,,! ,good ,h\sekeep+ ,,m>riage ,,book ,,! ,,contributors ,erne/ ,r4 ,groves ,james ,l4 ,mc,conaughy ,ellswor? ,hunt+ton ,eleanor ,roosevelt ,gladys ,hoagl& ,groves ,elizabe? ,buss+ ,jessie ,m>%all ,hornell ,h>t ,frances ,bruce ,/ra9 ,william ,lyon ,phelps ,/anley ,g4 ,dick9son ,,! ,good ,h\sekeep+ ,,m>riage ,,book#g ,twelve ,/eps to a ,happy ,m>riage ,,edit$ ,,by ,william ,f4 ,bigel[ ,,=m] ,,editor ,good ,h\sekeep+ ,,magaz9e ,,=eword by ,hel5 ,judy ,bond ,,g>d5 ,,city ,,publi%+ ,,co41 ,,inc4 ,g>d5 ,city1 ,new ,york ,g>d5 ,city ,publi%+ ,co4 ,,repr9t ,,edition1 #aidi1 by special arrangem5t ) ,pr5tice-,hall1 ,inc4 ,copyright1 #aich1 by ,,pr5tice-,,hall1 ,,inc4 ,,all ,,rights ,,res]v$4 ,,no ,,"p ,,( ,,?is ,,book ,,may ,,be ,,reproduc$ ,,9 ,,any ,,=m1 ,,by ,,mimeograph ,,or ,,any ,,o!r ,,means1 ,,)\t ,,p]mission ,,9 ,,writ+ ,,f ,,! ,,publi%]s4 ,,pr9t$ ,,9 ,,! ,,unit$ ,,/ates ,,( ,,am]ica ,william ,f4 ,bigel[ ,introduction ,! articles t are pr9t$ 9 ?is book made :at 0 9 my op9ion ! mo/ important1 ! mo/ con/ructive1 s]ies on a s+le subject t ,good ,h\sekeep+ has publi%$ 9 ! qu>t] c5tury & m t ,i 0 its editor4 ,& !y might s easily nev] h be5 writt5--j a little item 9 a newspap] miss$1 or its significance ov]look$1 & ^! s9c]e & helpful articles w\ld /ill be lock$ up 9 ! m9ds & he>ts ( ! m5 & wom5 :o wrote !m4 ,= x all happ5$ j l t4 ,/ud5ts 9 "o ( ! l>g] ,cali=nia univ]sities ask$ t a c\rse 9 m>riage relations be giv5--& a ,new ,york newspap] h]ald$ x ) a /ick ( type ov] ab\t page #aj4 ,someh[ ! item impress$ me deeply4 ,"h 7 ?\s&s ( /ud5ts ( bo? sexes1 ?9k+ ( m>riage1 physically impell$ t[>d m>riage1 admitt+ t !y want$ m in=mation ab\t m>riage be=e und]tak+ x4 ,add to ^! /ud5ts ! hundr$s ( ?\s&s 9 o!r colleges & to !m ! millions ( "y m5 & "y wom5 outside ( college--& !re 0 ,y\? itself1 vision+ m>riage z ! ,great ,adv5ture1 :i* no "o %\ld miss1 b ab\t :i* !re 7 grave reports4 ,i h he>d lots ab\t ,y\? 9 rec5t ye>s--its lackadaisical attitude t[>d all s]i\s ?+s1 its t5d5cy to look ! moral code /raight 9 ! eye & sma% x1 its belief t *a/ity isn't wor? its co/ or success 9 m>riage wor? work+ =4 ,& ,i _h disbeliev$ mu* t ,i _h he>d1 x hav+ be5 my privilege to "w ) & = "y p 9 high s*ool & college ov] a long p]iod ( ye>s4 ,i knew t ,y\? is look+ = some?+ bett] ?an x is be+ giv5 9 ei!r precept or example4 ,& s ?is reque/ ( a gr\p ( college "y p seem$ to me to be bo? a *all5ge & an opportunity4 ,i accept$ ! *all5ge4 ,! next /ep 0 to f9d out h[ be/ to meet x4 ,x seem$ to me t to (f] our "y p any?+ less ?an ! be/ t ,i c\ld get w\ld be lett+ !m d[n4 ,s ,i turn$ = advice to sev]al college m5 :o _h made a long /udy ( ! problems involv$ 9 m>riage1 & f ! v>i\s li/s ( subjects & au?ors sugge/$--add+ a few ( my own--select$ ! gr\p n[ pres5t$ 9 p]man5t =m 9 ?is book4 ,if ^! articles make success 9 m>riage seem some?+ t mu/ con/antly be work$ =1 !y at ! same "t %[ t success1 plus ! happ9ess t goes ) x1 c be a*iev$4 ,:i* is all1 ,i ?9k1 t any man or woman has a "r to ask =4 ,,william ,f4 ,,bigel[ ,hel5 ,judy ,bond ,=eword ,if by "s /range *ance1 n a ve/ige ( u desc5d$ to ! remote future save a pile ( our s*oolbooks or "s exam9ation pap]s1 we may imag9e h[ puzzl$ an antiqu>ian ( ! p]iod w\ld be on f9d+ 9 !m no indication t ! le>n]s 7 ev] likely to be p>5ts4 ,?is mu/ h be5 ! curriculum = _! celibates1 we may fancy him conclud+4 ,i p]ceive "h an elaborate prep>ation = _m ?+s2 especially = read+ ! books ( ext9ct nations & ( coexi/+ nations 7f :i*1 inde$1 x seems cle> t ^! p _h v little wor? read+ 9 _! own tongue72 b ,i f9d no ref]5ce :atev] to ! br++ up ( *ildr54 ,!y c\ld n h be5 s absurd z to omit all tra9+ = ?is grave/ ( responsibilities4 ,evid5tly1 !n1 ?is 0 ! s*ool c\rse ( "o ( _! mona/ic ord]s4 ,,h]b]t ,,sp5c] ,?is quotation f ! p5 ( ,h]b]t ,sp5c] arre/$ our att5tion ?is w9t] :5 we 7 read+ a numb] ( books deal+ ) v>i\s epo*-mak+ p]iods 9 ! developm5t ( educational me?od & !ory4 ,we clos$ ! book & pond]$ ov] ! inf]5ces made by ?is lead] & we began to speculate on :at an antiqu>ian ( ! pres5t p]iod might say ( our textbooks1 our curricula1 & our exam9ation pap]s4 ,we hope 9 8 se>* t x might be 8 good =tune to une>? ! syllabi ( "s ( our c\rses on ,education = ,m>riage & ,family ,life1 "s ( ! wor?:ile lit]ature :i* is be+ writt5 on ! subject1 ev5 p]haps ! ,good ,h\sekeep+ ,m>riage ,book4 ,if ^! happ5$ to be ! only rema9+ record ( ! p]iod1 we might fancy him conclud+1 ,ah1 :at an enlight5$ p !re mu/ h be5 9 ! tw5tie? c5tury4 ,i p]ceive "h prep>ation = real life problems4 ,?is mu/ h be5 a s*ool c\rse = all ! ,y\? ( t g5]ation4 ,?is volume repres5ts a def9ite /ep 9 ! advancem5t ( ?is ideal4 ,we wi% to express to ,dr4 ,william ,f4 ,bigel[1 =m] ,editor ( ,good ,h\sekeep+1 our s9c]e appreciation = ! k9dly way 9 :i* he receiv$ ! idea ( publi%+ ^! valuable articles 9 p]man5t =m & 8 read9ess to help 9 e way possible 9 c>ry+ ?is idea ?r\gh to completion4 ,to ea* au?or we wi% to express our gratitude = ! important contribution he has made1 n only 9 giv+ new int]pretation & new mean+ to ! in/itution ( m>riage1 b also = r5d]+ valuable assi/ance 9 ! solution ( _m ( ! problems :i* confront ! ,y\? ( today z !y approa* ?is mo/ *all5g+1 mo/ dem&+1 mo/ satisfy+ & mo/ rew>d+ ( ,life's exp]i5ces4 ,h4 ,j4 ,b4 ,table ( ,cont5ts ,,*apt] ,,page ,introduction--,dr4 ,william ,f4 ,bigel[ v ,=eword--,hel5 ,judy ,bond vii ,i4 ,:5 ,he ,comes ,a-,c\rt+--,dr4 ,erne/ ,r4 ,groves #a ,,ii4 ,n[ ,t ,y ,are ,engag$--,dr4 ,james ,l4 ,mc,conaughy #ac ,,iii4 ,ought ,i to ,m>ry8--,dr4 ,ellswor? ,hunt+ton #bg ,,iv4 ,%\ld ,wives ,"w8--,eleanor ,roosevelt #dc ,v4 ,le>n+ to ,live ,toge!r--,gladys ,hoagl& ,groves #ed ,,vi4 ,m>riage ,makes ! ,money ,g--,elizabe? ,buss+ #ff ,,vii4 ,*ildr58 ,( ,c\rse6--,jessie ,m>%all1 ,m4 ,d #hj ,,viii4 ,det\r ,ar\nd ,r5o--,dr4 ,hornell ,h>t #ig ,,ix4 ,sex ,in/ruction 9 ! ,home--,frances ,bruce ,/ra9 #aaa ,x4 ,religion 9 ! ,home--,william ,lyon ,phelps #abf ,,xi4 ,x ,pays to be ,happily ,m>ri$--,/anley ,g4 ,dick9son #adj ,,xii4 ,! ,case = ,monogamy--,dr4 ,erne/ ,r4 ,groves & ,gladys ,h4 ,groves #aed ,dr4 ,erne/ ,r4 ,groves ,,*apt] ,,"o ,:5 ,he ,comes ,a-,c\rt+ ,nev] 7 ,am]ican "y p m consci\s ( ! *all5ge ( m>riage4 ,!y are n will+ to accept ! idea !y h (t5 he>d express$ by _! eld]s t m>riage is a lott]y4 ,nei!r d !y believe t :5 !y m>ry1 !y are giv5 a blank *eck :i* p]mits !m to draw f ! bank ( happ9ess z !y please4 ,in/ead1 ev5 ?\gh !y d n "k h[ to g ab\t x1 !y feel m & m t !re is some?+ !y ne$ to d to give !mselves a fair *ance ( a*iev+ success4 ,a m]e acquiesc5t wait+ = ,fate to come & lead !m into p>adise is contr>y to _! _s4 ,!y seek z be/ !y "k h[ "s way ( f9d+ _! prop] mate & "s means ( becom+ equal to ! te/+ t ev5 ! mo/ reckless ( !m 9 _! bett] mom5ts realize t m>riage is sure to br+4 ,?is fact-fac+ ( ! m>riage problem %[s1 m fully ?an any?+ else c\ld1 h[ mu* our y\? today are expect+ f m>riage4 ,ev5 ^? m>riages t pet] out & s9k to a b>r5 drabness />t$ out ) high hopes1 &1 al?\gh ! victims may n "k :at br\ght ab\t _! mi%ap1 !y g5]ally feel !re 0 blund]+ some:]e & t ?is ne$ n h happ5$4 ,"s "y p gr[ cynical because !y are s famili> ) matrimonial failures2 b mo/ ( !m1 ev5 :5 !y h notic$ t _m ( _! fri5ds are unhappily m>ri$1 become m det]m9$ to f9d1 if !y c1 ! secret ( success4 ,?is leads !m to ask = help1 = insight1 & to become fact-seek+ ) a frankness t seems to be _! mo/ m>k$ *>act]i/ic4 ,!y h n be5 l$ into ?is attitude by any influ5ce f _! eld]s2 !y h acquir$ x f _! own reali/ic approa* to ! m>riage problem1 :i* !y cle>ly see has m emotional mean+ ?an any?+ else t is likely to come to !m ?r\gh *oice dur+ _! lifetime4 ,?is reque/ = help by "y p 9 c\rt%ip1 9 engagem5t1 9 _! fir/ ye>s ( m>riage1 & :5 !y plan to assume p>5?ood1 _c be met m]ely by words ( caution4 ,!y d n welcome j be+ told :at !y %\ld n d4 ,:at !y seek is positive assi/ance4 ,!y d n want advice1 b !y want in=mation & insight4 ,!y h become conv9c$ t !re are facts ab\t m>riage t p h le>n$ ?r\gh exp]i5ce1 especially ?r\gh ! se>*+ ( ! sci5ti/s1 & !y ask t !y be giv5 ! advantage ( ?is k4 ,^! "y m5 & wom5 d n take k9dly to a m>riage program :i* m]ely li/s ! qualities t "o ought to f9d 9 "o's mate4 ,ev5 f a v little c\rt%ip exp]i5ce !y come to realize t "o does n desire to m>ry ab/ract virtues1 h[ev] desirable1 b a fle%-&-blood p]son :om "o desp]ately wants4 ,:at !y seek is a guidance :i* w keep !m f want+ ! k9d ( p]son !y %\ld n m>ry4 ,!y expect to fall 9 love1 b hope to escape immature1 untru/wor?y emotions4 ,!y want to make a gr[n-up *oice or at lea/ to pick a mate 9 ^: fell[%ip !y c develop ! "* !y "k !y ne$ to a*ieve happ9ess4 ,fir/ ( all !y ask = in=mation t w help !m make good use ( _! c\rt%ip opportunity4 ,!y rightly feel t if !y blund] 9 ?is p]iod1 !re is little hope ( _! mak+ _! goal lat]4 ,!y h gr[n suspici\s ( a /rong feel+ ( atta*m5t1 because !y h be5 =c$ to see 9 ! exp]i5ces ( _m ( _! fri5ds t ?is has n gu>ante$ lat] happ9ess4 ,!y expect to h soon] or lat] an ov]:elm+ impulse to jo9 _! life to t ( ano!r human be+1 & !y ask3 ,h[ c ,i protect myself f giv+ my affection to ! wrong p]son8 ,h[ c ,i le>n :5 x is safe to tru/ my own /rong emotions8 ,i "k ,i %all be j z o!rs are1 unable to hold back1 bl9d to ! o!r's faults1 b surely be=e ?is happ5s ,i c d some?+ t w keep me f gr[+ fond ( a p]son :om ,i ought n to m>ry6 ,p :o /udy m>riage & become famili> ) its emotional dem&s mu/ h le>n$ "s facts t (f] guidance 9 *oos+ a life mate4 ,inde$1 !re are su*1 & "h are "s t prove useful dur+ c\rt%ip1 ! de/9y-decid+ p]iod 9 mo/ p's matrimonial c>e]3 #a4 ,don't let y\rself fall 9 love ) ! fir/ p]son :o comes along2 meet z _m "y p ( ! opposite sex z y c4 ,! "y man or "y woman %\ld seek to "k z _m agreeable1 companionable p]sons ( ! opposite sex z possible )\t ! /ra9 ( attempt+ to e/abli% a reputation = popul>ity4 ,^! acqua9tances1 z mu* z possible1 %\ld h a backgr\nd ess5tially simil> to "o's own1 & !y %\ld be s\ght z fri5ds r ?an z lov]s4 ,x is obvi\s t "o's affection mu/ turn to "s "o :om "o kn[s1 & be=e ! awak5+ ( /rong feel+ !re %\ld be z wide an exp]i5ce--! man ) wom51 & ! woman ) m5--z possible4 ,he or %e :o fails to g ab\t ) "y p1 z opportunity comes1 loses ! only way !re is to ga9 ! k t is necess>y lat] to make a wise *oice ( husb& or wife4 #b4 ,don't judge by p>ty mann]s & dress2 ev]yday life is diff]5t4 ,9 ?is association ) memb]s ( ! opposite sex1 ! "y man or woman %\ld seek to "k1 9 z _m & z ev]yday situations z possible1 ^? :o prove attractive4 ,! p>ty & ! dance ne$ n be neglect$4 ,anyone :o proves int]e/+ at su* occasions mu/1 h[ev]1 also be kn[n 9 o!r m usual & commonplace circum/ances4 ,! m]e be+ ) memb]s ( ! opposite sex w n 9 itself br+ insight4 ,"o mu/ le>n to obs]ve ! reactions1 ! attitudes1 ! emotional *>act]i/ics ( anyone :om "o likes4 ,ef=t mu/ be made to explore ! o!r's p]sonality1 n 9 a cold-blood$1 analytical way1 b naturally & yet ) op5 eyes1 s t !re may be g5u9e und]/&+ ( ! *>act]i/ics ( ^? :o seem to be good c&idates = matrimony4 #c4 ,/udy y\r own emotional reactions z y g along2 y\r mate %\ld br+ out ! be/ t is 9 y4 ,?is association %\ld also help ! "y man or woman to become bett] acqua9t$ ) himself or h]self4 ,m>riage happ9ess _c be a*iev$ m]ely by ask+ t ! o!r give4 ,!re mu/ also be "o's own (f]+ 9 ! fell[%ip4 ,no?+ helps cle> up "o's own motives1 desires1 & pref]5ces s mu* z contact ) o!rs4 ,we f9d ourselves lik+ "s p bett] ?an o!rs4 ,we le>n to und]/& ourselves ?r\gh our own *oices4 ,?is tea*es u t self-acqua9tance :i* measurably helps 9 *oos+ ! "r mate4 ,x is p>ticul>ly important t we see ! effect t o!rs h ^u u4 ,:at we ourselves possess we are mo/ apt to draw out f o!rs4 ,! k9d ( mate we ne$ = happ9ess is "o :o /irs up ! be/ 9 u1 & n m]ely ! mo/ ent]ta9+ or ! mo/ physically /imulat+ ( our acqua9tances4 ,matrimony is n a %ort1 hil>i\s excursion1 b a s]i\s lifetime und]tak+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,ano!r ?+ we want to le>n be=e we *oose our mate is ! we>+ "* ( any c\rt%ip c&idate4 #d4 ,does he1 or %e1 we> well8 ,if y are bor$ n[1 ?9k ( :at y may h to endure lat]4 ,we>+ qualities are n s easy to f9d out z "s o!r ?+s2 b1 if we are al]t1 we c notice :e!r a fri5d :o has attract$ u holds 8 own z we g ab\t ) him or !re is a t5d5cy on our "p t[>d a lett+ d[n ( int]e/4 ,_m ( ^? :o lose matrimonial ze/ & m]ely h a tol]able relation%ip 9 m>riage blund] at ?is po9t4 ,usually !y h n ?\ght ( ! ne$ ( f9d+ out dur+ c\rt%ip :e!r ! fri5d%ip t />t$ ) promise keeps its pace2 !y h be5 unconsci\s ( ! drift t[>d a less mean+ful relation%ip1 or h assum$ t t 0 an inevitable result ( be+ toge!r con/antly4 ,x is true t ! emotions d some:at settle !mselves1 b !y d n become weak] because !y are m /able & less viol5t 9 expression4 ,mu* association ) ! "r sort ( p]son 9 c\rt%ip %\ld increase r ?an decrease ! emotional ties t hold ! two "y p toge!r4 #e4 ,w he1 or %e1 gr[ ) y--9 m9d & 9 "*8 ,if n1 y\r own gr[? w make y unhappy4 ,ano!r ( ! m difficult tasks t mu/ be assum$ 9 a wise c\rt%ip program is discov]+ :e!r !re are 9 ! p]son "o is beg9n+ to l inc5tives t[>d gr[?4 ,!re is "o c]ta9 ?+ 9 any m>riage3 x is impossible = ^? :o ent] su* an alliance to rema9 /ation>y2 ei!r !y gr[ 9 "* or !y lose gr\nd4 ,! m]e possession ( ambition is n evid5ce ( ! desire to gr[ up emotionally4 ,"o has to probe ! ideals ( ! o!r p]son4 ,! "q is1 ,does he or %e h ! "*-vitality to develop emotional maturity8 ,if ?is is lack+1 successful m>riage is seldom a*iev$1 & = "o :o has ga9$ ?is trait to be ti$ to a sp\se :o _c atta9 x is tragic = ! well-matur$ p]son4 #f4 ,w he1 or %e1 put fa!r or "m ahead ( wife or husb&8 ,look out = apron /r+s4 ,!re is some?+ t ! psy*iatri/ w>ns u ab\t t we _c wisely =get 9 our c\rt%ips4 ,we mu/ free ourselves f entanglem5ts 9 our emotional make-up t may h _h _! beg9n+ 9 *ildhood1 & we mu/ especially avoid m>ry+ anyone :o has su* liabilities & makes no ef=t to be rid ( !m4 ,an example is fa!r fixation or "m fixation4 ,we all "k f exp]i5ce p]sons :o _c gr[ up f _! *ildhood dep5d5cy1 & !y make v try+ husb&s or wives4 ,!y are easily spott$ if "o is only ke5 9 notic+ :at takes place1 because !y are con/antly %[+ _! *ildi%ness1 & we c be sure t !y w cont9ue bo? to reveal & to nurse _! weakness ?r\gh\t life 9 su* a way z to be disc\rag+ & irritat+ 9 m>riage & p>5?ood relation%ips4 #g4 ,c he1 or %e1 take x8 ,y "k :at !y call x 9 ! army4 ,al?\gh !re are _m virtues t "o w\ld l to f9d 9 any c&idate = matrimony1 !re is "o t we mu/ look = s]i\sly2 if x is abs5t1 turn away f an alliance t is almo/ c]ta9 to fail4 ,t is pluck4 ,m>riage1 l life itself1 puts ^u p]sons dem&s t c be met only by c\rage4 ,! fair-wea!r type ( p]son is c]ta9 to be disappo9t+ 9 ! critical1 "*-reveal+ exp]i5ces t are b\nd to arise 9 m>riage & 9 p>5?ood4 ,x is difficult n to gr[ bitt] if "o f9ds himself or h]self m>ri$ to a mate :o does n h ! pluck to meet ! disappo9tm5ts1 ! h>d%ips1 ! te/+ ( ideals1 t mu/ appe> 9 e husb&-wife relation%ip4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x w\ld be mu* easi] = "y p1 we (t5 ?9k1 if c\rt%ip did n make its />t at ! same "t t ! "y man or woman is feel+ 9 full =ce ! body *anges1 ! n]v\s readju/m5ts1 & ! impulses to escape *ildhood dep5d5cy t come ) pub]ty4 ,! fact is1 h[ev]1 t our type ( c\rt%ip l>gely results f us+ ! en]gy ( ?is adolesc5t upheaval4 ,!re is a r$irect+ ( ! =ces t m>k ! awak5+ ( pub]ty & !n />t fl[+ ?r\gh ! entire p]sonality4 ,c\rt%ip becomes a sublimation1 z ! sci5ti/ says1 a re%ap+ ( ?is en]gy s t lat] !re may be a high]1 m mature satisfaction ( ! desires t foll[ along ) ?is influx ( new vitality1 ?is /range1 unexpect$ int]e/ 9 memb]s ( ! o!r sex4 ,und\bt$ly mod]n y\? face 9 ?is exp]i5ce a great] ordeal ?an did _! p>5ts4 ,?is comes ab\t f *anges 9 our way ( liv+ & ! effect !y h _h ^u m>riage1 p>ticul>ly ^u our expectations :5 we ent] matrimony4 ,9 times pa/ ! economic advantages ( be+ m>ri$ 7 s great &1 z a rule1 ! /ruggle ( life 0 s h>d1 t !re 0 no opportunity to ov]load m>riage ) expectations & make its successes & its failures s exclusively ! satisfy+ or d5y+ ( emotions4 ,( c\rse our t5d5cy is to ask too mu* ( m>riage4 ,we dem& t x fulfill e purpose ( ! he>t2 ?us "s disappo9tm5t1 once "o ent]s ^u ! c>e] ( m>riage1 is inescapable4 ,! "y man & woman :o h ent]$ m>riage expect to grasp mu* too soon ! happ9ess :i* _! emotions dem&4 ,! imag9ation has su* a free range :ile romance runs at full tide t x w\ld be /range inde$ if ! imag9ation did n g f> beyond ! possibilities ( any human relation%ip4 ,?is readju/m5t ( expectation is :at we mean by matrimonial maturity4 ,! "y p]son :o refuses to play ! game ( m>riage1 j z soon z x appe>s t complete fulfillm5t ( y\?ful wi%es is n to be _h1 _c gr[ up & nev] comes to see t ! great] satisfactions mu/ come out ( self-discipl9e1 emotional re/ra9t1 & a love ( response t does n ask :at is beyond human a*ievem5t4 ,n ?r\gh a br++ to life ( 8 rosy dreams ( cont5tm5t1 b 9 a fell[%ip t deep5s ?r\gh ! matur+ ( emotional life1 mu/ "o f9d ! values ( ei!r m>riage or family life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,al?\gh ! wise use ( c\rt%ip is ! mo/ important prep>ation = m>riage happ9ess1 x is n ! only way we cl>ify & mature ! emotions 9 our ef=ts to be happily m>ri$4 ,engagem5t br+s its peculi> *all5ge1 & aga9 dem&s are made t surge ) emotions & ne$ to be dealt ) consci\sly & practically4 ,"o ( ^! has to d ) sex1 & 9 a v def9ite way4 ,! mod]n "y man & woman are famili> ) ! fact t :olesome m>riage requires good m>ital adju/m5t4 ,!y ?9k ( ?is z ! sex side ( m>riage4 ,9 rec5t ye>s !y h he>d mu* conc]n+ ! ne$ ( adequate sex te*nique 9 m>riage4 ,n only d !y wi% in=mation t w prep>e !m to h&le ?is problem1 b (t5 !y also ne$ to get rid ( _! worry t !y may fail 9 ?is relation%ip4 ,?is anxiety is m common ?an "o might expect1 bo? 9 m5 & 9 wom54 ,ev5 ^? :o are exce$+ly sophi/icat$ frequ5tly h su* fe>s4 ,!y wond] if !y h 9 "s way made _! adju/m5t difficult4 ,! la/ days ( engagem5t frequ5tly /ir up feel+s ( d\bt4 ,^!1 born ( ! ?\ght ( ! s]i\sness ( ! m>riage ne> at h&1 easily become alli$ ) ! anxi\s ?\ghts reg>d+ sex adju/m5t 9 m>riage4 ,!re is e reason = giv+ "y p at ?is "t ! in=mation !y ne$ to ent] m>riage z easily & satisfactorily z possible4 ,to give !m a fair />t we also h to take away ! n]v\s dread t may become _! *ief difficulty4 ,?is mu/ be done n by attempt+ to extract ! emotion z we pull a too? b by de/roy+ ! fe> by build+ up its opposite1 security4 ,?is is ! way we always get rid ( haz>d\s emotions3 we de/roy !m z we alkalize acids4 ,! reason :y s mu* is made ( sex te*nique z a prep>ation = m>riage is p>tly t 9 ! pa/ we h utt]ly neglect$ ?is side ( m>riage & also t x is ! easie/ problem to h&le4 ,ne$$ in=mation c be cle>ly & def9itely giv51 & !re are a numb] ( excell5t books1 widely read1 t provide ?is prep>ation = "y p ab\t to be m>ri$4 ,su* lit]ature ne$s to be read calmly s z to avoid exagg]ation & n 9 ! _s ( panic t sometimes leaves "y p worse (f r ?an bett] prep>$ = _! m>riage relation%ips4 ,s9ce sex is s highly emotional & its difficulties z !y appe> 9 m>riage are almo/ always psy*ic 9 "*--t is1 born ( bra9 exp]i5ce z a result ( e>li] sugge/ions & happ5+s--x is =tunate t we h some?+ besides a book to (f] "y p t !y may be sure !y are well prep>$ to deal ) ! sex side ( m>riage4 ,doctors h develop$ a c\nsel+ s]vice design$ to give "y m5 & "y wom5 be=e !y m>ry ! assurance t !y ne$4 ,?is is ! prem>ital exam9ation s popul> among college p ab\t to be m>ri$ & becom+ m & m a "p ( _! r\t9e ( matrimonial prep>ation4 ,! "y man & "y woman1 & especially ! latt]1 ei!r toge!r or sep>ately g to a physician :o is int]e/$ 9 pres5t+ ! sex problems ( m>riage & is famili> ) ! te*nique ( ! prem>ital exam9ation & c give "y p a cle> und]/&+ ( ! mean+ ( m>ital adju/m5t4 ,?is exam9ation includes f9d+ out :e!r !re are any /ructural or n]v\s ob/acles to m>ital happ9ess1 ! giv+ ( specific in=mation reg>d+ any worry1 d\bt1 or ignorance felt by ! p]son be+ exam9$1 ! giv+ ( c\nsel t w help make successful adju/m5t easi] to a*ieve1 &1 if ?is is reque/$1 ! giv+ ( s\nd bir?-control in/ruction4 ,! prem>riage exam9ation does s mu* to less5 ! t5sion be=e m>riage & to prev5t tempor>y disc\ragem5ts or ungr\nd$ fe>s aft] m>riage t x is no wond] t x has be5 accept$ rapidly by "y p :o h come to "k its value4 ,soon x w become a commonplace prep>$ness s\ght by all ?\ghtful1 s9c]e "y p :o are ab\t to m>ry4 ,x is be/ obta9$ at lea/ two weeks be=e ! w$d+4 ,s9ce !re are sometimes mild physical conditions t ne$ treatm5t & t c be cle>$ up if !re is suffici5t "t1 _m doctors pref] t ! exam9ation be made at lea/ a mon? be=e ! m>riage4 ,x is true t n e physician is prep>$ to give ?is assi/ance1 b ! numb] ( ^? :o c is rapidly gr[+ z doctors become consci\s ( _! responsibility = ?is new type ( prep>ation = m>riage4 99 99 99 99 99 ,g5]ally a mo/ useful "p ( ?is s]vice is ! opportunity x gives ! doctor & ! pati5t to talk toge!r frankly & cle>ly ab\t sex adju/m5t s z to take away ! emotional h&icaps t are ! *ief cause ( maladju/m5t4 ,^! difficulties1 :5 !y are deeply root$1 & especially :5 !y are unrecogniz$1 play havoc 9 m>ital adju/m5t4 ,mo/ (t5 !y are ! result ( "s sort ( sugge/ion or happ5+ f> back 9 ! e>lie/ days ( *ildhood t l$ to fe>1 %ame1 or guilt1 ! ?ree *ief enemies ( happy sex life 9 m>riage4 ,! m]e opportunity to talk ov] any?+ relat$ to sex adju/m5t ab\t :i* !y are anxi\s br+s to _m "y p a wond]ful relief4 ,! be/ way to get ! full value ( ?is s]vice is to read fir/1 z "y p are s anxi\s to d1 "s s5sible1 hone/1 & reliable book t at lea/ 9 "p treats ! problems ( sex adju/m5t 9 m>riage1 & !n to ga!r up ! que/ions t are p]sonally tr\blesome or t come because some?+ is n q cle> & take !m to ! physician at ! "t ( ! prem>ital exam9ation4 ,"y p %\ld realize also t beyond ! value ( ?is exam9ation 9 itself1 x is helpful 9 t x enc\rages an intellig5t attitude t[>d all lat] problems t may arise 9 m>riage4 ,x emphasizes ! fact t ! be/ way ( deal+ ) any difficulty is to face x frankly1 try to und]/& x1 & !n seek ! be/ possible help4 ,"y p are s consci\s ( ! help !y ne$ = ! c>ry+ on ( _! m>riage & family c>e] t 9 e "p ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates we h petitions f /ud5ts ask+ college adm9i/rators = c\rses 9 prep>ation = m>riage4 ,b if e college 7 giv+ ?is in/ruction1 we c\ld n expect t x w\ld rea* all ,am]ican y\?4 ,o!r in/itutions & organizations mu/ c>ry on 9 ! same way1 s t o!r gr\ps ?an college "y p may get _! *ance to h a mod]n entrance into m>riage4 ,! ne$ ( emotional prep>$ness = m>riage mu/ be /ress$4 ,! opportunity to />t m>riage "r by br++ ! res\rces ( exp]i5ce & ( sci5ce %\ld be ! bir?right ( all ,am]ican y\?4 ,^! "y p seek specific1 practical in=mation t w give !m insight4 ,!y are eag] to keep to ! pa?way lead+ n only to a satisfy+ m>riage b to a m>riage ^: mean+ goes =w>d along ) our advanc+ civilization4 ,dr4 ,james ,l4 ,mc,conaughy ,,*apt] ,,two ,n[ ,t ,y ,are ,engag$ ,love is bl9d1 says ! adage4 ,love %\ld be op5-ey$ & wise1 say ! mod]n engag$ c\ple4 ,a successful m>riage dep5ds ^u two factors--emotions & bra9s2 no m>riage succe$s unless ^! are comb9$4 ,fall+ 9 love is ess5tial1 b "o c fall out ( love z well4 ,fall+ 9 love is ! bus9ess ( ! emotions2 /ay+ !re1 hold+ y\r lov]'s affection1 requires bra9s4 ,a lifetime ( happy intimacy betwe5 two individuals z diff]5t z a "y man & a "y wom5 c be atta9$ if ! m9d is us$4 ,x is only ! old fogy :o ?9ks mod]n "y p "k too mu*4 ,psy*ology tea*es u t all emotions des]ve /udy2 if !y are wisely utiliz$1 happ9ess results2 if !y are ?\ghtlessly sp5t or ?w>t$1 we may pay ! price 9 unsatisfi$ lives1 brok5 hopes1 sometimes 9 psy*iatric di/urbances4 ,! engagem5t p]iod--if x is approa*$ intellig5tly--c be a "t n only ( supreme happ9ess1 b ( wise gr[? 9 und]/&+ & prep>ation = m>riage4 ,un=tunately1 mod]n "y p sometimes res5t ! idea t any "o else c help !m solve _! problems4 ,advice may seem to !m int]f]5ce4 ,we are go+ to live our own lives4 ,:y %\ld any "o else c>e :at we d8 ,:y %\ld outsid]s feel t !y h a "r to tell u 'd' or 'don't'8 ,su* an attitude is und]/&able1 b x is un=tunate1 & ! "y p are ! ones :o suff]4 ,p]haps x is true t ! old] g5]ation feels t x mu/ advise y\?1 ev5 attempt+ to control x2 b x is also true t we1 ne>] ! end ( ! road1 %\ld be qualifi$ to furni% a map ( ! way to ^? ab\t to />t out ^u x4 ,?anks to mod]n sci5tific me?ods1 ! map is n[ mu* m accurate ?an ! "o h&$ ov] to u4 ,!re are c]ta9 well-*>t$ highroads :]e !re 7 once only brambl$ trails4 ,among ! sci5tific me?ods are ! /ati/ical /udies ( m>riage2 ^! %[ c]ta9 int]e/+ conclusions4 ,college p h a high] p]c5tage ( successful m>riages--at lea/1 !y %[ a l[] divorce ratio4 ,app>5tly college graduates use _! m9ds 9 pick+ a mate & 9 prep>+ = m>riage4 ,m>riages betwe5 ^? :o h gone to co$ucational colleges appe> to h a /ill high] *ance ( success4 ,?is is probably ! result ( close association betwe5 ! sexes 9 su* in/itutions4 ,b ! use ( "o's m9d is :at is important2 m>riage c be fully z successful = ^? :o are n college-tra9$4 ,accord+ to /ati/ical /udies1 ov]dom9ance by p>5ts decreases ! *ance ( successful m>riage4 ,apron /r+s nev] aid engag$ c\ples4 ,a good rule = families is to let ! "y p avail !mselves ( p>5tal sugge/ion1 n to =ce dictates ^u !m4 ,/ati/ically1 m m>riages succe$ if ea* p>tn] has _h an e>li] love affair4 ,x is1 say ! exp]ts1 an asset to h _h boy or girl fri5ds ) :om y ?\ght = a "t y 7 9 love4 ,( c\rse all ( u "k completely happy m>riages ( boy & girl swee!>ts2 mo/ ( u also "k unhappy c\ples :o fir/ became engag$ dur+ _! te5s1 "o ( :om has entirely outgr[n ! o!r1 ) mismat+ z a result4 ,su* mismat+ is n at fir/ app>5t--may n be = sev]al ye>s4 ,! man usually1 by ! nature ( 8 occupation1 meets m p ?an does ! woman4 ,he f9ds himself 9 m v>i$ & int]e/+ situations1 & may become a m colorful1 a bigg] p]son ?an 8 wife4 ,occasionally ! conv]se may be true4 ,at any rate1 x is a tragic ?+ :5 ei!r husb& or wife s f> outgr[s ! o!r t !y h no common int]e/1 no mutual pleasures4 ,! engagem5t p]iod is ! "t to prove ! quality ( love4 ,are y--! girl--capable ( gr[?8 ,c y1 h>ass$ by h\sehold tasks1 keep up ) y\r husb& z he develops 9 ! _w ( m58 ,are y--! man--s cong5ial ) ?is girl :om y wi% to m>ry t y w want to %>e y\r exp]i5ces ) h]1 9 situations v diff]5t f ^? ( c\rt%ip & engagem5t days8 ,! engagem5t p]iod itself is n altoge!r an easy "t4 ,wise "y p c make x "o ( full] acqua9tance & ( gr[? 9 ?\ghtfulness & c\rtesy4 ,on ! o!r h&1 mo/ engag$ c\ples w discov] small faults 9 ea* o!r1 ev5 :5 !y are deeply 9 love4 ,details t _h be5 invisible be=e may n[ loom l>ge4 ,c>elessness 9 p]sonal habits1 mann]s1 spee*1 & attitude may become irritants t jeop>dize romance4 ,a trait t may h be5 a s\rce ( amusem5t be=e n[ becomes irritat+ & exasp]at+4 ,if ! trait is a fundam5tal "o1 m>riage %\ld be ev5 m se>*+ly que/ion$1 al?\gh ! w$d+ date may be only a few weeks (f4 ,mu* has be5 writt5 ab\t ! girl :o m>ries a man to re=m him2 if ! re=mation is n complet$ dur+ ! engagem5t1 ! *ances ( success aft] m>riage are small4 ,yes1 ?is new intimacy ( ! engagem5t p]iod may inde$ be try+4 ,tact is requir$ to avoid fault-f9d+1 nagg+1 & jeal\sy4 ,a few lov]s' qu>rels d n matt]--!y give flavor to a romance--b scold+ & criticism d4 ,romance dies :5 ?\ghtless qu>rel+ ent]s4 ,an engag$ man %\ld be ev5 m ( a g5tleman ?an ! c\rt+ swa92 ! girl ) a r+ on ! ?ird f+] ( h] left h& %\ld /rive to be ev5 m *>m+ & fem99e ?an ! he>t-free lass4 ,besides ! problems ( p]sonality adju/m5t t prop9quity pres5ts1 !re are su* que/ions z ^! to look into3 ,is "o /&>d ( moral conduct aft] m>riage to apply to bo?8 ,h[ free is ea* p>tn] to be8 ,:at opportunity is ! girl to h to be h]self1 h h] own int]e/s & fri5ds & money8 ,h[ soon is ! fir/ *ild want$8 ,fur!r--& j z important--! problems ( ! f9ancial outlook c be work$ on dur+ ! engagem5t p]iod4 ,! wise c\ple discuss ?or\ghly _! f9ancial setup1 draw up a budget1 & use _! pres5t res\rces to acquire equipm5t = ! new home4 ,!y decide que/ions :i* are to =m ! basis ( ! m>riage & l>gely influ5ce its success3 ,is ! wife to h h] own %>e ( ! family income1 h] own *eck+ acc\nt8 ,mu/ %e ask h] husb& = money = ea* h\sehold exp5se1 or w %e h an all[ance on :i* to run ! home8 ,9 addition1 is %e to h money = h] own p]sonal uses1 ) no m acc\nt+ requir$ ?an is expect$ ( ! husb&'s exp5ditures = tobacco & o!r p]sonal :ims8 ,:ile su* matt]s are be+ talk$ ov] & decid$ ) mutual consid]ation1 tra9+ = m>riage itself is "u way4 ,! engag$ c\ple may well le>n to put into practice two simple yet v helpful sugge/ions = m>ri$ p3 nev] bo? lose y\r temp] at ! same "t2 make ! o!r laugh once daily4 ,!y may also acquire an art :i* contributes def9itely to happ9ess 9 m>riage3 play+ toge!r4 ,i ?9k ?is is s\nd advice = brides-to-be3 ,if he is a golf]1 try to le>n en\gh ab\t ! game at lea/ to respond to 8 en?usiasm4 ,if he fi%es1 enc\rage him & try to le>n :y su* a simple sport ?rills him4 ,if baseball is 8 game1 d n disda9 8 *oice = an aft]noon's relaxation2 if he wants y to jo9 him1 g & le>n en\gh to enjoy ! game ) him2 if he wants to g ) m5 fri5ds1 enc\rage him1 & d n fe> ?is means 8 love is cool+6 7,romance ?rives on occasional sep>ations1 ev5 occasional vacations f m>riage47 ,be int]e/$ 9 8 do+s1 b d n be a nuisance4 99 99 99 99 99 ,grooms-to-be3 ,if %e likes bridge1 improve y\r game & avoid emb>rass+ h] by dumb bids & play4 ,if %e enjoys art & f9ds an art exhibit wor? :ile1 d n be ! dumb male & say t ?is means no?+ to y2 let h] tea* y :at pictures c mean--& to real he m51 too4 ,if %e enjoys good music--go+ to conc]ts or li/5+ to ! radio--try to %>e h] pleasure & discov] :at x is t really gives h] su* satisfaction4 ,9 o!r words1 if ei!r has a favorite sport or a hobby1 ! o!r %\ld try to jo9 9--at lea/ 9 ! evid5t satisfaction x gives4 ,j go+ to ! movies1 or sitt+ on ! sidel9es wat*+ o!rs play1 is n ! ideal jo9t use ( leisure2 "y c\ples %\ld actually d some?+ toge!r4 ,ex]cise--active sports--helps keep e "o up to p> physically2 good heal? is "o ( ! sure/ f\ndations = a happy m>riage4 ,divorce ?rives among ^? bel[ p>2 m5tal heal?1 s]5ity1 poise1 & mutual consid]ation are all aid$ by good physical condition4 ,& rememb] t m5tal en]gy ne$s an outlet1 too4 ,! /imulation ( good conv]sation 9 mix$ gr\ps has a favorable effect on ! emotional life ( wom5 z well z m54 ,am]ican husb&s (t5 err 9 n draw+ out _! wom5folk2 contempt = _! ideas is too frequ5t4 ,^? :o are wise/ ab\t successful m>riages advise aga9/ long engagem5ts4 ,a ha/y m>riage & a %ort engagem5t are n ! same ?+4 ,an engag$ c\ple :o are sure ( _! he>ts & m9ds %\ld be help$ to m>ry z soon z ! plans = ! m>riage c be wisely work$ out4 ,?is usually involves f9ances--,h[ soon c we af=d x8 ,wise p>5ts today coop]ate s t ! "y c\ple d n h to wait too long4 ,9 _m cases ! old] g5]ation1 if x c af=d x1 may give a small all[ance to ! rec5tly m>ri$ son or daught]4 ,money ?us giv5 on a def9ite mon?ly basis = a previ\sly det]m9$ p]iod means mu* m ?an a small beque/ :5 ! fa!r dies4 ,or ! p>5ts may agree1 on a plan c>efully ?\ght out1 to help if unexpect$ f9ancial problems beset ! "y c\ple4 ,fa!r may say t if illness ov]takes ei!r1 or if ! fir/ baby arrives e>li] ?an plann$1 or if a sudd5 decrease 9 sal>y comes1 he w gladly help--n ) a loan or z a grudg+ *>ity b z an int]e/$ p>ty to ! success ( ! m>riage4 ,if ! man possibly c1 he %\ld take out "s insurance1 seek+ unprejudic$ advice be=e *oos+ betwe5 ! _m k9ds ( policies ea* company writes4 ,ev5 if ! policy is small1 x is at lea/ a back log if trag$y comes2 fur!rmore1 meet+ ! insurance premiums is a f9e fir/ /ep t[>d regul> sav+4 ,m>ry+ :5 ei!r is 9 debt is to be avoid$2 su* a weight hang+ ov] two "y m>ri$ p all too frequ5tly m>s ! *ances ( happ9ess4 ,& if x is humanly possible1 no man %\ld m>ry :ile o!rs are dep5d5t ^u him4 ,"o comm5t to engag$ /ud5ts3 ,unless ! circum/ances are exceptional1 d n m>ry until y\r pr(essional tra9+ is done4 ,if ! girl has h] own income or an assur$ job1 p]haps s2 if p>5ts w help if an em]g5cy arises1 p]haps s2 o!rwise wait until y are ?r\gh pr(essional s*ool4 ,hospitals dislike to appo9t m>ri$ m5 z int]nes2 !y are requir$ to live 9 ! hospital1 :i* means no home life4 ,law s*ool & m>riage d n usually mix well--nor eng9e]+ s*ool1 nor any o!r =m ( po/-graduate tra9+4 ,! engag$ man :o is prep>+ = college tea*+ is usually wise if he asks ! girl to wait4 ,_m ( u "k ( graduate /ud5ts :o m>ri$ ) only a fell[%ip or ! wages ( a wife z income1 ^: m>riages h be5 almo/ wreck$ by sudd5 illness or a baby1 ) result+ f9ancial worries :i* h ag$ bo? ! man & woman prematurely4 ,late m>riage = pr(essionally tra9$ m5 is1 app>5tly1 "o ( ! un=tunate results ( ! long p]iod ( prep>ation = a call+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! case = po/ponem5t is j z /rong :5 "o or bo? are "u-graduates 9 college1 ) no pr(essional tra9+ plann$4 ,college m>riages are n s wise z m>riage aft] college "w is f9i%$4 ,!re are exceptions1 h[ev]2 "o kn[s ( cases :]e m>riage & return to college to f9i% 0 wise4 ,x is un=tunate t "s colleges h rules deb>r+ /ud5ts :o m>ry dur+ ! c\rse2 secret m>riages (t5 result--& ^! are always to be deplor$4 ,sometimes p>5tal opposition1 or o!r factors1 seem to ! "y c\ple to be suffici5t ju/ification = a secret m>riage4 ,! circum/ances :i* c make ?is a wise decision are v1 v r>e4 ,m>riage is a public matt]2 x %\ld n be hidd54 ,! c\ple may feel t only _! own lives are involv$1 b !y are all too (t5 wrong4 ,ev5 ! be/ me?ods ( bir? control are f> f #ajj p]c5t dep5dable2 if a baby is com+1 ! c\ple face ann\ncem5ts & explanations & recrim9ations j at a "t :5 s]5ity & fre$om f emotional /ra9 are desirable1 p>ticul>ly = ! bride4 ,secrecy usually means hypocrisy2 (t5 x means deceit4 ,figures %[ t secret m>riages (t5 produce m>ital unhapp9ess & an abnormal numb] ( divorces4 ,! w$d+ date is *os5 by ! bride2 ! honeymoon arrangem5ts are ! responsibility ( ! groom4 ,a w$d+ is fatigu+1 p>ticul>ly to ! girl2 ! ?\ghtful man w n plan a long tra9 or motor trip or tir+ sightsee+ or visits to new relatives2 new 9-laws c be visit$ m wisely at a lat] "t4 ,^! days %\ld be a p]iod ( intimate companion%ip2 a summ] camp1 p]haps l5t by a fri5d1 is ideal4 ,"h1 surr\nd$ by nature & n mank9d1 relax$ honeymoon]s w f9d ! re/ & privacy :i* %\ld be !irs4 ,:]e to live aft] ! w$d+8 ,obvi\sly :]e ! husb&'s job is4 ,no ne$ to wait until 8 *ance 9 ! big city comes2 ! small t[n is a bett] place to beg9 m>riage4 ,fri5d%ips come easi]1 life is simpl] & usually *eap]4 ,! divorce rate is mu* high] 9 ! cities ?an 9 small t[ns or rural regions4 ,=tunate t c\ple :o />t _! m>ri$ life 9 a t[n small en\gh s t neighbors are int]e/$ & helpful4 ,! city ap>tm5t h\se is ! mo/ imp]sonal =m ( dwell+ mank9d has devis$4 ,if ! fir/ home does n h all ! mod]n improvem5ts1 x is no great trag$y4 ,m m>riages are wreck$ by too mu* free "t ?an by too _m home tasks to p]=m4 ,our gr&p>5ts m>ri$ 9 ! days ( cov]$ wagons & sodh\ses & dr\ght2 a da% ( _! _s is a good +r$i5t 9 a mod]n m>riage4 99 99 99 99 99 ,above all else1 ! engag$ c\ple %\ld plan to h a home ( _! own1 ev5 if x is only two rooms4 ,if economic consid]ations make !m consid] mov+ 9 ) ! 9-laws1 let "s "o w>n !m t ! adju/m5t ( two p]sonalities :i* m>riage involves dem&s "s privacy beyond t ( a b$room4 ,p>5ts1 no matt] h[ lov+ & wise1 help ! newly m>ri$ mo/ :5 !y d n live "u ! same ro( ) !m4 ,lov+ int]f]5ce1 irritation1 n]v\s t5sion1 usually g ) liv+ ) ! folks4 ,if !y h to live ) ! old] folks1 ! "y p %\ld arrange to h two or ?ree rooms ( _! own1 ) _! own privacies1 :]e !y c ent]ta9 _! own fri5ds & be !mselves4 ,if !y live ?us "u ! p>5tal ro(1 !y c keep _! self-respect by pay+ some?+ a mon? z r5t1 no matt] h[ small4 ,fur!rmore1 !y %\ld own _! furniture--at lea/ "s ( x2 x %\ld repres5t _! own jo9t ta/e2 ! possession ( "s l>es & p5ates is a v good basis = a lifetime p>tn]%ip4 ,! jo9t possession ( mat]ial ?+s is almo/ an ess5tial to successful m>riage4 ,%\ld ! girl hold h] job aft] %e m>ries8 ,"s au?orities say t a bride is bett] (f1 emotionally m s]5e1 if %e has "s "w--n too fatigu+--outside ! home4 ,mod]n "y p d n m>ry until !y "k t ea* br+s to ! m>riage bodily fitness4 ,a m$ical exam9ation1 ) blood te/s1 is requir$ 9 _m progressive /ates be=e a m>riage lic5se c be secur$4 ,a doctor's c]tificate ( bodily fitness = m>riage is fully z ess5tial z a m>riage lic5se4 ,su* an exam9ation gives a feel+ ( security to ea* individual & =w>ds ! well be+ ( society4 ,to _m mod]n engag$ c\ples ! mo/ di/urb+ "q is1 ,%all we wait until m>riage = physical union8 ,no "q1 ,i ?9k1 comes up m (t5 9 college c\rses & conf]5ces on engagem5t & m>riage4 ,we love ea* o!r devot$ly2 :y %\ld we wait = a m]e lic5se & a public c]emony8 ,t te/imony :i* tra9$ doctors1 sociologi/s1 & psy*iatri/s give is entirely 9 favor ( po/pon+ all su* relations until aft] ! m>riage c]emony4 ,fur!rmore1 /ati/ics %[ t m>riages 9 :i* ! engag$ c\ple d n g all ! way seem to h a high] *ance ( success4 ,mod]n life has made ?is a ke5] difficulty = "y p ?an x 0 = mo/ ( u old] ones4 ,inhibitions h l>gely gone1 "y p are all[$ to "w out _! own problems2 ! automobile1 t\ri/ cab91 & hotels ) c>eless /&>ds = _! gue/s all[ any engag$ c\ple pl5ty ( opportunity1 :i* we l>gely lack$4 ,if1 ev5 ?\gh an engag$ c\ple are passionately 9 love1 ! temptation does n pres5t itself at all1 !y are =tunate2 !re h be5 millions ( happy m>riages be=e 9 :i* ?is has tak5 c>e ( itself naturally4 ,on ! o!r h&1 if !y h to face ?is situation frankly1 & decid$ to wait1 !y ne$ h no fe> t ?is indicates a lack ( sex feel+ or t aft] m>riage ?is relation%ip may fail because x has n be5 indulg$ 9 e>li]4 ,b let u all realize frankly h[ (t5 ?is problem tr\bles ! majority ( engag$ c\ples--no matt] h[ f9e _! pr9ciples may be4 ,und]/&+ & love are m helpful 9 su* situations ?an g5]al advice & don't4 ,assi/+ ! "y c\ple to m>ry soon is usually ! be/ help we c give4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if an engag$ c\ple are will+ to ?9k ?is matt] ov] z unemotionally z possible1 ! foll[+ po9ts may be consid]$3 ,po/ponem5t ( m>riage because ( economic conditions has be5 a problem almo/ z old z ! race2 !y are n ! fir/ c\ple to face ?is difficulty4 ,revolt aga9/ ! /&>ds ( home1 *ur*1 & society is almo/ always an exp5sive decision2 secret actions are to be deplor$2 worry ab\t :at may happ5 may de/roy ! s]5ity 9 love :i* %\ld ideally *>act]ize ! engagem5t p]iod4 ,!y %\ld be glad t !y d h sex hung]1 b %\ld recognize t ea* p]son owes j a little to ! pres]vation ( morality & social /&>ds2 ev5 if !y feel t ! conditions :i* beset !m are h>d1 !y %\ld ?9k twice be=e plac+ !mselves outside ! pale ( social sanction4 ,! engag$ "y man may well d "s special ?9k+ ( 8 own4 ,no bir?-control me?ods are sure2 ! te/imony ( m$ical gr\ps rates v>i\s proc$ures z f #bj p]c5t to #ij p]c5t safe2 no man :o really loves 8 fiance w\ld take ! *ance ( gett+ h] 9 tr\ble4 ,m ( ! responsibility ( ?is decision re/s on ! man ?an on ! girl4 ,%e may seem to be entirely will+1 b ! normal girl worries1 ev5 if only ov] :at h] p>5ts w\ld ?9k if !y knew4 ,m ?an "o m>riage has be5 wreck$ because ( ! psy*iatric effect ^u ! girl ( su* practices dur+ h] engagem5t4 ,fur!rmore1 _m engag$ c\ples d n f9ally m>ry2 memories ( =bidd5 intimacies are n go+ to make x easi] = ei!r to give himself or h]self fully to ! "r p]son lat] on2 prem>ital relations ) ano!r may prove a real h&icap to ! full realization1 lat]1 ( an ideal romance & m>riage4 ,! complete realization ( sex aft] m>riage is nev] s fully accompli%$1 emotionally & lov+ly1 if ! two h refus$ to wait4 ,ev5 ! mo/ sophi/icat$ "y p h some:]e inside !m hesitations ab\t ! wisdom ( defy+ social /&>ds4 ,!re is a spiritual side to m>riage2 practices 9 secret1 unapprov$ by o!rs1 detract def9itely f ?is important phase ( m>riage4 ,ev5 if ! "y man c conv9ce himself t n wait+ is "r1 9 spite ( :at 8 fiance may say1 %e is unlikely to agree 9 h] he>t4 ,v few m5 :o rationalize !mselves into believ+ t su* a c\rse ( action is wise w\ld be z will+ to h _! si/] or--"s day--_! daught] d likewise4 ,rememb] ^! tru?s3 ,9 m>ri$ life itself !re are _m difficult decisions1 _m ?+s y w\ld l to d1 :i* wisely y d n4 ,y are def9itely prep>+ y\rself = m>riage 9 /r5g!n+ y\r "* by say+ no n[4 ,if y h decid$ n to1 d n all[ y\rselves to be 9 situations :i* make x unduly difficult to c>ry out y\r decision4 ,dr9k /imulates ! sex urge2 few dec5t p w\ld enjoy rememb]+ t _! fir/ sex exp]i5ce came :5 !y 7 /imulat$ by liquor4 ,if y dr9k1 avoid emotional situations 9 secret !reaft]1 until ?is /imulus has worn (f4 ,if y h>ass y\r s]5ity & lov+ contacts by reop5+ ! decision e "t y meet1 try to d ?+s toge!r 9 :i* ?is sex elem5t does n pres5t itself z a p]petual problem4 ,"o c\ple beset ea* "t !y 7 toge!r ) ! difficulty ( c>ry+ out _! decision n to1 delib]ately decid$ to visit art museums toge!r in/ead ( m]ely pett+2 ?is new int]e/ m9imiz$ ! o!r problem & gave !m some?+ mo/ wor? :ile to discuss1 & x is n[ "o ( ! _m f9e ?+s 9 _! m>ri$ life4 ,m>g>et ,culk9 ,bann+1 9 ,! ,read]'s ,dige/ = ,augu/1 #aicg1 summ>izes ,! ,case = ,*a/ity4 ,= ! engag$ c\ple1 ! foll[+ ( h] po9ts apply3 ! girl :o is un*a/e ) h] fianc (t5 hesitates to get compet5t m$ical advice2 v5]eal disease is a dang]2 abortions are dang]\s physically & emotionally2 fe> %\ld nev] accompany sex2 sex exp]i5ce be=e m>riage may h>m sex lat] on2 "o's moral code is violat$2 "s discov]ies %\ld be sav$ = m>riage itself2 prem>ital relations /imulate jeal\sy aft] m>riage2 e>ly m>riage is a bett] solution4 99 99 99 99 99 ,f ! sociological /&po9t we %\ld take great satisfaction 9 ! increas+ly wise way 9 :i* "y ,am]icans are approa*+ m>riage4 ,fifte5 ye>s ago ! subject 0 entirely neglect$ 9 our colleges2 today at lea/ #ajj1jjj college boys & girls h ! opportunity to enroll 9 college c\rses or to att5d discussion conf]5ces on m>riage4 ,wise m5 & wom5 h /udi$ ! basis = successful m>riage & h writt5 ab\t x4 ,laws h be5 *ang$ s t su* books--writt5 by ,am]ican sociologi/s1 doctors1 & psy*iatri/s--are g5]ally available 9 college libr>ies today4 ,h[ev]1 ev5 ! be/ books d n answ] all ! normal que/ions :i* arise4 ,9 _m progressive communities m>riage cl9ics h be5 e/abli%$1 :]e bo? engag$ & m>ri$ p]sons may secure advice f wise1 tra9$ au?orities4 ,! ideal consultant is a wise family doctor--especially if he has kn[n bo? "y p f *ildhood--to :om !y c g toge!r = a p]sonal conf]5ce4 ,sometimes ! family m9i/] is wise en\gh to give help4 ,appropriate k ab\t sex is necess>y = ! engag$4 ,sexual exp]i5ce is n4 ,c]ta9ly x c n[ be said--z x c\ld n five ye>s ago--t no mod]n m>riage ne$ be wreck$ because ! "y c\ple did n "k :]e to turn = helpful advice4 ,dr4 ,ellswor? ,hunt+ton ,,*apt] ,,?ree ,ought ,i ,to ,m>ry8 ,ought ,i to m>ry8 is n a simple "q4 ,its answ] is full ( a ?\s& complications4 ,= ! great majority ( p x is "o ( ! ?ree mo/ important que/ions t are ev] answ]$ or left unansw]$ 9 a :ole lifetime4 ,! o!r two are ,:at is my ma9 purpose 9 life8 & ,:at is to be my occupation8 ,!y are old que/ions1 b ,ought ,i to m>ry8 is new4 ,9 ! old days ev]yone 0 m>ri$ z a matt] ( c\rse4 ,p]haps 9 ! future ! ma9 "q w be1 ,am ,i fit to be m>ri$8 ,ought ,i to m>ry8 is really ?ree que/ions 9 "o4 ,fir/1 ,h ,i a "r to m>ry8 ,second1 ,is x wise = me to m>ry8 ,?ird1 ,is x my duty to m>ry8 ,y say1 p]haps1 t ^! que/ions are y\r own bus9ess & nobody else's1 b y are wrong4 ,!y are somebody else's bus9ess1 & ! somebodies else are a good deal m num]\s ?an y ?9k4 ,! fir/ somebody is ! man or girl :om y want to m>ry4 ,w x be good = him or h] to m>ry y8 ,! next somebodies are ! *ildr5 :om y & y\r mate may h4 ,!y h a "r to be born ) a good inh]itance1 to be re>$ 9 good heal?1 & to be well tra9$ 9 a happy home4 ,y\r *ildr5's *ildr51 too1 w h a "r to bless y or curse y1 accord+ to y\r way ( answ]+ ! "q1 ,ought ,i to m>ry8 ,b ev5 y\r *ildr51 gr&*ildr51 & great-gr&*ildr5 are n all ! somebodies :o are vitally conc]n$ ) y\r answ]4 ,hundr$s ( p w be help$ or h9d]$ by y\r home1 by ! k9d ( p]son y become "u its influ5ce1 & by ! k9d ( *ildr5 :o g out f x4 ,y & he1 or y & %e1 are c]ta9ly ! ones mo/ imm$iately conc]n$ 9 ! "q ,ought ,i to m>ry8 b y\r *ildr5's /ake 9 ! matt] is ev5 great] ?an y\rs4 ,n[ = ! ?ree que/ions :i* are impli$ :5 y ask1 ,ought ,i to m>ry8 ,fir/1 ,h ,i a "r to m>ry8 ,e "y p]son %\ld ask ?is "q4 ,fitness includes sev]al aspects1 among :i* ! fir/ is physical4 ,! mo/ inexcusable unfitness is v5]eal disease4 ,!re is no mean] crime ?an = a "y man to acquire v5]eal disease by reason ( weakness ( w1 & !n pass x on to an innoc5t girl & p]haps to unborn *ildr54 ,physicians say t 9 spite ( s-call$ mod]n prophylaxis & suppos$ cures1 syphilis is /ill al>m+ly common1 & o!r v5]eal diseases are rampant4 ,a p]son hav+ any ( ^! diseases has absolutely no "r to m>ry4 ,ev5 if he is pron\nc$ cur$1 he ought n to m>ry until a physician pron\nces him cur$ beyond dang] ( recurr5ce4 ,= ?is reason ! /ricte/ prem>ital exam9ation by a compet5t physician %\ld be requir$4 ,m>riage %\ld be contract$ only aft] su* a physician has giv5 bo? man & woman a clean bill ( heal?4 ,?is is desirable z a means n only ( creat+ a public op9ion :i* w express itself 9 laws1 b ( giv+ bo? p>ties a feel+ ( security4 ,no matt] h[ completely !y may tru/ ea* o!r1 x is well to h a physician v]ify ! tru/4 ,ano!r reason = a complete physical exam9ation be=e m>riage is to det]m9e :e!r x is possible = bo? p>ties to h *ildr54 ,sometimes exp]t m$ical advice & treatm5t make all ! diff]5ce betwe5 a *ildless home & "o t has ! happ9ess ( a well-r\nd$ family4 ,9 e m>riage *ildr5 %\ld be an ess5tial feature--! mo/ ess5tial feature 9 ! long run4 ,9 _m c\ntries /]ility is suffici5t gr\nds = divorce4 ,9 an ideal civilization probably no m>riage w\ld be p]mitt$ betwe5 a p]son :o appe>s to be /]ile & "o :o appe>s normal4 ,! /]ile w\ld m>ry ! /]ile1 & ! f]tile ! f]tile4 ,ev5 9 our civilization :at "r has anyone to doom 8 p>tn] to a *ildless m>riage8 ,! ov]:elm+ majority ( p want *ildr54 ,only ! highly exceptional & pitiable woman is )\t ?is desire4 ,! normal man feels x almo/ z /rongly z ! woman :5 once ! little h& ( 8 own *ild clasps 8 f+]4 ,( c\rse un=ese5 conditions may unexpect$ly make "o p>tn] to a m>riage /]ile1 b t is ano!r matt] & by no means prev5ts a happy m>riage4 ,9 c]ta9 cases1 too1 x may be all[able = a f]tile p>tn] to m>ry "o :o is kn[n to be /]ile4 ,t %\ld nev] happ51 h[ev]1 )\t ! fulle/ k on ! "p ( bo?1 & )\t full "t to ?9k ! matt] ov] quietly & 9 complete fre$om f ! emotional /ra9 caus$ by ! lov$ "o's frequ5t pres5ce4 ,_m *ildless m>riages are r5d]$ n only happy b v useful to society by ! adoption ( *ildr54 ,x %\ld always be rememb]$ t f ! /&po9t n only ( family life b ( old age & ( society 9 g5]al1 *ildr5 are ! mo/ important result ( m>riage4 ,! wor/ =ms ( unfitness = m>riage are h]$it>y1 b "s h]$it>y defects are mild1 "s t]rible4 ,!re is mu* d\bt z to :e!r _m defects are h]$it>y or are ! result ( unfavorable conditions dur+ pregnancy & e>ly infancy4 ,f> too mu* emphasis is plac$ ^u ext]nal & easily visible defects 9 comp>ison ) int]nal ones :i* _c be s readily detect$4 ,su* m9or h]$it>y defects z h>e lip or mis%ap$ f+]s d n necess>ily indicate unfitness = m>riage4 ,!y are f> less dang]\s ?an h]$it>y susceptibility to diseases su* z diabetes or weakness ( ! he>t1 :i* lead to unhappy m>riages by reason ( frequ5t illness or e>ly dea?4 ,a h]$it>y t5d5cy t[>d %ort-sight$ness or defective tee?1 on ! contr>y1 may p]mit ! longe/ & happie/ ( m>riages4 ,all inh]it$ defects are regrettable1 b practically no "o is free f !m 9 "s m9or =m4 ,! s5sible attitude t[>d m9or h]$it>y defects is to balance _! real importance aga9/ bo? ! good & ! bad qualities %[n n only by ! individual b by 8 bro!rs1 si/]s1 p>5ts1 & o!r relatives4 ,consci5ti\s suff]]s f visible defects ( any k9d are apt to ov]e/imate _! importance4 ,moreov]1 _m suppos$ly h]$it>y defects may equally well be ! result ( an unfavorable environm5t l t :i* caus$ simil> defects 9 ! p>5ts4 ,"u ideal conditions !y might nev] appe> at all4 ,9 su* matt]s1 too1 ! be/ c\rse is to consult a good physician4 ,(t51 p]haps usually1 ! be/ ?+ is m]ely to avoid m>riage ) a p]son %[+ defects l "o's own1 & !n /rive to give y\r *ildr5 s good an environm5t t only ! be/ 9 !m w h a *ance to develop4 ,=tunately ! va/ majority ( p inh]it a fairly good assemblage ( traits :i* balance 9 su* a way z to produce normal human be+s4 ,"o type ( defici5cy1 h[ev]1 r5d]s p g5u9ely unfit = m>riage4 ,x takes v>i\s =ms4 ,"o =m1 easily recogniz$1 is :at is commonly call$ m5tal defici5cy4 ,by ?is we mean n m]ely ! k9d ( m9d f\nd 9 idiots & imbeciles1 b t :i* appe>s 9 morons & o!r high grade m5tal weakl+s4 ,su* m5tal weakness1 or feeble-m9d$ness1 is especially dang]\s to society because x (t5 afflicts p :o are physically /rong & attractive1 & :o are eag] to m>ry4 ,:5 su* p]sons m>ry1 !y ex]cise little self-control & are likely to h l>ge families4 ,9 ?is respect !y are unlike m5tal defectives ( l[] types1 :o r>ely h _m *ildr5 & ^: *ildr5 are likely to die "y4 ,high grade m5tal defectives t5d to m>ry "o ano!r4 ,! result is bad 9 two ways4 ,fir/1 if ! m5tal defici5cy ( "o or bo? p>5ts is h]$it>y1 z is (t5 ! case1 *ildr5 ) defective m5tal capacity are sure to be born1 & w 9 turn produce o!r defectives4 ,second1 ev5 if ! defects ( ! p>5ts are due to accid5t or disease1 ! *ildr5 are almo/ sure to be badly br\ght up4 ,! *ief type ( m5tal weakness is emotional 9 nature4 ,"h is a "y fell[ :o z a boy 0 always a cry-baby & mamma's d>l+4 ,he is afraid to /& up = himself1 afraid ( a?letics1 afraid ( girls2 &1 because ( all ?is1 he is lonely1 morose1 & secretive4 ,"h is a girl ( great ability & *>m b subject to fits ( deep depression4 ,ano!r "y man loses 8 temp] v easily & *]i%es res5tm5t = a long "t ov] trivial matt]s4 ,! girl :om he is int]e/$ 9 is extremely self-consci\s & ?9ks t %e is be+ purposely slight$ unless %e is ! c5t] ( ev]y?+4 ,o!rs1 bo? boys & girls1 are excessively irritable1 v suspici\s1 inord9ately selfi%1 hy/]ical1 va+lori\s1 or 9 o!r ways %[ lack ( self-control & emotional /ability4 ,lat] 9 life su* conditions may lead to int5se mis]y4 ,nev]!less traits ( ?is sort are (t5 comb9$ ) v f9e qualities 9 o!r respects4 ,?is r5d]s x extremely h>d to decide :e!r su* p]sons are fit = m>riage4 ,x is extremely difficult to det]m9e :e!r emotional in/ability1 selfi%ness1 & o!r undesirable traits are due to h]$ity or environm5t4 ,at ?is po9t we ent] a field ( great difficulty because a trait may be inborn1 b n h]$it>y4 ,a *ild may be born ) s]i\s h&icaps because "s ailm5t due to unfavorable environm5t prev5t$ its "m f n\ri%+ x prop]ly be=e x 0 born4 ,su* weakness is n truly h]$it>y4 ,x w n appe> 9 lat] g5]ations unless ! mo!rs ( ^? g5]ations also suff] f environm5tal conditions simil> to ^? :i* prev5t$ ! fir/ "m f n\ri%+ h] *ild4 ,x (t5 happ5s t su* conditions are repeat$ f g5]ation to g5]ation4 ,if ?is happ5s v e>ly 9 ! pre-natal life ( ! *ild1 ! results are v likely to be mis9t]pret$ z h]$it>y4 ,9 ! la/ few decades ! /udy ( h]$ity has be5 s fasc9at+ & fruitful t biologi/s h giv5 comp>atively little att5tion to e>ly environm5tal influ5ces4 ,rec5t "w1 h[ev]1 sugge/s t su* influ5ces are f> f negligible4 ,my own /udies ( season ( bir? illu/rate ! matt]4 ,!y sugge/ t ! effect ( physical environm5t ^u ! heal? ( ! p>5ts be=e a *ild is conceiv$ has an important effect ^u ! *ild's future heal? & a*ievem5t4 ,only a h9t ( ! *a9 ( evid5ce lead+ to ?is conclusion is "h possible4 ,_m inve/igations ( dea?s1 fatigue1 "w1 & disease1 z well z num]\s c>efully controll$ laboratory exp]im5ts1 indicate t p feel mo/ com=table & vigor\s1 & h ! be/ heal?1 :5 ! av]age temp]ature = night & day toge!r is ab\t #fc4 ,no?+ is m pleasant ?an a day ( ?is optimum k9d 9 ,may or ,june4 ,at midday ! !rmomet] rises to #gj m or less2 at night x falls l[ en\gh s t p sleep s\ndly & re/fully4 ,a /udy ( season ( bir? 9 _m c\ntries indicates t *ildr5 :o are conceiv$ :5 optimum wea!r ( ?is k9d arrives 9 ! spr+ h /rong] con/itutions & great] p[]s ( application ?an d ^? conceiv$ at any o!r season4 ,evid5ce ( con/itutional vigor is f\nd 9 l5g? ( life4 ,9 f\r l>ge gr\ps ( ,am]icans & 9 "o ( ,italians x has be5 f\nd t ^? born 9 ,m>*1 & !re=e conceiv$ 9 ,june at ! "t ( optimum wea!r1 live long] ?an ^? born at o!r seasons4 ,among #ci1jjj p :o 7 born 9 ! ea/]n ,unit$ ,/ates & :o liv$ beyond ! age ( two ye>s ,i f\nd t on an av]age ^? born 9 ,m>* liv$ #c4h ye>s long] ?an ^? born f ,july to ,septemb]4 ,o!r evid5ce1 into :i* we _c g1 sugge/s t man1 l o!r animals1 inh]its a def9ite seasonal cycle ( reproduction4 ,z ! temp]ature rises t[>d ! optimum 9 ! spr+ ! functions ( ! body *ange 9 su* a way t n only is !re a pron\nc$ feel+ ( well-be+1 b ! *ildr5 conceiv$ at t "t h m ?an ! av]age vigor1 & h5ce correspond+ly long life4 ,! evid5ce t ^! *ildr5 h great] p[]s ( application1 or at lea/ t "s ( !m d1 lies 9 ! bir?days ( em95t p 9 c\ntries z div]se z ,india1 ,spa91 ,russia1 ,engl&1 ,france1 ,g]many1 ,sw$51 & ! ,unit$ ,/ates4 ,9 all ^! c\ntries ! p]c5tage ( em95t p conceiv$ :5 ! optimum wea!r prevails rises mu* high] ?an does ! correspond+ p]c5tage among ord9>y p4 ,moreov]1 ! great] ! degree ( em95ce1 ! m m>k$ is ! contra/ ) p z a :ole4 ,! reason = ?is condition mu/ be t ! vigor :i* gives to _m p long life gives to highly gift$ p a sort ( p[] ( /eady application & h>d "w--an emotional /ability--:i* enables !m to use _! faculties to ! be/ advantage4 ,?us !y a*ieve fame 9 great] measure ?an d equally well-end[$ p]sons ) less vigor4 ,!re is n ! slighte/ reason to suppose t *ildr5 conceiv$ at "o season ( ! ye> inh]it any bett] m9ds ?an d _! bro!rs & si/]s conceiv$ at o!r seasons4 ,!re is equally little reason to believe t ! av]age inh]itance ( m5tal ability decl9es z ! p]iod ( conception approa*es midw9t]1 ! l[ po9t 9 ! seasonal cycle ( reproduction4 ,on ! o!r h&1 l5g? ( life furni%es evid5ce t physical vigor v>ies accord+ to ! degree to :i* ! mo!rs at lea/1 at ! "t ( a *ild's conception1 h be5 "u ! influ5ce ( environm5tal conditions :i* assi/ ! g]m cells 9 develop+ into vigor\s babies4 ,_m /udies ( em95t p %[ t !y are uncommonly long-liv$4 ,:5 dea?s 9 w> & by accid5t are omitt$1 ! av]age l5g? ( life ( #aa1jjj p 9 ! ,briti% ,diction>y ( ,national ,biography 0 #ga ye>s4 ,em95ce & ! k9d ( con/itutional vigor t leads to long life g toge!r4 ,?is br+s u back to ! problem ( fitness = m>riage4 ,if ! effect ( ! wea!r on ! vigor ( p>5ts c h su* an influ5ce on heal?1 longevity & a*ievem5t1 su* conditions z diet & mode ( life may produce simil> effects4 ,?is possibility adds /ill great] int]e/ to ! two-edg$ be>+ ( :at we h j be5 say+ ^u ! problem ( fitness = m>riage4 ,9 ! fir/ place x appe>s t an unexpect$ numb] ( weaknesses :i* are sometimes consid]$ h]$it>y are environm5tal4 ,nev]!less1 !y are also inborn & _c easily be eradicat$ by education4 ,!re=e ! *ance t ord9>y normal p c>ry a dang]\s h]$ity is r$uc$1 b ! responsibility ( p>5ts to see t _! *ildr5 are prop]ly born is increas$4 ,9 ! second place1 x becomes m evid5t ?an ev] t fitness = m>riage implies intellig5t will+ness & p]si/5ce 9 act+ ^u ! discov]ies ( sci5ce 9 :atev] way may be be/ = ! unborn *ild4 ,we h long insi/$ ^u ! "r environm5t = ! expectant "m dur+ pregnancy4 ,! new discov]ies sugge/ t we mu/ insi/ equally ^u ! "r environm5t & mann] ( life be=e pregnancy beg9s4 ,?is br+s up a v int]e/+ "q ^u :i* biologi/s are n agre$4 ,does :at has j be5 said ab\t ! p]iod be=e pregnancy apply to ! fa!r z well z ! "m8 ,_m biologi/s d\bt :e!r we h any pro( t environm5tal influ5ce c weak5 ! sp]m cells ( ! male 9 su* a way t ! (fspr+ are !reby weak5$4 ,o!r biologi/s1 su* z ,pr(essor ,pe>l1 ( ,johns ,hopk9s ,univ]sity1 & ,pr(essor ,c4 ,a4 ,mills1 ( ,c9c9nati1 h made "s int]e/+ exp]im5ts :i* lead !m to believe t sp]m cells weak5$ by environm5tal conditions may affect ! vitality ( ! develop+ (fspr+4 ,9 %ort1 at ! pres5t "t !re is no agreem5t among compet5t sci5tific m5 t ! heal? & mode ( life ( ! fa!r1 z well z ( ! "m1 influ5ce ! physical well-be+ ( ! develop+ *ild1 & !reby affect its emotional /ability & o!r qualities4 ,until ?is "q is sci5tifically settl$ x is obvi\s t ! m5 be/ fitt$ = m>riage & p>5?ood are ^? :o act 9 su* a way t !y _c h>m _! *ildr5 no matt] :i* view is correct4 ,let u return once m to ! problem ( decid+ h[ f> ! m5tal & social *>act]i/ics ( ourselves & ( ! p]sons we are int]e/$ 9 are due to inh]itance & h[ f> to pre-natal & po/natal environm5t4 ,9 ! pres5t /ate ( k no exact decision is possible4 ,nev]!less1 9 "s families an undesirable trait is exhibit$ by a p>5t1 bro!rs or si/]s1 & p]haps by m di/ant relatives4 ,9 su* cases1 x is probably inh]it$1 or at lea/ due to an inh]it$ defici5cy or t5d5cy ( "s sort1 & !re is a *ance t x may be h&$ d[n to ! next g5]ation4 ,on ! o!r h&1 _m p]sons :o suff] f "s =m ( emotional in/ability come f families 9 :i* ! p>5ts & ne> relatives appe> normal 9 ?is respect4 ,9 su* cases x is probable t ! trait is n h]$it>y1 b due to "s influ5ce 9 pre-natal life or *ildhood4 ,until ! sci5ces ( human g5etics & eug5ics h made m progress1 ! safe/ way to judge 9 su* matt]s is by ! qualities ( a family z a :ole4 ,:e!r y h any d\bt ab\t ?is or n1 a ?or\gh exam9ation by a good physician :o is also a psy*iatri/ & a man ( f9e "* w be a great help4 ,! physician mu/ frame 8 judgm5ts = ! good n only ( ! individual :o consults him1 b ( ! prospective p>tn]1 & ( ! *ildr5 :o may be born to su* a c\ple4 ,ev5 ! be/ physician is (t5 unable to decide :e!r a giv5 defect is h]$it>y4 ,he c m]ely frame an op9ion bas$ on ! :ole family4 ,"y p f9d x h>d to believe t !y m>ry into families1 b !y d4 ,z ! old ,jewi% say+ puts x1 ,x is n good to m>ry a maid :o is ! only good maid 9 h] family4 ,! responsibility t ?us re/s on physicians is trem5d\s4 ,t ( ! "y p :o wi% to be m>ri$ is also great1 b v diff]5t4 ,!irs is to submit !mselves fully & frankly to ! physician's exam9ation & advice4 ,he may decide t x is safe to m>ry a p]son ( /able temp]am5t1 b n "o :o is n]v\sly un/able4 ,x mu/ always be rememb]$ t ev5 if ! physician has giv5 y a clean bill ( heal?1 y are /ill unfit = m>riage unless y are will+ to g m ?an halfway 9 adju/+ y\r life to 8 or h]s4 ,lov]s g5]ally feel sure t !y c d ?is1 b h y prov$ x 9 y\r treatm5t ( p>5ts1 bro!rs1 si/]s1 & fri5ds8 ,if y are free f transmissible disease & innate defects1 & if y are capable ( hav+ *ildr51 x is /ill unwise = y to m>ry unless y display good evid5ce ( ! qualities :i* make a happy home & insure ! "r tra9+ ( *ildr54 ,d>w9 once said t ! tr\ble ) mank9d is n lack ( ability1 b failure to use ! abilities t we possess4 ,ev5 if x is n wise = y to m>ry n[1 p]haps y c take y\rself by ! scruff ( ! neck & make y\rself fit4 ,if y are fit1 ! next "q is1 ,is x wise = me to m>ry8 ,= ! va/ majority ( p ! answ] is emphatically ,yes bo? = y\r own sake & t ( society z a :ole4 ,= mo/ p ! m>ri$ /ate is happi] & m useful ?an ! unm>ri$ /ate4 ,biologically ! two sexes are meant to live toge!r4 ,long exp]i5ce has prov$ t ! only p]man5tly happy way ( liv+ toge!r is z husb& & wife4 ,if ! m>riage is ( ! "r k9d1 bo? ! man & ! woman become happi]1 heal?i]1 m adaptable1 m int]e/$ 9 ! community1 &1 9 _m cases1 bett] work]s4 ,m>riage is unque/ionably "o ( ! be/ s*ools & "o ( ! be/ heal? resorts4 ,x (t5 has a wond]ful effect 9 /eady+ p's n]ves1 provid$ ! p>tn] is wise z well z lov+4 ,! probability t any giv5 m>riage is wise is greatly increas$ :]e ! two "y p h reasonably simil> ideals & habits & are suffici5tly intellig5t s t ea* c enjoy ! int]e/s ( ! o!r4 ,x is increas$ /ill m :5 bo? ! man & ! woman realize t m>riage is a comp>atively holl[ affair unless ent]$ into ) ! purpose ( hav+ a family4 ,few exp]i5ces h great] value ?an ! sacrifices :i* p>5ts mu/ make if !y are to create a real home4 ,! mak+ ( su* a home br+s out ! be/ t is 9 p4 ,h5ce f ! purely p]sonal /&po9t m>riage is a priceless advantage4 ,!re is a social z well z a p]sonal side to m>riage4 ,! un/able conditions ( ! pres5t c5tury h made "s p believe t ! family is a ?+ ( ! pa/1 b ?is is a mi/ake4 ,! family life ( ! future w be diff]5t f t ( ! pa/1 b ! f9e/ traits 9 x w /ill be ! same4 ,loyalty ( ea* to all & all to ea* is "o ( ! greate/ assets 9 ?is tumultu\s1 *ang+ _w4 ,9 times ( di/ress1 :e!r x is f9ancial or m5tal1 ! mo/ pitiable p]son is ! "o )\t family ties4 ,a family ( *ildr5 may be a h&icap at su* times1 b (t5 x is ! v ?+ t keeps p f failure4 ,moreov]1 9 adv]sity & old age a family gr\p ( loyal bro!rs & si/]s1 ev5 if ea* has sev]al *ildr51 gets along mu* bett] ?an does ! man or woman :o f5ds only = himself4 ,x pays to be m>ri$ & to be m>ri$ into a l>ge family4 ,let u turn back aga9 to ! "q ( :e!r family life is go+ to die out4 ,9 ! old days ( unre/rict$ families *ildr5 j came because x c\ldn't be help$4 ,today1 reg>dless ( race or religion1 intellig5t p limit _! families4 ,abundant /ati/ics make x cle> t ! size ( families has dropp$ greatly among all except two gr\ps4 ,"o is a l>ge gr\p ( less intellig5t1 isolat$1 %iftless1 or incompet5t p1 among :om families ( eight to fifte5 *ildr5 may /ill be f\nd4 ,! o!r is a small gr\p ( intellig5t1 high-m9d$1 well-e/abli%$1 well-to-d families ) _m relatives & ) a v assur$ position4 ,_! *ildr5 usually numb] f f\r to eight4 ,mo/ ( u belong to a huge int]v5+ gr\p 9 :i* ! av]age numb] ( *ildr51 includ+ ^? :o die "y1 is less ?an ?ree1 in/ead ( sev51 z 0 ! case a c5tury or two ago4 ,?is great middle gr\p is ! "o t w det]m9e :at k9d ( p live 9 ?is c\ntry 9 ! future4 ,well1 !n1 f :at "p ( ?is middle gr\p w mo/ ( ! *ildr5 ( ! future be d]iv$8 ,a little ari?metic w help u4 ,suppose we h two sets ( p>5ts1 numb]+ a ?\s& ea* & hav+ *ildr5 old en\gh to be m>ri$4 ,9 "o set ea* pair ( p>5ts has two *ildr52 9 ! o!r five4 ,! *ildr5 ( ea* set behave l _! p>5ts 9 ?is respect4 ,9 bo? sets #ae p]c5t ( ! *ildr5 die be=e rea*+ ! age ( m>riage1 & #aj p]c5t ( ^? :o gr[ up fail to m>ry4 ,^! are normal p]c5tages4 ,among ^? :o m>ry1 h[ev]1 #bj p]c5t ( ! two-*ild gr\p1 & only #aj p]c5t ( ! o!r set1 fail to h *ildr54 ,h[ _m p>5ts w !re be 9 ea* gr\p at ! end ( ?ree g5]ations8 ,if we make no all[ance = ! fact t m boys ?an girls are born1 !re w\ld be #acf p>5ts 9 ! two-*ild gr\p a c5tury h5ce1 & !y w\ld h #acf *ildr54 ,on ! o!r h&1 !re w\ld be #hgdd p>5ts & #ba1hfj *ildr5 9 ! five-*ild gr\p4 ,ov] a hundr$ & sixty times z _m6 ,n[ t we h done ! ari?metic1 :at does x mean8 ,( c\rse 9 actual life ! two-*ild & ! five-*ild gr\ps w int]m>ry4 ,& ev5 if ea* m>ries its own k9d1 ! numb] ( *ildr5 w fluctuate4 ,nev]!less1 !re is pl5ty ( evid5ce ( ?ree great t5d5cies4 ,fir/1 c]ta9 k9ds ( families t5d to be small or l>ge z ! case may be4 ,second1 ea* k9d t5ds to m>ry into its own k9d m (t5 ?an into ! o!r4 ,& f9ally1 p :o grew up 9 l>ge families g5]ally l l>ge families & want to h !m4 ,h5ce ! result ( ! pres5t limitation ( families mu/ be to make l>ge families & family life 9 g5]al m popul> 9 ! future ?an at pres5t4 ,?is is ! way x works 9 ! great middle gr\p to :i* mo/ ( u belong4 ,families ( f\r to six *ildr5 are f\nd ma9ly among p :o love *ildr5 & are will+ to make sacrifices 9 ord] to provide homes = !m4 ,s z long z our pres5t limitation ( families cont9ues1 ! *ildr5 ( ea* successive g5]ation w t5d 9 l>g] & l>g] numb]s to be ! desc5dants ( p :o believe 9 family life & are will+ to make sacrifices = x4 ,a few ( !m are disappo9t$ because _! *ildr5 d n turn out well1 b ! great majority feel well rew>d$4 ,ask p>5ts ( ?ree or m *ildr5 h[ !y feel ab\t x4 ,n9e out ( t5 w say t no?+ 9 _! lives has be5 wor? m ?an _! *ildr54 ,s long z p ( t k9d h *ildr51 & ^? ( ! o!r k9d fail to h *ildr51 family life w n die out4 ,x w become m & m ! great c5t] ( society4 ,x w *ange1 b ! *ange w be gr[?1 n decay4 ,n[ = ! ?ird "q1 ,is x my duty to m>ry8 ,future g5]ations may say t ! bett] y\r physique1 ! great] y\r beauty & /r5g?1 ! f9] y\r m9d1 ! m lovable y\r temp]am5t1 & ! m highly y are end[$ by nature & tra9+1 ! m c]ta9ly x is y\r duty to m>ry & h a family4 ,at pres5t1 h[ev]1 ! answ] to ,is x my duty to m>ry8 is v mu* l ! answ] to a "q :i* y might ask if y 7 a gue/ at a delightful summ] resort4 ,is x my duty to g swimm+1 play t5nis1 g ya*t+1 & h a good "t8 ,assum+ t y are physically fit1 x c]ta9ly is y\r duty if y\r pres5ce w cause y\r ho/s & ! re/ to enjoy !mselves4 ,b :y ask su* a silly "q8 ,y w d all ^? ?+s j because y want to4 ,y w\ld be an awful fool to pass up ! *ance ( hav+ all sorts ( fun :5 ev]y?+ is j "r = x4 ,& y w\ld be an awful fool to give up m>riage if ! conditions = t 7 equally favorable4 ,( c\rse !re is a v important p]sonal elem5t 9 all ?is4 ,"s m9or crudity 9 him or h]1 "s ideal div]se f y\rs1 "s un=tunate habit or t5d5cy1 may be m ?an y c adju/ y\rself to4 ,y alone c decide t4 ,all t we c d "h is po9t out :at ! m>riages & families ( ?\ghtful1 consci5ti\s p mean to ! _w4 ,! ess5ce ( ! :ole matt]1 z has be5 said a ?\s& times1 is ! extremely rapid fall ( ! bir?rate1 especially among intellig5t1 f>sight$1 indu/ri\s1 progressive p ^: ideals ( family life are high4 ,! majority ( ! "y p :o read ?is article probably belong to ?is class4 ,!re=e y repres5t a type ( family ^: loss or dim9ution is a v s]i\s matt]4 ,unless y\r type ( family av]ages m ?an ?ree *ildr51 ! c\ntry suff]s two great losses4 ,x suff]s ^! losses because "u ! pres5t conditions x takes m ?an ?ree *ildr5 p] family on an av]age to provide two :o become p>5ts & ?us replace _! fa!r & "m4 ,s unless y\r gr&p>5ts h at lea/ t5 gr&*ildr51 y\r family /ock is dy+ out1 & ! c\ntry is suff]+ two great losses4 ,"o loss is y\r good biological inh]itance4 ,?is does n mean t y are any?+ wond]ful4 ,x simply means t y belong to a gr\p :i* on ! :ole inh]its m ?an ! av]age capacity4 ,!re=e1 unless y h m ?an ?ree *ildr51 ! biological inh]itance ( ,am]ica w be l[]$4 ,! second great loss is cultural4 ,x is all v well to talk ab\t s5d+ e compet5t boy & girl to college1 & giv+ e "o ! fulle/ *ance to develop1 b ?is does n solve ! problem4 ,no o!r in/itution comes any:]e ne> ! home z a place 9 :i* to e/abli% ! ideals & habits t det]m9e :e!r our lives %all be a m]e fla% 9 ! pan or a fire t w>ms & *e]s4 ,! f9] ?+s ( life )] & die if !re are n en\gh *ildr5 9 ! families ( p :o "k h[ to make real homes4 ,if y came f su* a home1 & especially if y\r relatives also h su* homes1 y c make "o y\rself4 ,few ?+s are m ne$$ 9 ,am]ica today ?an j su* homes4 ,ought ,i to m>ry8 ,i wi% t e read] c\ld answ] 9 ! affirmative4 ,eleanor ,roosevelt ,,*apt] ,,f\r ,%\ld ,wives ,"w8 ,is x possible = a woman to m>ry & /ill h a c>e]8 ,?is "q has be5 ask$ ( me s _m times t ,i am glad at la/ to sit d[n & write "s ( ! ?+s :i* always come to my m9d4 ,to beg9 )1 ! "q is fooli%ly word$1 = !re are v few wom5 :o h c>e]s4 ,^? ) real c>e]s are a little gr\p by !mselves ne$+ sep>ate consid]ation4 ,mo/ wom5 m>ry & "w1 & ! "w w n be a c>e]4 ,! "q put ?is way also seems to imply t m>riage 9 itself is n a c>e]4 ,anyone :o believes t has no real und]/&+ ( m>riage4 ,!re is no g5]al answ] :i* any "o individual c give to ?is "q1 no matt] h[ x is word$1 = x is "o ( ^? que/ions t dep5ds = its answ] l>gely ^u ! individuals involv$1 bo? m5 & wom54 ,! "q %\ld really be phras$ 9 ?is way3 ,are y able to c>ry on two full-"t jobs8 ,h y ! physical /r5g? & ! m5tal vigor to d ?is day 9 & day out--p>ticul>ly :5 y are "y1 fir/ m>ri$1 adju/+ y\rself to a /rang]'s p]sonality1 & p]haps be>+ *ildr51 :i* is an add$ physical /ra98 ,i c he> y ask1 ,:y d y say1 'adju/+ y\rself to a /rang]'s p]sonality'8 ,! answ] is q simple3 no two p really "k ea* o!r until !y h be5 m>ri$ = "s "t1 & "o ( ! mo/ exact+ duties ( family life is ! adju/m5t ( ! v>i\s p]sonalities t make up ! family circle4 ,! "m adju/s h]self n only to h] husb&1 b to ea* ( h] *ildr5 & to ! o!r ne> relatives1 & %e tries to expla9 & to adju/ !m to "o ano!r4 ,x is n always an easy task4 ,m & m h\seholds are be+ manag$ by ! h\sewife alone1 p>ticul>ly among ! "y p4 ,t means pretty ne>ly con/ant att5tion to h\sehold tasks1 if a good job is to be done1 9 ! same way t x w\ld be done 9 an (fice or :]ev] ! woman might be employ$ = pay4 ,?is h\sekeep+ job c be z sci5tific & z engross+ z any (fice job1 or x may be a slip%od1 haphaz>d affair ) ev]y?+ at sixes & sev5s4 ,x all dep5ds ^u ! woman :e!r %e makes ?is side ( m>riage a c>e] or n4 ,!re is ano!r important aspect to ?is c>e]4 ,any woman :o means to make m>riage a successful c>e] w /udy h] husb&1 8 capabilities1 8 int]e/s1 ev5 8 peculi>ities4 ,%e %\ld "k ab\t 8 bus9ess & ab\t 8 pleasures4 ,x is possible = h] to be a great factor 9 8 success1 n by ?ru/+ h]self =w>d z an advisor1 b by und]/&+ s well 8 "* & 8 c>e] t %e c supplem5t 8 %ortcom+s1 br+ out ! be/ t is 9 him1 & exp& 8 int]e/s by add+ h] own4 ,?us %e c h a vic>i\s c>e] by virtue ( :at %e has put into h] husb&'s4 ,p]haps ! woman :o does ?is is ! happie/ & mo/ successful woman1 b %e has to h ! k9d ( temp]am5t t c d x & d x well1 & 9 addition ! circum/ances ( m>ri$ life h to make x possible4 ,we might z well face ! fact t today circum/ances are mak+ x m & m difficult = a woman to lead :at two g5]ations ago 0 consid]$ ! normal & natural life = any woman4 ,9 ^? days ev5 a woman :o did n m>ry tri$ to f9d a ni*e t %e c\ld fill 9 somebody's home4 ,a maid5 aunt or c\s9 (t5 took ! place ( a nurse or gov]ness or ev5 a hir$ s]vant & 0 look$ ^u ) pity1 & expect$ to "w e>ly & late = h] room & bo>d1 & to be z devot$ to ! *ildr5 ( ! family z ?\gh !y 7 h] own4 ,wom5 today w\ld n accept ?is situation s calmly1 & ! fact t !y c be & are l>gely self-support+ *anges _! economic condition4 ,x also *anges _! relation%ip to m5 & m>riage4 ,! economic situation is su* today t few "y p c m>ry at ! age :5 _! gr&p>5ts did4 ,_m "y p1 r ?an put (f _! m>riage indef9itely1 get m>ri$ ) ! realization t bo? ( !m w h to cont9ue work+ & t *ildr5 are out ( ! "q until !y h laid en\gh money aside or ! man has _h en\gh increase 9 sal>y to take c>e ( all ! family exp5ses4 ,?is is n a case ( :e!r y pref] m>riage or a c>e]4 ,x is a case ( m>riage & "w toge!r1 or no m>riage & "w alone4 ,"w mu/ g on 9 ei!r case4 ,= mo/ wom5 !re is some?+ s satisfy+ 9 creat+ a home t !y d x frequ5tly by !mselves4 ,x seems to fulfill a deep inn] ne$ to d ! little homely ?+s ( ev]yday liv+1 & ,i ?9k t is "o reason :y s _m "y p get m>ri$ & set up homes ( _! own long be=e _! f9ancial res\rces w>rant x4 ,if !y want to h *ildr5 z soon z !y are f9ancially e/abli%$1 !y usually d s1 b a crav+ = a home ( h] own is ! fir/ /irr+ ( maturity 9 a woman4 ,to _m wom51 h[ev]1 a home is n :olly satisfy+ unless %e is mak+ x = someone else1 & nature has made mo/ wom5 ye>n = a man to "m4 ,i "k "o "y c\ple :o 7 m>ri$ :5 ! boy 0 gett+ tw5ty-five doll>s a week & ! girl 0 gett+ ! same z a /5ograph]4 ,bo? ( !m w5t on work+4 ,ev]y?+ seem$ to be go+ v well1 & %e manag$ h] two jobs q successfully4 ,! mo/ successful "p ( x 0 ! fact t %e induc$ h] husb& to feel an equal responsibility = ! h\se4 ,i rememb] t :5 ,i d9$ ) !m1 he put on an apron aft] d9n] & help$ wa% ! di%es z naturally z if t 7 ! normal occupation = a man4 ,:5 a m>riage works out ?is way1 x is v successful1 especially if ! man has a knack = do+ ?+s ab\t ! h\se1 because x keeps him busy :5 8 wife is busy4 ,*ildr5 c be po/pon$ if two "y p h a home & a mate4 ,if a woman has to "w to h a home & husb&1 %e w d x happily1 b ,i d n ?9k t always means t %e longs to "w4 ,x is un=tunate t s (t5 %e is =c$ to = mat]ial security4 ,:]e circum/ances v]ge on pov]ty1 m>riage is ev5 m ( a c>e]1 = !n m dep5ds on ! woman's ability to manage4 ,( c\rse1 :5 x comes to ! mo!rs ( families :o "w 9 mills1 factories1 & /ores1 we "k q well t !re is no "q ( *oice--pov]ty drives !m1 & !y "w because !y h to1 & only a few w\ld hesitate if !y 7 (f]$ an opportunity to /ay at home & look aft] _! home & _! *ildr54 ,i rememb] visit+ a mill t[n once1 & z ! wom5 came (f ! night %ift--= !re 7 no laws at t "t 9 t p>ticul> /ate aga9/ wom5's work+ on night %ifts--!y met _! husb&s go+ to "w on ! day %ift4 ,we foll[$ "o woman home4 ,tir$ f ! h\rs 9 ! mill1 %e nev]!less _h to set to "w imm$iately to get ! *ildr5 f$ & (f to s*ool4 ,!n %e _h h] h\se to set to rights1 wa%+ & iron+ to d1 & d9n] to get = ! *ildr5 & supp] to be left = ! man :5 he came back f "w z %e w5t on4 ,9 ! aft]noon %e snat*$ a few h\rs ( sleep1 & ! *ildr5 :o 7 n 9 s*ool play$ unwat*$ & unc>$ =4 ,%e knew t h] home life 0 n satisfactory1 & %e did n "w long h\rs 9 ! mill because %e want$ to1 b simply because !re 0 n en\gh food to g ar\nd unless h] e>n+s supplem5t$ ^? ( h] husb&4 ,!re are wom51 h[ev]1 :o "w = ! love ( work+4 ,!y may love _! homes & _! *ildr5 & /ill crave ! satisfaction ( do+ a job !mselves4 ,sometimes x is j because !y love ! k9d ( "w !y d2 sometimes x is because !y mu/ h ! indep5d5ce :i* be+ able to e>n money gives !m4 ,i "k "o "y woman :o has manag$ to develop = h]self "w :i* %e c d 9 h] own home4 ,%e feels t h] *ildr5 ne$ h] at home1 & yet %e 0 v unhappy )\t "s outside int]e/s4 ,%e _h a musical tal5t :i* %e %>$ ) h] husb&1 & toge!r !y develop$ a unique project :i* involv$ rese>* & execution1 giv+ !m a jo9t int]e/ & all[+ h] to e>n a little extra money4 ,v occasionally x is possible = a man & a woman to "w toge!r & to h an ev5 clos] tie ?an !y w\ld h if ! woman rema9$ ! man's helpmate only 9 ! home4 ,! happ9ess ( husb& & wife is (t5 wreck$ by too little dep5d5ce on ea* o!r1 = to be happy two p mu/ ne$ ea* o!r 9 ev]y?+ !y d4 ,i c\ld tell y _m /ories ( "y p :o h drift$ ap>t p>tly because ! man 0 too absorb$ by 8 bus9ess & ! woman did n h en\gh to d4 ,"o /ory ,i rememb]1 h[ev]1 is a little diff]5t1 because x 0 a case 9 :i* bo? ! man & 8 wife _h int]e/s :i* 7 s div]g5t t nei!r ( !m took any pleasure 9 be+ ) ! o!r or 9 he>+ ab\t :at ! o!r 0 do+4 ,! man want$ to lead a r quiet life1 & ! woman 0 "y & pretty1 active-m9d$1 physically en]getic4 ,%e want$ to d some?+ :i* w\ld br+ 9 money & make x possible = h] to h "s ( ! luxuries & pleasures t %e covet$ & to :i* h] husb& 0 completely indiff]5t4 ,!y /uck to _! own int]e/s1 & :ile !y liv$ 9 ! same h\se & :ile !y _h *ildr5 & :ile !y 7 nev] sep>at$ 9 a =mal way1 !y c\ld n h be5 fur!r ap>t if !y _h liv$ at ! two poles4 ,i "q if ! *ildr5 ev] knew :at x 0 to feel a community ( int]e/s 9 t home4 ,x w\ld be well if m5 realiz$ ! ne$ t "s wom5 h = a little f9ancial indep5d5ce4 ,occasionally m>riage is wreck$ because ! woman feels t h] "w at home is z mu* a f9ancial contribution z is ! man's "w out 9 ! _w4 ,%e f9ds no recognition ( ?is 9 _! relation%ip or 9 _! environm5t & becomes m & m re/less & dissatisfi$4 ,i rememb] "o woman say+ r bitt]ly to me once t %e made m money by sav+ & good managem5t ?an h] husb& did1 b t he seem$ to ?9k ! g5]osity ( giv+ 0 all on 8 side1 =gett+ t %e gave h] /r5g? & h] "t4 ,! "w :i* %e did %e might h paid someone else to d2 & h] c>eful buy+ actually put 9 ! bank money :i* h] husb& c\ld use 9 8 bus9ess4 ,z a rule1 ! woman sp5ds ! major "p ( ! family income1 b if x is giv5 h] = ! h\se & %e has to resort to subt]fuge to get any p]sonal pocket money out ( x1 x is n a happy arrangem5t4 ,( c\rse1 :5 two p are plann+ toge!r e p5ny ( exp5diture1 ! case is diff]5t2 b :5 a man has any money :i* he calls 8 own1 a woman %\ld h "s also 9 recognition ( ! s]vices %e p]=ms = ! home4 ,%e is m apt to make h] h\sekeep+ a good job & to be happy 9 h] family relations4 ,9 _m cases a woman :o holds a job feels t %e is a bett] companion = h] husb& because %e has m individuality & comes to him m full ( diff]5t int]e/s :5 !y meet4 ,%e may n h ! k9d ( temp]am5t :i* makes x possible = h] to br+ up h] *ildr5 h]self4 ,%e may f9d t ev5 ) less "t to give !m1 %e c really d m = !m4 ,all ^! ?+s are subjects = ! individuals to consid] & decide toge!r4 ,:y d y "w8 ,i once ask$ a fri5d ( m9e :o seem$ v we>y4 ,%e smil$ & said3 ,i "w because ,i f\nd t :5 ,/eph5 came home at night1 ,i _h no?+ to talk to him ab\t4 ,he is out 9 ! _w & meets p & does ?+s4 ,i 0 9 a little backwat] & lo/ ! habit ( ?9k+ ab\t ! same ?+s t are on 8 m9d4 ,i _h to g back to "w to rega9 ! same atmosph]e & to be a companion4 ,b1 ,i said1 y h to pay "s "o to take c>e ( ! *ildr54 ,w\ldn't x be *eap] to d x y\rself8 ,f> *eap]1 %e said1 b ev5 ! *ildr5 are bett] (f4 ,n[1 :5 ,i come home1 ,i am full ( int]e/s ,i c %>e ) !m1 & ,i am n[h]e ne>ly s impati5t z ,i us$ to be :5 ,i answ]$ _! que/ions all day long & direct$ e m9ute ( _! lives4 ,i d n m9d n[ say+1 ',johnny1 wa% y\r h&s1' or1 ',s>a1 don't bite :5 y fight4' ,i h to d x only betwe5 #f & #h ,p4,m4 ,b if ,i d x f #f ,a4,m4 until #h ,p4,m41 _m a h>% ^w is spok51 & _m a ha/y ge/ure passes betwe5 u1 mu* to my regret aft]w>d4 ,"o ?+ is c]ta93 ,any woman :o decides to "w aft] %e is m>ri$ mu/ h good heal? & be a fairly well-discipl9$ p]son1 & h] life mu/ be sy/ematiz$ s t "o "p does n int]f]e ) ! o!r1 & ! man mu/ und]/& & sympa?ize ) h] int]e/s & desires4 ,! man's temp]am5t is z important z ! woman's1 = !re are m5 :o deeply res5t _! wives' do+ any "w & :o want to feel t _! home is entirely dep5d5t on _! own ef=ts4 ,!re are o!r m5 :o g ev5 beyond t & want to feel t ! woman :om !y h m>ri$ is dep5d5t ^u !m = all %e has 9 a mat]ial way1 =gett+ (t5 t _! m5tal & spiritual contacts c\nt also 9 any relation%ip4 ,!n aga9 !re are m5 :o1 if _! wives are self-suffici5t & capable1 w d exactly :at s _m wom5 are accus$ ( do+--become p>asites & will+ly all[ !mselves to be tak5 c>e ( 9 e way1 ev5 9 a mat]ial way4 ,i knew "o man ^: wife mo!r$ him until he completely lo/ 8 initiative4 ,he 0 sweet to h]1 b he really felt t life 0 made by h] & he _h to make no ef=t4 ,sudd5ly he met a woman :o 0 weak] & m cl++ ?an he 01 & %e awak5$ 9 him all 8 dormant *ivalr\s in/9cts4 ,he ask$ 8 wife = a divorce4 ,he m>ri$ ! weak] woman & became a /rong man4 ,! fir/ wife remade h] life1 :i* 0 n a/oni%+2 b he remade 81 :i* seem$ unbelievable4 ,all ! ?+s ,i h m5tion$ & "o m ent] into ?is "q ( :e!r a woman :o has ! ability to d a job outside ! home %\ld d x or n4 ,9 ! la/ few ye>s ,i h be5 gett+ _m lett]s f wom5 ^: husb&s h fall5 ill or di$ & left !m alone or ) dep5d5ts4 ,^? :o h _h no tra9+ are ! mo/ pa!tic1 b ^? :o once work$ & !n gave up altoge!r are 9 almo/ z difficult a position4 ,i d\bt t x is ev] wise = a woman :o has once _h a skill to all[ h]self to lose x entirely1 =1 grant+ t %e makes ( m>riage a c>e]1 !re may come a "t :5 %e w ne$ "w1 & !re w c]ta9ly come a "t :5 h] *ildr5 are gr[n4 ,if ! dem&s on h] "t are few] & %e is well1 %e may feel ! necessity ( tak+ up "s k9d ( regul> "w aga91 p>ticul>ly if 9 h] y\? %e 0 tra9$ to keep busy4 ,?is may n be a f9ancial necessity1 b m]ely some?+ to take ! place ( ! duties :i* 7 h]s :5 m>riage 0 h] only job4 ,9 my own exp]i5ce ,i h f\nd !re is "o o!r ?+ t may happ5 to a woman4 ,= "s reason %e may h to int]e/ h]self 9 ?+s t h seem$ to be m directly h] husb&'s int]e/s & 9 :i* %e nev] expect$ to take any p]sonal "p4 ,%e may f9d %e becomes int]e/$ = a v>iety ( reasons4 ,?is necessity ( develop+ int]e/s ( h] own :i* take h] out ( h] home w f9d h] bett] equipp$ if %e has once done a job = pay & kept on do+ x n[ & !n ?r\gh\t h] life s t %e is able to ma9ta9 a pr(essional attitude t[>d all "w1 bo? 9 h] home & out ( x4 ,!re are j a few wom5 :o h special gifts1 :o h e/abli%$ c>e]s be=e !y meet ! m5 !y wi% to m>ry4 ,if !y give up ^! c>e]s1 !y may f9d mu* ( ! savor ( life is remov$ :5 !y are n do+ some?+ :i* requires indep5d5t ?\ght & initiative4 ,^! are ! wom5 :o g to "w because !y are consci\s ( a capacity )9 !mselves :i* _c be d5i$1 & !y %\ld m>ry only m5 :o und]/& ?is & are will+ to make "s compromises4 ,x c be done v happily1 b x dep5ds on bo? ! man & ! woman 9 ea* case4 ,^! c>e] wom5 d a job = ! love ( x4 ,!y may be s gift$ t !y c cope successfully ) h\sehold affairs f ! adm9i/rative po9t ( view4 ,!y may n be int]e/$ 9 do+ any ( ! homely ?+s ( life4 ,!y may be q helpless at home & ne$ someone else to cope ) h\sehold measures4 ,= !m x is probably impossible to settle d[n to a homemak]'s c>e] & wat* ov] somebody else's c>e] & developm5t & a*ievem5t4 ,!y are =tunate if !y m>ry ! "r m56 ,! wom5 :o ,i feel %\ld und\bt$ly h outside occupation1 h[ev]1 are ! wom5 ^: homes are tak5 c>e ( by compet5t h&s & feet o!r ?an _! own1 :o ) ord9>y capacity = managem5t c give ! necess>y ord]s 9 fifte5 m9utes e morn+ & h ! re/ ( ! day 9 :i* to d no?+4 ,^! wom5 might z well d some?+ ev5 if !y h no special gifts1 = z idl]s !y encumb] ! e>?4 ,!y are n do+ ?+s at home t keep wom5 busy & happy4 ,i ?9k any "y c\ple is =tunate :5 ! woman has to d ev]y?+ ab\t ! h\se & does x happily1 b 9 view ( all ! diff]5t angles t ?is problem pres5ts1 ,i w\ld give no advice1 only urge "y p to ?9k ov] :at !y want out ( life v c>efully :5 !y are mak+ ! decision ( h[ !y w />t _! life toge!r4 ,gladys ,hoagl& ,groves ,,*apt] ,,five ,le>n+ to ,live ,toge!r ,! w$d+ %uts "o gate & op5s ano!r4 ,! long+s & dream+s ( c\rt%ip are at an end4 ,! supreme intimacy ( life beg9s4 ,z ,john & ,m>y move away f ! alt>1 pron\nc$ man & wife1 !y "k !y are />t+ a great adv5ture4 ,8 beam+ face masks a /iff det]m9ation to keep 8 bride happy 9 spite ( any worldly ob/acles4 ,h] radiance hides a solemn inw>d v[ to d ev]y?+ humanly possible to make smoo? ! way ( _! life toge!r4 ,!y are "r4 ,unless !y are v diff]5t f mo/ p1 ?is new jo9t ent]prise is go+ to mean m to ea* ( !m ?an any?+ else ev] c4 ,be=e !m is a cle> road4 ,n to happ9ess1 z !y may believe1 b to ! opportunity = ga9+ happ9ess4 ,! goal is n easily won1 b !y c atta9 x )\t ! aid ( luck or r>e gifts or miracles--simply by practic+ ! common ev]yday virtues t br+ success 9 all human v5tures4 ,a "y c\ple's engagem5t p]iod is l any o!r "t ( excit$ anticipation1 :5 "o has receiv$ ! promise ( some?+ greatly desir$1 b mu/ wait a:ile be=e its deliv]y4 ,! happ9ess ( ! wait+ p]iod is *>act]iz$ by ! abs5ce ( a critical _s1 & !re=e is apt to be ?\ght ( z an exp]i5ce ( pure delight4 ,b ! fir/ days ( m>riage br+ out a diff]5t set ( feel+s--^? t come :5 "o has def9itely obta9$ possession ( any?+ t be=e 0 only promis$4 ,at fir/ ! emotions seem to /& /ill--?is is ! long-covet$ mom5t6 ,!n "o beg9s to appraise4 ,is ! object ( "o's wi%es z desirable z "o _h expect$8 ,because reality r>ely measures up to imag9ation1 ! fir/ answ] is almo/ b\nd to be1 ,no1 ?is is n :at ,i expect$4 ,& ! fir/ emotion t5ds to be disappo9tm5t4 ,if "o accepts ! fact t discrepancy betwe5 imag9ation & reality is inevitable1 he is bett] able to g on to a m ?or\gh exam9ation ( ! situation1 f ! fre% viewpo9t ( f9d+ out j :at he has receiv$1 reg>dless ( hazy b optimi/ic expectations2 & ! object possess$ w m ?an likely turn out to be bett] ?an1 al?\gh diff]5t f1 :at ! imag9ation pictur$4 ,kn[+ t a fleet+ s5se ( disappo9tm5t is n peculi> to "o's own m>riage1 b likely to occur 9 all1 z 9 e o!r human und]tak+1 takes away its p[] to hurt4 ,unworri$ by any fe> ( calamity1 ea* m>riage p>tn] c turn to acc\nt 8 or h] p[]s ( disc]nm5t by le>n+ to recognize ! assets z well z ! liabilities ( ! p>tn]%ip4 ,r\ghly1 bo? ! helps & ! h9drances to m>ri$ happ9ess c be lump$ "u "o ^w--p]sonalities4 ,temp]am5t1 mann]isms1 ta/es--all t is impli$ 9 ! di/9ct individuality ( ea* p]son--make up ! *ief s\rce ( ! advantages & disadvantages ) :i* ! c\ple ent] m>riage4 ,^! traits _c be *ang$ ov]night4 ,nor is x necess>y1 or at all wise1 t !y %\ld be4 ,john attracts ,m>y1 & %e appeals to him1 because ! p]sonality ( ea* "o is :at x is4 ,love has gr[n up betwe5 ! two z a result ( ?is p]sonality attraction4 ,& love is ! motive t w make bo? try to keep op5 ! pa?way to m>riage success4 ,b love is n a f9i%$ product t1 once x comes1 c =ev] aft] be tru/$ to keep its /r5g?4 ,l ev]y?+ else t is alive1 x mu/ be kept gr[+ ?r\gh ex]cise1 or x wa/es away4 ,love gives ! pu% t keeps a m>riage mov+1 b x does n give ! direction4 ,t comes f und]/&+ & coop]ation4 ,al?\gh ,john & ,m>y love ea* o!r z fev]i%ly z any o!r c\ple at fir/1 if _! lov$ is self-c5t]$ & +r[n1 x w ev5tually turn to hate1 or we> ?9 & give way to indiff]5ce4 ,?is is :at !y mu/ gu>d aga9/4 ,:ile love is /ill ! mov+ =ce ( _! lives1 !y mu/ /udy ! problems t are due to come4 ,to wait until !y are beset by !m is to beg = tr\ble4 ,9 ord] to cope ) _! problems !y mu/ realize1 fir/1 t !y _c /umble ^u m>ri$ happ9ess2 t !y mu/ possess & cultivate a positive w to succe$4 ,!n !y mu/ und]/& t ! w is 9 itself n en\gh2 x mu/ be c\pl$ ) a will+ness to "w1 & "w h>d1 = ! happ9ess t c be ! greate/ bless+ ( _! lives4 ,& f9ally1 !y mu/ "k :at con/itutes a happy m>riage--:at to aim = 9 _! day-to-day association4 ,:at makes a successful m>riage8 ,"h are n9e guidepo/s to help ,john & ,m>y along _! road3 #a4 ,! fir/ requirem5t is ! build+ ( a union t is j to bo?4 ,! small] issues on :i* ?is re/s are ! lively cla%es ( opposite desires1 inevitable 9 ! com+ toge!r ( any two p]sons1 int5sifi$ :5 ^? two p]sons are z diff]5t z a man & a woman1 & unavoidable = two committ$ to a lifetime toge!r 9 ! close qu>t]s ( m>riage4 #b4 ,compromise w lift ^! ess5tially petty decisions ( prec$5ce above ! level ( selfi%ness4 ,decisions mu/ be made on ! basis ( :at is good = bo?1 n ! selfi% or n>r[ wi% ( ei!r4 ,! *oice t br+s ! l>g] advantage to ! two p]sons 9 _! common role ( m>riage p>tn]s is ! "o to be made4 ,human judgm5t be+ z faulty z x is1 "t may %[ t any "o decision has be5 an error1 b !re c be no ill w ab\t x if ea* feels t an hone/ ef=t 0 made to be fair4 ,= example1 ,m>y wants to buy a c>1 j z ,john is reckon+ t ! "t has come to build a h\se4 ,or p]haps he wants to inve/ money 9 pr(essional or bus9ess advancem5t at ! precise mom5t :5 %e realizes %e wants a *ild4 ,9 ei!r situation1 ! p>ticul> c\ple involv$ h to weigh delicately ! effect on _! jo9t ent]prise ( ! conflict+ c\rses ( action4 ,mu* z ,m>y may crave a *ild or a c>1 %e might n be able to enjoy ei!r if %e got x1 unless ,john 7 ready to %>e 9 h] delight4 ,nor c\ld he1 ov]rul+ h] aga9/ h] w1 f9d 9 8 *oice ( home-own+ or p]sonal-c>e] inve/m5t ! satisfaction he _h expect$4 ,!y two1 & nobody else1 c make ! decision to fit _! m>riage4 ,read9ess to try to imag9e ! p>tn]'s po9t ( view has to be supplem5t$ by calmness 9 consid]+ ! probable effect ( ei!r c\rse on bo? p]sons4 ,if ea* "o is hurt at ! o!r's inability to jo9 in/antly 9 81 or h]1 plans1 !y w ne$ to take pa9s n to get sidetrack$ into mak+ a p]sonal conte/ ( ! affair4 ,try+ to w9 ov] y\r p>tn] ) a s+le eye to gett+ :at y want1 reg>dless ( its effect on ! mate1 is %ort-sight$ 9 ! extreme4 ,ev5 if y c\ld c>e only = p]sonal pleasure1 t _c long outla/ y\r sp\se's displeasure4 ,/ag+ a conte/ or a succession ( small conte/s1 = ! sake ( f9d+ out :o is boss builds up a habit ( fight+ t may lead to a bitt] end4 ,x is useless to discov] :o c w9 9 any p>ticul> skirmi%4 ,:at is important is to le>n :e!r "o ( y is set on be+ head ( ! h\se4 ,if y\r sp\se craves t di/9ction1 by all means h& x ov] )\t delay4 ,x is an empty honor1 = ! "o :o b5ds b does n break w readily develop ! f9e art ( influ5c+ ! head/rong "o4 ,because x is "p ( ! traditional fem99e "* to enjoy giv+ 9 to ! man1 ?is t5d5cy mu/ be scrut9iz$ :5 x appe>s4 ,no man c af=d to be crippl$ = life by lett+ 8 wife swaddle him ) solicitude z "s mo!rs spoil _! *ildr5 = _! own glorification4 ,a woman's feel+ t %e w be emotionally gratifi$ by mak+ a sacrifice does n prove t1 aside f h] mom5t>y pleasure1 !re is any value 9 x4 ,! ease or difficulty ) :i* husb& or wife makes an adju/m5t 9 no way measures ! wor? ( t adju/m5t = _! p>tn]%ip4 ,because ( wom5's rec5t gr[? 9 socially recogniz$ indep5d5ce1 any individual woman may wav] betwe5 a crav+ = self-sacrifice & a repugnance to ! v ?\ght ( x4 ,?is *angeabl5ess c make h] feel res5tful aft] %e has giv5 9 to h] husb&4 ,all ?is mu/ be tak5 into acc\nt 9 mak+ decisions4 ,compromise1 n submission1 %\ld be ! rule4 ,if ,john =ges ahead on "o c\nt1 ,m>y mu/ f9d an acceptable outlet = h]self on "s o!r front4 #c4 ,respect = ! o!r memb] ( ! m>riage association is a mu/-h4 ,no dem& %\ld be laid ^u ! mate t requires a dra/ic *ange ( p]sonality4 ,nobody c sudd5ly *ange 8 p]sonality at w1 & ! ef=t to d s to please ! p>tn] is liable to result 9 a topheavy hypocrisy--a sup]/ructure calculat$ to impress ! obs]v]1 b built on a %aky f\ndation ( *aos4 ,! *anges a husb& or wife makes 9 ! p>tn]'s total p]sonality are 9 ! nature ( alt]$ emphasis 9 ! expression ( traits already pres5t4 ,^! m9or *anges occur z by-products ( active response to ! p]sonality ( ! mate 9 _m small daily contacts1 & n z a result ( exhortation4 ,nor are !y necess>ily p]man5t4 ,a *ameleon *anges color easily to mat* its environm5t or temp] ( ! mom5t1 b a human be+'s m la/+ *ange is n s readily made4 ,ea* m>riage p>tn] mu/ be pr\d ( ! o!r & let ! o!r cont9ue to be pr\d ( him or h]4 ,!re=e y h to respect y\rself & act z if y did1 ev5 at home4 ,too _m c\ples exploit ! s5se ( let-d[n t m>riage br+s ) x4 ,aft] s long a "t1 husb& & wife cease to feel t !y mu/ ex]t !mselves = ea* o!r 9 little matt]s4 ,kn[+ !mselves accept$1 !y l\nge--m5tally1 mann]ly1 & physically--:5 at home or else:]e alone toge!r4 ,"s ( ?is relaxation is a good ?+1 b x is a mi/ake to let home & sp\se deg5]ate into no?+ m ?an an invitation to be lazy4 ,us+ ! mate = relief1 z 9 nagg+1 :9+1 cry+1 or grumbl+1 is taboo4 ,if y are tir$ or irritable1 y c re/ or ex]cise = re/oration1 z 9 ! days be=e m>riage4 ,to p\r out tr\bles or act out annoyance )\t re/ra9t be=e ! mate is to we> out 8 or h] spontaneity & dry up ! s\rce ( refre%m5t y are try+ to tap4 ,fatigue & n]v\sness1 express$1 bre$ fatigue & n]v\sness 9 a sympa!tic audi5ce4 #d4 ,too great conc5tration is to be avoid$4 ,ev5 ! greate/ love /agnates if x is kept out ( ! ma9 curr5t ( life4 ,to c>e only = ea* o!r is selfi%ness = two1 only "o /ep remov$ f self-c5t]$ engrossm5t4 ,?is is :y ! unique value ( *ildr5 is _! s]vice z an ent]+ w$ge 9 ! close-gr[n love ( husb& & wife1 a w$ge t wid5s & holds =ev] wid] ! unity ( love x has p5etrat$4 ,o!r responsibilities1 o!r int]e/s1 may s]ve a simil> purpose1 ?\gh m easily dislodg$ & seldom /rik+ s deep4 ,fri5ds1 old & new1 h a function 9 reliev+ ! ov]close conc]n ( "o m>riage p>tn] ) ! o!r4 ,if !y are to play _! full "p 9 prev5t+ ov]conc5tration1 ! fri5ds mu/ n be limit$ to ^? :o appeal equally to bo? ! husb& & ! wife4 ,common fri5ds are f9e1 b = ?is purpose !re is special ne$ ( fri5ds = ei!r sp\se :o c call =? ^? sides ( 8 or h] nature t are n ar\s$ by ! mate4 ,a brilliant man may be bor$ by 8 wife's sl[]-?9k+ wom5 fri5ds1 b ^! may be j :at %e ne$s z a relief f ! high-pressure intellectual life %e is lead+ ) him4 ,a /yli% woman may be appall$ at ! sl\*y appe>ance ( "s ( h] husb&'s cronies1 :o are a necess>y balance :eel = him 9 ! /r5u\s gyrations he goes ?r\gh to keep ! s>torial pace %e sets4 ,! factor t und]lies all ! p]plexities1 & mo/ ( ! cont5tm5t1 ( m>riage is its unique degree ( conc5trat$ intimacy4 ,"h ! supreme te/+ always comes4 ,ea* means s mu* to ! o!r1 ea* ne$s s mu* f ! o!r1 t !re c be no halfway satisfaction 9 be+ toge!r4 ,b !re w come a fir/ "t :5 ,john is too tir$ to g out ) ,m>y1 or vice v]sa4 ,d n ?9k ( x z a bl[2 d n believe he or %e is imply+ ,i d n want to g out ) y because ,i am gett+ tir$ ( y4 ,y mu/ realize t x is important to h "s privacy ( "t1 if n ( space4 ,! wife may be alone "p ( ! day & pr(it by x4 ,:5 ,john comes home at night1 he has n _h t privilege4 ,8 ne$ = privacy mu/ be appreciat$1 :e!r he wants to get x by /ay+ at home alone 9 ! ev5+1 or by go+ out )\t 8 wife1 or by hav+ 8 fri5ds 9 :5 %e is n ar\nd4 #e4 ,! g5]al level ( emotion is :at c\nts1 n ! spectacul> scal+ ( peaks4 ,/ak+ all on high mom5ts is melodrama ) no comic relief4 ,"s husb&s1 "s wives1 are arti/s at a*iev+ & mom5t>ily liv+ up to romantic sett+s1 b quickly flop d[n to ! l[] levels ( dec5t fairness betwe5 ! high spots ( _! s5tim5tal fl>e-ups4 ,o!rs _c utt] a poetic phrase1 make a romantic ge/ure1 or let _! eyes %[ ! quick int5sity ( _! t5d] emotions if !y mu/ die = x4 ,?is diff]5ce is "o ( make-up & tra9+1 n ( m>riage capacity4 ,! c\ple :o are sure ( ea* o!r's /eady affection1 reg>dless ( its expression 9 romantic int]ludes1 are ! ones :o c af=d to smile at ! anxiety ( ^? newly m>ri$ husb&s & wives :o are t]ror-/rick5 at any less5+ ( ! outw>d expressions ( love4 ,ano!r t]rible mom5t t is due to come may seem ev5 m fright5+ because x is y :o are slipp+4 ,soon or late y f9d t "s famili> mann]ism ( y\r sp\se displeases y4 ,x may be a slight unc\?ness at table1 a peculi> back-c\ntry phrase or pronunciation1 "s ge/ure ( timidity or swagg]+4 ,once y lov$ x z a "p ( ! individuality ( ! p]son y fell 9 love )4 ,n[ x vexes y4 ,& y\r vexation t]rifies y4 ,does ?is mean t y no long] love y\r mate z y did8 ,y _c help y\r *ange ( feel+4 ,h[1 !n1 c y hope to keep y\r affection f disappe>+ altoge!r if x has already begun to wane8 ,y rememb] o!r p y once ?\ght y lov$1 & wond]1 panic-/rick51 h[ y c keep ?is love f dy+ z ^? o!r loves did4 ,?is is probably an almo/ univ]sal exp]i5ce1 m>k+1 n ! beg9n+ ( ! end ( love1 b ! passage f an adolesc5t type ( bl9d devotion to a m mature affection t p]si/s 9 spite ( be+ able to admit ! flaws x sees4 ,= ! v "y a p]son mu/ regi/] "o hundr$ p]c5t or be reject$4 ,maturity br+s recognition ( human imp]fections 9 ! mo/ h]oic1 b also develops ! ability to weigh big & little ?+s & to love ) m confid5ce because unafraid ( be+ di/urb$ by little imp]fections4 ,n[ t y c see y\r mate m cle>ly1 y %\ld also be able to see m accurately 81 or h]1 good po9ts1 :i* be=e 7 hidd5 f y 9 ! mi/ ( y\r en?usiasm4 ,y\r love is n[ becom+ less self-c5t]$ & m helpful to y\r p>tn]4 #f4 ,!re c be no hold+ on to ! pres5t nor seek+ to br+ back ! pa/4 ,ea* mom5t is new & good 9 itself4 ,! tale is nev] told4 ,always x is ! unturn$ page ! holds ! answ] to ! "q1 ,h[ goes x ) ?is m>riage8 ,! pres5t is useful only z a f\ndation /one = ! future1 :i* is be+ built up out ( _m fleet+ pres5t mom5ts1 ea* quickly lo/ 9 ! pa/4 ,try+ to conv9ce y\rself t y /ill feel a k9d ( love y h outliv$ prev5ts y\r gr[+ into ! m mature k9d ( love t fits y\r pres5t /ature & prep>es = ! ne$s ( ! future4 ,attempt+ to hold ! p>tn] to a simil> /atic expression ( love hamp]s ! gr[? 9 him or h] ( an exp&+ reality ( love4 #g4 ,!re c be no n>r[+ ( m>riage to m]e sex adju/m5t4 ,:at is ess5tial is life adju/m5t1 ( :i* sex is b a "p4 ,to int]pret ! m>riage association z little m ?an sex is to ?r[ away all *ance ( success1 ev5 9 ! realm ( sex4 ,! two lives h to be adju/$ to ea* o!r1 & ! two p]sons h to "w out a common life t means some?+ to !m ov] & above ! pleasure !y may take 9 ea* o!r's company4 ,z a cont9u+ "p ( ?is life adju/m5t1 sex adju/m5t c develop into a p]man5t factor ( m>ri$ happ9ess2 b )\t ! l>g] adju/m5t1 ! p>tial adju/m5t _c be made 9 any fundam5tal & endur+ =m4 ,9 ! sex life 9 m>riage1 z 9 o!r p>ts ( ! association1 ea* p>tn] w9s by consid]+ ! o!r be=e ! self4 ,s9ce m>riage gr[s by envelop+1 r ?an by be+ envelop$ by1 any "o elem5t1 e "p ( ! m>ri$ life mu/ receive ! same pa9/ak+ att5tion4 ,at no po9t c ! dom9ation ( ei!r p>tn] ov] ! o!r take ! place ( adju/m5t4 #h4 ,!re mu/ be no cultivation ( s5sitiv5ess1 no look+ = hurt1 b in/ead a complete tru/ 9 ea* o!r4 ,"o :o prides himself or h]self on hav+ to be h&l$ ) gloves has a great deal ( gr[+ up to d 9 ord] to be able to be an active p>tn] 9 ! m>riage4 ,cry-baby+ is no m helpful 9 m>riage ?an 9 bus9ess or social life2 x is only m easily indulg$ 91 m tempt+ because ( ! sympa!tic response x is likely at fir/ to receive4 ,9 ! heal?y m>riage1 ?is sympa!tic response w soon give way to ang]1 :i* 9 turn may h ! effect ( a da% ( cold wat] 9 ! face ( ! ov]s5sitive "o1 help+ him or h] to buck up & behave l an adult4 ,9 ! unheal?y m>riage1 sympa?y w gr[ into pity1 :i* drives out ! indisp5sable attitude ( respect4 ,! p]son :o has ! backbone to try to play ! "p ( a mature be+ w realize t gett+ hurt 9 any human association is a two-edg$ affair4 ,bo? get hurt1 b ! weak p]son does no?+ b squeal ab\t x1 :ile ! robu/ ignores x except = try+ to take "s con/ructive /ep to prev5t future occasions = hurt4 ,! m>riage p>tn] :o is mature w ma9ta9 tru/ 9 ! o!r's good int5tions 9 ! face ( :at might seem to be occasions = hurt feel+s4 ,a *ief advantage ( ! m>ri$ e/ate is its opportunity = frankness4 ,:y doesn't 8 wife tell him ( t unpleasant mann]ism1 s he c correct x8 be>s witness to ! univ]sal appreciation ( ?is function ( m>ri$ life4 ,b if ,john nurses hurt feel+s :5ev] ,m>y punctures 8 vanity by sugge/+ t he pres5ts to ! _w a less ?an p]fect front1 ,m>y may soon lose c\rage & rel9qui% h] wifely job ( husb& improvem5t4 ,or ! comb9ation may be rev]s$4 ,frankness mu/ g clo!d 9 tact4 ,/iff-m9d$ p :o are frank only :5 angry lose _! case be=e !y pres5t x4 ,if ! expression ( ang] is to h its prop] /imulative effect1 x has to be adm9i/]$ b r>ely1 & !n 9 small doses4 ,m has a p>alyz+ effect on ! recipi5t1 produc+ a response 9 k9d t takes away ! ability to ?9k ( any?+ except retaliation4 #i4 ,will+ness to gr[ is ! mo/ necess>y factor = success4 ,m>riage is a life program ( go+ on toge!r t requires maturity2 failure means t !re is a hold+ on to *ildi%ness4 ,we are all immature at "s po9ts1 b we c welcome opportunities = gr[?1 pa9ful ?\gh !y may be4 ,! man & woman :o f9d _! m>riage yield+ dim9i%+ returns may be sure !y are attempt+ to hold x to an adolesc5t level4 ,z ?is is an impossibility1 !y are aw>e ( increas+ dissatisfaction4 ,t does n mean !y are unadapt$ to ea* o!r4 ,!y are afraid to leave ! kn[n pleasures ( _! fir/ y\? = ! unguess$ satisfactions ( maturity1 s !y try to /& /ill1 hop+ to keep _! m>riage1 un*ang$1 9 its fir/ /age ( promise4 ,if bo? husb& & wife accept matur+ responsibilities z !y come1 _! m>riage relation%ip w keep pace ) _! own developm5t & w !re=e become increas+ly satisfy+ to !m4 ,a truly mature c\ple d n look back ) long+ to ! e>ly "p ( _! m>ri$ life1 b appreciate its value z a phase t l$ up to ! deep] cont5t ( ea* succe$+ phase4 ,hav+ inve/$ ye>s1 _! y\? & hopes1 9 _! m>riage1 x w\ld be poor bus9ess = any c\ple to fail to foll[ up _! initial inve/m5t by putt+ 9 su* small regul> am\nts ( ?\ght & ef=t z w make a g ( x4 ,! diff]5ce betwe5 success & failure is ! hairl9e diff]5ce betwe5 c>+ & ceas+ to c>e = "o's inve/m5t4 ,m>ri$ life is s]i\s bus9ess1 z liv+ always is1 b x is easi] & at ! same "t m rew>d+ ?an s+le life4 ,to be human is to be lonely4 ,to be successfully m>ri$ is to h an inn] bulw>k aga9/ lonel9ess4 ,elizabe? ,buss+ ,,*apt] ,,six ,m>riage ,makes ! ,money ,g ,& !y liv$ happily ev] aft]6 ,! romance 9 ! old /orybook always end$ blissfully 9 m>riage4 ,! valiant ,pr9ce ,*>m+ slew dragons1 vanqui%$ giants1 & wor/$ sorc]]s2 b once he _h atta9$ ! fair lady ( 8 dreams1 he left all 8 worries beh9d him4 ,today1 h[ev]1 ,pr9ce ,*>m+1 unless he is an incurable romantici/1 realizes t ! real /ruggle beg9s only aft] m>riage4 ,n[ t y h won ! fair lady h[ are y go+ to support h]8 is ! "q he mu/ solve satisfactorily be=e he c qualify z a suitable husb&4 ,! answ] is det]m9$ by two factors3 ,h[ mu* money is e>n$8 ,h[ c t sum be sp5t mo/ effici5tly8 ,! fir/ qu]y is quickly dispos$ (4 ,! second1 h[ev]1 requires c>eful ?\ght & plann+4 ,its solution is up to bo? ! husb& & ! wife1 = ea* c\ple mu/ "w out _! individual problem4 ,we wi% we c\ld d x = !m1 b we c't4 ,at be/ we c only give ! rules :i* we h evolv$ z ! result ( our own exp]i5ce4 ,! fir/ /ep 9 ! art ( ord]ly sp5d+ is ! prep>ation ( an adequate budget4 ,?is is n s =midable z x seems1 = ! budget is no?+ m ?an an inv5tory ( res\rces & a calculation ( ne$s t w help y develop a s*$ule ( sp5d+ :i* %\ld be fair to bo? y & y\r p>tn]4 ,x w diff] 9 detail = ea* c\ple1 because no matt] h[ simil> circum/ances may seem to be1 s5ses ( values w v>y4 ,at ! />t1 h[ev]1 x is well to keep an itemiz$ acc\nt ( exp5ditures to aid 9 adju/+ y\r budget to actual ne$s & to le>n j h[ mu* y are sp5d+ = ea* item4 ,y may f9d t y h be5 pay+ m = "s ?+s ?an y ?\ght y 74 ,once y h settl$ on ! approximate am\nt to be allott$ to ea* purpose1 h[ev]1 y probably w f9d t keep+ a writt5 record ( e pur*ase is m ( a nuisance ?an a help4 ,x may help y to plan y\r budget if y /udy "s ( ! model e/imates publi%$ f "t to "t by sav+s banks1 life-insurance companies1 & o!r f9ancial organizations4 ,y :o are j plann+ to be m>ri$1 h[ev]1 w f9d t ^! /atem5ts are compil$ usually = families ) two or ?ree *ildr54 ,at be/ !y w only r\ghly approximate y\r special problems4 ,let u consid] ! situation fac$ by a "y c\ple j />t+ out 9 m>ri$ life4 ,g5]ally speak+1 if y live 9 a big city & y\r income is ab\t #ajj a mon?1 y w pay ab\t #ce to ! l&lord4 ,r5ts1 un=tunately1 are disproportionately high 9 ! l>ge/ urban c5t]s1 = p]sons ( limit$ means4 ,9 small] communities1 y und\bt$ly w f9d qu>t]s = some:at less4 ,y\r food1 at ! pres5t price level1 w co/ at lea/ #be a mon? = an adequate diet--& ?is assumes extremely intellig5t & c>eful buy+4 ,transportation to & f "w = "o p]son w co/ n less ?an #b4ej a mon?4 ,total transportation co/s = bo? ( y--if only "o works--w be betwe5 #c & #d4 ,n m ?an #aj a mon? %\ld be sp5t = clo!s1 & at lea/ #f mu/ be set aside = insurance & sav+s4 ,?is leaves r\ghly #bj a mon? = all o!r exp5ses4 ,x is n easy = two to live on #ajj a mon?--b x is be+ done4 ,:ile x is n true t two c live z *eaply z "o1 two p]sons :o are 9 love may live m happily if !y m>ry & bo? cont9ue to "w ?an if !y und]go ! /ra9 ( a long engagem5t4 ,?is problem1 h[ev]1 mu/ be work$ out ) ref]5ce to ! p>ticul> case1 =1 z po9t$ out 9 an e>li] article 9 ?is s]ies1 x is m difficult = a man to get a foo?old 9 c]ta9 pr(essions if he m>ries be=e 8 appr5tice%ip is complete4 ,x seems obvi\s t if y are w$ be=e ! man f9i%es 8 pr(essional prep>ation1 y w n wi% to h *ildr5 = ! "t be+ & t ! wife w cont9ue to support h]self4 ,i h se5 _m complications caus$ by ! arrival ( *ildr5 be=e ! husb& _h complet$ 8 pr(essional tra9+4 ,"o "y c\ple ,i knew 7 gett+ along v smoo?ly :ile ! wife 0 work+ & h] husb& 0 sp5d+ 8 la/ ye> 9 m$ical s*ool4 ,! arrival ( a baby made x necess>y = h] to quit h] job4 ,?is1 9 turn1 made x imp]ative = ! man to e>n a livelihood4 ,he took a position 9 a dep>tm5t /ore :]e today--t5 ye>s lat]--he is /ill a junior employee4 ,by n[1 9 ! ord9>y c\rse ( ev5ts1 he might h be5 e/abli%$ 9 ! pr(ession = :i* he 0 /udy+4 ,all "y c\ples1 =tunately1 d n enc\nt] su* trag$ies4 ,if y\r income is ar\nd #bjjj a ye>1 y\r f9ancial position is relatively m secure4 ,y may f9d a suitable ap>tm5t 9 a l>ge city = betwe5 #ej & #fj a mon?--includ+ heat & hot wat]4 ,! r5t 9 a small] community w be less1 b rememb] t if y furni% y\r own heat & hot wat]1 y mu/ add ! co/ ( fuel4 ,if1 to save money1 y move beyond ! public transportation sy/em1 y mu/ include ! co/ & upkeep ( a c>4 ,b ev5 consid]+ ! add$ exp5se ( an automobile 7provid$ y take c>e ( x p>tly y\rself & ?us save "s s]vice *>ges7 y may h bett] liv+ conditions & d]ive m enjoym5t f life ?an if y liv$ clos] to t[n4 ,y\r food budget n[ may be ab\t #dj a mon?--en\gh = a lib]al diet4 ,y\r clo?+ all[ance %\ld be suffici5t = av]age ne$s--say1 #ae4 ,insurance & sav+s %\ld be great] ?an ^? ( ! c\ple 9 ! #abjj gr\p4 ,at lea/ #ad p]c5t ( y\r income n[ %\ld be set aside = ^! purposes4 ,if y plan to h *ildr5 on an income ( betwe5 #bjjj & #cjjj a ye>1 y /ill w be able to live com=tably1 b y probably w be happi] if y move into a community made up ( "y p ( y\r own income gr\p4 ,?is w enable ! mo!rs to make v>i\s sorts ( coop]ative arrangem5ts = *ild c>e1 :i* s]ve ! ?reefold purpose ( giv+ ! *ildr5 desirable social exp]i5ce1 provid+ ! "m ) m fre$om1 & keep+ co/s d[n4 ,x also contributes t[>d a cong5ial social life = ! adults4 ,! proportions to be sp5t = ! l>g] items hold true 9 g5]al = ! family ^: income is betwe5 #bjjj & #cjjj a ye>4 ,)\t kn[+ y\r individual circum/ances1 h[ev]1 no "o c make a budget = y 9 m9ute detail4 ,! am\nts y %\ld allot to v>i\s items are gov]n$ by _m consid]ations4 ,= example1 !re are "s types ( employm5t t require m exp5sive clo!s ?an o!rs1 :ile "s pr(essions necessitate ! pur*ase ( equipm5t4 ,aga91 ! major proportions w *ange ) ! ne$s ( y\r dep5d5ts1 :e!r ^! are *ildr5 or old] p]sons :o look to y = help4 ,moreov]1 a wife :o conf9es h] activities to ! home w d _m money-sav+ *ores & require few] clo!s ?an %e w\ld if %e1 too1 w5t to bus9ess4 ,not)/&+ ^! individual v>iations1 ! =ego+ rules ( ?umb w be helpful 9 keep+ y )9 safe b\nds4 ,b ! proportion ( y\r income to be sp5t = v>i\s purposes is only a small "p ( y\r problem4 ,don't be surpris$ if y\r budget fails to balance4 ,probably #ie p]c5t ( ^? :o attempt to budget _! family exp5ses h ?is exp]i5ce4 ,! prim>y reason is t few p]sons really "k :at x co/s to live4 ,?is is due1 9 "p1 to ! fact t we (t5 confuse total exp5ses ) day-to-day exp5ses4 ,mo/ p ?9k ( liv+ co/s z ! imm$iate outlay = food1 clo?+1 & %elt]1 disreg>d+ ! important item ( depreciation4 ,! av]age h\sewife und]/&s depreciation z x applies to food 9 a refrig]ator1 b gives v little ?\ght to ! same process z x applies to furniture1 appliances1 motorc>1 clo?+1 & ! h\se %e lives 9--if %e & h] husb& own x4 ,:5 replacem5t or repair ( ^! m durable goods becomes necess>y1 !re (t5 is no fund available = ! purpose4 ,if replacem5t or repair is made1 ! budget is ?r[n out ( balance4 ,if nei!r is und]tak51 depreciation sets 9 all ! fa/]4 ,9 ord] to cat* up at ?is po9t1 _m c\ples take :at seems at ! "t to be ! easie/ way out--!y borr[ money4 ,?is may appe> to solve ! problem1 b actually ! repaym5t ( ! loan ?r[s ! budget f>!r out ( balance4 ,n only t1 b a sub/antial int]e/ *>ge mu/ be met4 ,to cov] su* obligations1 y w h to curtail y\r liv+ exp5ses1 & y w f9d ?is mu* h>d] to d ?an to save = ^! em]g5cies 9 ! fir/ place4 ,"o ( ! greate/ f9ancial difficulties enc\nt]$ by "y p 7& _m old] ones1 too1 = t matt]7 is t ( mak+ an intellig5t decision 9 ! pur*ase ( su* important & co/ly items z a h\se1 me*anical home appliances1 furniture1 & life insurance4 ,! reason :y x is difficult to select ^! ?+s is t we buy !m too seldom to acquire mu* exp]i5ce ) ref]5ce to !m4 ,life insurance is a subject on :i* v few ( u h specific in=mation4 ,x is z important z x is trite to po9t out t ! am\nt & ! type ( insurance %\ld be gov]n$ by ! k9d ( haz>ds aga9/ :i* y %\ld provide4 ,yet x is necess>y to realize t ! ne$ ( protection *anges z life progresses4 ,a fa!r ) "y1 dep5d5t *ildr5 %\ld c>ry consid]ably m insurance ?an a man ) no dep5d5ts o!r ?an 8 wife4 ,consequ5tly1 x is desirable to c>ry two types ( insurance3 on ! "o h&1 a /raight life contract1 ent]$ into pref]ably e>ly 9 life :5 annual premiums are l[]1 &1 on ! o!r h&1 successive r5ewable t]m-insurance policies :i* may be pur*as$ :5 tempor>y responsibilities1 su* z ! re>+ ( *ildr51 are und]tak54 ,protection = a *ildless wife might be limit$ to an am\nt equal to two ye>s ( ! husb&'s sal>y4 ,r\ghly1 ! same am\nt ( t]m insurance may be tak5 out = ea* *ild4 ,! e>li] 9 life su* policies are acquir$1 ( c\rse1 ! small] ! annual premiums4 ,r5ewable t]m-insurance premiums are l[] ?an /raight life insurance because 9 ! =m] !re is no ca% surr5d] value4 ,t]m insurance1 l fire insurance1 buys protection--& no?+ else4 ,x is a mi/ake to look at life insurance z a prim>y =m ( sav+ because1 g5]ally speak+1 ! m ! life-insurance policy con=ms to a sav+s acc\nt1 ! less effectively & economically x af=ds protection aga9/ ! haz>d ( dea?4 ,buy ! life insurance z life insurance & put y\r sav+s into a sav+s acc\nt4 ,x is well to rememb] at ?is po9t1 too1 t if y c accumulate en\gh to pay y\r insurance premiums ye>ly--r ?an weekly or mon?ly--y w pay a l[] rate4 ,! pur*ase ( a home is ano!r difficult und]tak+ = ! newly m>ri$ c\ple because ! av]age p]son _c tell ! diff]5ce betwe5 a well-built h\se & "o :i* is poorly con/ruct$4 ,unless !re is "s und]/&+ ( ?is matt]1 x probably w be wis] to def] ! pur*ase ( a h\se & live 9 r5t$ qu>t]s until "o acquires su* k4 ,x mu/ be rememb]$1 also1 t ! upkeep ( a dwell+ is likely to come to a sub/antial figure & t ! budget may be sev]ely /ra9$ if "o does n "k 9 advance ! actual co/s ( own+ real e/ate4 ,n ! lea/ ( ^! items to be inve/igat$ is ! am\nt ( assessm5ts :i* are or may be levi$ aga9/ ! prop]ty4 ,! likelihood ( su* levies is seldom po9t$ out by ! real-e/ate salesman4 ,fur!rmore1 if "o's position is insecure or !re is a possibility ( be+ transf]r$ to ano!r section ( ! c\ntry 9 ! c\rse ( "o's employm5t1 x w\ld be wis] to live 9 r5t$ qu>t]s4 ,x is a good g5]al rule to pay no m ?an twice "o ye>'s sal>y = a h\se2 ( ?is am\nt1 n less ?an #aj p]c5t w be requir$ g5]ally z a d[n paym5t4 ,!n y w h to pay int]e/ & amortization on y\r mortgage1 :i*1 ) taxes & upkeep1 probably w come to z mu* z ! r5t = a simil> h\se4 ,at ! end ( a p]iod ( ye>s1 h[ev]1 y own ! h\se1 :i* is a def9ite advantage4 ,p]haps y h decid$1 z _m "y c\ples d today1 t y w bo? "w = wages4 ,! arrival ( a baby or possibly "s o!r unplann$ ev5t may =ce ! wife to give up h] job4 ,if y w\ld avoid real difficulties1 !re=e1 try f ! outset to meet ! big items--r5t1 food1 ess5tial clo?+1 & ! m9imum ( insurance & sav+s--out ( ! husb&'s e>n+s4 ,let ! wife's e>n+s cov] only ^? items :i*1 ?\gh desirable1 are less important to y\r welf>e1 su* z luxury clo!s1 recreation1 & items ( a simil> "*4 ,any c\ple :o dep5d on ! wife's e>n+s = su* ess5tials z food1 clo?+1 & %elt] %\ld be prep>$ to adopt a l[] scale ( exp5diture = any ( or all ^! purposes1 = z a g5]al rule h] contribution to ! family income is likely to be less c]ta9 ?an t ( h] husb&4 ,! "t to take on additional exp5ses is aft] an increase 9 ! husb&'s wages--n be=e4 ,gu>d aga9/ ! assumption ( obligations :i* y c\ld n meet if y\r comb9$ income 7 r$uc$4 ,simple z ?is rule w\ld seem to be1 ,i h se5 x ignor$ "t & "t aga91 usually ) ! same unhappy result4 ,i h 9 m9d ! case ( a c\ple :om we %all call ! ,br[ns4 ,doris ,br[n supplem5t$ h] husb&'s sal>y by giv+ piano lessons at home4 ,!y plann$ to h a baby & c\ld well h manag$ to d s ) b a %ort int]ruption to ,doris' tea*+ activity4 ,b--& ?is is :at s _m c\ples contemplat+ *ildr5 ov]look--complications set 9 :i* made x necess>y = h] to sp5d ! la/ six mon?s ( pregnancy 9 a hospital4 ,n only did ! family income decl9e by ! am\nt %e _h e>n$1 b exp5ses increas$ greatly4 ,"s ( ! deficit 0 made up by borr[+1 b !re is a limit to ! am\nt t c be obta9$ 9 ?is mann]4 ,t limit 0 rea*$ be=e ! la/ #aej 0 paid on ! gr& piano :i* ,doris requir$ = h] "w4 ,z a result1 ! piano 0 tak5 back by ! deal]4 ,! ,br[ns1 =tunately1 are p]sons :o d n give 9 readily 9 ! face ( adv]sity4 ,!y w "w out _! own problem & rega9 lo/ gr\nd4 ,inde$1 !y h already mov$ into *eap] liv+ qu>t]s1 n only to adapt !mselves to a small] income b also to "w out ( debt & re-acquire a piano4 ,mu* ( ! he>ta*e 9 ?is situation might h be5 avoid$ if ! c\ple _h dep5d$ less on ! wife's income to meet ess5tial exp5ses4 ,"o ( ! greate/ pitfalls 9 ! pa? ( any "y c\ple is ! feel+ t !y mu/ keep up ) ! ,joneses4 ,we all ?9k ( ourselves z belong+ to a c]ta9 social gr\p--:e!r we express x 9 snobbi% t]ms or n4 ,b we ne$ n on t acc\nt ma9ta9 a /&>d comp>able to t ( a neighbor :om we admire if1 9 do+ s1 we ov]ext5d ourselves4 ,intellig5t p]sons are n impress$ favorably by pret5se4 ,:at impresses is tra9+ & ability4 ,s9ce ! be/ "t to acquire ^! is :5 we are "y1 x may be necess>y = a :ile to practice ! v opposite ( o/5tation--self-sacrifice4 ,if y\r husb& is a pr(essional man & y h m>ri$ e>ly1 he may /ill be work+ = an advanc$ degree4 ,?is entails fees &--:at is ev5 m exact+--"t4 ,x means sacrifice--giv+ up social engagem5ts & _m com=ts :i* y w\ld be able to h on y\r husb&'s pres5t sal>y4 ,!re is no m basic "p ( ! budget today ?an provision = m vocational tra9+4 ,mo/ ( u wa/e money on noness5tials4 ,we h glass curta9s be=e we c af=d !m1 :]eas no curta9s (t5 make our h\ses light] & m re/ful4 ,we h fancy trays1 knickknacks1 & extra little tables t we d n ne$4 ,! mo/ attractive h\ses are 9 _m cases ^? :i* %[ no evid5ce ( ov]cr[d+4 ,h[ _m wom51 if !y look into _! bureau draw]s1 w n f9d !m clutt]$ ) accessories :i* ei!r are n us$ or1 if worn1 spoil ! elegance & tidy di/9ction ( _! co/umes8 ,buy+ wisely is an art1 b x requires no special tal5t--only a will+ness to le>n--& !re are any numb] ( books & magaz9e articles available t w help y to be bett] buy]s4 ,!re are a few g5]al recomm5dations1 h[ev]1 :i* may be made4 ,= example1 don't buy )\t ask+ y\rself 9 ea* in/ance3 ,d ,i ne$ ?is8 & ,w x fit 9 ) o!r ?+s ,i n[ h1 or w x require fur!r buy+8 ,?us a br[n coat1 no matt] h[ *eap1 is no b>ga9 if all y\r accessories are black4 ,ano!r important pr9ciple ( good buy+ is3 ,be sure y "k :at y want2 !n buy ! be/ y c af=d4 ,! be/ is usually ! *eape/ 9 ! long run4 ,x means few] replacem5ts1 long] use1 & bett] appe>ance f ! />t4 ,analog\s to wa/+ money on second-grade goods is ! pur*ase ( imitations ( articles y c't af=d4 ,don't buy ?+s t require exp5sive upkeep4 ,wa%+ is *eap] ?an dry-clean+1 & if y h wa%able clo!s & furni%+s t c be h&l$ at home1 y w n be /r&$ 9 a p]iod :5 y h to cut co/s by do+ ! "w y\rself4 ,buy f well-e/abli%$ m]*ants4 ,_! reputation is valuable1 to y & to !m alike4 ,avoid ! fly-by-night %op & its vaunt$ b>ga9s4 ,i h kn[n brides :o sp5t _! meag] food all[ances on useless trimm+s4 ,su* ignorance is inexcusable2 no woman ^! days ne$ g )\t compet5t advice on food pur*ases4 ,%e has only to consult h] favorite magaz9e4 ,mo/ budgets all[ some?+ = ! !atre1 social affairs1 week5ds1 vacation1 & travel = pleasure4 ,! proportion ( y\r income to be sp5t on recreation is a matt] ab\t :i* we mu/ n be dogmatic4 ,y mu/ figure out :at y want mo/4 ,9 ! fir/ place1 recreation requires ! allotm5t ( "t & money to d ?+s :i* y mo/ enjoy1 & ^! w diff] = e c\ple4 ,we may easily ov]emphasize ! k9d ( recreation = :i* we pay money4 ,x is true t !atre tickets1 phonograph records1 & ! l are exp5sive & (f] a passive =m ( ent]ta9m5t1 m appropriate = old] p4 ,:5 y are "y & try+ to be happy on little money1 x is fooli% to believe t y h to buy y\r fun4 ,:e!r or n y h a good "t dep5ds n on h[ mu* money y sp5d b on :e!r y & y\r husb& are fundam5tally good companions4 ,h y ! _s ( play & ! ability to enjoy ?+s toge!r8 ,!n y h "o ( life's mo/ preci\s gifts4 ,pres]ve x by ex]cise4 ,:]ev] y live1 !re are inexp5sive ways ( gett+ into ! woods1 picnick+ toge!r1 walk+1 swimm+1 & enjoy+ all sorts ( outdoor sports at v little co/4 ,su* recreation is good = y physically1 & great fun besides4 ,_m "y c\ples sp5d s mu* emotional en]gy on _! *ildr5 t !y lose ! invaluable habit ( runn+ (f to play toge!r4 ,:]ev] y cut exp5ses1 d n neglect to g (f toge!r frequ5tly z y did :5 y 7 engag$4 ,no money is bett] sp5t ?an ! small fee = hir+ a p]son to look aft] ! *ildr5 :ile husb& & wife take a picnic lun* toge!r1 a long walk1 or d :atev] x is !y mo/ enjoy4 ,too common today are p l ,m>y & ,jim1 :o1 9 _! eag]ness to d all t books & lectures recomm5d = little ,pet]1 got s involv$ 9 8 welf>e t !y lo/ all _! s5se ( fun4 ,!y are today ?or\ghly dull p1 no long] int]e/+ socially4 ,jim has fail$ to rise 9 8 bus9ess1 = he mislaid ! sp>k ( en?usiasm :i* made him an asset to 8 employ]4 ,mo/ unhappy is poor ,pet]1 :o has become a g5u9e problem *ild4 ,ent]ta9+ may seem important to y1 b "y c\ples are n expect$ to engage 9 any sort ( =mal social activity4 ,avoid exp5sive d9n] p>ties & sub/itute in=mal ga!r+s :]e bo? ! prep>ation & ! co/ ( food w be slight4 ,if y are orig9al & vivaci\s ho/s1 y\r gue/s w h a jolly "t4 ,y\r budget %\ld provide some?+ = m$ical s]vice4 ,rememb] t ! l>ge/ d5tal bill comes aft] a p]iod ( neglect4 ,y %\ld n h to sp5d mu* 9 fees = ! family doctor4 ,select "o ) c>e & talk ov] y\r circum/ances ) him 9 a fri5dly way4 ,don't be afraid to ask him :at 8 fee w be4 ,x is a false k9d ( pride t leads "o to hesitate 9 discuss+ pr(essional fees frankly & fully4 ,inve/igate ! ?ree-c5ts-a-day hospital plan 9 y\r community4 ,no m s]i\s "q ( exp5se w confront y ?an ! co/ ( *ildr54 ,! direct exp5se = hospital & m$ical c>e incid5tal to ! arrival ( a baby v>ies 9 diff]5t p>ts ( ! c\ntry1 b x is safe to say t 9 cities x w be some:]e betwe5 #ajj & #bjj z a m9imum4 ,h[ev]1 y ne$ n expect to enjoy ! frills ( a private room & special nurses & ?9k ! doctor w take c>e ( y = a nom9al fee2 !re is no reason :y he %\ld4 ,hav+ a baby is n a disease1 & y w n ne$ to h fussy c>e4 ,y %\ld1 h[ev]1 put some?+ aside = ^? extra exp5ses :i* are almo/ c]ta9 to occur4 ,dur+ ! baby's fir/ ye>1 regul> m$ical c>e %\ld be provid$4 ,y\r doctor may sugge/ a contract "u :i* y w\ld pay him a specifi$ am\nt to keep baby well & receive 8 s]vices :5ev] y ne$ !m dur+ t p]iod4 ,"u su* a plan y may pay any:]e f #ej to #cjj a ye>4 ,if y pref] to pay by ! visit1 y take ! risk2 x may co/ m1 or x may am\nt to less 9 ! c\rse ( a ye> ?an x w\ld "u ! t]ms ( a def9ite contract4 ,x is easy to be extravagant 9 buy+ unnecess>y clo!s & toys = ! *ild4 ,rememb] t a baby is happie/ 9 ! simple/ surr\nd+s & t ! only two ?+s y c give y\r *ild :i* are ( p]man5t value are good heal? & an acceptable social attitude4 ,if y h ! sort ( home :i* leads him to develop a fri5dly1 happy disposition & tea*es him ! necessity ( liv+ hone/ly & s9c]ely ) no attempt to conceal mi/akes1 y w give him z mu* z any p>5t c give any *ild4 ,x is = y\rself & n = y\r possessions t y\r *ildr5 may arise up1 & call y bless$4 ,x is important to y bo? to keep up y\r appe>ance 9 ord] to be z attractive physically & m5tally z be=e y 7 m>ri$4 ,b y may h to be v +5i\s 9 devis+ %ort cuts to ?is end :5 ! p]man5t wave y plann$ = or ! new suit y hop$ to buy is def]r$ by ! ne$ to put "s m money into y\r husb&'s prep>ation = 8 bus9ess or pr(ession or by any o!r em]g5cy :i* might arise4 ,! pluck ) :i* y meet ^! disappo9tm5ts is a measure ( y\r fitness = m>riage4 ,9 my own obs]vation1 among ! "y bus9ess & pr(essional gr\p ,i h se5 less g5u9e lack ( money ?an fretful /upidity :i* 0 express$ 9 poor managem5t4 ,a lack ( imag9ation & res\rcefulness (t5 paves ! way to trag$y4 ,we are liv+ 9 a fasc9at+ age1 b "u a complex economy t makes _m dem&s on our _s ( pione]+ & adv5ture4 ,x 0 picturesque--d>+1 p]haps--to leave com=table homes & settl$ communities z our great-gr&p>5ts did1 adv5tur+ into new c\ntry4 ,x s\nds romantic to live 9 a sodh\se & wre/le ) nature4 ,! tru? is t !y pretty well _h to d ^! ?+s to c>ve out a ni*e = !mselves 9 _! economic sy/em4 ,we "y m>ri$ p may h to live 9 a walk-up 9 an unfa%ionable "p ( t[n1 b ! same _s ( d>+ adv5ture & ! id5tical w to make a g ( ?+s animates u4 ,if y h t _s1 y c af=d to get m>ri$1 & ,i c assure y t ! rew>ds ( fac+ y\r problems & see+ !m ?r\gh toge!r are high4 ,su* a m>riage is firmly root$1 & :5 its buoyant "y love matures1 its fl[] is an endur+ happ9ess t no?+ else c equal4 ,jessie ,m>%all1 ,m4,d4 ,,*apt] ,,sev5 ,*ildr58 ,( ,c\rse6 ,n[adays we he> mu* ab\t plann+--t[n plann+1 city plann+1 nation plann+4 ,! eld] & y\ng] /atesm5 are go+ to see to x t we are well-h\s$1 well-f$1 suitably employ$ accord+ to our abilities1 & provid$ = 9 our old age4 ,good4 ,?is1 z ,i und]/& x1 has always be5 ! ,am]ican plan4 ,i am sure t no ,am]ican :o is will+ to "w des]ves less ?an ! fullness ( ! e>?4 ,& ,i %all assume t ?is c\ntry is go+ to be well en\gh plann$ to enable y to raise a family--) suitable plann+4 ,= family plann+ is ! mo/ important plann+4 ,inde$1 ! :ole po9t ( national plann+ is to enable u 9 turn to plan ! nation4 ,! nation re/s on ! family4 ,y\r family re/s on y & y\r mate4 ,:at are y plann+ to d ab\t x8 ,h[1 :51 & :y8 ,9 our *ildr5 we live ov] our own *ildhood & project ourselves into ! future4 ,until our own *ildr5 come along we t5d to =get t ! _w1 to :i* we are n[ s ?or\ghly & sometimes we>isomely accu/om$1 once /ruck u z a ?+ ( my/]i\s glam\r1 promis+ an endless op5+ vi/a ( ke5 excitem5t4 ,& yet1 if life is to cont9ue wor? ! liv+1 we mu/ cont9ue to hold onto t e>ly attitude4 ,we mu/ cont9ue to f9d ec/asy 9 simple s\rces4 ,& (t5 x is our *ildr5--easily yet deeply pleas$1 ceaselessly busy ) _! pa9ts & blocks & animals1 ready = e new adv5ture1 nev] jad$1 nev] dull--:o mu/ rem9d u1 _! eld]s1 h[ to get ! mo/ out ( life4 ,9 _! love = fl[]s & animals1 pa9ts & song1 we may r$iscov] ! subm]g$ or =gott5 purpose ( our own lives4 ,or our tal5t may be = build+ happy lives f ! gr\nd up1 9 :i* case ! *ildr5 !mselves are ! answ] to our se>* = pure-he>t$1 nev] flagg+ excitem5t4 ,z = project+ ourselves into ! future ?r\gh our *ildr51 rea*+ ahead ?r\gh !m 9 ord] to affect1 if possible1 g5]ation aft] g5]ation ( p yet unborn--?is is a k9d ( immortality snat*$ f dea? & a satisfaction1 ?\gh compos$ entirely ( hope1 t p>5ts prize4 ,/rong-s\l$ p feel t _! p]sonalities are wor? p]petuat+1 especially 9 conjunction ) _! belov$s'6 ,9 proportion to _! love ( life1 to ! /r5g? ( _! joy & ! cl>ity ( vision ( ev5 bett] ?+s1 p f9d "o lifetime all too %ort to fulfill ! exp&+ urges )9 !m4 ,9 _! *ildr5 !y see human be+s :o may c>ry on _! "w1 or at any rate transmit _! traits to gr&*ildr5 & great-gr&*ildr54 ,j at pres5t p :o h f\nd life good1 ! ideal p>5ts1 feel ! ne$ ( entru/+ ! future to p l !mselves1 ! desp]ate ne$ to keep p[] f fall+ into ! h&s ( morbid madm5 :o1 "u ! pretext ( enl>g+ life1 precipitate horrible w>s precisely because !y !mselves1 />v$1 oppress$1 or humiliat$ f ! cradle1 h nev] f\nd life good4 ,yes1 our *ildr5 c make all ! diff]5ce betwe5 a life full ( hope = ! future ( ! race & "o ( pessimism & despair4 ,x is ?is s5se ( *ildr5 z c>ry+ some?+ ( ourselves1 our temp]s1 our hopes1 into ! future :i* is at ! bottom ( :at we call ! eug5ic urge--! desire1 t is1 to beget good /ock & pass on only ! be/ 9 u4 ,ab\t ! obvi\s pleasures t *ildr5 br+1 ! fasc9ation ( see+ _! *>act]s unfold1 ! happ9ess ( fe/ivals l ,?anksgiv+1 ,*ri/mas1 & ,ea/]1 :i* )\t *ildr5 lose half _! *>m1 x is n necess>y to speak4 ,= our purposes1 h[ev]1 ! po9t is t !re are lit]ally doz5s ( reasons :y ne>ly all ( u want *ildr54 ,! problem is :5 to h !m & 9 :at numb]s4 ,= mod]n man likes to "k :at he is ab\t 9 ?is _w & to direct & control 8 de/9y 9 ! light ( o!r k & exp]i5ce4 ,! "t = ! fir/ baby is a "q ( read9ess on ! p>5ts' "p4 ,are !y ready physically1 psy*ologically1 economically8 ,^! are n1 ( c\rse1 ?ree sep>ate ways ( be+ ready2 !y are int]dep5d5t ways1 b !y (f] suitable heads "u :i* to discuss ! subject4 ,economic read9ess is ( utmo/ importance4 ,insecurity ( employm5t1 insuffici5t means to provide ! "m & baby ) m$ical sup]vision & good food1 or loom+ debts are 9 !mselves suffici5t to prev5t prospective p>5ts f atta9+ ! o!r k9ds ( read9ess--physical & psy*ological4 ,on ! o!r h&1 "y p ) /eady incomes %\ld n po/pone hav+ *ildr5 m]ely because ^? incomes are n high4 ,?ree c live almo/ z *eaply z two1 especially 9 ! *ild's fir/ ye>s4 ,x is ! exp5se ( hospitalization & doctor's c>e1 dur+ pregnancy & ?r\gh\t ! fir/ ye> or two foll[+ ! bir?1 t sometimes ?reat5s to unbalance ! family budget4 ,?is additional exp5se mu/ be provid$ =4 ,x ne$ n be great--a matt] ( a few hundr$ doll>s1 (t5 less 9 v>i\s p>ts ( ! c\ntry4 ,! doctor's fee = pre-natal c>e & deliv]y w correspond r\ghly1 unless he is a s5ior speciali/ ( great reputation 7by no means a necessity = heal?y p71 to ! exp5se = hospitalization4 ,! latt] c frequ5tly be obta9$ = a hundr$ doll>s or less--?\gh r>ely1 if ev]1 9 a big city--mak+ ! total co/ ( gett+ ! baby ab\t two hundr$ doll>s4 ,9 _m p>ts ( ! c\ntry hospital s*emes1 into :i* y make a mon?ly or ye>ly paym5t1 make x possible to get two weeks' hospitalization = "m & baby1 ) semi-private room1 use ( deliv]y room1 & nurs+ c>e1 = ab\t t5 doll>s4 ,?is effects an obvi\s sav+1 & has done a great deal to br+ *ildr5 )9 ! rea* ( all4 ,dur+ ! fir/ ye> or s ! "m ne$s to be q free to call on h] doctor = s]vice or advice :5ev] %e wi%es4 ,sometimes ! doctor w be glad to arrange a flat *>ge = a ye>'s att5tion1 say a hundr$ doll>s1 or m or less1 dep5d+ on ! family income4 ,su* an arrangem5t (t5 does ! p>5ts a great deal ( good1 putt+ _! m9ds at re/1 = !y feel !y c call on ! doctor 9 all reasonable em]g5cies1 ask him all necess>y que/ions1 expect p]iodic visits to _! baby1 & receive all necess>y vacc9ations & immunizations = a fee !y c af=d4 ,! sum may be paid 9 mon?ly or qu>t]ly in/allm5ts4 ,money = ! *ild may be sav$ out ( mon?ly e>n+s4 ,?is well-kn[n ph5om5on is call$ sav+ = *ildr54 ,v (t5 ! p>5ts ( ! m>ri$ c\ple are glad to help !m ) ! extra exp5se involv$ 9 hav+ _! fir/ *ild4 ,i d n mean by loans--= x is n good = "y p to be 9 debt1 ev5 to lov+ cr$itors--b by actually und]tak+ to pay ! hospital & ! physician4 ,if p are ready = a baby 9 all o!r ways & only money keeps !m f p>5?ood1 ! prospective gr&p>5ts (t5 feel x _! duty to help 9 ?is way4 ,dr4 ,joseph9e ,hem5way ,k5yon1 director ( ! ,heal? & ,happ9ess ,club ( ,good ,h\sekeep+1 has (t5 made ! wise sugge/ion t fa!rs give1 9 addition to any o!r w$d+ pres5t1 a #ejj or #ajjj bond1 call$ ,! ,baby ,bond1 to be kept to meet ! exp5ses ( br++ ! fir/ baby into ! _w & protect+ its fir/ ye> ( life4 ,?is idea appeal$ s /rongly to "s p>5ts t ,dr4 ,k5yon w5t ev5 fur!r1 sugge/+ t "y p>5ts :o c af=d x take out a t5-ye> end[m5t policy ( #ajjj = _! ?irte5-ye>-old *ildr51 to be available :5 ^! *ildr5 are tw5ty-?ree1 if ne$$1 to help !m />t _! own families4 ,! "q ( ! "r age = p>5?ood is naturally ( importance4 ,b x dep5ds on _m factors1 *ief among :i*1 aft] ! economic problem has be5 dispos$ (1 are physical & psy*ological heal?4 ,"s "t betwe5 tw5ty-?ree & tw5ty-eight seems to me to be a satisfactory "t = a woman to be> h] fir/ baby2 b any "t up to ?irty-five pres5ts no difficulty1 provid$ ! physical & m5tal conditions are heal?y & propiti\s4 ,pl5ty ( wom5 ( =ty & ov] h be5 kn[n to g ?r\gh fir/ & subsequ5t pregnancies successfully1 b !re is no reason = po/pon+ *ildr5 to ?is age except failure to f9d ! "r mate e>li] 9 life4 ,p :o h _! fir/ *ild :5 ov] ?irty-five are !mselves ov] fifty :5 ! *ild goes ?r\gh adolesc5ce--an age :i* may make x difficult to help ! *ild meet its crucial problems 9 ! tone ( "o good fri5d to ano!r4 ,if y _c h y\r *ildr5 be=e ?irty-five1 y mu/ make e ef=t to rema9 "y en\gh = spiritual companion%ip ) !m4 ,! be/ age = p>5?ood is to be det]m9$1 n 9 t]ms ( ye>s1 b ( physical & psy*ological heal? & happ9ess4 ,9 m>riage psy*ological heal? & happ9ess are l>gely dep5d5t on love4 ,x is ( ! utmo/ importance t e *ild %\ld be a love *ild1 9 ! be/ s5se ( ! t]m4 ,love is a spl5dor t eludes def9ition1 b x is *>act]iz$ by an inexhau/ible desire = ! belov$'s company & a /eadily burn+ fire ( en?usiasm & admiration4 ,s-call$ disillusion 9 love comes f ! failure ( ^! emotions4 ,"y lov]s1 ?r\gh pl5ty ( c\rt+ & companion%ip1 %\ld try to make sure ( ! la/+ quality ( _! love4 ,?is is sometimes impossible1 h[ev]1 & = ?is reason & o!rs ,i ?9k x is j z well = m>ri$ p to wait a ye> or ev5 two be=e hav+ _! fir/ *ild4 ,9 ! happie/ m>riages !re are _m adju/m5ts1 un=ese5 be=e ! w$d+1 to be made4 ,& x may v well be t only 9 ! cont9u$ intimacy ( m>riage c ! /r5g? ( love be te/$4 ,only !re c love gutt] out or prove itself /rong] ?an dea?--s mu* /rong] inde$1 t1 z x deep5s & wid5s 9 fullness & p[]1 x turns ( its own accord directly t[>d ! creation ( m life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 o!r words1 ! be/ "t to h *ildr5 is :5 ! lov]s1 sure ( !mselves & ( ea* o!r1 feel an imp]i\s ne$ to /amp ! gold ( life ) ea* o!r's images4 ,i feel no hesitancy 9 urg+ m>ri$ c\ples to take a ye> or s to make sure ( _! love1 if only = ! *ildr5's sake4 ,economic conditions be+ adequate1 !re is no reason to suppose t real lov]s w put (f hav+ *ildr5 until x is too late to obta9 ! be/ eug5ic results4 ,to p>aphrase ! poet1 we may say t ^? :o re/ra9 _! desire = *ildr5 d s because _! desire is weak en\gh to be re/ra9$4 ,su* p w probably n make good p>5ts4 ,true lov]s w beget *ildr5 aft] a ye> or two1 nor w !y m9d mak+ a few s-call$ sacrifices1 z ( p>ties & new automobiles1 = ! sake ( hav+ *ildr54 ,!y recognize ! di/9ction betwe5 ent]ta9m5t & joy4 ,man may be a laugh+ animal1 b he is m ess5tially a creative animal4 ,8 deepe/ pleasures are simply ! by-products ( 8 activity4 ,9 build+ a home ar\nd a family ( *ildr5 bo? m5 & wom5 (t5 f9d ! deepe/ ( all possible pleasures4 ,& :5 x is 9 ?is _s ( vital affection t ! *ild is begott51 we get1 z ! eug5i/s say1 a vital f]tilization4 ,! *ances are t *ildr5 s begott5 w !mselves be capable ( /rong1 s\nd1 deep-seat$ feel+s4 ,z ,dr4 ,kugelmass says 9 ,gr[+ ,sup]ior ,*ildr51 ,! degree ( emotional devotion ( "o p>5t to ano!r is reflect$ dom9antly 9 ! transmission ( ! m vital elem5ts 9 ! con/itution ( ! prog5y4 ,to ! "q ( physical read9ess = *ildbir? ,i come la/1 b n because x is ( lea/ importance4 ,)\t physical heal? ! p>5ts _c expect to beget heal?y *ildr51 nor inde$ c !y1 9 _m cases1 manage ev5 to be> !m4 ,z ev]yone kn[s1 wom5 afflict$ ) tub]culosis1 he>t disease1 & kidney *anges %\ld probably refra9 f be>+ *ildr54 ,b ?is is a matt] = ! doctor to decide4 ,su* p1 if _! tr\bles are n sev]e1 may safely be> at lea/ "o *ild1 sometimes two4 ,!y %\ld put !mselves 9 ! h&s ( a good physician & rely implicitly on 8 f9d+s & advice4 ,suff]]s f v5]eal diseases %\ld n attempt to beget *ildr5 till !y h be5 giv5 a clean bill ( heal?4 ,nor %\ld *ildr5 be begott5 :5 ! body is weak5$ by tempor>y disease or dur+ ! /age ( debilitat+ aft]-effects4 ,= disease & fatigue affect sex cells unfavorably4 ,s d m5tal /ra91 depression & ov]excitem5t4 ,unheal?y physical & m5tal /ates 9 ! p>5ts lead to debilitat$ or defici5t (fspr+4 ,!y op5 ! way to ! op]ation ( undesirable h]$it>y factors :i* g5]ations ( self-controll$ p>5ts h be5 driv+ into ! backgr\nd & att5uat+ to ! po9t ( disappe>ance4 ,x is possible = ! fa!r1 too1 to weak5 8 vitality by excessive sexual activity4 ,9 f9e1 ! be/ "t = conception to take place is :5 ! lov]s' s5se ( well-be+1 physical z well z m5tal1 is at its fulle/4 ,full-bodi$ passion1 :i* we may ?9k ( z a k9d ( crisis ( love & heal?1 w give u (fspr+ to be pr\d (4 ,"o ?+ we _c plan1 h[ev]1 is ! sex ( ! *ild to come4 ,nor %\ld we1 9 g5]al1 wi% to4 ,x 0 ! limit$ sph]e ( fem99e activities t once t5d$ to make girls a debit1 boys a cr$it4 ,n[adays girls h j z _m opportunities ( becom+ int]e/+ human be+s z h boys4 ,x is a favorite !ory ( my husb&'s t !y may1 & (t5 d1 become m int]e/+1 because !y c d n only ev]y?+ t boys c d b "o ?+ m--!y c be> *ildr51 a humaniz+ exp]i5ce ( ! greate/ possible value4 ,%\ld y wi% to "k :at are y\r *ances ( hav+ tw9s1 ,i mu/ rem9d y t ! t5d5cy to give bir? to !m is an inh]it$ trait1 especially ?r\gh ! fa!r4 ,tw9s are mu* m likely to be girls ?an boys1 & to be born lat] r ?an e>li] 9 ! "m's m>ri$ life4 ,?us x is ?ree times m likely t a woman ( ?irty-eight w give bir? to tw9s ?an t a woman ( tw5ty-f\r w d s4 ,%\ld y fe> t ! unpr$ictable appe>ance ( tw9s w unbalance y\r baby budget1 y c1 = a mod]ate sum1 insure y\rself aga9/ ?is *ance ) _m ( ! l>g] insurance companies4 ,! insurance mu/ be tak5 out be=e ! exi/5ce ( tw9s 9 ! ut]us c be diagnos$--t is1 9 ! fir/ two or ?ree mon?s ( ge/ation4 ,"o tw9 bir? occurs to ab\t #ij s+le bir?s1 "o triple to ab\t #hjjj1 & "o quadruple to ab\t #fej1jjj4 ,9 all m$ical lit]ature only ab\t #cj cases ( qu9tuplets h be5 record$4 ,multiple bir?s are n only r>e1 b ! babies are (t5 s delicate t !y are extremely difficult to re>4 ,we c be well pleas$ if our fir/ pregnancy ev5tuates 9 a s+le heal?y baby ( ei!r sex4 ,all ! reasons = want+ ! fir/ *ild apply 9 ! case ( ! second1 & to !m are add$ m4 ,:at 0 9 ! fir/ in/ance simply a hope & a vague if p[]ful urge has n[ gr[n into a consci\s desire1 bas$ on ! self-k & exp]i5ce ga9$ f lov+ & look+ aft] ! fir/ *ild4 ,we h _h a real ta/e ( ! joys ( home & family build+1 & n[ no?+ %ort ( economic cata/rophe is likely to /op u f build+ high]4 ,i assume1 ( c\rse1 t ! "m did n enc\nt] any sev]e difficulties 9 giv+ bir? to h] fir/ *ild4 ,if %e 0 9 good m$ical h&s1 %e probably did n1 ?\gh c]ta9 unusual =mations ( ! pelvis may h made h] labor long] ?an usual4 ,i d n say m pa9ful1 because m$ical sci5ce has f\nd ways ( m9imiz+ ! pa9s ( *ildbir?4 ,ev5 if x 0 f\nd necess>y to deliv] ! fir/ *ild by ,caes>ean op]ation1 a woman 9 normal heal? c )\t dang] be> at lea/ two *ildr5 by ?is me?od4 ,& at ! v lea/ a family %\ld include two *ildr54 ,q ap>t f ! p>5ts' natural desire to g on express+ _! mutual love by build+ a full-voic$ home on ! f\ndations laid by ! fir/ *ild1 x soon becomes app>5t t ?is fir/ *ild1 = ! sake ( its own social & moral developm5t1 ne$s a little bro!r or si/]4 ,x ne$s companion%ip4 ,x ne$s to %>e its toys & its p>5ts4 ,o!rwise x w t5d to gr[ self-c5t]$4 ,by be+ too mu* ) gr[n-ups x may become moody & negative4 ,aft] ! "q1 ,c y af=d x8--& ,i s9c]ely hope y c--! next "q fac+ ! "m :o wants a second *ild is1 ,:5 c ,i be> x ) ! maximum am\nt ( b5efit to x1 to my fir/ *ild1 & to myself8 ,cle>ly1 if x is to be a playmate = ! fir/ *ild1 y w want to h x z soon z possible4 ,b1 9 fairness to bo? ! "m & ! *ild-to-be1 !re %\ld elapse a p]iod ( ab\t two ye>s betwe5 ! bir? ( ! fir/ & ! conception ( ! second (fspr+4 ,less "t ?an t w seldom all[ ! "m1 :o put s mu* ( h] be/ blood & bone into build+ & nurs+ ! fir/ baby1 to recov] fully h] maximal physical heal? & /r5g?4 ,all au?orities are agre$ on ?is po9t4 ,!re may be exceptions1 ( c\rse1 & !re are always mo!rs :o1 by reason ( hav+ m>ri$ late1 p]haps1 are anxi\s to h z _m babies z quickly z possible4 ,b mo/ wom5 nei!r c nor w nor %\ld produce *ildr5 9 ?is fa%ion4 ,!re is too mu* risk ( weak5+ ! "m's body & ( begett+ poor /ock4 ,lat] *ildr5 may be spac$ to suit ! desires ( ! p>5ts1 a recov]y p]iod ( two ye>s or m always be+ all[$ ! "m4 ,b w !re be any lat] *ildr58 ,dr4 ,ellswor? ,hunt+ton 9 8 contribution to ?is volume has told u t mo/ ( u :o are n %iftless & incompet5t1 on "o h&1 or weal?y & well-e/abli%$1 on ! o!r1 belong to a gr\p 9 :i* ! av]age numb] ( *ildr51 includ+ ^? :o die "y1 is few] ?an ?ree4 ,dr4 ,hunt+ton rightly deplores ?is rapid fall ( ! bir?rate1 especially among intellig5t1 f> sight$1 indu/ri\s1 progressive p ^: ideals ( family life are high4 ,! tr\ble ) a family ( few] ?an ?ree is t x _c be c\nt$ on to project v f> into ! future ^? s\nd s\ls1 t good biological inh]itance1 :i* ! p>5ts flatt] !mselves are s def9itely wor? pres]v+4 ,a family ( two or ev5 ?ree *ildr5 w n1 on ! av]age1 produce two :o1 by becom+ p>5ts1 may be ?\ght ( z replac+ _! fa!r & "m4 ,?us a family ( few] ?an f\r *ildr5 may be said to be dy+ out4 ,?is is a sorry /ate ( ?+s = ^? p>5ts :o1 z ,i said above1 l to ?9k ( !mselves z affect+ ! de/9ies ( ! race by transmitt+ _! be/ *>act]i/ics f g5]ation to g5]ation4 ,:5 intellig5t p are =c$ to limit _! families to "o or two *ildr5 by lack ( money1 x is a great pity4 ,!re is a great abundance ( good ?+s 9 ,am]ica1 b we d n seem to be able to get ^! ?+s di/ribut$ 9 su* a way z to d ! mo/ good4 ,we are all work+ = a bett] _w1 b are we work+ h>d en\gh8 ,i sometimes ?9k t we are n work+ s h>d z we might1 because our /ake 9 t bett] s*eme ( ?+s is n l>ge en\gh4 ,if we d>$ to h ?ree or f\r *ildr51 ) all ! sacrifices impli$1 ,i wond] :e!r ?is fact w\ld n %>p5 our sc5t on ! trail ( ! bett] ,am]ica4 ,"l ,bacon said t ^? :o h *ildr5 h giv5 ho/ages to =tune4 ,b ,i am incl9$ to ?9k t ^? :o h made l>ge & important b>ga9s ) *ance are j ^? :o w move heav5 & e>? to gu>d aga9/ mis*ance4 ,"o aspect ( ! bett] ,am]ica1 propos$ by ! ,am]ican ,eug5ic ,society1 w p]haps be ! adoption ( a slid+-wage scale1 *>act]iz$ by a rise 9 pay ^u m>riage & ) ! arrival ( ea* successive *ild4 ,t ?\ghtful p ( our "t1 :e!r ri* or n1 w soon return to hav+ families z l>ge z our gr&p>5ts' is extremely unlikely4 ,to be> t5 or fifte5 *ildr5 w\ld probably kill mo/ mod]n wom5 or s completely we> !m out t ! remnant ( _! lives w\ld n be wor? liv+4 ,& families ( ?is size w\ld simil>ly exhau/ ev5 unusually l>ge pocket-books1 leav+ mo/ fa!rs insolv5t4 ,?\gh x is probably true1 z economi/s say1 t our l& & its res\rces1 if m equitably di/ribut$ & sci5tifically exploit$1 are capable ( support+ _m m millions ( ,am]icans ?an at pres5t1 !re seems to be no good reason = /epp+ up ! mod]n middle-class family beyond f\r or five *ildr54 ,! read] w notice t ,i h be5 go+ on ! assumption t p c h *ildr51 & f9e specim5s at t1 to ord]--:5 & z !y please4 ,?is is to a l>ge ext5t true4 ,! key to ! my/]y is ! doctor4 ,mod]n m$ical s*ools & mod]n law h entru/$ into 8 h&s n only ! physical b ! m5tal well-be+ ( 8 pati5ts4 ,! tight int]lock+ ( ! body & _s has be5 ev]y:]e recogniz$1 & ! impossibility1 9 _m illnesses1 ( heal+ "o )\t treat+ ! o!r4 ,positive well-be+ 9 ! body1 s important = ! begett+ ( /rong *ildr51 is practically inconceivable ap>t f positive happ9ess 9 ! m9d4 ,?us x has become a prime t5et ( eug5ics t babies mu/ n be conceiv$ "u conditions ( excessive m5tal worry or /ra94 ,*ildr5 begott5 9 deprivation or ! fe> t !y are go+ to l[] ! :ole family's /&>d ( liv+ to a pa9ful p9* are n go+ to h mu* *ance1 ev5 :ile 9 ! womb1 to turn out fit & /rong4 ,judici\s limitation ( bir? = reasons ( heal?1 ! :ole heal? ( ! p>5ts1 9 behalf ( ! be/ possible grade ( (fspr+ has !re=e become a r\t9e "p ( ! physician's s]vice to 8 pati5ts4 ,e m>ri$ c\ple %\ld put !mselves 9 ! h&s ( a physician :om !y respect & admire1 mak+ him an indisp5sable ?ird p>tn] to _! family plann+4 ,?is crucial role ( ! doctor 9 eug5ics is "o ( ! few really deeply enc\rag+ signs ( our times4 ,! ,woman ,asks ! ,doctor1 by ,dr4 ,emil ,novak ( ,johns ,hopk9s1 gives "s idea ( ! role ! mod]n physician may play 9 help+ p>5ts plan ! vigor\s citiz5ry ( ! future4 ,:5 ! m>ri$ lov]s are ready to h _! *ildr51 x is naturally ) ! woman t ! doctor is mo/ conc]n$1 correct+ /ructural or functional deviations or mild organic disease be=e ! pregnancy has advanc$ too f>1 see+ to x t ! gl&ul> me*anisms d _! important "w1 t nutritional intake is suffici5t1 t dige/ion is kept successfully function+1 t metabolic processes are rais$ to m ?an ord9>y effici5cy1 & t ! body is kept free f all tox9s & infections4 ,aft] ! bir? ( ! *ild ! doctor w n only look aft] ! *ild b also see to x t ! "m suff]s no adv]se aft]-effects & is re/or$ to h] maximal heal? & effici5cy z soon z possible1 ready to be> h] next heal?y baby :5 ! "t %all come4 ,%\ld a baby be conceiv$ unexpect$ly1 ! doctor is (t5 ! be/ p]son to help ! p>5ts h&le ! unt[>d situation4 ,he c give ! "m's physical condition t special att5tion :i* x w probably ne$ if %e has borne ano!r *ild q rec5tly4 ,if ! objection to ! *ild arises f economic or psy*ologic unprep>$ness1 !re is no "o bett] fitt$1 possibly1 ?an ! mod]n physician = *ang+ negative fe> to positive desire4 ,by ! =ce ( 8 own en?usiasm = new life1 by 8 vision ( ! mod]n family1 by a skillful comb9ation ( 8 common s5se & psy*iatric tra9+1 & by 8 ability to arrange fees )9 ! range ( 8 worri$ cli5ts1 he c usually turn ! unplann$ conception into a happy accid5t4 ,x is (t5 to ! physician1 too1 t ! fa!r mu/ look = practical guidance & enc\ragem5t 9 ^? un=eseeable cases :5 ! "m p]i%es 9 connection ) *ildbir?4 ,x is he :o is 9 ! be/ position to prev5t ! fa!r f unconsci\sly atta*+ blame to ! un(f5d+ *ild & h>bor+ an undef9$ res5tm5t :i* may adv]sely affect bo? lives4 ,! doctor c help ! b]eav$ fa!r to cl+ to 8 dream ( family life1 c assi/ him 9 build+ a happy home = 8 mo!rless *ild or *ildr51 or c advise him on problems :i* may arise out ( f9d+ a new "m = !m4 ,ano!r important function ( ! physician is to give aid to c\ples :o h difficulty 9 begett+ *ildr54 ,! "q ( /]ility comes up frequ5tly 9 our "t1 especially among cultivat$ & intellectual p4 ,p]si/5t failure to conceive we t]m absolute /]ility2 p]si/5t failure to c>ry pregnancy to a successful end1 we call relative /]ility4 ,! latt] is an ob/etric problem & c usually be dealt ) successfully4 ,s c ! =m] 9 ab\t =ty p]c5t ( ! cases4 ,we mu/ rememb] ! rule =mulat$ by ,mat!ws ,duncan1 t ! m>riage ( p]sons betwe5 tw5ty & ?irty _c be reg>d$ z /]ile until at lea/ f\r ye>s ( normal1 happy sexual int]c\rse h elaps$4 ,i h kn[n half a doz5 in/ances 9 :i* a *ild 0 born aft] five1 six1 t51 &1 9 "o case1 fifte5 ye>s ( complete failure to conceive4 ,9 ^! cases no special ef=ts 7 made by ! c\ple to br+ ab\t conception4 ,c\ples :o wi% to make special ef=ts %\ld h complete physical exam9ations1 bo? husb& & wife1 = ?\gh failure to conceive us$ to be attribut$ solely to ! wife1 we n[ "k t 9 ab\t ?irty p]c5t ( cases x is ! husb& :o is ! cause4 ,_m rem$iable physical conditions may be responsible = /]ility1 & ! doctor1 by correct+ !m1 has a wond]ful *ance to contribute to human happ9ess4 ,_m families feel ! trag$y ( n hav+ *ildr51 & yet d n realize ! ne$ ( f9d+ out :at ! tr\ble is4 ,!y j drift along1 assum+ t no?+ c be done1 & (t5 !y c\ld be made f]tile4 ,?is subject is ably discuss$ 9 ,human ,/]ility by ,dr4 ,samuel ,r4 ,meak] ( ! ,bo/on ,univ]sity ,s*ool ( ,m$ic9e4 ,:5 ! doctor decides t !re is practically no *ance ( a c\ple's hav+ *ildr5 ( _! own1 _! /rong family urge may lead !m to adopt "s4 ,!y c f9d useful in=mation 9 ,e4 ,g4 ,gallagh]'s ,! ,adopt$ ,*ild4 ,x (t5 happ5s t p get z mu* satisfaction out ( adopt$ *ildr5 z !y c\ld h got out ( _! own1 f9d+ cause = pride1 inspiration1 & com=t 9 _! unfold+ t[>d maturity4 ,! "q ( :e!r we %\ld adopt *ildr5 :5 infants or lat]--at "s age "u six--is wor? consid]+4 ,x may seem at fir/ glance t only infants rais$ f ! cradle c really take ! place ( *ildr5 ( our own4 ,:ile ?is is p>tly true1 !re are drawbacks to be consid]$4 ,to beg9 )1 ! supply ( infants = adoption is n by any means l>ge en\gh to meet ! dem&4 ,second1 m ?an half ! numb] ( small babies available are illegitimate1 & "o c (t5 le>n little ab\t ! p>5tage4 ,?\gh v>i\s *ild-plac+ ag5cies f9d x difficult to allocate ^? *ildr5 :o d n become available = adoption till ! age ( ?ree or f\r or lat]1 !re are _m ?+s to be said 9 favor ( tak+ an old] *ild4 ,m (t5 !y are legitimate & m facts ab\t _! p>5tage c be asc]ta9$2 also1 x is possible to apply intellig5ce te/s :i* w disclose :e!r _! intellig5ce is normal or above4 ,(t5 ^? p>5ts :o want to adopt *ildr5 t5d to be intellectual1 & w f9d great] happ9ess 9--& give great] happ9ess to--a *ild :o is ( normal or sup]ior intellig5ce4 ,y may object to ! old] *ild's e>ly environm5t1 ?9k+ t x mu/ h p]man5tly injur$ ev5 ! faire/ ( capacities4 ,b psy*ologi/s tell u t ?is is n really ! case1 & t ! unhappy effects ( poor environm5t dur+ ! fir/ five ye>s ( a *ild's life c be remov$1 & ! *ild recondition$ )\t too mu* tr\ble4 ,c\ples :o are no long] "y %\ld1 p]haps1 adopt old] *ildr5 9 ord] t !y may /& 9 ! mo/ helpful age relation to !m4 ,*ildr5 adopt$ z infants %\ld always be told t !y are n ! fle%-&-bone *ildr5 ( ! fo/] p>5ts4 ,?is in=mation1 :i* is b\nd to come to !m1 w come ) less %ock f ! p>5ts !mselves4 ,at ! age ( five or six1 :5 !y fir/ beg9 to be int]e/$ 9 :]e *ildr5 come f1 is a good "t to tell !m4 ,x is agre$ t ! fo/] p>5ts %\ld use ! ^w *os5 r ?an adopt$--!y *ose _! *ildr5 out ( all ! ?\s&s available1 j z ! fo/] fa!r *ose 8 wife1 & ! wife h] husb&4 ,?is attitude t[>d ! "q makes = a feel+ ( family solid>ity & loyalty no less pr(\nd ?an t betwe5 o!r p>5ts & *ildr54 ,ev]y?+ mu/ be done to prev5t feel+s ( inf]iority f gr[+ out ( ! adoptive relation%ip3 ! *ildr5 mu/ nev] be rem9d$ ( ! fact ( adoption1 ! p>5ts mu/ n expect m gratitude f !m ?an !y w\ld f (fspr+ ( _! own1 & !y mu/ nev]1 nev] %\t ?anks to ,god1 9 a mom5t ( ang]1 t ! *ildr5 are n really !irs4 ,to d s is n to play ! game4 ,aft] all1 "u mo/ /ate laws1 *ildr5 may be adopt$ on trial = a ye>4 ,if ! *ildr5 are kept aft] t date1 ! p>5ts b9d !mselves 9 law & 9 morality to br+ !m up exactly z if !y 7 _! own4 ,i keep us+ ! plural ?r\gh\t ?is p>agraph because ,i assume1 ( c\rse1 t y w adopt at lea/ two *ildr5 if x becomes necess>y = y to plan 9 ?is way y\r v]sion ( a spl5did ,am]ican family--/rong1 lov+1 & creative ( an ev] f9] future4 ,dr4 ,hornell ,h>t ,,*apt] ,,eight ,det\r ,ar\nd ,r5o ,david & ,ru? h be5 m>ri$ f\r ye>s4 ,! fir/ few mon?s 7 glori\s3 !y _h to make m9or adju/m5ts1 ( c\rse1 b !y _h ?rill+ times toge!r1 & x 0 a wond]ful ?+ to h someone y belong$ to1 someone s com=t+ & lovable4 ,yet lately !re h be5 difficulties4 ,david believes 9 sav+ money2 ,ru? ?9ks t y live only once & t y ought to sp5d y\r money--wisely1 ( c\rse--= ! nice ?+s & ! great exp]i5ces1 especially s9ce !re is no tell+ :5 ! bank w fail or :5 ! bottom w drop out ( ! /ock m>ket & y w lose all y've inve/$4 ,david likes to get away f ! h\se at night--to see fri5ds1 & keep up ) really good movies4 ,ru? pref]s night clubs & gay p>ties4 ,david ?9ks ,ru? ought to be m c>eful ab\t ^? :ite lies & ^? extremely dcollet dresses2 ,ru? ?9ks ,david is r a prude & mighty inconsid]ate 9 ! way he keeps pick+ on h]4 ,& !n !re is ,junior4 ,ru? believes 9 lov+ "o's *ildr5 :olehe>t$ly & tru/+ t affection & und]/&+ w br+ !m ?r\gh all "r 9 ! long run2 ,david ?9ks t "r f ! cradle y\ng/]s ne$ to build "* & to le>n t !y h to obey4 ,two days ago !re 0 q a qu>rel1 :5 ,ru? ord]$ ! new electric /ove )\t consult+ ,david--& on ! same day he discov]$ t %e _h accid5tally ov]drawn ! bank acc\nt6 ,nei!r "o has spok5 x1 b ! ^w ,,divorce has be5 say+ itself beh9d ^? set lips & ^? coldly polite faces4 ,?is fall+ out betwe5 ,david & ,ru? repres5ts "o g5]al type ( m>ital conflict4 ,a man & a woman diff]+ some:at 9 temp]am5t--z any two p diff]1 m or less--f9d !mselves be+ hurt by ! o!r's ways ( act+4 ,ea* all[s a s5se ( antagonism to gr[ up4 ,?is makes !m m ready to res5t ! next diff]5ce 9 op9ion or purpose4 ,once />t$1 ! feel+ ( enmity c gr[ l a sn[ball until nei!r "o is will+ to believe 9 ! o!r's hone/y1 fairness1 or dec5cy4 ,?is road leads /raight to ,r5o4 ,b !re are _m o!r ways ( fall+ out 9 m>riage4 ,= example1 !re is ! exp]i5ce ( ,h5ry & ,m>y4 ,!y _h a que] sort ( engagem5t4 ,!y enjoy$ ea* o!r's fri5ds & _h wond]ful times play+ t5nis & go+ to %[s toge!r4 ,b :5 x came to love-mak+1 ,h5ry always felt t he _h made a clumsy fool ( himself1 & ,m>y always felt a turmoil ( baffl$ emotions4 ,_! honeymoon 0 a gha/ly failure4 ,( c\rse ,m>y knew t !re 0 su* a ?+ z sex1 b h] p>5ts _h giv5 h] a feel+ t ! less p _h to d ) su* ?+s1 ! bett]4 ,h] m>riage night left h] ) a feel+ ( bl9d revulsion4 ,%e tri$ hone/ly to ov]come x ?r\gh ! mon?s t foll[$1 b %e _h to =ce h]self to respond to ,h5ry's c>esses1 & he knew bitt]ly t %e hat$ ! relation :i* = him 0 a deep & urg5t ne$4 ,9 ! ye>s t foll[$ !y _h f\r *ildr5 & lov$ !m de>ly4 ,!y /ill enjoy$ go+ out toge!r1 ent]ta9+ _! _m fri5ds1 & tak+ "p toge!r 9 _! *ur* activities2 b !re 0 a grim disappo9tm5t back ( x all1 & e n[ & !n x broke out 9 h>% words :i* bo? ( !m regrett$4 ,sexual fru/ration z exp]i5c$ by ,h5ry & ,m>y--or aris+ f v>i\s o!r causes--is a factor 9 _m m>ital conflicts4 ,our next example illu/rates ano!r type ( di%>mony4 ,hel5 0 really ! "o :o br\ght ab\t h] m>riage to ,william4 ,%e 0 a capable bus9esswoman1 e>n+ a good sal>y4 ,he 0 ! only son ( a divorc$ woman4 ,8 "m lov$ him de>ly2 he 0 h] great s\rce ( com=t 9 ! lonel9ess & disappo9tm5t ( h] own wreck$ m>riage4 ,hel5 saw ! f9e qualities 9 him & felt t he 0 be+ %ut away f normal life because 8 "m wrapp$ h]self ar\nd him4 ,:5 ! "m 0 laid up 9 ! hospital = ?ree mon?s1 ,hel5 set ab\t a well-plann$ campaign4 ,!y 7 m>ri$ %ortly aft]w>d4 ,8 "m valiantly refra9$ f go+ ) !m on ! honeymoon--& arrang$ = !m to live across ! hall f h] 9 ! same ap>tm5t build+4 ,william felt s9c]ely t he mu/ n all[ 8 "m to be lonely1 & he c\ld n und]/& :y 8 wife %[$ irritation :5 ! ?ree ( !m 7 toge!r f\r or five nights e week & ?r\gh\t ! summ] vacation4 ,b :5 he realiz$ t x 0 n work+ out1 !y f9ally mov$ to ! o!r side ( t[n & limit$ ! ev5+s ) 8 "m to two or ?ree a week4 ,:5 !y fir/ m>ri$1 ,william insi/$ t 8 wife give up h] "w1 & he also felt t he ought to manage ! family f9ances--) 8 "m's con/ant advice4 ,hel5 long$ = *ildr51 & %e surr5d]$ h] bus9ess c>e] 9 ! hope t %e might h a family4 ,b no *ildr5 came1 & at la/ ,hel5 f\nd a new position1 n s good z ! "o f :i* %e _h resign$4 ,%e loves ,william passionately1 b %e feels t 8 "m has spoil$ _! m>riage4 ,william loves ,hel51 b feels t %e is unacc\ntably h>d & unfri5dly t[>d 8 "m1 & he is di/ress$ by h] insi/5ce ^u e>n+ h] own income4 ,! "m wants bo? to be happy & is will+ to retire into ! backgr\nd1 b %e believes t ,hel5 does n really appreciate ,william2 z a "m %e does n propose to see h] son's life ru9$ by any woman4 ,william's "m fixation is a some:at extreme example ( a fairly frequ5t s\rce ( conflict4 ,9 "s cases ! bride suff]s f fa!r fixation1 & h] husb& suff]s accord+ly4 ,our f\r? case illu/rates ano!r widespread type ( m>riage problem4 ,sam _h _h a gay & jolly life be=e he m>ri$4 ,mabel felt ke5 pride :5 %e f9ally captur$ him f ! o!r girls4 ,he really meant to settle d[n & be loyal to h] :5 !y m>ri$4 ,_! passion = ea* o!r 0 absorb+ & wond]ful = a :ile4 ,tw9s 7 born promptly1 & a ye> lat] came ano!r *ild4 ,! babies kept ,mabel ti$ d[n r closely to ! home4 ,sam (t5 f\nd h] ) wildly /ray+ hair & a muss$ dress :5 he came home1 & h] temp] 0 apt to be on wire edge aft] nights ( be+ up ) ! *ildr54 ,sam always seem$ to be s\nd asleep :5 ! *ildr5 ne$$ att5tion4 ,mabel became c>eless ab\t ! cook+3 ! food 0 (t5 burn$1 cold1 lumpy1 & poorly season$4 ,%e notic$ t ,sam always bright5$ up :5 a pretty girl 0 ne>4 ,he us$ to g out (t5 to play c>ds ) ! boys1 & ,mabel twice f\nd lip/ick on 8 h&k]*ief4 ,a nice m$ical /ud5t :o rooms next door has n[ tak5 to dropp+ 9 to talk to ,mabel4 ,%e wond]s--s9ce ,sam is s free & easy--:e!r %e might n also pick up a little ?rill on ! side4 ,& ! neighbors h rec5tly ov]he>d "s viol5t argum5ts betwe5 ,sam & ,mabel4 99 99 99 99 99 ,f\r typical cases ( unhappy m>riage h be5 sket*$3 a man & woman :o are all[+ diff]5ces ( op9ion to gr[ into int5se antagonism1 a c\ple suff]+ f misc>riage ( _! sex life1 a vigor\s woman m>ri$ *ildlessly to a "m-absorb$ man1 & an ov]work$ & r c>eless "m m>ri$ to a man :o is always seek+ fre% romance4 ,by way ( contra/ let u look at a q diff]5t type ( m>riage4 ,*>les & ,anna h be5 m>ri$ tw5ty ye>s4 ,lov+ ea* o!r has be5 ! great adv5ture ( _! lives--t & hav+ _! ?ree *ildr54 ,!y always reg>d$ m>riage z a p>tn]%ip--fifty-fifty1 !y us$ to say4 ,!re h be5 times ( /ress1 b !y h always be5 able to talk _! problems out toge!r4 ,!re h ev5 be5 outbur/s n[ & !n :5 !y h got beh9d on _! sleep1 & :5 ea* ( !m has be5 try+ s h>d to hold d[n ! lid t x has f9ally bl[n (f4 ,b always ^! /orms h cle>$ ! air1 & aft]w>d !y h come clos] to ea* o!r ?an be=e4 ,m>riage1 = !m bo?1 is ! great c5tral core ( life--focus ( love1 fai?1 & joy4 ,9 spite ( all t appe>s 9 ! tabloid newspap]s1 ! ,*>les-&-,anna type ( m>riage is f> m typical ?an ! exp]i5ces ( ! o!r f\r c\ples ^: /ories h j be5 sket*$4 ,9 almo/ e m>riage !re are ri* values to be pres]v$ & possibilities ( deep] & full] joy ?an h ev] be5 a*iev$4 ,our purpose 9 ?is article is to po9t out "s ( ! practical /eps :i* c be tak5 by c\ples :o d h fall+s out1 to elim9ate friction1 to keep love alive1 & to discov] ! deep] & wid] happ9ess :i* might be !irs4 ,five ,ways ,to ,g ,no matt] :at crisis "o confronts 9 life1 !re are ! foll[+ five possible ways ( react+3 #a4 ,"o may acquiesce ignobly4 ,t means to give 9 weakly1 to take x ly+ d[n1 z ! boys say4 ,if "o is disappo9t$ 9 "o's wife or "o's husb&1 if "o's sex life 9 m>riage is a failure1 if "o's 9-laws intrude disa/r\sly1 if "o's mate foll[s loves outside ( m>riage1 or if any o!r cata/rophe ov]takes "o's home1 "o c give way to hopeless lam5tation & self-pity3 ,!re's no?+ ,i c d ab\t x4 ,x's j a rott5 _w4 ,nobody ev] gives me a dec5t *ance4 ,i suppose ,i've got to live along & pret5d ,i don't c>e4 ,poor me6 #b4 ,"o may evade crav5ly4 ,t means to run away l a c[>d4 ,_m divorces are simply a bl9d & frantic attempt to escape f suff]+4 ,"s divorces1 ( c\rse1 are ! be/ possible solution ( a bad situation4 ,b q (t5 ! p]sons seek+ ! divorce are really try+ to run away f !mselves4 ,!y h nev] le>n$ h[ to live 9 fri5dly happ9ess ) o!r p4 ,if !y m>ry aga91 !y w promptly f9d !mselves 9 new suff]+ because !y h nev] solv$ ! basic problems ( _! own p]sonalities4 ,sometimes ! c[>dly evasion is m5tal in/ead ( physical4 ,! husb& or wife retires into a private _w & puts up an icy b>ri] aga9/ ! p>tn]4 ,9 any case ?is type ( solution is a bl9d attempt to run away f ! problem in/ead ( fac+ x bravely1 try+ to und]/& x1 & seek+ ! wise/ & be/ solution possible4 #c4 ,"o may attack v9dictively4 ,mo/ husb&s & wives :o are skidd+ t[>d divorce h conv9c$ !mselves t _! m>riage p>tn]s are villa9s4 ,?is p]son ,i m>ri$ is to blame4 ,he is selfi%1 he>tless1 cruel1 disloyal1 lazy1 & na/y4 ,he has hurt me t]ribly1 b ,i'll get ev54 ,i'm go+ to make him suff] ! way he's made me suff]4 ,i'll %[ him t he c't d t to me6 #d4 ,"o may grapple c\rage\sly4 ,?is means to look ! situation squ>ely 9 ! face1 to /udy x calmly1 op5-m9d$ly1 & ?or\ghly4 ,x means to discov] ! real causes = ! disa/]1 to take an inv5tory ( all ! possible res\rces1 & !n delib]ately & bravely to *oose :atev] l9e ( action seems mo/ likely to lead up out ( ! swamp onto high] gr\nd4 ,9 any problem :i* we face1 "s ( ! conditions are almo/ completely beyond our control4 ,"o _c d mu*1 = example1 to *ange ! k9d ( "m :om "o's husb& has _h1 to rev]se 8 inh]it$ *>act]i/ics1 or to cure ! economic depression aga9/ :i* he may h to /ruggle4 ,b c]ta9 o!r conditions "o c *ange4 ,especially1 if "o w1 "o c alt] "o's own ways ( act+1 ( talk+1 & ev5 ( ?9k+4 ,! c\rage\s grappl] accepts )\t despair ! un*angeable factors 9 8 problem & sets ab\t correct+ ! conditions :i* are )9 8 control--especially 8 own patt]ns ( liv+4 #e4 ,"o may coop]ate creatively4 ,?is means t "o w /ill grapple c\rage\sly1 b n z a lone wolf4 ,"o w seek to und]/& ! o!r p :o are involv$3 "o's husb& or wife1 "o's *ildr51 "o's relatives1 "o's rivals1 & all ! o!r p :o h any "p or int]e/ 9 ! family problem4 ,to und]/& means to be able to see ! situation sympa!tically ?r\gh _! eyes1 b )\t los+ p]spective4 ,coop]at+ creatively means teamwork4 ,x means discov]+ :at is ! be/ solution = ev]ybody involv$1 & !n work+ :olehe>t$ly t[>d t solution4 ,! re/ ( ?is article is devot$ to outl9+ "s practical /eps t[>d coop]at+ creatively :5 "o has fall5 out ) "o's m>riage p>tn]4 ,if y y\rself are confront+ difficulties 9 y\r m>riage1 y may f9d x helpful to note d[n ea* ( ! foll[+ /eps on a %eet ( pap] & !n write 9 aft] ea* /ep ! applications t fit y\r own case4 ,see :e!r y c transpose ^! sugge/ions into ! t]ms ( y\r problem4 ,if y />t ?9k+ ab\t :at y face1 9 ! light ( ^! /eps1 y w probably f9d new ideas & fre% possibilities com+ into y\r m9d z y write4 ,^? solutions :i* spr+ up 9 y\r own ?9k+ may prove to be j ! aids :i* y ne$ to get a new grip & to />t trans=m+ y\r m>riage into a ?+ ( new beauty1 joy1 & p[]4 ,t5 ,/eps ,to ,m>ital ,adju/m5t #a4 ,ab&on all feel+s ( res5tm5t4 ,emotional antagonism t[>d "o's mate1 or t[>d o!r p]sonalities 9 ! problem1 acts z an effective b>ri] aga9/ f9d+ ! creative solution & aga9/ putt+ x into effect4 ,:at y hate y _c und]/&1 because y are ready to believe all evil ( x1 & unprep>$ to p]ceive its good4 ,!re=e surr5d] all grudges1 jeal\sies1 & feel+s ( contempt4 ,emotions ( enmity di/ort "o's vision & impel "o t[>d actions & words t are n wise4 ,:5 "o p]son feels res5tm5t aga9/ ano!r1 ! o!r is likely to feel res5tm5t 9 return4 ,?is int5sifies ! fir/ res5tm5t1 & s ! hatr$ gr[s4 ,someone has to break ! vici\s cycle4 ,don't wait = y\r m>riage mate to take ! fir/ /ep if ?is joy-de/roy+ process has />t$ 9 y\r home4 ,=give & =get4 ,let good w take ! place ( antagonism 9 y\r own consci\sness1 ev5 ?\gh y\r mate cont9ues to c>ry on ! old grudge = a :ile4 #b4 ,elim9ate ne$less irritants & antagoniz]s4 ,make a c>eful & ?or\gh /udy ( ! ?+s t are hurt+1 di/ress+1 or ?w>t+ y\r mate4 ,"h is a *eck li/ :i* includes "s ( ! mo/ frequ5t annoy]s 9 m>ri$ life4 ,/op criticiz+ y\r mate--above all 9 ! pres5ce ( o!r p1 b also 9 private4 ,c>efully avoid e action or situation :i* makes y\r mate feel inf]ior1 or :i* br+s him unnecess>y failures1 ev5 9 small ?+s4 ,don't insi/ on play+ bridge if he a poor play]2 don't cultivate witty conv]sations ) brilliant p if he feels l a dub 9 su* company2 don't ?r[ him into contra/ ) p :o are /rong]1 m successful1 or bett] educat$ ?an he2 avoid ^? situations 9 :i* y demon/rate y\r own sup]iority ov] him4 ,/udy to elim9ate ! topics ( conv]sation :i* are annoy+ to him3 /op br++ up ! subject ( 8 %iftless relatives1 ! "t he w5t bankrupt1 ! occasion on :i* he made a fool ( himself1 or t political or religi\s "q on :i* y always qu>rel4 ,replace ^? items ( h\sehold equipm5t :i* keep caus+ unnecess>y pa91 labor1 & irritation3 t leaky faucet1 t worn-out wa%+ ma*9e1 t brok5 light swit*1 t a/hmatic vacuum sweep]1 t torn rug1 t decrepit sn[ %ovel1 t ready-to-be-junk$ lawn m[]4 ,avoid inflict+ unnecess>ily on y\r mate p or pa/imes :i* bore him4 ,don't drag him to teas or to conc]ts or to prize fights if ^! ev5ts pa9 & torture him4 ,=m ! habit ( keep+ all appo9tm5ts ) y\r mate on ! punctual m9ute4 ,b 7unju/ z ?is may seem7 d n dem& t y\r mate d likewise4 ,nev] read at ! table unless y\r mate also has some?+ int]e/+ to read & agrees to ! arrangem5t4 ,br+ y\r mate into contact ) y\r relatives s infrequ5tly & "u su* favorable circum/ances t _! lik+ = ea* o!r w fl\ri% r ?an p]i%4 ,d n try t dang]\s exp]im5t ( flirt+ ) someone else 9 ord] to keep y\r mate int]e/$ 9 y4 ,nev] repulse y\r mate's sexual advances 9 a way :i* w seem unlov+1 contemptu\s1 or irritat$4 ,if y _c respond fully at ! mom5t1 be sure t y express unmi/akably y\r respect1 y\r affection1 & y\r comrade%ip1 & make x cle> t ! necess>y sexual d5ial is a m]e po/ponem5t4 ,wat* to see :e!r y are ne$lessly violat+ y\r mate's ideals ( c\rtesy1 dec5cy1 good sportman%ip1 g5]osity1 or honor4 ,see :e!r y c discov] any o!r way 9 :i* y h be5 unnecess>ily irritat+ or hurt+ y\r mate1 & make a clean break ) t joy-de/roy+ habit4 #c4 ,f9d ways to d new joyful ?+s toge!r1 ev5 9 seem+ly trivial ways4 ,! long *eck li/ "u item #b is l>gely negative4 ,add ! positive side4 ,buy y\r mate little pres5ts--f ! t5-c5t /ore & occasionally f m exp5sive places4 ,make a private li/ ( ! small ?+s t please him mo/ 7yell[ jonquils1 ,olivia de ,havill&1 dipp$ c>amels1 picnics1 *ick5 pie1 ,bill ,smi?1 ice-box snacks1 ,bee?ov5 records1 be/-sell] novels1 !atre p>ties1 grape juice ) g+] ale1 odd *9a1 or :atev] !y are7 & make a habit ( spr++ small b delightful surprises4 ,cultivate ! fri5dly little family jokes t gr[ up :]ev] p enjoy ea* o!r intimately4 #d4 ,h *ildr5 toge!r if y possibly c4 ,h !m delib]ately1 by mutual agreem5t4 ,h z _m z y\r mate c :olehe>t$ly agree to1 & ?r[ y\rselves into ! great adv5ture ( giv+ !m ! be/ possible />t 9 life4 ,rememb] t ! f9e/ ?+s y c give y\r *ildr5 are c\rage1 self-respect1 fai?1 und]/&+ ( beauty1 comrade%ip1 & ! eag] desire to s]ve _! fell[m54 ,^! great end[m5ts c be giv5 to "o's sons & daught]s ev5 ?\gh "o has a sev]e /ruggle to give !m good clo!s & an education4 ,(t5 ! f9ancially h>d-press$ give _! "y a f> ri*] h]itage ?an d ^? :o are weal?y b neglectful4 #e4 ,und]/& y\r mate4 ,set ab\t t job z ?\gh y\r life dep5d$ on x4 ,y\r m>ri$ life & its happ9ess d dep5d on x4 ,und]/&+ "o's wife or husb& is f> m important ?an e>n+ a college degree--& ev5 m ?rill+ & absorb+1 if "o goes ab\t x 9 ! "r way4 ,sp5d "t alone1 quietly1 affectionately1 & dispassionately ?9k+ ab\t y\r mate4 ,:at h be5 8 great emotional exp]i5ces 9 life8 ,:at are ! ma9 drives t det]m9e 8 ways ( act+8 ,:at are 8 deepe/ aspirations & long+s8 ,:at are 8 unrealiz$ possibilities8 ,:at are ! ?+s t h mo/ ?w>t$ him & kept him f a*iev+ :at he has hop$ to d8 ,sometimes ! process ( und]/&+ oneself & "o's mate calls = exp]t help4 ,skill$ m>riage c\nselors are available increas+ly 9 our l>g] cities 7b be sure to g only to ^? :o h demon/rat$ _! skill & tra9+ by help+ o!r p :om y "k & help+ !m ov] a consid]able p]iod ( "t74 ,sometimes magaz9e articles w help4 ,excell5t books on m>riage & family life are available at public libr>ies4 #f4 ,discuss y\r vital family problems ) y\r mate frankly1 b d n argue endlessly4 ,if !re are t5sions 9 y\r m>ri$ life1 br+ !m into ! op51 hone/ly & c\rage\sly4 ,don't try to conv]t y\r mate to y\r po9t ( view2 try to und]/& 8 po9t ( view4 ,try to und]/& ea* o!r4 ,b aft] y h cle>$ ! air & %>$ y\r ideas & y\r problems d n reha% & repeat & g back ov] & ov] aga9 until y are bo? we>y & rebelli\s4 ,m>riage is a p>tn]%ip1 n a debat+ society4 #g4 ,discov] areas ( agreem5t1 & develop toge!r jo9t programs ( action on :i* y c "w toge!r en?usia/ically4 ,! projects & purposes ( a husb& & wife (t5 conflict ev5 :5 _! desires & motives are 9 h>mony4 ,v well1 g back ( ! purposes to ! und]ly+ desires1 & build new projects & purposes on :i* y c unite4 ,suppose t "o ( y wants to g to ! movie d[n on ! corn] & ! o!r j hates ! idea4 ,v well2 t is a conflict4 ,b if y se>* op5-m9d$ly1 y w probably f9d "s und]ly+ agreem5t4 ,p]haps1 ?\gh y disagree ab\t ?is p>ticul> movie1 y bo? are crav+ to see "s good movie2 & if y look up ! adv]tisem5ts1 y c f9d "o t w delight y bo?4 ,or p]haps ! ess5tial desires ( ea* w be fulfill$ be/ if y /ay home tonight to cat* up on y\r sleep1 & !n g to a movie tomorr[ night4 ,or p]haps "o ( y dislikes ! idea ( any movie at all1 b bo? ( y want to g out = ! ev5+2 !n d\btless y c f9d "s o!r ent]ta9m5t t w satisfy bo?4 ,some:]e1 back ( ! surface disagreem5t1 lies a deep] agreem5t if y w seek x pati5tly & lov+ly4 ,& ?is applies n only to a little dispute ov] movies1 b to all ! great] controv]sies t husb& & wife confront4 ,:]e %all we move8 ,h[ %all we get along on ! family income8 ,:at religi\s tra9+ %all we give ! *ildr58 ,%all ,m>y be p]mitt$ to h t ,jones boy come to ! h\se8 ,no matt] h[ p]plex+ ! disagreem5t may be1 !re is a be/ possible solution = all conc]n$ if we w seek x und]/&+ly & 9 ! _s ( love4 #h4 ,surr5d] noness5tials4 ,_m a m>riage has gone to sma% because husb& or wife or bo? clung z a matt] ( pr9ciple to a po9t :i* c\ld easily h be5 giv5 up & =gott5 if bo? _h c5t]$ on ! great und]ly+ ess5tials4 ,d n acquiesce ignobly on vital matt]s4 ,b d n wreck y\r own happ9ess & t ( y\r mate ov] "s comp>atively m9or issue t 0 nev] wor? ! te>s & ! agony :i* x caus$4 #i4 ,agree to live & let live4 ,cultivate fre$om = y\r mate1 y\r *ildr51 & all ! p involv$ 9 y\r family problems4 ,to be oneself is "o ( ! mo/ preci\s rights ( a human be+4 ,we ne$ x = ! fulfillm5t ( our own life4 ,our lov$ ones ne$ t same fre$om = ! fulfillm5t ( _! lives4 ,n[1 fre$om is n defiance ( law1 b volunt>y fulfillm5t ( law4 ,! bett] we und]/& ea* o!r & ! laws ( life1 ! m likely we are to f9d t fre$om :i* br+s ! fullness ( joy4 ,by "o ( ^? /range p>adoxes1 we nev] fully w9 ! love ( our de> ones until we cease dem&+ x4 #aj4 ,put ! welf>e ( y\r family fir/1 & /op frett+ ab\t y\rself4 ,al?\gh ?is rule comes la/ 9 our li/1 x really comes fir/ 9 ! se>* = fulfillm5t ( p]sonality 9 family life4 ,:at d y really want f y\r mate & y\r *ildr58 ,are y aft] com=t1 security1 affection = y\rself8 ,or d y want1 above all ?+s1 t ^! lov$ comrades ( y\rs %all f9d ! road to ! abundant life--%all exp]i5ce ri*ly & gr[ fully1 until !y f9d _! true places 9 ! ma/] patt]n ( our _w adv5ture8 ,answ] t "q hone/ly4 ,live up to y\r real decision4 ,& if ) all y\r he>t y seek ! joy ( ^! o!rs1 y\r love w be met ) ! high tide ( love1 & ev5 out ( angui% y w w9 y\r way into ! mean+ & ! glory ( exi/5ce4 ,frances ,bruce ,/ra9 ,,*apt] ,,n9e ,sex ,in/ruction 9 ! ,home ,a "y woman :o has won a place = h]self z an arti/ tells ! /ory ( h] fir/ nude draw+4 ,%e 0 ( sc>cely m ?an k9d]g>t5 age :51 "o day be=e supp]1 h] fancy produc$ a sket* ( h] t5-ye>-old bro!r 9 nature's own attire4 ,pleas$ ) ! result1 %e took x to ! supp] table & gave x to him--,a picture ,i made ( y4 ,bro!r look$1 glanc$ swiftly at ,"m1 & />t$ to pocket ! sket*4 ,"m said1 "m-fa%ion1 ,let me see x1 & !n1 aft] see+1 also />t$ to slip ! picture out ( sight4 ,fa!r held out 8 h&4 ,let's h a look4 ,ar\nd ! table ! draw+ pass$ f h& to h&4 ,no "o prais$1 no "o spoke1 no "o smil$4 ,:5 "o ( ! y\ng] *ildr5 />t$ to say some?+1 he 0 abruptly told to eat 8 supp]4 ,heavy hung ! weight ( unexpla9$ guilt ov] ! five-ye>-old arti/4 ,aft] ! meal h] "m took h] quietly aside & said1 ,:5 y draw a picture ( a boy1 y don't h to draw ev]y?+6 ,x 0 ye>s1 ! arti/ confess$1 be=e ,i c\ld draw1 com=tably1 a male nude4 ,_m ( ! "y m5 & wom5 among our read]s1 :o are conc]n$ ) love & m>riage1 h und\bt$ly become aw>e ( inn] h&icaps ( _! own--h&icaps ( ?\ght & feel+ :i* !y recognize z _! h]itage f a g5]ation ( o!r-m9d$ness 9 reg>d to matt]s ( sex4 ,!re 7 sil5ces t caus$ wond]+s1 puni%m5ts t 7 n und]/ood1 prohibitions :i* built up timidities1 ov] a long zigzag trail ( unre/ & fe> ?r\gh *ildhood up to maturity4 ,we he> "y p say because ( _! own exp]i5ce1 ,i'll see to x t my *ildr5 don't g ?r\gh :at ,i w5t ?r\gh4 ,& !y d see to x4 ,mo!rs ( s*ool-age *ildr51 ( k9d]g>t5 & nurs]y-age *ildr51 mo!rs ( babies1 ev5 mo!rs 9 _! fir/ pregnancies1 come ) _! que/ions 9 ord] t !y may />t "r4 ,at :at age d y beg9 expla9+ life to *ildr58 ,h[ mu* d y tell8 ,h[ mu* d y expla9 _! own gr[+-up *anges8 ,h[ d y keep !m f talk+ to o!rs8 ,does tell+ lead to try+ out ?+s ) ea* o!r8 ,my little girl doesn't ask que/ions--h[ make h] heal?ily curi\s8 ,my little boy has a bad habit--h[ deal ) x8 ,^! are repres5tative que/ions1 & !y /rike deep into ! he>t ( education z we see x today1 = sex education is no long] m]ely a matt] ( biological in/ruction4 ,k ( human reproduction is an ess5tial 9 e in/ance1 ( c\rse4 ,x is ! basic sci5ce back ( ! :ole sexual life4 ,b j z ! physical aspects ( m>riage are = m5 & wom5 today subord9ate to ! psy*ic & intellectual aspects1 s 9 a sex-education program1 especially "o 9 ! home1 biological in=mation is f> f be+ ! elem5t ( greate/ importance4 ,m significant is ! guidance & nurture ( ! emotional life ( y\r *ildr5--_! emotional natures z a :ole1 & especially ^? aspects ( _! emotional natures :i* h _! roots 9 ! sexual impulse4 ,fru/rations ( *ildhood1 failures1 hurts1 jeal\sies1 mis9t]pretations ( *ildi% love affairs1 play episodes = :i* society has su* swift puni%m5t1 cl&e/9e sex k--^! are ! exp]i5ces :i* leave _! blight on ! lat] love responses4 ,life z a :ole ) its conv5tions & social codes does n pres5t an op5 highway to ! goal ( sexual maturity4 ,b =w>d-look+ p>5ts c1 by grant+ k1 und]/&+1 & a sympa!tic int]pretation ( ! v>i\s ph5om5a ( ! sexual life1 prev5t _m ( ! haz>ds ( ! pa/ & provide a bett] assurance ( happ9ess = _! *ildr54 ,because ! biological aspects ( sex tea*+ are concrete1 some?+ "o c lay hold ( 9 a tangible way1 we %all consid] !m fir/4 ,!re is no set age to beg9 sex education4 ,!re is no set place to /op4 ,!re is a "t to beg91 & t "t is indicat$ by any express$ int]e/ on ! "p ( y\r "y son or daught]--a "q1 a comm5t1 an obs]vation1 a wi%4 ,! "t to /op is :5 8 int]e/ /ops4 ,don't run on ahead ( him4 ,usually int]e/ is /imulat$ by "s incid5t 9 ! neighborhood or at s*ool--a tank ( "y guppies1 a ne/ ( baby mice 9 someone's cell>1 a new baby home f ! hospital1 a ^w 9 ! newspap]4 ,) _m v "y *ildr51 conc]n ab\t _! own orig9 seems to arise spontane\sly4 ,:]e did ,i come f1 ,"m8 ,x is a natural "q1 yet x has a c]ta9 my/ical quality1 com+ z x does f )9 & rea*+ back into ! unkn[n4 ,! greate/ numb] ( que/ions arise betwe5 ! ages ( f\r & six4 ,aft] s*ool entrance1 que/ions rec$e gradually until by ! n9?1 t5?1 or elev5? ye> *ildr5 h rea*$ :at is call$ ! que/ionless age4 ,?is is n an indiff]5t age--q ! opposite--b spontane\s que/ions are less frequ5t4 ,possibly !y are cr[d$ out by o!r int]e/s1 possibly bits ( desultory in=mation satisfy = ! mom5t2 & !re is always ! gradual adoption ( retic5ce :i* takes place z *ildr5 gr[ old]4 ,at adolesc5ce !re is a ke5 revival ( int]e/ b m resi/ance to op5 family discussion ?an 9 ! pre-adolesc5t age4 ,matur+ *ildr5 are t\*y1 s5sitive1 self-consci\s1 mode/1 seclusive4 ,!y run to cov] at too intimate a topic1 especially 9 ! h&s ( adults :o are incl9$ to /rike a wrong note2 to be prea*y & tea*y & inquisitive &1 9 t]ms ( ! "y adolesc5ts !mselves1 too d>n sexy6 ,no matt] :at ! age1 :e!r pre-s*ool1 elem5t>y s*ool1 or high s*ool1 if que/ions are ask$ or int]e/ is %[n1 explanations are giv5 9 accordance ) ! age1 und]/&+1 & g5]al backgr\nd ( ! *ild4 ,! que/ions t *ildr5 ask are z ! s&s ( ! sea1 yet sift$ & analyz$1 !y reveal a fairly uni=m /ructure on :i* "o may build4 ,x is a f\rsqu>e /ructure ( pregnancy1 bir?1 f]tilization1 & mat+1 9 ! ord] nam$4 ,!y />t ) a concrete situation--,:]e did ,mrs4 ,holmes get h] baby8--& ! ?ree o!rs foll[ 9 logical sequ5ce4 ,( c\rse1 ! patt]n v>ies some:at4 ,well1 :]e did ,mrs4 ,holmes get h] baby8 ,y "k & ,i "k1 yet ! ?\ght ( gett+ x all said to ?is "y *]ub 9 a br[n sn[suit makes u a bit flutt]y4 ,we didn't ?9k t x w\ld4 ,oh1 ! baby4 ,all babies gr[ inside _! mo!rs4 ,h[ unbelievably simple6 ,no birds or bees or butt]flies1 or se$s plant$ "u mo!rs' he>ts4 ,j all babies gr[ inside _! mo!rs4 ,six words4 ,( c\rse y may t\* up ! /ory4 ,y w n want to leave x s />k & b>e4 ,!y gr[ 9 a little place j made = !m to gr[ 94 ,x's 9 "h1 ! place is1 9 mo!rs1 & y give a fri5dly pat aga9/ y\r side4 ,_m *ildr5 ask :]e ! place is1 & _m ?9k x is ! /oma*4 ,o!r *ildr5 h said s4 ,! place is call$ ! ut]us1 u-t-e-r-u-s1 & is a little sac t /ret*es z ! baby gr[s4 ,y don't h to say all ?is4 ,:e!r y d or n dep5ds ^u y\r *ild4 ,"s *ildr51 ! y\ng] ones1 may let y (f ) a ^w4 ,o!rs mu/ h m detail4 ,x's all an individual matt]4 ,anyway1 y keep on answ]+ z long z ! que/ions come1 & no long]4 7,sometimes en?usiasm runs away ) u47 ,we ne$ n be surpris$1 once ! matt] ( pregnancy is e/abli%$1 to be confront$ ) a swift second "q1 ,h[ does ! baby get out ( ! "m8 ,sure en\gh1 h[ does he8 ,ab\t five ye>s ago ,i put ?is "q to a class ( high-s*ool-s5ior girls & reque/$ writt5 answ]s4 ,!y are born2 !y leave ! "m ?r\gh an op5+2 !y come f ! "m 9 "s way--^! 7 ! be/ answ]s4 ,mo/ ( ! o!rs read1 ,i'm unc]ta9 ab\t x2 x's v hazy 9 my m9d2 ,i wi% y w\ld expla9 exactly2 ,i've always wond]$2 & s on4 ,an explanation ( ! process ( bir? is ! second f\ndation squ>e ( ! :ole /ructure4 ,pregnancy is ! fir/4 ,"o dep5ds ^u ! o!r1 s we say3 ,9 e "m !re is a passage t leads f ! place :]e ! baby is gr[+4 ,:5 ! baby is ready to live by himself z a sep>ate little p]son1 he is br\ght d[n ! passage & out ?r\gh an op5+ into ! _w4 ,?is com+ into ! _w is call$ be+ born4 ,ano!r ^w = ! same ?+ is 'bir?4' ,y\r bir?day is y\r be+-born day4 ,_m mo!rs l to adopt a bit ( drama t c be done ) ! h&s & arms to illu/rate _! v]bal explanations4 ,! pantomime makes ! /ory simpl] & helps relieve self-consci\sness4 ,suppose ! baby gr[s 9 "h1 y say1 cupp+ y\r h&s toge!r ) ! wri/s /raight & p>allel4 ,betwe5 my wri/s is ! passageway lead+ to ! outside4 ,:5 ! baby is ready to be born1 ! passageway wid5s & lets ! baby ?r\gh4 ,x's a good deal l swall[+1 only ! o!r way ar\nd4 ,y\r food slips d[n a passage into y\r /oma*1 out ( sight4 ,! baby slips d[n a passage into sight6 ,!re is y\r /ory ( bir? 9 a nut%ell4 ,little boys & girls1 too1 are (t5 tr\bl$ at ! ?\ght ( bir?4 ,x seems an impossible feat4 ,s y expla9 ! contraction ( ! muscles1 ! size ( a newborn baby--ab\t z big z y\r ,molly ,l\ doll--! position ( ! baby--all fold$ up l a little ,jack-9-!-box4 ,mo/ consci5ti\sly y leave an impression ( ! naturalness ( ! bir? process4 ,n = worlds w\ld y create any feel+ ( di/ress or anxiety4 ,nei!r d y1 z ! "m1 seek to appropriate all ! laurels4 ,! *ildr5 d n owe y love & ob$i5ce because ( :at y w5t ?r\gh = !m1 & t is ! reason ,i love y s leaves fa!r a bit out 9 ! cold4 ,no1 bir? %\ld n be pres5t$ z a sacrifice or an ordeal1 b z a fulfillm5t1 a joy\s fulfillm5t :i* "m & fa!r toge!r %>e4 ,! two rema9+ f\ndation squ>es1 f]tilization & mat+1 take m c\rage to answ]4 ,!y /rike s closely into ! he>t ( exi/+ relation%ips4 ,y are fe>ful1 too1 t ! k w be misus$1 t x w lead to sex play & exp]im5tation4 ,y don't "k h[ to phrase ! answ] anyway4 ,!re are "s ?+s y j c't put into words6 ,let's see if "o c't1 & mu* m simply ?an y imag9e4 ,y\r ,philip1 or ,philippa1 :o has j le>n$ t babies gr[ 9 _! mo!rs1 says3 ,i wond] :at makes ! babies />t4 ,h[ d !y get 9 _! mo!rs 9 ! fir/ place8 ,babies are n babies f ! v />t1 y answ]4 ,!y h to gr[ be=e !y are born j z y gr[ n[ aft] y are born4 ,ea* baby />ts at fir/ f ! union ( two t9y p>ticles ( liv+ matt] call$ cells4 ,"o cell is 9 ! fa!r1 "o is 9 ! "m4 ,^! two p>ticles mu/ come toge!r & unite away up 9 ! "m :]e ! baby is to gr[4 ,:5 !y d1 !n ! baby beg9s to take =m4 ,n[ = ! next /ep1 mat+4 ,no1 x's n s difficult at all if y h n neglect$ to build up a f\ndation = x z y w5t along4 ,= an und]/&+ ( ! act ( mat+1 ! *ildr5 mu/ fir/ be famili> ) ! diff]5ces 9 body /ructure--t boys h an out] organ1 & ! girls h a long1 sl5d] inn] passage4 ,k ( ! fir/ !y acquir$ 9 ! come-&-g ( daily home association2 ( ! second1 :5 !y le>n$ h[ a baby 0 born4 ,9 a discussion ( mat+1 x takes usually j ! m]e/ ref]5ce to ^! /ructural diff]5ces = *ildr5 to see imm$iately ! me*anics ( mat+4 ,yes1 ^! two p>ts fit closely toge!r s t ! fa!r cells 7sp]m cells7 are able to pass ov] to ! "m & up to ! place :]e ! baby is to gr[4 ,to _m ?is w seem a v cold1 />k1 & inadequate pres5tation ( a deeply psy*ic exp]i5ce4 ,9 ^! fir/ explanations ( human reproduction1 pregnancy1 bir?1 f]tilization1 & mat+1 ,i believe x w\ld be out ( place to try to br+ ab\t any consid]able aw>5ess ( ei!r ! s5su\s or ! emotional involvem5ts 9 ! act ( procreation4 ,t k comes lat]4 ,b ! feel+ :i* all our fir/ tea*+ conveys is important4 ,x is especially important 9 relation to ! ?ree major exp]i5ces1 pregnancy1 bir?1 & mat+1 ab\t :i* s mu* resi/ance has c5t]$ 9 ! pa/4 ,our tea*+ %\ld c>ry ) x a natural acquiesc5ce to ,nature's own plan1 r ?an any outw>d expression ( our own m5tal philosophy t[>d x4 ,mo/ *ildr51 giv5 a k ( ! basic facts ( reproduction1 usually grant !m a ready & happy acceptance4 ,^? p>5ts :o met _! *ildr5's que/ions & o!r expressions ( int]e/ z !y arose1 & also ^? :o 7 n able to1 seek1 z junior-high-s*ool days approa*1 ! assurance t _! *ildr5 are ready = t wid] exp]i5ce4 ,i don't "k h[ mu* %e kn[s--%e doesn't say any?+1 & %e doesn't want me to4 ,c]ta9ly ! la/ ?+ "o does is to probe or "q4 ,if y h reason to feel t some?+ mu/ be done1 y may g ab\t x 9 sev]al ways3 #a4 ,y may take ! initiative by introduc+ into family conv]sation "s topic ( curr5t int]e/ :i* w promote que/ions--incubator babies1 ! ,dionne qu9tuplets1 *ild m>riages1 ! rec5t ?irte5-ye>-old fa!r4 #b4 ,pets are m>vel\s biological laboratories--:ite mice1 rabbits1 puppies1 snakes1 turtles4 ,( c\rse !re mu/ be mates & mat+s4 #c4 ,well-*os5 books1 n only sex-education books1 b simple biologies & ,nature books z well1 op5 up ?\ght & discussion4 #d4 ,visits to ! zoological g>d5s1 to natural-hi/ory museums & art gall]ies1 are valuable tea*+ exp]i5ces4 ,if ! subject is n m>r$ by too mu* realism or s5tim5t or moraliz+1 old] *ildr5 w respond ) int]e/ to a discussion ( human reproduction4 ,ev5 :5 a *ild is approa*able1 if y\r own emotional balance is insecure1 x is1 p]haps1 well to "w out ^! objective & tangible activities ) ! *ildr51 z ) a fell[ /ud5t4 ,! jo9t int]e/ is a way ( a*iev+ 9 ! end great] poise = y\rself4 ,be=e we leave ! subject ( ! biological aspects ( sex tea*+1 a ^w conc]n+ prep>ation = matur+4 ,9 g5]al1 exp]i5ce %[s t explanations ( ! outw>d ph5om5a :i* m>k ! onset ( adolesc5ce--m5/ruation & sem9al emissions--%\ld be made to bo? boys & girls long be=e !y are likely to occur--at t51 surely1 or ev5 e>li] if que/ions arise4 ,_m *ildr5 become acqua9t$ ) !m ?r\gh old] *ildr5 at s*ool & receive n too pleasant impressions4 ,9 pre-adolesc5ce ! :ole matt] c be pres5t$ s t x is accept$ objectively & imp]sonally4 ,) bo? boys & girls !re is (t5 a feel+ ( prideful expectancy1 & "s day y may expect to he> a joyful ann\ncem5t1 ,"m1 oh1 ,"m--x's come6 ,at ?is po9t ,i %\ld l no?+ bett] ?an to leave our tea*+ to d its own good "w = ! *ildr54 ,b 9 ! m9ds ( p>5ts !re is an ev] recurr+ anxiety--! use to :i* ! *ildr5 w put ?is new k4 ,ideas are n1 we "k1 soporific4 ,!y t5d to translate !mselves into action4 ,w ! *ildr5 talk8 ,& won't !y />t exp]im5t+8 ,! matt] ( talk+ outside is rapidly tak+ c>e ( itself ?r\gh ! g5]al adoption ( sex-education tea*+ by mo/ "y p>5ts4 ,nobody runs ar\nd tell+ :at ev]yone kn[s4 ,x has become a commonplace4 ,occasionally "o may caution "y s*ool-age *ildr5 n to say mu* to ! o!r *ildr51 b if !y d 9 _! en?usiasm or 9 a casual mom5t1 no great h>m is done4 ,c]ta9ly "o does n puni% = x4 ,*ildr5 :o are ov]weight$ ei!r ) too mu* sex k or ) fe>s & cautions are usually ! neighborhood (f5d]s4 ,"o fa!r rec5tly told me t he didn't d>e give 8 son ! usual t]ms = 8 reproductive organs because he w\ld g /raight out & %\t !m f ! h\setops4 ,z a matt] ( fact1 t 0 j :at ! boy 0 do+ ) ! sub/itute t]ms4 ,realiz+ t a wood5 gun is z good z a real "o :5 x fright5s ev]ybody1 ! *ild us$ 8 sub/itute t]ms to %ock 8 fa!r & ! _w at l>ge4 ,9 reality1 !re are no sub/itute t]ms4 ,ev]yone kn[s !m = :at !y are1 & 9 addition z confessions ( weak c\rage4 ,mod]n sex tea*+ is fill+ ! great ne$ ( o!r days 9 its adoption ( correct t]ms = ! functions ( ! body & its organs z !y apply to elim9ation & reproduction4 ,x is an in=mal sort ( ?+ :i* comes along l a little companion ( ! m important topics4 ,/range t s mu* t is visible %\ld g nameless1 :ile hidd5 ?+s l he>t & /oma* & lungs %\ld be kn[n6 ,a "y five-ye>-old :o ador$ 8 pretty nurs]y-s*ool tea*] took con/ant note ( ! beauties ( h] p]son4 ,h] eyes 7 s blue & h] hair 0 s wavy & h] ?roat 0 s smoo?1 & :5 %e b5t ov]1 y c\ld see h] lungs6 ,9 all ?is provision = y\r *ildr5's und]/&+1 "o ?+ we c\nsel aga9/4 ,x is ! *oice ( ano!r p]son--fri5d1 nurse1 m9i/]1 doctor--to take y\r place1 unless t p]son has _h special sex-education tra9+ & possesses ^? p]sonal qualifications :i* fit him = ! task4 ,a sci5tific backgr\nd is n en\gh4 ,9 ! ne> future we %all h college-tra9$ lead]s1 n only tra9$ b college-sanction$ & select$4 ,until t "t !re is no lay p]son s well qualifi$ to tea* *ildr5 z _! own intellig5t fa!rs & mo!rs4 ,!y are able to e/abli% a valu$ inn] & progressive bond ( confid5ce :5 _! tea*+ has be5 happily & wisely c>ri$ out4 ,aft] all1 9 ?is age ( transition :5 s mu* is c\nt$ good t once 0 c\nt$ bad1 & s mu* c\nt$ bad t 0 once good1 x doesn't matt] mu* :at our words are s long z !y convey reassurance1 dep5dability1 & a s5se ( ! rightness ( liv+ ) r ?an aga9/ ! be/ ( ,nature's plans4 ,does sex in/ruction t5d to />t misconduct--sugge/ to *ildr5 t !y undress ea* o!r1 play fa!r & "m1 & does x impel to too free spee* & behavior8 ,no1 on ! contr>y1 sex tea*+1 wisely c>ri$ on1 has prov$ itself to be ! be/ ( prev5tives4 ,x has a /abiliz+ influ5ce & leaves ! m9ds ( ! *ildr5 free to turn to o!r int]e/s4 ,my exp]i5ce %[s a high correlation betwe5 sex misconduct & lack ( adequate sex in/ruction4 ,usually 9 *ildhood1 sexual misconduct is n sexual at all 9 orig94 ,x has any numb] ( causes & any numb] ( guises4 ,mo/ frequ5t ( ! causes are3 seek+ to "k1 emotional /ress1 lack ( a good "t1 sex activity 9 o!rs1 premature sex exp]i5ce4 ,*ildr5 :o d n live 9 a cl\d ( my/]y1 ^: m5tal horizon has be5 cle>$ by simple explanations ( obs]vable facts--! diff]5ces 9 physical /ructure ( boys & girls1 = example--are n likely to be ! aggressors or ev5 onlook]s 9 any neighborhood undress+ episode4 ,x holds no?+ = !m4 ,on ! o!r h&1 a *ild may h a v cle> idea ( sex diff]5ces1 may h dress$ & undress$ freely ) si/] or bro!r1 & /ill be active 9 undress+ episodes z an emotional outlet4 ,"o su* boy 0 "m-b\nd4 ,he _h be5 br\ght up a goody-goody4 ,9 ord] to demon/rate t he 0 no sissy b a ?or\gh-go+ he-man ( elev51 he head$ a gang ( girl torm5tors4 ,sex misconduct z recreation1 z some?+ to d1 has a long record4 ,9 a dull & dispirit$ _w1 girls & boys f9d ! ?rill ( adv5ture 9 games1 clubs1 & play ( all k9ds1 ) sex 9 its mo/ unsavory =m z ! c5tral !me4 ,a little n9e-ye>-old :o _h be5 a frequ5t (f5d] 0 ask$ :at 9 all ! _w %e w\ld l mo/ to d4 ,promptly %e answ]$1 ,g roll]-skat+4 ,:i* w\ld y r d1 g roll]-skat+ or play 'fa!r & "m8' ,) %9+ eyes %e answ]$1 ,oh1 g roll]-skat+6 ,!re 0 no d\bt ( ?is *ild's s9c]ity1 no d\bt ( ! drab1 p9*$ quality ( h] meag] opportunity = *ildi% fun4 ,sex activity (t5 has its orig9 9 a home situation4 ,9 ^! days ( ap>tm5t dwell+ & ! cr[d+ toge!r ( _m families1 a *ild mu/ be v inatt5tive inde$ n to h ga!r$ ?r\gh conv]sation & obs]vation mu* fir/h& k ( ! adult sexual relation%ip4 ,*ildr5 %\ld1 ( c\rse1 be aw>e ( ! love ( _! fa!rs & mo!rs = ea* o!r z well z = !mselves1 b love-mak+ 9 its f9al =ms is baffl+ & di/urb+ to _! emotional natures1 & obs]vation ( x (t5 leads to sex misconduct4 ,! mo/ s]i\s type ( sex activity is t caus$ by a premature sexual exp]i5ce at ! h&s ( "s adult1 (t5 an eld]ly & tru/$ p]son4 ,ev5 if ! episode occurr$ b once1 & ! (f5d] left1 nev] to be se5 aga91 a psy*ic injury or trauma frequ5tly 7n always7 results & manife/s itself 9 obsessive sex behavior4 ,:5 premature sexual exp]i5ce is ! motivat+ factor 9 sex misconduct1 mo/ c>eful guidance is necess>y1 le/ ! future love life be endang]$4 ,aft] reliev+ ! *ild ( feel+s ( guilt1 ! conduct ( ! old] (f5d] mu/ be expla9$ 9 t]ms ( 8 s5ility or 8 m5tal /ate4 ,he is n normal4 ,he %\ld be 9 a hospital4 ,x is important t ?is p]son's abnormal conduct does n repres5t 9 ! *ild's m9d ! natural sex patt]n4 ,fai? 9 love-mak+ & fai? 9 love p>tn]s mu/ be held intact4 ,yet !re %\ld be no discussion ( love & no real sex tea*+ at ?is critical "t4 ,sex in/ruction is a po/-convalesc5t !rapy4 ,x %\ld n be us$ z an imm$iate or fir/-aid rem$y = fe> x may become associat$ ) a mo/ di/ress+ memory4 ,above all1 family conv]sations & speculations %\ld be ab&on$1 = *ildr5 are s5sitive to talk !y d n ev5 he>4 ,a *ild :o has suff]$ a premature sexual exp]i5ce at ! h&s ( an old] p]son ne$s all t 8 family c give him ( ?\ghtful consid]ation & reassurance4 ,yet he %\ld by no means feel himself a h]o4 ,once ! /ory is told & accr$it$1 x %\ld s9k into a fri5dly sil5ce4 ,:atev] =m sex misconduct takes--:e!r peep+ & undress+1 play+ fa!r & "m1 us+ vulg> words1 mak+ (f5sive draw+s or writ+ unsavory v]ses1 ur9at+ 9 public--puni%m5t 9 any ( its _m =ms t5ds to decrease ! quick *ances ( recov]y4 ,humiliation1 body-gu>d+ 7,i nev] c tru/ y alone71 conf9em5t 7lock y up71 emotional sc5es 7y've disgrac$ y\r family71 ?reats 7,i'll s5d y away7--/rike deep into ! emotional nature ( ! *ild & de/roy t integrity ( _s & belief 9 himself :i* he ne$s = 8 re/oration4 ,p]si/5t prob+s & grill+s w also block progress4 ,correction ( any type ( sex misdemeanor requires insight1 =be>ance1 a va/ am\nt ( emotional poise1 & an und]/&+ ( contribut+ causes4 ,if lack ( :olesome sex k is ! cause1 !n wise sex in/ruction )\t ref]5ce to pa/ s9s is ! rem$y4 ,if fixations1 jeal\sies1 or a too /rict moral code at home are responsible 7& !y (t5 are responsible n only = ! m active =ms ( misconduct1 b = ma/urbation1 ?umb-suck+1 & o!r bad habits z well71 !n ! cure re/s ) ! will+ness ( p>5ts to modify _! own attitude & exactions4 ,if ! cause is a recreational lack1 new activities1 new sc5es & companions1 new int]e/s mu/ be suppli$ to break up ! old associations & supply ! ne$$ ze/ = life4 ,if obs]vation ( adult relation%ips has tak5 place1 a c>eful explanation & int]pretation ( ! act ( mat+ is necess>y to lift ! relation%ip into its legitimate & acceptable place4 ,! mo/ difficult phase ( sex education is ! int]pretation & guidance ( sex activities 9 *ildhood4 ,our traditional codes & sanctions h measur$ _! puni%m5ts out ( all proportion to ! (f5se4 ,9 ord] to meet ?is type ( conduct con/ructively1 "o mu/ avoid sev]e puni%m5t1 ! awak5+ ( a deep s5se ( guilt1 & set oneself to "w out a quiet regim5 ( rehabilitation4 ,be/ ( all1 "o com=ts oneself ) ! k t1 except 9 cases ( psy*ic trauma1 /udies reveal t !re is little relation%ip betwe5 e>ly sex play & lat] del9qu5cy4 ,wise p>5ts ( today build a solid f\ndation = ! sexual happ9ess ( _! *ildr54 ,no long] d !y )hold k ( love1 mat+1 & ! r5ewal ( life4 ,!y equip !mselves ) a ?or\gh und]/&+ ( ! emotional nature ( _! *ildr5 & ( ! te*nique ( pres5t+ sex in/ruction4 ,we ( ?is g5]ation are see+ *anges 9 ?\ght & patt]ns ( sex tea*+ & e?ics4 ,codes & sanctions are 9 transition4 ,x is n t 9 ! ye>s to come we %all h m k or m fre$om purely = ! sake ( k & fre$om4 ,x is t we & our *ildr5 & our *ildr5's *ildr51 :o are tomorr['s m5 & wom51 %all live ) m s]5ity1 m wisdom1 & m joy\sness 9 _! love relation%ips because ( ! f\ndations :i* we h built4 ,william ,lyon ,phelps ,,*apt] ,,t5 ,religion 9 ! ,home ,dur+ my =ty ye>s ( tea*+ college "u-graduates1 if ! lesson = ! day 0 p]t95t or an occasion af=d$ ! opportunity1 ,i talk$ to ! m5 9 ! classroom ab\t _! c>e]s--n conc]n+ vocational tra9+2 :at ,i emphasiz$ 0 ! "r m5tal attitude t[>d life itself1 ! p]haps in>ticulate philosophy und]ly+ all *oices & all ambitions4 ,i h always be5 able to speak m intimately to a gr\p ( "y p ?an to an individual4 ,! individual mu/ take ! initiative4 ,i believe we h no m "r to probe into ! secret places ( ! he>t ?an we h to pick a man's pocket4 ,:5ev] a /ud5t came to me alone & on 8 own1 !n ,i 0 will+ & glad to discuss any?+ ) him4 ,b ,i believe e man's p]sonality is sacr$3 an unau?oriz$ or unask$-= attempt to ent] x is ! wor/ sort ( trespass+4 ,9 ! classroom any?+ may be discuss$ )\t emb>rassm5t4 ,no tea*] ev] _h a m intimate classroom ?an m9e4 ,= my ma9 int]e/ 9 lit]ature1 :i* ,i taught pr(essionally1 is its relation to m5 & wom54 ,br[n+ said 8 poetry dealt exclusively ) ! human s\l2 & x s happ5s t f\r poems ( ,t5nyson's :i*1 int5tionally or n1 are plac$ toge!r1 deal ) f\r t]rific passions4 ,! poems are ,! ,fir/ ,qu>rel1 ,rizpah1 ,! ,nor!rn ,cobbl]1 & ,! ,rev5ge4 ,!y deal respectively ) sex1 "m love1 dr9k1 & patriotism4 ,all f\r h produc$ happ9ess1 & all f\r h produc$ murd]4 ,life is dang]\s4 ,/ud5ts naturally wi% to be successful 9 _! *os5 c>e]s4 ,i told !m ! greate/ & mo/ important c>e] 0 m>riage2 t1 unlike o!r c>e]s1 m>riage 0 a c>e] op5 to e "o ( !m4 ,= among ! _m & /rik+ diff]5ces betwe5 male & female we may obs]ve ?is3 n e woman c be m>ri$1 b e man c4 ,!re is always "s woman :o w m>ry him4 ,! highe/ happ9ess kn[n on e>? is 9 m>riage4 ,e man :o is happily m>ri$ is a successful man ev5 if he has fail$ 9 ev]y?+ else4 ,& e man ^: m>riage is a failure is n a successful man ev5 if he has succe$$ 9 ev]y?+ else4 ,! great ,russian noveli/ ,turg5ev said he w\ld give all 8 fame & all 8 g5ius if !re 7 only "o woman :o c>$ :e!r he came home late to d9n]4 ,x w\ld h be5 well if he _h kn[n ?is :5 he 0 "y4 ,i told my /ud5ts3 ,"y g5tlem51 al?\gh v few ( y are n[ engag$ to be m>ri$ & n "o ( y is m>ri$1 y\r wives are alive2 !y are liv+ n[4 ,y d n "k _! names or :]e !y are2 b isn't x excit+ to ?9k t y are e mom5t draw+ ne>] to ea* o!r8 ,%e is half an h\r clos] to y n[ ?an :5 y ent]$ ?is classroom4 ,"s 9 ,cali=nia are s\nd asleep1 = x is be=e dawn2 "s are eat+ breakfa/ 9 ,new ,york ,city2 "s are eat+ lun* 9 ,europe4 ,b all y\r wives are z real z if !y 7 already liv+ ) y4 ,:at d y int5d to d ab\t x8 ,^? prep>+ = ! law or m$ic9e take special /udies2 ^? prep>+ = a?letic conte/s take special tra9+4 ,if !y did n1 !y w\ld be idiotic4 ,^? :o are prep>+ = m>riage %\ld n leave success to *ance4 ,=1 :ile happ9ess is sometimes dep5d5t on luck1 9 ! majority ( in/ances x is n2 happ9ess usually foll[s ! prop] conditions4 ,?us boys & girls1 "y m5 & wom51 w d well if !y tra9 _! bodies & _! m9ds to be successful husb&s & wives long be=e m>riage4 ,x is wor? x2 = !y are 9 tra9+ = ! highe/ prize obta9able on e>?1 & yet "o op5 to & won by millions4 ,n be+ a physician & be+ ignorant ( physiology1 ,i "k little ab\t ! value ( sex in/ruction4 ,yet h[ev] important sex in/ruction may be to ^? ab\t to be m>ri$1 !re is "o ?+ m important--"*4 ,two p unselfi% & consid]ate1 tactful & w>mhe>t$1 & salt$ ) humor1 :o are 9 love1 h ! mo/ ess5tial ( all qualifications = a successful m>riage--!y h "*4 ,p ab\t to be m>ri$ ne$ tra9+ 9 "* mu* m ?an !y ne$ in/ruction 9 sex4 ,f *ildhood boys & girls f9d out h[ *ildr5 come1 b ! secret ( a good "*1 temp]am5t1 & disposition is n s readily f\nd4 ,! reason :y "* is ! mo/ important requisite = success 9 m>riage is n m]ely t x happ5s to be ! *ief cause ( happ9ess1 b t ^? :o h "* c turn an unsuccessful m>riage into a successful "o1 in/ead ( tak+ ! easy way out1 & ackn[l$g+ failure4 ,no man or no woman is to blame = mak+ a fooli% m>riage2 x might happ5 to anyone4 ,! te/ ( "* is n :e!r "o has or has n made a fooli% m>riage2 ! te/ comes aft] ! fooli% m>riage has be5 made4 ,:at a triumph !n to turn t failure into a success1 z ! /atesman turns a m9ority into a majority6 ,?is article is address$ to "y p1 = ^? :o m>ry late 9 life ei!r d n ne$ any sugge/ions or are already incurable4 ,i am 9 favor ( e>ly m>riages4 ,i am delight$ :5 ei!r ! boy's p>5ts or ^? ( ! girl h money en\gh s t ! "y pair c be m>ri$ at tw5ty-two1 be=e !y beg9 pr(essional /udy or "w4 ,& :5 !re is little money b ei!r or bo? h a job1 !n by all means !y %\ld be m>ri$4 ,:5 "y p m>ry1 !y take difficulties ( h\sekeep+ & privations z a l>k1 ev5 z "y p d camp+ out4 ,:5 ,i 0 a boy1 camp+ out 0 absolute bliss2 n[ x w\ld be absolute horror4 ,fur!rmore1 9 y\? nei!r ( !m has set2 !y c accommodate !mselves to ea* o!r4 ,! late ,presid5t ,h>p] ( ! ,univ]sity ( ,*icago 0 m>ri$ at n9ete5--n s "y 9 8 case1 = he _h already tak5 8 doctor's degree4 ,he told me t dur+ ! fir/ five or six ye>s !re 7 times :5 nei!r he nor 8 wife c\ld mail a lett]1 because !y did n h en\gh ca% to buy "o po/age /amp4 ,he laugh$ al\d z he rec\nt$ ?is1 & add$1 ,!re 0 nev] "o mom5t :5 ei!r ( u regrett$ our m>riage4 ,m>riage c be wond]ful f e po9t ( view :5 x is a comb9ation ( ! highe/ physical delight ) ! highe/ spiritual developm5t4 ,x is inde$ ! sublimation ( ! s5ses4 ,! great noveli/ ,george ,m]$i?1 :o hat$ priggi%ness 9 all its =ms1 said 9 a lett]3 ,i h writt5 always ) ! p]ception t !re is no life b ( ! _s2 t ! concrete is really ! %ad[y2 yet t ! way to spiritual life lies 9 ! complete unfold+ ( ! creature1 n 9 ! nipp+ ( 8 passions4 ,an outrage to ,nature helps to ext+ui% 8 light4 ,to ! fl\ri%+ ( ! _s1 !n1 ?r\gh ! heal?y ex]cise ( ! s5ses4 ,c\ld !re be a bett] description ( ! union ( physical & spiritual developm5t 9 m>riage ?an 8 phrase ! complete unfold+ ( ! creature8 ,to 8 son ,m]$i? wrote3 ,look = ! tru? 9 ev]y?+1 & foll[ x1 & y w !n be liv+ ju/ly be=e ,god4 ,let no?+ fl\t y\r s5se ( a ,supreme ,be+1 & be c]ta9 t y\r und]/&+ wav]s :5ev] y *ance to d\bt t ,he leads to good4 ,we gr[ to good z surely z ! plant gr[s to ! light4 ,d n lose ! habit ( pray+ to ! unse5 ,div9ity4 ,pray] = worldly goods is worse ?an fruitless1 b pray] = /r5g? ( s\l is t passion ( ! s\l :i* cat*es ! gift x seeks4 ,:at is love8 ,f ! age ( six or sev5 on boys & girls fall 9 love ) a good _m diff]5t p]sons4 ,b ?is is n ! same ?+ z m>ri$ love1 :i* gr[s by companion%ip & by %>+ sorr[s z well z pleasures4 ,_m ye>s ago a college fri5d ( m9e1 a spl5did fell[ ) ev]y?+ to make life wor? liv+1 0 m>ri$ to a f9e girl4 ,he di$ sudd5ly1 dur+ ! fir/ week ( ! honeymoon4 ,i said to a man ( sixty1 ,c any?+ be m tragic ?an t8 ,yes1 he repli$ unhesitat+ly1 x is m tragic :5 ! husb& or wife dies aft] tw5ty-five ye>s ( m>riage4 ,he 0 "r2 ! loss aft] tw5ty-five ye>s is m t]rible2 & 9 ! in/ance ,i m5tion$ ! %att]$ & desolat$ bride 0 9 two ye>s happily m>ri$ to a second husb&4 ,! ov]:elm+ passion ( love is c]ta9ly rapture1 & m>riage is its mo/ satisfy+ consummation4 ,b true love is n s expressive 9 desire = possession z x is 9 consid]ation = ! welf>e ( ! belov$ object4 ,oh1 h[ ,i love y6 may n mean z mu* z ,don't g out )\t y\r rubb]s on4 ,d y rememb] t passage 9 ,guy de ,maupassant :]e ! husb& said j t to 8 wife8 ,& !y 7 a/\nd$ :5 ! maid5 aunt1 :o _h liv$ ) !m = ye>s )\t a ^w ( dissatisfaction1 :o _h gone 9 & out ( ! room z unrem>k$ z ! family cat1 :o 0 ?\ght to be incapable ( emotion1 sudd5ly bur/ into a /orm ( weep+ & cri$1 ,no "o has ev] c>$ :e!r or n ,i _h my rubb]s on6 ,yet expressions ( love & passion1 embraces & c>esses1 are also ess5tial4 ,i told my /ud5ts1 ,aft] y are m>ri$ nev] leave ! h\se1 ev5 if only to po/ a lett] at ! corn]1 )\t kiss+ y\r wife4 ,?is v simple act is a trem5d\s pres]vative ( m>ri$ happ9ess4 ,i also advis$ !m dur+ ! fir/ tw5ty ye>s ( m>riage to occupy ! same b$room4 ,qu>rels & ev5 insults giv5 9 ! heat ( ang] are c]ta9 to happ5 9 n9e m>riages out ( t54 ,x is supremely important n to let ^! flames ( res5tm5t become a fatal conflagration4 ,!y mu/ n la/4 ,nev] g to sleep ) res5tm5t 9 y\r he>ts4 ,& bless+s on ! fall+ out ,t all ! m ende>s1 ,:5 we fall out ) ^? we love1 ,& kiss aga9 ) te>s6 ,al?\gh happy m>riages are common 7unhappy ones are /ill news71 ! only ideal1 flawless m>riages ,i ev] he>d ( 7 ^? ( ! ,br[n+s & ! ,haw?ornes2 9 bo? in/ances ! husb&s 7 m5 ( g5ius & ! wives positively angelic4 ,s9ce ! greate/ ( all ! arts is ! art ( liv+ toge!r1 & s9ce ! highe/ & mo/ p]man5t happ9ess dep5ds on x1 & s9ce ! way to practice ?is art successfully lies ?r\gh "*1 ! all-important "q is h[ to obta9 "*4 ,! sure/ way is ?r\gh religion--religion 9 ! home4 ,all t we "k = c]ta9 ( e p]son is t he is imp]fect4 ,human imp]fection means a *ronic ne$ = improvem5t4 ,! mo/ trem5d\s & cont9u\s elevat+1 purify+1 /r5g!n+ =ce is religi\s fai?4 ,my p>5ts neglect$ my social tra9+4 ,i am sorry !y did4 ,!y 7 c>eless ab\t my clo!s & my p]sonal appe>ances4 ,i am sorry = x4 ,b ,i am supremely grateful = _! religi\s & spiritual tra9+4 ,e day ( my life ,i am grateful4 ,i w\ld r belong to ! *ur* ?an belong to any o!r organization or society or club4 ,i w\ld r be a *ur* memb] ?an receive any honor or decoration 9 ! _w4 ,x amuses me :5 ,i read novels writt5 by ^? :o nev] _h any religi\s fai? or :o h lo/ x1 novels t describe religi\s tra9+ 9 ! home z produc+ unhapp9ess & hypocrisy & morbidity1 ! atmosph]e "o ( ?ick gloom4 ,z ,i look back on my *ildhood1 x seems to me t our h\se 0 full ( laught]4 ,table conv]sation 0 enliv5$ ) mir?4 ,if !re ev] 0 a m]ry h\sehold1 x 0 ours4 ,our daily exi/5ce 0 full ( fun1 & ,*ri/mas1 ,new ,ye>s1 ,f\r? ( ,july1 & bir?days 7 deliri\s4 ,?is is normal & natural & logical4 ,religi\s fai? is a c5tral heat+ plant--x w>ms & en]gizes "o's :ole exi/5ce4 ,x gives a reason = life itself1 = developm5t4 ,x gives a philosophy = conduct1 &1 f> m important1 x emotionalizes conduct ev5 m /rongly ?an a?letics & patriotism4 ,( all ess5tial ?+s1 ! mo/ ess5tial 9 m>ri$ life & 9 ! br++ up ( *ildr5 is religion4 ,:5 two p are engag$ & are mak+ plans = liv+ toge!r1 !y are sure to discuss religion4 ,y rememb] h[ sudd5ly ,m>gu]ite turn$ to ,fau/ & ask$ him po9t-blank1 ,d y believe 9 ,god8 ,a *ief reason :y br++ up *ildr5 is s difficult is t example is s mu* m important ?an precept4 ,i am a qualifi$ lit]>y critic1 al?\gh ,i nev] wrote a novel2 ,i am a qualifi$ drama critic1 al?\gh ,i nev] wrote a play2 ,i am a qualifi$ baseball & lawn t5nis critic1 al?\gh ,i nev] 0 a fir/-class play]4 ,b :5 p>5ts endeavor to br+ up *ildr5 to reflect honor on ! family & be useful memb]s ( society1 ! p>5ts mu/ set a good example4 ,a man once wrote to ,c>lyle ask+ him if he ought to tea* 8 little *ildr5 to say pray]s4 ,! sev]e ,scot repli$3 ,yes1 b only if y pray y\rself4 ,don't tea* !m any?+ 9 :i* y y\rself d n believe4 ,! ,scot 0 "r4 ,to tea* little *ildr5 to say _! pray]s :5 ! p>5ts nev] say !m !mselves is l tea*+ a dog to say 8 pray]s1 a trick t seems to amuse _m p4 ,to h little *ildr5 say grace at ! table :5 no adult 9 ! room has any fai? is aga9 only a pretty trick4 ,b to s5d !m to *ur* & ,sunday ,s*ool :5 ! p>5ts /ay away is f> worse2 x is culpable4 ,!n ! *ildr5 reg>d *ur*-go+1 pray+1 & religion z "o ( ! innum]able burd5s & p5alties ( *ildhood1 f :i* !y w escape z soon z !y rea* indep5d5ce4 ,:5 ,ov]ton1 ! great ,yale a?lete1 :o 0 kill$ 9 ! w>1 left 8 ,t5nessee home to g to college1 8 fa!r told him t he w\ld n give him any advice z to morals or behavior2 b1 ,johnny1 w y promise me t y w nev] g to sleep at night until y h said y\r pray]s8 ,john promis$1 & aft]w>d told 8 fa!r he _h kept 8 ^w4 ,if bo? "y husb& & wife %>e a simil> religi\s belief1 x is an enorm\s asset2 & imm5se help to p]man5ce 9 m>ri$ happ9ess4 ,n[1 "o _c believe 9 ,god & 9 ,our ,"l m]ely by wi%+ to d s4 ,yet ,i (t5 ?9k t _m :o d n believe d n really wi% to ) passionate e>ne/ness2 ) z /rong a wi% z !y h = money or good looks or popul>ity4 ,!re are _m :o say & m :o ?9k )\t say+3 ,if ,i only _h ! fai? ,i _h z a *ild6 ,!n ,i believ$ 9 ,god & 9 ,jesus ,*ri/ & 9 ,heav54 ,"o might almo/ z well say1 ,if ,i only _h ! k ( algebra ,i _h z a *ild6 ,:y d small boys & girls "k algebra & :y 9 lat] ye>s d !y n "k x8 ,because :5 !y 7 at s*ool1 !y gave _! att5tion to x2 !y /udi$ x2 !y ?\ght ab\t x4 ,b aft] leav+ s*ool !y may nev] h op5$ an algebra book or consid]$ ! subject aga94 ,:at does "o expect8 ,if "o expresses regret = ! lo/ fai? ( *ildhood1 x is prop] to ask3 ,h[ long is x s9ce y read ! ,gospels8 ,h[ long is x s9ce y pray$8 ,s9ce religi\s fai? is su* an asset to happ9ess1 su* a f\ndation = "* & = m>ri$ life & br++ up *ildr51 "o might make an ef=t to recov] x1 or at lea/ to consid] x4 ,i believe ,sunday %\ld be a day ( joy & happ9ess4 ,sunday aft]noon games & recreation are f9e1 b "o enjoys !m m if "o has be5 to *ur* 9 ! morn+ or sp5t "p ( ! day 9 ei!r solit>y or community wor%ip4 ,^? p>5ts :o selfi%ly seek only _! own pleasures e week5d1 :o d no?+ b amuse !mselves--are !y likely to br+ up _! *ildr5 successfully8 ,to ^? :o h no fai? & to ^? :o h lo/ x let me recomm5d "s wise words by ,dean ,+e4 ,!re are ^? :o are z explosively & sudd5ly conv]t$ z 0 ,/4 ,paul2 b !re are also ^? :o _c h su* an exp]i5ce2 & _m1 _m are ! ways to ,god4 ,give ! matt] s]i\s att5tion2 x des]ves x4 ,x is ! mo/ s]i\s ( all ?+s4 ,be+ educat$ means to pref] ! be/ n only to ! wor/ b to ! second be/4 ,x means 9 music to pref] ,bee?ov5 n only to jazz b to ,brahms4 ,s x is 9 all =ms ( art1 9 a?letics1 9 politics1 9 ev]y?+4 ,n[1 ! ,p]son celebrat$ 9 ! ,gospels is ! greate/ ,p]sonality 9 all hi/ory4 ,he knew m ab\t life ?an ,%akespe>e4 ,he 0 ! greate/ n]ve speciali/ :o ev] liv$4 ,come unto me 444 & y %all f9d re/ unto y\r s\ls4 ,8 way is incomp>ably ! be/ way2 x is ! way to peace ( m9d1 to c\rage1 indep5d5ce1 fe>lessness1 to joy4 ,if we f9d fai? lack+1 try ,8 way4 ,li/5 to ,dean ,+e2 he is discuss+ ! illum9ation ( ! m9d t foll[s recognition ( ! ,ma/]3 ,?is illum9ation mu/ be e>n$1 or r prep>$ =1 by a /r5u\s c\rse ( moral discipl9e4 ,! religi\s life beg9s ) ,fai?1 :i* has be5 def9$ 444 z ! resolution to /& or fall by ! noble/ hypo!sis4 ,?is v5ture ( ! w & consci5ce progressively v]ifies itself z we progress on ! upw>d pa?4 ,t :i* began z an exp]im5t ends z an exp]i5ce4 ,we become accu/om$ to brea! ! atmosph]e ( ! spiritual _w4 ,"y p ab\t to be m>ri$1 "y p rec5tly m>ri$1 "y fa!rs & mo!rs1 %\ld give religion ! mo/ s]i\s consid]ation4 ,to neglect x1 to be indiff]5t to x1 is worse & m fooli% ?an to be antagoni/ic4 ,religion is n a frill or an ornam5t or a luxury2 /ill less is x a ?+ to clut* at only 9 dang] or 9 he>tbreak4 ,religion is ! greate/ creative =ce 9 ! _w2 x has made ?\s&s ( sa9ts & ?\s&s ( h]oes2 x has revolutioniz$ innum]able individual lives4 ,x has *ang$ p f selfi%ness to unselfi%ness2 f c[>dice to c\rage2 f despair to hope2 f vulg>ity to dec5cy2 f b>r5ness ( life to fruitfulness4 ,:5 religion c *ange ! lives ( millions1 :5 x c produce supreme creations 9 art1 x is a =ce wor? s]i\s consid]ation4 ,religi\s fai? has produc$ ! f9e/ ar*itecture1 ! f9e/ pa9t+1 ! f9e/ music1 ! f9e/ lit]ature 9 ! _w4 ,! late ,john ,philip ,s\sa1 ! fam\s compos] & b&ma/]1 said t ! reason :y !re 0 n s mu* great music produc$ 9 ! tw5tie? z 9 ! n9ete5? c5tury 0 t religi\s fai? _h decl9$4 ,accord+ to him1 creation is bas$ on fai?4 ,?is may be claim+ too mu*1 b 8 te/imony z a compos] is int]e/+4 ,! ,am]ican philosoph] ,paul ,elm] ,m1 :o di$ 9 #aicg1 & :o 0 "o ( ! mo/ pr(\nd s*ol>s 9 ! _w1 aft] prolong$ ?\ght & /udy & obs]vation1 came f agno/icism into a complete & passionate fai? 9 ! ,*ri/ian religion & 9 ! inc>nation4 ,he said t :ile love 0 ! ma9 pr9ciple 9 religion z a way ( life1 ! mo/ important contribution to humanity made by religion 0 hope4 ,hope 9 ! de/9y ( man1 9 ! sup]lative value ( ! individual1 9 ! ,p]sonality ( our ,fa!r 9 ,heav54 ,i might add t if hope def]r$ make? ! he>t sick1 hope de/roy$ make? ! he>t dead4 ,! mo/ unfair1 la/ ^w to describe religi\s fai? is ! ^w ane/hetic4 ,religi\s fai? is a com=t to ! old1 ! sick1 & ! suff]+2 b 9 g5]al x is n a s$ative1 x is a tonic4 ,x is a dynamo2 x is a driv+ =ce4 ,h5ry ,drummond1 ! mo/ effective speak] on religion ,i c rememb]1 said to a gr\p ( /ud5ts3 ,i ask y to become ,*ri/ians n because y may die tonight b because y are go+ to live tomorr[4 ,i come n to save y\r s\ls1 b to save y\r lives4 ,religion adds an enorm\s ze/ to daily life2 x makes ev]y?+ int]e/+4 ,x keeps alive ! capacity ( wond]4 ,i myself am int]e/$ 9 ev]y?+ 9 ! _w1 f a s&lot ball game to ! nebula 9 ,orion4 ,! ma9spr+ ( my exi/5ce1 ! f\ndation ( my happy & excit+ life1 is ,*ri/ian fai?4 ,i sugge/ to ^? rec5tly m>ri$ & ^? ab\t to be m>ri$ t !y are ent]+ into a relation%ip t c br+ !m ! highe/ & mo/ la/+ happ9ess or ! mo/ cru%+ disillusion & despair4 ,su* a relation%ip is p>ticul>ly rem>kable because ( its intimacy1 an intimacy f> transc5d+ t ( fri5d%ip1 love ( p>5ts1 or any e>?ly emotion4 ,z ,?omas ,h>dy said1 m>riage annihilates res]ve4 ,9 ?is amaz+ intimacy e c>e %\ld be tak5 to insure success4 ,a common int]e/ 9 religion1 say+ pray]s toge!r1 w help enorm\sly t[>d increas+ & pres]v+ happ9ess4 ,= a true belief 9 ! ,*ri/ian religion w improve daily mann]s4 ,husb& & wife w n take ea* o!r = grant$2 !y w n become /odgy or commonplace or /]eotyp$4 ,t5nyson gave 9 ,! ,pr9cess ! real k9d ( m>riage :i* "o ( my /ud5ts describ$ 9 ! v]nacul>3 ,i am go+ to be m>ri$4 ,x won't be mu* ( a w$d+1 b x w be a wond]ful m>riage4 ,li/5 to ,t5nyson3 ,= woman is n undevelopt man1 ,b div]se4 ,c\ld we make h] z ! man1 ,sweet ,love 7 sla92 8 de>e/ bond is ?is1 ,n l to l1 b l 9 diff]5ce4 ,yet 9 ! long ye>s lik] mu/ !y gr[2 ,! man be m ( woman1 %e ( man2 ,he ga9 9 sweetness & 9 moral height1 ,nor lose ! wre/l+ !ws t ?r[ ! _w2 ,%e m5tal bread?1 nor fail 9 *ildw>d c>e1 ,nor lose ! *ildlike 9 ! l>g] m9d2 ,till at ! la/ %e set h]self to man1 ,l p]fect music unto noble words4 ,a wife may be a civiliz+ =ce2 ?is is well4 ,b %e may be f> m ?an t4 ,%e may be a revelation 9 daily intimacy m unconsci\sly impressive ?an a pr(essional sa9t4 ,?is is :at ,caponsac*i said ( an imag9$ union ) ,pompilia1 9 ,br[n+'s ,! ,r+ & ! ,book3 ,to live1 & see h] le>n1 & le>n by h]1 ,out ( ! l[ obscure & petty _w-- ,or only see "o purpose & "o w ,evolve !mselves i' ! _w1 *ange wrong to "r2 ,to h to d ) no?+ b ! true1 ,! good1 ! et]nal--& ^!1 n alone ,9 ! ma9 curr5t ( ! g5]al life1 ,b small exp]i5ces ( e day1 ,conc]ns ( ! p>ticul> he>? & home3 ,to le>n n only by a comet's ru% ,b a rose's bir?1 n by ! gr&eur1 ,god1 ,b ! com=t1 ,*ri/4 ,/anley ,g4 ,dick9son ,,*apt] ,,elev5 ,x ,pays to be ,happily ,m>ri$ ,bus9ess believe t ! happily m>ri$ man w occupy a bigg] position 9 ! bus9ess _w ?an w ! man :o is unhappy at home4 ,! "y m5 & "y wom5 9 ,good ,h\sekeep+'s m>riage-relations c\rse h a "r to "k ?is1 to "k precisely ! int]e/ :i* bus9ess has 9 h>moni\s m>riage & ! ext5t to :i* home life is a factor :5 m5 are consid]$ = promotion1 employm5t1 or transf]--any "o ( :i* means m income1 m responsibility1 & an opportunity to live m fully4 ,bus9ess might v logically take ano!r view4 ,x might believe t ! s+le man is ! bett] employee1 because s+le m5 are free to travel1 are n burd5$ ) ! exp5ses ( a family1 d n run ! risk ( go+ home to tr\ble4 ,x might believe t ! home exp]i5ces & environm5t ( ! p x hires are n its conc]n4 ,b bus9ess is conc]n$ ) ^! aspects & "y p %\ld "k 9 :at way & :y4 ,:ile bus9ess negotiates ) ! husb&1 x has long s9ce le>n$ t bo? husb& & wife are entitl$ to consid]ation :5ev] "o is be+ employ$ or promot$4 ,! m important ! job1 ! m important x becomes to det]m9e :e!r husb& & wife h tri$ to keep pace ) ea* o!r1 or :e!r !re is discord at home4 ,bus9ess c af=d to place responsibility ^u ! m5tally capable1 en]getic1 & tactful man if 8 m>riage relations are h>moni\s4 ,x _c af=d to gamble ) ! man :o is 9 tr\ble at home--n necess>ily vici\s tr\ble1 b tr\ble aris+ f c>elessness1 maladju/m5t1 & misund]/&+4 ,z a bus9ess consultant advis+ corporations ^u _! major objectives & policies1 ,i att5d sev]al times ea* week conf]5ces dur+ :i* m5 are discuss$ = promotion1 transf] to new "w or new t]ritory1 sal>y adju/m5ts1 & sometimes demotion4 ,! bus9ess consultant pref]s to limit 8 c\nsel to su* objective matt]s z plans & op]at+ policies1 b ?is _c be done actually1 because all bus9ess situations mu/ be resolv$ into ! p]sons 9 !m4 ,h5ce our discussion is necess>ily devot$ to m5--to :at we c d to make !m m effective1 to h[ soon we c promote !m safely1 to h[ mu* responsibility !y c assume1 to :at !y are be/ fitt$ = do+1 & ! l4 ,dur+ ! pa/ fifte5 ye>s1 ,i h discuss$ su* l[ly functions z cl]k%ips at #he a mon? & su* exalt$ positions z vice-presid5cies at #bj1jjj1 ) ! av]age runn+ betwe5 #djjj & #aj1jjj a ye>4 ,! judgm5t ( executives is n infallible1 & "s ( ! m5 we pick are unable to measure up to ! increas$ load we place ^u !m4 ,we try to analyze ^! failures ev5 m c>efully ?an we analyze ! successes4 ,"h is :at we f9d3 9 ! majority ( in/ances1 m5 d n fail because !y d n "k en\gh1 or because !y are lazy2 !y fail because bus9ess _c always dep5d ^u !m--!y break at ! wrong times4 ,we c f9d m5 :o "k _! "w & :o are capable ( le>n+ ! requirem5ts ( a bett] job4 ,we c f9d pl5ty ( m5 :o are will+ to "w1 & :o w "w ev5 h>d] = ! promise ( a bett] job 9 ! future4 ,b we _c f9d en\gh m5 ^: emotional me*anism is dep5dable--at lea/ n 9 suffici5t numb]s to c>ry on ! responsibilities :i* bus9ess w\ld l to place ^u !m4 ,peculi>ly en\gh1 ! results ( emotional in/ability are complex1 b ! *ief cause may be def9$ simply3 tr\ble at home causes m emotional upsets1 m in/ability 9 bus9ess1 ?an any o!r s+le factor4 ,by ! same tok51 lack ( progress 9 bus9ess causes tr\ble at home4 ,no home c be run successfully )\t a degree ( f9ancial progress1 & su* progress _c be made--except by a negligible few--)\t h>mony at home4 ,all wives h1 by & l>ge1 an equal /ake ) _! husb&s 9 _! husb&s' mat]ial progress4 ,! increas$ income is a major consid]ation1 b x is only ! beg9n+ 9 a *a9 ( useful consequ5ces4 ,bus9ess progress means m5tal gr[?1 add$ intellig5ce to be appli$ to bo? work+ & liv+4 ,p]sonal gr[? means a full] home life1 a f9] environm5t 9 :i* to br+ up *ildr51 an opportunity to become a respect$ memb] ( ! community4 ,bus9ess progress means great] responsibility1 & ?is bre$s ! ability to take on /ill m responsibility1 bo? at home & 9 bus9ess4 ,progress ev5tually br+s m leisure1 m culture1 & m ( ! o!r ref9em5ts ( liv+4 ,progress is accel]at+1 fe$+ ^u & multiply+ itself4 ,no "o w\ld d5y ! tru? ( all ?is1 yet only a se>*+ few h actually creat$ at home ! degree ( h>mony :i* has be5 ! aim ( ?is s]ies 9 ,good ,h\sekeep+'s c\rse on m>riage relations4 ,if effective contributions f home to ! consi/5t progress ( breadw9n]s 7 univ]sal r ?an r>e1 half ( our tr\bles 9 f9d+ m5 = add$ responsibility w\ld be ov]4 ,! majority ( m5 dissipate _! en]gy 9 wi%+ & want+1 b re/rict !mselves to wi%+ & want+ ! result1 r ?an ! cause4 ,^! insi/ t !y want to bett] _! situations1 b insi/ also t bus9ess is a ?+ ap>t1 some?+ to be %ut 9 ! (fice1 some?+ :i* ne$ n be und]/ood or support$ at home1 & c]ta9ly some?+ ov] :i* a wife at home has little influ5ce4 ,^! two po9ts ( view are n reconcilable2 h5ce ev]yone loses :o tries to hold to bo? at once4 ,if y say to a bus9ess executive1 ,bus9ess is a ?+ ap>t1 he w po9t out at once t y\r !ory is true only 9 ! lea/ important jobs4 ,! managem5t does n worry mu* ab\t ! home environm5t ( ! beg9n] ^u :om no real responsibility re/s1 b x frequ5tly goes to unbelievable ends to get its m important employees back onto ! track if !y h lo/ _! heads ov] a home problem4 ,aga91 bus9ess does ?is = no humanit>ian reasons2 x takes ?is attitude because its employees produce bett] :]e !re is h>mony at home4 ,! capable1 intellig5t1 & progressive work] is almo/ inv>iably m>ri$ to a capable1 intellig5t1 & progressive woman4 ,ea* acts & reacts ^u ! o!r4 ,m5 are n s v]satile t !y c fill #ejjj jobs dur+ ! day & !n g home to become husb&s ( #aejj wom5 9 ! ev5+4 ,nei!r are wom5 s v]satile t !y w rema9 9 cont5t$ h>mony ) husb&s :o are n _! m5tal equals4 ,"s look negatively at ! problem1 feel+ t ,i c\ld h done bett] if ,i _h _h ! advantages ( s-&-s4 ,! facts are t ^! envi$ c\ples 7 gr[+ up toge!r1 keep+ pace m5tally1 long be=e ! promotion came :i* is giv5 ! cr$it = _! pres5t condition4 ,:5 a wife falls d[n on h] "p ( ! job1 neglect+ ei!r h>mony or h] p]sonal developm5t1 h] husb&'s fir/ natural reaction is to sep>ate 8 bus9ess f 8 home life--to grit 8 tee? & g on1 hop+ to a*ieve ! impossible4 ,?is usually sets up a vici\s circle ( ev5ts4 ,be+ h&icapp$ 9 p]sonal effectiv5ess1 he sp5ds m & m "t at bus9ess4 ,8 home goes to ru92 he suff]s ! mo/ dang]\s emotional upsets2 8 "w fails1 & conditions get worse & worse4 ,he breaks1 9 %ort1 at ! wrong "t--a "t inconv5i5t to bus9ess1 to put x brutally4 ,x is dang]\s to g5]alize "h1 because !re is a f9e di/9ction betwe5 h>mony at home & br++ bus9ess into ! home4 ,ha/y ?9k+ is likely to confuse ! two4 ,! man :o takes petty tr\bles ( ! r\t9e day home to 8 wife is a weakl+1 & bus9ess _c consid] him = increas$ responsibility4 ,! husb& :o takes none ( 8 problems home is frequ5tly a my/]y to 8 wife1 b he probably feels t %e is n suffici5tly in=m$ to be useful 9 help+ him make decisions on purely bus9ess issues4 ,wives sometimes rebel aga9/ ?is1 because !y d n make ! ess5tial di/9ction betwe5 respect = !m z individuals & respect = _! in=mation ab\t a specific bus9ess "q4 ,! s\ndness ( ! belief t wives h a specific & cle>ly def9$ responsibility "h is v]ifi$ by ! fact t husb&s want1 & bus9ess dem&s1 "o & ! same ?+4 ,! approa* is diff]5t1 because ! husb&s ( ,am]ica are ask+ prim>ily = h>mony at home1 :ile bus9ess is look+ = an effici5t produc]2 yet !y bo? are seek+ ! same ?+4 ,! husb& asks 8 wife = h>mony at home & a progressive in/9ct s t %e w gr[ concurr5tly ) him4 ,bus9ess1 :5 evaluat+ m5 = promotion1 asks :e!r !re is h>mony at home s t ?is man w be free f ! greate/ s+le s\rce ( emotional unbalance1 & :e!r ?is man & 8 wife h demon/rat$ ! ability to gr[ 9 ! pa/--! be/ available indication ( _! ability to gr[ 9 ! future4 ,^! two que/ions take 9 a lot ( t]ritory1 b ! gr\nd mu/ be cov]$ s long z bus9ess1 9 effect1 employs or promotes bo? husb& & wife4 ,d n be misl$ = a mom5t respect+ ! importance ( ^! two po9ts m]ely because bus9essm5 d n talk a lot ab\t !m4 ,_! s5se ( good ta/e makes !m hesitate to inquire bluntly into s p]sonal a problem1 & s _! inve/igations are conduct$ quietly4 ,num]\s confid5tial s\rces ( in=mation are us$1 & sup]iors take _! own means to meet husb& & wife toge!r1 g5]ally "u "s casual pretext4 ,if we c\ld look beh9d ! sc5es1 we w\ld f9d t emotional /ability--t elusive product ( a satisfactory home environm5t--is reg>d$ j z highly z k1 exp]i5ce1 or any ( ! o!r or?odox consid]ations4 ,we w\ld f9d executives say+1 ,we c c\nt on ,jones = ,*icago n[ t we h se5 8 wife & det]m9$ to our satisfaction t %e w measure up to ! promotion or ,x's too bad we c't give ?is job to ,smi?1 b y "k h[ h>d x is to succe$ )\t support f home4 ,ano!r w\ld be say+1 ,br[n flew (f ! h&le aga9 ye/]day2 x mu/ h />t$ at ! breakfa/ table4 ,wives1 if y c be ! ,mrs4 ,jones ( ^! examples1 & avoid be+ ! ,mrs4 ,smi? or ! ,mrs4 ,br[n1 y w be remov+ = bus9essm5 ! greate/ hurdle to promotion :i* we enc\nt]4 ,y w be do+ y\r "p z ! wife ( a man 9 bus9ess4 ,y may det]m9e ! ext5t to :i* y are do+ ^! ?+s n[ by te/+ y\rself 9 ! light ( ^! t5 que/ions3 #a4 ,did my husb& />t = "w ?is morn+ 9 a bett] frame ( m9d = hav+ m>ri$ me1 or w\ld he h be5 happi] z a s+le man or m>ri$ to someone else8 ,rememb]1 z y ask ?is "q & apply y\r own answ]1 t we are talk+ ab\t bus9ess2 h>d1 practical bus9ess :]e int5tions d n c\nt4 ,y may love y\r husb& de>ly1 b if ! results ( y\r love are n con/ructive1 y mu/ write ! ^w ,,failure across ! record4 #b4 ,d ,i always treat my job j z s]i\sly z if ,i 7 work+ 9 an (fice = a mon?ly sal>y8 ,"s wives feel t x makes no diff]5ce if !y l+] s long ov] bridge or cocktails or %opp+ or :atev] 9 ! aft]noon t !y are unable to prep>e a suitable meal = _! husb&s 9 ! ev5+4 #c4 ,h ,i gr[n 9 poise & int]e/s l ! wives ( my husb&'s associates & sup]iors8 ,wives :o keep up ) ! procession are an asset2 ^? :o fail to gr[ are a liability4 #d4 ,c ,i talk 9 ! same t]ms z 8 associates & _! wives8 ,?is indicates h[ c>efully y h ma9ta9$ y\r int]e/ 9 ! s\rce ( y\r income1 & h[ accu/om$ y are to express+ y\rself4 #e4 ,d ,i dress & act l ! wives ( ! bus9ess associates & sup]iors ( my husb&8 ,y place a heavy h&icap ^u y\r effectiv5ess if y\r husb& _c be pr\d ( y 9 ! inevitable comp>isons ) o!r wives 9 8 organization4 #f4 ,d ,i ent]ta9 ) reasonable frequ5cy ! p :o are 9 a position to help my husb& 9 bus9ess1 or is our social life plann$ :olly = my own amusem5t8 ,p]haps ?is "q %\ld read1 ,h[ long s9ce ,i h ent]ta9$ ,s-&-,s8 ,y may be surpris$ to f9d t mon?s h slipp$ away )\t y\r hav+ done a s+le /roke ( good = y\r husb& socially4 #g4 ,d ,i limit our social engagem5ts dur+ ! week to ^? :i* w n take ess5tial en]gy f ! job1 or d ,i feel t my husb& owes me con/ant amusem5t :5 he is n actually at ! (fice8 ,z employ]s pile responsibility ^u y\r husb&1 m & m c>e mu/ be us$ 9 ! allocation ( "t to social affairs4 ,y may be able to re/ ! next day1 b bus9ess does n p]mit husb&s to re/ on ! job4 #h4 ,d ,i act z a balance :eel1 *e]+ him intellig5tly :5 he is tir$ or disc\rag$1 or d ,i rub him ! wrong way on su* occasions8 ,if y\r husb& does n %>e ) y 8 disappo9tm5ts1 x is almo/ inv>iably because y h n qualifi$ y\rself to %>e !m4 #i4 ,d ,i try to smoo? ?+s out aft] unpleasant discussions--z ,i w\ld if a new dress or !atre p>ty 7 at /ake8 ,_m m>ri$ p]sons h an uncanny capacity = mak+ mis]able ! objects ( _! affection4 ,x is said t ! c\rse ( true love nev] did run smoo?1 b ! wise husb& or wife w n unnecess>ily r\gh5 x4 #aj4 ,d ,i c>ry my %>e ( responsibility1 or d ,i save up all ! petty annoyances = our d9n]-table conv]sation8 ,wives :o compla9 t _! husb&s are sil5t dur+ d9n] h usually good reason to ov]haul ! quality ( _! own conv]sation4 ,don't bore him ) y\r fight ) ! groc] or ! catty ?+s ,mrs4 ,x said at bridge or aft]noon tea4 ,"h are "s actual examples ( ! way wives affect _! husb&'s bus9ess3 ,we select$ ,blake = a bran* manag]%ip at ,*icago1 & we ?\ght t 8 wife c\ld measure up4 ,we took him out ( a job :]e he _h rea*$ 8 limit & plac$ him 9 "o :]e 8 develop$ ability might enable him to e>n twice 8 sal>y4 ,he fail$4 ,we :o appo9t$ ?is man took ! blame = 8 failure1 because bus9ess recognizes no alibis4 ,z usual1 x wasn't t he didn't want to be a bran* manag]1 or t he didn't "k en\gh1 or t he wasn't will+ to "w h>d en\gh4 ,we f\nd t ! tr\ble 0 )9 8 emotional me*anism4 ,he 0 los+ 8 head & 8 temp] at ! wrong times4 ,at la/ he wrote to 8 firm3 ,?is t[n takes ! he>t out ( my wife4 ,%e is t]ribly lonesome1 refuses to make new fri5ds1 & rem9ds me cont9ually ( ! good times we us$ to h back home4 ,h] "m misses h] & ?reat5s to come to live ) u "h4 ,i appreciate ?is opportunity1 & ,i "k t we h m ( ev]y?+ "h ?an we _h back home1 b ,i want my old job back4 ,i c't /& x "h4 ,bus9ess doesn't "w t way1 & s we p]suad$ ano!r employ] to hire him away )\t 8 k1 ?us sav+ 8 face & help+ to ma9ta9 8 c\rage4 ,he w\ld h be5 br&$ = life if we _h p]mitt$ him to crawl back to 8 old job4 ,blake w nev] g z f> z he is entitl$ to g1 because ,mrs4 ,blake places h] own feel+s above any o!r consid]ation1 & h] husb& is n /rong en\gh to control 8 emotions :]e 8 wife is conc]n$4 ,few m5 are4 ,we d n 9 any way blame ,mrs4 ,blake = ! "p %e play$ 9 h] husb&'s failure4 ,%e m]ely atta*es m value to /ay+ 9 h] old groove1 9 ! con/ant companion%ip ( h] "m1 & 9 ! regul> contact ) old fri5ds ?an %e atta*es to promotion = h] husb&4 ,we h no qu>rel ) h] *oice1 if only %e realizes t %e has *os5 some?+ = h]self1 & is n[ liv+ "u conditions dictat$ by h] own *oice4 ,take ,smi?4 ,9 ! language ( bus9ess he is a :ipp$ puppy4 ,aga91 !re is no "q ( 8 ability1 8 desires1 or 8 will+ness to "w4 ,we h1 9 a c]ta9 corporation1 a job = ,smi? :i* w\ld mean a #ej p]c5t increase 9 sal>y1 a place ( notice 9 ! community1 & a wid] acqua9tance among sub/antial p4 ,we h consid]$ him = ?is job a doz5 times1 b ea* "t we h decid$ to po/pone action1 because we are afraid ( ! influ5ce ( 8 wife4 ,on 8 pres5t job1 x does no great damage = h] to be s possessive1 dem&+ all 8 "t outside ( (fice h\rs1 ord]+ him ar\nd l a *ild4 ,on ! new job1 su* a p]=mance w\ld ru9 him be=e he 0 fairly />t$4 ,d>e we dep5d on h] ability & will+ness to gr[ quickly into ! p]son %e w\ld h be5 tra9+ to become8 ,we d>e n1 = we are held responsible = results6 ,j z ,i ?\ght1 "s w say1 bus9ess is inhuman4 ,"o :o takes ?is attitude has an incomplete view ( ! facts4 ,if bus9ess 7 to tol]ate a repetition ( mi/akes1 its g5]al level ( productivity--:i*1 9 turn1 means income to its employees--w\ld be l[]$ imm$iately4 ,?is w\ld op]ate aga9/ ! v ?+ we are try+ to sponsor--increas$ responsibility & m full liv+ = all z soon z !y e>n x4 ,?is po9t ( view frequ5tly gives wom5 no end ( m5tal tr\ble1 because !y are m incl9$ ?an m5 to ?9k subjectively r ?an objectively4 ,bus9ess employs a man = :at he c produce1 o!r ?+s be+ equal4 ,s long z he is morally s\nd & hone/1 bus9ess c>es little ab\t 8 attitudes on o!r subjects4 ,wives measure _! husb&s by _! help+ ) ! h\sework or _! ?\ghtfulness 9 little ?+s ar\nd ! home2 all ( ^! h _! value1 b n 9 ! scale ( production on ! job4 ,s5tim5t c\nts heavily ) ! fem99e m9d1 z x %\ld1 :]eas bus9ess is m reali/ic4 ,bus9ess buys results r ?an int5tions4 ,bus9ess did n h an inh]5t desire to consid] m>riage relations4 ,its int]e/ 9 !m began ) ! _m examples ( maladju/m5t to :i* x 0 compell$ to give att5tion1 9 l9e ) its age-old policy ( believ+ t ev]y?+ is all "r until x is prov$ o!rwise4 ,:5 ! negative consequ5ces 7 br\ght to light1 & bus9ess really became int]e/$1 a con/ructive attitude 0 develop$ :i* ga9$ its mom5tum f ! c\ntless examples :]e wives h be5 major reasons = ! success ( _! husb&s4 ,=tunately = e failure !re are a doz5 successes4 ,! ,mortons1 = example1 are a c\ple :o h f\nd t x pays to live bo? h>moni\sly & progressively at home4 ,m>y ,morton is a conv]t to ! con/ructive attitudes br\ght out by ! t5 que/ions outl9$ e>li]4 ,!y h made x a cu/om to ent]ta9 at lea/ "o ev5+ a week1 always hav+ 9 m9d t c]ta9 p c be bo? good company & helpful 9 bus9ess4 ,!y try to rea* up r ?an d[n 9 ! p ) :om !y m+le4 ,:5 !y 7 to be transf]r$ to ano!r city1 ! news 0 brok5 to !m toge!r 9 _! home by a sup]ior4 ,m>y's fir/ & g5u9e reaction 01 ,x w be f9e to make new fri5ds & to h ! *ildr5 see a new "p ( ! c\ntry4 ,:5 !y arriv$ at ! new city1 ! old process1 s successful 9 _! home t[n1 0 begun aga9--new fri5ds1 new int]e/s1 new gr[?4 ,if !y 7 ev] homesick1 ! firm nev] f\nd x out2 b ,i am incl9$ to believe t !y 7 too busy on con/ructive matt]s to get homesick4 ,morton's sal>y is ?ree times :at x 0 t5 ye>s ago1 & mo/ ( ! cr$it goes to 8 wife4 ,likewise %e is ! *ief b5efici>y4 ,ano!r illu/ration ( ! ext5t to :i* bus9ess recognizes ! pr9ciple ( h>moni\s developm5t ( bo? husb& & wife is %[n by ! exp]i5ce ( ,p>sons4 ,he 0 a junior executive1 capable 9 e direction b "o4 ,:5 a vacancy occurr$ high] up1 he 0 ! logical c&idate2 b ! presid5t ( ! company refus$ to promote him until he _h _h a *ance to demon/rate 8 ability to meet ! social requirem5ts ( 8 position4 ,he conc$$ ,p>sons' brilliance1 8 en]gy1 & ev]y?+ b 8 capacity to become g5u9ely int]e/$ 9 ! p :o 7 bo? above & b5ea? him 9 ! organization4 ,inquiry reveal$ t he 0 mak+ ! be/ ( a situation 9 :i* nei!r he nor 8 wife _h realiz$ ! importance ( social activity4 ,be> 9 m9d t we d n mean a playboy temp]am5t or a m]c5>y attitude1 b r a g5u95ess 9 human contacts4 ,:5 ! problem 0 laid be=e !m1 a program 0 laid out = !m to foll[4 ,p>sons & 8 wife call$ on ev]yone !y felt %\ld n be neglect$1 lat] invit+ to _! own home ^? :o seem$ 9 a position to help !m4 ,dur+ ^! second visits1 ! conv]sation 0 turn$ to :at might be done by p l ourselves to prev5t gett+ into a rut4 ,doz5s ( helpful activities 7 recomm5d$1 & !y made x a bus9ess to explore ! mo/ valuable1 s t !y c\ld tell o!rs ab\t =?com+ meet+s ( discussion gr\ps1 plays1 lectures1 & ! l4 ,)9 six mon?s1 !y _h entirely ov]come ! presid5t's objection1 & a ye> lat] ,p>sons 0 promot$ to ! o!r position at a #bjjj increase 9 sal>y4 ,two facts w occur imm$iately to anyone :o is an intellig5t obs]v] ( su* ?+s3 fir/1 ,p>sons & 8 wife _h a bett] "t aft] ! *ange ?an be=e2 & second1 bus9ess expects p to discov] ^! ?+s = !mselves4 ,?is c\ple 7 m ?an usually =tunate to be l$ by ! h& up to ?is new exp]i5ce4 ,bus9ess gave ,p>sons 8 *ance :5 x p]mitt$ him to demon/rate 8 ability4 ,quick jumps 9 bus9ess are n made available to p ^u ! basis ( _! belief t !y c qualify4 ,bus9ess w\ld be guilty ( ra% speculation ) its funds if positions 7 giv5 to any except ^? :o _h demon/rat$ _! qualifications 9 advance4 ,bus9ess has no "t = or pati5ce ) ^? :o d n recognize ! importance ( ^! ?+s4 ,we h no lic5se to give responsibility to ^? :o say3 ,i didn't "k t ?is 0 important4 ,give me a trial1 & ,i w d my be/ to le>n quickly4 ,! answ] to t is3 ,we h ano!r man :o has be5 qualify+ = _m ye>s4 ,he saw ! place ( ^! ?+s 9 bus9ess progress4 ,we'll risk our money on him4 ,:5 a "y man br+s to bus9ess a reasonable am\nt ( ability & en]gy1 re9=c$ by ! emotional balance :i* comes f ! "r k9d ( home life1 he is likely to surpass bo? 8 own expectations & ^? ( 8 employ]s4 ,bus9ess wants him to succe$4 ,bus9ess wond]s1 z a matt] ( fact1 :y m p d n succe$1 ) ! inc5tives = success s g5]ally op5 to public view4 ,x realizes1 j z y w realize :5 y analyze ! situation1 t ! inc5tives h be5 und]/ood1 b ! ways & means h be5 miss+4 ,?is is a common mi/ake 9 human progress4 ,we h all err$ 9 mak+ someone else want some?+1 ?9k+ t ! process ( ar\s+ desire w\ld insure intellig5t action4 ,mo/ humans realize t !y lack ! ways & means1 a realization :i* acc\nts = ! int]e/ %[n ev]y:]e 9 bett] m>riage relations & 9 ! me?ods = a*iev+ !m4 ,! desire to succe$ is n en\gh4 ,desire has its place1 h[ev]1 once ! ways & means are und]/ood1 because /rong desire su/a9s int]e/ 9 ! ways & means4 ,does ?is seem an idle !ory8 ,n to bus9ess1 ! in/rum5t ?r\gh :i* mo/ m5 & wom5 "w out _! economic security4 ,bus9ess says3 y mu/ %[ u h>mony at home & m5tal gr[? be=e we w believe t y are a safe c&idate = promotion4 ,give u ^! along ) ! ability y h always br\ght u1 & we w make x wor? y\r :ile4 ,we w increase y\r sal>ies4 ,we w put y into jobs :]e y may live 9 bett] neighborhoods1 m+le ) m capable p 9 bus9ess & at home1 give y\r *ildr5 advantages y may nev] h _h1 & provide y ) all ! creature com=ts = successful liv+1 a base ^u :i* y mu/ build y\r own philosophy ( happ9ess1 b )\t :i* no g5u9e happ9ess is probable4 ,be+ compos$ ( reali/s1 bus9ess does n pa9t ^! rew>ds 9 gl[+ colors4 ,x m]ely says1 )\t "q or qualification1 ! happily m>ri$ man w occupy a bigg] position ) u ?an ! man :o is unhappy at home4 ,erne/ ,r4 & ,gladys ,h4 ,groves ,,*apt] ,,twelve ,! ,case = ,monogamy ,if we put (f exam9+ ! case = monogamy until we _h p]sonal que/ions ab\t x1 mo/ ( u w\ld nev] get ar\nd to /udy+ x4 ,= mo/ p no m d\bt t monogamy is ! be/ possible program ?an t good heal? is bett] ?an bad4 ,to argue su* a matt] seems /range4 ,b !re is mu* loose talk ab\t on ! o!r side ( ! case1 cry+ up ! non-monogam\s program practic$ by a few & publiciz$ by m4 ,! adh]5ts ( ?is gr\p are s vocal t _! ideas are con/antly be+ air$4 ,kn[+ !mselves a small m9ority1 ) ! burd5 ( pro( aga9/ !m1 !y excit$ly attack ! exi/+ ord]4 ,_! argum5ts are likely to int]e/ ! av]age p]son1 h[ev]1 only :5 he or %e is mom5t>ily ?r[n (f balance by an emotional upheaval ( "o sort or ano!r4 ,& "r !re is ! dang]4 ,x is h>d = anyone--p>ticul>ly a "y p]son--to make a rational decision :5 8 ?9k+ is color$ by 8 emotions2 8 t5d5cy is to use 8 intellectual processes m]ely to ju/ify :at he wants to d at ! mom5t1 & n to se>* out ! tru?4 ,if he is unprep>$ = ! anti-monogamy argum5ts ready & wait+ = him1 he is likely to accept !m )\t "q4 ,be=e we h occasion to d\bt x1 !re=e1 ^? ( u :o take monogamy z a matt] ( c\rse %\ld und]/& :y we d1 & :at its significance is to u4 ,!n1 if ev] ! occasion does arise1 we %all be bett] able to let our m9ds1 n our passions1 decide ! issue = our great] happ9ess4 ,! "q is %all ,i1 hav+ giv5 myself to "o man or "o woman1 abide by ! till-dea?-d-u-"p v[1 or %all ,i be free to *ange p>tn]s at w8 ,! natural mood ( mo/ m5 & wom5 ent]+ m>riage is deeply monogam\s4 ,! "o ?+ husb& & wife crave is to dep5d only on ea* o!r =ev]4 ,yet lat] on "s ( !m w sudd5ly des]t ! /&>ds ( monogamy )\t giv+ !mselves "t to ?9k1 & o!rs w pass ?r\gh a p]iod ( turmoil be=e mak+ up _! m9ds to g or to /ay4 ,:at has happ5$ 9 ! m>riage exp]i5ce to *ange ^! individuals :o 7 /rong = monogamy into m5 & wom5 ei!r dead set aga9/ x or v d\btful ab\t x8 ,! answ] lies bo? 9 ! p>ticul> temp]am5t ( ! p]sons conc]n$ & 9 c]ta9 *>act]i/ic features ( ! e>ly1 middle1 & lat] /ages 9 m>ri$ life4 ,sometimes a "y man or woman bolts f ! t5ets ( monogamy 9 a late-adolesc5t panic :5 m>riage responsibilities beg9 to be irksome4 ,sometimes x is ! old] man or woman :o m>ri$ 9 good fai? only to lose sight ( ! values ( monogamy4 ,n hav+ ! backbone to accept :at comes & d some?+ ab\t x1 ?is type ( p]son wants to give up z soon z ! go+ gets r\gh1 & daydreams ab\t mak+ a bett] />t else:]e4 ,:at are ! p>ts ( ! m>riage exp]i5ce t br+ out ?is disposition ( want+ to run away 9 ord] to try aga98 ,! romantic love t m>ks ! e>ly "p ( m>riage is a *>act]i/ically y\?ful attitude4 ,ea* sp\se idealizes ! o!r & pictures _! life toge!r z some?+ almo/ unique 9 its p]fection4 ,/imulat$ by ! mate's expectations1 ea* "o rises ab\t 8 or h] previ\s habits ( behavior1 & = a :ile ! two seem inde$ to be f9] & bett] ?an ! g5]al run ( humank9d4 ,9 "t ! fir/ flu% ( en?usiasm we>s (f1 & ! husb& & wife gradually get to see ea* o!r m ne>ly z o!r p see !m4 ,= ^? :o fl9* f reality1 ?is is z bitt] an exp]i5ce z any ( ! o!r h>d p>ts ( gr[+ up4 ,= nobody is x easy4 ,b = all :o face x squ>ely1 x is a big /ep t[>d emotional maturity4 ,)\t ha/5+ ! process1 & !reby los+ mo/ ( its b5efits1 "o c le>n to accept x little by little1 z x comes4 ,! wife :o seem$ ! mo/ beautiful or mo/ graci\s woman imag9able1 ! husb& :o 0 look$ ^u z ! /ronge/ or clev]e/ man 9 ! _w1 sl[ly loses ?is impossible glam\r & %r9ks to ! life size proportions ( a real man or woman4 ,:5 "o cat*es a glimpse ( oneself 9 ! e/imation ( ! newly m>ri$ sp\se1 & realizes h[ f> ! idealiz$ picture is f ! somb] reality "o has gr[n up )1 x is easy to ?9k1 ,i am made diff]5t by ?is love t expects s mu* ( me1 & if ,i am n yet q s wond]ful z my belov$ ?9ks me1 ,i %all soon become s1 = ?is expectation spurs me to hi!rto unimag9able ef=ts4 ,some?+ ( ?is improvem5t does take place--b !n1 to ! *agr9 ( ! "o try+ to improve1 x becomes increas+ly cle> t ! orig9al expectations ( ! mate are be+ l[]$ 9 ! direction ( "o's actual pres5t level ( atta9m5t4 ,surpris+ly en\gh1 by ! "t "o is sure ( ?is1 x is n di/urb+ 9 ! way "o w\ld h expect$1 = "o's own impression ( ! mate is also com+ d[n to e>?4 ,at fir/ ?is desc5t f ! cl\ds ( fanciful exagg]ation ( ! lov$ "o to ! less] /atus ( ev]yday life seems m or less tragic1 z bo? fe> t ! supreme quality ( _! m>riage is vani%+4 ,! m a c\ple h be5 lift$ up by _! romantic atta*m5t = ea* o!r1 ! m !y c be hurt :5 ! we>+ out ( its unreal elem5t drops !m to e>? aga94 ,! ones :o are /\!>t$ en\gh to c\nt _! own hurt a small matt]1 if !y c /ill help ! p>tn] to h some?+ to look =w>d to beyond ! pres5t difficulties1 are matur$ by ?is "p ( _! m>riage exp]i5ce1 & lat] come to look back on :at w5t be=e z a dreamlike "t :5 !y liv$ on no?+ m sub/antial ?an hopes4 ,?is is ! te/+ p]iod ( ! m>riage4 ,ea* p>tn] mu/ cont9ually get us$ to ! new outl9e ( ! o!r's p]sonality z x is %[+ itself1 )\t los+ sight ( ! value ( ! ess5tial quality t p]si/s4 ,( "o ?+ bo? c be sure3 ea* /ill has ne$ ( ! o!r4 ,9 today's mail comes a lett] f a bus9essman :o admits t he _h got out ( ! habit ( %[+ 8 wife h[ he felt ab\t h] 9 ! ru% & worry ( try+ to keep 8 head above wat] f9ancially4 ,n[ t %e 9 h] lonel9ess has lo/ h] he>t to ano!r man1 ! husb& almo/ breaks into poetry 9 tell+ ( 8 feel+s4 ,n v9dictive1 he is j hopeless4 ,if ! wife c\ld h _h imag9ation en\gh to realize ! /r5g? ( 8 ne$ ( h]1 %e w\ld nev] h wrapp$ h]self 9 lonel9ess away f him4 ,! drop f ! tempor>y bliss ( ! beg9n+ ( love to ! la/+ burd5-%>+ ( ! re/ ( life (f]s _m a *ance = hurt feel+s4 ,^? :o lose confid5ce 9 _! own or _! p>tn]'s ability to keep on try+ to live toge!r on a reality basis are g5]ally ! ones :o want to keep "o foot 9 ! dreaml& ( immaturity4 ,if he dr9ks & %e sulks1 bo? w\ld r ?9k !mselves m>tyrs & talk ov] _! tr\bles ) sympa!tic fri5ds ?an get d[n to bus9ess & d some?+ ab\t _! problems4 ,qu>rels are int5se 9 proportion to ! dep? ( t5d] emotion 9 ! backgr\nd4 ,n und]/&+ :at is happ5+ to !m1 ! husb& & wife ?9k x is ! end ( love1 & he may be tempt$ to accept com=t f ano!r woman1 %e f ano!r man4 ,!n !y ne$ desp]ately to "k1 ,:at is ! case = monogamy8 ,hi/ory %[s t monogamy has always be5 accompani$ by increas+ vigor 9 ! society or gr\p practic+ x1 & t its opposite--fre$om f social re/ra9t 9 ! relation%ips ( m5 & wom5--has always be5 associat$ ) social or gr\p decay4 ,b mod]n "y p are int]e/$ 9 ! mean+ ( monogamy = !m p]sonally4 ,monogamy is a go+ on 9 ! heal?y _s ( meet+ :at life br+s1 n runn+ away f x4 ,escape into a sub/itute relation%ip is a go+ back to ! dreamlike /age ( late adolesc5ce1 putt+ new promises ahead ( pres5t p]=mance1 & attempt+ to make life /& /ill1 s t "o may cont9ue on ! ?re%old ( maturity )\t ev] /epp+ ov] into ! place :]e "o mu/ make good "o's promises4 ,no human crav+1 f infancy to dea?1 is /rong] ?an t = security ( affection4 ,:at misleads p into ?9k+ ( go+ outside _! m>riage association1 or want+ to break x = a new "o1 is _! failure to und]/& ! sl[ gr[? ( p]man5t affection4 ,look+ back at ! int5sity ( its beg9n+ 9 romantic love1 !y suppose x is dw9dl+1 :5 x is really tak+ root4 ,z a *ild t has be5 spoil$ at home has a h>d "t gett+ us$ to ! less] att5tion he receives away f home1 ! m>ri$ p]son :o believes t c\rt%ip love is ! ess5ce ( m>riage f9ds x h>d to come d[n to ! quiet] affection t c endure4 ,?is is ! p]son :o1 unable to /& be+ valu$ only = 8 or h] real wor?1 compla9s to an outsid]1 ,nobody und]/&s me4 ,! outsid]1 flatt]$1 murmurs1 ,i d1 & romanticizes ab\t ?is f9e1 unappreciat$ p]son1 only to discov] :5 x is too late t ! p]son 0 only too well und]/ood by ! un=tunate fir/ p>tn]4 ,"o may n be able to make oneself gr[ up sudd5ly & all at once1 b "o c hold on to ! pr9ciples "o kn[s to be wor? fight+ =1 by ! simple process ( refus+ to let g4 ,all k9ds ( wond]ful qualities ne$$ 9 m>riage may seem to be conspicu\s 9 oneself *iefly by _! abs5ce1 b "o c always play = "t4 ,ev5 if infatuat$ ) ano!r p]son1 "o c hang on to :at "o kn[s is "r until ,"t1 ! mighty level] ( passion1 comes to "o's help4 ,an exceptionally happy m>ri$ woman1 aft] go+ ?r\gh ?is ordeal1 said t at ! "t :5 %e 0 almo/ c>ri$ away by an unexpect$ infatuation = a bus9ess associate ( h] husb&'s1 x seem$ z if no?+ 0 real b ! lov]4 ,nei!r ! memory ( pa/ happ9ess ) ! husb& nor ! ?\ght ( 8 future mis]y if %e %\ld leave him 0 able to mean m to h] ?an s _m words4 ,only1 9 h] half-/upefi$ condition1 %e _h ! wit to rememb]1 z "o might recall ! multiplication table )\t c>+ any?+ ab\t x1 t %e _h always previ\sly despis$ p :o act$ on impulse )\t try+ to f9d out ! probable consequ5ces4 ,!re=e %e /uck to h] self-impos$ rule t %e w\ld h no contact ) ! man1 ev5 by lett]1 until %e c\ld get ov] ! /range numbness ( h] emotions t[>d h] husb&4 ,!n1 gradually b ?or\ghly1 %e came out ( h] trancelike infatuation1 until %e f\nd x h>d to rememb] t x _h ev] happ5$4 ,! "t to put on ! brakes 9 *eck+ runaway emotions is be=e !y ga9 mom5tum4 ,:ile ! feel+s ar\s$ /ill seem h>mless1 ! p]son c r$irect 8 or h] en]gy t[>d a m desirable object su* z f9d+ new gr\nds ( communion ) ! sp\se or sublimat+ its expression by turn+ x into con/ructive arti/ic or social *annels4 ,to wait until disa/] ?reat5s be=e tak+ oneself 9 h& is to pile up1 at be/1 a guilty feel+ t "o has n done "o's be/ to meet ! ne$s ( ! mate4 ,^? :o /ep out 9 ! frantic =ties & fooli% fifties complicate ! picture = _! y\ng] obs]v]s4 ,:at !y are try+ to f9d is n s mu* a new ?rill z ! reliv+ ( an old gl[--! hopefulness ( _! lo/ y\?4 ,n cont5t to live ov] 9 memory ! high hopes t 7 !irs :5 life 0 new--because ( ! gap betwe5 expectation & realization--!y close _! eyes to ! new disillusionm5t !y are head+ =1 & ?9k only to %ut out _! s5se ( inadequacy 9 _! pres5t association by /e]+ full /eam ahead = ano!r enc\nt]1 9 :i* ! odds are ev5 m aga9/ !m4 ,"o may ?9k "o doesn't c>e mu* ab\t ! p>tn]1 "o may get tir$ ( li/5+ to ! same old jokes1 ! same set ( worries1 ! same rem9isc5ces2 b let !re be a misund]/&+1 & "o f9ds t "o mu/ c>e trem5d\sly or "o c\ld n be s deva/at$4 ,no association is s humdrum t x _c be quick5$ into life1 no matt] h[ long x has be5 meag]ly tak+ its c\rse4 ,c]ta9 types ( p1 :om we might lump toge!r z a re/less1 discont5t$ lot1 enjoy %opp+ ar\nd = doctors1 = jobs1 = fri5ds1 = lov]s1 nev] /ay+ long en\gh ) any "o doctor1 job1 fri5d1 or lov] to h to take any back talk4 ,z soon z ! fir/ signs ( a c&id relation%ip appe>1 !y are (f1 bag & baggage1 to new] hunt+ gr\nds4 ,we may suspect t :at !y really want is to outrun _! own p]sonality4 ,?is appe>s 9 _! will+ness to sl\gh (f ev5 _! *ildr51 9 an adolesc5t impati5ce ) any b>ri] to an imm$iate desire4 ,s contr>y is ?is to nature t regret foll[s closely _! decision4 ,! *ildr51 h[ev]1 are lad5 ) a burd5 put on !m by _! p>5ts4 ,in/ead ( joyful confid5ce1 !y exp]i5ce a divid$ affection4 ,driv5 to a *oice ( loyalties or caught betwe5 compet+ rivals :o attempt to w9 _! love1 !y are !reby d5i$ security1 ! "o gift e home owes a *ild4 ,dep5d+ z he mu/ ^u 8 p>5ts = ?is1 x is a %att]+ exp]i5ce = him to f9d t ! tw(old support ( 8 exi/5ce is no long] hold+ toge!r4 ,he wants & ne$s n 8 "m or 8 fa!r1 nor j 8 "m & 8 fa!r1 b 8 two p>5ts love-l9k$ toge!r z ! "o s\rce ( /ead9ess 9 a univ]se :i* o!rwise is 9 flux & turmoil4 ,! *ild :o f9ds 8 p>5ts h giv5 up try+ to ma9ta9 _! affectionate int]dep5d5ce is hurt beyond any o!r hurt t c come to him4 ,precoci\sly matur$ by be+ d5i$ t security ( encircl+ affection :i* is 8 "r1 he is =ev] *eat$ ( 8 *ildhood & !re=e c nev] become fully mature emotionally1 b mu/ h great gaps 9 :at %\ld h be5 ! sl[ developm5t ( 8 emotions1 be=e !y h>d5$ into adult =m4 ,! monogamic fell[%ip normally enc\rages ! com+ ( ! *ild4 ,nei!r husb& nor wife c awak5 9 ! o!r ! /rong normal urges t come to expression 9 love fell[%ip1 )\t br++ =? ! desire t seems root$ 9 human nature = a *ild ( _! own4 ,9 any case1 :5 ! *ild does ent] ! home1 exp]i5ce soon makes pla9 8 ne$ ( security4 ,:]e !re is no monogamic commitm5t1 he is =c$ into family life t is confus$1 incomplete1 & unc]ta94 ,9 su* a situation1 op5 z he is to fir/ impressions1 he suff]s mo/1 & n infrequ5tly s deeply z to c>ry emotional sc>s = life4 ,! fri5d ( *ildr5 recoils f ! ?\ght ( any sort ( transi5t mo!rhood or fa!rhood4 ,monogamy provides a /able home 9 :i* ea* memb]--husb&1 wife & *ild--al?\gh !y are cop>tn]s 9 love1 has an indisp5sable1 unique1 & satisfy+ role4 ,monogamy is n a fett]+ ( human impulse1 b a regi/ration ( ! deepe/ ye>n+s ( m5 & wom54 ,! laws t def9e & support x are m]ely man's ef=ts to express ! common op9ion t has tak5 =m out ( ! exp]i5ces ?r\gh ! c5turies ( a great multitude ( p]sons :o1 l ourselves1 h s\ght success 9 m>riage4 ,^? :o ?9k ( monogamy z some?+ impos$ on human nature ?r\gh ext]nal au?ority1 a sort ( /rait jacket ( emotional re/ra9t1 are obtuse to ! ov]:elm+ te/imony ( human nature4 ,monogamy is n e/abli%$ by a ?und]+ edict f ,m\nt ,s9ai1 b by ! quiet1 p]si/5t inw>d-speak+ ( human ne$4 ,! "o-man-"o-woman crav+ is s deeply laid 9 ! /ructure ( all ( u t any o!r way ( mat+ & e/abli%+ a home is ali5 to desire1 ! ?\ght nev] arises1 except :5 ! "o-"t expectations h be5 lo/ ?r\gh p]sonality failure4 ,monogamy is n some?+ t sudd5ly & f9ally takes %ape1 a petrify+ ( emotion t = a season 9 c\rt%ip fl\ri%es4 ,x gets its vitality ?r\gh a gr[? process1 cont9ues ) life1 a spread+ ( an affection always =w>d-look+2 any?+ else is an indication ( a falt]+ m>riage4 ,9 ! beg9n+ love ann\nces ! awak5+ ( mutual ne$4 ,!n ! feel+s fl[ swift & /rong & c>ry ea* t[>d ! o!r4 ,! impulse to possess1 to annex1 to h possession ( ! belov$1 is a consum+ hung]4 ,x is a covet\s grasp+1 a recognition t ! o!r is indisp5sable4 ,out ( ?is comes a union1 & f !n on1 ! two gr[ n only toge!r1 b also _! common fell[%ip gr[s1 becom+ _! way ( life4 ,! passion to possess ! o!r "o1 :o seems ext]nal1 fades away1 & 9 its place comes ! joy ( mutual %>+1 ! security ( an explor+ fell[%ip4 ,x is ?us t monogamy (f]s love its fulfillm5t4 ,!re mu/ be ?is weld+ ( self ) self if ! emotionally awak5$ man or woman is to escape lonel9ess4 ,self-expansion 9 p[]1 di/9ction1 or pleasure does n suffice4 ,any by-oneself fulfillm5t only br+s home ! pr(\nd] ne$ ( a diff]5t a*ievem5t1 n 9 sep>ation1 b ?r\gh union1 ! fusion ( two p]sons 9 a con/ant intimacy4 ,?is gr[+ toge!r comes f no delib]ate1 ef=t-mak+ program4 ,x gr[s out ( ! affectionate liv+ toge!r4 ,x is a day-by-day consolidation1 n only ( int]e/ or exp]i5ce1 b ( satisfactions4 ,x is ?is t l$ ,plato long ago to say t ! man or woman ap>t f ! o!r is incomplete1 a p>tial p]son1 hung]+ = ! ne$$ lov]4 ,monogamy is1 h[ev]1 n a m]e gett+ toge!r2 x is a gr[+ toge!r4 ,x furni%es ! opportunity = cont9u$ unrival$ intimacy1 & its on-go+ n only /r5g!ns ! life toge!r1 b makes x pregnant ) ! =ces t lead to "* gr[?4 ,monogamy is !re=e a pref]5ce1 usually s mu* a matt] ( c\rse z to seem ! natural way ( liv+4 ,?is expla9s its supremacy among ! s*emes ( human mat+4 ,x is a product ( love ties1 b only z ^! fl\ri% 9 a matur+ intimacy4 ,x asks no m ?an t ea* memb] ( ! fell[%ip gr[ ) ! o!r4 ,monogamy is inde$ a te/ ( "*1 b n 9 "s extraord9>y1 ari/ocratic way t w\ld put x out ( ! rea* ( mo/ ( u4 ,al?\gh its b5efits _c be _h = ! m]e ask+1 x is d5i$ to no "o :o 9 s9c]ity lives 9 love ) ! p]son ( 8 *oice4 ,x is an a*ievem5t1 b n 9 ! s5se t "o ev5tually awak5s to discov] t he has at la/ arriv$ at a monogamic relation%ip4 ,x is r a h&-9-h& walk+ ?r\gh life ( a man & woman1 ea* hav+ *os5 ! o!r & (f]$ 8 e possession4 ,x z surely adds to "* z x dem&s "*4 ,! vitaliz+ union provides inc5tives t enri* bo? "* & ambition4 ,! two %>+ a common life add m1 d m1 & feel m ?an ea* f\nd possible 9 _! "o-"t isolation4 ,?is 9 turn /r5g!ns ! union & makes ea* m indisp5sable to ! o!r4 ,!y d n attempt to duplicate ea* o!r1 b kn[+ t _! love is secure1 ea* ga9s ?r\gh ! life contact ( ! o!r4 ,x 0 ?us t ,rob]t & ,elizabe? ,br[n+ ea* affect$ ! quality ( ! o!r's "w1 bo? be+ able to write deep] & m human poetry z a result ( _! m>riage4 ,x is mo/ important = an und]/&+ ( monogamy t x n be ?\ght ( z a monotony1 a pet]+ out ( ! en]gy ( love until ! high hopes ( ! confid5t lov]s disappe> 9 a drab1 toilsome exi/5ce4 ,?is fad+ out does come to m>ri$ p j z x does to ^? :o h nev] m>ri$4 ,rightly us$1 h[ev]1 monogamic fell[%ip protects by mak+ adv5ture 9 life m ze/ful because x is %>$4 ,h[ev] h>d & dre>y exp]i5ce becomes1 x is m s if "o walks alone & less s if its te/+ is met by two :o travel onw>d 9 love4 ,monotony is always a reflection ( inn] losses4 ,s long z we are alive to :at is1 s long z we h ! feel+s t uncov] ! ze/fulness ( ?+s1 we keep out ( ! des]t4 ,monogamy _c gu>antee en?usia/ic liv+1 b und\bt$ly1 by enc\rag+ mutual love1 x protects ! roots f :i* mo/ ( all ea* ( u draws vitality4 ,:5 ! relation%ip becomes monoton\s1 !re is ! same confession ( failure z :5 day-by-day happ5+s gr[ /ale & repell5t4 ,! diff]5ce is t :5 love goes1 ! =tress has be5 tak5 & all life flatt5s out4 ,! exclusiv5ess ( monogamic fell[%ip1 ! out-com+ ( ! deep hung] = a unique exp]i5ce 9 affection1 c be greatly mis9t]pret$ by fail+ to see t x is human nature's ef=t to keep to ! gold5 mean z "o is driv5 by trem5d\s impulses t[>d ! supreme man-woman comrade%ip4 ,9 all su* relation%ips !re is on "o side ! extreme :i* %[s itself :5 "o memb] ( ! intimacy cru%es & de/roys ! p]sonality ( ! o!r4 ,?is ev5tually spoils ! union by mak+ x a conque/ ( "o by ! o!r4 ,! opposite disa/] appe>s :5 !re is no fusion at all b m]ely an alliance ( two indep5d5t1 self-c5t]$ p]sons :o come toge!r 9 ! _s ( tempor>y self-int]e/ & refuse to develop a common life4 ,ev5 :5 !y ma9ta9 ! lett] ( ! monogamic code1 !y lose its _s4 ,9 contra/ ) ^! un=tunates1 victims ( w-to-p[] & self-c5t]$ passion1 ^? 9 monogamic fell[%ip enl>ge ! life !y %>e4 ,"o (t5 notices1 z did ,hudson1 ! naturali/1 9 8 description ( ! ,engli% %eph]d's home1 t husb& & wife rea* su* und]/&+ t !y %>e feel+ )\t rec\rse to words2 & ga!r s mu* 9 common t z !y travel ?r\gh ! ye>s !y d1 inde$1 seem to gr[ ev5 to look l ea* o!r4 ,!y w9t] & summ] toge!r1 & :5 "t s5ds ! *ildr5 to _! own adv5tures1 we he> ^! life-te/$ lov]s1 h& 9 h&1 say+3 ,gr[ old along ) me6 ,! be/ is yet to be1 ,! la/ ( life1 = :i* ! fir/ 0 made4 ,index ,acquiesc5ce1 #ajb1 #aji ,adju/m5ts1 m>ital1 #i-aa1 #af1 #ajd-aaj ,adolesc5ce1 #aai1 #aeh ,adopt$ *ildr51 #id-if ,advancem5t1 wife's contribution to bus9ess1 #adb-aec ,affection1 security (1 #aei ,all[ance1 wife's1 #af1 #di ,ambition1 #f1 #afd ,am]ican ,eug5ic ,society1 #ij-ia ,antagonism1 emotional1 #ajd-aje ,ap>tm5t h\ses1 #bj-ba ,appe>ance1 pres]v+ attractive1 #gh-gi ,appliance replacem5ts1 #gj-ga ,art museums1 visits to1 #be1 #aai ,assessm5ts1 prop]ty1 #gb ,automobile3 depreciation (1 #gj exp5ses1 #fi-gj ,baby3 bonds1 #hd budget1 #hh "t = fir/1 #hb-hd ,bacon1 ,"l1 #ij ,banks1 sav+s1 #fg ,bann+1 ,m>g>et ,culk91 #be ,baseball1 #ag ,biologies1 #aah ,biologi/s1 h]$ity /udies (1 #cb ,bir?3 control me?ods1 #bc que/ions (1 #aad-aaf1 #aah rate1 #da season (1 #cc wea!r &1 #cc-cd ,bir?days1 em95t p's1 #cc-cd ,blood te/s1 #bb ,blund]s1 m>riage1 #a-b1 #e1 #h1 #bj-ba1 #dh1 #ig-aaj ,bor$om1 #afa1 #afe ,borr[+1 budget &1 #ai1 #ga1 #hd ,brides-to-be1 advice to1 #ag ,bridge1 advice on1 #ag ,briti% ,diction>y ( ,national ,biography1 #cd ,br[n+1 ,rob]t1 #abg1 #ach-aci ,budget3 baby1 #hh borr[+ &1 #ga family1 #fg-gi ,bus9ess3 failures1 #ada-adb wife's aid 91 #ada-aec ,buss+1 ,elizabe?1 #ff-gi ,buy+ 7see ,pur*as+7 ,c>e]s1 wives'1 #dc-ec ,c>lyle1 #acc ,cells1 sp]m1 #ce1 #aag ,*all5ge1 m>riage1 #a ,"*3 c\rt%ip c&idate's1 #f developm5t1 #abh-abi1 #afd ,*a/ity1 b5efits (1 #be ,*eck+ acc\nt1 wife's1 #af ,*e]fulness1 wife's1 #adg ,*ild m>riages1 #aah ,*ildr53 adopt$1 #id-if clo!s (1 #gh co/ (1 #df1 #fi1 #hb-hd1 #hi-ij cultural value (1 #db economic read9ess =1 #dj-db1 #hb-hd1 #ij emotional /ability (1 #aac environm5t (1 #ie fe$+1 #hb heal? (1 #bh1 #gh1 #hb-hc h]itage rights (1 #bh illegitimate1 #id insurance =1 #ga-gb lack (1 #bi-cj1 #ic-id m>ital conflict &1 #afa-afb m$ical c>e (1 #bh1 #gh1 #hb-hc monogamy &1 #afb numb] (1 #dj-db1 #hb-hc1 #ij nurs+1 #hc p>5ts' responsibility to1 #afa-afb plann+ =1 #af1 #bh-bi1 #ca1 #dj-db1 #df1 #fi1 #hj-if1 #ajg pleasures (1 #hb po/pon+1 #df prep>+ =1 #af sav+ =1 #dj-db1 #hb-hd1 #ij sex activities (1 #aba-abe sex in/ruction (1 #aaa-abe slid+-wage scale =1 #ia spoil$1 #aei toys (1 #gh ,*ri/ian fai?1 #acg ,*ur* att5dance1 #acd-ace ,city ap>tm5t h\ses1 #bj-ba ,clo?+3 all[ances1 #fi-gj1 #gc1 #gh1 #ig1 #adf-adg *ild's1 #gh depreciation (1 #gj p>ty1 #d wife's1 #adf-adg ,college /ud5ts3 m>riage c\rses1 #ab1 #be prem>ital exam9ation (1 #aj-ab ,compromises1 #eg-ei ,conc5trat$ intimacy1 #fj-fa ,conc]ts1 #ag ,conflict1 avoid+ m>ital1 #ig-aaj ,con/itutional vigor1 #cc-cd ,contempt1 #ajd ,conv]sation3 b5efits ( good1 #ah wife's1 #adf-adg ,coop]ation1 #ajc-ajd ,c\rage1 #g1 #ajc ,c\rts1 avoid+ divorce1 #ig-aaj ,c\rt%ip1 #a-ab ,c\rt%ip c&idate3 "* (1 #e-f c\rage (1 #g m5tal gr[? (1 #f we>+ qualities (1 #e-f ,c[>dice1 #ajb-ajc ,criticism1 #af ,culture1 aids to1 #adb ,date1 w$d+1 #af ,day-to-day exp5ses1 #gj ,dea? /ati/ics1 #cb ,debt1 dang]s (1 #ai1 #ga1 #hd ,defective tee?1 #cj de ,maupassant1 ,guy1 #aca ,d5tal bills1 #gg ,dep5d5ce1 mutual1 #dh ,dep5d5ts3 m>riage &1 #ai provision =1 #gj ,depreciation all[ances1 #gj-ga ,diabetes1 #cj ,dick9son1 ,/anley ,g41 #adj-aec ,diet1 #cd ,d9n]-table conv]sation1 #adg ,dionne qu9tuplets1 #aah ,disappo9tm5ts1 m>riage1 #a-b1 #e1 #h1 #bj-ba1 #dh1 #ig-aaj ,disease /ati/ics1 #cb ,divorce3 av]t+1 #ig-aaj gr\nds =1 #bi rates1 #ad1 #bj-ba ,doctor3 bills1 #gg-gh c]tificate ( fitness by1 #bb c\nsel+ s]vice (1 #aj1 #be-bf1 #cj1 #cf-cg1 #ib-ic ,dress 7see ,clo?+7 ,drummond1 ,h5ry1 #acg ,duncan1 ,mat!ws1 #ic ,durable goods budget1 #gj-ga ,duty1 m>riage1 #bg-db ,e>n+ p[]3 husb&'s1 #ff-fi1 #ada wife's1 #gc-gd ,economy1 dome/ic1 #ff-gi1 #ig ,education3 heal?1 #ce religi\s1 #abf-aci sex1 #i-aj1 #ab1 #aaa-abe1 #abh ,elem5t>y s*ool *ildr51 sex in/ruction (1 #aad ,emotional3 antagonism1 #ajd-aje in/ability1 #ca-cb1 #cf1 #adb1 #add1 #aei-afj reactions1 #d-e re/ra9t1 #h /ability1 #ac1 #cd1 #fa-fb ,emotions3 *eck+ runaway1 #aei-afj *ild's1 #aac ,employm5t1 wife's outside1 #ba1 #gc-gd ,engagem5t3 intimacy (1 #af l5g? (1 #ah p]iod1 #ac-bf ,eng9e]+ s*ool1 m>riage &1 #ai ,engl&1 bir?days 91 #cc ,ent]ta9m5t exp5se1 #gf-gg1 #adg ,environm5t3 *ild's1 #ie defects1 #cb-cf home1 #adj-ada po/natal1 #ce-cf pre-natal1 #ce-cf ,eug5ics1 progress (1 #cf ,ev]yday life1 p>ty mann]s v]sus1 #d ,exam9ations1 m$ical1 #aj-ab1 #bb1 #bh-bi1 #cf1 #id ,ex]cise1 b5efits (1 #ag-ah1 #gf-gg ,exp5se1 m>riage1 #ff-gi1 #hh ,extravagance1 #ge1 #gh ,eyesight1 poor1 #cj ,failures1 m>riage1 #a-b1 #e1 #h1 #bj-ba1 #ig-aaj ,fai?3 ,*ri/ian1 #acg religi\s1 #abf-aci ,family3 budget1 #af1 #ah1 #fg-gi1 #adj-ada doctor1 #aj1 #be-bf1 #cj1 #cf-cg1 #ib-ic income1 #af1 #di insurance1 #ga-gb jokes1 #ajg joys1 #ajf-ajg plann+1 #bh-bi1 #ca1 #hj-if size (1 #dj-db1 #hb-hc1 #ij support (1 #ff-gi1 #ajh welf>e1 #aji-aaj ,fa!r fixation1 #f-g ,fatigue /ati/ics1 #cb ,fault-f9d+1 avoidance (1 #af ,fau/1 #acc ,feeblem9d$ness1 #ca ,f]tilization1 #aad1 #aag-aah ,f9ancial3 indep5d5ce1 #dh-di plann+1 #af1 #ah1 #de1 #ff-gi ,f+]s1 mis%ap$1 #cj ,fire insurance1 #gb ,fi%+1 #ag ,fitness3 = m>riage1 #bb1 #bg-db physical1 #bh-ca ,food3 budget1 #fh-gj1 #gc1 #hb *ild's #hb ,france1 bir?days 91 #cc ,frankness1 #ajh ,fri5ds1 value (1 #bj-ba1 #fj ,fuel1 co/ (1 #fi ,furniture replacem5ts1 #gj-ga ,gallagh]1 ,e4 ,g41 #id ,g]many1 bir?days 91 #cc ,gift$ wom51 #eb-ec ,golf1 #ag ,good ,h\sekeep+3 ,heal? & ,happ9ess ,club1 #hd m>riage-relations c\rse1 #adj ,gospels1 read+ (1 #acd-ace ,grooms-to-be1 advice to1 #ag-ah ,groves1 ,dr4 ,erne/ ,r41 #a-ab1 #aed-aff ,groves1 ,gladys ,hoagl&1 #ed-fe1 #aed-aff ,grudges1 surr5d] (1 #ajd ,guidance3 m>riage1 #c1 #i-aj1 #ab1 #be-bf1 #cj1 #cf-cg1 #ef-fe1 #ib-ic ,h>dy1 ,?omas #acg ,h>elip1 #cj ,h>mony1 home & bus9ess1 #adb-aec ,h>p]1 ,presid5t1 #abi ,h>t1 ,dr4 ,hornell1 #ig-aaj ,heal?3 & ,happ9ess ,club1 #hd *ild1 #bh education1 #ce ideal temp]atures =1 #cc wea!r influ5ces on1 #cb-cd ,he>t ailm5ts1 #cj ,heat1 co/ (1 #fi ,h]$it>y defects1 #cj-cf ,h]$ity /udies1 #cb ,high s*ool *ildr51 sex in/ruction (1 #aad-aae1 #aah ,hobbies1 #ag ,home3 acquir+ equipm5t =1 #af *ildless1 #bi-cj *ildr5 spoil$ at1 #aei cultural value (1 #db environm5t1 #adj-ada1 #adc happ9ess 91 #bh1 #ajg h>mony ( bus9ess &1 #adb-aec moral code (1 #abd-abe location (1 #bj-ba own]%ip1 #ga-gc plann+1 #ba pur*ase price (1 #gc religion 91 #abf-aci r5t+1 #fg-gj1 #gb-gd sex in/ruction 91 #aaa-abe /ability (1 #afb ,honeymoon arrangem5ts1 #bj ,hospital3 bills1 #gd1 #gg-gh1 #hc plan1 #gg ,h\sehold managem5t1 #dd ,hudson1 on %eph]d's home1 #aff ,human3 g5etics1 #cf reproduction1 #aad-abj ,hunt+ton1 ,dr4 ,ellswor?1 #bb1 #bg-db1 #hi ,husb&3 dep5d5ce ( wife &1 #dh selection (1 #c-e und]/&+1 #ajg ,idiots1 #ca ,illegitimate *ildr51 #id ,imbeciles1 #ca ,income3 husb&'s1 #ff-fi1 #ada wife's outside1 #gc-gd ,incubator babies1 #aah ,indebt$ness1 m>riage &1 #ai1 #ga1 #hd ,india1 bir?days 91 #cc ,infatuations1 #aei-afj ,inh]itance1 *ild's1 #bh ,+e1 ,dean1 #ace ,in/ruction3 religi\s1 #abf-aci sex1 #i-aj1 #ab1 #aaa-abe1 #abh ,insurance3 b5efits to *ildr51 #ga-gb *oice (1 #ah-ai fire1 #gb life1 #fg1 #ga-gc r5ewable t]m1 #ga-gb /raight life1 #ga ,intemp]ance1 #bd1 #aeh ,int]e/s1 developm5t (1 #adf ,intimacy1 undue conc5tration (1 #fj-fa ,irritants1 elim9ation (1 #aje-ajf ,jeal\sy1 #af1 #ajd ,jokes1 family1 #ajg ,joys1 family1 #ajf-ajg ,junior-high-s*ool *ildr51 sex in/ruction (1 #aah ,k5yon1 ,dr4 ,joseph9e ,hem5way1 #hd ,laboratory exp]im5ts1 controll$1 #cb-cc ,law s*ool1 m>riage &1 #ai ,lease1 own]%ip v]sus1 #fg-gj1 #gb-gd ,leisure1 #adb ,lic5se1 m>riage1 #bb ,life3 adju/m5ts1 #fc *ang$ ways (1 #g-h ev]yday1 #d intimacy ( m>ri$1 #ed-fe joys ( m>ri$1 #abg1 #adj-aec mode (1 #cd ref9em5ts (1 #adb successful m>ri$1 #ac-ae1 #bb1 #ed-fe1 #ajb-aaj1 #adj-aec1 #afc-afd ,life insurance3 company budget =ms1 #fg provision =1 #ga sav+s aspect (1 #gb-gc /raight1 #ga ,lit]ature1 sex1 #i-aj1 #ab ,longevity3 vigor &1 #cc-cd wea!r &1 #cc-cd ,love3 aids to1 #afc e>li]1 #ae fall+ 91 #ac qu>rels1 #af1 #aeg ,luxury clo!s1 #gc ,mann]s1 p>ty1 #d ,m>riage3 adju/m5ts1 #i-aa1 #af1 #ajd-aaj b5efits (1 #adj-aec blund]s1 #a-b1 #e1 #h1 #bj-ba1 #dh1 #ig-aaj *all5ge1 #a *ild1 #aah cl9ics1 #be college c\rses on1 #be conf]5ces on1 #be dep5d5ts &1 #ai dur+ po/-graduate tra9+1 #ai dur+ pr(essional tra9+1 #ai1 #fh-fi duties1 #bg-db eng9e]+ s*ool &1 #ai exp5ses1 #ff-gi failures1 #a-b1 #e1 #h1 #bj-ba1 #dh1 #ig-aaj fitness =1 #bb1 #bg-db guidance1 #c1 #i-aj1 #ab1 #be-bf1 #cj1 #cf-cg1 #ef-fe1 #ib-ic happ9ess1 #abg1 #adj-aec ha/y1 #ah 9 pov]ty1 #df-dg law s*ool &1 #ai lic5se1 #bb moral conduct aft]1 #af ( "u-graduates1 #ai outside occupations aft]1 #dc-ec ov]e/imat+1 #h1 #aeg p]sonality adju/m5ts aft]1 #i-aa1 #af1 #ajd-aaj po/ponem5t1 #ai-bj1 #bc prep>atory c\rses1 #ab1 #ad1 #ag1 #be1 #adj program ( action1 #ajh-aji progress1 #fc-fe relations c\rse1 #adj "r1 #bg-db rules = successful1 #ac-ae1 #bb1 #ed-fe1 #ajb-aaj1 #adj-aec1 #afc-afd secret1 #bj1 #bc sex exp]i5ce be=e1 #bc-bf slid+-wage scale =1 #ia spiritual side (1 #bd /ati/ical /udies1 #ad-ae te/+ p]iod1 #aeg tra9+1 #ab1 #ad1 #ag1 #be1 #adj unfitness =1 #cj-cf union1 #ef-eg vacations f1 #ag :ile indebt$1 #ai wisdom (1 #bg-db ,m>%all1 ,dr4 ,jessie1 #hj-if ,mate 7see ,wife7 ,mat+1 #aad1 #aag-aah ,mc,conaughy1 ,dr4 ,james ,l41 #ac-bf ,meak]1 ,dr4 ,samuel ,r41 #id ,meals1 *ild's1 #hb ,me*anical appliances1 co/ (1 #gj-ga ,m$ical3 advice1 #aj1 #be-bf1 #cj1 #cf-cg1 #ib-ic c>e ( *ild1 #gh1 #hb-hc exam9ations1 #aj-ab1 #bb1 #bh-bi1 #cf1 #id exp5se1 #gg-gh pr(ession 7see ,doctors7 ,m5/ruation1 #aai ,m5tal3 defici5cy1 #ca-cb inh]it$ ability1 #cd gr[?1 #f1 #gh-gi1 #adb ,m]$i?1 ,george1 #abi-acj ,mills1 ,pr(essor ,c4 ,a41 #ce ,mis%ap$ f+]s1 #cj ,mismat+1 #ae ,mi/akes1 m>riage1 #a-b1 #e1 #h1 #bj-ba1 #dh1 #ig-aaj ,monogamy3 b5efits (1 #aed-aff *ildr5 &1 #afb ,monotony1 av]t+1 #afa1 #afe ,moral conduct1 #af ,m1 ,paul ,elm]1 #acf ,morons1 #ca ,"m fixation1 #f-g1 #ii-aja ,museums1 visits to1 #be ,music appreciation1 #ag ,natural hi/ory1 #aah-aai ,nagg+1 avoidance (1 #af ,novak1 ,dr4 ,emil1 #ib ,nurs+ exp5se1 #gh1 #hc ,occupation3 *oice (1 #bg wives' outside1 #dc-ec ,organic diseases1 #ib ,outdoor sports1 #gf-gg ,ov]ton1 dea? (1 #acd ,p>5?ood3 age =1 #hb-hd responsibilities (1 #b1 #afa-afb ,p>5ts3 dom9ation by1 #ad1 #bj-ba1 #ii-aja liv+ )1 #ba ,p>ty3 dress1 #d exp5ses1 #gf-gg1 #ig mann]s1 #d ,p]sonal3 budget1 #fg-gi gr[?1 #adb ,p]sonality adju/m5ts1 #af1 #ee-ef ,pets1 value (1 #aah ,phelps1 ,william ,lyon1 #abf-aci ,physical exam9ation 7see ,m$ical exam9ation7 ,physical ex]cise1 #gf-gg ,physical fitness3 doctor's c]tificate (1 #bb pres]v+1 #bh-cd1 #gh-gi ,physical vigor1 #cc-cd ,physician 7see ,doctor7 ,picnick+1 #gf ,plato1 #afd ,play1 b5efits (1 #gf-gg ,pluck1 c\rt%ip c&idate's1 #g ,pocket money1 wife's1 #af1 #di ,poise1 developm5t (1 #adf ,po/-graduate tra9+1 m>riage dur+1 #ai ,po/natal environm5t1 #ce-cf ,po/ponem5t1 m>riage1 #ai-bj1 #bc ,pov]ty1 m>riage 91 #df-dg ,pray]1 #acd ,pregnancy1 #ib1 #aad-aae1 #aah ,prem>ital3 c\rses ( /udy1 #ab relations1 #bc-bd ,premiums1 insurance1 #ga-gb ,pre-natal environm5t1 #ce-cf ,pre-s*ool *ildr51 sex in/ruction (1 #aad ,pret5se1 avoidance (1 #gd ,pr(ession1 *oice (1 #bg ,pr(essional tra9+1 m>riage dur+1 #ai1 #fh-fi ,program ( action1 jo9t1 #ajh-aji ,prop]ty3 assessm5ts1 #gb taxes1 #gc upkeep1 #gc1 #gf ,psy*iatri/s1 advice (1 #f ,psy*ic trauma1 #abd ,pur*as+ economies1 #ge-gf ,qu9tuplets1 occurr5ce (1 #hh ,radio appreciation1 #ag ,rates1 insurance1 #ga-gb ,recreation exp5se1 #gc1 #gf-gg ,refrig]ation co/s1 #gj ,religion 9 home1 #abf-aci ,r5o1 avoid+1 #a-b1 #e1 #h1 #bj-ba1 #ig-aaj ,r5ts1 #fg-gj1 #gb-gd ,reproduction3 human1 #aad-abj seasonal cycle (1 #cc-cd ,res5tm5t1 #ajd ,resid5ce1 location (1 #bj-ba ,respect1 mutual1 #ei-fj ,responsibilities1 wife's1 #adb-aec ,"r1 m>riage1 #bg-db ,romance3 aids to1 #h1 #af-ag c>eless seek+ (1 #aja ,roosevelt1 ,eleanor1 #dc-ec ,russia1 bir?days 91 #cc ,sav+s acc\nts1 #gb-gc1 #ig ,sav+s banks1 budget =ms (1 #fg ,sci5tific me?od1 #ad-ae ,scold+1 avoidance (1 #af ,season ( bir?1 #cc ,secret m>riages1 #bj1 #bc ,selection1 wise mate1 #c-e ,self-acqua9tance1 #d-e ,self-c5t]$ engrossm5t1 #fj-fa ,self-consci\sness1 #ca ,self-control1 #ca ,self-discipl9e1 #h ,self-expansion1 #afc ,selfi%ness1 #cb1 #eg-ei1 #ajc ,sem9al emissions1 #aai ,sex3 adju/m5ts1 #i-aa1 #fc education1 #i-aj1 #ab1 #aaa-abe1 #abh exp]i5ce be=e m>riage1 #bc-bf fru/ration1 #ih-ii1 #aja lit]ature1 #i-aj1 #ab mann]isms1 #ee-ef meet+ opposite1 #c-d misdemeanors1 #aba-abe te*nique1 #i-aa temp]am5ts1 #ee-ef ,%akespe>e1 #ace ,%elt]1 co/ (1 #fg-gj ,%ort-sight$ness1 #cj ,social affairs3 exp5se (1 #gf-gg plann+1 #adg ,social gr\p3 keep+ up )1 #gd vigor (1 #aeh ,social tra9+1 #acb ,s\sa1 ,john ,philip1 #acf ,spa91 bir?days 91 #cc ,sp5d+1 ord]ly1 #ff-gi ,sp]m cells1 #ce1 #aag ,spiritual developm5t1 #abf-aci ,spoil$ *ild1 #aei ,sports3 enc\ragem5t (1 #ag-ah outdoor1 #gf-gg ,/ati/ical /udies1 m>riage1 #ad-ae ,/]ility1 #bi-cj1 #ic-id ,/raight life insurance1 #ga ,/ra91 ,frances ,bruce1 #aaa-abe ,sunday3 obs]vance (1 #acd recreation1 #acd ,s*ool1 #acc ,success1 m>riage1 #ac-ae1 #bb1 #ed-fe1 #ajb-aaj1 #adj-aec1 #afc-afd ,support1 family1 #ff-gi ,sw$51 bir?days 91 #cc ,syphilis1 #bh ,tact1 #af ,ta/es1 #ee-ef ,taxes1 prop]ty1 #gc ,tee?3 c>e (1 #gg defective1 #cj ,temp]1 loss (1 #ca ,temp]am5t1 #ee-ef ,temp]atures1 heal?1 #cc ,t5nyson1 #abg1 #ach ,t]m insurance1 r5ewable1 #ga-gb ,!atre exp5ses1 #gf1 #adg ,toys1 *ild's1 #gh ,tra9+ 7see ,education7 ,travel+ exp5se1 #fh-fi1 #gf ,tru/1 mutual1 #fc-fd ,turg5ev1 #abg ,tw9s1 recurr5ce (1 #hh ,und]graduates1 m>riage (1 #ai ,union1 build+ m>riage1 #ef-eg ,unit$ ,/ates1 bir?days 91 #cc ,upkeep1 prop]ty1 #gc1 #gf ,ut]us1 #aae ,vacation all[ances1 #gf ,v5]eal disease1 #be1 #bh ,vigor3 longevity &1 #cc-cd society's1 #aeh ,wages3 husb&'s1 #ff-fi1 #ada slid+ scale (1 #ia wife's1 #gc-gd ,we>+ "*1 c\rt%ip c&idate's1 #e-f ,wea!r3 *ild conception &1 #cc-cd longevity &1 #cc-cd ,w$d+ date1 fix+1 #af1 #bj ,welf>e1 family1 #aji ,wife3 aid to bus9ess progress1 #ada-aec all[ances1 #af1 #di attitude (1 #d *>act]i/ics (1 #d1 #f *eck+ acc\nt (1 #af *e]fulness (1 #adg *ildless1 #gb conv]sational ability (1 #adf-adg dep5d5ce ( husb& &1 #dh emotional reactions (1 #d-e ent]ta9+ ability (1 #adg gift$1 #eb-ec home all[ances (1 #af1 #di h\se1 #dd income control by1 #af insurance =1 #gb m5tal gr[? 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