,,three ,,things  ,,by  ,,elinor ,,glyn 
,,publishers ,,hearst',s ,,international
 ,,library ,,co4 ,,new ,,york           
,copyright1 #aiae1 by ,,hearst',s       
,,international ,,library ,,co41 ,,inc4 
,all rights reserved1 including the     
translation into foreign languages1     
including the ,scandinavian  ,,the      
,,quinn  ,,boden ,,co4 ,,press ,,rahway1
 ,n4 ,j4     ,,contents   ,,chapter     
,,introduction     ,i ,,the ,,old       
,,order ,,changeth    ,,ii ,,the        
,,gospel ,,of ,,common ,,sense   ,,iii  
,,marriage    ,,iv ,,after ,,marriage   
,v ,,should ,,divorce ,,be ,,made       
,,easier8    ,,vi ,,the ,,responsibility
 ,,of ,,motherhood   ,,vii ,,the        
,,responsibility ,,of ,,motherhood4     
,,second ,,paper     ,,introduction   ,i
 have called this little collection of  
articles which ,i have written ,,three  
,,things because to me there seem to be 
just three essentials to strive after in
 life4 ,truth--,common ,sense and       
,happiness4 ,to be able to see the first

 enables us to employ the second1 and so
 realise the third4 ,and in these papers
 ,i have tried to suggest some points   
which may be of use to others who1 like 
myself1 are endeavouring to reason out  
ideas to a good end4  ,how often one    
sees people who could be very happy1 and
 who yet with incredible blindness and  
stupidity are running their heads       
against stone walls 7or feather beds67  
and destroying all chance of peace for  
themselves1 their mates1 and their      
households6  ,everything is very simple 
when it is analysed down to what nature 
meant in the affair--and by doing this  
one gets a broader perspective4  ,for   
instance1 nature meant one thing in the 
connection of man and woman--and        
civilisation has grafted quite another  
meaning into it1 and the two things are 
often at war in the ,state called       
marriage6 ,in the chapters devoted to   
this subject ,i have tried to exploit   
some points which are not generally     
faced1 in the hope that if understood   

they might help towards ,happiness4     
,the thing which more than half of      
humanity seems to forget is the end they
 have in view6 ,they desire something   
really ardently1 and yet appear         
incapable of keeping their minds from   
straying into side issues1 which must   
logically militate against1 and probably
 prevent1 their desire's accomplishment4
 ,this is very strange6 ,a woman for    
instance profoundly desires to retain a 
man's love when she sees it is          
waning--but her wounded vanity causes   
her to use methods of reproach and      
recrimination towards him1 calculated   
certainly to defeat her end1 and        
accelerate his revolt4  ,i feel that in 
publishing this little collection in    
,america ,i must ask indulgence for the 
parts which seem to touch upon          
exclusively ,english aspects of the     
subjects under discussion--because the  
main ideas apply to humanity in general 
and not to any particular country4 ,the 
paper on ,divorce is of course written  

from an ,english point of view1 but its 
suggestions may be of some use to those 
who are interested in the question of   
divorce in the abstract1 and are on the 
alert as to the results of its          
facilities in ,america4 ,i do not       
presume to offer an opinion as to its   
action there2 and in this paper am not  
making the slightest criticism of the   
,american divorce laws--only stating    
what seems to me should rule all such   
questions in any country1               
namely1--,common sense and consideration
 for the welfare of the community4      
,above all things ,i am an incorrigible 
optimist6 and ,i truly believe that the 
world is advancing in every way and that
 we are already in the dawn of a new era
 of the understanding1 and the          
exploitation for our benefit of the     
great forces of nature4 ,but we of the  
majority of non-scientists1 were until  
so lately sound asleep to any           
speculative ideas1 and just drowsed on  
without thinking at all1 that it        

behooves us now that we are awake in the
 new century to try to see straight and 
analyse good and evil4  ,in my papers on
 the ,responsibility of ,motherhood ,i  
may be quite out of touch with ,american
 ideas--but ,i will chance that in the  
hope that some parts of them may be of  
service1 taken broadly4                 
,,elinor ,,glyn4     ,,paris1 #aiad4    
,i  ,,the ,,old ,,order ,,changeth      
,the ,old order changeth1 giving place  
to ,new2 and it would be well to realise
 this everlasting fact before we decide 
that the world is waxing evil1 and the  
times are waxing late4 ,and who can say 
that out of the seething of the present 
some noble and glorious ideals of life  
for men and women may not spring8       
,surely it is unwise to read in the     
writing upon the wall1 as so many do1   
only a pessimistic presage of inevitable
 death4 ,if there is writing for        
students of evolution to read1 then it  
should be taken as a warning indication 
which direction to avoid and which to   

take4 ,unrest is a sign1 not of decay1  
but of life4 ,stagnation alone gives    
warning of death4  ,and there are a     
number of facts to be faced before we   
can give an opinion either way4  ,the   
first of these is1 that all civilised   
nations are endeavouring to stamp out   
ignorance and disease1 and that an      
enormous advance in this direction can  
be observed in the last fifty years4    
,and1 taking a general view of the      
civilised peoples1 a far greater number 
of their units now lead less dreadful   
and degraded lives4  ,and surely these  
indications of mankind's advancement are
 as plain as are some other signs of    
decline4  ,the stirring up of the masses
 by insufficient education is bound to  
produce unrest1 and until the different 
elements have assorted themselves into  
their new places in the scheme of       
things1 how can there be tranquillity8  
,all is out of balance1 and has         
disturbed the machinery of the country's
 life1 for the time being4 ,but if the  

aim has been for enlightenment1 the     
eventual outcome must be good4  ,all    
scum in a boiling pot rises to the top1 
and makes itself seen1 concealing the   
pure liquid beneath1 until it is skimmed
 off4 ,and so we have political         
demagogues shouting the untenable       
fallacy that all men are equal1 together
 with other flamboyant nonsense2 and    
hooligan suffragists smashing windows4  
,but all these are only the scum upon   
the outside of a great upward movement  
in mankind1 and are not to be taken as  
the incontestable proof of the vicious  
condition of the whole mass4  ,the      
spirit that is abroad1 though one of    
great unrest1 is not one of decadence1  
but of progress4 ,but it would be folly 
not to admit that there are aspects of  
it which presage disaster unless        
directed1 just as the pot will boil over
 if not watched4  ,it may be interesting
 to scrutinise1 with unemotional common 
sense1 some of the causes of the present
 state of things1 and perhaps from this 

investigation come to some conclusions  
as to their remedy or encouragement4    
,nature1 whether human1 animal1 or      
vegetable1 will not be hurried1 or she  
produces the abnormal4 ,until about a   
hundred years ago everything seemed to  
be moving on with a very slow and       
gradual evolution4 ,some things changed 
a little1 others it would seem1 not at  
all4 ,and then1 after the first quarter 
of the nineteenth century1 ,science and 
,invention appeared to join hands1 and1 
with small beginnings1 gradually        
assuming mammoth proportions1 to        
revolutionise the very universe4 ,the   
result has been to make life easy to a  
class which formerly had to work hard   
for the bare necessities of existence4  
,with this came education4 ,the lowest  
of the people were taught to read and   
write1 and the most ill-chosen and      
elementary book-knowledge was flung upon
 unploughed soil1 unprepared for its    
reception4 ,nature was hurried1 and     
began to produce1 not fair flowers at   

once1 but the abnormal and diseased4 ,a 
little knowledge is a dangerous thing4  
,the education these crude minds        
received was not of the sort to show    
them their ignorance1 and implant in    
them a noble desire for more teaching1  
so as to achieve a gradual advancement1 
but was just sufficient to stir up      
discontent with what was1 and produce   
countless square pegs1 clamouring to get
 into round holes for which they were   
unfitted4  ,mechanical inventions did   
away with numbers of home duties1 and   
even the meagre education the masses    
then received was enough to cause them  
to throw grave doubts upon the accepted 
religion of the country4 ,the timid     
souls were released from the fear of    
hell1 as a powerful factor for the      
determining of their actions4 ,the bold 
felt they would have the support and    
sympathy of numbers of their fellows in 
breaking up old beliefs1 and the        
intelligent of both kinds refused to    
swallow many of the dogmas any longer4  

,thus the bridle which1 through the     
,christian ages1 had guided mankind1    
became as a mere thread4 ,and all these 
loosened steeds ran wild and are still  
running wild1 until enlightenment shall 
come to them1 and they will perceive    
that each individual is responsible to  
,god for himself4  ,the cry that the    
churches are emptying is perhaps true2  
and if it is a fact1 then of what use to
 lament it8 ,it would be more logical to
 search for the cause4 ,if people do not
 come of their own accord1 there is no  
law to oblige them to do so4            
,consequently1 if the churches wish for 
their return1 it is their business to   
provide fare which will induce them to  
take this course4  ,education has       
encouraged men and women to think for   
themselves1 and the religiously minded1 
who would willingly remain under some   
guidance1 have begun to perceive how    
very wide apart ,christ's beautiful     
teaching is from the interpretation of  
it which they often receive in church2  

while the others1 who had never any     
religious aspirations at all1 are glad  
that the weight of public opinion and   
custom no longer forces them into       
irksome attendance4 ,to fill churches   
with worshippers drawn there largely    
through hope of ,heaven or fear of      
,hell1 or because it was considered     
respectable and custom bound them to    
conform to its mandates1 surely could   
not have been very acceptable to ,god4  
,and the percentage who went truly to   
pour forth their love and worship1 are  
still pouring it forth1 because it came1
 and comes1 from their hearts whether   
they attend church or no4  ,the modern  
spirit is full of what ,edmond ,holmes  
calls the desire to ask the teacher or  
person in authority for his credentials4
 ,and if these are not entirely         
satisfactory1 the influence he can hope 
to wield will be nil4  ,to deplore      
anything that may happen to a country1  
or to ourselves1 is waste of time4 ,we  
should search for the reason of it1 and 

if it proves to be because there is some
 ineradicable cause1 intelligence should
 then be used to better the condition   
which results4 ,worship of something    
glorious and beyond ourselves will      
always swell the human heart1 and if the
 accepted forms of the religion of a    
country can no longer produce this      
emotion1 it is not because the human    
heart is changing1 but because there is 
something in those forms which no longer
 fulfils its mission4  ,the cry of the  
fear of the net of ,rome is futile also4
 ,people drift to where they belong1 and
 ,rome seems to offer to take all       
spiritual responsibility from the       
shoulders of her children4 ,it gives    
them an emotional satisfaction which    
brings comfort to all1 and amongst these
 any of hysterical nature probably      
become far happier and better citizens  
under her wing than they would otherwise
 have been4 ,no nets will catch the     
expanding soul which is rising out of   
its paltry self into ideals nearer to   

,god4  ,during the earlier days when    
religion held sway in ,england over at  
least nine-tenths of female lives1      
superfluous women were content as a rule
 to lead grey1 uneventful existences1   
making no more mark on their time than  
if they had been flocks of sheep4 ,but  
with the breakdown of this force1 and   
greater freedom of ideas1 they have     
brought themselves into prominence--the 
scum as a shrieking sisterhood1 and the 
pure elements unobtrusively1 as leaders 
of countless noble works4  ,meanwhile1  
in every class of the community the     
desire to move is felt4 ,travelling1    
formerly the luxury of the rich1 now is 
indulged in by an ever-increasing       
company4 ,the aspect of family life is  
changed1 and amusement is within the    
reach of all4  ,it is not reasonable to 
suppose with this total alteration in   
the view of existence1 that many things 
that we held beautiful and sacred should
 not have gone by the board--things such
 as filial respect1 gentle manners1     

chivalry1 obedience4 ,we are undoubtedly
 in an unpleasant state of incompletion 
as a nation to-day1 but by no means in  
one of decadence4 ,and if only the two  
great dangers do not swamp us--a mawkish
 and hysterical humanitarianism1 and the
 heedless pursuit of pleasure as the    
only end--the upward tendency of        
progress is bound to go on4 ,inventions1
 aided by science in all its            
ramifications1 have made life pleasant1 
and all these benefits have come too    
quickly for the recipients to be        
prepared to receive them with calm4     
,their equilibrium is disturbed1 and    
they are led into exaggerations1 and so 
the ugly side of the spirit of the      
,great ,unrest is born4 ,but1           
underneath1 the ,english people are a   
sane1 healthy stock in mind and body1   
and when education has opened their     
minds and broadened their understanding1
 they will surely allow their birthright
 of common sense among the nations to   
have sway again4 ,instead of standing   

aside and lamenting that times are evil 
and that the nation is going down hill1 
it behoves all thinking people to gather
 their forces together and seriously    
apply themselves to consider how they   
can better this condition of things4 ,in
 their daily life they can do so by     
setting up a high standard of sanity and
 right behaviour1 by the encouragement  
of fine aims and high ends1 by the firm 
avoidance of hypocrisy and hysterical   
altruism1 and by intelligent explanation
 to those under their care of the reason
 why individual responsibility is       
necessary for the welfare of the        
community at large4  ,and a most        
important lesson for every one to learn 
is the law of cause and effect4 ,the    
great rush of modern life is apt to     
produce an inconsequence of action4     
,anything good or bad is indulged in    
without time for thought as to its      
result4 ,but the law of the boomerang is
 immutable1 and its action goes on for  
ever--what we send out we receive again1

 sooner or later1 for good or ill4  ,the
 first principle of that great and      
wonderful wave of ,new ,thought which is
 sweeping over ,america1 and is         
beginning to find some understanding in 
this country1 is that the responsibility
 of each individual's well-being rests  
with himself1 and that his environment  
is the result of what his consciousness 
has been able to attract to himself4    
,and1 as no one limits us but ourselves1
 as soon as a man's consciousness begins
 strongly to create in his own mind new 
and better conditions1 he will          
inevitably draw them to himself in fact4
 ,from ,god there can emanate nothing   
but ,good4 ,it is the individual's own  
action which brings his punishment1 or  
reward4 ,if this fundamental principle  
could be investigated by responsible    
scientists1 unhampered by theological   
influences1 and with no prejudice as to 
the idea's being regarded as a mere     
culte1 its exactness could perhaps be   
mathematically proved beyond a cavilling

 doubt4 ,possibly then the doctrine     
might be allowed to be taught in the    
public schools1 to the everlasting      
benefit of the growing race4  ,to say   
the least of it1 it would inculcate an  
immense self-respect4  ,there should not
 be1 and ,i believe there is not1 any   
law which can prevent the lowest in the 
land from rising to the highest         
place--if he is fitted for it4 ,it is   
the ceaseless cry of the unfit unit for 
some situation above his capabilities1  
which is a distressing feature of modern
 life4 ,but1 even in this1 the spirit   
shown in the desire to rise is good2    
while if he had the will to fit himself 
for what he aspires to1 it would be     
splendid and great4 ,and these are the  
men and women who succeed1 no matter    
what avocations they may be engaged in4 
,the others1 the shouters1 only hamper  
the wheels of progress and fall         
eventually as the dust in the ruts4     
,formerly there was a hard line drawn   
between gentlemen and common men4 ,and  

there were all sorts of things that1    
however bad he might be1 a gentleman did
 not do2 or if he did commit these      
actions1 his punishment was swift4 ,he  
was obliged to face the ordeal of a     
duel1 or he received the cut direct from
 his own class4  ,these ideas of        
behaviour1 accompanied by the           
responsibility for the welfare of       
numbers of tenants upon his             
property--responsibility very often     
nobly sustained--produced in the old    
,english aristocrat a very fine specimen
 indeed4 ,and from him downwards in all 
the social classes1 a high tone of      
honour was maintained4 ,but now the     
democratic idea is sweeping away these  
classes and these standards4 ,the ,state
 is taking the power for good from the  
individual1 and the machine is crushing 
the man2 so it behooves all serious     
thinkers more than ever to use their    
logical common sense to supply the place
 once occupied by the old ideals4       
,nothing is so arrogant as              

ignorance--and loud shouting ever       
concealed an empty pate4  ,part of the  
crude spirit of the ,great ,unrest of   
to-day manifests itself by the effort of
 those beneath to demonstrate in words  
that they are the equals of those above 
them4 ,and1 pitiful and ridiculous as   
this is1 the spirit arose in good4 ,it  
is because those underneath desire to be
 the equals of those above them1 that   
they use the only means their limited   
understandings provide them with1 to try
 to obtain their ends4 ,you never hear  
of numbers of people shouting that they 
are the equals of the tramp in the      
street6  ,so it shows that even in this1
 the ,great ,unrest is an uplifting     
force4 ,and when reason and education   
have directed its current1 surely we may
 hope that we shall arise again as a    
nation1 like a giant refreshed with     
wine4  ,the study of the atavism of     
races1 the study of heredity1 the study 
of the influence of the welfare of the  
mother upon her unborn child1 are all   

useful and expanding studies for        
ordinary thinking minds1 and are quite  
within the scope of the average         
intelligence4 ,but the modern hatred of 
all restraint--another failing born in  
the good of desire for freedom--makes it
 difficult to preach any course of      
action which would involve curtailment  
of time or pleasure4  ,you often hear   
people say about some misfortune1 ,just 
as ,i expected1 such and such happened1 
and they do not stop to realise that    
their expectancy helped the thing which 
they feared1 to materialise4 ,no one can
 deny the force of imagination4 ,its    
existence has been abundantly proved4   
,for instance1 there was a case which   
was in the newspapers some time ago1 of 
the guard on a ,russian train who       
believed he was locked into the         
cold-storage van1 and wrote a letter    
describing how he was being frozen to   
death4 ,and he was actually found dead  
in the morning1 although the temperature
 of the car had never gone below        

freezing point6  ,people will readily   
credit this1 but will ridicule the idea 
that their own imaginations are daily   
helping or hindering their own and      
others' lives4  ,marconi demonstrated   
that messages can be transmitted by     
wireless telegraphy1 and his discovery  
became a thing of commercial value4 ,so 
it was believed in as nothing           
marvellous1 but merely as a new         
departure of science4 ,yet the          
numberless proofs of other currents     
beyond our actual sight which manifest  
themselves each day in every life1 and  
influence it1 are unconsidered          
quantities1 if not actually denied4     
,but there they are2 and though1 as the 
demonstration of an exact science1 they 
are laughed to scorn1 their force is    
unconsciously admitted in a hundred cant
 phrases1 such as1 ,he was under an evil
 influence1--,she makes you feel better 
because she is so cheerful1 etc41       
etc4--,both these things here alluded to
 as forces are intangible1 and yet are  

real proofs of the power of imagination4
  ,this shows how tremendously important
 it is never to allow our imagination to
 run into prognostications of evil1     
either in predictions for our country1  
for ourselves1 or for our friends4 ,each
 unit should try to help the great force
 for good by sending forth strong       
positive thoughts for its upliftment4   
,think1 for a moment1 under what a      
terrible shadow the soul of ,christian  
man has lain for these many hundred     
years6 ,ever since the doctrine of      
original sin was forced upon his belief1
 his soul has come into the world       
handicapped by millions of              
thought-currents expecting it to do     
evil1 unless continuously controlled and
 curtailed and punished into a semblance
 of good6 ,it cannot be wondered at1    
then1 that sometimes these forces become
 too strong for it1 and it does fall    
into sin4 ,but what an insult to ,god1  
the source of all love and beauty and   
holiness1 to suppose ,he would permit a 

tarnished atom of ,himself to reach the 
exquisite world ,he has created6  ,all  
who wish for enlightenment upon this    
subject1 and as to how they should view 
their children and their race1 should   
read ,edmond ,holmes's masterly work    
upon elementary education1 ,what ,is1   
and ,what ,might ,be4  ,we cannot stop  
the force which our own action1 in      
giving education to the lowest people1  
has put in motion1 and which has        
produced1 from their status upward1 the 
,great ,unrest4 ,we can hardly even hope
 to control it2 but we can and must do  
all in our power to guide and direct it 
into channels for the good and glory of 
our dear country1 making it1 as the fire
 ,prometheus stole from heaven1 an      
incentive to noble actions and great    
ends4  ,could not the people with large 
influence1 who are interested in this   
matter1 band together and discuss some  
scheme for the sending out of lecturers 
all over ,england who would explain1    
with common sense entirely stripped of  

all politics or religion1 to the rising 
generation1 the vast importance of      
individual responsibility--the duty of  
all citizens--the glory of helping the  
great force aright8 ,explanations1 in a 
practical and simple form1 would do more
 than a thousand laws1 or all the       
thunders from the pulpit or the         
platform4 ,if the children in every     
school could be made to feel they are   
all little men and women1 full of ,god's
 gift of a soul1 able and willing to    
help the raising of their country1 they 
would soon graft a new spirit into their
 homes4 ,they would respond as readily  
as do the hundreds of brave men who     
volunteer for active service1 and       
probable death1 to reinforce a          
fire-brigade1 or a life-boat's crew4    
,children are so wise when their fine   
instincts are appealed to4  ,if only    
this fundamental principle could be     
understood--that each individual has in 
this life1 or some former one1 attracted
 to himself the exact environment that  

he is now in--and that it lies only with
 himself whether he remains in it1 or   
lifts himself out of it1 there would be 
no more class hatred1 no more railing   
against hard luck and injustice1 but a  
steady increase of betterment all over  
the world4  ,the unfortunate thing is1  
that nearly all writers and talkers and 
lecturers1 who are enthusiasts1 and     
therefore really believe in what they   
are preaching1 have so little common    
sense4  ,they carry away their readers  
or audiences for the moment upon the    
current of their own divine enthusiasm1 
but when their utterances come to be    
measured by the cold light of fact1 the 
logical conclusions are so faulty1 that 
the whole1 which contained many thoughts
 of great and beautiful worth1 is       
dismissed as the ravings of a dreamer1  
and ceases to have any effect4  ,the    
main attribute of any religion1 of any  
ethical teaching1 of any principle--to  
be of use to men and women at the       
present stage of their development--must

 be incontestable common sense4         
,ridiculous sentimentality should be    
ruthlessly crushed1 and investigation of
 the meaning of ,nature should be       
strenuously encouraged4 ,and with clear 
eyes we should try to see the truth4    
,let those born fighters who like       
fighting for fighting's sake1 and who   
now wage war against windmills1 being   
armed with prejudice and false          
conceptions of man's place in relation  
to ,god1 turn their belligerent powers  
to the demolition of the double-headed  
,hydra1 ,hypocrisy and ,deceit4  ,it is 
the duty of every true man and woman at 
this hour of their country's day to     
begin to ,,think1 to weigh for himself  
or herself the meanings of the signs of 
the times1 to use their critical        
faculties1 to face facts honestly1      
unhampered by prudery1 convention1 or   
the doctrines of the ,church4 ,and then 
they will see for themselves that the   
,great ,unrest is a force1 the direction
 of which1 for good or ill1 lies in     

their own hands4 ,and according to the  
way they fulfil the responsibility      
entailed upon them in this matter1 they 
or their children will reap the reward1 
or pay the price4 ,the ,great ,unrest in
 its seething is still molten metal1    
which can be poured into what mould we  
will4  ,to call this ,great ,unrest a   
sign of decadence and a presage of      
destruction1 would be as fallacious as  
to say that electricity is an entirely  
mischievous force4 ,both are mischievous
 when undirected1 and both are glorious 
when used for good4  ,the test of the   
expansion of man's soul is the extent of
 its outlook4 ,the puny spirit sees an  
hour or two ahead2 the more advanced    
probably conceives plans to benefit     
himself and his loved ones day by day4  
,the developed soul desires the good of 
his country4 ,but the soul that is      
infinite and emancipated sees into      
eternity and demands of ,god the        
regeneration of humanity4     ,,ii      
,,the ,,gospel ,,of ,,common ,,sense    

,of all the attributes which we of the  
twentieth century should most           
strenuously encourage1 that of common   
sense ranks first1 in the face of the   
hysteria which threatens to weaken1 if  
it does not swamp1 all the wonderful new
 spirit of progress which is abroad4    
,common sense applied to everything     
alone can restore our equilibrium as a  
nation1 because as the years of this new
 century go on hysteria seems to        
increase4 ,nothing in the way of a      
public event can happen1 from the just  
condemnation of a criminal for some     
atrocious crime1 to the sinking of an   
ocean mammoth ship1 but a large section 
of the public makes an outcry inspired  
by altruism or so-called                
humanitarianism1 both developing into   
hysteria4  ,let us look at the reason of
 this carefully1 and we shall see that  
this state of things is the direct      
result of an irresponsible employment of
 the gigantic power of thought4 ,some   
few excitable brains start an idea1 the 

circulation of which is made possible by
 the modern facilities for expression in
 the press4 ,and because the majority of
 readers do not think for themselves1   
they are drawn into the current of      
unrest which has thus been suggested to 
their imagination1 each individual      
augmenting its strength until it grows  
into a torrent of folly4  ,this proves  
the tremendous importance it is to a    
nation that each of its units should    
realise his own responsibility in regard
 to this matter4 ,the moment that such a
 thing could be accomplished--that is1  
that the understanding of the power of  
thought could be brought home to        
people--there are millions of sound1    
honest folk who would deliberately try  
to use their possession of it for the   
good of themselves and the race1 and who
 would bring up their children to do    
likewise4  ,the wave of complete        
materialism which passed over ,europe   
during what we call the ,victorian      
period discouraged any personal         

investigation of forces beyond what     
could actually be proved by the senses4 
,numberless examples of natural         
phenomena were laughed to scorn as the  
illusions of the ignorant4 ,people read 
their ,bibles1 wherein there are        
countless instances shown of the power  
of thought1 and never dreamed of        
applying the teaching to themselves4    
,how such a materialistic age ever      
accepted ,christ's miracles is a matter 
for wonderment1 although now1 looked at 
from the point of view of those who have
 investigated the currents of nature1   
the miracles are merely a proof of      
,jesus' divine understanding of these   
currents and forces in their greatest   
measure4 ,we modern people are only as  
yet at the experimental stage1 and      
hedged in by timidity and custom1 but   
there is no reason why we should not    
advance if we desire to do so4  ,think  
how the power of thought showed itself  
about the ,titanic disaster6 ,there is  
no need now to go over its hysterical   

effects upon us on land1 how in our     
misery and anxiety we praised and blamed
 from excitable imagination1 before any 
actual facts could be known to justify  
either course4 ,but let us instead try  
to imagine what in its glorious form it 
did upon that great ship on the night of
 her overwhelming4  ,everything seems to
 have been calm and in fair order4 ,why8
 ,because it has been now proved that   
the majority of those on board did not  
think the ship could sink4 ,only a      
limited number of men knew that she not 
only could1 but would1 and these        
glorious and splendid souls did their   
duty to the last1 with the awful        
knowledge of certain death in their     
hearts4 ,their names should be written  
in letters of gold--heroes1 indeed6     
,but1 meanwhile1 the power of thought   
had kept all calm1 and had permitted the
 saving of the women and children       
without panic4  ,think for a moment what
 would have happened if the passengers  
of all classes had been aware1 from the 

first moment of the collision1 that all 
were bound to go down who could not find
 places in the boats4 ,the power of     
thought would then have created a mad   
panic of fear which no officers' pistols
 could have kept in check1 and which    
might have produced a rush upon the     
lifeboats which would have swamped them 
all4 ,but as it was1 the power of       
thought in the few individuals who      
realised the general peril1 was used by 
them in a godlike suppression of their  
own emotion1 which produced an answering
 vibration of calm in the majority under
 their care4  ,i do not want to refer to
 the awful story except in so far as it 
is a concrete illustration of what ,i   
wish to write about--the power of       
thought examined with common sense in   
its relation to the happiness of each   
individual1 and the responsibility of   
its employment by each individual for   
the benefit of the community--not from  
the desire to use this opportunity to   
circulate propaganda for any of the new 

ethical teachings1 but simply from a    
common-sense point of view to see what  
good we can get out of a belief that is1
 ,i suppose1 common to them all4  ,now  
let us consider what most of us do      
actually know about this power of       
thought4 ,we all are aware that no      
picture can be painted1 no machinery    
invented1 before a clear vision of it   
has been realised in the creator's      
brain4 ,not a single conscious action   
can be put into motion and force without
 its having first occurred to the       
imagination4 ,the painter's hand and    
brush would be of no avail undirected by
 his brain or mind1 which has first     
mentally visualised what it wishes to   
create in fact4 ,draw the analogy from  
this1 and you will see that what you    
think about must have an enormous       
bearing upon your life4 ,if thought1    
when inspired by desire1 is strong      
enough to cause the hand to reproduce   
the vision of the imagination of the    
artist1 this is an incontestable proof  

that thought is a very strong force     
indeed4 ,you will agree with this if    
you--each individual who is reading     
these words--begin to examine yourself  
with truth4  ,admitted1 then1 that you  
perceive the force of thought4 ,now     
consider what miserable thinking is     
likely to bring you4 ,it1 according to  
the analogy above1 can only eventually  
attract for you in fact the miserable   
conditions that you have dwelt upon in  
imagination4 ,if1 on the contrary1 you  
think constantly of fine and prosperous 
things1 you must by this reasoning1 be  
connecting yourself with the currents   
which can bring them in their material  
form4  ,therefore1 every time you say ,i
 am ill1 or think ,i am ill1 are you not
 helping the illness to materialise8    
because the power of thought1 which you 
cannot deny as the initial cause of     
every action1 has then been turned to   
aid the condition of ill health4        
,supposing for some cause you really are
 ill1 why then help this evil state to  

augment by your thoughts8 ,rather impede
 its progress as far as you can by      
creating good-thought conditions4  ,you 
may reply1 ,but ,i am constantly doing  
this1 and yet nothing good comes4 ,pause
 and use your common sense by           
remembering that for                    
twenty--thirty--forty years perhaps1    
when you did not analyse matters1 you   
were laying up for yourself numberless  
stumbling-blocks by wrong thinking1     
which according to the law we are       
discussing must be surmounted before you
 can start on a clear road4 ,and the    
reason why you do not immediately       
receive the result of your good thoughts
 is that you are still under the action 
of your bad ones4 ,but if you recognise 
this law of the power of thought1 you   
need not incur for yourself any further 
debts to pay4  ,and to recognise it as a
 law you have only to use your common   
sense to see that it is not conceivable 
that thoughts can have no effect outside
 your own brain4 ,they cannot be wasted 

and go into nothingness1 they must      
strike some answering vibration         
somewhere1 and it is surely rational to 
suppose they will strike the kindred    
vibration rather than some totally      
different one1 as the ,marconi messages 
strike the pole in tune to them4 ,at    
least1 it is worth while trying to      
believe this1 because if you can it will
 make you happier4  ,alas6 ,i am not a  
scientist who can dogmatically prove    
every fraction of my beliefs4 ,i only   
want to awaken my readers to think for  
themselves upon this interesting        
subject1 for the facts are there for us 
all to investigate1 unaided by          
scientists1 if we will4  ,so without any
 more argument1 shall we take it for    
granted that you are with me thus far1  
and have seen my point8 ,yes4 ,then let 
us examine what our thoughts do for us4 
,for example1 let us suppose a man has a
 disease which is believed to be        
incurable4 ,his thoughts tell him so    
constantly1 and the thoughts of his     

friends1 often expressed in words1      
convince him still further of his       
misfortune4 ,he is certain nothing he   
can do will make it better1 and any     
remedy that is applied will only meet   
with failure4 ,he has made his mental   
picture of an incurable disease2 and so 
he is helping the material result to    
accomplish itself4 ,but1 as hope springs
 eternal in the human breast1 he still  
goes from doctor to doctor for fresh    
advice1 while unconsciously nullifying  
the benefit he might receive from doing 
so by his attitude of mind in holding   
the belief that nothing can cure him4   
,we must all of us know of cases like   
this1 and have seen the gradual increase
 in the person's illness4  ,now         
supposing that the starting-point is the
 same2 the disease certainly is there1  
but the man is determined not to aid and
 augment this state of things1 so       
whenever the thought presents itself    
that he has an incurable disease he     
persistently banishes it and replaces it

 with one that he will grow well4 ,he   
will be aiding that condition2 he will  
be making himself the pole in tune to   
receive the answering vibrations of his 
mental picture4 ,he will know that he   
must be drawing to himself every chance 
that science has up till this time of   
the world's day been able to invent or  
discover for the betterment of such a   
disease as his4 ,he will know that he is
 giving nature a free hand1 and as far  
as he is able1 he is opening every door 
to the probability that he may grow     
well4 ,now1 if we admit the power of    
thought1 we must admit it has power to  
go both these ways4 ,is it not worth    
while trying to think good things for   
ourselves1 then1 instead of evil ones8  
,it does not seem possible1 as ,i       
understand some assert1 that by mere    
thinking and believing we can cure even 
a broken arm4 ,because1 although the    
principle may be right in its           
eventuality1 no one on earth can be     
quite advanced enough yet to draw these 

forces to himself sufficiently strongly 
to demonstrate it as ,christ did4 ,but  
we are at the stage when1 by our        
thoughts1 we can certainly aid physical 
means of betterment4 ,thus when we or   
our friends are ill1 it lies in our own 
hands whether we will aid or retard our 
or their recovery4  ,long years ago1    
before any of these psychic waves were  
discussed or given the least credence1  
,i remember a very celebrated ,american 
doctor telling me1 as a curious fact1   
that he often got his patients over the 
crisis of typhoid fever by telling them 
cheerfully beforehand that the dangerous
 moment was passed1 and they were not to
 worry over the seemingly worse physical
 sensations they were perhaps about to  
experience--these were only the         
reaction4 ,in that way1 he said1 he     
removed the amount of fear from the mind
 of the patient which otherwise might   
have been enough to cause the extra     
exertion to the heart which would have  
proved fatal at the critical moment4    

,the power of thought1 you see1 and     
nothing else1 then saved them4  ,to     
continue this line of reasoning in      
mental1 not physical1 things4 ,supposing
 you feel angry and resentful towards   
some one1 and you send out thoughts of  
hate and ill-will4 ,the pole in tune to 
such feelings in that person will answer
 and return them to you1 and a condition
 of evil will be created4 ,but supposing
 that1 when perhaps the justly angry and
 resentful thoughts present themselves1 
you replace them instantly with kind and
 loving ones4 ,you will have            
disconnected yourself with the evil     
thoughts of the other person1 they can  
no longer reach you1 and if he has any  
good in him you will have connected     
yourself with that good1 and so peace   
can be established4  ,all this is common
 sense1 which is the only attitude of   
mind with which to approach any new     
suggestion that we may get benefit from 
it1 and not through our arrogant        
ignorance dismiss it as nonsense1 until 

we have proved it to be such4 ,a hundred
 years ago the telephone would have been
 considered either as magic or the      
vapourings of a madman if an individual 
had tried to explain it4 ,we say that   
,france is developing a new spirit1 we  
say ,a wave of discontent seems to be   
passing over such and such a community1 
we are thus unconsciously admitting the 
power of forces beyond the perceptible4 
,why cannot we instantly grasp1 then1   
what the power of our everyday thought  
is doing for us1 and how careful we     
should be in its direction to avoid     
augmenting the current of foolish and   
harmful ones--because unity is strength4
 ,there are many grains of good to be   
got out of all new ethical teachings1 if
 only they can be sifted by common      
sense4 ,the unfortunate part is1 that   
very often it is only the faddists who  
expound them1 and they go off at a      
tangent4 ,one reads several pages of    
illuminating matter1 and then1 perhaps1 
one comes upon a chapter devoted to     

proving that mankind must train itself  
to live upon nuts or uncooked           
vegetables6 ,or that the only way to    
learn concentration is for the pupil to 
school himself mentally to stare for so 
many minutes at an imaginary spot in the
 solar plexus6  ,common sense revolts1  
although many may not be sufficiently   
trained to make the deduction that if   
,god1 the omnipotent1 original1         
all-dominating dynamo1 gave the flesh of
 bird1 beast and fish1 and the fruits   
and vegetables of the earth for mankind 
to feed upon1 it is a little ridiculous 
for one sect to eliminate as food all   
but the special part of these aliments  
of which it approves4 ,thus1 common     
sense being affronted1 all the rest of  
the teaching is likely to fall upon     
stony ground and only be received by the
 faddists in tune to this particular    
argument4 ,no theory for the betterment 
of mankind will succeed now with the    
mass of people or make any lasting mark 
upon time unless its basic principle can

 stand practical dissection4  ,so that  
upon this subject of the power of       
thought1 all that any one at the present
 stage can do1 no matter what his own   
personal beliefs may be1 is to try and  
awaken people to think about it         
themselves and make their own           
investigations2 to open a window for any
 soul to look through and see what he   
can get from it for himself4 ,because1  
as yet1 the scientists and psychologists
 have not been sufficiently interested  
in the idea to endeavour to prove and   
demonstrate it as an exact science      
beyond all controversy4 ,when this has  
been done1 the intelligent will credit  
it because they are convinced1 and the  
ignorant because they follow the others 
without reason4  ,all ,i hope to do by  
writing this article is to point out    
that the power of thought is a vital    
factor in our lives1 and can really     
affect every hour of them for good or   
ill4  ,thousands of people who read the 
new ethical or religious books which are

 abroad1 and even exploit their         
propaganda--thousands who attend the    
various meetings and services and       
lectures of the different societies1 be 
they ,new ,thought or any of the others 
on more or less the same lines--never   
dream of applying the teachings to a    
single ordinary thing1 and still go on  
with their tempers and melancholy and   
flurry and fuss1 just as they did before
 they ever heard of the idea that they  
can control and eliminate these things4 
,an enormous majority of the public are 
frightened at the very name of a new    
religion or ethical teaching1 and think 
it wrong even to investigate what it    
teaches4 ,but the broad-minded are      
unafraid of any knowledge1 and can gain 
good by knowing about all developments  
of human thought1 provided they approach
 each point with common sense and       
without hysteria1 dismissing the idea of
 what we are accustomed to call the     
supernatural1 and realising that        
everything has a perfectly natural      

explanation when it can be understood1  
and it is only our ignorance which makes
 us shy at it4  ,and so ,i would appeal 
to those who credit this power of       
thought to employ it responsibly1 and to
 realise that they are all ,god's atoms 
in the great scheme of things1 and must 
use their personal force as a           
contribution to the vast thought-waves  
which can advance1 or which1 when ill   
directed1 can sweep away a nation4      
,,iii  ,,marriage   ,it is an           
interesting subject--and one which has  
touched1 or will probably touch1 most of
 our lives1 therefore it may not be     
unprofitable to study it a little1 and  
what it means and what it should mean2  
because1 in the present upheaval of all 
our old beliefs1 marriage1 as a sensible
 institution1 is being attacked upon    
many sides4  ,it is extremely easy to   
pull down a house1 but it requires skill
 and special training to rebuild it     
again2 and before dragging the roof off 
and demolishing the walls1 it would be  

wiser to have made a distinct plan and  
provided the materials ready for the    
reconstruction of a new habitation1 that
 the rain and the wind may not overcome 
us when we have no shelter for our      
heads4 ,but this is what the attackers  
of marriage have failed to do as yet4   
,here are three facts which we can begin
 by looking at4  ,firstly4 ,some kind of
 union between man and woman1           
consolidated by the law1 is necessary   
for the continuation of a race in vigour
 and moral upliftment4  ,secondly4 ,it  
is admitted by great philosophers and   
deep thinkers that the welfare of the   
community is of more importance than the
 fluctuating desires of the individual4 
,thirdly4 ,a fine ideal1 however        
impossible of attainment1 is a force for
 good to be held up before the eyes of  
the mass of the people1 who1 however    
much actual education has advanced1 are 
still too unendowed with personal brain 
to have any judgment themselves--their  
capacities only allowing them to see the

 effects of things upon their immediate 
surroundings without perceiving the     
causes1 and therefore leaving them      
incapable of judging what could be good 
for the country1 the race1 or humanity  
in general4  ,after all these centuries1
 legal marriage still holds1 because no 
one has been able to suggest any other  
union which could take its place without
 bringing chaos4 ,and it seems more than
 likely that no one will ever be        
sufficiently inspired so to do6 ,thus   
let us now consider the present legal   
marriage as still being a stable fact1  
and see how we can make the best of it4 
,in it there are two things which both  
man and woman forget--or refuse to      
face--and which are perhaps the chief   
causes of most unhappiness4 ,man forgets
 that his kind words of love and        
sympathy matter far more to the actual  
happiness of the woman than any of his  
deeds3 because words fill and satisfy   
her imagination1 which is active        
whenever she is alone2 and kind deeds1  

with few or indifferent words1 make very
 little impression upon it4 ,woman      
forgets--or will not face--the fact that
 man is by nature a polygamous animal4  
,there is no use in arguing about this  
and saying he ought not to be1 and that 
it is a horrible idea4 ,it is a         
physiological fact1 and to dispute it is
 to criticise the ,almighty's scheme for
 ensuring a continued population4 ,that 
man should have polygamous instincts is 
essential for this scheme to work       
against any odds4  ,whatever we choose  
to say in contradiction to this resolves
 itself into empty words1 the fact of   
nature remaining4 ,it would be just as  
sensible to try to argue that1 because  
we do not like to drink sea water1 it   
has no business to be salt6 and to      
decide that it is not salt6 and that we 
will not recognise that it is salt6 ,the
 ocean would just laugh at us1 and      
remain briny6 ,and no doubt ,nature     
laughs at silly woman too1 when she     
tries to judge man without understanding

 the elementary principle of creation4  
,this being grasped clearly1 it must be 
seen that monogamous marriage is an     
ideal state1 not a natural state1 and it
 must be admitted to be such1 and lived 
up to as an ideal1 not undertaken with  
the notion that fidelity in man is      
natural1 and infidelity an unnatural    
thing4 ,it is the other way about       
because of the fundamental instincts of 
man1 which continuously and             
subconsciously suggest to him the       
necessity for self-preservation1 and in 
its larger sense self-preservation means
 species-preservation4  ,woman1 on the  
other hand1 although unconsciously      
inspired by this same fundamental       
instinct of species-preservation1 is not
 naturally polygamous1 or rather        
polyandrous1 because such a state would 
militate against this end by eventually 
destroying pure offspring4 ,she only    
becomes so under certain conditions4    
,fidelity1 then1 is1 so to speak1 a     
natural state for woman1 and she has not

 to fight against any fundamental       
instinct of her sex in order to preserve
 it--she has only to resist perverted   
desire1 which is an exotic growth1 the  
outcome of civilisation4 ,thus fidelity 
is much harder for man1 who1 to succeed 
in being faithful1 is obliged to        
dominate a natural instinct1 which is a 
far more difficult thing to do than to  
fight against an exotic desire2 because 
all natural things are governed by      
inexorable and eternal laws1 and are not
 at the mercy of circumstance4 ,thus the
 natural instinct of man is at work all 
the time in continuous activity--and the
 exotic desire of woman is intermittent1
 and the result of circumstance4  ,of   
course1 all this has been said before by
 every serious thinker1 and ,i am only  
reiterating these facts because the     
general readers may have forgotten them1
 and ,i must bring them to their        
recollection to make the rest of our    
discussion upon marriage clear4  ,these 
nature instincts being admitted1 we can 

get on to a survey of legal marriage4   
,at first1 it must have been an affair  
of expediency4 ,the woman was probably  
expected to be faithful1 and brute force
 took care that she was so1 or that she 
immediately paid the price of possible  
contamination of offspring by being     
killed4 ,she was expected to be faithful
 for a natural reason1 not for a        
spiritual or sentimental one2 the reason
 being1 as already inferred1 to ensure  
the purity of the offspring4 ,man had no
 need to be faithful to one woman to    
secure this end1 and never1 in          
consequence1 dreamed of being so4  ,all 
through ,pagan times infidelity in man  
was rampant and recognised1 and not     
looked upon as sin4 ,and when woman     
became civilised enough to have exotic  
desires1 she lost her natural instinct1 
that of preservation of pure offspring1 
and became liable to vagrant fancies and
 often a vicious creature4  ,then the   
,church arrived and turned marriage into
 a sacrament2 presumably with the noble 

intention of trying to elevate man and  
overcome his carnal nature4 ,man        
outwardly conformed1 and1 with his whole
 soul's desire to be true and to uplift 
himself1 each individual who really     
believed no doubt did war with his      
instincts1 and numbers probably         
succeeded in conquering them4 ,while    
woman1 always a creature of more        
delicate nervous susceptibilities1 flung
 herself with furore under the          
influences of spiritual things1 and in  
the truly devout cases overcame her     
grafted desires and returned to natural 
instincts4 ,but in beings of both sexes 
who were unconvinced by religion1       
infidelity continued to flourish1 as it 
does even to this day4 ,a man who truly 
believes that he is sinning in being    
unfaithful1 and who understands that    
outside opinion is nothing in the       
soiling of his own soul1 but that the   
matter is between himself and ,god1 will
 always be faithful in body to a woman  
he has wedded1 whether he cares for her 

or not4 ,but a man who has not this     
conviction1 and who does not live in    
this intimate relation to ,god1 has no  
reason to hold him from indulging his   
natural instinct1 except the fear of    
being found out1 and when his sagacity  
has suggested safeguards against this1  
his instinct will certainly give itself 
expression4 ,it is all a question of    
personal belief4 ,there are numbers of  
good and honest characters who do not   
feel convinced that entire fidelity in  
man to one woman was intended by the    
,creator1 and who therefore feel no     
degradation in the latitude they allow  
themselves4 ,it is not for us to argue  
which are right and which are wrong1 but
 to stick to the subject of marriage and
 how it can perhaps be made happier in  
these present days1 when all other      
conditions of life are changing1 by a   
better comprehension of fundamental     
instincts and laws of nature4  ,woman   
has developed so far that generally she 
thinks she is 7and sometimes she really 

is67 a reasonable and balanced creature1
 with strong individuality--and personal
 tastes and likes and dislikes4 ,she is 
now ill-fitted to keep them all in      
subservience to man1 unless he is her   
intellectual master4 ,she may have      
wedded only because the emotion of sex  
7not understood as such1 and called by a
 number of other names such as love1    
devotion1 attraction7 forced her at one 
of its powerful moments to take a       
physical mate--totally unsuited to her  
moral calibre4 ,but she has knelt at the
 altar and sworn vows before ,god--and  
perhaps has fulfilled woman's original  
mission in the world1 and become the    
mother of children--so what is to be    
done to rectify her mistake and its     
unhappy consequences8  ,she must look   
the whole circumstances of it in the    
face and ask herself whether she herself
 threw dust in her own eyes as regards  
the character of her husband1 whether he
 deceived her in this1 or whether they  
just drifted together1 each to blame as 

much as the other1 through the          
attraction of sex and the cruelty of    
ignorance4 ,she may regret it a         
thousandfold--but she has done the thing
 of her own free will1 no one forced her
 to wed the man2 she may have done so   
unwillingly in some cases--and for      
ulterior motives1 but at all events she 
was consenting and not dragged to church
 resisting1 and so if she is sensible   
she will use the whole of her           
intelligence to make the best of it4    
,she will look to the end of her every  
action and her every thought4 ,will     
brooding over her rights1 and the wrongs
 he has inflicted1 mend them8 ,will it  
do anything but give her vanity--the    
satisfaction of self-pity8 ,certainly   
not4  ,if she has really evolved enough 
to wish to impose her opinions and      
individuality upon her household or the 
community1 she will have realised that  
the welfare of the home for which she is
 responsible1 and the community to which
 she belongs1 are1 or ought to be1 of   

far more consequence to her than her own
 personal emotions4 ,therefore she must 
ask herself whether she has any right to
 upset the happiness of the one1 and the
 conception of good of the other1 by    
indulging in personal quarrels and      
bickerings1 or open scandal with her    
mate4 ,a really noble and unselfish     
woman would never consider her personal 
emotion before her duty to ,god and to  
her neighbour4 ,it is because the       
outlook of woman is as a rule so        
pitifully narrow and self-centred that  
she often makes a useless and unhappy   
wife1 and shipwrecks her own and others'
 futures4  ,man has gone on with his    
brute force1 and his physical and mental
 attraction1 and his tastes and beliefs 
and aspirations very much the same for  
thousands of years4 ,numbers of them    
were brutes then1 and numbers are brutes
 still and will remain so4 ,it is only  
woman who has so incredibly changed1 and
 after staying immeasurably behind in   
importance and in intellectuality for   

countless centuries1 now seeks to equal 
if not outstep man in all things4 ,it   
would be well for man to wake up to the 
fact that he is now wedding a woman with
 every sense and nerve and conception of
 life far in advance of what his mother 
believed herself to be capable of--and  
so his methods towards her in return    
must not be as his father's were4 ,if   
man wishes to have the good1 domestic1  
obedient wife his father--perhaps one   
should go farther back and say          
grandfather6--expected--and got--he must
 either choose a timid weakling who     
becomes just his echo1 or he must learn 
to treat the modern woman as a comrade1 
a being who mentally can understand and 
follow his aspirations and even assist  
him in his desires1 a creature to       
respect and consult1 and whom he cannot 
rule just because he is a man and she is
 a woman--but can only do so1 and bring 
her to obedience1 when he has shown her 
his intellectual superiority and his    
wisdom4  ,woman is as willing to be     

ruled as ever she was--she always adores
 a master2 but she has grown too        
intelligent to bow her head just because
 a man is a man--he must be the man4    
,man is naturally fighting for his old  
omnipotence1 which he possessed         
regardless of his personal endowment1   
simply because he was a male            
creature--and the foolish section of    
woman is fighting man1 with bombs and   
tricks and frantic words1 instead of    
convincing him by her wisdom and        
attainments1 by her demonstrations of   
knowledge of life and its duties and    
responsibilities1 that she has grown at 
last indeed fitted to be treated as an  
equal and a comrade1 not as a plaything 
and a slave4  ,who does not respect a   
woman who fulfils all her obligations   
with grace and charm1 whose house is    
well ordered1 whose friends are well    
entertained by her fine mind1 and whose 
children are well brought up and full of
 understanding8 ,she is indeed more     
precious than rubies and far more full  

of influence for the good of her        
community than she who shouts of rights 
and wrongs and votes and such-like4 ,the
 first woman could control a hundred    
votes1 and help a government1 but the   
second can only clog the wheels of the  
sex's advancement4  ,now we get back to 
marriage6  ,and the first and foremost  
thing to be understood is that it is a  
frightful responsibility to undertake1  
and that all those who enter into this  
bond lightly and for frivolous motives1 
or from just drifting1 will be made by  
fate to pay the price4  ,think of it6   
,two people stand up and swear before   
,god to continue to love one another    
until death do them part4 ,they solemnly
 stand there and make vows about an     
emotion over which they have no more    
control than they have over the keeping 
of the wind in the south4 ,they have    
only control1 if they have strong wills1
 over its demonstration4 ,and then in   
nine cases out of ten neither thinks for
 a moment afterwards1 of his or her     

responsibility of trying to make        
possible the observance of these vows1  
by keeping alight the flame of love in  
the other's heart4 ,a man utterly       
disillusions a woman and then blames    
her1 not himself1 for her ceasing to    
care for him1 and being eventually      
attracted by some one else6 ,a woman    
disgusts or bores a man1 and then       
bewails her sad lot1 and calls the man a
 brute for being indifferent1 and a     
shameful creature for looking elsewhere 
for consolation6 ,in all marriages there
 is no one to blame or praise for       
unhappiness or happiness but the two    
individuals themselves4 ,it is his      
fault--or misfortune--if she no longer  
cares1 and likewise hers in the parallel
 case--and it is owing to the weakness  
of either if outside circumstances have 
been able to interfere4 ,thus to ensure 
happiness there must be a tremendous    
sense of personal responsibility1 and   
there should be understanding of life   
and understanding of nature instincts   

and understanding of sex instincts2 and 
a ruthless tearing away of the false    
values which a ,victorian age grafted   
upon religion1 narrowing the mind of    
woman as to man's needs--and narrowing  
man's conception of woman's mental      
capacity4  ,no woman must ever forget in
 her relation to man that he who pays   
the piper calls the tune1 and in this ,i
 am not only speaking literally of      
shekels of gold and silver1 but of the  
power incorporated in certain           
personalities2 and man1 if he chose to  
exert it1 has always force majeure at   
his command in the last extremity1      
although in these days of ,herculean    
young women he may lose even this in    
time6  ,before undertaking to play that 
most difficult part of wife1 every girl 
ought to ask herself1 ,does she really  
care for the man enough to make her use 
her intelligence to understand him1 and 
to try to keep him loving her8 ,or if   
she does not personally care enough for 
him to trouble about this--will the     

situation of her husband in the world   
satisfy her1 and make the bondage1      
unleavened by love1 of the care of      
house1 servants1 and possible children1 
worth while8  ,before undertaking the   
situation she ought to look at every    
aspect of the case1 and question herself
 searchingly upon her own aims and ends1
 and if the actual facts will or will   
not fit in with them4 ,having made up   
her mind that for one reason or another 
it is for her happiness to take a       
certain man for her mate1 she ought then
 sedulously to cultivate all the aspects
 of the condition which can conduce to  
peace and to the attainment and         
enjoyment of that end4 ,she must not    
forget that the man has paid her the    
highest honour a man can pay a woman4   
,he has selected her to be his life's   
companion4 ,he proposes in nine cases   
out of ten1 to provide her with a home  
and a position in life1 and to take upon
 himself the responsibility of her      
maintenance 7when the woman has money of

 her own this question is different     
naturally74 ,but in all cases the man in
 asking her to marry him has shown that 
something in her--or in her             
possessions--makes her appear worth the 
giving up of his liberty4 ,so she owes  
him just as much as the thing he took   
her for4 ,if for her money1 and she     
knows it is for that1 and she has been  
sufficiently humble to accept him on    
those terms--she owes him money4 ,if for
 love--she owes him at least the outside
 observances of love4 ,if he has        
pretended love and it is for some other 
motive1 his ,nemesis will fall upon     
himself in the disillusion and contempt 
he will inspire4 ,but in all cases the  
woman1 through want of intelligence or  
pure misfortune1 has crossed the        
,rubicon with him2 she has allowed him  
to teach her the meaning of dual        
life--she has put it into his power with
 her to create future lives4 ,she       
cannot1 for any price or any prayers1   
recross that fatal stream4 ,so for all  

reasons of common sense--and above all1 
sense of responsibility to the          
community--she had better make the best 
of her bargain4  ,likewise1 man should  
pause and think1 ,is it merely because  
,i cannot obtain this woman upon any    
other terms that ,i am offering her     
marriage8 ,have ,i respect for her8 ,do 
,i think she will bring happiness into  
my house as well as pleasure to my body8
 ,is she suited to my brain capacity    
when ,i am not exalted by physical      
emotion8 ,am ,i going to curb my        
selfishness and behave decently towards 
her8  ,if he cannot answer these        
questions satisfactorily he may know    
that he is undertaking a hundred-to-one 
chance of peace and happiness4 ,but if  
the physical desire is stronger than all
 these considerations1 then he must know
 and realise that whatever happens he   
must never blame the woman4 ,he has     
succumbed to the most material and alas6
 the most hideously strong force in     
nature--not because the woman tempted   

him1 as it has been the fashion for man 
to say since the days of ,adam--but     
because there is something in himself   
which is so weak that it cannot listen  
to the promptings of the spirit when the
 body calls4  ,in each and every case it
 is a man's duty to be kind and         
courteous to a woman who is his wife4   
,he has made her so by his free vows    
before ,god 7because no one can be      
forced to the altar against his absolute
 will in these days71 or he has made her
 so by vows and business agreement1     
according to the laws of his country1   
before the ,registrar4 ,in either case  
he has made her his legal wife and the  
possible mother of his children--units  
unborn who can affect the welfare of his
 country4 ,he has1 then1 his great      
duties towards her4 ,if she was a girl1 
he has taken from her that which nothing
 on earth can restore2 he has made her  
into another being4 ,he has been        
instrumental in making her--this other  
human soul--accept responsibilities1 and

 he is bound as an honourable man to    
school himself so as to be able to help 
the mutual happiness and peace of their 
dual existence4 ,and if he wishes to be 
obeyed1 loved1 and respected1 he has to 
look to himself that he inspires        
obedience1 love1 and respect in his     
mate4 ,she will not experience these    
feelings to order2 and fear alone1 or   
some other and lower motive1 would make 
her simulate them4 ,man must not forget 
that nothing simulated can last4 ,truth 
alone remains at the end of the year4   
,no marriage can be certain of          
continuing happy which has been entered 
into in the spirit of taking a lottery  
ticket4 ,but most marriages could be    
fairly happy if both man and woman      
looked the thing squarely in the face   
and made up their minds that they would 
run together in harness as two          
well-trained carriage horses1 both      
knowing of the pole1 both pulling at the
 collar and not over-straining the      
traces1 both taking pride in their high 

stepping and their unity of movement4   
,how much more dignified than to make a 
pitiful exhibition of incompatibility   
like two wild creatures kicking and     
plunging1 and finally upsetting the     
vehicle they had agreed to draw8  ,i    
would like to discuss now the problem of
 whether or not marriage could be made  
happy no matter how it starts1 by using 
common sense1 but the deep interest of  
the whole subject has made my pen       
already cover too much space and ,i must
 refrain in this chapter4  ,only1 men   
and women who read this1 do not pass it 
by1 but stop and think before you       
plunge1 through the giving and the      
taking of a wedding ring1 into happiness
 or misery4     ,,iv  ,,after ,,marriage
   ,considering the instability of all  
our tastes and desires and the almost   
total want of personal discipline which 
prevails in the present day1 it is      
really remarkable that the legal        
marriage goes on even as well as it     
does6--but that the state could be much 

happier is patent to any understanding1 
and it may be interesting to look at one
 or two aspects of it1 and see from     
whence comes the discord4 ,a woman      
enters into matrimony for various       
reasons1 but1 in the majority of cases  
in ,england and ,america at least1 it is
 because she is1 or fancies she is1 in  
love with the man at the time4 ,he1     
therefore1 if this is so1 starts with an
 enormous power over her1 which1 if he  
chooses to keep it1 will enable him to  
turn their future life in any way he    
will1 because the greatest desire even  
of the most strong-minded and           
domineering woman when in love is to    
please the man4 ,a woman only becomes   
indifferent as to whether or no she is  
doing this when she no longer cares4    
,therefore1 it is the man's business to 
keep her in this state if he wants his  
home to be happy4 ,the first thing for  
him to realise is that she cannot remain
 in love with him by her own will1 any  
more than she can cease to love him by  

her own will--these states are produced 
in her by something in himself4 ,and if 
he discontinues using the arts and      
attractions which awakened her love1 he 
cannot expect it to continue its        
demonstration1 any more than a kettle   
will go on boiling if the heat beneath  
is removed from it4 ,this argument1 of  
course1 applies to both sexes4          
,unfortunately1 in a great many cases of
 marriage1 the simple attraction of sex 
has been the unconscious motive which   
has caused the man to enter the bond1   
and naturally1 when he has gained his   
wishes he ceases to endeavour           
consciously to attract the woman4 ,and  
then one of two things happens2 either  
she grows to love him more for a time1  
because of that contrariness in human   
beings which always puts abnormal value 
upon the thing which is slipping out of 
reach--or she herself becomes           
indifferent2 and then it is a mere      
chance if they both1 or either of them1 
possess character and a sense of duty as

 to how the marriage goes along4 ,we    
will take the case of a union when both 
parties are in love when they start1 and
 really desire that their marriage      
should remain happy4 ,each ought to     
decide that he or she will do his or her
 uttermost to continue to put forth     
those charms which enchanted the mate   
before the ceremony4 ,no one would      
expect the bloom to remain upon grapes  
if he carelessly rubbed it off1 but both
 man and woman are extraordinarily      
surprised and disgusted when they find  
their partners are no longer in love    
with them1 and at once blame them for   
fickleness1 instead of examining        
themselves to see what caused this      
ceasing to care--what they did--or      
omitted to do--which made themselves no 
longer able to call forth love from     
their mates4 ,and until it can be       
grasped that all emotion of love is     
produced by something consciously or    
unconsciously possessed by the other    
person--and that it is not in the power 

of the individual to order himself to   
feel it1 or not to feel it1 but that    
only the demonstration of the state is  
in his power--unions will go on with    
mutual recriminations and the hitting of
 the heads against a stone wall4  ,some 
natures are naturally fickle and        
unstable--and no matter how good and    
sweet the partner may be1 they break    
away4 ,these cases are misfortunes1 but 
in analysing the facts the actual       
responsibility cannot be laid at the    
doors of such people1 since they could  
not by will have kept the sensation of  
love for their partners1 any more than  
by will they could have ceased to care  
for them4 ,they could only by will have 
been able to control the expression of  
their feelings4 ,i seem to be           
reiterating this point to the verge of  
tiresomeness1 but it is so vitally      
important to understand1 because its    
non-comprehension produces such         
injustice4 ,if ,john by his will were   
able to make himself remain in love with

 ,mary1 and failed to do so1 then she   
might have a right to blame him because 
he had sworn that he would at the altar4
 ,but as he cannot command his actual   
emotion1 she can only blame him for     
infidelity of the body1 since of that1  
at least1 it is possible he could be    
master4 ,but1 alas6 ,mary very seldom   
realises this1 and reproaches ,john for 
ceasing to feel loving towards her6     
which is as sensible on her part as to  
reproach him for the skies pouring rain4
 ,john1 on his side1 in like case does  
the same thing1 because he also has not 
understood the truth4 ,a valuable point 
for both to keep in remembrance is that 
the attraction of sex is the basis of   
all being in love4 ,however ennobled the
 emotion may become afterwards1 it      
always starts with that4 7,this fact is 
explained and elaborated in the         
conversation between the ,russian and   
the ,clergyman in my story1 ,the ,point 
of ,view47 ,if common sense is used in  
thinking about this matter1 it will be  

seen that if this was not the foundation
 of being in love the emotion would be  
calm1 and like that of brother and      
sister4 ,so1 admitting that this is the 
foundation1 it can be understood how    
important a part it plays in the        
happiness of two people bound together  
by law for life1 and how important it is
 to the woman to endeavor to continue to
 make herself lovable in the eyes of the
 man--and vice versa--it is of supreme  
importance to whichever of them cares   
the most4 ,when the thing starts        
equally1 the man nearly always cools the
 soonest1 because of his fundamental    
instincts1 and the force of satiation4  
,he then probably goes on liking his    
wife--perhaps he admires and respects   
her intellect1 but the thrill which used
 to come when her hand even touched his 
hand is no longer there1 and he only    
feels emotion towards her when he is in 
the mood1 which would make him feel it  
towards any woman who happened to be    
there at the moment4 ,and just in the   

measure that he was passionate towards  
his wife1 so he will be the easy or     
difficult prey of a new emotion4 ,and if
 this aspect of the case distresses the 
woman1 she must look to her guns--so to 
speak--and use the whole of her         
intelligence to regain her hold over his
 affection4 ,she will not improve       
matters by lamenting or reproaching the 
man4 ,if it does not distress her1 then 
she can congratulate herself that a time
 of peace has come6  ,a woman must face 
the fact that man is a totally different
 creature from herself1 governed by     
other instincts1 which can be best      
explained by realising them in animals  
in their boldest nature aspect1 i4e4 a  
male dog at times will tear down any    
barrier that is within his personal     
strength to enable him to get to his    
mate1 and a female dog will fight       
through unheard-of obstacles to reach   
her puppies4 ,here is a plain           
illustration of the different ruling    
original instincts in animals1 and human

 beings are only the highest form of    
animal1 given by ,god a more developed  
soul and a choice of action1 but still  
influenced by fundamental nature        
instincts1 which1 beneath all the       
training of civilisation1 unconsciously 
still direct their actions and affect   
their point of view4 ,civilisation1 on  
its good side1 teaches man to overcome  
his bodily desires and to keep them in  
check1 but not to eliminate them1 to do 
which would militate against the        
,creator's scheme of things4            
,civilisation on its evil side has      
frequently perverted woman's natural    
instinct1 so that in numbers of cases   
the wonderful devotion of the animal to 
her young has become numb in her1 or    
dead4 ,if only all women would bravely  
face these facts of nature instincts in 
themselves and in men1 they would       
approach marriage with much             
broader-minded views1 and would have a  
much greater chance of happiness1       
because they would realise that they    

must be lenient to man in the matter of 
his fidelity to them2 and if man        
realised these instincts1 he would enter
 marriage knowing he must make a fight  
with nature to keep the vows he has     
sworn1 and so he would be on his guard  
against the first inclination to stray1 
instead of an easy prey to it4 ,for1 as 
it is1 there is a recognised unwritten  
law among most men that honour must     
always be kept with the other woman1 but
 that it is not necessary with a wife4  
,a man's honour towards a woman is only 
certain of holding with his             
inclinations--that is3 ,a married to ,b 
will be unfaithful to her with ,c--which
 is technically dishonour4 ,he will not 
consider that1 but will tell any lie to 
protect ,c and stick to her1 because his
 sense of honour has gone with his      
inclination4 ,he feels he must never    
give away ,c to ,b1 although he         
experiences no qualm in having already  
tacitly given away ,b to ,c1 by his very
 part of taking ,c for his mistress4 ,b 

is also a woman1 but only his wife6 ,he 
has not been the least aware of it1 but 
his sense of honour has followed his    
inclination1 in a way it would never do 
over a business arrangement with another
 man4 ,to give a parallel case in a     
business arrangement3 ,a makes a bargain
 with ,b that he will deal with him     
alone2 he then finds he likes the goods 
of ,c better than those of ,b--but no   
honest tradesman would think of breaking
 his contract even secretly with ,b and 
dealing with ,c1 for1 if he did1 he     
would know himself that he was          
dishonest1 and that all his fellows who 
knew he had done this thing would       
despise and ostracise him4 ,but a man   
when deceiving his wife not only        
generally feels no shame himself1 but   
knows his male friends will probably not
 think the worse of him for it4 ,there  
is not the slightest use in arguing     
about these facts1 any more than1 as ,i 
said in my first paper upon marriage1   
there is in arguing about fundamental   

instincts1 and it would be well for     
women to realise this elastic1 unwritten
 law of honour in men towards them1 and 
so not expect1 at the present state of  
man's evolution1 that they will receive 
anything different4 ,they must never    
forget that this adjustable sense of    
honour springs from the same fundamental
 male instinct we spoke of--and         
therefore cannot be turned round by     
women and applied to their own cases1   
because the same instincts do not come  
into force with them4 ,woman must always
 remember that man is conquering        
primitive nature in being faithful to   
her at all1 and therefore she ought1 if 
she desires that he shall be so1 to look
 to her own every point of attraction to
 make it possible 7if not easy67 for him
 to fulfil her desire4 ,i must reiterate
 again that it is wiser to remember that
 it is civilisation alone 7civilisation 
embracing development of moral sense1   
and religious sense1 and the force of   
custom7 which keeps him from straying   

whenever he feels inclined1 and that all
 she can do to prevent it is to redouble
 her own attractions1 and to help the   
women of the future by instilling into  
her own sons' minds the idea that1 as   
marriage is an ideal and not a natural  
state1 the man who enters into it must  
be prepared to school himself to live up
 to an ideal1 and control his vagrant   
emotions4 ,to teach the boys a new and  
higher sense of honour is the only      
possible way to alter matters1 as a     
grown man is seldom changed4 ,in        
marriage1 both partners must understand 
that they are undertaking to do a most  
difficult thing in vowing to live       
together and love for ever6 ,whichever  
cares the most will have to use         
intelligence to keep the other--and if  
it is the woman who is unfortunate      
enough to occupy this position1 she     
generally absolutely sacrifices herself 
to gratify the man's smallest wish1 and 
so makes herself cheap4 ,she should use 
her wits and keep a firm hand over      

herself so as not to let herself become 
in his eyes of no importance4           
,selfishness is another basic instinct  
of man1 caused because he was originally
 and unquestionably ,lord of ,creation1 
and only in the countries where men are 
in the majority are the greater number  
of them unselfish even now to woman4 ,in
 ,england1 where women are in the       
majority1 selfishness in every male     
child is fostered from his cradle4 ,so  
women must not indiscriminately condemn 
every man as being selfish1 as though it
 was his personal fault2 they must look 
to the cause1 and condemn that if they  
want to1 or1 better still1 try to       
eradicate it in the future by           
influencing their own sons to desire to 
be chivalrous and unselfish to the woman
 of the next generation4 ,in this way   
they would help to raise the standard of
 honour and responsibility in humanity  
in general4  ,the most selfish man is   
not often selfish to the woman whom he  
is in love with4 ,while she excites     

these emotions1 however he shows his    
cloven hoof to the rest of the          
household1 he will not show it to her4  
,and even when he ceases to be in love1 
if his wife has filled him with respect 
and admiration for her1 he will hardly  
dare to exhibit his bad qualities4 ,you 
will see a man with the most odious     
character showing only the nicest ways  
to some particular person1 when he      
wishes to stand well with that person4  
,therefore1 to deal successfully with a 
selfish man1 it ought to be obvious to a
 woman that the only effectual method to
 employ is to seek to create in his mind
 the desire to please her4 ,if only men 
could understand that to be kind and    
courteous to their wives in the home    
would give them much greater liberty    
abroad1 they would greatly add to the   
happiness of most marriages4 ,it is her 
daily life which matters to a woman1    
because1 as a rule1 her brain is not    
developed enough to be looking ahead to 
the great questions of the day2 and to  

have joy in her home is her earthly     
paradise4  ,nearly all love marriages   
begin with too much emotion and too     
little self-control1 and so become      
shipwrecked upon the rocks of satiety   
and indifference4 ,young people         
undertake the most risky experiment in  
the world as lightly and unpreparedly as
 they would go on a summer holiday6  ,it
 must be understood that all these      
arguments are used from the standpoint  
of supposing the married pair start with
 love4 ,when they do not1 but are       
entering into a marriage simply from    
expediency1 their minds are generally   
calm1 they have no illusions1 and are   
therefore free to use that judgment     
which they would employ over any        
business affair of their lives1 and     
often1 therefore1 they get along very   
well4 ,but these cannot be considered as
 ideal marriages1 or likely to produce  
highly endowed children4 ,and in        
,england1 at least1 such unions are the 
exception and not the rule4  ,broadly   

speaking1 to make any marriage happy    
each partner ought deliberately to use  
every atom of his or her intelligence to
 think out the best method to live in   
sympathy with the mate1 and should not  
simply be set upon expressing his or her
 own personality1 regardless of the     
other4 ,chain any two animals together  
and watch the result6 ,nothing will     
teach what marriage means more          
effectually4 ,it is only when the two   
poor beasts are of one mind that their  
chains do not gall4 ,but human beings   
are above animals in this1 that they    
have wills and talents and aspirations1 
and can judge of good and evil1 so that 
their happiness or misery is practically
 in their own hands1 and to quote an    
immortal remark of a ,french writer--,if
 as much thought were put into the      
making a success of marriage as is put  
into the mixing of a salad1 there would 
be no unhappy unions6     ,v  ,,should  
,,divorce ,,be ,,made ,,easier8         
,however much some of us may feel that  

divorce can never touch our personal    
lives1 at least the question of it in   
regard to the nation must always be     
interesting2 and now1 with the ,majority
 and ,minority report of the ,royal     
,commission still ringing in every one's
 ears1 it seems a moment to suggest some
 points of view upon the matter4 ,to    
those people entirely influenced by     
religion as it is expounded from the    
laws laid down by the ,church1 there can
 be nothing to say1 because1 in the     
first place1 their belief in the        
infallibility of these laws and the     
influence of their pastors ought        
certainly to keep them from sinning at  
all2 and if sinned against1 ought to    
enable them to bear the pain without    
murmur4 ,but there are a vast number of 
our countrymen and women who do not     
consider the dogmas of religion and are 
not entirely imbued with respect for the
 laws of the ,church1 while nevertheless
 being good and honest citizens4 ,it    
depends upon each person's point of     

view4  ,in this paper1 as in my former  
ones upon ,marriage1 ,i want only to    
take the subject from the standpoint of 
common sense1 while with reverence ,i   
admit that if the moral conscience could
 be awakened by any religious           
convictions whatever1 so that it would  
keep each individual from sinning1 that 
would be the true solution of the       
problem4 ,but1 while seeking to enforce 
its laws in opposition to the laws of   
the ,state1 the teaching of the ,church 
seems somehow not to have been able to  
retain much hold over the general       
conscience which1 ever since the first  
secular law came into being1 has availed
 itself of the relief so afforded to    
free itself from galling shackles4 ,the 
point1 then1 to look at sensibly is not 
whether divorce is right or wrong in    
itself1 but what sort of effect the     
making of it easier or less easy would  
have upon the nation4 ,there does not   
seem to be the slightest use in applying
 any arguments to the subject which do  

not take into consideration the         
immeasurable upheaval in ideas1 manner  
of living1 relaxation of personal       
discipline1 and loss of religious       
control which have taken place since the
 last reform was made4 ,the luxury of   
existence1 the rapid movement from place
 to place permitted by motor-cars1 the  
emancipation of women1 the general      
supposed necessity of indulging in      
amusements1 have so altered all the     
notions of life1 and so excited and     
encouraged interest in sex              
relationships1 that the old idea of     
stability and loyalty in marriage is    
shaken to its foundations4 ,the         
temptations for people to err are now a 
thousand-fold greater than they were    
fifty years ago1 and very few young     
people are brought up with ideas of     
stern self-control at all4 ,this being  
the case1 it would seem that the only   
rational standpoint to view the question
 of divorce reform or divorce           
restriction from is the one which gives 

the vastest outlook over each side's    
eventuality1 realising present          
conditions and tendencies to be as they 
are1 and not as they were1 or ought to  
be4 ,the forces which produced these    
conditions are not on the decline1 but1 
if anything1 on the increase1 and must  
therefore be reckoned with and not      
ignored4 ,what are they likely to bring 
in the future8 ,still greater           
intolerance of all restraint1 still more
 desire for change8 ,and if this is so1 
will it have been wiser to have made the
 law harder or more lenient8 ,that is   
the question we shall soon1 as a people1
 have to try to decide4  ,in setting out
 to look calmly at the subject of       
divorce1 no good can be arrived at by   
studying isolated cases1 inasmuch as    
surely there can be no divided opinion  
upon the fact of the cruelty of some of 
them1 and the certainty of their        
betterment by divorce4 ,the one and only
 aim to keep in view is what will be    
best for the whole people1 and no other 

aspect should ever influence the true   
citizen in making up his mind upon so   
vital a question4 ,thus surely we ought 
each one of us to ask himself or herself
 to look ahead1 and try to imagine what 
would be the result to our nation of    
relaxing the severity of the present    
divorce law--or of increasing it4 ,of   
the effects of its present              
administration we can judge1 so it ought
 to be no impossible task to work from  
that backwards or forwards4  ,but to    
look at any subject dispassionately1    
without the prejudice of religion or    
personal feeling1 is one of the hardest 
things to accomplish4 ,these two forces 
always make people take views as        
unchangeable as the laws of the ,medes  
and ,persians1 regardless of totally    
altered conditions and requirements of  
mankind4 ,i hold a brief for neither    
side1 and in this paper ,i only want to 
suggest some points of view so as to    
help1 perhaps1 some others to look at   
the matter with justice1 as ,i have     

tried to look at it myself4 ,it would   
seem to me that divorce as a means of   
ridding oneself of one partner merely to
 be happier with another must surely    
always be wrong1 because it must entail 
the degradation of conscious personal   
motive1 in the knowledge that one had   
taken advantage of a law to gain an end1
 and to help one to break a vow solely  
for one's own gratification4 ,the       
enormous responsibility of so taking    
fate into their own hands would frighten
 most people1 if they gave themselves   
time to think--but they do not4         
,nine-tenths of them have no compunction
 in breaking vows1 because they do not  
realise that by making them they have   
connected themselves with currents and  
assumed responsibilities the            
consequences of which to themselves they
 cannot possibly eventually avoid1 no   
matter how they may try temporarily to  
evade them4  ,it would seem to me that  
divorce for the rich and educated should
 be made as difficult as possible1 and  

the pleas investigated mercilessly1 to  
discover if any advantage has been taken
 of legal quibbles for ulterior ends2   
but that the judge should grant decrees 
instantly when habitual drunkenness1    
madness1 or anything which degrades and 
lowers a household or community is      
proved against the defendant4 ,it would 
seem to me that divorces for the poor   
should be facilitated in every way1 if  
this difference to those of the rich    
could possibly be accomplished1 so that 
the hideous cruelty and encouragement of
 vice 7cases of which are so admirably  
set forth in the pamphlets issued by the
 ,divorce ,law ,reform ,union7 could be 
summarily dealt with1 and relief and    
peace conferred upon the innocent party4
 ,because the lives of the poor are too 
filled with work to be as easily        
influenced by personal emotion as the   
lives of the rich1 and the lower level  
of their education and standard of      
manners admits of such far greater      
unkindness and brutality in their       

actions than in a higher class2 and thus
 they are the more entitled by justice  
to relief and protection than the highly
 endowed and developed section of       
society who can better take care of     
themselves4 ,it seems to me to be a     
crying injustice that the law of divorce
 can only be administered by paying     
exorbitant fees for it2 and that if the 
separation of two human beings who are  
admittedly bound together by law can be 
accomplished by law and that the        
breaking of the marriage vow is a sin   
against the law1 then the poorest in the
 land have an absolute right that this  
law should be put into execution for    
them without special payment1 just as   
they have now a right to the ,law's     
working for them to catch offenders who 
steal their goods1 or who break business
 contracts with them4 ,it would seem    
that this is a frightful case of there  
being one law for the rich and one for  
the poor1 and that it is a blot upon the
 boasted equity and fairness of ,english

 justice4 ,how glorious it would be if  
all lawyers could be remunerated equally
 by the ,state6 ,it would do away with a
 thriving industry perhaps1 but it might
 be a great aid to real justice being   
arrived at1 and not as things now are1  
when whoever can pay the cleverest      
pleader has the best chance of winning  
the case4 ,but to get back to the views 
of divorce6  ,it would seem to me that  
the vital and essential question all    
persons wishing for divorce ought to ask
 themselves is1 ,what is my motive in   
desiring this freedom8 ,they should     
search their very souls for the truth4  
,if it is because the position has not  
only become intolerable to themselves1  
but is a menace to their children or    
society1 then they should know that they
 are acting rightly in trying their     
utmost to be free2 but if the real      
reason is that they may legally indulge 
in a new passion1 then they may be      
certain that if they take advantage of a
 law designed for the benefit of a race1

 and use it to their own baser ends1    
they are invoking most dangerous forces 
to militate against their own eventual  
unhappiness4 ,no one who is in a        
position where his or her good or bad   
example will be followed has any right  
to indulge in any personal feelings to  
the influencing in a harmful way of his 
or her public actions4 ,this is the true
 meaning of that finest of all old      
sayings1 ,noblesse oblige4 ,to me it    
would seem to be a frightful sin for a  
man or woman for personal motives to    
degrade an order or a community4  ,so   
this is the standpoint ,i would suggest 
every one looking at divorce from3 ,will
 the thing bring good or harm8--not to  
me who am only a unit1 but to that wider
 circle of my family and my country8    
,and if common sense assures him or her 
that no good can come of it1 then the   
true citizen should not hesitate to bear
 the pain of refraining4  ,it would seem
 to me to be wrong to allow any personal
 feeling at all to influence one to     

divorce1 no matter what the cruelty of  
the circumstances or the justice of the 
grievance one had1 if by so doing the   
children of the marriage were injured in
 any way1 or that the prestige of an    
order or the honour of a family were    
lowered by one's action2 but that were  
the husband or wife a shame and         
degradation to the children or the      
family1 the individual would be entirely
 justified in divorcing1 and would be   
helping the good of the ,state by       
preventing the guilty and debased       
partner from committing further harm4   
,common sense is always the truest      
wisdom1 but it has often unhappily had  
to be cloaked and hampered either by    
spiritual superstition1 prejudice1 or   
ignorance4 ,so that when a flagrant case
 which corrupts a whole neighbourhood   
cries aloud to common sense to remove it
 by divorce1 there are found hundreds of
 good and worthy people to oppose this  
on the ground that the ,church does not 
sanction such proceeding6 ,if the ,state

 religion administered by the ,church   
cannot inculcate higher principles in   
its members1 so as to prevent them from 
sinning1 it would obviously seem to be  
more fair to allow the statesmen and    
sociologists to have a free hand in     
their attempt to better the morality of 
,england than for the ,church to use the
 vast influence it still possesses to   
the stultifying of these plans4 ,the    
homely proverb of the proof of the      
pudding being in the eating seems to be 
plainly shown here4 ,the religious      
teaching has failed to influence the    
people to refrain from sin and to       
discountenance divorce1 proving that its
 method of imparting knowledge and      
obtaining influence over the modern mind
 is no longer effectual1 and common     
sense would suggest changing the method 
to ensure the desired end4 ,there is a  
story told of a ,french regiment in the 
early days of conscription4 ,a certain  
size of boots had been decided upon for 
recruits1 and this decision had worked  

very well when the young men were drawn 
from the town1 where the feet were      
comparatively small1 but when           
countryside youths became the majority1 
the boots they were given were an agony 
to them1 and constant complaints were   
the result1 with1 however1 no redress4  
,omnipotent head-quarters had decided   
the size6 ,and that was the end of it6  
,and it was not until nearly the whole  
regiment was in hospital with sore feet 
that it entered the brain of the        
officials that it might be wiser for    
,france to regulate the size of the     
boots of the regiment to the feet of the
 wearers4 ,why1 then1 cannot the ,church
 devote all its brain and force to      
evolving some new form of teaching which
 will1 so to speak1 fit the feet of the 
wearers8 ,then all questions of divorce 
could be settled by noble and exalted   
feeling and desire to do right and      
elevate the nation4 ,but meanwhile1 with
 the growth and encouragement of        
individualism1 every little unit is     

giving forth his personal view 7as ,i am
 doing in this paper671 perhaps many of 
them without the slightest faculty for  
looking ahead1 or knowledge of how to   
make deductions from past events1 or    
other countries' experiences2 and the   
,church is preaching one thing1 and the 
,state another1 the ,majority report    
taking a certain view1 and the ,minority
 a different one--and we are all at sea1
 and the supreme issue of it all seems  
to be fogged4  ,an enormous section of  
the public1 and almost all women it     
would seem1 are of opinion that divorce 
should be granted for the same reason to
 women as it is now to men4 ,but surely 
those who hold this view cannot         
understand that fundamental difference  
in the instincts of the sexes which ,i  
tried to show as forcibly as ,i could in
 my former articles upon ,marriage4     
,infidelity in man cannot be nearly such
 a degradation to his own soul as       
infidelity in woman must be to hers1    
because he is following natural impulses

 and she is following grafted ones4 ,a  
woman must feel degraded in her body and
 soul when she gives herself to two men 
at the same time1 a husband and a lover2
 but a man1 when he strays1 if it has   
any moral effect upon him at all1       
probably merely feels some twinges on   
account of breaking his word1 and the   
fear of being found out4 ,the actual    
infidelity cannot degrade him as much as
 it generally degrades a woman1 and may 
be only the yielding to strong          
temptation at a given moment1 and have  
no bearing upon the kind home treatment 
he accords his wife and children1 or the
 tenor of his domestic life4 ,the       
eventuality of what this law would bring
 should be looked at squarely4 ,and it  
is rather a pitiful picture to think of 
the entire happiness of a home being    
upset because a wife1 without judgment  
or the faculty of making deductions1    
discovering a single instance of illicit
 behaviour in her husband1 sees fit to1 
and is enabled by law1 to divorce him4  

,it may be argued that the fear of this 
would make him mend his ways2 but did   
fear ever curb strong natural instincts 
for long8--instincts as strong as       
hunger1 or thirst1 or desire to sleep8  
,fear could only curb such for a time1  
and then intelligence would suggest some
 new and cunning method of deceit1 so as
 to obtain the desired end4 ,the only   
possible way to ensure fidelity in a man
 is by influencing him to wish to remain
 faithful1 either by fond love for the  
woman or deep religious conviction or   
moral opinion that not to do so would   
degrade his soul4 ,the accomplishment of
 this end would seem to be either in the
 hands of the woman or in the teaching  
of the ,church--and cannot be brought   
about by law4 ,law can only punish      
offenders2 it cannot force them to keep 
from sin4 ,when a man is unfaithful     
habitually1 it amounts to cruelty1 and  
even with the present law the woman can 
obtain relief on that ground4  ,in      
looking at a single case of infidelity  

in a woman1 a man would be wise to      
question himself to see if he has not   
been in some measure responsible for    
it--by his own unkindness or            
indifference1 and in not realising her  
nature2 and if his conscience tells him 
he is to blame1 then he ought never to  
be hard upon the woman4 ,he ought also  
very seriously to consider the          
circumstances1 and whether or no his    
children or his family will be hurt by  
the scandal of public severance1 as they
 should be more important to him than   
his personal feelings4 ,tolerance and   
common sense should always hold wounded 
vanity and prejudice in check4 ,how     
often one sees happy and united old     
couples who in the meridian of their    
lives have each looked elsewhere1 but   
have had the good taste and judgment to 
make no public protest about the matter1
 and thus have given each other time to 
regain command of vagrant fancies and   
return to the fold of convention6  ,with
 so many different individual views upon

 the right and wrong of divorce1 it is  
impossible for either side--the divorce 
reform or the divorce restriction       
supporters--to state a wholly convincing
 case against the other4 ,the only      
possible way to view the general        
question is1 as ,i said before1 to keep 
the mind fixed upon the main issue1 that
 of what may possibly be best for the   
nation1 having regard to the            
ever-augmenting forces of luxury and    
liberty and democracy and want of       
discipline which are holding rule4      
,lack of space prevents me from trying  
to touch upon the numerous other moot   
points in divorce1 so ,i will only plead
 that1 when each person has come to a   
definite and common-sense conclusion1   
unclouded by sentiment or prejudice1 he 
or she may not hesitate to proclaim his 
or her conviction aloud1 so that the law
 of the land may be reorganised to the  
needs of present-day humanity and help  
it to rise to the highest fulfilment4   
,,vi  ,,the ,,responsibility ,,of       

,,motherhood   ,as far as the           
necessities for it go in the animal     
world1 nearly all animals have a very   
strong sense of the responsibility of   
motherhood--unless they have become     
over-civilised1 or live under unnatural 
circumstances4 ,a striking example of   
the consequences of the latter state of 
being is shown by ,barbara1 that        
thrillingly attractive ,polar bear in   
the ,zoo1 whose twelfth and thirteenth  
infants were only the other day         
condemned to follow their brothers and  
sisters to an early grave through their 
parents'--and especially their          
mother's--gross stupidity about their   
bringing-up and welfare4 ,and we who are
 human animals1 given by ,god conscious 
souls1 ought to realise the fact that   
civilisation and pampered environment   
have enormously blunted our natural     
instincts in this respect1 just as they 
have ,barbara's1 and so we should try to
 restore the loss by consciously        
cultivating our understanding of the    

subject and deliberately realising the  
tremendous responsibilities we incur by 
bringing children into the world4 ,when 
we think about the matter quietly1 the  
magnitude of it is almost overwhelming1 
and yet there are hundreds and thousands
 of women who never give it a serious   
thought6 ,they have some vague idea that
 to have children is the inevitable     
result of matrimony1 and that if they   
pay others to feed and clothe the little
 creatures1 and give them some          
instruction in the way that they should 
go1 their own part of the affair is     
finished4 ,that1 until a child is grown 
to an age to judge for itself1 the      
parents will be held responsible for    
their stewardship of its body and soul  
at the great tribunal of ,god does not  
strike them1 and it is only perhaps when
 the boomerang of their neglect has     
returned to them and blasted them with  
calamity that they become conscious of  
their past negligence4  ,in this article
 ,i do not propose to touch upon the    

father's side of the question1 important
 as it is1 but shall confine myself to  
the mother's1 because this has always   
been one of my deep preoccupations to   
think out the meaning of it all1 and how
 best to fulfil the trust4 ,obviously   
the sole aim of true motherhood is the  
moral and physical welfare of the child1
 and to accomplish this end we should   
understand that it is quite impossible  
to lay down any set rule1 or go by any  
recognised and unchangeable method4 ,for
 in one age certain precepts are taught 
which are obsolete in the next1 because 
science and the improvement of          
mechanical aids to well-being advance   
with such giant strides4 ,but if we keep
 the end in view it is simple enough to 
see that common sense and               
discrimination1 unclouded by custom or  
sentiment or superstition1 can          
accomplish miracles4 ,the circumstances 
of the particular case must always      
govern the method to be used in order to
 obtain the same given end1 no matter   

what the station in life of the parents4
 ,thus every mother1 from the humblest  
to the highest1 ought to think out how  
she can best procure her child moral and
 physical welfare according to her      
means4  ,in the lives of the very poor  
the only thing to be done for the       
betterment of the understanding of the  
responsibility of motherhood seems to be
 to teach the simplest rules of hygiene 
which animals know by instinct1 and     
after that for the ,state to take care  
of the children as much as possible4    
,for this very strange fact is in       
operation1 namely1 that while ,nature   
leaves an insatiable desire to create   
life1 she allows civilisation to rob    
human beings of instinctive knowledge of
 how to preserve it in its earliest     
stages1 and that the human mother is of 
all creation the only one entirely at   
the mercy of imparted knowledge as      
regards the proper treatment of her     
offspring4  ,into the conception of the 
duties of motherhood among the very poor

 we cannot go in this short paper--the  
subject is too vast--so we must confine 
ourselves to discussing those of a      
higher class where1 having the means to 
do well1 the responsibilities are far   
greater4 ,i want1 if ,i can1 to open a  
window1 as it were1 upon the outlook of 
the general responsibility of motherhood
 and let each class apply what it       
gathers of the meaning1 if it wishes1 to
 its own circumstances4  ,it is the aim 
and end of a thing which is of sole     
importance2 in this case the aim and end
 being the happiness and welfare of the 
child4 ,and that is the point which ,i  
want to harp upon1 the necessity of     
keeping the goal in view and of not     
wandering off into side issues4 ,it was 
for the sake of the end1 namely1        
obtaining happiness1 that ,i tried to   
show in my articles upon marriage how   
common sense might secure this desired  
state4 ,and it was to the end of what   
might be best for ,england that ,i      
pleaded for the necessity of using fair 

judgment over the question of           
facilitating or restricting divorce4    
,and it is now to the end of helping the
 coming race to be fine and true that ,i
 want to talk about the responsibility  
of motherhood4  ,let us take the subject
 from the very beginning4               
,,pre-,,natal ,,influences  ,the thought
 for the child should commence with the 
first knowledge of its coming birth4 ,a 
tremendous control of self1 and         
emotions1 and foolish habits1 and a     
stern command of nerves should be the   
prospective mother's constant effort1 as
 science has proved that all pre-natal  
influences have such powerful effect    
upon the child2 and1 surely1 if any     
woman stopped to think of the colossal  
responsibility she has undertaken in    
having become the vehicle to bring a    
soul from ,god to earth1 she would at   
least try to employ as much intelligence
 in the fulfilment of her obligation as 
she puts into succeeding in any of the  
worldly pursuits in life4 ,think of the 

hours some women spend in painful       
discipline by going through exercises to
 keep their figures young and their     
faces beautiful--the massage6 the cures6
 and the rests they take to this        
end--but who let their waiting time for 
motherhood be passed in a sort of       
relaxation of all control--getting into 
tempers1 indulging in nerves1           
over-smoking1 or tiring themselves out  
with excitement without one thought for 
the coming little one1 except as an     
inevitable necessity or a shocking      
nuisance4 ,during this period the wise  
woman ought to study such matters as    
heredity4 ,she ought to view the        
characteristics of her own and her      
husband's families1 and then firmly     
determine to counteract the             
objectionable features in them by making
 her own mind dwell upon only good and  
fine attributes for her child4 ,she     
ought to try to keep herself in perfect 
health by using common sense1 and1 above
 all1 she should determine to fight and 

conquer the nervous emotions which more 
or less beset all women at such time4   
,she ought to encourage happy and loving
 relations with her husband1 and try in 
every way to be in herself good and     
gentle and brave4 ,it is the most       
important moment in the whole of a      
woman's life for self-discipline1       
because of the prodigious results of all
 her moods and actions upon the child1  
and yet1 as ,i said before1 it is one of
 the commonest sights to see a woman who
 at other times is a very good sort of  
creature1 simply letting herself go and 
becoming an insupportable bore to her   
husband and the whole house1 with her   
perverseness and her nerves and her     
fads4  ,if they could analyse causes1   
what bitter reproaches many poor little 
diseased1 neurotic children might truly 
throw at their irresponsible mothers for
 endowing them with these evils before  
birth4   ,,the ,,case ,,of ,,two ,,women
  ,when the child is born--again it is  
only its welfare which should be thought

 of by the mother1 and not what custom  
or family opinion would enforce4 ,to me 
it seems that no mother ought to        
undertake any of the so-called duties of
 a mother that she is incapable of      
performing to the advantage of the      
child1 who would be better cared for by 
employing highly trained service4 ,she  
should only force herself to do her best
 in uncongenial tasks if circumstances  
make it impossible for her to obtain a  
better nurse or teacher for her infant  
than she herself could be4 ,she must    
constantly keep the end in view1 so as  
to stamp out prejudice and out-of-date  
methods2 especially she should guard    
against making the child suffer for her 
own fads and experiments4 ,i believe ,i 
shall better illustrate what ,i mean by 
keeping the end in view if ,i give a few
 concrete examples1 instead of trying to
 explain in the abstract4  ,here is one 
example4  ,there were two women of my   
acquaintance1 one of whom had an        
exquisitely obedient1 perfectly         

brought-up little girl of five who was  
her constant thought1 and a baby of two 
months4 ,this mother could afford an    
excellent nurse1 and left all the       
physical care of the infant to her1     
concentrating her intelligence upon wise
 general supervision1 and upon the      
training of the little girl whose       
dawning character was her study4 ,the   
other mother had two very ill-behaved1  
disobedient children of five and seven1 
and a baby of three months4 ,she spent  
her time washing and dressing the       
infant1 fussing over it and caressing it
 from morning to night1 and interfering 
with the paid nurse1 who well knew her  
duties4 ,she was also quite indifferent 
to her appearance1 and wearied her      
husband to death with her               
over-domesticity4 ,but she felt herself 
to be a perfect and affectionate wife   
and mother1 and strongly censured the   
other woman when she admitted that she  
had never washed or dressed her baby1   
and was even rather nervous when she    

held it in case she should hurt its     
tender neck and head4 ,but the proof    
that the first woman was a true and good
 guardian of ,god's gift to her was in  
the finely trained little girl1 and the 
proof of the second woman's             
undevelopment from the animal stage was 
in her concentrated and1 in the         
circumstances1 unnecessary preoccupation
 with the infant1 to the entire neglect 
of the character training of the elder  
children4 ,had they both been so poor   
that actual physical care of the infants
 devolved solely upon each mother1 the  
first would have used all her           
intelligence to discover the sensible   
and common-sense way to carry out her   
duties1 and the second would have       
continued using any obsolete method she 
had been accustomed to1 while she       
lavished silly fuss and attention upon  
the baby4   ,,fore-,,thought ,,for      
,,beauty  ,the first woman had the end  
in view2 the second did not look ahead  
at all1 but simply indulged her own     

selfishly animal instincts1 without a   
thought of what would be best for her   
child4  ,the apparently good mothers    
might be divided into two classes--the  
animal mothers and the spiritual        
mothers4 ,the animal mothers are better 
than indifferent1 and therefore         
abnormal1 mothers1 but are far below    
spiritual mothers1 for they1 the animal 
mothers1 are only obeying natural       
instincts which have happily survived in
 them1 but obeying them only as animals 
do1 without reason or conscience4 ,and  
the spiritual mother uses her common    
sense and tries to secure the continual 
welfare of her child1 looking ahead for 
all eventualities1 from matters of      
health to personal appearance1 as well  
as character training and soul          
elevation4  ,numbers of women think that
 if they follow out the same lines of   
bringing-up for their children as are   
the recognised ones employed by their   
class they have fully done their duty1  
and that if the children do not profit  

by the stereotyped lessons of religion  
and behaviour that have been imparted to
 them by proper teachers it is the fault
 of the children1 and a misfortune which
 they1 the mothers1 must bear with more 
or less resignation4  ,but indeed this  
is not so4  ,let us take a spiritual    
mother's duties in rotation1 beginning  
with the most material4 ,after bringing 
into the world the healthiest infant her
 common sense has been able to secure1  
she should guard against any physical   
disability accruing to it that she can  
prevent4 ,in all matters of health she  
should either make a great study of the 
subject herself1 or employ trained aid  
to its accomplishment2 but beyond this  
there are other things which1 if she    
neglects them1 the boy or girl could    
reproach her for afterwards and with    
reason4 ,one is the fore-thought for    
beauty4 ,how many boys' whole personal  
appearances are ruined by standing-out  
ears6 ,how many little girls'           
complexions are irretrievably spoilt by 

unsuitable soap having been used which  
has burnt red veins into their tender   
cheeks4 ,these two small examples are   
entirely the fault of the mother and do 
not lie at the door of uncorrected      
habits in the children themselves4 ,no  
boy's ears need stick out2 there are    
caps and every sort of contrivance      
yearly being improved upon to obviate   
this disfigurement4 ,no girl need have  
anything but a beautiful skin if her    
mother uses intelligence and supervises 
the early treatment of it4 ,because if  
she has the end in view1 the mother will
 know that her little boy or girl will  
probably grow up and desire affection   
and happiness1 and that beauty is a     
means not to be discounted to obtain    
these good things1 and1 for the securing
 of them1 is relatively as important as 
having a well-endowed mind4   ,,the     
,,spiritual ,,mother  ,when the first   
dawning characteristics begin to show1  
the spiritual mother's study of heredity
 will begin to stand her in good stead1 

for she must never forget that every    
expressed thought and action of a small 
child shows the indication of some      
undeveloped instinct1 and should be     
watched by a sensible mother1 so that   
she may decide which one to encourage   
and which one to curb1 and1 if possible1
 eradicate4 ,should there be some strong
 inherited tendency which is not good1  
then her most careful care and influence
 will be needed4 ,there is not the      
slightest use in making rules and then  
leaving their enforcement to servants   
and governesses--the true mother should 
see that her child thoroughly           
understands what it is being asked to   
do1 and why it is being asked to do it4 
,she should appeal to its intelligence  
from earliest days1 and make it         
comprehend it is for its own benefit4   
,for children cannot when very young be 
influenced by high moral considerations 
which come with maturer years1 but only 
by personal gain or fear--and if ruled  
by fear they invariably become          

deceitful4 ,it is a spiritual mother's  
business to show interest in all her    
child's tastes and occupations1 and to  
supervise and direct them into the best 
channels1 and if she has several        
children she should watch each one's    
idiosyncrasies and not imagine that the 
same method will do for them all4 ,what 
good gardener would treat a rose-tree in
 the same fashion which he does a tulip 
bulb8 ,the spiritual mother should think
 out for herself1 guided by what she    
sees are their personal needs1 the best 
method of instructing her children in   
true morality--that is1 honour and      
truth1 and freedom from all hypocrisy   
and deceit4 ,she should not be          
influenced by any set-down rules of     
religion or dogma1 or by any precepts   
she may have been taught herself in her 
youth1 if they no longer convey         
conviction because of the change in     
time1 otherwise she will be following   
custom and losing sight of the end4 ,she
 should make her children understand    

that the soiling of their own souls by  
committing mean actions is the greatest 
sin1 and that what other people think or
 do not think of them is of no          
consequence1 but the only vital things  
are what ,god thinks and they think of  
themselves4 ,hundreds of children's     
afterlives are shipwrecked because they 
were only taught all the dry dogmas and 
seemings of religion1 and the real      
meaning was never explained to them4 ,i 
know a rigorously strict clergyman's    
family where the children are taught and
 conform to all the observances of their
 father's church1 and yet a falser1 more
 paltry set of young creatures could not
 be found--they have never had it       
explained to them that it is impossible 
to hoodwink ,god4 ,for a perfect example
 of the religious spirit not to employ  
towards children1 all mothers ought to  
read the immortal scene between ,trilby 
before she dies and ,mrs4 ,bagot--when  
the narrow woman expresses her puny     
views and ,trilby puts forth her broad  

and true ones4 ,it is so incredibly     
stupid to use obsolete methods which can
 never obtain the desired end just      
because the dominion of custom is still 
strong upon us1 and we have not been    
intelligent enough to grasp and benefit 
by the spirit of the age4 ,for all      
mothers must realise that they can never
 dominate the spirit of the age1 and    
must either make vain fights with it1   
and be conquered to their loss1 or must 
make terms with it and use it in its    
brightest and best aspect4 ,the spirit  
of this age is a totally different one  
to the spirit of their own childhood's  
age4 ,it is shorn of reverence and      
unquestioning obedience to elders1 and  
is an independent creature who will only
 obey through conviction of good or     
personal benefit4 ,children are unerring
 and pitiless judges of those placed    
over them1 and how can a mother1 just   
because she is a mother1 expect respect 
and reverence in her children if she    
earns their contempt by her conduct and 

selfishness8  ,it is the spiritual      
mother's duty to instil chivalry towards
 the other sex into her little sons from
 earliest years1 by making them polite  
to herself and to their sisters4 ,she   
should1 before they go to school and    
when they return for the holidays1      
endeavour to influence them into liking 
cleanliness and care of their persons1  
especially when with ladies4 ,she should
 try to make these little men so happy  
and contented1 so certain of sympathy   
and understanding that home spells      
heaven for them and remains the dearest 
memory of their lives1 and for her      
little girls1 over whom she has a far   
vaster influence1 she should polish     
their minds1 explain all the true and   
pure principles of life--teach them the 
value of self-control and self-respect1 
and watch for and encourage all their   
graces1 so that when they arrive at the 
ages of seventeen and eighteen they may 
be fitted in all points to shine in     
whatever world they belong to1 and take 

their places among the best of their    
class4 ,space forbids me to go on       
longer1 although the subject seems only 
just to have been begun1 so large is its
 sphere of action1 but ,i must give one 
last concrete example of two women's    
methods1 to enforce my meaning of the   
importance of the end4  ,both sent their
 girls to the same school1 where every  
accomplishment was taught and the       
highest tone prevailed that the masters 
could inculcate4 ,the first mother      
showed deep interest in the holidays1 in
 all her child's lessons1 directed and  
encouraged her1 opening her             
understanding and broadening her point  
of view1 while she attended to every    
physical grace4 ,she explained how her  
child should apply the knowledge she    
acquired during term1 so that it should 
grow interesting1 and as far as it lay  
in her power she endeavoured that her   
daughter should be fitted with every    
charm and attraction which could procure
 for her later on a larger selection    

from which to choose her partner in     
life4 ,the other mother let her girl run
 wild during the holidays1 and allowed  
her to feel that all she learned was    
just an irksome duty to be forgotten the
 moment school was over4 ,her           
appearance1 her gentle manners1 her     
refinement1 her point of view1 were all 
left to take their own chance1 from the 
mistaken idea that it would encourage   
vanity and egotism in the girl to       
discuss these things with her--and that 
she1 the mother1 had done all that was  
required of her in simply providing a   
good education6 ,this second mother had 
completely lost sight of the end1 you   
see1 and was unconsciously only thinking
 of herself and not of her child at all4
  ,and this--to think of the welfare of 
the child and allow no other point to   
obscure this--is the whole meaning of   
the responsibility of motherhood4       
,,vii  ,,the ,,responsibility ,,of      
,,motherhood4 ,,second ,,paper   ,what  
,i always wish to impress upon the      

readers who are kind enough to be       
interested in the articles which ,i     
write is to keep the end aimed at in    
view4 ,so in this second paper upon the 
responsibility of motherhood1 ,i must   
begin by reiterating this necessity4    
,no mother has a right to drift and     
trust to chance for the welfare of her  
children1 and however they develop1 for 
good or ill1 she must in greater or     
lesser degree be held responsible4  ,the
 period when animals cease all interest 
in and care for their offspring only    
commences when these latter can safely  
be left to look after themselves2 and so
 it should be with human beings4 ,but1  
judging the ages relatively of animals  
and mankind1 numbers of human mothers   
entirely neglect their progeny long     
before they have come even to the       
fledgling stage6 ,how often in society  
one sees women of forty-five and younger
 with daughters of fifteen to twenty1   
about whose real characters and souls   
they know nothing6 ,they have always    

been too busy with their own personal   
interest to give the time and sympathy  
required for a real mother's            
understanding of her children4 ,servants
 and governesses have been the directors
 through the most critical period of the
 girls' lives1 and it is merely a piece 
of luck if they have imbibed no ill from
 them4  ,there are numbers of worthy and
 innocent women married to men whose    
characters have certain forcible and    
unpleasant traits1 which are more than  
likely to be reproduced in their        
children1 but from the limited education
 these good creatures have received1 and
 the absence of all habit of personal   
analysation of cause and effect1 they   
never realise that it is their bounden  
duty to be on the lookout for the first 
signs of the hereditary traits          
appearing1 and the necessity for using  
special care and influence to counteract
 them4  ,a woman 7unless too vain7 knows
 very well her own failings and her own 
good qualities1 and can1 if she is wise1

 suppress or encourage them when they   
show in her children2 but she cannot    
trace the characteristics of remote     
ancestors1 or even be certain of what   
her husband has on his side endowed     
their joint offspring with1 so her duty 
is to be on the watch from the very     
commencement1 and to use her            
intelligence as she already uses it in  
every ordinary affair in life4  ,people 
of even the most mediocre understanding 
are quite sensible enough to select the 
right implements to carry on any work   
that they have undertaken4 ,a woman     
about to sew a fine piece of muslin does
 not dash haphazard into her work-basket
 and pick out any needle which comes    
first1 and any thread1 coarse or fine1  
which is handy4 ,she would know very    
well that her work would be a sorry     
affair if she did so1 and that1 on the  
contrary1 she must choose the exact     
fineness of both thread and needle to   
sew this particular bit of stuff        
satisfactorily1 the ones she may have   

employed an hour before upon firm cloth 
being of no use for muslin4  ,she is    
keeping the end in view4   ,,looking    
,,ahead  ,but countless numbers of      
mothers never understand that any       
different method is necessary with      
different children2 they just go on in  
the old way they have been taught when  
young themselves1 if they trouble at all
 about the matter4  ,every woman who has
 a child ought to ask herself these     
questions3 ,who is responsible for this 
child being in the world8 ,am ,i and my 
husband responsible1 or is the child    
responsible itself8 ,the answers are    
ridiculously obvious1 and1 when         
realised1 the remembrance of them should
 entail grave obligations upon the      
parents4  ,the mother should look ahead 
and try to determine whether or no what 
seems to be showing as the result of the
 ideas of up-bringing in the past       
fifteen years is good or bad4  ,the main
 features of that system being the      
relaxation of all discipline and the    

cessation of the inculcation of         
self-control1 because the standards     
suddenly became different4 ,formerly1 to
 perform ,duty 7spelt with a big ,d67   
was the only essential matter in life1  
and to obtain happiness was merely a    
thing by the way4 ,in the past fifteen  
years the essential goal sought after   
has been happiness1 and duty has been   
merely the thing by the way4 ,but a very
 large number of the mothers of ,england
 have not perhaps begun to develop      
sufficient scope of brain to enable them
 to judge what will eventually bring    
happiness2 they can only see the        
immediate moment1 and to indulge their  
children's every desire seems to be the 
simplest way4 ,but they forget that     
during this short and impressionable    
stage of life all strength and          
will-power and self-control ought to be 
enforced and encouraged1 to enable the  
loved children to withstand hardships   
and to attract happiness in the long    
after years4 ,a mother should ask       

herself if it is worth while1 in        
securing a joyous and irresponsible     
childhood and adolescence1 to leave her 
children at the end of them unarmed and 
at the mercy of every adverse blast4    
,the great dangers which seem to be     
resulting from the system of upbringing 
in the last fifteen years are that at   
seventeen or eighteen most young people 
are satiated with pleasure and blase    
with life1 while they have no definite  
aim or end of achievement in view1 and  
absolutely no sense of duty or          
responsibility to the community4   ,,the
 ,,first ,,obligation  ,it would seem to
 me that a mother's first obligation is 
to enforce discipline1 and to teach     
self-control from the earliest infancy  
with the fondest loving care1 and to    
transmit that sense of responsibility   
for noble citizenship into her children 
which should have been her own guiding  
star4  ,but1 again1 to do so she must   
not employ obsolete methods without     
taking into account the spirit of the   

age which has aroused a sense of        
personal liberty in the youngest child1 
and makes it refuse to accept rules and 
regulations on trust4 ,it must be       
convinced that they are for its good1 or
 it will only bow to them by fear1 learn
 to deceive1 and remain rebellious and  
determined at the first opportunity to  
throw off the yoke and go its own way4  
,i will give a concrete case of what ,i 
mean upon this point1 to show how even a
 good woman can misunderstand the real  
meaning of the responsibility of        
motherhood1 and by her method of        
upbringing can allow misfortune to fall 
upon her young family4  ,here is a lady 
of the highest rank1 who comes of a     
steady and worthy stock1 and who has    
been brought up herself strictly and    
well4 ,she marries a man of great       
position1 but with rather wild blood in 
his veins4 ,she has no modern ideas of  
only desiring a small family2 she wishes
 to and intends to do her duty to her   
state1 and is by no means set upon      

personal amusement4  ,as the years go on
 she becomes the mother of four boys and
 two girls4 ,she engages the best nurses
 for them1 and1 later on1 the best      
governesses and tutors4 ,the children   
are taught their catechism on ,sundays  
and are drilled as those of their class 
into having good outward manners and    
behaviour4 ,they are given orders       
without explanations1 which they are    
expected to obey unquestioningly1 and   
they are duly punished when they are    
disobedient4 ,they see their parents at 
stated hours each day1 and are seemingly
 a well-regulated and satisfactory young
 brood4  ,the good woman and great      
lady's time is naturally much occupied  
with social duties1 and duties to her   
husband's tenants1 and to various       
charities and good works in which she is
 interested4 ,she fulfils all these     
admirably1 and is generally held in     
affection and respect4 ,all the children
 have been treated exactly the same by  
her1 although she knows that her husband

 has a dishonourable1 gambling1         
scapegrace brother who has had to be    
sent to ,australia1 and that her husband
 himself has had tastes1 the reverse of 
orthodox where his emotions were        
concerned1 though happily he has not    
jeopardised the family fortunes as his  
brother would have done had he been     
head4 ,all the children have been so    
well brought up and instructed in the   
tenets of the ,church that she feels    
quite placid and sure that she has done 
all that could be expected of her1 and  
is horribly surprised and distressed    
when disasters presently occur4 ,she    
looks upon them as the will of ,god and 
fate1 but feels in no way to blame      
personally4   ,a ,,hatred ,,of          
,,preaching  ,it had never struck her   
intelligence that boys with such        
heredity in them should have been       
specially influenced and directed from  
earliest youth towards ideas of the     
finest honour and proudest              
responsibility in keeping unblemished   

their ancient name2 that all the        
stupidities and follies of gambling     
should have been pointed out to them2   
that the certain temptations which are  
bound to beset the path of those in     
their position should have been fully   
explained to them--all this done in a   
simple1 common-sense fashion which would
 convince their understanding4 ,she had 
never thought that it would be wise to  
make them clearly comprehend why they   
should try to resist bad habits and     
youthful lusts of the flesh--not so much
 from the point of view that such things
 are sins1 as because science and       
experience have shown that the          
indulgence in them spoils health and    
brain and pleasure in manhood4 ,boys are
 creatures full of common sense1 and    
their education in public schools       
broadens and helps their understanding  
of logical sequences1 if only things are
 explained to them without mystery and  
too much spiritual emphasis being put   
upon them4 ,they so hate being preached 

at6 ,no young1 growing person in normal 
animal health and spirits can be guided 
and coerced to resist the desires of the
 body solely by religious and moral     
teaching2 he must have some definite    
reward and gain upon this earth held out
 to him as well2 there must be some     
tangible reason for abstinence to       
convince his imagination and strengthen 
his will4 ,and the gain he is offered if
 he resists certain temptations is that 
he will grow strong and powerful1 and   
the better able1 when his judgment is   
ripe enough to discriminate properly1 to
 enjoy real pleasures later on4 ,when   
the adolescent spiritual self begins to 
rule him1 then the moral point can be   
more forcibly pressed home2 but it is   
quite futile while he is at the growing 
animal stage4  ,our good and highly     
placed mother of whom we are speaking   
has never thought of any of these laws  
of cause and effect1 as applied to her  
own nearest and dearest1 although she is
 accustomed to think out schemes for the

 betterment and development of her      
,girls' ,friendly societies1 or for     
furthering her husband's political      
interests in the country4   ,,inherited 
,,character  ,she sees good little      
well-behaved daughters coming down in   
the children's hour and receives        
favourable reports from the governesses1
 and has no idea1 or even any           
speculation about what strange and new  
thoughts and emotions may be commencing 
to germinate in their brains4 ,mildred  
has perhaps inherited her father's      
volage nature where the other sex are   
concerned1 and early shows tendencies   
which ought to be sympathetically       
checked and directed4 ,catherine has got
 a strong touch of ,uncle ,billy's      
unscrupulousness1 and is often deceitful
 and scheming1 with a wonderful aptitude
 for the nursery dominoes and other     
games of chance4 ,but both1 taught by   
,fraulein or ,mademoiselle--and that    
good old ,nurse ,timson6--only show     
their mother their sweetest side when in

 her company1 and are meek1 well-behaved
 little mice1 influenced to be thus not 
from any moral conviction--because if   
that were so they would be good at all  
times as well--but swayed by the certain
 knowledge of personal physical gain if 
they make a good impression upon mother1
 and certain punishment and             
unpleasantness from the governesses if  
they do not4 ,all goes along smoothly   
until the rising sap of nature begins to
 dominate their lives2 then some outward
 and visible sign of their inherited    
tendencies begins to show1 the force    
causing its expression being stronger   
for the time than any other thing4  ,one
 of the boys gambles1 and goes to the   
,jews for money4 ,the eldest son and    
heir1 who has never had the wiles of    
women revealed and explained to him1 or 
the temptations which are bound to be   
thrust upon him because of his great    
position in the world pointed out to    
him1 succumbs to the fascinations and   
falls into the snares of a cunning      

chorus girl4 ,our good mother and great 
lady has steadily avoided even admitting
 that there can be sex questions in     
life1 and has rigorously banished all   
possible discussion of them as not being
 a subject which should be talked of in 
any nice family4 ,she has never given   
any especial teaching to arouse pride in
 his old name in her eldest son1 or     
impressed the great responsibility there
 is in the worthy guardianship of the   
fine position ,god has endowed him with4
 ,he has just been allowed to drift with
 the rest1 and1 unwarned and unarmed1   
has fallen in the first fight with his  
physical emotions4   ,,instincts        
,,unchecked  ,a third son is apparently 
the darling of the gods2 he is full of  
charm4 ,but1 fearing that the gambling  
propensities of his second brother      
should come out in him also1 his parents
 keep him with special strictness and   
very short of money4 ,the same absence  
of all explanations of the meaning of   
things has been his portion as well as  

that of his brothers and sisters4 ,he   
has never been enlightened as to the    
possible workings of heredity1 and shown
 how that as the vice of gambling is in 
the blood it will require special       
will-power to overcome it4 ,none of     
these things has been pointed out to    
him1 and so1 being restive at restraint 
and worried for money1 he soon slips    
into easy ways1 and often allows women  
to help him in his difficulties4 ,uncle 
,billy's instincts and his own father's 
have combined in him4 ,both could have  
been checked and diverted into sane     
channels with loving foresight and      
knowledge and sympathy4  ,the fourth son
 goes early into the ,navy1 and the     
discipline and the inheritance of his   
mother's more level qualities turn him  
into a splendid fellow2 but this is mere
 chance1 and cannot be counted as       
accruing from his mother's care4  ,here 
is a case where every outward           
circumstance seemed to be propitious1   
and where both parents were good and    

respected members of their class and    
race4 ,but neither had the intelligence 
to realise an end1 or consciously to    
keep it in view2 they were solely ruled 
by tradition and what seemed to         
them--especially the mother--to be the  
proper and well-established religious   
methods for the bringing up of their    
children4 ,so the remorseless laws of   
cause and effect rolled on their        
,juggernaut car and crushed the victims4
  ,now1 if this mother had had the      
end--that of her children's happiness   
and welfare--really in view1 she would  
have questioned herself as to the best  
methods of obtaining that end1 and would
 not have been content just to go on    
with the narrow ideas which had held    
sway in her own day1 and which had      
perhaps then succeeded very well1       
because1 as ,i said before1 they were   
aided by the two forces now             
stultified--namely1 a tremendous        
discipline and a spirit of the age which
 brought no suggestion of a struggle for

 personal liberty to young minds4 ,had  
she thought out all these things1 she   
would have understood the               
responsibilities of motherhood in their 
real sense1 and not only in the sense   
which the outward appearance judges     
good4 ,she would have poured love and   
sympathy on each one of her children    
separately and individually1 since she  
was the half-cause of their coming to   
earth4 ,she would have studied each     
one's character1 and with determined    
concentration have inculcated the       
necessary pride in fine actions in them1
 knowing what their pitfalls would be   
likely to be4 ,she would have taught the
 simple religion of respect for the loan
 ,god has made in giving their bodies a 
soul1 and she would have watched for    
possible signs of ill1 and would finally
 have guided each one through the       
dangerous age on to the time when every 
man and woman must answer for himself   
and herself4  ,heredity is sometimes    
stronger than even the wisest bringing  

up2 but who can say how many families   
might not have been saved and kept      
together by a prudent and understanding 
mother's love8  ,there is a story1 which
 exactly illustrates the point of the   
importance of keeping the end in view1  
told of the ,iron ,duke in the          
,peninsular ,war4 ,i cannot remember the
 exact details1 and they are of no      
consequence4 ,the point is this3 ,there 
was a certain tremendously obstinate    
,spanish general whom the ,duke 7then   
,sir ,arthur ,wellesley7 found very     
difficult to lead4 ,the moment had      
arrived when it was absolutely necessary
 for success that this general should   
move his troops to a certain position4  
,he was a man filled with his own       
importance1 and he refused huffily to do
 so unless the ,english chief went down 
upon his knees to him6  ,the ,iron ,duke
 is reported to have replied to this    
message in some such words as these3    
,good ,lord6 the winning of the day is  
the essential thing1 not the resisting  

of the man's vanity6 ,i'll go down upon 
my knees with pleasure if that will make
 him move his troops6 ,he did1 and the  
,spanish general conceded the request   
and the day was won4  ,the great        
commander and astute ,englishman had the
 end in view1 you see1 whereas the      
lesser brain of the ,spaniard would have
 sacrificed the battle for a personal   
whim1 having lost sight1 in his vanity1 
of the importance of the main issue4    
,how many parents do this day after day 
and year after year1 clinging to        
obsolete methods1 trying to rule by     
worn-out precepts1 all because--when you
 come to analyse it--their own sense of 
importance really matters to them more  
than their children's welfare1 and no   
one has opened their eyes to see        
themselves and their actions in the true
 light4  ,although the case which ,i    
have just given of the seemingly good   
mother was drawn from the highest class1
 and so at first sight might not be said
 to apply to lesser grades1 yet ,i want 

to show that this is not so1 but that   
the same principle applies to the most  
modest little family4  ,every mother    
should study how best she can develop   
and elevate the souls which by her own  
part-action she has brought into being1 
and make that aim her first thought--for
 surely the satisfaction of the feeling 
that one has succeeded in training one's
 own children to high ideals and the    
attainment of happiness would be greater
 in old age than any gratification from 
the acquirement of social supremacy or  
realised personal ambitions4  ,i would  
implore every mother1 of any class1     
ruthlessly to reject all the rules which
 she has been taught for the guidance of
 her family1 unless she has proved with 
common sense that they can be profitably
 applied to each particular case4 ,i    
would ask her to keep to no transmitted 
axiom1 unless it comes up to the        
requirements of the ever-changing and   
ever-advancing day4 ,there is only one  
unchangeable and immutable command which

 we should follow1 and this is that we  
should not soil our souls1 or render    
them up to ,god degraded and smirched   
when we go hence upon that journey from 
whence no man returneth4  ,in summing up
 both my articles upon the              
responsibility of motherhood1 ,i find   
that in this second one ,i have made two
 statements which might read as         
contradictions4 ,firstly1 ,i spoke of   
young people requiring personal gain to 
be held out to them as a reason for     
committing1 or refraining from          
committing1 certain actions2 and then1 a
 paragraph or two afterwards1 ,i gave   
the illustration of the little girls'   
good behaviour to their mother as being 
only caused by the fact that it was more
 to their advantage so to behave4 ,what 
,i meant to show was that while boys are
 young and full of the rising impulses  
of nature they very rarely can have     
acquired sufficient spiritual belief to 
make them refrain from indulging in     
certain pleasures--or what seem         

pleasures to them--merely because they  
have been told these pleasures are      
wrong4 ,for instance1 on the subject of 
smoking4 ,what boy will stop smoking by 
being told it is wrong and that he is   
sinning by his disobedience8 ,but there 
are many intelligent ones who will not  
indulge in it if it is explained to them
 that smoking will stop their growth and
 make them less likely to succeed in the
 cricket eleven1 or1 later1 in the      
college eight4 ,at that period the mind 
cannot look into unseen worlds1 and is  
mainly occupied with realities from day 
to day1 and therefore is more likely to 
be influenced by a simple explanation of
 what physical harm or what good in the 
immediate future will be the result of  
actions4  ,the little girls' behaviour  
to their mother is really an example of 
this same rule1 only the principle for  
their action was not good1 being merely 
temporary and strictly limited gain1 and
 not that they should1 as in the case of
 the boys1 grow into fine1 strong and   

healthy people1 more able to enjoy life 
in the future4  ,there is another       
statement which ,i have constantly made 
which possibly might be twisted or      
misunderstood1 and that is the one of   
the importance of the end4 ,there are   
people who would turn it into the       
,jesuitical motto of ,the end justifies 
the means4 ,that is not what ,i wished  
to convey at all1 but that if an end is 
good--and the main object1 admittedly1  
is to obtain it--then there is no use in
 using methods which once might have    
accomplished this1 but which no longer  
are practical because of the changed    
conditions1 and if continued in will    
only lose all possibility of success4   
,how many fathers and mothers in past   
days have driven their offspring to     
disgrace and even death by adhering to  
harsh1 ,puritanical systems1 out of date
 even at that time6 ,and how many more  
to-day let them slip into the same      
abysses by their too indulgent rule6    
,as ,i have said1 over and over again1  

the proof of any pudding is in the      
eating of it2 so let every mother       
examine her methods with her children by
 this standard3 ,are the children       
developing in moral and physical welfare
 by those which she is using1 or are    
they retrogressing8 ,is she employing   
tact to guide their young fierce        
spirits1 or is she trying to crush them 
by old-fashioned rules8  ,questions such
 as these ought to be honestly asked by 
each mother of herself1 and if the      
answer proves that retrogression is in  
progress1 then she should not be so     
incredibly stupid as to continue in her 
old lines1 but should examine herself   
and see how she can find the right new  
ones for her particular cases4 ,la      
,rochefoucauld was wise when he said    
that vanity was at the root of most     
human mistakes4 ,if a woman is not      
willing to undertake the true           
responsibility of motherhood1 then she  
had far better be that sad thing which  
is a growing quantity in modern         

civilisation1 namely1 a childless wife  
devoted to dogs4 ,hundreds of selfish1  
neurotic females show the utmost        
unselfish devotion to wretched little   
pet animals1 when the slightest         
self-denial asked of them for little    
human atoms is more than they can       
accord4 ,what does this mean8 ,is it a  
writing upon the wall8