,,/4 ,,?,r,,se ,,( ,,lisieux ,,! ,,/ory ,,( ,a ,,s\l 7,l',,hi/oire ,d',,une ,,me73 ,,! ,,autobiography ,,( ,,/4 ,,?,r,,se ,,( ,,lisieux ,,) ,,additional ,,writ+s ,,& ,,say+s ,,( ,,/4 ,,?,r,,se ,,note ,,to ,,?is ,,electronic ,,edition ,?is electronic edition ( ! autobiography ( ,/4 ,?rse ( ,lisieux 7,! ,/ory ( a ,s\l7 includes mu*1 b n all1 ( ! cont5t ( ,soeur ,?rse ( ,lisieux 7,london3 ,burns1 ,oates ,wa%b\rne1 #aiab2 #h? ed41 #aibb71 edit$ by ,rev4 ,t4,n4 ,taylor4 ,all ! translat$ writ+s & say+s ( ,/4 ,?rse conta9$ 9 t book are 9 ?is electronic edition1 includ+ ! autobiography z well z ,c\nsels & ,rem9isc5ces1 lett]s1 & select$ poems4 ,also includ$ are ! preface by ,c>d9al ,b\rne1 ! prologue relat+ ,?rse's p>5tage & bir?1 & ! epilogue describ+ h] f9al illness1 h] dea?1 & relat$ ev5ts4 ,n includ$ are ! illu/rations1 ! li/ ( illu/rations1 acc\nts ( favors attribut$ to ! int]cession ( ,/4 ,?rse1 docum5ts relat$ to h] beatification1 & "s o!r mat]ial n writt5 by h]4 ,footnotes h be5 re-numb]$ sequ5tially 9 ea* *apt]4 ,!y are pres5t$ at ! end ( ea* *apt]1 & "s h be5 slightly modifi$ = ease ( ref]5ce4 ,a few footnotes1 ref]r+ to page numb]s 9 ! orig9al1 h be5 modifi$ or omitt$4 ,citations to ! ,psalms1 _m ( :i* 7 numb]$ diff]5tly 9 ,ca?olic ,bibles ( ,/4 ,?rse's "t ?an !y commonly are today1 h ! new numb] 9 brackets next to ! old numb] f ! orig9al--e4g41 ,psalm #bbbc3a-d4 ,footnote numb]s are %[n 9 brackets1 e4g41 #a4 ,! orig9al page head]s1 page numb]+1 disclaim] ( any int5tion to anticipate ! judgm5t ( ! ,*ur* 9 call+ ,/4 ,?rse a sa9t be=e h] canonization1 & o!r extrane\s matt]1 :i* 7 deem$ suitable = a pr9t$ book 9 #aibb b n = an e-book 9 #bjje1 are n "h4 ,! ,fr5* oe ligature1 9 words su* z soeur1 is n available 9 ! /&>d ,,iso-#hhei-a "* set1 & obvi\sly is repres5t$ "h by ! two-lett] comb9ation oe4 ,italics are repres5t$ by und]scores at ! beg9n+ & end1 l ?is4 ,! fir/ ^w ( ea* *apt] is n set 9 all caps z x 0 9 ! pr9t$ book4 ,a few obvi\s typographical errors h be5 correct$1 ) ! *anges 9 brackets1 e4g41 she = ! 9 ,*apt] ,,ix4 ,all else1 includ+ capitalization1 punctuation1 gramm>1 & ,briti% spell+1 is int5d$ to reflect ! cont5t ( ! eigh? edition ( ,soeur ,?rse ( ,lisieux4 ,if x does n1 ! fault is t ( ! transcrib] 7me1 ,david ,mc,clamrock74 ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se ,,( ,,lisieux1 ,,! ,,little ,,fl[] ,,( ,,jesus ,a ,,new ,,& ,,complete ,,translation ,,( ,l',,hi/oire ,d',,une ,,me1 ,,) ,,an ,,acc\nt ,,( ,,"s ,,fav\rs ,,attribut$ ,,to ,,! ,,int]cession ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se ,,edit$ ,,by ,t4 ,n4 ,,taylor3 ,,prie/ ,,( ,,! ,,ar*diocese ,,( ,,glasg[3 ,,witness ,,be=e ,,! ,,tribunal ,,( ,,! ,,beatification ,,burns1 ,,oates ,,wa%b\rne ,,ld4 ,,tw5ty-,,eight ,,or*>d ,,/reet1 ,,london1 ,w41 ,,& ,,eight ,,to ,,t5 ,,pat]no/] ,,r[1 ,,london1 ,e4,c4 ,,nihil ,,ob/at ,,joannes ,n4 ,,/rassmai]1 ,s4,j4 ,c5sor ,deputatus ,,imprimatur ,,edmundus ,canonicus ,,surmont ,vic>ius ,g5]alis ,,we/mona/]ii1 die non ,decembris1 #aiab4 ,,cont5ts ,,d$ication ,,preface ,,by ,h4,e4 ,,c>d9al ,,b\rne ,,prologue3 ,,p>5tage ,,& ,,bir? ,,autobiography ,*apt] ,i4 ,e>lie/ ,memories ,,ii4 ,a ,ca?olic ,h\sehold ,,iii4 ,paul9e ,ent]s ! ,c>mel ,,iv4 ,fir/ ,communion & ,confirmation ,v4 ,vocation ( ,?rse ,,vi4 ,a ,pilgrimage to ,rome ,,vii4 ,! ,little ,fl[] ,ent]s ! ,c>mel ,,viii4 ,pr(ession ( ,soeur ,?rse ,,ix4 ,! ,night ( ! ,s\l ,x4 ,! ,new ,comm&m5t ,,xi4 ,a ,canticle ( ,love ,,epilogue3 ,a ,,victim ,,( ,,div9e ,,love ,,c\nsels ,,& ,,rem9isc5ces ,,lett]s ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se ,to ,cl9e ,to ,"m ,agnes ( ,jesus ,to ,si/] ,m>y ( ! ,sacr$ ,he>t ,to ,si/] ,frances ,t]esa ,to ,m>ie ,gur9 ,to ,jeanne ,gur9 ,to ,mission>ies ,,pray]s ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se ,h] ,act ( ,oblation ,a ,morn+ ,pray] ,act ( ,consecration to ! ,holy ,face ,pray] 9 ,hon\r ( ! ,holy ,*ild ,pray] to ! ,holy ,*ild ,pray] to ! ,holy ,face ,pray] 9 ,hon\r ( ,/4 ,joan ( ,arc ,pray] to ,obta9 ,humility ,,days ,,( ,,grace ,,select$ ,,poems ,my ,song ( ,to-day ,memories ,i ,?ir/ = ,love ,to ,scatt] ,fl[]s ,:y ,i ,love ,!e1 ,m>y ,,%[] ,,( ,,roses omitt$ ,,process ,,( ,,beatification omitt$ ,,lett]s ,,( ,,pius ,x ,,& ,,o!rs omitt$ ,,indulg5c$ ,,pray]s omitt$ ,,supplem5t omitt$ ,,?is ,,book ,,is ,,d$icat$ ,,to ,,! ,,s]vant ,,( ,,god1 ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se1 ,,9 ,,?anksgiv+ ,,= ,,graces ,,obta9$1 ,,& ,,to ,,h] ,,petite ,m,,re1 ,,"m ,,agnes ,,( ,,jesus1 ,,9 ,,grateful ,,memory ,,( ,,innum]able ,,k9dnesses ,,ext5d+ ,,ov] ,,_m ,,ye>s ,,preface ,z we become acqua9t$ ) ! hi/ories ( ^? 9 :om1 9 long succession1 ,god has be5 pleas$ to %[ =? examples ( hol9ess ( life1 x seems z if e phase ( human exi/5ce _h 9 ! hi/ory ( ! ,*ur* receiv$ its consecration z a p[] to br+ m5 ne>] to _! ,mak]4 ,b !re is no limit to ! types ( sanctity :i* ! ,creator is pleas$ to unfold be=e ,8 ,creatures4 ,to _m1 on read+ = ! fir/ "t ! /ory ( ,si/] ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus & ( ! ,holy ,face1 x came almo/ z a %ock to f9d a v y\?ful memb] ( an au/]e ,ord]1 /rictly retir$ f ! _w1 engag$ 9 hidd5 pray] & mortification1 appe>+ be=e u to reveal to ! :ole _w ! wond]s ( ! close intimacy ( fri5d%ip to :i* h] ,div9e ,sp\se _h be5 pleas$ to call h]4 ,c]ta9ly ! way by :i* ,soeur ,?rse 0 l$ is n ! normal life ( ,c>mel1 nor h]s ! mann] :]eby mo/ ,c>melites are call$ to accompli% ! wondr\s apo/olate ( int]cession to :i* _! lives are giv54 ,b no less c]ta9 is x t1 9 h] p>ticul> case1 h] "w = ,god & h] apo/olate 7 n to be conf9$ betwe5 ! walls ( h] religi\s home1 or to be limit$ by h] few ye>s on e>?4 ,9 ! fir/ place1 we "k t x 0 by ob$i5ce t ! record ( ,god's deal+s ) h] s\l 7 set d[n 9 writ+4 ,& aga91 ! long tale ( graces grant$ 9 su* /range pr(usion ?r\gh h] int]cession is pro( suffici5t t x 0 n )\t ,div9e p]mission & guidance t ! hi/ory ( h] special & peculi> vocation has become ! prop]ty ( all ,ca?olics 9 e l&4 ,x is = ,god to keep1 & = ,him to make kn[n ! secrets ( ,8 ,love = m54 ,& 9 ! case ( ,soeur ,?rse x has be5 ,8 ,w to divulge ,8 secrets 9 mo/ g5]\s consid]ation = our ne$s4 ,:at are ! hidd5 treasures :i* ,our ,div9e ,ma/] ?us reveals to u ?r\gh ,8 *os5 little s]vant8 ,x is ! old /ory ( simplicity 9 ,god's s]vice1 ( ! p]fect accompli%m5t ( small recurr+ duties1 ( tru/ful confid5ce 9 ,him :o made & has r$eem$ & sanctifi$ u4 ,humility1 self-effacem5t1 ob$i5ce1 hidd5ness1 unfalt]+ *>ity1 ) all ! self-control & con/ant ef=t t !y imply1 are writt5 on e page ( ! hi/ory ( ?is little ,sa9t4 ,&1 z we turn its pages1 ! lesson is borne 9 ^u our s\ls t !re is no sur] nor saf] way ( pleas+ ,our ,fa!r ,:o is 9 ,heav5 ?an by rema9+ ev] z little *ildr5 9 ,8 sight4 ,d\btless = _m ( h] cli5ts ^: he>ts are k9dl$ z !y read ?is book1 ,soeur ,?rse w obta91 z %e has done s (t5 9 ! pa/1 wond]ful gifts = heal? ( s\l & body4 ,b may %e w9 = all ( u )\t exception a deep & fruitful conviction ( ! un*ang+ tru?1 t unless we become z little *ildr5 9 ! do+ ( our ,heav5ly ,fa!r's ,w1 we _c ent] into our ,et]nal ,home4 ,,francis ,,c>d9al ,,b\rne1 ,ar*bi%op ( ,we/m9/]4 ,fea/ ( ! ,pres5tation ( ,our ,bless$ ,lady1 #aiab4 ,,prologue3 ,,! ,,p>5tage ,,bir? ,,( ,,m>ie ,,fran,,oise ,,?,r,,se ,,m>t9 ,9 ! mon? ( ,septemb]1 #ahdc1 a "y man ( tw5ty climb$ ! m\nta9 ( ! ,great ,/4 ,b]n>d4 ,8 eyes %one ) a holy en?usiasm z ! spl5d\r ( ! ,alps /irr$ to ! dep?s 8 responsive nature4 ,pres5tly1 accu/om$ z !y 7 to disc]n ,god's beauty 9 ! beauty ( ,8 h&iwork1 !y gli/5$ ) te>s4 ,he paus$ = a space1 !n1 cont9u+ 8 j\rney1 soon rea*$ ! celebrat$ mona/]y t l a beacon on ^? heights d>ts af> its beams ( fai? & magnific5t *>ity4 ,! ,prior1 /ruck by ! frank & op5 c\nt5ance ( 8 gue/1 welcom$ him ) m ?an wont$ hospitality4 ,l\is ,joseph ,/anislaus ,m>t9 0 ! pilgrim's "n4 ,he 0 born on ,augu/ #bb1 #ahbc1 at ,bordeaux1 :ile 8 fa!r1 a brave & dev\t soldi]1 0 capta9 9 ! g>rison !re4 ,god has pr$e/9$ ?is little "o = ,himself1 said ! sa9tly ,bi%op ( ,bordeaux on ! occasion ( 8 baptism1 & ev5ts h prov$ ! tru? ( 8 words4 ,f ?is t[n1 by ! banks ( ! ,g>onne1 8 p>5ts w5t to ,al5on 9 l[] ,norm&y1 & !re 9 _! new home1 z 9 _! old "o1 ,l\is 0 ! *]i%$ ,b5jam94 ,x 0 n ! lovel9ess ( ,swiss lakes & m\nta9s & skies t _h drawn ! travell] f di/ant ,al5on4 ,he came to ! mona/]y--& 8 j\rney 0 *iefly on foot--to consecrate 8 days to ,god4 ,on le>n+ 8 purpose ! ,prior que/ion$ him ^u 8 k ( ,lat91 only to discov] t ! "y aspirant _h n complet$ 8 c\rse ( /udies 9 t language4 ,i am inde$ sorry1 my *ild1 said ! v5]able monk1 s9ce ?is is an ess5tial condition1 b y mu/ n be di%e>t5$4 ,g back to y\r own c\ntry1 apply y\rself dilig5tly1 & :5 y h end$ y\r /udies we %all receive y ) op5 arms4 ,l\is 0 disappo9t$4 ,he set out = home--= exile he w\ld h said--b ere long he saw cle>ly t 8 life 0 to be d$icat$ to ,god 9 ano!r & equally fruitful way1 & t ! ,alp9e mona/]y 0 to be no?+ m to him ?an a sweet memory4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,a few ye>s aft] ! va9 que/ ( ,l\is ,m>t91 a simil> sc5e 0 enact$ 9 ,al5on itself4 ,accompani$ by h] "m1 ,zlie ,gur9--an attractive & pi\s girl--pres5t$ h]self at ! ,conv5t ( ! ,si/]s ( ,*>ity 9 ! hope ( ga9+ admission4 ,= ye>s x _h be5 h] desire to %>e ! ,si/]s' "w1 b ?is 0 n to be4 ,9 ! int]view t foll[$1 ! ,sup]ioress--guid$ by ! ,holy ,gho/--decid$ unhesitat+ly t ,zlie's vocation 0 n = ! religi\s life4 ,god want$ h] 9 ! _w1 & s %e return$ to h] p>5ts1 & to ! companion%ip ( h] eld] si/] & h] y\ng] bro!r4 ,%ortly aft]w>ds ! gates ( ! ,visitation ,conv5t at ,le ,mans clos$ ^u h] belov$ si/]1 & ,zlie's ?\ghts turn$ to ! ,sacram5t ( ,holy ,matrimony4 ,o my ,god--%e repeat$ con/antly-- s9ce ,i am unwor?y to be ,?y ,sp\se1 l my de> si/]1 ,i %all ent] ! m>ri$ /ate to fulfill ,?y ,holy ,w1 & ,i besee* ,!e to make me ! "m ( _m *ildr51 & to grant t all ( !m may be d$icat$ to ,!e4 ,god gave e> to h] pray]1 & ,8 ,f+] 0 visible 9 ! circum/ances :i* l$ to h] becom+ ! wife ( ,l\is ,m>t91 on ,july #ab1 #aheh1 9 ,al5on's lovely ,*ur* ( ,notre ,dame4 ,l ! *a/e ,tobias1 !y 7 jo9$ toge!r 9 matrimony--solely = ! love ( *ildr51 9 :om ,god's ,"n might be bless$ = ev] & ev]4 ,n9e :ite fl[]s bloom$ 9 ?is sacr$ g>d54 ,( ! n9e1 f\r 7 transplant$ to ,p>adise ere _! buds _h q unfold$1 :ile five 7 ga!r$ 9 ,god's wall$ g>d5s ^u e>?1 "o ent]+ ! ,visitation ,conv5t at ,ca51 ! o!rs ! ,c>mel ( ,lisieux4 ,f ! cradle all 7 d$icat$ to ,m>y ,immaculate1 & all receiv$ h] "n3 ,m>ie ,l\ise1 ,m>ie ,paul9e1 ,m>ie ,lonie1 ,m>ie ,hlne1 :o di$ at ! age ( f\r & a half1 ,m>ie ,joseph ,l\is1 ,m>ie ,joseph ,jean ,bapti/e1 ,m>ie ,cl9e1 ,m>ie ,mlanie ,!rse1 :o di$ :5 ?ree mon?s old1 & la/ly1 ,m>ie ,franoise ,?rse4 ,! two boys 7 ! fruit ( pray]s & te>s4 ,aft] ! bir? ( ! f\r eld] girls1 _! p>5ts entreat$ ,/4 ,joseph to obta9 = !m ! fav\r ( a son :o %\ld become a prie/ & a mission>y4 ,m>ie ,joseph soon 0 giv5 !m1 & 8 pretty ways appeal$ to all he>ts1 b only five mon?s _h run _! c\rse :5 ,heav5 dem&$ :at x _h l5t4 ,!n foll[$ m urg5t nov5as4 ,! gr&eur ( ! ,prie/hood1 glori\s ^u e>?1 ineffable 9 et]nity1 0 s well und]/ood by ^? ,*ri/ian p>5ts1 t _! he>ts covet$ x mo/ de>ly4 ,at all co/s ! family mu/ h a ,prie/ ( ! ,"l1 "o :o w\ld be an apo/le1 p]adv5ture a m>tyr4 ,b1 ! ?\ghts ( ! ,"l are n our ?\ghts1 ,8 ways are n our ways4 ,ano!r little ,joseph 0 born1 & ) him hope once aga9 grew /rong4 ,alas6 ,n9e mon?s _h sc>cely pass$ :5 he1 too1 fl$ f ?is _w & jo9$ 8 angel bro!r4 ,!y did n ask aga94 ,yet1 c\ld ! veil ( ! future h be5 lift$1 _! heavy he>ts w\ld1 ( a surety1 h be5 com=t$4 ,a *ild 0 to be v\*saf$ !m :o w\ld be a h]ald ( ,div9e love1 n to ,*9a alone1 b to all ! ends ( ! e>?4 ,nay1 !y !mselves 7 de/9$ to %9e z apo/les1 & we read on "o ( ! fir/ pages ( ! ,portuguese edition ( ! ,autobiography1 ^! significant words ( an em95t ,jesuit3 ,to ! ,sacr$ ,memory ( ,l\is ,joseph ,/anislaus ,m>t9 & ( ,zlie ,gur91 ! bless$ p>5ts ( ,si/] ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus1 = an example to all ,*ri/ian p>5ts4 ,!y little dream$ ( ?is future apo/olate1 nev]!less !y made ready _! s\ls day by day to be ,god's own in/rum5ts 9 ,god's good "t4 ,) mo/ lov+ resignation !y greet$ ! _m crosses :i* ! ,"l laid ^u !m--! ,"l ^: t5d] "n ( ,fa!r is true/ 9 ! d>k h\r ( trial4 ,e morn+ saw !m at ,mass2 toge!r !y knelt at ! ,holy ,table4 ,!y /rictly obs]v$ ! fa/s & ab/95ces ( ! ,*ur*1 kept ,sunday z a day ( complete re/ f "w 9 spite ( ! remon/rance ( fri5ds1 & f\nd 9 pi\s read+ _! mo/ delightful recreation4 ,!y pray$ 9 common--aft] ! t\*+ example ( ,capta9 ,m>t91 ^: dev\t way ( repeat+ ! ,our ,fa!r br\ght te>s to all eyes4 ,?us ! great ,*ri/ian virtues fl\ri%$ 9 _! home4 ,weal? did n br+ luxury 9 its tra91 & a /rict simplicity 0 inv>iably obs]v$4 ,h[ mi/ak5 are ! great majority ( m56 ,madame ,m>t9 us$ (t5 to say4 ,if !y are ri*1 !y at once desire hon\rs2 & if ^! are obta9$1 !y are /ill unhappy2 = nev] c t he>t be satisfi$ :i* seeks any?+ b ,god4 ,h] :ole ambition z a "m 0 direct$ to ,heav54 ,f\r ( my *ildr5 are already well settl$ 9 life1 %e once wrote2 & ! o!rs w g likewise to t ,heav5ly ,k+dom--enri*$ ) great] m]it because ! combat w h be5 m prolong$4 ,*>ity 9 all its =ms 0 a natural outlet to ! piety ( ^! simple he>ts4 ,husb& & wife set aside ea* ye> a consid]able portion ( _! e>n+s = ! ,propagation ( ! ,fai?2 !y reliev$ poor p]sons 9 di/ress1 & m9i/]$ to !m ) _! own h&s4 ,on "o occasion ,monsieur ,m>t91 l a good ,sam>itan1 0 se5 to raise a drunk5 man f ! gr\nd 9 a busy ?or\ghf>e1 take 8 bag ( tools1 support him on 8 arm1 & lead him home4 ,ano!r "t :5 he saw1 9 a railway /ation1 a poor & />v+ epileptic )\t ! means to return to 8 di/ant home1 he 0 s t\*$ ) pity t he took (f 8 hat &1 plac+ 9 x an alms1 proce$$ to beg f ! pass5g]s on behalf ( ! suff]]4 ,money p\r$ 91 & x 0 ) a he>t brimm+ ov] ) gratitude t ! sick man bless$ 8 b5efactor4 ,nev] did he all[ ! meannesses ( human respect to degrade 8 ,*ri/ian dignity4 ,9 :atev] company he might be1 he always salut$ ! ,bless$ ,sacram5t :5 pass+ a ,*ur*2 & he nev] met a prie/ )\t pay+ him a m>k ( respect4 ,a ^w f 8 lips suffic$ to sil5ce :osoev] d>$ blaspheme 9 8 pres5ce4 ,9 rew>d = 8 virtues1 ,god %[]$ ev5 temporal bless+s on ,8 fai?ful s]vant4 ,9 #ahga he 0 able to give up 8 bus9ess z a jewell]1 & retire to a h\se 9 ! ,rue ,/4 ,blaise4 ,! mak+ ( po9t-lace1 h[ev]1 begun by ,madame ,m>t91 0 /ill c>ri$ on4 ,9 t h\se ! ,little ,fl[] ( ,jesus fir/ saw ! sun%9e4 ,aga9 & aga91 9 ! pages ( h] ,autobiography1 %e calls h]self by ?is mode/ "n ( ! ,little ,fl[]1 emblematic ( h] humility1 h] purity1 h] simplicity1 & x may be add$1 ( ! poetry ( h] s\l4 ,! read] w le>n 9 ! ,epilogue h[ x 0 also us$ by "o ( h] fav\rite m>tyr-sa9ts--! n[ ,bless$ ,?ophane ,vn>d4 ,on ! manuscript ( h] ,autobiography %e set ! title3 ,! ,/ory ( ! ,spr+time ( a little :ite ,fl[]1 & 9 tru? su* x 01 = long ere ! rig\rs ( life's w9t] came r\nd1 ! ,fl[] 0 blossom+ 9 ,p>adise4 ,x 01 h[ev]1 9 mid-w9t]1 ,janu>y #b1 #ahgc1 t ?is n9? *ild ( ,l\is ,m>t9 & ,zlie ,gur9 0 born4 ,m>ie & ,paul9e 7 at home = ! ,*ri/mas holidays f ! ,visitation ,conv5t at ,le ,mans1 & ?\gh !re 01 x is true1 a slight disappo9tm5t t ! future prie/ 0 /ill d5i$ !m1 x quickly pass$1 & ! little "o 0 reg>d$ z a special gift f ,heav54 ,lat] on1 h] belov$ ,fa!r delight$ 9 call+ h] 8 ,little ,que51 add+ at times ! high-s\nd+ titles--,( ,france & ,nav>re4 ,! ,little ,que5 0 inde$ well receiv$ t w9t]'s morn+1 & 9 ! c\rse ( ! day a poor waif rang timidly at ! door ( ! happy home1 & pres5t$ a pap] be>+ ! foll[+ simple /anza3 ,smile & swiftly gr[2 ,all beckons !e to joy1 ,sweet love1 & t5d]e/ c>e4 ,smile gladly at ! dawn1 ,bud ( an h\r6--= ?\ ,%alt be a /ately rose4 ,x 0 a *>m+ prophecy1 = ! bud unfold$ its petals & became a rose--a rose ( love--b n = long1 = ! space ( a morn6 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,on ,janu>y #d1 %e 0 c>ri$ to ! ,*ur* ( ,notre ,dame to receive ! ,sacram5t ( ,baptism2 h] elde/ si/]1 ,m>ie1 0 h] godmo!r1 & %e 0 giv5 ! "n ( ,m>ie ,franoise ,?rse4#a ,all 0 joy at fir/1 b soon ! t5d] bud droop$ on its delicate /em3 little hope 0 held out--x mu/ )] & die4 ,y mu/ pray to ,/4 ,francis de ,sales1 wrote h] aunt f ! conv5t at ,le ,mans1 & y mu/ promise1 if ! *ild recov]s1 to call h] by h] second "n1 ,frances4 ,?is 0 a sword-?ru/ = ! ,"m4 ,lean+ ov] ! cradle ( h] ,?rse1 %e await$ ! com+ ( ! end1 say+3 ,only :5 ! la/ hope has gone1 w ,i promise to call h] ,frances4 ,! g5tle ,/4 ,francis waiv$ 8 claim 9 fav\r ( ! great ,re=m] ( ! ,c>melite ,ord]3 ! *ild recov]$1 & s reta9$ h] sweet "n ( ,?rse4 ,sorr[1 h[ev]1 0 mix$ ) ! ,"m's joy1 :5 x became necess>y to s5d ! babe to a fo/]-"m 9 ! c\ntry4 ,!re ! little rose-bud grew 9 beauty1 & aft] "s mon?s _h ga9$ /r5g? suffici5t to all[ ( h] be+ br\ght back to ,al5on4 ,h] memory ( ?is %ort b happy "t sp5t ) h] sa9t$ ,"m 9 ! ,rue ,/4 ,blaise 0 extraord9>ily vivid4 ,to-day a tablet on ! balcony ( ,no4 #db in=ms ! pass]s-by t "h 0 born a c]ta9 ,c>melite1 by "n1 ,si/] ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus & ! ,holy ,face4 ,fifte5 ye>s h gone s9ce ! meet+ 9 ,heav5 ( ,madame ,m>t9 & h] ,c>melite *ild1 & if ! pilgrimage to :]e ! ,little ,fl[] fir/ saw ! light ( day1 be n s l>ge z t to ! grave :]e h] rema9s await _! glori\s resurrection1 x may nev]!less be numb]$ 9 ?\s&s4 ,& to ! ,engli%-speak+ pilgrim !re is an add$ pleasure 9 ! fact t h] mo/ notable conv]t1 ! fir/ m9i/] ( ! ,unit$ ,free ,*ur* ( ,scotl& to ent] ! ,true ,fold1 p]=ms1 ) 8 conv]t wife1 ! c\rte\s duties ( ho/4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,x w n be amiss to say a brief ^w "h on ! bro!r & si/] ( ,madame ,m>t94 ,h] si/]--9 religion1 ,si/] ,m>ie ,dosi!a--l$ a life s holy at ,le ,mans t %e 0 cit$ by ,dom ,gurang]1 p]haps ! mo/ di/+ui%$ ,b5$ict9e ( ! n9ete5? c5tury1 z ! model ( a p]fect nun4 ,by h] own confession1 %e _h nev] be5 guilty f e>lie/ *ildhood ( ! smalle/ delib]ate fault4 ,%e di$ on ,febru>y #bd1 #ahgg4 ,x 0 9 ! conv5t made fragrant by su* hol9ess t h] niece ,paul9e ,m>t91 eld] si/] & little "m ( ,?rse1 & = five ye>s h] ,prioress at ! ,c>mel1 receiv$ h] education4 ,& if ! ,little ,fl[] may h imbib$ ! liturgical _s f h] tea*]s1 ! daught]s ( ,/4 ,b5$ict 9 ,lisieux1 s t %e c\ld say be=e h] dea?3 ,i d n ?9k x is possible = anyone to h desir$ m ?an ,i to assi/ prop]ly at *oir & to recite p]fectly ! ,div9e ,(fice--may x n be to ! influ5ces f ,le ,mans t may be trac$ some?+ ( ! honey-sweet _s ( ,/4 ,francis de ,sales :i* p]vades ! pages ( ! ,autobiography8 ,) ! bro!r ( ,zlie ,gur9 ! read] w make acqua9tance 9 ! n>rative ( ,?rse4 ,he 0 a *emi/ 9 ,lisieux1 & x 0 !re 8 daught] ,jeanne ,gur9 m>ri$ ,dr4 ,la ,nele & 8 y\ng] *ild ,m>ie ent]$ ! ,c>mel4 ,our =eign mission>ies _h a w>m fri5d 9 ! uncle ( ,?rse--= 8 *>ities he 0 made godfa!r to an ,african ,k+2 & to ! ,ca?olic ,press--t home mission>y--he 0 ev] mo/ devot$4 ,f\nd]1 at ,lisieux1 ( ! ,nocturnal ,adoration ( ! ,bless$ ,sacram5t1 & a zeal\s memb] ( ! ,society ( ,/4 ,v9c5t de ,paul1 he 0 call$ to 8 abundant rew>d on ,septemb] #bh1 #aiji4 ,v]ily ! lamp ( fai? is n ext9ct 9 ! l& ( ! ,norman4 ,! ,fa!r ( ,?rse1 aft] ! dea? ( 8 wife1 likewise made 8 home 9 ! delightful t[n :i* lies amid ! beautiful apple or*>ds ( ! valley ( ! ,t\ques4 ,lisieux is deeply int]e/+ by reason ( its f9e old *ur*es ( ,/4 ,jacques & ,/4 ,pi]re1 & its wond]ful specim5s ( qua9t h\ses1 "s ( :i* date f ! twelf? c5tury4 ,9 matt]s ( fai? x is nei!r f]v5t nor ho/ile1 & 9 #ahgg its inhabitants little ?\ght t ?r\gh _! new citiz51 ,m>ie ,franoise ,?rse ,m>t91 _! t[n w\ld be r5d]$ immortal4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,! cell at ,lisieux rem9ds u ( ! cell ( ! ,bless$ ,gabriel at ,isola4 ,!re is ! same ev5 t5or ( way1 ! same magnificant fidelity 9 little ?+s1 ! same flames ( div9e *>ity1 consum+ b conceal$4 ,naz>e?1 ) ! simplicity ( its ,*ild1 & ! calm abysmal love ( ,m>y & ,joseph--,naz>e?1 adorable b imitable1 gives ! key to h] _s1 & h] ,autobiography does b repeat ! lessons ( ! ?irty hidd5 ye>s4#b ,& x repeats !m ) an unrivall$ *>m4 ,?is ma/] ( asceticism1 writes a biograph]#c ( ,/4 ,ignatius ,loyola1 lov$ ! g>d5 & lov$ ! fl[]s4 ,9 ! balcony ( 8 /udy he sat gaz+ on ! />s3 x 0 !n ,la9ez he>d him say3 ',oh1 h[ e>? gr[s base to me :5 ,i look on ,heav56' 4 4 4 ,! l imag9ative /ra91 s scorn$ ( our petty day1 inh]$ 9 all ! l(ty s\ls ( t age4 ,ev5 ! ,sa9ts ( our day speak a less radiant language3 & sanctity %[s '%orn ( its rays' ?r\gh ! black fog ( univ]sal utilit>ianism1 ! mat]iality :i* m5 h drawn into ! v lungs ( _! s\ls4 ,?is is n true ( ! sa9t$ au?oress ( ! *apt]s t foll[--less radiant1 9 ! m$ium ( a translation4 ,9 h] own inimitable pages1 z 9 ^? ( a ,campion or an ,ignatius1 a ,t]esa ( ,avila1 or a ,john ( ! ,cross--! ,_s ( ,poetry is ! h&maid5 ( ,hol9ess4 ,?is new lov] ( fl[]s & /ud5t ( ! />s1 ?is /rew] ( roses1 has uplift$ a million he>ts f ! base e>? & black fog to ! v ?rone ( ,god1 & h] mission is z yet b begun4 ,! p5 ( ,soeur ,?rse h]self mu/ n[ take up ! n>rative4 ,x w d s 9 words t d n m]ely tell ( love b set ! he>t on fire1 & at ! same "t lay b>e ! work+s ( ,god 9 a s\l t s9ce ! age ( ?ree nev] refus$ ! ,good ,god any?+4 ,! writ+ ( ?is ,autobiography 0 an act ( ob$i5ce1 & ! ,prioress :o impos$ ! task s\ght1 9 all simplicity1 h] own p]sonal edification4 ,b ! fragrance ( its pages 0 su* t %e 0 advis$ to publi% !m to ! _w4 ,%e did s 9 #ahii "u ! title ( ,l',hi/oire d'une me4 ,an ,engli% v]sion by ,m4 ,h4 ,dziewicki appe>$ 9 #aija4 ,?is new translation relates m fully ! /ory ( ! *ildhood1 girlhood1 & brief conv5t days ( ,soeur ,?rse4 ,x tells ( h] ,roses1 & sets =? aga91 9 our _w-wide tongue1 h] _w-wide embassy--! ev] anci5t message ( ,god's ,m]ciful ,love1 ! ev] new way to ,him ( confid5ce & self-surr5d]4 ,! ,editor4 #a ,! baptismal entry1 ) its num]\s signatures1 is %[n to visitors1 & a tablet 9 ! bapti/ry ( ! beautiful ,go?ic *ur* tells ! pilgrim t "h ! ,little ,que5 0 made a *ild ( ,god4 ,ed4 #b ,z ,little ,*ildr53 ! abridg$ life ( ,soeur ,?rse4 ,publi%$ at ! ,orphans' ,press1 ,ro*dale4 #c ,francis ,?ompson4 ,,! ,,autobiography ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se ,,( ,,lisieux1 ,,entitl$ ,,by ,,h]self3 ,,! ,,/ory ,,( ,,! ,,spr+time ,,( ,a ,,little ,,:ite ,,fl[] ,,*apt] ,i ,,e>lie/ ,,memories ,x is to y1 de> ,"m1 t ,i am ab\t to confide ! /ory ( my s\l4 ,:5 y ask$ me to write x1 ,i fe>$ ! task might unsettle me1 b s9ce !n ,our ,"l has deign$ to make me und]/& t by simple ob$i5ce ,i %all please ,him be/4 ,i beg9 !re=e to s+ :at mu/ be my et]nal song3 ! ,m]cies ( ! ,"l4#a ,be=e sett+ ab\t my task ,i knelt be=e ! /atue ( ,our ,lady :i* _h giv5 my family s _m pro(s ( ,our ,heav5ly ,"m's lov+ c>e4#b ,z ,i knelt ,i begg$ ( t de> ,"m to guide my h&1 & ?us ensure t only :at 0 pleas+ to h] %\ld f9d place "h4 ,!n op5+ ! ,gospels1 my eyes fell on ^! words3 ,jesus1 go+ up into a m\nta91 call$ unto ,him :om ,he w\ld ,himself4#c ,!y ?rew a cle> light ^u ! my/]y ( my vocation & ( my entire life1 & above all ^u ! fav\rs :i* ,our ,"l has grant$ to my s\l4 ,he does n call ^? :o are wor?y1 b ^? :om ,he w4 ,z ,/4 ,paul says3 ,god w h m]cy on :om ,he w h m]cy4#d ,s !n x is n ( him t wille?1 nor ( him t runne?1 b ( ,god t %[e? m]cy4#e ,i (t5 ask$ myself :y ,god _h pref]5ces1 :y all s\ls did n receive an equal measure ( grace4 ,i 0 fill$ ) wond] :5 ,i saw extraord9>y fav\rs %[]$ on great s9n]s l ,/4 ,paul1 ,/4 ,augu/9e1 ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal51 & _m o!rs1 :om ,he =c$1 s to speak1 to receive ,8 grace4 ,9 read+ ! lives ( ! ,sa9ts ,i 0 surpris$ to see t !re 7 c]ta9 privileg$ s\ls1 :om ,our ,"l fav\r$ f ! cradle to ! grave1 all[+ no ob/acle 9 _! pa? :i* might keep !m f m\nt+ t[>ds ,him1 p]mitt+ no s9 to soil ! spotless brightness ( _! baptismal robe4 ,& aga9 x puzzl$ me :y s _m poor savages %\ld die )\t hav+ ev5 he>d ! "n ( ,god4 ,our ,"l has deign$ to expla9 ?is my/]y to me4 ,he %[$ me ! book ( nature1 & ,i und]/ood t e fl[] creat$ by ,him is beautiful1 t ! brilliance ( ! rose & ! :it5ess ( ! lily d n less5 ! p]fume ( ! violet or ! sweet simplicity ( ! daisy4 ,i und]/ood t if all ! l[ly fl[]s wi%$ to be roses1 nature w\ld lose its spr+tide beauty1 & ! fields w\ld no long] be enamell$ ) lovely hues4 ,& s x is 9 ! _w ( s\ls1 ,our ,"l's liv+ g>d54 ,he has be5 pleas$ to create great ,sa9ts :o may be comp>$ to ! lily & ! rose1 b ,he has also creat$ less] ones1 :o mu/ be cont5t to be daisies or simple violets fl[]+ at ,8 ,feet1 & ^: mission x is to gladd5 ,8 ,div9e ,eyes :5 ,he deigns to look d[n on !m4 ,& ! m gladly !y d ,8 ,w ! great] is _! p]fection4 ,i und]/ood ?is also1 t ,god's ,love is made manife/ z well 9 a simple s\l :i* does n resi/ ,8 grace z 9 "o m highly end[$4 ,9 fact1 ! *>act]i/ic ( love be+ self-abasem5t1 if all s\ls resembl$ ! holy ,doctors :o h illum9at$ ! ,*ur*1 x seems t ,god 9 com+ to !m w\ld n /oop l[ en\gh4 ,b ,he has creat$ ! little *ild1 :o kn[s no?+ & c b utt] feeble cries1 & ! poor savage :o has only ! natural law to guide him1 & x is to _! he>ts t ,he deigns to /oop4 ,^! are ! field fl[]s ^: simplicity *>ms ,him2 & by ,8 condesc5sion to !m ,our ,savi\r %[s ,8 inf9ite greatness4 ,z ! sun %9es bo? on ! c$> & on ! fl[]et1 s ! ,div9e ,sun illum9es e s\l1 great & small1 & all correspond to ,8 c>e--j z 9 nature ! seasons are s dispos$ t on ! appo9t$ day ! humble/ daisy %all unfold its petals4 ,y w wond]1 de> ,"m1 to :at all ?is is lead+1 = till n[ ,i h said no?+ t s\nds l ! /ory ( my life2 b did y n tell me to write q freely :atev] came into my m9d8 ,s1 x w n be my life prop]ly speak+1 t y w f9d 9 ^! pages1 b my ?\ghts ab\t ! graces :i* x has pleas$ ,our ,"l to be/[ on me4 ,i am n[ at a "t ( life :5 ,i c look back on ! pa/1 = my s\l has be5 ref9$ 9 ! crucible ( int]ior & ext]ior trials4 ,n[1 l a fl[] aft] ! /orm1 ,i c raise my head & see t ! words ( ! ,psalm are realis$ 9 me3 ,! ,"l is my ,%eph]d & ,i %all want no?+4 ,he ha? set me 9 a place ( pa/ure4 ,he ha? br\ght me up on ! wat] ( refre%m5t4 ,he ha? conv]t$ my s\l4 ,he ha? l$ me on ! pa?s ( ju/ice = ,8 own ,"n's sake4 ,= ?\gh ,i %\ld walk 9 ! mid/ ( ! %ad[ ( dea?1 ,i w fe> no evils = ,?\ are ) me4#f ,yes1 to me ,our ,"l has always be5 compassionate & m]ciful1 long-suff]+ & pl5te\s 9 m]cy4#g ,& s x gives me great joy1 de> ,"m1 to come to y & s+ ,8 unspeakable m]cies4 ,x is = y alone t ,i write ! /ory ( ! little fl[] ga!r$ by ,jesus4 ,?is ?\ght w help me to speak freely1 )\t tr\bl+ ei!r ab\t /yle or ab\t ! _m digressions t ,i %all make2 = a ,"m's he>t always und]/&s h] *ild1 ev5 :5 x c only lisp1 & s ,i am sure ( be+ und]/ood & my mean+ appreciat$4 ,if a little fl[] c\ld speak1 x seems to me t x w\ld tell u q simply all t ,god has done = x1 )\t hid+ any ( its gifts4 ,x w\ld n1 "u ! pretext ( humility1 say t x 0 n pretty1 or t x _h n a sweet sc5t1 t ! sun _h )]$ its petals1 or ! /orm bruis$ its /em1 if x knew t su* 7 n ! case4 ,! ,little ,fl[]1 t n[ tells h] tale1 rejoic$ 9 hav+ to publi% ! :olly undes]v$ fav\rs be/[$ ^u h] by ,our ,"l4 ,%e kn[s t %e _h no?+ 9 h]self wor?y ( attract+ ,him3 ,8 ,m]cy alone %[]$ bless+s on h]4 ,he all[$ h] to gr[ 9 holy soil enri*$ ) ! od\r ( purity1 & prec$$ by eight lilies ( %9+ :it5ess4 ,9 ,8 ,love ,he will$ to pres]ve h] f ! poison$ brea? ( ! _w--h>dly _h h] petals unfold$ :5 ?is good ,ma/] transplant$ h] to ! m\nta9 ( ,c>mel1 ,our ,lady's *os5 g>d54 ,& n[1 de> ,"m1 hav+ summ$ up 9 a few words all t ,god's goodness has done = me1 ,i w relate 9 detail ! /ory ( my *ildhood4 ,i "k t1 ?\gh to o!rs x may seem we>isome1 y\r mo!rly he>t w f9d pleasure 9 x4 ,9 ! /ory ( my s\l1 up to ! "t ( my entry into ! ,c>mel1 !re are ?ree cle>ly m>k$ p]iods3 ! fir/1 9 spite ( its %ortness1 is by no means ! lea/ ri* 9 memories4 ,x ext5ds f ! dawn ( reason to ! dea? ( my de>ly lov$ ,"m2 9 o!r words1 till ,i 0 f\r ye>s & eight mon?s old4 ,god1 9 ,8 goodness1 did me ! fav\r ( awak5+ my intellig5ce v e>ly1 & ,he has impr9t$ ! recollections ( my *ildhood s deeply 9 my memory t pa/ ev5ts seem to h happ5$ b ye/]day4 ,)\t d\bt ,he wi%$ to make me "k & appreciate ! ,"m ,he _h giv5 me4 ,alas6 ,8 ,div9e ,h& soon took h] f me to cr[n h] 9 ,heav54 ,all my life x has pleas$ ,him to surr\nd me ) affection4 ,my fir/ recollections are ( lov+ smiles & t5d] c>esses2 b if ,he made o!rs love me s mu*1 ,he made me love !m too1 = ,i 0 ( an affectionate nature4 ,y c h>dly imag9e h[ mu* ,i lov$ my ,fa!r & ,"m1 &1 be+ v demon/rative1 ,i %[$ my love 9 a ?\s& little ways1 ?\gh ! means ,i employ$ make me smile n[ :5 ,i ?9k ( !m4 ,de> ,"m1 y h giv5 me ! lett]s :i* my ,"m wrote at ?is "t to ,paul9e1 :o 0 at s*ool at ! ,visitation ,conv5t at ,le ,mans4 ,i rememb] p]fectly ! ev5ts !y ref] to1 b x w be easi] = me simply to quote "s passages1 ?\gh ^! *>m+ lett]s1 inspir$ by a ,"m's love1 are too (t5 full ( my praises4 ,9 pro( ( :at ,i h said ab\t my way ( %[+ affection = my p>5ts1 "h is an example3 ,baby is ! de>e/ little rogue2 %e comes to kiss me1 & at ! same "t wi%es me to die4 ',oh1 h[ ,i wi% y w\ld die1 de> ,mamma1' %e said1 & :5 %e 0 scold$ %e 0 q a/oni%$1 & answ]$3 ',b ,i want y to g to ,heav51 & y say we mu/ die to g !re'2 & 9 h] outbur/ ( affection = h] ,fa!r %e wi%es him to die too4 ,! de> little ?+ w h>dly leave me1 %e foll[s me ev]y:]e1 b likes go+ into ! g>d5 be/2 :5 ,i am n !re %e refuses to /ay1 & cries s mu* t !y are oblig$ to br+ h] back4 ,%e w n ev5 g up/airs alone )\t call+ me at ea* /ep1 ',mamma6 ,mamma6' & if ,i =get to answ] ',yes1 d>l+6' %e waits :]e %e is1 & w n move4 ,i 0 ne>ly ?ree ye>s old :5 my ,"m wrote3 ,little ,?rse ask$ me ! o!r day if %e w\ld g to ,heav54 ',yes1 if y are good1' ,i told h]4 ',oh1 ,mamma1' %e answ]$1 '!n if ,i am n good1 %all ,i g to ,hell8 ,well1 y "k :at ,i w d--,i %all fly to y 9 ,heav51 & y w hold me tight 9 y\r arms1 & h[ c\ld ,god take me away !n8' ,i saw t %e 0 conv9c$ t ,god c\ld d no?+ to h] if %e hid h]self 9 my arms4 ,m>ie loves h] little si/] v mu*2 inde$ %e is a *ild :o delights u all4 ,%e is extraord9>ily outspok51 & x is *>m+ to see h] run aft] me to confess h] *ildi% faults3 ',mamma1 ,i h pu%$ ,cl9e2 ,i slapp$ h] once1 b ,i'll n d x aga94' ,! mom5t %e has done any?+ mis*iev\s1 ev]yone mu/ "k4 ,ye/]day1 )\t mean+ to d s1 %e tore (f a small piece ( wall pap]2 y w\ld h be5 sorry = h]--%e want$ to tell h] fa!r imm$iately4 ,:5 he came home f\r h\rs lat]1 ev]yone else _h =gott5 ab\t x1 b %e ran at once to ,m>ie say+3 ',tell ,papa t ,i tore ! pap]4' ,%e wait$ !re l a crim9al = s5t5ce2 b %e ?9ks %e is m easily =giv5 if %e accuses h]self4 ,papa's "n fills me ) _m happy memories4 ,mamma laugh+ly said he always did :atev] ,i want$1 b he answ]$3 ,well1 :y n8 ,%e is ! ,que56 ,!n he w\ld lift me on to 8 %\ld]1 & c>ess me 9 all sorts ( ways4 ,yet ,i _c say t he spoilt me4 ,i rememb] "o day :ile ,i 0 sw++ he call$ out z he pass$3 ,come & kiss me1 little ,que54 ,contr>y to my usual cu/om1 ,i w\ld n /ir1 & answ]$ p]tly3 ,y mu/ come = x1 ,papa4 ,he refus$ q rightly1 & w5t away4 ,m>ie 0 !re & scold$ me1 say+3 ,h[ naughty to answ] ,papa l t6 ,h] repro( took effect2 ,i got (f ! sw+ at once1 & ! :ole h\se res\nd$ ) my cries4 ,i hurri$ up/airs1 n wait+ ?is "t to call ,mamma at ea* /ep2 my "o ?\ght 0 to f9d ,papa & make my peace ) him4 ,i ne$ n tell y t ?is 0 soon done4 ,i c\ld n be> to ?9k ,i _h griev$ my belov$ p>5ts1 & ,i ackn[l$g$ my faults in/antly1 z ?is little anecdote1 relat$ by my ,"m1 w %[3 ,"o morn+ be=e go+ d[n/airs ,i want$ to kiss ,?rse2 %e seem$ to be fa/ asleep1 & ,i did n l to wake h]1 b ,m>ie said3 ',mamma1 ,i am sure %e is only pret5d+4' ,s ,i b5t d[n to kiss h] =ehead1 & imm$iately %e hid h]self "u ! clo!s1 say+ 9 ! tone ( a spoilt *ild3 ',i don't want anyone to look at me4' ,i 0 n pleas$ ) h]1 & told h] s4 ,a m9ute or two aft]w>ds ,i he>d h] cry+1 & 0 surpris$ to see h] by my side4 ,%e _h got out ( h] cot by h]self1 & _h come d[n/airs ) b>e feet1 /umbl+ ov] h] long nightdress4 ,h] little face 0 wet ) te>s3 ',mamma1' %e said1 ?r[+ h]self on my knee1 ',i am sorry = be+ naughty--=give me6' ,p>don 0 quickly grant$2 ,i took ! little angel 9 my arms & press$ h] to my he>t1 smo!r+ h] ) kisses4 ,i rememb] also my great affection = my elde/ si/] ,m>ie1 :o _h j left s*ool4 ,)\t seem+ to d s1 ,i took 9 all t ,i saw & he>d1 & ,i ?9k t ,i reflect$ on ?+s !n z ,i d n[4 ,i li/5$ att5tively :ile %e taught ,cl9e1 & 0 v good & ob$i5t1 s z to obta9 ! privilege ( be+ all[$ 9 ! room dur+ lessons4 ,%e gave me _m trifl+ pres5ts :i* pleas$ me greatly4 ,i 0 pr\d ( my two big si/]s2 b z ,paul9e seem$ s f> away f u1 ,i ?\ght ( h] all day long4 ,:5 ,i 0 only j le>n+ to talk1 & ,mamma ask$3 ,:at are y ?9k+ ab\t8 my answ] inv>iably 03 ,paul9e4 ,sometimes ,i he>d p say+ t ,paul9e w\ld be a nun1 &1 )\t q kn[+ :at x meant1 ,i ?\ght3 ,i w be a nun too4 ,?is is "o ( my fir/ recollections1 & ,i h nev] *ang$ my m9d2 s x 0 ! example ( ?is belov$ si/] :i*1 f ! age ( two1 drew me to ! ,div9e ,sp\se ( ,virg9s4 ,my de>e/ ,"m1 :at t5d] memories ( ,paul9e ,i c\ld confide to y "h6 ,b x w\ld take me too long4 ,lonie _h also a v w>m place 9 my he>t2 %e lov$ me v mu*1 & h] love 0 return$4 ,9 ! ev5+ :5 %e came home f s*ool %e us$ to take c>e ( me :ile ! o!rs w5t out1 & x seems to me ,i c /ill he> ! sweet songs %e sang to put me to sleep4 ,i rememb] p]fectly ! day ( h] ,fir/ ,communion1 & ,i rememb] also h] companion1 ! poor *ild :om my ,"m dress$1 accord+ to ! t\*+ cu/om ( ! well-to-d families 9 ,al5on4 ,?is *ild did n leave ,lonie = an in/ant on t happy day1 & 9 ! ev5+ at ! gr& d9n] %e sat 9 ! place ( hon\r4 ,alas6 ,i 0 too small to /ay up = ?is fea/1 b ,i %>$ 9 x a little1 ?anks to ,papa's goodness1 = he came himself to br+ 8 little ,que5 a piece ( ! ic$ cake4 ,! only "o n[ left to speak ( is ,cl9e1 ! companion ( my *ildhood4 ,my memories ( h] are s _m t ,i d n "k :i* to *oose4 ,we und]/ood ea* o!r p]fectly1 b ,i 0 mu* m =w>d & lively1 & f> less +5u\s4 ,"h is a lett] :i* w %[ y1 de> ,"m1 h[ sweet 0 ,cl9e1 & h[ naughty ,?rse4 ,i 0 !n ne>ly ?ree ye>s old1 & ,cl9e six & a half4 ,cl9e is naturally incl9$ to be good2 z to ! little puss1 ,?rse1 "o _c tell h[ %e w turn out1 %e is s "y & he$less4 ,%e is a v intellig5t *ild1 b has n ne>ly s sweet a disposition z h] si/]1 & h] /ubbornness is almo/ unconqu]able4 ,:5 %e has said ',no1' no?+ w make h] *ange2 "o c\ld leave h] all day 9 ! cell> )\t gett+ h] to say ',yes4' ,%e w\ld soon] sleep !re4 ,i _h ano!r fault also1 ( :i* my ,"m did n speak 9 h] lett]s3 x 0 self-love4 ,"h are two in/ances3 --,"o day1 no d\bt wi%+ to see h[ f> my pride w\ld g1 %e smil$ & said to me1 ,?rse1 if y w kiss ! gr\nd ,i w give y a halfp5ny4 ,9 ^? days a halfp5ny 0 a =tune1 & 9 ord] to ga9 x ,i _h n f> to /oop1 = ,i 0 s t9y !re 0 n mu* di/ance betwe5 me & ! gr\nd2 b my pride 0 up 9 arms1 & hold+ myself v erect1 ,i said1 ,no1 ?ank y1 ,mamma1 ,i w\ld r g )\t x4 ,ano!r "t we 7 go+ into ! c\ntry to see "s fri5ds4 ,mamma told ,m>ie to put on my prettie/ frock1 b n to let me h b>e arms4 ,i did n say a ^w1 & appe>$ z indiff]5t z *ildr5 ( t age %\ld be1 b ,i said to myself1 ,i %\ld h look$ mu* pretti] ) b>e arms4 ,) su* a disposition ,i feel sure t _h ,i be5 br\ght up by c>eless p>5ts ,i %\ld h become v wick$1 & p]haps h lo/ my s\l4 ,b ,jesus wat*$ ov] ,8 little ,sp\se1 & turn$ ev5 h] faults to advantage1 =1 be+ *eck$ e>ly 9 life1 !y became a means ( lead+ h] t[>ds p]fection4 ,= in/ance1 z ,i _h great self-love & an innate love ( good z well1 x 0 en\gh to tell me once3 ,y mu/ n d t1 & ,i nev] want$ to d x aga94 ,hav+ only good example be=e my eyes1 ,i naturally wi%$ to foll[ x1 & ,i see ) pleasure 9 my ,"m's lett]s t z ,i grew old] ,i began to be a great] com=t4 ,?is is :at %e writes 9 #ahgf3 ,ev5 ,?rse is anxi\s to make sacrifices4 ,m>ie has giv5 h] little si/]s a /r+ ( beads on purpose to c\nt _! acts ( self-d5ial4 ,!y h really spiritual1 b v amus+1 conv]sations toge!r4 ,cl9e said ! o!r day3 ',h[ c ,god be 9 su* a t9y ,ho/8' ,?rse answ]$3 ',t is n /range1 because ,god is ,almighty6' ',& :at does ,almighty mean8' ',x means t ,he c d :atev] ,he likes4' ,b x is m amus+ /ill to see ,?rse put h] h& 9 h] pocket1 "t aft] "t1 to pull a bead along ! /r+1 :5ev] %e makes a little sacrifice4 ,! *ildr5 are insep>able1 & are q suffici5t company = "o ano!r4 ,nurse has giv5 ,?rse two bantams1 & e day aft] d9n] %e & ,cl9e sit by ! fire & play ) !m4 ,"o morn+ ,?rse got out ( h] cot & climb$ into ,cl9e's4 ,! nurse w5t to fet* h] to be dress$1 &1 :5 at la/ %e f\nd h]1 ! little ?+ said1 hugg+ h] si/] v h>d3 ',oh1 ,l\ise6 leave me "h1 don't y see t we are l ! little :ite bantams1 we c't be sep>at$ f "o ano!r4' ,x is q true t ,i c\ld n be sep>at$ f ,cl9e2 ,i w\ld r leave my dess]t unf9i%$ at table ?an let h] g )\t me1 & ,i w\ld get d[n f my high *air :5 %e did1 & (f we w5t to play toge!r4 ,on ,sundays1 z ,i 0 /ill too small to g to ! long s]vices1 ,mamma /ay$ at home to take c>e ( me4 ,i 0 always v good1 walk+ ab\t on tip-toe2 b z soon z ,i he>d ! door op5 !re 0 a trem5d\s outbur/ ( joy--,i ?rew myself on my de> little si/]1 exclaim+3 ,oh1 ,cl9e6 give me ! bless$ bread1 quick6#h ,"o day %e _h n br\ght any--:at 0 to be done8 ,i c\ld n d )\t x1 = ,i call$ ?is little fea/ my ,mass4 ,a bright idea /ruck me3 ,y h no bless$ bread6 --make "s4 ,cl9e imm$iately op5$ ! cupbo>d1 took out ! bread1 cut a t9y bit (f1 & aft] say+ a ,hail ,m>y q solemnly ov] x1 triumphantly pres5t$ x to me2 & ,i1 mak+ ! sign ( ! ,cross1 ate x ) devotion1 fancy+ x ta/$ exactly l ! real bless$ bread4 ,"o day ,lonie1 ?9k+ no d\bt t %e 0 too big to play ) dolls1 br\ght u a basket fill$ ) clo!s1 pretty pieces ( /uff1 & o!r trifles on :i* h] doll 0 laid3 ,"h1 de>s1 %e said1 *oose :atev] y l4 ,cl9e look$ at x1 & took a wooll5 ball4 ,aft] ?9k+ ab\t x = a m9ute1 ,i put out my h& say+3 ,i *oose ev]y?+1 & ,i c>ri$ (f bo? doll & basket )\t m ado4 ,?is *ildi% incid5t 0 a =eca/1 s to speak1 ( my :ole life4 ,lat] on1 :5 ! way ( p]fection 0 op5$ out be=e me1 ,i realis$ t 9 ord] to become a ,sa9t "o mu/ suff] mu*1 always seek ! mo/ p]fect pa?1 & =get oneself4 ,i also und]/ood t !re are _m degrees ( hol9ess1 t ea* s\l is free to respond to ! calls ( ,our ,"l1 to d mu* or little = ,8 ,love--9 a ^w1 to *oose among/ ! sacrifices ,he asks4 ,& !n also1 z 9 ! days ( my *ildhood1 ,i cri$ out3 ,my ,god1 ,i *oose ev]y?+1 ,i w n be a ,sa9t by halves1 ,i am n afraid ( suff]+ = ,!e1 ,i only fe> "o ?+1 & t is to d my own w4 ,accept ! (f]+ ( my w1 = ,i *oose all t ,?\ wille/4 ,b1 de> ,"m1 ,i am =gett+ myself--,i mu/ n tell y yet ( my girlhood1 ,i am /ill speak+ ( ! baby ( ?ree & f\r ye>s old4 ,i rememb] a dream ,i _h at t age :i* impress$ itself v deeply on my memory4 ,i ?\ght ,i 0 walk+ alone 9 ! g>d5 :51 sudd5ly1 ,i saw ne> ! arb\r two hide\s little devils danc+ ) surpris+ agility on a b>rel ( lime1 9 spite ( ! heavy irons atta*$ to _! feet4 ,at fir/ !y ca/ fi]y glances at me2 !n1 z ?\gh sudd5ly t]rifi$1 ,i saw !m1 9 ! tw9kl+ ( an eye1 ?r[ !mselves d[n to ! bottom ( ! b>rel1 f :i* !y came out someh[1 only to run & hide !mselves 9 ! laundry :i* op5$ into ! g>d54 ,f9d+ !m su* c[>ds1 ,i want$ to "k :at !y 7 go+ to d1 &1 ov]com+ my fe>s1 ,i w5t to ! w9d[4 ,! wret*$ little creatures 7 !re1 runn+ ab\t on ! tables1 n kn[+ h[ to hide !mselves f my gaze4 ,f "t to "t !y came ne>]1 pe]+ ?r\gh ! w9d[s ) an uneasy air1 !n1 see+ t ,i 0 /ill !re1 !y began to run ab\t aga9 look+ q desp]ate4 ,( c\rse ?is dream 0 no?+ extraord9>y2 yet ,i ?9k ,our ,"l made use ( x to %[ me t a s\l 9 ! /ate ( grace has no?+ to fe> f ! devil1 :o is a c[>d1 & w ev5 fly f ! gaze ( a little *ild4 ,de> ,"m1 h[ happy ,i 0 at t age6 ,i 0 beg9n+ to enjoy life1 & goodness itself seem$ full ( *>ms4 ,probably my "* 0 ! same z x is n[1 = ev5 !n ,i _h great self-comm&1 & made a practice ( nev] compla9+ :5 my ?+s 7 tak52 ev5 if ,i 0 unju/ly accus$1 ,i pref]r$ to keep sil5ce4 ,!re 0 no m]it 9 ?is1 = ,i did x naturally4 ,h[ quickly ^? sunny ye>s ( my *ildhood pass$ away1 & :at t5d] memories !y h impr9t$ on my m9d6 ,i rememb] ! ,sunday walks :5 my de> ,"m always accompani$ u2 & ,i c /ill feel ! impression made on my *ildi% he>t at ! sight ( ! fields bright ) cornfl[]s1 poppies1 & m>gu]ites4 ,ev5 at t age ,i lov$ f>-/ret*+ views1 sunlit spaces & /ately trees2 9 a ^w1 all nature *>m$ me & lift$ up my s\l to ,heav54 ,(t51 dur+ ^! walks1 we met poor p4 ,i 0 always *os5 to give !m an alms1 :i* made me feel v happy4 ,sometimes1 my de> ,fa!r1 kn[+ ! way 0 too long = 8 little ,que51 took me home4 ,?is 0 a cause ( grief1 & to console me ,cl9e w\ld fill h] basket ) daisies1 & give !m to me on h] return4 ,truly ev]y?+ on e>? smil$ on me2 ,i f\nd fl[]s /rewn at e /ep1 & my naturally happy disposition help$ to make life bright4 ,b a new era 0 ab\t to dawn4 ,i 0 to be ! ,sp\se ( ,our ,"l at su* an e>ly age t x 0 necess>y ,i %\ld suff] f my *ildhood4 ,z ! e>ly spr+ fl[]s beg9 to come up "u ! sn[ & op5 at ! fir/ rays ( ! sun1 s ! ,little ,fl[] ^: /ory ,i am writ+ _h to pass ?r\gh ! w9t] ( trial & to h h] t5d] cup fill$ ) ! dew ( te>s4 #a ,ps4 #hhhi3a4 #b ,?is /atue twice appe>$ z if end[$ ) life1 9 ord] to enlight5 & console ,mme4 ,m>t91 "m ( ,?rse4 ,a l fav\r 0 grant$ to ,?rse h]self1 z w be se5 9 ! c\rse ( ! n>rative4 #c ,m>k #c3ac4 #d ,cf4 ,exodus #cc3ai4 #e ,cf4 ,rom4 #i3af4 #f ,cf4 ,ps4 #bbbc3a-d4 #g ,ps4 #ajbajc3h4 #h ,! cu/om /ill prevails 9 "s p>ts ( ,france ( bless+ bread at ! ,(f]tory ( ! ,mass & !n di/ribut+ x to ! fai?ful4 ,x is kn[n z pa9 bnit4 ,?is bless+ only takes place at ! ,p>o*ial ,mass4 ,ed4 ,,*apt] ,,ii ,a ,,ca?olic ,,h\sehold ,all ! details ( my ,"m's illness are /ill fre% 9 my m9d4 ,i rememb] especially h] la/ weeks on e>?1 :5 ,cl9e & ,i felt l poor little exiles4 ,e morn+ a fri5d came to fet* u1 & we sp5t ! day ) h]4 ,once1 we _h n _h "t to say our pray]s be=e />t+1 & on ! way my little si/] :isp]$3 ,mu/ we tell h] t we h n said our pray]s8 ,yes1 ,i answ]$4 ,s1 v timidly1 ,cl9e confid$ our secret to h]1 & %e exclaim$3 ,well1 well1 *ildr51 y %all say !m4 ,!n %e took u to a l>ge room1 & left u !re4 ,cl9e look$ at me 9 amazem5t4 ,i 0 equally a/oni%$1 & exclaim$3 ,?is is n l ,mamma1 %e always said our pray]s ) u4 ,dur+ ! day1 9 spite ( all ef=ts to amuse u1 ! ?\ght ( our de> ,"m 0 con/antly 9 our m9ds4 ,i rememb] once1 :5 my si/] _h an apricot giv5 to h]1 %e leant t[>ds me & said3 ,we w n eat x1 ,i w give x to ,mamma4 ,alas6 our belov$ ,"m 0 n[ too ill to eat any e>?ly fruit2 %e w\ld nev] m be satisfi$ b by ! glory ( ,heav54 ,!re %e w\ld dr9k ( ! my/]i\s w9e :i* ,jesus1 at ,8 ,la/ ,supp]1 promis$ to %>e ) u 9 ! ,k+dom ( ,8 ,fa!r4 ,! t\*+ c]emony ( ,extreme ,unction made a deep impression on me4 ,i c /ill see ! place :]e ,i knelt1 & he> my poor ,fa!r's sobs4 ,my de> ,"m di$ on ,augu/ #bh1 #ahgg1 9 h] =ty-six? ye>4 ,! day aft] h] dea? my ,fa!r took me 9 8 arms & said3 ,come & kiss y\r de> ,"m = ! la/ "t4 ,)\t say+ a ^w ,i put my lips to h] icy =ehead4 ,i d n rememb] hav+ cri$ mu*1 & ,i did n talk to anyone ( all t fill$ my he>t2 ,i look$ & li/5$ 9 sil5ce1 & ,i saw _m ?+s !y w\ld h hidd5 f me4 ,once ,i f\nd myself close to ! c(f9 9 ! passage4 ,i /ood look+ at x = a long "t2 ,i _h nev] se5 "o be=e1 b ,i knew :at x 04 ,i 0 s small t ,i _h to lift up my head to see its :ole l5g?1 & x seem$ to me v big & v sad4 ,fifte5 ye>s lat] ,i 0 aga9 /&+ by ano!r c(f91 t ( our holy ,"m ,g5evieve1#a & ,i 0 c>ri$ back to ! days ( my *ildhood4 ,memories cr[d$ ^u me2 x 0 ! same little ,?rse :o look$ at x1 b %e _h gr[n1 & ! c(f9 seem$ small4 ,%e _h n to lift up h] head to x1 n[ %e only rais$ h] eyes to contemplate ,heav5 :i* seem$ to h] v full ( joy1 = trials _h matur$ & /r5g!n$ h] s\l1 s t no?+ on e>? c\ld make h] grieve4 ,our ,"l did n leave me :olly an orphan2 on ! day ( my ,"m's fun]al ,he gave me ano!r "m1 & all[$ me to *oose h] freely4 ,we 7 all five toge!r1 look+ at "o ano!r sadly1 :5 our nurse1 ov]come ) emotion1 said1 turn+ to ,cl9e & to me3 ,poor little de>s1 y no long] h a ,"m4 ,!n ,cl9e ?rew h]self into ,m>ie's arms1 cry+3 ,well1 y w be my ,"m n[4 ,i 0 s accu/om$ to imitate ,cl9e t ,i %\ld und\bt$ly h foll[$ h] example1 b ,i fe>$ ,paul9e w\ld be sad & feel h]self left out if %e too _h n a little daught]4 ,s1 ) a lov+ look1 ,i hid my face on h] brea/ say+ 9 my turn3 ,& ,paul9e w be my ,"m4 ,t day1 z ,i h said1 began ! second p]iod ( my life4 ,x 0 ! mo/ sorr[ful ( all1 especially aft] ,paul9e1 my second ,"m1 ent]$ ! ,c>mel2 & x la/$ f ! "t ,i 0 f\r ye>s old until ,i 0 f\rte51 :5 ,i recov]$ mu* ( my *ildi% gaiety1 ev5 ?\gh ,i und]/ood m fully ! s]i\s side ( life4 ,i mu/ tell y t aft] my ,"m's dea? my naturally happy disposition completely *ang$4 ,in/ead ( be+ lively & demon/rative z ,i _h be51 ,i became timid1 %y1 & extremely s5sitive2 a look 0 en\gh to make me bur/ into te>s4 ,i c\ld n be> to be notic$ or to meet /rang]s1 & 0 only at ease 9 my own family circle4 ,!re ,i 0 always *]i%$ ) ! mo/ lov+ c>e2 my ,fa!r's affectionate he>t seem$ end[$ ) a "m's love1 & my si/]s 7 no less t5d] & devot$4 ,if ,our ,"l _h n lavi%$ s mu* love & sun%9e on ,8 ,little ,fl[]1 %e nev] c\ld h become acclimatis$ to ?is e>?4 ,/ill too weak to be> ! /orm1 %e ne$$ w>m?1 refre%+ dew1 & s(t breezes1 & ^! gifts 7 nev] want+ to h]1 ev5 9 ! *ill+ seasons ( trials4 ,soon aft] my ,"m's dea?1 ,papa made up 8 m9d to leave ,al5on & live at ,lisieux1 s t we might be ne> our uncle1 my ,"m's bro!r4 ,he made ?is sacrifice 9 ord] t my "y si/]s %\ld h ! b5efit ( _! aunt's guidance 9 _! new life1 & t %e might act z a "m t[>ds !m4 ,i did n feel any grief at leav+ my native t[n3 *ildr5 love *ange & any?+ out ( ! common1 & s ,i 0 pleas$ to come to ,lisieux4 ,i rememb] ! j\rney q well1 & our arrival 9 ! ev5+ at my uncle's h\se1 & ,i c /ill see my little c\s9s1 ,jeanne & ,m>ie1 wait+ on ! door/ep ) my aunt4 ,h[ t\*+ 0 ! affection all ^! de> ones %[$ u6 ,! next day !y took u to our new home1 ,les ,buissonets1#b situat$ 9 a quiet "p ( ! t[n4 ,i 0 *>m$ ) ! h\se my ,fa!r _h tak54 ,! l>ge upp] w9d[ f :i* !re 0 an ext5sive view1 ! fl[] g>d5 9 front1 & ! kit*5 g>d5 at ! back--all ^! seem$ delightfully new to my *ildi% m9d2 & ?is happy home became ! sc5e ( _m joys & ( family ga!r+s :i* ,i c nev] =get4 ,else:]e1 z ,i said be=e1 ,i felt an exile1 ,i cri$ & frett$ = my ,"m2 b "h my little he>t exp&$1 & ,i smil$ on life once m4 ,:5 ,i woke !re 7 my si/]s ready to c>ess me1 & ,i said my pray]s kneel+ betwe5 !m4 ,!n ,paul9e gave me my read+ lesson1 & ,i rememb] t ,heav5 0 ! fir/ ^w ,i c\ld read alone4 ,:5 lessons 7 ov] ,i w5t up/airs1 :]e ,papa 0 g5]ally to be f\nd1 & h[ pleas$ ,i 0 :5 ,i _h good m>ks to %[4 ,e aft]noon ,i w5t out = a walk ) him1 & we paid a visit to ! ,bless$ ,sacram5t 9 "o or o!r ( ! ,*ur*es4 ,x 0 9 ?is way t ,i fir/ saw ! ,*apel ( ! ,c>mel3 ,look1 little ,que51 ,papa said to me1 beh9d t big grat+ !re are holy nuns :o are always pray+ to ,almighty ,god4 ,little did ,i ?9k t n9e ye>s lat] ,i %\ld be among/ !m1 t 9 ?is bless$ ,c>mel ,i %\ld receive s _m graces4 ,on return+ home ,i le>nt my lessons1 & !n sp5t ! re/ ( ! day play+ 9 ! g>d5 ne> ,papa4 ,i nev] c>$ = dolls1 b "o ( my fav\rite amusem5ts 0 mak+ col\r$ mixtures ) se$s & ! b>k ( trees4 ,if ! col\rs 7 pretty1 ,i w\ld promptly (f] !m to ,papa 9 a little cup & entice him to ta/e !m2 !n my de>e/ ,fa!r w\ld leave 8 "w & smil+ly pret5d to dr9k4 ,i 0 v fond ( fl[]s1 & amus$ myself by mak+ little alt>s 9 holes :i* ,i happ5$ to f9d 9 ! middle ( my g>d5 wall4 ,:5 f9i%$ ,i w\ld run & call ,papa1 & he seem$ delight$ ) !m4 ,i %\ld nev] /op if ,i told y ( ! ?\s& & "o incid5ts ( ?is k9d t ,i c rememb]4 ,h[ %all ,i make y und]/& ! love t my ,fa!r lavi%$ on 8 little ,que56 ,^? 7 specially happy days = me :5 ,i w5t fi%+ ) my de> ,k+1 z ,i us$ to call him4 ,sometimes ,i tri$ my h& ) a small rod ( my own1 b g5]ally ,i pref]r$ to sit on ! grass "s di/ance away4 ,!n my reflections became really deep1 &1 )\t kn[+ :at m$itation meant1 my s\l 0 absorb$ 9 pray]4 ,f>-(f s\nds rea*$ me1 ! murmur+ ( ! w9d1 sometimes a few unc]ta9 notes ( music f a milit>y b& 9 ! t[n a long way (f2 all ?is imp>t$ a t\* ( melan*oly to my ?\ghts4 ,e>? seem$ a place ( exile1 & ,i dream$ ( ,heav54 ,! aft]noon pass$ quickly away1 & x 0 soon "t to g home1 b be=e pack+ up ,i w\ld eat ! provisions ,i _h br\ght 9 a small basket4 ,someh[ ! slices ( bread & jam1 prep>$ by my si/]s1 look$ diff]5t2 !y _h seem$ s tempt+1 & n[ !y look$ /ale & un9vit+4 ,ev5 su* a trifle z ?is made ! e>? seem sadd]1 & ,i realis$ t only 9 ,heav5 w !re be uncl\d$ joy4 ,speak+ ( cl\ds1 ,i rememb] h[ "o day :5 we 7 out1 ! blue sky became ov]ca/ & a /orm came on1 accompani$ by vivid lightn+4 ,i look$ r\nd on e side1 s z to lose no?+ ( ! gr& sight4 ,a ?und]bolt fell 9 a field close by1 &1 f> f feel+ ! lea/ bit afraid1 ,i 0 delight$--x seem$ t ,god 0 s ne>4 ,papa 0 n s pleas$1 & put an end to my rev]ie1 = already ! tall grass & daisies1 tall] ?an ,i1 7 sp>kl+ ) ra9-drops1 & we _h to cross sev]al fields to rea* ! road4 ,9 spite ( 8 fi%+ tackle1 he c>ri$ me 9 8 arms :ile ,i look$ d[n 9 ! beautiful jewell$ drops1 almo/ sorry t ,i c\ld n be dr5*$ by !m4 ,i d n ?9k ,i h told y t 9 our daily walks at ,lisieux1 z 9 ,al5on1 ,i (t5 us$ to give alms to ! begg>s4 ,"o day we came ^u a poor old man :o dragg$ himself pa9fully along on crut*es4 ,i w5t up to give him a p5ny4 ,he look$ sadly at me = a long "t1 & !n1 %ak+ 8 head ) a sorr[ful smile1 he refus$ my alms4 ,i _c tell y :at ,i felt2 ,i _h wi%$ to help & com=t him1 & in/ead ( t1 ,i _h1 p]haps1 hurt him & caus$ him pa94 ,he mu/ h guess$ my ?\ght1 = ,i saw him turn r\nd & smile at me :5 we 7 "s way (f4 ,j !n ,papa b\ght me a cake4 ,i wi%$ v mu* to run aft] ! old man & give x to him1 = ,i ?\ght3 ,well1 he did n want money1 b ,i am sure he w\ld l to h a cake4 ,i d n "k :at held me back1 & ,i felt s sad ,i c\ld h>dly keep f cry+2 !n ,i rememb]$ hav+ he>d t "o obta9s all ! fav\rs ask$ = on "o's ,fir/ ,communion ,day4 ,?is ?\ght consol$ me imm$iately1 & ?\gh ,i 0 only six ye>s old at ! "t1 ,i said to myself3 ,i w pray = my poor old man on ! day ( my ,fir/ ,communion4 ,five ye>s lat] ,i fai?fully kept my resolution4 ,i h always ?\ght t my *ildi% pray] = ?is suff]+ memb] ( ,*ri/ has be5 bless$ & rew>d$4 ,z ,i grew old] my love ( ,god grew m & m4 ,i (t5 (f]$ my he>t to ,him1 us+ ! words my ,"m _h taught me1 & ,i tri$ v h>d to please ,him 9 all my actions1 tak+ great c>e nev] to (f5d ,him4 ,& yet "o day ,i committ$ a fault :i* ,i mu/ tell y "h--x gives me a good opportunity ( humbl+ myself1 ?\gh ,i believe ,i h griev$ ov] x ) p]fect contrition4 ,x 0 ! mon? ( ,may1 #ahgh4 ,my si/]s decid$ t ,i 0 too small to g to ! ,may devotions e ev5+1 s ,i /ay$ at home ) ! nurse & said my pray]s ) h] be=e ! little alt> :i* ,i _h arrang$ accord+ to my own ta/e4 ,ev]y?+ 0 small--c&le/icks1 vases1 & ! re/2 two wax ve/as 7 q suffici5t to light x up prop]ly4 ,sometimes ,victoire1 ! maid1 gave me "s little bits ( real c&le1 b n (t54 ,"o ev5+1 :5 we w5t to our pray]s1 ,i said to h]3 ,w y beg9 ! ,memor>e8 ,i am go+ to light ! c&les4 ,%e tri$ to beg91 & !n look$ at me & bur/ out laugh+4 ,see+ my preci\s ve/as burn+ quickly away1 ,i begg$ h] once m to say ! ,memor>e4 ,aga9 !re 0 sil5ce1 brok5 only by bur/s ( laught]4 ,all my natural good temp] des]t$ me4 ,i got up feel+ dreadfully angry1 &1 /amp+ my foot furi\sly1 ,i cri$ out3 ,victoire1 y naughty girl6 ,%e /opp$ laugh+ at once1 & look$ at me 9 utt] a/oni%m5t1 !n %[$ me--too late--! surprise %e _h 9 /ore hidd5 "u h] apron--two pieces ( c&le4 ,my te>s ( ang] 7 soon *ang$ into te>s ( sorr[2 ,i 0 v mu* a%am$ & griev$1 & made a firm resolution nev] to act 9 su* a way aga94 ,%ortly aft] ?is ,i made my fir/ confession4#c ,x is a v sweet memory4 ,paul9e _h w>n$ me3 ,?rse1 d>l+1 x is n to a man b to ,god ,himself t y are go+ to tell y\r s9s4 ,i 0 s p]suad$ ( ?is t ,i ask$ h] q s]i\sly if ,i %\ld n tell ,fa!r ,ducelli] t ,i lov$ him ) my :ole he>t1 z x 0 really ,god ,i 0 go+ to speak to 9 8 p]son4 ,well in/ruct$ z to :at ,i 0 to d1 ,i ent]$ ! confessional1 & turn+ r\nd to ! prie/1 s z to see him bett]1 ,i made my confession & receiv$ absolution 9 a _s ( lively fai?--my si/] hav+ assur$ me t at ?is solemn mom5t ! te>s ( ! ,holy ,*ild ,jesus w\ld purify my s\l4 ,i rememb] well t he exhort$ me above all to a t5d] devotion t[>ds ,our ,lady1 & ,i promis$ to r$\ble my love = h] :o already fill$ s l>ge a place 9 my he>t4 ,!n ,i pass$ him my ,ros>y to be bless$1 & came out ( ! ,confessional m joyful & ligh!>t$ ?an ,i _h ev] felt be=e4 ,x 0 ev5+1 & z soon z ,i got to a /reet lamp ,i /opp$ & took ! newly bless$ ,ros>y out ( my pocket1 turn+ x ov] & ov]4 ,:at are y look+ at1 ,?rse1 de>8 ask$ ,paul9e4 ,i am see+ :at a bless$ ,ros>y looks l4 ,?is *ildi% answ] amus$ my si/]s v mu*4 ,i 0 deeply impress$ by ! graces ,i _h receiv$1 & wi%$ to g to confession aga9 = all ! big fea/s1 = ^! confessions fill$ me ) joy4 ,! fea/s6 ,:at preci\s memories ^! simple words br+ to me4 ,i lov$ !m2 & my si/]s knew s well h[ to expla9 ! my/]ies hidd5 9 ea* "o4 ,^? days ( e>? became days ( ,heav54 ,above all ,i lov$ ! procession ( ! ,bless$ ,sacram5t3 :at a joy x 0 to /rew fl[]s 9 ,god's pa?6 ,b be=e scatt]+ !m on ! gr\nd ,i ?rew !m high 9 ! air1 & 0 nev] s happy z :5 ,i saw my rose-leaves t\* ! sacr$ ,mon/rance4 ,& if ! great fea/s came b seldom1 ea* week br\ght "o v de> to my he>t1 & t 0 ,sunday4 ,:at a glori\s day6 ,! ,fea/ ( ,god6 ,! day ( re/6 ,fir/ ( all ! :ole family w5t to ,high ,mass1 & ,i rememb] t be=e ! s]mon we _h to come d[n f our places1 :i* 7 "s way f ! pulpit1 & f9d seats 9 ! nave4 ,?is 0 n always easy1 b to little ,?rse & h] ,fa!r ev]yone (f]$ a place4 ,my uncle 0 delight$ :5 he saw u come d[n2 he call$ me 8 ,sunbeam1 & said t to see ! v5]able old man lead+ 8 little daught] by ! h& 0 a sight :i* always fill$ him ) joy4 ,i nev] tr\bl$ myself if p look$ at me1 ,i 0 only occupi$ 9 li/5+ att5tively to ! prea*]4 ,a s]mon on ! ,passion ( our ,bless$ ,"l 0 ! fir/ ,i und]/ood1 & x t\*$ me deeply4 ,i 0 !n five & a half1 & aft] t "t ,i 0 able to und]/& & appreciate all in/ructions4 ,if ,/4 ,t]esa 0 m5tion$1 my ,fa!r w\ld b5d d[n & :isp] to me3 ,li/5 att5tively1 little ,que51 he is speak+ ( y\r holy patroness4 ,i really did li/5 att5tively1 b ,i mu/ own ,i look$ at ,papa m ?an at ! prea*]1 = ,i read _m ?+s 9 8 face4 ,sometimes 8 eyes 7 fill$ ) te>s :i* he /rove 9 va9 to keep back2 & z he li/5$ to ! et]nal tru?s he seem$ no long] ( ?is e>?1 8 s\l 0 absorb$ 9 ! ?\ght ( ano!r _w4 ,alas6 ,_m long & sorr[ful ye>s _h to pass be=e ,heav5 0 to be op5$ to him1 & ,our ,"l ) ,8 ,own ,div9e ,h& 0 to wipe away ! bitt] te>s ( ,8 fai?ful s]vant4 ,to g back to ! description ( our ,sundays4 ,?is happy day :i* pass$ s quickly _h also its t\* ( melan*oly2 my happ9ess 0 full till ,compl9e1 b aft] t a feel+ ( sadness took possession ( me4 ,i ?\ght ( ! morr[ :5 "o _h to beg9 aga9 ! daily life ( "w & lessons1 & my he>t1 feel+ l an exile on ?is e>?1 long$ = ! repose ( ,heav5--! nev] end+ ,sabba? ( our true ,home4 ,e ,sunday my aunt invit$ u 9 turns to sp5d ! ev5+ ) h]4 ,i 0 always glad :5 m9e came1 & x 0 a pleasure to li/5 to my uncle's conv]sation4 ,8 talk 0 s]i\s1 b x int]e/$ me1 & he little knew t ,i paid su* att5tion2 b my joy 0 n unmix$ ) fe> :5 he took me on 8 knee & sang ,bluebe>d 9 8 deep voice4 ,ab\t eight o'clock ,papa w\ld come to fet* me4 ,i rememb] t ,i us$ to look up at ! />s ) inexpressible delight4 ,orion's belt fasc9at$ me especially1 = ,i saw 9 x a lik5ess to ! lett] ,t4 ,look1 ,papa1 ,i w\ld cry1 my "n is writt5 9 ,heav56 ,!n1 n wi%+ to see ?is dull e>? any long]1 ,i ask$ him to lead me1 & ) my head ?r[n back1 ,i gaz$ unwe>i$ly at ! />ry skies4 ,i c\ld tell y mu* ab\t our w9t] ev5+s at home4 ,aft] a game ( draughts my si/]s read al\d ,dom ,gurang]'s ,liturgical ,ye>1 & !n a few pages ( "s o!r int]e/+ & in/ructive book4 ,:ile ?is 0 go+ on ,i e/abli%$ myself on ,papa's knee1 & :5 ! read+ 0 done he us$ to s+ soo?+ snat*es ( melody 9 8 beautiful voice1 z if to lull me to sleep1 & ,i w\ld lay my head on 8 brea/ :ile he rock$ me g5tly to & fro4 ,lat] on we w5t up/airs = night pray]s1 & !re aga9 my place 0 beside my belov$ ,fa!r1 & ,i _h only to look at him to "k h[ ! ,sa9ts pray4 ,paul9e put me to b$1 & ,i inv>iably ask$ h]3 ,h ,i be5 good to-day8 ,is ,god pleas$ ) me8 ,w ! ,angels wat* ov] me8 ,! answ] 0 always ,yes1 o!rwise ,i %\ld h sp5t ! :ole night 9 te>s4 ,aft] ^! que/ions my si/]s kiss$ me1 & little ,?rse 0 left alone 9 ! d>k4 ,i look on x z a real grace t f *ildhood ,i 0 taught to ov]come my fe>s4 ,sometimes 9 ! ev5+ ,paul9e w\ld s5d me to fet* some?+ f a di/ant room2 %e w\ld take no refusal1 & %e 0 q "r1 = o!rwise ,i %\ld h become v n]v\s1 :]eas n[ x is difficult to fright5 me4 ,i wond] sometimes h[ my little ,"m 0 able to br+ me up ) s mu* t5d]ness1 & yet )\t spoil+ me1 = %e did n pass ov] ! lea/ fault4 ,x is true %e nev] scold$ me )\t cause1 & ,i knew well %e w\ld nev] *ange h] m9d :5 once a ?+ 0 decid$ ^u4 ,to ?is de>ly lov$ si/] ,i confid$ my mo/ intimate ?\ghts2 %e cle>$ up all my d\bts4 ,"o day ,i express$ surprise t ,god does n give an equal am\nt ( glory to all ! elect 9 ,heav5--,i 0 afraid t !y w\ld n all be q happy4 ,%e s5t me to fet* ,papa's big tumbl]1 & put x beside my t9y ?imble1 !n1 fill+ bo? ) wat]1 %e ask$ me :i* seem$ ! full]4 ,i repli$ t "o 0 z full z ! o!r--x 0 impossible to p\r m wat] into ei!r ( !m1 = !y c\ld n hold x4 ,9 ?is way ,paul9e made x cle> to me t 9 ,heav5 ! lea/ ( ! ,bless$ does n envy ! happ9ess ( ! greate/2 & s1 by br++ ! highe/ my/]ies d[n to ! level ( my und]/&+1 %e gave my s\l ! food x ne$$4 ,joyfully ea* ye> ,i welcom$ ! prize day4 ,?\gh ,i 0 ! only competitor1 ju/ice 0 none ! less /rictly obs]v$1 & ,i nev] receiv$ rew>ds unless !y 7 well m]it$4 ,my he>t us$ to beat ) excitem5t :5 ,i he>d ! decisions1 & 9 pres5ce ( ! :ole family receiv$ prizes f ,papa's h&s4 ,x 0 to me l a picture ( ! ,judgm5t ,day6 ,see+ ,papa s *e]ful1 no suspicion ( ! t]rible trials :i* await$ him cross$ my m9d2 b "o day ,god %[$ me1 9 an extraord9>y vision1 a vivid picture ( ! tr\ble to come4 ,my ,fa!r 0 away on a j\rney1 & c\ld n return z e>ly z usual4 ,x 0 ab\t two or ?ree o'clock 9 ! aft]noon2 ! sun 0 %9+ brightly1 & all ! _w seem$ gay4 ,i 0 alone at ! w9d[1 look+ on to ! kit*5 g>d51 my m9d full ( *e]ful ?\ghts1 :5 ,i saw be=e me1 9 front ( ! wa%-h\se1 a man dress$ exactly l ,papa1 ( ! same height & appe>ance1 b m b5t & ag$4 ,i say ag$1 to describe 8 g5]al appe>ance1 = ,i did n see 8 face z 8 head 0 cov]$ ) a ?ick veil4 ,he advanc$ sl[ly1 ) measur$ /ep1 along my little g>d52 at t in/ant a feel+ ( sup]natural fe> seiz$ me1 & ,i call$ out l\dly 9 a trembl+ voice3 ,papa1 ,papa6 ,! my/]i\s p]son seem$ n to he>1 he cont9u$ 8 walk )\t ev5 turn+1 & w5t t[>ds a clump ( firs :i* grew 9 ! middle ( ! g>d54 ,i expect$ to see him reappe> at ! o!r side ( ! big trees1 b ! prophetic vision _h vani%$4 ,x 0 all ov] 9 a mom5t1 b x 0 a mom5t :i* impress$ itself s deeply on my memory t ev5 n[1 aft] s _m ye>s1 ! remembrance ( x is z vivid z ! vision itself4 ,my si/]s 7 all toge!r 9 an adjo9+ room4 ,he>+ me call ,papa6 !y 7 fright5$ !mselves1 b ,m>ie1 hid+ h] feel+s1 ran to me & said3 ,:y are y call+ ,papa1 :5 he is at ,al5on8 ,i told h] :at ,i _h se51 & to reassure me !y said t ,nurse mu/ h cov]$ h] head ) h] apron on purpose to fright5 me4 ,victoire1 h[ev]1 :5 que/ion$1 decl>$ %e _h n left ! kit*5--besides1 ! tru? 0 too deeply impress$ on my m9d3 ,i _h se5 a man1 & t man 0 exactly l my ,fa!r4 ,we all w5t to look beh9d ! clump ( trees1 &1 f9d+ no?+1 my si/]s told me to ?9k no m ab\t x4 ,ah1 t 0 n 9 my p[]6 ,(t5 & (t5 my imag9ation br\ght be=e me ?is my/]i\s vision1 (t5 & (t5 ,i tri$ to raise ! veil :i* hid its true mean+1 & deep d[n 9 my he>t ,i _h a conviction t "s day x w\ld be fully reveal$ to me4 ,& y "k all1 de> ,"m4 ,y "k t x 0 really my ,fa!r :om ,god %[$ me1 b5t by age1 & be>+ on 8 v5]able face & 8 :ite head ! symbol ( 8 t]rible trial4#d ,z ! ,adorable ,face ( ,jesus 0 veil$ dur+ ,8 ,passion1 s x 0 fitt+ t ! face ( ,8 humble s]vant %\ld be veil$ dur+ ! days ( 8 humiliation1 9 ord] t x might %9e ) great] brilliancy 9 ,heav54 ,h[ ,i admire ,god's ways6 ,he %[$ u ?is preci\s cross be=eh&1 z a fa!r %[s 8 *ildr5 ! glori\s future he is prep>+ = !m--a future :i* w br+ !m an inh]itance ( priceless treasures4 ,b a ?\ght comes into my m9d3 ,:y did ,god give ?is light to a *ild :o1 if %e _h und]/ood x1 w\ld h di$ ( grief8 ,:y8 ,"h is "o ( ^? incompreh5sible my/]ies :i* we %all only und]/& 9 ,heav51 :]e !y w be ! subject ( our et]nal admiration4 ,my ,god1 h[ good ,?\ art6 ,h[ well do/ ,?\ suit ! trial to our /r5g?6 ,at t "t ,i _h n c\rage ev5 to ?9k t ,papa c\ld die1 )\t be+ t]rifi$4 ,"o day he 0 /&+ on a high /ep-ladd]1 & z ,i 0 close by he call$ out3 ,move away1 little ,que52 if ,i fall ,i %all cru% y4 ,in/antly ,i felt an inw>d %ock1 &1 go+ /ill ne>] to ! ladd]1 ,i ?\ght3 ,at lea/ if ,papa falls ,i %all n h ! pa9 ( see+ him die1 = ,i %all die ) him4 ,i c\ld nev] say h[ mu* ,i lov$ him4 ,i admir$ ev]y?+ he did4 ,:5 he expla9$ 8 ideas on s]i\s matt]s1 z if ,i 7 a big girl1 ,i answ]$ him navely3 ,x is q c]ta91 ,papa1 t if y spoke l t to ! great m5 :o gov]n ! c\ntry !y w\ld take y & make y ,k+4 ,!n ,france w\ld be happi] ?an x 0 ev] be52 b y w\ld be unhappy1 because t is ! lot ( k+s2 besides y w\ld no long] be my ,k+ alone1 s ,i am glad t !y d n "k y4 ,:5 ,i 0 six or sev5 ye>s old ,i saw ! sea = ! fir/ "t4 ,! sight made a deep impression on me1 ,i c\ld n take my eyes (f x4 ,its maje/y1 & ! ro> ( ! waves1 all spoke to my s\l ( ! greatness & p[] ( ,god4 ,i rememb]1 :5 we 7 on ! bea*1 a man & woman look$ at me = a long "t1 !n1 ask+ ,papa if ,i 0 8 *ild1 !y rem>k$ t ,i 0 a v pretty little girl4 ,papa at once made a sign to !m n to flatt] me2 ,i 0 delight$ to he> :at !y said1 = ,i did n ?9k ,i 0 pretty4 ,my si/]s 7 mo/ c>eful nev] to talk be=e me 9 su* a way z to spoil my simplicity & *ildi% innoc5ce2 &1 because ,i believ$ s implicitly 9 !m1 ,i atta*$ little importance to ! admiration ( ^! p & ?\ght no m ab\t x4 ,t ev5+ at ! h\r :5 ! sun seems to s9k into ! va/ ocean1 leav+ beh9d x a trail ( glory1 ,i sat ) ,paul9e on a b>e rock1 & gaz$ = long on ?is gold5 furr[ :i* %e told me 0 an image ( grace illum9+ ! way ( fai?ful s\ls "h bel[4 ,!n ,i pictur$ my s\l z a t9y b>que1 ) a graceful :ite sail1 9 ! mid/ ( ! furr[1 & ,i resolv$ nev] to let x )draw f ! sight ( ,jesus1 s t x might sail peacefully & quickly t[>ds ! ,heav5ly ,%ore4 #a ,?is holy nun _h be5 pr(ess$ at ! ,c>mel ( ,poiti]s1 & 0 s5t f !re to make ! f\ndation at ,lisieux 9 #ahch4 ,h] memory is held 9 b5$iction 9 bo? ^! conv5ts2 9 ! sight ( ,god %e con/antly practis$ ! mo/ h]oic virtue1 & on ,decemb] #e1 #ahia1 cr[n$ a life ( good works by a holy dea?4 ,%e 0 !n eighty-six ye>s ( age4 #b ,?is h\se1 an object ( deep int]e/ to ! cli5ts ( ,soeur ,?rse1 is mu* frequ5t$ by pilgrims to ,lisieux4 ,ed4 #c ,?is fir/ confession 0 made 9 ! beautiful *ur* ( ,/4 ,pi]re1 =m]ly ! ca!dral ( ,lisieux4 ,ed4 #d ,x seems advisable1 on acc\nt ( ! vague allusions :i* occur "h & else:]e1 to /ate :at happ5$ to ,m4 ,l\is ,m>t94 ,at ! age ( sixty-six1 hav+ already _h sev]al p>tial attacks1 he 0 /ruck ) g5]al p>alysis1 & 8 m9d gave way altoge!r4 ,,*apt] ,,iii ,,paul9e ,,ent]s ,,! ,,c>mel ,i 0 eight & a half :5 ,lonie left s*ool1 & ,i took h] place at ! ,b5$ict9e ,abbey 9 ,lisieux4 ,! girls ( my class 7 all old] ?an myself2 "o ( !m 0 f\rte51 &1 ?\gh n clev]1 %e knew h[ to impose on ! little ones4 ,see+ me s "y1 ne>ly always fir/ 9 class1 & a fav\rite ) all ! nuns1 %e 0 jeal\s1 & us$ to pay me out 9 a ?\s& ways4 ,naturally timid & s5sitive1 ,i did n "k h[ to def5d myself1 & c\ld only cry 9 sil5ce4 ,cl9e & my eld] si/]s did n "k ( my grief1 &1 n be+ advanc$ en\gh 9 virtue to rise above ^! tr\bles1 ,i suff]$ consid]ably4 ,e ev5+ ,i w5t home1 & !n my spirits rose4 ,i w\ld climb on to ,papa's knee1 tell+ him :at m>ks ,i _h1 & 8 c>esses made me =get all my tr\bles4 ,) :at delight ,i ann\nc$ ! result ( my fir/ essay1 = ,i won ! maximum numb] ( m>ks4 ,9 rew>d ,i receiv$ a silv] co9 :i* ,i put 9 my money box = ! poor1 & ne>ly e ,?ursday ,i 0 able to increase ! fund4 ,inde$1 to be spoilt 0 a real necessity = me4 ,! ,little ,fl[] _h ne$ to /rike its t5d] roots deep] & deep] into ! de>ly lov$ g>d5 ( home1 = n[h]e else c\ld x f9d ! n\ri%m5t x requir$4 ,?ursday 0 a holiday1 b x 0 n l ! holidays ,i _h "u ,paul9e1 :i* ,i g5]ally sp5t up/airs ) ,papa4 ,n kn[+ h[ to play l o!r *ildr51 ,i felt myself a dull companion4 ,i tri$ my be/ to d z ! o!rs did1 b )\t success4 ,aft] ,cl9e1 :o 01 s to say1 indisp5sable to me1 ,i s\ght ! company ( my little c\s9 ,m>ie1 because %e left me free to *oose ! games ,i lik$ be/4 ,we 7 already closely unit$ 9 he>t & w1 z if ,god 7 %[+ u 9 advance h[ "o day 9 ! ,c>mel we %\ld embrace ! same religi\s life4#a ,v (t51 at my uncle's h\se1 we us$ to play at be+ two au/]e h]mits1 ) only a poor hut1 a little pat* ( corn1 & a g>d5 9 :i* to gr[ a few vegetables4 ,our life 0 to be sp5t 9 cont9ual contemplation1 "o pray+ :ile ! o!r engag$ 9 active duties4 ,all 0 done ) religi\s gravity & decorum4 ,if we w5t out1 ! make-believe cont9u$ ev5 9 ! /reet2 ! two h]mits w\ld say ! ,ros>y1 us+ _! f+]s to c\nt on1 s z n to display _! devotion be=e ^? :o might sc(f4 ,"o day1 h[ev]1 ! h]mit ,?rse =got h]self--be=e eat+ a cake1 giv5 h] = lun*1 %e made a l>ge ,sign ( ! ,cross1 & "s worldly folk did n repress a smile4 ,we 7 s b5t on always do+ ! same ?+ t sometimes we c>ri$ x too f>4 ,endeav\r+ "o ev5+1 on our way home f s*ool1 to imitate ! mode/ demean\r ( ! h]mits1 ,i said to ,m>ie3 ,lead me1 ,i am go+ to %ut my eyes4 ,s am ,i1 %e answ]$4 ,be+ on ! pavem5t we 7 9 no fe> ( vehicles1 & = a %ort :ile all w5t well1 & we enjoy$ walk+ ) our eyes %ut2 b pres5tly we bo? fell ov] "s boxes /&+ at a %op door & knock$ !m d[n4 ,! %opkeep] came out 9 a rage to replace !m1 b ! w\ld-be bl9d pair pick$ !mselves up & ran (f z fa/ z !y c\ld1 ) eyes wide op54 ,!n ! h]mits _h to li/5 to a well-des]v$ scold+ f ,jeanne1 ! maid1 :o seem$ z vex$ z ! %opkeep]4 ,i h n yet told y h[ ,cl9e & ,i alt]$ :5 we came to ,lisieux4 ,%e _h n[ become ! little romp1 full ( mis*ief1 :ile ,?rse _h turn$ into a v quiet little girl1 f> too mu* incl9$ to te>s4 ,i ne$$ a *ampion1 & :o c say h[ c\rage\sly my de> little si/] play$ t "p4 ,we us$ to enjoy mak+ ea* o!r little pres5ts1 =1 at t age1 ! simplicity ( our he>ts 0 unspoil$4 ,l ! spr+ fl[]s !y unfold$1 glad to receive ! morn+ dew1 :ile ! same s(t breezes sway$ _! petals4 ,yes1 our joys 7 mutual4 ,i felt ?is especially on ! happy day ( ,cl9e's ,fir/ ,communion2 ,i 0 only sev5 ye>s old1 & _h n yet begun s*ool at ! ,abbey4 ,h[ sweet is ! remembrance ( h] prep>ation6 ,e ev5+ dur+ its la/ weeks my si/]s talk$ to h] ( ! great ev5t4 ,i li/5$1 eag] to prep>e myself too1 & my he>t swell$ ) grief :5 ,i 0 told to g away because ,i 0 /ill too "y4 ,i ?\ght t f\r ye>s 0 n too long to sp5d 9 mak+ ready to receive ,our de> ,"l4 ,"o ev5+ ,i he>d someone say to my happy little si/]3 ,f ! "t ( y\r ,fir/ ,communion y mu/ beg9 an entirely new life4 ,at once ,i made a resolution n to wait till ! "t ( my ,fir/ ,communion1 b to beg9 ) ,cl9e4 ,dur+ h] retreat %e rema9$ z a bo>d] at ! ,abbey1 & x seem$ to me %e 0 away a long "t2 b at la/ ! happy day came4 ,:at a delightful impression x has left on my m9d--x 0 l a =eta/e ( my own ,fir/ ,communion6 ,h[ _m graces ,i receiv$ t day6 ,i look on x z "o ( ! mo/ beautiful ( my life4 ,i h gone back a little 9 ord] to recall ^! happy memories2 b n[ ,i mu/ tell y ( ! m\rnful p>t+ :i* cru%$ my he>t :5 ,our ,"l took f me my little ,"m :om ,i lov$ s de>ly4 ,i told h] once t ,i w\ld l to g away ) h] to a f>-(f des]t2 %e repli$ t x 0 h] wi% too1 b t %e 0 wait+ till ,i 0 big en\gh to set out4 ,?is impossible promise ,i took 9 e>ne/1 & :at 0 my grief :5 ,i he>d ,paul9e talk+ to ,m>ie ab\t soon ent]+ ! ,c>mel6 ,i did n "k ! ,c>mel2 b ,i knew t %e 0 leav+ me to ent] a conv5t1 & t %e w\ld n wait = me4 ,h[ c ,i describe ! angui% ,i suff]$6 ,9 a fla% ,i saw life spread out be=e me z x really is1 full ( suff]+s & frequ5t p>t+s1 & ,i %$ bitt] te>s4 ,at t "t ,i did n "k ! joy ( sacrifice2 ,i 0 weak--s weak t ,i look on x z a great grace t ,i 0 able to be> su* a trial1 "o seem+ly s mu* beyond my /r5g?--& yet live4 ,i %all nev] =get h[ t5d]ly my little ,"m consol$ me1 :ile expla9+ ! religi\s life4 ,!n "o ev5+1 :5 ,i 0 ?9k+ ov] ! picture %e _h drawn1 ,i felt t ! ,c>mel 0 ! des]t :]e ,god wi%$ me also to hide4 ,i felt ?is s /rongly t ,i _h n ! lea/ d\bt ab\t x2 nor 0 x a *ildi% dream1 b ! c]ta9ty ( a ,div9e ,call4 ,?is impression1 :i* ,i _c prop]ly describe1 left me ) a feel+ ( great inw>d peace4 ,next day ,i confid$ my desires to ,paul9e4 ,!y seem$ to h] z a pro( ( ,god's ,w1 & %e promis$ to take me soon to ! ,c>mel1 to see ! ,"m ,prioress & to tell h] my secret4 ,?is solemn visit 0 fix$ = a c]ta9 ,sunday1 & great 0 my emb>rassm5t on he>+ t my c\s9 ,m>ie--:o 0 /ill "y en\gh to be all[$ to see ! ,c>melites--0 to come ) u4#b ,i _h to contrive a means ( be+ alone ) ! ,rev]5d ,"m1 & ?is is :at ,i plann$4 ,i told ,m>ie1 t1 z we 7 to h ! great privilege ( see+ h]1 we mu/ be v good & polite1 & tell h] our little secrets1 & 9 ord] to d t1 we mu/ g out ( ! room 9 turns4 ,?\gh %e did n q l x1 because %e _h no secrets to confide1 ,m>ie took me at my ^w1 & s ,i 0 able to be alone ) y1 de> ,"m4 ,y li/5$ to my great disclosure1 & believ$ 9 my vocation1 b y told me t po/ulants 7 n receiv$ at ! age ( n9e1 & t ,i mu/ wait till ,i 0 sixte54 ,9 spite ( my ard5t desire to ent] ) ,paul9e & make my ,fir/ ,communion on h] clo?+ day1 ,i _h to be resign$4 ,at la/ ! #bnd ( ,octob] came--a day ( te>s1 b also ( bless+s1 :5 ,our ,"l ga!r$ ! fir/ ( ,8 fl[]s1 ! *os5 fl[] :o1 lat] on1 0 to become ! ,"m ( h] si/]s4#c ,:il/ ,papa1 ) my uncle & ,m>ie1 climb$ ! m\nta9 ( ,c>mel to (f] 8 fir/ sacrifice1 my aunt took me to ,mass1 ) my si/]s & c\s9s4 ,we 7 ba!d 9 te>s1 & p gaz$ at u 9 a/oni%m5t :5 we ent]$ ! *ur*1 b t did n /op our cry+4 ,i ev5 wond]$ h[ ! sun c\ld g on %9+4 ,p]haps1 de> ,"m1 y ?9k ,i exagg]ate my grief a little4 ,i confess t ?is p>t+ ought n to h upset me s mu*1 b my s\l 0 yet f> f mature1 & ,i _h to pass ?r\gh _m trials be=e rea*+ ! hav5 ( peace1 be=e ta/+ ! delici\s fruits ( p]fect love & ( complete ab&onm5t to ,god's ,w4 ,9 ! aft]noon ( t ,octob] day1 #ahhb1 beh9d ! grat+ ( ! ,c>mel1 ,i saw my belov$ ,paul9e1 n[ become ,si/] ,agnes ( ,jesus4 ,oh1 h[ mu* ,i suff]$ 9 t p>l\r6 ,z ,i am writ+ ! /ory ( my s\l1 x seems to me t ,i ought to tell y ev]y?+4 ,well1 ,i ackn[l$ge t ,i h>dly c\nt$ ! fir/ pa9s ( ?is p>t+1 9 comp>ison ) ^? :i* foll[$4 ,i1 :o _h be5 accu/om$ to talk ) my little ,"m ( all t 0 9 my he>t1 c\ld n[ sc>cely snat* two or ?ree m9utes ) h] at ! end ( ! family visits2 ev5 ^! %ort m9utes 7 pass$ 9 te>s1 & ,i w5t away ) my he>t torn ) grief4 ,i did n realise t x 0 impossible to give u ea* half an h\r1 & t ( c\rse ,papa & ,m>ie mu/ h ! l>ge/ %>e4 ,i c\ld n und]/& all ?is1 & ,i said f ! dep?s ( my he>t3 ,paul9e is lo/ to me4 ,?is suff]+ s affect$ me t ,i soon became s]i\sly ill4 ,! illness 0 und\bt$ly ! "w ( ! devil1 :o1 9 8 fury at ?is fir/ entry into ! ,c>mel1 tri$ to av5ge himself on me = ! great h>m my family 0 to d him 9 ! future4 ,h[ev]1 he little knew t ! ,que5 ( ,heav5 0 wat*+ fai?fully ov] h] ,little ,fl[]1 t %e 0 smil+ ^u x f on high1 ready to /ill ! tempe/ j :5 ! delicate & fragile /alk 0 9 dang] ( be+ brok5 once & = all4 ,at ! close ( ! ye> #ahhb ,i began to suff] f con/ant heada*es2 !y 7 be>able1 h[ev]1 & did n prev5t me f cont9u+ my /udies4 ,?is la/$ till ! ,ea/] ( #ahhc4 ,j !n ,papa w5t to ,p>is ) my eld] si/]s1 & confid$ ,cl9e & me to ! c>e ( our uncle & aunt4 ,"o ev5+ ,i 0 alone ) my uncle1 & he talk$ s t5d]ly ( my ,"m & ( bygone days t ,i 0 deeply mov$ & began to cry4 ,my s5sitiv5ess t\*$ him too2 he 0 surpris$ t "o ( my age %\ld feel z ,i did4 ,s he det]m9$ to d all he c\ld to div]t my m9d dur+ ! holidays4 ,b ,god _h decid$ o!rwise4 ,t v ev5+ my heada*e became acute1 & ,i 0 seiz$ ) a /range %iv]+ :i* la/$ all night4 ,my aunt1 l a real "m1 nev] left me = a mom5t2 all ?r\gh my illness %e lavi%$ on me ! mo/ t5d] & devot$ c>e4 ,y may imag9e my poor ,fa!r's grief :5 he return$ f ,p>is to f9d me 9 ?is hopeless /ate2 he ?\ght ,i 0 go+ to die1 b ,our ,"l might h said to him3 ,?is sickness is n unto dea?1 b = ! glory ( ,god4#d ,yes1 ,god 0 glorifi$ by means ( ?is trial1 by ! wond]ful resignation ( my ,fa!r & si/]s4 ,& to ,m>ie especially :at suff]+ x br\ght1 & h[ grateful ,i am to ?is de> si/]6 ,%e seem$ to div9e my wants by in/9ct1 = a "m's he>t is m kn[+ ?an ! sci5ce ( ! mo/ skilful doctors4 ,& n[ ,paul9e's clo?+ day 0 draw+ ne>2 b1 fe>+ to di/ress me1 no "o d>$ m5tion x 9 my pres5ce1 s9ce x 0 tak5 = grant$ t ,i %\ld n be well en\gh to be !re4 ,deep d[n 9 my he>t1 h[ev]1 ,i firmly believ$ t ,god w\ld give me ! consolation ( see+ de> ,paul9e on t day4 ,i 0 q sure t ?is fea/ w\ld be uncl\d$2 ,i knew t ,our ,"l w\ld n try ,8 ,sp\se by depriv+ h] ( my pres5ce1 %e _h already suff]$ s mu* on acc\nt ( my illness4 ,& s x turn$ out4 ,i 0 !re1 able to embrace my de> little ,"m1 to sit on h] knee1 &1 hid+ myself "u h] veil1 to receive h] lov+ c>esses4 ,i 0 able to fea/ my eyes ^u h]--%e look$ s lovely 9 h] veil & mantle ( :ite4 ,truly x 0 a day ( happ9ess 9 ! mid/ ( heavy trials2 b ?is day1 or r ?is h\r1 pass$ only too quickly1 & soon we 7 9 ! c>riage :i* 0 to take u away f ! ,c>mel4 ,on rea*+ home ,i 0 made to lie d[n1 ?\gh ,i did n feel at all tir$2 b next day ,i _h a s]i\s relapse1 & became s ill t1 humanly speak+1 !re 0 no hope ( any recov]y4 ,i d n "k h[ to describe ?is extraord9>y illness4 ,i said ?+s :i* ,i _h nev] ?\ght (2 ,i act$ z ?\gh ,i 7 =c$ to act 9 spite ( myself2 ,i seem$ ne>ly always to be deliri\s2 & yet ,i feel c]ta9 t ,i 0 nev]1 = a m9ute1 depriv$ ( my reason4 ,sometimes ,i rema9$ 9 a /ate ( extreme exhau/ion = h\rs toge!r1 unable to make ! lea/ movem5t1 & yet1 9 spite ( ?is extraord9>y torpor1 he>+ ! lea/ :isp]4 ,i rememb] x /ill4 ,& :at fe>s ! devil inspir$6 ,i 0 afraid ( ev]y?+2 my b$ seem$ to be surr\nd$ by frightful precipices2 nails 9 ! wall took ! t]rify+ appe>ance ( long f+]s1 %rivell$ & black5$ ) fire1 mak+ me cry out 9 t]ror4 ,"o day1 :ile ,papa /ood look+ at me 9 sil5ce1 ! hat 9 8 h& 0 sudd5ly trans=m$ into "s horrible %ape1 & ,i 0 s fright5$ t he w5t away sobb+4 ,b if ,god all[$ ! devil to approa* me 9 ?is op5 way1 ,angels too 7 s5t to console & /r5g!n me4 ,m>ie nev] left me1 & nev] %[$ ! lea/ trace ( we>9ess 9 spite ( all ! tr\ble ,i gave h]--= ,i c\ld n re/ :5 %e 0 away4 ,dur+ meals1 :5 ,victoire took c>e ( me1 ,i nev] ceas$ call+ te>fully ,m>ie6 ,m>ie6 ,:5 %e want$ to g out1 x 0 only if %e 7 go+ to ,mass or to see ,paul9e t ,i kept quiet4 ,z = ,lonie & my little ,cl9e1 !y c\ld n d en\gh = me4 ,on ,sundays !y %ut !mselves up = h\rs ) a poor *ild :o seem$ almo/ to h lo/ h] reason4 ,my own de> si/]s1 h[ mu* ,i made y suff]6 ,my uncle & aunt 7 also devot$ to me4 ,my aunt came to see me e day1 & br\ght me _m little gifts4 ,i c\ld nev] tell y h[ my love = ^! de> ones increas$ dur+ ?is illness4 ,i und]/ood bett] ?an ev] :at ,papa _h s (t5 told u3 ,always rememb]1 *ildr51 t y\r uncle & aunt h devot$ !mselves to y 9 a way t is q exceptional4 ,9 8 old age he exp]i5c$ ?is himself1 & n[ he mu/ bless & protect ^? :o lavi%$ ^u him su* affectionate c>e4#e ,:5 my suff]+s grew less1 my great delight 0 to weave g>l&s ( daisies & =get-me-nots = ,our ,lady's /atue4 ,we 7 9 ! beautiful mon? ( ,may1 :5 all nature is clo!d ) ! fl[]s ( spr+2 ! ,little ,fl[] alone droop$1 & seem$ z ?\gh x _h )]$ = ev]4 ,yet %e too _h a %9+ sun1 ! miracul\s /atue ( ! ,que5 ( ,heav54 ,h[ (t5 did n ! ,little ,fl[] turn t[>ds ?is glori\s ,sun6 ,"o day ,papa came into my room 9 ! deepe/ di/ress1 & ,i wat*$ him g up to ,m>ie & give h] "s money1 bidd+ h] write to ,p>is1 & h a nov5a ( ,masses said at ! %r9e ( ,our ,lady ( ,victories1#f to obta9 ! cure ( 8 poor little ,que54 ,h[ t\*+ 7 8 fai? & love6 ,h[ mu* ,i long$ to get up & tell him ,i 0 cur$6 ,alas6 my wi%es c\ld n "w a miracle1 & x ne$$ "o to re/ore me to heal?4 ,yes1 x ne$$ a great miracle1 & ?is 0 wr\ght by ,our ,lady ( ,victories h]self4 ,"o ,sunday1 dur+ ! nov5a1 ,m>ie w5t into ! g>d51 leav+ me ) ,lonie1 :o 0 read+ by ! w9d[4 ,aft] a %ort "t ,i began to call3 ,m>ie6 ,m>ie6 v s(tly4 ,lonie1 accu/om$ to he> me fret l ?is1 took no notice1 s ,i call$ l\d]1 until ,m>ie came back to me4 ,i saw h] come into ! room q well1 b1 = ! fir/ "t1 ,i fail$ to recognise h]4 ,i look$ all r\nd & glanc$ anxi\sly into ! g>d51 /ill call+3 ,m>ie6 ,m>ie6 ,h] angui% 0 p]haps great] ?an m9e1 & t 0 unutt]able4 ,at la/1 aft] _m fruitless ef=ts to make me recognise h]1 %e :isp]$ a few words to ,lonie1 & w5t away pale & trembl+4 ,lonie pres5tly c>ri$ me to ! w9d[4 ,!re ,i saw ! g>d51 & ,m>ie walk+ up & d[n1 b /ill ,i did n recognise h]2 %e came =w>d1 smil+1 & held out h] arms to me call+ t5d]ly3 ,?rse1 de> little ,?rse6 ,?is la/ ef=t fail+1 %e came 9 aga9 & knelt 9 te>s at ! foot ( my b$2 turn+ t[>ds ! /atue ( ,our ,lady1 %e entreat$ h] ) ! f]v\r ( a "m :o begs ! life ( h] *ild & w n be refus$4 ,lonie & ,cl9e jo9$ h]1 & t cry ( fai? =c$ ! gates ( ,heav54 ,i too1 f9d+ no help on e>? & ne>ly dead ) pa91 turn$ to my ,heav5ly ,"m1 begg+ h] f ! bottom ( my he>t to h pity on me4 ,sudd5ly ! /atue seem$ to come to life & gr[ beautiful1 ) a div9e beauty t ,i %all nev] f9d words to describe4 ,! expression ( ,our ,lady's face 0 ineffably sweet1 t5d]1 & compassionate2 b :at t\*$ me to ! v dep?s ( my s\l 0 h] graci\s smile4 ,!n1 all my pa9 vani%$1 two big te>s />t$ to my eyes & fell sil5tly4 4 4 4 ,!y 7 inde$ te>s ( unmix$ heav5ly joy4 ,our ,bless$ ,lady has come to me1 %e has smil$ at me4 ,h[ happy ,i am1 b ,i %all tell no "o1 or my happ9ess w leave me6 ,su* 7 my ?\ghts4 ,look+ ar\nd1 ,i recognis$ ,m>ie2 %e seem$ v mu* ov]come1 & look$ lov+ly at me1 z ?\gh %e guess$ t ,i _h j receiv$ a great grace4 ,inde$ h] pray]s _h ga9$ me ?is unspeakable fav\r--a smile f ! ,bless$ ,virg96 ,:5 %e saw me ) my eyes fix$ on ! /atue1 %e said to h]self3 ,?rse is cur$6 ,& x 0 true4 ,! ,little ,fl[] _h come to life aga9--a bright ray f its glori\s ,sun _h w>m$ & set x free = ev] f its cruel enemy4 ,! d>k w9t] is pa/1 ! ra9 is ov] & gone1#g & ,our ,lady's ,little ,fl[] ga!r$ su* /r5g? t five ye>s lat] x op5$ wide its petals on ! f]tile m\nta9 ( ,c>mel4 ,z ,i said be=e1 ,m>ie 0 conv9c$ t ,our ,bless$ ,lady1 :ile re/or+ my bodily heal?1 _h grant$ me "s hidd5 grace4 ,s1 :5 ,i 0 alone ) h]1 ,i c\ld n resi/ h] t5d] & press+ inquiries4 ,i 0 s a/oni%$ to f9d my secret already kn[n1 )\t my hav+ said a ^w1 t ,i told h] ev]y?+4 ,alas6 z ,i _h =ese51 my joy 0 turn$ into bitt]ness4 ,= f\r ye>s ! remembrance ( ?is grace 0 a cause ( real pa9 to me1 & x 0 only 9 ! bless$ sanctu>y ( ,our ,lady ( ,victories1 at my ,"m's feet1 t ,i once aga9 f\nd peace4 ,!re x 0 re/or$ to me 9 all its fulness1 z ,i w tell y lat]4 ,?is is h[ my joy 0 *ang$ into sadness4 ,:5 ,m>ie _h he>d ! *ildi%1 b p]fectly s9c]e1 acc\nt ( ! grace ,i _h receiv$1 %e begg$ my leave to tell !m at ! ,c>mel1 & ,i did n l to refuse h]4 ,my fir/ visit !re aft] my illness 0 full ( joy at see+ ,paul9e clo!d 9 ! habit ( ,our ,lady ( ,c>mel4 ,x 0 a happy "t = u bo?1 we _h s mu* to say1 we _h bo? suff]$ s mu*4 ,my he>t 0 s full t ,i c\ld h>dly speak4 ,y 7 !re1 de> ,"m1 & pla9ly %[$ y\r affection = me2 ,i saw sev]al o!r ,si/]s too1 & y mu/ rememb] h[ !y que/ion$ me ab\t my cure4 ,"s ask$ if ,our ,lady 0 hold+ ! ,infant ,jesus 9 h] arms1 o!rs if ! ,angels 7 ) h]1 & s on4 ,all ^! que/ions di/ress$ & griev$ me1 & ,i c\ld only make "o answ]3 ,our ,lady look$ v beautiful2 ,i saw h] come t[>ds me & smile4 ,b notic+ t ! nuns ?\ght some?+ q diff]5t _h happ5$ f :at ,i _h told !m1 ,i began to p]suade myself t ,i _h be5 guilty ( an untru?4 ,if only ,i _h kept my secret ,i %\ld h kept my happ9ess also4 ,b ,our ,lady all[$ ?is tr\ble to befall me = ! good ( my s\l2 p]haps )\t x vanity w\ld h crept into my he>t1 :]eas n[ ,i 0 humbl$1 & ,i look$ on myself ) feel+s ( contempt4 ,my ,god1 ,?\ alone kn[e/ all t ,i suff]$6 #a ,m>ie ,gur9 ent]$ ! ,c>mel at ,lisieux on ,augu/ #ae1 #ahie1 & took ! "n ( ,si/] ,m>y ( ! ,eu*>i/4 ,%e di$ on ,april #ad1 #aije1 ag$ ?irty-f\r4 #b ,) ! ,c>melites ! grat+ is only op5$ = ne> relatives & v "y *ildr54 ,ed4 #c ,paul9e has sev]al times be5 ,prioress ( ! ,c>mel ( ,lisieux1 & 9 #aiji aga9 succe$$ to t (fice on ! dea? ( ! "y & sa9tly ,"m ,m>y ( ,/4 ,angelus ( ! ,*ild ,jesus4 ,ed4 #d ,john #aa3d4 #e ,mme4 ,gur9 di$ holily on ,febru>y #ac1 #aijj1 ag$ fifty-two4 ,dur+ h] illness ,?rse assi/$ h] 9 an extraord9>y way1 sev]al times mak+ h] pres5ce felt4 ,monsieur ,gur91 hav+ = _m ye>s us$ 8 p5 9 def5ce ( ! ,*ur*1 & 8 =tune 9 ! support ( good works1 di$ a beautiful dea? on ,septemb] #bh1 #aiji1 9 8 sixty-n9? ye>4 ,ed4 #f ,x 0 9 ?is small *ur*--once des]t$ & to-day p]haps ! mo/ frequ5t$ 9 ,p>is--t ! sa9tly ,abb ,desg5ettes 0 inspir$ by ,our ,lady1 9 #ahcf1 to e/abli% ! ,confrat]nity ( ! ,immaculate ,he>t ( ,m>y = ! conv]sion ( s9n]s4 ,ed4 #g ,cant4 #b3aa4 ,,*apt] ,,iv ,,fir/ ,,communion ,,& ,,confirmation ,:ile describ+ ?is visit to ! ,c>mel1 my ?\ghts are c>ri$ back to ! fir/ "o :i* ,i paid aft] ,paul9e ent]$4 ,on ! morn+ ( t happy day1 ,i wond]$ :at "n w\ld be giv5 to me lat] on4 ,i knew t !re 0 already a ,si/] ,t]esa ( ,jesus2 nev]!less1 my beautiful "n ( ,?rse c\ld n be tak5 f me4 ,sudd5ly ,i ?\ght ( ! ,*ild ,jesus :om ,i lov$ s de>ly1 & ,i felt h[ mu* ,i %\ld l to be call$ ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus4 ,i 0 c>eful n to tell y ( my wi%1 de> ,"m1 yet y said to me1 9 ! middle ( our conv]sation3 ,:5 y come to u1 little "o1 y w be call$ ',t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus4' ,my joy 0 great inde$4 ,?is happy co9cid5ce ( ?\ght seem$ a special fav\r f ! ,holy ,*ild4 ,s f> ,i h n said any?+ ab\t my love = pictures & books1 & yet ,i owe "s ( ! happie/ & /ronge/ impressions :i* h enc\rag$ me 9 ! practice ( virtue to ! beautiful pictures ,paul9e us$ to %[ me4 ,ev]y?+ 0 =gott5 :ile look+ at !m4 ,= in/ance1 ,! ,little ,fl[] ( ! ,div9e ,prison] sugge/$ s _m ?\ghts t ,i w\ld rema9 gaz+ at x 9 a k9d ( ec/asy4 ,i (f]$ myself to ,our ,"l to be ,8 ,little ,fl[]2 ,i long$ to console ,him1 to draw z ne> z possible to ! ,tab]nacle1 to be look$ on1 c>$ =1 & ga!r$ by ,him4 ,z ,i 0 ( no use at games1 ,i %\ld h pref]r$ to sp5d all my "t 9 read+4 ,happily = me1 ,i _h visible gu>dian angels to guide me 9 ?is matt]2 !y *ose books suitable to my age1 :i* int]e/$ me & at ! same "t provid$ food = my ?\ghts & affections4 ,i 0 only all[$ a limit$ "t = ?is fav\rite recreation1 & x became an occasion ( mu* self-sacrifice1 = z soon z ! "t _h elaps$ ,i made x my duty to /op in/antly1 ev5 9 ! middle ( a mo/ int]e/+ passage4 ,z to ! impressions produc$ on me by ^! books1 ,i mu/ frankly own t1 9 read+ c]ta9 tales ( *ivalry1 ,i did n always und]/& ! realities ( life4 ,& s1 9 my admiration ( ! patriotic de$s ( ! h]o9es ( ,france1 especially ( ! ,v5]able ,joan ( ,arc1 ,i long$ to d :at !y _h done4 ,ab\t ?is "t ,i receiv$ :at ,i h look$ on z "o ( ! greate/ graces ( my life1 =1 at t age1 ,i 0 n fav\r$ ) lights f ,heav51 z ,i am n[4 ,our ,"l made me und]/& t ! only true glory is t :i* la/s = ev]2 & t to atta9 x !re is no necessity to d brilliant de$s1 b r to hide f ! eyes ( o!rs1 & ev5 f oneself1 s t ! left h& kn[s n :at ! "r h& does4#a ,!n1 z ,i reflect$ t ,i 0 born = great ?+s1 & s\ght ! means to atta9 !m1 x 0 made kn[n to me int]iorly t my p]sonal glory w\ld nev] reveal itself be=e ! eyes ( m51 b t x w\ld consi/ 9 becom+ a ,sa9t4 ,?is aspiration may v well appe> ra%1 see+ h[ imp]fect ,i 01 & am1 ev5 n[1 aft] s _m ye>s ( religi\s life2 yet ,i /ill feel ! same d>+ confid5ce t "o day ,i %all become a great ,sa9t4 ,i am n tru/+ 9 my own m]its1 = ,i h none2 b ,i tru/ 9 ,him ,:o is ,virtue & ,hol9ess itself4 ,x is ,he alone ,:o1 pleas$ ) my feeble ef=ts1 w raise me to ,himself1 &1 by clo?+ me ) ,8 m]its1 make me a ,sa9t4 ,at t "t ,i did n realise t to become "o x is necess>y to suff] a great deal2 b ,god soon disclos$ ?is secret to me by means ( ! trials ,i h relat$4 ,i mu/ n[ cont9ue my /ory :]e ,i left (f4 ,?ree mon?s aft] my cure ,papa took me away = a *ange4 ,x 0 a v pleasant "t1 & ,i began to see some?+ ( ! _w4 ,all ar\nd me 0 joy & gladness2 ,i 0 pett$1 made mu* (1 admir$--9 fact1 = a :ole =tnight my pa? 0 /rewn ) fl[]s4 ,! ,wise ,man is "r :5 he says3 ,! bewit*+ ( vanity ov]turne? ! innoc5t m9d4#b ,at t5 ye>s ( age ! he>t is easily fasc9at$1 & ,i confess t 9 my case ?is k9d ( life _h its *>ms4 ,alas6 ! _w kn[s well h[ to comb9e its pleasures ) ! s]vice ( ,god4 ,h[ little x ?9ks ( dea?6 ,& yet dea? has come to _m p ,i knew !n1 "y1 ri*1 & happy4 ,i recall to m9d ! delightful places :]e !y liv$1 & ask myself :]e !y are n[1 & :at pr(it !y d]ive to-day f ! beautiful h\ses & gr\nds :]e ,i saw !m enjoy+ all ! good ?+s ( ?is life1 & ,i reflect t ,all is vanity besides lov+ ,god & s]v+ ,him alone4#c ,p]haps ,our ,"l wi%$ me to "k some?+ ( ! _w be=e ,he paid ,8 fir/ visit to my s\l1 s t ,i might *oose m delib]ately ! way 9 :i* ,i 0 to foll[ ,him4 ,i %all always rememb] my ,fir/ ,communion ,day z "o ( uncl\d$ happ9ess4 ,x seems to me t ,i c\ld n h be5 bett] prep>$4 ,d y rememb]1 de> ,"m1 ! *>m+ little book y gave me ?ree mon?s be=e ! great day8 ,i f\nd 9 x a helpful me?od :i* prep>$ me gradually & ?or\ghly4 ,x is true ,i _h be5 ?9k+ ab\t my ,fir/ ,communion = a long "t1 b1 z y\r preci\s manuscript told me1 ,i mu/ /ir up 9 my he>t fre% transports ( love & fill x anew ) fl[]s4 ,s1 ea* day ,i made a numb] ( little sacrifices & acts ( love1 :i* 7 to be *ang$ into s _m fl[]s3 n[ violets1 ano!r "t roses1 !n cornfl[]s1 daisies1 or =get-me-nots--9 a ^w1 all nature's blossoms 7 to =m 9 me a cradle = ! ,holy ,*ild4 ,i _h ,m>ie1 too1 :o took ,paul9e's place4 ,e ev5+ ,i sp5t a long "t ) h]1 li/5+ eag]ly to all %e said4 ,h[ delightfully %e talk$ to me6 ,i felt myself set on fire by h] noble1 g5]\s _s4 ,z ! w>riors ( old tra9$ _! *ildr5 9 ! pr(ession ( arms1 s %e tra9$ me = ! battle ( life1 & r\s$ my ard\r by po9t+ to ! victor's glori\s palm4 ,%e spoke1 too1 ( ! imp]i%able ri*es :i* are s easy to amass ea* day1 & ( ! folly ( trampl+ !m "u foot :5 "o has b to /oop & ga!r !m4 ,:5 %e talk$ s eloqu5tly1 ,i 0 sorry t ,i 0 ! only "o to li/5 to h] tea*+1 =1 9 my simplicity1 x seem$ to me t ! greate/ s9n]s w\ld be conv]t$ if !y b he>d h]1 & t1 =sak+ ! p]i%able ri*es ( ?is _w1 !y w\ld seek none b ! ri*es ( ,heav54 ,i %\ld h lik$ at ?is "t to practise m5tal pray]1 b ,m>ie1 f9d+ me suffici5tly dev\t1 only let me say my vocal pray]s4 ,a mi/ress at ! ,abbey ask$ me once :at ,i did on holidays1 :5 ,i /ay$ at home4 ,i answ]$ timidly3 ,i (t5 hide myself 9 a corn] ( my room :]e ,i c %ut myself 9 ) ! b$ curta9s1 & !n ,i ?9k4 ,b :at d y ?9k ab\t8 said ! good nun1 laugh+4 ,i ?9k ab\t ! ,good ,god1 ab\t ! %ortness ( life1 & ab\t et]nity3 9 a ^w1 ,i ?9k4 ,my mi/ress did n =get ?is1 & lat] on %e us$ to rem9d me ( ! "t :5 ,i ?\ght1 ask+ me if ,i /ill ?\ght4 4 4 4 ,n[1 ,i "k t ,i 0 really pray+1 :ile my ,div9e ,ma/] g5tly in/ruct$ me4 ,! ?ree mon?s' prep>ation = ,fir/ ,communion pass$ quickly by2 x 0 soon "t = me to beg9 my retreat1 &1 dur+ x1 ,i /ay$ at ! ,abbey4 ,oh1 :at a bless$ retreat x 06 ,i d n ?9k t "o c exp]i5ce su* joy except 9 a religi\s h\se2 !re1 ) only a few *ildr51 x is easy = ea* "o to receive special att5tion4 ,i write ?is 9 a _s ( filial gratitude2 our mi/resses at ! ,abbey %[$ u a true mo!rly affection4 ,i d n "k :y1 b ,i saw pla9ly t !y wat*$ ov] me m c>efully ?an !y did ov] ! o!rs4 ,e night ! fir/ mi/ress1 c>ry+ h] little lamp1 op5$ my b$ curta9s s(tly1 & kiss$ me t5d]ly on ! =ehead4 ,%e %[$ me su* affection t1 t\*$ by h] k9dness1 ,i said "o night3 ,"m1 ,i love y s mu* t ,i am go+ to tell y a great secret4 ,!n ,i took f "u my pill[ ! preci\s little book y _h giv5 me1 & %[$ x to h]1 my eyes sp>kl+ ) pleasure4 ,%e op5$ x ) c>e1 &1 look+ ?r\gh x att5tively1 told me h[ privileg$ ,i 04 ,9 fact1 sev]al times dur+ ! retreat1 ! tru? came home to me t v few mo!rless *ildr5 ( my age are z lov+ly c>$ = z ,i 0 !n4 ,i li/5$ mo/ att5tively to ! in/ructions giv5 u by ,fa!r ,dom91 & wrote c>eful notes on !m1 b ,i did n put d[n any ( my own ?\ghts1 z ,i knew ,i %\ld rememb] !m q well4 ,& s x prov$4 ,h[ happy ,i 0 to att5d ,div9e ,(fice z ! nuns did6 ,i 0 easily di/+ui%$ f my companions by a l>ge crucifix1 :i* ,lonie _h giv5 me1 & :i*1 l ! mission>ies1 ,i c>ri$ 9 my belt4 ,!y ?\ght ,i 0 try+ to imitate my ,c>melite si/]1 & inde$ my ?\ghts did (t5 turn lov+ly to h]4 ,i knew %e 0 9 retreat too1 n t ,jesus might give ,himself to h]1 b t %e might give h]self entirely to ,jesus1 & ?is on ! same day z ,i made my ,fir/ ,communion4 ,! "t ( quiet wait+ 0 !re=e d\bly de> to me4 ,at la/ !re dawn$ ! mo/ beautiful day ( all ! days ( my life4 ,h[ p]fectly ,i rememb] ev5 ! smalle/ details ( ^? sacr$ h\rs6 ! joyful awak5+1 ! rev]5t & t5d] embraces ( my mi/resses & old] companions1 ! room fill$ ) sn[-:ite frocks1 :]e ea* *ild 0 dress$ 9 turn1 &1 above all1 our entrance into ! *apel & ! melody ( ! morn+ hymn3 ,o ,alt> ( ,god1 :]e ! ,angels are hov]+4 ,b ,i w\ld n & ,i c\ld n tell y all4 ,"s ?+s lose _! fragrance :5 expos$ to ! air1 & s1 too1 "o's inmo/ ?\ghts _c be translat$ into e>?ly words )\t in/antly los+ _! deep & heav5ly mean+4 ,h[ sweet 0 ! fir/ embrace ( ,jesus6 ,x 0 inde$ an embrace ( love4 ,i felt t ,i 0 lov$1 & ,i said3 ,i love ,!e1 & ,i give myself to ,!e = ev]4 ,jesus ask$ no?+ ( me1 & claim$ no sacrifice2 = a long "t ,he & little ,?rse _h kn[n & und]/ood "o ano!r4 ,t day our meet+ 0 m ?an simple recognition1 x 0 p]fect union4 ,we 7 no long] two4 ,?rse _h disappe>$ l a drop ( wat] lo/ 9 ! imm5sity ( ! ocean2 ,jesus alone rema9$--,he 0 ! ,ma/]1 ! ,k+6 ,_h n ,?rse ask$ ,him to take away h] lib]ty :i* fright5$ h]8 ,%e felt h]self s weak & frail1 t %e wi%$ to be = ev] unit$ to ! ,div9e ,/r5g?4 ,& !n my joy became s int5se1 s deep1 t x c\ld n be re/ra9$2 te>s ( happ9ess well$ up & ov]fl[$4 ,my companions 7 a/oni%$1 & ask$ ea* o!r aft]w>ds3 ,:y did %e cry8 ,_h %e any?+ on h] consci5ce8 ,no1 x is because nei!r h] ,"m nor h] de>ly lov$ ,c>melite si/] is "h4 ,& no "o und]/ood t all ! joy ( ,heav5 _h come d[n into "o he>t1 & t ?is he>t1 exil$1 weak1 & mortal z x 01 c\ld n conta9 x )\t te>s4 ,h[ c\ld my ,"m's abs5ce grieve me on my ,fir/ ,communion ,day8 ,z ,heav5 itself dwelt 9 my s\l1 9 receiv+ a visit f ,our ,div9e ,"l ,i receiv$ "o f my de> ,"m too4 ,nor 0 ,i cry+ on acc\nt ( ,paul9e's abs5ce1 = we 7 ev5 m closely unit$ ?an be=e4 ,no1 ,i repeat x--joy alone1 a joy too deep = words1 ov]fl[$ )9 me4 ,dur+ ! aft]noon ,i read ! act ( consecration to ,our ,lady1 = myself & my companions4 ,i 0 *os5 probably because ,i _h be5 depriv$ ( my e>?ly ,"m :ile /ill s "y4 ,) all my he>t ,i consecrat$ myself to ! ,bless$ ,virg9 ,m>y1 & ask$ h] to wat* ov] me4 ,%e seem$ to look lov+ly on h] ,little ,fl[] & to smile at h] aga91 & ,i ?\ght ( ! visible smile :i* _h once cur$ me1 & ( all ,i ow$ h]4 ,_h %e n h]self1 on ! morn+ ( t #h? ( ,may1 plac$ 9 ! g>d5 ( my s\l h] ,son ,jesus--! ,fl[] ( ! field & ! ,lily ( ! valleys8#d ,on ! ev5+ ( ?is happy day ,papa & ,i w5t to ! ,c>mel1 & ,i saw ,paul9e1 n[ become ! ,sp\se ( ,*ri/4 ,%e wore a :ite veil l m9e & a cr[n ( roses4 ,my joy 0 uncl\d$1 = ,i hop$ soon to jo9 h]1 & at h] side to wait = ,heav54 ,i 0 pleas$ ) ! fea/ prep>$ = me at home1 & 0 delight$ ) ! beautiful wat* giv5 to me by ,papa4 ,my happ9ess 0 p]fect1 & no?+ tr\bl$ ! inw>d peace ( my s\l4 ,night came1 & s end$ t beautiful day4 ,ev5 ! brighte/ days are foll[$ by d>kness2 "o alone w "k no sett+1 ! day ( ! ,fir/ & ,et]nal ,communion 9 our true ,home4 ,someh[ ! next day seem$ sorr[ful4 ,! pretty clo!s & ! pres5ts ,i _h receiv$ c\ld n satisfy me4 ,h5ce=? ,our ,"l alone c\ld fill my he>t1 & all ,i long$ = 0 ! blissful mom5t :5 ,i %\ld receive ,him aga94 ,i made my second ,communion on ,asc5sion ,day1 & _h ! happ9ess ( kneel+ at ! rails betwe5 ,papa & ,m>ie4 ,my te>s fl[$ ) inexpressible sweetness2 ,i kept repeat+ ^? words ( ,/4 ,paul3 ,i live n[1 n ,i2 b ,*ri/ live? 9 me4#e ,aft] ?is second visit ( ,our ,"l ,i long$ = no?+ else b to receive ,him4 ,alas6 ! fea/s seem$ s f> ap>t4 4 4 4 ,on ! eve ( ^! happy days ,m>ie help$ me to prep>e1 z %e _h done = my ,fir/ ,communion4 ,i rememb] once %e spoke ( suff]+1 & said t 9 all probability1 in/ead ( mak+ me walk by ?is road1 ,god1 9 ,8 goodness1 w\ld c>ry me always l a little *ild4 ,h] words came into my m9d next day aft] my ,communion2 my he>t became inflam$ ) an ard5t desire = suff]+1 & ,i felt conv9c$ t _m crosses 7 9 /ore = me4 ,!n my s\l 0 flood$ ) su* consolation z ,i h nev] s9ce exp]i5c$4 ,suff]+ became attractive1 & ,i f\nd 9 x *>ms :i* held me spellb\nd1 ?\gh z yet ,i did n appreciate !m to ! full4 ,i _h "o o!r great wi%2 x 0 to love ,god only1 & to f9d my joy 9 ,him alone4 ,dur+ my ?anksgiv+ aft] ,holy ,communion ,i (t5 repeat$ ?is passage f ! ,imitation ( ,*ri/3 ,o my ,god1 :o art unspeakable sweetness1 turn = me into bitt]ness all ! consolations ( e>?4#f ,^! words rose to my lips q naturally2 ,i said !m l a *ild1 :o1 )\t well und]/&+1 repeats :at a fri5d may sugge/4 ,lat] on ,i w tell y1 de> ,"m1 h[ ,our ,"l has be5 pleas$ to fulfill my desire1 h[ ,he1 & ,he alone1 has always be5 my joy2 b if ,i 7 to speak ( x n[ ,i %\ld h to pass on to my girlhood1 & !re is /ill mu* to tell y ( my e>ly days4 ,soon aft] my ,fir/ ,communion ,i w5t into retreat aga91 be=e be+ confirm$4 ,i prep>$ myself ) ! greate/ c>e = ! com+ ( ! ,holy ,gho/2 ,i c\ld n und]/& anyone n do+ s be=e receiv+ ?is ,sacram5t ( ,love4 ,z ! c]emony c\ld n take place on ! day fix$1 ,i _h ! consolation ( rema9+ some:at long] 9 retreat4 ,h[ happy ,i felt6 ,l ! ,apo/les1 ,i look$ ) joy = ! promis$ ,com=t]1 gladd5$ by ! ?\ght t ,i %\ld soon be a p]fect ,*ri/an1 & h ! holy ,cross1 ! symbol ( ?is wondr\s ,sacram5t1 trac$ ^u my =ehead = et]nity4 ,i did n feel ! mighty w9d ( ! fir/ ,p5teco/1 b r ! g5tle breeze :i* ! prophet ,elias he>d on ,m\nt ,horeb4 ,on t day ,i receiv$ ! gift ( =titude 9 suff]+--a gift ,i ne$$ sorely1 = ! m>tyrdom ( my s\l 0 soon to beg94 ,:5 ^! delightful fea/s1 :i* c nev] be =gott51 7 ov]1 ,i _h to resume my life z a day s*ol>1 at ! ,abbey4 ,i made good progress ) my lessons1 & rememb]$ easily ! s5se ( :at ,i read1 b ,i _h ! greate/ difficulty 9 le>n+ by he>t2 only at cate*ism 7 my ef=ts cr[n$ ) success4 ,! ,*apla9 call$ me 8 little ,doctor ( ,!ology1#g no d\bt because ( my "n1 ,?rse4 ,dur+ recreation ,i (t5 gave myself up to s]i\s ?\ghts1 :ile f a di/ance ,i wat*$ my companions at play4 ,?is 0 my fav\rite occupation1 b ,i _h ano!r :i* gave me real pleasure4 ,i w\ld se>* c>efully = any poor little birds t _h fall5 dead "u ! big trees1 & ,i !n buri$ !m ) great c]emony1 all 9 ! same cemet]y1 9 a special grass plot4 ,sometimes ,i told /ories to my companions1 & (t5 ev5 ! big girls came to li/52 b soon our mi/ress1 v rightly1 br\ght my c>e] z an orator to an end1 say+ %e want$ u to ex]cise our bodies & n our bra9s4 ,at ?is "t ,i *ose z fri5ds two little girls ( my own age2 b h[ %all[ are ! he>ts ( creatures6 ,"o ( !m _h to /ay at home = "s mon?s2 :ile %e 0 away ,i ?\ght ab\t h] v (t51 & on h] return ,i %[$ h[ pleas$ ,i 04 ,h[ev]1 all ,i got 0 a glance ( indiff]5ce--my fri5d%ip 0 n appreciat$4 ,i felt ?is v ke5ly1 & ,i no long] s\ght an affection :i* _h prov$ s incon/ant4 ,nev]!less ,i /ill love my little s*ool fri5d1 & cont9ue to pray = h]1 = ,god has giv5 me a fai?ful he>t1 & :5 once ,i love1 ,i love = ev]4 ,obs]v+ t "s ( ! girls 7 v devot$ to "o or o!r ( ! mi/resses1 ,i tri$ to imitate !m1 b ,i nev] succe$$ 9 w9n+ special fav\r4 ,o happy failure1 f h[ _m evils h y sav$ me6 ,i am mo/ ?ankful to ,our ,"l t ,he let me f9d only bitt]ness 9 e>?ly fri5d%ips4 ,) a he>t l m9e1 ,i %\ld h be5 tak5 captive & _h my w+s clipp$1 & h[ !n %\ld ,i h be5 able to fly away & be at re/8#h ,h[ c a he>t giv5 up to human affections be closely unit$ to ,god8 ,x seems to me t x is impossible4 ,i h se5 s _m s\ls1 allur$ by ?is false light1 fly "r into x l poor mo?s1 & burn _! w+s1 & !n return1 w\nd$1 to ,our ,"l1 ! ,div9e fire :i* burns & does n consume4 ,i "k well ,our ,"l saw t ,i 0 too weak to be expos$ to temptation1 =1 )\t d\bt1 _h ! deceitful light ( creat$ love dazzl$ my eyes1 ,i %\ld h be5 entirely consum$4 ,:]e /rong s\ls f9d joy & practise deta*m5t fai?fully1 ,i only f\nd bitt]ness4 ,no m]it1 !n1 is due to me = n hav+ giv5 up to ^! frail ties1 s9ce ,i 0 only pres]v$ f !m by ! ,m]cy ( ,god4 ,i fully realis$ t )\t ,him ,i %\ld h fall5 z l[ z ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal51 & ! ,div9e ,ma/]'s words re-e*o$ sweetly 9 my s\l4 ,yes1 ,i "k t ,to :om less is =giv5 he love? less1#i b ,i "k too t ,our ,"l has =giv5 me m ?an ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal54 ,"h is an example :i* w1 at any rate1 %[ y "s ( my ?\ghts4 ,let u suppose t ! son ( a v clev] doctor1 /umbl+ ov] a /one on ! road1 falls & breaks 8 leg4 ,8 fa!r ha/5s to him1 lifts him lov+ly1 & b9ds up ! fractur$ limb1 putt+ =? all 8 skill4 ,! son1 :5 cur$1 displays ! utmo/ gratitude1 & he has excell5t reason = do+ s4 ,b let u take ano!r supposition4 ,! fa!r1 aw>e t a dang]\s /one lies 9 8 son's pa?1 is be=eh& ) ! dang] & removes x1 unse5 by anyone4 ,! son1 ?us t5d]ly c>$ =1 n kn[+ ( ! mi%ap f :i* 8 fa!r's h& has sav$ him1 naturally w n %[ him any gratitude1 & w love him less ?an if he _h cur$ him ( a griev\s w\nd4 ,b suppose he he>d ! :ole tru?1 w\ld he n 9 t case love him /ill m8 ,well n[1 ,i am ?is *ild1 ! object ( ! =esee+ love ( a ,fa!r ,:o did n s5d ,8 son to call ! j1 b s9n]s4#aj ,he wi%es me to love ,him1 because ,he has =giv5 me1 n mu*1 b ev]y?+4 ,)\t wait+ = me to love ,him mu*1 z ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal5 did1 ,he has made me und]/& h[ ,he has lov$ me ) an ineffable love & =e?\ght1 s t n[ my love may "k no b\nds4 ,i _h (t5 he>d x said1 bo? 9 retreats & else:]e1 t ,he is m deeply lov$ by rep5tant s\ls ?an by ^? :o h n lo/ _! baptismal innoc5ce4 ,ah6 ,if ,i c\ld b give ! lie to ^? words4 4 4 4 ,b ,i h w&]$ s f> f my subject t ,i h>dly "k :]e to beg9 aga94 ,x 0 dur+ ! retreat be=e my second ,communion t ,i 0 attack$ by ! t]rible disease ( scruples4 ,"o mu/ h pass$ ?r\gh ?is m>tyrdom to und]/& x4 ,x w\ld be q impossible = me to tell y :at ,i suff]$ = ne>ly two ye>s4 ,all my ?\ghts & actions1 ev5 ! simple/1 7 a s\rce ( tr\ble & angui% to me2 ,i _h no peace till ,i _h told ,m>ie ev]y?+1 & ?is 0 mo/ pa9ful1 s9ce ,i imag9$ ,i 0 oblig$ to tell absolutely all my ?\ghts1 ev5 ! mo/ extravagant4 ,z soon z ,i _h unburd5$ myself ,i felt a mom5t>y peace1 b x pass$ l a fla%1 & my m>tyrdom began aga94 ,_m an occasion = pati5ce did ,i provide = my de> si/]4 ,t ye> we sp5t a =tnight ( our holidays at ! sea-side4 ,my aunt1 :o always %[$ u su* mo!rly c>e1 treat$ u to all possible pleasures--donkey rides1 %rimp+1 & ! re/4 ,%e ev5 spoil$ u 9 ! matt] ( clo!s4 ,i rememb] "o day %e gave me "s pale blue ribbon2 al?\gh ,i 0 twelve & a half1 ,i 0 /ill su* a *ild t ,i q enjoy$ ty+ x 9 my hair4 ,b ?is *ildi% pleasure seem$ s9ful to me1 & ,i _h s _m scruples t ,i _h to g to ,confession1 ev5 at ,tr\ville4 ,:ile ,i 0 !re ,i _h an exp]i5ce :i* did me good4 ,my c\s9 ,m>ie (t5 suff]$ f sick heada*es4 ,on ^! occasions my aunt us$ to fondle h] & coax h] ) ! mo/ ende>+ names1 b ! only response 0 cont9ual te>s & ! unceas+ cry3 ,my head a*es6 ,i _h a heada*e ne>ly e day1 ?\gh ,i did n say s2 b "o ev5+ ,i ?\ght ,i w\ld imitate ,m>ie4 ,s ,i sat d[n 9 an arm*air 9 a corn] ( ! room1 & set to "w to cry4 ,my aunt1 z well z my c\s9 ,jeanne1 to :om ,i 0 v devot$1 ha/5$ to me to "k :at 0 ! matt]4 ,i answ]$ l ,m>ie3 ,my head a*es4 ,x w\ld seem t compla9+ 0 n 9 my l9e2 no "o w\ld believe t a heada*e 0 ! reason ( my te>s4 ,in/ead ( pett+ me z usual1 my aunt spoke to me s]i\sly4 ,ev5 ,jeanne reproa*$ me1 v k9dly x is true1 & 0 griev$ at my want ( simplicity & tru/ 9 my aunt4 ,%e ?\ght ,i _h a big scruple1 & 0 n giv+ ! real reason ( my te>s4 ,at la/1 gett+ no?+ = my pa9s1 ,i made up my m9d n to imitate o!r p any m4 ,i ?\ght ( ! fable ( ! ass & ! little dog2 ,i 0 ! ass1 :o1 see+ t ! little dog got all ! pett+1 put 8 clumsy ho( on ! table to try & secure 8 %>e4 ,if ,i did n h a beat+ l ! poor bea/1 at any rate ,i got :at ,i des]v$--a sev]e lesson1 :i* cur$ me once = all ( ! desire to attract att5tion4 ,i mu/ g back n[ to ! subject ( my scruples4 ,!y made me s ill t ,i 0 oblig$ to leave s*ool :5 ,i 0 ?irte54 ,9 ord] to cont9ue my education1 ,papa took me sev]al times a week to a lady :o 0 an excell5t tea*]4 ,h] lessons s]v$ ! d\ble purpose ( in/ruct+ me & mak+ me associate ) o!r p4 ,visitors 7 (t5 %[n into ! old-fa%ion$ room :]e ,i sat ) my books & ex]cises4 ,z f> z possible my tea*]'s "m c>ri$ on ! conv]sation1 b /ill ,i did n le>n mu* :ile x la/$4 ,seem+ly absorb$ 9 my book1 ,i c\ld he> _m ?+s x w\ld h be5 bett] = me n to he>4 ,"o lady said ,i _h beautiful hair2 ano!r ask$1 z %e left1 :o 0 t pretty little girl4 ,su* rem>ks1 ! m flatt]+ because ,i 0 n meant to he> !m1 gave me a feel+ ( pleasure :i* %[$ pla9ly t ,i 0 full ( self-love4 ,i am v sorry = s\ls :o lose !mselves 9 ?is way4 ,x is s easy to g a/ray 9 ! s$uctive pa?s ( ! _w4 ,)\t d\bt1 = a s\l some:at advanc$ 9 virtue1 ! sweetness (f]$ by ! _w is m+l$ ) bitt]ness1 & ! imm5se void ( its desires _c be fill$ by ! flatt]y ( a mom5t2 b ,i repeat1 if my he>t _h n be5 lift$ up t[>ds ,god f ! fir/ mom5t ( consci\sness1 if ! _w _h smil$ on me f ! beg9n+ ( my life1 :at %\ld ,i h become8 ,de>e/ ,"m1 ) :at a grateful he>t d ,i s+ ! ,m]cies ( ! ,"l6 ,has ,he n1 accord+ to ! words ( ,holy ,wisdom1 tak5 me away f ! _w le/ wick$ness %\ld alt] my und]/&+1 or deceit beguile my s\l8#aa ,mean:ile ,i resolv$ to consecrate myself 9 a special way to ,our ,bless$ ,lady1 & ,i begg$ to be enroll$ among ! ,*ildr5 ( ,m>y4#ab ,to ga9 ?is fav\r ,i _h to g twice a week to ! ,conv5t1 & ,i mu/ confess ?is co/ me some?+1 ,i 0 s %y4 ,!re 0 no "q ( ! affection ,i felt t[>ds my mi/resses1 b1 z ,i said be=e1 ,i _h no special fri5d among !m1 ) :om ,i c\ld h sp5t _m h\rs l o!r old pupils4 ,s ,i work$ 9 sil5ce till ! end ( ! lesson1 & !n1 z no "o took any notice ( me1 ,i w5t to ! tribune 9 ! ,*apel till ,papa came to fet* me home4 ,"h1 dur+ ?is sil5t visit1 ,i f\nd my "o consolation--= 0 n ,jesus my only ,fri5d8 ,to ,him alone c\ld ,i op5 my he>t2 all conv]sation ) creatures1 ev5 on holy subjects1 we>i$ me4 ,x is true t 9 ^! p]iods ( lonel9ess ,i sometimes felt sad1 & ,i us$ (t5 to console myself by repeat+ ?is l9e ( a beautiful poem ,papa _h taught me3 ,"t is ?y b>que1 & n ?y dwell+-place4 ,"y z ,i 01 ^! words re/or$ my c\rage1 & ev5 n[1 9 spite ( hav+ outgr[n _m pi\s impressions ( *ildhood1 ! symbol ( a %ip always delights me & helps me to be> ! exile ( ?is life4 ,does n ! ,wise ,man tell u--,life is l a %ip t passe? ?r\gh ! waves3 :5 x is gone by1 ! trace !re( _c be f\nd8#ac ,:5 my ?\ghts run on 9 ?is way1 my s\l loses itself z x 7 9 ! inf9ite2 ,i seem already to t\* ! ,heav5ly ,%ore & to receive ,our ,"l's embrace4 ,i fancy ,i c see ,our ,bless$ ,lady com+ to meet me1 ) my ,fa!r & ,"m1 my little bro!rs & si/]s2 & ,i picture myself enjoy+ true family joys = all et]nity4 ,b be=e rea*+ ,our ,fa!r's ,home 9 ,heav51 ,i _h to g ?r\gh _m p>t+s on ?is e>?4 ,! ye> 9 :i* ,i 0 made a ,*ild ( ,m>y1 ,our ,lady took f me my si/] ,m>ie1 ! only support ( my s\l1#ad my oracle & insep>able companion s9ce ! dep>ture ( ,paul9e4 ,z soon z ,i knew ( h] decision1 ,i made up my m9d to take no fur!r pleasure 9 any?+ "h bel[4 ,i c\ld n tell y h[ _m te>s ,i %$4 ,b at ?is "t ,i 0 mu* giv5 to cry+1 n only ov] big ?+s1 b ov] trifl+ ones too4 ,= in/ance3 ,i 0 v anxi\s to advance 9 virtue1 b ,i w5t ab\t x 9 a /range way4 ,i 0 n accu/om$ to wait on myself2 ,cl9e always arrang$ our room1 & ,i nev] did any h\sehold "w4 ,sometimes1 9 ord] to please ,our ,"l1 ,i us$ to make my b$1 or1 if %e 7 out 9 ! ev5+1 to br+ 9 h] plants & se$l+s4 ,z ,i said be=e1 x 0 simply to please ,our ,"l t ,i did ^! ?+s1 & s ,i ought n to h expect$ any ?anks f creatures4 ,b1 alas6 ,i did expect !m1 &1 if un=tunately ,cl9e did n seem surpris$ & grateful = my little s]vices1 ,i 0 n pleas$1 & te>s rose to my eyes4 ,aga91 if by accid5t ,i (f5d$ anyone1 in/ead ( tak+ x 9 ! "r way1 ,i frett$ till ,i made myself ill1 ?us mak+ my fault worse1 in/ead ( m5d+ x2 & :5 ,i began to realise my fooli%ness1 ,i w\ld cry = hav+ cri$4 ,9 fact1 ,i made tr\bles out ( ev]y?+4 ,n[1 ?+s are q diff]5t4 ,god 9 ,8 goodness has giv5 me grace n to be ca/ d[n by any pass+ difficulty4 ,:5 ,i ?9k ( :at ,i us$ to be1 my he>t ov]fl[s ) gratitude4 ,! graces ,i h receiv$ h *ang$ me s completely1 t ,i am sc>cely ! same p]son4 ,aft] ,m>ie ent]$ ! ,c>mel1 & ,i no long] _h h] to li/5 to my scruples1 ,i turn$ t[>ds ,heav5 & confid$ !m to ! f\r little angels :o _h already gone be=e me1 = ,i ?\ght t ^! innoc5t s\ls1 :o _h nev] kn[n sorr[ or fe>1 ought to h pity on _! poor little suff]+ si/]4 ,i talk$ to !m ) *ildi% simplicity1 tell+ !m t1 z ,i 0 ! y\nge/ ( ! family1 ,i _h always be5 ! mo/ pett$ & lov$ by my p>5ts & si/]s2 t if !y _h rema9$ on e>? !y w\ld no d\bt h giv5 me ! same pro(s ( _! affection4 ,! fact t !y _h gone to ,heav5 seem$ no reason :y !y %\ld =get me--on ! contr>y1 z !y 7 able to draw =m ! treasury ( ,heav51 !y ought to obta9 = me ! grace ( peace1 & prove t !y /ill knew h[ to love me4 ,! answ] 0 n long 9 com+2 soon my s\l 0 flood$ ) ! sweete/ peace4 ,i knew t ,i 0 lov$1 n only on e>? b also 9 ,heav54 ,f t "t my devotion = ^! little bro!rs & si/]s increas$2 ,i lov$ to talk to !m & tell !m ( all ! sorr[s ( ?is exile1 & ( my wi% to jo9 !m soon 9 our ,et]nal ,home4 #a ,cf4 ,matt4 #f3c4 #b ,wisdom #d3ab4 #c ,imit41 ,i1 *4 i4 #c4 #d ,cant4 #b3a4 #e ,gal4 #b3bj4 #f ,imit41 ,,iii1 *4 xxvi4 #c4 #g ,/4 ,t]esa1 :o re=m$ ! ,c>melite ,ord]1 & di$ 9 #aehb1 is sometimes call$ ! ,doctor ( ,my/ical ,!ology1 because ( h] lum9\s writ+s on ! relations ( ! s\l ) ,god 9 pray]4 ,ed4 #h ,ps4 #edee3g4 #i ,luke #g3dg4 #aj ,luke #e3cb4 #aa ,cf4 ,wisdom #d3aa4 #ab ,x 0 on ,may #ca1 #ahhf1 t %e became a ,sodali/ ( ,our ,lady4 ,ed4 #ac ,wisdom #e3aj4 #ad ,m>ie ent]$ ! ,c>mel ( ,lisieux on ,octob] #ae1 #ahhf1 tak+ ! "n ( ,si/] ,m>y ( ! ,sacr$ ,he>t4 ,,*apt] ,v ,,vocation ,,( ,,?,r,,se ,i 0 f> f m]it+ all ! graces :i* ,our ,"l %[]$ on me4 ,i _h a con/ant & ard5t desire to advance 9 virtue1 b (t5 my actions 7 spoilt by imp]fections4 ,my extreme s5sitiv5ess made me almo/ unbe>able4 ,all argum5ts 7 useless4 ,i simply c\ld n correct myself ( ?is mis]able fault4 ,h[1 !n1 c\ld ,i hope soon to be admitt$ to ! ,c>mel8 ,a miracle on a small scale 0 ne$$ to give me /r5g? ( "* all at once1 & ,god work$ ?is long-desir$ miracle on ,*ri/mas ,day1 #ahhf4 ,on t bless$ night ! sweet ,infant ,jesus1 sc>ce an h\r old1 fill$ ! d>kness ( my s\l ) floods ( light4 ,by becom+ weak & little1 = love ( me1 ,he made me /rong & brave2 ,he put ,8 own weapons into my h&s1 s t ,i w5t f victory to victory1 beg9n+1 if ,i may say s1 to run z a giant4#a ,! f\nta9 ( my te>s 0 dri$ up1 & f t "t !y fl[$ nei!r easily nor (t54 ,n[ ,i w tell y1 de> ,"m1 h[ ,i receiv$ ?is ine/imable grace ( complete conv]sion4 ,i knew t :5 we rea*$ home aft] ,midnight ,mass ,i %\ld f9d my %oes 9 ! *imney-corn]1 fill$ ) pres5ts1 j z :5 ,i 0 a little *ild1 :i* proves t my si/]s /ill treat$ me z a baby4 ,papa1 too1 lik$ to wat* my enjoym5t & he> my cries ( delight at ea* fre% surprise t came f ! magic %oes1 & 8 pleasure add$ to m9e4 ,b ! "t _h come :5 ,our ,"l wi%$ to free me f *ildhood's fail+s1 & ev5 )draw me f its innoc5t pleasures4 ,on ?is occasion1 in/ead ( indulg+ me z he g5]ally did1 ,papa seem$ vex$1 & on my way up/airs ,i he>d him say3 ,really all ?is is too babyi% = a big girl l ,?rse1 & ,i hope x is ! la/ ye> x w happ54 ,8 words cut me to ! quick4 ,cl9e1 kn[+ h[ s5sitive ,i 01 :isp]$3 ,don't g d[n/airs j yet--wait a little1 y w\ld cry too mu* if y look$ at y\r pres5ts be=e ,papa4 ,b ,?rse 0 no long] ! same--,jesus _h *ang$ h] he>t4 ,*ok+ back my te>s1 ,i ran d[n to ! d9+-room1 &1 ?\gh my he>t beat fa/1 ,i pick$ up my %oes1 & gaily pull$ out all ! ?+s1 look+ z happy z a que54 ,papa laugh$1 & did n %[ any trace ( displeasure1 & ,cl9e ?\ght %e mu/ be dream+4 ,b happily x 0 a reality2 little ,?rse _h rega9$1 once = all1 ! /r5g? ( m9d :i* %e _h lo/ at ! age ( f\r & a half4 ,on ?is night ( grace1 ! ?ird p]iod ( my life began--! mo/ beautiful ( all1 ! "o mo/ fill$ ) heav5ly fav\rs4 ,9 an in/ant ,our ,"l1 satisfi$ ) my good w1 accompli%$ ! "w ,i _h n be5 able to d dur+ all ^! ye>s4 ,l ! ,apo/le ,i c\ld say3 ,ma/]1 we h lab\r$ all night1 & h tak5 no?+4#b ,m m]ciful to me ev5 ?an to ,8 belov$ disciples1 ,our ,"l ,himself took ! net1 ca/ x1 & drew x out full ( fi%es4 ,he made me a fi%] ( m54 ,love & a _s ( self-=getfulness took possession ( me1 & f t "t ,i 0 p]fectly happy4 ,"o ,sunday1 clos+ my book at ! end ( ,mass1 a picture ( ,our ,"l on ! ,cross half slipp$ out1 %[+ only "o ( ,8 ,div9e ,h&s1 pi]c$ & ble$+4 ,i felt an indescribable ?rill su* z ,i _h nev] felt be=e4 ,my he>t 0 torn ) grief to see t ,preci\s ,blood fall+ to ! gr\nd1 & no "o c>+ to treasure ,x z ,x fell1 & ,i resolv$ to rema9 cont9ually 9 _s at ! foot ( ! ,cross1 t ,i might receive ! ,div9e ,dew ( ,salvation & p\r x =? ^u s\ls4 ,f t day ! cry ( my dy+ ,savi\r--,i ?ir/6--s\nd$ incessantly 9 my he>t1 & k9dl$ !re9 a burn+ zeal hi!rto unkn[n to me4 ,my "o desire 0 to give my ,belov$ to dr9k2 ,i felt myself consum$ ) ?ir/ = s\ls1 & ,i long$ at any co/ to snat* s9n]s f ! ev]la/+ flames ( hell4 ,9 ord] /ill fur!r to enk9dle my ard\r1 ,our ,div9e ,ma/] soon prov$ to me h[ pleas+ to him 0 my desire4 ,j !n ,i he>d mu* talk ( a notori\s crim9al1 ,pranz9i1 :o 0 s5t5c$ to dea? = sev]al %ock+ murd]s1 &1 z he 0 q imp5it5t1 ev]yone fe>$ he w\ld be et]nally lo/4 ,h[ ,i long$ to av]t ?is irrep>able calamity6 ,9 ord] to d s ,i employ$ all ! spiritual means ,i c\ld ?9k (1 &1 kn[+ t my own ef=ts 7 unavail+1 ,i (f]$ = 8 p>don ! inf9ite m]its ( ,our ,savi\r & ! treasures ( ,holy ,*ur*4 ,ne$ ,i say t 9 ! dep?s ( my he>t ,i felt c]ta9 my reque/ w\ld be grant$8 ,b1 t ,i might ga9 c\rage to p]sev]e 9 ! que/ = s\ls1 ,i said 9 all simplicity3 ,my ,god1 ,i am q sure t ,?\ wilt p>don ?is unhappy ,pranz9i4 ,i %\ld /ill ?9k s if he did n confess 8 s9s or give any sign ( sorr[1 because ,i h su* confid5ce 9 ,?y unb\nd$ ,m]cy2 b ?is is my fir/ s9n]1 & !re=e ,i beg = j "o sign ( rep5tance to reassure me4 ,my pray] 0 grant$ to ! lett]4 ,my ,fa!r nev] all[$ u to read ! pap]s1 b ,i did n ?9k !re 0 any disob$i5ce 9 look+ at ! "p ab\t ,pranz9i4 ,! day aft] 8 execution ,i ha/ily op5$ ! pap]1 ,la ,croix1 & :at did ,i see8 ,te>s betray$ my emotion2 ,i 0 oblig$ to run out ( ! room4 ,pranz9i _h m\nt$ ! scaffold )\t confess+ or receiv+ absolution1 & ! execution]s 7 already dragg+ him t[>ds ! fatal block1 :5 all at once1 app>5tly 9 answ] to a sudd5 inspiration1 he turn$ r\nd1 seiz$ ! crucifix :i* ! ,prie/ 0 (f]+ to him1 & kiss$ ,our ,"l's ,sacr$ ,w\nds ?ree times4 4 4 4 ,i _h obta9$ ! sign ,i ask$ =1 & to me x 0 especially sweet4 ,0 x n :5 ,i saw ! ,preci\s ,blood fl[+ f ! ,w\nds ( ,jesus t ! ?ir/ = s\ls fir/ took possession ( me8 ,i wi%$ to give !m to dr9k ( ! ,blood ( ! ,immaculate ,lamb t ,x might wa% away _! /a9s1 & ! lips ( my fir/ born _h be5 press$ to ^! ,div9e ,w\nds4 ,:at a wond]ful answ]6 ,aft] receiv+ ?is grace my desire = ! salvation ( s\ls increas$ day by day4 ,i seem$ to he> ,our ,"l :isp]+ to me1 z ,he did to ! ,sam>itan woman3 ,give me to dr9k6#c ,x 0 inde$ an ex*ange ( love3 ^u s\ls ,i p\r$ =? ! ,preci\s ,blood ( ,jesus1 & to ,jesus ,i (f]$ ^! s\ls refre%$ ) ! ,dew ( ,calv>y4 ,9 ?is way ,i ?\ght to qu5* ,8 ,?ir/2 b ! m ,i gave ,him to dr9k1 s mu* ! m did ! ?ir/ ( my own poor s\l increase1 & ,i accept$ x z ! mo/ delightful recomp5se4 ,9 a %ort "t ,god1 9 ,8 goodness1 _h lift$ me out ( ! n>r[ sph]e 9 :i* ,i liv$4 ,! great /ep 0 tak52 b1 alas6 ,i _h /ill a long road to travel4 ,n[ t ,i 0 free f scruples & morbid s5sitiv5ess1 my m9d develop$4 ,i _h always lov$ :at 0 noble & beautiful1 & ab\t ?is "t ,i 0 seiz$ ) a passionate desire = le>n+4 ,n cont5t ) lessons f my tea*]s1 ,i took up c]ta9 subjects by myself1 & le>nt m 9 a few mon?s ?an ,i _h 9 my :ole s*ool life4 ,0 n ?is ard\r--vanity & vexation ( _s8#d ,= me1 ) my impetu\s nature1 ?is 0 "o ( ! mo/ dang]\s times ( my life1 b ,our ,"l fulfill$ 9 me ^? words ( ,eze*iel's prophecy3 ,behold ?y "t 0 ! "t ( lov]s3 & ,i spread my g>m5t ov] !e4 ,& ,i swore to !e1 & ,i ent]$ into a cov5ant ) !e1 sai? ! ,"l ,god1 & ?\ became/ ,m9e4 ,& ,i wa%$ !e ) wat]1 & ,i ano9t$ !e ) oil4 ,i clo!d !e ) f9e g>m5ts1 & put a *a9 ab\t ?y neck4 ,?\ did/ eat f9e fl\r & honey & oil1 & wa/ made exce$+ly beautiful1 & wa/ advanc$ to be a que54#e ,yes1 ,our ,"l has done all ?is = me4 ,i might take ea* ^w ( t /rik+ passage & %[ h[ x has be5 completely realis$ 9 me1 b ! graces ( :i* ,i h already told y are suffici5t pro(4 ,s ,i w only speak n[ ( ! food ) :i* my ,div9e ,ma/] abundantly provid$ me4 ,= a long "t ,i _h n\ri%$ my spiritual life ) ! f9e fl\r conta9$ 9 ! ,imitation ( ,*ri/4 ,x 0 ! only book :i* did me good1 = ,i _h n yet f\nd ! treasures hidd5 9 ! ,holy ,gospels4 ,i always _h x ) me1 to ! amusem5t ( my p at home4 ,my aunt us$ (t5 to op5 x1 & make me repeat by he>t ! fir/ *apt] %e *anc$ to light ^u4 ,see+ my great ?ir/ = k1 ,god 0 pleas$1 :5 ,i 0 f\rte51 to add to ! f9e fl\r1 honey & oil 9 abundance4 ,?is honey & oil ,i f\nd 9 ! conf]5ces ( ,fa!r ,arm9jon on ,! ,end ( ?is ,_w & ! ,my/]ies ( ! ,_w to ,come4 ,:ile read+ ?is book my s\l 0 flood$ ) a happ9ess q sup]natural4 ,i exp]i5c$ a =eta/e ( :at ,god has prep>$ = ^? :o love ,him2 &1 see+ t et]nal rew>ds are s mu* 9 excess ( ! petty sacrifices ( ?is life1 ,i ye>n$ to love ,our ,"l1 to love ,him passionately1 & to give ,him c\ntless pro(s ( affection :ile ?is 0 /ill 9 my p[]4 ,cl9e _h become ! mo/ intimate %>] ( my ?\ghts1 especially s9ce ,*ri/mas4 ,our ,"l1 ,:o wi%$ to make u advance 9 virtue toge!r1 drew u to "o ano!r by ties /rong] ?an blood4 ,he made u si/]s 9 _s z well z 9 ! fle%4 ,! words ( our ,holy ,fa!r1 ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross1 7 realis$ 9 u3 ,tread+ )9 ,?y ,foot/eps ,"y maid5s lightly run ^u ! way4 ,f ! sp>k's contact1 ,& ! spicd w9e1 ,!y give =? aspirations ( a balm div9e4 ,x 0 lightly inde$ t we foll[$ 9 ! foot/eps ( ,our ,savi\r4 ,! burn+ sp>ks :i* ,he ca/ into our s\ls1 ! /rong w9e :i* ,he gave u to dr9k1 made u lose sight ( all e>?ly ?+s1 & we brea!d =? sighs ( love4 ,v sweet is ! memory ( our int]c\rse4 ,e ev5+ we w5t up to our attic w9d[ toge!r & gaz$ at ! />ry dep?s ( ! sky1 & ,i ?9k v preci\s graces 7 be/[$ on u !n4 ,z ! ,imitation says3 ,god communicates ,himself sometimes amid great light1 at o!r times sweetly 9 signs & figures4#f ,9 ?is way ,he deign$ to manife/ ,himself to our he>ts2 b h[ slight & transp>5t 0 ! veil6 ,d\bt 0 no long] possible2 already ,fai? & ,hope _h giv5 place to ,love1 :i* made u f9d ,him :om we s\ght1 ev5 on ?is e>?4 ,:5 ,he f\nd u alone--,he gave u ,8 kiss1 & n[ no "o may despise u4#g ,^! div9e impressions c\ld n b be> fruit4 ,! practice ( virtue gradually became sweet & natural to me4 ,at fir/ my looks betray$ ! ef=t1 b1 little by little1 self-sacrifice seem$ to come m easily & )\t hesitation4 ,our ,"l has said3 ,to ev]yone t ha? %all be giv51 & he %all ab\nd4#h ,ea* grace fai?fully receiv$ br\ght _m o!rs4 ,he gave ,himself to me 9 ,holy ,communion (t5] ?an ,i %\ld h d>$ to hope4 ,i _h made x my practice to g to ,communion z (t5 z my confessor all[$ me1 b nev] to ask = leave to g m frequ5tly4 ,n[1 h[ev]1 ,i %\ld act diff]5tly1 = ,i am conv9c$ t a s\l ought to disclose to h] director ! long+ %e has to receive h] ,god4 ,he does n come d[n f ,heav5 ea* day 9 ord] to rema9 9 a gold5 ciborium1 b to f9d ano!r ,heav5--! ,heav5 ( our s\ls 9 :i* ,he takes su* delight4 ,our ,"l1 ,:o knew my desire1 inspir$ my confessor to all[ me to g to ,communion sev]al times a week1 & ?is p]mission1 com+ z x did /raight f ,him1 fill$ me ) joy4 ,9 ^? days ,i did n d>e to speak ( my inn] feel+s2 ! road :i* ,i trod 0 s direct1 s cle>1 t ,i did n feel ! ne$ ( any guide b ,jesus4 ,i comp>$ directors to mirrors :o fai?fully reflect ,our ,savi\r to ! s\ls "u _! c>e1 & ,i ?\ght t 9 my case ,he did n use an int]m$i>y b act$ directly4 ,:5 a g>d5] gives special att5tion to a fruit :i* he wi%es to rip5 e>ly1 he does s1 n ) a view to leav+ x on ! tree1 b 9 ord] to place x on a well-spread table4 ,our ,"l lavi%$ ,8 fav\rs on ,8 ,little ,fl[] 9 ! same way4 ,he wi%es ,8 ,m]cies to %9e =? 9 me--,he ,:o1 :ile on e>?1 cri$ out 9 a transport ( joy3 ,i bless ,!e1 ,o ,fa!r1 because ,?\ ha/ hidd5 ^! ?+s f ! wise & prud5t & ha/ reveal$ !m to little ones4#i ,& because ,i 0 small & frail1 ,he b5t d[n to me & in/ruct$ me sweetly 9 ! secrets ( ,8 love4 ,z ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross says 9 8 ,canticle ( ! ,s\l3 ,on t happy night ,9 secret ,i w5t =?1 beheld by none1 ,& see+ naught2 ,hav+ no light nor guide ,except+ t :i* burn$ )9 my he>t1 ,:i* lit my way ,m safely ?an ! gl>e ( noon-day sun ,to :]e1 expectant1 ,he wait$ = me ,:o do? "k me well1 ,:]e none appe>$ b ,he4 ,?is place 0 ,c>mel1 b be=e ,i c\ld sit d[n "u ,8 ,%ad[ ,:om ,i desir$1#aj ,i _h to pass ?r\gh _m trials4 ,& yet ! ,div9e ,call 0 becom+ s insi/5t t1 _h x be5 necess>y = me to g ?r\gh fire1 ,i w\ld h ?r[n myself into x to foll[ my ,div9e ,ma/]4 ,paul9e#aa 0 ! only "o :o enc\rag$ me 9 my vocation2 ,m>ie ?\ght ,i 0 too "y1 & y1 de> ,"m1 no d\bt to prove me1 tri$ to re/ra9 my ard\r4 ,f ! />t ,i enc\nt]$ no?+ b difficulties4 ,!n1 too1 ,i d>$ n speak ( x to ,cl9e1 & ?is sil5ce pa9$ me deeply2 x 0 s h>d to h a secret %e did n %>e4 ,h[ev]1 ?is de> si/] soon f\nd out my int5tion1 &1 f> f wi%+ to keep me back1 %e accept$ ! sacrifice ) wond]ful c\rage4 ,z %e also wi%$ to be a nun1 %e ought to h be5 giv5 ! fir/ opportunity2 b1 imitat+ ! m>tyrs ( old1 :o us$ joyfully to embrace ^? *os5 to g be=e !m into ! ar5a1 %e all[$ me to leave h]1 & took my tr\bles z mu* to he>t z if x 7 a "q ( h] own vocation4 ,f ,cl9e1 !n1 ,i _h no?+ to fe>1 b ,i did n "k h[ to set ab\t tell+ ,papa4 ,h[ c\ld 8 little ,que5 talk ( leav+ him :5 he _h already p>t$ ) 8 two elde/ daught]s8 ,moreov]1 ?is ye> he _h be5 /rick5 ) a s]i\s attack ( p>alysis1 & ?\gh he recov]$ quickly we 7 full ( anxiety = ! future4 ,:at /ruggles ,i w5t ?r\gh be=e ,i c\ld make up my m9d to speak6 ,b ,i _h to act decisively2 ,i 0 n[ f\rte5 & a half1 & 9 six mon?s' "t ! bless$ fea/ ( ,*ri/mas w\ld be "h4 ,i _h resolv$ to ent] ! ,c>mel at ! same h\r at :i* a ye> be=e ,i _h receiv$ ! grace ( conv]sion4 ,i *ose ! fea/ ( ,p5teco/ on :i* to make my great disclosure4 ,all day ,i 0 pray+ = light f ! ,holy ,gho/1 & begg+ ! ,apo/les to pray = me1 to inspire me ) ! words ,i ought to use4 ,7 !y n ! v ones to help a timid *ild :om ,god de/9es to become an apo/le ( apo/les by pray] & sacrifice8 ,9 ! aft]noon1 :5 ,vesp]s 7 ov]1 ,i f\nd ! opportunity ,i want$4 ,my ,fa!r 0 sitt+ 9 ! g>d51 8 h&s clasp$1 admir+ ! wond]s ( nature4 ,! rays ( ! sett+ sun gild$ ! tops ( ! tall trees1 & ! birds *ant$ _! ev5+ pray]4 ,8 beautiful face wore a heav5ly expression--,i c\ld feel t 8 s\l 0 full ( peace4 ,)\t a ^w1 ,i sat d[n by 8 side1 my eyes already wet ) te>s4 ,he look$ at me ) indescribable t5d]ness1 &1 press+ me to 8 he>t1 said3 ,:at is x1 little ,que58 ,tell me ev]y?+4 ,!n1 9 ord] to hide 8 own emotion1 he rose & walk$ sl[ly up & d[n1 /ill hold+ me close to him4 ,?r\gh my te>s ,i spoke ( ! ,c>mel & ( my great wi% to ent] soon4 ,he1 too1 wept1 b did n say a ^w to turn me f my vocation2 he only told me t ,i 0 v "y to make su* a grave decision1 & z ,i insi/$1 & fully expla9$ my reasons1 my noble & g5]\s ,fa!r 0 soon conv9c$4 ,we walk$ ab\t = a long "t2 my he>t 0 light5$1 & ,papa no long] %$ te>s4 ,he spoke to me z ,sa9ts speak1 & %[$ me "s fl[]s gr[+ 9 ! l[ /one wall4 ,pick+ "o ( !m1 he gave x to me1 & expla9$ ! lov+ c>e ) :i* ,god _h made x spr+ up & gr[ till n[4 ,i fanci$ myself li/5+ to my own /ory1 s close 0 ! resemblance betwe5 ! little fl[] & little ,?rse4 ,i receiv$ ?is fl[]et z a relic1 & notic$ t 9 ga!r+ x my ,fa!r _h pull$ x up by ! roots )\t break+ !m2 x seem$ de/9$ to live on1 b 9 o!r & m f]tile soil4 ,papa _h j done ! same = me4 ,he all[$ me to leave ! sweet valley1 :]e ,i _h pass$ ! fir/ ye>s ( my life1 = ! m\nta9 ( ,c>mel4 ,i fa/5$ my little :ite fl[] to a picture ( ,our ,lady ( ,victories--! ,bless$ ,virg9 smiles on x1 & ! ,infant ,jesus seems to hold x 9 ,8 ,h&4 ,x is !re /ill1 b ! /alk is brok5 close to ! root4 ,god d\btless wi%es me to und]/& t ,he w soon break all ! e>?ly ties ( ,8 ,little ,fl[] & w n leave h] to )] on ?is e>?4 ,hav+ obta9$ my ,fa!r's cons5t1 ,i ?\ght ,i c\ld n[ fly to ! ,c>mel )\t h9drance4 ,f> f x6 ,:5 ,i told my uncle ( my project1 he decl>$ t to ent] su* a sev]e ,ord] at ! age ( fifte5 seem$ to him aga9/ all common s5se1 & t x w\ld be do+ a wrong to religion to let a *ild embrace su* a life4 ,he add$ t he %\ld oppose x 9 e way possible1 & t no?+ %ort ( a miracle w\ld make him *ange 8 m9d4 ,i c\ld see t all argum5ts 7 useless1 s ,i left him1 my he>t weigh$ d[n by pr(\nd sadness4 ,my only consolation 0 pray]4 ,i entreat$ ,our ,"l to "w ?is miracle = me because ?us only c\ld ,i respond to ,8 appeal4 ,"s "t w5t by1 & my uncle did n seem ev5 to rememb] our conv]sation1 ?\gh ,i le>nt lat] t x _h be5 con/antly 9 8 ?\ghts4 ,be=e all[+ a ray ( hope to %9e on my s\l1 ,our ,"l deign$ to s5d me ano!r mo/ pa9ful trial :i* la/$ = ?ree days4 ,nev] _h ,i und]/ood s well ! bitt] grief ( ,our ,lady & ,/4 ,joseph :5 !y 7 se>*+ ! /reets ( ,j]usalem = ! ,div9e ,*ild4 ,i seem$ to be 9 a frightful des]t1 or r1 my s\l 0 l a frail skiff1 )\t a pilot1 at ! m]cy ( ! /ormy waves4 ,i knew t ,jesus 0 !re asleep 9 my little boat1 b h[ c\ld ,i see ,him :ile ! night 0 s d>k8 ,if ! /orm _h really brok51 a fla% ( lightn+ w\ld p]haps h pi]c$ ! cl\ds t hung ov] me3 ev5 ?\gh x 7 b a pass+ ray1 x w\ld h enabl$ me to cat* a mom5t>y glimpse ( ! ,belov$ ( my he>t--b ?is 0 d5i$ me4 ,in/ead1 x 0 night1 d>k night1 utt] desolation1 dea?6 ,l my ,div9e ,ma/] 9 ! ,agony 9 ! ,g>d51 ,i felt t ,i 0 alone1 & f\nd no com=t on e>? or 9 ,heav54 ,nature itself seem$ to %>e my bitt] sadness1 = dur+ ^! ?ree days !re 0 n a ray ( sun%9e & ! ra9 fell 9 torr5ts4 ,i h notic$ aga9 & aga9 t 9 all ! important ev5ts ( my life nature has reflect$ my feel+s4 ,:5 ,i wept1 ! skies wept ) me2 :5 ,i rejoic$1 no cl\d d>k5$ ! blue ( ! heav5s4 ,on ! f\r? day1 a ,saturday1 ,i w5t to see my uncle4 ,:at 0 my surprise :5 ,i f\nd 8 attitude t[>ds me entirely *ang$6 ,he invit$ me into 8 /udy1 a privilege ,i _h n ask$ =2 !n1 aft] g5tly reproa*+ me = be+ a little con/ra9$ ) him1 he told me t ! miracle ( :i* he _h spok5 0 no long] ne$$4 ,he _h pray$ ,god to guide 8 he>t aright1 & 8 pray] _h be5 he>d4 ,i felt z if ,i h>dly knew him1 he seem$ s diff]5t4 ,he embrac$ me ) fa!rly affection1 say+ ) mu* feel+3 ,g 9 peace1 my de> *ild1 y are a privileg$ little fl[] :i* ,our ,"l wi%es to ga!r4 ,i w put no ob/acle 9 ! way4 ,joyfully ,i w5t home4 4 4 4 ,! cl\ds _h q disappe>$ f ! sky1 & 9 my s\l also d>k night 0 ov]4 ,jesus _h awak5$ to gladd5 my he>t4 ,i no long] he>d ! ro> ( ! waves4 ,in/ead ( ! bitt] w9d ( trial1 a light breeze swell$ my sail1 & ,i fanci$ myself safe 9 port4 ,alas6 m ?an "o /orm 0 yet to rise1 sometimes ev5 mak+ me fe> t ,i %\ld be driv51 )\t hope ( return1 f ! %ore :i* ,i long$ to rea*4 ,i _h obta9$ my uncle's cons5t1 only to be told by y1 de> ,"m1 t ! ,sup]ior ( ! ,c>melites w\ld n all[ me to ent] till ,i 0 tw5ty-"o4 ,no "o _h dreamt ( ?is s]i\s opposition1 ! h>de/ ( all to ov]come4 ,& yet1 )\t los+ c\rage1 ,i w5t ) ,papa to lay my reque/ be=e him4 ,he receiv$ me v coldly1 & c\ld n be induc$ to *ange 8 m9d4 ,we left him at la/ ) a v decid$ ,no4 ,( c\rse1 he add$1 ,i am only ! ,bi%op's delegate2 if he all[s y to ent]1 ,i %all h no?+ m to say4 ,:5 we came out ( ! ,presbyt]y aga91 x 0 ra9+ 9 torr5ts1 & my s\l1 too1 0 ov]ca/ ) heavy cl\ds4 ,papa did n "k h[ to console me1 b he promis$1 if ,i wi%$1 to take me to ,bayeux to see ! ,bi%op1 & to ?is ,i eag]ly cons5t$4 ,_m ?+s happ5$1 h[ev]1 be=e we 7 able to g4 ,to all appe>ances my life seem$ to cont9ue z =m]ly4 ,i w5t on /udy+1 &1 :at is m important1 ,i w5t on gr[+ 9 ! love ( ,god4 ,n[ & !n ,i exp]i5c$ :at 7 inde$ raptures ( love4 ,"o ev5+1 n kn[+ 9 :at words to tell ,our ,"l h[ mu* ,i lov$ him1 & h[ mu* ,i wi%$ t ,he 0 s]v$ & hon\r$ ev]y:]e1 ,i ?\ght sorr[fully t f ! dep?s ( hell !re does n g up to ,him "o s+le act ( love4 ,!n1 f my inmo/ he>t1 ,i cri$ out t ,i w\ld gladly be ca/ into t place ( torm5t & blasphemy s t ,he might be et]nally lov$ ev5 !re4 ,?is c\ld n be = ,8 ,glory1 s9ce ,he only wi%es our happ9ess1 b love feels ! ne$ ( say+ fooli% ?+s4 ,if ,i spoke 9 ?is way1 x 0 n t ,i did n long to g to ,heav51 b = me ,heav5 0 no?+ else ?an ,love1 & 9 my ard\r ,i felt t no?+ c\ld sep>ate me f ! ,div9e ,be+ ,:o held me captive4 ,ab\t ?is "t ,our ,"l gave me ! consolation ( an intimate k ( ! s\ls ( *ildr54 ,i ga9$ x 9 ?is way4 ,dur+ ! illness ( a poor woman1 ,i int]e/$ myself 9 h] two little girls1 ! eld] ( :om 0 n yet six4 ,x 0 a real pleasure to see h[ simply !y believ$ all t ,i told !m4 ,baptism does inde$ plant deeply 9 our s\ls ! !ological virtues1 s9ce f e>ly *ildhood ! hope ( heav5ly rew>d is /rong en\gh to make u practise self-d5ial4 ,:5 ,i want$ my two little girls to be specially k9d to "o ano!r1 in/ead ( promis+ !m toys & sweets1 ,i talk$ to !m ab\t ! et]nal recomp5se ! ,holy ,*ild ,jesus w\ld give to good *ildr54 ,! eld] "o1 :o 0 com+ to ! use ( reason1 us$ to look q pleas$ & ask$ me *>m+ que/ions ab\t ! little ,jesus & ,8 beautiful ,heav54 ,%e promis$ me fai?fully always to give 9 to h] little si/]1 add+ t all ?r\gh h] life %e w\ld nev] =get :at ,i _h taught h]4 ,i us$ to comp>e ^! innoc5t s\ls to s(t wax1 ready to receive any impression--evil1 alas6 z well z good1 & ,i und]/ood ! words ( ,our ,"l3 ,x 7 bett] to be ?r[n into ! sea ?an to sc&alise "o ( ^! little ones4#ab ,h[ _m s\ls might atta9 to great sanctity if only !y 7 direct$ aright f ! fir/6 ,i "k ,god has n ne$ ( anyone to help ,him 9 ,8 "w ( sanctification1 b z ,he all[s a clev] g>d5] to cultivate r>e & delicate plants1 giv+ him ! skill to accompli% x1 :ile res]v+ to ,himself ! "r ( mak+ !m gr[1 s does ,he wi% to be help$ 9 ! cultivation ( s\ls4 ,:at w\ld happ5 if an ignorant g>d5] did n graft 8 trees 9 ! "r way8 if he did n und]/& ! nature ( ea*1 & wi%$1 = in/ance1 to make roses gr[ on pea* trees8 ,?is rem9ds me t ,i us$ to h among my birds a can>y :i* sang beautifully1 & also a little l9net tak5 f ! ne/1 ( :i* ,i 0 v fond4 ,?is poor little prison]1 depriv$ ( ! tea*+ x %\ld h receiv$ f its p>5ts1 & he>+ ! joy\s trills ( ! can>y f morn+ to night1 tri$ h>d to imitate !m4 ,a difficult task inde$ = a l9net6 ,x 0 delightful to foll[ ! ef=ts ( ! poor little ?+2 8 sweet voice f\nd great difficulty 9 accommodat+ itself to ! vibrant notes ( 8 ma/]1 b he succe$$ 9 "t1 &1 to my great surprise1 8 song became exactly l ! song ( ! can>y4 ,oh1 de> ,"m1 y "k :o taught me to s+ f ! days ( my e>lie/ *ildhood6 ,y "k ! voices :i* drew me on4 ,& n[ ,i tru/ t "o day1 9 spite ( my weakness1 ,i may s+ = ev] ! ,canticle ( ,love1 ! h>moni\s notes ( :i* ,i h (t5 he>d sweetly s\nd+ "h bel[4 ,b :]e am ,i8 ,^! ?\ghts h c>ri$ me too f>1 & ,i mu/ resume ! hi/ory ( my vocation4 ,on ,octob] #ca1 #ahhg1 alone ) ,papa1 ,i />t$ = ,bayeux1 my he>t full ( hope1 b also excit$ at ! idea ( pres5t+ myself at ! ,bi%op's h\se4 ,= ! fir/ "t 9 my life1 ,i 0 go+ to pay a visit )\t any ( my si/]s1 & ?is to a ,bi%op4 ,i1 :o _h nev] yet _h to speak except to answ] que/ions address$ to me1 w\ld h to expla9 & enl>ge on my reasons = begg+ to ent] ! ,c>mel1 & s give pro(s ( ! g5u95ess ( my vocation4 ,x co/ me a great ef=t to ov]come my %yness suffici5tly to d ?is4 ,b x is true t ,love kn[s no su* ^w z impossible1 = x deems all ?+s possible1 all ?+s all[$4 ,no?+ :atsoev] b ! love ( ,jesus c\ld h made me face ^! difficulties & o!rs :i* foll[$1 = ,i _h to pur*ase my happ9ess by heavy trials4 ,n[1 x is true1 ,i ?9k ,i b\ght x v *eaply1 & ,i w\ld will+ly be> a ?\s& times m bitt] suff]+ to ga9 x1 if x 7 n already m9e4 ,:5 we rea*$ ! ,bi%op's h\se1 ! floodgates ( ,heav5 seem$ op5 once m4 ,! ,vic>-,g5]al1 ,fa!r ,rvrony1 :o _h settl$ ! date ( our com+1 receiv$ u v k9dly1 ?\gh he look$ a little surpris$1 & see+ te>s 9 my eyes said3 ,^? diamonds mu/ n be %[n to ,8 ,lord%ip6 ,we 7 l$ ?r\gh l>ge reception-rooms :i* made me feel h[ small ,i 01 & ,i wond]$ :at ,i %\ld d>e say4 ,! ,bi%op 0 walk+ 9 a corridor ) two ,prie/s4 ,i saw ! ,vic>-,g5]al speak a few words to him1 !n !y came into ! room :]e we 7 wait+4 ,!re 7 ?ree l>ge arm*airs 9 front ( ! fireplace1 :]e a bright fire blaz$4 ,z 8 ,lord%ip ent]$1 my ,fa!r & ,i knelt = 8 bless+2 !n he made u sit d[n4 ,fa!r ,rvrony (f]$ me ! arm*air 9 ! middle4 ,i excus$ myself politely1 b he insi/$1 tell+ me to %[ if ,i knew h[ to obey4 ,i did s )\t any m hesitation1 & 0 mortifi$ to see him take an ord9>y *air :ile ,i 0 buri$ 9 an enorm\s seat t w\ld com=tably h held f\r *ildr5 l me--m com=tably 9 fact1 = ,i 0 f> f be+ at ease4 ,i hop$ t ,papa 0 go+ to d all ! talk+1 b he told me to expla9 ! reason ( our visit4 ,i did s z eloqu5tly z ,i c\ld1 ?\gh ,i knew well t "o ^w f ! ,sup]ior w\ld h c>ri$ m weight ?an all my reasons1 :ile 8 opposition told /rongly aga9/ me4 ,! ,bi%op ask$ h[ long ,i _h want$ to ent] ! ,c>mel4 ,a v long "t1 my ,"l6 ,come6 said ! ,vic>-,g5]al1 laugh+1 x _c be z long z fifte5 ye>s4 ,t is true1 ,i answ]$1 b x is n mu* less1 = ,i h wi%$ to give myself to ,god f ! "t ,i 0 ?ree4 ,! ,bi%op1 no d\bt to please ,papa1 tri$ to expla9 t ,i ought to rema9 "s "t long] ) him2 b1 to 8 great surprise & edification1 my ,fa!r took my "p1 add+ respectfully t we 7 go+ to ,rome ) ! diocesan pilgrimage1 & t ,i %\ld n hesitate to speak to ! ,holy ,fa!r if ,i c\ld n obta9 p]mission be=e !n4 ,h[ev]1 x 0 decid$ t1 previ\s to giv+ an answ]1 an int]view ) ! ,sup]ior 0 absolutely necess>y4 ,?is 0 p>ticul>ly unpleasant he>+1 = ,i knew 8 decl>$ & det]m9$ opposition2 &1 9 spite ( ! advice n to all[ ! ,bi%op to see any diamonds1 ,i n only %[$ !m b let !m fall4 ,he seem$ t\*$1 & c>ess$ me fondly4 ,i 0 aft]w>ds told he _h nev] treat$ any *ild s k9dly4 ,all is n lo/1 little "o1 he said1 b ,i am v glad t y are go+ to ,rome ) y\r good ,fa!r2 y w ?us /r5g!n y\r vocation4 ,in/ead ( weep+1 y ought to rejoice4 ,i am go+ to ,lisieux next week1 & ,i w talk to ! ,sup]ior ab\t y4 ,y %all c]ta9ly h my answ] :5 y are 9 ,italy4 ,8 ,lord%ip !n took u to ! g>d51 & 0 mu* int]e/$ :5 ,papa told him t1 to make myself look old]1 ,i _h put up my hair = ! fir/ "t t v morn+4 ,?is 0 n =gott51 = ,i "k t ev5 n[1 :5ev] ! ,bi%op tells anyone ab\t 8 little daught]1 he always repeats ! /ory ab\t h] hair4 ,i mu/ say ,i %\ld pref] my little secret to h be5 kept4 ,z he took u to ! door1 ! ,vic>-,g5]al rem>k$ t su* a ?+ _h nev] be5 se5--a fa!r z anxi\s to give 8 *ild to ,god z ! *ild 0 to (f] h]self4 ,we _h to return to ,lisieux )\t a fav\rable answ]4 ,x seem$ to me z ?\gh my future 7 %att]$ = ev]2 ! ne>] ,i drew to ! goal1 ! great] my difficulties became4 ,b all ! "t ,i felt deep d[n 9 my he>t a wondr\s peace1 because ,i knew t ,i 0 only seek+ ! ,w ( my ,"l4 #a ,cf4 ,psalm #ahai3e4 #b ,luke #e3e4 #c ,john #d3g4 #d ,eccl4 #a3ad4 #e ,eze*iel #af3h1 #i1 #ac4 #f ,cf4 ,imit41 ,,iii1 *4 xliii4 #d4 #g ,cf4 ,cant4 #h3a4 #h ,luke #ai3bf4 #i ,cf4 ,luke #aj3ba4 #aj ,cant4 #b3c4 #aa ,si/] ,agnes ( ,jesus4 #ab ,cf4 ,matt4 #ah3f4 ,,*apt] ,,vi ,a ,,pilgrimage ,,to ,,rome ,?ree days aft] ! j\rney to ,bayeux1 ,i />t$ on a mu* long] "o--to ! ,et]nal ,city4 ,?is j\rney taught me ! vanity ( all t passes away4 ,nev]!less ,i saw spl5did monum5ts2 ,i /udi$ ! c\ntless wond]s ( art & religion2 & bett] ?an all1 ,i trod ! v gr\nd ! ,holy ,apo/les _h trodd5--! gr\nd wat]$ by ! blood ( m>tyrs--& my s\l grew by contact ) ^! holy ?+s4 ,i 0 delight$ to g to ,rome2 b ,i c\ld q und]/& p cr$it+ ,papa ) ! hope t 9 ?is way ,i %\ld be br\ght to *ange my m9d ab\t ! religi\s life4 ,x might c]ta9ly h upset a vocation t 0 n v /rong4 ,to beg9 )1 ,cl9e & ,i f\nd ourselves 9 ! company ( _m di/+ui%$ p4 ,9 fact1 !re 7 sc>cely any o!rs 9 ! pilgrimage2 b1 f> f be+ dazzl$ !reby1 titles seem$ to u b a vap\r ( smoke1#a & ,i und]/ood ! words ( ! ,imitation3 ,be n solicit\s = ! %ad[ ( a great "n4#b ,i und]/ood t true greatness is n f\nd 9 a "n b 9 ! s\l4 ,! ,prophet ,isaias tells u3 ,! ,"l %all call ,8 s]vants by ano!r "n1#c & we read 9 ,/4 ,john3 ,to him t ov]come? ,i w give a :ite c\nt]1 & on ! c\nt] a new "n writt5 :i* no man kn[e? b he t receive? x4#d ,9 ,heav51 !re=e1 we %all "k our titles ( nobility1 & !n %all e man h praise f ,god1#e & he :o on e>? *ose to be poore/ & lea/ kn[n = love ( 8 ,savi\r1 he w be ! fir/1 ! noble/1 & ! ri*e/4 ,! second ?+ ,i le>nt _h to d ) ,prie/s4 ,up to ?is "t ,i _h n und]/ood ! *ief aim ( ! ,c>melite ,re=m4 ,to pray = s9n]s delight$ me2 to pray = ,prie/s1 ^: s\ls seem$ pure z cry/al1 t inde$ a/oni%$ me4 ,b 9 ,italy ,i realis$ my vocation1 & ev5 s long a j\rney 0 a small price to pay = su* valuable k4 ,dur+ t mon? ,i met ) _m holy ,prie/s1 & yet ,i saw t ev5 ?\gh ! sublime dignity ( ,prie/hood raises !m high] ?an ! ,angels1 !y are /ill b weak & imp]fect m54 ,& s if holy ,prie/s1 :om ,our ,"l 9 ! ,gospel calls ! salt ( ! e>?1 h ne$ ( our pray]s1 :at mu/ we ?9k ( ! lukew>m8 ,has n ,our ,"l said3 ,if ! salt lose its sav\r :]e) %all x be salt$8#f ,oh1 de> ,"m1 h[ beautiful is our vocation6 ,we ,c>melites are call$ to pres]ve ! salt ( ! e>?4 ,we (f] our pray]s & sacrifices = ! apo/les ( ! ,"l2 we ourselves ought to be _! apo/les1 :ile !y1 by ^w & example1 are prea*+ ! ,gospel to our bre?r54 ,h we n a glori\s mission to fulfill8 ,b ,i mu/ say no m1 = ,i feel t on ?is subject my p5 w\ld run on = ev]4 ,n[ let me describe my j\rney 9 "s detail4 ,at ?ree o'clock 9 ! morn+ ( ,novemb] #d1 we pass$ ?r\gh ! sil5t /reets4 ,lisieux /ill lay %r\d$ 9 ! d>kness ( night4 ,i felt t ,i 0 go+ out into ! unkn[n1 & t great ?+s 7 await+ me 9 ,rome4 ,:5 we rea*$ ,p>is1 ,papa took u to see all ! sights4 ,= me !re 0 b "o--,our ,lady ( ,victories4 ,i c nev] tell y :at ,i felt at h] %r9e2 ! graces ,our ,lady grant$ me 7 l ^? ( my ,fir/ ,communion ,day4 ,i 0 fill$ ) peace & happ9ess4 ,9 ?is holy spot ! ,bless$ ,virg91 my ,"m1 told me pla9ly t x 0 really %e :o _h smil$ on me & cur$ me4 ,) int5se f]v\r ,i entreat$ h] to keep me always1 & to realise my he>t's desire by hid+ me "u h] spotless mantle1 & ,i also ask$ h] to remove f me e occasion ( s94 ,i 0 well aw>e t dur+ ?is j\rney ,i %\ld come across ?+s t might di/urb me2 kn[+ no?+ ( evil1 ,i fe>$ ,i might discov] x4 ,z yet ,i _h n exp]i5c$ t to ! pure all ?+s are pure1#g t a simple & upright s\l does n see evil 9 any?+1 because evil only exi/s 9 impure he>ts & n 9 inanimate objects4 ,i pray$ specially to ,/4 ,joseph to wat* ov] me2 f my *ildhood1 devotion to him has be5 int]wov5 ) my love = our ,bless$ ,lady4 ,e day ,i said ! pray] beg9n+3 ,/4 ,joseph1 ,fa!r & ,protector ( ,virg9s 4 4 4 s ,i felt ,i 0 well protect$ & q safe f dang]4 ,we left ,p>is on ,novemb] #g1 aft] our solemn ,consecration to ! ,sacr$ ,he>t 9 ! ,basilica ( ,montm>tre4#h ,ea* comp>tm5t ( ! tra9 0 nam$ aft] a ,sa9t1 & ! selection 0 made 9 hon\r ( "s ,prie/ occupy+ x--8 own patron or t ( 8 p>i% be+ *os54 ,b 9 ! pres5ce ( all ! pilgrims our comp>tm5t 0 nam$ aft] ,/4 ,m>t96 ,my ,fa!r1 deeply t\*$ by ?is complim5t1 w5t at once to ?ank ,mgr4 ,leg\x1 ,vic>-,g5]al ( ,c\tances & director ( ! pilgrimage4 ,f ?is onw>ds he 0 (t5 call$ ,monsieur ,sa9t ,m>t94 ,fa!r ,rvrony wat*$ my behavi\r closely4 ,i c\ld tell t he 0 do+ s2 at table1 if ,i 7 n opposite to him1 he w\ld lean =w>d to look at me & li/5 to :at ,i 0 say+4 ,i ?9k he mu/ h be5 satisfi$ ) 8 inve/igations1 =1 t[>ds ! end ( ! j\rney1 he seem$ m fav\rably dispos$4 ,i say t[>ds ! end1 = 9 ,rome he 0 f> f be+ my advocate1 z ,i w tell y pres5tly4 ,/ill ,i w\ld n h x ?\ght he deceiv$ me 9 any way by fall+ %ort ( ! good w he _h %[n at ,bayeux4 ,on ! contr>y1 ,i am sure t he always felt k9dly t[>ds me1 & t if he oppos$ my wi%es x 0 only to put me to ! te/4 ,on our way into ,italy we pass$ ?r\gh ,switz]l&1 ) its high m\nta9s1 _! sn[y peaks lo/ 9 ! cl\ds1 its ru%+ torr5ts1 & its deep valleys fill$ ) giant f]ns & purple hea!r4 ,great good 0 wr\ght 9 my s\l by ^! beauties ( nature s abundantly scatt]$ abroad4 ,!y lift$ x to ,him ,:o _h be5 pleas$ to lavi% su* ma/]pieces ^u ?is transi5t e>?4 ,sometimes we 7 high up ! m\nta9 side1 :ile at our feet an unfa?omable abyss seem$ ready to engulf u4 ,a little lat] we 7 pass+ ?r\gh a *>m+ village ) its cottages & graceful belfry1 above :i* light fleecy cl\ds float$ lazily4 ,f>!r on a great lake ) its blue wat]s1 s calm & cle>1 w\ld bl5d ) ! gl[+ spl5d\r ( ! sett+ sun4 ,i _c tell y h[ deeply ,i 0 impress$ ) ?is sc5]y s full ( poetry & gr&eur4 ,x 0 a =eta/e ( ! wond]s ( ,heav54 ,!n ! ?\ght ( religi\s life w\ld come be=e me1 z x really is1 ) its con/ra9ts & its little daily sacrifices made 9 secret4 ,i und]/ood h[ easily "o might become wrapp$ 9 self & =get ! sublime end ( "o's vocation1 & ,i ?\ght3 ,lat] on1 :5 ! "t ( trial comes1 :5 ,i am enclos$ 9 ! ,c>mel & %all only be able to see a little bit ( sky1 ,i w rememb] ?is day & x w enc\rage me4 ,i w make light ( my own small int]e/s by ?9k+ ( ! greatness & maje/y ( ,god2 ,i w love ,him alone1 & w n be s fooli% z to atta* myself to ! fleet+ trifles ( ?is _w1 n[ t my he>t has _h a glimpse ( :at is res]v$ = ^? :o love ,him4 ,aft] hav+ contemplat$ ! works ( ,god1 ,i turn$ next to admire ^? ( ,8 creatures4 ,milan 0 ! fir/ ,italian t[n we visit$1 & we c>efully /udi$ its ,ca!dral ( :ite m>ble1 adorn$ ) c\ntless /atues4 ,cl9e & ,i left ! timid ones1 :o hid _! faces 9 fe> aft] climb+ to ! fir/ /age1 &1 foll[+ ! bold] pilgrims1 we rea*$ ! top1 f :5ce we view$ ! city bel[4 ,:5 we came d[n we />t$ on ! fir/ ( our exp$itions2 ^! la/$ ! :ole mon? ( ! pilgrimage1 & q cur$ me ( a desire to be always lazily rid+ 9 a c>riage4 ,! ,campo ,santo#i *>m$ u4 ,! :ole va/ enclosure is cov]$ ) m>ble /atues1 s exquisitely c>v$ z to be life-l1 & plac$ ) an app>5t neglig5ce t only enhances _! *>m4 ,y feel almo/ tempt$ to console ! imag9>y p]sonages t surr\nd y1 _! expression s exactly portrays a calm & ,*ri/ian sorr[4 ,& :at works ( art6 ,"h is a *ild putt+ fl[]s on its fa!r's grave--"o =gets h[ solid is m>ble--! delicate petals appe> to slip ?r\gh its f+]s4 ,sometimes ! light veils ( ! wid[s1 & ! ribbons ( ! "y girls1 seem float+ on ! breeze4 ,we c\ld n f9d words to express our admiration1 b an old g5tleman :o foll[$ u ev]y:]e--regrett+ no d\bt 8 inability to %>e our s5tim5ts--said 9 a tone ( ill-temp]3 ,oh1 :at en?usia/s ^! ,fr5* p are6 & yet he also 0 ,fr5*4 ,i ?9k ! poor man w\ld h done bett] to /ay at home4 ,in/ead ( enjoy+ ! j\rney he 0 always grumbl+3 no?+ pleas$ him1 nei!r cities1 hotels1 p1 nor any?+ else4 ,my ,fa!r1 ^: disposition 0 ! exact opposite1 0 q cont5t1 no matt] :at happ5$1 & tri$ to *e] our fri5d1 (f]+ him 8 place 9 ! c>riage or else:]e1 & ) 8 wont$ goodness enc\rag+ him to look on ! bright side ( ?+s4 ,b no?+ c\ld *e] him4 ,h[ _m diff]5t k9ds ( p we saw & h[ int]e/+ x is to /udy ! _w :5 "o is j ab\t to leave x6 ,9 ,v5ice ! sc5e *ang$ completely4 ,in/ead ( ! bu/le ( a l>ge city1 sil5ce reign$1 brok5 only by ! lapp+ ( ! wat]s & ! cries ( ! gondoli]s z !y pli$ _! o>s2 x is a city full ( *>m b full ( sadness4 ,ev5 ! ,palace ( ! ,doges1 spl5did ?\gh x be1 is sad2 we walk$ ?r\gh halls ^: vault$ ro(s h long s9ce ceas$ to re-e*o ! voices ( ! gov]nors 9 _! s5t5ces ( life & dea?4 ,its d>k dungeons are no long] a liv+ tomb = un=tunate prison]s to p9e )94 ,:ile visit+ ^! dreadful prisons ,i fanci$ myself 9 ! times ( ! m>tyrs1 & gladly w\ld ,i h *os5 ?is sombre abode = my dwell+ if !re _h be5 any "q ( confess+ my fai?4 ,pres5tly ! guide's voice r\s$ me f my rev]ie1 & ,i cross$ ! ,bridge ( ,sighs1 s call$ because ( ! sighs utt]$ by ! wret*$ prison]s z !y pass$ f _! dungeons to s5t5ce & to dea?4 ,aft] leav+ ,v5ice we visit$ ,padua & !re v5]at$ ! relic ( ,/4 ,an?ony's tongue2 !n ,bologna1 :]e ,/4 ,ca!r9e's body re/s4 ,h] face /ill be>s ! impress ( ! kiss be/[$ on h] by ! ,infant ,jesus4 ,i 0 inde$ happy :5 on ! way to ,loreto4 ,our ,lady _h *os5 an ideal spot 9 :i* to place h] ,holy ,h\se4 ,ev]y?+ is poor1 simple1 & primitive2 ! wom5 /ill we> ! graceful dress ( ! c\ntry & h n1 z 9 ! l>ge t[ns1 adopt$ ! mod]n ,p>is fa%ions4 ,i f\nd ,loreto en*ant+4 ,& :at %all ,i say ( ! ,holy ,h\se8 ,i 0 ov]:elm$ ) emotion :5 ,i realis$ t ,i 0 "u ! v ro( t _h %elt]$ ! ,holy ,family4 ,i gaz$ on ! same walls ,our ,"l _h look$ on4 ,i trod ! gr\nd once moi/5$ ) ! sweat ( ,/4 ,joseph's toil1 & saw ! little *amb] ( ! ,annunciation1 :]e ! ,bless$ ,virg9 ,m>y held ,jesus 9 h] arms aft] %e _h borne ,him !re 9 h] virg9al womb4 ,i ev5 put my ,ros>y into ! little porr+] us$ by ! ,div9e ,*ild4 ,h[ sweet ^? memories6 ,b our greate/ joy 0 to receive ,jesus 9 ,8 own ,h\se1 & ?us become ,8 liv+ temple 9 ! v place :i* ,he _h hon\r$ by ,8 ,div9e ,pres5ce4 ,accord+ to ,roman cu/om ! ,bless$ ,sacram5t is res]v$ at "o ,alt> 9 ea* ,*ur*1 & !re only is x giv5 to ! fai?ful4 ,at ,loreto ?is ,alt> 0 9 ! ,basilica--:i* is built r\nd ! ,holy ,h\se1 enclos+ x z a preci\s /one might be enclos$ 9 a casket ( :ite m>ble4 ,! ext]ior matt]$ little to u1 x 0 9 ! diamond itself t we wi%$ to receive ! ,bread ( ,angels4 ,my ,fa!r1 ) 8 habitual g5tl5ess1 foll[$ ! o!r pilgrims1 b 8 daught]s1 less easily satisfi$1 w5t t[>ds ! ,holy ,h\se4 ,god fav\r$ u1 = a ,prie/ 0 on ! po9t ( celebrat+ ,mass2 we told him ( our great wi%1 & he imm$iately ask$ = two ho/s1 :i* he plac$ on ! pat54 ,y may picture1 de> ,"m1 ! ec/atic happ9ess ( t ,communion2 no words c describe x4 ,:at w be our joy :5 we communicate et]nally 9 ! dwell+ ( ! ,k+ ( ,heav58 ,x w be undimm$ by ! grief ( p>t+1 & w "k no end4 ,8 ,h\se w be ours = all et]nity1 & !re w be no ne$ to covet fragm5ts f ! walls hall[$ by ! ,div9e ,pres5ce4 ,he w n give u ,8 e>?ly ,home--,he only %[s x to u to make u love pov]ty & ! hidd5 life4 ,:at ,he has 9 /ore = u is ! ,palace ( ,8 ,glory1 :]e we %all no long] see ,him veil$ "u ! =m ( a *ild or ! appe>ance ( bread1 b z ,he is1 9 ! brightness ( ,8 ,inf9ite ,beauty4 ,n[ ,i am go+ to tell y ab\t ,rome--,rome1 :]e ,i ?\ght to f9d com=t & :]e ,i f\nd ! cross4 ,x 0 night :5 we arriv$4 ,i 0 asleep1 & 0 awak5$ by ! port]s call+3 ,roma6 ,! pilgrims caught up ! cry & repeat$3 ,roma1 ,roma6 ,!n ,i knew t x 0 n a dream1 ,i 0 really 9 ,rome6 ,our fir/ day1 & p]haps ! mo/ enjoyable1 0 sp5t outside ! walls4 ,!re1 ev]y?+ reta9s its /amp ( antiquity1 :il/ 9 ,rome1 ) its hotels & %ops1 "o might fancy oneself 9 ,p>is4 ,?is drive 9 ! ,roman ,campagna has left a specially delightful impression on my m9d4 ,h[ %all ,i describe ! feel+s :i* ?rill$ me :5 ,i gaz$ on ! ,coliseum8 ,at la/ ,i saw ! ar5a :]e s _m ,m>tyrs _h %$ _! blood = ,*ri/4 ,my fir/ impulse 0 to kiss ! gr\nd sanctifi$ by _! glori\s combats4 ,b :at a disappo9tm5t6 ,! soil has be5 rais$1 & ! real ar5a is n[ buri$ at ! dep? ( ab\t tw5ty-six feet4 ,z ! result ( excavations ! c5tre is no?+ b a mass ( rubbi%1 & an insurm\ntable b>ri] gu>ds ! entrance2 9 any case no "o d>e p5etrate into ! mid/ ( ^! dang]\s ru9s4 ,b 0 x possible to be 9 ,rome & n g d[n to ! real ,coliseum8 ,no1 inde$6 ,& ,i no long] li/5$ to ! guide's explanations3 "o ?\ght only fill$ my m9d--,i mu/ rea* ! ar5a4 ,we are told 9 ! ,gospel t ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal5 rema9$ close to ! ,sepul*re & /oop$ d[n con/antly to look 92 %e 0 rew>d$ by see+ two ,angels4 ,s1 l h]1 ,i kept /oop+ d[n & ,i saw1 n two ,angels1 b :at ,i 0 9 se>* (4 ,i utt]$ a cry ( joy & call$ out to my si/]3 ,come1 foll[ me1 we %all be able to get ?r\gh4 ,we hurri$ on at once1 scrambl+ ov] ! ru9s :i* crumbl$ "u our feet4 ,papa1 agha/ at our boldness1 call$ out to u1 b we did n he>4 ,z ! w>riors ( old felt _! c\rage gr[ 9 face ( p]il1 s our joy increas$ 9 proportion to ! fatigue & dang] we _h to face to atta9 ! object ( our desires4 ,cl9e1 m =esee+ ?an ,i1 _h li/5$ to ! guide4 ,%e rememb]$ t he _h po9t$ out a p>ticul> /one m>k$ ) a cross1 & _h told u x 0 ! place :]e ! ,m>tyrs _h f\ght ! good fight4 ,%e set to "w to f9d x1 & hav+ done s we ?rew ourselves on our knees on ?is sacr$ gr\nd4 ,our s\ls unit$ 9 "o & ! same pray]4 ,my he>t beat viol5tly :5 ,i press$ my lips to ! du/ r$d5$ ) ! blood ( ! e>ly ,*ri/ians4 ,i begg$ = ! grace to be a m>tyr = ,jesus1 & ,i felt 9 ! dep?s ( my he>t t my pray] 0 he>d4 ,all ?is took b a %ort "t4 ,aft] collect+ "s /ones we approa*$ ! walls once m to face ! dang]4 ,we 7 s happy t ,papa _h n ! he>t to scold u1 & ,i c\ld see t he 0 pr\d ( our c\rage4 ,f ! ,coliseum we w5t to ! ,catacombs1 & !re ,cl9e & ,i laid ourselves d[n 9 :at _h once be5 ! tomb ( ,/4 ,cecilia1 & took "s ( ! e>? sanctifi$ by h] holy rema9s4 ,be=e our j\rney to ,rome ,i _h n felt any special devotion to ,/4 ,cecilia1 b on visit+ ! h\se :]e %e 0 m>tyr$1 & he>+ h] proclaim$ ,que5 ( h>mony--because ( ! sweet song %e sang 9 h] he>t to h] ,div9e ,sp\se--,i felt m ?an devotion t[>ds h]1 x 0 real love z = a fri5d4 ,%e became my *os5 patroness1 & ! keep] ( all my secrets2 h] ab&onm5t to ,god & h] b\ndless confid5ce delight$ me beyond measure4 ,!y 7 s great t !y enabl$ h] to make s\ls pure :i* _h nev] till !n desir$ aught b e>?ly pleasures4 ,/4 ,cecilia is l ! ,sp\se 9 ! ,canticles4 ,i f9d 9 h] ! ,scriptural *oir 9 an arm$ camp4#aj ,h] life 0 "o melodi\s song 9 ! mid/ ( ! greate/ trials2 & ?is is n /range1 because we read t ! ,book ( ! ,holy ,gospels lay ev] on h] he>t1#aa :ile 9 h] he>t repos$ ! ,sp\se ( ,virg9s4 ,our visit to ! ,*ur* ( ,/4 ,agnes 0 also v delightful4 ,i tri$1 b )\t success1 to obta9 a relic to take back to my little ,"m1 ,si/] ,agnes ( ,jesus4 ,m5 refus$ me1 b ,god ,himself came to my aid3 a little bit ( r$ m>ble1 f an anci5t mosaic dat+ back to ! "t ( ! sweet m>tyr1 fell z my feet4 ,0 ?is n t\*+8 ,/4 ,agnes h]self gave me a keepsake f h] h\se4 ,we sp5t six days 9 visit+ ! great wond]s 9 ,rome1 & on ! sev5? saw ! greate/ ( all--,leo ,,xiii4 ,i long$ =1 yet dread$1 t day1 = on x dep5d$ my vocation4 ,i _h receiv$ no answ] f ! ,bi%op ( ,bayeux1 & s ! ,holy ,fa!r's p]mission 0 my "o & only hope4 ,b 9 ord] to obta9 ?is p]mission ,i _h fir/ to ask x4 ,! m]e ?\ght made me tremble1 = ,i mu/ d>e speak to ! ,pope1 & t1 9 pres5ce ( _m ,c>d9als1 ,ar*bi%ops1 & ,bi%ops6 ,on ,sunday morn+1 ,novemb] #bj1 we w5t to ! ,vatican1 & 7 tak5 to ! ,pope's private *apel4 ,at eight o'clock we assi/$ at 8 ,mass1 dur+ :i* 8 f]v5t piety1 wor?y ( ! ,vic> ( ,*ri/1 gave evid5ce t he 0 9 tru? ! ,holy ,fa!r4 ,! ,gospel = t day conta9$ ^! t\*+ words3 ,fe> n1 little flock1 = x ha? pleas$ y\r ,fa!r to give y a ,k+dom4#ab ,my he>t 0 fill$ ) p]fect confid5ce4 ,no1 ,i w\ld n fe>1 ,i w\ld tru/ t ! ,k+dom ( ! ,c>mel w\ld soon be m9e4 ,i did n ?9k ( ^? o!r words ( ,our ,"l3 ,i dispose to y1 z my ,fa!r ha? dispos$ to ,me1 a ,k+dom4#ac ,t is to say1 ,i w give y crosses & trials1 & ?us w y become wor?y to possess ,my ,k+dom4 ,if y desire to sit on ,8 "r h& y mu/ dr9k ! *alice :i* ,he has drunk ,himself4#ad ,ought n ,*ri/ to h suff]$ ^! ?+s1 & s to ent] into ,8 glory8#ae ,a ,mass ( ?anksgiv+ foll[$1 & !n ! audi5ce began4 ,leo ,,xiii1 ^: cassock & cape 7 ( :ite1 0 seat$ on a rais$ *air1 & r\nd him 7 gr\p$ v>i\s dignit>ies ( ! *ur*4 ,accord+ to cu/om ea* visitor knelt 9 turn & kiss$1 fir/ ! foot & next ! h& ( ! v5]able ,pontiff1 & f9ally receiv$ 8 bless+2 !n two ( ! ,noble ,gu>d sign$ to ! pilgrim t he mu/ rise & pass on to ! adjo9+ room to make way = ^? :o foll[$4 ,no "o utt]$ a ^w1 b ,i 0 firmly det]m9$ to speak1 :5 sudd5ly ! ,vic>-,g5]al ( ,bayeux1 ,fa!r ,rvrony1 :o 0 /&+ at ! ,pope's "r h&1 told u 9 a l\d voice t he absolutely =bade anyone to address ! ,holy ,fa!r4 ,my he>t beat fa/4 ,i turn$ to ,cl9e1 mutely inquir+ :at ,i %\ld d4 ,speak6 %e said4 ,! next mom5t ,i f\nd myself on my knees be=e ! ,holy ,fa!r4 ,i kiss$ 8 foot & he held out 8 h&2 !n rais+ my eyes1 :i* 7 fill$ ) te>s1 ,i said entreat+ly3 ,holy ,fa!r1 ,i h a great fav\r to ask y4 ,at once he b5t t[>ds me till 8 face almo/ t\*$ m9e1 & 8 pi]c+ black eyes seem$ to read my v s\l4 ,holy ,fa!r1 ,i repeat$1 9 hon\r ( y\r jubilee1 w y all[ me to ent] ! ,c>mel :5 ,i am fifte58 ,! ,vic>-,g5]al1 surpris$ & displeas$1 said quickly3 ,holy ,fa!r1 ?is is a *ild :o desires to become a ,c>melite1 b ! ,sup]iors ( ! ,c>mel are look+ into ! matt]4 ,well1 my *ild1 said ,8 ,hol9ess1 d :atev] ! ,sup]iors decide4 ,clasp+ my h&s & re/+ !m on 8 knee1 ,i made a f9al ef=t3 ,holy ,fa!r1 if only y say 'yes1' ev]yone else w\ld agree4 ,he look$ at me fix$ly & said cle>ly & emphatically3 ,well1 well6 ,y w ent] if x is ,god's ,w4 ,i 0 go+ to speak aga91 :5 ! ,noble ,gu>ds motion$ to me4 ,z ,i paid little att5tion !y came =w>d1 ! ,vic>-,g5]al ) !m1 = ,i 0 /ill kneel+ be=e ! ,pope ) my h&s re/+ on 8 knee4 ,j z ,i 0 =c$ to rise1 ! de> ,holy ,fa!r g5tly plac$ 8 h& on my lips1 !n lift$ x to bless me1 lett+ 8 eyes foll[ me = q a long "t4 ,my ,fa!r 0 mu* di/ress$ to f9d me com+ f ! audi5ce 9 te>s2 he _h pass$ out be=e me1 & s did n "k any?+ ab\t my reque/4 ,! ,vic>-,g5]al _h %[n him unusual k9dness1 pres5t+ him to ,leo ,,xiii z ! fa!r ( two ,c>melites4 ,! ,sov]eign ,pontiff1 z a special sign ( b5evol5ce1 _h plac$ 8 h& on 8 head1 ?us appe>+ 9 ! "n ( ,*ri/ ,himself to m>k him ) a my/]i\s seal4 ,b n[ t ?is fa!r ( f\r ,c>melites is 9 ,heav51 x is no long] ! h& ( ,*ri/'s ,vic> :i* re/s on 8 br[1 prophesy+ 8 m>tyrdom3 x is ! h& ( ! ,sp\se ( ,virg9s1 ( ! ,k+ ( ,heav52 & ?is ,div9e ,h& w nev] be tak5 away f ! head :i* x has bless$4 ,?is trial 0 inde$ a heavy "o1 b ,i mu/ admit t 9 spite ( my te>s ,i felt a deep inw>d peace1 = ,i _h made e ef=t 9 my p[] to respond to ! appeal ( my ,div9e ,ma/]4 ,?is peace1 h[ev]1 dwelt 9 ! dep?s ( my s\l--on ! surface all 0 bitt]ness2 & ,jesus 0 sil5t--abs5t x w\ld seem1 = no?+ reveal$ t ,he 0 !re4 ,on t day1 too1 ! sun d>$ n %9e1 & ! beautiful blue sky ( ,italy1 hidd5 by d>k cl\ds1 m+l$ its te>s ) m9e4 ,all 0 at an end4 ,my j\rney _h no fur!r *>m = me s9ce x _h fail$ 9 its object4 ,x is true ! ,holy ,fa!r's words3 ,y w ent] if x is ,god's ,w1 %\ld h consol$ me1 !y 7 inde$ a prophecy4 ,9 spite ( all ^! ob/acles1 :at ,god 9 ,8 goodness will$1 has come to pass4 ,he has n all[$ ,8 creatures to d :at !y w b only :at ,he wills4 ,sometime be=e ?is took place ,i _h (f]$ myself to ! ,*ild ,jesus to be ,8 little play?+4 ,i told ,him n to treat me l "o ( ^? preci\s toys :i* *ildr5 only look at & d>e n t\*1 b to treat me l a little ball ( no value1 t c\ld be ?r[n on ! gr\nd1 kick$ ab\t1 pi]c$1 left 9 a corn]1 or press$ to ,8 ,he>t j z x might please ,him4 ,9 a ^w ,i wi%$ to amuse ! ,holy *ild & to let ,him play ) me z ,he fanci$4 ,"h inde$ ,he 0 answ]+ my pray]4 ,9 ,rome ,jesus pi]c$ ,8 little play?+4 ,he want$ to see :at 0 inside 4 4 4 & :5 satisfi$1 ,he let x drop & w5t to sleep4 ,:at 0 ,he do+ dur+ ,8 sweet slumb]1 & :at became ( ! ball ?us ca/ on "o side8 ,he dream$ t ,he 0 /ill at play1 t ,he took x up or ?rew x d[n1 t ,he roll$ x f> away1 b at la/ ,he press$ x to ,8 ,he>t1 nor did ,he all[ x aga9 to slip f ,8 t9y ,h&4 ,de> ,"m1 y c imag9e ! sadness ( ! little ball ly+ neglect$ on ! gr\nd6 ,& yet x cont9u$ to hope aga9/ hope4 ,aft] our audi5ce my ,fa!r w5t to call on ,bro!r ,simeon--! f\nd] & director ( ,/4 ,joseph's ,college--& !re he met ,fa!r ,rvrony4 ,he reproa*$ him g5tly = n hav+ help$ me 9 my difficult task1 & told ! :ole /ory to ,bro!r ,simeon4 ,! good old man li/5$ ) mu* int]e/ & ev5 made notes1 say+ ) evid5t feel+3 ,?is k9d ( ?+ is n se5 9 ,italy4 ,! next day we />t$ = ,naples & ,pompeii4 ,vesuvius did u ! hon\r ( emitt+ f its crat] a ?ick volume ( smoke1 accompani$ by num]\s l\d reports4 ,! traces ( ! deva/ation ( ,pompeii are t]rify+4 ,!y %[ =? ! p[] ( ,god3 ,he looke? ^u ! e>?1 & make? x tremble2 ,he t\*e? ! m\nta9s & !y smoke4 ,i %\ld l to h w&]$ alone among its ru9s1 m$itat+ on ! in/ability ( human ?+s1 b su* solitude 0 n to be ?\ght (4 ,at ,naples we made an exp$ition to ! mona/]y ( ,san ,m>t9o2 x cr[ns a high hill ov]look+ ! :ole city4 ,on ! way back ! horses took ! bit 9 _! tee?1 & x is solely to our ,gu>dian ,angels t ,i attribute our safe return to ! spl5did hotel4 ,?is ^w spl5did is n too /rong to describe x2 9 fact dur+ ! :ole j\rney we /ay$ only at ! mo/ expansive hotels4 ,i _h nev] be5 surr\nd$ by su* luxury1 b x is inde$ a true say+ t ri*es d n make happ9ess4 ,i %\ld h be5 a ?\s& times m cont5t$ "u a ?at*$ room1 ) ! hope ( ent]+ ! ,c>mel1 ?an ,i 0 amid m>ble /aircases1 gild$ ceil+s1 & silk5 hang+s1 ) my he>t full ( sorr[4 ,i realis$ ?or\ghly t joy is n f\nd 9 ! ?+s :i* surr\nd u1 b lives only 9 ! s\l4 ,"o c\ld possess x z well 9 an obscure prison z 9 ! palace ( a k+4 ,& s n[ ,i am happi] at ! ,c>mel1 9 ! mid/ ( trials )9 & )\t1 ?an ,i 0 9 ! _w :]e ,i _h ev]y?+ ,i want$1 &1 above all1 ! joys ( a happy home4 ,al?\gh ,i felt heavy ( he>t1 outw>dly ,i 0 z usual1 = ,i ?\ght no "o _h any k ( my petition to ! ,pope4 ,i 0 mi/ak54 ,"o day1 :5 ! o!r pilgrims _h gone to ! refre%m5t-room & ,cl9e & ,i 7 alone1 ,mgr4 ,leg\x came to ! door ( ! c>riage4 ,he look$ at me att5tively & smil+ said3 ,well1 & h[ is our little ,c>melite8 ,?is %[$ me t my secret 0 kn[n to all ! pilgrims1 & ,i ga!r$ x1 too1 f _! k9dly looks2 b happily no "o spoke to me on ! subject4 ,at ,assisi ,i _h a little adv5ture4 ,:ile visit+ ! places sanctifi$ by ! virtues ( ,/4 ,francis & ,/4 ,cl>e ,i lo/ ! buckle ( my belt 9 ! mona/]y4 ,x took me "s "t to f9d & put x back 9 place1 & :5 ,i rea*$ ! door all ! c>riages _h />t$ except "o2 t belong$ to ! ,vic>-,g5]al ( ,bayeux6 ,%\ld ,i run aft] ^? :i* 7 no long] 9 sight & s p]haps miss ! tra91 or %\ld ,i beg = a seat 9 ! c>riage ( ,fa!r ,rvrony8 ,i decid$ t ?is 0 ! wis] plan4 ,i tri$ to hide my extreme emb>rassm5t & expla9$ ?+s4 ,he 0 plac$ 9 a difficulty himself1 = all ! seats 7 occupi$1 b "o ( ! p>ty promptly gave me 8 place & sat by ! driv]4 ,i felt l a squirrel caught 9 a sn>e4 ,i 0 ill at ease 9 ! mid/ ( ^! great p1 & ,i _h to sit face to face ) ! mo/ =midable ( all4 ,he 0 exce$+ly k9d1 h[ev]1 & n[ & !n int]rupt$ 8 conv]sation to talk to me ab\t ! ,c>mel & promise t he w\ld d all 9 8 p[] to realise my desire ( ent]+ at fifte54 ,?is meet+ 0 l balm to my w\nds1 ?\gh x did n prev5t me f suff]+4 ,i _h n[ lo/ all tru/ 9 creatures & c\ld only lean on ,god ,himself4 ,& yet my di/ress did n h9d] me f tak+ a deep int]e/ 9 ! holy places we visit$4 ,9 ,flor5ce we saw ! %r9e ( ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal5 ( ,pazzi1 9 ! *oir ( ! ,c>melite ,*ur*4 ,all ! pilgrims want$ to t\* ! ,sa9t's tomb ) _! ,ros>ies1 b my h& 0 ! only "o small en\gh to pass ?r\gh ! grat+4 ,s ,i 0 deput$ = ?is important & l5g?y task1 & ,i did x ) pride4 ,x 0 n ! fir/ "t ,i _h obta9$ special fav\rs4 ,"o day1 at ,santa ,croce1 9 ,rome1 we v5]at$ ! relics ( ! ,true ,cross1 toge!r ) two ( ! ,?orns1 & "o ( ! ,sacr$ ,nails4 ,i want$ to exam9e !m closely1 s ,i rema9$ beh9d1 & :5 ! monk 9 *>ge 0 go+ to replace !m on ! ,alt>1 ,i ask$ if ,i might t\* ! preci\s treasures4 ,he said ,i might d s1 b 0 d\btful if ,i %\ld succe$2 h[ev]1 ,i put my little f+] into "o ( ! op5+s ( ! reliqu>y & 0 able to t\* ! ,sacr$ ,nail once hall[$ by ! ,blood ( ,our ,savi\r4 ,y see ,i behav$ t[>ds ,him l a *ild :o ?9ks x may d z x pleases & looks on its ,fa!r's treasures z its own4 ,hav+ pass$ ?r\gh ,pisa & ,g5oa we came back to ,france by "o ( ! lovelie/ r\tes4 ,at times we 7 close to ! sea1 & "o day dur+ a /orm x seem$ z ?\gh ! waves w\ld rea* ! tra94 ,f>!r on we travell$ ?r\gh pla9s cov]$ ) orange trees1 olives1 & fea!ry palms1 :ile at night ! num]\s seaports tw9kl$ ) lights1 & />s came out 9 ! deep blue sky4 ,b ,i wat*$ ! fairy picture fade away f my eyes )\t any regret--my he>t 0 set else:]e4 ,my ,fa!r propos$ to take me to ,j]usalem1 b 9 spite ( ! natural wi% ,i _h to visit ! places sanctifi$ by ,our ,"l's ,foot/eps1 ,i 0 we>y ( e>?ly pilgrimages & only long$ = ! beauties ( ,heav54 ,9 ord] to w9 ^! beauties = s\ls ,i want$ to become a prison] z quickly z possible4 ,i felt t ,i mu/ suff] & /ruggle /ill m be=e ! gates ( my bless$ prison w\ld op52 yet my tru/ 9 ,god did n gr[ less1 & ,i /ill hop$ to ent] at ,*ri/mas4 ,we _h h>dly rea*$ home :5 ,i paid a visit to ! ,c>mel4 ,y mu/ rememb] well t int]view1 de> ,"m4 ,i left myself entirely 9 y\r h&s1 = ,i _h exhau/$ all my res\rces4 ,y told me to write to ! ,bi%op & rem9d him ( 8 promise4 ,i obey$ at once1 & z soon z my lett] 0 po/$ ,i felt ,i %\ld obta9 ! covet$ p]mission )\t any delay4 ,alas6 ea* day br\ght fre% disappo9tm5ts4 ,! beautiful fea/ ( ,*ri/mas dawn$2 /ill ,jesus slept4 ,he left ,8 little ball on ! gr\nd )\t ev5 glanc+ t way4 ,?is 0 inde$ a sore trial1 b ,our ,"l1 ,^: ,he>t is always wat*+1 taught me t ,he grant$ miracles to ^? ^: fai? is small z a gra9 ( mu/>d se$1 9 ! hope ( /r5g!n+ ?is sl5d] fai?2 :il/ = ,8 intimate fri5ds1 = ,8 ,"m1 ,he did n "w miracles till ,he _h prov$ _! fai?4 ,did ,he n p]mit ,laz>us to die ev5 ?\gh ,m>y & ,m>?a _h s5t ^w t he 0 sick8 ,& at ! m>riage fea/ ( ,cana1 :5 ,our ,lady ask$ h] ,div9e ,son to aid ! ma/] ( ! h\se1 did ,he n answ] t ,8 h\r _h n yet come8 ,b aft] ! trial :at a rew>d6 ,wat] is *ang$ into w9e1 & ,laz>us rises f ! dead4 ,9 ?is way did my ,belov$ act ) ,8 little ,?rse2 aft] ,he _h tri$ h] = a long "t ,he grant$ all h] desires4 ,= my ,new ,ye>'s gift ( #ahhh1 ,jesus aga9 gave me ,8 ,cross4 ,y told me1 de> ,"m1 t y _h _h ! ,bi%op's answ] s9ce ,decemb] #bh1 ! fea/ ( ,holy ,innoc5ts2 t he au?oris$ my imm$iate entry into ! ,c>mel1 b t nev]!less y _h decid$ n to op5 its doors till aft] ,l5t4 ,i c\ld n re/ra9 my te>s at ! ?\ght ( su* a long delay4 ,?is trial affect$ me 9 a special mann]1 = ,i felt my e>?ly ties 7 sev]$1 & yet ! ,ark 9 its turn refus$ to admit ! poor little dove4 ,h[ did ^! ?ree mon?s pass8 ,!y 7 fruitful 9 suff]+s & /ill m s 9 o!r graces4 ,at fir/ ! ?\ght came into my m9d t ,i w\ld n put any extra re/ra9t on myself1 ,i w\ld lead a life some:at less /rictly ord]$ ?an 0 my cu/om4 ,b ,our ,"l made me und]/& ! b5efit ,i might d]ive f ?is "t ,he _h grant$ me1 & ,i !n resolv$ to give myself up to a m s]i\s & mortifi$ life4 ,:5 ,i say mortifi$1 ,i d n mean t ,i imitat$ ! p5ances ( ! ,sa9ts2 f> f resembl+ ^? beautiful s\ls :o h practis$ all sorts ( mortifications f _! infancy1 ,i made m9e consi/ 9 simply *eck+ my incl9ations1 keep+ back an impati5t answ]1 do+ little s]vices to ^? ar\nd me )\t sett+ /ore !reby1 & a hundr$ o!r ?+s ( ! k9d4 ,by practis+ ^! trifles ,i prep>$ myself to become ! ,sp\se ( ,jesus1 & ,i c nev] tell y1 ,"m1 h[ mu* ! add$ delay help$ me to gr[ 9 ab&onm5t1 9 humility1 & 9 o!r virtues4 #a ,joel #b3ai4 #b ,imitation ( ,*ri/1 ,,iii1 xxiv4 #b4 #c ,isa4 #fe3ae4 #d ,apoc4 #b3ag4 #e #a ,cor4 #d3e4 #f ,matt4 #e3ac4 #g ,tit4 #a3ae4 #h ,montm>tre--! ,m\nt ( ,m>tyrs--is ! hill :]eon ,/4 ,d5is1 apo/le & bi%op ( ,p>is1 0 m>tyr$ ) 8 two companions 9 ! ?ird c5tury4 ,x 0 a fam\s place ( pilgrimage 9 m$ieval times1 & "h ,/4 ,ignatius & ! fir/ ,jesuits took _! v[s4 ,"u ! presid5cy ( ,m>%al ,mac,mahon1 ! erection ( ! well-kn[n ,basilica 0 vot$ 9 #ahgc by ! ,fr5* ,*amb] ( ,deputies z a national act ( rep>ation to ! ,sacr$ ,he>t4 ,ed4 #i ,cemet]y4 #aj ,cf4 ,cant4 #g3a4 #aa ,(fice ( ,/4 ,cecilia4 #ab ,luke #ab3cb4 #ac ,luke #bb3bi4 #ad ,cf4 ,matt4 #bj3bb4 #ae ,luke #bd3bf4 ,,*apt] ,,vii ,,! ,,little ,,fl[] ,,ent]s ,,! ,,c>mel ,monday1 ,april #i1 #ahhh1 be+ ! ,fea/ ( ! ,annunciation1 transf]r$ f ,passiontide1 0 ! day *os5 = me to ent] ! ,c>mel4 ,on ! ev5+ be=e1 we 7 ga!r$ ar\nd ! table :]e ,i 0 to take my place = ! la/ "t4 ,^! f>ewells are 9 !mselves he>tr5d+1 & j :5 ,i w\ld h lik$ to be =gott5 ,i receiv$ ! t5d]e/ expressions ( affection1 z if to increase ! pa9 ( p>t+4 ,! next morn+1 aft] a la/ look at ! happy home ( my *ildhood1 ,i set out = ! ,c>mel1 :]e we all he>d ,mass4 ,at ! mom5t ( ,communion1 :5 ,jesus _h ent]$ our he>ts1 ,i he>d sobs on all sides4 ,i did n %$ a te>1 b z ,i l$ ! way to ! cloi/] door my he>t beat s viol5tly t ,i wond]$ if ,i 7 go+ to die4 ,oh1 ! agony ( t mom5t6 ,"o mu/ h exp]i5c$ x 9 ord] to und]/&4 ,i embrac$ all my de> ones & knelt = my ,fa!r's bless+4 ,he1 too1 knelt d[n & bless$ me ?r\gh 8 te>s4 ,x 0 a sight to gladd5 ! ,angels1 ?is old man giv+ 8 *ild to ,god :ile %e 0 yet 9 ! spr+time ( life4 ,at l5g? ! doors ( ! ,c>mel clos$ ^u me4 4 4 4 ,i f\nd a welcome 9 y\r arms1 de> ,"m1 & receiv$ ! embraces ( ano!r family1 ^: devot$ness & love is n dreamt ( by ! outside _w4 ,at la/ my desires 7 realis$1 & ,i _c describe ! deep sweet peace :i* fill$ my s\l4 ,?is peace has rema9$ ) me dur+ ! eight & a half ye>s ( my life "h1 & has nev] left me ev5 amid ! greate/ trials4 ,ev]y?+ 9 ! ,conv5t delight$ me1 especially our little cell4#a ,i fanci$ myself transport$ to ! des]t4 ,i repeat t my happ9ess 0 calm & peaceful--n ev5 ! lighte/ breeze ruffl$ ! tranquil wat]s on :i* my little b>que sail$2 no cl\d d>k5$ ! blue sky4 ,i felt fully recomp5s$ = all ,i _h gone ?r\gh1 & ,i kept say+3 ,n[ ,i am "h = ev]4 ,m9e 0 no pass+ joy1 x did n fade l fir/ illusions4 ,f illusions ,god 9 ,8 ,m]cy has ev] pres]v$ me4 ,i f\nd ! religi\s life j :at ,i expect$1 & sacrifice 0 nev] a matt] ( surprise4 ,yet y "k well t f ! beg9n+ my ways 0 /rewn ) ?orns r ?an ) roses4 ,9 ! fir/ place1 my s\l _h = its daily food ! bread ( spiritual dryness4 ,!n1 too1 de> ,"m1 ,our ,"l all[$ y1 unconsci\sly1 to treat me v sev]ely4 ,y f\nd fault ) me :5ev] y met me4 ,i rememb] once ,i _h left a cobweb 9 ! cloi/]1 & y said to me be=e ! :ole community3 ,x is easy to see t our cloi/]s are swept by a *ild ( fifte54 ,x is disgraceful6 ,g & sweep away t cobweb1 & be m c>eful 9 future4 ,on ! r>e occasions :5 ,i sp5t an h\r ) y = spiritual direction1 y seem$ to be scold+ me ne>ly all ! "t1 & :at pa9$ me mo/ ( all 0 t ,i did n see h[ to correct my faults3 = in/ance1 my sl[ ways & want ( ?or\ghness 9 my duties1 faults :i* y 7 c>eful to po9t out4 ,"o day x occurr$ to me t y w\ld c]ta9ly pref] me to sp5d my free "t 9 "w in/ead ( 9 pray]1 z 0 my cu/om2 s ,i pli$ my ne$le indu/ri\sly )\t ev5 rais+ my eyes4 ,no "o ev] knew ( ?is1 z ,i wi%$ to be fai?ful to ,our ,"l & d ?+s solely = ,him to see4 ,:5 ,i 0 a po/ulant our ,mi/ress us$ to s5d me e aft]noon at half-pa/ f\r to we$ ! g>d54 ,?is 0 a real p5ance1 ! m s1 de> ,"m1 because ,i 0 almo/ sure to meet y on ! way1 & once y rem>k$3 ,really1 ?is *ild does absolutely no?+4 ,:at are we to ?9k ( a novice :o mu/ h a walk e day8 ,& yet1 de> ,"m1 h[ grateful ,i am to y = giv+ me su* a s\nd & valuable tra9+4 ,x 0 an ine/imable grace4 ,:at %\ld ,i h become1 if1 z ! _w outside believ$1 ,i _h be5 b ! pet ( ! ,community8 ,p]haps1 in/ead ( see+ ,our ,"l 9 ! p]son ( my sup]iors1 ,i %\ld only h consid]$ ! creature1 & my he>t1 :i* _h be5 s c>efully gu>d$ 9 ! _w1 w\ld h be5 ensn>$ by human affection 9 ! cloi/]4 ,happily1 y\r mo!rly prud5ce sav$ me f su* a disa/]4 ,& n only 9 ?is matt]1 b 9 o!r & m bitt] trials1 ,i c truly say t ,suff]+ op5$ h] arms to me f ! fir/1 & ,i took h] to my he>t4 ,9 ! solemn exam9ation be=e my pr(ession ,i decl>$--z 0 cu/om>y--! reason ( my entry into ! ,c>mel3 ,i h come to save s\ls1 & especially to pray = ,prie/s4 ,"o _c atta9 ! end )\t adopt+ ! means1 & z ,our ,"l made me und]/& t x 0 by ! ,cross ,he w\ld give me s\ls1 ! m crosses ,i met )1 ! /rong] grew my attraction to suff]+4 ,= five ye>s ?is way 0 m9e1 b ,i alone knew x2 ?is 0 precisely ! fl[] ,i wi%$ to (f] to ,jesus1 a hidd5 fl[] :i* keeps its p]fume only = ,heav54 ,two mon?s aft] my entry ,fa!r ,pi*on 0 surpris$ at ! work+s ( grace 9 my s\l2 he ?\ght my piety *ildlike & my pa? an easy "o4 ,my conv]sation ) ?is good ,fa!r w\ld h br\ght me great com=t1 _h x n be5 = ! extreme difficulty ,i f\nd 9 op5+ my he>t4 ,nev]!less ,i made a g5]al confession1 & aft] x he said to me3 ,be=e ,god1 ! ,bless$ ,virg91 & ,angels1 & all ! ,sa9ts1 ,i decl>e t y h nev] committ$ a mortal s94 ,?ank ,god = ! fav\rs ,he has s freely be/[$ on y )\t any m]it on y\r "p4 ,)\t any m]it on my "p6 ,t 0 n difficult to believe4 ,fully consci\s ( my weakness & imp]fection1 my he>t ov]fl[$ ) gratitude4 ,i _h di/ress$ myself1 fe>+ ,i might h /a9$ my baptismal robe1 & ?is assurance1 com+ z x did f ! lips ( a director1 a man ( wisdom & hol9ess1 su* z our ,"m ,/4 ,t]esa desir$1 seem$ to come f ,god ,himself4 ,fa!r ,pi*on add$3 ,may ,our ,"l always be y\r ,sup]ior & y\r ,novice ,ma/]6 ,& inde$ ,he ev] 01 & likewise my ,director4 ,9 say+ ?is ,i d n mean to imply t ,i 0 n communicative ) my sup]iors2 f> f be+ res]v$1 ,i always tri$ to be z an op5 book4 ,our ,mi/ress 0 a true sa9t1 ! p]fect type ( ! fir/ ,c>melites1 & ,i seldom left h] side1 = %e _h to tea* me h[ to "w4 ,h] k9dness 0 beyond words1 ,i lov$ & appreciat$ h]1 & yet my s\l did n exp&4 ,i c\ld n expla9 myself1 words fail$ me1 & s ! "t ( spiritual direction became a v]itable m>tyrdom4 ,"o ( ! old] nuns seem$ to und]/& :at ,i felt1 = %e once said to me dur+ recreation3 ,i %\ld ?9k1 *ild1 y h n mu* to tell y\r sup]iors4 ,:y d y ?9k t1 de> ,"m8 ,i ask$4 ,because y\r s\l is v simple2 b :5 y are p]fect y w become m simple /ill4 ,! ne>] "o approa*es ,god1 ! simpl] "o becomes4 ,?is good ,"m 0 "r4 ,nev]!less ! great difficulty ,i f\nd 9 op5+ my he>t1 ?\gh x came f simplicity1 0 a g5u9e trial4 ,n[1 h[ev]1 )\t hav+ lo/ my simplicity1 ,i am able to express my ?\ghts ) ! greate/ ease4 ,i h already said t ,our ,"l ,himself _h act$ z my ,spiritual ,guide4 ,h>dly _h ,fa!r ,pi*on become my director :5 8 ,sup]iors s5t him to ,canada4 ,i 0 only able to he> f him once 9 ! ye>1 s n[ ! ,little ,fl[] :i* _h be5 transplant$ to ! m\nta9 ( ,c>mel quickly turn$ to ! ,director ( ,directors1 & unfold$ itself "u ! %ad[ ( ,8 ,cross1 hav+ = refre%+ dew ,8 ,te>s1 ,8 ,preci\s ,blood1 & = radiant sun ,8 ,adorable ,face4 ,until !n ,i _h n appreciat$ ! beauties ( ! ,holy ,face2 x 0 my de> ,"m1 ,agnes ( ,jesus1 :o unveil$ !m to me4 ,z %e _h be5 ! fir/ ( h] si/]s to ent] ! ,c>mel1 s %e 0 ! fir/ to p5etrate ! my/]ies ( love hidd5 9 ! ,face ( ,our ,div9e ,sp\se4 ,!n %e %[$ !m to me & ,i und]/ood bett] ?an ev]1 9 :at true glory consi/s4 ,he ^: ,k+dom is n ( ?is _w#b taught me t ! only royalty to be covet$ lies 9 be+ unkn[n & e/eem$ z naught1#c & 9 ! joy ( self-abasem5t4 ,& ,i wi%$ t my face1 l ! ,face ( ,jesus1 %\ld be1 z x 71 hidd5 & despis$1#d s t no "o on e>? %\ld e/eem me4 ,i ?ir/$ to suff] & to be =gott54 ,mo/ m]ciful has be5 ! way by :i* ! ,div9e ,ma/] has ev] l$ me4 ,he has nev] inspir$ me ) any desire & left x unsatisfi$1 & t is :y ,i h always f\nd ,8 bitt] *alice full ( sweetness4 ,at ! end ( ,may1 ,m>ie1 our elde/1 0 pr(ess$1 & ,?rse1 ! ,b5jam91 _h ! privilege ( cr[n+ h] ) roses on ! day ( h] my/ical esp\sals4 ,aft] ?is happy fea/ trials aga9 came ^u u4 ,ev] s9ce 8 fir/ attack ( p>alysis we realis$ t my ,fa!r 0 v easily tir$4 ,dur+ our j\rney to ,rome ,i (t5 notic$ t he seem$ exhau/$ & 9 pa94 ,b1 above all1 ,i rem>k$ 8 progress 9 ! pa? ( hol9ess2 he _h succe$$ 9 obta9+ a complete ma/]y ov] ! impetuosity ( 8 natural disposition1 & e>?ly ?+s 7 unable to ruffle 8 calm4 ,let me give y an in/ance4 ,dur+ our pilgrimage we 7 9 ! tra9 = days & nights toge!r1 & to wile away ! "t our companions play$ c>ds1 & occasionally grew v noisy4 ,"o day !y ask$ u to jo9 !m1 b we refus$1 say+ we knew little ab\t ! game2 we did n f9d ! "t long--only too %ort1 inde$1 to enjoy ! beautiful views :i* op5$ be=e u4 ,pres5tly _! annoyance became evid5t1 & !n de> ,papa began quietly to def5d u1 po9t+ out t z we 7 on pilgrimage1 m ( our "t might be giv5 to pray]4 ,"o ( ! play]s1 =gett+ ! respect due to age1 call$ out ?\ghtlessly3 ,?ank ,god1 ,ph>isees are r>e6 ,my ,fa!r did n answ] a ^w1 he ev5 seem$ pleas$2 & lat] on he f\nd an opportunity ( %ak+ h&s ) ?is man1 & ( speak+ s pleasantly t ! latt] mu/ h ?\ght 8 rude words _h ei!r n be5 he>d1 or at lea/ 7 =gott54 ,8 habit ( =giv5ess did n date f ?is day2 my ,"m & all :o knew him bore witness t no un*>itable ^w ev] pass$ 8 lips4 ,8 fai? & g5]osity 7 likewise equal to any trial4 ,?is is h[ he ann\nc$ my dep>ture to "o ( 8 fri5ds3 ,?rse1 my little ,que51 ent]$ ! ,c>mel ye/]day4 ,god alone c\ld ask su* a sacrifice2 b ,he helps me s mightily t ev5 9 ! mid/ ( te>s my he>t is ov]fl[+ ) joy4 ,?is fai?ful s]vant mu/ ne$s receive a rew>d wor?y ( 8 virtues1 & he himself claim$ t rew>d4 ,y rememb] ! int]view :5 he said to u3 ,*ildr51 ,i h j come back f ,al5on1 & !re1 9 ! ,*ur* ( ,notre ,dame1 ,i receiv$ su* graces & consolations t ,i made ?is pray]3 ',my ,god1 x is too mu*1 yes1 ,i am too happy2 ,i %all n get to ,heav5 l ?is1 ,i wi% to suff] some?+ = ,!e--& ,i (f]$ myself z a'--! ^w victim di$ on 8 lips4 ,he d>$ n pron\nce x be=e u1 b we und]/ood4 ,y "k1 de> ,"m1 ! /ory ( our trial2 ,i ne$ n recall its sorr[ful details4 ,& n[ my clo?+ day drew ne>4 ,contr>y to all expectations1 my ,fa!r _h recov]$ f a second attack1 & ! ,bi%op fix$ ! c]emony = ,janu>y #aj4 ,! "t ( wait+ _h be5 long inde$1 b n[ :at a beautiful fea/6 ,no?+ 0 want+1 n ev5 sn[4 ,d y rememb] my tell+ y1 de> ,"m1 h[ fond ,i am ( sn[8 ,:ile ,i 0 /ill q small1 its :it5ess entranc$ me4 ,:y _h ,i su* a fancy = sn[8 ,p]haps x 0 because1 be+ a little w9t] fl[]1 my eyes fir/ saw ! e>? clad 9 its beautiful :ite mantle4 ,s1 on my clo?+ day1 ,i wi%$ to see x deck$1 l myself1 9 spotless :ite4 ,! wea!r 0 s mild t x might h be5 spr+1 & ,i no long] d>$ hope = sn[4 ,! morn+ ( ! fea/ br\ght no *ange & ,i gave up my *ildi% desire1 z impossible to be realis$4 ,my ,fa!r came to meet me at ! enclosure door1 8 eyes full ( te>s1 & press+ me to 8 he>t exclaim$3 ,ah6 ,"h is my little ,que56 ,!n1 giv+ me 8 arm1 we made our solemn entry into ! public ,*apel4 ,?is 0 8 day ( triumph1 8 la/ fea/ on e>?2 n[ 8 sacrifice 0 complete1 & 8 *ildr5 belong$ to ,god4#e ,cl9e _h already confid$ to him t lat] on %e also wi%$ to leave ! _w = ! ,c>mel4 ,on he>+ ?is he 0 beside himself ) joy3 ,let u g be=e ! ,bless$ ,sacram5t1 he said1 & ?ank ,god = all ! graces ,he has grant$ u & ! hon\r ,he has paid me 9 *oos+ ,8 ,sp\ses f my h\sehold4 ,god has inde$ done me great hon\r 9 ask+ = my *ildr54 ,if ,i possess$ any?+ bett] ,i w\ld ha/5 to (f] x to ,him4 ,t some?+ bett] 0 himself1 & ,god receiv$ him z a victim ( holocau/2 ,he tri$ him z gold 9 ! furnace1 & f\nd him wor?y ( ,himself4#f ,aft] ! c]emony 9 ! ,*apel ,i re-ent]$ ! ,conv5t & ! ,bi%op inton$ ! ,te ,deum4 ,"o ( ! ,prie/s obs]v$ to him t ?is hymn ( ?anksgiv+ 0 only sung at pr(essions1 b1 once begun1 x 0 cont9u$ to ! end4 ,0 x n "r t ?is fea/ %\ld be complete1 s9ce 9 x all o!r joyful days 7 reunit$8 ,! in/ant ,i set foot 9 ! enclosure aga9 my eyes fell on ! /atue ( ! ,*ild ,jesus smil+ on me amid ! fl[]s & lights2 !n1 turn+ t[>ds ! quadrangle1 ,i saw t1 9 spite ( ! mildness ( ! wea!r1 x 0 cov]$ ) sn[4 ,:at a delicate att5tion on ! "p ( ,jesus6 ,gratify+ ! lea/ wi% ( ,8 little ,sp\se1 ,he ev5 s5t h] ?is4 ,:]e is ! creature s mighty t he c make "o flake ( x fall to please 8 belov$8 ,ev]yone 0 amaz$1 & s9ce !n _m p1 he>+ ( my desire1 h describ$ ?is ev5t z ! little miracle ( my clo?+ day1 & ?\ght x /range ,i %\ld be s fond ( sn[4 ,s mu* ! bett]1 x %[s /ill m ! wond]ful condesc5sion ( ! ,sp\se ( ,virg9s--( ,him ,:o loves lilies :ite z ! sn[4 ,aft] ! c]emony ! ,bi%op ent]$4 ,he gave me _m pro(s ( 8 fa!rly t5d]ness1 &1 9 pres5ce ( all ! ,prie/s1 spoke ( my visit to ,bayeux & ! j\rney to ,rome2 nor did he =get to tell !m h[ ,i _h put up my hair be=e visit+ him4 ,!n1 lay+ 8 h& on my head1 he bless$ me affectionately4 ,my m9d dwelt ) ineffable sweetness on ! c>esses ,our ,"l w soon lavi% ^u me be=e all ! ,sa9ts1 & ?is consol+ ?\ght 0 a =eta/e ( ,heav54 ,i h j said t ,janu>y #aj 0 a day ( triumph = my de> ,fa!r4 ,i lik5 x to ! fea/ ( ! entry ( ,*ri/ into ,j]usalem1 on ,palm ,sunday4 ,z 9 ! case ( ,our ,div9e ,ma/]1 8 day ( triumph 0 foll[$ by long days ( sorr[2 &1 ev5 z ! agony ( ,jesus pi]c$ ! he>t ( ,8 div9e ,"m1 s our he>ts 7 deeply w\nd$ by ! humiliations & suff]+s ( him1 :om we lov$ be/ on e>?4 4 4 4 ,i rememb] t 9 ! mon? ( ,june #ahhh1 :5 we 7 fe>+ ano!r /roke ( p>alysis1 ,i surpris$ our ,novice ,mi/ress by say+3 ,i am suff]+ a great deal1 ,"m1 yet ,i feel ,i c suff] /ill m4 ,i did n !n =esee ! trial await+ u4 ,i did n "k t on ,febru>y #ab1 "o mon? aft] my clo?+ day1 our belov$ ,fa!r w\ld dr9k s deeply ( su* a bitt] *alice4 ,i no long] said ,i c\ld suff] m1 words _c express our grief2 nor %all ,i attempt to describe x "h4 ,9 ,heav51 we %all enjoy dwell+ on ^! d>k days ( exile4 ,yet ! ?ree ye>s ( my ,fa!r's m>tyrdom seem to me ! sweete/ & mo/ fruitful ( our lives4 ,i w\ld n ex*ange !m = ! mo/ sublime ec/asies1 & my he>t cries out 9 gratitude = su* a priceless treasure3 ,we h rejoic$ = ! days :]e9 ,?\ ha/ afflict$ u4#g ,preci\s & sweet 0 ?is bitt] cross1 & our he>ts only brea!d out sighs ( grateful love4 ,we no long] walk$--we ran1 we flew along ! pa? ( p]fection4 ,lonie & ,cl9e1 ?\gh liv+ 9 ! _w1 7 no long] ( ! _w4 ,! lett]s !y wrote 7 full ( ! mo/ edify+ resignation4 ,& :at talks ,i _h ) ,cl9e6 ,f> f sep>at+ u1 ! grat+ ( ! ,c>mel unit$ u m closely3 ! same ?\ghts1 ! same desires1 ! same love = ,our ,"l & = s\ls1 made our v life4 ,n a ^w conc]n+ ?+s ( e>? ent]$ into our conv]sation2 b1 j z 9 =m] days we lift$ long+ eyes to ,heav51 s n[ our he>ts /ra9$ aft] ! joys beyond "t & space1 &1 = ! sake ( an et]nal happ9ess1 we *ose to suff] & be despis$ "h bel[4 ,?\gh my suff]+ seem$ to h rea*$ its height1 yet my attraction !reto did n gr[ less1 & soon my s\l %>$ 9 ! trials my he>t _h to be>4 ,my spiritual aridity increas$1 & ,i f\nd no com=t ei!r 9 ,heav5 or on e>?2 yet1 amid ^! wat]s ( tribulation t ,i _h s ?ir/$ =1 ,i 0 ! happie/ ( mortals4 ,?us pass$ ! "t ( my betro?al1 too long a "t = me4 ,at ! end ( ! ye> y told me1 de> ,"m1 t ,i mu/ n yet ?9k ( my pr(ession1 z our ,ecclesia/ical ,sup]ior expressly =bade x4 ,i _h !re=e to wait = eight mon?s m4 ,at fir/ ,i f\nd x v difficult to be resign$ to su* a sacrifice1 b div9e light p5etrat$ my s\l be=e long4 ,at ?is "t ,i 0 us+ = my m$itations ,sur9's ,f\ndations ( ! ,spiritual life4 ,"o day dur+ pray]1 x 0 br\ght home to me t my too eag] desire to take my v[s 0 m+l$ ) mu* self-love2 z ,i belong$ to ,our ,"l & 0 ,8 little play?+ to console & please ,him1 x 0 = me to d ,8 ,w1 n = ,him to d m9e4 ,i also und]/ood t a bride w\ld n be pleas+ to ! bridegroom on h] w$d+ day 7 %e n magnific5tly attir$4 ,b1 :at _h ,i made ready8 ,s ,i said to ,our ,"l3 ,i d n ask ,!e to ha/5 ! day ( my pr(ession1 ,i w wait z long z ,?\ please/1 only ,i _c be> t ?r\gh any fault ( m9e my union ) ,!e %\ld be delay$2 ,i w set to "w & c>efully prep>e a w$d+-dress enri*$ ) diamonds & preci\s /ones1 &1 :5 ,?\ f9de/ x suffici5tly ri*1 ,i am sure t no?+ w keep ,!e f accept+ me z ,?y ,sp\se4 ,i took up ! task ) r5ew$ ze/4 ,s9ce my clo?+ day ,i _h receiv$ abundant lights on religi\s p]fection1 *iefly conc]n+ ! v[ ( pov]ty4 ,:il/ ,i 0 a po/ulant ,i lik$ to h nice ?+s to use & to f9d ev]y?+ ne$ful ready to h&4 ,jesus bore ) me pati5tly1 = ,he gives ,8 light little by little4 ,at ! beg9n+ ( my spiritual life1 ab\t ! age ( f\rte51 ,i us$ to ask myself h[1 9 days to come1 ,i %\ld m cle>ly und]/& ! true mean+ ( p]fection4 ,i imag9$ ,i !n und]/ood x completely1 b ,i soon came to realise t ! m "o advances along ?is pa? ! f>!r "o seems f ! goal1 & n[ ,i am resign$ to be always imp]fect1 & ,i ev5 f9d joy !re94 ,to return to ! lessons :i* ,our ,"l taught me4 ,"o ev5+ aft] ,compl9e ,i se>*$ 9 va9 = our lamp on ! %elves :]e !y are kept1 &1 z x 0 ! "t ( ! ,great ,sil5ce1 ,i c\ld n recov] x4 ,i guess$ rightly t a ,si/]1 believ+ x to be h] own1 _h tak5 x2 b j on t ev5+ ,i _h c\nt$ mu* on do+ "s "w1 & 0 ,i to sp5d a :ole h\r 9 ! d>k on acc\nt ( ?is mi/ake8 ,)\t ! int]ior light ( grace ,i %\ld und\bt$ly h piti$ myself1 b1 ) t light1 ,i felt happy in/ead ( aggriev$1 & reflect$ t pov]ty consi/s 9 be+ depriv$ n only ( :at is conv5i5t1 b ( :at is necess>y4 ,&1 9 ?is ext]ior d>kness1 ,i f\nd my s\l illum9$ by a brightness t 0 div9e4 ,at ?is "t ,i 0 seiz$ ) a crav+ = :atev] 0 ugly & inconv5i5t2 & 0 ?us q pleas$ :5 a pretty little jug 0 tak5 f our cell & a l>ge *ipp$ "o put 9 its place4 ,i also tri$ h>d n to make excuses1 b ,i f\nd ?is v difficult1 especially ) our ,mi/ress2 f h] ,i did n l to hide any?+4 ,my fir/ victory 0 n a great "o1 b x co/ me a good deal4 ,a small j>1 left beh9d a w9d[1 0 f\nd brok54 ,no "o knew :o _h put x !re1 b our ,mi/ress 0 displeas$1 &1 ?9k+ ,i 0 to blame 9 leav+ x ab\t1 told me ,i 0 v untidy & mu/ be m c>eful 9 future4 ,)\t answ]+1 ,i kiss$ ! gr\nd & promis$ to be m obs]vant4 ,i 0 s little advanc$ 9 virtue t ^! small sacrifices co/ me de>1 & ,i _h to console myself ) ! ?\ght t at ! day ( ,judgm5t all w\ld be kn[n4 ,above all ,i endeav\r$ to practise little hidd5 acts ( virtue2 ?us ,i took pleasure 9 fold+ ! mantles =gott5 by ! ,si/]s1 & ,i s\ght = e possible occasion ( help+ !m4 ,"o ( ,god's gifts 0 a great attraction t[>ds p5ance1 b ,i 0 n p]mitt$ to satisfy x2 ! only mortification all[$ me consi/$ 9 mortify+ my self-love1 & ?is did me f> m good ?an bodily p5ance w\ld h done4 ,h[ev]1 ,our ,lady help$ me ) my w$d+-dress1 &1 z soon z x 0 f9i%$1 e ob/acle vani%$ & my pr(ession 0 fix$ = ,septemb] #h1 #ahij4 ,all t ,i h set d[n 9 ^! few words w\ld take _m pages to relate2 b ^? pages w nev] be read on e>?4 4 4 4 #a ,nuns1 9 ! _s ( pov]ty1 avoid us+ ! ^w my1 z d5ot+ private possessions2 s1 lat] on1 our lamp1 our h&k]*ief1 w occur4 ,ed4 #b ,john #ah3cf4 #c ,imit41 ,i1 ii4 #c4 #d ,is4 #ec3c4 #e ,lonie1 hav+ ent]$ an ord] too sev]e = h] delicate heal?1 _h be5 oblig$ to return home to h] ,fa!r4 ,lat] %e became a ,visitation nun at ,ca51 & took ! "n ( ,si/] ,frances ,t]esa4 #f ,cf4 ,wisdom #c3e1f4 #g ,ps4 #hiij3ae4 ,,*apt] ,,viii ,,pr(ession ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se ,ne$ ,i tell y1 de> ,"m1 ab\t ! retreat be=e my pr(ession8 ,f> f receiv+ consolation1 ,i w5t ?r\gh x 9 a /ate ( utt] dryness & z if ab&on$ by ,god4 ,jesus1 z 0 ,8 wont1 slept 9 my little b>que4 ,h[ r>ely d s\ls suff] ,him to sleep 9 peace6 ,?is ,good ,ma/] is s we>i$ ) cont9ually mak+ fre% advances t ,he eag]ly avails ,himself ( ! repose ,i (f] ,him1 &1 no d\bt1 ,he w sleep on until my great & ev]la/+ retreat2 b1 in/ead ( be+ griev$ at ?is1 ,i am glad4 ,9 tru? ,i am no ,sa9t1 z ?is frame ( m9d well %[s4 ,i ought n to rejoice 9 my dryness ( s\l1 b r attribute x to my want ( f]v\r & fidelity4 ,t ,i fall asleep s (t5 dur+ m$itation1 & ?anksgiv+ aft] ,communion1 %\ld di/ress me4 ,well1 ,i am n di/ress$4 ,i reflect t little *ildr5 are equally de> to _! p>5ts :e!r !y are asleep or awake2 t1 9 ord] to p]=m op]ations1 doctors put _! pati5ts to sleep2 & f9ally t ,! ,"l kn[e? our frame1 ,he rememb]e? t we are b du/4#a ,yet1 app>5tly b>r5 z 0 my retreat--& ^? :i* foll[$ h be5 no less s--,i unconsci\sly receiv$ _m int]ior lights on ! be/ means ( pleas+ ,god1 & practis+ virtue4 ,i h (t5 obs]v$ t ,our ,"l w n give me any /ore ( provisions1 b n\ri%es me ea* mom5t ) food t is ev] new2 ,i f9d x )9 me )\t kn[+ h[ x has come !re4 ,i simply believe t x is ,jesus ,himself hidd5 9 my poor he>t1 :o is secretly at "w1 inspir+ me ) :at ,he wi%es me to d z ea* occasion arises4 ,%ortly be=e my pr(ession ,i receiv$ ! ,holy ,fa!r's bless+1 ?r\gh ! h&s ( ,bro!r ,simeon2 & ?is preci\s ,bless+ und\bt$ly help$ me ?r\gh ! mo/ t]rible /orm ( my :ole life4 ,on ! eve ( ! great day1 in/ead ( be+ fill$ ) ! cu/om>y sweetness1 my vocation sudd5ly seem$ to me z unreal z a dream4 ,! devil--= x 0 he--made me feel sure t ,i 0 :olly unsuit$ = life 9 ! ,c>mel1 & t ,i 0 deceiv+ my sup]iors by ent]+ on a way to :i* ,i 0 n call$4 ,! d>kness 0 s bewild]+ t ,i und]/ood b "o ?+--,i _h no religi\s vocation1 & mu/ return to ! _w4 ,i _c describe ! agony ,i endur$4 ,:at 0 ,i to d 9 su* a difficulty8 ,i *ose ! "r c\rse1 decid+ to tell my ,novice ,mi/ress ( ! temptation )\t delay4 ,i s5t = h] to come out ( *oir1 & ?\gh full ( confusion1 ,i confess$ ! /ate ( my s\l4 ,=tunately %e saw m cle>ly ?an ,i did1 & reassur$ me completely by laugh+ frankly at my /ory4 ,! devil 0 put to in/ant flight by my humble av[al2 :at he want$ 0 to keep me f speak+1 & ?us draw me into 8 sn>es4 ,b x 0 my turn n[ to ensn>e him1 =1 to make my humiliation m complete1 ,i also told y ev]y?+1 de> ,"m1 & y\r consol+ words dispell$ my la/ fe>s4 ,on ! morn+ ( ,septemb] #h1 a wave ( peace flood$ my s\l1 &1 9 t peace :i* surpasse? all und]/&+1#b ,i pron\nc$ my holy v[s4 ,_m 7 ! graces ,i ask$4 ,i felt myself truly a que5 & took advantage ( my title to obta9 e fav\r f ! ,k+ = ,8 ungrateful subjects4 ,no "o 0 =gott54 ,i wi%$ t e s9n] on e>? might be conv]t$2 t on t day ,purgatory %\ld set its captives free2 & ,i bore ^u my he>t ?is lett] conta9+ :at ,i desir$ = myself3 ,o ,jesus1 my ,div9e ,sp\se1 grant t my baptismal robe may nev] be sulli$4 ,take me f ?is _w r ?an let me /a9 my s\l by committ+ ! lea/ wilful fault4 ,may ,i nev] seek or f9d aught b ,!e alone6 ,may all creatures be no?+ to me & ,i no?+ to !m6 ,may no e>?ly ?+ di/urb my peace6 ,o ,jesus1 ,i ask b ,peace4 4 4 4 ,peace1 & above all1 ,love4 4 4 4 ,love--)\t limit4 ,jesus1 ,i ask t = ,?y sake ,i may die a ,m>tyr2 give me m>tyrdom ( s\l or body4 ,or r give me bo? ! "o & ! o!r4 ,grant t ,i may fulfill my engagem5ts 9 all _! p]fection2 t no "o may ?9k ( me2 t ,i may be trodd5 "u foot1 =gott51 z a little gra9 ( s&4 ,i (f] myself to ,!e1 ,o my ,belov$1 t ,?\ maye/ ev] p]fectly accompli% 9 me ,?y ,holy ,w1 )\t let or h9drance f creatures4 ,:5 at ! close ( ?is glori\s day ,i laid my cr[n ( roses1 accord+ to cu/om1 at ,our ,lady's feet1 x 0 )\t regret4 ,i felt t "t w\ld nev] less5 my happ9ess4 ,x 0 ! ,nativity ( ,m>y4 ,:at a beautiful fea/ on :i* to become ! ,sp\se ( ,jesus6 ,x 0 ! little new-born ,holy ,virg9 :o pres5t$ h] little ,fl[] to ! little ,jesus4 ,t day ev]y?+ 0 little except ! graces ,i receiv$--except my peace & joy 9 gaz+ ^u ! beautiful />-lit sky at night1 & 9 ?9k+ t soon ,i %\ld fly away to ,heav5 & be unit$ to my ,div9e ,sp\se amid et]nal bliss4 ,on ,septemb] #bd took place ! c]emony ( my receiv+ ! veil4 ,?is fea/ 0 inde$ veil$ 9 te>s4 ,papa 0 too ill to come & bless 8 little ,que52 at ! la/ m9ute ,mgr4 ,hugon91 :o %\ld h presid$1 0 unable to d s1 &1 = o!r reasons also1 ! day 0 a pa9ful "o4 ,& yet amid x all1 my s\l 0 pr(\ndly at peace4 ,t day x pleas$ ,our ,"l t ,i %\ld n be able to re/ra9 my te>s1 & ^? te>s 7 n und]/ood4 ,x is true ,i _h borne f> h>d] trials )\t %$d+ a te>2 b !n ,i _h be5 help$ by special graces1 :il/ on ?is day ,jesus left me to myself1 & ,i soon %[$ my weakness4 ,eight days aft] ,i _h tak5 ! veil my c\s91 ,jeanne ,gur91 0 m>ri$ to ,dr4 ,la ,nele4 ,:5 %e came to see u aft]w>ds & ,i he>d ( all ! little att5tions %e lavi%$ on h] husb&1 my he>t ?rill$ & ,i ?\ght3 ,x %all nev] be said t a woman 9 ! _w does m = h] husb& ?an ,i d = ,jesus1 my ,belov$4 ,&1 fill$ ) fre% ard\r1 ,i set myself m e>ne/ly ?an ev] to please my ,heav5ly ,sp\se1 ! ,k+ ( ,k+s1 ,:o _h deign$ to hon\r me by a div9e alliance4 ,hav+ se5 ! lett] ann\nc+ ! m>riage1 ,i amus$ myself by compos+ ! foll[+ invitation1 :i* ,i read to ! novices 9 ord] to br+ home to !m :at _h /ruck me s =cibly--t ! glory ( all e>?ly unions is z no?+ comp>$ to ! titles ( a ,sp\se ( ,our ,div9e ,"l4 ,god ,almighty1 ,creator ( ,heav5 & ,e>?1 ,sov]eign ,rul] ( ! ,univ]se1 & ! ,glori\s ,virg9 ,m>y1 ,que5 ( ! ,heav5ly ,c\rt1 ann\nce to y ! ,spiritual ,esp\sals ( _! ,augu/ ,son1 ,jesus1 ,k+ ( ,k+s & ,"l ( ,lords1 ) little ,?rse ,m>t91 n[ ,pr9cess & ,lady ( ,8 ,k+doms ( ! ,holy ,*ildhood & ! ,passion1 assign$ to h] z a d[ry1 by h] ,div9e ,sp\se1 f :i* ,k+doms %e holds h] titles ( nobility--( ! ,*ild ,jesus & ( ! ,holy ,face4 ,x 0 n possible to invite y to ! ,w$d+ ,fea/ :i* took place on ! ,m\nta9 ( ,c>mel1 ,septemb] #h1 #ahij--! ,heav5ly ,c\rt 0 alone admitt$--b y are reque/$ to be pres5t at ! ,w$d+ ,fea/ :i* w take place to-morr[1 ! day ( ,et]nity1 :5 ,jesus1 ! ,son ( ,god1 w come 9 ! cl\ds ( ,heav51 9 ! spl5d\r ( ,8 ,maje/y1 to judge ! liv+ & ! dead4 ,! h\r be+ /ill unc]ta91 y are ask$ to hold y\rselves 9 read9ess & wat*4#c ,& n[1 ,"m1 :at m %all ,i say8 ,x 0 ?r\gh y\r h&s t ,i gave myself to ,our ,"l1 & y h kn[n me f *ildhood--ne$ ,i write my secrets8 ,=give me if ,i cut %ort ! /ory ( my religi\s life4 ,dur+ ! g5]al retreat foll[+ my pr(ession ,i receiv$ great graces4 ,z a rule ,i f9d prea*$ retreats mo/ try+1 b ?is "o 0 q an exception4 ,i anticipat$ s mu* suff]+ t ,i prep>$ myself by a f]v5t nov5a4 ,x 0 said t ! good ,prie/ und]/ood bett] h[ to conv]t s9n]s ?an to direct ! s\ls ( nuns4 ,well !n1 ,i mu/ be a great s9n]1 = ,god made use ( ?is holy religi\s to br+ me mu* consolation4 ,at t "t ,i _h all k9ds ( int]ior trials :i* ,i f\nd x impossible to expla9 to anyone2 sudd5ly1 ,i 0 able to lay op5 my :ole s\l4 ,! ,fa!r und]/ood me 9 a m>vell\s way2 he seem$ to div9e my /ate1 & laun*$ me full sail ^u t ocean ( confid5ce & love 9 :i* ,i _h long$ to advance1 b s f> _h n d>$4 ,he told me t my faults did n pa9 ! ,good ,god1 & add$3 ,at ?is mom5t ,i hold ,8 place1 & ,i assure y f ,him t ,he is well pleas$ ) y\r s\l4 ,h[ happy ^! consol+ words made me6 ,i _h nev] be5 told be=e t x 0 possible = faults n to pa9 ! ,sacr$ ,he>t2 ?is assurance fill$ me ) joy & help$ me to be> ) pati5ce ! exile ( ?is life4 ,x 0 also ! e*o ( my inmo/ ?\ghts4 ,9 tru? ,i _h long kn[n t ! ,"l is m t5d] ?an a "m1 & ,i h s\nd$ ! dep?s ( m ?an "o "m's he>t4 ,i "k t a "m is ev] ready to =give h] *ild's small ?\ghtless faults4 ,h[ (t5 h ,i n _h ?is sweet exp]i5ce6 ,no reproa* c\ld h t\*$ me m ?an "o s+le kiss f my ,"m4 ,my nature is su* t fe> makes me %r9k1 :ile1 "u love's sweet rule1 ,i n only advance--,i fly4 ,two mon?s aft] ?is happy retreat our ,v5]able ,f\ndress1 ,"m ,g5evieve ( ,/4 ,t]esa1 quitt$ our little conv5t to ent] ! ,heav5ly ,c>mel4 ,be=e speak+ ( my impressions at ! "t ( h] dea?1 ,i %\ld l to tell y :at a joy x 0 to h liv$ = "s ye>s ) a s\l ^: hol9ess 0 n inimitable1 b lay 9 ! practice ( simple & hidd5 virtues4 ,m ?an once %e 0 to me a s\rce ( great consolation4 ,"o ,sunday ,i w5t to ! infirm>y to pay h] a visit1 b1 z two ( ! old] nuns 7 !re1 ,i 0 retir+ quietly1 :5 %e call$ me & said1 ) some?+ ( inspiration 9 h] mann]3 ,wait1 my *ild1 ,i h j a ^w = y2 y are always ask+ me = a spiritual b\quet1 well1 to-day ,i give y ?is "o3 ,s]ve ! ,"l 9 peace & 9 joy4 ,rememb] t ,our ,god is ! ,god ( peace4 ,i ?ank$ h] q simply & w5t out ( ! room4 ,i 0 mov$ almo/ to te>s1 & 0 conv9c$ t ,god _h reveal$ to h] ! /ate ( my s\l4 ,t day ,i _h be5 sorely tri$1 almo/ to sadness4 ,su* 0 ! d>kness t ,i no long] knew if ,i 7 belov$ ( ,god1 & s1 de> ,"m1 y c und]/& :at light & consolation succe$$ ?is gloom4 ,! foll[+ ,sunday ,i ask$ h] :e!r %e _h receiv$ any revelation ab\t me1 b %e assur$ me t %e _h n1 & ?is only made me admire h] ! m1 = x %[$ h[ intimately ,jesus liv$ 9 h] s\l & direct$ h] words & actions4 ,su* hol9ess seems to me ! mo/ true1 ! mo/ holy2 x is ! hol9ess ,i desire1 = x is free f all illusion4 ,on ! day :5 ?is rev]$ ,"m end$ h] exile1 ,i receiv$ a v special grace4 ,x 0 ! fir/ "t ,i _h assi/$ at a dea?-b$1 yet ?\gh ! sight en*ant$ me by its beauty1 my two h\rs ( wat*+ _h made me v dr[sy4 ,i 0 griev$ at ?is1 b1 at ! mom5t h] s\l took its flight to ,heav51 my feel+s 7 completely *ang$4 ,9 an in/ant ,i 0 fill$ ) an indescribable joy & f]v\r1 z if ! s\l ( our bless$ ,f\ndress made me %>e 9 ! happ9ess %e already enjoy$--= ,i am q conv9c$ %e w5t /raight to ,heav54 ,i _h said to h] "s "t previ\sly3 ,y w n g to ,purgatory1 de> ,"m4 ,i hope n1 %e answ]$ sweetly4 ,c]ta9ly ,god w\ld n disappo9t a hope s full ( humility2 & ! pro( t ,he did n1 lies 9 ! _m fav\rs we h receiv$4 ,! ,si/]s ha/5$ to claim some?+ belong+ to our belov$ ,"m1 & y "k :at a preci\s relic is m9e4 ,dur+ h] agony ,i _h notic$ a te> gli/5+ l a beautiful diamond4 ,t te>1 ! la/ %e %$ on ?is e>?1 did n fall1 ,i /ill saw x %9+ :5 h] body 0 expos$ 9 ! *oir4 ,:5 ev5+ came1 ,i made bold to approa* unse51 ) a little piece ( l951 & ,i n[ h ! happ9ess ( possess+ ! la/ te> ( a ,sa9t4 ,i atta* no importance to my dreams1 & inde$1 !y seldom h any special mean+1 ?\gh ,i d (t5 wond] h[ x is t1 z ,i ?9k ( ,god all ! day1 my m9d does n dwell on ,him m 9 my sleep4 ,g5]ally ,i dream ( ! woods & ! fl[]s1 ! brooks & ! sea1 & ne>ly always ( pretty *ildr52 or ,i *ase birds & butt]flies su* z ,i h nev] se54 ,b1 if my dreams are sometimes poetical1 !y are nev] my/ical4 ,h[ev]1 "o night aft] ,"m ,g5evieve's dea?1 ,i _h a m consol+ "o4 ,i ?\ght ,i saw h] giv+ to ea* ( u some?+ t _h belong$ to h]self4 ,:5 my turn came1 h] h&s 7 empty1 & ,i 0 afraid ,i 0 n to receive any?+2 b %e look$ at me lov+ly1 & said ?ree times3 ,to y ,i leave my he>t4 ,ab\t a mon? aft] t s]aphic dea?1 t[>ds ! close ( ! ye> #ahia1 an epidemic ( influ5za rag$ 9 ! ,community2 ,i only _h x slightly & 0 able to be ab\t ) two o!r ,si/]s4 ,x is impossible to imag9e ! he>tr5d+ /ate ( our ,c>mel ?r\gh\t ^? days ( sorr[4 ,! wor/ suff]]s 7 nurs$ by ^? :o c\ld h>dly drag !mselves ab\t2 dea? 0 all ar\nd u1 &1 :5 a ,si/] _h brea!d h] la/1 we _h to leave h] in/antly4 ,my n9ete5? bir?day 0 sadd5$ by ! dea? ( ,"m ,sub-,prioress2 ,i assi/$ ) ! infirm>ian dur+ h] agony1 & two m dea?s quickly foll[$4 ,i n[ _h to d ! ,sacri/y "w s+le-h&$1 & ,i wond] sometimes h[ ,i 0 equal to x all4 ,"o morn+1 :5 x 0 "t to rise1 ,i _h a pres5tim5t t ,si/] ,magdal5 0 no m4 ,! dormitory 0 q 9 d>kness1 no "o 0 leav+ h] cell4 ,i decid$1 h[ev]1 to g 9 to ,si/] ,magdal51 & ,i f\nd h] dress$1 b ly+ dead on h] b$4 ,i 0 n 9 ! lea/ afraid1 & runn+ to ! ,sacri/y ,i quickly br\ght a bless$ c&le1 & plac$ on h] head a wrea? ( roses4 ,amid all ?is desolation ,i felt ! ,h& ( ,god & knew t ,8 ,he>t 0 wat*+ ov] u4 ,our de> ,si/]s left ?is life = a happi] "o )\t any /ruggle2 an expression ( heav5ly joy %one on _! faces1 & !y seem$ only to be enjoy+ a pleasant sleep4 ,dur+ all ^! long & try+ weeks ,i _h ! unspeakable consolation ( receiv+ ,holy ,communion e day4 ,h[ sweet x 06 ,= a long "t ,jesus treat$ me z a spoilt *ild1 = a long] "t ?an ,8 m fai?ful ,sp\ses4 ,he came to me daily = sev]al mon?s aft] ! influ5za _h ceas$1 a privilege n grant$ to ! ,community4 ,i _h n ask$ ?is fav\r1 b ,i 0 unspeakably happy to be unit$ day aft] day to my ,belov$4 ,great 0 my joy 9 be+ all[$ to t\* ! ,sacr$ ,vessels & prep>e ! ,alt> l95 on :i* ,our ,"l 0 to be laid4 ,i felt t ,i mu/ increase 9 f]v\r1 & ,i (t5 recall$ ^? words address$ to deacons at _! ord9ation3 ,be y holy1 y :o c>ry ! ,vessels ( ! ,"l4 ,:at c ,i tell y1 de> ,"m1 ab\t my ?anksgiv+s aft] ,communion8 ,!re is no "t :5 ,i ta/e less consolation4 ,b ?is is :at ,i %\ld expect4 ,i desire to receive ,our ,"l1 n = my own satisfaction1 b simply to give ,him pleasure4 ,i picture my s\l z a piece ( wa/e gr\nd & beg ,our ,bless$ ,lady to take away my imp]fections--:i* are z heaps ( rubbi%--& to build ^u x a spl5did tab]nacle wor?y ( ,heav51 & adorn x ) h] own adornm5ts4 ,!n ,i invite all ! ,angels & ,sa9ts to come & s+ canticles ( love1 & x seems to me t ,jesus is well pleas$ to see ,himself receiv$ s gr&ly1 & ,i %>e 9 ,8 joy4 ,b all ?is does n prev5t di/ractions & dr[s9ess f tr\bl+ me1 & n unfrequ5tly ,i resolve to cont9ue my ?anksgiv+ ?r\gh\t ! day1 s9ce ,i made x s badly 9 *oir4 ,y see1 de> ,"m1 t my way is n ! way ( fe>2 ,i c always make myself happy1 & pr(it by my imp]fections1 & ,our ,"l ,himself enc\rages me 9 ?is pa?4 ,once1 contr>y to my usual cu/om1 ,i felt tr\bl$ :5 ,i approa*$ ! ,holy ,table4 ,= sev]al days !re _h n be5 a suffici5t numb] ( ,ho/s1 & ,i _h only receiv$ a small "p ( "o2 ?is morn+ ,i fooli%ly ?\ght3 ,if ! same ?+ happ5s to-day1 ,i %all imag9e t ,jesus does n c>e to come into my he>t4 ,i approa*$ ! rails4 ,:at a joy await$ me6 ,! ,prie/ hesitat$ a mom5t1 !n gave me two entire ,ho/s4 ,0 ?is n a sweet response8 ,i h mu* to be ?ankful =4 ,i w tell y q op5ly :at ! ,"l has done = me4 ,he has %[n unto me ! same m]cy z unto ,k+ ,solomon4 ,all my desires h be5 satisfi$2 n only my desires ( p]fection1 b ev5 ^? ( :i* ,i und]/ood ! vanity1 9 !ory1 if n 9 practice4 ,i _h always look$ on ,si/] ,agnes ( ,jesus z my model1 & ,i wi%$ to be l h] 9 ev]y?+4 ,%e us$ to pa9t exquisite m9iatures & write beautiful poems1 & ?is inspir$ me ) a desire to le>n to pa9t1#d & express my ?\ghts 9 v]se1 t ,i might d "s good to ^? ar\nd me4 ,b ,i w\ld n ask = ^! natural gifts1 & my desire rema9$ hidd5 9 my he>t4 ,jesus1 too1 _h hidd5 ,himself 9 ?is poor little he>t1 & ,he 0 pleas$ to %[ me once m ! vanity ( all t passes4 ,to ! great a/oni%m5t ( ! ,community1 ,i succe$$ 9 pa9t+ sev]al pictures & 9 writ+ poems :i* h be5 a help to c]ta9 s\ls4 ,& j z ,solomon1 turn+ to all ! works :i* 8 h& _h wr\ght1 & to ! lab\rs :]e9 he _h lab\r$ 9 va91 saw 9 all ?+s vanity & vexation ( m9d1#e s exp]i5ce %[$ me t ! sole happ9ess ( e>? consi/s 9 ly+ hidd51 & rema9+ 9 total ignorance ( creat$ ?+s4 ,i und]/ood t )\t love ev5 ! mo/ brilliant de$s c\nt = no?+4 ,^! gifts1 :i* ,our ,"l lavi%$ ^u me1 f> f do+ me any h>m1 drew me t[>ds ,him2 ,i saw t ,he alone is un*angeable1 ,he alone c fill ! va/ abyss ( my desires4 ,talk+ ( my desires1 ,i mu/ tell y ab\t o!rs ( q a diff]5t k9d1 :i* ! ,div9e ,ma/] has also be5 pleas$ to grant3 *ildi% desires1 l ! wi% = sn[ on my clo?+ day4 ,y "k1 de> ,"m1 h[ fond ,i am ( fl[]s4 ,:5 ,i made myself a prison] at ! age ( fifte51 ,i gave up = ev] ! delights ( rambl+ ?r\gh mead[s bright ) ! treasures ( spr+4 ,well1 ,i nev] possess$ s _m fl[]s z ,i h _h s9ce ent]+ ! ,c>mel4 ,9 ! _w "y m5 pres5t _! betro!d ) beautiful b\quets1 & ,jesus did n =get me4 ,= ,8 ,alt> ,i receiv$1 9 abundance1 all ! fl[]s ,i lov$ be/3 cornfl[]s1 poppies1 m>gu]ites--"o little fri5d only 0 miss+1 ! purple vet*4 ,i long$ to see x aga91 & at la/ x came to gladd5 me & %[ t1 9 ! lea/ z 9 ! greate/1 ,god gives a hundr$-fold1 ev5 9 ?is life1 to ^? :o h left all = ,8 ,love4 ,b "o desire1 ! de>e/ ( all1 & = _m reasons ! mo/ difficult1 rema9$ unfulfill$4 ,x 0 to see ,cl9e ent] ! ,c>mel ( ,lisieux4 ,h[ev]1 ,i _h made a sacrifice ( my long+1 & committ$ to ,god alone ! future ( my lov$ si/]4 ,i 0 will+ %e %\ld be s5t to f> di/ant l&s if x mu/ be s2 b ,i want$ above all ?+s to see h] l myself1 ! ,sp\se ( ,jesus4 ,i suff]$ deeply1 aw>e t %e 0 expos$ 9 ! _w to dang]s ,i _h nev] ev5 kn[n4 ,my affection = h] 0 mat]nal r ?an si/]ly1 & ,i 0 fill$ ) solicitude = ! welf>e ( h] s\l4 ,%e 0 to g "o ev5+ ) my aunt & c\s9s to a dance4 ,i "k n :y1 b ,i felt m anxi\s ?an usual1 & ,i %$ _m te>s1 implor+ ,our ,"l to h9d] h] danc+4 ,& ?is 0 j :at happ5$2 = ,he did n suff] ,8 little ,sp\se to dance t ev5+1 al?\gh z a rule %e did s mo/ gracefully4 ,&1 to ! a/oni%m5t ( ev]yone1 h] p>tn]1 too1 f\nd t he 0 only able to walk gravely up & d[n ) ,mademoiselle4 ,! poor "y man slipp$ away 9 confusion1 & did n d>e appe> aga9 t ev5+4 ,?is unique occurr5ce increas$ my confid5ce 9 ,our ,"l1 & %[$ me cle>ly t ,he _h already set ,8 seal on my si/]'s br[4 ,on ,july #bi1 #ahid1 ,god call$ my sa9tly & mu*-tri$ ,fa!r to ,himself4 ,= ! la/ two ye>s ( 8 life he 0 completely p>alys$2 s my uncle took him into 8 h\se & surr\nd$ him ) ! t5d]e/ c>e4 ,he became q helpless & 0 only able to visit u once dur+ ! :ole c\rse ( 8 illness4 ,x 0 a sad int]view4 ,at ! mom5t ( p>t+1 z we said good-bye1 he rais$ 8 eyes1 & po9t+ upw>ds said 9 a voice full ( te>s3 ,9 ,heav56 ,n[ t he 0 ) ,god1 ! la/ ties :i* kept 8 consol+ ,angel 9 ! _w 7 brok54 ,angels d n rema9 on ?is e>?2 :5 !y h accompli%$ _! mission1 !y return in/antly to ,heav54 ,t is :y !y h w+s4 ,cl9e tri$ !re=e to fly to ! ,c>mel2 b ! ob/acles seem$ insurm\ntable4 ,"o day1 :5 matt]s 7 go+ f bad to worse1 ,i said to ,our ,"l aft] ,holy ,communion3 ,?\ kn[e/1 de> ,jesus1 h[ e>ne/ly ,i h desir$ t ! trials my ,fa!r endur$ %\ld s]ve z 8 purgatory4 ,i long to "k if my wi% is grant$4 ,i d n ask ,!e to speak to me1 ,i only want a sign4 ,?\ kn[e/ h[ mu* oppos$ is ,si/] ,n4 to ,cl9e's ent]+2 if %e )draw h] opposition1 ,i %all reg>d x z an answ] f ,!e1 & 9 ?is way ,i %all "k t my ,fa!r w5t /raight to ,heav54 ,god1 ,:o holds 9 ,8 ,h& ! he>ts ( ,8 creatures1 & incl9es !m z ,he w1 deign$ 9 ,8 inf9ite m]cy & ineffable condesc5sion to *ange t ,si/]'s m9d4 ,%e 0 ! fir/ p]son ,i met aft] my ?anksgiv+1 &1 ) te>s 9 h] eyes1 %e spoke ( ,cl9e's entrance1 :i* %e n[ ard5tly desir$4 ,%ortly aft]w>ds ! ,bi%op set e ob/acle aside1 & !n y 7 able1 de> ,"m1 )\t any hesitation1 to op5 our doors to ! poor little exile4#f ,n[ ,i h no desire left1 unless x be to love ,jesus ev5 unto folly6 ,x is ,love alone t draws me4 ,i no long] wi% ei!r = suff]+ or dea?1 yet bo? are preci\s to me4 ,long did ,i call ^u !m z ! mess5g]s ( joy4 ,i h suff]$ mu*1 & ,i h ?\ght my b>que ne> inde$ to ! ,ev]la/+ ,%ore4 ,f e>lie/ *ildhood ,i h imag9$ t ! ,little ,fl[] w\ld be ga!r$ 9 its spr+time2 n[1 ! _s ( self-ab&onm5t alone is my guide4 ,i h no o!r compass1 & "k n h[ to ask any?+ ) eag]ness1 save ! p]fect accompli%m5t ( ,god's designs ^u my s\l4 ,i c say ^! words ( ! ,canticle ( our ,fa!r1 ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross3 ,i drank deep 9 ! cell> ( my ,fri5d1 ,&1 com+ =? aga91 ,knew naught ( all ?is pla91 ,& lo/ ! flock ,i er/ 0 wont to t5d4 ,my s\l & all its weal? ,i gave to be ,8 ,own2 ,no m ,i t5d my flock1 all o!r "w is done1 ,& all my ex]cise is ,love alone4#g ,or r3 ,love ha? s wr\ght 9 me ,s9ce ,i h kn[n its sway1 ,t all )9 me1 :e!r good or ill1 ,x makes subs]vi5t to ! end x seeks1 ,& soon trans=ms my s\l into itself4#h ,full sweet is ! way ( ,love4 ,x is true "o may fall & be unfai?ful to grace2 b ,love1 kn[+ h[ to pr(it by ev]y?+1 quickly consumes :atev] is displeas+ to ,jesus1 leav+ 9 ! he>t only a deep & humble peace4 ,i h obta9$ _m spiritual lights ?r\gh ! works ( ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross4 ,:5 ,i 0 sev5te5 & eighte5 !y 7 my only food2 b1 lat] on1 & ev5 n[1 all spiritual au?ors leave me cold & dry4 ,h[ev] beautiful & t\*+ a book may be1 my he>t does n respond1 & ,i read )\t und]/&+1 or1 if ,i und]/&1 ,i _c m$itate4 ,9 my helplessness ! ,holy ,scriptures & ! ,imitation are ( ! greate/ assi/ance2 9 !m ,i f9d a hidd5 manna1 g5u9e & pure4 ,b x is f ! ,gospels t ,i f9d mo/ help 9 ! "t ( pray]2 f !m ,i draw all t ,i ne$ = my poor s\l4 ,i am always discov]+ 9 !m new lights & hidd5 my/]i\s mean+s4 ,i "k & ,i h exp]i5c$ t ! ,k+dom ( ,god is )9 u4#i ,our ,"l has no ne$ ( books or tea*]s to in/ruct our s\ls4 ,he1 ! ,tea*] ( ,tea*]s1 in/ructs u )\t any noise ( words4 ,i h nev] he>d ,him speak1 yet ,i "k ,he is )9 me4 ,he is !re1 always guid+ & inspir+ me2 & j :5 ,i ne$ !m1 lights1 hi!rto unse51 break 94 ,?is is n z a rule dur+ my pray]s1 b 9 ! mid/ ( my daily duties4 ,sometimes1 h[ev]1 z ?is ev5+1 at ! close ( a m$itation sp5t 9 utt] dryness1 a ^w ( com=t is giv5 to me3 ,"h is ! ,ma/] ,i give !e1 ,he w tea* !e all t ?\ %\ld/ d4 ,i wi% !e to read 9 ! ,book ( ,life 9 :i* is conta9$ ! sci5ce ( love4 4 4 4#aj ,! ,sci5ce ( ,love6 ,h[ sweetly d ^! words e*o 9 my s\l6 ,t sci5ce alone d ,i desire4 ,hav+ giv5 all my sub/ance = x1 l ! ,sp\se 9 ! ,canticles1 ,i ?9k t ,i h giv5 no?+4#aa ,aft] s _m graces1 may ,i n s+ ) ! ,psalmi/ t ! ,"l is good1 t ,8 ,m]cy endure? = ev]8#ab ,x seems to me t if ev]yone 7 to receive su* fav\rs ,god w\ld be fe>$ by none1 b lov$ to excess2 t no "o w\ld ev] commit ! lea/ wilful fault--& ?is ?r\gh love1 n fe>4 ,yet all s\ls _c be alike4 ,x is necess>y t !y %\ld diff] f "o ano!r 9 ord] t ea* ,div9e ,p]fection may receive its special hon\r4 ,to me1 ,he has giv5 ,8 ,inf9ite ,m]cy1 & x is 9 ?is ineffable mirror t ,i contemplate 8 o!r attributes4 ,!re9 all appe> to me radiant ) ,love4 ,8 ,ju/ice1 ev5 m p]haps ?an ! re/1 seems to me to be clo!d ) ,love4 ,:at joy to ?9k t ,our ,"l is j1 t is to say1 t ,he takes our weakness into acc\nt1 t ,he kn[s p]fectly ! frailty ( our nature6 ,( :at1 !n1 ne$ ,i be afraid8 ,w n ! ,god ( ,inf9ite ,ju/ice1 ,:o deigns s lov+ly to p>don ! s9s ( ! ,prodigal ,son1 be also j to me :o am always ) ,him8#ac ,9 ! ye> #ahie ,i receiv$ ! grace to und]/&1 m ?an ev]1 h[ mu* ,jesus desires to be lov$4 ,?9k+ "o day ( ^? :o (f] !mselves z victims to ! ,ju/ice ( ,god1 9 ord] to turn aside ! puni%m5t res]v$ = s9n]s by tak+ x ^u !mselves1 ,i felt ?is (f]+ to be noble & g5]\s1 b 0 v f> f feel+ myself drawn to make x4 ,o my ,div9e ,ma/]1 ,i cri$ f ! bottom ( my he>t1 %all ,?y ,ju/ice alone receive victims ( holocau/8 ,has n ,?y ,m]ciful ,love also ne$ !re(8 ,on all sides x is ignor$1 reject$ 4 4 4 ! he>ts on :i* ,?\ w\ld/ lavi% x turn to creatures1 !re to seek _! happ9ess 9 ! mis]able satisfaction ( a mom5t1 in/ead ( ca/+ !mselves into ,?9e ,arms1 into ! unfa?omable furnace ( ,?9e ,inf9ite ,love4 ,o my ,god6 mu/ ,?y ,love :i* is disda9$ lie hidd5 9 ,?y ,he>t8 ,me?9ks1 if ,?\ %\ld/ f9d s\ls (f]+ !mselves z victims ( holocau/ to ,?y ,love1 ,?\ w\ld/ consume !m rapidly2 ,?\ w\ld/ be well pleas$ to suff] ! flames ( inf9ite t5d]ness to escape t are imprison$ 9 ,?y ,he>t4 ,if ,?y ,ju/ice--:i* is ( e>?--mu/ ne$s be satisfi$1 h[ mu* m mu/ ,?y ,m]ciful ,love desire to inflame s\ls1 s9ce ,?y m]cy rea*e? ev5 to ! ,heav5s8#ad ,o ,jesus6 ,let me be t happy victim--consume ,?y holocau/ ) ! ,fire ( ,div9e ,love6 ,de> ,"m1 y "k ! love1 or r ! oceans ( grace :i* flood$ my s\l imm$iately aft] ,i made t ,act ( ,oblation on ,june #i1 #ahie4 ,f t day ,i h be5 p5etrat$ & surr\nd$ ) love4 ,e mom5t ?is ,m]ciful ,love r5ews me & purifies me1 leav+ 9 my s\l no trace ( s94 ,i _c fe> ,purgatory2 ,i "k ,i d n m]it to ent]1 ev51 into t place ( expiation ) ! ,holy ,s\ls1 b ,i also "k t ! fire ( ,love is m sanctify+ ?an ! fire ( ,purgatory4 ,i "k t ,jesus c\ld n wi% useless suff]+ = u1 & ,he w\ld n inspire me ) ! desires ,i feel1 7 ,he n will+ to fulfill !m4 #a ,psalm #ajbajc3ad4 #b ,phil4 #d3g4 #c ,?is lett]1 ! /yle ( :i* may seem /range to ,engli% e>s1 is modell$ closely on ! =mal & qua9t lett]s :]eby ,fr5* p>5ts ( ! bett] class ann\nce to _! fri5ds ! m>riage ( _! *ildr54 ,su* lett]s ( faire-"p are issu$ 9 ! "n ( relatives to ! ?ird or f\r? degree4 ,ed4 #d ,?rse _h kept ?is wi% hidd5 9 h] he>t f ! days ( h] *ildhood1 & lat] 9 life %e made ! foll[+ confid5ce3 ,i 0 t5 ! day ,papa told ,cl9e t %e 0 to beg9 pa9t+ lessons4 ,i felt q envi\s4 ,!n he turn$ to me & said3 ',well1 little ,que51 w\ld y l to le>n pa9t+ too8' ,i 0 go+ to say3 ',yes1 inde$ ,i %\ld1' :5 ,m>ie rem>k$ t ,i _h n ! same ta/e = x z ,cl9e4 ,%e c>ri$ h] po9t1 & ,i said no?+1 ?9k+ x 0 a spl5did opportunity to make a big sacrifice = ,our ,"l2 ,i 0 s anxi\s to le>n1 t ev5 n[ ,i wond] h[ ,i 0 able to keep sil5ce4 #e ,eccl4 #b3aa4 #f ,cl9e ent]$ ! ,conv5t on ,septemb] #ad1 #ahid1 & took ! "n ( ,si/] ,g5evieve ( ,/4 ,t]esa4 #g ,spiritual ,canticle3 ,/anzas #ah & #bj4 #h ,hymn to ! ,deity4 #i ,luke #ag3ba4 #aj ,revelation ( ,our ,"l to ,bd4 ,m>g>et ,m>y4 #aa ,cant4 #h3g4 #ab ,psalm #ajcajd3a4 #ac ,luke #ae3ca4 #ad ,cf4 ,psalm #cecf3f4 ,,*apt] ,,ix ,,! ,,night ,,( ,,! ,,s\l ,de> ,"m1 ,i ?\ght ,i _h writt5 en\gh1 & n[ y wi% = m details ( my religi\s life4 ,i w n argue1 b ,i _c help smil+ :5 ,i h to tell y ?+s t y "k q z well z ,i d4 ,nev]!less1 ,i w obey4 ,i d n ask :at use ?is manuscript c be to any "o1 ,i assure y t ev5 7 y to burn x be=e my eyes1 )\t hav+ read x1 ,i %\ld n m9d 9 ! lea/4 ,! op9ion is n uncommon 9 ! ,community t y h always indulg$ me1 ev] s9ce ,i ent]$ ! ,conv5t2 h[ev]1 ,man see? ^? ?+s t appe>1 b ! ,"l beholde? ! he>t4#a ,de> ,"m1 once aga9 ,i ?ank y = n hav+ sp>$ me4 ,jesus knew well t ,8 ,little ,fl[] ne$$ ! life-giv+ wat] ( humiliation--x 0 too weak to take root o!rwise1 & to y x owes s great a bless+4 ,b = "s mon?s1 ! ,div9e ,ma/] has entirely *ang$ ,8 me?od ( cultivat+ ,8 ,little ,fl[]4 ,f9d+ no d\bt t x has be5 suffici5tly wat]$1 ,he n[ all[s x to exp& "u ! w>m rays ( a brilliant sun4 ,he smiles on x1 & ?is fav\r also comes ?r\gh y1 de> ,"m1 b f> f do+ x h>m1 ^? smiles make ! ,little ,fl[] gr[ 9 a wondr\s way4 ,deep d[n 9 its he>t x treasures ^? preci\s drops ( dew--! mortifications ( o!r days--& !y rem9d x t x is small & frail4 ,ev5 7 all creatures to draw ne> to admire & flatt] x1 t w\ld n add a %ade ( idle satisfaction to ! true joy :i* ?rills x1 on realis+ t 9 ,god's ,eyes x is b a poor1 wor?less ?+1 & no?+ m4 ,:5 ,i say t ,i am indiff]5t to praise1 ,i am n speak+1 de> ,"m1 ( ! love & confid5ce y %[ me2 on ! contr>y ,i am deeply t\*$ !reby1 b ,i feel t ,i h n[ no?+ to fe>1 & ,i c li/5 to ^? praises unp]turb$1 attribut+ to ,god all t is good 9 me4 ,if x please ,him to make me appe> bett] ?an ,i am1 x is no?+ to me1 ,he c act z ,he w4 ,my ,god1 h[ _m ways do/ ,?\ lead s\ls6 ,we read ( ,sa9ts :o left absolutely no?+ at _! dea?1 n ! lea/ ?+ by :i* to rememb] !m1 n ev5 a s+le l9e ( writ+2 & !re are o!rs l our holy ,"m1 ,/4 ,t]esa1 :o h enri*$ ! ,*ur* ) _! sublime tea*+1 & h n hesitat$ to reveal ! secrets ( ! ,k+1#b t ,he may be bett] kn[n & bett] lov$4 ,:i* ( ^! two ways is m pleas+ to ,our ,"l8 ,x seems to me t !y are equally s4 ,all ^? belov$ by ,god h foll[$ ! inspiration ( ! ,holy ,gho/1 :o comm&$ ! prophets to write3 ,tell ! j man t all is well4#c ,yes1 all is well :5 "o seeks only ! ,ma/]'s ,w1 & s ,i1 poor ,little ,fl[]1 obey my ,jesus :5 ,i try to please y1 :o repres5t him "h on e>?4 ,y "k x has ev] be5 my desire to become a ,sa9t1 b ,i h always felt1 9 comp>+ myself ) ! ,sa9ts1 t ,i am z f> remov$ f !m z ! gra9 ( s&1 :i* ! pass]-by tramples und]foot1 is remote f ! m\nta9 ^: summit is lo/ 9 ! cl\ds4 ,in/ead ( be+ disc\rag$1 ,i conclud$ t ,god w\ld n inspire desires :i* c\ld n be realis$1 & t ,i may aspire to sanctity 9 spite ( my littl5ess4 ,= me to become great is impossible4 ,i mu/ be> ) myself & my _m imp]fections2 b ,i w seek out a means ( gett+ to ,heav5 by a little way--v %ort & v /raight1 a little way t is :olly new4 ,we live 9 an age ( inv5tions2 n[adays ! ri* ne$ n tr\ble to climb ! /airs1 !y h lifts in/ead4 ,well1 ,i mean to try & f9d a lift by :i* ,i may be rais$ unto ,god1 = ,i am too t9y to climb ! /eep /airway ( p]fection4 ,i h s\ght to f9d 9 ,holy ,scripture "s sugge/ion z to :at ?is lift might be :i* ,i s mu* desir$1 & ,i read ^! words utt]$ by ! ,et]nal ,wisdom ,itself3 ,:osoev] is a little "o1 let him come to ,me4#d ,!n ,i drew ne> to ,god1 feel+ sure t ,i _h discov]$ :at ,i s\ght2 b wi%+ to "k fur!r :at ,he w\ld d to ! little "o1 ,i cont9u$ my se>* & ?is is :at ,i f\nd3 ,y %all be c>ri$ at ! brea/s & ^u ! knees2 z "o :om ! "m c>esse?1 s w ,i com=t y4#e ,nev] h ,i be5 consol$ by words m t5d] & sweet4 ,?9e ,arms1 !n1 ,o ,jesus1 are ! lift :i* mu/ raise me up ev5 unto ,heav54 ,to get !re ,i ne$ n gr[2 on ! contr>y1 ,i mu/ rema9 little1 ,i mu/ become /ill less4 ,o my ,god1 ?\ ha/ gone beyond my expectation1 & ,i 4 4 4 ,i w s+ ,?y m]cies6 ,?\ ha/ taught me1 ,o ,"l1 f my y\? & till n[ ,i h decl>$ ,?y wond]ful works1 & ?us unto old age & grey hairs4#f ,:at w ?is old age be = me8 ,x seems to me t x c\ld z well be n[ z lat]3 two ?\s& ye>s are no m 9 ! ,eyes ( ! ,"l ?an tw5ty ye>s 4 4 4 ?an a s+le day6 ,b d n ?9k1 de> ,"m1 t y\r *ild is anxi\s to leave y1 & deems x a great] grace to die 9 ! morn+ r ?an 9 ! ev5+ ( life2 to please ,jesus is :at she really values & desires above all ?+s4 ,n[ t ,he seems to come ne> & draw h] to ,8 ,heav5ly ,home1 %e is glad2 %e has und]/ood t ,god has ne$ ( no "o to d good ^u e>?1 /ill less ( h] ?an ( o!rs4 ,meantime ,i "k y\r w1 de> ,"m4 ,y wi% me to c>ry out1 at y\r side1 a "w :i* is bo? sweet & easy1#g & ?is "w ,i %all complete 9 ,heav54 ,y h said to me1 z ,our ,"l said to ,/4 ,pet]3 ,fe$ my lambs4 ,i am amaz$1 = ,i feel t ,i am s little4 ,i h entreat$ y to fe$ y\r little lambs y\rself & to keep me among !m4 ,y h compli$ 9 "p ) my reasonable wi%1 & h call$ me _! companion1 r ?an _! mi/ress1 tell+ me nev]!less to lead !m ?r\gh f]tile & %ady pa/ures1 to po9t out :]e ! grass is sweete/ & be/1 & w>n !m aga9/ ! brilliant b poison\s fl[]s1 :i* !y mu/ nev] t\* except to cru% "u foot4 ,h[ is x1 de> ,"m1 t my y\? & inexp]i5ce h n fright5$ y8 ,are y n afraid t ,i %all let y\r lambs /ray af>8 ,9 act+ z y h done1 p]haps y rememb]$ t ,our ,"l is (t5 pleas$ to give wisdom to little ones4 ,on ?is e>? x is r>e inde$ to f9d s\ls :o d n measure ,god's ,omnipot5ce by _! own n>r[ ?\ghts4 ,! _w is always ready to admit exceptions ev]y:]e "h bel[4 ,god alone is d5i$ ?is lib]ty4 ,x has long be5 ! cu/om among m5 to reckon exp]i5ce by age1 = 9 8 y\? ! holy ,k+ ,david sang to ,8 ,"l3 ,i am "y & despis$1#h b 9 ! same ,psalm he does n fe> to say3 ,i h _h und]/&+ above old m51 because ,i h s\ght ,?y comm&m5ts1 ,?y ^w is a lamp to my feet1 & a light to my pa?s2 ,i h sworn1 & ,i am det]m9$1 to keep ! judgm5ts ( ,?y ,ju/ice4#i ,& y did n ev5 consid] x imprud5t to assure me "o day1 t ! ,div9e ,ma/] _h enlight5$ my s\l & giv5 me ! exp]i5ce ( ye>s4 ,i am too little n[ to be guilty ( vanity2 ,i am likewise too little to endeav\r to prove my humility by f9e-s\nd+ words4 ,i pref] to own 9 all simplicity t ,he t is mighty ha? done great ?+s to me--#aj & ! greate/ is t ,he has %[n me my littl5ess & h[ incapable ,i am ( any?+ good4 ,my s\l has kn[n trials ( _m k9ds4 ,i h suff]$ mu* on ?is e>?4 ,9 my *ildhood ,i suff]$ ) sadness1 b n[ ,i f9d sweetness 9 all ?+s4 ,anyone b y1 de> ,"m1 :o "k me ?or\ghly1 w\ld smile at read+ ^! pages1 = has ev] a s\l seem$ less tri$ ?an m9e8 ,b if ! m>tyrdom :i* ,i h endur$ = ! pa/ ye> 7 made kn[n1 h[ a/oni%$ ev]yone w\ld be6 ,s9ce x is y\r wi% ,i w try to describe x1 b !re are no words really to expla9 ^! ?+s4 ,! words w always fall %ort ( ! reality4 ,dur+ ,l5t la/ ye> ,i felt mu* bett] ?an ev] & cont9u$ s until ,holy ,week1 9 spite ( ! fa/ :i* ,i obs]v$ 9 all its rig\r4 ,b 9 ! e>ly h\rs ( ,good ,friday1 ,jesus gave me to hope t ,i %\ld soon jo9 ,him 9 ,8 beautiful ,home4 ,h[ sweet is ?is memory6 ,i c\ld n obta9 p]mission to rema9 wat*+ at ! ,alt> ( ,repose ?r\gh\t ! ,?ursday night1 & ,i return$ to our cell at midnight4 ,sc>cely 0 my head laid on ! pill[ :5 ,i felt a hot /ream rise to my lips4 ,i ?\ght ,i 0 go+ to die1 & my he>t ne>ly broke ) joy4 ,b z ,i _h already put out our lamp1 ,i mortifi$ my curiosity until ! morn+ & slept 9 peace4 ,at five o'clock1 :5 x 0 "t to get up1 ,i rememb]$ at once t ,i _h "s good news to le>n1 & go+ to ! w9d[ ,i f\nd1 z ,i _h expect$1 t our h&k]*ief 0 soak$ ) blood4 ,de>e/ ,"m1 :at hope 0 m9e6 ,i 0 firmly conv9c$ t on ?is anniv]s>y ( ,8 ,dea?1 my ,belov$ _h all[$ me to he> ,8 fir/ call1 l a sweet1 di/ant murmur1 h]ald+ ,8 joyful approa*4 ,i assi/$ at ,prime & ,*apt] mo/ f]v5tly1 & !n ,i ha/5$ to ca/ myself at my ,"m's knees & confide to h] my happ9ess4 ,i did n feel ! lea/ pa91 s ,i easily obta9$ p]mission to f9i% ,l5t z ,i _h begun1 & on ?is ,good ,friday ,i %>$ 9 all ! au/]ities ( ! ,c>mel )\t any relaxation4 ,nev] _h ^! au/]ities seem$ sweet] to me2 ! hope ( soon ent]+ ,heav5 transport$ me ) joy4 ,/ill full ( joy1 ,i return$ to our cell on ! ev5+ ( t happy day1 & 0 quietly fall+ asleep1 :5 my sweet ,jesus gave me ! same sign z on ! previ\s night1 ( my spe$y entrance to ,et]nal ,life4 ,i felt su* a cle> & lively ,fai? t ! ?\ght ( ,heav5 0 my sole delight4 ,i c\ld n believe x possible = m5 to be utt]ly devoid ( ,fai?1 & ,i 0 conv9c$ t ^? :o d5y ! exi/5ce ( ano!r _w really lie 9 _! he>ts4 ,b dur+ ! ,pas*al days1 s full ( light1 our ,"l made me und]/& t !re really are 9 tru? s\ls b]eft ( ,fai? & ,hope1 :o1 ?r\gh abuse ( grace1 lose ^! preci\s treasures1 ! only s\rce ( pure & la/+ joy4 ,he all[$ my s\l to be ov]:elm$ ) d>kness1 & ! ?\ght ( ,heav51 :i* _h consol$ me f my e>lie/ *ildhood1 n[ became a subject ( conflict & torture4 ,?is trial did n la/ m]ely = days or weeks2 ,i h be5 suff]+ = mon?s1 & ,i /ill await deliv]ance4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld express :at ,i feel1 b x is beyond me4 ,"o mu/ h pass$ ?r\gh ?is d>k tunnel to und]/& its blackness4 ,h[ev]1 ,i w try to expla9 x by means ( a comp>ison4 ,let me suppose t ,i _h be5 born 9 a l& ( ?ick fogs1 & _h nev] se5 ! beauties ( nature1 or a s+le ray ( sun%9e1 al?\gh ,i _h he>d ( ^! wond]s f my e>ly y\?1 & knew t ! c\ntry :]e9 ,i dwelt 0 n my real home--!re 0 ano!r l&1 unto :i* ,i %\ld always look =w>d4 ,n[ ?is is n a fable1 inv5t$ by an inhabitant ( ! l& ( fogs1 x is ! solemn tru?1 = ! ,k+ ( t sunlit c\ntry dwelt = ?ree & ?irty ye>s 9 ! l& ( d>kness1 & alas6--! d>kness did n und]/& t ,he 0 ! ,light ( ! ,_w4#aa ,b1 de> ,"l1 ,?y *ild has und]/ood ,?\ art ! ,light ,div9e2 %e asks ,?y p>don = h] unbeliev+ bre?r51 & is will+ to eat ! bread ( sorr[ z long z ,?\ maye/ wi%4 ,= love ( ,!e %e w sit at t table ( bitt]ness :]e ^! poor s9n]s take _! food1 & %e w n /ir f x until ,?\ give/ ! sign4 ,b may %e n say 9 h] own "n1 & ! "n ( h] guilty bre?r53 ,o ,god1 be m]ciful to u s9n]s6#ab ,s5d u away ju/ifi$4 ,may all ^? on :om ,fai? does n %9e see ! light at la/6 ,o my ,god1 if t table :i* !y pr(ane c be purifi$ by "o t loves ,!e1 ,i am will+ to rema9 !re alone to eat ! bread ( te>s1 until x %all please ,!e to br+ me to ,?y ,k+dom ( ,light3 ! only fav\r ,i ask is1 t ,i may nev] give ,!e cause = (f5ce4 ,f ! "t ( my *ildhood ,i felt t "o day ,i %\ld be set free f ?is l& ( d>kness4 ,i believ$ x1 n only because ,i _h be5 told s by o!rs1 b my he>t's mo/ secret & deepe/ long+s assur$ me t !re 0 9 /ore = me ano!r & m beautiful c\ntry--an abid+ dwell+-place4 ,i 0 l ,*ri/oph] ,columbus1 ^: g5ius anticipat$ ! discov]y ( ! ,new ,_w4 ,& sudd5ly ! mi/s ab\t me h p5etrat$ my v s\l & h envelop$ me s completely t ,i _c ev5 picture to myself ?is promis$ c\ntry 4 4 4 all has fad$ away4 ,:5 my he>t1 we>y ( ! surr\nd+ d>kness1 tries to f9d "s re/ 9 ! ?\ght ( a life to come1 my angui% increases4 ,x seems to me t out ( ! d>kness ,i he> ! mock+ voice ( ! unbeliev]3 ,y dream ( a l& ( light & fragrance1 y dream t ! ,creator ( ^! wond]s w be y\rs = ev]1 y ?9k "o day to escape f ^! mi/s :]e y n[ langui%4 ,nay1 rejoice 9 dea?1 :i* w give y1 n :at y hope =1 b a night d>k] /ill1 ! night ( utt] no?+ness6 4 4 4 ,de> ,"m1 ?is description ( :at ,i suff] is z f> remov$ f reality z ! fir/ r\gh outl9e is f ! model1 b ,i fe> t to write m 7 to blaspheme 4 4 4 ev5 n[ ,i may h said too mu*4 ,may ,god =give me6 ,he kn[s t ,i try to live by ,fai?1 ?\gh x does n af=d me ! lea/ consolation4 ,i h made m acts ( ,fai? 9 ?is la/ ye> ?an dur+ all ! re/ ( my life4 ,ea* "t t my enemy w\ld provoke me to combat1 ,i behave z a gallant soldi]4 ,i "k t a duel is an act ( c[>dice1 & s1 )\t once look+ him 9 ! face1 ,i turn my back on ! foe1 !n ,i ha/5 to my ,savi\r1 & v[ t ,i am ready to %$ my blood 9 witness ( my belief 9 ,heav54 ,i tell him1 if only ,he w deign to op5 x to poor unbeliev]s1 ,i am cont5t to sacrifice all pleasure 9 ! ?\ght ( x z long z ,i live4 ,& 9 spite ( ?is trial1 :i* robs me ( all com=t1 ,i /ill c say3 ,?\ ha/ giv5 me1 ,o ,"l1 delight 9 all ,?\ do/4#ac ,= :at joy c be great] ?an to suff] = ,?y ,love8 ,! m ! suff]+ is & ! less x appe>s be=e m51 ! m is x to ,?y ,hon\r & ,glory4 ,ev5 if--b ,i "k x to be impossible--,?\ %\ld/ n deign to he$ my suff]+s1 ,i %\ld /ill be happy to be> !m1 9 ! hope t by my te>s ,i might p]haps prev5t or atone = "o s9 aga9/ ,fai?4 ,no d\bt1 de> ,"m1 y w ?9k ,i exagg]ate some:at ! night ( my s\l4 ,if y judge by ! poems ,i h compos$ ?is ye>1 x mu/ seem z ?\gh ,i h be5 flood$ ) consolations1 l a *ild = :om ! veil ( ,fai? is almo/ r5t asund]4 ,& yet x is n a veil--x is a wall :i* rises to ! v heav5s & %uts out ! />ry sky4 ,:5 ,i s+ ( ! happ9ess ( ,heav5 & ! et]nal possession ( ,god1 ,i d n feel any joy !re91 = ,i s+ only ( :at ,i wi% to believe4 ,sometimes1 ,i confess1 a little ray ( sun%9e illum9es my d>k night1 & ,i enjoy peace = an in/ant1 b lat]1 ! remembrance ( ?is ray ( light1 in/ead ( consol+ me1 makes ! blackness ?ick] /ill4 ,& yet nev] h ,i felt s deeply h[ sweet & m]ciful is ! ,"l4 ,he did n s5d me ?is heavy cross :5 x might h disc\rag$ me1 b at a "t :5 ,i 0 able to be> x4 ,n[ x simply takes f me all natural satisfaction ,i might feel 9 my long+ = ,heav54 ,de> ,"m1 x seems to me t at pres5t !re is no?+ to imp$e my upw>d flight1 = ,i h no long] any desire save to love ,him till ,i die4 ,i am free2 ,i fe> no?+ n[1 n ev5 :at ,i dread$ m ?an any?+ else1 a long illness :i* w\ld make me a burd5 to ! ,community4 ,%\ld x please ! ,good ,god1 ,i am q cont5t to h my bodily & m5tal suff]+s prolong$ = ye>s4 ,i d n fe> a long life2 ,i d n %r9k f ! /ruggle4 ,! ,"l is ! rock ^u :i* ,i /&--,:o tea*e? my h&s to fight1 & my f+]s to w>4 ,he is my ,protector & ,i h hop$ 9 ,him4#ad ,i h nev] ask$ ,god to let me die "y1 ,x is true ,i h always ?\ght ,i %\ld d s1 b x is a fav\r ,i h n tri$ to obta94 ,our ,"l is (t5 cont5t ) ! wi% to d some?+ = ,8 ,glory1 & y "k ! imm5sity ( my desires4 ,y "k also t ,jesus has (f]$ me m ?an "o bitt] *alice ?r\gh my de>ly lov$ si/]s4 ,! holy ,k+ ,david 0 "r :5 he sang3 ,behold h[ good & h[ pleasant x is = bre?r5 to dwell toge!r 9 unity4#ae ,b su* unity c only exi/ ^u e>? 9 ! mid/ ( sacrifice4 ,x 0 n 9 ord] to be ) my si/]s t ,i came to ?is holy ,c>mel2 on ! contr>y1 ,i knew well t 9 curb+ my natural affection ,i %\ld h mu* to suff]4 ,h[ c x be said t x is m p]fect to sep>ate oneself f home & fri5ds8 ,has anyone ev] reproa*$ bro!rs :o fight side by side1 or toge!r w9 ! m>tyr's palm8 ,x is true1 no d\bt1 !y enc\rage ea* o!r2 b x is also true t ! m>tyrdom ( ea* is a m>tyrdom to !m all4 ,& s x is 9 ! religi\s life2 !ologians call x a m>tyrdom4 ,a he>t giv5 to ,god loses no?+ ( its natural affection--on ! contr>y1 ?is affection gr[s /rong] by becom+ pur] & m spiritual4 ,x is ) ?is love1 de> ,"m1 t ,i love y & my si/]s4 ,i am glad to fight beside y = ! glory ( ! ,k+ ( ,heav51 b ,i am ready to g to ano!r battlefield1 did ! ,div9e ,comm&] b express a wi%4 ,an ord] w\ld n be necess>y3 a simple look1 a sign1 w\ld suffice4 ,ev] s9ce ,i came to ! ,c>mel ,i h ?\ght t if ,our ,"l did n take me quickly to ,heav51 my lot w\ld be t ( ,noe's dove1 & t "o day he w\ld op5 ! w9d[ ( ! ,ark & bid me fly to hea!n l&s1 be>+ ! olive bran*4 ,?is ?\ght has help$ me to so> above all creat$ ?+s4 ,kn[+ t ev5 9 ! ,c>mel !re mu/ be p>t+s1 ,i tri$ to make my abode 9 ,heav52 & ,i accept$ n only exile 9 ! mid/ ( an unkn[n p1 b :at 0 f> m bitt]1 ,i accept$ exile = my si/]s4 ,& inde$1 two ( !m 7 ask$ = by ! ,c>mel ( ,sagon1 our own f\ndation4 ,= a "t !re 0 s]i\s "q ( _! be+ s5t1 & ,i w\ld n say a ^w to hold !m back1 ?\gh my he>t a*$ at ! ?\ght ( ! trials await+ !m4 ,n[ all t is at an end2 ! sup]iors 7 absolutely oppos$ to _! dep>ture1 & ,i only t\*$ ! cup ) my lips long en\gh to ta/e ( its bitt]ness4 ,let me tell y1 de> ,"m1 :y1 if ,our ,lady cures me1 ,i wi% to respond to ! call f our ,mo!rs ( ,hano4 ,x appe>s t to live 9 =eign ,c>mels1 a v special vocation is ne$$1 & _m s\ls ?9k !y are call$ )\t be+ s 9 reality4 ,y h told me t ,i h ?is vocation1 & t my heal? alone /&s 9 ! way4 ,b if ,i am de/9$ "o day to leave ?is ,c>mel1 x w n be )\t a pang4 ,my he>t is naturally s5sitive1 & because ?is is a cause ( mu* suff]+1 ,i wi% to (f] ,jesus :atsoev] x c be>4 ,"h1 ,i am lov$ by y & all ! ,si/]s1 & ?is love is v sweet to me1 & ,i dream ( a conv5t :]e ,i %\ld be unkn[n1 :]e ,i %\ld ta/e ! bitt]ness ( exile4 ,i "k only too well h[ useless ,i am1 & s x is n = ! sake ( ! s]vices ,i might r5d] to ! ,c>mel ( ,hano t ,i w\ld leave all t is de>e/ to me--my sole reason w\ld be to d ,god's ,w1 & sacrifice myself = ,him4 ,& ,i %\ld n suff] any disappo9tm5t1 = :5 we expect no?+ b suff]+1 !n ! lea/ joy is a surprise2 & lat] on suff]+ itself becomes ! greate/ ( all joys1 :5 we seek x z a preci\s treasure4 ,b ,i "k ,i %all nev] recov] f ?is sickness1 & yet ,i am at peace4 ,= ye>s ,i h n belong$ to myself1 ,i h surr5d]$ myself :olly to ,jesus1 & ,he is free to d ) me :atsoev] ,he pleases4 ,he has spok5 to me ( exile1 & has ask$ me if ,i w\ld cons5t to dr9k ( t *alice4 ,at once ,i essay$ to grasp x1 b ,he1 )draw+ ,8 ,h&1 %[$ me t my cons5t 0 all ,he desir$4 ,o my ,god6 f h[ mu* disquiet d we free ourselves by ! v[ ( ob$i5ce6 ,happy is ! simple religi\s4 ,h] "o guide be+ ! w ( h] sup]iors1 %e is ev] sure ( foll[+ ! "r pa?1 & has no fe> ( be+ mi/ak51 ev5 :5 x seems t h] sup]iors are mak+ a mi/ake4 ,b if %e ceases to consult ! un]r+ compass1 !n at once h] s\l goes a/ray 9 b>r5 wa/es1 :]e ! wat]s ( grace quickly fail4 ,de> ,"m1 y are ! compass ,jesus has giv5 me to direct me safely to ! ,et]nal ,%ore4 ,i f9d x mo/ sweet to fix my eyes ^u y1 & !n d ! ,w ( my ,"l4 ,by all[+ me to suff] ^! temptations aga9/ ,fai?1 ,he has greatly increas$ ! _s ( ,fai?1 :i* makes me see ,him liv+ 9 y\r s\l1 & ?r\gh y communicat+ ,8 holy comm&s4 ,i am well aw>e t y light5 ! burd5 ( ob$i5ce = me1 b deep 9 my he>t ,i feel t my attitude w\ld n *ange1 nor w\ld my filial affection gr[ less1 7 y to treat me ) sev]ity3 & ?is because ,i %\ld /ill see ! ,w ( ,god manife/+ itself 9 ano!r way = ! great] good ( my s\l4 ,among ! numb]less graces t ,i h receiv$ ?is ye>1 n ! lea/ is an und]/&+ ( h[ f>-rea*+ is ! precept ( *>ity4 ,i _h nev] be=e fa?om$ ^! words ( ,our ,"l3 ,! second comm&m5t is l to ! fir/3 ,?\ %alt love ?y neighb\r z ?yself4#af ,i _h set myself above all to love ,god1 & x 0 9 lov+ ,him t ,i discov]$ ! hidd5 mean+ ( ^! o!r words3 ,x is n ^? :o say1 ,"l1 ,"l6 :o ent] into ! ,k+dom ( ,heav51 b he :o does ! ,w ( ,my ,fa!r4#ag ,jesus reveal$ me ?is ,w :5 at ! ,la/ ,supp] ,he gave ,8 ,new ,comm&m5t 9 tell+ ,8 ,apo/les to love "o ano!r z ,he _h lov$ !m4#ah ,i set myself to f9d out h[ ,he _h lov$ ,8 ,apo/les2 & ,i saw t x 0 n = _! natural qualities1 = !y 7 ignorant m51 full ( e>?ly ideas4 ,& yet ,he calls !m ,8 ,fri5ds1 ,8 ,bre?r52 ,he desires to see !m ne> ,him 9 ! ,k+dom ( ,8 ,fa!r1 & 9 ord] to admit !m to ?is ,k+dom ,he wills to die on ! ,cross1 say+3 ,great] love ?an ?is no man ha?1 t a man lay d[n 8 life = 8 fri5ds4#ai ,z ,i m$itat$ on ^! ,div9e words1 ,i saw h[ imp]fect 0 ! love ,i bore my ,si/]s 9 religion4 ,i und]/ood t ,i did n love !m z ,our ,"l loves !m4 ,i "k n[ t true *>ity consi/s 9 be>+ all our neighb\rs' defects--n be+ surpris$ at _! weakness1 b edifi$ at _! smalle/ virtues4 ,above all ,i "k t *>ity mu/ n rema9 %ut up 9 ! he>t1 = ,no man lighte? a c&le1 & putte? x 9 a hidd5 place1 nor "u a bu%el2 b ^u a c&le/ick1 t !y :o come 9 may see ! light4#bj ,x seems to me1 de> ,"m1 ?is c&le repres5ts t *>ity :i* enlight5s & gladd5s1 n only ^? :o are de> to u1 b all ^? :o are ( ! h\sehold4 ,9 ! ,old ,law1 :5 ,god told ,8 p to love _! neighb\r z !mselves1 ,he _h n yet come d[n ^u e>?2 & kn[+ full well h[ man loves himself1 ,he c\ld n ask any?+ great]4 ,b :5 ,our ,"l gave ,8 ,apo/les a ,new ,comm&m5t--,8 own comm&m5t#ba--;,he 0 n cont5t ) say+3 ,?\ %alt love ?y neighb\r z ?yself1 b w\ld h !m love ev5 z ,he _h lov$1 & z ,he w love till ! end ( "t4 ,o my ,jesus6 ,?\ does nev] ask :at is impossible2 ,?\ kn[e/ bett] ?an ,i1 h[ frail & imp]fect ,i am1 & ,?\ kn[e/ t ,i %all nev] love my ,si/]s z ,?\ ha/ lov$ !m1 unless )9 me ,?\ love/ !m1 de> ,"l6 ,x is because ,?\ do/ desire to grant me ?is grace t ,?\ ha/ giv5 a ,new ,comm&m5t4 ,oh h[ ,i love x1 s9ce ,i am assur$ !reby t x is ,?y ,w to love 9 me all ^? ,?\ do/ bid me love6 ,yes1 ,i "k :5 ,i %[ *>ity to o!rs1 x is simply ,jesus act+ 9 me1 & ! m closely ,i am unit$ to ,him1 ! m de>ly ,i love my ,si/]s4 ,if ,i wi% to increase ?is love 9 my he>t1 & ! devil tries to br+ be=e me ! defects ( a ,si/]1 ,i ha/5 to look = h] virtues1 h] good motives2 ,i call to m9d t ?\gh ,i may h se5 h] fall once1 no d\bt %e has ga9$ _m victories ov] h]self1 :i* 9 h] humility %e conceals4 ,x is ev5 possible t :at seems to me a fault1 may v likely1 on acc\nt ( h] good int5tion1 be an act ( virtue4 ,i h no difficulty 9 p]suad+ myself ( ?is1 because ,i h _h ! same exp]i5ce4 ,"o day1 dur+ recreation1 ! portress came to ask = a ,si/] to help h]4 ,i _h a *ildi% long+ to d ?is "w1 & x happ5$ ! *oice fell ^u me4 ,i !re=e began to fold up our ne$lework1 b s sl[ly t my neighb\r1 :o ,i knew w\ld l to take my place1 0 ready be=e me4 ,! ,si/] :o _h ask$ = help1 see+ h[ delib]ate ,i 01 said laugh+ly3 ,i ?\ght y w\ld n add ?is pe>l to y\r cr[n1 y are s extremely sl[1 & all ! ,community ?\ght ,i _h yield$ to natural reluctance4 ,i _c tell y :at pr(it ,i d]iv$ f ?is incid5t1 & x made me indulg5t t[>ds o!rs4 ,x /ill *ecks any feel+s ( vanity1 :5 ,i am prais$1 = ,i reflect t s9ce my small acts ( virtue c be mi/ak5 = imp]fections1 :y %\ld n my imp]fections be mi/ak5 = virtue8 ,& ,i say ) ,/4 ,paul3 ,to me x is a v small ?+ to be judg$ by y1 or by man's day4 ,b nei!r d ,i judge myself4 ,he t judge? me is ! ,"l4#bb ,& x is ! ,"l1 x is ,jesus1 ,:o is my judge4 ,!re=e ,i w try always to ?9k l5i5tly ( o!rs1 t ,he may judge me l5i5tly1 or r n at all1 s9ce ,he says3 ,judge n1 & ye %all n be judg$4#bc ,b return+ to ! ,holy ,gospel :]e ,our ,"l expla9s to me cle>ly 9 :at ,8 ,new ,comm&m5t consi/s1 ,i read 9 ,/4 ,mat!w3 ,y h he>d t x ha? be5 said1 ,?\ %alt love ?y neighb\r1 & hate ?y enemy3 b ,i say unto y1 ,love y\r enemies1 & pray = !m t p]secute y4#bd ,!re are1 ( c\rse1 no enemies 9 ! ,c>mel2 b1 aft] all1 we h our natural likes & dislikes4 ,we may feel drawn t[>ds "o ,si/]1 & may be tempt$ to g a long way r\nd to avoid meet+ ano!r4 ,well1 ,our ,"l tells me t ?is is ! ,si/] to love & pray =1 ev5 ?\gh h] behavi\r may make me imag9e %e does n c>e = me4 ,if y love !m t love y1 :at ?anks are to y8 ,= s9n]s also love ^? t love !m4#be ,& x is n en\gh to love1 we mu/ prove our love2 naturally "o likes to please a fri5d1 b t is n *>ity1 = s9n]s d ! same4 ,our ,"l also taught me3 ,give to ev]yone t aske? !e2 & ( him t take? away ?y goods1 ask !m n aga94#bf ,to give to ev]yone :o asks is n s pleasant z to give ( "o's own accord4 ,if we are ask$ pleasantly1 x is easy to give2 b if we are ask$ disc\rte\sly1 !n1 unless we are p]fect 9 *>ity1 !re is an inw>d rebellion1 & we f9d no end ( excuses = refus+4 ,p]haps1 aft] fir/ po9t+ out ! rud5ess ( ! reque/1 we make su* a fav\r ( cons5t+ !reto1 t ! slight s]vice takes f> less "t to p]=m ?an 0 lo/ 9 argu+ ! po9t4 ,& if x is difficult to give to :osoev] asks1 x is f> m difficult to let :at belongs to u be tak5 )\t ask+ x aga94 ,de> ,"m1 ,i say ?is is h>d1 b ,i %\ld r say t x seems h>d1 = ,! yoke ( ! ,"l is sweet & ,8 burd5 light4#bg ,& :5 we submit to t yoke1 we at once feel its sweetness4 ,i h said ,jesus does n wi% me to ask aga9 = :at is my own4 ,?is ought to seem q easy1 =1 9 reality1 no?+ is m9e4 ,i ought1 !n1 to be glad :5 an occasion arises :i* br+s home to me ! pov]ty to :i* ,i am v[$4 ,i us$ to ?9k myself completely deta*$1 b s9ce ,our ,"l's words h become cle>1 ,i see t ,i am inde$ v imp]fect4 ,= in/ance3 :5 />t+ to pa9t1 if ,i f9d ! bru%es 9 disord]1 & a rul] or p5knife gone1 ,i feel incl9$ to lose pati5ce1 & h to keep a firm hold ov] myself n to betray my feel+s4 ,( c\rse ,i may ask = ^! ne$ful ?+s1 & if ,i d s humbly ,i am n disobey+ ,our ,"l's comm&4 ,i am !n l ! poor :o hold out _! h&s = ! necess>ies ( life1 &1 if refus$1 are n surpris$1 s9ce no "o owes !m any?+4 ,deep peace inundates ! s\l :5 x so>s above m]e natural s5tim5ts4 ,!re is no joy equal to t :i* is %>$ by ! truly poor 9 _s4 ,if !y ask ) deta*m5t = some?+ necess>y1 & n only is x refus$1 b an attempt is made to take away :at !y already possess1 !y are foll[+ ! ,ma/]'s advice3 ,if any man w take away ?y coat1 let him h ?y cloak also4#bh ,to give up "o's cloak is1 x seems to me1 to r5\nce e "r1 & to reg>d oneself z ! s]vant1 ! slave1 ( all4 ,)\t a cloak x is easi] to walk or run1 & s ! ,ma/] adds3 ,& :osoev] %all =ce !e to g "o mile1 g ) him o!r two4#bi ,x is !re=e n en\gh = me to give to :oev] asks--,i ought to anticipate ! wi%1 & %[ myself glad to be ( s]vice2 b if any?+ ( m9e be tak5 away1 ,i %\ld %[ myself glad to be rid ( x4 ,i _c always c>ry out to ! lett] ! words ( ! ,gospel1 = !re are occasions :5 ,i am compell$ to refuse "s reque/4 ,yet :5 *>ity is deeply root$ 9 ! s\l x lets itself be outw>dly se51 & !re is a way ( refus+ s graci\sly :at "o is unable to give1 t ! refusal af=ds z mu* pleasure z ! gift w\ld h done4 ,x is true t p d n hesitate to ask f ^? :o readily oblige1 nev]!less ,i ought n to avoid importunate ,si/]s on ! pretext t ,i %all be =c$ to refuse4 ,! ,div9e ,ma/] has said3 ,f him t w\ld borr[ ( !e turn n away4#cj ,nor %\ld ,i be k9d 9 ord] to appe> s1 or 9 ! hope t ! ,si/] w return ! s]vice1 = once m x is writt53 ,if y l5d to !m ( :om y hope to receive1 :at ?anks are to y8 ,= s9n]s also l5d to s9n]s = to receive z mu*4 ,b y d good & l5d1 hop+ = no?+ !reby1 & y\r rew>d %all be great4#ca ,v]ily1 ! rew>d is great ev5 on e>?4 ,9 ?is pa? x is only ! fir/ /ep :i* co/s4 ,to l5d )\t hope ( be+ repaid seems h>d2 "o w\ld r give outright1 = :at y give is no long] y\rs4 ,:5 a ,si/] says confid5tly3 ,i want y\r help = "s h\rs--,i h our ,"m's leave1 & be assur$ ,i w d z mu* = y lat]1 "o may "k well t ^! h\rs l5t w n be repaid1 & be sorely tempt$ to say3 ,i pref] to give !m4 ,b t w\ld gratify self-love1 besides lett+ ! ,si/] feel t y d n rely mu* on h] promise4 ,! ,div9e precepts run contr>y to our natural incl9ations1 & )\t ! help ( grace x w\ld be impossible to und]/& !m1 f> less to put !m 9 practice4 ,de> ,"m1 ,i feel t ,i h express$ myself ) m ?an usual confusion1 & ,i d n "k :at y c f9d to int]e/ y 9 ^! rambl+ pages1 b ,i am n aim+ at a lit]>y ma/]piece1 & if ,i we>y y by ?is disc\rse on *>ity1 x w at lea/ prove y\r *ild's good w4 ,i mu/ confess ,i am f> f liv+ up to my ideal1 & yet ! v desire to d s gives me a feel+ ( peace4 ,if ,i fall into "s fault1 ,i arise aga9 at once--& = "s mon?s n[ ,i h n ev5 _h to /ruggle4 ,i h be5 able to say ) our holy ,fa!r1 ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross3 ,my h\se is entirely at peace1 & ,i attribute ?is int]ior peace to a victory ,i ga9$ ov] myself4 ,s9ce t victory1 ! ho/s ( ,heav5 h ha/5$ to my aid1 = !y w n all[ me to be w\nd$1 n[ t ,i h f\ght s valiantly4 ,a holy nun ( our community annoy$ me 9 all t %e did2 ! devil mu/ h _h some?+ to d ) x1 & he x 0 und\bt$ly :o made me see 9 h] s _m disagreeable po9ts4 ,i did n want to yield to my natural antipa?y1 = ,i rememb]$ t *>ity ought to betray itself 9 de$s1 & n exi/ m]ely 9 ! feel+s1 s ,i set myself to d = ?is si/] all ,i %\ld d = ! "o ,i lov$ mo/4 ,e "t ,i met h] ,i pray$ = h]1 & (f]$ to ,god h] virtues & m]its4 ,i felt t ?is 0 v pleas+ to ,our ,"l1 = !re is no arti/ :o is n gratifi$ :5 8 works are prais$1 & ! ,div9e ,arti/ ( s\ls is pleas$ :5 we d n /op at ! ext]ior1 b1 p5etrat+ to ! inn] sanctu>y ,he has *os51 admire its beauty4 ,i did n re/ satisfi$ ) pray+ = ?is ,si/]1 :o gave me su* occasions = self-ma/]y1 ,i tri$ to r5d] h] z _m s]vices z ,i c\ld1 & :5 tempt$ to answ] h] %>ply1 ,i made ha/e to smile & *ange ! subject1 = ! ,imitation says3 ,x is m pr(itable to leave ev]yone to 8 way ( ?9k+ ?an to give way to cont5ti\s disc\rses4 ,& sometimes :5 ! temptation 0 v sev]e1 ,i w\ld run l a des]t] f ! battlefield if ,i c\ld d s )\t lett+ ! ,si/] guess my inw>d /ruggle4 ,"o day %e said to me ) a beam+ face3 ,my de> ,soeur ,?rse1 tell me :at attraction y f9d 9 me1 = :5ev] we meet1 y greet me ) su* a sweet smile4 ,ah6 ,:at attract$ me 0 ,jesus hidd5 9 ! dep?s ( h] s\l--,jesus :o make? sweet ev5 t :i* is mo/ bitt]4 ,i spoke j n[1 de> ,"m1 ( ! flight t is my la/ res\rce to escape defeat4 ,x is n hon\rable1 ,i confess1 b dur+ my noviciate1 :5ev] ,i _h rec\rse to ?is means1 x inv>iably succe$$4 ,i w give y a /rik+ example1 :i* w1 ,i am sure1 amuse y4 ,y _h be5 ill ) bron*itis = sev]al days1 & we 7 all uneasy ab\t y4 ,"o morn+1 9 my duty z sacri/an1 ,i came to put back ! keys ( ! ,communion-grat+4 ,?is 0 my "w1 & ,i 0 v pleas$ to h an opportunity ( see+ y1 ?\gh ,i took good c>e n to %[ x4 ,"o ( ! ,si/]s1 full ( solicitude1 fe>$ ,i %\ld awake y1 & tri$ to take ! keys f me4 ,i told h] z politely z ,i c\ld1 t ,i 0 q z anxi\s z %e 0 !re %\ld be no noise1 & add$ t x 0 my "r to return !m4 ,i see n[ t x w\ld h be5 m p]fect simply to yield1 b ,i did n see x !n1 & s ,i foll[$ h] into ! room4 ,v soon :at %e fe>$ came to pass3 ! noise did awak5 y4 ,all ! blame fell ^u me2 ! ,si/] ,i _h argu$ ) began a long disc\rse1 ( :i* ! po9t 03 ,soeur ,?rse made all ! noise4 ,i 0 burn+ to def5d myself1 b a happy inspiration ( grace came to me4 ,i ?\ght t if ,i began to ju/ify myself ,i %\ld c]ta9ly lose my peace ( m9d1 & z ,i _h too little virtue to let myself be unju/ly accus$ )\t answ]+1 my la/ *ance ( safety lay 9 flight4 ,no soon] ?\ght ?an done4 ,i hurri$ away1 b my he>t beat s viol5tly1 ,i c\ld n g f>1 & ,i 0 oblig$ to sit d[n on ! /airs to enjoy 9 quiet ! fruit ( my victory4 ,?is is an odd k9d ( c\rage1 und\bt$ly1 b ,i ?9k x is be/ n to expose oneself 9 ! face ( c]ta9 defeat4 ,:5 ,i recall ^! days ( my noviciate ,i und]/& h[ f> ,i 0 f p]fection1 & ! memory ( c]ta9 ?+s makes me laugh4 ,h[ good ,god has be51 to h tra9$ my s\l & giv5 x w+s ,all ! sn>es ( ! hunt] c no long] fright5 me1 = ,a net is spread 9 va9 be=e ! eyes ( !m t h w+s4#cb ,x may be t "s day my pres5t /ate w appe> to me full ( defects1 b no?+ n[ surprises me1 & ,i d n ev5 di/ress myself because ,i am s weak4 ,on ! contr>y ,i glory !re91 & expect ea* day to f9d fre% imp]fections4 ,nay1 ,i mu/ confess1 ^! lights on my own no?+ness are ( m good to my s\l ?an lights on matt]s ( ,fai?4 ,rememb]+ t ,*>ity cov]e? a multitude ( s9s1#cc ,i draw f ?is ri* m9e1 :i* ,our ,savi\r has op5$ to u 9 ! ,gospels4 ,i se>* ! dep?s ( ,8 adorable words1 & cry out ) ,david3 ,i h run 9 ! way ( ,?y comm&m5ts s9ce ,?\ ha/ enl>g$ my he>t4#cd ,& *>ity alone c make wide ! he>t4 ,o ,jesus6 ,s9ce its sweet flame consumes my he>t1 ,i run ) delight 9 ! way ( ,?y ,new ,comm&m5t1 & ,i desire to run !re9 until t bless$ day :51 ) ,?y company ( ,virg9s1 ,i %all foll[ ,!e ?r\gh ,?y b\ndless ,realm1 s++ ,?y ,new ,canticle--,! ,canticle ( ,love4 #a #a ,k+s #af3g4 #b ,tobias #ab3g4 #c ,cf4 ,isaias #c3aj4 #d ,prov4 #i3d4 #e ,isa4 #ff3ab1 #ac4 #f ,cf4 ,ps4 #gjga3ag1 #ah4 #g ,soeur ,?rse _h *>ge ( ! novices )\t be+ giv5 ! title ( ,novice ,mi/ress4 #h ,ps4 #aahaai3ada4 #i ,ps4 #aahaai3ajj1 #aje1 #ajf4 #aj ,luke #a3di4 #aa ,cf4 ,john #a3e4 #ab ,cf4 ,luke #ah3ac4 #ac ,ps4 #iaib3e4 #ad ,ps4 #adcadd3a1 #b4 #ae ,ps4 #acbacc3a4 #af ,matt4 #bb3ci4 #ag ,cf4 ,matt4 #g3ba4 #ah ,cf4 ,john #ac3cd4 #ai ,john #ae3ab4 #bj ,luke #aa3cc4 #ba ,john #ae3ab4 #bb #a ,cor4 #d3c1d4 #bc ,luke #f3cg4 #bd ,matt4 #e3dc1 #dd4 #be ,luke #f3cb4 #bf ,luke #f3cj4 #bg ,matt4 #aa3cj4 #bh ,matt4 #e3dj4 #bi ,matt4 #e3da4 #cj ,matt4 #e3db4 #ca ,luke #f3cd1 #ce4 #cb ,prov4 #a3bg4 #cc ,prov4 #aj3ab4 #cd ,ps4 #aahaai3cb4 ,,*apt] ,x ,,! ,,new ,,comm&m5t ,de> ,"m1 ,god 9 ,8 inf9ite goodness has giv5 me a cle> insight into ! deep my/]ies ( ,*>ity4 ,if ,i c\ld b express :at ,i "k1 y w\ld he> a heav5ly music2 b alas6 ,i c only /amm] l a *ild1 & if ,god's own words 7 n my support1 ,i %\ld be tempt$ to beg leave to hold my peace4 ,:5 ! ,div9e ,ma/] tells me to give to :osoev] asks ( me1 & to let :at is m9e be tak5 )\t ask+ x aga91 x seems to me t ,he speaks n only ( ! goods ( e>?1 b also ( ! goods ( ,heav54 ,besides1 nei!r "o nor ! o!r are really m9e2 ,i r5\nc$ ! =m] by ! v[ ( pov]ty1 & ! latt] gifts are simply l5t4 ,if ,god )draw !m1 ,i h no "r to compla94 ,b our v own ideas1 ! fruit ( our m9d & he>t1 =m a treasury on :i* none d>e lay h&s4 ,= in/ance1 if ,i reveal to a ,si/] "s light giv5 me 9 pray]1 & %e repeats x lat] on z ?\gh x 7 h] own1 x seems z ?\gh %e appropriates :at is m9e4 ,or1 if dur+ recreation someone makes an apt & witty rem>k1 :i* h] neighb\r repeats to ! ,community1 )\t ackn[l$g+ :5ce x came1 x is a sort ( !ft2 & ! p]son :o orig9at$ ! rem>k is naturally incl9$ to seize ! fir/ opportunity ( delicately ins9uat+ t h] ?\ghts h be5 borr[$4 ,i c\ld n s well expla9 all ^! weaknesses ( human nature _h ,i n exp]i5c$ !m4 ,i %\ld h pref]r$ to indulge 9 ! illusion t ,i 0 ! only "o :o suff]$ ?us1 _h y n bidd5 me advise ! novices 9 _! difficulties4 ,i h le>nt mu* 9 ! dis*>ge ( ?is duty1 & especially ,i feel b\nd to put 9 practice :at ,i tea*4 ,i c say ) tru? t by ,god's grace ,i am no m atta*$ to ! gifts ( ! intellect ?an to mat]ial ?+s4 ,if x happ5s t a ?\ght ( m9e %\ld please my ,si/]s1 ,i f9d x q easy to let !m reg>d x z _! own4 ,my ?\ghts belong to ! ,holy ,gho/4 ,!y are n m9e4 ,/4 ,paul assures u t )\t ! ,_s ( ,love1 we _c call ,god our ,fa!r4#a ,& besides1 ?\gh f> f depreciat+ ^? beautiful ?\ghts :i* br+ u ne>] to ,god1 ,i h long be5 ( op9ion t we mu/ be c>eful n to ov]-e/imate _! wor?4 ,! highe/ inspirations are ( no value )\t good works4 ,x is true t o!rs may d]ive mu* pr(it !refrom1 if !y are duly grateful to our ,"l = all[+ !m to %>e 9 ! abundance ( "o ( ,8 privileg$ s\ls2 b %\ld ?is privileg$ s\l take pride 9 spiritual weal?1 & imitate ! ,ph>isee1 %e becomes l to a ho/ess dy+ ( />vation at a well-spread table1 :ile h] gue/s enjoy ! ri*e/ f>e1 & p]haps ca/ envi\s glances at ! possessor ( s _m treasures4 ,v]ily x is true t ,god alone c s\nd ! he>t4 ,h[ %ort-sight$ are ,8 creatures6 ,:5 !y see a s\l ^: lights surpass _! own1 !y conclude t ! ,div9e ,ma/] loves !m less4 ,s9ce :5 has ,he lo/ ! "r to make use ( "o ( ,8 *ildr51 9 ord] to supply ! o!rs ) ! n\ri%m5t !y ne$8 ,t "r 0 n lo/ 9 ! days ( ,ph>aoh1 = ,god said unto him3 ,& !re=e h ,i rais$ !e1 t ,i may %[ ,my p[] 9 !e1 & ,my "n may be spok5 ( ?r\gh\t all ! e>?4#b ,g5]ations h pass$ away s9ce ! ,mo/ ,high spoke ^! words1 & ,8 ways h n *ang$4 ,he has ev] *os5 human in/rum5ts = ! accompli%m5t ( ,8 "w4 ,if an arti/'s canvas c\ld b ?9k & speak1 surely x w\ld nev] compla9 ( be+ t\*$ & re-t\*$ by ! bru%1 nor w\ld x feel envi\s !re(1 kn[+ t all its beauty is due to ! arti/ alone4 ,s1 too1 ! bru% itself c\ld n boa/ ( ! ma/]piece x _h help$ to produce1 = x mu/ "k t an arti/ is nev] at a loss2 t difficulties d b /imulate him2 & t at times x pleases him to make use ( in/rum5ts ! mo/ unlikely & defective4 ,de> ,"m1 ,i am ! little bru% t ,jesus has *os5 to pa9t ,8 lik5ess 9 ! s\ls y h confid$ to my c>e4 ,n[ an arti/ has sev]al bru%es--two at ! lea/3 ! fir/1 :i* is m useful1 gives ! gr\nd t9ts & rapidly cov]s ! :ole canvas2 ! o!r1 & small] "o1 puts 9 ! less] t\*es4 ,"m1 y repres5t ! big bru% :i* our ,"l holds lov+ly 9 ,8 ,h& :5 ,he wi%es to d "s great "w 9 ! s\ls ( y\r *ildr52 & ,i am ! little "o ,he deigns to use aft]w>ds1 to fill 9 ! m9or details4 ,! fir/ "t ! ,div9e ,ma/] took up ,8 little bru% 0 ab\t ,decemb] #h1 #ahib4 ,i %all always rememb] t "t z "o ( special grace4 ,:5 ,i ent]$ ! ,c>mel1 ,i f\nd 9 ! noviciate a companion ab\t eight ye>s old] ?an ,i 04 ,9 spite ( ?is diff]5ce ( age1 we became ! close/ fri5ds1 & to enc\rage an affection :i* gave promise ( fo/]+ virtue we 7 all[$ to conv]se toge!r on spiritual subjects4 ,my companion *>m$ me by h] innoc5ce & by h] op5 & frank disposition1 ?\gh ,i 0 surpris$ to f9d h[ h] love = y diff]$ f m9e2 & besides1 ,i regrett$ _m ?+s 9 h] behavi\r4 ,b ,god _h already giv5 me to und]/& t !re are s\ls = :om 9 ,8 ,m]cy ,he waits unwe>i$ly1 & to :om ,he gives ,8 light by degrees2 s ,i 0 v c>eful n to =e/all ,him4 ,"o day :5 ,i 0 ?9k+ ov] ! p]mission we _h to talk toge!r1 s t we might--z our holy con/itutions tells u--incite ourselves m ard5tly to ! love ( our ,div9e ,sp\se1 x came home to me sadly t our conv]sations did n atta9 ! desir$ end2 & ,i und]/ood t ei!r ,i mu/ no long] fe> to speak out1 or else ,i mu/ put an end to :at 0 deg5]at+ into m]e worldly talk4 ,i begg$ our ,"l to inspire me ) words1 k9d & conv9c+2 or bett] /ill1 to speak ,himself = me4 ,he he>d my pray]1 = ^? :o look ^u ,him %all be enlight5$1#c & to ! upright a light is ris5 9 ! d>kness4#d ,! fir/ ( ^! texts ,i apply to myself1 ! o!r to my companion1 :o 0 truly upright 9 he>t4 ,! next "t we met1 ! poor little ,si/] saw at once t my mann] _h *ang$1 &1 blu%+ deeply1 %e sat d[n beside me4 ,i press$ h] to my he>t1 & told h] g5tly :at 0 9 my m9d2 !n ,i po9t$ out to h] 9 :at true love consi/s1 & prov$ t 9 lov+ h] ,prioress ) su* natural affection %e 0 9 reality lov+ h]self4 ,i confid$ to h] ! sacrifices ( ?is k9d :i* ,i _h be5 oblig$ to make at ! beg9n+ ( my religi\s life1 & be=e long h] te>s 7 m+l$ ) m9e4 ,%e admitt$ v humbly t %e 0 9 ! wrong & t ,i 0 "r1 &1 begg+ me z a fav\r always to po9t out h] faults1 %e promis$ to beg9 a new life4 ,f ?is "t our love = "o ano!r became truly spiritual2 9 u 7 fulfill$ ^! words ( ! ,holy ,gho/3 ,a bro!r t is help$ by 8 bro!r is l a /rong city4#e ,de> ,"m1 y "k v well t x 0 n my wi% to turn my companion away f y1 ,i only want$ h] to grasp t true love fe$s on sacrifice1 & t 9 proportion z our s\ls r5\nce natural enjoym5ts our affections become /rong] & m deta*$4 ,i rememb] t :5 ,i 0 a po/ulant ,i 0 sometimes s viol5tly tempt$ to seek my own satisfaction by hav+ a ^w ) y1 t ,i 0 oblig$ to hurry pa/ y\r cell & hold on to ! bani/]s to keep myself f turn+ back4 ,num]\s p]missions ,i want$ to ask1 & a hundr$ pretexts = yield+ to my desires sugge/$ !mselves1 b n[ ,i am truly glad t ,i did n li/54 ,i already enjoy ! rew>d promis$ to ^? :o fight bravely4 ,i no long] feel ! ne$ ( refus+ myself ^! consolations1 = my he>t is fix$ on ,god4 ,because x has lov$ ,him only1 x has gr[n1 little by little1 & n[ x c give to ^? :o are de> to ,him a f> deep] & tru] love ?an if x 7 c5tr$ 9 a b>r5 & selfi% affection4 ,i h told y ( ! fir/ piece ( "w :i* y accompli%$ toge!r ) ,our ,"l by means ( ! little bru%1 b t 0 only ! prelude to ! ma/]piece :i* 0 aft]w>ds to be pa9t$4 ,f ! mom5t ,i ent]$ ! sanctu>y ( s\ls1 ,i saw at a glance t ! task 0 beyond my /r5g?4 ,?r[+ myself )\t delay into ,our ,"l's ,arms1 ,i imitat$ ^? t9y *ildr51 :o1 :5 !y are fright5$1 hide _! faces on _! fa!r's %\ld]1 & ,i said3 ,de> ,"l1 ,?\ see/ t ,i am too small to fe$ ^! little ones1 b if ?r\gh me ,?\ wilt give to ea* :at is suitable1 !n fill my h&s1 & )\t leav+ ! %elt] ( ,?9e ,arms1 or ev5 turn+ away1 ,i w di/ribute ,?y treasures to ! s\ls :o come to me ask+ = food4 ,%\ld !y f9d x to _! ta/e1 ,i %all "k t ?is is due n to me1 b to ,!e2 & if1 on ! contr>y1 !y f9d fault ) its bitt]ness1 ,i %all n be ca/ d[n1 b try to p]suade !m t x come? f ,!e1 :ile tak+ good c>e to make no *ange 9 x4 ,! k t x 0 impossible to d any?+ ( myself r5d]$ my task easi]4 ,my "o int]ior occupation 0 to unite myself m & m closely to ,god1 kn[+ t ! re/ w\ld be giv5 to me ov] & above4 ,& inde$ my hope has nev] be5 deceiv$2 ,i h always f\nd my h&s fill$ :5 su/5ance 0 ne$$ = ! s\ls ( my ,si/]s4 ,b _h ,i done o!rwise1 & reli$ on my own /r5g?1 ,i %\ld v soon h be5 =c$ to ab&on my task4 ,f af> x seems s easy to d good to s\ls1 to tea* !m to love ,god m1 & to model !m accord+ to "o's own ideas4 ,b1 :5 we draw ne>]1 we quickly feel t )\t ,god's help ?is is q z impossible z to br+ back ! sun :5 once x has set4 ,we mu/ =get ourselves1 & put aside our ta/es & ideas1 & guide s\ls n by our own way1 b along ! pa? :i* ,our ,"l po9ts out4 ,ev5 ?is is n ! mo/ difficult "p2 :at co/s me m ?an all is hav+ to obs]ve _! faults1 _! slighte/ imp]fections1 & wage w> aga9/ !m4 ,unhappily = me--,i 0 go+ to say1 b t w\ld be c[>dly1 s ,i w say--happily = my ,si/]s1 ev] s9ce ,i plac$ myself 9 ! ,arms ( ,jesus ,i h be5 l a wat*man on ! look-out = ! enemy f ! highe/ turret ( a =tifi$ ca/le4 ,no?+ escapes my vigilance2 inde$1 ,i am sometimes surpris$ at my own cle>-sight$ness1 & ,i ?9k x 0 q excusable 9 ! prophet ,jonas to fly be=e ! face ( ! ,"l1 t he might n h to ann\nce ! ru9 ( ,n9ive4 ,r ?an make "o s+le reproa*1 ,i w\ld pref] to receive a ?\s&1 yet ,i feel x is necess>y t ! task %\ld cause me pa91 = if ,i spoke only ?r\gh natural impulse1 !n ! s\l 9 fault w\ld n und]/& its defects & w\ld simply ?9k3 ,?is ,si/] is displeas$1 & h] displeasure falls on me al?\gh ,i am full ( ! be/ int5tions4 ,b 9 ?is1 z 9 all else1 ,i mu/ practise sacrifice & self-d5ial4 ,ev5 9 ! matt] ( writ+ a lett]1 ,i feel t x w produce no fruit1 unless ,i am dis9cl9$ to write1 & only d s f ob$i5ce4 ,:5 conv]s+ ) a novice ,i am on ! wat* to mortify myself1 & ,i avoid ask+ que/ions :i* w\ld satisfy my curiosity4 ,if %e beg9s to speak on an int]e/+ subject1 &1 leav+ x unf9i%$1 passes on to ano!r t we>ies me1 ,i take c>e n to rem9d h] ( ! int]ruption1 = x seems to me t no good c come ( self-seek+4 ,i "k1 de> ,"m1 t y\r little lambs f9d me sev]e2 if !y 7 to read ^! l9es1 !y w\ld say t1 s f> z !y c see1 x does n di/ress me to run aft] !m1 & %[ !m h[ !y h soil$ _! beautiful :ite fleece1 or torn x 9 ! brambles4 ,well1 ! little lambs may say :at !y l--9 _! he>ts !y "k ,i love !m de>ly2 !re is no fe> ( my imitat+ ! hirel+ 4 4 4 :o see? ! wolf com+ & leave? ! %eep1 & flie?4#f ,i am ready to lay d[n my life = !m1 & my affection is s dis9t]e/$ t ,i w\ld n h my novices "k ?is4 ,by ,god's help1 ,i h nev] tri$ to draw _! he>ts to myself1 = ,i h always und]/ood t my mission 0 to lead !m to ,him & to y1 de> ,"m1 :o on ?is e>? hold ,8 place 9 _! reg>d1 & :om1 !re=e1 !y mu/ love & respect4 ,i said be=e1 t ,i h le>nt mu* by guid+ o!rs4 ,9 ! fir/ place ,i see t all s\ls h m or less ! same battles to fight1 & on ! o!r h&1 t "o s\l diff]s widely f ano!r1 s ea* mu/ be dealt ) diff]5tly4 ,) "s ,i mu/ humble myself1 & n %r9k f ackn[l$g+ my own /ruggles & defeats2 !n !y confess m readily ! faults into :i* !y fall1 & are pleas$ t ,i "k by exp]i5ce :at !y suff]4 ,) o!rs1 my only means ( success is to be firm1 & nev] g back on :at ,i h once said2 self-abasem5t w\ld be tak5 = weakness4 ,our ,"l has grant$ me ! grace nev] to fe> ! conflict2 at all co/s ,i mu/ d my duty4 ,i h m ?an once be5 told3 ,if y want me to obey1 y mu/ be g5tle & n sev]e1 o!rwise y w ga9 no?+4 ,b no "o is a good judge 9 8 own case4 ,dur+ a pa9ful op]ation a *ild w be sure to cry out & say t ! rem$y is worse ?an ! disease2 b if aft] a few days he is cur$1 !n he is greatly delight$ t he c run ab\t & play4 ,& x is ! same ) s\ls3 !y soon recognise t a little bitt] is bett] ?an too mu* sweet1 & !y are n afraid to make ! ackn[l$gm5t4 ,sometimes ! *ange :i* takes place f "o day to ano!r seems almo/ magical4 ,a novice w say to me3 ,y did well to be sev]e ye/]day2 at fir/ ,i 0 indignant1 b :5 ,i ?\ght x all ov]1 ,i saw t y 7 q "r4 ,i left y\r cell ?9k+3 ',?is ends x4 ,i w tell ,our ,"m t ,i %all nev] g to ,soeur ,?rse aga9'2 b ,i knew ?is 0 ! devil's sugge/ion1 & !n ,i felt y 7 pray+ = me1 & ,i grew calm4 ,i began to see ?+s m cle>ly1 & n[ ,i come to y = fur!r guidance4 ,i am only too happy to foll[ ! dictates ( my he>t & ha/5 to console ) a little sweetness1 b ,i see t "o mu/ n press =w>d too quickly--a ^w might undo ! "w t co/ s _m te>s4 ,if ,i say ! lea/ ?+ :i* seems to tone d[n ! h>d tru?s ( ! previ\s day1 ,i see my little ,si/] try+ to take advantage ( ! op5+ ?us giv5 h]4 ,at once ,i h rec\rse to pray]1 ,i turn to ,our ,bless$ ,lady1 & ,jesus always triumphs4 ,v]ily 9 pray] & sacrifice lies all my /r5g?1 !y are my inv9cible arms2 exp]i5ce has taught me t !y t\* he>ts f> m easily ?an words4 ,two ye>s ago1 dur+ ,l5t1 a novice came to me smil+1 & said3 ,y w\ld nev] imag9e :at ,i dreamt la/ night--,i ?\ght ,i 0 ) my si/]1 :o is s worldly1 & ,i want$ to )draw h] f all va9 ?+s2 to ?is end ,i expla9$ ! words ( y\r hymn3 ',!y ri*ly lose :o love ,!e1 de>e/ ,"l2 ,?9e are my p]fumes1 ,?9e = ev]more4' ,i felt t my words sank deep into h] s\l1 & ,i 0 ov]joy$4 ,?is morn+ x seems to me t p]haps ,our ,"l w\ld l me to ga9 ,him ?is s\l4 ,h[ w\ld x d if ,i wrote at ,ea/] & describ$ my dream1 tell+ h] t ,jesus desires to h h] = ,8 ,sp\se8 ,i answ]$ t %e might c]ta9ly ask p]mission4 ,z ,l5t 0 n ne>ly ov]1 y 7 surpris$1 de> ,"m1 at su* a premature reque/1 &1 evid5tly guid$ by ,god1 y repli$ t ,c>melites %\ld save s\ls by pray] r ?an by lett]s4 ,:5 ,i he>d y\r decision ,i said to ! little ,si/]3 ,we mu/ set to "w & pray h>d2 if our pray]s are answ]$ at ! end ( ,l5t1 :at a joy x w be6 ,o ,inf9ite ,m]cy ( our ,"l6 ,at ! close ( ,l5t1 "o s\l m _h giv5 h]self to ,god4 ,x 0 a real miracle ( grace--a miracle obta9$ ?r\gh ! f]v\r ( a humble novice4 ,h[ wond]ful is ! p[] ( pray]6 ,x is l unto a que51 :o1 hav+ free access to ! k+1 obta9s :atsoev] %e asks4 ,9 ord] to secure a he>+ !re is no ne$ to recite set pray]s compos$ = ! occasion--7 x s1 ,i ought inde$ to be piti$6 ,ap>t f ! ,div9e ,(fice1 :i* 9 spite ( my unwor?9ess is a daily joy1 ,i h n ! c\rage to look ?r\gh books = beautiful pray]s4 ,i only get a heada*e because ( _! numb]1 & besides1 "o is m lovely ?an ano!r4 ,unable !re=e to say !m all1 & lo/ 9 *oice1 ,i d z *ildr5 :o h n le>nt to read--,i simply tell ,our ,"l all t ,i want1 & ,he always und]/&s4 ,) me pray] is an uplift+ ( ! he>t2 a glance t[>ds heav52 a cry ( gratitude & love1 utt]$ equally 9 sorr[ & 9 joy4 ,9 a ^w1 x is some?+ noble1 sup]natural1 :i* exp&s my s\l & unites x to ,god4 ,sometimes :5 ,i am 9 su* a /ate ( spiritual dryness t n a s+le good ?\ght occurs to me1 ,i say v sl[ly ! ,our ,fa!r or ! ,hail ,m>y1 & ^! pray]s suffice to take me out ( myself1 & wond]fully refre% me4 ,b :at 0 ,i speak+ (8 ,aga9 ,i am lo/ 9 a maze ( reflections4 ,=give me1 de> ,"m1 = w&]+ ?us4 ,my /ory is l a tangl$ ske91 b ,i fe> ,i c d no bett]4 ,i write my ?\ghts z !y come2 ,i fi% at r&om 9 ! /ream ( my he>t1 & (f] y all t ,i cat*4 ,i 0 tell+ y ab\t ! novices4 ,!y (t5 say3 ,y h an answ] = ev]y?+4 ,?is "t ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld puzzle y4 ,:]e d y f9d all t y tea* u8 ,"s are ev5 simple en\gh to ?9k ,i c read _! s\ls1 because at times x happ5s ,i discov] to !m--)\t revelation--! subject ( _! ?\ghts4 ,! s5ior novice _h det]m9$ to hide f me a great sorr[4 ,%e sp5t ! night 9 angui%1 keep+ back h] te>s le/ h] eyes might betray h]4 ,yet %e came to me ) a smile next day1 seem+ ev5 m *e]ful ?an usual1 & :5 ,i said3 ,y are 9 tr\ble1 ,i am sure1 %e look$ at me 9 inexpressible amazem5t4 ,h] surprise 0 s great t x react$ on me1 & imp>t$ a s5se ( ! sup]natural4 ,i felt t ,god 0 close to u4 ,unwitt+ly--= ,i h n ! gift ( read+ s\ls--,i _h spok5 z "o inspir$1 & 0 able to console h] completely4 ,& n[1 de> ,"m1 ,i w tell y :]e9 ,i ga9 mo/ ) ! novices4 ,y "k !y are all[$ )\t re/riction to say any?+ to me1 agreeable or ! rev]se2 ?is is all ! easi] s9ce !y d n owe me ! respect due to a ,novice-,mi/ress4 ,i _c say t ,our ,"l makes me walk 9 ! way ( ext]ior humiliation2 ,he is satisfi$ ) humbl+ me 9 my inmo/ s\l4 ,9 ! eyes ( creatures all is success1 & ,i walk 9 ! dang]\s pa? ( hon\r--if a religi\s may s speak4 ,i und]/& ,god's way & t ( my sup]iors 9 ?is respect2 = if ! ,community ?\ght me incapable1 un9tellig5t1 & want+ 9 judgm5t1 ,i c\ld be ( no possible use to y1 de> ,"m4 ,?is is :y ! ,div9e ,ma/] has ?r[n a veil ov] all my %ortcom+s1 bo? int]ior & ext]ior4 ,because ( ?is veil ,i receive _m complim5ts f ! novices--complim5ts )\t flatt]y1 = !y really mean :at !y say2 & !y d n inspire me ) vanity1 = ! remembrance ( my weakness is ev] be=e me4 ,at times my s\l tires ( ?is ov]-sweet food1 & ,i long to he> some?+ o!r ?an praise2 !n ,our ,"l s]ves me ) a nice little salad1 well spic$1 ) pl5ty ( v9eg>--oil alone is want+1 & ?is x is :i* makes x m to my ta/e4 ,& ! salad is (f]$ to me by ! novices at ! mom5t ,i lea/ expect4 ,god lifts ! veil t hides my faults1 & my de> little ,si/]s1 behold+ me z ,i really am1 d n f9d me altoge!r agreeable4 ,) *>m+ simplicity1 !y tell me h[ ,i try !m & :at !y dislike 9 me2 9 fact1 !y are z frank z ?\gh !y 7 speak+ ( someone else1 = !y are aw>e t ,i am pleas$ :5 !y act 9 ?is way4 ,i am m ?an pleas$--,i am transport$ ) delight by ?is spl5did banquet set be=e me4 ,h[ c any?+ s contr>y to our natural incl9ations af=d su* extraord9>y pleasure8 ,_h ,i n exp]i5c$ x1 ,i c\ld n h believ$ x possible4 ,"o day1 :5 ,i 0 ard5tly long+ = "s humiliation1 a "y po/ulant came to me & sat$ my desire s completely1 t ,i 0 rem9d$ ( ! occasion :5 ,semei curs$ ,david1 & ,i repeat$ to myself ! words ( ! holy ,k+3 ,yea1 x is ! ,"l :o ha? bidd5 him say all ^! ?+s4#g ,9 ?is way ,god takes c>e ( me4 ,he _c always provide t /r5g?-giv+ bread1 ext]ior humiliation1 b f "t to "t ,he all[s me to eat ( ! crumbs f ! table ( ! *ildr54#h ,h[ magnific5t are ,8 ,m]cies6 ,de> ,"m1 s9ce t ,inf9ite ,m]cy is ! subject ( ?is my e>?ly song1 ,i ought also to discov] to y "o real advantage1 reap$ ) _m o!rs 9 ! dis*>ge ( my task4 ,=m]ly1 if ,i saw a ,si/] act+ 9 a way t displeas$ me1 & 0 seem+ly contr>y to rule1 ,i w\ld ?9k3 ,ah1 h[ glad ,i %\ld be if only ,i c\ld w>n h] & po9t out :]e %e is wrong4 ,s9ce1 h[ev]1 ?is burd5 has be5 laid ^u me my ideas h *ang$1 & :5 ,i happ5 to see some?+ n q "r1 ,i say ) a sigh ( relief3 ,?ank ,god6 ,x is n a novice1 & ,i am n oblig$ to correct2 & at once ,i try to f9d excuses1 & cr$it ! do] ) ! good int5tions %e no d\bt possesses4 ,y\r devot$ness1 de> ,"m1 n[ t ,i am ill1 has also taught me _m a lesson ( *>ity4 ,no rem$y is too co/ly1 & if "o does n succe$1 y unhesitat+ly try some?+ new4 ,:5 ,i am pres5t at recreation1 h[ c>eful y are to %ield me f draughts4 ,i feel t ,i ought to be z compassionate = ! spiritual infirmities ( my ,si/]s z y are = my bodily ills4 ,i h notic$ t x is ! holie/ nuns :o are mo/ deeply lov$2 ev]yone is anxi\s to seek _! company1 & d !m s]vice1 )\t ev5 be+ ask$4 ,^! v s\ls :o are well able to be> ) want ( affection & little att5tions are always surr\nd$ by an atmosph]e ( love4 ,our ,fa!r1 ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross1 says ) great tru?3 ,all good ?+s h come unto me1 s9ce ,i no long] s\ght !m = myself4 ,imp]fect s\ls1 on ! contr>y1 are left alone4 ,!y are treat$1 x is true1 ) ! measure ( polit5ess :i* religi\s life dem&s2 yet _! company is avoid$1 le/ a ^w might be said :i* w\ld hurt _! feel+s4 ,:5 ,i say imp]fect s\ls1 ,i am n ref]r+ to s\ls ) spiritual imp]fections only1 = ! holie/ s\ls w n be p]fect till !y are 9 heav54 ,i mean ^? :o are also afflict$ ) want ( tact & ref9em5t1 z well z ultra-s5sitive s\ls4 ,i "k su* defects are incurable1 b ,i also "k h[ pati5t y w\ld be1 9 nurs+ & /riv+ to relieve me1 7 my illness to la/ = _m ye>s4 ,f all ?is ,i draw ! conclusion3--,i ought to seek ! companion%ip ( ^? ,si/]s t[>ds :om ,i feel a natural av]sion1 & try to be _! good ,sam>itan4 ,a ^w or a smile is (t5 en\gh to put fre% life 9 a despond5t s\l4 ,& yet x is n m]ely 9 ! hope ( giv+ consolation t ,i try to be k9d4 ,if x 71 ,i "k t ,i %\ld soon be disc\rag$1 = well-int5tion$ words are (t5 totally misund]/ood4 ,consequ5tly1 n to lose my "t or lab\r1 ,i try to act solely to please ,our ,"l1 & foll[ ?is precept ( ! ,gospel3 ,:5 ?\ make/ a d9n] or a supp]1 call n ?y fri5ds or ?y bre?r51 le/ p]haps !y also invite !e aga9 & a recomp5se be made to !e4 ,b :5 ?\ make/ a fea/1 call ! poor1 ! maim$1 ! bl9d1 & ! lame1 & ?\ %alt be bless$1 because !y h naught :]e) to make !e recomp5se1 & ?y ,fa!r ,:o see? 9 secret w repay !e4#i ,:at fea/ c ,i (f] my ,si/]s b a spiritual "o ( sweet & joyful *>ity6 ,i "k none o!r1 & ,i wi% to imitate ,/4 ,paul1 :o rejoic$ ) ^? :o rejoic$4 ,x is true t he wept ) ^? :o wept1 & at my fea/1 too1 ! te>s mu/ sometimes fall1 /ill ,i %all always try to *ange !m into smiles1 = ,god love? a *e]ful giv]4#aj ,i rememb] an act ( *>ity ) :i* ,god inspir$ me :ile ,i 0 /ill a novice1 & ?is act1 ?\gh seem+ly small1 has be5 rew>d$ ev5 9 ?is life by ,our ,heav5ly ,fa!r1 ,:o see? 9 secret4 ,%ortly be=e ,si/] ,/4 ,pet] became q b$ridd51 x 0 necess>y e ev5+1 at t5 m9utes to six1 = someone to leave m$itation & take h] to ! refectory4 ,x co/ me a good deal to (f] my s]vices1 = ,i knew ! difficulty1 or ,i %\ld say ! impossibility1 ( pleas+ ! poor invalid4 ,b ,i did n want to lose su* a good opportunity1 = ,i recall$ ,our ,"l's words3 ,z long z y did x to "o ( ^! my lea/ bre?r51 y did x to ,me4#aa ,i !re=e humbly (f]$ my aid4 ,x 0 n )\t difficulty ,i induc$ h] to accept x1 b aft] consid]able p]suasion ,i succe$$4 ,e ev5+1 :5 ,i saw h] %ake h] s&-glass1 ,i und]/ood t %e meant3 ,let u g6 ,summon+ up all my c\rage ,i rose1 & ! c]emony began4 ,fir/ ( all1 h] /ool _h to be mov$ & c>ri$ 9 a p>ticul> way1 & on no acc\nt mu/ !re be any hurry4 ,! solemn procession ensu$4 ,i _h to foll[ ! good ,si/]1 support+ h] by h] girdle2 ,i did x z g5tly z possible1 b if by "s mis*ance %e /umbl$1 %e imag9$ ,i _h n a firm hold1 & t %e 0 go+ to fall4 ,y are go+ too fa/1 %e w\ld say1 ,i %all fall & hurt myself6 ,!n :5 ,i tri$ to lead h] m quietly3 ,come quick] 4 4 4 ,i _c feel y 4 4 4 y are lett+ me g6 ,i 0 "r :5 ,i said y 7 too "y to take c>e ( me4 ,:5 we rea*$ ! refectory )\t fur!r mi%ap1 m tr\bles 7 9 /ore4 ,i _h to settle my poor invalid 9 h] place1 tak+ great pa9s n to hurt h]4 ,!n ,i _h to turn back h] sleeves1 always accord+ to h] own special rubric1 & aft] t ,i 0 all[$ to g4 ,b ,i soon notic$ t %e f\nd x v difficult to cut h] bread1 s ,i did n leave h] till ,i _h p]=m$ ?is la/ s]vice4 ,%e 0 mu* t\*$ by ?is att5tion on my "p1 = %e _h n express$ any wi% on ! subject2 x 0 by ?is uns\ght-= k9dness t ,i ga9$ h] entire confid5ce1 & *iefly because--z ,i le>nt lat]--at ! end ( my humble task ,i be/[$ ^u h] my sweete/ smile4 ,de> ,"m1 x is long s9ce all ?is happ5$1 b ,our ,"l all[s ! memory ( x to l+] ) me l a p]fume f ,heav54 ,"o cold w9t] ev5+1 ,i 0 occupi$ 9 ! l[ly "w ( :i* ,i h j spok51 :5 sudd5ly ,i he>d 9 ! di/ance ! h>moni\s /ra9s ( music outside ! conv5t walls4 ,i pictur$ a draw+-room1 brilliantly light$ & decorat$1 & ri*ly furni%$4 ,"y ladies1 elegantly dress$1 ex*ang$ a ?\s& complim5ts1 z is ! way ( ! _w4 ,!n ,i look$ on ! poor invalid ,i 0 t5d+4 ,in/ead ( sweet music ,i he>d h] compla9ts1 in/ead ( ri* gild+ ,i saw ! brick walls ( our b>e cloi/]1 sc>cely visible 9 ! dim light4 ,! contra/ 0 v mov+4 ,our ,"l s illum9at$ my s\l ) ! rays ( tru?1 be=e :i* ! pleasures ( ! _w are b z d>kness1 t = a ?\s& ye>s ( su* worldly delights1 ,i w\ld n h b>t]$ ev5 ! t5 m9utes sp5t 9 my act ( *>ity4 ,if ev5 n[1 9 days ( pa9 & amid ! smoke ( battle1 ! ?\ght t ,god has )drawn u f ! _w is s entranc+1 :at w x be :51 9 et]nal glory & ev]la/+ repose1 we realise ! fav\r beyond comp>e ,he has done u "h1 by s+l+ u out to dwell 9 ,8 ,c>mel1 ! v portal ( ,heav58 ,i h n always felt ^! transports ( joy 9 p]=m+ acts ( *>ity1 b at ! beg9n+ ( my religi\s life ,jesus wi%$ to make me feel h[ sweet to ,him is *>ity1 :5 f\nd 9 ! he>ts ( 8 ,sp\ses4 ,?us :5 ,i l$ ,si/] ,/4 ,pet]1 x 0 ) s mu* love t ,i c\ld n h %[n m 7 ,i guid+ ,our ,div9e ,"l ,himself4 ,! practice ( *>ity has n always be5 s pleasant z ,i h j po9t$ out1 de> ,"m1 & to prove x ,i w rec\nt "s ( my _m /ruggles4 ,= a long "t my place at m$itation 0 ne> a ,si/] :o fidget$ cont9ually1 ei!r ) h] ,ros>y1 or some?+ else2 possibly1 z ,i am v quick ( he>+1 ,i alone he>d h]1 b ,i _c tell y h[ mu* x tri$ me4 ,i %\ld h lik$ to turn r\nd1 & by look+ at ! (f5d]1 make h] /op ! noise2 b 9 my he>t ,i knew t ,i ought to be> x tranquilly1 bo? = ! love ( ,god & to avoid giv+ pa94 ,s ,i kept quiet1 b ! ef=t co/ me s mu* t sometimes ,i 0 ba!d 9 p]spiration1 & my m$itation consi/$ m]ely 9 suff]+ ) pati5ce4 ,aft] a "t ,i tri$ to endure x 9 peace & joy1 at lea/ deep d[n 9 my s\l1 & ,i /rove to take actual pleasure 9 ! disagreeable little noise4 ,in/ead ( try+ n to he> x1 :i* 0 impossible1 ,i set myself to li/51 z ?\gh x _h be5 "s delightful music1 & my m$itation--:i* 0 n ! pray] ( quiet--0 pass$ 9 (f]+ ?is music to ,our ,"l4 ,ano!r "t ,i 0 work+ 9 ! laundry1 & ! ,si/] opposite1 :ile wa%+ h&k]*iefs1 repeat$ly spla%$ me ) dirty wat]4 ,my fir/ impulse 0 to draw back & wipe my face1 to %[ ! (f5d] ,i %\ld be glad if %e w\ld behave m quietly2 b ! next m9ute ,i ?\ght h[ fooli% x 0 to refuse ! treasures ,god (f]$ me s g5]\sly1 & ,i refra9$ f betray+ my annoyance4 ,on ! contr>y1 ,i made su* ef=ts to welcome ! %[] ( dirty wat]1 t at ! end ( half an h\r ,i _h tak5 q a fancy to ?is novel k9d ( asp]sion1 & ,i resolv$ to come z (t5 z ,i c\ld to ! happy spot :]e su* treasures 7 freely be/[$4 ,de> ,"m1 y see t ,i am a v little s\l1 :o c only (f] v little ?+s to ,our ,"l4 ,x /ill happ5s t ,i frequ5tly let slip ! occasion ( ^! sl5d] sacrifices1 :i* br+ s mu* peace1 b ?is does n disc\rage me2 ,i be> ! loss ( a little peace1 & ,i try to be m wat*ful = ! future4 ,h[ happy does ,our ,"l make me1 & h[ sweet & easy is ,8 s]vice on ?is e>?6 ,he has always giv5 me :at ,i desir$1 or r ,he has made me desire :at ,he wi%es to give4 ,a %ort "t be=e my t]rible temptation aga9/ ,fai?1 ,i _h reflect$ h[ few ext]ior trials1 wor?y ( m5tion1 _h fall5 to my lot1 & t if ,i 7 to h int]ior trials1 ,god mu/ *ange my pa?2 & ?is ,i did n ?9k ,he w\ld d4 ,yet ,i c\ld n always live at ease4 ,( :at means1 !n1 w\ld ,he make use8 ,i _h n long to wait = an answ]1 & x %[$ me t ,he :om ,i love is nev] at a loss1 = )\t *ang+ my way1 ,he s5t me ?is great trial2 & ?us m+l$ a heal+ bitt]ness ) all ! sweet4 #a ,cf4 ,rom4 #h3ae4 #b ,exod4 #i3af4 #c ,cf4 ,ps4 #cccd3f4 #d ,ps4 #aaaaab3d4 #e ,prov4 #ah3ai4 #f ,john #aj3ab4 #g ,cf4 #b ,k+s #af3aj4 #h ,m>k #g3bh4 #i ,cf4 ,luke #ad3ab1 #ac1 #ad4 #aj #b ,cor4 #i3g4 #aa ,matt4 #be3dj4 ,,*apt] ,,xi ,a ,,canticle ,,( ,,love ,x is n only :5 ,he is ab\t to s5d me "s trial t ,our ,"l gives me w>n+ & awak5s my desire = x4 ,= ye>s ,i _h *]i%$ a long+ :i* seem$ impossible ( realisation--to h a bro!r a ,prie/4 ,i (t5 us$ to ?9k t if my little bro!rs _h n gone to ,heav51 ,i %\ld h _h ! happ9ess ( see+ !m at ! ,alt>4 ,i greatly regrett$ be+ depriv$ ( ?is joy4 ,yet ,god w5t beyond my dream2 ,i only ask$ = "o bro!r :o w\ld rememb] me ea* day at ! ,holy ,alt>1 & ,he has unit$ me 9 ! bonds ( spiritual fri5d%ip ) two ( ,8 apo/les4 ,i %\ld l to tell y1 de> ,"m1 h[ ,our ,div9e ,ma/] fulfill$ my desire4 ,9 #ahie our holy ,"m1 ,/4 ,t]esa1 s5t my fir/ bro!r z a gift = my fea/4 ,x 0 wa%+ day1 & ,i 0 busy at my "w1 :5 ,"m ,agnes ( ,jesus1 !n ,prioress1 call$ me aside & read me a lett] f a "y ,sem9>i/1 9 :i* he said he _h be5 inspir$ by ,/4 ,t]esa to ask = a si/] :o w\ld devote h]self specially to 8 salvation1 & to ! salvation ( 8 future flock4 ,he promis$ always to rememb] ?is spiritual si/] :5 say+ ,mass1 & ! *oice fell ^u me4 ,de> ,"m1 ,i _c tell y h[ happy ?is made me4 ,su* unlook$-= fulfillm5t ( my desire awoke 9 my he>t ! joy ( a *ild2 x c>ri$ me back to ^? e>ly days1 :5 pleasures 7 s ke51 t my he>t seem$ too small to conta9 !m4 ,ye>s _h pass$ s9ce ,i _h ta/$ a l happ9ess1 s fre%1 s unfamili>1 z if =gott5 *ords _h be5 /irr$ )9 me4 ,fully aw>e ( my obligations1 ,i set to "w1 & /rove to r$\ble my f]v\r4 ,n[ & aga9 ,i wrote to my new bro!r4 ,und\bt$ly1 x is by pray] & sacrifice t we c help our mission>ies1 b sometimes1 :5 x pleases ,our ,"l to unite two s\ls = ,8 ,glory1 ,he p]mits !m to communicate _! ?\ghts1 & ?us inspire ea* o!r to love ,god m4 ,( c\rse an express comm& f ^? 9 au?ority is ne$$ = ?is1 o!rwise1 x seems to me1 t su* a correspond5ce w\ld d m h>m ?an good1 if n to ! mission>y1 at lea/ to ! ,c>melite1 ^: mann] ( life t5ds to cont9ual introv]sion4 ,?is ex*ange ( lett]s1 ?\gh r>e1 w\ld occupy h] m9d uselessly2 in/ead ( unit+ h] to ,god1 %e w\ld p]haps fancy %e 0 do+ wond]s1 :5 9 reality1 "u cov] ( zeal1 %e 0 do+ no?+ b produc+ ne$less di/raction4--,& "h am ,i1 laun*$1 n ^u a di/raction1 b ^u a diss]tation equally sup]flu\s4 ,i %all nev] be able to correct myself ( ^! l5g?y digressions :i* mu/ be s we>isome to y1 de> ,"m4 ,=give me1 %\ld ,i (f5d aga94 ,la/ ye>1 at ! end ( ,may1 x 0 y\r turn to give me my second bro!r1 & :5 ,i repres5t$ t1 hav+ giv5 all my m]its to "o future apo/le1 ,i fe>$ !y c\ld n be giv5 to ano!r1 y told me t ob$i5ce w\ld d\ble _! value4 ,9 ! dep?s ( my he>t ,i ?\ght ! same ?+1 &1 s9ce ! zeal ( a ,c>melite ought to embrace ! :ole _w1 ,i hope1 ) ,god's help1 to be ( use to ev5 m ?an two mission>ies4 ,i pray = all1 n =gett+ our ,prie/s at home1 ^: m9i/ry is q z difficult z t ( ! mission>y prea*+ to ! hea!n4 4 4 4 ,9 a ^w1 ,i wi% to be a true daught] ( ! ,*ur*1 l our holy ,"m ,/4 ,t]esa1 & pray = all ! int5tions ( ,*ri/'s ,vic>4 ,t is ! "o great aim ( my life4 ,b j z ,i %\ld h _h a special int]e/ 9 my little bro!rs _h !y liv$1 & t1 )\t neglect+ ! g5]al int]e/s ( ! ,*ur*1 s n[1 ,i unite myself 9 a special way to ! new bro!rs :om ,jesus has giv5 me4 ,all t ,i possess is !irs also4 ,god is too good to give by halves2 ,he is s ri* t ,he gives me all ,i ask =1 ev5 ?\gh ,i d n lose myself 9 l5g?y enum]ations4 ,z ,i h two bro!rs & my little si/]s1 ! novices1 ! days w\ld be too %ort 7 ,i to ask 9 detail = ! ne$s ( ea* s\l1 & ,i fe> ,i might =get some?+ important4 ,simple s\ls _c und]/& complicat$ me?ods1 &1 z ,i am "o ( _! numb]1 ,our ,"l has inspir$ me ) a v simple way ( fulfill+ my obligations4 ,"o day1 aft] ,holy ,communion1 ,he made me und]/& ^! words ( ! ,canticles3 ,draw me3 we w run aft] ,!e to ! od\r ( ,?y o9tm5ts4#a ,o my ,jesus1 !re is no ne$ to say3 ,9 draw+ me1 draw also ! s\ls t ,i love3 ^! words1 ,draw me1 suffice4 ,:5 a s\l has let h]self be tak5 captive by ! inebriat+ od\r ( ,?y p]fumes1 %e _c run alone2 z a natural consequ5ce ( h] attraction t[>ds ,!e1 ! s\ls ( all ^? %e loves are drawn 9 h] tra94 ,j z a torr5t c>ries into ! dep?s ( ! sea all t x meets on its way1 s1 my ,jesus1 does ! s\l :o plunges into ! %oreless ocean ( ,?y ,love br+ ) x all its treasures4 ,my treasures are ! s\ls x has pleas$ !e to unite ) m9e2 ,?\ ha/ confid$ !m to me1 & !re=e ,i d n fe> to use ,?y own words1 utt]$ by ,!e on ! la/ night t saw ,!e /ill a travell] on ?is e>?4 ,jesus1 my ,belov$6 ,i "k n :5 my exile w h an end4 ,_m a night ,i may yet s+ ,?y ,m]cies "h bel[1 b = me also w come ! la/ night1 & !n ,i %all be able to say3 ,i h glorifi$ ,!e ^u e>?3 ,i h f9i%$ ! "w :i* ,?\ gave/ me to d4 ,i h manife/$ ,?y "n to ! m5 :om ,?\ ha/ giv5 me out ( ! _w4 ,?9e !y 71 & to me ,?\ gave/ !m2 & !y h kept ,?y ^w4 ,n[ !y h kn[n t all ?+s :i* ,?\ ha/ giv5 me are f ,!e3 because ! words :i* ,?\ gave/ me ,i h giv5 to !m2 & !y h receiv$ !m1 & h kn[n = c]ta9 t ,i came =? f ,!e1 & !y h believ$ t ,?\ did/ s5d me4 ,i pray = !m3 ,i pray n = ! _w1 b = !m :om ,?\ ha/ giv5 me1 because !y are ,?9e4 ,& all m9e are ,?9e1 & ,?9e are m9e2 & ,i am glorifi$ 9 !m4 ,& n[ ,i am no m 9 ! _w1 & ^! are 9 ! _w1 & ,i come to ,!e4 ,holy ,fa!r1 keep !m 9 ,?y "n1 :om ,?\ ha/ giv5 me1 t !y may be "o1 z we also are "o4 ,& n[ ,i come to ,!e1 & ^! ?+s ,i speak 9 ! _w1 t !y may h my joy fill$ 9 !mselves4 ,i d n ask t ,?\ take !m away out ( ! _w1 b t ,?\ pres]ve !m f evil4 ,!y are n ( ! _w1 z ,i also am n ( ! _w4 ,& n = !m only d ,i pray1 b = ^? also :o ?r\gh _! ^w %all believe 9 me4 ,fa!r1 ,i w t :]e ,i am !y also :om ,?\ ha/ giv5 me may be ) me1 t !y may see my glory :i* ,?\ ha/ giv5 me1 because ,?\ ha/ lov$ me be=e ! f\ndation ( ! _w4 ,& ,i h made kn[n ,?y "n unto !m1 & w make x kn[n1 t ! love :]e) ,?\ ha/ lov$ me may be 9 !m & ,i 9 !m4#b ,yea1 ,"l1 ?us w\ld ,i repeat ,?y words1 be=e los+ myself 9 ,?y lov+ embrace4 ,p]haps x is d>+1 b1 = a long "t1 ha/ ?\ n all[$ me to be d>+ ) ,!e8 ,?\ ha/ said to me1 z ! ,prodigal's fa!r to 8 eld] son3 ,all ,i h is ?9e4#c ,& !re=e ,i may use ?y v own words to draw d[n fav\rs f ,our ,heav5ly ,fa!r on all :o are de> to me4 ,my ,god1 ,?\ kn[e/ t ,i h ev] desir$ to love ,!e alone4 ,x has be5 my only ambition4 ,?y love has gone be=e me1 ev5 f ! days ( my *ildhood4 ,x has gr[n ) my gr[?1 & n[ x is an abyss ^: dep?s ,i _c fa?om4 ,love attracts love2 m9e d>ts t[>ds ,!e1 & w\ld fa9 make ! abyss brim ov]1 b alas6 x is n ev5 z a dewdrop 9 ! ocean4 ,to love ,!e z ,?\ love/ me1 ,i mu/ make ,?y ,love m9e own4 ,?us alone c ,i f9d re/4 ,o my ,jesus1 x seems to me t ,?\ c\ld/ n h ov]:elm$ a s\l ) m love ?an ,?\ ha/ p\r$ out on m9e1 & t is :y ,i d>e ask ,!e to love ^? ,?\ ha/ giv5 me1 ev5 z ,?\ love/ me4 ,if1 9 ,heav51 ,i f9d t ?\ love/ !m m ?an ,?\ love/ me1 ,i %all rejoice1 = ,i ackn[l$ge t _! des]ts are great] ?an m9e1 b n[1 ,i c conceive no love m va/ ?an t ) :i* ,?\ ha/ fav\r$ me1 )\t any m]it on my "p4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,de> ,"m1 :at ,i h j writt5 amazes me4 ,i _h no int5tion ( writ+ x4 ,:5 ,i said3 ,! words :i* ,?\ gave/ me ,i h giv5 unto !m1 ,i 0 ?9k+ only ( my little si/]s 9 ! noviciate4 ,i am n able to tea* mission>ies1 & ! words ,i wrote = !m 7 f ! pray] ( ,our ,"l3 ,i d n ask t ,?\ %\ld/ take !m out ( ! _w2 ,i pray also = !m :o ?r\gh _! ^w %all believe 9 ,!e4 ,h[ c\ld ,i =get ^? s\ls !y are to w9 by _! suff]+s & exhortations8 ,b ,i h n told y all my ?\ghts on ?is passage ( ! ,sacr$ ,canticles3 ,draw me--we w run6 ,our ,"l has said3 ,no man c come to ,me except ! ,fa!r ,:o ha? s5t ,me1 draw him1#d & lat] ,he tells u t :osoev] seeks %all f9d1 :osoev] asks %all receive1 t unto him t knocks x %all be op5$1 & ,he adds t :atev] we ask ! ,fa!r 9 ,8 ,"n %all be giv5 u4 ,x 0 no d\bt = ?is reason t1 long be=e ! bir? ( ,our ,"l1 ! ,holy ,_s dictat$ ^! prophetic words3 ,draw me--we w run6 ,by ask+ to be drawn1 we desire an intimate union ) ! object ( our love4 ,if iron & fire 7 end[$ ) reason1 & ! iron c\ld say3 ,draw me6 w\ld n t prove its desire to be id5tifi$ ) ! fire to ! po9t ( %>+ its sub/ance8 ,well1 ?is is precisely my pray]4 ,i ask$ ,jesus to draw me into ! ,fire ( ,8 love1 & to unite me s closely to ,himself t ,he may live & act 9 me4 ,i feel t ! m ! fire ( love consumes my he>t1 s mu* ! m %all ,i say3 ,draw me6 & ! m also w s\ls :o draw ne> me run swiftly 9 ! sweet od\r ( ! ,belov$4 ,yes1 !y w run--we %all all run toge!r1 = s\ls t are on fire c nev] be at re/4 ,!y may inde$1 l ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal51 sit at ! feet ( ,jesus1 li/5+ to ,8 sweet & burn+ words1 b1 ?\gh !y seem to give ,him no?+1 !y give mu* m ?an ,m>?a1 :o busi$ h]self ab\t _m ?+s4 ,x is n ,m>?a's "w t ,our ,"l blames1 b h] ov]-solicitude2 ,8 ,bless$ ,"m humbly occupi$ h]self 9 ! same k9d ( "w :5 %e prep>$ ! meals = ! ,holy ,family4 ,all ! ,sa9ts h und]/ood ?is1 especially ^? :o h illum9$ ! e>? ) ! light ( ,*ri/'s tea*+4 ,0 x n f pray] t ,/4 ,paul1 ,/4 ,augu/9e1 ,/4 ,?omas ,aqu9as1 ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross1 ,/4 ,t]esa1 & s _m o!r fri5ds ( ,god drew t wond]ful sci5ce :i* has en?rall$ ! l(tie/ m9ds8 ,give me a lev] & a fulcrum on :i* to lean x1 said ,ar*im$es1 & ,i w lift ! _w4 ,:at he c\ld n obta9 because 8 reque/ _h only a mat]ial end1 )\t ref]5ce to ,god1 ! ,sa9ts h obta9$ 9 all its fulness4 ,!y lean on ,god ,almighty's p[] itself & _! lev] is ! pray] t inflames ) love's fire4 ,) ?is lev] !y h rais$ ! _w--) ?is lev] ! ,sa9ts ( ! ,*ur* ,militant /ill raise x1 & w raise x to ! end ( "t4 ,de> ,"m1 ,i h /ill to tell y :at ,i und]/& by ! sweet od\r ( ! ,belov$4 ,z ,our ,"l is n[ 9 ,heav51 ,i c only foll[ ,him by ! footpr9ts ,he has left--footpr9ts full ( life1 full ( fragrance4 ,i h only to op5 ! ,holy ,gospels & at once ,i brea! ! p]fume ( ,jesus1 & !n ,i "k :i* way to run2 & x is n to ! fir/ place1 b to ! la/1 t ,i ha/54 ,i leave ! ,ph>isee to g up1 & full ( confid5ce ,i repeat ! humble pray] ( ! ,publican4 ,above all ,i foll[ ,magdal51 = ! amaz+1 r ,i %\ld say1 ! lov+ audacity1 t delights ! ,he>t ( ,jesus1 has ca/ its spell ^u m9e4 ,x is n because ,i h be5 pres]v$ f mortal s9 t ,i lift up my he>t to ,god 9 tru/ & love4 ,i feel t ev5 _h ,i on my consci5ce e crime "o c\ld commit1 ,i %\ld lose no?+ ( my confid5ce3 my he>t brok5 ) sorr[1 ,i w\ld ?r[ myself into ! ,arms ( my ,savi\r4 ,i "k t ,he loves ! ,prodigal ,son1 ,i h he>d ,8 words to ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal51 to ! woman tak5 9 adult]y1 & to ! woman ( ,sam>ia4 ,no "o c\ld fright5 me1 = ,i "k :at to believe conc]n+ ,8 ,m]cy & ,8 ,love4 ,& ,i "k t all t multitude ( s9s w\ld disappe> 9 an in/ant1 ev5 z a drop ( wat] ca/ into a flam+ furnace4 ,x is told 9 ! ,lives ( ! ,fa!rs ( ! ,des]t h[ "o ( !m conv]t$ a public s9n]1 ^: evil de$s 7 ! sc&al ( ! :ole c\ntry4 ,?is wick$ woman1 t\*$ by grace1 foll[$ ! ,sa9t into ! des]t1 !re to p]=m rigor\s p5ance4 ,b on ! fir/ night ( ! j\rney1 be=e ev5 rea*+ ! place ( h] retirem5t1 ! bonds t b\nd h] to e>? 7 brok5 by ! vehem5ce ( h] lov+ sorr[4 ,! holy man1 at ! same in/ant1 saw h] s\l borne by ,angels to ! ,bosom ( ,god4 ,?is is a /rik+ example ( :at ,i want to say1 b ^! ?+s _c be express$4 ,de>e/ ,"m1 if weak & imp]fect s\ls l m9e felt :at ,i feel1 none w\ld despair ( rea*+ ! summit ( ! ,m\nta9 ( ,love1 s9ce ,jesus does n ask = great de$s1 b only = gratitude & self-surr5d]4 ,he says3 ,i w n take ! he-goats f out ( ! flocks1 = all ! bea/s ( ! =e/s are m9e1 ! cattle on ! hills & ! ox54 ,i "k all ! f[ls ( ! air4 ,if ,i 7 hungry1 ,i w\ld n tell !e1 = ! _w is ,m9e1 & ! fulness !re(4 ,%all ,i eat ! fle% ( bullocks1 or %all ,i dr9k ! blood ( goats8 ,(f] to ,god ! sacrifice ( praise & ?anksgiv+4#e ,?is is all ,our ,"l claims f u4 ,he has ne$ ( our love--,he has no ne$ ( our works4 ,! same ,god1 ,:o decl>es t ,he has no ne$ to tell u if ,he be hungry1 did n disda9 to beg a little wat] f ! ,sam>itan woman4 ,he 0 a?ir/1 b :5 ,he said3 ,give me to dr9k1#f ,he1 ! ,creator ( ! ,univ]se1 ask$ = ! love ( ,8 creature4 ,he ?ir/$ = love4 ,& ?is ?ir/ ( ,our ,div9e ,"l 0 ev] on ! increase4 ,among/ ! disciples ( ! _w1 ,he meets ) no?+ b indiff]5ce & +ratitude1 & alas6 among ,8 own1 h[ few he>ts surr5d] !mselves )\t res]ve to ! inf9ite t5d]ness ( ,8 ,love4 ,happy are we :o are privileg$ to und]/& ! inmo/ secrets ( ,our ,div9e ,sp\se4 ,if y1 de> ,"m1 w\ld b set d[n 9 writ+ all y "k1 :at wond]s c\ld y n unfold6 ,b1 l ,our ,bless$ ,lady1 y pref] to keep all ^! ?+s 9 y\r he>t4#g ,to me y say t ,x is hon\rable to reveal & confess ! _w ( ,god4#h ,yet y are "r to keep sil5ce1 = no e>?ly words c convey ! secrets ( ,heav54 ,z = me1 9 spite ( all ,i h writt51 ,i h n z yet begun4 ,i see s _m beautiful horizons1 su* inf9itely v>i$ t9ts1 t ! palette ( ! ,div9e ,pa9t] w alone1 aft] ! d>kness ( ?is life1 be able to supply me ) ! col\rs :]e) ,i may portray ! wond]s t my s\l descries4 ,s9ce1 h[ev]1 y h express$ a desire to p5etrate into ! hidd5 sanctu>y ( my he>t1 & to h 9 writ+ :at 0 ! mo/ consol+ dream ( my life1 ,i w end ?is /ory ( my s\l1 by an act ( ob$i5ce4 ,if y w all[ me1 x is to ,jesus ,i w address myself1 = 9 ?is way ,i %all speak m easily4 ,y may f9d my expressions some:at exagg]at$1 b ,i assure y !re is no exagg]ation 9 my he>t--!re all is calm & peace4 ,o my ,jesus1 :o c say h[ t5d]ly & g5tly ,?\ do/ lead my s\l6 ,! /orm _h rag$ !re ev] s9ce ,ea/]1 ! glori\s fea/ ( ,?y triumph1 until1 9 ! mon? ( ,may1 !re %one ?r\gh ! d>kness ( my night "o bright ray ( grace4 4 4 4 ,my m9d dwelt on my/]i\s dreams s5t sometimes to ,?y fav\r$ ones1 & ,i ?\ght h[ su* a consolation 0 n to be m9e--t = me1 x 0 night1 always ! d>k night4 ,& 9 ! mid/ ( ! /orm ,i fell asleep4 ,! foll[+ day1 ,may #aj1 j at dawn1 ,i dreamt t ,i 0 walk+ 9 a gall]y alone ) ,our ,"m4 ,sudd5ly1 )\t kn[+ h[ !y _h ent]$1 ,i p]ceiv$ ?ree ,c>melites1 9 mantles & long veils1 & ,i knew t !y came f ,heav54 ,ah6 ,i ?\ght1 h[ glad ,i %\ld be if ,i c\ld b look on ! face ( "o ( ^! ,c>melites6 ,&1 z if my wi% _h be5 he>d1 ,i saw ! talle/ ( ! ?ree ,sa9ts advance t[>ds me4 ,an inexpressible joy took possession ( me z %e rais$ h] veil1 & !n cov]$ me ) x4 ,at once ,i recognis$ our ,v5]able ,"m1 ,anne ( ,jesus1 f\ndress ( ! ,c>mel 9 ,france4#i ,h] face 0 beautiful ) an une>?ly beauty2 no rays came f x1 & yet1 9 spite ( ! ?ick veil :i* envelop$ u1 ,i c\ld see x suffus$ by a s(t light1 :i* seem$ to emanate f h] heav5ly c\nt5ance4 ,%e c>ess$ me t5d]ly1 & see+ myself ! object ( su* affection1 ,i made bold to say3 ,de> ,"m1 ,i entreat y1 tell me1 w ,our ,"l leave me mu* long] 9 ?is _w8 ,w ,he n soon come to fet* me8 ,%e smil$ sweetly1 & answ]$1 ,yes1 soon 4 4 4 v soon 4 4 4 ,i promise y4 ,de> ,"m1 ,i ask$ aga91 tell me if ,he does n want m f me ?an ^! poor little acts & desires t ,i (f] ,him4 ,is ,he pleas$ ) me8 ,!n our ,v5]able ,"m's face %one ) a new spl5d\r1 & h] expression became /ill m graci\s3 ,! ,good ,god asks no m ( y1 %e said1 ,he is pleas$1 q pleas$1 &1 tak+ my head betwe5 h] h&s1 %e kiss$ me s t5d]ly t x w\ld be impossible to describe ! joy ,i felt4 ,my he>t 0 ov]fl[+ ) gladness1 &1 rememb]+ my ,si/]s1 ,i 0 ab\t to besee* "s fav\r = !m1 :51 alas6 ,i awoke4 ,my happ9ess 0 too great = words4 ,_m mon?s h pass$ s9ce ,i _h ?is wond]ful dream1 & yet its memory is z fre% & delightful z ev]4 ,i c /ill picture ! lov+ smiles ( ?is holy ,c>melite & feel h] fond c>esses4 ,o ,jesus6 ,?\ did/ comm& ! w9ds & ! /orm1 & !re came a great calm4#aj ,on wak+1 ,i realis$ t ,heav5 does inde$ exi/1 & t ?is ,heav5 is peopl$ ) s\ls :o *]i% me z _! *ild1 & ?is impression /ill rema9s ) me--all ! sweet]1 because1 up to t "t1 ,i _h b little devotion to ! ,v5]able ,"m ,anne ( ,jesus4 ,i _h nev] s\ght h] help1 & b r>ely he>d h] "n4 ,& n[ ,i "k & und]/& h[ con/antly ,i 0 9 h] ?\ghts1 & ! k adds to my love = h] & = all ! de> ones 9 my ,fa!r's ,home4 ,o my ,belov$6 ?is 0 b ! prelude ( graces yet great] :i* ,?\ did/ desire to heap ^u me4 ,let me rem9d ,!e ( !m to-day1 & =give my folly if ,i v5ture to tell ,!e once m ( my hopes1 & my he>t's well nigh inf9ite long+s--=give me & grant my desire1 t x may be well ) my s\l4 ,to be ,?y ,sp\se1 ,o my ,jesus1 to be a daught] ( ,c>mel1 & by my union ) ,!e to be ! "m ( s\ls1 %\ld n all ?is cont5t me8 ,& yet o!r vocations make !mselves felt--,i feel call$ to ! ,prie/hood & to ! ,apo/olate--,i w\ld be a ,m>tyr1 a ,doctor ( ! ,*ur*4 ,i %\ld l to accompli% ! mo/ h]oic de$s--! _s ( ! ,crusad] burns )9 me1 & ,i long to die on ! field ( battle 9 def5ce ( ,holy ,*ur*4 ,! vocation ( a ,prie/6 ,) :at love1 my ,jesus1 w\ld ,i be> ,!e 9 my h&1 :5 my words br\ght ,!e d[n f ,heav56 ,) :at love w\ld ,i give ,!e to s\ls6 ,& yet1 :ile long+ to be a ,prie/1 ,i admire & envy ! humility ( ,/4 ,francis ( ,assisi1 & am drawn to imitate him by refus+ ! sublime dignity ( ! ,prie/hood4 ,h[ reconcile ^! opposite t5d5cies8#aa ,l ! ,prophets & ,doctors1 ,i w\ld be a light unto s\ls1 ,i w\ld travel to e l& to prea* ,?y "n1 ,o my ,belov$1 & raise on hea!n soil ! glori\s /&>d ( ,?y ,cross4 ,"o mission alone w\ld n satisfy my long+s4 ,i w\ld spread ! ,gospel to ! ends ( ! e>?1 ev5 to ! mo/ di/ant isles4 ,i w\ld be a ,mission>y1 n = a few ye>s only1 b1 7 x possible1 f ! beg9n+ ( ! _w till ! consummation ( "t4 ,above all1 ,i ?ir/ = ! ,m>tyr's cr[n4 ,x 0 ! desire ( my e>lie/ days1 & ! desire has deep5$ ) ! ye>s pass$ 9 ! ,c>mel's n>r[ cell4 ,b ?is too is folly1 s9ce ,i d n sigh = "o torm5t2 ,i ne$ !m all to slake my ?ir/4 ,l ,!e1 ,o ,adorable ,sp\se1 ,i w\ld be sc\rg$1 ,i w\ld be crucifi$6 ,i w\ld be flay$ l ,/4 ,b>?olomew1 plung$ into boil+ oil l ,/4 ,john1 or1 l ,/4 ,ignatius ( ,antio*1 gr\nd by ! tee? ( wild bea/s into a bread wor?y ( ,god4#ab ,) ,/4 ,agnes & ,/4 ,cecilia ,i w\ld (f] my neck to ! sword ( ! execution]1 & l ,joan ( ,arc ,i w\ld murmur ! "n ( ,jesus at ! /ake4 ,my he>t ?rills at ! ?\ght ( ! frightful tortures ,*ri/ians are to suff] at ! "t ( ,anti-,*ri/1 & ,i long to und]go !m all4 ,op51 ,o ,jesus1 ! ,book ( ,life1 9 :i* are writt5 ! de$s ( ,?y ,sa9ts3 all ! de$s told 9 t book ,i long to h accompli%$ = ,!e4 ,to su* folly z ?is :at answ] wilt ,?\ make8 ,is !re on ! face ( ?is e>? a s\l m feeble ?an m9e8 ,& yet1 precisely because ,i am feeble1 x has delight$ ,!e to acc$e to my lea/ & mo/ *ild-l desires1 & to-day x is ,?y good pleasure to realise ^? o!r desires1 m va/ ?an ! ,univ]se4 ,^! aspirations becom+ a true m>tyrdom1 ,i op5$1 "o day1 ! ,epi/les ( ,/4 ,paul to seek relief 9 my suff]+s4 ,my eyes fell on ! #ab? & #ac? *apt]s ( ! ,fir/ ,epi/le to ! ,cor9?ians4 ,i read t all _c become ,apo/les1 ,prophets1 & ,doctors2 t ! ,*ur* is compos$ ( diff]5t memb]s2 t ! eye _c also be ! h&4 ,! answ] 0 cle>1 b x did n fulfill my desires1 or give to me ! peace ,i s\ght4 ,!n desc5d+ into ! dep?s ( my no?+ness1 ,i 0 s lift$ up t ,i rea*$ my aim4#ac ,)\t be+ disc\rag$ ,i read on1 & f\nd com=t 9 ?is c\nsel3 ,be zeal\s = ! bett] gifts4 ,& ,i %[ unto y a yet m excell5t way4#ad ,! ,apo/le !n expla9s h[ all p]fect gifts are no?+ )\t ,love1 t ,*>ity is ! mo/ excell5t way ( go+ surely to ,god4 ,at la/ ,i _h f\nd re/4 ,m$itat+ on ! my/ical ,body ( ,holy ,*ur*1 ,i c\ld n recognise myself among any ( its memb]s z describ$ by ,/4 ,paul1 or 0 x n r t ,i wi%$ to recognise myself 9 all8 ,*>ity provid$ me ) ! key to my vocation4 ,i und]/ood t s9ce ! ,*ur* is a body compos$ ( diff]5t memb]s1 ! noble/ & mo/ important ( all ! organs w\ld n be want+4 ,i knew t ! ,*ur* has a he>t1 t ?is he>t burns ) love1 & t x is love alone :i* gives life to its memb]s4 ,i knew t if ?is love 7 ext+ui%$1 ! ,apo/les w\ld no long] prea* ! ,gospel1 & ! ,m>tyrs w\ld refuse to %$ _! blood4 ,i und]/ood t love embraces all vocations1 t x is all ?+s1 & t x rea*es out ?r\gh all ! ages1 & to ! utt]mo/ limits ( ! e>?1 because x is et]nal4 ,!n1 beside myself ) joy1 ,i cri$ out3 ,o ,jesus1 my ,love1 at la/ ,i h f\nd my vocation4 ,my vocation is love6 ,yes1 ,i h f\nd my place 9 ! bosom ( ! ,*ur*1 & ?is place1 ,o my ,god1 ,?\ ha/ ,?yself giv5 to me3 9 ! he>t ( ! ,*ur*1 my ,"m1 ,i w be ,,love6 4 4 4 ,?us ,i %all be all ?+s3 ?us w my dream be realis$4 4 4 4 ,:y d ,i say ,i am beside myself ) joy8 ,?is does n convey my ?\ght4 ,r is x peace :i* has become my portion--! calm peace ( ! sailor :5 he cat*es sight ( ! beacon :i* lights him to port4 ,o lum9\s ,beacon ( ,love6 ,i "k h[ to come ev5 unto ,!e1 ,i h f\nd ! means ( borr[+ ,?y ,fires4 ,i am b a weak & helpless *ild1 yet x is my v weakness :i* makes me d>e to (f] myself1 ,o ,jesus1 z victim to ,?y ,love4 ,9 old5 days pure & spotless holocau/s alone 7 acceptable to ! ,omnipot5t ,god4 ,nor c\ld ,8 ,ju/ice be appeas$1 save by ! mo/ p]fect sacrifices4 ,b ! law ( fe> has giv5 place to ! law ( love1 & ,love has *os5 me1 a weak & imp]fect creature1 z its victim4 ,is n su* a *oice wor?y ( ,god's ,love8 ,yea1 = 9 ord] t ,love may be fully satisfi$1 x mu/ /oop ev5 unto no?+ness1 & mu/ trans=m t no?+ness into fire4 ,o my ,god1 ,i "k x--,love is repaid by love alone4#ae ,!re=e ,i h s\ght1 ,i h f\nd1 h[ to ease my he>t1 by r5d]+ ,!e love = love4 ,use ! ri*es t make m5 unju/1 to f9d y fri5ds :o may receive y into ev]la/+ dwell+s4#af ,?is1 ,o ,"l1 is ! advice ,?\ gave/ to ,?y disciples aft] compla9+ t ! *ildr5 ( ?is _w are wis] 9 _! g5]ation ?an ! *ildr5 ( light4#ag ,*ild ( light1 z ,i am1 ,i und]/ood t my desires to be all ?+s1 & to embrace all vocations1 7 ri*es t might well make me unju/2 s ,i set to "w to use !m = ! mak+ ( fri5ds4 ,m9dful ( ! pray] ( ,eliseus :5 he ask$ ! ,prophet ,elias = 8 d\ble _s1 ,i pres5t$ myself be=e ! company ( ! ,angels & ,sa9ts & address$ !m ?us3 ,i am ! lea/ ( all creatures4 ,i "k my mean e/ate1 b ,i "k t noble & g5]\s he>ts love to d good4 ,!re=e1 ,o ,bless$ ,inhabitants ( ! ,cele/ial ,city1 ,i entreat y to adopt me z y\r *ild4 ,all ! glory t y help me to acquire1 w be y\rs2 only deign to he> my pray]1 & obta9 = me a d\ble portion ( ! love ( ,god4 ,o my ,god6 ,i _c measure ! ext5t ( my reque/1 ,i %\ld fe> to be cru%$ by ! v weight ( its audacity4 ,my only excuse is my claim to *ildhood1 & t *ildr5 d n grasp ! full mean+ ( _! words4 ,yet if a fa!r or "m 7 on ! ?rone & possess$ va/ treasures1 !y w\ld n hesitate to grant ! desires ( ^? little ones1 m de> to !m ?an life itself4 ,to give !m pleasure !y w /oop ev5 unto folly4 ,well1 ,i am a *ild ( ,holy ,*ur*1 & ! ,*ur* is a ,que51 because %e is n[ esp\s$ to ! ,div9e ,k+ ( ,k+s4 ,i ask n = ri*es or glory1 n ev5 ! glory ( ,heav5--t belongs by "r to my bro!rs ! ,angels & ,sa9ts1 & my own glory %all be ! radiance t /reams f ! que5ly br[ ( my ,"m1 ! ,*ur*4 ,nay1 ,i ask = ,love4 ,to love ,!e1 ,jesus1 is n[ my only desire4 ,great de$s are n = me2 ,i _c prea* ! ,gospel or %$ my blood4 ,no matt]6 ,my bro!rs "w 9 my /ead1 & ,i1 a little *ild1 /ay close to ! ?rone1 & love ,!e = all :o are 9 ! /rife4 ,b h[ %all ,i %[ my love1 s9ce love proves itself by de$s8 ,well6 ,! little *ild w /rew fl[]s 4 4 4 %e w embrace ! ,div9e ,?rone ) _! fragrance1 %e w s+ ,love's ,canticle 9 silv]y tones4 ,yes1 my ,belov$1 x is ?us my %ort life %all be sp5t 9 ,?y sight4 ,! only way ,i h ( prov+ my love is to /rew fl[]s be=e ,!e--t is to say1 ,i w let no t9y sacrifice pass1 no look1 no ^w4 ,i wi% to pr(it by ! smalle/ actions1 & to d !m = ,love4 ,i wi% to suff] = ,love's sake1 & = ,love's sake ev5 to rejoice3 ?us %all ,i /rew fl[]s4 ,n "o %all ,i f9d )\t scatt]+ its petals be=e ,!e 4 4 4 & ,i w s+ 4 4 4 ,i w s+ always1 ev5 if my roses mu/ be ga!r$ f amid/ ?orns2 & ! long] & %>p] ! ?orns1 ! sweet] %all be my song4 ,b ( :at avail to !e1 my ,jesus1 are my fl[]s & my songs8 ,i "k x well3 ?is fragrant %[]1 ^! delicate petals ( little price1 ^! songs ( love f a poor little he>t l m9e1 w nev]!less be pleas+ unto ,!e4 ,trifles !y are1 b ,?\ wilt smile on !m4 ,! ,*ur* ,triumphant1 /oop+ t[>ds h] *ild1 w ga!r up ^! scatt]$ rose leaves1 &1 plac+ !m 9 ,?y ,div9e ,h&s1 !re to acquire an inf9ite value1 w %[] !m on ! ,*ur* ,suff]+ to ext+ui% its flames1 & on ! ,*ur* ,militant to obta9 its victory4 ,o my ,jesus1 ,i love ,!e6 ,i love my ,"m1 ! ,*ur*2 ,i be> 9 m9d t ! lea/ act ( pure love is ( m value to h] ?an all o!r works toge!r4#ah ,b is ?is pure love really 9 my he>t8 ,are n my b\ndless desires b dreams--b fooli%ness8 ,if ?is be s1 ,i besee* ,!e to enlight5 me2 ,?\ kn[e/ ,i seek b ! tru?4 ,if my desires be ra%1 !n deliv] me f !m1 & f ?is mo/ griev\s ( all m>tyrdoms4 ,& yet ,i confess1 if ,i rea* n ^? heights to :i* my s\l aspires1 ?is v m>tyrdom1 ?is fooli%ness1 w h be5 sweet] to me ?an et]nal bliss w be1 unless by a miracle ,?\ %\ld/ take f me all memory ( ! hopes ,i ent]ta9$ ^u e>?4 ,jesus1 ,jesus6 ,if ! m]e desire ( ,?y ,love awak5s su* delight1 :at w x be to possess x1 to enjoy x = ev]8 ,h[ c a s\l s imp]fect z m9e aspire to ! pl5itude ( ,love8 ,:at is ! key ( ?is my/]y8 ,o my only ,fri5d1 :y do/ ,?\ n res]ve ^! inf9ite long+s to l(ty s\ls1 to ! eagles t so> 9 ! heights8 ,alas6 ,i am b a poor little unfl$g$ bird4 ,i am n an eagle1 ,i h b ! eagle's eyes & he>t6 ,yet1 not)/&+ my exce$+ littleless1 ,i d>e to gaze ^u ! ,div9e ,sun ( ,love1 & ,i burn to d>t upw>ds unto ,him6 ,i w\ld fly1 ,i w\ld imitate ! eagles2 b all t ,i c d is to lift up my little w+s--x is beyond my feeble p[] to so>4 ,:at is to become ( me8 ,mu/ ,i die ( sorr[ because ( my helplessness8 ,oh1 no6 ,i w n ev5 grieve4 ,) d>+ self-ab&onm5t !re w ,i rema9 until dea?1 my gaze fix$ ^u t ,div9e ,sun4 ,no?+ %all affright me1 nor w9d nor ra94 ,& %\ld imp5etrable cl\ds conceal ! ,orb ( ,love1 & %\ld ,i seem to believe t beyond ?is life !re is d>kness only1 t w\ld be ! h\r ( p]fect joy1 ! h\r 9 :i* to pu% my confid5ce to its utt]mo/ b\nds4 ,i %\ld n d>e to deta* my gaze1 well kn[+ t beyond ! d>k cl\ds ! sweet ,sun /ill %9es4 ,s f>1 ,o my ,god1 ,i und]/& ,?y ,love = me4 ,b ,?\ kn[e/ h[ (t5 ,i =get ?is1 my only c>e4 ,i /ray f ,?y side1 & my sc>cely fl$g$ w+s become draggl$ 9 ! muddy pools ( e>?2 !n ,i lam5t l a "y swall[1#ai & my lam5t tells ,!e all1 & ,i rememb]1 ,o ,inf9ite ,m]cy6 t ,?\ did/ n come to call ! j1 b s9n]s4#bj ,yet %\ld/ ,?\ /ill be deaf to ! pla9tive cries ( ,?y feeble creature1 %\ld/ ,?\ /ill be veil$1 !n ,i am cont5t to rema9 b5umb$ ) cold1 my w+s b$raggl$1 & once m ,i rejoice 9 ?is well-des]v$ suff]+4 ,o ,sun1 my only ,love1 ,i am happy to feel myself s small1 s frail 9 ,?y sun%9e1 & ,i am 9 peace 4 4 4 ,i "k t all ! eagles ( ,?y ,cele/ial ,c\rt h pity on me1 !y gu>d & def5d me1 !y put to flight ! vultures--! demons t fa9 w\ld dev\r me4 ,i fe> !m n1 ^! demons1 ,i am n de/9$ to be _! prey1 b ! prey ( ! ,div9e ,eagle4 ,o ,et]nal ,^w6 ,o my ,savi\r6 ,?\ art ! ,div9e ,eagle ,:om ,i love--,:o lure/ me4 ,?\ ,:o1 desc5d+ to ?is l& ( exile1 did/ w to suff] & to die1 9 ord] to be> away ! s\ls ( m5 & plunge !m into ! v he>t ( ! ,bless$ ,tr9ity--,love's ,et]nal ,home6 ,?\ ,:o1 reasc5d+ into inaccessible light1 do/ /ill rema9 conceal$ "h 9 our vale ( te>s "u ! sn[-:ite semblance ( ! ,ho/1 & ?is1 to n\ri% me ) ,?9e own sub/ance6 ,o ,jesus6 =give me if ,i tell ,!e t ,?y ,love rea*e? ev5 unto folly4 ,& 9 face ( ?is folly1 :at wilt ,?\1 b t my he>t leap up to ,!e8 ,h[ c\ld my tru/ h any limits8 ,i "k t ! ,sa9ts h made !mselves z fools = ,?y sake2 be+ 'eagles1' !y h done great ?+s4 ,i am too little = great ?+s1 & my folly x is to hope t ,?y ,love accepts me z victim2 my folly x is to c\nt on ! aid ( ,angels & ,sa9ts1 9 ord] t ,i may fly unto ,!e ) ?9e own w+s1 ,o my ,div9e ,eagle6 ,= z long a "t z ,?\ wille/ ,i %all rema9--my eyes fix$ ^u ,!e4 ,i long to be allur$ by ,?y ,div9e ,eyes2 ,i w\ld become ,love's prey4 ,i h ! hope t ,?\ wilt "o day swoop d[n ^u me1 &1 be>+ me away to ! ,s\rce ( all ,love1 ,?\ wilt plunge me at la/ into t gl[+ abyss1 t ,i may become = ev] its happy ,victim4 ,o ,jesus6 w\ld t ,i c\ld tell all little s\ls ( ,?9e ineffable condesc5sion6 ,i feel t if by any possibility ,?\ c\ld/ f9d "o weak] ?an my own1 ,?\ w\ld/ take delight 9 load+ h] ) /ill great] fav\rs1 provid$ t %e ab&on$ h]self ) entire confid5ce to ,?9e ,inf9ite ,m]cy4 ,b1 ,o my ,sp\se1 :y ^! desires ( m9e to make kn[n ! secrets ( ,?y ,love8 ,is x n ,?yself alone ,:o ha/ taught !m to me1 & can/ ,?\ n unveil !m to o!rs8 ,yea6 ,i "k x1 & ?is ,i implore ,!e6 4 4 4 ,i ,,entreat ,,!e ,,to ,,let ,,?y ,,div9e ,,eyes ,,re/ ,,^u ,a ,,va/ ,,numb] ,,( ,,little ,,s\ls1 ,i ,,entreat ,,!e ,,to ,,*oose1 ,,9 ,,?is ,,_w1 ,a ,,legion ,,( ,,little ,,victims ,,( ,,?y ,,love4 #a ,cant4 #a3c4 #b ,cf4 ,john #ag4 #c ,luke #ae3ca4 #d ,john #f3dd4 #e ,ps4 #diej3i-ad4 #f ,john #d3g4 #g ,cf4 ,luke #b3ai4 #h ,tob4 #ab3g4 #i ,! ,v5]able ,"m ,anne ( ,jesus--9 ! _w1 ,anne ( ,lob]a--0 born 9 ,spa9 9 #aede4 ,%e ent]$ ! ,c>melite ,ord] 9 #aegj1 9 ! fir/ conv5t ( ,/4 ,joseph ( ,avila1 & %ortly aft]w>ds became ! c\nsellor & coadjutor ( ,/4 ,t]esa1 :o call$ h]1 h] daught] & h] cr[n4 ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross1 :o 0 h] spiritual director = f\rte5 ye>s1 describ$ h] z a s]aph inc>nate1 & h] prud5ce & sanctity 7 held 9 su* e/eem t ! mo/ le>n$ m5 consult$ h] 9 _! d\bts1 & accept$ h] answ]s z oracles4 ,%e 0 always fai?ful to ! _s ( ,/4 ,t]esa1 & _h receiv$ f ,heav5 ! mission to re/ore ! ,c>mel to its primitive p]fection4 ,hav+ f\nd$ ?ree conv5ts ( ! ,re=m 9 ,spa91 %e e/abli%$ "o 9 ,france1 & ano!r 9 ,belgium4 ,%e di$ 9 ! odor ( sanctity 9 ! ,c>mel ( ,brussels on ,m>* #d1 #afba4 ,on ,may #c1 #ahgh1 ,8 ,hol9ess ,pope ,leo ,,xiii sign$ ! ,decree introduc+ ! ,cause ( h] ,beatification4 #aj ,matt4 #h3aj4 #aa ,/4 ,francis ( ,assisi1 out ( humility1 refus$ to accept ! sublime dignity ( ! ,prie/hood1 & rema9$ a ,deacon until 8 dea?4 ,ed4 #ab ,an allusion to ! beautiful words ( ! m>tyr ,/4 ,ignatius ( ,antio*1 utt]$ :5 he he>d ! ro> ( ! lions 9 ! ,roman ar5a4 ,i am ! :eat ( ,*ri/2 let me be gr\nd by ! tee? ( ! wild bea/s1 t ,i may become clean bread4 ,ed4 #ac ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross4 #ad #a ,cor4 #ab3ca4 #ae ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross4 #af ,cf4 ,luke #af3i4 #ag ,luke #af3h4 #ah ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross4 #ai ,isa4 #ch3ad4 #bj ,matt4 #i3ae4 ,,end ,,( ,,! ,,autobiography ,,epilogue3 ,a ,,victim ,,( ,,div9e ,,love ,_m pages ( ?is /ory--said its writ]--w nev] be read ^u e>?4 ,x is necess>y to repeat & emphasize h] words4 ,!re are suff]+s :i* are n to be disclos$ "h bel[2 ,our ,"l has jeal\sly res]v$ to ,himself ! "r to reveal _! m]it & glory1 9 ! cle> vision :]e all veils %all be remov$4 ,my ,god1 %e cri$ on ! day ( h] religi\s pr(ession1 give me m>tyrdom ( s\l or body 4 4 4 or r give me bo? ! "o & ! o!r6 ,& ,our ,"l ,:o1 z %e h]self av[$1 fulfill$ all h] desires1 grant$ ?is "o also1 & 9 m abundant measure ?an ! re/4 ,he caus$ ! floods ( inf9ite t5d]ness p5t up 9 ,8 ,div9e ,he>t to ov]fl[ into ! s\l ( ,8 little ,sp\se4 ,?is 0 ! ,m>tyrdom ( ,love1 s well describ$ 9 h] melodi\s song4 ,b x 0 h] own doctr9e t1 to d$icate oneself z a ,victim ( ,love is n to be d$icat$ to sweetness & consolations2 x is to (f] oneself to all t is pa9ful & bitt]1 because ,love lives only by sacrifice 4 4 4 & ! m we w\ld surr5d] ourselves to ,love1 ! m we mu/ surr5d] ourselves to suff]+4 ,!re=e1 because %e desir$ to atta9 ! l(tie/ height ( ,love1 ! ,div9e ,ma/] l$ h] ?i!r by ! rugg$ pa? ( sorr[1 & x 0 only on its bleak summit t %e di$ a ,victim ( ,love4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,we h se5 h[ great 0 h] sacrifice 9 leav+ h] happy home & ! ,fa!r :o lov$ h] s t5d]ly4 ,x may be imag9$ t ?is sacrifice 0 s(t5$1 because at ! ,c>mel %e f\nd aga9 h] two eld] & de>ly lov$ si/]s4 ,on ! contr>y1 ?is af=d$ ! "y po/ulant _m an occasion = repress+ h] /rong natural affections4 ,! rules ( solitude & sil5ce 7 /rictly obs]v$1 & %e only saw h] si/]s at recreation4 ,_h %e be5 less mortifi$1 %e might (t5 h sat beside !m1 b by pref]5ce %e s\ght out ! company ( ^? religi\s :o 7 lea/ agreeable to h]1 & no "o c\ld tell :e!r or n %e bore a special affection t[>ds h] own si/]s4 ,"s "t aft] h] entrance1 %e 0 appo9t$ z aid to ,si/] ,agnes ( ,jesus1 h] de> ,paul9e2 ?is 0 a fre% occasion = sacrifice4 ,?rse knew t all unnecess>y conv]sation 0 =bidd51 & !re=e %e nev] all[$ h]self ev5 ! lea/ ^w4 ,o my little ,"m1 %e said lat]1 h[ ,i suff]$6 ,i c\ld n op5 my he>t to y1 & ,i ?\ght y no long] knew me6 ,aft] five ye>s ( ?is h]oic sil5ce1 ,si/] ,agnes ( ,jesus 0 elect$ ,prioress4 ,on ! ev5+ ( ! election ,?rse might well h rejoic$ t h5ce=? %e c\ld speak freely to h] little ,"m1 &1 z ( old1 p\r out h] s\l4 ,b sacrifice _h become h] daily food4 ,if %e s\ght "o fav\r m ?an ano!r1 x 0 t %e might be look$ on z ! l[e/ & ! lea/2 &1 among all ! religi\s1 n "o saw less ( ! ,"m ,prioress4 ,%e desir$ to live ! life ( ,c>mel ) all ! p]fection requir$ by ,/4 ,t]esa1 &1 al?\gh a m>tyr to habitual dryness1 h] pray] 0 cont9u\s4 ,on "o occasion a novice1 ent]+ h] cell1 0 /ruck by ! heav5ly expression ( h] c\nt5ance4 ,%e 0 sew+ indu/ri\sly1 & yet seem$ lo/ 9 deep contemplation4 ,:at are y ?9k+ (8 ! "y ,si/] ask$4 ,i am m$itat+ on ! ',our ,fa!r1' ,?rse answ]$4 ,x is s sweet to call ,god1 ',our ,fa!r6' 4 4 4 & te>s gli/5$ 9 h] eyes4 ,ano!r "t %e said1 ,i _c well see :at m ,i %all h 9 ,heav5 ?an ,i h n[2 ,i %all see ,god1 x is true1 b1 z to be+ ) ,him1 ,i am t already ev5 on e>?4 ,! flame ( ,div9e ,love consum$ h]1 & ?is is :at %e h]self relates3 ,a few days aft] ! oblation ( myself to ,god's ,m]ciful ,love1 ,i 0 9 ! *oir1 beg9n+ ! ,way ( ! ,cross1 :5 ,i felt myself sudd5ly w\nd$ by a d>t ( fire s ard5t t ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld die4 ,i d n "k h[ to expla9 ?is transport2 !re is no comp>ison to describe ! int5sity ( t flame4 ,x seem$ z ?\gh an invisible =ce plung$ me :olly into fire4 4 4 4 ,b oh6 :at fire6 :at sweetness6 ,:5 ,"m ,prioress ask$ h] if ?is rapture 0 ! fir/ %e _h exp]i5c$1 %e answ]$ simply3 ,de> ,"m1 ,i h _h sev]al transports ( love1 & "o 9 p>ticul> dur+ my ,noviciate1 :5 ,i rema9$ = a :ole week f> remov$ f ?is _w4 ,x seem$ z ?\gh a veil 7 ?r[n ov] all e>?ly ?+s4 ,b1 ,i 0 n !n consum$ by a real fire4 ,i 0 able to be> ^? transports ( love )\t expect+ to see ! ties t b\nd me to e>? give way2 :il/1 on ! day ( :i* ,i n[ speak1 "o m9ute--"o second--m & my s\l mu/ h be5 set free4 ,alas6 ,i f\nd myself aga9 on e>?1 & dryness at once return$ to my he>t4 ,true1 ! ,div9e ,h& _h )drawn ! fi]y d>t--b ! w\nd 0 unto dea?6 ,9 t close union ) ,god1 ,?rse acquir$ a rem>kable ma/]y ov] self4 ,all sweet virtues fl\ri%$ 9 ! g>d5 ( h] s\l1 b d n let u imag9e t ^! wondr\s fl[]s grew )\t ef=t on h] "p4 ,9 ?is _w !re is no fruitfulness )\t suff]+--ei!r physical pa91 secret sorr[1 or trials kn[n sometimes only to ,god4 ,:5 good ?\ghts & g5]\s resolutions h sprung up 9 our s\ls ?r\gh read+ ! lives ( ! ,sa9ts1 we ought n to cont5t ourselves1 z 9 ! case ( pr(ane books1 ) pay+ a c]ta9 tribute ( admiration to ! g5ius ( _! au?ors--we %\ld r consid] ! price :i*1 d\btless1 !y h paid = t sup]natural good !y h produc$4#a ,&1 if to-day ,?rse trans=ms s _m he>ts1 & ! good %e does on e>? is beyond reckon+1 we may well believe %e b\ght x all at ! price ) :i* ,jesus b\ght back our s\ls3 by suff]+ & ! ,cross6 ,n ! lea/ ( ^! suff]+s 0 ! unceas+ w> %e wag$ aga9/ h]self1 refus+ e satisfaction to ! dem&s ( h] naturally pr\d & impetu\s nature4 ,:ile /ill a *ild %e _h acquir$ ! habit ( nev] excus+ h]self or mak+ a compla9t2 at ! ,c>mel %e /rove to be ! little s]vant ( h] ,si/]s 9 religion1 & 9 t same _s ( humility %e endeav\r$ to obey all )\t di/9ction4 ,"o ev5+1 dur+ h] illness1 ! ,community _h assembl$ 9 ! g>d5 to s+ a hymn be=e an ,alt> ( ! ,sacr$ ,he>t4 ,soeur ,?rse1 :o 0 already wa/$ by fev]1 jo9$ !m ) difficulty1 &1 arriv+ q exhau/$1 0 oblig$ to sit d[n at once4 ,:5 ! hymn began1 "o ( ! ,si/]s made h] a sign to /& up4 ,)\t hesitation1 ! humble *ild rose1 &1 9 spite ( ! fev] & great oppression f :i* %e 0 suff]+1 rema9$ /&+ to ! end4 ,! ,infirm>ian _h advis$ h] to take a little walk 9 ! g>d5 = a qu>t] ( an h\r ea* day4 ,?is recomm5dation 0 = h] a comm&4 ,"o aft]noon a ,si/]1 notic+ :at an ef=t x co/ h]1 said3 ,soeur ,?rse1 y w\ld d mu* bett] to re/2 walk+ l ?is _c d y any good4 ,y only tire y\rself6 ,t is true1 %e repli$1 b1 d y "k :at gives me /r5g?8 ,i (f] ea* /ep = "s mission>y4 ,i ?9k t possibly1 ov] !re1 f> away1 "o ( !m is we>y & tir$ 9 8 apo/olic lab\rs1 & to less5 8 fatigue ,i (f] m9e to ! ,good ,god4 ,%e gave h] novices "s beautiful examples ( deta*m5t4 ,"o ye> ! relations ( ! ,si/]s & ! s]vants ( ! ,conv5t _h s5t b\quets ( fl[]s = ,"m ,prioress's fea/4 ,?rse 0 arrang+ !m mo/ ta/efully1 :5 a ,lay-si/] said crossly3 ,x is easy to see t ! l>ge b\quets h be5 giv5 by y\r fri5ds4 ,i suppose ^? s5t by ! poor w aga9 be put 9 ! backgr\nd6 4 4 4 ,a sweet smile 0 ! only reply1 & not)/&+ ! unpleas+ effect1 %e imm$iately put ! fl[]s s5t by ! s]vants 9 ! mo/ conspicu\s place4 ,/ruck ) admiration1 ! ,lay-si/] w5t at once to ! ,prioress to accuse h]self ( h] unk9dness1 & to praise ! pati5ce & humility %[n by ,soeur ,?rse4 ,aft] ! dea? ( ,?rse t same ,si/]1 full ( confid5ce1 press$ h] =ehead aga9/ ! feet ( ! sa9tly nun1 once m ask+ =giv5ess = h] fault4 ,at ! same in/ant %e felt h]self cur$ ( c]ebral anmia1 f :i* %e _h suff]$ = _m ye>s1 & :i* _h prev5t$ h] f apply+ h]self ei!r to read+ or m5tal pray]4 ,f> f avoid+ humiliations1 ,soeur ,?rse s\ght !m eag]ly1 & = t reason %e (f]$ h]self z aid to a ,si/] :o1 %e well knew1 0 difficult to please1 & h] g5]\s proposal 0 accept$4 ,"o day1 :5 %e _h suff]$ mu* f ?is ,si/]1 a novice ask$ h] :y %e look$ s happy4 ,great 0 h] surprise on receiv+ ! reply3 ,x is because ,si/] ,n4 has j be5 say+ disagreeable ?+s to me4 ,:at pleasure %e has giv5 me6 ,i wi% ,i c\ld meet h] n[1 & give h] a sweet smile4 4 4 4 ,z %e 0 /ill speak+1 ! ,si/] 9 "q knock$ at ! door1 & ! a/oni%$ novice c\ld see = h]self h[ ! ,sa9ts =give4 ,soeur ,?rse ackn[l$g$ lat] on1 %e so>$ s high above e>?ly ?+s t humiliations did b make h] /rong]4 ,to all ^! virtues %e jo9$ a wond]ful c\rage4 ,f h] entrance into ! ,c>mel1 at ! age ( fifte51 %e 0 all[$ to foll[ all ! practices ( its au/]e ,rule1 ! fa/s alone except$4 ,sometimes h] companions 9 ! noviciate1 see+ h[ pale %e look$1 tri$ to obta9 a disp5sation = h]1 ei!r f ! ,night ,(fice1 or f ris+ at ! usual h\r 9 ! morn+1 b ! ,"m ,prioress w\ld nev] yield to ^! reque/s4 ,a s\l ( su* mettle1 %e w\ld say1 ought n to be dealt ) z a *ild2 disp5sations are n meant = h]4 ,let h] be1 = ,god su/a9s h]4 ,besides1 if %e is really ill1 %e %\ld come & tell me h]self4#b ,b x 0 always a pr9ciple ) ,?rse t ,we %\ld g to ! end ( our /r5g? be=e we compla94 ,h[ _m times did %e assi/ at ,mat9s suff]+ f v]tigo or viol5t heada*es6 ,i am able to walk1 %e w\ld say1 & s ,i ought to be at my duty4 ,&1 ?anks to ?is undaunt$ en]gy1 %e p]=m$ acts t 7 h]oic4 ,x 0 ) difficulty t h] delicate /oma* accu/om$ itself to ! frugal f>e ( ! ,c>mel4 ,c]ta9 ?+s made h] ill1 b %e knew s well h[ to hide ?is1 t no "o ev] suspect$ x4 ,h] neighb\r at table said t %e _h tri$ 9 va9 to discov] ! di%es t %e pref]r$1 & ! kit*5 ,si/]s1 f9d+ h] s easy to please1 inv>iably s]v$ h] ) :at 0 left4 ,x 0 only dur+ h] la/ illness1 :5 %e 0 ord]$ to say :at disagre$ ) h]1 t h] mortifications came to light4 ,:5 ,jesus wi%es u to suff]1 %e said at t "t1 !re c be no evad+ x4 ,& s1 :5 ,si/] ,m>y ( ! ,sacr$ ,he>t#c 0 procuratrix1 %e endeav\r$ to look aft] me ) a "m's t5d]ness4 ,to all appe>ances1 ,i 0 well c>$ =1 & yet :at mortifications did %e n impose ^u me6 = %e s]v$ me accord+ to h] own ta/e1 :i* 0 entirely oppos$ to m9e4 ,?rse's _s ( sacrifice 0 f>-rea*+2 %e eag]ly s\ght :at 0 pa9ful & disagreeable1 z h] rightful %>e4 ,all t ,god ask$ %e gave ,him )\t hesitation or res]ve4 ,dur+ my po/ulancy1 %e said1 x co/ me a great deal to p]=m c]ta9 ext]ior p5ances1 cu/om>y 9 our conv5ts1 b ,i nev] yield$ to ^! repugnances2 x seem$ to me t ! image ( my ,crucifi$ ,"l look$ at me ) besee*+ eyes1 & begg$ ^! sacrifices4 ,h] vigilance 0 s ke51 t %e nev] left unobs]v$ any little recomm5dations ( ! ,"m ,prioress1 or any ( ! small rules :i* r5d] ! religi\s life s m]itori\s4 ,"o ( ! old nuns1 hav+ rem>k$ h] extraord9>y fidelity on ?is po9t1 ev] aft]w>ds reg>d$ h] z a ,sa9t4 ,soeur ,?rse 0 accu/om$ to say t %e nev] did any great p5ances4 ,t 0 because h] f]v\r c\nt$ z no?+ ! few t 7 all[$ h]4 ,x happ5$1 h[ev]1 t %e fell ill ?r\gh we>+ = too long a "t a small iron ,cross1 /udd$ ) %>p po9ts1 t press$ into h] fle%4 ,su* a trifle w\ld n h caus$ ?is1 %e said aft]w>ds1 if ,god _h n wi%$ ?us to make me und]/& t ! great] au/]ities ( ! ,sa9ts are n meant = me--nor = ! s\ls t walk 9 ! pa? ( 'spiritual *ildhood4' 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,! s\ls t are ! mo/ de> to ,my ,fa!r1 ,our ,"l once said to ,sa9t ,t]esa1 are ^? ,he tries ! mo/1 & ! greatness ( _! trials is ! measure ( ,8 ,love4 ,?rse 0 a s\l mo/ de> to ,god1 & ,he 0 ab\t to fill up ! measure ( ,8 ,love by mak+ h] pass ?r\gh a v]itable m>tyrdom4 ,! read] w rememb] ! call on ,good ,friday1 ,april #c1 #ahif1 :51 to use h] own expression1 %e he>d ! di/ant murmur :i* ann\nc$ ! approa* ( ! ,bridegroom2 b %e _h /ill to endure long mon?s ( pa9 be=e ! bless$ h\r ( h] deliv]ance4 ,on ! morn+ ( t ,good ,friday1 %e made s little ( ! hmorrhage ( ! previ\s night1 t ,"m ,prioress all[$ h] to practise all ! p5ances prescrib$ by ! ,rule = t day4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 a novice saw h] clean+ w9d[s4 ,h] face 0 livid1 &1 9 spite ( h] great en]gy1 x 0 evid5t t h] /r5g? 0 almo/ sp5t4 ,see+ h] fatigue1 ! novice1 :o lov$ h] de>ly1 bur/ into te>s1 & begg$ leave to obta9 h] "s little reprieve4 ,b ! "y novice-mi/ress /rictly =bade h]1 say+ t %e 0 q able to be> ?is slight fatigue on ! day on :i* ,jesus _h suff]$ & di$4 ,soon a p]si/5t c\gh made ! ,"m ,prioress feel anxi\s2 %e ord]$ ,soeur ,?rse a m /r5g!n+ diet1 & ! c\gh ceas$ = "s "t4 ,truly sickness is too sl[ a lib]ator1 exclaim$ our de> little ,si/]1 ,i c only rely ^u ,love4 ,%e 0 /rongly tempt$ to respond to ! appeal ( ! ,c>melites ( ,hano1 :o mu* desir$ to h h]1 & began a nov5a to ! ,v5]able ,?ophane ,vn>d#d to obta9 h] cure1 b alas6 t nov5a prov$ b ! beg9n+ ( a m s]i\s phase ( h] malady4 ,l h] ,div9e ,ma/]1 %e pass$ ?r\gh ! _w do+ good2 l ,him1 %e _h be5 =gott5 & unkn[n1 & n[1 /ill foll[+ 9 ,8 ,foot/eps1 %e 0 to climb ! hill ( ,calv>y4 ,accu/om$ to see h] always suff]+1 yet always joy\s & brave1 ,"m ,prioress1 d\btless inspir$ by ,god1 all[$ h] to take "p 9 ! ,community ex]cises1 "s ( :i* tir$ h] extremely4 ,at night1 %e w\ld c\rage\sly m\nt ! /airs alone1 paus+ at ea* /ep to take brea?4 ,x 0 ) difficulty t %e rea*$ h] cell1 & !n 9 s exhau/$ a /ate1 t sometimes1 z %e av[$ lat]1 x took h] q an h\r to undress4 ,aft] all ?is ex]tion x 0 ^u a h>d pallet t %e took h] re/4 ,h] nights1 too1 7 v bad1 & :5 ask$ if %e w\ld n l someone to be ne> h] 9 h] h\rs ( pa91 %e repli$3 ,oh1 no6 on ! contr>y1 ,i am only too glad to be 9 a cell away f my ,si/]s1 t ,i may n be he>d4 ,i am cont5t to suff] alone--z soon z ,i am piti$ & load$ ) att5tions1 my happ9ess leaves me4 ,:at /r5g? ( s\l ^! words betray6 ,:]e we f9d sorr[ %e f\nd joy4 ,:at to u is to h>d to be>--be+ ov]look$ & ignor$ by creatures--became to h] a s\rce ( delight4 ,& h] ,div9e ,sp\se knew well h[ to provide t bitt] joy %e f\nd s sweet4 ,pa9ful rem$ies _h (t5 to be appli$4 ,"o day1 :5 %e _h suff]$ f !m m ?an usual1 %e 0 re/+ 9 h] cell dur+ recreation1 & ov]he>d a ,si/] 9 ! kit*5 speak+ ( h] ?us3 ,soeur ,?rse w n live long1 & really sometimes ,i wond] :at our ,"m ,prioress w f9d to say ab\t h] :5 %e dies4#e ,%e w be sorely puzzl$1 = ?is little ,si/]1 amiable z %e is1 has c]ta9ly nev] done any?+ wor? speak+ ab\t4 ,! ,infirm>ian1 :o _h also ov]he>d ! rem>k1 turn$ to ,?rse & said3 ,if y reli$ ^u ! op9ion ( creatures y w\ld inde$ be disillusion$ today4 ,! op9ion ( creatures6 %e repli$2 happily ,god has giv5 me ! grace to be absolutely indiff]5t to t4 ,let me tell y some?+ :i* %[$ me1 once & = all1 h[ mu* x is wor?4 ,a few days aft] my ,clo?+1 ,i w5t to our de> ,"m's room1 & "o ( ! ,si/]s :o happ5$ to be !re1 said on see+ me3 ',de> ,"m1 ?is novice c]ta9ly does y cr$it4 ,h[ well %e looks6 ,i hope %e may be able to obs]ve ! ,rule = _m ye>s to come4' ,i 0 feel+ decid$ly pleas$ at ?is complim5t :5 ano!r ,si/] came 91 &1 look+ at me1 said3 ',poor little ,soeur ,?rse1 h[ v tir$ y seem6 ,y q al>m me4 ,if y d n soon improve1 ,i am afraid y w n be able to keep ! ,rule v long4' ,i 0 !n only sixte51 b ?is little incid5t made su* an impression on me1 t ,i nev] aga9 set /ore on ! v>y+ op9ion ( creatures4 ,on ano!r occasion someone rem>k$3 ,x is said t y h nev] suff]$ mu*4 ,smil+1 %e po9t$ to a glass conta9+ m$ic9e ( a bright r$ col\r4 ,y see ?is little glass8 %e said4 ,"o w\ld suppose t x conta9$ a mo/ delici\s draught1 :]eas1 9 reality1 x is m bitt] ?an any?+ else ,i take4 ,x is ! image ( my life4 ,to o!rs x has be5 all rose col\r2 !y h ?\ght t ,i cont9ually drank ( a mo/ delici\s w9e2 yet to me x has be5 full ( bitt]ness4 ,i say bitt]ness1 & yet my life has n be5 a bitt] "o1 = ,i h le>n$ to f9d my joy & sweetness 9 all t is bitt]4 ,y are suff]+ v mu* j n[1 are y n8 ,yes1 b !n ,i h s long$ to suff]4 ,h[ x di/resses u to see y 9 su* pa91 & to ?9k t x may increase6 said h] novices4 ,oh6 ,d n grieve ab\t me4 ,i h rea*$ a po9t :]e ,i c no long] suff]1 because all suff]+ is become s sweet4 ,besides1 x is q a mi/ake to tr\ble y\rselves z to :at ,i may /ill h to und]go4 ,x is l m$dl+ ) ,god's "w4 ,we :o run 9 ! way ( ,love mu/ nev] all[ ourselves to be di/urb$ by any?+4 ,if ,i did n simply live f "o mom5t to ano!r1 x w\ld be impossible = me to be pati5t2 b ,i only look at ! pres5t1 ,i =get ! pa/1 & ,i take good c>e n to =e/all ! future4 ,:5 we yield to disc\ragem5t or despair1 x is usually because we ?9k too mu* ab\t ! pa/ & ! future4 ,b pray mu* = me1 = x is (t5 j :5 ,i cry to ,heav5 = help t ,i feel mo/ ab&on$4 ,h[ d y manage n to give way to disc\ragem5t at su* times8 ,i turn to ,god & all ,8 ,sa9ts1 & ?ank !m not)/&+2 ,i believe !y want to see h[ f> my tru/ may ext5d4 ,b ! words ( ,job h n ent]$ my he>t 9 va93 ',ev5 if ,god %\ld kill me1 ,i w\ld /ill tru/ 9 ,him4'#f ,i own x has tak5 a long "t to arrive at ?is degree ( self-ab&onm5t2 b ,i h rea*$ x n[1 & x is ! ,"l ,himself ,:o has br\ght me !re4 ,ano!r "t %e said3 ,our ,"l's ,w fills my he>t to ! brim1 & h5ce1 if aught else is add$1 x _c p5etrate to any dep?1 b1 l oil on ! surface ( limpid wat]s1 glides easily across4 ,if my he>t 7 n already brimm+ ov]1 & mu/ ne$s be fill$ by ! feel+s ( joy & sadness t alt]nate s rapidly1 !n inde$ w\ld x be flood$ by a wave ( bitt] pa92 b ^! quick-succe$+ *anges sc>cely ruffle ! surface ( my s\l1 & 9 its dep?s !re reigns a peace t no?+ c di/urb4 ,& yet h] s\l 0 envelop$ 9 ?ick d>kness1 & h] temptations aga9/ ,fai?1 ev] conqu]$ b ev] return+1 7 !re to rob h] ( all feel+ ( happ9ess at ! ?\ght ( h] approa*+ dea?4 ,7 x n = ?is trial1 :i* is impossible to und]/&1 %e w\ld say1 ,i ?9k ,i %\ld die ( joy at ! prospect ( soon leav+ ?is e>?4 ,by ?is trial1 ! ,div9e ,ma/] wi%$ to put ! f9i%+ t\*es to h] purification1 & ?us enable h] n only to walk ) rapid /eps1 b to run 9 h] little way ( confid5ce & ab&onm5t4 ,h] words repeat$ly prov$ ?is4 ,i desire nei!r dea? nor life4 ,7 ,our ,"l to (f] me my *oice1 ,i w\ld n *oose4 ,i only w :at ,he wills2 x is :at ,he does t ,i love4 ,i d n fe> ! la/ /ruggle1 nor any pa9s--h[ev] great--my illness may br+4 ,god has always be5 my help4 ,he has l$ me by ! h& f my e>lie/ *ildhood1 & on ,him ,i rely4 ,my agony may rea* ! fur!/ limits1 b ,i am conv9c$ ,he w nev] =sake me4 ,su* confid5ce 9 ,god1 ( necessity /irr$ ! fury ( ! devil--( him :o1 at life's close1 tries e ruse to s[ ! se$s ( despair 9 ! he>ts ( ! dy+4 ,la/ night ,i 0 seiz$ ) a t]rible feel+ ( angui%1 %e confess$ to ,"m ,agnes ( ,jesus on "o occasion2 ,i 0 lo/ 9 d>kness1 & f out ( x came an accurs$ voice3 ',are y c]ta9 ,god loves y8 ,has ,he ,himself told y s8 ,! op9ion ( creatures w n ju/ify y 9 ,8 sight4' ,^! ?\ghts _h long tortur$ me1 :5 y\r little note1 l a message f ,heav51 0 br\ght to me4 ,y recall$ to me1 de> ,"m1 ! special graces ,jesus _h lavi%$ ^u me1 &1 z ?\gh y _h _h a revelation conc]n+ my trial1 y assur$ me ,i 0 deeply lov$ by ,god1 & 0 on ! eve ( receiv+ f ,8 ,h&s my et]nal cr[n4 ,imm$iately peace & joy 7 re/or$ to my he>t4 ,yet ! ?\ght came to me1 ',x is my little ,"m's affection t makes h] write ^! words4' ,/raightway ,i felt inspir$ to take up ! ,gospels1 &1 op5+ ! book at r&om1 ,i light$ on a passage :i* _h hi!rto escap$ me3 ',he :om ,god ha? s5t speake? ! ,words ( ,god1 = ,god do? n give ! ,_s by measure4'#g ,!n ,i fell asleep fully consol$4 ,x 0 y1 de> ,"m1 :om ! ,good ,god s5t me1 & ,i mu/ believe y1 because y speak ! ,words ( ,god4 ,= sev]al days1 dur+ ! mon? ( ,augu/1 ,?rse rema9$1 s to speak1 beside h]self1 & implor$ t pray]s might be (f]$ = h]4 ,%e _h nev] be=e be5 se5 9 ?is /ate1 & 9 h] inexpressible angui% %e kept repeat+3 ,oh6 h[ necess>y x is to pray = ! agonis+6 ,if "o only knew6 ,"o night %e entreat$ ! ,infirm>ian to spr9kle h] b$ ) ,holy ,wat]1 say+3 ,i am besieg$ by ! devil4 ,i d n see him1 b ,i feel him2 he torm5ts me & holds me ) a grip ( iron1 t ,i may n f9d "o crumb ( com=t2 he augm5ts my woes1 t ,i may be driv5 to despair4 4 4 4 ,& ,i _c pray4 ,i c only look at ,our ,bless$ ,lady & say3 ',jesus6' ,h[ ne$ful is t pray] we use at ,compl9e3 ',procul rec$ant somnia et noctium phantasmata6' 7',free u f ! phantoms ( ! night4'7 ,some?+ my/]i\s is happ5+ )9 me4 ,i am n suff]+ = myself1 b = "s o!r s\l1 & satan is angry4 ,! ,infirm>ian1 />tl$1 light$ a bless$ c&le1 & ! _s ( d>kness fl$1 nev] to return2 b ! suff]] rema9$ to ! end 9 a /ate ( extreme angui%4 ,"o day1 :ile %e 0 contemplat+ ! beautiful heav5s1 "s "o said to h]3 soon y\r home w be !re1 beyond ! blue sky4 ,h[ lov+ly y gaze at x6 ,%e only smil$1 b aft]w>ds %e said to ! ,"m ,prioress3 ,de> ,"m1 ! ,si/]s d n realise my suff]+s4 ,j n[1 :5 look+ at ! sky1 ,i m]ely admir$ ! beauty ( ! mat]ial heav5--! true ,heav5 seems m ?an ev] clos$ aga9/ me4 ,at fir/ _! words tr\bl$ me1 b an int]ior voice :isp]$3 ',yes1 y 7 look+ to ,heav5 out ( love4 ,s9ce y\r s\l is entirely deliv]$ up to love1 all y\r actions1 ev5 ! mo/ indiff]5t1 are m>k$ ) ?is div9e seal4' ,at once ,i 0 consol$4 ,9 spite ( ! d>kness :i* envelop$ h]1 h] ,div9e ,savi\r sometimes left ! door ( h] prison aj>4 ,^? 7 mom5ts 9 :i* h] s\l lo/ itself 9 transports ( confid5ce & love4 ,?us x happ5$ t on a c]ta9 day1 :5 walk+ 9 ! g>d5 support$ by "o ( h] own si/]s1 %e /opp$ at ! *>m+ spectacle ( a h5 %elt]+ its pretty little ones "u its w+4 ,h] eyes fill$ ) te>s1 &1 turn+ to h] companion1 %e said3 ,i _c rema9 "h any long]1 let u g 96 ,& ev5 :5 %e rea*$ h] cell1 h] te>s cont9u$ to fall1 & x 0 "s "t be=e %e c\ld speak4 ,at la/ %e look$ at h] si/] ) a heav5ly expression1 & said3 ,i 0 ?9k+ ( ,our ,"l1 & ! beautiful comp>ison ,he *ose 9 ord] to make u und]/& ,8 ineffable t5d]ness4 ,?is is :at ,he has done = me all ! days ( my life4 ,he has completely hidd5 me "u ,8 ,w+4 ,i _c express all t has j /irr$ my he>t2 x is well = me t ,god conceals ,himself1 & lets me see ! effects ( ,8 ,m]cy b r>ely1 & z x 7 f 'beh9d ! lattices4' ,7 x n s ,i c\ld nev] be> su* sweetness4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,disconsolate at ! prospect ( los+ _! treasure1 ! ,community began a nov5a to ,our ,lady ( ,victories on ,june #e1 #ahig1 9 ! f]v5t hope t %e w\ld once aga9 miracul\sly raise ! droop+ ,little ,fl[]4 ,b h] answ] 0 ! same z t giv5 by ! bless$ ,m>tyr1 ,?ophane ,vn>d1 & !y 7 =c$ to accept ) g5]osity ! bitt]ness ( ! com+ sep>ation4 ,at ! beg9n+ ( ,july1 h] /ate became v s]i\s1 & %e 0 at la/ remov$ to ! ,infirm>y4 ,see+ h] empty cell1 & kn[+ %e w\ld nev] return to x1 ,"m ,agnes ( ,jesus said to h]3 ,:5 y are no long] ) u1 h[ sad ,i %all feel :5 ,i look at ?is cell6 ,= consolation1 little ,"m1 y c ?9k h[ happy ,i am up !re1 & rememb] t mu* ( my happ9ess 0 acquir$ 9 t little cell2 =1 %e add$1 rais+ h] beautiful eyes to ,heav51 ,i h suff]$ s mu* !re1 & ,i %\ld h be5 happy to die !re4 ,z %e ent]$ ! ,infirm>y %e look$ t[>ds ! miracul\s /atue ( ,our ,lady1 :i* _h be5 br\ght ?i!r4 ,x w\ld be impossible to describe t look4 ,:at is x y see8 said h] si/] ,m>ie1 ! witness ( h] miracul\s cure z a *ild4 ,& ,?rse answ]$3 ,nev] has %e seem$ to me s beautiful 4 4 4 b to-day x is ! /atue1 :]eas t o!r day1 z y well "k1 x 0 n ! /atue6 ,& f t "t %e (t5 receiv$ simil> consolations4 ,"o ev5+ %e exclaim$3 ,oh1 h[ ,i love ,our ,bless$ ,lady6 ,_h ,i be5 a ,prie/1 h[ ,i w\ld h sung h] praises6 ,%e is spok5 ( z unapproa*able1 :]eas %e %\ld be repres5t$ z easy ( imitation4 4 4 4 ,%e is m ,"m ?an ,que54 ,i h he>d x said t h] spl5d\r eclipses t ( all ! ,sa9ts z ! ris+ sun makes all ! />s disappe>4 ,x s\nds s /range4 ,t a ,"m %\ld take away ! glory ( h] *ildr56 ,i ?9k q ! rev]se4 ,i believe t %e w greatly increase ! spl5d\r ( ! elect 4 4 4 ,our ,"m ,m>y6 ,oh6 h[ simple h] life mu/ h be56 &1 cont9u+ h] disc\rse1 %e drew su* a sweet & delightful picture ( ! ,holy ,family t all pres5t 7 lo/ 9 admiration4 ,a v heavy cross await$ h] be=e go+ to jo9 h] ,sp\se4 ,f ,augu/ #af to ,septemb] #cj1 ! happy day ( h] dea?1 %e 0 unable to receive ,holy ,communion1 because ( h] cont9ual sickness4 ,few h hung]$ = ! ,bread ( ,angels l ?is s]aph ( e>?4 ,aga9 & aga9 dur+ t la/ w9t] ( h] life1 aft] nights ( intol]able pa91 %e rose at e>ly morn to p>take ( ! ,manna ( ,heav51 & %e ?\ght no price too heavy to pay = ! bliss ( fe$+ ^u ,god4 ,be=e depriv+ h] altoge!r ( ?is ,heav5ly ,food1 ,our ,"l (t5 visit$ h] on h] b$ ( pa94 ,h] ,communion on ,july #af1 ! fea/ ( ,our ,lady ( ,m\nt ,c>mel1 0 specially t\*+4 ,dur+ ! previ\s night %e compos$ "s v]ses :i* 7 to be sung be=e ,communion4 ,?\ "k'/ ! bas5ess ( my s\l1 ,o ,"l1 ,yet fe>e/ n to /oop & ent] me4 ,come to my he>t1 ,o ,sacram5t ador$6 ,come to my he>t 4 4 4 x crave? b = ,!e6 ,& :5 ,?\ come/1 /raightway let me die ,( v love = ,!e2 ?is boon imp>t6 ,oh1 he>k5 ,jesus1 to my suppliant cry3 ,come to my he>t6 ,9 ! morn+1 :5 ! ,holy ,viaticum 0 c>ri$ to ! ,infirm>y1 ! cloi/]s 7 ?ickly /rewn ) wild fl[]s & rose-petals4 ,a "y ,prie/1 :o 0 ab\t to say 8 fir/ ,mass t day 9 ! ,*apel ( ! ,c>mel1 bore ! ,bless$ ,sacram5t to ! dy+ ,si/]2 & at h] desire1 ,si/] ,m>y ( ! ,eu*>i/--^: voice 0 exceptionally sweet--sang ! foll[+ c\plet3 ,sweet m>tyrdom6 to die ( love's ke5 fire3 ,! m>tyrdom ( :i* my he>t is fa96 ,ha/51 ye ,*]ubim1 to tune y\r lyre2 ,i %all n l+] long 9 exile's pa96 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,fulfill my dream1 ,o ,jesus1 s9ce ,i sigh ,( love to die6 ,a few days lat] ,?rse grew worse1 & on ,july #cj %e receiv$ ,extreme ,unction4 ,radiant ) delight ! little ,victim ( ,love said to u3 ,! door ( my d>k prison is aj>4 ,i am /eep$ 9 joy1 especially s9ce our ,fa!r ,sup]ior has assur$ me t to-day my s\l is l unto t ( a little *ild aft] ,baptism4 ,no d\bt %e ?\ght %e 0 quickly to jo9 ! :ite-rob$ b& ( ! ,holy ,innoc5ts4 ,%e little knew t two long mon?s ( m>tyrdom _h /ill to run _! c\rse4 ,de> ,"m1 %e said1 ,i entreat y1 give me leave to die4 ,let me (f] my life = su* & su* an int5tion--nam+ x to ! ,prioress4 ,& :5 ! p]mission 0 refus$1 %e repli$3 ,well1 ,i "k t j at ?is mom5t ,our ,"l has su* a long+ = a t9y bun* ( grapes--:i* no "o w give ,him--t ,he w p]=ce h to come & /eal x4 4 4 4 ,i d n ask any?+2 ?is w\ld be to /ray f my pa? ( self-surr5d]4 ,i only besee* ,our ,lady to rem9d h] ,jesus ( ! title ( ,?ief1 :i* ,he takes to ,himself 9 ! ,gospels1 s t ,he may n =get to come & c>ry me away4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,"o day ,soeur ,?rse took an e> ( corn f a %eaf !y _h br\ght h]4 ,x 0 s lad5 ) gra9 t x b5t on its /alk1 & aft] gaz+ ^u x = "s "t %e said to ! ,"m ,prioress3 ,"m1 t e> ( corn is ! image ( my s\l4 ,god has load$ x ) graces = me & = _m o!rs4 ,& x is my de>e/ wi% ev] to b5d b5ea? ! weight ( ,god's gifts1 ackn[l$g+ t all comes f ,him4 ,%e 0 "r4 ,h] s\l 0 inde$ lad5 ) graces1 & x 0 easy to disc]n ! ,_s ( ,god speak+ ,8 praises out ( ! m\? ( t innoc5t *ild4 ,_h n ?is ,_s ( ,tru? already dictat$ ^! words to ! great ,t]esa ( ,avila3 ,let ^? s\ls :o h rea*$ to p]fect union ) ,god hold !mselves 9 high e/eem1 ) a humble & holy presumption4 ,let !m keep unceas+ly be=e _! eyes ! remembrance ( ! good ?+s !y h receiv$1 & bew>e ( ! ?\ght t !y are practis+ humility 9 n recognis+ ! gifts ( ,god4 ,is x n cle> t ! con/ant remembrance ( gifts be/[$ s]ves to increase ! love ( ! giv]8 ,h[ c he :o ignores ! ri*es he possesses1 sp5d !m g5]\sly ^u o!rs8 ,b ! above 0 n ! only occasion on :i* ! little ,?rse ( ,lisieux#h gave utt]ance to words t prov$ prophetic4 ,9 ! mon? ( ,april1 #ahie1 :ile %e 0 /ill 9 excell5t heal?1 %e said 9 confid5ce to "o ( ! old] nuns3 ,i %all die soon4 ,i d n say t x w be 9 a few mon?s1 b 9 two or ?ree ye>s at mo/2 ,i "k x because ( :at is tak+ place 9 my s\l4 ,! novices betray$ surprise :5 %e read _! inmo/ ?\ghts4 ,?is is my secret1 %e said to !m3 ,i nev] reprim& y )\t fir/ invok+ ,our ,bless$ ,lady1 & ask+ h] to inspire me z to :at w be mo/ = y\r good1 & ,i am (t5 a/oni%$ myself at ! ?+s ,i tea* y4 ,at su* times ,i feel t ,i make no mi/ake1 & t x is ,jesus ,:o speak by my lips4 ,dur+ h] illness "o ( h] si/]s _h exp]i5c$ "s mom5ts ( acute di/ress1 am\nt+ almo/ to disc\ragem5t1 at ! ?\ght ( ! inevitable p>t+4 ,imm$iately aft]w>ds %e w5t to ! ,infirm>y1 b 0 c>eful n to let any sign ( grief be se54 ,:at 0 h] surprise :5 ,?rse1 9 a sad & s]i\s tone1 ?us address$ h]3 ,we ought n to weep l ^? :o h no hope4 ,"o ( ! ,mo!rs1 hav+ come to visit h]1 did h] a trifl+ s]vice4 ,h[ happy ,i %\ld be1 ?\ght ! ,"m1 if ?is ,angel w\ld only say3 ',i w repay y 9 ,heav56' ,at t in/ant ,soeur ,?rse1 turn+ to h]1 said3 ,"m1 ,i w repay y 9 ,heav56 ,b m surpris+ ?an all1 0 h] consci\sness ( ! mission = :i* ,our ,"l _h de/9$ h]4 ,! veil :i* hides ! future seem$ lift$1 & m ?an once %e reveal$ to u its secrets1 9 prophecies :i* h already be5 realis$4 ,i h nev] giv5 ! ,good ,god aught b love2 x is ) ,love ,he w repay4 ,,aft] ,,my ,,dea? ,i ,,w ,,let ,,fall ,a ,,%[] ,,( ,,roses4 ,at ano!r "t %e int]rupt$ a ,si/]1 :o 0 speak+ to h] ( ! happ9ess ( ,heav51 by ! sublime words3 ,x is n t :i* attracts me4 ,& :at attracts y8 ask$ ! o!r4 ,oh6 x is ,love6 ,to love1 to be belov$1 & to return to e>? to w9 love = our ,love6 ,"o ev5+1 %e welcom$ ,"m ,agnes ( ,jesus ) an extraord9>y expression ( joy3 ,"m6 %e said1 "s notes f a conc]t f> away h j rea*$ my e>s1 & h made me ?9k t soon ,i %all be li/5+ to ! wondr\s melodies ( ,p>adise4 ,! ?\ght1 h[ev]1 gave me b a mom5t's joy--"o hope alone makes my he>t beat fa/3 ! ,love t ,i %all receive & ! ,love ,i %all be able to give6 ,i feel t my mission is soon to beg9--my mission to make o!rs love ,god z ,i love ,him 4 4 4 to ea* s\ls my little way 4 4 4 ,i ,,w ,,sp5d ,,my ,,heav5 ,,9 ,,do+ ,,good ,,^u ,,e>?4 ,nor is ?is impossible1 s9ce f ! v he>t ( ! ,beatific ,vision1 ! ,angels keep wat* ov] u4 ,no1 !re c be no re/ = me until ! end ( ! _w4 ,b :5 ! ,angel %all h said3 ',"t is no m6' !n ,i %all re/1 !n ,i %all be able to rejoice1 because ! numb] ( ! elect w be complete4 ,& :at is ?is little way t y w\ld tea* to s\ls8 ,,x ,,is ,,! ,,way ,,( ,,spiritual ,,*ildhood1 ,,! ,,way ,,( ,,tru/ ,,& ,,absolute ,,self-,,surr5d]4 ,i want to po9t out to !m ! means t ,i h always f\nd s p]fectly successful1 to tell !m t !re is b "o ?+ to d "h bel[3 we mu/ (f] ,jesus ! fl[]s ( little sacrifices & w9 ,him by a c>ess4 ,t is h[ ,i h won ,him1 & t is :y ,i %all be made s welcome4 ,%\ld ,i guide y wrongly by my little way ( love1 %e said to a novice1 d n fe> t ,i %all all[ y to cont9ue !re92 ,i %\ld soon come back to ! e>?1 & tell y to take ano!r road4 ,if ,i d n return1 !n believe 9 ! tru? ( ^! my words3 ,we c nev] h too mu* confid5ce 9 ! ,good ,god1 ,he is s mighty1 s m]ciful4 ,z we hope 9 ,him s %all we receive4 ,on ! eve ( ! fea/ ( ,our ,lady ( ,m\nt ,c>mel1 a novice said to h]3 ,i ?9k t if y 7 to die to-morr[1 aft] ,holy ,communion1 ,i %\ld be q consol$--x w\ld be su* a beautiful dea?6 ,?rse answ]$ quickly3 ,die aft] ,holy ,communion6 ,^u a great fea/6 ,nay1 n s4 ,9 my 'little way' ev]y?+ is mo/ ord9>y2 all t ,i d1 little s\ls mu/ be able to d likewise4 ,& to "o ( h] mission>y bro!rs %e wrote3 ,:at draws me to my ,heav5ly ,home is ! summons ( my ,"l1 toge!r ) ! hope t at l5g? ,i %all love ,him z my he>t desires1 & %all be able to make ,him lov$ by a multitude ( s\ls :o w bless ,him ?r\gh\t et]nity4 ,& 9 ano!r lett] to ,*9a3 ,i tru/ fully t ,i %all n rema9 idle 9 ,heav52 my desire is to cont9ue my "w = ! ,*ur* & = s\ls4 ,i ask ?is ( ,god1 & ,i am conv9c$ ,he w he> my pray]4 ,y see t if ,i quit ! battle-field s soon1 x is n f a selfi% desire ( repose4 ,= a long "t n[1 suff]+ has be5 my ,heav5 "h ^u e>?1 & ,i c h>dly conceive h[ ,i %all become acclimatis$ to a l& :]e joy is unmix$ ) sorr[4 ,jesus w c]ta9ly h to "w a complete *ange 9 my s\l--else ,i c\ld nev] support ! ec/asies ( ,p>adise4 ,x 0 q true1 suff]+ _h become h] ,heav5 ^u e>?--%e welcom$ x z we d happ9ess4 ,:5 ,i suff] mu*1 %e w\ld say1 :5 some?+ pa9ful or disagreeable happ5s to me1 in/ead ( a melan*oly look1 ,i answ] by a smile4 ,at fir/ ,i did n always succe$1 b n[ x has become a habit :i* ,i am glad to h acquir$4 ,a c]ta9 ,si/] ent]ta9$ d\bts conc]n+ ! pati5ce ( ,?rse4 ,"o day1 dur+ a visit1 %e rem>k$ t ! invalid's face wore an expression ( une>?ly joy1 & %e s\ght to "k ! reason4 ,x is because ! pa9 is s acute j n[1 ,?rse repli$2 ,i h always =c$ myself to love suff]+ & to give x a glad welcome4 ,:y are y s bright ?is morn+8 ask$ ,"m ,agnes ( ,jesus4 ,because ( two little crosses4 ,no?+ gives me 'little joys' l 'little crosses4' ,& ano!r "t3 ,y h _h _m trials to-day8 ,yes1 b ,i love !m6 4 4 4 ,i love all ! ,good ,god s5ds me6 ,y\r suff]+s are t]rible6 ,no--!y are n t]rible3 c a little ,victim ( ,love f9d any?+ t]rible t is s5t by h] ,sp\se8 ,ea* mom5t ,he s5ds me :at ,i am able to be>1 & no?+ m1 & if ,he increase ! pa91 my /r5g? is increas$ z well4 ,b ,i c\ld nev] ask = great] suff]+s--,i am too little a s\l4 ,!y w\ld !n be ( my own *oice4 ,i %\ld h to be> !m all )\t ,him1 & ,i h nev] be5 able to d any?+ :5 left to myself4 ,?us spoke t wise & prud5t ,virg9 on h] dea?b$1 & h] lamp1 fill$ to ! brim ) ! oil ( virtue1 burn$ brightly to ! end4 ,if1 z ! ,holy ,_s rem9ds u 9 ! ,book ( ,prov]bs3 ,a man's doctr9e is prov$ by 8 pati5ce1#i ^? :o h he>d h] may well believe 9 h] doctr9e1 = %e has prov$ x by a pati5ce no te/ c\ld ov]come4 ,at ea* visit ! doctor express$ 8 admiration4 ,if only y knew :at %e has to endure6 ,i h nev] se5 any "o suff] s int5sely ) su* a look ( sup]natural joy4 4 4 4 ,i %all n be able to cure h]2 %e 0 n made = ?is e>?4 ,9 view ( h] extreme weakness1 he ord]$ "s /r5g!n+ rem$ies4 ,?rse 0 at fir/ di/ress$ because ( _! co/1 b %e aft]w>ds admitt$3 ,i am no long] tr\bl$ at hav+ to take ^? exp5sive rem$ies1 = ,i h read t :5 !y 7 giv5 to ,/4 ,g]trude1 %e 0 gladd5$ by ! ?\ght t x w\ld r$\nd to ! good ( our b5efactors1 s9ce ,our ,"l ,himself has said3 ',:atev] y d to ! lea/ ( ,my little ones1 y d unto ,me4'#aj ,i am conv9c$ t m$ic9es are p[]less to cure me1 %e add$1 b ,i h made a cov5ant ) ,god t ! poor mission>ies :o h nei!r "t nor means to take c>e ( !mselves may pr(it !reby4 ,%e 0 mu* mov$ by ! con/ant gifts ( fl[]s made to h] by h] fri5ds outside ! ,conv5t1 & aga9 by ! visits ( a sweet little r$brea/ t lov$ to play ab\t h] b$4 ,%e saw 9 ^! ?+s ! ,h& ( ,god4 ,"m1 ,i feel deeply ! _m t\*+ pro(s ( ,god's ,love = me4 ,i am lad5 ) !m 4 4 4 nev]!less1 ,i cont9ue 9 ! deepe/ gloom6 4 4 4 ,i suff] mu* 4 4 4 v mu*6 & yet my /ate is "o ( pr(\nd peace4 ,all my long+s h be5 realis$ 4 4 4 ,i am full ( confid5ce4 ,%ortly aft]w>ds %e told me ?is t\*+ little incid5t3 ,"o ev5+1 dur+ ! ',great ,sil5ce1' ! ,infirm>ian br\ght me a hot-wat] bottle = my feet1 & put t9cture ( iod9e on my *e/4 ,i 0 9 a burn+ fev]1 & p>*$ ) ?ir/1 &1 :il/ submitt+ to ^! rem$ies1 ,i c\ld n help say+ to ,our ,"l3 ',my ,jesus1 ,?\ see/ ,i am already burn+1 & !y h br\ght me m heat & fire4 ,oh6 if !y _h br\ght me ev5 half a glass ( wat]1 :at a com=t x w\ld h be56 4 4 4 ,my ,jesus6 ,?y little *ild is s ?ir/y4 ,b %e is glad to h ?is opportunity ( resembl+ ,!e m closely1 & ?us help+ ,!e to save s\ls4' ,! ,infirm>ian soon left me1 & ,i did n expect to see h] aga9 until ! foll[+ morn+4 ,:at 0 my surprise :5 %e return$ a few m9utes lat] ) a refre%+ dr9k6 ',x has j /ruck me t y may be ?ir/y1' %e said1 's ,i %all br+ y some?+ e ev5+4' ,i look$ at h] a/\nd$1 & :5 ,i 0 once m alone1 ,i melt$ into te>s4 ,oh6 h[ good ,jesus is6 h[ t5d] & lov+6 ,h[ easy x is to rea* ,8 ,he>t6 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,on ,septemb] #f1 ! little ,sp\se ( ,jesus receiv$ a t\*+ pro( ( ! lov+ ?\ght ( ,8 ,sacr$ ,he>t4 ,%e _h frequ5tly express$ a wi% to possess a relic ( h] special patron1 ! ,v5]able ,?ophane ,vn>d1 b z h] desire 0 n realis$1 %e said no m4 ,%e 0 q ov]come1 !re=e1 :5 ,"m ,prioress br\ght h] ! long$-= treasure--receiv$ t v day4 ,%e kiss$ x repeat$ly1 & w\ld n cons5t to "p ) x4 ,x may be ask$ :y %e 0 s devot$ to ?is "y ,m>tyr4 ,%e h]self expla9$ ! reason 9 an affectionate int]view ) h] own si/]s3 ,?ophane ,vn>d is a little sa9t2 8 life 0 n m>k$ by any?+ extraord9>y4 ,he _h an ard5t devotion to ,our ,immaculate ,"m & a t5d] love ( 8 own family4 ,dwell+ on ^! words %e add$3 ,& ,i1 too1 love my family ) a t5d] love2 ,i fail to und]/& ^? ,sa9ts :o d n %>e my feel+s4 ,z a p>t+ gift ,i h copi$ = y "s passages f 8 la/ lett]s home4 ,8 s\l & m9e h _m po9ts ( resemblance1 & 8 words d b re-e*o my ?\ghts4 ,we give "h a copy ( t lett]1 :i* "o might h believ$ 0 compos$ by ,?rse h]self3 ,i c f9d no?+ on e>? t c make me truly happy2 ! desires ( my he>t are too va/1 & no?+ ( :at ! _w calls happ9ess c satisfy x4 ,"t = me w soon be no m1 my ?\ghts are fix$ on ,et]nity4 ,my he>t is full ( peace1 l a tranquil lake or a cl\dless sky4 ,i d n regret ?is life on e>?4 ,i ?ir/ = ! wat]s ( ,life ,et]nal4 ,yet a little :ile & my s\l w h quitt$ ?is e>?1 w h f9i%$ h] exile1 w h end$ h] combat4 ,i g to ,heav54 ,i am ab\t to ent] ! ,abode ( ! ,bless$--to see :at ! eye ha? nev] se51 to he> :at ! e> ha? nev] he>d1 to enjoy ^? ?+s ! he>t ( man ha? n conceiv$ 4 4 4 ,i h rea*$ ! h\r s covet$ by u all4 ,x is inde$ true t ,our ,"l *ooses ! little ones to conf\nd ! great ones ( ?is e>?4 ,i d n rely ^u my own /r5g? b ^u ,him ,:o1 on ! ,cross1 vanqui%$ ! p[]s ( hell4 ,i am a spr+ fl[] :i* ! ,div9e ,ma/] culls = ,8 pleasure4 ,we are all fl[]s1 plant$ on ?is e>?1 & ,god w ga!r u 9 ,8 own good "t--"s soon]1 "s lat] 4 4 4 ,i1 little fl[] ( "o day1 am ! fir/ to be ga!r$6 ,b we %all meet aga9 9 ,p>adise1 :]e la/+ joy w be our portion4 ,si/] ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus1 us+ ! words ( ! angelic m>tyr--,?ophane ,vn>d4 ,t[>d ! end ( ,septemb]1 :5 some?+ 0 repeat$ to h] t _h be5 said at recreation1 conc]n+ ! responsibility ( ^? :o h c>e ( s\ls1 %e seem$ to revive a little & gave utt]ance to ^! beautiful words3 ,to him t is little1 m]cy is grant$4#aa ,x is possible to rema9 little ev5 9 ! mo/ responsible position1 & is x n writt5 t1 at ! la/ day1 '! ,"l w arise to save ! meek & l[ly ones ( ! e>?'8#ab ,he does n say 'to judge1' b 'to save6' ,z "t w5t on1 ! tide ( suff]+ rose high] & high]1 & %e became s weak1 t %e 0 unable to make ! slighte/ movem5t )\t assi/ance4 ,ev5 to he> anyone :isp] increas$ h] discom=t2 & ! fev] & oppression 7 s extreme t x 0 ) ! greate/ difficulty %e 0 able to articulate a ^w4 ,& yet a sweet smile 0 always on h] lips4 ,h] only fe> 0 le/ %e %\ld give h] ,si/]s any extra tr\ble1 & until two days be=e h] dea? %e w\ld nev] all[ any "o to rema9 ) h] dur+ ! night4 ,h[ev]1 9 spite ( h] entreaties1 ! ,infirm>ian w\ld visit h] f "t to "t4 ,on "o occasion %e f\nd ,?rse ) h&s jo9$ & eyes rais$ to ,heav54 ,:at are y do+8 %e ask$2 y ought to try & g to sleep4 ,i _c1 ,si/]1 ,i am suff]+ too mu*1 s ,i am pray+4 4 4 4 ,& :at d y say to ,jesus8 ,i say no?+--,i only love ,him6 ,oh6 h[ good ,god is6 4 4 4 %e sometimes exclaim$4 ,truly ,he mu/ be v good to give me /r5g? to be> all ,i h to suff]4 ,"o day %e said to ! ,"m ,prioress3 ,"m1 ,i w\ld l to make kn[n to y ! /ate ( my s\l2 b ,i _c1 ,i feel too mu* ov]come j n[4 ,9 ! ev5+ ,?rse s5t h] ^! l9es1 writt5 9 p5cil ) a trembl+ h&3 ,o my ,god6 h[ good ,?\ art to ! little ,victim ( ,?y ,m]ciful ,love6 ,n[1 ev5 :5 ,?\ jo9e/ ^! bodily pa9s to ^? ( my s\l1 ,i _c br+ myself to say3 ',! angui% ( dea? ha? encompass$ me4'#ac ,i r cry out 9 my gratitude3 ',i h gone d[n into ! valley ( ! %ad[ ( dea?1 b ,i fe> no evil1 because ,?\1 ,o ,"l1 art ) me4'#ad ,h] little ,"m said to h]3 ,"s ?9k t y are afraid ( dea?4 ,t may easily come to pass1 %e answ]$2 ,i d n rely on my own feel+s1 = ,i "k h[ frail ,i am4 ,x w be "t en\gh to be> t cross if x comes1 meantime ,i wi% to rejoice 9 my pres5t happ9ess4 ,:5 ! ,*apla9 ask$ me if ,i 0 resign$ to die1 ,i answ]$3 ',fa!r1 ,i ne$ r to be resign$ to live--,i feel no?+ b joy at ! ?\ght ( dea?4' ,d n be tr\bl$1 de> ,"m1 if ,i suff] mu* & %[ no sign ( happ9ess at ! end4 ,did n ,our ,"l ,himself die 'a ,victim ( ,love1' & see h[ great 0 ,8 ,agony6 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,at la/ dawn$ ! et]nal day4 ,x 0 ,?ursday1 ,septemb] #cj1 #ahig4 ,9 ! morn+1 ! sweet ,victim1 h] eyes fix$ on ,our ,lady's /atue1 spoke ?us ( h] la/ night on e>?3 ,oh6 ) :at f]v\r ,i h pray$ to h]6 4 4 4 ,& yet x has be5 pure agony1 )\t a ray ( consolation4 4 4 4 ,e>?'s air is fail+ me3 :5 %all ,i brea! ! air ( ,heav58 ,= weeks %e _h be5 unable to raise h]self 9 b$1 b1 at half-pa/ two 9 ! aft]noon1 %e sat up & exclaim$3 ,de> ,"m1 ! *alice is full to ov]fl[+6 ,i c\ld nev] h believ$ t x 0 possible to suff] s int5sely4 4 4 4 ,i c only expla9 x by my extreme desire to save s\ls4 4 4 4 ,& a little :ile aft]3 ,yes1 all t ,i h writt5 ab\t my ?ir/ = suff]+ is really true6 ,i d n regret hav+ surr5d]$ myself to ,love4 ,%e repeat$ ^! la/ words sev]al times4 ,a little lat] %e add$3 ,"m1 prep>e me to die well4 ,! good ,"m ,prioress enc\rag$ h] ) ^! words3 ,my *ild1 y are q ready to appe> be=e ,god1 = y h always und]/ood ! virtue ( humility4 ,!n1 9 /rik+ words1 ,?rse bore witness to h]self3 ,yes1 ,i feel x2 my s\l has ev] s\ght ! tru?4 4 4 4 ,i h und]/ood humility ( he>t6 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,at half-pa/ f\r1 h] agony began--! agony ( ?is ,victim ( ,div9e ,love4 ,:5 ! ,community ga!r$ r\nd h]1 %e ?ank$ !m ) ! sweete/ smile1 & !n1 completely giv5 ov] to love & suff]+1 ! ,crucifix clasp$ 9 h] fail+ h&s1 %e ent]$ on ! f9al combat4 ,! sweat ( dea? lay heavy on h] br[ 4 4 4 %e trembl$ 4 4 4 b1 z a pilot1 :5 close to h>b\r1 is n dismay$ by ! fury ( ! /orm1 s ?is s\l1 /rong 9 fai?1 saw close at h& ! beacon-lights ( ,heav51 & valiantly put =? e ef=t to rea* ! %ore4 ,z ! conv5t bells rang ! ev5+ ,angelus1 %e fix$ an inexpressible look ^u ! /atue ( ! ,immaculate ,virg91 ! ,/> ( ! ,sea4 ,0 x n ! mom5t to repeat h] beautiful pray]3 ,o ?\ :o came/ to smile on me 9 ! morn ( my life1 come once aga9 & smile1 ,"m1 = n[ x is ev5tide6#ae ,a few m9utes aft] sev51 turn+ to ! ,prioress1 ! poor little ,m>tyr ask$3 ,"m1 is x n ! agony8 4 4 4 am ,i n go+ to die8 ,yes1 my *ild1 x is ! agony1 b ,jesus p]haps wills t x be prolong$ = "s h\rs4 ,9 a sweet & pla9tive voice %e repli$3 ,ah1 v well !n 4 4 4 v well 4 4 4 ,i d n wi% to suff] less6 ,!n1 look+ at h] crucifix3 ,oh6 4 4 4 ,i love ,him6 4 4 4 ,my ,god1 ,i 4 4 4 love 4 4 4 ,!e6 ,^! 7 h] la/ words4 ,%e _h sc>cely utt]$ !m :51 to our great surprise1 %e sank d[n q sudd5ly1 h] head incl9$ a little to ! "r1 9 ! attitude ( ! ,virg9 ,m>tyrs (f]+ !mselves to ! sword2 or r1 z a ,victim ( ,love1 await+ f ! ,div9e ,ar*] ! fi]y %aft1 by :i* %e longs to die4 ,sudd5ly %e rais$ h]self1 z ?\gh call$ by a my/]i\s voice2 & op5+ h] eyes1 :i* %one ) unutt]able happ9ess & peace1 fix$ h] gaze a little above ! /atue ( ,our ,lady4 ,?us %e rema9$ = ab\t ! space ( a ,cr$o1 :5 h] bless$ s\l1 n[ become ! prey ( ! ,div9e ,eagle1 0 borne away to ! heights ( ,heav54 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,a few days be=e h] dea?1 ?is little ,sa9t _h said3 ,! dea? ( ,love :i* ,i s mu* desire is t ( ,jesus ^u ! ,cross4 ,h] pray] 0 fully grant$4 ,d>kness envelop$ h]1 & h] s\l 0 /eep$ 9 angui%4 ,& yet1 may we n apply to h] also t sublime prophecy ( ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross1 ref]r+ to s\ls consum$ by ! fire ( ,div9e ,love3 ,!y die ,victims ( ! onslaughts ( ,love1 9 raptur$ ec/asies--l ! swan1 ^: song gr[s sweet] z dea? draws nigh4 ,:]e=e ! ,psalmi/ decl>$3 ',preci\s 9 ! sight ( ! ,"l is ! dea? ( ,8 ,sa9ts4'#af ,= !n x is t ! riv]s ( love bur/ =? f ! s\l & are :elm$ 9 ! ,ocean ( ,div9e ,love4 ,no soon] _h h] spotless s\l tak5 its flight ?an ! joy ( t la/ rapture impr9t$ itself on h] br[1 & a radiant smile illum9$ h] face4 ,we plac$ a palm-bran* 9 h] h&2 & ! lilies & roses t adorn$ h] 9 dea? 7 figures ( h] :ite robe ( baptism made r$ by h] ,m>tyrdom ( ,love4 ,on ! ,saturday & ,sunday a l>ge cr[d pass$ be=e ! grat+ ( ! nuns' *apel1 to gaze on ! mortal rema9s ( ! ,little ,fl[] ( ,jesus4 ,hundr$s ( m$als & ros>ies 7 br\ght to t\* ! ,little ,que5 z %e lay 9 ! triumphant beauty ( h] la/ sleep4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,on ,octob] #d1 ! day ( ! fun]al1 !re ga!r$ 9 ! ,*apel ( ! ,c>mel a goodly company ( ,prie/s4 ,! hon\r 0 surely due to "o :o _h pray$ s e>ne/ly = ^? call$ to t sacr$ (fice4 ,aft] a la/ solemn bless+1 ?is gra9 ( priceless :eat 0 ca/ into ! furr[ by ! h&s ( ,holy ,"m ,*ur*4 ,:o %all tell h[ _m rip5$ e>s h sprung =? s9ce1 h[ _m ! %eaves t are yet to come8 ,am51 am51 ,i say to y1 unless ! gra9 ( :eat1 fall+ into ! gr\nd1 die1 itself rema9e? alone4 ,b if x die1 x br+e? =? mu* fruit4#ag ,once m ! ^w ( ! ,div9e ,reap] has be5 magnific5tly fulfill$4 ,,! ,,prioress ,,( ,,! ,,c>mel4 #a ,dom ,gurang]4 #b ,"m ,m>y ( ,gonzaga di$ ,dec4 #ag1 #aijd1 at ! age ( #ga4 ,"m ,agnes ( ,jesus 7,paul9e7 0 at t "t ,prioress4 ,! =m]--h]self ( ! l9e ( ,/4 ,antony ( ,padua--recogniz$ 9 ,soeur ,?rse an h]oic s\l1 fill$ ) hol9ess1 & capable ( becom+ "o day an excell5t ,prioress4 ,) ?is end 9 view1 %e tra9$ h] ) a /rictness = :i* ! "y ,sa9t 0 mo/ grateful4 ,9 ! arms ( ,"m ,m>y ( ,gonzaga ! ,little ,fl[] ( ,jesus 0 welcom$ to ! ,c>mel1 & 9 ^? arms %e di$--happy1 %e decl>$1 n to h 9 t h\r z ,sup]ioress h] 'little ,"m1' 9 ord] ! bett] to ex]cise h] _s ( fai? 9 au?ority4 ,ed4 #c ,z w be rememb]$1 ?is 0 ,m>ie1 h] elde/ si/]4 ,ed4 #d ,! ,bless$ ,?ophane ,vn>d 0 born at ,/4 ,l\p1 9 ! diocese ( ,poiti]s1 on ! ,fea/ ( ! ,pres5tation ( ,our ,lady1 ,nov4 #ba1 #ahbi4 ,he 0 m>tyr$ at ,ke*o1 ,tong-,k+1 on ! ,fea/ ( ! ,pres5tation ( ,our ,"l1 ,feb4 #b1 #ahfa1 at ! age ( #cb4 ,a long & delightful correspond5ce ) 8 family1 begun 9 8 college days & complet$ f 8 cage at ,ke*o1 reveals a k9%ip ( poesy z well z ( sanctity & ( ! love ( home1 betwe5 ! two spr+ fl[]s4 ,! beauty ( 8 s\l 0 s visible 9 8 boyi% face t he 0 sp>$ all torture dur+ 8 two mon?s 9 ! cage4 ,9 #aiji1 ! ye> 9 :i* ,?rse became ,s]vant ( ,god by ! comm5cem5t ( ! ,episcopal ,process1 h] patron receiv$ ! hon\rs ( ,beatification4 ,ano!r *ild ( ,france--,joan1 its ,m>tyr-,maid--^: praises h be5 sung 9 affectionate v]se by ! ,sa9ts ( ,/4 ,l\p & ,lisieux1 0 beatifi$ t same ye>4 ,ed4 #e ,an allusion to ! obitu>y notice s5t to ea* ( ! ,fr5* ,c>mels :5 a ,c>melite nun dies 9 t c\ntry4 ,9 ! case ( ^? :o die 9 ! od\r ( sanctity ^! notices sometimes run to consid]able l5g?4 ,f\r notices issu$ f ! ,c>mel ( ,lisieux are ( great int]e/ to ! cli5ts ( ,soeur ,?rse1 & are 9 c\rse ( publication at ! ,orphans' ,press1 ,ro*dale2 ^? ( ! ,c>mel's sa9tly ,f\ndress1 ,"m ,g5evieve ( ,/4 ,t]esa1 ^: dea? is ref]r$ to 9 ,*apt] ,,viii2 ,"m ,m>y ( ,gonzaga1 ! ,prioress ( ,?rse2 ,si/] ,m>y ( ! ,eu*>i/ 7,m>ie ,gur971 ! c\s9 ( ,?rse 7,*apt] ,,iii72 & mo/ int]e/+ ( all1 ! long sket*1 p>tly autobiographical1 ( ,"m ,m>y ( ,/4 ,angelus 7,m>ie ,ange71 ! trophy ( ,?rse1 br\ght by h] int]cession to ! ,c>mel 9 #aijb--:]e ! writ] made h] acqua9tance 9 ! foll[+ spr+2 %e became ,prioress 9 #aijh1 dy+ eighte5 mon?s lat] 9 ! od\r ( sanctity1 ag$ only #bh4 ,ed4 #f ,cf4 ,job #ac3ae4 #g ,john #c3cd4 #h ,:5 ask$ be=e h] dea? h[ !y %\ld pray to h] 9 ,heav51 ,soeur ,?rse1 ) h] wont$ simplicity1 made answ]3 ,y w call me ',little ,?rse'--petite ,?rse4 ,& at ,gallipoli1 on ! occasion ( h] celebrat$ app>ition 9 ! ,c>mel !re1 :5 ! ,prioress1 tak+ h] to be ,/4 ,t]esa ( ,avila1 address$ h] z our holy ,"m1 ! visitor1 adopt+ h] !n (ficial title1 repli$3--,nay1 ,i am n our holy ,"m1 ,i am ! ,s]vant ( ,god1 ,soeur ,?rse ( ,lisieux4 ,?is1 h] own "n ( ,soeur ,?rse1 has be5 reta9$ 9 ! pres5t edition1 unless :]e x 0 advisable to set d[n h] "n 9 full--,si/] ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus & ( ! ,holy ,face4 ,! "n ( ! ,little ,fl[]1 borr[$ by h] f ! ,bless$ ,?ophane ,vn>d1 & us$ s ext5sively 9 ! pages ( h] manuscript1 is ! "o by :i* %e is be/ kn[n 9 ,engli%-speak+ l&s4 ,ed4 #i ,cf4 ,prov4 #ai3aa4 #aj ,matt4 #be3di4 #aa ,wisdom #f3g4 #ab ,cf4 ,ps4 #gegf3aj4 #ac ,cf4 ,ps4 #agah3e4 #ad ,cf4 ,ps4 #bbbc3d4 #ae ,f ! la/ poem writt5 by ,soeur ,?rse4 #af ,ps4 #aaeaaf3ae4 #ag ,john #ab3bd1 #be4 ,,c\nsels ,,& ,,rem9isc5ces ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se1 ,,! ,,little ,,fl[] ,,( ,,jesus ,mo/ ( :at foll[s has be5 ga!r$ f ! conv]sations ( ,soeur ,?rse ) h] novices4 ,h] advice _c b prove helpful to s\ls )9 ! cloi/]1 & likewise to _m 9 ! _w :o may be attract$ by h] simple & easy little way to ,god4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ( ! novices1 greatly disc\rag$ at ! ?\ght ( h] imp]fections1 tells u t h] mi/ress spoke to h] z foll[s3 ,y make me ?9k ( a little *ild t is le>n+ to /& b does n yet "k h[ to walk4 ,9 8 desire to rea* ! top ( ! /airs to f9d 8 "m1 he lifts 8 little foot to climb ! fir/ /ep4 ,x is all 9 va91 & at ea* r5ew$ ef=t he falls4 ,well1 be l t little *ild4 ,always keep lift+ y\r foot to climb ! ladd] ( hol9ess1 & d n imag9e t y c m\nt ev5 ! fir/ /ep4 ,all ,god asks ( y is good w4 ,f ! top ( ! ladd] ,he looks lov+ly ^u y1 & soon1 t\*$ by y\r fruitless ef=ts1 ,he w ,himself come d[n1 &1 tak+ y 9 ,8 ,arms1 w c>ry y to ,8 ,k+dom nev] aga9 to leave ,him4 ,b %\ld y cease to raise y\r foot1 y w be left = long on ! e>?4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,! only way to advance rapidly 9 ! pa? ( love is to rema9 always v little4 ,t is :at ,i did1 & n[ ,i c s+ ) our holy ,fa!r1 ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross3 ',!n ,i abas$ myself s l[1 s v l[1 ,t ,i asc5d$ to su* heights1 su* heights inde$1 ,t ,i did ov]take ! prey ,i *as$6' 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,"u a temptation :i* seem$ to me irresi/ible1 ,i said to h]3 ,?is "t1 ,i _c surm\nt x4 ,%e repli$3 ,:y seek to surm\nt x8 ,r pass b5ea?4 ,x is all well = great s\ls to so> above ! cl\ds :5 ! /orm rages2 we h simply to suff] ! %[]s4 ,:at does x matt] if we get wet8 ,we %all dry ourselves 9 ! sun%9e ( love4 ,x recalls a little incid5t ( my *ildhood4 ,"o day a horse 0 /&+ 9 front ( ! g>d5 gate1 & prev5t+ u f gett+ ?r\gh4 ,my companions talk$ to him & tri$ to make him move (f1 b :ile !y 7 /ill talk+ ,i quietly slipp$ betwe5 8 legs 4 4 4 ,su* is ! advantage ( rema9+ small4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,our ,"l said to ! "m ( ! sons ( ,zeb$ee3 ',to sit on my "r or left h& is = !m = :om x is prep>$ by my ,fa!r4'#a ,i imag9e t ^! *os5 places1 :i* h be5 refus$ alike to great ,sa9ts & ,m>tyrs1 w be res]v$ = little *ildr52 & did n ,david =etell x :5 he said1 t '! little ,b5jam9 w preside amid/ ! assemblies#b ( ! ,sa9ts4' 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,y are wrong to f9d fault ) ?is ?+ & ) t1 or to try & make ev]yone see ?+s z y see !m4 ,we desire to be 'z little *ildr51' & little *ildr5 d n "k :at is be/3 to !m all seems "r4 ,let u imitate _! ways4 ,besides1 !re is no m]it 9 do+ :at reason dictates4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,my patrons & my special fav\rites 9 ,heav5 are ^? :o1 s to speak1 /ole x1 su* z ! ,holy ,innoc5ts & ! ,good ,?ief4 ,! great ,sa9ts won x by _! works2 ,i wi% to be l ! ?ieves & to w9 x by /ratagem--a /ratagem ( love :i* w op5 its gates bo? to me & to poor s9n]s4 ,9 ! ,book ( ,prov]bs ! ,holy ,gho/ enc\rages me1 = ,he says3 ',come to me1 little "o1 to le>n subtlety6'#c 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:at w\ld y d if y c\ld beg9 ov] aga9 y\r religi\s life8 ,i ?9k ,i %\ld d z ,i h already done4 ,!n y d n %>e ! feel+ ( ! h]mit :o said3 ',:ile a qu>t] ( an h\r1 or ev5 a brea? ( life /ill rema9s to me1 ,i %all fe> ! fires ( hell ev5 ?\gh ,i %\ld h sp5t long ye>s 9 p5ance'8 ,no1 ,i d n %>e t fe>2 ,i am too small4 ,little *ildr5 are n damn$4 ,y are ev] seek+ to be z little *ildr5 are1 b tell u :at mu/ be done to obta9 t *ildlike _s4 ',rema9+ little'--:at does x mean8 ',rema9+ little' means--to recognise "o's no?+ness1 to await ev]y?+ f ! ,goodness ( ,god1 to avoid be+ too mu* tr\bl$ at our faults2 f9ally1 n to worry ov] amass+ spiritual ri*es1 n to be solicit\s ab\t any?+4 ,ev5 among/ ! poor1 :ile a *ild is /ill small1 he is giv5 :at is necess>y2 b1 once he is gr[n up1 8 fa!r w no long] fe$ him1 & tells him to seek "w & support himself4 ,well1 x 0 to avoid he>+ ?is1 t ,i h nev] wi%$ to gr[ up1 = ,i feel incapable ( e>n+ my livelihood1 :i* is ,life ,et]nal6 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 imitation ( our sa9tly ,mi/ress ,i also wi%$ nev] to gr[ up2 %e call$ me !re=e ! little "o1 & dur+ a retreat %e wrote to me ! foll[+ notes3 ,d n fe> to tell ,jesus t y love him1 ev5 ?\gh y may n feel t love4 ,9 ?is way y w compel ,him to come to y\r aid1 & to c>ry y l a little *ild :o is too weak to walk4 ,x is inde$ a great s\rce ( trial1 :5 ev]y?+ looks black1 b ?is does n dep5d entirely on y\rself4 ,d all 9 y\r p[] to deta* y\r he>t f e>?ly c>es1 especially f creatures2 !n be assur$ ,our ,"l w d ! re/4 ,he c\ld n p]mit y to fall into ! abyss4 ,be com=t$1 little "o6 ,9 ,heav5 ev]y?+ w no long] look black1 b dazzl+ :ite4 ,!re all w be clo!d 9 ! ,div9e radiance ( ,our ,sp\se--! ,lily ( ! ,valley4 ,toge!r we w foll[ ,him :i!rsoev] ,he goe?4 ,meantime we mu/ make good use ( ?is life's brief day4 ,let u give ,our ,"l pleasure1 let u by self-sacrifice give ,him s\ls6 ,above all1 let u be little--s little t ev]yone might tread u und]foot )\t our ev5 seem+ to suff] pa94 ,i am n surpris$ at ! failures ( ! little "o2 %e =gets t 9 h] rle ( mission>y & w>rior %e ought to =go all *ildi% consolations4 ,x is wrong to pass "o's "t 9 frett+1 in/ead ( sleep+ on ! ,he>t ( ,jesus4 ,%\ld ! little "o fe> ! d>k ( ! night1 or compla9 at n see+ ,him :o c>ries h]1 let h] %ut h] eyes4 ,x is ! "o sacrifice ,god asks4 ,by rema9+ ?us1 ! d>k w cease to t]rify1 because %e w n see x1 & be=e long1 peace--if n joy--w re-ent] h] s\l4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,to help me accept a humiliation %e confid$ to me :at foll[s3 ,if ,i _h n be5 receiv$ into ! ,c>mel1 ,i w\ld h ent]$ a ,refuge1 & liv$ !re unkn[n & despis$ among ! poor 'p5it5ts4' ,my joy w\ld h be5 to pass = "o1 & ,i w\ld h become an apo/le among my companions1 tell+ !m my ?\ghts on ! ,inf9ite ,m]cy ( ,god4 ,b h[ c\ld y h hidd5 y\r innoc5ce f y\r ,confessor8 ,i w\ld h told him t :ile /ill 9 ! _w ,i made a g5]al confession1 & t x 0 =bidd5 me to repeat x4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,oh6 ,:5 ,i ?9k ( all ,i h to acquire6 ,or r to lose6 ,x is ,jesus ,:o takes ^u ,himself to fill y\r s\l accord+ z y rid x ( imp]fections4 ,i see cle>ly t y are mi/ak+ ! road1 & t y w nev] arrive at ! end ( y\r j\rney4 ,y want to climb ! m\nta91 :]eas ,god wi%es y to desc5d x4 ,he is await+ y 9 ! fruitful valley ( humility4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,to me x seems t humility is tru?4 ,i d n "k :e!r ,i am humble1 b ,i d "k t ,i see ! tru? 9 all ?+s4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,inde$ y are a ,sa9t6 ,no1 ,i am n a ,sa9t4 ,i h nev] wr\ght ! works ( a ,sa9t4 ,i am b a t9y s\l :om ,almighty ,god has load$ ) ,8 fav\rs4 ,! tru? ( :at ,i say w be made kn[n to y 9 ,heav54 ,b h y n always be5 fai?ful to ^? fav\rs8 ,yes1 f ! age ( ?ree ,i h nev] refus$ our ,good ,god any?+4 ,/ill ,i _c glorify myself4 ,see h[ ?is ev5+ ! tree-tops are gild$ by ! sett+ sun4 ,s likewise my s\l appe>s to y all %9+ & gold5 because x is expos$ to ! rays ( ,love4 ,b %\ld ! ,div9e ,sun no long] %9e !reon1 x w\ld in/antly be sunk 9 gloom4 ,we too w\ld l to become all gold5--:at mu/ we d8 ,y mu/ practise ! little virtues4 ,?is is sometimes difficult1 b ,god nev] refuses ! fir/ grace--c\rage = self-conque/2 & if ! s\l correspond to t grace1 %e at once f9ds h]self 9 ,god's sunlight4 ,! praise giv5 to ,judi? has always /ruck me3 ',?\ ha/ done manfully1 & ?y he>t has be5 /r5g!n$4'#d ,9 ! onset we mu/ act ) c\rage4 ,by ?is means ! he>t ga9s /r5g?1 & victory foll[s victory4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 con=mity ) ! ,rule1 ,soeur ,?rse nev] rais$ h] eyes 9 ! refectory1 &1 z ,i f\nd great difficulty 9 ?is obs]vance1 %e compos$ = me ! foll[+ pray]4 ,x reveals h] exce$+ humility1 because 9 x %e ask$ a grace ( :i* ,i alone /ood 9 ne$3 ,o ,jesus1 9 hon\r & 9 imitation ( ! example ,?\ gave/ 9 ! h\se ( ,h]od1 ,?y two little ,sp\ses resolve to keep _! eyes ca/ d[n 9 ! refectory4 ,:5 t impi\s k+ sc(f$ at ,!e1 ,o ,inf9ite ,beauty1 no compla9t came f ,?y ,lips4 ,?\ did/ n ev5 deign to fix on him ,?y ,adorable ,eyes4 ,he 0 n wor?y ( ! fav\r1 b we :o are ,?y ,sp\ses1 we desire to draw ,?y ,div9e ,gaze ^u ourselves4 ,z (t5 z we refra9 f rais+ our eyes1 we beg ,!e to rew>d u by a glance ( love1 & we ev5 d>e ask ,!e n to refuse ?is sweet glance :5 we fail 9 our self-control1 = we w humble ourselves mo/ s9c]ely be=e ,!e4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i confid$ to h] t ,i made no progress1 & t consequ5tly ,i _h lo/ he>t4 ,up to ! age ( f\rte51 %e said1 ,i practis$ virtue )\t ta/+ its sweetness4 ,i desir$ suff]+1 b ,i did n ?9k ( mak+ x my joy2 t grace 0 v\*saf$ me lat]4 ,my s\l 0 l a beautiful tree ! fl[]s ( :i* _h sc>cely op5$ :5 !y fell4 ,(f] to ,god ! sacrifice ( nev] ga!r+ any fruit4 ,if ,he w t ?r\gh\t y\r :ole life y %\ld feel a repugnance to suff]+ & humiliation--if ,he p]mit t all ! fl[]s ( y\r desires & ( y\r good w %\ld fall to ! gr\nd )\t any fruit appe>+1 d n worry4 ,at ! h\r ( dea?1 9 ! tw9kl+ ( an eye1 ,he w cause fair fruits to rip5 on ! tree ( y\r s\l4 ,we read 9 ! ,book ( ,ecclesia/icus3 ',!re is an inactive man t wante? help1 is v weak 9 ability1 & full ( pov]ty3 yet ! ,eye ( ,god ha? look$ ^u him = good1 & ha? lift$ him up f 8 l[ e/ate1 & ha? exalt$ 8 head3 & _m h wond]$ at him1 & h glorifi$ ,god4 4 4 4 ,tru/ 9 ,god1 & /ay 9 ?y place4 ,= x is easy 9 ! ,eyes ( ,god1 on a sudd51 to make ! poor man ri*4 ,! bless+ ( ,god make? ha/e to rew>d ! j1 & 9 a swift h\r ,8 bless+ be>e? fruit4'#e ,b if ,i fall1 ,i %all always be f\nd imp]fect2 :]eas y are look$ ^u z holy4 ,t is1 p]haps1 because ,i h nev] desir$ to be consid]$ s4 4 4 4 ,b t y %\ld be f\nd imp]fect is j :at is be/4 ,"h is y\r h>ve/4 ,to believe oneself imp]fect & o!rs p]fect--?is is true happ9ess4 ,%\ld e>?ly creatures ?9k y devoid ( hol9ess1 !y rob y ( no?+1 & y are none ! poor]3 x is !y :o lose4 ,= is !re any?+ m sweet ?an ! inw>d joy ( ?9k+ well ( our neighb\r8 ,z = myself ,i am glad & rejoice1 n only :5 ,i am look$ ^u z imp]fect1 b above all :5 ,i feel t x is true4 ,complim5ts1 on ! contr>y1 d b displease me4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,god has a special love = y s9ce ,he entru/s s\ls to y\r c>e4 ,t makes no diff]5ce1 & ,i am really only :at ,i am 9 ,8 ,eyes4 ,x is n because ,he wills me to be ,8 int]pret] among y1 t ,he loves me m2 r1 ,he makes me y\r little h&maid4 ,x is = y1 & n = myself1 t ,he has be/[$ ^u me ^? *>ms & ^? virtues :i* y see4 ,i (t5 comp>e myself to a little b[l fill$ by ,god ) good ?+s4 ,all ! kitt5s come to eat f x1 & !y sometimes qu>rel z to :i* w h ! l>ge/ %>e4 ,b ! ,holy ,*ild ,jesus keeps a %>p wat*4 ',i am will+ y %\ld fe$ f ,my little b[l1' ,he says1 'b take he$ le/ y upset & break x4' ,9 tru? !re is no great dang]1 because ,i am already on ! gr\nd4 ,n s ) ,prioresses2 set1 z !y are1 on tables1 !y run f> m risks4 ,hon\rs are always dang]\s4 ,:at poison\s food is s]v$ daily to ^? 9 high positions6 ,:at deadly fumes ( inc5se6 ,a s\l mu/ be well deta*$ f h]self to pass unsca!d ?r\gh x all4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,x is a consolation = y to d good & to procure ! ,glory ( ,god4 ,i wi% ,i 7 equally fav\r$4 ,:at if ,god does make use ( me1 r ?an ( ano!r1 to procure ,8 ,glory6 ,provid$ ,8 ,k+dom be e/abli%$ among s\ls1 ! in/rum5t matt]s n4 ,besides1 ,he has no ne$ ( anyone4 ,"s "t ago ,i 0 wat*+ ! flick]1 almo/ invisible1 ( a t9y night-light1 :5 "o ( ! ,si/]s drew ne>1 &1 light+ h] c&le 9 ! dy+ flame1 pass$ x r\nd to light all ^? ( ! ,community4 ',:o d>e glory 9 8 own good works8' ,i reflect$4 ',f "o fa9t sp>k su* z ?is1 x w\ld be possible to set ! :ole e>? on fire4' ,we (t5 ?9k we receive graces & are div9ely illum9$ by means ( brilliant c&les4 ,b f :5ce comes _! light8 ,f ! pray]s1 p]haps1 ( "s humble1 hidd5 s\l1 ^: inw>d %9+ is n app>5t to human eyes2 a s\l ( unrecognis$ virtue &1 9 h] own sight1 ( little value--a dy+ flame4 ,:at my/]ies w yet be unveil$ to u6 ,i h (t5 ?\ght t p]haps ,i owe all ! graces ) :i* ,i am lad51 to "s little s\l :om ,i %all "k only 9 ,heav54 ,x is ,god's ,w t 9 ?is _w s\ls %all disp5se to ea* o!r1 by pray]1 ! treasures ( ,heav51 9 ord] t :5 !y rea* _! ,ev]la/+ ,home !y may love "o ano!r ) grateful he>ts1 & ) an affection f> 9 excess ( t :i* reigns 9 ! mo/ p]fect family on e>?4 ,!re no looks ( indiff]5ce w meet u1 because all ! ,sa9ts w be mutually indebt$ to ea* o!r4 ,no envi\s glances w be ca/1 = ! happ9ess ( ea* "o ( ! ,bless$ w be ! happ9ess ( all4 ,) ! ,doctors ( ! ,*ur* we %all be l unto ,doctors2 ) ! ,m>tyrs1 l unto ,m>tyrs2 ) ! ,virg9s1 l unto ,virg9s2 & j z ! memb]s ( "o family are pr\d "o ( ! o!r1 s )\t ! lea/ jeal\sy %all we take pride 9 our bro!rs & si/]s4 ,:5 we see ! glory ( ! great ,sa9ts1 & "k t ?r\gh ! secret work+ ( ,provid5ce we h contribut$ to x1 :o kn[s :e!r ! joy we %all feel w n be z int5se1 p]haps sweet]1 ?an ! happ9ess !y !mselves possess8 ,& d y n ?9k t ! great ,sa9ts1 on _! side1 see+ :at !y owe to all little s\ls1 w love !m ) a love beyond comp>e8 ,! fri5d%ips ( ,p>adise w be bo? sweet & full ( surprise1 ( ?is ,i am c]ta94 ,! famili> fri5d ( an ,apo/le1 or ( a great ,doctor ( ! ,*ur*1 may be a %eph]d boy1 & a simple little *ild may be unit$ 9 close/ intimacy ) a ,patri>*4 4 4 4 ,i long to ent] t ,k+dom ( ,love6 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,believe me1 ! writ+ ( pi\s books1 ! compos+ ( ! sublime/ poetry1 all t does n equal ! smalle/ act ( self-d5ial4 ,:51 h[ev]1 our inability to d good gives u pa91 our only res\rce is to (f] up ! good works ( o!rs1 & 9 ?is lies ! b5efit ( ! ,communion ( ,sa9ts4 ,recall to m9d t beautiful v]se ( ! canticle ( our ,fa!r1 ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross3 ',return1 my dove6 ,see on ! height ,! w\nd$ ,h>t1 ,to :om refre%m5t br+s ,! breeze1 /irr$ by ?y w+s4' ,?us ! ,sp\se1 ! w\nd$ ,h>t1 is n attract$ by ! height1 b only by ! breeze f ! p9ions ( ! dove--a breeze :i* "o s+le /roke ( w+ is suffici5t to create4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,! "o ?+ :i* is n op5 to envy is ! l[e/ place4 ,"h alone1 !re=e1 !re is nei!r vanity nor affliction ( _s4 ,yet1 '! way ( a man is n 8 own1'#f & sometimes we f9d ourselves wi%+ = :at dazzles4 ,9 t h\r let u 9 all humility take our place among ! imp]fect1 & look ^u ourselves z little s\ls :o at e in/ant ne$ to be upheld by ! goodness ( ,god4 ,f ! mom5t ,he sees u fully conv9c$ ( our no?+ness1 & he>s u cry out3 ',my foot /umbles1 ,"l1 b ,?y ,m]cy is my /r5g?1'#g ,he rea*es out ,8 ,h& to u4 ,b1 %\ld we attempt great ?+s1 ev5 "u pretext ( zeal1 ,he des]ts u4 ,x suffices1 !re=e1 to humble ourselves1 to be> ) meekness our imp]fections4 ,h]e9 lies--= u--true hol9ess4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o day ,i 0 compla9+ ( be+ m tir$ ?an my ,si/]s1 =1 besides ! ord9>y duties1 ,i _h o!r "w unkn[n to ! re/4 ,soeur ,?rse repli$3 ,i %\ld l always to see y a brave soldi]1 nev] grumblng at h>d%ips1 b consid]+ ! w\nds ( y\r companions z mo/ s]i\s1 & y\r own z m]e scrat*es4 ,y feel ?is fatigue s mu* because no "o is aw>e ( x4 ,n[ ! ,bless$ ,m>g>et ,m>y1 at ! "t %e _h two :itl[s1 confess$ t %e really suff]$ f ! hidd5 "o only4 ,! o!r1 :i* %e 0 unable to hide1 excit$ h] ,si/]s' pity & made h] an object ( compassion4 ,?is is inde$ a v natural feel+1 ! desire t p %\ld "k ( our a*es & pa9s1 b 9 giv+ way to x we play ! c[>d4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 we are guilty ( a fault we mu/ nev] attribute x to "s physical cause1 su* z illness or ! wea!r4 ,we mu/ ascribe x to our own imp]fections1 )\t be+ disc\rag$ !reby4 ',occasions d n make a man frail1 b %[ :at he is4'#h 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,god did n p]mit t our ,"m %\ld tell me to write my poems z soon z ,i _h compos$ !m1 &1 fe>ful ( committ+ a s9 aga9/ pov]ty1 ,i w\ld n ask leave4 ,i _h !re=e to wait = "s free "t1 & at eight o'clock 9 ! ev5+ ,i (t5 f\nd x extremely difficult to rememb] :at ,i _h compos$ 9 ! morn+4 ,true1 ^! trifles are a species ( m>tyrdom2 b we mu/ be c>eful n to alleviate ! pa9 ( ! m>tyrdom by p]mitt+ ourselves1 or secur+ p]mission =1 a ?\s& & "o ?+s :i* w\ld t5d to make ! religi\s life bo? com=table & agreeable4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o day1 z ,i 0 9 te>s1 ,soeur ,?rse told me to avoid ! habit ( all[+ o!rs to see ! trifles t worri$ me1 add+ t no?+ made community life m try+ ?an unev5ness ( temp]4 ,y are inde$ "r1 ,i answ]$1 su* 0 my own ?\ght4 ,h5ce=w>d my te>s w be = ,god alone4 ,i %all confide my worries to ,"o ,:o w und]/& & console me4 ,te>s = ,god6 %e promptly repli$1 t mu/ n be4 ,f> less to ,him ?an to creatures ought y to %[ a m\rnful face4 ,our ,div9e ,ma/] has only our mona/]ies :]e ,he may obta9 "s solace = ,8 ,he>t4 ,he comes to u 9 se>* ( re/--to =get ! unceas+ compla9ts ( ,8 fri5ds 9 ! _w1 :o1 in/ead ( appreciat+ ! value ( ! ,cross1 receive x f> m (t5 ) moans & te>s4 ,w\ld y !n be z ! m$iocre s\ls8 ,frankly1 ?is is n dis9t]e/$ love4 4 4 4 ,x is = u to console our ,"l1 & n = ,him to console u4 ,8 ,he>t is s t5d] t if y cry ,he w dry y\r te>s2 b !reaft] ,he w g away sad1 s9ce y did n suff] ,him to repose tranquilly )9 y4 ,our ,"l loves ! glad ( he>t1 ! *ildr5 t greet ,him ) a smile4 ,:5 w y le>n to hide y\r tr\bles f ,him1 or to tell ,him gaily t y are happy to suff] = ,him8 ,! face is ! mirror ( ! s\l1 %e said once1 & y\rs1 l t ( a cont5t$ little *ild1 %\ld always be calm & s]5e4 ,ev5 :5 alone1 be *e]ful1 rememb]+ always t y are 9 ! sight ( ! ,angels4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i 0 anxi\s %e %\ld congratulate me on :at1 9 my eyes1 0 an h]oic act ( virtue2 b %e said to me3 ,comp>e ?is little act ( virtue ) :at our ,"l has ! "r to expect ( y6 ,r %\ld y humble y\rself = hav+ lo/ s _m opportunities ( prov+ y\r love4 ,little satisfi$ ) ?is answ]1 ,i await$ an opportunity ( f9d+ out h[ ,soeur ,?rse h]self w\ld act "u trial1 & ! occasion 0 n long 9 com+4 ,rev]5d ,"m ask$ u to d "s extremely tir+ "w :i* bri/l$ ) difficulties1 &1 on purpose1 ,i made x /ill m difficult = our ,mi/ress4 ,n = "o second1 h[ev]1 c\ld ,i detect h] 9 fault1 &1 he$less ( ! fatigue involv$1 %e rema9$ graci\s & amiable1 eag] ?r\gh\t to help o!rs at h] own exp5se4 ,at la/ ,i c\ld resi/ no long]1 & ,i confess$ to h] :at my ?\ghts _h be54 ,h[ comes x1 ,i said1 t y c be s pati5t8 ,y are ev] ! same--calm & full ( joy4 ,x 0 n always ! case ) me1 %e repli$1 b s9ce ,i h ab&on$ all ?\ght ( self-seek+1 ,i live ! happie/ life possible4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,our de> ,mi/ress us$ to say t dur+ recreation1 m ?an at any o!r "t1 we %\ld f9d opportunities = practis+ virtue4 ,if y\r desire be to draw great pr(it1 d n g ) ! idea ( procur+ relaxation1 b r ) ! int5tion ( ent]ta9+ o!rs & practis+ complete deta*m5t f self4 ,?us1 = in/ance1 if y are tell+ "o ( ! ,si/]s some?+ y ?9k ent]ta9+1 & %e %\ld int]rupt to tell y some?+ else1 %[ y\rself int]e/$1 ev5 ?\gh 9 reality h] /ory may n int]e/ y 9 ! lea/4 ,be c>eful1 also1 n to try to resume :at y 7 say+4 ,9 ?is way y w leave recreation fill$ ) a great int]ior peace & end[$ ) fre% /r5g? = ! practice ( virtue1 because y h n s\ght to please y\rself1 b o!rs4 ,if only we c\ld realise :at we ga9 by self-d5ial 9 all ?+s6 ,y realise x1 c]ta9ly1 = y h always practis$ self-d5ial4 ,yes1 ,i h =gott5 myself1 & ,i h tri$ n to see myself 9 any?+4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 "s "o knocks at our door1 or :5 we are rung =1 we mu/ practise mortification & refra9 f do+ ev5 ano!r /it* be=e answ]+4 ,i h practis$ ?is myself1 & ,i assure y t x is a s\rce ( peace4 ,aft] ?is advice1 & accord+ z occasion (f]$1 ,i promptly answ]$ e summons4 ,"o day1 dur+ h] illness1 %e 0 witness ( ?is1 & said3 ,at ! h\r ( dea? y w be v happy to f9d ?is to y\r acc\nt4 ,y h j done some?+ m glori\s ?an if1 ?r\gh clev] diplomacy1 y _h procur$ ! good-w ( ! ,gov]nm5t = all religi\s communities & _h be5 proclaim$ ?r\gh\t ,france z a second ,judi?4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,que/ion$ z to h] me?od ( sanctify+ meals1 %e answ]$3 ,9 ! refectory we h b "o ?+ to d3 p]=m a l[ly action ) l(ty ?\ghts4 ,i confess t ! sweete/ aspirations ( love (t5 come to me 9 ! refectory4 ,sometimes ,i am br\ght to a /&/ill by ! ?\ght t 7 ,our ,"l 9 my place ,he w\ld c]ta9ly p>take ( ^? same di%es :i* are s]v$ to me4 ,x is q probable t dur+ ,8 lifetime ,he ta/$ ( simil> food--,he mu/ h eat5 bread & fruit4 ,"h are my little rubrics3 ,i imag9e myself at ,naz>e?1 9 ! h\se ( ! ,holy ,family4 ,if1 = in/ance1 ,i am s]v$ ) salad1 cold fi%1 w9e1 or any?+ pung5t 9 ta/e1 ,i (f] x to ,/4 ,joseph4 ,to our ,bless$ ,lady ,i (f] hot foods & ripe fruit1 & to ! ,infant ,jesus our fea/-day f>e1 especially rice & pres]ves4 ,la/ly1 :5 ,i am s]v$ a wret*$ d9n] ,i say *e]fully3 ',to-day1 my little "o1 x is all = y6' ,?us 9 _m pretty ways %e hid h] mortifications4 ,"o fa/-day1 h[ev]1 :5 our ,rev]5d ,"m ord]$ h] "s special food1 ,i f\nd h] season+ x ) wormwood because x 0 too mu* to h] ta/e4 ,on ano!r occasion ,i saw h] dr9k+ v sl[ly a mo/ unpleasant m$ic9e4 ,make ha/e1 ,i said1 dr9k x (f at once6 ,oh1 no6 %e answ]$2 mu/ ,i n pr(it ( ^! small opportunities = p5ance s9ce ! great] ones are =bidd5 me8 ,t[>d ! end ( h] life ,i le>n$ t1 dur+ h] noviciate1 "o ( our ,si/]s1 :5 fa/5+ ! scapul> = h]1 ran ! l>ge p9 ?r\gh h] %\ld]1 & = h\rs %e bore ! pa9 ) joy4 ,on ano!r occasion %e gave me pro( ( h] int]ior mortification4 ,i _h receiv$ a mo/ int]e/+ lett] :i* 0 read al\d at recreation1 dur+ h] abs5ce4 ,9 ! ev5+ %e express$ ! wi% to read x1 & ,i gave x to h]4 ,lat] on1 :5 %e return$ x1 ,i begg$ h] to tell me :at %e ?\ght ( "o ( ! po9ts ( ! lett] :i* ,i knew ought to h *>m$ h]4 ,%e seem$ r confus$1 & aft] a pause %e answ]$3 ,god ask$ ( me ! sacrifice ( ?is lett] because ( ! eag]ness ,i display$ ! o!r day 4 4 4 s ,i h n read x4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 speak+ to h] ( ! mortifications ( ! ,sa9ts1 %e rem>k$3 ,x 0 well t ,our ,"l w>n$ u3 ',9 ,my ,fa!r's ,h\se !re are _m mansions1 o!rwise ,i w\ld h told y4'#i ,=1 if e s\l call$ to p]fection 7 oblig$ to p]=m ^! au/]ities 9 ord] to ent] ,heav51 ,he w\ld h told u1 & we %\ld h will+ly und]tak5 !m4 ,b ,he has decl>$ t1 '!re are _m mansions 9 ,8 ,h\se4' ,if !re are "s = great s\ls1 = ! ,fa!rs ( ! ,des]t & = ,m>tyrs ( p5ance1 !re mu/ also be "o = little *ildr54 ,& 9 t "o a place is kept = u1 if we b love ,him de>ly toge!r ) ,our ,fa!r & ! ,_s ( ,love4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:ile 9 ! _w1 ,i us$1 on wak+1 to ?9k ( all ! pleasant or unpleasant ?+s :i* might happ5 ?r\gh\t ! day1 & if ,i =esaw no?+ b worries ,i got up ) a heavy he>t4 ,n[ x is q ! rev]se4 ,i ?9k ( ! pa9s & ( ! suff]+s await+ me1 & ,i rise1 feel+ all ! m c\rage\s & light ( he>t 9 proportion to ! opportunities ,i =esee ( prov+ my love = ,our ,"l1 & ( ga9+--"m ( s\ls z ,i am--my *ildr5's livelihood4 ,!n ,i kiss my crucifix1 &1 lay+ x g5tly on my pill[1 ,i leave x !re :ile ,i dress1 & ,i say3 ',my ,jesus1 ,?\ ha/ toil$ & wept en\gh dur+ ,?y ?ree-&-?irty ye>s on ?is mis]able e>?4 ,re/ ,!e1 to-day6 ,x is my turn to suff] & to fight4' 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o wa%+-day ,i 0 saunt]+ t[>ds ! laundry1 & look+ at ! fl[]s z ,i pass$4 ,soeur ,?rse 0 foll[+1 & quickly ov]took me3 ,is t1 %e said quietly1 h[ p hurry !mselves :5 !y h *ildr51 & are oblig$ to "w to procure !m food8 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,d y "k :i* are my ,sundays & fea/-days8 ,!y are ! days on :i* ,god tries me ! mo/4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i 0 di/ress$ at my want ( c\rage1 & ,soeur ,?rse said to me3 ,y are compla9+ ( :at %\ld be y\r greate/ happ9ess4 ,if y f\ght only :5 y felt eag]ness1 :]e w\ld be y\r m]it8 ,:at does x matt]1 ev5 if y are devoid ( c\rage1 provid$ y act z ?\gh y possess$ x8 ,if y feel too lazy to pick up a bit ( ?read1 & yet d s = love ( ,jesus1 y acquire m m]it ?an = a mu* nobl] action done 9 a mom5t ( f]v\r4 ,in/ead ( griev+1 be glad t1 by all[+ y to feel y\r own weakness1 ,our ,"l is furni%+ y ) an opportunity ( sav+ a great] numb] ( s\ls4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i ask$ h] :e!r ,our ,"l 7 n displeas$ at ! sight ( my _m fail+s4 ,?is 0 h] answ]3 ,be com=t$1 = ,he ,:om y h *os5 z y\r ,sp\se has e imag9able p]fection2 b--d>e ,i say x8--,he has "o great infirmity too--,he is bl9d6 ,& !re is a sci5ce ab\t :i* ,he kn[s no?+--addition6 ,^! two great defects1 mu* to be deplor$ 9 an e>?ly bridegroom1 d b make ours inf9itely m lovable4 ,7 x necess>y t ,he %\ld be cle>-sight$1 & famili> ) ! sci5ce ( figures1 d y n ?9k t1 confront$ ) our _m s9s1 ,he w\ld s5d u back to our no?+ness8 ,b ,8 ,love = u makes him actually bl9d4 ,if ! greate/ s9n] on e>? %\ld rep5t at ! mom5t ( 8 dea?1 & draw ,8 la/ brea? 9 an act ( love1 nei!r ! _m graces he _h abus$1 nor ! multipli$ crimes he _h committ$1 w\ld /& 9 8 way4 ,our ,"l w\ld see no?+1 c\nt no?+1 b ! s9n]'s la/ pray]1 & )\t delay ,he w\ld receive him into ! arms ( ,8 ,m]cy4 ,b1 to make ,him ?us bl9d & to prev5t ,him do+ ! smalle/ sum ( addition1 we mu/ approa* ,him ?r\gh ,8 ,he>t--on t side ,he is vuln]able & def5celess4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i _h griev$ h]1 & _h gone to ask h] p>don3 ,if y b knew :at ,i feel6 %e exclaim$4 ,nev] h ,i m cle>ly und]/ood ! love ) :i* ,jesus receives u :5 we seek ,8 =giv5ess4 ,if ,i1 ,8 poor little creature1 feel s t5d]ly t[>ds y :5 y come back to me1 :at mu/ pass ?r\gh ,our ,"l's ,div9e ,he>t :5 we return to ,him8 ,f> m quickly ?an ,i h j done w ,he blot out our s9s f ,8 memory4 4 4 4 ,nay1 ,he w ev5 love u m t5d]ly ?an be=e we fell4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i _h an imm5se dread ( ! judgm5ts ( ,god1 & no argum5t ( ,soeur ,?rse c\ld remove x4 ,"o day ,i put to h] ! foll[+ objection3 ,x is (t5 said to u t 9 ,god's sight ! angels !mselves are n pure4 ,h[1 !re=e1 c y expect me to be o!rwise ?an fill$ ) fe>8 ,%e repli$3 ,!re is b "o means ( compell+ ,god n to judge u1 & x is--to appe> be=e ,him empty-h&$4 ,& h[ c t be done8 ,x is q simple3 lay no?+ by1 sp5d y\r treasures z y ga9 !m4 ,7 ,i to live to be eighty1 ,i %\ld always be poor1 because ,i _c economise4 ,all my e>n+s are imm$iately sp5t on ! ransom ( s\ls4 ,7 ,i to await ! h\r ( dea? to (f] my trifl+ co9s = valuation1 ,our ,"l w\ld n fail to discov] 9 !m "s base metal1 & !y w\ld c]ta9ly h to be ref9$ 9 ,purgatory4 ,is x n record$ ( c]ta9 great ,sa9ts t1 on appe>+ be=e ! ,tribunal ( ,god1 _! h&s lad5 ) m]it1 !y h yet be5 s5t to t place ( expiation1 because 9 ,god's ,eyes all our ju/ice is unclean8 ,b1 ,i repli$1 if ,god does n judge our good actions1 ,he w judge our bad ones4 ,d n say t6 ,our ,"l is ,ju/ice itself1 & if ,he does n judge our good actions1 nei!r w ,he judge our bad ones4 ,x seems to me1 t = ,victims ( ,love !re w be no judgm5t4 ,god w r ha/5 to rew>d ) et]nal delights ,8 own ,love :i* ,he w behold burn+ 9 _! he>ts4 ,to enjoy su* a privilege1 w\ld x suffice to repeat t ,act ( ,oblation :i* y h compos$8 ,oh1 no6 words d n suffice4 ,to be a true ,victim ( ,love we mu/ surr5d] ourselves entirely4 4 4 4 ,love w consume u only 9 ! measure ( our self-surr5d]4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i 0 griev+ bitt]ly ov] a fault ,i _h committ$4 ,take y\r ,crucifix1 %e said1 & kiss x4 ,i kiss$ ! ,feet4 ,is t h[ a *ild kisses its fa!r8 ,?r[ y\r arms at once r\nd ,8 ,neck & kiss ,8 ,face4 ,:5 ,i _h done s1 %e cont9u$3 ,t is n suffici5t--,he mu/ return y\r c>ess4 ,i _h to press ! ,crucifix to bo? my *eeks1 :]eupon %e add$3 ,n[1 all is =giv54 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i told h] "o day t if ,i mu/ be reproa*$ ,i pref]r$ des]v+ x to be+ unju/ly accus$4 ,= my "p1 %e repli$1 ,i pref] to be *>g$ unju/ly1 because1 hav+ no?+ to reproa* myself )1 ,i (f] gladly ?is little inju/ice to ,god4 ,!n1 humbl+ myself1 ,i ?9k h[ easily ,i might h des]v$ ! reproa*4 ,! m y advance1 ! few] ! combats2 or r1 ! m easy ! victory1 because ! good side ( ?+s w be m visible4 ,!n y\r s\l w so> above creatures4 ,z = me1 ,i feel utt]ly indiff]5t to all accusations because ,i h le>n$ ! holl[ness ( human judgm5t4 ,%e add$ fur!r3 ,:5 misund]/ood & judg$ unfav\rably1 :at b5efit d we d]ive f def5d+ ourselves8 ,leave ?+s z !y are1 & say no?+4 ,x is s sweet to all[ ourselves to be judg$ anyh[1 rightly or wrongly4 ,x is n writt5 9 ! ,gospel t ,sa9t ,m>y ,magdal5 put =? excuses :5 *>g$ by h] si/] ) sitt+ idle at ,our ,"l's ,feet4 ,%e did n say3 ',m>?a1 if y knew ! happ9ess t is m9e & if y he>d ! words t ,i he>1 y too w\ld leave ev]y?+ to %>e my joy & my repose4' ,no1 %e pref]r$ to keep sil5t4 4 4 4 ,bless$ sil5ce :i* give? su* peace to ! s\l6 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,at a mom5t ( temptation & /ruggle ,i receiv$ ?is note3 ',! j man %all correct me 9 m]cy & %all reprove me2 b let n ! oil ( ! s9n] p]fume my head4'#aj ,x is only by ! j t ,i c be ei!r reprov$ or correct$1 because all my ,si/]s are pleas+ to ,god4 ,x is less bitt] to be rebuk$ by a s9n] ?an by a j man2 b ?r\gh compassion = s9n]s1 to obta9 _! conv]sion1 ,i besee* ,!e1 ,o my ,god1 to p]mit t ,i may be well rebuk$ by ^? j s\ls :o surr\nd me4 ,i ask also t ! oil ( praise1 s sweet to our nature1 may n p]fume my head1 t is to say1 my m9d1 by mak+ me believe t ,i possess virtues :5 ,i h m]ely p]=m$ a few good actions4 ,jesus6 ',?y ,"n is z oil p\r$ out1'#aa & x is into ?is div9e p]fume t ,i desire :olly to plunge myself1 f> f ! gaze ( mank9d4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,x is n play+ ! game to argue ) a ,si/] t %e is 9 ! wrong1 ev5 :5 x is true1 because we are n answ]able = h] conduct4 ,we mu/ n be ,ju/ices ( ! peace1 b ,angels ( peace only4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,y give y\rselves up too mu* to :at y are do+1 %e us$ to say to u2 y worry ab\t ! future z ?\gh x 7 9 y\r h&s4 ,are y mu* conc]n$ at ?is mom5t z to :at is happ5+ 9 o!r ,c>melite conv5ts1 & :e!r ! nuns !re are busy or o!rwise8 ,does _! "w prev5t y pray+ or m$itat+8 ,well1 j 9 ! same way1 y ought to deta* y\rselves f y\r own p]sonal lab\rs1 consci5ti\sly sp5d+ on !m ! "t prescrib$1 b ) p]fect fre$om ( he>t4 ,we read t ! ,israelites1 :ile build+ ! walls ( ,j]usalem1 work$ ) "o h& & held a sword 9 ! o!r4#ab ,?is is an image ( :at we %\ld d3 avoid be+ :olly absorb$ 9 our "w4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ,sunday1 ,?rse relates1 ,i 0 go+ t[>d ! *e/nut av5ue1 full ( rejoic+1 = x 0 spr+-"t1 & ,i want$ to enjoy nature's beauties4 ,:at a bitt] disappo9tm5t6 ,my de> *e/nuts _h be5 prun$1 & ! bran*es1 already cov]$ ) buds1 n[ lay on ! gr\nd4 ,on see+ ?is havoc1 & ?9k+ t ?ree ye>s mu/ elapse be=e x c\ld be repair$1 my he>t felt v sore4 ,b ! grief did n la/ long4 ',if ,i 7 9 ano!r conv5t1' ,i reflect$1 ':at w\ld x matt] to me if ! *e/nut-trees ( ! ,c>mel at ,lisieux 7 entirely cut d[n8' ,i w n worry ab\t ?+s t pass4 ,god %all be my all4 ,i w take my walks 9 ! wood$ groves ( ,8 ,love1 :]eon none d>e lay h&s4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,a novice ask$ h] ,si/]s to help h] %ake "s blankets4 ,z !y 7 some:at liable to te> because ( _! worn condition1 %e insi/$1 r %>ply1 on _! be+ h&l$ ) c>e4 ,:at w\ld y d1 said ,?rse to ! impati5t "o1 if x 7 n y\r duty to m5d ^! blankets8 ,!re w\ld be no ?\ght ( self 9 ! matt]1 & if y did call att5tion to ! fact t !y are easily torn1 x w\ld be done 9 q an imp]sonal way4 ,9 all y\r actions1 y %\ld avoid ! lea/ trace ( self-seek+4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,see+ "o ( our ,si/]s v mu* fatigu$1 ,i said to ,soeur ,?rse3 ,x grieves me to see p suff]1 especially ^? :o are holy4 ,%e in/antly repli$3 ,i d n feel z y d4 ,sa9ts :o suff] nev] excite my pity4 ,i "k !y h /r5g? to be> _! suff]+s1 & t ?r\gh !m !y are giv+ great glory to ,god4 ,b ,i compassionate greatly ^? :o are n ,sa9ts1 & :o d n "k h[ to pr(it by suff]+4 ,!y inde$ awake my pity4 ,i w\ld /ra9 e n]ve to help & com=t !m4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,7 ,i to live long]1 x is ! (fice ( ,infirm>ian t w\ld mo/ please me4 ,i w\ld n ask = x1 b 7 x impos$ ?r\gh ob$i5ce1 ,i %\ld consid] myself highly fav\r$4 ,i ?9k ,i %\ld fulfill its duties ) mu* affection1 always m9dful ( ,our ,"l's words3 ',i 0 sick1 & y visit$ ,me4'#ac ,! infirm>y bell %\ld be = y z heav5ly music1 & y ought purposely to pass by ! w9d[s ( ! sick t x might be easy = !m to summon y4 ,consid] y\rself z a little slave :om ev]yone has ! "r to comm&4 ,c\ld y b see ! ,angels :o f ! heights ( ,heav5 wat* y\r combats 9 ! ar5a6 ,!y are await+ ! end ( ! fight to cr[n y & cov] y ) fl[]s4 ,y "k t we claim to rank z little ,m>tyrs 4 4 4 4 b we mu/ w9 our palms4 ,god does n despise ^! hidd5 /ruggles ) ourselves1 s mu* ri*] 9 m]it because !y are unse53 ',! pati5t man is bett] ?an ! valiant1 & he t rule? 8 _s ?an he t take? cities4'#ad ,?r\gh our little acts ( *>ity1 practis$ 9 ! d>k1 z x 71 we obta9 ! conv]sion ( ! hea!n1 help ! mission>ies1 & ga9 = !m pl5tiful alms1 ?us build+ bo? spiritual & mat]ial dwell+s = ,our ,eu*>i/ic ,god4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i _h se5 ,"m ,prioress %[+1 z ,i ?\ght1 m confid5ce & affection to "o ( our ,si/]s ?an %e ext5d$ to me4 ,expect+ to w9 sympa?y1 ,i told my tr\ble to ,soeur ,?rse1 & great 0 my surprise :5 %e put me ! "q3 ,d y ?9k y love our ,"m v mu*8 ,c]ta9ly6 o!rwise ,i %\ld be indiff]5t if o!rs 7 pref]r$ to me4 ,well1 ,i %all prove t y are absolutely mi/ak51 & t x is n our ,"m t y love1 b y\rself4 ,:5 we really love o!rs1 we rejoice at _! happ9ess1 & we make e sacrifice to procure x4 ,!re=e if y _h ?is true1 dis9t]e/$ affection1 & lov$ our ,"m = h] own sake1 y w\ld be glad to see h] f9d pleasure ev5 at y\r exp5se2 & s9ce y ?9k %e has less satisfaction 9 talk+ ) y ?an ) ano!r ,si/]1 y ought n to grieve at be+ app>5tly neglect$4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i 0 di/ress$ at my _m di/ractions dur+ pray]s3 ,i also h _m1 %e said1 b z soon z ,i am aw>e ( !m1 ,i pray = ^? p ! ?\ght ( :om is div]t+ my att5tion1 & 9 ?is way !y reap b5efit f my di/ractions4 4 4 4 ,i accept all = ! love ( ,god1 ev5 ! wilde/ fancies t cross my m9d4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i 0 regrett+ a p9 :i* ,i _h be5 ask$ =1 & :i* ,i _h f\nd mo/ useful4 ,h[ ri* y are1 said ,?rse1 y w nev] be happy6 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,! grotto ( ! ,holy ,*ild 0 9 h] *>ge1 &1 kn[+ t "o ( our ,mo!rs greatly dislik$ p]fumes1 %e nev] put any sweet-smell+ fl[]s !re1 n ev5 a t9y violet4 ,?is co/ h] _m a real sacrifice4 ,"o day1 j z %e _h plac$ a beautiful artificial rose at ! foot ( ! /atue1 ! ,"m call$ h]4 ,soeur ,?rse1 surmis+ t x 0 to bid h] remove ! rose1 0 anxi\s to sp>e h] any humiliation4 ,%e !re=e took ! fl[] to ! good ,si/]1 &1 =e/all+ all obs]vations1 said3 ,look1 ,"m1 h[ well nature is imitat$ n[adays3 w\ld y n ?9k ?is rose _h be5 fre%ly ga!r$ f ! g>d58 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,!re are mom5ts1 %e told u1 :5 we are s mis]able )91 t !re is no?+ = x b to get away f ourselves4 ,at ^? times ,god does n oblige u to rema9 at home4 ,he ev5 p]mits our own company to become di/a/eful to u 9 ord] t we may leave x4 ,n[ ,i "k no o!r means ( exit save ?r\gh ! doorway ( *>itable works1 on a visit to ,jesus & ,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 ,i picture ! ,holy ,family1 ! ?\ght t does me mo/ good is--! simplicity ( _! home-life4 ,our ,lady & ,/4 ,joseph 7 well aw>e t ,jesus 0 ,god1 :ile at ! same "t great wond]s 7 hidd5 f !m1 &--l u--!y liv$ by fai?4 ,y h he>d ^? words ( ! ,gospel3 ',!y und]/ood n ! ^w t ,he spoke unto !m'2#ae & ^? o!rs no less my/]i\s3 ',8 ,fa!r & ,"m 7 wond]+ at ^? ?+s :i* 7 spok5 conc]n+ ,him4'#af ,!y seem$ to be le>n+ some?+ new1 = ?is ^w 'wond]+' implies a c]ta9 am\nt ( surprise4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,!re is a v]se 9 ! ,div9e ,(fice :i* ,i recite ea* day ) reluctance3 ',i h incl9$ my he>t to d ,?y ju/ifications = ev]1 because ( ! rew>d4'#ag ,i ha/5 to add 9 my he>t3 ',my ,jesus1 ,?\ kn[e/ ,i d n s]ve ,!e = sake ( rew>d1 b solely out ( love1 & a desire to w9 ,!e s\ls4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 ,heav5 only %all we be 9 possession ( ! cle> tru?4 ,on e>?1 ev5 9 matt]s ( ,holy ,scripture1 our vision is dim4 ,x di/resses me to see ! diff]5ces 9 its translations1 & _h ,i be5 a ,prie/ ,i w\ld h le>n$ ,hebrew1 s z to read ! ,^w ( ,god z ,he deign$ to utt] x 9 human spee*4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,soeur ,?rse (t5 spoke to me ( a well-kn[n toy ) :i* %e _h amus$ h]self :5 a *ild4 ,?is 0 ! kaleidoscope1 %ap$ l a small telescope1 ?r\gh :i*1 z x is made to revolve1 "o p]ceives an endless v>iety ( pretty-col\r$ figures4 ,?is toy1 %e said1 excit$ my admiration1 & ,i wond]$ :at c\ld provide s *>m+ a ph5om5on1 :5 "o day1 aft] a l5g?y exam9ation1 ,i f\nd t x consi/$ simply ( t9y bits ( pap] & clo? scatt]$ inside4 ,a fur!r exam9ation reveal$ t !re 7 ?ree mirrors inside ! tube1 & ! problem 0 solv$4 ,x became = me ! illu/ration ( a great tru?4 ,s long z our actions1 ev5 ! mo/ trivial1 rema9 )9 ,love's kaleidoscope1 s long ! ,bless$ ,tr9ity1 figur$ by ! ?ree mirrors1 imp>ts to !m a wond]ful brightness & beauty4 ,! eye-piece is ,jesus ,*ri/1 & ,he1 look+ f outside ?r\gh ,himself into ! kaleidoscope1 f9ds p]fect all our works4 ,b1 %\ld we leave t ineffable abode ( ,love1 ,he w\ld see b ! rags & *aff ( unclean & wor?less de$s4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i told ,soeur ,?rse ( ! /range ph5om5a produc$ by magnetism on p]sons :o surr5d] _! w to ! hypnotis]4 ,x seem$ to int]e/ h] greatly1 & next day %e said to me3 ,y\r conv]sation ye/]day did me s mu* good6 ,h[ ,i long to be hypnotis$ by ,our ,"l6 ,x 0 my wak+ ?\ght1 & v]ily x 0 sweet to surr5d] ,him my w4 ,i want ,him to take possession ( my faculties 9 su* wise t my acts may no m be m9e1 or human1 b ,div9e--inspir$ & guid$ by ! ,_s ( ,love4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,be=e my pr(ession ,i receiv$ ?r\gh my sa9tly ,novice-mi/ress a v special grace4 ,we _h be5 wa%+ all day4 ,i 0 worn-out ) fatigue & h>ass$ ) spiritual worries4 ,t night1 be=e m$itation1 ,i want$ to speak to h]1 b %e dismiss$ me ) ! rem>k3 ,t is ! bell = m$itation1 & ,i h n "t to console y2 besides1 ,i see pla9ly t x w\ld be useless tr\ble4 ,= ! pres5t1 ,god wi%es y to suff] alone4 ,i foll[$ h] to m$itation s disc\rag$ t1 = ! fir/ "t1 ,i d\bt$ ( my vocation4 ,i %\ld nev] be able to be a ,c>melite4 ,! life 0 too h>d4 ,i _h be5 kneel+ = "s m9utes1 :5 all at once1 9 ! mid/ ( ?is int]ior /ruggle--)\t hav+ ask$ or ev5 wi%$ = peace--,i felt a sudd5 & extraord9>y *ange ( s\l4 ,i no long] knew myself4 ,my vocation appe>$ to me bo? lovely & lovable4 ,i saw ! sweetness & priceless value ( suff]+4 ,all ! privations & fatigues ( ! religi\s life appe>$ to me inf9itely pref]able to worldly pleasures1 & ,i came away f my m$itation completely trans=m$4 ,next day ,i told my ,mi/ress :at _h tak5 place1 &1 see+ %e 0 deeply t\*$1 ,i begg$ to "k ! reason4 ,god is good1 %e exclaim$4 ,la/ ev5+ y inspir$ me ) su* pr(\nd pity t ,i pray$ incessantly = y at ! beg9n+ ( m$itation4 ,i bes\ght ,our ,"l to br+ y com=t1 to *ange y\r dispositions1 & %[ y ! value ( suff]+4 ,he has inde$ he>d my pray]s4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,be+ some:at ( a *ild 9 my ways1 ! ,holy ,*ild--to help me 9 ! practice ( virtue--inspir$ me ) ! ?\ght ( amus+ myself ) ,him1 & ,i *ose ! game ( n9ep9s4 ,i imag9$ !m ( all sizes & col\rs1 repres5t+ ! s\ls ,i wi%$ to rea*4 ,! ball 0--love4 ,9 ,decemb]1 #ahif1 ! novices receiv$1 = ! b5efit ( ! ,=eign ,missions1 v>i\s trifles t[>ds a ,*ri/mas tree1 & at ! bottom ( ! box conta9+ !m 0 a top--a r>e ?+ 9 a ,c>melite conv5t4 ,my companions rem>k$3 ,:at an ugly ?+6--( :at use w x be8 ,b ,i1 :o knew ! game1 caught hold ( x1 exclaim+3 ,nay1 :at fun6 x w sp9 a :ole day )\t /opp+ if x be well :ipp$2 & !reupon ,i spun x ar\nd to _! great surprise4 ,soeur ,?rse 0 quietly wat*+ u1 & on ,*ri/mas night1 aft] midnight ,mass1 ,i f\nd 9 our cell ! fam\s top1 ) a delightful lett] address$ z foll[s3 ,to ,my ,belov$ ,little ,sp\se ,play] ( ,n9ep9s on ! ,m\nta9 ( ,c>mel ,*ri/mas ,night1 #ahif4 ,,my ,,belov$ ,,little ,,sp\se1--,i am well pleas$ ) !e6 ,all ! ye> r\nd ?\ ha/ amus$ ,me by play+ at n9ep9s4 ,i 0 s ov]joy$ t ! :ole c\rt ( ,angels 0 surpris$ & *>m$4 ,sev]al little *]ubs h ask$ me :y ,i did n make !m *ildr54 ,o!rs want$ to "k if ! melody ( _! in/rum5ts 7 n m pleas+ to me ?an ?y joy\s laugh :5 a n9ep9 fell at ! /roke ( ?y love-ball4 ,my answ] to !m 01 t !y mu/ n regret !y are n *ildr51 s9ce "o day !y w\ld play ) !e 9 ! mead[s ( ,heav54 ,i told !m also t ?y smiles 7 c]ta9ly m sweet to ,me ?an _! h>monies1 because ^! smiles 7 pur*as$ by suff]+ & =getfulness ( self4 ,& n[1 my *]i%$ ,sp\se1 x is my turn to ask some?+ ( !e4 ,?\ wilt n refuse ,me--?\ love/ ,me too mu*4 ,let u *ange ! game4 ,n9ep9s amuse me greatly1 b at pres5t ,i %\ld l to play at sp9n+ a top1 &1 if ?\ do/ cons5t1 ?\ %alt be ! top4 ,i give !e "o z a model4 ,?\ see/ t x is ugly to look at1 & w\ld be kick$ aside by :osoev] did n "k ! game4 ,b at ! sight ( x a *ild w\ld leap = joy & %\t3 ,:at fun6 x w sp9 a :ole day )\t /opp+6 ,al?\gh ?\ too art n attractive1 ,i--! little ,jesus--love !e1 & beg ( !e to keep always sp9n+ to amuse ,me4 ,true1 x ne$s a :ip to make a top sp94 ,!n let ?y ,si/]s supply ! :ip1 & be ?\ mo/ grateful to ^? :o %all make !e turn fa/e/4 ,:5 ,i %all h _h pl5ty ( fun1 ,i w br+ !e to jo9 ,me "h1 & our games %all be full ( unalloy$ delight4--,?y little ,bro!r1 ,,jesus4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i _h ! habit ( con/antly cry+ ab\t ! m]e/ trifles1 & ?is 0 a s\rce ( great pa9 to ,soeur ,?rse4 ,"o day a bright idea occurr$ to h]3 tak+ a mussel-%ell f h] pa9t+ table1 &1 hold+ my h&s le/ ,i %\ld prev5t h]1 %e ga!r$ my te>s 9 ! %ell1 & soon !y 7 turn$ into m]ry laught]4 ,!re1 %e said1 f ?is onw>ds ,i p]mit y to cry z mu* z y l on condition t x is into ! %ell6 ,a week1 h[ev]1 be=e h] dea? ,i sp5t a :ole ev5+ 9 te>s at ! ?\ght ( h] fa/-approa*+ end4 ,%e knew x1 & said3 ,y h be5 cry+4 ,0 x into ! %ell8 ,i 0 unable to tell an untru?1 & my answ] griev$ h]4 ,i am go+ to die1 %e cont9u$1 & ,i %all n be at re/ ab\t y unless y promise to foll[ fai?fully my advice4 ,i consid] x ( ! utmo/ importance = ! good ( y\r s\l4 ,i promis$ :at %e ask$1 begg+ leave1 h[ev]1 z a fav\r1 to be all[$ to cry at h] dea?4 ,b1 %e answ]$1 :y cry at my dea?8 ,^? te>s w c]ta9ly be useless4 ,y w be bewail+ my happ9ess6 ,/ill ,i h pity on y\r weakness1 & = ! fir/ few days y h leave to cry1 ?\gh aft]w>ds y mu/ aga9 take up ! %ell4 ,x has co/ me "s h]oic ef=ts1 b ,i h be5 fai?ful4 ,i h kept ! %ell at h&1 & ea* "t ! wi% to cry ov]came me1 ,i laid hold ( ! pitiless ?+4 ,h[ev] urg5t ! te>s1 ! tr\ble ( pass+ x f "o eye to ! o!r s di/ract$ my ?\ghts1 t be=e v long ?is +5i\s me?od entirely cur$ me ( my s5sibility4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,ow+ to a fault :i* _h caus$ ,soeur ,?rse mu* pa91 b ( :i* ,i _h deeply rep5t$1 ,i int5d$ to deprive myself ( ,holy ,communion4 ,i wrote to h] ( my resolution1 & ?is 0 h] reply3 ,little fl[]1 mo/ de> to ,jesus1 by ?is humiliation y\r roots are fe$+ ^u ! e>?4 ,y mu/ n[ op5 wide y\r petals1 or r lift high y\r head1 s t ! ,manna ( ! ,angels may1 l a div9e dew1 come d[n to /r5g!n y & supply all y\r wants4 ,good-night1 poor little fl[]6 ,ask ( ,jesus t all ! pray]s (f]$ = my cure may s]ve to increase ! fire :i* ought to consume me4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,at ! mom5t ( ,communion ,i sometimes lik5 my s\l to t ( a little *ild ( ?ree or f\r1 ^: hair has be5 ruffl$ & clo!s soil$ at play4 ,?is is a picture ( :at befalls me 9 my /ruggl+ ) s\ls4 ,b ,our ,bless$ ,lady comes promptly to ! rescue1 takes (f my soil$ p9a=e1 & arranges my hair1 adorn+ x ) a pretty ribbon or a simple fl[]4 4 4 4 ,!n ,i am q nice1 & able1 )\t any %ame1 to seat myself at ! ,banquet ( ,angels4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 ! infirm>y we sc>cely wait$ = ! end ( h] ?anksgiv+ be=e seek+ h] advice4 ,at fir/1 ?is some:at di/ress$ h]1 & %e w\ld make g5tle reproa*es1 b soon %e yield$ to u1 say+3 ,i mu/ n wi% = m re/ ?an ,our ,"l4 ,:5 ,he )drew into ! des]t aft] prea*+1 ! cr[ds w\ld come & intrude ^u ,8 solitude4 ,come1 !n1 to me z mu* z y l2 ,i mu/ die sword 9 h&--'! sword ( ! ,_s1 :i* is ! ,^w ( ,god4'#ah 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,advise u1 we said to h]1 h[ to pr(it by our spiritual in/ructions4 ,g = guidance ) great simplicity1 n c\nt+ too mu* on help :i* may fail y at any mom5t4 ,y w\ld !n h to say ) ! ,sp\se 9 ! ,canticles3 ',! keep]s took away my cloak & w\nd$ me2 :5 ,i _h a little pass$ by !m1 ,i f\nd ,him :om my s\l love?4'#ai ,if y ask ) humility & ) deta*m5t aft] y\r ,belov$1 ! keep]s w tell y4 ,m (t51 y w f9d ,jesus only :5 y h pass$ by all creatures4 ,_m times h ,i repeat$ ?is v]se ( ! ,spiritual ,canticle ( ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross3 ',mess5g]s1 ,i pray1 no m ,betwe5 u s5d1 :o "k n h[ ,to tell me :at my _s longs to "k4 ,= !y ,?y *>ms :o read--,= ev] tell+ ( a ?\s& m--,make all my w\nds to ble$1 ,:ile deep] !n be=e ,do? an--,i "k n :at6--my _s grieve ,) /amm]+s vague1 & ( all life b]eave4' 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,if1 suppos+ ! impossible1 ,god ,himself c\ld n see my good actions1 ,i w\ld n be tr\bl$4 ,i love ,him s mu* ,i w\ld l to give ,him joy )\t ,8 kn[+ :o gave4 ,:5 ,he sees ! gift be+ made1 ,he is1 z x 71 oblig$ to make a return4 4 4 4 ,i %\ld wi% to sp>e ,him ! tr\ble4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,_h ,i be5 ri*1 ,i c\ld nev] h se5 a poor p]son hungry )\t giv+ him to eat4 ,?is is my way also 9 ! spiritual life4 ,!re are _m s\ls on ! br9k ( hell1 & z my e>n+s come to h& !y are scatt]$ among ^! s9n]s4 ,! "t has nev] yet be5 :5 ,i c\ld say3 ',n[ ,i am go+ to "w = myself4' 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,!re are p :o make ! wor/ ( ev]y?+4 ,z = me1 ,i d j ! contr>y4 ,i always see ! good side ( ?+s1 & ev5 if my portion be suff]+1 )\t a glimm] ( solace1 well1 ,i make x my joy4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:atev] has come f ,god's ,h&s has always pleas$ me1 ev5 ^? ?+s :i* h seem$ to me less good & less beautiful ?an ! gifts made to o!rs4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 /ay+ ) my aunt1 :ile ,i 0 /ill a little girl1 ,i 0 giv5 a c]ta9 book to read4 ,9 "o ( ! /ories great praise 0 be/[$ on a s*oolmi/ress :o by h] tact escap$ f e difficulty )\t hurt+ anyone's feel+s4 ,h] me?od ( say+ to "o p]son3 ',y are "r1' & to ano!r3 ',y are n wrong1' /ruck me p>ticul>ly1 & z ,i read ,i reflect$ t ,i w\ld n h act$ 9 t way because we %\ld always tell ! tru?4 ,& ?is ,i always d1 ?\gh ,i grant x is mu* m difficult4 ,x w\ld be f> less tr\ble = u1 :5 told ( a worry1 to ca/ ! blame on ! abs5t4 ,less tr\ble 4 4 4 nev]!less ,i d j ! contr>y1 & if ,i am dislik$ x _c be help$4 ,let ! novices n come to me if !y d n want to le>n ! tru?4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,be=e a repro(#bj be> fruit x mu/ co/ some?+ & be free f ! lea/ trace ( passion4 ,k9dness mu/ n deg5]ate into weakness4 ,:5 we h _h good reason = f9d+ fault1 we mu/ leave x1 & n all[ ourselves to worry ov] hav+ giv5 pa94 ,to seek out ! del9qu5t = ! purpose ( consol+ h]1 is to d m h>m ?an good4 ,left alone1 %e is compell$ to look beyond creatures1 & to turn to ,god2 %e is =c$ to see h] faults & to humble h]self4 ,o!rwise %e w\ld become accu/om$ to expect consolation aft] a m]it$ rebuke1 & w\ld act l a spoilt *ild :o /amps & screams1 kn[+ well t by ?is means its "m w be =c$ to return & dry its te>s4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ',let ! sword ( ! ,_s1 :i* is ! ,^w ( ,god1 be ev] 9 y\r m\? & 9 y\r he>ts4'#ba ,if we f9d any "o p>ticul> p]son disagreeable we %\ld nev] be di%e>t5$1 mu* less cease our endeav\r to re=m t s\l4 ,we %\ld wield ! sword ( ! ,_s1 & s correct h] faults4 ,?+s %\ld nev] be all[$ to pass = ! sake ( our own ease4 ,we mu/ c>ry on ! w> ev5 :5 !re is no hope ( victory4 ,success matt]s no?+1 & we mu/ fight on & nev] compla93 ',i %all ga9 no?+ f t s\l1 %e does n und]/&1 !re is no?+ = x b to ab&on h]4' ,t w\ld be ! act ( a c[>d4 ,we mu/ d our duty to ! v end4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,=m]ly1 if any ( my fri5ds 7 9 tr\ble1 & ,i did n succe$ 9 consol+ !m :5 !y came to see me1 ,i left ! p>l\r q he>t-brok54 ,soon1 h[ev]1 ,our ,"l made me und]/& h[ incapable ,i 0 ( br++ com=t to a s\l1 & f t day ,i no long] griev$ :5 my visitors w5t away d[nca/4 ,i confid$ to ,god ! suff]+s ( ^? s de> to me1 & ,i felt sure t ,he he>d my pray]4 ,at _! next visit ,i le>n$ t ,i 0 n mi/ak54 ,aft] ?is exp]i5ce1 ,i no long] worry :5 ,i h involunt>ily giv5 pa94 4 4 4 ,i simply ask ,our ,"l to make am5ds4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,:at d y ?9k ( all ! graces t h be5 heap$ ^u y8--,i ?9k '! ,_s ( ,god brea!? :]e ,he w4'#bb 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,"m1 %e "o day said to ! ,prioress1 7 ,i unfai?ful1 7 ,i to commit ev5 ! smalle/ infidelity1 ,i feel t my s\l w\ld be plung$ into ! mo/ t]rible angui%1 & ,i %\ld be unable to welcome dea?4 ,"m ,prioress ev9c$ surprise at he>+ h] speak 9 ?is /ra91 & %e cont9u$3 ,i am speak+ ( infidelity 9 ! matt] ( pride4 ,if1 = example1 ,i 7 to say3 ',i h acquir$ su* or su* a virtue & ,i c practise x'2 or aga93 ',my ,god1 ,?\ kn[e/ ,i love ,!e too mu* to dwell on "o s+le ?\ght aga9/ fai?1' /raightway ,i %\ld be assail$ by ! mo/ dang]\s temptations & %\ld c]ta9ly yield4 ,to prev5t ?is mis=tune ,i h b to say humbly & f my he>t3 ',my ,god1 ,i besee* ,!e n to let me be unfai?ful4' ,i und]/& cle>ly h[ ,/4 ,pet] fell4 ,he plac$ too mu* reliance on 8 own ard5t nature1 in/ead ( lean+ solely on ! ,div9e /r5g?4 ,_h he only said3 ',"l1 give me /r5g? to foll[ ,!e unto dea?6' ! grace w\ld n h be5 refus$ him4 ,h[ is x1 ,"m1 t ,our ,"l1 kn[+ :at 0 ab\t to happ51 did n say to him3 ',ask ( ,me ! /r5g? to d :at is 9 ?y m9d8' ,i ?9k ,8 purpose 0 to give u a tw(old lesson--fir/3 t ,he taught ,8 ,apo/les no?+ by ,8 pres5ce :i* ,he does n tea* u ?r\gh ! inspirations ( grace2 & secondly3 t1 hav+ made *oice ( ,/4 ,pet] to gov]n ! :ole ,*ur*1 :]e9 !re are _m s9n]s1 ,he wi%$ him to te/ 9 himself :at man c d )\t ,god's help4 ,?is is :y ,jesus said to him be=e 8 fall3 ',?\ be+ once conv]t$ confirm ?y bre?r5'2#bc t is1 ',tell !m ! /ory ( ?y s9--%[ !m by ?y own exp]i5ce1 h[ necess>y x is = salvation to rely solely ^u ,me4' 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i 0 mu* afflict$ at see+ h] ill1 & ,i (t5 exclaim$3 ,life is s dre>y6 ,life is n dre>y--%e w\ld imm$iately say2 on ! contr>y1 x is mo/ gay4 ,n[ if y said3 ',exile is dre>y1' ,i c\ld und]/&4 ,x is a mi/ake to call 'life' t :i* mu/ h an end4 ,su* a ^w %\ld be only us$ ( ! joys ( ,heav5--joys t are unfad+--& 9 ?is true mean+ life is n sad b gay--mo/ gay4 4 4 4 ,h] own gaiety 0 a ?+ ( delight4 ,= sev]al days %e _h be5 mu* bett]1 & we 7 say+ to h]3 ,we d n yet "k ( :at disease y w die4 4 4 4 ,b1 %e answ]$1 ,i %all die ( dea?6 ,did n ,god tell ,adam ( :at he w\ld die :5 ,he said to him3 ',?\ %alt die ( dea?'8#bd ,!n dea? w come to fet* y8--,no1 n dea?1 b ! ,good ,god4 ,dea? is n1 z pictures tell u1 a phantom1 a horrid spectre4 ,! ,cate*ism says t x is ! sep>ation ( s\l & body--no m6 ,well1 ,i d n fe> a sep>ation :i* w unite me = ev] to ,god4 ,w ! ,div9e ,?ief1 "s "o ask$1 soon come to /eal ,8 little bun* ( grapes8 ,i see ,him 9 ! di/ance1 & ,i take good c>e n to cry out3 ',/op ?ief6' ,r1 ,i call to ,him3 ',?is way1 ?is way6' 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,ask$ "u :at "n we %\ld pray to h] 9 ,heav51 %e answ]$ humbly3 ,call me ,little ,?rse4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i 0 tell+ h] t ! mo/ beautiful angels1 all rob$ 9 :ite1 w\ld be> h] s\l to ,heav53 ,fancies l ^?1 %e answ]$1 d n help me1 & my s\l c only fe$ ^u tru?4 ,god & ,8 ,angels are pure spirits4 ,no human eye c see !m z !y really are4 ,t is :y ,i h nev] ask$ extraord9>y fav\rs4 ,i pref] to await ! ,et]nal ,vision4 ,to console me at y\r dea? ,i h ask$ ,god to s5d me a beautiful dream4--,t is a ?+ ,i w\ld nev] d 4 4 4 ask = consolations4 ,s9ce y wi% to resemble me1 y "k :at are my ideas on ?is3 ',fe> n1 ,o ,"l1 t ,i %all wak5 ,!e3 ,i %all await 9 peace ! ,heav5ly ,%ore4' ,x is s sweet to s]ve ,god 9 ! d>k night & 9 ! mid/ ( trial4 ,aft] all1 we h b ?is life 9 :i* to live by fai?4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i am happy at ! ?\ght ( go+ to ,heav51 b :5 ,i reflect on ^! words ( ,our ,"l3 ',i come quickly1 & ,my rew>d is ) ,me1 to r5d] to e man accord+ to 8 works1'#be ,i ?9k t ,he w f9d my case a puzzle3 ,i h no works4 4 4 4 ,well1 ,he w r5d] unto me accord+ to ,8 own works6 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,! *ief pl5>y indulg5ce1 :i* is )9 rea* ( ev]ybody1 & c be ga9$ )\t ! ord9>y conditions1 is t ( *>ity--:i* 'cov]e? a multitude ( s9s4'#bf 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,surely y w n ev5 pass ?r\gh ,purgatory4 ,if su* a ?+ %\ld happ51 !n c]ta9ly nobody goes /raight to ,heav54--,t gives me little ?\ght4 ,i %all be q cont5t ) ! ,m]ciful ,god's decision4 ,%\ld ,i g to ,purgatory1 ,i %all--l ! ?ree ,hebrew *ildr5 9 ! furnace--walk amid ! flames s++ ! ,canticle ( ,love4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 ,heav5 y w be plac$ among ! ,s]aphim4 ,if s1 ,i %all n imitate !m4 ,at ! sight ( ,god !y cov] !mselves ) _! w+s#bg3 ,i %all take good c>e n to hide myself ) m9e4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i %[$ h] a picture :i* repres5t$ ,joan ( ,arc be+ com=t$ 9 prison by h] ,voices1 & %e rem>k$3 ,i also am com=t$ by an int]ior voice4 ,f above1 ! ,sa9ts enc\rage me1 say+3 ',s long z ?\ art a captive 9 *a9s1 ?\ can/ n fulfill ?y mission1 b lat] on1 aft] ?y dea?1 w come ?y day ( triumph4' 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 ,heav51 ,god w d all ,i desire1 because on e>? ,i h nev] done my own w4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,y w look d[n ^u u f ,heav51 w y n8--,no1 ,i w come d[n4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,"s mon?s be=e ! dea? ( ,soeur ,?rse1 ,! ,life ( ,/4 ,aloysius 0 be+ read 9 ! refectory1 & "o ( ! ,mo!rs 0 /ruck by ! mutual & t5d] affection :i* exi/$ betwe5 ! "y ,sa9t & ! ag$ ,jesuit1 ,fa!r ,corb9elli4 ,y are little ,aloysius1 %e said to ,?rse1 & ,i am old ,fa!r ,corb9elli--be m9dful ( me :5 y ent] ,heav54 ,w\ld y l me to fet* y ?i!r soon1 de> ,"m8 ,no1 ,i h n yet suff]$ en\gh4 ,nay1 ,"m1 ,i tell y t y h suff]$ q en\gh4 ,to :i* ,"m ,h]mance repli$3 ,i d>e n say ,yes4 4 4 4 ,9 s grave a matt] ,i mu/ h ! sanction ( au?ority4 ,s ! reque/ 0 made to ,"m ,prioress1 :o1 )\t atta*+ mu* importance to x1 gave h] sanction4 ,n[1 on "o ( ! la/ days ( h] life1 ,soeur ,?rse1 sc>cely able to speak ow+ to h] great weakness1 receiv$ ?r\gh ! infirm>ian a b\quet ( fl[]s4 ,x _h be5 ga!r$ by ,"m ,h]mance1 & 0 accompani$ by an entreaty = "o ^w ( affection4 ,! message3 ,tell ,"m ,h]mance ( ! ,he>t ( ,jesus t dur+ ,mass ?is morn+ ,i saw ,fa!r ,corb9elli's grave close to t ( little ,aloysius4 ,t is well1 repli$ ! good ,"m1 greatly t\*$2 tell ,soeur ,?rse t ,i h und]/ood4 4 4 4 ,& f t mom5t %e felt conv9c$ h] dea? 0 ne>4 ,x took place j "o ye> lat]1 &1 accord+ to ! pr$iction ( ! ,little ,aloysius1 ! two graves lie side by side4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,! la/ words p5n$ by ! h& ( ,soeur ,?rse 73 ,o ,m>y1 7 ,i ,que5 ( ,heav51 & w]t ?\ ,?rse1 ,i %\ld wi% to be ,?rse1 t ,i might see !e ,que5 ( ,heav56 #a ,cf4 ,matt4 #bj3bc4 #b ,cf4 ,ps4 #fgfh3bh4 #c ,cf4 ,prov4 #a3d4 #d ,judi? #ae3aa4 #e ,ecclus4 #aa3ab1 #ac1 #bb1 #bc1 #bd4 #f ,j]4 #aj3bc4 #g ,cf4 ,psalm #icid3ah4 #h ,imit41 ,i1 xvi4 #d4 #i ,john #ad3b4 #aj ,cf4 ,psalm #aaaaab3e4 #aa ,cant4 #a3b4 #ab ,cf4 #b ,esdras #d3ag4 #ac ,matt4 #be3cf4 #ad ,prov4 #af3cb4 #ae ,luke #b3ej4 #af ,luke #b3cc4 #ag ,ps4 #aahaai3aab4 #ah ,ephes4 #f3ag4 #ai ,cf4 ,cant4 #e3g1 #c3d4 #bj ,9 ?is & ! foll[+ c\nsel x %\ld be rememb]$ t x is a ,novice-,mi/ress :o is speak+4 ,ed4 #ba ,cf4 ,ephes4 #f3ag2 ,isaias #fa3ba4 #bb ,cf4 ,john #c3h4 #bc ,luke #bb3cb4 #bd ,cf4 ,g54 #b3ag4 ,a play on ! ,fr5*3 ,tu m\rras de mort4 ,ed4 #be ,apoc4 #bb3ab4 #bf ,prov4 #aj3ab4 #bg ,cf4 ,isaias #f3b4 ,,lett]s ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se ,,! ,,little ,,fl[] ,,( ,,jesus ,,lett]s ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se ,,to ,,h] ,,si/] ,c,,l9e ,i ,j4,m4,j4,t4 ,may #h1 #ahhh4 ,,de>e/ ,c,,l9e1--,!re are mom5ts :5 ,i wond] :e!r ,i am really & truly 9 ! ,c>mel2 sometimes ,i c sc>cely believe x4 ,:at h ,i done = ,god t ,he %\ld %[] s _m graces ^u me8 ,a :ole mon? has pass$ s9ce we p>t$2 b :y d ,i say p>t$8 ,ev5 7 ! wide ocean betwe5 u1 our s\ls w\ld rema9 z "o4 ,& yet ,i "k t n to h me is real suff]+1 & if ,i li/5$ to myself ,i %\ld ask ,jesus to let me be> ! sadness 9 y\r /ead6 ,i d n li/51 z y see2 ,i %\ld be afraid ( be+ selfi% 9 wi%+ = myself ! bett] "p--,i mean ! suff]+4 ,y are "r--life is (t5 burd5some & bitt]4 ,x is pa9ful to beg9 a day ( toil1 especially :5 ,jesus hides ,himself f our love4 ,:at is ?is sweet ,fri5d ab\t8 ,does ,he n see our angui% & ! burd5 t weighs u d[n8 ,:y does ,he n come & com=t u8 ,be n afraid4 4 4 4 ,he is "h at h&4 ,he is wat*+1 & x is ,he :o begs f u ?is pa91 ^! te>s4 4 4 4 ,he ne$s !m = s\ls1 = our s\ls1 & ,he longs to give u a magnific5t rew>d4 ,i assure y t x co/s ,him de> to fill u ) bitt]ness1 b ,he kn[s t x is ! only means ( prep>+ u to "k ,him z ,he kn[s ,himself1 & to become ourselves ,div9e6 ,our s\l is inde$ great & our de/9y glori\s4 ,let u lift ourselves above all ?+s t pass1 & hold ourselves f> f ! e>?6 ,up above1 ! air is s pure4 4 4 4 ,jesus may hide ,himself1 b we "k t ,he is !re4 ,,ii ,octob] #bj1 #ahhh4 ,,my ,,de>e/ ,,si/]1--,d n let y\r weakness make y unhappy4 ,:51 9 ! morn+1 we feel no c\rage or /r5g? = ! practice ( virtue1 x is really a grace3 x is ! "t to lay ! axe to ! root ( ! tree1#a rely+ ^u ,jesus alone4 ,if we fall1 an act ( love w set all "r1 & ,jesus smiles4 ,he helps u )\t seem+ to d s2 & ! te>s :i* s9n]s cause ,him to %$ are wip$ away by our poor weak love4 ,love c d all ?+s4 ,! mo/ impossible tasks seem to x easy & sweet4 ,y "k well t ,our ,"l does n look s mu* at ! greatness ( our actions1 nor ev5 at _! difficulty1 z at ! love ) :i* we d !m4 ,:at1 !n1 h we to fe>8 ,y wi% to become a ,sa9t1 & y ask me if ?is is n attempt+ too mu*4 ,cl9e1 ,i w n tell y to aim at ! s]aphic hol9ess ( ! mo/ privileg$ s\ls1 b r to be p]fect z y\r ,heav5ly ,fa!r is p]fect4#b ,y see t y\r dream--t our dreams & our desires--are n fancies1 s9ce ,jesus ,himself has laid _! realisation ^u u z a comm&m5t4 ,,iii ,janu>y1 #ahhi4 ,,my ,,de> ,,little ,c,,l9e1--,jesus (f]s y ! cross1 a v heavy cross1 & y are afraid ( n be+ able to c>ry x )\t giv+ way4 ,:y8 ,our ,belov$ ,himself fell ?ree times on ! way to ,calv>y1 & :y %\ld we n imitate our ,sp\se8 ,:at a fav\r f ,jesus1 & h[ ,he mu/ love u to s5d u s great a sorr[6 ,et]nity itself w n be long en\gh to bless ,him = x4 ,he heaps 8 fav\rs ^u u z ^u ! greate/ ,sa9ts4 ,:at1 !n1 are ,8 lov+ designs = our s\ls8 ,t is a secret :i* w only be reveal$ to u 9 our ,heav5ly ,home1 on ! day :5 ! ,"l %all wipe away all our te>s4#c ,n[ we h no?+ m to hope = on e>?--! cool ev5+s are pass$#d--;= u suff]+ alone rema9s6 ,ours is an enviable lot1 & ! ,s]aphim 9 ,heav5 are jeal\s ( our happ9ess4 ,! o!r day ,i came across ?is /rik+ passage3 ,to be resign$ & to be unit$ to ! w ( ,god are n ! same2 !re is ! same diff]5ce betwe5 !m z t :i* exi/s betwe5 union & unity2 9 union !re are /ill two1 9 unity !re is b "o4#e ,yes1 let u be "o ) ,god ev5 9 ?is life2 & = ?is we %\ld be m ?an resign$1 we %\ld embrace ! ,cross ) joy4 ,,iv ,febru>y #bh1 #ahhi4 ,,my ,,de> ,,little ,,si/]1--,jesus is a ,sp\se ( blood4#f ,he wi%es = ,himself all ! blood ( our he>ts4 ,y are "r--x co/s u de> to give ,him :at ,he asks4 ,b :at a joy t x does co/6 ,x is happ9ess to be> our crosses1 & to feel our weakness 9 do+ s4 ,cl9e1 f> f compla9+ to ,our ,"l ( ?is cross :i* ,he s5ds u1 ,i _c fa?om ! ,inf9ite ,love :i* _h l$ ,him to treat u 9 ?is way4 ,our de> ,fa!r mu/ inde$ be lov$ by ,god to h s mu* suff]+ giv5 to him4 ,i "k t by humiliation alone c ,sa9ts be made1 & ,i also "k t our trial is a m9e ( gold = u to turn to acc\nt4 ,i1 :o am b a little gra9 ( s&1 wi% to set to "w1 ?\gh ,i h nei!r c\rage nor /r5g?4 ,n[ ?is v want ( p[] w make my task easi]1 = ,i wi% to "w = love4 ,our m>tyrdom is beg9n+ 4 4 4 ,let u g =? to suff] toge!r1 de> si/]1 & let u (f] our suff]+s to ,jesus = ! salvation ( s\ls4 ,v ,m>* #ab1 #ahii4 4 4 4 ,i mu/ =get ?is _w4 ,"h ev]y?+ we>ies me--,i f9d only "o joy1 t ( suff]+1 & ?is joy1 :i* is n "o ( s5se1 is above all joy4 ,life is pass+1 & et]nity is draw+ ne>4 ,soon we %all live ! v life ( ,god4 ,aft] we h be5 fill$ at ! s\rce ( all bitt]ness1 our ?ir/ w be qu5*$ at ! v ,f\nta9 ( all sweetness4 ,! figure ( ?is _w passe? away#g--soon we %all see new skies--a m radiant sun w light ) its spl5d\r cry/al seas & inf9ite horizons4 ,we %all no long] be prison]s 9 a l& ( exile1 all w h pass$ away1 & ) our ,heav5ly ,sp\se we %all sail ^u b\ndless seas4 ,n[1 our h>ps are hang+ on ! will[s :i* gr[ by ! riv]s ( ,babylon1#h b 9 ! day ( our deliv]ance :at h>monies w !y n give =?1 h[ joyfully %all we make all _! /r+s vibrate6 ,n[1 we %$ te>s z we rememb] ,sion1 = h[ c we s+ ! songs ( ! ,"l 9 a l& ( exile8#i ,! burd5 ( our song is suff]+4 ,jesus (f]s u a *alice ( great bitt]ness4 ,let u n )draw our lips f x1 b suff] 9 peace4 ,he :o says peace does n say joy1 or at lea/ s5sible joy3 to suff] 9 peace x is en\gh to w he>tily all t ,our ,"l wills4 ,d n ?9k we c f9d love )\t suff]+1 = our nature rema9s & mu/ be tak5 into acc\nt2 b x puts great treasures )9 our rea*4 ,suff]+ is inde$ our v livelihood1 & is s preci\s t ,jesus came d[n ^u e>? on purpose to possess x4 ,we %\ld l to suff] g5]\sly & nobly2 we %\ld l nev] to fall4 ,:at an illusion6 ,:at does x matt] to me if ,i fall at e mom5t6 ,9 t way ,i realise my weakness1 & ,i ga9 !reby4 ,my ,god1 ,?\ see/ h[ little ,i am good =1 :5 ,?\ do/ c>ry me 9 ,?y ,arms2 & if ,?\ leave/ me alone1 well1 x is because x pleases ,!e to see me lie on ! gr\nd4 ,!n :y %\ld ,i be tr\bl$8 ,if y are will+ to be> 9 peace ! trial ( n be+ pleas$ ) y\rself1 y w be (f]+ ! ,div9e ,ma/] a home 9 y\r he>t4 ,x is true t y w suff]1 because y w be l a /rang] to y\r own h\se2 b d n be afraid--! poor] y are1 ! m ,jesus w love y4 ,i "k t ,he is bett] pleas$ to see y /umbl+ 9 ! night ^u a /ony road1 ?an walk+ 9 ! full light ( day ^u a pa? c>pet$ ) fl[]s1 because ^! fl[]s might h9d] y\r advance4 ,,vi ,july #ad1 #ahhi4 ,,my ,,d>l+ ,,si/]1--,i am ev] ) y 9 _s4 ,yes1 x is v h>d to live ^u ?is e>?1 b to-morr[1 9 a brief h\r1 we %all be at re/4 ,o my ,god1 :at %all we !n see8 ,:at is ?is life :i* w h no end8 ,our ,"l w be ! s\l ( our s\l4 ,o unse>*able my/]y6 ,eye ha? n se5 nor e> he>d1 nei!r ha? x ent]$ into ! he>t ( man :at ?+s ,god ha? prep>$ = !m t love ,him4#aj ,& all ?is w come soon--v soon--if we love ,jesus ard5tly4 ,x seems to me t ,god has no ne$ ( ye>s to p]fect ,8 lab\r ( love 9 a s\l4 ,"o ray f ,8 ,he>t c 9 an in/ant make ,8 fl[] blossom =?1 nev] to fade4 4 4 4 ,cl9e1 dur+ ! fleet+ mom5ts t rema9 to u1 let u save s\ls6 ,i feel t ,our ,sp\se asks u = s\ls--above all1 = ! s\ls ( ,prie/s4 4 4 4 ,x is ,he ,:o bids me tell y ?is4 ,!re is b "o ?+ to be done "h bel[3 to love ,jesus1 & to save s\ls = ,him t ,he may be m lov$4 ,we mu/ n let slip ! smalle/ opportunity ( giv+ ,him joy4 ,we mu/ refuse ,him no?+4 ,he is 9 su* ne$ ( love4 ,we are ,8 *os5 lilies4 ,he dwells z a ,k+ 9 our mid/--,he lets u %>e ! hon\rs ( ,8 ,royalty--,8 ,div9e ,blood b$ews our petals--& ,8 ,?orns z !y w\nd u spread abroad ! p]fume ( our love4 ,,vii ,octob] #bb1 #ahhi4 ,,my ,,de>e/ ,c,,l9e1--,i s5d y a picture ( ! ,holy ,face4 ,! contemplation ( ?is ,div9e subject seems to me to belong 9 a special way to my little si/]1 truly ! si/] ( my s\l4 ,may %e be ano!r ,v]onica1 & wipe away all ! ,blood & ,te>s ( ,jesus1 h] only ,love6 ,may %e give ,him s\ls6 ,may %e =ce h] way ?r\gh ! soldi]s--t is1 ! _w--to come close to ,8 side4 4 4 4 ,happy w %e be :5 %e sees 9 ,heav5 ! value ( t my/]i\s draught ) :i* %e qu5*$ ! ?ir/ ( h] ,heav5ly ,sp\se2 :5 %e sees ,8 ,lips1 once p>*$ ) burn+ ?ir/1 speak+ to h] ! "o et]nal ^w--love1 & ! ?anks :i* %all h no end4 4 4 4 ,good-bye1 de> little ,v]onica2#aa to-morr[1 no d\bt1 y\r ,belov$ w ask "s new sacrifice1 a fre% relief = ,8 ?ir/ 4 4 4 b let u g & die ) ,him6 ,,viii ,july #ah1 #ahij4 ,,my ,,de> ,,little ,,si/]1--,i s5d y a passage f ,isaias :i* w com=t y4 ,long ago ! ,prophet's s\l 0 fill$ ) ! ?\ght ( ! hidd5 beauties ( ! ,div9e ,face1 z our s\ls are n[4 ,_m a c5tury has pass$ s9ce !n4 ,x makes me wond] :at is ,"t4 ,"t is b a mirage1 a dream4 ,already ,god sees u 9 glory1 & rejoices 9 our ev]la/+ bliss4 ,h[ mu* good ,i d]ive f ?is ?\ght6 ,i und]/& n[ :y ,he all[s u to suff]4 ,s9ce ,our ,belov$ has trodd5 ! w9e-press alone1#ab ! w9e-press f :i* ,he gives u to dr9k--on our side let u n refuse to be clo!d 9 blood-/a9$ g>m5ts1 or to tread out = ,jesus a new w9e :i* may qu5* ,8 ?ir/6 ,:5 ,he looks ar\nd ,him1 ,he w n be able to say n[ t ,he is alone#ac--we %all be !re to help ,him4 ,8 look z x 7 hidd54#ad ,alas6 x is s ev5 to ?is day1 & no "o und]/&s ,8 ,te>s4 ,op5 to ,me1 ,my ,si/]1 ,my ,sp\se1 he says to u1 = ,my ,head is full ( dew & ,my ,locks ( ! drops ( ! night4#ae ,?us ,jesus compla9s to our s\ls :5 ,he is des]t$ & =gott5 4 4 4 ,to be =gott54 ,x is ?is1 ,i ?9k1 :i* gives ,him mo/ pa94 ,& our de> ,fa!r6--x is he>tr5d+1 b h[ c we rep9e s9ce ,our ,"l ,himself 0 look$ ^u z "o /ruck by ,god & afflict$8#af ,9 ?is great sorr[ we %\ld =get ourselves1 & pray = ,prie/s--our lives mu/ be entirely devot$ to !m4 ,our ,div9e ,ma/] makes me feel m & m t ?is is :at ,he asks ( y & me4 ,,ix ,septemb] #bc1 #ahij4 ,o ,cl9e1 h[ c ,i tell y all t is happ5+ )9 me8 ,:at a w\nd ,i h receiv$6 ,& yet ,i feel x is inflict$ by a lov+ ,h&1 by a ,h& div9ely jeal\s4 ,all 0 ready = my esp\sals2#ag b d y n ?9k t some?+ 0 /ill want+ to ! fea/8 ,x is true1 ,jesus _h already enri*$ me ) _m jewels1 b no d\bt !re 0 "o ( incomp>able beauty /ill miss+2 ?is priceless diamond ,he has giv5 me to-day 4 4 4 ,papa w n be "h to-morr[6 ,cl9e1 ,i confess t ,i h cri$ bitt]ly4 4 4 4 ,i am /ill cry+ s t ,i c sc>cely hold my p54 ,y "k h[ int5sely ,i long$ to see our de>e/ ,fa!r aga92 b n[ ,i feel t x is ,god's ,w t he %\ld n be at my fea/4 ,god has all[$ x simply to try our love4 ,jesus wi%es me to be an orphan 4 4 4 to be alone1 ) ,him alone1 s t ,he may unite ,himself m closely to me4 ,he wi%es1 too1 to give me back 9 ,heav5 ?is joy s lawfully desir$1 b :i* ,he has d5i$ me "h on e>?4 ,to-day's trial is "o ( ^? sorr[s t are difficult to und]/&3 a joy 0 set be=e u1 "o mo/ natural & easy ( atta9m5t4 ,we /ret*$ =? our h&s 4 4 4 & ! covet$ joy 0 )drawn4 ,b x is n ! h& ( man :i* has done ?is ?+--x is ,god's "w4 ,cl9e1 und]/& y\r ,?rse1 & let u accept *e]fully ! ?orn :i* is (f]$ u4 ,to-morr['s fea/ w be "o ( te>s1 b ,i feel t ,jesus w be greatly consol$4 4 4 4 ,x ,octob] #ad1 #ahij4 ,,my ,,d>l+ ,,si/]1--,i "k q well all y are suff]+4 ,i "k y\r angui%1 & ,i %>e x4 ,oh6 ,if ,i c\ld b imp>t to y ! peace :i* ,jesus has put into my s\l amid my mo/ bitt] te>s4 ,be com=t$--all passes away4 ,our life ( ye/]day is sp5t2 dea? too w come & g1 & !n we %all rejoice 9 life1 true life1 = c\ntless ages1 = ev]more4 ,mean:ile let u make ( our he>t a g>d5 ( delights :]e ,our sweet ,savi\r may come & take ,8 re/4 ,let u plant only lilies !re1 & s+ ) ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross3 ,!re ,i rema9$ 9 deep oblivion1 ,my head repos+ ^u ,him ,i love1 ,lo/ to myself & all6 ,i ca/ my c>es away ,& let !m1 he$less1 mid ! lilies lie4#ah ,,xi ,april #bf1 #ahia4 ,,my ,,de> ,,little ,,si/]1--,?ree ye>s ago our he>ts _h n yet be5 bruis$1 & life 0 "o glad smile4 ,!n ,jesus look$ d[n ^u u1 & all ?+s 7 *ang$ into an ocean ( te>s 4 4 4 b likewise into an ocean ( grace & ( love4 ,god has tak5 f u him :om we lov$ s t5d]ly--0 x n t we might be able to say m truly ?an ev]3 ,our ,fa!r ,:o art 9 heav58 ,h[ consol+ is ?is div9e ^w1 & :at va/ horizons x op5s be=e u6 ,my d>l+ ,cl9e1 y :o ask$ me s _m que/ions :5 we 7 little1 ,i wond] h[ x 0 y nev] ask$3 ,:y has ,god n made me an ,angel8 ,well1 ,i am go+ to tell y4 ,our ,"l wi%es to h ,8 ,c\rt "h on e>?1 z ,he has 9 ,heav52 ,he wi%es = angel-m>tyrs & angel-apo/les2 & if ,he has n made y an ,angel 9 ,heav51 x is because ,he wi%es y to be an ,angel ( e>?1 s t y may be able to suff] = ,8 ,love4 ,de>e/ si/]1 ! %ad[s w soon disappe>1 ! rays ( ! ,et]nal ,sun w ?aw ! ho> fro/ ( w9t]4 4 4 4 ,a little long]1 & we %all be 9 our true c\ntry1 & our *ildhood's joys--^? ,sunday ev5+s1 ^? outp\r+s ( ! he>t--w be giv5 back to u = ev]6 ,,xii ,augu/ #ae1 #ahib4 ,,my ,,de> ,,little ,,si/]1--,to write to y to-day ,i am oblig$ to /eal a little "t f ,our ,"l4 ,he w =give1 because x is ( ,him t we are go+ to speak toge!r4 ,! va/ solitudes & en*ant+ views :i* unfold !mselves be=e y ought to uplift y\r s\l4 ,i d n see ^? ?+s1 & ,i cont5t myself by say+ ) ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross 9 8 ,spiritual ,canticle3 ,9 ,*ri/ ,i h ! m\nta9s1 ,! quiet1 wood$ valleys4 ,lately ,i h be5 ?9k+ :at ,i c\ld und]take = ! salvation ( s\ls1 & ^! simple words ( ! ,gospel h giv5 me light4 ,po9t+ to ! fields ( ripe corn1 ,jesus once said to ,8 disciples3 ,lift up y\r eyes & see ! fields1 = !y are already :ite ) ! h>ve/2#ai & aga93 ,! h>ve/ inde$ is great1 b ! lab\r]s are few2 pray ye !re=e ! ,"l ( ! h>ve/ t ,he s5d =? lab\r]s4#bj ,"h is a my/]y inde$6 ,is n ,jesus all-p[]ful8 ,d n creatures belong to ,him :o made !m8 ,:y does ,he deign to say3 ,pray ye ! ,"l ( ! h>ve/ t ,he s5d =? lab\r]s8 ,x is because ,8 ,love = u is s unse>*able1 s t5d]1 t ,he wi%es u to %>e 9 all ,he does4 ,! ,creator ( ! ,univ]se awaits ! pray] ( a poor little s\l to save a multitude ( o!r s\ls1 ransom$1 l h]1 at ! price ( ,8 ,blood4 ,our vocation is n to g =? & reap 9 ,our ,fa!r's fields4 ,jesus does n say to u3 ,look d[n & reap ! h>ve/4 ,our mission is ev5 m sublime4 ,lift up y\r eyes & see1 sai? our ,div9e ,ma/]1 see h[ 9 ,heav5 !re are empty ?rones4 ,x is = y to fill !m4 4 4 4 ,y are z ,moses pray+ on ! m\nta91 s ask ,me = lab\r]s & !y %all be s5t4 ,i only await a pray]1 a sigh6 ,is n ! apo/olate ( pray]--s to speak--high] ?an t ( ! spok5 ^w8 ,x is = u by pray] to tra9 work]s :o w spread ! glad tid+s ( ! ,gospel & :o w save c\ntless s\ls--! s\ls to :om we %all be ! spiritual ,mo!rs4 ,:at1 !n1 h we to envy 9 ! ,prie/s ( ! ,"l8 ,,xiii ,,my ,,d>l+ ,,si/]1--,! affection ( our *ildhood days has *ang$ into a close/ union ( m9d & he>t4 ,jesus has drawn u to ,him toge!r1 = are y n already ,88 ,he has put ! _w b5ea? our feet4 ,l ,zac*eus we h climb$ into a tree to behold ,him--my/]i\s tree1 rais+ u high above all ?+s1 f :5ce we c say3 ,all is m9e1 all is = me3 ! ,e>? & ! ,heav5s are m9e1 ,god ,himself is m9e1 & ! ,"m ( my ,god is = me4#ba ,speak+ ( t ,bless$ ,"m1 ,i mu/ tell y ( "o ( my simple ways4 ,sometimes ,i f9d myself say+ to h]3 ,de>e/ ,"m1 x seems to me t ,i am happi] ?an y4 ,i h y = my ,"m1 & y h no ,bless$ ,virg9 to love4 4 4 4 ,x is true1 y are ! ,"m ( ,jesus1 b y h giv5 ,him to me2 & ,he1 f ! ,cross1 has giv5 y to be our ,"m--?us we are ri*] ?an y6 ,long ago1 9 y\r humility1 y wi%$ to become ! little h&maid ( ! ,"m ( ,god2 & ,i--poor little creature--am n y\r h&maid b y\r *ild6 ,y are ! ,"m ( ,jesus1 & y are also m9e6 ,our greatness 9 ,jesus is v]ily m>vell\s1 my ,cl9e4 ,he has unveil$ = u _m a my/]y by mak+ u climb ! my/ical tree ( :i* ,i spoke above4 ,& n[ :at sci5ce is ,he go+ to tea*8 ,h we n le>n$ all ?+s f ,him8 ,make ha/e to come d[n1 = ?is day ,i mu/ abide 9 ?y h\se4#bb ,jesus bids u come d[n4 ,:]e1 !n1 mu/ we g8 ,! ,jews ask$ ,him3 ,ma/]1 :]e dwelle/ ?\8#bc ,& ,he answ]$1 ,! foxes h holes & ! birds ( ! air ne/s1 b ! ,son ( ,man ha? n :]e to lay ,8 ,head4#bd ,if we are to be ! dwell+-place ( ,jesus1 we mu/ come d[n ev5 to ?is--we mu/ be s poor t we h n :]e to lay our heads4 ,?is grace ( light has be5 giv5 to me dur+ my retreat4 ,our ,"l desires t we %\ld receive ,him into our he>ts1 & no d\bt !y are empty ( creatures4 ,alas6 m9e is n empty ( self2 t is :y ,he bids me come d[n4 ,& ,i %all come d[n ev5 to ! v gr\nd1 t ,jesus may f9d )9 my he>t a re/+-place = ,8 ,div9e ,head1 & may feel t !re at lea/ ,he is lov$ & und]/ood4 ,,xiv ,april #be1 #ahic4 ,,my ,,little ,c,,l9e1--,i mu/ come & disclose ! desires ( ,jesus ) reg>d to y\r s\l4 ,rememb] t ,he did n say3 ,i am ! fl[] ( ! g>d5s1 a c>efully-t5d$ ,rose2 b1 ,i am ! ,fl[] ( ! fields & ! ,lily ( ! valleys4#be ,well1 y mu/ be always z a drop ( dew hidd5 9 ! he>t ( ?is beautiful ,lily ( ! valley4 ,! dew-drop--:at c\ld be simpl]1 :at m pure8 ,x is n ! *ild ( ! cl\ds2 x is born b5ea? ! />ry sky1 & survives b a night4 ,:5 ! sun d>ts =? its ard5t rays1 ! delicate pe>ls adorn+ ea* blade ( grass quickly pass into ! lighte/ ( vap\r4 4 4 4 ,!re is ! portrait ( my little ,cl9e6 ,%e is a drop ( dew1 an (fspr+ ( ,heav5--h] true ,home4 ,?r\gh ! night ( ?is life %e mu/ hide h]self 9 ! ,field-fl[]'s gold5 cup2 no eye mu/ discov] h] abode4 ,happy dewdrop1 kn[n to ,god alone1 ?9k n ( ! ru%+ torr5ts ( ?is _w6 ,envy n ev5 ! cry/al /ream :i* w9ds among ! mead[s4 ,! ripple ( its wat]s is sweet inde$1 b x c be he>d by creatures4 ,besides1 ! ,field-fl[] c\ld nev] conta9 x 9 its cup4 ,"o mu/ be s little to draw ne> to ,jesus1 & few are ! s\ls t aspire to be little & unkn[n4 ,are n ! riv] & ! brook1 !y urge1 ( m use ?an a dewdrop8 ,( :at avail is x8 ,its only purpose is to refre% = "o mom5t "s poor little field-fl[]4 ,ah6 ,!y little "k ! true ,fl[] ( ! field4 ,did !y "k ,him !y w\ld und]/& bett] ,our ,"l's reproa* to ,m>?a4 ,our ,belov$ ne$s nei!r our brilliant de$s nor our beautiful ?\ghts4 ,7 ,he 9 se>* ( l(ty ideas1 has ,he n ,8 ,angels1 ^: k inf9itely surpasses t ( ! greate/ g5ius ( e>?8 ,nei!r intellect nor o!r tal5ts has ,he come to seek among u4 4 4 4 ,he has become ! ,fl[] ( ! field to %[ h[ mu* ,he loves simplicity4 ,! ,lily ( ! valley asks b a s+le dewdrop1 :i* = "o night %all re/ 9 its cup1 hidd5 f all human eyes4 ,b :5 ! %ad[s %all beg9 to fade1 :5 ! ,fl[] ( ! field %all h become ! ,sun ( ,ju/ice1#bf !n ! dewdrop--! humble %>] ( ,8 exile--w rise up to ,him z love's vap\r4 ,he w %$ on h] a ray ( ,8 light1 & be=e ! :ole c\rt ( ,heav5 %e w %9e et]nally l a preci\s pe>l1 a dazzl+ mirror ( ! ,div9e ,sun4 ,,xv ,augu/ #b1 #ahic4 ,,my ,,de> ,c,,l9e1--,:at y write fills me ) joy2 y are mak+ y\r way by a royal road4 ,! ,sp\se 9 ! ,canticles1 unable to f9d h] ,belov$ 9 ! "t ( repose1 w5t =? to seek ,him 9 ! city4 ,b 9 va9 4 4 4 x 0 only )\t ! walls %e f\nd ,him4 ,x is n 9 ! sweetness ( repose t ,jesus w\ld h u discov] ,8 ,adorable ,pres5ce4 ,he hides ,himself & %r\ds ,himself 9 d>kness4 ,true1 ?is 0 n ,8 way ) ! multitude1 = we read t all ! p 7 c>ri$ away z soon z ,he spoke to !m4 ,! weak] s\ls ,he *>m$ by ,8 div9e eloqu5ce ) ! aim ( /r5g!n+ !m aga9/ ! day ( temptation & trial1 b ,8 fai?ful fri5ds 7 few t day :5 ,he 0 sil5t#bg 9 ! pres5ce ( ,8 judges4 ,sweet melody to my he>t is t sil5ce ( ! ,div9e ,ma/]6 ,he w\ld h u give ,him alms z to a poor man1 & puts ,himself--s to speak--at our m]cy4 ,he w take no?+ t is n *e]fully giv51 & ! v]ie/ trifle is preci\s 9 ,8 ,div9e ,eyes4 ,he /ret*es =? ,8 ,h& to receive a little love1 t 9 ! radiant day ( ! ,judgm5t ,he may speak to u ^? ineffably sweet words3 ,come1 ye bless$ ( ,my ,fa!r1 = ,i 0 hungry & y gave ,me to dr9k1 ,i 0 a /rang] & y took ,me 91 ,i 0 sick & y visit$ ,me1 ,i 0 9 prison & y came to ,me4#bh ,de>e/ ,cl9e1 let u rejoice 9 ! lot t is ours6 ,let u give & give aga91 & give royally1 nev] =gett+ t ,our ,belov$ is a hidd5 ,treasure :i* few s\ls "k h[ to f9d4 ,n[ to discov] t :i* is hidd5 we mu/ ne$s hide ourselves 9 ! hid+-place4 ,let our life1 !n1 be "o ( concealm5t4 ,! au?or ( ! ,imitation tells u3 ,if ?\ w\ld'/ "k & le>n some?+ to ! purpose1 love to be unkn[n1 & to be e/eem$ z no?+ 4 4 4 #bi ,hav+ =sak5 all ?+s1 a man %\ld =sake himself4 4 4 #cj ,let ?is man glory 9 ?is & ano!r 9 t1 b ?\ = ?y "p rejoice nei!r 9 ?is nor 9 t1 b 9 ! contempt ( ?yself4#ca ,,xvi ,,my ,,de> ,c,,l9e1--,y tell me t my lett]s d good to y4 ,i am inde$ glad1 b ,i assure y t ,i am "u no misappreh5sion3 ,unless ! ,"l build ! h\se1 !y lab\r 9 va9 :o build x4#cb ,! greate/ eloqu5ce _c call =? a s+le act ( love )\t t grace :i* t\*es ! he>t4 ,?9k ( a beautiful pea* ) its delicate t9t ( rose1 ) its flav\r s sweet t no human skill c\ld inv5t su* nect>4 ,tell me1 ,cl9e1 is x = ! pea*'s own sake t ,god creat$ t col\r s fair to ! eye1 t velvety cov]+ s s(t to ! t\*8 ,is x = itself t ,he made x s sweet8 ,nay1 x is = u2 ! only ?+ t is all its own & is ess5tial to its be+1 is ! /one2 x possesses no?+ beyond4 ,?us also x pleases ,jesus to lavi% ,8 gifts on c]ta9 s\ls 9 ord] to draw yet o!rs to ,himself2 9 ,8 ,m]cy ,he humbles !m inw>dly & g5tly compels !m to recognise _! no?+ness & ,8 ,almighty ,p[]4 ,n[ ?is s5tim5t ( humility is l a k]nel ( grace :i* ,god ha/5s to develop aga9/ t bless$ day1 :51 clo!d ) an imp]i%able beauty1 !y w be plac$1 )\t dang]1 on ! banquet+-table ( ,p>adise4 ,de> little si/]1 sweet e*o ( my s\l1 ,?rse is f> f ! heights ( f]v\r at ?is mom5t2 b :5 ,i am 9 ?is /ate ( spiritual dryness1 unable to pray1 or to practise virtue1 ,i look = little opportunities1 = ! smalle/ trifles1 to please my ,jesus3 a smile or a k9d ^w1 = in/ance1 :5 ,i w\ld wi% to be sil5t1 or to %[ t ,i am bor$4 ,if no su* occasion (f]1 ,i try at lea/ to say ov] & ov] aga9 t ,i love ,him4 ,?is is n h>d1 & x keeps alive ! fire 9 my he>t4 ,ev5 %\ld ! fire ( love seem dead1 ,i w\ld /ill ?r[ my t9y /raws on ! a%es1 & ,i am confid5t x w\ld light up aga94 ,x is true ,i am n always fai?ful1 b ,i nev] lose c\rage4 ,i leave myself 9 ! ,arms ( ,our ,"l4 ,he tea*es me to draw pr(it f ev]y?+1 f ! good & f ! bad :i* ,he f9ds 9 me4#cc ,he tea*es me to speculate 9 ! ,bank ( ,love1 or r x is ,he ,:o speculates = me1 )\t tell+ me h[ ,he does x--t is ,8 affair1 n m9e4 ,i h b to surr5d] myself :olly to ,him1 to d s )\t res]ve1 )\t ev5 ! satisfaction ( kn[+ :at x is all br++ to me4 4 4 4 ,aft] all1 ,i am n ! prodigal *ild1 & ,jesus ne$ n tr\ble ab\t a fea/ = me1 because ,i am always ) ,him4#cd ,i h read 9 ! ,gospel t ! ,good ,%eph]d leaves ! fai?ful ones ( ,8 flock 9 ! des]t to ha/5 aft] ! lo/ %eep4 ,?is confid5ce t\*es me deeply4 ,y see ,he is sure ( !m4 ,h[ c\ld !y /ray away8 ,!y are prison]s ( ,love4 ,9 l mann] does ! ,belov$ ,%eph]d ( our s\ls deprive u ( ! sweets ( ,8 ,pres5ce1 to give ,8 consolations to s9n]s2 or if ,he lead u to ,m\nt ,?abor x is b = "o brief mom5t 4 4 4 ! pa/ure l& is ne>ly always 9 ! valleys1 x is !re t ,he takes ,8 re/ at mid-day4#ce ,,xvii ,octob] #bj1 #ahic4 ,,my ,,de> ,,si/]1--,i f9d 9 ! ,canticle ( ,canticles ?is passage :i* may be fitly appli$ to y3 ,:at do/ ?\ see 9 ?y belov$ b a b& ( musicians 9 an arm$ camp8#cf ,?r\gh suff]+1 y\r life has 9 tru? become a battle-field1 & !re mu/ be a b& ( musicians1 s y %all be ! little h>p ( ,jesus4 ,b no conc]t is complete )\t s++1 & if ,jesus plays1 mu/ n ,cl9e make melody ) h] voice8 ,:5 ! music is pla9tive1 %e w s+ ! songs ( exile2 :5 ! music is gay1 %e w lilt ! airs ( h] ,heav5ly ,home4 4 4 4 ,:atev] may happ51 all e>?ly ev5ts1 be !y happy or sad1 w be b di/ant s\nds1 unable to awake a vibration f ! h>p ( ,jesus4 ,he res]ves to ,himself alone ! "r ( lightly t\*+ its /r+s4 ,i _c ?9k )\t delight ( t sweet sa9t1 ,cecilia4 ,:at an example %e gives u6 ,9 ! mid/ ( a pagan _w1 9 ! v he>t ( dang]1 at ! mom5t :5 %e 0 to be unit$ to a man ^: love 0 s utt]ly ( e>?1 x seems to me z if %e %\ld h wept & trembl$ ) fe>4 ,b in/ead1 dur+ ! music ( ! m>riage-fea/ ,cecilia kept s++ 9 h] he>t4#cg ,:at p]fect resignation6 ,no d\bt %e he>d o!r melodies ?an ^? ( ?is _w2 h] ,div9e ,sp\se too 0 s++1 & ! ,angels repeat$ 9 *orus ! refra9 ( ,be?lehem's bless$ night3 ,glory to ,god 9 ! highe/1 & on e>? peace to m5 ( goodwill4#ch ,! ,glory ( ,god6 ,/4 ,cecilia und]/ood x well1 & long$ = x ) all h] he>t4 ,%e guess$ t h] ,jesus 0 ?ir/+ = s\ls 4 4 4 & t is :y h] :ole desire 0 to br+ to ,him quickly ! s\l ( ! "y ,roman1 ^: only ?\ght 0 ( human glory4 ,?is wise ,virg9 w make ( him a ,m>tyr1 & multitudes w foll[ 9 8 foot/eps4 ,%e kn[s no fe>3 ! ,angels 9 _! song made promise ( peace4 ,%e kn[s t ! ,pr9ce ( ,peace is b\nd to protect h]1 to gu>d h] virg9ity1 & to make h] recomp5se4 4 4 4 ,oh1 h[ beautiful is ! *a/e g5]ation6#ci ,de>e/ si/]1 ,i h>dly "k :at ,i write2 ,i let my p5 foll[ ! dictates ( my he>t4 ,y tell me t y feel y\r weakness1 b t is a grace4 ,x is ,our ,"l ,:o s[s ! se$s ( di/ru/ ( self 9 y\r s\l4 ,d n be afraid6 ,if y d n fail to give ,him pleasure 9 small ?+s1 he w be oblig$ to help y 9 great ones4 ,! ,apo/les lab\r$ long )\t ,him1 !y toil$ a :ole night & caught no fi%4 ,_! lab\rs 7 n inacceptable to him1 b ,he wi%$ to prove t ,he is ! ,giv] ( all ?+s4 ,s an act ( humility 0 ask$ ( ! ,apo/les1 & ,our lov+ ,"l call$ to !m3 ,*ildr51 h y any?+ to eat8#dj ,/4 ,pet]1 av[+ 8 helplessness1 cri$ out3 ,"l1 we h lab\r$ all ! night1 & h tak5 no?+4#da ,x is en\gh1 ! ,he>t ( ,jesus is t\*$4 4 4 4 ,_h ! ,apo/le caught "s small fi%1 p]haps our ,div9e ,ma/] w\ld n h work$ a miracle2 b he _h caught no?+1 & s ?r\gh ! p[] & goodness ( ,god 8 nets 7 soon fill$ ) great fi%es4 ,su* is ,our ,"l's way4 ,he gives z ,god--) div9e l>gesse--b ,he insi/s on humility ( he>t4 ,,xviii ,july #g1 #ahid4 ,,my ,,de> ,,little ,,si/]1--,i d n "k if y are /ill 9 ! same frame ( m9d z :5 y la/ wrote to me2 ,i presume t y are1 & ,i answ] ) ?is passage ( ! ,canticle ( ,canticles1 :i* expla9s s well ! /ate ( a s\l 9 utt] dryness1 a s\l :i* _c f9d joy or consolation 9 any?+3 ,i w5t d[n into ! g>d5 ( nut-trees to see ! fruits ( ! valleys1 & to look if ! v9ey>d _h fl\ri%$1 & ! pomegranates 7 9 bud4 ,i no long] knew :]e ,i 03 my s\l 0 tr\bl$ because ( ! *>iots ( ,am9adab4#db ,!re is ! true picture ( our s\ls4 ,(t5 we g d[n 9 ! f]tile valleys :]e our he>t loves to f9d its n\ri%m5t2 & ! va/ fields ( ,holy ,scripture1 :i* h s (t5 op5$ to yield u ri*e/ treasures1 n[ seem b an arid & wat]less wa/e4 ,we no long] ev5 "k :]e we /&4 ,9 place ( peace & light1 all is sorr[ & d>kness4 ,b1 l ! ,sp\se 9 ! ,canticles1 we "k ! cause ( ?is trial3 ,my s\l 0 tr\bl$ because ( ! *>iots ( ,am9adab4 ,we are n z yet 9 our true c\ntry1 & z gold is tir$ 9 ! fire s mu/ our s\ls be purifi$ by temptation4 ,we sometimes ?9k we are ab&on$4 ,alas6 ! *>iots--t is to say1 ! idle clam\rs :i* beset & di/urb u--are !y )9 ! s\l or )\t8 ,we _c tell1 b ,jesus kn[s2 ,he sees all our grief1 & 9 ! night1 on a sudd51 ,8 ,voice is he>d3 ,return1 return1 ,o ,sulamitess3 return1 return1 t we may behold !e4#dc ,o graci\s call6 ,we d>$ no long] ev5 look ^u ourselves1 ! sight fill$ u ) horror1 & ,jesus calls u t ,he may look ^u u at leisure4 ,he wills to see u2 ,he comes1 & ) ,him come ! o!r two ,p]sons ( ! ,adorable ,tr9ity to take possession ( our s\l4 ,our ,"l _h promis$ ?is1 :51 ) unspeakable t5d]ness1 ,he _h said ( old3 ,if anyone love ,me he w keep ,my ^w1 & ,my ,fa!r w love him1 & ,we w come to him1 & w make ,our abode ) him4#dd ,to keep ! ^w ( ,jesus1 !n1 is "o condition ( our happ9ess1 ! pro( ( our love = ,him2 & ?is ^w seems to me to be ,8 v ,self1 = ,he calls ,himself ! ,uncreat$ ,^w ( ! ,fa!r4 ,9 ! same ,gospel ( ,/4 ,john ,he makes ! sublime pray]3 ,sanctify !m by ,?y ^w1 ,?y ^w is tru?4#de ,& 9 ano!r passage ,jesus tea*es u t ,he is ! ,way & ! ,tru? & ! ,life4#df ,we "k1 !n1 :at is ?is ^w :i* mu/ be kept2 we _c say1 l ,pilate3 ,:at is tru?8#dg ,we possess ! ,tru?1 = our ,belov$ dwells 9 our he>ts4 ,(t5 ?is ,belov$ is to u a bundle ( myrrh4#dh ,we %>e ! *alice ( ,8 suff]+s2 b h[ sweet x w be to u "o day to he> ^! g5tle words3 ,y are !y :o h cont9u$ ) ,me 9 ,my temptations1 & ,i dispose to y1 z ,my ,fa!r ha? dispos$ to ,me1 a k+dom4#di ,,xix ,augu/ #ai1 #ahid4 ,?is is p]haps ! la/ "t t ,i ne$ h rec\rse to writ+ 9 ord] to talk to y1 my de> little si/]4 ,god 9 ,8 goodness has grant$ my de>e/ wi%4 ,come1 & we w suff] toge!r 4 4 4 ,!n ,jesus w take "o ( u1 & ! o!rs w rema9 9 exile yet a little long]4 ,n[1 li/5 well to :at ,i am go+ to say3 ,god w nev]1 nev] sep>ate u2 & if ,i die be=e y1 d n ?9k t ,i %all be f> away--nev] %all we h be5 m closely unit$4 ,y mu/ n be griev$ at my *ildi% prophecy4 ,i am n ill1 ,i h an iron con/itution2 b ! ,"l c break iron z if x 7 clay4 ,our de> ,fa!r makes 8 pres5ce felt 9 a way :i* t\*es me deeply4 ,aft] a dea? la/+ = five long ye>s1 :at joy to f9d him z he us$ to be1 nay1 m a fa!r ?an ev]6 ,h[ well he is go+ to repay y = ! c>e y s g5]\sly be/[$ on him6 ,y 7 8 ,angel1 n[ he w be y\rs4 ,he has only be5 "o mon? 9 heav51 & already1 ?r\gh ! p[] ( 8 int]cession1 all y\r plans are succe$+4 ,x is easy = him n[ to arrange matt]s = u1 & he has _h less to suff] on ,cl9e's acc\nt ?an he _h = 8 poor little ,que54 ,= a long "t y h be5 ask+ me = news ab\t ! noviciate1 especially ab\t my "w1 & n[ ,i am go+ to satisfy y4 ,9 my deal+s ) ! novices ,i am l a sett] on ! sc5t ( game4 ,! rle gives me mu* anxiety because x s v exact+4 ,y %all decide = y\rself if ?is be n ! case4 ,all day long1 f morn till night1 ,i am 9 pursuit ( game4 ,"m ,prioress & ! ,novice ,mi/ress play ! "p ( sportsm5--b sportsm5 are too big to be creep+ ?r\gh ! cov]1 :]eas a little dog c pu% its way 9 any:]e 4 4 4 & !n its sc5t is s ke56 ,i keep a close wat* ^u my little rabbits2 ,i d n want to d !m any h>m1 b ,i tell !m g5tly3 ,y mu/ keep y\r fur glossy1 & mu/ n look fooli%ly ab\t z does a rabbit ( ! w>r54 ,9 fact1 ,i try to make !m su* z ! ,hunt] ( ,s\ls w\ld h !m1 simple little creatures t g on br[s+ he$less ( ev]y?+ else4 ,i laugh n[1 b s]i\sly ,i am q conv9c$ t "o ( ^! rabbits--y "k :i* "o ,i mean--is wor? a hundr$ times m ?an ! sett]2 x has run ?r\gh _m a dang]1 & ,i own t1 _h ,i be5 9 its place1 ,i %\ld h long s9ce be5 lo/ = ev] 9 ! great =e/ ( ! _w4 ,,xx ,i am s glad1 de>e/ ,cl9e1 t y d n feel any p>ticul> attraction at ! ?\ght ( ent]+ ! ,c>mel4 ,?is is really a m>k ( ,our ,"l's fav\r1 & %[s t ,he looks = a gift f y\r h&s4 ,he kn[s t x is s mu* sweet] to give ?an to receive4 ,:at happ9ess to suff] = ,him ,:o loves u ev5 unto folly1 & to pass = fools 9 ! eyes ( ! _w6 ,we judge o!rs by ourselves1 &1 z ! _w w n he>k5 to reason1 x calls u unreasonable too4 ,we may console ourselves1 we are n ! fir/4 ,folly 0 ! only crime ) :i* ,h]od c\ld reproa* ,our ,"l 4 4 4 &1 aft] all1 ,h]od 0 "r4 ,yes1 inde$1 x 0 folly to come & seek ! poor he>ts ( mortal m5 to make !m ?rones = ,him1 ! ,k+ ( ,glory1 ,:o sitte? above ! ,*]ubim6 ,0 ,he n supremely happy 9 ! company ( ,8 ,fa!r & ! ,holy ,_s ( ,love8 ,:y1 !n1 come d[n on e>? to seek s9n]s & make ( !m ,8 close/ fri5ds8 ,nay1 our folly c\ld nev] exce$ ,81 & our de$s are q )9 ! b\nds ( reason4 ,! _w may leave u alone4 ,i repeat1 x is ! _w t is insane1 because x he$s n :at ,jesus has done & suff]$ to save x f et]nal damnation4 ,we are nei!r idl]s nor sp5d?rifts4 ,our ,div9e ,ma/] has tak5 our def5ce ^u ,himself4 ,rememb] ! sc5e 9 ! h\se ( ,laz>us3 ,m>?a 0 s]v+1 :ile ,m>y _h no ?\ght ( food b only ( h[ %e c\ld please h] ,belov$4 ,& %e broke h] alaba/] box1 & p\r$ out ^u h] ,savi\r's ,head ! preci\s spik5>d1#ej & ! h\se 0 fill$ ) ! od\r ( ! o9tm5t4#ea ,! ,apo/les murmur$ aga9/ ,magdal54 ,?is /ill happ5s1 = s d m5 murmur aga9/ u4 ,ev5 "s f]v5t ,ca?olics ?9k our ways are exagg]at$1 & t--) ,m>?a--we ought to wait ^u ,jesus1 in/ead ( p\r+ out on ,him ! odor\s o9tm5t ( our lives4 ,yet :at does x matt] if ^! o9tm5t-j>s--our lives--be brok51 s9ce ,our ,"l is consol$1 & ! _w 9 spite ( itself is =c$ to inhale ! p]fumes !y give =?8 ,x has mu* ne$ ( ^! p]fumes to purify ! un:olesome air x brea!s4 ,= a :ile only1 good-bye1 de>e/ si/]4 ,y\r b>que is ne> to port4 ,! breezes fill+ its sails are ! zephyrs ( ,love--breezes t spe$ m swiftly ?an ! lightn+-fla%4 ,good-bye6 9 a few days we %all be toge!r )9 ^! ,c>mel walls 4 4 4 & 9 ! aft] days toge!r 9 ,p>adise4 ,did n ,jesus say dur+ ,8 ,passion3 ,h]eaft] y %all see ! ,son ( ,man sitt+ on ! "r h& ( ! p[] ( ,god & com+ 9 ! cl\ds ( heav58#eb 4 4 4 ,we %all be !re6 ,,?,r,,se4 #a ,matt4 #c3aj4 #b ,matt4 #e3dh4 #c ,apoc4 #ba3d4 #d ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross4 #e ,mme4 ,swet*9e4 #f ,exodus #d3be4 #g ,i ,cor4 #g3ca4 #h ,cf4 ,ps4 #acf3b4 #i ,cf4 ,ps4 #acf3a1 #d4 #aj ,i ,cor4 #b3i4 #aa ,x is rem>kable t ,soeur ,?rse appli$ ?is "n to h] si/] ,cl9e1 :o1 "u h] inspiration1 0 lat] to reproduce s fai?fully ! true lik5ess ( ,our ,"l1 f ! ,holy ,w9d+ ,%eet ( ,tur94 ,ed4 ,rema9d] ( long footnote1 discuss+ ?is lik5ess1 its reproduction1 & relat$ matt]s1 omitt$ f ?is electronic edition4 #ab ,isa4 #fc3c4 #ac ,cf4 ,isa4 #fc3e4 #ad ,isa4 #ec3c4 #ae ,cant4 #e3b4 #af ,is4 #ec3d4 #ag ,soeur ,?rse receiv$ ! veil on ,septemb] #bd1 #ahij4 #ah ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross3 ,! ,night ( ! ,s\l1 #h? /anza4 #ai ,john #d3ce4 #bj ,matt4 #i3cg1 #ch4 #ba ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross4 #bb ,luke #ai3e4 #bc ,john #a3ch4 #bd ,luke #i3eh4 #be ,cant4 #b3a4 #bf ,mala*ias #d3b4 #bg ,matt4 #bf3bc4 #bh ,matt4 #be3cd-cf4 #bi ,imit41 ,bk4 ,i1 *4 ii4 #c4 #cj ,ib41 ,bk4 ,,ii1 *4 xi4 #d4 #ca ,ib41 ,bk4 ,,iii1 *4 xlix4 #g4 #cb ,ps4 #abfabg3a4 #cc ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross4 #cd ,cf4 ,luke #ae3ca4 #ce ,cant4 #a3f4 #cf ,cf4 ,cant4 #g3a4 #cg ,(fice ( ,/4 ,cecilia4 #ch ,luke #b3ad4 #ci ,wisdom #d3a4 #dj ,john #ba3e4 #da ,luke #e3e4 ,soeur ,?rse jo9s 9 "o ! two miracul\s draughts ( fi%es4 ,ed4 #db ,cf4 ,cant4 #f3aj1 #aa4 #dc ,cant4 #f3ab4 #dd ,john #ad3bc4 #de ,cf4 ,john #ag3ag4 #df ,john #ad3f4 #dg ,john #ah3ch4 #dh ,cf4 ,cant4 #a3ab4 #di ,luke #bb3bh1 #bi4 #ej ,cf4 ,m>k #ad3c4 #ea ,john #ab3c4 #eb ,matt4 #bf3fd4 ,,lett]s ,,to ,,"m ,,agnes ,,( ,,jesus ,selections ,i 7,writt5 9 #ahhg1 %ortly be=e ,?rse ent]$ ! ,c>mel47 ,,my ,,d>l+ ,,little ,,"m1--,y are "r :5 y tell me t e cup mu/ conta9 its drop ( gall4 ,i f9d t trials are a great help t[>ds deta*m5t f ! ?+s ( e>?3 !y make "o look high] ?an ?is _w4 ,no?+ "h c satisfy1 & we c f9d re/ only 9 hold+ ourselves ready to d ,god's w4 ,my frail b>que has great difficulty 9 rea*+ port4 ,i sight$ x long s9ce1 & /ill ,i f9d myself af> (f4 ,yet ,jesus /e]s ?is little b>que1 & ,i am sure t on ,8 appo9t$ day x w come safely to ! bless$ hav5 ( ! ,c>mel4 ,o ,paul9e6 :5 ,jesus %all h v\*saf$ me ?is grace1 ,i wi% to give myself entirely to ,him1 to suff] always = ,him1 to live = ,him alone4 ,i d n fe> ,8 rod1 = ev5 :5 ! sm>t is ke5e/ we feel t x is ,8 sweet ,h& :i* /rikes4 ,x is su* joy to ?9k t = ea* pa9 *e]fully borne we %all love ,god m ?r\gh et]nity4 ,happy %\ld ,i be if at ! h\r ( my dea? ,i c\ld (f] ,jesus a s+le s\l4 ,!re w\ld be "o s\l less 9 hell1 & "o m to bless ,god 9 ,heav54 ,,ii 7,writt5 dur+ h] retreat be=e receiv+ ! habit47 ,janu>y1 #ahhi4 ,dryness & dr[s9ess--su* is ! /ate ( my s\l 9 its int]c\rse ) ,jesus6 ,b s9ce my ,belov$ wi%es to sleep ,i %all n prev5t ,him4 ,i am only too happy t ,he does n treat me z a /rang]1 b r 9 a homely way4 ,he riddles 8 little ball ) p9-pricks t hurt inde$1 ?\gh :5 !y come f ! ,h& ( ?is lov+ ,fri5d1 ! pa9 is all sweetness1 s g5tle 9 ,8 t\*4 ,h[ diff]5t ! h& ( man6 ,yet ,i am happy1 mo/ happy to suff]6 ,if ,jesus ,himself does n pi]ce me1 ,he guides ! h& :i* does4 ,"m6 ,if y knew h[ utt]ly indiff]5t to e>?ly ?+s ,i desire to be1 & ( h[ little conc]n to me are all ! beauties ( creation4 ,i %\ld be wret*$ 7 ,i to possess !m4 ,my he>t seems s va/ :5 ,i ?9k ( ! goods ( e>?--all ( !m toge!r unable to fill x4 ,b by ! side ( ,jesus h[ small does x appe>6 ,he is full good to me--?is ,god :o soon w be my ,sp\se4 ,he is div9ely lovable = n p]mitt+ me to be ! captive ( any pass+ joy4 ,he kn[s well t if ,he s5t me b a %ad[ ( e>?ly happ9ess ,i %\ld cl+ to x ) all ! int5se ard\r ( my he>t1 & ,he refuses ev5 ?is %ad[ 4 4 4 ,he pref]s to leave me 9 d>kness1 r ?an af=d me a false glimm] :i* w\ld n be ,himself4 ,i d n wi% creatures to h "o atom ( my love4 ,i wi% to give all to ,jesus1 s9ce ,he makes me und]/& t ,he alone is p]fect happ9ess4 ,all6--all %all be = ,him6 ,& ev5 :5 ,i h no?+1 z is ! case to-night1 ,i w give ,him ?is no?+ 4 4 4 ,,iii #ahhi4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,i h a long+ = ^? he>t-w\nds1 ^? p9-pricks :i* inflict s mu* pa94 ,i "k ( no ec/asy to :i* ,i d n pref] sacrifice4 ,!re ,i f9d happ9ess1 & !re alone4 ,! sl5d] re$ has no fe> ( be+ brok51 = x is plant$ beside ! wat]s ( ,love4 ,:51 !re=e1 x b5ds be=e ! gale1 x ga!rs /r5g? 9 ! refre%+ /ream1 & longs = yet ano!r /orm to pass & sway its head4 ,my v weakness makes me /rong4 ,no h>m c come to me s9ce1 9 :atev] happ5s1 ,i see only ! t5d] ,h& ( ,jesus 4 4 4 ,besides1 no suff]+ is too big a price to pay = ! glori\s palm4 ,,iv 7,writt5 dur+ h] retreat be=e pr(ession47 ,septemb]1 #ahij4 ,,my ,,de>e/ ,,"m1--,y\r little h]mit mu/ give y an acc\nt ( h] j\rney4 ,be=e />t+1 my ,belov$ ask$ me 9 :at l& ,i wi%$ to travel1 & :at road ,i wi%$ to take4 ,i told him t ,i _h only "o desire1 t ( rea*+ ! summit ( ! ,m\nta9 ( ,love4 ,!reupon roads innum]able spread be=e my gaze1 b s _m ( ^! 7 p]fect t ,i felt incapable ( *oos+ any ( my own free w4 ,!n ,i said to my ,div9e ,guide3 ,?\ kn[e/ :]e lies ! goal ( my desire1 & = ,^: sake ,i w\ld climb ! ,m\nta94 ,?\ kn[e/ ,:o possesses ! love ( my he>t4 ,= ,him only ,i set out on ?is j\rney2 lead me !re=e by ! pa?s ( ,8 *oos+3 my joy %all be full if only ,he is pleas$4 ,& ,our ,"l took me by ! h&1 & l$ me ?r\gh an und]gr\nd passage :]e x is nei!r hot nor cold1 :]e ! sun %9es n1 & :]e nei!r w9d nor ra9 c ent]--a place :]e ,i see no?+ b a half-veil$ light1 ! light t gleams f ! d[nca/ ,eyes ( ! ,face ( ,jesus4 ,my ,sp\se speaks n a ^w1 & ,i say no?+ save t ,i love ,him m ?an myself2 & 9 ! dep?s ( my he>t ,i "k ?is is true1 = ,i am m ,8 ?an m9e4 ,i _c see t we are advanc+ t[>d our j\rney's goal s9ce we travel by a subt]ranean way2 & yet1 )\t kn[+ h[1 x seems to me t we are ne>+ ! summit ( ! ,m\nta94 ,i give ?anks to my ,jesus = mak+ me walk 9 d>kness1 & 9 ?is d>kness ,i enjoy pr(\nd peace4 ,will+ly d ,i cons5t to rema9 ?r\gh all my religi\s life 9 ?is gloomy passage into :i* ,he has l$ me4 ,i desire only t my d>kness may obta9 light = s9n]s4 ,i am cont5t1 nay1 full ( joy1 to be )\t all consolation4 ,i %\ld be a%am$ if my love 7 l t ( ^? e>?ly brides :o are ev] look+ = gifts f _! bridegrooms1 or seek+ to cat* ! lov+ smile :i* fills !m ) delight4 ,?rse1 ! little ,sp\se ( ,jesus1 loves ,him = ,himself2 %e only looks on ! ,face ( h] ,belov$ to cat* a glimpse ( ! ,te>s :i* delight h] ) _! secret *>m4 ,%e longs to wipe away ^? ,te>s1 or to ga!r !m up l priceless diamonds ) :i* to adorn h] bridal dress4 ,jesus6 4 4 4 ,oh6 ,i w\ld s love ,him6 ,love ,him z ,he has nev] yet be5 lov$6 4 4 4 ,at all co/ ,i mu/ w9 ! palm ( ,/4 ,agnes2 if x _c be m9e ?r\gh blood1 ,i mu/ w9 x by ,love4 ,v #ahia4 ,love c take ! place ( a long life4 ,jesus does n consid] "t1 = ,he is ,et]nal4 ,he only looks at ! love4 ,my little ,"m1 beg ,him to be/[ x ^u me 9 full measure4 ,i d n desire t ?rill ( love :i* ,i c feel2 if ,jesus feel its ?rill1 !n t is en\gh = me4 ,x is s sweet to love ,him1 to make ,him lov$4 ,ask ,him to take me to ,him on my pr(ession-day1 if by liv+ on ,i %\ld ev] (f5d ,him1 because ,i wi% to be> unsulli$ to ,heav5 ! :ite robe ( my second ,baptism4#a ,n[ ,jesus c grant me ! grace nev] to (f5d ,him m1 or r nev] to commit any faults b ^? :i* d n (f5d ,him or give ,him pa92 faults :i* s]ve b to humble me & /r5g!n my love4 ,!re is no "o to lean on ap>t f ,jesus4 ,he alone faile? n1 & x is exce$+ joy to ?9k t ,he c nev] *ange4 ,,vi #ahia4 ,,my ,,de>e/ ,,little ,,"m1--,y\r lett] has done me su* good4 ,! s5t5ce3 ,let u refra9 f say+ a ^w :i* c\ld raise u 9 ! eyes ( o!rs1 has inde$ enlight5$ my s\l4 ,yes1 we mu/ keep all = ,jesus ) jeal\s c>e4 ,x is s good to "w = ,him alone4 ,h[ x fills ! he>t ) joy1 & l5ds w+s to ! s\l6 ,ask ( ,jesus t ,?rse--,8 gra9 ( s&--may save ,him a multitude ( s\ls 9 a %ort space ( "t1 s t %e may ! soon] behold ,8 ,adorable ,face4 ,,vii #ahib4 ,"h is ! dream ( ?is gra9 ( s&3 ,love ,jesus alone1 & naught else beside6 ,! gra9 ( s& is s small t if x wi%$ to op5 its he>t to any o!r b ,jesus1 !re w\ld no long] be room = ?is ,belov$4 ,:at happ9ess to be s entirely hidd5 t no "o gives u a ?\ght--to be unkn[n ev5 to ^? ) :om we live6 ,my little ,"m1 ,i long to be unkn[n to ev]yone ( ,god's creatures6 ,i h nev] desir$ glory among/ m51 & if _! contempt us$ to attract my he>t1 ,i h realiz$ t ev5 ?is is too glori\s = me1 & ,i ?ir/ to be =gott54 ,! ,glory ( ,jesus--?is is my sole ambition4 ,i ab&on my glory to ,him2 & if ,he seem to =get me1 well1 ,he is free to d s s9ce ,i am no long] my own1 b ,84 ,he w we>y soon] ( mak+ me wait ?an ,i %all ( wait+4 ,,viii ,"o day :5 ,soeur ,?rse 0 suff]+ acutely f fev]i%ness1 "o ( ! ,si/]s urg$ h] to help 9 a difficult piece ( pa9t+4 ,= a mom5t ,?rse's c\nt5ance betray$ an inw>d /ruggle1 :i* did n escape ! notice ( ,"m ,agnes ( ,jesus4 ,t same ev5+ ,?rse wrote h] ! foll[+ lett]4 ,may #bh1 #ahig4 ,,my ,,de>e/ ,,"m1--,i h j be5 %$d+ sweet te>s--te>s ( rep5tance1 b /ill m ( ?ankfulness & love4 ,to-day ,i %[$ y ! treasure ( my pati5ce1 & h[ virtu\s ,i am--,i :o prea* s well to o!rs6 ,i am glad t y h se5 my want ( p]fection4 ,y did n scold me1 & yet ,i des]v$ x4 ,b at all times y\r g5tl5ess speaks to me m =cibly ?an w\ld sev]e words4 ,to me y are ! image ( ,god's ,m]cy4 ,si/] ,n41 on ! contr>y1 is m (t5 ! image ( ,god's sev]ity4 ,well1 ,i h j met h]1 &1 in/ead ( pass+ me coldly by1 %e embrac$ me & said3 ,poor little ,si/]1 ,i am s sorry 4 4 4 ,i d n want to tire y2 x 0 wrong ( me to ask y\r help2 leave ! "w alone4 ,9 my he>t ,i felt p]fect sorr[1 & ,i 0 mu* surpris$ to escape all blame4 ,i "k %e mu/ really deem me imp]fect4 ,%e spoke 9 ?is way because %e ?9ks ,i am soon to die4 ,h[ev] t may be1 ,i h he>d no?+ b k9d & t5d] words f h]2 & s ,i consid] h] mo/ k9d1 & myself an unamiable creatures4 ,:5 ,i return$ to our cell1 ,i 0 wond]+ :at ,jesus ?\ght1 :5 all at once ,i rememb]$ ,8 words to ! woman tak5 9 adult]y3 ,ha? no man condemn$ !e8#b ,) te>s 9 my eyes1 ,i answ]$ ,him3 ,no "o1 ,"l1 4 4 4 nei!r my little ,"m--! image ( ,?y ,m]cy--nor ,si/] ,n41 ! image ( ,?y ,ju/ice4 ,i feel t ,i c g 9 peace1 because nei!r wilt ,?\ condemn me4 ,i confess ,i am mu* happi] because ( my weakness ?an if--su/a9$ by grace--,i _h be5 a model ( pati5ce4 ,x does me s mu* good to see t ,jesus is always sweet & t5d] t[>ds me4 ,truly x is en\gh to make me die ( grateful love4 ,my little ,"m1 y w und]/& h[ ?is ev5+ ! vessel ( ,god's ,m]cy has ov]fl[$ = y\r *ild4 4 4 4 ,ev5 n[ ,i "k x6 ,yea1 all my hopes w be fulfill$ 4 4 4 ,,v]ily ,,! ,,"l ,,w ,,"w ,,wond]s ,,= ,,me1 ,,& ,,!y ,,w ,,inf9itely ,,surpass ,,my ,,b\ndless ,,desires4 #a ,soeur ,?rse "h alludes to ! probable op9ion ( !ologians t--z 9 ,baptism--all /a9 ( s9 is remov$ & all temporal puni%m5t = s9 remitt$1 by ! v[s tak5 on ! day ( religi\s pr(ession4 ,ed4 #b ,john #h3aj4 ,,lett]s ,,to ,,si/] ,,m>y ,,( ,,! ,,sacr$ ,,he>t ,i ,febru>y #ba1 #ahhh4 ,,my ,,de> ,,m>ie1--,y _c ?9k :at a lovely pres5t ,papa made me la/ week2 ,i believe if ,i gave y a hundr$ or ev5 a ?\s& guesses y w\ld nev] f9d out :at x 04 ,well1 my de> ,fa!r b\ght me a new-born lamb1 all :ite & fleecy4 ,he said t be=e ,i ent]$ ! ,c>mel he want$ me to h ?is pleasure4 ,we 7 all delight$1 especially ,cl9e4 ,:at t\*$ me m ?an any?+ 0 ,papa's ?\ghtfulness4 ,besides1 a lamb is symbolic1 & x made me ?9k ( ,paul9e4 ,s f>1 s good1 b n[ = ! sequel4 ,we 7 already build+ ca/les 9 ! air1 & expect$ t 9 two or ?ree days ! lamb w\ld be frisk+ r\nd u4 ,b ! pretty creature di$ t same aft]noon4 ,poor little ?+1 sc>cely 0 x born :5 x suff]$ & di$4 ,x look$ s g5tle & innoc5t t ,cl9e made a sket* ( x1 & !n we laid x 9 a grave dug by ,papa4 ,x appe>$ to be asleep4 ,i did n want ! e>? to be its cov]+1 s we put sn[ ^u our pet1 & all 0 ov]4 ,y d n "k1 de>e/ ,godmo!r1 h[ ?is little creature's dea? has made me reflect4 ,cle>ly we mu/ n become atta*$ to any?+1 no matt] h[ innoc5t1 because x w slip f our grasp :5 lea/ expect$2 no?+ b ! et]nal c cont5t u4 ,,ii 7,writt5 dur+ h] retreat be=e receiv+ ! habit47 ,janu>y #h1 #ahhi4 ,y\r little ,lamb--z y love to call me1 de>e/ si/]--w\ld borr[ f y "s /r5g? & c\rage4 ,i _c speak to ,our ,"l1 & ,he is sil5t too4 ,pray t my retreat may be pleas+ to ! ,he>t ( ,him ,:o alone reads ! secrets ( ! s\l4 ,life is full ( sacrifice1 x is true1 b :y seek happ9ess "h8 ,= life is b a night to be sp5t 9 a wret*$ inn1 z our holy ,"m ,/4 ,t]esa says4 ,i assure y my he>t ?ir/s ard5tly = happ9ess1 b ,i see cle>ly t no creature c qu5* t ?ir/4 ,on ! contr>y1 ! (t5] ,i w\ld dr9k f ^! s$uctive wat]s ! m burn+ w my ?ir/ become4 ,i "k a s\rce :]e !y t dr9k %all yet ?ir/1#a b ) a delici\s ?ir/1 a ?ir/ "o c always allay4 4 4 4 ,t s\rce is ! suff]+ kn[n to ,jesus only4 ,,iii ,augu/ #ad1 #ahhi4 ,y ask = a ^w f y\r little ,lamb4 ,b :at %all ,i say8 ,is x n y :o h taught me8 ,rememb] ^? days :5 ,i sat ^u y\r knee1 & y talk$ to me ( ,heav54 ,i c /ill he> y say3 ,look at ^? :o want to become ri*1 & see h[ !y toil to obta9 money4 ,n[1 my little ,?rse1 ?r\gh e mom5t ( ! day & ) f> less tr\ble1 we c lay up ri*es 9 ,heav54 ,diamonds are s pl5tiful1 we c ga!r !m toge!r z ) a rake1 & we d ?is by p]=m+ all our actions = ! love ( ,god4 ,!n ,i w\ld leave y1 my he>t ov]fl[+ ) joy1 & fully b5t on amass+ great weal?4 ,"t has fl[n s9ce ^? happy h\rs sp5t toge!r 9 our de> ne/4 ,jesus has visit$ u1 & has f\nd u wor?y to be tri$ 9 ! crucible ( suff]+4 ,god has said t on ! la/ day ,he w wipe away all te>s f our eyes1#b & no d\bt ! m te>s !re are to dry1 ! great] w be ! happ9ess4 ,pray to-morr[ = ! little "o :o owes y h] upbr++1 & :o1 )\t y1 might nev] h come to ! ,c>mel4 ,,iv 7,dur+ h] retreat be=e pr(ession7 ,septemb] #d1 #ahij4 ,! heav5ly music falls b fa9tly on ! e> ( y\r *ild1 & x has be5 a dre>y j\rney t[>ds h] ,bridal ,day4 ,x is true h] ,betro!d has l$ h] ?r\gh f]tile l&s & gorge\s sc5]y1 b ! d>k night has prev5t$ h] admir+1 mu* less revell+ 91 ! beauty all ar\nd4 ,p]haps y ?9k ?is griev$ h]4 ,oh1 no6 %e is happy to foll[ h] ,betro!d = ,8 own sake1 & n = ! sake ( ,8 gifts4 ,he is s ravi%+ly beautiful1 ev5 :5 sil5t--ev5 :5 conceal$4 ,we>y ( e>?ly consolation1 y\r little *ild wi%es = h] ,belov$ alone4 ,i believe t ! "w ( ,jesus dur+ ?is retreat has be5 to deta* me f ev]y?+ b ,himself4 ,my only com=t is ! exce$+ /r5g? & peace t is m9e4 ,besides1 ,i hope to be j :at ,he wills ,i %\ld be1 & 9 ?is lies all my happ9ess4 ,did y b "k h[ great is my joy at giv+ pleasure to ,jesus ?r\gh be+ utt]ly depriv$ ( all joy6 4 4 4 4 ,truly ?is is ! v ref9em5t ( all joy--joy we d n feel4 ,v ,septemb] #g1 #ahij4 ,to-morr[ ,i %all be ! ,sp\se ( ,jesus1 ( ,him ,^: look 0 z x 7 hidd5 & despis$4#c ,:at a future ?is alliance op5s up6 ,h[ c ,i ?ank ,him1 h[ r5d] myself less unwor?y ( s great a fav\r8 ,i ?ir/ aft] ,heav51 t bless$ abode :]e our love = ,jesus w be )\t b\nds4 ,true1 we mu/ pass ?r\gh suff]+ & te>s to rea* t home1 b ,i wi% to suff] all t my ,belov$ is pleas$ to s5d me2 ,i wi% to let ,him d z ,he wills ) ,8 little ball4 ,y tell me1 de>e/ ,godmo!r1 t my ,holy ,*ild is beautifully adorn$ = my w$d+-day2#d p]haps1 h[ev]1 y wond] :y ,i h n put new rose-col\r$ c&les4 ,! old ones appeal to me m because !y 7 light$ = ! fir/ "t on my clo?+-day4 ,!y 7 !n fre% & ( rosy hue4 ,papa _h giv5 !m to me2 he 0 !re1 & all 0 joyful4 ,b n[ _! t9t has fad$4 ,are !re yet any rose-col\r$ joys on e>? = y\r little ,?rse8 ,no1 = h] !re are only heav5ly joys2 joys :]e ! holl[ness ( all ?+s gives place to ! ,uncreat$ ,reality4 ,,vi ,,my ,,de>e/ ,,si/]1--,i d n f9d x difficult to answ] y4 4 4 4 ,h[ c y ask me if x be possible = y to love ,god z ,i love ,him6 ,my desire = m>tyrdom is z no?+2 x is n to t ,i owe ! b\ndless confid5ce t fills my he>t4 ,su* desires might be describ$ z spiritual ri*es1 :i* are ! unju/ mammon1#e :5 "o is complac5t 9 !m z 9 some?+ great4 4 4 4 ,^! aspirations are a consolation ,jesus sometimes grants to weak s\ls l m9e--& !re are _m su*6 ,b :5 ,he )holds ?is consolation1 x is a special grace4 ,rememb] ^! words ( a holy monk3 ,! m>tyrs suff]$ ) joy1 & ! ,k+ ( ,m>tyrs 9 sorr[4 ,did n ,jesus cry out3 ,my fa!r1 remove ?is *alice f ,me8#f ,d n ?9k1 !n1 t my desires are a pro( ( my love4 ,inde$ ,i "k well t x is c]ta9ly n ^! desires :i* make ,god take pleasure 9 my s\l4 ,:at does please ,him is to f9d me love my littl5ess1 my pov]ty3 x is ! bl9d tru/ :i* ,i h 9 ,8 ,m]cy4 4 4 4 ,!re is my sole treasure1 de>e/ ,godmo!r1 & :y %\ld x n be y\rs8 ,are y n ready to suff] all t ,god wills8 ,assur$ly2 & s if y wi% to "k joy & to love suff]+1 y are really seek+ y\r own consolation1 because once we love1 all suff]+ disappe>s4 ,v]ily1 if we 7 to g toge!r to m>tyrdom1 y w\ld ga9 great m]it1 & ,i %\ld h none1 unless x pleas$ ,our ,"l to *ange my dispositions4 ,de> si/]1 d y n und]/& t to love ,jesus & to be ,8 ,victim ( ,love1 ! m weak & wret*$ we are ! bett] mat]ial d we make = ?is consum+ & transfigur+ ,love8 4 4 4 ,! simple desire to be a ,victim suffices1 b we mu/ also cons5t to ev] rema9 poor & helpless1 & "h lies ! difficulty3 ,:]e %all we f9d "o t is truly poor 9 _s8 ,we mu/ seek him af> (f1 says ! au?or ( ! ,imitation4#g ,he does n say t we mu/ se>* among great s\ls1 b af> (f--t is to say1 9 abasem5t & 9 no?+ness4 ,let u rema9 f> f all t dazzles1 lov+ our littl5ess1 & cont5t to h no joy4 ,!n we %all be truly poor 9 _s1 & ,jesus w come to seek u h[ev] f> (f we may be1 & trans=m u into flames ( ,love4 4 4 4 ,i long to make y und]/& :at ,i feel4 ,confid5ce alone mu/ lead u to ,love4 4 4 4 ,does n fe> lead to ! ?\ght ( ! /rict ju/ice t is ?reat5$ to s9n]s8 ,b t is n ! ju/ice ,jesus w %[ to su* z love ,him4 ,god w\ld n v\*safe y ! desire to be ! ,victim ( ,8 ,m]ciful ,love1 7 ?is n a fav\r 9 /ore--or r already grant$1 s9ce y are :olly surr5d]$ unto ,him & long to be consum$ by ,him1 & ,god nev] inspires a long+ :i* ,he _c fulfill4 ,! road lies cle>1 & along x we mu/ run toge!r4 ,i feel t ,jesus wi%es to be/[ on u ! same graces2 ,he wi%es to grant u bo? a free entrance into ,8 ,heav5ly ,k+dom4 ,de>e/ ,godmo!r1 y w\ld l to he> /ill m ( ! secrets :i* ,jesus confides to y\r *ild1 b human spee* _c tell :at ! human he>t itself c sc>cely conceive4 ,besides1 ,jesus confides ,8 secrets to y likewise4 ,?is ,i "k1 = y x 0 :o taught me to li/5 to ,8 ,div9e tea*+4 ,on ! day ( my ,baptism y promis$ 9 my "n t ,i w\ld s]ve ,him alone4 ,y 7 ! ,angel :o l$ me & guid$ me 9 my days ( exile & (f]$ me to ,our ,"l4 ,z a *ild loves its "m1 ,i love y2 9 ,heav5 only w y realise ! gratitude ) :i* my he>t is full to ov]fl[+4 ,y\r little daught]1 ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus4 #a ,eccles4 #bd3bi4 #b ,apoc4 #ba3d4 #c ,isa4 #ec3c4 #d ,%e alludes to ! ,/atue ( ! ,holy ,*ild 9 ! cloi/]1 :i* 0 "u h] own special c>e4 ,ed4 #e ,luke #af3b4 #f ,luke #bb3db4 #g ,cf4 ,imit41 ,,ii1 xi4 #d4 ,,lett]s ,,to ,,si/] ,,frances ,,t]esa#a ,i ,augu/ #ac1 #ahic4 ,,de> ,,little ,,si/]1--,at la/ y\r desires are satisfi$4 ,l ! dove s5t =? f ! ark1 y h be5 unable to f9d a spot on e>? :]eon to re/1 & h long be5 on ! w+ seek+ to re-ent] ! bless$ abode :]e y\r he>t _h = ev] fix$ its home4 ,jesus has kept y wait+1 b at la/1 t\*$ by ! pla9tive cry ( ,8 dove1 ,he has put =? ,8 ,div9e ,h&1 &1 tak+ hold ( x1 has set x 9 ,8 ,he>t--t sanctu>y ( ,8 ,love4 ,x is q a spiritual joy1 ?is joy ( m9e4 ,= ,i %all nev] look ^u y aga91 nev] he> y\r voice z ,i outp\r my he>t into y\rs4 ,yet ,i "k t e>? is b a halt+-place to u :o j\rney t[>ds a ,heav5ly ,home4 ,:at matt] if ! r\tes we foll[ lie ap>t8 ,our goal is ! same--t ,heav5 :]e we %all meet1 no m to be sep>at$4 ,!re we %all ta/e = ev] ! sweets ( our e>?ly home4 ,we %all h mu* to tell "o ano!r :5 ?is exile is end$4 ,spee* "h bel[ is s inadequate1 b a s+le glance w be en\gh = p]fect und]/&+ 9 our home beyond2 & ,i believe t our happ9ess w be great] ?an if we _h nev] be5 p>t$ "h4 ,mean:ile we mu/ live by sacrifice4 ,)\t x !re w\ld be no m]it 9 ! religi\s life4 ,z someone told u 9 a conf]5ce3 ,! reason :y ! =e/ oak raises its head s high is because1 hemm$ 9 on all sides1 x wa/es no sap 9 putt+ =? bran*es und]nea?1 b t[]s al(t4 ,?us 9 ! religi\s life ! s\l1 h$g$ 9 all ar\nd by ! rule & by ! practice ( community life1 ( necessity f9ds !re a means ( lift+ a high head t[>ds ,heav54 ,de>e/ si/]1 pray = y\r little ,?rse t %e may draw pr(it f h] exile on e>? & f ! pl5tiful means grant$ h] ( m]it+ ,heav54 ,,ii ,janu>y1 #ahie4 ,,de> ,,little ,,si/]1--,h[ fruitful = ,heav5 has be5 ! ye> t is gone6 4 4 4 ,our de> ,fa!r has se5 t :i* ! eye ( man _c see1 he has he>d ! m9/relsy ( ! angels 4 4 4 n[ 8 he>t und]/&s1 & 8 s\l enjoys ! ?+s :i* ,god ha? prep>$ = ^? :o love ,him4#b 4 4 4 ,our turn w come1 & x is full sweet to ?9k our sails are set t[>ds ! ,et]nal ,%ore4 ,d y n f9d1 z ,i d1 t our belov$ ,fa!r's dea? has drawn u ne>] to ,heav58 ,m ?an half ( our lov$ ones already enjoy ! ,vision ( ,god1 & ! five :o rema9 9 exile w foll[ soon4 ,?is ?\ght ( ! %ortness ( life gives me c\rage1 & helps me to put up ) ! we>9ess ( ! j\rney4 ,:at matt]s a little toil ^u e>?8 ,we pass 4 4 4 ,we h n "h a la/+ city4#c ,?9k ( y\r ,?rse dur+ ?is mon? consecrat$ to ! ,infant ,jesus1 & beg ( ,him t %e may always rema9 a v little *ild4 ,i w (f] ! same pray] = y1 because ,i "k y\r desires1 & t humility is y\r fav\rite virtue4 ,:i* ,?rse w be ! m f]v5t8 4 4 4 ,%e :o w be ! m humble1 ! m closely unit$ to ,jesus1 & ! m fai?ful 9 mak+ love ! ma9spr+ ( e action4 ,we mu/ n let slip "o s+le occasion ( sacrifice1 ev]y?+ has su* value 9 ! religi\s life 4 4 4 ,pick up a p9 f a motive ( love1 & y may !reby conv]t a s\l4 ,jesus alone c make our de$s ( su* wor?1 s let u love ,him ) e fibre ( our he>t4 ,,iii ,july #ab1 #ahif4 ,,my ,,de> ,,little ,l,,onie1--,i %\ld h answ]$ y\r lett] la/ ,sunday if x _h be5 giv5 to me1 b y "k t1 be+ ! y\nge/1 ,i run ! risk ( n see+ lett]s = "s consid]able "t aft] my si/]s1 & occasionally n at all4 ,i only read y\rs on ,friday1 s =give my delay4 ,y are "r--,jesus is cont5t ) a t5d] look or a sigh ( love4 ,= my "p1 ,i f9d x q easy to practise p]fection1 n[ t ,i realise x only means mak+ ,jesus captive ?r\gh ,8 ,he>t4 ,look at a little *ild :o has j vex$ its "m1 ei!r by giv+ way to temp] or by disob$i5ce4 ,if x hides 9 a corn] & is sulky1 or if x cries = fe> ( be+ puni%$1 its "m w c]ta9ly n =give ! fault4 ,b %\ld x run to h] ) its little arms out/rete*$1 & say2 ,kiss me1 ,"m2 ,i w n d x aga96 :at "m w\ld n /raightway clasp h] *ild lov+ly to h] he>t1 & =get all x _h done8 4 4 4 ,%e kn[s q well t h] little "o w repeat ! fault--no matt]1 h] d>l+ w escape all puni%m5t s long z x makes appeal to h] he>t4 ,ev5 :5 ! law ( fe> 0 9 =ce1 be=e ,our ,"l's com+1 ! prophet ,isaias said--speak+ 9 ! "n ( ! ,k+ ( ,heav53 ,c a woman =get h] babe8 4 4 4 ,& if %e %\ld =get1 yet w ,i n =get !e4#d ,:at a t\*+ promise6 ,we :o live "u ! law ( ,love1 %all we n pr(it by ! lov+ advances made by our ,sp\se8 ,h[ c anybody fe> ,him ,:o all[s ,himself to be made captive ) "o hair ( our neck8#e ,let u le>n to keep ,him prison]--?is ,god1 ! ,div9e ,begg> ( love4 ,by tell+ u t a s+le hair c "w ?is wond]1 ,he %[s u t ! smalle/ actions done = ,8 ,love are ^? :i* *>m ,8 ,he>t4 ,if x 7 necess>y to d great ?+s1 we %\ld be des]v+ ( pity1 b we are happy beyond measure1 because ,jesus lets ,himself be l$ captive by ! smalle/ action4 4 4 4 ,) y1 de> ,lonie1 little sacrifices are nev] lack+4 ,is n y\r life made up ( !m8 ,i rejoice to see y 9 pres5ce ( su* weal?1 especially :5 ,i rememb] t y "k h[ to make pr(it !reby1 n only = y\rself b likewise = poor s9n]s4 ,x is s sweet to help ,jesus to save ! s\ls :i* ,he has ransom$ at ! price ( ,8 ,preci\s ,blood1 & :i* only await our help to keep !m f ! abyss4 ,x seems to me t if our sacrifices take ,jesus captive1 our joys make ,him prison] too4 ,all t is ne$ful to atta9 ?is end is1 t in/ead ( giv+ ourselves ov] to selfi% happ9ess1 we (f] to our ,sp\se ! little joys ,he scatt]s 9 our pa?1 to *>m our he>ts & draw !m t[>ds ,him4 ,y ask = news ( my heal?4 ,well1 my c\gh has q disappe>$4 ,does t please y8 ,x w n prev5t ,our ,"l f tak+ me to ,himself :5soev] ,he wi%es4 ,& ,i ne$ n prep>e = t j\rney1 s9ce my :ole endeav\r is to rema9 z a little *ild4 ,jesus ,himself mu/ pay all its exp5ses1 z well z ! price ( my admission to ,heav54 ,good-bye1 de>e/ "o1 pray to ,him )\t fail = ! la/ & lea/ ( y\r si/]s4 ,,iv ,july #ag1 #ahig4 ,,my ,,de> ,l,,onie1--,i am s pleas$ to be able to write to y aga94 ,"s days ago ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld nev] aga9 h ?is consolation1 b x seems ,god wi%es to prolong some:at ! "t ( my exile4 ,?is does n tr\ble me--,i w\ld n ent] ,heav5 "o mom5t soon] ?r\gh my own w4 ,! only real happ9ess on e>? is to /rive always to ?9k h[ goodly is ! *alice#f t ,jesus give u4 ,y\rs is inde$ a goodly "o1 de> ,lonie4 ,if y wi% to be a ,sa9t--& x w n be h>d--keep only "o end 9 view3 give pleasure to ,jesus1 & b9d y\rself m closely to ,him4 ,good-bye1 my de> si/]1 ,i %\ld wi% ! ?\ght ( my ent]+ ,heav5 to fill y ) joy1 because ,i %all !n be bett] able to give y pro( ( my t5d] love4 ,9 ! ,he>t ( our ,heav5ly ,sp\se we %all live ,8 v life1 & ?r\gh et]nity ,i %all rema91 ,y\r v little si/]1 ,,t]esa ,,( ,,! ,,*ild ,,jesus4 #a ,ne>ly all ! lett]s writt5 by ,soeur ,?rse to h] si/] ,lonie are lo/4 ,^! few h be5 recov]$4 ,x w be rememb]$ t ,lonie ent]$ ! ,conv5t ( ! ,visitation at ,ca54 ,see note1 page #aac4 #b ,cf4 ,i ,cor4 #b3i4 #c ,heb4 #ac3ad4 #d ,isa4 #di3ae4 #e ,cant4 #d3i4 #f ,ps4 #bbbc3e4 ,,lett]s ,,to ,,h] ,,c\s9 ,,m>ie ,,gu,,r9 ,i #ahhh4 ,be=e y confid$ 9 me1#a ,i felt y 7 suff]+1 & my he>t 0 "o ) y\rs4 ,s9ce y h ! humility to ask advice ( y\r little ,?rse1 ?is is :at %e ?9ks3 y h griev$ me greatly by ab/a9+ f ,holy ,communion1 because y h griev$ ,our ,"l4 ,! devil mu/ be v cunn+ to deceive a s\l 9 ?is way4 ,d y n "k1 de> ,m>ie1 t by act+ ?us y help him to accompli% 8 end8 ,! trea*]\s creature kn[s q well t :5 a s\l is /riv+ to belong :olly to ,god he _c cause h] to s91 s he m]ely tries to p]suade h] t %e has s9n$4 ,?is is a consid]able ga91 b n en\gh to satisfy 8 hatr$1 s he aims at some?+ m1 & tries to %ut out ,jesus f a tab]nacle :i* ,jesus covets4 ,unable to ent] ?is sanctu>y himself1 he wi%es t at lea/ x rema9 empty & )\t its ,god4 ,alas1 :at w become ( t poor little he>t8 ,:5 ! devil has succe$$ 9 keep+ a s\l f ,holy ,communion he has ga9$ all 8 ends 4 4 4 :ile ,jesus weeps6 4 4 4 ,rememb]1 little ,m>ie1 t ?is sweet ,jesus is !re 9 ! ,tab]nacle expressly = y & y alone4 ,rememb] t ,he burns ) ! desire to ent] y\r he>t4 ,d n li/5 to satan4 ,laugh him to scorn1 & g )\t fe> to receive ,jesus1 ! ,god ( peace & ( love4 ,?rse ?9ks all ?is--y say--because %e does n "k my difficulties4 ,%e does "k1 & kn[s !m well2 %e und]/&s ev]y?+1 & %e tells y confid5tly t y c g )\t fe> to receive y\r only true ,fri5d4 ,%e1 too1 has pass$ ?r\gh ! m>tyrdom ( scruples1 b ,jesus gave h] ! grace to receive ! ,bless$ ,sacram5t always1 ev5 :5 %e imag9$ %e _h committ$ great s9s4 ,i assure y ,i h f\nd t ?is is ! only means ( ridd+ oneself ( ! devil4 ,:5 he sees t he is los+ 8 "t he leaves u 9 peace4 ,9 tru? x is impossible t a he>t :i* c only f9d re/ 9 contemplation ( ! ,tab]nacle--& y\rs is su*1 y tell me--c\ld s f> (f5d ,our ,"l z n to be able to receive ,him 4 4 4 ,:at does (f5d ,jesus1 :at w\nds ,him to ! ,he>t1 is want ( confid5ce4 ,pray mu* t ! be/ portion ( y\r life may n be ov]%ad[$ by idle fe>s4 ,we h only life's brief mom5ts to sp5d = ! ,glory ( ,god1 & well does satan "k x4 ,?is is :y he employs e ruse to make u consume !m 9 useless lab\r4 ,de> si/]1 g (t5 to ,holy ,communion1 g v (t5--t is y\r "o rem$y4 ,,ii #ahid ,y are l "s little village maid5 :o1 :5 s\ght 9 m>riage by a mighty k+ w\ld n d>e to accept him1 on ! plea t %e is n ri* en\gh1 & is /range to ! ways ( a c\rt4 ,b does n h] royal lov] "k bett] ?an %e does1 ! ext5t ( h] pov]ty & ignorance8 ,m>ie1 ?\gh y are no?+1 d n =get t ,jesus is ,all4 ,y h only to lose y\r own no?+ness 9 t ,inf9ite ,all1 & !nce=? to ?9k only ( t ,all :o alone is wor?y ( y\r love4 ,y tell me y wi% to see ! fruit ( y\r ef=ts4 ,t is exactly :at ,jesus w\ld hide f y4 ,he likes to contemplate by ,himself ^! little fruits ( our virtue4 ,!y console ,him4 ,y are q wrong1 ,m>ie1 if y ?9k t ,?rse walks eag]ly along ! way ( ,sacrifice3 h] weakness is /ill v great1 & e day "s new & :olesome exp]i5ce br+s ?is home m cle>ly4 ,yet ,jesus delights to tea* h] h[ to glory 9 h] infirmities4#b ,x is a great grace1 & ,i pray ,him to give x to y1 = ) x come peace & tranquillity ( he>t4 ,:5 we see our mis]y we d n l to look at ourselves b only ^u our ,belov$4 ,y ask me = a me?od ( obta9+ p]fection4 ,i "k ( ,love--& ,love only6 ,our he>ts are made = ?is alone4 ,sometimes ,i endeav\r to f9d "s o!r ^w = love2 b 9 a l& ( exile words :i* h a beg9n+ & an end#c are q unable to r5d] adequately ! emotions ( ! s\l1 & s we mu/ keep to ! "o simple ^w--,,love4 ,b on :om %all our poor he>ts lavi% ?is love1 & :o w be wor?y ( ?is treasure8 ,is !re anyone :o w und]/& x &--above all--is !re anyone :o w be able to repay8 ,m>ie1 ,jesus alone und]/&s love3 ,he alone c give back all--yea1 inf9itely m ?an ! utmo/ we c give4 #a ,! allusion is to ! scruples f :i* ,m>ie suff]$4 ,hav+ read ?is lett]--:i* is a /rong plea = ,frequ5t ,communion--,pope ,pius ,x decl>$ x mo/ opportune4 ,?rse 0 b fifte5 :5 %e wrote x4 ,ed4 #b #b ,cor4 #aa3e4 #c ,/4 ,augu/9e4 ,,lett] ,,to ,,h] ,,c\s91 ,,jeanne ,,gu,,r9 7,,madame ,,la ,n,,ele7 ,augu/1 #ahie4 ,x is a v great sacrifice t ,god has ask$ ( y1 my de> ,jeanne1 9 call+ y\r little ,m>ie to ! ,c>mel2 b rememb] t ,he has promis$ a hundr$fold to anyone :o = ,8 ,love ha? left fa!r or "m or si/]4#a ,n[1 = love ( ,jesus1 y h n hesitat$ to "p ) a si/] de>] to y ?an words c say1 & !re=e ,he is b\nd to keep ,8 promise4 ,i "k t ^! words are g5]ally appli$ to ^? :o ent] ! religi\s life1 b my he>t tells me !y 7 spok51 too1 = ^? ^: g5]osity is su* t !y w sacrifice to ,god ev5 ! lov$ ones !y hold de>] ?an life itself4 #a ,m>k #aj3cj4 ,,lett]s ,,to ,,h] ,,bro!r ,,mission>ies ,i #ahie4 ,our ,div9e ,"l asks no sacrifice beyond our /r5g?4 ,at times1 x is true1 ,he makes u ta/e to ! full ! bitt]ness ( ! *alice ,he puts to our lips4 ,& :5 ,he dem&s ! sacrifice ( all t is de>e/ on e>?1 x is impossible )\t a v special grace n to cry out z ,he did dur+ ,8 ,agony 9 ! ,g>d53 ,my ,fa!r1 let ?is *alice pass f me6 ,b we mu/ ha/5 to add3 ,yet n z ,i w1 b z ,?\ wilt4#a ,x is s consol+ to ?9k t ,jesus1 ! ,/rong ,god1#b has felt all our weaknesses & %udd]$ at ! sight ( ! bitt] *alice--t v *alice ,he _h s ard5tly desir$4 ,y\r lot is inde$ a beautiful "o1 s9ce ,our ,"l has *os5 x = y1 & has fir/ t\*$ ) ,8 own ,lips ! cup :i* ,he holds out to y\rs4 ,a ,sa9t has said3 ,! greate/ hon\r ,god c be/[ ^u a s\l is n to give to x great ?+s1 b to ask ( x great ?+s4 ,jesus treats y z a privileg$ *ild4 ,x is ,8 wi% y %\ld beg9 y\r mission ev5 n[1#c & save s\ls ?r\gh ! ,cross4 ,0 x n by suff]+ & dea? t ,he ransom$ ! _w8 ,i "k t y aspire to ! happ9ess ( lay+ d[n y\r life = ,him2 b ! m>tyrdom ( ! he>t is n less fruitful ?an ! %$d+ ( blood1 & ?is m>tyrdom is already y\rs4 ,h ,i n1 !n1 good reason to say t y\r lot is a beautiful "o--wor?y an apo/le ( ,*ri/8 ,,ii #ahif4 ,let u "w toge!r = ! salvation ( s\ls6 ,we h b ! "o day ( ?is life to save !m1 & s give to ,our ,"l a pro( ( our love4 ,to-morr[ w be ,et]nity1 !n ,jesus w rew>d y a hundr$fold = ! sweet joys y h giv5 up = ,him4 ,he kn[s ! ext5t ( y\r sacrifice4 ,he kn[s t ! suff]+s ( ^? y hold de> increase y\r own2 b ,he has suff]$ ?is same m>tyrdom = our salvation4 ,he1 too1 left ,8 ,"m2 ,he beheld t s9less ,virg9 /&+ at ! foot ( ! ,cross1 h] he>t pi]c$ ?r\gh ) a sword ( sorr[1 & ,i hope he w console y\r own de> "m4 4 4 4 ,i beg ,him mo/ e>ne/ly to d s4 ,ah6 ,if ! ,div9e ,ma/] w\ld p]mit ^? y are ab\t to leave = ,8 ,love b "o glimpse ( ! glory 9 /ore1 & ! va/ ret9ue ( s\ls t w escort y to ,heav51 already !y w\ld be repaid = ! great sacrifice t is at h&4 ,,iii ,febru>y #bd1 #ahif4 ,please say ?is little pray] = me ea* day2 x sums up all my desires3 ,m]ciful ,fa!r1 9 ! "n ( ,?y sweet ,jesus1 ( ! ,bless$ ,virg91 & all ! ,sa9ts1 ,i beg ,!e to consume my si/] ) ,?y _s ( love1 & to grant h] ! grace to make ,!e greatly lov$4 ,if ,our ,"l takes me soon to ,himself1 ,i ask y /ill to cont9ue ?is pray]1 because my long+ w be ! same 9 ,heav5 z ^u e>?3 to love ,jesus & to make ,him lov$4 ,,iv 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,all ,i desire is ,god's ,holy ,w1 & if 9 ,heav5 ,i c\ld no long] "w = ,8 glory1 ,i %\ld pref] exile to ,home4 ,v ,june #ba1 #ahig ,y may well s+ ( ! ,m]cies ( ,god6 ,!y %9e =? 9 y ) spl5d\r4 ,y love ,/4 ,augu/9e & ,/4 ,m>y ,magdal51 ^? s\ls to :om _m s9s 7 =giv5 because !y lov$ mu*4 ,i love !m too2 ,i love _! sorr[1 & especially _! audaci\s love4 ,:5 ,i see ,m>y ,magdal5 come =? be=e all ,simon's gue/s to wa% ) h] te>s h] ,ma/]'s ,feet--^? ,feet t = ! fir/ "t %e t\*es--,i feel h] he>t has fa?om$ t abyss ( love & m]cy1 ! ,he>t ( ,jesus2 & ,i feel1 too1 t n only 0 ,he will+ to =give1 b ev5 lib]ally to disp5se ! fav\rs ( a ,div9e & intimate fri5d%ip1 & to raise h] to ! l(tie/ heights ( pray]4 ,my ,bro!r1 s9ce ,i also h be5 giv5 to und]/& ! ,love ( ! ,he>t ( ,jesus1 ,i confess t all fe> has be5 driv5 f m9e4 ,! remembrance ( my faults humbles me2 & x helps me nev] to rely ^u my own /r5g?--:i* is b weakness--b m ?an all1 x speaks to me ( m]cy & ( love4 ,:5 a s\l ) *ildlike tru/ ca/s h] faults into ,love's all-dev\r+ furnace1 h[ %all !y escape be+ utt]ly consum$8 ,i "k t _m ,sa9ts h pass$ _! lives 9 ! practice ( amaz+ p5ance = ! sake ( expiat+ _! s9s4 ,b :at ( t8 ,9 my ,fa!r's h\se !re are _m mansions4#d ,^! are ! words ( ,jesus1 & !re=e ,i foll[ ! pa? ,he m>ks out = me2 ,i try to be n[ise conc]n$ ab\t myself & :at ,jesus deigns to accompli% 9 my s\l4 ,,vi #ahig4 ,on ?is e>? :]e ev]y?+ *anges1 "o ?+ alone does nev] *ange--our ,heav5ly ,k+'s treatm5t ( ,8 fri5ds4 ,f ! day ,he rais$ ! /&>d ( ! ,cross1 9 its %ad[ all mu/ fight & w94 ,! life ( e mission>y ab\nds 9 crosses1 said ,?ophane ,vn>d4 ,& aga93 ,true happ9ess consi/s 9 suff]+1 & 9 ord] to live we mu/ die4 ,rejoice1 my ,bro!r1 t ! fir/ ef=ts ( y\r ,apo/olate are /amp$ ) ! seal ( ! ,cross4 ,f> m by suff]+ & by p]secution ?an by eloqu5t disc\rses does ,jesus wi% to build up ,8 ,k+dom4 ,y are /ill--y tell me--a little *ild :o _c speak4 ,nei!r c\ld ,fa!r ,mazel1 :o 0 orda9$ ) y1 & yet he has already won ! palm 4 4 4 ,f> beyond our ?\ghts are ! ?\ghts ( ,god6 ,:5 ,i le>nt t ?is "y mission>y _h di$ be=e he _h set foot on ! field ( 8 lab\rs1 ,i felt myself drawn to invoke him4 ,i seem$ to see him amid/ ! glori\s ,m>tyr *oir4 ,no d\bt1 9 ! eyes ( m5 he does n m]it ! title ( ,m>tyr1 b 9 ! eyes ( ,god ?is +lori\s dea? is no less preci\s ?an ! sacrifice ( him :o lays d[n 8 life = ! ,fai?4 ,?\gh "o mu/ be exce$+ pure be=e appe>+ 9 ! sight ( ! ,all-,holy ,god1 /ill ,i "k t ,he is inf9itely j1 & ?is v ,ju/ice :i* t]rifies s _m s\ls is ! s\rce ( all my confid5ce & joy4 ,ju/ice is n only /]n sev]ity t[>ds ! guilty2 x takes acc\nt ( ! good int5tion1 & gives to virtue its rew>d4 ,inde$ ,i hope z mu* f ! ,ju/ice ( ,god z f ,8 ,m]cy4 ,x is because ,he is j1 t ,he is compassionate & m]ciful1 longsuff]+1 & pl5te\s 9 m]cy4 ,= ,he kn[e? our frame1 ,he rememb]e? t we are du/4 ,z a fa!r ha? compassion on 8 *ildr51 s ha? ! ,"l compassion on u4#e ,o my ,bro!r1 aft] ^! beautiful & consol+ words ( ! ,royal ,prophet1 h[ c we d\bt ,god's p[] to op5 ! gates ( ,8 ,k+dom to ,8 *ildr5 :o h lov$ ,him unto p]fect sacrifice1 :o h n only left home & c\ntry s z to make ,him kn[n & lov$1 b ev5 long to lay d[n _! lives = ,him8 4 4 4 ,jesus said truly !re is no great] love ?an ?is4 ,nor w ,he be outdone 9 g5]osity4 ,h[ c\ld ,he cleanse 9 ! flames ( ,purgatory s\ls consum$ ) ! fire ( ,div9e ,love8 ,i h us$ _m words to express my ?\ght1 & yet ,i fe> ,i h fail$4 ,:at ,i wi% to convey is1 t 9 my op9ion all mission>ies are ,m>tyrs by w & desire1 & n ev5 "o %\ld pass ?r\gh ! purify+ flames4 ,?is1 !n1 is :at ,i ?9k ab\t ! ,ju/ice ( ,god2 my own way is all confid5ce & love1 & ,i _c und]/& ^? s\ls :o are afraid ( s affectionate a ,fri5d4 ,sometimes1 :5 ,i read books 9 :i* p]fection is put be=e u ) ! goal ob/ruct$ by a ?\s& ob/acles1 my poor little head is quickly fatigu$4 ,i close ! le>n$ treatise1 :i* tires my bra9 & dries up my he>t1 & ,i turn to ! ,sacr$ ,scriptures4 ,!n all becomes cle> & lightsome--a s+le ^w op5s out inf9ite vi/as1 p]fection appe>s easy1 & ,i see t x is en\gh to ackn[l$ge our no?+ness1 & l *ildr5 surr5d] ourselves into ! ,arms ( ! ,good ,god4 ,leav+ to great & l(ty m9ds ! beautiful books :i* ,i _c und]/&1 /ill less put 9 practice1 ,i rejoice 9 my littl5ess because only little *ildr5 & ^? :o are l !m %all be admitt$ to ! ,heav5ly banquet4#f ,=tunately--!re are _m mansions 9 my ,fa!r's ,h\se3#g if !re 7 only ^?--to me--incompreh5sible mansions ) _! baffl+ roads1 ,i %\ld c]ta9ly nev] ent] !re 4 4 4 ,,vii ,july #ac1 #ahig4 ,y\r s\l is too great to cl+ to ! consolations ( e>?1 & ev5 n[ its abode %\ld be 9 ,heav51 = x is writt53 ,:]e y\r treasure is1 !re w y\r he>t be also4#h ,is n ,jesus y\r only treasure8 ,n[ t ,he is 9 ,heav51 x is !re y\r he>t %\ld dwell4 ,?is sweet ,savi\r has long s9ce =gott5 y\r infidelities4 ,he sees only y\r long+ aft] p]fection1 & ! sight makes glad ,8 ,he>t4 ,/ay no long] at ,8 ,feet1 ,i besee* y1 b foll[ ?is fir/ impulse to ?r[ y\rself into ,8 ,arms4 ,y\r place is !re1 & ,i see cle>ly--m cle>ly ?an 9 y\r =m] lett]s--t all o!r heav5ly r\te is b>r$ to y save ! way y\r little si/] treads4 ,i hold ) y :5 y say t ! ,he>t ( ,jesus is m griev$ by ! ?\s& little imp]fections ( ,8 fri5ds ?an by ! faults1 ev5 grave1 :i* ,8 enemies commit4 ,yet x seems to me1 de> ,bro!r1 x is only :5 ^? :o are ,8 own are habitually guilty ( want ( ?\ght1 & neglect to seek ,8 p>don1 t ,he c say3 ,^! ,w\nds :i* y see 9 ! mid/ ( ,my ,h&s1 ,i h receiv$ 9 ! h\se ( ^? :o love ,me4#i ,b ,8 ,he>t ?rills ) y :5 ,he _h to deal ) all ^? :o truly love1 & :o aft] ea* little fault come to fl+ !mselves into ,8 ,arms implor+ =giv5ess4 ,he says to ,8 ,angels :at ! prodigal's fa!r said to 8 s]vants3 ,put a r+ ^u 8 f+]1 & let u rejoice4#aj ,o ,bro!r6 ,v]ily ! ,div9e ,he>t's ,goodness & ,m]ciful ,love are little kn[n6 ,x is true t to enjoy ^! treasures we mu/ humble ourselves1 mu/ confess our no?+ness 4 4 4 & "h is :]e _m a s\l draws back4 ,,viii #ahig4 ,:at attracts me t[>ds our ,heav5ly ,home is ! ,ma/]'s call--! hope ( lov+ ,him at la/ to ! fulfill+ ( all my desire--! ?\ght t ,i %all be able to w9 ,him ! love ( a multitude ( s\ls1 :o w bless ,him ?r\gh all et]nity4 ,i h nev] ask$ ,god t ,i might die "y--t to me 7 a c[>dly pray]2 b f my *ildhood ,he has deign$ to inspire me ) a /rong conviction t my life w\ld be a %ort "o4 ,i feel we mu/ tread ! same road to ,heav5--! road ( suff]+ & love4 ,:5 ,i myself h rea*$ ! port1 ,i w tea* y h[ be/ to sail ! _w's tempe/u\s sea--) ! self-ab&onm5t ( a *ild well aw>e ( a fa!r's love1 & ( 8 vigilance 9 ! h\r ( dang]4 ,i long s mu* to make y und]/& ! expectant love ( ! ,he>t ( ,jesus4 ,y\r la/ lett] has made my own he>t ?rill sweetly4 ,i le>nt h[ closely y\r s\l is si/] to m9e1 s9ce ,god calls t s\l to m\nt to ,himself by ! lift ( love1 )\t climb+ ! /eep /airway ( fe>4 ,i am n surpris$ y f9d x h>d to be famili> ) ,jesus--"o _c become s 9 a day2 b ?is ,i d "k1 ,i %all aid y mu* m to tread ?is beautiful pa? :5 ,i lay aside ! burd5 ( ?is p]i%able body4 ,ere long y w exclaim ) ,/4 ,augu/9e3 ,love is my lode/one6 ,,ix ,july #bf1 #ahig4 ,:5 y read ^! few l9es ,i %all p]haps be no m4 ,i "k n ! future2 yet ,i c confid5tly say t my ,sp\se is at ! door4 ,x w\ld ne$ a miracle to keep me 9 exile1 & ,i d n ?9k t ,jesus w "w t miracle--,he does no?+ t is ( no avail4 ,bro!r1 ,i am s happy to die6 ,yes1 happy 4 4 4 n because ,i %all be free f suff]+3 on ! contr>y1 suff]+ comb9$ ) love seems ! "o ?+ wor?y ( desire 9 ?is vale ( te>s2 b happy to die because f> m ?an on e>? ,i %all help ! s\ls ,i hold de>4 ,jesus has always treat$ me z a spoilt *ild4 4 4 4 ,x is true t ,8 ,cross has be5 ) me f ! cradle1 b = t ,cross ,he has giv5 me a passionate love 4 4 4 ,x ,augu/ #ad1 #ahig4 ,i am ab\t to g be=e ,god1 & ,i und]/& n[ m ?an ev] t "o ?+ only is ne$ful--to "w = ,him alone1 & d no?+ = self or creatures4 ,jesus wi%es to own y\r he>t completely4 ,be=e ?is c be1 y w h mu* to suff] 4 4 4 b oh6 :at joy :5 comes ! happy h\r ( go+ ,home6 ,i %all n die--,i d b ent] into ,life 4 4 4 & :atsoev] ,i _c tell y "h ^u e>? ,i w make y und]/& f ! heights ( ,heav54 4 4 4 #a ,matt4 #bf3ci4 #b ,isa4 #i3f4 #c ,?is lett] & ! foll[+ are address$ to a ,sem9>i/4 ,ed4 #d ,john #ad3b4 #e ,ps4 #ajbajc3h1 #ad1 #ac4 #f ,cf4 ,matt4 #ai3ad4 #g ,john #ad3b4 #h ,luke #ab3cd4 #i ,cf4 ,za*4 #ac3f4 #aj ,cf4 ,luke #ae3bb4 ,,pray]s ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se1 ,,! ,,little ,,fl[] ,,( ,,jesus ,,an ,,act ,,( ,,oblation ,,z ,a ,,victim ,,( ,,div9e ,,love ,?is ,pray] 0 f\nd aft] ! dea? ( ,si/] ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus & ( ! ,holy ,face 9 ! copy ( ! ,gospels :i* %e c>ri$ night & day close to h] he>t4 ,o my ,god1 ,o ,mo/ ,bless$ ,tr9ity1 ,i desire to love ,!e & to make ,!e lov$--to lab\r = ! glory ( ,holy ,*ur* by sav+ s\ls "h ^u e>? & by deliv]+ ^? suff]+ 9 ,purgatory4 ,i desire to fulfill p]fectly ,?y ,holy ,w1 & to rea* ! degree ( glory ,?\ ha/ prep>$ = me 9 ,?y ,k+dom4 ,9 a ^w1 ,i wi% to be holy1 b1 kn[+ h[ helpless ,i am1 ,i besee* ,!e1 my ,god1 to be ,?yself my hol9ess4 ,s9ce ,?\ ha/ lov$ me s mu* z to give me ,?y ,only-,begott5 ,son to be my ,savi\r & my ,sp\se1 ! inf9ite treasures ( ,8 m]its are m9e4 ,gladly d ,i (f] !m to ,!e1 & ,i beg ( ,!e to behold me only ?r\gh ! ,eyes ( ,jesus1 & 9 ,8 ,he>t aflame ) love4 ,moreov]1 ,i (f] ,!e all ! m]its ( ! ,sa9ts bo? ( ,heav5 & ( e>?1 toge!r ) _! acts ( love1 & ^? ( ! holy ,angels4 ,la/ly1 ,i (f] ,!e1 ,o ,bless$ ,tr9ity1 ! love & ! m]its ( ! ,bless$ ,virg91 my de>e/ ,"m--to h] ,i commit ?is ,oblation1 pray+ h] to pres5t x to ,!e4 ,dur+ ! days ( ,8 life on e>? h] ,div9e ,son1 my sweet ,sp\se1 spake ^! words3 ,if y ask ! ,fa!r any?+ 9 ,my ,"n1 ,he w give x y4#a ,!re=e ,i am c]ta9 ,?\ wilt fulfill my long+4 ,o my ,god1 ,i "k t ! m ,?\ wi%e/ to be/[1 ! m ,?\ do/ make u desire4 ,9 my he>t ,i feel b\ndless desires1 & ,i confid5tly besee* ,!e to take possession ( my s\l4 ,i _c receive ,!e 9 ,holy ,communion z (t5 z ,i %\ld wi%2 b1 ,o ,"l1 art ,?\ n all-p[]ful8 ,abide 9 me z ,?\ do/ 9 ! ,tab]nacle--nev] ab&on ,?y ,little ,victim4 ,i long to console ,!e = ungrateful s9n]s1 & ,i implore ,!e to take f me all lib]ty to s94 ,if ?r\gh weakness ,i %\ld *ance to fall1 may a glance f ,?9e ,eyes /raightway cleanse my s\l1 & consume all my imp]fections--z fire trans=ms all ?+s into itself4 ,i ?ank ,!e1 ,o my ,god1 = all ! graces ,?\ ha/ grant$ me3 especially = hav+ purifi$ me 9 ! crucible ( suff]+4 ,at ! ,day ( ,judgm5t ,i %all gaze on ,!e ) joy1 z ,?\ be>e/ ,?y sceptre ( ! ,cross4 ,& s9ce ,?\ ha/ deign$ to give me ?is preci\s ,cross z my portion1 ,i hope to be l unto ,!e 9 ,p>adise & to behold ! ,sacr$ ,w\nds ( ,?y ,passion %9e on my glorifi$ body4 ,aft] e>?'s exile ,i tru/ to possess ,!e 9 ! ,home ( our ,fa!r2 b ,i d n seek to lay up treasures 9 ,heav54 ,i wi% to lab\r = ,?y ,love alone--) ! sole aim ( pleas+ ,!e1 ( consol+ ,?y ,sacr$ ,he>t1 & ( sav+ s\ls :o w love ,!e ?r\gh et]nity4 ,:5 comes ! ev5+ ( life1 ,i %all /& be=e ,!e ) empty h&s1 because ,i d n ask ,!e1 my ,god1 to take acc\nt ( my works4 ,all our works ( ju/ice are blemi%$ 9 ,?9e ,eyes4 ,i wi% !re=e to be rob$ ) ,?9e own ,ju/ice1 & to receive f ,?y ,love ! ev]la/+ gift ( ,?yself4 ,i desire no o!r ,?rone1 no o!r ,cr[n b ,!e1 ,o my ,belov$6 ,9 ,?y sight "t is naught--"o day is a ?\s& ye>s4#b ,?\ can/ 9 a s+le in/ant prep>e me to appe> be=e ,!e4 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 ord] t my life may be "o ,act ( p]fect ,love1 ,i (f] myself z a ,victim ( ,holocau/ to ,?y ,m]ciful ,love1 implor+ ,!e to consume me unceas+ly1 & to all[ ! floods ( inf9ite t5d]ness ga!r$ up 9 ,!e to ov]fl[ into my s\l1 t s ,i may become a v m>tyr ( ,?y ,love1 ,o my ,god6 ,may ?is m>tyrdom1 aft] hav+ prep>$ me to appe> 9 ,?y ,pres5ce1 free me f ?is life at ! la/1 & may my s\l take its flight--)\t delay--into ! et]nal embrace ( ,?y ,m]ciful ,love6 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,o my ,belov$1 ,i desire at e beat ( my he>t to r5ew ?is ,oblation an inf9ite numb] ( times1 till ! %ad[s retire1#c & ev]la/+ly ,i c tell ,!e my love face to face4 ,,m>y ,,frances ,,t]esa ,,( ,,! ,,*ild ,,jesus ,,& ,,( ,,! ,,holy ,,face4 ,! n9? ( ,june1 ,fea/ ( ! ,mo/ ,bless$ ,tr9ity1 ,9 ! ye> ( grace1 #ahie4 ,a ,,morn+ ,,pray] ,o my ,god6 ,i (f] ,!e all my actions ( ?is day = ! int5tions & = ! glory ( ! ,sacr$ ,he>t ( ,jesus4 ,i desire to sanctify e beat ( my he>t1 my e ?\ght1 my simple/ works1 by unit+ !m to ,its inf9ite m]its2 & ,i wi% to make rep>ation = my s9s by ca/+ !m into ! furnace ( ,its ,m]ciful ,love4 ,o my ,god6 ,i ask ( ,!e = myself & = ^? :om ,i hold de>1 ! grace to fulfil p]fectly ,?y ,holy ,w1 to accept = love ( ,!e ! joys & sorr[s ( ?is pass+ life1 s t we may "o day be unit$ toge!r 9 ,heav5 = all ,et]nity4 ,am54 ,,an ,,act ,,( ,,consecration ,,to ,,! ,,holy ,,face ,writt5 = ! ,novices ,o ,adorable ,face ( ,jesus1 s9ce ,?\ ha/ deign$ to make special *oice ( our s\ls1 9 ord] to give ,?yself to !m1 we come to consecrate ^! s\ls to ,!e4 ,we seem1 ,o ,jesus1 to he> ,!e say3 ,op5 to ,me1 ,my ,si/]s1 ,my ,sp\ses1 = ,my ,face is wet ) ! dew1 & ,my ,locks ) ! drops ( ! night4#d ,our s\ls und]/& ,?y language ( love2 we desire to wipe ,?y sweet ,face1 & to console ,!e = ! contempt ( ! wick$4 ,9 _! eyes ,?\ art /ill z x 7 hidd5 4 4 4 !y e/eem ,!e an object ( reproa*4#e ,o ,bless$ ,face1 m lovely ?an ! lilies & ! roses ( ! spr+1 ,?\ art n hidd5 f u4 ,! te>s :i* dim ,?9e ,eyes are z preci\s pe>ls :i* we delight to ga!r1 &1 ?r\gh _! inf9ite value1 to pur*ase ! s\ls ( our bre?r54 ,f ,?y ,adorable ,lips we h he>d ,?y lov+ pla9t3 ,i ?ir/4 ,s9ce we "k t ?is ?ir/ :i* consumes ,!e is a ?ir/ = love1 to qu5* x we w\ld wi% to possess an inf9ite love4 ,de> ,sp\se ( our s\ls1 if we c\ld love ) ! love ( all he>ts1 t love w\ld be ,?9e4 4 4 4 ,give u1 ,o ,"l1 ?is love6 ,!n come to ?y ,sp\ses & satisfy ,?y ,?ir/4 ,& give to u s\ls1 de> ,"l 4 4 4 ,we ?ir/ = s\ls6--,above all = ! s\ls ( ,apo/les & ,m>tyrs 4 4 4 t ?r\gh !m we may inflame all poor s9n]s ) love ( ,!e4 ,o ,adorable ,face1 we %all succe$ 9 w9n+ ?is grace f ,!e6 ,unm9dful ( our exile1 by ! riv]s ( ,babylon1 we w s+ 9 ,?9e ,e>s ! sweete/ ( melodies4 ,s9ce ,?\ art ! true & only ,home ( our s\ls1 our songs %all n be sung 9 a /range l&4#f ,o ,belov$ ,face ( ,jesus1 :ile we await ! ,et]nal ,day :5 we %all gaze ^u ,?9e ,inf9ite ,glory1 our only desire is to delight ,?y ,div9e ,eyes by keep+ our faces hidd5 too1 s t no "o on e>? may recognize u 4 4 4 ,de> ,jesus1 ,heav5 = u is ,?y ,hidd5 ,face6 ,,v>i\s ,,pray]s ,if y ask ! ,fa!r any?+ 9 ,my ,"n1 ,he w give x y4-- ,john #af3bc4 ,o ,et]nal ,fa!r1 ,?y ,only-,begott5 ,son1 ! de> ,*ild ,jesus1 belongs to me s9ce ,?\ ha/ giv5 ,him4 ,i (f] ,!e ! inf9ite m]its ( ,8 ,div9e ,*ildhood1 & ,i besee* ,!e 9 ,8 ,"n to op5 ! gates ( ,heav5 to a c\ntless ho/ ( little ones :o w = ev] foll[ ?is ,div9e ,lamb4 ,j z ! ,k+'s image is a talisman ?r\gh :i* any?+ may be pur*as$ 9 8 ,k+dom1 s ?r\gh ,my ,adorable ,face--t priceless co9 ( my ,humanity--y w obta9 all y desire4 ,our ,"l to ,si/] ,m>y ( ,/4 ,pet]4#g ,et]nal ,fa!r1 s9ce ,?\ ha/ giv5 me = my inh]itance ! ,adorable ,face ( ,?y ,div9e ,son1 ,i (f] t ,face to ,!e1 & ,i beg ,!e1 9 ex*ange = ?is co9 ( inf9ite value1 to =get ! +ratitude ( ^? s\ls :o are consecrat$ to ,!e1 & to p>don all poor s9n]s4 ,,pray] ,,to ,,! ,,holy ,,*ild ,o ,jesus1 de> ,holy ,*ild1 my only treasure1 ,i ab&on myself to ,?y e :im4 ,i seek no o!r joy ?an t ( call+ =? ,?y sweet ,smile4 ,v\*safe to me ! graces & ! virtues ( ,?y ,holy ,*ildhood1 s t on ! day ( my bir? into ,heav5 ! ,angels & ,sa9ts may recognise 9 ,?y ,sp\se3 ,t]esa ( ! ,*ild ,jesus4 ,,pray] ,,to ,,! ,,holy ,,face ,o ,adorable ,face ( ,jesus1 sole beauty :i* ravi%e? my he>t1 v\*safe to impress on my s\l ,?y ,div9e ,lik5ess1 s t x may n be possible = ,!e to look at ,?y ,sp\se )\t behold+ ,?yself4 ,o my ,belov$1 = love ( ,!e ,i am cont5t n to see "h on e>? ! sweetness ( ,?y ,glance1 nor to feel ! ineffable ,kiss ( ,?y ,sacr$ ,lips1 b ,i beg ( ,!e to inflame me ) ,?y ,love1 s t x may consume me quickly1 & t soon ,t]esa ( ! ,holy ,face may behold ,?y glori\s ,c\nt5ance 9 ,heav54 ,,pray] ,inspir$ by ! sight ( a /atue ( ,! ,bless$ ,joan ( ,arc ,o ,"l ,god ( ,ho/s1 :o ha/ said 9 ,?y ,gospel3 ,i am n come to br+ peace b a sword1#h arm me = ! combat4 ,i burn to d battle = ,?y ,glory1 b ,i pray ,!e to enliv5 my c\rage4 4 4 4 ,!n ) holy ,david ,i %all be able to exclaim3 ,?\ alone art my %ield2 x is ,?\1 ,o ,"l ,:o tea*e/ my h&s to fight4#i ,o my ,belov$1 ,i "k ! w>f>e 9 :i* ,i am to engage2 x is n on ! op5 field ,i %all fight4 4 4 4 ,i am a prison] held captive by ,?y ,love2 ( my own free w ,i h rivet$ ! fett]s :i* b9d me to ,!e1 & cut me (f = ev] f ! _w4 ,my sword is ,love6 ) x--l ,joan ( ,arc--,i w drive ! /rang]s f ! l&1 & ,i w h ,!e proclaim$ ,k+--ov] ! ,k+dom ( s\ls4 ,( a tru? ,?\ ha/ no ne$ ( s weak an in/rum5t z ,i1 b ,joan1 ?y *a/e & valiant ,sp\se1 has said3 ,we mu/ d battle be=e ,god gives ! victory4 ,o my ,jesus6 ,i w d battle1 !n1 = ,?y love1 until ! ev5+ ( my life4 ,z ,?\ did/ n w to enjoy re/ ^u e>?1 ,i wi% to foll[ ,?y example2 & !n ?is promise :i* came f ?y ,sacr$ ,lips w be fulfill$ 9 me3 ,if any man m9i/] to me1 let him foll[ ,me1 & :]e ,i am !re also %all ,my s]vant be1 & 4 4 4 him w ,my ,fa!r hon\r4#aj ,to be ) ,!e1 to be 9 ,!e1 t is my "o desire2 ?is promise ( fulfilm5t1 :i* ,?\ do/ give1 helps me to be> ) my exile z ,i wait ! joy\s ,et]nal ,day :5 ,i %all see ,!e face to face4 ,,pray] ,,to ,,obta9 ,,humility ,writt5 = a ,novice ,o ,,jesus6 ,:5 ,?\ wa/ a wayf>] ^u e>?1 ,?\ did/ say3--,le>n ( ,me1 = ,i am ,meek & ,humble ( ,he>t1 & y %all f9d re/ to y\r s\ls4#aa ,o ,almighty ,k+ ( ,heav56 my s\l inde$ f9ds re/ 9 see+ ,!e condesc5d to wa% ! feet ( ,?y ,apo/les--hav+ tak5 ! =m ( a slave4#ab ,i recall ! words ,?\ did/ utt] to tea* me ! practice ( humility3 ,i h giv5 y an example1 t z ,i h done to y1 s y d also4 ,! s]vant is n great] ?an 8 ,"l 4 4 4 ,if y "k ^! ?+s1 y %all be bless$ if y d !m4#ac ,i und]/&1 de> ,"l1 ^! words :i* come f ,?y ,meek & ,humble ,he>t1 & ,i wi% to put !m 9 practice ) ! help ( ,?y grace4 ,i desire to humble myself 9 all s9c]ity1 & to submit my w to t ( my ,si/]s1 )\t ev] contradict+ !m1 & )\t que/ion+ :e!r !y h ! "r to comm&4 ,no "o1 ,o my ,belov$6 _h t "r ov] ,!e1 & yet ,?\ did/ obey n only ! ,bless$ ,virg9 & ,/4 ,joseph1 b ev5 ,?y execution]s4 ,& n[1 9 ! ,holy ,eu*>i/1 ,i see ,!e complete ,?y self-abasem5t4 ,o ,div9e ,k+ ( ,glory1 ) wondr\s humility1 ,?\ do/ submit ,?yself to all ,?y ,prie/s1 )\t any di/9ction betwe5 ^? :o love ,!e & ^? :o1 alas6 are lukew>m or cold 9 ,?y s]vice4 ,!y may advance or delay ! h\r ( ! ,holy ,sacrifice3 ,?\ art always ready to come d[n f ,heav5 at _! call4 ,o my ,belov$1 "u ! :ite ,eu*>i/ic ,veil ,?\ do/ inde$ appe> to me ,meek & ,humble ( ,he>t6 ,to tea* me humility1 ,?\ can/ n fur!r abase ,?yself1 & s ,i wi% to respond to ,?y ,love1 by putt+ myself 9 ! l[e/ place1 by %>+ ,?y humiliations1 s t ,i may h "p ) ,!e#ad 9 ! ,k+dom ( ,heav54 ,i implore ,!e1 de> ,jesus1 to s5d me a humiliation :5soev] ,i try to set myself above o!rs4 ,& yet1 de> ,"l1 ,?\ kn[e/ my weakness4 ,ea* morn+ ,i resolve to be humble1 & 9 ! ev5+ ,i recognise t ,i h (t5 be5 guilty ( pride4 ,! sight ( ^! faults tempts me to disc\ragem5t2 yet ,i "k t disc\ragem5t is itself b a =m ( pride4 ,i wi%1 !re=e1 ,o my ,god1 to build all my tru/ ^u ,!e4 ,z ,?\ can/ d all ?+s1 deign to implant 9 my s\l ?is virtue :i* ,i desire1 & to obta9 x f ,?y ,inf9ite ,m]cy1 ,i w (t5 say to ,!e3 ,jesus1 ,meek & ,humble ( ,he>t1 make my he>t l unto ,?9e4 #a ,john #af3bc4 #b ,ps4 #cidj3d4 #c ,cant4 #d3f4 #d ,cf4 ,cant4 #e3b4 #e ,cf4 ,isa4 #ec3c4 #f ,cf4 ,ps4 #acfacg3d4 #g ,si/] ,m>y ( ,/4 ,pet] ent]$ ! ,c>mel ( ,t\rs 9 #ahdj4 ,?ree ye>s lat] %e _h ! fir/ ( a s]ies ( revelations conc]n+ devotion to ! ,holy ,face z a means ( rep>ation = blasphemy4 ,see ,life ( ,lon ,pap9-,dupont1 kn[n z ,! ,holy ,man ( ,t\rs4 #h ,matt4 #aj3cd4 #i ,cf4 ,ps4 #adcadd3a1 #b4 #aj ,john #ab3bf4 #aa ,matt4 #aa3bi4 #ab ,phil4 #b3g4 #ac ,john #ac3ae-ag4 #ad ,cf4 ,john #ac3h4 ,,motto ,,( ,,! ,,little ,,fl[] ,f ,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross ,,love ,,is ,,repaid ,,by ,,love ,,alone ,,my ,,days ,,( ,,grace ,bir?day 4 4 4 4 ,janu>y #b1 #ahgc ,baptism 4 4 4 4 ,janu>y #d1 #ahgc ,! ,smile ( ,our ,lady 4 ,may #aj1 #ahhc ,fir/ ,communion 4 4 ,may #h1 #ahhd ,confirmation 4 4 4 ,june #ad1 #ahhd ,conv]sion4 4 4 4 ,decemb] #be1 #ahhf ,audi5ce ) ,leo ,,xiii4 ,novemb] #bj1 #ahhg ,entry into ! ,c>mel 4 ,april #i1 #ahhh ,clo?+ 4 4 4 4 ,janu>y #aj1 #ahhi ,pr(ession4 4 4 4 ,septemb] #h1 #ahij ,tak+ ( ! ,veil4 4 ,septemb] #bd1 #ahij ,act ( ,oblation 4 4 ,june #i1 #ahie ,,entry ,,into ,,heav5--,septemb] #cj1 #ahig ,,select$ ,,poems ,,( ,,soeur ,,?,r,,se1 ,,! ,,little ,,fl[] ,,( ,,jesus ,,my ,,song ,,( ,,to-,,day ,oh6 h[ ,i love ,!e1 ,jesus6 my s\l aspires to ,!e-- ,& yet = "o day only my simple pray] ,i pray6 ,come reign )9 my he>t1 smile t5d]ly on me1 ,to-day1 de> ,"l1 to-day6 ,b if ,i d>e take ?\ght ( :at ! morr[ br+s1 ,x fills my fickle he>t ) dre>y1 dull dismay2 ,i crave1 inde$1 my ,god1 ! ,cross & suff]+s1 ,b only = to-day6 ,o sweete/ ,/> ( ,heav56 ,o ,virg91 spotless1 ble/1 ,%9+ ) ,jesus' light1 guid+ to ,him my way6 ,"m6 b5ea? ?y veil let my tir$ _s re/1 ,= ?is brief pass+ day6 ,soon %all ,i fly af> among ! holy *oirs1 ,!n %all be m9e ! joy t kn[e? no decay2 ,& !n my lips %all s+1 to ,heav5's angelic lyres1 ,! et]nal1 glad ,to-day6 ,june1 #ahid4 ,,memories ,select$ ,/anzas ,i f9d 9 my ,belov$ ! m\nta9s1 ! lonely & wood$ vales1 ! di/ant isles1 ! murmur ( ! wat]s1 ! s(t :isp] ( ! zephyrs 4 4 4 ! quiet night ) its si/] ! dawn1 ! p]fect solitude--all t delights & all t fires our love4--,/4 ,john ( ! ,cross4 ,i hold full sweet y\r memory1 ,my *ildhood days1 s glad1 s free4 ,to keep my innoc5ce1 de> ,"l1 = ,!e1 ,?y ,love came to me night & day1 ,alway4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,i lov$ ! swall[s' graceful flight1 ,! turtle doves' l[ *ant at night1 ,! pleasant s\nd ( insects gay & bright1 ,! grassy vale :]e do? belong ,_! song4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,i lov$ ! gl[-worm on ! sod2 ,! c\ntless />s1 s ne> to ,god1 ,b mo/ ,i lov$1 9 all ! sky abroad1 ,! %9+ moon ( silv] bright1 ,at night4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,! grass is )]$ 9 its b$2 ,! fl[]s )9 my h&s are dead4 ,w\ld t my we>y feet1 ,jesu6 might tread ,?y ,heav5ly ,fields1 & ,i might be ,) ,!e6 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,my ra9b[ 9 ! ra9-wa%$ skies-- ,horizon :]e my suns arise-- ,my isle 9 f>-(f seas--pe>l ,i mo/ prize-- ,sweet spr+ & butt]flies--,i see ,9 ,!e6 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,9 ,!e ,i h ! spr+s1 ! rills1 ,! mignonette1 ! daffodils1 ,! ,eglant9e1 ! h>ebell on ! hills1 ,! trembl+ popl>1 sigh+ l[ ,& sl[4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,! lovely lake1 ! valley fair ,& lonely 9 ! lamb5t air1 ,! ocean t\*$ ) silv] ev]y:]e-- ,9 ,!e _! treasures1 all comb9$1 ,i f9d4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,i g to *ant1 ) ,angel-?rongs1 ,! homage t to ,!e belongs4 ,soon let me fly away1 to jo9 _! songs6 ,oh1 let me die ( love1 ,i pray1 ,"o day6 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,i he>1 e'en ,i1 ,?y la/ & lea/1 ,! music f ,?y ,heav5ly ,fea/2 ,!re1 deign receive me z ,?y lov+ gue/ ,&1 to my h>p1 let me b s+1 ,my ,k+6 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,unto ! ,sa9ts ,i %all be ne>1 ,to ,m>y1 & ^? once treasur$ "h4 ,life is all pa/1 & dri$ is e te>2 ,to me my home aga9 is giv5-- ,9 ,heav54 ,april #bh1 #ahie4 ,i ,,?ir/ ,,= ,,love ,9 wondr\s ,love1 ,?\ did/ come d[n f ,heav5 ,to immolate ,?yself1 ,o ,*ri/1 = me2 ,s1 9 my turn1 my love to ,!e is giv5-- ,i wi% to suff] & to die = ,!e4 ,?\1 ,"l1 did/ speak ?is tru? b5ign3 ,to die = "o lov$ t5d]ly1 ,( greate/ love on e>? is sign2 ,& n[1 su* love is m9e-- ,su* love = ,!e6 ,d ,?\ abide ) me1 ,o ,pilgrim ble/6 ,beh9d ! hill fa/ s9ks ! dy+ day4 ,help$ by ,?y ,cross1 ,i m\nt ! rocky cre/2 ,oh1 come1 to guide me on my ,heav5w>d ,way4 ,to be l ,!e is my desire2 ,?y ,voice f9ds e*o 9 my s\l4 ,suff]+ ,i crave6 ,?y words ( fire ,lift me above e>?'s mire1 ,& s9's control4 ,*ant+ ,?y victories1 glori\sly sublime1 ,! ,s]aphim--all ,heav5--cry to me1 ,t ev5 ,?\1 to conqu] s9 & crime1 ,^u ?is e>? a suff]] ne$s mu/ be4 ,= me ^u life's dre>y way ,:at scorn1 :at angui%1 ,?\ did/ be>6 ,let me b hide me day by day1 ,be lea/ ( all1 alway1 ,?y lot to %>e4 ,ah1 ,*ri/6 ,?y great example tea*es me ,myself to humble1 hon\rs to despise4 ,a little "o--z ,?\--,i *oose to be1 ,=gett+ self1 s ,i may *>m ,?9e ,eyes4 ,my peace ,i f9d 9 solitude1 ,nor ask ,i m1 de> ,"l1 ?an ?is3 ,be ,?\ my sole beatitude1 ,& ev]--9 ,!e--r5ew$ ,my joy1 my bliss6 ,?\1 ! great ,god ,:om e>? & ,heav5 adore1 ,?\ dwell'/ a prison] = me night & day2 ,& e h\r ,i he> ,?y ,voice implore3 ,i ?ir/--,i ?ir/--,i ?ir/--= love alway6 ,i1 too1 ,?y prison] am ,i2 ,i1 too1 cry ev] unto ,!e ,?9e own div9e & t5d] cry3 ,i ?ir/6 ,oh1 let me die ,( love = ,!e4 ,= love ( ,!e ,i ?ir/6 fulfil my hope2 ,augm5t 9 me ,?9e own cele/ial flame6 ,= love ( ,!e ,i ?ir/6 too scant e>?'s scope3 ,! glori\s ,vision ( ,?y ,face ,i claim6 ,my long1 sl[ m>tyrdom ( fire ,/ill m & m consume? me4 ,?\ art my joy1 my "o desire1 ,jesu6 may ,i expire ,( love = ,!e4 ,april #cj1 #ahif4 ,,to ,,scatt] ,,fl[]s ,o ,jesus6 ,o my ,love6 ea* eve ,i come to fl+ ,my spr+tide roses sweet be=e ,?y ,cross div9e2 ,by _! pluck$ petals fair1 my h&s s gladly br+1 ,i long to dry ,?9e e te>6 ,to scatt] fl[]s6--t means ea* sacrifice3 ,my lighte/ sighs & pa9s1 my heavie/1 sadde/ h\rs1 ,my hopes1 my joys1 my pray]s--,i w n c\nt ! price-- ,behold my fl[]s6 ,) deep untold delight ,?y beauty fills my s\l1 ,w\ld ,i might light ?is love 9 he>ts ( all :o live6 ,= ?is1 my faire/ fl[]s1 all ?+s 9 my control1 ,h[ fondly1 gladly w\ld ,i give6 ,to scatt] fl[]s6--behold my *os5 sword ,= sav+ s9n]s' s\ls & fill+ ,heav5's b[]s3 ,! victory is m9e--yea1 ,i dis>m ,!e1 ,"l1 ,) ^! my fl[]s6 ,! petals 9 _! flight c>ess ,?y ,holy ,face2 ,!y tell ,!e t my he>t is ,?9e1 & ,?9e alone4 ,?\ kn[e/ :at ^! leaves are say+ 9 my place3 ,on me ,?\ smile/ f ,?y ,?rone4 ,to scatt] fl[]s6--t means1 to speak ( ,!e-- ,my only pleasure "h1 :]e te>s fill all ! h\rs2 ,b soon1 ) ,angel ,ho/s1 my _s %all be free ,to scatt] fl[]s4 ,june #bh1 #ahif4 ,,:y ,i ,,love ,,!e1 ,,m>y6 ,la/ ,poem writt5 by ,soeur ,?rse ,conclud+ ,/anzas ,h5ce=? ?y %elt] 9 ?y woe 0 ,john's mo/ humble dwell+2 ,! son ( ,zeb$ee replac$ ! ,son ,:om ,heav5 ador$4 ,naught else ! ,gospels tell u ( ?y life1 9 grace excell+2 ,x is ! la/ !y say ( !e1 sweet ,"m ( my ,"l6 ,b oh6 ,i ?9k t sil5ce means t1 high 9 ,heav5's ,glory1 ,:5 "t is pa/1 & to _! ,h\se ?y *ildr5 safe are come1 ,! ,et]nal ,^w1 my ,"m de>1 ,himself w tell ?y /ory1 ,to *>m our s\ls--?y *ildr5's s\ls--9 our ,et]nal ,home4 ,soon ,i %all he> t h>mony1 t blissful1 wondr\s s++2 ,soon1 unto ,heav5 t waits = u1 my s\l %all swiftly fly4 ,o ?\ :o cam'/ to smile on me at dawn ( life's beg9n+6 ,come once aga9 to smile on me 4 4 4 ,"m6 ! night is nigh4 ,i fe> no m ?y maje/y1 s f> remov$ above me1 ,= ,i h suff]$ sore ) !e3 n[ he> me1 ,"m mild6 ,oh1 let me tell !e face to face1 de> ,m>y6 h[ ,i love !e2 ,& say to !e = ev]more3 ,i am ,?y little *ild4 ,may #ahig4 ,,note4--,! above poems are repr9t$ f ! translation ( ! ,little ,fl[]'s poems made by ,susan ,l4 ,em]y1 ( ,dor*e/]1 ,mass41 ,u4,s4,a41 & publi%$ by ! ,c>mel ( ,bo/on4 ,ed4