,a ,,positive ,,romance ,by ,edw>d ,bellamy #ahih ,my fri5d ,hammond is a ba*elor1 & lives 9 *amb]s 9 ,new ,york4 ,:5ev] we meet on my occasional visits to ! city1 he insi/s on my sp5d+ ! night ) him4 ,on "o ( ^! occasions we _h be5 at ! op]a dur+ ! ev5+1 & _h witness$ an ovation to a beautiful & fam\s s+]4 ,we _h be5 /irr$ by ! en?usiasm ( ! audi5ce1 & on our walk home fell to discuss+ a !me sugge/$ by ! sc5e2 namely1 ! t5d5cy ( man to assume a wor%ipful attitude t[>ds woman1 & ! reason = x4 ,0 x m]ely a phase ( ! passional relation betwe5 ! sexes1 or _h x "s deep] & m my/]i\s significance8 ,:5 ,i m5tion$ ! =m] idea1 ,hammond dem&$ :y ?is t5d5cy 0 n reciprocal betwe5 ! sexes4 ,z a matt] ( fact1 :ile wom5 %[$ endless devotion & fondness = m51 _! feel+ 0 )\t ! /ra9 ( adoration4 ,p>ticul> m5's qualities ( m9d or he>t might excite ! en?usia/ic admiration ( wom51 b su* admiration 0 = cause1 & 9 no way conf\nd$ ) ! wor%ipful rev]5ce :i* x 0 man's in/9ct to ext5d to woman z woman1 ) second>y ref]5ce to h] qualities z a p>ticul> p]son4 ,no fact 9 ! relations ( m5 & wom51 he decl>$1 0 m /rik+ ?an ?is contra/ 9 _! mutual attitudes4 ,x 0 ! fem99e1 n ! mascul9e1 ideal :i* suppli$ ! inspiration ( art & ! aroma ( lit]ature1 :i* 0 f\nd en%r9$ 9 ! cu/oms & common spee* ( mank9d4 ,to ?is ,i repli$ t man1 be+ ! dom9ant sex1 _h impos$ 8 wor%ip on ! race z a conqu]+ nation1 its gods on ! conqu]$4 ,he1 n woman1 _h be5 ! creator ( ! art1 ! lit]ature1 & ! language :i* 7 d$icat$ to h]4 ,_h woman be5 ! dom9ant sex1 ! rev]se might h happ5$1 & man be5 oblig$ to /& ^u a p$e/al & be wor%ip$4 ,hammond laugh$1 b decl>$ t ,i 0 all wrong4 ,man's t5d5cy to wor%ip woman1 :ile naturally bl5d+ ) 8 passional attraction t[>ds h]1 did n spr+ f ! in/9ct ( sex1 b f ! in/9ct ( race1--a f> deep] & g5]ally unrecogniz$ impulse4 ,ev5 ?\gh woman %\ld become "s day ! dom9ant sex1 man ne$ suff] no appreh5sion ( be+ wor%ip$4 ,8 mode/y w\ld be respect$4 ,"s "t lat]1 :5 we _h cozily e/abli%$ ourselves be=e a sea-coal fire 9 ,hammond's qu>t]s1 ) div]s creature com=ts at h& = "o ( our usual symposiums1 ! subject came up aga92 & "u conditions s favorable to discursiv5ess our talk took a wide range4 8,by ! way10 said ,i1 apropos ( "s rem>k he _h made1 8talk+ ab\t ! adoration ( woman1 did n t crack-bra9$ ,fr5*man1 ,augu/e ,comte1 propose some?+ ( ! sort z a feature ( 8 #8,religion ( ,humanity'80 ,hammond nodd$4 8,i wond]10 ,i said1 8:e!r t feature ( 8 s*eme 0 ev] actually practic$ by 8 foll[]s4 ,i %\ld l to get a *ance to ask a ,positivi/ ab\t t1 if inde$ !re are any 9 ,am]ica40 ,hammond smok$ 9 sil5ce = "s "t1 & f9ally said1 quietly1 8,possibly ,i might tell y some?+ ab\t x myself40 8,hello60 ,i exclaim$4 8,h[ long s9ce y h be5 a ,positivi/80 8,ab\t tw5ty-five ye>s10 0 ! matt]-(-fact reply4 8,a ,positivi/ ( tw5ty-five ye>s' /&+10 ,i ejaculat$1 8& nev] told ( x6 ,:y h y hid y\r light "u a bu%el all ?is :ile80 8,i said t x 0 tw5ty-five ye>s s9ce ,i _h be5 a ,positivi/10 repli$ ,hammond2 8z long1 9 fact1 z x is s9ce ,i h be5 a sophomore4 ,bo? exp]i5ces belong$ to ! same ye> ( my college c\rse1 &1 p]haps y may inf]1 to ! same /age ( intellectual developm5t4 ,= ab\t six mon?s at t "t ,i 0 z ard5t a conv]t1 ,i fancy1 z ! ,religion ( ,humanity ev] _h40 8,i ?\ght y _h told me all ab\t y\rself long ago10 ,i said4 8,h[ is x t y h kept s mum ab\t ?is exp]i5ce8 ,i %\ld fancy x mu/ h be5 a decid$ly odd "o40 8,x 0 a v odd "o10 repli$ ,hammond1--8! /range/ passage1 on ! :ole1 ,i ?9k1 9 my life4 ,i h nev] spok5 ( x1 because x is "o ( ^? emotional exp]i5ces :i* no man likes to relate unless he is sure ( be+ und]/ood4 ,to tell x to mo/ m5 w\ld be ca/+ pe>ls be=e sw9e4 ,i h always meant to tell y :5 a suitable opportunity came up40 8,y "k10 he said1 :5 ,i _h signifi$ my eag]ness to he>1 8t ,i graduat$ at ,l]oy ,college4 ,x 0 a little "o-horse in/itution1 b blue z a :et/one 9 its or?odoxy2 & ) my fa!r1 :o 0 a cl]gyman ( a v /rait sect & /aid views1 t fact cov]$ a multitude ( %ortcom+s4 ,i 0 n9ete5 :5 ,i ent]$1 & consequ5tly tw5ty :51 at ! beg9n+ ( sophomore ye>1 ,i came "u ! *>ge ( ,pr(essor ,rgni]4 ,he 0 a ,fr5*man1 b spoke ,engli% ) p]fect ease & precision & a v slight acc5t4 ,at ! "t ,i knew him1 he 0 probably sixty4 ,8 hair 0 q gray1 b 8 mu/a*e & imp]ial 7 /ill d>k4 ,x 0 rumor$ among ! /ud5ts t he _h left 8 native l& = political reasons1 hav+ play$ = too high /akes at ! national game ( revolution4 ,true or n1 ! report naturally height5$ ! int]e/ :i* 8 p]sonality _h = u4 8,he made x 8 bus9ess to "k p]sonally all ! /ud5ts 9 8 classes2 & z x is n easy = a man ( sixty1 especially if he is also _! tea*]1 to become really acqua9t$ ) /ud5ts ( tw5ty1 ! fact may be tak5 z evid5ce ( 8 unusual tact4 ,he 01 ,i ?9k1 ! mo/ fasc9at+ man ,i ev] saw4 ,8 insight into "* 0 l magic1 8 mann]s 7 *>m+1 & 8 ,gallic vivacity made him seem l a boy4 ,gradually1 :ile /ill rema9+ to ! re/ ( ! /ud5ts a g5ial & fri5dly in/ructor1 he s+l$ out a small] circle ( p>ticul> intimates4 ,( ^! ,i 0 "o1 & ,i believe ! mo/ tru/$4 8,( c\rse we boys 7 imm5sely flatt]$ by ! p>tiality ( su* a man2 b equally ( c\rse ! pursuit ( 8 own pleasure c\ld sc>cely h be5 ! motive :i* impell$ him to seek our companion%ip4 ,x 01 9 fact1 a motive z unselfi% z t ( ! mission>y :o leaves ! com=ts & ref9em5ts ( civilization & exiles himself among savages t he may w9 !m to 8 fai?4 ,he _h be5 a p]sonal fri5d & disciple ( ,augu/e ,comte1 !n b lately dead1 & on com+ to ,am]ica _h s\ght 8 pres5t employm5t1 n m]ely z a means ( livelihood1 b equally = ! opportunity x (f]$ = propagat+ ! new gospel among "y m54 ,d y "k mu* ab\t :at ,positivism is80 ,i confess$ t ,i knew next to no?+1--sc>cely m ?an t !re 0 su* a ?+4 8,i %all n bore y ) an acc\nt ( x10 resum$ ,hammond1 8fur!r ?an to say t x is a s*eme = ! p]fection ( ! human race4 ,x rejects z idle all !ories ( sup]human intellig5ces1 & decl>es ! supreme object ( ! individual love & devotion %\ld be humanity4 ,! rational demon/ration ( ! tru? ( ?is sy/em is s\ght 9 ! c\rse ( hi/ory1 :i* is claim$ to prove ,positivism ! f9ality ( social evolution4 ,y w f9d any?+ else y want to "k ab\t x 9 ! books4 ,i d>e say y w n be conv]t$2 b if y 7 n9ete5 in/ead ( twice t1 ) ,hippolyte ,rgni] to indoctr9ate y1 ,i fancy ! result w\ld be ab\t :at x 0 9 my case4 8,8 p]sonal influ5ce ov] u1 & ! intoxicat+ flatt]y impli$ 9 be+ s]i\sly reason$ ) on !mes s l(ty by a man :om we s greatly admir$1 w\ld h gone f>1 no d\bt1 to comm5d to u any =m ( op9ions he might h taught2 b !re 7 n lack+ o!r reasons to acc\nt = 8 success 9 conv]t+ u4 ,z = ,comte's dogmatic d5ial ( sup]human exi/5ce1 & 8 fanciful s*emes ( new society1 we 7 too "y & crude to realize h[ unphilosophic 0 ! =m]1 h[ impossible & undesirable 0 ! latt]4 ,:ile accept+ !m z facts ( a new cre$1 !y meant little to u1 nor did ,rgni] mu* insi/ ^u !m4 ,:at mo/ he did insi/ on 0 ! e?ical side ( ,positivism1--! idea ( ! ess5tial unity ( ! individual ) ! immortal race ( man1 & 8 obvi\s duty to =get self 9 its s]vice4 ,:at c\ld be bett] adapt$ to affect g5]\s & impassion$ boys ?an an appeal l ?is8 ,! magnific5t audacity ( x1 ! assumption ( man's ess5tial nobl5ess1 ! contemptu\s refusal to make any t]ms ) selfi%ness1 captivat$ our imag9ations4 ,i "k n[1 inde$1 t ?is en?usiasm ( humanity1 ?is passion ( self-abnegation1 :i* ,i ?\ght a new religion1 0 ! he>t ( ! old religions4 ,9 its new-fangl$ disguise ! tru? & virtue ( ! doctr9e 7 /ill op]ative1 & ! emotional crisis ?r\gh :i* ,i pass$ ,i f\nd 0 z ess5tially religi\s z x 0 9 =m unor?odox4 8,at ! end ( sophomore ye> !re 7 a half-doz5 v positive "y ,positivi/s 9 our class4 ,! pride ( intellect :i* we felt 9 our new enlight5m5t 0 intoxicat+4 ,to be able to look d[n f a s]5e height1 ) compassion frequ5tly temp]$ by contempt1 ^u ! re/ ( ! _w /ill grop+ 9 ! mi/s ( *ildi% sup]/ition1 0 prodigi\sly to ! ta/e ( y\?s ( eighte5 & tw5ty4 ,h[1 to be sure1 we did turn up our noses at ! homely tea*+s 9 ! college *apel on ,sundays6 ,well d ,i rememb] att5d+ my fa!r's *ur* :5 at home on vacation1 & endeavor+ to assume ! m5tal attitude ( a curi\s travel] 9 a ,buddhi/ temple4 ,toge!r ) ! intellectual vanity :i* x fo/]$1 our new fai? 0 comm5d$ to u by its flavor ( ! secret1 ! haz>d\s1 & ! =bidd54 ,we 7 delightfully consci\s ( be+ conc]n$ 9 a species ( conspiracy1 :i* if x came to light w\ld convulse ! college & ! community1 h u expell$1 & cause no end ( sc&al to ! public4 8,b ! m ,i took my new fai? 9 e>ne/ & tri$ to make ( x ! religion x claim$ to be1 ,i 0 tr\bl$ by a lack t seem$ to be inh]5t4 ,humanity1 ! object ( our devotion1 0 b an ab/raction1 a rhetorical expression = a mass ( individuals4 ,to ^! individuals ,i might inde$ r5d] affection1 s]vice1 compassion1 t5d]ness1 self-sacrifice2 b _! numb] & pett9ess =bade me ! gl[ ( adoration ) :i* s]vice 0 t\*$ 9 religions :i* (f]$ a p]sonifi$ object ( adoration4 ,:51 f9ally1 ,i confid$ ^! tr\bles to ,rgni]1 ,i expect$ to be rebuk$2 b on ! contr>y1 & to my great discomfiture1 he embrac$ me effusively aft] ! ,gallic mann]4 ,he said t he _h be5 wait+ = ! "t :5 9 ! c\rse ( my developm5t ,i %\ld become consci\s ( ! ne$ ,i _h confess$ be=e expla9+ to me ! provision made = x by ,positivism4 8,to />t )1 he put 91 z a sort ( special plea = ,positivism1 t x 0 n s+ul> among religions 9 recogniz+ z ! object ( devotion an ab/raction1 ! mode ( ! exi/5ce ( :i* 0 a my/]y4 ,z a solace to _! vot>ies & an aid to _! fai?1 ne>ly all religions recogniz$ sacr$ emblems2 n inde$ to be conf\nd$ 9 cle> m9ds ) ! orig9al object ( devotion1 b wor?y ( rev]5ce 9 its place1 z its special repres5tative & rem9d]4 ,9 precisely ?is s5se ! sacr$ emblem ( humanity 0 woman4 8,( c\rse1 ,positivism claim+ to be a cre$ ( demon/ration1 n ( fai?1 ,rgni] did n ask me to receive ?is proposition z 8 m]e /atem5t1 b proce$$ to e/abli% its reasonabl5ess by logic4 ,i am go+ to give y :at ,i rememb] ( 8 argum5t1 because ,i believe /ill1 z ,i did :5 ,i he>d x1 t x is ! only philosophical explanation ( ! in/9ctive rev]5ce ( man = woman :i* we h be5 talk+ ab\t to-night4 ,x 0 giv5 to me1 ( c\rse1 z a doctr9e peculi> to ,positivism2 b ,i don't "k ( any =m ( religi\s belief1 inconsi/5t ) ! recognition ( ! sacr$ quality ( womanhood on ! gr\nds giv5 by ,rgni]4 ,inde$1 ,i am by no means sure :e!r ! doctr9e z ,i receiv$ x is or?odox ,positivism at all4 ,i h reason to ?9k t ,rgni] 0 q too orig9al a "* = a v good int]pret]1 & %\ld be int]e/$ to "k h[ f> 8 ideas 7 8 own & h[ f> 8 ma/]'s4 8,fir/ he po9t$ out to me z matt] ( fact t !re 0 no m /rik+ feature ( ! mod]n & humane z comp>$ ) ! anci5t & b>b>ic _w ?an ! con/antly gr[+ t5d5cy ( ! mo/ civiliz$ races to apo!osize womanhood4 ,! virg9 ideal _h be5 set up by ! l>g] "p ( ,*ri/5dom z ! object ( div9e honors4 ,! age ( *ivalry _h translat$ = all "t ! language ( love into t ( wor%ip4 ,art _h p]sonifi$ "u ! fem99e =m e noble & affect+ ideal ( ! race1 till n[ x 0 9 ! "n ( woman t man's bett] "p adjur$ 8 bas] 9 e sort ( /rife t[>ds ! div9e4 ,is x alleg$ t x is man's passion = woman t has mov$ him ?us 9 a sort to deify ! sex8 ,passion is no tea*] ( rev]5ce4 ,moreov]1 x is z ! race outgr[s ! dom9ion ( passion t x recognizes ! wor%ipfulness ( woman4 ,! gross & s5sual recognize 9 h] no elem5t ( sacr$ness4 ,x is ! cle> s\l ( ! boy1 ! poet1 & ! se] :i* is mo/ surely aw>e ( x4 ,equally va9 is x to seek ! explanation 9 any g5]al sup]iority ( woman to man1 ei!r moral or m5tal4 ,h] qualities are inde$ 9 engag+ contra/ ) 81 b on ! :ole no su* sup]iority has ev] be5 ma9ta9$4 ,h[1 !n1 7 we to acc\nt = a ph5om5on s great 9 its proportions t ei!r x indicates a _w-wide madness infect+ ! noble/ nations :ile sp>+ ! base/1 or else mu/ be ! outcome ( "s pr(\nd monition ( nature1 :i*1 9 proportion z man's upw>d evolution progresses1 he becomes capable ( appreh5d+8 ,:y ?is impassion$ exaltation by him ( 8 t5d] companion8 ,:at is ! secret spr+ t makes h] ! ceaseless f\nta9 ( l(ty inspiration %e is to him8 ,:at is ! h9t ( div9ity 9 h] g5tle mi5 t br+s him to 8 knees8 ,:o is ?is goddess veil$ 9 woman :om m5 in/9ctively rev]5ce yet _c "n8 8,! adoration ( woman1 :i* may almo/ be call$ ! natural religion ( ! mod]n man1 spr+s f 8 recognition1 in/9ctive :5 n consci\s1 t %e is 9 an express s5se1 z he is n1 ! type1 ! repres5tative1 & ! symbol ( ! race f :i* he spr+s1 ( t immortal & my/ical life 9 :i* ! secret ( 8 own is hid4 ,%e is ?is by virtue1 n ( h] p]sonal qualities1 b ( ! "m-sex1 :i*1 ov]be>+ 9 "p h] individuality1 consecrates h] to ! int]e/s ( ! race1 & makes h] ! *annel ( ^? irresi/ible attractions by :i* humanity exi/s & m5 are made to s]ve x4 ,z comp>$ ) woman's peculi> id5tification ) ! race1 man's relation to x is an ext]ior "o4 ,by 8 con/itution he is above all an individual1 & t is ! natural l9e ( 8 developm5t4 ,! love ( woman is ! c5tripetal attraction :i* 9 due "t br+s him back f ! individual tang5t to bl5d him aga9 ) mank9d4 ,9 return+ to woman he returns to humanity4 ,all t !re is 9 man's s5tim5t = woman :i* is high] ?an passion & l>g] ?an p]sonal t5d]ness--all1 t is to say1 :i* makes 8 love = h] ! gr& passion :i* 9 noble he>ts x is--is ! fact t "u ?is =m 8 passion = ! race f9ds expression4 ,my/]i\s ties1 subt5d+ consci\sness1 b9d him1 ?\gh seem+ly sep>ate1 to ! mighty life ( humanity1 8 great] self1 & ^! are ! *ords :i*1 :5 #8,love took up ! h>p ( life1'444 #8pass$ 9 music out ( sight4' ,9 woman humanity is en%r9$ & made concrete = ! homage ( man4 ,?is is ! mighty indwell+ :i* causes h] to sugge/ some?+ m augu/ ?an h]self1 & inve/s h] ) an imp]sonal maje/y comm&+ rev]5ce4 8,y may imag9e ) :at p[] su* a doctr9e z ?is1 set =? by an en?usia/ l ,rgni]1 appeal$ to ! m9d ( an impassion$ boy ( tw5ty1 z yet pure z a girl1 b long vaguely /irr$ by ! ma/] passion ( our nature4 ,! o!r t5ets ( ! ,religion ( ,humanity _h be5 impress$ ^u me by argum5t1 b at ! m]e /atem5t ( ?is my he>t respond$1 ,o ,dea ,c]te6 8,subsequ5tly1 9 response to my que/ion+1 ,rgni] expla9$ to me h[ ! ma/] _h recomm5d$ 8 disciples to give practical effect to ! cult ( womanhood4 ,i mu/ rememb] t x 0 no?+ new & no?+ peculi> to ,positivism = m5 to adore wom5 to ! po9t ev5 ( idolatry4 ,lov]s con/antly 7 do+ x4 ,b 9 ^! cases ! wor%ip]s did n look beyond ! p]sonality ( ! idol4 ,possibly1 no d\bt1 "s dim appreh5sion ( ! true gr\nds ( woman's wor%ipfulness might m+le ) ! lov]'s s5tim5t1 b x 0 v f> f be+ ! cle> & di/9ct s5se necess>y to r$eem 8 homage f ! *>ge ( extravagance4 ,on ! o!r h&1 ! _s 9 :i* wom5 receiv$ ! homage m5 r5d]$ !m 0 usually z mi/ak5 z t 9 :i* x 0 (f]$4 ,ei!r1 on ! "o h&1 f an impulse ( p]sonal mode/y !y deprecat$ x1 or1 on ! o!r h&1 !y accept$ x z a gratification to _! p]sonal vanity4 ,9 ei!r case1 !y equally misappreh5d$ _! true & valid title to wor%ip1 :i*1 :ile p]sonal qualities might enhance or p>tially obscure x1 0 itself 9 root m ?an p]sonal1 & consi/$ 9 ! m>tyr & "m sex :i* s peculi>ly sacrific$ & consecrat$ !m to ! int]e/s ( humanity z to draw to !m ! homage & loyalty ( all m5 :o lov$ _! race4 ,x _h be5 ! c\nsel ( 8 ma/]1 ,rgni] said1 t1 :ile 8 disciples %\ld hold all wom5 9 exalt$ rev]5ce1 !y %\ld peculi>ly address ?is g5]al s5tim5t to "s p>ticul> woman1 :o1 be+ ( ! same fai?1 %\ld be able to accept x wor?ily & )\t self-exaltation1 9 ! _s 9 :i* x 0 (f]$4 8,( c\rse ! reflection 0 obvi\s t 9 ! exi/+ conditions ( ! ,positivi/ propag&a 9 ,am]ica x w\ld be impossible to f9d a woman capable ( und]/&+1 mu* less ( accept+1 su* a relation1 &1 !re=e1 t to me ! cult :i* ,i _h be5 taught mu/ rema9 entirely !oretical4 ,homage f m5 :i* did n insure to ! titillation ( ! vanity w\ld seem to wom51 z usually educat$1 equally incompreh5sible & unpr(itable4 8,x 0 9 recognition ( ?is situation t ,rgni] end$ by mak+ a proposition :i* te/ifi$1 m /rongly ?an any?+ else c\ld h done1 bo? to ! en?usiasm & s9c]ity ) :i* he himself held ! fai? he prea*$1 & to 8 confid5ce 9 my own equal s+l5ess ( he>t4 ,he _h nev] be=e spok5 ( 8 p]sonal hi/ory or home life4 ,sev]al times ,i _h sp5t ! ev5+ at 8 h\se1 b on ^! occasions ,i _h se5 only himself4 ,c]ta9 womanly belong+s1 h[ev]1 :i* ,i _h notic$1 & ! s\nd ( a piano once or twice1 _h sugge/$ t ! h\se might n be )\t a fem99e pres5ce4 ,! pr(essor n[ told me t long ago 9 ,france1 = a few %ort1 blissful ye>s1 he _h be5 ! husb& ( ! sweete/ ( wom54 ,%e _h left beh9d a daught]1 ! sole companion ( 8 life & ! apple ( 8 eye4 ,%e liv$ 9 complete seclusion1 r>ely ev5 leav+ ! h\se4 ,he did n desire h] to make acqua9tances 9 ?is c\ntry1 nor inde$ 0 %e able to speak a ^w ( any language b h] own4 ,!re 0 no "q ( my mak+ h] acqua9tance 9 ! ord9>y s5se1 or ev5 ( meet+ h] a second "t1 b if ,i desir$ to te/ify my new appreciation ( ! sacr$ quality ( womanhood1 x 0 possible t %e might cons5t to receive my homage 9 ! "n ( h] sex4 ,he c\ld n be sure :at %e w\ld say1 b he w\ld speak ) h] ab\t x4 8,! foll[+ day1 a note f him reque/+ t ,i %\ld call at 8 h\se t ev5+ intimat$ t he _h succe$$ 9 c>ry+ 8 po9t4 ,:5 ,i call$ at ! "t set1 he told me t he _h f\nd x m difficult ?an he _h anticipat$ to ga9 8 daught]'s cons5t to see me4 ,%e _h be5 v reluctant to assume ! attitude requir$ ( h]1 & only h] respect = 8 wi%es & ! good ( ! cause1 & ! assurance he _h giv5 h] ( ! entire +5u\sness ( my own motive1 _h induc$ h] f9ally to yield4 ,aft] "s talk z to ! significance ( ! int]view be=e me1 :i* ,i 0 too mu* agitat$ to compreh5d1 he bade me foll[ him4 8,z may readily be suppos$1 my fancy1 f ! mom5t ,rgni] _h sugge/$ ?is int]view1 _h be5 exce$+ly busy ) conjectures z to ! sort ( sc5e x w\ld prove1 & especially z to ! p]sonality ( h] :o 0 to be ! c5tral figure4 ,except 8 intimation t ! int]view w\ld be necess>ily )\t int]*ange ( spee* & presumably brief1 sc>cely m1 probably1 ?an a confrontation1 he _h told me no?+4 8,( c\rse1 h[ev]1 my fancies _h n fail$ to take "s =m4 ,i ?9k ,i _h a g5]al expectation ( f9d+ myself 9 ! pres5ce ( a beautiful woman1 /atuesquely %ap$ & pos$4 ,i imag9e t ,i r expect$ h] to be en?ron$ or /&+ ^u "s sort ( dais1 & ,i am sure t ,i %\ld n h be5 surpris$ _h !re be5 "s artificial arrangem5t ( lights z 9 a !atre to add effectiv5ess to ! figure4 8,i foll[$ ,rgni] ?r\gh sev]al rooms )\t rais+ my eyes4 ,pres5tly he paus$ & said1 #8,my daught]4' 8,?rill+ ) ! premonition ( a vision ( imp]i\s or melt+ lovel9ess :i* %\ld compel my homage by its m]e aspect1 ,i rais$ my eyes to f9d myself fac+ a pla9-featur$1 pla9ly dress$ "y woman1 n ill-look+ c]ta9ly1 b de/itute ( a s+le trait /rik+ en\gh to h won a second glance f me _h ,i met h] on ! /reet4 8,h] fa!r ne$ n h told me ( h] reluctance to assume ! "p 8 wi%es _h impos$ ^u h]4 ,= ! fraction ( an in/ant only1 a pair ( black eyes _h met m9e1 & !n %e _h b5t h] face z l[ z %e c\ld4 ,! d[nca/ head1 ! burn+ *eeks1 ! quick heav+ ( ! brea/1 ! p5d5t arms1 ) t5sely int]lac+ f+]s & palms turn$ d[nw>d1 all told ! /ory ( a %y & s5sitive girl submitt+ f a s5se ( duty to a pa9ful ordeal4 8,! sudd5 & complete wreck ( all my preconceptions z to h] appe>ance1 z well z ! accessories ( ! sc5e1 left me = a few mom5ts fairly daz$4 ,n only 7 my highly wr\ght expectations z to ! pres5t int]view br\ght to humiliat+ discomfiture1 b ! influ5ce ( ! disillusionm5t in/antly retroact$ ) ! effect ( mak+ ! entire noble & romantic cult :i* _h l$ up to ?is unlucky confrontation seem a m]e f>rago ( extravagant & baseless s5tim5t4 ,:at on e>? _h ,rgni] be5 ?9k+ (1 to plan delib]ately a situation calculat$ to turn a *]i%$ s5tim5t into ridicule8 ,if he _h s]i\sly ?\ght 8 daught] capable ( support+ ! rle he _h assign$ h]1 _h !re ev] be5 a l case ( p>5tal fatuity8 8,b ev5 z ,i indignantly ask$ myself ?is "q1 ,i saw a great light1 & recogniz$ t ! tr\ble 0 nei!r ) ,rgni]'s fatuity nor ) 8 daught]'s lack ( *>ms1 b ) myself1 & a mo/ unwor?y misconception into :i* ,i _h fall5 z to ! :ole object & purport ( ?is int]view4 ,:at _h ! beauty or ! lack ( beauty ( ?is girl to d ) ! pres5t occasion8 ,i 0 n "h to r5d] homage to h] = ! beauty ( h] sex1 b = its p]petual consecration & ev]la/+ m>tyrdom to my race4 ,! revulsion ( feel+ :i* foll[$ ! recognition ( ! grossness ( ! mi/ake ,i _h made _h no d\bt ! effect ( greatly int5sify+ my emotions4 ,i 0 ov]come ) contrition = ! unwor?9ess ) :i* ,i _h /ood be=e ?is girl :o _h s tru/$ to my magnanimity1 apprais+ h] l a s5suali/ :5 ,i %\ld h be5 on my knees be=e h]4 ,a reaction ( compuncti\s loyalty made my v he>t/r+s a*e4 ,i saw n[ h[ well x _h be5 = a weak-m9d$ fool l myself t %e _h n *anc$ to be beautiful or ev5 pretty1 = !n ,i %\ld h *eat$ myself ( all t di/+ui%$ ?is solemn meet+ f ! m]e/ lov]'s antics4 ,i won 9 t mom5t an impression ( ! tawdr9ess ( m]e beauty :i* ,i h nev] gott5 ov]4 ,x seem$ to me !n1 & m or less has ev] s9ce1 t ! beauty ( wom5 is a sort ( veil :i* hides f sup]ficial eyes ! true adorabl5ess ( womanhood4 8,unable long] to resi/ ! magnetism ( my gaze1 h] eyes rose sl[ly to m9e4 ,at _! fir/ meet+1 h] face became crimson2 b z %e did n av]t h] eyes1 & cont9u$ to look into m9e1 ! flu% pal$ swiftly f h] face1 & ) x all ! o!r evid5ces ( h] emb>rassm5t pass$ z quickly away1 leav+ h] be>+ :olly *ang$4 ,x 0 pla9 t ?r\gh my eyes1 :i* 9 t mom5t mu/ h be5 truly w9d[s ( my s\l1 %e _h read my inmo/ ?\ghts1 & _h p]ceiv$ h[ altoge!r imp]t95t to _! quality self-consci\sness on h] "p w\ld be4 ,z ) a gaze gr[+ ev] m s]5e & /eadfa/ %e cont9u$ to read my ?\ghts1 h] face *ang$1 & f ! look ( a %y & timid maid5 x gradually took on t ( a consci\s goddess4 ,!n1 z /ill %e read on1 !re came ano!r *ange4 ,! s(t black eyes grew s(t] & yet s(t]1 & !n sl[ly fill$ ) te>s till !y 7 l brimm+ vases4 ,%e did n smile1 b h] br[s & lips assum$ a look ( b5ignant sweetness indescribable4 8,9 t mom5t no sup]natural aureole w\ld h add$ sacr$ness to t head1 or my? ( heav5ly orig9 h made t figure seem m adorable4 ,) "r good-w ,i sank ^u my knees4 ,%e rea*$ =? h] h& to me & ,i press$ my lips to x4 ,i lift$ up ! hem ( h] dress & kiss$ x4 ,!re 0 a ru/le ( g>m5ts4 ,i look$ up & %e 0 gone4 8,i suppose imm$iately aft] t ,i mu/ h left ! h\se4 ,i only "k t ! dawn f\nd me miles out ( t[n1 walk+ aimlessly ab\t & talk+ to myself40 ,hammond p\r$ himself a glass ( w9e1 drunk x sl[ly1 & !n fell into a pr(\nd rev]ie1 app>5tly =getful ( my pres5ce4 8,is t all80 ,i ask$ at la/4 8,did y n see h] aga980 8,no10 he answ]$1 8,i nev] saw h] aga94 ,probably1 z h] fa!r _h intimat$1 he did n int5d t ,i %\ld4 ,b circum/ances also prev5t$4 ,! v next day !re 0 an explosion 9 college4 ,!re _h be5 a ,judas among my fell[-disciples1 & ! faculty _h be5 in=m$ ( ! ,positivi/ propag&a go+ on "u _! noses4 ,i 0 susp5d$ = six mon?s4 ,:5 ,i return$ to college1 ,rgni] _h disappe>$4 ,he _h ( c\rse be5 promptly dismiss$1 & x 0 rumor$ t he _h gone back to ,france4 ,he _h left no trace1 & ,i nev] he>d ( him aga9 or ( 8 daught]4 ,i don't ev5 "k ! "n ( ! woman ,i wor%ip$40