,transcribed from the #ahhg ,william ,blackwood and ,sons edition by ,david ,price1 email ccx#jgd;coventry4ac4uk ,,fashionable ,,philosophy ,,and ,,other ,,sketches ,title page3 title4jpg ,,by ,,laurence ,,oliphant ,,author ,,of ',,piccadilly1' ',,altiora ,,peto1' ',,masollam1' ,,etc4 ,,william ,,blackwood ,,and ,,sons ,,edinburgh ,,and ,,london ,,mdccclxxxvii ,,price ,,one ,,shilling ,,preface4 ,that railway travel is not1 as a rule1 conducive to serious thought1 may fairly be inferred from the class of literature displayed on the bookstalls at the stations4 ,i have therefore refrained from any attempt to excite the reflective faculties of the reader1 excepting in the first and third of the accompanying sketches1 and even in these have only ventured to suggest ideas1 the full scope and pregnancy of which it must be left to his own idiosyncrasy to appreciate and develop1 the more especially as they bear upon a certain current of investigation which has recently become popular4 ,i have to express my thanks to the ,editor of the ',nineteenth ,century ,review' for the kind permission he has granted me to reproduce ,the ,sisters of ,thibet2 and ,i avail myself of the opportunity thus afforded of removing the impression which1 to my surprise1 was conveyed to me by letters from numerous correspondents1 that the article contained any record of my own personal experiences4 ,the satire was suggested by the work of an author whose sincerity ,i do not doubt1 and for whose motives ,i have the highest respect1 in order to point out what appears to me the defective morality1 from an altruistic and practical point of view1 of a system of which he is the principal exponent in this country1 and which1 under the name of ,esoteric ,buddhism1 still seems to possess some fascination for a certain class of minds4 ,the other articles originally appeared in ',blackwood's ,magazine1' and ,i wish to express my acknowledgments to my publishers for their usual courtesy in allowing me to republish them in this form4 ,,athenaeum ,,club1 ,january #ahhg4 ,,contents4 ,fashionable ,philosophy ,the ,brigand's ,bride3 a tale of ,southern ,italy ,the ,sisters of ,thibet ,adolphus3 a comedy of affinities ,,fashionable ,,philosophy4 ,,scene--,a ,london ,drawing-room4 ,,time--#e o'clock ,p4,m4 ,the afternoon tea apparatus in one corner of the room1 and ,lady ,fritterly on a couch in another4 ,the ,hon4 ,mrs ,allmash is announced4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,how too kind1 dear1 of you to come1 and so early1 too6 ,i've got such a lot of interesting people coming1 and we are going to discuss the religion of the future4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,how quite delightful6 ,i do so long for something more substantial than the theologies of the past6 ,it is becoming quite puzzling to know what to teach one's children3 mine are getting old enough now to understand about things1 and one ought to teach them something4 ,i was talking about it to that charming ,professor ,germsell last night4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,well1 ,i hope he is coming presently1 so you will be able to continue your conversation4 ,then there is ,mr ,coldwaite1 the celebrated ,comtist2 and ,mr ,fussle1 who writes those delightful articles on prehistoric aesthetic evolution2 and ,mr ,drygull1 the eminent theosophist1 whose stories about esoteric ,buddhism are quite too extraordinary1 and who has promised to bring a ,khoja--a most interesting moral specimen1 my dear--who has just arrived from ,bombay2 and ,lord ,fondleton4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,lord ,fondleton6 ,i did not know that he was interested in such subjects4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,he says he is1 dear2 between ourselves--but this1 of course1 is strictly entre nous--,i rather think that it is ,i who interest him3 but ,i encourage him1 poor fellow2 it may wean him from the unprofitable life he is leading1 and turn his mind to higher things4 ,oh6 ,i almost forgot1---then there is my new beauty6 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,your new beauty6 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,yes2 if you could only have dined with me the other night1 you would have met her4 ,i had such a perfect little dinner4 ,just think6 ,a poet1 an actor1 a journalist1 a painter1 a wit1 and a new beauty4 ,i'll tell you how ,i found her4 ,she really belongs at present to ,lady ,islington and myself2 but of course1 now we have started her1 all the other people will snap her up4 ,we found that we both owed that vulgar upstart1 ,mrs ,houndsley1 a visit1 and went there together--because ,i always think two people are less easily bored than one--when suddenly the most perfect apparition you ever beheld stood before us2--an old master dress1 an immense pattern1 a large hat rim encircling a face1 some rich auburn hair inside1 and the face a perfect one4 ,well1 you know1 it turned out that she was not born in the purple--her husband is just a clerk in ,burley's ,bank2 but we both insisted on being introduced to her--for1 you see1 my dear1 there is no doubt about it1 she is a ready- made beauty4 ,the same idea occurred to ,lady ,islington1 so we agreed as we drove away that we would bring her out4 ,the result is1 that she went to ,islington ,house on ,tuesday1 and came to me on ,thursday1 and created a perfect furor on both occasions2 so now she is fairly started4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,how wonderfully clever and fortunate you are1 dear6 ,what is her name8 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,mrs ,gloring4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,oh yes2 everybody was talking about her at the ,duchess's last night4 ,i am dying to see her2 but they say that she is rather a fool4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,pure spite and jealousy4 ,yet that is the way these ,christian women of society obey the precept of their religion1 and love their neighbours as themselves4 ,lord ,fondleton is announced1 accompanied by a stranger4 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,how d'ye do1 ,lady ,fritterly8 ,i am sure you will excuse my taking the liberty of introducing ,mr ,rollestone1 a very old friend of mine1 to you2 he has only just returned to ,england1 after an absence of so many years that he is quite a stranger in ,london4 ,lady ,fritterly is delighted4 ,the rest of the party arrive in rapid succession4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,dear ,mr ,germsell1 ,i was just telling ,lady ,fritterly what an interesting conversation we were having last night when it was unfortunately interrupted4 ,i shall be so glad if you would explain more fully now what you were telling me4 ,i am sure everybody would be interested4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,oh do1 ,mr ,germsell2 it would be quite too nice of you4 ,and1 ,mr ,drygull1 will you ask the ,khoja to-- ,mr ,drygull4 ,my friend's name is ,ali ,seyyid1 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,pray excuse my stupidity1 ,mr ,allyside1 and come and sit near me4 ,lord ,fondleton1 find ,mrs ,gloring a chair4 ,lord ,fondleton aside to ,mrs ,gloring4 ,who's our black friend8 ,mrs ,gloring4 ,i am sure ,i don't know4 ,i think ,lady ,fritterly called him a codger4 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,ah1 he looks like it1--and a rum one at that1 as our ,american cousins say4 ,mrs ,gloring4 ,hush6 ,mr ,germsell is going to begin4 ,mr ,germsell4 ,mrs ,allmash asked me last night whether my thoughts had been directed to the topic which is uppermost just now in so many minds in regard to the religion of the future1 and ,i ventured to tell her that it would be found to be contained in the generalised expediency of the past4 ,mr ,fussle4 ,pardon me1 but the religion of the future must be the result of an evolutionary process1 and ,i don't see how generalisations of past expediency are to help the evolution of humanity4 ,germsell4 ,they throw light upon it2 and the study of the evolutionary process so far teaches us how we may evolve in the future4 ,for instance1 you have only got to think of evolution as divided into moral1 astronomic1 geologic1 biologic1 psychologic1 sociologic1 aesthetic1 and so forth1 and you will find that there is always an evolution of the parts into which it divides itself1 and that therefore there is but one evolution going on everywhere after the same manner4 ,the work of science has been not to extend our experience1 for that is impossible1 but to systematise it2 and in that systematisation of it will be found the religion of which we are in search4 ,drygull4 ,may ,i ask why you deem it impossible that our experience can be extended8 ,germsell4 ,because it has itself defined its limits4 ,the combined experience of humanity1 so far as its earliest records go1 has been limited by laws1 the nature of which have been ascertained3 it is impossible that it should be transcended without violation of the conclusions arrived at by positive science4 ,drygull4 ,i can more easily understand that the conclusions arrived at by men of science should be limited1 than that the experience of humanity should be confined by those conclusions2 but ,i fail to perceive why those philosophers should deny the existence of certain human faculties1 because they don't happen to possess them themselves4 ,i think ,i know a ,rishi who can produce experiences which would scatter all their conclusions to the winds1 when the whole system which is built upon them would collapse4 ,mrs ,gloring aside to ,lord ,fondleton4 ,pray1 ,lord ,fondleton1 can you tell me what a ,rishi is8 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,a man who has got into higher states1 you know--what ,i heard ,mr ,drygull call a transcendentalist the other day1 whatever that may be4 ,i don't understand much about these matters myself1 but ,i take it he is a sort of evolved codger4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,oh1 how awfully interesting6 ,dear ,mr ,drygull1 do tell us some of the extraordinary things the ,rishi can do4 ,drygull4 ,if you will only all of you listen attentively1 and if ,mr ,germsell will have the goodness to modify to some degree the prejudiced attitude of mind common to all men of science1 you will hear him as plainly as ,i can at this moment beating a tom-tom in his cottage in the ,himalayas4 ,mr ,germsell gets up impatiently1 and walks to the other end of the back drawing-room4 ,drygull casting a compassionate glance after him4 ,perhaps it is better so4 ,now please1 ,lady ,fritterly1 ,i must request a few moments of the most profound silence on the part of all4 ,you will not hear the sound as though coming from a distance1 but it will seem rather like a muffled drumming taking place inside your head1 scarcely perceptible at first1 when its volume will gradually increase4 ,lord ,fondleton aside to ,mrs ,gloring4 ,some bad champagne produced the same phenomenon in my head last night4 ,lady ,fritterly severely4 ,hush6 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,there is a dead silence for some minutes4 ,mrs ,gloring excitedly4 ,oh1 ,i hear it6 ,it is something like a woodpecker inside of one4 ,drygull4 ,not a word1 my dear madam1 if you please4 ,lady ,fritterly after a long pause4 ,i imagine ,i hear a very faint something2 there it goes--boom1 boom1 boom--at the back of my tympanum4 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,that's not like a woodpecker4 ,mrs ,gloring4 ,no2 it seems to me more like tic-tic-tic4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,how too tiresome6 ,i can't hear anything4 ,i suppose it is on account of the rumble of the carriages4 ,lord ,fondleton whispers to ,mrs ,gloring4 ,i hear something inside of me2 do you know what8 ,mrs ,gloring4 ,no2 what8 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,the beating of my own heart4 ,can't you guess for whom8 ,mrs ,gloring4 ,no4 ,perhaps the ,rishi makes it beat4 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,dear ,mrs ,gloring1 you are the ,rishi for whom-- ,mrs ,gloring4 ,hush6 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,there1 it is getting louder1 like distant artillery1 and yet so near4 ,oh1 ,mr ,drygull1 what a wonderful man the ,rishi must be6 ,drygull4 ,yes2 he knew that at this hour to-day ,i should need an illustration of his power1 and he is kindly furnishing us with one4 ,this is an experience which ,i think our friend over there looking towards ,mr ,germsell would find it difficult to classify4 ,germsell4 ,fussle1 have the goodness to step here for a moment--points to a woman beating a carpet in the back-yard of an adjoining house4 ,that is the tom-tom in the ,himalayas they are listening to4 ,fussle4 ,well1 now1 do you know1 ,i don't feel quite sure of that4 ,i was certainly conscious of a sort of internal hearing of something when you called me1 which was not that2 it was as though ,i had fiddlestrings in my head and somebody was beginning to strum upon them4 ,germsell4 ,fiddlestrings indeed--say rather fiddlesticks4 ,i am surprised at a sensible man like yourself listening to such nonsense4 ,fussle testily4 ,it is much greater nonsense for you to tell me ,i don't hear something ,i do hear1 than for me to hear something you can't hear4 ,you may be deaf1 while my sense of hearing may be evolving4 ,can you hear what ,lord ,fondleton is saying to ,mrs ,gloring at this moment8 ,germsell4 ,no1 and ,i don't want to4 ,fussle4 ,ah1 there it is4 ,you won't hear anything you don't want to4 ,now ,i can1 and he ought not to say it2--look how she is blushing4 ,oh1 ,i forgot you are short-sighted4 ,well1 you see1 ,i can hear further than you1 and see further than you4 ,why should you set a limit on the evolution of the senses1 and say that no man in the future can ever hear or see further than men have in the past8 ,how dare you1 sir1 with your imperfect faculties and your perfunctory method of research1 which can only cover an infinitesimal period in the existence of this planet1 venture to limit the potentialities of those laws which have already converted us from ascidians into men1 and which may as easily evolve in us the faculty of hearing tom-toms in the ,himalayas while we are sitting here1 as of that articulate speech or intelligent reasoning which1 owing to their operation1 we now possess8 ,germsell4 ,pardon me1 you do not possess them1 ,mr ,fussle4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,mr ,fussle1 might ,i ask you to take this cup of tea to ,mrs ,allmash8 ,mr ,germsell1 it would be too kind of you to hand ,mrs ,gloring the cake4 ,fussle savagely4 ,we will continue this conversation at the ,minerva4 ,mrs ,allmash apart to the ,khoja4 ,oh1 ,mr ,allyside1 ,i am so glad to hear that you speak ,english so perfectly6 ,i want you to tell me all about your religion2 perhaps it may help us1 you know1 to find the religion of the future1 which we are all longing for4 ,and ,i am so interested in oriental religions6 there is something so charmingly picturesque about them4 ,i quite dote on those dear old ,shastras1 and ,vedas1 and ,puranas2 they contain such a lot of beautiful things1 you know4 ,ali ,seyyid4 ,i know as little1 madam1 of the ,indian books you mention as ,i do of the ,bible1 which ,i have always heard was a very good book1 and contained also a great many beautiful things4 ,i am neither a ,hindoo nor a ,buddhist1--in fact1 it is forbidden to me by my religion to tell you exactly what ,i am4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,but indeed ,i won't tell anybody if you will only confide in me4 ,oh1 this mystery is too exquisitely delicious6 ,who knows1 perhaps you might make a convert of me8 ,ali ,seyyid with an admiring gaze4 ,madam1 you would be a prize so well worth winning1 that you almost tempt me4 ,the first of our secrets is that we are all things to all men1 until we are quite sure of the sympathy of the listener2 then we venture a step further4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,how wise that is6 and how unlike the system adopted by ,christians6 ,you may be sure of my most entire sympathy4 ,ali ,seyyid4 ,the next principle is--but this is a profound secret1 which you must promise not to repeat--the rejection of all fixed rules of religion or morality4 ,it really does not matter in the least what you do3 the internal disposition is the only thing of any value4 ,now1 as far as ,i understand1 you have already got rid of the religion1 or you would not be looking for a new one2 all you have to do is to get rid of the morality1 and there you are4 ,mrs ,allmash with an expression of horror and alarm4 ,yes1 there ,i should be indeed4 ,oh1 ,mr ,allyside1 what a dreadful man you are6 ,who started such an extraordinary doctrine8 ,ali ,seyyid4 ,well1 his name was ,hassan-bin-,saba--commonly known among ,westerns as the ,old ,man of the ,mountain4 ,his followers1 owing to the value they attached to murder as a remedial agent1 have been known by the name of the ,assassins4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,oh1 good gracious6 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,my dear ,louisa1 what is the matter8 ,you look quite frightened4 ,ali ,seyyid4 ,mrs ,allmash is a little alarmed because ,i proposed a new morality for the future1 as well as a new religion4 ,mr ,coldwaite4 ,excuse me2 but in discussions of this sort1 ,i think it is most important that we should clearly understand the meanings of the terms we employ4 ,now ,i deny that any difference subsists between religion and morality4 ,that any such distinction should exist in men's minds is due to the fact that dogma is inseparably connected with religion4 ,if you eliminate dogma1 what does religion consist of but morality8 ,substitute the love of ,humanity for the love of the ,unknowable--which is the subject of worship of ,mr ,germsell2 or of the ,deity1 who is the object of worship of the majority of mankind--and you obtain a stimulus to morality which will suffice for all human need4 ,it is in this great emotion1 as it seems to me1 that you will find at once the religion and the morality of the future4 ,germsell4 ,from what source do you get the force which enables you to love humanity with a devotion so intense that it shall elevate your present moral standard8 ,coldwaite4 ,from humanity itself4 ,i am not going to be entrapped into getting it from any unknowable source2 the love of humanity1 whether it be humanity as existing1 or when absorbed by death into the general mass1 is perpetually generating itself4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,then it must produce itself from what was there before2 therefore it must be the same love1 which keeps on going round and round4 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,a sort of circular love1 in fact4 ,i've often felt it3 but ,i didn't think it right to encourage it4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,lord ,fondleton1 how can you be so silly8 ,don't pay attention to him1 ,mr ,coldwaite4 ,i confess ,i still don't see how you can get a higher love out of humanity than humanity has already got in it1 unless you are to look to some other source for it4 ,coldwaite4 ,why1 mayn't it evolve from itself8 ,germsell4 ,how can it evolve without a propulsive force behind it8 ,the thing is too palpable an absurdity to need argument4 ,you can no more fix limits to the origin of force than you can destroy its persistency4 ,lord ,fondleton aside4 ,that seems to me one of those sort of things no fellow can understand4 ,germsell4 ,all you can say of it is that it is a conditioned effect of an unconditioned cause4 ,that no idea or feeling arises1 save as a result of some physical force expended in producing it1 is fast becoming a commonplace of science2 and whoever duly weighs the evidence will see that nothing but an overwhelming bias in favour of a preconceived theory can explain its non-acceptance4 ,i think my friend ,mr ,herbert ,spencer has demonstrated this conclusively4 ,coldwaite4 ,pardon me2 do ,i understand you to say that the mental process which enabled ,mr ,spencer to elaborate his system of philosophy1 or that the profound emotion which finds its expression in a love for humanity1 are the result of physical force alone8 ,germsell4 ,he says so himself1 and he ought to know4 ,his whole system of philosophy is nothing more nor less than the result of the liberation of certain forces produced by chemical action in the brain4 ,drygull4 ,then1 if ,i understand you rightly1 if the chemical changes which have been taking place for some years past in his brain had liberated a different set of forces1 we should have had altogether a different philosophy4 ,germsell4 ,the chemical changes would in that case have been different4 ,drygull4 ,but the changes must be produced by forces acting on them4 ,germsell4 ,exactly3 a force which has its source in the ,unknowable produces a certain chemical action in the brain by which it becomes converted into thought or emotion1 into love or philosophy1 into art or religion1 as the case may be3 what the nature of that love or philosophy1 or art or religion1 may be1 must depend entirely on the nature of the chemical change4 ,lord ,fondleton aside to ,mrs ,gloring4 ,i feel the most delightful chemical changes taking place now in my brain1 dear ,mrs ,gloring4 ,may ,i explain to you the exquisite nature of the forces that are being liberated1 and which produce emotions of the most tender character4 ,lady ,fritterly sharply4 ,what are you saying1 ,lord ,fondleton8 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,ahem--,i was saying--ahem--,i was saying that we shall be having some ,yankee inventing steam thinking-mills and galvanic loving- batteries soon4 ,what a lot of wear and tear it would save6 ,i should go about covered with a number of electric love-wires for the force to play upon4 ,fussle4 ,i think this matter wants clearing up1 ,mr ,germsell4 ,why don't you write a book on mental and emotional physics8 ,mr ,rollestone4 ,i would venture with great diffidence to remark that the confusion seems to me to arise from the limit we attach to the meaning of the word employed4 ,it may be quite true that no idea or emotion can exist except as the result of physical force2 but it is also true that its effect must be conditioned on the quality of the force4 ,there is as wide a difference between the physical forces operant in the brain1 and which give rise to ideas1 and those which move a steam-engine1 as there is between mind and matter as popularly defined4 ,both1 as ,mr ,germsell will admit1 are conditioned manifestations of force2 but the one contains a vital element in its dynamism which the other does not4 ,you may apply as much physical force by means of a galvanic battery to a dead brain as you please1 but you can't strike an idea out of it2 and this vital force1 while it is conditioned force1 like light and heat1 differs in its mode of manifestation from every other manifestation of force1 even more than they do from each other1 in that it possesses a potency inherent to it1 which they have not1 and this potency it is which creates emotion and generates ideas4 ,the fallacy which underlies the whole of this system of philosophy is contained in the assumption that there is only one description of physical force in nature4 ,germsell4 ,no more there is4 ,why1 ,mr ,spencer says that the law of metamorphosis which holds among the physical forces1 holds equally between them and the mental forces2 but mark you1 what is the grand conclusion at which he arrives8 ,i happen to remember the passage3 ,how this metamorphosis takes place2 how a force existing1 as motion1 heat1 or light1 can become a mode of consciousness2 how it is possible for aerial vibrations to generate the sensation we call sound2 or for the forces liberated by chemical changes in the brain to give rise to emotion1--these are mysteries which it is impossible to fathom4 ,lord ,fondleton aside to ,mrs ,gloring4 ,what a jolly easy way of getting out of a difficulty6 ,drygull4 ,of course1 if you admit such gross ignorance as to how it is possible for aerial vibrations to generate the sensation we call sound1 ,i don't wonder at your not hearing the tom-tom in the ,himalayas we were listening to just now4 ,if you knew a little more about the astral law under which aerial vibrations may be generated1 you would not call things impossible which you admit to be unfathomable mysteries4 ,if it is an unfathomable mystery how a sound is projected a mile1 why do you refuse to admit the possibility of its being projected two1 or two hundred1 or two thousand8 ,under the laws which govern mysteries1 which you say are unfathomable1 if the mystery is unfathomable1 so is the law1 and you have no right to limit its action4 ,rollestone4 ,to come back to the question of a possible distinction in the essential or inherent qualities of dynamic or physical forces4 ,there is nothing in the hypothesis which may not be reasonably assumed and tested by experiment2 and before any man has a right to affirm that there is only one quality of physical force in nature1 which1 by undergoing transformation and metamorphosis1 shall account for all its phenomena1 ,i have a right to ask whether the hypothesis1 that there may be another1 has been experimentally tested4 ,it would then be time for me to accept the conclusion that there is only one1 and that it is an unfathomable mystery how this one force should be able to perform all the functions attributed to it4 ,germsell4 ,i admit that the forces called vital are correlates of the forces called physical1 if you choose to call that a distinction2 but their character is conditioned by the state of the brain1 and it comes to the same thing in the end4 ,the seat of emotion as well as of thought is the brain1 and it entirely depends on its chemical constitution1 on its circulation1 and on other causes affecting that organ1 what you think1 and feel1 and say1 and do4 ,people's characters differ because their brains do1 not because there is any difference in the vital force which animates them4 ,rollestone4 ,you might as well say that sounds differ because their aerial vibrations differ1 but those vibrations only differ because the force makes them differ which is acting upon them4 ,they don't generate tunes1 but convey them4 ,and the result1 so far as our hearing is concerned1 depends upon what are called the acoustic conditions under which the vibrations take place4 ,just so the brain possesses no generating function of its own2 it deals with and transmits the ideas and emotions projected upon it according to the organic conditions by which it may be affected at the time1 whether those ideas and emotions are produced by external stimuli1 or apparently1 but only apparently1 as ,i believe1 owe their origin to genesis in the brain itself4 ,in the one case the brain is vibrating to the touch of an external force1 in the other to one that is internal and unseen1 just as the air does when it transmits sound1 whether you see the cause which produces it or not2 and the mystery which remains to be fathomed1 but which ,i do not admit to be unfathomable until somebody tries to fathom it1 is the nature of those unseen forces4 ,germsell4 ,how would you propose to try and fathom it8 ,rollestone4 ,by experiment3 ,i know of no other way4 ,the forces which generate emotions and ideas must possess a moral quality3 the experiments must therefore be moral experiments4 ,germsell4 ,how do you set to work to experimentalise morally8 ,rollestone4 ,as the process must of necessity be a purely personal one1 carried on1 if ,i may use the expression1 in one's own moral organism1 ,i have a certain delicacy in attempting to describe it4 ,in fact1 ,lady ,fritterly1 if you will allow me to say so1 as the whole subject which has been under discussion this afternoon is the most profoundly solemn which can engage the attention of a human being1 ,i shrink from entering upon it as fully as ,i would do under other circumstances4 ,i people begin to want a new religion because it is the fashion to want one1 ,i venture to predict that they will never find it4 ,if they want a new religion because they can't come up to the moral standard of the one they have got1 then ,i would advise them to look rather to that unseen force within them1 which ,i have been attempting to describe to ,mr ,germsell1 for the potency which may enable them to reach it4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,indeed1 ,mr ,rollestone1 we are all exceedingly in earnest4 ,i never felt so serious in my life4 ,of course this ,london life must all seem very frivolous to you2 but that we can't help1 you know4 ,we can't all go away and make moral experiments like you4 ,what we feel is1 that we ought all to endeavour as much as possible to introduce a more serious tone into society4 ,we want to get rid of the selfishness1 and the littlenesses1 and the petty ambitions and envyings1 and the scandals that go on4 ,don't we1 ,louisa1 dear8 ,and you can't think how grateful ,i am to ,lord ,fondleton for having given me the pleasure of your acquaintance4 ,i hope ,i may often see you2 ,i am sure you would do us all so much good4 ,you will always find me at home on ,sunday afternoons at this hour4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,it is so refreshing to meet any one so full of information and earnestness as you are1 in this wicked1 jaded ,london4 ,please go on1 ,mr ,rollestone2 what you were saying was so interesting4 ,have you really been experimentalising on your own moral organism8 ,how quite too extraordinary6 ,lord ,fondleton aside to ,mrs ,gloring4 ,by ,jove6 ,i had no idea old ,rollestone could come out in this line4 ,he is a regular dark horse4 ,i should never have suspected it4 ,he will be first favourite in ,london this season1 and win in a canter4 ,coldwaite4 ,you will excuse me1 ,mr ,rollestone1 but ,i really am interested1 and ,i really am serious4 ,it was with no idle curiosity that ,i was waiting to hear your answer to ,mr ,germsell's inquiry1 as to the nature of the moral experiment necessary to test the character of this unseen force4 ,rollestone4 ,i can only say that any experiment which deals with the affectional and emotional part of one's nature must be painful in the extreme4 ,there is1 indeed1 only one motive which would induce one to undergo the trials1 sufferings1 sacrifices1 and ordeals which it involves--and that is one in which you will sympathise3 it is the hope that humanity may benefit by the result of one's efforts4 ,indeed1 any lower motive than this would vitiate them4 ,i will venture to assert to ,mr ,germsell1 who is so sceptical as to the existence of any other quality in that force1 which he can only fathom so far as to know that it is physical1 that ,i will put him through a course of experiment which will cause him more acute moral suffering than his brain could bear1 unless it was sustained by a force which1 by that experimental process1 will reveal attributes contained in it not dreamt of in his philosophy4 ,germsell4 ,i have no doubt you could strain my mind until it was weak enough to believe anything1 even your fantastic theories4 ,thank you1 ,i would rather continue to experiment with my own microscope and forceps than let you experiment either upon my affections or my brains4 ,fussle aside to ,mr ,rollestone4 ,you could not make anything of them even if he consented--the former don't exist1 and the latter are mere putty--but ,i can quite understand your desire to begin in corpore vili4 ,lord ,fondleton aside to ,mrs ,gloring4 ,allow me freely to offer you my affections as peculiarly adapted to experiments of this nature4 ,rollestone4 ,it has always struck me as strange that men of science1 who don't shrink from testing1 for instance1 the value of poisons1 or the nature of disease1 by heroically subjecting their own external organisms to their action1 should shrink from experimenting on that essential if remote vitalising force1 which can only be reached by moral experiment1 and disorder in which produces not only moral obliquity and mental alienation1 but physical disease as well4 ,fussle4 ,thus a man may die of apoplexy brought on by a fit of passion4 ,cure his temper1 and you lessen the danger of apoplexy2 that1 ,i take it1 is an illustration of what you mean4 ,rollestone4 ,in its most external application it is2 the question is where his bad temper comes from1 and whether1 as ,mr ,germsell would maintain1 it is entirely due to his cerebral condition1 and not to the moral qualities inherent in the force1 which1 acting on peculiar cerebral conditions1 causes one man's temper to differ from another's4 ,it is not the liberated force which generates the temper4 ,for that you have to go farther back2 and the reason why research is limited in this direction is not because it is impossible to go farther back1 but because it must inevitably entail1 as ,i have already said1 acute personal suffering4 ,nor1 as these experiments must be purely personal1 and involve experiences of an entirely novel kind1 is it possible to discuss them except with those who have participated in them4 ,one might as well attempt to describe the emotion of love to a man whose affections had never been called forth4 ,if ,i have alluded to them so fully now1 it is because they justify me in making the assertion1 for which ,i can offer no other proof than they have afforded to me personally1 that a force does exist in nature possessing an inherent spiritual potency--,i use the word spiritual for lack of a better--which is capable of lifting humanity to a higher moral plane of daily living and acting than that which it has hitherto attained4 ,but ,i fear ,i am trespassing on your patience in having said thus much4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,oh no1 ,mr ,rollestone2 please go on4 ,there is something so delightfully fresh and original in all you are saying1 ,i can't tell you how much you interest me4 ,germsell aside4 ,i know a milkmaid quite as fresh and rather more original4 ,aloud1 looking at his watch4 ,bless me6 it is past six1 and ,i have an appointment at the club at six4 ,so sorry to tear myself away1 dear ,lady ,fritterly4 ,i can't tell you how ,i have enjoyed the intellectual treat you have provided for me4 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,i thank you so much for coming4 ,i hope you will often look in on our ,sundays4 ,i think1 you know1 that these little conversations are so very improving4 ,germsell4 ,you may rely upon me2 it is impossible to imagine anything more interesting4 ,mutters as he leaves the room4 ,no1 ,lady ,fritterly1 this is the last time ,i enter this house1 except perhaps to dinner4 ,you don't catch me again making one of your ,sunday afternoon collection of bores and idiots4 ,what an insufferable prig that ,rollestone is6 ,fussle aside to ,drygull4 ,thank heaven1 that pompous nuisance has taken himself off6 ,drygull aside to ,fussle4 ,i don't know which ,i dislike most--the ,pharisee of science or the ,pharisee of religion4 ,rollestone4 ,if1 then1 you admit that the human organism not only cannot generate force1 but that the emotions which control the body are in their turn generated by a force which is behind it1 and that this force is dependent for its manifestation on its own special conditions1 as well as on those of its transmitting organic medium1 ,i venture to assert that experiment in the direction ,i have suggested will prove to our consciousness that the moral or spiritual quality of the original invading force is a pure one1 and that the degree of its pollution in the human frame is the effect of inherited and other organic conditions2 and the question which presents itself to the experimentalist is1 whether by an effort of the will this same force may not be evoked to change and purify those conditions4 ,indeed the very effort is in itself an invocation1 and if made unflinchingly1 will not fail to meet with a response4 ,much that has heretofore been to earnest seekers unknowable will become knowable1 and a love1 ,mr ,coldwaite1 higher1 if that be possible1 than the love of humanity1 yet correlative with and inseparable from it1 will be found pressing with an irresistible potency into those vacant spaces of the human heart1 which have from all time yearned for a closer contact with the ,great ,source of all love and of all force4 ,it is in this attempt to sever the love of humanity from its ,author1 that the ,positivist philosophy has failed3 it is the worship of a husk without the kernel1 of a body without the soul2 and hence it will never satisfy the human aspiration4 ,that aspiration is ever the same2 it needs1 if you will allow me to say so1 ,lady ,fritterly1 no new religion to satisfy its demands4 ,if the world is of late beginning to feel dissatisfied with ,christianity1 it is not because the moral standard which that religion proposes is not sufficiently lofty for its requirements1 but because1 after eighteen hundred years of effort1 its professors have altogether failed to reach that standard4 ,christianity seems a failure because ,christians have failed--have failed to understand its application to everyday life1 have failed to embody it in practice1 and have sought an escape from the apparent impossibility of doing so1 by smothering it with dogmas1 and diverting its scope from this world to the next4 ,it will be time to look for a new religion1 when we have succeeded in the literal application of the ethics of the one we have got to the social and economic problems of daily life4 ,it is not by any intellectual effort or scientific process that the discovery will be made of how this is to be done1 but by the introduction into the organism of new and unsuspected potencies of moral force which have hitherto lain dormant in nature1 waiting for the great invocation of wearied and distressed humanity4 ,there can be no stronger evidence of the approach of this new force1 destined to make the ethics of ,christianity a practical social standard1 than the growing demand of society for a new religion4 ,it is the inarticulate utterance of the quickened human aspiration1 in itself a proof that these new potencies are already stirring the dry bones of ,christendom1 and a sure earnest that their coming in answer to that aspiration will not be long delayed4 ,drygull4 ,of course1 ,i entirely disagree with you as to any such necessity in regard to the moral requirements of the world1 existing4 ,you must have met1 in the course of your travels1 that more enlightened and initiated class of ,buddhists1 with whom ,i sympathise1 who are quite indifferent to considerations of this nature4 ,rollestone4 ,and who were too much occupied with their subjective prospects in ,nirvana1 to be affected by the needs of terrestrial humanity4 ,drygull4 ,quite so4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,and1 ,mr ,allyside1 ,i am afraid you are equally indifferent4 ,ali ,seyyid4 ,i am certainly not indifferent to the discovery of any force latent in ,christendom which may check the force of its cupidity1 and put a stop to the exploitation and subjugation of ,eastern countries for the sake of advancing its own material interests1 under the specious pretext of introducing the blessings of civilisation4 ,coldwaite4 ,you have certainly presented the matter in a light which is altogether new to me1 ,mr ,rollestone1 and upon which1 therefore1 ,i am not now prepared to express an opinion4 ,i should like to discuss the subject with you further privately4 ,rollestone4 ,it is a subject which should never be discussed except privately4 ,mrs ,allmash4 ,now1 ,i should say1 ,mr ,rollestone1 on the contrary1 that it was just a subject you ought to write a book about4 ,you would have so much to tell1--all your personal experiments1 you know2 now do4 ,fussle4 ,take my advice1 ,mr ,rollestone1 and don't4 ,you would have very few readers1 and those who read you would only sneer at what they would call your crude ideas2 and indeed1 you will excuse me for saying so1 but ,i am not sure that they would not be right4 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,i quite disagree with you1 ,mr ,fussle4 ,if ,rollestone would write a book which would put a stop to this religion of the future business1 he would earn the gratitude of society4 ,do you know1 ,i am getting rather bored with it4 ,fussle4 ,not if he introduced instead a latent force1 which should overturn all existing institutions1 and revolutionise society--which it would inevitably have to do if we were all coerced by it into adopting literally the ethics of ,christianity1 instead of merely professing them4 ,why1 the ,sermon on the ,mount alone1 practised to the letter1 would produce a general destruction4 ,church and ,state1 and the whole economic system upon which society is based1 would melt away before it like an iceberg under a tropical sun4 ,i don't mind discussing the religion of the future as a subject of interesting speculation2 but1 depend upon it1 we had better let well alone4 ,it seems to me that we--at least those of us who are well off--have nothing to complain of4 ,let us trust to the silent forces of evolution4 ,see how much they have lately done for us in the matter of art4 ,what can be pleasanter than this gentle process of aesthetic development which our higher faculties are undergoing8 ,with due deference to ,mr ,rollestone1 ,i think we shall be far better employed in cultivating our taste1 than in probing our own organisms in the hope of discovering forces which may enable us to apply a perfectly unpractical system of morality1 to a society which has every reason to be satisfied with the normal progress it is making4 ,mrs ,gloring4 ,indeed1 ,mr ,rollestone1 ,i agree with you a great deal more than with ,mr ,fussle4 ,i should like to call out a higher moral force in myself--but ,i should never have the courage to undergo all the ordeals you say it would involve2 ,i am too weak to try4 ,lord ,fondleton4 ,of course you are1--don't6 ,you are much nicer as you are4 ,why1 ,rollestone1 you would make all the women detestable if you could have your way4 ,rollestone4 ,i don't think there is any immediate cause for alarm on that score4 ,mrs ,allmash rising4 ,dearest ,augusta1 ,i am afraid ,i must run away3 thank you so much1 for such a treat4 ,all rise ,mrs ,gloring1 we have all been so deeply interested1 that we have scarcely been able to exchange a word1 but ,i hope we shall see a great deal of each other this year4 ,i have a few people coming to me to-morrow evening2 do you think you can spare a moment from your numerous engagements8 ,lady ,fritterly and ,lord ,fondleton are coming2 and perhaps1 ,mr ,drygull1 you will come1 and bring ,mr ,allyside4 ,mr ,fussle1 ,i know it is useless to expect you2 and ,i cannot venture to ask ,mr ,rollestone to anything so frivolous4 ,but perhaps you will dine with me on ,thursday--you will meet some congenial spirits4 ,rollestone4 ,thank you1 but ,i fear it will be impossible1 as ,i leave ,london to-morrow4 ,good-bye1 ,lady ,fritterly4 ,forgive me1 an utter stranger1 for having so far obtruded my experiences upon you1 and for venturing finally to suggest that it is in our own hearts that we should search for the religion that we need2 for is it not written1 ,the kingdom of heaven is within you8 ,,the ,,brigand',s ,,bride3 ,a ,,tale ,,of ,,southern ,,italy4 ,the ,italian peninsula during the years #ahei-fj-fa offered a particularly tempting field for adventure to ardent spirits in search of excitement2 and1 attracted partly by my sympathy with the popular movement1 and partly by that simple desire1 which gives so much zest to the life of youth1 of risking it on all possible occasions1 ,i had taken an active part1 chiefly as an officious spectator1 in all the principal events of those stirring years4 ,it was in the spring of #ahfb that ,i found matters beginning to settle down to a degree that threatened monotony2 and with the termination of the winter gaieties at ,naples and the close of the ,san ,carlo1 ,i seriously bethought me of accepting the offer of a naval friend who was about to engage in blockade-running1 and offered to land me in the ,confederate ,states1 when a recrudescence of activity on the part of the brigand bands in ,calabria induced me to turn my attention in that direction4 ,the first question ,i had to consider was1 whether ,i should enjoy myself most by joining the brigands1 or the troops which were engaged in suppressing them4 ,as the former aspired to a political character1 and called themselves patriotic bands fighting for their ,church1 their country1 and their ,king--the refugee monarch of ,naples--one could espouse their cause without exactly laying one's self open to the charge of being a bandit2 but it was notorious in point of fact that the bands cared for neither the ,pope nor the exiled ,king nor their annexed country1 but committed the most abominable atrocities in the names of all the three1 for the simple purpose of filling their pockets4 ,i foresaw not only extreme difficulty in being accepted as a member of the fraternity1 more especially as ,i had hitherto been identified with the ,garibaldians2 but also the probability of finding myself compromised by acts from which my conscience would revolt1 and for which my life would in all likelihood pay the forfeit4 ,on the other hand1 ,i could think of no friend among the officers of the ,bersaglieri and cavalry regiments1 then engaged in brigand-hunting in the ,capitanata and ,basilicata1 to whom ,i could apply for an invitation to join them4 ,under these circumstances1 ,i determined to trust to the chapter of accidents2 and armed with a knapsack1 a sketch-book1 and an air-gun1 took my seat one morning in the ,foggia diligence1 with the vague idea of getting as near the scene of operations as possible1 and seeing what would turn up4 ,the air-gun was not so much a weapon of offence or defence as a means of introduction to the inhabitants4 ,it had the innocent appearance of rather a thick walking-cane1 with a little brass trigger projecting2 and in the afternoon ,i would join the group sitting in front of the chemist's1 which1 for some reason or other1 is generally a sort of open-air club in a small ,neapolitan town1 or stroll into the single modest cafe of which it might possibly boast1 and toy abstractedly with the trigger4 ,this1 together with my personal appearance--for do what ,i would1 ,i could never make myself look like a ,neapolitan--would be certain to attract attention1 and some one bolder than the rest would make himself the spokesman1 and politely ask me whether the cane in my hand was an umbrella or a fishing-rod2 on which ,i would amiably reply that it was a gun1 and that ,i should have much pleasure in exhibiting my skill and the method of its operation to the assembled company4 ,then the whole party would follow me to an open space1 and ,i would call for a pack of cards1 and possibly--for ,i was a good shot in those days--pink the ace of hearts at fifteen paces4 ,at any rate my performances usually called forth plaudits1 and this involved a further interchange of compliments and explanations1 and the production of my sketch-book1 which soon procured me the acquaintance of some ladies and an invitation as an ,english artist1 to the house of some respectable citizen4 ,so it happened that1 getting out of the diligence before it reached ,foggia1 ,i struck south1 and wandered for some days from one little town to another1 being always hospitably entertained1 whether there happened to be an albergo or not1 at private houses1 seeing in this way more of the manners and customs of the inhabitants than would have been otherwise possible1 gaining much information as to the haunts of the brigands1 the whereabouts of the troops1 and hearing much local gossip generally4 ,the ignorance of the most respectable classes at this period was astounding2 it has doubtless all changed since4 ,i have been at a town of #bjjj inhabitants1 not one of whom took in a newspaper3 the whole population1 therefore1 was in as profound ignorance of what was transpiring in the rest of the world as if they had been in ,novaia ,zemlia4 ,i have stayed with a mayor who did not know that ,england was an island2 ,i have been the guest of a citizen who had never heard of ,scotland1 and to whom1 therefore1 my nationality was an enigma3 but ,i never met any one--,i mean of this same class--who had not heard of ,palmerston4 ,he was a mysterious personage1 execrated by the blacks and adored by the reds4 ,and ,i shone with a reflected lustre as the citizen of a country of which he was the ,prime ,minister4 ,as a consequence1 we had political discussions1 which were protracted far into the night1 for the principal meal of the twenty-four hours was a #aj o'clock ,p4,m4 supper1 at which1 after the inevitable macaroni1 were many unwholesome dishes1 such as salads made of thistles1 cows' udders1 and other delicacies1 which deprived one of all desire for sleep4 ,notwithstanding which1 we rose early1 my hostess and the ladies of the establishment appearing in the early part of the day in the most extreme deshabille4 ,indeed1 on one occasion when ,i was first introduced into the family of a respectable citizen1 and shown into my bedroom1 ,i mistook one of two females who were making the bed for the servant1 and was surprised to see her hand a little douceur ,i gave her as an earnest of attention on her part1 to the other with a smile4 ,she soon afterwards went to bed3 we all did1 from #aa ,a4,m4 till about #c ,p4,m41 at which hour ,i was horrified to meet her arrayed in silks and satins1 and to find that she was the wife of my host4 ,she kindly took me a drive with her in a carriage and pair1 and with a coachman in livery4 ,it was by this simple means1 and by thus imposing myself upon the hospitality of these unsophisticated people1 that ,i worked my way by slow degrees1 chiefly on foot1 into the part of the country ,i desired to visit2 and ,i trust that ,i in a measure repaid them for it by the stores of information which ,i imparted to them1 and of which they stood much in need1 and by little sketches of their homes and the surrounding scenery1 with which ,i presented them4 ,i was1 indeed1 dependent in some measure for hospitality of this description1 as ,i had taken no money with me1 partly because1 to tell the truth1 ,i had scarcely got any1 and partly because ,i was afraid of being robbed by brigands of the little ,i had4 ,i therefore eschewed the character of a milordo ,inglese2 but ,i never succeeded in dispelling all suspicion that ,i might not be a nephew of the ,queen1 or at least a very near relative of ,palmerston in disguise4 ,it was so natural1 seeing what a deep interest both her ,majesty and the ,prime ,minister took in ,italy1 that they should send some one incognito whom they could trust to tell them all about it4 ,meantime1 ,i was not surprised1 when ,i came to know the disposition of the inhabitants1 at the success of brigandage4 ,it has never been my fortune before or since to live among such a timid population4 ,one day at a large town a leading landed proprietor received notice that if he did not pay a certain sum in black-mail1--,i forget at this distance of time the exact amount1--his farm or masseria would be robbed4 ,this farm1 which was in fact a handsome country-house1 was distant about ten miles from the town4 ,he therefore made an appeal to the citizens that they should arm themselves1 and help him to defend his property1 as he had determined not to pay1 and had taken steps to be informed as to the exact date when the attack was to be made in default of payment4 ,more than #cjj citizens enrolled themselves as willing to turn out in arms4 ,on the day preceding the attack by the brigands1 a rendezvous was given to these #cjj on the great square for five in the morning1 and thither ,i accordingly repaired1 unable1 however1 to induce my host to accompany me1 although he had signed as a volunteer4 ,on reaching the rendezvous1 ,i found the landed proprietor and a friend who was living with him1 and about ten minutes afterwards two other volunteers strolled up4 ,five was all we could muster out of #cjj4 ,it was manifestly useless to attempt anything with so small a force1 and no arguments could induce any of the others to turn out3 so the unhappy gentleman had the satisfaction of knowing that the brigands had punctually pillaged his place1 carrying off all his live stock on the very day and at the very hour they said they would4 ,as for the inhabitants venturing any distance from town1 except under military escort1 such a thing was unknown1 and all communication with ,naples was for some time virtually intercepted4 ,i was regarded as a sort of monomaniac of recklessness1 because ,i ventured on a solitary walk of a mile or two in search of a sketch1--an act of no great audacity on my part1 for ,i had walked through various parts of the country without seeing a brigand1 and found it difficult to realise that there was any actual danger in strolling a mile from a moderately large town4 ,emboldened by impunity1 ,i was tempted one day to follow up a most romantic glen in search of a sketch1 when ,i came upon a remarkably handsome peasant girl1 driving a donkey before her loaded with wood4 ,my sudden appearance on the narrow path made the animal shy against a projecting piece of rock1 off which he rebounded to the edge of the path1 which1 giving way1 precipitated him and his load down the ravine4 ,he was brought up unhurt against a bush some twenty feet below1 the fagots of wood being scattered in his descent in all directions4 ,for a moment the girl's large fierce eyes flashed upon me with anger2 but the impetuosity with which ,i went headlong after the donkey1 with a view of repairing my error1 and the absurd attempts ,i made to reverse the position of his feet1 which were in the air1 converted her indignation into a hearty fit of laughter1 as1 seeing that the animal was apparently uninjured1 she scrambled down to my assistance4 ,by our united efforts we at last succeeded in hoisting the donkey up to the path1 and then ,i collected the wood and helped her to load it again--an operation which involved a frequent meeting of hands1 and of the eyes1 which had now lost the ferocity that had startled me at first1 and seemed getting more soft and beaming every time ,i glanced at them1 till at last1 producing my sketch- book1 ,i ventured to remark1 ,ah1 signorina1 what a picture you would make6 ,now that the ass is loaded1 let me draw you before we part1 that ,i may carry away the recollection of the loveliest woman ,i have seen4 ,first draw the donkey1 she replied1 that ,i may carry away a recollection of the galantuomo who first upset him over the bank1 and then helped me to load him4 ,smiling at this ambiguous compliment1 ,i gave her the sketch she desired1 and was about to claim my reward1 when she abruptly remarked-- ,there is not time now2 it is getting late1 and ,i must not linger1 as ,i have still an hour to go before reaching home4 ,how is it that you are not afraid to be wandering in this solitary glen by yourself8 ,do you not know the risks8 ,i have heard of them1 but ,i do not believe in them1 ,i said2 besides1 ,i should be poor plunder for robbers4 ,but you have friends1 who would pay to ransom you1 ,i suppose1 if you were captured8 ,my life is not worth a hundred scudi to any of them1 ,i replied1 laughing2 but ,i am willing to forego the pleasure of drawing you now1 bellissima1 if you will tell me where you live1 and let me come and paint you there at my leisure4 ,you're a brave one1 she said1 with a little laugh2 there is not another man in all ,ascoli who would dare to pay me a visit without an escort of twenty soldiers4 ,but ,i am too grateful for your amiability to let you run such a risk4 ,addio1 ,signer ,inglese4 ,there are many reasons why ,i can't let you draw my picture1 but ,i am not ungrateful1 see6--and she offered me her cheek1 on which ,i instantly imprinted a chaste and fraternal salute4 ,don't think that you've seen the last of me1 carissima1 ,i called out1 as she turned away4 ,i shall live on the memory of that kiss till ,i have an opportunity of repeating it4 ,and as ,i watched her retreating figure with an artist's eye1 ,i was struck with its grace and suppleness1 combined1 as ,i had observed while she was helping me to load the donkey1 with an unusual degree of muscular strength for a woman4 ,the spot at which this episode had taken place was so romantic1 that ,i determined to make a sketch of it1 and the shades of evening were closing in so fast that they warned me to hurry if ,i would reach the town before dark4 ,i had just finished it1 and was stooping to pick up my air-gun1 when ,i heard a sudden rush1 and before ,i had time to look up1 ,i was thrown violently forward on my face1 and found myself struggling in the embrace of a powerful grasp1 from which ,i had nearly succeeded in freeing myself1 when the arms which were clasping me were reinforced by several more pair1 and ,i felt a rope being passed round my body4 ,all right1 signors6 ,i exclaimed2 ,i yield to superior numbers4 ,you need not pull so hard2 let me get up1 and ,i promise to go with you quietly4 ,and by this time ,i had turned sufficiently on my back to see that four men were engaged in tying me up4 ,tie his elbows together1 and let him get up1 said one2 he is not armed4 ,here1 ,giuseppe1 carry his stick and paint-box1 while ,i feel his pockets4 ,corpo di ,baccho6 twelve bajocchi1 he exclaimed1 producing those copper coins with an air of profound disgust4 ,it is to be hoped he is worth more to his friends4 ,now1 young man1 trudge1 and remember that the first sign you make of attempting to run away1 means four bullets through you4 ,as ,i did not anticipate any real danger1 and as a prolonged detention was a matter of no consequence to a man without an occupation1 ,i stepped forward with a light heart1 rather pleased than otherwise with anticipations of the brigand's cave1 and turning over in my mind whether or not ,i should propose to join the band4 ,we had walked an hour1 and it had become dark1 when we turned off the road1 up a narrow path that led between rocky sides to a glade1 at the extremity of which1 under an overhanging ledge1 was a small cottage1 with what seemed to be a patch of garden in front4 ,ho6 ,anita6 called out the man who appeared to be the leader of the band2 open6 ,we have brought a friend to supper1 who will require a night's lodgings4 ,an old woman with a light appeared1 and over her shoulder1 to my delight1 ,i saw the face ,i had asked to be allowed to paint so shortly before4 ,i was about to recognise her with an exclamation1 when ,i saw a hurried motion of her finger to her lip1 which looked a natural gesture to the casual observer1 but which ,i construed into a sign of prudence4 ,where did you pick him up1 ,croppo8 she asked carelessly4 ,he ought to be worth something4 ,just twelve bajocchi1 he answered with a sneering laugh4 ,come1 amico mio1 you will have to give us the names of some of your friends4 ,i am tolerably intimate with his ,holiness the ,pope1 and ,i have a bowing acquaintance with the ,king of ,naples1 whom may ,god speedily restore to his own1 ,i replied in a light and airy fashion1 which seemed exceedingly to exasperate the man called ,croppo4 ,oh yes1 we know all about that2 we never catch a man who does not profess to be a ,nero of the deepest dye in order to conciliate our sympathies4 ,it is just as well that you should understand1 my friend1 that all are fish who come into our net4 ,the money of the ,pope's friends is quite as good as the money of ,garibaldi's4 ,you need not hope to put us off with your ,italian friends of any colour3 what we want is ,english gold--good solid ,english gold1 and plenty of it4 ,ah1 said ,i1 with a laugh1 if you did but know1 my friend1 how long ,i have wanted it too4 ,if you could only suggest an ,englishman who would pay you for my life1 ,i would write to him immediately1 and we would go halves in the ransom4 ,hold6 ,i said1 a bright idea suddenly striking me2 suppose ,i were to write to my ,government--how would that do8 ,croppo was evidently puzzled3 my cheerful and unembarrassed manner apparently perplexed him4 ,he had a suspicion that ,i was even capable of the audacity of making a fool of him1 and yet that proposition about the ,government rather staggered him4 ,there might be something in it4 ,don't you think1 he remarked grimly1 it would add to the effect of your communication if you were to enclose your own ears in your letter8 ,i can easily supply them2 and if you are not a little more guarded in your speech1 you may possibly have to add your tongue4 ,it would not have the slightest effect1 ,i replied1 paying no heed to this threat2 you don't know ,palmerston as ,i do4 ,if you wish to get anything out of him you must be excessively civil4 ,what does he care about my ears8 ,and ,i laughed with such scornful contempt that ,croppo this time felt that he had made a fool of himself2 and ,i observed the lovely girl behind1 while the corners of her mouth twitched with suppressed laughter1 make a sign of caution4 ,per ,dio6 he exclaimed1 jumping up with fury1 understand1 ,signor ,inglese1 that ,croppo is not to be trifled with4 ,i have a summary way of treating disrespect1 and he drew a long and exceedingly sharp-looking two-edged knife4 ,so you would kill the goose--and ,i certainly am a goose1 ,i reflected--that may lay a golden egg4 ,but my allusion was lost upon him1 and ,i saw my charmer touch her forehead significantly1 as though to imply to ,croppo that ,i was weak in the upper storey4 ,an imbecile without friends and twelve bajocchi in his pocket1 he muttered savagely4 ,perhaps the night without food will restore his senses4 ,come1 fool6 and he roughly pushed me into a dark little chamber adjoining4 ,here1 ,valeria1 hold the light4 ,so ,valeria was the name of the heroine of the donkey episode4 ,as she held a small oil-lamp aloft1 ,i perceived that the room in which ,i was to spend the night had more the appearance of a cellar than a chamber2 it had been excavated on two sides from the bank1 on the third there was a small hole about six inches square1 apparently communicating with another room1 and on the fourth was the door by which ,i had entered1 and which opened into the kitchen and general living-room of the inhabitants4 ,there was a heap of onions running to seed1 the fagots of firewood which ,valeria had brought that afternoon1 and an old cask or two4 ,won't you give him some kind of a bed8 she asked ,croppo4 ,bah6 he can sleep on the onions1 responded that worthy4 ,if he had been more civil and intelligent he should have had something to eat4 ,you three1 he went on1 turning to the other men1 sleep in the kitchen1 and watch that the prisoner does not escape4 ,the door has a strong bolt besides4 ,come1 ,valeria4 ,and the pair disappeared1 leaving me in a dense gloom1 strongly pervaded by an odour of fungus and decaying onions4 ,groping into one of the casks1 ,i found some straw1 and spreading it on a piece of plank1 ,i prepared to pass the night sitting with my back to the driest piece of wall ,i could find1 which happened to be immediately under the airhole1 a fortunate circumstance1 as the closeness was often stifling4 ,i had probably been dozing for some time in a sitting position1 when ,i felt something tickle the top of my head4 ,the idea that it might be a large spider caused me to start1 when stretching up my hand1 it came in contact with what seemed to be a rag1 which ,i had not observed4 ,getting carefully up1 ,i perceived a faint light gleaming through the aperture1 and then saw that a hand was protruded through it1 apparently waving the rag4 ,as ,i felt instinctively that the hand was ,valeria's1 ,i seized the finger-tips1 which was all ,i could get hold of1 and pressed them to my lips4 ,they were quickly drawn away1 and then the whisper reached my ears-- ,are you hungry8 ,yes4 ,then eat this1 and she passed me a tin pannikin full of cold macaroni1 which would just go through the opening4 ,dear ,valeria1 ,i said1 with my mouth full1 how good and thoughtful you are6 ,hush6 he'll hear4 ,who8 ,croppo4 ,where is he8 ,asleep in the bed just behind me4 ,how do you come to be in his bedroom8 ,because ,i'm his wife4 ,oh6 ,a long pause during which ,i collapsed upon my straw seat1 and swallowed macaroni thoughtfully4 ,as the result of my meditations--,valeria carissima4 ,hush6 ,yes4 ,can't you get me out of this infernal den8 ,perhaps1 if they all three sleep in the kitchen2 at present one is awake4 ,watch for my signal1 and if they all three sleep1 ,i will manage to slip the bolt4 ,then you must give me time to get back into bed1 and when you hear me snore you may make the attempt4 ,they are all three sleeping on the floor1 so be very careful where you tread2 ,i will also leave the front door a little open1 so that you can slip through without noise4 ,dearest ,valeria6 ,hush6 ,yes4 ,hand me that cane--it is my fishing-rod1 you know--through this hole2 you can leave the sketch-book and paint-box under the tree that the donkey fell against1--,i will call for them some day soon4 ,and1 ,valeria1 don't you think we could make our lips meet through this beastly hole8 ,impossible4 ,there's my hand2 heavens6 ,croppo would murder me if he knew4 ,now keep quiet till ,i give the signal4 ,oh1 do let go my hand6 ,remember1 ,valeria1 bellissima1 carissima1 whatever happens1 that ,i love you4 ,but ,i don't think she heard this1 and ,i went and sat on the onions because ,i could see the hole better1 and the smell of them kept me awake4 ,it was at least two hours after this that the faint light appeared at the hole in the wall1 and a hand was pushed through4 ,i rushed at the finger- tips4 ,here's your fishing-rod1 she said when ,i had released them1 and she had passed me my air-gun4 ,now be very careful how you tread4 ,there is one asleep across the door1 but you can open it about two feet4 ,then step over him2 then make for a gleam of moonlight that comes through the crack of the front door1 open it very gently and slip out4 ,addio1 caro ,inglese2 mind you wait till you hear me snoring4 ,then she lingered1 and ,i heard a sigh4 ,what is it1 sweet ,valeria8 and ,i covered her hand with kisses4 ,i wish ,croppo had blue eyes like you4 ,this was murmured so softly that ,i may have been mistaken1 but ,i'm nearly sure that was what she said2 then she drew softly away1 and two minutes afterwards ,i heard her snoring4 ,as the first sound issued from her lovely nostrils1 ,i stealthily approached the door1 gently pushed it open2 stealthily stepped over a space which ,i trusted cleared the recumbent figure that ,i could not see2 cleared him2 stole gently on for the streak of moonlight2 trod squarely on something that seemed like an outstretched hand1 for it gave under my pressure and produced a yell2 felt that ,i must now rush for my life2 dashed the door open1 and down the path with four yelling ruffians at my heels4 ,i was a pretty good runner1 but the moon was behind a cloud1 and the way was rocky1--moreover1 there must have been a short cut ,i did not know1 for one of my pursuers gained upon me with unaccountable rapidity--he appeared suddenly within ten yards of my heels4 ,the others were at least a hundred yards behind4 ,i had nothing for it but to turn round1 let him almost run against the muzzle of my air- gun1 pull the trigger1 and see him fall in his tracks4 ,it was the work of a second1 but it checked my pursuers4 ,they had heard no noise1 but they found something that they did not bargain for1 and lingered a moment1 then they took up the chase with redoubled fury4 ,but ,i had too good a start2 and where the path joined the main road1 instead of turning down towards the town1 as they expected ,i would1 ,i dodged round in the opposite direction1 the uncertain light this time favouring me1 and ,i heard their footsteps and their curses dying away on the wrong track4 ,nevertheless ,i ran on at full speed1 and it was not till the day was dawning that ,i began to feel safe and relax my efforts4 ,the sun had been up an hour when ,i reached a small town1 and the little locanda was just opening for the day when ,i entered it1 thankful for a hot cup of coffee1 and a dirty little room1 with a dirtier bed1 where ,i could sleep off the fatigue and excitement of the night4 ,i was strolling down almost the only street in the afternoon when ,i met a couple of carabineers riding into it1 and shortly after encountered the whole troop1 to my great delight1 in command of an intimate friend whom ,i had left a month before in ,naples4 ,ah1 caro mio6 he exclaimed1 when he saw me1 well met4 ,what on earth are you doing here8--looking for those brigands you were so anxious to find when you left ,naples8 ,considering that you are in the heart of their country1 you should not have much difficulty in gratifying your curiosity4 ,i have had an adventure or two1 ,i replied carelessly4 ,indeed that is partly the reason you find me here4 ,i was just thinking how ,i could get safely back to ,ascoli1 when your welcome escort appeared2 for ,i suppose you are going there1 and will let me take advantage of it4 ,only too delighted2 and you can tell me your adventures4 ,let us dine together tonight1 and ,i will find you a horse to ride on with us in the morning4 ,i am afraid my account of the episode with which ,i have acquainted the reader was not strictly accurate in all its details1 as ,i did not wish to bring down my military friends on poor ,valeria1 so ,i skipped all allusion to her and my detention in her home2 merely saying that ,i had had a scuffle with brigands1 and had been fortunate enough to escape under cover of the night4 ,as we passed it next morning ,i recognised the path which led up to ,valeria's cottage1 and shortly after observed that young woman herself coming up the glen4 ,holloa6 ,i said1 with great presence of mind as she drew near1 my lovely model1 ,i declare6 ,just you ride on1 old fellow1 while ,i stop and ask her when she can come and sit to me again4 ,you artists are sad rogues1--what chances your profession must give you6 remarked my companion1 as he cast an admiring glance on ,valeria1 and rode discreetly on4 ,there is nothing to be afraid of1 lovely ,valeria1 ,i said in a low tone1 as ,i lingered behind2 be sure ,i will never betray either you or your rascally--hem6 ,i mean your excellent ,croppo4 ,by the way1 was that man much hurt that ,i was obliged to trip up8 ,hurt6 ,santa ,maria1 he is dead1 with a bullet through his heart4 ,croppo says it must have been magic2 for he had searched you1 and he knew you were not armed1 and he was within a hundred yards of you when poor ,pippo fell1 and he heard no sound4 ,croppo is not far wrong1 ,i said1 glad of the opportunity thus offered of imposing on the ignorance and credulity of the natives4 ,he seemed surprised that he could not frighten me the other night4 ,tell him he was much more in my power than ,i was in his1 dear ,valeria1 ,i added1 looking tenderly into her eyes4 ,i didn't want to alarm you1 that was the reason ,i let him off so easily2 but ,i may not be so merciful next time4 ,now1 sweetest1 that kiss you owe me1 and which the wall prevented your giving me the other night4 ,she held up her face with the innocence of a child1 as ,i stooped from my saddle4 ,i shall never see you again1 ,signer ,inglese1 she said1 with a sigh2 for ,croppo says it is not safe1 after what happened the night before last1 to stay another hour4 ,indeed he went off yesterday1 leaving me orders to follow to-day2 but ,i went first to put your sketch-book under the bush where the donkey fell1 and where you will find it4 ,it took us another minute or two to part after this2 and when ,i had ridden away ,i turned to look back1 and there was ,valeria gazing after me4 ,positively1 ,i reflected1 ,i am over head and ears in love with the girl1 and ,i believe she is with me4 ,i ought to have nipped my feelings in the bud when she told me she was his wife2 but then he is a brigand1 who threatened both my ears and my tongue1 to say nothing of my life4 ,to what extent is the domestic happiness of such a ruffian to be respected8 and ,i went on splitting the moral straws suggested by this train of thought1 until ,i had recovered my sketch-book and overtaken my escort1 with whom ,i rode triumphantly back into ,ascoli1 where my absence had been the cause of much anxiety1 and my fate was even then being eagerly discussed4 ,my friends with whom ,i usually sat round the chemist's door1 were much exercised by the reserve which ,i manifested in reply to the fire of cross-examination to which ,i was subjected for the next few days2 and ,english eccentricity1 which was proverbial even in this secluded town1 received a fresh illustration in the light and airy manner with which ,i treated a capture and escape from brigands1 which ,i regarded with such indifference that ,i could not be induced even to condescend to details4 ,it was a mere scuffle2 there were only four2 and1 being an ,englishman1 ,i polished them all off with the 'box1'--and ,i closed my fist1 and struck a scientific attitude of self-defence1 branching off into a learned disquisition on the pugilistic art1 which filled my hearers with respect and amazement4 ,from this time forward the sentiment with which ,i regarded my air-gun underwent a change4 ,when a friend had made me a present of it a year before1 ,i regarded it in the light of a toy1 and rather resented the gift as too juvenile4 ,i wonder he did not give me a kite or a hoop1 ,i mentally reflected4 ,then ,i had found it useful among ,italians1 who are a trifling people1 and like playthings2 but now that it had saved my life1 and sent a bullet through a man's heart1 ,i no longer entertained the same feeling of contempt for it4 ,not again would ,i make light of it1--this potent engine of destruction which had procured me the character of being a magician4 ,i would hide it from human gaze1 and cherish it as a sort of fetish4 ,so ,i bought a walking- stick and an umbrella1 and strapped it up with them1 wrapped in my plaid2 and when1 shortly after1 an unexpected remittance from an aunt supplied me with money enough to buy a horse from one of the officers of my friend's regiment1 which soon after arrived1 ,i accepted their invitation to accompany them on their brigand-hunting expeditions1 not one of them knew that ,i had such a weapon as an air-gun in my possession4 ,our modus operandi on these occasions was as follows3 ,on receiving information from some proprietor that the brigands were threatening his property1--it was impossible to get intelligence from the peasantry1 for they were all in league with the brigands2 indeed they all took a holiday from regular work1 and joined a band for a few weeks from time to time1--we proceeded1 with a force sufficiently strong to cope with the supposed strength of the band1 to the farm in question4 ,the bands were all mounted1 and averaged from #bjj to #djj men each4 ,it was calculated that upwards of #bjjj men were thus engaged in harrying the country1 and this enabled the ,neri to talk of the king's forces engaged in legitimate warfare against those of ,victor ,emmanuel4 ,riding over the vast plains of the ,capitanata1 we would discern against the sky-outline the figure of a solitary horseman4 ,this we knew to be a picket4 ,then there was no time to be lost1 and away we would go for him helter-skelter across the plain2 he would instantly gallop in on the main body1 probably occupying a masseria4 ,if they thought they were strong enough1 they would show fight4 ,if not1 they would take to their heels in the direction of the mountains1 with us in full cry after them4 ,if they were hardly pressed they would scatter1 and we were obliged to do the same1 and the result would be that the swiftest horsemen might possibly effect a few captures4 ,it was an exciting species of warfare1 partaking a good deal more of the character of a hunting-field than of cavalry skirmishing4 ,sometimes1 where the ground was hilly1 we had ,bersaglieri with us2 and as the brigands took to the mountains1 the warfare assumed a different character4 ,sometimes1 in default of these active little troops1 we took local volunteers1 whom we found a very poor substitute4 ,on more than one occasion when we came upon the brigands in a farm1 they thought themselves sufficiently strong to hold it against us1 and once the cowardice of the volunteers was amusingly illustrated4 ,the band was estimated at about #bjj1 and we had #ajj volunteers and a detachment of #ej cavalry4 ,on coming under the fire of the brigands1 the cavalry captain1 who was in command1 ordered the volunteers to charge1 intending when they had dislodged the enemy to ride him down on the open2 but the volunteer officer did not repeat the word1 and stood stock-still1 his men all imitating his example4 ,charge6 ,i say1 shouted the cavalry captain2 why don't you charge8 ,i believe you're afraid6 ,e vero1 said the captain of volunteers1 shrugging his shoulders4 ,here1 take my horse--you're only fit to be a groom2 and you1 men1 dismount and let these cowards hold your horses1 while you follow me1--and jumping from his horse1 the gallant fellow1 followed by his men1 charged the building1 from which a hot fire was playing upon them1 sword in hand4 ,in less than a quarter of an hour the brigands were scampering1 some on foot and some on horseback1 out of the farm-buildings1 followed by a few stray and harmless shots from such of the volunteers as had their hands free4 ,we lost three men killed and five wounded in this little skirmish1 and killed six of the brigands1 besides making a dozen prisoners4 ,when ,i say we1 ,i mean my companions2 for having no weapon1 ,i had discreetly remained with the volunteers4 ,the scene of this gallant exploit was on the classic battle-field of ,cannae4 ,this captain1 who was not the friend ,i had joined the day after my brigand adventure1 was a most plucky and dashing cavalry officer1 and was well seconded by his men1 who were all ,piedmontese1 and of very different temperament from the ,neapolitans4 ,on one occasion a band of #bej brigands waited for us on the top of a small hill1 never dreaming that we should charge up it with the odds five to one against us--but we did2 and after firing a volley at us1 which emptied a couple of saddles1 they broke and fled when we were about twenty yards from them4 ,then began one of the most exciting scurries across country it was ever my fortune to be engaged in4 ,the brigands scattered--so did we2 and ,i found myself with two troopers in chase of a pair of bandits1 one of whom seemed to be the chief of the band4 ,a small stream wound through the plain1 which we dashed across4 ,just beyond was a tributary ditch1 which would have been considered a fair jump in the hunting-field3 both brigands took it in splendid style4 ,the hindmost was not ten yards ahead of the leading trooper1 who came a cropper1 on which the brigand reined up1 fired a pistol-shot into the prostrate horse and man1 and was off3 but the delay cost him dear4 ,the other trooper1 who was a little ahead of me1 got safely over4 ,i followed suit4 ,in another moment he had fired his carbine into the brigand's horse1 and down they both came by the run4 ,we instantly reined up1 for ,i saw there was no chance of overtaking the remaining brigand1 and the trooper was in the act of cutting down the man as he struggled to his feet1 when to my horror ,i recognised the lovely features of--,valeria4 ,stay1 man6 ,i shouted1 throwing myself from my horse2 it's a woman6 touch her if you dare6 and then seeing the man's eye gleam with indignation1 ,i added1 ,brave soldiers1 such as you have proved yourself to be1 do not kill women2 though your traducers say you do1 do not give them cause to speak truth4 ,i will be responsible for this woman's safety4 ,here1 to make it sure1 you had better strap us together4 ,i piqued myself exceedingly on this happy inspiration1 whereby ,i secured an arm-in-arm walk1 of a peculiar kind it is true1 with ,valeria1 and indeed my readiness to sacrifice myself seemed rather to astonish the soldier1 who hesitated4 ,however1 his comrade1 whose horse had been shot in the ditch1 now came up1 and seconded my proposal1 as ,i offered him a mount on mine4 ,how on earth am ,i to let you escape1 dear ,valeria8 ,i whispered1 giving her a sort of affectionate nudge3 the position of our arms prevented my squeezing hers1 as ,i could have wished1 and the two troopers kept behind us1 watching us1 ,i thought1 suspiciously4 ,it is quite impossible now--don't attempt it1 she answered2 perhaps there may be an opportunity later4 ,was that ,croppo who got away8 ,i asked4 ,yes4 ,he could not get his cowardly men to stand on that hill4 ,what a bother those men are behind1 dearest6 ,let me pretend to scratch my nose with this hand that is tied to yours1 which ,i can thus bring to my lips4 ,i accomplished this manoeuvre rather neatly1 but parties now came straggling in from other directions1 and ,i was obliged to give up whispering and become circumspect4 ,they all seemed rather astonished at our group1 and the captain laughed heartily as he rode up and called out1 ,who have you got tied to you there1 caro mio8 ,croppo's wife4 ,i had her tied to me for fear she should escape2 besides1 she is not bad-looking4 ,what a prize6 he exclaimed4 ,we have made a tolerable haul this time1--twenty prisoners in all--among them the priest of the band4 ,our colonel has just arrived1 so ,i am in luck--he will be delighted4 ,see1 the prisoners are being brought up to him now3 but you had better remount and present yours in a less singular fashion4 ,when we reached the colonel we found him examining the priest4 ,his breviary contained various interesting notes1 written on some of the fly- leaves4 ,for instance3-- ,administered extreme unction to ,a---1 shot by ,croppo's orders3 my share ten scudi4 ,ditto1 ditto1 to ,r---1 hung by ,croppo's order2 my share two scudi4 ,ditto1 ditto1 to ,s---1 roasted by ,croppo's order1 to make him name an agent to bring his ransom3 overdone by mistake1 and died--so got nothing4 ,ditto1 ditto1 to ,p---1 executed by the knife by ,croppo's order1 for disobedience4 ,m--- and ,f---1 and ,d---1 three new members1 joined to-day3 confessed them1 and received the usual fees4 ,he was a dark1 beetle-browed-looking ruffian1 this holy man2 and the colonel1 when he had finished examining his book of prayer and crime1 tossed it to me1 saying1--,there6 that will show your friends in ,england the kind of politicians we make war against4 ,ha6 what have we here8 ,this is more serious4 ,and he unfolded a piece of paper which had been concealed in the breast of the priest4 ,this contains a little valuable information1 he added1 with a grim smile4 ,nobody like priests and women for carrying about political secrets1 so you may have made a valuable capture1 and he turned to where ,i stood with ,valeria2 let her be carefully searched4 ,now the colonel was a very pompous man1 and the document he had just discovered on the priest added to his sense of self-importance4 ,when1 therefore1 a large1 carefully folded paper was produced from the neighbourhood of ,valeria's lovely bosom1 his eyes sparkled with anticipation4 ,ho1 ho6 he exclaimed1 as he clutched it eagerly1 the plot is thickening6 and he spread out triumphantly1 before he had himself seen what it was1 the exquisitely drawn portrait of a donkey4 ,there was a suppressed titter1 which exploded into a shout when the bystanders looked into the colonel's indignant face4 ,i only was affected differently1 as my gaze fell upon this touching evidence of dear ,valeria's love for me1 and ,i glanced at her tenderly4 ,this has a deeper significance than you think for1 said the colonel1 looking round angrily4 ,croppo's wife does not carefully secrete a drawing like that on her person for nothing4 ,see1 it is done by no common artist4 ,it means something1 and must be preserved4 ,it may have a ,biblical reference to the state of ,italy4 ,you remember ,issachar was likened to an ass between two burdens4 ,in that case it probably emanated from ,rome1 ,i remarked2 but nobody seemed to see the point of the allusion1 and the observation fell flat4 ,that night ,i dined with the colonel1 and after dinner ,i persuaded him to let me visit ,valeria in prison1 as ,i wished to take the portrait of the wife of the celebrated brigand chief4 ,i thanked my stars that my friend who had seen her when we met in the glen1 was away on duty with his detachment1 and could not testify to our former acquaintance4 ,my meeting with ,valeria on this occasion was too touching and full of tender passages to be of any general interest4 ,valeria told me that she was still a bride2 that she had only been married a few months1 and that she had been compelled to become ,croppo's wife against her choice1 as the brigand's will was too powerful to be resisted2 but that1 though he was jealous and attached to her1 he was stern and cruel1 and so far from winning her love since her marriage1 he had rather estranged it by his fits of passion and ferocity4 ,as may be imagined1 the portrait1 which was really very successful1 took some time in execution1 the more especially as we had to discuss the possibilities of ,valeria's escape4 ,we are going to be transferred to-morrow to the prison at ,foggia1 she said4 ,if1 while we were passing through the market-place1 a disturbance of some sort could be created1 as it is market day1 and all the country people know me1 and are my friends1 a rescue might be attempted4 ,i know how to arrange for that1 only they must see some chance of success4 ,a bright thought suddenly struck me2 it was suggested by a trick ,i had played shortly after my arrival in ,italy4 ,you know ,i am something of a magician1 ,valeria2 you have had proof of that4 ,if ,i create a disturbance by magic to-morrow1 when you are passing through the market-place1 you won't stay to wonder what is the cause of the confusion1 but instantly take advantage of it to escape4 ,trust me for that1 caro mio4 ,and if you escape1 when shall we meet again8 ,i am known too well now to risk another meeting4 ,i shall be in hiding with ,croppo1 where it will be impossible for you to find me1 nor while he lives could ,i ever dare to think of leaving him2 but ,i shall never forget you--and she pressed my hands to her lips--though ,i shall no longer have the picture of the donkey to remember you by4 ,see1 here's my photograph2 that will be better1 said ,i1 feeling a little annoyed--foolishly1 ,i admit4 ,then we strained each other to our respective hearts1 and parted4 ,now it so happened that my room in the locanda in which ,i was lodging overlooked the market-place4 ,here at ten o'clock in the morning ,i posted myself--for that was the hour1 as ,i had been careful to ascertain1 when the prisoners were to start for ,foggia4 ,i opened the window about three inches1 and fixed it there3 ,i took out my gun1 put eight balls in it1 and looked down upon the square4 ,it was crowded with the country people in their bright-coloured costumes1 chaffering over their produce4 ,i looked above them to the tall campanile of the church which filled one side of the square4 ,i receded a step and adjusted my gun on the ledge of the window to my entire satisfaction4 ,i then looked down the street in which the prison was situated1 and which debouched on the square1 and awaited events4 ,at ten minutes past ten ,i saw the soldiers at the door of the prison form up1 and then ,i knew that the twenty prisoners of whom they formed the escort were starting2 but the moment they began to move1 ,i fired at the big bell in the campanile1 which responded with a loud clang4 ,all the people in the square looked up4 ,as the prisoners entered the square1 which they had to cross in its whole breadth1 ,i fired again and again4 ,the bell banged twice1 and the people began to buzz about4 ,now1 ,i thought1 ,i must let the old bell have it4 ,by the time five more balls had struck the bell with a resounding din1 the whole square was in commotion4 ,a miracle was evidently in progress1 or the campanile was bewitched4 ,people began to run hither and thither2 all the soldiers forming the escort gaped open-mouthed at the steeple as the clangour continued4 ,as soon as the last shot had been fired1 ,i looked down into the square and saw all this1 and ,i saw that the prisoners were attempting to escape1 and in more than one instance had succeeded1 for the soldiers began to scatter in pursuit1 and the country people to form themselves into impeding crowds1 as though by accident1 but nowhere could ,i see ,valeria4 ,when ,i was quite sure she had escaped1 ,i went down and joined the crowd4 ,i saw three prisoners captured and brought back2 and when ,i asked the officer in command how many had escaped1 he said three--,croppo's wife1 the priest1 and another4 ,when ,i met my cavalry friends at dinner that evening1 it was amusing to hear them speculate upon the remarkable occurrence which had1 in fact1 upset the wits of the whole town4 ,priests and vergers and sacristans had visited the campanile1 and one of them had brought away a flattened piece of lead1 which looked as if it might have been a bullet2 but the suggestion that eight bullets could have hit the bell in succession without anybody hearing a sound1 was treated with ridicule4 ,i believe the bell was subsequently exorcised with holy water4 ,i was afraid to remain with the regiment with my air-gun after this1 lest some one should discover it1 and unravel the mystery2 besides1 ,i felt a sort of traitor to the brave friends who had so generously offered me their hospitality1 so ,i invented urgent private affairs1 which demanded my immediate return to ,naples1 and on the morning of my departure found myself embraced by all the officers of the regiment1 from the colonel downwards1 who1 in the fervour of their kisses1 thrust sixteen waxed moustache-points against my cheeks4 ,about eighteen months after this1 ,i heard of the capture and execution of ,croppo1 and ,i knew that ,valeria was free2 but ,i had unexpectedly inherited a property1 and was engaged to be married4 ,i am now a country gentleman with a large family4 ,my sanctum is stocked with various mementoes of my youthful adventures1 but none awakens in me such thrilling memories as are excited by the breviary of the brigand priest1 and the portrait of the brigand's bride4 ,,the ,,sisters ,,of ,,thibet4 ,it is now nearly twenty-seven years ago--long before the ,theosophical ,society was founded1 or ,esoteric ,buddhism was known to exist in the form recently revealed to us by ,mr ,sinnett#ha--that ,i became the chela1 or pupil1 of an adept of ,buddhist occultism in ,khatmandhu4 ,at that time ,englishmen1 unless attached to the ,residency1 were not permitted to reside in that picturesque ,nepaulese town4 ,indeed ,i do not think that they are now2 but ,i had had an opportunity during the ,indian ,mutiny1 when ,i was attached to the ,nepaulese contingent1 of forming an intimacy with a ,guru connected with the force4 ,it was not until our acquaintance had ripened into a warm friendship that ,i gradually made the discovery that this interesting man held views which differed so widely from the popular conception of ,buddhism as ,i had known it in ,ceylon--where ,i had resided for some years--that my curiosity was roused1--the more especially as he was in the habit of sinking off gradually1 even while ,i was speaking to him1 into trance-conditions1 which would last sometimes for a week1 during which time he would remain without food2 and upon more than one occasion ,i missed even his material body from my side1 under circumstances which appeared to me at the time unaccountable4 ,the ,nepaulese troops were not very often engaged with the rebels during the ,indian ,mutiny2 but when they were1 the ,guru was always to be seen under the hottest fire1 and it was generally supposed by the army that his body1 so far from being impervious to bullets1 was so pervious to them that they could pass through it without producing any organic disturbance4 ,i was not aware of this fact at first2 and it was not until ,i observed that1 while he stood directly in the line of fire1 men were killed immediately behind him1 that ,i ceased to accompany him into action1 and determined1 if possible1 to solve a mystery which had begun to stimulate my curiosity to the highest pitch4 ,it is not necessary for me to enter here into the nature of the conversations ,i had with him on the most important and vital points affecting universal cosmogony and the human race and its destiny4 ,suffice it to say1 that they determined me to sever my connection with the ,government of ,india2 to apply privately1 through my friend the ,guru1 to the late ,jung ,bahadoor for permission to reside in ,nepaul2 and finally1 in the garb of an ,oriental1 to take up my residence in ,khatmandhu1 unknown to the ,british authorities4 ,i should not now venture on this record of my experiences1 or enter upon the revelation of a phase hitherto unknown and unsuspected1 of that esoteric science which has1 until now1 been jealously guarded as a precious heritage belonging exclusively to regularly initiated members of mysteriously organised associations1 had not ,mr ,sinnett1 with the consent of a distinguished member of the ,thibetan brotherhood1 and1 in fact1 at his dictation1 let1 if ,i may venture to use so profane an expression in connection with such a sacred subject1 the cat out of the bag4 ,since1 however1 the arhats1 or illuminati1 of the ,east1 seem to have arrived at the conclusion that the ,western mind is at last sufficiently prepared and advanced in spiritual knowledge to be capable of assimilating the occult doctrines of ,esoteric ,buddhism1 and have allowed their pupil to burst them upon a thoughtless and frivolous society with the suddenness of a bomb-shell1 ,i feel released from the obligations to secrecy by which ,i have hitherto felt bound1 and will proceed to unfold a few arcana of a far more extraordinary character than any which are to be found even in the pages of the ',theosophist' or of ',esoteric ,buddhism4' ,owing to certain conditions connected with my linga sharira1 or astral body--which it would be difficult for me to explain to those who are not to some extent initiated--,i passed through the various degrees of chela- ship with remarkable rapidity4 ,when ,i say that in less than fifteen years of spiritual absorption and profound contemplation of esoteric mysteries ,i became a mahatma1 or adept1 some idea may be formed by chelas who are now treading that path of severe ordeal1 of the rapidity of my progress3 indeed1 such extraordinary faculty did ,i manifest1 that at one time the ,guru1 my master1 was inclined to think that ,i was one of those exceptional cases which recur from time to time1 where a child-body is selected as the human tenement of a reincarnated adept2 and that though belonging by rights to the fourth round1 ,i was actually born into the fifth round of the human race in the planetary chain4 ,the adept1 says an occult aphorism1 becomes2 he is not made4 ,that was exactly my case4 ,i attribute it principally to an overweening confidence in myself1 and to a blind faith in others4 ,as ,mr ,sinnett very properly remarks-- ,very much further than people generally imagine1 will mere confidence carry the occult neophyte4 ,how many ,european readers who would be quite incredulous if told of some results which occult chelas in the most incipient stages of their training have to accomplish by sheer force of confidence1 hear constantly in church1 nevertheless1 the familiar ,biblical assurances of the power which resides in faith1 and let the words pass by like the wind1 leaving no impression6 ,it is true that ,i had some reason for this confidence--which arose from the fact that prior to my initiation into ,buddhist mysteries1 and before ,i left ,england1 ,i had developed1 under the spiritual craze which was then prevalent in society1 a remarkable faculty of clairvoyance4 ,this gave me the power not merely of diagnosing the physical and moral conditions of my friends and acquaintances1 and of prescribing for them when necessary1 but of seeing what was happening in other parts of the world2 hence my organism was peculiarly favourable for initiation into occult mysteries1 and naturally--or rather spiritually--prepared for that method in the regular course of occult training by which adepts impart instruction to their pupils4 ,they awaken1 as we are most accurately informed by ,mr ,sinnett1 the dormant sense in the pupil1 and through this they imbue his mind with a knowledge that such and such a doctrine is the real truth4 ,the whole scheme of evolution infiltrates into the regular chela's mind1 by reason of the fact that he is made to see the process taking place by clairvoyant vision4 ,there are no words used in his instruction at all4 ,and adepts themselves1 to whom the facts and processes of nature are as familiar as our five fingers to us1 find it difficult to explain in a treatise which they cannot illustrate for us1 by producing mental pictures in our dormant sixth sense1 the complex anatomy of the planetary system4 ,i have always felt--and my conviction on the subject has led to some painful discussions between myself and some of my mahatma brothers--that the extreme facility with which ,i was enabled to perceive at a glance the complex anatomy of the planetary system1 and the rapid development of my dormant sixth sense1 was due mainly to the fact that ,i was nothing more nor less than what spiritualists call a highly sensitive medium4 ,meantime this premature development of my sixth sense forced me right up through the obstacles which usually impede such an operation in the case of a fourth-round man1 into that stage of evolution which awaits the rest of humanity--or rather1 so much of humanity as may reach it in the ordinary course of nature--in the latter part of the fifth round4 ,i merely mention this to give confidence to my readers1 as ,i am about to describe a moral cataclysm which subsequently took place in my sixth sense1 which would be of no importance in the case of an ordinary chela1 but which was attended with the highest significance as occurring to a mahatma who had already attained the highest grade in the mystic brotherhood4 ,it was not to be wondered at that when ,i arrived at this advanced condition1 ,khatmandhu1 though a pleasant town1 was not altogether a convenient residence for an occultist of my eminence4 ,in the first place1 the streets were infested with dugpas1 or red-caps1 a heretical sect1 some members of which have arhat pretensions of a very high order--indeed ,i am ready to admit that ,i have met with ,shammar adepts1 who1 so far as supernatural powers were concerned1 were second to none among ourselves4 ,but this was only the result of that necromancy which ,buddha in his sixth incarnation denounced in the person of ,tsong- kha-pa1 the great reformer4 ,they even deny the spiritual supremacy of the ,dalai ,lama at ,lhassa1 and own allegiance to an impostor who lives at the monastery of ,sakia ,djong4 ,the presence of these men1 and the presumption of their adepts1 who maintained that through subjective or clairvoyant conditions1 which they asserted were higher than ours1 they had attained a more exalted degree of illumination which revealed a different cosmogony from that which has been handed down to us through countless generations of adepts1 were a perpetual annoyance to me2 but perhaps not greater than the proximity of the ,english ,resident and the officers attached to him1 the impure exhalations from whose rupas1 or material bodies1 infected as they were with magnetic elements drawn from ,western civilisation1 whenever ,i met them1 used to send me to bed for a week4 ,i therefore strongly felt the necessity of withdrawal to that isolated and guarded region where the most advanced adepts can pursue their contemplative existence without fear of interruption1 and prepare their karma1 or1 in other words1 the molecules of their fifth principle1 for the ineffable bliss of appropriate development in devachan--a place1 or rather state1 somewhat resembling ,purgatory with a dash of heaven in it2 or even for the still more exquisite sensation which arises from having no sensations at all1 and which characterises nirvana1 or a sublime condition of conscious rest in ,omniscience4 ,that ,i am not drawing upon my imagination in alluding to this mysterious region1 or imposing upon the credulity of my readers1 ,i will support my assertion by the high authority of ,mr ,sinnett1 or rather of his ,guru2 and here ,i may remark incidentally1 that after a long experience of ,gurus1 ,i have never yet met one who would consciously tell a lie4 ,from time immemorial1 says ,mr ,sinnett's ,guru1 there has been a certain region in ,thibet1 which to this day is quite unknown to and unapproachable by any but initiated persons1 and inaccessible to the ordinary people of the country1 as to any others1 in which adepts have always congregated4 ,but the country generally was not in ,buddha's time1 as it has since become1 the chosen habitation of the great brotherhood4 ,much more than they are at present1 were the mahatmas in former times distributed throughout the world4 ,the progress of civilisation engendering the magnetism they find so trying1 had1 however1 by the date with which we are now dealing--the fourteenth century--already given rise to a very general movement towards ,thibet on the part of the previously dissociated occultists4 ,far more widely than was held to be consistent with the safety of mankind was occult knowledge and power then found to be disseminated4 ,to the task of putting it under a rigid system of rule and law did ,tsong-kha-pa address himself4 ,of course1 before transferring my material body to this region1 ,i was perfectly familiar with it by reason of the faculty which1 as ,mr ,sinnett very truly tells us1 is common to all adepts1 of being able to flit about the world at will in your astral body2 and here ,i would remark parenthetically1 that ,i shall use the term astral body to save confusion1 though1 as ,mr ,sinnett again properly says1 it is not strictly accurate under the circumstances4 ,in order to make this clear1 ,i will quote his very lucid observations on the subject3-- ,during the last year or two1 while hints and scraps of occult science have been finding their way out into the world1 the expression 'astral body' has been applied to a certain semblance of the human form1 fully inhabited by its higher principles1 which can migrate to any distance from the physical body--projected consciously and with exact intention by a living adept1 or unintentionally by the accidental application of certain mental forces to his loosened principles by any person at the moment of death4 ,for ordinary purposes1 there is no practical inconvenience in using the expression 'astral body' for the appearance so projected--indeed any more strictly accurate expression1 as will be seen directly1 would be cumbersome1 and we must go on using the phrase in both meanings4 ,no confusion need arise2 but strictly speaking1 the linga sharira1 or third principle1 is the astral body1 and that cannot be sent about as the vehicle of the higher principles4 ,as1 however1 no confusion need arise from my describing how ,i went about in my linga sharira1 ,i will continue to use it as the term for my vehicle of transportation4 ,nor need there be any difficulty about my being in two places at once4 ,i have the authority of ,mr ,sinnett's ,guru for this statement1 and it is fully confirmed by my own experience4 ,for what says the ,guru8--,the individual consciousness1 it is argued1 cannot be in two places at once4 ,but first of all1 to a certain extent it can4 ,it is unnecessary for me to add a word to this positive and most correct statement2 but what the ,guru has not told us is1 that there is a certain discomfort attending the process4 ,whenever ,i went with my astral body1 or linga sharira1 into the mysterious region of ,thibet already alluded to1 leaving my rupa1 or natural body1 in ,khatmandhu1 ,i was always conscious of a feeling of rawness2 while the necessity of looking after my rupa--of keeping1 so to speak1 my astral eye upon it1 lest some accident should befall it1 which might prevent my getting back to it1 and so prematurely terminate my physical or objective existence--was a constant source of anxiety to me4 ,some idea of the danger which attends this process may be gathered from the risks incidental to a much more difficult operation which ,i once attempted1 and succeeded1 after incredible effort1 in accomplishing2 this was the passage of my fifth principle1 or ego-spirit1 into the ineffable condition of nirvana4 ,let it not be supposed1 says ,mr ,sinnett1--for it is not his ,guru who is now speaking1--that for any adept such a passage can be lightly undertaken4 ,only stray hints about the nature of this great mystery have reached me2 but1 putting these together1 ,i believe ,i am right in saying that the achievement in question is one which only some of the high initiates are qualified to attempt1 which exacts a total suspension of animation in the body for periods of time compared to which the longest cataleptic trances known to ordinary science are insignificant2 the protection of the physical frame from natural decay during this period by means which the resources of occult science are strained to accomplish2 and withal it is a process involving a double risk to the continued earthly life of the person who undertakes it4 ,one of these risks is the doubt whether1 when once nirvana is attained1 the ego will be willing to return4 ,that the return will be a terrible effort and sacrifice is certain1 and will only be prompted by the most devoted attachment1 on the part of the spiritual traveller1 to the idea of duty in its purest abstraction4 ,the second great risk is that of allowing the sense of duty to predominate over the temptation to stay--a temptation1 be it remembered1 that is not weakened by the motive that any conceivable penalty can attach to it4 ,even then it is always doubtful whether the traveller will be able to return4 ,all this is exactly as ,mr ,sinnett has described it4 ,i shall never forget the struggle that ,i had with my ego when1 ignoring the idea of duty in its purest abstraction1 it refused to abandon the bliss of nirvana for the troubles of this mundane life2 or the anxiety both of my manas1 or human soul1 and my buddhi1 or spiritual soul1 lest1 after by our combined efforts we had overcome our ego1 we should not be able to do our duty by our rupa1 or natural body1 and get back into it4 ,of course1 my migrations to the mahatma region of ,thibet were accompanied by no such difficulty as this--as1 to go with your linga sharira1 or astral body1 to another country1 is a very different and much more simple process than it is to go with your manas1 or human soul1 into nirvana4 ,still it was a decided relief to find myself comfortably installed with my material body1 or rupa1 in the house of a ,thibetan brother on that sacred soil which has for so many centuries remained unpolluted by a profane foot4 ,here ,i passed a tranquil and contemplative existence for some years1 broken only by such incidents as my passage into nirvana1 and disturbed only by a certain subjective sensation of aching or void1 by which ,i was occasionally attacked1 and which ,i was finally compelled to attribute1 much to my mortification1 to the absence of women4 ,in the whole of this sacred region1 the name of which ,i am compelled to withhold1 there was not a single female4 ,everybody in it was given up to contemplation and ascetic absorption2 and it is well known that profound contemplation1 for any length of time1 and the presence of the fair sex1 are incompatible4 ,i was much troubled by this vacuous sensation1 which ,i felt to be in the highest degree derogatory to my fifth principle1 and the secret of which ,i discovered1 during a trance-condition which lasted for several months1 to arise from a subtle magnetism1 to which1 owing to my peculiar organic condition1 ,i was especially sensitive1 and which penetrated the mahatma region from a tract of country almost immediately contiguous to it in the ,karakorum ,mountains1 which was as jealously guarded from foreign intrusion as our own1 and which was occupied by the ,thibetan ,sisters1 a body of female occultists of whom the ,brothers never spoke except in terms of loathing and contempt4 ,it is not1 therefore1 to be wondered at that no mention is made either of them1 or the lovely highland district they occupy1 in ,mr ,sinnett's book4 ,the attraction of this feminine sphere became at last so overpowering1 that ,i determined to visit it in my astral body2 and now occurred the first of many most remarkable experiences which were to follow4 ,it is well known to the initiated1 though difficult to explain to those who are not1 that in a sense space ceases to exist for the astral body4 ,when you get out of your rupa1 you are out of space as ordinary persons understand it1 though it continues to have a certain subjective existence4 ,i was in this condition1 and travelling rapidly in the desired direction1 when ,i became conscious of the presence of the most exquisitely lovely female astral body which the imagination of man could conceive2 and here ,i may incidentally remark1 that no conception can be formed of the beauty to which woman can attain by those who have only seen her in her rupa--or1 in other words1 in the flesh4 ,woman's real charm consists in her linga sharira--that ethereal duplicate of the physical body which guides jiva1 or the second principle1 in its work on the physical particles1 and causes it to build up the shape which these assume in the material4 ,sometimes it makes rather a failure of it1 so far as the rupa is concerned1 but it always retains its own fascinating contour and deliciously diaphanous composition undisturbed4 ,when my gaze fell upon this most enchanting object1 or rather subject--for ,i was in a subjective condition at the time--,i felt all the senses appertaining to my third principle thrill with emotion2 but it seemed impossible--which will readily be understood by the initiated--to convey to her any clear idea of the admiration she excited1 from the fact that we were neither of us in natural space4 ,still the sympathy between our linga shariras was so intense1 that ,i perceived that ,i had only to go back for my rupa1 and travel in it to the region of the sisterhood1 to recognise her in her rupa at once4 ,every chela even knows how impossible it is to make love satisfactorily in nothing but your linga sharira4 ,it is quite different after you are dead1 and have gone in your fourth principle1 or kama rupa1 which is often translated body of desire1 into devachan2 for1 as ,mr ,sinnett most correctly remarks1 ,the purely sensual feelings and tastes of the late personality will drop off from it in devachan2 but it does not follow that nothing is preservable in that state1 except feelings and thoughts having a direct reference to religion or spiritual philosophy4 ,on the contrary1 all the superior phases1 even of sensuous emotion1 find their appropriate sphere of development in devachan4 ,until you are obliged to go to devachan--which1 in ordinary parlance1 is the place good men go to when they die--my advice is1 stick to your rupa2 and indeed it is the instinct of everybody who is not a mahatma to do this4 ,i admit--though in making this confession ,i am aware that ,i shall incur the contempt of all mahatmas--that on this occasion ,i found my rupa a distinct convenience1 and was not sorry that it was still in existence4 ,in it ,i crossed the neutral zone still inhabited by ordinary ,thibetans1 and after a few days' travel1 found myself on the frontiers of the ,sisters' territory4 ,the question which now presented itself was how to get in4 ,to my surprise1 ,i found the entrances guarded not by women1 as ,i expected1 but by men4 ,these were for the most part young and handsome4 ,so you imagined1 said one1 who advanced to meet me with an engaging air1 that you could slip into our territory in your astral body2 but you found that all the entrances in vacuo--,i use this word for convenience--are as well guarded as those in space4 ,see1 here is the ,sister past whom you attempted to force your way3 we look after the physical frontier1 and leave the astral or spiritual to the ladies1--saying which he politely drew back1 and the apparition whose astral form ,i knew so well1 now approached in her substantial rupa--in fact1 she was a good deal stouter than ,i expected to find her2 but ,i was agreeably surprised by her complexion1 which was much fairer than is usual among ,thibetans--indeed her whole type of countenance was ,caucasian1 which was not to be wondered at1 considering1 as ,i afterwards discovered1 that she was by birth a ,georgian4 ,she greeted me1 in the language common to all ,thibetan occultists1 as an old acquaintance1 and one whose arrival was evidently expected--indeed she pointed laughingly to a bevy of damsels whom ,i now saw trooping towards us1 some carrying garlands1 some playing upon musical instruments1 some dancing in lively measures1 and singing their songs of welcome as they drew near4 ,then ,ushas--for that was the name 7signifying ,the ,dawn7 of the illuminata whose acquaintance ,i had first made in vacuo--taking me by the hand1 led me to them1 and said-- ,rejoice1 ,o my sisters1 at the long-anticipated arrival of the ,western arhat1 who1 in spite of the eminence which he has attained in the mysteries of ,esoteric ,buddhism1 and his intimate connection during so many years with the ,thibetan fraternity1 has yet retained enough of his original organic conditions to render him1 even in the isolation of 7here she mentioned the region ,i had come from7 susceptible to the higher influence of the occult sisterhood4 ,receive him in your midst as the chela of a new avatar which will be unfolded to him under your tender guidance4 ,take him in your arms1 ,o my sisters1 and comfort him with the doctrines of ,ila1 the ,divine1 the ,beautiful4 ,taking me in their arms1 ,i now found1 was a mere formula or figure of speech1 and consisted only in throwing garlands over me4 ,still ,i was much comforted1 not merely by the grace and cordiality of their welcome1 but by the mention of ,ila1 whose name will doubtless be familiar to my readers as occurring in a ,sanscrit poem of the age immediately following the ,vedic period1 called the ,satapathabrahmana1 when ,manu was saved from the flood1 and offered the sacrifice to be the model of future generations4 ,by this sacrifice he obtained a daughter named ,ila1 who became supernaturally the mother of humanity1 and who1 ,i had always felt1 has been treated with too little consideration by the mahatmas--indeed her name is not so much as even mentioned in ,mr ,sinnett's book4 ,of course it was rather a shock to my spiritual pride1 that ,i1 a mahatma of eminence myself1 should be told that ,i was to be adopted as a mere chela by these ladies2 but ,i remembered those beautiful lines of ,buddha's--,i quote from memory--and ,i hesitated no longer3-- ,to be long-suffering and meek1 ,to associate with the tranquil1 ,religious talk at due seasons2 ,this is the greatest blessing4 ,to be long-suffering--this was a virtue ,i should probably have a splendid opportunity of displaying under the circumstances1--and meek2 what greater proof of meekness could ,i give than by becoming the chela of women8 ,to associate with the tranquil4 ,i should certainly obey this precept1 and select the most tranquil as my associates1 and with them look forward to enjoying religious talk at due seasons4 ,thus fortified by the precepts of the greatest of all teachers1 my mind was at once made up1 and1 lifting up my voice1 ,i chanted1 in the language of the occult1 some beautiful stanzas announcing my acceptance of their invitation1 which evidently thrilled my hearers with delight4 ,in order to save unnecessary fatigue1 we now transferred ourselves through space1 and1 in the twinkling of an eye1 ,i found myself in the enchanting abode which they called their home1 or dama4 ,here a group of young male chelas were in waiting to attend to our wants2 and the remarkable fact now struck me1 that not only were all the women lovely and the men handsome1 but that no trace of age was visible on any of them4 ,ushas smiled as she saw what was passing in my mind1 and said1 without using any spoken words1 for language had already become unnecessary between us1 ,this is one of the mysteries which will be explained to you when you have reposed after the fatigues of your journey2 in the meantime ,asvin1--and she pointed out a chela whose name signified ,twilight1--will show you to your room4 ,i would gladly linger1 did my space allow1 over the delights of this enchanting region1 and the marvellously complete and well-organised system which prevailed in its curiously composed society4 ,suffice it to say1 that in the fairy-like pavilion which was my home1 dwelt twenty-four lovely ,sisters and their twenty-three chelas--,i was to make the twenty-fourth--in the most complete and absolute harmony1 and that their lives presented the most charming combination of active industry1 harmless gaiety1 and innocent pleasures4 ,by a proper distribution of work and proportionment of labour1 in which all took part1 the cultivation of the land1 the tending of the exquisite gardens1 with their plashing fountains1 fragrant flowers1 and inviting arbours1 the herding of the cattle1 and the heavier part of various handicrafts1 fell upon the men2 while the women looked after the domestic arrangements--cooked1 made or mended and washed the chelas' clothes and their own 7both men and women were dressed according to the purest principles of aesthetic taste71 looked after the dairy1 and helped the men in the lighter parts of their industries4 ,various inventions1 known only to the occult sisterhood by means of their studies in the esoteric science of mechanics1 contributed to shorten these labours to an extent which would be scarcely credited by the uninitiated2 but some idea of their nature may be formed from the fact that methods of storing and applying electricity1 unknown as yet in the ,west1 have here been in operation for many centuries1 while telephones1 flying-machines1 and many other contrivances still in their infancy with us1 are carried to a high pitch of perfection4 ,in a word1 what struck me at once as the fundamental difference between this sisterhood and the fraternity of adepts with which ,i had been associated1 was that the former turned all their occult experiences to practical account in their daily life in this world1 instead of reserving them solely for the subjective conditions which are supposed by mahatmas to attach exclusively to another state of existence4 ,owing to these appliances the heavy work of the day was got through usually in time for a late breakfast1 the plates and dishes being washed up and the knives cleaned by a mechanical process scarcely occupying two minutes2 and the afternoon was usually devoted to the instruction of chelas in esoteric branches of learning1 and their practical application to mundane affairs1 until the cool of the evening1 when parties would be made up either for playing out-of-door games1 in the less violent of which the women took part1 or in riding the beautiful horses of the country1 or in flying swiftly over its richly cultivated and variegated surface1 paying visits to other damas or homes1 each of which was occupied on the same scale and in the same manner as our own4 ,after a late dinner1 we usually had concerts1 balls1 and private theatricals4 ,on the day following my arrival1 ,ushas explained to me the relationship in which we were to stand towards each other4 ,she said that marriage was an institution as yet unknown to them1 because their organisms had not yet attained the conditions to which they were struggling4 ,they had progressed so far1 however1 that they had discovered the secret of eternal youth4 ,indeed1 ,ushas herself was #eij years old4 ,i was not surprised at this1 as something of the same kind has occurred more than once to rishis or very advanced mahatmas4 ,as a rule1 however1 they are too anxious to go to nirvana1 to stay on earth a moment longer than necessary1 and prefer rather to come back at intervals3 this1 we all know1 has occurred at least six times in the case of ,buddha1 as ,mr ,sinnett so well explains4 ,at the same time ,ushas announced without words1 but with a slight blush1 and a smile of ineffable tenderness1 that from the day of my birth she knew that ,i was destined to be her future husband1 and that at the appointed time we should be brought together4 ,we now had our period of probation to go through together1 and she told me that all the other chelas here were going through the necessary training preparatory to wedlock like myself1 and that there would be a general marrying all round1 when the long-expected culminating epoch should arrive4 ,meantime1 in order to enter upon the first stage of my new chela-ship1 it became necessary for me to forget all the experiences which ,i had acquired during the last twenty years of my life1 as she explained that it would be impossible for my mind to receive the new truths which ,i had now to learn so long as ,i clung to what she called the fantasies of my mahatma-ship4 ,i cannot describe the pang which this announcement produced4 ,still ,i felt that nothing must impede my search after truth2 and ,i could not conceal from myself that1 if in winning it ,i also won ,ushas1 ,i was not to be pitied4 ,nor to this day have ,i ever had reason to regret the determination at which ,i then arrived4 ,it would be impossible for me in the compass of this article to describe all my experiences in the new life to which ,i dedicated myself1 nor indeed would it be proper to do so2 suffice it to say1 that ,i progressed beyond my ,ushas' most sanguine expectations4 ,and here ,i would remark1 that ,i found my chief stimulus to exertion to be one which had been completely wanting in my former experience4 ,it consisted simply in this1 that altruism had been substituted for egotism4 ,formerly1 ,i made the most herculean spiritual effort to tide myself over the great period of danger--the middle of the fifth round4 ,that1 as ,mr ,sinnett correctly says1 is the stupendous achievement of the adept as regards his own personal interests2 and of course our own interests were all that ,i or any of the other mahatmas ever thought of4 ,he has reached1 pursues our author1 the farther shore of the sea in which so many of mankind will perish4 ,he waits there1 in a contentment which people cannot even realise without some glimmering of spirituality--the sixth sense--themselves1 for the arrival of his future companions4 ,this is perfectly true4 ,i always found that the full enjoyment of this sixth sense among mahatmas was heightened just in proportion to the numbers of other people who perish1 so long as you were safe yourself4 ,here among the ,sisters1 on the other hand1 the principle which was inculcated was1 ,never mind if you perish yourself1 so long as you can save others2 and indeed the whole effort was to elaborate such a system by means of the concentration of spiritual forces upon earth1 as should be powerful enough to redeem it from its present dislocated and unhappy condition4 ,to this end had the efforts of the ,sisters been directed for so many centuries1 and ,i had reason to believe that the time was not far distant when we should emerge from our retirement to be the saviours and benefactors of the whole human race4 ,it followed from this1 of course1 that ,i retained all the supernatural faculties which ,i had acquired as a mahatma1 and which ,i now determined to use1 not for my own benefit as formerly1 but for that of my fellow-creatures1 and was soon able--thanks to additional faculties1 acquired under ,ushas' tutorship--to flit about the world in my astral body without inconvenience4 ,i happened to be in ,london on business the other day in this ethereal condition1 when ,mr ,sinnett's book appeared1 and ,i at once projected it on the astral current to ,thibet4 ,i immediately received a communication from ,ushas to the effect that it compelled some words of reply from the sisterhood1 and a few days since ,i received them4 ,i regret that it has been necessary to occupy so much of the reader's time with personal details4 ,they were called for in order that he should understand the source of my information1 and my peculiar qualifications for imparting it4 ,it will be readily understood1 after my long connection with the ,thibetan brotherhood1 how painful it must be to me to be the instrument chosen not merely of throwing a doubt upon the absolute truth concerning nature1 man1 the origin of the universe1 and the destinies toward which its inhabitants are tending1 to use ,mr ,sinnett's own words1 but actually to demolish the whole structure of ,esoteric ,buddhism6 ,nor would ,i do this now were it not that the publication of the book called by that name has reluctantly compelled the sisterhood to break their long silence4 ,if the ,thibetan ,brothers had only held their tongues and kept their secret as they have done hitherto1 they would not now be so rudely disturbed by the ,thibetan ,sisters4 99 99 99 99 99 ,the ,sisters of ,thibet1 writes ,ushas1 of course with an astral pen in astral ink1 owe their origin to a circumstance which occurred in the time of ,sankaracharya1 erroneously supposed by the initiated to be an incarnation of ,buddha4 ,this teacher1 who lived more than a century before the ,christian era1 dwelt chiefly upon the necessity of pursuing gnyanam in order to obtain moksha--that is to say1 the importance of secret knowledge to spiritual progress1 and the consummation thereof4 ,and he even went so far as to maintain that a man ought to keep all such knowledge secret from his wife4 ,now the wife of ,sankaracharya1 whose name was ,nandana1 'she who rejoices1' was a woman of very profound occult attainments2 and when she found that her husband was acquiring knowledges which he did not impart to her1 she did not upbraid him1 but laboured all the more strenuously in her own sphere of esoteric science1 and she even discovered that all esoteric science had a twofold element in it--masculine and feminine--and that all discoveries of occult mysteries engaged in by man alone1 were1 so to speak1 lop-sided1 and therefore valueless4 ,so she conveyed herself secretly1 by processes familiar to her1 away from her husband1 and took refuge in this region of ,thibet in which we now dwell1 and which1 with all his knowledges1 ,sankaracharya was never able to discover1 for they were all subjective1 and dealt not with the material things of this world4 ,and she associated herself here in the pursuit of knowledge with a learned man called ,svasar1 'he who is friendly1' who considered secret knowledge merely the means to an end1 and even spiritual progress valuable only in so far as it could be used to help others2 and they studied deep mysteries as brother and sister together--and he had been a mahatma or rishi of the highest grade--and1 owing to the aid he derived from his female associate1 he discovered that the subjective conditions of nirvana and devachan were the result of one-sided male imaginings which had their origin in male selfishness2 and this conviction grew in him in the degree in which the ,parthivi ,mutar1 or ',earth ,mother1' became incarnated in ,nandana4 ,thus was revealed to him the astounding fact that the whole system of the occult adepts had originated in the natural brains of men who had given themselves up to egotistical transcendental speculation--in fact1 ,i cannot better describe the process than in the words of ,mr ,sinnett himself1 where he alludes to 'the highly cultivated devotees to be met with occasionally in ,india1 who build up a conception of nature1 the universe and ,god1 entirely on a metaphysical basis1 and who have evolved their systems by sheer force of transcendental thinking--who will take some established system of philosophy as its groundwork1 and amplify on this to an extent which only an oriental metaphysician could dream of4' ,this1 ,mr ,sinnett chooses to assume1 was not the fact with the ,thibet ,brothers2 but1 in reality1 this was just what they did4 ,the fact that they have outstripped other similar transcendentalists is due to the circumstance that the original founders of the system were men of more powerful will and higher attainments than any who have succeeded them4 ,and on their death they formed a compact spiritual society in the other world1 impregnating the wills and imaginations of their disciples still on earth with their fantastic theories1 which they still retain there1 of a planetary chain1 and the spiral advance of the seven rounds1 and the septenary law1 and all the rest of it4 ,in order for human beings to come into these occult knowledges1 it is necessary1 as ,mr ,sinnett admits1 for the adepts to go into trance-conditions--in other words1 to lose all control of their normal1 or as they would probably call them1 their objective faculties4 ,while in this condition1 they are the sport of any invisible intelligences that choose to play upon them2 but fearing lest they may be accused of this1 they erroneously assert that no such intelligences of a high order have cognisance of what happens in this world4 ,the fact that mahatmas have powers which appear supernatural proves nothing1 as ,mr ,sinnett also admits that innumerable fakirs and yojis possess these as well1 whose authority on occultism he deems of no account1 when he says that 'careless inquirers are very apt to confound such persons with the great adepts of whom they vaguely hear4' ,there can be no better evidence of the falsity of the whole conception than you are yourself4 ,for to prove to you that you were the sport of a delusion1 although your own experience as a mahatma in regard to the secret processes of nature1 and the sensations attendant upon subjective conditions1 exactly corresponded to those of all other mahatmas1 you have1 under my tutelage1 at various times allowed yourself to fall into trance-conditions1 when1 owing to occult influences which we have brought to bear1 a totally different idea concerning 'nature1 man1 the origin of the universe1 and the destinies toward which its inhabitants are tending1' was presented to your sixth sense1 which appeared 'absolute truth' at the time1 and which would have continued to seem so1 had ,i not had the power of intromitting you through trance-conditions into a totally different set of apparent truths on the same subject1 which were no more to be relied upon than the other4 ,the fact is1 that no seer1 be he ,hindoo1 ,buddhist1 ,christian1 or of any other religion1 is to be depended upon the moment he throws himself into abnormal organic conditions4 ,we see best1 as you have now learnt1 into the deepest mysteries with all our senses about us4 ,and the discovery of this great fact was due to woman2 and it is for this reason that mahatmas shrink from female chelas--they are afraid of them4 ,according to their philosophy1 women play a poor part in the system of the universe1 and their chances of reaching the blissful condition of nirvana are practically not to be compared with those of the men4 ,there is no such thing as subjectivity apart from objectivity4 ,mr ,sinnett very properly tells you 'that occult science regards force and matter as identical1 and that it contemplates no principle in nature as wholly immaterial4 ,the clue to the mystery involved1' he goes on to say1 'lies in the fact1 directly cognisable by occult experts1 that matter exists in other states than those which are cognisable by the five senses2' but it does not become only cognisable subjectively on that account4 ,you know very well1 as an old mahatma1 that you can cognise matter now with your sixth sense as well as with your five while in a perfectly normal condition1 that you could not cognise except in trance- conditions before1 and which even then you could only cognise incorrectly4 ,the much-vaunted sixth sense of mahatmas needs sharpening as much as their logic1 for you can no more separate subjectivity from objectivity than you can separate mind from matter4 ,christians1 if they desire it1 have a right to a heaven of subjective bliss1 because they consider that they become immaterial when they go there2 but ,buddhists1 who admit that they are in a sense material while in devachan or nirvana1 and deny that their consciousness in that condition is in the same sense objective as well as subjective1 talk sheer nonsense4 ,ushas used a stronger expression here1 but out of consideration for my old mahatma friends1 ,i suppress it4 ',devachan'1 says our ,guru--speaking through his disciple in order to escape from this dilemma--'will seem as real as the chairs and tables round us2 and remember that above all things1 to the profound philosophy of occultism1 are the chairs and tables1 and the whole objective scenery of the world1 unreal and merely transitory delusions of sense4' ,if1 as he admits1 they are material1 why should they be more unreal than the chairs and tables in devachan1 which are also material1 since occult science contemplates no principle in nature as wholly immaterial8 ,the fact is1 that there is no more unreal and transitory delusion of sense than those 'states' known to the adepts as devachan or nirvana2 they are mere dreamlands1 invented by metaphysicians1 and lived in by them after death--which are used by them to encourage a set of dreamers here to evade the practical duties which they owe to their fellow-men in this world4 ',hence it is possible1' says our author1 'for yet living persons to have visions of devachan1 though such visions are rare and only one- sided1 the entities in devachan1 sighted by the earthly clairvoyant1 being quite unconscious themselves of undergoing such observation4' ,this is an erroneous and incorrect assumption on the ,guru's part4 ',the spirit of the clairvoyant1' he goes on1 'ascends into the condition of devachan in such rare visions1 and thus becomes subject to the vivid delusions of that existence4' ,vivid delusions indeed1 the fatal consequences of which are1 that they separate their votaries from the practical duties of life1 and create a class of idle visionaries who1 wrapping themselves in their own vain conceits1 would stand by and allow their fellow-creatures to starve to death1 because1 as ,mr ,sinnett frankly tells us1 'if spiritual existence1 vivid subjective consciousness1 really does go on for periods greater than the periods of intellectual physical existence1 in the ratio1 as we have seen in discussing the devachanic condition1 of #hj to #a at least1 then surely man's subjective existence is more important than his physical existence and intellect in error1 when all its efforts are bent on the amelioration of the physical existence4' ,this is the ingenious theory which the ,brothers of ,thibet have devised to release them from acknowledging that they have any other ,brothers in this world to whom they are under sacred obligations besides themselves1 and which1 owing to the selfish principle that underlies it1 has a tendency to sap the foundations of all morality4 ,so that we have this nineteenth-century apostle of ,esoteric ,buddhism venturing to assert to his ,western readers that 'it is not so rough a question as that--whether man be wicked or virtuous--which must really1 at the final critical turning-point1 decide whether he shall continue to live and develop into higher phases of existence1 or cease to live altogether4' ,we1 the ,sisters of ,thibet1 repudiate and denounce in the strongest terms any such doctrine as the logical outcome either of the moral precepts of ,buddha or of the highest esoteric science4 ,let the ,brothers of ,thibet beware of any longer cherishing the delusion that the ,sisters of ,thibet1 because their existence is purely objective1 'are therefore unreal and merely transitory delusions of sense4' ,we also have a secret to reveal--the result of twenty centuries of occult learning--and we formally announce to you1 the so-called adepts of occult science1 that if you persist in disseminating any more of your deleterious metaphysical compounds in this world under the name of ,esoteric ,buddhism1 we will not only no longer refrain1 as we have hitherto done1 from tormenting you in your subjective conditions while still in your rupas1 but1 by virtue of the occult powers we possess1 will poison the elements of devachan until subjective existence becomes intolerable there for your fifth and sixth principles1--your manas and your buddhis1--and nirvana itself will be converted into hell4 ,,adolphus3 ,a ,,comedy ,,of ,,affinities4 ,dramatis personae4 ,the ,,hon4 ,,adolphus ,,gresham4 ,the ,,earl ,,of ,,gules4 ,,adolphus ,,plumper4 ,mr ,,flamm4 ,,lady ,,elaine ,,bendore4 ,the ,,countess ,,of ,,gules4 ,mrs ,,plumper4 ,,charles4 ,,scene ,i4--,a railway carriage4 ,the ,earl and ,countess of ,gules--,lady ,elaine ,bendore--,the ,hon4 ,adolphus ,gresham4 ,elaine4 ,i must really beg of you to stop1 ,mr ,gresham4 ,you cannot think how you pain and surprise me4 ,i am sure ,i never had the least idea6 ,besides1 supposing papa or mamma should hear you4 ,adolphus4 ,lord ,gules is asleep1 and her ladyship is absorbed in her novel2 besides1 you may be sure that ,i have taken care to ascertain their sentiments before ,i venture to say what ,i have to you4 ,oh1 ,elaine1 if ,i could but hope6 ,train stops4 ,guard looking in4 ,all the smoking-carriages are engaged1 gentlemen2 but you'll find room in here4 ,enter ,adolphus ,plumper and ,mr ,flamm4 ,flamm seats himself opposite ,elaine1 and ,plumper opposite ,adolphus4 ,flamm aside to ,plumper4 ,by ,jove1 ,plumper6 you never told me you had a twin brother4 ,polish up your spectacles1 old man--you've made 'em damp by that race we had to catch the train--and look at your vis-a-vis4 ,plumper takes off his spectacles with great deliberation1 wipes them1 puts them on again1 and stares at ,adolphus4 ,plumper aside stammering4 ,dud-dud-dud-do you see a likeness8 ,dud- dud-dud-don't see it myself4 ,he's bab-bab-bab-bald1 and he's not sh-sh- sh-ort-sighted4 ,fl4 ,probably he doesn't stammer either4 ,i'll try presently4 ,positively1 if he wore spectacles and a wig of your hair1 ,i shouldn't know you apart4 ,lady ,gules aside to ,elaine4 ,did you ever see anything more extraordinary1 my dear8 ,what a horrid caricature of our dear ,adolphus ,gresham6 ,el4 aside4 ,i can't say ,i agree with you1 mamma4 ,i think he has a more intelligent expression--more soul1 ,i should say4 ,lady ,g4 ,you are quite ridiculous1 ,elaine4 ,half the girls in ,london have bean setting their caps at ,mr ,gresham for the last few seasons1 till they have given him up as invulnerable2 and now that you have a chance of becoming one of the richest peeresses in ,england1 you do nothing but snub him4 ,he is as clever and charming as he will be rich when his father dies1 and is certain to become a ,cabinet ,minister some day4 ,he's considered the most rising young man of his party4 ,el4 ,that he may easily be1 considering he is a ,conservative4 ,oh1 mamma6 how can you suppose that ,i would ever marry a ,conservative8 ,lady ,g4 ,i have no patience with you1 ,elaine2 a nice mess your ,radicals have made of it with ,egypt and ,ireland4 ,but we won't go into that now2 only remember this1 if he proposes1 and you don't accept him1 your father and ,i will be seriously displeased4 ,el4 sighing4 ,i'm sure the gentleman opposite is a friend of the people4 ,see6 he's reading the ',pall ,mall4' ,aside to ,adolphus4 ,mamma has just been telling me that she sees such a strange likeness between you and your opposite neighbour4 ,ad4 ,ah6 ,plumper--if the name on his hat-box is to be believed2 ,a4 ,plumper1 too4 ,i wonder whether ,a4 stands for ,adolphus8 ,i don't feel flattered4 ,el4 ,now that is nothing but ,tory prejudice4 ,i am sure he looks very distinguished1 though his name is ,plumper4 ,i have no doubt he's a self- made man4 ,pl4 ,pup-pup-pup-pardon me1 madam2 shall ,i put the window up8 ,i see you feel the dud-dud-dud-draught4 ,el4 ,thank you4 ,no2 ,i prefer it open4 ,but may ,i ask you to lend me your ',echo'8 it's a paper ,i like so much1 and so seldom see4 ,fl4 ,cheap1 but not nasty2 enjoys a vast circulation among the middle classes4 ,the ,conservatives are as far behind us in journalistic capacity as they are in parliamentary eloquence4 ,pl4 ,you must make allowances for my friend4 ,he's on the pup-pup-pup- press himself1 and expects shortly to get into ,pup-pup-pup-,parliament4 ,el4 ,oh1 ,i do so hope he will6 ,you don't think there is a reaction setting in1 do you8 ,papa says that ,mr ,gladstone is losing his hold on the country4 ,lord ,gules awaking with a snort4 ,not1 however1 before the country has lost its hold upon him4 ,he cares no more for his country1 sir1 than ,i do for the ,chinese in ,california4 ,he's a traitor1 sir1 to his principles2 he's-- ,el4 ,oh1 papa1 do stop6--here we are at the ,victoria--and we have no right to judge any one so harshly4 ,i assure you such strong expressions only make me feel more and more convinced how wrong you must be4 ,to ,plumper1 handing back his paper4 ,thank you so much4 ,i'm so sorry ,i have not had time to read it4 ,lady ,g4 ,good-bye1 ,mr ,gresham2 remember that you have promised to dine with us to-morrow night4 ,we shall be quite alone2 but ,i am sure you don't care about a party4 ,ad4 ,i need not say with what pleasure ,i shall look forward to it4 ,au revoir1 ,lady ,elaine4 ,aside4 ,you do not know how you have been tempting me to abandon all my cherished political convictions for your sake4 ,it is to be hoped that the ,radicals will not follow up their success with the caucus by organising the young ladies of their party and letting them loose on society as propagandists of their ,utopian ideas and political fallacies4 ,exeunt omnes4 ,,scene ,,ii4--,lady ,gules's ,boudoir4 ,elaine and ,adolphus4 ,ad4 ,dear ,lady ,elaine1 ,lady ,gules has given me special permission and opportunity to explain myself more fully than was possible yesterday4 ,please tell me why you were so surprised at what ,i said1 and why you think me so very objectionable8 ,el4 ,i don't think you at all objectionable1 ,mr ,gresham1 as a member of society2 on the contrary1 ,i think you charming2 though ,i do feel that1 magnetically1 we are wide as the poles asunder6 ,oh1 believe me1 we have no grounds of common sympathy1 either in matters of philosophical1 political1 or religious thought--and above all1 in art6 ,you seem to lack that enthusiasm for humanity which could alone constitute an affinity between us4 ,i was surprised1 because ,i had hoped to find in you an intelligent companion2 and mortified at the discovery that you could not rise to higher ground than that of an ordinary admirer1--men in these days seem to think that women have no other raison d'etre except to be made love to4 ,ad4 ,i do not think that is a new idea1 ,lady ,elaine2 but is it absolutely necessary1 in order that you should return the deep affection ,i feel for you1 that we should agree politically1 philosophically1 theologically1 and aesthetically8 ,in old days women did not trouble themselves on these matters1 but trusted to their hearts rather than to their heads to guide their affections4 ,el4 ,and so ,i do now4 ,i feel instinctively that we are not kindred spirits2 that the mysterious chord of sympathy which vibrates in the heart of a girl with the first tone of the voice of the man she is destined to love1 does not exist between us4 ,oh1 indeed1 indeed1 ,mr ,gresham1 although ,i adore ,frederic ,harrison as a thinker1 as much as ,i dislike ,mr ,mallock--though ,i read every word he writes as a duty--,i am not destitute of romance4 ,i am a profound believer in the doctrine of affinity4 ,who that accepts1 as ,i do1 the marvellous teaching of ,comte1 and remembers that the highest ideas which it contains were inspired by a woman1 could fail to be8 ,but ,i shall know the man towards whom ,i am destined to occupy the relation that ,comte's ,countess did to him1 at a glance4 ,no words will need to pass between us to assure us that we are one in sentiment4 ,it will be as impossible for him to be indifferent to elevating the taste of the masses in matters of domestic detail1 or be otherwise wanting in a whole-hearted devotion to the service of humanity1 or to scoff at the theory of evolution1 as it would be for him to accept the errors and superstitions of an obsolete theology1 or the antiquated dogmas of the ,conservatives about landed property4 ,ad4 ,and if ,i fulfilled all these conditions1 so far as a thorough philosophical and political sympathy was concerned1 would that avail me nothing to produce this hidden affinity8 ,el4 ,absolutely nothing4 ,in the first place1 you could not pretend to believe and feel what you did not believe and feel2 and in the second1 if you could1 ,i should instantly sense the absence of that internal attraction towards each other which would be irresistible in both4 ,you were right1 ,mr ,gresham1 when you said the heart and not the head should be the guide2 and ,i trust it absolutely--so give up a hope which must be vain4 ,believe me1 ,i feel deeply pained at having to speak so decidedly1 but it is better that you should be under no delusion4 ,still1 do not let me lose you as a friend whom ,i shall always esteem4 ,you will soon get over it1 and will have no difficulty in finding a wife who will suit you far better than ,i should ever have done4 ,ad4 ,there1 believe me1 you are mistaken2 but it is a point impossible to discuss4 ,good-bye1 ,lady ,elaine4 ,thanks for your frankness and patience with me4 ,perhaps ,i shall get over it1 as you say4 ,i shall take refuge in my yacht1 and try the curative effect of a cruise round the world4 ,it will be a year at least before we meet again4 ,exit ,adolphus4 ,el4 ,poor ,adolphus6 how absolutely impossible is love1 where the hidden sympathy of soul is wanting6--and yet how nice he is sighs1 and how manfully he accepted his fate6 ,what philosophy can really explain the mystery of that magnetic affinity called love1 which so unaccountably exercises its attracting influences over the whole animal creation1 and most probably over plants8 ,if it is a latent potentiality of matter1 how did it get there8 ,now for a scene with mamma4 ,exit ,elaine4 ,,scene ,,iii4--,the ,countess of ,gules's ,boudoir4 ,lady ,gules and ,lady ,elaine reading4 ,enter ,charles with card and letter4 ,el4 reading card4 ,mr ,adolphus ,plumper6 ,is the gentleman coming up- stairs1 ,charles8 ,charles4 ,no1 my lady2 he only left the card and this letter1 and said he would call again4 ,exit ,charles4 ,el4 opening letter4 ,from ,mr ,gresham1 mamma1 dated ,naples4 ,reads4 ,,dear ,,elaine1--,i felt so much touched by the kindness of your last words to me when we parted1 that ,i venture to hope that it may interest you to know1 as a friend1 how it has fared with me since ,i left ,england4 ,the curative process does not seem to have fairly set in yet1 but ,i am going to try the effect of a little mild excitement by joining the demonstrating fleets at ,alexandria4 ,for a month past ,i have been idling here2 and curiously enough1 the first person ,i stumbled upon in the ,chiaja ,gardens was ,mr ,adolphus ,plumper--our railway companion on the only journey ,i ever had the happiness to take with you1 and who seated himself by my side on a bench to which ,i had resorted for a quiet cigar4 ,as there are few foreigners here at this season1 we have been thrown almost daily together1 and ,i have been quite delighted to find how very much superior he is to what ,i thought he looked when you honoured me by pointing out our resemblance4 ,i ought to speak highly of him1 for he saved my life4 ,i took him a cruise in my yacht1 and the gig in which we were landing one day was upset in some breakers4 ,i had been stunned1 and should have been drowned had he not come to the rescue2 and ,i really feel that for this and some other reasons which ,i will explain when we meet1 ,i owe him a debt of gratitude that ,i can never hope to repay4 ,although he is too retiring by nature to say so1 ,i could see1 when ,i made some laughing allusions to the occasion of our first meeting1 that he would be glad to continue to make the acquaintance of ,lord and ,lady ,gules--in other words1 to continue the political discussion he then commenced with you4 ,singular to state1 he is an admirer of ,congreve and all that school1 so ,i am sure you will have plenty of topics in common4 ,mr ,plumper has made an enormous fortune as a contractor1 and now chiefly occupies himself with works of charity and benevolence4 ,one of his special hobbies is the introduction of the aesthetic principle into ,kindergartens4 ,i have given him a hint not to introduce his vulgar friend ,flamm--pardon me the expression1 though he is a ,radical4 ,i have given ,plumper a few lines to ,lady ,gules4 ,please do all you can to overcome the prejudice against him which both she and ,lord ,gules are sure to entertain2 and believe me1 yours faithfully1 ,,adolphus ,,gresham4 ,lady ,g4 ,a ,radical1 a plutocrat1 and an infidel6 ,that is a mixture that ought to suit you1 ,elaine4 ,el4 ,quite as well as a ,tory1 a spendthrift1 and a bigot1 which is the one ,i usually meet in society1 mamma4 ,but please do not let us quarrel4 ,i always try to be polite to your mixtures4 ,for ,mr ,gresham's sake1 be civil to mine4 ,lady ,g4 ,for ,mr ,gresham's sake1 indeed6 ,what have you done for ,mr ,gresham's sake that puts me under an obligation to him8 ,however1 ,i suppose we must ask the man to dinner4 ,is there any address on his card8 ,el4 #bj ,heavitree ,gardens4 ,lady ,g4 ,one of those millionaire palaces1 ,i suppose1 in the back regions of ,south ,kensington4 ,the carriage is waiting1 so ,i shall leave you to write the invitation4 ,you had better ask him for ,tuesday1 when we have got some people coming to dinner4 ,exit ,lady ,gules4 ,el4 taking up the letter1 reads4 ,now chiefly occupies himself with works of charity and benevolence4 ,one of his special hobbies is the introduction of aesthetic principles into ,kindergartens4 ,how refreshing to meet a man at last who takes a living interest in the welfare of his fellow-creatures6 ,i am sure ,i shall like him4 ,writes1 and rings the bell4 ,enter ,charles4 ,lady ,e4 ,please put this in the post1 ,charles4 ,exit ,charles4 ,now ,i must go and get ready to go out riding with papa1 and reconcile him to the dreadful idea of having a ,radical1 a plutocrat1 and an infidel at his dinner-table4 ,exit ,elaine4 7,a month elapses47 ,,scene ,,iv4--,lady ,gules's ,boudoir4 ,lord and ,lady ,gules4 ,lord ,g4 ,i tell you what it is1 my dear--we've only known that fellow ,plumper a month1 and he has already completely captivated ,elaine with his ,kindergarten1 and his sunflowers1 and his hatred of the landed interest and ,irish coercion1 and love of the cloture and humanity1 and ,buddha and ,brahma1 and ,zoroaster and ,mahomet1 and all the rest of them4 ,i must really take steps to find out whether ,gresham was well informed about his reputed wealth4 ,i shall ride down and take a look at #bj ,heavitree ,gardens to-morrow4 ,i haven't met a single man at the ,club who has ever heard of him4 ,lady ,g4 ,it's no use3 if he should turn out a pauper1 or even a swindler1 ,i am afraid ,elaine will marry him4 ,i saw it in her eye last night2 and so1 ,i should think1 did he4 ,he certainly can't complain of not receiving encouragement4 ,i only wonder that he has not yet proposed4 ,i believe the man to be capable of any act of audacity1 in spite of his languid manner1 and his long hair1 and short-sightedness1 and his stammer4 ,enter ,elaine4 ,lord ,g4 ,are you coming to ride with me1 or going out to drive with your mother1 ,elaine8 ,el4 ,neither1 dear papa4 ,i am too busy finishing a paper ,i am writing on the ,chiton2 or1 ,clothing for the masses on the principles of the ideal of the ancient ,greeks1 for the next meeting of the ,women's ,dress ,reform ,association4 ,lord ,g4 ,well1 take care you make them put enough on4 ,remember the climate1 if you ignore other considerations4 ,lady ,g4 ,and pray do not so far overstep the bounds of maidenly modesty as to consult your ,mr ,plumper on the subject4 ,exit ,lord and ,lady ,gules4 ,el4 sighing4 ,my ,mr ,plumper6 ,ah1 ,adolphus1 there is not a fibre in our bodies or souls--and why should not souls have fibres8--that does not vibrate in harmony6 ,we are like ,a,eolian harps that make the same music to the same airs of the affections1 while electrically our brains respond sympathetically to the same wave-current of idea4 ,emotionally1 intellectually1 we are one4 ,why should ,i allow an absurd custom of conventional civilisation1 degrading to the sex1 to prevent my telling him so8 ,what more inherent right can be vested by nature in a woman than that of telling a man that she loves him1 and that1 therefore1 he belongs to her8 ,hark6 his step4 ,my ,adolphus6 ,enter ,adolphus4 ,ad4 ,i have ventured to kuk-kuk-kuk-call1 ,lady ,elaine1 with the pap-pap- pattern ,i promised of female attire suited to all classes2 for why should we recognise any did-did-distinction between the folds which drape the form of the aristocrat and the pop-pop-pauper8 ,it is all in kuk-kuk-curves and circles2 there is not a straight line about it worn thus4 ,see how graciously it flows6 ,puts his head through a hole in the middle4 ,but allow me2 your form will do far more justice to it than mine4 ,takes it off and puts it on ,lady ,elaine4 ,ah1 how divinely precious6 ,gazes with rapture4 ,lady ,elaine sits down in it4 ,el4 ,dear ,adolphus1 why should this strained conventional formality exist any longer between us8 ,can we not read each other's thoughts8 ,can we not feel each other's hearts beating in sweet accord8 ,are we not formed and fashioned for each other8 ,let this exquisite garment1 which we have both worn1 be the symbol of that internal robe which costumes our united souls1 woven from the texture of our affections4 ,ad4 falling on his knees1 kisses its hem4 ,sweet symbol of sanctified intuitions6 ,tit-tit-tit-transparent--though it may seem tot- tot-tolerably thick2 for does it not reveal to me the workings of the soul of my beb-beb-beloved8 ,ah1 ,elaine1 how trifling do earthly treasures seem1 compared with those of the affections6 ,you will be mine1 for ever mine1 dud-dud-darling1 will you not--even though ,i may not have the riches ,i am supposed to possess8 ,el4 ,oh1 ,adolphus6 how can you ask me such a question8 ,what is the wealth of the pocket as compared with the wealth of the soul6 ,ad4 ,true6 oh1 quite intensely true6--for how sweetly sings the poet ,oscar on this theme6-- ,as like miners we explore ,hidden treasures in the soul1 ,and we pip-pip-pick the amorous ore ,firmly bedded in its hole2 ,new emotions come to light1 ,flashing in affections' rays1 ,scintillating to the sight1 ,with a tit-tit-tit-transcendental bib-bib-bib-blaze1 ,warming us until we burn ,with a glow of sacred fire1 ,and as coals to diamonds turn1 ,sparkling in us with did-did-did-desire4 ,el4 ,oh1 quite1 quite too lovely6 ,come1 ,adolphus--why should we linger here1 now that our troths are plighted8 ,why should we not at once brave the world together8 ,i need the sweet scents of the air1 the rustle of leaves1 the singing of birds1 the chattering of monkeys1 and the hum of nature4 ,let us go1 my love1 and walk in the ,zoo4 ,ad4 rising4 ,dud-dud-dud-do you intend to keep that on8 ,el4 ,what on8 ,ad4 ,this mystic garment of kuk-kuk-curves and circles4 ,el4 ,no2 ,i will keep it for a pattern and a sweet reminiscence4 ,now ,i will go and put on my ,louis ,quatorze hat1 and be back in a moment1 if you will go and call a hansom4 ,exit ,elaine4 ,adolphus bursts into a fit of uncontrollable laughter4 ,exit laughing4 ,,scene ,v4--,the ,zoological ,gardens4 ,el4 ,how sweet are these sights and sounds when hallowed by the consciousness of a beloved presence6 ,how one glows with affection towards every object in nature6 ,adolphus1 dear1 don't you feel1 with me1 that our hearts warm towards the hippopotamus8 ,ad4 ,mine is positively beating with the violence of my affection for him4 ,if he was not so wet and bib-bib-big1 ,i could throw my arms round him4 ,dear hippop-pop-pop-pop-otamoms6 ,el4 ,oh1 look6 there is that gentleman who got into the train with you on the blessed day that we first met4 ,mr ,flamm1 ,i think ,mr ,gresham said his name was4 ,enter ,flamm4 ,flamm4 ,ah1 ,plumper1 how are you1 old man8 ,i was looking for you everywhere4 ,why1 what have you done with ,mrs ,plumper and the children8 ,ad4 ,my mother and her little grandchildren1 you mean4 ,i was not aware that they were to come here to-day4 ,fl4 ,your mother6 and grandchildren6 ,why1 what the dev--- ,oh1 ah1 ahem6 ,aside4 ,i see--mum's the word4 ,oh fie6 sly dog6 ,naughty1 naughty6--but so nice6 ,whispers4 ,you are quite safe with me4 ,aloud4 ,yes1 dear old lady--she's getting too old to walk much now4 ,aside4 ,i only hope we shan't meet the young one4 ,a jolly row there'll be6 ,el4 ,i hope soon to have the pleasure of being introduced to ,mr ,plumper's mother4 ,i am sure ,i shall like her4 ,fl4 ,oh1 ,i am sure you will2 she is the dearest1 most delightful old lady6 ,aside4 ,at least ,i hope she is by this time1 for she was a horrid old cat up to the day of her death1 ten years ago4 ,by ,jove6 here come ,mrs ,plumper and the young uns4 ,now for it6 ,enter ,mrs ,plumper4 ,mrs ,plumper4 ,why1 ,adolphus1 where have you been8 ,excuse me1 madam2 ,i did not see that you were upon my husband's arm4 ,perhaps he'll have the goodness to present his wife to you4 ,el4 ,his wife6 her husband6 ,screams--faints4 ,mrs ,p4 ,yes1 madam4 ,you may well scream1 ,his wife6 her husband6 and then pretend to faint4 ,who else's wife do you suppose ,i am8 ,ad4 ,i am sorry ,i have no time for explanation now1 as ,i must attend to this young lady2 but if you will have the kindness to hold my hat1 ,mr ,flamm4 ,hands his hat to ,flamm4 ,and you1 madam1 to take care of these4 ,takes off his wig and spectacles and hands them to ,mrs ,plumper4 ,your own senses will explain a good deal4 ,as you may have already discovered1 ,i am not ,mr ,plumper at all2 in fact1 ,i perceive him approaching4 ,help me to hold her head a little higher1 please ,mr ,flamm2 and ,mrs ,plumper1 kindly undo the back of her dress1 or her stays1 or her chiton1 or whatever is underneath1 and let go everything generally1 so as to give her a chance of breathing4 ,enter ,plumper4 ,fl4 ,here1 ,plumper1 you're a medical man1 just come in the nick of time4 ,this gentleman here has been personating you for some reason or other1 and the discovery caused the young lady to faint4 ,mysterious1 isn't it8 ,ad4 ,not at all1 when you come to know the circumstances4 ,here is my card2 and you will find me ready to make any apology or offer you any satisfaction you may require4 ,meantime1 ,dr ,plumper1 let me implore you to assist me in bringing her to4 ,pl4 ,there now1 my gug-gug-good lady1 take a smell of this4 ,there now1 we are beginning to feel beb-beb-better already4 ,aside4 ,most extraordinary coincidence1 ,flamm3 this is the same lady and gentleman we travelled up to town with a kuk-kuk-couple of months ago2 and you remarked upon our wonderful resemblance to each other4 ,horrid bob-bob- bore1 a fellow's being so like you2 he can pip-pip-play all sorts of tricks upon you4 ,just a chance he did not get me into a did-did-devil of a scrape with ,jemima4 ,fl4 aside4 ,well1 you can always pay him off in his own coin--that is1 if you shave your head1 and throw away your spectacles1 and give up stammering4 ,pl4 aside4 ,but ,i can't--that's where he has the pup-pup-pull over me4 ,aloud4 ,there now1 one or two bib-bib-breaths1 and we are all right4 ,now1 dud-dud-don't go off again2 it can be all satisfactorily explained4 ,aside4 ,hang me if ,i know how6 ,el4 opens her eyes while ,plumper is bending over her--screams4 ,oh1 ,adolphus6--shuts them again ,pl4 ,there1 there1 my gug-gug-good lady1 ,i'm not ,adolphus2 at least ,i am ,adolphus1 bub-bub-but not your ,adolphus4 ,here1 ,mr ,gresham1 if you're her ,ad-dod-dod-dod-ol-phus1 you'd better take her4 ,el4 opens her eyes1 sees ,adolphus bending over her--screams4 ,oh1 where am ,i8--shuts them again4 ,pl4 ,in the arms of your ,adolphus4 ,we're bub-bub-both ,adolphuses4 ,i suppose1 if you'll rouse yourself a little1 you'll soon fif-fif-find out which is the right one4 ,ad4 ,lady ,elaine1 pardon me1 and ,i will explain all4 ,i am ,adolphus ,gresham4 ,i came back from ,naples a month ago1 and have deceived you by disguising myself as ,dr ,plumper4 ,i shall never forgive myself unless you forgive me4 ,el4 ,oh1 this is too horrible6 ,shrinks from him1 and bursts into a violent fit of weeping4 ,pl4 ,there1 that's capital6 ,nothing like a hearty fit of tears to kuk- kuk-comfort a woman when she finds herself in a mess4 ,now ,flamm1 if you call a kuk-kuk-cab1 we'll put her in and send her home4 ,exit ,flamm4 ,ad4 ,if you'll have the kindness1 ,dr ,plumper1 to give me your address1 and allow me to call upon you to-morrow1 ,i think ,i shall be able to give both ,mrs ,plumper and yourself a complete explanation of what must appear most extraordinary conduct on my part4 ,re-enter ,flamm4 ,fl4 ,the cab is ready4 ,ad4 ,now1 ,lady ,elaine1 if you will allow ,dr ,plumper and myself to assist you1 we will accompany you home4 ,exeunt omnes4 ,,scene ,,vi4--,lady ,gules's ,boudoir4 ,lord and ,lady ,gules--,adolphus4 ,lord ,g4 ,ha1 ha1 ha6 ,oh1 wait a moment1 my dear ,gresham1 or you'll kill me with laughing4 ,it's the best joke ,i ever heard in my life1 and most cleverly executed4 ,so you caught the ,radical1 ,comtist1 aesthetic little minx in her own trap4 ,oh1 excellent6 ,i can't say how thoroughly ,lady ,gules and ,i congratulate you on the success of your ruse1 and how happy you have made us4 ,my lady there is too pleased with the probable result to quarrel about the means4 ,but how you did take us all in6 ,i give you my word ,i never suspected you for a moment4 ,your stammer and wig were both admirable4 ,as for ,elaine1 she's torturing her brain with metaphysical doubts as to the nature of love1 and says she will never love again4 ,she tells her mother that her ,adolphus was an ideal personage who has no longer existence1 and that her love is buried with him2 but here she comes1 so we will leave you to fight your own battle4 ,exeunt ,lord and ,lady ,gules4 ,enter ,elaine4 ,ad4 ,dear ,elaine4 ,el4 ,sir6 ,ad4 ,nay1 rather ,adolphus than sir4 ,el4 ,how can ,i say ,adolphus8 there is no ,adolphus4 ,ad4 ,indeed there is--producing wig and spectacles--pup-pup-pardon me while ,i put them on4 ,if it was only my wig and spectacles you cared about1 did-did-dearest1 ,i will wear them and stammer through life fuf-fuf- for your sake4 ,el4 ,oh1 ,mr ,gresham1 how can you be so heartless8 ,you know very well ,i loved you--at least ,i didn't love you1--,i mean1 ,i thought ,i loved ,adolphus--at least ,i was sure of it at the time2 but ,i'm sure ,i don't now4 ,oh1 how cruel of you6 ,ad4 ,but if it was not my wig and spectacles and stammer for which you felt a magnetic affinity1 ,i want to know exactly what it was you did love2 because ,i am precisely the same human being without them as with them4 ,what about me struck that mysterious chord of sympathy which vibrated in your affections when ,i was ,plumper1 which failed to strike it as ,gresham8 ,why should not our hearts still beat in sweet accord without my wig8 ,why should not this exquisite garment1 which we have both worn--takes up the dress1 which is lying on a chair in the corner--be the symbol of that internal robe which costumes our united souls1 woven from the texture of our affections1 without my spectacles8 ,el4 ,mr ,gresham1 how dare you talk such nonsense8 ,the texture of our affections indeed6 mine are dead--basely1 foully murdered4 ,oh1 was ever woman so cruelly humiliated8 ,ad4 ,nay1 ,elaine1 ,i merely wished to prove to you that your aversion for me was entirely unfounded4 ,you have proved to me that your love for ,adolphus1 in the abstract1 is as baseless and unsubstantial4 ,i am not sorry under the circumstances that it should have been murdered1 for it was a poor exotic4 ,let us not attempt to analyse the mysterious nature of that passion which is too precious a plant to tear up by the roots in order to discover the origin of its existence1 but learn rather from this lesson1 so painful to us both1 that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of even in the philosophy of ,comte1 the doctrines of the aesthete1 or the politics of ,mr ,gladstone4 ,and now1 ,elaine1 farewell1--this time you need not fear my coming back from ,naples4 ,moves towards the door and lingers4 ,elaine puts her face between her hands and sobs convulsively4 ,ad4 ,elaine1 dear ,elaine returns softly and takes her hand1 do you wish me to go8 ,elaine shakes her head4 ,ad4 ,do you wish me to stay8 ,elaine shakes her head4 ,ad4 ,what do you wish me to do8 ,i must do either one or the other4 ,shall ,i stay and go alternately1 or shall we make a fresh start1 without prejudice1 as the lawyers say8 ,el4 ,oh1 how heartlessly you talk6 ,what do ,i care what the lawyers say8 ,can't you see how miserable ,i am1 and how hollow everything seems all at once8 ,i don't believe in any one1 and ,i don't feel as if ,i knew anything1 except that love is an inexplicable phenomenon of matter4 ,i shall become an agnostic4 ,re-enter ,lord and ,lady ,gules4 ,lord ,g4 ,well1 have you two young people come to an understanding8 ,take my word for it1 ,elaine1 an ounce of practice is worth a pound of theory in love-affairs1 and be thankful if the man is willing to become your husband1 who has had sufficient common-sense to teach you the lesson4 ,holloa6 whom have we here8 ,enter ,charles with cards4 ,lord ,g4 reads4 ,dr and ,mrs ,plumper and ,mr ,flamm1 to inquire for ,lady ,elaine ,bendore4 ,oho6 our friend ,plumper seems to know the difference between theory and practice at any rate1 and is evidently anxious to extend the latter4 ,to ,charles4 ,show them up4 ,ad4 ,i called upon the ,plumpers this morning1 and explained the whole affair to the entire satisfaction of the worthy couple4 ,adolphus and ,lady ,elaine whisper apart4 ,lord ,g4 ,i have to thank you1 ,dr ,plumper1 for the timely assistance you rendered my daughter--first1 in nearly sending her into a fit1 and then in bringing her out of it2 and am glad of this opportunity of expressing my sense of the obligation ,i am under to ,mrs ,plumper and ,mr ,flamm4 ,dr ,p4 ,oh1 don't mention it1 my lord2 ,i am sure ,i was only too gug-gug- glad to be of any assistance to ,mr ,gresham by being so like him as to frighten the young lady into a fif-fif-fit4 ,and as for bringing her to--,i always take the sal-volatile in my pup-pup-pup-pocket on ,mrs ,plumper's account4 ,ad4 ,and you'll accept me1 ,elaine1 as your husband1 even though ,i don't abandon my political aspirations1 or introduce aesthetic principles into ,kindergartens1 or adopt the philosophy of ,comte8 ,el4 giving him her hand4 ,oh1 ,adolphus1 you have convinced me that the loftiest of all aspirations1 the purest of all principles1 the supremest of all philosophies1 is-- ,ad4 ,a-dod-dod-dolphus6 ,footnotes3 #ha ,esoteric ,buddhism4 ,by ,a4 ,p4 ,sinnett1 ,president of the ,simla ,eclectic ,theosophical ,society4 ,,printed ,,by ,,william ,,blackwood ,,and ,,sons4