,transcrib$ f ! #aijj ,oliphant ,&]son ,f]ri] edition by ,david ,price1 email ccx#jgdpglaf4org ,,!odidacta ,,affici5s ,,inflammans ,santa ,t]esa3 an ,appreciation ,) "s ( ! be/ passages ( ! ,sa9t's ,writ+s ,select$ ,adapt$ & ,arrang$ by ,alex&] ,:yte ,d4,d4 ,oliphant ,&]son ,f]ri] ,sa9t ,m>y ,/reet1 ,ed9burgh1 & #ba ,pat]no/] ,squ>e1 ,london #aijj ,?ird ,edition ,complet+ #fjjj copies ,ed9burgh3 ,t4 & ,a4 ,,con/able1 ,pr9t]s to h] ,maje/y ,,appreciation ,,& ,,introduction ,) a view to ! "w ( my classes ?is session1 ,i took old ,abraham ,woodhead's two black-lett] qu>tos ) me to ! ,engad9e la/ ,july4 ,& ,i sp5t e ra9y morn+ & e tir$ ev5+ ( t memorable holiday mon? 9 ! society ( ,santa ,t]esa & h] excell5t old-,engli% translator4 ,till1 ev]1 z ,i cross$ ! ,mort]at* & ! ,roseg1 & climb$ ! hills ar\nd ,maloggia & ,pontres9a1 a voice w\ld come aft] me1 say+ to me1 ,:y %\ld y n %>e all ?is spiritual pr(it & intellectual delight ) y\r ,sabba? ev5+ congregations1 & ) y\r "y m5's & "y wom5's classes8 ,:y %\ld y n introduce ,santa ,t]esa to h] daught]s 9 ,ed9burgh8 ,= h] daught]s !y are1 s soon & z long z !y live 9 self-k & 9 self-d5ial1 9 humility & 9 meekness1 & especially 9 unceas+ pray] = !mselves & = o!rs4 ,& ,i am n )\t "s assurance t 9 ?is pres5t lecture ,i am bo? he>+ & obey+ "o ( ^? same locutions t ,t]esa he>d s frequ5tly1 & obey$ ) su* in/ancy & fidelity & fruitfulness4 99 99 99 99 99 ,lu!r 0 born 9 #adhc1 & he nail$ 8 n9ety-five !ses to ! door ( ! ,univ]sity ,*ur* ( ,witt5b]g on ! #ca/ ,octob] #aeag4 ,loyola 0 born 9 #adia1 & ,xavi] 9 #aejf1 & ! ,society ( ,jesus 0 e/abli%$ 9 #aecd4 ,isabella ! ,ca?olic 0 born 9 #adea1 & our own ,prote/ant ,elizabe? 9 #aecc4 ,! ,spani% ,inquisition began to sit 9 #adhc1 ! ,brevi>y 0 f9ally settl$ 9 #aefh1 & ! ,armada 0 de/roy$ 9 #aehh4 ,columbus 0 born 9 #addf1 & he set out on 8 great ent]prise 9 #adib4 ,c]vantes 0 born 9 #aedg1 & ! ,fir/ ,"p ( 8 immortal "w 0 publi%$ 9 #afje4 ,& x is to be read 9 ,santa ,t]esa's ,brevi>y to ?is day t ,t]esa ! ,s9n] 0 born on ! #bi? day ( ,m>* #aeae1 at five o'clock 9 ! morn+4 ,%e di$ 9 #aehb1 & 9 #afbb %e 0 publicly canonis$ at ,rome along ) ,loyola & ,xavi] & two o!r ,spani% sa9ts4 ,t]esa 0 greatly bless$ 9 bo? h] p>5ts4 ',x help$ me mu* t ,i nev] saw my fa!r or my "m respect any?+ 9 any "o b goodness4' ,h] fa!r 0 a great read] ( ! be/ books1 & he took great pa9s t 8 *ildr5 %\ld =m ! same happy habit & %\ld c>efully cultivate ! same excell5t ta/e4 ,h] "m1 :ile a ,*ri/ian g5tlewoman ( ! fir/ social /&+1 did n %>e h] husb&'s love ( s]i\s lit]ature4 ,%e pass$ f> too mu* ( h] %ort lifetime among ! romances ( ! day1 till h] daught] has to confess t %e took no little h>m f ! books t did h] "m no h>m b pa/ime to read4 ,z = o!r ?+s1 h] fa!r's h\se 0 a p]fect model ( ! v be/ morals & ! v be/ mann]s4 ,alonso de ,cep$a 0 a well-born & a well-br$ ,spani% g5tleman4 ,he came ( an anci5t & an illu/ri\s ,ca/ilian /ock2 &1 ?\gh n a ri* man1 8 h\sehold enjoy$ all ! nobility ( bre$+ & all ! culture ( m9d & all ! ref9em5t ( ta/e = :i* ,spa9 0 s fam\s 9 t great age4 ,all h] days1 & 9 all h] ups & d[ns 9 life1 we cont9ually trace back to ,t]esa's noble bir? & noble upbr++ no little ( h] supreme /atel9ess ( deportm5t & s]5ity ( mann] & *ivalry ( "*4 ,t]esa 0 a p]fect ,spani% lady1 z well z a "m 9 ,israel1 & no "o :o ev] conv]s$ ) h] c\ld = a mom5t fail to obs]ve t ! olde/ & be/ blood ( ,spa9 mantl$ 9 h] *eek & %one 9 h] eye4 ,a lion encompass$ by crosses 0 "o ( ! qu>t]s ( h] fa!r's coat ( arms4 ,& ,t]esa took t up & add$ out ( x a new glory to all h] fa!r's h]$it>y hon\rs4 ,= 8 daught] 0 all h] days a lioness palisad$ r\nd ) crosses1 till by means ( !m %e 0 trans=m$ into a lamb4 ,b1 all ! "t1 ! lioness 0 /ill lurk+ !re4 ,t]esa's 0 "o ( ^? sov]eign s\ls t are born f "t to "t z if to %[ u :at our race 0 creat$ = at fir/1 & = :at x is /ill de/9$4 ,%e 0 a que5 among wom54 ,%e 0 9 intellect ! complete equal1 & 9 /ill bett] ?+s ?an intellect f> ! sup]ior1 ( ,isabella & ,elizabe? !mselves4 ,z %e says 9 an outspok5 autobiographic passage1 h]s 0 "o ( ^? out/&+ & t[]+ s\ls on :i* a ?\s& eyes & tongues are cont9ually set )\t any "o und]/&+ !m or compreh5d+ !m4 ,h] com+ greatness ( s\l is =ese5 by "s ( h] biograph]s 9 ! attempt :i* %e made :ile yet a *ild to escape away into ! c\ntry ( ! ,moors 9 se>* ( an e>ly m>tyrdom1 s t %e might see h] ,savi\r all ! soon]1 & /& 9 ,8 pres5ce all ! pur]4 ',a woman1' says ,cra%aw1 '= angelical height ( speculation3 = mascul9e c\rage ( p]=mance1 m ?an a woman2 :o1 :ile yet a *ild1 outran maturity1 & dur/ plot a m>tyrdom4 ,sc>ce _h %e le>nt to lisp ! "n ,( m>tyr1 yet %e ?9ks x %ame ,life %\ld s long sport ) t brea?1 ,:i*1 sp5t1 c buy s brave a dea?4 ,sc>ce _h %e blood en\gh to make ,a guilty sword blu% = h] sake2 ,yet has %e he>t d>es hope to prove ,h[ mu* less /rong is dea? ?an love4 ,be love b !re1 let poor six ye>s ,be pos$ ) ! mature/ fe>s ,man trembles at1 we /raight %all f9d ,love kn[s no nonage1 nor ! m9d4' ,t]esa's "m di$ j :5 h] daught] 0 at t dang]\s age 9 :i* a "y girl ne$s a wise "m mo/2 '! age :5 virtue %\ld beg9 to gr[1' z %e says h]self4 ,t]esa 0 an extraord9>ily h&some & attractive "y lady1 & ! k ( t1 z %e tells u1 made h] v va91 & puff$ up h] he>t ) fooli% imag9ations4 ,%e has a p[]ful *apt] 9 ! op5+ ( h] ,autobiography on dang]\s companion%ips 9 ! days ( y\?4 ',oh t all p>5ts w\ld take w>n+ by me1 & w\ld look c>efully into _! *ildr5's e>ly fri5d%ips6' ,%e suff]$ t]ribly f bad heal? all h] days1 & t sev]e *a/isem5t began to fall on h] :ile %e 0 yet a beautiful girl4 ,x 0 a succession ( s]i\s illnesses1 tak5 along ) h] fa!r's scrupul\s c>e ov] h]1 t br\ght ,t]esa back to ! simple piety ( h] e>ly *ildhood1 & fix$ h] = life 9 an extraord9>y devotion to ,god1 & to all ! ?+s ( ,god4 ,:5 su* a *ange ( he>t & "* comes to a "y woman among ourselves1 %e usually seeks out "s c>e] ( religion & *>ity to :i* %e c devote h] life4 ,%e is f\nd lab\r+ among ! poor & ! sick & ! *ildr5 ( ! poor1 or %e goes abroad to =eign mission "w4 ,9 ,t]esa's l& & day a ,religi\s ,h\se 0 ! und]/ood & univ]sal refuge = any "y woman :o 0 9 e>ne/ ab\t h] duty to ,god & to h] own s\l4 ,9 ^? ,h\ses su* "y wom5 seclud$ !mselves f all society & gave !mselves up to ! c>e ( ! poor & ! "y4 ,9 ! m /rict & enclos$ ( ^? retreats ! inmates nev] came out ( doors at all1 b :olly seque/]$ !mselves up to a secret life ( au/]ity & pray]4 ,?is 0 ! ideal life l$ 9 ^? ,h\ses = religi\s wom54 ,b ,t]esa soon f\nd out ! trem5d\s mi/ake %e _h made 9 leav+ h] fa!r's family-fireside = a s-call$ ,religi\s ,h\se4 ,no soon] _h %e ent]$ x ?an %e 0 plung$ headlong into ^? v same 'pe/il5t amusem5ts1' ! m]e approa* ( :i* _h made h] flee to ?is suppos$ asylum4 ,?\gh %e is compos+ h] ,autobiography "u ! %>p eyes ( h] confessors1 & :ile %e is writ+ ) a submissiv5ess &1 inde$1 a s]vility t is h] only weakness1 ,t]esa at ! same "t is bold en\gh & hone/ en\gh to tell u h] own exp]i5ces ( mona/ic life 9 language ( />tl+ /r5g? & outspok5ness4 ',a %ort-cut to hell4 ,if p>5ts w\ld take my advice1 !y w\ld r m>ry _! daught]s to ! v poore/ ( m51 or else keep !m at home "u _! own eye4 ,if "y wom5 w be wick$ at home1 _! wick$ness w n long be hidd5 at home2 b 9 mona/]ies1 su* z ,i speak (1 _! wor/ wick$ness c be completely cov]$ up f e human eye4 ,& all ! "t ! poor ?+s are n to blame4 ,!y only walk 9 ! way t is %[n !m4 ,_m ( !m are to be mu* piti$1 = !y hone/ly wi% to )draw f ! _w1 only to f9d !mselves 9 t5 times worse worlds ( s5suality & all o!r devilry4 ,o my ,god6 if ,i might ,i w\ld fa9 speak ( "s ( ! occasions ( s9 f :i* ,?\ did/ deliv] me1 & h[ ,i ?rew myself into !m aga94 ,& ( ! risks ,i ran ( utt]ly %ipwreck+ my "* & good "n & f :i* ,?\ did/ rescue me4 ,o ,"l ( my s\l6 h[ %all ,i be able to magnify ,?y grace 9 ^? p]il\s ye>s6 ,at ! v "t t ,i 0 (f5d+ ,!e mo/1 ,?\ did/ prep>e me by a mo/ pr(\nd compunction to ta/e ( ! sweetness ( ,?y recov]ies & consolations4 ,9 tru?1 ,o my ,k+1 ,?\ did/ adm9i/] to me ! mo/ spiritual & pa9ful ( *a/isem5ts3 = ,?\ did/ *a/ise my s9s ) great assurances ( ,?y love & ( ,?y great m]cy4 ,x makes me feel beside myself :5 ,i call to m9d ,?y great grace & my great +ratitude4' ,?is leads u up to ! conception & comm5cem5t ( t great "w to :i* ,t]esa d$icat$ ! :ole ( h] aft] life1--! re=mation & ext5sion ( ! ,religi\s ,h\ses ( ,spa94 ,! root-&-bran* re=mation ( ,lu!r & 8 ,g]man & ,swiss colleagues _h n laid mu* hold on ,spa92 & ! little hold x _h laid on h] native l& _h nev] rea*$ to ,t]esa4 ,_h ,lu!r & ,t]esa b met3 _h ,melan*?on & ,t]esa b met3 _h ! be/ books ( ! ,g]man & ,swiss ,re=mation b come into ,t]esa's h&s3 _h %e be5 some:at less submissive1 & some:at less ob$i5t1 & some:at less completely ! slave ( h] ecclesia/ical sup]iors2 _h %e b once ent]$ into t intellectual & spiritual lib]ty :]e) ,*ri/ makes ,8 p free1--:at a la/+ bless+ ,t]esa might h be5 made to h] native l&6 ,b1 z x 01 ,t]esa's re=mation1 :ile x 0 ! salvation ( h]self & ( multitudes m :o came "u x1 yet z a mona/ic exp]im5t & a *ur* movem5t1 x end$ 9 ! /r5g!n+ & ! p]petuation ( t dete/able sy/em ( intellectual & spiritual tyranny :i* has be5 ! dea? ( ,spa9 f t day to ?is4 ,t]esa p]=m$ a spl5did s]vice inside ! ,*ur* to :i* %e belong$3 b t s]vice 0 :olly conf9$ to ! ,religi\s ,h\ses t %e f\nd$ & re=m$4 ,t]esa's 0 int5d$ to be a k9d ( c\nt]-re=mation to ! re=mation ( ,lu!r & ,melan*?on & ,valdes & ,val]a4 ,& su* 0 ! tal5t & ! fai? & ! en]gy %e br\ght to be> on ! "w %e und]took1 t1 _h x be5 bett] direct$1 x might h be5 bless$ to pres]ve h] belov$ native l& at ! head ( mod]n ,*ri/5dom4 ,b1 :ile t 0 n to be1 x is ! imm5se tal5t1 & ! unceas+ toil1 & ! spl5did fai? & self-surr5d] t ,t]esa br\ght to be> on h] intramural re=mation2 &1 all ?r\gh t1 on ! work+ out ( h] own salvation1--x is all ^! ?+s t g to make ,t]esa's long life s memorable & s impressive1 n only 9 h] own age & l& & *ur*1 b :]ev] greatness ( m9d1 & nobl5ess ( he>t1 & sanctity ( life1 & /atel9ess ( "* are he>d ( & are e/eem$4 ,t]esa's intellect1 h] %e] p[] ( m9d1 is en\gh ( itself to make h] an int5sely int]e/+ /udy to all ?9k+ m54 ,no "o c op5 h] books )\t confess+ ! spell ( h] p[]ful und]/&+4 ,h] books1 be=e !y 7 books1 absolutely captivat$ & completely conv]t$ to h] unpopul> cause _m ( h] mo/ det]m9$ enemies4 ,aga9 & aga9 & aga9 we f9d h] confessors & h] c5sors admitt+ t bo? h] spiritual exp]i5ces & h] re=mation "w 7 utt]ly di/a/eful & v /umbl+ to !m till !y _h read h] own writt5 acc\nt1 fir/ ( h] life ( pray] & !n ( h] re=mation "w4 ,"o aft] ano!r ( su* m51 & "s ( !m ! highe/ 9 le>n+ & rank & godl9ess1 on read+ h] autobiographic pap]s1 came ov] to be h] fe>less def5d]s & fa/ fri5ds4 ,!re is no?+ m delightful 9 all h] delightful ,autobiography1 & 9 ! f9e 'c5sures' t h be5 pres]v$ conc]n+ x1 ?an to read ( ! great & le>n$ !ologians1 ! responsible *ur* lead]s1 & ev5 ! secret inquisitors :o came "u ! *>m ( h] "* & ! spell ( h] p54 ',%e electrifies ! w1' confess$ "o ( ! be/ judges ( good writ+ 9 h] day4 ,& old ,bi%op ,palafox's tribute to ,t]esa is f> too beautiful to be )held4 ',:at ,i admire 9 h] is ! peace1 ! sweetness1 & ! consolation ) :i* 9 h] writ+s %e draws u t[>d ! be/1 s t we f9d ourselves captur$ r ?an conqu]$1 imprison$ r ?an prison]s4 ,no "o reads ! sa9t's writ+s :o does n pres5tly seek ,god1 & no "o ?r\gh h] writ+s seeks ,god :o does n rema9 9 love ) ! sa9t4 ,i h n met ) a s+le spiritual man :o does n become a passionate admir] ( ,santa ,t]esa4 ,b h] writ+s d n alone imp>t a rational1 int]ior1 & sup]ior love1 b a love at ! same "t practical1 natural1 & s5sitive2 & my own exp]i5ce proves x to me t !re exi/s no "o :o loves h] b w\ld1 if ! sa9t 7 /ill 9 ?is _w1 travel f> to see & speak ) h]4' ,i wi% mu* ,i c\ld add to t ,pet] ( ,alcant>a's m>vell\s analysis ( ,t]esa's exp]i5ces & "*4 ,"u ?irty-?ree heads t great sa9t sums up ,t]esa's "*1 & gives u a noble1 because all unconsci\s1 revelation ( 8 own4 ,& ?\gh ,t]esa has be5 dead = ?ree hundr$ ye>s1 %e speaks to ?is day 9 t same way3 & t too 9 qu>t]s 9 :i* we w\ld little expect to he> h] voice4 ,9 t int5sely int]e/+ novel ( mod]n ,p>isian life1 ,en ,r\te1 ,t]esa takes a *ief "p 9 ! conv]sion & sanctification ( ! prodigal son ^: return to 8 fa!r's h\se is s p[]fully depict$ 9 t /ory4 ,! deeply read & eloqu5t au?or ( t rem>kable book gives u "s ( ! be/ e/imates & descriptions ( ,santa ,t]esa t ,i h any:]e met )4 ',t cool-head$ bus9ess woman 4 4 4 t admirable psy*ologi/ & ( sup]human lucidity 4 4 4 t magnific5t & ov]-aw+ sa9t 4 4 4 %e has v]ifi$ 9 h] own case ! sup]natural exp]i5ces ( ! greate/ my/ics1--su* are h] unp>allel$ exp]i5ces 9 ! sup]natural doma94 4 4 4 ,t]esa goes deep] ?an any l writ] into ! unexplor$ regions ( ! s\l4 ,%e is ! geograph] & hydrograph] ( ! s9ful s\l4 ,%e has drawn ! map ( its poles1 m>k$ its latitudes ( contemplation & pray]1 & laid out all ! int]ior seas & l&s ( ! human he>t4 ,o!r sa9ts h be5 among ^? heights & dep?s & des]ts be=e h]1 b no "o has left u s me?odical & s sci5tific a survey4' ,7 x = no?+ else1 ! *apt]s on my/ical lit]ature 9 ,m4 ,huysmans' unf9i%$ trilogy w\ld make x a valu$ possession to e /ud5t ( ! s\l ( man "u s9 & "u salvation4 ,i await ! completion ( 8 ,pilgrim's ,progress ) great impati5ce & ) great expectation4 ,& !n1 absolutely possess$ z ,t]esa always is by ! mo/ solemn subjects1--h]self1 h] s91 h] ,savi\r1 h] orig9al me?od ( pray] & h] un%>$ exp]i5ces 9 pray]1--%e %[]s ^u u cont9ually gleams & glances ( ! sunnie/ m]rim5t1 amid all h] sighs & te>s4 ,%e roa/s 9 cau/ic ! gross-m9d$1 & ! self-satisfi$1 & ! self-righte\s1 z ,socrates himself nev] roa/$ !m bett]4 ,aga91 l 81 h] irony & h] raill]y & h] satire are sometimes s delicate t x q eludes y = ! fir/ two or ?ree read+s ( ! exquisite page4 ,& !n1 :5 y turn ! leaf1 %e is z o/5tati\sly /upid & ignorant & dep5d5t on y\r sup]ior m9d z ev] ,socrates himself 04 ,till ,i %rewdly suspect t no little ( t 'ob$i5ce' :i* s intoxicat$ & fasc9at$ h] inquisitors1 & :i* to ?is day s exasp]ates "s ( h] biograph]s1 0 l>gely economical & ironical4 ,h] n>r[ cell is report$ to h (t5 res\nd$ ) peals ( laught] to ! sc&al ( "s ( h] si/]s4 ,9 support ( all t1 ,i h m>k$ a score ( ,socratic passages 9 ,woodhead1 & ,dalton1 & ,lewis1 & ,fa!r ,col]idge1 & ,mrs4 ,cunn+hame ,graham4 ,!y are v delici\s passages & v tempt+4 ,b 7 !y once begun !re w\ld be no end to !m4 ,y w believe ,fr\de1 = he is an admitt$ judge 9 all matt]s connect$ ) ! be/ lit]ature1 & he says 9 8 ,qu>t]ly article on ,t]esa's writ+s1 ',! be/ satire ( ,c]vantes is n m da9ty4' ,! great "w to :i* ,t]esa gave up h] :ole life1 aft] h] full conv]sion1 0 ! purification ( ! exi/+ mona/ic sy/em1 & ! multiplication & ext5sion ( ,religi\s ,h\ses ( ! /ricte/1 sev]e/1 mo/ seclud$1 mo/ pray]ful1 & mo/ sa9tly life4 ,%e _h be5 told by ^? %e too mu* tru/$1 t ! ,*ur* ( ,*ri/ 0 be+ torn 9 pieces 9 ,g]many1 & 9 ,switz]l&1 & 9 ,france1 & 9 ,engl& by a great outbreak ( h]etical error2 &1 :ile ! ,society ( ,jesus & ! ,secret ,inquisition 7 e/abli%$ to cope ) all su* h]esy1 ,t]esa set h]self to c\nt]act x by a widespread comb9ation ( unceas+ p5ance & int]cessory pray]4 ,x 0 a zeal )\t k2 b !re c be no d\bt ab\t ! s9c]ity1 ! s+le-m9d$ness1 & ! /r5g? ( ! zeal4 ,= =ty z h>d-work+ ye>s z ev] any woman sp5t 9 ?is _w1 ,t]esa lab\r$ accord+ to h] be/ light to pres]ve ! purity & ! unity ( ! ,*ur* ( ,*ri/4 ,& ! /r5g? & ! sagacity ( m9d1 ! tact1 ! bus9ess tal5ts1 ! t5acity ( w1 ! pati5ce1 ! endurance1 ! p]sev]ance1 ! sleepless wat*fulness1 & ! ab\nd+ pray]fulness t %e br\ght to be> on ! re=mation & multiplication ( h] =tresses ( def5ce & attack 9 t holy w>1 all tak5 toge!r1 make up "o ( ! mo/ rem>kable pages 9 ! :ole hi/ory ( ! ,*ur* ( ,*ri/4 ,h] difficulties ) ,rome1 ) ! ,inquisition1 ) h] m imm$iate sup]iors1 confessors1 & c5sors1 &1 mo/ ( all1 ) ! ignorance1 ! /upidity1 ! laz9ess1 ! malice1 & ! lies ( ^? monks & nuns ^: re=mation %e 0 det]m9$ on3 h] endless j\rneys3 h] negotiations ) *ur*-lead]s1 l&[n]s1 & tradesm5 9 select+ & secur+ sites1 & 9 erect+ new religi\s h\ses3 ! adv5tures1 ! accid5ts1 ! ent]ta9m5ts %e met )3 & ! f9e temp]1 ! good hum\r1 ! fasc9at+ "*1 ! w9n+ mann]s %e ev]y:]e exhibit$2 &1 )al1 h] incomp>able fai? 9 ! ,liv+ ,god1 & ! exquisite inw>dness1 unconqu]able assurance1 & ab\nd+ fruitfulness ( h] own & un%>$ me?od & secret ( pray]1--_h ,t]esa n liv$ & di$ 9 ,spa91 & _h %e n sp5t h] life & done h] "w "u ! ,roman ob$i5ce1 h] "n w\ld h be5 a h\sehold ^w 9 ,scotl&4 ,z x is1 %e is n :olly unkn[n or unlov$4 ,& z k ext5ds1 & love1 & good-w2 & z suspicion1 & fe>1 & retaliation1 & p>ty-_s die out among u1 ! tru? ab\t ,t]esa & multitudes m w become e/abli%$ on cle>] & deep] & broad] f\ndations2 & we %all be able to hail bo? h] & multitudes m l h] z our bro!rs & si/]s 9 ,*ri/1 :om hi!rto we h hat$ & despis$ because we did n "k !m1 & _h be5 poison$ aga9/ !m4 ,i am a conspicu\s case 9 po9t myself4 ,& :5 ,i h be5 conqu]$ by a little desultory read+ & by a little ef=t aft] love no man ne$ despair4 ,& if y w li/5 to ?is lecture ) a good & hone/ he>t3 ) a he>t t delights to he> all ?is good report ab\t a fell[-believ]3 !n ,he :o has begun t good "w 9 y w p]fect x by books & by lectures l ?is1 & f> bett] ?an ?is1 till y are tak5 absolutely captive to t *>ity :i* rejoice? n 9 iniquity1 b rejoice? 9 ! tru?3 & :i* be>e? all ?+s1 believe? all ?+s1 hope? all ?+s1 endure? all ?+s4 ,foll[ aft] *>ity1 & beg9 ) ,santa ,t]esa4 ,=bid x1 mighty ,love1 let no fond hate ,( names or words s f> prejudicate2 ,s\ls are n ,spani>ds too2 "o fri5dly flood ,( baptism bl5ds !m all into "o blood4 ,:at s\l soe'er 9 any language c ,speak heav5 l h]s1 is my s\l's c\ntryman4 ,b ! greate/ & ! be/ tal5t t ,god gives to any man or woman 9 ?is _w is ! tal5t ( pray]4 ,& ! be/ usury t any man or woman br+s back to ,god :5 ,he comes to reckon ) !m at ! end ( ?is _w is a life ( pray]4 ,& ^? s]vants be/ put _! ,"l's money to ! ex*ang]s :o rise e>ly & sit late1 z long z !y are 9 ?is _w1 ev] f9d+ out & ev] foll[+ aft] bett] & bett] me?ods ( pray]1 & ev] =m+ m secret1 m /eadfa/1 & m spiritually fruitful habits ( pray]3 till !y lit]ally pray )\t ceas+1 & till !y cont9ually /rike out into new ent]prises 9 pray]1 & new a*ievem5ts1 & new enri*m5ts4 ,x 0 ?is t fir/ drew me to ,t]esa4 ,x 0 h] s+ul> orig9ality 9 pray] & h] complete captivity to pray]4 ,x 0 ! "t %e sp5t 9 pray]1 & ! refuge1 & ! peace1 & ! sanctification1 & ! p[] = c>ry+ on h>d & unrequit$ "w t %e all h] life f\nd 9 pray]4 ,x 0 h] fidelity & h] utt] surr5d] ( h]self to ?is fir/ & la/ ( all h] religi\s duties1 till x became m a delight1 &1 inde$1 m an indulg5ce1 ?an a duty4 ,) ,t]esa x 0 pray] fir/1 & pray] la/1 & pray] always4 ,) ,t]esa lit]ally all ?+s 7 sanctifi$1 & sweet5$1 & made fruitful by pray]4 ,9 ,t]esa's writ+s pray] holds mu* ! same place t x holds 9 ! be/ m5 & wom5 ( ,holy ,scripture4 ,if ,i 7 to say t ab\t "s ( ! ladies ( ! ,scotti% ,cov5ant1 y w\ld easily believe me4 ,b y mu/ believe me :5 ,i tell y t ab\t a ,spani% lady1 second to none ( !m 9 hol9ess ( life1 ev5 if h] holy life is n all ca/ 9 our m\ld4 ,all :o h read ! autobiographic ,apologia w rememb] ! f9e passage 9 :i* its au?or tells u t ev] s9ce 8 conv]sion !re h be5 two1 & only two1 absolutely self-lum9\s be+s 9 ! :ole univ]se ( be+ to him1--,god & 8 own s\l4 ,n[1 ,i d n rememb] t ,newman ev5 once speaks ab\t ,t]esa 9 any ( 8 books1 b ,i always ?9k ( him & h] toge!r 9 ?is great respect4 ,,god is to !m bo?1 & to !m bo? ,he is a rew>d] ( !m t dilig5tly seek ,him4 ,& x is j "h1 at ! v comm5cem5t & c5tre ( div9e ?+s1 t we all make su* %ipwreck & come s %ort4 ,! s5se ( ! reality ( div9e & unse5 ?+s 9 ,t]esa's life ( pray] is simply miracul\s 9 a woman /ill liv+ among ?+s se5 & temporal4 ,h] fai? is truly ! sub/ance ( ?+s hop$ =1 & ! evid5ce ( ?+s n se54 ,our ,"l 0 z real1 z pres5t1 z ne>1 z visible1 & z affable to ?is extraord9>y sa9t z ev] ,he 0 to ,m>?a1 or ,m>y1 or ,m>y ,magdal5e1 or ! woman ( ,sam>ia1 or ! "m ( ,zeb$ee's *ildr54 ,%e prep>$ ,him :]e to lay ,8 head2 %e sat at ,8 feet & he>d ,8 ^w4 ,%e *ose ! bett] "p1 & ,he ackn[l$g$ to h]self & to o!rs t %e _h done s4 ,%e wa%$ ,8 feet ) h] te>s1 & wip$ !m ) ! hair ( h] head4 ,%e _h be5 =giv5 mu*1 & %e lov$ mu*4 ,he said to h]1 ,m>y1 & %e answ]$ ,him1 ,rabboni4 ,& ,he gave h] messages to deliv] to ,8 disciples1 :o _h n wait$ = ,him z %e _h wait$4 ,till %e 0 able to say to !m all t %e _h se5 ! ,"l1 & t ,he _h spok5 su* & su* ?+s )9 h]4 ,& h5ce arises :at ,i may call ! q extraord9>y purity & spirituality ( h] life ( pray]4 ',defecate' is ,goodw9's fav\rite & con/ant ^w = ! pure/1 ! mo/ rapt1 ! mo/ ador+1 & ! mo/ spiritual pray]4 ',i h kn[n m5'--x mu/ h be5 himself--':o came to ,god = no?+ else b j to come to ,him1 !y s lov$ ,him4 ,!y scorn$ to soil ,him & !mselves ) any o!r err& ?an j purely to be alone ) ,him 9 ,8 pres5ce4 ,fri5d%ip is be/ kept up1 ev5 among m51 by frequ5t visits2 & ! m free & defecate ^? frequ5t visits are1 & ! less occasion$ by bus9ess1 or necessity1 or cu/om !y are1 ! m fri5dly & welcome !y are4' ,n[1 ,i h sometimes wond]$ :at took ,t]esa s (t51 & kept h] s long1 alone ) ,god4 ,till ,i rememb]$ ,goodw9's classical passages ab\t defecat$ pray]1 & und]/ood some?+ ( :at is involv$ & :at is to be exp]i5c$ 9 pure & imm$iate communion ) ,god4 ,&1 !n1 f all t x surely foll[s1 t no "o is fit = "o mom5t to h an adv]se or a ho/ile m9d1 or to pass an adv]se or a ho/ile judgm5t1 on ! div9e manife/ations t came to ,t]esa 9 h] unp>allel$ life ( pray]2 no "o :o is n a man ( l pray] himself2 no1 nor ev5 !n4 ,i "k all ! explanations t h be5 put =w>d = ,t]esa's 'locutions' & revelations2 b aft] anxi\sly weigh+ !m all1 ! simple/ explanation is also ! mo/ sci5tific1 z x is ! mo/ scriptural4 ,if our asc5d+ ,"l actually said :at ,he is report$ to h said ab\t ! way t ,he & ,8 ,fa!r w always rew>d all love to ,him1 & ! keep+ ( all ,8 comm&m5ts2 !n1 if !re is any?+ true ab\t ,t]esa at all1 x is ?is1 t f ! day ( h] full conv]sion %e liv$ ) all h] might t v life :i* has all ^! transc5d5t promises spok5 & seal$ to x4 ,by h] life ( fai? & pray] & p]sonal hol9ess1 ,t]esa made h]self 'capable ( ,god1' z "o describes x1 & ,god came to h] & fill$ h] ) ,himself to h] utmo/ capacity1 z ,he said ,he w\ld4 ,at ! same "t1 mu* z ,i tru/ & hon\r & love ,t]esa1 & mu* good z %e has be5 made ( ,god to me1 %e 0 /ill1 at h] be/1 b an imp]fectly sanctifi$ woman1 & h] rew>ds & exp]i5ces 7 correspond+ly imp]fect4 ,b if a holy life be=e su* manife/ations 7 made to h]1 & a /ill holi] life aft] !m--if t is any te/ ( ! tru? & reality ( su* transc5d5t & sup]natural matt]s1--on h] own humble & ador+ te/imony1 & on ! n[ extort$ & n[ spontane\s te/imony ( absolutely all :o liv$ ne> h]1 /ill m humility1 meekness1 l[ly- m9d$ness1 heav5ly-m9d$ness & pray]fulness demon/rably foll[$ ^? inw>d & spiritual revelations to h] ( h] ,"l4 ,9 %ort & 9 sure1 ye %all "k !m by _! fruits4 ,d m5 ga!r grapes ( ?orns1 or figs ( ?i/les8 ,on ! :ole1 !n1 ,i = "o am /rongly dispos$ t[>d ,t]esa1 ev5 9 ! mu*-inculpat$ matt] ( h] inw>d voices & visions4 ,! wi% may v possibly be fa!r to ! ?\ght3 b my ?\ght leans to ,t]esa1 ev5 9 h] mo/ a/\nd+ locutions & revelations2 !y answ] s entirely to my read+ ( our ,"l & ( ,8 words4 ,i take sides1 on ! :ole1 ) ^? !ologians ( h] day1 :o began by d\bt+1 b end$ by believ+ 9 ,t]esa & by imitat+ h]4 ,!y 7 l$ to rejoice t any contempor>y & fell[-s9n] _h atta9$ to su* fell[%ip ) ,god3 & ,i am con/ra9$ to take sides ) !m4 ',"o day1 9 pray]1 ! sweetness 0 s great t ,i c\ld n b contra/ x ) ! place ,i des]v$ 9 hell4 ,! sweetness & ! light & ! peace 7 s great t1 comp>$ ) x1 ev]y?+ 9 ?is _w is vanity & lies4 ,i 0 fill$ ) a new rev]5ce = ,god4 ,i saw ,8 maje/y & ,8 p[] 9 a way ,i _c describe1 & ! vision kept me 9 great t5d]ness & joy & humility4 ,i _c help mak+ mu* ( t :i* l$ me s ne> to ,god4 ,i knew at t great mom5t :at x is = a s\l to be 9 ! v pres5ce ( ,god ,himself4 ,:at mu/ be ! condesc5sion ( ,8 maje/y see+ t 9 s %ort a "t ,he left s great an impression & s great a bless+ on my s\l6 ,o my ,"l1 consid] :o %e is ^u :om ,?\ art be/[+ su* unhe>d-( bless+s6 ,do/ ,?\ =get t my s\l has be5 an abyss ( s98 ,h[ is ?is1 ,o ,"l1 h[ c x be t su* great grace has come to ! lot ( "o :o has s ill des]v$ su* ?+s at ,?y h&s6' ,he :o c read t1 & a hundr$ passages z good z t1 & :o %all /raightway set himself to sne] & sc(f & disp>age & f9d fault1 he is well on ! way to ! s9 aga9/ ! ,holy ,gho/4 ,at any rate1 ,i w\ld be if ,i did n rev]e & love & imitate su* a sa9t ( ,god4 ,giv5 ,god & ,8 ,son & ,8 ,holy ,_s3 giv5 s9 & salvation & pray] & a holy life2 &1 ) _m drawbacks1 ,t]esa's 0 j ! life ( self-d5ial & rep5tance & pray] & communion ) ,god t we %\ld all live4 ,x is n ,t]esa :o is to be bemoan$ & blam$ & call$ bad names4 ,x is we :o d all t to h] :o are beside ourselves4 ,x is we :o ne$ ! beam to be tak5 out ( our own eye4 ,t]esa 0 a my/]y & an (f5ce2 &1 aga91 an enc\ragem5t & an example to ! !ologians & ! inquisitors ( h] day j z %e /ill is 9 our day4 ,%e 0 a /umbl+-/one1 or an ensample1 accord+ to ! temp] & disposition & "* ( h] contempor>ies1 & %e is ! same to-day4 ,! press+ "q ) me is n ! tru? or ! falsehood1 ! am\nt ( reality or ! am\nt ( imag9ation 9 ,t]esa's locutions & visions4 ,! press+ "q ) me is ?is1--,:y x is t ,i h no?+ to %[ to myself at all l !m4 ,i ?9k ,i c\ld die = ! tru? ( my ,"l's promise t bo? ,he & ,8 ,fa!r w manife/ ,!mselves to ^? :o love ,him & keep ,8 words2 b ,he nev] manife/s ,himself1 to be call$ manife/ation1 to me4 ,i am driv5 9 %e] desp]ation to believe su* te/imonies & atta9m5ts z ^? ( ,t]esa1 if only to support my fail+ fai? 9 ! words ( my ,ma/]4 ,i _h r believe e syllable ( ,t]esa's s-/agg]+ locutions & visions ?an be left to ?is1 t ev] s9ce ,paul & ,john w5t home to heav5 our ,"l's greate/ promises h be5 s _m idle words4 ,x is op5 to any man to sc(f & sne] at ,t]esa's extraord9>y life ( pray]1 & at ! manife/ations ( ! ,fa!r & ! ,son t 7 made to h] 9 h] life ( pray]1 & "s ( h] biograph]s & c5sors among ourselves h made good use ( _! opportunity4 ,b ,i _c any long] sit ) !m 9 ! seat ( ! scorn]1 & ,i want y all to rise up & leave t evil seat also4 ,"l1 h[ wilt ,?\ manife/ ,?yself 9 "t to come to me8 ,h[ %all ,i atta9 to t fai? & to t love & to t ob$i5ce :i* %all secure to me ! long- )held pres5ce & indwell+ ( ! ,fa!r & ! ,son8 99 99 99 99 99 ,t]esa's ,autobiography1 prop]ly speak+1 is n an autobiography at all1 ?\gh x ranks ) ,! ,confessions1 & ,! ,comm$ia1 & ,! ,grace ,ab\nd+1 & ,! ,reliquiae1 z "o ( ! v be/ ( t great k9d ( book4 ,x is n really ,t]esa's ,life ,writt5 by ,h]self1 ?\gh all t /&s on its title-page4 ,x is only "o "p ( h] life3 x is only h] life ( pray]4 ,! title ( ! book1 %e says 9 "o place1 is n h] life at all1 b ,! ,m]cies ( ,god4 ,_m o!r matt]s come up incid5tally 9 ?is delightful book1 b ! :ole drift & ! real burd5 ( ! book is its au?or's life ( pray]4 ,h] atta9m5ts & h] exp]i5ces 9 pray] s baffl$ & s put out all h] confessors t1 at _! wits' end1 !y enjo9$ h] to draw out 9 writ+ a complete acc\nt ( a secret life1 ! occasional & p>tial discov]y ( :i* s amaz$1 & p]plex$1 & condemn$ !m4 ,& ?us x is t we come to possess ?is unique & incomp>able autobiography3 ?is wond]ful revelation ( ,t]esa's s\l 9 pray]4 ,x is a book 9 :i* we see a woman ( sov]eign intellectual ability work+ out h] own salvation 9 circum/ances s diff]5t f our own t we h ! greate/ difficulty 9 believ+ t x 0 really salvation at all %e 0 s work+ out4 ,till1 z we read 9 humility & 9 love1 we le>n to sep>ate-(f all t is local1 & secul>1 & ecclesia/ical1 & circum/antial1 & !n we imm5sely enjoy & take la/+ pr(it out ( all t :i* is s truly ,ca?olic & s truly spiritual4 ,t]esa 0 an extraord9>y woman 9 e way3 & t comes out on e page ( h] ,autobiography4 ,s extraord9>y t ,i confess !re is a great deal t %e tells u ab\t h]self t ,i d n at all und]/&4 ,%e 0 ,spani%1 & we are ,scotti%4 ,%e & we are wide z ! poles asund]4 ,h] lot 0 ca/ ( ,god 9 ! sixte5? c5tury1 :]eas our lot is ca/ 9 ! n9ete5?4 ,%e 0 a ,roman ,ca?olic my/ic1 & we are ,evangelical ,prote/ants4 ,b x is "o ( ! great rew>ds ( /udy+ su* a life z ,t]esa's to be able to *ange places ) h] s z to und]/& h] & love h]4 ,%e 01 )\t any d\bt or contradiction1 a great sa9t ( ,god4 ,& a great sa9t ( ,god is m wor?y ( our /udy & admiration & imitation & love ?an any o!r /udy or admiration or imitation or love on ! face ( ! e>?4 ,& ! fur!r away su* a sa9t is f u ! bett] %e is = our /udy & admiration & imitation & love1 if we only h ! s5se & ! grace to see x4 ,c]vantes himself might h writt5 ,t]esa's ,book ( ! ,f\ndations4 ,c]ta9ly he nev] wrote a bett] book4 ,= myself ,i h read ,t]esa's ,f\ndations twice at any rate = e once ,i h read ,c]vantes' ma/]piece4 ,= lit]ature1 = hum\r1 = wit1 = nature1 = photographic pictures ( ! "t & ! p1 h] ,f\ndations are a ma/]piece also3 & !n1 ,t]esa's pictures are pictures ( ! be/ p 9 ,spa94 ,& !re 0 no f9] p 9 ! :ole ( ,*ri/5dom 9 t day ?an ! be/ ( ! ,spani% p4 ,god _h mu* p 9 ! ,spa9 ( t day1 & he :o is n glad to he> t w nev] h a place among !m4 ,! ,spa9 ( t c5tury 0 full ( family life ( ! mo/ poli%$ & ref9$ k9d4 ,&1 ) all _! decl5sions & corruptions1 ! ,religi\s ,h\ses ( ,spa9 enclos$ multitudes ( ! mo/ sa9tly m5 & wom54 ',i nev] read ( a h]mit1' said ,dr4 ,johnson to ,boswell 9 ,/4 ,&rews1 'b 9 imag9ation ,i kiss 8 feet3 ,i nev] read ( a mona/]y1 b ,i c\ld fall on my knees & kiss ! pavem5t4 ,i h ?\ght ( retir+ myself1 & h talk$ ( x to a fri5d1 b ,i f9d my vocation is r 9 active life4' ,x 0 su* mona/]ies z ,t]esa f\nd$ & rul$ & wrote ! hi/ory ( t made su* a /urdy ,prote/ant z ,dr4 ,johnson 0 say su* a ?+ z t4 ,! ,book ( ! ,f\ndations is ,t]esa's own acc\nt1 writt5 also "u sup]ior ord]s1 ( t great gr\p ( religi\s h\ses :i* %e f\nd$ & adm9i/]$ = s _m ye>s4 ,& ! lit]ature into :i* %e puts all ^? ye>s is lit]ature ( ! fir/ wat]4 ,a ?\s& times ,i h be5 rem9d$ ( ,don ,quixote & ,san*o ,panza z ,i read ,t]esa's acc\nt ( h] j\rneys1 & ( ! p1 & ( ! escapades1 & ( ! ent]ta9m5ts %e met )4 ,yes1 q z good z ,c]vantes6 yes1 q z good z ,goldsmi?6--,i h caught myself exclaim+ z ,i read & laugh$ till ! te>s ran d[n my *eeks4 ,?is is lit]ature1 ?is is art )\t ! art1 ?is is lit]>y f9i% )\t ! lab\r3 & all laid out to ! f9e/ ( all uses1 to tell ( ! "w ( ,god1 & ( all ! ent]prises1 provid5ces1 defeats1 successes1 recomp5ses1 connect$ ) x4 ,! ,f\ndations is a ,*ri/ian classic ev5 9 ,woodhead's & ,dalton's & ,david ,lewis's ,engli%1 :at mu/ x !n be to ^? to :om ,t]esa's exquisite ,spani% is _! "m-tongue6 ,if ,vaughan _h b read ,! ,f\ndations1 :i* he is hone/ en\gh to confess he _h only glanc$ at 9 a ,fr5* translation1 x w\ld surely h done some?+ to make him reconsid] ! indec5t & disgraceful attack :i* he makes on ,t]esa4 ,8 *apt] on ,t]esa is a contemptu\s & a malici\s c>icature4 ,vaughan has (t5 be5 ( great s]vice to me1 b if ,i _h gone by t mislead+ *apt]1 ,i w\ld h lo/ weeks ( mo/ int5sely int]e/+ & spiritually pr(itable read+4 ,vaughan's extravagant misrepres5tation ( ,t]esa w h5ce=? make me hesitate to receive 8 o!r judgm5ts till ,i h read ! books myself4 ,i %all n t>ry "h to controv]t ,vaughan's utt]ly untru?ful *apt] on ,t]esa1 ,i %all cont5t myself ) sett+ ov] aga9/ x ,cra%aw's exquisite ,hymn & ,apology1 & especially 8 magnific5t ,flam+ ,he>t4 ,t]esa's ,way ( ,p]fection is a truly f9e book3 full ( fre%ness1 sugge/iv5ess1 & p[]4 ,s mu* s1 t ,i "q if ,william ,law's ,*ri/ian ,p]fection w\ld ev] h be5 writt51 b t ,t]esa _h writt5 on t same subject be=e him4 ,i d n say t ,law plagi>is$ f ,t]esa1 b "s ( 8 v be/ passages are pla9ly inspir$ by 8 great pr$ecessor4 ,y w ?ank me = ! foll[+ eloqu5t passage f ,mrs4 ,cunn+hame ,graham1 :i* s felicit\sly *>act]ises ?is great book1 & t 9 language su* z ,i c\ld n comm&4 ',to my ?9k+ ,t]esa is at h] be/ 9 h] ,way ( ,p]fection ) its bur/s ( impassion$ eloqu5ce2 its %rewd & cau/ic irony2 its acute & p5etrat+ k ( human "*1 ! same 9 ! conv5t z 9 ! _w2 above all 9 its sympa!tic & t5d] in/9ct = ! ne$s & difficulties ( h] daught]s4 ,! ,p]fection repres5ts ! f9i%$ & magnific5t fabric ( ! spiritual life4 ,h] words r+ ) a /range t]s5ess & e>ne/ness z %e "h p5s h] spiritual te/am5t4 ,%e po9ts out ! mis*iev\s foibles1 ! little meannesses1 ! _s ( cantank]\sness & /rife1 :i* long exp]i5ce ( ! cloi/] _h %[n h] 7 ! besett+ s9s ( ! conv5tual life4 ,%e places be=e !m ! l(ti] /&>d ( ! ,cross4 ,h] words1 direct & simple1 r+ out true & cle>1 produc+ some:at ! solemn effect ( a ,comm9ation ,s]vice4' ,/rong z t e/imate is1 ,! ,p]fection des]ves e ^w ( x & m4 ,t]esa ?\ght t h] ,mansions 0 "o ( h] two be/ books1 b %e 0 surely f> wrong 9 t4 ,! ,mansions1 sometimes call$ ,! ,int]ior ,ca/le1 to me at any rate1 is a mo/ %apeless1 monoton\s1 & we>isome book4 ,t]esa _h a spl5did imag9ation1 b h] imag9ation _h n ! ar*itectonic & dramatic quality t is necess>y = c>ry+ out su* a conception z t is :i* %e has laid 9 ! gr\nd-plan ( ?is book4 ,no "o :o has ev] read ,! ,purgatorio or ,! ,holy ,w> c\ld h pati5ce ) ! %apeless & inconsequ5t ,mansions4 ,!re is no?+ t is new 9 ! matt] ( ! ,mansions2 !re is no?+ t is n f\nd 9 a f> bett] %ape 9 "s ( h] o!r books2 & "o is cont9ually we>i$ out by h] utt] inability to h&le ! imag]y :i* %e w n let alone4 ,at ! same "t1 ! p]sev]+ read] w come cont9ually on *>act]i/ic ?+s t are nev] to be =gott5 z he climbs ) ,t]esa f /r5g? to /r5g? on h] way to h] ,fa!r's ,h\se4 ,to my m9d ,t]esa is at h] v be/1 n 9 h] ,mansions :i* %e made s mu* (1 b 9 h] ,lett]s :i* %e made no?+ (4 ,i ?9k ,i pref] h] ,lett]s to all h] o!r books4 ,a great s]vice 0 done to ?is f9e field ( lit]ature :5 ,t]esa's lett]s 7 collect$ & publi%$4 ,:at ,augu/9e's editor has s well said ab\t ,augu/9e's lett]s ,i w\ld borr[ & w\ld apply to ,t]esa's lett]s4 ,all h] o!r works receive fre% light f h] lett]s4 ,! subjects ( h] m elaborate writ+s are all h&l$ 9 h] lett]s 9 a f> easi]1 a f> m natural1 & a f> m attractive mann]4 ,x is 9 h] lett]s t we fir/ see ! size & ! /r5g? & ! sweep ( h] m9d1 & discov] ! des]v$ def]5ce t is paid to h] on all h&s4 ,burd5$ *ur*m51 inquir+ /ud5ts 9 ! spiritual life1 p]plex$ confessors1 angry & remon/rat+ monks1 husb&s & wives1 matrons & maid5s1 all f9d _! way to ,"m ,t]esa4 ,great bundles ( lett]s are deliv]$ at ! door ( h] cell e day1 & %e works at h] answ]s to ^? lett]s till a bird beg9s to flutt] 9 ! top ( h] head1 aft] :i* h] physician w n suff] h] to write m ?an twelve lett]s at a d[nsitt+4 ,& :at lett]s !y are1 all seal$ ) ! "n ( ,,jesus--%e w seal n[ ) no o!r seal4 ,:at lett]s ( a /rong & s\nd m9d g out "u t seal6 ,:at a bus9ess head6 ,:at %rewdness1 sagacity1 insight1 frankness1 boldness1 ar*ness1 raill]y1 d[nright fun6 ,& all z full ( spl5did s5se z an egg is full ( meat4 ,if ,&rew ,bon> _h only read ,spani%1 & _h edit$ ,t]esa's ,lett]s z he has edit$ ,ru!r=d's1 we w\ld h _h t treasure 9 all our h\ses4 ,z x is1 ,fa!r ,col]idge long ago fell on ! happy idea ( compil+ a ,life ( ,t]esa out ( h] extant lett]s1 & he has at la/ c>ri$ out 8 idea1 if n 9 all its orig9al fulness1 yet 9 a v admirable & praisewor?y way4 ,b ,i w\ld l to "k h[ _m ( ! boa/$ lit]>y & religi\s p ( ,ed9burgh h b\ght & read ,fa!r ,col]idge's delightful book4 ,a hundr$8 ,t58 ,five8 ,i d\bt x4 ,or h[ _m h s mu* z borr[$ f ! circulat+ libr>y ,mrs4 ,cunn+hame ,graham's fir/-rate book8 ,( ,t]esa's ,lett]s1 t greate/ liv+ au?ority on ,t]esa says--',t long s]ies ( epi/ol>y correspond5ce1 s en*ant+ 9 ! orig9al4 ,x is 9 h] lett]s t ,t]esa is at h] be/4 ,!y reveal all h] %rewdness ab\t bus9ess & money matt]s2 h] tal5t = adm9i/ration2 h] int5se int]e/ 9 life1 & 9 all t is pass+ ar\nd h]4 ,h] lett]s %[ ,t]esa z ! ,ca/ilian g5tlewoman :o n only treats on t]ms ( p]fect equality ) p ( ! highe/ rank 9 ! k+dom1 b is 9 ! greate/ reque/ by !m4 ,h] lett]s1 ( :i* probably only a ti! rema9s1 %[ u h[ m>vell\sly ! horizon ( h] life _h exp&$1 & h[ rapidly h] fame _h gr[n4 ,p]haps no m f9i%$ specim5 ( epi/ol>y correspond5ce has ev] be5 p5n$ ?an ^? lett]s1 writt5 9 ! press ( multif>i\s occupations1 & (t5 late at night :5 ! re/ ( ! conv5t 0 sleep+4' ,h] confessor1 :o comm&$ ,t]esa to ?r[ h] ,comm5t>y on ! ,song ( ,solomon into ! fire1 0 a s5sible man & a true fri5d to h] reputation1 & ! nun :o snat*$ a few leaves out ( ! fire did ,t]esa's fame no s]vice4 ,judg+ ( ! :ole by ! "p pres]v$ to u1 !re mu/ h be5 _m ?+s scatt]$ up & d[n ! de/roy$ book well wor?y ( h] be/ p54 ,! 'in/ance ( self-e/eem' :i* ,t]esa s delightfully n>rates is well wor? all ! burnt f+]s its pres]vation _h co/ ! devot$ si/]3 & up & d[n ! *>r$ leaves !re are passages on conduct & "*1 on ob$i5ce & humility & pray]1 t ,t]esa alone c\ld h writt54 ,all ! same1 z a :ole1 h] ,comm5t>y on ! ,song is bett] 9 ! fire4 ,h] ,sev5 ,m$itations on ! ,"l's ,pray] ran no dang] ( ! c5sor's fire4 ,i h _h occasion to read all ! be/ expositions ( ! ,"l's ,pray] 9 our language1 & ,i am b\nd to say t = orig9ality & /rik+ sugge/iv5ess ,t]esa's ,sev5 ,m$itations /&s alone4 ,aft] ,i _h writt5 t extravagant s5t5ce ,i w5t back & read h] little book ov] aga91 s sure 0 ,i t ,i mu/ h ov]prais$ x1 & t ,i w\ld n be believ$ 9 :at ,i h said conc]n+ x4 ,b aft] ano!r read+ ( ! ,m$itations ,i am embold5$ to let ! /rong praise /& 9 all its orig9al /r5g?4 ,i h passages m>k$ 9 abundance to prove to demon/ration ! e/imate ,i h =m$ ( ?is beautiful book1 b ,i mu/ =ego myself ! pleasure & ! pride ( quot+ !m4 ,sixte5 ,augu/9ian ,exclamations aft] hav+ ,communicat$3 sixty-n9e ,advices to ,h] ,daught]s1 & a small collection ( love-enflam$ ,hymns1 complete :at rema9s to u ( ,t]esa's writ+s4 ,t]esa di$ ( h>d "w & worry & %ameful neglect1 almo/ to %e] />vation4 ,b %e _h meat to eat t all ,anne ,b>?olomew's rema9+ mites c\ld n buy = h] dy+ "m4 ,&1 /rong 9 ! /r5g? ( t spiritual meat1 ,t]esa rose (f h] dea?b$ to f9i% h] "w4 ,%e inspect$ ) all h] wont$ quickness ( eye & love ( ord] ! :ole ( ! ,h\se into :i* %e _h be5 c>ri$ to die4 ,%e saw ev]y?+ put into its prop] place1 & e "o answ]+ to _! prop] ord]1 aft] :i* %e att5d$ ! div9e (fices = ! day1 & !n w5t back to h] b$ & summon$ h] daught]s ar\nd h]4 ',my *ildr51' %e said1 'y mu/ p>don me mu*2 y mu/ p>don me mo/ ( all ! bad example ,i h giv5 y4 ,d n imitate me4 ,d n live z ,i h liv$4 ,i h be5 ! greate/ s9n] 9 all ! _w4 ,i h n kept ! laws ,i made = o!rs4 ,i besee* y1 my daught]s1 = ! love ( ,god1 to keep ! rules ( y\r ,holy ,h\ses z ,i h nev] kept !m4 ,o my ,"l1' %e !n turn$ to ,him & said1 '! h\r ,i h s mu* long$ = has surely come at la/4 ,! "t has surely come t we %all see "o ano!r4 ,my ,"l & ,savi\r1 x is surely "t = me to be tak5 out ( ?is bani%m5t & be = ev] ) ,!e4 ,! sacrifices ( ,god are a brok5 _s1 a brok5 & a contrite he>t1 ,o ,god1 ,?\ wilt n despise4 ,ca/ me n away f ,?y pres5ce1 & take n ,?y ,holy ,_s away f me4 ,create 9 me a clean he>t1 ,o ,god4' ',a brok5 & a contrite he>t2 a brok5 & a contrite he>t1' 0 h] cont9ual cry till %e di$ ) ^! words on h] lips1 ',a brok5 & a contrite he>t ,?\ wilt n despise4' ,&1 ?us1 ) ! mo/ p5it5tial ( ,david's p5it5tial ,psalms 9 h] m\?1 & ) ! holy c&le ( h] ,*ur* 9 h] h&1 ,t]esa ( ,jesus w5t =? f h] bani%m5t to meet h] ,bridegroom4 ,o sweet inc5di>y6 %ew "h ?y art ,^u ?is c>cass ( a cold h>d he>t2 ,let all ?y scatt]'d %afts ( light t play ,among ! leaves ( ?y l>ge books ( day1 ,comb9$ aga9/ ?is brea/ at once break 9 ,& take away f me myself & s92 ,?is graci\s robb]y %all ?y b\nty be1 ,& ?y be/ =tune su* fair spoils ( me4 ,o ?\ undaunt$ daught] ( desires6 ,by all ?y d[] ( lights & fires2 ,by all ! eagle 9 !e1 all ! dove2 ,by all ?y lives & dea?s ( love2 ,by ?y l>ge draughts ( intellectual day2 ,& all ?y ?ir/s ( love m l>ge ?an !y2 ,by all ?y brim-fill$ b[ls ( fi]ce desire2 ,by ?y la/ morn+'s draught ( liquid fire2 ,by ! full k+dom ( t f9al kiss ,t seiz$ ?y p>t+ s\l1 & seal$ !e ,82 ,by all ! ,heav5s ?\ ha/ 9 ,him1 7,fair si/] ( ! ,s]aphim672 ,by all ( ,him we h 9 !e2-- ,leave no?+ ( myself 9 me4 ,let me s read ?y life1 t ,i ,unto all life ( m9e may die4 ,,"s ,,select$ ,,passages 99 ,! translations 9 ! foll[+ pages are ma9ly ^? ( ,woodhead & ,lewis4 ,,t]esa ,,on ,,h]self ,i _h a fa!r & a "m :o bo? fe>$ ,god4 ,my fa!r _h 8 *ief delight 9 ! read+ ( good books1 & he did 8 be/ to give 8 *ildr5 ! same happy ta/e4 ,?is also help$ me mu*1 t ,i nev] saw my fa!r or my "m reg>d any?+ b goodness4 ,?\gh possess+ v great beauty 9 h] y\?1 my "m 0 nev] kn[n to set any /ore by x4 ,h] app>el1 ev5 9 h] e>ly m>ri$ life1 0 t ( a woman no long] "y4 ,h] life 0 a life ( suff]+1 h] dea? 0 mo/ ,*ri/ian4 ,aft] my "m's removal1 ,i began to ?9k too mu* ab\t my dress & my appe>ance1 & ,i pursu$ _m su* l ?+s t ,i 0 nev] prop]ly w>n$ aga9/1 full ( mis*ief ?\gh !y 7 bo? to myself & to o!rs4 ,i too e>ly le>n$ e evil f an immoral relative4 ,i 0 v fond ( ?is woman's company4 ,i gossip$ & talk$ ) h] cont9ually4 ,%e assi/$ me to all ! amusem5ts ,i lov$2 &1 :at 0 worse1 %e f\nd "s v evil amusem5ts = me1 & 9 e way communicat$ to me h] own vanities & mis*iefs4 ,i am amaz$ to ?9k on ! evil t "o bad companion c d2 nor c\ld ,i h believ$ x1 unless ,i _h kn[n x by exp]i5ce4 ,! company & ! conv]sation ( ?is "o woman s *ang$ me t sc>cely any trace 0 left 9 me ( my natural disposition to virtue4 ,i became a p]fect reflection ( h] & ( ano!r :o 0 z bad z %e 04 ,= my education & protection my fa!r s5t me to ! ,augu/9ian ,mona/]y1 9 :i* *ildr5 l myself 7 br\ght up4 ,!re 0 a good woman 9 t religi\s h\se1 & ,i began gradually to love h]4 ,h[ impressively %e us$ to speak to me ( ,god6 ,%e 0 a woman ( ! greate/ good s5se & sanctity4 ,%e told me h[ %e fir/ came to h]self by ! m]e read+ ( ^! words ( ! ,gospel1 ',_m are call$ & few *os54' ,?is good companion%ip began to root out ! bad habits ,i _h br\ght to t h\se ) me2 b my he>t _h by t "t become s h>d t ,i nev] %$ a te>1 no1 n ?\gh ,i read ! :ole ,passion ?r\gh4 ,:5 at la/ ,i ent]$ ! ,religi\s ,h\se ( ! ,inc>nation = life1 our ,"l at once made me und]/& h[ ,he helps ^? :o d any viol5ce to !mselves 9 ord] to s]ve ,him4 ,no "o obs]v$ ?is viol5ce 9 me4 ,!y saw no?+ 9 me b ! greate/ goodwill4 ,at t sore /ep ,i 0 fill$ ) a joy s great t x has nev] :olly left me to ?is day4 ,god conv]t$ ! dryness ( my s\l into ! greate/ t5d]ness1 imm$iately on my tak+ up t cross4 ,ev]y?+ 9 religion 0 n[ a real delight to me4 ,i _h m pleasure n[ 9 sweep+ ! h\se ?an ,i _h 9 all ! balls & dances ,i _h =sak5 = ,8 sake4 ,:5ev] ,i rememb] ^? e>ly days1 x makes me ready to take up any cross :atsoev]4 ,= ,i "k n[ by a long & a v>i\s exp]i5ce t ,8 ,maje/y ri*ly rew>ds ev5 9 ?is life all ! self-d5ial t we d = ,8 sake & s]vice4 ,i "k ?is by _m exp]i5ces2 & if ,i 7 a p]son :o _h to advise & guide ,god's p1 ,i w\ld urge !m to fe> no difficulty :atsoev] 9 ! pa? ( duty3 = our ,god is omnipot5t1 & ,he is on our side4 ,may ,he be bless$ = ev]6 ,am54 ,o my supreme ,good & my true ,re/1 ,i "k n h[ to g on :5 ,i call ^? happy days to m9d1 & ?9k ( all my evil life s9ce !n6 ,my te>s ought to be te>s ( blood4 ,my he>t ought to break4 ,b ,?\1 ,"l1 ha/ borne ) me = almo/ tw5ty ye>s1 till ,i h _h "t to improve4 ,& all t x might be bett] kn[n to me :o ,?\ art & :at ,i am4 ,woe is me1 my ,mak]6 ,i h no excuse1 ,i h only blame4 ,let ,?y m]cy1 ,o ,"l1 re/ on me4 ,o!r wom5 !re h be5 :o h done great de$s 9 ,?y s]vice1 b ,i am good only to talk3 all my goodness ends 9 s _m words3 t is all my s]vice ( ,!e1 my ,god4 ,co/ me :at x may1 let me n g on com+ to ,!e ) idle words & empty h&s1 see+ t ! rew>d ( e "o w be accord+ to 8 works4 ,dep>t n f me1 & ,i c d all ?+s4 ,dep>t f me1 & ,i %all return to :5ce ,i 0 tak51 ev5 to hell4 ,"o ( ! reasons t move me1 :o am :at ,i am1 to write all ?is ev5 "u ob$i5ce1 & to give an acc\nt ( my wret*$ life1 & ( ! graces ! ,"l ha? wr\ght 9 me is ?is1--& w\ld t ,i 7 a p]son ( au?ority1 & !n p w\ld p]haps believe :at ,i say4 ,?is !n is :at ,i w\ld say & repeat cont9ually if any "o w\ld he> me4 ,let no "o ev] say3 ,if ,i fall into s91 ,i _c !n pray4 ,9 ?is ! devil turn$ 8 mo/ dreadful batt]ies aga9/ me4 ,he said to me t x %[$ v little %ame 9 me if ,i c\ld h ! face to pray1 :o _h j be5 s wick$4 ,& "u t sn>e ( ,satan ,i actually z good z gave up all pray] = a ye> & a half4 ,?is 0 no?+ else b to ?r[ myself /raight d[n into hell4 ,o my ,god1 0 !re ev] su* madness z m9e6 ,:]e c\ld ,i ?9k to f9d ei!r p>don = ! pa/1 or p[] = ! "t to come1 b f ,!e8 ,:at folly to ! /umbl] to run away f ! light6 ,let all ^? :o w\ld give !mselves to pray]1 & to a holy life1 look well to ?is4 ,!y %\ld "k t :5 ,i 0 %unn+ pray] because ,i 0 s bad1 my badness became m ab&on$ ?an ev] x _h be5 be=e4 ,rely on ! wait+ & ab\nd+ goodness ( ,god1 :i* is inf9itely great] ?an all ! evil y c d4 ,:5 we ackn[l$ge our vil5ess1 ,he rememb]s x no m4 ,i grew we>y ( s9n+ be=e ,god grew we>y ( =giv+ my s94 ,he is nev] we>y ( giv+ grace1 nor are 8 compassions to be exhau/$4 ,may ,he be bless$ = ev]1 am53 & may all creat$ ?+s praise ,him6 ,i h made a v[--x is kn[n z '! ,t]esian v[1' '! s]aphic v[1' '! mo/ ardu\s ( v[s1' 'a v[ yet unexampl$ 9 ! ,*ur*'1 a v[ nev] to (f5d ,god 9 ! v lea/ matt]4 ,i h v[$ t ,i w\ld r die a ?\s& dea?s ?an d any?+ ( t k9d1 kn[+ ,i 0 do+ x4 ,i am resolv$ also1 nev] to leave any?+ :atsoev] undone t ,i consid] to be /ill m p]fect1 & m = ! hon\r ( our ,"l4 ,co/ me :at pa9 x may1 ,i w\ld n leave su* an act undone = all ! treasures ( ! _w4 ,if ,i 7 to d s1 ,i d n ?9k ,i c\ld h ! face to ask any?+ ( ,god 9 pray]3 & yet1 = all t1 ,i h _m faults & imp]fections rema9+ 9 me to ?is day4 ,,on ,,! ,,godhead ,on "o occasion :5 ,i 0 9 pray] ,i _h a vision 9 :i* ,i saw h[ all ?+s are se5 9 ,god4 ,i _c expla9 :at ,i saw1 b :at ,i saw rema9s to ?is day deeply impr9t$ on my s\l4 ,x 0 a great act ( grace 9 ,god to give me t vision4 ,x puts me to unspeakable confusion1 %ame1 & horror :5ev] ,i recall t magnific5t sight1 & !n ?9k ( my s94 ,i believe t _h ! ,"l be5 pleas$ to s5d me t great revelation ( ,himself e>li] 9 my life1 x w\ld h kept me back f mu* s94 ,! vision 0 s delicate1 s subtle1 & s spiritual1 t my h>d und]/&+ _c1 at ?is di/ance ( "t1 close ) x2 b1 to make use ( an illu/ration1 x 0 some?+ l ?is4 ,suppose ! ,godhead to be a va/ globe ( light1 a globe l>g] ?an ! :ole _w1 & t all our actions are se5 9 t all-embrac+ globe4 ,x 0 some?+ l t ,i saw4 ,= ,i saw all my mo/ fil?y actions ga!r$ up & reflect$ back ^u me f t ,_w ( light4 ,i tell y x 0 a pite\s & a dreadful ?+ to see4 ,i knew n :]e to hide myself1 = t %9+ light1 9 :i* 0 no d>kness at all1 held ! :ole _w )9 x1 & all worlds4 ,y w see t ,i c\ld n flee f its pres5ce4 ,oh t !y c\ld be made to see ?is :o commit de$s ( d>kness6 ,oh t !y b saw t !re is no place secret f ,god3 b t all !y d is done be=e ,him1 & 9 ,him6 ,oh ! madness ( committ+ s9 9 ! imm$iate pres5ce ( a ,maje/y s great1 & to ^: hol9ess all our s9 is s hateful4 ,9 ?is also ,i saw ,8 great m]cifulness 9 t ,he suff]s su* a s9n] z ,i am /ill to live4 ,,on ,,! ,,s\l ,o my ,god1 :at unspeakable suff]+s our s\ls h to endure because !y h lo/ _! lib]ty1 & are n _! own ma/]s6 ,:at tortures come on !m ?r\gh t6 ,i sometimes wond] h[ ,i c live ?r\gh su* agony ( s\l z ,i myself suff]4 ,god be prais$ :o gives me ,8 own life 9 my s\l1 s t ,i may escape f s deadly a dea?6 ,my s\l has inde$ receiv$ great /r5g? f ,8 ,div9e ,maje/y4 ,he has _h compassion on my great mis]y1 & has help$ me4 ,oh1 :at a di/ress x is = my s\l to h to return to hold comm]ce ) ?is _w aft] hav+ _h its conv]sation 9 heav56 ,to h to play a "p 9 ! sad f>ce ( ?is e>?ly life6 ,& yet ,i am 9 a /rait betwixt two4 ,i _c run away f ?is _w4 ,i mu/ rema9 9 x till my dis*>ge comes4 ,b1 meantime1 h[ ke5 is my captivity2 h[ wret*$ 9 my own s\l am ,i4 ,& "o ( my wor/ di/resses is ?is1 t ,i am alone 9 my exile4 ,all ar\nd me p seem to h f\nd _! aim & end 9 life 9 ?is horrible prison-h\se1 & to h said1 ,s\l1 take ?9e ease4 ,b ! life ( my s\l is a life ( incessant tr\ble4 ,! cross is always on my %\ld]2 at ! same "t ,i surely make "s progress4 ,god is ! ,s\l ( my s\l4 ,he engulfs into ,himself my s\l4 ,he enlight5s & /r5g!ns my s\l4 ,he att5ds to my s\l night & day4 ,he gives my s\l m & m grace4 ,?is has n come ab\t ( myself4 ,no ef=t ( m9e br\ght ?is ab\t4 ,8 ,maje/y does x all4 ,& ,he has held me by ! h&1 t ,i might n g back4 ,= ?is reason1 x seems to me1 ! s\l 9 :i* ,god works ,8 grace1 if x walks 9 humility & 9 fe>1 x may be l$ into :atsoev] temptation1 & ?r[n into :atsoev] company1 & x w only ga9 new /r5g? !re1 & w9 new victories & spoils !re4 ,^? are /rong s\ls :i* are *os5 ( ! ,"l to "w = ! s\ls ( o!rs4 ,at ! same "t1 _! be/ /r5g? is n _! own4 ,all t su* s\ls ev] atta9 to & p]=m1 all ^! ?+s only make !m m humble1 & !re=e m /rong2 m able to despise ! ?+s ( ?is _w1 & to lay up _! treasure 9 ^? ?+s :i* ,god ha? prep>$ = !m t love ,him4 ,may x please ,8 ,maje/y t ! great munific5ce ) :i* ,he has dealt ) my s\l1 mis]able s9n] t ,i am1 may h "s weight ) "s ( ^? :o read ?is1 s t !y may be /rong & c\rage\s to give up ev]y?+ at once & mo/ will+ly = su* a ,god6 ,,on ,,god ,,9 ,,! ,,s\l ,?is has done me a great deal ( good1 & x has affect$ me mu* & op5$ my eyes 9 _m ways4 ,x is an ennobl+ ?+ to ?9k t ,god is m 9 ! s\l ( man ?an ,he is 9 aught else outside ( ,himself4 ,!y are happy p :o h once got a hold ( ?is glori\s tru?4 ,9 p>ticul>1 ! ,bless$ ,augu/9e te/ifies t nei!r 9 ! h\se1 nor 9 ! *ur*1 nor any:]e else1 did he f9d ,god1 till once he _h f\nd ,him 9 himself4 ,nor _h he ne$ to g up to heav51 b only d[n into himself to f9d ,god4 ,nay1 he took ,god to heav5 ) him :5 at la/ he w5t !re4 ,n[ consid] :at our ,ma/] tea*es u to say3 ',our ,fa!r :i* art 9 heav54' ,?9k y x conc]ns y little to "k :]e & :at t heav5 is1 & :]e y\r ,heav5ly ,fa!r is to be s\ght & f\nd8 ,i tell y t = vagrant m9ds x matt]s mu* n only to believe aright ab\t heav51 b to procure to und]/& ?is matt] by exp]i5ce4 ,x is "o ( ^? ?+s t /rongly b9d ! und]/&+ & recollect ! s\l4 ,y already "k t ,god is 9 all places3 9 f9e1 t :]e ,god is !re heav5 is1 & :]e ,8 ,maje/y mo/ reveals ,himself !re glory is4 ,consid] aga9 :at ,sa9t ,augu/9e said1 t he s\ght ,god 9 _m places1 till at la/ he came to f9d ,him )9 himself4 ,y ne$ n g to heav5 to see ,god1 or to regale y\rself ) ,god4 ,nor ne$ y speak l\d z if ,he 7 f> away4 ,nor ne$ y cry = w+s l a dove s z to fly to ,him4 ,settle y\rself 9 solitude1 & y w come ^u ,god 9 y\rself4 ,& !n entreat ,him z y\r ,fa!r1 & relate to ,him y\r tr\bles4 ,^? :o c 9 ?is mann] %ut !mselves up 9 ! little heav5 ( _! own he>ts1 :]e ,he dwells :o made heav5 & e>?1 let !m be sure t !y walk 9 ! mo/ excell5t way3 !y lay _! pipe "r up to ! f\nta94 ,to keep ! eyes %ut is an excell5t practice 9 pray]1 because x is a summons & an assi/ance to turn ! eyes ( ! s\l )91 :]e ,god dwells & waits 9 ,*ri/ to be graci\s4 ,acc\nt ?us1 t !re is a great & beautiful palace 9 y\r s\l2 t its /ructure is all ( gold & preci\s /ones2 t y\r gifts & graces are ^? %9+ /ones1 & t ! great] y\r virtues are ! m ^? preci\s /ones sp>kle4 ,&1 also1 t 9 ?is palace ! ,great ,k+ is y\r gue/4 ,he sits on ! inn]mo/ seat ( y\r he>t1 & holds x to be ,8 be/ & brave/ ?rone4 ,?is w seem to "s a silly fiction4 ,& yet1 if y w believe x1 fiction z x is1 x w help y mu*2 y especially :o are wom54 ,= we wom5 sorely want su* assi/ance to our ?\ghts4 ,&1 ,god grant t x be only wom5 :o ne$ su* assi/ance to %[ !m h[ base is ! use !y make ( !mselves4 ,!re %\ld be "s diff]5ce betwe5 u1 bo? m5 & wom51 & ! brute bea/s4 ,! brute bea/s are n[h]e said to be temples ( ,god1 & !y are n[h]e call$ to acc\nt because _! god is _! belly4 ,o great ,god1 ,i tremble to see t ,i h writt5 su* a page z ! above1 be+ su* a wret* z ,i am4 ,my daught]s1 9 _! own goodness1 w be tempt$ to ?9k t all ?is is true ( myself1 & t is a t]rible ?\ght to me4 ,on ! o!r h&1 x is true ( ,god & _! own s\ls4 ,n[ let m5 pass a ?\s& c5sures on me1 & on my way ( tea*+ ! tru?4 ,:at ( t1 if only ,god & ,8 ways be a little bett] kn[n & lov$6 ,my si/]s1 ! ,k+ is 9 ,8 palace all ?is "t4 ,!re are ho/ile invasions ( ,8 bord]s1 & inroads made into ,8 t]ritories1 b ,he abides all ! "t on ,8 ?rone4 ,i smile at ! weakness & unwor?9ess ( all ^? comp>isons ( palaces1 & ?rones1 & %9+ /ones1 & enemies on ! bord]4 ,!y 9 no way satisfy me4 ,b ,i am a woman1 & ,i c f9d out no bett] words = y wom54 ,?9k & say ( my words :at y please4 ,! ?+ t ,i h spok5 to y is ! tru?4 ,,on ,,! ,,love ,,( ,,god ,! true pr(ici5cy ( ! s\l consi/s n s mu* 9 deep ?9k+ or eloqu5t speak+ or beautiful writ+ z 9 mu* & w>m lov+4 ,n[ if y ask me 9 :at way ?is mu* & w>m love may be acquir$1 ,i answ]1--,by resolv+ to d ! w ( ,god1 & by wat*+ to d ,8 w z (t5 z occasion (f]s4 ,^? :o truly love ,god love all good :]ev] !y f9d x4 ,!y seek all good to all m54 ,!y enc\rage all good 9 all m54 ,!y comm5d all good1 !y always unite !mselves ) all good1 !y always ackn[l$ge & def5d all good4 ,!y h no qu>rels4 ,!y be> no envy4 ,o ,"l1 give me m & m ( ?is bless$ love4 ,grant me grace n to quit ?is und]world life till ,i no long] desire any?+1 nor am capable ( lov+ any?+1 save ,!e alone4 ,grant t ,i may use ?is ^w 'love' ) reg>d to ,!e alone1 s9ce !re is no solidity = my love to re/ on save 9 ,!e4 ,! s\l has h] own ways ( und]/&+1 & ( f9d+ 9 h]self1 by c]ta9 signs & great conjectures1 :e!r %e really loves ,8 ,div9e ,maje/y or no4 ,h] love is full ( high impulses1 & long+s to see & to be ) & to be l ,god4 ,all else tires & we>ies out ! s\l4 ,! be/ ( creat$ ?+s disappo9t & torm5t ! s\l4 ,god alone satisfies ! s\l1 till x is impossible to dissemble or mi/ake su* a love4 ,:5 once ,i came to see ! great beauty ( our ,"l1 x turn$ all o!r comel9ess to corruption to me4 ,my he>t c\ld re/ on no?+ & on no "o b ,himself4 ,:5 any?+ else w\ld ent] my he>t ,i _h only to turn my eyes = a mom5t 9 ^u t ,supreme ,beauty t 0 engrav5 )9 me4 ,s t x is n[ impossible t any creat$ ?+ c s possess my s\l z n to be in/antly expell$1 & my m9d & he>t set free by a little ef=t to recov] ! remembrance ( ! goodness & ! beauty ( our ,"l4 ,good ,god6 ,:at a diff]5ce !re is betwe5 ! love ( ! ,creator & ! love ( ! creature6 ,may ,8 ,div9e ,maje/y v\*safe to let u see & ta/e & und]/& some?+ ( ?is be=e ,he takes u out ( ?is prison-h\se life1 = x w be a magnific5t com=t 9 ! h\r ( dea? to "k t we are on our way to be judg$ by ,him :om we h lov$ above all ?+s4 ,we are n go+ to a /range c\ntry1 s9ce x is ,8 c\ntry :om we love & :o loves u4 ,^! ?+s be+ s1 ,i h ?is v day solac$ my s\l ) our ,"l1 & h made my moan to ,him 9 ?is mann]4 ,o my ,"l1 :y keepe/ ,?\ ,?y s]vant 9 ?is mis]able life s long1 :]e all is su* vexation1 & disappo9tm5t1 & manifold tr\ble8 ,& n only keepe/ me s long 9 ?is bani%m5t1 b s hide/ ,?yself f me4 ,is ?is wor?y ( ,!e & ( ,?y great goodness8 ,7 ,i :at ,?\ art1 & w]t ,?\ :at ,i am1 ,?\ w\lde/ n h to endure x at my h&s4 ,i besee* ,!e1 ,o my ,"l1 to consid] t ?is is a k9d ( injury & wrong to proce$ aft] ?is mann] ) "o :o loves ,!e s mu*4 ,?is & ! l h come into my he>t to say3 ?\gh my b$ 9 hell bett] becomes me ?an s to speak to my ,"l4 ,at ! same "t1 ! love ,i be> my ,"l sometimes s consumes me t ,i am beside myself1 till ,i sc>ce "k :at ,i say or d2 & !n ,i f9d myself mak+ su* unbecom+ compla9ts t ,i am amaz$ our ,"l endures !m at my h&s4 ,et]nal praise to s good a ,"l6 ,,on ,,! ,,love ,,( ,,our ,,neighb\r ,!re are only two duties t our ,"l requires ( u1--! love ( ,god1 & ! love ( our neighb\r4 ,&1 9 my op9ion1 ! sure/ sign = discov]+ our love to ,god is our love to our neighb\r4 ,& be assur$ t ! fur!r y advance 9 ! love ( y\r neighb\r1 ! fur!r y are advanc+ 9 ! love ( ,god likewise4 ,b1 oh me1 h[ _m worms lie gnaw+ at ! roots ( our love to our neighb\r6 ,self-love1 self-e/eem1 fault-f9d+1 envy1 ang]1 impati5ce1 scorn4 ,i assure y ,i write ?is ) great grief1 see+ myself to be s mis]able a s9n] aga9/ all my neighb\rs4 ,our ,"l1 my si/]s1 expects works4 ,!re=e :5 y see any "o sick1 compassionate h] z if %e 7 y\rself4 ,pity h]4 ,fa/ t %e may eat4 ,wake t %e may sleep4 ,aga91 :5 y he> any "o comm5d$ & prais$1 rejoice 9 x z mu* z if y 7 comm5d$ & prais$ y\rself4 ,:i*1 inde$1 %\ld be easy1 because :]e humility truly is1 praise is a torm5t4 ,cov] also y\r si/]'s defects z y w\ld h y\r own defects & faults cov]$ & n expos$4 ,z (t5 z occasion (f]s1 lift (f y\r neighb\r's burd54 ,take x (f h] he>t & on ^u y\rself4 ,satan himself w\ld n be ,satan any long] if he c\ld once love 8 neighb\r z himself4 ,endeav\r1 my daught]s1 all y c1 to be affable to all4 ,demean y\rselves s t all :o h to d ) y may love y\r conv]sation1 s z to desire aft] y\r way ( life4 ,let no "o be affright$ or turn$ away f ! life ( virtue & religion by y\r gloom & morosity4 ,?is conc]ns religi\s wom5 v mu*4 ,! m holy !y are1 ! m affable & sociable %\ld !y /udy to be4 ,nev] hold alo( f o!rs because _! conv]sation is n altoge!r to y\r ta/e4 ,love !m1 & !y w love y1 & !n !y w conv]se ) y1 & w become l y1 & bett] ?an y4 ,let n y\r s\l coop itself up 9 a corn]4 ,=1 in/ead ( atta9+ to great] sanctity 9 a pr\d1 & disda9ful1 & impati5t seclusion1 ! devil w keep y company !re1 & w d y\r seque/]$ s\l mu* mis*ief4 ,bury evil affections 9 good works4 ,:]e=e be accessible & affable to all1 & all 9 love4 ,love is an endless en*antm5t1 & spell1 & fasc9ation4 ,,on ,,our ,,s9fulness ,?is is a v fit place = ?9k+ on our w\nds1 & bruises1 & putrify+ sores3 ! bl9dness ( our m9ds1 ! depravity & ! bondage ( our wills1 ! =getfulness ( our memories1 ! slipp]9ess ( our tongues1 ! levity & frivolity ( our he>ts1 ) all _! extravagances1 presumptions1 neglects4 ,9 f9e1 let !re be no spiritual w\nd )9 u1 great or small1 old or new1 :i* we d n daily discov] & lay op5 to our ,sov]eign ,physician1 besee*+ ( ,him a rem$y4 ,?is day x is v prop] to call to m9d ! five f\nta9s ( our ,"l's w\nds1 :i* are /ill op51 & w rema9 op5 till ! la/ day = ! cure ( all ! sores ( our s\ls4 ,& s9ce out ( ,8 w\nds we receive our spiritual heal?1 let u mollify our w\nds ) ! o9tm5t ( mortification & humility & meekness3 9 all ?+s always employ+ ourselves = ! b5efit ( our neighb\r4 ,s9ce1 ?\gh we _c h our ,"l visibly & 9 pres5ce beside u1 we h our neighb\r1 :o = ! ends ( love & lov+ s]vice is z good z our ,"l ,himself4 ,,on ,,! ,,_w ,i saw t ri* & great z %e 01 %e 0 /ill a woman1 & z mu* liable to all mann] ( passion & all womanly weakness z ,i 0 myself4 ,i saw z ,i liv$ 9 h] h\se t rank is ( little wor?1 & ! high] x is1 ! great] ! tr\ble & ! anxiety x br+s ) x4 ,great p mu/ be c>eful ( _! dignity4 ,x w n suff] !m to live at ease4 ,!y mu/ eat at fix$ h\rs & by rule1 = ev]y?+ mu/ be accord+ to _! /ate1 & n accord+ to _! con/itutions4 ,& !y h frequ5tly to take food m fitt$ = _! /ate ?an = _! lik+4 ,s x 0 t ,i came to hate ! wi% to be a great lady4 ,god deliv] me f ?is artificial & evil life6 ,!n1 z to s]vants1 ?\gh ?is lady has v good s]vants1 h[ slight is ! tru/ %e is able to put 9 !m4 ,"o mu/ n be conv]s$ ) m ?an ! re/1 o!rwise he is envi$ & hat$ ( all ! re/4 ,?is ( itself is a slav]y2 & x is ano!r ( ! lies ( ! _w to call su* p ma/]s & mi/resses1 :o1 9 reality1 are no?+ b slaves 9 a ?\s& ways4 ,i really see no?+ good 9 ! _w & its ways b ?is1 t x w n tol]ate ! smalle/ fault 9 ^? :o are n its own4 ,= by detract+1 & fault-f9d+1 & evil-report+ on ! good1 ! _w greatly helps to p]fect !m4 ,he :o w n die to ! _w %all die by x4 ,o wret*$ _w6 ,bless ,god1 my daught]s1 t ,he has *os5 & enabl$ y to turn y\r backs = ev] on a ?+ s base4 ,! _w is to be kn[n by ?is also1 t x e/eems a man n by :at he is1 b by :at he possesses3 by :at is 9 8 purse3 &1 t fail+1 ! hon\r & e/eem ( ! _w in/antly fail also4 ,o our ,"l2 ,supreme ,p[]1 ,supreme ,goodness1 ,supreme ,tru?2 ,?y p]fections are )\t beg9n+ & )\t end4 ,!y are inf9ite & incompreh5sible4 ,!y are a bottomless ocean ( beauty4 ,o my ,god1 t ,i _h ! eloqu5ce ( an angel's spee* to set =? ,?y goodness & ,?y tru?1 & to w9 all m5 ov] to ,!e6 ,,on ,,evil-,,speak+ ,aft] my v[ ( p]fection ,i spake n ill ( any creature1 h[ little soev] x might be4 ,i scrupul\sly avoid$ all approa*es to detraction4 ,i _h ?is rule ev] pres5t ) me1 t ,i 0 n to wi%1 nor ass5t to1 nor say su* ?+s ( any p]son :atsoev]1 t ,i w\ld n h !m say ( me4 ,& z "t w5t on1 ,i succe$$ 9 p]suad+ ^? :o 7 ab\t me to adopt ! same habit1 till x came to be und]/ood t :]e ,i 0 abs5t p]sons 7 safe4 ,s !y 7 also ) all ^? :om ,i s in/ruct$4 ,/ill1 = all t1 ,i h a suffici5tly /rict acc\nt to give to ,god = ! bad example ,i am to all ab\t me 9 "s o!r respects4 ,may x please ,8 ,maje/y to =give me1 = ,i h be5 ! cause ( mu* evil4 ,= "o ?+1 ! devil sometimes fills me ) su* a h>% & cruel temp]3 su* a _s ( ang] & ho/ility at "s p1 t ,i c\ld eat !m up & annihilate !m4 ,at ! same "t1 conc]n+ ?+s said ( myself 9 detraction1 & !y are _m1 & are v prejudicial to me1 ,i f9d myself mu* improv$4 ,^! ?+s make little impression ^u me4 ,i am "u !m z a deaf man t he>s n1 & z a man 9 ^: m\? !re is no retaliation4 ,nay1 ,i almo/ always see t my greate/ detractors h only too good reason = :at !y say4 ,9 ?is way my s\l actually ga9s peace & /r5g? "u detraction1 till x becomes a great fav\r done me1 & a great advantage4 ,^u betak+ myself to pray]1 ,i f9d 9 my he>t nei!r repugnance at my detractors nor enmity4 ,=1 al?\gh1 :5 ,i fir/ he> ! detraction1 x causes me a little disconc]t1 yet n any long-la/+ disquiet or alt]ation4 ,nay1 sometimes :5 ,i see p take pity on me because ( my detractors1 ,i laugh at !m1 s little d all my detractors n[ hurt me4 ,,on ,,self-,,excus+ ,t :i* ,i am n[ to p]suade y to1 namely1 ! n excus+ ( y\rselves1 causes a great confusion 9 me4 ,= x is a v p]fect quality & ( great m]it2 & ,i ought f> bett] to practise :at ,i tell y conc]n+ ?is excell5t virtue4 ,i confess myself to be b little improv$ 9 ?is noble duty4 ,= x is a m>k ( ! deepe/ & true/ humility to see ourselves condemn$ )\t cause1 & to be sil5t "u x4 ,x is a v noble imitation ( our ,"l4 ,7 ,i truly humble1 ,i w\ld desire dise/eem1 ev5 ?\gh hav+ 9 ! matt] 9 h& giv5 no real (f5ce4 ,"h no bodily /r5g? is ne$$1 my daught]s1 nor any "o's assi/ance1 b ,god's4 ,h[ well is ?is writt51 & h[ ill is x practis$ by ! writ]6 ,inde$1 ,i nev] c\ld make trial ( ?is grace 9 any matt] ( consequ5ce1 because ,i nev] he>d ( any "o speak+ ill ( me1 b ,i imm$iately saw h[ f> %ort he came ( ! full tru?4 ,=1 if he 0 wrong or exagg]at$ 9 8 p>ticul>s1 ,i _h (f5d$ ,god mu* m 9 o!r matt]s t my detractor knew no?+ ab\t4 ,&1 me?\ght1 ,god fav\r$ me mu* 9 n proclaim+ my secret s9s to all m54 ,&1 ?us1 ,i am v glad t my detractor %\ld ev] report a trifl+ lie ab\t me1 r ?an ! t]rible tru?4 ,o my ,"l1 :5 ,i rememb] 9 h[ _m ways ,?\ did/ suff] detraction & misrepres5tation1 :o 9 no way des]v$ x1 ,i "k n :]e my s5ses are :5 ,i am 9 su* a ha/e to def5d & excuse myself4 ,is x possible t ,i %\ld desire any "o to speak any good ( me1 or to ?9k x1 :5 s _m ill ?+s 7 ?\ght & spok5 ( ,!e6 ,:at is ?is1 ,o ,"l2 :at d we imag9e to get by pleas+ worms1 or be+ prais$ by !m8 ,:at ab\t be+ blam$ by all m51 if only we /& at la/ blameless be=e ,!e6 ,,on ,,praise1 ,,prec$5cy1 ,,& ,,po9ts ,,( ,,hon\r ,obs]ve c>efully ! /irr+s ( y\r he>t 9 matt]s ( sup]iority4 ,pray to be deliv]$ f su* ?\ghts z ^!3 ,i am old]4 ,i des]ve bett]4 ,i h lab\r$ m4 ,i h m tal5t4 ,su* ?\ghts are ! plague & poison ( ! he>t4 ,believe me1 if !re rema9 9 y any all[$ hank]+s aft] ! praises ( m51 ?\gh y may h sp5t _m ye>s 9 pray]1 or r 9 idle =ms ( pray]1 y h made no progress1 & nev] w1 till y\r he>t is crucifi$ to ! approval & ! praise ( m54 ,if y feel 9 y\rself any po9t ( hon\r1 any pride1 any desire ( em95ce or pre-em95ce1 y mu/ free y\rself f t abom9able bondage1 & = t *a9 !re is no hamm] & file l humility & pray]4 ,among ! re/ ( my great imp]fections ?is 0 "o4 ,i _h v little k ( my ,brevi>y1 or ( t :i* 0 to be sung 9 ! *oir1 & all ! :ile ,i saw t "s o!r novices c\ld in/ruct me4 ,b ,i 0 too pr\d to ask any que/ions4 ,i 0 afraid t my great ignorance %\ld be discov]$4 ,%ortly aft]w>ds a good example 0 set be=e me1 & !n1 :5 ,god _h once op5$ my eyes to my s9ful pride1 ,i 0 cont5t to ask in=mation & ! help ev5 ( little *ildr54 ,& yet1--& ?is surpris$ me1 ,i lo/ no cr$it or hon\r !reby4 ,nay1 x seem$ to me t my ,"l aft] t gave me bett] skill & a bett] memory4 ,i c\ld s+ b v ill1 & ,i 0 tr\bl$ at ?is1 n because ,i fail$ 9 my wor%ip ( ,god1 b because s _m he>d me1 & ?us ,i 0 di/urb$ on ! m]e po9t ( hon\r & praise4 ,i told !m t ,i c\ld n d :at o!rs did1 & :at 0 expect$ ( me4 ,at fir/ ,i _h "s difficulty 9 ?is1 b x soon became bo? natural & pleasant to me to tell ! tru?4 ,by ^! no?+s1--& !y are really no?+s1 & ,i am suffici5tly no?+ :5 su* ?+s c\ld put me to s mu* pa91--& by little & little ,8 ,div9e ,maje/y v\*saf$ to supply me ) /r5g?4 ,i 0 nev] good at ! *oir1 b ,i tri$ to d my "p = x 9 fold+ up ! mantles ( ! s+]s2 &1 me?\ght1 9 t ,i 0 s]v+ ! angels ( ,god :o s well prais$ ,him4 ,i did t also by /eal?1 su* 0 my pride1 & my pride 0 hurt :5 !y discov]$ :at ,i did4 ,o my ,"l1 :o t ev] reads ?is c fail to despise & abhor me8 ,i besee* ,?y ,div9e ,maje/y t ,i may soon be able to leave all su* vanities z ! praise & blame ( m51 & seek ,?y praise only6 ,& !n add ?is1 :i* is wor? kn[+4 ,! devil w n d>e to tempt "o to pride or prec$5cy :o is truly humble because1 be+ v crafty1 he fe>s defeat4 ,if y are truly humble1 y w only gr[ 9 t grace by e temptation to pride or praise4 ,=1 imm$iately on ! temptation1 y w reflect on y\r :ole pa/ life & pres5t "*1 & on ! /up5d\s humility ( ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,& by ^! consid]ations y\r tempt$ s\l w come (f s victori\s1 t ! enemy w ?9k twice be=e he comes back1 = fe> ( a brok5 head4 ,,on ,,humility ,keep y\rselves1 my daught]s1 f t false humility :i* ! devil sugge/s conc]n+ ! greatness ( y\r s9s4 ,= h]eby he is wont to disquiet our s\ls aft] sundry sorts1 & to draw u (f ,holy ,communion1 & also f pray]4 ,x is sometimes a great & a true humility to e/eem ourselves z bad z may be1 b at o!r times x is a false & a spuri\s humility4 ,i "k x1 = ,i h exp]i5c$ x4 ,true humility1 h[ev] great1 does n disquiet nor disord] ! s\l4 ,x comes ) great peace1 & great s]5ity1 & great delight4 ,?\gh we %\ld see our utt] wick$ness1 & h[ truly we des]ve to be 9 hell1 & ?9k t bo? ,god & man mu/ despise & abhor u2 yet1 if ?is be a true humility1 x comes ) a c]ta9 sweetness & satisfaction att5d+ x4 ,?is humility does n /ifle nor cru% ! s\l4 ,x r dilates ! s\l1 & disposes ! s\l = ! bett] s]vice ( ,god4 ,:ile t o!r sorr[ tr\bles all1 & conf\nds all1 & de/roys all4 ,x is ! devil's humility :5 he gets u to di/ru/ ,god4 ,:5 y f9d y\rselves ?us1 lay aside all ?9k+ on y\r own mis]y1 & m$itate on ! inf9ite m]cy ( ,god1 & on ! inexhau/ible m]it & grace ( ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,i 0 once consid]+ :at ! reason 0 :y our ,"l lov$ humility 9 u s mu*1 :5 ,i sudd5ly rememb]$ t ,he is ess5tially ! ,supreme ,tru?1 & t humility is j our walk+ 9 ! tru?4 ,= x is a v great tru? t we h no good 9 u1 b only mis]y & no?+ness1 & he :o does n und]/& ?is walks 9 lies3 b he :o und]/&s ?is ! be/ is ! mo/ pleas+ to ! ,supreme ,tru?4 ,may ,god grant u ?is fav\r1 si/]s1 nev] to be )\t ! humbl+ k ( ourselves4 ,o ,sov]eign ,virtues6 ,o ,ladies ( all ! creatures6 ,o ,empresses ( ! :ole _w6 ,:oev] ha? y may g =? & fight boldly ) all hell at once4 ,let y\r soldi]s n fe>1 = victory is already !irs4 ,!y only fe> to displease ,god4 ,!y con/antly besee* ,him to ma9ta9 all ! virtues 9 !m4 ,x is true ^! virtues h ?is prop]ty1 to hide !mselves f him :o possesses !m1 s t he nev] sees !m 9 himself1 nor ?9ks t he c ev] possess a s+le "o ( !m4 ,o!r m5 see all ! virtues 9 him1 b he s values !m t he /ill pursues !m1 & seeks !m z some?+ nev] to be atta9$ by su* z he is4 ,& ,humility is "o ( !m1 & is ,que5 & ,empress & ,sov]eign ov] !m all4 ,9 f9e1 "o act ( true humility 9 ! sight ( ,god is ( m wor? ?an all ! k1 sacr$ & pr(ane1 9 ! :ole _w4 ,,on ,,sorr[ ,,= ,,s9 ,x is inde$ a v great mis]y to live on 9 ?is evil _w :]e our enemies are ev] at our gate1 & :]e we c nei!r eat nor sleep 9 peace1 b are compell$ to h our arm\r on night & day4 ,!re is no re/ "h1 nor happ9ess1 nor w be till we are ) ! ,ev]la/+ly ,bless$4 ,z ,i write ,i am seiz$ ) t]ror1 le/ ,i %\ld nev] escape ?is s9ful life4 ,pray = me1 my daught]s1 t ,*ri/ may ev] live 9 me3 =1 o!rwise1 :at security c !re be = su* z ,i am1 :o h be5 s wick$4 ,y may sometimes h ?\ght1 my daught]s1 t ^? to :om ! ,"l p>ticul>ly communicates ,himself1 w be h5ce=? secure ( enjoy+ ,him = ev]1 & t !y w h no ne$ to fe> or bewail _! =m] s9s4 ,b ?is is a great mi/ake4 ,sorr[ = s9 increases 9 proportion z m & m grace is receiv$ f ,god4 ,& ,i1 = my "p1 believe1 t ?is bitt] sorr[ w nev] leave u till we come :]e nei!r s9 nor any?+ else w ev] disquiet u4 ,true1 bo? pa/ s91 & pres5t s9fulness1 affect u m at "o "t ?an at ano!r2 &1 likewise1 9 a diff]5t mann]4 ,i "k "o :o (t5 wi%es = dea?1 t %e may be fre$ f ! torm5t ( h] s9ful he>t4 ,no "o's s9s c equal h]s1 because !re c be no "o :o has obta9$ su* fav\rs ( h] ,god4 ,h] fe> is n s mu* ( hell1 z t %e %\ld s grieve ,god's ,holy ,_s1 t ,he w be we>i$ out1 & w =sake h]1 & leave h] 9 h] s9s4 ,?is fe> & pa9 is n at all eas$ by believ+ t h] pa/ s9s h all be5 =giv5 & =gott5 ( ,god4 ,nay1 h] fe> & pa9 b increase by see+ su* m]cy ext5d$ t[>d a woman :o des]ves no?+ b hell4 ,,on ,,le>n+ ,,& ,,intellect ,i always _h a great respect & affection = intellectual & le>n$ m54 ,x is my exp]i5ce t all :o int5d to be true ,*ri/ians w d well to treat ) m5 ( m9d & books ab\t _! s\ls4 ,! m le>n+ our prea*]s & pa/ors h ! bett]4 ,= if !y h n mu* exp]i5ce !mselves1 yet !y "k ! ,scriptures & ! record$ exp]i5ces ( ! sa9ts bett] ?an we d4 ,! devil is exce$+ly afraid ( le>n+1 especially :]e x is accompani$ ) humility & virtue4 ,= my own "p1 ,i bless ,god cont9ually1 & we wom51 & all su* z are n ourselves intellectual or le>n$1 are always to give ,god inf9ite ?anks t !re are "s m5 9 ! _w :o take su* great pa9s to atta9 to t k :i* we ne$ b d n possess4 ,& x delights me to see m5 tak+ ! imm5se tr\ble !y d take to br+ me s mu* pr(it1 & t )\t any tr\ble to me4 ,i h only to sit /ill & he> !m4 ,i h only to come & ask !m a "q4 ,let u pray = our tea*]s1 = :at w\ld we d )\t !m4 ,i besee* ! ,"l to bless our tea*]s1 t !y may be m & m a bless+ to u4 ,:5 ,i spoke ( humility1 x mu/ n be und]/ood z if ,i spoke aga9/ aspir+ aft] ! highe/ ?+s t m9d & he>t & life c atta9 to4 ,= ?\gh ,i h no ability = ! wisdom & ! k ( ,god myself1 & am s mis]able t ,god did me a great fav\r 9 tea*+ me ! v l[lie/ tru?s3 yet1 9 my judgm5t1 le>n+ & k are v great possessions1 & a great assi/ance 9 ! life ( pray]1 if only !y are always accompani$ ) humility4 ,i h ( late se5 "s v le>n$ m5 become 9 addition v spiritual & pray]ful m54 ,& t makes me pray t all our m5 ( m9d & le>n+ may soon become spiritual m5 & m5 ( mu* pray]4 ,let no "o be admitt$ into ?is ,h\se unless %e is a woman ( a s\nd und]/&+4 ,= if %e is )\t m9d %e w nei!r "k h]self1 nor und]/& h] tea*]s4 ,= ! mo/ "p !y t are defective 9 m9d ev] ?9k t !y und]/& ?+s bett] ?an _! tea*]s4 ,& ignorance & self-conceit is a disease t is incurable2 & besides1 x usually c>ries great malice along ) x4 ,_m speak mu* & und]/& little4 ,o!rs1 aga91 speak little & n v elegantly1 & yet !y h a s\nd und]/&+4 ,!re is su* a ?+ z a holy simplicity t kn[s little ( any?+ b ( h[ to treat ) ,god4 ,at ! same "t comm5d me to holy p ( good heads4 ,f silly devotees1 may ,god deliv] u6 ,:ile all t is true1 9 ! v act ( pray] itself !re is little necessity = le>n+1 = ! m9d !n1 because ( its ne>ness to ! light1 is itself imm$iately illum9at$4 ,i myself1 :o am :at ,i am1 ev5 ,i am a diff]5t p]son 9 pray]4 ,x has (t5 happ5$ to me1 :o sc>cely und]/& a ^w ( :at ,i read 9 ,lat91 :5 9 deep pray]1 to und]/& ! ,lat9 ,psalms z if !y 7 ,spani%4 ,at ! same "t1 ev5 = pray]1 let ^? :o h to tea* & prea* take full advantage ( _! le>n+1 t !y may help poor p ( little le>n+1 ( :om ,i am "o4 ,m9i/]+ ) all le>n+ & all intellectual ability to s\ls is a great ?+1 :5 x is done unto ,god4 ,i h _m exp]i5ces 9 pray] t ,i d n und]/&1 & _c expla9 or def5d4 ,our ,"l has n be5 pleas$ to give me ! full intellectual und]/&+ ( all ,8 deal+s ) me4 ,t is ! tru?4 ,?\gh y1 my fa!r1 may ?9k t ,i h a quick und]/&+1 x is 9 reality n s4 ,sometimes my advis]s us$ to be amaz$ at my ignorance h[ ,god c>ri$ on ,8 "w )9 me4 ,x 0 !re1 b ! way ( x 0 a great deep to me4 ,i c\ld nei!r wade out unto ,god1 nor d[n into myself4 ,?\gh1 z ,i h said1 ,i lov$ to conv]se ) m5 ( m9d z well z ( he>t4 ,at ! same "t1 my difficulties b increas$ my devotion1 & ! great] my difficulty ! great] ! increase ( my devotion4 ,praise ,8 ,"n4 ,,on ,,pray] 7#a7 ,! ,price ( ,pray]4--,o ,?\ ,"l ( my s\l1 & my ,et]nal ,good1 :y is x t :5 a s\l resolves to foll[ ,!e1 & to d h] be/ to =sake all = ,!e1--:y is x t ,?\ do/ n in/antly p]fect ,?y love & ,?y peace )9 t s\l8 ,b ,i h spok5 unadvis$ly & fooli%ly1 = x is we :o are at fault 9 pray]1 & nev] ,!e4 ,we are s long & s sl[ 9 giv+ up our he>ts to ,!e4 ,& !n ,?\ wilt n p]mit our enjoym5t ( ,!e )\t our pay+ well = s preci\s a possession4 ,!re is no?+ 9 all ! _w :]e) to buy ! %$d+ abroad ( ,?y love 9 our he>t1 b our he>t's love4 ,if1 h[ev]1 we did :at we c\ld1 n cl++ ) our he>ts to any?+ :atsoev] 9 ?is _w1 b hav+ our treasure & our conv]sation 9 heav51 !n ?is bless$ness w\ld soon be ours1 z all ,?y sa9ts te/ify4 ,god nev] )holds ,himself f him :o pays ?is price & :o p]sev]es 9 seek+ ,him4 ,he w1 little by little1 & n[ & !n1 /r5g!n & re/ore t s\l1 till at la/ x is victori\s4 ,if he :o ent]s on ?is road only does viol5ce en\gh to himself1 ) ! help ( ,god1 he w n only g to heav5 himself1 b he w n g alone3 he w take o!rs ) him4 ,god w give him1 z to a good lead]1 ^? :o w g aft] him4 ,only1 let n any man ( pray] ev] expect to enjoy 8 :ole rew>d "h4 ,he mu/ rema9 a man ( fai? & pray] to ! end4 ,let him resolve1 !n1 t :atev] 8 aridity & s5se ( indevotion may be1 he w nev] let himself s9k utt]ly "u 8 cross4 ,& ! day w come :5 he w receive all 8 petitions 9 "o great answ]1 & all 8 wages 9 "o great rew>d4 ,= he s]ves a good ,ma/]1 :o /&s ov] him wat*+ him4 ,& let him nev] give ov] because ( evil ?\ghts1 ev5 if !y are sprung ^u him 9 ! middle ( 8 pray]1 = ! devil s vex$ ! holy ,j]ome ev5 9 ! wild]ness4 ,b all ^! toils ( s\l h _! sure rew>d1 & _! j recomp5se set out = !m4 ,&1 ,i c assure y1 z "o :o kn[s :at %e is say+1 t "o s+le drop ( wat] out ( ,god's liv+ well w bo? su/a9 y & rew>d y = ano!r day & ano!r night ( y\r life ( life-long pray]4 7#b7 ,s9 spoils ,pray]4--,n[ ,i saw t !re w\ld be no answ] to me till ,i _h entire purity ( consci5ce1 & no long] reg>d$ any iniquity :atsoev] 9 my he>t4 ,i saw t !re 7 "s secret affections /ill left 9 me1 :i*1 ?\gh !y 7 n v bad p]haps 9 !mselves1 yet 9 a life ( pray] su* z ,i 0 attempt+ ^? reman5t affections spoil$ all4 7#c7 ,eighte5 ,ye>s ( ,mis]y 9 ,pray]4--,x is n )\t v good reason t ,i h dwelt s long on ?is "p ( my life4 ,x w give no "o any pleasure to see any "o s base z ,i 04 ,& ,i wi% all :o read ?is to h me 9 abhorr5ce4 ,i fail$ 9 all ob$i5ce1 because ,i 0 n lean+ on my /rong pill> ( pray]4 ,i pass$ ne>ly tw5ty ye>s ( my life on ?is /ormy sea1 con/antly toss$ ) tempe/ & nev] com+ to h>b\r4 ,x 0 ! mo/ pa9ful life t c be imag9$1 because ,i _h no sweetness 9 ,god1 & c]ta9ly no sweetness 9 s94 ,i 0 (t5 v angry ) myself on acc\nt ( ! _m te>s ,i %$ = my faults1 :5 ,i c\ld n b see h[ little improvem5t all my te>s made 9 me4 ,all my te>s did n hold me back f s9 :5 ! opportunity return$4 ,till ,i came to look on my te>s z little %ort ( a delusion3 & yet !y 7 n4 ,x 0 ! goodness ( ! ,"l to give me su* compunction ev5 :5 x 0 n z yet accompani$ ) complete re=mation4 ,b ! :ole root ( my evil lay 9 my n ?or\ghly avoid+ all occasions ( s91 & 9 my confessors1 :o help$ me at t "t s little4 ,if !y _h only told me :at a dang]\s road x 0 ,i 0 travell+ 91 & t ,i 0 b\nd to break (f all occasions ( s91 ,i d believe1 )\t any d\bt1 t ! matt] w\ld h be5 rem$i$ at once4 ,nev]!less1 ,i c trace di/9ctly ! m]cy ( ,god to me 9 t all ! "t ,i _h /ill ! c\rage to pray4 ,i say c\rage1 because ,i "k no?+ 9 ! :ole _w t requires great] c\rage ?an plott+ treason aga9/ ! ,k+1 kn[+ t ,he kn[s x1 & yet cont9u+ to frequ5t ,8 pres5ce 9 pray]4 ,i sp5t m ?an eighte5 ye>s 9 t mis]able attempt to reconcile ,god & my life ( s94 ,! reason t ,i tell & repeat all ?is s (t5 is t all :o read :at ,i write may und]/& h[ great is t grace ,god works 9 ! s\l :5 ,he gives x a disposition to pray on1 ev5 :5 x has n yet left (f all s94 ,if t s\l p]sev]es1 9 spite ( s91 & temptation1 & _m relapses1 our ,"l w br+ t s\l at la/--,i am c]ta9 ( x--to ! h>b\r ( salvation1 to :i* ,he is surely br++ myself4 ,i w say :at ,i "k by exp]i5ce1--let him nev] cease f pray]1 :o has once begun to pray1 be 8 life ev] s bad4 ,= pray] is ! only way to am5d 8 life1 & )\t pray] x w nev] be m5d$4 ,let him n be tempt$ ( ! devil1 z ,i 01 to give up pray] on acc\nt ( 8 unwor?9ess4 ,let him r believe t if he w only /ill rep5t & pray1 our ,"l w /ill he> & answ]4 ,= myself1 v (t5 ,i 0 m occupi$ ) ! wi% to see ! end ( ! h\r4 ,i us$ actually to wat* ! s&-glass4 ,& ! sadness ,i sometimes felt on ent]+ my oratory 0 s great1 t x requir$ all my c\rage to =ce myself 94 ,9 ! end our ,"l came to my help3 &1 !n1 :5 ,i _h done ?is viol5ce to myself1 ,i f\nd f> great] peace & joy ?an :5 ,i pray$ ) regale & rapture4 ,if our ,"l !n bore s long ) me 9 all my wick$ness1 :y %\ld any "o despair1 h[ev] wick$ he may be8 ,let him h be5 ev] s wick$ up till n[1 he w n rema9 9 8 wick$ness s _m ye>s z ,i did aft] receiv+ s _m graces f our ,"l4 ,& ?is m ,i w say1--pray] 0 ! true door by :i* our ,"l di/ribut$ out all ,8 grace s lib]ally to me4 ,pray] & tru/4 ,i us$ inde$ to pray = help3 b ,i see n[ t ,i committ$ all ! "t ! fatal mi/ake ( n putt+ my :ole tru/ 9 ,8 ,maje/y4 ,i %\ld h utt]ly & ?or\ghly di/ru/$ & dete/$ & suspect$ myself4 ,i s\ght = help4 ,i sometimes took great pa9s to get x4 ,b ,i did n und]/& ( h[ little use all t is unless we root utt]ly all confid5ce out ( ourselves1 & place x at once1 & = ev]1 & absolutely 9 ,god4 ,^? 7 eighte5 mis]able ye>s4 7#d7 ,aridity 9 ,pray]4--,let no "o we>y or lose he>t 9 pray] because ( aridity4 ,= ! ,he>] ( pray] comes 9 all su* cases v late4 ,b at la/ ,he comes4 ,& ?\gh ,he confess$ly comes late1 ,he correspond+ly makes up to ! s\l = all ,8 delays1 & rew>ds h] on ! spot = all h] toil1 & dryness1 & disc\ragem5t ( _m ye>s4 ,i h great pity on ^? :o give way & lose all ?is ?r\gh n be+ taught to p]sev]e 9 pray]4 ,x is a bad beg9n+1 & v prejudicial to pr(ici5cy 9 pray]1 to use x = ! gu/ & consolation t a man receives at ! "t4 ,i "k by my own exp]i5ce1 t he :o det]m9es to pray1 n mu* he$+ ei!r imm$iate com=t or dejection1 he has got into "o ( ! be/ secrets ( pray]4 ,i am tr\bl$ to he> t grave m51 & m5 ( le>n+ & und]/&+1 compla9 t ,god does n give !m s5sible devotion4 ,x proce$s f ignorance ( ! true life ( pray]1 & f n c>ry+ ! cross into pray] z into all ! re/ ( ! spiritual life4 ,he :o beg9s to pray %\ld be well told t he beg9s to plant a f9e g>d5 9 v bad soil2 a soil full ( ! mo/ noxi\s & in]adicable we$s4 ,& t aft] good h]bs & plants & fl[]s h be5 s[n1 !n he has to we$ & wat] & f5ce & wat* t g>d5 night & day & all 8 life4 ,till ! ,"l ( ! g>d5 is able to come & recreate & regale ,himself :]e once !re 0 no?+ b we$s1 & /ones1 & noxi\s v]m94 ,pray]1 h[soev] p]fect 9 itself x may be1 mu/ always be direct$ 9 ^u ! p]=mance ( good works4 ,we mu/ n cont5t ourselves ) ! gift ( pray]1 or ) lib]ty & consolation & gu/ 9 pray]4 ,we mu/ come out f pray] ! mo/ raptur\s & sweet only to d h>d] & ev] h>d] works = ,god & our neighb\r4 ,o!rwise ! pray] is n good1 & ! gu/s are n f ,god4 ,! gr[? & maturity & fruitfulness ( ! s\l d n /& 9 lib]ty 9 pray]1 b 9 love4 ,& ?is love is got n by speak+ mu* b by do+ & suff]+ mu*4 ,= my "p1 & ,i h be5 long at x1 ,i desire no o!r gift ( pray] b t :i* ends 9 e day mak+ me a bett] & bett] woman4 ,by its fruits y\r pray] w be kn[n to y\rselves & o!rs4 ,at o!r times ,i f9d myself s arid t ,i am n able to =m any di/9ct idea ( ,god1 nor c ,i put my s\l into an attitude ( pray]1 ?\gh ,i am 9 ! place ( pray]1 & ?\gh ,i feel t ,i "k some?+ ( ,god4 ,?is m9d ( m9e at su* times is l a born fool or "s idiot creature t no?+ c b9d d[n4 ,i _c comm& myself4 ,i _c prop]ly say "o ,cr$o4 ,at su* times ,i laugh bitt]ly at myself1 & see cle>ly my own natural mis]y4 ,i come !n to see ! exce$+ fav\r ( ! ,"l 9 t ,he ev] holds ?is insane fool fa/ 9 pray] & hol9ess4 ,:at w\ld ^? :o love & hon\r me ?9k if !y saw _! fri5d 9 ?is dotage & di/raction8 ,i reflect at su* times on ! great hurt our orig9al s9 has done u4 ,= x is f our fir/ fall t all ?is has come to u t we s w&] f ,god1 & are s (t5 utt]ly incapable ( ,god4 ,b x is n s mu* ,adam's s9 z my own t works 9 me all ?is ali5ation & inability & aridity4 ,me?9ks ,i love ,god2 b my actions1 & ! endless imp]fections ,i see 9 myself1 cause me great fe>1 & deep & inconsolable di/ress4 7#e7 ,pray] aft] ,s94--,nev] let any "o leave (f pray] on any pret5ce3 great s9s committ$1 or any o!r pret5ce :atsoev]4 ,= by leav+ (f pray] ! s\l w be f9ally lo/1 :ile e return to pray] is new life & new /r5g?1 z ,i am cont9ually tell+ y4 ,i tell y aga9 t ! leav+ (f ( pray] 0 ! mo/ devili% & ! mo/ deadly temptation ,i ev] met )4 7#f7 ,m$itation 9 ,pray]4--,he :o prays %\ld (t5 /op to ?9k ) :om he speaks3 :o he himself is :o speaks3 :o ,jesus ,*ri/ is ?r\gh :om he speaks3 :at t c\ntry is to :i* he aspires3 h[ he may be/ please ,him :o dwells !re3 & :at he is to d s t 8 "* & disposition may suit ) ,god's disposition & "*4 ,m5tal pray]1 z ,i am wont to call x1 is ! con/ant m$itation ( su* ?+s z ^!4 ,& m5tal pray] ought to be endeav\r$ aft] by all1 ?\gh !y h no virtues1 because x is ! beg9n+ ( !m1 & !re=e ! "o int]e/ ( all m5 is at once to beg9 su* pray]4 ,b x w be ex]cis$ ) no little difficulty unless ! /eady acquisition ( ! virtues accompanies x4 ,9 pray] x is f> be/ to be alone2 z1 = our example & in/ruction1 our ,"l always 0 :5 ,he pray$4 ,= we _c talk bo? to ,god & man at ! same mom5t4 ,&1 if we feel too mu* alone1 & mu/ h company1 no company is comp>able to ,*ri/'s company4 ,let u picture & repres5t ,*ri/ to ourselves & to ,8 ,fa!r z always at our side4 ,^? :o pray ) prop] prep>ation3 t is1 ) mu* m$itation on ! :ole life & dea? ( our ,"l3 on _! own dea?3 on ! la/ day1 or su* l1 our ,"l w br+ all su* to ! port ( light4 ,m$itate mu* on ! ,sacr$ ,humanity ( our ,"l3 :at ,he 0 on e>?3 :at ,he said3 :at ,he did1 & :at ,he suff]$4 ,because ?is life ( ours is long & uphill1 :i* to pass well ?r\gh ne$s ! con/ant pres5ce ) u ( our great ,exempl>1 ,jesus ,*ri/4 7#g7 ,! ,pres5ce ( ,god 9 ,pray]4--,9 pray] !re w\ld sometimes come ^u me su* a s5se ( ! ,pres5ce ( ,god t ,i seem$ to be all engulf$ 9 ,god4 ,i ?9k ! le>n$ call ?is my/ical exp]i5ce2 at any rate1 x s susp5ds ! ord9>y op]ations ( ! s\l t %e seems to be :olly tak5 out ( h]self4 ,?is t5d]ness1 ?is sweetness1 ?is regale is no?+ else b ! ,pres5ce ( ,god 9 ! pray+ s\l4 ,at ! same "t1 ,i believe t we c greatly help t[>d ! obta9+ ( ,god's ,pres5ce4 ,we obta9 x by consid]+ mu* our own bas5ess1 ! neglect & ! +ratitude we %[ t[>d ! ,son ( ,god1 h[ mu* ,he has done = u1 ,8 passion & t]rible suff]+1 ,8 :ole life s full ( affliction1 by delight+ ourselves 9 ,8 ^w & 9 ,8 works1 & su* ?+s z ^!4 ,& if 9 ^! reflections ! s\l be seiz$ ) ! ,pres5ce ( ,god1 !n ! :ole s\l is regal$ z ,i h describ$4 ,! he>t is fill$ ) rel5t+4 ,te>s also ab\nd4 ,9 ?is way does ! ,div9e ,maje/y repay u ev5 "h = any little c>e we take to s]ve ,him & to be ) ,him4 ,! life ( pray] is j love to ,god & ! cu/om ( be+ ev] ) ,him4 7#h7 ,sup]natural ,pray]4--,9 sup]natural pray] ,god places ! s\l 9 ,8 imm$iate ,pres5ce1 & 9 an in/ant be/[s ,himself ^u ! s\l 9 a way %e c\ld nev] ( h]self atta9 to4 ,he manife/s some?+ ( ,8 greatness to ! s\l at su* times3 some?+ ( ,8 beauty1 some?+ ( ,8 special & p>ticul> grace4 ,& ! s\l enjoys ,god )\t dialectically und]/&+ j h[ %e s enjoys ,him4 ,%e burns ) love )\t kn[+ :at %e has done to des]ve or to prep>e h]self = su* a rapture4 ,x is ! gift ( ,god1 & ,he gives ,8 gifts to :omsoev] & :5soev] ,he w4 ,?is1 my daught]s1 is p]fect contemplation3 ?is is sup]natural pray]4 ,n[ ?is is ! diff]5ce betwe5 natural & sup]natural pray]3 betwe5 m5tal & transc5d5tal pray]4 ,9 ord9>y pray] we m or less und]/& :at we say & d4 ,we ?9k ( ,him to :om we speak2 we ?9k ab\t ourselves & ab\t our ,surety & ,m$iator4 ,9 all ?is1 by ,god's help1 we c d some?+1 s to speak1 ( ourselves4 ,b 9 pure sup]natural & transc5d5tal pray]1 we d no?+ at all4 ,8 ,div9e ,maje/y x is :o does x all4 ,he works 9 u at su* elect seasons :at f> transc5ds & ov]tops all ! p[]s & res\rces ev5 ( ! r5ew$ nature4 ,at ! same "t1 z a f>-(f means ( atta9+ to sup]natural pray]1 x is necess>y to put ^u ourselves ! acquir+ ( ! great virtues1 & especially1 humility3 we mu/ give up & resign ourselves :olly & entirely unto ,god4 ,:oev] w n attempt to d ?is1 ) all ! grace ( ,god1 t man w nev] come )9 sight ( ! highe/ pray]4 ,let him1 9 absolutely ev]y?+1 seat himself 9 ! l[e/ place4 ,let him acc\nt himself utt]ly & hopelessly unwor?y ( ev]y?+ he possesses1 bo? 9 nature & 9 grace4 ,let him %un advancem5t4 ,let him apply himself to daily mortification1 n ( ! body s mu* z ( ! m9d & ! he>t1 & let him be m ?an cont5t ) ! lea/ ?+ t ,god all[s him1 = ?is is true humility4 ,9 %ort1 let ,8 ,maje/y lead u 9 any way ,he pleases1 & ! *ances are t ,he w soon lead u by ^! ways to a life ( pray] & communion x _h n ent]$ into our he>ts to conceive possible to su* s9n]s z we are4 ,let no man be too mu* ca/ d[n1 because he has n yet atta9$ to sup]natural pray]4 ,god leads ,8 p 9 ! way t ,he *ooses out z be/ = ,him & = !m4 ,& he :o /&s l[ 9 8 own eyes1 may all ! "t /& high 9 ,god's eyes4 ,sup]natural pray] is n necess>y to salvation3 nor do? ,god require x ( u4 ,!y %all n fail ( salvation :o practise !mselves 9 ! solid virtues4 ,no1 !y may h m m]it 9 ,8 eyes ?an _! m fav\r$ neighb\rs1 because _! ob$i5ce1 & _! fai?1 & _! love h co/ !m m4 ,_! ,"l deals ) !m z ) /rong & valiant m51 appo9t+ !m travail & tr\ble "h1 t !y may fight = ,him ! good fight ( fai?1 & only come 9 = ! prize at ! end4 ,&1 aft] all1 :at great] m>k ( a high election c !re be ?an to ta/e mu* ( ! cross8 ,:om ! ,"l love?1 9 t measure ,he lays on !m ,8 cross4 ,& ! heavie/ ( all our crosses is a life ( sanctification & s]vice )\t s5sible consolation4 7#i7 ,ov]-famili>ity 9 ,pray]4--,he 0 a man ( a p[]ful und]/&+4 ,i ?\ght on 8 great gifts1 & ! possibilities !re 7 9 him ( do+ great s]vice if he 7 once entirely devot$ to ,god4 ,he ask$ me to recomm5d him mu* to ,god1 & ,i did n ne$ to be ask$4 ,i w5t away to ! place to :i* ,i us$ to retreat 9 cases l ?is4 ,& once !re1 ,i put myself into a /ate ( entire recollection1 & began to treat ) our ,"l 9 a way1 :5 ,i ?9k ( x1 ( too great famili>ity4 ,b x 0 love t spake1 & e "o all[s love great famili>ity1 & no "o s mu* z our ,"l4 ,my s\l ov]look$ ! di/ance betwe5 h]self & h] ,"l4 ,%e =got h]self1 z %e s (t5 does1 & began to talk imp]t95ces & to take too great fre$oms4 ,i entreat$ our ,"l ) _m te>s4 ,i judg$ my fri5d to be already a good man1 b ,i mu/ h him mu* bett]1 & ,i said s too freely1 ,i fe>4 ',o ,"l1' ,i rememb] ,i said1' ,?\ mu/ n d5y me ?is fav\r t ,i ask4 ,?is is a man = u to make a fri5d (4' ,& f> m ?an t4 ,& ,he did x4 ,yes1 ,he did x4 ,o ,8 imm5se b\nty & goodness6 ,he reg>ds n ! words b ! affection ) :i* ! words are utt]$4 ,t mu/ be s1 :5 ,he endures ) su* an imp]t95t & ov]-famili> & irrev]5t wret* z ,i am2 endures & answ]s4 ,may ,he be bless$ to all et]nity6 7#aj7 ,! ,be/ ,result ( ,pray]4--,to ,fa!r ,gratian4 ,to-day ,i receiv$ ?ree lett]s f y\r ,rev]5ce by ! way ( ! head-po/4 ,! :ole matt] is 9 a nut-%ell4 ,t pray] is ! mo/ acceptable :i* leaves ! be/ results4 ,results1 ,i mean1 9 actions4 ,t is true pray]4 ,n c]ta9 gu/s ( s(tness & feel+1 & no?+ m4 ,= myself1 ,i wi% no o!r pray] b t :i* improves me 9 virtue4 ,i w\ld fa9 live m ne>ly z ,i pray4 ,i c\nt t to be a good pray] :i* leaves me m humble1 ev5 if x is /ill ) great temptations1 tribulations1 & aridities4 ,= x mu/ nev] be ?\ght t because a man has mu* suff]+1 !re=e he _c h pray$ acceptably4 ,8 suff]+ is z inc5se set =? be=e ,god4 ,tell my daught]s t !y mu/ "w & suff] z well z pray1 & t x is ! be/ pray] t has ) x ! mo/ "w & ! mo/ suff]+4 7#aa7 ,a ,bi%op taught to ,pray4--,to ,don ,alonzo ,velasquez1 ,bi%op ( ,osma4 ,y\r ,rev]5ce enjo9$ me ! o!r day to recomm5d y to ,god4 ,i h done s3 n reg>d+ my own inconsid]abl5ess1 b y\r requisition & y\r rights4 ,& ,i promise myself f y\r goodness t y w take 9 good "p :at ,i feel compell$ to say to y1 & w accept t :i* proce$s only f my ob$i5ce to y4 ,recognis+1 !n1 & repres5t+ to our ,"l1 ! great fav\rs ,he has done y 9 hav+ be/[$ ^u y humility1 *>ity1 zeal = s\ls1 & a /rong desire to v9dicate ! ,div9e hon\r1 ,i /ill bes\ght ! ,"l = an increase 9 y ( all ^! same virtues & p]fections 9 ord] t y may prove z accompli%$ 9 all ^! ?+s z ! dignity ( y\r (fice requires4 ,till x 0 discov]$ to me t y /ill want$ t :i* is ! f\ndation ( e virtue1 & )\t :i* ! :ole sup]/ructure dissolves1 & falls 9 ru9s4 ,y want pray]4 ,y want believ+1 p]sev]+1 c\rage\s pray]4 ,& ! want ( t pray] causes all t dr\ght & disunion f :i* y say y\r s\l suff]s4 ,t :i* 0 %[n me z ! way y\r lord%ip is h5ce=? to pray is ?is4 ,y are to recollect & accuse y\rself ( all y\r s9s s9ce y\r la/ "t ( l pray]4 ,y are to dive/ y\rself ( ev]y?+ z if y 7 t mom5t to die4 ,y are to beg9 by recit+ to y\rself & to ,god ! ,fifty-fir/ ,psalm4 ,& aft] t y mu/ say ?is4 ',i come1 ,o ,"l1 ,bi%op z ,i am1 to ,?y *ildr5's s*ool ( pray] & ob$i5ce4 ,i come to ,!e n to tea*1 b to le>n4 ,i w speak to ,!e1 :o am b du/ & a%es4' ,& all ! "t set be=e ! eyes ( y\r s\l ,jesus ,*ri/ crucifi$1 & rum9ate on ,him 9 "s su* way z ?is4 ,fix y\r eyes on t /up5d\s humility ( ,8 :]eby ,he s annihilat$ ,himself4 ,look on ,8 head cr[n$ ) ?orns4 ,fix y\r eyes on ,8 nail$ h&s1 ,8 feet1 & ,8 side4 ,m$itate on & int]rogate e "o ( ,8 w\nds = y4 ,x behoves y also to g to pray] ) a mo/ entire resignation & submission & pliantness to g t way 9 religion & 9 life t ,god po9ts out to y4 ,sometimes ,he w tea* y by turn+ ,8 back on y3 &1 anon1 by lift+ up ! light ( ,8 c\nt5ance ^u y4 ,sometimes by %utt+ y out ( ,8 pres5ce1 & sometimes by br++ y into ,8 banquet+-h\se4 ,& y are to receive x all ) ! same equability ( m9d1 kn[+ t ,he always acts = ! be/4 ,o!rwise y w g to tea* ,god 9 y\r pray]s1 :i* is n ! prop] scope & int5t ( pray] at all4 ,& :5 y say t y are du/ & a%es1 y mu/ obs]ve & exhibit ! prop] quality ( su*4 ,9 our ,"l's pray] 9 ! g>d51 ,he reque/$ t ! bitt]ness & ! t]rible trial ,he felt 9 ov]com+ ,8 human nature might be tak5 away4 ,he did n ask t ,8 pa9s might be tak5 away1 b only ! disgu/ :]e) ,he suff]$ !m4 ,& :5 x 0 answ]$ ,him t x 0 n exp$i5t b t ,he %\ld dr9k t cup1 ,he _h to ma/] t weakness & pusillanimity ( ! fle%1 z mu/ all o!r m54 ,"o _c be a great s*ol>1 or ev5 a f9i%$ c\rti]1 )\t great pa9s & exp5se2 & to be a s*ol> 9 ! ,*ur*1 & a m9i/]1 & a ma/] 9 ! sci5ce ( ,heav51 _c be done )\t long "t at s*ool & mu* h>d "w4 ,& h]e) ,i desi/ f say+ m to y\r lord%ip1 ^: p>don ,i beg = all ?is presumption4 ,:i*1 h[ev] full x may be ( defects & indiscretions1 is n want+ 9 t zeal ,i owe to y\r s]vice z "o ( ! mo/ w&]+ & gone a/ray ( y\r lord%ip's flock4 ,our ,"l pres]ve y\r lord%ip1 & enri* y ) ! manifold increase ( ,8 grace4 ,i am1 y\r lord%ip's unwor?y s]vant & subject1 ,t]esa ( ,jesus4 7#ab7 ,! prop] ,read]s ( :at ! ,sa9t has ,writt51--,& n[ ,i return mo/ humbly to besee* y\r ,rev]5ce1 t1 if y mean to imp>t to any "o ^! ?+s t y h made me write conc]n+ pray]1 let !m be imp>t$ to spiritual p]sons1 & to p]sons ( real insight only4 ,=1 inde$1 ,i h writt5 = p]sons ( exceptional exp]i5ce & exceptional prud5ce only4 ,:at ,i h writt51 ,i fe>1 v few are capable (4 ,b :at am ,i1 to speak ?us ab\t any b myself8 ,f>ewell4--,i am1 ,,t]esa ,,! ,,s9n]4