,transcriber's ,note3 ,printer's errors 
from the original book1 such as         
inconsistent hyphenation and missing    
punctuation1                     have   
been retained in this version of the    
text4                     ,a list of    
these errors is located at the end of   
the text4      ,,the ,,ladies' ,,vase2  
,or1 ,polite ,manual for ,young ,ladies4
  ,original and ,selected  by  ,,an     
,,american ,,lady  ,eighth ,edition4    
,hartford3 ,h4 ,s4 ,parsons and ,co4    
,stereotyped by ,richard ,h4 ,hobbs4    
,hartford1 ,conn4  #ahdi                
,,preface4   ,so many volumes have      
already appeared before the public1     
similar in character to this little     
work1 that it is with feelings of       
diffidence we bring our humble offering1
 especially when we consider the rich   
merit possessed by many of its          
predecessors4 ,but our apology must be  
found in the fact that these            
publications are1 from their size1 and  
consequent expense1 inaccessible to many

 of the class whose improvement they are
 so well adapted to promote4            
,considering the formation of female    
character and manners a matter of       
inestimable importance1 especially at   
the present age1 swayed as it is by     
moral rather than by physical force1 we 
have carefully availed ourselves of the 
best advice of some of our most         
judicious writers on female education2  
and1 by presenting our work in a cheaper
 form than any of this class which is   
now before the public1 hope to render it
 attainable to all those for whom it is 
especially designed4  ,april #af1 #ahdg4
     ,,contents4   ,,politeness1        
#g ,,true ,,and ,,false ,,politeness1   
#i ,,importance ,,of ,,good ,,manners1  
#ac ,,self-,,possession1                
#af ,,good ,,company1                   
#ai ,,friendship1                       
#ba ,,kindred ,,hearts1                 
#bh ,,conversation1                     
#cj ,,exaggeration1                     
#cd ,,egotism1                          

#cg ,,gentleness1                       
#dd ,,sisterly ,,virtues1               
#df ,,home1                             
#di ,,fireside ,,influence1             
#ea                       ,,the ,,teeth1
          #ed ,,personal ,,appearance1  
,,the ,,hair1           #eg             
,,the ,,hands1          #ei ,,dress1    
#fa ,,compression ,,of ,,the ,,lungs1   
#fd ,,letter-,,writing1                 
#fh ,,music1                            
#ga ,,flowers1                          
#gc ,,time1                             
#gf ,,novel-,,reading1                  
#he ,,female ,,romance1                 
#hi ,,behavior ,,to ,,gentlemen1        
#ie ,,marriage1                         
#aja ,,marriage ,,hymn1                 
#ajd ,,female ,,influence1              
#aje ,a ,,difficult ,,question1         
#aji ,,easily ,,decided1                
#aba ,,influence ,,of ,,christianity    
,,on ,,woman1       #acb ,,importance   
,,of ,,religion ,,to ,,woman1           
#acg     ,,ladies' ,,vase4              

,,politeness4   ,politeness1 like every 
thing else in one's character and       
conduct1 should be based on ,christian  
principle4 ,honor all men1 says the     
apostle4 ,this is the spring of good    
manners2 it strikes at the very root of 
selfishness3 it is the principle by     
which we render to all ranks and ages   
their due4 ,a respect for your          
fellow-beings--a reverence for them as  
,god's creatures and our brethren--will 
inspire that delicate regard for their  
rights and feelings1 of which good      
manners is the sign4  ,if you have      
truth--not the truth of policy1 but     
religious truth--your manners will be   
sincere4 ,they will have earnestness1   
simplicity1 and frankness--the best     
qualities of manners4 ,they will be free
 from assumption1 pretense1 affectation1
 flattery1 and obsequiousness1 which are
 all incompatible with sincerity4 ,if   
you have sincerity1 you will choose to  
appear no other1 nor better1 than you   
are--to dwell in a true light4  ,we have

 often insisted1 that the ,bible        
contains the only rules necessary in the
 study of politeness4 ,or1 in other     
words1 that those who are the real      
disciples of ,christ1 cannot fail to be 
truly polite4 ,thus1 let the young woman
 who would possess genuine politeness1  
take her lessons1 not in the school of a
 hollow1 heartless world1 but in the    
school of ,jesus ,christ4 ,i know this  
counsel may be despised by the gay and  
fashionable2 but it will be much easier 
to despise it1 than to prove it to be   
incorrect4  ,always think of the good of
 the whole1 rather than of your own     
individual convenience1 says ,mrs4      
,farrar1 in her ,young ,ladies' ,friend4
 ,a most excellent rule2 and one to     
which we solicit your earnest attention4
 ,she who is thoroughly imbued with the 
,gospel spirit1 will not fail to do so4 
,it was what our ,savior did            
continually2 and ,i have no doubt that  
his was the purest specimen of good     
manners1 or genuine politeness1 the     

world has ever witnessed2 the politeness
 of ,abraham himself not excepted4      
,,true ,,and ,,false ,,politeness4      
,every thing really valuable is sure to 
be counterfeited4 ,this applies not only
 to money1 medicine1 religion1 and      
virtue1 but even to politeness4 ,we see 
in society the truly polite and the     
falsely polite2 and1 although all cannot
 explain1 all can feel the difference4  
,while we respect the one1 we despise   
the other4 ,men hate to be cheated4 ,an 
attempt to deceive us1 is an insult to  
our understandings and an affront to our
 morals4 ,the pretender to politeness is
 a cheat4 ,he tries to palm off the base
 for the genuine2 and1 although he may  
deceive the vulgar1 he cannot overreach 
the cultivated4 ,true politeness springs
 from right feelings2 it is a good      
heart1 manifesting itself in an         
agreeable life2 it is a just regard for 
the rights and happiness of others in   
small things2 it is the expression of   
true and generous sentiments in a       

graceful form of words2 it regards      
neatness and propriety in dress1 as     
something due to society1 and avoids    
tawdriness in apparel1 as offensive to  
good taste2 it avoids selfishness in    
conduct and roughness in manners3 hence1
 a polite person is called a gentle man4
 ,true politeness is the smoothness of a
 refined mind and the tact of a kind    
heart4  ,politeness is a word derived   
from the ,greek word polis1 which means 
a city--the inhabitants of which are    
supposed1 by constant intercourse with  
each other1 to be more refined in       
manners than the inhabitants of the     
country4 ,from polis1 comes our ,english
 word polish1 which signifies an effect 
produced by rubbing down roughnesses    
until the surface is smoothed and       
brightened3 hence1 we speak of polished 
minds and polished manners4 ,persons in 
good society rub against each other     
until their sharp points are worn down1 
and their intercourse becomes easy4 ,the
 word urbanity comes from the ,latin    

word urbs2 that1 also1 means a city1 and
 it signifies politeness1 gentleness1   
polish1 for a similar reason4  ,in      
mingling with our fellow-men1 there is a
 constant necessity for little offices  
of mutual good will4 ,an observing and  
generous-minded person notices what     
gives him offense1 and what pleases him 
in the conduct of others2 and he seeks  
at once to correct or cultivate similar 
things in himself4 ,he acts upon the    
wise1 ,christian principle of doing to  
others as he would have them do to him4 
,hence1 in dress and person1 he is clean
 and neat2 in speech1 he is courteous2  
in behavior1 conciliating2 in the       
pursuit of his own interests1           
unobtrusive4 ,no truly polite person    
appears to notice bodily defects or     
unavoidable imperfections in others2    
and1 above all1 he never sneers at      
religion1 either in its doctrines1      
ordinances1 or professors4  ,false      
politeness is but a clumsy imitation of 
all this4 ,it is selfish in its object1 

and superficial in its character4 ,it is
 a slave to certain forms of speech1    
certain methods of action1 and certain  
fashions of dress4 ,it is insincere2    
praising where it sees no merit1 and    
excusing sin where it beholds no        
repentance4 ,it is the offspring of     
selfishness2 perverting the golden rule 
by flattering stupidity and winking at  
vice1 with the hope of being treated in 
the same way by the community4 ,it is a 
bed of flowers1 growing over a          
sepulchre1 and drawing its life from the
 loathsome putrefaction within4  ,yet1  
insincere and wrong as are the motives  
to false politeness1 it is1 after all1  
better than vulgarity4 ,it is the cotton
 batting1 that keeps the glass vases of 
society from dashing against each other4
 ,familiarity1 says the proverb1 breeds 
contempt2 and this is found true1       
whenever coarse minds with rude manners 
come in contact4 ,careless of the little
 decencies of society2 selfish in       
selecting the best seat in the room1 or 

the best dish at the table2 unwashed in 
person1 and slovenly in dress3 what is  
this but an open proclamation of utter  
disregard for others8 ,how soon contempt
 must follow6  ,let the young polish    
their manners1 not by attending to mere 
artificial rules1 but by the cultivation
 of right feelings4 ,let them mingle    
with refined society as often as they   
can2 and1 by refined society1 ,i do not 
mean those whom you find in the         
ball-room--in the theater--in the       
crowded party1 or those--however        
wealthy1 or richly dressed--you feel to 
be only artificially polite2 but ,i mean
 those who make you feel at ease in     
their society1 while1 at the same time1 
they elevate your aims and polish your  
manners4 ,what a good style is to noble 
sentiments1 politeness is to virtue4    
,,importance ,,of ,,good ,,manners4     
,there is something in the very         
constitution of human nature which      
inclines us to form a judgment of       
character from manners4 ,it is always   

taken for granted1 unless there is      
decisive evidence to the contrary1 that 
the manners are the genuine expression  
of the feelings4 ,and even where such   
evidence exists--that is1 where we have 
every reason to believe that the        
external appearance does injustice to   
the moral dispositions2 or1 on the other
 hand1 where the heart is too favorably 
represented by the manners--there is    
still a delusion practiced upon the     
mind1 by what passes under the eye1     
which it is not easy to resist4 ,you may
 take two individuals of precisely the  
same degree of intellectual and moral   
worth1 and let the manners of the one be
 bland and attractive1 and those of the 
other distant or awkward1 and you will  
find that the former will pass through  
life with far more ease and comfort than
 the latter2 for1 though good manners   
will never effectually conceal a bad    
heart1 and are1 in no case1 any         
atonement for it1 yet1 taken in         
connection with amiable and virtuous    

dispositions1 they naturally and        
necessarily gain upon the respect and   
goodwill of mankind4  ,you will         
instantly perceive--if the preceding    
remarks be correct--that it is not only 
your interest to cultivate good manners1
 as you hereby recommend yourself to the
 favorable regards of others1 but also  
your duty1 as it increases1 in no small 
degree1 your means of usefulness4 ,it   
will give you access to many persons1   
and give you an influence over those    
whom you could otherwise never approach2
 much less1 whose feelings and purposes 
you could never hope1 in any measure1 to
 control4  ,if ,i should point you to   
the finest model of female manners which
 it has ever been my privilege to       
observe1 says a late writer1 in a letter
 to his daughter1 and one which will    
compare with the most perfect models of 
this or any other age1 ,i should repeat 
a venerated name--that of ,mrs4 ,hannah 
,more4 ,it was my privilege1 a few years
 ago1 to make a visit to the residence  

of this distinguished female2 a visit   
which ,i have ever since regarded as    
among the happiest incidents of my life4
 ,at that time1 she numbered more than  
fourscore years1 but the vigor of her   
intellect was scarcely impaired2 and1   
from what she was1 ,i could easily      
conceive what she had been when her sun 
was at its meridian4 ,in her person1 she
 was rather small1 but was a specimen of
 admirable symmetry4 ,in her manners1   
she united the dignity and refinement of
 the court1 with the most exquisite     
urbanity and gentleness which the female
 character1 in its loveliest forms1 ever
 exhibited4 ,she impressed me           
continually with a sense of the high    
intellectual and moral qualities by     
which she was distinguished1 but still  
left me as unconstrained as if ,i had   
been conversing with a beloved child4   
,there was an air of graceful and       
unaffected ease2 an instinctive regard  
to the most delicate proprieties of     
social intercourse2 a readiness to      

communicate1 and yet a desire to listen2
 the dignity of conscious merit1 united 
with the humility of the devoted        
,christian3 in short1 there was such an 
assemblage of intellectual and moral    
excellences beaming forth in every      
expression1 and look1 and attitude1 that
 ,i could scarcely conceive of a more   
perfect exhibition of human character4  
,i rejoice that it is the privilege of  
all to know ,mrs4 ,more through her     
works2 and ,i can form no better wish   
for you than that you may imbibe her    
spirit1 and walk in her footsteps4      
,,self-,,possession4   ,self-possession 
is the first requisite to good manners2 
and1 where it is wanting1 there is      
generally a reason for it1 in some wrong
 feeling or appreciation of things4     
,vanity1 a love of display1 an          
overweening desire to be admired1 are   
great obstacles to self-possession2     
whereas1 a well-disciplined and         
well-balanced character will generally  
lead to composure and self-command4 ,in 

a very elegant assemblage1 in a large   
drawing-room in a ,southern city1 ,i saw
 a young lady walk quietly and easily   
across the apartment to speak to a      
friend1 who said to her3 ,i wanted very 
much to get to you1 but ,i had not the  
courage to cross the room4 ,how could   
you do it8--all alone1 too1 and with so 
many persons looking at you6 ,i did not 
think of any body's looking at me1 was  
the reply2 and in that lay the secret of
 her self-possession4 ,very modest      
people believe themselves to be of too  
little consequence to be observed2 but  
conceited ones1 think every body must be
 looking at them4 ,inexperienced girls1 
who are not wanting in modesty1 are apt 
to dread going into a crowded room1 from
 an idea that every eye will be turned  
upon them2 but after a while they find  
that nobody cares to look at them1 and  
that the greater the crowd1 the less    
they are observed4  ,your enjoyment of a
 party depends far less on what you find
 there1 than on what you carry with you4

 ,the vain1 the ambitious1 the          
designing1 will be full of anxiety when 
they go1 and of disappointment when they
 return4 ,a short triumph will be       
followed by a deep mortification1 and   
the selfishness of their aims defeats   
itself4 ,if you go to see and to hear1  
and to make the best of whatever occurs1
 with a disposition to admire all that  
is beautiful1 and to sympathize in the  
pleasures of others1 you can hardly fail
 to spend the time pleasantly4 ,the less
 you think of yourself and your claims  
to attention1 the better4 ,if you are   
much attended to1 receive it modestly1  
and consider it as a happy accident2 if 
you are little noticed1 use your leisure
 in observing others4  ,the popular     
belle1 who is the envy of her own sex   
and the admiration of the other1 has her
 secret griefs and trials1 and thinks   
she pays very dearly for her popularity2
 while the girl who is least attended to
 in crowded assemblies1 is apt to think 
her's the only hard lot1 and that there 

is unmixed happiness in being a reigning
 belle4 ,she1 alone1 whose steady aim is
 to grow better and wiser every day of  
her life1 can look with an equal eye on 
both extremes4 ,if your views are       
elevated1 and your feelings are ennobled
 and purified by communion with gifted  
spirits1 and with the ,father of        
spirits1 you will look calmly on the    
gayest scenes of life2 you will attach  
very little importance to the transient 
popularity of a ball-room2 your endeavor
 will be to bring home from every visit 
some new idea1 some valuable piece of   
information1 or some useful experience  
of life4     ,,good ,,company4   ,good  
company1 says ,duclos1 resembles a      
dispersed republic3 the members of it   
are found in all classes4 ,independent  
of rank and station1 it exists only     
among those who think and feel2 among   
those who possess correct ideas and     
honorable sentiments4 ,the higher       
classes1 constantly occupied with the   
absorbing interests of wealth and       

ambition1 formerly introduced into their
 magnificent saloons a grave and almost 
diplomatic stiffness of manners1 of     
which the solemnity banished nature and 
freedom4 ,the amusements of the lower   
classes1 which rather resembled a toil  
than a recreation1 present to the       
spectator a procedure irreconcilable to 
good taste4  ,there are1 moreover1 too  
many points of resemblance between the  
manners and education of the higher and 
lower classes1 to admit of our finding  
the elements of good society in either  
of them4 ,the lower orders are ignorant1
 from want of means of instruction2 the 
higher1 from indolence and perpetually  
increasing incapacity4 ,it is besides   
not a little curious that1 even in the  
bygone days of ceremonious manners1 the 
higher classes1 by whom they were       
practiced1 were uniformly taught by     
those illiterate persons of the lower   
classes who almost alone practice the   
art of dancing-masters4  ,it is         
therefore to the middle class1 almost   

exclusively1 that we must look for good 
society2 to that class which has not its
 ideas contracted by laborious          
occupations1 nor its mental powers      
annihilated by luxury4 ,in this class1  
it is truly observed1 society is often  
full of charm3 every one seems1         
according to the precept of ,la         
,bruyere1 anxious1 both by words and    
manners1 to make others pleased with him
 and with themselves4 ,there are slight 
differences of character1 opinion1 and  
interest2 but there is no prevailing    
style1 no singular or affected customs4 
,an unperceived interchange of ideas and
 kind offices produces a delightful     
harmony of thoughts and sentiments2 and 
the wish to please inspires those       
affectionate manners1 those obliging    
expressions1 and those unrestrained     
attentions1 which alone render social   
unions pleasant and desirable4          
,,friendship4   ,this subject was       
forcibly presented to my mind by a      
conversation ,i recently heard in a     

party of young ladies1 and which ,i take
 as a pattern and semblance of twenty   
other conversations ,i have heard in    
twenty similar parties4 ,friendship was 
7as it very often is7 the subject of the
 discussion2 and1 though the words have 
escaped my memory1 ,i can well recall   
the substance of the remarks4 ,one lady 
boldly asserted that there was no such  
thing as friendship in the world1 where 
all was insincerity and selfishness4 ,i 
looked1 but saw not in her youthful eye 
and unfurrowed cheeks any traces of the 
sorrow and ill-usage that ,i thought    
should alone have wrung from gentle lips
 so harsh a sentence1 and ,i wondered   
where in twenty brief years she could   
have learned so hard a lesson4 ,have    
known it1 she could not6 therefore ,i   
concluded she had taken it upon trust   
from the poets1 who are fain to tell all
 the ill they can of human nature1      
because it makes better poetry than     
good4  ,the remark was taken up1 as     
might have been expected1 by a young    

champion1 who thought1 or said without  
thinking1 that friendship was--,i really
 cannot undertake to say what1 but all  
the things that young ladies usually put
 into their themes at school3 something 
interminable1 illimitable1 and          
immutable4 ,from this the discussion    
grew2 and how it was1 and what it was1  
went on to be discussed4 ,i cannot      
pursue the thread of the discourse2 but 
the amount of it was this3--,one thought
 friendship was the summer portion only 
of the blessed2 a flower for the brow of
 the prosperous1 that the child of      
misfortune must never gather4 ,another  
thought that all interest being         
destructive to its very essence1 it     
could not be trusted1 unless there was  
an utter destitution of every thing that
 might recommend us to favor1 or requite
 affection4 ,this lady must have been   
brought to the depth of wretchedness ere
 she ever could be sure she had a       
friend4 ,some1 ,i found1 thought it was 
made up of a great deal of sensibility1 

vulgarly called jealousy2 that was1 to  
take umbrage at every seeming slight1 to
 the indescribable torment of either    
party4 ,some betrayed1 if they did not  
exactly say it1 that they thought       
friendship such an absolute unity1 that 
it would be a less crime to worship two 
gods than to love two friends6          
,therefore1 to bring it to its          
perfection1 it was necessary that all   
beside should be despised and           
disregarded4  ,others1 very young1 and  
of course soon to grow wiser1 thought it
 consisted in the exact disclosure of   
your own concerns and those of every    
body else with which you might chance to
 become acquainted2 others1 that it     
required such exact conformity in       
opinion1 thought1 and feeling1 as should
 make it impossible to differ2 and      
others1 that it implied such generous   
interference1 even with the feelings as 
well as affairs of its object1 that it  
should spend itself in disinterested    
reproaches and unasked advice4 ,but1    

however differing else1 all were sure   
that friendship but usurped the name1   
unless it were purely disinterested1    
endlessly durable1 and beyond the reach 
of time and circumstances to change it2 
and all were going forth in the full    
certainty of finding friends1 each one  
after the pattern of her own            
imagination1 the first speaker only     
excepted1 who was fully determined never
 to find any1 or never to trust them1 if
 she did4  ,i marked1 with pained       
attention1 the warm glow of expectation 
so soon to be blighted2 and1 reflected  
deeply on the many heart-aches with     
which they must unlearn their errors4 ,i
 saw that each one was likely to pass   
over and reject the richest blessing of 
earth1 even in the very pursuing of it1 
from having merely sketched1 in         
imagination1 an unresembling portrait of
 the object of pursuit4 ,when friendship
 meets them1 ,i said1 they will not know
 her4 ,can no one draw for them a better
 likeness8  ,it is the language of      

books1 and the language of society1 that
 friends are inconstant1 and friendship 
but little to be depended on2 and the   
belief1 where it is really received1    
goes far to make a truth of that which  
else were false1 by creating what it    
suspects4 ,few of us but have lived     
already long enough to know the         
bitterness of being disappointed in our 
affections1 and deceived in our         
calculations by those with whom1 in the 
various relationships of life1 we are   
brought in contact4 ,perhaps the        
aggregate of pain from this cause is    
greater than from any other cause       
whatever4 ,and yet1 it is much to be    
doubted whether nearly the whole of this
 suffering does not arise from our own  
unreasonable and mistaken expectations4 
,there are none so unfortunate but they 
meet with some kindness in the world2   
and none1 ,i believe1 so fortunate but  
that they meet with much less than they 
might do1 were it not their own fault4  
,in the first place1 we are mistaken in 

our expectations that friendship should 
be disinterested4 ,it neither is1 nor   
can be4 ,it may be so in action1 but    
never in the sentiment2 there is always 
an equivalent to be returned4 ,and if we
 examine the movements of our own       
hearts1 we must be sure this is the     
case2 and yet1 we are so unreasonable as
 to expect our friends should be purely 
disinterested2 and1 after having secured
 their affections1 we neglect to pay the
 price1 and expect they should be       
continued to us for nothing4 ,we grow   
careless of pleasing them2 inconsiderate
 of their feelings1 and heedless of the 
government of our own temper towards    
them2 and then we complain of           
inconstancy1 if they like us not so well
 as when dressed out in our best for the
 reception of their favor4 ,yet it is1  
in fact1 we that are changed1 not they4 
,another fruitful source of             
disappointment in our attachments is1   
that while we are much more quick in    
detecting the faults of others than our 

own1 we absurdly require that every one 
should be faultless but ourselves4 ,we  
do not say that we expect this in our   
friends2 but we do expect it1 and our   
conduct proves that we expect it4 ,we   
begin also with believing it4 ,the      
obscurities of distance2 the vail that  
the proprieties of society casts over   
nature's deformities2 the dazzling      
glitter of exterior qualities baffle1   
for a time1 our most penetrating        
glances1 and the imperfect vision seems 
all that we should have it4 ,our        
inexperienced hearts1 and some indeed   
that should be better taught1 fondly    
believe it to be all it seems1 and begin
 their attachment in full hope to find  
it so4 ,what wonder then that the       
bitterest disappointment should ensue1  
when1 on more close acquaintance1 we    
find them full of imperfections1 perhaps
 of most glaring faults2 and we begin to
 express disgust1 sometimes even        
resentment1 that they are not what we   
took them for4  ,but was this their     

fault1 or ours8 ,did they not present   
themselves to us in the garb of mortal  
flesh8--and do we not know that mortals 
are imperfect8--that1 however the       
outside be fair1 the interior is        
corrupt1 and sometimes vile8 ,he who    
knows all1 alone knows how corrupt it   
is6 the heart itself1 enlightened by    
,his grace1 is more deeply in the secret
 than any without can be2 but if the    
thing we love be mortal1 something of it
 we must perceive2 and more and more of 
it we must perceive as we look closer4  
,if this is to disappoint and revolt us1
 and draw harsh reproaches and bitter   
recriminations from our lips1 there is  
but ,one on whom we can fix our hearts  
with safety2 and ,he is one1 alas6 we   
show so little disposition to love1 as  
proves that1 with all our complainings  
and bewailings of each others'          
faultiness1 our friends are as good as  
will1 at present1 suit us4  ,but are we1
 therefore1 to say there is no such     
thing as friendship1 or that it is not  

worth seeking8 morosely repel it1 or    
suspiciously distrust it8 ,if we do1 we 
shall pay our folly's price in the      
forfeiture of that1 without which1      
however we may pretend1 we never are or 
can be happy2 preferring to go without  
the very greatest of all earthly good1  
because it is not what1 perhaps1 it may 
be in heaven4 ,rather than this1 it     
would be wise so to moderate our        
expectation1 and adapt our conduct1 as  
to gain of it a greater measure1 or1 as 
far as may be possible1 to gather of its
 flowers without exposing ourselves to  
be wounded by the thorns it bears4 ,this
 is only to be done by setting out in   
life with juster feelings and fairer    
expectations4  ,it is not true1 that    
friends are few and kindness rare4 ,no  
one ever needed friends1 and deserved   
them1 and found them not2 but we do not 
know them when we see them1 or deal with
 them justly when we have them4 ,we must
 allow others to be as variable1 and    
imperfect1 and faulty1 as ourselves4 ,we

 do not wish our readers to love their  
friends less1 but to love them as what  
they are1 rather than as what they wish 
them to be2 and instead of the jealous  
pertinacity that is wounded by every    
appearance of change1 and disgusted by  
every detection of a fault1 and ready to
 distrust and cast away the kindest     
friends on every trifling difference of 
behavior and feeling1 to cultivate a    
moderation in their demands2 a patient  
allowance for the effect of time and    
circumstance2 an indulgence towards     
peculiarities of temper and character2  
and1 above all1 such a close examination
 of what passes in their own hearts1 as 
will teach them better to understand and
 excuse what they detect in the hearts  
of others2 ever remembering that all    
things on earth are earthly2 and        
therefore changeful1 perishable1 and    
uncertain4     ,,kindred ,,hearts4      
,oh6 ask not1 hope thou not too much    
,of sympathy below2     ,few are the    
hearts whence one same touch1           

,bids the same fountain flow2     ,few1 
and by still conflicting powers         
,forbidden here to meet1     ,such ties 
would make this life of ours       ,too 
fair for aught so fleet4      ,it may be
 that thy brother's eye       ,sees not 
as thine1 which turns1     ,in such deep
 reverence1 to the sky       ,where the 
rich sunset burns2     ,it may be that  
the breath of spring1       ,born amidst
 violets lone1     ,a rapture o'er thy  
soul can bring1       ,a dream to his   
unknown4      ,the tune that speaks of  
other times--       ,a sorrowful        
delight6     ,the melody of distant     
chimes2       ,the sound of waves by    
night2     ,the wind that with so many a
 tone       ,some cord within can       
thrill2     ,these may have language all
 thine own1       ,to him a mystery     
still4      ,yet scorn thou not for this
 the true       ,and steadfast love of  
years2     ,the kindly1 that from       
childhood grew1       ,the faithful to  
thy tears6     ,if there be one that    

o'er the dead       ,hath in thy grief  
borne part1     ,and watched through    
sickness by thy bed1       ,call his a  
kindred heart4      ,but for those      
bonds1 all perfect made1       ,wherein 
bright spirits blend1     ,like sister  
flowers of one sweet shade1       ,with 
the same breeze that bend2     ,for that
 full bliss of thought allied1          
,never to mortals given1--     ,oh6 lay 
thy lovely dreams aside1       ,or lift 
them unto heaven4     ,,conversation4   
,good conversation is one of the highest
 attainments of civilized society4 ,it  
is the readiest way in which gifted     
minds exert their influence1 and1 as    
such1 is worthy of all consideration and
 cultivation4 ,i remember hearing an    
,english traveler say1 many years ago1  
on being asked how the conversational   
powers of the ,americans compared with  
those of the ,english--,your fluency    
rather exceeds that of the old world1   
but conversation here is not cultivated 
as an art4 ,the idea of its being so    

considered any where was new to the     
company2 and much discussion followed   
the departure of the stranger1 as to the
 desirableness of making conversation an
 art4 ,some thought the more natural and
 spontaneous it was1 the better2 some   
confounded art with artifice1 and hoped 
their countrymen would never leave their
 own plain1 honest way of talking1 to   
become adepts in hypocrisy and          
affectation4 ,at last one1 a little     
wiser than the rest1 explained the      
difference between art and artifice2    
asked the cavilers if they had never    
heard of the art of writing1 or the art 
of thinking8 and said he presumed the   
art of conversing was of the same       
nature4 ,and so it is4 ,by this art1    
persons are taught to arrange their     
ideas methodically1 and to express them 
with clearness and force2 thus saving   
much precious time1 and avoiding those  
tedious narrations which interest no one
 but the speaker4 ,it enforces the      
necessity of observing the effect of    

what is said1 and leads a talker to stop
 when she finds that she has ceased to  
fix the attention of her audience4      
,some persons seem to forget that mere  
talking is not conversing2 that it      
requires two to make a conversation1 and
 that each must be in turn a listener2  
but no one can be an agreeable companion
 who is not as willing to listen as to  
talk4 ,selfishness shows itself in this1
 as in a thousand other ways4 ,one who  
is always full of herself1 and who      
thinks nothing so important as what she 
thinks1 and says1 and does1 will be apt 
to engross more than her share of the   
talk1 even when in the company of those 
she loves4  ,there are situations1      
however1 wherein it is a kindness to be 
the chief talker3 as when a young lady  
is the eldest of the party1 and has seen
 something1 or been in some place1 the  
description of which is desired by all  
around her4 ,if your mind is alive to   
the wishes and claims of others1 you    
will easily perceive when it is a virtue

 to talk and when to be silent4 ,it is  
undue pre-occupation with self which    
blinds people1 and prevents their seeing
 what the occasion requires4  ,sometimes
 the most kind and sympathizing person  
will not do justice to her nature1 but  
will appear to be cold and inattentive1 
because she does not know that it is    
necessary to give some sign that she is 
attending to what is addressed to her4  
,she averts her eye from the speaker1   
and listens in such profound silence1   
and with a countenance so immovable1    
that no one could suppose her to be at  
all interested by what she is hearing4  
,this is very discouraging to the       
speaker and very impolite4 ,good manners
 require that you should look at the    
person who speaks to you1 and that you  
should put in a word1 or a look1 from   
time to time1 that will indicate your   
interest in the narrative4 ,a few       
interjections1 happily thrown in by the 
hearer1 are a great comfort and stimulus
 to the speaker2 and one who has always 

been accustomed to this evidence of     
sympathy1 or comprehension1 in their    
friends1 feels1 when listened to without
 it1 as if she were talking to a dead   
wall4  ,for the encouragement of those  
who feel themselves deficient in        
conversational powers1 we will subjoin a
 notice of the lately-deceased wife of a
 clergyman in this state3  ,i saw and   
felt1 when with her1 as few others have 
ever made me feel1 the power and uses of
 conversation4 ,with her it was always  
promotive of intellectual and moral     
life4 ,and here let me inform you1 for  
the encouragement of those who may be   
thinking they would gladly do as she did
 in society1 if they were able1 that    
when ,i first knew ,mrs4 ,b41 her powers
 of conversation were very small4 ,she  
was embarrassed whenever she attempted  
to convey her thoughts to others4 ,she  
labored for expression so much1 that it 
was sometimes painful to hear her4      
,still1 her social1 affectionate nature 
longed for communion with other minds   

and hearts1 on all subjects of deepest  
import4 ,her persevering efforts at     
length prevailed1 and her ardent love of
 truth gave her utterance3 yes1 an      
utterance that often delighted1 and     
sometimes surprised1 those who heard    
her2 a readiness and fluency that are   
seldom equalled4 ,learn1 then1 from her1
 my friends1 to exercise your faculties1
 whatever they may be4 ,in this way only
 can you improve1 or even retain them4  
,if you have but one talent of any sort1
 it may not1 with impunity to itself--it
 may not1 without sin to you--be wrapped
 in a napkin4 ,and sigh not for higher  
powers or opportunities1 until you have 
fully and faithfully exercised and      
improved such as you have4 ,nor can you 
know what you possess until you have    
called them into action4                
,,exaggeration4   ,it is a great mistake
 to suppose that exaggeration makes a   
person more agreeable1 or that it adds  
to the importance of her statements4    
,the value of a person's words is       

determined by her habitual use of them4 
,i like it much1 ,it is well done1 will 
mean as much in some mouths1 as ,i am   
infinitely delighted with it1 ',tis the 
most exquisite thing ,i ever saw1 will  
in others4 ,such large abatements are   
necessarily made for the statements of  
these romancers1 that they really gain  
nothing in the end1 but find it         
difficult sometimes to gain credence for
 so much as is really true2 whereas1 a  
person who is habitually sober and      
discriminating in his use of language1  
will not only inspire confidence1 but be
 able to produce a fine effect by the   
occasional use of a superlative4        
,fidelity and exactness are             
indispensable in a narrative1 and the   
habit of exaggerating destroys the power
 of accurate observation and            
recollection which would render the     
story truly interesting4 ,if1 instead of
 trying to embellish her account with   
the fruits of her imagination1 a young  
lady possessed the power of seizing upon

 the points best worth describing1 and  
could give an exact account of them1 she
 would be far more entertaining than any
 exaggeration could make her2 for there 
is no romance like that of real life1   
and no imaginings of an inexperienced   
girl can equal in piquancy the scenes   
and characters that are every day       
presented to our view4 ,extravagant     
expressions are sometimes resorted to in
 order to atone for deficiencies of     
memory and observation2 but they will   
never hide such defects2 and an habitual
 use of them lowers the tone of the     
mind1 and leads to other deviations from
 the simplicity of truth and nature4    
,another way of falsifying a narrative1 
is by taking for granted what you do not
 know1 and speaking of it as if you did4
 ,this jumping at conclusions is a      
fruitful source of false reports1 and   
does great mischief in the world4 ,let  
no one imagine that she is walking      
conscientiously1 who is not in the habit
 of discriminating nicely between what  

she knows to be fact and what she only  
supposes to be such4  ,the frequent use 
of some favorite word1 or phrase1 is a  
common defect in conversation1 and can  
only be guarded against by asking your  
friends to point it out to you1 whenever
 they observe such a habit2 for your own
 ear1 having become accustomed to it1   
may not detect it4 ,some persons apply  
the epithets glorious or splendid to all
 sorts of objects indiscriminately1 from
 a gorgeous sunset to a good dinner4  ,a
 young lady once tried to describe a    
pic-nic party to me in the following    
terms3 ,there were ten of us--four on   
horseback and the rest in carriages4 ,we
 set off at a glorious rate1 and had a  
splendid time in getting there2 ,i rode 
the most elegant1 perfect creature you  
ever beheld1 and capered along          
gloriously4 ,when we all got there1 we  
walked about in the woods1 and gathered 
the most splendid flowers1 and dined    
under the shade of a glorious old       
elm-tree4 ,we had our cold provisions   

spread out on the grass1 and every thing
 was elegant4 ,we had glorious          
appetites1 too1 and the ham and ale were
 splendid1 and put us all in fine       
spirits4 ,some of the gentlemen sang    
funny songs2 but one sang such a        
dreadfully sentimental one1 and to such 
a horrid doleful tune1 it made us all   
miserable4 ,so then we broke up1 and had
 a splendid time packing away the       
things2 such fun6 ,i had almost killed  
myself with laughing1 and we broke half 
the things4 ,but the ride home was the  
most splendid of all2 we arrived at the 
top of the hill just in time to see the 
most glorious sunset ,i ever beheld6    
,in this short account1 the word        
glorious is used five times1 and in all 
but the last1 it is grossly misapplied4 
,the same is the case with the word     
splendid1 except that it is not once    
used properly4 ,elegant1 too1 is equally
 inapplicable to horses and cold        
provisions4 ,yet this style of          
conversing is so common1 that it hardly 

arrests the attention of many1 who      
nevertheless would condemn it at once1  
if they thought at all about it4        
,,egotism4   ,has it ever happened to   
any but myself1 to listen to ,i1 ,i1 ,i1
 in conversation1 till1 wearied with the
 monotony of the sound1 ,i was fain to  
quarrel with the useful little word1 and
 almost wish ,i could portray its hydra 
head1 and present it in a mirror to my  
oracles1 that they might turn away      
disgusted for ever with its hideous     
form4  ,i took up my abode for some time
 with a lady1 whose habits of           
benevolence were extensive1 and of whose
 true philanthropy of heart ,i had heard
 much4 ,i expected to follow her to the 
alms-house1 the hospital1 and the       
garret1 and ,i was not disappointed4    
,thither she went1 and for purposes the 
kindest and most noble4 ,she relieved   
their pressing wants2 ministered        
consolation in the kindest tone2 and    
gave religious instruction wherever     
needed4 ,but1 then1 she kept a strict   

calendar of all these pious visitings2  
and that1 too1 for the entertainment of 
her company4 ,all were called upon to   
hear the history of the appalling scenes
 she had witnessed2 the tears of        
gratitude that had fallen on her hands2 
the prayers--half articulate--that had  
been offered for her by the dying2 and  
to hear her attestations of disregard to
 the opposition she had to encounter in 
these her labors of love4 ,who1 with    
such an appeal1 could withhold their    
commendations8 ,i1 therefore1 of course1
 as ,i listened again and again to the  
same tale to different auditors1 heard  
many pretty complimentary speeches about
 magnanimity1 c42 and1 getting somewhat 
weary1 ,i drew nearer to the lady's     
guests1 till ,i actually thought ,i     
heard from one--he was a clergyman1 ,i  
believe--an inward whisper that he would
 like to refer his friend to the four   
first verses of the sixth chapter of    
,matthew1 but that it would be impolite4
 ,if my listening powers were too acute 

when ,i heard this1 let me turn monitor 
at once1 and assure my young friends1 if
 they would have their conversation     
listened to with pleasure1 they must be 
economists with self as their subject4  
,on behalf of the very young1 we        
certainly have it to plead1 that they   
know very little of any thing but what  
is1 in some sense1 their own4 ,if they  
talk of persons1 it must be their       
parents1 their brothers and sisters1    
because they are the only people they   
know2 if they talk of any body's        
affairs1 it must be their own1 because  
they are acquainted with no other2 if of
 events1 it must be what happens to     
themselves1 for they hear nothing of    
what happens to any body else4 ,as soon1
 therefore1 as children begin to        
converse1 it is most likely to be about 
themselves1 or something that belongs to
 them2 and to the rapid growing of this 
unwatched habit1 may probably be        
attributed the ridiculous and offensive 
egotism of many persons in conversation1

 who1 in conduct1 prove that their      
feelings and affections are by no means 
self-engrossed4 ,but the more indigenous
 this unsightly weed1 the more need is  
there to prevent its growth4 ,it has    
many varieties2 the leaf is not always  
of the same shape1 nor the flower of the
 same color1 but they are all of one    
genus2 and our readers who are botanists
 will have no difficulty in detecting   
them1 however much affected by the soil 
they grow in4 ,the ,i's and my's a lady 
exhibits in conversation1 will bear such
 analogy to her character1 as the wares 
on the stall of the bazaar bear to the  
trade of the vender4 ,or1 if she have a 
great deal of what is called tact1 she  
will1 perhaps1 vary the article         
according to the demands of the market4 
,in fashionable life1 it will be my     
cousin ,sir ,ralph1 my father the ,earl1
 and my great uncle the ,duke2 the      
living relatives and the departed       
fathers2 the halls of her family1 their 
rent-rolls1 or their graves1 will afford

 abundant materials for any conversation
 she may have to furnish4  ,among those 
who1 having gotten into the world they  
know not how1 are determined it shall1  
at least1 be known that they are there1 
it is my houses1 my servants1 my park1  
my gardens2 or1 if the lady be too young
 to claim in her own behalf1 my father's
 houses1 c41 c41 will answer all the    
purpose4 ,but1 happily for the supply of
 this kind of talk1 rank and wealth1    
though very useful1 are not necessary to
 it4 ,without any ostentation whatever1 
but merely from the habit of occupying  
themselves with their own individuality1
 some will let the company choose the   
subject2 but1 be it what it may1 all    
they have to say upon it is the ,i1 or  
the my4 ,books1 travel1 sorrow1         
sickness1 nature1 art1 no matter1 it is 
,i have seen1 ,i have done1 ,i have     
been1 ,i have learned1 ,i have suffered1
 ,i have known4 ,whatever it be to      
others1 the ,i is the subject for them2 
for they tell you nothing of the matter 

but their own concern with it4 ,for     
example1 let the city of ,naples be     
spoken of3 one will tell you what is    
seen there--what is done there--what    
happens there--and making her           
reflections on all without naming       
herself2 you will only perceive1 by her 
knowledge and remarks1 that she has been
 in ,naples4 ,another will tell you how 
she came there1 and why she went1 and   
how long she staid1 and what she did1   
and what she saw2 and the things        
themselves will appear but as incidents 
to the idea of self4  ,some ladies ,i   
have known1 who1 not content with the   
present display of their powers1 are    
determined to re-sell their wares at    
second-hand4 ,they tell you all the     
witty things they said to somebody      
yesterday1 and the wise remarks they    
made to a certain company last night4 ,i
 said--,i remarked4 ,the commodity      
should be valuable indeed to be thus    
brought to market a second time4 ,others
 there are1 who1 under pretext of       

confidence--little complimentary when   
shown alike to all--pester people with  
their own affairs4 ,before you have been
 two hours in their company1 you are    
introduced to all their family1 and to  
all their family's concerns1 pecuniary  
affairs1 domestic secrets1 and personal 
feelings--a sort of bird's-eye view of  
every thing that belongs to them--past1 
present1 and to come2 and woe to the    
secrets of those who may chance to have 
been in connection with these egotists2 
in such a view1 you must needs see ten  
miles around4  ,there is an egotism1 of 
which we must speak more seriously4     
,faults1 that in the world we laugh at1 
when they attain the dignity and purity 
of sacred things1 become matter of      
serious regret4 ,i speak nothing further
 of the ostentatious display of pious   
and benevolent exertion4 ,we live at a  
time when religion1 its deepest and     
dearest interests1 have become a subject
 of general conversation4 ,we would have
 it so2 but we mark1 with regret1 that  

self has introduced itself here4 ,the   
heartless loquacity--we must say        
heartless1 for1 in a matter of such deep
 interest1 facility of speech bespeaks  
the feelings light--the unshrinking     
jabber with which people tell you their 
soul's history--their past impressions  
and present difficulties--their         
doctrines and their doubts--their       
manifestations and their                
experiences--not in the ear of          
confidence1 to have those doubts removed
 and those doctrines verified2 not in   
the ear of anxious inquiry1 to          
communicate knowledge and give          
encouragement1 but any where1 in any    
company1 and to any body who will       
listen1 the ,i felt--,i thought--,i     
experienced4 ,sorrows that1 if real1    
should blanch the cheek to think upon2  
mercies that enwrap all hearers in      
amazement1 they will tell as            
unconcernedly as the adventures of the  
morning4 ,the voice falters not2 the    
color changes not2 the eye moistens not4

 ,and to what purpose all this          
personality8 ,to get good1 or do good8  
,by no means2 but that1 whatever subject
 they look upon1 they always see        
themselves in the foreground of the     
picture1 with every minute particular   
swelled into importance1 while all      
besides is merged in indistinctness4    
,we may be assured there is nothing so  
ill-bred1 so annoying1 so little        
entertaining1 so absolutely impertinent1
 as this habit of talking always with   
reference to ourselves2 for every body  
has a self of their own1 to which they  
attach as much importance as we to ours1
 and see all others' matters small in   
the comparison4 ,the lady of rank has   
her castles and her ancestors--they are 
the foreground of her picture4 ,there   
they stood when she came into being2 and
 there they are still1 in all the       
magnitude of near perspective2 and1 if  
her estimate of their real size be not  
corrected by experience and good sense1 
she expects that others will see them as

 large as she does4 ,but that will not  
be so4 ,the lady of wealth has gotten   
her houses and lands in the foreground4 
,these are the larger features in her   
landscape2 titles and the castles are   
seen at a smaller angle4 ,neither lady  
will admire the proportions of her      
neighbor's drawing1 should they chance  
to discover themselves in each other's  
conversation4 ,she1 again--whether rich 
or poor--whose world is her own         
domesticity1 sees nothing so prominent  
as the affairs of her nursery or her    
household2 and perceives not that1 in   
the eyes of others1 her children are a  
set of diminutives1 undistinguishable in
 the mass of humanity1 in which that    
they ever existed1 or that they cease to
 exist1 is matter of equal indifference4
  ,it is thus1 that each one attributes 
to the objects around him1 not their    
true and actual proportion1 but a       
magnitude proportioned to their nearness
 to himself4 ,we say not that he draws  
ill who does so3 for1 to each one1      

things are important1 more or less1 in  
proportion to his own interest in them4 
,but hence is the mischief4 ,we forget  
that every one has a self of his own2   
and that the constant setting forth of  
ours is1 to others1 preposterous1       
obtrusive1 and ridiculous4 ,the painter 
who draws a folio in the front of his   
picture1 and a castle in the distance1  
properly draws the book the larger of   
the two3 but he must be a fool1 if he   
therefore thinks the folio is the       
larger1 and expects every body else to  
think so too4 ,yet1 nothing wiser are   
we1 when we suffer ourselves to be      
perpetually pointing to ourselves1 our  
affairs1 and our possessions1 as if they
 were as interesting to others as they  
are important to us4     ,,gentleness4  
,nothing is so likely to conciliate the 
affections of the other sex1 as a       
feeling that woman looks to them for    
support and guidance4 ,in proportion as 
men are themselves superior1 they are as
 accessible to this appeal4 ,on the     

contrary1 they never feel interested in 
one who seems disposed rather to offer  
than to ask assistance4 ,there is1      
indeed1 something unfeminine in         
independence4 ,it is contrary to nature 
and1 therefore1 it offends4 ,we do not  
like to see a woman affecting tremors1  
but still less do we like to see her    
acting the ,amazon4 ,a really sensible  
woman feels her dependence2 she does    
what she can1 but she is conscious of   
inferiority1 and1 therefore1 grateful   
for support2 she knows that she is the  
weaker vessel1 and that1 as such1 she   
should receive honor4  ,in every thing1 
therefore1 that women attempt1 they     
should show their consciousness of      
dependence4 ,if they are learners1 let  
them evince a teachable spirit2 if they 
give an opinion1 let them do it in an   
unassuming manner4 ,there is something  
so unpleasant in female                 
self-sufficiency1 that it not           
unfrequently deters1 instead of         
persuading1 and prevents the adoption of

 advice which the judgment even         
approves4 ,yet this is a fault into     
which women1 of certain pretensions1 are
 occasionally betrayed4 ,age1 or        
experience1 or superior endowment1      
entitles them1 they imagine1 to assume a
 higher place and a more independent    
tone4 ,but their sex should ever teach  
them to be subordinate2 and they should 
remember that influence is obtained1 not
 by assumption1 but by a delicate appeal
 to affection or principle4 ,women1 in  
this respect1 are something like        
children2 the more they show their need 
of support1 the more engaging they are4 
,the appropriate expression of          
dependence is gentleness4 ,however      
endowed with superior talents a woman   
may be1 without gentleness she cannot be
 agreeable4 ,gentleness ought to be the 
characteristic of the sex2 and there is 
nothing that can compensate for the want
 of this feminine attraction4           
,gentleness is1 indeed1 the talisman of 
woman4 ,to interest the feelings is to  

her much easier than to convince the    
judgment2 the heart is far more         
accessible to her influence than the    
head4 ,she never gains so much as by    
concession2 and is never so likely to   
overcome1 as when she seems to yield4   
,gentleness prepossesses at first sight2
 it insinuates itself into the vantage  
ground1 and gains the best position by  
surprise4 ,while a display of skill and 
strength calls forth a counter array1   
gentleness1 at once1 disarms opposition1
 and wins the day before it is          
contested4     ,,sisterly ,,virtues4    
,sisterly affection is as graceful in   
its developments to the eye of the      
beholder1 as it is cheering to the heart
 where it resides4 ,there are some who1 
though not deficient in its more        
important duties1 are but too regardless
 of those lesser demonstrations of      
attachment1 which are so soothing to the
 susceptible heart4 ,every delicate     
attention which tenderness prompts2     
every mark of politeness which refined  

society requires1 ought to pervade the  
intercourse of brothers and sisters4 ,it
 is a mistake that good manners are to  
be reserved for visitors1 and that1 in  
the family circle1 negligence and       
coarseness may be indulged with         
impunity4 ,even nature's affections may 
be undermined or shaken by perseverance 
in an improper deportment1 more than by 
lapses into error and folly4 ,for the   
latter1 repentance may atone1 while the 
former check the flow of the heart's    
warm fountains1 until they stagnate or  
become congealed4  ,i knew a father1    
himself a model of polished manners1 who
 required of his large family to treat  
each other1 at all times1 with the same 
politeness that they felt was due to    
their most distinguished guest4         
,rudeness1 neglect1 or indifference were
 never tolerated in their circle4       
,respect to each other's opinion2 a     
disposition to please and be pleased2   
care in dress1 and courtesy of manner1  
were not considered thrown away1 if     

bestowed on a brother or a sister4      
,every one of the group was instructed  
to bring amiable feelings and powers of 
entertainment to their own fire side4   
,the result was happy4 ,the brothers    
felt it an honor to wait upon their     
sisters1 and the sisters a pleasure to  
do all in their power for the comfort   
and improvement of their brothers4 ,this
 daily practice of every decorum1       
imparted to their manners an enduring   
grace1 while the affections1 which      
,heaven implanted1 seemed to gather     
strength from the beauty of their       
interchange4 ,i would not assert that   
fraternal or sisterly affection may not 
be deep and pervading without such an   
exterior1 yet it is surely rendered more
 lovely by it2 as the planets might     
pursue in darkness the order of their   
course1 but it is their brilliance which
 reveals and embellishes it4  ,every    
well-regulated family might be as a     
perpetual school4 ,the younger members1 
witnessing the example of those whose   

excellence is more confirmed1 will be   
led1 by the principle of imitation1 more
 effectually1 than by the whole force of
 foreign precept4 ,the custom of the    
older daughters1 to assist in the       
education of their less advanced        
sisters1 ,i rejoice to see1 is becoming 
more common4 ,it cannot be too highly   
applauded4 ,what should prevent their   
assuming the systematic office of       
instructors1 when circumstances are     
favorable to such an arrangement4  ,by  
what method can a daughter more fully   
evince her gratitude to her parents1    
than by aiding their children in the    
search of knowledge and of goodness4    
,how amiable1 how praiseworthy1 is that 
disposition which prompts a young and   
beautiful creature to come forth as the 
ally of a mother1 in that most          
overwhelming of all anxieties1 so to    
train her little ones as to form at last
 an unbroken family in heaven4 ,no      
better apprenticeship could be devised1 
and no firmer hostage given to ,god or  

man for its faithful performance4       
,,home4       ,where burns the lov'd    
hearth brightest1       ,cheering the   
social breast8     ,where beats the fond
 heart lightest1       ,its humble hopes
 possess'd8     ,where is the smile of  
sadness1       ,of meek-eyed patience   
born1     ,worth more than those of     
gladness1       ,which mirth's bright   
cheek adorn8     ,pleasure is marked by 
fleetness1       ,to those who ever     
roam2     ,while grief itself has       
sweetness       ,at home6 dear home6    
,there blend the ties that strengthen   
,our hearts in hours of grief2     ,the 
silver links that lengthen       ,joy's 
visits when most brief2     ,there eyes1
 in all their splendor1       ,are vocal
 to the heart1     ,and glances1 gay or 
tender1       ,fresh eloquence impart2  
,then1 dost thou sigh for pleasure8     
,o6 do not widely roam1     ,but seek   
that hidden treasure       ,at home6    
dear home6      ,does pure religion     
charm thee       ,far more than aught   

below8     ,would'st thou that she      
should arm thee       ,against the hour 
of woe8     ,think not she dwelleth only
       ,in temples built for prayer2    
,for home itself is lonely1             
,unless her smiles be there2     ,the   
devotee may falter1       ,the bigot    
blindly roam1     ,if worshipless her   
altar       ,at home6 dear home6        
,love over it presideth1       ,with    
meek and watchful awe1     ,its daily   
service guideth1       ,and shows its   
perfect law8     ,if there thy faith    
shall fail thee1       ,if there no     
shrine be found1     ,what can thy      
prayers avail thee       ,with kneeling 
crowds around8     ,go6 leave thy gift  
unoffered       ,beneath religion's     
dome1     ,and be thy first fruits      
proffered       ,at home6 dear home6    
,,fireside ,,influence4   ,is it not    
true that parents are the lawgivers of  
their children8 ,does not a mother's    
counsel--does not a father's            
example--cling to the memory1 and haunt 

us through life8 ,do we not often find  
ourselves subject to habitual trains of 
thought8 and1 if we seek to discover the
 origin of these1 are we not insensibly 
led back1 by some beaten and familiar   
track1 to the paternal threshold8 ,do we
 not often discover some home-chiseled  
grooves in our minds1 into which the    
intellectual machinery seems to slide1  
as by a sort of necessity8 ,is it not1  
in short1 a proverbial truth1 that the  
controlling lessons of life are given   
beneath the parental roof8 ,we know1    
indeed1 that wayward passions spring up 
in early life1 and1 urging us to set    
authority at defiance1 seek to obtain   
the mastery of the heart4 ,but1 though  
struggling for liberty and license1 the 
child is shaped and molded by the       
parent4 ,the stream that bursts from the
 fountain1 and seems to rush forward    
headlong and self-willed1 still turns   
hither and thither1 according to the    
shape of its mother-earth over which it 
flows4 ,if an obstacle is thrown across 

its path1 it gathers strength1 breaks   
away the barrier1 and again bounds      
forward4 ,it turns1 and winds1 and      
proceeds on its course1 till it reaches 
its destiny in the sea4 ,but1 in all    
this1 it has shaped its course and      
followed out its career1 from babbling  
infancy at the fountain to its          
termination in the great reservoir of   
waters1 according to the channel which  
its parent earth has provided4 ,such is 
the influence of a parent over his      
child4 ,it has within itself a will1 and
 at its bidding it goes forward1 but the
 parent marks out its track4 ,he may not
 stop its progress1 but he may guide its
 course4 ,he may not throw a dam across 
its path1 and say to it1 hitherto mayest
 thou go1 and no farther2 but he may    
turn it through safe1 and gentle1 and   
useful courses--or he may leave it to   
plunge over wild cataracts1 or lose     
itself in some sandy desert1 or collect 
its strength into a torrent1 but to     
spread ruin and desolation along its    

borders4  ,the fireside1 then1 is a     
seminary of infinite importance3 it is  
important1 because it is universal1 and 
because the education it bestows1 being 
woven in with the woof of childhood1    
gives form and color to the whole       
texture of life4 ,there are few who can 
receive the honors of a college1 but all
 are graduates of the hearth4 ,the      
learning of the university may fade from
 the recollection1 its classic lore may 
molder in the halls of memory2 but the  
simple lessons of home1 enameled upon   
the heart of childhood1 defy the rust of
 years1 and outlive the more mature but 
less vivid pictures of after days4 ,so  
deep1 so lasting1 indeed1 are the       
impressions of early life1 that we often
 see a man1 in the imbecility of age1   
holding fresh in his recollection the   
events of childhood1 while all the wide 
space between that and the present hour 
is a blasted and forgotten waste4 ,you  
have perchance seen an old and          
half-obliterated portrait1 and1 in the  

attempt to have it cleaned and restored1
 may have seen it fade away1 while a    
brighter and more perfect picture1      
painted beneath1 is revealed to view4   
,this portrait1 first drawn upon the    
canvas1 is no inapt illustration of     
youth2 and1 though it may be concealed  
by some after-design1 still the original
 traits will shine through the outward  
picture1 giving it tone while fresh1 and
 surviving it in decay4 ,such is the    
fireside--the great institution         
furnished by ,providence for the        
education of man4     ,,personal        
,,appearance4   ,,the ,,teeth4  ,the    
prevalence of defective teeth in this   
country is the general subject of remark
 by foreigners2 and whoever has traveled
 in ,spain and ,portugal is struck with 
the superior soundness and whiteness of 
teeth in those countries4 ,though not a 
cleanly people in other respects1 they  
wash their teeth often1 and1 by means of
 toothpicks1 carefully remove all       
substances from between them after      

meals4 ,a little silver porcupine1 with 
holes all over its back to insert       
toothpicks1 is a common ornament on the 
dining tables of ,spain and ,portugal4  
,the general use of them creates so     
large a demand1 that students at        
,coimbra sometimes support themselves by
 whittling toothpicks1 which are sold   
tied in small bunches like matches4     
,they are made of willow1 on account of 
its toughness and pliability4           
,toothpicks of metal are too hard1 and  
are apt to injure the gums4 ,there is   
the same objection1 in a less degree1 to
 quills4 ,but willow toothpicks are     
preferable to all others2 and they have 
the advantage of being the most cleanly1
 for they generally break in the using1 
and are thrown away4 ,few sights are    
more offensive to a person of any       
refinement than a toothpick that has    
been much used2 it is1 moreover1        
uncleanly1 and therefore not healthy for
 the teeth4 ,food allowed to remain     
between the teeth1 particularly animal  

food1 is very destructive3 it should be 
carefully removed after every meal1 and 
the mouth thoroughly rinsed4 ,this may  
seem to some like a great talk about a  
small matter2 but these are simple      
precautions to take1 and very slight    
trouble compared with the agony of      
aching teeth1 or a breath so offensive  
that your best friend does not wish to  
sit near you4 ,i can see no reason why a
 man's complexion should exclude him    
from the dining-table1 but ,i do see a  
very good reason why he should be       
banished for not taking proper care of  
his teeth4 ,a bad breath is such a      
detestable thing1 that it might be a    
sufficient reason for not marrying a    
person of otherwise agreeable qualities4
 ,it is1 moreover1 perfectly inexcusable
 thus to transform oneself into a       
walking sepulchre4 ,nobody needs to have
 an offensive breath4 ,a careful removal
 of substances from between the teeth1  
rinsing the mouth after meals1 and a bit
 of charcoal held in the mouth1 will    

always cure a bad breath4 ,charcoal1    
used as a dentifrice--that is1 rubbed on
 in powder with a brush--is apt to      
injure the enamel2 but a lump of it1    
held in the mouth1 two or three times in
 a week1 and slowly chewed1 has a       
wonderful power to preserve the teeth   
and purify the breath4 ,the action is   
purely chemical4 ,it counteracts the    
acid arising from a disordered stomach1 
or food decaying about the gums2 and it 
is the acid which destroys the teeth4   
,every one knows that charcoal is an    
antiputrescent1 and is used in boxing up
 animal or vegetable substances1 to keep
 them from decay4 ,upon the same        
chemical principle1 it tends to preserve
 the teeth and sweeten the breath4      
,there is no danger from swallowing it2 
on the contrary1 small quantities have a
 healthful effect on the inward system1 
particularly when the body is suffering 
from that class of complaints peculiarly
 incident to summer4 ,it would not be   
wise to swallow that or any other gritty

 substance1 in large quantities1 or very
 frequently2 but1 once or twice a week1 
a little would be salutary1 rather than 
otherwise4 ,a bit of charcoal1 as big as
 a cherry1 merely held in the mouth a   
few hours1 without chewing1 has a good  
effect4 ,at first1 most persons dislike 
to chew it1 but use soon renders it far 
from disagreeable4 ,those who are       
troubled with an offensive breath might 
chew it very often and swallow it but   
seldom4 ,it is particularly important to
 clean and rinse the mouth thoroughly   
before going to bed2 otherwise a great  
deal of the destructive acid will form  
during the night4  ,if these hints      
induce only one person to take better   
care of the teeth1 ,i shall be more than
 rewarded for the trouble of writing4   
,it is painful to see young persons     
losing their teeth merely for want of a 
few simple precautions2 and one cannot  
enter stage or steam-car without finding
 the atmosphere polluted1 and rendered  
absolutely unhealthy for the lungs to   

breathe1 when a proper use of water and 
charcoal might render it as wholesome   
and pleasant as a breeze of ,eden4      
,,the ,,hair4  ,no part of the human    
frame offers a finer subject for the    
display of decorative taste and elegance
 than the hair3--the countenance1 the   
contour of the head1 and even the whole 
person1 may be said to be greatly       
affected by its arrangement and dress4  
,as the possession of fine hair is      
peculiarly prized1 so is its loss       
proportionally felt4  ,like every other 
portion of the human frame1 the use of  
water to the hair is absolutely         
essential to its health1 as it tends to 
relieve the secretions and open the     
pores of the skin4 ,the frequency of the
 use of water1 however1 should be guided
 by circumstances4 ,it may be set down  
as a regulating principle1 that the     
stronger and more healthy the hair may  
be1 the more water may be used with     
propriety2 by the same rule1 when the   
hair is weak and thin1 it should not be 

washed more than once a-week4 ,at such  
times1 cold water alone should be used1 
when care should be taken to dry it well
 immediately after4 ,washing too often1 
dries up the requisite oily fluid that  
forms the nourishment of the hair4      
,some judgment is necessary in the      
choice of brushes4 ,two are necessary3 a
 penetrating and a polishing brush2 the 
one composed of strong1 and the other of
 fine hair4 ,the penetrating brush      
7especially that used by ladies7 should 
be made of elastic hairs1 rather        
inclining to irregular lengths4 ,the    
other should be made of firm1 soft1     
silken hair1 thickly studded4           
,unfortunately1 however1 we cannot but  
observe that penetrating brushes are    
often selected1 so harsh and strong1    
that they fret the skin of the head1 and
 injure the roots1 instead of gently and
 gradually effecting the object for     
which they were intended4  ,combs are   
merely used for the purpose of giving a 
form to the hair1 and assisting in its  

decorative arrangement2 to use them too 
often1 is rather prejudicial than       
otherwise1 as they injure the roots of  
the hair4 ,above all kinds1 that of the 
small-toothed comb is the most injurious
 in this respect1 as it not only        
inflames the tender skin1 but1 from the 
fineness of its teeth1 splits and       
crushes the hairs in being passed       
through them4 ,persons must indeed be of
 very uncleanly habits1 whose heads     
absolutely require the aid of this comb1
 as the brush alone sufficiently        
possesses the power of effectually      
cleaning the hair from scurf1 dandriff1 
and dust1 if constantly used4  ,to      
persons whose hair is in a declining    
state1 the frequent and regular use of  
oil or bear's grease is often of much   
service1 as it is calculated to assist  
in supplying that nourishment which is  
so necessary4 ,no oil perhaps has ever  
acquired a greater celebrity than       
,rowland's ,macassar2 for this reason we
 cannot but recommend it to the notice  

of our readers4  ,one of the most       
pernicious methods of dressing the hair1
 at the expense of its health1 is by    
curling4 ,this not only dries up the    
moisture that circulates through the    
hairs1 but the heat and compression thus
 used completely prevent proper         
circulation4 ,when1 however1 the habit  
is persisted in1 its ill effects may be 
much obviated by constantly brushing the
 hair well1 and having it frequently    
cut1 by which means the necessary       
circulation is kept up1 and the roots   
invigorated4   ,,the ,,hands4  ,why     
don't my hands look and feel as it would
 seem that the perfect ,author of all   
things would have them8 ,how many a     
young man and woman have asked this     
question6 and are troubled to know why  
it is that some persons have such       
bloodless hands1 perfect nails1 so free 
from hang-nails1 as they are called1    
while their own hands look so much like 
duck's feet or bird's claws4  ,all sorts
 of cosmetics1 the most penetrating     

oils1 rubbing and scouring the hands1   
paring and scraping the nails1 and      
cutting round the roots of the nails1   
are resorted to1 in hopes of making     
their hands appear natural2 but all     
avails nothing1 and many a poor hand is 
made to perform all its manipulations   
incognito4 ,about the piano1 in the     
social party1 in the house1 and in the  
street1 the hand--the most exquisite1 or
 what should be the most beautiful and  
useful part of the human frame--is      
gloved4 ,and why8 ,because it is not fit
 to be seen4  ,now1 reader1 ,i am about 
to tell you of a positive cure4 ,in the 
first place1 never cut or scrape your   
finger-nails with a knife or scissors1  
except in paring them down to the end of
 the fingers4 ,secondly1 use nothing but
 a good stiff nail-brush1 fine soap1 and
 water1 and rub the nails and hands     
briskly with these every morning the    
year round4 ,in the third place1 ,i     
would have you know that surfeiting will
 invariably produce heavy1 burning      

hands4 ,an impure state of the blood    
will manifest itself in the hands sooner
 than in most other parts of the body4  
,if you have bad hands1 be assured that 
the quantity or quality1 or both1 of    
your diet is wrong4  ,if you try to     
profit by these suggestions1 you will1  
before one year expires1 be no longer   
ashamed of your hands4     ,,dress4     
,there are some rules1 which1 being     
based on first principles1 are of       
universal application4 ,and one of these
 belongs to our present subject1 viz3   
nothing can be truly beautiful which is 
not appropriate4 ,nature and the fine   
arts teach us this4 ,all styles of      
dress1 therefore1 which impede the      
motions of the wearer--which do not     
sufficiently protect the person--which  
add unnecessarily to the heat of summer1
 or to the cold of winter--which do not 
suit the age or occupations of the      
wearer1 or which indicate an expenditure
 unsuited to her means1 are             
inappropriate1 and1 therefore1 destitute

 of one of the essential elements of    
beauty4 ,propriety1 or fitness1 lies at 
the foundation of all good taste in     
dressing2 and to this test should be    
brought a variety of particulars1 too   
numerous to be mentioned1 but which may 
be thus illustrated3 ,the dress that    
would be very proper on occasion of a   
morning visit in a city1 would be so out
 of place1 if worn by the same person   
when making preserves or pastry1 or when
 scrambling through the bushes in a     
country walk1 that it would cease to    
look well4 ,a simple calico gown and    
white apron would be so much more       
convenient and suitable1 that the wearer
 would actually look better in them4    
,some persons1 also1 toil early and     
late1 and strain every nerve to procure 
an expensive garment1 and think that    
once arrayed in it1 they shall look as  
well as some richer neighbor1 whose     
style of dress they wish to imitate4    
,but they forget that1 if it does not   
accord with their general style of      

living--if it is out of harmony with    
other things1 it will so strike every   
body2 and this want of fitness will     
prevent its looking well on them4  ,let 
a true sense of propriety of the fitness
 of things regulate all your habits of  
living and dressing1 and it will produce
 such a beautiful harmony and           
consistency of character1 as to throw a 
charm around you that all may feel1     
though few may comprehend4 ,always      
consider well whether the articles of   
dress which you wish to purchase are    
suited to your age--your condition--your
 means--to the climate--to the          
particular use to which you mean to put 
them2 and then let the principles of    
good taste keep you from the extremes of
 fashion2 and regulate the form so as to
 combine utility and beauty1 while the  
known rules of harmony in colors save   
you from shocking the eye of the artist 
by incongruous mixtures4  ,the character
 is much more shown in the style of     
dress that is worn every day1 than in   

that which is designed for great        
occasions2 and when ,i see a young girl 
come down to the family breakfast in an 
untidy wrapper1 with her hair in papers1
 her feet slip-shod1 and an old silk    
handkerchief round her neck1 ,i know    
that she cannot be the neat1            
industrious1 and refined person whom ,i 
should like for an inmate4 ,i feel      
equally certain1 too1 that her chamber  
is not kept in neat order1 and that she 
does not set a proper value upon time4  
,however well a lady has appeared at a  
party1 ,i would recommend to a young    
gentleman--before he makes up his mind  
as to her domestic qualities--to observe
 her appearance at the breakfast-table1 
when she expects to see only her own    
family2 and1 if it be such as ,i have   
just described1 to beware how he        
prosecutes the acquaintance4            
,,compression ,,of ,,the ,,lungs4   ,few
 circumstances are more injurious to    
beauty than the constrained movement1   
suffused complexion1 and labored        

respiration that betray tight-lacing4   
,the play of intelligence1 and varied   
emotion1 which throw such a charm over  
the brow of youth1 are impeded by       
whatever obstructs the flow of blood    
from the heart to its many organs4 ,in  
,greece1 where the elements of beauty   
and grace were earliest comprehended1   
and most happily illustrated1 the fine  
symmetry of the form was left           
untortured4  ,but the influence of this 
habit on beauty is far less to be       
deprecated than its effects upon health4
 ,that pulmonary disease1 affections of 
the heart1 and insanity1 are in its     
train1 and that it leads some of our    
fairest and dearest to ,fashion's shrine
 to die1 is placed beyond a doubt by    
strong medical testimony4  ,dr4 ,mussey1
 whose ,lectures on ,intemperance have  
so forcibly arrested the attention of   
the public1 asserts that greater numbers
 annually die among the female sex1 in  
consequence of tight-lacing1 than are   
destroyed among the other sex by the use

 of spirituous liquors in the same time4
 ,is it possible that thousands of our  
own sex1 in our own native land1 lay1   
with their own hand1 the foundation of  
diseases that destroy life6--and are    
willing1 for fashion's sake1 to commit  
suicide6  ,dr4 ,todd1 the late          
,principal of the ,retreat for the      
,insane1 in ,connecticut1 to whom       
science and philanthropy are indebted1  
adduces many instances of the fearful   
effects of obstructed circulation on the
 brain4 ,being requested by the         
instructress of a large female seminary 
to enforce on her pupils the evils of   
compression in dress1 he said1 with that
 eloquence of eye and soul1 which none1 
who once felt their influence1 can ever 
forget3 ,the whole course of your       
studies1 my dear young ladies1 conspires
 to impress you with reverence for      
antiquity4 ,especially do you turn to   
,greece for the purest models in the    
fine arts1 and the loftiest precepts of 
philosophy4 ,while sitting1 as          

disciples1 at the feet of her men of    
august minds1 you may have sometimes    
doubted how to balance1 or where to     
bestow your admiration4 ,the acuteness  
of ,aristotle--the purity of ,plato--the
 calm1 unrepented satisfaction of       
,socrates--the varied lore of ,epicurus1
 and the lofty teachings of ,zeno1 have 
alternately attracted or absorbed your  
attention4 ,permit me to suppose1 that  
the high-toned ethics of the ,stoics1   
and their elevation of mind1 which could
 teach its frail companion1 the body1   
the proud lesson of insensibility to    
pain1 have won your peculiar            
complaisance4 ,yet1 while meting out to 
them the full measure of your applause1 
have you ever recollected that modern   
times--that your own country came in    
competition for a share of fame6 ,has it
 occurred to you that your own sex--even
 the most delicate and tender part of   
it--exceeded the ancient ,stoics in the 
voluntary infliction of pain1 and       
extinction of pity8 ,yes2 some of the   

timid and beautiful members of this     
seminary may enter the lists with ,zeno1
 ,cleanthus1 and ,chrysippus1 and       
cherish no slight hope of victory4 ,i   
trust to prove to you that the ancient  
and sublime ,stoics were very tyros in  
comparison with many a lady of our own  
times4 ,in degree of suffering1 extent  
of endurance1 and in perfection of      
concealment1 they must yield the palm4  
,i do assure you1 that1 its most        
illustrious masters--fruitful as they   
were in tests to try the body--never    
invented1 imagined1 nor would have been 
able to sustain that torture of         
tight-lacing which the modern belle     
steadily inflicts without shrinking1 and
 bears without repining sometimes to her
 very grave4 ,true1 they might sometimes
 have broken a bone1 or plucked out an  
eye1 and been silent2 but they never    
grappled iron and whalebone into the    
very nerves and life-blood of their     
system4 ,they might possibly have passed
 a dagger too deeply info the heart1 and

 died2 but they never drew a ligature of
 suffocation around it1 and expected to 
live6 ,they never tied up the mouths of 
the millions of air-vessels in the      
lungs1 and then taxed them to the full  
measure of action and respiration4 ,even
 ,pharaoh only demanded bricks without  
straw for a short time2 but the         
fashionable lady asks to live without   
breathing for many years6  ,the ancient 
,stoics taught that the nearest approach
 to apathy was the perfection of their  
doctrine4 ,they prudently rested in     
utter indifference2 they did not attempt
 to go beyond it2 they did not claim    
absolute denial of all suffering2 still 
less did they enjoin to persist and     
rejoice in it1 even to the 'dividing    
asunder of soul and body4' ,in this1    
too1 you will perceive the tight-laced  
lady taking a flight beyond the sublime 
philosopher4 ,she will not admit that   
she feels the slightest inconvenience4  
,though she has fairly won laurels to   
which no ,stoic dared aspire1 yet she   

studiously disclaims the distinction    
which she faced death to earn--yea1     
denies that she has either part of lot  
in the matter2 surpassing in modesty1 as
 well as in desert1 all that antiquity  
can boast or history record4  ,we quote 
the following from ,miss ,sedgwick3 ,one
 word as to these small waists3         
,symmetry is essential to beauty of     
form4 ,a waist disproportionately small 
is a deformity to an instructed eye4    
,women must have received their notions 
of small waists from ignorant           
dress-makers4 ,if young ladies could    
hear the remarks made on these small    
waists by men generally1 and especially 
men of taste1 they would never again    
show themselves till they had loosened  
their corset-laces and enlarged their   
belts4     ,,letter-,,writing4   ,it    
sometimes happens that1 in fashionable  
penmanship1 the circumstance that it is 
to be deciphered seems to have been     
forgotten4 ,to read so as not to be     
understood1 and to write so as not to be

 read1 are among the minor immoralities1
 says the excellent ,mrs4 ,hannah ,more4
 ,elegant chirography1 and a clear      
epistolary style1 are accomplishments   
which every educated female should      
possess4 ,their indispensable requisites
 are1 neatness1 the power of being      
easily perused1 orthographical and      
grammatical correctness4 ,defects in    
either of these particulars1 are        
scarcely pardonable4 ,the hand-writing  
is considered by many1 one of the       
talismans of character4 ,whether this   
test may be depended on or not1 the fact
 that letters travel farther than the   
sound of the voice1 or the sight of the 
countenance can follow1 renders it      
desirable that they should convey no    
incorrect or unfavorable impression4    
,the lesser niceties of folding1        
sealing1 and superscription1 are not    
beneath the notice of a lady4           
,letter-writing is a subject of so      
varied and extensive a nature1 that it  
can scarcely be reduced to rules or     

taught by precept2 but some instructions
 respecting it may afford assistance in 
avoiding error1 and obtaining a degree  
of excellence in this most important    
exercise4  ,when you write a letter to  
any person1 express the same sentiments 
and use the same language as you would  
do if you were conversing with him4     
,write eloquently1 says ,mr4 ,gray1 that
 is1 from your heart1 in such           
expressions as that will furnish4       
,before you begin a letter1 especially  
when it is on any occasion of           
importance1 weigh well in your own mind 
the design and purport of it2 and       
consider very attentively what          
sentiments are most proper for you to   
express1 and your correspondent to read4
  ,to assist invention and promote      
order1 it may1 as some writers on       
epistolary composition recommend1       
occasionally be of use to make1 in the  
mind1 a division of a letter into three 
parts1 the beginning1 middle1 and end2  
or1 in other words1 the exordium or     

introduction1 the narration or          
proposition1 and the conclusion4 ,the   
exordium1 or introduction1 should be    
employed1 not indeed with the formality 
of rhetoric1 but with the ease of       
genuine politeness and benevolence1 in  
conciliating favor and attention2 the   
narration or proposition1 in stating the
 business with clearness and precision2 
the conclusion1 in confirming what has  
been premised1 in making apologies where
 any are necessary1 and in cordial      
expressions of respect1 esteem1 or      
affection4  ,scrupulously adhere to the 
rules of grammar4 ,select and apply all 
your words with a strict regard to their
 proper signification1 and whenever you 
have any doubts respecting the          
correctness or propriety of them1       
consult a dictionary or some good living
 authority4 ,avoid1 with particular     
care1 all errors in orthography1 in     
punctuation1 and in the arrangement of  
words and phrases4  ,dashes1            
underlinings1 and interlineations1 are  

much used by unskillful and careless    
writers1 merely as substitutes for      
proper punctuation1 and a correct1      
regular mode of expression4 ,the        
frequent recurrence of them greatly     
defaces a letter1 and is equally        
inconsistent with neatness of appearance
 and regularity of composition4 ,all    
occasion for interlineations may usually
 be superseded by a little previous     
thought and attention4 ,dashes are      
proper only when the sense evidently    
requires a greater pause than the common
 stops designate4 ,and in a             
well-constructed sentence1 to underline 
a word is wholly useless1 except on some
 very particular occasion we wish to    
attract peculiar attention to it1 or to 
give it an uncommon degree of importance
 or emphasis4  ,postscripts have a very 
awkward appearance1 and they generally  
indicate thoughtlessness and            
inattention4 ,to make use of them in    
order to convey assurances of respect to
 the person to whom you write1 or to    

those who are intimately connected with 
him1 is particularly improper2 it seems 
to imply that the sentiments you express
 are so slightly impressed upon your    
mind1 that you had almost forgotten them
 or thought them scarcely worth         
mentioning4     ,,music4   ,this        
accomplishment1 so popular at the       
present time1 is a source of surpassing 
delight to many minds4 ,from its power  
to soothe the feelings and modify the   
passions1 it seems desirable to         
understand it1 if it does not involve   
too great expense of time4 ,vocal music 
is an accomplishment within the reach of
 most persons4 ,i have a piano within   
myself1 said a little girl1 and ,i can  
play on that1 if ,i have no other4  ,an 
excellent clergyman1 possessing much    
knowledge of human nature1 instructed   
his large family of daughters in the    
theory and practice of music4 ,they were
 all observed to be exceedingly amiable 
and happy4 ,a friend inquired if there  
was any secret in his mode of education4

 ,he replied1 ,when any thing disturbs  
their temper1 ,i say to them sing2 and1 
if ,i hear them speaking against any    
person1 ,i call them to sing to me1 and 
so they have sung away all causes of    
discontent1 and every disposition to    
scandal4 ,such a use of this            
accomplishment might serve to fit a     
family for the company of angels and the
 clime of praise4 ,young voices around  
the domestic altar1 breathing sacred    
music at the hour of morning and evening
 devotions1 are a sweet and touching    
accompaniment4  ,instrumental music1    
being more expensive in its attainment1 
both of money and time1 and its         
indifferent performance giving pain to  
those of refined sensibility1 seems     
scarcely desirable to be cultivated1    
unless the impulse of native taste      
prompts or justifies the labor4 ,the    
spirited pen of ,miss ,martineau1 in her
 ,five ,first ,years of ,youth1 has     
sketched a pleasing description of a    
young lady1 possessing a strong         

predilection for music4 ,she sang much  
and often1 not that she had any         
particular aim at being very            
accomplished1 but because she loved it1 
or1 as she said1 because she could not  
help it4 ,she sang to ,nurse ,rickham's 
children2 she sang as she went up and   
down stairs2 she sang when she was glad1
 and when she was sorry2 when her father
 was at home1 because he liked it2 and  
when he was out1 because he could not be
 disturbed by it4 ,in the woods1 at     
noonday1 she sang like a bird1 that a   
bird might answer her2 and1 if she awoke
 in the dark night1 the feeling of      
solemn music came over her1 with which  
she dared not break the silence4  ,where
 such a taste exists1 there is no doubt 
that opportunities for its improvement  
should be gladly accepted4 ,where there 
is no taste1 it seems cause of regret1  
when time1 perhaps health1 are          
sacrificed to the accomplishment4 ,even 
where a tolerable performance of        
instrumental music might probably be    

attained1 without the prompting of      
decided taste1 there may be danger of   
absorbing too much of time and attention
 from those employments which a female  
ought to understand and will be expected
 to discharge1 and which are in reality 
of far greater importance4              
,,flowers4       ,who does not love a   
flower     ,its hues are taken from the 
light     ,which summer's suns fling1   
pure and bright1     ,in scatter'd and  
prismatic hues1     ,that smile and     
shine in drooping dews2     ,its        
fragrance from the sweetest air--       
,its form from all that's light and     
fair--     ,who does not love a flower8 
,in the two great floral kingdoms of    
nature1 the botanical and the human1 if 
we must yield the palm to that which is 
alike transcendent in the beauty of form
 and motion1 and in the higher          
attributes of intelligence1 innocence1  
and rural perfection1 yet it can be no  
derogation to admire1 with a rapture    
bordering upon enthusiasm1 the splendid 

products of the garden2 and especially  
when their beauties are combined and    
arranged with an exquisite and refined  
taste4 ,what is the heart made of which 
can find no sentiment in flowers6 ,in   
the dahlia1 for example1 we see what can
 be done by human skill and art1 in     
educating and training a simple and     
despised plant1 scarcely thought worthy 
of cultivation1 to the highest rank of  
gayety and glory in the aristocracy of  
flowers4 ,we may learn1 from such       
success1 a lesson of encouragement1 in  
the education and training of flowers1  
of an infinitely higher value and       
perfection4  ,the vast creation of      
,god--the centre and source of good--is 
every where radiant with beauty4 ,from  
the shell that lies buried in the depths
 of the ocean1 to the twinkling star    
that floats in the more profound depths 
of the firmament--through all the forms 
of material and animated existence1     
beauty1 beauty1 beauty prevails6 ,in the
 floral kingdom1 it appears in an       

infinite variety--in an unstinted and   
even a richer profusion than in other   
departments of nature4 ,while these     
contributions are thrown out so lavishly
 at our feet1 and a taste for flowers   
seems almost an instinct of nature1 and 
is one of the most innocent and refined 
sentiments which we can cultivate1 let  
us indulge and gratify it to the utmost 
extent1 whenever leisure1 opportunity1  
and fortune give us the means4 ,there is
 no danger of an excess1 under those    
reasonable restrictions which all our   
sentiments demand4  ,but1 says some     
cynical objector1 flowers are only to   
please the eye4 ,and why should not the 
eye be pleased8 ,what sense may be more 
innocently gratified8 ,they are among   
the most simple and cheapest luxuries in
 which we ever indulge4  ,the taste for 
flowers--every where increasing among   
us--is an omen of good4 ,let us adorn   
our parlors1 door-ways1 yards1 and      
road-sides with trees1 and shrubs1 and  
flowers4 ,what a delight do they give to

 the passer-by6 ,what favorable         
impressions do they1 at once1 excite    
towards those who cultivate them for    
their own gratification1 and find1 after
 all1 their chief pleasure in the       
gratification which they afford to      
others6 ,what an affecting              
charm--associated as it is with some of 
the best sentiments of our nature--do   
they give to the sad dwelling-places of 
the departed and beloved6     ,,time4   
,i saw the leaves gliding down a brook2 
,swift the brook ran1 and bright the sun
 burned3       ,the sere and the        
verdant1 the same course they took--    
,and sped gayly and fast--but they never
 returned4     ,and ,i thought how the  
years of a man pass away--              
,threescore and ten--and then where are 
they8   ,threescore years and ten1      
thought ,i to myself1 as ,i walked1 one 
rainy morning1 as a sailor walks the    
quarter-deck1 up and down a short       
alcove1 extending before the windows of 
a modern house4 ,it was one of those    

days in ,june1 in which our summer-hopes
 take umbrage at what we call           
unseasonable weather1 though no season  
was ever known to pass without them4    
,unlike the rapid and delightful showers
 of warmer days1 suddenly succeeding to 
the sunshine1 when the parched          
vegetables and arid earth seize with    
avidity1 and imbibe the moisture ere it 
becomes unpleasant to our feelings1     
there had fallen a drizzling rain       
throughout the night2 the saturated soil
 returned to the atmosphere the humidity
 it could no longer absorb2 and there it
 hung1 in chilling thickness1 between   
rain and fog4 ,the birds did not sing1  
and the flowers did not open1 for the   
cold drop was on their cheek1 and no    
sunbeam was there to expand them4       
,nature itself wore the garb of sadness1
 and man's too dependent spirits were   
ready to assume it--those1 at least1    
that were not so happy as to find means 
of forgetting it4 ,such was the case    
with my unfortunate self4  ,i had       

descended to the breakfast-room1 at the 
usual hour1 but no one appeared2 ,i     
looked for a book1 but found none but an
 almanac4 ,the books were kept in the   
library--beyond all dispute their proper
 place1 had ,i not been in a humor to   
think otherwise4 ,the house was too hot1
 and the external air was too cold2 and 
,i was fain to betake myself to that    
last resort of the absolutely idle--a   
mechanical movement of the body up and  
down a given space4 ,and1 from the      
alcove where ,i walked1 ,i heard the    
ticking of the timepiece2 and1 as ,i    
passed the window1 ,i saw the hands     
advance2 every time ,i had returned1    
they had gone a little farther4         
,threescore years and ten1 said ,i to   
myself2 and a third or fourth of it is  
nature's claim for indispensable        
repose--and many a day consumed on the  
bed of sickness--and many a year by the 
infirmities of age--and some part of all
 necessarily sacrificed to the          
recruiting of the health by exercise4   

,and what do we with the rest8 ,nothing 
answered me but the ticking of the      
clock1 of which the hands were          
traversing between eight and nine4 ,they
 had nearly met1 at the appointed hour1 
when the party began to assemble within2
 and each one commenced1 for aught ,i   
could discover1 the functions of the    
day1 for neither their appearance nor   
their remarks gave any intimation that  
they had been previously employed4 ,one1
 indeed1 declared the weather made her  
so idle she had scarcely found strength 
to dress herself2 another confessed he  
had passed an additional hour in bed1   
because the day promised him so little  
to do up4 ,one by one1 as they dropped  
in1 the seats at the breakfast-table    
were filled2 and1 as a single newspaper 
was all the apparent means of mental    
occupation1 ,i anticipated some         
interesting conversation4  ,i waited and
 ,i watched4 ,one ran the point of his  
fork into the table-cloth2 another      
balanced her spoon on the tea-cup2 a    

third told backwards and forwards the   
rings on her fingers1 as duly as a friar
 tells his beads4 ,as such actions      
sometimes are the symptoms of mental    
occupation1 ,i began to anticipate the  
brilliant results of so much thinking4  
,i cried1 hem6 in hopes to rouse them to
 expression--and not quite              
unsuccessfully3 for one remarked1 it was
 a wretched day2 another wished it was  
fine2 and a third hoped it shortly would
 be so4 ,meantime1 the index of the     
clock went round2 it was gaining close  
upon ten before all had withdrawn from  
the table4 ,my eye followed one to the  
window-place2 where1 with her back to   
the wall1 and her eyes fixed without1   
she passed a full half hour in gazing at
 the prospect without1 or wishing1      
perhaps1 the mist did not prevent her   
seeing it4 ,a very young lady was so    
busy in pulling the dead leaves from a  
geranium1 and crumbling them in her     
fingers1 ,i could not doubt but some    
important purpose was in the task4 ,a   

third resumed the newspaper he had read 
for a whole hour before1 and betook     
himself1 at last1 to the advertisements4
 ,a fourth repaired to the alcove1      
gathered some flowers1 picked them to   
pieces1 threw them away again1 and      
returned4 ,cease thy prating1 thou      
never-resting time-piece6 said ,i to    
myself1 for no one heeds thy tale4 ,what
 is it to us that each one of thy       
tickings cuts a link from our brief     
chain of life8 ,time is the gift of     
,heaven1 but man has no use for it6  ,i 
had scarcely thought out the melancholy 
reflection1 when a young lady entered   
with an elegant work-box1 red without   
and blue within1 and filled with        
manifold conveniences for the pursuance 
of her art4 ,glad was ,i most truly at  
the sight4 ,by the use of the needle1   
the naked may be clothed2 ingenuity may 
economize her means1 and have more to   
spare for those who need it2 invention  
may multiply the ways of honest         
subsistence1 and direct the ignorant to 

the use of them4 ,most glad was ,i1     
therefore1 that the signal of industry  
drew more than one wanderer to the same 
pursuit1 though not till much time had  
been consumed in going in and out1 and  
up and down1 in search of the materials4
 ,all were found at last2 the party     
worked1 and ,i1 as usual1 listened4 ,i  
think this trimming1 said one1 will     
repay me for my trouble1 though it has  
cost me three months' work already1 and 
it will be three months more before it  
is finished4 ,indeed6 rejoined her      
friend2 ,i wish ,i were half as         
industrious2 but ,i have been working   
six weeks at this handkerchief1 and have
 not had time to finish it3 now the     
fashion is passed1 and ,i shall not go  
on4 ,how beautifully you are weaving    
that necklace6 ,is it not very tedious8 
,yes1 almost endless2 but ,i delight in 
the work1 otherwise ,i should not do it1
 for the beads cost almost as much as ,i
 could buy it for4 ,i should like to    
begin one this morning1 interposed a    

fourth1 but the milliner has sent home  
my bonnet so ill-trimmed1 it will take  
me all the day to alter it3 the bow is  
on the wrong side1 and the trimming on  
the edge is too broad4 ,it is very      
tiresome to spend all one's life in     
altering things we pay so much for4 ,i  
wish1 said a little girl at the end of  
the table1 that ,i might work some      
trimmings for my frock1 but ,i am       
obliged to do this plain work first4    
,the poor lame girl in the village1 who 
is almost starving1 would do it for me  
for a shilling1 but ,i must save my     
allowance this week to buy a ,french    
trinket ,i have taken a fancy to4 ,poor 
thing6 she is much to be pitied1 said   
the lady of the trimming2 if ,i had     
time1 ,i would make her some clothes4   
,and so they worked1 and so they talked1
 till ,i and the time-piece had counted 
many an hour which they took no account 
of1 when one of them yawned1 and said1  
,how tedious are these wet days2 it is  
really impossible to spin out one's time

 without a walk4 ,i am surprised you    
find it so1 rejoined the lady of the    
beads2 ,i can rarely take time for      
walking1 though keeping the house makes 
me miserably languid4  ,and so the      
morning passed4 ,it was nearly two      
o'clock1 and the company dispersed to   
their apartments4 ,i pretend not to know
 what they did there2 but each one      
returned between three and four in an   
altered dress4 ,and then half an hour   
elapsed1 in which1 as ,i understood from
 their impatience1 they were waiting for
 dinner2 each in turn complaining of the
 waste of time occasioned by its delay1 
and the little use it would be to go    
about any thing when it was so near4    
,and as soon as dinner was over1 they   
began to wait for tea with exactly the  
same complainings4 ,and the tea came1   
and1 cheered by the vivifying draught1  
one did repair to the instrument1 and   
began a tune2 one did take up a pencil1 
and prepare to draw2 and one almost     
opened a book4 ,but1 alas6 the shades of

 night were growing fast3--ten minutes  
had scarcely elapsed1 before each one   
resigned her occupation1 with a murmur  
at the darkness of the weather2 and1    
though some persons suggested that there
 were such things as lamps and candles1 
it was agreed to be a pity to have      
lights so early in the midst of summer1 
and so another half hour escaped4  ,the 
lights1 when they came1 would have      
failed to relumine an expectation in my 
bosom1 had not their beams disclosed the
 forms of various books1 which one and  
another had brought in for the evening's
 amusement4 ,again ,i watched and again 
,i listened4 ,i wish ,i had something to
 do1 mamma1 said the little girl4 ,why  
do you not take a book1 and read8       
rejoined her mother4 ,my books are all  
up stairs1 she replied2 and it is so    
near bedtime1 it is not worth while to  
bring them down4 ,this is the best novel
 ,i ever read1 said a lady1 somewhat    
older1 turning the leaves over so very  
fast1 that those who are not used to    

this manner of reading1 might suppose   
she found nothing in it worthy of       
attention4 ,i dare say it is1 said      
another1 whose eyes had been fixed for  
half an hour on the same page of        
,wordsworth's ,poems2 but ,i have no    
time to read novels4 ,i wish ,i had time
 to read any thing1 said a third1 whom  
,i had observed already to have been    
perusing attentively the title-page of  
every book on the table1 publisher's    
name1 date1 and all2 while a fourth was 
too intensely engaged in studying the   
blue cover of a magazine1 to make any   
remark whatever4  ,and now ,i was much  
amused to perceive with what frequency  
eyes were turned upon the dial-plate1   
through all the day so little regarded4 
,watches were drawn out1 compared1 and  
pronounced too slow4 ,with some         
difficulty1 one was found that had      
outrun its fellows1 and1 determined to  
be right1 gave permission to the company
 to disperse1 little more than twelve   
hours from the time of their assembling1

 to recover1 as ,i supposed1 during the 
other twelve1 dressing and undressing   
included1 the effect of their mental and
 bodily exertions4  ,so6 ,i exclaimed1  
as soon as ,i found myself alone1 twelve
 times round yonder dial-plate those    
little hands have stolen1 and twelve    
times more they may now go round        
unheeded4 ,they who are gone to rest1   
have a day less to live1 and record has 
been made in heaven of that day's use4  
,will ,he who gave1 ask no reckoning for
 his gifts8 ,the time1 the thoughts1 the
 talents2 the improvement we might have 
made1 and made not2 the good we might   
have done1 and did not2 the health1 and 
strength1 and intellect1 that may not be
 our's to-morrow1 and have not been used
 to-day2 will not conscience whisper of 
it ere they sleep to-night8 ,the days of
 man were shortened upon earth by reason
 of the wickedness the ,creator saw4    
,threescore years and ten are now his   
portion1 and often not half the number4 
,they pause not2 they loiter not3 the   

hours strike on1 and they may even go1  
for it seems they are all too much4     
,the young1 with minds as yet unstored1 
full of error1 full of ignorance in all 
that it behooves them most to know1     
unfit alike as yet for earth or         
heaven--the old1 whose sum of life is   
almost told1 and but a brief space      
remaining to repair their mistakes and  
redeem the time they have lost--the     
simple and ungifted1 who1 having from   
nature but little1 need the more        
assiduity to fulfill their measure of   
usefulness1 and make that little do the 
most it may--the clever and highly      
talented1 who have an almost appalling  
account to render for the much          
received--they all have time to waste4  
,but let them remember1 time is not     
their own2 not a moment of it2 but is   
the grant of ,heaven2 and ,heaven gives 
nothing without a purpose and an end4   
,every hour that is wasted1 fails of    
that purpose2 and in so far as it is    
wasted or ill-spent1 the gift of ,heaven

 is misused1 and the misuse is to be    
answered for4 ,methinks ,i would be     
allowed to whisper nightly in the ears  
of my young friends as they lie down to 
rest1 ,how many minutes have you lost   
to-day1 that might have been employed in
 your own improvement1 in our ,maker's  
service1 or for your fellow-creature's  
good8     ,,novel-,,reading4            
,novel-reading produces a morbid        
appetite for excitement4 ,the object of 
the novelist1 generally1 is to produce  
the highest possible degree of          
excitement1 both of the mind and the    
passions4 ,the object is very similar to
 that of intoxicating liquors on the    
body3 hence1 the confirmed novel-reader 
becomes a kind of literary inebriate1 to
 whom the things of entity have no      
attractions1 and whose thirst cannot be 
slaked1 even with the water of life4    
,and as intoxication enfeebles the body1
 and engenders indolent habits1 so this 
unnatural stimulus enfeebles the        
intellectual powers1 induces mental     

indolence1 and unfits the mind for      
vigorous efforts4 ,nothing less         
stimulating than its accustomed aliment 
can rouse such a mind to action1 or call
 forth its energies2 and then1 being    
under the influence of mental           
intoxication1 which dethrones reason and
 destroys the power of self-control1    
they are always misdirected4  ,it also  
promotes a sickly sensibility4 ,dr4     
,brigham1 speaking of the too powerful  
excitement of the female mind1 says3 ,in
 them the nervous system naturally      
predominates4 ,they are endowed with    
quicker sensibility and far more active 
imagination than men4 ,their emotions   
are more intense1 and their senses alive
 to more delicate impressions4 ,they    
therefore require great attention1 lest 
this exquisite sensibility--which1 when 
properly and naturally developed1       
constitutes the greatest excellence of  
woman--should either become excessive by
 too strong excitement1 or suppressed by
 misdirected education4 ,novel-reading  

produces just the kind of excitement    
calculated to develop this excessive and
 diseased sensibility2 and the effect   
is1 to fill the mind with imaginary     
fears1 and produce excessive alarm and  
agitation at the prospect of danger1 the
 sight of distress1 or the presence of  
unpleasant objects2 while no place is   
found for the exercise of genuine       
sympathy for real objects of compassion4
 ,that sensibility which weeps over     
imaginary woes of imaginary beings1     
calls forth but imaginary sympathy4 ,it 
is too refined to be excited by the     
vulgar objects of compassion presented  
in real life1 or too excitable to be of 
any avail in the relief of real         
distress4 ,it may faint at the sight of 
blood1 but it will shrink back from     
binding up the wound4 ,if you wish to   
become weak-headed1 nervous1 and good   
for nothing1 read novels4 ,i have seen  
an account of a young lady1 who had     
become so nervous and excitable1 in     
consequence of reading novels1 that her 

head would be turned by the least       
appearance of danger1 real or imaginary4
 ,as she was riding in a carriage over a
 bridge1 in company with her mother and 
sister1 she became frightened at some   
fancied danger1 caught hold of the      
reins1 and backed the carriage off the  
bridge1 down a precipice1 dashing them  
to pieces4  ,this excessive sensibility 
renders its possessor exquisitely alive 
to all those influences which are       
unfriendly to human happiness1 while it 
diminishes the power of endurance4      
,extreme sensibility1 especially in a   
female1 is a great misfortune1 rendering
 the ills of life insupportable4 ,great 
care should therefore be taken that1    
while genuine sensibility is cherished1 
its extremes should be avoided1 and the 
mind fortified by strengthening the     
higher powers4  ,novel-reading          
strengthens the passions1 weakens the   
virtues1 and diminishes the power of    
self-control4 ,multitudes may date their
 ruin from the commencement of this kind

 of reading2 and many more1 who have    
been rescued from the snare1 will       
regret1 to the end of their days1 its   
influence in the early formation of     
their character4  ,it is1 too1 a great  
waste of time4 ,few will pretend that   
they read novels with any higher end in 
view than mere amusement2 while1 by the 
strong excitement they produce1 they    
impose a heavier tax on both mind and   
body than any other species of mental   
effort4 ,if any thing valuable is to be 
derived from them1 it can be obtained   
with far less expense of time1 and with 
safety to the morals1 from other        
sources4 ,no ,christian1 who feels the  
obligation of redeeming the time1       
because the days are evil1 will fail to 
feel the force of this remark4 ,we have 
no more right to squander our time and  
waste our energies in frivolous         
pursuits1 than we have to waste our     
money in extravagant expenditures4 ,we  
are as much the stewards of ,god in     
respect to the one as the other4        

,,female ,,romance4   ,most women are   
inclined to be romantic4 ,this tendency 
is not confined to the young or to the  
beautiful1 to the intellectual or to the
 refined4 ,every woman1 capable of      
strong feeling1 is susceptible of       
romance2 and1 though its degree may     
depend on external circumstances1 or    
education1 or station1 or excitement1 it
 generally exists1 and requires only a  
stimulus for its development4  ,romance 
indeed contributes much to the charm of 
the female character4 ,without some     
degree of it1 no woman can be           
interesting2 and1 though its excess is a
 weakness1 and one which receives but   
little indulgence1 there is nothing     
truly generous and disinterested which  
does not imply its existence4 ,it is    
that poetry of sentiment which imparts  
to character or incident something of   
the beautiful or the sublime2 which     
elevates us to a higher sphere2 which   
gives an ardor to affection1 a life to  
thought1 a glow to imagination2 and     

which lends so warm and sunny a hue to  
the portraiture of life1 that it ceases 
to appear the vulgar1 and cold1 and     
dull1 and monotonous reality1 which     
common sense alone would make it4  ,but 
it is this opposition1 between romance  
and sobriety1 that excites so strong a  
prejudice against the former3 it is     
associated1 in the minds of many1 with  
folly alone4 ,a romantic1 silly girl1 is
 the object of their contempt2 and they 
so recoil from this personification of  
sentiment1 that their chief object seems
 to be to divest themselves altogether  
of its delusion4 ,life is to them a mere
 calculation2 expediency is their maxim2
 propriety their rule2 profit1 ease1 or 
comfort their aim2 and they have at     
least this advantage1 that while minds  
of higher tone and hearts of superior   
sensibility are often harassed and      
wounded1 and even withered1 in their    
passage through life1 they proceed in   
their less adventurous career1 neither  
chilled by the coldness1 nor sickened by

 the meanness1 nor disappointed by the  
selfishness of the world4 ,they         
virtually admit1 though they often      
theoretically deny1 the baseness of     
human nature2 and1 strangers to         
disinterestedness themselves1 they do   
not expect to meet with it in others4   
,they are content with a low degree of  
enjoyment1 and are thus exempted from   
much poignant suffering2 and it is only 
when the casualties of life interfere   
with their individual ease1 that we can 
perceive that they are not altogether   
insensible4  ,a good deal of this       
phlegmatic disposition exists in many   
who are capable of higher feeling4 ,such
 persons are so afraid of sensibility1  
that they repress in themselves every   
thing that savors of it2 and1 though we 
may occasionally detect it in the       
mounting flush1 or in the glistening    
tear1 or in the half-stifled sigh1 it is
 in vain that we endeavor to elicit any 
more explicit avowal4 ,they are ashamed 
even of what they do betray2 and one    

would imagine that the imputation of    
sensibility were almost a reflection on 
their character4 ,they must not feel1   
or1 at least1 they must not allow that  
they feel2 for feeling has led so many  
persons wrong1 that decorum can be      
preserved1 they think1 only by          
indifference4 ,and they end in being    
really as callous as they wish to       
appear1 and stifle emotion so           
successfully1 that at length it ceases  
to give them uneasiness4  ,such is often
 the case with many who pass through    
life with great decorum2 and though     
women have naturally more sensibility   
than the other sex1 they1 too1 sometimes
 consider its indulgence altogether     
wrong4 ,yet1 if its excess is foolish1  
it is surely a mistake to attempt to    
suppress it altogether2 for such attempt
 will either produce a dangerous        
revulsion1 or1 if successful1 will spoil
 the character4 ,one would rather almost
 that a woman were ever so romantic1    
than that she always thought1 and felt1 

and spoke by rule2 and should deem it   
preferable that her sensibility brought 
upon her occasional distress1 than that 
she always calculated the degree of her 
feeling4  ,life has its romance1 and to 
this it owes much of its charm4 ,it is  
not that every woman is a heroine and   
every individual history a novel2 but   
there are scenes and incidents in real  
life so peculiar1 and so poetic1 that we
 need not be indebted to fiction for the
 development of romance4 ,christians    
will trace such scenes and incidents    
immediately to ,providence1 and they do 
so with affectionate and confiding      
hearts2 and the more affecting or       
remarkable these may be1 the more       
clearly do they recognize the ,divine   
interference4 ,they regard them as      
remembrances of ,heaven1 to recall to   
them their connection with it1 and      
remind them that whatever there may be  
to interest or excite their feelings    
here1 there is infinitely more to affect
 and warm their hearts in the glorious  

prospects beyond4  ,it is natural that  
women should be very susceptible to such
 impressions2 that they should view life
 with almost a poetic eye2 and that they
 should be peculiarly sensitive to its  
vicissitudes4 ,and though a ,quixotic   
quest after adventures is as silly as it
 is vain1 and to invest every trifle    
with importance1 or to see something    
marvelous in every incident1 is equally 
absurd2 there is no reason why the      
imagination should not grasp whatever is
 picturesque1 and the mind dwell upon   
whatever is impressive1 and the heart   
warm with whatever is affecting1 in the 
changes and the chances of our          
pilgrimage4 ,there is indeed a great    
deal of what is mean and low in all that
 is connected with this world2 quite    
enough to sully the most glowing        
picture2 but let us sometimes view life 
with its golden tints2 let us sometimes 
taste its ambrosial dews2 let us        
sometimes breathe its more ethereal     
atmosphere2 and let us do so1 not as    

satisfied with any thing it can         
afford--not as entranced by any of its  
illusions--but as those who catch1 even 
in this dull mirror1 a shadowy          
delineation of a brighter world1 and who
 pant for what is pure1 celestial1 and  
eternal4 ,this is surely better than    
clipping the wings of imagination1 or   
restraining the impulses of feeling1 or 
reducing all our joys and sorrows to    
mere matters of calculation or of sense4
  ,they are indeed to be pitied who are 
in the opposite extreme--whose happiness
 or misery is entirely ideal2 but we    
have within us such a capacity for both1
 independent of all outward             
circumstances1 and such a power of      
extracting either from every            
circumstance1 that it is surely more    
wise to discipline such a faculty1 than 
to disallow its influence4  ,youth is of
 course the season for romance4 ,its    
buoyant spirit must soar till weighed   
down by earthly care4 ,it is in youth   
that the feelings are warm and the fancy

 fresh1 and that there has been no      
blight to chill the one or to wither the
 other4 ,and it is in youth that hope   
lends its cheering ray1 and love its    
genial influence2 that our friends smile
 upon us1 our companions do not cross   
us1 and our parents are still at hand to
 cherish us in their bosoms1 and        
sympathize in all our young and ardent  
feelings4 ,it is then that the world    
seems so fair1 and our fellow-beings so 
kind1 that we charge with spleen any who
 would prepare us for disappointment1   
and accuse those of misanthropy who     
would warn our too-confiding hearts4    
,and though1 in maturer life1 we may    
smile at the romance of youth1 and      
lament1 perhaps1 its aberrations1 yet we
 shall not regret the depth of our young
 emotions1 the disinterestedness of our 
young affections1 and that enthusiasm of
 purpose1 which1 alas6 we soon grow too 
wise to cherish4     ,,behavior ,,to    
,,gentlemen4   ,what a pity it is that  
the thousandth chance of a gentleman's  

becoming your lover should deprive you  
of the pleasure of a free1              
unembarrassed1 intellectual intercourse 
with all the single men of your         
acquaintance6 ,yet1 such is too commonly
 the case with young ladies who have    
read a great many novels and romances1  
and whose heads are always running on   
love and lovers4  ,where1 as in this    
country1 there is a fair chance of every
 woman's being married who wishes it1   
the more things are left to their       
natural course the better4 ,where girls 
are brought up to be good daughters and 
sisters1 to consider the development of 
their own intellectual and moral natures
 as the great business of life1 and to  
view matrimony as a good1 only when it  
comes unsought1 and marked by such a    
fitness of things1 inward and outward1  
as shows it to be one of the            
appointments of ,god1 they will fully   
enjoy their years of single life1 free  
from all anxiety about being            
established1 and will generally be the  

first sought in marriage by the wise and
 good of the other sex2 whereas those   
who are brought up to think the great   
business of life is to get married1 and 
who spend their lives in plans and      
manoeuvres to bring it about1 are the   
very ones who remain single1 or1 what is
 worse1 make unhappy matches4  ,very    
young girls are apt to suppose1 from    
what they observe in older ones1 that   
there is some peculiar manner to be put 
on in talking to gentlemen1 and not     
knowing exactly what it is1 they are    
embarrassed and reserved2 others observe
 certain airs and looks1 used by their  
elders in this intercourse1 and try to  
imitate them as a necessary part of     
company behavior1 and so become         
affected1 and lose that first of        
charms--simplicity1 naturalness4 ,to    
such ,i would say1 your companions are  
in error2 it requires no peculiar       
manner1 nothing to be put on1 in order  
to converse with gentlemen any more than
 with ladies2 and the more pure and     

elevated your sentiments are1 and the   
better cultivated your intellect is1 the
 easier will you find it to converse    
pleasantly with all4 ,if1 however1 you  
happen to have no facility in expressing
 yourself1 and you find it very         
difficult to converse with persons whom 
you do not know well1 you can still be  
an intelligent and agreeable listener1  
and you can show by your ready smile of 
sympathy that you would be sociable if  
you could4 ,there is no reason in the   
world why any one1 who is not unhappy1  
should sit in the midst of gay          
companions with a face so solemn and    
unmoved1 that she should seem not to    
belong to the company2 that she should  
look so glum and forbidding that        
strangers should feel repulsed1 and her 
best friends disappointed4 ,if you      
cannot look entertained and pleasant1   
you had better stay away1 for politeness
 requires some expression of sympathy in
 the countenance1 as much as a civil    
answer on the tongue4  ,never condescend

 to use any little arts or manoeuvres to
 secure a pleasant beau at a party1 or  
during an excursion2 remember that a    
woman must always wait to be chosen1 and
 not unsought be won1 even for an hour4 
,when you are so fortunate as to be     
attended by the most agreeable gentleman
 present1 do not make any effort to keep
 him entirely to yourself2 that flatters
 him too much1 and exposes you to be    
joked about4  ,how strange a thing it   
is1 in the constitution of ,english and 
,american society1 that the subject1 of 
all others the most important and the   
most delicate1 should be that on which  
every body is most given to joke and    
banter their friends6 ,much mischief has
 been done by this coarse interference  
of the world1 in what ought to be the   
most private and sacred of our earthly  
concerns2 and every refined1 delicate1  
and high-minded girl should set her face
 against it1 and1 by scrupulously       
refraining from such jokes herself1 give
 no one a right to indulge in them at   

her expense4  ,as soon as young ladies  
go into general society1 they are liable
 to receive attentions that indicate a  
particular regard1 and1 long before they
 are really old enough to form any such 
ties1 they often receive matrimonial    
overtures2 it is therefore highly       
necessary to know how to treat them4    
,the offer of a man's heart and hand is 
the greatest compliment he can pay you1 
and1 however undesirable to you those   
gifts may be1 they should be courteously
 and kindly declined2 and since a       
refusal is1 to most men1 not only a     
disappointment1 but a mortification1 it 
should always be prevented1 if possible4
 ,men have various ways of cherishing   
and declaring their attachment2 those   
who indicate the bias of their feelings 
in many intelligible ways1 before they  
make a direct offer1 can generally be   
spared the pain of a refusal4 ,if you do
 not mean to accept a gentleman who is  
paying you very marked attentions1 you  
should avoid receiving him whenever you 

can2 you should not allow him to escort 
you2 you should show your displeasure   
when joked about him2 and1 if sounded by
 a mutual friend1 let your want of      
reciprocal feelings be very apparent4   
,you may1 however1 be taken entirely by 
surprise1 because there are men who are 
so secret in these matters that they do 
not let even the object of their        
affections suspect their preference1    
until they suddenly declare themselves  
lovers and suitors4 ,in such a case as  
that1 you will need all your presence of
 mind1 or the hesitation produced by    
surprise may give rise to false hopes4  
,if you have any doubt upon the matter1 
you may fairly ask time to consider of  
it1 on the grounds of your never having 
thought of the gentleman in the light of
 a lover before2 but1 if you are        
resolved against the suit1 endeavor to  
make your answer so decided as to finish
 the affair at once4 ,inexperienced     
girls sometimes feel so much the pain   
they are inflicting1 that they use      

phrases which feed a lover's hopes2 but 
this is mistaken tenderness2 your answer
 should be as decided as it is          
courteous4  ,whenever an offer is made  
in writing1 you should reply to it as   
soon as possible2 and1 having in this   
case none of the embarrassment of a     
personal interview1 you can make such a 
careful selection of words as will best 
convey your meaning4 ,if the person is  
estimable1 you should express your sense
 of his merit1 and your gratitude for   
his preference1 in strong terms2 and put
 your refusal of his hand on the score  
of your not feeling for him that        
peculiar preference necessary to the    
union he seeks4 ,this makes a refusal as
 little painful as possible1 and soothes
 the feelings you are obliged to wound4 
,the gentleman's letter should be       
returned in your reply1 and your lips   
should be closed upon the subject for   
ever afterwards4 ,it is his secret1 and 
you have no right to tell it to any one2
 but1 if your parents are your          

confidential friends on all other       
occasions1 he will not blame you for    
telling them4  ,never think the less of 
a man because he has been refused1 even 
if it be by a lady whom you do not      
highly value4 ,it is nothing to his     
disadvantage4 ,in exercising their      
prerogative of making the first         
advances1 the wisest will occasionally  
make great mistakes1 and the best will  
often be drawn into an affair of this   
sort against their better judgment1 and 
both are but too happy if they escape   
with only the pain of being refused4 ,so
 far from its being any reason for not  
accepting a wise and good man when he   
offers himself to you1 it should only   
increase your thankfulness to the       
overruling providence of ,god1 which    
reserved him for you1 through whose     
instrumentality he is still free to     
choose4  ,there is no sure remedy for   
disappointed affection but vital        
religion2 that giving of the heart to   
,god which enables a disciple to say1   

,whom have ,i in heaven but ,thee1 and  
there is none on earth that ,i desire in
 comparison of ,thee4 ,the cure for a   
wounded heart1 which piety affords1 is  
so complete1 that it makes it possible  
for the tenderest and most constant     
natures to love again4 ,when a character
 is thus disciplined and matured1 its   
sympathies will be called forth only by 
superior minds2 and1 if a kindred spirit
 presents itself as a partner for life1 
and is accepted1 the union is likely to 
be such as to make the lady rejoice that
 her former predilection was overruled4 
,,marriage4   ,some young persons       
indulge a fastidiousness of feeling in  
relation to this subject1 as though it  
were indelicate to speak of it4 ,others 
make it the principal subject of their  
thoughts and conversation2 yet they seem
 to think it must never be mentioned but
 in jest4 ,both these extremes should be
 avoided4 ,marriage is an ordinance of  
,god1 and therefore a proper subject of 
thought and discussion1 with reference  

to personal duty4 ,it is a matter of    
great importance1 having a direct       
bearing upon the glory of ,god and the  
happiness of individuals4 ,it should1   
therefore1 never be approached with     
levity4 ,but1 as it requires no more    
attention than what is necessary in     
order to understand present duty1 it    
would be foolish to make it a subject of
 constant thought1 and silly to make it 
a common topic of conversation4 ,it is a
 matter which should be weighed         
deliberately and seriously by every     
young person4 ,it was ordained by the   
,lord at the creation1 as suited to the 
state of man as a social being1 and     
necessary to the design for which he was
 created4 ,there is a sweetness and     
comfort in the bosom of one's own family
 which can be enjoyed no where else4 ,in
 early life this is supplied by our     
youthful companions1 who feel in unison 
with us4 ,but as a person who remains   
single1 advances in life1 the friends of
 his youth form new attachments1 in     

which he is incapable of participating4 
,their feelings undergo a change1 of    
which he knows nothing4 ,he is gradually
 left alone4 ,no heart beats in unison  
with his own4 ,his social feelings      
wither for want of an object4 ,as he    
feels not in unison with those around   
him1 his habits also become peculiar1   
and perhaps repulsive1 so that his      
company is not desired2 hence arises the
 whimsical attachments of such persons  
to domestic animals1 or to other objects
 that can be enjoyed in solitude4 ,as   
the dreary winter of age advances1 the  
solitude of this condition becomes still
 more chilling4 ,nothing but that sweet 
resignation to the will of ,god1 which  
religion gives1 under all circumstances1
 can render such a situation tolerable4 
,but religion does not annihilate the   
social affections2 it only regulates    
them4 ,it is evident1 then1 by a lawful 
and proper exercise of these affections1
 both our happiness and usefulness may  
be greatly increased4  ,on the other    

hand1 do not consider marriage as       
absolutely essential4 ,although it is an
 ordinance of ,god1 yet he has not      
absolutely enjoined it upon all4 ,you   
may1 therefore1 be in the way of duty   
while neglecting it4 ,and the apostle   
,paul intimates that there may be1 with 
those who enter this state1 a greater   
tendency of heart toward earthly        
objects4 ,there is also an increase of  
care4 ,the unmarried woman careth for   
the things of the ,lord1 that she may be
 holy1 both in body and spirit2 but she 
that is married1 careth for the things  
of the world1 how she may please her    
husband4 ,but much more has been made of
 this than the apostle intended4 ,it has
 been greatly perverted and abused by   
the church of ,rome4 ,it must be        
observed that1 in the same chapter1 he  
advises that every man have his own wife
 and every woman her own husband4 ,and1 
whatever may be our condition in life1  
if we seek it with earnestness and      
perseverance1 ,god will give us grace   

sufficient for the day4 ,but1 he says1  
though it is no sin to marry1           
nevertheless1 such shall have trouble in
 the flesh4 ,it is undoubtedly true that
 the enjoyments of conjugal life have   
their corresponding difficulties and    
trials2 and if these are enhanced by an 
unhappy connection1 the situation is    
insufferable4 ,for this reason1 ,i would
 have you avoid the conclusion that     
marriage is indispensable to happiness4 
,single life is certainly to be         
preferred to a connection with a person 
who will diminish instead of increase   
your happiness4 ,however1 the remark of 
the apostle1 such shall have trouble in 
the flesh1 doubtless had reference      
chiefly to the peculiar troubles of the 
times1 when ,christians were exposed to 
persecutions1 the loss of goods1 and    
even of life itself1 for ,christ's sake2
 the trials of which would be much      
greater in married than in single life4 
,,marriage ,,hymn4       ,not for the   
summer hour alone1       ,when skies    

resplendent shine1     ,and youth and   
pleasure fill the throne1       ,our    
hearts and hands we join2      ,but for 
those stern and wintry days       ,of   
sorrow1 pain1 and fear1     ,when       
,heaven's wise discipline doth make     
,our earthly journey drear4      ,not   
for this span of life alone1            
,which like a blast doth fly1     ,and1 
as the transient flower of grass1       
,just blossom--droop1 and die2      ,but
 for a being without end1       ,this   
vow of love we take2     ,grant us1 ,o  
,god6 one home at last1       ,for our  
,redeemer's sake4     ,,female          
,,influence4   ,writers of fiction have 
not unfrequently selected this topic as 
the theme for poetry and romance2 they  
have extolled woman as the being whose  
eloquence was to soften all the         
asperities of man1 and polish the       
naturally rugged surface of his         
character2 charming away his sternness  
by her grace2 refining his coarseness by
 her elegance and purity2 and offering  

in her smiles a reward sufficient to    
compensate for the hazards of any       
enterprise4 ,but while the              
self-complacency and vanity of many of  
our sex have been nourished by such idle
 praise1 how few have been awakened to a
 just sense of the deep responsibility  
which rests upon us1 for the faithful   
improvement of this talent1 and our     
consequent accountability for its       
neglect or perversion6  ,it were not a  
little amusing1 if it were not so       
melancholy1 to listen to the reasoning  
employed by many ladies1 in evading any 
charges of non-improvement of this      
trust4 ,she who perhaps but a moment    
before may have listened with the utmost
 self-complacency to the flattering     
strains of the poet1 who had invested   
her sex with every charm calculated to  
render them ministering angels to ruder 
and sterner man1 no sooner finds herself
 addressed as the possessor of a talent1
 implying responsibility1 and imposing  
self-exertion and self-denial in its    

exercise1 than she instantly disclaims1 
with capricious diffidence1 all         
pretensions to influence over others4   
,but we cannot avert accountability by  
disclaiming its existence2 neither will 
the disavowal of the possession of a    
talent alter the constitution of our    
nature1 which ,god has so formed and so 
fitted to produce impressions in1 and   
receive them from1 kindred minds1 that  
it is impossible for us to exist without
 exerting a continual and daily         
influence over others2 either of a      
pernicious or salutary character4       
,woman1 to use the words of an          
accomplished living writer1 has been    
sent on a higher mission than man2 it   
may be a more arduous1 a more difficult 
one4 ,it is to manifest and bring to a  
full development certain attributes     
which belong1 it is true1 to our common 
nature1 but which1 owing to man's       
peculiar relation to the external world1
 he could not so well bring to          
perfection4 ,man is sent forth to subdue

 the earth1 to obtain command over the  
elements1 to form political communities2
 and to him1 therefore1 belong the more 
hardy and austere virtues2 and as they  
are made subservient to the relief of   
our physical wants1 and as their results
 are more obvious to the senses1 it is  
not surprising that they have acquired  
in his eyes an importance which does not
 in strictness belong to them4 ,but     
humility1 meekness1 gentleness1 love1   
are also important attributes of our    
nature1 and it would present a sad and  
melancholy aspect without them4 ,but let
 us ask1 will man1 with his present     
characteristic propensities1 thrown much
 more than woman1 by his immediate      
duties1 upon material things2 obliged to
 be conversant with objects of sense1   
and exposed to the rude conflicts which 
this leads to2 will he bring out these  
virtues in their full beauty and        
strength8 ,we think not--even with the  
assistance which religion promises4     
,these principles1 with many others     

linked with them1 have been placed more 
particularly in the keeping of woman2   
her social condition being evidently    
more favorable to their full            
development4  ,let us ever remember that
 every aggregate number1 however great1 
is composed of units2 and of course1    
were each ,american female but faithful 
to her ,god1 to her family1 and to her  
country1 then would a mighty1 sanctified
 influence go forth through the wide    
extent of our beloved land1 diffusing   
moral health and vigor through every    
part1 and strengthening it for the      
endurance of greater trials than have as
 yet menaced its existence4 ,a spirit of
 insubordination and rebellion to lawful
 authority pervades our land2 and where 
are these foes effectually to be        
checked1 if not at their fountain       
head--in the nursery8 ,oh6 if every     
,american mother had but labored        
faithfully in that sacred inclosure1    
from the period of our revolutionary    
struggle1 by teaching her children the  

great lesson of practical obedience to  
parental authority2 then would          
submission to constituted authority1 as 
well as to the will of ,god1 have been  
far more prevalent in our land1 and the 
whole aspect of her affairs would have  
been widely different4  ,how much more  
honorable to woman is such a position1  
than that in which some modern reformers
 have endeavored to place her1 or rather
 force her4 ,instead of seeking         
hopelessly1 and in direct opposition to 
the delicacy of her sex1 to obtain for  
her political privileges2 instead of    
bringing her forward as the competitor  
of man in the public arena2 we would    
mark out for her a sphere of duty that  
is widely different4 ,in the domestic   
circle1 her station should be at man's  
side1 to comfort1 to encourage1 to      
assist2 while1 in the ,christian temple1
 we would assign her an ennobling1 but a
 feminine part1--to be the guardian of  
the sacred and spiritual fire1 which is 
ever to be kept alive in its purity and 

brilliancy on the altar of ,god4 ,she   
should be the vestal virgin in the      
,christian temple--the priestess1 as it 
were1 of a shrine more hallowed and     
honorable than that of ,delphos4     ,a 
,,difficult ,,question4   ,i remember1  
many years ago1 to have occupied the    
corner of a window-seat1 in a small but 
very elegant house in ,montague-square1 
during a morning visit--more interesting
 than such visits usually are1 because  
there was something to talk about4 ,the 
ladies who met1 had each a child1 ,i    
believe an only girl1 just of the age   
when mothers begin to ask every body1   
and tell every body1 how their children 
are to be educated4 ,the daughter of the
 house1 the little ,jemima1 was sitting 
by my side2 a delicate little creature1 
with something very remarkable in her   
expression4 ,the broad projecting brow  
seemed too heavy for its underwork2 and 
by its depression1 gave a look of       
sadness to the countenance1 till excited
 animation raised the eye1 beaming      

vivacity and strength4 ,the sallow      
paleness of the complexion was so       
entirely in unison with the features1   
and the stiff dark locks which          
surrounded them1 it was difficult to say
 whether it was1 or was not1 improved by
 the color that came and went every time
 she was looked at or spoken of4 ,i was1
 on this occasion1 a very attentive     
listener3 for1 being not yet a woman1 it
 was very essential to me to learn what 
sort of a one ,i had better be2 and     
many1 indeed1 were my                   
counter-resolutions1 as the following   
debate proceeded3  ,you are going to    
send your daughter to school ,i hear8   
said ,mrs4 ,a41 after some discourse of 
other matters4  ,mrs4 ,w4 replied1      
,really1 ,i have not quite determined2  
,i scarcely know what to do for the     
best4 ,i am only anxious that she should
 grow up like other girls2 for of all   
things in the world1 ,i have the        
greatest horror of a woman of talent4 ,i
 had never thought to part from her1 and

 am still averse to sending her from    
home2 but she is so excessively fond of 
books1 ,i can get her to do nothing else
 but learn2 she is as grave and sensible
 as a little woman4 ,i think1 if she    
were among other girls1 she would       
perhaps get fond of play1 and be more   
like a child4 ,i wish her to grow up a  
quiet1 domestic girl1 and not too fond  
of learning4 ,i mean her to be          
accomplished2 but1 at present1 ,i cannot
 make her distinguish one tune from     
another4  ,mrs4 ,a4 answered1 ,indeed6  
we differ much in this respect4 ,i am   
determined to make ,fanny a superior    
woman1 whatever it may cost me4 ,her    
father is of the same mind2 he has a    
perfect horror of silly1 empty-headed   
women2 all our family are literary2     
,fanny will have little fortune1 but we 
can afford to give her every advantage  
in her education1 the best portion we   
can leave her4 ,i would rather see her  
distinguished for talents1 than for     
birth or riches4 ,we have acted upon    

this intention from her birth4 ,she     
already reads well1 but ,i am sorry to  
say she hates it1 and never will open a 
book unless she is obliged2 she shows no
 taste for any thing but making doll's  
clothes and spinning a top4  ,at this   
moment a hearty laugh from little       
,fanny1 who had set herself to play     
behind the curtain1 drew my attention   
towards her4 ,she was twice as big as my
 companion on the window-seat1 though   
but a few months older2 her broad1 flat 
face1 showed like the moon in its       
zenith1 set in thin1 silky hair3 and    
with eyes as pretty as they could be1   
expressing neither thought nor feeling1 
but abundance of mirth and good-humor4  
,the coloring of her cheek was          
beautiful2 but one wished it gone       
sometimes1 were it only for the pleasure
 of seeing it come again4 ,the          
increasing seriousness of the           
conversation recalled my attention4  ,i 
am surprised1 ,mrs4 ,w4 was saying1 at  
your wishes on the subject4 ,i am       

persuaded a woman of great talent is    
neither so happy1 so useful1 nor so much
 beloved1 as one or more ordinary       
powers4  ,i should like to know why you 
think this1 rejoined her friend2 it     
appears to me she should be much more   
so4  ,my view of it is this1 ,mrs4 ,w4  
replied3 a woman's sphere of usefulness1
 of happiness1 and of affection1 is a   
domestic circle2 and even beyond it1 all
 her task of life is to please and to be
 useful4  ,in this we are quite agreed1 
said ,mrs4 ,a42 but1 since we are well  
set for an argument1 let us have a      
little method in it4 ,you would have    
your child useful1 happy1 and beloved1  
and so would ,i2 but you think the means
 to this end1 is to leave her mind      
uncultivated1 narrow1 and empty1 and    
consequently weak4  ,this1 is not my    
meaning1 replied ,mrs4 ,w42 there are   
many steps between stupidity and talent1
 ignorance and learning4 ,i will suppose
 my child what ,i wish her to be1 about 
as much taught as women in general1 who 

are esteemed clever1 well-mannered1 and 
well-accomplished4 ,i think it is all   
that can contribute to her happiness4   
,if her mind is occupied1 as you will   
say1 with little things1 those little   
things are sufficient to its enjoyment1 
and much more likely to be within her   
reach than the greater matters that fill
 greater minds4 ,my less accomplished   
character will enjoy herself where your 
superior woman would go to sleep1 or    
hopelessly wish she might4 ,in short1   
she will find fellowship and            
reciprocation in every little mind she  
meets with1 while yours is left to pine 
in the solitude of her own greatness4   
,at the close of this speech1 ,i felt   
quite determined that ,i would not be   
such a woman4  ,mrs4 ,a4 rejoined1 ,you 
have left my genius in a doleful        
condition1 though ,i question whether   
you will persuade her to come down4 ,i  
will admit1 however1 for ,i am afraid ,i
 must1 that the woman of talent is less 
likely to find reciprocation1 or to     

receive enjoyment from ordinary people  
and ordinary circumstances2 but then she
 is like the camel that traverses the   
desert safely where others perish1      
because it carries its sustenance in its
 own bosom4 ,i never remember to have   
heard a really sensible and cultivated  
woman complain of ennui1 under any      
circumstances--no small balance on the  
side of enjoyment positive1 is misery   
escaped4 ,but1 to leave jesting1        
admitting that the woman of more        
elevated mind derives less pleasure from
 the adventitious circumstances that    
surround her1 from what money can       
purchase1 and a tranquil mind enjoy1 and
 activity gather1 of the passing flowers
 of life--she has enjoyments1           
independent of them1 in the treasures of
 her own intellect4 ,where she finds    
reciprocation1 it is a delight of which 
the measure compensates the rareness2   
and where she finds nothing else to     
enjoy1 she can herself4 ,and when the   
peopled walks of life become a          

wilderness2 and the assiduities of      
friendship rest unclaimed2 and sensible 
gratifications are withered before the  
blight of poverty2 and the foot is too  
weary1 and the eye is too dim1 to go    
after what no one remembers to bring2   
still are her resources untouched4      
,poverty cannot diminish her revenue1 or
 friendlessness leave her unaccompanied1
 or privation of every external         
incitement consign her to the void of   
unoccupied powers4 ,she will traverse   
the desert1 for her store is with her2  
and if1 as you have suggested1 she be   
doomed to supply others what no one pays
 her back1 there is ,one who has said1  
',it is more blessed to give than to    
receive4'  ,at this point of the        
discussion1 ,i made up my mind to be a  
very sensible woman4  ,mrs4 ,w4 resumed3
 ,you will allow1 of course1 that       
selfish enjoyment is not the object of  
existence2 and ,i think1 on the score of
 usefulness1 ,i shall carry my poor1    
dependent house-wife1 far above yours4  

,and for this very reason3 ,the duties  
which ,providence has assigned to woman1
 do not require extraordinary intellect4
 ,she can manage her husband's          
household1 and economize his substance2 
and if she cannot entertain his friends 
with her talents1 she can at least give 
them a welcome2 and be his nurse in     
sickness1 and his watchful companion in 
health1 if not capable of sharing his   
more intellectual occupations4 ,she can 
be the support and comfort of her       
parents in the decline of life1 or of   
her children in their helplessness1     
according as her situation may be4 ,and 
out of her house she may be the         
benefactress and example of a whole     
neighborhood2 she may comfort the       
afflicted1 and clothe and feed the poor1
 and visit the sick1 and advise the     
ignorant2 while1 by the domestic        
industry1 and peaceful1 unaspiring      
habits1 with which she plods1 as you may
 please to call it1 through the duties  
of her station1 whether higher or lower1

 she is a perpetual example to those    
beneath her1 to like sober assiduity in 
their own1 and to her children's        
children to follow in the path in which 
she leads them4 ,she may be             
superintending the household            
occupations1 or actually performing     
them2 giving employment by her wealth to
 others' ingenuity1 or supplying the    
want of it by her own1 according as her 
station is1 but still she will make many
 happy4  ,i am not so prejudiced as to  
say that your woman of talent will      
refuse these duties2 of course1 if she  
have principle1 she will not4 ,but      
literary pursuits must at least divide  
her attention1 if not unfit her         
altogether for the tasks the order of   
,providence has assigned her2 she will  
distaste such duties1 if she does not   
refuse them2 while the distance at which
 her attainments place her from ordinary
 minds1 forbid all attempts to imitate  
or follow her4  ,you have drawn a       
picture1 answered ,mrs4 ,a41 which would

 convert half the world1 if they were   
not of your mind already1 as ,i believe 
they are4 ,it is a picture so beautiful1
 ,i would not blot it with the shadow of
 my finger4 ,i concede that talent is   
not necessary to usefulness1 and a woman
 may fulfill every duty of her station  
without it4 ,but our question is of     
comparative usefulness2 and there ,i    
have something to say4 ,it is an axiom  
that knowledge is power2 and1 if it is1 
the greater the knowledge1 the greater  
should be the power of doing good4 ,to  
men1 superior intelligence gives power  
to dispose1 control1 and govern the     
fortunes of others4 ,to women1 it gives 
influence over their minds4 ,the greater
 knowledge which she has acquired of the
 human heart1 gives her access to it in 
all its subtleties2 while her           
acknowledged superiority secures that   
deference to her counsels1 which        
weakness ever pays to strength4  ,if the
 circumstances of her condition require 
it1 ,i believe the greater will suffice 

the less1 and she will fulfill equally  
well the duties you have enumerated2    
shedding as bright a light upon her     
household1 as if it bounded her horizon4
 ,nay1 more1 there may be minds in her  
household that need the reciprocation of
 an equal mind1 or the support of a     
superior one2 there may be spirits in   
her family that will receive from the   
influence of intellect1 what they would 
not from simple and good intention4     
,there may be other wants in her        
neighborhood than hunger and nakedness1 
and other defaulters than the ignorant  
and the poor4 ,whether she writes1      
speaks1 or acts1 the effect is not      
bounded by time1 nor limited by space4  
,that is worth telling of her1 and is   
repeated from mouth to mouth1 which1 in 
an ordinary person1 none would notice4  
,her acknowledged superiority gives her 
a title1 as well as a capacity to speak1
 where others must be silent1 and carry 
counsel and consolation where commoner  
characters might not intrude4  ,the mass

 of human misery1 and human need1 and   
human corruption1 is not confined to the
 poor1 the simple minded1 and the child4
 ,the husband's and the parent's cares  
are not confined to their external      
commodities1 nor the children's to the  
well-being of their physical estate4    
,the mind that could illumine its own   
solitude1 can cheer another's           
destitution2 the strength that can      
support itself1 can stay another's      
falling2 the wealth may be unlocked1 and
 supply another's poverty4 ,those who in
 prosperity seek amusement from superior
 talent1 will seek it in difficulty or  
advice1 and in adversity for support4   
,here ,i made up my mind to have a great
 deal of intellect4  ,if ,i granted your
 position on the subject of utility1    
said ,mrs4 ,w41 ,i am afraid ,i should  
prove the world very ungrateful by the  
remainder of my argument2 which goes1   
you know1 to prove the woman of         
distinguished talent less beloved than  
those who walk the ordinary paths of    

female duty4 ,i must take the risk1     
however2 for1 of all women in the world1
 your women of genius are those ,i love 
the least2 and ,i believe1 just or      
unjust1 it is a very common feeling4 ,we
 are not disposed to love our superiors 
in any thing2 but least of all1 in      
intellect2 one has always the feeling of
 playing an equal game1 without being   
sure that no advantage will be taken of 
your simplicity4 ,a woman who has the   
reputation of talent1 is1 in this       
respect1 the most unfortunate being on  
earth4 ,she stands in society1 like a   
,european before a horde of savages1    
vainly endeavoring to signify his good  
intentions4 ,if he approaches them1 they
 run away2 if he recedes1 they send     
their arrows after him4 ,every one is   
afraid to address her1 lest they expose 
to her penetration their own            
deficiencies4 ,if she talks1 she is     
supposed to display her powers2 if she  
holds her tongue1 it is attributed to   
contempt for the company4 ,i know that  

talent is often combined with every     
amiable quality1 and renders the        
character really the more lovely2 but   
not therefore the more beloved4 ,it     
would1 if known2 but it seldom is known1
 because seldom approached near enough  
to be examined4  ,the simple-minded fear
 what they do not understand2 the       
double-minded envy what they cannot     
reach4 ,for my good1 simple housewife1  
every body loves her who knows her2 and 
nobody1 who does not know her1 troubles 
themselves about her4 ,but place a woman
 on an eminence1 and every body thinks  
they are obliged to like or dislike her2
 and1 being too tenacious to do the one 
without good reason1 they do the other  
without any reason at all4 ,before we   
can love each other1 there must be      
sympathy1 assimilation1 and1 if not     
equality1 at least such an approach to  
it as may enable us to understand each  
other4 ,when any one is much superior to
 us1 our humility shrinks from the      
proffers of her love1 and our pride     

revolts from offering her our own4 ,real
 talent is always modest1 and fears     
often to make advances towards          
affection1 lest it should seem1 in doing
 so1 to presume upon itself2 but1 having
 rarely the credit of timidity1 this    
caution is attributable to pride4 ,your 
superior woman1 therefore1 will not be  
generally known or beloved by her own   
sex1 among whom she may have many       
admirers1 but few equals4  ,i say       
nothing of marriage1 because ,i am not  
speculating upon it for my child1 as    
upon the chances of a well-played game2 
but it is certain that the greater      
number of men are not highly            
intellectual1 and therefore could not   
wisely choose a highly intellectual     
wife1 lest they place themselves in the 
condition in which a husband should not 
be--of mental inferiority4  ,mrs4 ,w41  
answered her friend1 ,i am aware this is
 your strongest post2 but ,i must not   
give ground without a battle4 ,a great  
deal ,i shall yield you4 ,i shall give  

up quantity1 and stand upon the value of
 the remainder4 ,be it granted1 then1   
that of any twenty people assembled in  
society1 every one of whom will         
pronounce your common-place woman to be 
very amiable1 very good1 and very       
pleasing1 ten shall pronounce my friend 
too intellectual for their taste1 eight 
shall find her not so clever as they    
expected1 and1 of the other two1 one at 
least shall not be sure whether they    
like her or not4 ,be it granted that1 of
 every five ladies assembled to gossip  
freely1 and tell out their small cares  
and feelings to the sympathizing        
kindness of your friend1 four shall     
become silent as wax-work on the        
entrance of mine4 ,and be it granted    
that1 of any ten gentlemen to whom yours
 would be a very proper wife1 not more  
than one could wisely propose himself to
 mine4 ,but have ,i therefore lost the  
field8 ,perhaps she would tell you no2  
the two in twenty1 the one in five or   
ten1 are of more value1 in her          

estimation1 than all the number else4   
,things are not apt to be valued by     
their abundance4 ,on the jeweler's      
stall1 many a brilliant trinket will    
disappear1 ere the high-priced gem be   
asked for2 but is it1 therefore1 the    
less valued1 or the less cared for8     
,when beloved at all1 she is loved      
permanently2 for1 in the lapse of time1 
that withers the charm of beauty1 and   
blights the simplicity of youth1 her    
ornaments grow but the brighter for     
wearing4 ,in proportion to the depth of 
the intellect1 ,i believe1 is the depth 
of every thing2 feelings1 affections1   
pleasures1 pains1 or whatever else the  
enlarged capacity conceives4 ,it is     
difficult perhaps for an inferior mind  
to estimate what a superior mind enjoys 
in the reciprocation of affection4      
,attachment1 with ordinary persons1 is  
enjoyed to-day1 and regretted to-morrow1
 and the next day replaced and          
forgotten2 but with these it never can  
be forgotten1 because it can never be   

replaced4  ,as the argument1 thus       
terminated1 converted neither party1 it 
is needless to say it left me in        
suspense4 ,mrs4 ,w4 was still determined
 her child should not be a superior     
woman4 ,mrs4 ,a4 was still resolved her 
child should be1 at all ventures2 and ,i
 was still undetermined whether ,i would
 endeavor to be a learned woman or not4 
,the little ,fanny laughed aloud1 opened
 her large round eyes1 and shouted1 ,so 
,i will1 mamma6 ,the little ,jemima     
colored to the ends of her fingers1 and 
lowered still farther the lashes that   
veiled her eyes4     ,,easily ,,decided4
   ,i was walking with some friends in a
 retired part of the country4 ,it had   
rained for fourteen days before1 and ,i 
believed it rained then2 but there was a
 belief among the ladies of that country
 that it is better to walk in all       
weather4 ,the lane was wide enough to   
pass in file1 with chilly droppings from
 the boughs above1 and rude re-action of
 the briers beneath4 ,the clay upon our 

shoes showed a troublesome affinity to  
the clay upon the road4 ,umbrellas we   
could not hold up because of the wind4  
,but it was better to walk than stay at 
home1 so at least my companions assured 
me1 for exercise and an appetite4 ,after
 pursuing them1 with hopeless assiduity1
 for more than a mile1 without sight of 
egress or sign of termination1 finding  
,i had already enough of the one1 and   
doubting how far the other might be off1
 ,i lagged behind1 and began to think   
how ,i might amuse myself till their    
return4  ,by one of those fortunate     
incidents1 which they tell me never     
happen to any body but a listener1 ,i   
heard the sound of voices over the      
hedge4 ,this was delightful4 ,in this   
occupation ,i forgot both mud and rain1 
exercise and appetite4 ,the hedge was   
too thick to see through1 and all that  
appeared above it was a low chimney1    
from which ,i concluded it concealed a  
cottage garden4  ,what in the name of   
wonder1 ,james1 can you be doing8 said a

 voice1 significant of neither youth nor
 gentleness4  ,i war'nt ye know what ,i 
am about1 said another1 more rudely than
 unkindly4  ,i'm not sure of that1      
rejoined the first2 you've been hacking 
and hewing at them trees this four      
hours1 and ,i do not see1 for my part1  
as you're like to mend them4  ,why1     
mother1 said the lad1 you see we have   
but two trees in all the garden1 and    
,i've been thinking they'd match better 
if they were alike2 so ,i've tied up to 
a pole the boughs of the                
gooseberry-bush1 that used to spread    
themselves about the ground1 to make it 
look more like this thorn2 and now ,i'm 
going to cut down the thorn to make it  
look more like the gooseberry-bush4     
,and what's the good of that8 rejoined  
the mother2 has not the tree sheltered  
us many a stormy night1 when the wind   
would have beaten the old casement about
 our ears8 and many a scorching         
noon-tide1 hasn't your father eaten his 
dinner in its shade8 ,and now1 to be    

sure1 because you are the master1 you   
think you can mend it6  ,we shall see1  
said the youth1 renewing his strokes4   
,it's no use as it is2 ,i dare say you'd
 like to see it bear gooseberries4  ,no 
use6 exclaimed the mother2 don't the    
birds go to roost on the branches1 and  
the poultry get shelter under it from   
the rain8 and after all your cutting1 ,i
 don't see as you're likely to turn a   
thorn-tree into a gooseberry-bush6  ,i  
don't see why ,i should not1 replied the
 sage artificer1 with a tone of         
reflectiveness2 the leaf is near about  
the same1 and there are thorns on both2 
if ,i make that taller and this shorter1
 and they grow the same shape1 ,i don't 
suppose you know why one should bear    
gooseberries any more than the other1 as
 wise as you are4  ,why1 to be sure1    
,james1 the old woman answered1 in a    
moderate voice1 ,i can't say that ,i do2
 but ,i have lived almost through my    
threescore years and ten1 and ,i have   
never heard of gooseberries growing on a

 thorn4  ,haven't you1 though8 said     
,james2 but then ,i have1 or something  
pretty much like it2 for ,i saw the     
gardener1 over yonder1 cutting off the  
head of a young pear-tree1 and he told  
me he was going to make it bear apples4 
,well1 said the mother1 seemingly       
reconciled1 ,i know nothing of your     
new-fangled ways4 ,i only know it was   
the finest thorn in the parish2 but1 to 
be sure1 now they are more match-like   
and regular4  ,i left a story half told4
 ,this may seem to be another1 but it is
 in fact the same4 ,james1 in the       
,sussex-lane1 and my friends in         
,montague-square1 were engaged in the   
same task1 and the result of the one    
would pretty fairly measure the         
successes of the other2 both were       
contravening the order of nature1 and   
pursuing their own purpose1 without     
consulting the appointments of          
,providence4  ,fanny was a girl of      
common understanding2 such indeed as    
suitable cultivation might have matured 

into simple good sense2 but from which  
her parents' scheme of education could  
produce nothing but pretension that     
could not be supported1 and an          
affectation of what could never be      
attained4 ,conscious of the want of all 
perceptible talent in her child1 ,mrs4  
,a4 from the first told the stories of  
talent opening late1 and the untimely   
blighting of premature intellect2 and1  
to the last1 maintained the omnipotence 
of cultivation4  ,on every new proof of 
the smallness of her mind1 another      
science was added to enlarge it4        
,languages1 dead and living1 were to be 
to her the keys of knowledge2 but they  
unlocked nothing to ,fanny but their own
 grammars and vocabularies1 which she   
learned assiduously1 without so much as 
wondering what they meant4 ,the more    
dull she proved1 the more earnestly she 
was plied4 ,she was sent to school to   
try the spur of emulation2 and brought  
home again for the advantage of more    
exclusive attention4 ,and1 as still the 

progress lagged1 all feminine employ and
 childlike recreations were prohibited1 
to gain more time for study4 ,it cannot 
be said that ,fannny's health was       
injured by the over action of her mind2 
for1 having none1 it could not be easily
 acted upon2 but1 by perpetual dronish  
application1 and sacrifice of all       
external things for the furtherance of  
this scheme of mental cultivation1 her  
physical energies were suppressed1 and  
she became heavy1 awkward1 and inactive4
  ,fanny had no pleasure in reading1 but
 she had a pride in having read2 and    
listened1 with no small satisfaction1 to
 her mother's detail of the authors she 
was conversant with2 beyond her age1    
and1 as some untalented ventured to     
suggest1 not always suited to her years 
of innocence4 ,the arcana of their pages
 were safe1 however1 and quite guiltless
 of her mind's corruption4 ,fanny never 
thought1 whatever she might read2 what  
was in the book1 was nothing to her2 all
 her business was to have read it4      

,meantime1 while the powers he had not  
were solicited in vain1 the talents she 
had were neglected and suppressed4 ,her 
good-humored enjoyment of ordinary      
things1 her real taste for domestic     
arrangement1 and open simplicity of     
heart1 were derided as vulgar and       
unintellectual4 ,her talent for music   
was thought not worth cultivating2 time 
could not be spared4 ,some little       
capacity she had for drawing1 as an     
imitative art1 was baffled by the       
determination to teach it her           
scientifically1 thus rendering it as    
impossible as every thing else4 ,in     
short--for why need ,i prolong my       
sketch8--,fanny was prepared by nature  
to be the beau ideal of ,mrs4 ,w4's     
amiable woman4  ,constitutionally active
 and benevolent1 judicious culture might
 have made her sensible1 and1 in common 
life1 intelligent1 pleasing1 useful1    
happy4 ,nay1 ,i need only refer to the  
picture of my former paper1 to say what 
,fanny1 well educated1 was calculated to

 become4 ,but this was what her parents 
were determined she should not be2 and  
they spent twenty years1 and no small   
amount of cash1 to make her a woman of  
superior mind and distinguished literary
 attainments4  ,i saw the result2 for ,i
 saw ,fanny at twenty1 the most         
unlovely1 useless1 and unhappy being ,i 
ever met with4 ,the very docility of a  
mind1 not strong enough to choose its   
own part1 and resist the influence of   
circumstances1 hastened forward the     
catastrophe4 ,she had learned to think  
herself what she could not be1 and to   
despise what in reality she was2 she    
could not otherwise than do so1 for she 
had been imbued with it from her cradle4
  ,she was accustomed from her infancy  
to intellectual society2 kept up to     
listen1 when she should have been in    
bed2 she counted the spots on the       
carpet1 heard nothing that was said1 and
 prided herself on being one of such    
company4 ,a little later1 she was       
encouraged to talk to every body1 and   

give her opinion upon every thing1 in   
order to improve and exercise her mind4 
,her mind remained unexercised1 because 
she talked without thinking2 but she    
learned to chatter1 to repeat other     
people's opinions1 and fancy her own    
were of immense importance4  ,she was   
unlovely1 because she sought only to    
please by means she had not1 and to     
please those who were quite beyond her  
reach2 others she had been accustomed to
 neglect as unfit for her companionship4
 ,she was useless1 because what she     
might have done well1 she was           
unaccustomed to do at all1 and what she 
attempted1 she was incapable of4 ,and   
she was unhappy1 because all her natural
 tastes had been thwarted1 and her      
natural feelings suppressed2 and of her 
acquired habits and high-sounding       
pursuits she had no capacity for        
enjoyment4 ,her love of classic and     
scientific lore1 her delight in         
libraries1 and museums1 and choice      
intellects1 and literary circles1 was a 

fiction2 they gratified nothing but her 
vanity4 ,her small1 narrow1 weak1 and   
dependent mind1 was a reality1 and      
placed her within reach of mortification
 and disappointment1 from the merest and
 meanest trifles4  ,jemima--my little   
friend ,jemima--,i lived to see her a   
woman too4 ,from her infancy she had    
never evinced the tastes and feelings of
 a child4 ,intense reflection1 keen and 
impatient sensibility and an unlimited  
desire to know1 marked her from the     
earliest years as a very extraordinary  
child2 dislike to the plays and         
exercises of childhood made her         
unpleasing to her companions1 and1 to   
superficial observers1 melancholy2 but  
this was amply contradicted by the eager
 vivacity of her intellect and feeling1 
when called forth by things beyond the  
usual compass of her age4 ,every thing  
in ,jemima gave promise of extraordinary
 talent and distinguished character4    
,this her parents saw1 and were         
determined to counteract4 ,they had made

 up their minds what a woman should be1 
and were determined ,jemima should be   
nothing else4 ,every thing calculated to
 call forth her powers was kept out of  
her way1 and childish occupations forced
 on her in their stead4 ,the favorite   
maxim was1 to occupy her mind with      
common things2 she was made to romp1 and
 to dance and to play2 to read story    
books1 and make dolls' clothes4 ,her    
physical powers were thus occupied2 but 
where was her mind the while8 ,feeding  
itself with fancies1 for want of truths2
 drawing false conclusions1 forming     
wrong judgments1 and brooding over its  
own mistakes1 for want of a judicious   
occupation of its activities4  ,another 
maxim was1 to keep ,jemima ignorant of  
her own capacity1 lest she should set up
 for a genius1 and be undomesticated4   
,she was told she had none1 and was left
 in ignorance of what she was capable1  
and for what she was responsible4 ,made 
to believe that her fine feelings were  
oddities1 her expansive thoughts        

absurdities1 and her love of knowledge  
unfeminine and ungraceful1 she kept them
 to herself1 and became reserved1 timid1
 and artificial4  ,nobody could prevent 
,jemima's acquiring knowledge2 she saw  
every thing1 reflected upon every thing1
 and learned from every thing2 but      
without guide1 and without discretion1  
she gathered the honey and the gall     
together1 and knew not which was which4 
,she was sent to school that she might  
learn to play1 and fetched home that she
 might learn to be useful4 ,in the      
former place she was shunned as an      
oddity1 because she preferred to learn2 
and1 finding herself disliked without   
deserving it1 encouraged herself to     
independence by disliking every body4   
,in the latter1 she sewed her work awry1
 while she made a couplet to the moon1  
and unpicked it while she made another2 
and being told she did every thing ill1 
believed it1 and became indolent and    
careless to do any thing4 ,consumed1    
meanwhile1 by the restless workings of  

her mind1 and tasked to exercise for    
which its delicate frame-work was unfit1
 her person became faded1 worn1 and     
feeble4  ,to be brief1 her parents      
succeeded in baffling nature's promise1 
but failed of the fulfillment of their  
own4 ,at twenty1 ,jemima was a puzzle to
 every body1 and a weariness to herself4
 ,conscious of her powers1 but not      
knowing how to spend them1 she gave in  
to every imaginable caprice4 ,having    
made the discovery of her superiority1  
she despised the opinions of others1    
while her own were too ill-formed to be 
her guide4 ,proud of possessing talent1 
and yet ashamed to show it2 unaccustomed
 to explain herself2 certain of being   
misunderstood1 and least of all         
understanding herself2 ignorant1 in the 
midst of knowledge1 and incapable with  
unlimited capacity2 tasteless for every 
thing she did1 and ignorant how to do   
what she had a taste for1 her mind was a
 luxuriant wilderness1 inaccessible to  
others1 and utterly unproductive to its 

possessor4 ,unpleasing and unfitted in  
the sphere she was in1 and yet unfitted 
by habit and timidity for any other1    
weariness and disgust were her daily    
portion2 her fine sensibilities1 her    
deep feelings1 her expansive thoughts1  
remained2 but only to be wounded1 to    
irritate1 to mislead her4  ,where is the
 moral of my tale1 and what the use of  
telling it8 ,i have told it because ,i  
see that ,god has his purposes in every 
thing that he has done2 and man has his 
own1 and disregards them4 ,and every day
 ,i hear it disputed1 with acrimony and 
much unkindness1 what faculties and     
characters it is better to have or not  
to have1 without any consideration of   
what ,god has given or withheld2 and    
standards are set up1 by which all must 
be measured1 though1 alas6 they cannot  
take from or add one cubit to their     
statures4 ,there is one glory of the    
sun1 and another glory of the moon1 and 
another glory of the stars2 for one star
 differeth from another star in glory4  

,why do we not censure the sun for      
outshining the stars1 and the pale moon 
for having no light but what she        
borrows8  ,instead of settling for      
others what they ought to be1 and       
choosing for ourselves what we will be1 
would it not be better to examine the   
condition in which we are actually      
placed1 and the faculties actually      
committed to us8 and consider what was  
the purpose of ,heaven in the former1   
and what the demand of ,heaven in the   
occupation of the latter8 ,if we have   
much1 we are not at liberty to put it   
aside1 and say we should be better      
without it2 if we have little1 we are   
not at liberty to be dissatisfied1 and  
aspiring after more4 ,and surely we are 
not at liberty to say that another has  
too much1 or too little1 of what ,god   
has given6 ,we may have our preferences1
 but we must not mistake them for       
standards of right4  ,every character   
has beauties peculiar to itself1 and    
dangers to which it is peculiarly       

exposed2 and there are duties1          
pertaining to each1 apart from the      
circumstances in which they may be      
placed4 ,nothing1 therefore1 can be more
 contrary to the manifest order and     
disposition of ,providence1 than to     
endeavor to be1 or do1 whatever we      
admire in another1 or to force ourselves
 to be and do whatever we admire in     
ourselves4 ,which character1 of the     
endless variety that surrounds us1 is   
the most happy1 the most useful1 and    
most deserving to be beloved1 it were   
impossible1 ,i believe1 to decide2 and1 
if we could1 we have gained little by   
the decision2 for we could neither give 
it to our children1 nor to ourselves4   
,but of this we may be certain3 that    
individual1 of whatever intellectual    
character1 is the happiest1 the most    
useful1 and the most beloved of ,god1 if
 not of men1 who has best subserved the 
purposes of ,heaven in her creation and 
endowment2 who has most carefully turned
 to good the faculties she has2 most    

cautiously guarded against the evils to 
which her propensities incline2 most    
justly estimated1 and conscientiously   
fulfilled1 the duties appropriate to her
 circumstance and character4            
,,influence ,,of ,,christianity ,,on    
,,woman4   ,the abject condition of the 
female sex1 in all1 out of ,christian   
countries1 is universally known and     
admitted4 ,in all savage and pagan      
tribes1 the severest burdens of physical
 toil are laid upon their shoulders2    
they are chiefly valued for the same    
reason that men value their most useful 
animals1 or as objects of their sensual 
and selfish desires4 ,even in the       
learned and dignified forms of ,eastern 
paganism1 the wife1 says one who has    
spent seventeen years among them1 is the
 slave1 rather than the companion of her
 husband4 ,she is not allowed to walk   
with him1 she must walk behind him2 not 
to eat with him1 she must eat after him1
 and eat of what he leaves4 ,she must   
not sleep until he is asleep1 nor remain

 asleep after he is awake4 ,if she is   
sitting1 and he comes in1 she should    
rise up4 ,she should1 say their sacred  
books1 have no other god on earth than  
her husband4 ,him she should worship    
while he lives1 and1 when he dies1 she  
should be burnt with him4 ,as the widow1
 in case she is not burnt1 is not       
allowed to marry again1 is often        
considered little better than an        
outcast1 and not unfrequently sinks into
 gross vice1 her life can scarcely be   
considered a blessing4  ,the same author
 remarks1 that there is little social   
intercourse between the sexes2 little or
 no acquaintance of the parties before  
marriage1 and consequently little mutual
 attachment2 and as there is an absolute
 vacuity and darkness in the minds of   
the females1 who are not allowed even to
 learn to read1 there is no solid       
foundation laid for domestic happiness4 
,if we pass into the dominions of the   
crescent1 we find the condition of      
females1 in some respects1 rather worse1

 it would seem1 than better4 ,for1 in   
pagan ,india1 debased and abused as     
woman is1 she is still allowed some     
interest in religion1 and some common   
expectations with the other sex1        
concerning the future state4 ,but in    
,mohammedan countries1 even this is     
nearly or quite denied her4 ,it is a    
popular tradition among the             
,mohammedans1 which obtains to this day1
 that woman shall not enter ,paradise2  
and it requires some effort of the      
imagination to conceive how debased and 
wretched must be the condition of the   
female sex1 to originate and sustain    
such a horrible and blasphemous         
tradition4  ,even in the refined and    
shining ages of ,egypt1 ,greece1 and    
,rome1 where the cultivation of letters1
 the graces of finished style1 the      
charms of poetry and eloquence1 the     
elegances of architecture1 sculpture1   
painting1 and embroidery1 the glory of  
conquest1 and the pride of national     
distinction1 were unsurpassed by any    

people before or since--even then and   
there1 what was the woman but the abject
 slave of man8 the object of his        
ambition1 or his avarice1 or his lust1  
or his power8 the alternate victim of   
his pleasures1 his disgust1 or his      
cruelty8 the creature of his caprice8   
and1 what is worse1 the menial slave of 
her own mental darkness1 moral          
debasement1 and vicious indulgences8 ,if
 history is not false1 the answer is    
decisive4 ,this1 and only this1 was she6
  ,but how entirely has our religion    
reversed all this1 and rendered her life
 a blessing to herself and to society4  
,and as ,christianity has done so much  
for woman1 she ought in return to do    
much for ,christianity4 ,every thing    
that can render life desirable1 she owes
 to ,christ4 ,think for one moment of   
the hole of the pit from which ,christ  
has taken you6 ,think of what would be  
your present condition1 had it not been 
for the ,christian religion6 ,you might 
have been with the debased and wretched 

victims of pagan oppression1 cruelty1   
and lust2 burning alive upon the funeral
 pile2 or sacrificed by hands of        
violence or pollution2 or cast out1 and 
neglected1 to pine in solitary and      
hopeless grief4 ,or1 with the female    
followers of the false prophet1 or1 in  
more refined but unchristian nations1   
you might have been little else than the
 slave or the convenience of man1 and   
left to doubt whether any inheritance   
awaits you beyond the grave4  ,from     
these depths of debasement and          
wretchedness1 ,christianity has taken   
you1 and placed you on high1 to move1   
and shine1 and rejoice1 in the sphere   
for which the ,creator designed you4    
,not only has it made your condition as 
good as that of man1 but1 in a moral    
view1 in some respects superior to it4  
,how much1 then1 do you owe to ,christ6 
,to turn away from him with indifference
 or neglect1 what ingratitude is this6  
,how preposterous1 how base1 how        
unlovely1 is female impiety6 ,there was 

much sense in a remark made by an       
intelligent gentleman1 who1 although not
 pious himself1 said3 ,i cannot look    
with any complacency upon a woman who   
does not manifest gratitude and love to 
,jesus ,christ4 ,above all things1 ,i   
hate to see so unnatural an object as an
 irreligious woman4  ,such being the    
constitution and circumstances of woman1
 it is the manifest intention of ,god   
that she should be pre-eminent in moral 
excellence2 and1 through the influence  
of this1 take a glorious lead in the    
renovation of the world4 ,this she has  
to some extent ever done4 ,let all      
females of ,christian lands consider    
well their high calling1 their solemn   
responsibility1 and their glorious      
privilege4 ,while many of their sex have
 proved recreant to their trust1 and    
wasted life in vanity and in vice1      
others--an illustrious constellation1   
the holy and the good of ancient time1  
the mothers and the sisters in ,israel1 
the chief women1 not a few1 of apostolic

 times1 the bright throng1 that have    
since continued to come out from the    
world1 and tread in the steps of ,jesus1
 and lead on their fellow-beings to the 
kingdom of purity and joy--have proved  
to us that1 as woman was first to fall1 
so she is first to rise4  ,yes2 though  
it is not hers to amass wealth2 to      
aspire to secular office and power2 to  
shine in camps and armies2 to hurl the  
thunders of our navies1 and gather      
laurels from the ocean1 or to receive   
the vain incense offered to public and  
popular eloquence3 yet1 hers it is1 to  
be robed with the beauty of ,christ2 to 
shine in the honors of goodness2 to shed
 over the world the sweet and holy      
influences of peace1 virtue1 and        
religion2 to be adorned with those      
essential and imperishable beauties1    
those unearthly stars and diadems1 whose
 lustre will survive1 with              
ever-increasing brightness1 when all    
earthly glory will fade and be          
forgotten4 ,come1 then2 come to your    

high duty1 your glorious                
privilege--come1 and be blessed for     
ever6     ,,importance ,,of ,,religion  
,,to ,,woman4   ,there is nothing so    
adapted to the wants of woman as        
religion4 ,she has many trials1 and she 
therefore peculiarly needs support2     
religion is her asylum1 not only in     
heavy afflictions1 but in petty         
disquietudes4 ,these1 as they are more  
frequent1 are perhaps almost as         
harassing2 at least1 they equally need a
 sedative influence1 and religion is the
 anodyne4 ,for it is religion which1 by 
placing before her a better and more    
enduring happiness than this world can  
offer1 reconciles her to temporary      
privations2 and1 by acquainting her with
 the love of ,god1 leads her to rest    
securely upon his providence in present 
disappointment4 ,it inspires her with   
that true content1 which not only       
endures distress1 but is cheerful under 
it4  ,resignation is not1 as we are too 
apt to portray her1 beauty bowered in   

willows1 and bending over a sepulchral  
urn2 neither is she a tragic queen1     
pathetic only in her weeds4 ,she is an  
active1 as well as passive virtue2 an   
habitual1 not an occasional sentiment4  
,she should be as familiar to woman as  
her daily cross2 for acquiescence in the
 detail of ,providence is as much a     
duty1 as submission to its result2 and  
equanimity amid domestic irritations    
equally implies religious principle1 as 
fortitude under severer trials4 ,it was 
the remark of one1 who certainly was not
 disposed to care for trifles1 that it  
required as much grace to bear the      
breaking of a china cup1 as any of the  
graver distresses of life4  ,minor cares
 are indeed the province of woman2 minor
 annoyances her burden4 ,dullness1 bad  
temper1 mal-adroitness1 are to her the  
cause of a thousand petty rubs1 which   
too often spoil the euphony of a silver 
voice1 and discompose the symmetry of   
fair features4 ,but the confidence which
 reposes on divine affection1 and the   

charity which covers human frailty1 are 
the only specifics for impatience4      
,and1 if religion is such a blessing in 
the ordinary trials of life1 what a     
soothing balm it is in graver sorrows6  
,from these1 woman is by no means       
exempt2 on the contrary1 as her         
susceptibility is great1 afflictions    
press on her with peculiar heaviness4   
,there is sometimes a stillness in her  
grief which argues only its intensity1  
and it is this rankling wound which     
piety alone can heal4 ,nothing1 perhaps1
 is more affecting than woman's         
chastened sorrow4 ,her ties may be      
severed1 her fond hopes withered1 her   
young affections blighted1 yet peace may
 be in her breast1 and heaven in her    
eye4 ,if the business and turmoil of    
life brush away the tears of manly      
sorrows1 and scarcely leave time even   
for the indulgence of sympathy1 woman   
gathers strength in her solitary        
chamber1 to encounter and subdue her    
grief4 ,there she learns to look her    

sorrow in the face2 there she becomes   
familiar with its features2 there she   
communes with it1 as with a celestial   
messenger2 till at length she can almost
 welcome its presence1 and hail it as   
the harbinger of a brighter world4      
,religion is her only elevating         
principle4 ,it identifies itself with   
the movements of her heart and with the 
actions of her life1 spiritualizing the 
one and ennobling the other4 ,duties1   
however subordinate1 are to the         
religious woman never degrading2 their  
principle is their apology4 ,she does   
not live amidst the clouds1 or abandon  
herself to mystic excitement2 she is    
raised above the sordidness1 but not    
above the concerns1 of earth2 above its 
disquietudes1 but not above its cares4  
,religion is just what woman needs4     
,without it1 she is ever restless and   
unhappy2 ever wishing to be relieved    
from duty or from time4 ,she is either  
ambitious of display1 or greedy of      
pleasure1 or sinks into a listless      

apathy1 useless to others and unworthy  
of herself4 ,but when the light from    
heaven shines upon her path1 it invests 
every object with a reflected radiance4 
,duties1 occupations1 nay1 even trials1 
are seen through a bright medium2 and   
the sunshine which gilds her course on  
earth1 is but the dawning of a far      
clearer day4        99     99     99    
99     99     99   ,transcriber's ,note3
     ,the following words were          
inconsistently hyphenated3              
house-wife _/ housewife       time-piece
 _/ timepiece     ,other errors3        
,original         ,page          #aa    
,missing period after 'other'           
4444each other ,familiarity1 says4444   
#gb    ,missing period after 'it'       
4444could not help it ,she sang to      
,nurse4444         #abd    extra 'n' in 
the name ,fanny                         
4444cannot be said that ,fannny's       
health4444