,,family999999 ,,religious ,,education ,,in ,,the ,,family by ,,henry ,f4 ,,cope ,general ,secretary of the ,religious ,education ,association ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press ,chicago1 ,illinois ,copyright #aiae by ,the ,university of ,chicago ,all ,rights ,reserved ,published ,april #aiae ,second ,impression ,september #aiae ,third ,impression ,march #aiaf ,fourth ,impression ,june #aiag ,fifth ,impression ,august #aibj ,sixth ,impression ,july #aibb ,seventh ,impression ,september #aibb ,composed and ,printed ,by ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press ,chicago1 ,illinois1 ,u4,s4,a4 ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press ,chicago1 ,illinois ,the ,baker and ,taylor ,company ,new ,york ,the ,cambridge ,university ,press ,london ,the ,maruzen-,kabushiki-,kaisha ,tokyo1 ,osaka1 ,kyoto1 ,fukuoka1 ,sendai ,the ,mission ,book ,company ,shanghai ,,preface ,in the work of religious education1 with which the present series of books is concerned1 the life of the family rightly occupies a central place4 ,the church has always realized its duty to exhort parents to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the ,lord1 but very little has ever been done to enable parents to study systematically and scientifically the problem of religious education in the family4 ,today parents' classes are being formed in many churches2 ,christian ,associations1 women's clubs1 and institutes are studying the subject2 individual parents are becoming more and more interested in the rational performance of their high duties4 ,and there is a general desire for guidance4 ,as the full bibliography at the end of this volume and the references in connection with each chapter indicate1 there is available a very large literature dealing with the various elements of the problem4 ,but a guidebook to organize all this material and to stimulate independent thought and endeavor is desirable4 ,to afford this guidance the present volume has been prepared4 ,it is equally adapted for the thoughtful study of the father and mother who are seeking help in the moral and religious development of their own family1 and for classes in churches1 institutes1 and neighborhoods1 where the important problems of the family are to be studied and discussed4 ,it would be well to begin the use of the book by reading the suggestions for class work at the end of the volume4 ,with a confident hope that religion in the family is not to be a wistful memory of the past but a most vital force in the making of the better day that is coming1 this volume is offered as a contribution and a summons4 ,the ,editors ,new ,year's ,day1 #aiae ,,contents ,,chapter ,,page ,i4 ,an ,interpretation of the ,family #a ,,ii4 ,the ,present ,status of ,family ,life #aj ,,iii4 ,the ,permanent ,elements in ,family ,life #bg ,,iv4 ,the ,religious ,place of the ,family #cg ,v4 ,the ,meaning ,of ,religious ,education in the ,family #df ,,vi4 ,the ,child's ,religious ,ideas #fj ,,vii4 ,directed ,activity #ge ,,viii4 ,the ,home as a ,school #hg ,,ix4 ,the ,child's ,ideal ,life #aja ,x4 ,stories and ,reading #aaj ,,xi4 ,the ,use of the ,bible in the ,home #aai ,,xii4 ,family ,worship #abf ,,xiii4 ,sunday in the ,home #ade ,,xiv4 ,the ,ministry of the ,table #afd ,,xv4 ,the ,boy and ,girl in the ,family #agc ,,xvi4 ,the ,needs of ,youth #ahc ,,xvii4 ,the ,family and the ,church #aih ,,xviii4 ,children and the ,school #bab ,,xix4 ,dealing with ,moral ,crises #bah ,,xx4 ,dealing with ,moral ,crises 7,continued7 #bca ,,xxi4 ,dealing with ,moral ,crises 7,continued7 #bdj ,,xxii4 ,dealing with ,moral ,crises 7,concluded7 #bdi ,,xxiii4 ,the ,personal ,factors in ,religious ,education #bei ,,xxiv4 ,looking to the ,future #bfh ,suggestions for ,class ,work #bha ,a ,book ,list #bij ,index #big ,,chapter ,i ,,an ,,interpretation ,,of ,,the ,,family #a4 ,,taking ,,the ,,home ,,in ,,religious ,,terms ,the ills of the modern home are symptomatic4 ,divorce1 childless families1 irreverent children1 and the decadence of the old type of separate home life are signs of forgotten ideals1 lost motives1 and insufficient purposes4 ,where the home is only an opportunity for self-indulgence1 it easily becomes a cheap boarding-house1 a sleeping-shelf1 an implement for social advantage4 ,while it is true that general economic developments have effected marked changes in domestic economy1 the happiness and efficiency of the family do not depend wholly on the parlor1 the kitchen1 or the clothes closet4 ,rather1 everything depends on whether the home and family are considered in worthy and adequate terms4 ,homes are wrecked because families refuse to take home-living in religious terms1 in social terms of sacrifice and service4 ,in such homes1 organized and conducted to satisfy personal desires rather than to meet social responsibilities1 these desires become ends rather than agencies and opportunities4 ,they who marry for lust are divorced for further lust4 ,selfishness1 even in its form of self-preservation1 is an unstable foundation for a home4 ,it costs too much to maintain a home if you measure it by the personal advantages of parents4 ,what hope is there for useful and happy family life if the newly wedded youth have both been educated in selfishness1 habituated to frivolous pleasures1 and guided by ideals of success in terms of garish display8 ,yet what definite program for any other training does society provide8 ,do the schools and colleges1 ,sunday schools and churches teach youth a better way8 ,how else shall they be trained to take the home and family in terms that will make for happiness and usefulness8 ,it is high time to take seriously the task of educating people to religious efficiency in the home4 #b4 ,,the ,,religious ,,motive ,the family needs a religious motive4 ,more potent for happiness than courses in domestic economy will be training in sufficient domestic motives4 ,it will take much more than modern conveniences1 bigger apartments1 or even better kitchens to make the new home4 ,essentially the problem is not one of mechanics but of persons4 ,what we call the home problem is more truly a family problem4 ,it centers in persons2 the solution awaits a race with new ideals1 educated to live as more than dust1 for more than dirt1 for personality rather than for possessions4 ,we need young people who establish homes1 not simply because they feel miserable when separated1 nor because one needs a place in which to board and the other needs a boarder1 but because the largest duty and joy of life is to enrich the world with other lives and to give themselves in high love to making those other lives of the greatest possible worth to the world4 ,the family must come to a recognition of social obligations4 ,we all hope for the coming ideal day4 ,everywhere men and women are answering to higher ideals of life4 ,but the new day waits for a new race4 ,modern emphasis on the child is a part of present reaction from materialism4 ,new social ideals are personal4 ,we seek a better world for the sake of a higher race4 ,the emphasis on child-welfare has a social rather than a sentimental basis4 ,the family is our great chance to determine childhood and so to make the future4 ,the child of today is basic to the social welfare of tomorrow4 ,he is our chance to pay to tomorrow all that we owe to yesterday4 ,the family as the child's life-school is thus central to every social program and problem4 #c4 ,,wider ,,child-,,welfare ,this age knows that man does not live by bread alone4 ,interest in child-welfare is for the sake of the child himself1 not for the sake of his clothes or his physical condition4 ,concern about soap and sanitation1 hygiene and the conveniences of life grows because these all go to make up the soil in which the person grows4 ,there is danger that our emphasis on child-welfare may be that of the tools instead of the man2 that we may become enmeshed in the mechanism of well-being and lose sight of the being who should be well4 ,to fail at the point of character is to fail all along the line4 ,and we fail altogether1 no matter how many bathtubs we give a child1 how many playgrounds1 medical inspections1 and inoculations1 unless that child be in himself strong and high-minded1 loving truth1 hating a lie1 and habituated to live in good-will with his fellows and with high ideals for the universe4 ,modern interest in the material factors of life is on account of their potency in making real selfhood2 we acknowledge the importance of the physical as the very soil in which life grows4 ,but the fruits are more than the soil1 and a home exists for higher purposes than physical conveniences2 these are but its tools to its great end4 ,somehow for purposes of social well-being we must raise our thinking of the family to the aim of the development of efficient1 rightly minded character4 ,the family must be seen as making spiritual persons4 #d4 ,,the ,,cost ,,of ,a ,,family ,taking the home in religious terms will mean1 then1 conceiving it as an institution with a religious purpose1 namely1 that of giving to the world children who are adequately trained and sufficiently motived to live the social life of good-will4 ,the family exists to give society developed1 efficient children4 ,it fails if it does not have a religious1 a spiritual product4 ,it cannot succeed except by the willing self-devotion of adult lives to this spiritual1 personal purpose4 ,a family is the primary social organization for the elementary purpose of breeding the species1 nurturing and training the young4 ,this is its physiological basis4 ,but its duties cannot be discharged on the physiological plane alone4 ,this elementary physiological function is lifted to a spiritual level by the aim of character and the motive of love4 ,families cannot be measured by their size2 they must be measured by the character of their products4 ,if quality counts anywhere it counts here1 though it is well to remember that it takes some reasonable quantity to make right quality in each4 ,the family needs a religious motive4 ,it demands sacrifice4 ,to follow lower impulses is to invite disaster4 ,the home breeds bitterness and sorrow wherever men and women court for lust1 marry for social standing1 and maintain an establishment only as a part of the game of social competition4 ,to sow the winds of passion1 ease1 idle luxury1 pride1 and greed is to reap the whirlwind4 ,moreover1 it is to miss the great chance of life1 the chance to find that short cut to happiness which men call pain and suffering4 ,a family is humanity's great opportunity to walk the way of the cross4 ,mothers know that2 some fathers know it2 some children grow up to learn it4 ,in homes where this is true1 where all other aims are subordinated to this one of making the home count for high character1 to training lives into right social adjustment and service1 the primary emphasis is not on times and seasons for religion2 religion is the life of that home1 and in all its common living every child learns the way of the great ,life of all4 ,in vain do we torture children with adult religious penances1 long prayers1 and homilies1 thinking thereby to give them religious training4 ,the good man comes out of the good home1 the home that is good in character1 aim1 and organization1 not sporadically but permanently1 the home where the religious spirit1 the spirit of idealism1 and the sense of the infinite and divine are diffused rather than injected4 ,the inhuman1 antisocial vampires1 who suck their brothers' blood1 whether they be called magnates or mob-leaders1 grafters or gutter thieves1 often learned to take life in terms of graft by the attitude and atmosphere of their homes4#a #e4 ,,motives ,,for ,a ,,study ,,of ,,the ,,family ,the modern family is worthy of our careful study4 ,it demands painstaking attention1 both because of its immediate importance to human happiness and because of its potentiality for the future of society4 ,the kind of home and the character of family life which will best serve the world and fulfil the will of ,god cannot be determined by sentiment or supposition4 ,we are under the highest and sternest obligation to discover the laws of the family1 those social laws which are determined by its nature and purpose1 to find right standards for family life1 to discriminate between the things that are permanent and those that are passing1 between those we must conserve and those we must discard1 to be prepared to fit children for the finer and higher type of family life that must come in the future4 ,methods of securing family efficiency will not be discovered by accident4 ,if it is worth while to study the minor details1 such as baking cakes and sweeping floors1 surely it is even more important to study the larger problems of organization and discipline4 ,there is a science of home-direction and an art of family living2 both must be learned with patient study4 ,it is a costly thing to keep a home where honor1 the joy of love1 and high ideals dwell ever4 ,it costs time1 pleasures1 and so-called social advantages1 as well as money and labor4 ,it must cost thought1 study1 and investigation4 ,it demands and deserves sacrifice2 it is too sacred to be cheap4 ,the building of a home is a work that endures to eternity1 and that kind of work never was done with ease or without pain and loss and the investment of much time4 ,patient study of the problems of the family is a part of the price which all may pay4 ,no nobler social work1 no deeper religious work1 no higher educational work is done anywhere than that of the men and women1 high or humble1 who set themselves to the fitting of their children for life's business1 equipping them with principles and habits upon which they may fall back in trying hours1 and making of home the sweetest1 strongest1 holiest1 happiest place on earth4 ,heaven only knows the price that must be paid for that2 heaven only knows the worth of that work4 ,but if we are wise we shall each take up our work for our world where it lies nearest to us1 in co-operation with parents1 in service and sacrifice as parents or kin1 our work in the shop where manhood is in the making1 where it is being made fit to dwell long in the land1 in the family at home4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,edward ,lyttleton1 ,the ,corner-,stone of ,education1 chaps4 i1 vii4 ,putnam1 #a4ej4 ,a4 ,gandier1 ,religious ,education in the ,home1 ,religious ,education1 ,june1 #aiad1 pp4 #bcc-db4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,the ,family a ,religious ,agency ,c4,f4 and ,c4,b4 ,thwing1 ,the ,family4 ,lothrop1 ,lee ,shepard1 #a4fj4 ,j4,d4 ,folsom1 ,religious ,education in the ,home4 ,eaton ,mains1 #j4ge4 ,g4,a4 ,coe1 ,education in ,religion and ,morals4 ,revell1 #a4ce4 ,the ,place of the ,family ,a4,j4 ,todd1 ,the ,family as an ,educational ,agency4 ,putnam1 #b4jj4 ,w4,f4 ,lofthouse1 ,ethics and the ,family4 ,hodder ,stoughton1 #b4ej4 ,j4,b4 ,robins1 ,the ,family a ,necessity4 ,revell1 #a4be4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,describe the changes within recent times in the conditions of the home1 its work1 housing1 and supplies4 ,how far have these changes affected the community of the family1 the continuity of its personal relationships1 and its religious service8 #b4 ,what are the fundamental causes of family disasters8 ,admitting that there are sufficient grounds for divorce in numerous instances1 what other causes enter into the high number of divorces8 #c4 ,state in your own terms the ultimate reasons for the maintenance of a family4 #d4 ,what are the motives which would make people willing to bear the high cost of founding and conducting a home8 #e4 ,what points of emphasis does this study suggest in the matter of the education of public opinion8 #f4 ,state your distinction between the family and the home2 which is the more important and why8 ,,footnotes3 #a ,the ,corner-,stone of ,education1 by ,edward ,lyttleton1 headmaster of ,eton1 is a striking argument on the determinative influence of parental habits and attitudes of mind4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,,the ,,present ,,status ,,of ,,family ,,life #a4 ,,contrasted ,,types ,in a beautiful village1 in one of the farther western states1 two men were discussing the possible future of the home and of family life4 ,sitting in the brilliant moonlight1 looking through the leafy shades1 watching the lights of a score of homes1 each surrounded by lawn and shade trees1 each with its group on the front porch1 where vines trailed and flowers bloomed1 listening to the hum of conversation and the strains of music in one home and another1 it seemed1 to at least one of these men1 that this type of living could hardly pass away4 ,the separate home1 each family a complete social integer1 each with its own circle of activities and interests1 its own group1 and its own table and fireside1 seemed too fine and beautiful1 too fair and helpful1 to perish under economic pressure4 ,indeed1 one felt that the village home furnished a setting for life and a soil for character development far higher and more efficient than could be afforded by any other domestic arrangement--that it approached the ideal4 ,but two weeks later two men sat in an upper room1 in the second largest city in ,america1 discussing again the future of the family4 ,instead of the quiet music of the village1 the clang of street cars filled the ears1 trains rushed by1 children shouted from the paved highway1 families were seated by open windows in crowded apartments1 seeking cool air2 the total impression was that of being placed in a pigeonhole in a huge1 heated1 filing-case1 where each separate space was occupied by a family4 ,one felt the pressure of heated1 crowded kitchens1 suffocating little dining-rooms2 one knew that the babies lay crying in their beds at night1 gasping their very lives away1 and that the young folks were wandering off to amusement parks and moving-picture shows4 ,here was an entirely different picture4 ,how long could family life persist under these conditions where privacy was almost gone and comfort almost unknown8 ,in the village separate home integers appear ideal2 in the city they are possible only to the few4 ,the many1 at present1 find them a crushing burden4 ,desirable as privacy is1 it can be purchased at too high a price4 ,it costs too much to maintain separate kitchens and dining-rooms under city conditions4 #b4 ,,communal ,,tendencies ,present conditions spell waste1 inefficiency1 discomfort4 ,the woman lives all day in stifling rooms1 poorly lighted1 with the nerve-racking life of neighbors pouring itself through walls and windows4 ,the men come from crowded shops and the children from crowded schoolrooms to crowd themselves into these rooms1 to snatch a meal1 or to sleep4 ,how can there be real family life8 ,what joy can there be or what ideals created in daily discomfort and distress8 ,little wonder that such homes are sleeping-places only1 that there is no sense of family intercourse and unity4 ,little wonder that restaurant life has succeeded family life4 ,many hold that we are ready for a movement into community living1 that just as the social life of the separate house porches in the villages has become communized into the amusement parks in the cities1 so all the activities of the family will move in the same direction4 ,how long could the family as a unit continue under these conditions8 ,the village life will persist for a long time2 it may be that1 when we apply scientific methods to the transportation of human beings in the same measure as we have to the moving of pig iron1 we can develop large belts of real village life all around our industrial centers4 ,but more and more the village tends to become like the city2 in other words1 highly organized communal life is the dominant trend today4 ,just as business tends to do on a large scale all that can be more economically done in larger units1 so does the home4 ,we must look for the increasing prevalence of the city type of life for men and women and for families4 #c4 ,,the ,,economical ,,development ,it is worth while to note1 in some brief detail1 just what changes are involved in the tendency toward communal living4 ,at the beginning of the industrial revolution which ushered in the factory period1 each family was a fairly complete unit in itself4 ,the village was little more than a nucleus of farmhouses1 with a few differing types of units1 such as workers in wood1 in wearing apparel1 and in tools4 ,the home furnished nearly all its own food1 spun and made its clothes1 trained its own children1 and knew scarcely any community endeavor or any syndication of effort except in the church4 ,the industrial revolution took labor largely out of the home into the factory4 ,except for farm life1 the husband became an outside worker and the older boys followed him to the distant shop or factory4 ,earning a living ceased to be a family act and became a social act in a larger sphere4 ,but in this change it ceased to be a part of the family educational process4 ,boys who1 from childhood up1 had gradually learned their father's trade in the shop or workroom1 which was part of the house1 where they played as children in the shavings1 or watched the glowing sparks in the smithy1 now missed the process of a father's discipline and guidance as their hands acquired facility for their tasks4 ,the home lost the male adults for from nine to twelve hours of each day1 more than two-thirds of the waking period1 and thus it lost a large share of disciplinary guidance4 ,in the rise of the factory system1 to a large extent the family lost the father4 ,when the workshop left the home its most efficient school was taken from it4 ,the lessons may have been limited1 crude1 and deadly practical1 but the method approximated to the ideals which modern pedagogy seeks to realize4 ,among the shavings children learned by doing2 schooling was perfectly natural2 it involved all the powers2 it had the incalculable value of informality and reality4 ,the father gone and the mother still fully occupied with her tasks1 the children lost that practical training for life which home industry had afforded4 ,on the one hand1 the young became the victims of idleness and1 on the other1 the prey of the voracious factory system4 ,this condition gave rise to the public-school system4 ,it appealed to ,robert ,raikes and others4 ,the school appeared and took over the child4 ,of course schools had existed1 here and there1 long before this1 but now they had an enlarged responsibility2 they must act almost in the place of the parents for the formal training of children4 ,having lost the father and older males for the greater portion of the day1 the home now loses the children of from seven to the 'teen years for five or six hours of the day4 ,the mother is left at home with the babies4 ,the family1 once living under one roof1 now is found scattered2 it has reached out into factory and school4 ,its hours of unified life have been markedly reduced4 ,but the factory system soon had a reflex influence on the home4 ,that which was made in the factory came back into the home1 not only in the form of the articles formerly made by the men1 but in those made by the women4 ,clothes1 candles1 butter1 cheese1 preserves1 and meat--all formerly home products for the use of the family producing them--now were prepared in larger quantities1 by mechanical processes1 and were brought back into the home4 ,woman's labor was lightened2 the older girls were liberated from the loom and they began to seek occupation1 education1 and diversion according to their opportunities in life4 ,that last step made it possible for people to think of the communization of home industry1 to think of eating food cooked in other ovens than their own1 to think of one oven large enough for a whole village4 ,many interesting experiments in co-operative living immediately sprang up4 ,but the next step came slowly and1 even now1 is only firmly established in the cities1 in the actual abandonment of the family kitchen for the community kitchen in the form of the restaurant4 ,in such families we have unity only in the hours of sleep and recreation4 ,along with abandonment of the separate kitchen there has proceeded the abandonment of the parlor in the homes of the middle classes4 ,to lose the old1 mournful front room may be no subject for tears1 but the loss of the evening family group1 about the fireside or the reading-lamp1 is a real and sad loss4 ,the commercialized amusements have offered greater attractions to vigorous youth4 ,the theater and its lesser satellites1 amusements1 entertainments1 lectures1 the lyceum1 and recreation-by-proxy in ball games and matches have taken the place of united family recreation4 ,of course this has been a natural development of the older village play-life and has been by no means an unmixed ill4 ,now1 behold1 what has become of the old-time home life6 ,the family that spent nearly twenty-four hours together now spends a scarce seven or eight1 and these are occupied in sleeping6 ,little wonder that the next step is taken--the abandonment of this remainder1 the sleep period1 under a domestic roof1 as the family moves into a hotel6 ,along with the tendency toward communal working and eating we see the tendency to communal living by the development of the apartment building4 ,since roof-trees are so expensive1 and since in a practical age1 few of us can afford to pay for sentiment1 why not put a dozen families under one roof-tree8 ,true we sacrifice lawns1 gardens1 natural places for children to play2 we lose birds and flowers and the charm of evening hours on porches1 or galleries1 but think of what we gain in bricks and mortar1 in labor saved from splitting wood and shoveling coal1 in janitor service6 ,the transition is now complete2 the home is simply that item in the economic machinery which will best furnish us storage for our sleeping bodies and our clothes6 ,we are undoubtedly in a period of great changes in family life1 and no family can count on escaping the influence of the change4 ,the one single outstanding and most potent change1 so far as the character of family life is concerned1 is1 in the ,united ,states1 the rapid polarization of population in the cities4 ,the ,united ,states ,census ,bureau counts all residents in cities of over #h1jjj population as urban4 ,in #ahjj the urban population was #d per cent of the total population2 in #ahej it was #ab4e per cent2 in #ahgj1 #bj4i per cent2 in #ahij1 #bi4b per cent2 in #aijj1 #cc4a per cent2 in #aiaj it was estimated at #dj per cent4#b ,here is a trend so clearly marked that we cannot deny its reality1 while its significance is familiar to everyone today4 ,however1 the village type remains2 there are still many homes where a measure of family unity persists1 where at least in one meal daily and1 for purposes of sleeping and1 occasionally1 for the evening hours of recreation1 there is a consciousness of home life4 ,yet the most remote village feels the pressure of change4 ,the few homes conforming to the older ideals are recognized as exceptional4 ,the city draws the village and rural family to itself1 and the contagion of its customs and ideals spreads through the villages and affects the forms of living there4 ,youths become city dwellers and do not cease to scoff at the village unless later years give them wisdom to appreciate its higher values4 ,the standard of domestic organization is established by the city2 that type of living is the ideal toward which nearly all are striving4 ,the important question for all persons is whether the changes now taking place in family life are good or ill4 ,it is impossible to say whether the whole trend is for the better2 the many elements are too diverse and often apparently conflicting4 ,faith in the orderly development of society gives ground for belief that these changes ultimately work for a higher type of family life4 ,the city may be regarded as only a transition stage in social evolution--the compacting of masses of persons together that out of the new fusing and welding may arise new methods of social living4 ,the larger numbers point to more highly developed forms of social organization4 ,when these larger units discover their greater purposes1 above factory and mill and store1 and realize them in personal values1 the city life will be a more highly developed mechanism for the higher life of man4 ,the home life will develop along with that city life4 #d4 ,,purposeful ,,organization ,at present the home is suffering1 just as the city is suffering1 from a lack of that purposeful organization which will order the parts aright and subject the processes to the most important and ultimate purposes4 ,the city is simply an aggregation of persons1 scarcely having any conscious organization1 thrown together for purposes of industry4 ,it will before very long organize itself for purposes of personal welfare and education4 ,the family is usually a group bound in ties of struggle for shelter1 food1 and pleasure4 ,such consciousness as it possesses is that of being helplessly at the mercy of conflicting economic forces4 ,the adjustment of those forces1 their subjection to man's higher interests1 must come in the future and will help the family to freedom to discover its true purpose4 ,it is easy to insist on the responsibility of parents for the character-training of their children1 but it is difficult to see how that responsibility can be properly discharged under industrial conditions that take both father and mother out of the home the whole day and leave them too weary to stay awake in the evening1 too poor to furnish decent conditions of living1 and too apathetic under the dull monotony of labor to care for life's finer interests4 ,the welfare of the family is tied up with the welfare of the race2 if progress can be secured in one part progress in the whole ensues4 ,there are those who raise the question whether family life is a permanent form of social organization for which we may wisely contend1 or is but a phase from which the race is now emerging4 ,some see signs that the ties of marriage will be but temporary1 that children will be born1 not into families but into the life of the state1 bearing only their mothers' names and knowing no brothers and sisters save in the brotherhood of the state4 ,whether the permanent elements in family life furnish a sufficiently worthy basis for its preservation is a subject for careful consideration4 #e4 ,,the ,,home ,,and ,,the ,,family ,the family is more important than the home1 just as the man is more than his clothing4 ,the form of the home changes2 the life of the family continues unchanged in its essential characteristics4 ,the family causes the home to be4 ,professor ,arthur ,j4 ,todd insists that the family is the basis of marriage1 rather than marriage the cause of the family4#c ,small groups for protection and social living would precede formal arrangements of monogamy4 ,westermarck concludes that it was for the benefit of the young that male and female continued to live together4#d ,the importance of this consideration for us lies in the thought of the overshadowing importance of this social group which we now call the family4 ,the family is the primary cell of society1 the first unit in social organization4 ,our thought must balance itself between the importance of this social group1 to be preserved in its integrity1 and the value of the home1 with its varied forms of activity and ministry1 as a means of preserving and developing this group1 the family4 ,one hears today many pessimistic utterances regarding the modern home4 ,some even tell us that it is doomed to become extinct4 ,without doubt great economic changes in society are producing profound changes in the organization and character of the home4 ,but the home has always been subject to such changes2 the factor which we need to watch with greater care is the family2 the former is but the shell of the latter4 ,the character of each home will depend largely on the economic condition of those who dwell in it4 ,the homes of every age will reflect the social conditions of that age4 ,the picture in historical romances of the home of the mediaeval period1 where the factory1 or shop1 joined the dining-room1 where the apprentices ate and roomed in the home1 where one might be compelled to furnish and provision his home literally as his castle for defense1 presents a marked difference to the home of this century tending to syndicate all its labors with all the other homes of the community4 ,since the home is simply the organization and mechanism of the family life1 it is most susceptible to material and social changes4 ,it varies as do the fashions of men4 ,much that we assume to be detrimental to the life of the home is simply due to the fact that in the evolution of society the family1 as it were1 puts on a new suit of clothes1 adopts new forms of organization to meet the changing external conditions4 #f4 ,,the ,,home ,,changing2 ,,the ,,family ,,abiding ,the home is of importance only as a tool1 a means to the final ends of the family life2 the test of its efficiency is not whether it maintains traditional forms but whether it best serves the highest aims of family life4 ,we may abandon all the older customs2 our regret for them1 as we look back on the days of home cooking1 cannot be any greater than the regrets of our parents or grandparents looking back on the spinning-wheel and the hand loom that cumbered the kitchen of their childhood4 ,surely no one contends that family life has deteriorated1 that human character is one whit the poorer1 because we have discarded the family spinning-wheel4 ,through the changes of a developing civilization1 as man has moved from the time when each one built his own house1 worked with his own tools to make all his supplies1 to these days of specialized service in community living1 the home has changed with each step of industrial progress1 but the family has remained practically unchanged4 ,the family stands a practically unchanging factor of personal qualities at the center of our civilization2 the family rather than the home determines the character of the coming days4 ,in its social relationships are rooted the things that are best in all our lives4 ,in its social training lie the solutions of more problems in social adjustment and development than we are willing to admit4 ,the family is the soil of society1 central to all its problems and possibilities4 ,before church or school the family stands potent for character4 ,we are what we are1 not by the ideals held before us for thirty minutes a week or once a month in a church1 nor by the instructions given in the classroom2 we are what parents1 kin1 and all the circumstances that have touched us daily and hourly for years have determined we should be4 ,the sweetest memories of our lives cluster about the scenes of family life4 ,the rose-embowered cottage of the poet is not the only spot that claims affectionate gratitude2 many look back to a city house wedged into its monotonous row4 ,but1 wherever it might be1 if it sheltered love and held a shrine where the altar fires of family sacrifice burned1 earth has no fairer or more sacred spot4 ,the people rather than the place made it potent4 ,stronger even than the memories that remain are the marks of habits1 tendencies1 tastes1 and dispositions there acquired4 ,many a man who has left no fortune worth recording to his sons has left them something better1 the aptitude for things good and honorable1 the memory of a good name1 and the heritage of a life that was worthy of honor4 ,the personal life has been always the enduring thing4 ,our concern for the future should be not whether we can pass on intact the forms of home organization1 but whether we can give to the next day the force of ideal family life4 ,perhaps like ,mary we would do well to turn our eyes from the much serving1 the mechanisms of the home1 to set our minds on the better part1 the personal values in the association of lives in the family4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,w4,f4 ,lofthouse1 ,ethics and the ,family1 chaps4 ii1 xi1 xii4 ,hodder ,stoughton1 #b4ej4 ,charles ,r4 ,henderson1 ,social ,duties from the ,christian ,point of ,view1 chaps4 ii1 iii4 ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press1 #a4be4 ,c4,w4 ,votaw1 ,progress of ,moral and ,religious ,education in the ,american ,home4 ,religious ,education ,association1 #j4be4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,jacob ,a4 ,riis1 ,peril and ,preservation of the ,home4 ,jacobs1 ,philadelphia1 ,pa41 #a4jj4 ,charles ,r4 ,henderson1 ,social ,elements4 ,scribner1 #a4ej4 ,charles ,f4 ,thwing1 ,the ,recovery of the ,home4 ,american ,baptist ,publication ,society1 #j4ae4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,the tendency toward community life illustrated in the schools1 amusement parks1 and hotel life4 ,remembering the ultimate purpose of the family1 how far is communal life desirable8 #b4 ,does the apartment or tenement building furnish a suitable condition for the higher purposes of the family8 #c4 ,is it possible to restore to the home some of the benefits lost by present factory consolidation of industry8 #d4 ,what can take the place of the old household arts and of those which are now passing8 #e4 ,what steps should be taken to secure to the family a larger measure of the time in terms of occupation of the parents8 #f4 ,what are the important things to contend for in this institution8 ,why should we expect change in the form of the home and what are the features which should not be changed8 ,,footnotes3 #b ,figures taken from ,c4,w4 ,votaw1 ,progress of ,moral and ,religious ,education in the ,american ,home1 #aiaa4 #c ,a4,j4 ,todd1 ,primitive ,family and ,education1 p4 #ba4 ,a most valuable and suggestive book4 #d ,cited by ,todd1 p4 #ba4 ,,chapter ,,iii ,,the ,,permanent ,,elements ,,in ,,family ,,life #a4 ,,the ,,dominant ,,motive ,the chief end of society is to improve the race1 to develop the higher and steadily improving type of human beings4 ,we can test the life of the family and determine the values of its elements by asking whether and in what degree they minister to this end1 the growth of better persons4 ,this is more than a theoretical aim or one conceived in a search for ideals4 ,it is written plain in our passions and strongest inclinations4 ,that which parents supremely desire for their children is that they may become strong in body1 capable and alert in mind1 and animated by worthy principles and ideals4 ,the parent desires a good man1 fit to take his place1 do his work1 make his contribution to the social well-being1 able to live to the fulness of his powers1 to take life in all its reaches of meaning and heights of vision and beauty4 ,in true parenthood all hopes of success1 of riches1 fame1 and ease1 are seen but as avenues to this end1 as means of making the finer character1 of growing the ideal person4 ,if we were compelled to choose for our children we should elect poverty1 pain1 disgrace1 toil1 and suffering if we knew this was the only highway to full manhood and womanhood1 to completeness of character4 ,indeed1 we do constantly so choose1 knowing that they must endure hardness1 bear the yoke in their youth1 and learn that ,love and joy are torches lit ,at altar fires of sacrifice4 ,with this dominating purpose clearly in mind we are prepared to ask1 ,what are the elements of family life which among the changes of today we need most carefully to preserve in order to maintain efficiency in character development8 ,in days when the outer shell of domestic arrangements changes1 when readjustments are being made in the organization of the family1 what is there too precious to lose1 so worthy and essential that we waste no time when seeking to maintain it8 #b4 ,,potencies ,,to ,,be ,,preserved--,,social ,,qualities ,the first great element to be preserved in all family life is that of the power of the small group for purposes of character development4 ,the infant's earliest world is the mother's arms4 ,in order to grow into a man fitted for the wider world of social living1 he must learn to live in a world within his comprehension4 ,a child's life moves through the widening circles of mother-care1 family group1 neighborhood1 school1 city1 state1 and nation into world-living4 ,he must take the first steps before he is able to take the next ones4 ,he must learn to live with the few as preparation for living with the many4 ,in earliest infancy he takes his first unconscious lessons in the fine art of living with other folks as he relates himself to parents and to brothers and sisters4 ,secondly1 the family life affords the best agency for social training4 ,the family is the ideal democracy into which the child-life is born4 ,here habits are formed1 ideals are pictured1 and life itself is interpreted4 ,it is an ideal democracy1 first1 because it is a social organization existing for the sake of persons4 ,the family comes nearer to fulfilling the true ideal of a democratic social order than does any other institution4 ,it is founded to bring lives into this world2 it is maintained for the sake of those lives2 all its life1 its methods1 and standards are determined1 ideally1 by the needs of persons4 ,it is an ideal democracy1 secondly1 because its guiding principle is that the greater lives must be devoted to the good of the lesser1 the parent for the little child1 the older members for the younger1 in an attempt to extend to the very least the greatest good enjoyed by all4 ,thirdly1 ideally it is a true democracy in that it gives to each member a share in its own affairs and develops the power to bear responsibilities and to carry each his own load in life4 ,thus the family group is the best possible training for the life and work of the larger group1 the state1 and for world-living4#e ,the maintenance of the ideals of the state1 as a democracy1 depends on the continuance of this institution with its peculiar power to train life in infancy and childhood for the life of manhood in the state4 ,such training can be given only in the smaller group that is governed by the motives peculiar to home and family life4 ,the power to impress these principles depends on the size of the group4 ,the small social organization1 the family circle of from three members to even a dozen1 bound by ties of affection1 is the one great1 efficient school1 training youth to live in social terms4 ,thirdly1 the family sets spiritual values first4 ,our age especially needs men and women who think in terms of spiritual values1 who rise above the measures of pounds and dollars and weigh life by personal qualities and worth4 ,that is precisely what the home does4 ,it prizes most highly the helpless1 economically worthless infant2 it measures every member by his personal character1 his affectional worth4 ,its riches do not depend on that which money can buy1 but on the personal qualities of love1 goodness1 kindness2 on memories1 associations1 affection4 ,the true home gives to every child-life the power to choose the things of the world on the basis of their worth in personality4 ,only the mistaken judgments of later years1 the short-minded wisdom of the world1 make youth gradually lose the habit of preferring the home's spiritual benefits to the material rewards of the world of business4 ,no life can be furnished for the strain of our modern materialism that lacks the basis of idealism furnished in the true family4 #c4 ,,potencies ,,to ,,be ,,preserved--,,the ,,moral ,,life ,fourthly1 the power of family living to develop love as loyalty is to be noted4 ,in this small group is laid the foundation of the moral life4 ,the family is the primer in the moral education of the race4#f ,here the new-born life begins to relate itself to other lives4 ,here it begins life in an atmosphere saturated by love1 the central principle of all virtue1 eventually loyalty to ideals in persons and devotion to them1 the greatest of these1 because it is the parent of all virtue4 ,the moral life1 that life which is adjusted1 capable1 and adequately motived for helpful1 efficient1 enriching living with all other lives1 is not a matter of rules1 regulations1 and restrictions4 ,neither is it a matter of separate habits as to this or the other kind of behavior1 though this comes nearer to it than do rules and prescriptions4 ,the character-life which parents desire for their children is not that which will do the right thing when it has discovered that right thing in some book of rules1 nor that life which will do the right thing because society points that way1 nor even that life which automatically does the right thing1 but it is the life which1 constantly moved by some high inner compulsion1 some imperative of vision and ideal1 moves to the highest possible plane of action in every situation4 ,this is the life of loyalty4 ,it begins with loyalty to persons1 with that devotion which begins with affection4 ,in no other place is this so well developed as in the relations of the family4 ,this is the child's first and most potential school4 ,here the lessons are wholly unconscious2 here they are strengthened by the pleasurable emotions4 ,it is a joy to be loyal to those we love4 ,indeed1 who can tell which comes first1 the joy1 the loyalty1 or the love8 ,the power of this small social group of the family to develop the fundamental principle of loyalty1 the root of all virtues1 gives a position of great importance to the affections in the family4 ,we do well to contend for the maintenance of conditions of family living which will strengthen the ties of affection4 ,if children could be thrust into the care of the state1 in large groups1 separated from parental care and oversight1 it is difficult to see what emotional stimulus toward affection would remain4 ,the personal devotion to intimate adults would in only the smallest degree compensate for the loss of father and mother4 ,we know nothing of such devotion arising to any large degree in orphan asylums1 still less in institutions under the cold and impersonal care of the state4 ,it has been urged that the affections of parents stand in the way of a scientific regimen and education for small children4 ,the cold1 passionless1 automatic parent1 then1 would be the ideal--a ,mr4 ,dombey or a ,mr4 ,feverel4 ,parents make many mistakes1 but these mistakes are not due to too much affection1 but to untrained minds and uneducated affections4 ,it were better to save the values of their affections and on them to build a wise discipline for childhood by providing adequate training of parents for their duties4 ,fifthly1 there are some elements of the cost of family life1 even its apparently unnecessary sacrifice and pain1 that we do well to seek to keep4 ,character grows in paying the high price of maintaining a family4 ,it is the most expensive form of living for adults4 ,marriages are now delayed because of the fear of the actual monetary cost2 but far more serious is the cost in care1 in nerves1 in patience1 in all the great elements of self-denial4 ,no child ever knows what he has cost until he has children of his own4 ,but this discipline of self-denial is that which saves us from selfishness4 ,it is necessary to have some personal objects for which to give our lives if they are to be saved from centrifugation1 from death through ingrowing affection4 ,true1 many bachelors and spinsters have learned the way of self-denying1 fellow-serving love4 ,but how can a true parent escape that lesson8 ,nor does it stop with parents2 as children grow up together they1 too1 must learn mutual forbearance1 conciliation1 and1 soon1 the joy of service4 ,one sees selfishness in the little child gradually fading in the practice of family service1 helpfulness1 consideration for others4 ,the single child in a family misses something more important than playmates2 he misses all the education of play and service4 ,but who cannot remember many families that have grown to beauty of character under the discipline of home life1 and especially when this has involved real sacrifices8 ,the stories in the ,pepper books illustrate the spirit that blossoms under the trials and hardships of the struggle of a family for a livelihood and for the maintenance of a home4 ,a clear function becomes evident for this social group called the family4 ,it is that of dealing with young lives1 in groups bound by ties of blood and similarity1 for purposes of the development of personal character4 ,the family has an essentially educational function4 ,bearing in mind that educational means the orderly development of the powers of the life1 we can think of our families as existing for this purpose and to be tested by their ability to do this work1 especially by their ability to develop persons1 young lives1 that have the power1 the vision1 the acquired habits and experience to live as more than animals4 ,the family is an educational institution dealing with child-life for its full growth and its self-realization1 especially on character levels4 ,the educational function suggests the features of family life which we do well to seek to preserve4 ,many incidental forms may pass1 but the essential human relations and experiences that go to develop life and character must be maintained at any cost4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,c4,f4 and ,c4,b4 ,thwing1 ,the ,family1 chap4 vii4 ,lothrop1 ,lee ,shepard1 #a4fj4 ,w4,f4 ,lofthouse1 ,ethics and the ,family1 chaps4 iv1 v4 ,hodder ,stoughton1 #b4ej4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,the ,improvement of ,religious ,education1 ,proceedings of the ,religious ,education ,association1 ,i1 #aai-bc4 #j4ej4 ,religious ,education1 ,april1 #aiaa1 ,,vi1 #a-dh4 ,s4,p4 ,breckinridge and ,e4 ,abbott1 ,the ,delinquent ,child and the ,home4 ,russell ,sage ,foundation1 #b4jj4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what is the chief end of all forms of social organization8 #b4 ,what is in the last analysis the aim of every parent8 #c4 ,what advantage has the family over the school and larger groups for educational purposes8 #d4 ,in what sense is the family an ideal democracy8 #e4 ,show how the family sets spiritual values first4 #f4 ,what in your judgment are the first evidences of character development8 ,in what way do these come to the surface in the family8 ,what is the factor of love in the development of character8 #g4 ,is that an ideal family in which none of the members bear pain or are called upon for self-denial8 ,can you see any especial advantage to character in the very difficulties and apparent disadvantages in the life of the family8 ,,footnotes3 #e ,see ,democracy in the ,home1 ,american ,journal of ,sociology1 ,january1 #aiab4 #f ,francis ,g4 ,peabody1 ,the ,approach to the ,social ,question1 p4 #id4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,the ,,religious ,,place ,,of ,,the ,,family #a4 ,,development ,,as ,a ,,religious ,,institution ,the family is the most important religious institution in the life of today4 ,it ranks in influence before the church4 ,it has always held this place4 ,even among primitive peoples1 where family life was an uncertain quantity1 the relations of parents1 or of one of the parents1 to the children afforded the opportunity most frequently used for their instruction in tribal religious ideals and customs4 ,we cannot generalize as to the practices of savage man in regard to family life1 for those practices range from common promiscuous relationships1 without apparent care for offspring1 to a family unity and purity approaching the best we know2 but this much is certain1 that there was a common sense of responsibility for the training of young children in moral and religious ideas and customs1 and that1 in the degree that the family approached to separateness and unity1 it accepted the primary responsibility for this task4 ,the higher the type of family life the more fully does it discharge its function in the education of the child4#g ,it might be safe to say that among primitive peoples there were three stages1 or types1 of relationship based on the breeding of children1 or three stages of development toward family life4 ,the first is a loose and indefinite relationship existing principally between the adults1 or the males and females1 under which children born when not desired are neglected or strangled and1 when acceptable1 may be in the care of either parent1 or of neither4 ,since the group1 associated through infancy with at least one parent1 is as yet undeveloped1 any instruction will be individual and usually incidental4 ,the second form is that of a kind of family unity1 either about the mother or the father1 or both1 or about a group of parents1 in which the children live together and are sheltered and nurtured for their earlier years4 ,here1 however1 the real relationship of the child is to the tribe1 the family is but his temporary guardian1 and1 at least by the age of puberty1 he will be initiated into the tribal secrets4 ,if he is a boy1 he will cease to be a member of the family group and will go to live in the men's house1 becoming a part of the larger life of the tribe4#h ,such moral and religious instruction as he may acquire will come from the songs1 traditions1 and conversation which he hears as a child4 ,the third type approaches the modern ideal1 with a greater or less degree of permanent unity between the two parents and with permanence in the group of the offspring4 ,the parental responsibility continues for a greater length of time and1 since the tribe makes smaller claims1 and the parents live in the common domestic group1 much more instruction is possible and is given4 ,the tribal ideals1 the traditions1 observances1 and religious rites are imparted to children gradually in their homes4 ,the last type brings us to the ,hebrew conception of family life4 ,it developed toward the ,christian ideal4 ,at first1 polygamy was permitted2 woman was the chattel of man and excluded from any part in the religious rites4 ,but it included the ideal of monogamy in its tradition of the origin of the world1 it denounced and punished adultery 7,deut4 #bb3 #bb71 and it gave especial attention to the training of the offspring4 ,and these words1 which ,i command thee this day1 shall be in thine heart2 and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children1 and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house1 and when thou walkest by the way1 and when thou liest down1 and when thou risest up 444 and thou shalt write them upon the door-posts of thy house and upon thy gates 7,deut4 #f3 #f1 #g1 #i74 ,much later1 the messianic hope1 the belief that in some ,jewish family there should be born one divinely commissioned and endowed to liberate ,israel and to give the ,jews world-sovereignty1 operated to elevate the conception of motherhood and1 through that1 of the family4 ,it made marriage desirable and children a blessing2 it rendered motherhood sacred4 ,it tended to center national hopes and religious ideals about the family4#i ,there are a few glimpses of ideal family life in the ,old ,testament4 ,they are all summed up in the eloquent tribute to motherhood in the words of ,king ,lemuel in the last chapter of the ,book of ,proverbs4 ,it must be remembered1 however1 that such ideals did not belong to the ,jews alone1 that ,plutarch shows many pictures of maternal fidelity and wifely devotion1 that ,greek and ,roman history have their ,cornelia1 ,iphigenia1 and ,mallonia4#aj ,the ,jews are an excellent example of the power of the family life to maintain distinct characteristics and to secure marked development4 ,practically throughout all the ,christian era they have been a people without a land1 a constitution1 or a government1 and yet never without race consciousness1 national unity1 and separateness4 ,their unity has continued in spite of dispersion1 persecution1 and losses2 they have remained a race in the face of political storms that have swept other peoples away4 ,their unity has continued about two great centers1 the customs of religion and the life of the family4 ,the results of ,jewish respect for family life can also be seen in the health of their own children4 ,in #aiaj1 for instance1 among poor ,jews in ,manchester the mortality of infants under one year of age was found to be #aah per thousand2 among poor ,gentiles1 #cjj per thousand2 and comparisons made some six years ago between ,jewish and ,gentile children in schools in the poorer parts of ,manchester and ,leeds 7,england7 have shown that the ,jewish children are uniformly taller1 they weigh more1 and their bones and teeth are superior4#aa #b4 ,,the ,,christian ,,family ,the ,christian family is a type peculiar to itself1 not as a new institution1 for it has developed out of earlier race experience1 but as controlled by a new interpretation1 the spirit and conception of the home and family given in the teaching of ,jesus of ,nazareth4 ,he did not give formal rules for the regulation of homes2 rather he made a spiritual ideal of family life the basic thought of all his teaching4 ,he said more about the family than concerning any other human institution1 yet he established no family life of his own4 ,he is called the founder of the church1 yet he scarcely mentions that institution1 while he frequently teaches concerning home duties and family relations4 ,he glorifies the relations of the family by making them the figure by which men may understand the highest relations of life4 ,he speaks more of fatherhood and sonship than of any other relations4 ,he gives direction for living1 using the family terms of brotherhood4 ,he points forward to ideal living in a home beyond this life4 ,he teaches men when they think of ,god and when they address him to take the family attitude and call him ,father4 ,if we sum up all the teachings of ,jesus and separate them from our preconceptions of their theological content1 we cannot but be impressed with the facts that he seized upon the family life as the best expression of the highest relationships2 that he pointed to a purified family life1 in which spiritual aims would dominate1 as the best expression of ideal relationships among his followers2 and that he glorified marriage and really made the family the great1 divine1 sacramental institution of human society4 ,we can hardly overestimate the importance of such teaching to the character of the family4 ,the early ,christians not only accepted ,jesus as their teacher and savior2 they took their family life as the opportunity to show what the ,kingdom of ,god1 the ideal society1 was like4 ,family life was consecrated4 ,men and women belonged to the new order with their whole households4 ,religion became largely a family matter4 ,the worship that had been confined to the temple now made an altar in every home and a holy of holies in the midst of every family4 ,the scriptures that belonged to the synagogue now belonged in the home4 ,above all1 this family existed for the purposes taught by ,jesus1 that men might grow in brotherhood toward the likeness of the divine ,fatherhood4 ,it was an institution1 not for economic purpose of food and shelter1 not for personal ends of passion or pride1 but for spiritual purpose1 for the growth of persons1 especially the young in the home1 in character1 into the measure of the stature of the fulness of ,christ4 ,christianity is essentially a religion of ideal family life4 ,it conceives of human society1 not in terms of a monarchy with a king and subjects1 but in terms of a family with a great all-,father and his children1 who live in brotherhood1 who take life as their opportunity for those family joys of service and sacrifice4 ,it hopes to solve the world's ills1 not by external regulations1 but by bringing all men into a new family life1 a birth into this new family life with ,god1 so securing a new personal environment1 a new personality as the center and root of all social betterment4 ,he who would come into this new social order must come into the divine family1 must humble himself and become as a little child1 must know his ,father and love his brothers4 ,christianity1 then1 not only seeks an ideal family2 it makes the family the ideal social institution and order4 ,it makes family life holy1 sacramental1 religious in its very nature4 ,this fact gives added importance to the preservation and development of the ideals of family life for the sake of their religious significance and influence4 ,it not only makes religion a part of the life of the home but makes a religious purpose the very reason for the existence of the ,christian type of home4 ,it makes our homes essentially religious institutions1 to be judged by religious products4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,g4,a4 ,coe1 ,education in ,religion and ,morals1 chap4 xvi4 ,revell1 #a4ce4 ,article on ,the ,family1 in ,hastings1 ,encyclopaedia of ,religion and ,ethics4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,on the educational function of the family3 ,a4,j4 ,todd1 ,the ,primitive ,family as an ,educational ,agency4 ,putnam1 #b4jj4 ,on the religious place of the family3 ,c4,f4 and ,c4,b4 ,thwing1 ,the ,family4 ,lothrop1 ,lee ,shepard1 #a4fj4 ,i4,j4 ,peritz1 ,biblical ,ideal of the ,home1 ,religious ,education1 ,,vi1 #cbb4 ,h4 ,hanson1 ,the ,function of the ,family4 ,american ,baptist ,publication ,society1 #j4ae4 ,w4 ,becker1 ,christian ,education1 or the ,duties of ,parents4 ,herder1 #a4jj4 ,a striking presentation of the ,roman ,catholic view2 could be read to advantage by all parents4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what place did religion hold in the primitive family8 ,what reference or allusion do we find in the ,old ,testament to the place of religion in the family 7,deut4 #f3g-i1 #bj-be78 ,what in the ,new ,testament8 #b4 ,what has been the effect of purity of family life on the ,jewish race8 #c4 ,what place did the family hold in the teachings of ,jesus8 #d4 ,what shall we think of the relations of the church and family as to their comparative rights and our duty to them8 #e4 ,do you agree that the family is the most important religious institution8 ,,footnotes3 #g ,for a brief statement see ,brinton1 ,religions of ,primitive ,peoples1 ,lecture #d1 #g2 also ,todd1 ,the ,family as an ,educational ,agency4 #h ,see ,webster1 ,primitive ,secret ,societies1 chaps4 i1 ii4 #i ,on the place of the family in different religious systems see the fine article under ,family in ,hastings1 ,encyclopaedia of ,religion and ,ethics4 #aj ,see ,lecky1 ,history of ,european ,morals1 chap4 ii4 #aa ,quoted by ,lofthouse in ,ethics and the ,family1 p4 #h1 from ,w4 ,hall1 in ,progress 7,london71 ,april1 #aijg4 ,,chapter ,v ,,the ,,meaning ,,of ,,religious ,,education ,,in ,,the ,,family #a4 ,,the ,,function ,,of ,,the ,,family ,with the brief statement of the history of the family and of its function in society which has already been given we are prepared to put together the two conclusions3 first1 that the family has an educational function1 in that it exists as a social institution for the protection1 nurture1 development1 and training of young lives1 and1 secondly1 that it is a religious institution1 the most influential and important of all religious institutions1 whenever it realizes in any adequate degree its possibilities1 because it is rooted in love and loyalty4 ,it exists for personal and spiritual ideals and1 in ,christianity1 it is inseparably connected with the teachings and the ideals of ,jesus4 ,it is educational in function and religious in character1 so that it is essentially an institution for religious education4 ,religious education is not an occasional incident in its life2 it is the very aim and dominating purpose of a high-minded family4 #b4 ,,what ,,is ,,religious ,,education8 ,to make this the more clear we may need to clarify our minds as to certain popular conceptions of education4 ,education means much more than instruction2 religious education means much more than instruction in religion4 ,many habitually think of an educational institution as necessarily a place where pupils sit at desks and teachers preside over classes1 the teachers imparting information which is to be memorized by the pupils1 so that1 from this point of view1 a ,sunday school would be almost the only institution for the religious education of children in existence1 because it is the only one exclusively devoted to imparting instruction to children in specifically religious subjects4 ,such a view would limit religious education in the home to the formal teaching of the ,bible and religious dogma by parents4 ,the memorizing of scriptural passages and of the different catechisms once constituted a regular duty in almost all well-ordered homes4 ,today it is rarely attempted4 ,does that mean that religious education has ceased in the home8 ,but education means much more than instruction4 ,education is the whole process1 of which instruction is only a part4 ,education is the orderly development of lives1 according to scientific principles1 into the fulness of their powers1 the realization of all their possibilities1 the joy of their world1 the utmost rendering in efficiency of their service4 ,it includes the training of powers of thought1 feeling1 willing1 and doing2 it includes the development of abilities to discern1 discriminate1 choose1 determine1 feel1 and do4 ,it prepares the life for living with other lives2 it prepares the whole of the life1 developing the higher nature1 the life of the spirit1 for living in a spiritual universe4 ,religious education1 then1 means much more than instruction in the literature1 history1 and philosophy of religion4 ,it means the kind of directed development which regards the one who is developing as a religious person1 which seeks to develop that one to fulness of religious powers and personality1 and which uses1 as means to that end1 material of religious inspiration and significance and1 indeed1 regards all material in that light4 ,religious education seeks to direct a religious process of growth with a religious purpose for religious persons4 ,religious education is the spirit which characterizes the work of every educator who looks on the child as a spiritual nature1 a religious person2 it is the work of every educator who sees his aim as that of training this spiritual person to fulness of living in a society essentially spiritual4 ,in simplest possible terms1 religious education means the training of persons to live the religious life and to do their work in the world as religious persons4 ,it must mean1 then1 the development of character2 it includes the aim1 in the parents' minds1 to bring their children up to the measure of the stature of the fulness of ,christ4 ,it is evident that this is a much greater task1 and yet more natural and beautiful1 than mere instruction in formal ideas or words in the ,bible or in a catechism2 that it is not and cannot be accomplished in some single period1 some set hour1 but is continuous1 through all the days2 that it pervades not only the spoken words1 but the actions1 organization1 and the very atmosphere of the home4 #c4 ,,the ,,educational ,,process ,normal persons never stop growing4 ,just as children grow all the time in their bodies1 so do adults and all others grow all the time in mind and will and powers of the higher life whenever they live normally4 ,we grow spiritually1 not only in church and under the stimulus of song and prayer1 but we grow when the beauty of the woods appeals to us1 when the face lightens at the face of a friend1 when we meet and master a temptation1 when we brace up under a load1 when we do faithfully the dreary1 daily task1 when we adjust our thoughts in sympathy to others1 when we move in the crowd1 when we think by ourselves4 ,the educational process is continuous4 ,the children in the home are being moved1 stimulated1 every instant1 and they are being changed in minute but nevertheless real and important degrees by each impression4 ,there is never a moment in which their character is not being developed either for good or for ill4 ,religious education--that is1 the development of their lives as religious persons--goes on all the time in the home1 and it is either for good or for ill4 ,next to the idea of the continuous and all-pervasive character of this process of religious development the most important thought for us is that religious education in the home may be determined by ourselves4 ,this continuous1 fateful process is not a blind1 resistless one4 ,it is our duty to direct it4 ,it is possible for wise parents to determine the characters of their children4 ,we must not forget this4 ,it cannot be too strongly insisted on4 ,the development of life is under law4 ,this is an orderly world4 ,things do not just happen in it4 ,we believe in a law that determines the type of a cabbage1 the character of a weed4 ,do we believe that this universe is so ordered that there is a law for weeds and none for the higher life of man8 ,do we hold that cabbages grow by law but character comes by chance8 ,if there is a law we may find it and must obey it4 ,if we may know how to develop character1 with as great certainty as we know how to do our daily work1 will not this be our highest task1 our greatest joy1 the supreme thing to do in life8 #d4 ,,the ,,consequent ,,obligation ,this is the first great obligation of parents and of those who are willing to accept the joys and responsibilities of parenthood4 ,we have no right to bring into this world lives with all the possibilities that a religious nature involves unless we know how to develop those lives for the best and from the worst4 ,when we picture what a little child may become1 from the vile1 depraved1 despoiling beast or the despicable1 sneaking hypocrite on one extreme1 to the upright1 ,god-loving1 man-serving man or woman with the love of purity1 honor1 truth1 and goodness speaking through the life1 we may well pause1 realizing we need more than a sentimental desire that the child may reach the heights of goodness3 we must know the way there and the methods of leading the life in that way4 ,true devotion to ,god and to childhood will mean more than petitions for the salvation of children2 it will mean the prayer that is labor and the labor that is prayer to know how they may attain fulness of spiritual life2 it will mean reverent searching into the divine ways of growth in grace4 ,the study of the means and methods of religious education1 especially of children1 in the home and family1 is one of the most evident and important religious duties resting on parents and all who contemplate marriage and family life4 #e4 ,,what ,,is ,,meant ,,by ,,the ,,religious ,,development ,,of ,,the ,,child8 ,in discussing the development of character in children one hears often the question1 ,which is the earliest virtue to appear in a child8 ,people will debate whether it is truthfulness1 reverence1 kindness1 or some other virtue4 ,all this implies a picture of the child as a tree that sends forth shoots of separate virtues one after another4 ,but the character desired is not a series of branches1 it is rather like a symmetrical tree2 it is not certain parts1 but it is the whole of a personality4 ,the development of religious character is not a matter of consciously separable virtues1 but is the determination of the trend and quality of the whole life4 ,moral training is not a matter of cultivating honesty today1 purity tomorrow1 and kindness the day after4 ,virtues have no separate value4 ,character cannot be disintegrated into a list of independent qualities4 ,we seek a life that1 as a whole life1 loves and follows truth1 goodness1 and service4 #f4 ,,early ,,tendencies ,but it is wise to inquire as to those manifestations of a pure and spiritual life which will earliest appear4 ,one does not need to look far for the answer4 ,children are always affectionate2 they manifest the possibilities of love4 ,true1 this affection is rooted in physiological experience1 based on relations to the mother and on daily propinquity to the rest of the family1 but it is that which may be colored by devotion1 elevated by unselfish service1 and may become the first great1 ideal loyalty of the child's life4 ,little boys will fight and girls will quarrel more readily over the question of the merits of their respective parents than over any other issue4 ,almost as soon as a child can talk he boasts of the valor of his father1 the beauty of his mother4 ,here is loyalty at work4 ,he stands for them2 he resents the least doubt as to their superiority1 not because they give him food and shelter1 but because they are his1 because to him they are worthy2 in all things they have the worth1 the highest good2 they are1 in person1 the virtue of life4 ,therefore in fighting for the reputation of his parents he is practicing loyalty to an ideal4 ,the principle of loyalty is the life-force of virtue2 it is like the power that sends the tree toward the heavens1 the upthrust of life4 ,it may be cultivated in a thousand ways4 ,provided there is the outreach and upreach of loyalty within and that there is furnished without the worthy object1 ideal1 and aim1 the life will grow upward and increase in character1 beauty1 and strength4 ,next to the affectionate idealization of parents and home-folk one of the earliest manifestations of the spirit of loyalty in the child is his desire to have a share in the activities of the home4 ,he would not only look like those he admires2 he would do what they do4 ,this is more than mere imitation2 it is loyalty at work again4 ,the direction of this tendency is one of the largest opportunities before parents and can make the most important contribution to character4 ,the religious life of the child is essentially a matter of loyalty4 ,his faith1 affections1 aspirations1 and endeavors turn toward persons1 institutions1 and concepts which are to him ideal4 ,he does not analyze1 he cannot describe1 or even narrate1 his religious experiences1 but he affectionately moves1 with a sense of pleasure1 toward those things which seem to him ideal1 toward parents1 customs of the home or school1 the church1 his class1 his teacher1 toward characters in story-books4 ,he is likely to think of ,jesus in just that way1 as the one person whom he would most of all like to know and be with4 ,the life of virtue and the religious life then will be weak or strong in the measure that the child has the stimulating ideals which call forth his loyalty and in the measure that he has opportunity to express that loyalty4 ,his religious life will consist1 not so much in external forms perhaps1 still less in intellectual statements about theology or even about his own experiences1 as in a growing realization of the great ideals1 an increasing sense of their meaning and reality within1 and1 on the objective side1 a steady moving of his life toward them in action and habits and therefore in character and quality4 #g4 ,,important ,,considerations ,it is worth while to insist upon two important considerations4 ,parents who stand as gardeners watching the growth of the tender plant of child-character may be looking for developments that never ought to come and will be disappointed because they were looking for the wrong thing4 ,first1 in watching for the beginnings of the religious life of the child in the family we are not expecting some new addition to the life1 but rather the development of this whole life as a unity in a definite direction which we call religious4 ,it is the first and most important consideration that religious education is not something added to the life as an extra subject of interest1 but the development of the whole life into religious character and usefulness4 ,secondly1 this growth of religious character is going on all the time4 ,it is not separable into pious periods2 it is a part of the very life of the family4 ,perhaps this increases the difficulty of our task1 for it removes it from the realm of the mechanical1 from that which is easily apprehended and estimated4 ,it takes the task of the religious education of children out of the statistical into the vital1 and reminds us that we are growing life every second1 that there is never a moment when religious education is not in operation4 ,this demands a consideration1 not alone of lessons1 of periods of worship and instruction1 but of every influence1 activity1 and agency in all the family life that in any way affects the thinking1 feeling1 and action of the child4 ,we are thinking of something more important than organizing instruction and exercises in religion in the home2 we are thinking of organizing the family life for religious purposes1 for the purpose of growing lives into their spiritual fulness4 ,perhaps the capital mistake in the religious education of the family is that we overemphasize this or the other method and mechanism instead of bending every effort to secure a real religious atmosphere and soil in which young souls can really grow while we leave the process of growth more largely to the great husbandman4 ,and the second great mistake is that we are looking for mechanical evidence of a religious life instead of for the development of a whole person4 ,we must reinterpret the family to ourselves and see it as the one great opportunity life affords us to grow other lives and to bring them to spiritual fulness by providing a social atmosphere of the spirit and a constant1 normal presentation of social living in spiritual terms4 #h4 ,,the ,,organization ,,of ,,loyalty ,when parents conceive the family in these terms and so organize the life of the home1 the child becomes conscious of the fact1 and at once the life of the family furnishes him with his first1 his nearest1 and most satisfactory appeal to loyalty4 ,he feels that which he cannot analyze or express1 the spiritual beauty and loyalty of family life4 ,that life furnishes a soil and atmosphere for his soul4 ,it is an atmosphere made of many elements3 the primary and dominating purpose of parents and older persons1 the habitual life of service and love1 the consciousness of the reality of the ,divine ,presence1 the fragrance of chastened character and experience1 the customs of worship and affections4 ,these things are not easily created1 they cannot be readily defined1 nor can directions be given in a facile manner for their cultivation4 ,they are the elements most difficult to describe1 hardest of all to secure when lacking1 least easily labeled1 not to be purchased ready-made1 and yet without them religious education is wholly impossible in the family4 ,without this immediate appeal to loyalty the loyalties of the child toward higher and divine aims do not develop early2 they are retarded and often remain dormant4 ,for us all scarcely any more important question can be presented than this3 ,what appeals to spiritual idealism and loyalty does our family life present to the child8 ,what quickening of love for goodness and purity1 truth and service1 is there in the home and its conduct8 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,g4,a4 ,coe1 ,education in ,religion and ,morals1 chaps4 i1 ii1 xii1 xiii4 ,revell1 #a4ce4 ,george ,hodges1 ,training of ,children in ,religion1 chaps4 i1 ii4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,j4,t4 ,mc,farland1 ,preservation versus ,resurrection4 ,eaton ,mains1 #j4jg4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,c4,w4 ,votaw1 ,progress of ,moral and ,religious ,education in the ,american ,home4 ,religious ,education ,association1 #j4be4 ,george ,hodges1 ,training of ,children1 chaps4 i1 ii1 xv4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,g4,a4 ,coe1 ,education in ,religion and ,morals1 chaps4 i1 iv1 xvi4 ,revell1 #a4ce4 ,e4,c4 ,wilm1 ,culture of ,religion1 chaps4 i1 ii4 ,pilgrim ,press1 #j4ge4 ,c4,w4 ,rischell1 ,the ,child as ,god's ,child4 ,methodist ,book ,concern1 #j4ge4 ,e4,e4 ,read ,mumford1 ,the ,dawn of ,character4 ,longmans1 ,green ,co41 #a4bj4 ,see especially chap4 xii on ,the ,dawn of ,religion4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,how would you define education8 #b4 ,what is the difference between education and religious education8 #c4 ,what makes the home especially effective in education8 #d4 ,is it true that it is possible to discover the laws of growth and so determine the development of character8 #e4 ,recall any very early manifestations of religious character in small children4 ,what would you regard as the best kind of manifestation8 #f4 ,what is the essential principle of the right life8 ,how may we develop this in childhood8 #g4 ,what are the things which most of all impress children8 #h4 ,would you think it wise to bring a child under the influence of a religious revival8 ,,chapter ,,vi ,,the ,,child',s ,,religious ,,ideas ,how shall ,i begin to talk with my child about religion8 ,even the most religious parents feel hesitancy here4 ,it may not be at all due to the unfamiliarity of the subject1 though that is often the case2 hesitation is due principally to a conscious artificiality in the action4 ,it seems unnatural to say1 ,my child1 ,i want to talk with you about your religious life4 ,and so it is4 ,there is something wrong when that appears to be the only way4 ,that situation indicates a lack of freedom of thought and intercourse with the child and a lack of naturalness in religion4 #a4 ,,the ,,fundamental ,,difficulty ,the instinct is correct that tells us that we should be trespassing on a child's rights1 or breaking down his proper reticence1 in abruptly and formally questioning him about his religious life4 ,the reserve of children in this matter must be respected4 ,the inner life of aspiration1 of conscious relationship to the divine1 is too sacred for display1 even to those who are near to us4 ,he violates the child's reverence who tears away his reticence4 ,even though the child may not consciously object1 the process leads him toward the irreverent1 facile self-exposure of the soul that characterizes some prayer meetings4 ,but we may1 also1 as easily err in the other direction and1 by failing to invite the confidences of our children1 lead them to suppose we have no interest in their higher life4 #b4 ,,conditions ,,of ,,success ,first1 we must be content to wait for the child to open his heart4 ,we must not force the door4 ,but we can invite him to open1 and the one form of invitation that scarcely ever fails is for you to give him your confidence4 ,talk honestly1 simply to him of the aspects of your religious life that he can understand4 ,if he knows that you confide in him1 he will confide in you4 ,here beware of sentimentality4 ,religion to the child will find expression in everyday experiences4 ,your philosophy of religion he cannot comprehend1 and with your mature emotions he has no point of contact4 ,perhaps the best method of approach is to relate your memories of those experiences which you now see to have had religious significance to you4 ,at the time they may have had no such special meaning4 ,you did not then analyze them4 ,your child will not and must not analyze them1 either2 he must simply feel them4 ,secondly1 rid your mind of the times and seasons notion4 ,there is no more reason why you should talk religion on ,sunday than on ,monday1 unless the day's interests have quickened the child's questioning4 ,there can be no set period2 no times when you say1 ,this is the forty-five minutes of spiritual instruction and conversation4 ,the time available may be very short1 only a sentence may be possible1 or it may be lengthened2 everything will depend on the interest4 ,it must be natural1 a real part of the everyday thought and talk1 lifted by its character and subject to its own level4 ,its value depends on its natural reality4 #c4 ,,religious ,,reality ,thirdly1 avoid the mistake of confounding conversation on religion with religious conversation1 of thinking that the desired end has been attained when you have discussed the terminology of theology4 ,to illustrate1 in the family one hardly ever hears the word hygiene1 but well-trained children learn much about the care of their bodies in health1 and the family economy is directed consciously to that end4 ,a good1 nourishing meal always contributes more to health than many lectures on dietetics4 ,yet back1 hidden away in the manager's mind1 is the science of dietetics4 ,so is it with quickening the child's power and thought in the spiritual life4 ,we must avoid the abstract1 the intellectually analytical4 ,religion should present itself concretely1 practically1 and as an atmosphere and ideal in the family4 ,we parents must not look for theological interest in the child4 ,a ,timothy ,dwight at ten or twelve1 though once found in ,sunday-school library books1 is a monstrosity4 ,the child's aspiration1 his religious devotion1 his love for ,god will find expression in almost every other way before it will be formulated into questions of a serious theological character4 ,nor ought we to force upon him the phrases of religion to which we are accustomed4 ,he will live in another day and must speak its tongue4 ,his faith must find itself in consciousness and then be permitted to clothe itself in appropriate garments of words4 ,those garments must be woven out of the realities of actual experiences in the child's life4 ,we cannot prepare or make them for him4 ,the expression of religion will be consonant with the stage of development4 ,if his faith is to be real he must never be allowed or tempted to imagine that if only he can use the words1 the verbal symbol1 he has the fact1 the life-experience4 ,try then to use words which are simple and meaningful to him and be content to wait for life to lead him to formulate vital verbal forms for himself4 #d4 ,,patience ,,and ,,common-,,sense ,fourthly1 we must have faith in ,god's laws of growth4 ,if we be but faithful1 furnishing the soil1 the seed1 the nurture1 we must wait for the increase4 ,many factors which we cannot control will determine whether it shall be early or late and what form it shall take4 ,we must wait4 ,it is high folly that pulls up the sprouting grain to see whether it is growing properly4 ,fifthly1 manifestations of the religious life will vary in children and in families4 ,the commonest error is to expect some one popular form alone1 to imagine that all children must pass through some standardized experiences4 ,mrs4 ,brown's ,willy may rise in prayer meeting4 ,do not be downhearted4 ,willy is only doing that which he has seen his parents do1 and1 usually1 only because they do it4 ,your boy1 or girl1 is seeking health of life1 of thought1 of action2 is growing in character4 ,let them grow1 help them to grow4 ,you know they love you even when they say little about it2 you do not expect them to climb to the housetop and declare their affection4 ,a flower does not sing about the sun1 it grows toward it4 ,that is the test of the child's religion3 ,is he growing ,godward in life1 action1 character8 #e4 ,,the ,,consciousness ,,of ,,god ,sixthly1 deal most carefully with the child's consciousness of ,god4 ,the truth is that the child in the average home has a consciousness of ,god4 ,it grows out of formal references in social rites and customs1 informal allusions in conversation1 and direct statements and instruction4 ,but frequently the resultant mental picture is a misleading one1 sometimes even vicious in its moral effect4 ,where superstitious servants take more interest in the child's religious ideas than do his parents1 we have the child whose life is darkened by the fear of an omnipotent ogre4 ,nursemaids will slothfully scare small children into silence by threats of the awful presence of a bogey god4 ,the life of the spirit cannot be trusted to the hireling4 ,parents must be sure of the character as well as the superficial competency of those who come closest to childhood4 ,a child's ideas are formed before he goes to school4 ,the family cannot delegate the formation of dominant ideas to persons trained only for nursery tasks4 ,but frequently the mother is a misleading teacher4 ,to her the child goes with all the big questions outside the immediate world of things4 ,is she prepared to answer the questions8 ,few dilemmas of our life today are more pathetic than this3 the mother has outgrown the theology of her childhood2 she remembers keenly the suffering and superstition1 the struggle that followed the darkened pictures she received as a little one1 but she has nothing better to offer the child4 ,no one has taught her how to put the later1 more spiritual concepts into language for the child of our day4 ,weakly she falls back on the forms of words she once abhorred4 ,there are certainly two approaches of reality for the child-mind to the idea of ,god4 ,two immediate experiences are rich in meaning2 they are the life of the family and the wonder of the everyday world1 the life and variety of nature and human activities4 ,the first is a very simple and rich approach4 ,by every possible means help children in the family to think of ,god as the great and good ,father of us all4 ,do this in the phrasing of prayers and graces1 in the answers to their questions1 in the casual word4 ,why should we assume that the ,fatherhood of ,god is for the adult alone8 ,and why should it be that this rich concept dawns on us like a new day of freedom in truth in later years instead of becoming ours in childhood and so determining the habit and attitude of our lives8 ,the finest1 the ideal person is1 to the child1 the father4 ,god in terms of fatherhood is the sum and source of all that is ideal in personality4 ,the child's keen interest in the world of nature is our opportunity to lead him to love the gracious source of all beauty and goodness4 ,how keen is the child's enjoyment of the beauty of the world6 ,can we forever fix the general concept of all this beauty as the thought of ,god in the words of flower and leaf1 mountain and stream8 ,and might we not also connect the idea of ,god with the affairs of daily life8 ,that depends on the parent's attitude of mind2 if we think of the universal life that is behind all battles and business and affairs1 there will be a difference in our answers to the thousand curious inquiries that rise in the child's mind4 ,nor must we leave the child to think of ,god as a separate1 far-off person1 on a throne somewhere in the skies4 ,the child is finding his way into a universe4 ,the ,god who is a minute fraction of that universe makes possible the religion that is no more than a negligible fraction of life4 ,the child asks concerning clouds1 the sea1 the trees1 the birds1 and all the world about him2 he tends to interpret it causally and ideally4 ,childhood affords the great opportunity for giving the color1 the beauty and glory1 the life of the divine to all this universe1 to instil the feeling that ,god is everywhere1 in all and through all1 and that in him we live and move and have our being4 ,the child's joy in this world can thus be given a religious meaning4 ,he sings ,my ,god1 ,i thank thee thou hast made ,this earth so bright44441 and so beauty and joy become part of his religion4 ,his faith becomes a gladsome thing2 he knows that the trees of the forest clap their hands1 the mountains and the hills sing1 and the morning stars chant together in the gladness of the divine life4 ,such a view of the world comes not by prearranged and indoor interviews4 ,one must walk out into the good outdoor world for the opportunity and the inspiration4 ,the garden plot1 the park1 and1 best of all1 the open fields and woods speak to a child and furnish us an open book from which we may teach him to read4 ,recalling religious impressions1 the writer would testify to feeling nothing deeper1 as a result of church attendance in childhood1 than the shapes of seats and the colors of walls2 but there remain deep impressions of wonder1 beauty1 and the meaning of ,god from ,sunday mornings spent with his father under the great beeches in ,epping ,forest1 listening to the reading and singing of the old hymns1 or joining in conversation on the woods and the flowers1 and even on the legends of ,robin ,hood in the forest4 #f4 ,,the ,,everyday ,,opportunities ,seventhly1 natural conversation affords the best opportunity for direct instruction4 ,a child is a peripatetic interrogation4 ,his questions cover the universe2 there are no doors which you desire to see opened that he will not approach at some time4 ,there is great advantage when the religious question rises normally2 when the child begins it and when the interest continues with the same naturalness as in conversation on any other subject4 ,then questions usually take one of three forms3 mere childish1 curious questions1 questions on conduct1 and questions on religion in its organized form4 ,the child's curiosity is the basis of even those questions which have usually been credited to preternatural piety4 ,the tiny youngster who asks strange questions about ,god asks equally startling ones about fairies or about his grandmother4 ,but his questions give us the chance to direct him to right thoughts of ,god4 ,here we need to be sure of our own thoughts and to keep in mind our principal purpose1 to quicken in this child loyalty to the highest and best4 ,he must be shown a ,god whom he can love and1 at the same time1 one who will call for his growing loyalty1 his courage1 and devotion4 ,everything for the child's future depends on the pictures he now forms4 ,we all carry to a large degree our childhood's view of ,god4 ,some of the child's questions probe deep2 how shall we answer them8 ,when you know the truth tell him the truth1 being sure that it is told in language that really conveys truth to his mind4 ,the danger is that parents will attempt to tell more than they know1 to answer questions that cannot be answered1 or that they will1 in sloth or cowardice or ignorance1 tell children untrue things4 ,if a child asks1 ,did ,god make the world8 the answer that will be true to the child may be a simple affirmative4 ,if the child asks or his query implies1 ,did ,god make the leaves1 or the birds1 with his fingers8 we had better take time to show the difference between man's making of things and the working of the divine energy through all the process of the development of the world4 ,when the child asks1 ,mother1 if ,god made all things1 why did he make the devil8 it would surely be wise and opportune to correct the child's mental picture of a personal anti-,god and to take from him his bogey of a devil4 ,but the question of the relation of ,god to the existence of evil would remain1 and the best a parent could do would be to illustrate the necessities of freedom of choice and will in life by similar freedom in the family4 ,it must be remembered that children's curious questions are only their attempt to discover their world1 that they have no peculiar religious significance1 but that they afford the parent a vital opportunity for direct religious instruction4 ,these questions must be treated seriously2 something is missing in parental consciousness when the child's questions furnish only material for jesting relation to the family friends4 #g4 ,,moral ,,teaching ,questions on conduct3 ,scores of times in the day the children come in from play or from school and tell of what has happened4 ,their more or less breathless recitals very often include vigorous accounts of cheating1 naughtiness1 unfair play1 unkind words1 discourtesies1 all dependent as to their character on the age of the children and all opening doors for free conversation on duties and conduct4 ,here lies one of the large opportunities for moral instruction4 ,there is no need to attempt to make formal occasions for this2 so long as children play and live with others they are under the experience of learning the art of living with one another2 this is the simple essence of morality4 ,the parent's answers to their questions on conduct1 the comments on their criticisms1 and the conversation that may easily be directed on these subjects count tremendously with the child in establishing his ideals and modes of conduct4 ,returning to his play1 there is no mightier authority he can quote than to say1 ,my mother says--1 or ,my father says--4 ,let no one say that instruction in moral living is not religious1 for there can be no adequate guidance in morals without religion1 nor can the religious quality of the life find expression adequately except through conduct in social living4 ,children need more than the rules for living2 they must feel motives and see ideals4 ,they do not live by rules any more than we do4 ,besides the rule that is known there must be a reason for following it and a strong desire to do so4 ,all ethical teaching needs this imperative and motivation of religion1 the quickening of loyalty to high ideals1 the doing of the right for reasons of love as well as of duty and profit4 ,the father's opportunity comes especially with the boys4 ,they are sure to bring to him their ethical questions on games and sport2 he knows more about boys' fights and struggles than does the mother4 ,when the boys begin to discuss their games the father cannot afford to lack interest4 ,trivial as the question may seem to be1 it is the most important one of the day to the boy and1 for the interests of his character1 it may be the most important for many a day to the father4 ,if he answers with sympathy and interest this question on a foul ball or on marbles or peg-tops1 he has opened a door that will always stay open so long as he approaches it with sincerity2 if he slights it1 if he is too busy with those lesser things that seem great to him1 he has closed a door into the boy's life2 it may never be opened again4 ,children learn life through the life they are now living4 ,real preparation for the world of business and larger responsibilities comes by the child's experiences of his present world of play and schooling and family living4 ,to help him to live this present life aright is the best training that can be given for the right living of all life4 ,questions on organized religion3 ,as children grow up1 the church comes into their range of interests4 ,just as they often make the day school focal for conversation1 as they recount their day's work there1 so they retain impressions of the church school1 of the services of the church1 and will always ask many questions about this institution and its observances4 ,here is the opportunity1 in free conversation1 to tell the child the meaning of the church1 the significance of membership therein1 and to lead him to conscious relationship to the society of the followers of ,jesus4 7,see chap4 xvii1 ,the ,family and the ,church47 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,alice ,e4 ,fitts1 ,consciousness of ,god in ,children1 ,the ,aims of ,religious ,education1 pp4 #ccj-ch4 ,religious ,education ,association1 #a4jj4 ,w4,g4 ,koons1 ,child's ,religious ,life1 sec4 ,,ii4 ,eaton ,mains1 #a4jj4 ,j4 ,sully1 ,children's ,ways1 chap4 vi4 ,appleton1 #a4be4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,george ,hodges1 ,the ,training of ,children in ,religion1 chaps4 i-vi4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,george ,e4 ,dawson1 ,the ,child and ,his ,religion1 chap4 ii4 ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press1 #j4ge4 ,edward ,lyttleton1 ,the ,corner-,stone of ,education1 chap4 viii4 ,putnam1 #a4ej4 ,t4 ,stephens 7ed471 ,the ,child and ,religion4 ,putnam1 #a4ej4 ,c4,w4 ,richell1 ,the ,child as ,god's ,child4 ,eaton ,mains1 #j4ge4 ,w4,g4 ,koons1 ,the ,child's ,religious ,nature4 ,eaton ,mains1 #a4jj4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what are the special difficulties which you feel about introducing the topic of religion to children8 ,describe any methods or modes of approach which have seemed successful8 #b4 ,would you regard it as a fault if a child seems unwilling to talk about religion8 ,what do you think religion means to the child-mind8 #c4 ,in what ways do children's aptitudes differ and what factors probably determine the difference8 ,what was your own childish conception of ,god8 ,did you love ,god or fear him8 ,why8 #d4 ,is it ever right to teach the child those conceptions which we have outgrown8 ,what about ,santa ,claus and fairies8 ,how can you use childish figures of speech as an avenue to more exact truth8 #e4 ,does the child learn more through ears or eyes8 ,through which agency do we seek to convey religious ideas8 #f4 ,is it possible to make the child see the intimate relation between conduct and religion8 ,how would you do this8 #g4 ,give some of the characteristics of a religious child of seven years1 of ten4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,,directed ,,activity ,probably all parents find themselves at some time thinking that the real1 fundamental problem of training their children lies in dealing with their superabundant energy4 ,he is such an active child6 mothers complain4 ,were he otherwise a physician might properly be consulted4 ,but the child's activity does seriously interfere with parental peace4 ,it takes us all a long time to learn that we are not1 after all1 in our homes in order to enjoy peaceful rest1 but in order to train children into fulness of life4 ,that does not mean that the home should be without quiet and rest1 but that we must not hope to repress the energy of childhood4 ,one might as well hope to plug up a spring in the hillside4 ,our work is to direct that activity into glad1 useful service4 #a4 ,,value ,,of ,,activity ,the things we do not only indicate character1 they determine it4 ,our thoughts have value and power as they get into action4 ,to bend our energies toward an ideal is to make it more real1 to make it a part of ourselves4 ,children learn by doing--learn not only that which they are doing but life itself4 ,it may be doubted whether a child ever grew who did not plead to have a share in the work he saw going on about him4 ,that desire to help is part of that fundamental virtue of loyalty of which we have spoken above2 it is his desire to be true to the tendency of the home1 to give himself to the realization of its purposes4 ,of course he does not think this out at all4 ,but this desire on the part of the child to have a hand in the day's work is the parent's fine opportunity for a most valuable and influential form of character direction4 ,one of the tests of a worthy character is whether the life is contributory or parasitic1 whether one carries his load1 does his work1 makes his contribution1 or simply waits on the world for what he can get4 ,a religious interpretation of and attitude toward life is essentially that of self-giving in service4 ,my ,father worketh hitherto and ,i work4 ,i must be about my ,father's business4 ,how noticeable is the child's interest in the vivid word-picture of ,one who went about doing good6 #b4 ,,the ,,blessing ,,of ,,labor ,the home is the first place for life's habituation to service4 ,the child is greatly to be pitied who has no duties1 no share in the work4 ,where the hands are unsoiled the heart is the easier sullied4 ,it is the height of mistaken kindness1 one of the common errors of an unthinking1 superficial affection1 to protect our children from work4 ,this is a world of the moral order and of the glory of work4 ,when the child is very small it must learn this by having committed to it very simple duties4 ,as soon as it is able to handle things it may learn to do that which is most helpful with those things1 to care for its toys1 to put them away neatly4 ,a child can learn while very young to take care of its spoon1 of certain clothes1 of chair1 and pencil and paper4 ,true1 it is much easier to pick up after the child2 but to do so is to yield to our own sloth4 ,the more tedious way is the one we must follow if we would train the child4 ,besides the care of his possessions the child will gladly take a share in the general work of the home4 ,let some daily duty be assigned to each one2 such simple responsibilities as picking up all papers and magazines and seeing that they are properly stacked or disposed of may be given to one2 another may sweep the stairs every day with a whisk broom 7in one instance a boy of eight did this daily72 another may be librarian1 caring for all books2 each one1 after eight years of age1 should make her own bed2 each one should be entirely responsible for his own table in his room4 ,many homes permit of many other chores1 such as keeping up the supply of small kindling1 caring for a pet or even a larger animal1 keeping a little personal garden or vegetable plot4 ,under those normal conditions of living1 which some day we may reach1 where each family1 or all families1 have trees and flowers and ample space1 the opportunities are increased for joyous child activities which consciously contribute to social well-being as a whole4 #c4 ,,religion ,,in ,,action ,perhaps some will say1 this is not religious education1 it is everyday training4 ,yes1 it is everyday training1 but it is the training of a religious person with the religious purpose of habituating the child to give his life in service to his world4 ,that is precisely what we need--religion in everyday action4 ,the atmosphere and habitual attitude and conversation of the family must be depended on to give a really religious meaning to these everyday acts1 to make them as religious as going to church1 perhaps more so1 and so to make them a training for the life that is religious1 not in word only1 but in deed and in truth4 ,whatever we may say to children on the subject of religion1 whether directly or in teaching by indirection through songs and worship1 must pass over somehow into action in order to have meaning and reality4 ,it must be realized in order to be real4 ,the difficulty that appears is that of connecting the daily act with its spiritual significance4 ,yet that is not as difficult as it seems4 ,if the act has religious significance to us1 if we form the habit of really worshiping ,god with our work1 seeking in it to do his will1 the child will know it4 ,we cannot keep that hidden4 ,the spiritual life will never be more real to the child than it is to us1 and no amount of moralizing or spiritualizing about our acts or his will give them religious significance4 ,at least one person will testify that1 after being brought up in a really religious home1 the most strikingly religious memory of that home is an occasion when he delightedly carried a tray of food to a sick neighbor4 ,it was doing the very thing that he longed to do1 realizing the aspiration that had been unable to find words or form before4 ,so the life of action can be steadily trained by acts of kindness4 ,habits are acts repeated until they pass from the volitional to the involuntary4 ,the only process we can follow is steadily to train the children in the willing and doing of the right1 the good1 and the kindly deed1 until it becomes habitual4 ,let the child prepare the tray of delicacies1 pack the flowers we are sending1 carry them over if possible1 at least have a share in all our ministries4#ab ,the modern ,sunday school recognizes the importance of activity in forming religious character2 therefore it plans and organizes social activities for students to carry out4#ac ,the parents ought to know what is designed for each child in his respective grade and to plan to co-operate with the school4 ,where the family unites in the forms of service suggested for the children1 these activities lose all perfunctoriness and take on a new reality4 ,social usefulness becomes a normal part of life4 ,do we remember the best times of our childhood8 ,were they not when we were doing things8 ,and were not the best of these best times when we were doing the best things1 those that seemed ideal1 that gave us a sense of helping someone or of putting into action the best of our thoughts8 ,that is the chance and the joy our children are longing for1 and that joy will be their strength4 #d4 ,,religion ,,in ,,service ,the family has excellent opportunities for developing through its own activities and duties the habits of the religious life4 ,children may acquire through daily acts the habit of thinking of life as just the chance to love and serve4 ,service may become perfectly normal to life4 ,our modern paupers1 whether they tramp the highways or ride in private cars1 came usually out of homes where the moral standard interpreted life as just the chance of graft1 to gain without giving1 to have without earning4 ,parental indulgence educates in pauperism4 ,let a boy remain the passive beneficiary of all the advantages of a home until he is sixteen or eighteen1 and it will be exceedingly difficult to convert him from the pauper habit4 ,the hard task before parents is to save their children from the snare of passive luxury4 ,perhaps1 remembering our toilsome youth1 we seek to shield them4 ,it is a serious unkindness4 ,it is a wrong to our world4 ,the religious mind is the one that takes life in terms of service1 sees the days as doors to ways of usefulness1 girds itself with the towel1 and finds honor in bending to do the little things for the least of men4 ,vain is all family worship1 all prayer and praise and catechism1 unless we train the feet to walk this way so that they may visit the imprisoned1 clothe the naked1 comfort the sad1 and cheer the broken in heart4 ,the family may make this the normal way to live4 ,if the family would train boys and girls who shall be true followers of the great ,servant1 it must stand among men as a servant1 it must see itself as set in the community to serve1 and by habits of service and helpfulness1 by its whole social tone1 it must quicken in its own people the sense of social obligation and a realization of the delight in self-giving4 ,a home that is selfish in relation to other homes1 in relation to its community1 can have no other than selfish1 antisocial1 and therefore irreligious children4 ,the first step in the welfare of a child is to see that the home which constitutes his personal atmosphere is steeped in the spirit of good-will toward men4 ,the whole attitude of life is determined by the thought-atmosphere of the family4 ,the greedy family makes the grafting citizen4 ,the grasping home makes the pugnacious disturber of the public peace4 ,greater than the question whether you are a good citizen in your relation to the ballot box is the one whether you are a cultivator of good citizenship in your home4 ,no amount of ,sunday-school teaching on the ,beatitudes or week-day teaching on civics is going to overcome the down-drag of envious1 antisocial thought and feeling and conversation in the home4 ,home action and attitude count for more than all besides4 ,it is equally true that no other influence can offset the salutary power of a truly social home1 that the easiest1 most natural1 and effective method of teaching social duty and unselfishness is to do our whole social duty unselfishly4 #e4 ,,family ,,training ,,for ,,social ,,living ,the supreme test of the religious life here is ability to live among men as brothers and to cause the conditions of the divine family to be realized on earth4 ,if we can realize that the purpose of ,jesus was to bring men into the family of ,god1 that the aim of all religious endeavor is the family character in men and women and the conditions of that family in all society1 we must surely appreciate the possibility of the human family as a training school for this larger family of humanity4 ,the infant approaches social living by the pathway of the society of the family4 ,we all go out into life through widening circles1 first the mother's arms1 then the family1 the neighborhood1 the city1 the state1 the nation1 the world-life4 ,each circle prepares for the next4 ,the family is the child's social order2 its life is his training for the larger life of nation and human brotherhood4 ,just how men and women will live in society is determined principally by the bent of their characters in the social order of the family4 ,their attitude to the world follows the attitude of the family1 especially of the parents4 ,they interpret the larger world by the lesser4 ,the home is the great school of citizenship and social living4 ,all the moral and religious problems of the family find a focus in the purpose of preparing persons for social living4 ,the family justifies its cost to society in the contribution which it makes in trained and motived lives4 ,as a religious family its first duty is to prepare the coming generation to live in a religious society1 in one which will steadily move toward the divine ideal of perfect family relations through brotherhood and fatherhood4 ,its business is not to get children ready for heaven1 but to train them to make all life heavenly4 ,its aim is not alone children who will not tear down the parents' reputation1 but men and women who will build up the actual worth and beauty of all lives4 ,the realization1 in the family1 of the purpose of training youth to social living and service in the religious spirit depends on two things3 a spirit and passion in the family for social justice and order1 and the direction of the activities of the family toward training in social usefulness4 ,only the social spirit can give birth to the social spirit4 ,true lovers of men1 who set the values of life and of the spirit first1 who give their lives that all men may have freedom and means to find more abundant life1 come out of the families where the passion of human love burns high4 ,the selfish family1 self-centered1 caring not at all in any deep sense for the well-being of others1 existing to extract the juice of life and let who will be nourished on the rind1 becomes effective to make the social highwayman1 the oppressor4 ,from such a family comes he who breaks laws for his pocketbook and impedes the enactment of laws lest human rights should prevent his acquisition of wealth2 he who hates his brother man--unless that brother has more than he has2 the foe of the kingdom of goodness and peace and brotherhood4 ,and goodness is as contagious as badness4 ,children catch the spirit of social love and idealism in the family4 ,where men and women are deeply concerned with all that makes the world better for lives1 better for babies and mothers1 for workers1 and1 above all1 for the values of the spirit gained through leisure1 opportunities1 and higher incentives2 where the family is more concerned with folks than with furniture2 where habitually it thinks of people as ,jesus did1 as the objects most of all worth seeking1 worth investing in1 there children receive direction1 habituation1 and motivation for the life of religion1 the life that binds them in glad love to the service of their fellows1 and makes them think of all their life as the one great chance to serve1 to make a better world1 and to bring ,god's great family closer together here4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,g4,a4 ,coe1 ,education in ,religion and ,morals1 pp4 #adb-ej4 ,revell1 #a4ce4 ,w4,s4 ,athearn1 ,the ,church ,school1 pp4 #he-ajb4 ,pilgrim ,press1 #a4jj4 ,g4 ,johnson1 ,education by ,plays and ,games1 ,part ,i4 ,ginn ,co41 #j4ij4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,e4,d4 ,angell1 ,play4 ,little1 ,brown ,co41 #a4ej4 ,fisher1 ,gulick1 et al41 ,ethical ,significance of ,play1 ,materials for ,religious ,education1 pp4 #aig-bae4 ,religious ,education ,association1 #j4ej4 ,publications of the ,play ,ground ,association4 ,,iii4 ,methods and ,materials ,,play ,forbush1 ,manual of ,play4 ,jacobs1 #a4jj4 ,a4 ,newton1 ,graded ,games4 ,barnes1 #a4be4 ,von ,palm1 ,rainy ,day ,pastimes4 ,dana ,estes1 #a4jj4 ,johnson1 ,when ,mother ,lets ,us ,help4 ,moffat1 ,yard ,co41 #j4ge4 ,,work ,canfield1 ,what ,shall ,we ,do ,now8 ,stokes1 #a4ej4 ,beard1 ,jack of ,all ,trades4 ,scribner1 #b4jj4 ,beard1 ,things ,worth ,doing4 ,scribner1 #b4jj4 ,bailey1 ,garden ,making4 ,macmillan1 #a4ej4 ,bailey 7ed471 ,something to ,do 7magazine74 ,school ,arts ,publishing ,co4 ,,iv4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,is the quiet child an ideal child8 ,how far should we go in restraining activity8 #b4 ,the relative advantages of work and leisure for children4 ,what of the value of chores to you2 did you do them8 ,describe any forms of children's service in the home which have come under your observation4 #c4 ,what forms of community service can be done by children and by young people8 #d4 ,recall any lessons learned by activity in your early home life4 #e4 ,give in their order1 according to your judgment1 the potencies for religious character in the home4 ,,footnotes3 #ab ,a short list of books on child activity in the home is appended at the end of this chapter2 a fairly complete list1 long enough for any family1 will be found on p4 #aag of ,the ,church ,school1 by ,w4,s4 ,athearn4 #ac ,see ,w4,n4 ,hutchins1 ,graded ,social ,service for the ,sunday ,school4 ,,chapter ,,viii ,,the ,,home ,,as ,a ,,school#ad ,the home is so mighty as a school because1 requiring little time for formal instruction1 it enlists its scholars so largely in informal activities4 ,it trains for life by living2 it trains as an institution1 by a group of activities1 a series of duties1 a set of habits4 ,if the home is to prepare for social living it will be most of all and best of all by its organization and conduct as a social institution4 #a4 ,,an ,,ideal ,,community ,for the purposes of society homes must be social-training centers2 they must be conducted as communities if their members are to be fitted for communal living4 ,no boy is likely to be ready for the responsibilities of free citizenship who has spent his years in a home under an absolute monarchy2 or1 as is today perhaps more frequently the case1 in a condition of unmitigated anarchy4 ,a free society cannot consist of units not free4 ,the problems of parental discipline arise and appear as persistently irritating and perplexing stumbling-blocks in many a home simply because that home is organized altogether out of harmony and relation with the normal life in which it is set4 ,society environing the home gives its members the habits of twentieth-century autonomy1 individual initiative and responsibility1 together with collective living and working1 while the home often seeks to perpetuate thirteenth-century absolutism1 serfdom1 and subjection4 ,in social living outside the home we learn to do the will of all2 in the home we attempt to compel children to do the will of one4 #b4 ,,community ,,interests ,the home organized as a social community will give to every member1 according to his ability1 a share in its guidance and will expect from every member the free contribution of his powers4 ,its rules will be made by the will of all1 and its affairs governed1 not by an executive board composed of the parents1 but by the free participation and choice of all4 ,the young will learn to choose by choosing2 will learn both how to rule and to be ruled by a share in ruling4 ,to be explicit1 suppose a piece of furniture is desired for the home4 ,two plans at least are possible3 first1 the head of the home may go forth and purchase it without consulting anyone1 or after advising with the other head2 or1 second1 before a purchase is made1 the wisdom of such an addition to the furniture may be suggested in the open council of the whole family and the purchase discussed and determined by all4 ,such councils1 usually coming at or after the principal meal1 freely participated in by all1 give even to the youngest a sense of the cost of a home1 of the care that goes into it1 with1 what is more important1 a sense of a share in these cares and costs2 they cultivate habits of prudence1 of consideration of a matter1 of steady judgments1 of deference to the wishes and wisdom of others4 ,of still greater importance is another practical issue of such a plan--that every member of the household has a new sense of proprietorship with deepened responsibility4 ,instead of thinking of any household possession as father's or mother's1 or even mine1 it becomes ours4 ,the parents no longer need to say1 ,children1 do not mar the furniture2 it costs money to replace it4 ,the children know that already1 and they have the same pride in the home possessions and the same desire to preserve them as they have in that which is peculiarly their own4 ,a habit of mind results from such a course so that1 by thinking in terms of common possession of the best things of life1 there is cultivated that respect for the rights of others which is simply right social thinking4 ,the same plan could be pursued in relation to almost every interest of the family--as the planning of the annual vacation and outing1 the holidays1 picnics1 and birthday celebrations1 the church and religious exercises4 ,above all1 in the last mentioned1 this social spirit may be cultivated4 ,the father may cease to be the high priest for his family and become a worshiper along with the other members4 ,the effect will be that his children are more likely to stay as worshipers with him than if they gazed on him as on some lonely elevation1 unrelated to them in his religious exercises4 ,the reading1 the song1 the prayers1 the comment and discussion1 the story-telling1 and all that may make up the regular specific religious activities of the family should be such that all may have a share in them4 ,nothing could be finer1 diviner1 and bring larger helpfulness for social living than the attempt of the least little lisping child to throw herself into the unified family act of prayer1 as when one little tot1 unable to say the ,lord's ,prayer1 united in worship at the time of that act by saying1 as reverently as possible1 ,one1 two1 three1 four1 five1 etc41 up to ten4 ,the ability to count was her latest accomplishment2 counting to ten was bringing the very best thing she then had and1 in the act of family worship1 offering her part to the ,most ,high4 ,a fine sense of worship and a desire to be one with the others in this united1 communal service prompted the participation4 #c4 ,,community ,,service ,community service may be cultivated in the home4 ,here is the ideal social community1 where there are neither parasites nor paupers1 where all give of their best for the best of all4 ,no one doubts that the baby gives its full share of happiness and cheer1 and the aged their offering of consolation and experience2 but the difficulty is supposed to be with the lad and the girl who would rather play than work4 ,usually this is because the habits of co-operation in the life of this community have been too long neglected4 ,the small boy or girl had no share in its work4 ,parents are too busy to think through the matter of finding suitable duties for all4 ,it is so much easier to do things one's self1 even though the child misses the benefits of participation4 ,more frequently the blame lies in the fact that parents desire to shield children from labor4 ,some would have them grow up without knowing what they count as the degradation of toil4 ,but a boy who knows nothing of the chores has missed half the joys of boyhood1 and has a terribly hard lesson ahead of him when he goes out to relate himself to life4 ,no matter what one's station may be1 there is a part to be played1 and one's piece of work to be done4 ,the greatest unkindness we can do our children is to train them to lives that do not play their part4 ,the home is our chance to train a man to harmonious usefulness in his world4 ,not only should the family train to social co-operation and service1 but it should train to efficiency therein4 ,do not let your child's duties become a farce2 let them exact as much of him as the world will exact also2 that is1 efficiency1 accuracy1 thoroughness1 and fidelity4 #d4 ,a ,,school ,,of ,,social ,,ministry ,the family trains lives for social ministry4 ,the unsocial lives come out of unsocial homes4 ,the home that exists for itself alone trains lives that exist only for themselves2 these are the homes that throw the sand of selfishness into the wheels of society2 they ultimately effect social suicide through selfishness4 ,the attitude and atmosphere of the home are of first importance here4 ,as we think1 so will our children act4 ,if the home is to us a place without responsibilities for the neighborhood1 without duties to neighbors1 without social roots1 then it is a school for industrial1 commercial1 and social greed and warfare4 ,as we think in our hearts and talk at our table1 so are we educating those who sit thereat4 ,if we would have our homes really efficient and worthy agencies for education in social living1 the first thing to do is to seek the social atmosphere1 to cultivate all those influences which young lives unconsciously absorb4 ,we all know that character comes through environment in large measure1 and that the mental and spiritual environment is by far the most potent4 ,here is something that affects us more than the finest or poorest furniture and that gives the real zest and flavor to any meal4 ,the choice of our own reading enters here1 not only the matter of reading in sociology1 but of all reading1 as to whether it blinds with class prejudices1 intensifies caste feeling1 or atrophies social sympathy by pandering to selfishness and sensuousness4 ,the control of our own feelings and judgment enters here4 ,do we sedulously cultivate charity for others8 ,do we stifle impatience1 bitterness1 class feeling8 ,do we guide the conversation of visitors and the family group so that antisocial passions are subdued and a spirit of brotherly love and compassion for all is cultivated8 ,here men and women have opportunity to give evidence of a change of heart2 here they need that awakening to social consciousness which is a new birth1 a regeneration into the life of the ,son of ,man who came to give his life4 ,by its active ministry the family is training for social living4 ,when a child carries a bowl of soup to some sick or needy one1 he learns a lesson never to be forgotten4 ,the memories of hours of planning and preparation for some neighborly service--the making of bread1 the packing of a box1 the preserves for the sick--shine out like sunshine spots along childhood's ways2 they direct manhood's steps4 ,we are gradually learning that social duties are not learned save through social deeds2 that even the most carefully prepared and perfectly pedagogical systems of instruction fail1 standing alone4 ,the college student uses the laboratory method in his sociology--though we know that sociology may be as far from social living as the poles are apart4 ,the ,social ,service ,association of the ,young ,men's ,christian ,association has given up attempts to teach social duty in favor of the plan of undertaking specific pieces of social activity4 ,the home must adopt the laboratory method4 ,the important thing is1 not what the father or mother may systematically teach about the social duties of the children1 but what kinds of service1 of ministry and normal activity they may lead the children to2 that is1 in what ways they may all together discharge their functions in society4 #e4 ,,families ,,as ,,community ,,factors ,each family must clearly see its normal relations to its community1 to the social whole2 first1 as an association of social beings having social duties1 obligations1 and privileges2 then1 to see that the ordering of the daily life is the largest single factor in determining the value of the family to the development of the community1 fitting harmoniously into the larger community1 and rendering its share of service4 ,the disorderly home spreads its immoral contagion beyond its walls1 out into the front yard1 out and up and down the street1 and all through the village and city4 ,the ,city ,beautiful cannot come until we have the ,home ,beautiful4 ,training each one to play his part in keeping the house in order1 picking up and setting in place his own tools and playthings1 preventing and removing litter1 scraps1 and elements of disorder and discomfort1 acquiring habits of neatness based on social motives--these things make more for the city of beauty and health than all our lectures on clean cities4 ,no family lives to itself4 ,young people need to see clearly how their homes and their habits in the home impinge on other homes and lives4 ,this is impressed upon us in an accentuated and acute degree in city living4 ,one can hardly imagine a finer discipline of grace than apartment living1 though one may well question whether it is not morally and hygienically flying in the face of the natural order4 ,we may not have for a long time municipal ordinances forbidding boiled dinners1 limburger1 and phonographs in city apartments2 but if1 unfortunately1 we are compelled to live in these modern abominations1 we ought to cultivate a conscience that will not inflict our idiosyncrasies1 either in culinary aromas or in musical taste1 on our neighbors4 ,but there are matters greater than these by which the home trains for social thoughtfulness4 ,no man has a right to grow weeds at home1 because the seeds never stay there4 ,a howling dog1 a disease-breeding sty1 a fly-harboring stable1 must be viewed1 not from the point of the family's convenience1 but from that of others' welfare4 #f4 ,,training ,,for ,,citizenship ,the family has a duty to train children for ,christian citizenship4 ,no other institution can take its place even here4 ,courses of lectures in churches and settlements effect excellent results1 and the study of civics from the moral and ideal viewpoint should be encouraged in the schools2 but the home is the place where1 after all1 citizens are trained and the value or menace of their citizenship determined4 ,if we stop long enough to get a clear understanding of what we mean by citizenship this will be the more evident4 ,citizenship is the condition of full communal1 social living in a democracy4 ,it is not a special department or activity of a man's life which he exercises once in a while1 as at the primary or at the polls or through the political campaign2 it is a permanent condition1 the condition of his social living in a democracy4 ,it seems to be worth while to think of this enough to be quite sure of it1 for we have thought too long of citizenship as a special aspect of one's life or as an occasional duty2 we have called for good citizenship at times of election and have been content with dormant citizenship at other times2 we have said that one was exercising his citizenship when he voted1 and have forgotten that he was exercising it or abusing or neglecting it as he walked the streets1 talked with his neighbors1 or in any way lived the life that has relations to other lives4 ,matters of citizenship are simply matters of social living1 as social living expresses itself through what we call government2 that is1 through communal1 civic1 national administration and regulation4 ,citizenship is social control in action1 not through political activity alone1 but through all that concerns civic and communal life4 ,in view of this it may be worth while to look a little more closely into the relations of family life to this matter of the determination of the character of our citizenship4 ,the family is an agency for religious training in citizenship4 ,the family is the first1 smallest1 and still the most common and potent social group4 ,it is the community in which we nearly all learn communal living4 ,at first it is a child's world1 then comes his city1 and then his nation1 but ere long again the family is his own kingdom4 ,its ideals1 constantly interpreted in action1 determine our ideals4 ,where the father is greedy1 self-centered1 regarding the home as solely for his convenience as his private boarding-house1 where he is a despotic boss1 why should not the son at least tolerate bossism in his city if he does not himself pattern after his father on a wider scale and regard the city or the state as his private boarding-house and the treasury as his private manger8 ,where the mother is a petty parasite1 what wonder the children regard with indifference1 if not even with admiration1 the whole system of civic and social barnacles1 leeches1 and other parasites8 ,the very organization of the home must prepare for civic duty by laying upon all appropriate duties and activities4 ,it ought to be an ideal type of community4 ,but that can never be until we take the training of parents seriously in hand2 until we cease to delegate the pedagogy of courtship1 marriage1 and home-founding to the comic supplements of the ,sunday papers and to the joke columns4 ,parents must themselves be trained for the business of the organization of homes as educational agencies4 ,the life and work of the home ought to train religiously for citizenship1 by causing each to bear his due share of the burdens of all4 ,where the child has been forced to do the indolent parent's share1 to support the slothful father1 he can only look forward to the time when he will be free to support only himself1 and have no other than purely egoistic obligations2 this is an utterly immoral conception1 and one squarely opposed to good citizenship4 ,where the boy or the girl has been trained to regard all toil as dishonorable1 where each has been taught scrupulously to avoid every burden1 they come into social living with habits set against bearing their share and toward making others carry them4 ,the indolent parent makes the tax-dodging citizen1 as the indulgent parent often makes the place-hunting citizen who becomes a tax on the public4 ,the ideals of the family determine the needs of citizens4 ,its conversation1 its reading1 its customs1 set the standard of social needs4 ,where the father laughs at the smartness of the artful dodge in politics1 where the mother sighs after the tinsel and toys that she knows others have bought with corrupt cash1 where the conversation at the meal-table steadily1 though often unconsciously1 lifts up and lauds those who are out after the real thing1 the eager ears about that board drink it in and childish hearts resolve what they will do when they have a chance4 ,where no voice speaks for high things1 where no tide of indignation against wrong sweeps into language1 where the children never feel that the parents have great moral convictions--where no vision is1 the people perish4 ,yet to realize this civic responsibility of the home would be1 in the greater number of instances1 to remedy it4 ,in those other instances where there are no civic ideals1 where the domestic conscience is dead1 there rests upon the state1 upon society1 for its own sake1 the responsibility to train those children so that1 at any rate1 they will not perpetuate homes of this type4 ,we may do very much by the stimulation and direction of parents4 ,men need but to be reminded of their duty to make it a part of their business to train their children in social duty4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,taylor1 ,religion in ,social ,action1 chaps4 vii1 viii4 ,dodd1 ,mead ,co41 #a4be4 ,e4,j4 ,ward1 ,the ,social ,center1 chap4 v4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,lofthouse1 ,ethics in the ,family4 ,hodder ,stoughton1 #a4ej4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what is the special social importance of the family8 #b4 ,how do children acquire their social ideals from the home8 #c4 ,what are the advantages which the home has as a school8 #d4 ,how do homes train for the responsibilities of citizenship8 #e4 ,can you describe any plans of community councils in the home8 #f4 ,how would you promote community service in the family8 #g4 ,what are the dangers of unsocial and selfish lives growing in the home8 ,,footnotes3 #ad ,this chapter is1 with the publisher's kind permission1 taken1 with sundry minor changes1 from the author's pamphlet1 ,the ,home as a ,school for ,social ,living1 published by the ,american ,baptist ,publication ,society in the ,social ,service ,series4 ,,chapter ,,ix ,,the ,,child',s ,,ideal ,,life ,the modern child is likely to miss one of the great character enrichings which his parents had1 in that he is in danger of growing up entirely ignorant of the poetic setting of religious thought in historic and dignified hymns4 ,the great hymns have done more for religious thought and character than all the sermons that have ever been preached4 ,even in the adult of the purely intellectual cast the hymn1 aided by rhythm1 music1 repetition1 and emotion1 is likely to become a more permanent part of the mental substratum than any formal logical presentation of ideas4 ,how much more will this be the case with the child who feels more than he reasons1 who delights in cadence and rhythm1 and who loves a world of imagery6 #a4 ,,song ,,and ,,story ,very early life's ideals are presented in poetic form2 plays1 school-life1 love of country1 friendships1 all take or are given metric expression4 ,so1 for children1 hymns have a perfectly natural place4 ,the child sings as he plays1 sings as he works1 sings in school1 and1 as long as life and memory hold1 these words of song will be his possession2 in declining years1 when eyes are failing and other interests may wane1 fragments of childhood's songs and youth's poems will sing themselves over in his memory2 while in the years between how often will some stanza or line spring into the focus of thought just at the moment when it can give brave and helpful direction6 ,those years of facile memorization should be like the ant's summer1 a period of steady storing in mind of the world's treasures of thought4 ,no man ever had too many good and beautiful thoughts in his memory4 ,few have failed to recall with gratitude some apparently long-forgotten word of cheer1 light1 and inspiration stored in childhood4 ,the special virtue of the hymn1 among all poetic forms of great thoughts1 is that memory is strengthened by the music and the thought further idealized by it1 while frequent repetition fixes it the more firmly and repetition in congregational song adds the high value of emotional association4 ,but what kinds of memory treasures are being given to the modern child in the realm of religion8 ,in by far the greater number of instances in the ,united ,states neither church nor ,sunday school nor home brings to him any knowledge of the great hymns of religion4#ae ,in the churches that use these hymns the child is frequently not in the ,sunday services2 he is in the children's service or the school1 while in the majority of churches a weak-minded endeavor for amusement has substituted meaningless rag-time trivialities for rich and dignified hymns4 ,perhaps the custom of encouraging congregations to jig1 dance1 cavort1 or drone through the frivolities of popular gospel songs is only a passing craze1 but it is a most unfortunate one2 it tends to divorce worship and thought1 to make worship a matter of purely superficial emotions1 and to form the habit of expressing religion1 the highest experience of life1 in language1 often irreverent and almost always trivial1 slangy1 or ridiculous4 ,it is an insult to the intelligence of children to ask them to sing ,we're pilgrims o'er the sands of time1 ,we have not long to stay1 ,the lifeboat soon is coming1 ,to carry the pilgrims away4 ,it is the duty of parents to know what their children are learning in the ,sunday school4 ,not only are they often missing the opportunity to lay up the treasure of elevating1 inspiring thoughts2 they are acquiring crude1 mistaken1 misleading theological concepts in the hideous1 revolting figures of evangelistic songs2 they are storing their minds with atrocities in ,english and in figures of speech2 they are acquiring the habits of sentimentality in religion and inhibiting the finer1 higher feelings4 ,they are blunting their higher feelings by repeating incongruous and nauseating figures of being washed in blood1 or they are carelessly singing sentiments they do not understand4 ,what can the family do about this8 ,it ought to assert its rights in the church4 ,it ought to protest and rebel against the debauching of mind and the degrading of religion 7all for the sake of selling trashy books at #be per hundred74 ,a parent would do better to keep his child from church and ,sunday school than to permit his mind to be filled with the sanguinary pictures of ,god1 the mediaeval theology of the modern songbook1 and its offenses against truth in thought and form4 ,but the family can work positively and more effectively by providing good hymns for children in the home4 #b4 ,,training ,,in ,,song ,almost without exception all children will sing if encouraged early in life4 ,in the family group one has only to start a familiar song and soon all will be singing4 ,it is just as natural to sing ,abide with ,me when the family sits together in the evening as it is to start ,my ,alabama ,choo-choo4 ,children like the swing of ,onward1 ,christian ,soldiers just as much as in the northern states they like ,marching through ,georgia4 ,if they do not know the hymns the home is the best of all places in which to learn them4 ,a large section of real family life is missing in families that do not sing together4 ,a home without song lacks one of the strongest bonds of family unity1 and the after-years will be deprived of a memory dear indeed to many others4 ,days often come when the wheels of family life seem to develop friction1 when little rifts seem to throw the members far apart1 but the evening song brings them together4 ,the unity of action1 of feeling1 the development of emotions above the day's irritation and strife1 all help to new joys in family living4 ,we may well think of the fine songs and the great hymns together4 ,there is no fixed wall between ,mine ,eyes ,have ,seen the ,glory1 and ,the ,son of ,god ,goes ,forth1 nor between ,my ,old ,kentucky ,home and ,jerusalem the ,golden4 ,the modern home has the musical instruments to lead in song--though they are not always essential--and lacks only the planning and forethought to develop the joys of song4 ,it must provide the thought that applies the simpler forms of musical expression to the sweetening and enriching of life4 ,let no one say1 ,my family is not musical4 ,that simply means that your family does not take time for music and song4 ,build on the training in patriotic and folk-songs given in the schools2 sing these same songs over in the home and then associate with the best of them the best of the hymns4 ,cultivate the habit of binding the whole realm of feeling in music together1 the hymns and the songs1 to make religion mean beauty and devotion and to make the finer sentiments of life truly religious4 ,this costs time and thought4 ,someone must plan that the books of songs and hymns are provided1 that the opportunity is given1 and that wise1 unobtrusive leadership is there4 ,have ready several copies of the book containing the best hymns4 ,think out your plan of procedure in advance1 selecting the songs1 or at least the first one4 ,then at the right time simply begin to play that song and you will scarcely need to invite the children to sing with you4 ,should anyone doubt whether children will enjoy singing good hymns1 he may purchase a few records for the phonograph1 for example1 ,o ,come ,all ,ye ,faithful1 ,hark the ,herald ,angels ,sing1 ,o ,zion ,haste1 ,holy1 ,holy1 ,holy1 ,abide with ,me4 ,these will suit those of from ten upward2 younger children will enjoy ,can a ,little ,child ,like ,me1 ,brightly ,gleams ,our ,banner1 ,jesus ,loves ,me4 ,i ,think ,when ,i ,read ,that ,sweet ,story1 and ,for the ,beauty of the ,earth1 though they will join gladly in the other hymns4 ,or1 instead of using the phonograph1 sit down quietly at the piano and play these hymns1 with just enough emphasis for the children to catch the rhythm1 and they will soon be standing at the piano singing with you4#af #c4 ,,play ,,activity ,the child is a playing animal4 ,play is not an invention of the devil1 designed to plague parents and to lead children to waste their time4 ,it is nature's best method of education1 for when a child plays he is simply reaching forward in his activities to the realization of his ideals4 ,play is idealized experiences4 ,there is always a significance of wider and maturer experience in children's play4 ,therefore the family must find space and time and adaptation of organization to the child's need of spontaneous1 free activity in play4 ,the special religious value of play lies in the fact that the child in his games is experimenting with life1 learning its lessons2 especially is he learning the art of living with other lives4 ,it is our religious duty to see to it that our children become used to living in society by playing in social groups4 ,scarcely anyone is more to be pitied than the lonely child standing in the corner of the playground1 able only to watch the games1 because parental prohibition has already made him a solitary and unsocial creature4 ,the educational potencies of play are so great that we dare not leave its activities to chance4 ,parents must study the power of play1 its psychological and educational values1 in order to direct its activity to the highest good4 ,the adequate care of a child's play-life will involve1 in addition to the trained intelligence of the parents1 provision for space in the house and also outdoors1 willingness to subordinate our peace and our pleasure to the child's play at times1 a reasonable though not necessarily expensive provision of play materials1 attention to the character of the plays and playmates4 ,the home will not lose its harmony and beauty if it is filled with playing children4 ,its function has to do with their development rather than with the preservation of chairs4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,h4,f4 ,cope1 ,hymns ,you ,ought to ,know1 ,introduction4 ,revell1 #a4ej4 ,w4,f4 ,pratt1 ,musical ,ministries4 ,revell1 #a4jj4 ,h4,w4 ,hulbert1 ,the ,church and ,her ,children1 chap4 x4 ,revell1 #a4jj4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,for a list of great hymns see ,hymns ,you ,ought to ,know1 edited by ,henry ,f4 ,cope1 and mentioned above4 ,it contains one hundred standard hymns with a brief account of each hymn and of each author4 ,e4,d4 ,eaton1 ,hymns for ,youth1 ,religious ,education1 ,december1 #aiab1 ,,vii1 #eji4 ,see report of the ,commission on ,worship in the ,sunday ,school1 in ,religious ,education1 ,october1 #aiad4 ,read especially the chapter on this subject in ,h4,h4 ,hartshorne1 ,worship in the ,sunday ,school4 ,columbia ,university1 #a4be4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what special advantages do songs and hymns have in their pedagogical power8 #b4 ,what hymns do you remember from childhood8 ,in what way are these hymns valuable to you8 #c4 ,what changes would you like to see in the hymns the children learn today8 #d4 ,what difficulties do you find in training children to sing in the home8 #e4 ,is it worth while to teach children to play8 ,what games have special educational value8 ,what games have religious significance or value8 ,give reasons for your opinions4 ,,footnotes3 #ae ,one of the best collections of suitable religious songs is ,worship and ,song4 ,pilgrim ,press1 #j4dj4 #af ,an excellent plan is worked out in ,the ,children's ,hour of ,story and ,song by ,moffat and ,hidden1 ,unitarian ,sunday ,school ,society1 in which children's stories are given and following them suitable songs and hymns with the music for each4 ,,chapter ,x ,,stories ,,and ,,reading ,if we would teach religion to our children we must adopt the method of ,jesus2 that of telling stories4 ,the story has the advantage1 first1 of its natural interest1 and1 then1 of the indirect manner of its presentation of the truth1 together with the fact that that truth is embodied in a statement of life and experience4 ,besides1 story-telling to any person of active interests is one of the easiest and most stimulating methods of teaching4 #a4 ,,story-,,telling ,so much has already been written on the art of telling stories that only a few suggestions are needed here4 ,first1 understand why you tell the story4 ,normally a double motive enters in1 namely1 the conveyance of truth in life1 at the same time affording real pleasure to the listeners4 ,either motive alone will be inadequate4 ,you cannot convey the truth without the desire to give pleasure2 you cannot make the pleasure worth while without the truth4 ,but this is the place to insist that the truth which you desire to convey must find its way to the conviction of the child through the story and not through any moral or preface or particular statement which you may make4 ,the moral or lesson must be clear to you but carefully held in reserve to direct the matter and manner of the story4 ,secondly1 be prepared to pay the price of this most effective method of instruction4 ,it will cost the reservation of a certain amount of time both for acquiring the story and for relating it4 ,it will require careful thought and planning1 especially to be sure that the story is told in sympathy with the child's world4 ,people who are too busy to tell their children stories are1 perhaps fortunately1 coming to realize that they are too busy to have children4 ,if it looks like a waste of time to turn off the lights and sit by the firelight for from twenty to thirty minutes1 we shall need to revise our estimates of the value of child-character4 ,nor must we shrink from the investment of time in preparation for the narration of the story2 if it is worth telling1 it is worth telling well4 ,thirdly1 keep a record of sources of stories4 ,this may be preserved in a notebook4 ,one parent used a card-index for this purpose4 ,there are a few books published containing good collections4#ag ,you will find most valuable your own little book in which you have noted down the fugitive stories and short selections which are to be found in general literature4#ah ,fourthly1 do not tell a story so as to close the child's interest in the narrative4 ,stories ought to lead to inquiry and further reading in the book or other source from which they have been drawn2 indeed1 story-telling is one excellent method of quickening an interest in reading4 ,fifthly1 allow the children to retell the stories to one another4 ,often the whole family will be entertained and helped by the explanation which a small child will give of the story he has learned by hearing it repeated a few times from his mother's lips4 ,sixthly1 telling ,bible stories to children in the quiet hour is the best of all methods to stimulate their interest in the ,bible itself4 ,it is much better to tell the story in your own language than to read it either in the ,bible or in a paraphrase4 ,for one reason1 you will never tell it twice the same way1 and children will watch with interest changes in the narration4 ,as soon as they can read1 secure some of the simple ,bible narratives and put these in their hands4#ai #b4 ,,books ,,and ,,reading ,a home without books is like a house with only one window2 it can look out in only one direction1 in that of the present4 ,it knows only a limited world2 its children have a short measure of the joy of life1 they can know here only those whom they see today1 their friends must be few1 their world narrow and confined4 ,if the books are not in your home the children will find them elsewhere4 ,unless the school kills the taste for reading1 as it sometimes does1 the young folks will open ways somehow into the ideal realm of books4 ,as they grow up1 the book takes the place of the story4 ,the printed page is the child's key to all routes of travel1 routes that lead to other times and lands1 routes that lead to other people and into their hearts and minds4 ,the child sees conduct and feels it as it is in action in lives before him1 but he begins to discriminate and to analyze it only through reading2 souls are revealed where the purpose of the writer is that the reader may see the springs of action in the character portrayed4 ,fiction1 biography1 travel1 and adventure soon pass from the merely exterior happenings to the discovery of meanings in character4 #c4 ,,dangers ,,of ,,reading ,since the book needs only one for its enjoyment1 while the story requires two1 there is less control over reading4 ,there is only one way to be sure that children are not devouring vicious books and that is to make sure that they have an ample supply of healthful1 helpful ones4 ,this is especially necessary in a day that caters to sloth in reading4 ,the tendency is for reading to take the facile decline from book to cheap magazine1 from magazine to newspaper1 and from the newspaper to skimming the headlines and the funnies4 ,the cheaper papers appeal to the lowest intelligence and strike at the line of least moral and mental resistance4 ,reading enriches the life but little and may impoverish it greatly unless there is developed the habit of drawing on the world's great treasures of thought and feeling4 ,open windows in your children's souls by giving them books2 keep them open by encouraging the reading habit4 ,great souls wait for them1 willing to converse and become their friends and teachers if they will but take down these books from the shelves and open them with an eager mind4 #d4 ,,developing ,,good ,,taste ,what can be done to quicken a love of good reading in children8 ,recognize that not all children develop this appetite at the same age1 that girls read more than boys1 that boys usually have a period of decline in reading interest from seventeen to twenty-one or even later4 ,but everything really depends on whether we ourselves love good books and keep them on hand4 ,one of the life-centers of a family should be the bookshelf1 while the picture of the evening lamp and the reading group will constitute one of its best memories4 ,where books are at hand and where they are used daily1 the children need little urging to read4 ,now this does not mean that yards of choice editions make a book-loving family4 ,there is a difference between bindings and books4 ,it means books known and loved1 familiar friends for daily converse1 books on handy shelves and fit to be used as common food4 ,do you know what your children read8 ,do you watch as carefully the food of mind and spirit as you do that of the body8 ,do you show an interest in the books they plan to draw from the public library8 ,can you guide them intelligently when they ask for suggestions of interesting books8 ,do you know the healthful1 suitable ones8 #e4 ,,promotion ,,of ,,the ,,reading ,,interest ,the ,sunday school might aid greatly in promoting the habit of selecting and reading good books4 ,children often come home from day school clamoring for some book which the teacher has recommended as interesting and valuable4 ,the ,sunday-school teacher's recommendation would also carry weight4 ,in every church1 whether there exists a ,sunday-school library or not1 there ought to be a library or book committee which would watch for the right reading for the different grades and would cause the titles of good books to be placed on a bulletin board4 ,further1 such a committee might very well place a copy of the book selected in the teacher's hand in order that the teacher might call the attention of the class directly to it4 ,of course the range of selection should be as wide as the world of books and should include fiction1 romance1 song1 and story4#bj ,parents could do the same sort of thing4 ,why not talk up the best books we remember8 ,as to those old-time books1 we need to realize that tastes change4 ,perhaps they owed much of their interest to their vivid descriptions of contemporary life4 ,therefore we must commend the new books1 those that belong to the children's own days1 too4 ,this can be done1 provided we really know the books1 not by saying1 ,we should like you to read ,sandford and ,merton1 but rather1 ,there is a capital story in ,captains ,courageous2 have any of you read it8 ,leave the matter there1 or1 at most1 go only far enough to stimulate interest4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,st4 ,john1 ,stories and ,story ,telling1 chaps4 i-v4 ,eaton ,mains1 #j4ej4 ,forbush1 ,the ,coming ,generation1 chap4 viii4 ,appleton1 #a4ej ,winchester1 ,good and ,bad ,books in the ,home1 in ,the ,bible in ,practical ,life1 p4 #ch4 ,religious ,education ,association1 #b4ej4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,partridge1 ,story ,telling in ,school and ,home4 ,sturgis ,walton1 #a4be4 ,h4,w4 ,mabie1 ,books and ,culture4 ,dodd1 ,mead ,co41 #a4be4 ,,iii4 ,methods and ,materials ,,on ,,story-,,telling ,e4,p4 ,st4 ,john1 ,stories and ,story ,telling4 ,eaton ,mains1 #j4ej4 ,wyche1 ,some ,great ,stories and ,how to ,tell ,them4 ,newson ,co41 #a4jj4 ,l4,s4 ,houghton1 ,telling ,bible ,stories4 ,scribner1 #a4be4 ,bryant1 ,how to ,tell ,stories for ,children4 ,houghton ,mifflin ,co41 #a4jj4 ,e4,m4 and ,g4,e4 ,partridge1 ,story ,telling in ,school and ,home4 ,sturgis ,walton1 #a4be4 ,,directing ,,children',s ,,reading ,,in ,,the ,,home ,macy1 ,a ,children's ,guide to ,reading4 ,baker ,taylor ,co41 #a4be4 ,field1 ,finger ,posts to ,children's ,reading4 ,mc,clurg1 #a4jj4 ,arnold1 ,a ,mother's ,list of ,books for ,children4 ,mc,clurg1 #a4jj4 ,for a short practical list see the different lists classified under ,sunday-,school ,departments in ,w4,s4 ,athearn1 ,the ,church ,school1 particularly pp4 #ed1 #hc1 #aah1 #afi4 ,pilgrim ,press1 #a4jj4 ,,iv4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,do you remember any stories which especially impressed you as a child8 ,what were their qualities8 ,what were the qualities of their narration8 #b4 ,what are your difficulties in story-telling to children8 #c4 ,is the habit of reading books passing among children8 ,if so1 what are the reasons8 #d4 ,what responsibility has the public library toward the child's selection of books8 toward promoting book reading8 #e4 ,how many families co-operate with the library8 #f4 ,how might the church co-operate8 #g4 ,does the reading of newspapers by children affect their general habits of reading8 ,in what ways8 #h4 ,what personal difference is there1 if any1 between the effect of a borrowed book and of one the child owns8 ,,footnotes3 #ag ,laura ,e4 ,cragin1 ,kindergarten ,bible ,stories4 ,fifty-six of the ,old ,testament stories4 ,there is also a companion volume of ,new ,testament stories4 ,james ,baldwin1 ,old ,stories of the ,east4 ,fresh and interesting versions of the familiar ,old ,testament stories4 ,kate ,douglas ,wiggin1 ,the ,story ,hour4 ,good stories and a suggestive introduction on story-telling4 ,half a ,hundred ,stories for the ,little ,people1 by various authors4 #ah ,a ,list of ,good ,stories to ,tell to ,children under ,twelve ,years of ,age1 ,carnegie ,library of ,pittsburgh1 #j4je4 ,there are references to books in which the stories may be found1 including #be ,bible stories1 #af fables1 #ad myths1 #ad ,christmas stories1 #g ,thanksgiving stories1 etc4 #ai ,such as ,o',shea1 ,old ,world ,wonder ,stories2 ,george ,hodges1 ,the ,garden of ,eden2 ,cragin1 ,old ,testament ,stories2 ,mary ,stewart1 ,tell ,me a ,true ,story4 #bj ,the ,h4,w4 ,wilson ,co41 ,white ,plains1 ,new ,york1 publishes a list of ,children's ,books for ,sunday-,school ,libraries4 ,,chapter ,,xi ,,the ,,use ,,of ,,the ,,bible ,,in ,,the ,,home ,if we keep clearly in mind the aim of religious education in the family as that of the development of the lives of religious persons1 the place and value of the ,bible will be evident4 ,it will be used as a means of developing and directing lives4 ,this will be quite different from a perfunctory use because our fathers used it or a use under the compulsion of the fear lest some strange evil should befall us1 some visitation of an offended deity4 #a4 ,,the ,,child',s ,,need ,children need the ,bible as a part of their social heritage4 ,just as they get a larger life1 inspired and stimulated by the realization of their connection with the past of their family and their country1 so the ,bible brings them into connection with the religious history of the race4 ,general history brings heroic forefathers into the stream of consciousness2 we feel the push of their lives4 ,so the ,bible reveals the stream farther back and makes us part of the process of life in unity with great characters and great movements4 ,the child has a right to the ,bible as his literary heritage4 ,here in the ,bible is the precipitation of the ideals of a people unique in the place which religion held in their lives4 ,here is a literature which is the source of much of the best in the language and reading of the child's life4 ,its phrases are beautiful and convenient embodiments of religious ideals2 they will have a steadily developing richness of meaning as life opens out to the child4#ba #b4 ,,difficulties ,the difficulties in the way of the use of the ,bible in the home are3 the crowded programs1 or a lack of time due to the absence of any program for the days2 a feeling of unnaturalness in the special reading of this book2 the decay of the custom of reading aloud2 parental ignorance of the ,bible and especially of its beauties for the young2 and the excessive amount of task-reading frequently required by the schools4 ,the ,sunday school also sometimes offends in this respect by overemphasis on academic tasks for home work4 #c4 ,,methods ,first1 let parents use the ,bible themselves4 ,use the books as you wish children to use them4 ,this will be the longest step you can take toward the solution of the problem4 ,secondly1 use the ,bible naturally4 ,when children have an aversion to the ,bible it is due usually to two causes3 the peculiar place and use of the book which makes it a thing apart from life1 and often an object of dread2 and the practice of using it as a task-book1 to be opened only in order to prepare ,sunday-school lessons4 ,just as it takes years to overcome the aversion set up against ,english literature by its analytical study in the schools1 so that the child becomes a man before he voluntarily reads ,dickens1 ,thackeray1 the poets1 and essayists1 in the same manner we have succeeded in making the ,bible undesirable to youth4 ,if you read passages aloud1 use the tone of voice which would be appropriate if this was a new book not bound in leather4 ,read it for pleasure as one would read a literary masterpiece--not because opinion might frown on you if you had not read the classic4 ,does someone object that that would be to degrade the ,bible to the level of secular writings8 ,you cannot degrade a literature2 it makes its own level and our labels do not affect it4 ,certain it is that a pious tone of voice will not protect the ,bible from the secular level4 ,but to use it unnaturally will degrade it in the opinion of those who hear us4 ,thirdly1 make its use a pleasure4 ,all children enjoy story-telling and listening to reading4 ,many parents practice the children's hour1 some period in the day when they will1 alone with the children1 read and talk with them4 ,let the ,bible story be the reward of a good day1 something promised as an incentive to good behavior4 ,children delight1 not alone in the story itself1 but in rhythmic passages1 in the poetic flights of ,isaiah and the beautiful imagery of the ,psalms4 ,to them it is natural and pleasant to think of the hills that skipped and the stars that sang and the trees that gave forth praise4 ,they know the song of nature and are happy to find it put into words4 ,fourthly1 use the ,bible as a book of life4 ,how many times a day do questions of conduct arise in the family6 ,how often do children ask what is right1 and freely discuss the question6 ,here is a book rich in precept and example on at least many of the questions4 ,there are pictures of actual lives meeting real temptations2 there are the epigrammatic precepts of ,proverbs and of the teachings of ,jesus4 ,call attention to them1 not as settling the question out of hand1 but as testimony to the point4 ,accustom children to getting the light of the ,bible on their lives1 remembering that this book is a light and not a fence nor a code of laws4 ,fifthly1 use the ,bible in worship4 ,this does not conflict with the plea for its use naturally1 for worship should be as natural as any of the social pleasures of the family4 ,here select those passages for reading which count most for the spirit of worship4 ,it is a good plan to read a short passage1 suitable for memorizing1 so frequently that children learn it and are able to repeat it in concert4 ,be sure that all the passages read or recited are short4 ,it will often be wise to preface the reading with a brief account of its original circumstances1 so that all may hear the words as the actual utterances of a real man living in real life4 ,sixthly1 provide material which helps to make the ,bible interesting1 and which helps children to see its pictures through the eyes of geography and history4#bb ,seventhly1 make the use of the ,bible possible at all times for all4 ,see that as soon as the child can read he has his own ,bible1 that it is in large1 readable type1 as much like any other book as possible4 ,it is no evidence of grace to ruin the eyes over diamond-text ,bibles4 ,if possible1 also provide separate books of the ,bible1 in modern literary form and some in the idiom of our day4#bc #d4 ,,doubtful ,,methods ,it is doubtful whether good comes from the use of the ,bible as a riddle-book1 nor do the ,bible games tend to develop a natural appreciation of the book4 ,there is no new light but rather a confusing shadow thrown on the character of ,joseph by the foolish conundrum concerning ,pharaoh making a ruler out of him4 ,sending a child to the ,bible to discover the shortest verse1 the longest1 the middle one1 etc41 trains him to regard it as an odd kind of book1 to think of it as a dictionary1 and to use it less4 ,we assume too readily that a knowledge of the separate details of biblical information1 such as the date of the ,flood1 the age of ,methuselah1 the names of the twelve tribes1 the twelve apostles1 the books of the two ,testaments1 is the desired end4 ,but one might know all these things and many more and be not one whit the better4 ,for the child surely the desirable end is that he may feel deeply the attractiveness of the character of ,joseph or of ,jesus1 may say within himself1 ,what a fine man2 ,i want to be like him4 ,be sure the persons are real1 that you see them living their lives in their times1 just as you live your life now4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,t4,g4 ,soares1 ,making the ,bible ,real to ,boys1 in ,boy ,training1 pp4 #aag-dj4 ,association ,press1 #j4ge4 ,w4,t4 ,lhamon1 ,bible in the ,home1 ,religious ,education1 ,december1 #aiab1 p4 #dhf4 ,g4 ,hodges1 ,training of ,children in ,religion1 chap4 x4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,the ,bible in ,practical ,life4 ,religious ,education ,association4 ,numerous references to the use of the ,bible in the home in this volume4 ,patterson ,dubois1 ,the ,natural ,way1 sec4 iv4 ,revell1 #a4be4 ,,iii4 ,methods and ,materials ,passages of ,bible for ,memorization1 ,religious ,education1 ,august1 #aijf4 ,louise ,s4 ,houghton1 ,telling ,bible ,stories4 ,scribner1 #a4be4 ,johnson1 ,the ,narrative ,bible4 ,baker ,taylor ,co41 #a4ej4 ,hall and ,wood1 ,the ,bible ,story1 #e vols4 ,king1 #b4jj by subscription4 ,courtney1 ,the ,literary ,man's ,bible4 ,crowell1 #a4be4 ,the above are but a few of the many collections of biblical material4 ,,iv4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what are the conditions which seem to make the reading of the ,bible different from other reading8 ,is there a sense of unreality about it as a book8 ,what are the causes8 #b4 ,try the experiment of reading the story of ,joseph at one sitting4 ,try to retell this to children4 #c4 ,what biblical material stands out in your memory of childhood8 ,in what degree is this due to the art of the story-teller or the reader8 to the character of the material8 ,,footnotes3 #ba ,see ,m4,j4,c4 ,foster1 ,the ,mother the ,child's ,first ,bible ,teacher4 #bb ,mackie1 ,bible ,manners and ,customs4 ,chamberlin1 ,introduction to the ,bible for ,teachers of ,children4 ,worcester1 ,on ,holy ,ground1 #b vols4 #bc ,for example1 ,moulton1 ,modern ,reader's ,bible4 ,the new ,jewish renderings of ,old ,testament books are good1 especially the ,psalms4 ,,chapter ,,xii ,,family ,,worship ,family worship has declined until1 at least in the ,united ,states1 the percentage of families practicing daily worship in the home is so small as to be negligible4 ,if this meant that a general institution of religion had passed out of existence the fact would be highly significant4 ,but it is well to remember that family worship has never been a general institution4 ,we have generalized the picture of the ,cotter's ,saturday ,night so eloquently drawn by ,burns2 it has been applied to every night and to every fireside4 ,daily family worship was observed in practically all the ,puritan homes of ,new ,england2 but there is no evidence for it as a uniform custom1 either in other parts of this country or in other parts of the world1 save perhaps in sections of ,scotland4 ,true1 there were many families which observed the custom2 but there were also many families of church members and doubtless of truly religious people in which family worship as a regular institution was unknown4 ,this has been especially true in the type of family life which has developed under modern social conditions4 ,further1 even so simple an exercise as grace at meals has not always been a general custom4 #a4 ,,past ,,customs ,but the fact today is that family worship is so rare as to be counted phenomenal wherever found4 ,the instances1 though not general1 were common a generation ago4 ,many are living to whom family worship afforded the largest part of their conscious and formal religious education4 ,following the morning meal1 or1 occasionally1 the evening meal1 the family waited while the father1 or the mother in his absence1 read a portion of the ,scriptures and offered prayer4 ,in other families the act of worship would be the closing one of the day1 perhaps participated in by the older members only1 the younger children having repeated their prayers at bedside on retiring4 ,a thousand happy and sacred associations gather about the memories of these occasions3 the sense of reverence1 the feeling that the home was a sacred place1 the impression of noble words and elevating thoughts1 the reflex influence of the prayer that committed all to the keeping and guidance of ,god4#bd #b4 ,,why ,,family ,,worship8 ,parents need to see the values in family worship4 ,we have been insisting on the primary importance of the religious interpretation of the family as an institution1 on the power of the religious motive1 and the atmosphere of religion4 ,but wherever there is a truly religious motive and a permanent religious atmosphere these will find definite expression in acts easily recognized as religious4 ,love is the motive and atmosphere of the true home1 but love blossoms into words and bears fruit in a thousand deeds4 ,the life of love dies without reality in act4 ,ideals are precipitated in expressive acts4 ,so is it with religion in the home2 it must not only be real in its sincerity1 it must be realized1 must pass over into conduct and action1 as suggested above in chaps4 vii and viii4 ,and it must do this in ways so sharply defined and readily recognized as to leave no doubt as to their meaning4 ,true1 all acts may be religious and thus full of worship--this is most important of all--but worship expressly unites all such acts in a spirit of loyalty and aspiration4 ,worship is a necessity for the sake of the ideal unity of the family life4 ,just as the individual must not only feel the religious emotion but must also do the thing called for1 so must this united personality of the family give expression to its faith and aspiration1 its motives and emotions1 in such a manner that1 acting as a social unit1 all can together put the inner life into the outer form4 ,the social value of family worship is the strongest reason for its maintenance4 ,it is the united act of the family group1 the one in which group consciousness is expressly directed to the highest possible aims4 ,every period of worship brings the family into unity at an ideal level4 ,the expression of religion in definite forms is necessary for children1 too1 as furnishing a means by which they can manifest their feeling of the higher meaning of family life4 ,the reality of that feeling is stimulated in the daily1 common life of the right family2 the hour of worship is one out of many definite forms of its concrete expression4 ,it is the form which gathers up the totality of feeling and aspiration into an act of worship and praise toward ,god1 the ,father of all families4 ,it is evident there cannot be true worship in the family that is irreligious in its essential qualities1 in its character1 in its ideals and atmosphere4 #c4 ,,advantages ,the period of worship is a necessity in interpreting to all the spirit and meaning of a religious family4 ,it objectifies the inner life4 ,it makes definite1 tangible1 and easily remembered the general impressions of religion4 ,it precipitates the atmosphere of religion into definiteness4 ,in the chemical laboratory of a university there is usually a decided atmosphere of chemistry1 but no one expects to become a chemical engineer by absorbing that atmosphere1 nor even to attain a simple working knowledge by merely general impressions4 ,definiteness aids in gathering up our knowledge1 our impressions4 ,the reading of the ,bible in the home will give1 when the passages are wisely chosen1 forms of language into which the often chaotic but nevertheless valuable and potential emotions of youth fall as into a beautiful mold2 they become remembered forms of beauty thereafter4 ,family worship furnishes opportunity for direct religious instruction4 ,when the home life has its regular institution1 as regular as meals and play1 the formality1 the apparent abnormality of conversation about religion1 is absent4 ,children expect and look forward to the period when the family will lay other things aside to think on the eternal values4 ,their questions in the breathing-space that always ought to follow worship become perfectly natural and sincere4 ,family worship lifts the whole level of family life4 ,ideally conceived1 it simply means the family unity consciously coming into its highest place4 ,children may not understand all the reading nor enter into the motives for all parts of the petition1 but they do feel that this moment is the one in which the family enters a holy place4 ,they feel that ,god is real and that their family life is a part of his whole care and of his life4 ,one short period of natural reverence sends light and calm all through the day4 ,where the home is the place where true prayer is offered1 the family is the group which meets in an act of worship2 here and into this group there cannot easily enter strife1 bickerings1 or baseness4 ,one short period1 five minutes or even less1 of quietness1 of united turning toward the eternal1 gives tone to the day and finer atmosphere to the home4 ,what our community life might be like without the churches1 faulty or incompetent as we may know some of them to be1 what that life would lose and miss without them is precisely1 and perhaps in larger degree1 what the family life misses without its own institution of regular devotion and worship4 #d4 ,,the ,,difficulties ,we can always afford to do that which is most worth while doing2 our essential difficulty is to shake off the delusion of the lesser values1 the lower prizes1 to realize that1 of all the good of life1 the characters of our children1 the gain we can all make in the eternal values of the spirit1 in love and joy and truth and goodness1 is the gain most worth while4 ,we tend to set the making of a living before the making of lives4 ,we need to see the development of the powers of personality1 the riches of character1 as the ultimate1 dominant purpose of all being4 ,once grasp that1 and hold to it1 and we shall not allow lesser considerations1 such as the pressure of business1 the desire for gain1 for ease1 for pleasure1 for social life1 to come before this first and highest good2 we shall make time for definite conscious religion in the life of the family4#be #e4 ,,types ,,of ,,worship ,there are three simple forms which worship takes in the family3 first1 grace offered at the meals2 secondly1 the prayers of children on retiring and1 occasionally1 on rising2 thirdly1 the daily gathering of the family for an act of the spirit4 ,the statement of the three forms reads so as to give them a formal character1 but the most important point to remember is that wherever they are true acts of worship they are formal only in that they occur at definite1 determined times and places4 ,the acts have no merit in themselves4 ,merely to institute their observance will not secure religious feeling and life in the home4 ,these three observances have arisen because at these times there is the best and most natural opportunity for the expression of aspiration1 desire1 and feeling4 #f4 ,,methods ,,of ,,family ,,worship #a4 ,grace at meals4--,shall we say grace at meals8 ,to assent because it is the custom1 or because it was so done in our childhood's home1 may make an irreligious mockery of the act4 ,perhaps1 too1 there are some who even hesitate to omit the grace from an unspoken fear that the food might harm them without it4 ,all have heard grace so muttered1 or hurriedly and carelessly spoken1 void of all feeling and thought1 that the act was almost unconscious1 a species of vain repetition4 ,there are two outstanding aspects of the asking of a blessing--the desire to express gratitude for the common benefits of life1 and the expression of a wish1 with the recognition of its realization1 that at each meal the family group might include the ,unseen ,guest1 the ,infinite ,spirit of ,god4 ,that wish lifts the meal above the dull level of satisfying appetites4 ,just as1 in good society1 we seek to make the meal much more than an eating of food1 a feast of reason and a flow of soul1 so does this act make each meal a social occasion lifted toward the spiritual4 ,the one thought at the beginning1 the thought of the reality of the presence of ,god1 and of the nearness of the divine to us in our daily pleasures1 gives a new level to all our thinking4 ,how shall we say grace1 or ask a blessing8 ,first1 with simplicity and sincerity4 ,avoid long1 elaborate1 ornate phrases4 ,it is better to err in rhetoric than in feeling and reality4 ,the sonorous grace may soon become stilted and offensive4 ,it is better to say in your own words just what you mean1 for that will help all1 even to the youngest1 to mean what they say with you4 ,vary the form of petition4 ,sometimes let it be the silent grace of the ,quakers2 sometimes children will enjoy singing one of the old four-line stanzas1 as ,be present at our table1 ,lord1 ,be here and everywhere adored2 ,these mercies bless and grant that we ,may feast in ,paradise with thee4 ,one might use the first three of the following lines for breakfast and the last three at another meal3 ,for the new morning with its light1 ,for rest and shelter of the night1 ,we thank the heavenly ,father4 ,for rest and food1 for love and friends1 ,for everything his goodness sends1 ,we thank the heavenly ,father4#bf or ,when early in the morning the birds lift up their songs1 ,we bring our praise to ,jesus to whom all praise belongs4 ,one especially needs to guard against the purely dietetic grace1 the one that only asks that the deity will aid digestion1 as that form so often heard1 ,bless these mercies to our use4#bg ,should we say grace on all occasions of meals8 ,what shall we do at the social dinner in the home8 ,the answer depends on the purpose of the grace4 ,is it not that in our own group we may have the consciousness of the presence of ,god8 ,when the meal is that of our own group with a friend or two1 we bring the friends into the group and the act of family worship is maintained4 ,usually this is the case4 ,so it will be when the group is entirely at one in this desire3 the asking of grace will be perfectly natural4 ,but when the group is a large one1 when the sense of family unity is lost1 or when the observance would seem unnatural1 it is better to omit it4 ,grace in large gatherings often seems an uncovering of the sacred aspects of the home life4 #b4 ,bedtime prayers4--,what of children's bedtime prayers8 ,many can remember them4 ,to many the most natural1 helpful time for formal periods of prayer is in the quiet of the bedroom just before retiring4 ,but there is a grave danger in establishing a regular custom of bedside prayers for children1 a danger manifest in the very form of certain of these prayers1 as ,now ,i lay me down to sleep1 ,i pray the ,lord my soul to keep4 ,it is as though the child were saying1 ,the day is ended during which ,i have been able to take care of myself1 the hours of helpless sleep begin1 and ,i ask ,god to take care of me through the terrors of the night4 ,for some children1 at least1 the night has been made terrible by that thought2 they have been led to feel that the day was safe and beautiful1 but that the night was so dangerous and fearful that only the great ,god could keep them through it1 and it was an open question whether their prayer for that keeping would be heard4 ,one must avoid also the notion that such prayers are part of a price paid1 a system of daily taxation in return for which heaven furnishes us police protection4 ,the best plan seems to be to encourage children to pray1 to establish in them the habit of closing the day with quiet1 grateful thoughts1 to watch especially that the prayers learned in early life do not distort the child's thoughts of ,god1 and to make the evening prayer an opportunity for the child to express his desires to ,god his ,father and ,friend4 ,having done this1 as the children grow up it is best to leave them free to pray when and where they will4 ,one may properly encourage the evening1 private prayer2 but the child ought to have the feeling that it is not obligatory1 that it must grow out of his desire to talk with ,god1 and1 above all1 that it has no special connection with the hour and act of retiring for sleep but rather1 so far as time is concerned1 with the closing of the day4 ,mothers must see far beyond the charm of the picture formed by the little white-robed figure at her knee4 ,there is no hour so rich in possibilities for this growing life4 ,it is one of the great opportunities to guide its consciousness of ,god4#bh #c4 ,general family prayers4--,it is true that1 in many homes1 under modern conditions of business1 it is almost impossible for the family to be united at the hour when worship used to be customary1 following breakfast4 ,however1 that is not the only hour available4 ,in many respects it is a poor one for the purpose of social worship2 it lacks the sense of leisure4 ,but there are few families where the members do not all gather for the evening meal4 ,it is not difficult to plan at its close for ten minutes in which all shall remain4 ,without leaving the table it is possible to spend a short time in united1 social worship4 ,or1 by establishing the custom and steadily following it1 it is possible to leave the table and in less than ten minutes find ample time for worship in another room4 ,really everything depends at first on how much we desire to have family worship1 whether we see its beauty and value in the knitting of home ties1 in the elevation of the family spirit1 and in the quickening of the religious ideas4 ,we find time to eat simply because we must2 when the necessity of the spirit is upon us we shall find time also to worship and to pray4 ,next to the will to make time comes the question of method4 ,first1 determine to be simple1 natural1 and informal4 ,a stilted exercise soon becomes a burden and a source of pain to all4 ,in whatever you do1 seek to make it possible for all to have a share by seeing that every thought is expressed within the intelligence of even the younger members1 that is1 of those who desire to have a share4 ,this does not mean descending to baby-talk4 ,just read the ,twenty-third ,psalm2 that is not baby talk1 but a child of seven can understand what is meant up to the measure of his experience2 the language is essentially simple though the ideas are sublime4 ,secondly1 insure brevity4 ,for that part of worship in which all are expected regularly to unite1 ten minutes should be ample4 ,some excellent programs will not take more than half this time4 ,family worship is not a diminutive facsimile of church worship4 ,doubtless the experiment has failed in many families because the father has attempted to preach to a congregation which could not escape4 ,keep in mind the thought that this is to be a high moment in each day in which every member will have an equal share4 ,thirdly1 plan for the largest possible amount of common participation4 ,this is to be the expression of the unity of the family life4 ,children enjoy doing things co-operatively and in concert4 ,fourthly1 treat the occasion naturally in relation to other affairs4 ,proceed to the worship without formal notice1 without change of voice1 and without apology to visitors4 ,take this for granted4 ,at the close move on into other duties without the sense of coming back into the world4 ,you have not been out of it2 you have only recognized the eternal life and love everywhere in it4 #d4 ,suggestions of plans4--,there are given below seven outlines of plans of worship4 ,they are plans which have been in use and have been tried for years4 ,their only merit is simplicity and practicability2 but they are at least worthy of trial4 ,there is no special significance in the arrangement of the days and this may be changed in any way desirable4 ,further1 all plans should be elastic2 there will come special days1 such as festivals and birthdays1 when the program should be varied4 ,for example1 on a birthday the child whose anniversary then occurs should have the privilege of making the choice of recitation or reading or of determining the order of all the parts of this brief period of worship4 ,,monday #a4 ,a short psalm repeated in concert4 #b4 ,a brief1 informal petition by father or mother4 #c4 ,the ,lord's ,prayer1 in which all join4 ,before attempting even this simple plan1 prepare for it by first selecting several suitable psalms4 ,the following should be included3 the #ast1 #aith1 #bc;d1 #bdth1 #ajjth1 #aagth1 #abast1 and a part of the #ajc;d4 ,you would do well to memorize one of these yourself1 so as to be able to lead without reading from the book4 ,next1 think over with some care the things for which you may pray1 the aspirations which your children can share with you4 ,few things are more difficult than this1 so to pray that all can make the prayer their own4 ,let it also be a prayer of love and joy1 not a craven begging off from punishments1 nor a cowardly plea for protection and provision4 ,we can pray over all these things with gratitude and with confidence toward the ,god of love4 ,do not try to preach in your prayers4 ,many prayers have been ruined by preaching1 just as some preaching has been spoiled by praying to the people4 ,usually four or five sentences will do for the one day4 ,better a single thought simply expressed than the most brilliant attempt to inform the ,almighty on all the events of the world that day4 ,a prayer in which all can join is always desirable4 ,the ,lord's ,prayer never wearies us nor grows old4 ,children enter into it with some new meaning every day2 it covers all our great1 common1 daily needs4 ,,tuesday #a4 ,a few favorite memory verses repeated by all 7from either the ,bible or other literature74 #b4 ,read a very brief passage from the ,bible4 #c4 ,prayer1 ending with the ,lord's ,prayer4 ,many excellent selections will be found in ,dr4 ,dole's book mentioned at the end of this chapter4 ,encourage children1 however1 to make their selections from the poems and passages they already know4 ,the passage of the ,bible selected to be read should be one which first of all incites to worship1 and should be chosen for its inspiration and literary beauty4 ,a few lines from the great chapters of ,isaiah 7e4g41 chaps4 #ce and #ee71 from the ,psalms 7e4g41 ,pss4 #fa1 #fe1 #ade71 from the ,sermon on the ,mount1 from #a ,cor41 chap4 #ac1 from the parables of ,jesus1 will be suitable4 ,the closing prayer may be extemporaneous or may be read from one of the books of prayers4 ,many of the prayers in the ,episcopal ,prayer ,book are especially beautiful and quite suitable4 ,of course in families of the ,episcopal church the collect for the day would be the right prayer to use4 ,it is sometimes necessary to use prayers prepared beforehand2 some persons never acquire the ability to pray aloud1 even in their own families4 ,but halting sentences that are your own1 that your children recognize as yours1 may mean more to them than the finest flowing phrases from a book4 ,use the prayers from the book1 not as a substitute1 but as an addition4 ,,wednesday #a4 ,a good poem from general literature4 #b4 ,prayer4 ,there are so many good collections of the great and inspiring poems that one hesitates to recommend any collection4 ,remember that a poem may be religious and imbued with the spirit of worship1 helpful to the purpose of this occasion1 even though it contains no allusions to ,scripture and makes no direct references to religious belief4 ,a ,house by the ,side of the ,road#bi is thoroughly human1 popular1 and could not even be accused of being a classic2 but it has a helpful motive and is likely to lead the will toward the life of service and brotherhood4 ,some would prefer to read a part of one of the great hymns4 ,,thursday #a4 ,a brief reading or recitation from the ,new ,testament4 #b4 ,a few moments' conversation on the reading4 #c4 ,a very brief prayer followed by a song4 ,the only apparent difficulty here is in starting the conversation4 ,do not ask formal questions2 rather put them something like this3 ,i wonder whether people would do just the same on our street today4 ,make the conversation as general as possible2 do not slight1 nor scoff at1 the contribution of even the least in the group4 ,,friday #a4 ,a few verses in concert4 #b4 ,read a parable or very brief narrative4 #c4 ,the ,lord's ,prayer4 ,the reading had better be from one of the paraphrases if it is a narrative from the ,old ,testament4#cj ,even in reading the ,new ,testament one can at times use with advantage the ,twentieth-,century ,bible or the ,modern ,reader's ,bible4 ,,saturday #a4 ,a period of song4 #b4 ,closing prayer1 with the ,lord's ,prayer4 ,perhaps only one song can be sung4 ,it need not be a hymn2 that should depend on the choice of the children4 ,help them to put together all the good songs1 including the hymns1 in one category in their minds4 ,,sunday #a4 ,ask3 ,what has been the best we have read or repeated in our worship this week8 #b4 ,ask3 ,what shall we learn for memory repetition this week1 what psalm or other passage for our concerted worship8 #c4 ,read the psalm selected4 #d4 ,closing prayer4 #e4 ,period of song1 lasting as long as desired4 ,this exercise evidently permits of extension in time and should be arranged in accordance with the program for the day4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,george ,hodges1 ,the ,training of ,children in ,religion1 chaps4 viii1 ix4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,the ,improvement of ,religious ,education1 pp4 #ajh to #abc4 ,religious ,education ,association1 #j4ej4 ,mrs4 ,b4,s4 ,winchester1 ,methods and ,materials ,available1 ,religious ,education1 ,october1 #aiaa4 #j4ej4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,koons1 ,the ,child's ,religious ,life4 ,eaton ,mains1 #a4jj4 ,hartshorne1 ,worship in the ,sunday ,school4 ,columbia ,university1 #a4be4 ,,iii4 ,methods and ,materials ,a4,r4 ,wells1 ,grace before ,meat4 ,u4,s4,c4,e41 #j4be4 ,c4,f4 ,dole1 ,choice ,verses4 ,jamaica ,plains1 ,massachusetts4 ,privately printed4 ,f4,a4 ,hinckley 7ed471 ,readings for ,sunday ,school and ,home4 ,american ,unitarian ,association1 #j4ce4 ,j4 ,martin1 ,prayers for ,little ,men and ,women4 ,harper1 #a4be4 ,s4 ,hart 7ed471 ,short ,daily ,prayers for ,families4 ,longmans1 #j4fj4 ,g4,a4 ,miller1 ,some ,out-,door ,prayers4 ,crowell1 #j4ce4 ,oxenden1 ,family ,prayers4 ,longmans1 #a4ej4 ,george ,skene1 ,morning ,prayers for ,home ,worship4 ,methodist ,book ,concern1 #a4ej4 ,w4,e4 ,barton1 ,four ,weeks of ,family ,prayer4 ,puritan ,press1 ,oak ,park1 ,ill4 ,abbott1 ,family ,prayers4 ,dodd1 ,mead ,co41 #j4ej4 ,prayers for ,parents and ,children4 ,young ,churchman ,co41 ,milwaukee1 ,wisconsin1 #j4ae4 ,,iv4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what are the causes for the decay of the custom of family worship8 #b4 ,what influences us most3 public opinion1 popular custom1 economic pressure8 #c4 ,how have the changes affected the religious influence of the home8 #d4 ,what features of the older customs are most worth preserving8 #e4 ,recall any of childhood's prayers which you remember4 ,how many maintain the custom of bedtime prayers in mature life8 #f4 ,what should be the central motive of grace at meals8 #g4 ,would there be advantage in occasionally omitting the grace8 #h4 ,give reasons for and against grace4 #i4 ,criticize the proposed plan of evening family prayers4 #aj4 ,describe any plans which have been tried4 #aa4 ,why is it desirable to maintain family worship8 ,,footnotes3 #bd ,for a study of children's worship see ,h4,h4 ,hartshorne1 ,worship in the ,sunday ,school2 ,report of ,commission on ,graded ,worship1 ,religious ,education1 ,october1 #aiad4 #be ,parents who give up such a practice as family prayers mainly because they know of many other people who have done the same are just as much the slaves of public opinion and ignorant cant as the narrowest ,lowlander who forbids his children secular history on ,sunday4--,lyttleton1 ,corner-,stone of ,education1 pp4 #bjg-h4 #bf ,quoted by ,w4,s4 ,athearn1 ,the ,church ,school4 #bg ,a number of good poems are given in ,a4,r4 ,wells1 ,grace before ,meat4 #bh ,w4,b4 ,forbush gives a number of poetic forms of prayer for children in ,the ,religious ,nurture of a ,little ,child1 pp4 #ab1 #ac4 #bi ,by ,samuel ,walter ,foss4 #cj ,one handy form is ,the ,heart of the ,bible1 prepared by ,e4,a4 ,broadus2 another1 ,the ,children's ,bible4 ,,chapter ,,xiii ,,sunday ,,in ,,the ,,home ,almost every family finds ,sunday a problem4 ,other days are well occupied with full programs2 this one has a program for only part of its time4 ,other days are rich with the liberty of happy action1 but this one is frequently marked by inaction1 repression1 and limitations4 ,as soon as the evanescent pleasure of ,sunday clothes has passed1 for those for whom it existed at all1 the children settle down to endure the day4 #a4 ,,the ,,meaning ,,of ,,the ,,day ,fathers and mothers who vent a sigh of relief when ,sunday is over must marvel at the strains of ,o day of joy and gladness4 ,yet this day defeats its purpose when it is of any other character4 ,we have no right to rob it of its joy and its healing balm4 ,on the day made for man1 sacred to his highest good1 whatever hinders the real happiness of the child ought to be set aside4 ,instead of accepting traditions regarding the method of observing the ,sunday1 would it not be worth while to ask ourselves1 ,for what use of the day can we properly be held responsible8 ,here are so many--fifty-two a year--days of special opportunity4 ,to us who complain that business interferes with the personal education of our children through the week1 what ought this day to mean8 ,to us who lament the little time we can spend with our families1 what ought this day to mean8 ,and what ought we to try to make it mean to children8 ,we call this ,god's day2 what must some children think of a ,god who robs his day of all pleasure8 ,if this is the kind of day he makes1 then how unattractive would be his years and eternity6 ,it is the day when we have our best opportunity to show them what ,god is like1 to interpret his world and his works in terms of beauty1 kindness1 riches of thought1 and love4 ,it ought to be the day reserved for the best in life1 for the treasures of affection1 for the uses of the spirit4 ,whatever is done this day must come to this test1 ,is this a ministry to the life of goodness1 truth1 and loving service8 ,does this enrich lives8 ,in other words1 we may put the broad educational test to the day and its program and determine all by ministry to growing lives4 #b4 ,,conserving ,,the ,,values ,the family faces the problem of the opposition between the rights of man on this day and the greed of commerce1 the fight between a day of rest and a day of work4 ,man's right to rest is assured1 legally1 but commerce in the name of amusement and in the guise of petty and unnecessary trading constantly maintains its fight to invade the day of rest1 to turn it from ministry to man as a person to the dull level of the week of ministry to things4 ,the home has much at stake in this struggle4 ,it needs one day free from the life that tears its members apart1 free from the toil that engrosses thought1 free for its members to live together as spiritual beings4 ,in the need for one day1 free from the things that hinder and devoted to the life of the spirit1 the home finds the guiding principle for the use of the day2 all members are to be trained to use it as a glorious opportunity1 a welcome period1 a day of the best things of life4 ,it is devoted to personality1 to man's rights as a religious being4 ,surely one of the best things of life will be that we shall meet one another1 shall look into faces of friends and companions6 ,and this opportunity of social mingling is lifted to a high level when it is an act of the larger family life1 the life that brings ,god and man into one family4 ,that is what the church meeting and service ought to be3 our ,father's larger family getting together on the day of the life that makes them one4 ,for the child the church school and the children's service of worship are their immediate points of vital touch with the church family4 ,if we think of the day as affording us the pleasure of social mingling with friends and members of that family1 ,sunday morning will cease to be a period of unwilling observance of empty duties4 ,of course that will depend1 too1 on the measure in which the church and school grasp their opportunity to make this the best of days4#ca ,further1 let the home keep this day as the one of personal values all the way through1 sacred to that life of love1 friendship1 and joy in the presence of one another which is the essential life of the family4 ,it has always been a good custom for friends to visit on this day1 for families grown up and established around their own hearths to gather again for a few hours4 ,it is the day when we have time to discover how much greater are the riches of friendship than aught besides1 when1 looking into the eyes of those we love1 we see the light that never was on sea or land1 the ultimate good6 ,the hours of being together are the hours of real education4 ,children cannot be with good and great people and remain the same4 ,their lives need other lives4 ,above all1 they need us4 ,this should be the day for real mothering and fathering4 ,nothing ought to be permitted to interfere with this1 neither our social pleasures nor the demands of the church4 #c4 ,,the ,,problem ,,of ,,play ,what shall we do with the child who wants to play on ,sunday8 ,is there any other kind of child8 ,they all want to4 ,it is as natural for a child to play as it is for a man to rest2 it is as necessary4 ,a child is a growing person learning life by play4 ,because play seems trivial to us we assume it is so to them2 we would banish the trivial from the day devoted to the higher life4 ,in some families play is forbidden because children find pleasure in it1 and adults find it impossible to associate piety and pleasure4 ,shall we then throw down all barriers and make this day the same as all others8 ,no1 rather make the day different by throwing down barriers that stand on other days4 ,let this be the day when the barriers between father and sons1 parents and children1 are let down and all can enter into the joy of living4 ,play is to a child the idealization of life's experiences and the realization of its ideals4 ,that is why he plays at school1 idealizing the everyday life2 that is why he plays at housekeeping1 at being in church1 at being a railway engineer1 even a highwayman or an outlaw4 ,the traditional games are the game of life itself in terms of childhood4 ,play as idealized experience and realized ideals is to the child what the church1 worship1 and the reading of fiction and essays are to the adult4 ,play is the child's method of reaching forward into life's meaning4 ,some games as old as history carry a weight of human tradition and experience as rich for a child as the adult obtains from historical review and from association with the past4 ,there is a sense in which the child playing these games opens the ,bible of the race4#cb ,we cannot make children over into our pattern2 we have to learn from them4 ,indeed1 we come to life through their ways4 ,we must become as little children4 ,before we settle the question of play on ,sunday we do well to be sure that we know what play means to children1 that we really grasp something of its educational value and its religious potency4 ,then we can proceed to a family policy in ,sunday play4 #d4 ,a ,,policy ,,on ,,play ,keep the day as one of family unity4 ,help the child to think of it as a day protected for the sake of family togetherness4 ,you can play that for this day the ideal is already realized of a family life uninterrupted by the demands of labor and business4 ,maintain the unity by doing the ideal things together4 ,go to the place of worship together1 provided it is the place where the child can find expression for spiritual ideals4 ,if the ,sunday school does not really lift the child-life and really teach the child1 if it is not honest with him and makes no suitable provision for his developing nature1 he will be better off in a quiet hour of family conversation and reading at home4 ,that means the application of parents to this hour4#cc ,it banishes the monstrous ,sunday supplement with its hideous1 debasing pictures4 ,it substitutes conversation in the whole group1 reading aloud of stories and poems1 biblical and otherwise1 and songs1 hymns1 or at times the walk in the fields or parks4 ,fortunately the better type of ,sunday school is more and more to be found2 children are more and more receiving a ministry actually determined by their needs4 ,so far as the church service is concerned the ideal situation is found when a parallel service is provided for children1 based on their needs and capacities4 ,as to attendance1 under other circumstances1 in the family pew1 that depends on whether the child is gaining an aversion to the church by the torture and tedium often involved4 ,without doubt many adults acquired the settled habit of sleeping in church because that was the only possible relief in childhood4#cd ,maintain the family unity by stepping into the child's ideal life4 ,expect activity and use it4 ,why should we assume that because the adult finds a ,sunday nap enjoyable the child will be blessed by enforced silence8 ,i would rather see a father playing catch with his boys on ,sunday than see the boys cowed into silence while he slept a ,sabbath sleep4 ,children will play4 ,their play is innocent2 more1 it may be helpful and educative2 we can insure these values in it by our participation4 ,that is the parent's opportunity for a closer sympathy with his children4 ,playing together is the closest living1 thinking1 and feeling together4 ,where games are shared1 confidences1 secrets1 and aspirations are shared1 too4 ,besides1 the participation of the adult may tend to tone up the game and to moderate boisterousness4 ,seek the beautiful4 ,speaking as one who has been under both the puritanical regulation and the so-called continental freedom of ,sunday observance1 nothing seems much more beautiful than the sight of an entire family playing at home1 in the park1 or off in the woods or the fields of the country4 ,life is strengthened1 ideals are lifted1 family ties knit closer1 gratitude is quickened1 and courage stimulated by play of this kind4 #e4 ,,points ,,of ,,difference ,but because it is evidently most important that this day should be different from other days1 it is well to mark that difference in our plays and pleasures and to follow some simple principles for ,sunday play4 ,first1 make it the day of the best plays4 ,the participation of parents will tend to have this effect4 ,sometimes some forms of play may be reserved for this day4 ,secondly1 our play should never interfere with the rights of those who desire to be quiet or to observe the day in ways differing from ours4 ,we must respect the rights of all4 ,thirdly1 our play must not cause additional or unnecessary labor4 ,fourthly1 our play must not interfere with the pleasures of others4 ,for instance1 in the city children who can use the public tennis courts every day should keep off them on ,sunday in order to give opportunity to those who can use them only on that day4 ,having said so much on play on ,sundays1 we must not leave the impression that play is the principal thing4 ,it would be the principal thing for children compelled to work or confined in crowded tenements on all other days4 ,this is a day of rest4 ,play should not be carried beyond the rest and refreshment stage4 ,nor must we assume that a recognition of play involves neglect of worship and instruction4 ,both should be cherished among the delights of the day4 ,every attempt to make the day a happy one1 by normal play1 associates the emphasis on worship with increased happiness in the child's mind4 #f4 ,,the ,,sunday ,,afternoon ,,problem ,what shall we do8 the children ask restlessly on ,sunday afternoons1 and it is by no means a strange question4 ,all the week they have their school work1 on ,saturdays their play4 ,no wonder ,sunday afternoon seems dull4 ,yet if we older ones use it aright this is our opportunity to give them the best time of all the week4 ,we can make this part of the day really a holiday if we just take time to plan it right4 ,there is something wrong in the home in which the child1 as he grows up1 does not look forward happily to his ,sunday afternoons4 ,sunday afternoon should be a family festival time4 ,keep it sacred to the family4 ,business and social life claim us all the week1 and the church claims its share of this day2 but these afternoon hours we can1 if we will1 reserve for our own home life1 for the closer drawing together of children and parents4 ,to hold this time sacred for the children and their interests will help to solve the ,sunday afternoon problem4 #a4 ,the child's question1 ,what shall ,i do next8--,children are dynamic1 perpetually active4 ,they grow in the direction toward which their activities are turned4 ,repression is impossible4 ,we must either find the best things for them to do1 or let them chance on things good or bad4 ,the following outline for ,sunday afternoon is given in the hope that it may help to answer the what next4 #a4 ,begin to make ,the ,family ,book4 #b4 ,give festival name to the day1 and take an excursion in honor of the one for whom the day is named4 #c4 ,organize an exploring party to discover peoples and scenes of long1 long ago4 #d4 ,get acquainted with some beautiful home thoughts4 #e4 ,enjoy an evening hour of song and praise4 #b4 ,the ,family ,book4--,to start ,the ,family ,book1 mother or father raises the question at dinner3 ,what was the best ,sunday of all last year1 and why was it the best8 ,everyone1 from the oldest down to the least1 should have a chance to tell4 ,the statements of the older ones will encourage the younger4 ,that question will start another3 ,what is the very best thing we can remember about the year past8 ,let everyone take a pencil and paper and in just ten minutes decide on and write down the one thing best worth remembering4 ,perhaps the baby cannot write yet1 but he or she will want paper and pencil1 too4 ,now1 instead of making our answers known to one another1 we fold the papers and keep them till the evening meal4 ,we will open them then and talk it all over4 ,afterward we are going to copy the answers into a new book we are going to make4 ,this new book is to be called ,the ,family ,book1 and we expect to put into it all the pleasant things we wish to record about our home and family4 ,any blank book with ruled lines will do4 ,some time today we will elect a keeper of the book1 and before we go to bed we will see the first entry in that book under the title1 ,happy ,memories of #aiae4 ,that will make a good beginning for ,the ,family ,book4 ,next ,sunday we will discuss and set down in the book the happy memories of the intervening week4 #c4 ,the festival name4--,now1 we have been sitting1 talking1 and writing as long as the children will care to be still4 ,suppose we all go outdoors together1 every one of us4 ,what if the weather is bad8 ,it is seldom truly bad1 and there is so much real happiness in going out in all weathers together4 ,but where shall we go8 ,there is no fun in walking simply for exercise or health4 ,well1 says father1 we can decide where to go by naming the day4 ,how8 ,we will find the most interesting birthday or anniversary that falls today or during the next week4 ,if one of the family has a birthday then1 that one shall choose our walk for us4 ,if not1 then when we have chosen the national hero or heroine whose birthday falls near this time1 or the event the anniversary of which comes nearest1 we will go1 if possible1 where something will remind us of that person or event4 ,so we fall to discussing the possibilities4 ,we search through almanacs until we find the anniversary that suits us all4 ,perhaps one of the parents has anticipated all this by looking up the matter1 and has a good name to suggest4 ,or the older ones may consult a dictionary of dates4 ,it may turn out to be the birthday of a national hero4 ,in the city he may have a statue2 in the country may be found the kinds of woods1 flowers1 or animals he loved4 #d4 ,the exploring party4--,but even after the walk it will not be long before the little ones are asking1 ,what can we do next8 ,so we organize the exploring party4 ,our object is to discover the countries1 scenes1 strange peoples1 and most interesting persons we have heard of in the ,bible4 ,we are to find them in the advertising sections of old magazines4 ,let each one take a magazine and go through it1 looking for oriental scenes1 for pictures of incidents and of men and women that will remind him of ,bible scenes and characters4 ,these are to be cut out1 explained1 and arranged in the order of time1 as they happened1 every member of the family helping4 ,the same plan may be applied to scenes of missionary work1 using blank books for stories of heroism which children will illustrate with the magazine pictures4 #e4 ,home thoughts4--,home1 sweet home1 is just a corner of the afternoon saved for the discovery and reading of selections that are worth keeping in our memories and are also likely to help us hold our homes in some measure of the love and reverence they deserve4 ,there are songs of home that ought never to be forgotten4 #f4 ,religious reading and songs close the day happily4--,children love religious reading and songs1 provided they are offered for their worth and not as an exercise1 or to be learned as an empty duty4 ,take down your ,bible and read ,psalm #ajj1 ,make a joyful noise unto the ,lord1 all ye lands2 see whether they do not all enjoy the music and majesty of those lines4 ,you will not find it difficult to secure their co-operation in learning that by heart4 ,then close the day with an hour of song4 ,the children will remember songs learned thus all their lives2 therefore those worth remembering should be chosen4 ,for one1 there is that dear old song many of us learned at mother's knee1 ,jesus loves me1 this ,i know4 ,that and others that are appropriate can be found in almost every hymnbook4 ,many books of school songs also have a few hymns and ,sunday songs that children like4 ,parents are puzzled1 perhaps most of all1 to choose appropriate stories to read to the children on ,sunday4 ,youngsters prefer1 of course1 the told story to the read one1 but if you wish to read you will make no mistake in selecting ,christie's ,old ,organ2 ,aunt ,abbey's ,neighbors1 by ,annie ,t4 ,slosson2 ,the ,book of ,golden ,deeds1 by ,charlotte ,m4 ,yonge2 and ,telling ,bible ,stories1 by ,louise ,s4 ,houghton4 ,some ,great ,stories and ,how to ,tell ,them1 by ,richard ,wyche1 and ,story ,telling1 by ,edna ,lyman1 will serve as good guides to what to tell1 and how to tell it4 #g4 ,naming the day4--,from week to week variety should enter into the ,sunday program4 ,on the ,sunday following the one described above we can begin at the dinner table the happy task of naming the day4 ,we can decide whether it shall be called after one of our own number1 whose birthday falls near this date1 or after one of the anniversaries of the week following4 ,perhaps someone suggests calling it after the feast day of the church year observed by certain churches4 ,that should lead to discussion and investigation of the meaning of the day4 ,when all are agreed on a name1 write it under its date on your wall calendar4 ,it will be a convenient suggestion for next year1 unless the decision is for a different name when the day again comes round4 ,it will also call to mind some of the interesting discussions which it aroused4 ,after this we might call for ,the ,family ,book1 which now contains1 you will recall1 the family's decision as to the best ,sunday and the happiest occurrences of the year before4 ,the keeper1 appointed last week1 must bring it out4 ,we can read what we wrote a week ago and decide on the things worth entering this week4 ,records of birthdays1 special happenings to each of the family1 the bright sayings of little ones1 and the visits of friends and relatives all should go in4 #h4 ,i remember stories4--,while ,the ,family ,book is open is the psychological moment for father and mother to tell stories of their childhood4 ,every child likes to hear the story that begins1 ,i remember1 and feels a thrill of pride in belonging to something that goes back and has a history4 ,the old family album is a never-failing source of delight1 not so much because of the pictures as because of what they suggest of family traditions4 ,now is a good time to select some certain thing which shall be used only on this day1 such as a festival lamp or candlestick1 some festival plates or dishes--just one thing or set of things toward the use of which we can look forward during the week4 ,this helps to make ,sunday what we used to call a treat4 #i4 ,golden deeds4--,last week we started ,the ,family ,book in which to keep a record of all the happy experiences that belong to our family4 ,this week we begin another book4 ,in it we expect to place every week just one splendid story1 the account of a golden deed1 some piece of everyday kindness or heroism of which we have read or heard or which we have witnessed4 ,everyone is to have a chance to contribute to this book1 all the family deciding by vote each week as to which story should be placed on its pages4 ,did you read in the paper this week of some brave or kindly deed done by a boy or a girl1 a man or a woman8 ,did you see someone do an act of kindness8 ,cut out the account or write out the story and have it ready for your own ,golden ,deed ,book4 ,everyone must watch all the week for the right kind of stories4 ,it is wonderful how much good you will find in the world when you are looking for it4 ,sunday afternoons all the family can hear each story and talk over its fine points of virtue and goodness4 ,thus may be developed an appreciation of the human qualities that are really admirable4 ,we can discuss also the probability of certain of the stories and the righteousness of the deeds4 ,any blank book will do1 or even a composition book4 ,it will help to keep hands happily occupied if you make your own covers and cut out gilt letters for the title4 ,often you can find pictures to illustrate the stories chosen2 sometimes you may prefer to draw the illustrations4 ,keep ,the ,golden ,deed ,book in a safe and convenient place1 because there ought to be something to go into it every week4 ,for instance1 did you read the other day of the young man who jumped in front of a train to save a young girl8 ,he lost his life1 but he saved hers4 ,can you find that story and put it in the book8 ,perhaps you have found one that seems even more fitting4 #aj4 ,various plans4--,giving happiness creates it4 ,plan something every ,sunday for the happiness of others4 ,occasionally go in a body to call on someone who will be made happy by the visit4 ,if you walk in the park or elsewhere1 see how many things you can discover that you have read about in the ,bible or know to be mentioned there4 ,try the game of guessing hymns4 ,while someone plays the familiar tunes1 each takes a turn at identifying them and the hymns to which they belong4 ,set aside twenty minutes for each one to write a letter to send to the brother or sister1 relative or friend1 at a distance4 ,even the baby can scratch something which he thinks is a real enough letter in penciled scribbles4 ,close the day with quiet reading and song1 or with the memory exercise in which all endeavor to repeat some simple psalm or a few verses1 like the ,beatitudes4 ,all children like to repeat the ,lord's ,prayer in family concert4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,emilie ,poulsson1 ,love and ,law in ,child ,training1 chaps4 i-iv4 ,milton ,bradley1 #a4jj4 ,happy ,sundays for ,children and ,sunday in the ,home4 ,pamphlets4 ,american ,institute of ,child ,life1 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,sunday ,play4 ,pamphlet4 ,american ,institute of ,child ,life1 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,hodges1 ,training of ,children in ,religion1 chap4 xiii4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,,iii4 ,methods and ,materials ,a ,year of ,good ,sundays4 ,pamphlet4 ,american ,institute of ,child ,life1 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,,iv4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what is the real problem of ,sunday in the family8 ,is it that of securing quiet or of wisely directing the action of the young8 #b4 ,recall your childhood's ,sundays4 ,were they for good or ill8 #c4 ,what are the arguments against children playing on ,sunday8 ,is there any essential relation between the play of children and the wide-open ,sunday of commercialized amusements8 #d4 ,can you describe forms of play in which practically all the family might unite8 #e4 ,what characteristics should distinguish play on ,sundays from other days8 ,is it wise to attempt thus to distinguish this day8 #f4 ,criticize the suggestions on occupations for ,sunday afternoons4 #g4 ,recall any especially helpful forms of the use of this day in your childhood1 or coming under your observation4 ,,footnotes3 #ca ,see chap4 xvii1 ,the ,family and the ,church4 #cb ,see chap4 vii on ,directed ,activity1 and the references for study at its end4 #cc ,much may be learned by a study of ,primary plans in a modern ,sunday school4 ,see ,athearn1 ,the ,church ,school1 chap4 vi4 #cd ,since we are dealing here especially with religious education in the family1 the author refers to his more extended treatment of the question of children in church services in ,efficiency in the ,sunday ,school1 chap4 xv4 ,,chapter ,,xiv ,,the ,,ministry ,,of ,,the ,,table ,shall the periods for meals be for the body only or shall we see in them happy occasions for the enriching of the higher life8 ,upon the answer depends whether the table shall be little more than a feeding-trough or the scene of constant mental and character development4 ,in some memories the meals stand out only in terms of food1 while pictures of dishes and fragments of food fill the mind2 in others there are borne through all life pictures of happy faces and thoughts of cheer1 of knowledge gained and ideals created in the glow of conversation4 #a4 ,,the ,,opportunity ,the family is together as a united group at the table more than anywhere besides4 ,table-talk1 by its informality and by the aid of the pleasures of social eating1 is one of the most influential means of education4 ,depend upon it1 children are more impressed by table-talk than by teacher-talk or by pulpit-talk4 ,they expect moralizing on the other occasions1 but here the moral lessons throw out no warning2 they meet no opposition2 they are--or ought to be1 if they would be effective--a natural part of ordinary conversation and1 by being part and parcel of everyday affairs1 they become normally related to life4 ,the table is the best opportunity for informal1 indirect teaching1 and this is for children the natural and only really effective form of moral instruction4 ,the child comes to these social occasions with a hungry mind as well as with an empty stomach4 ,his mind is always receptive--even more so than his stomach2 at the table he is absorbing that which will stay with him much longer than his food4 ,even if we were thinking of his food alone1 we should still do well to see that the table is graced by happy and helpful conversation2 nothing will aid digestion more than good cheer of the spirit2 it stimulates the organs and1 by diverting attention from the mere mechanics of eating1 it tends to that most desirable end1 a leisurely consumption of food4 ,the general conversation of the family group has more to do with character development in children than we are likely to realize1 and the table is peculiarly the opportunity for general conversation4 ,here1 most of all1 we need to watch its character and consider its teaching effects4 ,where father scolds or mother complains the children grow fretful and quarrelsome4 ,where father spends the time in reciting the sharp dealing of the market or the political ring1 where mother delights in dilating on the tinsel splendors of her social rivalries1 they teach the children that life's object is either gain at any cost or social glory4 ,but it is just as easy to do precisely the opposite1 to speak of the pleasures found in simpler ways1 to glory in goodness and kindness1 and to teach1 by relating the worthy things of the day1 the worth of love and truth and high ideals4 ,the news of the day may be discussed so as to make this world a game of grab1 inviting youth to cast conscience and honor to the winds and to plunge into the greedy struggle1 or so as to make each day a book of beautiful pictures of life's best pleasures and enduring prizes4 #b4 ,,directing ,,table-,,talk ,but table-talk1 helpful1 cheerful1 and educative1 does not occur by accident4 ,it comes1 first1 from our own constant and habitual thought of the meals in social and spiritual1 as well as in physical1 terms4 ,and it reaches its possibilities as we endeavor to create and direct the kind of conversation that is desired4 ,let all your speech be seasoned with salt1 wrote the apostle1 and we might add1 let your salt be seasoned with good speech4 ,that is the quality we must seek1 the seasoning of healthful1 saving1 and not insipid1 speech4 ,one of the great advantages of grace before meat lies in this3 it gives a tone to the occasion4 ,its chief meaning is surely that we remind ourselves of the ever-present guest who is also the giver of all good4 ,where the grace is not a perfunctory act1 but rather the welcoming of such a guest1 the meal has started on a high level4 ,we cannot do better than so to act and speak as those who take the divine presence for granted4 ,we need not preach about it2 we need only to assume it and move on the level of that friendship4 ,children will feel it2 they will seek to answer to it1 and will find pleasure in the very thought which they have perhaps never expressed in words4 ,the central idea of the grace suggests another means of helpful influences at the table1 by bringing into our homes1 for the meals1 the friends whose lives will lift these younger ones4 ,it is worth everything to live even for an hour with good and broadening lives4 ,there are obligations to our guests to be considered1 and their wishes should be consulted1 but one always feels that children are being cheated when they are sent to eat at another table and deprived of the peculiar intimate touch with lives that bring the benefits of travel and experience4 ,ask your own memory what some persons who ate at the table with you in childhood meant to you4 ,the wise hostess knows that even when she brings together the group of mature folks1 and even when they are wise and witty1 she must be prepared adroitly to inspire the conversation or it may flag at times4 ,how much more does the conversation need direction where we have the same group every day composed largely of immature persons6 ,when you have thought of all the portions and all the plates1 have you thought of the food for the spirit8 ,before suggesting methods of selection and direction1 let a word of explanation be said3 food for the spirit is not confined to theology1 to hymns and the ,bible2 it is whatever will help us to feel and think of life as an affair of the spirit4 ,and this must come in very simple terms1 by the elementary steps1 for young folks4 ,it will be whatever will in any way help us to live more kindly1 more cheerfully1 more as though this really were ,god's world and all folks his family4 ,whatever does this is truly religious4 #c4 ,,methods ,plan for the food of the spirit as seriously at least as for the food of the body4 ,learn to recognize poisons and also indigestibles4 ,the first are subjects of scandal1 bitterness of spirit1 malice1 impatience1 tale-bearing1 unkindly criticism1 and discontent4 ,the second are subjects too heavy for children3 your formal theology would be one of them1 your judgments on some intricate subjects may be among them4 ,it is seldom wise to announce negative injunctions1 but we can make up our own minds to avoid the conversational poisons and1 when they appear1 it is always easy to push them out4 ,even when the unpleasant subject is so common to all and has been so impressive in the day's experience that it threatens to become the sole1 absorbing topic1 we can say1 ,we won't talk of it at table6 ,let's find something better4 ,but we must then have ready the something better2 that will be possible only by forethought4 ,first1 save up during the day1 or between the meals1 the best thoughts1 the cheering1 kind1 ideal1 and amusing incidents4 ,cultivate the habit of saying to yourself1 ,this is something for us all to enjoy tonight at the table4 ,secondly1 expect the other members to bring their best4 ,ask for the best news of the day from one and another4 ,encourage them to tell of good things seen and done and of pleasant and ideal things heard and spoken4 ,thirdly1 use the incidents as the basis of discussion4 ,let children tell what they think of moral situations4 ,often they will quote the opinions of teachers and others4 ,always you will secure under these circumstances the unreserved expression of what they actually think4 ,a free1 informal conversation of this sort where opinions are kindly examined and compared is the finest kind of teaching4 ,fourthly1 do not forget the grace of humor4 ,to see the odd1 whimsical1 startling side of the incident or experience trains one to see the interplay of life1 to catch a ray of light from all things1 and to moderate our tendency to permit our tragedies to pull the heavens down4 ,fifthly1 use this period to strengthen the consciousness of family unity by recounting past happy experiences and discussing plans of family life4 ,in one family there are few meals from ,october to ,christmas that do not include reminiscences of the summer in the woods and by the water1 or from ,christmas to ,june without plans for the next summer in the same place4 ,then1 too1 if you are contemplating something new1 a piano1 a chair1 an automobile1 talk it all over here4 ,let each one have his share in the planning4 ,the effect is most important for character2 the children acquire the sense of a share in the family community life4 ,they get their first lessons in citizenship in this group1 and they thus learn social living4 ,then when the chair1 or what not1 is bought1 it is not alone the parents' possession2 it belongs to all and all treat it as the property of all4 ,sixthly1 introduce great guests who cannot come in person4 ,it is fine fun to say1 ,we have with us tonight a man who loved bees and wrote books4 ,let them guess who it was2 help1 if necessary1 by an allusion to ,the ,life of the ,bee and ,the ,blue ,bird4 ,they will want to know more about ,maeterlinck and they will joyously imagine what they would say to him and how he would answer1 what he would eat and how he would behave4 ,in this way we may enjoy knowing better ,lincoln1 ,whittier1 ,florence ,nightingale1 and an innumerable company4 ,seventhly1 this is the place to remind ourselves that table-manners are no small part of the moral life4 ,by the habituation of custom we can establish lives in attitudes of everyday thoughtfulness for others1 in the underlying consideration of others which is the basis of all courtesy4 ,children's questions on table-etiquette must be met1 not only by the formal rules1 but also by their explanation in the intent of every gentle life to give pleasure and not pain to others1 so to live in all things as to find helpful harmony with other lives and to help them to find and be the best4 ,it is not only impolite to grab and guzzle1 it is unsocial and so unmoral1 because it is both a bad example and a distressing sight to others4 ,it is irreligious1 because whatever tends to make this life less beautiful must be offensive to the ,god who made all things good4 ,if we ourselves seek to maintain beauty1 order1 and kindliness in the conduct of the table1 our children acquire a love of all that makes for beauty and order and kindliness1 for righteousness in the little things of life4 ,a clean tablecloth may be a means of grace4 ,you have to try to live up to it4 ,order and quietness in eating are not separable from the rest of the life4 ,to lift up life at any point is to raise the whole level4 ,to let it down at any point is to let all down4 ,but to lift up the level of conversation at the table is to raise the level of the entire occasion and to make it more than a period of eating1 to convert it into a festival1 a joyous occasion of the spirit4 ,the meal should be in all things worthy of the unseen guest4 ,how near we all come together at the table6 ,in its freedom how clearly are we seen by our children6 ,here they know us for what we are and so learn to interpret life4 ,i4 ,reference for ,study ,table ,talk4 ,pamphlet4 ,american ,institute of ,child ,life1 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,,ii4 ,topics ,tor ,discussion #a4 ,the relation of mental conditions to digestion4 #b4 ,the relation of table-etiquette to life-habits4 #c4 ,the table as an opportunity for the grace of courtesy1 and the relation of this grace to ,christian character4 #d4 ,training children in listening as well as in talking at table4 #e4 ,do you regard table-talk and table-manners as having any directly religious values8 ,why8 ,,chapter ,,xv ,,the ,,boy ,,and ,,girl ,,in ,,the ,,family ,much that has been said so far has had in mind only the problems of dealing with younger children in the life of the home4 ,indeed1 almost all literature on education in the family is devoted to the years prior to adolescence4 ,but older boys and girls need the family and the family needs them4 ,many of the more serious problems of youth with which society is attempting to deal are due to the fact that from the age of thirteen on boys have no home life and girls1 especially in the cities1 are deprived of the home influences4 #a4 ,,the ,,growing ,,boy ,the life of the family must have a place for the growing boy4 ,it must make provision for his physical needs2 these are food1 activity1 rest1 and shelter4 ,youth is a period of physical crisis4 ,health is the basis of a sound moral life4 ,many of the lad's apparently strange propensities are due to the physical changes taking place in his body and1 often1 to the fact that it is assumed that his rugged frame needs no care or attention4#ce ,it will take more than tearful pleading to hold him to his home2 he can be held only by its ministry to him2 he will be there if it is the most attractive place for him4 ,some parents who are praying for wandering boys would know why they wandered if they looked calmly at the crowded quarters given to the boy1 the comfortless room1 the makeshift bed1 and the general home organization which long ago assumed that a boy could be left out of the reckoning4 ,the boy needs a part in the family activities4 ,he can belong only to that to which he can give himself4 ,it will be his home in the degree that he has a share in its business4 ,begin early to confer with him about your plans2 make him feel that he is a partner4 ,see that he has a chance to do part of the work1 not only its chores1 but also its forms of service4 ,but even a boy's attitude to the chores will depend on whether they are a responsibility with a degree of dignity or a form of unpaid drudgery4 ,his room should be his own room1 and he should be responsible for its neatness and its adorning4 ,services which he does regularly for all should receive regular compensation4 ,in all services which the home renders for others he should have a share2 this is his training for the larger citizenship and society of service4#cf ,the boy is a playing animal4 ,not all homes can be fully equipped with play apparatus4 ,but no parents have a right to choose family quarters as though children needed nothing but meals and beds4 ,the shame of the modern apartment building is that its conveniences are all for passive adults4 ,to attempt to train an active1 growing1 vigorous1 playing human creature in one of these immense filing-cases1 where all persons are shot up elevators and filed away in pigeonholes called rooms1 is to force him out to the life of the streets4 ,the thoughtless self-indulgence of modern parents1 seeking only to live without physical effort1 is the cause of much juvenile delinquency4#cg ,but play for the boy is more than shouting and running in the grass and among trees2 he needs books and opportunities for indoor recreation4 ,for the sake of the lad we had better sacrifice the guest-room if necessary1 and make way for the punching-bag and the home billiard-table or pool-table2 here is a magnet of innocent skilful play to draw him off the street and to bring the boy and his friends under his own roof4 ,if possible his room ought to be the place that is his own1 where his friends may come1 where he may taste the beginnings of the joys of home-living in receiving them and entertaining them4#ch ,a workbench in the attic or basement has saved many a boy from the street4 ,such apparatus truly interferes with the symmetrical plan of a home that is designed for the entertainment of the neighbors2 but families must some time choose between chairs and children1 between the home for the purpose of the lives in it and the household for the purpose of a salon4#ci #b4 ,,religious ,,service ,in the religious family there is valuable opportunity to train youth to one form of participation in the religious life4 ,whatever the family gives or does for social service1 for philanthropic enterprises1 for the support of the church or religious work1 ought to be1 not the gift of one member or of the heads alone1 but of the whole family1 extending itself in service through the community1 the nation1 and the world4 ,the form and the amount of the gifts ought to be a matter of family conference and each member ought early to have the opportunity and the means of determining his share in such extension4 ,the child's gifts to the church should not be pennies thrust into his hand as he crosses the threshold of home for the ,sunday school1 but his own money1 from his own account--partly his own direct earnings--appropriated for this or for other purposes by himself and with the advice of his parents4 ,family councils on forms of participation in ideal activities1 by gifts and by service1 bind the whole life together and form occasions in which the child is learning life in terms of loving1 self-giving service4#dj ,the boy needs friendship4 ,not all his needs can be met by the schoolboys whom he may bring into his room1 nor can they all be met by his mother's affection4 ,he needs a father4 ,the most serious obstacle to the religious education of boys is that most of them are half-orphans2 intellectually and spiritually they have no fathers4 ,the ,american ideal seems to be that the man shall be the money-maker1 the woman the social organizer1 and the children shall be committed to hired shepherds or left to shift for themselves4 #c4 ,,the ,,father ,,and ,,the ,,boy ,no one else can be quite the teacher for the boy that his father ought to be4 ,no man can ever commit to another1 still less to some tract or book1 the duty of guiding his boy to sanity and consecration in the matter of the sex problems4 ,the first word that needs to be said on this subject is that such problems receive safe and sufficient guidance only in the atmosphere of affection and reverence4 ,do not attempt to teach this boy of yours as though you were dealing with a class in physiology4 ,the largest thing you can do for him is to quicken a reverence for the body and for the functions of life4 ,by your own attitude1 by your own expressions and opinions1 lead him to a hatred and abhorrence of the base1 filthy1 and bestial1 to a healthy fear and detestation of all that despoils and degrades manhood1 and to a reverence for purity1 beauty1 and life4#da ,be prepared to give him1 on the basis of reverence1 the clean1 clear facts4 ,be sure you have the facts4 ,do not think he is ignorant2 he is in a world seething with conversation1 stories1 pictures1 and experiences of evil4 ,the trouble is that his facts are partial1 distorted1 and unbalanced by positive errors2 his knowledge is gained from the street and the school-yard4 ,only a personal teacher can help him unravel the good from the bad1 the true from the false4 ,do not trust to your own general knowledge2 take time to read one of the simple and sane books on this subject4#db ,be ready to lead him aright4 ,remember this subject has provoked a large number of books1 many of which are foolish and others unwholesome4 ,do not try to deputize your duty to some doubtful book4 #d4 ,,fathering ,,the ,,boy ,but the boy needs more than instruction on a special subject2 he needs personality1 he needs the time and thought of1 and personal contact with1 his father4 ,men who do not live with boys never know what they lose4 ,and alas1 see what the boy misses6 ,he has been his mother's boy up to school age when school takes him and gives him a woman's guidance1 while the ,sunday school is likely to keep him--for a while only--under the eye of some dear sister who just loves boys4 ,the system is a vicious one4 ,the lad needs developed masculinity4 ,if he gets it neither in school nor in the home he will find it on the street corner1 through the vicious boy-leader of the degrading poolroom or the alleys4 ,the boy who finds his father eager to talk over the game1 to discuss the merits of peg-tops1 to walk1 row1 play1 and work with him1 finds it as simple and natural to talk with him over his moral and religious questionings as it is to talk over the daily happenings4 ,to live with the boy is to find the youth with you4 ,but it is hard work discovering your young men if you lost your boys4#dc #e4 ,,the ,,growing ,,girl ,almost all that has been said about the boy applies to the girl of the same years4 ,let a special plea be entered here against the notion that girls are favored when sheltered from a share in the activities of the home4 ,they desire to express their ideals as much as do boys4 ,much of the so-called craze for amusements is due to the fact that the family is so organized that there is no vent to the ideals there1 no chance to have a share in the business of life4 ,young folks with the sense that this is our home1 not our parents'1 but ours bend their energies to its adorning1 and find in it the chance to realize some of their passion for beauty and for service4#dd ,mothers usually do better than do fathers in the matter of sex instruction4 ,yet they usually begin too late1 long after the little girl has acquired much misleading information in the school4 ,here1 too1 the first aim must be to quicken reverence for life1 to set up the conception of the beauty and dignity of sex functions before the baser mind of the street has had an opportunity to interpret them in terms of the dirt4#de ,above all1 with boys and girls1 the whole subject1 including marriage and the founding of a family1 must ever be treated with dignity and reverence4 ,foolish parents jest with their girls about their beaux and boast that their little ones are playing at courtship4 ,if they could realize the wonder awakened1 followed by pain and then by hardened sensibilities and coarsened ideals1 they would sacrifice their jests for the sake of the child's soul4 ,we wonder that youth treats lightly the matter of social purity when we have treated the sacred relations of life as a jest4 ,if this family in which they now live is to be a place of sacred associations1 of real religious life1 the whole matter of marriage and the family must be treated with reverence4 ,their practice will not rise above our everyday ideals as expressed in casual conversation and in our own practice4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,,the ,,boy ,w4,a4 ,mc,keever1 ,training the ,boy1 ,part ,,iii4 ,macmillan1 #a4ej4 ,boy ,training1 ,part ,,iv4 ,a ,symposium4 ,associated ,press4 ,johnson1 ,the ,problems of ,boyhood4 ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press1 #a4jj4 ,,the ,,girl ,margaret ,slattery1 ,the ,girl in ,her ,teens1 chaps4 iv1 vii4 ,sunday ,school ,times ,co41 #j4ej4 ,wayne1 ,building ,your ,girl4 ,mc,clurg1 #j4ej4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,w4,b4 ,forbush1 ,the ,coming ,generation4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,puffer1 ,the ,boy and ,his ,gang4 ,houghton ,mifflin ,co41 #a4jj4 ,irving ,king1 ,the ,high ,school ,age4 ,bobbs-,merrill1 #a4jj4 ,building ,childhood1 ,a ,symposium4 ,sunday ,school ,times ,co41 #a4jj4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what are the special needs of the growing boy8 #b4 ,what are the things that a boy enjoys in his home8 #c4 ,in what way does city life interfere with the natural development of the child8 #d4 ,what are some of the natural expressions of religion for a boy8 #e4 ,how early should the sex instruction begin8 #f4 ,what does a father owe to the boy1 and what are the best methods of meeting the duty8 #g4 ,what are the normal activities for girls in the home8 #h4 ,what are their especial needs8 ,,footnotes3 #ce ,a good brief book on the problem of the adolescent is ,e4,t4 ,swift1 ,youth and the ,race2 another1 from the school point of view1 is ,irving ,king1 ,the ,high-,school ,age1 which has much material of great value to parents4 #cf ,on the various activities of boys see ,w4,a4 ,mc,keever1 ,training the ,boy4 #cg ,see the notable report by ,breckinridge and ,abbott1 ,the ,delinquent ,child and the ,home4 #ch ,on the gregarious instincts see ,j4,a4 ,puffer1 ,the ,boy and ,his ,gang4 #ci ,see the books on manual work given in chap4 vii1 ,directed ,activity4 #dj ,on the religious life of the boy in relation to society and the church see ,allan ,hoben1 ,the ,minister and the ,boy1 and the author's treatment of boys and the ,sunday school in ,efficiency in the ,sunday ,school1 chap4 xiv2 also ,j4 ,alexander et al41 ,training the ,boy1 a symposium4 #da ,on the attitude of reverence in this question read ,dr4 ,cabot's fine essay1 ,the ,christian ,approach to ,social ,morality4 #db ,the works of ,dr4 ,w4,s4 ,hall1 ,from ,boyhood to ,manhood1 for parents' guidance with boys of thirteen to eighteen2 ,e4 ,lyttleton1 ,training of the ,young in ,laws of ,sex1 is excellent for fathers2 ,reproduction and ,sexual ,hygiene is a text for older youth to be recommended2 also1 for reading1 ,n4,e4 ,richardson1 ,sex ,culture ,talks1 ,d4,s4 ,jordan1 ,the ,strength of ,being ,clean4 #dc ,for further studies of the problem of the boy parents would do well to read3 ,building ,boyhood1 a symposium2 ,w4,a4 ,mc,keever1 ,training the ,boy2 ,w4,b4 ,forbush1 ,the ,coming ,generation2 ,w4,d4 ,hyde1 ,the ,quest of the ,best4 #dd ,on activities see ,w4,a4 ,mc,keever1 ,training the ,girl4 #de ,on the problem with young children see ,m4 ,morley1 ,the ,renewal of ,life2 in connection with older girls see ,k4,h4 ,wayne1 ,building ,your ,girl4 ,,chapter ,,xvi ,,the ,,needs ,,of ,,youth ,families are for the spiritual development of youth as well as of childhood4 ,the home is for the young people as well as for the younger ones4 ,but the very period when they slip from church school is also the period when they are often lost to the real life of the family4 ,in some measure this is due to the natural development of the social life4 ,the youths go out to work1 move forward into enlarging social groups which demand more of their free time4 ,they are learning the life of the larger world of which they are now a part4 #a4 ,,the ,,school ,,of ,,youth ,but the family is still the home of these young people2 normally it is still the most vital educational influence for them4 ,yet there is no problem more baffling than that of family ministry for1 and leadership of1 the higher life of youth4 ,it is a short-measure interpretation of the home which thinks of it as only for young children and old folks4 ,the young men and women from sixteen to twenty and over still need training and direction2 they need close touch with other lives in affection and in an ideal atmosphere4 ,in a few years they1 too1 will be home-makers1 and here in the home they are very directly learning the art of family life4 ,for youth there are few effective schools1 outside the home1 other than the streets and the places of commercialized amusement4 ,even where the other agencies of training are used1 such as college1 classes1 and associations 7such as the ,y4,m4,c4,a4 and the ,y4,w4,c4,a471 life1 at that period1 needs the restraints on selfishness that come from family life1 the refining and socializing power of the family group4 #b4 ,,special ,,needs ,,of ,,youth ,what are the special needs of youth upon which the family may base a reasonable program for their higher needs8 ,first1 the need of sound physical health4 ,this is a period of physical adjustment4 ,rapid bodily growth is nearly or quite at an end2 new functions are asserting themselves4 ,the new demands for directed activity may1 under the ambitious impulses of youth1 make undue drafts on the energies4 ,the apparent moodiness that at times characterizes this period may be due to poor health4 ,the moral strain of the period will need sound muscles and good health4 ,parents who would sit up all night--perhaps involuntarily--when the baby has the colic treat with indifference sickness in youth and too readily assume that the young man or the young woman will outgrow these physical ills4 ,but bodily maladjustment or incapacity has most serious character effects4 ,to live the right life and render high service one needs to be a whole person1 with opportunity to give undivided attention and undiminished powers to the struggle of life4 ,secondly1 this is peculiarly the period of the joy of friendships4 ,the social nature must have its food4 ,this young man has discovered that the world consists of something besides things2 it is full of people4 ,he is just learning that they are all persons like himself4 ,he enters the era of conscious personal relationships4 ,he would explore the realm of personality4 ,he touches great heights of happiness as other lives are opened to him4 ,it is all new and wonderful1 this realm of personality1 with its aspects of feeling1 thinking1 willing1 and longing4 #c4 ,,maintaining ,,friendship ,,with ,,youth ,do parents know how hungry their older children are for their friendship8 ,they will never tell us1 for this world is too new and strange for facile description2 they are always bashful about their hunger for persons until they find the same hunger and joy in us4 ,we imagine that they are indifferent to us2 the trouble is we are hidden from them4 ,we seldom give them a chance to talk as friend to friend1 not about trifling things1 but about life itself and what it means4 ,perhaps at no point do parents exhibit less ability for sympathetic reconstruction and interpretation of their own lives than here4 ,they recall the pleasures of childhood and provide those pleasures for the children4 ,why not recall the hunger of eighteen years of age and give these youths the very bread of our own inner selves8 ,or do we1 when they ask this bread1 give them the stone of mere provision for their physical needs or the scorpion of careless indulgence in things that debase the tastes8 ,one perplexing phenomenon must not be overlooked3 it will often happen that young people pass through a period of what appears to be parental aversion4 ,there will sometimes seem to be suspicion1 violent opposition1 and even hatred of parents4 ,this is no occasion for despair4 ,it is a stage of development4 ,it is due to the attempt of a will now realizing its freedom under social conditions to adapt itself to the will that has hitherto directed it4 ,to some degree the sex consciousness1 which leads to viewing the parents in a new light1 may enter in4 ,it may be easily made permanent1 however1 if parents do not do two things3 first1 adjust themselves and their methods to the new social freedom of the youth1 and1 secondly1 fling open the doors into their true selves now fully understandable by these men and women4 ,but the family life must make provision for the wider friendships of youth4 ,somewhere this insatiable appetite for the reality of lives will feed4 ,groups of friends your young man and woman will find somewhere4 ,if they cannot bring them into your home they will go elsewhere4 ,you can scarce pay any price too high for the opportunity that comes when they are perfectly free to have their friends with them and with you1 when home becomes the natural place of the social meetings of youth4 ,if you are afraid of the wear on the furniture you may keep your furniture1 but you will lose a life or lives4 ,here is the opportunity of the home to enter a wider ministry1 to be a place of the joy of friendships to many lives4 #d4 ,,at ,,the ,,door ,,of ,a ,,new ,,world ,as through friendships the youth enters and explores this wonderful realm of personality he will find some persons more wonderful than others4 ,those instincts of which he is largely unconscious will impel him to make a selection4 ,the same law is operative with the young woman4 ,mating is normally always first on the higher levels of personalities2 it first calls itself friendship1 nor does it think farther4 ,but father and mother1 if they have the least spiritual vision1 stand in awe as they see their children taking their first evident steps toward home-making4 ,what an opportunity is theirs6 ,yet here1 as the home faces its duty toward a family yet to be1 is just where some of the most serious mistakes are made4 ,this is no time for teasing and jesting1 still less for mocking ridicule4 ,if you treat this essentially sacred step as a joke it will not be strange if the young people follow suit and take marriage as a yet larger joke4 ,the home is the place where the home is treated most irreverently4 ,of course one must not take too seriously those calf courtships1 prematurely fostered by boys and girls1 under the pressure of the high-school tendency to anticipate all of life's riper experiences4 ,but even here jesting and teasing will only tend to confirm and make permanent what would be but a temporary aberration4 ,in that case either silence or kindly1 simple advice will help most of all4 ,to young people who think at all courtship has its times of vision1 when they stand trembling before the unknown future1 when they1 with youth's idealism1 make high vows and stand on high places4 ,give them at least the opportunity to enter your inmost self1 to find there all the light you can give them and all the memory of your own joys and hopes4 ,make them feel1 though you need not say it1 that they are at the threshold of a temple4 ,if to you this is an affair of the spirit it will be a matter of religion to them4 ,approached in such a temper1 many of the practical problems of courtship settle themselves4 ,take the case of the young man at home4 ,if he knows that you think with him of the high meaning of this experience he will not hesitate to bring the young woman to the home4 ,she will feel your attitude4 ,upon this level questions of times and seasons1 hours in the parlor1 and all the matters of their relations will settle themselves4 ,if you treat courtship as a matter of the spirit he will do just what he most of all wants to do1 treat this woman who is to be his mate as a person1 a spirit1 with reverence and love that lifts itself above lust4 ,this is the only ground upon which you can appeal to either in matters of conduct at this time4 ,the conventions of society they will despise2 but the inner law speaks to them when the outer letter has no meaning4 #e4 ,,the ,,social ,,life ,we must expect our children to go out into their larger world4 ,the beginning of adolescence is the normal time of their social awakening1 their conversion from a nature that turns in upon itself to one that moves out into a world of persons4 ,for them1 now1 the home group ought to be seen as a society as well as a family1 as the social group gathering about a definite ideal and mission into which they should delight to project themselves4 ,the appeal of religion is peculiarly vivid just now1 for it involves a recognition of one's self as a person with the power of personal choices and with the opportunity to find association with other persons4 ,the family must aid its young people to see the opportunity which the church offers for ideal social relationships which direct themselves to high and attractive service4 #f4 ,,amusements ,what should the family do about the question of the amusements of young people8 ,healthy young persons must have recreation4 ,they will seek it on its highest level first and find their way down the facile descent of commercialized amusements only as the higher opportunities are denied them4 ,they would always rather play than be played to2 they would rather1 where early labor has not sapped vitality1 play outdoors than sit in a fetid atmosphere watching tawdry spectacles4 ,but play1 the idealization of life's experiences1 they will find somewhere4 ,to this need the home must minister by the provision of space1 time1 opportunity1 and the means of play4 ,if through either sloth1 selfishness1 preoccupation1 or a mistaken idea of an empty innocence of life you make recreation and social intercourse impossible in the family1 the young people will find it on the street or in the crowd4 ,in the family that plans for recreation and provides facilities and time for young people to play the problem is a minor one4 ,but young people will naturally desire to project themselves into the social amusements of the larger groups4 ,then we ought to know what those amusements are2 we must be able to advise1 from actual knowledge1 not from hearsay or prejudice1 as to the healthful and worth while4 ,the home must insist on the provision in the community for the safe socialization of amusements4 ,the thousands of young girls in the cities1 who tramp the pavements down to dance halls1 primarily are only seeking the satisfaction of a normal craving2 and they1 on their way to the dance halls1 pass the splendid plants of the schools and the churches1 standing dark and idle4 ,families must develop a public opinion that will demand1 for the sake of their young people1 a provision for amusement and recreation that1 instead of poisoning the life1 shall strengthen1 dignify1 and elevate it4 ,if the demand for clean drinking-water is a proper one1 is the demand for healthful food for the life of ideals less so8 ,there can be no doubt of the attitude of any home with the least conscience for character toward all forms of public amusements in which young people are herded promiscuously for the mere purpose of killing time in trivialities4 ,the white cities with their glittering lights and baubles are often moral plague colonies4 ,the amusements debase the intellect1 blunt the moral sensibilities1 and appeal to the baser passions4 ,they are the low-water mark1 we may hope1 of commercialized amusement4 ,but they remind us that young people demand company and change from the monotony of the day's toil4 ,they ask us as to the provision we are making for young people and challenge us to use their inclinations for good4 ,but besides these shows there are many dignified forms of social recreation4 ,good music is to be heard and good plays are to be seen4 ,the theater1 whether of the regular drama or of the motion-picture type1 offers a perplexing problem1 principally because1 in the first place1 ,american people have been too busy conquering a new soil and making a living to give careful thought to the social side of aesthetics and recreation1 and1 secondly1 because the ministry of social recreation has fallen almost entirely under the dominance of the same trend2 it has been thoroughly commercialized4 ,we cannot cut the puzzling knot by simply prohibiting all forms of public theatrical entertainment4 ,for one reason1 these forms shade off imperceptibly from the church service to the extremes of the vaudeville4 ,but the simple fact is that we no longer indiscriminately class all theaters as baneful and immoral2 we are coming to see their potentialities for good4 ,if the young will go1 as they will--and ought--to the theater1 and if the theater can lift their ideals1 parents would do well to guide their children in this matter and to enlist the aid of the theater4 ,it is worth while to come to a sympathetic understanding of the place of the drama and the opera1 to see what they have meant in the education of the race and what is the significance1 to us1 of the fact of the strong dramatic instinct in childhood4 ,naturally the subject can only be mentioned here and the suggestion be offered that parents take time to cultivate an appreciation of good orchestral and concert music and of the drama4 ,the social life will find outlet in other directions4 ,young people need our aid to find social groups which will inspire and develop them1 especially groups that are serviceful4 #g4 ,,the ,,call ,,to ,,service ,this is the period when ideals begin to give direction to the hitherto undirected activity of childhood and youth4 ,young people are idealists4 ,they see no height too giddy1 no task too hard1 no dream too roseate1 and no hope unattainable4 ,if the times are out of joint they believe they were born to set them right4 ,whatever is wrong or imperfect they would take a hand in setting it right4 ,we know we felt that way1 but we are loath to believe our children also cherish their high hopes4 ,and so the tendency of the adult is to treat with cynicism the dreams of youth4 ,often we sedulously endeavor to pervert him to our blas view of the world2 we would have him believe it is a fated heap of cinders instead of an almost new thing to be formed and made perfect4 ,in the home those ideals must be nourished and guided4 ,see that at hand there are the songs and essays of the idealists4 ,give them ,emerson and forget your ,nietzsche4 ,renew your own youth4 ,get some of ,isaiah's passion and let it breathe its fervor on them4 ,feed by poem1 song1 story1 essay1 and conversation the life of ideals4 ,stop long enough to see the life that like an engine with steam up is surely going somewhere and help it to find an engineer4 ,we call this the period of sowing wild oats4 ,wild oats are simply energies invested in the wrong places4 ,the dynamic of youth must go somewhere and do something4 ,fundamentally it would rather go to the good than the bad4 ,we know that this was true of us at that time2 why should we assume less of others8 ,hold to your faith in youth4 ,fathers who with open eyes and active minds--not with sleepy fatalism--believe in their boys1 have boys who believe in them4 ,they wait for leadership4 ,if you have dropped into the easy slippers of indifference to social reform and other types of ideal service1 get back into the fight again beside this new man of yours4 ,they wait for friendship in this matter of their ideals and their service4 ,at any cost keep open house of the heart4 ,they wait for a life-task4 ,this is the period of vocational choice4 ,it will make a tremendous difference to this life whether his work shall be merely a matter of making a living or shall be his chance to invest life in accordance with his new ideals4 ,shall he go out to be merely one of the many wage-earners or salary-winners to whom life is a great orange from which he will get all the juice if he can1 regardless of who else goes thirsty8 ,or shall he see an occupation as his chance to pay back to today and tomorrow that which he owes to yesterday8 as his chance to give the world himself8 ,he need not be a minister or a missionary to make his life a ministry2 he will find life1 he will be a religious person in no other way than as his dominating motive shall be to find the fulness of life in order to have a full life to give to ,god's world4 ,the answer will depend on what life means to you1 how you are interpreting it1 and how you aid him in thinking of it and making his high choice4 ,you will have abundant opportunity to show what it is to you--as you have been doing all along--by your daily attitude2 you will have abundant opportunity to talk it all over1 for he will certainly discuss his trade or profession with you4 ,the family must give to the life of the new day makers of families to whom life means a chance to realize the ,god-vision of the world4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,h4,c4 ,king1 ,personal and ,ideal ,elements in ,education1 pp4 #aje-bg4 ,macmillan1 #a4ej4 ,e4,d4 ,starbuck1 ,the ,psychology of ,religion1 chaps41 xvi-xxi4 ,scribner1 #a4ej4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading #a4 ,,on ,,youth ,c4,r4 ,brown1 ,the ,young ,man's ,affairs4 ,crowell1 #a4jj4 ,wayne1 ,building the ,young ,man4 ,mc,clurg1 #j4ej4 ,swift1 ,youth and the ,race4 ,scribner1 #a4ej4 ,wilson1 ,making the ,most of ,ourselves4 ,mc,clurg1 #a4jj4 #b4 ,,on ,,recreations ,l4,c4 ,lillie1 ,the ,story of ,music and the ,musicians4 ,harper1 #j4fj4 ,gustav ,kobbe1 ,how to ,appreciate ,music4 ,moffat1 #a4ej4 ,p4 ,chubb1 ,festivals and ,plays4 ,harper1 #b4jj4 ,dramatics in the ,home1 ,children in the ,theater1 ,problems of ,dramatic ,plays1 monographs published by the ,american ,institute of ,child ,life4 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,l4,h4 ,gulick1 ,popular ,recreation and ,public ,morality4 ,american ,unitarian ,association4 ,free4 ,m4 ,fowler1 ,morality of ,social ,pleasures4 ,longmans1 #a4jj4 ,addams1 ,the ,spirit of ,youth and the ,city ,streets4 ,macmillan1 #a4be4 ,the moving-picture or cinema presents a problem to parents2 see ,herbert ,a4 ,jump1 ,the ,religious ,possibilities of the ,motion ,picture 7a pamphlet7 and ,vaudeville and ,moving ,pictures1 a report of an investigation in ,portland1 ,ore4 ,reed ,college ,record1 ,no4 #af4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what are the reasons why young people leave home8 #b4 ,where do the young men and young women whom you know spend their evenings8 ,why is this the case8 #c4 ,mention the special needs of young people in the family4 #d4 ,what are the difficulties in maintaining the friendship of our young people8 #e4 ,have you ever seen evidences of the phase mentioned as aversion to parents8 #f4 ,what are some common mistakes of treating the subject of courtship8 #g4 ,what are the special social needs of young people8 #h4 ,what is the religious significance of the period of social awakening8 #i4 ,what are the special dangerous tendencies in public amusements8 #aj4 ,how does the social instinct express itself in social service8 #aa4 ,what of the relation of wild oats to directed work8 #ab4 ,what may be done for vocational direction in the family8 ,,chapter ,,xvii ,,the ,,family ,,and ,,the ,,church ,if the family is engaged in the development of religious character through its life and organization1 it ought somehow to find very close relations with the other great social institution engaged in precisely the same work1 the church4 ,both churches and homes are agencies of religious education4 ,in a state which separates the ecclesiastical and the civil functions1 where freedom of conscience is fully maintained1 these two are the only religious agencies engaged in education4 ,as the family is the child's first society1 so the local church should be the child's second1 larger1 wider society4 ,the home constitutes the first social organization for life1 the one in which growing lives prepare for the wider social living4 ,then should come the next forms of social organization1 the school and the church1 each grouping lives together and preparing them1 by actual living1 for wider circles of life4 #a4 ,,relations ,,of ,,church ,,and ,,home ,many of the perplexing problems which arise in the family1 as an institution1 in respect to its relations to the church1 and as to the developing relations of children to the church1 would be largely solved if we could get an understanding of the fundamental relations of these two institutions4 ,the institutional difficulties occur because these relations appear to be competitive4 ,here is the family with its interests in bread-winning1 comforts1 recreations1 and pleasures1 and on the opposite side1 making apparently competing claims for money1 time1 interest1 and service1 stands the church4 ,that is the picture unconsciously forming in many minds4 ,there is more or less feeling that money given to the church is taken from the family and impoverishes it to that degree1 that time given to the church is grudgingly spared from the pleasures of the home1 that it is always a moot question which of the two institutions shall win in the conflict of interests4 ,but the family must take for granted the church as its next of kin4 ,the home must not by its attitude and conversation assume that the problems of the relationship of children to the church arise largely from the opposite concept1 as though these were rival institutions4 ,we carelessly think of the children as those who1 now belonging to us1 are to be persuaded to give their allegiance to another institution1 the interests of which are in a different sphere4 ,we think of the church as an independent thing and therefore feel quite free to discuss its merits or shortcomings and to criticize it if it fails to meet our standards1 just as we would criticize the baker for soggy or short-weight bread2 to our minds1 the church is something set off in society1 separate from the homes1 as much so as the schools or the library or a fraternal lodge4 ,this thought of the church as a separate something1 having an existence independent of ourselves and our families1 leads us farther astray and makes yet more difficult the development of right relations between the church and the children4 ,if the church is a thing apart we can analyze its imperfections as we might stand and ridicule a regiment of raw recruits4 ,it marches by while we stand on the curb4 ,but here1 surely1 is one of the simplest and most easily forgotten truisms3 the church is no more than our own selves associated for certain purposes4 ,if the church fails in an adequate ministry for children1 shall we condemn it as we would a bridge that failed to carry a reasonable load8 ,we do but condemn ourselves4 ,if my church is not fit to send my children to1 then ,i must help to make it fit4 ,before falling back on the lazy man's salve of caustic ridicule1 before taking the seat of the scornful1 before setting in the child's mind an aversion to this institution1 based on my opinion1 let me be sure ,i have done all that lies in my power to better it4 ,true1 ,i am only one2 but surely1 where so many family tables are each ,sunday devoted to finding fault with the church and its services1 ,i can find many others who will aid in at least stimulating a sense of personal responsibility for any incompleteness in the church4 ,the family cannot afford to take the attitude of hostile criticism1 for it is thus fighting its first and most natural ally1 the one other institution engaged in its own special work4 ,if the forces for spiritual character be divided1 how easily do the opposing forces enter in and occupy6 ,the family needs the support of the wider public opinion of the church1 insisting on the supremacy of righteousness4 ,the family needs the co-operation of the church in its task of developing religious lives4 ,the family needs the power of this larger social body controlling social conditions and making them contributory to character purposes4 ,the family needs the stimulus which a larger group can give to children and young people4 ,this does not mean that we must never criticize the church4 ,it is not set off in a niche protected from the acid of secular tongues and minds4 ,ministers of the gospel are unduly resentful of criticism1 perhaps because1 after they leave the seminary1 no one has a fair opportunity to controvert their publicly stated opinions4 ,but the church needs the cleansing powers of kindly1 wise1 creative criticism4 ,anyone can find fault1 but he is wise who can show us a better way4 ,this church is the family's ally2 it is our business to aid her to greater effectiveness4 ,the new church for our own day awaits the services of the men of today4 ,the purpose of the family is the basis of alliance with the church4 ,as in every other relation and purpose of the home1 so here3 the dominant factor is the conscious function of the home and family4 ,if the home is really a religious institution it will seek natural alliance with all other truly religious institutions4 ,ideally1 what is a church but a group of families associated for religious purposes8 ,is not the church simply a number of families co-operating in the ideal purposes of each family1 the development of the lives of religious persons and the control of social conditions for the sake of that purpose8 ,without entering into disputation as to the relationship of little children to the church1 is there not just this relation to the human society called the church1 that it is a grouping of families for the purpose of the divine family8 #b4 ,,the ,,family ,,ideal ,,in ,,the ,,church ,would there be any question as to the naturalness of the relation of our children to the church if the family ideal so controlled our thinking as to saturate theirs8 ,is not this the present need1 that both family and church shall conceive the latter in family terms8 ,by this is meant1 not simply that we shall think of what is called a family church1 a church into which we succeed in projecting our families in a fair degree of integrity1 but that we shall think of the organization and mission of the church in terms of family life and of the ideal of the divine family4 ,keeping in mind the general definition already given of a family as persons associated for the development of spiritual persons1 let us hold the church to that same ideal2 the lives of persons associated in the broadest fellowship that includes both ,god and man for the purposes of spiritual personality4 ,the church then should be the expression of that family of which ,jesus often spoke1 the family that calls ,god ,father and man brother4 ,closer and more helpful relations between family and church follow where the principles of the family prevail in the latter4 ,the family is an ideal democracy because it exists primarily for persons4 ,it places the value of persons first of all4 ,so with the true church2 it will exist to grow lives to spiritual fulness1 and to this end all buildings1 adornments1 exercises1 teachings1 and organizations will be but as tools1 as means serving that purpose4 ,as the family sees its house1 table1 and activities designed to personal ends1 so will the church4 ,in an institution existing to grow lives1 the great principle of democracy and of the family will prevail1 viz41 that to the least we owe the most4 ,just as the home gives its best to the little child1 so will the church place the child in the midst4 ,just as the home exists for the child and thus holds to itself all other lives1 so will the church some day exist for the little ones and so hold and use all other lives4 ,the prime difficulty of relating the children in our families to the average church lies in the fact that they are children1 while the church is an adult institution4 ,its buildings are designed for adults--save in rare and happy exceptions2#df its services are designed for adults2 it has a more or less extraneous institution called a school for the children4 ,the church spends its money for adults2 it compasses sea and land to make one proselyte and coerce him back in old age1 and allows the many that already as children are its own to drift away4 ,it often fails to see that if it is to grow lives it must grow them in the growing period4 ,there still remain many churches that must be converted from the selfishness of adult ministry and entertainment to self-giving service for the development of spiritual lives and1 especially1 for the development of such lives through childhood and youth4 ,they must hear again the ,master's voice regarding these little ones1 regarding the significance of the child4 ,and all must be loyal to his picture of his ,kingdom as a family and must1 therefore1 do what all true families do1 become child-centric4 ,a church in which children occupy the same place that they hold in an ideal family will have no difficulty in finding a place for the children4 ,it will be a natural and unnoticed transition from the family life in the home to the family life in the church4 #c4 ,a ,,place ,,for ,,all ,,in ,,the ,,church ,the family may help directly toward the realization of this ideal by an insistence on the family conception and the family program in the church4 ,bring the children with you to the church and seek to find there a place for each as natural as the place he occupies in the home4 ,if the church makes no such provision1 if it has no place for children1 in the name of our wider spiritual family relationships we must demand it4 ,let the voice of the family be heard insisting on suitable buildings and specially designed worship for child-life--suitable forms of service and activity4 ,let the thought that goes to furnish these in the home be carried over to provide them in the church4 ,parents may help their children to find right relations with the church by their attitude toward it as the larger family group4 ,to think and act toward this institution as our home1 the wider home of the families1 is to establish similar habits of thought in children4 ,such a concept is not always easy to maintain2 the church includes many of different habits of thought from ourselves1 divergent tastes and habits of general life4 ,here one must exercise the family principle of responsibility toward the weaker and immature4 ,this family1 the church1 just like our own family1 exists1 not to minister to our tastes1 but that we may all minister to others4 ,the principal service which the family may render to the church is1 then1 to foster an interpretation and view of the latter which will relate it more closely to the home and will make it evidently natural for child-life to move out into this wider social organization for religious culture and service4 ,surely this should be the attitude toward membership in the church1 whether that membership begins theoretically in infancy or in maturer years2 the child is trained to see the church as his normal society1 the group into which he naturally moves and in which he finds his opportunity for fellowship and service4 ,the family may well hold that relationship steadily before its members4 ,in childhood the child is in the church in the fellowship of those who learn4 ,the ,sunday school is the spiritual family in groups discovering the way of the religious life and the art of its service4 ,the fellowship grows closer and the sense of unity deepens as the child's relationship passes over from the passive to the active1 from the involuntary to the voluntary--just as it does in the home--and develops1 as the child comes into social consciousness1 into a recognition of himself as belonging to a social organization for specific purposes4 #d4 ,,child ,,unity ,,with ,,the ,,church ,at some time every child of church-attending parents will want to know whether he belongs to the church4 ,one must be very careful here1 regardless of the ecclesiastical practice1 to show the child that he is essentially one with this body1 this religious family4 ,he may be too young to subscribe his name to its roll1 but he belongs at least to the full measure of unity appreciable by his mind4 ,he must not be permitted to think of himself as an outsider4 ,indeed1 no matter what our theology may hold1 every religious parent believes that his children belong to ,god4 ,do they not also belong to the church in at least the sense that the church is responsible for their spiritual welfare8 ,the sense of unity must be developed4 ,writing the child's name on the ,cradle ,roll of the church school may help4 ,assuming1 as he develops1 that he is a part of this spiritual family1 naturally expecting that he will have an increasing share in its life1 will help more4 ,parents who dedicate their children to ,god pass on to them the stimulus of that dedication4 ,a church service of dedication is likely to impress them with a feeling of unity with the church2 seeing other children so dedicated they know that a similar occasion occurred in their own early lives4 ,the forms of relationship must develop with the nature of the child4 ,the church needs not only a graded curriculum of instruction but a graded series of relationships by which children1 step by step1 come into closer conscious social unity1 each step determined by their developing needs and capacities4 ,it is easy to say that the responsibility lies with the church to provide these methods of attachment4 ,but the church we have been sketching is a congeries of families1 after all1 and it will do just what these families1 particularly the parents in them1 stimulate it to do4 #e4 ,,incidental ,,difficulties ,but what of those instances in which parents are convinced that the church does not furnish a normal and healthy atmosphere for the child's spiritual life8 ,there are churches where the ,sunday school is simply a training school in insubordination1 confusion1 and irreverence1 or where religion is so taught as to cultivate superstition and to lead eventually either to a painful intellectual reconstruction or to a barren denial of all faith4 ,there are churches of one type so devoted to the entertainment of adults1 to the ministry to the pride of the flesh and the lust of things1 that a child is likely to be trained to pious pride and greed1 or of another type1 in which religion is a matter of verbiage1 tradition1 and unethical subterfuge4 ,parents must be true to their responsibilities4 ,the family is the child's first religious institution4 ,fathers and mothers are not only the first and most potent quickeners and guides in the religious life1 but they are primarily responsible for the selection of all other stimuli to that life4 ,under the drag of our own indifference we must not withhold from the child the good he would get even from the church we do not particularly enjoy2 neither dare we1 for fear of criticism or ostracism1 force the child under influences which1 in the name of religion1 would chill and prevent his spiritual development1 would twist1 dwarf1 or distort it4 ,responsibility to the spiritual purpose of the family is far higher than any responsibility to a church4 ,the churches are ordered for the souls of men4 ,what shall we do in the family when the sermon is always tediously dull8 ,don't try to force children to go to sleep in church2 they will never get over the habit4 ,insist that there shall be a service suitable for them parallel to the adult service of worship4#dg ,next1 try to overcome the present popular obsession regarding the sermon4 ,the church is more than an oratory station4 ,the sermon is only one incident4 ,many criticisms of the sermon indicate that the critic measures the preacher by ability to entertain1 that he attends church to be entertained4 ,if that is essentially your attitude1 you cannot complain if your children are dissatisfied unless they too are entertained according to their childish appetites4 ,when the sermon is poor1 put it where it belongs proportionately and enlarge on the many good features of church fellowship and service4 ,in a word1 let the church be to the family that larger home where families live together their life of fellowship and service in the spirit and purpose of religion and where there is a natural place for everyone4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,h4,w4 ,hulbert1 ,the ,church and ,her ,children1 chaps4 i-v4 ,revell1 #a4jj4 ,h4,f4 ,cope1 ,efficiency in the ,sunday ,school1 chaps4 xiv-xvi4 ,doran1 #a4jj4 ,george ,hodges1 ,training of ,children in ,religion1 chap4 xiv4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,a4 ,hoben1 ,the ,minister and the ,boy4 ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press1 #a4jj4 ,e4,c4 ,foster1 ,the ,boy and the ,church4 ,sunday ,school ,times ,co41 #j4ge4 ,g4,a4 ,coe1 ,education in ,religion and ,morals1 ,part ,,ii4 ,revell1 #a4ce4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what are the special common interests of church and family8 #b4 ,what are the fundamental relationships of the two8 #c4 ,what conception of the church ought to be fostered in the children's minds8 #d4 ,when is criticism of the church unwise8 #e4 ,what changes might be made in church life for the sake of the children8 #f4 ,what changes would bring the church and the home closer together8 #g4 ,what should be the children's conception of unity with the church8 #h4 ,should children attend1 in family groups1 the church service of worship8 #i4 ,does the plan of a short service for children meet the need8 ,,footnotes3 #df ,see a pamphlet on ,church ,school ,buildings 7free7 published by the ,religious ,education ,association2 also ,h4,f4 ,evans1 ,the ,sunday-,school ,building and ,its ,equipment4 #dg ,see the author's suggestion for the ,sunday school in ,efficiency in the ,sunday ,school1 chap4 xv4 ,,chapter ,,xviii ,,children ,,and ,,the ,,school ,wise parents will know the character of the influences affecting their children at all times4 ,at no time can their responsibility be delegated to others4 ,there is a tendency to think that when children go to school the family has a release from responsibility4 ,but the school is simply the community--the group of families--syndicating its efforts for the formal training of the young4 ,every family ought to know what the community is doing with its children4 ,the school belongs to all2 it is not the property of a board1 nor a private machine belonging to the teaching force2 it belongs to us and we owe a social duty as well as a family obligation to understand its work and its influence on the children4 ,parents ought to visit the school4 ,wise principals and teachers will welcome them1 setting times when visits can best be made4 ,the visitors come1 not as critics1 but as citizens and parents4 ,the principal benefits will be an acquaintance with the teachers of our children and a better understanding of the conditions under which the children work for the greater part of the day4 ,by far the larger number of teachers most earnestly desire character results from their work4 ,it will help them to know that we are interested in what they are doing4 #a4 ,,home ,,and ,,school ,,co-,,operation ,parents and teachers1 both desiring spiritual results1 can find means of co-operation4 ,parent-teacher clubs and associations have done much to bring the home and the school together4 ,meeting regularly in the evening1 so that fathers1 too1 can attend1 gives opportunity to work out a common understanding to raise the spiritual aims of the school1 and to discover means by which the families may aid in securing better conditions for school work4 ,one of the most important considerations relates to the moral effect of the school life and environment4 ,we are committed in this country to the principle that the public school cannot teach religion1 but this by no means relieves it of responsibility for moral character4 ,the family needs this ally4 ,children expect instruction in the school and they feel keenly the power of its ideals and the standards established by its methods and requirements4 ,the family and the school greatly need to co-ordinate their efforts here to the end that there may be under way in both an orderly program for the moral training of children4 #b4 ,,the ,,school ,,teaching ,,parents ,the school may help the home if arrangements are made for parents to meet regularly and receive instruction in those forms of moral training which can best be given at home4 ,this is one method of solving the vexed question of sex instruction4 ,many hesitate as to the wisdom of such instruction in schools2 but no one doubts that it ought to be and could be given in families but for the fact that parents are both ignorant of what to tell and indifferent to the matter4 ,it may be that some day the state will not only say that the child must go to school1 but also that every parent intrusted with children must either prove ability to train and instruct in these and other matters or go to school to obtain the necessary training4 ,the state would not go beyond its province if it required ignorant parents--and that means most of us in matters of moral training--to go to school and learn our business4 ,and without waiting for such compulsion the school may now offer opportunity for all parents to obtain the desired information4 ,teachers are especially trained to an understanding of child-nature and to methods of pedagogy2 they are prepared to teach many things we ought to know2 why should not the family obtain the advantage of such expert knowledge8 ,the school would also be within its province if it undertook to stimulate the indifferent parents1 both rich and poor1 to an appreciation of the educational task and opportunity of the home4 ,each institution greatly needs the other4 ,the school reaches all the children of all the people2 might it not be made a larger means of helping all the parents of all the children to quickened moral responsibility and to greater educational efficiency8 #c4 ,,controlling ,,school ,,conditions ,the family ought to know the conditions at the school outside the recitation or working hours4 ,few parents have any conception of the power of the playground over moral character4 ,perhaps a smaller number realize how dangerous are some of the elements at work there4 ,play of itself is immensely valuable1 but play means playfellows1 and some of these are simply purveyors of indecency and moral contagion in conversation and act4 ,we are required to send our children to school2 we have a right to demand freedom from moral contagion4 ,do you know what goes on in secret places on the grounds8 ,do you know that the vilest ideas and phrases are current in pictures1 cards1 on scraps of paper1 and in handwriting on walls1 not only in the high schools1 but often among children of from six to twelve years of age8 ,this is too large a subject to be developed properly here4 ,it is one familiar to all wide-awake school men and women and ought to be equally so to the parents of children4 ,where the school combats this evil the home should intelligently aid2 where the school is indifferent the family dare not rest until either the indifference is quite dispelled or the indifferent dismissed4 ,do not expect to get the facts concerning these suggested conditions by inquiry among your children4 ,they are reticent1 naturally1 on such matters when talking with adults2 besides1 the sense of school honor holds them to silence4 ,if they tell you voluntarily1 you are happy in their free confidence4 ,do not betray it2 simply let it lead you to make further inquiry at the school from the authorities and stimulate you to insist that1 for the sake of the spiritual good of the young1 the school must furnish conditions of moral health4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,ella ,lyman ,cabot1 ,voluntary ,help to the ,schools1 chaps4 vii1 viii4 ,houghton ,mifflin ,co41 #j4fj4 ,w4,a4 ,baldwin1 ,the ,home and the ,public ,schools1 ,religious ,education1 ,february1 #aiab4 #j4fe4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,m4 ,sadler1 ,moral ,instruction and ,training in ,schools4 #b vols4 ,longmans4 ,john ,dewey1 ,the ,school and ,society4 ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press1 #a4jj4 ,smith1 ,all the ,children of ,all the ,people4 ,macmillan1 #a4ej4 ,g4,a4 ,coe1 ,virtue and the ,virtues1 ,religious ,education1 ,february1 #aiab4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what ought parents to know about public-school life8 #b4 ,in visiting a school what may the parent do to acquire information in the proper way8 #c4 ,how may the home co-operate with the school8 #d4 ,what degree of instruction in morals ought the school to give8 #e4 ,in what way does the school best help in moral training8 #f4 ,what do you know about the conditions on the playgrounds of your own school8 ,,chapter ,,xix ,,dealing ,,with ,,moral ,,crises ,moral crises arise in every family4 ,deeply as we may desire to maintain an even tenor of character-development1 in harmony and quietness1 occasions will bring either our own imperfections or those of our children--or of our neighbors' children--to a focus and throw them in high relief on the screen4 ,progress comes not alone in perpetual placidity4 ,when temper slips from control1 when angry passions rule1 when the spirit under discipline rebels1 when a course of petty wrongdoing comes to a head1 when secret sins are discovered1 and when we suddenly find ourselves confronted with a tragic problem in the higher life1 it is still important to remember that the crisis is just as truly a part of the educational process as is the orderly1 gradual method of development4 ,a moral crisis is an experience in which our acts are such1 or have such results1 that they are thrown out in a white light that reveals their inner meaning1 so that they are sharply discerned for their spiritual and character values4 ,then in that light courses of conduct have to be valued anew1 reconsidered1 and determined4 ,two courses are open in times of moral crisis in the family4 ,one is to bend our efforts to settle the situation1 to proceed on the policy of getting through with the crisis as quickly as possible1 to seek to remove the pain rather than to cure the ill4 ,the other is to regard the crisis as a revealer of truth1 to use it as a valuable opportunity1 one in which moral qualities of acts are so easily evident1 so keenly felt1 as to make it a time of spiritual quickening1 a chance for the best sort of training4 #a4 ,,the ,,promise ,,of ,,imperfection ,the perfect child is the one unborn2 shortly after his birth he begins to take after his father4 ,the perfect character does not exist in a child4 ,it is as unreasonable to expect it as it would be to look for the perfect tree in the sapling4 ,character comes by development2 it is not born full-blown4 ,childhood implies promise1 development4 ,therefore parents must not be surprised at evidences that their children are pretty much like their neighbors' children4 ,outside of the old-time ,sunday-school-library book the child who never lied1 lost his temper1 sulked1 or made a disturbance never existed and never will1 except in a psychopathic ward in some hospital4 ,could anything be sadder than the picture of the anemic1 pulseless automaton who is always good8 ,when parents speak of the natural depravity of their children1 they are commonly using terms they do not understand4 ,what they mean is the natural immaturity of their children1 a condition of imperfection in which they may rejoice1 as it shows the possibility of development4 ,the child is in the world to grow to the fulness of all his powers4 ,the powers of the higher life are to develop as truly as those which we call physical and mental4 ,the family is the great human culture-bed for the development of those powers1 their training-field and school4 ,does someone say1 concerning a little child1 ,but we thought he had the grace of ,god in his heart1 that he had been born again and would no more do wrong8 ,true1 he may be born again1 but there is a world of difference between being born and being grown up4 ,from one to the other1 in the realm of character1 is a long and tedious process1 with many a stumble1 many a fall1 many a hard knock1 and many a lesson to be learned4 ,every moral crisis is part of the struggle1 the experience and training that may make toward the matured life4 ,you have no more right to expect your child to be a mature ,christian than you had to expect him to be born six feet tall4 ,a moral crisis is a lesson4 ,the important consideration for the parent1 then1 is to see the wrongdoing of the child as an experience in his moral upward climb2 not as a fall alone1 but as part of the acquisition of the art of standing upright and walking forward4 ,dealing with such an occasion one may well say to himself or herself1 ,this is my chance to guide1 to make this experience a light that shines forward on the way for the child's weak feet and to strengthen him to walk in it4 ,for is it not true with us that practically all we really know has come by the organizing of our different experiences8 ,think whether it is so or not4 ,and is it not to be the same with the child8 ,we can study here only a few typical moral crises1 perhaps those that give greatest perplexity to parents4 ,they cannot be successfully met as isolated instances1 but must be seen as a part of the whole educational process4 ,those to whom the development of character is a reality will watch tendencies and train them before they focalize in crises4 #b4 ,,the ,,collision ,,of ,,wills ,parenthood presents tremendous moral strains2 it is rife with temptations4 ,it offers a little world for autocracy to vaunt itself4 ,the martinets command1 often totally blind to the changing nature of the subjects as they pass from the submissive to the rebellious4 ,one day the parents wake up to realize that they are not the only ones possessed of will4 ,when to your ,yes the child says ,no1 while you may not applaud1 you ought to rejoice2 you have discovered a will1 you have found developing in your child the central and essential quality of character4 ,forgiveness will be hard to find and recovery still more difficult if you make the mistake of attempting to crush that will4 ,the child needs it and you will need its co-operation4 ,the power to see the possibility of choice of action1 to know one's self as a choosing1 willing entity1 able to elect and follow one among many courses of action1 is a distinctive1 ,godlike quality4 ,the opposition of wills is like the birth of a new personality1 a new force thrown out into the world to meet and struggle and adjust itself with all other persons4 ,when the collision comes1 take a few long breaths before you move2 take time to think what it means4 ,keep your temper4 ,do not break before the other will by an exhibition of chagrin that your authority is defied4 ,from now on the basis of any real authority is being transformed from force and tradition to a moral plane4 ,therefore1 first1 be sure you are right in your direction or request4 ,you cannot afford to make the child think that authority is more important than justice1 that might makes right in the social order of the home4 ,if you do he will accept the lesson and practice it all his life4 ,remember the right has many elements4 ,there is the child's side to consider4 ,as soon as he can decide on courses of action his ideas of justice are developing4 ,to do him an injustice is to help make him an unjust man4 ,secondly1 help him to see the right4 ,this will involve sympathetic explanations of your reasons which you may have to give in the form of simple arguments or of a story1 perhaps from your own experience1 or by an appeal or reference to the wider knowledge of the older children4 ,it may be necessary to let him learn in the effective school of experience4 ,other means failing1 allow him to discover the pain and folly of his own way when it is wrong4 ,of course this does not apply if he is minded1 for instance1 to imbibe carbolic acid4 ,but even in such circumstances it would be better to prove his unwisdom by demonstration--as a drop of acid on a finger tip--than to let the issue rest on blind authority4 ,one such demonstration gives a new1 intelligible basis to your authority in other cases4 ,thirdly1 help him to will the right4 ,help him to feel that he must choose for himself1 to recognize the power of the will and the grave responsibilities of its use4 ,he is entering the realm of the freedom of the will4 ,every act of deliberate choice1 with your aid1 in a sense of the seriousness of choice1 goes to establish the character that does not drift1 is not dragged1 and will not go save with its whole selfhood of feeling1 knowing1 choosing1 and willing4 #c4 ,,anger ,an angry child is a child in rebellion4 ,rebellion is sometimes justifiable4 ,anger may be a virtue4 ,you would not take this force out of your child any more than you would take the temper out of a knife or a spring4 ,anger manifested vocally or muscularly is the child's form of protest4 ,but1 established as a habit of the life1 it is altogether unlovely4 ,who does not know grown-up people who seem to be inflexibly angry2 either they are in perpetual eruption or the fires smoulder so near the surface that a pin-prick sets them loose4 ,usually a study of their cases will show either that the attitude of angry opposition to everything in life has been established and fostered from infancy or that it was acquired in the adolescent period4 ,the angry1 antisocial person is most emphatically an irreligious person2 there can be no love of his brother man where that spirit is4 ,the home is the place where this ill can best be met and cured1 for it deals most directly with the infant1 and for the adolescent it is the best school of normal social living4 ,let no one think the angry demonstrations of little children are negligible or that they have nothing to do with the religious character of the child or the adult4 ,they are important for at least two reasons1 first1 as furnishing the angry one opportunity to acquire self-control1 to master his own spirit1 and1 secondly1 because they disturb the peace and interfere with the well-being of others4 ,it is possible to set up habits of anger in the cradle4 ,in the first instance the infant encountered opposition in the cradle and proceeded to conquer it by yelling1 and so1 day after day1 he found anger the only route to the satisfaction of his desires4 ,he grew to take all life in terms of a bitter struggle and every person became his natural enemy4 ,in the case of the adolescent it sometimes happens that a boy or a girl will make a very tardy passage through the normal experience of social aversion1 the time when they seem to suspect all other people1 to flee from social intercourse and to sulk1 to want to be off in a corner alone4 ,this is a normal phase of adolescent adjustment1 coming at thirteen or fourteen1 but it ought to pass quickly4 ,a few allow this period to become lengthened2 they fail to regain social pleasure and soon drift into habits of social enmity4 ,this may be due to scolding at this period1 or to a lack of healthful friendships4 #d4 ,,methods ,,of ,,dealing ,,with ,,anger ,it is evident that talking1 lecturing1 or arguing with the angry infant will not help the case4 ,he may feel the emotion of your anger but misses any shreds of your logic4 ,parents ought first to ask1 ,why is an infant angry8 ,with the infant1 with whom there are no pretensions or affections1 there is commonly a simple cause of his rebellion4 ,the baby yelling like an ,indian and looking like a boiled lobster is neither possessed of an evil spirit nor giving an exhibition of natural depravity2 he is lying on a pin1 wearing the shackles of faddish infant fashions1 or he is trying to tell you of disturbances in the department of the interior4 ,furnish physical relief at once and you put a period to the display of what you call temper2 try to subdue him by threats and you only discover that his lungs are stronger than your patience2 you yield at last and he has learned that temper properly displayed has its reward1 that the way to get what he wants is to upset the world with anger4 ,that is one of life's early lessons2 it is one of the first exercises in training character4 ,consider the future4 ,each family is a social unit1 a little world4 ,within this world are in miniature nearly all the struggles and experiences of the larger world of later life4 ,it is a world which prepares children for living by actually living4 ,the qualities that are needed in a world of men and women and affairs are developed here4 ,when young children exhibit anger parents must ask1 ,how would this quality1 under similar circumstances1 serve in the business of mature life8 ,anger is an essential quality of the good and forceful character4 ,somehow we have to learn to be angry and not sin4 ,anger is the emotional effect of extreme discontent and opposition4 ,for the stern fight against evil and wrong1 life needs this emotional reinforcement4 ,but it must be purified1 it must be controlled4 ,like the dynamic of steam1 it must be confined and guided4 ,love must free it from hatred2 self-control must guide it4 ,when children are angry1 help them to think out the causes for the feeling4 ,instead of denouncing or deriding them1 stop to analyze the situation for yourself4 ,it may be that they are entirely justified1 that not to be angry would be an evidence of weakness1 of base standards of conduct or conditions1 or of weak reactions to life's stimuli4 ,always help the child to see why he is angry4 ,perhaps the situation is one he may remedy himself4 ,is he angry because the top-string is tangled8 ,stay with him until he has learned that he can remove the cause of his own temper4 ,step by step1 dealing with each excitement of anger1 train him in self-control4 ,self-mastery is a matter of learning to direct and apply our own powers at will4 ,it is developed by habitual practice4 ,it is the largest general element in character4 ,the temper that smashes a toy is the temper that kills a human being when it opposes our will1 but it is the same temper that1 being controlled1 patiently sets the great ills of society right1 fights and works to remove gigantic wrongs and to build a better social order4 ,that patience which is self-control saves the immensely valuable dynamic of the emotions and harnesses them to ,godlike service4 ,and that patience is not learned at a single lesson1 not acquired in a miraculous moment2 it is learned in one little lesson after another1 in every act and all the daily discipline of home and school and street4 ,children must learn to qualify and govern temper by love in order to save it from hatred4 ,when the irritating object is a personal one the rights1 the well-being1 of that one must gain some consideration4 ,there will be but little feeling of altruism in children under thirteen2 we must not expect it2 but egoism is one way to an understanding of the rights1 the feelings1 and needs of others4 ,the child can put himself in the other's place4 ,he is capable of affection2 he loves and is willing to sacrifice for those he loves1 and when he is angry with them1 or with strangers1 he must be helped to think of them as persons1 as those he loves or may love4 ,he also can be aided to see the pain of hatred1 the misery of the life without friends1 the joy of friendships4 ,anger against persons is the opportunity for learning the joy of forgiveness and1 if the occasion warrants1 the dignity and courage of the apology4 ,the self-control1 consideration1 and social adjustment involved must be learned early in life4 ,it is part of that great lesson of the fine art of living with others4 ,little children must be habituated to acknowledging errors and acts of rudeness or temper with suitable forms of apology4 ,above all1 they must1 by habit1 learn how great is the victory of forgiveness4#dh ,i4 ,references for ,study ,the ,problem of ,temper4 ,pamphlet4 ,american ,institute of ,child ,life1 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,e4,p4 ,st4 ,john1 ,child ,nature and ,child ,nurture1 chap4 v4 ,pilgrim ,press1 #j4ej4 ,j4 ,sully1 ,children's ,ways1 chap4 x4 ,appleton1 #a4be4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,patterson ,du ,bois1 ,the ,culture of ,justice1 chaps4 i-v4 ,dodd1 ,mead ,co41 #j4ge4 ,e4,h4 ,abbott1 ,the ,training of ,parents4 ,houghton ,mifflin ,co41 #a4jj4 ,m4 ,wood-,allen1 ,making the ,best of ,our ,children4 #b vols4 ,mc,clurg1 #a4jj each4 ,h4,y4 ,campbell1 ,practical ,motherhood4 ,longmans1 #b4ej4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,what special opportunities are offered in the rise of moral crises8 #b4 ,do we tend to expect too high a development of character in children8 #c4 ,how early in life do we have manifestations of a conscious will8 #d4 ,what constitutes the importance of early crises of the will8 #e4 ,what are probably the causes when children habitually defy authority8 #f4 ,is anger always a purely mental condition8 #g4 ,what importance have the angry demonstrations of infants8 #h4 ,what is the relation of the control of temper to the rightly developed life8 ,,footnotes3 #dh ,see ,gow1 ,good ,morals and ,gentle ,manners1 chap4 viii4 ,,chapter ,,xx ,,dealing ,,with ,,moral ,,crises 7,continued7 #a4 ,,quarrels ,a child who never quarrels probably needs to be examined by a physician2 a child who is always quarreling equally needs the physician4 ,in the first there is a lack of sufficient energy so to move as to meet and realize some of life's oppositions2 in the other there is probably some underlying cause for nervous irritability4 ,it is perfectly natural for healthy people to differ2 in childhood's realm1 where the values and proportions of life are not clearly seen1 where social adjustments have not been acquired1 the differences in opinions1 as in possessions1 lead to the expression of feeling in sharp and emphatic terms4 ,rivalry and conflict are natural to the young animal4 ,children do not wilfully enter into conflicts any more than adults2 they are only less diplomatic in their language1 more direct1 and more likely to follow the word with attempts at force4 ,in few things do parents need more patience than in dealing with children's quarrels4 ,first1 seek to determine quietly the merits of the cause2 but do not attempt to pronounce a verdict4 ,it is seldom wise to act as judge unless you allow the children to act as a jury4 ,but ascertain whether the quarrel is an expression somewhere of anger against injustice1 wrong1 or evil in some form4 ,sometimes their quarrels have as much virtue as our crusades4 ,it is a sad mistake to quench the feeling of indignation against wrong or of hatred against evil4 ,a boy will need that emotional backing in his fights against the base and the foes of his kind4 ,while rejoicing in his feeling1 show him how to direct it1 train him to discriminate between hatred of wrong and bitterness toward the wrongdoer4 ,help him to see the good that comes from loving people1 no matter what they do4 ,our methods of dealing with a quarrel will do more to develop their sense of justice than all our decisions can4 ,be sure to get each one to state all the facts2 insist on some measure of calmness in the recital4 ,keep on sifting down the facts until by their own statements the quarrel is seen stripped of passion and standing clear in its own light4 ,usually that course1 when kindly pursued and followed with sympathy for the group1 with a saving sense of humor1 will result in the voluntary acknowledgment of wrong4 ,the boys--or girls--have for the first time seen their acts1 their words1 their course1 in a light without prejudice4 ,they are more ready to confess to being mistaken than are we when convinced against our wishes4 ,when no acknowledgment of wrong is proffered voluntarily1 we must still not offer a verdict4 ,put the case to the contestants and let them settle it4 ,listen1 as a bystander1 coming in only when absolutely necessary to insist on exact statements of fact4 ,that course should be excellent training in clear thinking1 in the duty of seeing the other man's side1 in the deliberation that saves from unwise accusations and the serious quarrels of later life4 ,teach children to think through their differences4 ,the perpetually petulant child1 bickering with all others1 should be taken to a physician4 ,get him right nervously1 physically1 first4 ,he is out of harmony with himself and so cannot find harmony with others4 ,when the condition of habitual bickering seems to afflict all the children in the family1 it cannot be settled by attributing it to a mysterious dispensation of natural depravity4 ,the probability is that the home life is without harmony and full of discord1 that the parents are themselves petulant and more anxious to assert their separate opinions than to find unity of action4 ,nothing is more effective to teach children peaceful living than to see it constantly before them in their parents4 ,a harmonious home seldom has quarrelsome children4 ,such harmony is a matter of organization and management of affairs as much as of our own attitude4 ,some children are educated to a life of quarrels by being trained in the family that spoils them4 ,the single child is at a great disadvantage2 he occupies the throne alone4 ,his home life becomes a mere series of spokes radiating from himself4 ,when he finds the world ordered otherwise1 he quarrels with it and tries to rearrange the spokes into a new1 self-centric social order4 ,whatever the number of children may be1 each one must learn to live with other lives1 to adjust himself to them4 ,neighboring social play and activities are the chance for this4 ,do not try to keep ,algernon in a glass case2 he needs the world in which he will have to live some day4 #b4 ,,fighting ,the best of men are likely to have a secret satisfaction in their boys' fights1 and the bravest of mothers will deplore them4 ,the fathers know how hard are the knocks that life is going to give2 the mothers hope that the boys can be saved from blows4 ,a man's life is often pretty much of a fight1 every day struggling in competition and rivalry2 we have not yet learned the lesson of co-operation1 and we still tend to think of business as a battlefield4 ,something in us calls for fighting2 we have to use the utmost strength at our command to fight the evil tendencies of our own hearts2 often we rejoice in life as a conflict4 ,it feels good to find causes worth fighting for4 ,if all this is true of the man1 it is not strange that the small boy1 scarce more than a young savage1 will find opportunities for conflict4 ,he is more dependent on the weapons of force than is his father4 ,he cannot cast out the enemy with a ballot1 nor with a sneer or biting sarcasm1 nor by some device or strategy of business or affairs4 ,he can only hit back4 ,taken altogether1 boys settle their differences as honestly at least as do men4 ,moreover1 children's fights are not as cruel as they seem to be2 even the bloodshed means little either of pain or of injury4 ,a boy may be badly banged up today and in full trim tomorrow2 it is quite different with the wounds bloodlessly inflicted by men in their conflicts4 ,does all this mean that boys should be encouraged to fight8 ,no2 but it does mean that when ,billy comes home with one eye apparently retired from business1 we must not scold him as though he were the first wanderer from ,eden4 ,that fight may have been precisely the same thing as a croquet game to his sister1 or any test of skill to his big brother1 or a business transaction to his father2 it was a mere contest of two healthy bodies at a time when the body was the outstanding fact of life4 ,the fight may give us our chance1 however1 to aid him to a sense of the greatness of life's conflict1 to a sense of the qualities that make the true fighter4 ,it may leave him open to the appeal of true heroism4 ,we must make light of the victory of brute strength1 just as we may make light of his wounds and scars1 and glorify the victory of the mind and will4 ,the boy who fights because he lacks control of temper needs careful training4 ,he gets a good deal of discipline on the playground and street1 but it is not always effective2 the beatings may only further undermine control4 ,but the lack of self-control will manifest itself in many ways and must be remedied at all points4 ,the discipline of daily living in the family must come into play here4 #c4 ,,self-,,control ,the matter of self-control is not separable into special features2 one cannot learn control under one set of moral circumstances without learning it for all4 ,the boy who strikes without thinking is simply one who acts without thinking4 ,he tends to throw away the brakes of the will4 ,the regain of control comes only through training at every point in deliberation of action4 ,probably there is no other point at which children so frequently and readily learn control as in the matter of speech4 ,the family where all speak at once1 where a babel of sounds leads to a rivalry of vocal organs1 is not only a nuisance to the neighbors1 it is a school of uncontrolled action to the children4 ,just to learn to wait1 even after the thought is formed into words1 until it shall be my turn or my opportunity to speak is a fine discipline of control4 ,to do that every day1 year after year1 tends to break up the hair-trigger process of action4 ,control is gained also by the acquisition of the habit of thought regarding general courses of action4 ,we can hardly expect meditation on the part of little children4 ,but those who are older1 those entering their teens1 may and should be able to think things out1 to plan out the day's actions1 to determine their own ways of conduct4 ,children who have the custom of quiet1 private prayer often develop ability to see their conduct in the calm of those moments4 ,they get a mental elevation over the day and its deeds4 #d4 ,,good ,,fights ,the evident danger of undue deliberation of action must be met by another cure of the personal-conflict spirit2 that is1 the substitution of games of rivalry and skill for the unorganized rivalry and game of fighting4 ,the transition from the bloody arena to the excitement of a game is very easy and natural4 ,but the game is the boy's great chance to learn life as a game to be played according to the rules4 ,all that the fight calls for--courage1 endurance1 skill1 quickness of action1 and grim persistence--comes out in a good game4 ,here is a suitable youthful realization of the fight that is worth waging4 ,our participation in the youths' games1 our appreciation of their points1 our joy in honestly won success1 is the best possible way to lead up to their taking life in terms of a good fight1 a grand game1 a real chance to call out the heroic qualities4 ,turn every fighting instinct into the good fight that will clarify and elevate them all4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,w4,l4 ,sheldon1 ,ethics in the ,home1 chaps4 xi1 xii1 xiii4 ,welch ,co41 #a4be4 ,e4,a4 ,abbott1 ,training of ,parents1 chap4 v4 ,houghton ,mifflin ,co41 #a4jj4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,ella ,lyman ,cabot1 ,every ,day ,ethics4 ,holt1 #a4be4 ,m4 ,wood-,allen1 ,making the ,best of ,our ,children4 #b vols4 ,mc,clurg1 #a4jj each4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,do all children quarrel8 ,should one punish for small quarrels8 #b4 ,what are the facts which ought to be ascertained regarding any quarrel8 #c4 ,what special opportunities do children's differences offer8 #d4 ,what are the causes of habitual petulance8 ,what are the dangers of this habit of mind8 #e4 ,is fighting necessarily wrong8 ,what part does it play in the lives of men8 #f4 ,what are the dangerous elements in boys' fights8 #g4 ,what special quality of character needs development in this connection8 #h4 ,what are the valuable possibilities in the fighting tendency8 ,,chapter ,,xxi ,,dealing ,,with ,,moral ,,crises 7,continued7 #a4 ,,lying ,parents are likely to be wilfully blind to the faults of their children4 ,but some faults cannot be ignored2 they must surely quicken the most indifferent parent to thought4 ,we suffer a shock when our own child appears as a wilful liar4 ,what shall ,i do when ,i catch the child in an outright lie8 ,surely he knows that is wrong and that he is wilfully doing the wrong6 ,first1 be sure whether he is lying4 ,lying means a purposeful intent to deceive by word of mouth or written word4 ,when ,charles ,dickens wrote ,oliver ,twist he described a burglary that never happened1 so far as he knew4 ,he intended the reader to feel that it was true4 ,was he lying8 ,no2 because he simply used his imagination to paint a scene which was part of a great lesson he desired to teach the ,english public4 ,even had he had no great moral purpose1 it would still not have been a lie1 just as we do not accuse the writer of even the most frivolous novel of lying4 ,he is simply creating1 or imitating1 in the field of imagination4 ,imagination is the child's native world4 ,when the little girl says1 ,my dolly is sick1 she is saying that which is not so1 but instead of reproving her for lying1 you prepare an imaginary pill for the doll4 ,many children's lies are simply elaborations of their doll- and plaything-imaginings4 ,when my little daughter told me1 and insisted upon it1 that she had seen seven bears1 of varied colors1 on the avenue1 should ,i have reproved her for lying8 ,was it not better to humor her fancy1 to draw it out1 to give it free play1 being careful gradually to let her know that ,i knew it was fancy8 ,i entered into the game with her and enjoyed it so long as we all understood it was only fancy4 ,it is a crime to crush a child's power of creating a world by imagination1 a fair world1 set in the midst of this world where things are imperfect1 jarring1 and disappointing1 a world in which everything is always just so4 ,but one must also carefully aid the child in distinguishing between the world of fancy and the world of fact4 ,this takes time and patience4 ,we must not rob the life of fancy nor must we allow the habits of freedom with ideas to pass over into habits of carelessly handling realities4 ,along with the development of fancy we must train the powers of exact observation and statement of facts4 ,the child who saw seven bears1 red1 green1 yellow1 etc41 must go to see real bears and must tell me exactly their colors and forms4 ,daily training in exactitude of statements of real facts is the best antidote for a fancy that has run out of its bounds4 ,it establishes a habit of precision in thinking which is the essence of truth-telling4 #b4 ,,protective ,,lying ,but there is another form of lying which is frequently met in some form4 ,it may be called protective lying4 ,ask the little fellow with the jam-smeared face1 ,have you been in the pantry8 and he is likely to do the same thing that nature does for the birds when she gives them a coat that makes it easier to hide from their enemies4 ,he valiantly answers ,no1 ,mother4 ,he would protect himself from your reproof4 ,there has been awakened before this the desire to seem good in your eyes and he desires your approbation most of all4 ,the moral struggle with him is very brief2 he does not yet distinguish between being good and seeming good2 if his negative answer will help him to seem good he will give it4 ,what shall we do8 ,first1 stop long enough to remember that appetites for jam speak louder than your verbal prohibitions4 ,the jam was there and you were not4 ,it can hardly be said that he deliberately chose to do a wrong2 he is still in the process of learning how to do things deliberately1 just as you still are1 for that matter4 ,consider whether your training of the anti-jam habit has been really conscientious and sufficient to establish the habit in any degree4 ,it were wiser to ask these things of yourself before putting the fateful question to him4 ,it would be better not to ask a small child that question4 ,it demands too much of him4 ,besides1 you are losing a chance to establish a valuable idea in his mind1 namely1 that acts usually carry evidences along with them4 ,better say1 ,i see you've been in the pantry4 ,that will help to establish the habit of expecting our acts to be known4 ,then would follow with the little child the careful endeavor to train him to recognize the acts that are wrong because harmful1 greedy1 against the good of others1 and against his own good4 ,just here parents1 especially many religious parents1 meet the temptation thoughtlessly to use ,god as their ally by reminding the child that1 though they could not see him in the pantry1 ,god was there watching him4 ,in the vivid memory of a childhood clouded by the thought of a police-detective ,deity1 may one protest against this act of irreverence and blasphemy8 ,true1 ,god was there2 but not as a spy1 a reporter of all that is bad1 anxious to detect1 but cowardly and cruel in silence at all other times6 ,let the child grow up with the happy feeling that ,god is always with him1 rejoicing in his play1 his well-aimed ball1 his successes in school1 his constant friend1 helper1 and confidant4 ,i like better the ,god to whom a little fellow in ,montana prayed the other day1 ,o ,god1 ,i thank you for helping me to lick ,billy ,johnson6 ,the child of the pantry needs to know the ,god who will help him to do and know the right4 #c4 ,,older ,,children ,but protective lying presents a more serious problem with older children4 ,the school-teacher and parent meet it1 just as the judge and the employer meet it in adults4 ,the cure lies early in life4 ,truth-telling is as much a habit as lying is4 ,perhaps it is more easily practiced2 its drafts are on the powers of observation and memory rather than on those of imagination4 ,along with the child's imaginative powers there must be developed the powers of exact observation and description4 ,exact observation and description or relation are but parts of the larger general virtue of precision4 ,help children at every turn of life to be right--right in doing things1 right in thinking1 in saying1 and in execution4 ,precision at any point in life helps lift the life's whole level4 ,truth-telling is not a separable virtue4 ,you cannot make a boy truthful in word if you let him lie in deed4 ,you cannot expect he will speak the truth if you do not train him to do the truth1 in his play1 in ordering his room1 in thinking through his school problems1 and in thinking through his religious difficulties4 ,truth-telling is the verbal reaction of the life which habitually holds that nothing is right until it is just right4 ,two things would1 ordinarily1 make sure of a truthful statement1 instead of a protective lie1 in answer to your question3 first1 that the young person has been trained to the habit of seeing and stating things as they are--and that you really give him a chance so to state them1 and1 secondly1 that to some degree there has been developed a recognition of considerations or values that are higher than either escape from punishment or the winning of your approbation4 ,he will choose the course that offers what seems to him to be the greater good2 he will choose between punishment1 with rectitude1 a good conscience1 a sense of unity with the higher good1 of peace with ,god his friend1 a greater approximation to your ideal1 on the one side1 and1 on the other1 escape from punishment4 ,everything in that crisis will depend on how real you have made the good to be1 how much the sense of the reality of ,god and his companionship has brought of joy and friendship1 and how high are his values of the actual1 the real1 the true4 #d4 ,,at ,,the ,,crisis ,but what shall we do as we meet the lie on the lips of the child8 ,first1 as already suggested1 do not wait until you meet it4 ,train the child to the truthful life4 ,second1 be sure you do not make too heavy moral demands4 ,remember the instinct to protect himself from immediate punishment or disapprobation is stronger than any other just then4 ,do not ask him to do what the law says the prisoner may not do1 incriminate himself4 ,we have no right to put on our children tests harder than they can bear4 ,often we put those which are harder than we could face4 ,what you will do just then depends on what you have been doing for the training of the child or youth4 ,do not expect him to solve problems in moral geometry if you have neglected simple addition in that realm4 ,punishment by the blow or the immediate sentence will be futile4 ,the offender must know he has trespassed in a realm beyond your administration and rule2 he has done more than commit an offense against you4 ,whatever consequences follow--such as your hesitation to accept his word--must evidently be a part of the operation of the entire moral law4 ,help him to see that lying strikes at the root of all social relations and would make all happy and prosperous living1 all friendship1 and all business impossible by destroying social confidence4 ,facing the crisis1 do not demand more than your training gives you a right to expect4 ,often1 instead of the direct categorical question as to guilt1 we must gradually draw out a narrative of the events in question2 we must patiently help the child to state the facts and to see the values of exactitudes4 ,without preaching or posing we must bring the events into the light of larger areas of time and circles of life1 help him to see them related to all his life and to all mankind and to the very fringes of existence1 to ,god and the eternal4 ,that cannot be done in a moment2 it is part of a habit of our own minds or it is not really done at all4 ,at the moment we can1 however1 make the deepest impression by insistence on the importance of the actual1 the real1 the exactly true4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,e4,l4 ,cabot1 ,every ,day ,ethics1 chaps4 xix1 xx4 ,holt1 #a4be4 ,w4,b4 ,forbush1 ,on ,truth ,telling4 ,pamphlet4 ,american ,institute of ,child ,life1 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,j4 ,sully1 ,children's ,ways1 pp4 #abd-cc4 ,appleton1 #a4be4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,g4,s4 ,hall1 ,a ,study of ,children's ,lies1 ,educational ,problems1 ,i1 chap4 vi4 ,appleton1 #b4ej4 ,e4,p4 ,st4 ,john1 ,a ,genetic ,study of ,veracity4 ,pamphlet4 ,j4 ,sully1 ,studies in ,childhood4 ,e4,h4 ,griggs1 ,moral ,education4 ,huebsch1 #a4fj4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,are there degrees of lying8 #b4 ,when is a lie not a lie8 #c4 ,how can we discriminate among the statements of children8 #d4 ,how can we help them to recognize the qualities of truth8 #e4 ,in what ways are parents to blame for forcing children to protective lying8 #f4 ,what of the relation of the thought of ,god to the demands for truth8 #g4 ,would you punish a child for lying and1 if so1 in what way8 ,,chapter ,,xxii ,,dealing ,,with ,,moral ,,crises 7,concluded7 #a4 ,,dishonesty ,many parents appear to think that the child's concepts of property rights and of fair dealing are without importance4 ,habits of pilfering are permitted to develop and success in cheating wins admiration4 ,low standards are accepted and religion is divorced from moral questions4 ,the family attitude practically assumes that all persons cheat more or less and that it is necessary only to use wisdom to insure freedom from conviction4 ,responsibility lies at home4 ,we shall never have an honest generation until we have honest men and women to breed and train it4 ,it is folly to think we can lay on the public schools the burden of the moral education of the young4 ,much is already being attempted there2 yet little seems to be accomplished because the home1 having the child before and after school and for a longer period each day1 furnishes no adequate basis in habits1 ideals1 and instruction for the moral work of the school4 ,if parents assume that one cannot succeed with absolute integrity1 that dishonesty in some degree is necessary to prosperity1 then children will learn that lesson despite all that may be said elsewhere4 ,honest children grow where1 in answer to the false statement1 ,you will starve if you do business honestly1 parents say1 ,then we will starve4 ,but the very home life itself can be a teacher of dishonesty4 ,is it largely a matter of sham and pretense for the sake of social glory8 ,does it prefer a cheap veneer to a slowly acquired genuine article8 ,is the front appearance that of a dandy while the backyard looks like a slattern8 ,is the home striving for more than it deserves8 ,is it trying to get more out of life than it puts in8 ,evading taxes1 avoiding duties1 a community parasite1 does it commend to children the arts of social cheating and lying8 ,such homes teach so loudly that no voice could be heard in them4 ,given the atmosphere1 ideals1 and practices of the honest life in the home itself1 the problems of conduct1 in the realm of these rights1 are more than half solved4 ,here in the home the real training for the life of business takes place4 ,not for an instant can we afford to lower standards here1 nor to lose sight of the life-long power of our ideals1 our habits1 and our attitudes on the conduct of the next generation4 ,do parents know that the problems of lying1 cheating1 quarreling are the great1 vital questions for their children1 much more important than industrial or professional success in life2 that on these all success is predicated8 ,if they do1 surely they cannot regard the problems which arise as mere incidents2 surely they will provide for the culture of the moral life as definitely as for the culture of the physical or the intellectual6 #b4 ,,lessons ,,in ,,honesty ,but children also acquire habits from their playmates4 ,whenever the act of pilfering appears1 the wrong must be made clear4 ,some sense of property rights is necessary2 not the right1 as some assume1 to do what you will with a thing because you have it1 but the right to enjoy and usefully employ it4 ,help children to see the difference between mine and thine4 ,slovenly moral thinking often comes from too great freedom in forgetful borrowing within the family4 ,in this little social group the members must first acquire the habits of respect for the rights of others4 ,through toys1 tools1 and books the lesson may be learned so early that it becomes a part of the normal order of things4 ,children can learn that the game of life has its rules and that the breach of these rules spoils the game and prevents our own happiness4 ,they can learn1 too1 that these are not arbitrary rules2 they are like the laws of nature2 they are the conditions under which alone it is possible for people to live together and to make life worth while4 ,gambling is wrong because it is unsocial2 it is the attempt to gain without an equivalent giving4 ,cheating is wrong1 no matter how many practice it1 just as surely as cheating is wrong in the game on the playground4 ,children are really peculiarly sensitive to the social consciousness4 ,in school under no circumstances will they do that which the school custom forbids or the older boys condemn4 ,in the home1 despite contrary appearances1 the opinion of elders1 brothers1 sisters1 and parents is the recognized law4 ,every small boy wants to be like his big brother4 ,children's conduct may be guided by an understanding of the social will outside the school and home4 ,help them to know that all people everywhere in organized society condemn cheating and dishonesty4#di ,sentiment and emotional feeling must back up all teaching of conduct4 ,your stories and readings should be selected with this in mind4 ,the approbation of parents and of the great ,father of all enters as an effectual motive4 ,but parents seldom understand these problems2 they attempt to deal with each one as it arises until they are weary of the seemingly endless procession and abandon the task4 ,their endeavors are based on faint memories of such problems in their own youth or on rule-of-thumb proverbial philosophy about morals and children4 ,does not the development of moral ability and culture deserve at least as much attention as any other phase of the child's life8 ,after all1 what do we most of all desire for all our children--position1 fame1 ease8 or is it not rather simply this1 that1 no matter what else they do1 they may be good and useful men and women8 ,then what are we doing to make them good and useful8 ,a clear view of the need for moral training1 a belief that is possible1 will surely lead to serious attempts to learn the art of moral training4 ,in this they need not be without guidance4 ,there is a number of good books on character development in the child4#ej ,the foundation for all such training of parents ought to be laid in an understanding of what the moral nature is1 and then of the laws of its development4 ,later the specific problems may be separately considered4 #c4 ,,teasing ,,and ,,bullying ,teasing is the child's crude method of experimentation in psychological reactions2 the teaser desires to discover just how the teased will respond4 ,it degenerates1 by easy steps1 into a thoughtless infliction of pain in sheer enjoyment of another's misery1 and then into brutal bullying4 ,when only two children are together mere teasing will not last long2 either the teaser will tire of his task or his teasing will turn to that lowest of all brutalities1 delight in inflicting pain on weaker ones4 ,but teasing is a serious problem in many families2 the whole group sometimes lives in an atmosphere of ridicule1 derision1 and annoyance4 ,teasing is likely to appear at its worst wherever a group is gathered1 for the guilty ones are under the stimulus of the praise of others2 they inflict mental pain for the sake of winning approbation4 ,teasing has a pedagogical basis4 ,a certain amount of ridicule acts healthfully on most persons4 ,even children need sometimes to see their weaknesses1 and especially their faults of temper1 in the light of other eyes1 in the aspect of the ridiculous4 ,but children are seldom to be trusted to discipline one another2 freedom to do so is likely to develop hardness1 indifference to the sufferings of others1 and arrogance from the sense of lordship4 ,the corrective of ridicule is safe only as it is a kindly expression of the sense of humor4 ,the ability to see and to show just how foolish or funny some situations are will turn many a tragedy of childhood into a comedy4 ,whenever children laugh at the distresses or faults of others1 help them to laugh at their own4 ,cultivate the habit of seeing the odd1 the whimsical1 the humorous side of things4 ,a sound sense of kindly humor often will save us all from unkind teasing4 #d4 ,,some ,,cures ,,for ,,teasing ,help the habitual and unkind teaser to see how cowardly the act is1 to see how it is against the spirit of fair play4 ,call on him to help the weaker one4 ,if he is teasing for some fault of temper or some habit1 show him the chance that is afforded to do the nobler deed of helping another to overcome that fault4 ,let the cowardly teaser reap the consequences of his own act2 he must bear the burden of the critic1 the expectation of perfection4 ,teasing him for his own shortcomings will sometimes cure him1 but usually he loses his temper quickly4 ,make him feel the injustice of the teaser's method4 ,if he is a bully he needs bullying4 ,if ever corporal punishment is wise it is in such a case4 ,he who inflicts pain simply because he can deserves to endure pain inflicted by someone stronger4 ,but one must be careful not to confirm him in the coward's code4 ,the injustice of it he must see1 see by smarting under it4 ,if ever punishment before others is wise it is in this case2 for surely he who delights in humiliating others must be humiliated4 ,but though justice suggests this course1 experience shows that it does not always work2 the bully only bides his time1 and1 cherishing resentment1 he wreaks it on the weaker ones4 ,the best cure for brutal teasing will take a longer time than is involved in a thrashing4 ,besides1 the teaser will get his thrashings very soon from other boys4 ,it requires time to change the habits that make bullying possible4 ,try gradually helping him to see the beauty and pleasure of helpfulness4 ,give him a chance to give pleasure instead of pain4 ,help him to taste the joy of praise1 the praise that helps more than all teasing criticism4 ,help him to see that it is more truly a mark of superiority to help1 to cheer1 to do good1 than to oppress and tease4 ,take time to habituate him in helpfulness4 ,in dealing with teasing in the family1 two other things are worth remembering3 ,first1 the teased must be taught the protective power of indifference4 ,teasers stop as soon as their barbs fail to wound2 the fun ends there4 ,laugh at those who laugh at you1 and they will soon cease4 ,secondly1 the atmosphere and habit of the family determine the course of teasing4 ,where carping criticism and unkindly ridicule abound1 children cannot be blamed for like habits4 ,where the sense of humor lightens tense situations1 where we sacrifice the pleasure of stinging criticism for the sake of encouraging those who most need it1 children are quick to catch those habits too4 ,the teasing child usually comes out of a family of similar habits4 ,on seeing our children engaged in teasing others1 our first thought ought to be as to the extent to which we may have been their example in this respect4 ,constant watchfulness on our part against the temptations to tease will have an effect far more potent than all attempts to talk them out of the habit2 it will lead them out4 ,i4 ,references for ,study #a4 ,,honesty ,p4 ,du ,bois1 ,the ,culture of ,justice1 chaps4 iii1 x4 ,dodd1 ,mead ,co41 #j4ge4 ,e4,p4 ,st4 ,john1 ,child ,nature and ,child ,nurture1 chap4 viii4 ,pilgrim ,press1 #j4ej4 #b4 ,,teasing ,w4,l4 ,sheldon1 ,a ,study of ,habits1 chap4 xvii4 ,welch ,co41 ,chicago1 #a4be4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,,on ,,general ,,moral ,,training ,sneath ,hodges1 ,moral ,training in ,school and ,home4 ,macmillan1 #j4hj4 ,e4,o4 ,sisson1 ,the ,essentials of ,character4 ,macmillan1 #a4jj4 ,h4 ,thisleton ,mark1 ,the ,unfolding of ,personality4 ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press1 #a4jj4 ,paul ,carus1 ,our ,children4 ,open ,court ,publishing ,co41 #a4jj4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,of what importance is the child's sense of possession8 #b4 ,what are the first evidences of a consciousness of property rights8 #c4 ,how do homes train in dishonesty8 #d4 ,what is the relation between cheating and dishonesty8 #e4 ,what is a child seeking to do when he teases another8 #f4 ,what are the unfortunate features of teasing8 #g4 ,what is the relation of teasing to bullying8 #h4 ,what cures would you suggest for either8 ,,footnotes3 #di ,parents will be helped by the practical discussions of cheating1 cribbing1 and other boy problems in ,johnson1 ,problems of ,boyhood4 #ej ,see ,book ,list in ,appendix4 ,,chapter ,,xxiii ,,the ,,personal ,,factors ,,in ,,religious ,,education ,whoever will stop to review his early educational experience will be impressed with the instantaneous and vivid manner in which certain teachers spring into memory4 ,they are seen as though actually living again4 ,we have difficulty in recalling even the subjects they taught1 while of the particulars of their teaching we have absolutely no recollection4 ,but they continue to influence us2 they are like so many silent forces leading our lives to this day4 ,the teacher is always greater than his lesson1 and what he is1 is greater than what he says4 ,the religious education of the young depends more on the gift of persons1 on contact with lives1 than on anything else4 ,there are instructors and there are teachers2 the former impart information1 the latter convey personality2 the former deal with subjects1 the latter teach people4 ,the greatest factor in education as a process of developing persons is the power of stimulating personality4 ,the power of the family as an educational agency is in the fact that it is an organization of persons for personal purposes4 ,when you take the persons away you remove all educational potencies4 ,the depersonalized home is the modern menace4 ,we have come to think that provided you throw furniture and food together in proper proportions you can produce a capable life4 ,so we depend on the home as a piece of machinery to do its work automatically1 forgetting that the working activity is not the home but the family1 not the furniture but people4 ,life can only come from life1 and lives can only come from lives4 ,personality alone can develop personality4 ,by so much as you rob the family life of your personal presence1 as mother or as father1 you take away from its reality as a family1 from its force as an educational agency1 from its religious reality4 #a4 ,,orphaned ,,families ,all that is said here about fathers might well be applied to mothers1 save that they are not as flagrant sinners in this respect1 and1 besides1 it comes with better grace for a father to speak on the sins of fathers4 ,there are too many fathers who are financial and physiological fathers only4 ,a good father easily grows as crooked as a dollar sign when he is nurtured only on money4 ,many1 both fathers and mothers1 take parenthood wholly in physiological terms1 imagining--if they think about it at all--that they have fully discharged all possible obligations if only they know how to bear1 feed1 and clothe children properly4 ,true1 such duties are fundamental1 but no father can be rightly called a good provider who provides only things for his family1 no matter with what generosity he provides these things4 ,our homes need more of ourselves first of all4 ,he makes a capital error of setting first things in secondary places who willingly permits business to interfere with the pleasure of being with his children4 ,our social order fights its own welfare as long as any father is chained to the wheels of industry through the hours that belong to his home4 ,but there are just as many who are not chained1 but who enslave themselves to business1 and so miss the largest and best business in the world1 the development of children's characters4 ,many a good father goes wrong here4 ,love and ambition prompt him to provide abundantly for his children2 he enslaves himself to give them those social advantages which he missed in youth4 ,but it is a short-measure love that gives only gifts and never gives itself4 ,the heart hungers1 not for what you have in your hand1 but for what you are4 ,the gift without the giver is bare4 ,no amount of bountiful providing can atone for the loss of the father's personality4 ,it is easy for the hands to be so engrossed in providing that the home is left headless and soon heartless4 ,if we at all desire the fruits of character in the home we must give ourselves personally4 ,it is not alone the habitu of the saloon or the idler in clubs and fraternities who is guilty of stealing from the home its rightful share of his presence4 ,he who gives so much of himself to any object as not to give the best of himself to his family comes under the apostolic ban of being worse than an infidel4 ,a father belongs to his home more than he belongs to his church4 ,there have been men1 though probably their number is not legion1 who have allowed church duties1 meetings1 and obligations so to absorb their time and energy that they have given only a worn-out1 burned-out1 and useless fragment of themselves to their children4 ,some have found it more attractive to talk of the heavenly home in prayer-meeting or to be gracious to the stranger and to win the smile of the neighbor at the church than to take up the by-no-means-easy task of being godly1 sympathetic and cheerful1 courteous and kind among their children and in their homes4 ,no matter what it may be1 church or club1 politics or reform organization1 we are working at the wrong end if we are allowing them to take precedence of the home4 #b4 ,,the ,,father',s ,,chance ,the father owes it to his family to give himself at his best1 that is1 as far as possible1 when his vitality is freshest and his powers keenest to answer to the young life about him4 ,he owes it to his family to conserve for it the time to think of its needs1 time to listen to the wife's story of its problems1 time to sit and sympathize with children1 time to hear their seemingly idle prattle1 time to play with them4 ,have you ever noticed this great difference between the father and the mother1 that while the latter always has time to bind up cut fingers and to hear to its end the story of what the little neighbor1 ,johnny ,smith1 did and said1 somehow father's ear seems deaf to such stories and he is often too busy to sympathize8 ,it might work a vast change in some families if the children's hour had a call to the father as well as to the mother4 ,of course we are crowded with social engagements and life is at high pressure under the enticing obligation of uplifting and reforming everybody else1 yet one hour of every evening held sacred for the firelight conversation1 one in which the children could really get at our hearts1 might be worth more to tomorrow than all our public propaganda4 ,fathers owe their brains as well as their hands to their families4 ,competent and efficient fatherhood does not come by accident4 ,we are learning that children cannot be understood merely by loving them1 that two things must be held in balance3 the scientific and the sympathetic study of childhood4 ,is there any good reason why1 while so readily granting that mothers should belong to mothers' clubs1 study child psychology1 the hygiene of infancy1 domestic science1 and eugenics1 we should assume that fathers may safely dispense with all such knowledge8 ,there are men who sit up nights studying how to grow the biggest radishes in the block1 there are men who toil through technical handbooks on the game of golf1 who would look at you in open-eyed wonder if you should suggest the duty of studying their children with equal scientific patience4 ,they of course desire to have ideal children but they are not willing to learn how to grow them4 #c4 ,,fathering ,,as ,a ,,man',s ,,task ,it takes intelligence and burns up brain power to keep the confidence of your boy so that he will freely talk of his own life and needs to you4 ,those much-to-be-desired open doors are kept open1 not by accident1 nor by our sentiments or wishes alone4 ,a boy changes so fast that a man has to be alert1 thinking and trying to understand and sympathize all the time4 ,the boy sees through all sleepy pretenses of understanding4 ,we keep the open door of confidence only as by steady endeavor we keep in real touch with the boy's world4 ,fathers are ignorant of the problems of family training2 they oscillate between the wishy-washy sentimentality that permits anarchy in the home and the harsh1 unthinking despotism that breeds hatred and rebellion4 ,fathers criticize the public schools but never take the time to go and look inside one4 ,they laugh at women's clubs because they are too lazy to make a like investment in the patient study of some of their problems4 ,they affect indifference to the parent-teacher clubs while remaining ignorant of the significant things they have already accomplished for the schools4 ,if we were to make an inventory of what the women1 the mothers1 have accomplished by study1 agitation1 and legislation for social1 civic1 ethical1 and religious betterment1 we proud lords of creation would1 or ought to1 hang our heads in shame4 ,fatherhood is our chance to become4 ,it is our chance to grow into our finest selves4 ,the measure of its gains to us depends upon the measure of our gifts to its opportunities and duties4 ,it is our chance to be what we should like our children to be1 our chance to find ourselves4 ,all that it costs1 all the self-denial1 labor1 and often pain it must mean1 is just the process of developing a fine1 rich life4 ,now1 that life is just the greatest gift that any man can make to his home and his world4 ,we can never give any more than ourselves or any other than ourselves1 and this pathway of sacrifice1 this costly way of home-making1 is a man's chance to become ,godlike4 ,the race has come upward in this way4 ,it needs the masculine in its ideal self as well as the feminine4 ,there is no race salvation without constant individual self-giving4 ,that self-giving must be balanced equally on the part of the man and the woman4 ,fatherhood1 like motherhood1 is just our chance to learn life's best lesson1 that there is a certain short path to happiness which men have called the way of pain and ,god calls the way of peace4 ,motherhood is a sacred portion1 but so is fatherhood4 ,its calls are just as high1 its service just as holy1 its opportunities just as large1 its meaning just as divine4 ,how worse than empty are all our pratings about divine fatherhood if we illustrate its meaning only degradingly or misleadingly6 ,and just as the life of the spirit is the gift of that divine fatherhood1 so for us the gift of our lives1 ourselves1 is the largest and richest contribution we can make to the religious lives of our children4 ,the father as a teacher teaches by what he is4 ,the classes in the home have no set lessons1 for the text is written in lives and the word is spoken and taught in personality4 ,you effect the religious education of your children in the degree that you give yourself as a simple religious person to them4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,hodges1 ,training of ,children in ,religion1 chap4 vii4 ,appleton1 #a4ej4 ,k4,g4 ,busby1 ,home ,life in ,america1 chaps4 i1 ii4 ,macmillan1 #b4jj4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,e4,a4 ,abbott1 ,on the ,training of ,parents4 ,houghton ,mifflin ,co41 #a4jj4 ,allen1 ,making the ,most of ,our ,children4 #b vols4 ,mc,clurg1 #a4jj each4 ,wilm1 ,the ,culture of ,religion1 chap4 ii4 ,pilgrim ,press1 #j4ge ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,which do you remember best1 your teachers or your lessons8 ,why8 #b4 ,describe1 from your memory1 some of the influences of personality8 #c4 ,are these influences greater or less with parents on children8 #d4 ,what are the causes that separate parents and children8 #e4 ,how shall we define duties to business1 to society1 and to the family8 #f4 ,under what circumstances is one justified in refusing time to the church for the sake of the family8 #g4 ,what are the best times and opportunities for the strengthening of the personal bonds between children and parents8 #h4 ,how shall we overcome the apparent difficulty of maintaining the confidence of children8 ,,chapter ,,xxiv ,,looking ,,to ,,the ,,future ,whether we can remedy the ills of family living today or not1 we can determine the character of the family life of the future4 ,the homes of tomorrow are being determined today4 ,the children who swing their feet in schoolrooms and play in our gardens will control family living very soon4 ,we can do little to reconstruct the old order2 we can do everything to determine the new4 ,when the mountain sides have been made bare1 forest conservation cannot save the old trees1 but it can prepare for new growths4 ,ours is the larger opportunity because we can determine the ideals of our children4 ,today we can determine that they shall not suffer from false conceptions1 shall not bruise themselves in the blind ignorance that compelled us to find our own way4 ,we shall see that1 first1 in the education of our children we can save the homes of tomorrow by training the children of today to set first things first4 ,if family life has been neglected in ,america1 it has been because we have submerged its real values of character and affection in a flood of things1 of materialism4 #a4 ,a ,,constructive ,,policy ,,for ,,character ,the future higher efficiency of the family depends on an extension of a conscience for character through all our thinking on the family4 ,we are really half-ashamed to talk of character4 ,we blush for ideals but we have no shame in boasting of commerce and factories2 we are ashamed of the things of beauty and we love only the useful4 ,so we have become ashamed of the ideals of the home4 ,not only do we passively acquiesce in the popular attitude of indifference or derision1 but we voice it ourselves4 ,we join in the jest at marriage2 we joke over marital infelicities4 ,we would be ashamed to be caught singing ,home1 ,sweet ,home4 ,what is more important1 we show that1 as a people1 we have less and less the habit of regarding the home as any other than a commercial affair4 ,the tendency is to determine domestic living wholly by economic factors4 ,the literature on the home is overwhelmingly economic2 its heart is in the kitchen4 ,high efficiency on the physiological1 sanitary1 culinary1 and mechanical sides makes the modern home so convenient that you can lie on a folding bed1 press a button to light the grate fire1 turn on the lights1 start the toaster1 and wake the children4 ,homes are places to hide in at night1 to feed the body1 arrange the clothes1 and start out from for real living4 ,they are private hotels4 ,if we would save the family we must save the child from losing sight of the primacy of human values2 we must strengthen his natural faith that people are worth more than all besides1 leading him into the faith that moral integrity1 truth1 honor1 righteousness1 are the glory of a life4 ,more1 these young lives must be trained to habitual and efficient right-doing4 ,in a word1 the conservation of the home is simply a program of beginning today ourselves to set first things first1 to conserve the human factors that will make homes1 to make education everywhere in school and church and home count first of all for character4 ,and that broader education we ourselves must test first of all by this1 whether it makes youth competent to live aright1 cultivates the love of worthy ideals1 and makes him willing and able to pay the price of a trained life consecrated to the service of his world1 to the love of his fellows1 and to the making of a new world4 ,we shall need1 first1 to safeguard the primary motives that enter into the founding of families4 ,those motives begin to develop early4 ,they are in the making in childhood4 ,somehow we must plan the education of youths so that they will think of homes and of marriage in new terms4 ,possibly the public school will not only teach the physiology of marriage and the bare physical facts of sexual purity1 but will teach new ideals of family life2 it will count it at least as much a duty to cultivate a love of home as it is to cultivate a love of country4 ,it can set so clearly the final objective of character that even children shall see that life has higher ends than money-making and the family greater purposes than garish social display4 #b4 ,,the ,,church ,,aiding ,certainly the church must seek to quicken and develop new ideals of family life2 it must bring religion to our hearths and homes2 it must worry less about a home over there1 and show how truly heavenly homes may be made here4 ,it must not only get youth ready to die1 it must prepare them to live2 to live together on religious terms4 ,it will do this1 not only by general discussions in the pulpit1 but by special instruction in classes4 ,no church has a clear conscience in regard to any young person contemplating the duties of a family whom it has not directly instructed in the duties of that life4 ,it is a strange spectacle1 if we would stop long enough to look at it1 of the church proclaiming a way of life but scarcely ever teaching it4 ,in any church there is a large number of young people under instruction2 what are they learning8 ,usually a theological interpretation of an ancient religious literature4 ,some still are learning to hate all other persons whose religion differs from the brand carried in that institution4 ,in a few years these youths will be bearing social burdens1 facing temptations1 taking up duties2 does their teaching relate at all to these things8 ,no1 indeed1 that would be worldly2 it would seem to be sacrilegious to teach them how actually to be religious4 ,the business of the church school is still largely that of filling minds with theological data rather than training young1 trainable lives to become religious schoolboys1 religious voters1 religious parents4 ,how many have been at all influenced by ,sunday-school teaching when they stepped into a polling-booth1 when they chose a life-mate1 when they guided or disciplined their children8 ,if religious education does not at all influence us in the great events of life1 of what value is it to us8 ,must it not be counted a sheer waste of time8 ,if we would conserve the human values of the family we must train youth to a religious interpretation of the home4 ,if we cannot do that in the church we might as well confess that the church cannot touch the sources of human affairs4 #c4 ,,ideals ,,and ,,methods ,no matter what the breadth of the interests of the public school1 youth will still need training for family living given under religious auspices and with the religious aim4 ,the day school may give courses in domestic economy1 but family living demands more than ability to sweep a room or cook an egg4 ,in fact1 no one can be competent to meet its higher demands unless at least two things are accomplished1 first1 that he1 or she1 is led to see the family as essentially a religious1 spiritual institution because it is an association of persons for the purpose of developing other persons to spiritual fulness2 secondly1 that he1 or she1 is moved to willingness to count the work of the family1 its purpose and aim1 as the highest in life and that for which one is willing to pay any price of time1 treasure1 thought1 and endeavor4 ,this means that the fundamental need is that our young people shall grow up with a new vision and a new passion for the home and family4 ,that passion is needed to give value to any training in the economics or mechanics of the home2 and that training is precisely the contribution which the church should make to all departments of life today4 ,it is the prophet1 the interpreter1 revealing the spiritual meanings of all daily affairs and quickening us to right feeling1 to highly directed passion for worthy ideals4 ,from the general teaching1 the high message of the church1 directed to this special problem1 there must be formed in the mind of the coming generation a new picture of the family1 a new ethics of its life1 a new evaluation of its worth4 ,that can come in part by the prophetic message from the pulpit1 but it will come more naturally and readily by regular teaching directed to the actual experiences and the coming needs of the young people who are to be home-makers4 ,the soaring ideals pass over their heads1 but when you teach the practice1 the details of the life of the family in the spirit of these ideals1 as interpreted and determined by the higher conception1 then they catch the vision through the details4 ,we need two types of classes in church schools in relation to the life of the family3 ,first1 classes for young people in which their social duties as religious persons are carefully taught and discussed4 ,perhaps such courses should not be specifically on ,the ,family1 but this institution ought1 in the course1 to occupy a place proportionate to that which belongs to it in life4 ,the instruction should be specific and detailed1 not simply a series of homilies on ,the ,christian ,family1 ,love of ,home1 etc41 but taking up the great problems of the economic place of the family today1 its spiritual function1 questions of choice of life-partners1 types of dwelling1 finances and money relations in the family1 children and their training1 and the actual duties and problems which arise in family living4 ,all topics should be treated from the dominant viewpoint of the family as a religious institution for the development of the lives of religious persons4 ,the courses should be so arranged as to be given to young people of about twenty years of age1 or of twenty to twenty-five4 ,they should be among the electives offered in the church school4 ,the second type of class would be for those who are already parents and who desire help on their special problems4 ,many schools now conduct such classes1 meeting either on ,sunday or during the week4#ea ,work on ,parents' ,problems1 ,family ,religious ,education1 and similar topics is also being given in the city institutes for religious workers4 ,no church can be satisfied with its service to the community unless it provides opportunity for parents to study their work of character development through the family and to secure greater efficiency therein4 ,such classes need only three conditions3 a clear understanding of the purpose of meeting the actual problems of religious training in the family1 a leader or instructor who is really qualified to lead and to instruct in this subject1 and an invitation to parents to avail themselves of this opportunity4 ,the value of such a class would be greatly enhanced if it should be held in close co-ordination with similar classes or clubs conducted by the public schools4#eb ,here all the parents of the community meet in the school building1 not to discuss how the teachers may satisfy parental criticism1 but to learn what the school has to teach on modern educational methods applied to the life of the child1 especially in the family1 and mutually to find ways of co-operation between the home and the school for the betterment of the child4 ,i4 ,references for ,study ,articles in ,religious ,education1 ,april1 #aiaa1 ,,vi1 #a-gg4 ,helen ,c4 ,putnam in ,religious ,education1 ,june1 #aiaa1 ,,vi1 #aei-ff4 ,george ,w4 ,dawson in ,religious ,education1 ,june1 #aiaa1 ,,vi1 #afg-gd4 ,cabot1 ,volunteer ,help in the ,schools1 chap4 vii4 ,houghton ,mifflin ,co41 #j4fj4 ,,ii4 ,further ,reading ,forsyth1 ,marriage1 ,its ,ethics and ,religion4 ,hodder ,stoughton1 #a4be4 ,lovejoy1 ,self-,training for ,motherhood4 ,american ,unitarian ,association1 #a4jj4 ,pomeroy1 ,ethics of ,marriage4 ,funk ,wagnalls1 #a4ej4 ,,iii4 ,topics for ,discussion #a4 ,in how far are home problems due to the ignorance of parents8 #b4 ,what do you regard as the essentials in the training of parents8 #c4 ,where can the necessary subjects best be taught8 #d4 ,what are the difficulties in the way of teaching these subjects to young people8 #e4 ,in how far can we direct the reading of young people toward sane and helpful knowledge of family life and duties8 ,,footnotes3 #ea ,pamphlets on plans for parents' classes3 ,the ,home and the ,sunday ,school1 ,pilgrim ,press2 ,plans for ,mothers' and ,parents' ,meetings1 ,sunday ,school ,times ,co42 ,how to ,start a ,mothers' ,department1 ,david ,c4 ,cook ,co42 ,the ,parents' ,department of the ,sunday ,school1 ,connecticut ,sunday ,school ,association1 ,hartford1 ,conn4 #eb ,see pamphlet published by the ,national ,congress of ,mothers3 ,how to ,organize ,parents' ,associations and ,mothers' ,circles in ,public ,schools4 ,,appendixes ,,appendix ,i ,,suggestions ,,for ,,class ,,work ,this book is designed for individual reading or for use in classes4 ,it is not a textbook of the same character as a textbook in mathematics or history1 but the material is arranged so as to be both easily readable and of ready analysis for classes4 ,there are two methods of following the course3 one by work conducted under a regular teacher in a class1 and the other by private or correspondence study4 #a4 ,,the ,,class ,the class should be composed of parents and other adults1 inasmuch as the work is designed for them4 ,it may be a class in connection with the ,sunday school in a church1 a class conducted by a mothers' club or congress or by a parent-teacher association1 or it may be organized under other auspices4 ,or it might be organized by a group of parents in any community4 ,the class need not consist of either fathers or mothers alone1 as the work is planned for both4 ,in any case the work of teaching will be facilitated if1 in addition to the customary officers of the class1 the teacher will appoint a librarian1 whose duties would be to ascertain for the members of the class where the books for study and for reference may be obtained1 that is1 whether they are in the public library1 church library1 or in private collections1 and also1 whenever it is desired to purchase books1 where they may best be secured4 #b4 ,,the ,,teacher ,the primary requisite for the teacher will be an eagerness to learn1 a sufficiently deep interest in the subject to lead to thorough study4 ,no one can teach this class who already knows all about the subject4 ,a spirit sympathetic with the child and the life of the family and a mind willing to study the subject will accomplish much more than facile rhetorical familiarity with it4 ,the best teacher will not often be an easy talker on the family2 class time is too precious to be occupied with a lecture4 ,while1 naturally1 one who is a parent will speak with greater experience than another1 the ability to teach this subject cannot be limited to fathers and mothers2 physiological parenthood is less important than spiritual parenthood4 ,the teacher must have1 then1 willingness to study the subject1 ability to teach as contrasted with mere talking1 sympathy with parenthood1 and a passion for the religious personal values in life4 #c4 ,,general ,,method ,the teacher's aim will be to make this course definitely practical4 ,the book is not concerned so much with theories of the family as with the present problems of the family1 and especially with those that relate to moral and religious education4 ,there must be a sense of definite problems to be concretely treated in all lessons4 ,the teacher will therefore encourage discussion1 but will also avoid the tendency to drift into desultory conversation4 ,direct the discussion to avoid tedious dtours on side issues4 ,direct the discussion to avoid the tendency to treat superficially all the subject at one session4 ,it will be necessary frequently to insist that attention be focused upon the immediate problems suggested by the lesson for the day1 and to ask the class to wait until the subjects which they in their eagerness suggest shall come in their due order4 ,encourage personal experiences as sidelights and criticisms on the text1 but remember that no single experience is conclusive4 ,beware of the over-elaboration and detailed narration of experiences4 ,insist on a thorough study of the text4 ,students should be so prepared as to make a lecture superfluous and to allow discussion to take the place of review and explanation4 ,the greatest danger in parents' classes is that the members do not study2 class work becomes indefinite and soon loses value4 ,again1 the members of the class often are unwilling to be governed by the schedule of lessons1 and the class drifts into aimless conversation4 ,adult students especially need to be turned from the tendency to regard educational experience as having come to an end with their school days4 ,the members of this class will need encouragement2 they must be stimulated patiently until they have re-formed some habits of study and rediscovered the pleasures of systematic thinking4 ,the best stimulus will be a teacher so convinced of the supreme importance of the subject to be studied as to lead the members to recognize its importance and the insignificance of any price they may pay for efficient spiritual parenthood4 #d4 ,,class ,,work ,at the first session teach chap4 i1 which is introductory4 ,draw out discussion on the points suggested therein1 and assign this chapter and the one following for the next session4 ,the first lesson will give the teacher opportunity to explain and illustrate the method of study1 presentation1 and discussion4 ,assign the work carefully each week1 calling especial attention to the ,references for ,study4 ,secure promises from as many as possible to read at least one of these references and to prepare a written report1 on one sheet of paper1 for presentation at the next session4 ,ask others to look into the special points which will be found in the references given under the heading ,further ,reading4 ,in beginning a lesson it will be wise to call to mind first the principle running through the book1 that the great work of the family is the development of religious persons in the home2 then call to mind the application of this principle in the last lesson4 ,make your review very brief4 ,next1 bring out the leading topic of the lesson for the day4 ,this should be done so as to present a vital issue and a live topic to the class4 ,very often the best way of doing this is to state a concrete case involving the issue discussed4 ,the presentation of a definite set of circumstances or a fairly complete experience involving the fundamental principles under discussion is an instance of teaching by the case method4 ,if the teacher will consider how the law student is trained by the study of particular cases1 the advantage of the method will be clear4 ,be sure that the case selected will include the principles to be taught4 ,prepare the statement of the case beforehand4 ,this should be done in a very brief narrative1 so giving the instance as to enable the class to see the reality of the question4 ,be sure that your instance is itself vital and probable4 ,a class of adults will especially need such points of vital contact4 ,by announcing the topic in advance the teacher will often be able to obtain definite cases in point from the members4 ,with the case thus presented take the points in the text and apply them1 first to the special case alone1 but with the purpose of developing the principles involved in that and similar cases4 ,beware of the special danger of the case method1 namely1 that the class may discuss the specific instances rather than the principles4 ,teaching is more than telling2 it is stimulating other minds to see and comprehend and state for themselves4 ,therefore the teacher must first comprehend and be able to state for himself4 ,avoid repeating the phrases of the text4 ,get them over into your own language and see that the class does the same4 ,do not fail to call for the brief reports on reading1 and to make them a real part of the subject of discussion4 ,questioning is the natural method of stimulating minds4 ,use the question method1 but do not confine yourself to ,what does the author say on this8 ,direct your questions to the points stated and the issues raised so as to compel students to think on the topics and so as to draw out the results of their thinking4 ,form your own judgments and help the class to form theirs too4 ,remember that the purpose of the class is to get people thinking on the great subjects discussed4 ,the text is not written in order that groups of students may learn the author's statements1 but that they may be led to think seriously on all these matters and stimulated to do something about them4 ,use the discussion topics given at the end of each lesson4 ,they are not designed to furnish a syllabus of the lesson1 but to suggest important questions for discussion1 some of which may barely be mentioned in the text4 ,they may be used in assigning the advance work1 giving topics to different students1 and they may be used in your review of the previous lesson4 ,a syllabus of each lesson will be helpful1 provided it be prepared by the students themselves4 ,encourage the careful reading of the lesson by every member of the class1 letting the syllabus grow out of this4 ,notebooks will have their largest value if used at home for two purposes3 first1 to set down the student's analysis of the book as he reads1 secondly1 to record the student's observations on definite problems and on practice in the home4 ,note-taking in the class will have very little value unless it is backed up by study at home4 ,generalization4 ,have clearly in your own mind a definite concept of the general principle underlying each section4 ,read through each section until you can state the principle for yourself4 ,bring your teaching into a focus at the point of that principle before the lesson ends4 ,try to get the members of the class to state the principle in their own words4 ,in action3 ,the principles will have little value unless translated into practical methods2 direct your teaching to their actual use in families4 ,your generalization is for guidance into application4 ,urge that the plans described be actually tried4 ,expect this and call for reports on plans tested in the daily experience of families4 ,if a number of students would try1 for example1 the plan of worship suggested for two or three weeks and report their experiences in writing1 together with the accounts of any other plans tried1 a valuable budget of helpful knowledge could thus be gathered4#ec ,conference plan3 ,some classes will be able to meet twice a week1 taking the lesson at one session and at another spending the time in conference4 ,at the conference period the program might provide for 7#a7 brief papers by members of the class on topics personally assigned1 7#b7 abstracts or summaries of assigned readings1 7#c7 discussion on the particular points raised in the papers1 and 7#d7 conference on unsettled questions from the lesson for the class period preceding4 ,club work3 ,a parents' club might be organized1 either in a church or in connection with a school1 which would use this textbook1 follow the study work with conferences1 and would secure for its own use a library of the books listed after each chapter4 ,such a club would be able to put into practice some of the plans advocated and could encourage their application in groups of families4 ,,footnotes3 #ec ,the teachers are especially invited to secure records of actual experiments of this character4 ,accounts of tried methods of family worship1 especially those with new features1 which should be given in some detail as to the exact plan1 the circumstances1 the material used1 and the results1 should be sent to the author in care of the publishers4 ,perhaps in this way material which may be valuable to large numbers may be gathered4 ,,appendix ,,ii ,a ,,book ,,list ,the following books would be found useful for the working library of a class or club following the study of this text or for a section of the church library on the home and family4 ,the books marked with an asterisk are the ones which may be regarded as of first practical value to parents and others studying the development of character in the life of the family4 ,in addition to the titles mentioned below1 the the references at the end of each chapter in this book will furnish a list of other sources of valuable material4 ,i4 the ,institution of the ,family ,c4,f4 and ,c4,b4 ,thwing1 ,the ,family4 ,lothrop1 ,lee ,shepard1 #a4fj4 ,a historical survey of the family with a special study of its modern dangers and needs4 ,p4,t4 ,forsyth1 ,marriage1 ,its ,ethics and ,religion4 ,hodder ,stoughton1 #a4be4 ,an important1 popular statement of the ethics of marriage as the foundation of family life4 99,w4,f4 ,lofthouse1 ,ethics and the ,family4 ,hodder ,stoughton1 #b4ej net4 ,the most important recent book on the family2 traces its historical development1 the ethical ideals involved in the institution1 and discusses its present problems and perplexities4 ,katherine ,g4 ,busby1 ,home ,life in ,america4 ,macmillan1 #b4jj net4 ,a popular statement of the outstanding characteristics of life in ,american homes2 entertaining and informing4 99,clyde ,w4 ,votaw1 ,progress of ,moral and ,religious ,education in the ,american ,home4 ,religious ,education ,association1 #j4be4 ,a careful and comprehensive survey1 of great value4 ,charles ,a4,l4 ,reed1 ,marriage and ,genetics4 ,galton ,press1 ,cincinnati1 ,ohio1 #a4jj4 ,a surgeon's message on eugenics1 especially on the aspects indicated in the title4 ,a study of the laws of human breeding4 ,,ii4 ,child ,nature 99,e4,p4 ,st4 ,john1 ,child ,nature and ,child ,nurture4 ,pilgrim ,press1 #j4ej4 ,a textbook dealing with the nature of the child and with problems of his training in the home4 99,irving ,king1 ,the ,high ,school ,age4 ,bobbs-,merrill ,co41 #a4jj net4 ,a study of the nature and needs of boys and girls in the first period of adolescence4 ,written for all who are alive to the problems of this period as well as for school people2 gives constructive suggestions for educational problems4 ,elizabeth ,harrison1 ,a ,study of the ,child ,nature4 ,chicago ,kindergarten ,college1 #a4jj4 ,long recognized as a standard for parents in the study of the development and functions of the child-life4 ,george ,e4 ,dawson1 ,the ,right of the ,child to ,be ,well ,born4 ,funk ,wagnalls1 #j4ge4 ,a plain study of eugenics1 non-technical and helpful2 includes a chapter on eugenics and religion4 ,to be commended to parents4 ,george ,e4 ,dawson1 ,the ,child and ,his ,religion4 ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press1 #j4ge4 ,the religious nature and needs of the child with some suggestions as to method4 99,w4 ,arter ,wright1 ,the ,moral ,conditions and ,development of the ,child4 ,jennings ,graham1 #j4ge4 ,an important and valuable book on the newer views of the religious development of the child-life4 ,frederick ,tracy and ,j4 ,stempfl1 ,the ,psychology of ,childhood4 ,d4,c4 ,heath ,co41 #a4bj4 ,gathers up the general results in the field of child psychology4 99,w4,g4 ,koons1 ,the ,child's ,religious ,life4 ,jennings ,graham1 #a4jj4 ,from the modern point of view1 dealing with some of the interesting problems of the relation of the child to religious life and the development of his religious ideas4 ,thomas ,stephens1 ,the ,child and ,religion4 ,putnam1 #a4ej4 ,a series of short papers by ,english writers1 particularly on the question of child conversion4 ,george ,a4 ,hubbell1 ,up through ,childhood4 ,putnam1 #a4be4 ,a good general review with special reference to religious problems and religious institutions4 ,edith ,e4,r4 ,mumford1 ,the ,dawn of ,character4 ,longmans1 ,green ,co41 #a4bj4 ,a very important book1 dealing especially with the moral development of young children4 ,,iii4 ,training in the ,home ,william ,b4 ,forbush 7ed471 ,guide ,book to ,childhood4 ,american ,institute of ,child ,life1 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,very valuable as a guide to reading on the many problems of child-training4 ,le,grand ,kerr1 ,the ,care and ,training of the ,child4 ,funk ,wagnalls1 #j4ge4 ,a good1 general1 brief study of the nature of the child and the method of education4 ,william ,j4 ,shearer1 ,the ,management and ,training of the ,child4 ,richardson1 ,smith ,co4 ,a popular and practical statement of many problems and their treatment in the home and school4 ,john ,wirt ,dinsmore1 ,the ,training of ,children4 ,american ,book ,co4 ,while written for school-teachers1 this is one of the best studies which parents could possibly read4 ,a4,a4 ,berle1 ,the ,school in the ,home4 ,moffat1 ,yard ,co41 #a4jj4 ,contains much valuable suggestion to parents who really desire to take advantage of the educational opportunities of the home4 ,john ,locke1 ,how to ,train ,up ,your ,children4 ,sampson1 ,low1 ,marston ,co41 ,london4 ,written over two hundred years ago1 and yet of very great value in many parts to day4 99,william ,b4 ,forbush1 ,the ,coming ,generation4 ,d4 ,appleton ,co41 #a4ej4 ,discusses the various aspects of child-training in the light of the social consciousness of today4 ,many of the public agencies for child betterment are carefully discussed4 99,william ,a4 ,mc,keever1 ,training the ,girl4 ,macmillan1 #a4ej4 99----1 ,training the ,boy4 ,macmillan1 #a4ej4 ,these two books constitute one of the best collections of material1 most practical and helpful4 ,they view girls and boys as active factors and all the phases of home and community life are studied with reference to their needs4 ,,iv4 ,special ,religious ,training in the ,home 99,george ,hodges1 ,the ,training of the ,child in ,religion4 ,d4 ,appleton ,co41 #a4ej4 ,one of the few books dealing in any modern manner with the special problems of the religious life of the family4 ,rev4 ,william ,becker1 ,christian ,education or ,the ,duties of ,parents4 ,b4 ,herder1 ,st4 ,louis1 #a4jj4 ,recent and interesting sermons on the duties of parents in the religious education of the ,catholic child2 a striking example of messages that ought to be heard from every pulpit4 ,john ,t4 ,faris1 ,pleasant ,sunday ,afternoons for the ,children4 ,sunday ,school ,times ,co41 #j4ej4 ,a number of practical plans are suggested4 99,george ,a4 ,coe1 ,education in ,religion and ,morals4 ,fleming ,h4 ,revell ,co41 #a4ce4 ,a book which all parents ought to read for its valuable guidance on the general principles of religious education4 ,elizabeth ,grinnell1 ,how ,john and ,i ,brought ,up the ,children4 ,american ,sunday ,school ,union1 #j4gj4 ,a popular statement in a simple form of methods of dealing with many of the problems of religious training4 ,v4 ,moral ,training ,edward ,h4 ,griggs1 ,moral ,education4 ,b4,w4 ,huebsch1 #a4fj4 ,one of the best-known books on this question1 readable and helpful at many points4 ,ennis ,richmond1 ,the ,mind of the ,child4 ,longmans1 ,green ,co41 #a4jj4 ,one of the most helpful books because of its new and refreshing point of view4 99,edward ,o4 ,sisson1 ,the ,essentials of ,character4 ,macmillan1 #a4jj4 ,a book on the broad principles and ideals2 one dealing with the outstanding elements of character4 ,ernest ,h4 ,abbott1 ,on the ,training of ,parents4 ,houghton ,mifflin ,co41 #a4jj4 ,a bright statement of some of the most perplexing problems of family life4 99,mary ,wood-,allen1 ,making the ,best of ,our ,children4 ,first and ,second ,series4 ,a4,c4 ,mc,clurg ,co41 #a4jj each4 ,takes one after another of the different situations in child-training4 99,patterson ,du,bois1 ,the ,culture of ,justice4 ,dodd1 ,mead ,co41 #j4ge4 ,an important contribution1 as it calls attention to some frequently neglected aspects of moral training especially applicable to the home4 ,walter ,l4 ,sheldon1 ,duties in the ,home4 ,w4,m4 ,welch ,co4 ,a textbook1 the thirty sections of which would furnish an excellent basis for parents' discussions of home discipline4 ,,vi4 ,general ,reading in the ,home ,john ,macy1 ,child's ,guide to ,reading4 ,baker ,taylor ,co41 #a4be4 ,a discussion of reading and the education of children thereby1 with suggestions and criticisms of suitable books in different departments of reading4 ,w4,t4 ,taylor1 ,finger ,posts to ,children's ,reading4 ,a4,c4 ,mc,clurg ,co41 #a4jj4 ,a practical discussion of suitable reading for children1 with a list of books4 99,g4,w4 ,arnold1 ,a ,mothers' ,list of ,books for ,children4 ,a4,c4 ,mc,clurg ,co41 #a4jj4 ,the books are arranged by ages and topics1 making this one of the most useful collections available4 ,edward ,p4 ,st4 ,john1 ,stories and ,story ,telling4 ,eaton ,mains1 #j4ce4 ,a textbook1 for parents' classes4 ,it contains much valuable material4 ,e4,m4 ,partridge1 ,story ,telling in ,school and ,home4 ,sturgis ,walton1 #a4ce4 ,one of the best discussions of the principles and methods of story-telling1 with a number of good stories4 ,,index ,activity in relation to character1 #ge ,amusement of young people1 #aij ,anger1 ,dealing with1 #bbd ,bible1 ,methods of using the1 #aba ,bible1 ,the1 in the home1 #aai ,blessing at table1 #acc ,book list on the family1 #bij ,books and reading1 #aac ,boy1 ,the1 in the family1 #agc ,boys' play1 #age ,bullying1 #bec ,character1 ,a constructive policy for1 #bfi ,child nature1 ,books on1 #bia ,child unity with the church1 #bjg ,child welfare1 ,religious meanings of1 #c ,childhood characteristics1 #ec ,christian family1 ,the1 as a type1 #da ,church1 ,the1 and the children1 #bjd ,church1 ,the1 and the family1 #aih ,church1 ,the1 and the program of the home1 #bga ,citizenship1 ,training for1 #if ,class work1 ,plans of1 #bha ,community1 ,the1 in relation to the home1 #hh ,community service1 #ia ,conversation1 ,religious1 #fb ,courtship1 #ahh ,dishonesty1 #bdi ,economic development of the home1 #ac ,educational function1 ,the1 of the family1 #df ,educational process1 ,the1 #di ,factory system1 ,the1 and the home1 #ad ,family as an institution1 ,books on the1 #bij ,family ,book1 #aee ,family defined1 #e ,family ideal in the church1 #bjb ,family life1 ,dominating motive of1 #bg ,family worship1 #abf ,family worship1 ,methods of1 #acc ,father1 ,the1 and the boy1 #agg ,father1 ,the1 and the family1 #bfc ,fighting among children1 #bcd ,function of the family1 #df ,future of the family1 #bfh ,girl1 ,the1 in the family1 #ahj ,god1 ,the consciousness of1 #fd ,grace at table1 #acc ,hebrew family life1 #ci ,home and school co-operation1 #bac ,home1 is it passing8 #aj ,home1 ,religious interpretation of1 #a ,home versus family1 #ah1 #bb ,honesty1 ,training in1 #bdi ,hymns for children1 #ajb ,jesus' teaching on the family1 #db ,loyalty as the basic principle1 #ca1 #ed ,loyalty1 ,the organization of1 #eg ,lying and the moral problem1 #bdj ,meals1 ,conversation at1 #afe ,moral crises1 ,dealing with1 #bah ,moral life1 religious roots in the family1 #ca ,moral teaching1 #gj ,moral training1 ,books on1 #bid ,motive1 ,religious1 in the family1 #b ,music in the family1 #aje ,organization of home1 ,purpose of1 #ai ,parental aversion1 #ahf ,parenthood and religious training1 #bfj ,parents' classes1 #bgd ,parents trained in schools1 #bad ,petulancy in children1 #bcc ,play activity1 #ajg ,play1 ,a policy of1 #aej ,play on ,sunday1 #adi ,prayers1 ,children's1 #ace ,prayers1 ,family1 #acg ,quarrels of children1 #bca ,questions1 ,children's1 #fi ,reading1 ,developing taste for1 #aae ,religious character of the family1 #df ,religious development of the child1 #eb ,religious education in the family1 ,books on1 #bic ,religious education1 ,meaning of1 #dg ,religious growth of the child1 #ee ,religious history of the family1 #cg ,religious ideas of children1 #fj ,religious service1 #gh1 #hj ,school1 ,the home as a1 #hg ,schools1 ,public1 and the home1 #bab ,self-control1 ,developing1 #bbg1 #bcf ,social life of youth1 #ahi ,social qualities to be developed1 #bh ,social training1 #bi1 #hb1 #ib ,socialization of the home1 #af ,song and story1 #aja ,spiritual values1 ,place of1 #cj ,stories and reading1 #aaj ,story-telling1 #aaj ,sunday afternoon problem1 #aed ,sunday in the home1 #ade ,sunday play1 #adi ,table1 ,ministry of the1 #afd ,table-talk1 #afi ,teasing and bullying1 #bec ,will1 ,training the1 #bba ,work and character1 #gf ,worship in the family1 #abf ,worship1 ,outlines of1 #aci ,youth in the home1 #ahc ,,printed ,,in ,,the ,u4,s4,a4 ,,the ,,constructive ,,studies ,the ,constructive ,studies comprise volumes suitable for all grades1 from kindergarten to adult years1 in schools or churches4 ,in the production of these studies the editors and authors have sought to embody not only their own ideals but the best product of the thought of all who are contributing to the theory and practice of modern religious education4 ,they have had due regard for fundamental principles of pedagogical method1 for the results of the best modern biblical scholarship1 and for those contributions to religious education which may be made by the use of a religious interpretation of all life-processes1 whether in the field of science1 literature1 or social phenomena4 ,their task is not regarded as complete because of having produced one or more books suitable for each grade4 ,there will be a constant process of renewal and change1 and the possible setting aside of books which1 because of changing conditions in the religious world or further advance in the science of religious education1 no longer perform their function1 and the continual enrichment of the series by new volumes so that it may always be adapted to those who are taking initial steps in modern religious education1 as well as to those who have accepted and are ready to put into practice the most recent theories4 ,as teachers profoundly interested in the problems of religious education1 the editors have invited to co-operate with them authors chosen from a wide territory and in several instances already well known through practical experiments in the field in which they are asked to write4 ,the editors are well aware that those who are most deeply interested in religious education hold that churches and schools should be accorded perfect independence in their choice of literature regardless of publishing-house interests and they heartily sympathize with this standard4 ,they realize that many schools will select from the ,constructive ,studies such volumes as they prefer1 but at the same time they hope that the ,constructive ,studies will be most widely serviceable as a series4 ,the following analysis of the series will help the reader to get the point of view of the editors and authors4 ,,kindergarten1 #d-f ,,years ,the kindergarten child needs most of all to gain those simple ideals of life which will keep him in harmony with his surroundings in the home1 at play1 and in the out-of-doors4 ,he is most susceptible to a religious interpretation of all these1 which can best be fostered through a program of story1 play1 handwork1 and other activities as outlined in ,the ,sunday ,kindergarten 7,ferris74 ,a teachers' manual giving directions for the use of a one- or two-hour period with story1 song1 play1 and handwork4 ,permanent and temporary material for the children's table work1 and story leaflets to be taken home4 ,,primary1 #f-h ,,years1 ,,grades ,i-,,iii ,at the age of six years when children enter upon a new era because of their recognition by the first grade in the public schools the opportunity for the cultivation of right social reactions is considerably increased4 ,their world still1 however1 comprises chiefly the home1 the school1 the playground1 and the phenomena of nature4 ,a normal religion at this time is one which will enable the child to develop the best sort of life in all these relationships1 which now present more complicated moral problems than in the earlier stage4 ,religious impressions may be made through interpretations of nature1 stories of life1 song1 prayer1 simple scripture texts1 and handwork4 ,all of these are embodied in ,child ,religion in ,song and ,story 7,chamberlin and ,kern74 ,three interchangeable volumes2 only one of which is used at one time in all three grades4 ,each lesson presents a complete service1 song1 prayers1 responses1 texts1 story1 and handwork4 ,constructive and beautiful handwork books are provided for the pupil4 ,,junior1 #i ,,years1 ,,grade ,,iv ,when the children have reached the fourth grade they are able to read comfortably and have developed an interest in books1 having a reading book in school and an accumulating group of story-books at home4 ,one book in the household is as yet a mystery1 the ,bible1 of which the parents speak reverently as ,god's ,book4 ,it contains many interesting stories and presents inspiring characters which are1 however1 buried in the midst of much that would not interest the children4 ,to help them to find these stories and to show them the living men who are their heroes or who were the writers of the stories1 the poems1 or the letters1 makes the ,bible to them a living book which they will enjoy more and more as the years pass4 ,this service is performed by ,an ,introduction to the ,bible for ,teachers of ,children 7,chamberlin74 ,story-reading from the ,bible for the school and home1 designed to utilize the growing interest in books and reading found in children of this age1 in cultivating an attitude of intelligent interest in the ,bible and enjoyment of suitable portions of it4 ,full instructions with regard to picturesque1 historical1 and social introductions are given the teacher4 ,a pupil's homework book1 designed to help him to think of the story as a whole and to express his thinking1 is provided for the pupil4 ,,junior1 #aj-ab ,,years1 ,,grades ,v-,,vii ,children in the fifth1 sixth1 and seventh grades are hero-worshipers4 ,in the preceding grade they have had a brief introduction to the life of ,jesus through their childish explorations of the gospels4 ,his character has impressed them already as heroic and they are eager to know more about him1 therefore the year is spent in the study of ,the ,life of ,jesus 7,gates74 ,the story of ,jesus graphically presented from the standpoint of a hero4 ,a teacher's manual contains full instructions for preparation of material and presentation to the class4 ,a partially completed story of ,jesus prepared for the introduction of illustrations1 maps1 and original work1 together with all materials required1 is provided for the pupil4 ,in the sixth grade a new point of approach to some of the heroes with whom the children are already slightly acquainted seems desirable4 ,the ,old ,testament furnishes examples of men who were brave warriors1 magnanimous citizens1 loyal patriots1 great statesmen1 and champions of democratic justice4 ,to make the discovery of these traits in ancient characters and to interpret them in the terms of modern boyhood and girlhood is the task of two volumes in the list4 ,the choice between them will be made on the basis of preference for handwork or textbook work for the children4 ,heroes of ,israel 7,soares74 ,stories selected from the ,old ,testament which are calculated to inspire the imagination of boys and girls of the early adolescent period4 ,the most complete instructions for preparation and presentation of the lesson are given the teacher in his manual4 ,the pupil's book provides the full text of each story and many questions which will lead to the consideration of problems arising in the life of boys and girls of this age4 ,old ,testament ,stories 7,corbett74 ,also a series of stories selected from the ,old ,testament4 ,complete instructions for vivid presentation are given the teacher in his manual4 ,the pupil's material consists of a notebook containing a great variety of opportunities for constructive handwork4 ,paul was a great hero4 ,most people know him only as a theologian4 ,his life presents miracles of courage1 struggle1 loyalty1 and self-abnegation4 ,the next book in the series is intended to help the pupil to see such a man4 ,the student is assisted by a wealth of local color4 ,paul of ,tarsus 7,atkinson74 ,the story of ,paul which is partially presented to the pupil and partially the result of his own exploration in the ,bible and in the library4 ,much attention is given to story of ,paul's boyhood and his adventurous travels1 inspiring courage and loyalty to a cause4 ,the pupil's notebook is similar in form to the one used in the study of ,gates's ,life of ,jesus1 but more advanced in thought4 ,,high ,,school1 #ac-ag ,,years ,in the secular school the work of the eighth grade is tending toward elimination4 ,it is1 therefore1 considered here as one of the high-school grades4 ,in the high-school years new needs arise4 ,there is necessary a group of books which will dignify the study of the ,bible and give it as history and literature a place in education1 at least equivalent to that of other histories and literatures which have contributed to the progress of the world4 ,this series is rich in biblical studies which will enable young people to gain a historical appreciation of the religion which they profess4 ,such books are ,the ,gospel ,according to ,mark 7,burton74 ,a study of the life of ,jesus from this gospel4 ,the full text is printed in the book1 which is provided with a good dictionary and many interesting notes and questions of very great value to both teacher and pupil4 ,the ,first ,book of ,samuel 7,willett74 ,textbook for teacher and pupil in which the fascinating stories of ,samuel1 ,saul1 and ,david are graphically presented4 ,the complete text of the first book of ,samuel is given1 many interesting explanatory notes1 and questions which will stir the interest of the pupil1 not only in the present volume but in the future study of the ,old ,testament4 ,the ,life of ,christ 7,burgess74 ,a careful historical study of the life of ,christ from the four gospels4 ,a manual for teacher and pupil presents a somewhat exhaustive treatment1 but full instructions for the selection of material for classes in which but one recitation a week occurs are given the teacher in a separate outline4 ,the ,hebrew ,prophets 7,chamberlin74 ,an inspiring presentation of the lives of some of the greatest of the prophets from the point of view of their work as citizens and patriots4 ,in the manual for teachers and pupils the biblical text in a good modern translation is included4 ,christianity in the ,apostolic ,age 7,gilbert74 ,a story of early ,christianity chronologically presented1 full of interest in the hands of a teacher who enjoys the historical point of view4 ,in the high-school years also young people find it necessary to face the problem of living the ,christian life in a modern world1 both as a personal experience and as a basis on which to build an ideal society4 ,to meet this need a number of books intended to inspire boys and girls to look forward to taking their places as home-builders and responsible citizens of a great ,christian democracy and to intelligently choose their task in it are prepared or in preparation4 ,the following are now ready3 ,problems of ,boyhood 7,johnson74 ,a series of chapters discussing matters of supreme interest to boys and girls1 but presented from the point of view of the boy4 ,a splendid preparation for efficiency in all life's relationships4 ,lives ,worth ,living 7,peabody74 ,a series of studies of important women1 biblical and modern1 representing different phases of life and introducing the opportunity to discuss the possibilities of effective womanhood in the modern world4 ,the ,third and ,fourth ,generation 7,downing74 ,a series of studies in heredity based upon studies of phenomena in the natural world and leading up to important historical facts and inferences in the human world4 ,,adult ,,group ,the ,biblical studies assigned to the high-school period are in most cases adaptable to adult class work4 ,there are other volumes1 however1 intended only for the adult group1 which also includes the young people beyond the high-school age4 ,they are as follows3 ,the ,life of ,christ 7,burton and ,mathews74 ,a careful historical study of the life of ,christ from the four gospels1 with copious notes1 reading references1 maps1 etc4 ,what ,jesus ,taught 7,slaten74 ,this book develops an unusual but stimulating method of teaching groups of students in colleges1 ,christian associations1 and churches4 ,after a swift survey of the material and spiritual environment of ,jesus this book suggests outlines for discussions of his teaching on such topics as civilization1 hate1 war and non-resistance1 democracy1 religion1 and similar topics4 ,can be effectively used by laymen as well as professional leaders4 ,great ,men of the ,christian ,church 7,walker74 ,a series of delightful biographies of men who have been influential in great crises in the history of the church4 ,christian ,faith for ,men of ,today 7,cook74 ,a re-interpretation of old doctrines in the light of modern attitudes4 ,social ,duties from the ,christian ,point of ,view 7,henderson74 ,practical studies in the fundamental social relationships which make up life in the family1 the city1 and the state4 ,religious ,education in the ,family 7,cope74 ,an illuminating study of the possibilities of a normal religious development in the family life4 ,invaluable to parents4 ,christianity and ,its ,bible 7,waring74 ,a remarkably comprehensive sketch of the ,old and the ,new ,testament religion1 the ,christian church1 and the present status of ,christianity4 ,it is needless to say that the ,constructive ,studies present no sectarian dogmas and are used by churches and schools of all denominational affiliations4 ,in the grammar-and high-school years more books are provided than there are years in which to study them1 each book representing a school year's work4 ,local conditions1 and the preference of the ,director of ,education or the teacher of the class will be the guide in choosing the courses desired1 remembering that in the preceding list the approximate place given to the book is the one which the editors and authors consider most appropriate4 ,for prices consult the latest price list4 ,address ,the ,university of ,chicago ,press ,chicago ,illinois