,,etiquette ,,by ,,agnes ,h4 ,,morton ,,au?or ,,( ,,lett] ,,writ+1 ,,quotations1 ,c4 ,,good ,,mann]s ,,= ,,all ,,p1 ,,especially ,,= ,,^? ,,:o ,,dwell ,,)9 ,,! ,,broad ,,zone ,,( ,,! ,,av]age 7,,revis$ ,,edition7 ,,philadelphia ,,! ,,p5n ,,publi%+ ,,company #aiai ,copyright1 #ahib1 ,by ! ,p5n ,publi%+ ,company ,cont5ts ,,introduction ,i4 ,,e?ics ,,( ,,etiquette ,,ii4 ,,visit+ ,,c>ds ,,! ,,(fice ,,( ,,! ,,visit+ ,,c>d4 ,,/yle ,,( ,,c>ds4 ,,! ,,engrav+ ,,( ,,visit+ ,,c>ds4-- ,c>ds = ,m52 ,c>ds = ,wom52 ,c>ds = ,"y ,wom52 ,aft] ,m>riage ,c>ds4 ,,! ,,use ,,( ,,! ,,visit+ ,,c>d4-- ,call+ 9 ,p]son2 ,c>d-leav+ 9 ,lieu ( ,p]sonal ,calls2 ,cases 9 :i* ,p]sonal ,c>d-leav+ is ,requir$2 ,c>ds by ,mess5g] or by ,po/2 ,c>d-leav+ by ,proxy4 ,,"s ,,fur!r ,,illu/rations ,,( ,,c>d ,,usage4 ,,iii4 ,,c]emoni\s ,,c>ds ,,& ,,invitations4 ,,etiquette ,,( ,,replies4 ,,! ,,high ,,tea1 ,,or ,,musicale1 ,,etc4 ,,w$d+ ,,invitations4 ,,d9n] ,,invitations4 ,,lun*eon ,,& ,,breakfa/ ,,invitations4 ,,iv4 ,,! ,,conduct ,,( ,a ,,*ur* ,,w$d+ ,v4 ,,ent]ta9+ ,,vi4 ,,aft]noon ,,receptions ,,& ,,teas ,,vii4 ,,! ,,d9n] ,,s]vice ,,requisites ,,= ,,! ,,d9+-,,table4 ,,! ,,=mal ,,arrangem5t ,,( ,,! ,,d9n]-,,table4 ,,! ,,arrival ,,( ,,gue/s1 ,,mean:ile4 ,,! ,,ann\ncem5t ,,( ,,d9n]4 ,,! ,,s]v+ ,,( ,,! ,,d9n]4 ,,miscellane\s ,,po9ts4 ,,d9n]-,,table ,,talk4 ,,in=mal ,,d9n]s4 ,,viii4 ,,lun*eons ,,ix4 ,,supp]s ,x4 ,,breakfa/s ,,xi4 ,,ev5+ ,,p>ties ,,xii4 ,,! ,,tw5tie? ,,c5tury ,,xiii4 ,,! ,,/rang] ,,t ,,is ,,)9 ,,?y ,,gates ,,xiv4 ,,make ,,y\rself ,,at ,,home ,,xv4 ,,z ,,! ,,twig ,,is ,,b5t ,,xvi4 ,,social ,,"y ,,am]ica ,,xvii4 ,,! ,,am]ican ,,*ap]one ,,xviii4 ,,greet+s4 ,,recognitions4 ,,introductions ,,xix4 ,,behavior ,,9 ,,public ,,?or\ghf>es ,,xx4 ,,9 ,,public ,,assemblies ,,xxi4 ,,be>+ ,,& ,,spee* ,,xxii4 ,,self-,,comm& ,,xxiii4 ,a ,,few ,,po9ts ,,on ,,dress ,,xxiv4 ,,p]sonal ,,habits ,,xxv4 ,,social ,,co-,,op]ation ,,xxvi4 ,,on ,,! ,,w+ ,,xxvii4 ,,etiquette ,,( ,,gifts ,,xxviii4 ,,gallantry ,,& ,,coquetry ,,xxix4 ,,9 ,,conclusion ,,introduction ,z a rule1 books ( etiquette are writt5 f ! /&po9t ( ! ultra-fa%ionable circle4 ,!y give l>ge space to ! details ( behavior on occasions ( extreme conv5tionality1 & describe m9utely ! conduct prop] on /ate occasions4 ,b ! majority 9 e t[n & village are p ( mod]ate means & quiet habits ( liv+1 to :om ! extreme =malities ( ! _w ( fa%ion w always rema9 some?+ ( an ab/raction1 & ! k ( !m is n ( mu* practical use except to ! few :o are reflective en\gh to inf] _! own p>ticul> rule f any illu/ration ( ! g5]al code4 ,?\gh x is int]e/+ z a matt] ( in=mation to "k h[ a /ate d9n] is conduct$1 /ill1 z a matt] ( fact1 ! d9n]s usually giv5 )9 ?is broad zone ( ! av]age are s]v$ )\t ! assi/ance ( butl]1 footman1 or flori/2 innoc5t ( w9es & m9us ! m elaborate & exp5sive c\rses2 & ?\gh s]v$ a la ,russe ! s]vice is "u ! wat*ful sup]vision ( ! ho/ess h]self & execut$ by ! m or less skillful h& ( a demure maid-s]vant4 ,yet1 9 all ess5tial po9ts1 ! laws ( etiquette controll+ ! conduct ( ?is simple d9n] ( ! ,am]ican democrat are ! same z ^? obs]v$ 9 ! c]emoni\s banquet ( ! ambiti\s ari/ocrat4 ,! degree ( =mality v>ies2 ! quality ( c\rtesy is un*ang+4 ,well-mann]$ p are ^? :o are at all times ?\ghtfully obs]vant ( little proprieties ,su* p d n =get _! mann]s :5 away f home4 ,!y eat at ! hotel table z da9tily & ) z polite reg>d = ! com=t ( _! ne>e/ neighbor z ?\gh !y 7 among critical acqua9tances4 ,!y nev] elb[ m]cilessly ?r\gh cr[d$ !atre aisles1 nor /& up 9 front ( o!rs to see ! pictures ( a panorama1 nor all[ _! *ildr5 to climb ^u ! c> seats ) muddy or r\gh-nail$ %oes2 nor d a score ( o!r ?+s t e day are to be obs]v$ 9 public places1 ! mortify+ tell-tale m>ks ( an habitual ill-mann]s4 ,! importance ( con/ant att5tion to po9ts ( etiquette _c be too e>ne/ly emphasiz$4 ,! long lecture ( in/ruction to ! little ,ruggles'1 prep>atory to _! visit to ! ,birds1 is a comical--if burlesque--illu/ration ( ! em]g5cy t sometimes faces "s p1 t ( sudd5ly prep>+ to behave !mselves on a great occasion4 ,al?\gh ! little ,ruggles' 7 fir$ ) ambition to d !mselves cr$it1 _! crude prep>ation 0 n equal to ! occasion4 ,! be/ ( int5tions c\ld n at once take ! place ( e/abli%$ cu/om4 ,"o might z well ha/ily wrap himself 9 a y>d or two ( uncut broadclo? expect+ x to be trans=m$1 by in/ant miracle1 into a coat4 ,! g>m5t mu/ be cut & fitt$1 & adju/$ & worn = a space ( "t be=e x c become ! well-fitt+ habit1 worn ) ! easy grace ( unconsci\sness :i* m>ks ! habitually well-mann]$4 ,9 ?is brief volume ,i h endeavor$ to sugge/ "s ( ! fundam5tal laws ( good behavior 9 e-day life4 ,x is hop$ t ! conclusions rea*$1 :ile n claim+ to be ei!r exhau/ive or infallible1 may be useful z f> z !y g4 ,:]e au?orities diff] z to =ms ,i h /at$ ! rule :i* has ! mo/ widespread sanction ( good usage4 ,,etiquette ,,e?ics ,,( ,,etiquette ,etiquette is ! t]m appli$ to correct behavior 9 social life1 & ref]s to ! mann] ( actions & ! expression ( a prop] social _s ?r\gh ! m$ium ( e/abli%$ =ms & c]emonies4 ,polite usage recognizes c]ta9 m9ute di/9ctions betwe5 ! mann]ly & ! unmann]ly ways ( p]=m+ e act ( life t affects ! com=t & happ9ess ( o!rs4 ,by "o ^: exp]i5ce 9 life has be5 a h>d5+ process t5d+ 9 ! direction ( a cry/alliz$ selfi%ness ! rules ( etiquette are reg>d$ ) contempt & allud$ to ) a sne]4 ,no m di%e>t5+ problem faces ! social re=m] ?an ! "q h[ to ov]come ! bitt] ho/ility to ref9$ mann]s :i* m>ks ! ignorant l[] classes4 ,on ! o!r h&1 !re is no m hopeful sign ( progress 9 civilization ?an ! gradual s(t5+ ( ^! h>d natures "u ! influ5ce ( social am5ities4 ,! secret ( successful mission>y "w lies prim>ily1 n 9 tracts1 nor 9 dogmas1 nor 9 exhortations1 b 9 ! subtle attraction ( a ref9$1 b5evol5t _s1 brea?+ its v self into ! lives ( ^? :o h hi!rto kn[n only ! rasp+1 grasp+ selfi%ness ( _! fell[-m51 & to :om ?is new gospel ( bro!rly k9dness & def]5ce is a m>vel\s revelation & inspiration4 ,! result ( su* mission>y "w is a triumph ( sanctifi$ c\rtesy1 a triumph n unwor?y ! disciples ( ,him :o w5t ab\t do+ good :ile tea*+ & exemplify+ ! gold5 rule ^u :i* all rules ( etiquette1 h[ev] worldly1 are bas$4 ,p]haps x may sometimes seem t !re is little relation1 possibly ev5 "s antagonism1 betwe5 ! s9c]ity ( p]fect c\rtesy & ! proprieties ( =mal etiquette4 ,at times etiquette requires u to d ?+s t are n agreeable to our selfi% impulses1 & to say ?+s t are n lit]ally true if our secret feel+s 7 kn[n4 ,b !re is no in/ance :]e9 ! laws ( etiquette ne$ transgress ! law ( s9c]ity :5 ! ultimate purpose ( ea* action is to develop & su/a9 social h>mony4 ,sometimes1 = example1 we invite p to visit u1 & we pay visits 9 return1 :5 bo? occasions are1 on ! face ( x1 a bore4 ,yet !re may be good reasons :y we %\ld sacrifice any m]e impulse ( *oice & ex]t ourselves to manife/ a hospitable _s t[>d c]ta9 p :o are mo/ uncong5ial to u4 ,sometimes = ! sake ( ano!r :o is de> to u1 & :o1 9 turn1 is atta*$ to ^! same unattractive p1 we make ! ?ird l9e ( ! triangle *e]fully1 & ev5 gladly1 no matt] h[ on]\s ! task1 h[ di/a/eful ! association =c$ ^u u4 ,^! are n happy exp]i5ces1 b !y are te/s ( "* t we are all liable to meet & :i* prove a mo/ excell5t discipl9e if !y are met ) discretion & pati5ce4 ,moreov]1 9 ! consci5ti\s ef=t to be agreeable to disagreeable p we are tacitly try+ to p]suade ourselves t !y are n s disagreeable aft] all1 & inde$ su* is our surpris+ discov]y 9 _m in/ances4 ,let u hope t o!rs :o ex]cise a simil> =be>ance t[>d ourselves are equally flatt]+ 9 ! conclusions :i* !y rea*4 ,etiquette requires t we %all treat all p ) equal c\rtesy1 giv5 ! same conditions4 ,x has a t5d5cy to ignore ! individuality ( p4 ,we may n slight "o man simply because we d n l him1 nor may we publicly exhibit extreme pref]5ce = ! "o :om we d l4 ,9 bo? cases ! rebel aga9/ ! re/ra9ts ( social mice %\ts ! *>ge ( ins9c]ity4 ,well1 p]haps "s ( ! impulses ( s9c]ity are bett] held 9 *eck2 !y are too closely alli$ to ! humor+ ( our *]i%$ prejudices4 ,if tact consi/s 9 kn[+ :at n to say1 etiquette consi/s 9 kn[+ :at n to d 9 ! direction ( manife/+ our impulsive likes & dislikes4 ,besides1 etiquette is n s mu* a manife/ation t[>d o!rs z x is an expon5t ( ourselves4 ,we are c\rte\s to o!rs1 fir/ ( all1 because su* behavior only is consi/5t ) our own claim to be well-br$4 ,be>+ ?is 9 m9d we c behave ) s]5ity 9 ! pres5ce ( our mo/ aggravat+ foe2 8 wor/ manife/ation ( himself fails to provoke u to retort 9 k9d4 ,we treat him politely1 n because he des]ves x1 b because we owe x to ourselves to be g5tle-mann]$4 ,etiquette beg9s at self4 ,!re is no wor?y def]5ce to o!rs t does n re/ on ! basis ( self-respect4 ,to ?9e own self be true2 ,& x mu/ foll[1 z ! night ! day1 ,?\ can/ n !n be false to any man4 ,x is a sup]ficial judgm5t t descries no?+ b ins9c]ity 9 ! unv>y+ suavity ( a well-br$ mann]2 t reg>ds ! conv5tional code ( behavior z m]ely a device = r5d]+ social life artificial4 ,! raison d'etre is always to be f\nd 9 ! e/abli%$ rules ( etiquette2 & probably ! mo/ exact+ & seem+ly unnecess>y ( =malities has its f\ndation 9 "s good common s5se pr9ciple n f> remov$ 9 _s f ! rule gold54 ,9 %ort1 mann]s & morals are tw9 %oots f ! same root4 ,! ess5tially well-br$ man is he ^: mann]s are ! polite expression ( moral pr9ciple1 magnanimity1 & b5evol5ce4 ,,visit+ ,,c>ds ,,! ,,(fice ,,( ,,! ,,visit+ ,,c>d ,! p]sonal1 or visit+1 c>d is ! repres5tative ( ! individual ^: "n x be>s4 ,x goes :]e he himself w\ld be entitl$ to appe>1 & 9 8 abs5ce x is equival5t to 8 pres5ce4 ,x is 8 d\ble1 delegat$ to fill all social spaces :i* 8 v>i\sly-occupi$ life w\ld o!rwise compel him to leave vacant4 ,s9ce ! c>d is to be receiv$ z ! equival5t ( "o's self1 x is important t x %all be discreetly s5t ^u its embassy4 ,9 e case :]e p]sonal c>ds are correctly us$ ! own] is accr$it$ ) hav+ p]=m$ de facto :atev] ! c>d expresses = him1 be x a call1 a regret1 a congratulation1 an apology1 an introduction1 a f>ewell-tak+1 or :atev]4 ,! rules guid+ ! uses ( visit+ c>ds are bas$ ^u ?is idea ( repres5tation4 ,! deputy is on duty only 9 ! abs5ce ( 8 sup]ior1 s ! c>d is usually sup]flu\s :5 ! own] himself is pres5t4 ,a c>d s5t at a wrong "t sugge/s ! possibility t ! own] might blund] simil>ly 9 8 p]sonal appe>+4 ,! neglect to s5d a c>d at a prop] "t is equival5t to a p]sonal neglect4 ,! man :o comes himself & h&s y 8 c>d also is apt to h too _m elb[s at a d9n]1 too _m feet at a ball4 ,he has ab\t him a sugge/ion ( awkw>d sup]flu\sness t is subtly consi/5t ) 8 duplicate ann\ncem5t ( himself4 ,= want ( ! mu*-ne$$ g5d]less s+ul> pron\n ,i h be5 us+ ! mascul9e =m2 b ^u reflection ,i rememb] t x is ! wom5 ( society :o h ! mo/ div]se responsibility 9 ! managem5t ( p]sonal c>ds1 _! duties ext5d+ ev5 to ! c>e & ov]sight ( ! c>ds ( _! socially c>eless & neglig5t male relatives4 ,b no matt] :o att5ds to ! proprieties1 ! relation ( ! c>d to its own] is ! same 9 all cases4 ,if 8 c>d blund]s1 he gets ! discr$it ( x4 ,if 8 c>d always flutt]s gracefully into ! salv] at exactly ! "r "t & place1 ! glory is all 8 own1 ev5 ?\gh 8 tireless wife or "m or si/] has done all ! h>d ?9k+ be/[$ on ! matt]4 ,happy ! man alli$ by ! ties ( close k9dr$ to a gift$ society woman1 = lo6 8 c>ds %all nev] be f\nd miss+1 :]ev] he may /ray4 ,,/yle ,,( ,,c>ds ,! prevail+ %ape ( c>ds = wom5 is ne>ly squ>e 7ab\t #b #a_/b x #c in*es74 ,a f9e dull-f9i%$ c>d-bo>d ( m$ium weight & /iffness is us$4 ,a man's c>d is small]1 & n>r[] proportionately2 & is ( slightly heavi] c>d-bo>d4 ,! color is pe>l :ite1 n cream4 ,t9t$ c>ds are n admissible4 ,! engrav+ is pla9 script1 or elaborate text2 z ! fa%ion may = ! "t decree4 ,! responsibility ( furni%+ ! correct /yle ( c>d re/s ) ! engrav]1 ^: bus9ess x is to "k ! rul+ fa%ion ( ! day4 ,any "o may h an elegant c>d by intru/+ ! *oice to a fir/-class /ation]4 ,b x is n half ! battle to secure an elegant c>d4 ,an elegant use ( ! c>d di/+ui%es ! well-in=m$ 9 social usage4 ,?is di/9ction %[s :5 ! di/ribution ( c>ds beg9s4 ,,! ,,engrav+ ,,( ,,visit+ ,,c>ds ,,c>ds ,,= ,,m5 ,if ! surname is %ort1 ! full "n may be engrav$4 ,if ! names are long1 & ! space does n admit ( _! full ext5sion1 ! initials ( giv5 names may be us$4 ,! =m] /yle is pref]r$1 :5 practicable4 ,9 ! abs5ce ( any special title prop]ly accompany+ ! "n--z ,rev41 ,dr41 ,col41 etc41--,mr4 is always prefix$4 ,good =m requires ?is on an engrav$ c>d4 ,if 9 any em]g5cy a man writes 8 own "n on a c>d he does n prefix ,mr4 ,:at titles may prop]ly be us$ on a man's visit+-c>d8 ,! di/9ctions made 9 ! use ( titles seem arbitr>y unless "s reason c be discov]$4 ,! rule %\ld be1 to omit f visit+-c>ds all titles t signify transi5t (fices1 or occupations n relat$ to social life2 us+ su* titles only z indicate a rank or pr(ession t is = life2 & :i* has become a "p ( ! man's id5tity1 or :i* is di/9ctly alli$ to 8 social conditions4 ,to illu/rate3--,! rank ( an (fic] 9 ! army or ! navy %\ld be indicat$ by title on 8 c>d1 8 connection ) ! s]vice be+ = life1 & a "p ( 8 id5tity4 ,8 p]sonal c>d is engrav$ ?us3 ,g5]al ,s*(ield--! title 9 full :5 only ! surname is us$2 or1 ,g54 ,w9field ,scott1 ,g54 ,w4 ,s4 ,hancock--! title abbreviat$ :5 ! giv5 names1 or _! initials1 are us$4 ,! fir/ /yle is appropriate to ! ,comm&]-9-*ief1 or ! s5ior (fic]2 or 9 any case :]e no o!r (fic] ( ! same "n & rank is on ! ro/]4 ,(fic]s on ! retir$ li/1 & vet]an (fic]s ( ! late w> :o rose f ! volunte] ranks1 reta9 _! titles by c\rtesy4 ,& v appropriately s1 s9ce ! w> record ( _m a gallant soldi] is insep>able f ! man himself1 9 ! m9ds ( 8 fell[-citiz5s4 ,he may h retir$ to private life aga91 b 8 di/+ui%$ s]vices h outliv$ ! brief h\r ( action2 & 8 h]o-wor%ip+ c\ntrym5 w always recognize him 9 8 mo/ sali5t "*1 e in* a soldi]4 ,x is q impossible to call him ,mr41 or at once to "k :o is meant if 8 c>d reads--= in/ance--,mr4 ,lucius ,fair*ild4 ,no?+ b ! title ( 8 well-e>n$ rank gives an adequate idea ( ! man4 ,! (ficial c>ds ( political (fic]s & ambassadors1 :i* be> ! title & (fice ( ! man--) or )\t 8 "n--%\ld be us$ only on (ficial or ,/ate occasions1 & dur+ ! t]m ( (fice4 ,:5 ! incumb5t /eps d[n & out1 ?is c>d is also relegat$4 ,8 fri5ds may cont9ue to greet him z ,gov]nor1 b he no long] uses ! title himself4 ,9 /rictly social life1 ! p]sonal c>d ( ! ex-,gov]nor is l t ( any o!r private citiz51 subject to ! same rules4 ,simil>ly1 pr(essional or bus9ess c>ds t be> ev] s slight an adv]tisem5t ( occupations are n all[able = social purposes4 ,! ?ree le>n$ pr(essions1 !ology1 m$ic9e1 & law1 are equally = life4 ,b ! occupation ( ! lawy] is di/9ctly relat$ to bus9ess matt]s1 & n at all to social affairs4 ,8 title1 or sub-title1 ,esquire1 is prop]ly ignor$ on 8 visit+-c>d1 & socially he is simply ,mr4 ,john ,liv+/one4 ,on ! o!r h&1 ! call+s ( ! cl]gyman & ! physician respectively1 are closely alli$ to ! social side ( life1 closely id5tifi$ ) ! man himself4 ,!re=e ,rev41 or ,dr4 may ) propriety be consid]$ z =m+ an insep>able comp\nd ) ! "n4 ,! title is an important id5tify+ m>k1 & its omission1 by ! cl]gyman1 at lea/1 is n /rictly dignifi$4 ,(fice h\rs are n ann\nc$ on a physician's social c>d4 ,x is n good =m to use m]ely honor>y titles on visit+-c>ds4 ,9 mo/ cases1 a man %\ld lay aside all pret5sion to special (fice or rank1 & appe> 9 society simply z ,mr4 ,john ,br[n1 to take 8 *ances 9 ! social _w /rictly on 8 own m]its2 assur$ t if he has any m]it1 o!r p w discov] x )\t an o/5tati\s rem9d] ( x 9 ! %ape ( a pomp\s visit+-c>d4 ,( c\rse ?is sugge/ion ( democratic simplicity ref]s to ! engrav+ ( "o's own c>d2 o!r p address ! man prop]ly by 8 (ficial or honor>y title1 ) all due respect = ! wor? :i* ! _w recognizes--ev5 ?\gh ! we>] ( su* honors ignores 8 own claim to high di/9ction4 ,bl[ y\r own trumpet1 if y w\ld he> x s\nd1 is a %>ply s>ca/ic bit ( advice1 s9ce only hopeless m$iocrity c\ld ev] pr(it by ! injunction4 ,real m]it ne$s no trumpet]4 ,mrs4 ,grant c\ld af=d to call h] husb& ,mr4 ,grant1 z 0 h] mode/ cu/om2 because all ! _w knew t he 0 ! ,g5]al ( our armies1 & ! ,presid5t ( ! republic4 ,x is "s ,mayor ,puff1 ( ,boomt[n1 :o c h>dly be p]suad$ by ! engrav] f giv+ himself ! satisfaction ( incid5tally ann\nc+ on 8 visit+-c>ds ! result ( ! la/ bor\gh election4 ,a man's address may be engrav$ b5ea? 8 "n at ! l[] "r corn]1 ! /reet & numb] only if 9 a city1 or ! "n ( a c\ntry-seat if out ( t[n2 z1 ,! ,leas[es4 ,ba*elors :o belong to a club may add ! club address 9 ! l[] left corn]2 or1 if !y live altoge!r at ! club1 ?is address occupies ! l[] "r corn]4 ,an engrav$ address implies "s p]man5cy ( location4 ,^? :o are liable to frequ5t *anges ( address w\ld bett] omit ?is addition to ! visit+-c>d1 writ+ ! address 9 any em]g5cy t requires x4 ,no messages are writt5 on a man's c>d1 & no p5cil+ is all[$1 except z above1 to give 7or correct7 ! address1 or 9 ! case ( ,p4 p4 c4 c>ds1 s5t by po/4 ,,c>ds ,,= ,,wom5 ,! rules 9 reg>d to titles are simple & brief4 ,a woman's "n %\ld nev] appe> on a visit+-c>d )\t ei!r ,mrs4 or ,miss prefix$4 ,! exception w\ld be 9 ! case ( wom5 :o h regul>ly graduat$ 9 !ology or m$ic9e4 ,su* are entitl$1 l _! bro!rs1 to prefix ,rev4 or ,dr4 to _! names4 ,a m>ri$ woman's c>d is engrav$ ) h] husb&'s "n1 ) ! prefix ,mrs4 ,no matt] h[ titl$ ! husb& may be1 8 titles d n appe> on 8 wife's visit+-c>d4 ,! wife ( ! ,presid5t is n ,mrs4 ,presid5t ,h>rison1 b ,mrs4 ,b5jam9 ,h>rison4 ,%e is ! wife ( ! man1 n ! wife ( 8 (fice or 8 rank4 ,a wid[ may1 if %e pref]s1 reta9 ! c>d engrav$ dur+ h] husb&'s lifetime1 unless by s do+ %e confuses h] id5tity ) t ( "s o!r ,mrs4 ,john ,br[n1 ^: husb& is /ill liv+4 ,x is m /rictly correct = a wid[ to resume h] own giv5 "n1 & to h h] c>d engrav$ ,mrs4 ,m>y ,br[n1 or1 if %e *ooses to indicate h] own patronymic1 ,mrs4 ,m>y ,dext] ,br[n4 ,an unm>ri$ woman's c>d is engrav$ ) h] full "n1 or ! initials ( giv5 names1 z %e pref]s1 b always ) ! prefix ,miss 7unless "o ( ! pr(essional titles ref]r$ to takes its place74 ,! address may be engrav$ or writt5 9 ! l[] "r corn]4 ,if a society woman has a p>ticul> day = receiv+ calls1 t fact is ann\nc$ 9 ! l[] left corn]4 ,if ?is is engrav$1 x is und]/ood to be a fix$ cu/om2 if writt51 x may be a transi5t arrangem5t4 ,if a weekly at home day is obs]v$1 ! "n ( ! day is engrav$1 z ,tuesdays4 ,?is means t dur+ call+ h\rs on any ,tuesday ! ho/ess w be f\nd at home4 ,if h\rs are limit$1 t is also indicat$1 z f #d to #f4 ,fur!r limitations may be specifi$1 z ,tuesdays 9 ,febru>y1 ,tuesdays until ,l5t1 ,tuesdays aft] ,octob]1 etc4 ,any def9ite idea ( "t may be giv5 to meet ! facts1 ! word+ be+ made z t]se z possible4 ,if ! regul> at home day is ,tuesday 7unlimit$71 & ! c>d is s engrav$1 any ( ! special limitations may be p5cil$ 9 to meet special conditions4 ,sometimes an in=mal invitation is ?us convey$2 z1 by ! addition1 ,tea1 #d to #f1 etc4 ,o!r p5cil+4--,c>ds left or s5t1 be=e leav+ t[n1 h ,p4 p4 c4--7,p\r pr5dre conge7--p5cil$ 9 ! l[] left corn]4 ,a holiday1 a bir?day1 a w$d+ anniv]s>y1 or o!r ev5t 9 a fri5d's life may be rememb]$ by s5d+ a c>d1 ^u :i* is p5cil$ ,greet+1 ,congratulations1 ,be/ wi%es1 or "s simil> expression4 ,su* c>ds may be s5t alone1 or may accompany gifts4 ,any brief message may be p5cil$ on a woman's c>d1 provid$ ! message is suffici5tly p]sonal to p>take ( ! nature ( a social c\rtesy4 ,b ! c>d message %\ld n be s5t :5 c\rtesy requires ! m explicit & respectful =m ( a note4 ,,c>ds ,,= ,,"y ,,wom5 ,9 /rictly =mal circles a "y woman1 dur+ h] fir/ ye> 9 society1 pays no visits alone4 ,%e accompanies h] "m or *ap]on4 ,%e has no sep>ate c>d1 b h] "n is engrav$1 or may be writt51 b5ea? t ( h] "m 7or *ap]on7 on a c>d employ$ = ^! jo9t visits4 ,aft] a ye> or s ( social exp]i5ce 7! p]iod be+ gov]n$ by ! y\? or maturity ( ! debutante1 or by ! exig5cy ( mak+ way = a y\ng] si/] to be *ap]on$71 ! "y woman becomes an id5tity socially1 & has h] sep>ate c>d1 subject to ! g5]al rules = wom5's c>ds1 ev5 ?\gh %e cont9ues to pay h] mo/ =mal visits 9 company ) h] "m4 ,,aft] ,,m>riage ,,c>ds ,dur+ ! fir/ ye> aft] m>riage c>ds engrav$ ?us3 ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,h5ry ,bell ,joyce1 may be us$ by ! c\ple 9 pay+ calls1 or return+ w$d+ civilities4 ,su* c>ds are also us$ :5 jo9tly s5d+ pres5ts at any "t4 ,= g5]al visit+1 aft] ! fir/ ye>1 husb& & wife h sep>ate c>ds4 ,,! ,,use ,,( ,,! ,,visit+-,,c>d ,a too pr(use use ( visit+-c>ds indicates crudity4 ,! tr5d ( fa%ion is t[>d re/rict+ ! quantity ( pa/e-bo>d1 & employ+ c>ds always :5 !y are requir$1 nev] :5 !y are sup]flu\s4 ,,call+ ,,9 ,,p]son ,:5 "o calls 9 p]son ! "n ( ! call] is giv5 v]bally to ! s]vant :o op5s ! door4 ,! c>d is n usually s5t up1 except by a /rang]4 ,b sometimes !re is difficulty 9 mak+ ! s]vant und]/& ! "n or prop]ly di/+ui% x f "s o!r simil> "n4 ,9 ?is case to avoid mi/akes ! c>d is s5t up4 ,if ! ho/ess is n at home a c>d is left by ! disappo9t$ call]4 ,on ! occasion ( a fir/ call a c>d is left on ! hall table1 or o!r place provid$1 ev5 ?\gh ! call] has be5 receiv$ by ! ho/ess4 ,?is s]ves z a rem9d] t ! acqua9tance has be5 duly & =mally begun4 ,on ! occasion ( subsequ5t calls1 :5 ! ho/ess is at home1 no c>ds are employ$1 except1 z be=e /at$1 to av]t s]vants' mi/akes4 ,su* is ! s5sible dictum ( good au?orities1 & "o 9 h>mony ) ! idea t ! p]sonal c>d is ! repres5tative ( its own]1 n 8 accompanim5t4 ,?is idea is m po9t$ly illu/rat$ 9 quiet neighborhoods1 :]e ev5 ! weal?y live simply ( *oice1 &1 l _! neighbors ( mod]ate means1 employ b "o dome/ic1 or1 x may be1 none4 ,9 su* h\seholds (t5 ! gue/ is met at ! door by a memb] ( ! family1 possibly ! ho/ess h]self4 ,! use ( a visit+-c>d !n is pla9ly incongru\s1 n to say absurd4 ,! visitor :o is pay+ a fir/ call "u ^! in=mal conditions may f9d opportunity to drop a c>d unobtrusively into ! basket1 if su* receptacle be )9 rea*2 b if ?is _c be done )\t conspicu\s ef=t ! c>d is bett] ignor$1 & its place z a remembranc] fill$ by ! g5ial impression :i* ! visitor leaves1 & ( :i* an appreciative ho/ess ne$s no c>d rem9d]4 ,besides1 p liv+ quietly visit s little1 comp>atively1 t x is no sev]e tax on ! memory to recollect :o has call$1 especially z ! infrequ5cy ( calls gives ample "t = ea* "o to make an individual impression4 ,?is is n possible :5 a /eady /ream ( visitors is p\r+ 9 & out ( a draw+-room on a fa%ionable woman's at home day1 sc>cely giv+ ! ho/ess opportunity to gaze ^u "o face be=e ano!r has displac$ x2 s t at ! end ( ! h\r h] memory recalls a composite photograph4 ,c>ds are h] indisp5sable aids 9 resolv+ ?is picture into its compon5t elem5ts4 ,b ^? :o live quietly1 receiv+ b few calls1 h no su* bewild]+ complexity to deal )4 ,at ! same "t1 ^! p ?us quietly environ$ may repres5t ! mo/ ref9$ & cultivat$ circle4 ,!y may "k p]fectly well :at =mal etiquette w\ld dem& 9 ! matt] ( c>ds if ! conditions 7 m =mal4 ,! omission ( c>ds :5ev] _! use w\ld be =c$1 s f> f indicat+ ignorance1 is a pro( ( discrim9ation4 ,p]sonal calls are made 9 ! foll[+ cases3 ,9 return+ a fir/ visit1 made 9 p]son4 ,aft] a d9n] p>ty to :i* "o has be5 invit$1 :e!r ! invitation 0 accept$ or n4 ,aft] any ent]ta9m5t o!r ?an a d9n] x is all[able to leave or s5d c>ds in/ead ( pay+ a p]sonal call4 ,?is is a wise rule 9 cases :]e a ho/ess1 has a long visit+ li/1 & ent]ta9s frequ5tly4 ,to receive aft]w>d p]sonal visits f all ( h] gue/s w\ld be practically impossible4 ,! majority w express _! ackn[l$gm5ts by c>d1 leav+ x to ! mo/ intimate fri5ds ( ! ho/ess to pay _! respects 9 p]son4 ,b among quiet p1 :]e "o ,tea is ! ext5t ( a ho/ess' ef=ts = ! season1 ! p]sonal call is desirable z %[+ great] respect & fri5dl9ess4 ,among cong5ial fri5ds only ! plea ( a busy life c make ! c>d ackn[l$gm5t q z graceful & acceptable z ! p]sonal visit4 ,b if ! gue/ is a comp>ative /rang]1 &1 = any reason1 !re is a wi% n to ext5d ! acqua9tance1 ! s5d+ ( a c>d meets all ! requirem5ts ( etiquette1 )\t committ+ ! s5d] to any fur!r intimacy4 7,! alt]native = p]sonal calls1 is p]sonal c>d-leav+2 ! next po9t to be consid]$47 ,,c>d-,,leav+ ,,is ,,lieu ,,( ,,p]sonal ,,calls ,:5 p]sonal calls are n practicable1 nor desirable1 ! leav+ ( c>ds is accept$ z an equival5t4 ,a few ye>s ago1 fa%ion dem&$ t all visit+-c>ds express+ or ackn[l$g+ social civilities %\ld be left 9 p]son2 ! alt]native 9 em]g5cies be+ to s5d !m by ! h& ( a private mess5g]1 nev] ?r\gh ! po/-(fice4 ,!re 0 good excuse = ?is fa%ion 9 our gr&mo!r's day1 :5 ! po/ 0 a sl[ coa*1 or a /orm-/ay$ po/illion2 b ! admirable sy/em ( our po/al s]vice to-day leaves no excuse = ! prejudice 9 favor ( ! private mess5g]2 & x is n surpris+ t fa%ion has yield$ to common s5se 9 all[+ t _m ( ^! c>ds ( c\rtesy may1 ) p]fect propriety1 be s5t by po/4 ,! foll[+ in/ances illu/rate ! pres5t correct usage 9 reg>d to ^! ?ree ways ( leav+ c>ds4 ,,cases ,,9 ,,:i* ,,p]sonal ,,c>d-,,leav+ ,,is ,,requir$ ,aft] a fir/ hospitality1 :e!r accept$ or n4 ,calls ( condol5ce4 ,aft]-d9n] calls by c>ds4 ,alt]native4--,9 su* cases1 :5 p]sonal c>d-leav+ is impossible1 ! c>d is s5t by a private mess5g]1 & an explanation1 or apology1 is s5t by note4 ,c>ds ( condol5ce may be s5t by po/ by fri5ds at a di/ance2 b n by p]sons resid+ 9 ! ne> vic9ity4 ,,c>ds ,,by ,,mess5g]1 ,,or ,,by ,,po/ ,9 all cases :]e p]sonal c>d-leav+ is n imp]ative1 c>ds may be s5t ei!r by mess5g] or by po/4 ,z ! =m] is /ill reg>d$ by _m p]sons--especially eld]ly p--z ! only /rictly polite m$ium ( transf]1 x is consid]ate to s5d c>ds1 invitations1 etc41 to su* p by ! good old-fa%ion$ mess5g]1 r ?an to %ock unnecess>ily a cry/alliz$ s5se ( propriety by ru?less innovations4 ,b 9 g5]al x is m conv5i5t & q z neat & reliable to s5d by po/2 & ! fa%ion ( s do+ is n[ fully adopt$ by ! y\ng] g5]ation1 & no long] subject to criticism4 ,9 /at+ :at may be done1 9 ! way ( escap+ p]sonal tasks1 we are m]ely m>k+ ! b\nds ( propriety 9 "o direction4 ,on ! o!r h&1 9 mo/ cases1 ^? :o *oose may make p]sonal calls in/ead ( ^? sev]al =mal c>d-leav+s4 ,:5 good =m all[s alt]natives1 ea* "o mu/ judge = himself :i* =m ( expression is mo/ appropriate 9 any giv5 case4 ,frank cordiality1 am\nt+ to in=mality1 may be 9 ! be/ ta/e 9 "s oases2 :]eas1 9 o!r in/ances1 only ! mo/ conv5tional & res]v$ expression ( respect is ei!r agreeable or discreet4 ,9 ! latt] case1 let y\r c>d speak = y1 & at long range--! long] ! bett]4 ,,c>d-,,leav+ ,,by ,,proxy ,"o ( ! peculi> p]missions ( good =m is t :i* all[s a man to delegate ! di/ribution ( 8 visit+-c>ds to a ne> female relative1 :5ev] x becomes impracticable = him to att5d to ! matt] p]sonally4 ,only ! wom5 ( 8 own h\sehold1 or a relative ) :om he habitually pays visits1 c ?us repres5t a man by proxy4 ,9 ?is c\ntry1 :]e mo/ society m5--c]ta9ly ! bett] elem5t--are bus9ess m51 ^: days are fill$ ) e>ne/ "w & cr[n$ ) ! a*ievem5ts ( indu/ry1 x is n to be expect$ t m5 ( affairs w always be ready to respond to social invitations1 or to pay all ! calls ( civility :i* fa%ion decrees %all be paid dur+ ! h\rs usually devot$ to bus9ess4 ,9 !ory1 ea* man & woman 9 society is suppos$ to att5d to 8 or h] own social duties4 ,:ile x is expect$ t a man w make all reasonable ef=t to d ?is1 & t he w n altoge!r neglect x1 /ill1 s long z he occasionally appe>s p]sonally1 ) a g5ial demeanor t proves ! s9c]ity ( 8 good int5tions1 x w be accept$ 9 good "p if1 9 a l>ge numb] ( in/ances1 8 c>d1 in/ead ( himself1 appe>s1 br\ght by ano!r h&4 ,b let m5 rememb] t ! good excuse mu/ be obvi\s4 ,any suspicion ( indiff]5ce robs ! proxy c>d-leav+ ( all effect z a complim5t4 ,9 case a man is legitimately prev5t$1 by bus9ess c>es1 f pay+ calls or leav+ 8 c>ds 9 p]son1 x is prop] = 8 wife or "m or si/]1 or o!r ne> relative1 to leave or s5d 8 c>d ) h] own4 ,:5 a woman calls ^u ano!r woman %e leaves h] husb&'s c>d4 ,if ! ho/ess is m>ri$1 a second c>d is left = ! ho/4 ,%e may leave ! c>ds ( a son1 a bro!r1 or o!r relative1 if su* responsibility re/s ^u h]4 ,?is =mality %\ld be obs]v$ :5 pay+ ! fir/ call ( ! season4 ,:ile e well-in=m$ woman %\ld "k t x is h] place to leave h] husb&'s c>ds = him1 x is a fact t _m wom51 o!rwise att5tive to social =ms1 habitually neglect ?is p>ticul> duty4 ,! result is t ! man :o has n "t to pay visits becomes a social non5tity1 & society1 9 "s circles1 is simply a _w ( wom54 ,:y does ! husb&1 ?us neglect$1 get out ( go+ to ! occasional p>ty :5ev] he c1 & :5 he does all[ himself to be dragg$ ?i!r1 :y does he sulk1 lean+ aga9/ a *illy mantel-piece1 ey+ 8 fragile c(fee cup ) disda91 & enact+ ! role ( m>tyr g5]ally1 until he c p]suade 8 wife to g home aga98 ,:y1 inde$2 b because he feels out ( place4 ,8 r>e & incid5tal appe>ance is a j\rney into a f> c\ntry1 ( :i* he has little k1 & 9 :i* he has no int]e/4 ,b :5 a man goes--ev] s seldom--:]e he kn[s t 8 c>d habitually goes1 he feels t he is on famili> gr\nd1 & he w g 9 p]son1 ( *oice1 (t5] ?an he o!rwise w\ld4 ,"s m51 unaccu/om$ to exact social obs]vances1 w\ld ridicule ! idea at fir/1 if _! wives %\ld ann\nce ! int5tion ( leav+ _! husb&'s c>ds = !m4 ,b1 h[ev] mu* a man might demur1 a lurk+ vanity w\ld develop into complac5t satisfaction1 z he became aw>e ( ! increas+ g5iality ( ! social atmosph]e ab\t him2 & ! pleas+ gl[ w\ld take ! ultimate =m ( gratitude to 8 wife4 ,t ! p]mission to leave c>ds by proxy is (t5 abus$ by selfi% & indol5t m5 is no d\bt true4 ,b ! social advantage :i* x gives to a l>ge class ( m5 :o are nei!r selfi% nor indol5t m ?an c\nt]balances any disadvantages1 & saves to society a solid elem5t t might be entirely giv5 ov] to bus9ess1 if x 7 n = judici\s fem99e co-op]ation 9 ! di/ribution ( visit+-c>ds4 ,solid m5 w\ld g into society f> m frequ5tly & ) great] alacrity if !y felt assur$ t ! way _h be5 smoo?ly pav$ ) _! own visit+-c>ds1 well laid 9 place by ! deft f+]s ( _! skillful wom5 folk1 :o h left no flaw 9 ! mosaic ( social proprieties4 ,,"s ,,fur!r ,,illu/rations ,,( ,,c>d ,,usage ,:5 a m>ri$1 or eld]ly woman tacitly invites a man to call on h] by tell+ him :at are h] at home days or h\rs1 x is obligatory ^u him to ackn[l$ge ! c\rtesy4 ,if unable to call p]sonally he %\ld expla9 t fact & express regret1 & %\ld be p>ticul> to s5d a c>d on h] next receiv+ day dur+ ! h\rs t %e has m5tion$4 ,x is a special c\rtesy to s5d also a c>d = h] husb&1 if he is a v5]able man1 or if1 by reason ( ill heal?1 he is usually at home4 ,a woman old]1 or busi]1 or occupy+ "s position ( ackn[l$g$ di/9ction1 may s5d h] c>d1 indicat+ h] receiv+ days & h\rs1 to a y\ng] or less occupi$ woman4 ,?is is accept$ z a call1 & an invitation to return ! same4 ,if ! recipi5t *ooses %e may respond 9 p]son4 ,if %e does n c>e to e/abli% a call+ acqua9tance %e may respond by s5d+ "o ( h] own c>ds on ! receiv+ day4 ,9 case opportunity occurs = explanation "s polite reason may be giv5 = n add+ to "o's visit+ li/2 b unless "o has ! tact to d ?is )\t snobbi%ness1 x 7 bett] to keep sil5ce4 ,c>ds ( introduction are simply visit+-c>ds ^u :i* ! own] writes1 above 8 own "n1 ,introduc+ ,mr4 ----4 ,! c>d is inclos$ 9 an unseal$ envelope1 address$ to ! p]son to :om ! introduction is to be made1 & ) ! words ,introduc+ ,mr4 ----1 writt5 9 ! l[] left corn]4 ,x is a delicate matt] to refuse a c>d or lett] ( introduction1 b x is a f> m delicate matt] to take ! lib]ty to give "o4 ,if "o is 9 d\bt ab\t ! read9ess ( ! ?ird p>ty to receive ! p]son introduc$ x is bett] to f9d "s polite excuse = decl9+ to be ! m$ium ( ! introduction4 ,=tunately1 if ! blund] is made ( introduc+ uncong5ial p !y c easily drift ap>t aga9 )\t rud5ess on ! "p ( ei!r4 ,:5 any "o is invit$ to a *ur* w$d+ & _c att5d x is prop] to s5d1 on ! day ( ! m>riage1 a c>d or c>ds to ^? :o issu$ ! invitations2 "o c>d1 if "o p>5t1 or a gu>dian1 invites2 if ! invitation is s5t 9 ! names ( bo? p>5ts1 a c>d = ea*1 inclos$ 9 an envelope & address$ to bo?4 ,if ! invit$ gue/ att5ds ! w$d+ he leaves or s5ds c>ds )9 a week1 simil>ly address$4 ,a p]sonal call is all[able if intimacy w>rants x4 ,^? fri5ds ( ! groom :o are n acqua9t$ ) ! bride's family %\ld m]ely s5d c>ds4 ,:5 a man wi%es to make ! acqua9tance ( ano!r man he may call & s5d 9 8 c>d4 ,?is may or may n be accompani$ ) "s explanatory message4 ,if ! man on :om ! call is made does n wi% to receive ! call] he w express "s polite reason = decl9+1 or sugge/ ano!r "t = receiv+ ! visitor4 ,usually a man w receive ano!r man :o makes polite ov]tures2 b if ! ho/ does n wi% to cont9ue ! acqua9tance he w n return ! call 9 p]son1 b simply s5d 8 c>d by po/4 ,?is di/ant rejo9d] practically ends ! brief acqua9tance )\t any disc\rte\s rebuff4 ,x is "o ( ! mi/akes ( ! vulg> to be rude & gruff 9 ord] to repel an undesir$ acqua9tance4 ,9 reality1 no?+ freezes out a bore m effectually ?an ! icy calm ( dignifi$ c\rtesy4 ,!re are exquisitely polite ways ( s5d+ e undesirable p]son to limbo4 ,! p]fect self-comm& ( ! well-br$ man enables him to d ?is to p]fection1 b )\t giv+ (f5se4 ,moreov]1 z mo/ p wor? seek+ are m5 & wom5 ( e>ne/ lives & cr[d$ occupations1 no "o ne$ feel p]sonally *agr9$ by ! failure to e/abli% a covet$ acqua9tance ) "s gift$ man or woman4 ,c>ds ( condol5ce are left z soon z possible aft] le>n+ ( ! affliction4 ,if 9 t[n1 c>ds are left 9 p]son or s5t by a mess5g] ) a message4 ,if out ( t[n a c>d is s5t by ! fir/ po/4 ,no?+ is writt5 ^u ^! c>ds4 ,a visit+ c>d1 ) ,congratulations writt5 ^u x1 is s5t to felicitate a fri5d ^u any happy ev5t 9 :i* fri5ds may sympa?ize4 ,su* c>ds are s5t by mess5g] or by po/4 ,if a c>d is left 9 p]son ) a k9d message1 no?+ is writt5 ^u ! c>d4 ,:5 a man calls & sees 8 ho/ess1 b n ! ho/1 he %\ld leave a c>d = ! latt]4 ,if ! ho/ess is n at home1 two c>ds %\ld be left4 ,:5 a man ent]ta9s =mally1 ea* man invit$1 :e!r he accepts or n1 %\ld ackn[l$ge ! c\rtesy )9 a week4 ,he may call 9 p]son1 or leave a c>d1 or s5d a c>d by mail1 or write a note ( ?anks1 :i*ev] he pref]s4 ,?is is "o ( ! important =malities betwe5 m51 & ! neglect ( x argues ei!r ignorance or insol5ce4 ,:5 a man calls ^u a woman :ile %e is ! gue/ ( a family ) :om he is n acqua9t$1 he inquires = bo? 8 fri5d & h] ho/ess1 &1 z he is a /rang] 9 ! h\se1 he s5ds up a c>d = ea* 7in/ead ( ann\nc+ himself v]bally1 z at ! h\se ( a fri5d74 ,if ! ho/ess receives him on ?is occasion1 b ext5ds no fur!r hospitality1 he has no claim ^u h] recognition beyond ! h\r4 ,if ! ho/ess subsequ5tly (f]s him any hospitality dur+ ! "t 8 fri5d is h] gue/ he mu/ call ^u h]2 b if he def]s ?is until aft] ! dep>ture ( ! gue/1 he mu/ leave a c>d = ! ho/ess )\t intrud+ a p]sonal call1 unless he has be5 di/9ctly invit$ to cont9ue ! acqua9tance4 ,if ! man :o pays ! call does n wi% to cont9ue ! acqua9tance ) 8 fri5d's ho/ess1 aft] %e has (f]$ him hospitality1 he mu/ at lea/ call & leave a c>d = h]1 ) a polite inquiry = h] heal?4 ,?is is obligatory2 b no?+ fur!r is requir$4 ,a visit+ c>d is employ$ 9 s5d+ in=mal invitations to a tea or aft]noon reception4 ,! c>e ( ! ho/ess is us$1 & 9 addition to ! "n ( ! regul> receiv+ day ! special date1 z ,janu>y #ai1 & "s o!r specific words1 z ,tea1 #d to #f1 are writt5 9 ! l[] left corn]4 7,9 ?is in=mal writt5 message numb]s are indicate by figures1 :]e =mal invitations require ! words to be writt5 9 full47 ,?is c>d is accept$ by ! recipi5ts z equival5t to a call paid by ! s5d]1 & !y respond 9 p]son at ! "t indicat$1 leav+ c>ds ) ! s]vant z !y ent]1 & also1 on _! dep>ture1 leav+ ! c>ds ( su* male memb]s ( _! respective families z h be5 invit$1 b are unable to att5d4 ,z few m5 c leave bus9ess at ?is h\r ^! occasions become prom95t illu/rations ( proxy c>d-leav+4 ,if any "o invit$ _c be pres5t 7& 9 case ( a man no female relative is !re au?oriz$ to repres5t him7 a c>d mu/ be s5t by po/ or mess5g] on ! receiv+ day4 ,aft] a *ange ( resid5ce1 or aft] a prolong$ abs5ce f home1 c>ds ( ! entire family are s5t to notify an acqua9tance ( _! re-e/abli%m5t & ( _! read9ess to resume ! social int]*ange4 ,x is cu/om>y = ! y\ng] society m5 to pay a r\nd ( calls aft] return+ f ! usual summ] out+1 or to leave c>ds 9 lieu ( a call4 ,:5 leav+ = a long abs5ce1 or :5 p>t+ f transi5t1 b agreeable acqua9tances1 z companion t\ri/s1 etc41 :5 "t does n admit ( f>ewell calls1 visit+-c>ds are s5t by po/ ) ,p4 p4 c4 7,p\r pr5dre conge--to take leave7 writt5 ^u !m4 ,?is is equival5t to say+1 ,if ev] we meet aga9 we w meet on ! foot+ ( fri5ds1 n /rang]s4 ,x is a pleasant way ( %[+ appreciation ( ! pleasure af=d$ by ano!r's society1 & ! =mality %\ld n be neglect$ by "o :o w\ld be e/eem$ ?\ghtfully polite & k9d4 ,only p :o cl+ to old-fa%ion$ cu/oms /ill fold ov] ! "r side ( a visit+-c>d to %[ t ! c>d 0 left 9 p]son1 & also fold ov] ! left side to %[ t ! call 0 int5d$ = all ! wom5 ( ! h\sehold4 ,?is cu/om is practically obsolete4 ,ano!r fa%ion t has _h its day 0 t ( leav+ a sep>ate c>d = ea* ( ! wom5 ( ! h\sehold4 ,n[1 "o c>d answ]s ! purpose1 ! inquiry accompany+ x indicates :e!r ! call 0 int5d$ = "o or = all ( ! family4 ,9 case a gue/ ( ! h\sehold is includ$ 9 ! call a sep>ate c>d is left = h]4 ,,c]emoni\s ,,c>ds ,,& ,,invitations4 ,,etiquette ,,( ,r,e,p,l,i,e,ss ,,! ,,high ,,tea1 ,,musicale1 ,,etc4 ,^! occasions are m =mal ?an ! ord9>y aft]noon tea4 ,special c>ds are engrav$1 & if any special ent]ta9m5t is provid$1 ! fact may be indicat$ by ! words1 ,music1 or ,miscellane\s ,program 7:5 read+s & music are int]sp]s$74 ,or1 ! ann\ncem5t may be omitt$1 & ! program furni% a pleasant surprise = ! gue/s4 ,b :5 ,danc+ is ! recreation provid$ =1 x mu/ appe> on ! c>d1 s t gue/s may prep>e = x4 ,! c>d = a musicale or simil> occasion1 is simply engrav$3 ,,mrs4 ,,john ,,liv+/one ,at ,home ,w$nesday1 ,octob] fif?1 f f\r to sev5 o'clock4 ,danc+4 #aai ,p>k ,ave4 ,,= ,a ,,p>ty ,,or ,,reception ,,giv5 ,,9 ,,honor ,,( ,,ano!r1 ! invitations may be engrav$ ) a blank space left = ! "n ( ! invit$ gue/2 or1 ! =m may be fill$ out1 & ! "n ( ! gue/ appe> on ! envelope only4 ,x may read3 ,,mr4 ,,& ,,mrs4 ,,dext] ,,holmes reque/ ! pleasure ( 4444444444444444444444444's company on ,tuesday ev5+ ,june six?1 at n9e o'clock1 to meet ,rev4 ,john ,d4 ,lor+4 ,r4,s4,v4,p4 #bi ,rice ,/4 or1 ! word+ may be reque/ ! pleasure ( y\r company1 etc4 ,! =m] has ! rhetorical advantage ( uni=mity1 ! ?ird p]son be+ us$ ?r\gh\t2 & x also indicates a p]sonal recognition ( ea* gue/2 b ! latt] =m pres5ts a neat] appe>ance4 ,z to ! use ( ,r4,s4,v4,p41 or any ( ! phrases n[ pref]r$ by _m1 z1 ,please reply2 ,! favor ( an answ] is reque/$1 etc41 ?is may be said3 "s au?orities claim t all invitations %\ld be answ]$2 & t !re=e ^! reque/s = a reply are a reflection on ! good mann]s ( ! p invit$4 ,b su* is n ! popul> und]/&+4 ,all invitations t are pla9ly limit$ to a c]ta9 numb] ( gue/s1 z d9n]s1 c>d p>ties1 & c]ta9 exclusive receptions1 %\ld be answ]$ at once1 9 ord] t vacancies may be fill$4 ,:e!r ! invitation is accompani$ ) ! reque/ = a reply or n1 all ?\ghtful p w recognize ! propriety4 ,b on _m occasions :]e numb]s are n necess>ily limit$1 only ! ho/ess c say :e!r ! reply is urg5t or n2 s9ce x is a "q ( h] p]sonal conv5i5ce1 ! limits ( h\se-room1 or "s o!r individual matt]4 ,z no "o class ( ent]ta9m5ts is giv5 always "u ! same conditions1 x is well to all[ ! ho/ess to *oose :e!r %e w add or omit ! reque/ = a reply to h] invitations4 ,mean:ile1 ! punctili\s may reply to e invitation ( a /rictly social "*1 & ev5 if ! ho/ or ho/ess did n expect x1 su* reply c give no (f5se2 :]eas1 ! neglect ( a necess>y reply might prove v awkw>d & annoy+4 ,a private ball is only a m elaborate =m ( a danc+ p>ty4 ,! invitations are phras$ 9 ! same language1 b ! h\r is usually n e>li] ?an #i4cj ,p4 ,m4 ,! same =m ( invitation c be adapt$ to almo/ any reception1 p>ty or o!r social ent]ta9m5t1 ) su* v>iations 9 ! phras+ z suit ! circum/ances4 ,x may be said t x is unnecess>y to give explicit directions ab\t invitations1 inasmu* z ! engrav] is ! "o ultimately responsible = ! accuracy ( ^! ?+s4 ,b on occasions :5 small numb]s are invit$--b undim9i%$ =mality is obs]v$--! =mal invitation is requisite1 yet ! engrav$ c>d is a ne$less exp5se4 ,9 su* cases "o may h c>ds writt5 9 due =m4 ,b1 = writt5 invitations ( ?is =mal "*1 x is imp]ative t ! pap] %all be ( sup]ior quality1 & ! p5man%ip neat1 & ?or\ghly /yli% 9 effect4 ,,c>ds ,,( ,,invitation ,,to ,a ,,w$d+ are issu$ 9 ! "n ( ! bride's p>5ts1 or1 if %e is an orphan1 by h] gu>dian1 or "s relative or fri5d :o gives h] ! w$d+4 ,all exp5ses are paid by ! bride's family4 ,x is n etiquette = ! groom to be> any ( ! exp5se1 except ! fee to ! cl]gy man2 nor to furni% any?+ = 8 own w$d+1 except ! r+ & ! b\quet = ! bride1 pres5ts = ! brides-maids & be/ man1 & "s little tok5 = ! u%]s4 ,! ho/ess 7:o invites7 reque/s ! groom to furni% h] ) two li/s ( names--"o li/ ( ^? ( 8 fri5ds :om he wi%es to be pres5t to witness ! c]emony1 & ano!r li/ ( ^? :om he w\ld l to see at ! reception also4 ,^!1 ) simil> li/s ( ! bride's fri5ds1 make up ! numb] ( gue/s to be invit$4 ,w$d+ invitations are usually s5t out two weeks be=e ! day fix$ = ! c]emony4 ,! invitation is engrav$ & pr9t$ ^u a note %eet1 9 h&some pla9 script1 ! l9es brok5 to give di/9ction to ! sev]al ideas1 & ! word+ made z t]se z possible4 ,! =mula is ne>ly unv>y+3 ,,mr4 ,,& ,,mrs4 ,,george ,,la?rop reque/ ! pleasure ( y\r company 7or ! honor ( y\r pres5ce7 at ! m>riage ( _! daught]1 ,,m>y ,,adelaide1 to ,,mr4 ,,william ,,h5ry ,,bi%op1 at ,/4 ,philip's ,*ur*1 ,on ,w$nesday ev5+1 ,octob] twelf?1 at sev5 o'clock4 ,if ! m>riage is to be solemniz$ at home ! date foll[s ! names 9 succession1 & ! place ( resid5ce is giv5 la/4 ,! invitation may v>y1 ! w$d+ reception ( _! daught]1 etc4 ,or1 accompany+ ! *ur* w$d+ invitation may be a squ>e c>d be>+ ! l9es3 ,reception f half-pa/ sev5 until n9e o'clock1 ) place ( resid5ce on ! l9e bel[4 ,also1 to avoid a cr[d at ! *ur*1 a small] c>d is sometimes s5t ) ! invitations be>+1 = example1 ! words3 ,please pres5t ?is c>d at ,/4 ,philip's ,*ur*1 ,w$nesday ev5+1 ,octob] twelf?1 at sev5 o'clock4 ,?is c>d ( admission is also giv5 to dep5d5ts--! dome/ics ( ! family or su* p]sons z may be entitl$ to ! k9d notice1 b :o are n1 /rictly speak+1 invit$ gue/s4 ,! numb] ( su* c>ds %\ld nev] be great] ?an ! com=table capacity ( ! *ur*1 le/ _! orig9al purpose be defeat$4 ,9 case ! c]emony is private ! imm$iate family & *os5 fri5ds are invit$ v]bally4 ,x is !n optional :e!r or n a =mal ann\ncem5t %all be made to a wid] circle ( fri5ds by s5d+ out engrav$ c>ds ! day aft] ! c]emony4 ,^! are1 l ! invitations1 pr9t$ on note %eets1 & are phras$ briefly1 z ,,mr4 ,,& ,,mrs4 ,,george ,,la?rop ann\nce ! m>riage ( _! daught]1 ,,m>y ,,adelaide1 to ,,mr4 ,,william ,,h5ry ,,bi%op1 ,w$nesday ev5+1 ,octob] twelf?1 ,/4 ,philip's ,*ur*4 ,at ,home c>ds sometimes accompany ?is ann\ncem5t1 or !y may be s5t out lat] by ! "y c\ple !mselves1 if a long w$d+ trip int]v5es4 ,! private w$d+ & aft] ann\ncem5t is (t5 ! mo/ suitable--9 fact1 ! only appropriate me?od to adopt :5 a bride is comp>atively alone 9 ! _w1 or has no ne> relatives to take *>ge ( w$d+ =malities4 ,9 su* a case ! ann\ncem5t is word$3 ,mr4 ,william ,h5ry ,bi%op & ,miss ,m>y ,adelaide ,la?rop1 m>ri$1 ,w$nesday1 ,octob] twelf?1 #adi ,will[ ,/4 ,if no o!r place is giv5 ?is is und]/ood to be ! place :]e to address c>ds ( congratulation4 ,if ! "y c\ple are to receive lat]1 9 a new home1 t address1 ) date ( ! at home1 is also giv51 ?us1 ,at home1 aft] ,novemb] fifte5?1 #aabi ,lake ,/4 ,if ! *ange ( resid5ce is to ano!r t[n1 ! "n ( ! t[n is also giv54 ,= ! prop] /yle ( display+ ! phrases ( an invitation or ann\ncem5t "o may apply to a fir/-class /ation]4 ,pla9 script & ! f9e/ :ite pap] are always correct4 ,any %[ ( ornam5tation is out ( ta/e4 ,:5 ! circle ( acqua9tances is v l>ge & invitations mu/ be limit$ to a c]ta9 numb]1 ! ann\ncem5t c>ds may be s5t to o!rs4 ,a w$d+ invitation1 unless x includes a w$d+ breakfa/1 limit$ 9 numb]1 requires no reply4 ,c>ds s5t aft]w>d are all t is necess>y4 ,^! c>ds1 & :atev] congratulations are s5t1 are address$ to ! ones 9 ^: "n ! invitation or ann\ncem5t 0 s5t out--usually ! p>5ts ( ! bride4 ,a congratulatory note to ! bride is always 9 ord] among intimate fri5ds1 b ?is be>s no relation to a response to ! invitation4 ,,w$d+ ,,anniv]s>y ,,invitations are simply1 ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,george ,la?rop1 at home1 etc41 ) date & resid5ce4 ,!y are pr9t$ on c>ds or note %eets1 pref]ably ! latt]1 & ! "* ( ! occasion is indicat$ by a monogram at ! top ( ! page1 9 ! c5tre1 flank$ by ! two annual dates1 z #ahcg monogram #ahhg4 ,if = a gold5 w$d+ ?is head+ is lett]$ 9 gold2 if = a silv] w$d+1 9 silv]1 ! invitation be+1 z usual1 pr9t$ 9 black ink4 ,x is good =m to engrave ,no pres5ts 9 ! l[] left corn]1 if su* is ! wi% ( ! bride & groom4 ,,d9n] ,,c>ds ,,( ,,invitation may h ?is =m3 ,,mr4 ,,& ,,mrs4 ,,george ,,la?rop reque/ ! pleasure ,( 444444444444444444444444444444444444 company at d9n] on ,?ursday1 4444444444444444 at sev5 o'clock4 #ie ,will[ ,/reet4 ,! above =m may be engrav$ = p]5nial use by a ho/ or ho/ess :o frequ5tly give d9n]s1 & always on ! same day ( ! week4 ,blanks are left to be fill$ 9 ) ! "n ( ! invit$ gue/ & ! exact date4 ,or = a s+le occasion ! =m may be )\t any blank spaces1 & ! phras+ read1 ,reque/ ! pleasure ( y\r company4 ,a d9n] giv5 9 honor ( "s di/+ui%$ gue/ requires an invitation c>d specially engrav$4 ,?is =m is mo/ def]5tial3 ,to meet ,,g5]al ,,la ,,fayette1 ,,mr4 ,,& ,,mrs4 ,,george ,,la?rop reque/ ! honor ( 444444444444444444444444 company at d9n] on ,w$nesday1 ,may t5?1 at eight o'clock4 #ie ,will[ ,/reet4 ,if ! honor$ gue/ is e/eem$ on ! score ( p]sonal fri5d%ip r ?an public di/9ction 8 "n w be giv5 la/1 in/ead ( fir/1 on ! c>d1 ! phras+ ( ! invitation rema9+ ! same4 ,invitations to d9n] %\ld be answ]$ at once1 & no "o %\ld accept if !re is ! lea/ d\bt ab\t be+ able to be pres5t4 ,only ! mo/ s]i\s det5tions sudd5ly aris+ w excuse a failure to keep a d9n] engagem5t once made4 ,if su* cont+5cy does occur at ! elev5? h\r an explanation & apology %\ld be s5t to ! ho/ or ho/ess )\t delay 9 ord] to give opportunity = secur+ ! f\rte5? man4 ,,= ,a ,,=mal ,,lun*eon ,,or ,,breakfa/ ! invitation c>ds are simil> 9 =m to d9n] c>ds4 ,b s9ce ! mann] ( s]v+1 ! numb]s invit$1 etc41 are n s def9itely fix$ x is prop] to add ,r4,s4,v4,p4 on c>ds t especially call = a reply 9 ! judgm5t ( ! ho/ess4 ,o!rwise _m p ) vague ideas ( ! in=mality ( ^! occasions might omit to s5d replies4 ,,! ,,conduct ,,( ,a ,,*ur* ,,w$d+ ,! sexton %\ld be duly in=m$ :at prep>ations to make at ! *ur*2 ! awn+ at ! entrance1 ! ribbon b>ri] across ! aisle1 ! floral decorations1 etc41 by :omev] arrang$ & execut$ are "u ! sup]vision ( ?is function>y1 :o is responsible = hav+ ev]y?+ 9 ord]4 ,x is no long] good =m = a bride to be late at h] own w$d+4 ,n[1 :5 ! invitation says sev5 o'clock x is expect$ t ! c]emony w beg9 at t h\r precisely1 accid5ts aside4 ,! organi/ is engag$ by "s "o int]e/$ 9 mak+ ! arrangem5ts1 & is suppos$ to be 9 8 place = a half-h\r or s be=e ! h\r ( ! c]emony2 & :ile ! gue/s are assembl+ he disc\rses music appropriate to ! occasion--a rambl+1 m$itative pot-p\rri ( sweet & pa!tic s5tim5tal songs be+ a popul> & effective *oice4 ,9 *ur*es hav+ a ve/$ *oir x is possible to secure v beautiful effects 9 ! musical adjuncts1 ! processional add+ greatly to ! grace & dignity ( ! c]emonial4 ,! sexton1 or 8 deputy1 /&s at ! door1 salv] 9 h&1 to receive ! admission c>ds z p ent] ! *ur*4 ,! invit$ gue/s are met at ! foot ( ! c5tre aisle by ! u%]s4 ,an u%] (f]s 8 arm to a lady & conducts h] to a seat1 ! fri5ds ( ! bride be+ seat$ at ! left & ! fri5ds ( ! groom at ! "r ( ! middle aisle4 ,:51 z (t5 happ5s1 ! groom is f a di/ance1 & few ( 8 f>-away acqua9tances c be pres5t1 ?is sep>ation ( gue/s is n obs]v$4 ,at ! appo9t$ h\r1 ! cl]gyman appe>s at ! alt> rail2 ! groom1 accompani$ by 8 be/ man1 em]ges f ! ve/ry1 & takes 8 place at ! "r1 await+ ! arrival ( ! bride4 ,at ?is in/ant1 ! organi/ /ops dream+1 wakes up1 & />ts boldly into ! w$d+ m>*1 z ! bridal p>ty move up ! aisle1 9 ! foll[+ ord]3 ,fir/1 ! u%]s1 9 pairs1 !n ! bridesmaids1 also 9 pairs4 ,sometimes a little maid ( honor1 c>ry+ fl[]s1 prec$es ! bride4 ,! bride1 lean+ on ! arm ( h] fa!r1 comes la/4 ,! u%]s & ! bridesmaids sep>ate z !y rea* ! alt>1 & g to ! "r & to ! left4 ,at ! alt> ! groom receives ! bride f h] fa!r's h&4 ,! latt] /eps back a few paces1 b rema9s ne> en\gh to give away ! bride4 ,:5 ?is po9t 9 ! c]emony has be5 pass$1 ! fa!r quietly jo9s ! "m 9 ! front pew4 ,if ! processional has be5 ! ,loh5gr9 m>*1 x is ?\ght by _m to be v effective = ! organi/1 all ?r\gh ! c]emony1 to cont9ue on ! swell organ a dreamy sotto voce improvisation1 9 ! c\rse ( :i* a v>i$ reit]ation ( ,fai?ful & true s]ves z an affect+ expression ( ! s5tim5t ( ! h\r4 ,! mo/ enjoyable te>s are %$ by ! emotional "u ?is inspiration4 ,b o!r p pref] ! solemn /illness1 brok5 only by ! voice ( ! prie/ & ! responses ( ! high contract+ p>ties4 ,x is a matt] ( ta/e & feel+2 & ^? int]e/$ are at lib]ty to indulge ei!r fancy4 ,! bride /&s at ! left ( ! groom dur+ ! c]emony2 & also takes 8 left arm at ! close4 ,:5 ! c]emony is conclud$1 ! (ficiat+ cl]gyman congratulates ! c\ple1 b does n kiss ! bride z =m]ly4 ,9 ! ,episcopal ,*ur*1 & any o!r *ur*es :]e x is ! duty ( ! contract+ p>ties to sign ! p>i% regi/]1 ! cl]gyman1 ! newly w$d$ pair1 & _! witnesses1 n[ retire to ! sacri/ry = ?is purpose4 ,on _! return to ! *ancel1 ! organ peals =? ! ,w$d+ ,m>*2 ! bride & groom lead ! bridal p>ty 9 return+ d[n ! aisle1 ! bridesmaids & u%]s foll[+ 9 due ord]1 & aft] !m ! ne>e/ relatives2 & all1 ent]+ _! c>riages1 are driv5 at once to ! home ( ! bride's p>5ts4 ,aft] a morn+1 or high noon w$d+1 a breakfa/ is usually s]v$4 ,if ! c]emony has be5 a nuptial mass1 9 ! ,ca?olic or ,high ,*ur* ritual1 ! bridal p>ty h--presumably--obs]v$ ! fa/1 be=e ! mass2 !re=e1 ! breakfa/ is really a breakfa/4 ,h[ev]1 ! t]m is popul>ly us$ by non-rituali/s1 :5 ! c]emony be>s no relation to ! mass2 & reg>dless ( ! fact t ! real breakfa/ has be5 tak5 at ! usual h\r4 ,a bride may we> full dress at any h\r1 day or ev5+2 b decollete dress is n good =m at a *ur* w$d+1 nor is x all[$ 9 ! ,ca?olic *ur*4 ,:ite is ! pref]r$ color = a "y bride4 ,a wid[-bride1 on ! contr>y1 %\ld *oose "s o!r color2 & %e we>s nei!r veil nor orange-blossoms4 ,details ( fa%ion v>y s con/antly t specific directions _c be giv5 ) any assumption ( f9al au?ority4 ,a fa%ionable modi/e %\ld be consult$ 9 ! em]g5cy4 ,! dress worn by a gue/ at a w$d+ may be z ri* z desir$1 b %\ld n h a bridal appe>ance4 ,sometimes a rec5t bride we>s h] own w$d+ g[n at a fri5d's w$d+2 b x is 9 bett] ta/e n to d s1 nor 9 any o!r way to invite comp>isons4 ,! bride %\ld be p]mitt$ to be ! conspicu\s figure at h] own w$d+1 & :ile h] fri5ds may pay h] ! complim5t ( we>+ h&some toilettes on t occasion1 /ill1 o!r wom5 %\ld dress j a little less elaborately1 r ?an commit ! solecism ( out-dress+ ! bride4 ,=tunately1 "o may %[ all delicate consid]ation 9 ?is matt]1 & yet be beautifully & becom+ly dress$4 ,,! ,,e?ics ,,( ,,hospitality ,hospitality %>es :at x has4 ,x does n attempt to give :at x has n4 ,! f9e/ hospitality is t :i* welcomes y to ! fireside & p]mits y to look ^u ! picture ( a home-life s little di/urb$ by y\r com+ t y are at once made to feel y\rself a "p ( ! little symphony--! r>e bit ( color j ne$$ to complete ! h>monic comb9ation4 ,) ?is flatt]+ fact impress$ ^u y\r gl[+ memory y w h>dly be able to recall ! mat]ial adjuncts ( ! occasion4 ,x is a sign ( a gross nature to measure hospitality by ! loaves & fi%es1 =gett+ ! miracle t goes ) !m4 ,& x is equally a mi/ake = a ho/ to be afraid to (f] humble ent]ta9m5t :5 ri*] (f]s are beyond 8 means4 ,to a ref9$ p]ception ! life is m ?an ! meat1 & ! p]sonality ( ! ho/1 n ! condition ( 8 l>d]1 decides :e!r or n x is an honor to be 8 gue/4 ,delightful ?\gh x be to be able to af=d "o's gue/ a r>e & beautiful ent]ta9m5t1 "o mu/ dismiss ! idea t a graceful & acceptable hospitality dep5ds on mat]ial ?+s4 ,sir ,launfal1 %>+ 8 cru/ ) ! begg> at ! gate1 0 /ill ,sir ,launfal4 ,! impov]i%$ ho/ess may preside at h] frugal bo>d ) ! _s & ! mann] ( a que51 :]eas ! co>se-fibr$ vulg>ian va9ly heaps 8 platt]s ) *oice/ game & r>e/ fruit1 ! :ile he s]ves ! banquet l ! *url t he is4 ,:atev] y\r ent]ta9m5t1 ri* or poor1 rememb]1 fir/ ( all1 to give y\rself to y\r gue/2 !n1 if he is appreciative1 he w n criticise y\r simple d9n]1 nor grumble at ! flavor ( y\r w9e4 ,"o ( ! wits ( ! day has gravely report$ t at a banquet 9 ! ,a!ns ( ,am]ica1 ! m5u consi/$ ( two bak$ beans & read+s f ,em]son4 ,despite its grotesque exagg]ation1 ! mot conta9s ! k]nel ( a dignifi$ tru?3 t mat]ial ?+s are ( second>y importance on all social occasions wor?y ( ! "n4 ,! mo/ exp5sive ent]ta9m5t giv5 by any "o %\ld be m]ely an incid5tal illu/ration ( 8 already recogniz$ f9ancial means4 ,x %\ld nev] be s beyond 8 usual ability z to ar\se among 8 neighbors ! wond]1 h[ he c\ld af=d x8 ,:5 p :o are kn[n to h only a mod]ate income give spreads disproportionate to _! daily mode ( liv+1 ! ?\ghtful obs]v] in/9ctively que/ions _! ta/e & good s5se4 ,usually su* o/5tati\s display br+s m or less d]ision on ! ones :o are fooli% en\gh to sp5d m money to make _! neighbors />e = a day ?an !y use to make !mselves com=table = a ye>4 ,no matt] h[ elaborate ! ent]ta9m5t ! gue/s %\ld n be all[$ to suspect t _! ho/ has exhau/$ 8 res\rces1 or t he might n be able to d ?is same ?+ at any "t t he *ose4 ,z already sugge/$1 ! "* ( ! ent]ta9m5t 9 a private h\se %\ld nev] be su* z to involve a total dep>ture f ! habitual cu/oms ( ! h\sehold4 ,x is grant$ t provision mu/ be made on a gr&] scale = l>g] numb]s2 ! quantity ( ?+s w necess>ily be augm5t$1 & m]e bulk we>s a c]ta9 air ( ! impos+1 & :5 to ?is is add$ ! vital elem5t--! magnetism ( a brilliant company--! p>ticipant w seem to brea! a r>ifi$ atmosph]e1 & to an ext5t to be exalt$ above ! level ( ev]yday life4 ,yet t level %\ld n be lo/ to sight nor cease to be ! basis ( measurem5t4 ,! quality ( elegant s]v+ & mann]ly eat+ %\ld be j :at is e day obs]v$ at ! family d9n] ( ! same h\sehold4 ,! gue/ %\ld get a correct idea ( ! home atmosph]e ( ! h\se1 ev5 ?\gh x be slightly congeal$ by ! =mality & res]ve :i* ! pres5ce ( /rang]s naturally inspires4 ,:5 p assume to ent]ta9 socially !y %\ld n give a false %[+ ( !mselves or ( _! means4 ,! pr\de/ _s ackn[l$ges ! limitations ( pov]ty ) dignifi$ tru?fulness2 x is ! moral c[>d :o seeks to hide ^! limitations by a great] display ?an 8 circum/ances w>rant4 ,& he reaps z he s[s4 ,8 ent]ta9m5ts fill an idle h\r = ! class ( visitors :o gravitate ma9ly to ! supp]-room1 :ile ! giv] ( ! fea/1 "u ! t5sion ( ?is social ef=t1 suff]s a we>9ess ( ! _s z well z ( ! fle%1 & gives a sigh ( relief :5 ! door closes ^u ! la/ gue/1 & ! pitiful f>ce is decl>$ ov]4 ,we wond] ,:y d !y ?us sp5d _! /r5g? = t :i* pr(ite? n8 ,surely1 few ?+s 9 ! c\rse ( a missp5t life are less pr(itable ?an su* ov]-/ra9$ ef=ts at %[y ent]ta9m5t4 ,! banquet hall des]t$ pres5ts on ! foll[+ day a grim rem9d] ( ! petty economies t = weeks h5ce mu/ secretly be contriv$ 9 ord] to re/ore ! balance ( an ov]drawn bank acc\nt4 ,! folly ( liv+ beyond "o's means may h ?is ext5uat+ feature1 t x is (t5 an error due to g5]\s1 ?\gh indiscreet impulse1 or to inexp]i5ce2 b ! folly ( sp5d+ money lavi%ly on a few o/5tati\s spreads t are beyond "o's means has no r$eem+ po9ts4 ,! deception seldom long deceives4 ,x is a social blund]1 ! effect ( :i* is to depreciate r ?an to enhance ! social importance ( ! family ?us ent]ta9+4 ,x w be und]/ood t ?is ref]s to cases :5 ! motive ( extravagance is to gratify vanity4 ,x does n mean to imply t ! ,*ri/mas d9n]1 or ! bir?day p>ty1 or ! w$d+ anniv]s>y may n be a "t :5 all ! en]gies ( a poor & usually frugal h\sehold may be conc5trat$ to prep>e = "o occasion ( fea/+ & rejoic+4 ,! ,crat*etts may h _! roa/ goose2 ev5 ! ,micawb]s may be indulg$ 9 _! occasional banquet4 ,& ! c>efully plann$ bir?day p>ty may be all ! m gratefully appreciat$ by ! honor$ "o :5 x is kn[n t e *oice provision = ! occasion repres5ts "s ?\ghtful contriv+ & "s self-sacrifice prompt$ by affection4 ,su* occasions are r$-lett] days 9 ! homes ( p ( limit$ means2 & pa?os is nev] m delicately sugge/$ ?an :5 ! poor man =gets 8 pov]ty 9 ! weal? ( a home-ga!r+ & a fea/ ( remembrance4 ,let n a /rang] int]m$dle ) _! joy4 ,9 ! two cases ! f9ancial conditions may seem to be p>allel1 b 9 ess5tial _s !re is no resemblance4 ,:at is done f s5tim5t & affection is above comm]cial measurem5t4 ,:at is done = ! sake ( o/5tation is1 by its own act1 made a legitimate object ( popul> criticism4 ,ano!r po9t ( good ta/e 9 ent]ta9+ is t "o :o is weal?i] ?an o!rs ( 8 social circle %\ld n conspicu\sly out%9e 8 neighbors by giv+ !m a k9d & degree ( ent]ta9m5t :i* w make _! return ( civilities seem poor & mean by comp>ison4 ,unless ! ri* man is s greatly beyond o!rs 9 ! scale ( weal? t comp>isons cease to be odi\s1 x is m consid]ate = him to keep )9 ! degree ( exp5se & display possible to ! av]age ( 8 associates4 ,!re is /ill ano!r reason :y ! v ri* %\ld be *>y ( giv+ magnific5t ent]ta9m5ts4 ,! dazzl$ community1 gaz+ spell-b\nd ^u ! spectacle ( a fl[]-deck$ mansion1 brilliant ) color$ lights & e*o+ to bewild]+ /ra9s ( music1 is apt to =get1 9 ?is aggregation ( ! en]gies ( flori/1 cat]]1 & b&-ma/]1 ! "o man :o is suppos$ to be1 b is n1 ! au?or ( ?is occasion4 ,george 7descant+ on ! glories ( ! cru% ( ! season7--,! music--! *ampagne--!---- ,montague--,ah6 yes2 & h[ did 'm9e ho/' be> himself8 ,george--,! ho/6 7ruefully74 ,b',jove6 ,i =got to hunt him up6 ,un=tunately1 m9e ho/ _h all[$ 8 surr\nd+s to belittle himself4 ,_m a brilliant social ev5t might prop]ly be *ronicl$ "u ! head-l9e3 ,total ,eclipse ( ! ,ho/6 s insignificant does ! man become :5 he c>ries 8 /&>ds ( social ent]ta9+ 9 8 pocket-book in/ead ( 9 8 bra9s4 ,h[ev]1 "o ne$ n be v ri* 9 ord] to make ?is same mi/ake4 ,x is made e "t t social life ceases to be social1 & becomes m]ely a conte/ ( rival displays4 ,?is folly is obs]v$ 9 small villages q z (t5 z 9 ! metropolis4 ,9 contra/1 h[ refre%+ x is to cross ! ?re%old ( a ref9$ & cultivat$ home1 & f9d await+ u a cordial welcome & a g5u9e hospitality1 s true to its au?or's p]sonality & environm5t t :e!r wat] or w9e be (f]$ we "k n1 grateful t our ho/ gives u 8 be/1 :atev] x is1 &1 be/ ( all1 gives himself4 ,,aft]noon ,,receptions ,,& ,,teas ,fa%ions 9 ent]ta9+ h *ang$ )9 ! memory ( ^? n[ liv+4 ,once1 l>ge p>ties 7 giv51 hundr$s ( invitations 7 issu$1 a h\se 0 cr[d$ f v]&a to attic1 & ! occasion 0 "o ( ! few notable social ev5ts ( ! season4 ,!n came ! fa%ion--p>tly = exclusiv5ess1 p>tly = novelty1 l>gely = conv5i5ce--( giv+ dur+ ! season sev]al small p>ties or receptions1 :i* 9 ! aggregate might include all ( "o's visit+ li/4 ,! disadvantage ( ?is plan1 z an exclusive me?od ( solv+ ! problem ( social ent]ta9+1 0 t slights 7 liable to occur1 & 7 sure to be bitt]ly felt & res5t$4 ,yet1 :at 0 a ho/ess to d8 ,to g back to ! old-"t cr[d$ p>ty1 sup]add+ ! increas$ luxury ( mod]n ent]ta9+1 w\ld be to re-e/abli% an inconv5i5t & exp5sive fa%ion4 ,b "s way mu/ be devis$ to br+ "o's fri5ds toge!r1 9 l>g] numb]s1 & ) m prompt & direct expression ( hospitality & good fell[%ip ?an c\ld be convey$ by ! sl[ & /ately process ( a s]ies ( d9n]s4 ,necessity is ! "m ( inv5tion4 ,someone1 probably hav+ reflect$ ^u ! easy social "* ( ! ,engli% five o'clock tea1 solv$ ! problem = ! ,am]ican ho/ess by in/itut+ ! aft]noon reception1 :i*1 some:]e betwe5 ! h\rs ( f\r & six1 summons a ho/ ( fri5ds to cross "o's ?re%old & meet in=mally1 *att+ = a :ile ov] a sociable cup ( tea1 ea* gr\p giv+ place to o!rs1 none cr[d+1 all at ease1 e "o ! recipi5t ( a graci\s welcome f ! ho/ess1 :o by ! hospitality ?us (f]$ has tacitly plac$ ea* gue/ on h] visit+ li/ = ! season4 ,! aft]noon reception is mu* ! same affair1 :e!r x be a tea m]ely1 or a musicale1 or a lit]>y occasion4 ,if m]ely a reception1 conv]sation & ! desultory *at ( society1 ! drift+ ab\t & ! greet+ ( fri5ds1 & incid5tally ! cup ( tea & its da9ty accessories1 fill a half-h\r or s v pleasantly2 & ?\gh inconsequ5t s f> z any plan or motive is conc]n$1 su* meet+ & m+l+ may h all ! desir$ effect z a promot] ( social pleasure & h>mony4 ,:5 a musicale is giv5 at ^! aft]noon h\rs1 usually x is 9 honor ( "s brilliant amateur1 a piani/ or s+]1 or1 if ! program is miscellane\s1 a gift$ elocutioni/4 ,or1 x is an occasion :5 "s lion ( ! pr(essional /age has be5 captur$1 ei!r socially or pr(essionally1 & ! ho/ess gives to h] less =tunate fri5ds an opportunity to see & he> at close range ! celebrity usually visible only ?r\gh op]a-glasses & beyond ! foot-lights4 ,or1 "s lady ( well-kn[n musical ta/e may be ! patron ( "s newly-arriv$ pr(essor ( music2 & %e invites h] musical fri5ds to meet him1 ) ! b5evol5t purpose to give him a pr(itable introduction to a promis+ class ( patrons4 ,:5 "u any ( ^! or simil> conditions a =mal program is arrang$1 ! h\r is fix$1 & is /at$ on ! invitation c>d2 z ,music at #d4 ,! gue/s %\ld be prompt at ! h\r1 s t no int]ruption or confusion %all occur4 ,:5 ! reception is m]ely social1 gue/s come & leave at any "t )9 ! h\rs specifi$ on ! invitation c>d2 z1 ,tea1 #d to #f4 ,:5 admitt$ to ! h\se ea* "o h&s a c>d to ! s]vant 9 wait+4 ,! gue/ repairs to ! dress+-room to lay aside out] wraps1 & att5d to any detail ( ! toilet :i* w9d or accid5t may h dis>rang$4 ,^u ent]+ ! p>lor ea* gue/ is greet$ by ! ho/ess1 :o /&s ne> ! door1 surr\nd$ by h] aids4 ,if h] husb&'s "n appe>s on ! c>d ( invitation1 he1 also1 is 9 ! receiv+ gr\p1 contribut+1 9 s f> z a man humbly may1 to ! success ( ! occasion4 ,! aids1 besides assi/+ 9 receiv+ ! gue/s1 are att5tive to ent]ta9+2 & !y see t no %y p]son is ov]look$ 9 ! invitation to p>take ( refre%m5ts4 ,! tea is s]v$ 9 ! same room :5 ! gue/s are few1 & 9 ano!r room ( ! suite if ! reception is l>ge4 ,usually a s+le table is set1 ) c(fee or *ocolate at "o end1 & tea at ! o!r1 s]v$ by "y ladies1 fri5ds ( ! ho/ess4 ,to be invit$ to preside at ! c(fee urn1 or to manipulate ! sw++ tea-kettle1 is acc\nt$ a high complim5t4 ,besides ! tea1 ! refre%m5ts1 :i* are s]v$ f ! table1 may be v ?9 slices ( bread & butt]1 or waf]s1 or simil> trifles2 b if ! occasion approa*es ! nature ( a =mal reception1 a m elaborate prep>ation is made2 b\illon1 oy/]s1 salads1 ice-cream & cakes1 delicate rolls & bon-bons may be (f]$4 ,! gradations by :i* ! frugal tea passes into ! sup]abundant supp] are n easily classifi$4 ,ea* ho/ess w judge h[ mu* or h[ little prom95ce to give to ^! provisions = ! inn] man4 ,usually1 h[ev]1 v simple refre%m5ts1 da9tily s]v$1 are all t is desirable1 z ! gue/s g home to _! d9n]s4 ,if a gue/ is a comp>ative /rang] to o!rs pres5t1 %e is at lib]ty to address any "o 9 a *atty1 agreeable way1 )\t introduction4 ,also1 if any "o obs]ves ano!r gue/ :o seems to be alone & neglect$1 x is a graceful & k9d ov]ture to op5 a pleasant conv]sation4 ,"o %\ld n l+] too long at an aft]noon tea4 ,?ree-qu>t]s ( an h\r is a happy m$ium4 ,alli$ to ! aft]noon tea are v>i\s phases ( in=mal daytime ent]ta9+4 ,= example1 !re is ! %[] = a bride-elect 7l951 cul9>y1 or :at y w74 ,a fri5d ( ! bride-to-be invites a cot]ie ( girl fri5ds to meet ! gue/ ( honor1 giv+ ea* girl "t to provide "s beautiful or useful gift1 ! pres5tations to be made ) amus+ c]emonies4 ,! ?imble bee1 a favorite div]sion ( ! quiet matronly set1 ea* "o br++ h] own bit ( ne$lework to :ile away an h\r or s 9 pleasant conv]sation4 ,"o ( ! numb] may read al\d1 ) pauses = comm5t at w4 ,! ?imble bee is a mod]n v]sion ( ! good old-fa%ion$ sp5d ! aft]noon & take tea4 ,bo? ! %[] & ! ?imble bee may be giv5 9 ! =5oon1 if pref]r$4 ,,! ,,d9n] ,,s]vice ,,requisites ,,= ,,! ,,d9+-,,table ,table-,l951 etc4--,table-clo?s ( :ite damask1 d\ble or s+le1 z f9e z ! own]'s purse admits1 are us$ = ! d9n]-table1 ) l>ge squ>e :ite napk9s to correspond4 ,! table %\ld fir/ be cov]$ ) a mat ( d\ble-fac$ cotton flannel wide en\gh to fall six in*es bel[ ! edge ( ! table1 all ar\nd4 ,?is "u mat greatly improves ! appe>ance ( ! table-clo?1 :i* c be laid mu* m smoo?ly ov] ?is s(t f\ndation4 ,besides1 ! mat protects ! table f too close contact ) hot di%es4 ,small table mats = ! purpose ( protect+ ! clo? are n fa%ionable at pres5t1 ?\gh _m c>eful h\sekeep]s reta9 !m r ?an risk injury to f9e table l954 ,c>v+-clo?s are us$ :5 c>v+ is done at ! table1 b are n ne$$ :5 d9n] is s]v$ a la ,russe4 ,napk9 r+s are disc>d$ by _m :o hold t a napk9 %\ld be us$ b once1 & mu/ be re-laundri$ be=e reappe>+ on ! table4 ,practically1 su* a fa/idi\s use ( table l95 w\ld exhau/ mo/ l95 supplies1 & ov]cr[d ! laundry4 ,! neat use ( a napk9 r5d]s ?is extreme nicety sup]flu\s z a rule ( home d9+1 ,c>e %\ld c]ta9ly be tak5 to remove all soil$ table l954 ,no?+ is m disgu/+ ?an a dirty napk91 b ! sn[y l95 t comes spotless ?r\gh "o us+ may1 ) propriety1 be reta9$ 9 ! r+ to be us$ sev]al times4 ,?is1 ( c\rse1 ref]s to e-day d9+ at home4 ,on =mal occasions no napk9 r+s appe> on ! table2 ! napk9s are always fre%1 & us$ = t "t only4 ,at ! close ( ! d9n] !y are left c>elessly on ! table2 n roll$ or fold$ 9 any ord]ly %ape4 ,small fr+$ napk9s ( diff]5t colors are us$ ) a dess]t ( fruits4 ,fancy doylies ( f9e l95 embroid]$ ) silk are sometimes br\ght 9 ) ! f+]-b[ls2 b ^! are n = utility1 ! d9n] napk9 do+ s]vice1 :ile ! embroid]$ fancy adds a da9ty bit ( effect to ! table decoration4 ,*9a1 ,glassw>e1 ,cutl]y1 ,silv]w>e1 etc4--,*9aw>e = ! d9n] s]vice %\ld be ( good quality4 ,fa%ions 9 *9a decoration are n fix$2 ! fancy ( ! h\r is con/antly *ang+1 b a mat*$ set is em95tly prop] = ! d9n] table1 leav+ ! h>lequ9 *9a = lun*eons & teas4 ,9 ! latt] /yle ! aim is to h no two pieces alike 9 decoration1 or at lea/1 to p]mit an unlimit$ v>iety2 a fa%ion t is v conv5i5t :5 l>ge quantities ( di%es are liable to be ne$$4 ,b = a d9n] s]v$ 9 ord]ly sequ5ce1 ! ord]ly correspond5ce ( a h&some set seems m 9 keep+4 ,b ev5 ) ?is1 ! h>lequ9 idea may come 9 ) ! dess]t2 fruit plates1 ice-cream sets1 aft]-d9n] c(fees1 etc41 may display any numb] ( fantasies 9 %ape & color+4 ,arti/ic glassw>e is a v h&some feature ( table furni%+4 ,c>afes & goblets = wat] are always ne$$ at d9n]2 w9e glasses1 possibly2 & ! s]v+ ( fruits & bon-bons gives opportunity to display ! mo/ brilliant cut-glass1 or its comp>atively inexp5sive sub/itutes1 :i* are sc>cely less pretty 9 effect4 ,f9e glass is inf9itely m elegant ?an common plat$-w>e1 & ?\gh m liable to breakage is less tr\ble to keep 9 ord]4 ,! be/ d9n]-knife is ( /eel1 ( good quality1 ) h&le ( ivory1 ebony1 or silv]4 ,silv]-plat$ knives are mu* us$2 !y d n discolor s readily z /eel1 & are easily kept poli%$4 ,!y answ] ! purpose = lun*eon1 b !y r>ely h edge en\gh to be really s]viceable at d9n] or breakfa/4 ,_m p :o own solid silv]w>e /ore x away 9 bank vaults & use its fac simile 9 quadruple plate1 & ?us escape ! con/ant dread ( a possible burgl>4 ,= ! s5se ( security t x gives1 "o may value ! f9e/ quality ( plat$ w>e1 b x %\ld be inconspicu\s 9 /yle & n too pr(use 9 quantity1 s9ce its utility1 r ?an its comm]cial value1 %\ld be sugge/$4 ,any o/5tation 9 ! use ( plat$ w>e is vulg>4 ,b "o may take a pride & satisfaction 9 ! possession ( solid silv]4 ,e ambiti\s h\sekeep] w devise ways ( secur+1 little by little1 if n all at once1 a neat collection ( solid spoons & =ks4 ,! simple/ table takes on dignity :5 grac$ ) ^! /]l+ accompanim5ts4 ,! fancy = collect+ s\v5ir spoons1 "o at a "t1 sugge/s a way to secure a valuable lot ( spoons )\t feel+ ! burd5 ( ! exp5se4 ,yet1 on ! o!r h&1 ^! spoons are mu* m exp5sive ?an equally good pla9 silv]1 ! extra price be+ paid = ! idea2 b ! exp5diture is wor? :ile to ^? :o value hi/orical associations4 ,"o may f9d 9 ! silv]-basket sali5t rem9d]s ( all important epo*s 9 our national life1 a sort ( prim] ( ,unit$ ,/ates hi/ory1 to say no?+ ( ! innum]able s\v5irs ( ,europe4 ,its subtle te/imony to ! intellig5t ta/e ( its own] gives ! s\v5ir collection its *ief t\* ( elegance4 ,! t[]+ ca/or1 once ! c5tral glory ( ! d9n] table1 is out ( /yle4 ,! condim5ts are left on ! sidebo>d1 & h&$ f !re 9 case any di% requires !m1 ! supposition be+ t1 z a rule1 ! sev]al di%es are prop]ly season$ be=e !y are s]v$4 ,individual salt-cell>s are plac$ on ! table1 & may be accompani$ ) salt spoons2 if ^! are omitt$1 x is und]/ood t ! salt-cell> is empti$ & refill$ ea* "t t x is us$4 ,on ! family d9n]-table ! condim5t l9e is n s sev]ely drawn2 v9eg> 9 cut-glass cruets1 mu/>d 9 ,satsuma pots1 & individual pepp]s--9 silv]1 *9a1 or glass1 & ( qua9t designs--are conv5i5t & all[able4 ,a table cov]$ ) :ite damask1 ov]laid ) sp>kl+ *9a & cut-glass1 & reflect+ ! :ite light ( poli%$ silv]1 is a pretty b lifeless sight4 ,add "o magic t\*--! c5tre-piece ( fl[]s--& ! cry/alliz$ beauty wakes to organic life4 ,9 arrang+ ! mod]n d9n]-table1 :5 ! s]vice is to be a la ,russe1 floral decorations are almo/ indisp5sable4 ,)\t some?+ attractive = ! eye to re/ ^u1 ! des]t /ret* ( l95 looks l ! :ite gho/ ( fam9e mock+ ! fea/4 ,! %ape ( ! table1 ! available space1 & ! nature ( ! occasion decide ! quantity & di/ribution ( ! fl[]s4 ,x is a matt] 9 :i* wide latitude is giv5 to individual ta/e & +5uity1 orig9al designs & odd conceits be+ always 9 ord]1 subject only to ! law ( appropriat5ess4 ,= a squ>e or extra wide table a l>ge c5tre-piece1 ei!r r\nd or oblong1 is usually *os51 ) endless v>ieties 9 its compon5t arrangem5t4 ,x may be l[ & flat1 l a floral mat1 9 ! middle ( ! table1 or x may be a l(ty ep]gne1 or an int]-lac+ ( delicate v9e-wrea!d ar*es1 or a s+le basket ( fea!ry maid5hair f]n--9 fact1 any?+ t is pretty & :i* ! inspiration ( ! mom5t may sugge/4 ,9 e>ly autumn1 9 c\ntry homes or 9 suburban villas1 no?+ is m effective ?an masses ( gold5-rod & purple a/]s1 ga!r$ by ! ho/ess or h] gue/s dur+ _! aft]noon drive1 & all ! m satisfactory because ( ! pleasure tak5 9 _! impromptu arrangem5t4 ,wild fl[]s %\ld be neatly trimm$ & symmetrically gr\p$ to avoid a ragg$ or we$y appe>ance4 ,=tunately1 ev5 q elaborate floral decorations ne$ n be exp5sive4 ,nature has be/[$ "s ( h] *oice/ t\*es ^u ! lilies ( ! field1 & an arti/ic eye disc]ns _! possibilities4 ,at ! same "t1 art 9 floriculture has produc$ m>vels1 & ^? :o c af=d x may revel 9 mammo? roses & r>e or*ids1 lilies ( ! valley 9 ,novemb]1 & r$ clov]s 9 ,janu>y1 if x please !m to pay ! flori/'s bill = ! same4 ,= n>r[ ext5sion tables1 sl5d] vases rang$ at int]vals may be ! mo/ conv5i5t disposition ( ! fl[]s2 or1 if ! ends ( ! table are n occupi$1 a broad1 l[ basket may /& at ea* end1 ) a tall1 sl5d] vase 9 ! middle ( ! table4 ,on *oice occasions a h&some c5tre-piece may be1 = example1 a l>ge b[l ( ,la ,france roses1 ) small bundles ( ! same 7gr\ps ( ?ree are pretty71 ti$ ) ribbon ( ! same hue1 laid by ea* plate4 ,any o!r s+le fl[] may be dispos$ simil>ly1 or v>iety may rule1 & no two floral favors be alike1 9 :i* case x is a delicate complim5t to give to ea* gue/ a fl[] kn[n to be a favorite1 or "o t seems especially appropriate--a lily to ,lilian1 a daisy to ,m>gu]ite1 etc4 ,^! little m>ks ( ?\ghtfulness nev] fail to be appreciat$1 & add mu* to ! grace ( ent]ta9+4 ,an elaborate c5tre-piece may /& ^u a ri* velvet mat1 or on a flat mirror provid$ = ! purpose4 ,! latt] is a clev] idea = a c5tre-piece ( pond-lilies or o!r aquatic plants1 simulat+ a m9iature lake1 its edges fr+$ ) moss or f]ns4 ,,! ,,=mal ,,arrangem5t ,,( ,,! ,,d9n]-,,table ,! mat is fir/ adju/$ ^u ! table1 & ! table-clo? smoo?ly & ev5ly laid ov] x4 ,! clo? %\ld fall ab\t half-way to ! floor all ar\nd4 ,! floral accessories are !n put 9 place2 & also ! fruits & bon-bons1 :i* may be comm+l$ ) ! fl[]s 9 work+ out a decorative design1 or !y may be plac$1 9 ornam5tal di%es1 at ! f\r corn]s ( a wide table1 to balance ! fl[]s 9 ! c5tre2 or1 !y may be arrang$ along ! middle ( a long table4 ,= fruit1 silv]-gilt baskets1 or ep]gnes ( glass are especially pretty4 ,! fruit may lat] con/itute a "p ( ! dess]t1 or may be m]ely ornam5tal 9 its (fice4 ,c>afes conta9+ ic$ wat] are plac$ "h & !re on ! table1 at conv5i5t po9ts4 ,! next /ep is ! lay+ ( ! cov]s2 a cov] signify+ ! place prep>$ = "o p]son4 ,= a d9n] 9 c\rses a cov] consi/s ( a small plate 7on :i* to set ! oy/] plate71 two l>ge knives1 ?ree l>ge =ks 7= ! roa/1 ! game1 & entrees71 "o small knife & =k 7= ! fi%71 "o tablespoon 7= ! s\p71 "o oy/]-=k4 ,! knives & =ks are laid at ! "r & left ( ! plate1 ! oy/]-=k & ! spoon be+ conv5i5tly to h&4 ,a glass goblet = wat] is set at ! "r1 ab\t eight in*es f ! edge ( ! table2 if w9e is to be s]v$ ! requisite glasses are gr\p$ ab\t ! wat] goblet4 ,! napk9 is fold$ squ>e1 ) "o fold turn$ back to inclose a ?ick piece ( bread2 or1 ! napk9 may be fold$ into a triangle t w /& upright1 hold+ ! bread )9 its folds4 ,?is is ! only way 9 :i* bread is put on ! d9n]-table1 ?\gh a plate ( bread is on ! sidebo>d to be h&$ to ^? :o require a second piece4 ,x is entirely prop] to ask = x1 :5 desir$4 ,butt] is n usually plac$ on ! d9n]-table1 b is h&$ f ! sidebo>d if ! m5u includes di%es t require x2 z1 sweet corn1 sweet potatoes1 etc4 ,small butt]-plates are includ$ 9 ! cov] 9 su* cases4 ,! oy/]s1 :i* =m ! initial c\rse1 are usually on ! table be=e ! gue/s take _! places4 ,a majolica plate1 conta9+ f\r or six ( ! bivalves ) a bit ( lemon 9 ! mid/1 is plac$ at ea* cov]2 or1 oy/] cocktails may be s]v$4 ,! s\p ture5 & plates are br\ght 9 to ! side table4 ,all is n[ 9 read9ess4 ,,! ,,arrival ,,( ,,gue/s--,,mean:ile ,:ile ^! prep>ations h be5 go+ on 9 ! d9+-room1 ! gue/s h be5 assembl+ 9 ! draw+-room4 ,x is prop] to arrive f five to fifte5 m9utes be=e ! h\r m5tion$ 9 ! invitation1 all[+ "t to pay respects to ! ho/ & ho/ess1 )\t ha/e ( mann]1 be=e ! d9n] is ann\nc$4 ,a g5tleman we>s a dress suit at d9n]4 ,a lady we>s a h&some g[n1 d9n] dress be+ full dress2 diff]+1 h[ev]1 f ! ev5+ p>ty or reception g[n 9 ! k9d ( fabrics us$4 ,! mo/ filmy gauzes are suitable = a ball co/ume2 :ile d9n] dress--= any b v "y ladies--is usually ( m sub/antial mat]ials--ri* silk or velvet s(t5$ 9 effect ) *oice lace1 or made brilliant ) jet trimm+s4 ,:5 ! d9n] p>ty is /rictly =mal1 & ! company ev5ly mat*$ 9 pairs1 ! foll[+ ord] is obs]v$3 ,ea* g5tleman f9ds 9 ! hall1 z he ent]s1 a c>d be>+ 8 "n & ! "n ( ! lady :om he is to take out2 also1 a small b\tonni]e1 :i* he p9s on 8 coat4 ,if ! lady is a /rang]1 he asks to be pres5t$ to h]1 & e/abli%es an easy conv]sation be=e mov+ t[>d ! d9+-room4 ,,! ,,ann\ncem5t ,,( ,,d9n] ,:5 d9n] is ready ! fact is made kn[n to ! ho/ess by ! butl]1 or maid-s]vant1 :o comes to ! door & quietly says ,d9n] is s]v$4 ,a bell is nev] rung = d9n]1 nor = any o!r =mal meal4 ,! ho/ leads ! way1 tak+ out ! lady :o is giv5 ! place ( fir/ consid]ation2 ! mo/ di/+ui%$ woman1 ! greate/ /rang]1 ! mo/ eld]ly--:atev] ! basis ( di/9ction4 ,o!r c\ples foll[ 9 ! ord] assign$ to !m1 ea* g5tleman seat+ ! lady on 8 "r4 ,! ho/ess comes la/1 ) ! mo/ di/+ui%$ male gue/4 ,if !re is a footman1 or m ?an "o1 ! *airs are deftly plac$ = ea* gue/2 b if only a maid is 9 wait+1 ea* g5tleman arranges 8 own & 8 p>tn]'s *airs z quietly z possible4 ,z soon z ! company are seat$1 ea* "o removes ! bread2 & ! napk91 p>tially unfold$1 is laid across ! lap4 ,x is n tuck$ 9 at ! neck or ! ve/ front1 or o!rwise dispos$ z a fe$+-bib4 ,x is a t[el1 = wip+ ! lips & f+]s 9 em]g5cies1 b %\ld be us$ unobtrusively--n fl\ri%$ l a flag ( truce4 ,,! ,,s]v+ ,,( ,,! ,,d9n] ,! s]vant is ready to h& f ! side-bo>d any condim5ts desir$ = ! oy/]s1 :i* are promptly dispos$ (4 ,x may be rem>k$ at ! outset1 t ev]y?+ at table is h&$ at ! left1 except w9e1 :i* is (f]$ at ! "r4 ,ladies are s]v$ fir/4 ,aft] ! oy/]-plates are remov$1 ! s\p is s]v$ f ! side table--a half ladleful to ea* plate be+ consid]$ ! correct quantity4 ,! rule reg>d+ s\p is d\ble1 y mu/1 & y mu/ n4 ,y mu/ accept x 7:e!r y eat x or m]ely pret5d to71 b y mu/ n ask = a second help+1 s9ce to d s w\ld prolong a c\rse t is m]ely an appetiz] prep>atory to ! sub/antials4 ,! s\p-plates are remov$1 & ! fi% imm$iately appe>s1 s]v$ on plates ) ma%$ potatoes or salad1 or sometimes bo?1 9 :i* case a sep>ate di% is provid$ = ! salad4 ,! entrees foll[ ! fi%1 hot plates be+ provid$1 z requir$4 ,di%es conta9+ ! entrees %\ld h a l>ge spoon & =k laid ^u !m1 & %\ld be held l[1 s t ! gue/ may help himself easily4 ,aga9 ! di%es are remov$4 ,"h we may pause to rem>k t ! prompt & ord]ly removal ( ! di%es aft] ea* successive c\rse is a sali5t feature ( skillful wait+4 ,! accompli%$ wait] nev] betrays ha/e or n]v\sness1 b 8 e movem5t tells1 & t1 too1 )\t clatt]1 or ! dropp+ ( small articles1 or ! dripp+ ( sauces4 ,! plates1 etc41 vani% f ! table--:i!r1 we obs]ve n4 ,! wait] 9 ! d9+-room mu/ h ! co-op]ation ( ! s]vant beh9d ! sc5es1 to receive & convey ! relays ( di%es to ! kit*54 ,h[ev] x is manag$1 & x mu/ be manag$1 ! ne>] ! op]ation c appe> to be a magic trans=mation1 ! bett]4 ,to return2 ! roa/ is ! next c\rse4 ,! c>v+ is done at ! side table4 ,gue/s are consult$ z to _! pref]5ce = r>e or well-done2 & ! meat1 9 ?9 slices1 is s]v$ on hot plates1 ) vegetables at discretion on ! same plate1 sep>ate vegetable di%es--except = salads--n be+ us$ on private d9n] tables4 ,c]ta9 vegetables1 z sweet corn on ! cob1 may be reg>d$ z a c\rse by !mselves1 be+ too clumsy to be dispos$ ( conv5i5tly on a plate ) o!r ?+s4 ,! game c\rse is next 9 ord] 7if x is includ$1 z x g5]ally is 9 an elaborate d9n]74 ,cel]y is an appropriate accompanim5t ( ! game c\rse4 ,! salad is sometimes s]v$ ) ! game2 o!rwise x foll[s z a c\rse by itself4 ,! salad m>ks ! end ( ! heavy c\rses4 ,! crumb tray is br\ght1 & ! table-clo? is cle>$ ( all /ray fragm5ts4 ,a roll$ napk9 makes a quiet bru% = ?is purpose1 especially on a f9ely poli%$ damask clo?4 ,! dess]t is n[ 9 ord]4 ,f+]-b[ls & doylies are br\ght 9 on ! dess]t-plates4 ,ea* p]son at once removes ! b[l & doyley to make ready = :atev] is to be put on ! plate4 ,ices1 sweets 7pa/ry & confections71 *eese1 foll[ 9 c\rse2 &1 f9ally1 ! fruits & bon-bons4 ,/rong c(fee is s]v$ la/ ( all1 9 small cups4 ,fa%ion decrees cafe noir1 & few lov]s ( cream c>e to rebel on s =mal an occasion z a d9n]2 b :5 ! =mality is n too rigid1 ! little cream jug may be smuggl$ 9 = ^? :o pref] cafe au lait4 ,wat] is ! /aple dr9k ( ! ,am]ican d9n]-table4 ,a palatable table wat]1 l ,apoll9>is1 well ic$1 is an elegant sub/itute = w9e :5 habit or consci5ce =bids ! latt]4 ,:5 w9e is s]v$ ) ! diff]5t c\rses at d9n]1 ! appropriate use is z foll[s3 ) s\p1 %]ry2 ) ! fi%1 *ablis1 hock1 or saut]ne2 ) ! roa/1 cl>et & *ampagne2 aft] ! game c\rse1 ,madeira & port2 ) ! dess]t1 %]ry1 cl>et1 or ,burgundy4 ,aft] d9n] are s]v$ *ampagne & o!r sp>kl+ w9es1 j (f ! ice1 & s]v$ )\t decant+1 a napk9 be+ wrapp$ ar\nd ! wet bottle4 ,:ile w9e may be acc\nt$ indisp5sable by _m1 ! gr[+ s5tim5t 9 favor ( its total bani%m5t f ! d9n]-table has ?is effect on ! etiquette ( ! case1 t ! neglect to provide w9e = ev5 a v =mal d9n] is n n[ ! brea* ( good =m :i* x w\ld h be5 held to be "s ye>s ago4 ,su* neglect has be5 sanction$ by ! example ( ackn[l$g$ social lead]s2 & :5 x is ! expon5t ( a temp]ance pr9ciple x has ! respect ( e d9]-out1 :atev] 8 private *oice 9 ! matt]4 ,no g5tleman w grumble at ! abs5ce ( w9e at 8 ho/'s table4 ,x is good =m = a ho/ to s]ve or n s]ve w9e1 z he *ooses2 x is v bad =m = 8 gue/ to comm5t on 8 *oice4 ,:5 any "o :o is consci5ti\sly oppos$ to w9e-dr9k+1 or = any reason ab/a9s1 is pres5t at a d9n] :]e w9e is s]v$1 he decl9es x by simply lay+ 8 h& on ! rim ( 8 glass z ! butl] approa*es4 ,no words are necess>y4 ,apoll9>is w take ! place ( /rong] wat]s1 & no emb>rassm5t foll[s to ei!r ho/ or gue/4 ,z to ! moral involv$1 a sil5t example may be q z influ5tial z an aggressive exhibition ( "o's pr9ciples4 ,que/ions ( mann]s & morals are con/antly elb[+ "o ano!r1 & x is a nice po9t to decide :5 & h[ f> duty requires "o to defy conv5tionality4 ,x is safe to say t only 9 extreme cases is ?is ev] necess>y1 or ev5 p]missible4 ,! ho/ess :o simply does n (f] w9e to any gue/ "u any circum/ances1 is us+ h] influ5ce effectively & c\rte\sly1 especially :5 %e supplies ! defici5cy ) delici\s c(fee & cocoa1 fragrant tea1 &1 be/ & r>e/ ( all1 cry/al cle>1 sp>kl+ cold wat]4 ,by po9t+ out a m excell5t way1 %e is add+ to h] fai? virtue4 ,,miscellane\s ,,po9ts ,extra knives & =ks are br\ght 9 ) any c\rse t requires !m4 ,! prelim9>y lay-out is usually meant to provide all t ! s*eme ( ! d9n] w call =2 b "o mu/ h a goodly supply ( silv] & cutl]y to avoid altoge!r ! necessity = hav+ "s ( x wa%$ & return$ to ! table dur+ ! progress ( ! d9n]4 ,x is v desirable to be amply equipp$1 z x facilitates ! prompt & ord]ly s]v+ ( ! c\rses4 ,fruit-knives are requir$1 & ice-spoons1 orange-spoons1 & o!r unique conceits 9 silv] ut5sils may be provid$ ) ! dess]t1 if "o happ5s to own !m2 o!rwise1 pla9 =ks & spoons d duty z requir$4 ,! =k be>s ! *ief burd5 ( responsibility1 be+ us$ = ev]y?+ solid or semi-solid1 leav+ ! spoon to ! limit$ realm ( s(t cu/>ds & fruits t are s juicy z to elude ! t9es ( ! =k4 ,! knife is held 9 h& z little z possible1 be+ us$ only :5 cutt+ is actually necess>y1 ! =k easily sep>at+ mo/ vegetables1 etc4 ,9 ! fi% c\rse1 h[ev]1 ! knife is us$ to assi/ 9 remov+ ! tr\blesome small bones4 ,9 hold+ ! knife ! f+]s %\ld n t\* ! blade1 except t ! =ef+] re/s ^u ! upp] edge n f> bel[ ! %ank :5 ! cutt+ requires "s firmness ( pressure4 ,! d9n] knife %\ld be %>p en\gh to p]=m its (fice )\t too mu* muscul> ef=t1 or ! possible accid5t ( a duck's w+ fly+ unexpect$ly f cov] "u ! ill-direct$ /ress ( a despair+ c>v]'s h&4 ,i h se5 ! compon5t p>ts ( a fricasse$ *ick5 leave ! table1 n unt\*$--oh6 no2 e "o _h be5 saw+ at x = a half-h\r--b uneat5 x c]ta9ly 01 = obvi\s reasons4 ,! cutl]y 0 pretty1 b practically unequal to ev5 spr+ *ick54 ,! =k is held ) ! t9es curv+ d[nw>d1 t position giv+ great] security to ! morsel1 & is rais$ lat]ally1 ! po9ts be+ turn$1 z x rea*es ! m\?1 j en\gh to deposit ! morsel betwe5 ! slightly-p>t$ lips4 ,dur+ ?is easy movem5t ! elb[ sc>cely moves f its position at ! side1 a fact gratefully appreciat$ by "o's next neighbor4 ,:at is m awkw>d ?an ! arm project$1 hold+ ! =k po9t+ backw>d at a "r angle to ! lips1 ! m\? op5+ wide l an automatic railway gate to an approa*+ locomotive--! labor$ & o/5tati\s way 9 :i* food is sometimes transport$ to its de/9ation8 ,nor1 once 9 ! m\?1 is x lo/ to sight =ev]4 ,o!r p1 seat$ opposite1 are compell$ to witness x 9 successive /ages ( ! gr9d+ process1 z exhibit$ by ! con/ant op5+ & %utt+ ( ! m\? dur+ ma/ication1 or laugh+ & talk+ ) ! m\? full--faults ( he$less p ( en]getic b n ref9$ mann]s4 ,liquids are sipp$ f ! side ( ! spoon1 )\t noise or suction4 ,9 s]v+ vegetables ! tablespoon is ins]t$ lat]ally1 n po9t fir/4 ,cel]y is held 9 ! f+]s1 asp>agus also1 unless ! /alks are too t5d]4 ,gre5 corn may be eat5 f ! cob1 a good set ( natural tee? be+ ! prime requisite4 ,x may be a p]fectly graceful p]=mance if da9tily manag$4 ,! managem5t ( fruits 9 ! dess]t is ano!r te/ ( da9ty skill4 ,oranges may be eat5 9 diff]5t ways4 ,v juicy fruit may be cut 9 halves across ! sections & scoop$ out ) a spoon4 ,! dri] se$less oranges are bett] peel$ & sep>at$4 ,) a fruit knife1 remove ! t\gh sk9 ( ea* peg1 leav+ en\gh dry fib] to hold x by1 9 convey+ x to ! m\?4 ,practice enables "o easily to make way ) an orange4 ,bananas are cut 9 two1 ! sk9 remov$2 ! fruit is held 9 ! f+]s1 or--pref]ably--eat5 ) a =k4 ,juicy pe>s & pea*es may be manag$ 9 ! same way1 at discretion1 ! rule be+ t ! f+]s %\ld t\* z little z possible fruits t are decid$ly mu%y4 ,! f+]-b[l /&s ready to repair all damages ( ! nature sugge/$4 ,! f+]s are dipp$ 9 ! wat] & g5tly r9s$1 & !n pass$ lightly ov] ! lips1 & bo? m\? & f+]s are wip$ ^u ! napk94 ,at a signal f ! ho/ess1 ! ladies rise & return to ! draw+-room4 ,! g5tlem5 foll[ imm$iately1 or rema9 a %ort "t = ano!r glass ( w9e1 :5 su* is ! provision ( ! ho/4 ,,d9n]-,,table ,,talk ,! conv]sation at ! d9n]-table %\ld be g5]al1 unless ! company is l>ge1 & ! table too long to admit ( x4 ,b 9 any case1 ea* "o is responsible fir/ ( all = keep+ up a pleasant *at ) 8 or h] p>tn]1 & n all[+ t "o to be neglect$ :ile att5tion is rivet$ on "s aggressively brilliant talk] at ! o!r end ( ! table4 ,no matt] h[ un9t]e/+ "o's p>tn] may be1 "o mu/ be ?\ghtful & ent]ta9+2 & su* k9d att5tion may w9 ! life-long gratitude ( a timid debutante1 or ! equally unsophi/icat$ c\ntry c\s94 ,d9n]-table talk %\ld be affable4 ,! ho/ & ho/ess mu/ be al]t to turn ! conv]sation f *annels t ?reat5 to lead to antagonisms ( op9ion2 & ea* gue/ %\ld feel t x is m important j n[ to make o!r p happy ?an to gratify 8 impulse to floor !m on ! t>iff "q4 ,9 %ort1 at d9n]1 z "u mo/ social conditions1 ! wat*word ev] 9 m9d %\ld be1 ,n to myself alone4 ,,in=mal ,,d9n]s ,! in=mal d9n]1 daily s]v$ 9 ?\s&s ( ref9$ ,am]ican homes1 is a mu* less pret5ti\s affair ?an ! "n d9n] te*nically implies4 ,9 mo/ cases ! s]vice is b p>tially a la ,russe1 mo/ c\rses1 & all ! entrees1 be+ set on ! table1 ! s]v+ & help+ be+ done by "s memb] ( ! family2 ! pres5ce ( a waitress be+ sometimes disp5s$ ) except at transition po9ts2 z1 :5 ! table is cle>$ be=e ! dess]t4 ,?is =mality is ! mo/ decid$ d9n] feature ( ! meal1 :i* ?r\gh\t its progress has be5 conduct$ m l a lun*eon4 ,yet1 9 all ess5tial po9ts ( mann]l9ess1 ! family d9n] is gov]n$ by ! same rules t control ! =mal banquet4 ,x is p]haps ne$less to rem>k t ! d9] a la ,russe 9 its p]fection _c be c>ri$ out )\t a numb] ( compet5t s]vants4 ,^! may be hir$ :5 "s special occasion w>rants extra prep>ations = due =mality4 ,b = cu/om>y ent]ta9+1 ^? :o live quietly1 ) possibly b "o dome/ic to assi/ ) ! d9n]1 w %[ good s5se 9 n attempt+ any?+ m impos+ ?an !y are able to compass successfully4 ,! family d9n] has a dignity ( its own :5 9 keep+ ) all ! conditions2 & ?\gh its m5u may be simple1 its s]vice unpret5ti\s1 x may be ! graci\s expon5t ( a hospitality fit = a k+4 ,at ! in=mal d9n] x is cu/om>y to seat ! gue/s 9 ! ord] 9 :i* !y ent] ! d9+-room1 )\t assign+ any place ( di/9ction2 all ! places at table be+ held ( equal honor--com=t & conv5i5ce be+ ! ?+s *iefly consid]$4 ,,lun*eons ,! mo/ ela/ic ^w 9 ! :ole vocabul>y ( ent]ta9+ is ! t]m lun*eon4 ,x is appli$ to a mid-day meal occurr+ any "t betwe5 #aa ,a4 ,m4 & #c ,p4 ,m41 & may mean any?+1 f a brilliant a la ,russe banquet1 to ! ha/ily ga!r$ toge!r fragm5ts left f ye/]day's d9n]4 ,x may describe an h\r ( absolute leisure1 & ! mo/ delightful conv]sational int]*ange1 or x may signify ! five m9utes' grab f ! side-bo>d betwe5 ! games ( a closely-conte/$ amateur t5nis t\rnam5t4 ,9 g5]al1 we may say t ! mo/ =mal ( lun*eons1 resembl+ ! d9n] 9 ! ma9 features ( its s]v+1 has ^! po9ts ( di/9ction2 ! numb] ( gue/s is irregul>1 usually unc]ta91 !y g to ! table s+ly2 !y come dress$ 9 any way t ! h\r ( ! day1 or _! rec5t occupations w>rant--m5 dropp+ 9 dress$ = bus9ess or sport+1 & ladies 9 prom5ade co/umes1 ) bonnets or hats2 ! h\r is n rigidly fix$1--lun*eon1 be+ l>gely ( cold di%es1 is n spoil$ by a half-h\r's t>d9ess--a late com] is greet$ z cordially z ! fir/ arrival2 & ! m ! m]ri] seems to be ! motto ( ! ho/ess :o keeps op5 h\se at lun*eon "t4 ,! =mal lun*eons = :i* engrav$ invitations are issu$1 are usually ladies' lun*eons2 & ! =mality ( ! s]v+ is equall$ by ! elegance ( ! toilets4 ,m5 h little leisure = day-"t ent]ta9m5ts1 except dur+ ! brief out+ at "s summ] resort1 :]e ! easy-go+ lun* is ! rul+ fa%ion4 ,! m5u ( ! cold lun*eon may pres5t great v>iety1 & provide = _m gue/s ) little tr\ble4 ,= a small]1 or m def9ite1 numb] a hot lun*eon may be prep>$--a t5d] /eak ) ma%$ potatoes & asp>agus1 or some?+ equally simple--& a dess]t ( cakes1 ice-cream1 & fruits2 9 all respects a little in=mal d9n]4 ,! l>ge buffet lun*eon1 l ! f\r o'clock tea1 gives opportunity = display+ all ! pretty *9a t "o owns4 ,fl[]s & fruits may decorate ! table or tables1 & ! mo/ arti/ic effects may be secur$ by a little att5tion to bl5d+ & gr\p+4 ,a ho/ess :o kn[s h[ c make h] rooms look l a fe/al b[] = ^! occasions )\t mu* money outlay2 & if %e also is clev] 9 ! comp\nd+ ( made di%es & salads1 %e c give lun*eons t are rememb]$ z ! epitome ( good /yle1 albeit ! bills = ! same 7 surpris+ly small4 ,su* a gift$ woman enjoys a s5se ( exultation t is unkn[n to h] ri*] si/]1 :o m]ely fills out a *eque = ! co/ & leaves all else to ! cat]]1 z "o mu/1 :5 ! lun*eon is giv5 at a club or tea room4 ,9 g5]al1 ! buffet lun*eon is mu* ! same on all occasions1 :5 ent]ta9+ l>ge companies at home4 ,! diff]5ce is n s mu* 9 ! way ( s]v+1 z 9 ! k9d ( refre%m5ts pr(f]$4 ,! tea may be a light affair1 if y w2 m]ely a bit & a sip = good fell[%ip4 ,b ! lun*eon is "o ( ! solid meals ( ! day1 requir+ some?+ sub/antial4 ,su* su/a9+ ?+s z *ick5 salad1 appetiz+ s&wi*es1 b\illon 7hot or jelli$71 cold slic$ ham1 ) reli%es1 z cel]y1 olives1 seasonable fruits1 etc41 satisfy ! normal hung] at noontime2 & delici\s cakes & ices ) c(fee make a fe/al f9ale4 ,almo/ any attractive lun*eon di% may be includ$1 pref]ably ?+s t are n hurt by /&+2 z ! lun*eon s]vice = a l>ge p>ty fills an h\r or two4 ,= ?is reason1 c(fee is ! mo/ manageable bev]age to s]ve4 ,! refre%m5ts are arrang$ on ! d9+-table4 ,a f9e table-clo? may be us$2 or h&some doylies if ! table itself is ( h&some f9i%4 ,! salad b[l is set on "o side1 ! platt]s ( s&wi*es1 etc41 on ! o!r2 ) ! c(fee urn at "o end1 ! ices at ! o!r1 if !re is room2 o!rwise1 ! cake & ices are s]v$ f a side table4 ,ano!r side table is desirable1 to hold ! /acks ( di%es & napk9s4 ,z ! ho/ess mu/ give h] entire att5tion to receiv+ h] gue/s1 %e intru/s ! ov]sight ( ! d9+-room to sev]al matrons1 :o are aid$ by a bevy ( ! y\ng] girls 7! "y m5 also1 at an ev5+ p>ty74 ,at ! prop] "t ^! "y p pass ! napk9s & plates 7usually ) ! salad already s]v$7 to ! gue/s scatt]$ ar\nd ! rooms4 ,o!r ?+s are promptly br\ght1 ! c(fee be+ s]v$ imm$iately aft]1 by ano!r set ( help]s4 ,s9ce all _c be seat$1 small tables plac$ "h & !re 9 ! suite ( rooms w give ! /&+ ones a *ance to set a c(fee cup d[n n[ & !n4 ,c&y 9 t9y reception /icks may be pass$ ) ! cake2 or bonbon di%es may be set 9 unexpect$ places ab\t ! rooms1 :]e any "o :o discov]s !m may nibble at w4 ,! family waitress1 ) extra help if ne$$1 %\ld be 9 att5dance ne> ! d9+-room exit1 to receive ! us$ di%es & remove !m at once f ! sc5e4 ,?is is a nice po9t2 = a conge/ion ( di%es 9 ! d9+-room spoils ! effect ( an o!rwise well-manag$ s]vice4 ,! maid w also keep ! /ack ( plates1 etc41 repl5i%$2 & %e w c>ry back & =? f ! pantry ! salad b[l & platt]s = repl5i%+4 ,cutl]y is limit$ to a =k = ! salad1 a spoon = ! c(fee1 & a =k or spoon = ! ice cream4 ,! ices may be 9 fancy individual %apes1 if "o *ooses to take t mu* tr\ble2 b ! brick1 br\ght 9 ready slic$ = s]v+1 is always suitable1 & easi] to manage4 ,mu* ( ?is is s g5]ally und]/ood t fur!r details seem sup]flu\s4 ,! lea/ exp]i5c$ ho/ess ne$ n be ov]anxi\s ab\t small po9ts1 if ! g5]al ord] is obs]v$2 = lun*eon gue/s are a g5ial cr[d1 & nobody notices little mi%aps4 ,i am assum+ t y\r gue/s are all v nice p1 9 sympa?y ) y1 & aid+ y to ! ext5t ( _! ability to make ?+s pleasant4 ,^? :o h ?is s9c]e disposition ne$ no in/ruction 9 behavior4 ,ea* "o's conduct w be guid$ by h] own in/9ctive s5se ( propriety4 ,"o :o is habitually polite is n likely to make any blund]s at a lun*eon1 s9ce !re are no rigid conv5tionalities to be infr+$4 ,if ! lun*eon h\r is mu* pa/ noon1 ! gue/s %\ld be c>eful n to rema9 too long aft]1 z !y might ?us be deta9+ ! ho/ess f lat] aft]noon engagem5ts4 ,,supp]s ,a supp] is a late ev5+ meal1 & may be an ent]ta9m5t by itself1 or be s]v$ 9 connection ) "s social ev5t4 ,a supp] is und]/ood to consi/ prevail+ly ( hot di%es1 :i* di/+ui%es ! supp] f ! collation--:i* might be s]v$ on simil> occasions--& :i* is ma9ly ( cold di%es4 ,! di/9ction is n absolute1 h[ev]4 ,a =mal supp]1 or banquet1 is s]v$ a la ,russe1 & resembles ! d9n] 9 its g5]al conduct2 b in/ead ( ! heavy roa/ & vegetables1 ! game is ! conspicu\s c\rse1 & v>i\s prep>ations ( oy/]s1 lob/]1 t]rap91 etc41 cr[d ! m5u c>d1 ) salads ( all k9ds4 ,n9e o'clock is a fa%ionable h\r = ! sit-d[n supp]4 ,! supp] s]v$ at a dance or a reception is tim$ to suit ! lead+ features ( ! ev5+4 ,! m5u = ^! cru% supp]s cov]s ! gr\nd ( ! hot supp] & ! cold collation comb9$1 & !re are few ?+s )9 ! range ( da9ty cook]y t are n p]missible4 ,! mo/ social & enjoyable supp]s--) ! doctor's p]mission--are ^? t are s]v$ an home aft] ! ho/ess & h] gue/s h return$ f ! !atre or op]a1 lecture or conc]t4 ,t9y biscuit1 s&wi*es1 fri$ oy/]s1 *ick5 salad1 & gold5 c(fee1 ) ice-cream & "s sup]ior cake1 s]v$ l a lun*eon1 make a supp] easily arrang$1 & "o :i* w9ds up a pleasant ev5+ 9 a v satisfactory way4 ,,breakfa/s ,a =mal breakfa/ has little di/9ctive "*4 ,x diff]s v slightly f an e>ly lun*eon1 except t ! vi&s are m di/9ctly breakfa/ di%es2 z1 toa/1 hot muff9s1 omelettes & o!r prep>ations ( eggs1 delicate f>9ace\s foods1 cafe au lait1 etc4 ,if x is ! v]itable break+ ( ! fa/ ! gue/s mu/ be v late ris]s inde$1 z #aa o'clock1 or ev5 #ab1 noon1 is a fa%ionable h\r = ?is s-call$ breakfa/1 :i* is a phase ( social ent]ta9+ res]v$ = ! leisure class1 or only at odd int]vals possible to p ( active pursuits4 ,! morn+ h\rs are preci\s to ! hurri$ man ( bus9ess1 & ! c>e-environ$ h\sekeep]2 & promptness & dispat* is ! motto ( ! breakfa/ table 9 mo/ h\ses4 ,! real breakfa/ ( ev]yday life is ! meal :]e we lea/ expect to meet gue/s--unless x be "s "o :o is /ay+ at ! h\se4 ,x is a r>e ?+ = a fri5d to drop 9 to breakfa/1 & to invite him to d s is p]haps ! r>e/ expression ( hospitality1 & w probably rema9 s1 :ile we rema9 a nation ( bra9 & h& work]s4 ,dur+ ! summ] vacation1 :5 we pause = a brea?+ spell1 no m *>m+ hospitality c be (f]$ ?an a da9ty breakfa/1 especially 9 ! c\ntry4 ,x may be ! prelim9>y to an all-day h\se p>ty1 or a picnic excursion2 or ! breakfa/ may be ! goal ( an e>ly morn+ drive by c>riage or motor1 & ! h\r may be e>ly or late1 j z y please2 = is n vacation a p]iod ( emancipation f ! tyranny ( ! clock8 ,b let n ! h\r be too e>ly1 = tir$ p are heavy sleep]s2 yet n too late ei!r1 le/ ! heat ( ! sun may h become too sugge/ive ( ! approa*+ noon-tide2 late en\gh = we>y eyelids to unclose will+ly1 e>ly en\gh = ! fre% dewy odor /ill to cl+ to ! v9es on ! por*4 ,! conv5tional breakfa/ 9 t[n is giv5 v seldom z comp>$ ) d9n]s & lun*eons4 ,x is peculi>ly a holiday hospitality1 res]v$ until ! m5 are at leisure2 = breakfa/ )\t ! man ( ! h\se w\ld be ,hamlet ) ! pr9ce left out4 ,!re is ano!r significant di/9ction3 ! gue/s are *os5 f ! inn] circle4 ,:51 on ,*ri/mas morn+1 ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,a4 ent]ta9 ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,b4 & ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,c4 at breakfa/1 we inf] at once _! intimate fri5d%ip & cong5ial companion%ip4 ,"o may lun* imp]sonally ) comp>ative /rang]s2 "o may d9e =mally t\*+ elb[s ) "o's de>e/ foe b "o does n ( *oice breakfa/ ) any "o b a fri5d1 or a fri5d ( a fri5d--graci\sly accept$ on tru/4 ,breakfa/ is ! mo/ intimate break+ ( bread2 n ev5 ! fe/ive elaboration c make ! fri5dly breakfa/ seem l any?+ b play+ at =mality4 ,! s]vice is ess5tially ! same z x usually is 9 t h\sehold1 except t ! *ildr5 are n at ! table4 ,! m homelike x is1 ! bett]2 = home atmosph]e is reveal$ z at no o!r meal1 & on no o!r occasion c a visitor be made to feel s entirely "o ( ! family4 ,! gue/s rema9 b a %ort "t aft] a breakfa/1 *att+ 9 a leisurely way1 b leav+ r promptly4 ,! problem ( ! family breakfa/ is complicat$ by ! mod]n /ress ( bus9ess life4 ,9 suburban t[ns ! typical commut] mu/ flee away ) little c]emony2 = ! #g3jh w n wait1 & ! #g3aj is a way tra94 ,9 mo/ families breakfa/ is on ! ,european plan1 s to speak4 ,= ?is v reason1 p]haps1 ! occasional holiday breakfa/ is ! m attractive4 ,) no tra9 to cat*1 no boat to make1 no (fice h\rs to keep1 no demon ( driv+ "w to la% "o to ! treadmill1 h[ delightful to be able to breakfa/ ) ! s]5ity ( ! g5ial ,autocrat himself2 & h[ v odd x seems to f9d oneself sociably dispos$ at ?is unwont$ h\r6 ,may x n convey ! g5tle admonition t we might be m social e day1 if we only ?\ght s8 ,psy*ologically1 ! breakfa/ is peculi>4 ,x is ! fir/ comm+l+ ( ! day2 & :e!r x be ! late holiday fea/1 or ! usual family ga!r+1 x sets ! pace = ! tw5ty-f\r h\rs4 ,a *e]ful />t 9 ! morn+ may give an optimi/ic mom5tum = all-day hill-climb+2 or1 "o may slip deject$ly d[n hill if lead5-weight$ ) a morn+ gr\* 7"o's own1 or somebody else's74 ,ev5 fell[ bo>d]s might reflect on ?is1 ) pr(it4 ,preoccupi$ ) our own affairs1 we =get to be mutually consid]ate4 ,we habitually wake to ru% & worry1 tak+ social recreation *iefly at ! close ( day1 :5 too we>y to appreciate x4 ,might x n sometimes be well to get ourselves into a good humor ! fir/ ?+ 9 ! morn+1 & !n "w aft]w>d8 ,few p are ( su* a happy1 self-conta9$ disposition t !y d n ne$ ! su/a9+ influ5ce ( o!r *e]ful spirits4 ,mo/ ( u w\ld h m ( sun%9e 9 our he>ts if ! fir/ bus9ess ( ! morn+ _h be5 to put ourselves 9 h>mony ) our fell[-creatures socially4 ,& if we _c d ?is e day1 nor ev5 (t51 accord+ to our ideal1 we at lea/ d\bly appreciate ! r>e occasions :5 x has be5 possible1 & we feel impulsively grateful to ! ho/ess ^: ?\ghtful k9dness has made our holiday s bright at its dawn+4 ,o!r ways ( ent]ta9+ may be m impos+2 none are m delightful4 ,bid :om y w to d9e ) y1 b ask me to breakfa/4 ,,ev5+ ,,p>ties ,?is g5]al t]m includes a v>iety ( social ent]ta9m5ts1 & sugge/s all degrees ( =mality1 f ! /ately reception to ! surprise p>ty4 ,) a range s v>i$1 classification is n readily made4 ,"s features are always pres5t3 a ho/ & ho/ess always receive2 a gue/ always fir/ pays 8 respects to 8 ent]ta9]s1 & !n m+les agreeably ) ! ?rong4 ,he makes himself useful 9 any way t tact & c\rtesy sugge/4 ,supp] is s]v$1 usually ! buffet collation4 ,x is m =mal1 & less confus+1 if ! gue/s g to ! d9+-room--conv5i5t numb]s at a "t--in/ead ( be+ s]v$ 9 ! p>lors1 z at a lun*eon4 ,on =mal occasions pr(essional read]s & musicians are (t5 engag$ z ent]ta9]s4 ,sometimes ! amusem5t is furni%$ by clev] amateurs among ! gue/s1 :o may read1 s+1 or :i/le1 or :at n4 ,9 a circle :]e all are well acqua9t$1 "s ( ! pleasante/ ev5+ p>ties are ^? to ! success ( :i* ea* "o contributes 8 mite1 *e]fully s++ 9 ! *orus :5 nature has d5i$ him a solo voice1 & n all[+ any d>k jeal\sy ( sup]ior gifts to deprive ! h>mony ( 8 "o little note4 ,invitations to ^! in=mal p>ties are cordial & p]sonal 9 tone4 ,if ! gue/ is expect$ to make prep>ation1 9 co/ume or to fill "s "p on ! programme1 t fact is briefly /at$4 ,= practical sugge/ions1 consult ,p>lor ,games1 add+ any novel features t y c devise4 ,a ho/ess ) orig9al ideas = ent]ta9m5ts is always successful & popul>4 ,eld]ly p z well z ! "y enjoy ^! p>ties2 & !y are a safe res\rce = mix$ companies1 :5 a =m ( ent]ta9m5t mu/ be *os5 t w please all & (f5d none4 ,*ildr5's p>ties1 usually aft]noon affairs1 are (t5 m]ely *ildi% good times2 b aga91 !y are conduct$ 9 close imitation ( an ev5+ p>ty = adults1 & ?us made a means ( education 9 ! social c]emonial4 ,:5 s5sibly manag$1 ! *ildr5's p>ty af=ds a f9e opportunity = tra9+ ! little p 9 polite mann]s4 ,:5 ! *ildr5 are almo/ gr[n up1 b n out1 pleasant little p>ties = ! y\ng] set are giv5 by ! mo!rs1 to accu/om ! buds to conv5tionalities1 & prep>e ! debutantes & _! "y bro!rs to take _! place gracefully 9 ! l>g] social _w4 ,^! y\ng]-set p>ties are l a gr[n-up p>ty1 except t !y are conspicu\sly *ap]on$1 & all responsibility is assum$ by ! mo!rs & godmo!rs4 ,! two extreme phases ( ! ev5+ p>ty are ! conv5tional ball1 & ! rural sociable4 ,! special requirem5ts = a ball are good music1 & l>ge well-v5tilat$ rooms1 f :i* all sup]flu\s furniture has be5 remov$4 ,= music1 an or*e/ra ( f\r or six pieces may be suffici5t4 ,= space1 we mu/ make ! be/ ( :at we h1 if ! ball is giv5 at home4 ,?is is practicable only :]e ! rooms are reasonably spaci\s4 ,n[adays1 a ball 9 a private h\se is r>e1 = hotels1 clubs1 & fir/ class cat]]s furni% *>m+ ballrooms = r5tal to exclusive patrons4 ,b :e!r 9 h] own h\se or 9 a hir$ ballroom1 ! ho/ess is = ! "t at home2 & ! g5]al conduct ( ! ball is ! same 9 bo? cases4 ,decorations1 floral & o!rwise1 are important2 & a supp]1 s]v$ ei!r dur+ ! progress1 or at ! close ( ! dance--or bo?--is an indisp5sable feature4 ,! gue/s arrive at ! h\r designat$1 n e>li] ?an n9e o'clock4 ,! ho/ess is /ation$ at "s po9t ne> ! entrance ( ! draw+-room1 :]e %e rema9s dur+ ! ev5+ to receive ! gue/s1 :o mu/ pay _! respects to h]1 fir/ ( all4 ,a g5tleman w also lose no "t 9 f9d+ 8 ho/1 & pay+ him ! c\rtesy ( a def]5tial greet+4 ,z ! ho/ess _c delegate h] special duty ( receiv+1 %e has usually sev]al aids1 "y matrons1 :o keep a wat*ful eye ^u ! danc+ ?rong1 & see to x t p>tn]s are n lack+ = ^? :o might o!rwise be ov]look$2 & 9 any way t ! em]g5cy may sugge/1 or tact devise1 !y radiate ! hospitality f its c5tre--! ho/ess4 ,a g5tleman 9 ,am]ican society does n ask a lady to dance until he has be5 introduc$ to h]4 ,he may seek an introduction = ?is purpose1 or ! ho/ess may reque/ him to be introduc$4 ,9 ei!r case1 ! lady & ! g5tleman bo? *e]fully acquiesce4 ,a lady usually accepts ! invitation to dance1 unless ! dance is already engag$4 ,%e %\ld be c>eful to inspect h] tablets2 & n promise ! same dance to two diff]5t p>tn]s1 an awkw>d accid5t t sometimes happ5s to a he$less belle4 ,aft] a dance1 a g5tleman prom5ades ) 8 p>tn]1 *ats ) h] = a:ile1 &1 f9ally1 ) a graceful b[1 leaves h] once m 9 ! c>e ( h] *ap]one4 ,if a man has made an engagem5t to take a p>ticul> lady out to supp]1 he mu/ n =get himself & l+] talk+ to ano!r lady until supp] is fairly ann\nc$1 s9ce etiquette !n requires him to take out ! lady ) :om he is at ! mom5t talk+4 ,he %\ld seek ! "o he has *os51 "s mom5ts be=e1 & leave ! o!r lady free to receive o!r invitations to supp]4 ,any g5tleman :o obs]ves a lady :o is n be+ s]v$ ) refre%m5ts1 %\ld c\rte\sly (f] to br+ h] some?+4 ,if he is a total /rang] he w attempt no conv]sation beyond ! civilities ( ! case2 b ^! he w cordially ?\gh unobtrusively (f]4 ,! "y man :o does ^! little ?+s ) ! g5tle grace ( a knight errant1 may n "k t he is simply *>m+1 f a woman's /&po9t2 b ! fact rema9s4 ,a ball1 prop]1 is a /rictly =mal affair4 ,a danc+ p>ty1 :ile obs]v+ simil> regulations on ! danc+ floor1 may be1 9 ! social int]vals betwe5 dances1 z in=mal z a village sociable4 ,t is to say1 z in=mal z ! sociable ev] ought to be2 possibly n z in=mal z ! sociable sometimes is4 ,p :o h gr[n up toge!r1 z villag]s (t5 h1 are apt to consid] a life-long acqua9tance ! prop] basis = unlimit$ (f-h& famili>ity4 ,to a c]ta9 ext5t1 & 9 a c]ta9 s5se1 su* acqua9tance1 be+ second 9 intimacy only to ne> relation%ip1 does w>rant a cordial & tru/ful in=mality4 ,! cauti\s res]ve t m>ks "o's conduct t[>d a rec5t acqua9tance might ju/ly be res5t$ by a tri$ & tru/$ fri5d ( "o's y\?4 ,b ev5 relation%ip does n w>rant undignifi$ behavior1 or rude lib]ties ( spee* or action4 ,! boy & girl :o w5t to s*ool toge!r gr[ up to be ! "y man & woman ( society2 & :ile ! memory ( s*ool days is a bond ( he>ty fri5dl9ess betwe5 !m1 x is n necess>y t !y %\ld ev9ce _! mutual reg>d by a free-&-easy demeanor4 ,c\ntry sociables1 att5d$ l>gely by ! y\ng] memb]s ( families long acqua9t$ & associat$1 are apt to be r rollick+1 n to say r\gh & tumble1 affairs1 :]e practical jokes & unm]ciful guy+ are ! *>act]i/ic wit1 & su* sm>t tricks z bump+ an unsuspect+ comrade's head aga9/ ! wall are applaud$ ) %rieks ( admir+ laught]4 ,! onlook]s may be excus$ = _! tacit c\nt5ance ( ! rud5ess1 s9ce "s elem5t ( droll]y--t might h be5 wit1 "u bett] conditions--compels a smile1 9 spite ( a dignifi$ disapproval ( ! p]=mance4 ,a "y /ud5t1 unus$ to su* sc5es1 /&+ a little ap>t f su* a gr\p once rem>k$ judicially to a lady ne> him1 ,i d n c>e = su* d>e-devil sociability4 ,nor w\ld o!r "y p *]i% x z _! ideal ( a good "t if !y c\ld le>n h[ mu* m *>m+ altoge!r x is to ex*ange ! delicate c\rtesies t make up ref9$ social companion%ip4 ,! diff]5ce 9 social culture is :at di/+ui%es ! vulg> wag f ! urban wit4 ,! crude humor ( ! =m]1 (t5 m>r$ by co>s5ess1 is l ore 9 :i* ! dross greatly out-weighs ! pure metal4 ,! brilliant mots ( ! latt]1 ref9$ by ! processes ( culture1 are l ! gold nuggets sep>at$ f _! base surr\nd+s4 ,h[ to elim9ate ! d>e-devil f ! sociability ( c\ntry life1 )\t sub/itut+ an artificial /iffness1 is ! problem = e ?\ghtful & ref9$ man & woman 9 rural circles4 ,h[ to be k9dly affection$ "o to ano!r1 9 bro!rly love1 9 honor pref]r+ "o ano!r--p]haps t w\ld furni% ! keynote ( x all1 alike = ! citiz5 & ! ru/ic4 ,,! ,,tw5tie? ,,c5tury ,! prec$+ *apt]s describe e/abli%$ cu/oms 9 home ent]ta9+4 ,su* rules rema9 9 =ce = ! home conditions4 ,b :o c live 9 ?is electric-motor age )\t not+ ! gradual v>iation 9 ! ways ( do+ ?+s--*anges t are directly traceable to ! influ5ce ( mod]n inv5tions8 ,! trolley l9es h br\ght l>ge areas )9 ! city limits2 ! swift automobile has r$uc$ miles to furlongs4 ,t[n & c\ntry are int]m+l$ z nev] be=e1 & ea* is s5sibly modifi$ by ! o!r4 ,by its v "n1 ! ,t[n & ,c\ntry club recognizes ?is new community ( int]e/s4 ,its memb]s1 liv+ ev5 tw5ty miles away1 outdo ,%]idan's ride1 9 arriv+ at ! club on "t = lun*eon1 golf1 or d9n]4 ,:i* br+s to m9d ?is fact3 t to-day a l>ge "p ( =mal ent]ta9+ 9 cities is no long] at home4 ,elaborate d9n]s1 teas1 & lun*eons are giv5 at "o's club1 or at cafes1 exclusive tea rooms1 & 9 ! elegantly appo9t$ private d9+-rooms n[ provid$ by ! be/ hotels4 ,aft]-!atre supp]s are almo/ inv>iably tak5 at a fa%ionable re/aurant--d\btless greatly to ! relief ( bo? ! ho/ess & h] h\semaids4 ,:ile coop]ative h\sekeep+ is /ill an undevelop$ s*eme1 ?+s seem to be tr5d+ t way4 ,! multiplication ( huge ap>tm5t h\ses 7& dim9utive ap>tm5ts7 is ! o!r prime factor 9 ! case4 ,:ile ! hotel d9n] may h come into fa%ion fir/ z ! dire necessity ( ! cliff dwell]s1 its conv5i5ce appeals to _m h\sehold]s :o =m]ly w\ld n h dream$ ( (f]+ _! gue/s ! hospitality ( a cafe4 ,_m cons]vative p /ill deplore ! innovation2 b fa%ion approves1 & ! cu/om gr[s4 ,ent]ta9+ at "o's club is gov]n$ by ! rules ( t p>ticul> club4 ,:5 ent]ta9+ at tea rooms1 or cafes1 "o has simply to arrange ) ! sup]9t5d5t or ! head wait]1 = tables or private d9+-room1 = ! date *os52 to *oose ! m5u1 & ord] ! decorations4 ,?is done1 ! ent]ta9]s & _! fri5ds h b to appe> at ! /at$ h\r & play _! respective roles ) c>e-free grace4 ,^! d9n]s may be giv5 by a ba*elor1 to a mix$ company1 or to a bevy ( ! debutantes1 ) ! co-op]ation ( a society matron or a m>ri$ c\ple to *ap]one ! affair4 ,?is is a v pleasant way = a ba*elor to make return = ! social att5tions %[]$ on himself4 ,?is way ( ent]ta9+ may be lavi%ly exp5sive1 b x is n necess>ily s2 all ?+s consid]$1 x may n greatly exce$ ! co/ ( simil> ent]ta9+ at home4 ,9 ?is l& ( ! free1 any "o :o w may give a tea room lun*eon4 ,b ! semi-publicity ( ^! functions invites criticism2 & p ( mod]ate income discreetly =be> attempt+ any?+ too ambiti\s = _! obvi\s means4 ,elegant simplicity is always good =m4 ,! univ]sal use ( ! telephone is ano!r factor 9 ! modification ( social cu/oms4 ,among famili> fri5ds1 ! little *at ov] ! 'phone l>gely takes ! place ( ! in=mal call4 ,also1 invitations to any b /rictly =mal functions are n[ s5t by telephone1 if agreeable to bo? p>ties2 ?\gh x is /ill consid]$ bett] to adh]e to ! m respectful writt5 =m if !re is any d\bt ab\t ! new way be+ acceptable to ! p>ty ( ! second "p4 ,:ile ,i c\nsel cons]vatism 9 ^! *anges1 ,i am conv9c$ t ! new dyna/y ( wire & wireless is de/9$ to dom9ate u2 & z discov]y cont9ues & inv5tions multiply1 ! "t is ne> :5 imm$iate communication w be _h at long range2 possibly telepa?y--:o kn[s8 ,or1 possibly tele-photography ) x--:y n8 ,!n1 ! sl[1 labori\s writ+ ( messages w be z mu* out ( date z ! sup]-annuat$ /age-coa*4 ,b--n yet2 we are /ill 9 ! process ( evolution4 ,x is /ill safe to he$ ,pope's fam\s advice3 ,be n ! fir/ by :om ! new is tri$1 ,nor yet ! la/ to lay ! old aside4 ,,! ,,/rang] ,,t ,,is ,,)9 ,,?y ,,gates ,x is ! duty ( ! ho/ or ho/ess to give a polite & *e]ful welcome to ! gue/ :om !y h invit$ to cross _! ?re%old4 ,dur+ ! "t t %e rema9s "u _! ro( !y h ! responsibility ( mak+ h] com=table1 & z happy z possible4 ,to d ?is1 att5tion to details is ( ! greate/ consequ5ce4 ,x is possible to give d9n]s1 & musicales1 & receptions = a gue/1 & to introduce h] to a *oice circle ( fri5ds2 to plan drives & excursions = sight-see+ to po9ts ( int]e/2 to br+ out ! be/ pres]ves f ! /ore-room1 & put on ! table all ! delicacies ( ! season2 & yet some?+ may be lack+4 ,a subtle expression ( discom=t may at times cl\d ! face ( ! gue/1 & greatly di/urb ! anxi\s ho/ess1 :o r$\bles h] ef=ts to ?9k ( some?+ else 9 ! way ( ent]ta9m5t & div]sion4 ,if ?is well-mean+ ho/ess w accompany me to ! gue/-room :ile its tempor>y occupant is read+ on ! front por*1 p]haps ,i c po9t out to h] "s ?+s t w give a clue to ! my/]y4 ,! gue/-room is l>ge & airy1 & well-furni%$1 z ! phrase goes1 ) a s(t c>pet prevail+ly blue1 & a prettily c>v$ oak5 set4 ,! b$ is cov]$ ) a lace c\nt]pane ov] a blue silk quilt1 & d[ny pill[s invite to slumb]4 ,curta9s ( blue silk & :ite lace are drap$ at ! w9d[s2 cu%ions1 tidies1 sa*ets1 gim-cracks ( e description load ! bureau1 & lie ar\nd 9 pr(usion2 a pretty rug ( fluffy fur is spread be=e a com=table c\*1 & a rock+-*air & foot-/ool are 9 ! cozy w9d[ recess4 ,a small table ) a vase ( fl[]s ^u x occupies "o space aga9/ ! wall4 ,! wa%-/& be>s ! regulation toilet set1 b[l & pit*]1 soap-di%1 etc41 ) ! *9a j> set 9 ! corn]4 ,pl5ty ( damask t[els hang on ! rack1 & ! spla%] is a m>vel ( ne$lework4 ,well1 is n ?is a pretty com=table room8 ,x seems ungraci\s to answ] nay2 b tru? compels me to say t x proves to be a mo/ uncom=table room1 z manag$4 ,s9ce ! gue/ arriv$1 ?is ?ree-qu>t pit*] has be5 fill$ ea* morn+ ) cold wat]4 ,beyond ?is1 no (f] ( ! aque\s elem5t 9 any =m has be5 made4 ,! gue/1 accu/om$ at home to an abundance ( hot wat]1 & ! luxury ( a ba? daily--or (t5]1 at w--has be5 suff]+ ! greate/ privation r ?an tr\ble h] ho/ess ) a reque/ = some?+ :i* is s evid5tly n ?\ght ( 9 ?is h\se4 ,) soap t *aps1 & a /iff nail-bru% %e has pa9fully scrubb$ h] cold knuckles to remove ! grime :i* sev]al days ( imp]fect ablution has r5d]$ almo/ immovable--except z ! sk9 comes ) x4 ,& z to h] cu/om>y ba?1 %e has sub/itut$ s mu* ( ha/y spong+ z *att]+ tee? w all[1 f9i%+ (f ) a dry poli% :5 prud5ce =bids fur!r risk ( a *ill2 & %e has complet$ h] toilet ) a s5se ( self-disgu/1 & a dissatisfaction ) h] surr\nd+s :i* makes h] long = ! day set = ! t]m9ation if ?is visit1 :i* might h be5 s pleasant1 if %e _h be5 made physically com=table4 ,:5 %e goes home %e w answ]1 to ! k9d inquiries ( h] "m3 ,oh6 yes2 ,i _h a lovely "t6--or t is1 ,i %\ld h _h1 if only ,i c\ld h _h a ba?6 ,:e!r x is t "s p d n c>e = ba?+1 & !re=e d n realize its necessity to ! com=t ( o!r p2 or :e!r !y h an idea t a gue/ is a be+ :o1 :ile 9 t role1 ne$s none ( ! ord9>y com=ts ( e-day life2 or1 :atev] ! reason may be1 ?is failure to provide ba? facilities is "o ( ! mo/ common & flagrant neglects ( hospitality4 ,:5 ! gue/-room has no private ba? atta*$1 & x is impracticable to (f] ! use ( ! family ba?-room1 a small tub ( z9c or granite w>e %\ld be includ$ 9 ! furni%+ ( ! gue/-room1 toge!r ) a squ>e ( ?9 oil-clo? to spread on ! c>pet4 ,! gue/ %\ld be in=m$ t hot wat] is always 9 read9ess to be br\ght to h] room :5ev] %e requires x4 ,9 c\ntry h\ses hav+ no mod]n conv5i5ces1 e kit*5 /ove may h an ample boil] always fill$ ) clean wat]1 s t at all times hot wat] may be available = ba?+ purposes4 ,x is unp>donable to live )\t at lea/ ?is mu* provision = an ess5tial condition ( civiliz$ life--! cleanl9ess t is next to godl9ess4 ,9 addition to ! wat] supply1 ! gue/-room %\ld conta9 o!r requisites = a com=table toilet4 ,presumably1 e gue/ :o comes = a sev]al-days' /ay br+s ) h] ! small articles %e w ne$2 b ov]sights are frequ5t 9 hurri$ pack+1 & ! res\rces ( ! gue/-room %\ld be equal to any su* em]g5cy1 ev5 ?\gh only a "p ( ! provision is requir$ 9 any "o case4 ,a neat1 close cab9et1 ) a closet b5ea? & %elves above1 is a desirable piece ( furniture4 ,9 ! closet ! ba?-tub c be /or$1 & ba?-bru%es1 lo(ahs1 & sponges c be hung up :ile ! %elves may hold a supply ( toilet sundries2 = example1 a flask ( bay rum1 & "o ( violet-wat]2 a bottle ( spirits ( ammonia1 a bottle ( alcohol1 a _s lamp & curl+ tongs1 too?-p[d]1 rosewat]1 & glyc]9e2 a j> ( f9e cold-cream1 hair-bru% & combs1 a clo!s-bru%1 a :isk broom1 a res]ve supply ( soap--,ivory 7if ! wat] is h>d1 ?is soap is sup]ior = ! ba?7 & f9e ca/ile1 & a delicately-sc5t$ soap ( fir/ quality4 ,! *eap sc5t$ abom9ations %\ld n be inflict$ on a gue/4 ,! dress+-table %\ld h a supply ( p9s 9 v>iety1 includ+ hairp9s2 a "w-box1 conta9+ ne$les & ?read1 a ?imble1 scissors1 tape1 %oe-buttons1 etc4 ,a bottle ( cologne & also ( "s fir/-class triple extract %\ld /& on ! bureau4 ,) all ?is provid$1 "o is n likely to lack any com=t = ! toilet2 yet1 ) x all1 ! ho/ess %\ld make h] gue/ und]/& t ! motto is3 ,if y don't see :at y want1 ask = x4 ,?is fre$om w n be tak5 by a s5sitive gue/ unless x is cle>ly invit$4 ,! self-complac5t way 9 :i* a ho/ess sometimes u%]s a gue/ into ! be/ room1 & !n leaves h] to ! m]cy ( :at %e c f9d--or1 r1 _c f9d--=e/alls all reque/s = additional supplies4 ,9 ! mid/ ( all ! sat9 & lace flumm]y1 x is pa!tic to suff] 9 sil5ce = ! lack ( a little begg>ly hot wat]4 ,& yet1 su* is ! exp]i5ce ( _m an honor$ gue/4 ,beside ! toilet com=ts1 !re are o!r ?+s t may well be add$ to ! equipm5t ( ! gue/-room4 ,"o1 9 p>ticul>1 is a well-appo9t$ little writ+-desk1 conta9+ all ! requisites = lett]-writ+1 includ+ /amps4 ,p]haps ! gue/ has br\ght ^! ?+s ) h]1 m likely %e has =gott5 !m1 & x may be a matt] ( great conv5i5ce to h] to f9d ?is little desk await+ h]4 ,if !re is a %elf above1 a selection ( /&>d & ent]ta9+ books may be plac$ !reon4 ,! ,bible1 a book ( ,common ,pray]1 a hymnal1 may be includ$2 a copy ( ,%akespe>e1 a diction>y1 "s clev] & int]e/+ book1 l ,curi\s ,que/ions1 & a volume or two ( sket*es & essays1 rang+ 9 /yle f ,em]son to ,j]ome ,k4 ,j]ome1 may agreeably fill ! mid-day h\r ( re/ :i* ! gue/ takes 9 h] room be=e dress+ = ! aft]noon4 ,! only tr\ble is t ! gue/ :o is made s ?or\ghly com=table may =get to g home4 ,at all ev5ts1 %e w no d\bt hail ) delight a second invitation to come4 ,x may be object$ t to keep ! gue/-room suppli$ to ?is ext5t w\ld involve a consid]able exp5se2 b t w\ld dep5d on ! "* ( ! gue/4 ,no well-br$ woman w\ld dep5d on ^! supplies = ! entire p]iod ( a long visit4 ,!y are !re to meet ! em]g5cy ( a belat$ trunk1 ( some?+ =gott5 or ov]look$1 or ! delays 9 mak+ necess>y pur*ases aft] h] arrival4 ,%e w gratefully accept ! cologne until h] own flask is unpack$1 b %e leaves ! gue/-room supply b little dim9i%$ :5 %e dep>ts4 ,! ho/ess :o has be5 embitt]$ by see+ only a tra9 ( empty bottles 9 ! wake ( a dep>t+ gue/ may naturally feel disc\rag$ ab\t (f]+ unlimit$ hospitality 9 ! matt] ( druggi/s' sundries4 ,b x is m]ely t %e has be5 un=tunate 9 h] gue/s4 ,%e %\ld revise h] visit+ li/4 ,9 ent]ta9+ ! "r sort ( p1 %e w h no su* exp]i5ce4 ,%e w be fully rew>d$ = e c>e %e be/[s to make h] h\se a home-l resort1 & %e w f9d t ! co/ am\nts to v little comp>$ ) ! l>ge return x br+s 9 ! way ( social appreciation1 to say no?+ ( ! satisfaction af=d$ to h] own b5evol5t impulses4 ,x is m bless$ to give ?an to receive1 z ! ideal ho/ess c te/ify4 ,,make ,,y\rself ,,at ,,home ,! responsibilities ( a visit are n all on ! %\ld]s ( a ho/ess4 ,! gue/ has also a duty 9 ! matt]4 ,! phrase ( welcome quot$ above is v>i\sly int]pret$1 if we may judge by ! v>i\s ways 9 :i* ! injunction is obey$4 ,to "s p1 make y\rself at home is a free p]mit to take possession ( ev]y?+ on ! premises2 to cut ! *oice/ roses 9 ! g>d51 to call = ! c>riage at caprici\s w1 to consult no "o's com=t b _! own1 & to impose ^u ! polite =be>ance ( e "o else1 reg>dless--9 %ort1 to behave z no "o c behave at home = any l5g? ( "t )\t disrupt+ t home4 ,to make "o's self at home is to adapt "o's self to "o's environm5t4 ,if ?+s are diff]5t f :at we are accu/om$ to1 we mu/ try to accu/om ourselves to !m1 & ! mann]ly gue/ w /rive to d ?is1 n z a cross1 b z a pleasure4 ,%e w meet cordially ! fri5ds ( h] ho/ess :o are introduc$ to h]1 h[ev] little !y attract h]2 %e w *e]fully accompany ! family to _! *ur*1 ev5 ?\gh x be ( a diff]5t fai? f h] own2 & %e w li/5 respectfully to ! s]mon1 & refra9 f ungraci\s criticism ( ! *oir or ! m9i/]4 ,%e w take an int]e/ 9 any local happ5+s t are ( vital int]e/ to h] ent]ta9]s2 %e w %[ lively appreciation ( ev]y?+ done = h] ent]ta9m5t1 ev5 ?\gh x may be b a commonplace & dull affair1 9 h] private judgm5t4 ,%e w measure h] grateful duty to !m1 n s mu* by ! degree ( pleasure :i* !y actually give h]1 z by ! am\nt ( ef=t :i* !y obvi\sly make4 ,x is v ungraci\s = a gue/ ( wide social exp]i5ce to be apa!tic :5 "s unsophi/icat$ little ho/ess (f]s :at to h] seems a novel treat1 b :i* to h] worldly-wise gue/ is a ?readb>e device4 ,no matt] if ! device is ?readb>e2 ! _s ( k9dness :i* prompts ! ef=t is immortal2 & ?\gh we h se5 ra9b[ teas until we are we>y ( !m1 we w ent] *e]fully into ! _s ( ?is "o1 because our little ho/ess 9 ! innoc5ce ( h] he>t has work$ s h>d to make x ready 9 our honor4 ,! gue/ %\ld avoid giv+ extra tr\ble to ! ho/ess1 or to ! s]vants4 ,%e may (f] assi/ance :5 circum/ances w>rant h] do+ s1 b mu/ refra9 f m$dl+ ) h\sehold matt]s :5 h] help is evid5tly n desir$4 ,%e %\ld ent]ta9 h]self easily :5 ! ho/ess is o!rwise busy1 yet nev] seem to h any absorb+ occupation t w\ld prev5t h] f be+ ready at once to jo9 ! family 9 any project4 ,if !re are *ildr5 9 ! h\se1 %e %\ld be cordial & affectionate ) !m1 )\t gu%+ ins9c]ity or indiscreet pett+1 & %e %\ld n betray any annoyance if !y are noisy & occasionally tr\blesome--z ! be/ ( *ildr5 w be at times4 ,%e %\ld aim to feel & act z ?\gh ! int]e/s & pleasures ( ! family 7 h] own1 & n make rem>ks t are tacit comp>isons to _! disadvantage4 ,if !re are gl>+ faults 9 ! dome/ic managem5t1 x is n h] prov9ce to correct !m1 except s f> z a quiet example may be subtly influ5tial1 z x w be1 if at he>t %e makes h]self a "p ( ! circle ( sympa?y4 ,aft] h] return to h] own home1 %e %\ld write a lett] to h] ho/ess1 express+ ! pleasure :i* ! memory ( h] visit gives h]1 & gracefully ?ank+ h] fri5d = all t made ! soj\rn s re/ful & happy4 ,!re is some?+ s+ul>ly inspir+ 9 ! idea ( mak+ "o's self at home1 9 ! s5se ( f9d+ ! value 9 e environm5t :i* fate1 or *ance1 or ,provid5ce may place u 94 ,& :51 z welcome gue/s1 we li/5 to ?is he>ty greet+1 we resolve t 9 all ways consi/5t ) our duty to our ent]ta9]s1 & ) all grateful appreciation ( _! k9dness to u1 we w make ourselves at home4 ,,z ,,! ,,twig ,,is ,,b5t ,e "o !oretically admits ! importance ( e>ly tra9+4 ,x is demon/rat$ 9 ! animal & ! vegetable k+doms1 :]ev] organic life unfolds & gr[s2 & t ! human *ild is no exception is promptly recogniz$ 9 !ory1 h[ev] fatally practice ignores x4 ,n t p>5ts mean to ignore x2 b !re is a happy-g-lucky impression t someh[ he w come out all "r2 t z he gets old]1 8 own good s5se w ass]t itself1 & s on4 ,happily1 ?is is p>tly true4 ,a native good disposition & good s5se saves _m a *ild f ! ru9 :i* an unwise c\rse ( tra9+ has done its be/ to precipitate4 ,! wond] is t !y turn out z well z !y d4 ,p]haps ,provid5ce1 9 visit+ its judgm5ts1 is l5i5t to ! "y & inexp]i5c$ p>5ts1 !mselves undiscipl9$2 to ! helpless *ild1 at ! m]cy ( 8 bl9d guides4 ,!re is too mu* negative1 too little positive1 9 *ild-tra9+2 too mu* qu]ul\s reit]ation ( don't1 too little intellig5t tea*+ h[ to d4 ,little *ildr5 l to be %[n h[2 !y are fasc9at$ ) ! games & gifts ( ! k9d]g>t51 :i* aims to tea* some?+1 n to repress ev]y?+4 ,*ildr5 are delight$ to le>n little polite phrases2 to make a b[2 to hold a =k da9tily2 to (f] little c\rtesies1 & to receive a smil+ approbation4 ,!y w\ld r d ?+s prettily ?an n4 ,!y are n contr>y1 exceptional cases ( h]$it>y ugl9ess aside4 ,!y are apt pupils1 :e!r _! tutor be a philosoph] or a fool4 ,& if a faulty example be a *ild's mo/ con/ant & influ5tial tea*]1 :at wond] t ! lessons1 well-le>n$1 are put 9 practice8 ,& j !n1 if y li/51 y w he> "s "o issue ! emphatic b vacu\s comm&1 ,don't6 ,& ! baby doesn't1 = ! space ( a few seconds2 aft] :i*1 unable to get any new sugge/ions out ( ! idea-less in/ructions giv5 him1 he proce$s to d ! same ?+ ov]1 only to be aga9 comm&$ to desi/1 a spank+ = disob$i5ce ?is "t v>y+ ! monotony ( ! univ]sal prohibition4 ,! pr(ane poll-p>rot is n a m />tl+ witness to ! "* ( its surr\nd+s ?an ! t]rible infant1 ^: rude snat*+s1 p]t contradictions1 & glib slang phrases are sure to be mo/ effectively %[n (f 9 ! pres5ce ( visitors4 ,x is ( little use to affect griev$ surprise1 or /]n reprobation1 :5 "o's *ildr5 are m]ely exhibit+ _! daily discipl9e4 ,mo/ p>5ts feel ke5ly ! emb>rassm5t ( hav+ ! infant misbehave s inopportunely1 & !y are apt to (f] a tacit apology & a vague self-def5se by %>ply reprim&+ ! *ild 9 words t are meant to give ! visitor ! idea t !y--! p>5ts--nev] he>d or saw su* conduct be=e1 & are n[ froz5 ) amazem5t4 ,! non*alant or incr$ul\s or impi% way 9 :i* ! *ildr5 receive ^! repro(s only confirms ! suspicion t su* sc5es h be5 frequ5t1 & ! discipl9e att5d+ !m has be5 inconsequ5t4 ,"o p>5t ,i h he>d ackn[l$ge ! tru? ( ! matt]4 ,an eld]ly cl]gyman 0 8 gue/1 & ! f\r-ye>-old daught] ( ! h\se 0 ent]ta9+ ! gr&pa ) a toy puzzle1 :i* he fumbl$ ) 9 va91 unable to put x toge!r or to take x ap>t4 ,impati5t at la/1 ! little girl ha/ily snat*$ x f 8 h& ) a *ildi% gr[l ( contempt1 & proce$$ to %[ him ! trick1 say+1 ) an airy m+l+ ( criticism & condesc5sion1 ,by ,jove6 y\r "n is ,d5nis2 y are n 9 x6 ,! old g5tleman paus$1 in/9ctively prep>$ to he> ! usual ,:y1 daught]6 papa is a/oni%$ to he> 8 little girl1 etc1 etc41 aft] ! fa%ion ( ! p>5tal hypocrite4 ,b ?is c&id "y fa!r met ! dignifi$ eyes squ>ely1 & said promptly1 ,i'm sorry1 ,doctor1 b !re's no use d5y+ x2 %e is j giv+ me away4 ,he _h ! s5se to recognize 8 own tea*+1 ! hone/y to admit x4 ,:e!r he has ! discretion to re=m 8 me?ods rema9s to be se54 ,= "r "h is ano!r po9t3 t p ?9k x is cute = a little *ild to say & d ?+s t 9 a *ild a few ye>s old] w\ld be mo/ unattractively rude4 ,b !y mu/ reflect t ?is same cute little *ild w soon be a few ye>s old]1 & w c>ry into t rip] age ! fix$ habits t are =m+ n[2 & x w n be s easy a task to trans=m ! *ild's mann]s z x is to dress him 9 a l>g] suit ( clo!s4 ,a *oice rose 0 graft$ ^u a wild1 ?orny /ock1 & plant$ beside a v]&a trellis4 ,! own] wat*$ x c>efully = a ye> or s1 cutt+ d[n ! rank %oots ( ! wild /ock z !y sprang aggressively f ! root1 all[+ ! graft$ bran* to gr[ 9 full luxuriance1 be>+ c>m9e clu/]s t fill$ ! g>d5 ) spicy odor4 ,! next spr+ an ignorant g>d5] prun$ away ! bran*es1 cutt+ d[n ! sl5d]e/ & leav+ :at to 8 unpractic$ eye 7 ! mo/ desirable1 because ! ?riftie/1 %oots2 & :5 ! "t ( blossoms came1 no?+ appe>$ b ! ragg$ petals ( ! wild ?orn4 ,s1 9 ! rosebud g>d5 ( girls--or boys4 ,if ! *oice graft ( cultur$ mann]s 7= x is a graft on ! /urdy b wayw>d /ock ( human nature7 is left to be *ok$ out by ! rank1 wild gr[? ( impulse1 or if by "s flagrant error 9 example & discipl9e x is practically cut d[n at ! ma9 bran*1 :at c ! c>eless tra9] expect8 ,he may weep to f9d no velvet-petal$ rose :5 he comes to look = x2 b he has no "r to blame ! rose-bu%1 nor c he1 at ?is late day1 hide ! tact ( 8 blund]+ prun+ by righte\sly affirm+ t he is p]fectly a/oni%$4 ,8 neighbors1 :o h quietly not$ ! me?ods pursu$ 9 8 k9d]g>t51 are n 9 ! lea/ surpris$4 ,ano!r res\rce = escap+ blame is t ( expla9+ t ! *ildr5 le>n ^! ?+s at s*ool4 ,presumably !y d n mean f ! tea*]s4 ,x is f ! o!r *ildr51 :o seem to be a mo/ injuri\s class ( society4 ,x is _! influ5ce :i* makes our *ildr5 s rude & s ungrammatical2 &1 /rangely en\gh1 ?\gh ^! o!r *ildr5 nev] d9e ) our *ildr51 s subtle & f>-rea*+ is _! baleful influ5ce t our *ildr5's defective mann]s at ! table are directly traceable to ! same evil s\rce4 ,grant$1 a measure ( tru? 9 ! *>ge2 = l>ge mir?fulness & l>ge imitation lead *ildr5 to d ?+s j = fun1 :i* all ! "t !y "k bett] ?an to p]si/ 94 ,b1 z a fact1 demon/rat$ by obs]vation1 a v small p]c5tage ( ! *ildr5 :o are habituat$ to correct behavior at home are ev] s]i\sly affect$ by outside influ5ces4 ,a sup]ficial effect may %[ 9 little ?+s2 b su* lapses ( spee* or mann] are transi5t1 & 9 no degree control ! developm5t ( ! *ild :5 8 home tra9+ is irreproa*able4 ,on ! o!r h&1 ! ef=ts ( an untir+ tea*]1 labor+ five h\rs a day to tea* correct language & enunciation1 may be ( little p]man5t value1 :5 ! rema9+ h\rs ( ! day are sp5t 9 a home :]e ! ,engli% gramm> h\rly meets a viol5t dea?4 ,& :at is true ( gramm> is equally true ( morals & mann]s4 ,! s*ool & society may be measurably influ5tial2 b ! home ca/s ! decid+ vote4 ,& :5 p note ! mann]s--good or bad--( y\r boys & girls1 !y d n ask1 ,:at s*ool d !y att5d8 ,:at *ildr5 d !y associate )8 b1 ,^: *ildr5 are !y8 ,w\ld y h !m mann]ly8 ,tea* !m2 by precept1 c]ta9ly2 b above all ?+s1 by example4 ,,social ,,"y ,,am]ica ,h5ry ! ,fif?1 ( ,engl&1 dispos$ ( c]ta9 tr\blesome re/rictions ( etiquette by rem>k+ t nice cu/oms curtsey to great k+s3 b 9 ! tw5tie? c5tury1 cu/oms are m likely to curtsey to ! common s5se ( ! community at l>ge4 ,city codes & c\ntry cu/oms pres5t "s contradicti\s4 ,! exact rules ( etiquette 9 social =malities1 :i* are d]iv$ f ! e/abli%$ usage ( fa%ionable circles 9 ! city1 are con/antly subject to modifications :5 !y are appli$ "u ! conditions f\nd 9 rural neighborhoods4 ,?is is pla9ly illu/rat$ 9 ! comm+l+s ( social ,"y ,am]ica4 ,:]eas ! city-br$ girl is c>efully *ap]on$1 ! village girl ( equal social /&+1 intr9sically speak+1 is accu/om$ to g ab\t unconc]n$ly1 ei!r alone or "u ! escort ( "s y\?1 ) :om %e makes engagem5ts to drive1 or walk1 or r[1 or att5d picnics1 )\t ei!r ( !m1 z a rule1 ?9k+ x necess>y to ask h] "m to jo9 !m1 or ev5 to give h] p]mission1 t be+ tak5 = grant$1 s9ce x has probably nev] be5 d5i$4 ,& ! "q naturally arises1 ,:y %\ld x be d5i$1 :5 ! "y man is a tru/$ *um ( h] bro!r1 & z safe an escort = h] z h] own fa!r w\ld be8 ,x is a v diff]5t case f ! simil> in/ance 9 ! city1 :]e ! gallant is a comp>ative /rang]1 :o may or may n be reliable1 & :]e a conv5tional _w is coldly look+ on4 ,b1 moreov]1 if ?is "y c\ntry girl *ooses1 %e goes alone to a little ev5+ p>ty a few doors away1 or to ! ev5+ meet+ at ! village *ur*1 & ?is same y\?1 or "s o!r "o1 escorts h] home 9 an impromptu fa%ion4 ,! "y lady probably invites him into ! h\se1 if ! h\r is e>ly & ! family are /ill circl$ ab\t ! p>lor lamp4 ,or1 if x is late1 %e does n ask him 91 b invites him to call4 ,%e does n ?ank him = 8 escort1 unless x has be5 giv5 at obvi\s inconv5i5ce to himself or o!rs1 & is !re=e n s mu* a matt] ( gallantry z ( neighborly accommodation4 ,9 ! latt] case %e does ?ank him frankly = 8 tr\ble4 ,:5 ! "y man calls to see h]1 %e receives him ) or )\t ! pres5ce ( h] "m or o!r memb]s ( ! family4 ,%e may invite him to tea1 ) h] "m's s]5e b passive approval2 &1 9 fact1 ! go+s & com+s ( ^! "y p are m l ! comrad]y ( two girls ?an l ! =mal association ( a "y man & "y woman 9 society4 ,we are accu/om$ to call su* a code a c\ntry code1 because ( its almo/ univ]sal foll[+ 9 small t[ns & villages4 ,b simil> fre$om ( association is also obs]v$ 9 city circles outside ( ! exclusive b\nds ( fa%ionable life4 ,inde$1 "s ( ! fa%ions call$ c\ntryfi$ are equally cityfi$1 if we judge by ! ext5t ( ! usage4 ,b :at has be5 q safe & s5sible & ref9$ 9 ! p>ticul> in/ance 9 ! c\ntry1 may be a mo/ unsafe fre$om 9 ! city1 :]e e circle is con/antly be+ invad$1 m or less1 by new-com]s & by a float+ cont+5t ( transi5t p1 ^: record is n kn[n ev5 to ! p :o introduce !m4 ,! frank fri5dl9ess t is usually good =m 9 ! village circle is usually a great mi/ake 9 ! city4 ,x is bett] t "y ladies1 :e!r nom9ally *ap]on$ or n1 %\ld be gu>d$ aga9/ mak+ acqua9tances too readily1 especially among "y m54 ,if a "y man is des]v+ ( social recognition1 let ! "y lady's "m grant x to him by invit+ him to h] h\se & p]mitt+ 8 association ) h] own "y p4 ,a "y girl %\ld n ext5d ^! invitations to call unless %e is well acqua9t$ ) ! "y man1 or unless %e gives ! invitation 9 h] "m's "n1 & ) ! und]/&+ t he w be receiv$ by h] "m z well z h]self4 ,usually1 ! "m %\ld be ! "o to ext5d ! hospitality4 ,9 ! case ( an unm>ri$ woman :o is no long] "y1 x is presum$ t discretion w guide h] z to :5 x is dignifi$ & prop] to give invitations to call1 ! cons]vative side be+ ! safe side :]e /rang]s are conc]n$4 ,! ideal condition ( ,am]icaniz$ *ap]onage is f> f be+ realiz$ 9 ! great mass ( ,am]ican society4 ,a small & exclusive circle obs]ves ! ,engli% code 9 ?is matt]2 ! re/ ( society ignore ! :ole idea--z an idea--?\gh ! ?\ghtful "m in/9ctively gu>ds h] daught] 9 a desultory way1 p]haps meet+ ! _s ( ! idea 9 ! ma91 b flagrantly disreg>d+ ! lett] ( ! =mal code4 ,! two extremes we h2 b a real1 sy/ematic code ( *ap]onage t is n ,fr5*1 nor ,engli%1 nor ,spani%1 b :olesome1 s5sible1 ?or\gh-go+ ,am]ican "m's gu>dian%ip we are yet to see def9itely c>ri$ out4 ,! occasional in/ance ( x :i* we n[ & !n obs]ve has taught u to appreciate :at w\ld be ! happie/ developm5t 9 our social life1 if once atta9$4 ,mean:ile1 ! av]age ,am]ican girl w probably cont9ue to %9e z ! />tl+ exception to ! rule2 & 9 h] rem>kable escapes f s]i\s blund]s1 w cont9ue to be> ! palm = self-comm& & good s5se4 ,h] ability to ignore a law1 :ile consci\sly *]i%+ all t ! law 0 devis$ to protect1 is a flatt]+ indication ( h] m5tal & moral integrity4 ,ev5 a dull-witt$ p]son c foll[ a set rule2 x requires "s g5ius to make a legitimate exception1 & x also involves "s tem]ity4 ,x is l ga!r+ mu%rooms2 p]haps !y are edible1 p]haps !y are poison\s2 = ! v>i\s fungi look v mu* alike4 ,if x happ5s to be "r1 x is "r2 if x happ5s to be wrong1 x is %e] disa/]4 ,a social code t borr[s no artifice f =eign l&s & in/itutions1 b :i*1 true to ! _s ( our own c\ntry1 gu>ds ! lib]ty ( "y girls on ! "o h&1 :ile on ! o!r x %ields !m f lic5se1 w be welcom$ by all ?\ghtful p4 ,! ,am]ican *ap]one is ! com+ woman4 ,! girls ( ! next g5]ation w rise up & call h] bless$4 ,,! ,,am]ican ,,*ap]one ,! "q ( ! *ap]one 9 ,am]ica is peculi>ly p]plex+4 ,! con/]nation ( ! h5 ^: brood ( duckl+s took to ! wat] is a fit symbol ( ! horrifi$ amazem5t ) :i* an old-_w du5na w\ld be fill$ if %e attempt$ to look aft] a bevy ( typical ,am]ican girls1 ) _! indep5d5t--yet confus$--ideas ( social requirem5ts 9 ! matt] ( *ap]onage4 ,9 ,europe1 :]e social l9es are di/9ctly drawn1 a "y woman ei!r belongs 9 society or else %e does n4 ,9 ! =m] case %e is con/antly att5d$ by a *ap]one4 ,9 ! latt] case %e is m]ely a "y p]son1 a work+ girl1 = :om society makes no laws4 ,9 our c\ntry !re is a leisure class ( society wom51 s recogniz$4 ,if ^! alone con/itut$ good society 9 ,am]ica1 we might simply adopt ! ,european di/9ctions1 & settle ! *ap]one "q by a p>ticul> affirmative ref]r+ to ^! alone4 ,b we reflect t our ?\ghts ?r\gh\t ?is little volume are ma9ly = ^? :o dwell )9 ! broad zone ( ! av]age h]et(ore ref]r$ to4 ,9 ?is republican l& no "o c say t ! b\nds ( good society lie arbitr>ily "h & !re2 c]ta9ly !y are n m>k$ by a l9e drawn betwe5 occupation & leisure4 ,! same "y girl--aft] leav+ s*ool1 at ! p]iod :5 society life beg9s--may be 9 society dur+ leisure h\rs & 9 bus9ess dur+ work+ h\rs4 ,x is acc\nt$ p]fectly lady-l & praisewor?y = a "y woman1 well born & br$1 to support h]self by "s remun]ative employm5t t holds h] to bus9ess h\rs4 ,%e may be a tea*]1 an arti/1 a scribe1 an editor1 a /5ograph]1 a book-keep]--:at may %e n d1 ) tal5t1 tra9+1 & good s5se8 ,& %e may d ?is )\t be+ "o iota less a lady--if %e is "o to beg9 )4 ,n[ appe>s ! complication4 ,z a bus9ess woman1 ! self-reliant "y girl does n ne$ a *ap]one4 ,z a society woman1 ?is inexp]i5c$1 s5sitive1 human-nature-tru/+ *ild does ne$ a *ap]one4 ,%e is1 !re=e1 subject to :at we may call int]mitt5t *ap]onage4 ,bus9ess1 def9ite1 s]i\s occupation ( any k9d1 is a coat ( mail4 ,! woman or girl :o is pla9ly absorb$ 9 "s e>ne/ & dignifi$ "w is %ield$ f mis9t]pretation or imp]t95t intrusion :ile engag$ 9 t "w4 ,%e may g unatt5d$ to & f h] place ( bus9ess1 = h] de/9ation is und]/ood1 & h] purpose legitimate4 ,%e ne$s no gu>dian1 = h] capacity to take c>e ( h]self "u ^! conditions1 is demon/rat$ to a respectful public4 ,! spectacle ( a /ately middle-ag$ woman accompany+ ea* girl book-keep] to h] desk e morn+ w\ld be burlesque 9 ! extreme4 ,! girl :o is ?us all[$ to g alone to an (fice 9 bus9ess h\rs1 sometimes ?9ks x absurd = any "o to say t %e mu/ n g alone to a draw+-room1 & %e does g alone4 ,"r "h ?is indep5d5t girl makes a mi/ake4 ,x is grant$ t ! girl ) bra9s & pr9ciple to be> h]self discreetly dur+ (fice h\rs is probably able--9 ! ab/ract--to ex]cise ! same good s5se at a p>ty4 ,b ! conditions are *ang$ to ! eye ( ! onlook]4 ,! girl :o w5t to ! (fice we>+ ! %ield & armor ( h] "w1 n[ appe>s 9 society )\t t %ield4 ,to ! obs]v] %e diff]s 9 no wise f ! bank]'s daught]1 :o toils n4 ,l ! latt]1 %e ne$s on social occasions ! wat*ful *ap]onage t %\ld be giv5 to all "y girls 9 ^! conditions4 ,! woman :o is 9 society at all mu/ con=m to its conv5tional laws1 or lose ca/e 9 proportion to h] defiance ( ^! laws4 ,%e _c defy !m )\t los+ ! dignity & exclusiv5ess t *>act]ize a well-br$ woman1 & )\t seem+ to drift into ! c>eless & d\btful mann]s ( ,bohemia4 ,! fairy-/ory sugge/s ! pr9ciple2 ,c9d]ella c\ld "w alone 9 ! du/ & a%es undi/urb$2 b ! fairy-god-"m mu/ ne$s accompany h] :5 %e w5t to ! ball4 ,9 ! be/ circles ev]y:]e1 at home & abroad1 e "y girl dur+ h] fir/ ye>s 9 society is *ap]on$4 ,t is to say1 on all =mal social occasions %e appe>s "u ! wat* & w>d ( an old] woman ( "* & /&+--h] "m1 or ! "m's repres5tative4 ,! "y woman's calls are made1 & h] visits receiv$1 9 ! company ( ?is gu>dian ( ! proprieties2 & %e att5ds ! !atre or o!r places ( amusem5t1 only "u ! same safe conduct4 ,society to ! "y girl is ,may-fair4 ,) ! happy future veil$ j beyond1 %e goes to meet a possible romance1 & to trav]se a circle ( ev5ts t may haply r\nd up 9 a w$d+-r+4 ,x is ( ! utmo/ importance t %e %all n be left at ! m]cy ( accid5tal meet+s1 indiscreet judgm5ts1 & ! he$less impulses ( inexp]i5c$ y\?1 :i* may effectually blight h] future 9 its bud4 ,a p>5t or gu>dian does a girl incalculable injury 9 all[+ h] to ent] ^u society life )\t *ap]onage1 & ! unremitt+ wat*-c>e & control :i* only a discreet1 mo!rly woman c give to girlhood4 ,m5 respect ! *ap]on$ girl4 ,honorable m5 respect h] z some?+ t is wor? tak+ c>e (2 m5 :o are n honorable respect h] z some?+ ) :i* !y d>e n be unduly famili>--?\gh !y acc\nt x sm>t to be hail fell[ well met ) ! girl :o ignorantly goes ab\t unatt5d$1 or ) o!r un*ap]on$ girls1 on social occasions4 ,a girl mu/ h an unusual measure ( native dignity1 z well z native innoc5ce1 always to escape ! disagreeable infliction ( ei!r fre% or blase imp]t95ce1 if %e has no "m's w+ to flutt] "u4 ,?is absolute condition ( *ap]onage exi/s dur+ ! novitiate ( ! "y society woman4 ,! requirem5t gr[s less & less rigid z ! "y woman gr[s m & m exp]i5c$1 & le>ns to meet social em]g5cies = h]self4 ,t delicate ignor+ ( a woman's age :i* is %[n 9 call+ h] a girl until %e is m>ri$ also p]mits h] to be a *ap]on$ memb] ( society until t ev5t4 ,b :5 obvi\sly pa/ h] y\?1 x is no long] requir$ t %e %all we> ! demeanor ( a debutante4 ,nor does propriety dem& h] "m's con/ant pres5ce1 :5 ye>s ( tra9+ h taught ! daught] h] "m's discretion1 & :5 ! "m's own s]5e dignity looks out ( ! daught]'s eyes4 ,we are pr\d ( ! ideal ,am]ican girl4 ,i mean ! "o :o is ess5tially a lady1 :e!r ri* or poor1 ! "o ^: /]l+ good s5se is equal to h] em]g5cies2 ! "o :o is self-reliant )\t be+ bold1 firm )\t be+ ov]be>+1 bra9y )\t be+ mascul9e1 /rong ( n]ve--b yet a woman4 ,let h] be equipp$ = ! battle ( life1 :i* 9 our /ate ( society s _m girls are fight+ s+le-h&$4 ,in/ruct h] 9 bus9ess pr9ciples2 tea* h] to use ! discretion ne$$ to move safely along ! cr[d$ ?or\ghf>e & to foll[ ! r\t9e ( ! (fice or ! /udio1 tru/+ t ) busy head & busy h&s %e may be safe :]ev] duty leads h] tireless feet4 ,b 9 h] h\rs ( social recreation1 :5 %e w meet & solve ! vital problems ( h] own p]sonal life1 %e ne$s a subtle some?+ m2 ! "m's wisdom to supply ! defici5cies ( h] inexp]i5ce1 ! "m's love to enfold h] 9 unspok5 sympa?y1 ! "m's approbation to re/ ^u h] dutiful conduct l a b5$iction4 ,let no "y girl reg>d ?is wat*-c>e z a trammel plac$ on h] covet$ lib]ty4 ,on ! contr>y1 %e w f9d t %e has f> m social fre$om ) ! c\nt5ance ( h] "m's pres5ce ?an %e c\ld h )\t x4 ,& 9 aft] ye>s1 :5 h] life has develop$ safely & happily "u ?is discreet lead]%ip1 %e w look back to h] debut1 & h] fir/ seasons 9 society1 ) pr(\nd gladness t--?anks to somebody wis] ?an h]self--%e has escap$ ! follies t h 9 m or less measure injur$ ! prospects ( h] "y fri5ds :o 7 too indep5d5t to submit to ! re/ra9ts ( *ap]onage1 & :o1 = lack ( x1 to-day f9d !mselves to a relative ext5t depreciat$ 9 social e/imation4 ,,greet+s4 ,,recognitions4 ,,introductions4 ,! prov]b1 ,! beg9n+ is half ! battle1 applies 9 a multitude ( ways4 ,9 ! fir/ in/ant ( a greet+ betwe5 two p1 ! gr\nd ^u :i* !y meet %\ld be indicat$4 ,cordiality1 res]ve1 di/ru/1 confid5ce1 caution1 condesc5sion1 def]5ce--:atev] ! real or ! assum$ attitude may be1 %\ld be %[n unmi/akably :5 eyes meet & heads b5d 9 ! c]emony ( greet+4 ,to put into ?is initial mann] ! ess5ce ( ! mann] :i* "o *ooses to ma9ta9 ?r\gh\t is "o ( ! f9e t\*es ( diplomacy4 ,p fail to d ?is :5 _! effusively graci\s condesc5sion subsequ5tly develops into snobbi%ness1 or :5 an au/]e /iffness ( demeanor belies ! fri5dl9ess :i* !y really int5d to manife/4 ,! latt] fault is (t5 due to diffid5ce or awkw>d self-consci\sness2 ! =m] is usually traceable to ! caprice ( an undiscipl9$ nature1 & is a significant m>k ( ill-bre$+4 ,! vital "p ( a greet+ is 9 ! expression ( ! eyes4 ,?is is s ne>ly spontane\s t ! mo/ gu>d$ _c altoge!r veil ! _s t looks out ( ^! w9d[s ( ! s\l4 ,! /udi$ attitude & g5uflection fail to hide surl9ess or contempt2 & ho/ility1 bitt] & implacable1 may reveal itself by ! smold]+ sp>k ( ang] 9 ! eye1 & de/roy ! effect ( ! mo/ artful obsequi\sness ( mann]4 ,s9ce we _c control ?is "o impulsively-tru?ful m$ium ( expression1 x becomes a matt] ( policy z well z ( morals to h>bor no spirits ^: possession ( u w\ld be an unpleasant & inconv5i5t revelation4 ,next to ! eyes1 ! pose ( ! figure indicates ! s5tim5t ( ! mom5t4 ,arrogant assumption ( sup]iority may be read 9 ! exp&$ *e/1 ! /iff5$ neck1 & ! head ?r[n backw>d at a decid$ angle2 or1 subs]vi5t humility is se5 9 ! =w>d-b5d+ head & ! wilt$ droop ( ! %\ld]s4 ,& aga91 ! diff]5ce betwe5 a real humility & ! artificial def]5ce :i* gallantry prompts is easily detect$4 ,! gallant's head & %\ld]s are b[$1 b n 9 meekness1 = !re is a c]ta9 t5sion 9 ! controll$ muscles t sugge/s t he c /raight5 up at w1 :]eas ! really humble man appe>s to h no p[] to lift 8 b[$ head or equally droop+ _s4 ,! b5d+ ( ! head & trunk1 or ! b[1 is ! f9al & mo/ active expon5t ( ! _s ( ! greet+4 ,9 its degrees & gradations are m>k$ ! degrees ( def]5ce1 real or =mal4 ,! b[ beg9s at ! head1 & may obs]ve ! foll[+ gradations3 ,x may be an incl9ation ( ! head only1 diff]+ f a nod 9 ! dignity ( movem5t4 ,! incl9ation may ext5d to ! %\ld]s1 caus+ a slightly p]ceptible =w>d lean+4 ,?is incl9ation may cont9ue to ! wai/ l9e4 ,! extreme incl9ation b5ds ! entire trunk f ! hips4 ,! legs are /raight & ! feet ne> toge!r1 9 ! attitude ( position 9 free gymna/ics4 ,9 e b[1 ( :atev] gradation1 ! movem5t %\ld be sl[1 ! eye /eady1 ! face s]5e1 & ! :ole demeanor expressive ( polite int]e/ 9 ! object4 ,an av]t$ eye is disrespectful1 & sugge/s ins9c]ity or trea*]y4 ,n t x always means ei!r2 ! droop+ eyela% is affect$ by _m wom5 z gracefully expressive ( fem99e mode/y4 ,x may be coquetti%1 b !re is no?+ p>ticul>ly womanly 9 nev] look+ a man 9 ! eye4 ,se>* ! face t confronts y1 & le>n :at mann] ( man ?is is :om y are receiv+ into y\r company & fell[%ip4 ,if he quails "u ! inquisition1 s mu* ! worse = him4 ,if he is wor? look+ at1 x is a pity to miss ! sight4 ,moreov]1 we m ?an half suspect t a woman's face is m attractive if h] eyes occasionally look up cle>1 in/ead ( all[+ ! d[nca/ lids to hide all ( _! vivacity & expression4 ,! gayety or ! gravity ( ! c\nt5ance may s]ve to measure ! cordiality or ! res]ve :i* respectively di/+ui% two b[s--exactly alike z to movem5t1 & equally c\rte\s1 ! "o invit+ confid5ce1 ! o!r repell+ famili>ity4 ,! "t1 ! place1 & ! occasion1 & ! mutual relations ( p1 decide ! ess5tial "* ( ! appropriate b[4 ,x mu/ always be ! expon5t ( ! nature & disposition ( ! individual1 & ( 8 relation to ! p]son :om he greets4 ,no "o has precisely ! same mann] = any two p ( 8 acqua9tance--t is1 if he has any vital mann] at all4 ,we are to o!rs l>gely :at !y inspire u to be1 & only lifeless indiff]5ce r$uces mann] to "o same automatic manife/ation4 ,! life ( a social greet+ is 9 its exclusive _s1 & ?\gh ! v>iations ( outw>d mann] are difficult to trace1 x is a graceful & flatt]+ ?+ to make ?is specialty ( mann] felt 9 e greet+ ext5d$4 ,p]haps1 aft] all1 x is ! eye t controls ?is1 z ! _s )9 controls ! eye4 ,9 g5]al1 ! mann] ( a greet+ %\ld be optimi/ic1 free f ungraci\s suspicion1 & indicat+ a *e]ful will+ness to take p at _! be/2 & ev5 :5 mo/ /]nly =bidd+ intrusiv5ess1 x %\ld appe> t ! repulse is = good cause1 & is n m]ely ! expression ( a caprici\s & unf\nd$ arrogance4 ,! latt] quality1 q z (t5 z n1 *>act]izes ! mann] ( snobs t[>d p :o are inf9itely _! sup]iors 9 all t indicates "* & bre$+4 ,! curtsey--or c\rtesy--is a feature ( ! m9uet1 & reviv$ ) ! old-fa%ion$ dance4 ,x is a pretty bit ( old-"t grace1 & is appropriate 9 respond+ to =mal introductions & greet+s 9 ! draw+-room1 especially :5 pay+ respect to eld]ly p4 ,x is mo/ effective :5 execut$ 9 a co/ume ( volum9\s drap]ies4 ,x is a woman's c]emonial2 no man ev] curtseys4 ,! regulation b[ is ! only def]5ce t gracefully comb9es ) a dress suit4 ,! c\rtesy is a /rictly =mal obeisance1 & ! c\rtly rev]5ce :i* x embodies is some?+ m ab/ract ?an concrete1 n necess>ily inspir$ by ! p]son to :om its def]5ce is %[n4 ,l all greet+s ex*ang$ 9 ! mid/ ( cr[ds or 9 public places1 x is some:at imp]sonal 9 mann]4 ,p]sonal recognitions & di/9ctions are res]v$ = m private occasions4 ,"o's greet+s to fell[-gue/s at a reception are uni=mly affable1 irrespective ( p]sonal pref]5ces4 ,?\gh our de>e/ fri5d & our dire/ foe bo? be pres5t1 we mu/ n po9t$ly discrim9ate betwe5 !m2 we are n at lib]ty to use ! p>lors ( our ho/ = ei!r a lov]'s try/ or a duell+-gr\nd4 ,a gue/'s fir/ duty on ent]+ a p>lor or draw+-room is to pay 8 or h] respects to ! ho/ess & ! ladies :o are receiv+ ) h]4 ,g5tlem5 %\ld also make x a po9t to f9d ! ho/ z soon z possible1 & ext5d to him a simil> c\rtesy4 ,! ho/1 9 turn1 :5 n receiv+ =mally ) ! ho/ess1 roams at l>ge1 giv+ a hospitable greet+ to ea* lady among 8 gue/s4 ,9 ,am]ica1 :5 a lady & g5tleman meet1 aft] be+ duly introduc$1 x is ! lady's privilege to b[ fir/4 ,?is rule protects h] f ! intrusion ( an unwelcome acqua9tance4 ,b :5 ! acqua9tance is e/abli%$ & mutually agreeable1 ! rule is immat]ial4 ,9 g5]al1 ! eld] or ! m di/+ui%$ p]son b[s fir/4 ,b if ! "o :o = any reason w\ld be ! prop] "o to take ! initiative is kn[n to be ne>-sight$1 & liable to ov]look an acqua9tance un9t5tionally1 x is m polite = ! o!r p]son n to /& on c]emony4 ,x is int]e/+ to note t on ! cont95t ( ,europe ! rule reg>d+ recognitions is exactly rev]s$4 ,! subject b[s fir/ to ! k+1 ! c\rti] to ! lady2 def]5ce to a sup]ior1 r ?an social equality1 be+ express$ by ! b[4 ,"o ( ! moot que/ions ( ! day is1 ,:5 is x prop] to introduce p to ea* o!r8 ,! /ricte/ etiquette =bids casual social introductions1 or ! introduc+ ( any two p at any "t )\t ! cons5t ( bo? p>ties4 ,x is argu$ t p :o meet 9 a draw+-room z fell[-gue/s are introduc$1 by t m]e fact1 suffici5tly = ! social purposes ( ! h\r2 & !y may engage 9 conv]sation1 if !y *oose1 )\t ! lea/ hesitancy2 bo? und]/&+ t ?is int]*ange involves no acqua9tance beyond ! pres5t occasion4 ,by ?is arrangem5t an awkw>d sil5ce is av]t$1 & x c]ta9ly seems z if ! *ief argum5t 9 favor ( introduc+ p is met2 s9ce1 ) ! ro( z _! transi5t introduction1 !y are p]fectly at ease )\t p]sonal introductions4 ,:5 p are us$ to ?is idea x is altoge!r ! mo/ s5sible & agreeable solution ( ! "q2 b _m social assemblies demon/rate t a l>ge numb] ( p are yet wait+ to be introduc$1 & n )\t "s feel+ ( res5tm5t :5 ?is c]emony is neglect$4 ,let x be und]/ood t any "o is at lib]ty to speak to a fell[-gue/ )\t an introduction2 also1 t su* a talk does n w>rant any subsequ5t claim ( acqua9tance4 ,if 9 ! c\rse ( ?is impromptu *at mutual int]e/ is awak5$1 ei!r "o may lat] seek an introduction 9 due =m ?r\gh "s common fri5d4 ,on in=mal occasions1 :5 few gue/s are pres5t1 especially 9 c\ntry t[ns1 x may be m k9dly & social to give p]sonal introductions2 & ! good s5se ( ?is idea1 probably1 is f\nd$ on ! fact t "u ^! conditions a ho/ess c be reasonably sure t ! acqua9tance w be cong5ial4 ,to ! villag] _m ( ! extreme rules ( etiquette are unreasonable1 because ! conditions t en=ce !m 9 t[n life are n pres5t 9 ! life ( ! quiet hamlet4 ,! rule reg>d+ introductions is "o :i* mu/ be modifi$ to suit circum/ances4 ,x is "o ( ! cases :5 v>i\s delicate consid]ations may ju/ify exceptions4 ,! lady :o 9 h] city home introduces nobody1 may 9 h] c\ntry home introduce ev]ybody1 if t seems be/4 ,9 ! matt] ( delicate exceptions we obs]ve ! mo/ significant display ( tact4 ,:5 introductions are made1 g5tlem5 %\ld be pres5t$ to ladies1 y\ng] p to old] p1 etc4 ,! =mula = introductions may be abbreviat$ to a m]e ann\ncem5t ( ! two names3 ,mr4 ,smi?--,mrs4 ,jones--! pause & inflection fill+ ! ellipsis2 & really1 ^u ! tone & mann] dep5ds ! c\rtesy ( ! introduction s b>r5 ( phras+4 ,a =mal pres5tation is made 9 ?is =m3--,miss ,smi?1 all[ me to pres5t ,mr4 ,jones4 ,tact sugge/s t a ho/ess %all avoid br++ uncong5ial p toge!r2 b if ?is un=tunately happ5s ?r\gh ignorance or ?\ghtlessness1 tact ) equal urg5cy requires t ! gue/s ?us inauspici\sly m+l$ %all n all[ any "o1 n ev5 ! ho/ess h]self1 to discov] ! mi/ake4 ,! same rule :i* all[s p]fect /rang]s to be agreeably social = an h\r1 & !n "p z /rang]s yet1 c]ta9ly w grant to enemies a simil> privilege4 ,! woman :o consci5ti\sly1 & p]fectly1 hides h] p]sonal animosities r ?an m> ! h>mony ( ! social circle1 is do+ h] "p to keep ! _w 9 tune4 ,! (f] ( ! social "r h& ( fell[%ip is a tacit recognition ( equality4 ,h&-%ak+ is said to be an ,am]ican habit4 ,c]ta9ly ! social conditions 9 a republic are favorable to su* a cu/om4 ,x is a pity t a mode s adapt$ to express ! w>m? & loyalty ( fri5d%ip %\ld be indiscrim9ately employ$ 9 casual greet+s4 ,! pressure ( ! h& %\ld mean m ?an x c mean1 :51 z n[1 x is be/[$ ) equal alacrity on life-long fri5d & rec5t acqua9tance4 ,fa/idi\s & s5sitive p are r cons]vative 9 h&-%ak+4 ,etiquette all[s consid]able latitude4 ,x is prop] & graceful1 b n requir$1 = two m5 to %ake h&s :5 introduc$4 ,a lady does n usually %ake h&s ) a new acqua9tance1 unless ! circum/ances ( ! introduction make h] responsible = all[+ special cordiality1 z :5 a p]son is introduc$ to h] 9 h] own h\se4 ,a ho/ & ho/ess %ake h&s ) a gue/2 !y may omit to %ake h&s ) ! same p]son :5 !y meet him else:]e4 ,:atev] "o's p]sonal impulse1 x is polite to def] to ! evid5t pref]5ce ( ano!r2 & to %ake h&s he>tily if a h& is cordially ext5d$1 or to refra9 f pr(f]+ ! h& :5 res]ve is evid5t 9 ! mann] ( ! o!r p]son4 ,h&-%ak+ z a conv5tional c]emony %\ld be z imp]sonal & z void ( significance z possible4 ,! clasp ( ! h& %\ld be firm b brief2 n ha/y1 yet n prolong$2 & ! f+]s %\ld relax & loos5 _! hold at once1 n dropp+ li/lessly1 nor reta9+ a l+]+ pressure4 ,:5 a lady gives h] h& to a gue/ %e expects to get x back aga9 almo/ imm$iately1 & 9 an uncru%$ condition4 ,to hold ano!r's h& until he or %e is consci\s ( ! deta9+ grasp is a lib]ty t only tru/$ fri5ds may take4 ,at ! same "t1 a he>ty mann] ( greet+ may be ! fa%ion 9 "s places2 & to meet x o!rwise ?an *e]fully w\ld seem *urli%1 accord+ to local /&>ds4 ,x is always well-br$--z well z politic--to con=m to local cu/oms s f> z is consi/5t ) dignity4 ,ano!r cu/om1 gradually go+ out1 is ! woman's fa%ion ( kiss+ effusively ea* woman-fri5d ( h] acqua9tance4 ,?is s5seless habit has no excuse = be+4 ,:5 kiss+ is ! language ( impulsive affection1 etiquette has no?+ to say ab\t x except to dem& t ! g5]al public %all n be call$ ^u to witness ! c]emony4 ,public ?or\ghf>es & ?rong$ social assemblies we n ! prop] places = su* demon/rations4 ,no?+ is less int]e/+ ?an o!r p's kisses1 unless x be ! gu%+ recital ( private affairs ) :i* ^! ungu>d$ p also ent]ta9 e /rang] )9 e>%ot4 ,:5 sc5es l ^! are obs]v$ at railroad /ations & on bo>d ( tra9s :5 demon/rative leave-tak+ is 9 progress1 we may =give ! exhibition s9ce ! circum/ances w>rant m ?an usual impulsiv5ess & =getfulness ( surr\nd+s4 ,b :5 ! mo/ common-place meet+ ( acqua9tances1 :o see ea* o!r e day1 is att5d$ ) ^! ph5om5a1 etiquette1 z well z common-s5se1 ent]s a sev]e prote/4 ,! kiss1 :i* %\ld be ! mo/ exclusive symbol ( fri5d%ip1 becomes ! mo/ insignificant =m ( greet+4 ,x is n prop]1 accord+ to /rict etiquette1 to give ! kiss ( greet+ 9 public places2 b :5 ne> relatives or *]i%$ fri5ds d *oose ?us to greet ea* o!r1 ! kiss %\ld be ex*ang$ unobtrusively & ) dignity2 conv]sation on private matt]s %\ld be conduct$ 9 subdu$ tones1 & a well-br$ gravity--q consi/5t ) *e]fulness--%\ld *>act]ize ! mann]4 ,x w\ld be well if e p]son 9 society %\ld regi/] a solemn resolution nev] to kiss anybody unless prompt$ to d s by ! irresi/ible impulse ( affection4 ,x is safe to say t n9e-t5?s ( ! kisses ( social greet+ w\ld be disp5s$ )4 ,! quality ( ! rema9+ t5? w\ld d\btless be proportionately improv$4 ,,behavior ,,9 ,,public ,,?or\ghf>es ,p und]/& & make all[ances = _m ?+s t1 to say ! lea/1 are ?\ghtless 9 ! behavior ( p :om !y "k well4 ,n s ! g5]al public1 :i* measures e man's conduct by ! /rict law ( propriety1 & accr$its him ) s mu* intellig5ce & ref9em5t z 8 mann]s display--no m4 ,&1 happily1 no less2 = ?is g5]al public is a dispassionate critic on ! :ole1 & if x sev]ely condemns our faults1 x has no grudge aga9/ u to keep x f equally appreciat+ our m]its4 ,a reg>d = appe>ances is--& %\ld be--a lead+ consid]ation :5 ord]+ "o's conduct 9 public4 ,x is n en\gh t we "k ourselves to be above reproa*2 we mu/ take c>e t ! /rang] :o obs]ves u gets no impression to ! contr>y4 ,fri5ds :o "k h] irresi/ibly mir?ful disposition1 may excuse ! girl :o laughs boi/]\sly on ! /reet-c>2 b %e w n be able to expla9 to ! sev]e-look+ /rang] opposite t %e did n d ?is to attract att5tion4 ,conduct 9 public %\ld be *>act]iz$ by res]ve4 ,! prom5ade1 ! corridors ( public build+s--po/-(fice1 railway /ations1 etc4--! elevators & arcades ( build+s devot$ to %ops & (fices2 museums & picture-gall]ies1 ! foy] ( ! !atre1 & ! read+-rooms ( public libr>ies may all be reg>d$ z ?or\gh f>es1 :]e ! g5]al public is our obs]vant critic4 ,greet+s betwe5 acqua9tances casually meet+ 9 su* places %\ld be quiet & conv5tional2 fri5ds %\ld avoid call+ ea* o!r by "n1 & conv]sation %\ld be conf9$ to su* rem>ks z "o does n object to h accid5tally ov]he>d4 ,subdu$1 b natural1 tones ( voice %\ld be us$1 & ! mann] %\ld be p]fectly op5 & above bo>d4 ,cauti\s :isp]+ is conspicu\s1 sometimes suspici\s1 & always ill-mann]$4 ,if confid5tial matt]s are to be discuss$1 ! (fice or ! p>lor is ! prop] place = ! conf]5ce4 ,:5 acqua9tances meet on ! prom5ade1 recognitions are ex*ang$ by a slight b[1 ) or )\t a spok5 greet+4 ,on ! cr[d$ walk1 if two acqua9tances pass & re-pass ea* o!r sev]al times 9 ! c\rse ( ! same prom5ade1 x is n necess>y to ex*ange greet+s aft] ! fir/ meet+4 ,canes & umbrellas %\ld n be c>ri$ "u ! arm horizontally1 endang]+ ! eyes & ribs ( o!r p$e/rians4 ,a man1 :5 b[+1 lifts 8 hat 9 ! foll[+ in/ances3 ,:5 b[+ to a lady4 ,:51 walk+ ) a lady1 he b[s to ano!r man ( 8 acqua9tance4 ,:5 b[+ to an eld]ly man1 or a sup]ior 9 (fice4 ,:5 b[+ to a man :o is walk+ ) a lady4 ,:51 walk+ ) a lady1 he jo9s h] 9 salut+ any g5tlem5 ( h] acqua9tance1 b /rang]s to himself2 or1 :5 walk+ ) g5tlem51 he jo9s !m 9 salut+ a lady ( _! acqua9tance1 b a /rang] to himself4 ,:5 (f]+ any civility 7z a seat 9 ! /reet-c>71 to a lady1 :e!r a /rang] or an acqua9tance4 ,:5 bidd+ good-bye to a lady aft] an op5-air conf]5ce1 :5 ! hat has be5 worn4 ,punctili\s etiquette requires a man to /& ) head uncov]$ 9 ! pres5ce ( ladies1 until reque/$ to replace ! hat4 ,b 9 our *angeable climate1 ! risk ( tak+ cold sugge/s ! good s5se ( we>+ ! hat out-(-doors1 & all[+ ! graceful lift+ ( ! same at greet+ & p>t+ to express all ! def]5ce t ! uncov]$ head is meant to symbolize4 ,! great] ! cr[d1 ! %ort] ! range at :i* greet+s are ex*ang$4 ,"o might halloo to an old acqua9tance =ty rods di/ant1 d[n a c\ntry lane2 b on ,broadway he b[s only to ! ones :om he meets po9t blank4 ,if two fri5ds meet & pause to %ake h&s1 !y %\ld /ep aside f ! ?rong1 & n blockade ! sidewalk4 ,ladies %\ld make ^! pauses v brief1 & bew>e ( ent]+ into exhau/ive int]*anges ( family news4 ,two m5 may l+]1 if !y *oose1 & hold a few mom5ts' conv]sation4 ,b if a man meets a lady1 & wi%es to *at ) h]1 he %\ld1 aft] greet+ h]1 ask p]mission to jo9 h]1 & walk ) h] = a %ort di/ance2 he %\ld by no means deta9 h] /&+ on ! sidewalk4 ,he %\ld n accompany h] all ! way to h] de/9ation1 nor prolong su* a casual conv]sation beyond a few mom5ts4 ,he %\ld leave h] at a corn]1 & lift 8 hat respectfully z he bids h] good-bye4 ,if sev]al p walk+ toge!r on a sidewalk ( av]age wid? meet o!r gr\ps ( prom5ad]s1 bo? p>ties %\ld fall into s+le l9e z !y pass1 all[+ ea* gr\p a fair %>e ( ! walk4 ,?is is especially incumb5t :5 on a n>r[ cross+4 ,x is v rude = gr\ps ( ?ree or m to walk abrea/ )\t he$+ ! p :om !y meet1 & (t5 cr[d+ ! latt] (f ! curb/one4 ,"y girls are sometimes v ?\ghtless 9 ?is matt]4 ,turn to ! "r1 z ! law directs is an injunction t holds good = ! cr[d$ sidewalk4 ,if "o1 walk+ briskly1 ov]takes sl[] walk]s ahead1 & ! cr[d all[s no space to get pa/ !m1 "o %\ld wat* = a *ance to slip ?r\gh a gap 9 ! phalanx1 r ?an elb[ ?r\gh4 ,if no *ance seems likely to occur1 & ha/e is imp]ative1 a polite man has no rec\rse b to /ep outside ! curb & walk rapidly ahead1 return+ to ! sidewalk a few paces 9 advance4 ,a lady simil>ly hurri$ may slip ?r\gh a small space1 if "o (f]s1 ) an apologetic ,i beg p>don4 ,b 9 no case %\ld pu%+ be resort$ to4 ,x is v unmann]ly = a p>ty ( loit]]s to /r+ !mselves ?us across ! wid? ( a sidewalk1 & !n saunt] sl[ly1 reg>dless ( ! fact t !y are imp$+ ! progress ( busi] p4 ,a policeman %\ld call _! att5tion to ! fact4 ,if ! sidewalk is block$ by an ord]ly cr[d1 z x frequ5tly is on ! occasion ( p>ades & o!r public demon/rations1 a man may pu% 8 way ?r\gh g5tly1 say+1 ,i beg p>don to ^? :om he is compell$ to jo/le4 ,! f9e bre$+ ( a g5tleman nev] %[s m conspicu\sly ?an 9 8 mann] ( gett+ ?r\gh a cr[d4 ,! beauty ( x is1 or1 p]haps1 ,i might say1 ! utility ( x is1 t c\rtesy 9 su* a case is v mu* m effective ?an bluff1 = ! majority 9 an ord]ly cr[d are incl9$ to be oblig+1 & quickly respond to a good-humor$ reque/2 :]eas1 if "o aggressive elb[ beg9s to pu%1 a hundr$ o!r elb[s are set rigidly akimbo1 & ! solid mass becomes t5-fold m unyield+ ?an be=e4 ,if acco/$ by a /rang] ) a reque/ = in=mation z to /reets1 directions1 etc41 "o %\ld k9dly reply1 &1 if n able to give ! desir$ in=mation1 %\ld1 if possible1 direct ! /rang] :]e to make fur!r inquiries4 ,*e]ful int]e/ 9 ! p]plexities ( a bewild]$ soj\rn] 9 ! city co/s no?+ & is always highly appreciat$4 ,only a pessimi/ or a snob w\ld dismiss su* a "q curtly4 ,if a lady's dress has be5 torn1 or trimm+ or braid ripp$ & left trail+ aft] contact ) ! nails 9 a pack+-box on ! sidewalk1 or f "s simil> accid5t1 x is polite to call h] att5tion to ! disa/]4 ,a g5tleman may d ?is ) p]fect propriety if he sees t %e is n aw>e ( x4 ,he %\ld preface ! in=mation ) ,p>don me1 & %\ld lift 8 hat1 z always :5 (f]+ any civility4 ,:5 att5d+ to bus9ess at banks1 po/-(fice1 railroad ticket-(fices1 etc41 "o %\ld pay no att5tion to o!r p1 fur!r ?an to gu>d aga9/ all[+ "o's absorb+ int]e/ 9 "o's own affairs to make "o reg>dless ( ! j rights ( o!rs 9 ! matt] ( turn at ticket or /amp w9d[s1 or 9 ! use ( ! public desk1 p5s1 etc4--trifl+ te/s ( good mann]s t di/+ui% ! well-br$1 & :i* illu/rate v po9t$ly ! tru? t selfi%ness is always vulg>1 & t an unfail+ habit ( consid]+ o!r p's com=t is a m>k ( g5tle bre$+4 ,a lady %\ld say ,?ank y to a g5tleman :o gives up a seat to h] 9 a /reet-c> or o!r public conveyance1 :]e1 hav+ paid = a seat1 he has a "r to x1 & 8 volunt>y rel9qui%m5t ( x is a matt] ( p]sonal c\rtesy on 8 "p4 ,! woman :o slides into a place ?us (f]$ )\t ackn[l$g+ ! obligation is v ?\ghtless1 or else %e has errone\s ideas ( h[ f> *ivalry is b\nd to be ! slave ( selfi%ness4 ,if ! lady is accompani$ by a g5tleman1 he1 too1 %\ld say ,?ank y1 & lift 8 hat4 ,he %\ld also be ?\ghtful n to take ! next vacat$ seat himself )\t fir/ (f]+ x to ! polite /rang]4 ,a "y woman1 /rong & well1 may prop]ly give up h] seat to a fragile woman1 or a "m ) a baby1 or to an eld]ly man or woman4 ,"y ladies ( leisure1 :o are n we>y1 %\ld n be too ready to ou/ tir$ cl]ks & labor+ m5 ^: ride home at six o'clock is _! fir/ *ance to sit d[n1 = t5 h\rs4 ,a g5tleman is *ivalr\s2 & !re is a corresponsive quality 9 a lady1 :i* makes h] delicately s5sitive ab\t unju/ly impos+ on t *ivalry1 or :i*1 9 em]g5cies ( sickness or disa/]1 enables h] to be ! *ivalr\s 9 _s1 & be> on h] sl5d] %\ld]s ! burd5 t is tempor>ily dropp$ :5 "s /roke ( ,provid5ce lays ! /rong man l[4 ,on ! o!r h&1 !re are wom5 ( co>se fibre1 :o imag9e t !y va/ly increase _! own importance by be+ selfi%ly exact+ 9 ! matt] ( m5's self-sacrific+ att5tions4 ,!y may br[beat ! m5 :o are 9 _! p[]2 b1 outside ( ?is n>r[ _w ( _! own1 !y are held 9 ?or\gh contempt by ! v m5 ^: admiration !y _h hop$ to ga9 by _! aggressive & ill-temp]$ dem&s4 ,m5 :o smoke on ! /reet %\ld avoid ! cr[d$ prom5ade1 :]e ladies mo/ d congregate2 s9ce x is ne>ly impossible to avoid annoy+ "s "o ) ! smoke4 ,9 mo/ t[ns1 ! ,bo>d ( ,heal? ord9ance =bidd+ spitt+ on floors1 sidewalks1 etc41 is n only a hygi5ic safe-gu>d1 b a mu* ne$$ en=cem5t ( good mann]s4 ,comm5t is sup]flu\s4 ,bas$ ^u an idea borr[$ f old5 days--t ! "r arm1 ! sword arm1 %\ld be free = def5se--a cu/om =m]ly prevail$ = a man1 walk+ ) a lady1 to place h] always at 8 left side4 ,!n lat]--also ) "s idea ( %ield+ h] f dang]--x 0 ! cu/om = a man to walk next to ! curb/one1 :e!r x happ5$ to be left or "r4 ,?is is /ill ! rule1 unless ! sidewalk is cr[d$2 9 :i* case a man walks at ! side next ! oppos+ ?rong1 9 ord] to %ield a lady f ! elb[s ( ! pass]s-by4 ,au?orities are divid$ on ! subject ( elevator etiquette1 "s d5\nc+ 9 r\nd t]ms ! man :o is s rude z to keep 8 hat on 9 an elevator :]e !re are ladies2 argu+ t ! elevator is a little room1 an int]ior1 n a ?or\ghf>e4 ,o!rs are equally emphatic 9 ass]t+ t ! elevator is a ?or\ghf>e1 m]ely2 & t hats are n to be remov$1 except "u ! same conditions t w\ld call = _! removal 9 ! /reet--z ! greet+ ( acqua9tances1 or ! ex*ange ( civilities4 ,! good s5se ( ?is view is app>5t4 ,a hat held 9 ! h& 9 a cr[d$ elevator is sure to be 9 ! way1 & liable to be cru%$4 ,a g5tleman :o wi%es to compromise betwe5 /olid ignor+ ( ! ladies :o are /rang]s1 & sup]flu\s recognition ( _! pres5ce1 may lift 8 hat & replace x imm$iately1 :5 a lady ent]s ! elevator1 or :5 he ent]s an elevator :]e ladies already are4 ,su* a c\rtesy diff]s f a greet+ 9 ?is3 a /rang] (f]+ ?is elevator civility does n look at ! lady1 nor does he b5d 8 head2 & 8 lift$ hat is an imp]sonal tribute to ! sex4 ,a lady makes no response to su* a c\rtesy2 yet !re is 9 h] g5]al be>+ a subtle some?+1 h>d to describe1 b :i* e g5tleman w readily recognize1 t %[s :e!r or n %e obs]ves & appreciates 8 little act ( def]5ce4 ,! atmosph]e ( good mann]s may be z invisible z ! air ab\t u2 b we "k :5 we are brea?+ x4 ,dur+ a prom5ade 9 ! day-"t1 a lady does n take a man's arm unless %e is feeble f age or ill-heal?1 & ne$s ! support4 ,9 ! ev5+1 a g5tleman walk+ ) a lady may (f] h] 8 arm4 ,on no acc\nt %\ld a man take a woman's arm4 ,?is is a disrespectful fre$om1 t might be suppos$ to be ! specialty ( ! ru/ic beau1 if x 7 n s frequ5tly obs]v$ 9 city ?or\ghf>es4 ,! cut direct is ! rude/ possible way ( dropp+ an acqua9tance2 & is all[able only 9 ! case ( "s flagrant (f5d] :o des]ves public & m]ciless rebuke4 ,ord9>ily1 ! result s\ght--( end+ an undesir$ acqua9tance--is atta9$ by a p]si/5tly cold c\rtesy1 supplem5t$ by z mu* avoidance z possible2 drift+ ap>t1 n s9k+ ea* o!r's craft )\t w>n+4 ,z cr[ds are di/ract+1 & p b5t on _! own err&s are (t5 oblivi\s ( _! surr\nd+s1 x is q possible = a seem+ cut to h be5 an unconsci\s ov]sight4 ,:5 an acqua9tance seems n to see "o1 ?\gh close at baud1 x is possible t some?+ clos] yet to 8 consci\sness is absorb+ all 8 ?\ghts4 ,only cle> & unmi/akable evid5ce ( int5tion %\ld lead "o to inf] a slight4 ,x is n only m polite1 b m self-respect+1 to take (f5se sl[ly4 ,,9 ,,public ,,assemblies ,at ! !atre or op]a1 at conc]ts1 or popul> lectures1 at comm5cem5ts1 & o!r prosp]\s & happy public ent]ta9m5ts1 a c]ta9 gayety ( mann] may be 9 h>mony ) ! occasion2 b x %\ld be "u control1 a smil+ *e]fulness1 n a free-&-easy jollity4 ,be=e ! play1 or ! programme1 beg9s1 social conv]sation is usually all[able 9 quiet tones t d n di/urb ! surr\nd+ p4 ,a g5tle hum ( lively voices is n an unpleasant ov]ture on su* occasions4 ,b ! mom5t ! or*e/ra beg9s1 if at ! !atre1 or ! in/ant t ! meet+ is call$ to ord] by any initial feature ( ! programme1 sil5ce %\ld fall ^u ! assembly1 & n a :isp] be he>d4 ,polite att5tion %\ld be giv5 to ea* feature ( ! h\r4 ,programmes %\ld be fold$ & arrang$ = easy ref]5ce be=e ! ex]cises beg91 s t no ru/l+ ( pap]s %all m> ! effect ( ! music1 or int]f]e ) ! speak]s or li/5]s4 ,! noisy h&l+ ( programmes is a mo/ exasp]at+ exhibition ( ?\ghtlessness1 & c easily be avoid$ by a little caution4 ,x %\ld be acc\nt$ a matt] ( good =m n to be late 9 arriv+ at ! !atre1 op]a1 etc4 ,p sometimes ?9k t because _! seats are secur$ by _! ticket-c\pons1 x makes no diff]5ce :e!r !y are 9 _! places be=e ! curta9 rises or n4 ,b x is inconsi/5t = p :o w\ld be ?\ght to be well-mann]$1 to inflict on o!rs s mu* annoyance z is ! result ( com+ late & mak+ a commotion arrang+ seats1 etc41 aft] a drama is 9 progress1 or a lecture or conc]t begun4 ,:5 ?is happ5s1 x %\ld be ! r>e & unavoidable accid5t ( det5tion1 n ! habitual & p]haps ev5 o/5tati\s cu/om t x seems to be ) "s p4 ,! noise ab\t ! sw+-doors1 & ! ru/le 9 ! aisles1 ! bang+ ( h+$ seats1 & ! occasional p>ley ) ! u%]1 r5d] ! seats "u ! gall]ies practically valueless dur+ ! fir/ half ( ! p]=mance1 s9ce ! speak]s _c be he>d 9 ! mid/ ( ! confusion4 ,! s5se ( ! op5+ act be+ lo/1 ! entire play is m>r$ simply because =ty or fifty p are t5 or fifte5 m9utes late4 ,if manag]s w\ld comb9e & agree to ord] ! doors clos$ sev]al m9utes be=e ! p]=mance beg9s1 x w\ld soon rem$y ! tr\ble1 & a ho/ ( patrons w\ld applaud _! c\rse4 ,! mo/ aggravat+ ?+ ab\t annoyances ( ?is k9d is t !y are inflict$ by ! v few1 & suff]$ by ! v _m4 ,9 cr[d$ !atres & lecture halls1 heavy coats & wraps mu/ be dispos$ )9 ea* own]'s own t]ritory4 ,!y %\ld n lie ov] ! top ( ! seat or bulge ov] into ! adjo9+ seats to encroa* ^u o!r p4 ,nor %\ld ! own] ( a big ov]coat d\ble x up into a cu%ion & sit ^u x1 to raise himself six in*es high]1 to ! disadvantage ( ! p]son seat$ back ( him--a selfi% prep>ation to see ! sights :i* we sometimes obs]ve1 ev5 9 ! p>quet c5tre4 ,! fa%ion1 n[ almo/ univ]sal1 ( remov+ hats at all spectacul> ent]ta9m5ts1 does away ) :at 0 =m]ly a conspicu\s s\rce ( annoyance4 ,= a:ile ?is d[nfall ( view-ob/ruct+ mill9]y promis$ a squ>e deal to ! occupants ( ! back r[s4 ,b ( late vanity has re-ass]t$ itself 9 ! guise ( elaborate hair-dress+1 until ! aigrette & ! b[ h become z great an imposition z 0 _! pr$ecessor1 ! fl>+ hat4 ,?is evasion ( ! issue w be m difficult to control by public prohibition4 ,x rema9s = ! polite woman to avoid adopt+1 = su* occasions1 ! t[]+ head-dress t evokes n admiration b execration f ! p seat$ beh9d h]4 ,no woman ne$ risk annoy+ o!rs 9 ord] to be attractive h]self2 !re are num]\s /yles t are bo? unobtrusive & becom+4 ,moreov]1 ! woman 9 good society has ample opportunity to exhibit h] elaborate coiffure at private social functions4 ,p :o wi% to leave ! !atre betwe5 ! acts %\ld make x a po9t to secure end seats & n scrape pa/ half a doz5 o!r p ?ree or f\r times dur+ ! p]=mance4 ,if x is necess>y to tr\ble o!r p to rise & /ep aside to all[ "o to take or to leave 8 seat1 ! p]son ?us oblig$ %\ld preface ! action ) ,i beg p>don1 or ,may ,i tr\ble y to all[ me to pass2--& %\ld ackn[l$ge ! obligation by say+ ,?ank y4 ,?is may n less5 ! inconv5i5ce to o!r p1 b x may mollify ! feel+ ( irritability t su* ?+s naturally ar\se4 ,x ought to be sup]flu\s to say t talk+ al\d1 or cont9u\s :isp]+ dur+ ! progress ( a play or op]a or conc]t1 usually on topics =eign to ! occasion1 is a rud5ess to ! p]=m]s & a bold imp]t95ce to ! re/ ( ! audi5ce4 ,"s p are guilty ( ?is insol5ce witt+ly & unblu%+ly4 ,= su* we h no ^w ( advice4 ,su* in/ances %\ld be met by some?+ m effective ?an g5tle influ5ce4 ,b _m1 especially "y p1 talk & laugh ?\ghtlessly1 & f m]e exub]ance ( animal spirits4 ,x is to be hop$ t on paus+ to reflect !y w c>efully avoid =m+ a habit ( public misbehavior t w ultimately rank !m 9 ! social scale z confirm$ vulg>ians4 ,an intellig5t li/5] nev] int]rupts4 ,betwe5 ! sc5es ( a play1 or ! successive numb]s ( a conc]t programme1 !re are pauses long en\gh = a brief ex*ange ( comm5t betwe5 two fri5ds :o are %>+ an ent]ta9m5t1 & !y may enjoy ! pleasure ( ?us comp>+ notes )\t once di/urb+ ! ord] ( ! "t & place4 ,at a spectacul> ent]ta9m5t1 x is v rude = ^? 9 front to /& up 9 ord] to see bett]1 ?us cutt+ (f all view = ^? back ( !m4 ,! disposition to d ?is is v /rong 9 rural audi5ces1 :]e ! flat floor ( ! s*ool-h\se or hall gives little *ance = ! obs]v]s seat$ back ( ! fir/ few r[s4 ,b "o may bett] lose "p ( ! tableau on ! /age ?an to furni% ano!r "o on ! floor ( ! h\se4 ,at a lecture1 a special p]sonal respect is due to ! speak]4 ,?is is %[n by a c\rte\s att5tion & a g5]al demeanor ( int]e/ & appreciation4 ,if applause is m]it$1 x %\ld be giv5 9 a ref9$ mann]4 ,! /amp+ ( ! feet is co>se1 & ! p\nd+ ( ! floor ) canes & umbrellas is z lazy z x is noisy4 ,! clapp+ ( h&s is a natural language ( delight1 &1 :5 skillfully done1 is an en?usia/ic expression ( approbation4 ,"s ef=t is be+ made to sub/itute ! wav+ ( h&k]*iefs z a symbol ( approval or greet+ to a favorite speak]1 b x is q probable t ?is sil5t signal w n take ! place ( ! m active demon/ration ( clapp+ ! h&s1 except on v quiet & intellectual occasions4 ,%all ladies jo9 9 applause8 ,z a matt] ( fact1 wom5 seldom applaud1 b n because propriety necess>ily =bids2 x is *iefly because ! tight-fitt+ kid glove r5d]s clapp+ a me*anical impossibility4 ,fem99e en?usiasm is q equal to x at times1 z1 = in/ance1 :5 li/5+ to a favorite elocutioni/ or viol9i/4 ,!re is no reason :y ladies may n clap1 if !y c4 ,x c]ta9ly is q z lady-l & ord]ly z = !m to give v5t to _! en?usiasm1 z _m d1 9 audible exclamations ( ,too sweet = any?+6 ,j too lovely6 etc41 all ( :i* might h be5 conduct$ (f at ! f+]-tips if h&-clapp+ _h be5 a feasible m$ium ( expression4 ,applause may be a v effective & graceful expon5t ( g5tlemanly appreciation if giv5 ) discrim9ation2 b if too ready & frequ5t1 x ceases to h any po9t1 & becomes commonplace4 ,:ile a man ( ta/e w applaud he>tily on occasion1 he w refra9 f extravagant & cont9u\s clapp+4 ,! obs]vance ( ! proprieties ( "t1 place1 & occasion are n[h]e m urg5t ?an at *ur*4 ,mu* ( ! lib]ty t is grant$ on secul> occasions is entirely out ( place 9 *ur*4 ,:ile quiet greet+s may be ex*ang$ at ! *ur* door1 or 9 ! out] ve/ibules1 be=e & aft] s]vice1 x is n decor\s to *at sociably along ! aisles1 or hold a gossip+ conf]5ce 9 :isp]s ) "s "o 9 ! neighbor+ pew4 ,i h 9 m9d "o woman1 :o ought to h kn[n bett]1 ^: sibilant utt]ances--j five pews di/ant--came to be a regul> "p ( ! five m9utes' pause imm$iately be=e ! s]vice began4 ,h] conv]sation 0 usually direct$ to ano!r woman1 :o1 likewise1 %\ld h kn[n bett] ?an to li/54 ,! sil5t vault ( ! *ur* ro( e*o$ to ! vigor\s :isp]+ up to ! in/ant t ! cl]gyman began1 9 l[ monotone1 ,! ,"l is 9 ,8 holy temple--a fact :i* ! :isp]] _h obvi\sly =gott5--let all ! e>? keep sil5ce be=e ,him--an injunction :i* %e nev] seem$ to be able to rememb] f week to week4 ,x is "o ( ! wor/ violations ( good =m to behave ) levity 9 *ur*4 ,to dev\t p ! *ur* is ! place = m$itation & pray]1 & no?+ %\ld be all[$ to di/urb ! re/ful calm t is s\ght )9 its sacr$ walls4 ,a well-br$ agno/ic w respect ! religi\s s5tim5ts ( o!r p1 :atev] 8 own beliefs or disbeliefs 9 matt]s !ological4 ,if no high] law is recogniz$1 at lea/ e "o w reg>d ! etiquette ( ! case1 :i* requires t ! demeanor ( e "o )9 ! walls ( ! *ur* %all be rev]5t4 ,x is prop] to dress pla9ly & neatly = *ur*2 to ent] ! portal quietly1 to walk up ! aisle 9 a leisurely b direct way1 & be seat$ at once ) an air ( repose4 ,if cu%ions or books require re>rang+1 x %\ld be done ) z little ef=t z possible4 ,e movem5t %\ld be quiet1 & ! rattl+ ( fans & ( books 9 ! rack1 & fidget+ *anges ( position %\ld be avoid$4 ,! movem5ts 9 ris+1 sitt+1 & kneel+ %\ld be delib]ate en\gh = grace1 & cauti\s en\gh to av]t accid5ts1 l hitt+ ! pew-rail+s1 knock+ d[n umbrellas1 or kick+ ov] foot/ools4 ,no s\nds b ! inevitable ru/le ( g>m5ts %\ld att5d ! *anges ( po/ure dur+ ! s]vice4 ,n unfrequ5tly sev]al canes & z _m hymn-books clatt] to ! floor ) ea* rise ( ! congregation1 because ( somebody's n]v\s ha/e4 ,*ildr5 are (t5 responsible = ^! little accid5ts1 & ( c\rse are excusable1 b !y %\ld be e>ly taught to obs]ve caution 9 ^! little matt]s4 ,! cl]gyman %\ld h ! undivid$ att5tion ( 8 he>]s4 ,dur+ ! lesson & ! s]mon1 "o %\ld wat* ! face ( ! read]1 or speak]1 & give to ! m9i/] all ! inspiration t an e>ne/ exp\nd] may f9d 9 ! face ( an intellig5t li/5]4 ,x is probably ?\ghtless1 n int5tional1 disrespect--b /ill disrespect--= a p]son to sp5d s]mon "t /udy+ ! /a9$-glass w9d[s or ! symbolical fresco1 int]e/+ z ^! ?+s may be4 ,! s++ ( ! *oir may be good2 if s1 "o %\ld n li/5 to x ) ! air ( a connoisseur at a gr& conc]t4 ,or ! s++ may be v poor2 t fact %\ld n be emphasiz$ by ! sc[l+ c\nt5ance ( ! critic 9 ! pews4 ,a m9d absorb$ 9 true devotion does n measure *ur* s++ by secul> /&>ds4 ,! _s may be woefully lack+ 9 ! mo/ arti/ic r5dition3 x may be vitally pres5t 9 ! mo/ humble song ( wor%ip4 ,:ile we may ) righte\s indignation condemn ! sacrilege ( a spiritless or irrev]5t s++ ( ! sublime s]vice ( ! *ur*1 x is v bad =m to sne] at ! e>ne/ & s9c]e "w ( a *oir ^: limitations1 9 natural gifts or culture1 r5d] _! "w some:at commonplace4 ,x is good =m to respect all t is hone/ 9 religion1 & to res]ve %>p criticism = ! %ams & hypocrisies t ca/ discr$it on ! *ur*4 ,a regul> pew-own] 9 a *ur* %\ld be hospitable to /rang]s1 & *e]fully give !m a place 9 8 pew1 (f]+ !m books & hymnals1 & aid+ !m to foll[ ! s]vice if !y seem to be unaccu/om$ to its =ms4 ,at ! same "t x is only fair to say t ?is duty becomes a heavy tax on g5]osity & pati5ce :51 z 9 "s v popul> *ur*es1 a float+ cr[d ( sight-se]s ea* ,sunday invade ! pews1 to ! s]i\s discom=t ( ! regul> occupants4 ,p :o att5d *ur* z /rang]s %\ld rememb] t !y d s by c\rtesy ( ! regul> att5dants4 ,a broad view ( ! *ur* op5+ its doors to all ! _w is !oretically true1 b practically subject to provisos4 ,a *ur* visitor :o obs]ves mu* ! same c>e n to be intrusive :i* good =m w\ld require him to obs]ve if visit+ at a private h\se1 w usually be rew>d$ ) a polite welcome4 ,! /rang] att5d+ *ur* %\ld wait at ! foot ( ! aisle until an u%] conducts him to a seat1 z ! u%] w "k :]e a /rang] c be receiv$ ) lea/ inconv5i5ce to o!rs 9 ! pew4 ,! /rang] %\ld n take possession ( family hymn-books1 or fans1 or select ! be/ hassock1 or o!rwise appropriate ! com=ts ( ! pew1 unless invit$ to d s by ! own]1 ^: gue/ he is1 9 a s5se4 ,if att5tions are n %[n him1 he mu/ n betray surprise or res5tm5t1 nor look ar\nd speculatively = ! hymn-book t is n =?com+4 ,if ! s]vice is /range to him1 he %\ld at lea/ con=m to its sali5t =ms1 ris+ ) ! congregation1 & n sitt+ ?r\gh\t l a /olid spectator ( a sc5e 9 :i* he has no "p4 ,! head %\ld be b[$ dur+ ! pray]s1 & ! eyes at lea/ ca/ d[n1 if n clos$4 ,to sit & />e at a m9i/] :ile he is pray+ is a grotesque rud5ess wor?y ( a hea!n b>b>ian1 yet "o sometimes committ$ by ! civiliz$ ,caucasian4 ,! incid5t may escape ! k ( ! well-mann]$ portion ( ! congregation1 :o are !mselves b[$ 9 rev]5t attitude2 b ! rov+ eye ( "s infant discov]s ! fact1 & x is at once ann\nc$2 & wor/ ( all1 ! *ild unconsci\sly gets an influ5tial lesson 9 misbehavior 9 *ur* f ! important man :o ?us disreg>ds ! proprieties4 ,,be>+ ,,& ,,spee* ,physical culture may be a fad1 b its ae/hetic results are conc$$4 ,! graceful control ( ! body is ! basis ( a f9e mann]4 ,x is an op9ion ( long /&+ t *ildr5 %\ld be taught to dance 9 ord] to develop grace ( movem5t4 ,yet danc+1 m]ely1 gives b a limit$ tra9+ ( ! muscles comp>$ ) ! all-r\nd ex]cise n[ tak5 9 gymnasiums & classes = physical culture4 ,x is recomm5d$ t all :o are defici5t 9 mann]1 or :o suff] an emb>rass+ self-consci\sness because ( _! awkw>dness ( pose or movem5t1 %\ld take a c\rse ( tra9+ "u an intellig5t tea*]1 until e muscle le>ns its prop] (fice4 ,) ! self-comm& :i* ?is tra9+ gives1 ease ( mann] & dignity ( be>+ foll[ naturally2 to say no?+ ( ! s]5ity ( m9d t lies back ( all ?is pleas+ ext]ior4 ,! effect ( ?is bodily grace is to prepossess ! behold]4 ,fir/ impressions are receiv$ ?r\gh ! eye4 ,be=e a ^w is spok51 ! pose & c>riage convey a significant ann\ncem5t ( "* & bre$+4 ,a ?or\gh practical k ( elocution & con/ant application ( its pr9ciples to conv]sational utt]ances are requisite to ref9$ spee*4 ,errors 9 pronunciation1 ha/y & indi/9ct enunciation1 ! dropp+ out ( entire syllables 9 curt phras+1 are common faults ( c>eless p :o "k bett]1 & :o w\ld be v mu* *agr9$ to f9d !mselves acc\nt$ to be z ignorant z _! spee* might indicate !m to be4 ,a v>i$ vocabul>y us$ ) discrim9ation indicates intellig5ce & culture4 ,a s+le ^w utt]$ may reveal grace1 or betray awkw>dness4 ,9 ! social int]*ange1 "o mu/ n only suit ! action to ! ^w1 b equally suit ! ^w to ! action4 ,c>eless spee* (t5 belies civil int5tions4 ,say ,?ank-y1 n ,?anks1--a lazy & disrespectful abbreviation4 ,if y say ,p>don me1 let y\r mann] indicate a dignifi$ apology4 ,i beg y\r p>don1 is sometimes only ! insol5t preface to a flat & angry contradiction4 ,9 mo/ phrases ( complim5t1 ! words d]ive _! real significance f ! mann] ( ! speak]4 ,!re is a diff]5ce ( op9ion z to :e!r p ( social equality %\ld add ,sir & ,ma'am to ! responses ,yes & ,no2 & especially1 :e!r *ildr5 %\ld be taught to d s4 ,! ,engli% fa%ion--l>gely copi$ by ,am]icans--does n favor x4 ,c]ta9ly1 *ildr5 c le>n to say ,yes & ,no ) ! c\rte\s mann] t implies all t ! add$ ,sir might convey4 ,b1 are n "s "y ,am]icans too ready to take advantage ( ?is p]mitt$ lapse ( v]bal def]5ce8 ,&1 back ( ! v]bal lapse is !re n a di/9ct lapse ( ! def]5ce itself8 ,x might be well to beg9 to c\nt]act ?is irrev]5t t5d5cy ( ! age1 by cultivat+ a m respectful & appreciative _s4 ,!n1 ! polite ^w w come spontane\sly to ! lips4 ,x w be a matt] ( morals1 ess5tially3 ( mann]s1 incid5tally4 ,deplorable z a he$less curtness ( spee* is1 x is h>dly m unpleasant ?an ! artificial m9c+ ( words t "s *ildr5 are drill$ into 7or le>n by imitation ( _! eld]s74 ,?is sup]ficial effusiv5ess1 suppos$ to be pretty mann]s1 is relat$ m to subjective vanity ?an to objective c\rtesy4 ,n all[$ to say ,sir1 !y sub/itute ! "n or title ( ! p]son address$1--:i*1 :5 introduc$ occasionally & unobtrusively1 is a graceful p]sonal recognition2 b :5 ov]done1 z too (t5 obs]v$1 ! con/ant it]ation ( ,yes1 ,mr4 ,br[n1--,no1 ,mrs4 ,black1 etc41 gr[s to be a madd5+ exposition ( precoci\s affectation4 ,hav+ obs]v$ ! vag>ies ( ?is fa%ion 9 phras+ = sev]al ye>s1 ,i h come to ! conclusion t ! pla9 ,sir ( =m] times1--:i*1 to ! well-br\ght-up *ild1 0 a practical application ( ! ,fif? ,comm&m5t1--is mu* to be pref]r$ to ! fussy elaboration ( p]sonal address t has sup]s$$ x4 ,indications at pres5t are1 t ! old-fa%ion$ ,sir & ,madam are com+ into _! own aga91 among truly c\rte\s p4 ,b :atev] ! fickle fa%ion ( ! h\r may be1 x is important to en=ce ! tru? t ! _s ( words & de$s is ! ess5ce ( good mann]s4 ,if ?is "r _s be lack+1 no words c fill ! blank4 ,if an ugly _s dwells )91 no ^w ( complim5t c veil its evil face4 ,b ?\gh ! good _s be !re1 ) all its g5]\s impulses & k9dly feel+1 x ne$s ! concrete expression2 o!rwise1 its v exi/5ce may rema9 unkn[n4 ,a man t ha? fri5ds mu/ %[ himself fri5dly4 ,pose1 be>+1 facial expression1 ! w9n+ smile1--all ^! are sil5tly eloqu5t2 b1 to convey ! p]fect message f s\l to s\l1 !re mu/ be add$ ! ^w fitly spok54 ,,self-,,comm& ,a !me = a volume6 ,briefly1 x is ! m>k ( a well-discipl9$ m9d to be able to meet all em]g5cies calmly4 ,?\gh *9a break1 & gravy spill1 ! ho/ess & ! gue/ mu/ n all[ ! accid5t to ruffle _! p]fect s]5ity ( mann]4 ,nor is x m]ely a po9t ( etiquette to be ?us self-controll$4 ,s]i\s accid5ts sometimes happ51 l ! ignit+ ( fancy lamp-%ades or filmy curta9s1 & !n ! calm poise ( a well-br$ man becomes ( practical value to himself & o!rs4 ,a habit ( keep+ cool--=m$ orig9ally = good mann]s' sake--may save "o's life 9 "s crisis ( dang]4 ,control ( temp] is "o ( ! mo/ valuable results ( tra9+ 9 ! etiquette ( calm behavior4 ,manife/ations ( ill-temp] may be ! occasional outbur/ ( a _s t dwells "u ! %ad[ ( an ance/ral curse1 b :i* 9 its bett] mom5ts grieves 9 sackclo? & a%es ov] its yield+ to wild1 ungov]nable impulse4 ,su* p are (t5 g5]\s & self-sacrific+ 9 ! ma91 ?\gh caus+ s mu* sorr[ & disa/] to o!rs by ^! occasional :irlw9ds ( passion4 ,9 all t delicacy ( feel+ & usual reg>d = ! am5ities indicate1 !y are well-br$4 ,to say t !y are n is z ung5]\s z to criticise ! conduct ( ! insane4 ,b habitual1 cold-blood$1 & willful ill-temp]--! trade-m>k ( unmitigat$ selfi%ness--is indisputably ill-br$4 ,:atev] ! t5d5cy1 temp]am5t1 or temptation1 good =m requires ! cultivation & ! exhibition ( good humor & a disposition to take a *e]ful & g5]\s view ( p & ?+s4 ,?is calm s]5ity does n mean weakness or moral c[>dice4 ,! dignity t =bids "o to be rude also =bids "o to endure insol5ce4 ,a g5tleman may sca! a li> 9 pla9 unv>ni%$ t]ms1 & yet n lose a p>ticle ( 8 own repose ( mann]2 & ! high] 8 own /&>ds are1 ! m m]ciless w be 8 d5unciation ( :at he holds to be des]v+ ( rebuke4 ,b ?r\gh x all1 he has 8 own _s well 9 h&1 "u curb & re94 ,! om9\s calm ( a well-br$ man is a t]ror to ! g>rul\s bully4 ,x is ! triumph ( m9d ov] matt]4 ,next to ! etiquette ( self-control--&1 if any?+1 h>d] to comply )--is ! etiquette ( =be>ance1 :i* is (t5 ov]look$2 = p :o h high /&>ds !mselves are apt to be intol]ant ( gross (f5d]s aga9/ social rules4 ,^? :o by inh]itance or by culture are bless$ ) a logical m9d & an equable temp]1 %\ld be l5i5t 9 judg+ crud] p1 ^: d5se ignorance aggravat+ _! malici\s int5t1 causes !m to d a/\nd+ viol5ce to ! pr9ciples ( morality & etiquette alike1 by exhibitions ( ugly temp]4 ,only by mak+ all[ances c ! conduct ( "s p be acc\nt$ less ?an crim9al4 ,let all reflect t x is impossible to be a lady1 or a g5tleman1 )\t g5tle mann]s4 ,a ,,few ,,po9ts ,,on ,,dress ,p]fect congruity is ! secret ( successful dress+4 ,! fir/ h>mony to be obs]v$ is t betwe5 ! dress & ! we>]'s purse4 ,good =m consid]s n m]ely :at c be paid = )\t go+ 9 debt1 b :at c be pur*as$ )\t cramp+ ! res\rces 9 "s o!r direction & de/roy+ ! prop] balance ( "o's exp5ditures4 ,! girl :o uses a mon?'s sal>y to buy "o f9e g[n1 & d5ies h]self 9 ! matt] ( ne$$ hosi]y to make up = ! extravagance1 is dress+ beyond h] means1 & is violat+ good =m 9 s do+4 ,a simple g[n t all[s = all suitable accessories is always lady-l4 ,! second po9t ( h>mony is ! appropriat5ess ( dress to ! occasion :5 x is worn4 ,d9n]s1 balls1 & =mal receptions are occasions t call = h&some dress4 ,?is may range 9 co/ to include "s v inexp5sive b arti/ic co/umes1 ! quality ( good /yle n be+ conf9$ to ! ri*e/ fabrics4 ,b ! inexp5sive g[n %\ld h a "* ( its own1 & n be suspect$ ( any attempt to imitate its priceless rivals4 ,! degree ( full-dress worn at d9n] v>ies ) ! =mality ( ! occasion & ! fa%ions prevail+ 9 ! social circle repres5t$4 ,on v gr& occasions a v ri* & /yli% co/ume may be requir$4 ,9 g5]al1 a lady we>s h] *oice/ silk or velvet g[n at a d9n]4 ,! intr9sic value ( ! fabric is m important 9 d9n] dress ?an 9 dress worn on o!r occasions1 s9ce ! company are few 9 numb] & ?r[n into close proximity1 :]e leisurely obs]vation & criticism are inevitable4 ,a g[n t w\ld pass mu/] 9 a cr[d1 may n /& ! calm scrut9y ( ! d9n]-table f\rte54 ,! /yle ( cut & ! trimm+s ( a d9n] g[n may be z sev]ely pla9 or z volum9\sly dressy z ! "* ( ! occasion & ! p]sonnel ( ! company may indicate & ! we>]'s in/9ctive s5se ( propriety may sugge/4 ,a ball or a =mal reception 9 ! ev5+ is a "t to display "o's prettie/ g[ns & all ! jewels :i* "o possesses4 ,fabrics ( inf9ite v>iety1 f velvet & brocade to diaphan\s tissues1 are suitable2 & ! possibilities 9 trimm+s1 9 lace & fl[]s & jewel$ ornam5ts1 are unlimit$4 ,9 ! fancy co/umes suitable = ^! %[y occasions !re is wide opportunity = ! +5i\s girl to make h]self bewit*+ )\t greatly deplet+ h] purse4 ,! mo/ becom+ly dress$ woman is n always ! mo/ exp5sively dress$4 ,g5]al effect /rikes ! eye ( ! obs]v] :o has n "t to /udy special quality 9 ! kaleidoscopic sc5e pres5t$ by ! ball-room or reception ?rong4 ,at an aft]noon tea1 ! ho/ess %\ld dress ri*ly en\gh = dignity1 b )\t o/5tation4 ,z on all occasions1 a woman %\ld nev] be ov]-dress$ 9 h] own h\se4 ,h] g[n %\ld n be s gorge\s t any "o ( h] gue/s1 ev5 ! poore/1 ne$ feel emb>rass$ by ! contra/4 ,if sev]al ladies jo9 ! ho/ess 9 receiv+1 !y we> h&some reception toilets4 ,o!r gue/s come 9 ord9>y walk+ dress1 b x %\ld be /yli% & well-kept4 ,a second-be/ g[n1 ?\gh neat en\gh = in=mal calls1 may n be elegant en\gh = a tea or = =mal visit+4 ,b if a lady's means are limit$1 & h] well-pres]v$ old g[n is ! be/ t %e c comm&1 p]fect neatness & a delicate disposal ( l+]ie w disguise ! ravages ( "t1 & make ! auld cla'es look a'mai/ z weel's ! new4 ,inde$1 effective dress+1 ultimately resolv$1 is a matt] ( ref9$ +5uity4 ,z ,david1 subtly endu$ ) p[]1 ) a smoo? /one f ! brook vanqui%$ ! armor-clad ,phili/9e giant1 s ! woman ) a g5ius = ! arti/ic details ( dress1 ev5 ?\gh x be a la/-ye>'s g[n1 may triumph ov] ano!r :o has bl9dly clad h]self accord+ to ! late/ conv5tional patt]n1 b )\t reg>d to :at is becom+ to h]self4 ,happy ! woman ^: bank acc\nt p]mits h] to give p]fect expression to h] ta/e4 ,n s happy1 b /ill happy1 ! woman ^: ta/e meets ! em]g5cy1 despite a sl5d] purse4 ,b oh6 mo/ mis]able ! woman ( /olid1 unimag9ative nature1 ^: luxuri\s w>drobe sugge/s no?+ b ! doll>-m>k4 ,n t ,i advance ! poetical idea ( sweet simplicity always & ev]y:]e4 ,n t ! ri* g[n is 9 itself objectionable1 or ! inexp5sive dress intr9sically beautiful4 ,x is n inv>iably true t beauty unadorn$ is mo/ adorn$4 ,x is n true t a simple calico is m *>m+ ?an a %e5y silk1 nor is cotton edg+ to be comp>$ ) po9t or du*ess lace4 ,b ! really beautiful 9 dress1 z be=e /at$1 lies 9 its p]fect congruity4 ,accord+ to ?is /&>d1 ! calico is sometimes m effective ?an ! silk1 & vice v]sa2 & nei!r is effective if worn at inappropriate times1 or "u unsuitable conditions4 ,fa%ion is d>+1 & e n[ & !n ann\nces "s />tl+ innovation 9 ! way ( gay /reet-dress4 ,b ! public s5tim5t ( ref9$ p is s def9itely fix$ 9 favor ( quiet dress = public ?or\ghf>es t ^! d>+ fa%ions soon become ! sole prop]ty ( ! ignorant class4 ,dress = *ur*1 or = bus9ess1 %\ld be pla9 9 design1 & subdu$ 9 color2 & = mo/ occasions :5 a lady walks to pay visits or calls1 a pla9 tailor-made co/ume is mo/ suitable4 ,c>riage dress may be gay] 9 colors1 & m dressy 9 /yle ( cut & trimm+s4 ,:5 a p>ty ( ladies att5d ! !atre1 unaccompani$ by a male escort1 or ) no conveyance b ! /reet-c>1 ord9>y walk+ co/ume1 ) quiet bonnets or hats1 is correct /yle4 ,box p>ties1 presumably arriv+ 9 c>riages1 may dress z prettily z !y *oose1 subject to ! g5]al laws ( ta/e4 ,a woman %\ld n mix up h] w>drobe1 & we> a !atre bonnet to *ur*1 or c>ry a coa*+ p>asol to a fun]al4 ,black1 or v subdu$ colors1 %\ld be worn to a fun]al4 ,any color1 except black1 may be worn by a gue/ at a w$d+4 ,black lace may be us$ 9 ! trimm+s ( ri*-color$ g[ns 7?\gh :ite lace is pref]able72 b solid black is n all[able4 ,wom5 :o are we>+ m\rn+ sometimes lay x aside to att5d a w$d+1 sub/itut+ a lav5d] or violet g[n1 or1 9 "s places1 a deep r$1 usually 9 "s ri* fabric1 z velvet or plu%4 ,! etiquette ( we>+ m\rn+ is less rigor\s ?an =m]ly4 ,! t5d5cy is m & m to leave ! matt] to individual feel+4 ,:5 ! m\rn+ g>b is adopt$1 ! p]iods ( we>+ are %ort]1 & ! phases ( *ange f heavie/ to lighte/ are few] & less punctili\s4 ,:e!r a full m\rn+ dress ( crepe be worn1 or n1 x is g5]ally conc$$ t x is m respectful to we> pla9 black ?an to appe> 9 colors dur+ ! mon?s imm$iately foll[+ ! dea? ( a ne> relative4 ,! l5g? ( "t t m\rn+ dress %\ld be worn is a matt] ( ta/e2 b x %\ld n be laid aside too soon1 z ?\gh ! we>+ 7 an unpleasant duty2 nor %\ld x be worn too long1 = ! sombre robe has a depress+ effect on o!rs1 especially invalids & *ildr54 ,^? :o pref] to foll[ a /rict law ( etiquette 9 m\rn+ w obs]ve ! foll[+ rules3 ,a wid[ we>s deep m\rn+ ( wool5 /uffs & crepe = two ye>s4 ,simil> m\rn+ is worn "o ye> = a p>5t1 or a bro!r or si/]4 ,= o!r ne> relatives1 f ?ree to six mon?s1 accord+ to degrees ( relation%ip1 is consid]$ a respectful p]iod = m\rn+4 ,a man's wife we>s ! same degrees ( m\rn+ = 8 ne> relatives t %e w\ld we> = memb]s ( h] own family4 ,9 all cases1 ! m\rn+ %\ld be light5$ by degrees4 ,pla9 black silk1 )\t crepe1 & trimm$ ) jet1 belongs to a second>y p]iod4 ,*anges are made gradually ?r\gh black & :ite comb9ations1 be=e colors are aga9 worn4 ,dur+ ! p]iod ( heavy m\rn+1 x is n prop] to att5d ! !atre or op]a1 or o!r gay place ( amusem5t2 nor to pay =mal visits1 or att5d receptions1 except x may be ! m>riage ( a ne> fri5d1 = :i* occasion ! m\rn+ dress is tempor>ily laid aside4 ,z a matt] ( respect1 no invitations ( a gay social "* are s5t to ! rec5tly afflict$4 ,aft] ?ree mon?s1 su* invitations may be s5t2 ( c\rse1 n ) any expectation t !y w be accept$1 b m]ely to %[ t1 ?\gh tempor>ily 9 seclusion1 ! b]eav$ ones are k9dly rememb]$4 ,= m5 ! etiquette ( m\rn+ is less conspicu\s b equally =mal z f> z x goes4 ,! p]iods ( we>+ m\rn+ are usually %ort] ?an ^? obs]v$ by wom5 9 simil> cases1 probably because ! life ( bus9ess m5 is n conf9$ to ! social _w1 & its re/rictions are less b9d+ ^u !m 9 details4 ,at ! fun]al ( a ne> relative1 a man we>s black1 includ+ gloves1 & a m\rn+ b& ar\nd 8 hat4 ,subsequ5tly he may cont9ue to we> black = sev]al mon?s1 or1 if ?is is n feasible1 ! hat-b& ( bombaz9e is acc\nt$ a suffici5t m>k ( respect4 ,! wid? ( ! b& may be graduat$1 sometimes cov]+ ! surface to )9 an in* ( ! top1 sometimes be+ only two or ?ree in*es wide4 ,z to ! etiquette ( m5's dress 9 g5]al1 ! tale is soon told4 ,! dress-suit is worn only at d9n] & 9 ! ev5+4 ,at any h\r aft] six o'clock1 a man may ) propriety appe> any:]e 9 a dress suit1 ?\gh x is requir$ only on =mal occasions4 ,be=e d9n]1 morn+ dress is worn--! frock coat1 or a bus9ess suit ) its f\r-button$ cut-away4 ,z to ! m9ute details ( cut & dim5sions1 ! prevail+ /yle ( l95 & ties1 etc4--v appropriately call$ notions--^! ?+s v>y f season to season4 ,! well-dress$ man w consult 8 tailor & furni%]4 ,hats1 boots1 & gloves1 ! extremes ( e p]fect co/ume1 are important expon5ts ( good /yle2 & c>eful att5tion to _! *oice & we>+ is ess5tial to complete & effective dress+4 ,,p]sonal ,,habits ,neatness 9 p]sonal habits is ! fir/ m>k ( good bre$+ t /rikes ! obs]v]4 ,n t a d&y is always a g5tleman2 b an habitual slov5 _c be4 ,! clo?+ worn at "w may be unavoidably soil$2 z also ! h&s1 :5 occupations involve ! h&l+ ( dirty sub/ances4 ,b a little wat] cle>s u ( ?is de$2 h[ easy is't !n6 ,! neatly-dress$ hair1 ! fre% clean sk91 ! well-kept tee?1 ! smoo? poli%$ nails1 ! spotless l95 & ! ta/eful tie1 ! well-bru%$ clo?+ & ! tidy boots1 are all po9ts ( good =m 9 p]sonal appe>ance4 ,! toilet once made %\ld be consid]$ f9i%$4 ,! h&s %\ld n /ray to ! hair to re-adju/ hair-p9s--an abs5t-m9d$ habit4 ,! n]v\s toy+ ) e>-r+s or broo*es1 or dress buttons1 is ano!r mann]ism to be gu>d$ aga9/4 ,! h&s %\ld le>n ! grace ( repose4 ,x is a great triumph ( n]v\s control = a woman to hold h] h&s /ill :5 !y are n def9itely employ$4 ,if ! attitudes ( sitt+ & /&+ are practic$ "u ! direction ( ! tea*] ( physical culture1 "o w probably be innoc5t ( su* solecisms z ?ru/+ ! feet out to display ! %oes2 sitt+ sideways1 or cross-legg$2 or slipp+ half-way d[n 9 ! *air2 or b5d+ ov] a book 9 r\nd-%\ld]$ position2 rock+ viol5tly2 beat+ a noisy tattoo ) impati5t toes2 or /&+ on "o foot ) ! body ?r[n out ( l9e1 etc41 etc4 ,scrat*+ ! head or e>s1 & pick+ ! tee?1 are op]ations t are prop]ly att5d$ to 9 "o's own dress+-room4 ,! conspicu\s use ( ! h&k]*ief is 9 bad =m4 ,bl[+ ! nose is n a pleasant demon/ration at any "t1 & at ! table is simply unp>donable4 ,a p]son ( fa/idi\s ta/e w take c>e ( ! nose 9 ! quiete/ & mo/ unobtrusive way1 & refra9 f disgu/+ o!r p ( fa/idi\s ta/e4 ,famili>ity bre$s contempt4 ,lay+ ! h& ^u ano!r's head or %\ld]1 cl++ to ! arms or ab\t ! wai/1 is a fre$om t only ne> relation%ip or close fri5d%ip w excuse4 ,among slight acqua9tances x is an unw>rantable lib]ty4 ,ev5 at ! impulsive s*ool-girl age "y ladies %\ld be taught to repel su* "u-br$ famili>ities4 ,,social ,,co-,,op]ation ,^? :o accept a social invitation virtually pl$ge !mselves to be> a "p 9 mak+ ! ent]ta9m5t an agreeable success4 ,:e!r "o's tal5t lies 9 conv]sation1 or music1 or 9 ! r>e gift = comm+l+ & promot+ h>monies 9 a social ga!r+1 he or %e %\ld feel b\nd to make "s ef=t to add to ! pleasure ( ! occasion4 ,"y m5 :o att5d private balls %\ld be oblig+ ab\t danc+1 & amiably assi/ ! ho/ess 9 f9d+ p>tn]s = ! %y or unattractive girls1 :o are liable to be neglect$ by selfi% "y p4 ,n to make an ef=t to contribute to ! success ( ! affair is a negative fault1 p]haps4 ,b :at %all we say ( ^? ^: influ5ce is positively adv]se8--^? :o att5d a p>ty ) curi\s eyes b5t ^u pick+ flaws1 & :o indulge 9 jeal\s depreciation2 or :o1 9 a _s ( social rivalry1 make a note ( po9ts1 ) a view to outdo+ ! ho/ess 9 ! ne> future4 ,su* a _s--& its pres5ce is n easily veil$--is a v]itable ,a*an 9 ! camp2 & a few su* rude p c poison ! atmosph]e ( an o!rwise g5ial reception4 ,v]ily1 !y h _! rew>d1 = ! /amp ( ill-bre$+ is set on _! qu]ul\s little faces4 ,b1 if su* spirits contribute no?+ to ! social fund1--because !y h no?+ to contribute1--y1 :o h1 mu/ d d\ble duty4 ,& no?+ is m ne$$ ?an tactful conv]sation4 ,! odde/ criticism t ,i h ev] enc\nt]$ f a review] 0 ! laconic & cynical rem>k 7comm5t+ ^u my r altrui/ic belief 9 ! duty ( giv+ "o's be/ ?\ght to ! conv]sational circle71 t ,n[adays1 p don't talk3 if !y h any good ideas1 !y save !m & write !m out & sell !m4 ,! critic impli$ t1 o!rwise1 9 ?is age ( univ]sal scribbl+1 "s plagi>i/ w\ld appropriate ^! ideas & hurry !m to ! magaz9e m>ket be=e ! orig9al ?9k] _h "t to fix ! jewel 9 a sett+ ( 8 own4 ,( c\rse1 ! little bra9 ?ief is common en\gh2 b x _h nev] occurr$ to me to be s w>y4 ,x /ruck me ) ! full =ce ( novelty1 t any "o %\ld be det]r$ f spee* by su* a consid]ation4 ,i h s9ce wond]$ :e!r t p>ticul> phase ( s]p5t-wisdom acc\nts = ! non-committal sil5ces ) :i* "s well-kn[n wits ent]ta9 ! social circle1 ! :ile a despair+ ho/ess is mak+ ! be/ ( su* help z a few lively *att]boxes c give h]4 ,n t ,i ev] saw any notably sup]ior talk]s /ruck dumb 9 ?is way2 ,ri*>d ,br9sley ,%]idan nev] 01 if ,i recall correctly4 ,:y %\ld y be8 ,if y\r bright idea is /ol51 y c sp>e x2 if y are truly bright1 y h _m m :]e t "o came f4 ,b bew>e ( =c$ brightness4 ,wit is no?+ if n spontane\s4 ,if nature has n end[$ y ) ! in/antane\s p]ception ( contra/s & incongruities1 out ( :i* fla%es ! swift conceit call$ wit1 d n imag9e y are dull or un9t]e/+4 ,!re are o!r gifts & graces less sup]ficial1 f> m r>e1 & ultimately m influ5tial1 ?an wit4 ,& ?\gh y are witty1 d n talk nons5se ov]-mu*4 ,rememb] t x is ! little nons5se n[ & !n t is reli%$ by ! be/ ( m54 ,x is p]il\sly easy to we>y p ) ! sm>t /yle ( talk4 ,b let y\r *e]ful s5se1 grave or gay1 be z good an (f]+ to y\r fri5ds z y "k h[ to make4 ,y\r next special occasion--= :i* y might h sav$ all ^! ?+s--w lose no?+ ( value4 ,x may r ga9 f\rfold1 by ! reflex inspiration t repl5i%es e unselfi% outp\r+ ( ! nobl] social _s4 ,,on ,,! ,,w+ ,travel]s h c]ta9 rights gu>ante$ by _! regul>ly-pur*as$ tickets4 ,)9 su* b\nds !y are privileg$ to claim all com=ts & immunities4 ,b ! mann]ly t\ri/ w claim no m4 ,he w n take up m room ?an he is entitl$ to :ile o!r pass5g]s are discommod$4 ,nor w he p]si/ 9 keep+ 8 p>ticul> w9d[ op5 :5 ! draught & ! c9d]s !refrom are tr\blesome or dang]\s to o!r p4 ,if travel]s c>ry a lun*-basket1 !y %\ld discuss its cont5ts quietly1 & be c>eful n to litt] ! floor ) crumbs1 or ! debris ( fruits & nuts1 nor to leave any trace ( its pres5ce aft] ! lun*eon is f9i%$4 ,if a lady is travel+ "u ! escort ( a g5tleman1 %e w give him z little tr\ble z possible4 ,%e w amuse h]self by read+1 or /udy+ ! l&scape1 leav+ him at lib]ty to *oose simil> div]sions :5 conv]sation gr[s t$i\s4 ,%e w c>ry few p>cels1 & if possible w h arrang$ = "s "o to meet h] at h] /ation1 s t h] oblig+ gu>dian ne$ n be tax$ to look aft] h] beyond ! railway j\rney's end4 ,if ! g5tleman has att5d$ to ! pur*ase ( tickets1 & ! pay+ ( d9+-c> fees1 etc41 ! lady w repay ^? exp5ditures1 z a matt] ( c\rse1 ?ank+ him = ! tr\ble t he has tak5 to give h] safe conduct4 ,a g5tleman ?us travel+ z escort w att5d to all matt]s ( tickets1 ! *eck+ ( baggage1 etc42 & w see t ! lady is com=tably settl$ = h] j\rney1 ) "s ?\ghtful provision 9 ! way ( magaz9es1 & possibly a basket ( f9e fruit4 ,he w see t ! port] & ! maid 7if !re is "o7 are att5tive to h] com=t1 & w n rel9qui% 8 *>ge until he leaves h]1 ei!r at h] f9al de/9ation1 or 9 ! c>e ( "s "o au?oriz$ to relieve him ( ! responsibility4 ,he w p]=m all ^! duties *e]fully1 & endeavor to convey ! idea t x is a pleasure to him2 & ?is w be bett] %[n 9 8 mann] ?an by any conv5tional prote/ations4 ,!re ought n to be su* a ?+ z hotel mann]s4 ,b !re is2 & x sugge/s c]ta9 important injunctions4 ,hotel p>titions are usually ?91 & s\nds are p5etrat+4 ,private affairs %\ld n be l\dly discuss$4 ,t\ri/s %\ld le>n to conv]se 9 quiet tones1 & to make z little racket z possible ) furniture1 boots1 etc41 & to be polite en\gh n to keep o!r gue/s awake late at night ) ! noise ( music1 laught]1 or l\d talk+4 ,! mann]s at table1 9 ! read+-rooms1 & ab\t ! corridors %\ld con=m to :atev] law ( etiquette 9 private or public life ! incid5ts may indicate2 s9ce1 at a hotel1 "o is bo? at home & n at home1 9 two diff]5t aspects4 ,9 driv+ ) ladies1 a g5tleman gives !m ! seat fac+ ! horses1 rid+ backw>d himself if any "o mu/4 ,he w alight f ! c>riage fir/1 on ! side ne>e/ 8 seat1 to avoid pass+ 9 front ( ! ladies2 & w assi/ !m to alight1 giv+ z mu* or z little support z ! case dem&s4 ,a light f+]-tip on an elb[ is all ! help t a sprightly girl may ne$1 b h] gr&mo!r may require to be t5d]ly lift$ out bodily4 ,a g5tleman w discrim9ate1 & n use an uncall$-= famili>ity 9 help+ a lady out ( a c>riage4 ,:5 sev]al ladies are driv+1 ! y\nge/ ones 9 ! p>ty w ride backw>ds4 ,a ho/ess driv+ ) h] gue/s ent]s h] c>riage aft] !m1 unless !y are noticeably y\ng] ?an %e is2 b %e does n rel9qui% h] usual seat to any "o1 unless %e happ5s to h a p>ty ( v5]able ladies4 ,,etiquette ,,( ,,gifts ,w$d+ pres5ts %\ld be *os5 ) due ref]5ce to ! circum/ances ( ! bride4 ,= ! daught] ( weal?y p>5ts1 :o w$s a husb& ( l>ge means--& to :om all desirable useful ?+s are assur$--articles ( virtu1 & bewild]+ creations 9 ! way ( co/ly fancy articles1 are suitable w$d+ gifts4 ,= a quiet little bride :o is go+ to h\sekeep+ on a mod]ate income1 articles t are useful z well z beautiful are appropriate & acceptable4 ,a h&some sub/antial *air1 a cab9et = *9a1 pretty *9a to put 9 x1 "s /&>d books1 a set ( f9e table l951--almo/ any?+ )9 ! range ( da9ty h\se-furni%+ %[s ! good ta/e ( ! giv]4 ,pres5ts t owe _! creation to ! +5uity & labor ( "o's fri5ds--z h&-pa9t$ scre5s or *9a1 embroid]$ "w1 or1 if "o is arti/ic1 a pa9t+ or et*+--are peculi>ly complim5t>y w$d+ gifts4 ,9 g5]al1 ! ex*ange ( gifts is desirable only betwe5 fri5ds :o c>e en\gh = ea* o!r n only to give1 b to be will+ to accept--! latt] be+ a sev]] te/ ( fri5d%ip4 ,betwe5 two wom51 or betwe5 two m51 ^! matt]s adju/ !mselves4 ,a man %\ld n (f] valuable gifts to any lady outside ( 8 own family1 unless %e is v mu* 8 s5ior1 & a fri5d ( long /&+4 ,simil>ly1 a lady %\ld n accept valuable gifts f a g5tleman unless 8 relation%ip to h] w>rants x4 ,trifl+ tok5s ( fri5d%ip or gallantry--a book1 a b\quet1 or a basket ( bon-bons--are n amiss2 b a lady %\ld n be "u obligation to a man = pres5ts t pla9ly repres5t a consid]able money value4 ,:5 a gift is accept$1 ! recipi5t %\ld n make too obvi\s ha/e to return ! complim5t1 le/ he or %e seem unwill+ to re/ "u obligation4 ,x is polite to all[ a g5]\s fri5d "s space ( "t 9 :i* to enjoy ! bless$ness ( giv+4 ,indep5d5ce is an excell5t ?+2 b x becomes peculi>ly rude :5 x takes ! =m ( refus+ all trifl+ favors4 ,x is (t5 ! greate/ wisdom z well z k9dness1 to all[ "s "o to d u a favor4 ,enemies h be5 trans=m$ into fri5ds by ?is tactful process2 =1 z "o always hates "o :om he has injur$1 s1 on ! rev]se1 he _c help feel+ an increas$ gl[ ( k9dl9ess t[>d "o :om he has b5efit$4 ,:5 "s unsophi/icat$ p]son innoc5tly (f]s a gift t /rict conv5tionality w\ld =bid "o to accept1 x is sometimes bett] to susp5d ! rules & accept ! tok51 ?an by refusal to hurt ! feel+s ( "o :o has p]haps (f5d$ ! lett]1 b n ! _s1 ( ! law4 ,gifts ( fl[]s to ! convalesc5t--tok5s t ! busy outside _w has n =gott5 him--are among ! mo/ graceful expressions ( c\rte\s int]e/4 ,any "o--ev5 a total /rang]--may s5d ^!1 if ! _s moves1 & ! circum/ances are su* t ! act c\ld be> no possible mis9t]pretation4 ,,gallantry ,,& ,,coquetry ,t a man enjoys ! society ( a *>m+ woman1 t a woman delights 9 ! conv]sation ( a brilliant man1 is no sign t ei!r ( !m is a flirt4 ,few ?+s are m vulg> ?an ! read9ess to inf] a flirtation f e case ( m>k$ mutual int]e/ betwe5 a man & a woman4 ,! int]*ange ( bright ideas1 int]sp]s$ ) ! spontane\s sallies ( gallantry & ! in/9ctive rep>tee ( innoc5t coquetry--an ar*]y ( wit & humor1 grave & gay1--?is is "o ( ! sali5t features ( civiliz$ social life4 ,x has no?+ 9 common ) ! %all[ trave/y ( s5tim5t t *>act]izes a po9tless flirtation4 ,! latt] is bad =m :5ev] & :]ev] exi/+4 ,a s9c]e s5tim5t is n r$uc$ to ! /raits ( express+ itself 9 su* unc]ta9 language4 ,x is fair to conclude t "s ins9c]ity1 or "s lack ( a correct basis = s5tim5t1 is betray$ 9 e po9tless flirtation4 ,x is hopelessly bad =m4 ,"y p :o gratify vanity by idle conque/s1 s call$1 make a suffici5tly conspicu\s %[ ( ill-bre$+2 b a m>ri$ flirt is worse ?an vulg>4 ,a woman may accept e tribute t a *ivalr\s man may (f] to h] tal5t or wit1 s long z x is express$ 9 a he>ty _s ( good comrade%ip1 & ) a cle> & unmi/akable def]5ce to h] self-respect+ dignity2 b a well-br$ woman w res5t z an insult to h] womanhood any quasi-s5tim5tal ov]tures f a man :o has n ! "r to make !m4 ,etiquette requires t ! association ( m5 & wom5 9 ref9$ circles %all be frank )\t fre$om1 fri5dly )\t famili>ity4 ,flirt+ is a plebeian div]sion4 ,e well-br$ woman is a que51 = ^: sake e well-br$ man w hold a lance 9 rets4 ,,9 ,,conclusion ,s9ce c5sori\sness is a quality utt]ly antagoni/ic to good mann]s1 x is well to reflect t1 :ile etiquette lays d[n _m laws1 x also indulg5tly grants g5]\s absolution4 ,:ile we decide t c]ta9 =ms & me?ods ( action are correct & good =m1 we mu/ rememb] t all p1 ourselves includ$1 are liable to be occasionally remiss 9 little ?+s1 & t we mu/ n too ha/ily decide a man's /atus on ! score ( bre$+ by 8 punctili\s obs]vance ( conv5tional laws4 ,!re are "s requirem5ts ( etiquette t h _! f\ndation 9 ! idea ( conv5i5ce or feasibility2 o!rs t are ess5tially requisite z ! expon5t ( dec5cy4 ,a man may easily be f> f p]fect 9 details ( ! =m] class1 & yet be a ref9$ g5tleman2 b he _c (f5d 9 ! latt] class ( in/ances )\t be+ a boor4 ,some?+ worse ?an eat+ ) 8 knife mu/ o/racize a man1 & some?+ no great] ?an spitt+ on ! sidewalk %\ld accompli% ! feat at "o fell /roke4 ,!re is an infallible con/ancy 9 good bre$+4 ,l *>ity1 ( :i* x is s l>gely an expon5t1 x nev] faile?4 ,"o's mann] to two diff]5t p1 respectively1 may n be ! same1 b x %\ld be equally c\rte\s1 :e!r x expresses ! cordial fri5dl9ess ( social equals or ! j e/eem ( "o ei!r high] or l[] ?an "o's self 9 ! social scale4 ,no man is a h]o to 8 valet1 because ! h]oic is conf9$ to great & r>e occasions4 ,b e g5tleman is a g5tleman to 8 valet1 = ! qualities t di/+ui% ! g5tleman are e day & e h\r manife/$4