,transcribed from the ,skeffington ,son tenth edition by ,david ,price1 email ccx#jgdpglaf4org ,,boys3 ,,their ,,work ,,and ,,influence4 ,tenth ,edition4 ,,london3 ,,skeffington ,,son1 ,,piccadilly1 ,w4 ,,publishers ,,to ,h4,m4 ,,the ,,queen ,,and ,,to ,h4,r4,h4 ,,the ,,prince ,,of ,,wales4 ,by the same ,author1 #i;d41 elegant cloth1 #ajth ,edition4 ,,girls3 ,,their ,,work ,,and ,,influence4 ,,new ,,book by the same ,author4 #crd ,edition4 ,elegant cloth1 price #as4 #f;d41 by post #as4 #h;d4 ,,he ,,that ,,serveth3 ,counsel and ,help for ,workers2 being ,short ,readings1 etc41 specially1 but not solely1 adapted for ,domestic and other ,servants1 etc41 ,including most of the ,,church ,,seasons2 on various ,,duties1 ,,faults1 ,,temptations1 etc42 ,,confirmation1 ,,holy ,,communion1 etc4 ,the ,publishers believe this little book will be most useful in meeting a very felt want4 ,,introduction ,the following papers were written at the request of one who had read the somewhat similar papers addressed to girls4 ,the object aimed at in both books has been to try and help ,boys and ,girls of the so-called working classes to recognize their duties to ,god and their neighbour1 and to use on the side of right the powers and opportunities which ,god has given them4 ,it seems to the author that advice given to the so-called lower orders1 often partakes too much of patronage1 and too little of the brotherhood1 that should be a sign of ,christians4 ,do as you are told and be thankful1 is too much the tone of the advice1 instead of explaining duties1 pointing out opportunities1 and recognizing them as fellow-labourers in the great work4 ,in ,god's household everyone has his place assigned to him by the master1 some to govern1 and some to serve1 but still all are fellow-servants of that one ,master1 and brethren in ,christ4 ,,boys4 ,what a curious fellow a boy is4 ,i wonder if boys ever think about themselves4 ,a young monkey is full of mischief1 a young puppy is full of play1 a young kitten is always ready for fun1 but a boy seems to combine the qualities of all three1 and to have a stock of his own to jumble up with them4 ,a boy has so many sides1 not only an outside and an inside2 he is a many sided being4 ,see him at one time and you would hardly suppose him to be the same creature that you had seen a little while before4 ,now he is a bright nice spoken lad1 in a few moments he is a bullying tyrant1 now he is courteously answering those who speak to him1 now words come from his lips that shock the hearer4 ,now he would scorn to have his word doubted by a comrade1 now he does not hesitate to lie to escape punishment4 ,now fearless1 now a coward1 now full of spirits1 now in the depths of woe--sunshine or joy1 wind and calm1 silence and tumult1 all seem to have their place1 and to make up that incomprehensible and yet delightful animal a boy4 ,now boys1 ,i want you to think of yourselves--not to think how good or how bad you are--what fine fellows you are1 and what important persons1 but what you are capable of becoming4 ,you will not remain boys always--you are now1 in the midst of all your oddities1 forming your character1 and shaping your future course1 drawing out of the midst of all your contradictions the character that will make you honest ,god-fearing men1 like in your degree to the perfect pattern of manhood which ,god has set before us in ,christ--or you are letting yourselves be moulded into the selfish sensual being1 which too often degrades the name of man4 ,thinking1 ,i know1 is not much in your line at present1 but you will perhaps spare me a few minutes1 and give me a little of your attention while ,i try to point out to you the way in which you may1 if you will1 turn your powers to account1 and avoid the dangers which have been the shipwreck of many a lad's bright prospects4 ,,home ,,and ,,school ,i shall take it for granted that you care for your parents and home1 or at any rate that you would like to have a comfortable home4 ,well1 then1 make it so yourself4 ,you can do a great deal towards it4 ,honour and obedience is your first duty towards your parents4 ,there is nothing manly in disobedience4 ,honour and obey1 readily and cheerfully4 ,not simply obedient to father because he might thrash you2 and disobedient to mother because she cannot compel you4 ,no1 the truest honour in a boy is when mother can thoroughly trust him--trust him to obey her because she is mother4 ,brothers and sisters are often a trouble4 ,how those children do nag8 ,never can leave those boys together4 ,he's sure to teaze her if ,i leave them alone4 ,don't be a bully either to your brothers or sisters4 ,don't be selfish and claim all you can for yourself4 ,share and share alike should be the rule1 and gentleness towards the girls and little ones4 ,school will help to take the nonsense out of you2 you cannot have it all your own way there4 ,boys will be boys1 is a very common expression1 and it would be very funny indeed if boys did not turn out to be boys1 but that is no reason that boys should be rude or cruel1 and in fact little cubs4 ,quarrels there will be sometimes--very often for no real reason1 sometimes for a good cause4 ,if you have one fight it out then and there1 and bear no malice afterwards4 ,i would rather see a fair fight and have done with it1 than keeping up a nasty quarrel1 and trying to spite one another in little mean ways4 ,there is too often a want of real honour amongst boys4 ,telling tales of one another seems to be the fashion1 and the favourite way of paying off old scores4 ,there are of course times when a boy must speak out against wrong1 even at the risk of being counted a sneak1 but1 as a rule1 boys who delight in telling tales1 and who have not the sense of honour to stick by one another are a very poor lot4 ,do your school work thoroughly4 ,idleness is not only wrong but foolish4 ,there is a time for work and a time for play4 ,learn as much as you can and learn thoroughly if you want to be of any use in after life4 ,a boy's religion is not a thing that shows very much on the surface1 or that he is very likely to talk much about1 but it must be in him if he is any worth4 ,boys and girls alike should learn from their mother to say their prayers night and morning1 and when they become too old1 or mother too busy for them to say them at her knee1 they should never omit to say them by themselves4 ,i heard the other day of a rough labouring man1 who on his death bed sent for the priest of his parish4 ,he said he had never been inside a ,church since he had been a man4 ,he had done his work honestly1 and lived steadily1 but had altogether got out of the way of going to ,church4 ,there was one thing1 however1 that he had always done4 ,long years ago1 as a lad1 he had promised his mother never to get up in the morning or go to bed at night without saying his prayers4 ,this promise he had kept faithfully4 ,night and morning that rough strong man had knelt and said the same prayers which he had first learnt at his mother's knees4 ,those prayers had been heard and had brought their blessing to him4 ,church going on ,sunday is as important as daily prayers4 ,a ,sunday morning should never be allowed to pass without seeing you at ,church4 ,lie a bed on ,sunday morning is the devil's version of the fourth commandment4 ,there is plenty of time on ,sunday for ,church as well as for walks and talks4 ,sunday is not to be a miserable day1 or all ,church and prayers1 but ,god first and then ourselves4 ,sunday school you will most likely be sent to as long as you go to day school1 and you will be wise not to give it up as soon as you are what you would call your own master4 ,both home and school ought to have their pleasures as well as their work4 ,do your work thoroughly1 and do your pleasures thoroughly also4 ,share your pleasures with the others1 and with father and mother4 ,you can give much pleasure to father and mother1 as well as to yourselves1 if you try4 ,love ,god and love your home--be obedient1 truthful1 and plucky--standing up for the right1 and not ashamed to refuse to join in the wrong2 and your home and school days will train you well for your work in life4 ,,going ,,to ,,work ,what are you going to be8 is a question that has to be settled very early in life--earlier amongst the so-called working classes than any other4 ,it must be settled at about thirteen years old4 ,fortunately for you it is not whether you shall do anything for your living or not1 but in what way you shall earn your living4 ,some people seem to look upon work as if it were a degrading thing1 and only to be used until they can afford to live without it4 ,life is not worth calling life that is not downright honest work1 and a man is hardly a man at all who is not a working man--working either with his hands or his brain1 or both4 ,in determining what your calling in life shall be you must consider two things1 #ast4 ,whether the calling you wish to follow is an honest and lawful one4 #bnd4 ,whether you are fitted for it4 ,if you can say yes to both these questions1 then1 provided your parents approve1 follow out your natural inclination4 ,a lad is far more likely to succeed in life if his heart is in his work1 than if he has to work against the grain4 ,on the other hand1 you will never deserve success if you go against your parents' wishes4 ,if they see reasons against the particular calling you wish for1 7and perhaps are really fitted for71 your duty is to follow their wishes1 and bide your time4 ,if your inclinations really point to that to which ,god calls you1 ,he will show you the right way to it in ,his time1 and your obedience to your parents will not have been wasted time4 ,there are certain occupations which are not honourable1 but by which men gain a living1 which are not to be considered for a moment1 as e4g41 gambling and betting4 ,there are certain for which you would not be fitted by education or ability4 ,whatever calling you choose seek ,god and ,his righteousness first1 i4e41 choose that which will make you fit for the next world as well as that which will make you comfortable here4 ,honest work thoroughly done here will be no bad passport for another world4 ,when you have once chosen your calling stick to it1 carry it out thoroughly1 and with a determination to get on4 ,never be in a hurry to change1 and never do so without a good reason4 ,never rest satisfied that you have done enough1 or think that you cannot do better4 ,it is told of a celebrated sculptor1 that he said1 ,i shall fail in my next effort1 for ,i am satisfied with this4 ,aim high and do your best4 ,every shop-boy may not become a ,lord ,mayor1 but every one who aims at getting to the top of the tree1 and goes steadily at it1 will find himself at last a good way from the ground4 ,now supposing you have made your choice and started in work you will find a great difference between this and school life4 ,you will mix with elder people and a different set2 you will have more freedom1 and possibly a little more money4 ,don't think you are a man all at once1 because you are nothing of the sort1 and nothing makes a lad look more ridiculous than to see him trying to be a man before his time4 ,you know the story of the toad and the ox4 ,you have much to learn yet4 ,stick to classes and learn all that you can4 ,sunday classes as well as night classes4 ,there is nothing manly in giving up religious duties2 quite the contrary1 it is cowardly4 ,do your work honestly and thoroughly1 even though it be the custom to do otherwise4 ,boys are pretty sure to have some hobby of their own1 and a very good thing too4 ,a boy is all the better for a hobby1 even if he takes it up and drops it again4 ,it is a good thing for a lad to have some private interest of his own4 ,if therefore your hobby is not anything harmful follow it out with a will4 ,,religion4 ,i had some doubts about the heading of this chapter3 ,religion ought not to be a separate thing from daily life1 and1 therefore1 all remarks on the subject ought to come under one or other of the chapters which treat of the different duties of life4 ,there are1 however1 certain definite religious duties which may perhaps be spoken of more clearly in a separate chapter4 ,i would ask you always to bear in mind that no religious duties are of much value that are not a regular part of our daily life1 and that there is no line to be drawn between natural and religious duties4 ,whether1 therefore1 ye eat or drink1 or whatsoever ye do1 do all to the ,glory of ,god4 ,prayer1 private and public4 ,what ,i have said in a former paper holds good now4 ,no boy can safely neglect his morning and evening prayers and his public worship on ,sundays4 ,prayer should include daily self-examination3 no one can get on in the world unless he looks after his own affairs1 and reckons from time to time how he stands4 ,so with our daily life--we should try it day by day1 and see if we are keeping straight4 ,each night we should look back over the day1 see what has been wrong1 what imperfect--seek pardon for the wrong1 and determine1 by ,god's help1 to amend it4 ,public ,worship once a ,sunday1 i4e4 in the morning1 is the duty of every ,christian3 whether we go oftener is a matter of choice1 but less we cannot do without failing in our duty4 ,attendance at the full morning service1 i4e4 the celebration of the ,holy ,communion1 is the prayer-book rule1 whether we observe it or not4 ,regular ,communion is absolutely necessary4 ,how frequently it is advisable to come must depend upon circumstances1 but speaking generally ,i should say1 in the words of one whose opinion carries great weight1 that monthly ,communions are the very fewest which anyone seeking to serve ,god devoutly can make4 ,i have taken it for granted that you have been confirmed1 which will probably have taken place about the time of leaving school4 ,confirmation ought to make a marked change in your life4 ,firstly1 because you are more directly responsible for yourself1 and1 secondly1 because it brings you into closer relation1 for a time at least1 with your clergyman4 ,before your first communion the prayer book speaks to you very distinctly about personal advice and intercourse with your parish priest4 ,neither your first or any subsequent communions are to be made unless you are satisfied as to your own fitness to come to it4 ,if you are in doubt you are advised to go to ,god's minister1 lay before him those sins that make you afraid or doubtful of coming1 and seek his advice4 ,this is not pleasant1 but it is useful4 ,many people speak against it1 but it is ,christ's appointed way4 ,if you feel that this will help you1 go as often as you need1 and do not be stopped by any foolish remarks of people who do not understand it1 or by any thought of its being a weak and unmanly thing to do4 ,it requires courage1 perseverance1 and a true estimate of oneself to do it1 and these are not generally considered unmanly qualities4 ,some of the best men1 some of the bravest soldiers1 have not been ashamed of using this means of grace4 ,knights of old were accustomed to confess before they went into battle4 ,read the life of ,henry ,v4 of ,england4 ,he was no milksop1 or1 as people would say now-a- days1 priest-ridden king1 but he did not look upon it as an unmanly thing4 ,you are free to choose1 or free to refuse it2 only pray to be guided aright by ,god's ,holy ,spirit to do that which shall be most to ,his glory and your soul's good4 ,almsgiving4 ,whatever money you have of your own some portion--a tenth1 if possible1--should be given to ,god in some way or other4 ,bringing others to ,god4 ,we must not be selfish in our religion--if ,god has made known the truth to us we must do our best that others may share it also4 ,you can do much in a quiet way1 not only by example3 you can get a word in where others have not a chance4 ,many a youngster would gladly keep from wrong1 and go on steadily1 if he had only someone to stand by him4 ,it is not enough to be good1 we must do good1 and never laugh at another for his religion4 ,many years ago a thorough change was worked in a school by the courage of one little boy4 ,he came fresh from home1 where he had been accustomed to say his prayers4 ,he knelt down in a school dormitory1 as he had been used to do at home1 by his bedside4 ,there was a sudden silence1 the boys were astonished4 ,then some began to bully and try and stop him2 others stood up for him4 ,but the battle was won4 ,the better minded boys saw what cowards they had been to give up what they knew was right for fear of chaff--one by one they gradually followed his example1 and before that lad left school it was the rule and not the exception for the boys to say their prayers4 ,fasting4 ,people understand feasts and are ready enough to keep them1 but fasting is quite another matter4 ,feasts should be kept1 and the more the great festivals are recognized the better4 ,fasting1 however1 is quite as necessary4 ,appointed times in which to remember more particularly ,christ's suffering for us1 to deny ourselves lawful pleasures1 and to make us think more of our sins and how to conquer them4 ,they keep us from getting careless1 and letting our religion become a sort of ,sunday clothes1 to be put on at certain times1 but to have no real effect upon our daily life4 ,one thing more4 ,god has given you brains and the power to use them4 ,you are bound then to try and learn about ,god1 and the duty you owe to ,him4 ,every year you ought to advance in knowledge1 and not be content with the little you were taught as a child4 ,read your ,bible--think it out for yourself--pray for understanding1 and study such books as will help you to a better knowledge of it4 ,,courage4 ,boys and men are great cowards4 ,there is hardly any accusation that an ,englishman or boy resents so much as to be called a coward4 ,still ,i venture to make the accusation1 and will try and make good my words4 ,i do not mean that you are cowards in the sense of being afraid to attempt any act of daring4 ,you have pluck enough to tackle a fellow half as big again as yourself1 pluck enough to endure pain without a word1 pluck enough to risk your life to save another1 but too often you have not pluck enough to say no1 or to brave a laugh4 ,that is what ,i mean by saying that men and boys are cowards4 ,you will let the worst fellow of the lot be the leader and give the tone to conversation because you have not the pluck to say boldly that it is wrong1 and that you will not join in it4 ,this want of moral courage makes a lad give up little by little his hold on what is right4 ,sunday school1 ,church-going1 prayers given up because ,jem chaffs so about them4 ,if he chooses to neglect them that is his look out4 ,you have as much right to your opinion as he has to his4 ,why should you let him show more courage in doing wrong than you in doing right4 ,are you afraid of him8 ,no4 ,well then1 stick to your duty4 ,i said just now that going to work throws you in with a different set of companions4 ,here1 specially1 comes the test of your courage4 ,are you going to follow bad leaders1 or have you the courage of your own opinions4 ,there is one particular subject where courage is most needed1 and where it most often fails4 ,a young lad naturally wants to seem to be manly--has a sort of feeling that he would like to show that he is not just a little boy and bound to do as he is told4 ,he is tempted to show his manliness by neglect of home commands1 rough and rude manners1 bad language and bad talk4 ,i have remarked before how home obedience and true manliness go together2 here ,i want to speak more particularly about bad language and bad talking1 and the evil it leads to4 ,s4 ,paul speaks about it very plainly when he says1 speaking of the things that should not be named amongst ,christians1 neither filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting1 which are not convenient4 ,now1 boys1 all indecent words and conversations are wrong--they are sinful1 unmanly1 degrading4 ,i know you cannot help hearing much that is wrong4 ,shame1 be it said1 to the men of ,england--yes1 men who talk of advancement and freedom1 men who are fathers of families1 that they too often make or allow the talk of the workshop to be such that no boy can work there without hearing words and jokes which are not fit1 ,i do not say for ,christians to hear1 but not fit to be spoken4 ,hearing words of evil you often cannot help4 ,to join in them you can and must refuse1 and unless you do so refuse you are a coward and false to your profession4 ,i do not speak here of actual deeds of sin--no one can do or join in an impure deed without knowing that he is sinning1 but many think that there is no great harm in listening to and laughing at what others say4 ,be warned in time1 it is but a very little step from laughing at to joining in bad conversation1 and a very small step from words to action4 ,the same want of courage that joins in the laugh will make it difficult to say no when tempted further4 ,never1 with companions of your own sex1 and still more with those of the opposite sex1 let any corrupt communications proceed out of your mouth4 ,if it is necessary for you to speak upon such subjects ask advice of those older than yourself1 and not of companions of your own age4 ,you know lads that you love your mother and care for your sisters4 ,you would be furious if anyone spoke to or of them as you sometimes hear women spoken of4 ,what would be an insult to them is an insult to any woman4 ,stand up for the honour and respect due to others as you would for your own mother or sister4 ,you would not talk like that before your mother4 ,make it a rule never to do or say anything that you would be ashamed to say in her presence1 or in the presence of anyone you respect4 ,courage is what you want here and plenty of it1 but if you will only make a stand for the right1 strength1 not your own1 will be given you4 ,i can tell you of one who did so try and do the same4 ,bishop ,pattison1 who died some years ago1 when he was fearlessly doing his duty in the islands of the ,pacific1 was1 once a boy1 face to face with this difficulty4 ,he was in the cricket eleven of his school--a good player and very fond of the game4 ,it had become the custom at cricket suppers for bad talk to be indulged in4 ,pattison one evening rose up at the table and said1 ,if this conversation is to be allowed ,i must leave the eleven4 ,i cannot share in this conversation--if you determine to continue it ,i shall have no choice but to go4 ,they did not want to lose him1 and the foul conversation was stopped4 ,,money4 ,the love of money is the root of all evil4 ,nevertheless1 money in a civilized country is a necessity4 ,how to make it is one of the great questions1 and how to spend it aright is one of the great difficulties4 ,money is power4 ,it is power1 if we use it aright1 it overpowers us if we use it badly or even carelessly4 ,it is a great mistake to want to make your money too quickly1 and a still greater mistake to think that you are likely to do so4 ,money that is the result of honest labour will1 if rightly used1 be a blessing to you and yours4 #ast4 ,how to make it4 ,by honest labour1 honestly done4 ,you have chosen your trade or occupation--let your money be honestly earned therein1 and look more to the quality of your work than to the quantity of your money4 ,you have a right when you have learnt your trade to a fair day's wage for a fair day's work1 but be sure that the word fair governs both the work and the wage--the fair work must be done before the fair wage can be rightly claimed4 ,there is far too much scamping work in the present day1 working simply for money and not for any interest in the work itself4 ,money should not be a man's test of success1 but the perfectness of his work4 ,men used once to work for love of their art1 and so long as the picture was painted or the sculpture wrought1 they cared little for the money they were to gain by it1 or the hardship of their lives1 but now men paint for what the public will pay for1 and write and work not from their hearts but for their pockets4 ,and with high and low1 not success but money is the moving power--not how can ,i can make it more perfect1 but what can ,i get for it4 ,a man who will leave a piece of work1 or a clerk who will leave a few minutes writing only because the clock has struck the hour1 is little better than a money-making machine4 ,work done in such a spirit did not give us men like ,wren or ,stephenson4 ,read their lives and you will see what ,i mean4 ,if your work is thoroughly and honestly done1 you have a right to your own price for it1 if you can find a purchaser4 ,you have a right to sell your labour at your own price1 but the master has an equal right to buy or to refuse4 ,combinations and unions of working men are perfectly right1 if they unite for their own advantage1 and for protection against oppression1 and strikes may1 though in very rare cases1 be a painful necessity4 ,it must be borne in mind that there can be no fixed standard of wages4 ,wages must vary with the state of the markets4 ,men must be ready to accept lower wages when trade is dull1 they must bear their share of the depression as well as the masters1 and the true principle is for men and masters1 or if you like the expression better1 capital and labour to go hand in hand4 ,the success or ruin of the one is the success or ruin of the other4 ,there are of course cases of grasping masters who will endeavour to grind their workmen1 and there are cases of worthless and obstinate workmen1 who look only to themselves and the present moment1 but both ought to be and might be very rare exceptions1 if the good and true men on both sides would come to the front4 #bnd4 ,how to spend the money4 ,remember that you are ,god's steward1 and will have to account for the use of this bounty4 ,give your tithe to ,god first4 ,the tenth part of your profits1 whether reckoned weekly or yearly1 should be given to ,god in some way or other1 and those who do it will find themselves blessed in earthly things1 whilst they are laying up a treasure in heaven4 ,god's tithe paid1 how is the rest of your income to be spent8 #ast4 ,necessary expenses1 i4e41 food1 clothing1 c4 #bnd4 ,useful expenditure1 i4e41 learning1 books1 c4 #crd4 ,recreation and minor luxuries4 ,pay your way as you go1 and never run into debt4 ,debt is next door neighbour to theft4 ,two things ,i would impress upon you1 first1 that where the need is you should repay your parents care by helping them4 ,england is disgraced by the number of old people who are left to the care of the parish by children who ought to be thankful to be allowed to support them4 ,secondly1 that it is your duty to make provision for the future1 so that the workhouse may not even enter into your calculations1 as a possible refuge in old age for you and yours4 ,this can be done by regular savings1 even though very small1 and by insuring your life4 ,post office and other savings' banks1 will help you in the former1 and various insurance offices offer special facilities by weekly and monthly payments for the latter4 ,,amusements4 ,recreation is as necessary as work4 ,what kind is to be sought after1 and what avoided8 ,for health's sake1 if for nothing else1 boys should have some kind of out-door amusements4 ,a boy has an easy choice of good and healthy recreation1 and therefore has no excuse for taking up with bad objects4 ,cricket1 ,rowing1 ,volunteering1 and such-like1 are healthy1 and easily obtainable recreations4 ,gambling1 drinking1 loitering1 are not to be thought of for a moment1 they are the curse of the lazy and weak-minded4 ,theatres are very good if you keep out of the cheap and nasty ones4 ,music halls are much better avoided4 ,i do not say that it is necessarily wrong to go there1 or that you are certain to come to harm if you frequent them1 but there is more chance of temptation1 and an inferior entertainment for your money4 ,well acted plays may open out your mind1 but the silliness of the music hall entertainment will only react upon you4 ,you can tell a music hall frequenter1 not by the words of his mouth so much as by the shuffle of his feet3 his highest ambition seems to be to dance the double shuffle1 and perhaps sing a few verses of some jingling rhyme4 ,out-door recreation is not so easily attainable1 in the winter1 as the time at your disposal is so short4 ,in-door amusements must1 to a great extent1 take their place4 ,the gymnasium is a good institution2 chess is a game worth learning1 and very fascinating to some minds2 cards are good as long as gambling is avoided1 and many other games readily suggest themselves to one's mind4 ,reading will be more to the liking of many4 ,read books which are worth reading1 not the penny trash which shops offer to the boys of ,england4 ,i should hope that the boys of ,england have sufficient brains to care for something a little above the penny dreadfuls1 otherwise it is a bad look out for the future men of ,england4 ,independently of libraries you can now get books1 by good writers1 as cheap as sixpence--,walter ,scott1 ,fennimore ,cooper1 ,maryatt1 ,dickens1 c4 ,a word about books4 ,of course1 in books by writers such as ,i have mentioned you will find many things spoken of which are wrong and ought not to be4 ,they must write so if stories are to be written of life as we find it1 and mere goody-goody books1 which avoid all mention of such things1 are unnatural1 and do not give true pictures of life4 ,the harm of too many cheap publications1 and not only the cheap ones1 is1 that in speaking of these things they make them appear unavoidable1 and even worthy of praise4 ,good writers show how revolting crime and evil is1 how they can be overcome and resisted1 and how truth and honesty must prevail in the end4 ,the difference between good books and plays and bad ones is not so much the subjects they write about as the way in which they speak of them4 ,some of the cheap literature is only foolish1 some is distinctly wicked1 but both are better avoided1 and your time and money spent on worthier objects4 ,avoid bad company1 and take care that your recreations are manly and honest4 ,,home ,,duties4 ,as soon as you begin to bear your share in the expenses of home1 you will naturally look to have your word in the arrangements thereof4 ,from the time that you begin to earn your own living1 until the time that you make a home for yourself1 there will be certain home duties which you have no right to neglect4 ,first of all1 you must be ready to bear your fair share in the expenses of the home4 ,when first you go to work1 you will probably be expected to bring home all your money1 and have a certain sum given to you for pocket money4 ,as you grow older1 you will agree to pay a certain sum for your board and lodging1 and keep the rest for yourself4 ,let your payments be such as will do a little more than actually cover the expense of what you have4 ,give a thought to the general comfort of the home1 and in time of need when perhaps your father's work is slack1 be ready to increase your help1 even though it may decrease your own personal comfort4 ,secondly1 you must acknowledge the authority of the head of the house1 and respect his wishes as to home arrangements1 time for being in at night1 c4 ,thirdly4 ,recognise your responsibilities to your brothers and sisters4 ,if you are the eldest son you are bound to be the example1 and if need be the protector of the others1 and whether elder or not you have still your duties and responsibilities4 ,a good brother is a great help to a sister1 and her brother's good opinion will be something which she will be very sorry to forfeit through any fault of hers4 ,for your sisters' sake specially you are bound to be careful that your companions whom you may bring home with you should not be such as would not be fit company for them4 ,your duties to your parents ,i have already mentioned1 and the older you grow the more thoroughly you should carry them out1 so that1 as you grow out of mere boyhood1 you may become more and more the companion and friend of your father1 and more and more the comfort and support of your mother4 ,it is a great thing in time of trouble to have one son to whom they can look without fear of his help failing them4 ,it is far too common to see young fellows1 so soon as they can earn enough to support themselves1 leaving home and going into lodgings because they are freer and more comfortable1 and leaving their parents to struggle on with the youngsters4 ,it is a selfish and ungrateful course1 and therefore sure to be without a blessing from ,god4 ,i am talking now of those whose work keeps them near home1 and who only leave their home to escape its duties1 or as they would miscall them1 its burdens4 ,many1 of course1 must leave home4 ,if work calls you elsewhere it is another matter4 ,it would be a very good thing in many instances if young fellows would have the pluck to emigrate and make their way in a new country4 ,englishmen are getting too fond of stopping at home where the labour markets are overstocked4 ,emigration is one of the best openings for a young fellow if he makes up his mind to work1 and does not expect a fortune to fall into his lap because he has gone to a new country to seek it4 ,,self-,,improvement4 ,boys generally leave school at about thirteen years of age1 but they make a very great mistake if they leave off learning at that age4 ,time might be roughly divided off into four parts--necessary work1 work for others1 self-improvement1 and recreation4 ,a man's education is never completed4 ,a man is never too old to learn4 ,whilst you are a boy and lad you need to be taught2 afterwards you can to a great extent learn for yourself4 ,you should never be content to remain just where you are1 you should endeavour to make the most of your opportunities1 and to advance in knowledge and capability4 ,you are taught in your catechism to do your duty in that state of life unto which it shall please ,god to call you4 ,this does not mean that you are not to try and better your position4 ,quite the contrary2 it means that while you are to go on contentedly in the station and work which ,god has allotted to you1 you are also to try and use to the utmost all the opportunities and powers which he has given4 ,he has called you to your present position1 ,he may be calling you to something more4 ,if he has given you the power and opportunity of raising yourself1 he meant you to use them4 ,it is a false humility and a false view of religion that encourages sloth under the pretence of being contented with one's humble lot4 ,there is ,god's work--real every day work to be done in worldly as well as in what seems to be more directly spiritual work4 ,one's whole interest is not to be centred on earthly things1 neither are we to be so heavenly minded as to neglect earthly duties1 and the talents which ,god has committed to our trust4 ,it is your duty then to do your utmost to improve your stock of knowledge4 ,school has laid the foundation1 and you must work at the building4 ,your own particular tastes or your work will suggest the subjects to which you should first turn your attention4 ,develop the natural powers you have1 and advance steadily from one subject to another4 ,set apart a certain portion of your spare time for study and self-improvement4 ,remember also that you have certain duties to your neighbours and your country1 and that in order to fulfil them you must understand your position as a man and a citizen4 ,read the history both of your own country and of other lands4 ,read your paper4 ,study the questions of the day1 both at home and abroad1 and learn to form your own opinion concerning them4 ,learn to think for yourself1 and not take as gospel all that you read in your favourite paper4 ,look at both sides of a question and make up your own mind4 ,comparatively few people think for themselves1 and for that reason men are so often carried away by popular leaders1 and obstinately follow opinions1 the truth of which they have never tested1 and the consequences of which they have never considered4 ,there are many opportunities in classes and lectures for men to gain information1 but they will be of little real use unless men will think for themselves1 and work out the subjects instead of taking their opinions ready made4 ,study1 not simply listen4 ,study both secular and religious subjects4 ,you may be sure that there can be no advance in real self-improvement unless it is well balanced4 ,religious knowledge should go hand in hand with secular knowledge4 ,christ should be our great example in this as in all else1 and ,he increased in wisdom and stature1 and in favour with ,god and men4 ,,chums4 ,birds of a feather flock together4 ,a man is known by his friends4 ,it is of great importance therefore that your friends should be such as will show that you yourself are of the right sort4 ,a boy1 unless he is a particularly disagreeable one1 will probably have a fair number of friends1 that is to say1 of fellows that he knows and associates with1 but above and beyond these he will probably have some one particular chum1 one who shares in all his plans1 one with whom to talk over all his schemes1 one often with whom to join in some piece of mischief4 ,chums to do one another much good should be about the same age4 ,there may be a friendship between an elder and a younger boy1 or between a boy and a man1 but they will not be exactly chums4 ,a friendship of this sort is very useful if the elder is one who will lead aright1 but if the elder is the weaker of the two1 or still more if the elder is viciously inclined1 such an acquaintance is one of the worst possible things for a lad4 ,a young boy1 hanging on to an elder one1 learning all his bad habits1 is only too likely to prove an apt pupil1 and come utterly to grief4 ,remember no one is worthy of the name of friend who would ever counsel you to do anything wrong1 or who would not give you a word in season when he found you were going on a wrong tack4 ,a chum of one's own age is quite a different article4 ,very often they are not lads of the same dispositions and tastes1 and are drawn to one another by these very differences4 ,it not unfrequently happens that a bright active lad will chum with a very quiet meditative one4 ,the one doing the thinking and the other the acting4 ,such friendships will last on sometimes through life1 but generally well through boyhood4 ,very often the last act of chumship is the acting as best man at the friend's wedding4 ,such friendships will work great good so long as they are on the give and take principle1 and that nothing is given or taken of the bad qualities which may be in each4 ,a boy without a chum is very likely to grow either conceited or selfish1 or both4 ,a good-natured chum is a very useful check4 ,he does not mind chaffing him out of any little absurdities1 and rubbing against one another they manage to knock off many odd corners and polish up one another4 ,any chumship in evil is to be avoided4 ,if a chum1 however much he may be liked1 wants you to go in for a partnership in evil he must be given up4 ,i don't say that you can give up caring for him1 but he must be made to see clearly that he must make his choice between the evil doing and you--that he cannot be chums with both4 ,chums should have strict honour between themselves1 and always be ready to stand up for one another4 ,a good chum prevents one becoming a prig1 and there is nothing short of actual vice which is so hateful in a boy as priggishness4 ,there is as much difference between a prig and a right- minded boy as between chalk and cheese4 ,a right-minded boy goes on his way trying to do right and live honestly and purely1 because it is right and honourable1 and because deep in his own heart he knows he has promised ,jesus ,christ that he will live a godly life4 ,a prig is also doing right and living purely and honestly1 but is all the time trying to make other people see it1 and not doing it simply because it is right4 ,hence he has not half the strength when real temptation comes1 because he has always been looking at the outside effect of his life1 instead of looking inward1 to see if he is true to his promise4 ,avoid priggishness1 but do not be afraid of being called a prig when it is only the taunt by which someone hopes to shame you into doing that which you know in your heart is wrong4 ,,courtship4 ,there comes a time when a young man begins seriously to look forward to settling in life and having a home of his own4 ,as a boy he may have had his likings among the girl companions with whom he was acquainted1 but now it becomes a totally different question1 and his intercourse with young women assumes the position of courtship4 ,it is only natural and right that man should look where ,god intended him to look for a help-meet and companion1 but all depends upon the way in which he does it4 ,there is no need to be in a hurry4 ,better to wait and make quite sure4 ,as a general rule ,i should say that twenty-five was quite young enough for a man to marry1 but still that must entirely depend upon circumstances4 ,before ,i venture to suggest a few thoughts concerning courtship and the choice of a wife1 ,i should like to make a few remarks upon the manner in which women ought to be treated by men4 ,it is too much the custom for men to look upon women as beings the object of whose creation was to be pleasant companions for them before marriage and useful servants after marriage4 ,hence there is a very great want of respect and honourable treatment4 ,a young fellow1 before he steadies down as the expression is1 does not think there is anything mean or dishonourable in his leading a girl on1 and without any intention of ruining her1 allowing her to lower herself by her conversation and manners4 ,he does not consider the harm that he is doing to the girl1 how it may be the first step to ruin4 ,he means no harm1 only just amusing himself with her4 ,is it not mean1 however1 simply for his own pleasure to treat a woman as if she were merely a plaything1 instead of a being as valuable in ,god's sight as himself1 and equally with him an object of ,god's love and care4 ,no words suffice to denounce the wickedness and meanness of the coward1 who1 taking advantage of a girl's real though misguided love for him1 will seduce her into sin and then leave her to bear the punishment and disgrace4 ,no words can describe the heartless wickedness which will rob a woman of that which is her greatest treasure and ornament1 and bring upon her a sorrow which the grave alone can end4 ,he may escape punishment here4 ,he may even gain a sort of reputation as one who can always gain the attention of women1 but he will only receive the greater punishment from the judge and avenger of all4 ,one word more before ,i close these remarks1 which ,i would have gladly omitted from these papers1 but truth demands them4 ,some men seem to think that the sin and responsibility is very slight if it be committed with a woman who trades upon her sin4 ,undoubtedly it is not so cowardly as the ruin of a pure and innocent woman1 but who can tell that you may not have met with that woman at the turning point in her life1 when but for you she might have repented8 and at the very least you have added to the weight of her sin4 ,once she had been pure1 ,god alone knows her history1 but who of the many who have taken advantage of her misery and helped to chain her to her life of sin will be held guiltless by ,him8 ,great1 fearful is her guilt1 but ,god alone knows how she may long to be free4 ,far greater is their guilt who for their own selfish enjoyment do not hesitate to plunge deeper into ruin a soul for whom ,christ died4 ,if men treated all women honourably--all1 not simply their relations and friends1--there would not be those who make their living by sin4 ,such a state of things it may be hopeless to expect1 so long as cowards are to be found amongst men1 but it is not too much to expect from honourable men and ,christians that they should treat all women with such respect1 that1 as far as lies in their power1 the stigma of meanness and cowardice should not rest upon the men of this land4 ,treat them with respect1 not only in your intercourse with them1 but in your conversation about them1 and your thoughts concerning them4 ,but to turn to a pleasanter subject1 the honourable courtship of man and maiden4 ,certain things should be taken into consideration in making your choice4 ,first1 that the object of your choice should be one whom you can thoroughly love and entirely trust4 ,secondly1 that she should be one whom you feel would be a real help in life4 ,thirdly1 that she should be of the same religion as yourself 7otherwise difficulties in after life are sure to arise7 and a really religious woman4 ,and ,fourthly1 that she should be not merely1 or even necessarily1 a bright and pretty companion1 but should have such qualities as are necessary for a good wife and mother--one who can manage a home as well as help to pass an hour or so pleasantly4 ,your courtship should be thoroughly open and above-board4 ,the parents consent should first be obtained1 and remember that you are bound to respect their wishes4 ,be careful also that she shall never in any way be compromised by your conduct4 ,i say no more because ,i have assumed at the beginning that your courtship is honourable1 that you love the girl of your choice1 and that as you would shield her from all injury from others1 so she will be safe under your protection4 ,take no ordinary standard as the rule of your courtship1 but determine from the very beginning that it shall be so conducted1 that when as man and wife you look back upon it1 it may be with feelings free from any taint of sorrow or shame2 that when you stand before ,god to be married it may be as honest man and maiden1 seeking for ,god's full blessing upon your married life1 as it has rested upon your unmarried days4 ,one thing ,i would say in conclusion1 and ,i mention it last as being the most important1 let your choice of a wife be a subject of earnest prayer to ,god1 and when your choice has been made1 and your love pledged one to another1 let it be a subject of mutual prayer that each may help the other to live to the glory of ,god1 in the station of life in which he sees fit to place you4 ,,husbands4 ,the headship of a family carries with it heavy responsibilities4 ,we may shrink from them and avoid them1 but still they remain4 ,a good husband and a good father makes a happy home and honest children4 ,drunkenness is too often the destruction of home4 ,if the head of the family can rule himself in this as in other matters then he may reasonably hope for a happy and comfortable home1 but if drink is allowed to take the place of wife or children1 drink will rule the household and swallow up its peace and prosperity4 ,nevertheless1 drunkenness is not by any means the only fault or indeed the beginning of the break up of a home4 ,it is very often the result of a home made miserable by other and easily avoided faults4 ,many ,i suppose start their married life with the full intention of realising their ideas of a happy home4 ,the picture is very pleasant1 the reality is too often quite the reverse4 ,why8 ,very often because of a want of mutual forbearance4 ,it takes some little time really to know one another1 and unless there is a spirit of mutual forbearance the little differences will become great quarrels4 ,the husband is to rule1 but he is not to be a tyrant4 ,the wife is not bound to give a blind obedience to all his commands1 and the husband is bound to respect his wife's wishes4 ,it ought to be a rule that in matters of importance1 where either feels it to be a question of duty1 that if they cannot agree neither should endeavour to force the other to act against their conscience4 ,my first piece of practical advice to husbands would be to have a proper understanding about money matters1 and to be liberal therein4 ,give your wife a regular sum per week1 and let it be clearly arranged what expenses she is responsible for4 ,secondly1 do not have any friends that you cannot or do not care to bring to your home1 and let no one come between you and your wife1 or draw you away to enjoy yourself apart from her4 ,thirdly1 do your church-going together as far as you can1 and when that is impossible arrange one with the other1 so that each may be able to go at some time every ,sunday4 ,above all keep one another up to your regular ,communions1 for there is little blessing on the married union that is not blessed with a higher communion4 ,fourthly4 ,when you have children train them yourself1 specially the boys1 who will gain far more good from father than from anyone else4 ,it is too much the custom to leave all the religious training to mother or to school4 ,take your children to ,church with you instead of seeing that they are sent4 ,come is a much better word of instruction than go4 ,a few words in conclusion as to the general duties of a man1 be he married or single4 ,you have no right to shirk your duties as a man to your home1 as a ,christian to your ,church1 or as a citizen to your country4 ,the support and training of your family is your first duty1 and nothing may rightly come in the way of that1 but the fulfilling of that need not prevent your carrying out your other duties4 ,you are a ,christian1 you receive spiritual benefits from your connection with the ,church1 you are bound then to make some return4 ,your prayers1 your alms1 and your active work1 according to your means and opportunities1 ought to be available for the work of the ,church4 ,there ought not to be any drones in the ,church's hive1 but each member should bear his share of the burdens1 as well as partake of the blessings4 ,there is work for everyone that is ready to help4 ,you have still your duty to your country4 ,your own personal influence may not be great1 but you are nevertheless bound to use it on the side which you believe to be right4 ,public opinion is made up by the agreement of many1 and the course of the nation is guided eventually by the votes of the people4 ,you have your share in the responsibility of all that is done1 and are therefore bound to endeavour to understand the questions of the day1 and to act upon the conclusions you may form4 ,no man has a right to shirk any of the responsibilities of his position1 and a true man will endeavour to serve ,god and his fellow-men to the best of his ability--to do as much good as he can in the little time allotted to him1 and to leave the reward of his labours in the hands of ,him for whose sake and after whose example he has endeavoured to spend his life4