by ,case ,western ,reserve ,university  
,preservation ,department ,digital      
,library7       ,the ,riverside ,library
 for ,young ,people  ,,number #h        
,,girls ,,and ,,women  ,,by  ,e4        
,,chester  7,harriet ,e4 ,paine7        
,illustration3 ,publisher's logo        
,copyright1 #ahij1  ,,by ,,houghton1    
,,mifflin  ,,co4  ,,boston ,,and ,,new  
,,york  ,all rights reserved4  ,the     
,riverside ,press1 ,cambridge1 ,mass41  
,u4 ,s4 ,a4  ,electrotyped and ,printed 
by ,h4 ,o4 ,houghton  ,company4         
,,contents   ,,chapter                  
,,page     ,i4 ,,an ,,aim ,,in ,,life   
#g    ,,ii4 ,,health                    
#bd   ,,iii4 ,a ,,practical ,,education 
#ch    ,,iv4 ,,self-,,support4--,,shall 
,,girls ,,support ,,themselves8         
#di     ,v4 ,,self-,,support4--,,how    
,,shall ,,girls ,,support ,,themselves8 
#fc    ,,vi4 ,,occupations ,,for ,,the  
,,rich                              #hb 
,,vii4 ,,culture                        
#ii  ,,viii4 ,,the ,,essentials ,,of ,a 

,,lady                             #aaf 
,,ix4 ,,the ,,problem ,,of ,,charity    
#abg     ,x4 ,,the ,,essentials ,,of ,a 
,,home                             #acf 
,,xi4 ,,hospitality                     
#aed   ,,xii4 ,,bric-,a-,,brac          
#afe  ,,xiii4 ,,emotional ,,women       
#agc   ,,xiv4 ,a ,,question ,,of        
,,society                               
#ahg    ,,xv4 ,,narrow ,,lives          
#bja   ,,xvi4 ,,conclusion4--,a         
,,miscellaneous ,,chapter               
#bah   ,,girls ,,and ,,women4     ,i4   
,,an ,,aim ,,in ,,life4   ,for the sake 
of girls who are just beginning life1   
let me tell the stories of some other   
girls who are now middle-aged women4    
,some of them have succeeded and some   
have failed in their purposes1 and often
 in a surprising way4  ,i remember a    
girl who left school at seventeen with  
the highest honors4 ,immediately we     
began to see her name in the best       
magazines4 ,the heavy doors of          
literature seemed to swing open before  

her4 ,then suddenly we heard no more of 
her4 ,a dozen years later she was known 
to no one outside her own circle4 ,she  
was earning her living as book-keeper in
 a large five-cent store6 ,she led the  
life of a drudge1 and that was not the  
worst of it4 ,she was a sensitive woman1
 and there was much that was mortifying 
in her position4 ,all her ,greek and    
,italian books were packed away4 ,she   
knew no more of science than when she   
left school4 ,at odd minutes she read   
good novels1 and that was all she had to
 do with literature4 ,those who had     
expected much of her thought her life   
was a failure1 and she thought so too4  
,yet there is another side to the       
picture4 ,the aim she had set for       
herself in life was not to be an author1
 though that idea had taken strong hold 
on her1 and she tried to realize it in  
spite of great discouragements4 ,this   
was her minor aim1 but the grand aim    
with her had always been to lead the    
divine life at whatever cost4 ,it proved

 to cost almost everything4 ,her utmost 
help was needed for her large family1   
which was poor4 ,unusual as her success 
with editors had been1 no girl of       
seventeen could depend on a large income
 from magazines4 ,a good salary was     
offered her as book-keeper1 and she     
accepted it4  ,she tried to continue her
 favorite occupation by rising early1   
but she was not strong enough to go on  
long in that way4 ,she sometimes had an 
hour in the evening1 but when she saw   
the wistful look in her mother's face   
she would not shut herself up alone4 ,at
 the rare times when she was still free 
to choose she went back to her books and
 her pen1 but she could not do much1 and
 at last she felt it would be better not
 to try4 ,it was simply a source of     
vexation1 and she needed a serene mind  
above all things4  ,the only way her    
life could open towards beauty or       
happiness at all was by putting the true
 spirit into her daily work4 ,with a    
resolute heart she did this4 ,no books  

were ever more beautifully kept than    
hers2 every figure was clear and        
perfect2 every column was added without 
a mistake4 ,in short1 she did her work  
like an artist4  ,to the sales-girls she
 was like a guardian angel4 ,she might  
have written good stories all her life  
without helping others half so much4    
,little1 weak1 frivolous girls became   
strong1 fine women simply from daily    
contact with her4 ,she did not realize  
that4 ,she only knew that she loved the 
girls and that they loved her4 ,she did 
know that she helped her family--with   
her money4 ,her spirit helped them      
unconsciously still more4  ,when at last
 she gave up the minor aim of her life1 
and no longer tried to be learned or    
famous1 she had her energies set free   
for many little things which had        
previously been crowded out4 ,it was    
easy now to find a leisure hour to help 
any one who needed sympathy4 ,there was 
time to watch the beauty of the sunset  
or of the falling snow4 ,if she had no  

time to scramble through a volume of a  
new poet1 she could still learn line by 
line some favorite old poem1 and let it 
sink into her heart1 so that it did its 
work thoroughly4 ,if she could not find 
time to learn the history of all the    
artists from the time of ,phidias to the
 last ,new ,york exhibition1 yet when a 
beautiful picture was before her she    
could look at it thoughtfully without   
feeling that she must hurry on to the   
next4 ,in this way1 perhaps1 she gained 
a more absolute culture than in the way 
she would have chosen1 a culture of     
thought and character which told on     
every one who came near her4  ,she was  
always climbing up towards ,god1 and his
 help never failed her4 ,the climbing   
was hard1 yet the pathway was radiant   
with light4 ,those who were stumbling   
along in the darkness by her side saw   
the light and were able to walk erect4  
,i cannot say she was altogether happy  
with so many of her fine powers unused4 
,perhaps she was not even quite right in

 sacrificing herself completely4        
,sometimes she fostered selfishness in  
others while she tried to cast it out of
 herself4 ,but so far as she could see  
she had no choice4 ,if she had refused  
the sacrifice1 it would have been by    
giving up the grand aim of her life4    
,her minor aim was good in itself1 but  
it conflicted with something better4    
,those who did not know her life        
intimately thought it a failure4 ,those 
who saw deeper knew that her utter      
failure in what was non-essential had   
been the condition of essential success4
   ,i remember another brilliant girl   
who did win her way4 ,she was poor and  
plain and friendless1 but she won wealth
 and fame and friends1 and then1 with   
all this success1 she blossomed into    
beauty4 ,she had a struggle1 but she    
came out victorious4 ,i think she was   
happy4 ,she was glad to be beautiful and
 to be loved4 ,she had music and        
pictures and travel in abundance1 and   
she appreciated these things4 ,she liked

 to give to the poor1 and she did give  
bountifully and with a grace and        
sweetness better than the gift4  ,she   
painted pictures which everybody        
admired1 and that pleased her4 ,she had 
dreamed of all this when a child4 ,she  
had genius and she had perseverance4    
,her aim was to be a famous artist1 and 
she did not flinch from any work or     
sacrifice which would help her to that  
end4 ,so far all was well1 and she      
reached the goal4 ,as there was nothing 
to prevent her carrying out secondary   
plans at the same time1 she could be    
cultivated and charitable without giving
 up her great object4  ,she wanted to be
 good besides4 ,she never deliberately  
decided for the wrong against the right4
 ,and yet a noble life was not first in 
her thoughts4 ,when she was a           
school-girl she had a lover who was like
 a better self4 ,by and by he chose to  
study for the ministry1 while she went  
to the city to try her fortune4 ,so far 
they shared every thought and feeling   

and hope4 ,she knew she was a better    
woman with him than with any one else4  
,but at last he was called to a remote  
country parish1 and for himself was     
satisfied with it4 ,but she--how then   
could she be his wife8 ,her heart was   
torn in the strife4 ,some women whose   
vision was less keen would have married 
him1 hoping that in some way they might 
still carry out their own ambition4 ,but
 she was at a critical point in her     
career and she knew it4 ,she had just   
begun to be known personally to         
influential people1 and her name was    
beginning to be known to the public4    
,she dared not risk leaving her post4   
,she wrote her lover a charming         
letter1--for she did love him1--and told
 him how it was4 ,when ,i have won my   
victory1 said she1 ,i shall be a free   
woman4 ,and you will love me just as    
much when ,i have more to give you than 
,i have now4 ,but now ,i have my little 
talent confided to me1 and ,i dare not  
fold it away in a napkin4 ,her lover    

agreed to this1 though it was hard for  
him4 ,they worked apart year after year4
 ,at last she was a free woman1 with    
money enough to live without work at    
all1 and with fame enough to work when  
and where she pleased4 ,but gradually   
she cared less and less for the objects 
of her lover's life4 ,she would not own 
to herself that she had failed in       
constancy to him4 ,she always thought   
she was glad to see him when he came to 
the city4 ,but he felt the difference in
 her1 though he tried not to see it4    
,she was far more beautiful than when he
 had first loved her2 but in the days   
when she was so plain and had worn      
shabby dresses there had been an        
expression about her mouth which he     
missed now4 ,the lovely face was still  
eager with longing1 but it had lost the 
look of aspiration4 ,reluctantly1 he    
admitted the change in her4 ,at last he 
told her what he felt1 that she had     
ceased to love him4 ,she had deceived   
herself so far that she had not realized

 how idle her excuses were for putting  
off the marriage from year to year4     
,when the separation came she felt a    
sharp pang--as much of mortification at 
her own failure as of wounded love4 ,yet
 she consented to the separation1 and   
she seemed to be happy after it4 ,she   
thought her life had been tragic1 and   
that she had made a heroic sacrifice of 
her love to the necessity which her     
genius laid upon her to do a certain    
work in the world4  ,i should be afraid 
to say that she was altogether wrong4   
,there are1 no doubt1 some women who are
 meant to serve the whole world rather  
than the little domestic circle4 ,and   
yet she did give up what she had        
believed the best part of herself4 ,and 
her pictures1 though they were admired1 
lacked an indescribable something of    
which her first crude sketches had given
 promise4 ,i do not think that1 after   
all1 they did very much to interpret    
beauty to the world4 ,she had two aims  
in life1 both good1 but she placed the  

first second1 and the second first4     
,perhaps1 on the whole1 she was happier 
for the choice she made4 ,but she missed
 something better than happiness which  
is always missed by those who make the  
lower aim their object--she missed the  
aspiration for higher happiness4  ,i    
have seen many successful lives led by  
women who as girls showed very moderate 
abilities1 simply because they had one  
definite aim4 ,i knew a girl who became 
an excellent actress4 ,she was a pretty 
girl with a little talent4 ,she was not 
poor1 but she had an ambition to be on  
the stage4 ,she had the good sense to   
see that she was not a genius1 but she  
also had courage enough to persevere in 
using the ability she had4 ,for the     
first ten years she made so little      
apparent headway that even among her    
acquaintances many people did not know  
she had ever acted at all4 ,in the mean 
time she had studied hard4 ,she knew    
many popular plays by heart1 and had    
carefully watched other actresses4 ,she 

was acquainted with a number of         
theatrical people4 ,she had always been 
at hand when a manager wanted an extra  
peasant girl1 or when a waiting maid was
 ill4 ,she had joined a small troupe    
traveling through the bleakest and      
roughest parts of the ,northwest in     
midwinter4 ,by and by she was fitted to 
be of use in a stock company4 ,then1    
after a few more years1 she achieved    
what she had been striving for4 ,she was
 able to take the slighter characters in
 the plays of ,shakespeare4 ,no one     
excelled her here4 ,no great actress    
would take so small a part1 and no small
 actress was willing to take such pains4
 ,her power was unique and she was      
indispensable4 ,her name was seldom on  
the play-bills1 but she added something 
to the culture of the world by making   
the interpretation of ,shakespeare more 
complete4  ,her success came first from 
having a definite aim1 and second1 from 
understanding herself sufficiently to   
aim at something within her power2 but  

happily it was also the highest thing   
within her power4 ,she was both humble  
and aspiring4 ,she showed her humility  
in shrinking from no drudgery1 and      
satisfied her cravings for the ideal by 
doing the smallest thing in the best way
 possible to her4 ,she enjoyed even her 
drudgery because she put the best of    
herself into it1 but1 more than that1   
she knew it was leading her exactly in  
the direction she wanted to go4 ,if the 
drudgery had led to nothing she would   
have needed all the moral power of our  
little book-keeper to save her from     
misery4 ,her own happier life required  
some moral power1 how much it is hard to
 say4 ,a woman might do all she did and 
be little the better for it4 ,it would  
depend on the aim she cherished in her  
heart4 ,if she had no higher aim than to
 be a good actress her life did not     
avail much4 ,but if her acting was only 
the minor aim1 then her life was        
thoroughly noble as well as successful4 
,her choice of a minor aim makes it     

probable that she also had the highest  
aim4 ,otherwise she would have been     
either more or less humble4 ,she would  
either have wished to be a star actress 
or have been contented with any trifling
 parts which brought her money and      
admiration4  ,the best happiness comes  
from our perseverance in following the  
grand aim of life4 ,but the kind of     
happiness which we all recognize as such
 is generally that which comes from the 
successful pursuit of our minor aim4    
,herbert ,spencer says that every       
creature is happy when he is fully using
 his powers4 ,i have known a girl with a
 magnificent voice who endured great    
hardships for a musical education1 and  
who finally accomplished her purpose and
 enchanted the world with her singing4  
,she was happy4 ,of course everybody    
expected her to be4 ,but ,i have known  
another girl1 equally happy1 carefully  
working in the laboratory to find the   
water-tubes of a star-fish or the nerves
 of a clam4 ,this girl said to me with a

 face bright with enthusiasm1 ,when ,i  
first began to work with ,professor ----
 in the laboratory it was as if ,i had  
been traveling all my life in a desert  
land1 and had suddenly come upon        
fountains of fresh water4 ,she was as   
poor and obscure as my singer was rich  
and famous1 but she was using her powers
 and was happy4  ,of course the kind of 
happiness to be found even in secondary 
success depends on the great aim of any 
life4 ,in some cases it almost seems as 
if the minor aim were the only one4 ,the
 happiness it brings cannot go very     
high1 yet so far as a looker-on may     
judge it feels like happiness4 ,but most
 people--perhaps all1 if we only knew   
it--do acknowledge the grand aim in     
life1 even though they make very little 
effort to reach it4 ,when they          
consciously neglect this for the minor  
aim1 they are uneasy and not thoroughly 
happy2 but when the minor aim is good in
 itself and is always made subservient  
to the higher1 success there does prove 

a well-spring of delight4  ,spencer's   
remark is also true in the best sense1  
for no powers crave exercise so much as 
the higher powers4 ,if my singer had    
done a sinful deed no applause could    
have made her happy4 ,and1 on a lower   
plane1 if she had lost the husband she  
dearly loved1 even her art would not    
have satisfied her4   ,it may seem as if
 ,i am choosing all my illustrations    
from among people who have special      
gifts1 and that nothing ,i say applies  
to the great army of girls who will     
never be distinguished1 and who are all 
the dearer for not wishing to be so4 ,i 
have not forgotten this1 but ,i began   
with striking illustrations because they
 are easiest to understand4  ,the grand 
aim of life should be the same for all1 
whether gifted or not4 ,but the         
particular aim must vary with the       
individual4 ,probably with five girls   
out of ten the particular aim is to have
 a happy home4 ,once we might have said 
nine girls out of ten1 but the present  

tendency of thought is to make girls    
ambitious1--too ambitious1 it sometimes 
seems1 for the very best of life4  ,of  
course selfishness shows itself in      
various ways1 and the girl who wishes to
 have a happy home without thinking how 
she shall make a happy home may be more 
selfish than the girl who dreams of     
fame1 but with the understanding that   
the price of fame is1 and ought to be1  
the giving of some blessing to the      
world4  ,i know a delightful girl who   
seems to think of nothing but making    
others happy from the moment when she   
meets her maid with a cheerful          
,good-morning1 till she contrives that  
some less attractive girl shall have the
 most desirable partner in the ball-room
 in the evening4 ,she gives her money   
and her time and her thought to the     
service of other people4 ,this is so    
natural to her that no one thinks of her
 as making it a conscious aim1 but the  
result is so beautiful as to suggest    
that it would be the best aim for every 

girl4 ,nevertheless she has a still     
higher aim1 for sometimes the happiness 
of other people--at least their visible 
happiness--clashes with some other duty4
 ,then she does not fail4 ,she gives her
 hard refusal in pleasant but firm      
words1 and she tells the truth even if  
it makes some one wince4 ,she is not a  
genius1 but1 on the whole1 ,i hardly    
know another girl so full of the best   
life4 ,that her highest aim is the true 
one is without question1 and that her   
minor aim is the true one for her must  
also be admitted4 ,whether it is so for 
all is not quite clear4 ,she has the    
natural gift which makes all her        
ministrations to others acceptable1 but 
every one is not so endowed4  ,she has a
 cousin as unselfish as she is whose    
capacity is entirely different4 ,she is 
a quiet1 reserved1 thoughtful girl1 who 
always speaks slowly4 ,she is just and  
good-tempered1 and is ready to give her 
time and money when she sees she can be 
of use4 ,but her thoughts move in other 

channels4 ,she has excellent            
mathematical abilities1 and she is      
always resolving some difficult problem4
 ,she hopes some day to do some work in 
astronomy4 ,of course she would be glad 
to do some great work and be known as a 
benefactor to mankind1 but probably she 
works from love of her work more than   
from the hope of doing good4 ,she1 too1 
is charming1 but it takes a long time to
 know her well4  ,should one of these   
girls try to do the work of the other8  
,or is one better than the other8 ,i    
think not1 since both look so steadily  
towards the highest star in their field 
of vision4 ,the minor aim of life must  
always have reference to the gifts of   
the individual4 ,even visiting the poor 
would become absurd if nobody did       
anything else4   ,if we believe in an   
overruling ,providence we cannot of     
course say that anything is by chance2  
but so far as we can see1 failure in    
this world--that is1 failure to reach   
our minor aim--does sometimes seem to be

 due to a trifling accident4 ,yet       
success is not so4 ,if ,byron1 for      
instance1 awoke one morning and found   
himself famous1 it was because he had   
previously done the work which was      
suddenly recognized by the world4       
,indeed1 none of us need look for       
success who does not choose a definite  
aim in life4 ,and1 more than that1 no   
discouragement must turn us aside from  
it4 ,we may fail in the end then1 but we
 shall have followed the only possible  
path to success4   ,how shall we choose 
our aim8 ,we know what our grand aim    
must be1 and that if we do our part     
there we shall not fail1 for we shall   
have ,god to help us2 and we know that  
our minor aim must never be opposed to  
this4 ,but what shall our minor aim be1 
or shall we be content to drift without 
any at all8  ,we must try to understand 
ourselves so far at least as to know    
what our own powers and tastes are1 and 
choose accordingly4 ,a young girl hardly
 knows her own bent4 ,then the          

uncertainty in regard to her marriage   
and the great change that necessarily   
makes in her pursuits renders the       
problem harder for her than for her     
brothers4  ,most girls wish to be the   
centre of a happy home1 but many of them
 are very careless about the means of   
making themselves fit to be such a      
centre4 ,they think when love comes it  
will do everything1 and it is true that 
it will do wonders4 ,but suppose a girl 
remembers that if she is well she can   
make her family happier then if she is  
always ailing1--suppose she remembers   
how much good housekeeping does to make 
a home attractive2 that if she is       
musical her singing will calm the       
troubled waters1 while if she is not her
 practicing will be a burden2 that there
 are some studies which bear directly on
 life and some others which will be of  
infinite use to a mother in training her
 children1--is she not more likely to   
have a happy home than if her aim had   
been less definite8  ,but what of the   

girls who choose this aim and who never 
have a home8 ,their lot is hard1 but    
they may add happiness to some home not 
their own4 ,if they are not obliged to  
support themselves1 they can probably   
create some kind of a home for          
themselves1 though not that of their    
ideal4 ,if they must earn their living1 
the problem is harder4 ,circumstances   
may force them into a widely different  
path from that they would have chosen4  
,then they must remember the grand aim  
of their lives1 and do the best work    
they can for the sake of it4 ,still1    
they may use the home-making faculty in 
some measure in the humblest attic4     
,but there is a large and ever larger   
class of girls with other tastes than   
domestic ones4 ,here1 ,i think1 the     
danger is greater than in case of even  
the most unfortunate girls with domestic
 tastes2 for tastes and talents do not  
always agree4 ,we have all known girls  
willing to practice six hours a day who 
could never be musicians1 and most girls

 think they could write a book4 ,many   
people who are quite free to choose make
 too ambitious a choice4 ,it seems a    
part of the office of culture to correct
 such ambitions4 ,i have in mind a class
 of half-taught school-girls many of    
whom fondly hoped to be poetesses2 and  
,i remember a class of highly cultivated
 girls1 who had had every advantage of  
education which money could buy1 who    
were full of anxiety on leaving school  
because they could not see that they had
 capacity enough to do any work worth   
doing in the world4 ,the general verdict
 among them was that as they had money  
they could give it to the poor1 but that
 they had nothing in themselves4 ,they  
were as much too timid as the others    
were too confident4  ,a girl who has to 
earn her living has a safeguard1 for    
which few are very thankful4 ,no one    
will pay her to indulge her tastes      
without reference to her talents4 ,she  
finds out gradually what ought to be her
 minor aim1 for she discovers the       

special service she can render to the   
world in return for what it offers to   
her4 ,in most cases she wins a          
reasonable measure of success and       
happiness4  ,but some of us are         
obstinate4 ,we see one pathway we long  
to tread even though it is beset with   
stones and briers4 ,we are determined to
 take that way1 even if we never climb  
high enough to penetrate the low-lying  
mists which darken it4 ,we would rather 
pursue even a little way the painful    
pathway which leads to the glorious     
mountain-top than to follow an easier   
path to some lower summit4 ,if we truly 
feel that1 we do well to take the path1 
for we have a right to forget ourselves 
for the sake of our aim4 ,but if we ask 
for success after all1 it is mere blind 
vanity which makes us so obstinate in   
our choice4  ,let us remember that our  
direct usefulness in the world and most 
of our conscious happiness will depend  
on our choosing and steadily pursuing as
 our minor aim that for which our nature

 fits us1 even if we wish our nature had
 been different2 while our utmost       
usefulness and our highest happiness    
will depend on our clearness of vision  
in seeing1 and our unwavering fidelity  
in following1 the grand aim of life4    
,,ii4  ,,health4   ,mr4 ,clapp says     
enthusiastically that we cannot imagine 
,rosalind or ,portia or ,cordelia or    
,juliet with neuralgia or headache4 ,and
 ,i believe that ,shakespeare's women   
have now taken the place of the more    
lackadaisical and sentimental heroines  
of the past in the minds of many girls4 
,now that girls wish to be well1 it is  
worth while to consider two questions4  
,first1 why is health so important8     
,unless the answer to this question is  
clear1 how can any one be ready to      
sacrifice health to any higher duty8    
,girls do sacrifice it frequently even  
when they know what they are doing1 but 
it is generally for a caprice1 because  
they want to dance later or skate       
longer1 or study unreasonably2 or       

sometimes they cannot resist the        
temptation of food which is not         
convenient for them1 or they are willing
 to indulge their nerves too much1 or it
 is too much trouble not to take cold4  
,i wish every girl who knows that she   
does not live up to her light in this   
respect would say to herself once a day 
for a month1 ,i ought to be vigorously  
well if ,i want to do my part in the    
world1 or to be in thoroughly good      
spirits4 ,i wish she would think of the 
meaning of what she says1 and then see  
if she does not do some things she is   
loth to do and avoid some pleasing      
temptations4 ,i believe a month's       
application of this formula would give  
her a new insight into the value of     
health4 ,i speak not only of health1 but
 of vigorous health4 ,we want to do our 
part in the world1 and that part ought  
to be our utmost4 ,agassiz could work   
fifteen hours a day4 ,most of us could  
never do anything so magnificent as     
that1 and the attempt to do it would    

probably end in our being unfitted to do
 any work at all4 ,but suppose ,agassiz 
had said1 ,twelve hours is too much for 
most men to work1 so ,i can afford to be
 careless of my surplus health as long  
as ,i have strength to work twelve      
hours4 ,the world would not only have   
lost much in the matter of his          
discoveries1 but the spirit of all his  
work would have been different4 ,i do   
not mean that it was necessarily the    
best thing for ,agassiz even to work    
fifteen hours a day on fishes4 ,he might
 have given part of his time to music1  
or friends1 or novels1 because he saw   
that1 on the whole1 such recreation met 
the higher needs of life4 ,but ,i mean  
that he was a man to whom a full life   
was possible for fifteen hours a day1   
and that he would have been wrong to be 
satisfied with less4  ,and now1 second1 
how shall girls be thoroughly well8 ,the
 laws of health are few and simple4     
,they are so well understood by the     
parents of this generation that it may  

seem a waste of time to allude to them  
here4 ,yet ,i am writing for girls whose
 ideas are often vague4  ,one word in   
regard to the study of ,physiology4 ,it 
is a fine study4 ,if a girl thoroughly  
understands how her body ought to work  
in health1 how one organ acts with      
another1 then1 in case of any local     
disturbance1 she will probably be       
capable of seeing how1 if the general   
tone of the system is raised1 the       
particular difficulty will disappear1   
and she will no longer follow blindly   
rules she has learned by rote4 ,yet     
people learn more by practice than by   
theory1 and it is probable that the     
fascinating study of ,physiology is of  
more use intellectually than physically 
to most school-girls4 ,if they are      
allowed to dwell much on diseases of the
 body instead of on its normal action1  
the study may be a positive injury to   
them by leading to morbid conditions4   
,and now again1 ,what are the essentials
 of health8 ,several things may be      

regarded as equally necessary1 so that  
,i cannot lay down rules in exactly the 
order of importance1 yet it is purposely
 that ,i begin with  ,breathe fresh air4
  ,food is important1 but we can live   
hours without taking food1 while we must
 have air every moment4 ,moreover1 the  
oxygen of the air actually nourishes the
 body as food does1 by forming a part of
 the blood4  ,how shall we get fresh    
air8 ,first1 by spending all the time   
possible out of doors1 both in summer   
and winter1 in storm and sunshine4      
,every one acknowledges the advantage of
 exercise in the open air for its own   
sake2 but in ,new ,england we have not  
yet learned how far it is possible to   
live in the open air4 ,i was once at a  
country-house in ,switzerland which     
illustrates this ideal4 ,the            
breakfast-table was spread on a terrace 
shaded by plane-trees1 outside the      
dining-room door4 ,the table was then   
cleared and books and work brought out4 
,the family devotions were conducted    

there4 ,the students studied and wrote1 
the ladies sewed and knit1 and the maids
 prepared the vegetables for dinner     
which was also eaten there4 ,for six    
months in the year this was the ordinary
 course of life4 ,it would not1 to be   
sure1 be possible in all climates1 but  
oftener than we think4  ,yet two thirds 
of our life must be passed in the house1
 and usually in closed rooms on account 
of the cold4 ,now two persons cannot sit
 an hour in one room before the air     
becomes vitiated4 ,most forms of        
ventilation prove inadequate4 ,m4 was a 
vigorous young lady who made it a rule  
to leave a window slightly open all the 
time she was at work1 being careful not 
to sit in the draught4 ,but where this  
is not convenient1 it is a good plan to 
open a window wide every hour or two for
 a minute4 ,i knew a girl who tried that
 plan1 but gave it up because it seemed 
so ridiculous to jump up from her       
studies every little while for the      
purpose4 ,yet nothing is worse than to  

sit still at one occupation for several 
hours1 and even the slight change of    
position would do one almost as much    
good as the fresh air4  ,it is          
indispensable to have the window open   
through the night in every              
sleeping-room4 ,but here caution is     
needed1 because when the body is quiet a
 draught is a serious injury4 ,strips of
 wood across the open part of the window
 will generally be sufficient           
protection4 ,some of you shiver at the  
idea of breathing out of door air in the
 winter4 ,you are so cold6 ,do you know 
that the moment you begin to breathe it 
you begin to grow warm from the         
increased action of the blood8 ,but  ,do
 not take cold4  ,the results of colds  
are more serious than one likes to say4 
,consumption1 pneumonia1 catarrh1       
deafness are some of their names4 ,and  
the whole tone of the system is lowered 
by them4 ,but the over-careful people   
are precisely those who suffer most from
 colds1 because here1 as in so many     

other directions1 the nerves have sway4 
,now1 most colds are taken in one of    
four ways3 ,by sitting in a draught1 by 
becoming thoroughly chilled1 by wetting 
the feet1 and by breathing raw air4 ,but
 none of these things are necessarily   
injurious to a young girl in ordinary   
health--provided she at once does what  
she can to counteract their effects4    
,move out of the draught1 warm the body 
as thoroughly as it was chilled1 dry the
 feet before sitting down1 and cover the
 mouth with a veil so that the air is   
slightly warmed before breathing4 ,then 
one need never stay in for the weather1 
even if one already has a cold4  ,of    
course there are very delicate girls who
 need special care1 but ,i am speaking  
to the average girl4 ,do not forget that
 a cold is a terrible thing1 but also   
remember that it can be avoided by a    
little care at the right time1 and by   
entire forgetfulness at other times4    
,take plenty of exercise4  ,the more you
 can exercise in the open air the       

better4 ,and if you take exercise you   
will find it possible to be out of doors
 on very cold days4 ,if you are not     
strong on your feet1 perhaps you are    
strong in the muscles for rowing4 ,if   
you cannot row1 perhaps you can ride4   
,if you cannot ride1 perhaps you can    
drive4 ,if you cannot drive1 perhaps you
 can exercise in the gymnasium4 ,if you 
cannot do any of these things1 do what  
you can4 ,walk from your door to the    
street and back again4 ,do the same     
thing over in fifteen minutes1 and      
unless you are a miserable bona fide    
invalid your muscles will soon become   
more useful4 ,doing errands1 and going  
about to people who need you1 will give 
you valuable exercise for which you take
 no thought4  ,but some of you are too  
busy to exercise many hours a day in the
 open air1 and so you ought to be4 ,the 
next best thing for you is housework4   
,perhaps you do not like that because   
you see it under the wrong angle of     
vision4 ,whether you like it or not1 it 

is within reach of most of you1 and     
would do you good4  ,but suppose your   
books and your sewing are necessary and 
keep you busy all day4 ,then you are to 
remember to change your position often4 
,at the end of every hour1 when you open
 the window1 take a few deep breaths1   
stretch your arms and legs and fingers1 
and you will be better able to go on    
with your task4  ,eat such food as you  
can thoroughly digest4  ,there are      
persons who are always troubled as to   
what they shall eat1 and who1 with all  
their care1 are always ailing4 ,i do not
 want you to think about your food so   
much that you can digest nothing1 but ,i
 believe that a very little observation 
will teach you what is good for you     
individually4 ,if you have a dizzy head1
 or rising of food1 or a bad breath1 or 
uneasiness of the bowels1 you may be    
pretty sure that you have eaten         
something that disagrees with you1 and  
by a little watchfulness you may        
discover what it is and avoid it4  ,food

 that you can digest very well when you 
are fresh may be much too heavy for you 
when you are tired4 ,and if you are     
thinking intently while you eat1 the    
blood is drawn from the stomach where it
 should be to the brain where it should 
not be4 ,few people can digest          
vegetables not thoroughly cooked1 or    
fruit not thoroughly ripe4 ,i think the 
study of ,physiology is of more         
practical hygienic value in teaching the
 absolute necessity of using food that  
can be readily assimilated by the body1 
and in showing how different foods      
should be combined to that end1 than in 
any other way4 ,a little fish or meat1  
especially beef1 considerable bread1    
especially of the coarser grains1 some  
vegetables1 and fruit according to      
individual organizations1 make up the   
necessary daily fare4 ,a tired stomach  
should begin with soup4 ,as for the     
thousand appetizing viands set before   
us1 each must decide for herself what to
 eat4 ,as long as you have none of the  

symptoms of indigestion1 it is probably 
safe to gratify the appetite and take   
delight in food without further care2   
but if these symptoms appear1 think     
first whether you were too tired1 or had
 too busy a brain to digest anything2   
next1 whether anything you ate was      
unripe or underdone1 and finally1       
whether there was anything in the bill  
of fare which had ever troubled you     
before4 ,then correct your future       
practice accordingly1 and think no more 
about it4 ,depend upon it1 you will soon
 be well1 and1 further1 you will find1  
with mortification perhaps1 that some of
 the headaches you thought came from    
overtaxing the brain1 or from           
sensibility to the woes of the world1   
were really due to improper food4 ,as   
compensation for your mortification you 
will be a more useful woman for your    
whole life4  ,work regularly with both  
body and mind4  ,those who must work for
 self-support are probably1 on the      
whole1 in better health than those who  

are free from necessity4 ,a girl who    
stands all day behind a counter runs    
some risks in health1 but her chances   
are still as good as those of the fine  
lady who broods over imaginary ailments 
till they become real4 ,to those who    
must work ,i have but little to say1 for
 they have a narrow margin of choice4   
,there are several suggestions to be    
made1 however4 ,if your work is         
physical1 use a little of your leisure  
every day in some mental occupation4    
,the best thing is to do some real      
studying4 ,if you can only spend fifteen
 minutes every day on history or        
literature or botany or ,french1 you    
will find yourself the better for it    
bodily1 because it will give you an     
outlook beyond the daily horizon1 and   
take your thoughts from your own        
weariness4 ,if you have no leisure1 or  
if your work is so exhausting that even 
fifteen minutes of study seems          
burdensome1 then keep some interesting  
novel of good tone at hand1 and read a  

little in that every day to change the  
current of your thoughts4 ,if you find1 
however1 that you usually have more than
 an hour for your novel1 you may suspect
 that fifteen minutes of study would not
 hurt you4  ,do you know that you are   
never resting when you are thinking that
 you are tired8 ,when you are tired rest
 at once1 if you can1 by sitting or     
lying down1 or taking recreation1 as    
experience has shown you to be best4    
,but then think no more about it4       
,perhaps you may be overworking4 ,if you
 truly believe this and see any         
possibility of saving yourself1 do so1  
even if you have to give up something   
which seems particularly important4 ,if 
you must overwork1--and there are such  
cases1 though they are not so common as 
we think1--accept the condition as a    
part of the discipline of life1 rest    
whenever you can1 and say and think as  
little about it as you can4 ,this advice
 is to save you from one form of the    
nervous diseases which are the peculiar 

misfortune of our time4  ,if your work  
is sedentary take physical exercise in  
your leisure time1--out of doors1 if    
possible2 but remember that housework is
 the best substitute for that4  ,the    
women who are not obliged to work are   
those who most need this precept4 ,they 
can drive1 and by and by they cannot    
walk4 ,they can lie on the lounge when  
they feel indisposed1 and they lie there
 long after they would get up if they   
had any work to do4 ,they have the best 
chance for complete physical            
development1 but they have great        
temptations to neglect their            
opportunities4 ,among the sweetest of   
such women there is an alarming amount  
of nervous disease1 which is1 alas6 at  
the foundation a refined selfishness4   
,to speak plainly1 as one has said1 we  
are all as lazy as we dare to be1 and   
these women have no check upon laziness4
 ,no power of body or mind can be       
preserved without exercise1 and the     
muscles grow soft1 and the moral fibre  

grows weak4 ,these women are lovely1    
they speak in gentle voices1 and they   
never use a harsh word1 but they rule   
all about them with a rod of iron4 ,dr4 
,weir ,mitchell1 in his blunt way1 says 
that nervous diseases among women have  
destroyed the happiness of more families
 than intemperance4  ,by and by the     
invalid cannot rally even if she has the
 will1 but it is hard to decide where   
responsibility ends4 ,if your mothers or
 your aunts are nervous invalids1 do not
 judge them4 ,causes may have been at   
work which you cannot see4 ,pity their  
terrible misfortune1 and do all you can 
to make them happy4 ,but you1 who have  
the added light of another generation1  
are inexcusable if you fall into such a 
state4  ,how can you avoid it8 ,it is   
easy to say1 ,do not talk about your    
headaches1 or your delicate             
constitution2 but how are you to help   
thinking about these things8 ,decide on 
regular daily work for yourselves4 ,if  
you are still school-girls and your head

 feels heavy in the morning1 think      
whether you would be justified in       
staying at home if you were a teacher4  
,teachers have headaches too1 but they  
seldom stay at home for one1 and they   
are seldom the worse for going to       
school4  ,when you leave school         
undertake some regular work4 ,take      
charge of the marketing1 or oversee the 
housekeeping for a year4 ,ask the       
officers of the ,associated ,charities  
to give you something definite to do1   
and do it regularly4 ,if you are not    
fitted for visiting the poor1 suppose   
you make experiments in natural science4
 ,see what ,lubbock did with ants1 bees1
 and wasps4 ,there are thousands of such
 experiments to be tried1 but few people
 have the leisure for them4 ,you may not
 understand your results1 but you can   
make the accurate observations which are
 absolutely necessary before a great man
 can find out the laws which govern     
them4  ,some mental work you must do4   
,of course you wish that4 ,if you are in

 a city like ,boston1 ,i will tell you  
what you will be tempted to do4 ,you    
will be tempted to sandwich your parties
 and calls and concerts with two or     
three courses of morning lectures given 
by highly trained specialists4 ,in this 
way you will get a delightful society   
knowledge of history and literature and 
art and science1 but you will not really
 exercise your mind very much4 ,your    
knowledge will be available for talk1   
but not for thought4 ,go to the lectures
 by all means1--though perhaps one      
course at a time will do2 but be sure   
that every day at a fixed hour you study
 the subject of the lecture by yourself1
 and make it thoroughly your own4  ,am  
,i wandering from the topic of health8  
,i think not1 because during the last   
fifty years we have learned almost all  
the laws of health1 and yet we are not  
much better than before1 for our nerves 
are still on edge4 ,now girls1 even rich
 girls1 can control their nerves1 if    
they begin soon enough1 with will and   

intelligence4 ,and nothing will help    
them more than to have their bodies and 
minds constantly employed in rational   
ways so that there is no room for       
nervous fancies4  ,take the rest you    
need4  ,it is hard to know how much you 
need4 ,some people must have more than  
others4 ,it is easy to be lazy on the   
one hand1 and to be dissipated on the   
other4 ,some people are injured by      
springing out of bed as soon as they    
wake1 and others by letting the time    
drift by while they doze4 ,some one     
gives this good rule1 ,decide when you  
ought to rise to make the best use of   
your day4 ,make a point of rising at    
that time2 but go to bed earlier and    
earlier till you find out how much sleep
 you need in order to be fresh at that  
hour in the morning4 ,such a rule would 
meet most cases1 but not all2 for though
 regularity is as important for health  
as for a wise life1 it cannot be an iron
 regularity1 especially if a girl is at 
all delicate4 ,i would give more        

flexible rules1 though it is harder to  
keep flexible rules than iron ones4  ,i 
have said before that when you are tired
 you should rest at once1 if you can4   
,rest completely1 but not long4 ,half an
 hour on the sofa is generally enough4  
,rise early1 because an extra hour in   
the morning can be better used than one 
later in the day1 and if duties crowd   
you get tired in remembering what you   
cannot do4 ,but if you are not fresh in 
the morning1 go to bed earlier4 ,if that
 does not meet the case1 your weariness 
probably comes from some other cause    
than insufficient rest4 ,perhaps your   
room is not well ventilated1 or you may 
suffer from indigestion1 or you may     
exercise your brain too much and your   
body too little4 ,if you sit over books 
or sewing all day1 you will always be   
tired however many hours you sleep4     
,most girls from fifteen to twenty need 
about nine hours sleep4 ,if you wish to 
rise at six1 you ought to be in bed at  
nine4  ,a few1 a very few1 of you must  

be invalids4 ,you may have inherited a  
wasting disease1 an accident may have   
crippled you1 or something else beyond  
your control may have brought this      
misfortune upon you4 ,but most of you   
have it in your power to be well1 and   
remember you will be doing something    
morally wrong if you become feeble      
women4     ,,iii4  ,a ,,practical       
,,education4   ,what is a practical     
education for a girl8 ,whatever will fit
 her for life4 ,the question and answer 
are trite4 ,what will best fit a girl   
for life8 ,first of all a well-balanced 
character4 ,i knew a girl who was a good
 cook before she was ten years old2 she 
had a genius for sewing2 she was an     
excellent scholar in school1 and had    
musical talent1 and yet because of her  
capriciousness she never filled any     
place she was called upon to fill in    
life1 and her home was a place of       
discomfort to her husband and children4 
,another girl1 one of the noblest ,i    
ever knew1 also found the practical     

details of life easy1 but she was always
 tossed about from one occupation to    
another1 and from one home to another1  
because when she found every reality    
fall short of her ideal she had not the 
good sense to work quietly to improve   
the matter1 but went about proclaiming  
her disgust4 ,the first thing we all    
need is to have our wills so trained    
that when we see the right1 we may      
instantly do it1 and after that we need 
to be taught to see clearly what is     
right4  ,but as character may be formed 
in many ways why not form it by teaching
 practical things8 ,what1 then1 does a  
girl most need to learn8  ,to read1 to  
cook1 and to sew4  ,i put reading first1
 for though no civilized beings can live
 without cooking and sewing1 and we     
occasionally find good and gentle women 
who cannot read1 yet a woman of real    
character who can read can teach herself
 any branch of housekeeping which she is
 convinced she ought to know1 while a   
cook cannot teach herself to read in any

 broad sense2 for by reading ,i do not  
mean pronouncing words4 ,i want a girl  
to have a taste for good reading4 ,she  
may study the whole circle of the       
sciences without reaching this end1 or  
she may not have more than half a dozen 
books in her library and yet learn the  
lesson4 ,the practical advantage of most
 of her studies in school depends on    
whether or no they lead to this result4 
,how many girls ever use chemistry1 or  
physics1 or geology1 or zooelogy in any 
practical way8 ,yet what a difference   
the study of all these things makes in  
the kind of reading women enjoy6 ,who   
can learn enough history in school to be
 equipped even to teach history8 ,every 
teacher knows that to be impossible4    
,but a girl who has studied history     
properly in school1 who has been taught 
to think about the influence of men on  
nations and of nations on men1 has open 
to her a vast treasure-house of books   
which will add both to her usefulness   
and happiness4  ,some of you may think  

it is artful in me to propose this broad
 education under the pretense of        
requiring that one learn to read1 but it
 is not so4 ,i do believe in a very     
broad education for girls2 but if ,i had
 to choose between a broad education    
which had crammed a girl with knowledge1
 yet left her without a love for good   
reading1 and a very narrow one which had
 awakened that thirst1 ,i should choose 
the second4  ,but why do ,i call this a 
practical education8 ,before ,i answer  
the question1 ,i must say more on the   
subject of reading4 ,a girl may enjoy   
biography1 history1 travels1 and science
 and yet not have a taste for the best  
reading1 that is1 for true literature4  
,she needs essays1 novels1 and          
especially poetry4 ,she needs to be able
 to decide what is best and what is not2
 she must learn to respond to beauty and
 truth1 and to repel what is false and  
ugly4 ,this is the practical education1 
because it bears upon both happiness and
 character4 ,it is practical as it makes

 the most of life not only for the woman
 herself1 but for those about her4 ,bear
 in mind always that we have supposed   
her to have a high character and a      
perfectly trained will4 ,such reading   
will develop her judgment as to what is 
right4  ,but some women like to read too
 well4 ,their will is not perfectly     
trained1 and they would rather think out
 a domestic problem than act it out4    
,the education of books alone is so     
one-sided that we cannot consider it    
practical2 it must be supplemented by   
cooking and sewing4  ,at our present    
stage of progress cooking is more       
important than sewing4 ,sewing can be   
more easily put out of the house than   
cooking2 and in any emergency sewing may
 be neglected from week to week without 
serious consequences1 while cooking must
 go on every day4 ,moreover1 cooking is 
by far the more healthful occupation1   
and one of the aims of a practical      
education is to make healthy women4  ,i 
do not glorify cooking4 ,i do not think 

a good cook is the highest type of      
woman4 ,i do not even think it is the   
duty of every woman to cook4 ,but       
cooking is certainly practical1         
ninety-nine women in a hundred have     
occasion some time in their lives for   
this accomplishment1 and if they are    
married it is nearly indispensable for  
them to have a knowledge of it for the  
comfort of their families4  ,few women  
are born to be cooks1 but most          
intelligent women can learn to cook4 ,it
 saves immense labor1 however1 if as    
girls they learn the art4 ,it is        
singular that so many who fancy they    
want to be chemists hate the idea of    
going into their own kitchens to work4  
,it is possibly because they cannot     
choose their own hours for cooking4     
,cooking certainly develops the mind as 
much as chemical experiments1 and at the
 end of the process you have something  
of direct service to mankind1 which may 
or may not be the case with work done in
 the laboratory4  ,cooking1 sewing1 and 

housekeeping are essential for any      
woman1 married or unmarried1 who wishes 
to make a home1 and a home is the       
practical goal of the majority of women4
 ,a woman who is neat and intelligent   
generally proves to be a good           
housekeeper without special instruction2
 but with cooking and sewing1 ,who      
wishes to be a master must begin        
betimes4  ,arithmetic is a science which
 a girl needs to understand             
thoroughly--not necessarily business    
arithmetic1 which she can learn if      
occasion requires1 but the principles of
 arithmetic1 and she should be able to  
work in numbers quickly and accurately4 
,the tide of opinion is against me here4
 ,a boy must know arithmetic of course1 
or how can he fulfill his destiny and   
make money8 ,but a girl6 ,nevertheless1 
no woman can manage a household         
properly1 or even guide her own affairs 
as a single woman1 without a good       
knowledge of arithmetic4 ,her money will
 be wasted1 her servants will cheat her1

 tradespeople will be demoralized by    
her4 ,there may be so much money at her 
command that she goes on serenely       
unaware of harm4 ,she may perform feats 
of charity1 but what was meant to be a  
blessing becomes a curse through her    
ignorance4  ,a millionaire who meant to 
give his daughter every advantage began 
as usual with a ,french nurse and a     
,german maid and a music master who     
could command a fabulous price1 while he
 engaged an artist of distinction to    
oversee her untidy attempts at drawing4 
,at last he remembered that she ought to
 have a teacher in ,english1 and a lady 
was engaged to teach grammar and        
literature and history4 ,and arithmetic8
 she asked4 ,a little1 perhaps4 ,girls  
need very little4  ,the millionaire's   
daughter came to take her lesson--a     
bright1 handsome girl1 full of good     
nature4 ,i hate arithmetic1 you know1   
she said confidingly1 shrugging her     
shoulders and puckering her brows4 ,and 
then1 what's the good of it for a girl8 

,the teacher did not argue the question1
 but began her task4 ,if thirteen yards 
of ribbon cost #c4be1 how much will one 
yard cost8 ,as doing this problem in her
 mind was quite out of ,miss ,malvina's 
power1 she was allowed paper and pencil4
 ,she wrinkled her forehead1 curled her 
lip1 looked up and laughed1 ,i haven't  
the faintest idea1 don't you know8 ,a   
few judicious questions led her to see  
the necessity of dividing #c4be by #ac1 
and she went to work4 ,after a season of
 struggle her countenance cleared4 ,upon
 my word1 ,i've got the answer--#be6    
,twenty-five what8                      
,twenty-five--why--twenty-five dollars6 
,wouldn't that be rather high for       
ribbon8 asked the teacher4 ,oh1 ,i don't
 know1 replied ,miss ,malvina           
carelessly4 ,i'll tell you1 she added   
triumphantly2 ,i should tell them to    
give me the best1 and ,i suppose they   
would know what ,i ought to pay4 ,this  
is hardly an extreme case4 ,in the      
public schools the girls still learn    

arithmetic1--perhaps they spend too much
 strength upon it for the practical     
mastery they get2 but in private schools
 the best of teachers find it almost    
impossible to give girls a working      
knowledge of the subject1 because the   
tide of feeling is so strong against it4
  ,by and by ,miss ,malvina's father    
found himself having trouble with his   
workmen4 ,there were strikes4 ,the      
family received threatening letters4    
,malvina's rosy cheeks grew pale4 ,i    
don't know what they want1 she said     
forlornly4 ,they say we are all so      
extravagant4 ,i don't know what         
difference that makes to them if we pay 
for what we buy4 ,we never hurt them4 ,i
 wish we were not rich at all4 ,it would
 be much nicer to be poor4 ,i should    
like to be a--what is it8--a            
commoner--or a communist or something4  
,then nobody would be envious4  ,now    
there was not a more generous girl in   
the world than ,malvina4 ,if she had    
been afloat on a raft after a shipwreck 

she would have been the one to give up  
her last ration of water to any one who 
needed it more4 ,she was ready to pour  
out money in any case of distress1 but  
she had no idea of its value1 and none  
of her charities prospered1 except so   
far as her rosy1 good-natured face could
 be seen1 for that1 to be sure1 did good
 like a medicine4  ,and she was not a   
stupid girl1 though certainly not       
brilliant in mathematics4 ,if she had   
been taught that arithmetic is          
positively needed by every girl1 rich or
 poor1 she could have learned all she   
needed to know of figures to make her   
life a blessing to hundreds of people   
whom she only injured for lack of such  
knowledge4  ,a vast amount of the daily 
comfort of people of narrow means       
depends on the understanding the mother 
of a family has of accounts1 so that the
 real needs and pleasures may be        
provided for without the contraction of 
debt4 ,in a rich family the burden of   
the mother's incapacity for figures does

 not fall directly on those dearest to  
her1 but it has unconsciously a far     
greater weight in the world at large1   
and is one of the chief among the       
unrecognized elements causing the       
increasing bitterness between the rich  
and the poor4  ,let every girl1 rich or 
poor1 be required to keep her own       
accounts accurately from the time she is
 old enough to have an allowance of even
 ten cents a month1 and there would be a
 perceptible amelioration in some of the
 hardest of present conditions4  ,i     
believe that some music should be       
included in a practical                 
education1--certainly if a girl has a   
taste for it4 ,the ability to sing hymns
 and ballads1 and to play accompaniments
 well1 adds so much to the happiness of 
a woman herself1 and usually to that of 
her family1 that it ought to be         
considered as something more than an    
accomplishment4 ,i should not wish to be
 understood as limiting a musical       
education to these requirements4 ,i     

should like to have every girl carry her
 education as far as she can without    
neglecting duties she feels more        
important4 ,even when she has no musical
 talent1 but merely a love for music1   
though she cannot give much pleasure to 
others1 ,i think she may get an         
elevation of mind from stumbling through
 ,beethoven and ,wagner which is worth  
the time she spends4 ,still1 ,i think   
singing is of more practical use than   
instrumental music1 and the power to    
play simple things well which is so rare
 is in most cases more to the purpose   
than to stumble through ,beethoven and  
,wagner4  ,drawing is practical as it   
trains the eye and hand1 but unpractical
 if it leads a girl to think her        
commonplace pictures are works of art4  
,it seems to me that a good way for     
girls to study art is for them to look  
at good pictures with older people who  
have taste and judgment1 because this   
gives them new resources of enjoyment4  
,of course when a girl has special      

talent she needs the training which will
 give her the power to produce1 but this
 chapter is devoted to the general      
education of girls4  ,every girl should 
study at least one science4 ,science    
trains the mind in a different way from 
other studies4 ,and one science sheds   
light on all the rest4 ,then1 anything  
which puts cheap pleasures within our   
reach is a safeguard and a blessing4    
,the happiness of life is no light      
thing1 and those who have tested it know
 how much simple happiness comes from   
the pursuit of botany or ornithology or 
mineralogy4  ,it would be a great thing 
if every woman could be so well educated
 that she could teach her own children1 
at least the main branches1 up to the   
time when they are twelve years old4    
,this is by no means saying that it is  
not well for many children to be sent to
 school1 but it is calling attention to 
a great privilege which some mothers and
 some children may enjoy4 ,what ought a 
woman to be able to teach her children8 

,to read1 in the broad sense1 to write a
 legible hand1 and to speak correctly4  
,she ought to be able to teach them     
arithmetic1 and also the rudiments of   
one science1 to give them in early life 
the right outlook upon the world around 
them4 ,she ought particularly to be able
 to give them fine manners1 but these   
belong to the moral training which was  
spoken of at the beginning of the       
chapter4 ,they do bear1 however1 on that
 part of the social life which may not  
be distinctly moral1 but which is of    
high practical importance to one's      
success in life1 as well as to one's    
happiness4 ,many of the noblest women   
are shy and awkward except with their   
special friends1 and so are unfitted for
 practical life4 ,mothers should        
remember this and make a determined     
effort to give children the practice of 
meeting many people1 though1 of course1 
the kind of people and the conditions   
under which they are to be met require  
careful consideration4  ,as for the     

entirely moral qualities which          
contribute most to what is usually      
called success in the world1 they are   
probably courage1 good temper1          
thoughtfulness for others1 perseverance1
 and trustworthiness4  ,and all this    
time ,i have said nothing of any use to 
be made of education in earning a       
living4 ,yet is not that just what our  
education must do if it is to be        
practical8 ,i do not ignore this1 and   
shall have more to say of self-support  
elsewhere4 ,but on the principle that we
 eat to live rather than live to eat1 ,i
 think even from a practical standpoint 
the full development of a woman is of   
more consequence than the amount of     
money she can earn4 ,as far as the mere 
living goes1 a practical woman can live 
better on a little money than an        
unpractical one on much4 ,when her      
practicality comes from the high quality
 of her character1 she will lead the    
best possible life whether she be rich  
or poor1 and ,i believe the kind of     

culture ,i have outlined in this chapter
 will do something to add happiness to  
goodness and usefulness4     ,,iv4      
,,self-,,support4--,,shall ,,girls      
,,support ,,themselves8   ,i ,once knew 
an agreeable girl whose great failing   
was her self-conceit4 ,she was sure she 
could do everything anybody could do4   
,as she did not look down on other      
people's efforts1 she was amusing rather
 than annoying4 ,she was always ready to
 write a poem1 or sing a song1 or paint 
a picture1 and as she was a society girl
 and lived in a grand house1 her little 
doings were often favorably mentioned in
 the local papers1 so she may be        
pardoned for believing she had a variety
 of talents1 though nobody who read her 
poems or heard her songs agreed with    
her4  ,then came a crisis in her        
affairs4 ,she was thrown on her         
resources without a moment's warning4   
,she had to earn her living or starve4  
,she had plenty of energy1 and was      
willing to work4 ,she took a rapid      

review of her powers4 ,then the scales  
fell from her eyes4 ,she felt very      
doubtful if there was one among her     
accomplishments which would furnish     
bread for her4 ,she would have said that
 all her conceit was gone4 ,but it was  
not so4 ,as her need was so urgent1 she 
tried to find work first in one way and 
then in another4 ,she was prepared to   
have the editors reject her manuscripts1
 and she was not surprised that she     
could not sell her pictures2 but it was 
amazing to be told that her grammar and 
spelling were faulty1 and it was hard to
 see the amusement in the faces of the  
art-dealers when they regarded her most 
cherished paintings4  ,no woman can earn
 a living without some mortifying       
experiences1 but the more conceited she 
is the more such experiences she meets1 
because she is inclined to attempt      
things preposterously beyond her4 ,so   
this poor girl who had always held her  
head high was snubbed by everybody2 she 
was told the truth with brutal          

frankness1 and in time she learned her  
lesson4 ,she was not a dull girl nor a  
weak girl4 ,there was one thing she     
could do well at the outset1 though she 
had so little discrimination in regard  
to herself that it did not occur to her 
that this would be her lever for moving 
the world4 ,she was a beautiful         
housekeeper4  ,she remembered this      
finally and acted accordingly4 ,i cannot
 say that she enjoyed her experience    
with a series of widowers1 but she did  
her work well and was paid for it4 ,she 
also had a talent--strange to say it was
 for drawing4 ,she did not realize this 
either1 for she could not discriminate  
enough to see that her amateur work as  
an artist was at all different from her 
amateur singing and playing4 ,at first  
she had thought she could do everything 
well1 and then she thought she could do 
nothing well4 ,but by slow degrees1 and 
through much tribulation1 she began to  
set her faculties in order1 and when she
 found her germ of a talent she         

cultivated it4 ,ten years later she was 
able to support herself as an engraver4 
,by this time her one fault had         
vanished4 ,she was simple and modest and
 self-respecting1 while she retained the
 courage and cheerfulness which had made
 her attractive as a girl4 ,if you wish 
to cure a girl of conceit1 she once said
 to a friend1 let her try to earn her   
living4 ,as long as she does not ask to 
be paid1 everybody will praise her work1
 but let her offer to sell her services 
and then see6  ,i have not told this    
story to discourage girls who wish to be
 independent1 but to show them the      
difficulties in their way4 ,there is no 
doubt that every girl should be able to 
support herself4 ,this very case makes  
it clear4 ,but it does not seem to me   
equally clear that every girl should    
support herself1 and certainly1 if she  
does1 it requires great judgment to     
select the way4  ,fifty years ago women 
were very dependent1 but now many       
avenues are open to them1 and perhaps   

they have been urged almost too much to 
earn their own living4 ,i will therefore
 speak of some circumstances in which it
 seems to me a girl is to be excused    
from that4  #a4 ,if she is rich1 ,i     
think there are two objections to her   
earning money4 ,one is trite and has    
been often answered4 ,she should not    
take the bread out of the mouths of     
those who need it4 ,i do not think this 
a very strong objection1 because every  
one who works and produces anything adds
 to the wealth of the world1 and sets   
others free to work for new ends4 ,but  
one can do good service1 without working
 for money1 and1 in point of fact1 a    
woman who chooses any of the common ways
 of earning money usually does shut out 
some one else4  ,to illustrate3 ,i knew 
two school-girls who were classmates1   
both excellent girls4 ,martha was the   
best scholar in school4 ,lucy was rather
 dull1 though not conspicuously so4     
,martha wished to teach1 as her mother  
was a widow and poor4 ,she applied for a

 situation in a neighboring town1 but   
was told that some one had been before  
her1 and though the matter was not then 
decided1 the school was at last given to
 the first-comer1 who proved to be      
,lucy4 ,lucy's father was a well-to-do  
merchant whose name was known to the    
committee1 and this settled the         
question4 ,lucy herself was quite       
innocent4 ,she had no wish to interfere 
with ,martha4 ,nor had she any special  
wish to teach4 ,but she wanted a new    
silk dress1 and she thought she should  
like to earn it4 ,her friends said she  
showed the right spirit and encouraged  
her4 ,martha and her mother suffered the
 most pinching poverty while ,lucy was  
earning her dress1 and when ,martha at  
last found a place she proved to be a   
wonderful teacher1 while ,lucy was a    
commonplace one4 ,it might1 of course1  
have been the other way4 ,if ,lucy had  
been the gifted girl1 then she certainly
 ought to have used her gifts1 but not  
necessarily for money4  ,this is one of 

many instances which lead me to think   
that if girls who are rich try to earn  
money they crowd out those who are      
poorer4 ,they do1 however1 gain some    
things so valuable as almost to offset  
this objection2 for instance1 they are  
cured of conceit4 ,i shall return to    
this subject4  ,the other objection to  
the earning of money by the rich is1    
that there is so much work to be done in
 the world which cannot in the nature of
 things be done by those who have to    
earn their living1 that the rich cannot 
be spared for ordinary occupations4 ,i  
shall give a special chapter to the work
 of the leisure classes4  #b4 ,there are
 many families of moderate means where  
one daughter1 at least1 can be supported
 at home without great sacrifices on the
 part of any one4 ,this is true of      
almost every family where a servant is  
kept1 for a mother and daughter together
 can usually do the work of a family    
more quickly and better than the mother 
and a servant4 ,now1 if a girl has      

domestic tastes and is willing to work  
at home1 it seems to me better for her  
to stay there1 even with very little    
money1 than to try to make herself      
independent elsewhere4 ,if her tastes   
are not domestic1 it changes the case   
entirely4 ,then let her go out and use  
the powers which have been given her4   
#c4 ,a girl is sometimes needed at home 
by an invalid father or mother1 or she  
can help the children or make them      
happy4 ,no general rule can be laid     
down1 because no two cases are alike1   
but it is often true that a girl ought  
to give up not only earning money1 but  
even using some of her powers1 for the  
sake of doing still better work at home4
 ,and there are multitudes of instances 
in which she should not be urged to     
leave home unless she wishes it4        
,practically a home life is a good      
preparation for marriage1 which will be 
the lot of most girls4 ,but though it is
 a good preparation1 it is not the best4
 ,every girl needs a broader outlook on 

life than she can get in her own home4  
,if she is rich she can choose her way  
of getting it1 by travel1 or in         
charities1 or even through society4 ,but
 the best knowledge of the world is     
gained through the attempt to support   
herself4 ,if her occupation takes her   
into new sections of country1 it also   
develops her just as travel might do4   
,i am inclined to think that the ideal  
preparation for marriage would demand   
half a dozen years between school and   
the wedding-day1 divided into three     
parts1 given in order to a home life1 to
 self-support1 and to travel4  ,it is   
often said that a girl ought actually to
 support herself before she can be      
fitted to do so in case of an emergency4
 ,i remember the daughter of a wealthy  
man who went into a counting-room and   
worked several years for this reason4   
,her father said that as soon as she    
could live on the income she earned he  
thought the experiment would have       
succeeded and she might return home4 ,at

 first it seemed as if it never would   
succeed4 ,she was a good accountant and 
earned a fair salary4 ,but she had been 
accustomed to spend more than most girls
 can earn1 and she was loth to reduce   
her expenses just when she was working  
for money4 ,by the end of the second    
year1 however1 she began to be tired of 
her work1 so she rigorously kept within 
her salary for the third year1 and then 
retired4 ,her experiment had been       
infinitely easier than if she had been  
obliged to make it without having other 
resources1 but she had learned valuable 
lessons4  ,it seems to me that if a girl
 who need not work for money does so she
 will do well to live on what she earns1
 at least for a time4 ,to earn an extra 
silk dress does not seem an adequate    
object4 ,i think if our accountant had  
gone on many years as she began she     
would not only have taken the place     
needed by some one else1 but she would  
have made other accountants discontented
 because they could not dress as she    

did4 ,she would have raised the standard
 of luxury among them without adding    
anything to their power to reach it4  ,i
 knew a young lady with a narrow income 
who for that reason chose to teach in a 
large school where several other        
teachers were employed at the same      
salary1 namely1 six hundred dollars4    
,everybody praised her judgment and     
taste1 for she appeared to be able to do
 so much more than the rest with her    
money4 ,everybody said that six hundred 
dollars was a fine salary for anybody   
who had the wit to use it4 ,some thought
 a general reduction of salaries would  
not be amiss4 ,nobody knew of her       
reserve4 ,the other teachers tried their
 best to do as well1 but they grew      
discouraged and envious4 ,of course she 
was not to blame1 but ,i think that in  
general the common welfare is best      
served when the wage-workers live on    
what they earn1 at least while they are 
earning it4 ,the surplus can be laid    
aside for the time when they are at     

leisure4   ,but although ,i do not think
 that all girls should be urged to      
support themselves1 the majority must do
 so1 or they will burden others4 ,there 
is also a large class of women who do   
not absolutely need to earn money1 who  
nevertheless will be better and happier 
to do so4 ,independence is very sweet1  
and even if for love's sake a woman     
chooses to give it up1 it is more       
inspiring to make a deliberate sacrifice
 of it than to be dependent because she 
must be4 ,all homes are not happy1 even 
where the members of the family love    
each other and have a general purpose to
 do right4 ,perhaps it may be said that 
few young people are satisfied          
thoroughly with their homes4 ,would it  
not mean the destruction of the ideal if
 they were8 ,it would be terrible to    
them to have the home broken up1 and    
they do love their parents1 but they    
think they could manage better1 and may 
be right in thinking so4  ,now1 if a    
girl at home has this feeling of unrest1

 she may be too ready to marry the first
 suitor1 because she thinks more about  
the ideal home she can make than about  
the husband4 ,if1 on the contrary1 she  
goes away and earns her living1 she will
 look around her with less prejudiced   
eyes4 ,if her home is really unhappy1   
she will be free from it4 ,if its       
troubles are merely superficial1 she    
will find this out as soon as she       
compares it with other homes4 ,if she   
has not been willing to meet her share  
of trial and responsibility1 she will   
now find that a change of place has not 
set her free1 for the trouble was in    
herself4 ,when she does go back to her  
home it will be with very different     
appreciation of it4  ,when a girl has   
become a woman her instinct leads her to
 long to be at the head of her own home1
 whether she is married or unmarried4   
,to be absolute mistress even of one    
room in a lodging-house at the end of a 
day's labor is often better to her than 
to be at the call of everybody in her   

father's beautiful home where she is    
supposed to be at leisure all day4 ,and 
this is right4 ,if a girl has been badly
 trained1 how can she help thinking she 
may do better than her mother does8 ,if 
she has been well trained1 she ought to 
be able to do better than her mother1   
for every generation begins at a higher 
point than the preceding4 ,she has much 
of her mother's experience to help her  
while she is still fresh and strong and 
enthusiastic4 ,there are very few women 
between the ages of twenty-five and     
forty who can be thoroughly contented in
 any home of which they are not the     
mistress1 however patiently and nobly   
they may conceal their feelings4 ,after 
forty they are often so tired as to be  
glad of any kind of a home4  ,then there
 are women with special gifts4 ,i am    
thinking now of one who had a fortune1  
and yet chose to do the hard work of a  
physician4 ,she had the aptitude for the
 work and the means for thorough study4 
,she was among the most skillful        

physicians of her native city4 ,she     
saved many lives1 and relieved much     
suffering4 ,she gave her priceless      
services to hundreds of poor people1 but
 she did not give to those who could pay
 for them4 ,i think she was altogether  
right4 ,the world was better because she
 used her gift1 and she was happier1 as 
all are who exercise their powers4      
,perhaps she blocked the way of less    
fortunate physicians4 ,but this was     
because she gave a better gift than they
 could give4 ,certainly she had a right 
to give it even to the rich whose money 
could only buy a part of it4 ,if she had
 served the rich without taking their   
money1 she would not only have sapped   
their self-respect1 but she would have  
been a more formidable obstacle in the  
way of poorer physicians4 ,she would    
have been offering a premium in money to
 those who employed her1 whereas the    
only premium she had a right to offer   
was her superior skill4 ,it was because 
she could give priceless services that  

she had so clear a right to fix a price 
which she did not need4  ,suppose       
another woman her equal by nature1 but  
who had not had the means for so        
complete an education1 was set aside    
because she could not compete with one  
who had both the nature and the         
education1--even then the case would not
 be altered1 for still the richer woman 
had a higher gift to give than the      
poorer one4 ,it would be a bitter trial 
to the poorer woman to be met only by   
philosophy and religion2 but if she were
 a just woman1 she could not say that   
her rich rival had not done right4      
,when a beautiful young society woman of
 ,boston consents to play at a concert  
every one feels it to be right1 because 
few people can play so exquisitely4     
,when she gives her services for some   
charity there is an especial fitness in 
it1 since those who go to hear her wish 
to pay the high prices for the rare     
treat1 and would still wish to do so if 
she were to keep the money for herself4 

,but if she plays at a symphony concert1
 she certainly has a right to be paid as
 others are4 ,that is a matter of       
self-respect4 ,why should she compete   
with other musicians on any unnatural   
basis8  ,these instances will show what 
,i mean by saying that a rich woman who 
has a great gift has a right to use it  
in earning money1 when if the gift were 
smaller she might not be justified4     
,there are some qualities which are     
gained by self-support better than in   
any other way4 ,by receiving money in   
return for service1 we learn what our   
service is worth to others4 ,we learn   
what we can do and what we cannot do4   
,we exchange self-conceit for           
self-respect4 ,with a true estimate of  
ourselves we learn how to estimate      
others more correctly4 ,we learn the    
real needs of the world and the way to  
meet them4 ,in a word1 we learn justice4
  ,it is generally supposed that the    
qualities in which men are superior to  
women are justice and courage4 ,courage1

 too1 is cultivated by self-support4 ,a 
woman who daily faces the outside world 
may not be braver than one who faces the
 little world at home1 but she probably 
will be4 ,at the last moment the woman  
at home may sometimes shirk a task which
 seems formidable to her1 though she may
 be ashamed of her cowardice2 but a     
woman who has agreed to do a certain    
thing for a certain sum of money cannot 
shirk1 however frightened she may be1   
and by degrees she learns to subdue her 
terror and go cheerfully and calmly to  
her work4  ,furthermore1 a woman who    
earns her money generally spends it more
 wisely than when it is given to her4   
,she may not be as economical in all    
ways perhaps2 but if she chooses to     
spend three dollars for a ,wagner opera 
ticket when she has a shabby bonnet1    
because she loves music1 she may be     
putting the true emphasis on her        
purchase1 which she might not dare to do
 if some one else supplied the money4   
,on the whole1 ,i am inclined to think  

that most unmarried women1 as well as   
many who are married1 should support    
themselves4 ,where the necessity exists1
 it is base to shrink from doing one's  
part4 ,when others of the family must   
endure privation to keep her at home1 it
 is seldom that home is a girl's place4 
,but ,i would not have a girl too eager 
to support herself4 ,and ,i would not   
have her urged unless there is          
necessity4 ,above all1 ,i would guard   
her from illusions4  ,it is not easy to 
earn one's living4 ,it is true there are
 some delightful modes of making money  
open to the fortunate few4 ,but if one  
earns all one spends1--which is the     
meaning of earning a living1--there will
 always be hardships to meet4 ,it is not
 best to anticipate trouble1 but it is  
cruel to let any girl try to make her   
way in the world with the fancy that it 
will be easy4 ,yet most must make their 
own way1 and perhaps most of these have 
a fair share of happiness1 for there are
 compensations in all work done in the  

right spirit4     ,v4                   
,,self-,,support--,,how ,,shall ,,girls 
,,support ,,themselves8   ,and now how  
shall a girl choose her occupation8 ,and
 how shall she be fitted for it8  ,if   
she has a superb voice she may sing4 ,if
 she has undoubted genius in any        
direction her decision is easy1 whatever
 difficulty there may be in getting her 
education4 ,most people1 however1 have  
not genius4 ,they can do some things    
better than others1 and it is of great  
importance to their success and         
happiness that they should be able to   
use their natural powers to the best    
advantage4 ,still their gifts are not   
great enough to be perfectly clear at   
sight4 ,it is only by careful           
cultivation that they become really     
available1 and if a mistake is made in  
the line of one's education it is hard  
to repair it4  ,i think the course ,i   
have already described as practical for 
girls should be the foundation for the  
education of all girls1 save in a few   

exceptional cases4 ,if1 in the end1 a   
girl marries1 her reading and cooking   
and housekeeping are all necessary4 ,how
 can she use these homely               
accomplishments in earning a living8    
,they will not1 to be sure1 bring her a 
large income1 but there is a steadier   
demand for good work in these directions
 than in any others4 ,so a woman who has
 them is almost sure of a modest        
support4 ,she need not go out to service
 to be a cook4 ,who has seen the        
dignified and refined ,mrs4 ,lincoln    
giving lessons at the cooking-school    
without realizing that cooking may be a 
fine art1 or who has read the cook-book 
of ,mrs4 ,richards without perceiving   
that cooking may be an intellectual     
pursuit8  ,but these women are          
exceptions4 ,i will take a humbler      
example4 ,i knew at school a stylish1   
energetic girl who was too dull to learn
 her lessons1 but who had the air of    
polish which comes from association with
 educated people4 ,half a dozen years   

later she found herself obliged to earn 
her living4 ,she had a little money1 and
 she risked it in leasing a good house  
on a good city street which she filled  
with boarders4 ,she worked very hard1   
and she had much to discourage and      
disgust her4 ,but she knew how such a   
house ought to be kept1 and she had the 
determination to keep it in that way4   
,it will be seen that she was a rare    
landlady4 ,some landladies do not know  
how a house ought to be kept1 and some  
have no clear purpose of keeping it as  
it ought to be kept when they do know   
the way4 ,therefore she had great       
success4 ,there were always two         
applicants for every vacant room4       
,higher and higher prices were offered  
her4 ,at last she bought her house4     
,then she laid aside money4 ,by and by  
she had a comfortable fortune4 ,she     
might then have retired from business1  
but she chose to go on4 ,during the     
first five years of her career her      
experience had been so bitter that only 

necessity kept her at her post4 ,but now
 she had learned how to meet her        
difficulties1 and it was a real pleasure
 to her to see how well she could do her
 work4 ,it was the work she was born to 
do1 as certainly as ,raphael was born to
 paint pictures4  ,few women are so     
successful2 but at the present stage of 
the world ,i think it is true that no   
woman who thoroughly understands cooking
 and housekeeping need fear that she    
cannot support herself if she must4 ,i  
knew a lady who excelled in these arts  
who was able to help her husband in     
establishing a school4 ,he was a fine   
teacher1 but too individual to work well
 in most schools4 ,she took a dozen     
young people into the house and gave    
them a delightful home4 ,her husband    
earned the living of the family1 and a  
very good living1 too4 ,she did little  
work with her hands1 and an assistant   
teacher was employed to care for the    
pupils out of school4 ,the housekeeping 
took but little time1 and the lady was  

apparently almost as free as when her   
husband had been struggling along in a  
high school4 ,but she understood so well
 what was needed that a word here and a 
look there kept all things smooth1 and  
her husband who had seemed on the brink 
of ruin came out a successful man4  ,but
 all who can manage their own homes     
cannot manage those of others1 even if  
they are willing to do so4 ,suppose with
 all her practical education our girl   
never shines as a cook or a housekeeper6
 ,i have suggested that she should be so
 thoroughly grounded in primary school  
work that she could teach her own       
children till they are twelve years old4
 ,then1 if she has the natural power to 
discipline1 she can1 if need be1 teach a
 primary school4 ,now the number of     
primary schools to be taught is vastly  
greater than in any other grade1 because
 all pupils must begin at the foot of   
the ladder1 though most of them do not  
climb to the top4 ,and it is doubtful   
whether competition among teachers of   

primary grades is proportionately great4
 ,i have heard of a leading normal      
school principal who decided to train   
his own daughter for primary work1      
because his experience showed him there 
was always a demand for such work4 ,he  
said truly1 ,there are few schools which
 will pay much for unusual learning4    
,executive ability and tact in imparting
 knowledge are most wanted1 together1 of
 course1 with thorough grounding in the 
rudimentary branches4  ,his daughter had
 both taste and talent for higher       
studies4 ,he wished her to indulge her  
taste4 ,but1 he added1 she must buy this
 higher knowledge as she would any other
 luxury1 and not delude herself with the
 idea that it will make much difference 
with her power of earning money4 ,if she
 earns her living by primary work1 which
 requires little study out of school1   
she will have leisure to pursue her own 
tastes4 ,of course she may thus in time 
be fitted for higher work1 and she may  
prefer to do it1 and may even earn more 

money by it1 but she will then do the   
work because it is her natural choice   
and not for the sake of the money4 ,so  
altogether ,i believe that any girl who 
has the foundation education which will 
fit her for a home life will also be    
able to earn a respectable living if the
 need arises4  ,i would not1 however1   
have her stop there4 ,a woman who has to
 work wishes to work to the best        
advantage1 both as to the amount of     
money she earns1 and the quality of the 
work she does4 ,i believe every girl    
should have the simple solid foundation 
,i have indicated1 but ,i also think    
that in most cases a superstructure     
should be reared upon it1 and that there
 should be almost as many forms of      
superstructure as there are individuals4
 ,therefore1 in choosing your occupation
 ,i will suggest this rule3 ,do not     
despise the lowest drudgery which comes 
plainly in your way2 but always choose  
the highest work you are able to do4    
,for example1 ,i knew a highly educated 

young lady who found it necessary to    
teach4 ,she hated the work1 as many     
teachers do1 and yet she had a fine1    
forcible character1 so that she did her 
work well4 ,one day in a moment of      
vexation she was heard to exclaim1 ,i   
would rather be a waiter in a restaurant
 than teach school6 ,now it happened    
that one of her pupils did become a     
waiter in the very restaurant which had 
called out the remark4 ,and she made an 
excellent waiter4 ,her apron was always 
clean and her hair was always smooth4   
,she was quick and quiet in filling an  
order1 and modest and self-possessed and
 sweet-tempered4 ,she did her work well 
and used her leisure well1 and she      
deserved great praise4 ,but in her case 
this was the best work open to her4 ,she
 was a hopelessly dull scholar1 and she 
was awkward with her needle4 ,nor did   
she have the kind of mind necessary to  
direct others4 ,she could not have      
conducted a boarding-house4 ,she could1 
however1 do her own little bit of work  

well4 ,now what was fine in her would   
not have been fine in the teacher4 ,to  
be sure1 it is a pity to teach if one   
hates it1 more of a pity than to do some
 mechanical work1 because there is      
danger that the feeling may react upon  
the scholars4 ,still1 this woman had the
 necessary self-control to do this good 
work4 ,on the other hand1 she was not   
attracted to any inferior work for its  
own sake4 ,she would have made an       
excellent duchess4 ,her talents as well 
as her tastes fitted her for such a     
life4 ,but she had to earn her living1  
and so far as she or her friends could  
see there was no direction in which she 
could work without finding it           
intolerable4 ,and so it seems to me she 
did right to choose the best work open  
to her and do it as well as she could1  
and ,i think if she had forsaken the    
school-room for the restaurant she would
 not have done what was best either for 
herself or for others4  ,i have known an
 ignorant woman who kept a lodging-house

 with such devotion that it was like a  
work of art4 ,its purity and freshness1 
its warmth and light had a charm beyond 
that of comfort4 ,such work is to be    
done1 and it is not often done well1    
because the woman who does it is below  
rather than above her task4 ,let the    
great soul incarnated in some woman's   
form1 poor and sad and single1 in some  
,dolly or ,joan1 go out to service1 and 
sweep chambers and scour floors1 and its
 effulgent day beams cannot be muffled  
or hid1 but to sweep and scour will     
instantly appear supreme and beautiful  
actions1 the top and radiance of human  
life1 and all people will get mops and  
brooms2 until lo1 suddenly the great    
soul has enshrined itself in some other 
form and done some other deed1 and that 
is now the flower and head of all living
 nature4  ,the lower work must be done1 
and often by the highest natures4 ,it   
must then be done willingly and with a  
recognition that it can be made a work  
of art4 ,but it should be deliberately  

chosen only by those to whom it is the  
highest work4 ,i have in mind a young   
man who might have been a musician1 but 
he would not practice1 so he became a   
shoemaker4 ,he had to work harder as a  
shoemaker than he would have done as a  
musician1 but it was from hand to mouth4
 ,he did not have to work steadily      
towards a future good4 ,he had no gift  
but that of music1 so that even if he   
had been a musician he would have ranked
 far lower in the scale of manhood than 
the shoemakers of the village2 but he   
would have done the best he could do1   
while as a shoemaker he was despicable4 
,i knew a good teacher1 capable of      
taking responsibility1 who hated it so  
that she gave up work the moment she had
 acquired a miserable pittance4 ,she    
lived ever after a pinched life1 whose  
chief source of happiness to herself was
 the negative satisfaction of escaping  
responsibility2 for she was too poor to 
gratify any of her many beautiful       
tastes4 ,she had the power to lead a    

large1 full life1 but she had not the   
will and courage to meet the obstacles  
in her way4 ,she chose instead to stunt 
herself and be a drudge4 ,she swept her 
poor rooms clean1 and she was willing to
 sweep them1 but ,i do not think she    
swept them as to ,god's law1 for though 
she often made them fine1 ,i do not     
think she made the action fine4  ,but   
such a case is rare4 ,more people choose
 work too high for them4 ,we all like to
 think we have some touch of genius1    
though we may be discreet enough not to 
say so4 ,but few of us have talents at  
all equal to our tastes1 and we must    
beware of trying to get our livelihood  
in the direction of our tastes rather   
than of our talents4  ,one girl in ten  
thousand has the voice of a prima donna4
 ,ten other girls in ten thousand have  
voices so good that they believe them to
 be like that of a prima donna4 ,the    
first will succeed beyond her wildest   
dreams4 ,she will have fame and fortune4
 ,the other ten will have some success1 

success which will seem great to the    
lookers on1 but they will have          
heart-breaking disappointments within   
their own breasts4 ,a hundred girls in  
the ten thousand have more talent for   
music than for most other things1 and if
 they are well educated1 they may       
perhaps make a good living as teachers1 
church singers1 organists1 or           
accompanists4 ,this is not what they    
hoped1 but they do the work that belongs
 to them1 and on the whole may be       
counted successful4 ,another hundred    
like music1 and can learn enough to add 
to their enjoyment and to that of those 
about them4 ,they might even teach      
music1 if the demand for teachers were  
not already filled by those who have a  
greater gift4 ,but now it is clear their
 bread must depend on other work for    
which they have less taste4 ,these are  
the betwixt and between who are always  
fighting a battle between taste and     
talent4 ,they have a compensation1--they
 are less one-sidedly developed than if 

all their talents were concentrated in  
one2 but they hardly realize this4      
,now1 how is the line to be drawn among 
the musical8 ,who are to earn their     
living by music and who are to be       
amateurs8 ,especially as fifty of our   
second hundred can with proper education
 easily excel fifty of the first hundred
 who have less education4 ,who is to    
decide whether it is prudent for a girl 
to spend all she has on a musical       
education with the hope of making       
herself independent in the end8 ,no one 
can decide positively1 but at least do  
not let any girl fancy that she is the  
one of ten thousand or even one of the  
ten4 ,and let her ask for the judgment  
of more than one good musician before   
she is sure she belongs to the first    
hundred4 ,if she loves music supremely1 
it may be worth while for her to spend  
everything on her education1 even if she
 finally has to support herself with her
 needle1 for it will be its own reward1 
and having tried to do what she believed

 to be her best1 even her failure will  
not be a failure of character4  ,if     
there is any occupation delightful in   
itself1 there will always be many people
 who will hope that they have talent    
enough to make it a source of           
livelihood4 ,we all wish to be musicians
 and artists and poets4 ,the most bitter
 disappointments come to those who try  
these paths and fail4 ,it has always    
seemed to me that where bread-winning is
 a necessity1 we ought first to secure  
the means of living in some humbler way1
 and then there may be a chance to      
pursue these higher occupations for     
their own sake1 and not to degrade them 
by false methods which we think will    
bring us money4  ,i have heard of a poor
 girl who had a genius for acting4 ,she 
went out to service while she was       
studying1 she learned how to do         
housework well1 and she had that        
resource always left to her in case she 
should fail on the stage4 ,she          
succeeded1 but she could not have       

succeeded if she had insisted on acting 
at the outset4  ,i knew a girl who had  
ability as a story writer4 ,two         
positions were open to her at the same  
time1 one as a book-keeper1 the other as
 writer for a certain department in a   
third-rate magazine4 ,she chose to be a 
book-keeper1 for she knew that if she   
took the magazine work she must write   
whether in the spirit or not1 and that  
the rank of the magazine was such that  
she would have little encouragement to  
do her best4 ,of course1 as book-keeper 
she had very little leisure4 ,stories   
germinated in her brain which she had no
 time to write2 but when she was        
thoroughly possessed by a story1 she did
 find time to write it1 and her work was
 good4 ,she chose to do the second best 
work for money1 so that her best work   
might not be degraded by the need of    
money4  ,few persons have genius enough 
to undertake any artistic work if they  
have a pressing need for the money they 
are to receive from it4 ,with ever so   

small an income from other sources1 they
 may cheerfully try their best and prove
 what they can do4 ,but with no income  
at all1 they will be too greatly tempted
 to prostitute the talent they have4    
,yet if you cannot paint1 you may grind 
the colors4 ,occasionally our cravings  
for artistic work may partially be      
gratified by doing lower work in the    
same line1 and this may sometimes be a  
foundation for the higher work4  ,a     
young girl had an ardent desire to be an
 elocutionist4 ,she had a good voice1 a 
flexible body1 and some intelligence4   
,she was willing to spend every penny on
 her education4 ,fortunately she had an 
unusually fine teacher1 who told her the
 truth4 ,he said1 ,you could easily     
learn the little tricks of voice and    
gesture which bring applause from       
ignorant people1 and make one blush to  
be called an elocutionist1 but you have 
not the dramatic sense and can never be 
a great reader4 ,what you need to do is 
to study some literary masterpiece till 

you thoroughly appreciate it1 and then  
read it as simply and clearly as        
possible4  ,but would anybody come to   
hear me read8 she asked4  ,i am afraid  
not1 he said2 but you could teach       
reading4  ,this had not been her        
ambition1 but she had an earnest        
character and was willing to read in the
 right way4 ,she did take a place in a  
school and became a power there4 ,she   
taught her scholars how to use the      
breath1 to sit and stand easily and     
gracefully while reading1 to enunciate  
clearly1 and pronounce correctly4       
,moreover1 she taught them to read noble
 poems instead of the flimsy showy      
jingles which had at first attracted    
her4 ,she never made any figure as a    
public reader1 but she did not regret   
serving the art she had learned to      
reverence on a lower plane4  ,but1 some 
one may say1 suppose she had not been   
able to teach6 ,she might not have      
understood the art of controlling       
scholars even if she understood what to 

teach them4 ,in that case she might have
 been a private reader to some elderly  
or infirm person4 ,there is a demand for
 private readers1 but few can fill such 
a place1 though we fancy everybody can  
read4 ,even where there is intelligence 
so that one is a pleasant reader1 there 
are few who can manage the voice well   
enough to read several hours in         
succession as is often desired4  ,a     
woman with artistic tastes will probably
 do better service in studying ways of  
making beautiful homes or in lines of   
decorative work than by striving to     
paint great pictures4 ,let her paint the
 pictures if she is moved to do it and  
has time1 and if they turn out to be    
great pictures that will be well2 but   
until her greatness has been proved1    
would it not be better for her to depend
 for her support on the less ambitious  
departments of her art1 especially as a 
beautifully planned home gives a higher 
artistic pleasure than second-rate      
painting8  ,it is strange that so few   

women are architects4 ,architecture is  
the sublimest of arts1 and yet it has   
room to employ humble talents4 ,a       
practical woman with a love of beauty1 a
 mathematical mind1 and a knowledge of  
mechanical drawing would undoubtedly be 
a great help to an architect in planning
 dwelling-houses4 ,at any rate1 as the  
matter stands at present1 very few      
interiors are either convenient or      
beautiful in proportion to the money    
spent on them4 ,a woman might not plan a
 public building well1 but her help is  
needed in all our homes1 and especially 
in tenement houses4  ,i once knew a     
woman who was a poet4 ,her songs were   
full of beauty and helpfulness1 but     
poetry is not lucrative4 ,she took a    
position as teacher of literature in a  
girls' school4 ,there never had been    
such teaching as hers in the school     
before4 ,she showed the girls the poetic
 meaning of the great writers1 and gave 
them a moral and intellectual impulse   
which lasted through life4 ,sometimes in

 an hour of inspiration she still wrote 
poems4 ,her teaching was so excellent   
that she was sought after in other      
schools4 ,but she found that when she   
undertook too much her spirit flagged4  
,she could still teach1 but she could   
not write4 ,so she went back to her     
first plan4 ,of course it was hard work4
 ,the girls were often dull and         
unsympathetic4 ,yet her study of        
literature helped her in her own great  
purpose of life1 and the contact with   
youth was sometimes an inspiration in   
itself4 ,usually1 however1 teaching is  
an injury to a writer1 because of the   
need of constantly adapting one's self  
to inferior minds4  ,there are few women
 who can devote themselves to pure      
literature1 and few of these can earn a 
living by it2 so1 delightful as it is1  
it can hardly be counted among the      
bread-winning occupations4 ,but if a    
woman thinks she can be satisfied to    
work regularly on a newspaper or a      
magazine she may often earn a large     

income4 ,if money or fame is her object 
she must always sign her own name to    
everything she writes1 as it takes      
genius to coerce the public into        
admiration of anonymous work4  ,a great 
many women have found it well to be     
teachers1 and most of their work is     
conscientiously done1 though few have   
the highest ideal so constantly before  
them as to find pleasure in the work    
when their own faults are of such a     
nature that success depends on          
overcoming them4 ,a firm1 quick-witted  
woman1 with sufficient self-reliance to 
relish responsibility1 is the only one  
who can be happy in a large school or at
 the head of a small one4 ,now1 those   
are the lucrative positions for         
teachers1 and1 indeed1 the positions in 
which the largest results can be        
accomplished1 and they ought to be      
filled by the finest women4 ,but the    
finest women must have certain other    
qualities4 ,they need to be thoughtful  
even more than quick witted2 they must  

be able to balance conflicting          
interests1 and that is hard to reconcile
 with firmness2 and if they are modest  
and conscientious they rarely have the  
self-reliance which makes responsibility
 anything but a grievous burden4 ,yet   
there are teachers who have enough of   
all these contradictory qualities to    
succeed in doing the difficult and      
admirable work if they are only willing 
to be unhappy for the sake of doing     
something noble4  ,but some can never be
 disciplinarians1 however determined    
their character may be1 principally1 ,i 
think1 because the true student must    
usually be occupied with a train of     
thought which cannot be interrupted from
 moment to moment to detect the petty   
tricks of insubordinate pupils4 ,so if  
you mean to be a teacher1 think first   
whether you have quick observation2     
then1 are you firm1 and are you willing 
to give your whole heart to your work8  
,if you can answer these questions      
favorably1 you may persevere in your    

attempt to make your way to the head of 
a school1 even if your first trial does 
not succeed4 ,if you have not the       
executive ability1 then turn all your   
energy in other directions4 ,there are  
positions as assistants in grammar      
schools where any woman of good         
education who is conscientious and      
persevering may in time work to         
advantage1 and though such positions are
 probably more mechanical than any      
others1 yet they often leave the teacher
 considerable freedom to pursue her own 
tastes outside of school4  ,but if you  
feel that your temperament is           
essentially that of the student1 so that
 you could fill the place of assistant  
in some advanced school1 then give      
yourself to special studies4 ,i would   
not say study history exclusively for   
ten years1 even if you have a taste for 
history1 because there are few schools  
where a teacher can be employed for     
history alone4 ,but suppose you spent   
half your time for twenty years on      

history1 and the other half on          
literature1 languages1 etc41 you would  
probably find some place open to you all
 the time1 and at the end of twenty     
years you might be fit for a college    
position1 and much more fit than if you 
had narrowed yourself to one study4 ,in 
most cases the bent in one direction is 
not so strong that the student cannot do
 many things fairly well4 ,the half     
dozen best scholars in most secondary   
schools are usually the best in         
mathematics1 in the sciences1 in        
literature1 and in language4 ,it is a   
good plan for such scholars to level up 
in every direction4 ,two years' study in
 each line after leaving school will    
carry them beyond the requirements of   
most schools1--though of course no      
teacher can hope to succeed who does not
 study daily the branches she teaches1  
to keep abreast of the times1 and to    
make her teaching fresh1--and if she is 
able to teach a variety of subjects she 
is pretty sure to find an engagement in 

some of the many schools where only a   
few assistants can be employed4 ,and it 
is no small additional advantage that   
her own mind is more evenly developed   
than that of a specialist4  ,just now   
the demand for women to teach the       
sciences seems to be greater in         
proportion to the supply than in any    
other direction4 ,if a girl has a       
natural taste for chemistry1 zooelogy1  
or mineralogy1 and cultivates it1 she is
 very sure to put money in her purse4   
,but the supply is increasing1 so this  
state of things may not last long4  ,no 
one thinks sewing an attractive means of
 livelihood1 but where a girl has a     
decided taste for the needle there are  
openings for her gifts4 ,i know a mother
 and daughter who support themselves in 
comfort by embroidering dresses for the 
stage1 and by giving lessons in the     
making of fine laces4 ,and ,i heard the 
other day of a farmer's daughter who    
came to the city to work as a           
dressmaker1 and who showed such taste   

and skill that she soon commanded a     
salary of two thousand dollars for      
overseeing an establishment4 ,it is     
pleasant to add that she married a rich 
man of refined tastes1 and that she made
 a beautiful home for him1 a centre for 
all lovers of the fine arts4  ,a        
thousand occupations are now open to    
women4 ,you can be a type-writer1 or a  
stenographer1 or a private secretary1 or
 saleswoman4 ,you can keep a bakery1 or 
do city shopping for country ladies4    
,but whatever you do1 keep these        
principles in mind3--  #a4 ,do not drift
 into any work4 ,circumstances may force
 you to do something unsuited to you1   
and then you must do your best2 but     
where even a narrow choice is left1 try 
to weigh your own tastes and talents    
truly1 and choose something to which you
 are willing to give your energies1 and 
in which1 if you work hard1 there is    
reasonable hope you will succeed4  #b4  
,whether you like your work or not1 make
 it something more than a means of      

self-support4 ,we all want a broad      
margin to our lives1 and we may do our  
great life-work entirely outside of our 
work for bread4 ,but most of us         
necessarily put so much of our strength 
as well as our time into earning our    
livelihood1 that1 if we are the women we
 ought to be1 that too must express our 
nobleness4 ,we may not like our work1   
but we can make it worth doing1 even if 
we never gain a penny from it4 ,milton  
was no doubt sorry to receive only ,l#ae
 for ,paradise ,lost1 but we should all 
be willing to starve in a garret to do  
work like that4 ,it ought to be the same
 with the humblest occupation4 ,we      
should like to earn something by it1 but
 first we wish to have it worth more    
than money1 and it will be so if we work
 in the right spirit4     ,,vi4         
,,occupations ,,for ,,the ,,rich4   ,in 
one of ,george ,eliot's letters she says
 that her chief hope from the higher    
education of women is that they will do 
much unproductive labor which at present

 is either badly done or not done at    
all4 ,but she thought it would be       
unbecoming in her to say much publicly  
on that subject1 for she could not fail 
to know that her own genius set her     
apart from other women and gave her a   
definite work to do4  ,for those who    
have simply many good powers without any
 dominating one the case is different4  
,the poor must use their gifts to gain  
bread2 but if they do not make their    
occupation the medium of higher work1   
they are no better than the idle rich4  
,the rich1 instead of being excused from
 work by circumstances1 are the more    
bound to work1 because they can choose  
what is best in itself4  ,where a girl  
has many equal gifts it may be well     
sometimes to have several occupations2  
but it is usually best to choose some   
one form of daily employment as the     
nucleus of her life1 and to persevere   
with that till she accomplishes         
something4  ,most girls would choose to 
devote themselves to some charity4 ,i   

will speak of that in another chapter4  
,here ,i wish to say something of       
occupations which can be followed only  
by those who are rich enough to dispose 
of their own time1 and which1 though at 
first they may not seem to be of much   
use to others1 are indirectly among the 
most powerful factors in the progress of
 the world4  ,in ,new ,england1 at      
least1 girls often stay in school till  
they are twenty1 and by that time they  
have learned the elements of chemistry1 
physics1 botany1 zooelogy1 physiology1  
geology1 and astronomy4 ,if they have   
learned these thoroughly1 the variety of
 studies is an advantage1 as one science
 throws light on all the rest4 ,yet of  
course they have learned only the       
rudiments of any of these subjects1 and 
if they try to carry them all on after  
leaving school they can hardly do very  
good work in any4  ,suppose a girl      
decides that chemistry is the most      
fascinating of the group4 ,then let her 
make a special study of that4 ,she will 

know enough of the other sciences to use
 them when she needs their help1 or she 
may wish to study minerals or plants or 
animals chemically4 ,if she is rich1 she
 ought to carry on her study with       
special teachers till she reaches a     
point where she can do original work4   
,then1 let her have her own little      
laboratory1 and give some hours every   
day regularly to experiments4 ,original 
work sounds terrifying to most girls2   
they think it requires genius4 ,it does 
take genius to gather the results of    
experiments into laws4 ,but as ,i have  
elsewhere suggested1 the experiments    
must all be first tried2 and many a girl
 is neat and skillful and accurate      
enough to do all the drudgery necessary1
 leaving the man1--or woman1--of genius 
free for the higher work4 ,true1 it     
takes genius to know what experiments to
 try4 ,but a girl who has had special   
teachers is sure to know one among them 
who is doing original work1 and who     
wishes the days were twice as long that 

he might try more experiments4 ,let her 
ask him to trust some work to her4 ,she 
may make some discoveries herself1 but  
at any rate she will do work which is   
needed4  ,i call to mind a case in      
point4 ,a young lady had a great taste  
for drawing1 as well as a good          
scientific mind4 ,she became acquainted 
with a physician who was making original
 studies in the microscopic germs of    
disease4 ,they worked side by side4 ,the
 physician detected the animalcules and 
plants and crystals with the microscope1
 and explained to her how he wanted them
 represented4 ,she was intelligent      
enough to understand his explanations   
and skillful enough to make the         
drawings4 ,his own drawings were too    
clumsy to convey his idea1 but with her 
help his observations were made         
available for others4  ,suppose a girl  
enjoys botany4 ,i know a woman who has  
made lichens the study of a life-time4  
,this has been a source of high culture 
as well as of pleasure to herself1 for1 

as she says1 this is the most           
intellectual family of plants1 and no   
one can study their structure without   
being brought face to face with profound
 questions4 ,moreover1 this study has   
opened her eyes and those of her friends
 to much beauty2 for until we begin to  
look at lichens we are often conscious  
of hardly more than a dull wall of rock 
or the dead gray wood of old buildings1 
when in truth every inch of their       
surface is decorated with rich forms and
 delicate colors4 ,she won a certain    
measure of fame by the discovery of a   
new lichen1 but she did better than     
that1 she made one of the finest        
collections in the ,united ,states for a
 local city museum1 so that the fruits  
of her labor were thus accessible to    
future lichenists2 and she gave much    
needed help to geologists in            
investigating fossil lichens4  ,local   
collections of any kind are valuable4 ,a
 young lady who superintends the making 
of one in the town or village where she 

lives will learn much herself1 and she  
will attract many other young people to 
pursue an innocent and healthful        
pleasure1 so becoming a power in the    
community4 ,there are few such          
collections now in existence1 and any   
girl living in a small place who has a  
taste for science may act as a pioneer4 
,she can begin modestly with a single   
case at her own house1 or1 better still1
 at the public library1 and she will be 
surprised to see how fast the museum    
will grow1 and how useful and delightful
 it will be4  ,if a woman likes to      
experiment with plants1 let her study   
botany at the ,harvard ,annex4 ,there   
she will learn how many questions in    
vegetable physiology are awaiting       
investigation4 ,darwin studied one      
twining plant after another till he     
discovered the rate of motion for each4 
,dr4 ,goodale tells us how to trace the 
motion of ordinary growth4 ,but think of
 the myriads of plants which have not   
yet been examined1 any one of which is  

likely to yield suggestive results4  ,if
 a woman loves flowers and does not care
 for botany1 she has the whole beautiful
 domain of horticulture open to her4    
,naturally she will have a garden of her
 own and be connected with some flower  
mission4 ,but she might do more4 ,a rich
 woman in the country who determined to 
make that her principal work could      
easily interest every child in the      
community in a garden1 and by           
perseverance she might make the whole   
village blossom with new beauty4 ,in the
 city she might be the means of making  
the balconies in whole streets lovely   
with growth4  ,i heard of a young lady  
not long ago who was raising spiders for
 the purpose of studying their habits4  
,if she is in earnest1 and has the      
intelligence to try experiments1 she may
 some day contribute something          
substantial to scientific knowledge4 ,i 
have heard of another who is raising    
snails1 and of still another who makes a
 specialty of caddis-flies4 ,most people

 consider such work innocent and        
amusing1 but it may easily be made more4
 ,take the question of the antennas of  
insects4 ,it took the combined          
experiments of a ,german and an         
,american to discover that the plumed   
antennae of the male mosquito vibrated  
differently to different parts of the   
female's song1 thus representing an     
outward ear4 ,now1 of the two hundred   
thousand known species of insects1 all  
of which have antennae1 probably less   
than fifty have been examined with      
anything like patience4 ,these organs   
apparently serve in some cases for      
touch1 and sometimes for smell4 ,it will
 take years of study by hundreds of     
people to make the experiments necessary
 to decide on their relations to the    
senses and the brains of insects4 ,when 
they are thoroughly understood1 some    
light may be thrown on our own brain and
 senses4  ,who but the rich can have    
leisure for such important experiments8 
,yet any girl with a school knowledge of

 zooelogy could begin to work with some 
common insect1 and be all the better for
 spending several hours every day in    
such a pursuit4  ,i know a lady devoted 
to zooelogy who has many opportunities  
to travel4 ,she comes home laden with   
rare specimens which she distributes to 
all the people she knows who can        
appreciate them2 and another who has    
given several years past to the study of
 geology4 ,she has now become so        
accomplished as to have made an         
excellent geological map of the town she
 lives in4 ,such a map is greatly needed
 in any town1 but how few are to be     
found6  ,another lady who has a taste   
for mineralogy has unconsciously done   
good in her own village by means of it4 
,all the boys and girls in town are     
ready to help her and have learned      
something from her4 ,her collection is  
open to everybody4 ,she has formed a    
club of ladies for the study of the     
science in the winter evenings4 ,there  
is a higher intellectual and moral tone 

in the place because of this new        
interest4  ,goethe makes one of his     
heroines a lover of astronomy2 he       
represents her as living quietly with   
her telescope1 and passing night after  
night in close study of the stars4      
,there is something ideally beautiful in
 his description of her4  ,one of my    
friends chose to give most of her time  
to music4 ,without being a genius1 she  
played remarkably well1 and she made her
 work available for others by playing   
the organ in a church which was rich1 in
 everything but money4 ,i knew another  
fine pianist who gave lessons to        
children who could not otherwise have   
had them4 ,in both these cases the      
ladies were as much bound by their      
self-imposed tasks as if they had been  
earning their living1 and their         
characters received almost as great     
benefit2 but it would not have been well
 that they should be paid for their     
work4 ,why should they compete with     
those who needed the money8  ,harriet   

,martineau was not rich1 but when she   
settled down in her own little          
country-house she had a competence4 ,she
 made her study useful to the people    
around her1 as well as to the world4    
,she was skilled in political economy1  
and she took pains to present its knotty
 problems in a clear and simple form to 
the untrained minds of her poor         
neighbors4  ,all women are not born to  
lecture even in this small way4 ,but the
 study of history1 and still more of    
philosophy1 does something more than to 
broaden the mind of the student4 ,a     
woman with a clear mind looks at every  
subject more wisely than if she were    
half educated4 ,her judgment has weight 
with every one she comes into contact   
with2 but however little her influence  
may be1 it is likely to be on the right 
side4 ,what we are is so much more than 
what we do6 ,girls who are longing to do
 some great thing are impatient when    
they are told this4 ,it is so much      
easier to measure what we do than what  

we are4 ,i know a girl with a fine      
intellect who loves to study1 but who   
cannot quite give herself up to study   
because she is haunted by the feeling   
that in this way she is concentrating   
her life on herself4 ,it is true there  
are learned women who are very selfish1 
but it is not true that their learning  
makes them so1 certainly it is not1 if  
they think and judge as well as learn4  
,this girl believes she ought to visit  
the poor1 and some time she may do some 
good in that way2 but her natural       
aptitude is in another direction4 ,if   
she ever succeeds in so disciplining her
 intellect that she has just views of   
life1 she will have it in her power to  
exert a wide influence4 ,if she could1  
for instance1 convince her imperious    
father and brothers that there was      
something to be said on the side of     
their striking workmen1 she would       
indirectly do the poor more good than   
she could ever do directly4 ,perhaps she
 could convince them4 ,one reason that  

her father is so eager to grind men down
 is because her mother is frivolous and 
extravagant4  ,i call to mind a girl who
 has been studying art abroad for some  
years4 ,she has talent enough to earn   
her living by her work1 if that were    
necessary4 ,as it is not1 she has chosen
 to do a fine thing4 ,she has made      
copies of many of the great paintings of
 the world1 and she has given these to  
the quiet boarding-school where she was 
educated4 ,the copies are good enough to
 be a factor in the education of the    
girls who have not yet seen the         
originals4 ,she has also used her skill 
and taste in selecting almost a thousand
 unmounted photographs from the great   
masters for the same school4 ,these she 
has arranged herself1 mounting them and 
writing out plainly on each card the    
name of the picture with that of the    
artist and a few words referring to the 
time and place of the painting4 ,as     
arranged1 these photographs form an     
illustrated history of art4  ,another   

girl perhaps chooses to study languages4
 ,when this leads to the foreign        
literatures1 it is one of the highest   
intellectual occupations possible4 ,but 
there are ways of making languages      
outwardly available4 ,i remember a      
friend at a custom-house who            
successively helped three steerage      
passengers out of unknown troubles by   
speaking ,french1 ,german1 and ,italian 
with them1 and interpreting to the      
officers1 one of whom at last turned    
with a laugh1 saying1 ,i wonder if there
 are not any ,chinese about4 ,this lady 
would be sure to help them4             
,translation1 as everybody knows1 does  
not pay4 ,a few very famous books are   
brought out by the half dozen leading   
translators1 and all others must either 
lie unread or be translated by those who
 do not need any money for their work4  
,yet there are books which ought to be  
translated1 though they will not pay4   
,and how rare it is to translate well6  
,even rarer than to write ,english well4

 ,if a woman is aware that she has grace
 in expressing herself1 and a delicate  
perception of the meaning of words1 and 
the power to comprehend the thought of a
 writer1 then can she do better with    
time and money than to perfect her      
knowledge of a language so that she can 
make a good translation of some fine    
book which would otherwise be neglected8
 ,if she should also have some poetic   
gift1 she might even translate poems    
which ought to be known4 ,probably no   
poem was ever poetically translated for 
money4   ,there is another occupation   
for rich women more exclusively         
womanly--the care of children4 ,i       
remember a rich mother who did this work
 well4 ,she had a nurse1 indeed1 to     
relieve her of some of the drudgery1    
though she did not shrink from this1    
too1 when it was needed2 but the greater
 part of the day was passed with her    
children4 ,she knew what words they     
heard and what actions they saw4 ,she   
identified herself thoroughly with them4

 ,i will not say that she knew all their
 thoughts1 but ,i think she knew all    
they were willing to express to any one4
 ,she entered into their games and      
taught them to play4 ,but though she was
 so much with them she did not let them 
feel that she had no other uses for her 
time4 ,she read or wrote or sewed at one
 end of the long nursery1 while they    
played at the other4 ,she tried to      
develop their independence1 and she     
trusted them little by little1 more and 
more1 as she saw they had strength to   
take care of themselves4 ,she studied   
their characters1 and gave much thought 
to the way to correct their faults4     
,sometimes a single word of reproof or  
command was the result of hours of      
thought1 but they could not know that4  
,at last they seemed to be thoroughly   
self-governing4 ,they did the right     
thing instinctively1 whether she was    
there to see them or not4 ,if they were 
in doubt they came of their own accord  
to ask her advice1 not requiring her    

command4  ,by degrees she separated     
herself from them for most of the day   
simply to teach them self-reliance1 not 
because she was tired of her task4 ,the 
hours of separation were still given to 
them4 ,she thought of them and studied  
for them1 and planned ways of making    
herself most charming to them when they 
were together again4 ,in the end they   
were free strong men and women1 able to 
stand alone1 and yet enthusiastically   
attached to their mother1 so that every 
pleasure was the dearer if she shared   
it4  ,if a woman has no children of her 
own1 it often happens that she may do   
this good work for her little brothers  
and sisters1 or for her nieces and      
nephews4 ,or1 if there is no one among  
her kindred who needs her care1 there   
are always the orphan children4  ,if a  
woman of wealth and leisure adopts a    
child the experiment usually fails4 ,i  
have often wondered why1 and ,i think ,i
 can see the reason4 ,a rich and        
cultivated woman who has also the large 

heart which leads her to take a child   
belongs to the very highest development 
of the race4 ,the destitute waif is     
often from the dregs of the people4 ,the
 distance between them is too wide for  
sympathy4 ,she trains this child as she 
would train her own1 and the child feels
 oppressed4 ,its faults are so different
 from those of her own childhood1 that  
she is overwhelmed by them and quite at 
a loss how to meet them4 ,and yet1 it   
would be a pity for her to repress the  
generous wish to help a child4 ,i think 
such a woman may sometimes find the     
child of educated parents1 perhaps from 
among her own circle of friends whom she
 can naturally help2 and if she will    
take two children instead of one1 her   
task will be lightened for they will    
help each other4  ,but if she finds it  
best to adopt one of the lowest class1  
she may still succeed by remembering    
several things4 #a4 ,it is too much to  
expect to train such a child to be a    
real companion1 though in some rare     

cases this may follow4 ,her main effort 
should be to awaken and guide the moral 
nature1 and to do this she must learn to
 look at the child from another         
standpoint than her own prejudices4 #b4 
,she must give the child an abundance of
 simple physical pleasures1 and1 if     
possible1 companions of about its own   
intellectual grade4 #c4 ,she must enter 
heartily into all the child does1 and   
endeavor to understand the workings of  
its mind4  ,many young women who would  
hesitate to take the whole              
responsibility of one child may find    
useful and pleasant employment for      
themselves by teaching a class of       
children of the poor4 ,they can teach   
them to sew or to read1 they can provide
 simple pleasures for them1 and         
supplement the work of the public       
schools in a hundred ways necessary in  
cases where there is no adequate home   
life4  ,there is another great work to  
be done by rich women--that of giving a 
higher tone to society4 ,i knew a       

delicate woman who went to live in a    
large and rapidly growing ,western city4
 ,on account of her wealth and          
connections all the leading people in   
the place called upon her at once1 and  
her house became a centre of society4   
,she used her good taste in making her  
home really beautiful--not showy or     
fashionable4 ,then she opened it freely 
to congenial friends4 ,some of her      
visitors were society people1 but many  
were not4 ,there were thoughtful        
teachers1 clever young collegians who   
had gone ,west to seek a fortune and had
 found drudgery awaiting them instead1  
half a dozen unknown musicians and      
artists1 and a few educated ,germans and
 ,swedes whom fate had stranded far from
 home4 ,these people were welcome every 
day and at all hours4 ,for this lady1   
who had intellectual tastes1 had been   
forced by the weakness of her eyes to   
get her education from people rather    
than from books4 ,so a perpetual salon  
was a pleasant thing to her4 ,all who   

were invited to her home had some moral 
or intellectual gift which made their   
company desirable1 not only to the      
hostess but to the other guests4 ,the   
rich and poor met together there1 but   
not the cultivated rich and the         
uncultivated poor1 or the uncultivated  
rich and the cultivated poor4           
,consequently1 the conversation was     
real4 ,a young professor would come in  
with the ,atlantic ,monthly1 begging    
leave to read an article to her1 and the
 reading would begin without any        
superfluous remarks about the weather4  
,others would come in1 but the reading  
would go on and the discussion it       
suggested4 ,an artist would bring a new 
picture1 and the conversation would turn
 in a new direction4 ,a musician would  
sing an air1 and a quiet ,german would  
be led to speak of his life in the      
,fatherland4  ,but with all her leisure1
 my friend found it a burden to keep up 
the round of merely formal calls        
required of her4 ,she did not wish to   

hurt the feelings of any one1 so she    
persevered for a while4 ,she set apart  
one day in a fortnight for a reception  
day4 7,you may be sure none of her      
bright and interesting friends came     
then47 ,and once a fortnight she took   
her card-case in hand and drove rapidly 
about the city1 returning calls4 ,but   
she seldom called formally on anybody   
who had once been asked to her salon4   
,these were the people1 she said to     
herself1 who could understand4  ,her    
delicate health excused her from giving 
parties4 ,coffee and cakes were always  
at hand for refreshment1 and any caller 
was welcomed to lunch or dinner if he   
happened to be at the house when the    
bell rang4 ,the dinners were always     
good1 but no change was made for a      
visitor4 ,she always refused to go to   
parties or receptions1 which she thought
 insufferable except when there was     
dancing4 ,but she could not escape the  
burden of party calls4 ,the difficulty  
in carrying out her plans was that there

 was no definite line between her sheep 
and goats4 ,there were some with whom   
she had to be both formal and informal1 
and she knew it could not be right for  
her to drop totally everybody whom she  
did not fancy4 ,many other women had    
felt the same burdens too heavy to be   
borne1 but had seen no escape4 ,she     
suggested a club-house for ladies in    
some central part of the city which they
 all often passed in shopping4 ,it      
should be a comfortable resting-place1  
with restaurant1 reading-room1 etc4 ,it 
should always be open1 but one afternoon
 in the week should be considered a     
special reception day4 ,that would give 
ladies a chance to see each other with  
very little trouble4 ,when a stranger   
came into town1 if it was thought she   
would be a congenial acquaintance1 two  
members were to call upon her and invite
 her to the club1 and see that she was  
properly introduced4 ,then she was      
considered one of their number1 and was 
free from the bondage of calls ever     

after4 ,there were many other           
regulations emancipating the members    
from the tyranny of unsocial society4   
,of course many ladies objected to all  
this4 ,their idea of society was the    
conventional one1 and they continued to 
live on that basis4 ,most of them were  
welcomed at the club1 but its members   
did not call upon them1 or go to their  
parties1 or give them parties in return1
 always excepting parties with an object
 like music and dancing4 ,parties had   
given place to informal gatherings like 
my friend's salon1 where something real 
could be said4  ,now in an old city such
 a change could not be brought about so 
quickly4 ,it could only be made by a    
large number of leaders of society      
joining to make it4 ,no stranger nor    
young person could do much except to    
make her own part of any conversation as
 worthy as possible4 ,but the mothers   
can lead the daughters1 and the         
daughters1 starting from a higher point1
 can go on in the same way4  ,these are 

some of the many unproductive           
occupations in which rich women may use 
their time well1 without finding it     
necessary to compete with their poorer  
sisters in earning money4     ,,vii4    
,,culture4   ,culture comes from the    
constant choice of the best within our  
reach4 ,it belongs to character more    
than to acquirements1 though a person of
 culture usually has certain            
acquirements1 for these are generally   
within the reach of all those who       
earnestly wish for the best things4  ,a 
woman1 for instance1 may be a cultivated
 musician1 and have a weak character in 
some directions2 but just so far as her 
music is of high quality she must have  
chosen the best4 ,she must have been    
patient and energetic1 and she must have
 been willing to practice fine music4 ,i
 knew a girl so brilliant that she was  
able to play a ,beethoven sonata almost 
at sight when she had studied music less
 than a year4 ,but she did not care for 
,beethoven4 ,she preferred ,offenbach1  

and she never became a cultivated       
musician4  ,but though girls are apt to 
think of culture as something distinct  
from character1 they do after all       
acknowledge its moral side1 for         
beautiful manners are its first test4 ,i
 see every day a young girl who seems to
 have no special gift4 ,her delicate    
health has prevented her from studying  
much1 so although the wealth and        
position of her family have made it     
possible for her to have the best       
teachers all her life1 her education is 
not far advanced4 ,with all her piano   
lessons she will stumble over the       
simplest march if any one is listening  
to her2 she replies to her ,french      
teacher in monosyllables2 she has read  
few books3 and as for her arithmetic1   
children in the primary schools could   
put her to shame4 ,nevertheless1 she    
would everywhere be recognized at once  
as a cultivated young lady4 ,the        
simplicity1 gentleness1 and sweetness of
 her manners1 her truthfulness1 modesty1

 and dignity count for far more than    
,french or music or literature even with
 those who lay most stress on           
accomplishments4 ,such manners as hers  
are rare1 and yet they are likely to be 
found running through whole families4   
,her mother and her sister1 both of whom
 are cleverer than she1 have almost     
equally fine manners1 though they miss  
the last touch of grace4 ,such manners  
come from the choice of generation after
 generation4 ,one woman after another   
has chosen to be sincere1 good-tempered1
 kind1 and noble4 ,the women who so     
choose also choose the best in other    
ways4 ,they read good books instead of  
bad ones1 they prefer a beautiful       
picture to a showy one1 and ,beethoven  
to ,offenbach4 ,you may say that a girl 
of such a family cannot help being      
cultivated3 culture is inborn4 ,so it   
is1 because generation after generation 
has chosen aright4 ,her own positive    
contribution to the family is that last 
touch of grace4 ,i think that comes from

 the fact that she could not succeed in 
other directions as her mother and      
sister did4 ,the best within her reach  
was in the direction of manners1 though 
,i think she did not decide that        
consciously4 ,it was the determination  
to meet mortification with heroism1 to  
turn aside from feelings of envy and    
wounded vanity1 which added the last    
exquisite charm to her manners4  ,that  
such manners are often found among      
people of some wealth may1 ,i think1 be 
accounted for by choice4 ,though many   
poor people are not at all responsible  
for their poverty1 yet when generation  
after generation choose the best things1
 including the best husbands and wives1 
some of the sources of poverty are      
removed1 and although such families are 
seldom very rich1 they are often in     
comfortable circumstances1 and as they  
use money as well as other things in the
 best way1 and do not live for show1    
they are really richer than others with 
the same means4  ,i think1 on the whole1

 good breeding is found oftenest in     
families where the fathers have been    
professional men for generations4 ,a    
line of ministers where each has chosen 
to do the highest work he knew1 careless
 of money1 or a line of physicians where
 each has chosen to help his fellow-men1
 leads down to a beautiful blossoming   
time4  ,but no class monopolizes fine   
manners4 ,sometimes they seem to belong 
entirely to the woman herself1 and no   
trace of them can be found in an earlier
 generation4 ,she chooses alone1 and she
 accomplishes all that has been         
accomplished for others by cultivated   
ancestors4  ,truthfulness is essential  
to culture1 which1 without it1 will be  
only a veneer4 ,i have had an           
opportunity to know well a large class  
of girls selected from the most highly  
cultivated families in one of our       
cities4 ,comparing them with other sets 
of less highly cultivated girls1 ,i     
think1 on the whole1 the standard of    
truth is higher among the first1 though 

it has never been my misfortune to find 
a low standard among girls4 ,unhappily1 
however1 these girls have been so       
encouraged to shirk mathematics that    
they have little power to think justly  
and accurately on many questions4       
,mathematics may be called narrow1 but  
no one can have sound intellectual      
culture without these mental gymnastics4
  ,i believe1 too1 that science must    
have a larger place in the education of 
girls if they are to be able to look at 
things in a broad way1 and if ,i am     
right in calling culture the result of  
choice1 the fairness of judgment which  
comes from broad views is more essential
 to it than any special accomplishment4 
,a specialist is seldom really          
cultivated1 just because he is a        
specialist4 ,darwin when young was an   
enthusiast in music and poetry4 ,but    
after a life given exclusively to       
science1 he was amazed to find that     
,shakespeare was tedious to him4 ,his   
services to the world were so great1 and

 the spirit in which he worked was so   
noble1 that we can hardly regret his    
course2 but he said himself that if he  
could begin life again he would read    
some poetry and hear some music every   
day1 so that he might not lose the power
 of appreciating these things4 ,goethe1 
who stands at the opposite extreme1 as  
the many-sided1 adds that one must see  
something beautiful every day4  ,women  
are seldom specialists however4 ,their  
danger is superficiality through trying 
to do too many things4 ,how can we be   
broad without being superficial8 ,i have
 elsewhere said that ,i believe the     
school education should include the     
rudiments of many branches1 and that    
these rudiments should be so thoroughly 
mastered that the girl should be able to
 go on with any study by herself4 ,i    
think the education should be continued 
along several lines1 if possible4 ,these
 will differ with different women2 but  
whatever they are1 it is essential that 
a balance should be kept between beauty 

and truth4 ,music1 art1 or poetry on the
 one hand1 and science or history on the
 other1 seem to me to give what is most 
needed4 ,in ,elizabeth ,shepherd's books
 the formula ,tonkunst und              
,arznei--music and medicine--is often   
quoted1 and so we should get the proper 
balance4 ,i do not think that an ardent 
girl who loves music art1 and poetry1   
and who hates history and science and   
mathematics1 will ever quite do herself 
justice if she carries on all three of  
her favorite studies and ignores the    
others1 even though her favorites are   
most essential to culture4 ,i think1    
however1 that though mathematics cannot 
be spared from the foundation of an     
education1 it yields less culture on the
 whole to students who have no taste for
 it than any other study1 so ,i do not  
advocate carrying it far1 but history or
 some science would be a good           
counterpoise for a mind given to the    
study of beauty alone4  ,a friend says  
we must all be one-sided1 so that       

perhaps our best chance is to have one  
hobby at a time and ride that to death1 
and then try another1 becoming at last  
two1 three1 or four-sided1 though never 
completely rounded4 ,if that be the     
case1 it seems to me a good thing to    
choose some of our hobbies at least from
 among the subjects for which we have   
most taste and talent4 ,now where the   
opportunities for culture have been     
great1 it often happens that girls grow 
discouraged4 ,they see how far away they
 are from perfection1 and they conclude 
they are good for nothing4 ,do not yield
 to such morbid feelings4 ,make your own
 estimate of yourself1 without regard to
 your wishes4 ,you do in your heart know
 what you can do well if you are willing
 to work4  ,make your estimate silently4
 ,it will probably be too high1 but you 
will work in the right line4 ,then let  
half your work be in the direction in   
which you think you may make your life  
outwardly effective2 for instance1 if   
you are a ,darwin let it be in the line 

of natural science4 ,let the other half 
of your work be constantly varied4      
,suppose you have chosen history as the 
study for a life-time1 take as a        
companion study something new every     
year1--first a science1 then art1 then  
literature1 then mathematics1 then a    
language1 etc41 etc4 ,for the fruit of  
culture is to be and not to do2 and what
 we are1 intellectually at least1       
depends even more on the breadth of     
knowledge which helps us to balance     
conflicting judgments than on special   
knowledge which gives us accurate       
judgment in details4 ,even in the moral 
world1 are not the finest characters    
those in whom many virtues are balanced 
rather than those in which one virtue is
 distorted by being allowed exclusive   
sway8 ,it is a great thing to be        
generous1 but not to be wasteful2 it is 
great to be gentle1 but not to be weak4 
,the philosophers tell us1 however1 that
 all things move in an ascending spiral4
 ,we do in order to be4 ,what we are    

bears unconscious fruit in what we do4  
,a woman who is cultivated in the true  
sense exerts a constant influence for   
good4 ,one rich woman says1 ,i will not 
live to myself1 and gives clothing to   
ragged children4 ,another rich woman    
says the same thing1 and studies history
 and poetry and comes silently to just  
conclusions about the relative value of 
clothes and thought4 ,she cannot be     
unjust to her smartly dressed maid1 and 
her daily life lifts her maid into a new
 moral atmosphere2 or her gently        
expressed judgments on all things are so
 unswervingly on the side of truth and  
love that her father and brother become 
ashamed of their little tricks in       
business or politics which they had once
 thought trifles4 ,true culture does    
always react on life4  ,and yet in one  
direction culture seems to weaken the   
moral fibre4 ,the kind of courage which 
leads to quick heroic action in great   
emergencies is apt to be lost by the    
habit of balancing arguments for and    

against action4 ,the gentleness which   
comes from quiet study often makes one  
incapable of decision when severity is  
necessary4 ,i was shocked not long ago  
by hearing a group of sweet1 high-bred  
girls discussing the scene in ,william  
,tell where the wife of the hero tries  
to prevent him from going out with his  
bow and arrow while ,gessler is in the  
neighborhood4 ,with one accord the girls
 thought ,tell should have yielded to   
his wife's wish4 ,it is true she was    
right in regard to the danger1 but      
,tell's carelessness about it was so    
clearly the result of his high-minded   
freedom from suspicion that it seemed as
 though every heart should beat quicker 
at his nobleness4 ,these girls have     
moral courage4 ,i dare say some of them 
would die at the stake rather than tell 
a lie4 ,but it would take a sharply     
defined test like that to rouse them4   
,too much thought has made it difficult 
for them to take any risk through       
unconsciousness of danger4 ,they could  

not act freely and spontaneously1 and   
they could not even admire such action  
in others4  ,how shall we train our     
girls so that they may have just        
judgments and yet not make them so      
introspective that the bloom shall be   
brushed off the beauty of every action8 
,perhaps ,emerson's suggestion1 that    
every young person should be encouraged 
to do what he is afraid to do1 would    
meet the case4   ,in a city like ,boston
 there is a great temptation to         
undertake too many lines of study at    
once4 ,there are free lectures every day
 in the week from men who have mastered 
their subjects1 and it seems as if one  
might lie still and drink in all        
knowledge without effort4 ,there are    
lectures in private parlors for those   
who are too delicate to go to a public  
hall--elementary lectures1 and advanced 
lectures and readings4 ,but no one ever 
became cultivated by going to lectures4 
,if a girl would choose a single course 
and study the subject between times by  

herself1 then she would really be the   
better for the instruction4 ,i think the
 difficulty of choice among many good   
things in the city is the reason that so
 many earnest girls have dissipated     
minds4 ,a woman in the city must be     
constantly on her guard against this    
peculiar temptation4  ,perhaps at this  
point it will do no harm to insert a few
 commonplace rules for study4  ,do not  
try to study too many things at once4   
,try to do all your work thoroughly1    
even if you do not get beyond the       
rudiments in anything4  ,do not be in a 
hurry4  ,it is said that eagerness to   
finish things shows weakness4 ,it       
certainly leads to shallowness1 ,without
 haste1 without rest was ,goethe's      
motto4 ,i have heard of a woman who     
began to study botany at ninety4 ,that  
shows a mind so trained and cultivated  
that the soil could not be exhausted    
with age4 ,how good it was that she was 
still fresh enough to respond to new    
thoughts6 ,she might have learned as    

much botany in a course of lectures when
 she was twenty1 and have listened to a 
dozen other courses at the same time1   
without half the delight and inspiration
 she had at ninety2 that is1 receiving  
so many new ideas at once at twenty     
might have made her mind more jaded than
 the gradual1 steady unfolding of many  
more ideas during a lifetime4  ,i know a
 lady of forty-five who within the last 
month has taken her first piano lesson4 
,she did not even know the meaning of   
the letters1 and yet she has already    
made wonderful progress4 ,she will      
probably never become a great player1   
though her fingers are unusually supple 
and she has some musical ability4 ,but  
even if she does not1 a new world of    
thought and beauty is opening to her4   
,i have just heard of another lady of   
seventy who went abroad for the sake of 
learning the ,french language4  ,it is a
 great mistake to think that all we are 
to learn must be begun before we are    
thirty lest we may not have a chance to 

make a practical use of it4 ,culture is 
within and not without4   ,i hope that  
,i shall have as many readers in the    
country as in the city1 and country     
people are not distracted with          
opportunities for culture4 ,indeed1 they
 often think they have none4 ,i will    
tell you the stories of three cultivated
 country women4  ,one lived on a farm a 
mile from the post-office1 and there was
 not much money for her to spend4 ,there
 were half a dozen cultivated families  
in the village including that of the    
minister1 and among them were to be     
found most of the books which make the  
best literature4 ,she knew how to use   
both these friends and these books1 and 
at twenty she was better read than her  
,boston cousins4 ,as she did not see her
 friends often1 she was more careful to 
make every call tell1 and her visitors  
said it was delightful to go to see her1
 she had such fresh things to say to    
them and such interesting questions to  
ask4 ,she studied botany by herself and 

became expert4 ,she learned mathematics 
so well in the public school that when  
she began to think she would like to see
 something of the world outside her     
corner1 she was able to get good places 
to teach4 ,first1 she went to a seaside 
village and there she learned a thousand
 new things4 ,then she spent a few years
 at the ,west1 varying her route in     
going and coming till she had seen a    
large part of her own country4 ,by this 
time she had saved enough money to go   
abroad and study quietly for a year4    
,now1 she had her ,french and ,german1  
and she saw pictures and heard music and
 visited cathedrals and discovered how  
other people lived4 ,but by and by her  
sisters died1 and she was needed at     
home4 ,of course she was a great        
acquisition in the village1 and she had 
many sources of enjoyment in pursuing   
the studies she had begun4 ,but she     
wanted new thoughts too4 ,she invited a 
friend to spend a month with her1 and   
when she found that her friend had made 

a study of chemistry she sent for a few 
dollars' worth of chemicals and set up a
 satisfactory laboratory in the barn4   
,naturally she made the acquaintance of 
every desirable person who visited the  
village1 and moreover her ,boston       
relatives were always eager to have her 
for a guest1 as she was interested in   
all their favorite pursuits in an       
entirely original way4  ,another girl   
lived in one little town till she was   
thirty1 and then married a man of       
culture whose home was in the city4 ,his
 sisters said she was a beauty and had  
good taste in dress2 and they thought   
these things had captivated their       
brother4 ,but first they had to own that
 she was a woman of fine character1     
good-tempered1 dignified1 truthful and  
modest1 for these virtues flourish in   
the country quite as often as in the    
city4 ,but still1 they knew that she had
 had no education1 and they expected no 
intellectual companionship4 ,then it    
proved that she had read more           

thoughtfully than they had4 ,they       
belonged to a dozen literary societies1 
but the one little village ,shakespeare 
,club had done good work4 ,the sisters  
always went to the theatre every week in
 the winter1 but the bride who could    
count on her fingers the plays she had  
heard1 had selected these so carefully  
that her taste was already well formed4 
,then she proved to be musical4 ,small  
as the village was1 there had been one  
young lady in it who had had the best   
musical advantages4 ,our heroine had not
 let this opportunity slip4 ,she had not
 heard many concerts1 but she had       
practiced the best music4 ,she had      
studied ,latin1 of course1 in the       
village high school1 and ,french with a 
,french lady who spent her summers in   
the neighborhood4 ,she had treated      
herself every year to five dollars'     
worth of ,soule's photographs1 and she  
had studied these so carefully that she 
really knew something of the great      
artists4  ,then she had traveled6 ,she  

had begun to teach in her own village   
when she was eighteen1 and every summer 
she had spent a little of her salary in 
some interesting trip4 ,as a teacher1   
she had taken advantage of excursion    
rates to the great ,national ,teachers' 
,institutes4 ,in this way she had       
visited most sections of the ,united    
,states4 ,and she had planned her trips 
so thoughtfully that she had been alive 
to everything which was to be seen4     
,once she had even taken the            
accumulations of several years and spent
 her summer abroad4 ,the sisters looked 
scornful at this4 ,how could anybody see
 anything worth seeing with an excursion
 party8 ,yet they had to own that what  
we see depends on the eyes we have as   
much as on our surroundings4 ,she could 
not see everything in three months1 but 
she knew what she wanted to see1 and she
 had thoroughly assimilated that by much
 thought about it before and after the  
journey4  ,she had once spent six weeks 
at a summer school of languages1 and had

 devoted herself so energetically to    
,german that she had been able to go on 
reading it by herself1 and thus in a few
 years she had become familiar with some
 of the masterpieces of its literature4 
,but the sisters were most astonished   
when they found her reading ,italian one
 day--,dante1 too1 which was too hard   
for them4 ,the explanation of this was  
that for some years the ,catholic priest
 in her native village had been a       
good-natured ,tuscan who had been glad  
to exchange ,italian for ,english with  
her4  ,you see1 she had had no regular  
education and no money but what she     
earned1 yet by choosing the best within 
reach at all times she had become as    
cultivated as her sisters-in-law who had
 had every opportunity4  ,all women are 
not so fond of study2 but they may be   
cultivated1 nevertheless4 ,the finest   
manners ,i have ever seen belong to a   
woman who has lived all her life in the 
house where she was born in a little    
town in ,new ,england4 ,she never went  

away to school1 and has not the student 
temperament1 though she is gifted in    
every direction4 ,she has a love of     
beauty which has led her to make        
everything beautiful around her4 ,she   
has had little musical training1 yet her
 playing and singing have always had the
 indefinable musical quality4 ,she has  
read a good deal1 especially of the best
 novels and poetry1 but ,all for love   
and nothing for reward4 ,she has        
traveled from time to time a little when
 she could spare the money1 but always  
for pleasure and not to improve her     
mind4  ,she has had no artistic         
training1 but with meagre materials she 
arranges tableaux which are famed       
throughout the county1 and on every     
public occasion in the village she      
decorates the ,town ,hall exquisitely4  
,she has added wonderfully to the       
happiness of the place by always        
following her love of beauty1 making    
everything she touches beautiful without
 any pretense or even any consciousness 

of having a mission4  ,so women may be  
cultivated in the country as well as in 
the city4 ,but some one may say that the
 hard workers have no time for culture4 
,it does seem to be true that hard      
workers need to use more sagacity than  
others not to let their work crowd out  
everything else4 ,they have one         
advantage4 ,nobody can be really        
cultivated without learning some one    
thing thoroughly4 ,this their work      
compels workers to do4 ,and the building
 is more important than its decoration1 
though without the decoration it may be 
a sombre structure4  ,now1 hard workers 
obviously cannot study ,french and      
,german and ,italian and music and art1 
at least all at once1 and if they try   
and so crowd out all their little       
leisure1 they miss the better culture   
which is within their reach4 ,what must 
you who are hard workers take time to   
do8  #a4 ,take a little time to think4  
,especially try to judge fairly in      
every-day matters4 ,culture1 demands    

balance of mind2 but is not that as good
 when it comes from thought as from     
study8 ,if the subject in hand is one of
 which you do not know enough to judge1 
study it1 if you have time4 ,if not1    
suspend your judgment4 ,that will show  
true culture4 ,for instance1 do not be a
 violent partisan either for or against 
the tariff unless you have carefully    
examined the arguments on both sides4   
,few perhaps have time to do that4 ,you 
will still have an opinion4 ,the few    
arguments you have studied all point in 
one direction4 ,the people you trust    
most believe in one measure4 ,very well1
 keep your opinion4 ,if you were a voter
 you might even vote in the way you     
believe to be best2 but do not allow    
yourself to be violent or to denounce   
everybody whose judgment differs from   
yours4  #b4 ,try to be enough at leisure
 to observe little courtesies4 ,hard    
workers are in danger of being irritable
 and hurried and careless of the trifles
 which add so much to the beauty and    

dignity of life4 ,of course my          
injunction includes some social life4   
,we get much of our best intellectual as
 well as moral life from contact with   
others4  #c4 ,keep open every avenue to 
beauty4 ,you have no time to study1 but 
read a few beautiful and noble sentences
 every day4 ,you have no time to        
practice music2 then it is doubly       
necessary to hear all you can and the   
best that you can4 ,and you can always  
look at beauty4 ,there is always a strip
 of blue sky with its stars at night4   
,and there are few who could not see a  
beautiful sunset almost every day in the
 year if they made it a happy duty to   
look at it4 ,i have often thought that  
any one who would persist in seeing this
 one vision every day would be lifted up
 above most of the turmoil of life4     
,,viii4  ,,the ,,essentials ,,of ,a     
,,lady4   ,within the last twenty-five  
years the wish to be considered a lady  
has spread so among all classes of      
,american women as to have become almost

 ridiculous1 as in the authentic case of
 the individual who presented herself at
 the front door of a fine house1 and    
describing herself as an ash-lady1      
inquired for the woman of the house4 ,it
 has been so often repeated that3 ,the  
rank is but the guinea's stamp1 and that
 ,a man's a man for a' that1 that all   
the ash-ladies and wash-ladies of the   
land have hastily concluded that the    
term lady stands for nothing            
substantial4  ,i will not say that a    
washer-woman may not be a lady4 ,it is  
certainly possible for her to have all  
the essentials of a lady4 ,but such a   
case is so rare that ,i think we are    
justified in taking the contrary for    
granted till we have proof of the fact4 
,not there are washer-women so truthful1
 unselfish1 and noble in character that 
they are far superior as women to many  
whom we may fairly call ladies4 ,such   
women usually have self-respect enough  
to understand that they lose rather than
 gain dignity in claiming to be anything

 they are not4 ,the essential point in  
life is not the being considered a lady4
 ,it is not even to be a lady1 though   
that is a beautiful thing4 ,a woman is  
like a vigorous plant1 with strong roots
 firmly fixed in the soil and abundant  
fresh green leaves4 ,a lady is such a   
plant crowned by a beautiful blossom4   
,you have sometimes seen a plant1 a     
geranium1 for instance1 which had lost  
all its leaves1 and yet bore at the top 
of its crooked stem a cluster of        
flowers4 ,such flowers are not very     
beautiful4 ,the thrifty plant without a 
blossom is more beautiful4 ,of course my
 moral is this1 that while the term lady
 does mean something different from     
woman1 it is only as a crown of         
womanhood that it is really significant4
  ,every girl should try to be a lady1  
however1 and every girl who sincerely   
tries will have some measure of success4
 ,i remember when ,i was a girl1 ,i once
 said to a high-bred woman1 ,do you     
think1 after all1 that ,mrs4 ,a4 is much

 of a lady8 ,she replied so firmly as to
 crush me for the time1 ,one is either a
 lady or she is not a lady4 ,i supposed 
she was right1 and that there were no   
stages on the perilous upward path which
 led to being a lady4 ,i have changed my
 mind now4 ,i think each of us may have 
some virtues without having all the     
virtues4 ,i think with ,emerson that in 
a society of gentlemen and ladies we    
shall find no complete gentleman and no 
complete lady2 and so ,i say that every 
girl who tries to be a lady will have   
some measure of success4 ,i do not mean 
that she should try to be recognized as 
a lady4 ,if she is one she will         
probably1 but not certainly1 be so      
recognized4 ,in a small community1 where
 she can be known personally1 she will  
be sure of her place1 but not in a large
 town4  ,oliver ,wendell ,holmes1       
speaking in ,england1 said something to 
this effect3 ,you think we have no      
classes in ,america because we have no  
titles to distinguish them4 ,but a      

barbed wire fence is as effectual in    
keeping out intruders as one of boards1 
though you can see the boards and the   
barbed wire is invisible4  ,why is a    
barbed wire fence put up in ,america8   
,because there is a real difference     
between coarse people and refined       
people1 even when both have the best    
intentions4 ,to be sure there are other 
less valid reasons4 ,there are coarse   
people whom accident has put among the  
higher classes1 who make themselves     
ridiculous by putting up a fence between
 themselves and poorer people even when 
the poor are refined4 ,nevertheless1    
there is a true basis for distinction of
 classes4 ,only the distinction is not  
as sharp as many would have it4 ,the    
highly refined and the very coarse have 
so little in common that they can never 
associate with comfort4 ,but the highly 
refined do not need barbed wire between 
themselves and those with one degree    
less of cultivation4 ,we can always     
reach one hand to those below us1 and if

 we reach the other to those above us1  
we shall be able to lift the lower to   
our plane instead of sinking to theirs4 
,such a chain of love1 reaching from the
 lowest to the highest1 is the ideal    
society1 and the highest man does not   
need to lift all his fellows up by his  
unaided strength1 because there is      
infinite help above him4  ,but in the   
unideal present most of us will         
sometimes be called upon to stand       
outside the charmed circle of barbed    
wire which incloses more fortunate      
mortals1 in spite of all we can do for  
ourselves4 ,we may be better women than 
those within the circle1 we may be      
better-educated1 more careful in our    
habits1 and our manners may be finer1   
and yet we may not have the magic word  
which would admit us4 ,there is no      
doubt1 for instance1 that blood and     
breeding do tell powerfully in          
refinement4 ,i can think of half a dozen
 women1 however1 of no birth at all in  
the ordinary sense1 and of no home      

education1 who have blossomed into the  
loveliest and most refined of women4 ,in
 one case1 the ancestors had for        
generations been earnestly religious1 so
 that the girl was really of noble birth
 and predestined to refinement1 though  
she had nothing to help her in the      
world's estimation4 ,but some of the    
girls came from wretched homes1 some of 
them did not even have good mothers1 and
 one was the illegitimate daughter of a 
servant girl4 ,but they all had         
aspiration and intellect1 and their     
refinement was not only wonderful under 
the circumstances1 but wonderful under  
any circumstances4 ,they were suitable  
associates for the most exclusive ladies
 in our cities so far as genuine        
refinement goes1 only as their          
experience of life was much wider than  
that of these carefully guarded dames1  
perhaps they would not have assimilated 
very well with them after all4  ,of     
course1 the exclusive circles are       
suspicious of women whose antecedents   

are like these1 and perhaps they have a 
right to be suspicious1 because these   
girls were certainly exceptions to the  
rule4 ,at all events1 none of us can    
help ourselves by grasping at a         
position4 ,we may1 to be sure1 get      
invitations sometimes if we are vulgar  
enough to ask for them1 but we shall    
find the barbed wire fence even in the  
drawing-room to which we have been      
admitted4 ,we must be content to stand  
outside every circle till we are invited
 to enter it1 and our self-respect must 
heal our wounded pride4  ,one thing1    
however1 we can do4 ,we can quietly     
resist being patronized4 ,we are not    
often called upon to accept favors from 
those who are not our superiors but who 
condescend to us because we are poor or 
obscure4 ,it is true we must be humble1 
and we need not resent such favors1 but 
we must beware of being flattered by the
 notice of any one who is simply rich or
 powerful4 ,when we recognize true      
superiority either in the rich or the   

poor1 we ought to be glad to acknowledge
 it4 ,we can accept a favor from those  
who are really above us1 though we know 
we cannot return it4 ,and we can always 
be ready to do our best work for others 
whether they slight us or not4 ,that    
does not show a mean but a noble spirit4
   ,what are the essentials of a lady8  
,a knowledge of the manners of the world
 is generally considered necessary if   
one would be a lady4 ,even where customs
 themselves are trivial1 ignorance of   
them makes a woman awkward and          
self-conscious1 so that she does not    
have the grace we associate with a      
perfect lady4 ,etiquette is superficial1
 it is true1 but it has a genuine value4
 ,the manners which belong instinctively
 to a woman of kindness and refinement  
are a far better test of her real rank4 
,i think1 on the whole1 a lady is most  
quickly recognized by her purity4 ,even 
a pure enunciation is a sign of a lady1 
for it gives a certain beauty of speech 
rarely heard except among those not only

 carefully educated1 but brought up     
among those who have the same habits4   
,and nobody is quite willing to         
pronounce any one a lady who is not     
exquisitely neat in her personal habits4
 ,these1 to be sure1 are only an outward
 and visible sign1 but they point       
clearly to something within4 ,somebody  
is sure to remember a class of ,new     
,england housekeepers who spend all     
their time scrubbing floors and have no 
spirit left for anything else1 and ask  
if they have the visible stamp of a     
lady4 ,the idea of neatness is so       
distorted in them that we cannot admire 
it very much1 yet perhaps it is their   
one connecting link with refinement4    
,such women1 however1 are1 curiously    
enough1 seldom particularly neat in     
their personal habits4 ,their dress is  
often untidy1 their hair uncombed1 they 
are careless about bathing1 and their   
teeth are neglected4 ,personal neatness 
is far more characteristic of a lady    
than neatness of surroundings1 and      

cleanliness is better than order4 ,the  
lover of ,shirley says1 ,i have often   
seen her with a torn sleeve1 but the arm
 beneath it was white4  ,somebody else  
will say that neatness is1 after all1 a 
luxury beyond the means of poor people4 
,how can you be clean when you do dirty 
work8 ,it takes either time or money4 ,i
 know a wealthy lady who used to be     
poor1 who says that for years she could 
never afford as much washing as she     
thought indispensable1 and she was too  
much of an invalid to do her own        
washing4 ,nevertheless1 she was always a
 lady and always looked like one1 though
 her dresses were sometimes absurdly    
old-fashioned4 ,i should say that her   
love of neatness was so strong that she 
sacrificed less important things to it1 
and always did reach a high standard1   
though not the standard of luxury4  ,i  
know a gentleman whose lot has been to  
do the heaviest and dirtiest work on a  
ranch for years1 and yet his hands to   
the tips of his fingernails look as if  

he had just come from a manicure's4 ,i  
suppose he has been determined that his 
hands should be clean and has been      
willing to take the trouble to keep them
 so4 ,still1 we ought to make some      
allowance for poverty in our estimate of
 neatness4 ,why are you building an     
addition to your house8 asked one lady  
of another4 ,oh1 for ,mr4 ,b4's         
tooth-brushes1 replied ,mrs4 ,b1        
carelessly4 ,when a man has been brought
 up as ,mr4 ,b4 has been1 his           
tooth-brushes take up a great deal of   
room4  ,i have said all this of outward 
purity1 because it is easier to speak of
 this1 but it is still more the purity  
of mind and character which             
distinguishes a lady4 ,in some classes  
of society even in ,america girls are   
kept almost isolated chiefly to preserve
 their purity of thought4 ,purity1 even 
the purity of ignorance1 is beautiful1  
but such purity has not deep            
foundations1 and ,i cannot think that   
girls are best guarded in this way4     

,nevertheless1 purity is so essential to
 a lady that such girls will always be  
counted as ladies4  ,the love of beauty 
is characteristic of a real lady4 ,this 
is recognized in some measure4 ,girls   
are taught dancing and music and        
something of art4 ,they listen to good  
music even if they are not musicians1   
and they look at good pictures if they  
cannot paint them4 ,this is partly a    
matter of fashion1 but it has a genuine 
root4 ,and so with the beauty of dress1 
and of the home4 ,both these ought to be
 beautiful1 but as few women are        
artistic enough to design anything1 they
 follow the fashion4 ,in this way they  
escape criticism from their companions  
who are like them4 ,but the moment ugly 
dress or furniture is out of fashion its
 ugliness is apparent4 ,i suppose most  
of us must be content to be tyrannized  
over more or less by fashion1 or by     
fashion and poverty combined1 till we   
develop greater genius in working out   
the problem of how to make our          

surroundings beautiful4 ,i would simply 
suggest that we should resist fashions  
we know to be hideous1 and try to follow
 those which commend themselves to our  
sense of beauty4  ,the two forms of     
beauty which are free to all of us are1 
,i think1 most neglected1 and more      
neglected among those who are surest of 
their title as ladies than among those  
of more modest pretensions4 ,these are  
poetry and nature4 ,to read beautiful   
poems constantly and to learn them by   
heart1 and to look out day by day on the
 glory of the world--these things give  
higher refinement than can be won by    
anything else merely intellectual4 ,and 
such a love of beauty usually has deep  
springs in the moral nature4  ,education
 has so much to do with refinement that 
we expect a lady to be educated as a    
matter of course1 at least in some      
directions1 mathematics and science     
being thus far not included4 ,george    
,eliot says of ,nancy in ,silas ,marner1
 that she often used ungrammatical      

language1 and was not highly educated1  
but that she was a thorough lady because
 she had delicate personal habits and   
high rectitude4  ,this brings us to the 
deep foundations4 ,a lady must be       
truthful4 ,and the outward marks of     
truthfulness are sometimes recognized   
when their source is misunderstood4 ,the
 lady wears real lace instead of a showy
 imitation4 ,if she cannot afford what  
is real1 she goes without4 ,she is as   
careful about neat underclothing as neat
 dress4 ,she does not pretend to        
accomplishments she has not4 ,indeed1   
the modesty essential to a lady is      
intimately connected with truthfulness4 
,when she is wrong she does not think it
 beneath her dignity to own it4 ,she    
never allows blame which belongs to her 
to fall on any one else4 ,she makes no  
display4 ,she wishes to be loved for    
herself and not because she belongs to  
the best set1 so she does not take pains
 to introduce the names of great        
acquaintances into her conversation4    

,and of course she always tells the     
truth4 ,she may observe all these things
 simply because it is good form1 but a  
truthful woman will observe them without
 knowing they are good form1 and she    
will be the real lady4  ,but one may    
have all the qualities we have          
enumerated and yet miss the charm we    
associate with the name lady4 ,a        
truthful person may not be kind4 ,a     
woman may love beauty and still be hard4
 ,a perfectly pure woman may be         
unfeeling1 perhaps all the more because 
she needs no charity herself4 ,but a    
woman who does not show consideration   
for others cannot be an ideal lady4 ,if 
she is considerate in a mechanical way1 
because she knows a lady must be so1 it 
does not amount to much4 ,and some women
 do all they can for others from a sense
 of duty4 ,they study to make others    
happy in even trivial ways4 ,they are   
good women1 and on the whole--ladies4   
,but the woman whose love for others is 
spontaneous1 who sheds the radiance of  

kindness about her because she cannot   
help it--she is the lovely lady whose   
charm we all feel4 ,truth and love are  
the eternal foundations of the character
 of a real lady4     ,,ix  ,,the        
,,problem ,,of ,,charity4   ,i suppose  
every large-hearted girl wishes to do   
some work which will add to the         
happiness of others1 and most girls     
would like to do a little1 at least1    
outside of their own immediate circle4  
,it seems to me that the most beautiful 
charity is always that which is done    
within one's own circle4 ,there is the  
personal giving1 the real denial of     
ourselves for others1 the doing of the  
duties which come to us rather than of  
those we have fancifully chosen4 ,and   
these duties are done for love4  ,do you
 remember how ,mrs4 ,pardiggle in ,bleak
 ,house tried to interest ,esther and   
,ada in some great schemes for doing    
good by wholesale1 and how ,esther      
modestly answered that they hardly felt 
equal to such great things1 but that    

they hoped if they were careful to do   
all they could for those immediately    
about them their circle would gradually 
widen8 ,this is the ideal way to do     
good4 ,you help your neighbor simply    
without any pretense or                 
self-consciousness4 ,she helps her      
neighbor1 and so on4 ,there need be no  
break in the chain from lowest to       
highest4 ,mrs4 ,whitney has taught      
beautiful lessons of this kind in her   
stories1 emphasizing the theory of      
nexts4 ,i have often thought this was   
the only kind of charity which did not  
injure the giver2 for the moment we try 
to help those perceptibly below us we   
are apt to be condescending and to feel 
a secret pride4 ,probably this inward   
satisfaction accounts for the readiness 
of many people to undertake forms of    
missionary work1 though they are by no  
means thoughtful of those around them4  
,there has often been bitter criticism  
of foreign missions to the heathen on   
this ground4 ,part of it is1 no doubt1  

just4 ,but as bitter criticism might be 
made of much noble work at home1 like   
that of the ,associated ,charities1 for 
instance4  ,in ,boston1 it is said1     
there is not one woman of any standing  
in society who is not interested in some
 charity4 ,most of their work is        
probably genuine4 ,it is done from a    
sincere wish to do the best thing--very 
likely in many cases simply to ease the 
importunate ,new ,england conscience1   
yet also1 no doubt1 with the hope of    
relieving suffering4 ,but we can hardly 
hope that much of it is ideal since the 
true charity is ,not what we give but   
what we share4  ,the women who are      
readiest to give their money and even   
their time to the desperately poor do   
not like to share their pew in church   
with some quiet person whom they        
consider below them in the social scale4
 ,some one tells of a woman who spent   
all her time in going about among the   
poor giving practical help1 but who     
really cared so little about those she  

helped that every day on her return from
 her rounds she amused the family by    
satirizing her pensioners4 ,she could   
not love them1 perhaps1 and it may still
 have been an excellent thing for her to
 help them4 ,nevertheless1 this was not 
the ideal charity4  ,there are a great  
many girls who would like to do some    
definite charitable work4 ,they would   
like to be the founders of a great      
charity4 ,they are ambitious1 and their 
ambition is1 on the whole1 a noble one4 
,some of them are so sweet and generous 
to everybody about them that ,i really  
think they might be trusted to do       
something on a large scale4 ,one of them
 might even oversee an orphan asylum2   
yet ,i do not think she could be such a 
blessing to little children as is a     
woman ,i know who is the matron of such 
an institution1 for this woman had an   
unsympathetic step-mother1 and she      
learned through a lonely childhood how  
to pity motherless children1 and ,i     
heard a thoughtful woman say of her     

orphan asylum1 ,it was a shabby place1  
but beautiful to me because there was   
such a motherly atmosphere about it4    
,others of these girls are too          
intolerant of everybody outside their   
own particular set to be allowed to do  
any work for the poor except to give    
money1 and even then there is danger    
they may be so lifted up by a sense of  
their own goodness that perhaps it would
 be better for them personally to spend 
the money extravagantly1 for then they  
would certainly be ashamed of           
themselves4 ,nevertheless1 the poor need
 their money1 so perhaps it is better   
they should give it4  ,this brings me to
 another point4 ,in the country it is   
still possible to keep to the ideal     
neighborly charity1 but in the city     
there are quarters where the misery is  
wholesale1 and wholesale scientific     
methods must be applied to relieve it4  
,the ,associated ,charities in ,boston1 
for instance1 do a kind of work which   
must be done unless we are willing to   

sit down and let all the innocent suffer
 with the guilty4 ,and many of the      
leaders have the ideal spirit1 and they 
hold up ideal standards for the visitors
 of the poor1 that is1 they ask us to   
visit the poor with love in our hearts4 
,the work to be done in cities is so    
enormous that every woman of leisure who
 feels the desire to help should        
certainly be encouraged to do so1 and ,i
 am even inclined to think that where so
 well-organized a system exists as in   
the ,associated ,charities1 it is a     
saving of energy for her to put herself 
under its direction though not so wholly
 as to allow her no means or leisure for
 her personal sphere of action to expand
 naturally4  ,as long as we try to do   
the nearest duties there will always be 
failure enough to keep us humble and to 
make it safe for us spiritually to      
undertake something beyond4 ,a girl     
tries to help her brothers1 and instead 
of admiring her for it they frankly tell
 her how far she fulls short4 ,but if   

she does a tithe as much for the poor   
she is likely to get some thanks1 more  
or less sincere1 and all her circle of  
friends admire her4 ,this pleasant      
encouragement does her no harm as long  
as she has the antidote of the family   
criticism1 so ,i would let every ardent 
woman have some outside work1 and the   
,associated ,charities will find room   
for every worker4 ,some women can help  
children by teaching them and amusing   
them1 and this is the most efficient    
kind of work1 for it prevents crime and 
misery4 ,some can sew for the poor1 some
 can cook1 some can manage tenement     
houses as ,octavia ,hill has done4  ,to 
give what we call practical help we must
 be practical ourselves4 ,i think if the
 busy housekeepers who do their own work
 have time to visit the poor1 their     
suggestions are of infinitely more value
 than any given by rich ladies who are  
making a business of charity2 but such  
women have little time1 so the rich must
 humbly try to take their place4  ,i    

know a charming girl whose mother does  
not allow her to go into the kitchen4   
,she found great difficulty at school in
 learning the weights and measures1 and 
at last her teacher asked her if she had
 ever seen a quart measure1 to which she
 replied doubtfully that she was not    
quite sure4 ,a few years hence she is   
certain to be what is called a friendly 
visitor4 ,i have no question about her  
friendliness1 and the poor will bless   
her sweet face1 especially when she     
gives them money freely1 as she can     
easily do1 but ,i should not expect her 
to be able to give them very useful     
advice about spending money--which they 
need still more4 ,it must not be        
supposed1 however1 that ,i scorn the    
kind of work she can do4 ,there is      
something better to be done for the poor
 than to teach them economy--even a wise
 economy--it is to rouse their higher   
nature4 ,i should think that no one     
could be an hour with this young girl   
without having some aspiration to be    

noble4  ,a beautiful and graceful woman 
has a unique work to do for the poor4   
,it is on the same principle that the   
,princess of ,wales can give pleasure by
 simply distributing the flowers in a   
hospital with her own hands4 ,it is     
possible for beauty to condescend       
without wounding4 ,a woman who is not   
outwardly attractive must do a different
 kind of work4 ,the first brings a      
poetic element into a dreary life1 and  
may even in this way arouse the         
aspiration for an unattainable ideal4   
,but a plain and awkward woman may be   
the inspiration of a still higher ideal 
by the radiance of her goodness4  ,when 
girls ask me1 as they often do1 what    
they shall do for others1 ,i find it    
impossible to answer4 ,their talents and
 their opportunities must decide the    
particular form of work4 ,but its real  
value will depend entirely on what they 
are4 ,i can only say that there is so   
much work to be done that each must do  
all she can2 that she must choose the   

thing she can do best and persevere with
 that quietly1 not trying to do many    
kinds of work at once2 that all she does
 must be done with love2 and that above 
all things she must not forget that her 
own circle of family and friends shows  
plainly the centre from which ,god      
wishes her to begin to work4  ,to the   
women who live in the country the circle
 widens naturally and beautifully4 ,if a
 neighbor is ill1 one sends in          
delicacies to the invalid1 another      
offers to take care of the children1 and
 a third acts as watcher4 ,when a       
drunkard reduces his family to          
destitution1 one neighbor sends a       
breakfast to them1 another flannel for  
the baby1 another finds work for the    
oldest girl1 and another pays the boys a
 trifle for bringing wood and water4    
,the cases of actual destitution are so 
few that they can all be met in this way
 unless the sufferers are too proud to  
let their wants be known2 and even then 
there is sure to be some real friend who

 goes to see them naturally without any 
thought of being a friendly visitor1 and
 thus comes to the rescue4  ,charity in 
the country is the natural flower of a  
loving heart4 ,if a woman has a         
beautiful home in the country1 it stands
 for a refining influence for the whole 
village1 for she usually opens it to    
those of her neighbors who can          
appreciate it1 since in the country     
there are not too many people1 and those
 of like tastes meet without regard to  
differences of fortune4  ,a woman in the
 country who has even a collection of   
photographs of beautiful pictures can   
easily make them a real blessing to many
 who have no other avenue open to art4  
,and so with books4 ,one owns a copy of 
,plato1 another of ,dante1 another of   
,goethe1 and these books circulate      
freely among all who care to read them4 
,they are better than a public library  
where the books must be hurried back at 
a given date4 ,they are sometimes even  
better than large private libraries     

where the number of books is            
distracting4  ,i know a young lady who  
is the only highly educated musician in 
a little country village4 ,she sings in 
the choir and makes the church service a
 new thing4 ,she good-naturedly steps in
 and trains the children in their       
choruses for festival occasions4 ,she   
has invited half a dozen young fellows  
to form a glee club and sing one evening
 a week in her parlor4 ,they all have   
musical talent1 and they are capable of 
appreciating her attractive manners1 but
 they had not before thought of any     
better way of spending their evenings   
than in screaming about the streets4 ,if
 a poor girl has a good voice1 this     
young lady finds time to teach her to   
sing4 ,i do not think it ever entered   
her mind that she was doing charitable  
work4 ,the work was directly in her     
pathway4 ,she could do it1 and having a 
large1 loving heart1 she has done it4   
,but there is no one in the village who 
has done so much to raise the tone of   

life there4  ,so the improvement of a   
country town goes on exactly in         
proportion to the loving-kindness of the
 people and their willingness to share  
whatever material and mental treasures  
they may have4 ,perhaps the same is true
 in the city2 but the number of         
treasures to be shared1 as well as the  
number of people to share them1 is so   
bewildering that it is next to          
impossible to bring form out of the     
chaos without employing scientific      
middlemen1 and the fascination about    
helping others almost vanishes4         
,nevertheless1 let us cling to the      
doctrine that        ',t is love1 't is 
love1 't is love that makes the world go
 round1   and even in the city we may   
all have hope4     ,x4  ,,the           
,,essentials ,,of ,a ,,home4   ,better  
is a dinner of herbs where love is1 than
 a stalled ox and hatred therewith4     
,that is1 it is the family which makes  
the home1 and this is even truer of the 
mother and her daughters than of the    

father and his sons4 ,sometimes even one
 sunshiny spirit in a house transforms  
it1 and where all the family are in     
harmony there cannot fail to be a home  
in the best sense4  ,but there are      
virtues and virtues4 ,i admire ,miss    
,strong1 indeed ,i love her1 ,i heard a 
lady say not long ago1 but ,i can't     
imagine her making a beautiful home     
under any circumstances4 ,yet ,miss     
,strong is gentle1 sweet-tempered1      
thoroughly unselfish and high-minded1   
quiet and unobtrusive1 neat and         
well-bred4 ,then what is wanting in     
,miss ,strong8  ,i think it will be best
 for ,jenny to teach1 wrote another lady
 in regard to a young girl in whom she  
was deeply interested1 and whose gifts  
and graces she had been cataloguing at  
great length4 ,at least1 what else is   
there for a woman to do who is          
thoroughly feminine but not at all      
domestic8  ,we think of unselfishness as
 the first need of a woman who is to be 
the presiding genius of a home2 but both

 ,miss ,strong and ,jenny are           
conspicuously unselfish4  ,it seems that
 though a fine character1 and           
particularly a loving one1 must be the  
foundation of the home1 yet certain     
special qualities are necessary4 ,among 
the thousands who have read ,robert     
,elsmere does any one feel that         
,catherine1 with all her earnestness and
 deep love of others1 made her          
girlhood's home a pleasant place8 ,she  
was ready to give up a home of her own1 
thinking her mother and sisters needed  
her1 and yet her sister ,rose1 at least1
 was secretly longing to be free from   
the constant influence of such severe   
moral standards4 ,in short1 ,catherine  
did not make her home comfortable4      
,comfort1 ,i think1 enters into every   
idea of a home4 ,we wish to be          
unrestrained there4 ,that1 however1 is a
 different thing from being lawless4    
,there must be moral restraints1 even   
for the sake of the comfort itself4     
,otherwise1 the freedom of one          

interferes with the freedom of another1 
and finally the reaction tells in the   
discomfort of all4  ,physical comfort is
 necessary in a home4 ,some of the best 
women do not understand this4 ,they are 
disgusted with the sarcasm that ,the    
road to a man's heart is through his    
dinner4 ,that would be disgusting if it 
were the whole truth4 ,but we must all  
eat every day of our lives1 and         
appetizing food prettily served adds    
much to the comfort of the day4 ,indeed1
 without it only a boor or a saint can  
be really comfortable4  ,women who are  
good cooks are sometimes ill-tempered   
and refuse to exercise their art4 ,but  
discomfort in the matter of dinner      
usually comes from a different kind of  
housekeeper4 ,there are some women who  
think it is a weakness to care about    
food4 ,their rule is1 ,eat what is set  
before you1 asking no questions1 a      
sufficiently good rule for those who are
 dining1 but a miserable one for the    
housekeeper to force upon others4 ,there

 are still other women who have a       
definite opinion as to diet4 ,they have 
studied food from a hygienic point of   
view1 and they watch the effect of every
 mouthful4 ,such a study ought to be    
useful1 but in point of fact it is a    
frequent source of discomfort4 ,nothing 
ever digests well when our mind is      
concentrated on our digestion4 ,one     
difficulty may be this4 ,the women who  
have turned their attention to this     
subject have often done so because they 
were invalids4 ,they find certain food  
injurious to them and decide it is      
injurious to everybody4 ,so a whole     
healthy household is restricted to the  
invalid's bill of fare4 ,the housekeeper
 is so certain she is doing her duty1   
that she easily steels her heart against
 the murmurs of her family1 and the     
discomfort continues4 ,a thoroughly     
healthy woman1 however1 will provide all
 the better for her family if she       
understands the effect of different     
articles of diet4  ,to be comfortable1 a

 house should be warm enough4 ,of       
course1 ,i do not mean that we need to  
breathe the superheated atmosphere which
 foreigners criticise in most ,american 
houses4 ,it is the mother of the family 
who must correct this4 ,she can easily  
do so1 because she has it entirely in   
her power to form the habits of her     
children in this particular1 and it is  
rarely the case that a man likes an     
overheated room until he has been       
trained by his more sensitive wife to   
bear it4  ,but ,i mean that nothing     
physical takes from the comfort of a    
home so much as chilliness4 ,so long as 
we are warm enough we may relish a very 
frugal dinner1 but a feast is           
unappetizing in a cold room4 ,indeed1 ,i
 believe we may economize in anything   
better than in fuel4 ,it gives a great  
sense of comfort in going into a house  
to find it warm all through4 ,many      
people1 however1 cannot afford such     
luxury4 ,but if you can only have one   
fire in the house1 see that that is     

always burning2 and if it must be in the
 kitchen in the cooking-stove1 keep the 
stove so bright that its black ugliness 
is a centre radiating cheerfulness4     
,there are plenty of homes in which     
there is no need of stint1 where through
 carelessness and neglect there are     
times when everybody in the house is    
shivering1 while perhaps at other times 
half the rooms are at a red heat4  ,i   
remember one of ,charles ,reade's heroes
 who was wavering between the           
attractions of two women1 and the       
novelist represents the simpler of the  
two as being careful that there should  
always be a blazing hearth when the     
lover came4 ,this innocent device gave  
him a sense of comfort which almost won 
his heart4 ,it seemed to me a touch of  
truth4  ,we cannot all afford open wood 
fires1 though their beauty and          
healthfulness make us wish we could2 but
 most of us can keep the clear fire and 
the clean hearth1 which ,mrs4 ,battle   
wisely considered the proper            

preliminaries to the rigor of the game4 
,though we want warm homes1 we do not   
want close ones4 ,most houses are not   
very well ventilated1 and if we keep our
 windows open in winter weather1 we must
 expect our bill for fuel to be a large 
one4 ,some of us are too poor to        
disregard this fact1 but most of us     
could probably afford to save enough in 
our dress to meet what ,i may call this 
necessary extravagance4 ,i have seen a  
great many landladies who looked so     
severe on seeing a window open in a room
 where the register was also open1 that 
the unhappy boarder felt at once like a 
culprit for even desiring both warmth   
and fresh air at the same time4 ,once1  
however1 ,i had the good fortune to know
 a woman of different views4 ,she bought
 a house expressly with the intention of
 letting it to transient lodgers4 ,she  
found1 as is common1 that the           
furnace-heated air which passed through 
the registers into the rooms came from  
the cellar4 ,she immediately made       

alterations1 so that the fresh outside  
air should be heated and carried over   
the house4 ,it costs more1 she said1 but
 dear me6 what is expense to fresh air8 
,moreover she said so much to her       
lodgers about the necessity of fresh    
air1 that all the windows in the house  
were always streaming open4 ,i once knew
 a lady who died of pneumonia from      
airing her room too much1 said the      
landlady1 but that was a beautiful      
death6  ,i doubt whether there is       
comfort under a system of ventilation   
which induces pneumonia1 but it         
certainly is luxury as well as comfort  
to let in all the fresh air we want and 
not to stint fuel4  ,plenty of light is 
another essential in a home4 ,most city 
houses are deficient in sunlight1 and   
most of them1 however richly furnished1 
are accordingly depressing4 ,whether or 
not the dreams of socialists can ever be
 realized we do not know1 but none is   
more alluring than that of the          
disappearance of blocks of houses4 ,if  

every house could stand in the midst of 
its own garden1 the gain would be as    
great in inner comfort as in outward    
beauty4  ,no one can tell the amount of 
near-sightedness caused by the effort to
 read and write in our dark city houses4
 ,rich people ought to be extravagant in
 the matter of light4 ,corner lots are  
worth buying1 and it is worth while to  
live on streets with only one side4     
,and when natural light fails let us    
have enough of the artificial4 ,even the
 poor who cannot have electricity or gas
 hardly need economize here with        
kerosene at its present rates4 ,a       
kerosene lamp1 to be sure1 is not often 
a beautiful or poetical object1 but with
 the right kind of care the vile odor   
may be suppressed1 and though this      
involves an additional burden for the   
housekeeper1 light is too essential for 
the work to be grudged4 ,a sufficient   
number of clean kerosene lamps will make
 a house cheerful from one end to the   
other4 ,now ,i have often noticed that  

women who are compelled to economize in 
little things are inclined to economize 
in all things4 ,they will strain their  
eyes for fifteen minutes after it is too
 dark to sew1 they will sit in a room   
dimly lighted by one lamp when two are  
necessary to make it attractive1 without
 stopping to think that twelve or       
fifteen cents worth of oil would supply 
three large lamps for a week6 ,and in   
this way they sacrifice not only        
cheerfulness1 but opportunities for all 
the family to do easy and comfortable   
work4  ,cleanliness is as essential in a
 home as over-neatness is destructive to
 it4 ,there is nothing homelike in any  
room that is in perfect order2 but1 on  
the other hand1 there is little of the  
home feeling in a room that is not      
bright and fresh with cleanliness4      
,tables littered with books1 chairs and 
sofas strewn with gloves and ribbons1   
and even a floor encumbered with a      
prostrate doll or two1 are cheerful2 a  
trail of leaves and mosses from a basket

 of woodland treasures is endurable     
dirt4 ,but dust in the corners which    
shows the dirt to be chronic and not    
accidental1 unwashed windows1 dingy     
mirrors1 etc41 etc41 have no redeeming  
quality4 ,it is a good thing for the    
mother of the family to love order1 but 
there is ample scope for that in keeping
 every closet and drawer and box and    
basket in a dainty condition4 ,however  
neat a room may be1 it is odious the    
moment an open drawer or closet reveals 
disorder4 ,the meaning of this is that  
the disorder which comes from daily     
happy living is delightful1 and that is 
what we see in the large confusion of a 
room when in use2 but the disorder which
 comes from carelessness about finding a
 convenient place for everything1 and   
from laziness about putting things in   
their places when we have done using    
them1 is not beautiful4  ,for the kind  
of neatness which makes a home homelike 
we must have room enough1 but not too   
much room4 ,this is rather a vague      

statement1 ,i know1 but the actual      
measurements of a house should vary with
 circumstances2 for example1 a large    
room with few people in it will always  
be stiff1 even if it is splendid2 while 
a small room filled with useless        
bric-a-brac will be uncomfortable even  
with a solitary occupant4 ,on the       
subject of bric-a-brac ,i feel strongly1
 and ,i will speak of it more fully     
elsewhere4  ,but ,i do not include      
pictures in the term bric-a-brac4 ,there
 ought to be pictures in every home for 
their intrinsic value4 ,fortunately they
 take up little room and are easily kept
 in order4 ,many of us do not agree     
about pictures4 ,most ,americans who buy
 oil paintings advertise their want of  
cultivation in their choice1 and even   
those who rigidly confine themselves to 
engravings and photographs of the old   
masters do not succeed much better4 ,i  
remember a man1 the son of a country    
minister1 who knew pictures only from   
the literary side4 ,he was a great      

reader1 and had been familiar with the  
names of ,raphael and ,da ,vinci and    
,duerer from childhood4 ,he knew well   
what were their masterpieces1 and when  
he went abroad he bought hundreds of    
photographs of these works4 ,his house  
was full of pictures2 there was not one 
among them which was not a copy of      
something really beautiful1 and not one 
copy which had any beauty in itself4    
,this man had not the sense of beauty1  
though he had the moral sense which led 
him always to wish for the best4  ,but  
all any of us can do is to express the  
best we know4 ,the essential quality in 
pictures in our own homes is that they  
should express the best we ourselves    
have reached4 ,still1 many pictures of  
high artistic merit are wanting in the  
real home charm4 ,i believe most of     
those which hang on our walls and are   
always before our eyes should be        
cheerful in character4 ,i sympathize    
with the old abbess who chose to have   
her rooms frescoed with ,correggio's    

happy cherubs1 and who liked to have    
constantly before her1 though in a      
convent1 his goddess ,diana1 whose smile
 some one has said is full of resolute  
sweetness4  ,i remember once having to  
pass a bitter hour of waiting in the    
drawing-room of a physician well known  
for his high culture4 ,every picture in 
the room was a work of art1 but every   
one was solemn and even severe4 ,dante1 
,savonarola1 the tombs of the ,medici1  
etc41 etc41 afforded no escape from sad 
thoughts4 ,the only relief was in the   
sweet serenity of ,emerson's face1 and  
even in this instance the most severe of
 all the portraits had been chosen4     
,there was not one point of color in any
 of the pictures1 but indeed most of us 
cannot afford paintings that are good   
for anything1 so ,i could not quarrel   
with that4  ,for a daily companion ,i   
would rather have a ,raphael than a     
,michael ,angelo1 and though for love ,i
 would slip in a ,millet or two1 ,i     
should not want a room full of ,millets4

   ,the heavy furniture of a home should
 be comfortable first of all4 ,the      
chairs should not all be of the same    
size and height any more than the       
people4 ,arm-chairs are better than     
rocking-chairs1 as they are less in the 
way4 ,the furniture should not be light 
enough to be easily overturned1 but the 
castors should always run easily4 ,a    
lounge is a homelike piece of furniture1
 but let us hope it need not be much    
used4  ,a word more to the young woman  
who is choosing furniture for half a    
life-time4 ,fancy you have it to dust6  
,you may have an army of servants1 but  
certain patterns of furniture can never 
be kept clean4 ,i remember two friends  
who chose furniture at the same time4   
,it was the era of black walnut and     
green rep1 and they chose sets looking  
much alike4 ,but in one case the walnut 
was elaborately carved1--by machinery1  
which made it all the rougher1--and     
there were many little grooves to invite
 the dust in the upholstery2 while in   

the other case the wood was simply      
moulded and polished1 and the cloth was 
so put on that one or two vigorous      
strokes of a brush would cleanse it4 ,it
 is true that heavy wood carved by hand 
is beautiful enough to repay us for its 
care1 but that being smoothly finished  
does not catch very much dust4   ,the   
evening should be the crown of the day  
in a home4 ,there are few homes where   
the evenings are as homelike as they    
could easily be4 ,this is partly because
 there are so many outside attractions  
both in the city and country4 ,now ,i am
 not of those who think it praiseworthy 
to be always at home4 ,i was told the   
other day of a steady young man who had 
not been out an evening in three years4 
,i felt no enthusiasm about him4 ,i     
think outside interests are absolutely  
necessary for any fresh or large life4  
,but ,i think when we find ourselves    
going out as many as half our evenings1 
we are really dissipated1 unless the    
circumstances are of a very unusual     

character1 for we need as many as three 
or four evenings in a week to develop   
true home life4 ,but in stay-at-home    
families1 though the evenings are       
pleasant1 ,i think they are seldom      
ideal4 ,the reason for this is that the 
days are so crowded4 ,the father and    
mother are tired1 and1 moreover1 the    
father has no other time to read his    
unnecessarily voluminous newspaper1 and 
the mother has no other time to do her  
unnecessarily elaborate sewing1 while   
the children generally have lessons to  
study4 ,even then1 a cosy room1 with    
plenty of fire and light1 where all the 
family meet together and feel no        
restraint1 is a cheerful though a silent
 place4 ,and we cannot all escape       
overwork however valiantly we fight our 
battle with non-essentials4 ,those who  
work ten hours in a factory1 for        
example1 have very little space for the 
other essentials of life1 and there must
 be crowding4 ,but some of us could     
simplify the day and so find room for   

unmitigated enjoyment in the evening4   
,sometimes sewing is pleasant in itself 
when cheerful conversation or reading is
 going on about us4 ,i suppose the      
mother's work-basket will usually form  
an attractive nucleus in any home       
picture1 and if there is not too much or
 too anxious sewing1 ,i believe most    
women like it4 ,and a moderate newspaper
 need not monopolize a whole evening4   
,there are occasionally times when a    
careless child should be made to study a
 lesson at night4 ,but the ideal evening
 at home is social1 and its occupations 
are such that all can join in them4 ,for
 myself ,i believe very fully in reading
 aloud4 ,but in any household happy     
enough to consist of father1 mother1 and
 children1 any book read aloud ought to 
be one which has some interest for all4 
,the father and mother may both be      
intensely interested in the philosophy  
of ,hegel1 but ,i should not like to    
think they would ask the children to be 
quiet that they might read it aloud to  

each other4 ,books of travel1 biography1
 novels1 and poetry1 appeal to all but  
the very young members of the family who
 ought to be in bed betimes4 ,of course 
the children do not take in everything  
in such books1 but that is not          
necessary4 ,if they only understand     
enough for enjoyment1 it is a healthful 
stimulus to meet with something they do 
not understand4 ,perhaps the father and 
mother will say regretfully that they   
have no other time for their special    
studies4 ,in the end the light          
literature may do them as much good as  
solid work1 but even if it does not1    
they can better lose something          
themselves in intellectual development  
while their brood of children is about  
them than to miss the full rounding of  
their home life4 ,if they live long1    
they will have too many quiet hours by  
themselves4 ,in many families1 however1 
the youngsters are more ready for solid 
reading than the older people4 ,it is   
often the elder sister who has to give  

up her ,german and science to read      
travels and stories to her parents as   
well as to the children4  ,drawing1     
fancy work1 sewing1 and whittling can   
all go on without disturbing the        
reading1 or a tired mother can lie on   
the lounge and listen2 but if any one   
must sit idle1 reading may grow tedious1
 though good plays in which each can    
take his part are generally enjoyed4 ,i 
was once in a home in ,switzerland where
 the family spent most of the evenings  
in reading ,racine1 ,moliere1 and       
,corneille4   ,no home is complete      
without music4 ,even a large piano which
 has seen its best days does not seem to
 be altogether a cumberer of the ground 
where another equally bulky piece of    
furniture would be unendurable4 ,but    
unless some member of the family has    
decided musical ability1 the best use of
 a piano or organ in a home is to       
sustain the uncertain voices in singing4
 ,home singing is almost a necessity    
even where no one sings very well4 ,i   

should not wish to encourage the        
unmusical to display their voices       
outside their own doors2 but if half a  
dozen members of a family are able to   
carry a tune1 and one of them can play a
 simple accompaniment correctly1 ,i     
think the singing of fine hymns and     
pleasant ballads at home will prove most
 delightful to them all1 besides bearing
 good fruit morally and physically4 ,a  
family happy enough to have a little    
higher endowment1 and a little more     
cultivation1 so that one plays a violin1
 one a flute1 and so on1 may have a     
little private orchestra which may give 
as much enjoyment1 and1 all things      
considered1 may be as elevating1 as the 
perfect work of great musicians4 ,it    
seems to me that any father and mother  
who wish the home to be dear to their   
children can afford to spend money on   
music far better than on many things    
considered more essential--clothes for1 
example4  ,but all the family circle    
ought be able to join in the evening    

occupations4 ,if only one is a musician1
 but a small part of each evening can be
 given to music4 ,on the other hand1 ,i 
have no mercy for the young lady who has
 had time and money lavished on her     
musical education1 who will not take the
 trouble to play to her brothers in the 
evening4 ,if she distrusts her powers   
she need never play to other people who 
may ask her out of compliment2 but when 
brothers ask their sisters to play1 they
 mean that they want the music1 and they
 should have it4  ,chatting is pleasant 
in the evening1 and does not interfere  
with a dozen other occupations4 ,one can
 even read a newspaper or a novel while 
the rest are talking4 ,little twilight  
chats by the fire when the children     
confess their misdemeanors to their     
mother1 or when the mother tells stories
 to the children1 are full of the spirit
 of home1 and there always ought to be  
some leisurely hours in every family    
when the father and mother and the      
grandfather and grandmother can relate  

old experiences to the younger          
generation4 ,if the older people would  
only remember to tell these tales for   
the sake of the younger and not to      
gratify their own garrulity1 so that    
they would dwell more on the events and 
customs and people of the past which    
ought to have a permanent interest1 ,i  
believe such chat would always be of the
 highest value1 and that the young would
 like it as well as the old2 but when it
 is mere gossip about people long dead  
the young have a right to be restless4  
,there is always danger that chat will  
degenerate into gossip1 so it is not    
generally best to have too many evenings
 devoted entirely to conversation4  ,the
 right kind of reading and music seem to
 me far better occupations for home     
evenings than games4 ,there is too much 
hard work in chess and whist and too    
little sociability to make them in any  
way desirable4 ,euchre and backgammon   
seem invented to pass away time1 which  
is so precious to most of us that we    

should like to feel we had something at 
the end of an hour by which our lives   
were richer than at the beginning4 ,yet 
games have their place4 ,young-people   
have their times of liking them4 ,if    
they really enjoy them and play with    
thorough good temper1 they get true     
recreation from them1 and all innocent  
enjoyment has a moral effect as valuable
 as the intellectual effect of a good   
book4 ,so a mother who wishes to make a 
true home for her children will not     
grudge whole evenings spent in games    
which would be unspeakably wearisome to 
her if played with people of her own    
age2 indeed1 the chances are she will   
thoroughly enjoy such evenings1 and be  
as interested in capping verses or      
asking twenty questions as any of the   
youngsters1 while if she is a worn and  
anxious mother1 such simple pastime may 
be the best refreshment4 ,i believe     
there is less to be said in favor of    
cards than of other games1 but ,i often 
think of the words of a friend1 ,we are 

strict people1 she said1 but when the   
boys were growing up and began to be    
wild for cards1 we played regularly     
every evening till they were tired of   
it1 and ,i think they did not care to   
play elsewhere4   ,if a home is to be   
ideal1 it must contain a father and     
mother and children4 ,a lonely man or   
woman who is so unfortunate as not to   
have this ideal home should1 ,i think1  
try to find as many of its elements as  
possible4 ,a man should not live        
altogether at his club1 and it is a pity
 for a woman to live permanently with   
women alone4 ,and a home is so          
incomplete without children that it     
seems almost necessary that every       
childless man or woman should adopt one 
or two4 ,unfortunately this is often    
impossible1 and then it becomes the more
 essential to seek for a boarding-place 
where we may get a little of the cheer  
of other people's children and at the   
same time practice some of the virtues  
which children always call out in older 

people4 ,no home is truly homelike in   
which there is not a large hospitality4 
,i have so much to say on this head that
 ,i must leave it for another chapter4  
,i have said little about the qualities 
of character which make a happy home4   
,beyond a loving nature1 on which all   
the others rest1 ,i know of nothing more
 essential than a serene temper4 ,let a 
woman be mistress of herself1 though    
china fall4 ,the daily temptations to   
irritation are incessant1 and           
irritability will destroy the comfort of
 any home1 even if it is well warmed and
 lighted and furnished with easy-chairs 
and sofas1 even if everybody is high    
minded and ready to take part in refined
 pleasures1 and even if room is made in 
the family circle for a host of         
agreeable friends4     ,,xi4            
,,hospitality4   ,no home is genuine    
which is not also hospitable4 ,just as  
we must go out to get fresh life1 we    
must welcome fresh life which comes in  
to us4 ,and further than that it would  

be a poor nature which found no one to  
love outside the home circle4 ,if we    
love any one we wish to share our life  
with our friend4  ,but it is impossible 
to be hospitable except by welcoming our
 visitors to our every-day life4 ,if we 
depart much from our usual customs1 our 
freedom is checked1 and the visit       
becomes a burden1 willingly borne1      
perhaps1 for the time1 but sure to be   
felt if often laid upon us4  ,a friend1 
well known in literary circles1 inviting
 me to visit her in a ,western city     
through which ,i was to pass on my way  
to another ,state wrote1 ,you must stay 
more than a day or two1 for1 if not1 ,i 
shall have to give up my time to you1   
and ,i can't interrupt my daily work6 ,i
 go into my library at nine o'clock     
every morning and stay till two4 ,but in
 the afternoon ,i drive1 and when in the
 evening my husband comes home from     
business and my children from school ,i 
give myself up to my family4  ,upon this
 invitation ,i determined to stay a     

week4 ,you must not come into my library
 in the morning unless ,i invite you1   
said my friend laughing2 but there is   
another library adjoining your room     
where ,i shall not venture to disturb   
you without leave6  ,i remember a home  
which opened very hospitable doors to me
 when ,i was a young girl1--that of a   
widow with two young daughters4 ,they   
were in straitened circumstances1 and   
could not effectively heat the large and
 handsome house left by the father of   
the family4 ,i ask you to come in the   
winter1 my dear1 the lady used to say to
 me1 because you live in the country and
 can sleep comfortably in a cold room3  
,i ask my city friends to come in the   
summer4 ,that1 ,i think1 showed a true  
spirit of hospitality4 ,she gave what   
she had to those who could enjoy it4 ,i 
shall never forget the cosy afternoons  
,i have passed in her warm sitting-room1
 while one read aloud and the rest did  
fancy work1 or sometimes the plainest of
 sewing4 ,we read novels1 some first    

rate1 some second1 or even third rate1  
without a thought of getting any benefit
 from them4 ,but we chatted and laughed 
and enjoyed ourselves4 ,or sometimes    
some of us would go into town to a      
matinee1 and coming home tingling with  
cold would find a hot and savory supper 
awaiting us in the bright dining-room1  
prepared by those who had stayed at     
home1 and who were eager to hear        
everything about the play which we were 
eager to tell4 ,there was no servant to 
trouble us1 and we all enjoyed ourselves
 together in washing the dishes4 ,we sat
 up as long as we pleased and toasted   
our feet1 and in zero weather even      
wrapped up a hot brick to take to our   
chilly beds4  ,but this lady was not    
without ambition4 ,she wished she could 
entertain more as other people did4 ,she
 thought she ought to give some parties1
 especially as she liked to go to other 
people's entertainments4 ,and so1 on one
 occasion1 she did give a party4 ,it was
 a grand affair4 ,the whole house was   

set in order and decorated4 ,caterers   
came from the city1 and her tables were 
beautifully laid with exactly the same  
salads and cakes that she was in the    
habit of eating at other houses4 ,her   
cards of invitation were of the choicest
 style1 and her house was filled with   
fashionable people1 since1 in spite of  
her reduced circumstances1 she had a    
perfectly assured position in society1  
and there was also a respectable number 
of unfashionable people present1 for she
 was too truly hospitable to leave out  
anybody she liked4 ,she was a skillful  
manager1 and succeeded in carrying      
through her undertaking for half the    
expense usual in such a case2 but it    
cost her sleepless nights4 ,of course1  
,the labor we delight in physics pain1  
and ,i am sure she thoroughly enjoyed   
her grand party which everybody said was
 perfect in all its appointments4       
,nevertheless1 her bills amounted to one
 sixth of the yearly income of the      
family1 so that she never gave another  

party till later in life1 when fortune  
suddenly smiled upon her again and put  
her in possession of a million4 ,i do   
not condemn her party1 but merely use it
 to point my statement that we cannot   
often exercise hospitality except as we 
admit our friends to our daily life4  ,a
 friend of mine who was making a tour of
 the ,south bethought her of a cousin in
 ,new ,orleans whom she had not seen    
since the war4 ,she wrote to her1 ,i am 
going to ,new ,orleans for a week or two
 and wish you might find me a           
boarding-place near you1 so that ,i     
could see you as well as the sights4    
,the ,southern cousin at once replied   
with a cordial invitation that the      
,northern cousin should visit her4 ,the 
,northerner had no idea of making a     
convenience of her almost unknown       
relative1 and declined2 but the         
,southerner insisted that the visit     
would be a real favor to herself4 ,that 
is1 she added1 if you can be comfortable
 in the way we live4 ,the ,northerner   

could hardly refuse longer1 but having  
certain fastidious ideas1 she was rather
 startled on reaching ,new ,orleans to  
find that her cousin's family1 in which 
there were eight children1 lived in a   
house of five rooms6 ,she felt1 in spite
 of her precautions1 she must be an     
intruder4 ,but the husband of her cousin
 said sweetly1 ,where there is room in  
the heart1 there is room in the house1  
and she stayed1 and had one of the most 
delightful experiences of her life4  ,i 
am afraid few ,northerners judged by    
this standard can be said to have room  
in the heart1 though ,i remember        
gratefully a minister's family in       
,massachusetts who lived in a little    
house and with narrow means1 and yet    
received with bright smiles all their   
friends from the towns around who chose 
to stay with them4 ,a brother minister  
would drive over with his whole family  
and stay a few days1 and no one ever    
suggested there was not room for        
everybody4 ,all the young collegiate    

cousins took this home in their way on  
their vacation tramps1 and brought with 
them as many of their classmates as     
chose to come1 never thinking it        
necessary to give any warning of their  
approach4 ,i have known as many as a    
dozen young cousins to be gathered in   
the house at one time1 the boys from    
,yale and ,amherst1 girls from ,new     
,york and ,philadelphia1 or from quiet  
country boarding-schools1--one indeed   
came all the way from ,london1--and they
 enjoyed themselves as much as the      
visitors in an ,english country-house4  
,they did not ride to the meet1 of      
course1 or attend a county ball2 but    
they went blackberrying together1 and   
they sang songs1 and played duets1 and  
had games of croquet1 and read ,french1 
and acted ,shakespeare under the        
apple-trees2 they climbed a mountain1   
and rowed on the pond1 and took long    
botanical expeditions4 ,the minister's  
wife was herself a delectable cook1 but 
she must have wrinkled her brow many a  

time in planning how to get enough bread
 and butter to go round even with the   
aid of the blackberries1 and some of the
 young fellows had to sleep on the hay  
in the barn1 though happily they had a  
natural bath-tub provided in a stream   
among the bushes behind the house4  ,the
 achievement of this hostess is the more
 notable because she was a ,new ,england
 housekeeper1 and her standard of       
neatness was high4 ,if she had attempted
 anything but the simplest manner of    
entertainment she would certainly have  
had nervous prostration4 ,but her       
simplicity of living saved her1 and she 
is still hale and hearty1 though she has
 passed the limit of threescore and ten4
  ,a friend who has lived much at the   
,south1 in speaking of the beautiful    
hospitality for which ,southerners are  
distinguished1 says that it comes partly
 from their easy way of taking life4    
,they do not think it necessary to put  
the house in order because guests are   
coming1 but let the guests take them as 

they find them4 ,more than that1 they   
are less given to pursuits than         
,northerners1 and so less easily        
disturbed4  ,believing1 however1 in the 
value of pursuits1 ,i have been         
interested in observing the manner of   
hospitality in a family among my        
friends4 ,the family consists of the    
father1 mother1 and three grown-up      
daughters4 ,all the daughters are       
earning their own living1 and the mother
 is much occupied in household cares4   
,it is a highly intellectual family4    
,all are readers and keep abreast of the
 literature of the day4 ,beyond that1   
one or another of them is always        
studying ,german1 or ,french1 or        
history1 or mineralogy1 or taking up    
some social reform4 ,two of them find   
time to write acceptably for magazines4 
,it would seem as if they could not have
 much leisure to entertain friends1 yet 
their great rambling house1 which stands
 in the midst of a shady old-fashioned  
yard and garden just outside the city1  

is seldom without a guest or two1 and   
there never was a place where a tired   
soul and body could find sweeter rest4  
,a cup and plate at table and a bed to  
sleep in are provided for the visitor1  
and so far there is not much trouble4   
,the family meet at the table1--when    
convenient1--and there is plenty of     
delightful chat4 ,one or another is     
often at leisure for a walk or a row or 
some other pastime1 but no one appears  
to feel it necessary to give up any of  
her ordinary occupations for the sake of
 the visitor4 ,i consider myself rather 
a particular friend of three of the     
family1 yet ,i have often passed a      
,sunday there without seeing more than  
one of the three4 ,the others had       
something to do on their own account4   
,one of them1 tired with her week's     
work1 likes to rest all day in her own  
room4 ,another is an ardent             
,episcopalian1 and wishes to follow all 
the church services from early morning  
through the evening4 ,as there are so   

many agreeable people in the family one 
is not often obliged to be alone1 but   
when left alone the sense of home       
comfort is only increased4 ,there are   
plenty of lounges and easy-chairs2 the  
large1 comfortable tables are strewn    
with all the latest magazines2 the      
bookcases are full of readable books1   
and the young ladies all have their     
individual collections of ,soule's      
photographs1 which are well worth       
lounging over4 ,the fires are always    
bright within1 and the long windows     
opening everywhere on piazzas and       
balconies command extensive and         
beautiful views4 ,the rooms are sweet   
with flowers in winter1 and the gardens 
are fragrant in summer4 ,one can lounge 
and read all day1 or take a walk1 or do 
a dozen other things4 ,the cheerful1    
interesting conversation at table1 and  
in the odds and ends of time through the
 day1 would be sufficient stimulus to   
all but the most exacting guests2 while1
 as a matter of fact1 there are always a

 few hours in the evening when everybody
 seems to be at leisure1 and these form 
the social centre of the day4 ,for my   
part ,i would much rather be entertained
 in this way than to have my footsteps  
dogged all day by some well-meaning and 
self-sacrificing devotee who tries      
conscientiously to amuse me4  ,one of   
the most hospitable homes ,i ever knew  
was made by two young ladies in ,boston4
 ,one of them was a country girl of     
genius and refinement who came to the   
city to do literary work4 ,here she     
formed a friendship with another young  
lady who liked to pass most of the time 
in ,boston for the sake of its          
advantages in music1 art1 and the       
theatre4 ,neither was rich1 but together
 they had a very respectable income4    
,they found a nice little flat of six   
convenient rooms in an accessible and   
pleasant but unfashionable street1 and  
furnished it with exactly the things    
they wanted to use every day4 ,the      
furnishings were thus simple1 but they  

combined comfort and beauty1 for both   
the young ladies had excellent taste4 ,i
 am tempted to describe all their       
original and charming arrangements1 only
 that would lead me too far4 ,i will    
only speak of their hospitality which   
was perfect4 ,they gave no parties nor  
even afternoon teas4 ,how could they    
without a servant8 ,indeed1 though they 
had the luxury of getting their own     
breakfast in their sitting-room at any  
hour of the day when they liked to eat  
it1 they were too much in the habit of  
eating their dinner at any restaurant   
near which they might happen to be when 
they were hungry to have inaugurated any
 extensive housekeeping4 ,moreover1 they
 could see their city friends whenever  
they chose for an hour or two at a time 
without the trouble of providing a feast
 or a band of music4 ,they always had   
bread and butter and fruit and various  
appetizing knickknacks stored away1 so  
that if a caller stayed till any one was
 hungry a sufficient lunch could be     

served on the spot4  ,but they exercised
 their hospitality chiefly for the      
benefit of their country friends whom   
they could not otherwise see4 ,many a   
nice old lady or bright young girl      
passed a week with them1 who would      
otherwise have hurried through her      
season's shopping in a day and have had 
no time left for music or pictures4     
,most of these friends could amuse      
themselves very well through the day4   
,if they did not know the way about1 one
 of the hostesses conducted them to the 
libraries or museums as she went her own
 way to her daily occupation4 ,there was
 always bread and cheese for them to eat
 if they chose1 and if they cared for   
something more they could find it at a  
restaurant as their entertainers did1 or
 they could cook it for themselves in   
the hospitable little kitchen4 ,a       
folding bed could always be let down for
 them at night1 and in times of stress  
another bed could be made on the sofa4  
,the hostesses spent little money or    

thought or time on their guests1 except 
so far as they really wanted to do so1  
and yet they entertained great numbers  
of people most satisfactorily4 ,they did
 not ask anybody to visit them from a   
sense of duty1 but they always asked    
everybody they fancied they should like 
to see without a thought as to          
convenience1 because it always was      
convenient to have anybody they liked   
with them4 ,we know that men enjoy      
giving invitations in this free way1 but
 they seldom have the power--for two    
reasons2 either their wives are not     
satisfied to entertain the friends of   
their husbands in simple every-day      
fashion1 or the husbands themselves are 
not satisfied to have them so           
entertained4  ,every one knows the great
 difference between city and country    
hospitality4 ,very few people in the    
city appear to be really pleased to see 
an uninvited guest1 and they are far    
less likely to invite guests1 except    
perhaps when giving a party1 than those 

of the same means in the country4 ,they 
are not altogether to blame in this4    
,there are so many more people to see in
 the city than in the country that every
 one becomes a new burden1 and the      
friendship must be very close indeed    
that survives such a strain4 ,but ,i    
fear it is also true that in the city   
the non-essentials of life have undue   
weight4     ,,xii4  ,,bric-,a-,,brac4   
,our lives are clogged with bric-a-brac4
 ,every separate article in a room may  
be pretty in itself1 and yet the room   
may be hideous through overcrowding with
 objects which have no meaning4  ,the   
disease of bric-a-brac ,i think1 is due 
to two influences1--the desire of       
uncreative minds to create beauty1 and  
the mania for giving ,christmas         
presents4 ,both these influences have a 
noble source1 and will probably reach   
more beautiful results at last4 ,any    
mind awake to beauty must try to create 
it1 and if its power and originality are
 not very great1 what can it do better  

than to apply itself to humble1         
every-day trifles and try to decorate   
them8 ,this is certainly right1 if the  
old principle of architecture is always 
remembered3 ,decorate construction1 do  
not construct decoration4 ,a few        
illustrations of my meaning may be      
needed4  ,i am obliged to use           
blotting-paper when ,i write4 ,i have   
always been grateful to a friend who    
sent me a beautiful blue blotting book1 
with a bunch of white clover charmingly 
painted on the first page4 ,it gives me 
pleasure every time ,i write a letter4  
,i am glad that one of my friends was   
artistic enough to embroider some fine  
handkerchiefs for me with a beautiful   
initial4 ,one of my dearest possessions 
is the lining for a bureau drawer made  
of pale blue silk1 with scented wadding 
tied in with knots of narrow white      
ribbon4 ,this lies in the bottom of the 
drawer1 and owing to the kindness of my 
friends shown at various times1 ,i am   
able to lay upon the top of each pile of

 underclothing either a handkerchief    
case or a scent bag of blue silk or     
satin4 ,some of these trifles are corded
 with heavy silk1 some are embroidered  
with rosebuds1 some are ornamented with 
bows of ribbon1 and altogether they make
 the drawer a thing of beauty which to  
me personally is a joy forever1 and they
 are never in anybody's way4  ,my friend
 has been less fortunate in the tributes
 of affection she has received4 ,she has
 several elaborate and even pretty ties 
which she is obliged to append to her   
sofas and easy-chairs4 ,they are        
believed to add to the harmony of       
coloring in her sitting-room1 but they  
are very likely to be askew when the    
sofas and easy-chairs are in use2 and as
 they always have to be rearranged      
during the process of dusting1 they form
 an argument for delaying that duty as  
long as possible4 ,she also has several 
head-rests and foot-rests1 in which the 
embroidery is exquisite in itself1 but  
which are so ill-contrived that they    

afford no rest to either head or foot4  
,they are worth having1 though1 she     
says1 because of their beauty1 just as a
 picture is worth having though you     
cannot use it4 ,yes1 replies her        
husband1 they are worth having1 but not 
worth having in the way4 ,i do not want 
even the ,sistine ,madonna propped up in
 my easy-chair4 ,most of her friends are
 learning to paint1 and many of them    
have chosen to give her at ,christmas   
specimens of their progress mounted on  
pasteboard easels4 ,these cover the     
tables and mantels and brackets of her  
sitting-room4 ,ah6 she says softly1     
under her breath1 if they had only      
thought to paint book-marks instead ,one
 can never have enough book-marks4 ,it  
would be delightful to have one in every
 book in the library1 and the more      
beautiful the better1 while the ugly    
ones1 which perhaps come from our       
dearest friends1 would be blessed for   
their usefulness besides being          
unobtrusive4  ,sweet temper is certainly

 essential to a happy home2 but if my   
friend were not too sweet tempered to   
hide these offerings from constant      
sight1 her sitting-room would not be so 
exasperating a place4 ,there is no room 
for a work-basket or a book on the      
tables4 ,one is continually upsetting   
some frail structure1 or tumbling over  
some well-meant aesthetic convenience4  
,christmas presents are worse than any  
others4 ,even a hideous and useless gift
 offered at any other season may be     
acceptable1 and we need not grudge it   
room1 because being spontaneous1 it     
represents love4 ,but even the most     
genuine ,christmas presents are becoming
 subject to the suspicion that they are 
given from a sense of duty1 because     
gifts at that season have become a      
habit4 ,i have no reason to suppose that
 any of my numerous kind friends grudge 
the ,christmas presents they so         
generously give me2 but ,i often find   
myself wondering how many of them would 
think of giving me anything as often as 

once a year if there were no special    
date to recall the custom to their      
minds4  ,gifts would be far more likely 
to be spontaneous if they were never    
given regularly2 if1 for instance1 we   
avoided giving anything next ,christmas 
to anybody whom we had remembered this  
year--excepting always to little        
children1 to servants1 and to the       
poor--the three classes to whom we never
 venture to give bric-a-brac1 knowing   
well they would laugh us to scorn       
instead of flattering us by calling our 
contributions perfectly lovely4 ,now1   
when a gift is spontaneous1 its value is
 quite irrespective of its use1 but at  
the same time it is far more likely to  
be both beautiful and useful4 ,we read a
 book that moves us4 ,how we wish we    
could share it with one friend who      
particularly enjoys such a book6 ,we    
send it to her1 and it is exactly the   
thing she wants4 ,on the other hand1    
,christmas is approaching4 ,what shall  
we give our friend8 ,she likes books4   

,well1 then1 here is a prettily bound   
volume which is well spoken of4 ,we have
 no time to look farther1 and we send it
 to her4 ,she thanks us in a pretty     
note1 but is too busy in writing a      
hundred notes of thanks to read the book
 then4 ,it is laid by and perhaps       
forgotten4  ,we are making another      
friend an informal visit4 ,we see that  
her needle-book is getting shabby4 ,we  
hasten to get bits of kid and silk and  
flannel1 and make her a new one with our
 daintiest stitches1 and she is         
delighted4 ,she uses it every day1 and  
likes to remember that we thought of her
 comfort4 ,but what shall we give her   
for ,christmas8 ,we think she has       
everything4 ,we have too many friends to
 remember now1 for time for such a      
dainty piece of sewing4 ,let us buy her 
some kind of an ornament4 ,it is true   
that the ,french clock and the vases and
 the match receivers and two or three   
pictures on easels already crowd the    
mantel-piece1 but there is an odd little

 bronze image which would not be amiss  
among them4 ,it costs rather more than  
we can afford to pay1 but we love her1  
and wish to give her something1 and are 
at our wits' end to know what4 ,she     
receives it graciously1 and every time  
she dusts her ornaments she remembers us
 affectionately4 ,i don't grudge dusting
 this1 she says sweetly to herself1 for 
my dear friend gave it to me1 and ,i    
would do a great deal more than this for
 her4 ,of course1 in a family where a   
servant dusts1 the present is forgotten 
the moment it is placed on the shelf4   
,i remember the dearest of little girls 
who once made me a ,christmas present of
 a purse of her own embroidering4 ,the  
colors she chose were brilliant1 but    
hardly beautiful2 the material rather   
flimsy1 the sewing was far beyond       
criticism1 and if ,i had ever been rash 
enough to intrust any money to such a   
purse1 ,i should have returned home     
penniless4 ,but ,i was enchanted with   
the gift4 ,i shall keep it as long as ,i

 live wrapped in the crumpled tissue    
paper in which this darling child folded
 it in her wish to make it look as      
attractive as possible4 ,i can never    
even think of this gift without fancying
 the tiny unskillful fingers as they    
toilsomely labored over those silks that
 would catch and twist1 and ,i think of 
the sweet brow and eyes which bent over 
the work1 and am as sure as if ,i had   
seen it of the loving smile which       
hovered about the childish lips at the  
thought that she was going to give me a 
pleasant surprise4  ,but as this little 
maiden grew up the cares of ,christmas  
multiplied4 ,there came a time when she 
had money to spend1 and a host of       
friends to spend it upon1 and when she  
certainly had not time personally to    
conduct the making of the number of     
,christmas presents she thought         
necessary to bestow4 ,she was much too  
loyal to leave me out on this occasion1 
and if ,i were to judge of the degree of
 her affection by the proportion of her 

money which she spent upon me1 she must 
have regarded me still as one of her    
dearest friends4 ,she gave me a pair of 
exquisite cut glass vases1 which1 when  
placed in the sunshine1 were certainly  
most beautiful with the flashing of     
colors4 ,their outline too was a lovely 
curve1 but unfortunately such that it   
was impossible to put any flowers in the
 vases4 ,at the base they were too      
slender to receive even one rose-stalk1 
while they were so broad at the top that
 it would have required a whole nosegay 
to fill them4 ,if ,i had had a vast     
empty drawing-room which was to be      
filled with bric-a-brac1 ,i could have  
found a place for them2 but they were   
too delicate for my tiny parlor where   
there is so little elbow-room that      
slight things are in danger of being    
overturned4 ,of course ,i prize the     
vases and love the giver1 but ,i know   
she never would have given them to me   
but for the feeling that the time had   
come to make a present2 and so1 while ,i

 shall cherish the little purse as long 
as ,i live1 ,i have resolved that if the
 vases are ever broken1 ,i will not     
treasure the fragments4  ,from these two
 roots1 the love of creating beauty and 
the desire to express love for our      
friends on the same day of every year1  
such luxuriant vines have grown that    
unless we prune them carefully we are in
 danger of being completely entangled by
 them4 ,there are still1 perhaps1 some  
waste places which our useless          
bric-a-brac might make beautiful1 and if
 we know any bare homes1 let us by all  
means do something to brighten them2 but
 let us not make for ourselves or give  
to our friends any small article which  
does not express use as well as beauty4 
,we need not be at a loss if we remember
 ,oscar ,wilde's declaration that every 
article used in a house should be       
something which had given pleasure to   
the maker1 that is1 that it should be   
artistic4 ,when all useful bric-a-brac  
has become beautiful1 we shall no longer

 desire to make or possess beautiful    
bric-a-brac which is not useful4 ,of    
course ,i know that ,beauty is its own  
excuse for being1 and ,i see in a fine  
picture1 for instance1 an appeal to the 
higher faculties which is more useful   
than usefulness4 ,this ,i do not see in 
bric-a-brac1 certainly not if the       
objects are to be so crowded in a small 
room that no one can see anything more  
than prettiness in them4 ,instead of my 
beautiful vases with their shifting     
lights1 which do1 after all1 give me    
real pleasure sometimes when ,i am not  
too anxious lest ,i should break them1  
cut glass tumblers would have given me  
the same aesthetic enjoyment renewed at 
every meal4 ,i might break a tumbler to 
be sure1 but ,i should have the full    
enjoyment of it while it lasted4        
,,xiii4  ,,emotional ,,women4   ,a      
highly emotional young lady was once    
defending the reasoning powers of her   
sex at the dinner-table of a cultivated 
and fair-minded physician who finally   

took occasion to say sweetly to her3 ,no
 doubt the reason of women equals that  
of men2 but ,i believe the trouble is   
that all men like a woman a little      
better if she is governed by feeling    
rather than by reason4  ,oh1 said the   
young lady in a glow1 that is like      
saying that you would a little rather a 
woman would not be truthful6  ,i hope   
not1 said the physician4  ,the friend   
who told me the anecdote added that of  
the two young ladies who were at the    
time members of the physician's family1 
there was no question that he greatly   
preferred the one who was most          
reasonable and least emotional6  ,some  
one else tells me of a clever young lady
 who applied for a position as dramatic 
critic upon a newspaper4 ,the editor    
recognized her ability and her knowledge
 of the drama1 but he said he was afraid
 to employ a woman in such a department1
 lest her feelings should prevent her   
telling the exact truth4 ,she would be  
biased herself1 and praise the things   

she liked1 and then she would have her  
personal favorites among the actors4    
,the young lady who believed herself    
capable of justice was greatly hurt4    
,are women really excessively emotional8
 ,and if so1 is it well that they should
 be8  ,i suppose most people would agree
 that women are more emotional than men1
 and that this peculiarity comes in a   
great measure from their delicate       
physical organization1 and in a great   
measure from the encouragement they get 
from men in indulging their feelings4   
,nobody admires a woman when her        
emotions reach the point of hysteria1   
and1 in fact1 those who have encouraged 
her up to that point are often least    
patient with her when the crisis comes4 
,the general belief about hysteria is   
that it is caused by the culpable       
weakness of a selfish nature1 and that  
is often true4 ,but there are important 
exceptional cases becoming more and more
 numerous1 where the parents have       
cultivated what they and their friends  

consider fine feelings so assiduously   
that the poor child is born helplessly  
weak and nervous1 and a prey to every   
vibration in the spiritual atmosphere   
about her4  ,now what are fine feelings8
 ,jealousy1 envy1 hatred1 and others of 
that class are not fine1 and yet they   
are extremely common among those women  
who are sensitive and highly organized4 
,they do belong more frequently than we 
sometimes think to the outfit of an     
emotional woman4 ,a woman who would not 
hurt a fly has violent antipathies to   
excellent people4 ,she would not hurt   
them either4 ,she would delight in      
giving them food and clothing if they   
were in want4 ,she wishes she need not  
hurt their feelings1 but she usually    
does give pain1 because her own feelings
 are paramount4 ,the important point    
however is that she is unjust in her    
judgments4 ,she exaggerates the faults  
of her foes1 as well as the virtues of  
her friends1 and widens every breach4   
,but we all know that jealousy and envy 

and hatred are wrong1 even if we        
endeavor to dignify them with finer     
names1 and all of us who have any moral 
purpose do make our stand against them4 
,when1 therefore1 we speak in praise of 
a woman's emotional nature1 we are      
thinking of a nature in which generosity
 swallows up justice1 and duty is       
forgotten1 because love is an unerring  
law4 ,we cannot be too generous1 or too 
loving1 or too sensitive to beauty and  
honor4  ,but men are as generous and    
loving as women1 so1 after all1 we do   
have something a little different from  
this in our minds when we speak of the  
emotional nature of women4 ,do we not   
mean that a woman is unreasonable8      
,love can never be too great1 but it is 
often unwise4 ,all affectionate women   
who have reached middle age must have   
received many confidences from girls who
 have been mistaken in supposing        
themselves loved by men who have grown  
tired of them4 ,a girl often suffers    
intensely in such a case1 and it is hard

 to know how much is due to wounded     
love1 and how much to wounded pride4 ,i 
suppose most of us have been astonished 
to see how often when a girl's life     
seems both to herself and her friends to
 have been utterly wrecked she is       
capable of responding to a new lover1   
and if he proves to be a fine man1 how  
full and fine her own life becomes4     
,this is right1 and most natural to the 
most emotional natures1 that is1 to     
those which answer most readily to      
outside influences4 ,yet we all have a  
feeling that sudden and frequent changes
 of this kind show a shallow character1 
and girls sometimes make a pathetic     
struggle to resist new possibilities of 
happiness1 because they cannot bear to  
admit that the old love can die4  ,the  
weakness of character in this case comes
 from the being ready to love any one   
who will make us the central figure     
without regard to any more solid        
foundation4 ,such love comes from vanity
 and is good for nothing4 ,a girl cannot

 be too careful to guard against such an
 emotion4  ,and then1 why should a woman
 cease to love a man simply because she 
is disappointed to find that he does not
 love her8 ,many times the fault is her 
own4 ,she has believed he loved her     
because she wished to believe so4 ,but  
if she has loved him because he was     
worth being loved1 she has a right to   
cherish that love even when she knows it
 is hopeless1 provided she does not hurt
 other people4 ,i think it is happily   
not often that an altogether hopeless   
love continues long in full vigor1 but  
occasionally it does4 ,if the old lover 
marries1 the woman who cannot conquer   
her love certainly ought to separate    
herself as far from him as possible4    
,any fine theory of being able to be a  
silent providence in his life is sure to
 prove fallacious1 and to bring         
suffering to somebody4 ,and it is not   
best for her to say much to her own     
friends of her sorrow4 ,she either pains
 them or tires them4 ,any love which    

causes her to do this is unreasonable4  
,i suspect that some women find their   
love slipping away from them and try to 
hold it fast by the expedient of talking
 about it4 ,no love that has to be held 
in that way is worth keeping4 ,there are
 loves we should cherish just as there  
are others which we ought to cast out1  
but nothing is real which cannot be     
retained except by making ourselves a   
burden to other people4  ,another       
unreasonable love is that which a woman 
feels for a man who has really treated  
her dishonorably4 ,it is true that we do
 not love simply for merit4 ,there are  
sympathies between men and women as     
between parents and children with which 
merit has little to do4 ,one great      
reason that emotional women attract men 
is because they can make a hero out of  
such unheroic stuff4 ,and why should we 
try always to see the exact reality as  
if that were nearer the truth than the  
same reality transfigured by ideal      
light8 ,the more we believe in others1  

the better and happier we all are4 ,a   
man full of faults1 selfish1 and even   
vicious1 may be helped by a woman who   
trusts him4 ,but when he has forsaken   
her1 it is not often that she can be of 
much real service to him4 ,she must     
indeed forgive him1 but when she has    
genuinely forgiven him1 the glamour of  
love will usually have disappeared4 ,if 
she insists upon shutting herself up    
from other love for his sake1 she should
 question herself as to the part        
sentimentality and perversity bear in   
her character4  ,most of the best work  
done in the world is done in the face of
 what seem to be insurmountable         
difficulties4 ,our faith moves          
mountains4 ,an impossible duty is done4 
,the fact that women ignore the         
impossibility is their strongest power4 
,this1 ,i suppose1 is what the physician
 meant when he said that men liked a    
woman a little better if she was not    
always governed by reason4 ,love        
believeth all things1 hopeth all things1

 endureth all things4 ,we all like to   
have such love as that lavished upon us4
 ,it is a noble love which glorifies the
 object by keeping in view all the time 
the ideal which is to be some day       
realized4 ,it is something very         
different from the weak love which      
distorts the object simply because of   
its personal connection with us4 ,but no
 doubt women who are weakly emotional in
 this way do have a great attraction for
 men1 that is1 so long as the man       
himself is an object of their emotions4 
,such women are pretty sure to have     
lovers when better and more unselfish   
women are overlooked4 ,they do not wear 
very well1 and men tire of them1        
especially when they exercise their     
emotions in new fields2 and as wives    
7after marriage7 and sisters and mothers
 they prefer the quieter and less       
impassioned women4 ,but the great and   
ardent loves which influence a life     
still belong to the women of ardent     
feelings4  ,ardent feelings well        

controlled1--that is our ideal2 but how 
few women of strong feelings do control 
them well1 and how few who have perfect 
self-control have very strong feelings6 
,which shall we choose1 the strong      
feelings or the self-control8 ,we have  
not complete choice in the matter1 for  
we must begin with the temperament we   
are born with4 ,others may choose to    
love or hate us for the temperament we  
are not responsible for1 but what can we
 do for ourselves8  ,i believe the      
hardest task is that of the cool-blooded
 women4 ,how are they to make themselves
 feel without becoming hypocrites8      
,pretending to feel any emotion is no   
help in feeling it4 ,nevertheless1 we   
are not entirely helpless4 ,there are   
ways of nourishing noble germs of       
feeling even when the natural soil is   
cold and dry4  ,one way is to clear the 
ground of weeds4 ,a cool nature is      
sometimes peculiarly prone to envy and  
suspicion4 ,a woman with little love of 
her fellow-creatures sits alone in her  

home day after day1 and thinks of her   
own troubles and the shortcomings of her
 neighbors till it seems impossible to  
love anybody but herself4 ,such emotions
 as stir the dull current of her life   
are all selfish4 ,but if she has the one
 saving virtue of being able to perceive
 her narrowness1 the remedy is in her   
own hands4 ,for she can go out and speak
 to somebody1 and even a passing        
greeting sometimes sets the blood       
flowing afresh4 ,and there is always    
somebody she can help1 though1 it may be
 only a child who is in some trifling   
difficulty4 ,every act of this kind     
makes another easier1 and every such act
 nourishes the little germ of love in   
the heart4 ,i have no doubt that        
persistence in doing small kindnesses   
for every one about her would be potent 
enough to transform the coldest of us   
into a woman glowing with love4 ,yet ,i 
cannot say ,i have ever seen such a     
transformation4 ,i suppose that is      
because the cold nature does not        

perceive its coldness or desire to      
change4 ,still there are surely some of 
us who know that love in us is only a   
stunted plant1 and who do sincerely     
desire its more luxuriant growth4 ,those
 of us who have ardent feelings towards 
our friends know that we are often worse
 than cold towards those we do not      
fancy4 ,we sometimes1 alas1 take a      
certain pride in our sensitiveness in   
this particular4 ,we justify our hatred 
for uncongenial people till we have     
fairly faced the truth that love is the 
law of our being1 and that we must love 
our neighbor4 ,then1 though we cannot   
change our temperament1 yet by the doing
 of prosaic duties1 the germ of love may
 be made to bud and blossom4 ,at least  
do not let us allow the turmoil of      
every-day affairs to crowd out love4 ,we
 have not time to see our friend4 ,a    
letter written to us with love and care 
is hastily skimmed and thrown aside4 ,we
 do not answer it for many weeks1 and   
then our haste is our apology for saying

 nothing we really care for4 ,and by and
 by the love grows faint4 ,perhaps our  
friend dies1 and the package of         
affectionate letters we once saved as   
precious lies forgotten in a drawer4    
,our friend did not fail us1 we should  
love her just as dearly again if we were
 with her daily1 but the love has been  
crowded out4  ,now1 some of us are      
really overtasked with necessary work2  
but usually our hurry comes from our    
ambition or our indolence4 ,if love were
 really first with us1 we should find   
time for our friends4  ,but some of us  
are so placed that we are continually   
meeting new people whom we can warmly   
love4 ,now there is a limit to the      
number of people who can form a part of 
our daily life4 ,it is possible to love 
a hundred people dearly1 but it is not  
possible to talk intimately with a      
hundred people every day1 or to write a 
hundred affectionate letters every week4
 ,but because we cannot cling closely to
 so many1 let us not believe that we    

cannot cling closely to a few4 ,let us  
at least hold fast to a few friends1 and
 without trying to form a part of the   
lives of the rest meet them all warmly  
when we do meet4 ,we cannot love too    
much or too many people1 and loving one 
helps us to love another1 but we can    
only fully give ourselves to a few4   ,i
 seem to be speaking altogether of      
nourishing emotion1 and we ought to     
nourish noble emotions4 ,but the task   
set especially to women is to control   
less noble emotions4 ,we know well      
enough what is our duty in regard to    
jealousy1 envy1 and so forth1 though so 
many of us who mean to be good women do 
not make a very heroic struggle even    
here1 and perhaps justify our weakness  
by the plea that our feelings are       
strong4  ,i will therefore speak        
particularly of some of our failings    
which lean to virtue's side4 ,what is   
it1 for instance1 to be a sensitive     
woman8 ,the highest women are           
exquisitely sensitive1 they respond to  

beauty1 to love1 to truth1 and goodness 
instantly4 ,but suppose they also       
tremble at ugliness1 and shrink from    
pain8 ,the two kinds of sensitiveness do
 often exist together4 ,the perfect     
woman would follow the example of       
,christ and look through outward        
ugliness and suffering to inward beauty 
and goodness1 and would keep herself    
unspotted from the world not by         
shrinking from it1 but by helping it    
upward4  ,but as we are imperfect1 our  
sensitiveness shows itself most         
frequently in making us feel every jar  
to our pride and vanity4 ,and we make a 
virtue of this4 ,we ought to guard      
ourselves against such sensitiveness4   
,it is a fault which lies very deep4 ,it
 is almost impossible for a very        
sensitive woman to be just4 ,in fancying
 wrong to herself she imputes wrong to  
everybody about her4 ,in trying to      
shield herself she wounds others4 ,she  
fears a slight was intended1 and rather 
than submit to it1 deliberately hurts   

some one who she knows may be innocent4 
,would it not be better to believe that 
the person who has hurt her is innocent1
 and submit to the slight even if it was
 intended8 ,what harm can it do her to  
think a guilty person innocent8 ,and    
what harm can a slight do her8 ,but it  
always does harm to stoop to an ignoble 
feeling4  ,let us at least be just4 ,but
 the special accusation against women is
 that they are not just1 and sometimes  
their special virtue is believed to be a
 romantic generosity which shuts out    
justice4 ,women are prone to be so      
generous to one person as to be unjust  
to another4 ,they are strong partisans1 
and are determined to believe those they
 love always in the right4 ,that seems  
like an amiable failing2 but is it8 ,do 
we wish even our enemy to be wronged to 
save our friend8 ,i think every         
high-minded woman would choose to be    
just1 even if she must make her friend  
suffer2 but it is very hard to live by  
that standard4  ,most men who write     

novels describe women as ready to       
forgive the man who has forsaken them   
for another woman1 but as implacable    
towards the rival however innocent she  
may be4 ,there is too much truth in such
 a picture1 but the best women know that
 good women are not so unjust4 ,that    
,dorothea in her anguish at finding     
,will ,ladislaw singing with ,rosamund  
,lydgate should do her utmost to help   
,rosamund take a better stand is of     
course unusual1 but it is not unnatural4
 ,that was a splendid kind of generosity
 which did indeed swallow up justice1   
but it was founded on justice1 the      
justice which strove to restore all     
things to their true relations4 ,if any 
girl is puzzled as to the true province 
of feeling1 and wishes to know how to   
reconcile warm-heartedness and          
self-control1 let her read the wonderful
 chapter in ,middlemarch which describes
 the interview between ,dorothea and    
,rosamund4  ,wherever we have to choose 
between justice and generosity we must  

be just4 ,otherwise1 our generosity is  
mere sentimentality4 ,and it does no    
good even to the person on whom we      
lavish it4 ,perhaps justice in its      
highest sense includes generosity4 ,it  
is just that the rich should help the   
poor1 and more truly generous to give   
with that thought than with the feeling 
that one has done something meritorious 
in giving4 ,it is also mere justice that
 in dealing with our fellow-creatures we
 should always think of them as they may
 be1 as they ought to be1 and not to    
remember simply what they are4 ,our     
faith in them helps them to rise1 but   
not our pretense that they are right    
when they are wrong4  ,after all1       
however1 who is perfectly balanced8     
,there are worthy women who have all    
their feelings well in hand1 who are    
pleasant to live with1 and who do an    
immense amount of good in the world1 and
 yet who never rise above               
common-placeness1 and never lift anybody
 else much above the material plane4    

,and there are other women so ardent and
 generous and loving that they seem to  
lend wings to everybody they meet1 who  
are yet crushed and ruined themselves by
 the excess of their grief not only for 
their own sorrows1 but for those of the 
whole world1 until by and by they drag  
their dearest and most sympathetic      
friends down into the same abyss of woe4
  ,how shall we keep the true balance8  
,i believe that it always is kept by    
religious faith1 though that too is     
frequently distorted4 ,the one thing    
necessary to believe is that a good ,god
 rules the universe4 ,there is no limit 
to the love we may give to such a being 
or to the creatures ,he has made1 and   
there is no sorrow which cannot be      
comforted by the thought that love      
underlies it1 and that it has a meaning 
though we cannot see it1 and there is   
nothing else which is so sure a spur to 
duty4  ,even this simple creed1 however1
 is not possible to all of us4 ,the     
upheavals in religious beliefs which    

this century has seen reach even        
emotional women and unthinking girls4   
,we cannot believe a thing simply       
because we should like to believe it4   
,without this one article of faith1 ,i  
believe happiness to be impossible1 but 
we need not fail in our duty4 ,a noble  
woman whose beautiful life is a         
benediction to all about her1 but whose 
suffering has been intense1 says that as
 her life has been an exceptionally     
favored one1 it is impossible for her to
 believe in ,god4 ,but she adds1 ,though
 things are not for the best1 we must   
make the best of them4 ,we can always   
lighten somebody's burden4 ,i believe   
she is wrong in saying things are not   
for the best1 but there could be no more
 sublime resolution than to determine to
 do all we can to make wrong right4     
,,xiv4  ,a ,,question ,,of ,,society4   
,i cannot say how it is in other places1
 but every one who knows much of society
 girls in ,boston must have been struck 
with a certain earnest note which sounds

 through all their frivolity4 ,few of   
them are satisfied to be simply society 
girls4 ,they wish to identify themselves
 with some charity1 or to make a        
thorough study of some art or science4  
,it may be due to their ,puritan        
ancestry1 forbidding them to make       
pleasure the only business of life4     
,many of them seem to be always on the  
eve of revolt and ready to give up      
society altogether4 ,they join a        
,protestant sisterhood or even become   
,roman ,catholics1 or they enter a      
training-school for nurses4 ,i heard    
only the other day of one of the        
loveliest buds of this season who has   
already decided that a society life is  
an unsatisfactory one1 and who is almost
 prepared to go as a missionary to      
,india4  ,a young girl told me not long 
ago that she was wretched at the thought
 she must soon leave school1 for she    
dreaded the society life from which     
there seemed no escape4 ,she wished to  
find some charitable work instantly     

which would be on the face of it so     
absorbing that it would be a complete   
excuse for her to refuse all            
invitations4 ,she is only one among many
 who have the same feeling4  ,it is hard
 to know what to say to such a girl4    
,motives are so mixed that it is hard to
 stimulate the growth of the wheat      
without stimulating that of the tares   
also4 ,most serious women would regret  
to see any young friend become a mere   
society girl1 but how far it is best for
 a girl to give up society it is not    
easy to say4  ,circumstances make       
different duties4 ,the pathway of some  
girls lies directly through society4 ,at
 the suitable age their sisters1 their  
mothers1 and even their grandmothers    
have formally come out1 and have at once
 been overwhelmed with invitations to   
the best houses in the city4 ,if such a 
girl has it in her mind to rebel against
 precedents she would do well to        
consider carefully what ,holmes has said
 in another connection3 ,there are those

 who step out of the ordinary ranks by  
reason of strength2 there are others who
 fall out by reason of weakness4 ,for   
instance1 a girl is painfully conscious 
of her plainness4 ,her sister was a     
beauty and made a sensation when she was
 introduced4 ,the plain girl dreads the 
comparisons which will be made1 and     
shrinks from the social failure which   
she foresees4 ,her feeling would justify
 her in making no attempt to get into   
society if she were outside the charmed 
circle1 but it would probably be a      
weakness to yield to it since she is    
already within4 ,her objection is not to
 society but to the place she is likely 
to fill in it4 ,probably the finest     
discipline of her life will be in       
accepting her place4 ,if she can forget 
herself1 or1 at least1 remember that it 
makes no real difference what others    
think of her1 she will soon gain the    
quiet ease which is sometimes even more 
winning than beauty4 ,this will be an   
attribute of character1 and every       

person's influence is needed in society 
who commands interest by essential      
rather than non-essential qualities4    
,then1 if she is a wall-flower she is   
sure to have time to relieve the misery 
of some other wall-flower1 and as there 
are always a good many uninteresting    
people at any party she will find her   
mission increasing upon her hands4 ,when
 she has thoroughly conquered her dread 
of society she will have a right to     
reconsider the question and decide      
whether she can use her time to better  
advantage4 ,if she retires before       
fighting her battle she will probably   
always look upon her beautiful sister's 
love of balls with self-righteous pity2 
but long before she gains her victory   
she will be likely to acknowledge that  
if she were pretty she would love balls 
too4  ,it is not lovely for any girl to 
assume that she is better than her      
parents4 ,many girls are better than    
their parents1 and sometimes so much    
better that they would be blind indeed  

if they did not see it2 but they ought  
to be very slow to act upon such a      
truth4  ,as a general thing they are not
 nearly so superior as they suppose they
 are4 ,they think ,irreverence for the  
dreams of youth always comes from the   
hardening of the heart4 ,but youth has  
some fantastic as well as some noble    
dreams1 so that docility is a better    
quality than independence in a very     
young person4 ,if a worldly minded      
mother inculcates worldliness in her    
daughter1 the daughter certainly ought  
to stand firm against the teaching2 but 
if the daughter merely thinks she would 
rather read ,browning than go to a party
 which her mother wishes her to attend1 
,i think it is best for her to go to the
 party1 even if she is conscious that   
her mother's motive is a worldly one4 ,i
 speak only of young daughters4 ,if a   
girl follows her mother's wishes about  
society till she is twenty-four or five1
 and still retains her first aversion to
 it1 it seems to me she has earned the  

right to be the judge of her own        
actions1 and if she had been really     
docile and sweet-tempered all the way   
through1 ,i believe the most worldly    
minded mother would be ready to yield4  
,it is only when the daughter has       
combated her parents all the time that  
they believe her to be unreasonable and 
obstinate and deserving of coercion4    
,the point is1 that she must make her   
stand for a principle and not for a     
whim4  ,one reason that some girls fear 
society is that they feel awkward and   
have nothing to say4 ,this is often the 
case with intellectual girls4 ,they will
 not descend to the silly conversation  
which is more pleasing than it ought to 
be from the pretty girls of their set1  
and they know it would be out of place  
to talk of anything which really        
interests them4 ,they do not want to be 
called blue-stockings even by young men 
they despise4 ,but the agonies such     
girls suffer in society are unnecessary4
 ,there is no reason why any girl should

 talk very much4 ,of course if she is   
not a beauty or a graceful dancer she   
has no other way of attracting          
attention1 but it is not necessary to   
attract attention4 ,if she is quiet and 
unobtrusive and sweet-tempered she need 
not suffer from mortification even if   
she does not find much to enjoy4 ,i     
remember a young girl whose great       
shyness made it a terror to her to meet 
any strangers4 ,besides this1 she felt  
so little interest in commonplace people
 that she had no sufficient motive to   
subdue her fear4 ,at last as she was on 
the point of refusing to go to a very   
small and informal tea party a friend   
not much older than herself talked      
seriously to her1 explaining that her   
course would seem morbid and selfish to 
others1 and might be so in truth4 ,the  
young girl respected her friend1 and    
making a heroic effort to control       
herself determined to accept the        
invitation4 ,i am going1 she said to    
herself1 to show ,ellen that ,i am not  

too obstinate to take her advice1 and ,i
 don't care how ,i appear4 ,so she sat  
still in a corner and listened to the   
conversation1 which was indeed          
preternaturally stupid4 ,she felt       
perfectly at her ease and was quite     
unconcerned about making conversation4  
,if anybody asked her a question she    
answered simply without cudgeling her   
brains for any wise or witty reply4 ,by 
and by something was said which did     
attract her notice1 and she actually    
made a spontaneous remark herself4 ,she 
realized then that the worst was over4  
,she never again felt such terror on    
entering a room1 and though ,i never    
heard that she shone in society1 she was
 always able after that to carry on her 
share of a conversation without anxiety4
 ,she simply laid herself aside for the 
time being and paid attention to what   
was going on4  ,but while it is usually 
best for a young girl to go into society
 which lies naturally in her way1 it is 
a very different thing to push into     

society which lies outside of her path4 
,it is necessary to speak strongly on   
this point4 ,in every city the number of
 inhabitants who have lived in it since 
its foundation is1 of course1 very      
small1 and they always form an          
aristocracy1 jealous of interlopers4    
,they generally are a law-abiding1      
conservative class1 with some sterling  
qualities4 ,they are superior to a great
 many people who would like to associate
 with them1 but inferior to a great many
 others4 ,now1 just at the circumference
 of this circle there is another circle 
equally good1 intelligent1 and refined1 
who see no reason why they should be    
shut out from the inner circle4 ,there  
is no reason except that they did not   
first occupy the central ground4 ,the   
aristocracy of the city is formed on the
 principle of first come1 first served1 
and the first will never relinquish     
their places to the new-comers4 ,why    
should the new-comers care8 ,there are  
enough among them to make a society as  

good1 intelligent1 and refined as that  
from which they are shut out4           
,nevertheless1 it is a human failing to 
prize what we cannot have1 and some of  
the later comers look wistfully across  
the dividing line4 ,they cannot cross   
it1 but sometimes their daughters can4  
,they send their daughters to the same  
schools with the daughters of the four  
hundred1 and the girls make friends with
 each other1 and with a little skill the
 password may be learned and the young  
plebeian may find herself               
indistinguishable from a patrician4     
,there are fathers and mothers who urge 
their daughters to make haste to occupy 
every coigne of vantage1 and gradually  
advance into the heart of the enemy's   
country4 ,i am not speaking now of those
 who are so vulgar as to intrigue for   
invitations1 but simply of the ambitious
 who wish to accept an invitation given 
in good faith because it is a step      
upward in the social scale4 ,of course  
,i would not say that such an invitation

 should never be accepted1 for there is 
often congeniality between the hostess  
and her guest2 but it is not worth doing
 violence to one's feelings for the sake
 of accepting it4 ,we say that we do not
 consider the four hundred really       
superior to many other hundreds in the  
city4 ,in that case let us treat them   
and their invitations with exactly the  
same courtesy and exactly the same      
indifference that we show to our other  
friends and their invitations4 ,i think 
a young girl is always justified in     
objecting to be pushed into society even
 when her parents are eager to push her2
 yet if the matter is urged1 it will    
probably be best for her to gratify her 
parents1 even at the sacrifice of her   
own sensitiveness4 ,it is not for her to
 judge her parents4 ,even if they are   
wrong1 their fault may be like the      
vanity of a child1 because they are     
still in the childish stage of          
education1 while the daughter's higher  
development is entirely due to their    

efforts in her behalf4  ,there are girls
 whose religious convictions forbid     
society1 and then they are obliged to   
withstand their parents from the outset2
 yet ,i think such convictions are      
uncommon where the parents do not share 
them4 ,but there are other girls who    
sincerely believe that their time can be
 better spent than in going to parties  
and making calls4 ,the conventions of   
society seem meaningless to them1 and   
they know if they observe them all they 
will have no time or strength for       
anything else1 while if they do not     
observe them they will be stigmatized as
 rude1 odd1 and even as self-conceited4 
,one cannot read even the most sensible 
book on etiquette without being         
oppressed with the feeling that a       
terrible addition has been made to the  
moral law in the by-laws which treat of 
visiting cards1 and every writer on     
etiquette says mildly but firmly that   
there is a reason for all the rules in  
the very nature of things1 and that if  

any of us venture to disregard them and 
substitute our own reason1 we simply    
show our incapacity for appreciating    
real refinement4 ,a part of this is no  
doubt true4 ,the rules of society are   
reasonable for those who give their     
whole time to society4 ,when a lady has 
four hundred people on her visiting     
list1 and a call must be made on each   
one every winter on pain of losing the  
acquaintance altogether1 to say nothing 
of party calls and receptions and       
afternoon teas1 it is clear that a      
language of pasteboard simplifies her   
duties very much4 ,but for any one who  
has a definite work in life outside of  
society1 attention to all these minor   
points is impossible1 and we must either
 be shut out of society altogether or be
 allowed to enter it on our own terms4  
,the women who have their living to earn
 have the matter decided for them4 ,even
 in the few cases where they are        
welcomed among the elite1 their work    
must always take precedence of society  

demands4 ,and the same thing ought to be
 true in the case of good mothers4 ,the 
care of one's own children never ought  
to be given up for any conventional     
duty4 ,but the hardest case is that of  
young girls who wish their lives to be  
in earnest1 and who have as yet no      
imperative duties4 ,no wonder they wish 
to make duties for themselves4 ,is there
 any guide in deciding how far they are 
bound to follow conventions8 ,i know    
nothing better than the dictum of the   
,hegelians4 ,make your deed universal1  
and see what the result will be4 ,if    
everybody who finds afternoon teas a    
burden stayed away from them1 would any 
harm be done8 ,if everybody who objects 
to making calls refused to make them1   
would it not soon simplify life even for
 those who do like to make them8 ,if all
 people who chanced to meet felt at     
liberty to be as friendly as they felt  
like being1 without any formal          
preliminaries1 who would be injured8    
,the question of absolute right is      

answered when these questions are       
answered1 and we ought not to let any   
writer on etiquette persuade us to the  
contrary4 ,but it is not so easy to say 
how far it is wise for anybody1         
particularly for young girls1 to set    
themselves against the customs of their 
own circle4 ,they then give up the      
friends they would naturally make1 and  
it is sometimes hard to find equally    
congenial friends in other circles4     
,many a girl who might have been happily
 married if she had not rebelled against
 conventionalities is left to lead a    
lonely life2 and that not because young 
men value conventionalities1 but because
 society makes people acquainted4 ,she  
will some day be likely to regret that  
she missed her opportunities1 unless she
 had some more definite reason for her  
course than the mere shrinking from the 
effort society requires4  ,duties we    
make for ourselves are seldom entirely  
free from affectation4 ,an ardent1      
active girl may easily become so        

interested in her charities and her     
studies that she may make a genuine plea
 that she is too busy for parties and   
calls2 but perhaps she ought not to give
 up society duties until higher duties  
actually open before her4 ,is it not    
possible that society has some intrinsic
 worth1 or that at all events it might  
have worth1 if earnest people did their 
part8 ,there is much to be done for the 
poor1 but the poor are not the only ones
 to be helped4 ,sweetness of temper and 
honorable action tell as much sometimes 
in a game of cards as in an affair of   
state4 ,the highest good anybody can    
ever do is to inspire others with a     
higher ideal1 to raise the level of     
character4 ,the specific act by which   
this is done matters little2 in truth it
 is usually the result not of an act1   
but of a noble character influencing    
others unconsciously4 ,one might give   
all her goods to feed the poor and not  
leave the world any better than she     
found it4 ,on the other hand1 ,i know a 

frank1 light-hearted girl1 whose whole  
mind seems to be absorbed in choosing   
the prettiest dresses she can find for  
her approaching debut1 who is sure to be
 a factor in elevating every company she
 enters1 because of her scorn of any    
form of meanness4 ,she would not trouble
 herself to say anything bitter if one  
of her acquaintances did a mean thing2  
but the amazed tone in which she would  
utter the word ,fancy6 would inflict a  
punishment no culprit could escape4     
,most of what is called society is no   
doubt poor and weak1 and not worth much 
time or trouble4 ,i think the girls     
whose pathway does not lead directly    
through it are perhaps to be            
congratulated4 ,it is to be hoped that  
most women who reach the age of         
twenty-five will find something better  
to do than to give themselves up        
entirely to society4 ,but though1 as now
 constituted1 its exactions are so heavy
 that it often seems as if it must be   
all or nothing1 it need not inevitably  

be so4 ,society could be so conducted as
 to be a beautiful recreation instead of
 a business1 and those who see this     
clearly can help to bring it about4     
,society ought to give enjoyment in a   
refined way4 ,beautiful houses1         
beautiful dresses1 music1 cultivated    
voices in conversation1 delicate wit1   
smiling faces1 graceful dancing1 all    
these things would make up an attractive
 picture to most of us if we could      
forget ourselves1 and not feel that our 
shadow was the most prominent part of   
it4 ,it could not take the place of our 
serious daily life1 but it ought to     
supplement it4  ,the ,french writer     
,amiel has given the most beautiful     
description of ideal society1 and ,i    
will quote it here4 ,it would1 ,i think1
 be a good plan for every girl who      
wishes to give up society to consider   
this picture well4 ,if society were     
always like this1 would you wish to give
 it up8 ,if it is not like this1 may it 
not be possible for you to help to make 

it so8 ,is there any better work laid   
ready to your hand8 ,if so1 do it1 by   
all means4 ,if not1 is not this well    
worth doing8   ,it is thus that ,amiel  
describes a small evening party3 ,thirty
 people of the best society1 a happy    
mingling of sexes and ages4 ,gray heads1
 young people1 spirituelle faces4 ,all  
framed in tapestries of ,aubusson which 
gave a soft distance and a charming     
background to the groups in full        
dress4444 ,in the world it is necessary 
to have the appearance of living on     
ambrosia and of being acquainted with   
only noble cares4 ,anxiety1 want1       
passion do not exist4 ,all realism is   
suppressed as brutal4 ,in a word1 what  
is called le grand monde presents for   
the moment a flattering illusion1 that  
of being in an ethereal state and of    
breathing the life of mythology4 ,that  
is the reason that all vehemence1 every 
cry of nature1 all true suffering1 all  
careless familiarity1 all open marks of 
passion1 shock and jar in this delicate 

milieu1 and destroy in a moment the     
whole fabric1 the palace of clouds1 the 
magic architecture raised by the consent
 of all4  ,it is like the harsh         
cock-crow which causes all enchantment  
to vanish and puts the fairies to       
flight4 ,these choice reunions act      
unconsciously towards a concert of eye  
and ear1 towards an improvised work of  
art4 ,this instinctive accord is a      
festival for the mind and taste1 and    
transports the actors into the sphere of
 the imagination4 ,it is a form of      
poetry1 and it is thus that cultivated  
society renews by reflection the idyl   
which has disappeared4444  ,paradoxical 
or not1 ,i believe that these fleeting  
attempts to reconstruct a dream which   
pursues beauty alone are confused       
recollections of the age of gold which  
haunts the human soul1 or rather of     
aspirations towards the harmony of      
things which daily reality refuses to   
us1 and to which we are introduced only 
by art4     ,,xv4  ,,narrow ,,lives4    

,what is a narrow life8 ,its causes     
almost always lie in character4 ,one    
either has a narrow nature1 or is       
subject to some tyrant who has a narrow 
nature4 ,in such cases there is little  
hope of remedy4  ,but in general        
circumstances are not responsible for a 
narrow life4 ,illness and poverty indeed
 are hard to resist1 nevertheless ,i    
hope to show by actual examples that    
broad lives are lived by the sick and   
poor4  ,once at the wish of a friend ,i 
was visiting ,i went to carry some      
comforts to a neglected almshouse on a  
,western prairie4 ,in the insane ward ,i
 found a poor young fellow suffering    
from epilepsy4 ,there had been some     
brutal treatment in the almshouse and he
 had tried to escape4 ,being overtaken  
he had fought for his liberty1 and in   
consequence he was afterwards fastened  
with a chain and ball of many pounds'   
weight4 ,he could not be cared for      
elsewhere1 as his family was very poor1 
and though usually perfectly sane he had

 dangerous intervals4 ,the management of
 the almshouse was culpably bad1 and    
though about this time benevolent       
persons began to bestir themselves1 and 
there was some amelioration of          
conditions1 yet this young man was      
certainly placed in as narrowing        
circumstances as could surround a human 
being4 ,he was poor to the degree of    
pauperism1 he had an incurable disease  
and he was almost absolutely in the     
power of tyrants4 ,remembering that my  
friend wished to lend some books to     
those of the poor creatures who could   
read1 ,i asked him if he liked to read4 
,he said yes1 that he was very fond of  
reading1 but could not get any books4 ,i
 asked him what kind of books he would  
like4 ,well1 he said slowly1 ,i should  
be glad of anything2 but ,i think ,i    
should like best stories or biographies 
which would tell me how people who were 
put in hard places met their lives4     
,for1 he added pathetically1 ,i want to 
make the most ,i can of my life4 ,i felt

 as he spoke that these were the most   
heroic words ,i had ever heard or that  
,i ever should hear4 ,i left the town in
 a few days1 and my friend at the same  
time changed her residence1 so ,i have  
never known his fate4 ,but ,i am sure no
 circumstances could make a life        
inspired with such a feeling a narrow   
one4  ,fortunately few people are so    
hemmed in by circumstances4 ,but some of
 us think a single misfortune enough to 
crush us4 ,how1 for instance1 is a woman
 prostrated by disease to make anything 
of the little life within her four      
walls8  ,i remember a woman who broke   
down at school and suffered so          
frequently from violent hemorrhages all 
her life1 which was prolonged till she  
was nearly fifty1 that she was seldom   
able to leave her room4 ,her home was on
 a farm a long distance from the        
village1 so that it at first seemed as  
if she could not have even the ordinary 
alleviation of cheerful society in her  
more comfortable days4 ,another         

aggravation in her case was that she had
 an active temperament and strong mind4 
,she had been fitting herself to be a   
teacher1 and she had just the qualities 
which would have made her an admirable  
teacher1 a clear intellect1 quick       
observation1 firm will1 love of         
children1 and a perfectly serene temper4
 ,she had wished to teach1 partly       
because she thought she should find it  
an inspiring work1 and partly because   
she wished to help the family4 ,she saw 
this was not to be1 that in spite of    
herself she must be a burden on the     
family4 ,she met her altered            
circumstances with the same firm will   
and cheerful temper she had shown from  
childhood4 ,if she must be a burden on  
others she would make that burden as    
light as she could4 ,she would not      
suggest that any one should sit in her  
darkened room all day1 however lonely   
she might be4 ,she would not call upon  
others for the hundred little services  
not absolutely necessary1 but still so  

very agreeable to one who is weak and   
helpless4 ,on the other hand1 she would 
not exert herself rashly in the vain    
endeavor to wait on herself when such an
 exertion was likely to injure her1 and 
in the end to bring more care on other  
people4 ,she always spoke cheerfully    
even when her voice could not rise above
 a whisper4 ,she was ready to admit the 
sunshine the moment she could bear the  
light4 ,as she lay alone she tried to   
think of some pleasant thing to say or  
do when any one should come in1 and in  
this way she beguiled the tedious hours4
  ,of course she had her reward4 ,no one
 could be unwilling to take care of one 
so unexacting4 ,moreover1 although she  
often unavoidably taxed the strength of 
her friends1 she did so much to make    
them happy that nursing her was a       
pleasant task4 ,her mother and sisters  
wished to be in her room as much as     
possible1 not for her sake1 but for     
their own enjoyment4 ,she never asked   
them to read aloud to her1 for instance1

 but she was such an appreciative       
listener that they could never be quite 
satisfied with reading any interesting  
book to themselves4 ,they enjoyed it    
doubly with her wise and witty comments4
 ,she had a keen sense of humor which it
 has always seemed to me goes a long way
 in broadening any life1--and naturally 
everybody saved the best jokes to relate
 in her room4 ,she was frequently too   
ill to laugh without danger of a        
hemorrhage1 but she soon learned to     
control herself so that she laughed with
 her eyes alone4 ,the girls from the    
village1 instead of feeling it a duty to
 visit her in her sickness1 considered  
it a privilege to be admitted to her    
room4 ,when she was able to sit up they 
would come by twos and threes and bring 
their work and chat until she was tired4
 ,she had the kind of character which   
made gossip impossible with her1 so that
 she always got at the very best her    
visitors had to give1 and the very best 
of even a shallow girl is often worth   

something4 ,her friends1 however1 felt  
it was she who gave to them because of  
her uplifting power4  ,she was sometimes
 able to read and she carried on her    
education systematically1 though        
necessarily with many interruptions4    
,she had a gift for drawing and amused  
herself often in that way1 though1 it   
was always a sorrow to her that she had 
had too little instruction to produce   
anything of value to others4 ,she was   
not altogether shut out from beauty4    
,her room gave her a view of the sunset 
every day1 and she purposely left her   
curtain up for an hour in the evening to
 watch the march of the stars4 ,she had 
the unspotted beauty of the snow in the 
winter1 and of the grass and flowers in 
the summer4 ,sometimes she was even able
 to walk about the dooryard a little and
 gather flowers for herself4 ,she always
 had a few house plants in which she    
took a strong interest1 and which       
accordingly flourished4  ,she was a     
public-spirited woman and was glad to be

 made one of the trustees of the ,public
 ,library4 ,she was one of the most     
efficient members of the board1 though  
she was seldom strong enough to be      
driven as far as the library building4  
,she was determined that her sisters'   
lives should not be trammeled by her    
weakness4 ,the fact that she could not  
go to a place was all the more reason   
why her sisters should go and tell her  
about it4 ,one sister was a teacher who 
at first wished to take the neighboring 
district school rather than a much finer
 position in a distant city simply for  
the sake of being constantly with the   
beloved invalid4 ,but the latter would  
not allow this4 ,i shall never be able  
to go ,west myself1 you know1 she said  
cheerfully1 but if you go and ,i have   
your letters every week1 ,i shall know  
exactly what it is like4 ,and you will  
be so much more entertaining in         
vacations than if you stay at home4  ,by
 the same course of reasoning the sick  
sister persuaded the teacher to go      

abroad to study a year when the         
opportunity came4 ,the photographs you  
bring home will mean a great deal more  
to me than any ,i could buy1 she said4  
,i shall almost feel as if ,i had seen  
the pictures themselves4 ,every letter  
which came from the absent sister did   
inclose some imponderable unmounted     
photograph1 with comments4 ,the sister  
at home1 studying these one by one1     
learned almost more of the meaning of   
the pictures than the one who saw their 
visible beauty4 ,one of my friends says1
 ,there is nothing which so destroys the
 aesthetic sense as to see too many     
beautiful pictures at once4 ,this truth1
 perhaps1 explains why so many people   
see all the great paintings of the world
 and yet have so little appreciation of 
any of them4 ,at all events1 our invalid
 did gain both happiness and spiritual  
insight from the hints of beauty she    
found in these humble little            
photographs4  ,i have before said that  
she was not left without companions4    

,she also had friends in the highest    
sense4 ,having the leisure to make      
friendship a chief business of life she 
was able to be so much to her friends   
that however busy they might be they    
could not afford to neglect her4 ,the   
day of leisurely letter writing seems to
 have passed by4 ,but she had long hours
 by herself when she could write out the
 good and pleasant things she was       
thinking about4 ,her letters were       
lovely1 and strong1 and helpful1 and    
each was written with such exquisite    
penmanship1 with such easy lines of     
beauty1 that it was like a work of art  
in itself4  ,she was not obliged even to
 forego the happiness of love4 ,she had 
a young lover at the time her health    
failed4 ,he would not believe at first  
that there was no cure for her4 ,her    
instinct had been so true that she had  
chosen a perfectly loyal lover whose    
love could not be shaken by misfortune4 
,at last he was himself attacked by a   
terrible disease1 and it was seldom     

possible for the two to meet after that4
 ,but they faced their trouble together4
 ,they said that if the time should ever
 come when they could be married they   
should rejoice2 but if it never came    
they would be all they could to each    
other4 ,sometimes even letters were     
impossible between them1 but their      
perfect reliance upon each other was a  
constant source of strength and         
happiness1 and their rare interviews    
were true radiant points in their lives4
  ,of course no one would think of      
calling this woman's life a narrow one1 
and yet the only reason it was not so   
lay in herself4  ,i know another woman  
whose poverty would seem to many people 
an effectual bar to any breadth of life4
 ,as poverty is a relative term1 ,i will
 state definitely that she receives less
 than three hundred dollars a year for  
teaching a difficult village school1 and
 that the whole support of her frail and
 delicate mother has fallen upon her    
except that the two together own their  

heavily mortgaged little home4 ,a       
servant being out of the question1 she  
rises very early in the morning to do as
 much of the heavier housework as       
possible4 ,her washing1 of course1 has  
to be done on ,saturday4 ,some of us in 
such a case would be content with a low 
standard of cleanliness--but she has an 
ideal1 and her house and herself fairly 
sparkle with neatness4 ,her exquisite   
cooking is a special grace of economy1  
for it makes it possible that a frugal  
table should seem to be richly spread4  
,of course she and her mother must do   
their own sewing1 and they do it so well
 that they always have the air of being 
dressed as ladies1 with great           
simplicity1 to be sure1 but with        
excellent taste4  ,at this point1 ,i    
fancy my readers will make one of two   
comments4 ,they will say1 ,she must have
 an iron constitution1 or ,she must     
spend all her time on material things4  
,she cannot have a moment for books or  
society or travel4  ,now she has not an 

iron constitution4 ,she suffered in her 
youth from a wasting disease1 and her   
physician says she was nearer death than
 any person he ever knew to recover4    
,this disease has left its traces upon  
her4 ,there is hardly a year when she   
does not have to be out of school a week
 or two for illness1 and of course sick 
headaches and trifling ailments of that 
kind have to be met every few days4     
,nor is it true that the daily          
necessities absorb her whole life4      
,obviously1 she cannot be a great       
reader1 or rather it is fortunate she is
 not so1 for if she spent all her little
 leisure over books1 she would miss much
 that is inspiring in her life4 ,but she
 does care for books1 and particularly  
for the best books1 though her school   
education was limited4 ,she reads a tiny
 daily paper and always takes a leading 
magazine4 ,she owns ,shakespeare and    
,scott and ,shelley1 and knows them     
almost by heart4 ,she borrows the best  
of her friends' books1 and occasionally 

buys a cheap classic4 ,she always has   
some volume of biography or travel from 
the ,public ,library1 which she reads   
leisurely with her mother perhaps4 ,it  
may take her a month to read some little
 volume of two or three hundred         
pages--such a volume as ,bradford       
,torrey's ,rambler's ,lease1 or ,dr4    
,emerson's memoir of his father--and    
possibly she may not be able in the end 
to quote any more fluently from these   
books than another who reads them       
through in an afternoon1 although ,i    
think she usually is able1 but her      
advantage is that she thoroughly enjoys 
the flavor of every sentence2 her       
reading stimulates and encourages her   
and makes her happy4  ,she was one of   
the founders of the ,book ,club in the  
village1 and as the ,public ,library    
grew out of that1 there was considerable
 work to be done by some of the members1
 and of this she did much more than her 
share4  ,she is one of the most active  
members also of the ,reading ,club and  

the ,natural ,history ,club1 two        
organizations which combine culture and 
society quite as effectually as the more
 ambitious circles in our cities4 ,her  
house is always hospitably open to      
either of these clubs1 for she loves    
society and wishes to make the most of  
all the intelligent people in the place 
who belong to one or the other of them4 
,her sociability1 however1 carries her  
farther4 ,she knows everybody in the    
town well enough for a bow and smile in 
passing1 and that is no small           
achievement in a modern village where   
the population is so fluctuating4 ,i    
would suggest that we try for a moment  
to recall the difference it makes in the
 cheerfulness of our day whether all the
 people we meet have a pleasant word for
 us or not2 and then1 ,i think1 we shall
 see that her influence is by no means  
slight or worthless4 ,perhaps it is a   
little candle1 but it throws its beams  
far4  ,she likes to go to see her       
friends1 and she faithfully returns the 

semi-formal calls which cannot be       
avoided even in the most unfashionable  
centres4 ,she makes her own callers     
heartily welcome1 and even invites a    
friend or two to tea now and then4 ,she 
is always hospitably ready to entertain 
visitors from a distance1 and           
consequently she often has the pleasant 
variety of going away on a visit        
herself4  ,she likes to go to the public
 entertainments of the village4 ,a      
sewing society1 a ,sunday-school picnic1
 or a fair attracts her4 ,these are     
simple pleasures1 but taken with such a 
spirit as hers1 they are innocent and   
wholesome1 even if they seem barren to  
an outsider4  ,she always does her part 
at all such gatherings4 ,she is ready to
 serve on any committee4 ,she will make 
delicious cake for a ,grand ,army       
supper1 or sell flowers in aid of the   
,village ,improvement ,society4 ,one    
would hardly expect her to have time for
 such duties1 but one of the strong     
points in her character is that she     

never has any inclination to shirk a    
responsibility that belongs to her1 and 
she is generous in her interpretation of
 her responsibilities4 ,it has always   
interested me to see the persistency    
with which she pays the extra fraction  
of a cent when any expense is to be     
divided among several people4 ,she knows
 the full value of a cent1 for she has  
to count the cost of everything2 but she
 evidently takes a brave pride in always
 doing a little more rather than a      
little less than justice requires her to
 do4 ,she has perhaps too great a scorn 
of receiving help from anybody4 ,she    
once acted as a substitute in school for
 a friend who was ill4 ,the obliged     
friend insisted that she should receive 
the ten dollars which would otherwise   
have been paid to herself4 ,but the     
independent young lady instantly took   
the money and invested it all in a      
beautiful piece of lace which she sent  
as a present to the convalescent4 ,i    
know of no one who acts more thoroughly 

on the rule1 ,if you have but sixpence  
to spend1 spend it like a prince1 and   
not like a beggar4  ,she is a true lover
 of nature1 without pretense or cant of 
any kind4 ,she has an eye for           
flowers1--indeed her little garden is   
the delight of the neighborhood1--and   
she finds harebells on ,thanksgiving    
,day and ferns in midwinter4 ,she knows 
the minerals in the stone-walls1 and    
likes to trace the course of old        
glaciers across the farms beyond the    
village4 ,and she likes1 too1 to stroll 
through the woods1 or to float in her   
dory on the river1 without a thought of 
mineralogy or botany while she softly   
repeats poetry for which she has a real 
love4  ,of course she has not a large   
margin of income for luxuries1 but she  
does take a journey now and then1 and   
she enjoys her journeys with a zest     
which would surprise many travelers4    
,she has not much money to give away2   
and yet she often adds a modest         
contribution to a subscription paper for

 some unfortunate neighbor4 ,and she has
 lent her boat a hundred times to people
 who otherwise could not have one to    
use4 ,more than that1 she will go       
herself and row for some child or old   
person who cannot manage the oars1 but  
who stands on the bank and looks        
wishfully at the river4 ,i have never   
known anybody who owned a carriage to   
give half so much pleasure to other     
people with it1 as she gives with her   
boat4 ,she is always ready to lend a    
hand4 ,she has watched with a great many
 sick people1 for instance4 ,most of her
 kindnesses are unobtrusive1 and she    
forgets them the next day1 but they make
 a definite addition to the comfort and 
happiness of the world4  ,i always like 
to have ,miss ,amidon come in to spend  
the evening1 said a nervous1 critical1  
intellectual man1 most of whose life had
 been passed among far more pretentious 
people in large cities1 there is such a 
sunny atmosphere about her4  ,where does
 ,miss ,amidon get the strength to do so

 many good things8 ,she is not a common 
woman of course1 and yet there is       
nothing striking about her4 ,she does   
nothing great4 ,i have no reason to     
suppose that her teaching even is above 
the average4 ,i think the rare quality  
in her character1 however1 is that she  
spends the little strength and money she
 has on essentials1 and so there is     
always something to show for them4   ,i 
once had a friend who was told by       
several physicians that she had an      
incurable disease4 ,her own home was    
gone1 and she did not wish to be        
dependent upon others4 ,she had been a  
teacher1 and she resolved to go on      
teaching4 ,there would be months at a   
time when she would be obliged to rest1 
but then1 with unfailing courage1 she   
went back to her work4 ,once1 when she  
was only able to sit up a few hours in  
the day1 she took a position in a       
boarding-school1 where her board was but
 a trifle1 and was given to her for her 
instruction of one or two small classes 

which could recite in her room where she
 was propped up in an easy-chair4  ,she 
had a religious nature1 and thought     
calmly of death1 while she felt that in 
this world her plain duty was to make   
the most of her life4 ,she bore her     
suffering without complaint1 did not    
allow herself to be anxious1 took all   
measures she could to alleviate her pain
 and to improve her health1 and was then
 free to enjoy the few pleasures still  
within her reach4 ,as a result1 she grew
 better1 and for half a dozen years was 
able to support herself well by teaching
 in a difficult school4 ,in order to do 
this1 however1 she had to live within   
very narrow lines4 ,her disease was of  
such a nature1 that her diet had to be  
confined almost entirely to one article4
 ,this made it seem best for her to live
 in a hotel where she could have little 
home life4 ,and such a diet at times    
became almost nauseating4 ,it was       
necessary for her to save all her       
strength for her daily work1 so she had 

to put aside even the few pleasures     
otherwise within her reach4 ,what made  
this the harder was that she had never  
taught from love of the work1 though her
 fine intelligence and conscientiousness
 made her an excellent teacher4  ,first1
 ,i have to consider my health1 she     
said4 ,then ,i must think of my work4   
,and that does not leave much room for  
other things4  ,but for her determined  
and heroic observance of the laws of    
health1 her life must have been a wreck4
 ,her strong good sense not only saved  
her from being a burden to others1 but  
enabled her to do a really valuable work
 for her scholars1 which ,i have seldom 
known any one capable of doing so well4 
,and all her friends were strengthened  
by the spectacle of her cheerful        
courage4 ,the few years she won for     
herself by her steadfast struggle would 
have been well worth living1 even if she
 had had no alleviations of her lot4    
,but she gladly took such little        
pleasures as were in her pathway4 ,she  

chose a pleasant room in the hotel with 
a wide outlook over the sea4 ,she spent 
some happy hours with her favorite      
,german books1 and in a quiet1 friendly 
way she made the acquaintance of any    
congenial people who came to the hotel4 
,all this was not very much1 perhaps1   
but yet it seems fine to me4 ,so many of
 us would have spent our strength in    
mourning our hard fate6 ,i am sure that 
all of us who had the privilege of      
knowing her must always think of her    
with reverence4   ,i know a woman whose 
deafness shuts her out from ordinary    
conversation1 and who is nevertheless   
such an interesting talker and such an  
appreciative listener that her friends  
do not find it a task to spend hours in 
talking through her ear-trumpet4 ,of    
course each friend brings only his best 
to her ears4 ,the very circumstance     
which would have narrowed her life if   
her nature had been narrow1 has simply  
shut off much that is low from her and  
left full room for the expansion of all 

that is high4  ,i knew two women on whom
 blindness fell in middle life4 ,one    
with morbid grief stayed always in her  
own room4 ,she became totally dependent 
on others and wore away her years in    
sorrow4 ,the other gave up the luxurious
 rooms she occupied in a hotel1 took a  
lodging-house1 which she was able       
largely to manage herself1 made it a    
delightful home for every inmate1 and   
kept herself usefully busy and happy4   
,each of these women had an only sister 
entirely devoted to her4 ,one of them   
narrowed and the other broadened her    
sister's life4  ,i am almost tempted to 
say there are no narrow lives except for
 narrow natures4 ,but there are many    
timid and loving women who are forced to
 lead restricted lives by domestic      
tyrants1--a despotic father or husband1 
or even sometimes an imperious mother or
 sister1--and who yet under other       
circumstances might expand like a       
flower4 ,the only help for such women is
 in cultivating courage4 ,and it is     

necessary to remember that the          
self-sacrifice which helps others to be 
their best is good1 while that which    
suffers them to be tyrants is bad4      
,,xvi4  ,,conclusion3 ,a ,,miscellaneous
 ,,chapter4   ,in these pages ,i have   
not catalogued the virtues which make up
 the character of a fine woman1 but ,i  
think ,i have made it clear that every  
woman should be truthful and loving1    
courageous and modest4 ,no two women are
 alike1 and sometimes one virtue        
dominates and sometimes another4 ,and we
 must always be on our guard against the
 faults of our qualities4 ,a gentle     
woman is in danger of being cowardly1   
and a firm woman of being obstinate4    
,there is one danger which seems to be  
peculiarly powerful with women2 that of 
sacrificing too much to the people      
nearest them4 ,a woman knows positively 
that more is required of her than it is 
fair she should give1 and yet she gives 
it1 and in most cases she feels a       
certain satisfaction of conscience in   

giving it4 ,her renunciation comes      
partly because she loves those for whom 
she makes the sacrifice1 but partly also
 from cowardice4 ,so far as it is simple
 renunciation1 ,i have not much to say4 
,if ,jane ,welsh had not sacrificed     
herself to ,carlyle's unreasonable      
demands1 it is certain that she might   
have contributed something of permanent 
value to literature1 and if ,carlyle's  
colossal egotism had thus been pruned1  
his own contribution probably would have
 been of higher quality2 but as the     
question of sacrifice came up day by    
day1 she could hardly measure results1  
and she did feel the necessity of       
struggling with her own selfishness4    
,life is so much more than literature   
that ,i cannot help thinking she did    
right1 though ,carlyle did wrong in     
allowing her to efface herself for him4 
,but most women go farther than this4   
,they allow themselves to be blinded by 
their wish to please those nearest them4
 ,they wish it were right to yield one  

point after another1 and they finally do
 yield and hope they are not doing      
wrong1 though if they did not firmly    
shut their eyes1 they must see that they
 are4 ,i think this is even more fatal  
to a noble character than deliberately  
to choose the wrong1 because it confuses
 moral distinctions and makes one weak  
as well as wicked4 ,i suppose more good 
women have failed in this way than in   
any other4  ,english novelists describe 
,american girls as exquisitely          
beautiful1 stylish1 quick-witted1       
energetic1 and good-tempered1 while the 
mothers are portrayed as awkward1 dowdy1
 stupid1 and ill-educated1 though honest
 and kind4 ,we resent the distortion of 
this picture1 for in ,america1 as       
elsewhere1 girls are largely what they  
are made by their mothers1 yet we do    
have certain conditions which make sharp
 contrasts between mothers and daughters
 more common here than elsewhere4  ,this
 is especially so in the present        
generation1 for the last fifty years    

have been a transition period in woman's
 education4 ,before that1 there were no 
good schools for girls in ,america1     
though the country academies did what   
they could2 and in a few of the large   
cities there was a small class of       
wealthy people who had private teachers 
for their girls in music1 ,french1      
dancing1 and perhaps literature4  ,then 
came the establishment of high-class    
boarding schools for girls1 so endowed  
that they were within the reach of      
people of moderate means4 ,the eager1   
ambitious1 half-educated mothers sent   
their bright daughters to these schools4
 ,the best class of girls from the      
country towns everywhere now met each   
other1 and mingled1 too1 with many girls
 who had had the opportunities of city  
life4 ,the teachers in these schools    
were women of high character and real   
refinement1 and though they were not all
 accustomed to the usages of society1   
there were always some among them who   
were so1 and who gave a certain finish  

to the solid work of the others4 ,the   
advantages of these boarding-school     
girls were so far beyond those of the   
previous generation that the line       
between mothers and daughters became    
abnormally broad4 ,the son had          
advantages at college which his father  
had not1 but after all1 he went to the  
same college1 and the progress was      
natural4  ,then the high schools were   
opened to girls1 and thousands were able
 to get a fair education whose mothers  
had had no opportunities whatever4 ,and 
then about thirty years ago1 colleges   
for women sprang up1 and the young women
 of our day have the same advantages as 
the young men4  ,mothers must always1 of
 course1 expect to be outstripped in    
some directions by their daughters4     
,indeed1 they wish to have it so1 for   
they wish to have their daughters stand 
on as high ground as possible2 but when 
the process goes on as rapidly as it has
 done through the wonderful opening of  
the means of education in the last half 

century1 it has a painful side4         
,especially is it so in this country1   
where there is such a spirit of equality
 that in spite of all the barriers of   
caste1 the daughter of a wholly         
unrefined mother may occupy a high      
position4 ,in ,england a clever daughter
 may have a stupid mother1 but a refined
 daughter is not very likely to have a  
mother who is outwardly coarse1 because 
class lines have been drawn so          
distinctly for many generations that    
mother and daughter have essentially the
 same kind of education and see         
essentially the same kind of people4 ,in
 ,america this is the exception instead 
of the rule1 though now that the highest
 education is open to all women1 the    
chances are that the contrasts will be  
less sharp in future4  ,but at present  
the gulf between mother and daughter is 
often so wide that it requires more than
 tact to bridge it4 ,a sense of duty    
will keep a daughter outwardly kind and 
respectful to her mother1 but love is   

the mother's only real security2 and a  
mother must be thoroughly good at heart 
and refined in feeling to hold the warm 
love of a daughter whose intellectual   
tastes and social standards she outrages
 every moment4 ,on the other hand1 if   
the daughter's education has not taught 
her that character is more than         
intellect1 it is worse than useless4    
,intellect separates1 said ,dr4 ,james  
,freeman ,clarke1 but love unites4 ,here
 lies the key to this problem4   ,i have
 said little of marriage1 for the       
subject is difficult4 ,a thoroughly     
high-minded woman will not be likely to 
marry unworthily1 and she may be trusted
 to meet the problems that rise after   
marriage in a worthy manner4 ,the       
special difficulties in each pathway    
will depend on temperament and          
circumstances1 and no general rules can 
be laid down for meeting them4  ,i hold 
to the old-fashioned doctrine that a    
true marriage opens the way to the best 
and happiest life for both men and      

women4 ,anything less than a true       
marriage is intolerable and debasing4   
,but girls can hardly choose whether    
they will be married or not4 ,they can  
say ,no to all offers1 and some women do
 plan for opportunities to say ,yes1 yet
 most of us feel that there are few     
circumstances in which a girl of noble  
instincts could take the initiative4    
,can parents do anything8 ,certainly not
 in the way of trying to win a          
particular lover2 but they may so       
educate their daughter as to make her   
attractive to such a man as they would  
wish her to marry1 provided that such an
 education does not sacrifice higher    
interests2 and then they may give her   
the opportunity to see as many such men 
as possible in her own home1 and in     
other places where the standards are as 
high as in her own home4  ,what are the 
qualities which most attract men8 ,it is
 hard to say1 because many of the women 
most loved in their own families and by 
other women are not interesting to even 

the best of men4 ,probably              
warm-heartedness and sweetness of       
character stand first in the list1 and  
these are qualities worth cultivating   
for themselves4 ,vitality and high      
spirits count for much1 also4 ,beauty ,i
 think comes next1 even with men who do 
not care for mere beauty4 ,i do not     
think we should be indignant at this4   
,but can beauty be cultivated8 ,good    
health does something for the           
complexion4 ,care of the teeth adds     
another point of beauty4 ,even rough    
hair may be made beautiful by constant  
brushing4 ,a good carriage and a gentle 
voice are points of beauty that depend  
partly on ourselves4 ,taste may be used 
in dress without sacrificing simplicity4
 ,scrupulous cleanliness adds a charm of
 its own4 ,all these attractions may be 
cultivated without nourishing the       
noxious weed of vanity1 which many      
mothers dread so much4 ,and is it not   
natural that a man who can appreciate a 
good and intelligent woman should find  

her still more winning if she has a     
sweet1 fresh face and a trim dress8     
,next we must place domestic tastes4 ,of
 course a cook and seamstress and       
housekeeper can be hired1 and it is     
quite true that the home instinct is not
 the highest in the universe2 but it is 
a fine one1 nevertheless1 and at all    
events it does influence most men in    
marriage4  ,intelligent men like        
intelligent wives1 and value a certain  
brightness of mind2 but it must be      
admitted that few men care to marry     
intellectual women unless such women    
have the tact to keep their gifts       
somewhat in the background4 7,i may here
 say1--it is not worth more than a      
parenthesis--that the infallible rule   
for securing some kind of a husband is  
to be able to flatter a man1 either by a
 real or pretended interest in him1 or a
 real or pretended admiration of his    
powers4 ,but ,i hope ,i have no reader  
who would wish for marriage on such     
terms1 so ,i will not catalogue any     

attractions which ought not to win47    
,you remember how ,charles ,lamb speaks 
of his ,cousin ,bridget's knowledge of  
,english literature4 ,if ,i had twenty  
girls1 they should all be educated in   
exactly the same way4 ,their chances of 
marriage might not be increased by it1  
but if worst came to worst1 it would    
make them most incomparable old maids4  
,if a woman is not married in the end1  
the wider and deeper her education goes1
 the happier and more useful she is2 and
 yet can we deny that a very wide       
education is likely to repel rather than
 attract even highly educated men8  ,my 
own solution of the difficulty would be 
to give a girl the best education within
 reach1 but to lay such stress on       
warm-heartedness and sweet temper that  
her intellectual attainments would not  
stand out prominently and concentrate   
all attention on them4 ,i should do     
this1 not chiefly as a matter of policy1
 but because it seems to me the only way
 to preserve the true balance between   

emotion and thought essential to an     
ideal character4  ,it may be said that  
all the qualities ,i have discussed are 
rather superficial1 and that it is only 
when two people have high aims in common
 that they are capable of the best kind 
of love on which alone a true marriage  
can be based4 ,and that is right4 ,all  
education ought to tend to make a girl  
noble1 and no motive of marriage ought  
to be held up before her4 ,but ,i cannot
 think it is idle for her parents and   
friends to try to make her attractive as
 well as good1 and ,i cannot think a man
 is to be blamed who chooses between two
 high-minded women the one who has      
graces as well as gifts4  ,another      
subject which it may be thought ought   
not to be left untouched in any volume  
dealing with women is that of the       
suffrage4 ,i must frankly own that      
though ,i have thought much upon this   
subject ,i have not been able to come to
 positive conclusions about it4 ,i am   
glad for all the freedom women have     

gained4 ,i wish to see them entirely    
free4 ,i think a woman needs to be free 
in order to reach the highest nobility2 
but it is inward freedom which we most  
need1 and that is independent of        
circumstances4 ,epictetus1 a slave1 won 
as complete inward freedom as ,marcus   
,aurelius1 an emperor4  ,i see so many  
arguments on both sides of the question 
that ,i am always vacillating between   
them1 and it would therefore be         
impossible for me to treat the matter   
here4 ,all ,i can say is1 that the      
longer ,i live the more ,i am convinced 
that it is personal character which most
 helps the world forward1 and ,i think  
our hearty allegiance to the truth which
 we clearly see will in the end teach us
 new truth4   ,i began this little book 
in the hope of saying some helpful words
 to girls4 ,i have found it necessary to
 think of them as having grown into     
women4 ,i cannot take leave of them     
without fancying them as they will be in
 old age4  ,charles ,dudley ,warner once

 visited the ,mary ,institute at ,st4   
,louis4 ,he was asked to make a speech1 
and after glancing at the five hundred  
beautiful young girls before him1 he    
turned to the fine faces of the         
teachers1 many of whom were gray-haired1
 and said3--  ,it is a beautiful thing  
to be a charming young lady2 and the    
best of it is that you will sometime    
have a chance to be a charming old lady6
  ,all old ladies are not charming1 but 
a great many of them are2 and would not 
all of us be so if we could follow the  
prescriptions ,i have given so liberally
 for the conduct of life all the way    
through8 ,suppose we were all           
sweet-tempered and warm-hearted and     
truthful1 and as neat and pretty as we  
could be1 and bright and intelligent and
 modest and helpful--do you not think we
 should be charming even if our eyes    
were dim and our ears dull1 and we      
walked with a cane8  ,nevertheless1     
there is one practical rule that old    
people must never forget4 ,they must    

keep growing as long as they live4 ,your
 temper must be sweeter at forty than it
 was at twenty1 and sweeter at sixty    
than at forty1 if it is to seem sweet at
 all when your bright eyes and red lips 
are gone4 ,we can pardon a sharp word   
from an inexperienced young girl1 who   
speaks hastily without reflection1 but  
we cannot pardon it so easily from a    
woman who has had a lifetime to reflect4
  ,if you would keep fresh in body1 you 
must not pay too much attention to      
rheumatic twinges1 and sit still in a   
corner because you are too stiff to     
rise4 ,take your painful walk1 and you  
will be less stiff when you come back4  
,you will have fresh life from outside1 
and not be a burden to younger lives    
impatient of your chimney corner4  ,one 
of my friends1 who is nearly eighty1 has
 taken a trip to ,kansas this winter1   
and has been delighted with the new life
 she has seen4 ,i need not say that her 
delight makes her delightful to others4 
,you need not suppose1 she writes1 that 

,i am going to settle down and be an old
 lady yet4 ,i am planning a visit to    
,california next year4  ,mrs4 ,horace   
,mann and ,miss ,elizabeth ,peabody were
 both nearly eighty when they went to   
,washington on official                 
business--something in reference to the 
,indian troubles1 ,i believe4 ,i have   
already cited my mother's friend who    
began to study botany at ninety4 ,and   
why not8 ,if the end of knowledge was to
 help us to get our daily bread1 we     
might at last fold our hands2 but if it 
is to open our minds to the glory of the
 universe1 to make us more worthy to be 
the immortal souls we hope we are1 why  
should we not be just as eager to learn 
at ninety as at nine8  ,a sensitive     
woman is sure to have many and many an  
experience in life which will make her  
heart sad and sore2 but ,i think that   
every brave and good woman will also    
feel more and more1 as time goes on1    
that the kingdom of heaven is within    
her4     ,,advertisements               

,the ,riverside ,library for ,young     
,people4          ,a ,series of ,volumes
 devoted to ,history1 ,biography1       
,mechanics1 ,travel1 ,natural ,history1 
and ,adventure4 ,with    ,maps1         
,portraits1 etc41 where needed for      
fuller illustration            of the   
volume4 ,each1 uniform1 strongly bound  
in cloth1 #afmo1 #bjj-bej pages1 #ge    
cents4   #a4 ,the ,war of ,independence4
   ,by ,,john ,,fiske4 ,with ,maps4  #b4
 ,george ,washington3 ,an ,historical   
,biography4   ,by ,,horace ,e4          
,,scudder4 ,with ,portrait and          
,illustrations4  #c4 ,birds through an  
,opera ,glass4   ,by ,,florence ,a4     
,,merriam4 ,illustrated4  #d4 ,up and   
,down the ,brooks4   ,by ,,mary ,e4     
,,bamford4 ,illustrated4  #e4 ,coal and 
the ,coal ,mines4   ,by ,,homer         
,,greene4 ,illustrated4  #f4 ,a ,new    
,england ,girlhood1 ,outlined from      
,memory4   ,by ,,lucy ,,larcom4  #g4    
,java3 ,the ,pearl of the ,east4   ,by  
,,mrs4 ,s4 ,j4 ,,higginson4 ,with a     

,map4  #h4 ,girls and ,women4   ,by ,e4 
,,chester4   7,others in preparation47  
,,messrs4 ,,houghton1 ,,mifflin ,,and   
,,company publish1 under the above      
title1 a series of books designed       
especially for boys and girls who are   
laying the foundation of private        
libraries4 ,the books in this series are
 not ephemeral publications1 to be read 
hastily and quickly forgotten1 both the 
authors and the subjects treated        
indicate that they are books to last4   
,the great subjects of ,history1        
,biography1 ,mechanics1 ,travel1        
,natural ,history1 ,adventure1 and      
kindred themes form the principal       
portion of the library4 ,the authors    
engaged are for the most part writers   
who already have won attention1 but the 
publishers give a hospitable reception  
to all who may have something worth     
saying to the young1 and the power to   
say it in good ,english and in an       
attractive manner4 ,the books in this   
,library are intended particularly for  

young people1 but they will not be      
written in what has been well called the
 ,childese dialect4  ,the books are     
illustrated whenever the subject treated
 needs illustration2 history and travel 
are accompanied by maps2 history and    
biography by portraits2 but the aim is  
to make the accompaniments to the text  
real additions4  ,the publishers hope to
 have the active cooeperation of        
parents1 teachers1 superintendents1 and 
all who are interested in the formation 
of good taste in reading among young    
people4   ,,houghton1 ,,mifflin ,,and   
,,company1  #d ,park ,street1 ,boston2  
#aa ,east #agth ,street1 ,new ,york4    
,critical ,notices4   ,,fiske',s ,war of
 ,independence4  ,john ,fiske's book1   
,the ,war of ,independence1 is a        
miracle4 ,i can never understand why1   
when a perfect literary work is issued1 
all the critics do not clap their hands6
 ,i think it must be because they never 
read the books4 ,this story of the war  
is such a book1 brilliant and effective 

beyond measure4 ,it should be read by   
every voter in the ,united ,states4 ,it 
is a statement that every child can     
comprehend1 but that only a man of      
consummate genius could have            
written4--,,mrs4 ,,caroline ,h4 ,,dall1 
in the ,springfield ,republican4  ,the  
story of the ,revolution1 as ,mr4 ,fiske
 tells it1 is one of surpassing         
interest4 ,his treatment is a marvel of 
clearness and comprehensiveness2        
discarding non-essential details1 he    
selects with a fine historic instinct   
the main currents of history1 traces    
them with the utmost precision1 and     
tells the whole story in a masterly     
fashion4 ,his little volume will be a   
text-book for older quite as much as for
 young readers4--,christian ,union4     
,,scudder',s ,george ,washington4  ,mr4 
,scudder's biography of ,washington is a
 fit companion volume for ,mr4 ,fiske's 
little history4 ,it tells the story of  
the great patriot1 soldier1 and         
statesman with simplicity1 sincerity1   

and completeness4 ,it is not too much to
 say of these books that they ought to  
be put into the hands of every boy and  
girl1 not only because of that which    
they contain1 but because of the        
soundness of their form4--,christian    
,union 7,new ,york74  ,mr4 ,horace ,e4  
,scudder has executed a difficult task  
in a praiseworthy manner4 ,in spite of  
the innumerable lives of the first      
,president1 who shall say anything new  
of his career and paint it in fresh     
colors8 ,mr4 ,scudder has been able to  
do this1 and his book will be welcomed  
by old and young4--,boston ,beacon4     
,,merriam',s ,birds through an ,opera   
,glass4  ,a capital text-book of the    
right sort for young observers of       
,natural ,history4 ,by text-book we do  
not mean a formal school-book1 but a    
book with a clear method1 a capital     
style1 and adequate information4 ,this  
little volume describes all the birds to
 be found in our fields and woods2      
describes them1 not as an ornithological

 treatise1 but as a keen-eyed and       
thoroughly interesting observer would   
describe them4 ,such a volume ought to  
be the companion of every intelligent   
boy and girl during the                 
summer4--,christian ,union 7,new ,york74
  ,the book is deserving of praise for  
its eminently practical nature4 ,the    
hints to observers with which it opens1 
the appendix giving the classification  
of birds by general family              
characteristics1 by localities1 by      
colors1 by song1 the books of reference1
 and the index1 all combine to make the 
book extremely useful4--,the ,academy   
7,syracuse74  ,,greene',s ,coal and the 
,coal ,mines4  ,in the vehicle of the   
author's terse1 vigorous language1 the  
reader is then taken down into the      
subterranean passages1 where he is      
almost made to see the operations of    
mining the fuel1 so vividly and         
picturesquely is the information        
conveyed4 ,interesting and valuable     
statistics are quoted1 amusing incidents

 are related1 entertaining descriptions 
and wise suggestions are given and made1
 and1 taken altogether1 though dealing  
largely with what is essentially dry in 
its nature1 the book makes good reading 
for the old as well as the young4--,the 
,american 7,philadelphia74  ,all kinds  
of science and scientific information   
is1 at this day1 brought down from its  
high points to the lower and more even  
ground of the young student's           
understanding4 ,this book is a good     
example of that truth4 ,the exhaustive  
theme of coal and coal mining is made so
 concise and simple that a child can    
thoroughly comprehend it4 ,the author   
covers the ground of study in a simple  
and interesting way1 and furnishes      
illustrations to make the words         
clearer4--,new ,york ,school ,journal4  
,,miss ,,bamford',s ,up and ,down the   
,brooks4  ,this is a book which it is a 
pleasure to read and a duty to praise4  
,miss ,bamford tells us of her rambles  
by the ,california brookside1 and her   

acquaintances made there2 of their      
habits1 their transformations1 death and
 burial1 or happier release after a     
period of observation by the captor4444 
,on the whole1 we do not know among     
recent books any more likely to give    
pleasure to the nature-loving boy or    
girl1 or more calculated to stimulate   
the taste for healthy recreation and    
good reading4--,the ,nation 7,new       
,york74  ,a charming book1 full of most 
fascinating details in the lives of     
little-known insects1 and opening a rich
 field of study and interest1 accessible
 to every country child4 ,it cannot be  
too highly recommended to parents4 ,the 
author has sought out her own subjects1 
and studied for herself1 and her results
 are delightful4444 ,we would put the   
book into the hands of every girl and   
boy4--,epoch 7,new ,york74   ,,miss     
,,larcom',s ,recollections of ,girlhood4
  ,its unaffected1 sincere1 pungent     
style is refreshing indeed after the    
introspection1 the smirking             

self-consciousness1 the willful         
mannerisms1 which make of so many       
autobiographies little more than a pose 
before a mirror4 ,more than all1 as a   
vivid1 tenderly sympathetic yet         
uncompromisingly truthful picture of    
phases of ,new ,england life1 in home   
and at work1 which have now practically 
ceased to be1 the book has a permanent1 
one may say an historical               
value4--,boston ,advertiser4  ,the story
 is one that will aid other girls to    
make the most of their opportunities1   
and help them in understanding the real 
value of life4 ,it is a book that every 
girl will be better for having          
read4--,boston ,herald4   ,,houghton1   
,,mifflin  ,,company1  #d ,,park ,,st41 
,,boston2 #aa ,,east #ag,,th ,,st41     
,,new ,,york4