---------------------------------------- ---------------------- ,transcriber's ,note3 ,the original title page verso was as below4 ,extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the copyright on this publication was renewed4 ---------------------------------------- ---------------------- ,,herein ,,is ,,love by ,,reuel ,l4 ,,howe about this book ,god created man to live in relation with the world of things1 with himself1 and with his fellow men1 and to live in these relationships in such a way that he will 444 grow in his relationship with ,god1 writes ,dr4 ,howe in this meaningful book4 ,he describes the true significance of ,christian fellowship and how it can come about and exist4 ,living responsibly by giving ourselves to one another--parent to child1 child to parent1 pastor to congregation1 congregation to one another1 church to the world--only in living out the ,word of ,god's love in human relationships can we experience the love of ,god4 ,dr4 ,howe wrote this book at the request of the ,division of ,christian ,education and the ,division of ,evangelism of the ,american ,baptist ,convention4 ,it grew out of a series of lectures he presented at a national conference on ,christian education at ,green ,lake1 ,wis41 on the subject1 ,growth in the ,christian ,fellowship4 ,it is intended that this book be used in study groups such as parent groups or parent-teacher groups4 ,pastors and students of the church will gain new insights from it4 ,moreover1 any individual who is truly interested in the ,christian life will find that it is addressed to him4 ,cover ,design by ,alexander ,limont ,,herein ,,is ,,love ,by the same author ,man's ,need and ,god's ,action ,the ,creative ,years ,,herein ,,is ,,love ,a ,study of the ,biblical ,doctrine of ,love in ,its ,bearing on ,personality1 ,parenthood1 ,teaching1 and ,all ,other ,human ,relationships by ,,reuel ,l4 ,,howe ,the ,judson ,press ,chicago ,valley ,forge ,los ,angeles ---------------------------------------- ---------------------- ,copyright 7,c7 #aifa by ,,the ,,judson ,,press ,sixth printing1 ,april1 #aifc ,all rights in this book are reserved4 ,no part of the text may be reproduced in any manner without permission in writing from the publisher1 except in the case of brief quotations included in a review of the book in a magazine or newspaper4 ,except where indicated otherwise1 the ,bible quotations in this volume are in accordance with the ,revised ,standard ,version of the ,bible1 copyright #aidf and #aieb1 by the ,division of ,christian ,education of the ,national ,council of the ,churches of ,christ in the ,united ,states of ,america1 and are used by permission4 ,,library ,,of ,,congress ,,catalog ,,card ,,no4 #fa-aaaje4 ,printed in the ,u4,s4,a4 ---------------------------------------- ---------------------- ,to my children ,marjorie and ,lanny ,,foreword ,this book was born out of a living encounter with the members of the ,christian ,education ,conference to which ,i lectured at the ,american ,baptist ,assembly at ,green ,lake1 ,wis41 in ,august of #aieh4 ,as ,i stepped to the speaker's rostrum to begin my first lecture to that group1 and my first to so large a group of ,baptist lay people1 ,i wondered whether ,i as an ,episcopalian and they as ,baptists had images of each other that would help or hinder our communication4 ,i shared with them my question and learned later they had been asking themselves the same question4 ,i explained that ,i had prepared myself to speak to them in the hope that through me some of the truth of ,god would be heard by them1 and ,i explained also that their lives were to be their preparation for hearing what ,i had to say2 that is1 that ,i hoped they would work as hard to hear me as ,i would work to make myself understood4 ,they responded in good spirit1 so that the ,spirit of ,god spoke through and to all of us4 ,i describe this occasion because it produced the experience and context out of which the present book appeared4 ,herein ,is ,love is1 ,i believe1 an outward and visible sign of the fellowship of the ,holy ,spirit experienced on that occasion2 and ,i offer it as a means of opening to others the possibility of participating in this fellowship of the ,holy ,spirit4 ,the theme of the book grows out of that experience3 ,as the love of ,god required incarnation in ,jesus of ,nazareth in order that it might be received by us1 so the ,word of ,god's love in our day calls for persons in whom it may be embodied4 ,the church1 as the embodiment of divine love in human relationships1 has tremendous responsibilities and opportunities in our modern culture4 ,the old and familiar biblical symbols and stories do not always communicate their meanings to men today1 and we must find a language that does4 ,the language of the lived life of both man and ,god is the one that we shall use here in an attempt to open to us the meaning of the life of man and of ,god4 ,reuel ,l4 ,howe ,january #aj1 #aifa ,,contents ,,page ,,foreword #g ,,contents #i ,i ,,some ,,frightened ,,friends #aa ,there is no fear in love1 but perfect love casts out fear4 --#a ,john #d3ah ,,ii ,,god ,,in ,,the ,,world #bf ,for ,god so loved the world that he gave his only ,son4444 --,john #c3af ,,iii ,,herein ,,is ,,love #dc ,beloved1 let us love one another2 for love is of ,god1 and he who loves is born of ,god and knows ,god4--#a ,john #d3g ,,iv ,,some ,,objectives ,,of ,,love #fa ,little children1 let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth4--#a ,john #c3ah ,v ,,those ,,who ,,would ,,love #hb ,we know that we have passed out of death into life1 because we love the brethren4--#a ,john #c3ad ,,vi ,,love ,,in ,,action #ii ,by this we know love1 that he laid down his life for us3 and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren4 --#a ,john #c3af ,i ,,some ,,frightened ,,friends ,there is no fear in love1 but perfect love casts out fear4--#a ,john #d3ah ,it seems to me that the church has lost its influence4 ,nobody pays much attention to it any more1 except some of its own members2 and they don't seem to be interested in anything except their own activities4 ,the time was when the word of the minister carried weight4 ,some may not have agreed1 but when the church spoke they paid attention4 ,it's not true now1 though4 ,mr4 ,clarke eyed the others in the group as if he were testing their reactions to the statements he had just made4 ,the church had always given him a sense of security1 and now he was both worried that it seemed to have lost its power1 and resentful that people no longer listened to its teaching4 ,he was one of a group of leaders of a local congregation who1 at the request of their minister1 were meeting to re-examine the purpose of the church4 ,not all of the group had arrived as yet1 and the minister of the congregation1 ,mr4 ,gates1 had been detained in his office by an emergency call upon his pastoral care4 ,within the minute after ,mr4 ,clarke finished1 ,mr4 ,wise spoke up4 ,he was a thoughtful and compassionate member of the congregation who often raised the kind of questions that carried the discussion to deeper levels4 ,when his questions were ignored1 as they often were1 he would smile good-naturedly and continue both as a contributor and as a question raiser4 ,turning to ,mr4 ,clarke1 he said3 ,i think ,i know how you feel4 ,the statements of our ordained spiritual leaders are important1 but do you think we should equate their words with-- ,as usual1 ,mr4 ,wise's comment was interrupted1 and this time by ,mr4 ,churchill who1 with evident irritation1 protested against any concern over what others thought about the church4 ,he said3 ,the church has got to be the church1 and the world is different from it4 ,i don't like this 'return to religion' business4 ,christianity and the church aren't supposed to be popular movements4 ,if people want to join the church1 that's fine2 but if they don't1 that's their lookout4 ,let's be the church and leave the world to itself4 ,but why was ,christ born into the world-- began ,mr4 ,wise4 ,i don't agree1 exclaimed ,mrs4 ,strait1 responding to ,mr4 ,churchill's comment and not hearing ,mr4 ,wise4 ,i think we should be concerned about the world2 concerned enough1 at least1 to set a good example1 so that people will know what they're supposed to live up to and to do4 ,after all1 ,jesus told us how we should live1 and ,he did so in such simple words that even children can understand them4 ,all we have to do--and it's written there for us to read--is to keep the commandments1 imitate ,jesus1 and live a good life for ourselves and others4 ,yes1 but if it's that simple1 why don't church people live better-- ,not at all6 ,not at all6 pronounced the stately ,mr4 ,knowles with some disdain4 ,i don't agree with any of you4 ,our difficulties today result from the ignorance of our people1 and the answer to the problem is education4 ,we need to teach1 and teach again4 ,church people must know their faith and know why they believe in it4 ,when ,i was a child ,i was drilled thoroughly in the knowledge of the ,bible1 and ,i once won a prize for knowing more ,bible verses than any other child4 ,we need more adult education1 and our children must be filled with the truth so they can recite it forwards and backwards4 ,in my estimation1 there is too much emphasis now on persons and not enough on the content of the faith4 ,but didn't ,jesus say1 ',for ,god so loved the world--' ,it seems to me1 interrupted ,professor ,manby1 that all of you are in too much of a hurry4 ,some scientists estimate that man has been eight million years coming to his present state of life4 ,in contrast1 civilized man is only four thousand years old4 ,this being true1 we should be more patient4 ,given time1 man will solve his problems4 ,but has man's character developed in pace with his knowl-- ,at that moment the ,reverend ,mr4 ,gates1 with several other members of the committee1 came into the room1 and after greeting everyone he said3 ,now let's get down to business4 ,as you know1 ,i've called this meeting in order that we may consider the purpose of our church in this community4 ,i think we need a clearer understanding of why we are here4 ,i wish we could be surer that we are serving ,god's purposes and not our own4 ,i wish we all would assume as true that ,god's purposes for ,his church and for us are greater than anything we may think they are1 and that we would hold our opinions and beliefs open to ,his correction and renewal4 ,how can we be any clearer about the purpose of this church than to keep it open and its organizations going1 so that people can come to it if they want to1 exclaimed ,mr4 ,churchill abruptly4 ,mr4 ,wise now got to his feet1 and with a twinkle in his eye began speaking3 ,you've all interrupted me several times1 but now ,i'm going to speak my piece4 ,i think ,mr4 ,gates is right4 ,we do need occasionally to rethink the reason for our existence as a church1 lest it become a private club that caters to our own special needs4 ,our discussion so far tonight suggests that we want the church to be what we need it to be4 ,we want ,god cut down to our own pattern and size4 ,it may be that our church is too small for ,god1 and that we'll turn out to be a religious1 but godless1 club4 ,but how could that happen to us8 protested ,mrs4 ,strait4 ,if we do what's right1 ,god will love us and use us as ,his obedient servants4 ,i wish ,mr4 ,gates would set us straight on these matters4 ,were you going to say anything more1 ,pastor8 inquired ,mr4 ,clarke4 ,yes1 ,i'll have more to say1 replied ,mr4 ,gates slowly1 but this is not my problem only4 ,that's why ,i called you together4 ,we need to help each other think this question through4 ,but to do that1 we all shall need the spirit of ,christ to help us4 ,we need to look at the concepts and meanings that we bring out of our lives in the light of ,christ's teachings and example4 ,he brought the gift of ,god's love1 but ,he brought also a judgment that was most disturbing to religious people4 ,instead of our judging what is good for ,christ1 ,i pray that ,he will judge us1 and help us to be the instruments of ,his love4 ,but you're our minister and teacher1 so why don't you tell us what you think the job of the church is in this community8 ,i'm sure we'd all support you in whatever you might suggest1 urged ,mr4 ,clarke4 ,mr4 ,clarke1 ,i am not the church4 ,i appreciate your confidence in me1 but ,i am only one member of the church4 ,the fact that ,i am ordained does not make me any more responsible for the church than you are1 and ,i refuse to assume your responsibilities for you4 ,instead1 ,i want to use my role as an ordained member of the church1 and such training and experience as ,i have had1 to help you find your role1 so that together we can carry on the functions of the church in ways that will serve ,god and ,his people4 ,when ,mr4 ,gates finished speaking there was silence4 ,the reactions of his hearers were varied1 showing anxiety1 irritation1 confusion1 and blankness4 ,and no wonder6 ,the spontaneous discussion that had gone on before ,mr4 ,gates' arrival had revealed how little their understandings of the church had prepared them to hear the question he was raising4 ,the viewpoints they had brought to the meeting now closed their minds to the meanings he was trying to open to them4 ,what1 then1 were those concepts and meanings that made it so difficult for them to hear and understand their minister8 ,each of them represented a point of view that is widely prevalent in the church today and which keeps the church from being fully relevant and effective4 ,clericalism ,when ,mr4 ,clarke thought about the church1 he did so in terms of the clergy and their work in the church4 ,we might call him a clericalizer2 that is1 one who thinks that only the minister does the work of the church4 ,this idea is the basis of clericalism1 the disease which saps the strength of the church because one part of the body1 the ordained minister1 is made to do the work of the rest of the body1 the unordained members4 ,in the discussion ,mr4 ,gates took exception to this idea1 and rightly so1 for it results in a clergy that is overworked and frustrated4 ,indeed1 they find it impossible to do all that needs to be done4 ,and yet the idea has a hidden appeal for many of them1 for it feeds their professional pride and arrogance4 ,but the damage done by this disease does not cease there4 ,it also makes for church people who are lazy1 who feel that the church belongs to the clergy1 and who are not themselves instruments through which ,god works in the world4 ,god is kept from doing what ,he would do for them1 because ,he cannot do through the clergy what ,he would do through the whole of ,his church4 ,clericalism blocks the ministry of the church1 because it tends to make lay members second-class citizens who feel incompetent on matters of religion4 ,when the ordained member makes religious interpretation and action his professional monopoly1 the lay member responds by exhibiting increasing ignorance and incompetence4 ,sometimes it seems as if lay people show less intelligence in the church than in their world4 ,it is as though the practice of religion had a stupefying effect on them1 whereas in other areas of living they are intelligent1 informed1 and perceptive4 ,this clericalizing of the church's ministry produces in lay members the sense that religion is separate from life4 ,they are heard to say to their ministers1 ,you stick to religion and leave the affairs of the world to us4 ,religion thus becomes a ,sunday business1 and ,sunday business is kept separate from weekday business4 ,still another and related ill effect of clericalism is that it keeps laymen from discovering the religious significance of their work4 ,parents1 for example1 are not only parents entrusted with the physical1 psychological1 and social care of their children1 but also are the teachers1 pastors1 and priests of their children4 ,a teacher may serve ,god in his teaching1 a doctor in his practice of medicine1 a businessman in the conduct of his business1 a milkman in the delivery of milk1 and the garbageman in the collection of garbage4 ,it is the business of the church to help these members find their ministry1 but clericalism never allows them to make the discovery4 ,clericalism1 like any other concept1 is more than a set of ideas4 ,mr4 ,clarke didn't just happen to hold that notion of the church4 ,he held it because he needed it4 ,his need grew out of his dependency1 his timidity1 and his fear of assuming responsibility4 ,he needed to exalt the clergy4 ,he wanted to be told what to believe and to do2 and his doctrine of the ministry1 namely1 clericalism1 justified him in his need4 ,people who want to be told what to believe and to do inevitably will develop or drift toward a doctrine that is authenticated by their need4 ,ministers also contribute to the prevalence of clericalism4 ,all men have a very human and understandable need to be centrally important and indispensable1 and ministers are tempted to exploit this need in the conduct of their work4 ,it is only natural for them to think of the church as my church1 of the people as my people1 and of the ministry as my ministry4 ,these images cause them to function as if everything depended upon them1 and as if they wanted everyone to depend upon them4 ,indeed1 they may even measure the success of their ministry by the number of people who depend upon them for guidance and support1 rather than by the number who are achieving mature self-sufficiency4 ,as a part of this same picture1 some ministers are unable to accept suggestions1 much less criticism4 ,the clericalized image they hold of themselves is that of an answer man2 that is1 one who has all the answers to human problems1 and always right answers4 ,thus1 clericalism is a condition contributed to by both the ordained and the lay members of the church1 and it tragically diminishes the power of the church4 ,it is a symptom of ,mr4 ,clarke's fear and of our own4 ,it shows that we are afraid to trust ,god and to let ,his ,spirit work through the whole of ,his people4 ,churchism ,mr4 ,churchill's ideas1 on the other hand1 represented a different concept1 one which may be called churchism1 or pietistic otherworldliness1 a concept which encourages the church's retreat from the world4 ,it creates an artificial distinction between the religious and the secular1 the religious being thought of as worship and all the other activities that go on in the church building1 and the secular considered to be everything that goes on outside the building4 ,in its local version churchism is parochialism1 or total preoccupation with the church as an institution at the level of the local community4 ,the tragedy of such parochialism is that the creative thought and energies of people are consumed in the mere maintenance of the church as an institution1 and in dead-end religious activity and worship4 ,mr4 ,churchill1 and thousands of others who are like him1 think of the church only as gathered1 as a congregation4 ,they think that the church is most truly the church when its members are assembled in the church building and engaged in church work4 ,they think of the church in terms of going to church1 of working for its organizations1 of planning for its promotion1 and of meeting the needs of the church as an entity separate from the rest of life4 ,what is even worse1 these people think that only when they are doing this church work are they serving ,god4 ,theologically1 their concept means that ,christ died for the church4 ,instead1 ,christ died for the world6 ,the purpose1 then1 of the church is not to meet its own needs but to serve ,god's purposes in the world4 ,this forces upon us the position that not only should we think of the church in its gathered sense1 but also in its dispersed sense4 ,this means that church people should think of themselves as members of the church when they are out in the world1 and that their work in the world is the means through which ,god may act through them in the accomplishment of ,his purposes4 ,therefore1 in terms of the gathered church we can speak of church work1 but in terms of the dispersed church we must think of the work of the church in the world1 the work of the instrument of ,god's purposes there4 ,the relation between the gathered church and the dispersed church should be complementary4 ,the church1 as the people of ,god1 comes together in a conscious way from out of the world to be renewed1 instructed1 and equipped for the purpose of returning1 as the body of ,christ1 to its task in the world4 ,then1 out of its work in the world1 the church gathers again to worship1 to make its offerings1 and to be strengthened anew for its work in the world4 ,elsewhere ,i have likened the church to an army that has been sent on a mission4 ,in order to accomplish its purpose1 it must have a base4 ,in order to have a base1 it must assign certain troops to the task of building and maintaining that base1 so that the rest of the army may be free to accomplish its mission4 ,we tend1 however1 to forget the mission and wastefully assign most of our people to building and maintaining bases1 with the result that we do not accomplish our true purpose4 ,more members need to be assigned to and trained for the mission1 where the conflict between life and death goes on unceasingly4 ,contrary to the opinion of ,mr4 ,churchill1 therefore1 a complementary relation exists between the church and the world4 ,the world is the sphere of ,god's action1 and the church is the means of ,his action4 ,the church must be found at work in the world1 where it will encounter the tension between the saving purposes of ,god and the self-centered purposes of man4 ,as in the case of clericalism1 so it is in the case of churchism4 ,there is a human reason for the existence of the concept and for its prevalence in the church4 ,the reason1 in ,mr4 ,churchill's case1 was to be found in the conflict that he felt between his human interests and his church membership4 ,he had certain real estate holdings and other investments from which he was making an excellent profit4 ,some of these1 however1 were exploitive and in contradiction to the faith which he professed4 ,it was necessary1 therefore1 for him to keep the church and the world separate2 and his doctrine of the church made it possible for him to rationalize the split between his faith and his life4 ,we must not think that ,mr4 ,churchill engaged in this contradiction deliberately4 ,in part1 his action was the unconscious means by which he held on to two conflicting values without suffering from the conflict between them4 ,we must not think that ,mr4 ,churchill is alone in this kind of separation of belief and practice1 of splitting the church from the world4 ,we all have our own individual forms of it4 ,it is because of our insecurity and fear that we develop these defensive attitudes of parochialism and churchism4 ,we huddle like frightened children behind the doors of the church1 whereas1 as soldiers of ,christ1 we should be struggling courageously on the frontiers of life where the conflicts between love and hate1 truth and prejudice1 are being waged4 ,moralism ,the next member of the group who spoke up was ,mrs4 ,strait1 and she voiced for herself and for millions of other church people the moralistic understanding of the faith4 ,moralism is perhaps the most widespread of all the concepts that we are now discussing4 ,moralism is usually identified as belief in good behavior as a source of life4 ,a group of church people1 many of them leaders of their respective parishes1 were asked to describe the ,christian4 ,it would be no exaggeration to say that their descriptions of a ,christian made it difficult to distinguish him from a ,jew1 because1 according to their statements1 a ,christian is one who achieves his status as such by obeying the commandments of ,god4 ,he must live a good life by keeping the law4 ,the imitation of ,jesus is the method1 illuminated by a study of ,his teachings1 especially the teachings in the ,sermon on the ,mount4 ,and1 as ,mrs4 ,strait indicated1 they agreed that a ,christian should set a good example for other people4 ,when asked how they felt about this concept of the ,christian life1 many of them admitted that they were not too enthusiastic about it1 because it was hard to achieve4 ,they admitted that they failed often and miserably4 ,one man put it rather well when he said that he felt that trying to be a ,christian was like whistling in the dark4 ,they all admitted that their concept was widespread among their fellow church members and that it had little appeal4 ,when they were asked why such an unappealing concept of a ,christian was so prevalent1 they replied that it was due to people's feeling that they ought to be better than they are4 ,their discussion revealed further that they were unable to accept themselves as human beings1 and that they felt they had to justify themselves by doing good works and by moral living4 ,that is the reason why ,mrs4 ,strait holds to the moralistic concept of the ,christian life4 ,separated from her husband and feared by her children1 she feels acutely vulnerable and guilty4 ,as a defense1 she has built for herself a fortress made up of precepts1 ideals1 and rules1 all based on a foundation of righteousness1 and this has made her a formidable and rigid person4 ,like all self-righteous people1 she tirelessly dispenses obvious truths1 and keeps her own life and that of others narrowly proscribed4 ,mrs4 ,strait is in no way an exception4 ,the lives of moralistic people are not beautiful to behold4 ,they are apt to be conventional1 legalistic1 and maintainers of the status quo4 ,because they have no sense of deliverance themselves1 they are apt to be ungracious in relation to others4 ,because they live by the law1 they do not show the fruit of the ,spirit3 namely1 the love1 joy1 peace1 and long-suffering which should mark the followers of ,christ4 ,they reveal how impossible it is for a human being to be a ,christian by himself4 ,he needs the spirit of ,christ to live in him and to remake him4 ,as we shall see later1 there is available to us the spirit of ,christ1 who accomplishes in us the righteousness of ,christ which is of the spirit and not of the law4 ,moralism also is a sign of our fear and defensiveness4 ,we reduce life to the dimensions of a moral code1 because we are afraid to trust the ,spirit and to risk the dangers of love and its communication4 ,as one person said1 ,let's be proper so we won't need to pray1 for there is no knowing what ,god might ask us to do if we really listened to ,him4 ,in other words1 moralism is a way of playing it safe4 ,intellectualism ,a fourth concept sometimes held by church members about the faith was exhibited by ,mr4 ,knowles4 ,its name is intellectualism4 ,this intellectualism1 sometimes called gnosticism1 claims that knowledge is the source of life1 and that the possession of knowledge delivers us from the power of evil4 ,this is an ancient heresy that lives on in every generation4 ,the desire to know and the achievement of skill in the use of knowledge are indeed commendable4 ,but to know is not justifiable as an end in itself4 ,knowledge about ,god and man1 about the ,bible and the ,christian faith1 about the church and its history1 is good and necessary for informed ,christian living1 but it can in no way substitute for our dependence upon ,christ and the work of ,his spirit in us4 ,we need to know about ,christian faith1 but it must not replace the need to love and to be loved4 ,knowledge about ,god must not become more important than our knowing ,god4 ,when religious and theological knowledge becomes an end in itself1 the church is apt to become coldly intellectual and sophisticated4 ,i am reminded of a group of laymen who became avid students of ,christian theology1 and who became so prideful in their achievement that they exhibited in their relations with one another1 as well as with their other associates1 a spirit of pride1 arrogance1 and competitiveness4 ,they had acquired the knowledge of ,christianity1 but they had lost the spirit of the ,christ4 ,the work of ,christians is not so much to hold and transmit a knowledge of the faith as it is to be the personal representatives and instruments of ,christ in the world4 ,to be sure1 ,christ's representatives should know what they are talking about and intellectually be able to enter into dialogue with all men4 ,but their knowing should incarnate them1 both as persons and in their capacity to represent ,god and ,his ,christ to men4 ,this brings us also to a controversy that exists in the field of ,christian education4 ,many people feel that the purpose of the church school is to transmit the content of the ,christian faith4 ,christian education1 however1 must be personal4 ,it must take place in a personal encounter1 and only secondarily is it transmissive4 ,it is true1 however1 that ,christian education is responsible for the continued recital of ,god's saving acts1 and for the transmission of the subject matter of the historical faith and life of the ,christian community4 ,the content of our faith was born of ,god's action and man's response--a divine-human encounter4 ,it is neither possible nor correct to reduce this to subject matter and substitute the transmission of subject matter for the encounter1 with the assumption that it will accomplish the same purpose 7it cannot1 it never has1 and it never will74 ,actually1 the relations of transmission and encounter are complementary4 ,both are needed4 ,the church1 as the tradition-bearing community1 contains both poles and should not subordinate one to the other4 ,when the content of the tradition is lost1 the meaning of the encounter is lost1 and in the end even the encounter itself4 ,then tradition becomes idolatrous and sterile4 ,both are necessary to the community of faith1 and both are meaningless1 even dangerous1 if separated4 ,christian teaching is concerned with both4 ,mr4 ,knowles1 however1 is not happy about the required complementary relation between the content of the ,christian faith and his life4 ,as ,mrs4 ,strait uses moralism for a defense1 so ,mr4 ,knowles uses his emphasis on the content of the ,bible as a way of protecting himself from the deeper and more personal challenges of life4 ,he is estranged from his family1 and he is regarded as austere and unfriendly by his employees and many of his business associates4 ,personal relations frighten him1 but by mastery of knowledge he gains superiority and power over others4 ,intellectualism and gnosticism are not confined to the church4 ,we see their influence in every walk of life4 ,many people talk much about the importance of love in human relationships1 but they do not love4 ,they use their knowledge about love as an evasion of their responsibility to express love4 ,man cannot be saved by what he knows1 but only by the way he lives with his brother4 ,if any one says1 ',i love ,god1' and hates his brother1 he is a liar4#a ,this is the stern but clear word of the ,scriptures4 ,but we can be so frightened by the risks of expressing love that we may turn away from those who need our love and have a right to expect it from us4 ,how much easier and safer it is to know about ,god and ,his love1 and to confine this meaning to the sanctuary and the study group6 ,intellectualism1 then1 is another way in which we try to play it safe4 ,humanism ,professor ,manby speaks for humanism1 another point of view in the church4 ,he1 with others1 says1 ,give man time and he will work out his own salvation4 ,humanists1 like ,dr4 ,manby1 often react against the religiosity of the church with the complaint that the search for truth is cluttered with obsolete myths and meaningless observances4 ,on the other hand1 the humanists1 while splendid in their devotion to truth1 have only their opinion of what is good and true to guide them4 ,because they acknowledge no life beyond this one1 they become the servants of a closed system in which injustice frustrates the justice for which they plead and work4 ,the plight of the humanists is pathetic4 ,since they accept no savior1 they can draw only on their own human resources1 and are put in the position of trying to lift themselves by their own power4 ,they can only whistle in the dark4 ,while man apart from ,god cannot save himself1 ,god's love for the world works in the world1 and ,he has a part for man to take4 ,in the relation between ,god and man1 there is need for both the greatness of ,god and the greatness of man4 ,dealing with ,conflicts ,and so these five frightened friends1 familiar types to us all1 reveal to us how easy it is to get lost in our preoccupations and to distort or diminish the truth we would serve4 ,mr4 ,gates1 the minister1 has his anxieties1 too4 ,he represents the ordained ministry of the church1 which is caught between the demands of the theory of ,christianity and the demands of the world2 between the demands of the pulpit and the demands of the pew2 between the church as an institution and the church as a saving power in the world2 between the surges of the spirit and the sucking drag of tradition4 ,and he himself is also trapped by the demands of his image of himself as a minister and the demands of his people's image of him2 by the idealism of his training for the ,christian ministry and the realism of the demands on his ministry in the church and in the world4 ,he cannot resolve these conflicts by himself1 nor should he try4 ,these are not his conflicts4 ,they are the conflicts of the church's ministry1 and he and the people need to deal with them together4 ,neither he nor they will be able to resolve the conflicts1 because they are the inevitable tensions between the spirit and the ,law1 and between life and form4 ,but ,mr4 ,gates and all other ministers1 together with the rest of the people of ,god1 by reason of the ,christian faith1 must live through these conflicts and deal with them creatively4 ,both ,mr4 ,gates and his people need to accept conflicts as an inevitable part of life1 especially of a life that is lived in response to a call or a loyalty4 ,no growth or learning takes place at any depth without such conflict3 conflict between the known and the unknown1 between our need for security and our need for maturity4 ,this is the nature of life4 ,as for the gospel1 let us not forget that its universally accepted symbol is the cross1 a symbol of the conflict between love and hate1 between life and death4 ,as ,christians1 our only realistic expectation is that because of our ,christian belief and practice1 our conflicts will increase and intensify rather than diminish4 ,the only peace we may hope to have is an irrational peace1 an in-spite-of peace1 the peace of the depths beneath the storm-tossed surface2 in other words1 the peace of ,god1 which passes all understanding4#b ,to suggest how this may be achieved in some areas of life is the purpose of this book4 ,finally1 ,mr4 ,wise1 the member of the group whose remarks were always being interrupted by the others1 represents a ,christian point of view which1 in the church generally1 is listened to no more than it was here4 ,what he was trying to say will be explored more fully as an answer to some of the questions raised in this chapter4 #a #a ,john #d3bj4 #b ,phil4 #d3g4 ,,ii ,,god ,,in ,,the ,,world ,for ,god so loved the world that he gave his only ,son4444--,john #c3af ,the concepts and attitudes of ,mr4 ,clarke1 ,mr4 ,churchill1 ,mrs4 ,strait1 ,mr4 ,knowles1 and ,professor ,manby lead them and the rest of the church away from ,god and the world4 ,their clericalism1 pietism1 moralism1 intellectualism1 and humanism represent ways in which frightened and disturbed people seek to make themselves secure4 ,unfortunately1 however1 their security then is purchased at the price of their freedom4 ,their lives become locked up in the small closet of their limited concepts4 ,their literal and rigid understanding of the ,christian church and its faith makes them so loveless that their lives have an alienating effect on others1 and they themselves fail to find ,god4 ,concepts ,about ,god ,may ,be ,dangerous ,they do not1 nor shall we1 find ,god in our concepts about ,him or about ,his church4 ,he is not to be found in assertions about ,him or in abstract belief about ,his omnipotence or other attributes4 ,god is not an idea1 but ,being itself1 and our ideas are only our concept or image of ,him4 ,when we confuse ,god with our ideas about ,him1 we are misled into thinking that we know what ,he wants1 and we tend to represent and act for ,him uncritically4 ,this confusion between ,god and our ideas about ,him explains why the religion of so many people lacks humility and reverence4 ,it is one of the reasons why true ,christian fellowship is as rare as it is4 ,not only may these ideas and concepts lead us away from ,god1 but also they may lead us out of the world and away from that encounter with the world which began with the ,incarnation4 ,separation of the church from the world1 its assumption that its task is to defend itself from the attacks of the so-called secular1 its defensiveness of ,god in response to the unfaith of the world1 all are symptoms of church people's lack of faith in ,god and of their failure to understand how and where ,he works4 ,in other words1 the otherworldliness of the church hardly harmonizes with the worldliness of ,god1 ,who chose to create the world1 to speak and act in and through it1 and ,who finally entered it and made the life of man in history ,his right hand4 ,our belief in the ,incarnation and our understanding of the love of ,god for the world should send us1 as children of ,god1 into the world1 into the so-called secular order1 eager to participate in its meanings1 and to bring them into relation with the meanings of ,god4 ,as we work at this1 we shall begin to experience true ,christian fellowship1 the fellowship of the ,holy ,spirit1 which ,i understand to be the fellowship of people who have the courage to live together as persons rather than to relate themselves to each other through their ideas and preconceptions4 ,christian fellowship is living with and for one another responsibly1 that is1 in love4 ,if any one says1 ',i love ,god1' and hates his brother1 he is a liar4#c ,and1 ,he who abides in love abides in ,god1 and ,god abides in him4#d ,if we would find ,god1 therefore1 and learn the meaning of life and love1 we must live in the world by giving ourselves to one another responsibly4 ,it is for this that the church exists4 ,the church does not exist to save1 build up1 and adorn itself4 ,nor does it exist to protect or defend ,god4 ,the mission of the church is to participate in the reconciling dialogue between ,god and man4 ,here is the source of the true life of the world4 ,here1 too1 is the source of the life of the church and its worship4 ,without this1 everything1 including worship1 is false and idolatrous4 ,these are some of the things which ,mr4 ,wise was trying to say to the group4 ,he represents those in the church who see beneath the surface of things and behind the distortions of conventional and defensive ,christianity4 ,but the question that finally emerges is3 ,how do we free ourselves from the distortions of our faith8 ,what should we do8 ,we ,find ,god at ,work in the ,world ,the answer is simple4 ,we should look for ,god in the world4 ,we shall find ,him in the meeting between men4 ,where two or three are gathered in my name1 there am ,i in the midst of them4#e ,and1 gathered in my name means gathered in the spirit and after the character of ,jesus4 ,it does not mean gathered only under special and separate religious auspices4 ,to be sure1 the gatherings of ,god's people for worship and instruction are indispensable to the life of the church1 but unless we translate our worship and instruction into action1 our religious observances will be idolatrous and sinful1 and will separate men from each other and from ,god4 ,so we look for ,god where ,he works2 that is1 in the world and between man and man4 ,the place where we encounter ,god first1 in the course of our individual lives1 is in the family4 ,the family provides the individual with his first experience of living in relation to other persons1 and this is his first experience of ,christian fellowship4 ,immediately we are confronted with the nature of ,god's creation and1 therefore1 with the revelation of ,himself and of how ,he works4 ,we are confronted with the relational nature of all life2 for nothing exists in isolation4 ,everything and every person finds full meaning only in relation to other things and persons4 ,we are used to thinking of persons as living in relation to persons2 we are less accustomed to thinking of things existing in relation to other things4 ,but does not the tree exist in relation to the earth1 atmosphere1 and water8 ,and does not the hammer exist as hammer in relation to the hand that uses it and the object it pounds8 ,the only difference is that persons are active participants in relationship and things are passive4 ,but things may be made active symbols or instruments in the meeting between man and man1 as1 for instance1 in the case of the bread and wine of the ,lord's ,supper4 ,god created man to live in relation with the world of things1 with himself1 and with his fellow men1 and to live in these relationships in such a way that he will discover and grow in his relationship with ,god4 ,the terms man and relationship are synonymous4 ,an old ,roman proverb puts it1 ,one man is no man at all4 ,alone we would cease to exist4 ,we all have had the experience of being shut out from some important relationship and we know what a desperate feeling it produces4 ,we lose whatever sense of well-being we may have had1 and we begin to feel unwanted1 depressed1 and less alive4 ,when we are warmly gathered again into an important group1 we begin to come alive4 ,our blood runs faster1 and we know the joy of life again4 ,it is almost as though we had been resurrected4 ,the sense of being a part1 the experience of fellowship1 makes the difference between life and death4 ,i once visited in a home where a teen-age girl was having one of her frequent tragic love experiences4 ,the boy she was currently dating had not called her up for three days4 ,she was full of gloom1 moped around the house1 and lost her usual interest in everything4 ,one evening the phone rang and the call was for her4 ,first we heard her laugh1 and then she burst into the room full of gaiety and enthusiasm4 ,you would not have known her for the same girl4 ,alone and rejected1 as she thought1 she was dead4 ,restored to relationship1 she came alive again4 ,we may smile patronizingly at the emotional excesses of this teen-age girl1 but on the other hand we understand deeply the fundamental meaning of her experience4 ,the patterns of relationship begin with our birth4 ,we would not survive if the whole community1 centering in the basic function of the mother1 did not assume responsibility for us4 ,our dependence upon her for food and care is the occasion for the beginning of relationship4 ,and both the infant and the mother have their part to play4 ,she moves as a person toward her child with the gifts of her milk and of her love4 ,the infant1 on his side1 in random and non-specific ways1 calls out to her4 ,he cries and makes his simple movements4 ,she responds to his cries with her care4 ,he responds to her care by sleeping and waking1 by crying and cooing4 ,and thus begins the dialogical nature of relationship4 ,relationship ,is ,dialogue ,relationship is dialogue4 ,dialogue occurs when one person addresses another person and the other person responds4 ,it is a two-way process in which two or more people discuss meanings that concern them4 ,to whatever degree one part of the dialogue is lost1 to that degree the relationship ceases to exist4 ,a marriage1 for instance1 ceases to exist1 except in form1 only when either one of the partners ceases to communicate with the other1 and the quality of address and response is lost4 ,likewise1 true religion disappears when it represents only what ,god says and eliminates the meaning of man's response4 ,religious dogma is sometimes used to shackle human creativity1 and the form of belief is allowed to stifle the vitality of faith4 ,similarly1 religion disappears when the address to ,god and the response of ,god are eliminated4 ,the ,pharisee in ,jesus' parable had lost the dialogical quality of his prayer because he stood and prayed thus with himself4444#f ,he was not speaking to ,god and he expected no response1 with the result that his religion lost its dialogical quality since he was separated from ,god by his self-righteousness4 ,this dialogical quality is indispensable to creative living4 ,it is out of the dialogical encounter that the individual emerges4 ,only by the process of dialogical teaching can children really learn4 ,the relationship between parent and child is not one-sided4 ,the child may protest against the authority of the parent4 ,this is the child's part of the dialogue4 ,the parent may recognize his child's need to find himself as an autonomous person by making allowance for his protest and exercise of freedom4 ,the next stage in the dialogue between them is the reassurance which the child experiences and reflects in his behavior in response to his parent's affirmation of him as a person4 ,he may show this by a more realistic acceptance of the parent's authority4 ,this in turn may reassure the parent1 so that he feels more relaxed in the exercise of his authority4 ,gradually the parent and the child begin to experience a more mature relationship with each other4 ,we ,are ,responsible for ,each ,other ,because of the dialogical nature of relationship1 we have responsibility for one another4 ,each of us has a responsibility to call forth the other as a person1 and each needs to be called forth since none of us will develop automatically4 ,we call forth one another in the same way that the conductor of an orchestra calls forth the powers of his musicians and the potentialities of their instruments4 ,and they respond by calling forth the interpretive genius of their conductor4 ,each draws out the powers of the other4 ,the potentialities for development are inherent in us1 but we need the warmth and stimulation of other persons4 ,this is certainly true in the case of the newly born4 ,the role of parents and teachers is to call forth and welcome the personal responses and initiatives of their children4 ,this is also true of those who1 because of the pressures of life1 start to unfold as persons but then withdraw in order to protect themselves from further hurt4 ,here again1 parents and teachers1 pastors and counselors1 and indeed all men1 from time to time1 are obliged to call forth some soul who is either in hiding or in retreat4 ,this role is easy to see in our relation with children1 because children's responses are sometimes so uncomplicated that the process we are talking about is clearly revealed4 ,susie1 feeling that an injustice had been done her1 retreated to her room and withdrew into herself4 ,after seeing that she would need help in order to come to herself again1 her mother finally asked her if she would like to help her bake a cake4 ,soon ,susie and her mother were chatting happily together in the kitchen doing something that ,susie loved to do whenever her mother had time to help her4 ,during the course of their conversation1 the mother had an opportunity to help ,susie understand the situation that had upset her4 ,as a result1 ,susie emerged out of the situation more mature and resourceful4 ,i once knew a bus driver who discovered that he1 too1 could call forth people by the way in which he greeted them and did business with them4 ,on his morning runs he observed that many people were grumpy and sullen1 and treated him and their fellow passengers discourteously4 ,at first his inclination was to respond in the same way4 ,then he discovered that by taking the initiative and greeting his passengers with a smile and cordial word1 and by making change cheerfully and being patient with their grumpiness1 the spirit of his passengers underwent a transformation4 ,over the years a number of people told him how grateful they were for his good cheer4 ,they said that his influence had often been decisive in their lives4 ,it had affected their relations with other people4 ,thus1 his attitude toward people and his method of relating himself to them as a driver of a bus became his ministry2 and since he was a member of the church1 the church's ministry reached out and worked through that bus driver into the lives of many who may never have come anywhere near the church4 ,through such relationships4 ,god is present and active in the world4 ,the relationship between man and man1 therefore1 not only is important to men1 but also is a part of ,god's plan for the reconciliation of the world unto ,himself4 ,it is given to us for our own sakes and also for the accomplishment of ,god's purposes4 ,unfortunately1 however1 our relating to one another often is hurtful because of our anxiety and insecurity4 ,we may attack others in order to make ourselves feel secure4 ,instead of calling them forth1 we cause them to withdraw4 ,even when we undertake to love others1 we may do it in ways that hurt them1 because we love them for selfish reasons4 ,human relationships1 in themselves1 are ambiguous1 and we need deliverance from the ambiguity of them1 for these relationships can either destroy people or call them forth4 ,human ,love ,is ,ambiguous ,furthermore1 because human love can be ambiguous1 we do not know whether it is safe to give and accept love4 ,it is a risk both to love and to accept love1 and all of us1 to some degree1 are afraid to take the risk4 ,some people1 to be sure1 have more courage for it than others4 ,they love more courageously1 and are more courageous in their acceptance of others' love4 ,these people seem to have a power of being that others lack4 ,the giving and receiving of love implies responsibility for one another1 and we may withhold our love and reject the love of others as a way of evading the responsibility of love4 ,we are willing to love up to the point where it begins to be inconvenient to love any more4 ,we like the image of ourselves as loved and loving people1 but we would like the benefit without the responsibilities of the role4 ,when the response to our love presents us with demands1 we may begin to hold people off4 ,we may say3 ,yes1 to be sure1 ,i love you1 but keep your distance4 ,i am willing to give of myself1 but not too much4 ,i need to keep something of me for myself4 ,by this attitude we are admitting that when we love another we have to give ourselves to him1 entrust ourselves to him4 ,commitment to another person is a courageous act1 and it is no wonder that we sometimes recoil from it4 ,what has been said about giving love is equally true of accepting love1 for the acceptance of love also calls for trust and commitment4 ,if ,i really respond to your love1 ,i will open myself to the possibility of being hurt because your love cannot be completely trusted4 ,furthermore1 if you should really love me1 ,i am not worthy of your love and ,i do not welcome the judgment of me that is implicit in your love4 ,i shall1 therefore1 make a cautious response to you and give myself to you guardedly4 ,then the person who is giving love is made lonely because his gift is not accepted4 ,he1 too1 begins to withdraw and to dole out his love1 which in turn increases the anxiety of the one to whom it is being given4 ,this is an aspect of human fellowship which we need to recognize before we talk much about ,christian fellowship4 ,human fellowship is both heroic and tragic2 it is both renewing and destructive2 it is both healing and hurtful1 but it is indispensable to life4 ,this is our human predicament4 ,something is needed to cut into the ambiguity of human love4 ,and this is what ,christ does4 ,he draws the confused currents of human love into the unifying stream of divine love1 thus making possible a new relationship4 ,as the apostle ,paul makes clear1 we become new creatures in ,christ1 and as such1 a part of a new creation4#g ,having considered some of the characteristics of human love and fellowship1 let us now look at ,christian love and fellowship4 ,one word of caution is needed before we begin4 ,the fellowship of ,christian men and women will still have its human look1 but something new has been added that makes a difference4 ,what is it8 ,how shall we describe the new relationship8 ,what ,is ,christian ,fellowship8 ,christian fellowship is the relation of men and women who1 by the power of the ,holy ,spirit1 participate in the life and work of ,christ4 ,christian living is participation in the continued living of ,christ through the activity of ,his ,spirit4 ,this concept stands in sharp contrast to the ones held by the church members described in the first chapter4 ,the source of the ,christian's life is not knowledge about ,god or even our historical remembrance of ,his incarnate life1 although they contribute to it4 ,neither is it to be found in a determined imitation of ,christ's life1 although that effort also will help4 ,nor is it in the good will of man which1 along with his power of love1 is likewise found to be ambiguous4 ,no1 the true source of the ,christian life and of the ,christian relationship is the incarnation of ,his ,spirit in the lives of men4 ,the presence and working of ,his ,spirit transforms our own spirit and provides a new dynamic for our living4 ,this does not mean that we cease to be human2 the old conflicts are still there and the old battles must continue to be fought1 but a new power of being and of love is given to us by the indwelling ,spirit4 ,just now we referred to the incarnation of ,his ,spirit in us4 ,the concept of incarnation is an ancient one in ,christianity1 and represents the embodiment of ,god in the human form of the historic ,jesus1 ,who participated in the life of man as man in order that man1 through ,him1 might participate in the ,being of ,god4 ,what happened is known to us all4 ,the incarnation produced the life of ,jesus1 ,his death1 resurrection1 and the coming of ,his ,spirit4 ,these are not once-for-all historic events as was the life of ,julius ,caesar or of ,george ,washington4 ,through ,him a new power of love was released into life that continues unto this day4 ,b4,c4 and ,a4,d4 are not merely a way of dividing time1 but are our way of acknowledging that in the life of ,jesus of ,nazareth something radically different entered into life1 a new dynamic that changed the nature of creation4 ,we participate in the historic incarnation of ,jesus of ,nazareth which took place #aijj years ago by the daily incarnations of ,his ,spirit in our individual lives and in the life of the people of ,god4 ,and since ,his incarnation meant ,god's entry into the world1 so likewise the indwelling of ,his ,spirit in us also should mean ,god's entry into our world and into its conflicts and issues4 ,we are ,christians by doing what ,he did in the world1 which was to have a care and a responsibility for others4 ,his ,spirit seeks to incarnate ,himself in the day-to-day decisions of every responsible person in every sphere of his living4 ,thus the mother not only serves ,god by her decisions and actions in the home1 but through these same decisions and actions she may believe that ,god is present and accomplishing ,his purposes for her and for the members of her family4 ,so1 likewise1 a businessman's sphere of ,christian action is carried out in the decisions and work of his business1 but also he may believe that in and through these same decisions and work ,god seeks to accomplish ,his purpose4 ,so the principle of incarnation means that ,god is both served and met at the points of decision and responsibility of our daily lives4 ,and this is what it means to participate in ,his life by the power of ,his ,spirit1 to bear the true mark of the ,christian4 ,in the context of these thoughts1 we may now look at the three parts of the earthly life of ,jesus ,christ1 and1 as we examine them1 the idea of participating in ,his life may become clearer4 ,participation in the ,life of ,christ ,first of all1 there is ,his earthly life1 the life of the man ,jesus1 ,whom we call ,lord and ,savior1 the ,christ4 ,this life gives us the picture of what ,god meant man to be4 ,here is the perfect portrait of ,god's creation--man4 ,it as a stirring picture and we love to look at it1 contemplate it1 read about it4 ,it is a dull mind and heart that does not quicken in response to ,his amazing compassion and strength2 and as we study his instructions to us1 it becomes clear that ,he expects us to be to our generation what ,he was to ,his4 ,when we realize what ,his teaching and commandment require of us1 our sense of the beauty and simplicity of ,his life is overshadowed by the terror aroused in us by ,his expectation of us4 ,we know that the ugliness of our lives can never reproduce the beauty of ,his4 ,from a human point of view1 the imitation of ,christ is a complete impossibility1 and one wonders how so many ,christians can go on1 generation after generation1 thinking that this is their task and that they can accomplish it4 ,yet it is clear that ,he expects us to be members of ,his body and to do ,his work in our time4 ,is it possible that ,he asked us to do something that is beyond our powers of accomplishment8 ,if this is so1 then far from being ,savior1 ,he is one of the most cruel of men4 ,there must be some other answer4 ,the answer1 of course1 is that ,christ did not leave us alone to carry out ,his commandments1 summed up in the great commandment3 ,you shall love the ,lord your ,god with all your heart1 and with all your soul1 and with all your strength1 and with all your mind2 and your neighbor as yourself4#h ,he understood only too well the ambiguity of our lives4 ,how understanding ,he was of vacillating ,peter1 and yet ,he called him the ,rock4 ,had ,peter possessed any self-understanding1 he must have wondered why his ,lord gave him that name4 ,but after the resurrection and the coming of the ,holy ,spirit1 ,peter became the ,rock1 because then he incarnated the ,spirit of his ,lord4 ,as with ,peter1 so with us4 ,the presence of the ,spirit makes possible an imitation of ,christ4 ,now we can read the ,gospels without dread1 and not as patterns for us to imitate literally and slavishly4 ,the ,new ,testament provides the understandings that help us to test whether or not we are responding to ,his ,spirit and letting ,him accomplish ,his work in and through us4 ,thus1 like ,peter1 we may become rocks1 incarnating the ,spirit of our ,lord4 ,nor do we need to be embarrassed by our humanity4 ,we begin to sense that we cannot be ,christian without first being human1 which means that we shall be both loving and hostile1 both righteous and sinful1 both courageous and cowardly1 both dependable and vacillating4 ,we are in the world and of the world as other men are1 and we share the lot of human existence4 ,but in addition1 we have been given the spirit of power and love and self-control1 not that we may be condescending toward the world1 or try to regulate it as if it were a recalcitrant child1 but that we may be embodiments of the ,spirit of ,god in human affairs through whom ,he may accomplish ,his purposes in the world4 ,in the process1 because ,his ,spirit is in us1 men will know that they have seen ,jesus4 ,thus we may come to understand the life of the people of ,god1 and to find therein a basis for a true evangelism2 and thus we may participate in the life and teaching of ,christ1 which are at once our ideal and pattern of living1 and at the same time our judgment4 ,participation in the ,crucifixion ,since the life of the ,christian is participation in his own time in the life of ,christ1 he must participate also in the crucifixion and death of his ,lord1 which were a part of ,his life4 ,christ's crucifixion and death were a natural consequence of ,his teaching and of the way in which ,he lived4 ,the acceptance of the unacceptable1 the loving of the unlovable1 inevitably produces the necessity of the ,cross1 which itself must be chosen and accepted if the life of love is to be triumphant4 ,we would like to evade this part of ,christian living1 if that were possible4 ,the ,cross and all that it represents is the part of the ,christian gospel that we would prefer to skip4 ,the lives of church people reveal only too clearly how much they wish it were possible to move directly from the contemplation of the ideal to its actualization1 and to bypass the experience of crucifixion and its meaning for us4 ,lovers1 for example1 would like to move from the contemplation of the romantic ideal of their love to its realization in their lives4 ,but the full meaning of their love cannot become available to them except as they pass through the challenges and crises of their relationship and die to themselves for the sake of the other4 ,nor can anyone master a skill or a field of study except as he moves from the vision of what he might do1 to its realization through the path of self-discipline1 which is a kind of dying to himself and to other values which he might choose and cultivate4 ,jesus ,christ affirmed by ,his teaching and life this principle of disciplined self-giving4 ,if we would be partakers of ,his resurrection1 we must be willing to be buried with ,him in ,his death4 ,we are expected to show forth ,his death till ,he comes1 and we do this by dying daily4 ,in one sense1 the life of the ,christian is a life of dying4 ,being buried with ,christ in ,his death is symbolized in the act of baptism1 especially when it is administered by immersion and accompanied with such a ,scripture verse as1 ,we were buried therefore with him by baptism into death1 so that as ,christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the ,father1 we too might walk in newness of life4#i ,in other words we have to expect the pain of our relationships and accept the responsibility of them for the sake of the glory in them that may be revealed later4 ,we are to accept the unacceptable in ourselves and in others1 because on the cross ,christ accepted the unacceptable in all men4 ,this is what produced the ,cross4 ,and so ,he died1 bearing the sin of man while ,he perfectly fulfilled ,his own teaching2 that is1 ,he was perfectly obedient to the full meaning of love4 ,we too have to die daily to our desire for peace at any price1 to our desire to work out convenient and comfortable compromises1 and to our desire to be ,god and to have things run our own way4 ,thus1 we come to realize the meaning of ,his words1 ,whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it4#aj ,the ,christian fellowship1 therefore1 is the fellowship of men and women who accept dying as a part of living1 and who are not surprised by the presence in human relations of selfishness1 betrayals1 misrepresentations1 hostility1 and all other violations of the ideal4 ,when we meet these things1 we should not run away1 or pretend that such conditions do not exist4 ,instead1 we should face these hostile and negative human responses with courage4 ,because we are participating in the life of our ,lord1 we may move through these experiences1 knowing that nothing can really separate us from the love of ,god which seeks to make itself known in and through our relations with one another4 ,we may trust that if we accept the pain that we have in our relations with one another and are obedient to the spirit of the love that seeks to reunite man with man1 we may emerge on the farther side of the painful experience with relationships that are richer1 deeper1 and stronger than they were before4 ,an excellent illustration of this principle is to be found in ,tennessee ,williams' play1 ,cat on a ,hot ,tin ,roof1 the point of which many people miss because of what they regard to be the vulgarity1 profanity1 and licentiousness of its characters4 ,in the play1 ,brock1 the son1 evaded his problems with himself1 his father1 his wife1 and his work through an excessive use of alcohol4 ,his father1 ,big ,daddy1 in his rough1 profane way was greatly concerned about his son4 ,finally1 in a tremendous scene between ,big ,daddy and ,brock1 the father pursued his son through every kind of evasion and rationalization in a determined effort to break through to his heart4 ,nothing that ,brock could say to his father was sufficient to cause ,big ,daddy to turn away4 ,he could easily have abandoned his sick boy and evaded the pain of what he was trying to do4 ,instead1 he hammered at the door of ,brock's life with a love that was willing to accept every rejection that his son could offer4 ,and he did not give up4 ,finally1 he broke through1 reached his boy1 and brought him back to his life with his family and his work4 ,because he was willing to die to himself and every comfortable impulse4 ,big ,daddy was freed to be the instrument of a saving love4 ,here was a dramatic portrayal of the truth which our ,lord not only taught but exemplified1 and which ,he would like to see reproduced in the lives of all of us4 ,incidentally1 it is ironical that so many ,christian people missed the real message of this play because they were so easily offended by that which is not pretty in human life4 ,it is a shame that we would rather be pretty than redemptive4 ,we seem to place respectability above salvation4 ,christians ought to be able to see through and behind the dirty and sinful ways in which people live1 and recognize them as symptoms of a spiritual condition that calls for that which ,god is trying to give them through us4 ,it is tragic that some would-be ,christians1 like ,mrs4 ,strait1 become so moralistic that they condemn rather than help people4 ,christ could see behind the suffering of men1 behind their sins1 and ,he was not distracted by what they did4 ,he was concerned for men first and for their behavior last4 ,he knew that if ,he could reach the man1 the behavior would take care of itself4 ,we are supposed to be like ,him1 men and women who1 because ,his ,spirit indwells us and because we participate in ,his living and dying1 are able to see the hearts of other men and women and to unite them with the power of ,god's love and forgiveness4 ,participation in the ,resurrection ,this kind of living would bring us to our third participation in the life of ,christ1 namely1 in ,his resurrection4 ,because ,he was faithful to ,his love and willing to die in obedience to its demand1 ,he was raised up in triumph1 and with ,him all things were made new4 ,these were the events of ,his life4 ,but ,his life affirms the principle of ,god's life as it is lived in human existence4 ,since ,his ,spirit incarnates itself in us1 then we may expect that our lives will be triumphant also and be the source of renewal for others4 ,another criticism that we can make of ,christians is that they do not have this sense of expectancy1 this sense of deliverance1 this sense of triumph1 and this appearance of having been renewed4 ,all too often we are grim and sad1 discouraged and cynical1 and our lives contradict the faith we profess4 ,however1 because we participate in ,his resurrection1 we are given the wonderful power of facing any problem with courage1 even though it may seem1 from a human point of view1 that no solution is possible4 ,we live in the faith that if we consent to be buried with ,christ in ,his death1 we shall be made partakers of ,his resurrection4 ,and this1 not in the hereafter1 but now1 in this present life4 ,a father told me of an incident with his son that illustrates the principle we are now considering4 ,he and his son had become involved in a quarrel and both had lost their tempers4 ,the father confessed that he had said some harsh and cruel things to his boy4 ,finally1 however1 he came to himself1 realized what he was doing1 and1 dying to his pride1 he acknowledged his fault and asked his son's forgiveness4 ,when the exchange was over1 the boy was still rather subdued1 but later when he came through the room where his father was seated1 he called out cheerily1 ,hi1 ,pop4 ,the cheerful greeting of the son was a sign of the triumphant relationship between father and son1 and1 in the human relationship1 the father was participating in the resurrection of ,jesus ,christ4 ,in other words1 our participation in the life1 death1 and resurrection of ,christ will give us courage1 faith1 and hope4 ,this way of life will not save us from the pain of human living1 nor will it save us from going through dark times of indecision and lack of faith4 ,we shall1 however1 be able to live our lives out of the power of the triumphant life that ,god lived in human life4 ,our worship is yet another way in which we participate in the life1 death1 and resurrection of our ,lord4 ,in worship we bring our lives to the judgment of ,christ's teaching and life1 and these reveal how unequal we are to live ,his life1 and how greatly we need ,his ,spirit to transform our lives4 ,by our confession of our sins we participate in ,his death for us and for our sins1 and the assurance of ,his forgiveness enables us to participate in ,his resurrection so that we may rise to our feet1 make a confident offering of ourselves1 and sing our praises of thanksgiving4 ,the ,christian1 we conclude1 is one in whom the ,spirit of ,christ is incarnate4 ,by the power of the ,spirit he participates in the life of ,christ1 so that the presence of ,christ and ,his ,spirit has contemporary power and meaning in the arena of human relations4 ,the love of ,god is for the world1 and this world-love of ,god should be reflected in the devotion of ,his people to ,his work in the world4 #c #a ,john #d3bj4 #d #a ,john #d3af4 #e ,matt4 #ah3bj4 #f ,luke #ah3aa4 #g ,see #b ,cor4 #e3ag4 #h ,luke #aj3bg4 #i ,rom4 #f3d2 ,see also ,col4 #b3ab4 #aj ,mark #h3ce4 ,,iii ,,herein ,,is ,,love ,beloved1 let us love one another2 for love is of ,god1 and he who loves is born of ,god and knows ,god4--#a ,john #d3g ,thus far1 we have identified the ,christian life as participation in the life of ,christ1 and the ,christian fellowship as the relationship of men who have been reunited to one another by the presence in them of the ,spirit of ,christ4 ,we need to make this concept even more specific and1 therefore1 now ask the question3 ,how does one participate in the life of ,christ2 how does one find the ,spirit2 what must one do8 ,the gospel's answer is3 ,you shall love4#aa ,it has surpassing attraction1 but is also considerably disappointing4 ,love is appealing1 but its practice is appallingly difficult4 ,while the ,christian relationship seems to promise a difference1 it is hard to identify4 ,what makes the difference8 or1 ,what is the ,good ,news8 ,the ,gift of ,god in ,christ ,christians believe that the gift of ,god in ,christ confers something that man needs but has lost4 ,what is it that we do not have that we are supposed to receive as a result of our new relationship with ,christ8 ,let us recall that in our earlier discussion we took note of the ambivalent character of love4 ,we want to be loved and we are afraid to accept love2 we want to love and are afraid to give love for fear it will not be accepted4 ,we are not free to love1 therefore2 that which by nature we cannot have is the freedom to love4 ,we believe that ,god is love4 ,creation is the work of ,his love1 and love is the work of ,his creation4 ,but the ambivalences of human nature keep us from being free in the work of love4 ,the coming of ,christ1 in the midst of history1 changed the balance of power between love and hate1 life and death1 and set us free to love4 ,love became the energizing1 reconciling force in human existence4 ,b4,c4 and ,a4,d4 marked the transition1 not only of time1 but also of the old creation in which our power of love was imprisoned in our fear to love1 and of the new creation in which our power of love was set free by the love of ,god in ,christ4 ,now the triumphant power of ,god's love is at work in the world and is available to all who seek to do the work of love anywhere and for anyone4 ,accordingly1 the work of love was and is the breaking down of walls of separation1 and the reuniting of man and ,god1 man and man1 and man with himself1 in all which work we participate4 ,what ,is ,love8 ,do we know what we mean when we think of love in this way8 ,a clear understanding of love is needed1 because it is so gravely misunderstood in our time4 ,all too commonly1 love is regarded as a sentiment1 a feeling1 a liking for someone4 ,while sentiment and emotion are certainly a part of love1 it is tragic to make them synonymous with love4 ,certainly we mean more than that when we say1 ,god is love1 or when we wrestle with the concept of man showing his love of ,god through his love for his neighbor4 ,in these concepts we are thinking of love as the moving1 creating1 healing power of life2 of love that is the moving power of everything toward everything else that is4#ab ,love reunites life with life1 person with person1 and as such is not easily discouraged4 ,the most dramatic symbol of love's courage and triumph is1 as we have seen1 the cross and the resurrection2 it stands for the love wherewith ,god has loved us4 ,in this is love1 not that we loved ,god but that he loved us4444#ac ,having given us ,his love1 we have it for our response to ,him1 so that we love ,him by loving one another with ,his love which we received through ,his people4 ,thus1 the nurturing of our response to ,god's love is the work of the church4 ,our responsibility is to love ,him4 ,we are to love ,god by loving one another1 and in loving one another we introduce one another to ,god4 ,this is the work of the church and the vocation of the people of ,god4 ,we are called to love one another reunitingly with the love wherewith ,god loved us4 ,in order for us to participate in the love of ,god which is at work in the world1 we need to understand ourselves and our own creaturely problems in relation to love4 ,too much ,christian thought about love and its work is abstract rather than a reckoning with the complications of human existence4 ,in order to avoid this danger1 let us turn to a consideration of what is involved in recovering our freedom to love4 ,recovering ,our ,freedom to ,love ,because we are created in the image of ,god1 our deepest need is to be loved4 ,this need is fundamental and has both human and divine roots4 ,the baby comes into being as a result of being loved4 ,we take him in our arms1 care for him1 call him by name1 and reveal to him the love that we have for him4 ,thus he experiences love4 ,these experiences of love stimulate1 in turn1 his love1 which is the completion of his need of love4 ,his response to being loved is to love1 and this response is not long in coming4 ,we see it in his smiles1 in his cooing1 when he pats his mother's cheek1 when he puts his little arms around her neck1 and later when he begins to toddle and bring his gifts to her4 ,in many ways the individual begins to show that he has been loved by revealing his growing power to love4 ,our day1 however1 seems to be one in which people are more conscious of their need to be loved than of their need to love1 with the result that everyone is running around looking for love4 ,but we do not find love by looking for it2 we find it by giving it4 ,and when we find love by loving1 we find ,god4 ,our ,lord gave us ,his love generously1 not in order that we might be loved1 but that we might be freed to love one another4 ,you received without pay1 give without pay4#ad ,he calls us from our childish preoccupations with security to the appropriate adult occupations of the mature ,christian4 ,he calls us away from our suckling tendencies to our responsibility to feed others1 from receiving to giving4 ,if someone came to me and asked1 ,how can ,i find ,god8 ,i would answer1 ,go find someone to love and you'll find ,him4 ,unless the searcher was love-deprived and in need of reassurance1 ,i would not begin by figuratively putting my arm around him and cherishing him4 ,there are situations where this is necessary4 ,people can be so broken and so hurt that they cannot love1 and they need to be cherished and reassured until they can4 ,one of the responsibilities of the church is to be on the alert for those people who in later life need the love and reassurance they should have had when they were younger4 ,unfortunately1 however1 many of us are embarrassed when we are confronted by emotionally needy persons4 ,we may resent their need and the demand which it makes on us1 with the result that they may never know the love of man and ,god1 and may never be brought to the point where they may participate in the life and work of ,christ which is1 as we have seen1 to love4 ,of course1 it is not easy to love1 especially when we feel unequal to it1 are tempted to regress1 and want to be loved and cuddled ourselves4 ,yet even then the answer to our need is to love4 ,many of us have had experiences that have borne out this truth4 ,once when my son and ,i had had a quarrel in which ,i had lost my temper1 and was feeling discouraged as a father and not at all competent where human relations were concerned1 the phone rang and a young couple asked if they might come and talk with me about the difficulty they were having with their young son4 ,because of my feelings of wretched inadequacy1 my inclination was to say ,no1 but they were so obviously in need of help and so importunate that ,i arranged for them to come to see me immediately4 ,i had no confidence in being able to help them1 but ,i did try to listen to them4 ,as ,i listened1 ,i participated in their thinking about their own situation4 ,when the session was over1 they thanked me enthusiastically for my help4 ,after they were gone1 ,i realised that however much ,i had helped them1 ,i myself had been helped4 ,by accepting my responsibilities as a counselor and by listening to them1 ,i was loving them2 and because ,i loved them1 ,i had the experience of being loved4 ,the relationship in which our love is needed may offer little apparent encouragement1 but once we give ourselves1 the resources for the work of love become available4 ,it is1 therefore1 as important for us to love as it is for us to be loved1 and our need to love is as great as the need to be loved4 ,if we are not able to love1 life is as deficient as it would have been if we had not been loved4 ,we must not assume that because we have been loved we shall automatically become a person who loves4 ,human beings do not develop that automatically4 ,certainly the experience of being loved prepares us to love1 but we can misuse the gifts of love4 ,we may decide to appropriate them for ourselves4 ,we may not want to assume responsibility for others4 ,but having received love and choosing not to love1 we may lose such love as we have4 ,we then become self-centered and selfish misers of love1 and therefore loveless4 ,how can we love our children so that they will become givers of love rather than hoarders of it8 ,how can the freedom and power to love be released in them8 ,the answer is1 by encouraging their love responses4 ,we have already recognized the importance1 first1 of the need to be loved1 and second1 of the need to love4 ,we now face the importance of our being able to accept love and of encouraging the attempts of people1 and especially of our children1 to express their love4 ,we might assume that it is easy to welcome their responses4 ,unfortunately1 our expressions of love do not always please those to whom we make them4 ,because our love offerings are not appreciated and accepted1 we may feel unloved and rejected4 ,after repeated attempts to express our love successfully1 and having been repeatedly rejected and discouraged1 we may give up and turn our love in on ourselves4 ,a rose gardener told me of an instance that illustrates how difficult it is to accept some love offerings4 ,he not only grew roses1 but exhibited them as well4 ,on one occasion1 he had several blooms that he was nurturing for a coming show1 one of which was being produced on a bush of his favorite variety4 ,on the day before the exhibit his four-year-old son appeared before him with ecstatic face and with his prize rose clutched stemless in his hand1 saying1 ,look ,daddy1 what ,i brought you4 ,it was obvious that the youngster1 who adored his father1 thought that he was presenting the perfect gift of his love1 because he knew how much his father liked that particular rose4 ,the father1 on the other hand1 confessed that he responded as the rose grower and exhibitor1 rather than as one who had an opportunity to encourage his son's love responses by recognizing1 from his son's point of view1 the appropriateness of the gift4 ,when1 therefore1 he very understandably scolded and spanked his child for picking the rose1 the little boy was dreadfully upset4 ,episodes of this kind1 if only occasional1 are not serious1 because they are experienced in the context of a relationship that is predominantly loving1 supportive1 and encouraging4 ,when the expressions of love and affection of children are not received with understanding and acceptance1 their attempts to learn to love find no encouragement4 ,because they are being prevented from learning to love their parents and others1 they are being prevented also from learning to love ,god in and through them4 ,our ,lord's response to the gifts brought to ,him demonstrates the kind of responses we should make to one another4 ,even when people's gifts were poorly motivated and ill-chosen1 ,he was able to look behind them and see and understand the person who gave4 ,although ,zacchaeus seemed to be motivated only by curiosity1 our ,lord invited him to come down out of the tree and asked that ,he might have dinner with him1 thus moving behind the greed that had made ,zacchaeus a publican4#ae ,and because our ,lord was able to accept the gift of ,mary ,magdalene1 her true love was called forth4#af ,so it is with us4 ,our offerings often are pitiful and ill-chosen1 but ,he looks upon the heart and sees there that really we are trying to express our love despite our ill-chosen means of doing so4 ,if we are to participate in the life of ,christ and be the instruments of ,his love1 we must learn to be hospitable to one another's efforts to express love4 ,parents need to look upon the hearts of their children and see deeply what they are trying to express4 ,husbands and wives likewise need to look behind the externals of behavior4 ,what we do on the outside often fails to represent truly and adequately what is on the inside4 ,we all need encouragement to love1 and hospitality toward human attempts to express love is one of the surest ways in which we can participate in the contemporary living of ,christ in the world4 ,some ,disciplines of ,love ,now there are some disciplines that we need to follow as we engage in the dialogue of love4 ,first1 there is the discipline of giving oneself4 ,it is the discipline of keeping oneself responsible for and to one another1 responsible in facing issues and in making decisions4 ,the only way to love is to communicate love by word and action4 ,we may learn to use our power of being to speak and act the word of love4 ,we should refuse to withhold it for any reason1 including our fear of speaking it4 ,of course1 there is risk in giving ourselves4 ,our gift of love may not be accepted1 may not be appreciated1 and may even be exploited4 ,in giving love we may be hurt because of the nature of others' responses4 ,but we will be stronger for having given it1 and others may be called forth by it4 ,life cannot remain the same when love has been expressed4 ,second1 there is the discipline of holding ourselves to our own part4 ,this is the discipline of allowing others to speak for themselves2 or again1 the discipline of refraining from trying to carry on both sides of a dialogue4 ,we are always doing this2 that is1 we speak to the image we have of the other person4 ,we try to anticipate his response and take away his freedom to respond and speak for himself4 ,we choose our part of the dialogue in response to what we think his reaction will be and thereby rob ourselves of our freedom to be4 ,there can be no communication between the images which two people hold of each other4 ,communication is possible only between two persons who1 out of mutual respect1 really address one another4 ,a third discipline is to accept the demand in love and our obligation to meet that demand4 ,the compulsive element in love is hard for us to accept4 ,but we cannot separate law from love4 ,law is implicit in love4 ,our ,lord1 ,who is the incarnation of divine love1 warned that ,he would not remove one bit of the law4 ,he did not destroy the law1 but by ,his love fulfilled it4 ,it is really good that law is a part of love4 ,our own love relationships benefit from the presence of law in love1 because law guides and protects our relationship4 ,when we are in love1 or in union with one another1 we are not conscious of the law1 but it is implicitly present4 ,we can be said to be living above the law4 ,the law that is implicit in the relationship between a man and a woman who love each other is that they shall respect and act trustworthily in relation to one another2 that they shall care for one another in all the ways that are necessary to their relationship4 ,as long as love prevails1 they are not conscious of this law4 ,they do not need it4 ,but if for any reason they should fall out of love1 then they become conscious of their obligations to each other4 ,their relationship is now lived under the burden of law1 and they will find it harder to observe than they did before4 ,they now are being held together by their obligations1 and it may be that while being thus held together they will again find each other in love4 ,when they look back on this period some years later1 they may call the whole experience love1 because then they will see that the obligations of their relationship are a part of their love4 ,obviously1 this is mature and not infantile love4 ,love that accepts responsibility and its obligations is love that is not primarily concerned about its privileges1 although it gives thanks for whatever privileges it has4 ,it recognizes itself not primarily as an emotion1 but as a way of life2 and it is more concerned about commitment than sensation4 ,by the employment of these principles that we have just rehearsed1 we can help our children grow in their capacity to love and thereby become more capable of a heroic commitment to one another4 ,this kind of commitment should characterize the members of the ,christian fellowship1 the men and women in whose lives the ,spirit of the ,christ is incarnate4 ,we have seen that we need to be loved in order that we may love others and that we should encourage one another's love responses4 ,does this mean that our attempts to express love should be accepted without correction8 ,what should the rose-growing father of the little boy have done8 ,one view is that the father should have accepted the gift with thanks1 recognizing only the child's intention4 ,certainly1 his intentions should be honored and his gift accepted4 ,but the boy also needed help in learning how to express his love to others4 ,here is something we are always having to learn4 ,all of us have had the experience of doing or giving something that was intended to be an expression of our love1 only to discover that the gift was not appreciated by the one to whom it was given1 and we find ourselves saying1 ,oh1 ,i didn't mean it to be that way4 ,with children and with one another we need to strike a balance between acceptance of the intention and guidance in choosing the means for the expression of love4 ,loving is an art1 and we all need to learn the art and to refine its practice4 ,one would expect ,christians and church people1 who are supposed to be incarnations of the spirit of love1 to be masters of the art4 ,yet1 to the world1 we often appear to be ungracious people4 ,so let us learn to love one another1 and let us train our children in the practice of the art of love1 by encouraging and disciplining them in it4 ,if a text for this responsibility were needed1 we might take it from the ancient liturgical language of the church in which we say1 ,we receive this person into the congregation of ,christ's flock1 which should mean that we receive the person into the congregation of persons in whom the love of ,christ is incarnate4 ,the ,language of ,words and ,life ,unfortunately1 however1 we often use the words that suggest the right meaning but fail to carry out that meaning in our lives4 ,all too easily our religious statements become empty forms1 separated from the vitality and meaning which they are supposed to express4 ,remember1 for instance1 how vainly we sometimes say the ,lord's ,prayer1 which is a form that our ,lord gave us1 by means of which we could express the vitality of our relationship with ,god and one another4 ,likewise1 we can honor and use the correct verbal and other symbols about the church and ,christian fellowship1 its rites and ceremonies1 and yet fail to translate them into action1 with the result that our rites and ceremonies and doctrinal statements become dry1 empty forms4 ,instead of being the means of new life1 they may only disappoint people1 because they do not really communicate the meaning that they seem to promise4 ,every church should always test whether its forms are really expressive of the truth which it professes4 ,it is not enough that we speak the truth2 we must live it4 ,it has been given to men to communicate both by word and by the life that is lived4 ,there must always be a vital relation between the meaning that is being communicated in the word and the form or means of its communication4 ,the breakdown of education and of religion occurs when there is a breakdown between the human experience with its meaning and the word which represents it4 ,this breakdown is complete when speaking the word becomes a substitute for living its meaning4 ,this breakdown also occurs when a culture undertakes to educate by means of words and concepts only1 and neglects to employ what happens between man and man as an integral and indispensable part of the curriculum4 ,the word and the meaning of the experience belong to each other and need each other1 and the relation between them is a necessary part of education4 ,let us use the word fight as an illustration4 ,we have this word because of man's experience in fighting4 ,out of the relationships of conflict and combat comes the experience we think of as fighting1 and the word fight stands for it4 ,the very young child learns to fight before he learns the word fight4 ,so far as he knows1 the experience of fighting exists only between himself and his mother1 and it is necessary for him to discover that fighting is a universal human activity4 ,he learns the meaning of the word fight by the meanings that he brings out of his own combat1 and on the basis of these he begins to understand the universal meaning of fight4 ,the word thus unites his little1 individual experience with the experience of the human race of which he is a part4 ,therefore the word becomes an effective instrument in teaching him the meaning of his experience in the context of the experience of his own kind4 ,similarly1 because of his relationship to his mother1 the child may experience her trustworthiness long before he knows the word trust1 but he needs a word for this experience4 ,then1 as he begins to acquire the ability to convey these meanings with words1 he learns the word trust and immediately the door opens so that his experience becomes related to the much larger experience of the people that have lived before him4 ,if a child is being brought up in the ,christian fellowship1 the minute he begins to have a word to describe the trustworthiness of his relationship with his mother1 he also begins to understand the meaning of trust as ,christians have experienced it in relation to ,god4 ,on the other hand1 it is difficult to convey the meaning of ,christ's death to a child4 ,here the words are crucial to the understanding of the meaning1 but he cannot bring out of his own life sufficient experiences to make the meaning of the concept available to him4 ,but it is important to introduce him to these concepts by means of words against the time when the words will carry meaning4 ,as we live with our children we help them interpret the meaning of their experiences4 ,some day they will be able to move from the little meanings that they have accumulated about life and death to the great meanings of the life and death and resurrection of ,christ by means of the little word cross and other associated words4 ,education requires the use of both the language of words and the language of relationships4 ,we teach children the words of our faith1 but at the same time we try to live with them in ways that will provide the meanings that will prepare them for understanding the meanings of the faith4 ,and this is what ,i mean when ,i suggest that what happens between us is an indispensable part of the curriculum4 ,the ,curriculum of ,relationship ,this emphasis upon the relationship between parent and child1 between teacher and pupil1 between person and person1 as a part of the learning situation1 seems to put a heavy burden upon the teacher4 ,after all1 it was difficult enough when the teacher had to be responsible for the correct words for the transmission of the truth1 and for the understandings that must go with them4 ,now1 in addition1 we have to pay attention to what is going on between teacher and pupil4 ,the work of teaching is much bigger than mere verbal transmission1 and nothing less is worthy of being called ,christian teaching4 ,this kind of teaching requires that the truth being taught be incarnate in the relationship between men1 which was what ,god did in ,christ4 ,the teaching of ,christ is contained not only in ,his words1 but also in ,his life4 ,his life gave meaning to ,his words and made them uniquely different from any other words that had ever been spoken4 ,actually1 many of the things that our ,lord taught were not new1 but ,his life was1 and this made ,his teaching unique4 ,the same principle must apply to us4 ,some instruction given in the name of ,christian education is dull1 monotonous1 and irrelevant4 ,there is nothing untrue about it1 but it is taught without the conviction born of experience1 and it is not expressed in what goes on between man and man4 ,on the other hand1 a recognition of the responsibilities of this kind of teaching should be coupled with the joys and satisfactions of it4 ,it is the kind of teaching that can relieve us of some of the anxieties of accomplishment4 ,a ,word of ,encouragement ,many parents and teachers are concerned about the quality of the care and teaching which they give children1 and they are particularly worried about their failures and sins in relation to them4 ,present in many of us is the fear that we may have permanently impaired the future welfare of those for whom we are responsible4 ,this leads us to try to be perfect in the discharge of our duties and thus prevent serious injury to our children4 ,in other words1 we would like to love them perfectly1 which1 if we were able to do1 would ill prepare them for their life in this world4 ,furthermore1 and more importantly1 implicit in this anxiety is a grave misconception of what it means to be a ,christian4 ,the test of our love and faith is not the absence of failure and sin and problems1 but lies in what we are able to do about them4 ,of course1 ,christian parents get angry with their children and say and do things that hurt them4 ,we are haunted by the signs in our children that we have failed them1 by the evidences of their anxiety1 by the problems they sometimes have in relation to other people1 by their lying and stealing1 by their hostility and quarrelsomeness1 and by their excessive competitiveness and jealousy4 ,sometimes the scenes around the family table are far different from our image of what ,christian family life and fellowship should be4 ,we wonder where we have failed1 grow discouraged1 and fail again4 ,we are embarrassed by the contradiction that our children see between the things that we say and the things that we do4 ,parents and teachers who1 like ,mrs4 ,strait1 live by the law1 either have to blind themselves to what's going on in their relationships or else become profoundly discouraged4 ,and if we are like ,mr4 ,churchill1 our decision will be to ignore human problems and to turn ourselves to a devotion of ,god1 as if that were possible6 ,dr4 ,manby would wait for time to take care of the matter1 and ,mr4 ,knowles would frantically cram more knowledge about the ,bible into the minds of parents and children in the hope that1 somehow or other1 knowing about ,god and ,christian teaching would produce the necessary changes4 ,mr4 ,clarke1 of course1 would turn the whole mess over to the clergy4 ,implicit in the situations we have been discussing is a concept of success1 the assumption being that if we love ,god and our neighbor everything we do will turn out all right4 ,my grandfather always maintained that his business prospered because he kept the laws of ,god4 ,when we stop to think about it1 we realize what a faulty concept this is4 ,after all1 it was not easy for ,christ to accomplish the purposes of love in this world1 and there is no reason why it should be any easier for us4 ,it is not easy to maintain the dialogue of life2 it is not easy to call forth the being of others2 it is not easy to regain the freedom to love even when we respond to the spirit of love4 ,we recognize the credibility and promise of all these principles1 but wonder at the difficulty of their application4 ,the ,work of ,love ,we need to remember that even ,god1 with all of ,his power and wisdom1 does not give ,his love to us in ways that take away our freedom of response4 ,he leaves us free to say ,yes or ,no to ,him1 to love1 to our families1 and to all the responsibilities of life4 ,this means1 as we saw earlier1 that we are to speak the word of love and leave the other person free to make his response4 ,we cannot expect a guaranteed response from him4 ,we cannot prevent him from making a wrong response any more than we can make him give the right response4 ,our children are free1 and we must respect that freedom4 ,this is why the achievement of a love relationship is so exceedingly difficult4 ,in the achievement of any relationship we are involved in a life-and-death struggle4 ,our children1 for instance1 want our love1 care1 and protection4 ,at the same time1 they want to be their own selves and to assume responsibility for their own lives4 ,they can and do resent1 with devastating hostility1 action on our part that looks to them like interference with their lives4 ,on the other hand1 we love them and feel that we cannot do enough for them4 ,the effect of our zeal often is to overwhelm them with our care and deprive them of the freedom in which to achieve their power of being4 ,inevitably1 then1 the living dialogue between the parent and the child is both a happy and a troubled one in which the powers of love and resentment are exerted on both sides4 ,the struggle between freedom and tyranny in human relations is understood in the struggle of the cross1 which takes place in every individual and in every relationship4 ,the actualization of ourselves in relation to one another is both difficult and painful4 ,it is hard to understand how anybody could ever think it was easy4 ,the struggle calls for a love that is prepared to lay down its life for its friends4 ,the entrance of love into life brings1 sometimes1 not peace but a sword4 ,tension and conflict may accompany the work of love4 ,the conflict between the love of ,god and the self-centeredness of man produces an ugly1 rugged1 and bloody struggle1 which the crucifixion summarized4 ,the ,power of ,love ,the good news of the gospel is not that a way has been given us by which to avoid conflict1 but that the power of love has been given us for the conflict4 ,with it we can enter into the shambles of life with assurance1 courage1 and a belief that1 even though we cannot always understand what is going on1 the purpose of love is to reunite man and man1 and that in ,christ ,god's love won the initial victory in this process4 ,we may1 therefore1 participate in the life of the world with all of its conflicts1 including our own personal conflicts1 with faith in the power of reuniting love4 ,we should not be surprised when we find ourselves embroiled in conflict and involved in complex situations4 ,our faith is not in our ability to do right1 but in the power of ,god to help us re-enter the difficult and unpleasant situations we have created with new hope and with healing love4 ,we may be thankful that ,god revealed ,himself through a cross and1 therefore1 made clear how realistic ,he is in relation to the characteristics and conditions of human existence4 ,the power of love is liberating4 ,it frees us so that we can use what happens between us as a part of the curriculum of ,christian living and learning4 ,instead of wasting our time worrying about why things happen1 we can use our energies and our understandings to deal with them constructively4 ,the purpose of ,christianity is not alone the prevention of crime1 but the redemption of criminals2 not alone the prevention of sin1 but the saving of sinners4 ,the great ,christian word is redemption1 which means transforming a destructive relationship into one in which the conditions and purposes of love are realized4 ,let us remember that fine linen paper is made out of old dirty rags4 ,similarly1 a wonderful ,christian relationship can be formed out of one that seems tragic4 ,as we have seen1 the test of a man is not in what happens to him1 but in what he does about what happens to him4 ,the transformation of what happens in human relations is the work of the ,holy ,spirit1 continuing the work that was begun in ,christ4 ,the ,spirit gives the gift of reconciling love with which we may participate in the continuing work of ,christ1 which is the redemption and transformation of life4 ,so in the context of this love we can relax while we also exercise our care4 ,love and ,sin ,the power of love over sin is widely recognized4 ,in the first place1 there is no judgment like the judgment implicit in love4 ,the face of love is compassionate1 but it gives a light that reveals the darkness of our hearts4 ,we know that we are judged1 but we know also that we are not condemned4 ,the judgment and the forgiveness come to us as a part of the communication of love4 ,have we not felt this as we stood in the presence of someone whose love was true8 ,we wished to be rid of everything in us that was unworthy of that love4 ,in that same instant there may have welled up within us a repentance and a determination to live in response to that purifying1 reuniting love4 ,such is our experience when the ,spirit of ,christ brings us face to face with ,him and ,his love4 ,to be loved is to be illumined1 purified1 and transformed1 because love has the power of re-creation4 ,parents and others who are conscious of their failures and sins in relation to their loved ones should remember that human beings are fundamentally resilient and resourceful4 ,children's springs of life and vitality are powerful4 ,their need to affirm themselves as persons is undeniable1 and any experience of love that they have is reinforcing4 ,experiences of unlove are to them unbelievable and point1 fundamentally and finally1 to the necessity and believability of love4 ,while our children are dependent upon us for their personal environment in which to grow up1 they bring powers and resources to their growing up which are independent of us4 ,they bring something to the dialogue in which self-actualization occurs4 ,their part of the dialogue is just as important and indispensable as ours4 ,we cannot live their lives for them4 ,they have to live their own lives1 and our part is to live in relation to them and contribute our assistance to their powers of becoming4 ,parents and teachers are not the only ones who influence their children4 ,we live in a society in which different people have different roles to play in relation to everyone else4 ,we should not measure the progress of a child only by how we see him or by what we think he is receiving from us4 ,our impression of the child's progress may be mistaken4 ,we may not be able to know him as he is1 nor know what others are contributing4 ,and1 least of all1 can we know the total effect of all his relationships on what he is becoming as a person4 ,our anxieties about a particular incident may exist because we fail to see it in its total context4 ,much happens in the development of a person's life that we do not see1 and much of the transformation occurs secretly at levels so deep that we cannot observe it4 ,although we may not see what is happening1 we may be sure that something is4 ,in the sphere of the personal we need to trust both ,god and man1 and if we trust ,god we can trust man4 ,we then may take a long view of our task1 and teach and work and live by faith4 ,this is what it should mean to be a ,christian and a member of the church of ,christ4 ,what a wonderful thing it is to belong to a fellowship that is made up of people who may be united by the ,spirit of ,god and through whom we believe that ,god works6 ,what a comfort it is to know that we do not have to do and believe everything ourselves6 ,not only do we not have to live and believe and love for ourselves1 but others live and believe and love for us at times when we cannot4 ,but let us also remember that we have to live and believe and love for them when weakness or doubt or hostility seems to overwhelm them4 ,this is the meaning of ,christian fellowship2 namely1 that we are not an aggregation of individuals1 but instead are members of one body1 with every member having his own function1 and the function of every member standing in a complementary relation to that of the others1 of which body ,christ is the head4 ,here is the source of the love about which we have been speaking and the process through which love is lived in the life of the world that ,god loves4 #aa ,luke #aj3bg4 #ab ,from ,love1 ,power and ,justice1 by ,paul ,tillich1 ,oxford ,university ,press1 ,copyright1 #aied4 ,used by permission4 #ac #a ,john #d3aj4 ,the title of this book was suggested by the familiar opening words of this verse in the ,king ,james ,version1 ,herein is love4444 #ad ,matt4 #aj3h4 #ae ,see ,luke #ai3b ff4 #af ,see ,luke #g3cg ff4 ,,iv ,,some ,,objectives ,,of ,,love ,little children1 let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth4--#a ,john #c3ah ,the objective of love1 as we have seen1 is to move everything to everything else that is1 especially to reunite person to person4 ,this is an identifying characteristic of the love of ,god1 and it is to some degree the characteristic of all love4 ,we believe that this love was incarnate in ,jesus ,christ4 ,we believe that ,his ,spirit1 active in the world in which we live1 seeks to incarnate this love in us here and now4 ,furthermore1 we have identified some more general characteristics of love4 ,now we turn to look at some of the ways in which love accomplishes its purpose1 a purpose which is the responsibility of the church in its dispersion in the life of the world4 ,love's ,sphere ,is ,personal ,the sphere of love's action is in the realm of the personal2 it acts in and through relationships4 ,the process by which the person emerges is both wonderful and fearful1 and one for which we should have reverence1 the zeal to understand1 and the willingness to be responsible for4 ,certain specific things need to be accomplished which are the work of love1 which we have already identified as the calling forth of persons4 ,in this work of love we participate in the reconciling work of ,god in ,christ today4 ,let us remember also that children first experience the love of ,god through their experience of their parents' love1 and that parents in loving their children are loving ,god1 since we love ,god by loving one another4 ,how else can we love ,god than by loving one another8 ,with this understanding of the context in which we live and work and serve one another1 let us turn our attention to how love's task is accomplished4 ,first1 however1 a word about what that task is not4 ,the objective of love is not to create or nurture a so-called normal human being4 ,in the first place1 there is no universal concept of the normal1 and the criterion of normality varies from age to age and from culture to culture4 ,all men have problems and always will have them4 ,the pursuit of perfection is a perilous project that may cause all kinds of imperfections and will inevitably produce disillusionment4 ,adjustment cannot be the goal of ,christian living and the objective of love4 ,the clam is adjusted about as well as any of ,god's creatures1 but has very little to offer beyond a passive role in a bowl of soup4 ,instead of striving to mold a person completely adjusted to his surroundings1 love seeks to nurture a person who is capable of maintaining a creative tension between his need and his responsibility1 between the vitality of spirit and the form of being4 ,and1 according to tests1 such creative people often are classified as not normal and not well adjusted4 ,nor is the pursuit of happiness the objective of love4 ,happiness for human beings is a forlorn hope4 ,because of conflicts within himself and between himself and others1 man is doomed to be unhappy most of the time4 ,he is always having to deal with the inevitable conflicts and accidents of life that give him a sense of vulnerability1 both as an individual and as a member of his tribe1 nation1 or race4 ,instead1 the objective of love is to provide the human being with resources1 by means of which he may face his human existence with courage and with a sense of peace that passes understanding4 ,it now remains for us to spell this out in human terms4 ,dialogue ,between ,individual and ,environment ,when the human being is born1 he leaves the biological exchange of the womb for the social exchange system of his society1 where his gradually increasing capacities meet the opportunities and limitations of his culture4 ,the appearance of the person1 therefore1 results from the dialogue between himself and his environment1 between his growing1 autonomous self and the directing community upon which he is dependent4 ,this dialogue between the individual and his environment often has1 as we have seen1 the characteristics of a conflict4 ,the individual challenges and makes demands of his family1 and the family challenges and makes demands of the child4 ,each wrestles with the problems of trust in relation to the other1 each wrestles for autonomy that is equal to the domination of the other1 each strives for the initiative and industriously competes with the other1 and each seeks an identity that may either exclude or include the other4 ,the quality of the life of the individual and of the social order depends upon the results of the dialogue between them4 ,i am thinking of two families4 ,in one1 the parents helped their children work through their difficulties with each other1 thus assuming dialogical responsibility for what happened between them4 ,in late teenhood1 each child in turn became a person in his own right who had achieved a relatively mature1 congenial1 and loving relation with every other member of the family4 ,in the second family1 the parents could not face the conflicts inevitable to human nature in a growing family1 and pretended a quality of relationship that did not exist between them4 ,when their children became late teen-agers and older1 a smoldering antagonism existed between them which occasionally broke out in venomous quarrels4 ,the parents of this second family had not assumed dialogical responsibility for the content of their family life1 with the result that the interaction between the growing person and his environment was not creative4 ,the process of unfolding patterns1 of decisions made in response to crises1 of frustrations and achievements in living1 are also the human content for religious development1 and provide opportunities for both conversion and nurture4 ,the development of a person is religiously significant1 and the events in his life have ultimate meaning4 ,we may think of them in only psychological and sociological dimensions1 but their meaning also is theological and religious4 ,as we weave our intricate way through the years of our lives1 approaching and withdrawing1 attacking and retreating1 victorious and beaten1 decisive and uncertain1 being loved and being resented1 loving and hating1 and sometimes gladly and sometimes reluctantly participating in the dialogue between ourselves and our environment of influential persons1 we may ask ourselves this question3 ,what contributes to our emergence as responsible1 resourceful persons8 ,as participants in the dialogue between our children and ourselves1 for example1 we should like to know the kind of address and response we should make that would call them forth as persons who will be responsible and helpful in relation to their dependents1 peers1 and superiors2 and enable us1 through them1 to love and serve ,god4 ,how can we so participate with them in living that there will be called forth in them a courage that will dare the risks of creativity and acquire the freedom to love8 ,the dialogue between the individual and life is initiated by the basic question that is implicit in our being1 and becomes explicit as our capacities as persons increase4 ,the basic question is3 ,who am ,i81 and associated with it is its partner question3 ,who are you8 ,these two questions have to be asked together almost as if they were one question1 because there is no answer to the question3 ,who am ,i81 except as there is an answer to the question3 ,who are you8 ,and this twofold question is not only asked implicitly by the newborn baby1 but explicitly by his parents1 whose own dialogue with the baby involves asking and receiving answers to ,who are you8 and ,who am ,i8 because the relationship is one in which the child also may call forth the parent as a person4 ,this basic twofold question is one which we all continue to ask all through our lives in many different ways4 ,we must not associate question-asking exclusively with verbalization4 ,obviously1 the baby cannot ask his mother in words who she is4 ,he does it by his actions1 by his random movements1 by his crying1 by his protests1 by his exploring hands and eyes1 by his mouth4 ,and the mother does not give reply to his question by word only1 but by her actions2 by her feeding and care of him1 by her neglect1 by her joy in him and her irritation because of him1 by her coming to him and by her unexplained departures from him4 ,all her actions are a language by which she tells her child who she is in response to the questions implicit in his actions4 ,and her answer to him as to who she is gives him the beginning of an answer to his question as to who he is4 ,thus1 the dialogue between mother and child1 which is largely nonverbal1 tells him that his mother is one who in some ways loves him and in others does not1 and tells him also that he is one who in some ways is loved and in other ways is not4 ,out of this interchange emerges his manner of response which may become his style of living and loving4 ,but we need to remember that his characteristics as a person are not wholly determined by the action of his environment1 because they also are determined by who he is within himself as a unique being4 ,his inheritance provides him a given quality and capacity4 ,therefore1 the dialogue is to be understood also as a dialogue between heredity and environment in which his experience of love releases his power of being4 ,sense of ,trust ,the first objective of love to be accomplished out of the dialogue between the individual and the world is the awakening in him of a sense of basic trust4 ,trust toward oneself and toward others is acquired to some degree during the first year4 ,i have discussed this at some length in an earlier book1 ,man's ,need and ,god's ,action1#ag and here1 as well as there1 ,i acknowledge my indebtedness to the work of ,erik ,erikson4#ah ,in this chapter ,i shall discuss the other senses that he identifies as necessary acquisitions of the growing personality4 ,perhaps the greatest contribution to the achievement of basic trust is through the experience of being fed4 ,the experience of being fed regularly and responsibly causes the child to respond with trust1 and he learns to have faith long before he knows the word for it4 ,later1 at the appropriate time he acquires the word faith to point to the meaning of his trust experiences4 ,if1 still later1 he allows the words to take the place of the substance of his faith1 they will become empty words4 ,responsible parents and teachers seek to combine the right word with their action so that the meaning of the child's experiences is correlated with the words for them4 ,a mature correlation between word and experience is one in which the child has the experience of finding people both trustworthy and untrustworthy1 and has been helped to deal with the untrustworthiness in the context of trust4 ,his first experience1 therefore1 is a realistic one in which he is strengthened by his experiences of trust1 and is not made too anxious by his experiences of the inevitable failures of his loved ones to take care of him perfectly4 ,the child's experience of trust and mistrust contains the first meanings for his ,christian education4 ,the care of the ,divine ,father is expressed in and through the care of his earthly parents4 ,his response to the care of his earthly parents is his response to his ,divine ,father4 ,this needs to be interpreted to the child as he grows up1 so that he will accept and believe in the participating presence of ,god in human life4 ,an obstacle in the way of this achievement occurs when people separate ,god from life and make ,him a kind of absentee operator of the machine called the world4 ,it then is necessary for the child to make a huge leap from his trust of his parents to faith in ,god4 ,while we cannot equate parental action with divine action1 nevertheless we can affirm that divine action takes place through human action4 ,when such an affirmation is made and accepted as a part of the parents' faith and is interpreted to the child as he is able to receive it1 he is helped to grow up with a religious understanding of life itself1 rather than conceiving of religion as being merely a part of life4 ,he will grow up with the idea that being trustworthy and trusting others has not only psychological and sociological meaning1 but also theological meaning4 ,a sense of trust is basic1 because without it the further development of the individual would not be possible4 ,its foundations are laid in the very first year of an individual's life4 ,the act of taking from his mother not just food1 but her ministrations1 her companionship and friendliness1 is the beginning of his emergence as an individual apart from his parents4 ,as he becomes an individual person1 he immediately begins to be a giver as well as a taker4 ,giving1 as well as receiving1 must become a part of the dialogical relation between two individuals1 whether between a child and the parent1 or between two adults4 ,as soon as a child begins to become a giver1 the parent must consent to be a receiver of that which the child has to give1 and thus1 again1 is a relationship of basic trust established4 ,without parental reception the child would not be affirmed as a giver1 and would1 out of his mistrust1 become a compulsive taker1 a result that is tragic not only psychologically and sociologically1 but religiously as well4 ,he will not be able to trust ,god2 but because he needs to trust ,god1 he will begin to create images of ,god in the context of which he will try to handle his existential problems4 ,thus1 the foundations of a false religion may be laid in early childhood1 and this false religion1 as it matures1 closes the person off from the truth of the gospel and keeps him from becoming an instrument of the gospel in relation to the whole world4 ,the church is filled with people who do not really trust ,god1 even though they publicly profess their faith in ,him4 ,these people1 like ,mr4 ,clarke1 ,mrs4 ,strait1 and the others1 live timidly4 ,we must not conclude that the establishment of basic trust concerns only infants4 ,the balance between trust and mistrust is something that concerns us all our days1 and the question is raised acutely again every time we face a danger in the circumstances of our lives4 ,i have observed that when people come together in a new group relationship1 their basic questions1 ,who am ,i8 and ,who are you81 are reactivated4 ,significant communication between them does not take place until some relationship of trust is established on the basis of satisfactory answers4 ,our initial asking of these questions in infancy is1 to some degree1 repeated at subsequent times in our lives4 ,they are repeated in times of marriage1 bereavement1 retirement1 death1 or in my personal crisis2 and also when we face the threat of war or the possibility of interplanetary existence1 or in any economic1 social1 or political crisis4 ,needed at these times of threat are relationships with sufficient power to enable us to participate in the dialogue out of which will come the answers to our questions4 ,the objective of love is to provide the relationship of love for a world that1 again and again1 and in an infinite variety of ways1 asks the basic questions3 ,who am ,i8 and ,who are you8 ,how wonderful it is to participate in the answer to the basic questions6 ,mothers1 for instance1 who tend to lose the sense of purpose in the minutiae of their responsibilities1 could be helped to realize how profoundly important is the care they give their children4 ,the way in which they feed and care for their families may be1 if they opened themselves to the presence and action of ,god in human life1 the means of their child's union with man and ,god4 ,as we try to meet the physical and emotional needs of children1 and travel with them through the various crises of life in which we both participate1 we may have the reassurance that we are doing a great work1 the full meaning of which we may not be able to see at the moment4 ,furthermore1 we may be reassured that we are participating in the work of ,god in the world and engaged in the true ministry of the church in the world4 ,when there is this living that awakens and renews trust1 the formal teaching and religious observances of the church both receive and give additional meaning4 ,sense of ,autonomy ,the second objective of love is the achievement of a sense of autonomy4 ,we said earlier that as the child begins to take that which is given to him1 he begins to distinguish between himself and others1 and thereby to become a separate person4 ,in so doing1 he begins to achieve some degree of autonomy as an independent person4 ,this second task is made easier for him1 if he is able to approach it with a sense of trust4 ,the need for a sense of trust in the achievement of autonomy becomes apparent once we recognize what this second task involves4 ,it introduces the child into a conflict of interests4 ,on the one hand1 he needs the constant care1 supervision1 and love of his parents2 and on the other hand1 he needs to assert his own will and stand over against his parents as a separate person4 ,he both needs to be a part of the mother and distinct from her4 ,the conflict between these needs increases as the individual becomes a person4 ,this process1 however1 often results in a warfare of unequal wills between the child and the parent4 ,the child himself is capable of violent drives which frighten him and which he is unable to control2 and the parent can be provoked to emotional responses that escape his control and are frightening4 ,the relationship between them1 therefore1 may become one in which each is seeking to dominate and control the other4 ,this pattern occurs in all relationships and is often observed in marriage1 where1 by various kinds of behavior1 each partner seeks to control the other4 ,the muscular mechanism basic to the achievement of autonomy is the mechanism of holding on and letting go4 ,by the employment of it1 the individual begins to be aware of his powers as a separate person4 ,awareness of these powers and of the possibilities inherent in them precipitates the struggle between him and others4 ,a child can be very pliable or very stubborn in his holding on or letting go1 and it is not long before parents discover that they cannot make a child do something that he will not do4 ,at this point1 the parent's own maturity in the employment of the same mechanisms will determine how he will respond to the child's stubborn and often hostile efforts to achieve autonomy4 ,as people mature1 the holding-on and letting-go tension is transferred from the muscular to the emotional and psychological4 ,if adults have achieved a relaxed attitude1 they will be able to provide the child with firmness1 and at the same time allow him some freedom in determining his own action4 ,an environment of freedom and authority will help him achieve a balance between love and hate1 co-operation and willfulness4 ,an early sense of trust1 we see1 is necessary for the development of autonomy4 ,without trust the child will not feel free to struggle1 as he must1 for its achievement4 ,he will not feel free1 because he does not have faith either in himself or in his world1 in relation to which he must struggle4 ,the objective of love1 therefore1 is to provide a relationship of firmness and tolerance within which a child may become autonomous and acquire a sense of self-control1 self-esteem1 and relationship with others4 ,otherwise he may suffer loss of confidence in himself and become skeptical of others1 a result which can be the fruit of either restrictive discipline or unstructured freedom4 ,the achievement of a sense of autonomy must always remain relative1 and will vary from individual to individual4 ,as we have seen1 there is no fixed norm for human behavior1 and the best sense of autonomy that anyone can possibly achieve is one in which there is a mixture of co-operation and willfulness1 of love and hostility4 ,we can only hope and pray that as we all mature our autonomy will be employed with creative good will1 and that it will be capable of dealing with the results of our hostility and stubbornness4 ,although our sense of autonomy appears during our second and third year of life1 its further development depends upon our relationship with others4 ,furthermore1 its employment has other arenas than that of family life4 ,the dialogue from which autonomy grows moves out of family and into the neighborhood4 ,it is quickened and disciplined by entrance into school1 is heated and tempered by the development of social life1 especially by the dialogue between the sexes when the need to surrender oneself to the other meets the needs of each to be oneself4 ,finally1 the autonomy of the individual is sure to be challenged by the complexities and organization of modern industrial society4 ,more and more the individual is being caught in the intricacies of a process in which his sense of autonomy and initiative is violated4 ,the problems of the social order are so massive that the interests of the individual often are sacrificed4 ,increasingly1 people are unable to endure the frustrations caused by their social1 political1 and industrial environment1 and develop neurotic responses in which their aggressions are turned in on themselves4 ,the autonomy and initiative that once belonged to the individual have been transferred to the social order1 with the result that instead of individuals receiving their direction from within1 they now receive it from without1 with the inevitable demand for conformity1 in which the integrity of the individual is apt to be sacrificed4 ,every time he turns on his radio or television set1 his autonomy is assaulted by all kinds of pressures4 ,this condition presents education and religion with peculiar challenges4 ,in order to minister to the world1 it is necessary that one participate in the life of the world and share its problems as did our ,lord4 ,but if we are to be the instrument of ,god's purpose in the work of the world1 it will be necessary for us to have a sense of autonomy and a power of independence4 ,this is what it means to be in the world but not of the world4 ,one of the objectives of love1 therefore1 is so to live with one another1 especially with our children1 that out of that relationship we may emerge with such a power of being as a person that we shall be able to face the complexities1 pressures1 deprivations1 and dangers of modern life4 ,our aim is to help the child become a responsible participant in the crucial issues of life1 and to preserve his integrity as a deciding person4 ,the answer to his questions1 ,who am ,i8 and ,who are you81 will then be3 ,i am what ,i will1 and you are what you will2 and our relationship is one of mutuality in which each will call forth the other4 ,if the awakening of a sense of autonomy is an objective of love1 it is also the objective of the church's life1 its teaching1 and its evangelistic endeavor4 ,without power of autonomy and independence1 ,christians will be mere conformists and maintainers of the status quo4 ,sense of ,initiative ,the third objective of love is to help the individual achieve a sense of initiative4 ,at the age of four or five1 a child is faced with his next crisis and must take his next big step4 ,he must find out what kind of person he is going to be4 ,his search will be strengthened by his experience of trust1 and by whatever power of autonomy he has4 ,dr4 ,erikson points out that he wants to be like his parents who seem very wonderful to him1 but who1 at the same time1 present him with very real threats4 ,during this age he plays at being his parents4 ,according to ,dr4 ,erikson1 there are three strong developments which help him1 but which also contribute to his crisis4 ,first1 he learns to move around more freely and more violently1 and therefore establishes a wider1 and so it seems to him1 an unlimited radius of goals4 ,two1 his sense of language becomes perfected to the point where he understands and can ask about many things just enough to misunderstand them thoroughly2 and three1 both language and locomotion permit him to expand his imagination over so many things that he cannot avoid frightening himself with what he himself has dreamed and thought up4 ,nevertheless1 out of all this he must emerge with a sense of unbroken initiative as a basis for a high1 and yet realistic1 sense of ambition and independence4#ai ,initiative is the power that moves the individual to take over the role of others2 the boy1 his father2 the girl1 her mother2 later as the driver of the car1 and later still1 leadership roles of various kinds4 ,the struggles in the process are accompanied by feelings of anxiety1 of inadequacy1 and of guilt4 ,feelings of inadequacy in relation to the size and powers of the adult can be considerable2 and the feelings of guilt1 in response to the daydreams about replacing ,daddy1 for instance1 are crucial1 and too often are unrecognized by many parents and teachers4 ,they need to recognize and accept the developmental reasons for the child's preoccupations and fantasies about himself in relation to them and their roles and functions4 ,furthermore1 it is entirely appropriate for him to be physically aggressive toward others1 to overwhelm them with his incessant chattering1 his aggressive getting into things1 and his insatiable curiosity about everything4 ,the objective of love at this time is to provide the child with a reasonable freedom within which to develop his initiative with a minimum sense of guilt in relation to its exercise1 and with the hope that by so doing he will become a person whose creativity will not be frustrated by an overdeveloped sense of guilt4 ,in contrast1 many people are embarrassed by recognition of their achievements1 and are prevented from achievement because of guilt feelings that block their creative efforts4 ,unfortunately1 too much religious teaching has made people feel guilty about initiative and aggressiveness1 both of which can be expressed creatively4 ,from childhood on1 lives are hedged about by prohibitions in relation to persons bearing authority1 by belittling attitudes toward themselves and toward their drives to compete and to get ahead1 so that people become self-restricted and are kept from living up to their inner capacities or from using their powers of imagination and feeling4 ,while some withdraw into a dull kind of existence1 others overcompensate in a great show of tireless initiative and a quality of go-at-it-iveness at all costs4 ,these people often overdo to a point where they can never relax1 and they feel that their worth as people consists entirely in what they are doing rather than in what they are4 ,the objective of love is to help the child accept the necessary structures1 authorities1 and personal roles in relation to which he must live1 so that he may grow in his capacity to love persons and to use things4 ,during this stage of life1 children often turn to other adults for companionship and guidance4 ,they do so because the conflicts between themselves and these new adults do not seem to be as great as with their own parents4 ,they need these fresh relationships where they can exercise initiative without too much conflict and guilt4 ,here the school and church1 with its trained teachers and workers1 have an opportunity to supplement1 and even to correct1 the experiences that children are having at home4 ,we should remember1 however1 that the identifications with the parent are important1 and that the experiences the youngsters are having with others should be of a complementary nature1 even if they also are corrective4 ,another and supplementary objective of love is the provision of a relationship by parents or others in which a spirit of equality makes possible an experience of doing things together1 instead of a relationship in which the child has to compete unequally with the adult4 ,fathers1 for instance1 may be of great help to their sons4 ,boys are apt to feel that their fathers are too big1 too powerful1 and too skillful2 but if the father will base the relationship on some interest or experience common to them both1 the boy has an opportunity to grow in initiative and to develop his capacities without a sense of unequal competition4 ,the answer to the child's questions4 ,who am ,i8 and ,who are you81 will then be3 ,i am what ,i conceive myself to be1 and you are what ,i conceive you to be according to my understanding of how you have revealed yourself4 ,at this particular time in the development of the individual1 there begin to be formed the powerful images of ourselves and others that aid or hinder our relationship with one another4 ,sense of ,industry ,a fourth objective of love is to help the individual to a sense of industry1 for the child has now become a busy little person who needs to learn how to be busy with things and persons4 ,a child's busyness begins with his play4 ,children play separately at first4 ,in their youngest years1 they may sit apart in the same room1 each playing with his own things1 and each oblivious of the other except when one may discover that the other has something he wants4 ,later1 as they grow and mature1 there begins what we call parallel play4 ,they play along side of each other4 ,now they are aware of each other1 and each keeps an eye on his playmate4 ,their separate playing seems to have an influence on the other in that they imitate each other4 ,then1 at a still later stage1 they begin to play together4 ,the high point of this achievement1 still later1 is team play1 which begins in adolescence or even earlier4 ,now begins the capacity for directed fellowship4 ,the fellowship of a team is to be respected4 ,membership on the team may mean more to the boy than membership in his church1 and this may cause ministers1 parents1 and teachers considerable anxiety4 ,instead1 they should relax and be glad for the youngster's experience1 because team play is providing him with an experience of relationship that later will become the basis for his understanding of the ultimate meaning of all relationships4 ,they should accept the youngster's experience and use it creatively1 to help him understand the nature of the church1 our relationship as brothers1 and the captaincy of ,christ4 ,in team play1 also1 we see the occurrence of something that is very much a part of ,christian character4 ,in order for there to be team play1 it is necessary for every member of the team to die to the desire in him to be the whole show4 ,a mature team member has learned that his strength and skills depend on the strength and skills of others4 ,this is the theology of the playground4 ,what has been learned in play may be translated into work4 ,then1 since a man's work is one of the great spheres in which he may exercise his ministry as a representative of ,christ1 the learning of this profound lesson in the process of play is an important part of his religious education4 ,and it can be religious1 even though it may not be learned in the formal church4 ,the transition from play to work takes place gradually4 ,children become dissatisfied with play and make-believe1 and have a growing need to be useful1 to make things well1 and1 therefore1 to acquire a sense of industry4 ,they also learn to win recognition by producing things4 ,through play they advance to new stages of real mastery in the use of toys and things1 and learn to master experience by meditation1 experimenting1 and planning4 ,the home1 the school1 and the church should try to help them to make this transition easily in order that they may develop this sense of industry without a sense of inadequacy4 ,if they are pushed too strenuously to produce1 a sense of inadequacy may result1 especially when they still want to be cuddled and cared for4 ,family life has the responsibility of preparing the youngsters for school1 where1 in the context of their play experiences1 they accept the disciplines of work4 ,relaxed teachers are needed who understand the process by which children learn to move from play to work1 and who can encourage them to make this transition without either sparing them the needed disciplines or imposing them too strenuously4 ,here we see an area in which the role of the family and the role of the school are complementary4 ,the acquisition of a sense of industry is a decisive step in learning to do things with others and alongside others4 ,this will become a major source of satisfaction and the area of his greatest service4 ,sense of ,identity ,a fifth objective of love is to nurture in the human being a sense of identity which is acquired and consolidated in a new way during adolescence4 ,dr4 ,erikson describes identity as the accrued confidence that one's ability to maintain inner sameness and continuity is matched by the sameness and continuity of one's meaning for others4#bj ,as an individual develops and acquires skills1 he thinks of himself as one who can do things1 and his important people may hold a variety of expectations of him3 ,he's clumsy1 ,he never can do anything right2 or1 ,i can always count on him1 ,he's got the right stuff in him4 ,out of his achievements and the attitudes of others toward him1 his sense of self-esteem and prestige is built1 little by little4 ,as crisis after crisis is passed and the individual meets each of them with reasonable resourcefulness and receives the encouragement and recognition of others1 he begins to believe in himself1 to have a consistent expectation of what he will do in the face of various circumstances and relationships4 ,in this way he begins to acquire a style of living which is his own and which contributes to his sense of identity and to others' identification of him4 ,in the achievement of a sense of self-identity1 the child needs models with which to identify himself4 ,especially is this true during his adolescence4 ,he needs association with men who are clear about being men1 and women who are clear about being women1 and who are capable of and practice a reasonably wholesome relationship with each other4 ,he needs men and women who have convictions1 who can distinguish between right and wrong1 who hold these convictions firmly1 and yet not rigidly4 ,he needs guides and counselors who can help him bring together and concentrate his various and fluctuating drives and interests1 and who are not dismayed or misled by the inconsistencies and fluctuations that may accompany his development4 ,he needs help in choosing a job1 because self-identification is dependent upon some kind of occupational identity4 ,finally1 he needs help in acquiring1 as a part of his sense of self-identity1 a sense of vocation1 of being called to something that is greater than himself1 which will draw him forth as a participant in the deepest meaning of life4 ,the providing of this kind of relationship to help the individual acquire an indispensable sense of identity is another of love's objectives4 ,unfortunately1 however1 in our complex and technical society1 the models after which the youngsters may now pattern themselves are not as clear as they might be4 ,people are having to undergo tremendous adjustments in a time of rapid technical growth1 as a result of which their image of the world in which they live is changing2 producing1 therefore1 uncertainties in themselves1 and making it more difficult for adolescents4 ,our changing age creates many difficulties for changing adolescents4 ,cultural conditions often force young people to band together in groups or movements that provide them with a point of focus by means of which they stereotype themselves and their ideals4 ,this is one way in which they acquire stability and a sense of direction4 ,we need1 however1 to be tolerant of this and to recognize its purpose2 we need to realize also that if we provide them with alternatives1 their need for these stereotypes may disappear4 ,the church has a special role here4 ,most of the committee whose discussion we read in ,chapter ,i1 gave no evidence of being able to provide young people with the kind of models they need1 for there was nothing heroic1 clear-cut1 or creative about them4 ,their faith was defensive1 and it did not deal with the realities of life4 ,young people turn away from that kind of religion4 ,and quite rightly4 ,they need men and women whose religion1 instead of being a defense against life1 provides them with the courage to move into life and become a part of it1 to accept its problems and wrestle honestly for its meanings2 whose style of ,christian living is not compulsive1 but liberated2 not pretentious1 but honest2 whose reverence for ,god is not confined to the sanctuary1 but is exhibited in responsible relations with people4 ,they need models who1 because of their religious faith1 are able to admit when they are wrong and can ask for forgiveness without feeling a loss of personal dignity4 ,they need religious teachers who can portray1 both by word and by example1 the great personalities of the tradition1 the heroes and saints2 teachers who are clear about what their contribution really is1 who can make clear to youth the heroism of a man of faith and let it stand forth without all the confusions of superstitious veneration4 ,they need a church and religious teachers and members that have a sense of mission1 a reason and purpose for living that is related to all the exciting meanings of human life1 instead of being concerned with such irrelevancies as churchism1 parochialism1 institutionalism1 and other modern idols4 ,in the context of this kind of example1 adolescents1 even in complex1 modern1 industrial ,america with all its confused values1 will have the aid they need in order to move through the intricacies of their development and emerge with a sense of personal identity and a capacity for relationship4 ,sense of ,integrity ,a final objective of love is to help the individual1 who by now has become an adolescent and is fast approaching the threshold of adult life1 to achieve a sense of integrity4 ,the acquisition of the senses of trust1 autonomy1 initiative1 industry1 and identity through the years of his development should prepare him for responsible living with himself and others4 ,much depends1 as we have seen1 on the ability and willingness of those in his environment to accept1 respond to1 and guide him4 ,but there is still unfinished business with which we must help him2 namely1 the achievement of a sense of integrity4 ,a sense of integrity includes a capacity for intimacy with others4 ,more than sexual intimacy is meant1 although that is of more importance than many religious people want to admit4 ,for the moment1 however1 we are thinking of intimacy in a general sense1 of our capacity to participate in the meanings of one another's lives1 to fuse into relationships without losing our respective identities4 ,we see young people striving to achieve this kind of relation with each other through their talking things over endlessly1 by confessing what one feels like and what the other seems like1 and by sharing dreams1 ideals1 and ambitions4 ,where this is not achieved by early adulthood1 the individual may find himself separated from others except for formal and stereotyped interpersonal relations4 ,only the person who is capable of intimacy can become a partner in any relationship4 ,people who marry with the hope of achieving the power of intimacy are often disappointed1 because mutually fulfilling sexual intimacy requires a capacity for personal intimacy4 ,what we are trying to say here is that before one can become a partner1 one must first be a person4 ,with this we have reached a kind of summary in the development of our thesis which might be stated as follows3 ,a person is called into being out of relationship1 but the person in his separateness is necessary to the achievement of a new relationship4 ,intimacy is not only platonic1 but sexual as well4 ,the growing person needs help in acquiring a potential capacity for mutual1 satisfying intimacy with a partner of the opposite sex4 ,heterosexual mutuality has religious significance1 since sexual intimacy is supposed to be an outward and visible sign of personal intimacy4 ,yet religion is often strangely silent in this area1 and our young people are often misled4 ,a teen-ager recently said1 ,i don't go much for this platonic stuff4 ,when asked why1 he said1 ,i guess ,i'm too much of a wolf4 ,when asked what he meant by being a wolf1 he said that he was interested only in making love to a girl4 ,his view of intimacy1 which is similar to that of many other young people1 reveals at least two misunderstandings3 first1 the separation in his mind between the platonic kind of relationship and the sexual1 and secondly1 his association of the sexual with wolf1 which is a symbol of the subhuman4 ,religious teaching needs to affirm sexual intimacy as a part of people's lives1 and nurture them so that their sexual relationships may be a means of grace rather than a source of guilt4 ,the achievement of intimacy1 general and specific1 leads to the development of another capacity essential to integrity2 namely1 the capacity for generation1 whether of offspring or creativity of some other kind4 ,generative capacity is basic to an individual's assumption of responsibility1 and to his ability to initiate and bring to fulfillment new life or new expressions of life4 ,the power of origination is open to anyone1 and we can either affirm the power or deny it4 ,if we deny it1 we shall have to find substitutes which usually are subpersonal and which involve us in a kind of superficial but unfulfilling intimacy4 ,on the other hand1 the person with integrity is one who can initiate creativity of his own1 or consent to and participate in the creativity of others4 ,as ,dr4 ,erikson has pointed out1 he can be both a leader and a follower4 ,these are qualities and values needed by all men1 and the cultivation of them is the task of the church and the purpose of its teaching4 ,the objectives of love1 we see1 are not abstract1 but specific and concrete4 ,love calls forth persons and reunites life with life by providing the relationships in which the created needs of men are met4 ,the environment of saving love is needed to produce out of our biological nature and the physical world in which we live the image of ,god in each of us and the ,kingdom of ,god for all of us4 #ag ,man's ,need and ,god's ,action1 ,reuel ,l4 ,howe1 ,the ,seabury ,press1 ,greenwich1 ,connecticut1 #aiec1 ,chapter ,v4 #ah ,growth and ,crises of the ,healthy ,personality1 ,erik ,h4 ,erikson4 ,pamphlet from ,problems of ,infancy and ,childhood1 ,josiah ,macy1 ,jr4 ,foundation1 ,new ,york1 #aiej4 ,used by permission4 #ai ,ibid4 #bj ,ibid4 ,v ,,those ,,who ,,would ,,love ,we know that we have passed out of death into life1 because we love the brethren4--#a ,john #c3ad ,thus far in our discussion we have considered the nature of love1 the development of the needs of the individual1 and the objectives of love in calling persons into being4 ,now we turn to a discussion of the lover1 or of the person or persons who are the instruments of that love1 such as parents1 teachers1 ministers1 and every man of whatever function4 ,we shall also consider the nature of the relationship in which healing and reconciliation take place1 and consider some of its resources4 ,the ,power of the ,personal ,the doctrine of the ,incarnation1 which underlies the whole ,christian life1 is really the doctrine of the personalization of love4 ,by it is meant the embodiment in man of the life of ,god ,who is love4 ,the ,incarnation makes this life personal1 and persons1 therefore1 are of primary importance to its existence and its meaning4 ,in each generation the ,christian is called upon to reaffirm his faith in the power of persons living in relation to ,god and man4 ,our own generation has a special need for a reaffirmation of the personal because of our preoccupation with science and technology1 and with vast space and enormous power4 ,one wonders1 and hears others wondering1 what good is a person in the face of all these masses1 spaces1 and complexities4 ,but it was revealed in ,christ1 and every now and then it is revealed to us afresh1 that the whole vast structure of life is dependent upon the power of persons and upon our exercise of the power of the personal4 ,the character of man1 expressed in his relations with his fellow man1 will finally determine whether we will use our vast powers creatively or for our destruction4 ,the primary vocation of the ,christian in this time is to respond to the call of the person to be personal4 ,the church members with whose conversation we began this book1 seemed oblivious to the personal nature of the church's purpose4 ,they were concerned about substitutes for the personal1 about institutions and professional groups1 about a legalistic morality1 and about knowledge for its own sake4 ,any one of their concerns1 if caught up in the vitality of the personal1 could have valuable meaning4 ,law1 as we have seen1 has its role1 if it is a part of love4 ,human effort is important as personal response to what ,god has done for us4 ,dependence upon the clergy is a part of the life of the church1 but the work of the clergy1 as we have seen1 cannot be a substitute for the ministry of the whole church4 ,the church is important1 but it does not find its meaning in its isolation from the world4 ,and knowledge about ,god1 ,his creation1 and redemption is necessary to the ,christian life1 but such knowledge must find its meaning in our living relation with ,god4 ,the recent emphasis on the interpersonal and group process has contributed much to our understandings of the human relationships of ,christian fellowship4 ,as a result of the emphasis1 a new polarity operates in the life and teaching of the church3 one pole is the content of the ,good ,news2 the other pole is the encounter between men in which the ,good ,news is realized4 ,unfortunately1 the image of the relationship between the encounter and the content of the ,christian faith has been and still is that of opponents in a battle4 ,this concept is erroneous1 for any dialogue must have content4 ,the conversation between two people that is not informed by learning produces nonsense4 ,discussion groups have revealed their poverty when they have not been informed by responsible knowledge2 fellowship for the sake of fellowship becomes tiresome2 and relationship without good discipline1 whether in the home or elsewhere1 becomes chaos and anarchy4 ,so1 there are some disciplines that we need to observe as persons in whom the ,spirit of ,god seeks to incarnate ,his love4 ,we ,need ,informed ,christians ,first1 if we are to embody and express the love of ,christ in our generation1 we must keep our minds alert and our interests alive4 ,at this point1 church people fail in several ways4 ,instead of having minds that search for the meaning of life in ,christian terms1 they sometimes have minds filled with musty opinions and prejudices4 ,an otherwise alert lawyer1 for example1 said that he did not want his church to take a stand on any of the great social issues1 but stick to its subject1 namely1 religion4 ,this preoccupation with the subject matter of religion apart from its relevance to life is a characteristic failure of many church people4 ,as ,christian churchmen1 we do not need to be scholars in religion1 but we should be interested in the issues of life1 open to new understandings1 and engaged in some kind of reading or study that will keep us informed and intellectually awake4 ,only in this way can we keep ourselves from falling into narrow little ruts and pulling the world in after us4 ,a part of our ministry is to participate in and help to keep alive the dialogue between man and man1 between the church and the world1 between ,christian thought and the problems of existence4 ,emotional and opinionated thinking about religion1 values1 and social issues is appallingly prevalent among religious people4 ,the conversations of church members often are pitiful in their concern for the trivial affairs of the local church and institution1 about its building and organizations1 its suppers and bazaars4 ,what a pathetic and inconsequential way of serving ,christ6 ,he needs1 instead1 men and women who are out on the frontiers of modern life1 representing ,his message to the world4 ,the accomplishment of an intellectually and socially responsible ministry calls for some effort on the part of the local church4 ,in the first place1 the minister will have to preach1 and teach out of1 the gospel in its relation to life4 ,instead of talking so much about religion as an end in itself1 he ought to talk about life in the context of the teaching of religion4 ,the content of his sermons and instructions should be the affairs of men1 for these raise the questions for which the gospel was given4 ,the discussion of religion apart from life produces a laity who1 in their life in the world1 are unable to represent the message of the gospel1 because they do not know that the message of the gospel has any relation to the affairs of life4 ,then we hear such laymen say to any minister who might try to speak relevantly to human questions3 ,stick to your subject2 ,i don't think these things are the business of the church4 ,church members1 as a part of their devotion to ,christ who had love for the world1 should try to understand the life of the world in terms of its deepest meanings1 and not be content with merely its superficial values4 ,they will read articles and books and editorials1 and listen to speeches and forums on television and radio1 not only that they may be informed1 but also that they may be informed for ,god and may serve ,him better in the world4 ,religion that seeks escape from the world1 and similarly the person who will not assume responsibility for ,god in the world1 is sinful and idolatrous4 ,protection against this sin and idolatry is partly secured by serving ,god with our minds and our interests4 ,prayer and the ,life of ,devotion ,a second discipline of the responsible ,christian is the discipline of prayer and devotion4 ,we cannot live in relation to ,god and serve ,him if we do not communicate with ,him4 ,prayer is one of the indispensable forms of the dialogue between man and man1 man and ,god1 and ,god and the world4 ,unfortunately1 however1 many people1 including some clergymen1 have given up prayer1 because it seems unrealistic and unfruitful in this scientific age4 ,a part of our trouble may be that we tend to separate our acts of prayer from our life of devotion4 ,or1 to use a concept we have employed earlier1 we separate the forms of prayers from the vitality which provides the life of devotion4 ,both public and private prayer lose their vitality by this separation of form from life1 and by the separation of ,god from the world1 so that we make ,him the monarch of religion instead of the creator and redeemer of life4 ,because of our belief in love as ,god's chosen relation to the world and in the incarnation of love in the personal1 it becomes possible for our prayers and worship to be quickened through our devotion to the purposes of ,god in the world4 ,an analogy may help us here4 ,every relationship has its devotional rituals and observances which are important to it4 ,husband and wife1 for instance1 because of their love and devotion to each other1 develop little rituals and ways of doing that are designed to express their devotion to each other4 ,they come together for this purpose4 ,there is the kiss1 the touch of the hand1 the gifts on special occasions and those which come as surprises2 their physical union is the symbol and instrument of their spiritual union and becomes the sacrament of their relationship as persons4 ,but these acts of love presuppose and depend upon their over-all and lifelong devotion to each other in everything that they do4 ,their life of devotion to each other provides the content and drive for their acts of devotion1 and their acts of devotion are a means of expressing their life of devotion4 ,their life of devotion needs these acts of devotion1 and without the life of devotion their acts of devotion will dry up and become meaningless4 ,so it is in our relation to ,god4 ,we cannot fall on our knees and cry with any meaning3 ,o ,god1 ,o ,father1 ,o ,judge1 ,o ,savior1 if our whole lives are not lived in the context of the meaning of these exclamations4 ,then our words become empty and cannot rise above our lips1 and we are overcome by the despair and futility of our prayers4 ,prayer may not be recovered by going to a school of prayer to learn various techniques and kinds of prayer1 but by rekindling our devotion to the people and the world for whom ,christ died4 ,then1 by practicing our acts of devotion in the context of such a life of devotion1 we may rediscover the meaning of prayer4 ,our acts of devotion cannot be quickened by the intensification of our prayer activity alone4 ,many people who are frantically trying to whip up their prayer life would do better to get up off their knees and go out and do something about their loveless1 purposeless1 and undevoted lives4 ,the devotion of the so-called children of darkness to the pursuit of their scientific or industrial purposes may be more impressive than the vain babblings of the so-called children of ,god about their souls4 ,the trivial concerns of some religious people stand in uncomplimentary contrast to the heroism of the researcher's devotion to his project and to the scientist's devotion to his experiment4 ,perhaps the purposes of ,god are more served by them than by us1 although by them ,his purposes may not be served consciously4 ,how can the life of devotion and the acts of devotion be brought together8 ,when employer and labor leader meet to work out the problems of fair employment1 they may do so either as a necessary part of their business1 which of course it is1 or as a way of expressing their devotion to ,god4 ,god's love is concerned with justice between employer and employee1 and the employer and the labor leader participate in the work of ,god in the world by their devotion to these problems4 ,this is both their way of being responsible businessmen and citizens1 and their way of loving ,god and assuming responsibility for ,him4 ,to whatever degree they recognize this as being true1 they will find satisfaction and meaning in the offering of their effort as an act of reverence to ,god1 together with a private prayer for ,his guidance that each may be open not only to what ,god is trying to do through him1 but open also to what ,he is trying to do through the other4 ,in our acts of devotion1 therefore1 we pray for a life of devotion in which we may be the instruments of ,god's purposes in the incarnations of ,his ,spirit4 ,we pray also for others1 for our children1 for our pupils1 for our associates1 whether they be employees1 peers or superiors1 that they too may be incarnations of ,god's ,spirit and instruments for the accomplishment of ,his purpose4 ,acts of devotion1 in the context of this kind of life of devotion1 change the whole focus of human relations and get them off their self-centered1 competitive1 and alienating basis4 ,acts of devotion are revitalized by being restored to a relation to the life of devotion1 and the life of devotion is given an opportunity in acts of devotion to articulate its meaning1 and to be guided and renewed in the dialogue between ,god and man as expressed in worship4 ,and the union of the acts of devotion with the life of devotion will illumine anew for us the meaning of daily life1 and our relationship with one another4 ,it will improve our dialogue with one another and with ,god4 ,the ,practice of ,creativity ,a third discipline to be practiced by the person through whom the ,spirit would work is the cultivation of creative activity4 ,by the discipline of creativity1 ,i mean the discipline of learning and perfecting some skill in art or music or handicraft or sport in which there is opportunity to co-ordinate motor and mental powers and to gain therefrom some sense of achievement4 ,a creative approach to life1 of course1 is a part of a life of devotion4 ,creative activity is indispensable to the health of the human soul1 especially in this day when there is an increasing gap between our efforts and their result4 ,mothers are often frustrated and unhappy because they do not see immediately in their children the good results of their long and painful efforts in their behalf4 ,teachers can work with a pupil for months and years and still not have a clear-cut sense of achievement4 ,the man in his office may be but a part of a huge organization1 and the results of his labors are neither conclusive nor a source of immediate satisfaction to him4 ,the researcher may have to work for years before he achieves the results for which he is looking4 ,indeed1 he may never gain them for himself1 because the work that he does may only lead to the work of others1 and still others will reap the harvest4 ,then there are many engaged in work from which little sense of achievement can be gained1 and yet it is necessary work and provides them with a living4 ,lack of response or delayed response to human effort can be profoundly frustrating to the human spirit1 and frustrated people do not make good instruments for the expression of love4 ,it is imperative1 therefore1 that those who would be lovers of man and ,god should find substitute ways in which to close the gap between their effort and their achievement4 ,the person who has a sense of creative outlets is one1 therefore1 who has greater powers of endurance1 patience1 and courage with which to face the challenges and threats of life4 ,he is apt to be more free to love1 and he will grow old more gracefully4 ,the discipline of creative action needs to be planned1 time needs to be allowed for it1 and those activities chosen which are feasible and appropriate to the person and his circumstances4 ,we can learn to plan ahead so that from time to time we are prepared to undertake new projects4 ,an elderly person of the writer's acquaintance began1 during his sixties1 to learn something new each year4 ,the result was that his spirit remained youthful and his interest in life was kept alive4 ,not only is this kind of activity fun1 but also it is a way by which to keep oneself open to the possibilities of life4 ,it becomes a way in which one can live devotionally and realize within himself and in his relations with others the image of the creative ,god by ,whom he was created4 ,relationship as ,resource ,we come now to a consideration of the quality of relationship that nurtures persons4 ,we discussed this earlier from the point of view of the child's need to be loved1 his need to love1 and his need to have his efforts to love welcomed4 ,but now we turn to a discussion of relationship as a resource from the point of view of the one who is giving the love4 ,we are thinking of the parent1 the teacher1 the pastor1 or any other person who makes himself responsible for others4 ,it is curious how little we think of our relationship with one another as a resource4 ,when someone comes to us who is in trouble1 we often say1 ,i wish ,i could think of something to do or say that would help him1 not realizing that the greatest thing we can do is to be a person in relation to him4 ,here again we realize the meaning of the incarnation4 ,everyone who hopes to participate in the life of ,christ in the world today is called to be a person in relation to others1 and whatever he thinks to do or say should be an expression of what he is4 ,if we say or do something that is helpful to others1 it is because we are really present to them1 really hear what they are trying to say1 and they know that we are with them4 ,on the other hand1 we all have had the experience1 when we were in trouble and needed help1 of having would-be advisers and comforters make all kinds of suggestions and verbalize all kinds of would-be comforting thoughts1 but have lacked the feeling that they were really with us4 ,i sometimes have the impression that we like the idea of being helpful persons1 but dislike the demand and disturbance that goes with it4 ,it is easier to be depersonalized and professional1 but professionalism is the enemy of relationship4 ,professionalism is the conduct of a relationship for its own sake or for the sake of the helping person who is conducting it1 rather than for the one for whom it was intended4 ,physicians1 for instance1 exhibit professionalism when they practice medicine without concern for the patient4 ,teachers exhibit professionalism when they teach their subject as an end in itself or for their own satisfaction4 ,ministers can be professional in relation to their parishioners4 ,parents can be professional in relation to their children4 ,any relationship can deteriorate into mere professionalism4 ,what are some of the marks of professionalism8 ,in the first place1 professionalism is marked by condescension in which an attitude of superiority is evident4 ,parents are heard to say3 ,children are just children1 you know4 ,they don't know what they want2 they don't know what they're talking about4 ,attitudes of condescension are contradictory to the concept of incarnation1 which means to be a part of and identified with another4 ,condescension1 therefore1 closes us to the possibility of being indwelt by the ,spirit and from being the instruments of love4 ,another mark of professionalism is its manipulative tendency4 ,we push people around and get them to do what we want them to do1 because it is easier that way4 ,mother knows best1 ,you do it because ,i tell you4 ,obviously1 the professional attitude is alienating1 because people do not like to be pushed around1 and they will not be1 if they can help it2 and if they are1 they resent it4 ,professionalism impoverishes relationship because1 for instance1 neither the parent nor the child gives or receives4 ,the effect of professionalism does not need to be spelled out in any greater detail1 because we all have experienced and participated in it4 ,we may more usefully turn our attention to a study of the character of relationship that is the source of life4 ,the ,values of ,mutuality ,personal growth is nurtured best in relationships in which the quality of mutuality makes growth a possibility for both the child and the parent1 the pupil and the teacher4 ,if growth occurs on one side1 it must take place also on the other4 ,if parent or teacher does not grow1 then we must conclude that the relationship is not mutual and that the child will not prosper either4 ,mutuality means that the teacher and pupil1 or parent and child1 are open to each other4 ,when one speaks1 he expects to be heard by the other4 ,communication inevitably takes place in a relationship of mutual expectancy4 ,communication produces a personal encounter in which one addresses and the other responds1 and a real meeting occurs4 ,we cannot make this kind of personal meeting take place4 ,we can only prepare ourselves for it1 which is one way of thinking of prayer4 ,when we practice expectancy in our relationships1 we are preparing ourselves for possible depth meetings that may take place between others and ourselves4 ,preparation means ridding ourselves of prejudices and preconceptions1 fears and anxieties1 ulterior motives and purposes1 in order that we may speak the word of love and truth to others1 and really hear the word of love and truth that they speak to us4 ,in similar fashion1 we may prepare ourselves to be open to whatever ,god may speak to us through persons or situations during that day4 ,finally1 because we have thus prepared ourselves for a real meeting between people1 we will not so easily seek to manipulate and exploit them4 ,mutual ,attention ,the quality of mutuality calls for mutual attention4 ,those who would call each other into being and be the instrument of ,god's love in human relations must pay attention to each other4 ,it is difficult to speak if we do not have the listener's attention2 it is difficult to listen if we do not have the speaker's attention4 ,absence of mutual attention breaks down communication4 ,sermons may not have the attention of the congregation because the preacher's attention is fixed only on the sermon as a production1 or on himself as a performer1 and not on the congregation that he is now addressing1 and whose response is necessary if his sermon1 as communication1 is to be completed4 ,likewise1 a child may not hear the parent because the parent is not really paying attention to the child4 ,we hear ourselves saying1 ,look here1 you pay attention to me4 ,we say it in desperation because we know that our angry command will not accomplish the desired result4 ,the inattention that we receive from one another discourages us personally and blocks the possibility of the dialogue that might reunite us4 ,how can we secure the attention of others8 ,the answer is simple3 by being attentive4 ,as a teacher ,i have found that if ,i am really attentive to my pupils1 they pay attention to me4 ,but if ,i am just doing a job and not really concerned about them1 they do not hear me because ,i am not hearing them4 ,if we want attention we must be attentive4 ,if we want love we must love4 ,if we want anything we must give it4 ,this is a ,christian principle4 ,we cannot demand something and get it4 ,attention1 then1 is a gift that we give one another4 ,we give the gift of attention and receive it in return4 ,we have no automatic right to it1 nor does anyone4 ,attentiveness is something that can be learned4 ,we learn by having eyes that see and ears that hear4 ,eyes1 of course1 are made for seeing and ears for hearing1 but we can learn also to hear with our eyes and see with our ears4 ,when ,i am seeking to understand another1 for example1 ,i find that what ,i see in his face and manner helps me to understand what he is saying2 and1 likewise1 attentive hearing helps me to understand what he is also revealing in his face and manner4 ,we pay attention by watching the eyes1 facial expressions1 and behavior of people1 by listening for the question behind the question and for the meaning behind the meaning1 remembering that there is tremendous content behind what is said and shown4 ,if we would be servants of love1 we must have ears that really hear and eyes that really see2 and1 like our ,lord1 hear and see deeply in order that the truth which men are really seeking may be found4 ,such hearing and seeing was the gift of ,christ to men1 and should therefore be the gift of ,christians to men4 ,it follows1 then1 that the good teacher is one who1 participating in a relationship with our ,master ,teacher1 can accept any question that a person may bring1 knowing that if he stays with it1 he will be led1 step by step1 to that person's real concern4 ,when the teacher gives that kind of attention1 the students are more apt to respond relevantly1 which is their attention to the teacher4 ,then the teacher has the wonderful experience of mutual attention in which meaningful communication has taken place4 ,what ,i have said about teaching and the relationship between teacher and pupil is true of all relationships4 ,the reward for the gift of attention is that others will respond with clues in the form of questions or comments that will enable us to meet them at the point of the meaning of their life4 ,not only does this kind of listening provide a basis for a highly significant curriculum for teaching1 as we saw earlier1 but also a basis for true human community and communication4 ,our self-centeredness1 however1 gives us a natural pull away from attentiveness4 ,but the ,spirit of ,christ ,who1 in drawing us to ,him1 draws us to one another1 will make mutual attentiveness possible so that two-way communication will become a reality for us4 ,one current objection to this kind of mutual attentiveness travels under two guises3 one is the possibility of being offensively nosy and intrusive2 the other is the fear of really violating the privacy of other people4 ,certainly1 privacy should be respected1 and we should not force ourselves upon others1 but attentiveness is not intrusiveness4 ,every human being wants to be known and to know as a person1 and in ways that are both conscious and unconscious4 ,we seek others that we may be known and may know4 ,attentiveness is really alertness to the lonely cry of man1 and respects rather than violates the individual's separateness and sanctity4 ,mutual ,respect ,mutual respect is also a necessary quality in human relations4 ,respect for oneself and for others is not as common as one might expect4 ,we find self-concern and some concern for others1 but not respect4 ,respect for others is hard to maintain if one does not respect oneself1 and it is appalling to realize what low estimates many people have of themselves4 ,although they may disguise from themselves and others their despair about themselves in many ingenious ways1 lack of self-respect nevertheless is characteristic of many people's self-image4 ,their view of themselves results largely from their experiences in relationship1 many of which we have already discussed4 ,we may try to prevent the development of negative attitudes and feelings toward ourselves and our children1 but no matter how loving we try to be1 we shall inevitably cause some injury1 distortion1 and deprivation to the maturing person4 ,what1 then1 is the answer to this human problem8 ,if the effect of growing up is to produce in us misgivings about ourselves and others1 how can we acquire the self-respect and respect for others which is necessary for those who would truly serve ,god and man8 ,since mutual respect is a necessary condition for creative human relations1 it is necessary that the vicious circle of non-respect be broken by someone4 ,it is at this point that our participation in the re-creating life of ,god in ,christ1 which is made possible by the presence and work of ,his ,spirit in us1 makes a decisive difference in our self-estimate4 ,the ,incarnation is the affirmation of ,god's faith in ,his creation4 ,christ is an expression of ,god's faith in man and what ,he is able to do through man4 ,the principle of mutuality1 which we have been affirming in our present discussion1 is true not only for the relation between man and man1 but between man and ,god as well4 ,for the love of ,god in ,christ affirms our value as persons in ,his desire to work through the people who will respond to ,his love1 and shows ,his respect for what they can do4 ,god's love and respect for men was expressed through the person of ,jesus and continues to be expressed through persons in each generation4 ,his people1 the servants of ,his ,spirit1 are the ones who will break the vicious circle of mutual non-respect1 and give the gift of mutual respect4 ,we can respect ourselves1 therefore1 because ,god shows ,his respect for us by loving and working through us4 ,when we have a great task to do that calls for the courage and heroism of love1 we can take a chance and set ourselves to the task because our faith in ,god makes it possible to have faith in ourselves and in those whom we would love4 ,when we let our misgivings deter us so that we turn away from the challenges of love1 we not only repudiate ourselves1 but also turn our backs on ,god's affirming judgment of us4 ,mutual respect has some identifiable characteristics4 ,first1 we must respect one another as autonomous1 deciding persons4 ,we cannot make our children and others do what we may think they ought to do4 ,we can only meet them with whatever resources we have1 and out of respect for their own power of decision and action leave them free to make their response4 ,then1 when they have made it1 we must respect it even though they may not be doing what we want them to do or doing it in the way we think best4 ,our decisions and way of life will not work for others4 ,we must also respect one another's dependence4 ,but respect for others' dependence should not increase it2 that is1 we should try to meet their need1 but not exploit it4 ,some years ago ,i was invited to lead a clergy conference on the subject of pastoral counseling4 ,during the opening dinner before the beginning of the sessions1 ,i sat next to a minister who tried to impress me with how much he knew about pastoral counseling4 ,among other things1 he said1 ,you know1 it's a wonderful thing to stand up before my congregation on ,sunday morning and be able to count the increasing number of people who depend upon me for my pastoral care4 ,the temptation to exploit human need is insidious1 and we have all succumbed to it many times and in many ways4 ,that pastor might better have rejoiced in those of his congregation who1 in spite of their dependence and need1 were able to use his help in their own independent way and thus grow stronger and more resourceful4 ,likewise1 we may minister to the needs of our children and accept their dependence in ways that demonstrate our respect for them and our expectation that they will become more responsible4 ,mutual respect also calls for respect of others who must answer for their own lives4 ,while it is true that we are dependent upon ,god and ,his love for us1 our response as individuals is a necessary complement to what ,he has done4 ,the source of our life and of our redemption is in ,god1 but we have to respond1 and our responsible action makes complete what ,god has done for us4 ,therefore1 we respect ourselves as having within ourselves the power of answer for our own lives4 ,mutual respect for one another as responsible beings increases our self-respect1 and1 conversely1 our growing self-respect increases the respect we have for others4 ,mutual ,trust ,mutual trust is a third necessary quality in human life4 ,as we saw earlier1 nothing can happen in any relationship where there is not trust1 and yet1 lack of trust is everywhere prevalent4 ,the great question is3 ,how can we trust when we have such strong feelings of mistrust not only of persons1 but also of the process of life8 ,i have often had these misgivings as a teacher when1 beginning with new students1 ,i wondered how we could go through the crises of learning again4 ,where would ,i find the strength and courage for the challenges8 ,would they respond to their opportunities and resources8 ,parents have the same questions when they think of their children and wonder if1 after all the years of care1 they will turn out all right4 ,sometimes we become overwhelmed at the sheer weight and endlessness of our responsibilities1 and in those moments we become profoundly discouraged4 ,the need of love is desperate1 and we feel wholly unequal to meeting that need4 ,how wonderful it would be if we could have more confidence in ourselves and in others1 and likewise in the processes of life to which we must commit ourselves4 ,the answer to this longing is in the old1 but ever new1 affirmation that those who have faith in ,god can have faith in man and in the relationships of life4 ,as we read ,paul's epistles to the ,corinthians1 we may notice that he seems to have been more confident of them than they were of themselves4 ,yet1 his confidence in them was not so much in them as it was in the ,holy ,spirit4 ,because of the ,spirit1 he had reason to have confidence in what the ,spirit would do among1 in1 and through them4 ,along this same line1 a teacher made the following comment about his experience in one of his classes3 ,on one occasion ,i was suffering from some agenda anxieties1 afraid that the members of the class1 in the course of their discussion1 would not arrive at some important and necessary insights4 ,i was tempted to make sure that they saw certain things in the subject that ,i felt they ought to see1 but fortunately ,i was restrained from interfering4 ,instead1 ,i had an exciting morning hearing all the things that ,i wanted to say said by them4 ,it was a great experience6 ,this illustrates how important it is for us to keep ourselves from meddling1 and to have confidence in the ,spirit4 ,then the truth appears in the midst of us much more powerfully than if we handed it out1 because when it appears out of the midst1 it comes with authority1 it comes with depth1 it is memorable4 ,the truth that comes to us in this way makes us free4 ,the moral is obvious3 ,let us trust what ,god is trying to accomplish in us1 and therefore trust one another4 ,to trust in the ,spirit's working through dialogue does not mean that we shall be successful in all our endeavors4 ,people's response to being trusted is not dependable or consistent4 ,man's response to ,god's trust1 expressed in the life of ,christ1 produced the crucifixion4 ,we all have had the experience of having our trust in others betrayed4 ,this tempts us to become bitter1 to lose faith in man1 and to lose faith in ,god4 ,but these responses are not a contradiction of trust2 they are a part of the curriculum of trust4 ,trust1 if it is to do its full work1 must include mistrust1 and faith must include doubt4 ,i am helped to accept this insight because of the awareness of the doubt that is so much a part of my own faith which ,god accepts as a part of me and which gives my faith something to do4 ,after all1 faith is for doubt1 courage is for anxiety1 love is for hate4 ,instead of resenting hate1 anxiety1 doubt1 and mistrust1 we should accept them as a part of life4 ,we are called by the divine love to be lovers1 called by ,god to be ,his servants1 called by the ,saving ,person to be ,his person in the realm and the relationship of the personal4 ,we are precious and important to one another and to ,god4 ,we have a responsibility for others that must be met by our first being responsible for what we are in ourselves1 the instrument for the revelation1 in personal terms1 of the power of love4 ,it is imperative1 therefore1 that if we are to love others as we love ,god1 we must love ourselves as being infinitely precious to ,god and ourselves1 and indispensable because we have responded to a means of salvation for one another4 ,,vi ,,love ,,in ,,action ,by this we know love1 that he laid down his life for us3 and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren4--#a ,john #c3af ,we come now to the climax of our study4 ,love must lay down its life2 that is1 it must give itself4 ,the question then is3 ,what is the mode and place of its self-giving8 ,under this heading ,i want to consider the nature of communication1 evaluate the church as an agent of communication1 and dwell on the implications of our study for church unity4 ,the ,importance of ,communication ,communication is essential to the expression of love and indeed to life itself4 ,where there is love1 there must be communication1 because love can never be passive and inactive4 ,love inevitably expresses itself and moves out toward others4 ,when communication breaks down1 love is blocked and its energy will turn to resentment and hostility4 ,one of the greatest of tragedies occurs when the partners of a relationship break off their communication with each other4 ,without communication1 the possibilities for a relationship become hopeless1 the resources of the partners for the relationship are no longer available1 the means for healing the hurts that previous communication may have caused are no longer present2 and each1 when he recovers from his need to justify himself and hurt the other1 will find himself in a bottomless pit of loneliness from which he cannot be pulled except by the ropes of communication1 which may or may not be capable of pulling him out again because of their weakened condition4 ,many of us know what it means to be in a foreign country where we cannot speak the language1 but the loneliness of that condition is as nothing compared to the loneliness that is the product of an alienation that has been produced by either irresponsible use of the means of communication or a willful refusal to employ them4 ,if there is any one indispensable insight with which a young married couple should begin their life together1 it is that they should try to keep open1 at all cost1 the lines of communication between them4 ,everyone needs and should have premarital counseling1 if only to help them to this all important insight4 ,here is a place where the church's ministry needs to be strengthened1 since so many people turn to the church to have their marriages solemnized4 ,before each marriage is performed1 the minister should meet with the couple and help them prepare for the relationship1 and he should include in that preparation the guidance that will help them to understand how indispensably important to its preservation1 and1 therefore1 to their life together1 are all the means of communication between them4 ,fortunately1 more and more ministers are assuming this responsibility2 and fortunately1 also1 more and more seminaries are providing instructions that teach ministers how to minister helpfully at this strategically important time4 ,but much more needs to be done4 ,many marital breakdowns due to failure of communication could be alleviated1 if not prevented1 by giving young couples assistance when they are beginning their life together4 ,but communication is indispensable in all relationships1 and not only in the personal ones like marriage4 ,in labor disputes1 for instance1 the bargaining relationship breaks down when either one or both parties abandon the attempt to communicate with the other4 ,therefore1 we may conclude1 in paraphrase of the ,scriptures3 ,if any man says that he loves ,god and will not try to communicate with his brother1 he is a liar6 ,but what is communication1 and why is it so difficult to achieve8 ,most people seem to think of communication as getting a message across to another person4 ,you tell him what you want him to know4 ,this concept produces a one-way verbal flow for which the term monologue is descriptive4 ,much of the church's so-called communication is monological1 with preachers and teachers telling their hearers1 both adults and children1 the message they think they should know4 ,the difficulty with monological activity is that it renders the hearer passive4 ,it assumes that he is a receptacle into which the desired message may be poured4 ,it eliminates the possibility of his active participation in the formulation of the message1 and seems not to heed that a part of the message is in the person who is to receive it4 ,those who have studied the dynamics of communication and the process by which it occurs are convinced that the monological principle is contradictory to the nature of communication1 and as a method is the least effective4 ,reflective observation of our own learning indicates that communication is most effective when we become a part of the process and meet the message with our own content4 ,furthermore1 the monological principle is not one that was used by our ,lord4 ,he1 ,who was the full incarnation of love1 made people participants in the ,good ,news that ,he proclaimed4 ,we think1 for example1 of ,his conversation with the woman at the well1 in the course of which she moved from her superficial understanding of water to ,his understanding of the water of life1 wherein the meaning of her life was revealed to her4#ba ,again1 we think of the lawyer who put ,him to a test by asking what he must do to inherit eternal life1 and our ,lord drew him out in such a way that he answered his own question4#bb ,the ,gospels are full of such illustrations of our ,lord's method of communication4 ,it is curious1 therefore1 that the church has settled for the opposite monological principle which is quite unequal to the task of conveying the full meanings of the gospel4 ,communication ,is ,dialogue ,our ,lord's method1 which we may call the dialogical1 has been vindicated by modern research into the dynamics of communication1 which has demonstrated conclusively that the to-and-fro process between teacher and pupil1 between parent and child1 provides the most dependable and permanent kind of education4 ,what is that to-and-fro between one who knows and one who does not8 ,the monological argument against the dialogical process is that the ignorant and untutored have nothing to contribute1 so that the addition of zero and zero equals zero4 ,this kind of comment1 which is made by surprisingly intelligent and otherwise perceptive people1 and all too often by educators1 demonstrates how little they know about the processes of learning4 ,nor does it follow that the dialogical principle forbids the use of the monological method4 ,there is a place for the lecture and for direct presentation of content1 but to be most useful they should be in a dialogical context4 ,furthermore1 it is quite possible for a person giving a lecture to give it in such a way that he draws his hearers into active response to his thought1 and although they remain verbally silent1 the effect is that of dialogue4 ,as a matter of fact1 one should not confuse the different methods of teaching with the dialogical concept of communication4 ,both the lecturer and the discussion leader can be either monological or dialogical1 even though they are using different methods4 ,the person who believes that communication1 and therefore education1 is dialogical in nature1 will use every tool in the accomplishment of his purpose4 ,when the question needs to be raised1 he may use the discussion method or perhaps some visual aid4 ,when an answer is indicated1 he may give a lecture or use some other transmissive resource4 ,but his orientation to his task is based on his belief that his accomplishments as a leader are dependent partly upon what his pupil brings to learning1 and that for education to take place their relationship must be mutual4 ,what is it that the learner brings that is of such great value to the teacher8 ,what possibly can the child have that the parent needs in order to help the child learn and mature8 ,the child1 and every person for that matter1 brings to every encounter meanings drawn from his previous experience which1 in one way or another1 prepares him for what is to be learned4 ,in ,chapter ,,iv we considered some of the early1 basic acquisitions of the individual2 for example1 the meanings of trust and mistrust acquired in his first year1 of liberating autonomy or resentful dependence1 and other meanings which influence to a high degree his openness to the teacher and to what the teacher has to give4 ,in addition to these basic meanings1 he has a whole host of others which he has picked up from his previous experience3 knowledge of people1 of himself1 of the world in which he lives1 of the nature of things1 all of which he uses in response to the approach of parent1 teacher1 friend1 or whoever may be apt to confront him with new truth4 ,we need to remember that the meanings the learner brings are far from complete and mature1 and that he is in the process of growing and becoming more adequate4 ,he wants to learn1 but he does not want to learn at the price of his own integrity4 ,in learning he wants to have the sense of acquiring new powers4 ,any approach to him that seems to diminish him in any way closes him as a responsive1 learning person4 ,furthermore1 his experience thus far and its meaning produce in him questions for which he would like to have answers4 ,the individual1 therefore1 brings to his meeting with others certain beliefs1 attitudes1 understandings1 knowledge1 and questions1 which1 in one way or another1 have prepared him or closed him to learning4 ,a good teacher1 accordingly1 pays attention to what his pupil brings4 ,the teacher 7and here ,i am not thinking of the professional teacher only7 first makes it his business to find out about his pupil or about the person with whom he wishes to communicate4 ,as teacher1 he needs to know as much about his pupil as he needs to know about his subject4 ,he wants to help him ask his questions1 so that what is communicated will be an answer to his questions4 ,all too often what we offer as answers fail because they are addressed to questions which have not been asked1 and1 therefore1 do not have meaning for them4 ,the parent and teacher1 therefore1 should seek to call forth and formulate the understandings of children in order that they may more readily hear and understand the new truth that is being presented4 ,the need to be aware of the meanings that each person brings to his educational encounters is equally relevant to disagreements between adults4 ,many a husband and wife1 for instance1 fail to deal with a disagreement or quarrel constructively because each is thinking only in terms of the meanings he brings to the conflict1 instead of trying also to discover the concerns and meanings his partner brings4 ,we all know that sometimes the real cause of a quarrel is not expressed1 with the result that the quarrelers can only deal with the superficial meanings of the conflict and in ways that further alienate them from each other4 ,the responsibility for communication in such instances calls for each partner to pay attention to the meanings that the other one brings to the conflict1 and try also to help the other say what he means1 for his own and the sake of the other4 ,in this way1 constructive communication may be resumed4 ,the ,purpose of ,communication ,the question now needs to be raised3 ,what is the purpose of communication8 ,there is a tendency on our part to regard consensus and assent as the goals of communication4 ,the attempt to get people to sign on the dotted line1 as it were1 makes our communications aggressive and imperialistic4 ,the hearer is not respected as an autonomous1 deciding person1 and this may cause him to decide against the message because of the alienating way in which it is being presented4 ,when the gospel is preached without respect for the autonomy and integrity of the individual1 the effect is alienating4 ,the same results occur when parents act imperialistically in relation to the educational opportunities in the home4 ,the goal of communication is not to secure assent and agreement1 but is1 rather1 to help the individual make a decision and translate it into action4 ,we have to face the possibility that we may not like his decision1 but that it may be the decision he must make now4 ,for the moment1 the child may say ,no to some admonition or instruction that his parent is giving him1 which may seem like a breakdown and failure of communication4 ,on the other hand1 if it is the child's own decision and if the parent can respect it1 while at the same time protecting the child from its unfortunate consequences1 it may be a step in the process by which the child will eventually say ,yes4 ,reflection will reveal how often we have arrived at an affirmative response by the route of a negative one4 ,the negative response was then seen as part of the process by which we moved toward accepting a truth4 ,preparation for church membership of both young and old needs to employ this concept of communication4 ,the instruction of many church members has been so ambiguous that they are not clear about what they have decided for or against4 ,after all1 we cannot say ,yes to anything without also saying ,no to other things4 ,people who are prepared for church membership should understand and be able to state the reason for the faith they affirm1 and know what alternatives they rejected4 ,they need help also in discovering what their affirmations and denials mean for their way of life4 ,only then will they be able to make strong and enabling commitments4 ,one reason for the uncertain witness of many so-called ,christians and church members is that they have been persuaded to be ,christians without either having that relationship or its alternatives explained to them4 ,young people in particular need help in knowing what they are choosing against in order that they may be unambiguously for what they have chosen4 ,in an age when values are confused and people's need for clear-cut loyalties is great1 it is tragic that the church's communication is confused4 ,let us try1 therefore1 to communicate in ways that will help people to speak their own yeas and nays with clarity and conviction4 ,the ,agent of ,communication ,this thought brings us naturally to a consideration of the church as the agent of communication4 ,the church1 as the fellowship of the ,holy ,spirit1 is the instrument that ,god created to speak and act for ,him in each generation4 ,our human response to ,his calling us to be ,his people and servants produced the church as an institution1 with its organizational and denominational divisions4 ,as any perceptive person realizes1 there is often conflict between the church as the fellowship of the ,holy ,spirit and the church as institution4 ,as institution1 the church faces the temptation of being more concerned about itself than about ,god and ,his purposes for ,his people4 ,as we saw in ,mr4 ,churchill's remarks1 in ,chapter ,i1 the church can become so preoccupied with itself that it loses its sense of responsibility for its mission to the world4 ,we saw also that the relationship between the church and the world is intended to be close1 for the world is the sphere of ,god's action1 and the church is the means of ,his action4 ,the church1 therefore1 must be found at work in the world1 and must feel within itself the tension between the saving purposes of ,god and the self-centered purposes of man4 ,this is what might be called creative tension4 ,the maintaining of this creative tension requires that the church as institution be open constantly to the reforming vitality of the ,holy ,spirit1 and church people should be open-minded1 adaptable1 and ready to live for ,god experimentally4 ,they must be prepared to face the crises of life as they occur individually and socially with courage and a desire to lead the way for their fellow men4 ,instead of this1 we find that church people have the reputation of being ultra-conservative1 reactionary1 and lovers of the status quo4 ,the children of light1 as it were1 are being dragged along by the children of darkness1 and are being compelled by them to face up to responsibilities which they ought to have assumed in the name of ,god years before anyone else4 ,of course1 the record of the church is not altogether negative4 ,in many places the leadership and the membership of the church have courageously pioneered the way in times of crisis and change4 ,this experimental approach to life and crisis ought to be more characteristic of the church than it is4 ,where it does not exist1 it is safe to assume that the membership is serving itself rather than the ,spirit of ,god4 ,the church that is preoccupied with itself can no more express love for others than can a self-centered individual4 ,church members who are primarily concerned about the maintenance of a church and its educational unit on a particular corner in a certain town create a diseased organization4 ,it suffers from a condition which1 in an individual1 would be called hypochondria4 ,it is necessary1 of course1 for an individual to give some attention to his diet1 cleanliness1 and health in order that he may live his life and do his work4 ,likewise1 the church needs to give some attention to its maintenance1 for it needs to be nourished in its gathered life in order that it may do its work in its dispersed life4 ,the decisive role of the church is not in the church's church1 but in the world3 ministering to people at the beginning of and during their married lives1 accompanying them in and through their marital failures1 and helping them to learn from their experiences so that if they marry again they may do so with more understanding and resourcefulness2 guiding them in the raising of their children1 and helping them to correlate the insights of the social sciences that throw light on the nature and meaning of human development1 especially the ultimate or religious meanings of that development2 helping them find their place in the world's work with as much meaning as possible1 and nurturing in them a faith and courage that makes it possible for them to face the conflicts1 temptations1 and sins of modern industrial life2 standing by them in all the crises that they encounter in the course of their human existence2 encouraging them to advance in company with the most creative minds on the frontier of human exploration and experimentation2 and fearlessly traveling with them as they wrestle with the changing value structures of each new generation1 and guiding them in the use of their leisure4 ,but most of all1 in and through all of these ways1 the church's task is to try to reveal to men that1 though their identity in the world may be confused and lost1 in their relationship with ,god they are known and loved4 ,the church1 as a fellowship of men1 should exist not only to proclaim this truth in the abstract1 but to live it in the sphere of the personal and social4 ,various ,concepts of ,ministry ,every congregation and every member of a congregation needs to ask what image of the church governs its life1 because our images can be idols that keep the church from being the instrument of ,god's action1 and because that image can keep us from being persons in whom the ,spirit of ,god can be incarnate4 ,such an examination calls for that sort of rethinking of our conception of the ministry that the ,reverend ,mr4 ,gates called for in our first chapter4 ,the conception of the ministry held by both ministers and laymen will naturally reflect their conception or image of the church4 ,here both the ordained member and the lay member are caught in the grip of stereotypes that threaten to stifle the vitality of the church's ministry4 ,especially is this true in a time like our own1 when the social order is undergoing radical changes4 ,all too often lay people assume that the problems of the ministry and of the church belong to the clergy alone4 ,many conscientious ministers today1 erroneously assuming this responsibility1 are confused as to what their role is4 ,the problem of ministerial roles belongs to the whole church4 ,it is not easy in this time of transition for ministers to be sure of what is expected of them4 ,they sense or see clearly that the old images and patterns of the minister of the gospel do not fit the present time1 and1 therefore1 are not safe ones to follow4 ,nor do the unsettled conditions of our civilization give very clear-cut clues for the formation of new and relevant concepts of the ministry4 ,consequently1 many ministers1 including far too many young ones1 seek refuge in different stereotypes which fail to serve the church1 and only provide them with the means of evading the real challenges of their task4 ,what1 then1 are some of these stereotypes8 ,first1 some ministers settle for a stereotype of the priesthood4 ,they seek to recapture and transplant in our age an earlier and relevant priestly vitality that succeeds today only in assembling the dry bones or external forms of that role4 ,or1 they may succumb to the preacher stereotype4 ,under the influence of that image1 they think of the preacher as a performer1 a sermon as a performance1 and the congregation as an audience4 ,that image is partly a product of the monological understanding of communication1 and partly a result of the human need to justify oneself by an oversimplified function4 ,the proclamation of the ,holy ,word as mere content and without dialogical intent is not true preaching of the gospel4 ,holy words were never meant to be used to justify ministerial function4 ,the ,word of ,god justifies us1 but our words about the ,word of ,god do not justify us4 ,furthermore1 the ,living ,word did not enter the world imperialistically1 and that ,word should not be preached presumptively now1 but with the expectation of having to engage the world responsibly4 ,still other ministers try to find a contemporary concept of ministry by modeling themselves after one of the respected patterns of our society3 the business executive1 the physician1 or the group therapist4 ,but as controlling images of the church's ministry1 these are not comprehensive1 and they too tend to become constricting stereotypes4 ,then there is the stereotype of the local church1 which is still thought of as a parish in a nineteenth-century neighborhood sense4 ,in most places the parish community is no longer the center of people's common life4 ,the neighborhood in which the church is located is an area to which people come home from their varied activities in order to sleep4 ,and for an increasing number of men whose work keeps them on the road1 even sleeping at home occurs only on occasional week ends4 ,these and other stereotypes stifle the full power of the ministry and keep it from being equal to today's task4 ,too many ministers1 in consequence1 feel alone and separated from their people1 and are bewildered by the complexity of their work and the ambiguous results of their efforts4 ,lay people1 on the other hand1 receive little help in overcoming their stereotypes of the ministry and gravitate to a concept of the church that is hard to distinguish from a middle-class country club or a social service center4 ,another complicating influence is the current emphasis on the lay ministry4 ,the general stress on the priesthood of all believers had made both clergy and laity less sure about the role of the clergy1 even to the point1 figuratively speaking1 of seeming to unordain the ordained1 and without clearly defining the ministry of the lay member4 ,is there an answer to these confusions and ambiguities8 ,what can clergy and laity now do to find their present and new role in the life of the church and world8 ,there is an answer to these questions which1 if followed1 will open the ministry of the whole church to the renewing vitality of the ,holy ,spirit4 ,first1 the role of the clergy and the concepts of it are the responsibility of the whole church4 ,but the clergy are more conscious of the problems of the church and of the ministry1 and they should1 therefore1 share them with the laity4 ,ministers make the mistake of keeping their problems1 which are really the problems of the church1 to themselves1 instead of making sure that the rest of the church members are aware of and assuming responsibility for them4 ,second1 if the clergy are to share these concerns with the laity1 they must break through the stereotypes held by both groups as described earlier4 ,there is evidence that both ministers and laity are suffering restraints as a result of their false images of each other4 ,the question is3 ,do the clergy dare to reveal themselves as spiritual leaders who do not always know the answers1 and who themselves need desperately to be a part of a church that is a supportive and accepting fellowship8 ,when asked why they do not discuss problems of the church within the church1 ministers often reply3 ,what would my people think of me8 ,i'm supposed to be the answer man4 ,the truth is that many laymen welcome being released from false images of the clergy4 ,third1 ministers1 therefore1 need to be dialogists rather than monologists4 ,this might turn out to be the appropriate concept of their role for this day4 ,as representatives of the gospel1 which was born of the full meeting and full interchange between ,god and man in ,christ1 the minister must learn to engage in dialogue with his people1 and to participate in that dialogue with ,god which goes on in their living4 ,the great questions of the church and the ministry are not going to be solved by the ordained ministers alone1 but by the clergy and the laity accepting communication with each other as a part of their common ministry1 and together bringing the gospel into dialogue with the world4 ,it is imperative that ministers and people talk to each other deeply1 not about the housekeeping of the church1 but about the church and its message1 about its place in and relation to the world1 and about its ministry1 including the respective roles of clergy and laity4 ,this kind of persistent1 continuing talk is imperative for two reasons3 first1 it brings out and correlates the truth that is in man about these matters2 and1 second1 the ,holy ,spirit reveals the truth of ,christ to and through men who give themselves to each other in earnest search for the truth4 ,the ,church and the ,world in ,dialogue ,we may conclude1 therefore1 that the problems of the ordained ministry in the world today are the problems of the church4 ,members of the church1 including the clergy1 must take the risks of communication1 which are the risks of creativity1 and talk with one another about their concerns4 ,we must do this with the expectation that ,god will speak and act through our dialogue together1 so that it will become our dialogue with ,him4 ,out of this will come new insights and concepts for our respective roles1 with a new awareness of our task for ,christ in the world4 ,it would seem1 then1 that our most effective starting point for a new and relevant image of ourselves for our task today is that of men who are in dialogue with ,god through their dialogue with their people4 ,the spirit of this dialogue1 however1 must be the ,spirit of ,christ4 ,the form of the ministry needs to be rethought in each age1 but it must be formed by a double focus on ,christ's ministry and the need of the world today4 ,some of this dialogue1 of course1 has already been going on1 and out of it certain insights have already appeared about the relation of the clergy and the laity4 ,in the gathered church1 with the focus on the worship1 pastoral1 educational1 and organizational life1 the ordained member is the chief minister and the lay members are his assistants4 ,this does not mean that the lay people are working for the pastor and that their loyalty is to him4 ,instead1 it means that both are working together for ,christ and their loyalty is to ,him4 ,within that relationship the congregation has called a member1 usually trained and ordained1 to direct it in performing the church's functions4 ,the minister is entrusted1 for example1 with the educational work of the church4 ,some of his educational responsibility is delegated to the organization known as the church school4 ,a few laymen are selected and professionally trained to be directors of ,christian education2 others from the congregation are trained to be the teachers1 but1 as such1 they are serving as assistants to the one who is officially responsible for that activity4 ,likewise1 when laymen are used in church visitation1 they do so as assistants to the minister1 to whom this official responsibility is delegated4 ,on the other hand1 in the work of the dispersed church1 which is active in and serving the world1 the chief minister is the layman who1 in the home or in the office1 on the street or in the shop1 in the school or in the university1 or wherever the work of the world is going on1 is the church in that situation and must be the minister of ,christ there4 ,the ordained man1 in this aspect of the church's work1 is the assistant or resource person4 ,this concept of the complementary relationship between the ordained and the unordained should inform the church's gathered life4 ,the sermon1 the preparation for church membership1 all adult education programs1 and the general ministry of the church1 need to be conditioned by the thought that the purpose of the official teachers and preachers and administrators of the church's program is to prepare and guide the people of ,god in the performance of their work in the world1 as representatives of ,christ there4 ,resources need to be created in the church's program whereby people can come back from their ministry in the world1 be helped to understand what has happened1 and by reflection upon it learn how more effectively to be the church in the world4 ,for this reason1 seminars for parents need to be held in order that they may receive assistance in understanding their role as ministers of the church in the home4 ,seminars for businessmen and professional people also are indicated for the same reason4 ,a point of focus for all church membership courses should be the question3 ,when you become a member of the church1 how are you going to exercise your ministry in the world8 ,this orientation could be the source of a new evangelism that would make its witness heard in the depth and detail of human life4 ,the ,reunion of the ,church ,we turn now to consider some of the implications of what we have been thinking for the reunion of the church4 ,if the church is the instrument of ,god's action in the world1 and its members are supposed to be the incarnations of ,his ,spirit by means of which ,he accomplishes ,his purpose1 the condition1 as well as the concept of the church1 is important4 ,one of the tragedies of ,christendom is the fact that the body of ,christ is so divided and its parts live in such competitive relationship that the purposes of ,god are obscured and blocked4 ,movements toward reunion have borne fruit1 with the result that some denominations have resolved their differences and reunited4 ,but much more progress needs to be made1 if the church is to be equal to the demands that modern life is making on it for spiritual leadership4 ,in each denomination there are clergymen and laymen who have erroneous concepts and understandings and expectations of the other denominations4 ,i direct a training center which is attended by clergy and laymen from many denominations4 ,these people often are surprised to discover1 as a result of studying together the church's nature and purpose1 how much they have in common4 ,they discover that doctrinal differences are not as great as they had thought1 that there are no denominational differences built into human nature or into human problems1 and that they have many resources in common1 namely1 the ,god-given and redeemed resources of human relationships1 the ,scriptures1 prayer1 preaching1 pastoral care1 and teaching4 ,many of them have been heard to say1 ,i am glad to have had it revealed to me that in some ways our differences are more apparent than real4 ,this kind of insight1 however1 is not possible unless a situation is created in which representatives of different denominations can begin to trust each other1 and to think and communicate below the level of their differences4 ,it is possible to do this1 however1 and more of it should be done4 ,there is no reason why the local congregation should not invite neighboring congregations to come together with it for a study program for the purpose of finding their common brotherhood in ,christ and their common responsibility for the community in which they live4 ,a divided church does not make a good organ for the communication of love4 ,we come now to the distinctive contribution of our discussion thus far in this matter of the unity of the church4 ,the work of reunion1 of course1 is the work of the ,holy ,spirit4 ,but our response to ,him in approaching reunion should be centered in a study of ,his purposes for the church now and in the future1 rather than on a reconciliation of the differences that occurred in the past4 ,it is exceedingly difficult to undo the mistakes of the past and to change the rigid images and patterns that have been forged by the misunderstandings of our predecessors4 ,merely trying to adjust them to each other will not do4 ,it is something else again to be willing to change these by giving ourselves to a responsible consideration of what ,god wants ,his church to be and to do now1 and thus attempt the reunion in response to present and future values4 ,the images that ,presbyterians and ,methodists and ,episcopalians and ,baptists and ,lutherans now have of themselves might be changed1 thus making possible changes in their images of one another1 and this would certainly open the way to deeper levels of communication4 ,instead of this1 we have members of different denominations thinking rather rigidly about themselves and others4 ,our identities and responsibilities are accepted in terms of differences that were laid down in the past1 and may be held independently of what ,god may be wanting ,his church to do in this moment4 ,the church is not the ,kingdom of ,god2 it is not the end of ,god's action4 ,it is a means to an end1 and1 as circumstances of human life change1 it is not inconceivable that ,god would like to have us make changes in that instrument for man's salvation which ,he created4 ,proposals for the reunion of the churches often arouse the fear that our respective denominations1 to which we are devoted1 will be replaced by what some conceive of as a superchurch4 ,such an arbitrary replacement of church organization is not the objective of the unity movement4 ,instead1 we should respond to the ,spirit's prompting to keep our denominational loyalties subject to our loyalty to ,him1 in order that we may be open to whatever form of church life and action the ,spirit may indicate for our generation4 ,we are concerned about the church as the body of ,christ in our time4 ,as ,his body1 we must find our unity in ,him2 but this may mean that we shall have to abandon some things that have seemed good4 ,some words of our ,lord are hard to bear3 ,he who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me4#bc ,these words of our ,lord are equally applicable to all other relationships1 including our denominational ones4 ,it does not follow1 however1 that our denominational devotion is of itself disloyal to ,christ1 any more than our devotion to our loved ones is disloyal4 ,we do need1 however1 to make sure that we love and serve ,him1 and not something or someone else4 ,our concepts of ourselves and of others may need to be changed4 ,the changing of these images of ourselves and of others is not a responsibility that belongs only to our top-level church leaders4 ,every ,christian in every church in every part of the world must share it1 because each person has a specific responsibility for his relationship with his ,christian brothers1 by whatever name they may call themselves4 ,the parent who seeks to exercise his ministry in his relationship with his child needs also to be open to his responsibility as a member of some historic branch of the ,christian church for the welfare of that church and the relationship of its separate parts4 ,we cannot accept what we have inherited in the form in which we inherited it4 ,our inheritance in many ways is precious and wonderful1 but our human response can deform it4 ,our church can be a means of fulfilling our discipleship1 but it can also be an obstacle to it4 ,therefore1 our membership and participation in a denomination needs to be kept under the constant judgment of ,god in order that we as members may serve ,him more loyally4 ,we are ,christ's1 brought into this relationship by ,his love1 and we can grow in this relationship only as we are guided by ,his ,spirit4 ,everything else is secondary to this4 ,but all other relationships1 if offered to ,him and illumined and corrected by ,his ,spirit1 can be wonderful also1 because then they too become a part of ,his means of reuniting1 by ,his love1 men with one another and with ,him4 ,in this is love1 not that we loved ,god but that he loved us and sent his ,son4444 ,we love1 because he first loved us4#bd #ba ,john #d3e ff4 #bb ,luke #aj3be ff4 #bc ,matt4 #aj3cg4 #bd #a ,john #d3aj1 #ai4 about the author ,reuel ,lanphier ,howe is recognized as one of the foremost counselors in ,america in the field of personal relationships4 ,the authoritative conclusions growing out of his research are presented in this book with earnestness and understanding4 ,he was born in the state of ,washington and received his ,b4,a4 degree from ,whitman ,college in ,walla ,walla4 ,from the ,divinity ,school of the ,protestant ,episcopal ,church1 ,philadelphia1 he received the degrees of ,s4,t4,b41 ,s4,t4,m41 and ,s4,t4,d4 ,he was ordained in the ,protestant ,episcopal ,church in #aibi and #aicj4 ,whitman ,college and the ,chicago ,theological ,seminary have each honored him with the ,d4,d4 degree4 ,in #aica he became ,vicar of ,st4 ,stephen's ,church1 ,elsmere1 ,n4,y4 ,then1 for about twenty years1 he was on the faculties of the ,divinity ,school of the ,protestant ,episcopal ,church1 ,philadelphia1 and the ,protestant ,episcopal ,theological ,seminary in ,virginia4 ,in both of these situations he developed a program of clinical pastoral training to prepare the clergy to minister to the needs of people4 ,he has served on many important committees and boards and has lectured extensively1 both in ,america and abroad4 ,presently he is the director of the ,institute for ,advanced ,pastoral ,studies1 in ,bloomfield ,hills1 ,mich41 a postordination training center for ministers of various denominations who have been in the ministry for at least three years4 ,he takes part in many significant educational programs outside his denomination4 ,one of ,dr4 ,howe's major interests is in the correlation of the insights of theology with those of the social and medical sciences4 ,the enthusiasm with which his lectures and books have been received points to his popularity as a thinker and writer4 ---------------------------------------- ----------------------- ,transcriber's notes3 ,obvious spelling_/typographical and punctuation errors have been corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within the text and consultation of external sources4 page #ab line -#c3 changed ,for ,god so loved the world-- to ',for ,god so loved the world--' page #aaa3 corrected printer's error where lines -#ad1 -#ac1 -#ab should have appeared as lines -#ac1 -#ab1 -#ad ---------------------------------------- -----------------------