,transcrib]s ,notes3 ,title & ,table (  
,cont5ts add$4          99       99     
99       99       99      ,,! ,,idl]    
,,magaz9e4  ,,an ,,illu/rat$ ,,mon?ly4  
,m>* #ahic4          99       99        
99       99       99      ,,cont5ts4    
,,! ,,lyceum ,,rehe>sals4      ,,by ,g4 
,b4 ,,burg94   ,a ,,bless+ ,,disguis$4  
,,by ,f4 ,w4 ,,rob9son4   ,,lions ,,9   
,,_! ,,d5s4      ,,iii4--,,george       
,,newnes ,,at ,,putney4      ,,by       
,,raymond ,,bla?wayt4   ,,novel ,,notes4
      ,,by ,,j]ome ,k4 ,,j]ome4   ,,on  
,,pilgrims ,,& ,,! ,,pilgrim ,,_s4      
,,by ,a4 ,,adams ,,m>t94   ,a ,,college 
,,idyl4      ,,by ,s4 ,,gordon4   ,,my  
,,fir/ ,,book4      ,,by ,f4 ,w4        
,,rob9son4   ,,told ,,by ,,! ,,colonel4 
,,xi4      ,,hosk9s',s ,,pets4      ,,by
 ,w4 ,l4 ,,ald54   ,,exp]i5ces ,,( ,a   
',,v>sity ,,o>4      ,,by ,,an ,,old    
,,blue4      7,f4 ,c4 ,,drake47   ,,!   
,,idl]s ,,club4      ,,is ,,*ildhood ,,!
 ,,happie/ ,,or ,,!      ,,mo/          
,,mis]able ,,p]iod ,,( ,,"o',s          

,,exi/5ce8          99       99       99
       99       99     ,illu/ration3    
,,mr4 ,,h5ry ,,irv+ ,,wat*+ ,a          
,,rehe>sal     ,! ,lyceum ,rehe>sals4   
,,by ,g4 ,b4 ,,burg94  ,,illu/rations   
,,by ,j4 ,,b]n>d ,,p>tridge4            
7,photographs by ,messrs4 ,b>raud47     
-----   ,illu/ration3 ,,t5nyson4  ,"o   
day a p>agraph appe>s 9 ! pap]s t a new 
piece w %ortly be produc$ at su* & su* a
 !atre4 ,pat]familias lays d[n ! pap] & 
placidly obs]ves t x may be wor? :ile   
gett+ seats4 ,!n he goes d[n to ! !atre1
 books seats1 & tr\bles himself no m    
ab\t ! matt] until ! fir/ night ( ! play
 9 "q4 ,! _w beh9d ! curta9 is "o ) :i* 
he is totally unfamili>4 ,he kn[s naught
 ( its /ruggles1 its hopes & fe>s1 its  
ardu\s "w1 its magnific5t prizes & sore 
disappo9tm5ts4 ,s _m ?\s&s ( p\nds h be5
 sp5t 9 prep>+ ! play1 s _m reputations 
are at /ake1 s _m he>ts w be gay & glad 
to-morr[1 or a*+ ) ! bitt] pa9 ( defeat4
 ,b to ,pat]familias ^! are all ! joys  
or sorr[s ( ano!r _w4 ,z he wat*es !    

smoo?1 easy p]=mance1 9 :i* e actor has 
8 place1 9 :i* ! :ole pageant produces  
itself )\t app>5t ef=t1 he fails to     
imag9e ! ceaseless "w involv$ 9 its     
adequate realisation4 ,he does n "k t = 
weeks be=e ! production ( a new play1   
say at ! ,lyceum = in/ance1 ,mr4 ,irv+ &
 ! wond]ful company :i* he has ga!r$    
r\nd him lab\r ov] x (t5 f> into ! night
 aft] ! audi5ce has left4 ,! g5]al idea 
( an actor's life is t x is a delightful
 r\nd ( social pleasures temp]$ by a few
 h\rs' light1 agreeable "w 9 ! ev5+2 to 
^? :o ?9k ?is1 a visit to ! ,lyceum     
rehe>sals w\ld reveal ! o!r side ( !    
%ield4 ,v few m5 9 ,london lab\r s      
indefatigably z ,mr4 ,irv+4 ,to wat* him
 direct+ a rehe>sal almo/ makes "o's    
head a*e at ! m]e idea ( su* unceas+    
lab\r4 ,e motion1 h[ev] insignificant1 (
 ea* individual on ! /age1 f himself d[n
 to ! newe/ & rawe/ sup]1 has to be     
?\ght out & plann$ 9 ,mr4 ,irv+'s bra94 
,l an ideal g5]al1 he leaves no?+ to    
*ance1 no?+ to subord9ates4 ,! turn+ up 

or d[n ( e gas jet1 ! movem5t ( e piece 
( furniture1 ! effect ( e note ( music1 
has receiv$ 8 mo/ c>eful ?\ght4 ,"o     
wat*es him /& h\r aft] h\r on ! ,lyceum 
/age1 )\t we>9ess1 )\t impati5ce1 guid+ 
! :ole ( ! great production4 ,& ?\gh    
,mr4 ,irv+ nev] sp>es himself1 he is v  
consid]ate to o!rs4 ,:51 = in/ance1 a "y
 actor is unable to compreh5d ! full    
mean+ ( an explanation1 ,mr4 ,irv+ walks
 up & d[n ! /age1 "o arm on 8 %\ld]1 &  
expla9s ! :ole conception ( ! "p4 ,he is
 n only a great actor1 b a great tea*]2 
& 8 influ5ce p]vades & dom9ates e be+ 9 
! !atre4 ,he does n m]ely ass]t1 b gives
 full & suffici5t reason = e action     
until e "o on ! /age grasps ! exact     
mean+ ( ! sc5e z well z he does himself4
 ,z an in/ance ( ?is1 let u foll[ !     
rehe>sals ( ,becket4  ,illu/ration3     
,,mr4 ,,h5ry ,,irv+4  ,illu/ration3     
,,miss ,,t]ry ,,/udy+ ,,h] ,,"p4        
,illu/ration3 ,,mr4 ,,william ,,t]riss4 
,! !atre itself is des]t$ save by "s    
gho/ly c>etak] :o glides noiselessly    

?r\gh ! %ad[y gloom1 slid+ a bru% ov] ! 
uphol/]y )\t look+ at x1 & replac+ ea*  
cov]+ z %e goes4 ,on ! /age are two     
g5tlem5 we>+ picturesque s(t hats1 &    
long coats :i* rea* to )9 half-a-foot ( 
! gr\nd4 ,! tall] ( ! two1 ,mr4 ,h5ry   
,irv+1 we>s a light drab-col\r$ coat &  
d>k hat2 ,mr4 ,william ,t]riss is attir$
 9 a light hat & d>k coat4 ,9 ! c5tre ( 
! /age1 close to ! foot-lights1 /&s a   
scre52 beh9d ! scre5 is a *air4 ,to !   
left ( ! /age 7z y look at x f ! /alls7 
is plac$ a small table ) a big gilt     
cross on x4 ,on ! extreme "r !re is     
ano!r small table lad5 ) pap]s1 plans ( 
! /age1 & lett]s4 ,at ! back ( ! /age   
are gr\p$ num]\s male sup]s1 clad 9     
ord9>y morn+ co/ume & we>+ ! inevitable 
b[l] hat1 :i* does n h>monise v well ) !
 huge spe>s !y c>ry4 ,x is ! sc5e 9 !   
second act ( ! late ,poet ,laureate's   
,becket1 ,! ,meet+ ( ! ,k+s1 & ,mr4     
,irv+ is busily engag$ gr\p+ "s fifty p 
:o are requir$ to pose z b>ons1 ,fr5*   
prelates1 & reta9]s4 ,:5 he has done    

?is1 !re is /ill some?+ want$ to        
complete ! picture4 ,two pages are      
lack+4 ,:]e's ,johnny8 asks ,mr4 ,irv+1 
& ,johnny appe>s4 ,mr4 ,irv+ eyes him   
critically4 ,i'm afraid y're too big1   
,johnny1 he says1 & ,johnny disappo9t$ly
 makes way = a small] boy4  ,mr4 ,irv+  
/&s well 9 ! c5tre ( ! /age1 absorb+ e  
detail4 ,! ,fr5* bi%ops are huddl$ too  
ne> toge!r1 & he gr\ps !m m naturally4  
,becket's mortal foes1 ,fitzurse1 ,de   
,brito1 ,de ,tracy1 & ,de ,morville1 are
 mov$ l[] d[n t[>ds ! audi5ce1 s t !y c 
g (f ) great] effect :5 je]+ at ,becket4
  ,illu/ration  ,! cameo-cut outl9es (  
,mr4 ,irv+'s f9e s]i\s features are     
pla9ly visible z he turns to look at !  
w+s4 ,i don't see any necessity = hav+  
^! 'w+s' s =w>d1 he decl>es1 & ! w+s at 
once slide g5tly back1 mov$ by "s       
invisible ag5cy4 ,9 response to ,mr4    
,irv+'s reque/ = ano!r alt]ation 9 !    
sc5]y 7he speaks ) an utt] abs5ce ( ef=t
 9 a voice :i* c be he>d at ! o!r end ( 
! !atre1 al?\gh x does n appe> to be    

rais$ above a conv]sational pit*71 a    
middle-ag$ g5tleman1 attir$ 9 a frock   
coat1 8 br[s c>efully swa!d 9 a :ite    
pocket h&k]*ief1 comes =w>d1 y>d/ick 9  
h&1 & measures ! /age ) great assiduity4
 ,:5 ?is has be5 done1 ,mr4 ,irv+ sits  
d[n ) ,please g on4 ,!n he turns to ,mr4
 ,t]riss3 ,%all we g ?r\gh x fir/ )\t ! 
dialogue8 ,yes1 answ]s ,mr4 ,t]riss2 & !
 :ole action ( ! sc5e is gone ?r\gh4    
,mr4 ,irv+ & ,mr4 ,t]riss ex*ang+ _!    
direction ( ! v>i\s gr\ps = ! assumption
 ( _! own p>ts ) an ease & rapidity born
 ( long practice1 ,mr4 ,irv+ mov+ ab\t f
 gr\p to gr\p until he is satisfi$ ) !  
effect ( ! :ole4 ,mr4 ,h4 ,t4 ,lov$ay1 !
 /age manag]1 be+ at pres5t ill1 ,mr4   
,t]riss is k9dly assi/+ ,mr4 ,irv+ )    
rehe>sal4 ,aft] ! entrances & exits h   
be5 arrang$ = ! tw5tie? "t1 ,h5ry's     
magnific5t voice r+s out z ,l\is ent]s3 
',bro!r ( ,france1 :at %all be done )   
,becket8'  ,z ?is is "o ( ! e>ly        
rehe>sals1 ! actors are n yet ^w p]fect4
 ,ea* holds 8 "p 9 "o h&1 & refre%es 8  

memory z he goes on4 ,:5 ,h5ry & ,l\is h
 f9i%$ _! dialogue1 & ,becket is ab\t to
 ent]1 ,mr4 ,irv+ sudd5ly pauses4 ,make 
a note t be=e ,becket's entrance !re    
%\ld be a sl[ *ant--a ,gregorian *ant--&
 fl\ri%es4 ,:]e are ! g5tlem5 :o s+8 ,! 
g5tlem5 :o s+ come on1 & practise !     
*ant4 ,n q s l\d4 ,mr4 ,irv+ claps 8 h&s
 7! /age signal = /opp+ p7 & decides to 
try ! effect beh9d ! sc5es4 ,t w d2 v   
good1 he decl>es1 z ! solemn *ant /eals 
sl[ly 91 & !n1 m]g+ ! manag] 9 ! actor1 
kneels at ,h5ry's feet4  ,illu/ration3  
,,! ,,/age ,,f ,,! ,,dress ,,circle4    
,at ?is juncture1 ,mr4 ,irv+ becomes !  
/age-manag] aga91 & turns to ! gr\p (   
,h5ry's foll[]s4 ,y1 g5tlem51 are to    
come up "h4 ,y are r />tl$1 & li/5      
att5tively2 t's ! _s ( x4 ,k+ ,h5ry's   
foll[]s move up1 & je] at ,becket1 :o   
curses !m4 ,!n come ! voices ( ! cr[d   
)\t3       ',bless$ be ! ,"l ,ar*bi%op1 
:o ha? )/ood two k+s to      _! faces = 
! hon\r ( ,god4'  ,b ,mr4 ,irv+ is n    
satisfi$ ) ! cr[d4 ,sl[] & m gravely1   

please4 ,i want ! emphasis on '! ,"l    
,ar*bi%op4' ,s6 ,t w be v good4  ,aft]  
?is1 !re is an int]val1 & ,mr4 ,irv+ &  
,mr4 ,t]riss disappe>4 ,be=e !y return1 
! /age c>p5t]s beg9 to prep>e = ! murd] 
sc5e 9 ! la/ act4 ,a numb] ( :at appe>  
to be canvas-cov]$ trunks are br\ght 9 &
 laid d[n to repres5t /ones 9 ! *oir (  
,cant]bury ,ca!dral4  ,meantime1 "s ( ! 
g5tlem5 :o repres5t ! monks 9 ?is sc5e  
playfully sp> at "o ano!r1 or lunge )   
walk+-/icks at imag9>y foes4 ,! c>p5t]s 
are busy measur+ ! /age 9 all directions
 ) tapes 9 accordance ) a plan :i* "o ( 
!m holds 9 8 h&4 ,be=e ,mr4 ,irv+       
returns1 ! sup]s gr\p !mselves left &   
answ] to _! names4 ,:5 he reappe>s1 !y  
look at him expectantly4 ,i am n go+ to 
rehe>se ?is sc5e to-day1 he says1 b w j 
arrange x4 ,^? :o s+1 g ov] "r 7left f !
 audi5ce74 ,y s+ ! vesp]s4 ,i want six m
 ) y4 ,!n1 twelve ( ! %orte/4 ,y foll[  
!m4 ,all ! %ort ones y h1 please4 ,yes1 
y're %ort 7to a dim9utive 'sup]' :o is  
/&+ on tiptoe & try+ to look sev5 feet  

high at lea/74 ,don't be ba%ful4 ,y're  
none ! worse = be+ %ort4 ,come along2 & 
) unfail+ memory ,mr4 ,irv+ calls ea*   
man by "n1 & indicates 8 place4 ,:5 a   
man fails to q realise :at is requir$ ( 
him1 ,mr4 ,irv+ takes him by ! %\ld]s1 &
 g5tly moves him along to ! requir$     
position1 v mu* z if ! individual 9 "q 7
 a pawn ab\t to be play$ 9 a game (     
*ess4 ,z soon z ! monks are gr\p$ to 8  
satisfaction1 he /eps back4 ,t's x4 ,n[1
 y all come d[n f ! *oir4 ,!re is a l\d 
hamm]+ aga9/ ! door4 ,i g to op5 ! door1
 & all ( y ru% "r by me4 ,!n ,mr4 ,irv+ 
op5s ! door to 8 murd]]s1 & is borne    
back by ! cr[d ( t]rifi$ monks4 ,five   
m9utes aft]w>ds1 he has return$ to life1
 & is rehe>s+ a sc5e f ,k+ ,le>1 ) ,miss
 ,ell5 ,t]ry's und]/udy1 9 z natural &  
unemb>rass$ a mann] z if he _h n be5    
work+ h>d = ?ree h\rs previ\sly4        
,especial c>e is be/[$ by ,mr4 ,irv+ )  
reg>d to e detail ( ! murd] sc5e4 ,on   
ano!r occasion1 ! sc5]y is n ready1 b a 
flight ( /eep /eps1 ess5tial to !       

action1 is plac$ f> back 9 a position to
 left ( ! /age4 ,z ,becket has nev] be5 
play$ be=e1 !re are no traditions :atev]
 to guide actors or sc5ic arti/s1 & ea* 
movem5t1 phrase1 ge/ure1 & intonation1  
mu/ be creat$4 ,mr4 ,irv+ picks up a    
huge battle-axe & hat*et1 & c>efully    
plans ! details ( 8 own murd]4 ,hav+    
decid$ h[ to die1 he ?\ghtfully surveys 
! /eps up :i* ! fright5$ monks are      
suppos$ to ru%4 ,!y won't d1 says ,mr4  
,irv+4 ,!y are too /eep2 !re is no      
h&-rail2 & ! monks w fall ov] & hurt    
!mselves4 ,take (f f\r /eps4 ,x w\ld be 
too dang]\s if anyone fell d[n4 ,n[1 !n1
 ,salisbury & ,grim1 ,i ent]1 =c$ along 
by y4 ,cat* hold ( me1 & put y\r arms   
r\nd me ?is way4 ,t's x4 ,no2 ,i don't l
 ^? /eps4  ,illu/ration3 ,a ,,critical  
,,mom5t4  ,mr4 ,irv+ aga9 tries ! /eps  
p]sonally1 & decides :at fur!r          
alt]ations are requir$4 ,!n he addresses
 ! monks1 :o /& by ! /eps await+        
in/ructions4 ,?is is a sc5e1 g5tlem51   
:i* requires ! utmo/ c>efulness &       

pati5ce1 & all ! e>ne/ness y c ?r[ into 
x4 ,n[1 g5tlem54  ,! cr[d3 ,"h is !     
great ,ar*bi%op4 ,he lives6 he lives6   
,no1 ,i w\ldn't d x t way1 says ,mr4    
,irv+4 ',"h is ! great ,ar*bi%op4' ,y're
 surpris$ to see me1 y "k4 ,!n pause4   
',he lives6 he lives6' 9 a sort ( :isp]4
 ,n[1 g back & *ant ! s]vice1 & d x all 
ov] aga94  ,illu/ration3 ,,miss         
,,g5evieve ,,w>d ,,& ,,ma/] ,,byrne     
,,rehe>s+4  ,! solemn /ra9s ( ! organ   
are he>d1 z ,rosamond goes (f1 ! cue = !
 monks to ent] be+1 ,& pass at once     
p]fect to ,p>adise4 ,b ! organ is too   
l\d2 s is ! *ant4 ,aft] sev]al attempts1
 ! organ s\nds m s(tly1 ! monks appe>1 &
 ,becket ent]s1 hurri$ along by 8       
fri5ds4 ,b ! monks h n yet caught ! _s (
 ! sc5e4 ,y are fright5$ out ( y\r      
lives4 ,see1 says ,mr4 ,irv+1 &1 9 a    
second1 he p]sonates a fright5$ monk4 ,!
 next mom5t1 ) bewild]+ rapidity1 he is 
! ,ar*bi%op aga94 ',:at d ^! p fe>8' ,:5
 ,i say1 ',i w g out & meet !m1' y mu/  
murmur z if to /op me4 ,i tell y1 ',:y1 

^! are our own monks :o foll['d u1' & y 
are reassur$4 ,!n ,i op5 ! door1 )1     
',come 91 my fri5ds1 come 94' ,yes1 t's 
x4 ,:o leads ! monks z !y come 98 ,mr4  
,belmore8 ,yes1 t's "r4 ,y ru% 91 foll[$
 by monks1 cry+ out z if y 7 ?or\ghly   
fright5$3       ',a score ( knights all 
arm'd ) swords & axes4'  ,!n pause a    
mom5t1 & %\t1 ',to ! *oir1 to ! *oir4'  
,"s ( y run half-way up ! /eps1 !n come 
d[n aga9 z if y _h *ang$ y\r m9ds1 & ru%
 "r across ! o!r side4 ,y are confus$1 &
 don't "k :at to d4 ,y1 ,mr4 ,bi%op1 %\t
 out 9 y\r trem5d\s voice1 ',to !       
crypt4'  ,?is movem5t is rehe>s$ "s     
tw5ty times be=e x satisfies ,mr4 ,irv+4
 ,at la/1 ! monks disappe>1 & ,becket is
 left to confront 8 murd]]s4 ,i /& "h 9 
! transept1 & ,fitzurse ru%es up to me4 
,:at's he say8 ,oh1 ',i w n only t\* b  
drag !e h5ce4' ,!n ,i say1 ',?\ art my  
man1 ?\ art my vassal4 ,away1' & pu% him
 (f4  ,fitzurse falls1 & ,mr4 ,irv+ /ops
 read+ f ! "p4 ,no1 ,fitzurse1 y take   
hold ( me1 & ,i fl+ y (f viol5tly4 ,y   

mu/ rememb] t ,i am suppos$ to be a     
/rong man--a man :o has be5 a soldi]4 ,l
 ?is1 & ,mr4 ,irv+ falls on ! /age ) an 
ease born ( long practice4 ,y pick      
y\rself up1 ru% at me ) drawn sword 7x's
 all "o movem5t71 & %\t1 ',i told !e t  
,i %\ld rememb] !e4' ,i say1            
',pr(ligate1 p&]4' ,y come on )1 ',d y  
he> t8 ,/rike6 /rike6' ,i cov] my face4 
',i d comm5d my cause to ,god1' & y ru% 
(f1 drunk ) blood1 half-horrifi$ at :at 
y've done1 & yet brav+ x out1 cry+1     
',k+'s m56 ,k+'s m56' to support y\r    
,dut* c\rage4  ,illu/ration3 ,,miss     
,,g5evieve ,,w>d4 7,,eleanor7  ,!       
murd]]s g (f1 & ,mr4 ,t]riss & ,mr4     
,irv+ practise a s]ies ( diff]5t        
attitudes = ! dea? sc5e until ,mr4 ,irv+
 is f9ally satisfi$4 ,he has tak5 (f 8  
coat 9 ord] to bett] rehe>se ! murd]    
sc5e4 ,mr4 ,t]riss n[ helps him on ) x  
aga91 ! monks are recall$1 & "s doz5 m  
pa9/ak+ attempts made to get ev]y?+ "r4 
,x's v simple1 g5tlem51 ,mr4 ,irv+      
assures ! monks4 ,v simple1 :5 y've once

 caught ! _s ( x4 ,?is rehe>sal has la/$
 = ne>ly ?ree h\rs1 dur+ ! :ole ( :i* "t
 ,mr4 ,irv+ has sup]9t5d$ ev]y?+1 ?r[n  
himself into ea* man's "p1 gr\p$        
ev]yone1 creat$ ! action1 devis$        
sugge/ions = sc5]y1 z if reg>dless ( !  
fact t 9 ! ev5+ he w h to und]go ! awful
 /ress & /ra9 ( ,k+ ,le>4 ,any o!r man1 
) a less int5se vitality1 w\ld simply   
collapse "u all ?is pressure4 ,mr4 ,irv+
 puts up 8 eyeglass1 takes a la/ look at
 ! /age1 & walks buoyantly (f z if !    
:ole ?+ 7 m]e *ild's play4  ,b :]e is   
,miss ,ell5 ,t]ry8 ,! "q answ]s itself z
 soon z ask$1 = a glid+1 graceful fem99e
 pres5ce appe>s on ! /age4 ,miss ,ell5  
,t]ry is attir$ 9 black1 ) a :ite fi*u  
at h] brea/ to relieve ! monotony ( ?is 
sombre g>b4 ,9 h] h& %e c>ries a little 
black basket1 & !re is a glimm] ( /eel  
at h] side z if %e wore a reticule      
conta9+ ! hundr$-&-"o trifles :i* ladies
 l to c>ry ab\t ) !m4 ,s mu* has be5    
writt5 & said ab\t ,miss ,t]ry t x w\ld 
seem at fir/ sight utt]ly impossible to 

say any?+ new4 ,9 five m9utes1 !        
difficulty is to say en\gh4 ,! supreme  
unconsci\sness ( ,art1 or ,nature1      
enables h] to assume a hundr$ *ang+     
attitudes2 h] voice is he>d )\t ef=t f  
"o end ( ! !atre to ! o!r2 %e possesses 
! mo/ exquisite tact4 ,wat* ! skill1 =  
in/ance1 ) :i* %e induces "s "y actor to
 realise ! true mean+ ( a passage 9 !   
play4 ,%e seems to be ?9k+ x out to     
h]self z if a new idea _h be5 pres5t$ to
 h]4 ,yes1 %e says1 mus+ly1 ,i wond] if 
t is :at ,t5nyson meant8 ,or1 ,wait a   
m9ute1 %e adds brightly1 ,h[ w\ld ?is d8
 ,!n %e repeats ! passage ) ! "r        
emphasis1 action1 & intonation1 giv+ !  
mean+ cle>ly & fully4 ,don't y ?9k t mu/
 be :at is meant8 %e asks que/ion+ly4   
,hum-m1 says ! actor1 look+ at ! l9es4  
,ah1 v likely4 ,p]haps x is4 ,x is agre$
 t x %all be spok5 t way1 & ! actor     
gives a delicate & tru?ful read+ ( ! "p1
 :i* w procure him a pat on ! back f !  
critics :5 ! play is produc$4 ,9 !      
pres5ce ( h] intuitive p]ception1 !     

memb]s ( ! ca/e in/9ctively become      
en]getic & animat$4 ,at "o mom5t %e b5ds
 ov] to ,mr4 ,m]$i? ,ball 9 ! or*e/ra1  
h] long black skirt sweep+ ! /age 9     
graceful folds2 at ano!r moves up to te/
 a portion ( ! sc5]y & conf] ) ,mr4     
,irv+1 or1 ) *air lightly dragg+ aft]1  
walks t[>ds ! w+s1 sits d[n1 & rapidly  
cons h] "p4 ,?ree m9utes aft]1 %e has   
cross$ ! /age1 & is writ+ a lett]4 ,be=e
 ! lett] is f9i%$1 some?+ else claims h]
 att5tion4 ,!n %e comes back1 f9i%es x1 
& is consult$ by ,mr4 ,irv+ & ,mr4      
,t]riss z to h[ he 7,mr4 ,t]riss7 is to 
jump ov] a table )\t =feit+ 8 k+ly      
dignity4 ,mr4 ,t]riss has already vault$
 ov] ! table "s eight times ) ! agility 
( a de]1 b ,mr4 ,irv+ wants x done      
diff]5tly4 ,i ?9k y'd bett]1 he says1 h 
some?+ on ! table1 & pick x up be=e y g 
ov]4 ,if y d x ?is way1 x looks r l     
,lillie ,bridge1 y "k4 ,miss ,ell5 ,t]ry
 reflects a mom5t1 !n asks1 9 mir?ful   
tones1 suit+ ! action to ! ^w1 ,:at is t
 jump t makes y g sideways z y fly ov]  

hurdles8 ,mr4 ,t]riss1 l ,mr4 ,w9kle's  
horse1 goes sideways4 ,?is me?od1 h[ev]1
 /ill lacks dignity1 & at la/ x is      
decid$ t he %all place bo? h&s on !     
table1 spr+ ov]1 & s lightly up ! /eps &
 exit4 ,half-way up ! /eps he is recall$
 by ,mr4 ,irv+'s w>n+ voice1 ,don't g up
 !re2 x isn't safe yet4  ,illu/ration3  
,,miss ,,ell5 ,,t]ry4  ,illu/ration3    
,,mr4 ,,hawes ,,crav5 ,,at ,,"w ,,on ,a 
,,clo?4  ,!re is "o g5tleman :o plays a 
v important "p 9 ! proce$+s1 yet nev]   
appe>s on ! ,lyceum /age 9 public1 & t  
is ,mr4 ,hawes ,crav51 ! sc5ic arti/4   
,frequ5t]s ( ! !atre h = _m ye>s pa/ be5
 famili> ) ,mr4 ,crav5's beautiful      
sc5]y1 b v few ( !m "k ! mann] ( place  
:]e x is produc$4 ,d[n _m deep /eps     
b5ea? ! /age is a w9d+ passage lead+ pa/
 ! unornam5tal bases ( :at appe> to be  
huge balks ( timb]1 ris+ up into space4 
,^! timb]s are int]sp]s$ ) rubb] pipes =
 light+ purposes4 ,lean+ aga9/ ! wall is
 a dilapidat$ /ructure1 v mu* l a huge  
,rob9son ,crusoe umbrella out ( repair1 

:i*1 on clos] inspection1 proves to be !
 hovel us$ 9 ,k+ ,le>4 ,close to x is   
affix$ a plac>d giv+ directions h[ to   
manipulate ! celebrat$ ,lyceum ?und]4 ,a
 little beyond is a n>r[ flight ( /one  
/eps lead+ to ,mr4 ,crav5's pa9t+ room1 
:i* is fifty feet long & ab\t ?irty feet
 wide4 ,x is lit by a skylight ext5d+ ! 
full wid? ( ! ro(4 ,on ea* side ( x are 
/ret*$ huge canvasses1 eighte5 feet high
 & =ty-sev5 feet long4 ,^! canvasses are
 ext5d$ on frames1 :i* c be rais$ or    
l[]$ by means ( a w9* to suit ,mr4      
,crav5's conv5i5ce4 ,"s idea ( !        
exp5siv5ess ( ! mat]ials = /age sc5]y   
may be ga!r$ f ! fact t ! canvas alone  
co/s a %ill+ a y>d1 ) an additional *>ge
 ( "o p5ny = sew+4 ,x takes ,mr4 ,crav5 
& 8 two assi/ants f\r h\rs to prime "o  
clo? ready = pa9t+4 ,9 times ( em]g5cy1 
he (t5 works f\rte5 h\rs at a /ret*4 ,! 
floor ( ! room is bespatt]$ ?ickly )    
pa9t3 ,mr4 ,crav5's clo!s are all ! hues
 ( ! ra9b[2 s are ^? ( 8 assi/ants1 "o (
 !m unconsci\sly hav+ decorat$ himself )

 a blue nose4 ,! c5tre ( ! room is      
occupi$ by huge tables1 on :i* /& e>!n  
pots conta9+ pa9t by ! half-gallon1 &   
bru%es ( all %apes & sizes4 ,inde$1 "s (
 ! bru%es w hold two p\nds weight ( pa9t
 at a s+le dip1 & ,mr4 ,crav5's implem5t
 = sket*+ 9 outl9es is a ?ick /ick (    
*>coal fa/5$ on a long pole4 ,! arti/'s 
me?od ( pa9t+ is to walk to ! c5tre     
tables1 take a huge dip ( pa9t1 & spe$  
back aga9 to 8 canvas1 :i* repres5ts a  
huge a% tree4 ,mr4 ,crav51 besides      
sport+ z mu* woad on 8 p]son z an anci5t
 ,briton1 we>s a :ite h&k]*ief r\nd 8   
br[s4 ,:5 he is v mu* press$ = "t1 he   
ex*anges ?is h&k]*ief = a r$ "o1 & !    
joke goes r\nd t ?is means blood4 ,z x  
is impossible to c>ry heavy pots ( pa9t 
ab\t all day1 ,mr4 ,crav5 really p]=ms a
 k9d ( s5try-g1 pa9t+ z he goes4 ,"o    
curi\s fact is t 8 col\rs dry v quickly 
ab\t two %ades light] ?an :5 !y are wet4
 ,aft] ,mr4 ,crav5 has cov]$ a c]ta9    
am\nt ( space1 he motions to ! boy at ! 
w9*1 & ! :ole va/ canvas moves sl[ly up 

"s two or ?ree feet4 ,mr4 ,crav51 9     
addition to 8 arti/ic k1 is a p]fect    
ambulatory encyclopa$ia1 8 "w requir+ an
 intimate acqua9tance ) ar*itecture1    
botany1 hi/ory4 ,he is1 above all ?+s1  
an arti/1 ) an intimate k ( ! %apes1 !  
hues1 ! seasons ( fl[]s1 ! col\rs &     
habits ( birds1 ! t9ts ( leaves1 _! v>i$
 =ms1 & ! o!r ?\s& & "o ?+s :i* he is   
call$ ^u to depict at a mom5t's notice4 
,! rapidity ) :i* he works is simply    
m>vell\s4 ,s sorry ,i c't talk mu*1 he  
says2 b ,i _h f\rte5 h\rs ( x ye/]day1 &
 my feet are beg9n+ to give out4 ,y     
ought to jo9 ! eight h\rs' movem5t1 ,mr4
 ,crav54 ,mr4 ,crav5 makes a            
semi-circul> sweep ) a huge bru%1 ! po9t
 ( :i* lights on a p5dul\s a% b\gh4     
,eight h\rs6 he e*oes ) g5ial scorn4    
,:y1 if ,i did1 my pr(ession w\ld 7dab6 
dab6 dab67 cease 7dab6 dab6 dab67 to    
7dab67 exi/ = me2 & ! nak$ b\gh is clad 
9 graceful foliage ) magical rapidity4  
,illu/ration3 ,,miss ,,t]ry ,,& ,,mr4   
,,t]riss ,,run ,,?r\gh ,,_! ,,sc5e4  ,"o

 ev5+1 x is ann\nc$ t = a c\ple ( days  
,mr4 ,irv+ w n play4 ,be=e he has fully 
recov]$1 h[ev]1 he comes d[n to rehe>sal
 ) ,mr4 ,lov$ay1 :o is1 happily1        
convalesc5t4 ,miss ,t]ry & ,mr4 ,t]riss 
sp>e him all !y c1 ! latt]'s ,jove-l    
voice ?und]+ ov] ! /age :5 ,mr4 ,irv+   
wi%es to convey comm&s to di/ant gr\ps4 
,b x is evid5t t ,mr4 ,irv+ w n be      
re/ra9$4 ,aft] ! rehe>sal beg9s1 ! =ce (
 habit causes him to be "h1 !re1 &      
ev]y:]e ) unabat$ en]gy1 z ! gr\p+ 9 !  
?ird sc5e ( ! fir/ act is v difficult4  
,! foll[+ r\gh diagram w give "s idea ( 
! /age3  ,illu/ration  ,?is sc5e is laid
 9 ,nor?ampton ,ca/le4 ,"s fifty p are  
on ! /age1 bi%ops1 ,templ>s1 knights1 & 
,john ( ,ox=d1 ,presid5t ( ! ,c\ncil4   
,mr4 ,irv+ runs 8 eye ov] ! diff]5t     
gr\ps4 ,put "o man on ! /eps4 ,n[1 a    
gr\p by ! ?rone4 ,! b>ons sit r\nd !    
table1 & ! re/ ( y occupy ! b5*es4  ,z !
 gr\ps arrange !mselves 9 ob$i5ce to    
,mr4 ,irv+'s directions1 8 some:at      
eld]ly fox-t]ri] moves sl[ly on1 &      

sup]cili\sly surveys ! g5]al effect4 ,z 
! b>ons give v5t to angry murmurs1 ! dog
 h[ls4 ,sometimes1 :5 ,mr4 ,irv+ walks  
up ! /eps aft] bidd+ defiance to !      
b>ons1 ! dog foll[s /iffly aft] him to  
l5d ! weight ( 8 moral support4         
,satisfi$ t all is well1 ! dog returns  
to ,miss ,t]ry1 & goes to sleep on h]   
dress4 ,n[ & !n he wakes up1 /ret*es    
himself1 & ev9ces ! mo/ pr(\nd contempt 
= ,john ( ,ox=d's spee* by yawn+ 9 !    
orator's face4 ,see+1 at la/1 t !       
rehe>sal w be long] ?an usual1 he       
resigns himself to ! inevitable1 & goes 
to sleep aga94  ,illu/ration3 ,,!       
,,fight ,,at ,,nor?ampton4  ,aft] ,mr4  
,irv+ has gr\p$ ! m5 on ! b5*es1 he /eps
 back & looks at ! table4 ,we ought to h
 on x "s k9d ( mace or crosi]1 he       
says--a l>ge crosi]4 ,n[ = ! 'make up4' 
,all ! b>ons & ev]yone :o has a m\/a*e  
mu/ we> a small be>d4 ,all ! g5tlem5 :o 
h no be>ds rema9 un%av54 ,all ! prie/s &
 bi%ops are un%av54 ,! mob c h slight   
be>ds1 b ?is is unimportant4 ,n[1 take  

(f y\r hats1 g5tlem51 please4 ,"s ( y   
mu/ be old1 "s "y4 ,hair v %ort2 & he   
passes f gr\p to gr\p select+ ! diff]5t 
p4 ,n[1 ,i ?9k1 t is all und]/ood pretty
 well4 ,:]e are ! sket*es = dresses8  ,!
 sket*es are br\ght1 & he goes c>efully 
?r\gh !m4 ,miss ,t]ry & ,mr4 ,t]riss    
also look ov] ! big :ite %eets ( pap]4  
,! fox-t]ri] /rolls up to ! gr\p1 gives 
a glance at !m1 & walks back aga9 to    
,miss ,t]ry's *air ) a slightly cynical 
look4 ,!n ,mr4 ,irv+ returns to ! gr\ps 
by ! b5*es4 ,rememb]1 g5tlem51 y mu/ be 
argu+ "h1 lay+ d[n ! law 9 ?is way1     
suit+ ! action to ! ^w4 ,j arrange :o is
 to argue4 ,don't d x promiscu\sly1 b   
?ree or f\r ( y toge!r4 ,try to put a   
little action into x4 ,i want y to %[   
y\r arms1 & n to keep !m glu$ to y\r    
sides l truss$ f[ls4 ,no2 t isn't half  
en\gh action4 ,don't be fright5$4 ,bett]
 make too mu* noise r ?an too little1 b 
don't /op too sudd5ly4 ,/>t argu+ :5 ,i 
r+ ! fir/ bell4 ,z ,i r+ ! second bell1 
y see me ent]1 & /op4 ,! dog /&s "o     

bell1 b ! second annoys him1 & he       
disappe>s f ! /age altoge!r1 until ! p  
on ! b5*es h f9i%$ _! discussion4  ,mr4 
,irv+ next tries ! ?ree-corn]$ /ools :i*
 are plac$ ar\nd ! table1 b pref]s squ>e
 ones4 ,! dog returns1 walks ov] to !   
or*e/ra1 looks va9ly = a rat1 & retreats
 "u ! table 9 ! c5tre ( ! /age z if ?+s 
7 gett+ really too mu* = him4 ,b 8 re/+ 
place is ill-*os51 = pres5tly           
half-a-doz5 angry lords jump on ! table1
 & he is driv5 =? once m4 ,aft] a /ormy 
sc5e ) ! lords1 ,mr4 ,irv+ walks up !   
/eps aga94 ,:5 ,i say ',i dep>t1' y mu/ 
let me get up ! /eps4 ,all ?is "t y\r   
p5t-up ang] is wait+ to bur/ out        
sudd5ly4 ,don't g to sleep ov] x4 ,he   
looks at ! table 9 ! c5tre ( ! /age1 &  
turns to a c>p5t]4 ,?is table w nev] d4 
,x has to be jump$ on by s _m p t x mu/ 
be v /rong4 ,!y foll[ me4 7,to ,miss    
,t]ry7 ,!y'd bett] cat* hold ( me1 up ! 
/eps "h4  ,miss ,t]ry3 ,!y mu/ d some?+4
 ,!y c't /& hold+ y l t4  ,mr4 ,irv+3   
,no4 ,! door op5s sudd5ly at top ( /eps1

 & discov]s ! cr[d1 :o %\t1 ,bless$ is  
he t come? 9 ! "n ( ! ,"l4  ,! doors op5
 & ! cr[d %\t1 b ! effect is n good4    
,miss ,t]ry3 ,x w\ld be bett] if x 7    
done at ! foot ( ! /eps4 ,! p ne$n't %[ 
_! faces z !y d x1 & ! effect w be s mu*
 bett]4  ,! effect is tri$1 & f\nd to   
answ] admirably4 ,!n ! c>p5t]s c>ry away
 ! sc5]y1 & ! /age is set r\ghly = !    
,b[] sc5e 9 ! second act4 ,mr4 ,t]riss  
fet*es a scre5 f ! left1 & places x     
beh9d ,miss ,t]ry's *air2 ,mr4 ,irv+    
sits fac+ ,miss ,t]ry1 back$ by ano!r   
scre5 to keep (f draughts2 ,mr4 ,t]riss 
sits a little way back1 & ! dog goes to 
sleep 9 ! c5tre ( ! gr\p4 ,9 ! backgr\nd
 appe> ?ree or f\r co/um$ specim5 monks 
& reta9]s wait+ to be inspect$1 "o      
frivol\s be+ try+ to balance a y>d      
measure on ! tip ( 8 nose 9 a mann] :i* 
ill accords ) 8 monki% ve/m5ts4 ,! music
 cues are v difficult to get "r4 ,ne>ly 
an h\r is consum$ 9 try+ diff]5t        
effects4 ,miss ,t]ry insi/s t ! :ole    
sc5e entirely dep5ds ^u ! action1 & t ! 

music mu/ be subord9at$ to x4 ,:5 !     
music dr[ns h] voice1 %e sudd5ly /ops ) 
a despair+ ge/ure1 ,we c\ldn't speak    
?r\gh ?is any m ?an ! dead4 ,c't x beg9 
l\dly1 ,mr4 ,ball1 !n die away8 ,!n %e  
turns to ,miss ,kate ,phillips1 :o is h]
 maid 9 ! play4 ,please try y\r song at 
! back !re1 ,miss ,phillips4            
,illu/ration3 ,,mr4 ,,irv+ ,,consid]+   
,,! ,,incid5tal ,,music4  ,miss         
,phillips s+s a v pretty b sad little   
song1 & ,miss ,t]ry li/5s att5tively4   
,x's an ,iri% wail1 says ,mr4 ,irv+4 ,y 
don't want an ,iri% wail "h1 b a m]ry   
song4 ,y %\ld h a mir?ful1 runn+        
accompanim5t1 & ! song is *ang$4 ,t is  
en\gh = to-day4  ,! dog ?9ks s too4 ,!  
,iri% wail has be5 ! la/ /raw4 ,he      
prec$es ev]yone t[>ds ! w+s ) joy\s b>ks
 :i* q belie 8 air ( long-suff]+        
cynicism4 ,x is lun* "t4  ,at ! fir/    
full-dress rehe>sal1 ! ,lyceum /age     
resembles a bee-hive ) its sw>ms ( busy 
occupants4 ,huge pieces ( sc5]y move    
ab\t1 propell$ by p]spir+ c>p5t]s 9     

%irt-sleeves2 :ole skies sudd5ly float  
up into ! flies2 ! prompt] conv]ses     
amicably ) a mail-clad b>on2 !n1 m sc5]y
 glides maje/ically d[n f ! ro( or spr+s
 up sudd5ly ?r\gh ! /age1 :i* is        
lit]ally full ( traps = ! unw>y4 ,!     
tum-tum-tum ( ! fiddles 9 ! or*e/ra     
s\nds weirdly z ! compos] ( ! incid5tal 
music1 ,pr(essor ,/an=d ,villi]s1 leans 
ov] f ! /alls & *ats ) ,mr4 ,m]$i?      
,ball1 or makes a my/]i\s /atem5t to him
 t ! /accato %\ld be a little m /accato4
 ,pres5tly1 ,pr(essor ,villi]s rem>ks to
 ! or*e/ra1 ,in/ead ( play+ two %ort    
quav]s1 please play ! crot*et 9 ?ree "t4
 ,! or*e/ra respond vigor\sly1 b are    
/opp$ ) a fur!r reque/ to play ! fir/   
*ord 9 ! second b> z a dott$ m9im in/ead
 ( a quav]1 & ! ,pr(essor w&]s ab\t all 
ov] ! h\se te/+ ! effect ( e note4  ,!  
prologue goes (f z smoo?ly z if x _h be5
 play$ = a hundr$ nights4 ,miss ,t]ry1  
clad 9 ,rosamond's magnific5t robes1    
sits 9 ! /alls & wat*es ! effect ( !    
lights ^u ea* gr\p4 ,sometimes a light  

is too blue1 or too yell[1 or too :ite1 
& 9 ! fir/ act ! rehe>sal is /opp$      
sev]al times on ?is acc\nt4 ,:5 ,miss   
,t]ry is on ! /age1 ,mr4 ,irv+ wat*es ! 
lights2 :5 ,mr4 ,irv+ is act+1 %e /udies
 ea* fla%4  ,on ! :ole1 !re are         
wond]fully few details :i* require      
modification4 ,9 ! ,b[] sc5e1 ! light is
 at fir/ too yell[1 & has to be alt]$4  
,practical exp]i5ce proves t ! bank up  
:i* ! lov]s g is too slipp]y4 ,a portion
 ( x is cut away1 ?us avoid+ !          
probability ( an awkw>d accid5t4 ,miss  
,w>d trips on ! hem ( h] regal robe1 &  
reque/s ! co/umi] to take x up a little4
 ,mr4 ,irv+1 ) unfail+ memory1 notices t
 "s spe>m5 are )\t _! spe>s4 ,b !re is  
little to alt]2 at ! second full-dress  
rehe>sal !re w be less2 & on ! ev5+ ( ! 
fir/ p]=mance ev]y?+ & ev]ybody w h     
settl$ d[n into ! "r place4 ,mr4 ,hawes 
,crav5 comes on once or twice to look at
 8 h&iwork1 & see t x has be5 prop]ly   
set4 ,!n he walks away ) a brisk /ep to 
8 well-e>n$ re/4  ,ap>t f ! int]e/ ( !  

,b[] sc5e1 x is delightful to wat* ,miss
 ,t]ry & ,ma/] ,byrne1 :o plays         
,ge(frey4 ,:5 he comes on a little be=e 
he is want$1 ,miss ,t]ry ?r[s h] arms   
r\nd him & kisses ! pretty little fell[ 
t5d]ly )1 ,!re1 run away = a mom5t1     
d>l+2 we're n q ready = y4 ,x is ?is    
sweet & all-p]vad+ womanl9ess ( ,miss   
,t]ry's :i* fasc9ates ! onlook]4        
,sudd5ly1 f "s d>k recess1 h] voice     
floats out ) an em95tly practical       
sugge/ion1 a %rewd idea z to effect1 "s 
playful qu]y4 ,x comes f e qu>t] ( !    
!atre1 & is m>vell\sly ?rill+1 ) all !  
subtle fasc9ation ( :at a poet-musician 
w\ld call its tone-col\r4 ,:5 ! curta9  
draws up = ! ,b[] sc5e1 & %e playfully  
*ides h] royal lov]1 x is m exquisite   
/ill4 ,! solit>y obs]v] sits & li/5s to 
x1 ! sole repres5tative f ! out] _w4    
,all ?is gorge\s pageantry is = him     
alone2 all ?is weal? ( emotion1 ?is /ory
 ( love & murd]1 ?is "w ( ! great poet  
n[ pass$ away--all ?is is p\r$ into !   
e>s ( "o man1 :o sits motionless1       

entranc$1 until ! tale is told1 ! play  
done1 & he walks out into ! quiet night1
 quiv]+ ) ! t]rible pa?os ( ,becket's   
end4      ,illu/ration3 ,,someone ,,t\*$
 ,,me ,,on ,,! ,,arm4  ,a ,bless+       
,disguis$4  ,,by ,f4 ,w4 ,,rob9son4     
,,illu/rat$ ,,by ,a4 ,,birk5rau? ,,&    
,,/4 ,m4 ,,fitzg]ald4            -----  
,:5 ,i came home f my =tnight's holiday1
 among/ ,tom ,brisket's c[s1 9          
,hunt+don%ire--once a ye>1 = j f\rte5   
days1 d ,i unb5d f ! c>es ( bus9ess &   
seek relaxation f> away f ,b]mondsey--& 
let myself 91 ) my pat5t lat*key1 &     
walk$ ) my usual confid5ce into my front
 p>l\r1 y might h knock$ me d[n ) a     
fea!r4 ,any fea!r w\ld h done x--a      
butt]fly's1 say--,i 0 ?r[n s completely 
(f my gu>d4 ,i _h be5 s confid5t4 ,i 0 n
 9 any way prep>$ = x4  ,illu/ration3   
,,my ,,h\sekeep]4  ,! h\se 0 desolate   
en\gh1 b t 0 n x4 ,mrs4 ,kibbey _h fail$
 to put 9 an appe>ance at ! end ( h]    
holiday1 al?\gh ,i _h wir$ to h] only   
ye/]day t ,i %\ld be home at precisely  

#h4ae p4m42 b x 0 n ! unlook$ = abs5ce (
 ,mrs4 ,kibbey--my h\sekeep]--t upset me
 ?or\ghly1 oh1 no4 ,! gas 0 n light$1 & 
! supp] 0 n likely to come (f 9 ! abs5ce
 ( ,kibbey1 c]ta9ly1 b ^! 7 only m9or   
features ( a colossal                   
surprise--bagatelles1 or any?+ y may l  
to call !m4 ,gold5 ,bir* ,villa1        
,/rea?am1 ,s4,e41 0 simply *aos--t is ! 
milde/ & easie/ way ( expla9+ ! matt] to
 beg9 )4 ,"o ^w suffices--,*aos4 ,x w   
take a great _m words to expla9 :y my   
little suburban retreat1 on :i* ,i _h   
prid$ myself = s _m ye>s ( my ba*elor   
life1 0 a mass ( conglom]at$ wreckage4  
,i w be z brief z ,i c4 ,i am n a prolix
 man2 ,i "k ! value ( "t1 & ( o!r p's   
"t4 ,i %\ld n h _h a fl\ri%+ bus9ess 9  
,b]mondsey1 if ,i didn't "k4 ,gold5     
,bir* ,villa1 ,/rea?am1 !n1 _h be5      
burgl$4 ,brok5 into1 despoil$ & defac$1 
0 my little c\ntry retreat f ! turmoil (
 t[n1 & x 0 ?is :i* _h confront$ me aft]
 f\rte5 days ( pa/oral simplicity1 dur+ 
:i* ,i _h got v sick ( ,tom ,brisket1 & 

,tom's wife1 & ,tom's c[s1 & ,tom's     
*ildr5--especially 8 *ildr5--:i* pall$  
^u "o badly & became unbe>able1 & bea/ly
 p]sonal4 ,! c\ntry soon tells ^u me1 & 
,i am n fond ( *ildr5--yet a            
:ile--because--b ?is is m]e babbl+ (    
gre5 fields & babies4 ,9 describ+ my    
return to ,gold5 ,bir* ,villa t ev5+1 ,i
 /ill feel a confusion 9 ! bra9 :i*     
:irls & :irls g5tly r\nd ) me4 ,x 0 !   
greate/ surprise ( my life1 ! fir/ *apt]
 9 a s]ies ( surprises1 ! read] w say   
pres5tly4 ,i %all leave ! /ory 9 8 h&s1 
& a rem>kable /ory x is1 take x         
altoge!r4 ,x illu/rates cle>ly ! old    
axiom1 t "o nev] kn[s :at is = ! be/1 & 
t to be robb$--clean$ out--& "o's       
premises g5]ally done =1 %\ld turn out  
to be a bless+ 9 disguise1 w n be v     
cle>ly app>5t to ! read] until ,i h     
expla9$ ! :ole affair & he has he>d my  
/ory to ! end4  ,illu/ration3 ,,tom',s  
,,*ildr54  ,at ! precise mom5t ( :i* ,i 
write n[--#h4ae--;,i felt z if utt] ru9 
_h ov]tak5 me1 z if !re 7 no gett+ ov]  

?is gigantic tr\ble--?is %ock1 z x 71 ( 
a moral e>?quake4 ,! usual k9d (        
e>?quake w\ld h be5 v mu* ! same k9d (  
article1 ?+s a little m askew1 p]haps1 b
 n half s messy4 ,i /agg]$ into an easy 
*air--aft] light+ "o ( my gas-burn]s--& 
took a survey ( ! situation1 ) my m\?   
op51 my *9 on my *e/1 my knees knock+   
g5tly toge!r1 & my hair sl[ly ris+ ^u my
 head4 ,all ! doors _h be5 lock$ be=e ! 
dep>ture ( ,mrs4 ,kibbey--my            
h\sekeep]--& myself on our sep>ate ways 
( recreation1 & all ! doors 7 n[ wr5*$  
op51 & ! locks hang+1 z x 71 by bits (  
sk96 ,ev]y?+ 9 ! room ( any real value  
_h vani%$ l a beautiful dream1 & ev]y?+ 
( no value to anyone b ! own] _h be5    
tilt$ into ! middle ( ! room = !        
conv5i5ce ( a ha/y analysis be=e        
dep>ture4 ,! cont5ts ( two desks1 ( my  
c>v$ oak sidebo>d 7late ! prop]ty ( a   
g5tleman71 ( my bookcase 7to make sure t
 no?+ _h be5 /[$ away beh9d ! books71 ( 
all ! draw]s 9 all ! tables1 7 9 "o l>ge
 heap ^u ! c>pet2 bills1 lett]s1        

tableclo?s1 tablecov]s1 d9n] knives1    
decant]s1 *imney ornam5ts1 books1       
purses1 lead p5cils1 corkscrews1 my     
silv]-m\nt$ flute1 ) all ! m\nts gone1 &
 ! cruets m9us _! silv] tops4 ,also all 
! silv] spoons1 ! electros be+ turn$ out
 ^u ! heap z non-negotiables4 ,! piano  
_h be5 split op5 & gutt$--x 0 an        
unr$eem$ ,gr&--! burgl> or burgl>s hav+ 
be5 seiz$ ) ! suspicion t ,i _h secret$ 
articles ( value 9 ! body ( ! in/rum5t4 
,& s ,i _h6 "o valuable 9 p>ticul> be+ a
 fav\rite h& or c>riage-clock mosaic1 & 
a mass ( m9iature dials1 gold-m\nt$1 !  
dials at "o "t hav+ be5 capable ( giv+  
all k9ds ( unnecess>y in=mation1 be=e ! 
dea? ( ! manufactur]1 :o dep>t$ ?is life
 leav+ no "o skill$ en\gh 9 ! _w to     
und]take ! repairs2 b x 0 a great       
curiosity1 & ,i set great /ore by x4 ,s 
did ! burgl>s1 = !y _h f\nd x & c>ri$ x 
away1 along ) a l>ge quantity ( portable
 prop]ty too num]\s to m5tion 9 ! pages 
( ?is magaz9e )\t *ang+ _! appe>ance to 
a k9d ( ,catalogue ( ,sale4             

,illu/ration3 ,i ,,/agg]$ ,,to ,,an     
,,easy ,,*air4  ,yes--,i 0 robb$4 ,& ,i 
_h be5 s v sure t to leave ! premises to
 take c>e ( !mselves 0 s exce$+ly wise  
an exp$i5t4 ,cocksure ,kipp5 _h be5 my  
nickname 9 ,b]mondsey s9ce ,i _h be5 9 !
 pawnbrok]+1 j because ,i _h op9ions (  
my own1 & did n call on o!r p to let me 
"k _! views ( a "q ^u :i* ,i _h made up 
my m9d4 ,:at did ,i want ) o!r p's      
op9ions1 :5 ,i knew my own 7 ev] s mu*  
bett]8 ,b ,i 0 a little cre/fall5 on !  
pres5t occasion--,i w say t4 ,& x 0 my  
own fault = go+ d[n to ,tom's--,i w say 
t too4 ,:at did ,i want ) c\ntry air8 ,i
 _h n be5 ail+ any?+4 ,i _h always      
consid]$ a =tnight 9 ,tom ,brisket's    
company a frightful wa/e ( "t4 ,i 0 nev]
 )\t an excell5t appetite1 & ,i measur$ 
=ty-"o in*es r\nd ! *e/1 "o in* = e ye> 
( my life1 ,i _h said jocosely1 only    
ye/]day1 be=e ,i return$ to t[n1 b !re 0
 no jocosity 9 me :5 ,i 0 at home       
aga9--if ?is be>-g>d5 c\ld be call$     
home1 t is1 or made to look l home ev]  

any m6  ,illu/ration3 ',,x ,,0 ,a       
,,clean ,,job1' ,,! ,,policeman ,,said4 
,x 0 a clean job1 ! policeman said--q   
admir+ly--:5 ,i _h /r5g? to rea* ! front
 door & call him 94 ,:y _h ,i n gone    
r\nd to ! /ation-h\se1 ! policeman ask$1
 & told ! ,inspector ,i 0 (f = a        
holiday1 z o!r p g5]ally did8 ,oh1 yes1 
t 0 v likely6 ,:y _h n ,i insur$ 9 a    
,burgl>y ,company8 ,oh1 yes--& let no   
end ( p "k t !re 0 a furni%$ h\se at    
,/rea?am ) nobody inside ( x = a        
=tnight4 ,did ,i ?9k ,i c\ld tru/ my    
h\sekeep]8 ,tru/ ,m>?a ,kibbey1 :o 0 my 
fa!r's h\sekeep] be=e me--de>1 deaf1    
old1 palsy-/rick5 ,kibbey1 ) a si/] 9 ! 
,cook%ops ,alm%\ses1 ,cat]ham1 & ) :om  
%e sp5t h] holiday inv>iably4 ,kibbey1  
:om ! policeman & ,i f\nd up/airs 9 a   
fit1 9 h] own b$room1 hav+ x all to     
h]self1 l a quiet1 unobtrusive old s\l z
 %e always 04 ,%e _h come into ! h\se 9 
good "t1 & realis+ ! position1 _h ru%$  
up/airs to h] room1 fir/ ( all1 to see  
:at _h be5 tak5 ( ^? worldly goods ( h] 

own1 9 :i* %e 0 m naturally int]e/$ ?an 
anybody else4 ,& :5 %e discov]$ t h] *e/
 ( draw]s _h be5 op5$ ) an indiff]5t    
*isel1 & t a silv] wat* ( h]            
gr&fa!r's--weigh+ "o p\nd & a qu>t]--_h 
disappe>$1 along ) an apple-scoop1 also 
( preci\s metal1 belong+ to h] late     
husb&1 :o 0 gummy1 ,mrs4 ,kibbey became 
a physical wreck1 fit = no?+1 &         
compreh5d+ next to no?+4 ,:5 %e und]/ood
 t ,i 0 9 ! h\se--safe & s\nd--%e w5t   
into hy/]ics ( ?ankfulness ( s viol5t a 
description t ,i _h to leave h] )       
police-con/able #ijf1 & run across !    
road = ! doctor4  ,! police made a great
 fuss ov] ! robb]y4 ,! ,inspector call$ 
lat] on & ent]$ all ! p>ticul>s 9 a     
notebook1 & look$ at ! brok5 doors & !  
hole 9 ! breakfa/ p>l\r %utt]s1 ?r\gh   
:i* admittance _h be5 obta9$1 & ! g5]al 
turn-out ( ev]y?+ 9 ! middle ( ea* room1
 & !n add+ 8 te/imony to ! neatness ( ! 
job1 took 8 dep>ture1 promis+ to let me 
"k :5 any?+ turn$ up4  ,we %all want a  
complete li/ ( ! articles y miss1 s t we

 c s5d r\nd to ! pawnbrok]s1 he _h said 
be=e leav+ me4  ,i'm a pawnbrok] myself1
 ,i repli$4  ,ah6 !n y'll get "o4       
,?ankee4 ,p]haps ,i %all get "o ( !     
?ieves too4  ,well1 y'll "k y\r own     
prop]ty1 ,i expect1 sir1 he said1 ) a   
mo/ unbecom+ gr91 z he took himself (f !
 premises4 ,i did n see him aga94 ,i    
hope ,i nev] %all1 ! unsympa!tic bea/4  
,"t pass$ on & br\ght no tid+s ( !      
robb]s or ! /ol5 prop]ty4 ,i 0 v mu*    
di/ress$ ov] ! :ole affair1 & my        
neighb\rs tri$ to com=t me by tell+ me t
 ,i c\ld af=d ! loss1 & t x 0 a good job
 x _h n happ5$ to a poor] man4 ,h[ did  
!y "k ,i c\ld af=d ! loss1 or t ,i 0 n  
utt]ly ru9$8 ,i _h nev] pos$ z a weal?y 
man--,i 0 n weal?y1 9 ! /rict s5se ( !  
t]m4 ,i _h be5 only c>eful1 ,i _h sp5t  
no?+ 9 wa/e1 & ,i _h put by a little    
money = a ra9y day4 ,if p 9 ,b]mondsey  
call$ me a money-grubb]1 x 0 no fault ( 
my own2 b !re 7 a few :o did1 because ,i
 held to ! /rict lett] ( ! law 9 my     
contracts4 ,t 0 praisewor?y1 b !y c\ld n

 see x4 ,i believe a few ( !m 7 actually
 glad t ,i _h be5 robb$4  ,illu/ration3 
,,he ,,0 ,,v ,,lame4  ,"s six mon?s aft]
 ! burgl>y1 9 ! dusk ( an e>ly w9t]'s   
aft]noon1 a tall1 sunk5-*eek$ man1 ) a  
huge :ite m\/a*e & a v]milion face1 :i* 
seem$ put on expressly to %[ x up by1   
came limp+ into my %op at ,b]mondsey4   
,he 0 v lame1 or pret5d$ to be1 ,i      
?\ght1 to ?r[ me (f my gu>d4 ,z if ,i1  
,edw9 ,kipp51 0 likely to be (f gu>d 9  
bus9ess h\rs1 z if x 7 possible to be (f
 "o's gu>d & get "o's liv+1 ,b]mondsey  
way4  ,i told my appr5tice1 :o 0 beh9d !
 c\nt] poli%+ up a few w9d[ goods = next
 ,saturday1 to light up1 ?\gh !re 0 q   
half-an-h\r's daylight left 9 ! /reet4  
,b1 someh[--su* is in/9ct--,i did n l ! 
get-up ( ?is man4 ,i _h nev] se5 him    
be=e2 he did n look made 9 ,b]mondsey1 &
 he 0 se$y1 & a little n]v\s1 ?\gh he   
talk$ 9 /rid5t tones1 9 a ,sir ,an?ony  
,absolute k9d ( mann]1 :i* made ! gas   
glasses j+le4  ,d y buy articles        
outright1 ,mr4 ,kipp51 z well z l5d     

money on !m8 he ask$ abruptly z he      
ent]$4  ,yes1 sir1 ,i d4  ,& at a fair  
price8  ,c]ta9ly4 ,may ,i ask :at----   
,b he 0 an impetu\s man1 & s full ( 8   
own mission1 t he did n wait = me to    
conclude my inquiry4  ,illu/ration3 ,,my
 ,,appr5tice4  ,!n :at w y give me = ?is
 article1 money d[n8 he ask$1 produc+ f 
8 pocket1 to my complete a/oni%m5t1 !   
id5tical little c>riage clock1 all dials
 & complications & int]nal              
irregul>ities1 :i* ,i _h hidd5 9 my     
piano be=e go+ d[n to ,brisket's f>m--! 
clock t _h be5 /ol5 f my ,/rea?am villa4
 ,! same feel+ came ov] me :i* ,i _h _h 
9 t resid5ce on ! night ( my return4 ,i 
0 swimmy = a mom5t1 & saw />s1 & !n     
?\ght t a ?ick fog _h brok5 out 9       
,b]mondsey4 ,i recov]$ myself by a      
mighty ef=t ( w4 ,"h 0 to be a battle ( 
! wits4 ,"h 0 "o item ( my lo/ prop]ty  
)9 a h&'s grasp ( me4 ,i c\ldn't keep t 
h& f trembl+ z ,i took ! clock f him4   
,don't %ake x up l a bottle ( m$ic9e1   
said ! old g5tleman1 irritably2 x's a   

delicate piece ( workman%ip1 & won't /& 
bobb+ up & d[n l t2 x upsets ! me*anism1
 & x isn't easily set "r4  ,is x 9 work+
 ord]1 !n8 ,i inquir$1 ) suppress$      
amazem5t4  ,yes1 ( c\rse x is4  ,good   
graci\s6 is x ?\gh8 ,i said1 ne>ly      
dropp+ x 9 my surprise4  ,x tells ! days
 ( ! mon?1 ! dates ( ! mon?1 he w5t on1 
! phases ( ! moon1 ! mon? ( ! ye>1 ! ye>
 ( ! c5tury1 ! v>iations 9 ! wea!r2 x   
*imes ! qu>t]s1 halves1 & ?ree-qu>t]s2 x
 plays a waltz aft] x /rikes ! h\r2 x   
acts z a revolv]--,i mean z a repeat]--&
 x is m\nt$ 9 solid gold ( #bj c>at1    
almo/ pure gold4 ,a timepiece fit = a   
pr9ce1 & belong$ orig9ally to ,l\is     
,seize4 ,:at is x wor? to y1 money      
d[n--on ! nail--z y tradesm5 say8  ,i   
%all want a little "t to consid] !      
matt]4  ,take y\r own "t1 sir1 only1 =  
,god's sake1 look %>p1 said ! old man   
irrev]5tly1 z he remov$ 8 hat & wip$ 8  
=ehead ) a big1 old-fa%ion$ silk b&anna4
  ,a clock ( ?is description _c be      
reckon$ up 9 a hurry1 ,i said4 ,i hav5't

 exam9$ ! works yet4  ,y'll f9d !m      
p]fect1 wond]fully p]fect4 ,b don't     
brea! into !m if y c help x4 ,x affects 
! waltz movem5t p>ticul>ly4             
,illu/ration3 ,a ,,timepiece ,,fit ,,=  
,a ,,pr9ce4  ,oh1 does x1 inde$8 ,i     
said1 ironically4  ,i pr(ess$ to be     
exam9+ ! works ) ! close/ att5tion1 b ,i
 0 only resolv+ on my plan ( future     
action4 ,i 0 play+ ) my prey--an angl] )
 8 cat*1 a cat ) a m\se4 ,?is 0 ! man :o
 _h brok5 into ,gold5 ,bir* ,villa1 &   
walk$ (f ) ! pick ( ! prop]ty4 ,an +5i\s
 burgl>1 :o 0 an exp]t 9 clocks1 &--,i  
smil$ grimly at ! joke--:o _h actually  
put ! article into my own h&s aga9 9    
p]fect ord]4 ,i c\ld h imag9$ t x 0 a   
duplicate copy ( m9e1 & 9 bett]         
condition altoge!r1 _h x n be5 = my     
private m>k1 :i* ,i 0 focuss+ n[ ?r\gh a
 s+le-b>rell$ magnifi]4 ,i c\ld talk to 
! man bett] 9 ?is fa%ion2 _h ,i look$   
him /raight 9 8 braz5 *aps1 my virtu\s  
indignation w\ld h betray$ me4 ,& my    
policy 0 to dissemble1 l ! man 9 a      

melodrama4  ,y h _h ?is a long "t 9 !   
family1 ,i suppose8 ,i said quietly--v  
quietly--b t5tatively4  ,x's n new4 ,any
 fool c see t x is a ,l\is ,seize clock1
 & ( consid]able value4  ,x's a valuable
 ?+ 9 its way1 no d\bt1 b x w\ld suit a 
,we/ ,end h\se bett] ?an my e/abli%m5t4 
,i "k t1 sir1 z well z y d1 0 ! te/y    
reply1 b ,i hav5't got ! "t to run to ! 
o!r side ( ! wat]1 & ,i want money 9 a  
hurry--9 a great hurry1 or ,i %\ld n h  
come to y1 he add$ bluntly4  ,are y liv+
 9 ?is neighb\rhood8  ,:at bus9ess is t 
( y\rs8 he cri$4 ,:at--yes1 ,i d live 9 
! neighb\rhood--r\nd ! corn] 9 ,tan ,y>d
 ,road--if y want to "k4 ,no4 #bci is my
 address1 if x is likely to d y any     
good1 & my "n is ,y\son4 ,i see y h y\r 
d\bts z to my rightful possession ( !   
article2 pawnbrok]s are all alike1 h    
exactly ! same tricks ( ! trade4 ,i "k  
_! ways1 no "o bett]1 & ,i "k :at y are 
go+ to say to me next4  ,i really d n   
?9k t is possible4  ,y'll tell me x is  
unsaleable--t n "o 9 t5 ?\s& w\ld ?9k ( 

buy+ su* a ?+--t at ! price ( ! metal x 
w be wor? to y--well1 :at ! devil is x  
wor?8 ,y h be5 />+ at x long en\gh to "k
 n[4  ,i am sorry y are 9 su* a trem5d\s
 hurry1 ,i said1 nettl$ a little by 8   
unc]emoni\s deportm5t4  ,i am 9 a hurry4
 ,x is a "q ( life & dea? to me t ,i    
%\ld h t money quickly1 don't y see8    
,no--y don't see--h[ c y see--h[ c y "k 
any?+ ab\t me1 save t ,i want money8 ,y 
see t fa/ en\gh4 ,well1 sir1 y are      
welcome to y\r k1 he w5t on excit$ly1 & 
,i am n clev] en\gh to disguise x1 ?\gh 
,i "k y'll take advantage ( my          
extremity--a man ( bus9ess1 & 9 y\r l9e 
( bus9ess1 is sure to d t4 ,b give me a 
fair price4 ,i--,i--don't want ! money =
 myself1 ,i don't want a p5ny ( x--%an't
 take a p5ny ( x1 by ,god6  ,?is 0 an   
odd way ( try+ to get rid ( /ol5 goods1 
b x 0 +5i\s1 & !re 0 a refre%+ novelty 9
 ! /yle ( x4 ,b ,i 0 n ! man to be done4
 ,i flatt]$ myself t ,i 0 z %rewd z ?is 
artful & r$-fac$ old fox1 & t ,i held ! 
trump c>d 9 my h& to play at any mom5t4 

,i h a fri5d only a few doors (f :o w "k
 ! value ( ?is article f> bett] ?an ,i1 
,i said2 he is a collector (--( clocks1 
& w give y a bett] price ?an ,i c af=d4 
,?is is n 9 my l9e at all2 ,i %\ld nev] 
get a bid = x4 ,t5 p\nds w\ld be too mu*
 = me to pay1 or ev5 to l5d ^u x4  ,x's 
wor? a hundr$ p\nds1 y "k t well en\gh4 
,i %\ld n l to say :at x is actually    
wor?4 ,i don't buy ?+s l ^! )\t ,b5d]'s 
op9ion2 he's a sleep+ p>tn] ( m9e1 &    
only j r\nd ! corn]4  ,ah1 is he8       
,heav5 =give me ^! dreadful lies1 ,i    
:isp]$ s(tly to myself4  ,let u g to    
him1 he said1 snat*+ ! clock sudd5ly f  
my h&s4 ,& ,i _h nev] int5d$ to let !   
prop]ty get out ( my possession aga96   
,?is man 0 adroit2 he might be "o too _m
 = me aft] all1 if ,i betray$ ! slighte/
 d\bt ( him1 or made any?+ l a sc5e4 ,he
 0 fidget+ ) some?+ 9 ! "r pocket ( 8   
snuffy1 old greatcoat too--p]haps !re 0 
a pi/ol !re--,i 0 almo/ sure !re 0 a    
pi/ol6  ,yes1 let u g to him1 ,mr4      
,y\son1 ,i said4 ,i'm sure he or ,i w   

make y a h&some (f]2 he's j ! fell[ to  
put d[n 8 hundr$s4 ,isaac1 get me my    
hat--any hat or cap1 any?+ y c f9d--only
 look alive4 ,i am go+ r\nd to ,mr4     
,b5d]'s ) ?is g5tleman4  ,:]e's ,b5---- 
began t /upid ass ( a boy1 b ,i *eck$   
him ) a malevol5t & mean+ glance1 & !   
y\?1 look+ fright5$1 div$ into ! back   
p>l\r 9 se>* ( my head-ge>4 ,he came out
 ) a /raw hat1 ) a ticket on x1 b ,i did
 n notice any?+ 9 my excitem5t4 ,i p9$  
to be 9 ! op5 ) ?is miscreant1 :o _h put
 ! clock into 8 pocket4 ,) a policeman 9
 view1 on ! f> horizon at ! end ( !     
/reet1 my happie/ h\r w\ld h arriv$4    
,illu/ration3 ,,p ,,7 ,,/ream+ ,,home   
,,f ,,"w4  ,we salli$ =? toge!r1 ,i     
keep+ v close to him1 le/ he %\ld gr[   
suspici\s & make up 8 m9d to run4 ,e    
m9ute did ,i expect t he w\ld plunge    
into ! middle ( ! road & te> madly d[n !
 /reet4 ,& x 0 a tr\ble to keep by !    
side ( him2 ! p 7 /ream+ home f "w1 7   
out m>ket+1 look+ = some?+ *eap = tea or
 supp] to be b\ght (f ! b>r[s :i* 7     

flank+ ! k]b/ones4 ,side by side1 we got
 jo/l$ occasionally1 ! pavem5t be+ n>r[ 
& ! p ?icki%1 & twice ,i caught         
surreptiti\sly at ! hem ( 8 g>m5t :5 ,i 
?\ght t we 7 go+ to be sep>at$4 ,&1 z   
usual1 !re 0 n a policeman on ! beat    
any:]e--no sign ( (ficial =ce--no?+ b m5
 & wom51 boys & girls1 ! boys t]ribly 9 
! way1 & aft] ! girls6  ,d y call ?is a 
few doors (f8 said ,y\son1 snappi%ly1 at
 la/4  ,comp>atively--oh1 yes4  ,x looks
 l half-a-mile1 he grumbl$4  ,ano!r     
m9ute or two1 ,mr4 ,y\son4 ,i am sorry y
 are s press$ = "t4  ,s am ,i4 ,n b :at 
,i h _h ab\t en\gh ( y\r company1 ) t   
ridicul\s hat ( y\rs ov] y\r eyes1 he   
add$1 ungraci\sly4 ,i wi% ,i _h nev]    
come ne> y\r inf]nal %op4 ,y are ab\t ! 
sl[e/ tradesman ,i h ev] enc\nt]$4  ,x  
does n pay to be too fa/ 9 my l9e (     
bus9ess4  ,oh1 ,i don't blame y1 ,i     
don't blame y1 sir2 ,i only say ,i      
wi%----:at are y jump+ at8 ,a9't y well8
 ,are y subject to any?+8 he ask$4      
,spasms or twit*es8  ,i _h se5 a        

policeman on ! o!r side ( ! way1 /&+ "u 
! %op-bl9d ( a *eesemong]'s %op1 talk+  
to ! "y man ) ! apron :o 0 9 *>ge1 gr9n+
 f e> to e> ) him1 & grossly neglect+ 8 
duty1 :i* 0 to keep a %>p look out at   
:at 0 go+ on up & d[n ! /reet4  ,:]e are
 y (f to n[8 ask$ ,mr4 ,y\son4  ,b5d]'s 
is ov] ! way4  ,:at1 ! butt]man's8  ,no1
 no1 b j by !re4 ,come along4 ,m9d ?is  
horse & c>t2 ,i %\ld n l y to get run   
ov] ) t 9 y\r pocket1 ,i said1 almo/    
incoh]5tly4  ,mr4 ,y\son gave a %ort    
d\ble-knock sort ( a laugh4  ,:at1 y are
 gett+ anxi\s ab\t ! clock1 aft] all8   
,i am inde$4  ,we _h rea*$ ! o!r side ( 
! way1 & ! policeman _h turn$ 8 back ^u 
u--j l him6--& 0 />+ /raight into ! %op4
 ,!re 0 a r[ ( egg-boxes full ( eggs (  
all sizes & prices & ages 9 front ( !   
premises4 ,sudd5ly1 ,i sprang l a pan!r 
^u my prey1 flung my arms r\nd ,y\son's 
neck1 & yell$1 at ! top ( my lungs1 =   
,help6 & = ! ,police6  ,damn--conf\nd x1
 sir--:at6--gurgl$ =? ,y\son1 9 8       
supreme a/oni%m5t2 !n we bo? /agg]$1 our

 feet w5t f "u u1 &1 lock$ 9 ea* o!r's  
arms1 we sat d[n1 all ( a heap1 9 ! #bh 
a %ill+1 n w>rant$1 comp>tm5t1 & a      
hide\s crackl+1 z ( a subdu$ & squa%y   
l&slip1 w5t on b5ea? our wri?+ =ms4     
,oh1 good ,"l6 exclaim$ ! "y butt]man1  
?r[+ up bo? arms 9 8 despair1 "h's a g6 
,"h--hullo--:at ! blazes are y two      
blokes hup to8 cri$ ! policeman1 cat*+ u
 bo? by ! coll>s ( our coats & %ak+ u2  
?is is a nice place to beg9 l>k+1 ,i mu/
 say4  ,x is n l>k+1 ,i exclaim$1 gett+ 
on my feet1 a hide\s mass ( egg-%ells & 
indiff]5t egg-flip2 x's highway robb]y6 
,?is man is 9 possession ( my           
prop]ty--proce$s ( a burgl>y--,i'm      
,kipp51 ! pawnbrok]1 ,no4 #cai2 he's got
 my clock 9 8 pocket n[4 ,i--,i give him
 9 *>ge1 con/able1 ,i give him 9 *>ge6  
,:y don't y cat* hold ( him8            
,illu/ration3 ,,our ,,feet ,,w5t ,,f    
,,"u ,,u4  ,! man's mad6 ejaculat$ ,mr4 
,y\son1 rav+ mad4 ,somebody cat* hold ( 
him4  ,!re 0 a big cr[d r\nd u--x       
doesn't take long to get up a mob 9     

,b]mondsey--& ! proprietor ( !          
*eesemong]'s %op1 :o _h em]g$ f 8 caves 
( d\ble ,gl\ce/]1 0 want+ to make a case
 ( 8 own out ( x all1 & run ! two ( u 94
 ,! policeman 0 bewild]$1 & ,mr4 ,y\son 
0 beside himself ) ungov]nable rage4    
,he has got ! clock 9 8 pocket1 ,i      
repeat$4  ,yes1 ,i "k ,i h a clock 9 my 
pocket1 he splutt]$1 y--y rascal--y     
unmitigat$----  ,x's my clock4 ,i c swe>
 to x1 ,i yell$4 ,i've pl5ty ( witnesses
 to prove x's m9e4  ,y'd bett] bo? come 
r\nd to ! /ation-h\se1 said ! policeman2
 d y *>ge him ) tak+ y\r clock1 sir8 he 
add$ to me4  ,i d4  ,v well4  ,we w5t (f
 to ! /ation-h\se1 ,mr4 ,y\son & ,i1 !  
policeman & ! *eesemong]1 & a gr&       
procession 9 ! re> ( ab\t fifte5 hundr$ 
p]sons ) no?+ to d4 ,! *eesemong] & ,i  
conv]s$ amicably en r\te1 :5 he _h      
become ?or\ghly conv9c$ t ,i 0 a bro!r  
tradesman1 resid5t at ! f> end ( !      
/reet4 ,he und]/ood ! case !n--he grasp$
 ! situation--b he c\ld n = ! life ( him
 make out1 he said1 :y we _h sat d[n 9 !

 middle ( 8 eggs to argue ! po9t4 ,:o 0 
answ]able = all ! damage1 he %\ld l to  
"k8 ,i didn't "k1 ,i told him1 & ,i 0   
damag$ mat]ially s f> z we>+ app>el w5t1
 ,i delicately intimat$1 by ! indiff]5t 
quality ( 8 eggs4 ,t y _c get reliable  
eggs = tw5ty-eight a %ill+ 9 ! w9t]     
season1 9 ,b]mondsey1 is a mis]able     
fact1 & discr$itable to ! reputation (  
,fr5* p\ltry4  ,i _h nev] be5 9 su* a   
mess 9 my life1 b ,i 0 9 a great] mess !
 next day4 ,x's a long /ory1 t ( !      
exam9ation at ! police /ation1 & ,i w   
sp>e ! read] ! h>ass+ details4 ,mr4     
,y\son1 9 8 confusion1 made a v rambl+  
/atem5t ( h[ he came into possession ( !
 clock1 prejudic$ ! ,inspector aga9/    
him1 & got himself lock$ up1 & ,i 0 told
 to call ! next day at ! ,police ,c\rt 9
 ,blackman ,/reet & expla9 matt]s1 & br+
 my witnesses4 ,i did s1 & br\ght a     
neighb\r or two :o _h se5 ! clock ^u my 
mantelpiece at ,/rea?am1 & ,i cl9*$ !   
argum5t ) ,mrs4 ,kibbey1 :o %$ copi\s   
te>s dur+ ! evid5ce1 till ! magi/rate   

ask$ h] %>ply :at %e 0 snivell+ at1 :5  
%e fa9t$ dead away "u ! repro(1 & _h to 
be c>ri$ f ! witness-box into ! fre% air
 to recov]4  ,illu/ration3 ,,mrs4       
,,kibbey ,,%$ ,,copi\s ,,te>s4  ,x 0 a  
cle> case1 h[ev]1 aga9/ ,mr4 ,y\son1    
ev]ybody consid]$1 & he 0 rem&$ = a     
week1 )\t bail1 :il/ enquiries z to 8   
antec$5ts 7 to be vigor\sly made4 ,!re 0
 a v grave suspicion1 ! ,inspector      
:isp]$ confid5tially into my e>1 along )
 "s /rong puffs ( g9 & pepp]m9t :i*     
impregnat$ 8 brea?+ app>atus dreadfully1
 t ,y\son 0 "o ( a desp]ate gang (      
,lambe? burgl>s1 = :om ! police _h be5  
se>*+ = "s "t4  ,!re 0 a woman's scream 
9 c\rt :5 ,y\son 0 rem&$1 & ! magi/rate1
 :o 0 c]ta9ly 9 a bad temp] t morn+1    
said t he w\ld commit anybody = contempt
 :o made su* a noise z t aga91 & !n !   
next case 0 call$1 & ,i 0 outside 9     
,blackman ,/reet1 ,bor\gh4  ,i _h1 ) "s 
difficulty & a little pleasure1 lodg$ ! 
hy/]ical ,mrs4 ,kibbey 9 a ,/rea?am     
omnibus1 & 0 mak+ my way ?\ghtfully d[n 

,k+ ,/reet to my ,b]mondsey premises1 :5
 someone t\*$ me on ! arm4 ,i look$     
r\nd1 & 0 consid]ably surpris$ to f9d a 
pale1 grave "y woman ( "s ?irty ye>s (  
age1 poorly b neatly clad1 keep+ /ep )  
me on ! n>r[ pavem5t4  ,i beg p>don1    
sir1 b y are ,mr4 ,kipp51 ,i ?9k8  ,yes1
 my "n is ,kipp54  ,i want$ to speak to 
y4 ,i want$ s mu* to see y be=e ?is case
 came on4 ,my "n is ,y\son1 ,luc9da     
,y\son1 %e said1 hurri$ly4  ,god bless  
me1 is x ?\gh8 ,y are----  ,mr4 ,y\son's
 daught]4  ,my good woman1 ,i hope y are
 n go+ to bo!r me1 ,i said1 implor+ly2 !
 case is out ( my h&s4 ,i am b\nd ov] to
 prosecute4 ,x 0 a %ameful robb]y4  ,my 
fa!r did n rob y1 ,mr4 ,kipp54 ,does he 
look l a ?ief8  ,i don't "k :at he looks
 l4  ,illu/ration3 ,,mr4 ,,y\son',s     
,,daught]4  ,y don't "k ! tru?1 %e said 
quickly4 ,p]haps y don't "k :at k9dness 
is1 or *>ity--"s p don't4 ,y w\ld n wait
 = him to expla91 & y h ne>ly kill$ u ) 
anxiety4 ,we--we did n "k :at _h become 
( him4  ,kill$ u1 ,i repeat$1 vacantly2 

are !re _m ( y8  ,my si/]-9-law & h]    
little boy1 & myself4 ,& ! boy is       
dy+--t's ! wor/ ( x--oh6 poor little    
*ap1 t is ! wor/ ( x6 ,& 8 gr&fa!r 0 s  
fond ( him2 he 0 sell+ ! clock s t ! boy
 & 8 "m %\ld g away to ,madeira1 ! only 
*ance to save him1 sir4 ,! only *ance t 
0 left4  ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,boy ,,is   
,,dy+4  ,& s he ?\ght he w\ld sell      
some?+ valuable t did n belong to him1 &
 g to ,madeira at my exp5se1 &----  ,y  
mu/ n say my fa!r /ole x--y d>e n6 %e   
cri$1 & h] eyes lit]ally fla%$ fire at  
me4 ,?is "y woman 0 z impulsive z h]    
feloni\s fa!r4 ,"h 0 ano!r sc5e likely  
to spr+ up 9 ! /reet if ,i 7 n          
p>ticul>ly c>eful1 & ,i _h _h en\gh (   
demon/rations 9 ! public highway4  ,my  
good woman1 :at is x t y want ) me8  ,i 
want y to he> h[ t clock came into my   
fa!r's possession1 & !n--& !n prosecute 
him if y c4 ,& at y\r p]il1 sir--please 
to und]/&1 at y\r p]il1 ?\gh ,i utt] no 
?reats4  ,x /rikes me y d4  ,no--no--,i 
don't mean t1 %e cri$4 ,heav5 help me1  

,i am almo/ di/ract$1 ,i am n myself    
to-day1 & y w li/58 ,x w n co/ y any?+  
to li/5 to me1 sir1 w x8  ,%e laid h] h&
 ^u my arm entreat+ly--%e _h v e>ne/    
br[n eyes1 & ,i 0 n1 z ,i ?\ght1 :olly  
unsusceptible to ! influ5ce ( br[n eyes 
^u ! n]v\s sy/em4 ,& z %e _h delicately 
intimat$ t li/5+ w\ld n co/ me any?+1 :y
 %\ld ,i object to li/5 to h]8 ,we 7 bo?
 go+ ! same way4 ,( c\rse1 ,i %\ld he> a
 good r\ndab\t /ory--a second edition ( 
h] fa!r's rigm>ole :i* _h prejudic$ !   
magi/rate aga9/ him--b ,i 0 n b\nd 9 any
 way to believe a ^w t %e said4  ,x     
s\nd$ uncommonly l tru? ?\gh1 & took me 
v mu* aback :5 %e said sudd5ly--  ,yes1 
t clock 0 /ol5 f y4 ,we knew x 0 /ol5--&
 :o /ole x4  ,b y j said----  ,t my fa!r
 did n /eal x4 ,god bless him1 no4 ,he  
did n "k--did n dream t we knew--did n  
"k any?+ ab\t x 9 any way--does n to ?is
 day4 ,x 0 8 prop]ty1 he ?\ght--all t 0 
left ( any value 9 ! _w to him2 & x _h  
belong$ to 8 son--8 elde/ son1 my       
half-bro!r1 :o----  ,:o 0 ! ?ief4 ,!    

inf]nal----  ,please don't1 sir4 ,he is 
dead4  ,oh6 ,i beg y\r p>don4 ,i        
didn't--"k1 ,i f\nd myself say+ 9 an    
apologetic mann] :i* really surpris$    
myself4  ,yes1 sir1 he 0 ! ?ief1 %e     
said1 s9k+ h] voice into a :isp] almo/4 
,he committ$ suicide two mon?s ago      
abroad1 b we h kept ! tru? back f fa!r4 
,he wasn't to "k--x w\ld h brok5 8 he>t1
 he 0 s pr\d ( 8 son1 always4 ,b be=e my
 half-bro!r di$--he _h gone to ,canada1 
to make a home = ,kitty & h] boy1 he    
said--he wrote to ,kitty t he 0 a       
rep5tant man1 & t1 unkn[n to any ( u1 he
 _h be5 = ye>s 9 bad h&s1 work+ ) !m1   
/eal+ ) !m4 ,our poor fa!r ?\ght he 0 a 
travell] = a ,man*e/] firm1 & s did we1 
until t t]rible confession came across !
 sea to u4 ,we 7 n to tell fa!r--we 7 to
 make all ! re/itution t we c\ld        
pres5tly2 he w\ld s5d full in/ructions  
:at we 7 to d by ! next mail1 he wrote1 
& ! next mail only told u ( 8 dea?4     
,illu/ration3 ,i ,,0 ,,always ,,h&y ,,) 
,,my ,,f+]s4  ,& y\r fa!r8  ,kitty & ,i 

h f\ght h>d to keep ! tru? f him--! tru?
 w\ld h brok5 8 he>t4 ,:y ! news ( 8    
son's dea? ne>ly did1 sir4 ,& he has _h 
s mu* tr\ble--s _m losses too--& we h   
be5 = ! la/ six mon?s s v h>d driv5 to  
live4 ,( late days fa!r wi%$ to sell ?is
 clock1 b we w\ld n let him--we 7 sure x
 _h be5 /ol51 & we hop$ to f9d ! own] "s
 day4  ,b n l ?is1 ,i suppose8  ,oh6 no1
 n l ?is4 ,b :5 little ,willie got v    
ill2 :5 resid5ce abroad = a few mon?s   
might save him1 ! doctor said--x 0 only 
ye/]day he told u t--fa!r took ! clock  
out ( ! h\se unkn[n to u1 &--& came at  
once to y4 ,he is s v impetu\s1 poor    
fa!r4  ,ah6 is he8 ,& :o put ! clock 9  
work+ ord]1 may ,i ask8  ,i did4  ,y6   
,i 0 br\ght up to ! wat*-mak+--,i am r  
clev] at x1 !y say4  ,illu/ration3 ,,w5t
 ,,to ,,madeira ,,) ,,kitty ,,& ,,!     
,,boy4  ,clev]4 ,by ,george1 ,i %\ld ?9k
 y 76 ,:y1 9 a bus9ess l m9e y w\ld be  
invaluable4  ,i 0 always h&y ) my f+]s4 
,s 0 y\r half-bro!r--x seems to run 9 ! 
family4  ,oh6  ,i beg p>don1 ,i said1 = 

! second "t4 ,i--,i did n mean to say t4
 ,x slipp$ out promiscu\sly4  ,nev] m9d1
 sir--nev] m9d1 %e said hurri$ly4 ,:at  
are y go+ to d8 ,pray tell me :at y ?9k 
( do+ :5 ,i prove ! tru? ( ?is4  ,if x's
 all true--& ,i believe x is already1   
,miss ,y\son--,i--,i am go+ to )draw f !
 prosecution1 & ask y\r fa!r to br+ an  
action aga9/ me = illegal det5tion4     
,oh6 he w\ld nev] ?9k ( su* a ?+4  ,& he
 nev] did4 ,! /ory 0 q true1 e ^w ( x1 &
 we arrang$ to keep x f ! old man1 s f> 
z ! peculi> pr(ession ( 8 fir/-born 0   
conc]n$4 ,he nev] knew t4 ,i got r      
intimate ) ! ,y\son family by degrees1  
al?\gh our acqua9tance _h begun s       
inauspici\sly4 ,r intimate1 ,i          
say--well1 v intimate1 r6 w\ld be a cle>
 expression1 if a trifle inelegant4  ,= 
,i m>ri$ t girl1 & p5sion$ (f ,mrs4     
,kibbey1 & ,i nev] did su* a f9e /roke (
 bus9ess 9 all my life4 ,! old man--he 0
 a f9e old fell[1 too--w5t to ,madeira )
 ,kitty & ! boy1 & ,i bore ,luc9da (f to
 ,/rea?am4 ,%e is "o ( ! be/ ( wives1 & 

s v h&y 9 ! bus9ess too--saves me a heap
 ( money4 ,x 0 a lucky day = me :5 t    
rascal ( a half-bro!r ( h]s broke       
burgl>i\sly into ,gold5 ,bir* ,villa1 & 
took away ev]y?+ t _h an atom's wor? (  
preci\s metal 9 its composition4 ,x 0 a 
bless+ v mu* 9 disguise1 b x has answ]$ 
its purpose ?or\ghly well4 ,i am z happy
 z ! day is long--& s is ,luc9da4       
,ev]ybody tells me t ,i secur$ a        
treasure :5 ,i took h] = bett]1 = worse4
 ,ev]ybody b ,mrs4 ,kibbey--pa/         
h\sekeep]1 & liv+ ) h] si/] n[ 9 !      
,cook%ops ,alm%\ses at ,cat]ham--& %e   
says ,i c\ld h done mu* bett] = myself1 
long be=e1 if ,i _h only look$ ab\t me 9
 a s5sible & practical sort ( way4      
,illu/ration3 ,,liv+ ,,) ,,h] ,,si/]    
,,n[4     ,illu/ration3 ,,mr4 ,,george  
,,newnes4   ,lions 9 ,_! ,d5s4          
-----  ,,iii4--,,george ,,newnes ,,at   
,,putney4  ,,by ,,raymond ,,bla?wayt4   
,,illu/rations ,,by ,,geo4 ,,hut*9son4  
7,photographs by ,messrs4 ,fradelle     
,"y47            -----   ,illu/ration3  

,,mr4 ,,newnes',s ,,h\se ,,at ,,putney4 
,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,obelisk ,,9 ,,!     
,,g>d54  ,z ,i toil$ up ! hill :i* leads
 to ,putney ,hea?1 ,i met a small boy1 (
 :om ,i ask$ ! way to ,mr4 ,george      
,newnes's h\se4 ,to my a/oni%m5t he did 
n "k :]e x 04 ,i gaz$ at him m 9 sorr[  
?an 9 ang]4 ,:at6 n "k :]e ,tit-,bits   
lives6 a sm>t lad /&+ by ejaculat$1 z he
 po9t$ out to me ! "r direction 9 :i* to
 g4 ,george ,newnes6 'im wot writes     
,tit-,bits6 wy ,i ?\ght ev]yone kn[$    
w'ere 'ee liv$6 ,i ?ank$ him1 & w&]$ on 
half-a-mile or s until ,i rea*$ !       
beautiful h\se :i* ! writ] ( ,tit-,bits 
built = himself "s ye>s ago4 ,"h ,i 0   
receiv$ by ,mr4 ,george ,newnes ) a     
welcome :i* left no?+ to be desir$ 9 !  
way ( he>ty k9dness4 ,mr4 ,newnes is a  
man ( middle height1 v good-look+1 )    
auburn be>d1 & hair da%$ ) grey4 ,?\gh  
exce$+ly weal?y1 he is n1 z somebody has
 well express$ x1 bea/ly ri*4 ,no feel+ 
( ! oppression ( newly-acquir$ weal?    
flood$ my s\l z ,i walk$ ab\t ! pretty  

h\se & gr\nds 9 8 company4 ,he & 8      
surr\nd+s h ! good ta/e n to obtrude    
!mselves ^u ! casual visitor4 ,! man is 
simplicity itself1 & ! mo/ g5ial &      
cordial ( ho/s4 ,i ?or\ghly enjoy$ my   
visit1 nor 0 x )\t inf9ite int]e/1 =    
,george ,newnes is a companion always   
amus+1 & ) always some?+ new & orig9al  
to say4 ,z we w&]$ ?r\gh ! beautiful    
gr\nds1 "s ( :i* are reclaim$ f ! wild  
hea? :i* /ret*es = miles r\nd ! h\se1 he
 po9t$ out to me ! curi\s obelisk1 grey 
& "t-worn1 :i* /ill p]petuates ! memory 
( ! hi/oric mansion once kn[n z         
,firepro(4 ,= x 0 "h t ,george ,,iii4 & 
,que5 ,*>lotte once breakfa/$ 9 peace 9 
! draw+ room up/airs1 :il/ ! d9+-room   
bel[ 0 purposely ignit$ to prove t !    
h\se 0 really firepro(4 ,^u "o side ( ! 
h\se /& ! /ables1 j beyond !m a         
beautiful cov]$ lawn-t5nis c\rt light$  
by electricity & heat$ ) hot wat]1 9 :i*
 play c g on by night z well z by day1 9
 w9t] j z mu* z 9 summ]4 ,we miss ?is   
t5nis c\rt dreadfully :5 we are 9       

,devon%ire1 said ,mr4 ,newnes1 z we     
quitt$ ! beautiful hall = ! h\se4 ,i am 
myself devot$ to t5nis & golf+1 &1      
inde$1 ,i sometimes ?9k x is t t has    
help$ me to get ?r\gh s mu* "w4 ,good   
play]s g5]ally make good work]s1 he     
add$1 ) a laugh4 ,n[ w y come & jo9 our 
p>ty at lun*eon8 & z he spoke he l$ !   
way into a h&some d9+-room4 ,at lun*eon 
! conv]sation dealt *iefly ) sport &    
games1 to my own great relief be x add$1
 = ! dwell] 9 ! t5ts ( ! lit]>y _w he>s 
b little ( ! ord9>y topics (            
conv]sation1 & becomes suffocat$1 if he 
be n to ! mann] born1 ) ! nauseat+ cant 
& self-suffici5cy :i* is s typical ( !  
lit]>y _w ( to-day1 & m especially      
typical ( its y\ng] memb]s4 ,b at       
,george ,newnes's h\se y he> b little   
%op4 ,we discuss$ golf & its rapidly    
increas+ popul>ity1 ! newe/ s]ve at     
t5nis1 & "s ( ! mo/ rem>kable cricket   
scores made dur+ ! pa/ season4          
,illu/ration3 ,,mr4 ,,newnes4           
,illu/ration3 ,,mrs4 ,,newnes4          

,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,billi>d-,,room4  ,! 
ho/ jo9$ eag]ly 9 our talk until        
int]rupt$ by ! s]vant1 :o br\ght 9 a    
message4 ,quitt+ u = a mom5t1 he return$
 ) a smil+ apology1 & told me t 9 t     
brief space ( "t he _h transact$ a piece
 ( bus9ess :i* c]ta9ly 0 n )\t its      
int]e/4 ,a g5tleman1 x appe>$--! son ( a
 celebrat$ litt]ateur ( a pa/ day--_h   
call$ to %[ "s beautiful draw+s by !    
celebrat$ ,dicky ,doyle1 a relation (   
,dr4 ,conan ,doyle4 ,) ,mr4 ,newnes--& x
 is ?or\ghly *>act]i/ic ( ! man--to     
close ) a good b>ga9 is b ! "w ( a      
mom5t1 & !re=e ,i 0 n surpris$1 z he    
plac$ ! da9ty pictures be=e me1 to le>n 
t he _h pur*as$ !m = reproduction 9 8   
_w-fam$ magaz9e4 ,aft] lun*eon1 ,mr4    
,newnes sugge/$ t we %\ld retire to 8   
billi>d-room1 to rea* :i* we _h to pass 
?r\gh 8 own special sanctum 9 :i* he    
dictates 8 lett]s1 c41 to 8 private     
secret>y--en]getic ,mr4 ,william ,plank1
 :o has be5 ) him = five h>d work+      
ye>s--:ile he walks up & d[n ! room4 ,i 

c always ?9k bett] :il/ ,i walk1 he     
expla9$ to me2 inde$1 ,i h rec5tly _h ! 
/udy l5g!n$ to give me m room4 ,by ?is  
"t we 7 9 ! billi>d-room1 :]e9 /&s a    
l>ge ,engli% organ ) upw>ds ( f\r hundr$
 pipes4 ,& 9 ?is room1 pr[l+ r\nd & r\nd
 ! billi>d-table l a c\ple ( wild       
bea/s--= ,i also1 l my ho/1 ?9k be/ ^u  
my legs--& occasionally cannon+ up aga9/
 "o ano!r & recoil+ ) a laugh & a />t1  
,george ,newnes told me ! hi/ory ( 8    
int]e/+ & successful life4              
,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,conception ,,(      
,,tit-,,bits4  ,my fa!r1 he began1 01 at
 ! "t ( my bir?1 ! m9i/] ( ,gl5or*y     
,*apel1 ,matlock ,ba?4 ,he 0 a v able   
man1 & ! be/ in=m$ man y c\ld meet4 ,he 
kept me at s*ool till ,i 0 ab\t sixte54 
,i f9i%$ up at ! ,city ( ,london ,s*ool1
 &1 curi\sly en\gh1 ,i am go+ to-night  
to reply = ! ,h\se ( ,commons at a      
banquet giv5 by ! ,john ,c>p5t] ,club 9 
hon\r ( ! ,home ,secret>y1 :o 0 a ,city 
( ,london ,s*ool boy4 ,my fa!r put me   
into a h\se ( bus9ess 9 ! ,city1 at :i* 

,i rema9$ = a numb] ( ye>s1 & !n ,i w5t 
d[n to ,lanca%ire to op5 up a bran* ( ! 
bus9ess !re4 ,i settl$ 9 ,man*e/] &     
m>ri$1 !re4 ,"o night1 9 #ahhj1 :5 ,i 0 
sitt+ at home read+ ! ,man*e/] ,ev5+    
,news--&1 by ! way1 x has nev] occurr$  
to me be=e1 add$ ,mr4 ,newnes1 z a sudd5
 ?\ght fla%$ into 8 m9d1 ! v p :o pr9t$ 
t pap] 7 ! same p :o aft]w>ds pr9t$     
,tit-,bits = t5 ye>s--,i came across a  
/ory1 or "s int]e/+ acc\nt1 :i* v mu*   
pleas$ me4 ,i read x to my wife & said1 
',!re1 t's :at ,i call a real tit-bit4  
,?is pap]1 b = x1 is to-day decid$ly    
dull1 because !re is absolutely no news 
to put 9 x4 ,n[1 :y _c a pap] be br\ght 
out :i* %\ld conta9 no?+ b tit-bits     
simil> to ?is8'  ,& t really1 said ,i1  
mu* int]e/$1 z ,mr4 ,george ,newnes     
paus$ = a mom5t 9 8 j\rney r\nd !       
billi>d-table1 & gaz$ abs5tly at me :ile
 ,i lit a cig> & ?rew myself into an    
arm*air1 & t really is h[ ,tit-,bits    
came to be fir/ ?\ght (8  ,illu/ration3 
,,! ,,/udy4  ,yes1 he repli$1 z he />t$ 

(f once m1 & ,i rose to foll[ 9 8 track1
 t 0 ! fir/ idea ( my little gre5 pap]4 
,b ,i 0 a :ole ye> be=e ,i 0 able to    
c>ry x out4 ,i 0 v busy 9 o!r matt]s1 & 
_h n mu* "t to att5d to x4 ,b ,i nev]   
lo/ sight ( ! idea1 & ev] & anon ! ^w   
'tit-bits' w\ld come to me ) ! =ce ( a  
w>n+ dream4 ,i work$ cont9ually at !    
idea 9 my m9d1 & all my leisure ?\ghts 7
 giv5 up to x4 ,9 fact1 ,i 0 con/antly  
afraid--s conv9c$ 0 ,i t ! idea 0 a good
 "o--t someone w\ld br+ x out be=e ,i   
c\ld d s1 & e ,saturday morn+1 ! usual  
day = new weekly pap]s1 ,i us$ to look  
almo/ ) pa9ful anxiety to see :e!r !re 0
 a plac>d ann\nc+ t su* a pap] _h       
appe>$4 ,b1 h[ev]1 no?+ ( ! sort 0      
br\ght out4 ,! m ,i ?\ght ( x ! m       
enam\r$ ,i became ( ! idea1 till1 9     
,octob]1 #ahha1 ! fir/ numb] appe>$4 ,& 
z he spoke ,mr4 ,newnes h&$ me ! v fir/ 
numb] ( ! n[ celebrat$ pap]4 ,z soon z x
 0 fairly />t$1 cont9u$ my ho/1 ,i gave 
up my o!r bus9ess & devot$ myself to !  
edit+ & publi%+ ( ! pap]4 ,at fir/1 !   

*ief pieces 9 x 7 select$ f books &     
p]iodicals--any s\rces1 9 %ort1 t 7 n   
copyright4 ,i w\ld get an anecdote f "o 
book1 & some?+ else f ano!r1 any?+      
int]e/+1 9 fact1 f :]ev] ,i c\ld pick x 
up2 ( c\rse1 n[ we h a l>ge li/ (       
orig9al contributors1 b at fir/ t 0 !   
way 9 :i* x 0 compil$4 ,9 ! e>ly days1  
naturally en\gh1 its circulation 0      
conf9$ *iefly to ,man*e/]4 ,!re x simply
 'caught on' imm$iately1 & sold l       
wildfire4 ,:y1 ! newspap] boys' brigade1
 cont9u$ ,mr4 ,newnes1 n[ fairly excit$ 
at ! memory ( t ev5tful ,saturday morn+1
 sold some?+ l #e1jjj copies 9 two h\rs 
( ! fir/ numb] 9 ,man*e/] alone4 ,!y    
came ru%+ back to ! (fice1 :]e ,i sat   
anxi\sly await+ _! news1 full ( !       
wond]ful result4 ,tit-,bits 0 !n1 ,i    
felt c]ta91 an assur$ success1 & !      
public us$ to write to me to tell me (  
its popul>ity4 ,i receive lett]s to ?is 
day1 & especially f m9i/]s & cl]gym51 :o
 write to say t !y recomm5d x because ( 
! in=mation x conta9s1 & its in/ructive 

"*1 &1 above all1 because ( ! purity (  
its cont5ts4 ,yet !re are "s cl]gym5 :o 
?9k !re is "s d\ble ent5dre 9 ! title   
,tit-,bits1 & f its title t x is        
probably a pap] !y ought to speak aga9/2
 & (t51 solely on acc\nt ( its title1 ,i
 believe !y bracket x ) all k9ds ( o!r  
lit]ature ( a l[-class type1 & 9 ?is way
 ,i suff] f ! "n4  ,illu/ration3 ,,!    
,,bir? ,,( ,,tit-,,bits4  ,& h[ 0 x y   
came to inaugurate y\r sy/em ( insurance
 aga9/ railway accid5ts8 ,i ask$ ,mr4   
,newnes1 aft] a brief discussion on !   
ridicul\s & n>r[-m9d$ behavi\r ( ^!     
wor?y cl]ics4 ,x 0 9 ?is way1 he repli$1
 z he br\ght himself to an an*or aga9/ !
 billi>d-table1 :]e he re/$ = a brief   
mom5t4 ,x 0 9 ?is way3 ,a woman wrote to
 me say+ t h] husb& _h be5 kill$ on !   
railway1 & z he _h a copy ( ,tit-,bits  
^u him at ! "t1 %e ask$ :e!r ,i w\ld    
make h] "s all[ance ( money4 ,at once ! 
idea ( an insurance sy/em occurr$ to me1
 & y "k n[ h[ widespread ?is sy/em has  
become4  ,i smil$ z ,i not$ h[ 9 ea*    

case 8 wond]ful successes are ow+ n m to
 ! fla% ( a /rik+ idea ?an to ! wond]ful
 promptitude :i* foll[s on ! ?\ght2 h[  
rem>kable an in/ance 8 :ole c>e] af=ds (
 ! b5efit & wisdom ( /rik+ :ile ! iron  
is hot4  ,& !n aft] ,tit-,bits came !   
,review ( ,reviews1 ,i suppose8 ,i      
qu]i$1 z my ho/ jott$ d[n "s notes 9 8  
pocket-book4  ,illu/ration3 ,,heske?    
,,h\se1 ,,torquay4  ,yes1 he repli$1 z  
he once m took ! floor4 ,t 0 "o ( !     
quicke/ arrang$ ?+s ,i h ev] he>d (4 ,x 
0 all done 9 a mon?4 ,i 0 /ay+ d[n at   
,torquay1 :]e ,i h a h\se = ! w9t]1 &   
,mr4 ,/ead wrote to me to say he        
contemplat$ leav+ ! ,pall ,mall         
,gazette1 & w\ld l to be associat$ ) me 
9 "s j\rnali/ic s*eme4 ,he s5t          
descriptions ( ?ree :i* 7 pass+ ?r\gh 8 
m9d1 ask+ if ,i w\ld c>e to take ei!r ( 
!m into consid]ation4 ,i repli$ by      
return1 say+ t ,i did n c>e = two ( !m  
mu*1 b t ,i 0 delight$ ) ! ?ird4 ,i !n &
 !re told him ! t]ms ^u :i* ,i w\ld "w )
 him4 ,he wrote back1 say+ t he w\ld    

accept !m1 & ,i came to ,london ! foll[+
 week1 9 ord] t ,i might make           
arrangem5ts1 & 9 ?irty days f ! fir/    
proposal ( ! idea1 ! ,review ( ,reviews 
0 publi%$4 ,at fir/ x 0 decid$ to call x
 ,! ,sixp5ny ,mon?ly1 ) a sub-title1 ,a 
,review ( ! ,reviews2 z su*1 inde$1 x   
appe>$ ^u ! cov] till ! day be=e go+ to 
press1 :i* 0 a ,sunday4 ,i 0 s conv9c$ t
 ! title ought to be rev]s$1 & t x %\ld 
be ,! ,review ( ,reviews1 a ,sixp5ny    
,mon?ly1 t ,i w5t ov] & waylaid ,mr4    
,/ead z he 0 com+ ) 8 family out ( *ur*4
 ,i expla9$ my views to him1 & 9 a few  
m9utes he agre$ t ,i 0 "r1 & ! title 0  
alt]$ to t :i* has n[ become s famili>4 
,well1 :5 ! ,review ( ,reviews w5t out (
 my field ( vision1 ,i _h made c]ta9    
arrangem5ts ) p = publi%+ magaz9e "w1 & 
s on1 & ,i want$ some?+ to take its     
place4 ,!n came to me a v old & fav\rite
 idea ( m9e--! idea ( a magaz9e ) a     
picture on e page6 ,i engag$ ! s]vices (
 ,mr4 ,gre5h\gh ,smi?1 n[ my assi/ant   
editor on ! ,/r& ,magaz9e1 :o _h ! idea 

( l>gely produc+ translations f =eign   
au?ors1 & z soon z ! ,review ( ,reviews 
_h gone1 ,i 0 at "w on ! new v5ture4    
,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,draw+-,,room4  ,&1 )
 reg>d to its title1 ,mr4 ,newnes1 said 
,i1 y are great on titles1 are y n8 ,i  
atta* great importance to !m1 c]ta9ly1  
he vigor\sly repli$4 ,i ?or\ghly agree )
 ,%akespe>e t !re is mu* 9 a "n4 ,:y1   
inde$1 %\ld names be valueless8 ,!y are 
z great facts z any?+ else 9 !          
con/itutions ( humanity4 ,& 9 !         
j\rnali/ic _w a "n is half ! battle4 ,! 
,/r& 0 a good title1 x appe>$ to me1    
%ort1 & at ! same "t attractive4 ,aft]  
all1 x is ?r\gh ! ,/r& itself t ! tide (
 life fl[s fulle/ & /ronge/ & deepe/4 ,i
 felt t ) a good picture on ! cov] x    
w\ld sell well on ! book-/alls4 ,!      
picture 0 r difficult1 & mu* dep5d$ on t
 picture4 ,at fir/ ,i did n succe$ 9    
gett+ ! arti/ to embody my idea ( a     
picture ( a /reet4 ,n[ ,i _h "h at home 
an oil pa9t+ :i* ,i ?\ght w\ld help him4
 ,& z he spoke1 ,mr4 ,newnes l$ me to ! 

/aircase & %[$ me a v *>m+ p]spective ( 
"s /reet 9 an ,engli% t[n4 ,i %[$ ,mr4  
,haite ?is picture1 he cont9u$1 & ,i    
ask$ him if he c\ld d a simil>          
p]spective ( ! ,/r&4  ,illu/ration3 ,i  
,,"w ,,v ,,quickly4  ,! ,picture        
,magaz9e1 :i* />t$ ) ?is ye>1 is likely 
to be ne>ly z successful z ,! ,/r&4     
,aft] we _h discuss$ ! position & !     
prospects ( ! new pap] :i* ,mr4 ,newnes 
has />t$ to fill ! place 9 ! ,radical   
j\rnali/ic ranks ( ! ,p4,m4,g41 we      
drift$ into a g5]al conv]sation on 8    
habits ( life1 8 occupations1 & ! v>i$  
qualities :i* g to ! mak+ ( a successful
 bus9ess man1 ! future ( popul>         
j\rnalism1 & ! l4 ,h[ d y manage to keep
 all y\r irons hot8 ,i ask$ my ho/2 y   
edit ?ree pap]s1 y are a memb] (        
,p>liam5t1 y build railways up ! cliffs 
( popul> wat]+-places1 y play games1 y d
 ev]y?+4 ,h[ is x all done1 pray1 ,mr4  
,newnes8 ,:at is ! secret ( y\r life8   
,well1 he sl[ly repli$1 & ) a c]ta9 %y  
hesitation1 = ?\gh prompt & en]getic    

en\gh 9 actual bus9ess1 no m mode/ man1 
or "o m reluctant to speak ( himself & 8
 do+s walks ?is e>?--well1 ?\gh ,i don't
 want to boa/ ab\t x1 yet ! simple fact 
is1 ,i "w v quickly1 & ,i get ?r\gh my  
bus9ess mu* fa/] ?an mo/ m5 d4 ,i make  
up my m9d1 =m my plans1 & arrive at     
conclusions v rapidly4 ,) reg>d to my   
editorial "w1 = in/ance1 all 'copy' = ! 
pap]s is sift$ = me at ! (fice1 !n x is 
s5t up "h1 :]e ,i "w ?ree days a week1  
select+ t :i* ,i ?9k %all g 91 & m>k+ x 
= press4 ,i dictate ! ',answ]s to       
,correspond5ts' page to my private      
secret>y4 ,?is page always takes up ?ree
 h\rs a week4 ,i get ?r\gh my editorial1
 p>liam5t>y & bus9ess "w1 & manage to   
get a good deal ( leisure besides4      
,golf1 t5nis & *ess take up my leisure4 
,:5 ,i am 9 ! c\ntry ,i h all my "w s5t 
!re4 ,! fact is1 ,i "w h>d & ,i play    
h>d1 & ,i believe ea* is equally        
necess>y = good heal? & real happ9ess4  
,curi\sly en\gh1 ,i d n believe t       
naturally ,i am ( a v sy/ematic nature1 

b s mu* bus9ess =ces me to be s4        
,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,t5nis ,,c\rt4  ,& z 
to ! future ( j\rnalism g5]ally1 & ( su*
 pap]s z y\rs 9 p>ticul>1 ,mr4 ,newnes8 
,i qu]i$4 ,) ! spread ( education & !   
increase ( ,bo>d ,s*ools1 !re is a great
 *ange com+ ov] ! masses1 is !re n8 ,i  
?9k ?is1 he repli$1 t _m ( ! pap]s ( !  
day are develop+ too mu* ! gambl+ &     
lott]y _s1 :i* ,i reg>d z a v evil "o1 &
 w\ld n = a mom5t c\nt5ance4 ,i ?9k1 z y
 say1 t ! ,bo>d ,s*ools h imm5sely      
increas$ ! numb] ( buy]s ( pap]s ( ?is  
k9d1 & x is a great s\rce ( satisfaction
 to me t ,i %\ld h inaugurat$ a popul>  
pap] :i* %\ld be tak5 l>gely by !       
masses1 & :i* is absolutely pure4 ,:5 ,i
 came out ) ,tit-,bits !re 0 n a s+le   
popul> pap] conta9+ fun or jokes or     
any?+ ( ! k9d--except ! illu/rat$       
ones--b :at reli$ m or less ^u pruri5t  
matt] to tickle ! fancies ( pruri5t     
m9ds4 ,besides1 my idea is t1 j at      
pres5t1 ! ,bo>d ,s*ools t5d to a c]ta9  
h>dness & n>r[ness ( "*1 :i* is p]haps  

s(t5$ d[n by ! developm5t by ^! pap]s ( 
! light] side ( human nature4           
,tit-,bits1 ,i h reason to "k1 has 9 _m 
cases induc$ ! /udy ( "s sci5ce or      
lit]ature on ! "p ( a man or boy :o has 
read "s int]e/+ 'tit-bit' on "o ( ^!    
subjects1 & has desir$1 naturally en\gh1
 to "k m ab\t x4  ,illu/ration3 ,,!     
,,cons]vatory4  ,w x ev] be possible1   
,mr4 ,newnes1 d y ?9k1 to provide !     
masses ) ! high] j\rnalism1 ) a sort (  
,saturday ,review1 or ,n9ete5? ,c5tury8 
,i ask$4 ,i don't ?9k1 he sl[ly repli$1 
%ak+ 8 head1 ,i don't ?9k1 ,radical z ,i
 am1 & absolute believ] 9 ! sov]eignty (
 ! p1 t ! masses w ev] take to any pap] 
:i* consi/s ma9ly ( essays or lead]s4   
,!y want ?+s s]v$ up ) o!r int]e/+      
matt]1 & ) z mu* ( ! p]sonal elem5t z x 
is possible to give !m4 ,! masses /ill  
incl9e entirely to ! light] side (      
lit]ature4 ,!y "w h>d en\gh 9 ev]yday   
life1 _! recreation & _! lit]ature mu/1 
!re=e1 be z light z possible4           
,illu/ration3 ,,9 ,,! ,,billi>d-,,room4 

,& n[1 ,mr4 ,newnes1 = "o m "q--a good  
long "o1 ,i laugh+ly add$4 ,hav+ all y\r
 life be5 s successful y\rself1 z y look
 r\nd ,london1 ) ! /ruggle = exi/5ce1 & 
! m+l+ ( classes :i* makes t /ruggle =  
exi/5ce /ill h>d]1 h[ d y really acc\nt 
= y\r own wond]ful success1 & h[ w\ld y 
recomm5d o!rs to be successful too1 ev5 
?\gh only 9 a small way8 ,i really don't
 "k h[ ,i c answ] t "q1 he repli$4 ,!   
only ?+ is1 ,i h always be5 /ruck ) !   
fact t s _m p g ab\t ) _! eyes %ut1 & d 
n see ! *ances :i* may be be=e !m4 ,!y h
 no idea ( do+ any?+ beyond :at !y may h
 se5 done be=e1 & :at !y are told to d4 
,!y are fright5$ by orig9ality le/ x    
might be disa/r\s4 ,i suppose ,i h be5  
incl9$ to d ?+s diff]5tly r ?an ! same z
 o!r p1 & ,i h always /ruck :ile ! iron 
0 hot4 ,t1 ,i ?9k1 to put x v briefly1  
is ! secret ( any success :i* has att5d$
 my ef=ts4     ,novel ,notes4  ,,by     
,,j]ome ,k4 ,,j]ome4  ,,illu/rations    
,,by ,,hal ,,hur/ ,,& ,j4 ,,guli*4      
-----  ,,"p ,,xi4   ,illu/ration3       

,,light+ ,,8 ,,pipe4  ,said ,br[n "o    
ev5+1 ,!re is b "o vice1 & t is         
selfi%ness4 ,selfi%ness is ! se$ ( all  
s94  ,jephson 0 /&+ be=e ! fire light+ 8
 pipe4 ,he puff$ ! tobacco into a gl[1  
?rew ! mat* into ! emb]s1 & !n said3  ,&
 ! se$ ( all virtue1 also4 ,don't let u 
=get t4  ,sit d[n & get on ) y\r "w1    
said ,mac,shaugnassy f ! s(a :]e he lay 
at full l5g? ) 8 heels on a *air2 we're 
discuss+ ! novel1 ,p>adoxes n admitt$   
dur+ bus9ess h\rs4  ,jephson1 h[ev]1 0 9
 an argum5tative mood4 ,selfi%ness1 he  
cont9u$1 is m]ely ano!r "n = ,w4 ,e de$1
 good or bad1 t we d is prompt$ by      
selfi%ness4 ,we are *>itable to secure  
ourselves a good place 9 ! next _w1 to  
make ourselves respect$ 9 ?is1 to ease  
our own di/ress at ! k ( suff]+4 ,"o man
 is k9d because x gives him pleasure to 
be k9d1 j z ano!r is cruel because      
cruelty pleases him4 ,a great man does 8
 duty because to him ! s5se ( duty done 
is a deep] delight ?an w\ld be ! ease   
result+ f avoidance ( duty4 ,! religi\s 

man is religi\s because he f9ds a joy 9 
religion2 ! moral man moral because ) 8 
/rong self-respect1 vici\sness w\ld mean
 wret*$ness4 ,self-sacrifice itself is  
only a subtle selfi%ness3 we pref] !    
m5tal exaltation ga9$ !reby to ! s5sual 
gratification :i* is ! alt]native rew>d4
 ,man _c be any?+ else b selfi%4        
,selfi%ness is ! law ( all life4 ,ea*   
?+1 f ! f>!/ fix$ /> to ! smalle/ insect
 crawl+ on ! e>?1 fight+ = itself       
accord+ to its /r5g?2 & brood+ ov] all1 
! ,et]nal1 work+ = ,himself3 t is !     
univ]se4  7,copyright$ #ahib 9 ! ,unit$ 
,/ates ( ,am]ica1 by ,j]ome ,k4 ,j]ome47
  ,h "s :iskey1 said ,mac,shaugnassy2 & 
don't be s complicat$ly metaphysical4 ,y
 make my head a*e4  ,if all action1 good
 & bad1 spr+ f selfi%ness1 repli$ ,br[n2
 !n !re mu/ be good selfi%ness & bad    
selfi%ness2 & y\r bad selfi%ness is my  
pla9 selfi%ness1 )\t any adjective1 s we
 are back :]e we />t$4 ,i say           
selfi%ness--bad selfi%ness--is ! root ( 
all evil1 & !re y are b\nd to agree )   

me4  ,n always1 p]si/$ ,jephson2 ,i've  
kn[n selfi%ness--selfi%ness accord+ to !
 ord9>ily accept$ mean+ ( ! t]m--to be  
productive ( good actions4 ,i c give y  
an in/ance1 if y l4  ,has x got a moral8
 ask$ ,mac,shaugnassy1 dr[sily4         
,jephson mus$ a mom5t4 ,yes1 he at l5g? 
said2 a v practical moral--& "o v useful
 to "y m54  ,t's ! sort ( /ory we want1 
said ,mac,shaugnassy1 rais+ himself into
 a sitt+ position4 ,y li/5 to ?is1      
,br[n4  ,jephson seat$ himself ^u a     
*air1 9 8 fav\rite attitude1 ) 8 elb[s  
re/+ ^u ! back1 & smok$ = a:ile 9       
sil5ce4  ,!re are ?ree p 9 ?is /ory1 he 
began2 ! wife1 ! wife's husb&1 & ! o!r  
man4 ,9 mo/ dramas ( ?is type1 x is !   
wife :o is ! *ief "*4 ,9 ?is case1 !    
int]e/+ p]son is ! o!r man4  ,! wife--,i
 saw h] once3 %e 0 ! mo/ beautiful woman
 ,i h ev] se51 & ! mo/ wick$-look+2 :i* 
is say+ a good deal = bo? /atem5ts4 ,i  
rememb]1 dur+ a walk+ t\r "o ye>1 com+  
across a lovely little cottage4 ,x 0 !  
sweete/ place imag9able4 ,i ne$ n       

describe x4 ,x 0 ! cottage "o sees 9    
pictures1 & reads ( 9 s5tim5tal poetry4 
,i 0 lean+ ov] ! neatly-cropp$ h$ge1    
dr9k+ 9 its beauty1 :5 at "o ( ! t9y    
casem5ts ,i saw1 look+ out at me1 a     
face4 ,x /ay$ !re only = a mom5t1 b 9 t 
mom5t ! cottage _h become ugly1 & ,i    
hurri$ away ) a %udd]4  ,t woman's face 
rem9d$ me ( ! incid5t4 ,x 0 an angel's  
face1 until ! woman h]self look$ out (  
x3 !n y 7 /ruck by ! /range incongruity 
betwe5 t5em5t & t5ant4  ,t at "o "t %e  
_h lov$ h] husb&1 ,i h little d\bt4     
,vici\s wom5 h few vices1 & sordidness  
is n usually "o ( !m4 ,%e _h probably   
m>ri$ him1 borne t[>ds him by "o ( ^?   
waves ( passion ^u :i* ! s\ls ( animal  
natures are cont9ually ris+ & fall+4 ,on
 possession1 h[ev]1 _h quickly foll[$   
satiety1 & f satiety _h gr[n ! desire = 
a new s5sation4  ,!y 7 liv+ at ,cairo at
 ! p]iod2 h] husb& held an important    
(ficial position !re1 & by virtue ( ?is1
 & ( h] own beauty & tact1 h] h\se soon 
became ! c5tre ( ! ,anglo-,saxon society

 ev] drift+ 9 & out ( ! city4 ,! wom5   
dislik$ h]1 & copi$ h]4 ,! m5 spoke     
slight+ly ( h] to _! wives1 lightly ( h]
 to ea* o!r1 & made idiots ( !mselves :5
 !y 7 alone ) h]4 ,%e laugh$ at !m to _!
 faces1 & mimick$ !m beh9d _! backs4 ,_!
 fri5ds said x 0 clev]ly4  ,illu/ration3
 ,,%e ,,laugh$ ,,at ,,!m4  ,"o ye> !re  
arriv$ a "y ,engli% eng9e]1 :o _h come  
out to sup]9t5d "s canal works4 ,he     
br\ght ) him satisfactory lett]s (      
recomm5dation1 & 0 at once receiv$ by ! 
,european resid5ts z a welcome addition 
to _! social circle4 ,he 0 n p>ticul>ly 
good-look+1 he 0 n rem>kably *>m+1 b he 
possess$ ! "o ?+ t few wom5 c resi/ 9 a 
man1 & t is /r5g?4 ,! woman look$ at !  
man1 & ! man look$ back at ! woman2 & ! 
drama began4  ,sc&al flies swiftly ?r\gh
 small communities4 ,be=e a mon?1 _!    
relation%ip 0 ! *ief topic ( conv]sation
 ?r\gh\t ! qu>t]4 ,9 less ?an two1 x    
rea*$ ! e>s ( ! woman's husb&4  ,he 0   
ei!r an exceptionally mean or an        
exceptionally noble "*1 accord+ to h[ "o

 views ! matt]4 ,he wor%ipp$ 8 wife--z  
m5 ) big he>ts & weak bra9s (t5 d wor%ip
 su* wom5--) dog-l devotion4 ,8 only    
dread 0 le/ ! sc&al %\ld rea*           
proportions t w\ld compel him to take   
notice ( x1 & ?us br+ %ame & suff]+ ^u !
 woman he w\ld h giv5 8 life to4 ,t a   
man :o saw h] %\ld love h] seem$ natural
 to him2 t %e %\ld h gr[n tir$ (        
himself1 a ?+ n to be wond]$ at4 ,he 0  
grateful to h] = hav+ once lov$ him1 = a
 little :ile4  ,z = '! o!r man1' he     
prov$ some:at ( an enigma to ! gossips4 
,he attempt$ no secrecy2 if any?+1 he r 
p>ad$ 8 subjugation--or 8 conque/1 x 0  
difficult to decide :i* t]m to apply4   
,he rode & drove ) h]2 visit$ h] 9      
public & 9 private 79 su* privacy z c be
 hop$ = 9 a h\se fill$ ) *att]+ s]vants1
 & wat*$ by spy+ eyes72 load$ h] )      
exp5sive pres5ts1 :i* %e wore op5ly1 &  
pap]$ 8 smok+ d5 ) h] photographs4 ,yet 
he nev] all[$ himself to appe> 9 ! lea/ 
degree ridicul\s2 nev] all[$ h] to come 
betwe5 him & 8 "w4 ,a lett] f h]1 he    

w\ld lay aside unop5$ until he _h f9i%$ 
:at he evid5tly reg>d$ z m important    
bus9ess4 ,:5 b\doir & eng9e-%$ became   
rivals1 x 0 ! b\doir t _h to wait4  ,!  
woman *af$ "u 8 self-control1 :i* /ung  
h] l a la%1 b clung to him ! m abjectly4
  ',tell me y love me6' %e w\ld cry     
fi]cely1 /ret*+ h] :ite arms t[>ds him4 
',i h told y s1' he w\ld reply calmly1  
)\t mov+4  ',i want to he> y tell x me  
aga91' %e w\ld plead ) a voice t trembl$
 on a sob4 ',come close to me & tell x  
me aga91 aga91 aga96'  ,!n1 z %e lay )  
half-clos$ eyes1 he w\ld p\r =? a flood 
( passionate words suffici5t to satisfy 
ev5 h] ?ir/y e>s1 & aft]w>ds1 z ! gates 
clang$ beh9d him1 w\ld take up an       
eng9e]+ problem at ! exact po9t at :i*  
half-an-h\r be=e1 on h] entrance into ! 
room1 he _h tempor>ily dismiss$ x4  ,"o 
day1 a privileg$ fri5d put bluntly to   
him ?is "q3 ',are y play+ = love or     
vanity8'  ,to :i* ! man1 aft] long      
pond]+1 gave ?is reply3 '',pon my s\l1  
,jack1 ,i c\ldn't tell y4'  ,n[1 :5 a   

man is 9 love ) a woman :o _c make up h]
 m9d :e!r %e loves him or n1 we call !  
complication com$y2 :]e x is ! woman :o 
is 9 e>ne/ ! result is g5]ally trag$y4  
,!y cont9u$ to meet & to make love4 ,!y 
talk$--z p 9 _! position are prone to   
talk--( ! beautiful life !y w\ld lead if
 x only 7 n = ! ?+ t 02 ( ! e>?ly       
p>adise--or1 maybe1 'e>?y' w\ld be ! m  
suitable adjective--!y w\ld ea* create =
 ! o!r1 if only !y _h ! "r :i* !y       
hadn't4  ,illu/ration3 ,,%e ,,lay ,,)   
,,half-,,clos$ ,,eyes4  ,9 ?is "w (     
imag9ation ! man tru/$ *iefly to 8      
lit]>y faculties1 :i* 7 consid]able2 !  
woman to h] desires4 ,?us1 8 sc5es      
possess$ a grace & f9i% :i* h]s lack$1 b
 h] pictures 7 ! m vivid4 ,inde$1 s     
reali/ic did %e pa9t !m1 t to h]self !y 
seem$ realities1 wait+ = h]4 ,!n %e w\ld
 rise to g t[>ds !m only to /rike h]self
 aga9/ ! ?\ght ( ! ?+ t /ood betwe5     
h]self & !m4 ,at fir/ ! woman only hat$ 
! ?+1 b aft] a :ile !re came an ugly    
look ( hope into h] eyes4  ,! "t drew   

ne> = ! man to return to ,engl&4 ,!     
canal 0 complet$1 & a day appo9t$ = !   
lett+ 9 ( ! wat]4 ,! man det]m9$ to make
 ! ev5t ! occasion ( a social ga!r+4 ,he
 invit$ a l>ge numb] ( gue/s1 among :om 
7 ! woman & h] husb&1 to assi/ at !     
function4 ,aft]w>ds ! p>ty 7 to picnic  
at a pleasant wood$ spot "s ?ree-qu>t]s 
( a mile f ! fir/ lock4  ,! c]emony (   
flood+ 0 to be p]=m$ by ! woman1 h]     
husb&'s position entitl+ h] to ?is      
di/9ction4 ,betwe5 ! riv] & ! head ( !  
cutt+ _h be5 left a /rong bank ( e>?1   
pi]c$ "s di/ance d[n by a hole1 :i* hole
 0 kept clos$ by means ( a closely-fitt+
 /eel plate4 ,! woman drew ! lev]       
releas+ ?is plate1 & ! wat] ru%$ ?r\gh &
 began to press aga9/ ! lock gates4 ,:5 
x _h atta9$ a c]ta9 dep?1 ! sluices 7   
rais$ & ! wat] p\r$ d[n into ! deep bas9
 ( ! lock4  ,x 0 an exceptionally deep  
lock4 ,! p>ty ga!r$ r\nd & wat*$ ! wat] 
sl[ly ris+4 ,! woman look$ d[n1 &       
%udd]$2 ! man 0 /&+ by h] side4  ',h[   
deep x is1' %e said4  ',yes1' he repli$1

 'x holds ?irty feet ( wat]1 :5 full4'  
,! wat] crept up in* by in*4  ',:y don't
 y op5 ! gates1 & let x 9 quickly8' %e  
ask$4  ',x w\ld n d = x to come 9 too   
quickly1' he expla9$ to h]2 'we %all    
half fill ?is lock1 & !n op5 ! sluices  
at ! o!r end1 & s let ! wat] pass       
?r\gh4'  ,! woman look$ at ! smoo? /one 
walls & at ! iron-plat$ gates4  ',i     
wond] :at a man w\ld d1' %e said1 'if he
 fell 91 & !re 0 no "o ne> to help him4'
  ,! man laugh$4 ',i ?9k he w\ld /op    
!re1' he answ]$4 ',come1 ! o!rs are     
wait+ = u4'  ,he l+]$ a mom5t to give "s
 f9al in/ructions to ! workm54 ',y c    
foll[ on :5 y've made all "r1' he said1 
'& get some?+ to eat4 ,!re's no ne$ = m 
?an "o to /op4' ,!n !y jo9$ ! re/ ( !   
p>ty1 & saunt]$ on1 laugh+ & talk+1 to !
 picnic gr\nd4  ,aft] lun* ! p>ty broke 
up1 z is ! cu/om ( picnic p>ties1 & w&]$
 away 9 gr\ps & pairs4 ,! man1 ^: duty z
 ho/ _h hi!rto occupi$ all 8 att5tion1  
look$ = ! woman1 b %e 0 gone4  ,a fri5d 
/roll$ by1 ! same t _h put ! "q to him  

ab\t love & vanity4  ',h y qu>rell$8'   
ask$ ! fri5d4  ',no1' repli$ ! man4  ',i
 fanci$ y _h1' said ! o!r4 ',i met h] j 
n[ walk+ ) h] husb&1 ( all m5 9 ! _w1 & 
mak+ h]self q agreeable to him4'  ,!    
fri5d /roll$ on1 & ! man sat d[n on a   
fall5 tree1 & light$ a cig>4 ,he smok$ &
 ?\ght1 & ! cig> burnt out1 b he /ill   
sat ?9k+4  ,aft] a :ile he he>d a fa9t  
ru/l+ ( ! bran*es beh9d him & pe]+      
betwe5 ! int]lac+ leaves t hid him1 saw 
! cr\*+ figure ( ! woman creep+ ?r\gh ! 
wood4  ,8 lips 7 p>t$ to call h] "n1 :5 
%e turn$ h] li/5+ head 9 8 direction1 & 
8 eyes fell full ^u h] face4 ,some?+    
ab\t x1 he c\ld n h told :at1 /ruck him 
dumb1 & ! woman crept on4  ,illu/ration3
 ',,if ,a ,,man ,,fell ,,91 ,,& ,,!re   
,,0 ,,no ,,"o ,,ne> ,,to ,,help ,,him8' 
,gradually ! nebul\s ?\ghts float+ ?r\gh
 8 bra9 began to solidify into a        
tangible idea1 & ! man unconsci\sly />t$
 =w>d4 ,aft] walk+ a few /eps he broke  
into a run1 = ! idea _h gr[n cle>]4 ,x  
cont9u$ to gr[ /ill cle>] & cle>]1 & !  

man ran fa/] & fa/]1 until at la/ he    
f\nd himself rac+ madly t[>ds ! lock4 ,z
 he approa*$ x he look$ r\nd = ! wat*man
 :o ought to h be5 !re1 b ! man 0 gone f
 8 po/4 ,he %\t$1 b if any answ] 0      
return$1 x 0 dr[n$ by ! ro> ( ! ru%+    
wat]4  ,illu/ration3 ,,he ,,broke ,,into
 ,a ,,run4  ,he rea*$ ! edge & look$    
d[n4 ,fifte5 feet bel[ him 0 ! reality (
 ! dim vision t _h come to him a mile   
back 9 ! woods3 ! woman's husb& swimm+  
r\nd & r\nd l a rat 9 a pail4  ,! riv] 0
 fl[+ 9 & out ( ! lock at ! same rate1 s
 t ! level ( ! wat] rema9$ con/ant4 ,!  
fir/ ?+ ! man did 0 to close ! l[]      
sluices & !n op5 ^? 9 ! upp] gate to _! 
fulle/ ext5t4 ,! wat] in* by in* began  
to rise4  ',c y hold out8' he cri$4  ,! 
dr[n+ man turn$ to him a face already   
contort$ by ! agony ( exhau/ion1 &      
answ]$ ) a feeble ',no4'  ,he look$     
ar\nd = some?+ to ?r[ to ! man4 ,a plank
 _h la9 !re 9 ! morn+1 he rememb]$      
/umbl+ ov] x1 & compla9+ ( its hav+ be5 
left !re2 he curs$ himself n[ = 8 c>e4  

,a hut us$ by ! navvies to keep _! tools
 9 /ood ab\t two hundr$ y>ds away2      
p]haps x _h be5 tak5 !re1 p]haps !re he 
might ev5 f9d a rope4  ',j "o m9ute1 old
 fell[6' he %\t$ d[n1 '& ,i'll be back4'
  ,b ! old fell[ did n he> him4 ,!      
feeble /ruggles ceas$4 ,! face fell back
 ^u ! wat]1 ! eyes half clos$ z if )    
we>y indiff]5ce4 ,!re 0 no "t = him to d
 m ?an kick (f 8 rid+ boots & jump 9 &  
clut* ! unconsci\s figure z x sank4     
,d[n !re1 9 t wall$-9 trap1 he f\ght a  
long fight ) ,dea? = ! life t /ood      
betwe5 him & ! woman4 ,he 0 n an exp]t  
swimm]1 8 clo!s hamp]$ him1 he 0 already
 bl[n ) 8 long race1 ! burd5 9 8 arms   
dragg$ him d[n1 ! wat] rose sl[ly en\gh 
to make 8 torture fit = ,dante's hell4  
,illu/ration3 ,,he ,,f\ght ,a ,,long    
,,fight ,,) ,,dea?4  ,at fir/ he c\ld n 
und]/& :y ?is 0 s1 b 9 glanc+ d[n he saw
 to 8 horror t he _h n prop]ly clos$ !  
l[] sluices2 9 ea* "s eight or t5 in*es 
rema9$ op51 s t ! /ream 0 pass+ out     
ne>ly half z fa/ z x came 94 ,x w\ld be 

ano!r five & tw5ty m9utes be=e ! wat]   
w\ld be high en\gh = him to grasp ! top4
  ,he not$ :]e ! l9e ( wet _h rea*$ to  
on ! smoo? /one wall1 !n look$ aga9 aft]
 :at he ?\ght mu/ be a lapse ( t5       
m9utes1 & f\nd x _h ris5 half an in*1 if
 t4 ,once or twice he %\t$ = help1 b !  
ef=t tax$ sev]ely 8 already fail+ brea?1
 & 8 voice only came back to him 9 a    
hundr$ e*oes f 8 prison walls4  ,in* by 
in* ! l9e ( wet crept up1 b ! sp5d+ ( 8 
/r5g? w5t on m swiftly4 ,x seem$ to him 
z if 8 inside 7 be+ gripp$ & torn sl[ly 
out3 8 :ole body cri$ out to him to let 
x s9k & lie 9 re/ at ! bottom4  ,at l5g?
 8 unconsci\s burd5 op5$ its eyes & />$ 
at him /upidly1 !n clos$ !m aga9 ) a    
sigh2 a m9ute lat] op5$ !m once m &     
look$ long & h>d at him4  ',let me g1'  
he said1 'we %all bo? dr[n4 ,y c manage 
by y\rself4'  ,he made a feeble ef=t to 
release himself1 b ! o!r held him4      
',keep /ill1 y fool6' he hiss$2 'y're   
go+ to get out ( ?is ) me1 or ,i'm go+  
d[n ) y4'  ,s ! grim /ruggle w5t on 9   

sil5ce1 till ! man1 look+ up1 saw ! /one
 cop+ j a little way above 8 head1 made 
"o mad leap & caught x ) 8 f+]-tips1    
held on an in/ant1 !n fell back ) a     
'plump1' & sank2 came up & made ano!r   
da%1 help$ by ! impetus ( 8 rise1 caught
 ! cop+ firmly ?is "t ) ! :ole ( 8 f+]s1
 hung on till 8 eyes saw ! grass1 till  
!y 7 bo? able to scramble out ^u ! bank 
& lie !re1 _! brea/s press$ close aga9/ 
! gr\nd1 & _! h&s clut*+ ! e>?1 :ile !  
ov]fl[+ wat] swirl$ s(tly r\nd !m4      
,illu/ration3 ,,caught ,,x ,,) ,,8      
,,f+]-,,tips4  ,aft] a :ile1 !y rais$   
!mselves & look$ at "o ano!r4  ',tir+   
"w1 t sort ( ?+1' said ! o!r man1 ) a   
nod t[>ds ! lock4  ',yes1' answ]$ !     
husb&1 'bea/ly awkw>d n be+ a good      
swimm]4 ,h[ did y "k ,i _h fall5 98 ,y  
met my wife1 ,i suppose8'  ',yes1' said 
! o!r man4  ,! husb& sat />+ at a po9t 9
 ! horizon = "s m9utes4 ',d y "k :at ,i 
0 wond]+ ?is morn+8' said he4  ',no1'   
said ! o!r man4  ',:e!r ,i %\ld kill y  
or n4'  ',!y told me1' he cont9u$1 aft] 

a pause1 'a lot ( silly gossip :i* ,i 0 
cad en\gh to believe4 ,i "k n[ x wasn't 
true1 because--well1 if x _h be51 y w\ld
 n h done :at y h done4'  ,he rose &    
came across4 ',i beg y\r p>don1' he     
said1 hold+ out 8 h&4  ',i beg y\rs1'   
said ! o!r man1 ris+ & tak+ x2 'd y m9d 
giv+ me a h& ) ! sluices8'  ,!y set to  
"w to put ! lock "r4  ',h[ did y manage 
to fall 98' ask$ ! o!r man1 :o 0 rais+  
"o ( ! l[] sluices1 )\t look+ r\nd4  ,! 
husb& hesitat$1 z if he f\nd !          
explanation some:at difficult4 ',oh1' he
 answ]$ c>elessly1 '! wife & ,i 7 *aff+1
 & %e said %e'd (t5 se5 y jump x1 &'--he
 laugh$ a r =c$ laugh--'%e promis$ me   
a--a kiss if ,i cle>$ x4 ,x 0 a fooli%  
?+ to d4'  ',yes1 x 0 r1' said ! o!r    
man4  ,a few days aft]w>ds ! man & woman
 met at a reception4 ,he f\nd h] 9 a    
leafy corn] ( ! g>d5 talk+ to "s fri5ds4
 ,%e advanc$ to meet him1 hold+ out h]  
h&4 ',:at c ,i say m ?an ?ank y1' %e    
murmur$ 9 a l[ voice4  ,! o!rs mov$ away
 leav+ !m alone4 ',!y tell me y risk$   

y\r life to save 88' %e said4  ',yes1'  
he answ]$4  ,%e rais$ h] eyes to 81 !n  
/ruck him across ! face ) h] unglov$ h&4
  ,illu/ration3 ,,/ruck ,,him ,,across  
,,! ,,face4  ',y damn$ fool6' %e :isp]$4
  ,he seiz$ h] by h] :ite arms1 & =c$ h]
 back beh9d ! orange trees4 ',d y "k    
:y8' he said1 speak+ sl[ly & di/9ctly2  
'because ,i fe>$ t ) him dead y w\ld    
want me to m>ry y1 & t1 talk$ ab\t z we 
h be51 ,i might f9d x awkw>d to avoid   
do+ s2 because ,i fe>$ t )\t him to /&  
betwe5 u y might prove an annoyance to  
me--p]haps come betwe5 me & ! woman ,i  
love1 ! woman ,i am go+ back to4 ,n[ d y
 und]/&8'  ',yes1' :isp]$ ! woman1 & he 
left h]4  ,b !re are only two p1        
conclud$ ,jephson1 :o d n reg>d 8 sav+ (
 ! husb&'s life z a highly noble &      
unselfi% action1 & !y are ! man himself 
& ! woman4  ,we ?ank$ ,jephson = 8 /ory1
 & promis$ to pr(it by ! moral1 :5      
discov]$4 ,mean:ile1 ,mac,shaugnassy    
said t he knew a /ory deal+ ) ! same    
!me1 namely1 ! too close atta*m5t ( a   

woman to a /range man1 :i* really _h a  
moral1 :i* moral 03 don't h any?+ to d )
 inv5tions4  ,br[n1 :o _h pat5t$ a      
safety gun1 :i* he _h nev] yet f\nd a   
man plucky en\gh to let (f1 said x 0 a  
bad moral4 ,we agre$ to he> ! p>ticul>s1
 & judge = ourselves4  ,?is /ory1       
comm5c$ ,mac,shaugnassy1 comes f        
,furtwang51 a small t[n 9 ! ,black ,=e/4
 ,!re liv$ !re a v wond]ful old fell[   
nam$ ,ni*olaus ,geibel4 ,8 bus9ess 0 !  
mak+ ( me*anical toys1 at :i* "w he _h  
acquir$ an almo/ ,european reputation4  
,he made rabbits t w\ld em]ge f ! he>t (
 a cabbage1 flop _! e>s1 smoo? _!       
:isk]s1 & disappe> aga92 cats t w\ld wa%
 _! faces1 & mew s naturally t dogs w\ld
 mi/ake !m = real cats1 & fly at !m2    
dolls1 ) phonographs conceal$ )9 !m1 t  
w\ld raise _! hats & say1 ',good morn+2 
h[ d y d1' & "s t w\ld ev5 s+ a song4   
,illu/ration3 ,,he ,,_h ,,contriv$ ,a   
,,me*anical ,,donkey4  ,b he 0 some?+ m 
?an a m]e me*anic2 he 0 an arti/4 ,8 "w 
0 ) him a hobby1 almo/ a passion4 ,8 %op

 0 fill$ ) all mann] ( /range ?+s t nev]
 w\ld1 or c\ld1 be sold--?+s he _h made 
= ! pure love ( mak+ !m4 ,he _h contriv$
 a me*anical donkey t w\ld trot = two   
h\rs by means ( /or$ electricity1 &     
trot1 too1 mu* fa/] ?an ! live article1 
& ) less ne$ = ex]tion on ! "p ( !      
driv]2 a bird t w\ld %oot up into ! air1
 fly r\nd & r\nd 9 a circle1 & drop to  
e>? at ! exact spot f :]e x />t$2 a     
skeleton t1 support$ by an upright iron 
b>1 w\ld dance a hornpipe2 a life-size  
lady doll t c\ld play ! fiddle2 & a     
g5tleman ) a holl[ inside :o c\ld smoke 
a pipe & dr9k m lag] be] ?an any ?ree   
av]age ,g]man /ud5ts put toge!r1 :i* is 
say+ mu*4  ,inde$1 x 0 ! belief ( ! t[n 
t old ,geibel c\ld make a man capable ( 
do+ ev]y?+ t a respectable man ne$ want 
to d4 ,"o day he made a man :o did too  
mu*1 & x came ab\t 9 ?is way4  ,"y      
,doctor ,foll5 _h a baby1 & ! baby _h a 
bir?day4 ,its fir/ bir?day put ,doctor  
,foll5's h\sehold into some:at ( a      
flurry1 b on ! occasion ( its second    

bir?day1 ,mrs4 ,doctor ,foll5 gave a    
ball 9 hon\r ( ! ev5t4 ,old ,geibel & 8 
daught] ,olga 7 among ! gue/s4  ,dur+ ! 
aft]noon ( ! next day "s ?ree or f\r (  
,olga's bosom fri5ds1 :o _h also be5    
pres5t at ! ball1 dropp$ 9 to h a *at   
ab\t x4 ,!y naturally fell to discuss+ !
 m51 & to criticis+ _! danc+4 ,old      
,geibel 0 9 ! room1 b he appe>$ to be   
absorb$ 9 8 newspap]1 & ! girls took no 
notice ( him4  ',!re seem to be few] m5 
:o c dance at e ball y g to1' said "o ( 
! girls4  ',yes1 & don't ! ones :o c    
give !mselves airs1' said ano!r2 '!y    
make q a fav\r ( ask+ y4'  ',& h[       
/upidly !y talk1' add$ a ?ird4 ',!y     
always say exactly ! same ?+s3 ,h[ *>m+ 
y are look+ to-night4 ,d y (t5 g to     
,vi5na8 ,oh1 y %\ld1 x's delightful4    
,:at a *>m+ dress y h on4 ,:at a w>m day
 x has be54 ,d y l ,wagn]8 ,i d wi% !y'd
 ?9k ( some?+ new4'  ',oh1 ,i nev] m9d  
h[ !y talk1' said a f\r?4 ',if a man    
dances well he may be a fool = all ,i   
c>e4'  ',he g5]ally is1' slipp$ 9 a ?9  

girl1 r spitefully4  ',i g to a ball to 
dance1' cont9u$ ! previ\s speak]1 n     
notic+ ! int]ruption4 ',all ,i ask ( a  
p>tn] is t he %all hold me firmly1 take 
me r\nd /eadily1 & n get tir$ be=e ,i   
d4'  ',a clockwork figure w\ld be ! ?+ =
 y1' said ! girl :o _h int]rupt$4       
',bravo6' cri$ "o ( ! o!rs1 clapp+ h]   
h&s1 ':at a capital idea6'  ',:at's a   
capital idea8' !y ask$4  ',:y1 a        
clockwork danc]1 or1 bett] /ill1 "o t   
w\ld g by electricity & nev] run d[n4'  
,! girls took up ! idea ) en?usiasm4    
',oh1 :at a lovely p>tn] he w\ld make1' 
said "o2 'he w\ld nev] kick y1 or tread 
on y\r toes4'  ',or te> y\r dress1' said
 ano!r4  ',or get out ( /ep4'  ',or get 
giddy & lean on y4'  ',& he w\ld nev]   
want to mop 8 face ) 8 h&k]*ief4 ,i d   
hate to see a man d t aft] e dance4'    
',& w\ldn't want to sp5d ! :ole ev5+ 9 !
 supp] room4'  ',:y1 ) a phonograph     
inside him to gr9d out all ! /ock       
rem>ks1 y w\ld n be able to tell him f a
 real man1' said ! girl :o _h fir/      

sugge/$ ! idea4  ',oh1 yes1 y w\ld1'    
said ! ?9 girl1 'he w\ld be s mu* nic]4'
  ,old ,geibel _h laid d[n 8 pap]1 & 0  
li/5+ ) bo? 8 e>s4 ,on "o ( ! girls     
glanc+ 9 8 direction1 h[ev]1 he hurri$ly
 hid himself aga9 beh9d x4  ,aft] !     
girls 7 gone1 he w5t into 8 work%op1 :]e
 ,olga he>d him walk+ up & d[n1 & e n[ &
 !n *uckl+ to himself2 & t night he     
talk$ to h] a good deal ab\t danc+ &    
danc+ m5--ask$ :at !y usually said &    
did--:at dances 7 mo/ popul>--:at /eps 7
 gone ?r\gh1 ) _m o!r que/ions be>+ on !
 subject4  ,!n = a c\ple ( weeks he kept
 mu* to 8 factory1 & 0 v ?\ghtful &     
busy1 ?\gh prone at unexpect$ mom5ts to 
break into a quiet l[ laugh1 z if enjoy+
 a joke t nobody else knew (4           
,illu/ration3 ,,olga ,,%[+ ,,him ,,:at  
,,/eps ,,7 ,,gone ,,?r\gh4  ,a mon? lat]
 ano!r ball took place 9 ,furtwang54 ,on
 ?is occasion x 0 giv5 by old ,w5zel1 ! 
weal?y timb] m]*ant1 to celebrate 8     
niece's betro?al1 & ,geibel & 8 daught] 
7 aga9 among ! invit$4  ,:5 ! h\r arriv$

 to set out1 ,olga s\ght h] fa!r4 ,n    
f9d+ him 9 ! h\se1 %e tapp$ at ! door ( 
8 work%op4 ,he appe>$ 9 8 %irt-sleeves1 
look+ hot b radiant4  ',don't wait =    
me1' he said1 'y g on1 ,i'll foll[ y4   
,i've got some?+ to f9i%4'  ,z %e turn$ 
to obey he call$ aft] h]1 ',tell !m ,i'm
 go+ to br+ a "y man ) me--su* a nice "y
 man1 & an excell5t danc]4 ,all ! girls 
w l him4' ,!n he laugh$ & clos$ ! door4 
,h] fa!r g5]ally kept 8 do+s secret f   
ev]ybody1 b %e _h a pretty %rewd        
suspicion ( :at he _h be5 plann+1 & s1  
to a c]ta9 ext5t1 0 able to prep>e !    
gue/s = :at 0 com+4 ,anticipation ran   
high1 & ! arrival ( ! fam\s me*ani/ 0   
eag]ly await$4  ,at l5g? ! s\nd ( :eels 
0 he>d outside1 foll[$ by a great       
commotion 9 ! passage1 & old ,w5zel     
himself1 8 jolly face r$ ) excitem5t &  
suppress$ laught]1 bur/ into ! room &   
ann\nc$ 9 /5torian tones3  ',h]r        
,geibel--& a fri5d4'  ,h]r ,geibel & 8  
'fri5d' ent]$1 greet$ ) %\ts ( laught] &
 applause1 & advanc$ to ! c5tre ( !     

room4  ',all[ me1 ladies & g5tlem51'    
said ,h]r ,geibel1 'to introduce y to my
 fri5d1 ,lieut5ant ,fritz4 ,fritz1 my   
de> fell[1 b[ to ! ladies & g5tlem54'   
,geibel plac$ 8 h& enc\rag+ly on        
,fritz's %\ld]1 & ! lieut5ant b[$ l[1   
accompany+ ! action ) a h>% click+ noise
 9 8 ?roat1 unpleasantly sugge/ive ( a  
dea? rattle4 ,b t 0 only a detail4  ',he
 walks a little /iffly' 7old ,geibel    
took 8 arm & walk$ him =w>d a few /eps4 
,he c]ta9ly did walk /iffly71 'b !n1    
walk+ is n 8 =te4 ,he is ess5tially a   
danc+ man4 ,i h only be5 able to tea*   
him ! waltz z yet1 b at t he is         
faultless4 ,come1 :i* ( y ladies may ,i 
introduce him to z a p>tn]4 ,he keeps   
p]fect "t2 he nev] gets tir$2 he won't  
kick y or tread on y\r dress2 he w hold 
y z firmly z y l1 & g z quickly or z    
sl[ly z y please2 he nev] gets giddy2 & 
he is full ( conv]sation4 ,come1 speak  
up = y\rself1 my boy4'  ,! old g5tleman 
twi/$ "o ( ! buttons at ! back ( 8 coat1
 & imm$iately ,fritz op5$ 8 m\?1 & 9 ?9 

tones t appe>$ to proce$ f ! back ( 8   
head1 rem>k$ sudd5ly1 ',may ,i h !      
pleasure8' & !n %ut 8 m\? aga9 ) a snap4
  ,t ,lieut5ant ,fritz _h made a /rong  
impression on ! company 0 und\bt$1 yet  
none ( ! girls seem$ incl9$ to dance )  
him4 ,!y look$ askance at 8 wax5 face1 )
 its />+ eyes & fix$ smile1 & %udd]$4   
,at la/ old ,geibel came to ! girl :o _h
 conceiv$ ! idea4  ',x is y\r own       
sugge/ion1 c>ri$ out to ! lett]1' said  
,geibel1 'an electric danc]4 ,y owe x to
 ! g5tleman to give him a trial4'  ,%e 0
 a bright1 saucy little girl1 fond ( a  
frolic4 ,h] ho/ add$ 8 entreaties1 & %e 
cons5t$4  ,h]r ,geibel fix$ ! figure to 
h]4 ,its "r arm 0 screw$ r\nd h] wai/1 &
 held h] firmly2 its delicately-jo9t$   
left h& 0 made to fa/5 itself ^u h] "r4 
,! old toymak] %[$ h] h[ to regulate its
 spe$1 & h[ to /op x1 & release h]self4 
',x w take y r\nd 9 a complete circle1' 
he expla9$2 'be c>eful t no "o knocks   
aga9/ y1 & alt]s its c\rse4'            
,illu/ration3 ,,= ,a ,,c\ple ,,( ,,weeks

 ,,he ,,kept ,,to ,,8 ,,factory4  ,!    
music /ruck up4 ,old ,geibel put !      
curr5t 9 motion1 & ,annette & h] /range 
p>tn] began to dance4  ,= a :ile ev]yone
 /ood wat*+ !m4 ,! figure p]=m$ its     
purpose admirably4 ,keep+ p]fect "t &   
/ep1 & hold+ its little p>tn] tight     
clasp$ 9 an unyield+ embrace1 x revolv$ 
/eadily1 p\r+ =? at ! same "t a con/ant 
fl[ ( squeaky conv]sation1 brok5 by     
brief int]vals ( gr9d+ sil5ce4  ',h[    
*>m+ y are look+ to-night1' x rem>k$ 9  
its ?91 f>-away voice4 ',:at a lovely   
day x has be54 ,d y l danc+8 ,h[ well   
our /eps agree4 ,y w give me ano!r1     
won't y8 ,oh1 don't be s cruel4 ,:at a  
*>m+ g[n y h on4 ,isn't waltz+          
delightful8 ,i c\ld g on danc+ = ev]--) 
y4 ,h y _h supp]8'  ,z %e grew m famili>
 ) ! uncanny creature1 ! girl's         
n]v\sness wore (f1 & %e ent]$ into ! fun
 ( ! ?+4  ',oh1 he's j lovely1' %e cri$1
 laugh+1 ',i c\ld g on danc+ ) him all  
my life4'  ,c\ple aft] c\ple n[ jo9$ !m1
 & soon all ! danc]s 9 ! room 7 :irl+   

r\nd beh9d !m4 ,ni*olaus ,geibel /ood   
look+ on1 beam+ ) *ildi% delight at 8   
success4  ,illu/ration3 ,,my ,,fri5d1   
,,lieut5ant ,,fritz4  ,old ,w5zel       
approa*$ him1 & :isp]$ some?+ 9 8 e>4   
,geibel laugh$1 & nodd$1 & ! two work$  
_! way quietly t[>ds ! door4  ',?is is !
 "y p's h\se to-night1' said ,w5zel1 s  
soon z !y 7 outside2 'y & ,i w h a quiet
 pipe & a glass ( hock1 ov] 9 !         
c\nt+-h\se4'  ,mean:ile ! danc+ grew m  
fa/ & furi\s4 ,little ,annette loos5$ ! 
screw regulat+ h] p>tn]'s rate (        
progress1 & ! figure flew r\nd ) h]     
swift] & swift]4 ,c\ple aft] c\ple      
dropp$ out exhau/$1 b !y only w5t !     
fa/]1 till at l5g? !y rema9$ danc+      
alone4  ,madd] & madd] became ! waltz4  
,! music lagg$ beh9d3 ! musicians1      
unable to keep pace1 ceas$1 & sat />+4  
,! y\ng] gue/s applaud$1 b ! old] faces 
began to gr[ anxi\s4  ',hadn't y bett]  
/op1 de>1' said "o ( ! wom51 'y'll make 
y\rself s tir$4'  ,b ,annette did n     
answ]4  ',i believe %e's fa9t$1' cri$   

out a girl :o _h caught sight ( h] face 
z x 0 swept by4  ,"o ( ! m5 sprang =w>d 
& clut*$ at ! figure1 b its impetus ?rew
 him d[n on to ! floor1 :]e its         
/eel-cas$ feet laid b>e 8 *eek4 ,! ?+   
evid5tly did n int5d to "p ) its prize  
easily4  ,_h anyone reta9$ a cool head1 
! figure1 "o _c help ?9k+1 might easily 
h be5 /opp$4 ,two or ?ree m5 act+ 9     
conc]t might h lift$ x bodily (f !      
floor1 or h jamm$ x into a corn]4 ,b few
 human heads are capable ( rema9+ cool  
"u excitem5t4 ,^? :o are n pres5t ?9k h[
 /upid mu/ h be5 ^? :o 72 ^? :o are     
reflect aft]w>ds h[ simple x w\ld h be5 
to d ?is1 t1 or ! o!r1 if only !y _h    
?\ght ( x at ! "t4  ,! wom5 grew        
hy/]ical4 ,! m5 %\t$ contradictory      
directions to "o ano!r4 ,two ( !m made a
 bungl+ ru% at ! figure1 :i* _h ! result
 ( =c+ x out ( its orbit 9 ! c5tre ( !  
room1 & s5d+ x cra%+ aga9/ ! walls &    
furniture4 ,a /ream ( blood %[$ itself  
d[n ! girl's :ite frock1 & foll[$ h]    
along ! floor4 ,! affair 0 becom+       

horrible4 ,! wom5 ru%$ scream+ f ! room4
 ,! m5 foll[$ !m4  ,"o s5sible sugge/ion
 0 made3 ',f9d ,geibel--fet* ,geibel4'  
,no "o _h notic$ him leave ! room1 no "o
 knew :]e he 04 ,a p>ty w5t 9 se>* (    
him4 ,! o!rs1 too unn]v$ to g back into 
! ball-room1 cr[d$ outside ! door &     
li/5$4 ,!y c\ld he> ! /eady :ir ( !     
:eels ^u ! poli%$ floor z ! ?+ spun r\nd
 & r\nd2 ! dull ?ud z e n[ & aga9 x da%$
 itself & its burd5 aga9/ "s oppos+     
object & rico*et$ (f 9 a new direction4 
,& ev]la/+ly x talk$ 9 t ?9 gho/ly      
voice1 repeat+ ov] & ov] ! same =mula3  
',h[ *>m+ y are look+ to-night4 ,:at a  
lovely day x has be54 ,oh1 don't be s   
cruel4 ,i c\ld g on danc+ = ev]--) y4 ,h
 y _h supp]8'  ,( c\rse !y s\ght =      
,geibel ev]y:]e b :]e he 04 ,!y look$ 9 
e room 9 ! h\se1 !n !y ru%$ (f 9 a body 
to 8 own place1 & sp5t preci\s m9utes 9 
wak+ up 8 deaf old h\sekeep]4 ,at la/ x 
occurr$ to "o ( ! p>ty t ,w5zel 0 miss+ 
also1 & !n ! idea ( ! c\nt+-h\se across 
! y>d pres5t$ itself to !m1 & !re !y    

f\nd him4  ,he rose up1 v pale1 & foll[$
 !m2 & he & old ,w5zel =c$ _! way ?r\gh 
! cr[d ( gue/s ga!r$ outside1 & ent]$ ! 
room1 & lock$ ! door beh9d !m4  ,f )9   
!re came ! muffl$ s\nd ( l[ voices &    
quick /eps1 foll[$ by a confus$ scuffl+ 
noise1 !n sil5ce1 !n ! l[ voices aga94  
,aft] a "t ! door op5$1 & ^? ne> x      
press$ =w>d to ent]1 b old ,w5zel's     
broad %\ld]s b>r$ ! way4  ',i want y--& 
y1 ,bekl]1' he said1 address+ a c\ple ( 
! eld] m54 ,8 voice 0 calm1 b 8 face 0  
deadly :ite4 ',! re/ ( y1 please g--get 
! wom5 away z quickly z y c4'  ,f t day 
old ,ni*olaus ,geibel conf9$ himself to 
! mak+ ( me*anical rabbits & cats t mew$
 & wa%$ _! faces4         99       99   
99  ,we agre$ t ! moral (               
,mac,shaugnassy's /ory 0 a good "o4     
7,to be cont9u$47     ,on ,pilgrims & ! 
,pilgrim ,_s  by  ,a4 ,adams ,m>t94     
,illu/ration3     ,!n longe folk to g on
 pilgrimages1     ,& palm]s = to seeke  
/range /r&s     ,to f]ne hall[s c\? 9   
sundry l&s4   ,9 ! good old times1 :5 a 

man want$ a little *ange f ! bosom ( 8  
family--9 ^? days a some:at re/rict$    
bosom--he w5t on a crusade1 or a        
pilgrimage4  ,:at if he did sp5d 8 "t & 
sub/ance on t :i*1 f a worldly /&po9t1  
pr(it$ n--abs5t+ himself f home & fri5ds
 = p]iods ( "t l5g?y en\gh to af=d a    
mod]n wife good gr\nds = a divorce--0 x 
n all m]itori\s8 ,heav51 he fondly      
believ$1 w\ld m ?an pay 8 travell+      
exp5ses by a l>ge *eque to 8 cr$it on ! 
next _w1 :il/ he _h ! pleasure ( !      
j\rney 9 ?is3 an +5i\s me?od ( see+     
some?+ ( bo?6 ,& s he donn$ 8 pilgrim   
we$s1 & 8 cockle hat & %oon--z all good 
*ronicl]s tell u--& hi$ him (f to       
,cant]bury or ,cologne1 ,rome1          
,j]usalem1 or ,timbuctoo4 ,mrs4 ,pilgrim
 0 left at home to play pati5ce1 & to   
keep ! h\se & bairns4 ,%e 0 g5]ally a   
long-suff]+ creature1 b sometimes %e did
 get into mis*ief4 ,%e c\ld n always sp9
 y>n1 s %e occasionally v>i$ h] task by 
weav+ nets--traps = ! unw>y :o 0 n a    
pilgrim4  ,b if %e got into mis*ief1 %e 

paid ! p5alty2 my "l inv>iably cut (f h]
 head ) 8 scimit> :5 he return$ home--if
 %e wait$ = t--& !re 0 an end ( ! matt]4
 ,!re 0 no ,divorce ,c\rt 9 ! good old  
days1 & a woman's head did n c\nt = mu*4
 ,b ^! slight casualties nev] dim9i%$ ! 
ard\r ( ! pilgrim _s3 ! pilgrim increas$
 & multipli$1 & s\ght new %r9es z well z
 new wives4 ,to slightly v>y ! words ( !
 poet1 ,%r9e aft] %r9e 8 ris+ raptures  
fill4 ,b /ill he sighs--= %r9es are     
want+ /ill4 ,! law ( supply & dem&1     
h[ev]1 work$ z surely !n z n[2 & z      
pilgrims increas$ to v5]ate1 objects    
increas$ to be v5]at$4 ,!re is a good   
/ory told by ! ,arabs--x 0 giv5 by ,dr4 
,samuel ,jessup 9 "o ( 8 contributions  
to ,picturesque ,pale/9e "s ye>s ago--& 
x is an apt illu/ration ( ?is supply &  
dem& pr9ciple4  ,illu/ration3 ,,ran     
,,away ,,) ,,8 ,,ma/]',s ,,donkey4  ,!re
 0 a c]ta9 ,%eik-,mohamm$ :o1 once ^u a 
"t1 0 ! keep] ( a wely or %r9e1 suppos$ 
by ! fai?ful to be ! tomb ( an em95t    
,sa9t1 & s l>gely frequ5t$ by !m t !    

,%eik grew ri* f _! co/ly (f]+s4 ,8     
s]vant ,ali1 h[ev]1 receiv+ b a small   
%>e ( ! pr(its1 ran away to ! s\? ( !   
,jordan1 tak+ ) him 8 ma/]'s donkey4 ,! 
animal di$ on ! way1 & ,ali1 hav+ cov]$ 
8 body ) a heap ( /ones1 sat d[n 9      
despair4 ,a pass]-by enquir$ ! cause ( 8
 sorr[1 & ,ali repli$ t he _h j f\nd !  
tomb ( an em95t ,sa9t2 ! man kiss$ !    
/ones1 gave ,ali a pres5t1 & pass$ on 8 
way4  ,! news ( ! holy %r9e spread      
?r\gh\t ! l&1 & pilgrims ?rong$ to visit
 x3 ,ali became ri*1 built a f9e ,kubbeh
 7,dome71 & 0 envi$ by all ! ,%eiks4    
,mohamm$1 he>+ ( ! new %r9e1 & f9d+ 8   
own eclips$ by x1 made a pilgrimage to x
 himself1 9 hopes ( f9d+ out ! s\rce (  
its great repute4 ,f9d+ ,ali 9 *>ge1 he 
ask$1 9 a :isp]1 if he w\ld tell him !  
"n ( ! ,sa9t ^: tomb he kept *>ge (4 ,i 
w1 repli$ ,ali1 on condition t y tell me
 ! "n ( y\r ,sa9t4 ,mohamm$ cons5t$1 &  
,ali !n :isp]$1 ,god alone is great6    
,?is is ! tomb ( ! donkey ,i /ole f y4  
,ma%allah6 cri$ ,mohamm$1 & my 'wely' is

 ! tomb ( t donkey's fa!r6 ,me?9ks      
,pale/9e has n a monopoly ( ! long-e>$ &
 long-suff]+ race1 ei!r liv+ or dead6   
,b we h *ang$ all t2 z we h a good _m   
o!r ?+s4 ,sa9ts & _! %r9es are out (    
fa%ion4 ,x is an age ( see+1 n believ+1 
we say complac5tly2 & we laugh ) sup]ior
 wisdom at ! follies ( our =efa!rs1 & ! 
relics !y w5t s f> to adore--relics :i*1
 l ! fabl$ frog1 by try+ to swell       
!mselves to great] & /ill great]        
dim5sions1 end$ 9 gr[+ a little too     
ext5sive = _! ultimate good4 ,sa9ts1 l  
s9n]s1 c only h two legs apiece1 we all 
"k2 b ! sa9ts ( our ance/ors1 if _!     
relics spoke truly1 mu/ h be5 sa9tly    
c5tip$es3 ( mak+ new limbs !re 0 no end1
 &1 z _! numb]s increas$1 rev]5ce wan$1 
till hey6--! bubble ( cr$ulity bur/ at  
la/1 z did ! frog6  ,b if ! heav5ly     
pr(itability 0 cut (f by ?is collapse ( 
sup]/ition1 or eclipse ( fai?--call x   
:i* y w--! habit ( pleasurable mov+     
rema9$2 /rong] by ! =ce ( repeat$ cu/om 
?r\gh\t all pa/ times3 we keep ! %ell1 b

 we cunn+ly sub/itute a new k]nel 9 !   
place ( ! explod$ core ( h]et(ore4  ,we 
g a pilgrimage /ill1 b y\r mod]n _s is  
n[ ! pilgrim ( ,heal?1 ,pleasure1       
,sci5ce1 ,art1 & su*-l--all high-s\nd+  
names to conjure by2 & ! _w1 t old      
"t-s]v]1 ev] seek+ to accommodate itself
 to ! new ways ( its inhabitants1 is ev]
 supply+ u ) a new ,spa1 a new old ma/]1
 or ma/]piece1 a newly dug-up ru91 or   
hi]oglyph1 or ,d>k ,cont95t1 or--= ev5 !
 humble/ tripp] is n =gott5--a new      
,mudport-on-,sea4  ,! %r9es ( our       
=efa!rs' wor%ip h crept back into fav\r 
by hid+ !mselves 9 ! volum9\s drap]ies (
 ,hi/ory or ,art4 ,our appetite = %[s is
 omnivor\s1 & we don't object to a %r9e 
if x has a ,go?ic m\ld+ suffici5tly     
cute1 or a ,byzant9e ro(1 or "s o!r     
attraction--are we n pilgrims (         
,art8--?\gh if call$ ^u to def9e our ro(
 or m\ld+ _m ( u might be consid]ably   
nonpluss$1 tak+ refuge 9 describ+ "o z a
 ?+ ) a r\nd top1 & ! o!r z a sort (    
/one trimm+1 don't y "k4  ,i rememb]    

once read+ a *ild's tale--,i h =gott5   
:]e1 = x 0 _m ye>s ago--b ! drift ( !   
/ory 0 too good to =get4 ,x 0 ab\t a    
small pig :o liv$ ) 8 "m 9 a /ye :i*    
possess$ b a limit$ front y>d4 ,piggy _h
 ! pilgrim _s1 & sigh$ to escape to     
pa/ures new1 to see :at lay beyond 8    
little wall4 ,"o day 8 *ance came--he   
escap$ someh[1 & made a pilgrimage r\nd 
! f>my>d1 :]e ! /range ?+s he saw ei!r  
fright5$ him dreadfully1 or 7 utt]ly    
un9telligible to 8 piggi% m9d4 ,he 0 s  
fright5$ by ! ro>+ ( a bull t he fl$ )  
great precipitation home1 :]e he gave a 
gl[+ acc\nt ( 8 travels to 8 "m4        
,illu/ration3 ,,pilgrims ,,( ,,art4     
,yes1 he said1 ,i h se5 ! _w4 ,x is     
squ>e1 & x has a wall all r\nd x1 to    
keep ! pigs f fall+ (f1 ( c\rse4 ,i saw 
"s que] :ite pigs1 ) only two legs--?9k 
( t6 ,!y said ',quack1 quack'--t is :at 
!y say 9 ! _w1 y "k1 b1 ( c\rse1 y don't
 und]/&4 ,!n ,i saw a great r$ pig1 :o  
cri$1 ',m\-e-e-e6' ,!re is b "o su* pig 
9 ! _w1 & ,i h se5 x4 ,i am cont5t to   

live quietly n[1 = ,i h se5 ! :ole _w6  
,:o has n se5 t smug satisfaction (     
small s\ls z reflect$ by piggy8  ,!re is
 a great deal 9 look+ wise ev5 if y     
don't feel s4 ,talk always ( y\r dones1 
& leave out ! undones4  ,mo/ ( u h he>d 
( ! apocryphal ,am]ican :o does ,europe 
9 a =tnight6 ,i _c say t ,i h actually  
met t g5tleman1 b ,i h met pilgrims1 bo?
 ,engli% & ,am]ican1 :o w tell y gr&ly t
 !y h done--say ,rome1 9 two1 nay 9 "o  
day6 ,all ! antiquities1 ( c\rse1 & !   
,museums2 & !n comes a /r+ ( names (    
*ur*es1 & gall]ies1 until y gasp =      
brea?6 ,y g away & lean aga9/ some?+ to 
recov] y\r brea?1 & y\r gravity1 b !    
pilgrimage is an accompli%$ fact4 ,!y h 
a "r to /ick to ! cockle-%ell 9 _! cap1 
s to speak1 & g home say+1 ,oh1 yes6 ,we
 h done ,rome1 or ,italy1 or ,egypt1    
?or\ghly2 miss$ no?+6  ,if "o c\ld take 
an impression ( "o ( ^! pilgrim's bra9s 
by ,kodak1 "o w\ld get "s que] results 9
 *aos1 r l ! game ( family po/--!       
,raphael frescoes transf]r+ !mselves to 

,k>nak1 & ! ,sph9x hid+ 9 ! ,catacombs1 
:il/ pictures1 /atu>y1 & %r9es ( cult   
execut$ a ,bac*analian dance on a       
gigantic scale all r\nd4  ,b results d n
 alt] facts2 & 9 ^! busy days p are     
g5]ally cont5t to see y\r tree ( k2 !y h
 no "t to climb its bran*es to look = ! 
fruit ( wisdom6  ,we h *ang$ our pilgrim
 we$s = an ul/] ( ! late/ cut1 & our    
,missal = a ,murray or ,ba$ek]1 b are we
 really s mu* wis] ?an our =efa!rs8     
,alas6 we h b *ang$ ! object1 & human   
nature1 gullible ev]1 sees no reason :y 
x %\ld n flock 9 ?\s&s to drop a visit+ 
c>d into ! tomb 7s call$7 ( ,juliet at  
,v]ona1 ) z fond cr$ulity z _! fa!rs1 :5
 !y deposit$ _! c&le at ! tomb ( "s     
miracle-work+ sa9t2 ) ?is diff]5ce1     
h[ev]--t ! latt] 0 deposit$ = ! glory & 
praise ( ! sa9t1 & ! =m] ( ! s9n]       
himself4 ,:o c\ld say1 aft] t1 t he _h n
 se5 x6  ,i happ5$1 :5 !re1 to make "s  
irrev]5t rem>ks ab\t t tomb4 ,i _h walk$
 out to see x on a hot aft]noon1 & ,i   
f\nd x inconv5i5tly f>4 ,"o is accu/om$ 

to h ^! places gr\p$1 & ,i 0 displeas$ )
 ,juliet = n be+ buri$ ne>] home--x 0 an
 ov]sight--b p]haps x _h be5 arrang$ = !
 b5efit ( ! c>riage-driv]s4 ,juliet 0   
public-spirit$1 & ?\ght ( all classes1 &
 _! int]e/s4 ,i did n ?9k ( all ^!      
ext5uat+ circum/ances !n1 h[ev]1 & s ,i 
said unbeliev+ ?+s ab\t h] tomb4  ,!    
cu/ode 0 deeply pa9$1 z an or?odox      
cu/ode ought to be4 ,he remon/rat$ ) me 
fir/1 & !n he po9t$ to ! wall4 ,ecco1   
,signor6 e scritto1 e scritto e         
v]issimo6  ,illu/ration3 ,,ecco1        
,,signor6  ,& !re inde$ x 0 writt51 9   
good set t]ms1 & 9 two or ?ree          
languages1 = ! b5efit ( all non-lit]>y  
or unbeliev+ pilgrims4  ,i h (t5 ?\ght  
s9ce h[ _m p !re are1 l my fri5d !      
cu/ode1 to :om ! magic x is writt5 is   
suffici5t gr\nd = _! fai?1 )\t fur!r    
consid]ation z to :5 & h[4  ,"s "t ago a
 fri5d ( m9e enc\nt]$ a portly ,we/]n   
,am]ican t\ri/ at ,k5ilwor?4 ,he came 9 
a hurry1 & ask$ to be %[n ! "p wrote up 
by ,scott4 ,he gaz$ = a few m9utes1 & !n

 dep>t$ z quickly z he came4 ,to him    
,k5ilwor? 0 m]ely a place wrote up by   
,scott1 & no d\bt he _h ,w>wick &       
,/rat=d-on-,avon to see t same aft]noon1
 be=e go+ on to ,liv]pool4  ,!re are    
pilgrims :o c]ta9ly c>ry a feel+ ( duty 
into all ?+s4 ,:]ev] !y g !y mean "w6   
,?is quality pre-em95tly di/+ui%es !    
,engli%-speak+ _w1 & x always fills our 
,cont95tal1 or ,ori5tal1 neighb\rs )    
lazy wond]4 ,oh1 ^! ,engli%wom56 !y h   
legs & /oma*s ( bronze6 ,i once he>d an 
,italian say4  ,we are incl9$ to ov]do  
x4 ,i ?9k an occasional re/-day is z    
necess>y to ! tir$ bra9 z !             
photograph]'s d>k room is to !          
developm5t ( ! negative impression--)\t 
x ! bra9 w\ld1 inde$1 record a negative 
impression4  ,b ,i am /ray+ f ,juliet's 
tomb1 & ! subject ( unlimit$ fai?4 ,only
 make a ?+ possible1 &1 if !re is an    
und]curr5t ( desire to believe x1 ! l>ge
 majority w swall[ almo/ any?+ ) :at    
!ologians call simple fai?4 ,! if is an 
important "o--! key to ! situation4 ,we 

believe readily :5 x is agreeable to d  
s1 & all pilgrims h ev] s\ght to height5
 ! attractions ( ! objects ( _! int]e/4 
,x adds to _! own enjoym5t ( !m1 &1 aft]
 all1 is x n a reflex complim5t to      
ourselves8 ,if !re is b "o su* pig 9 !  
_w1 h n ,i se5 x8  ,illu/ration3 ,,lur$ 
,,m5 ,,to ,,de/ruction4  ,h y ev] notic$
 ! effect ( ! expression1 ,!y say8 ,if  
we say ,tom1 or ,dick1 or ,h>ry1 says s 
& s1 ,tom is no bett] au?ority ?an      
,dick1 nor are bo? toge!r mu* bett] ?an 
,h>ry4 ,b if we say1 indef9itely1 ,!y   
say s & s1 !re is a my/]i\s pot5cy 9 !  
unkn[n quantity :i* leads1 if n to      
univ]sal belief1 at lea/ to univ]sal    
transmission4  ,yes1 x is an int]e/+    
spot4 ,!y say t a pr9cess is buri$ "h :o
 0 laid "u a pot5t spell by a mighty    
wiz>d1 long1 long ago1 etc42 or ,!y tell
 ( a beaute\s maid5 :o sat on ?is rock1 
9 ! f> pa/1 & sang1 & ?us lur$ m5 to    
de/ruction1 etc4  ,illu/ration  ,he or  
%e is always swall[$ up by ! mi/s (     
obscurity--oh1 ye mi/s ( obscurity1 ye h

 mu* to answ] =6  ,we d n c>e to dispute
 ) ,!y 8 sup]ior in=mation--ev5 if we   
c\ld f9d him2 = he seems to reside      
p]man5tly 9 ! a=esaid mi/s himself2 only
 issu+ =?1 l a valiant knight1 to rescue
 ! fair maid5s--,fact1 or ,fiction--f ! 
jaws ( ! dragon ,oblivion6 ,:at he is1  
we leave to ! le>n$1 :o c\ld no d\bt    
dispose ( him suitably 9 connection ) ! 
highly conv5i5t sol> my?s1 z a ,pot5t   
,rescu+ ,p[]6 ,z = u1 we m$dle n ) !    
mi/s3 we r l ! delici\s gl[ ( _! lum9\s 
dimness1 :i* glorifies ! pa/ if x cl\ds 
x2 & :i* s(t5s (f ! h>dness ( our       
prosaic mod]n life1 z a summ] haze our  
,engli% l&scape4  ,we are delight$ to   
get hold ( an anci5t leg5d1 :e!r (      
headless horseman or h\sekeep]1 pixie or
 wiz>d4 ,ev5 9 t happy hunt+ gr\nd ( !  
,mod]n ,_s1 ! ,unit$ ,/ates ( ,am]ica1 !
 old leg5ds l+] /ill1 if b fa9tly4 ,!   
soil ( a new c\ntry does n gr[ s5tim5t (
 ?is sort readily1 b ! plant is indig5\s
 to ! human he>t2 & its fair fl[]s h be5
 ga!r$ & wrea!d ar\nd _! pages by _m an 

essayi/ & poet4 ,we _c d )\t ! elem5t ( 
my/]y 9 our life1 h[ev] we may repres5t 
x4 ,x is "p ( ! _s )9 u1 & we f9d x 9   
ev]y?+ ar\nd u4 ,x is ! veil ( ,isis :i*
 sci5ce1 h] wor%ipp]1 is ev] try+ to    
lift1 b _c4 ,! muse ( ,inspiration p\rs 
=? h] melodi\s voice1 l ! night+ale1 9 !
 d>kness & ! %ady cov]t4 ,we li/5 to h] 
song ) entranc$ e>s2 a few ^: spirits   
are f9ely t\*$1 try to repeat x2 b :o   
has ev] se5 h]2 ! s\l t animates1 ! _s t
 inspires6 ,our life itself is a        
my/]y--! ,pa/ & ,future--are !y n ! w+s 
( ! ,_s ( ,"t :i* are brood+ ov] our    
,pres5t8 ,:5 !y are lift$--:5 ! mighty  
p9ions are outspread = flight--!n !     
%ad[s w flee = ev]1 = ! great ,daybreak 
( ,et]nity w h begun6  ,illu/ration3    
,,sci5ce ,,lift+ ,,! ,,veil ,,( ,,isis4 
,)\t ! _s ( my/]y1 ! "m ( enquiry--(    
romance1 ! days ( pilgrimage w\ld be    
end$4 ,if x is a m]e matt] ( re/1 & (   
oil+ ! :eels ( ! ma*9e = a fre% gr9d1   
,mudport-on-,sea w d well en\gh2 b      
,mudport-on-,sea c nev] satisfy ! hung] 

( ! curi\s s\l = ! beautiful2 !         
m>vell\s2 all t is 9 itself lovely1 or t
 has liv$ 9 ! pa/1 & caught a bright]   
gl[ f its ra9b[ reflections4 ,"o spot ( 
gr\nd may cont5t ! naturali/1 or !      
,buddhi/ sage1 = "o c f9d a _w ( wondr\s
 ?\ght 9 ! smalle/ leaf--a microcosm 9 a
 dew-drop2 & ! o!r c s5d 8 s\l (f on    
a]ial pilgrimages1 ?\gh 8 body may be 9 
*a9s6 ,b we are n all ei!r natural or   
transc5d5tal philosoph]s2 our appetite  
requires n "o leaf1 b _m1 = our p[]s (  
assimilation are n great en\gh to draw  
spiritual su/5ance f "o alone2 & s1 l ! 
cat]pill>1 :5 we h f9i%$ our leaf1 we   
crawl to ano!r4  ,b ?is _s ( curiosity1 
or unre/1 is all ow+ to lack (          
self-culture1 cry "s4 ,p]haps x is--"s (
 x4 ,no d\bt ! cocoon /age ( re/ &      
self-developm5t is high]1 & ne>] to !   
ultimate p]fection--! w+$ creature :i*  
so>s above :]e o!rs crawl--b until we   
are fit to be cocoons1 & evolve         
butt]flies1 we mu/ be cont5t ) our      
cat]pill> in/9cts4  ,p speak scornfully 

( m]e curiosity1 b x is only wor?less :5
 x be>s no fruit4 ,curiosity1 9 itself1 
is a heal?y1 natural in/9ct1 :i* we see 
to p]fection 9 ! small *ild4 ,toddie's  
spee* 9 ,hel5's ,babies1 ,want to %ee   
:eels g w\nd1 is ! pilgrim _s epitomis$4
 ,we he> ( ! wat*1 & we want to see x2  
we see x1 & !n we want to hold x2 we he>
 x tick1 & we want to op5 x2 & !n we    
w\ld l to %ee :eels g w\nd con/antly1 & 
if we _c1 we kick at ! prohibition6     
,curiosity may be a wor?less elem5t 9   
life :5 idle1 b :5 o!rwise1 is x n !    
ma9spr+ ( ! wat*8 ,?9k ( ! manifold     
results ( m]e curiosity1 :5 rightly     
p]sev]$ 96 ,b !n we *ange ! "n--x       
becomes insight--rese>*--x becomes a p[]
 :i* c climb ! dizzie/ height1 & dive ! 
deepe/ dep?s1 to br+ to u _!            
treasures--! />--! pe>l6  ,illu/ration  
,a ,college ,idyl4  ,,by ,s4 ,,gordon4  
,,illu/rations ,,by ,a4 ,h4 ,,fi%]4     
-----   ,illu/ration    ,night x 0--nay1
 ne>] morn+1     ,snores & nightm>es    
:isk$ ab\t1   ,& ! pallid moon gave w>n+

     ,t h] lamp 0 ne>ly out4   ,twa9 we 
sat1 & rum9at$     ,on ! _w1 its joys & 
ills1   ,:at we lov$1 & :at we hat$1    
,woman1 w9e--exams & bills4             
,illu/ration    ,(t51 too1 ) %ort-liv$  
spl5d\r1     ,fla%$ ! ready epigram1    
,?\ghts we utt]$1 s(t & t5d]1           
,end+ 9 a smo!r$ ----2           ,all ! 
tru?s & lies ( ages                     
,compass$ we 9 "o %ort brea?1           
,fl\t$ :ims ( prie/s & sages1           
,lightly toy$ ) life & dea?4            
,illu/ration    ,m5 & mann]s1 sa9ts &   
s9n]s1     ,all & m we t\*$ ^u1         
,h[ ! wor/ 7 ev] w9n]s1         ,= we   
yet _h nev] won2           ,& we curs$  
at sup]/ition1             ,villa9      
smiles1 & sects1 & cants1               
,hurl$ to ru9 & p]dition                
,all ! tribe ( sycophants--             
,illu/ration    ,qu]i$1 ?9k+ ( cold     
faces1     ,cold] he>ts ( liv+ /one1    
,:y our lot )9 su* places1         ,:y  
^u su* days 0 ?r[n2   ,9 our ye>s'      
matur+ cresc5t     ,spi$ we h[ our fate 

0 fraught1       ,spann$ ! future & !   
pres5t         ,) ! flimsy bridge (     
?\ght4    ,s ! morn came1 pale & hagg>d1
     ,light+ up our sunk5 eyes1   ,& we 
rose & ?i!r /agg]$     ,:5ce we w\ld b  
sl[ly rise2   ,pla9 our foot/eps1 weak &
 frisky1     ,told _! moral--speak :o   
c--   ,midnight words & midnight :iskey 
,play ! devil ) a man6  ,illu/ration    
,illu/ration3 7,,f ,a ,,photograph ,,by 
,,messrs4 ,,elliott ,,& ,,fry47   ,my   
,fir/ ,book4  ,,by ,f4 ,w4 ,,rob9son4   
,,illu/rations ,,by ,,geo4 ,,hut*9son4  
-----   ,illu/ration  ,illu/ration3 ,,at
 ,,tw5ty4  ,x is a f> cry back to #ahec1
 :5 dreams ( writ+ a book _h almo/ rea*$
 ! b\nd>y l9e ( probable ev5ts4 ,i 0 !n 
a pale1 long-hair$1 consumptive-look+   
y\?1 :o _h be5 successful 9 prize       
poems--= !re 7 prize competitions ev5 9 
^? f>-(f days--& 9 acro/ics1 & 9 !      
acceptance ( "o or two %ort /ories1 :i* 
_h be5 actually publi%$ 9 a magaz9e t   
did n pay = contributions 7x 0 edit$ by 
a cl]gyman ( ! ,*ur* ( ,engl&1 too1 & ! 

*apla9 to a real ,duke71 & :i* magaz9e  
has gone ! way ( _m magaz9es1 & is n[ z 
ext9ct z ! ,dodo4 ,x 0 9 ! ye> #ahec1 or
 a mon? or two e>li]1 t ,i wrote my fir/
 novel--:i*1 ^u a mod]ate computation1  
,i ?9k1 w\ld make f\r or five good-siz$ 
libr>y volumes1 b ,i h nev] attempt$ to 
scale ! manuscript4 ,x is 9 my          
possession /ill1 al?\gh ,i h n se5 x =  
_m we>y ye>s4 ,x is buri$ ) a heap m    
rubbi% 9 a respectable old oak *e/1 !   
key ( :i* is ev5 lo/ to me4 ,& yet t    
,,ms4 0 ! turn+-po9t ( my small lit]>y  
c>e]4 ,& x is ! hi/ory ( t manuscript   
:i* leads up to ! publication ( my fir/ 
novel2 my fir/ /ep1 ?\gh ,i did n "k x1 
& h5ce x is "p & p>cel ( ! hi/ory ( my  
fir/ book--a l9k 9 ! *a94  ,illu/ration3
 ,,elmore ,,h\se4  ,:5 t manuscript 0   
complet$1 x 0 read al\d1 night aft]     
night1 to an admir+ audi5ce ( family    
memb]s1 & pron\nc$ z fit = publication z
 any?+ ( ,dick5s or ,?ack]ay or ,bulw]1 
:o 7 !n 9 ! full sw+ ( _! mighty        
capacities4 ,alas6 ,i 0 a bett] judge   

?an my p>tial & amiable critics4 ,i _h v
 grave d\bts--qualms1 ,i ?9k !y are     
call$--& ,i _h read t x 0 uphill "w to  
get a book publi%$1 & swagg] ?r\gh ! _w 
z a real live be+ :o _h actually writt5 
a novel4 ,!re 0 a fa9t hope1 t 0 all2 & 
s1 ) my ,,ms4 "u my arm1 ,i /roll$ into 
! palatial premises ( ,messrs4 ,hur/ &  
,blackett 7successors to ,h5ry ,colburn 
!y pr\dly designat$ !mselves at t       
p]iod71 laid my heavy p>cel on ! c\nt]1 
& wait$1 ) fe> & trembl+1 = someone to  
em]ge f ! gall]ies ( books & r[s ( desks
 beyond1 & enquire ! nature ( my        
bus9ess4 ,& "h ensu$ my fir/ surprise--q
 a dramatic co9cid5ce--= ! tall1 sp>e1  
middle-ag$ g5tleman :o advanc$ f ! %ad[s
 t[>ds ! c\nt]1 prov$1 to my int5se     
a/oni%m5t1 to be a con/ant *ess         
antagoni/ ( m9e at ,kl+'s ,*ess ,rooms1 
r\nd ! corn]1 9 ,new ,ox=d ,/reet--rooms
 :i* h disappe>$ long ago1 along )      
,horwitz1 ,h>rwitz1 ,loew5?al1          
,williams1 & o!r great *ess lights ( ^? 
f>-away times1 :o 7 to be se5 !re1 night

 aft] night1 prep>$ = all com]s4 ,kl+'s 
0 a great *ess h\se1 & ,i 0 a *ess      
en?usia/1 z well z a y\? :o want$ to get
 into pr9t4 ,fail+ lit]ature1 ,i _h made
 up my m9d to become a *ess *ampion1 if 
possible1 al?\gh ,i knew already1 by    
quiet obs]vation ( my antagoni/s1 t 9 t 
way madness lay1 %e] uncontrollable1    
rag+ madness--= me at any rate4 ,& !    
grave1 middle-ag$ g5tleman beh9d ! c\nt]
 ( #ac1 ,great ,m>lbor\gh ,/reet1 prov$ 
to be ! ca%i] ( ! firm1 & us$--be+      
*ess-mad l ! re/ ( u--to sp5d 8 ev5+s at
 ,kl+'s4 ,he 0 a play] ( my own /r5g?1 &
 = twelve mon?s or s _h ,i skirmi%$ )   
him ov] ! *essbo>d1 & f\ght innum]able  
battles ) him4 ,he _h nev] spok5 ( 8    
occupation1 or ,i ( my re/less          
ambitions--*ess play]s nev] g f> beyond 
! *equ]$ bo>d4  ,illu/ration3 ,,at      
,,?irty4  ,hallo1 ,rob9son6 he exclaim$1
 9 8 surprise1 y don't mean to say t    
y----  ,& !n he /opp$ & reg>d$ my y\?ful
 appe>ance v critically4  ,yes1 ,mr4    
,k5ny--x's a novel1 ,i said1 mode/ly2 my

 fir/4  ,!re's pl5ty ( x1 he rem>k$1    
drily4 ,i'll s5d x up/airs at once4 ,&  
,i'll wi% y luck too2 b1 he add$1 k9dly1
 prep>+ to s(t5 ! %ock ( a future       
refusal1 we h pl5ty ( ^! come 9--ab\t   
sev5 a day--& mo/ ( !m g back to _!     
writ]s aga94  ,ye-es1 ,i suppose s1 ,i  
answ]$1 ) a sigh4  ,= a:ile1 h[ev]1 ,i  
reg>d$ ! meet+ z a happy augury--a lucky
 co9cid5ce4 ,i ev5 _h ! va91 hopeless   
notion t ,mr4 ,k5ny might put 9 a good  
^w = me1 ask = special consid]ation1 out
 ( t k9dly feel+ :i* we _h = ea* o!r1 & 
:i* *ess antagoni/s h inv>iably = ea*   
o!r1 ,i am incl9$ to believe4 ,b ?\gh we
 met ?ree or f\r times a week1 f t day  
=? n "o ^w conc]n+ ! fate ( my          
manuscript escap$ ! lips ( ,mr4 ,k5ny4  
,x is probable ! incid5t _h pass$ f 8   
memory2 he _h no?+ to d ) ! novel       
dep>tm5t itself1 & ! deliv]y ( ,,mss4 0 
a v common ev]yday proce$+ to him4 ,i 0 
too ba%ful1 p]haps too pr\d1 an         
individual to ask any que/ions ( him2 b 
e ev5+ t ,i enc\nt]$ him ,i us$ to wond]

 if he _h he>d any?+1 if any news ( !   
book's fate _h rea*$ him1 directly or   
indirectly2 occasionally ev51 z "t w5t  
on1 ,i 0 dispos$ to imag9e t he 0 lett+ 
me w9 ! game out ( k9dness--= he 0 a    
g5tle1 k9dly s\l always--9 ord] to s(t5 
! %ock ( a disappo9tm5t :i* he knew     
p]fectly well 0 on its way t[>ds me4    
,illu/ration3 ,,mr4 ,,rob9son',s        
,,libr>y4  ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,g>d54    
,"s mon?s aft]w>ds1 ! fateful lett] came
 to me f ! firm1 regrett+ _! inability  
to make use ( ! ,,ms41 & express+ _m    
?anks = a p]usal ( ! same--a polite1    
concise1 all-r\nd k9d ( epi/le1 :i* a   
publi%] is compell$ to keep 9 /ock1 & to
 s5d out :5 reject$ lit]ature p\rs =? l 
a wat]fall f ! dusky cav]ns ( a publi%+ 
h\se 9 a l>ge way ( bus9ess4 ,x 0 all   
ov]1 !n--,i _h fail$6 ,f t h\r ,i w\ld  
turn *ess play]1 & s(t5 my bra9 9 a que/
 = silv] cups or *ampion amateur /akes4 
,i c\ld play *ess bett] ?an ,i c\ld     
write fiction1 ,i 0 sure4 ,/ill1 aft] "s
 days ( dead despair1 ,i s5t ! ,,ms4    

once m on its travels--?is "t to ,smi? &
 ,eld]'s1 ^: read]1 ,mr4 ,williams1 _h  
leapt into s+ul> prom95ce s9ce 8        
fav\rable judgm5t ( ,*>lotte ,bronte's  
book1 & to :om mo/ ,,mss4 fl[$          
spontane\sly = _m ye>s aft]w>ds4 ,& 9   
due c\rse ( "t1 ,mr4 ,williams1 act+ =  
,messrs4 ,smi? & ,eld]1 ask$ me to call 
^u him--= ! ,,ms46--at ,cornhill1 & !re 
,i receiv$ my fir/ advice1 my fir/ ?rill
 ( exultation4 ,pres5tly1 & probably1 & 
) p]sev]ance1 he said1 y w succe$ 9     
lit]ature1 & if y w rememb] n[1 t to    
write a good novel is a v consid]able   
a*ievem5t4 ,ye>s ( %ort /ory-writ+ is ! 
be/ appr5tice%ip = y4 ,write & re-write1
 & sp>e no pa9s4 ,i ?ank$ him1 & ,i w5t 
home ) te>s 9 my eyes ( gratitude &     
consolation1 ?\gh my big /ory _h be5    
decl9$ ) ?anks4 ,b ,i did n write aga94 
,i put away my ,,ms41 & w5t on = six or 
eight h\rs a day at *ess = _m idle mon?s
 be=e ,i 0 9 ! ve9 = composition1 & !n1 
) a sudd5 da%1 ,i began ,! ,h\se (      
,elmore4 ,x 0 half f9i%$ :5 ano!r /range

 incid5t 9 its little way occurr$4 ,i   
receiv$ "o morn+ a lett] f ,lascelles   
,wraxall 7aft]w>ds ,sir ,lascelles      
,wraxall1 ,b>t41 z ! read] may be       
probably aw>e71 in=m+ me t he 0 "o ( !  
read]s = ,messrs4 ,hur/ & ,blackett1 & t
 x _h be5 8 duty "s "t ago to decide    
unfav\rably aga9/ a /ory :i* ,i _h      
submitt$ to ! notice ( 8 firm1 b t he _h
 int5d$ to write to me a private note   
urg+ me to adopt lit]ature z a          
pr(ession4 ,8 pr9cipal object 9 writ+ at
 t "t 0 to sugge/ my try+ ! =tunes ( !  
novel :i* he _h already read ) ,messrs4 
,r\tl$ge1 & he k9dly add$ a lett] (     
introduction to t firm 9 ! ,broadway--an
 introduction :i*1 by ! way1 nev] came  
to any?+4  ,illu/ration3 ,,!            
,,draw+-,,room4  ,poor ,lascelles       
,wraxall1 clev] writ] & editor1 pressman
 & lit]>y advis]1 real ,bohemian & true 
fri5d--inde$1 ev]ybody's fri5d b 8      
own--,i nev] ?9k ( him b ) feel+s ( deep
 gratitude4 ,he 0 a roll+ /one1 & :5 ,i 
met him = ! fir/ "t 9 my life1 ye>s     

aft]w>ds1 he _h left ,m>lbor\gh ,/reet =
 ! ,crimea2 he _h be5 giv5 a commission 
9 ! ,turki% ,cont+5t at ,k]t*2 he _h    
come back ana!matis+ ! s]vice1 & *ock   
full ( grievances aga9/ ! ,gov]nm5t1 &  
he became once m editor & sub-editor1 & 
publi%]'s hack ev5 at la/1 until he     
/epp$ into 8 b>onetcy--an empty title1 =
 he _h sold ! rev]sion ( ! e/ates = a   
m]e song long ago--& became special     
correspond5t 9 ,au/ria = ! ,daily       
,telegraph4 ,& 9 ,vi5na he di$1 "y 9    
ye>s /ill--n =ty1 ,i ?9k--clos+ a life t
 only want$ "o turn m ( application1 ,i 
h (t5 ?\ght1 to h a*iev$ v great        
di/9ction4 ,!re are /ill a few writ+ m5 
ab\t :o rememb] ,lascelles ,wraxall1 b  
!y are ! boys ( ! old brigade4  ,x 0 to 
,lascelles ,wraxall ,i s5t1 :5 f9i%$1 ,!
 ,h\se ( ,elmore1 ! read] may v easily  
guess4 ,wraxall _h /epp$ s mu* out ( 8  
groove--= ! busy lit]>y man t he 0--to  
take me by ! h&1 & po9t ! way along !   
p]il\s road2 he _h giv5 me s _m k9d     
words1 t ,i wrote my h>de/ to complete  

my new /ory be=e ,i %\ld fade :olly f 8 
recollection4 ,! book 0 f9i%$ 9 five    
weeks1 & 9 hot ha/e1 & = mon?s aga9 ,i 0
 left wond]+ :at ! outcome ( x all 0 to 
be--:e!r ,wraxall 0 read+ my /ory1 or   
:e!r--oh1 horror6--"s o!r read] less    
k9dly dispos$1 & m au/]e & critical1 &  
h>d to please1 _h be5 told (f to sit 9  
judgm5t ^u my second ,,ms4  ,illu/ration
 ,,at ,,=ty4  ,i w5t back to *ess = a   
di/raction till ! fate ( t book 0       
pron\nc$ or seal$--x 0 always *ess 9 !  
h\rs ( my di/ress & anxiety--& ,i once  
aga9 fac$ ,*>les ,k5ny1 & once aga9     
wond]$ if he knew1 & h[ mu* he knew1    
:il/ he 0 deep 9 8 k+'s gambit or 8     
giuoco-piano2 b he 0 n ev5 aw>e t ,i _h 
s5t 9 a second /ory1 ,i le>n$ aft]w>ds4 
,& !n at la/ came ! judgm5t--! pleasant1
 if =mal1 notice f ,m>lbor\gh ,/reet t !
 novel _h be5 fav\rably report$ ^u by ! 
read]1 & t ,messrs4 ,hur/ & ,blackett   
w\ld be pleas$ to see me at ,m>lbor\gh  
,/reet to talk ! matt] ( its publication
 ov] ) me4 ,ah6 :at a lett] t 06--:at a 

surprise1 aft] all6--:at a good om56  ,&
 "s ?ree mon?s aft]w>ds1 at ! end ( !   
ye> #ahed1 my fir/ book--b my second    
novel--0 laun*$ into ! read+ _w1 & ,i h 
h>dly got ov] ! feel+ yet t ,i _h       
actually a "r to dub myself a noveli/6  
,illu/ration3 ,,mr4 ,,rob9son ,,at ,,"w4
  ,:5 ! fir/ ?ree notices ( ! book      
appe>$1 wild dreams ( a brilliant future
 beset me4 ,!y 7 all fav\rable          
notices--too fav\rable2 b ,john ,bull1  
,! ,press1 & ,bell's ,mess5g] 7,i ?9k !y
 7 ! pap]s7 scatt]$ fav\rable notices   
indiscrim9ately at t "t4 ,pres5tly !    
,a!naeum sob]$ me a little1 b w\nd up ) 
a k9dly pat on ! back1 & ! ,saturday    
,review1 !n 9 its sev5? numb]1 dr5*$ me 
) vitriolic acid1 & br\ght me to a l[]  
level altoge!r2 & f9ally ! ,morn+ ,h]ald
 blew a l\d bla/ to my praise & glory--t
 la/ notice1 ,i believe1 hav+ be5 writt5
 by my old fri5d ,sir ,edw>d ,cl>ke1 !n 
a v "y review] on ! ,h]ald /aff1 ) no   
dreams ( becom+ ,h] ,maje/y's           
,solicitor-,g5]al j !n6 ,& ! ,h\se (    

,elmore actually paid its publi%]s'     
exp5ses1 & left a balance1 & br\ght me 9
 a little *eque1 & ?us my writ+ life    
began 9 sob] e>ne/4     ,told by !      
,colonel4  ,,xi4  ,,hosk9s',s ,,pets4   
,,by ,w4 ,l4 ,,ald54 ,,illu/rations ,,by
 ,r4 ,,jack4            -----   ,yes6   
said ! ,colonel1 reflectively1 ,i've be5
 almo/ ev]y:]e 9 my "t except 9 gaol1 & 
,i've be5 9 a great deal worse places   
?an a fir/-class ,am]ican gaol ) all !  
mod]n improvem5ts4 ,! fact is1 t        
philan?ropic p h gone s f> 9 improv+ !  
condition ( prison]s1 t mo/ ( our       
prisons are r bett] ?an mo/ ( our       
hotels4 ,at any rate1 !y are less       
exp5sive1 & ! gue/s are treat$ ) m      
respect4  ,i nev] c\ld und]/& ! craze t 
"s p h = prison]s4 ,= in/ance1 9 ,new   
,york & ,*icago1 ! "y ladies h a society
 = giv+ fl[]s to murd]]s4 ,:5ev] a man  
is convict$ ( murd] & s5t5c$ to be hung1
 ! girls beg9 to heave fl[]s into 8 cell
 till he c't turn r\nd )\t upsett+ a    
vase ( roses1 or a big bas9 full (      

pansies1 & gett+ 8 feet wet4 ,i once    
knew a murd]] :o told me t if any?+ c\ld
 reconcile him to be+ hung x w\ld be    
gett+ rid ( ! floral tributes t ! girls 
lavi%$ on him4 ,y see he 0 "o ( ! lead+ 
murd]]s 9 t section ( c\ntry1 &         
consequ5tly he receiv$ ab\t a c>tload ( 
fl[]s e day4  ,illu/ration3 ,,heave     
,,fl[]s ,,into ,,8 ,,cell4  ,i _h a     
neighb\r :5 ,i liv$ 9 ,new              
,b]l9opolisville :o 0 ! ,presid5t ( !   
,society = ,ameliorat+ ! ,condition (   
,prison]s1 & he 0 ! crazie/ man on !    
subject t ,i ev] met4 ,8 "n 0           
,hosk9s--,colonel ,uriah ,hosk9s--& he 0
 ! au?or ( ! ,hosk9s ,bill t attract$ s 
mu* att5tion :5 x 0 be=e ! ,legislature1
 ?\gh x nev] became a law4 ,! bill      
provid$ t e prison] %\ld h a sitt+ room 
z well z a sleep+ room1 & t x %\ld be   
furni%$ ) a piano1 a banjo1 a libr>y1 a 
typewrit]1 a w9e cool]1 & a :i/ table2 t
 ! prison] %\ld be p]mitt$ to hold two  
weekly receptions1 to :i* ev]ybody %\ld 
be all[$ to come1 & t he %\ld be taught 

any bran* ( /udy t he might c>e to take 
up1 books & ma/]s be+1 ( c\rse1 suppli$ 
free4 ,colonel ,hosk9s us$ to insi/ t ! 
only ?+ t made a man g wrong 0 ! lack ( 
k9dness1 & t ! sure way to re=m a       
crim9al 0 to treat him ) s mu* k9dness t
 he w\ld gr[ a%am$ ( be+ wick$1 & w\ld  
fall on ev]ybody's neck & devote ! re/ (
 8 life to weep+ te>s ( rep5tance & s++ 
hymns ( joy4  ,illu/ration3 ,,drew ,,up 
,a ,,beautiful ,,notice4  ,:ile ,colonel
 ,hosk9s 0 fond ( all /yles ( crim9als1 
burgl>s 7 8 p>ticul> pets4 ,accord+ to  
him1 a burgl> 0 m des]v+ ( k9dness ?an  
any o!r man4 ',h[ w\ld y l x1' he us$ to
 say1 'if y _h to e>n y\r liv+ by break+
 into h\ses 9 ! middle ( ! night1 in/ead
 ( sleep+ peacefully 9 y\r b$8 ,d y ?9k 
y w\ld be full ( good ?\ghts aft] y _h  
be5 bitt5 by ! wat*-dog & fir$ at by !  
man ( ! h\se1 & e>n$ no?+ by y\r lab\r  
except a bad cold & ! prospect (        
hydrophobia8 ,!re is no?+ m brutal ?an !
 way 9 :i* society treats ! burgl>1 & s 
long z society refuses to put him 9 !   

way ( e>n+ an easi] & less dang]\s liv+1
 he _c be blam$ if he cont9ues to       
practise 8 midnight pr(ession4'  ,i mu/ 
say ?is = ,colonel ,hosk9s4 ,he did n   
conf9e himself to talk1 l _m o!r        
philan?ropi/s1 b he 0 already try+ to   
c>ry out 8 pr9ciples4 ,he really meant  
:at he said ab\t burgl>s1 & !re isn't ! 
lea/ d\bt t he _h m sympa?y = !m ?an he 
_h = ! hone/ m5 ( 8 acqua9tance4 ,:5 p  
ask$ him :at he w\ld d if he woke up 9 !
 night & f\nd a burgl> 9 8 h\se1 & :e!r 
or n he w\ld %oot at him1 he said t he  
w\ld z soon ?9k ( %oot+ at 8 own wife1 &
 t he w\ld und]take to re=m t burgl> !n 
& !re by k9dness alone4 ,once somebody  
said to ,hosk9s t he ought really to let
 ! burgl>s "k 8 feel+s t[>ds !m1 &      
,hosk9s said t he w\ld d x )\t delay4   
,t same day he drew up a beautiful      
',notice to ,burgl>s1' & _h x pr9t$ 9   
big lett]s & fram$ & hung up 9 !        
d9+-room ( 8 h\se4 ,x read 9 ?is way3   
',burgl>s are respectfully in=m$ t !    
silv]-w>e is all plat$1 & t ! proprietor

 ( ?is h\se nev] keeps ready money on   
h&4 ,cake & w9e w be f\nd 9 ! d9+-room  
closet1 & burgl>s are cordially invit$  
to re/ & refre% !mselves4 ,please wipe  
y\r feet on ! mat1 & close ! w9d[ :5    
leav+ ! h\se4'  ,colonel ,hosk9s took a 
good deal ( pride 9 t notice4 ,he %[$ x 
to ev]yone :o call$ at ! h\se1 & said t 
if o!r p w\ld foll[ 8 example1 & treat  
burgl>s l ,*ri/ians & g5tlem51 !re w\ld 
soon be an end ( burgl>y1 = ! burgl>s   
w\ld be s t\*$ by ! k9dness ( _!        
treatm5t t !y w\ld ab&on ! bus9ess &    
become hon\r$ memb]s (                  
society--insurance presid5ts1 or bank   
ca%i]s1 or *ur* treasur]s4 ,he didn't   
say h[ ! re=m$ burgl>s 7 to f9d         
employm5t 9 banks & insurance (fices1 & 
su*1 b t 0 a matt] ( detail1 & he always
 pref]r$ to devise l>ge & noble s*emes1 
& leave ! work+ details ( !m to o!r m54 
,"o morn+1 ,colonel ,hosk9s1 :o 0 an    
e>ly ris]1 w5t d[n to ! d9+-room be=e   
breakfa/1 & 0 surpris$ to f9d t he _h _h
 a midnight visit f burgl>s4 ,two empty 

w9e bottles /ood on ! table1 & all !    
cake 0 eat51 :i* %[$ t ! burgl>s _h     
accept$ ! invitation to refre% !mselves4
 ,b !y did n seem to h accept$ x 9 q !  
"r _s4 ,all ,hosk9s's spoons & =ks lay 9
 a heap 9 ! middle ( ! floor1 & e "o 0  
twi/$ or brok5 s z to be good = no?+4 ,!
 w9d[ _h be5 left op51 & ! ra9 _h ru9$ !
 curta9s1 & on a dirty piece ( pap] !   
burgl>s _h scrawl$ ) a lead p5cil !     
op9ion t ',old ,hosk9s is ! bigge/ fule1
 & ! gol-d>nde/ sk9fl9t 9 ! c\ntry4 ,y  
set out :iskey next "t1 or we'll s]ve y 
out4'  ,hosk9s 0 n 9 ! lea/ ca/ d[n by !
 rud5ess ( ! burgl>s4 ',poor fell[s1' he
 said1 '!y h be5 s us$ to bad treatm5t t
 !y don't altoge!r appreciate k9dness at
 fir/4 ,b !y w le>n4' ,s he laid 9 "s   
new spoons & =ks1 & add$ a bottle (     
:iskey to ! w9e t he kept 9 ! closet = !
 burgl>s1 & 0 z confid5t z ev] t ! next 
gang t might break into 8 h\se w\ld be  
melt$ into te>s & rep5tance1 & w\ld call
 him _! be/ & de>e/ fri5d4              
,illu/ration3 ,,e ,,"o ,,0 ,,twi/$ ,,or 

,,brok54  ,a week or two lat] ,mrs4     
,hosk9s 0 awak5$ by a noise 9 !         
d9+-room1 &1 aft] wak+ up h] husb&1 told
 him t !re 7 burgl>s 9 ! h\se1 & t he   
mu/ get out ( ! back w9d[ & g = !       
police4 ,he told h] t he 0 sorry to see 
h] manife/ su* an un*ri/ian _s1 & he    
w\ld %[ h] h[ burgl>s ought to be       
treat$4 ,!re 0 n ! lea/ d\bt t !re 7    
burgl>s 9 ! h\se1 & !y 7 mak+ a good    
deal m noise ?an 0 /rictly consi/5t ) ! 
prospect ( ris+ 9 _! pr(ession1 = no    
able burgl> ev] makes any unnecess>y    
noise :ile engag$ 9 bus9ess1 unless1 (  
c\rse1 he falls ov] a coal-scuttle1 & !n
 he naturally uses language4 ,/4 ,paul  
himself w\ld probably say some?+ pretty 
/rong 9 simil> circum/ances4 ,hosk9s 0  
s9c]ely delight$ to h ! opportunity to  
meet 8 burgl>i\s fri5ds1 & he lo/ no "t 
9 dress+ & desc5d+ to ! d9+-room4  ,he  
wore 8 slipp]s1 & ! burgl>s--!re 7 two (
 !m--did n he> him until he 0 fairly 9 !
 d9+-room4 ,!y 7 seat$ at ! table1 ) _! 
feet on ! damask tableclo?1 & ! bottle (

 :iskey 0 ne>ly empty4 ,! ,colonel 0 mu*
 pleas$ to see t !y _h n damag$ 8       
silv]-w>e1 & he 0 j ab\t to ?ank !m :5  
!y saw him4 ,!y />t$ up1 & "o ( !m      
caught him by ! ?roat1 :ile ! o!r held a
 pi/ol to 8 head1 & promis$ to bl[ out 8
 bra9s if he made ! slighte/ noise4 ,!n 
!y ti$ him h& & foot1 gagg$ him1 & laid 
him on ! floor1 & !n sat d[n to f9i% !  
:iskey4  ,illu/ration3 ,,caught ,,him   
,,by ,,! ,,?roat4  ,bo? ! burgl>s 7     
p>tly drunk1 :i* acc\nt$ = !            
unpr(essional noise !y _h be5 mak+4 ,!y 
talk$ 9 r a l[ tone1 b ,hosk9s c\ld he> 
ev]y?+ !y said1 & x 0 n p>ticul>ly      
enc\rag+ to a gagg$ & b\nd philan?ropi/4
 ,!y agre$ t he 0 a fool1 & a /+y fool1 
or else he w\ld h kept money 9 ! h\se1 &
 w\ld h set out lemons & sug> z well z  
pla9 :iskey4 ,!y said t any man :o      
treat$ poor work+ m5 9 t way wasn't fit 
to live1 & t ,hosk9s w\ld h to be kill$1
 ev5 if x 0 n necess>y--z x pla9ly 0 9  
?is case--to kill him 9 ord] to prev5t  
him f appe>+ at any future "t z a       

witness aga9/ !m4 ,!y admitt$ t ! :iskey
 0 n bad ( its k9d1 b !y 7 ( ! op9ion t 
,hosk9s _h left x 9 _! way s t !y might 
get drunk & be caught by ! police4      
,colonel ,hosk9s li/5$ to ?is           
conv]sation ) horror1 & ! prospect t !  
drunk5 rascals w\ld be z good z _! ^w1 &
 kill him be=e !y left ! h\se1 0 only a 
little m pa9ful ?an ! conviction t 8    
me?od1 appeal+ to ! bett] nature (      
burgl>s1 _h fail$ = ! second "t4 ,:5 !  
:iskey 0 exhau/$ ! m5 rose up & look$ at
 ,hosk9s1 & a happy ?\ght /ruck "o ( !m4
 ',?i%y] idiot1' he said1 'may n h any  
money 9 ! h\se1 b he's b\nd to h "s 9 ! 
bank1 & he's go+ to write u a *eque = a 
?\s& doll>s1 provid$ we let him (f1 &   
don't kick 8 bra9s out ?is "t4' ,! o!r  
burgl>1 :o 0 9 t b5evol5t frame ( m9d t 
,iri% :iskey & consci\s virtue sometimes
 produce1 agre$ to ! sugge/ion1 &       
,hosk9s 0 !re=e unb\nd & seat$ at !     
table1 & told to draw a *eque at once if
 he _h ! lea/ reg>d = 8 life4 ,z he 0   
gagg$ he c\ld n expla9 to ! burgl>s !   

k9d feel+s t he /ill _h t[>ds !m1 & !   
fact t !y c\ld n draw ! money on ! *eque
 )\t be+ captur$ by ! police4 ,s he     
simply sign$ ! *eque1 & groan$ to ?9k t 
! poor burgl>s 7 s sl[ to be re=m$ 9 !  
way t he _h hop$ !y w\ld be4            
,illu/ration3 ,,ti$ ,,him ,,9 ,a ,,*air4
  ,:5 ?is bus9ess 0 ov]1 ! burgl>s ti$  
,hosk9s's wri/s toge!r aga91 & !n ti$   
him 9 a *air4 ,!n !y set to "w to d all 
! damage !y c\ld d )\t mak+ too mu*     
noise4 ,!y tore ! curta9s & hack$ !     
piano ) knives1 & p\r$ a jug ( gold5    
syrup ov] ! c>pet4 ,!n !y pla/]$        
,colonel ,hosk9s's face ) raspb]ry jam1 
& empti$ a sack ( fl\r ov] 8 head1 & w5t
 away1 tell+ him t if he ev] aga9 v5tur$
 to trifle ) ! feel+s ( poor b          
self-respect+ m51 !y w\ld put him to    
dea? by sl[ tortures4  ,illu/ration3    
,,made ,,him ,,wa% ,,at ,,! ,,pump4     
,hosk9s sat 9 ! *air = a c\ple ( h\rs1  
till 8 wife timidly crept d[n/airs &    
releas$ him4 ,x took him a good h\r to  
get ! jam & ! fl\r out ( 8 hair &       

:isk]s1 & z ,mrs4 ,hosk9s said t he 0 9 
no /ate to ent] a dec5t b$room1 & made  
him wa% at ! pump 9 ! back y>d1 he f\nd 
x a r cold op]ation4 ,p]haps x 0 !      
rem>ks t ,mrs4 ,hosk9s address$ to him  
dur+ ! op]ation t irritat$ him1 = %e    
intimat$ v pla9ly t he 0 no bett] ?an a 
pr(essional idiot1 & :5 a man's hair is 
/uck toge!r ) jam rem>ks ( ?is sort f ! 
wife ( 8 bosom seem to be lack+ 9       
t5d]ness4 ,h[ev] t may be1 ,colonel     
,hosk9s _h no soon] got himself into :at
 8 wife condesc5d$ to call a /ate (     
comp>ative dec5cy1 ?an he took d[n 8    
',notice to ,burgl>s1' & tore x into a  
?\s& pieces4 ,t day he _h an electric   
burgl> al>m put into 8 h\se2 he b\ght ! 
savage/ dog t he c\ld f9d1 & he /opp$ ! 
paym5t ( ! *eque1 :i*1 h[ev]1 0 nev]    
pres5t$4 ,he cont9u$ to be ! ,presid5t (
 ! ,society = ,ameliorat+ ! ,condition (
 ,prison]s1 b he /eadily refus$ to      
ameliorate a s+le prison] convict$ (    
burgl>y1 & :ile he 0 always a lunatic 9 
reg>d to o!r crim9als1 he op5ly ma9ta9$ 

t a burgl> 0 ! wor/ ( m51 & t k9dness 0 
utt]ly ?r[n away ^u him4 ,he nev] _h any
 m burgl>s 9 8 h\se1 ?\gh ! dog n[ & !n 
lun*$ (f w>m leg :5 "s /rang] to t "p ( 
! c\ntry v5tur$ into ! ,hosk9s's        
premises at night4 ,hosk9s 0 v fond ( ! 
animal1 :i* 0 q "r1 b 8 practice ( leav+
 a bottle ( :iskey1 ) an ounce ( /ry*n9e
 9 x1 on ! d9+-room table e night1 9    
case a burgl> %\ld succe$ 9 gett+ into !
 h\se1 01 9 my op9ion1 go+ a little too 
f>4 ,antimonial w9e w\ld h be5 mu* m    
humane & suffici5tly effective4 ,b !re  
is no man :o is m sev]e ?an a           
philan?ropi/ :o has be5 turn$ s\r4      
,exp]i5ces ( a ',v>sity ,o>4  ,,by ,,an 
,,old ,,blue4  7,f4 ,c4 ,,drake47       
,,illu/rations ,,by ,,erne/ ,,prat]4    
-----   ,r[+ 9 ! ,univ]sity ,boat ,race 
is n a ?+ to be und]tak5 lightly4 ,to   
beg9 )1 x involves great muscul>        
ex]tion2 b ?is is n unpleasant1 &1 z ,i 
%all pres5tly %[1 is n dang]\s4 ,fur!r1 
x ties ! aspirant to 8 o> = at lea/ t5  
weeks1 :i* is p]haps its greate/        

disadvantage2 & x involves int5se       
application & a pretty good temp] "u    
rem>ks f ! coa* t are sometimes almo/ m 
?an cau/ic4 ,b aga9/ ^! drawbacks are to
 be set ! pleasure ( gratifi$ ambition1 
! heal?y life1 &1 be/ ( all1 ! s5sation 
( ! flight ( ! boat driv5 by eight m51 (
 :om none are really bad o>sm51 & "s are
 uncommonly good4 ,putt+ ^! side by     
side1 no "o ne$ wond] t an old ,blue    
%\ld look on ! "t he sp5t at ,putney z  
"o ( ! be/ 9 8 life4  ,i w pass ov] !   
prelim9>y "w at ! ,univ]sity1 = x       
conta9s no?+ novel or int]e/+1 & is     
ma9ly consum$ 9 settl+ ! crew :o are    
f9ally to r[1 & 9 gett+ ! m5 h>d by     
long1 /eady "w1 to get rid ( fat &      
replace x by muscle4 ,! real int]e/     
beg9s :5 ! crew has be5 settl$1 & ! m5 h
 _h _! col\rs giv5 !m1 & are look+ =w>d 
%ortly to leav+ ! home wat]s4 ,by ?is "t
 !y are fairly fit1 &1 z !y h 9 all     
cases ( d\bt _h ! v be/ m$ical op9ions1 
!y are n v likely to g wrong4 ,!re is a 
good deal ( nons5se talk$ ab\t ! dang]s 

( ?is race to heal?4 ,no man :o is n    
absolutely s\nd 9 w9d & limb is all[$ to
 beg9 tra9+ at all1 = ! obvi\s reason t 
! capta9 does n want "o ( 8 m5 to fail  
him at ! la/ mom5t4 ,x is ab\t z        
probable t a man %\ld g tig] %oot+ )\t  
look+ to see if 8 rifle is load$1 z t ! 
,presid5t ( a ,univ]sity ,boat ,club    
%\ld select an o>sman :o is likely to   
crock up4  ,x is :5 ! crew leave ! home 
wat]s t ! really enjoyable "p ( ! tra9+ 
beg9s4 ,! ,cambridge crew g5]ally1 & !  
,ox=d m5 n infrequ5tly1 g /raight to    
,putney1 b a f> m pleasant plan is to   
sp5d a week or s on ! up-riv] wat]s be=e
 go+ to ! ,metropolitan c\rse4 ,ev]yone 
kn[s ,cookham 9 its summ] dress1 ) a    
pl5tiful cr[d ( holiday-mak]s on ! wat]2
 b 9 ! v e>ly spr+1 be=e ! foliage has  
begun to appe>1 & :5 ! light-he>t$      
*ampagne bottle /ill ne/les 9 its /raw1 
x has also a v great *>m ( its own4 ,!  
fre% air1 & ! *ange to new sc5es1 toge!r
 ) ! /rong /ream caus$ by w9t] ra9s1    
make ! m5 feel l "y bullocks1 & ! boat  

moves ) twice ! spr+ x _h be=e4 ,! jolly
 l\ng+ life 9 betwe5 :iles1 div]sifi$ ) 
songs1 saloon-pi/ols1 & ! l1 ! pleasant 
walk ov] ! hills on ,sunday1 & ! total  
fre$om f all ?\ghts & c>es1 beyond !    
beat+ ( a record ov] ! c\rse next day1  
all g to make up an ,elysian life4  ,e  
n[ & !n ! amusem5t is v>i$ by ! r       
boi/]\s hum\r ( ! elem5ts4 ,"s five ye>s
 ago ! /ate ( ! tide at ,putney r5d]$ x 
necess>y to d mo/ ( ! "w e>ly 9 ! morn+4
 ,x 0 freez+ h>d1 ) occasional %[]s (   
sn[1 & ! coxswa9 absolutely 0 able to /&
 8 coat up :5 he took x (f4 ,x _h got   
dr5*$1 & 0 froz5 /iff6 ,i h sev]al times
 be5 9 a boat :5 we _h to l& & empty out
 ! wat]1 t _h brok5 ov] ! b[ o>s 9 su*  
quantities z almo/ to s9k u4            
,occasionally1 boats h q sunk f ! same  
cause1 :ile ! m5 /uck to _! ?w>ts1      
pres5t+ a comic appe>ance z !y r[$ away1
 seat$1 z x seem$1 9 ! wat]4            
,illu/ration3 ,a ,,"w ,,( ,,g5ius4  ,a  
great consid]ation 9 e/imat+ ! happ9ess 
( su* a "t z ?is is ! "q1 ,:at did y h  

to eat8 ,b ! answ] to ?is has be5 giv5 s
 _m times t x w\ld be m]ely we>isome n[ 
to detail ! v>i\s di%es t are or are n  
good = tra9+4 ,en\gh to say t1 z        
ev]ybody kn[s1 ! old rigor\s sy/em ( raw
 beef & be] is a ?+ ( ! pa/--except !   
be]4 ,n[adays1 x is consid]$ suffici5t  
to bani% all v un:olesome ?+s f ! table1
 :ile keep+ z ne>ly z possible to ea*   
man's ord9>y diet4 ,9 po9t ( quantity   
!re are practically no re/rictions1     
unless ! ,capta9 consid]s t any man does
 n "k :5 he has _h en\gh 7:i*1 alas6 may
 occur72 9 :i* case he may remon/rate ) 
him g5tly1 b firmly4 ,i h se5 a man eat 
= breakfa/ a sole & a half1 ?ree *ops1 a
 poa*$ egg1 & "s wat]cress2 b ,i confess
 t ?is 0 reg>d$ z a "w ( g5ius4 ,!      
ord9>y man 9 tra9+ eats only ab\t twice 
z mu* z any sane p]son1 or p]haps a     
little m2 & z1 ( c\rse1 ! sy/em ne$s    
recup]at+ "u ! great /ra9s t are put ^u 
x1 ?is trifl+ excess has its            
ju/ification4  ,h[ev]1 ! result ( ?is   
we> & te> & repair ( ! muscul> tissue is

 t ! activity ( ! m9d decreases 9 inv]se
 proportion to t ( ! body2 & dur+ a h>d 
c\rse ( tra9+ ! r[+ man is g5]ally r    
sleepy & un9tellectual4 ,?is matt]s all 
! less t /udies are =bidd5--n a v       
difficult rule to en=ce--dur+ ! latt] "p
 ( ! "t4 ,b tra9+ once ov]1 ! /r5g? &   
heal? accumulat$ c c]ta9ly d no h>m ei!r
 physical or m5tal1 & a heal?y body is !
 be/ gu>antee = an active m9d 7see ,lat9
 au?ors & copybooks passim74            
,illu/ration3 ,,lapp$ ,,9 ,,pr(\nde/    
,,sleep4  ,ab\t ?ree weeks or less be=e 
! race a move is made to ,putney1 :]e1 z
 a g5]al rule1 v com=table qu>t]s are   
provid$4 ,! pleasante/ ( all t ! ,ox=d  
crew h _h lately has be5 ! ,lyric ,club 
,h\se2 b x is n really a good place = ! 
m5's heal?4 ,ly+1 z x does1 j d[n by !  
riv]1 ! air is n half s brac+ z t ( !   
high] gr\nd4 ,/ill1 x is und\bt$ly v    
conv5i5t to h a billi>d-table or two to 
:ile away ! m5's "t 9 ! ev5+4 ,)\t      
some?+ ( ! k9d "t is apt to hang v      
heavily on _! h&s4 ,conv]sation flags1 !

 *airs feel v com=table aft] ! day's "w1
 & ,morpheus1 dr[sy god1 /eals 9        
unaw>es4 ,n[1 ?is is n only bad         
hygi5ically1 b is apt to h v awkw>d     
consequ5ces ( a diff]5t k9d4 ,"o man m  
wakeful ?an ! re/ ca/s 8 eye ar\nd1     
seek+ = 8 prey4 ,he spies an un=tunate  
lapp$ 9 pr(\nde/ sleep4 ,8 h& /eals out 
& clut*es a book4 ,he hurls x--& 9 a    
mom5t all is confusion4 ,ea* man1 />t+ f
 8 guilty slumb]s1 spr+s up to ca/ !    
prov]bial /one1 & 9 ?is case usually a  
book1 at 8 fell[-s9n]1 v[+ t he has be5 
wat*+ ! nodd+ ( ! victim1 & only wait+ =
 ! prop] mom5t to visit him ) condign   
puni%m5t4 ,& s1 ) prote/ations1         
objurgations1 & su* light & *e]ful      
pa/ime1 ! h\rs roll away till ! happy   
#aj4cj comes1 :5 all incont95tly roll (f
 to b$4  ,illu/ration3 ',,take ,,x      
,,(f4'  ,b if ! m5 g to b$ e>ly1 !y make
 up = x by ris+ e>ly too2 & if !y are   
sleepy at night1 !y feel delightfully   
fre% 9 ! morn+4 ,a brisk walk ov] !     
common s5ds ! human b>omet] sp9n+       

upw>ds2 !y feel ready = any fun t comes 
9 _! way4 ,&1 alas6 did n ?is same      
buoyancy ( _s n _m ye>s ago involve     
c]ta9 respectable o>sm5 9 a diff]5ce ) !
 executive8 ,tac5da1 inde$6 ,yet if a   
rabbit spr+s up out ( ! gorse1 & ! dogs 
are (f 9 full cry1 c nature 9 su* a mood
 be /ubborn8  ,9 betwe5 :iles ! m5 are  
left almo/ entirely to !mselves1 & are  
free to seek :at innoc5t div]sion !y    
please4 ,! *oice c]ta9ly is n v v>i$4   
,beyond pay+ a visit to ! oppos+ crew1  
*att+ ) fri5ds :o h come to see !       
practices1 or look+ 9 at ! local skittle
 alley1 !re is v little to d4 ,b if !y  
lack div]sion !mselves1 !y d n fail to  
cause great delight to ! juv5ile        
population ( ,b>nes & ,putney4 ,x mu/ be
 premis$1 = ! b5efit ( all :o are n     
habitues ( ,putney1 t ! crews always we>
 dur+ _! tra9+ ! coat & cap ( _!        
,univ]sity ,boat ,club1 & flannel       
tr\s]s4 ,!re are reasons :i* make ?is a 
v necess>y & laudable practice2 b 9 !   
juv5ile m9d x gives rise to ! mo/       

uncompromis+ scorn1 :i* f9ds v>i\s ways 
( express+ itself4 ,take x (f is "o ( ! 
mo/ popul> ( ^!1 & ?\gh x c]ta9ly suff]s
 f a lack ( orig9ality1 x appe>s to give
 great satisfaction4 ,ano!r1 m          
recondite1 b p]haps ironical1 is ,put x 
on4 ,:]e's y] tr\s]s8 ,g x1 :ite legs6  
,:o's y] hatt]8 & _m simil> cries1 all  
te/ify to ! joy\s hum\r ( ! riv]side    
y\?4  ,h>dly less amus+ are ! comm5ts ( 
! cr[d z ! m5 pass ?r\gh to _!          
boat-h\se4 ,t's ,nickalls1 expla9s !    
well-in=m$ g5tleman z a ,cambridge man  
goes by4 ,or1 z ! lightweight hurries   
pa/1 ,don't look z if 'e c\ld d x1      
rem>ks a by/&]1 looks to want a day out 
at grass = !m calves4 ,or1 ',ere1 ,i    
say1 'e's eat a bit ( beef 9 8 day1 ,i  
"k1 z ! heavy man comes 9 sight4 ,x is a
 good-hum\r$ cr[d1 & if ! /rong tobacco 
is a bit (f5sive :5 "o's n all[$ to     
smoke oneself1 ?+s c't be always z we   
%\ld l !m to be4  ,illu/ration3 ',e',s  
,,eat ,a ,,bit ,,( ,,beef ,,9 ,,8 ,,day4
  ,illu/ration3 ,,gett+ ,,rid ,,( ,,fat4

  ,x is ! cu/om = ! ,ox=d crew to use ! 
,london ,r[+ ,club boat-h\se1 :ile !    
,cambridge m5 are accommodat$ at ! ,le&]
 ,club next door1 & !re is accord+ly a  
good cr[d 9 front ( ea* at practice     
times1 eag] to see ! m5 on ^: pr[ess _! 
own mode/ half-cr[ns are /ak$4          
,un=tunately1 z "s ( my read]s may h    
exp]i5c$1 x is n always easy to f9d out 
! exact "t :5 ! crews are go+ out4 ,9   
fact1 ! ,capta9 is an autocrat on ^!    
occasions1 :o rules alike ov] crew1     
critics1 & ! g5]al public )\t di/9ction 
( p]sons1 & :o %[s a spl5did indiff]5ce 
= ! latt]'s conv5i5ce4 ,he laun*es !    
boat at all k9ds ( wondr\s times1 n     
%r9k+ f />t+ half-an-h\r or m be=e ! "t 
he has arrang$1 & ?us disappo9t+ a numb]
 ( w\ld-be spectators4 ,x is ev5 said t 
he (t5 *ooses p>ts ( ! riv] = do+ ! h>d 
"w :]e !re are no well-kn[n l&m>ks1 s t 
no cle> l9e c be giv5 to ! outside      
public4 ,?is may be s4 ,! work+s ( !    
,presid5tial m9d are d>k & my/]i\s4 ,b  
,i d\bt if ! conv5i5ce ( ! public has   

suffici5t weight ) him ei!r "o way or ! 
o!r to influ5ce 8 plans 9 t mann]4 ,&   
?\gh p]haps ?is indiff]5ce may be c>ri$ 
too f>1 yet ! idea :i* und]lies x is a  
p]fectly j "o4 ,! ,univ]sity ,boat ,race
 began z a private mat*1 ( a m or less  
impromptu "* 7^? 7 ! days :5 !y r[$ f   
,we/m9/] to ,putney 9 a huge ,noah's    
,ark ( a boat1 & /opp$ = be] & biscuits 
on ! way d[n1 & :51 x is said1 ! ,speak]
 ( ! ,h\se ( ,commons us$ to leave !    
*air to let ! ,m4,p4's run out & see !  
/>t--b we digress74 ,!n1 by degrees1 x  
atta9$ to its pres5t position ( a great 
fe/ive ga!r+ ( ! _m-head$1 :]e only ab\t
 "o 9 e t5 c>es to glance at ! race z x 
goes by4 ,b1 above all ?+s1 ! race is1 &
 has be51 a purely sport+ ev5t4 ,!      
,briti% lion may put on 8 holiday suit &
 gamble to 8 he>t's cont5t on ! bank1 b 
! sole conc]n ( ! ,capta9 ( ei!r crew is
 to br+ 8 m5 well up to ! scrat*1 & h a 
?or\ghly good1 hone/ race4 ,he has no?+ 
to d ) lett+ ! spectators "k ! real /ate
 ( ! odds1 or help+ !m to w9 _! money4  

,x mu/ be confess$ t1 9 spite ( ! _m    
pleasures indicat$ z belong+ to ?is     
tra9+1 "o gets v tir$ ( x1 j z "o might 
tire ( liv+ 9 ,arcadia1 if1 z is        
probable1 !re 7 no ,club or ,italian    
,op]a !re4 ,x is ) consid]able joy1     
!re=e1 t "o hails ! approa* ( ! race :5 
x is /ill a week (f2 b ?is feel+ is apt 
to be modifi$ z ! days draw on aft] t4  
,funk1 ( c\rse1 attacks ev]ybody m or   
less2 b its viol5ce diff]s v widely 9   
diff]5t m54 ,_m ( ! mo/ unlikely p are  
mo/ liable to x2 & x w\ld probably      
a/oni% a good _m p 7 ,i to say :o is !  
funkie/ o>sman be=e a race t ,i "k4 ,i  
mean by funk1 n ! "u-e/imat+ ( "o's     
*ances--= "s ( ! mo/ n]v\s m5 h a v     
%rewd idea ( !m--b ! irrational         
excitem5t :i* keeps ! bra9 con/antly    
?9k+ ( ! imp5d+ race1 & prev5ts ! suff]]
 f sitt+ /ill or hav+ any com=t1 or1 9 !
 mo/ s]i\s cases1 any sleep1 = two or   
?ree days be=e x4 ,x is a real malady1  
:i* is mo/ di/ress+ to ^? :o are subject
 to x1 b :i*1 luckily1 does n d any h>m 

:5 once ! race is begun4  ,( ! race     
itself !re is v little to say1 except "o
 ?+1 t c\ld n be said equally well ( a  
h>d game ( football or a foot race      
across c\ntry4 ,! ex]tion is1 no d\bt1  
consid]ably great] ?an is involv$ 9 ei!r
 ( ^!1 b ! physical s5sations are v mu* 
! same1 & anyone :o has ent]$ = any race
 at all kn[s ! sort ( feel+ ( desp]ate  
resolve :i* is ! pleasure t rac+ gives4 
,except "o ?+1 ,i said1 & x is t ?+ :i* 
puts boat rac+1 9 _m p's m9ds1 f> above 
any o!r =m ( sport4 ,x is ?is1 t :ile 9 
a foot race a man c leave (f z soon z he
 f9ds ! ex]tion m ?an ! prize is wor?1 &
 :ile 9 football a man may recov] 8     
brea? 9 ! scrimmage or ju/ifiably leave 
! "w = a mom5t to ! o!rs1 9 r[+ e man   
kn[s t1 by a s+le c>eless /roke1 he may 
?r[ ! :ole boat into a confusion f :i*  
!y (t5 _c recov] = _m hundr$ y>ds4      
,ev]yone is expect$ 9 a boat race1 & 9 a
 ,univ]sity race z mu* z any:]e1 to r[ 8
 be/ & h>de/ e /roke he takes1 & nev] to
 slack (f at all4 ,if x is consid]$     

desirable to save up = a spurt at !     
f9i%1 ! /roke w d t by putt+ 9 a few    
less /rokes to ! m9ute till ! "t comes4 
,e man beh9d him is b\nd 9 hone/y to !  
re/ to %ove e /roke ?r\gh z if !re 7 no 
h]eaft]2 & :5 ! h]eaft] comes1 z x does 
ab\t ,*iswick ,eyot1 he w h to rely on !
 ?or\gh condition he is 9 to pull him   
?r\gh4 ,x foll[s t ! :ole secret ( a    
good crew is t ea* man r[s h>d because x
 w\ld n be fair to 8 neighb\rs 9 ! boat 
if he r[$ lightly1 n entirely because he
 wants to w9 ! race4 ,i d n want to     
disp>age o!r sports 9 ! lea/ degree2    
pluck ent]s into !m fully z mu* z into  
r[+4 ,! diff]5ce lies 9 ! inc5tive4     
,boat races1 ( c\rse1 v>y v mu* 9 !     
am\nt ( excitem5t !y af=d2 n diff]+ 9   
?is f any o!r sort ( conte/4 ,( ! la/   
five races1 t ( '#ia 0 ! mo/ ke5ly      
conte/$1 ?\gh ! '#ij race runs x v      
close4 ,bo? ( !m 7 d+-dong /ruggles all 
! way1 n[ "o boat & !n ! o!r tak+ !     
lead1 & nei!r ( !m 7 really won till !  
po/ 0 pass$4 ,clos] f9i%es h be5 kn[n1  

?\gh h>dly beat+ ^! 9 po9t ( excitem5t  
dur+ ! race itself4 ,! well-kn[n dead   
heat ( '#gg is an in/ance2 on :i*       
occasion leg5d ha? x t ! anci5t umpire  
_h be5 regal+ himself h>d by1 & arriv$  
on ! sc5e z ! boats %ot by ! po/1 too   
flu/]$ to take any v accurate           
obs]vations4 ,h[ev]1 z bo? crews 7      
pretty confid5t t !y _h won1 8 decision 
display$ no small %>e ( t l[ cunn+ t us$
 to make a successful umpire4  ,b all   
?+s h an end4 ,! long tra9+ is pass$1 & 
y are seat$ 9 ! boat4 ,! race gets      
f9i%$1 "o way or ! o!r1 & y are seat$ at
 ! fe/ive bo>d4 ,! d9n] vani%es f !     
table1 & y wake up next morn+ feel+ v   
glad :5 y rememb] y c /op an h\r long] 9
 b$4 ,& ! vision ( an editor is at h& to
 h9t t ^! rem9isc5ces mu/ n prove an    
exception to ! g5]al rule1 b mu/ also   
come to a conclusion4  ,illu/ration     
,,! ,,idl]s ,,club  ,is ,*ildhood !     
,happie/ or ! mo/ ,mis]able ,p]iod (    
,"o's ,exi/5ce8   ,sid5ote3 ,g4 ,r4     
,sims says x dep5ds ^u ! *ild4  ,x      

dep5ds s mu* ^u ! *ild4 ,z a *ild1 my   
greate/ delight 0 to give swagg] d9n]   
p>ties to my bro!rs & si/]s 9 ! nurs]y  
on w9t] aft]noons1 :5 we c\ld n g out4  
,! pr9cipal delicacy 9 ^! ent]ta9m5ts 0 
an orange sorbet specially prep>$ by my 
own h&s4 ,"h is ! recipe4 ,squeeze into 
a small cup ! juice ( half an orange1   
fill up ) sn[1 scrap$ f ! outside w9d[  
sill1 & s]ve cold4 ,n[1 al?\gh !        
prep>ation ( ?is delightful delicacy    
gave me an imm5se am\nt ( happ9ess1 ,i  
c\ld r>ely induce any gr[n-up p to      
p>take ( x4 ,!n !re 0 a w9e :i* always  
grac$ ! table at our nurs]y fea/s4 ,we  
call$ x currant w9e1 & made x by putt+ a
 h&ful ( groc]'s currants into a        
w9eglass1 fill+ up ) cold wat]1 & /irr+ 
! mixture up ) a piece ( firewood until 
! liquid 0 a ri* br[n4 ,i h (t51 9 lat] 
life1 paid fifte5 %ill+s = a bottle (   
*ampagne1 & n felt half s happy ov] x z 
,i us$ to be ov] a teaspoonful ( our own
 home-made currant w9e4 ,9 ^! matt]s    
*ildhood 0 ! happie/ p]iod ( my life4 ,)

 reg>d to ! enjoym5t ( games1 ,i nev]   
play$ _m z a *ild1 b z a man ,i h d]iv$ 
! greate/ possible pleasure f !m4 ,i    
nev] le>n$ to skip till ,i 0 ?irty1 & at
 ?irty-five my greate/ delight 0 a game 
( battl$ore & %uttlecock4 ,n[ t ,i am   
turn$ =ty ,i h giv5 up viol5t ex]cise1 &
 tak5 to play+ ) boxes ( bricks & t9    
soldi]s4 ,i am sure t ,i am f> happi] ) 
!m1 n[1 ?an ,i 0 z a *ild4 ,9 my old    
nurs]y days ,i always qu>rell$ ) my     
bro!rs & si/]s ab\t our toys1 & we      
g5]ally f9i%$ up by ?r[+ !m at ea* o!r4 
,n[ ,i c sit on ! floor 9 ! long w9t]   
ev5+s & p]=m ! mo/ wond]ful ar*itectural
 feats ) my box ( bricks1 & nobody ?9ks 
( int]f]+ ) me4 ,) my soldi]s1 too1 ,i  
am mu* happi]4 ,i c place ! ,fr5* &     
,g]man armies 9 battle array1 & devote  
my m9d entirely to complex /rategical   
op]ations )\t hav+ to keep "o eye on !  
armies & ! o!r on ! baby4 ,our baby 0   
always putt+ my soldi]s 9 8 m\?2 &1 on  
"o occasion1 he completely crippl$ !    
,russian =ces by swall[+ _! only g5]al  

at a critical mom5t4 ,s f> z toys are   
conc]n$ ,i am sure t *ildhood 0 n !     
happie/ p]iod ( my life4 ,! real *>m (  
*ildhood1 h[ev]1 is its lack ( ! s5se ( 
responsibility4 ,x is ! s5se (          
responsibility :i* comes ) manhood t    
de/roys ! *>m ( life1 & makes u ?9k (   
our irresponsible *ildhood ) regret4 ,a 
*ild hasn't to tr\ble ab\t ! r5t1 or !  
but*]'s bill1 or ( :at ! _w w ?9k ( x1  
or ( ! duties x owes to society1 to !   
family1 or to itself4 ,at ! co/ ( a few 
te>s or a su/a9$ %riek x c get almo/    
any?+ x wants1 & x is wait$ on h& & foot
 at somebody else's exp5se4 ,x has      
absolutely no responsibility beyond be+ 
occasionally left alone 9 ! nurs]y ) a  
little bro!r or si/]1 ) in/ructions to  
see t baby doesn't fall into ! fire4    
,?is1 b> ! bo!r ( hav+ to grab ! baby   
viol5tly by ! hair to keep x f mis*ief1 
is ideal happ9ess2 & ,i h kn[n "s *ildr5
 to :om ! hair grabb+ 0 a pleasure r ?an
 a duty4 ,x is ! responsibility :i*     
comes ) age :i* always causes u to      

comp>e x unfav\rably ) *ildhood4 ,9     
ano!r matt]1 manhood comp>es fav\rably )
 *ildhood4 ,a man c be z naughty z he   
likes1 & !re is nobody to :ip him unless
 he is a g>rott]4 ,*ildhood is n !      
happie/ p]iod = ^? :o l to be naughty1 &
 naught9ess is ! g5]al idea ( happ9ess4 
,if x 7 n s ev]ybody w\ld try to be     
good4 ,up to ! "t ( go+ to press no     
really popul> movem5t 9 t direction has 
be5 discov]$ by ,reut] or ,dalziel1 or  
our own correspond5t4         99        
99       99       99       99  ,sid5ote3
 ,miss ,clo ,graves ?9ks x an unpleasant
 p]iod4  ,! fir/ ?+ a baby does is to   
h[l4 ,if t *ild knew t he _h got a      
joy\s1 gamesome "t be=e him1 he w\ldn't4
 ,he w\ld smile4 ,b "o ( ! mo/ ende>+   
*>act]i/ics ( *ildhood is its c&\r1 & ! 
baby kn[s t cr\p lies wait+ r\nd ! corn]
 to seize him by ! ?roat1 t ?ru% lurks 9
 ! imp]fectly-wa%$ fe$+-bottle1 t       
w9d-spasms & tee?+ convulsions only wait
 _! opportunity to m>k him = _! prey1 & 
s he h[ls3    ,ah6 7,a pant47   ,ah-ha6 

,,ah6 7,a pause to ga!r =ces47   ,ah-ha6
 ,ah-ha6 ,ah-ha6   ,ah6 ,,ah6 ,e',,ee6  
7,=tissimo1 cresc5do1 & ad libitum47  ,!
 nurse w be likely to say x is a p91 b x
 is n4 ,x is because ! baby guesses :at 
x has got to g ?r\gh be=e x gr[s up4 ,if
 ev] x gr[s up at all4 ,!re is a p]iod  
betwe5 *ildhood & maturity ( :i* "o     
doesn't want to write4 ,no man likes to 
rememb] t he 0 once a long-legg$1       
r$-wri/$ hobbl$ehoy1 :o dr[n$ 8 freckles
 9 blu%es :5 girls1 :o did n happ5 to be
 8 si/]s1 look$ at him1 & %av$          
surreptiti\sly ) 8 "m's scissors4 ,no   
woman c>es ab\t look+ back to ! days :5 
%e _h ?ick ankles1 :i* h] skirts 7 n    
long en\gh to cov]2 :5 %e wore h] hair 9
 a pigtail1 because %e 0 too old to we> 
x loose ^u h] %\ld]s1 & too "y to turn x
 up2 :5 ! front hooks & eyes ( h] frock 
7 always bur/+ (f1 & h] si/]'s swee!>ts 
us$ to call h] little girl4 ,a humiliat+
 exp]i5ce altoge!r1 ! p]iod (           
adolesc5ce4 ,b m humiliat+ /ill x is to 
be a mature1 gr[n-up p]son1 & "k h[ f>  

(f y are f be+ ! wond]ful creature y    
int5d$ to be1 :5 y began ! _w4 ,y did n 
contemplate be+ exactly beautiful--x is 
n = ev]yone to a*ieve t--b y meant to be
 comm&+4 ,y 7 go+ to d ev]y?+ well3 to  
succe$ glori\sly--to be di/+ui%$ &      
brilliant--knock lumps (f ?is poor old  
globe1 9 fact4 ,& n[--well--y hav5't6 ,!
 clay y're made ( is ! ord9>y k9d3 n !  
blue e>? diamonds gr[ 94 ,y might make  
up = y\r absolute lack ( individuality  
by a brilliant suicide4 ,b y don't4     
,y're too commonplace4 ,y're cont5t$ to 
g on be+ nobody4 ,?is may be a calm     
/ate1 b x is c]ta9ly n a happy "o4      
99       99       99       99       99  
,sid5ote3 ,b !re are exceptions4  ,& yet
 !re is a *ildhood :i* is1 maybe1 !     
happie/ p]iod ( our exi/5ce4 ,n ! "t ( !
 %9+ morn+ face--( ! curl$ top-knot--=  
to ! excoriat+ action ( ! soap$ t[el 0  
due t facial poli%1 & ! twi/+ ( ! damp$ 
hair ar\nd ! long-tail$ ivory bru% 0    
att5d$ ) ! %$d+ ( bitt] te>s ( rage &   
pa94 ,b ! second edition ( ! ,book (    

,infancy1 b\nd 9 %rivell$ yell[ lea!r & 
pr9t$ 9 fad$ ink4 ,! _w1 say ! slipp]$  
pantaloon & ! mumbl+ gr&ame1 0 a f9e    
place :5 we 7 "y4 ,& :at is m1 !y really
 believe x4 ,he 0 /rong1 fasc9at+ &     
h&some--%e 0 clev] & beautiful4 ,bo? may
 say s z (t5 z !y l1 & ev]ybody cr$its  
!m--because !y are s old4 ,comple et    
amur illam et amemus3 pl5a e/ voluptatis
 si illa scias uti4 ,come1 g5tle        
,dotage6 ,%ade me ) ?y k9dly w+1 l5d me 
?y rose-col\r$ horn-glasses6 ,let me    
view ! ,pa/1 n z x 01 b z ,i w\ld h _h  
x4 ,s %all ! *ildr5 clu/] r\nd my knee1 
& li/51 wide-ey$ & envy+1 z ,i tell !m (
 ! gold5 days ( my *ildhood1 & ! "y p   
sigh1 he>+ ( ! brave & brilliant1       
beautiful & noble ?+s t nev] happ5$ 9 ! 
bygone "t :5 ,i 0 "y4 ,only ! middle-ag$
 folk look a little d\btful1 & ,dea?1   
lean+ ov] ! back ( my arm*air1 laughs   
outright1 & taps me--z a reprov+ nurse  
might--on ! )]$ lips ) "o bony f+]-tip4 
,aft] :i* ,i fall asleep1 & am c>ri$    
away to b$4         99       99       99

       99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,ald5     
philosophises4  ,i h n be5 a *ild =     
sev]al ye>s2 x is unnecess>y to m5tion !
 precise numb]1 b ,i h a cle>           
recollection ( ! p]iod4 ,my *ildhood 0  
c]ta9ly happy1 s f> z ,i 0 p]sonally    
conc]n$1 b ,i w n g s f> z to say t x 0 
a s\rce ( unmix$ happ9ess to o!rs4 ,z to
 :e!r *ildhood is ! happie/ or ! mo/    
mis]able "p ( our exi/5ce1 !re is s mu* 
to be said on bo? sides t ,i am almo/   
incl9$ to answ] ! "q 9 a judici\s &     
/atesmanlike way1 by say+ t ,i yield to 
no "o 9 my pr(\nd appreciation ( !      
wide-rea*+ importance ( ! "q1 & t ! day 
w c]ta9ly come :5 ! awak5$ consci5ce ( !
 nation w dem& its settlem5t 9          
accordance ) "r & ju/ice4 ,:5 t "t      
arrives ,i ne$ h>dly say t ,i %all be   
f\nd on ! side ( ju/ice1 b ,i am n yet  
:olly conv9c$ t ! "t has fully arriv$4  
,9 ! meantime1 h[ev]1 ,i d n hesitate to
 say t 9 ^? cases :]e *ildhood is happi]
 ?an mature age !re c be b little d\bt  
among ?9k+ m5 ( all %ades ( belief t    

maturity is1 9 "s respects1 at lea/ less
 demon/rably happy ?an *ildhood4 ,n[ t  
w\ld be em95tly judici\s1 b1 on ! o!r   
h&1 x w\ld look l an und]h&$ attempt to 
introduce politics into ! ,idl]4 ,x w be
 bett]1 !re=e1 to treat ! subject 9 a   
philosophic way4 ,! "q :i* ! ,editors ( 
! ,idl] ask is1 aft] all1 a "q z to !   
relative advantages ( ,idealism &       
,realism--spell$ ) ! l>ge/ k9d ( capital
 lett]s4 ,! small boy is ord9>ily an    
,ideali/1 unless1 ( c\rse1 he belongs to
 ! unhappy class ( small boys :o h to   
e>n _! own liv+ :5 !y ought to be at    
play1 & :o1 hav+ no "t = dream+1 become 
,reali/s ( ! mo/ h>d5$ & pa9ful type4 ,9
 ! =m] case ! small boy is happy1 = he  
lives 9 a _w ( 8 own creation1 & = !    
purpose ( happ9ess su* a _w is f> bett] 
?an ! actual _w4 ,9 ! latt] case he is  
g5]ally m or less unhappy1 = he is      
compell$ to see ! _w z x really is1 & he
 f9ds x n all nice4 ,! reali/ic small   
boy c h v little true happ9ess4 ,fancy  
,m4 ,zola's *ildhood3 assum+1 ( c\rse1 t

 he 0 !n a ,reali/1 :i* he probably 0 n1
 judg+ f ! fact t he is only a ,reali/  
pr(essionally at ! pres5t day4 ,to !    
*ildi% ,zola1 life mu/ h pres5t$ itself 
z a s]ies ( human docum5ts4 ,he saw ?+s 
z !y 71 n z a small boy %\ld see !m4 ,he
 c\ld h _h no g5u9e long+s = a life (   
piracy1 = he saw t ! pirate1 in/ead (   
be+ a gorge\sly-dress$ & nobly-*ivalr\s 
h]o1 0 only a brutal ruffian travell+ on
 ! road to ,execution ,dock4 ,t9 soldi]s
 c\ld h br\ght him no happ9ess1 = he    
knew t !y 7 only lifeless bits ( t91 z  
incapable ( fight+ z ! army ( ,monaco4  
,x gave him no pleasure to be dress$ 9 a
 pa/ebo>d helmet & to we> a t9 sword1 = 
he knew t gr[n-up p w\ld n mi/ake him = 
a soldi]2 & t a blue flannel %irt1 & a  
cap ) ! "n ( "s frigate on a silk       
ribbon1 w\ld n lead =eign]s to believe t
 he 0 a ,fr5* admiral at ! age ( sev54  
,he may h f\nd "s little pleasure 9     
play+ m>bles--n1 ( c\rse1 = ! sake ( t  
silly game1 b = ! reason t m>bles are   
portable prop]ty1 & t ! m m>bles a boy  

w9s ! ri*] he is--b = all o!r boyi%     
div]sions he mu/ h felt a pr(\nd        
contempt4         99       99       99  
99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,& doesn't "k4   
,beyond all d\bt ,m4 ,zola w\ld say t he
 is happi] to-day 7) ,nana 9 its #aej?  
?\s&7 ?an he 0 9 8 *ildhood1 b t is     
because 8 *ildhood 0 devoid ( ,idealism4
 ,on ! o!r h&1 if ,i may be p>don$ =    
m5tion+ myself 9 ! same p>agraph ) !    
greate/ noveli/ ( all "t1 my own        
*ildhood 0 happy because ,i liv$ purely 
9 a _w ( ! imag9ation4 ,!re nev] 0 a    
bold] or m truly noble pirate ?an ,i 0  
dur+ ! h\r ( ! ,sunday s]mon1 :5 ,i :il$
 away ! good cl]gyman's disc\rse by     
sweep+ ! seas 9 my piratical s*oon]1 &  
h>r[+ ! ,spani% ,ma94 ,my t9 soldi]s 7  
fle% & blood h]oes1 my kites flew ne>ly 
to ! out] limits ( ! sol> sy/em1 & ,i   
nev] q lo/ ! belief t ,i c\ld dig a     
tunnel to ,*9a ) ! kit*5 fire-%ovel1 _h 
! cook only _h suffici5t sci5tific zeal 
to be will+ to l5d x to me = a few h\rs4
 ,i 0 v happy !n1 b ,i am equally happy 

n[4 ,i h nev] got ov] ! ,idealism ( my  
*ildhood1 & ,i make my own political &  
social _w to-day q z irrationally &     
delightfully z ,i did eighty--well1 :5  
,i 0 a *ild4 ,i d f9d1 ,i admit1 t "o _c
 be an ,ideali/ 9 f9ancial matt]s1 :i*  
is1 aft] all1 ! ma9 s\rce ( unhapp9ess 9
 mature life1 b if y ask me :e!r ,i 0   
happi] 9 *ildhood ?an ,i am n[1 ,i %\ld 
n "k h[ to answ]4 ,all ( :i* goes to %[ 
t ,i might h done bett] if ,i _h /uck to
 ! safe & judici\s 9 my attempt$ answ]1 
in/ead ( yield+ to ! temptation to be   
philosophical4         99       99      
99       99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,miss   
,flor5ce ,m>ryat ?9ks x ! mo/ mis]able4 
,if ,i am to *oose "o1 or ! o!r1        
extreme1 ,i %\ld say decid$ly ! mo/     
mis]able1 & made s by ! folly1          
ignorance1 or neglect ( p>5ts4 ,n       
"o-hundr$? "p ( ! m5 & wom5 :o m>ry are 
fit to become fa!rs & mo!rs4 ,:o does n 
pity ! wret*$ little mortal :om "o      
meets1 dress$ up 9 "s fanta/ic or       
grotesque co/ume1 to gratify ! vanity ( 

^? :o own x1 =bidd5 to run or play1 =   
fe> ( spoil+ ! velvet tunic1 or silk5   
sa%--unable to be com=table ev51 on     
acc\nt ( button$ boots & kid gloves8 ,a 
*ild is simply a "y animal4 ,give x w>m?
 & food & lib]ty1 & x w be happy &      
hungry & heal?y6 ,to dress x up 9 !     
fa%ion1 & let x be dragg$ at ! heels (  
an indiff]5t nursemaid along a pavem5t1 
is tantam\nt to conf9+ a puppy by a     
heavy *a9 to a k5nel4 ,i believe !      
greate/ mis]y ( *ildr5 arises f _! be+ s
 culpably tru/$ to ! c>e ( s]vants4 ,a  
fa%ionable "m engages a head-nurse1 :o  
is well-mann]$1 respectful1 & exp]i5c$1 
& !reupon deliv]s ov] h] *ildr5 to h]   
entire jurisdiction1 p]fectly cont5t if 
!y appe> be=e h]1 at /at$ p]iods1 clean 
& neat1 ) smil+ faces4 ,%e little kn[s  
h[ 79 ! majority ( in/ances7 ! poor     
little creatures are co]c$1 by nurs]y   
discipl9e1 n to betray _! real feel+s = 
! woman :o has !m "u h] influ5ce day &  
night4         99       99       99     
99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,& gives ! reason

 :y4  ,at "o "t1 :5 ,i walk$ daily 9    
,hyde ,p>k1 ,i con/antly met a nurse ^: 
behavi\r to ! *ildr5 "u h] *>ge excit$  
my greate/ indignation4 ,if "o ( !      
little ones lagg$ beh9d ) ! nursemaid1  
or :imp]$1 because x 0 cold or tir$1 !  
head-nurse w\ld %ake x by ! arm1 or     
/rike x across ! head ) su* viol5ce z to
 upset its equilibrium1 & h] voice at   
all times 0 h>% & repell5t4 ,i knew x   
w\ld be useless to speak to h]1 b "o day
 ,i foll[$ h] home to a h\se 9 ,p>k     
,lane1 &1 s5d+ up my c>d1 ask$ if ,i    
c\ld speak to ! mi/ress ( x4 ,! flunky  
in=m$ me %e 0 ,lady--let u say1 ! ,"l   
kn[s :o--& ,i 0 pres5tly admitt$ to h]  
pres5ce4 ,i did n /& on c]emony ) ,lady 
! ,"l kn[s :o4 ,i told h] ,i made no    
excuse = di/urb+ h]1 because if %e lov$ 
h] *ildr5 %e w\ld be v mu* oblig$ to me 
= tell+ h]1 f my p]sonal obs]vation1 t  
%e _h 7unconsci\sly no d\bt7 tru/$ !m to
 ! c>e ( a woman :o 0 n fit to take *>ge
 ( a dog4 ,h] lady%ip he>d me to ! end1 
& !n1 ris+ gr&ly1 t\*$ ! bell = h]      

flunky & said1 ,_m ?anks = ! tr\ble y h 
tak51 b ,i h ! utmo/ confid5ce 9 my     
att5dants4 ,& s ,i 0 b[$ out aga94 ,h[  
_m p>5ts live ) ! little *ildr5 !y h    
br\ght into ! _w8 ,h[ _m tea* !m1 or    
expla9 to !m1 all !y want to "k8 ,x is  
too mu* tr\ble6 ,all t sort ( ?+ is     
delegat$ to hirel+s4 ,h[ (t5 has "o he>d
 an intellig5t *ild snubb$ = ! v        
que/ion+ :i* %\ld be enc\rag$6 ,!       
bright1 eag] little bra91 j op5+1 z x 71
 to all ! wond]s ( liv+1 is bur/+ to "k 
! :y & :]e=e ( ev]y?+ x sees1 & = answ] 
to its excit$ enquiries x only gets su* 
rebuffs z ,don't worry6 ,hold y\r       
tongue6 ,if y don't behave y\rself ,i'll
 s5d y out ( ! room4 ,:i* ( u :o h bra9s
 _c rememb] ! he>t-sick5+ feel+ ( hav+ 9
 "s unconsci\s mann] done wrong by ask+ 
que/ions :i* our eld]s 7 probably too   
ignorant to answ]8 ,& !n foll[$ ! int5se
 long+ to be gr[n-up1 & indep5d5t4 ,c't 
we all rememb] t long+ to be gr[n-up8   
,is x n 9 itself an answ] to ! "q if    
*ildhood is n a mis]able p]iod1 except  

p]haps = a fav\r$ few8         99       
99       99       99       99  ,sid5ote3
 ,phillpotts temporises4  ,i fail to see
 h[ y c ass]t or d5y ^u ?is "q4 ,!re are
 ?\s&s ( happy *ildr5 9 ! _w1 & ?\s&s z 
mis]able z any gr[n-up p]son4 ,x dep5ds 
entirely ^u ^? responsible = !          
individual infant2 & a babe's environm5t
 is really unimportant1 because1 be=e   
intellig5ce sets 91 a *ild wants little 
m ?an w>m? & good food1 & g5]al look+   
aft]4 ,at t e>ly p]iod ! human "y are on
 mu* ! same level z cats & dogs4 ,my dog
 is j z happy z ! ,pr9ce ( ,wales's     
,pom]anian1 because ,i satisfy him2     
social di/9ction has no *>m = him2 bones
 & lit]>y society are suffici5t = a     
creature devoid ( consci\s intellig5ce4 
,9 ! same way an infant may be happy at 
a workh\se1 p]haps ev5 m s ?an 9 a ,p>k 
,lane nurs]y--if !re are su* ?+s z ,p>k 
,lane nurs]ies4 ,b x is :5 intellect    
dawns1 & a *ild is able himself to say  
:e!r he is happy or unhappy1 t he       
becomes int]e/+4 ,!n1 z be=e1 8 measure 

( joy or sorr[ mu/ dep5d ^u ^?          
fell[-creatures :o =m 8 society4        
,probably ! rule t obta9s ( m5 & wom5   
holds good ( *ildr5 also3 ! less bra9   
p[] ! m happ9ess4 ,intellect--especially
 a gr[+ intellect--w give a *ild lightn+
 fla%es ( joy d5i$ to 8 m ?ick-head$    
bro!r2 b mu* sorr[ mu/ also result f 8  
extra intellig5ce4 ,if he rises high]1  
he w s9k f> l[]1 too4 ,! placid1 ord9>y 
y\? ?9ks less1 & dige/s 8 food bett]1 & 
has a pleasant] "t1 on ! :ole4 ,a       
s5sitive *ild feels ) a ke5 fre%ness t  
only ye>s c blunt4 ,to see "s fool ( a  
man cru%+ a clev] *ild is he>t-r5d+4 ,by
 curi\s1 misguid$ in/9cts1 *ildr5 always
 look up to _! full-gr[n companions2 & !
 result is1 t any adult ass c nip 9 !   
bud preci\s *ildi% fancies1 or make     
fatu\s & cru%+ replies to *ildi%        
inquiries1 :i* %[ 9 !mselves ! trembl+  
dawn ( an intellect f> sup]ior to 8 own4
         99       99       99       99  
99  ,sid5ote3 ,& says t clev] m5 loa!   
*ildhood4  ,z a rule1 y w f9d t clev] m5

 look back at _! *ildhood ) lively      
loa?+1 :ile ! av]age ,briton1 if ,heav5 
has giv5 him en\gh memory to recall 8   
e>lie/ y\? at all1 says t x 0 all "r z  
f> z he c rememb]4 ,9 my own small case 
7&1 aft] all1 p]sonal exp]i5ce is nev]  
un9t]e/+--to ! p]son71 ,i c say t until 
,i w5t to a day-s*ool at ! age ( sev51  
or x may h be5 less1 ,i _h a fairly good
 "t4 ,op5 air has a great deal to d )   
happ9ess 9 a *ild--op5 air & pl5ty (    
:olesome food1 & satisfactory p>5ts4 ,n 
t ! victim c>es ov]mu* = rice-pudd+s or 
a good "m2 b ^! ?+s leave _! m>k4 ,z to 
mo!rs1 ,i %\ld say !y h got m m5 & wom5 
into ,heav5 ?an any bi%op1 prie/1       
deacon1 or pr(essional ,*ur*man         
:atsoev]4 ,p]sonally1 ,i am /ill "h1 &  
%\ld be ! la/ to make sure ( any?+1 or  
c\nt my own *ick5s be=e !y are hat*$1 b 
,i h ! privilege ( kn[+ m5 & wom51 to ! 
numb] ( at lea/ five1 :o are und\bt$ly  
b\nd = ,gold5 ,%ores2 & x 0 _! mo!rs'   
do+ 9 e case4 ,fa!rs1 too1 h _!         
significance1 b x is purely temporal1 & 

nev] mu* conc]ns an infant until ! *ild 
rea*es t advanc$ plat=m ( intellig5ce   
:]eon que/ions conc]n+ pocket-money     
arise4         99       99       99     
99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,mrs4 ,panton    
?9ks x ought to be ! happie/4  ,!re w\ld
 be no difficulty :atev] 9 reply+ to !  
"q1 if x runs1 ,%\ld *ildhood be !      
happie/ or mo/ mis]able p]iod ( our     
exi/5ce8 because1 ,i am sure1 we %\ld "o
 & all agree t x mo/ c]ta9ly %\ld3 = we 
h no c>es !n1 no responsibilities2 our  
clean p9a=es are worn )\t ! lea/ notice 
( :at !y co/ to wa%2 our d9n]s1 if      
unappetis+1 are regul>1 &1 if !y are n  
paid =1 d n weigh ^u ei!r our m9ds or   
our bodies2 :ile we nei!r look =w>d nor 
backw>d1 & enjoy our exi/5ce f day to   
day ) all ! fre$om f c>e & anxiety :i*1 
we suppose1 *>act]ises ! life ( a puppy 
or a kitt54 ,b all ?is presupposes t we 
are n 9 ! gr\p ( tyrants1 ei!r 9 !      
nurs]y1 s*oolroom1 or d9+-room1 & t ^?  
:o h *>ge ( u rememb] _! own days (     
*ildhood3 recollect all ! dreams1       

?reats1 & fancies :i* c turn !m into a  
p]iod ( absolute torture2 &1 above all1 
consid] t a *ild is n a %eet ( pla9     
blank pap]1 b t x is a composite        
arrangem5t ( all ! ance/ors t "o c      
rememb]1 & ( _m t "o _c3 = unless ?is is
 s1 no words ( m9e c describe ! mis]y t 
c be inflict$ on a s5sitive1 dreamy     
*ild1 :o1 to a c]ta9 ext5t1 is heavily  
h&icapp$ 9 ! race ( life by ! feeble    
vitality :i*1 z a rule1 accompanies su* 
a disposition1 & :o all too (t5 is made 
a li> by h>% deal+1 & an invalid 9 life 
by ! h>d5+ process1 s de> to ! he>ts ( s
 _m fa!rs1 mo!rs1 & gov]nesses4 ,if1 on 
! contr>y1 a *ild is c>efully /udi$--if 
x be reg>d$ z "o by itself & n a sample 
( a bat*1 :i* mu/ be j z are its bro!rs 
& si/]s--,i ma9ta9 t *ildhood mu/ be ! v
 happie/ "t t we c h3 ! dreams &        
happ5+s1 :i* fill our nights & days1    
make bo? equally delightful1 :ile if we 
are tir$ to dea? by lessons & ! daily   
walk1 we soon gr[ out ( ?is1 because we 
c build our own ca/les 9 ! air out ( !  

drie/ possible task1 & make long &      
elaborate romances = ourselves out (    
!--mo/ likely v commonplace--p we meet  
on our morn+ scamp]4 ,!n1 too1 0 !re n !
 nev]-to-be-=gott5 joy ( ! ye>ly visit  
to ! sea1 & an equally well-lov$ return 
to our usual r\t9e 9 ,london1 to say    
no?+ ( ! fasc9ations ( mak+ up "o's m9d 
on ! subject ( :at "o 0 go+ to be1 & h[ 
"o 0 to b5efit & a/oni% a _w t up to !  
pres5t "t has n seem$ q to come up to   
our expectations on ! subject8          
,und\bt$ly !n ,i say1 if ! *ild is 9    
prop] h&s1 t *ildhood is ! happie/ "t we
 c possibly h4         99       99      
99       99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,b>ry   
,pa9 says *ildi% happ9ess is a delusion4
  ,i h nev] und]/ood ! feel+s ( ^? :o   
are sorry t !y are full-gr[n4 ,to       
diff]5t *ildr5 !re is1 ( c\rse1 a       
diff]5t *ildhood2 b1 z a rule1 !        
happ9ess ( *ildhood is a delusion1 & !  
peace ( ! p]ambulator a my?4 ,i believe 
t any brave & intellig5t man c c\nt on !
 f+]s ( "o h& ! ?+s t w\ld really hurt  

him s]i\sly2 ! long] y live1 ! m y      
realise h[ few ?+s are really important4
 ,b ! tr\bles ( *ildhood are numb]less4 
,! agony ( t]ror is alone en\gh to make 
*ildhood ! mo/ mis]able "p ( "o's       
exi/5ce4 ,! dead came out ( _! graves & 
walk$ into my nurs]y by night2 ,i d>$ n 
op5 my eyes le/ ,i %\ld see !m4 ,!re 0 a
 wait+ figure beh9d e curta9 9 dim-lit  
passages4 ,!re 7 pictures 9 books t     
haunt$ me2 ,i knew two or ?ree ( !m     
well--,i knew ! page on :i* !y came4 ,i 
op5$ ! book & turn$ almo/ up to ! dread$
 page1 & !n wait$2 b ,i _h to g on      
always4 ,i _h to see ! eyes />+ into    
m9e1 & ! lips wri?+4 ,!n ,i %ut ! book  
quickly1 & w5t away to d some?+ or o!r t
 w\ld take my m9d away f ! picture4 ,i  
am glad t ,i am gr[n-up2 ,i %\ld n c>e  
to endure su* madd5+ t]rors aga94 ,i 0  
f> too mu* a%am$ ( !m !n to speak ( !m2 
t made !m worse4 ,i ?9k t no "o :o1 z a 
*ild1 0 afraid ( ! d>k1 w\ld look back  
^u *ildhood z ! pleasante/ p]iod ( 8    
life4 ,&1 if a *ild has m tr\bles ?an a 

man1 he und\bt$ly has few] pleasures4 ,a
 *ild's pleasures are mo/ly due to its  
love ( acquisition1 its vanity1 or its  
appetite be+ tempor>ily satisfi$4 ,f its
 natural affection = its p>5ts or       
fri5ds--if t affection is v /rong--x    
gets f> m suff]+ ?an pleasure4 ,any man 
( av]age intellig5ce c d bett] ?an t2 he
 has "w t int]e/s him1 books1 or music1 
or pictures t mean f> m to him ?an any  
*ild's pleasure means to ! *ild4 ,x is  
easy to love *ildr52 "o ( ! *ief reasons
 is t pity is ak9 to love4 ,& on ?is "q 
( ! unhapp9ess ( *ildhood1 ,i w\ld soon]
 tru/ a man's memory ?an a *ild's direct
 /atem5t4         99       99       99  
99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,b>r is sorry = !
 small boy4  ,! small boy1 poor little  
*ap1 lives "u ! mo/ gall+ despotism t   
exi/s on ! face ( ! e>?4 ,!re is no c\rt
 ( appeal = him4 ,8 fa!r is at once 8   
judge1 8 oppos+ c\nsel1 8 public        
prosecutor1 z x 71 8 jail]1 & 8         
execution]4 ,e man is a natural tyrant4 
,x has tak5 c5turies ( blood%$ &        

m>tyrdom on ! "p ( ! oppress$ to obta9  
ev5 ! poor semblance ( lib]ty t we      
flatt] ourselves we possess4 ,k+s h be5 
behead$1 ?rones h be5 ov]turn$1 cities h
 be5 giv5 to ! flames1 & c\ntries h     
suff]$ pillage & rap9e1 all to knock x  
into ! head ( t tyrannical brute1 man1  
t1 on ! :ole1 x is bett] n to =ce 8     
despotism on 8 fell[-creatures4 ,yet1   
human nature has n *ang$ 9 ! lea/1 & :]e
 man has full sway1 he is z mu* a tyrant
 to-day z he 0 five hundr$ ye>s ago4    
,nations h be5 emancipat$1 b ! k+dom (  
:i* ! small boy is a subject rema9s :at 
x always 04 ,nature1 :o is a well-mean+ 
blund]]1 has tri$ to set ?+s "r1 fir/ by
 plant+ "s natural affection = 8 small  
boy into ! /ony he>t ( ! p>5t1 &1       
second1 by mak+ ! small boy himself an  
optimi/4 ,happily1 !re is always a silv]
 l9+ to ! cl\d t hov]s ov] ! small boy1 
ev5 :5 ! cane is desc5d+ ^u him4        
,trifles please ! poor little fell[ &   
help him to =get ! gloom :i* surr\nds   
him4 ,cov5try ,patmore1 9 t mo/ t\*+    

poem1 ,! ,toys1 tells ( a fa!r :o /ruck 
8 mo!rless son1 & s5t him weep+ to b$1  
&1 be+ t>dily remorseful1 ! fa!r look$  
at ! sleep+ boy1 ^: undri$ te>s 7 /ill  
on 8 *eek1 & f\nd t be=e go+ to sleep ! 
/rick5 lad _h arrang$ 8 trivial toys1   
all ! *]i%$ possessions ( 8 pocket1 s t 
8 eyes might re/ on !m to com=t 8 sad   
he>t4         99       99       99      
99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,b ! future small
 boy w h /ill m tr\ble4  ,! small boy   
does n ga9 mu* :5 he ex*anges ! tyranny 
( ! home = ! tyranny ( ! s*ool4 ,!      
s*oolma/] is naturally a despot1 b he is
 a despot1 limit$4 ,to make up = any    
advantages accru+ f ! ma/]'s            
limitations1 ! ur*9 has to put up ) !   
bully+ ( ! big boy4 ,possibly !re are   
tea*]s :o h human feel+s1 z f> z ! small
 boy is conc]n$4 ,we read ( su* p]sons 9
 books l ,tom ,br[n's ,s*ooldays1 b x   
mu/ n be =gott5 t ^! books are works (  
fiction4 ,! lad :o wrote t 8 ma/] 0 a   
bea/1 b a j bea/1 may n h be5           
exceptionally lucky1 b x is sad to ?9k t

 ! small boy (t5 comes "u ! dom9ion (   
bea/s :o are n j4 ,b ev5 if ma/]s 7 all 
t c\ld be desir$1 ?9k ( ! am\nt (       
p]fectly useless k t a small boy is     
expect$ to acquire4 ,h[ happy 0 ! small 
boy ( #ajfe comp>$ ) ! small boy (      
#ahic4 ,:5 ,william ! ,conqu]or1 ) a    
man's usual he$lessness ( ! com=t (     
small boys1 came ov] 9 #ajff & popul>is$
 t date1 he inaugurat$ a long succession
 ( useless dates t ! small boy is       
compell$ to le>n4 ,e mon>* has _h f\r   
figures atta*$ to him1 l a picture 9 an 
exhibition4 ,yet 0 !re ev] a man /opp$ 9
 ! /reets ( ,london1 & sudd5ly confront$
 ) ! "q1 ,:at ye> did ,h5ry ,,viii4 come
 to ! ?rone8 ,c]ta9ly n4 ,a man w\ld be 
consid]$ insane :o expect$ any rational 
be+ to burd5 8 m9d ) su* trivialities4  
,yet ! small boy is can$ if he doesn't  
"k4 ,! only consolation ,i c (f] !      
un=tunate small boy ( to-day is t x w be
 ev] s mu* worse = ! small boy born     
#cjjj ye>s f n[4 ,e day1 objectionable &
 ?\ghtless m5 are discov]+ new ?+s4 ,!n 

dates w keep accumulat+ j z !y h always 
be5 9 ! habit ( do+4 ,possibly a new    
specim5 ( t dete/able type ( humanity1  
,euclid1 w arise1 & p]haps "s           
consci5celess villa9 may inv5t a m      
complicat$ sy/em ( ma!matics ?an        
algebra4 ,y nev] c tell :at may happ5 9 
#cjjj ye>s4 ,s ! small boy ( #ahic may  
congratulate himself t he is n ! small  
boy ( #dhic4         99       99        
99       99       99  ,sid5ote3 ,mrs4   
,f5wick ,mill] ?9ks x dep5ds ^u ! p>5ts4
  ,*ildhood ought to be ! happie/ p]iod 
( humanity's c\rse2 = *ildr5 are free f 
! two great s\rces ( grief &            
wret*$ness--! /ruggle = money & !       
consci\sness ( sex4 ,! *ildr5 ( ! poor  
"k a want ( _m com=ts1 b ?is is n a     
s\rce ( unhapp9ess4 ,absolute           
necessities ( life1 ! only true wants ( 
*ildhood1 are s few1 & all t is really  
ne$$ by anybody ap>t f cu/om or         
imag9ation is s *eap1 t ,i d n ?9k t m  
?an a small m9ority ( *ildr5 are unhappy
 f actual want4 ,b we1 _! eld]s1        

pa9fully & acutely want a ?\s& ?+s      
because we h ta/$ !m1 or because we h   
imag9ations develop$ to fancy           
effectively h[ we %\ld enjoy !m2 & !n we
 mu/ ne$s try to get !m1 & make         
ourselves wret*$ 9 ! furi\s ef=t aft]   
satisfy+ our desires1 & m wret*$ /ill   
because we don't fully succe$4 ,if we   
c\ld take life z *ildr5 9 ?is respect1  
actively want+ only absolute necess>ies1
 & n hav+ to ourselves /rive = ev5 !    
money by :i* t m9imum ( wants is to be  
suppli$1 w\ld n mo/ ( our tr\bles ( ?is 
actual mom5t vani%8 ,^? t rema9$1 w\ld  
!y n ne>ly all 7giv5 heal?7 hang on !   
tragic fact ( sex8 ,oh1 t g>d5 (        
,ge?semane ( humanity1 ) its blight$    
se$l+s & its bla/$ blossoms6 ,h[ ke5 are
 its sorr[s ( desires ungratifi$ &      
desires satiat$--its cruel losses & its 
yet m cruel relics t w rema94 ,oh1 t    
dreadful fact ( sex1 ) its emotional    
agonies1 its moral problems1 its        
intellectual int]ruptions1 its social   
burd5s1 & only too (t5 its physical     

pangs--if we 7 rid1 z *ildr5 are1 ( all 
t1 & ( ! /ruggle = means to meet ! daily
 mat]ial wants1 %\ld we n be fairly     
happy8 ,!n *ildhood1 free ( all ?is1 mu/
 ne$s be ! happie/ "t ( life6