,transcribed from the #aiai ,mills and  
,boon edition by ,david ,price1 email   
ccx#jgd;coventry4ac4uk            ,,the 
,,human ,,drift  by ,jack ,london       
,contents3    ,the ,human ,drift        
,small-,boat ,sailing  ,four ,horses and
 a ,sailor  ,nothing that ,ever ,came to
 ,anything  ,that ,dead ,men ,rise up   
,never  ,a ,classic of the ,sea      ,a 
,wicked ,woman 7,curtain ,raiser7       
,the ,birth ,mark 7,sketch7             
,,the ,,human ,,drift         ,the      
,revelations of ,devout and ,learn'd    
,who rose before us1 and as ,prophets   
,burn'd1        ,are all but stories1   
which1 awoke from ,sleep1     ,they told
 their comrades1 and to ,sleep return'd4
    ,the history of civilisation is a   
history of wandering1 sword in hand1 in 
search of food4  ,in the misty younger  
world we catch glimpses of phantom      
races1 rising1 slaying1 finding food1   
building rude civilisations1  decaying1 
falling under the swords of stronger    
hands1 and passing utterly  away4  ,man1

 like any other animal1 has roved over  
the earth seeking what  he might devour2
 and not romance and adventure1 but the 
hunger-need1 has  urged him on his vast 
adventures4  ,whether a bankrupt        
gentleman sailing  to colonise ,virginia
 or a lean ,cantonese contracting to    
labour on the  sugar plantations of     
,hawaii1 in each case1 gentleman and    
coolie1 it is a  desperate attempt to   
get something to eat1 to get more to eat
 than he can  get at home4    ,it has   
always been so1 from the time of the    
first pre-human anthropoid  crossing a  
mountain-divide in quest of better      
berry-bushes beyond1 down  to the latest
 ,slovak1 arriving on our shores to-day1
 to go to work in the  coal-mines of    
,pennsylvania4  ,these migratory        
movements of peoples have  been called  
drifts1 and the word is apposite4       
,unplanned1 blind1  automatic1 spurred  
on by the pain of hunger1 man has       
literally drifted  his way around the   
planet4  ,there have been drifts in the 

past1  innumerable and forgotten1 and so
 remote that no records have been left1 
or composed of such low-typed humans or 
pre-humans that they made no            
scratchings on stone or bone and left no
 monuments to show that they had  been4 
,these early drifts we conjecture and   
know must have occurred1 just as we     
know that the first upright-walking     
brutes were descended from some kin  of 
the quadrumana through having developed 
a pair of great toes out of  two        
opposable thumbs4  ,dominated by fear1  
and by their very fear  accelerating    
their development1 these early ancestors
 of ours1 suffering  hunger-pangs very  
like the ones we experience to-day1     
drifted on1 hunting  and being hunted1  
eating and being eaten1 wandering       
through thousand-year-  long odysseys of
 screaming primordial savagery1 until   
they left their  skeletons in glacial   
gravels1 some of them1 and their        
bone-scratchings in  cave-men's lairs4  
,there have been drifts from east to    

west and west to east1 from north to    
south and back again1 drifts that have  
criss-crossed one another1 and  drifts  
colliding and recoiling and caroming off
 in new directions4  ,from  ,central    
,europe the ,aryans have drifted into   
,asia1 and from ,central ,asia  the     
,turanians have drifted across ,europe4 
,asia has thrown forth great  waves of  
hungry humans from the prehistoric      
round-barrow broad-heads  who overran   
,europe and penetrated to ,scandinavia  
and ,england1 down  through the hordes  
of ,attila and ,tamerlane1 to the       
present immigration of  ,chinese and    
,japanese that threatens ,america4  ,the
 ,phoenicians and the  ,greeks1 with    
unremembered drifts behind them1        
colonised the  ,mediterranean4  ,rome   
was engulfed in the torrent of ,germanic
 tribes  drifting down from the north   
before a flood of drifting ,asiatics4   
,the  ,angles1 ,saxons1 and ,jutes1     
after having drifted whence no man      
knows1  poured into ,britain1 and the   

,english have carried this drift on     
around  the world4  ,retreating before  
stronger breeds1 hungry and voracious1  
the  ,eskimo has drifted to the         
inhospitable polar regions1 the ,pigmy  
to the  fever-rotten jungles of ,africa4
  ,and in this day the drift of the     
races  continues1 whether it be of      
,chinese into the ,philippines and the  
,malay  ,peninsula1 of ,europeans to the
 ,united ,states or of ,americans to the
 wheat-  lands of ,manitoba and the     
,northwest4    ,perhaps most amazing has
 been the ,south ,sea ,drift4  ,blind1  
fortuitous1  precarious as no other     
drift has been1 nevertheless the islands
 in that  waste of ocean have received  
drift after drift of the races4  ,down  
from  the mainland of ,asia poured an   
,aryan drift that built civilisations in
  ,ceylon1 ,java1 and ,sumatra4  ,only  
the monuments of these ,aryans remain4  
,they themselves have perished utterly1 
though not until after leaving          
evidences of their drift clear across   

the great ,south ,pacific to far        
,easter ,island4  ,and on that drift    
they encountered races who had          
accomplished the drift before them1 and 
they1 the ,aryans1 passed1 in  turn1    
before the drift of other and subsequent
 races whom we to-day call  the         
,polynesian and the ,melanesian4    ,man
 early discovered death4  ,as soon as   
his evolution permitted1 he made        
himself better devices for killing than 
the old natural ones of fang and  claw4 
,he devoted himself to the invention of 
killing devices before he  discovered   
fire or manufactured for himself        
religion4  ,and to this day1  his finest
 creative energy and technical skill are
 devoted to the same  old task of making
 better and ever better killing weapons4
  ,all his days1  down all the past1    
have been spent in killing4  ,and from  
the  fear-stricken1 jungle-lurking1     
cave-haunting creature of long ago1 he  
won  to empery over the whole animal    
world because he developed into the most

  terrible and awful killer of all the  
animals4  ,he found himself crowded4    
,he killed to make room1 and as he made 
room ever he increased and found        
himself crowded1 and ever he went on    
killing to make more room4  ,like a     
settler clearing land of its weeds and  
forest bushes in order to plant  corn1  
so man was compelled to clear all manner
 of life away in order to  plant        
himself4  ,and1 sword in hand1 he has   
literally hewn his way through  the vast
 masses of life that occupied the earth 
space he coveted for  himself4  ,and    
ever he has carried the battle wider and
 wider1 until to-  day not only is he a 
far more capable killer of men and      
animals than ever  before1 but he has   
pressed the battle home to the infinite 
and invisible  hosts of menacing lives  
in the world of micro-organisms4    ,it 
is true1 that they that rose by the     
sword perished by the sword4  ,and  yet1
 not only did they not all perish1 but  
more rose by the sword than  perished by

 it1 else man would not to-day be       
over-running the world in  such huge    
swarms4  ,also1 it must not be forgotten
 that they who did not  rise by the     
sword did not rise at all4  ,they were  
not4  ,in view of this1  there is       
something wrong with ,doctor ,jordan's  
war-theory1 which is to the  effect that
 the best being sent out to war1 only   
the second best1 the men  who are left1 
remain to breed a second-best race1 and 
that1 therefore1  the human race        
deteriorates under war4  ,if this be so1
 if we have sent  forth the best we bred
 and gone on breeding from the men who  
were left1  and since we have done this 
for ten thousand millenniums and are    
what we  splendidly are to-day1 then    
what unthinkably splendid and god-like  
beings  must have been our forebears    
those ten thousand millenniums ago6     
,unfortunately for ,doctor ,jordan's    
theory1 those ancient forebears cannot  
live up to this fine reputation4  ,we   
know them for what they were1 and       

before the monkey cage of any menagerie 
we catch truer glimpses and hints  and  
resemblances of what our ancestors      
really were long and long ago4  ,and  by
 killing1 incessant killing1 by making a
 shambles of the planet1 those  ape-like
 creatures have developed even into you 
and me4  ,as ,henley has  said in ,the  
,song of the ,sword3       ,the ,sword  
,singing--       ,driving the darkness1 
,even as the banners     ,and spear of  
the ,morning2     ,sifting the nations1 
,the ,slag from the metal1     ,the     
waste and the weak     ,from the fit and
 the strong2     ,fighting the brute1   
,the abysmal ,fecundity2     ,checking  
the gross     ,multitudinous blunders1  
,the groping1 the purblind     ,excesses
 in service     ,of the ,womb universal1
     ,the absolute drudge4    ,as time  
passed and man increased1 he drifted    
ever farther afield in  search of room4 
,he encountered other drifts of men1 and
 the killing of  men became prodigious4 
,the weak and the decadent fell under   

the sword4  ,nations that faltered1 that
 waxed prosperous in fat valleys and    
rich  river deltas1 were swept away by  
the drifts of stronger men who were     
nourished on the hardships of deserts   
and mountains and who were more  capable
 with the sword4  ,unknown and          
unnumbered billions of men have been  so
 destroyed in prehistoric times4        
,draper says that in the twenty years   
of the ,gothic war1 ,italy lost         
#ae1jjj1jjj of her population2 and that 
the  wars1 famines1 and pestilences of  
the reign of ,justinian diminished the  
human species by the almost incredible  
number of #ajj1jjj1jjj4  ,germany1  in  
the ,thirty ,years' ,war1 lost          
#f1jjj1jjj inhabitants4  ,the record of 
our  own ,american ,civil ,war need     
scarcely be recalled4    ,and man has   
been destroyed in other ways than by the
 sword4  ,flood1  famine1 pestilence and
 murder are potent factors in reducing  
population--in making room4  ,as ,mr4   
,charles ,woodruff1 in his ,expansion   

of ,races1 has instanced3 ,in #ahhf1    
when the dikes of the ,yellow ,river    
burst1 #g1jjj1jjj people were drowned4  
,the failure of crops in ,ireland1  in  
#ahdh1 caused #a1jjj1jjj deaths4  ,the  
famines in ,india of #ahif-g and        
#ahii-aijj lessened the population by   
#ba1jjj1jjj4  ,the ,t'ai'ping rebellion 
and the ,mohammedan rebellion1 combined 
with the famine of #ahgg-gh1  destroyed 
scores of millions of ,chinese4  ,europe
 has been swept  repeatedly by great    
plagues4  ,in ,india1 for the period of 
#aijc to #aijg1  the plague deaths      
averaged between one and two millions a 
year4  ,mr4  ,woodruff is responsible   
for the assertion that #aj1jjj1jjj      
persons now  living in the ,united      
,states are doomed to die of            
tuberculosis4  ,and in  this same       
country ten thousand persons a year are 
directly murdered4  ,in  ,china1 between
 three and six millions of infants are  
annually destroyed1  while the total    
infanticide record of the whole world is

 appalling4  ,in  ,africa1 now1 human   
beings are dying by millions of the     
sleeping sickness4    ,more destructive 
of life than war1 is industry4  ,in all 
civilised  countries great masses of    
people are crowded into slums and       
labour-ghettos1 where disease festers1  
vice corrodes1 and famine is  chronic1  
and where they die more swiftly and in  
greater numbers than do  the soldiers in
 our modern wars4  ,the very infant     
mortality of a slum  parish in the ,east
 ,end of ,london is three times that of 
a middle-class  parish in the ,west     
,end4  ,in the ,united ,states1 in the  
last fourteen  years1 a total of        
coal-miners1 greater than our entire    
standing army1 has  been killed and     
injured4  ,the ,united ,states ,bureau  
of ,labour states that  during the year 
#aijh1 there were between #cj1jjj and   
#ce1jjj deaths of  workers by accidents1
 while #bjj1jjj more were injured4  ,in 
fact1 the  safest place for a           
working-man is in the army4  ,and even  

if that army be  at the front1 fighting 
in ,cuba or ,south ,africa1 the soldier 
in the ranks  has a better chance for   
life than the working-man at home4      
,and yet1 despite this terrible roll of 
death1 despite the enormous  killing of 
the past and the enormous killing of the
 present1 there are to-  day alive on   
the planet a billion and three quarters 
of human beings4  ,our  immediate       
conclusion is that man is exceedingly   
fecund and very tough4  ,never before   
have there been so many people in the   
world4  ,in the past  centuries the     
world's population has been smaller2 in 
the future  centuries it is destined to 
be larger4  ,and this brings us to that 
old  bugbear that has been so frequently
 laughed away and that still persists   
in raising its grisly head--namely1 the 
doctrine of ,malthus4  ,while man's     
increasing efficiency of                
food-production1 combined with          
colonisation of  whole virgin           
continents1 has for generations given   

the apparent lie to  ,malthus'          
mathematical statement of the ,law of   
,population1 nevertheless  the essential
 significance of his doctrine remains   
and cannot be  challenged4  ,population 
does press against subsistence4  ,and no
 matter  how rapidly subsistence        
increases1 population is certain to     
catch up with  it4    ,when man was in  
the hunting stage of development1 wide  
areas were  necessary for the           
maintenance of scant populations4  ,with
 the shepherd  stages1 the means of     
subsistence being increased1 a larger   
population was  supported on the same   
territory4  ,the agricultural stage gave
 support to  a still larger population2 
and1 to-day1 with the increased         
food-getting  efficiency of a machine   
civilisation1 an even larger population 
is made  possible4  ,nor is this        
theoretical4  ,the population is here1 a
 billion  and three quarters of men1    
women1 and children1 and this vast      
population  is increasing on itself by  

leaps and bounds4    ,a heavy ,european 
drift to the ,new ,world has gone on and
 is going on2 yet  ,europe1 whose       
population a century ago was            
#agj1jjj1jjj1 has to-day  #ejj1jjj1jjj4 
,at this rate of increase1 provided that
 subsistence is not  overtaken1 a       
century from now the population of      
,europe will be  #a1ejj1jjj1jjj4  ,and  
be it noted of the present rate of      
increase in the  ,united ,states that   
only one-third is due to immigration1   
while two-thirds  is due to excess of   
births over deaths4  ,and at this       
present rate of  increase1 the          
population of the ,united ,states will  
be #ejj1jjj1jjj in less  than a century 
from now4    ,man1 the hungry one1 the  
killer1 has always suffered for lack of 
room4  ,the world has been chronically  
overcrowded4  ,belgium with her #egb    
persons  to the square mile is no more  
crowded than was ,denmark when it       
supported  only #ejj palaeolithic       
people4  ,according to ,mr4 ,woodruff1  

cultivated land  will produce #afjj     
times as much food as hunting land4     
,from the time of  the ,norman          
,conquest1 for centuries ,europe could  
support no more than #be  to the square 
mile4  ,to-day ,europe supports #ha to  
the square mile4  ,the  explanation of  
this is that for the several centuries  
after the ,norman  ,conquest her        
population was saturated4  ,then1 with  
the development of  trading and         
capitalism1 of exploration and          
exploitation of new lands1 and  with the
 invention of labour-saving machinery   
and the discovery and  application of   
scientific principles1 was brought about
 a tremendous  increase in ,europe's    
food-getting efficiency4  ,and          
immediately her  population sprang up4  
,according to the census of ,ireland1 of
 #afei1 that country had a  population  
of #ejj1jjj4  ,one hundred and fifty    
years later1 her population  was        
#h1jjj1jjj4  ,for many centuries the    
population of ,japan was  stationary4   

,there seemed no way of increasing her  
food-getting  efficiency4  ,then1 sixty 
years ago1 came ,commodore ,perry1      
knocking down  her doors and letting in 
the knowledge and machinery of the      
superior food-  getting efficiency of   
the ,western world4  ,immediately upon  
this rise in  subsistence began the rise
 of population2 and it is only the other
 day  that ,japan1 finding her          
population once again pressing against  
subsistence1 embarked1 sword in hand1 on
 a westward drift in search of  more    
room4  ,and1 sword in hand1 killing and 
being killed1 she has carved  out for   
herself ,formosa and ,korea1 and driven 
the vanguard of her drift  far into the 
rich interior of ,manchuria4    ,for an 
immense period of time ,china's         
population has remained at              
#djj1jjj1jjj--the saturation point4     
,the only reason that the ,yellow ,river
  periodically drowns millions of       
,chinese is that there is no other land 
for those millions to farm4  ,and after 

every such catastrophe the wave of      
human life rolls up and now millions    
flood out upon that precarious          
territory4  ,they are driven to it1     
because they are pressed remorselessly  
against subsistence4  ,it is inevitable 
that ,china1 sooner or later1 like      
,japan1 will learn and put into         
application our own superior            
food-getting  efficiency4  ,and when    
that time comes1 it is likewise         
inevitable that her  population will    
increase by unguessed millions until it 
again reaches the  saturation point4    
,and then1 inoculated with ,western     
ideas1 may she not1  like ,japan1 take  
sword in hand and start forth colossally
 on a drift of  her own for more room8  
,this is another reputed bogie--the     
,yellow ,peril2  yet the men of ,china  
are only men1 like any other race of    
men1 and all  men1 down all history1    
have drifted hungrily1 here1 there and  
everywhere  over the planet1 seeking for
 something to eat4  ,what other men do1 

may  not the ,chinese do8    ,but a     
change has long been coming in the      
affairs of man4  ,the more recent       
drifts of the stronger races1 carving   
their way through the lesser breeds  to 
more earth-space1 has led to peace1 ever
 to wider and more lasting  peace4  ,the
 lesser breeds1 under penalty of being  
killed1 have been  compelled to lay down
 their weapons and cease killing among  
themselves4  ,the scalp-talking ,indian 
and the head-hunting ,melanesian have   
been either  destroyed or converted to a
 belief in the superior efficacy of     
civil  suits and criminal prosecutions4 
,the planet is being subdued4  ,the wild
  and the hurtful are either tamed or   
eliminated4  ,from the beasts of prey   
and the cannibal humans down to the     
death-dealing microbes1 no quarter is   
given2 and daily1 wider and wider areas 
of hostile territory1 whether of  a     
warring desert-tribe in ,africa or a    
pestilential fever-hole like  ,panama1  
are made peaceable and habitable for    

mankind4  ,as for the great  mass of    
stay-at-home folk1 what percentage of   
the present generation in  the ,united  
,states1 ,england1 or ,germany1 has seen
 war or knows anything of  war at first 
hand8  ,there was never so much peace in
 the world as there  is to-day4    ,war 
itself1 the old red anarch1 is passing4 
,it is safer to be a soldier  than a    
working-man4  ,the chance for life is   
greater in an active campaign  than in a
 factory or a coal-mine4  ,in the matter
 of killing1 war is  growing impotent1  
and this in face of the fact that the   
machinery of war  was never so expensive
 in the past nor so dreadful4           
,war-equipment to-  day1 in time of     
peace1 is more expensive than of old in 
time of war4  ,a  standing army costs   
more to maintain than it used to cost to
 conquer an  empire4  ,it is more       
expensive to be ready to kill1 than it  
used to be to  do the killing4  ,the    
price of a ,dreadnought would furnish   
the whole army  of ,xerxes with killing 

weapons4  ,and1 in spite of its         
magnificent  equipment1 war no longer   
kills as it used to when its methods    
were  simpler4  ,a bombardment by a     
modern fleet has been known to result in
 the  killing of one mule4  ,the        
casualties of a twentieth century war   
between  two world-powers are such as to
 make a worker in an iron-foundry turn  
green with envy4  ,war has become a     
joke4  ,men have made for themselves    
monsters of battle which they cannot    
face in battle4  ,subsistence is        
generous these days1 life is not cheap1 
and it is not in the nature of  flesh   
and blood to indulge in the carnage made
 possible by present-day  machinery4    
,this is not theoretical1 as will be    
shown by a comparison of  deaths in     
battle and men involved1 in the ,south  
,african ,war and the                   
,spanish-,american ,war on the one hand1
 and the ,civil ,war or the ,napoleonic 
,wars on the other4    ,not only has    
war1 by its own evolution1 rendered     

itself futile1 but man  himself1 with   
greater wisdom and higher ethics1 is    
opposed to war4  ,he  has learned too   
much4  ,war is repugnant to his common  
sense4  ,he  conceives it to be wrong1  
to be absurd1 and to be very expensive4 
,for  the damage wrought and the results
 accomplished1 it is not worth the      
price4  ,just as in the disputes of     
individuals the arbitration of a civil  
court instead of a blood feud is more   
practical1 so1 man decides1 is          
arbitration more practical in the       
disputes of nations4    ,war is passing1
 disease is being conquered1 and man's  
food-getting  efficiency is increasing4 
,it is because of these factors that    
there are  a billion and three quarters 
of people alive to-day instead of a     
billion1  or three-quarters of a        
billion4  ,and it is because of these   
factors that  the world's population    
will very soon be two billions and      
climbing  rapidly toward three billions4
  ,the lifetime of the generation is    

increasing steadily4  ,men live longer  
these days4  ,life is not so            
precarious4  ,the newborn infant has a  
greater chance for survival than at  any
 time in the past4  ,surgery and        
sanitation reduce the fatalities that   
accompany the mischances of life and the
 ravages of disease4  ,men and  women1  
with deficiencies and weaknesses that in
 the past would have  effected their    
rapid extinction1 live to-day and father
 and mother a  numerous progeny4  ,and  
high as the food-getting efficiency may 
soar1  population is bound to soar after
 it4  ,the abysmal fecundity of life    
has not altered4  ,given the food1 and  
life will increase4  ,a small           
percentage of the billion and           
three-quarters that live to-day may hush
  the clamour of life to be born1 but it
 is only a small percentage4  ,in  this 
particular1 the life in the man-animal  
is very like the life in the  other     
animals4    ,and still another change is
 coming in human affairs4  ,though      

politicians  gnash their teeth and cry  
anathema1 and man1 whose superficial    
book-learning is vitiated by            
crystallised prejudice1 assures us that 
civilisation will go to smash1 the trend
 of society1 to-day1 the world  over1 is
 toward socialism4  ,the old            
individualism is passing4  ,the state   
interferes more and more in affairs that
 hitherto have been considered  sacredly
 private4  ,and socialism1 when the last
 word is said1 is merely a  new economic
 and political system whereby more men  
can get food to eat4  ,in short1        
socialism is an improved food-getting   
efficiency4    ,furthermore1 not only   
will socialism get food more easily and 
in greater  quantity1 but it will       
achieve a more equitable distribution of
 that food4  ,socialism promises1 for a 
time1 to give all men1 women1 and       
children all  they want to eat1 and to  
enable them to eat all they want as     
often as  they want4  ,subsistence will 
be pushed back1 temporarily1 an         

exceedingly  long way4  ,in consequence1
 the flood of life will rise like a     
tidal wave4  ,there will be more        
marriages and more children born4  ,the 
enforced  sterility that obtains to-day 
for many millions1 will no longer       
obtain4  ,nor will the fecund millions  
in the slums and labour-ghettos1 who    
to-day  die of all the ills due to      
chronic underfeeding and overcrowding1  
and who  die with their fecundity       
largely unrealised1 die in that future  
day when  the increased food-getting    
efficiency of socialism will give them  
all  they want to eat4    ,it is        
undeniable that population will increase
 prodigiously-just as it  has increased 
prodigiously during the last few        
centuries1 following upon  the increase 
in food-getting efficiency4  ,the       
magnitude of population in  that future 
day is well nigh unthinkable4  ,but     
there is only so much land  and water on
 the surface of the earth4  ,man1       
despite his marvellous  accomplishments1

 will never be able to increase the     
diameter of the  planet4  ,the old days 
of virgin continents will be gone4  ,the
 habitable  planet1 from ice-cap to     
ice-cap1 will be inhabited4  ,and in the
 matter of  food-getting1 as in         
everything else1 man is only finite4    
,undreamed-of  efficiencies in          
food-getting may be achieved1 but1 soon 
or late1 man will  find himself face to 
face with ,malthus' grim law4  ,not only
 will  population catch up with         
subsistence1 but it will press against  
subsistence1 and the pressure will be   
pitiless and savage4  ,somewhere in  the
 future is a date when man will face1   
consciously1 the bitter fact  that there
 is not food enough for all of him to   
eat4    ,when this day comes1 what then8
  ,will there be a recrudescence of old 
obsolete war8  ,in a saturated          
population life is always cheap1 as it  
is  cheap in ,china1 in ,india1 to-day4 
,will new human drifts take place1      
questing for room1 carving earth-space  

out of crowded life4  ,will the  ,sword 
again sing3       ,follow1 ,o follow1   
then1     ,heroes1 my harvesters6       
,where the tall grain is ripe           
,thrust in your sickles6     ,stripped  
and adust     ,in a stubble of empire   
,scything and binding     ,the full     
sheaves of sovereignty4    ,even if1 as 
of old1 man should wander hungrily1     
sword in hand1 slaying  and being slain1
 the relief would be only temporary4    
,even if one race  alone should hew down
 the last survivor of all the other     
races1 that one  race1 drifting the     
world around1 would saturate the planet 
with its own  life and again press      
against subsistence4  ,and in that day1 
the death  rate and the birth rate will 
have to balance4  ,men will have to die1
 or  be prevented from being born4      
,undoubtedly a higher quality of life   
will  obtain1 and also a slowly         
decreasing fecundity4  ,but this        
decrease will  be so slow that the      
pressure against subsistence will       

remain4  ,the  control of progeny will  
be one of the most important problems of
 man and  one of the most important     
functions of the state4  ,men will      
simply be not  permitted to be born4    
,disease1 from time to time1 will ease  
the pressure4  ,diseases are  parasites1
 and it must not be forgotten that just 
as there are drifts in  the world of    
man1 so are there drifts in the world of
 micro-organisms--  hunger-quests for   
food4  ,little is known of the          
micro-organic world1  but that little is
 appalling2 and no census of it will    
ever be taken1  for there is the true1  
literal abysmal fecundity4              
,multitudinous as  man is1 all his      
totality of individuals is as nothing in
 comparison  with the inconceivable     
vastness of numbers of the              
micro-organisms4  ,in  your body1 or in 
mine1 right now1 are swarming more      
individual entities  than there are     
human beings in the world to-day4  ,it  
is to us an  invisible world4  ,we only 

guess its nearest confines4  ,with our  
powerful  microscopes and               
ultramicroscopes1 enlarging diameters   
twenty  thousand times1 we catch but the
 slightest glimpses of that profundity  
of  infinitesimal life4    ,little is   
known of that world1 save in a general  
way4  ,we know that out  of it arise    
diseases1 new to us1 that afflict and   
destroy man4  ,we do not  know whether  
these diseases are merely the drifts1 in
 a fresh direction1  of already-existing
 breeds of micro-organisms1 or whether  
they are new1  absolutely new1 breeds   
themselves just spontaneously generated4
  ,the  latter hypothesis is tenable1   
for we theorise that if spontaneous     
generation still occurs on the earth1 it
 is far more likely to occur in  the    
form of simple organisms than of        
complicated organisms4    ,another thing
 we know1 and that is that it is in     
crowded populations that  new diseases  
arise4  ,they have done so in the past4 
,they do so to-day4  ,and no matter how 

wise are our physicians and             
bacteriologists1 no matter  how         
successfully they cope with these       
invaders1 new invaders continue to      
arise--new drifts of hungry life seeking
 to devour us4  ,and so we are          
justified in believing that in the      
saturated populations of the future1    
when life is suffocating in the pressure
 against subsistence1 that new1  and    
ever new1 hosts of destroying           
micro-organisms will continue to arise  
and fling themselves upon earth-crowded 
man to give him room4  ,there may  even 
be plagues of unprecedented ferocity    
that will depopulate great  areas before
 the wit of man can overcome them4  ,and
 this we know3 that no  matter how often
 these invisible hosts may be overcome  
by man's becoming  immune to them       
through a cruel and terrible selection1 
new hosts will  ever arise of these     
micro-organisms that were in the world  
before he came  and that will be here   
after he is gone4    ,after he is gone8 

,will he then some day be gone1 and this
 planet know  him no more8  ,is it      
thither that the human drift in all its 
totality is  trending8  ,god ,himself is
 silent on this point1 though some of   
,his  prophets have given us vivid      
representations of that last day when   
the  earth shall pass into nothingness4 
,nor does science1 despite its radium   
speculations and its attempted analyses 
of the ultimate nature of matter1  give 
us any other word than that man will    
pass4  ,so far as man's  knowledge goes1
 law is universal4  ,elements react     
under certain  unchangeable conditions4 
,one of these conditions is temperature4
  ,whether  it be in the test tube of   
the laboratory or the workshop of       
nature1 all  organic chemical reactions 
take place only within a restricted     
range of  heat4  ,man1 the latest of the
 ephemera1 is pitifully a creature of   
temperature1 strutting his brief day on 
the thermometer4  ,behind him is a  past
 wherein it was too warm for him to     

exist4  ,ahead of him is a future       
wherein it will be too cold for him to  
exist4  ,he cannot adjust himself  to   
that future1 because he cannot alter    
universal law1 because he cannot  alter 
his own construction nor the molecules  
that compose him4    ,it would be well  
to ponder these lines of ,herbert       
,spencer's which follow1  and which     
embody1 possibly1 the wildest vision the
 scientific mind has  ever achieved3    
,motion as well as ,matter being fixed  
in quantity1 it would seem that     the 
change in the distribution of ,matter   
which ,motion effects1 coming     to a  
limit in whichever direction it is      
carried1 the indestructible     ,motion 
thereupon necessitates a reverse        
distribution4  ,apparently1 the         
universally-co-existent forces of       
attraction and repulsion1 which1 as     
we have seen1 necessitate rhythm in all 
minor changes throughout the            
,universe1 also necessitate rhythm in   
the totality of its     changes--produce

 now an immeasurable period during which
 the     attractive forces              
predominating1 cause universal          
concentration1 and     then an          
immeasurable period during which the    
repulsive forces     predominating1     
cause universal diffusion--alternate    
eras of ,evolution     and ,dissolution4
  ,and thus there is suggested the      
conception of a     past during which   
there have been successive ,evolutions  
analogous to     that which is now going
 on2 a future during which successive   
other     ,evolutions may go on--ever   
the same in principle but never the same
 in     concrete result4    ,that is    
it--the most we know--alternate eras of 
evolution and  dissolution4  ,in the    
past there have been other evolutions   
similar to  that one in which we live1  
and in the future there may be other    
similar  evolutions--that is all4  ,the 
principle of all these evolutions       
remains1  but the concrete results are  
never twice alike4  ,man was not2 he    

was2 and  again he will not be4  ,in    
eternity which is beyond our            
comprehension1 the  particular evolution
 of that solar satellite we call the    
,earth occupied  but a slight fraction  
of time4  ,and of that fraction of time 
man occupies  but a small portion4  ,all
 the whole human drift1 from the first  
ape-man  to the last savant1 is but a   
phantom1 a flash of light and a flutter 
of  movement across the infinite face of
 the starry night4    ,when the         
thermometer drops1 man ceases--with all 
his lusts and wrestlings  and           
achievements2 with all his              
race-adventures and race-tragedies2 and 
with all his red killings1 billions upon
 billions of human lives  multiplied by 
as many billions more4  ,this is the    
last word of ,science1  unless there be 
some further1 unguessed word which      
,science will some day  find and utter4 
,in the meantime it sees no farther than
 the starry void1  where the fleeting   
systems lapse like foam4  ,of what      

ledger-account is  the tiny life of man 
in a vastness where stars snuff out like
 candles and  great suns blaze for a    
time-tick of eternity and are gone8     
,and for us who live1 no worse can      
happen than has happened to the         
earliest drifts of man1 marked to-day by
 ruined cities of forgotten             
civilisation--ruined cities1 which1 on  
excavation1 are found to rest on  ruins 
of earlier cities1 city upon city1 and  
fourteen cities1 down to a  stratum     
where1 still earlier1 wandering herdsmen
 drove their flocks1 and  where1 even   
preceding them1 wild hunters chased     
their prey long after the  cave-man and 
the man of the squatting-place cracked  
the knuckle-bones of  wild animals and  
vanished from the earth4  ,there is     
nothing terrible  about it4  ,with      
,richard ,hovey1 when he faced his      
death1 we can say3  ,behold6  ,i have   
lived6  ,and with another and greater   
one1 we can lay  ourselves down with a  
will4  ,the one drop of living1 the one 

taste of  being1 has been good2 and     
perhaps our greatest achievement will be
 that  we dreamed immortality1 even     
though we failed to realise it4         
,,small-,,boat ,,sailing      ,a sailor 
is born1 not made4  ,and by sailor is   
meant1 not the average  efficient and   
hopeless creature who is found to-day in
 the forecastle of  deepwater ships1 but
 the man who will take a fabric         
compounded of wood  and iron and rope   
and canvas and compel it to obey his    
will on the  surface of the sea4        
,barring captains and mates of big      
ships1 the small-  boat sailor is the   
real sailor4  ,he knows--he must        
know--how to make the  wind carry his   
craft from one given point to another   
given point4  ,he  must know about tides
 and rips and eddies1 bar and channel   
markings1 and  day and night signals2 he
 must be wise in weather-lore2 and he   
must be  sympathetically familiar with  
the peculiar qualities of his boat which
  differentiate it from every other boat

 that was ever built and rigged4  ,he   
must know how to gentle her about1 as   
one instance of a myriad1 and to  fill  
her on the other tack without deadening 
her way or allowing her to  fall off too
 far4    ,the deepwater sailor of to-day
 needs know none of these things4  ,and 
he  doesn't4  ,he pulls and hauls as he 
is ordered1 swabs decks1 washes paint1  
and chips iron-rust4  ,he knows nothing1
 and cares less4  ,put him in a  small  
boat and he is helpless4  ,he will cut  
an even better figure on the  hurricane 
deck of a horse4    ,i shall never      
forget my child-astonishment when ,i    
first encountered one  of these strange 
beings4  ,he was a runaway ,english     
sailor4  ,i was a lad  of twelve1 with a
 decked-over1 fourteen-foot1            
centre-board skiff which ,i  had taught 
myself to sail4  ,i sat at his feet as  
at the feet of a god1  while he         
discoursed of strange lands and peoples1
 deeds of violence1 and  hair-raising   
gales at sea4  ,then1 one day1 ,i took  

him for a sail4  ,with  all the         
trepidation of the veriest little       
amateur1 ,i hoisted sail and got  under 
way4  ,here was a man1 looking on       
critically1 ,i was sure1 who knew  more 
in one second about boats and the water 
than ,i could ever know4  ,after an     
interval1 in which ,i exceeded myself1  
he took the tiller and the  sheet4  ,i  
sat on the little thwart amidships1     
open-mouthed1 prepared to  learn what   
real sailing was4  ,my mouth remained   
open1 for ,i learned what  a real sailor
 was in a small boat4  ,he couldn't trim
 the sheet to save  himself1 he nearly  
capsized several times in squalls1 and1 
once again1 by  blunderingly jibing     
over2 he didn't know what a centre-board
 was for1 nor  did he know that in      
running a boat before the wind one must 
sit in the  middle instead of on the    
side2 and finally1 when we came back to 
the  wharf1 he ran the skiff in full    
tilt1 shattering her nose and carrying  
away the mast-step4  ,and yet he was a  

really truly sailor fresh from the      
vasty deep4    ,which points my moral4  
,a man can sail in the forecastles of   
big ships  all his life and never know  
what real sailing is4  ,from the time ,i
 was  twelve1 ,i listened to the lure of
 the sea4  ,when ,i was fifteen ,i was  
captain and owner of an oyster-pirate   
sloop4  ,by the time ,i was sixteen ,i  
was sailing in scow-schooners1 fishing  
salmon with the ,greeks up the          
,sacramento ,river1 and serving as      
sailor on the ,fish ,patrol4  ,and ,i   
was a  good sailor1 too1 though all my  
cruising had been on ,san ,francisco    
,bay  and the rivers tributary to it4   
,i had never been on the ocean in my    
life4    ,then1 the month ,i was        
seventeen1 ,i signed before the mast as 
an able  seaman on a three-top-mast     
schooner bound on a seven-months' cruise
  across the ,pacific and back again4   
,as my shipmates promptly informed me1  
,i had had my nerve with me to sign on  
as able seaman4  ,yet behold1 ,i  was an

 able seaman4  ,i had graduated from the
 right school4  ,it took no  more than  
minutes to learn the names and uses of  
the few new ropes4  ,it  was simple4  ,i
 did not do things blindly4  ,as a      
small-boat sailor ,i had  learned to    
reason out and know the why of          
everything4  ,it is true1 ,i  had to    
learn how to steer by compass1 which    
took maybe half a minute2 but  when it  
came to steering full-and-by and        
close-and-by1 ,i could beat  the average
 of my shipmates1 because that was the  
very way ,i had always  sailed4  ,inside
 fifteen minutes ,i could box the       
compass around and back  again4  ,and   
there was little else to learn during   
that seven-months'  cruise1 except fancy
 rope-sailorising1 such as the more     
complicated  lanyard knots and the      
making of various kinds of sennit and   
rope-mats4  ,the point of all of which  
is that it is by means of small-boat    
sailing  that the real sailor is best   
schooled4    ,and if a man is a born    

sailor1 and has gone to the school of   
the sea1  never in all his life can he  
get away from the sea again4  ,the salt 
of it  is in his bones as well as his   
nostrils1 and the sea will call to him  
until he dies4  ,of late years1 ,i have 
found easier ways of earning a  living4 
,i have quit the forecastle for keeps1  
but always ,i come back to  the sea4    
,in my case it is usually ,san          
,francisco ,bay1 than which no  lustier1
 tougher1 sheet of water can be found   
for small-boat sailing4    ,it really   
blows on ,san ,francisco ,bay4  ,during 
the winter1 which is the  best cruising 
season1 we have southeasters1           
southwesters1 and occasional  howling   
northers4  ,throughout the summer we    
have what we call the sea-  breeze1 an  
unfailing wind off the ,pacific that on 
most afternoons in the  week blows what 
the ,atlantic ,coast yachtsmen would    
name a gale4  ,they are  always         
surprised by the small spread of canvas 
our yachts carry4  ,some of  them1 with 

schooners they have sailed around the   
,horn1 have looked  proudly at their own
 lofty sticks and huge spreads1 then    
patronisingly  and even pityingly at    
ours4  ,then1 perchance1 they have      
joined in a club  cruise from ,san      
,francisco to ,mare ,island4  ,they     
found the morning run up  the ,bay      
delightful4  ,in the afternoon1 when the
 brave west wind ramped  across ,san    
,pablo ,bay and they faced it on the    
long beat home1 things were  somewhat   
different4  ,one by one1 like a flight  
of swallows1 our more  meagrely sparred 
and canvassed yachts went by1 leaving   
them wallowing and  dead and shortening 
down in what they called a gale but     
which we called a  dandy sailing breeze4
  ,the next time they came out1 we would
 notice their  sticks cut down1 their   
booms shortened1 and their after-leeches
 nearer  the luffs by whole cloths4     
,as for excitement1 there is all the    
difference in the world between a  ship 
in trouble at sea1 and a small boat in  

trouble on land-locked water4  ,yet for 
genuine excitement and thrill1 give me  
the small boat4  ,things  happen so     
quickly1 and there are always so few to 
do the work--and hard  work1 too1 as the
 small-boat sailor knows4  ,i have      
toiled all night1 both  watches on deck1
 in a typhoon off the coast of ,japan1  
and been less  exhausted than by two    
hours' work at reefing down a           
thirty-foot sloop and  heaving up two   
anchors on a lee shore in a screaming   
southeaster4    ,hard work and          
excitement8  ,let the wind baffle and   
drop in a heavy tide-  way just as you  
are sailing your little sloop through a 
narrow  draw-bridge4  ,behold your      
sails1 upon which you are depending1    
flap with  sudden emptiness1 and then   
see the impish wind1 with a haul of     
eight  points1 fill your jib aback with 
a gusty puff4  ,around she goes1 and    
sweeps1 not through the open draw1 but  
broadside on against the solid  piles4  
,hear the roar of the tide1 sucking     

through the trestle4  ,and hear  and see
 your pretty1 fresh-painted boat crash  
against the piles4  ,feel  her stout    
little hull give to the impact4  ,see   
the rail actually pinch  in4  ,hear your
 canvas tearing1 and see the black1     
square-ended timbers  thrusting holes   
through it4  ,smash6  ,there goes your  
topmast stay1 and  the topmast reels    
over drunkenly above you4  ,there is a  
ripping and  crunching4  ,if it         
continues1 your starboard shrouds will  
be torn out4  ,grab a rope--any         
rope--and take a turn around a pile4    
,but the free end  of the rope is too   
short4  ,you can't make it fast1 and you
 hold on and  wildly yell for your one  
companion to get a turn with another and
 longer  rope4  ,hold on6  ,you hold on 
till you are purple in the face1 till it
  seems your arms are dragging out of   
their sockets1 till the blood bursts    
from the ends of your fingers4  ,but you
 hold1 and your partner gets the  longer
 rope and makes it fast4  ,you          

straighten up and look at your hands4   
,they are ruined4  ,you can scarcely    
relax the crooks of the fingers4  ,the  
pain is sickening4  ,but there is no    
time4  ,the skiff1 which is always      
perverse1 is pounding against the       
barnacles on the piles which threaten   
to scrape its gunwale off4  ,it's drop  
the peak6  ,down jib6  ,then you run    
lines1 and pull and haul and heave1 and 
exchange unpleasant remarks with  the   
bridge-tender who is always willing to  
meet you more than half way in  such    
repartee4  ,and finally1 at the end of  
an hour1 with aching back1  sweat-soaked
 shirt1 and slaughtered hands1 you are  
through and swinging  along on the      
placid1 beneficent tide between narrow  
banks where the  cattle stand knee-deep 
and gaze wonderingly at you4            
,excitement6  ,work6  ,can you beat it  
in a calm day on the deep sea8    ,i've 
tried it both ways4  ,i remember        
labouring in a fourteen days' gale  off 
the coast of ,new ,zealand4  ,we were a 

tramp collier1 rusty and  battered1 with
 six thousand tons of coal in our hold4 
,life lines were  stretched fore and    
aft2 and on our weather side1 attached  
to smokestack  guys and rigging1 were   
huge rope-nettings1 hung there for the  
purpose of  breaking the force of the   
seas and so saving our mess-room doors4 
,but  the doors were smashed and the    
mess-rooms washed out just the same4    
,and  yet1 out of it all1 arose but the 
one feeling1 namely1 of monotony4    ,in
 contrast with the foregoing1 about the 
liveliest eight days of my life  were   
spent in a small boat on the west coast 
of ,korea4  ,never mind why ,i  was thus
 voyaging up the ,yellow ,sea during the
 month of ,february in below-  zero     
weather4  ,the point is that ,i was in  
an open boat1 a sampan1 on a  rocky     
coast where there were no light-houses  
and where the tides ran from  thirty to 
sixty feet4  ,my crew were ,japanese    
fishermen4  ,we did not speak  each     
other's language4  ,yet there was       

nothing monotonous about that trip4     
,never shall ,i forget one particular   
cold bitter dawn1 when1 in the thick  of
 driving snow1 we took in sail and      
dropped our small anchor4  ,the wind    
was howling out of the northwest1 and we
 were on a lee shore4  ,ahead and       
astern1 all escape was cut off by rocky 
headlands1 against whose bases  burst   
the unbroken seas4  ,to windward a short
 distance1 seen only between  the       
snow-squalls1 was a low rocky reef4  ,it
 was this that inadequately  protected  
us from the whole ,yellow ,sea that     
thundered in upon us4    ,the ,japanese 
crawled under a communal rice mat and   
went to sleep4  ,i  joined them1 and for
 several hours we dozed fitfully4  ,then
 a sea deluged  us out with icy water1  
and we found several inches of snow on  
top the  mat4  ,the reef to windward was
 disappearing under the rising tide1 and
  moment by moment the seas broke more  
strongly over the rocks4  ,the          
fishermen studied the shore anxiously4  

,so did ,i1 and with a sailor's  eye1   
though ,i could see little chance for a 
swimmer to gain that surf-  hammered    
line of rocks4  ,i made signs toward the
 headlands on either  flank4  ,the      
,japanese shook their heads4  ,i        
indicated that dreadful lee  shore4     
,still they shook their heads and did   
nothing4  ,my conclusion was  that they 
were paralysed by the hopelessness of   
the situation4  ,yet our  extremity     
increased with every minute1 for the    
rising tide was robbing us  of the reef 
that served as buffer4  ,it soon became 
a case of swamping at  our anchor4      
,seas were splashing on board in growing
 volume1 and we baled  constantly4  ,and
 still my fishermen crew eyed the       
surf-battered shore and  did nothing4   
,at last1 after many narrow escapes from
 complete swamping1 the fishermen  got  
into action4  ,all hands tailed on to   
the anchor and hove it up4  ,for'ard1 as
 the boat's head paid off1 we set a     
patch of sail about the  size of a      

flour-sack4  ,and we headed straight for
 shore4  ,i unlaced my  shoes1          
unbottoned my great-coat and coat1 and  
was ready to make a quick  partial strip
 a minute or so before we struck4  ,but 
we didn't strike1  and1 as we rushed in1
 ,i saw the beauty of the situation4    
,before us  opened a narrow channel1    
frilled at its mouth with breaking seas4
  ,yet1  long before1 when ,i had       
scanned the shore closely1 there had    
been no such  channel4  ,i had forgotten
 the thirty-foot tide4  ,and it was for 
this  tide that the ,japanese had so    
precariously waited4  ,we ran the frill 
of  breakers1 curved into a tiny        
sheltered bay where the water was       
scarcely  flawed by the gale1 and landed
 on a beach where the salt sea of the   
last  tide lay frozen in long curving   
lines4  ,and this was one gale of three 
in  the course of those eight days in   
the sampan4  ,would it have been  beaten
 on a ship8  ,i fear me the ship would  
have gone aground on the  outlying reef 

and that its people would have been     
incontinently and  monotonously drowned4
    ,there are enough surprises and     
mishaps in a three-days' cruise in a    
small  boat to supply a great ship on   
the ocean for a full year4  ,i remember1
  once1 taking out on her trial trip a  
little thirty-footer ,i had just        
bought4  ,in six days we had two stiff  
blows1 and1 in addition1 one proper     
southwester and one rip-snorting        
southeaster4  ,the slight intervals     
between these blows were dead calms4    
,also1 in the six days1 we were  aground
 three times4  ,then1 too1 we tied up to
 the bank in the ,sacramento  ,river1   
and1 grounding by an accident on the    
steep slope on a falling  tide1 nearly  
turned a side somersault down the bank4 
,in a stark calm and  heavy tide in the 
,carquinez ,straits1 where anchors skate
 on the channel-  scoured bottom1 we    
were sucked against a big dock and      
smashed and bumped  down a quarter of a 
mile of its length before we could get  

clear4  ,two  hours afterward1 on ,san  
,pablo ,bay1 the wind was piping up and 
we were  reefing down4  ,it is no fun to
 pick up a skiff adrift in a heavy sea  
and  gale4  ,that was our next task1 for
 our skiff1 swamping1 parted both       
towing painters we had bent on4  ,before
 we recovered it we had nearly  killed  
ourselves with exhaustion1 and we       
certainly had strained the sloop  in    
every part from keelson to truck4  ,and 
to cap it all1 coming into our  home    
port1 beating up the narrowest part of  
the ,san ,antonio ,estuary1 we  had a   
shave of inches from collision with a   
big ship in tow of a tug4  ,i  have     
sailed the ocean in far larger craft a  
year at a time1 in which  period        
occurred no such chapter of moving      
incident4    ,after all1 the mishaps are
 almost the best part of small-boat     
sailing4  ,looking back1 they prove to  
be punctuations of joy4  ,at the time   
they try  your mettle and your          
vocabulary1 and may make you so         

pessimistic as to  believe that ,god has
 a grudge against you--but afterward1   
ah1 afterward1  with what pleasure you  
remember them and with what gusto do you
 relate  them to your brother skippers  
in the fellowhood of small-boat sailing6
    ,a narrow1 winding slough2 a half   
tide1 exposing mud surfaced with        
gangrenous slime2 the water itself      
filthy and discoloured by the waste     
from the vats of a near-by tannery2 the 
marsh grass on either side  mottled with
 all the shades of a decaying orchid2 a 
crazy1 ramshackled1  ancient wharf2 and 
at the end of the wharf a small1        
white-painted sloop4  ,nothing romantic 
about it4  ,no hint of adventure4  ,a   
splendid pictorial  argument against the
 alleged joys of small-boat sailing4    
,possibly that  is what ,cloudesley and 
,i thought1 that sombre1 leaden morning 
as we  turned out to cook breakfast and 
wash decks4  ,the latter was my stunt1  
but one look at the dirty water overside
 and another at my fresh-painted  deck1 

deterred me4  ,after breakfast1 we      
started a game of chess4  ,the  tide    
continued to fall1 and we felt the sloop
 begin to list4  ,we played  on until   
the chess men began to fall over4  ,the 
list increased1 and we  went on deck4   
,bow-line and stern-line were drawn     
taut4  ,as we looked the  boat listed   
still farther with an abrupt jerk4  ,the
 lines were now very  taut4    ,as soon 
as her belly touches the bottom she will
 stop1 ,i said4    ,cloudesley sounded  
with a boat-hook along the outside4     
,seven feet of water1 he announced4     
,the bank is almost up and down4  ,the  
first thing that touches will be her    
mast when she turns bottom up4    ,an   
ominous1 minute snapping noise came from
 the stern-line4  ,even as we  looked1  
we saw a strand fray and part4  ,then we
 jumped4  ,scarcely had we  bent another
 line between the stern and the wharf1  
when the original line  parted4  ,as we 
bent another line for'ard1 the original 
one there crackled  and parted4  ,after 

that1 it was an inferno of work and     
excitement4    ,we ran more and more    
lines1 and more and more lines continued
 to part1  and more and more the pretty 
boat went over on her side4  ,we bent   
all our  spare lines2 we unrove sheets  
and halyards2 we used our two-inch      
hawser2  we fastened lines part way up  
the mast1 half way up1 and everywhere   
else4  ,we toiled and sweated and       
enounced our mutual and sincere         
conviction that  ,god's grudge still    
held against us4  ,country yokels came  
down on the  wharf and sniggered at us4 
,when ,cloudesley let a coil of rope    
slip down  the inclined deck into the   
vile slime and fished it out with       
seasick  countenance1 the yokels        
sniggered louder and it was all ,i could
 do to  prevent him from climbing up on 
the wharf and committing murder4    ,by 
the time the sloop's deck was           
perpendicular1 we had unbent the boom-  
lift from below1 made it fast to the    
wharf1 and1 with the other end fast     

nearly to the mast-head1 heaved it taut 
with block and tackle4  ,the lift  was  
of steel wire4  ,we were confident that 
it could stand the strain1 but  we      
doubted the holding-power of the stays  
that held the mast4    ,the tide had two
 more hours to ebb 7and it was the big  
run-out71 which  meant that five hours  
must elapse ere the returning tide would
 give us a  chance to learn whether or  
not the sloop would rise to it and right
  herself4    ,the bank was almost up   
and down1 and at the bottom1 directly   
beneath us1  the fast-ebbing tide left a
 pit of the vilest1 illest-smelling1    
illest-  appearing muck to be seen in   
many a day's ride4  ,said ,cloudesley to
 me  gazing down into it3    ,i love you
 as a brother4  ,i'd fight for you4     
,i'd face roaring lions1  and sudden    
death by field and flood4  ,but just the
 same1 don't you fall  into that4  ,he  
shuddered nauseously4  ,for if you do1  
,i haven't the grit  to pull you out4   
,i simply couldn't4  ,you'd be awful4   

,the best ,i could  do would be to take 
a boat-hook and shove you down out of   
sight4    ,we sat on the upper side-wall
 of the cabin1 dangled our legs down the
 top  of the cabin1 leaned our backs    
against the deck1 and played chess until
  the rising tide and the block and     
tackle on the boom-lift enabled us to   
get her on a respectable keel again4    
,years afterward1 down in the ,south    
,seas1 on the island of ,ysabel1 ,i was 
caught in a similar predicament4  ,in   
order to clean her copper1 ,i had       
careened the ,snark broadside on to the 
beach and outward4  ,when the tide rose1
 she refused to rise4  ,the water  crept
 in through the scuppers1 mounted over  
the rail1 and the level of  the ocean   
slowly crawled up the slant of the deck4
  ,we battened down the  engine-room    
hatch1 and the sea rose to it and over  
it and climbed  perilously near to the  
cabin companion-way and skylight4  ,we  
were all  sick with fever1 but we turned
 out in the blazing tropic sun and      

toiled  madly for several hours4  ,we   
carried our heaviest lines ashore from  
our  mast-heads and heaved with our     
heaviest purchase until everything      
crackled including ourselves4  ,we would
 spell off and lie down like dead  men1 
then get up and heave and crackle again4
  ,and in the end1 our lower  rail five 
feet under water and the wavelets       
lapping the companion-way  combing1 the 
sturdy little craft shivered and shook  
herself and pointed  her masts once more
 to the zenith4    ,there is never lack 
of exercise in small-boat sailing1 and  
the hard work  is not only part of the  
fun of it1 but it beats the doctors4    
,san  ,francisco ,bay is no mill pond4  
,it is a large and draughty and         
variegated  piece of water4  ,i         
remember1 one winter evening1 trying to 
enter the  mouth of the ,sacramento4    
,there was a freshet on the river1 the  
flood  tide from the bay had been beaten
 back into a strong ebb1 and the lusty  
west wind died down with the sun4  ,it  

was just sunset1 and with a fair to     
middling breeze1 dead aft1 we stood     
still in the rapid current4  ,we were   
squarely in the mouth of the river2 but 
there was no anchorage and we  drifted  
backward1 faster and faster1 and dropped
 anchor outside as the  last breath of  
wind left us4  ,the night came on1      
beautiful and warm and  starry4  ,my one
 companion cooked supper1 while on deck 
,i put everything  in shape ,bristol    
fashion4  ,when we turned in at nine    
o'clock the weather-  promise was       
excellent4  7,if ,i had carried a       
barometer ,i'd have known  better47  ,by
 two in the morning our shrouds were    
thrumming in a piping  breeze1 and ,i   
got up and gave her more scope on her   
hawser4  ,inside  another hour there was
 no doubt that we were in for a         
southeaster4    ,it is not nice to leave
 a warm bed and get out of a bad        
anchorage in a  black blowy night1 but  
we arose to the occasion1 put in two    
reefs1 and  started to heave up4  ,the  

winch was old1 and the strain of the    
jumping  head sea was too much for it4  
,with the winch out of commission1 it   
was  impossible to heave up by hand4    
,we knew1 because we tried it and       
slaughtered our hands4  ,now a sailor   
hates to lose an anchor4  ,it is a      
matter of pride4  ,of course1 we could  
have buoyed ours and slipped it4        
,instead1 however1 ,i gave her still    
more hawser1 veered her1 and dropped    
the second anchor4    ,there was little 
sleep after that1 for first one and then
 the other of us  would be rolled out of
 our bunks4  ,the increasing size of the
 seas told  us we were dragging1 and    
when we struck the scoured channel we   
could tell  by the feel of it that our  
two anchors were fairly skating across4 
,it  was a deep channel1 the farther    
edge of it rising steeply like the wall 
of a canyon1 and when our anchors       
started up that wall they hit in and    
held4    ,yet1 when we fetched up1      
through the darkness we could hear the  

seas  breaking on the solid shore       
astern1 and so near was it that we      
shortened  the skiff's painter4         
,daylight showed us that between the    
stern of the skiff and destruction  was 
no more than a score of feet4  ,and how 
it did blow6  ,there were  times1 in the
 gusts1 when the wind must have         
approached a velocity of  seventy or    
eighty miles an hour4  ,but the anchors 
held1 and so nobly that  our final      
anxiety was that the for'ard bitts would
 be jerked clean out of  the boat4  ,all
 day the sloop alternately ducked her   
nose under and sat  down on her stern2  
and it was not till late afternoon that 
the storm  broke in one last and worst  
mad gust4  ,for a full five minutes an  
absolute dead calm prevailed1 and then1 
with the suddenness of a  thunderclap1  
the wind snorted out of the southwest--a
 shift of eight  points and a boisterous
 gale4  ,another night of it was too    
much for us1  and we hove up by hand in 
a cross head-sea4  ,it was not stiff    

work4  ,it  was heart-breaking4  ,and ,i
 know we were both near to crying from  
the hurt  and the exhaustion4  ,and when
 we did get the first anchor up-and-down
 we  couldn't break it out4  ,between   
seas we snubbed her nose down to it1    
took  plenty of turns1 and stood clear  
as she jumped4  ,almost everything      
smashed and parted except the           
anchor-hold4  ,the chocks were jerked   
out1  the rail torn off1 and the very   
covering-board splintered1 and still the
  anchor held4  ,at last1 hoisting the  
reefed mainsail and slacking off a  few 
of the hard-won feet of the chain1 we   
sailed the anchor out4  ,it was  nip and
 tuck1 though1 and there were times when
 the boat was knocked down  flat4  ,we  
repeated the manoeuvre with the         
remaining anchor1 and in the  gathering 
darkness fled into the shelter of the   
river's mouth4    ,i was born so long   
ago that ,i grew up before the era of   
gasolene4  ,as a  result1 ,i am         
old-fashioned4  ,i prefer a sail-boat to

 a motor-boat1 and it  is my belief that
 boat-sailing is a finer1 more          
difficult1 and sturdier  art than       
running a motor4  ,gasolene engines are 
becoming fool-proof1 and  while it is   
unfair to say that any fool can run an  
engine1 it is fair to  say that almost  
any one can4  ,not so1 when it comes to 
sailing a boat4  ,more skill1 more      
intelligence1 and a vast deal more      
training are  necessary4  ,it is the    
finest training in the world for boy and
 youth and  man4  ,if the boy is very   
small1 equip him with a small1          
comfortable  skiff4  ,he will do the    
rest4  ,he won't need to be taught4     
,shortly he  will be setting a tiny     
leg-of-mutton and steering with an oar4 
,then he  will begin to talk keels and  
centreboards and want to take his       
blankets  out and stop aboard all night4
    ,but don't be afraid for him4  ,he  
is bound to run risks and encounter     
accidents4  ,remember1 there are        
accidents in the nursery as well as out 

on the water4  ,more boys have died from
 hot-house culture than have died  on   
boats large and small2 and more boys    
have been made into strong and  reliant 
men by boat-sailing than by lawn-croquet
 and dancing-school4    ,and once a     
sailor1 always a sailor4  ,the savour of
 the salt never stales4  ,the sailor    
never grows so old that he does not care
 to go back for one  more wrestling bout
 with wind and wave4  ,i know it of     
myself4  ,i have  turned rancher1 and   
live beyond sight of the sea4  ,yet ,i  
can stay away  from it only so long4    
,after several months have passed1 ,i   
begin to grow  restless4  ,i find myself
 day-dreaming over incidents of the last
 cruise1  or wondering if the striped   
bass are running on ,wingo ,slough1 or  
eagerly  reading the newspapers for     
reports of the first northern flights of
  ducks4  ,and then1 suddenly1 there is 
a hurried pack of suit-cases and        
overhauling of gear1 and we are off for 
,vallejo where the little ,roamer  lies1

 waiting1 always waiting1 for the skiff 
to come alongside1 for the  lighting of 
the fire in the galley-stove1 for the   
pulling off of gaskets1  the swinging up
 of the mainsail1 and the rat-tat-tat of
 the reef-points1  for the heaving short
 and the breaking out1 and for the      
twirling of the  wheel as she fills away
 and heads up ,bay or down4    ,,jack   
,,london  ,on ,board ,roamer1  ,sonoma  
,creek1  ,april #ae1 #aiaa              
,,four ,,horses ,,and ,a ,,sailor       
,huh6  ,drive four horses6  ,i wouldn't 
sit behind you--not for a thousand      
dollars--over them mountain roads4      
,so said ,henry1 and he ought to have   
known1 for he drives four horses        
himself4    ,said another ,glen ,ellen  
friend3 ,what8  ,london8  ,he drive four
 horses8  ,can't drive one6    ,and the 
best of it is that he was right4  ,even 
after managing to get a  few hundred    
miles with my four horses1 ,i don't know
 how to drive one4  ,just the other day1
 swinging down a steep mountain road and

 rounding an  abrupt turn1 ,i came full 
tilt on a horse and buggy being driven  
by a  woman up the hill4  ,we could not 
pass on the narrow road1 where was only 
a foot to spare1 and my horses did not  
know how to back1 especially up-  hill4 
,about two hundred yards down the hill  
was a spot where we could  pass4  ,the  
driver of the buggy said she didn't dare
 back down because she  was not sure of 
the brake4  ,and as ,i didn't know how  
to tackle one horse1  ,i didn't try it4 
,so we unhitched her horse and backed   
down by hand4  ,which was very well1    
till it came to hitching the horse to   
the buggy  again4  ,she didn't know how4
  ,i didn't either1 and ,i had depended 
on her  knowledge4  ,it took us about   
half an hour1 with frequent debates and 
consultations1 though it is an absolute 
certainty that never in its life  was   
that horse hitched in that particular   
way4    ,no2 ,i can't harness up one    
horse4  ,but ,i can four1 which compels 
me to  back up again to get to my       

beginning4  ,having selected ,sonoma    
,valley for  our abiding place1         
,charmian and ,i decided it was about   
time we knew what  we had in our own    
county and the neighbouring ones4  ,how 
to do it1 was  the first question4      
,among our many weaknesses is the one of
 being old-  fashioned4  ,we don't mix  
with gasolene very well4  ,and1 as true 
sailors  should1 we naturally gravitate 
toward horses4  ,being one of those     
lucky  individuals who carries his      
office under his hat1 ,i should have to 
take a  typewriter and a load of books  
along4  ,this put saddle-horses out of  
the  running4  ,charmian suggested      
driving a span4  ,she had faith in me2  
besides1 she could drive a span herself4
  ,but when ,i thought of the many      
mountains to cross1 and of crossing them
 for three months with a poor  tired    
span1 ,i vetoed the proposition and said
 we'd have to come back to  gasolene    
after all4  ,this she vetoed just as    
emphatically1 and a deadlock  obtained  

until ,i received inspiration4    ,why  
not drive four horses8 ,i said4    ,but 
you don't know how to drive four horses1
 was her objection4    ,i threw my chest
 out and my shoulders back4  ,what man  
has done1 ,i can  do1 ,i proclaimed     
grandly4  ,and please don't forget that 
when we sailed  on the ,snark ,i knew   
nothing of navigation1 and that ,i      
taught myself as  ,i sailed4    ,very   
well1 she said4  7,and there's faith for
 you6 7  ,they shall be  four saddle    
horses1 and we'll strap our saddles on  
behind the rig4    ,it was my turn to   
object4  ,our saddle horses are not     
broken to harness4    ,then break them4 
,and what ,i knew about horses1 much    
less about breaking them1 was just      
about as much as any sailor knows4      
,having been kicked1 bucked off1  fallen
 over backward upon1 and thrown out and 
run over1 on very numerous  occasions1  
,i had a mighty vigorous respect for    
horses2 but a wife's faith  must be     
lived up to1 and ,i went at it4    ,king

 was a polo pony from ,st4 ,louis1 and  
,prince a many-gaited love-horse  from  
,pasadena4  ,the hardest thing was to   
get them to dig in and pull4  ,they     
rollicked along on the levels and       
galloped down the hills1 but when  they 
struck an up-grade and felt the weight  
of the breaking-cart1 they  stopped and 
turned around and looked at me4  ,but ,i
 passed them1 and my  troubles began4   
,milda was fourteen years old1 an       
unadulterated broncho1  and in          
temperament was a combination of mule   
and jack-rabbit blended  equally4  ,if  
you pressed your hand on her flank and  
told her to get over1  she lay down on  
you4  ,if you got her by the head and   
told her to back1  she walked forward   
over you4  ,and if you got behind her   
and shoved and  told her to ,giddap6 she
 sat down on you4  ,also1 she wouldn't  
walk4  ,for  endless weary miles ,i     
strove with her1 but never could ,i get 
her to walk  a step4  ,finally1 she was 
a manger-glutton4  ,no matter how near  

or far  from the stable1 when six       
o'clock came around she bolted for home 
and  never missed the directest         
cross-road4  ,many times ,i rejected    
her4    ,the fourth and most rejected   
horse of all was the ,outlaw4  ,from the
 age  of three to seven she had defied  
all horse-breakers and broken a number  
of them4  ,then a long1 lanky cowboy1   
with a fifty-pound saddle and a         
,mexican bit had got her proud goat4  ,i
 was the next owner4  ,she was my       
favourite riding horse4  ,charmian said 
,i'd have to put her in as a  wheeler   
where ,i would have more control over   
her4  ,now ,charmian had a  favourite   
riding mare called ,maid4  ,i suggested 
,maid as a substitute4  ,charmian       
pointed out that my mare was a branded  
range horse1 while hers  was a          
near-thoroughbred1 and that the legs of 
her mare would be ruined  forever if she
 were driven for three months4  ,i      
acknowledged her mare's                 
thoroughbredness1 and at the same time  

defied her to find any  thoroughbred    
with as small and delicately-viciously  
pointed ears as my  ,outlaw4  ,she      
indicated ,maid's exquisitely thin      
shinbone4  ,i measured the  ,outlaw's4  
,it was equally thin1 although1 ,i      
insinuated1 possibly more  durable4     
,this stabbed ,charmian's pride4  ,of   
course her near-thoroughbred  ,maid1    
carrying the blood of old ,lexington1   
,morella1 and a streak of the           
super-enduring ,morgan1 could run1 walk1
 and work my unregistered ,outlaw  into 
the ground2 and that was the very       
precise reason why such a paragon  of a 
saddle animal should not be degraded by 
harness4    ,so it was that ,charmian   
remained obdurate1 until1 one day1 ,i   
got her  behind the ,outlaw for a       
forty-mile drive4  ,for every inch of   
those forty  miles the ,outlaw kicked   
and jumped1 in between the kicks and    
jumps  finding time and space in which  
to seize its team-mate by the back of   
the  neck and attempt to drag it to the 

ground4  ,another trick the ,outlaw     
developed during that drive was suddenly
 to turn at right angles in the  traces 
and endeavour to butt its team-mate over
 the grade4  ,reluctantly  and nobly did
 ,charmian give in and consent to the   
use of ,maid4  ,the  ,outlaw's shoes    
were pulled off1 and she was turned out 
on range4    ,finally1 the four horses  
were hooked to the rig--a light         
,studebaker trap4  ,with two hours and a
 half of practice1 in which the         
excitement was not  abated by several   
jack-poles and numerous kicking matches1
 ,i announced  myself as ready for the  
start4  ,came the morning1 and ,prince1 
who was to  have been a wheeler with    
,maid1 showed up with a badly kicked    
shoulder4  ,he  did not exactly show up2
 we had to find him1 for he was unable  
to walk4  ,his leg swelled and          
continually swelled during the several  
days we waited  for him4  ,remained only
 the ,outlaw4  ,in from pasture she     
came1 shoes were  nailed on1 and she was

 harnessed into the wheel4  ,friends and
 relatives  strove to press accident    
policies on me1 but ,charmian climbed up
  alongside1 and ,nakata got into the   
rear seat with the typewriter--,nakata1 
who sailed cabin-boy on the ,snark for  
two years and who had shown himself     
afraid of nothing1 not even of me and my
 amateur jamborees in  experimenting    
with new modes of locomotion4  ,and we  
did very nicely1  thank you1 especially 
after the first hour or so1 during which
 time the  ,outlaw had kicked about     
fifty various times1 chiefly to the     
damage of her  own legs and the         
paintwork1 and after she had bitten a   
couple of hundred  times1 to the damage 
of ,maid's neck and ,charmian's temper4 
,it was hard  enough to have her        
favourite mare in the harness without   
also enduring  the spectacle of its     
being eaten alive4    ,our leaders were 
joys4  ,king being a polo pony and      
,milda a rabbit1 they  rounded curves   
beautifully and darted ahead like       

coyotes out of the way  of the wheelers4
  ,milda's besetting weakness was a     
frantic desire not to  have the lead-bar
 strike her hocks4  ,when this happened1
 one of three  things occurred3 either  
she sat down on the lead-bar1 kicked it 
up in the  air until she got her back   
under it1 or exploded in a              
straight-ahead1  harness-disrupting     
jump4  ,not until she carried the       
lead-bar clean away  and danced a       
break-down on it and the traces1 did she
 behave decently4  ,nakata and ,i made  
the repairs with good old-fashioned     
bale-rope1 which is  stronger than      
wrought-iron any time1 and we went on   
our way4    ,in the meantime ,i was     
learning--,i shall not say to tool a    
four-in-hand--but just simply to drive  
four horses4  ,now it is all right      
enough to begin with four work-horses   
pulling a load of several tons4  ,but   
to begin with four light horses1 all    
running1 and a light rig that seems  to 
outrun them--well1 when things happen   

they happen quickly4  ,my  weakness was 
total ignorance4  ,in particular1 my    
fingers lacked training1  and ,i made   
the mistake of depending on my eyes to  
handle the reins4  ,this  brought me up 
against a disastrous optical illusion4  
,the bight of the  off head-line1 being 
longer and heavier than that of the off 
wheel-line1  hung lower4  ,in a moment  
requiring quick action1 ,i invariably   
mistook the  two lines4  ,pulling on    
what ,i thought was the wheel-line1 in  
order to  straighten the team1 ,i would 
see the leaders swing abruptly around   
into a  jack-pole4  ,now for sensations 
of sheer impotence1 nothing can compare 
with a jack-pole1 when the horrified    
driver beholds his leaders prancing     
gaily up the road and his wheelers      
jogging steadily down the road1 all at  
the same time and all harnessed together
 and to the same rig4    ,i no longer   
jack-pole1 and ,i don't mind admitting  
how ,i got out of the  habit4  ,it was  
my eyes that enslaved my fingers into   

ill practices4  ,so ,i  shut my eyes and
 let the fingers go it alone4  ,to-day  
my fingers are  independent of my eyes  
and work automatically4  ,i do not see  
what my  fingers do4  ,they just do it4 
,all ,i see is the satisfactory result4 
,still we managed to get over the ground
 that first day--down sunny ,sonoma     
,valley to the old town of ,sonoma1     
founded by ,general ,vallejo as the     
remotest outpost on the northern        
frontier for the purpose of holding back
  the ,gentiles1 as the wild ,indians of
 those days were called4  ,here  history
 was made4  ,here the last ,spanish     
mission was reared2 here the  ,bear flag
 was raised2 and here ,kit ,carson1 and 
,fremont1 and all our early  adventurers
 came and rested in the days before the 
days of gold4    ,we swung on over the  
low1 rolling hills1 through miles of    
dairy farms and  chicken ranches where  
every blessed hen is white1 and down the
 slopes to  ,petaluma ,valley4  ,here1  
in #aggf1 ,captain ,quiros came up      

,petaluma ,creek  from ,san ,pablo ,bay 
in quest of an outlet to ,bodega ,bay on
 the coast4  ,and  here1 later1 the     
,russians1 with ,alaskan hunters1       
carried skin boats  across from ,fort   
,ross to poach for sea-otters on the    
,spanish preserve of  ,san ,francisco   
,bay4  ,here1 too1 still later1 ,general
 ,vallejo built a fort1  which still    
stands--one of the finest examples of   
,spanish adobe that  remain to us4  ,and
 here1 at the old fort1 to bring the    
chronicle up to  date1 our horses       
proceeded to make peculiarly personal   
history with  astonishing success and   
dispatch4  ,king1 our peerless1         
polo-pony leader1  went lame4  ,so      
hopelessly lame did he go that no       
expert1 then and  afterward1 could      
determine whether the lameness was in   
his frogs1 hoofs1  legs1 shoulders1 or  
head4  ,maid picked up a nail and began 
to limp4  ,milda1 figuring the day      
already sufficiently spent and maniacal 
with  manger-gluttony1 began to         

rabbit-jump4  ,all that held her was the
 bale-  rope4  ,and the ,outlaw1 game to
 the last1 exceeded all previous        
exhibitions of skin-removing1           
paint-marring1 and horse-eating4    ,at 
,petaluma we rested over while ,king was
 returned to the ranch and  ,prince sent
 to us4  ,now ,prince had proved himself
 an excellent wheeler1  yet he had to go
 into the lead and let the ,outlaw      
retain his old place4  ,there is an     
axiom that a good wheeler is a poor     
leader4  ,i object to the  last         
adjective4  ,a good wheeler makes an    
infinitely worse kind of a  leader than 
that4  ,i know 4 4 4 now4  ,i ought to  
know4  ,since that day ,i  have driven  
,prince a few hundred miles in the lead4
  ,he is neither any  better nor any    
worse than the first mile he ran in the 
lead2 and his  worst is even extremely  
worse than what you are thinking4  ,not 
that he is  vicious4  ,he is merely a   
good-natured rogue who shakes hands for 
sugar1  steps on your toes out of sheer 

excessive friendliness1 and just goes on
  loving you in your harshest moments4  
,but he won't get out of the way4       
,also1 whenever he is reproved for being
  in the wrong1 he accuses ,milda of it 
and bites the back of her neck4  ,so    
bad has this become that whenever ,i    
yell ,prince6 in a loud voice1 ,milda   
immediately rabbit-jumps to the side1   
straight ahead1 or sits down on the     
lead-bar4  ,all of which is quite       
disconcerting4  ,picture it yourself4   
,you  are swinging round a sharp1       
down-grade1 mountain curve1 at a fast   
trot4  ,the rock wall is the outside of 
the curve4  ,the inside of the curve is 
a  precipice4  ,the continuance of the  
curve is a narrow1 unrailed bridge4     
,you hit the curve1 throwing the leaders
 in against the wall and making  the    
polo-horse do the work4  ,all is lovely4
  ,the leaders are hugging the  wall    
like nestling doves4  ,but the moment   
comes in the evolution when the  leaders
 must shoot out ahead4  ,they really    

must shoot1 or else they'll  hit the    
wall and miss the bridge4  ,also1 behind
 them are the wheelers1  and the rig1   
and you have just eased the brake in    
order to put sufficient  snap into the  
manoeuvre4  ,if ever team-work is       
required1 now is the time4  ,milda tries
 to shoot4  ,she does her best1 but     
,prince1 bubbling over with             
roguishness1 lags behind4  ,he knows the
 trick4  ,milda is half a length  ahead 
of him4  ,he times it to the fraction of
 a second4  ,maid1 in the  wheel1       
over-running him1 naturally bites him4  
,this disturbs the ,outlaw1  who has    
been behaving beautifully1 and she      
immediately reaches across for  ,maid4  
,simultaneously1 with a fine display of 
firm conviction that it's  all ,milda's 
fault1 ,prince sinks his teeth into the 
back of ,milda's  defenceless neck4     
,the whole thing has occurred in less   
than a second4  ,under the surprise and 
pain of the bite1 ,milda either jumps   
ahead to the  imminent peril of harness 

and lead-bar1 or smashes into the wall1 
stops  short with the lead-bar over her 
back1 and emits a couple of hysterical  
kicks4  ,the ,outlaw invariably selects 
this moment to remove paint4  ,and      
after things are untangled and you have 
had time to appreciate the close  shave1
 you go up to ,prince and reprove him   
with your choicest vocabulary4  ,and    
,prince1 gazelle-eyed and tender1 offers
 to shake hands with you for  sugar4  ,i
 leave it to any one3 a boat would never
 act that way4    ,we have some history 
north of the ,bay4  ,nearly three       
centuries and a half  ago1 that doughty 
pirate and explorer1 ,sir ,francis      
,drake1 combing the  ,pacific for       
,spanish galleons1 anchored in the bight
 formed by ,point  ,reyes1 on which     
to-day is one of the richest dairy      
regions in the world4  ,here1 less than 
two decades after ,drake1 ,sebastien    
,carmenon piled up on  the rocks with a 
silk-laden galleon from the             
,philippines4  ,and in this  same bay of

 ,drake1 long afterward1 the ,russian   
fur-poachers rendezvous'd  their        
bidarkas and stole in through the       
,golden ,gate to the forbidden  waters  
of ,san ,francisco ,bay4    ,farther up 
the coast1 in ,sonoma ,county1 we       
pilgrimaged to the sites of  the        
,russian settlements4  ,at ,bodega ,bay1
 south of what to-day is called         
,russian ,river1 was their anchorage1   
while north of the river they built     
their fort4  ,and much of ,fort ,ross   
still stands4  ,log-bastions1 church1   
and stables hold their own1 and so well1
 with rusty hinges creaking1 that  we   
warmed ourselves at the                 
hundred-years-old double fireplace and  
slept  under the hand-hewn roof beams   
still held together by spikes of        
hand-wrought iron4    ,we went to see   
where history had been made1 and we saw 
scenery as well4  ,one of our stretches 
in a day's drive was from beautiful     
,inverness on  ,tomales ,bay1 down the  
,olema ,valley to ,bolinas ,bay1 along  

the eastern  shore of that body of water
 to ,willow ,camp1 and up over the      
sea-bluffs1  around the bastions of     
,tamalpais1 and down to ,sausalito4     
,from the head  of ,bolinas ,bay to     
,willow ,camp the drive on the edge of  
the beach1 and  actually1 for half-mile 
stretches1 in the waters of the bay     
itself1 was a  delightful experience4   
,the wonderful part was to come4  ,very 
few ,san  ,franciscans1 much less       
,californians1 know of that drive from  
,willow ,camp1  to the south and east1  
along the poppy-blown cliffs1 with the  
sea  thundering in the sheer depths     
hundreds of feet below and the ,golden  
,gate  opening up ahead1 disclosing     
smoky ,san ,francisco on her many hills4
  ,far  off1 blurred on the breast of   
the sea1 can be seen the ,farallones1   
which  ,sir ,francis ,drake passed on a 
,s4 ,w4 course in the thick of what he  
describes as a stynking fog4  ,well     
might he call it that1 and a few  other 
names1 for it was the fog that robbed   

him of the glory of  discovering ,san   
,francisco ,bay4    ,it was on this part
 of the drive that ,i decided at last ,i
 was learning  real mountain-driving4   
,to confess the truth1 for delicious    
titillation  of one's nerve1 ,i have    
since driven over no mountain road that 
was worse1  or better1 rather1 than that
 piece4    ,and then the contrast6      
,from ,sausalito1 over excellent1       
park-like  boulevards1 through the      
splendid redwoods and homes of ,mill    
,valley1  across the blossomed hills of 
,marin ,county1 along the knoll-studded 
picturesque marshes1 past ,san ,rafael  
resting warmly among her hills1 over    
the divide and up the ,petaluma ,valley1
 and on to the grassy feet of  ,sonoma  
,mountain and home4  ,we covered        
fifty-five miles that day4  ,not so     
bad1 eh1 for ,prince the ,rogue1 the    
paint-removing ,outlaw1 the             
thin-shanked thoroughbred1 and the      
rabbit-jumper8  ,and they came in cool  
and dry1 ready for their mangers and the

 straw4    ,oh1 we didn't stop4  ,we    
considered we were just starting1 and   
that was  many weeks ago4  ,we have kept
 on going over six counties which are   
comfortably large1 even for ,california1
 and we are still going4  ,we have      
twisted and tabled1 criss-crossed our   
tracks1 made fascinating and  lengthy   
dives into the interior valleys in the  
hearts of ,napa and ,lake  ,counties1   
travelled the coast for hundreds of     
miles on end1 and are now  in ,eureka1  
on ,humboldt ,bay1 which was discovered 
by accident by the gold-  seekers1 who  
were trying to find their way to and    
from the ,trinity  diggings4  ,even     
here1 the white man's history preceded  
them1 for dim  tradition says that the  
,russians once anchored here and hunted 
sea-otter  before the first ,yankee     
trader rounded the ,horn1 or the first  
,rocky  ,mountain trapper thirsted      
across the ,great ,american ,desert and 
trickled  down the snowy ,sierras to the
 sun-kissed land4  ,no2 we are not      

resting  our horses here on ,humboldt   
,bay4  ,we are writing this article1    
gorging on  abalones and mussels1       
digging clams1 and catching             
record-breaking sea-  trout and rock-cod
 in the intervals in which we are not   
sailing1 motor-  boating1 and swimming  
in the most temperately equable climate 
we have  ever experienced4    ,these    
comfortably large counties6  ,they are  
veritable empires4  ,take  ,humboldt1   
for instance4  ,it is three times as    
large as ,rhode ,island1 one  and a half
 times as large as ,delaware1 almost as 
large as ,connecticut1  and half as     
large as ,massachusetts4  ,the pioneer  
has done his work in  this north of the 
bay region1 the foundations are laid1   
and all is ready  for the inevitable    
inrush of population and adequate       
development of  resources which so far  
have been no more than skimmed1 and     
casually and  carelessly skimmed at     
that4  ,this region of the six counties 
alone will  some day support a          

population of millions4  ,in the        
meanwhile1 ,o you home-  seekers1 you   
wealth-seekers1 and1 above all1 you     
climate-seekers1 now is  the time to get
 in on the ground floor4    ,robert     
,ingersoll once said that the genial    
climate of ,california would in  a      
fairly brief time evolve a race         
resembling the ,mexicans1 and that in   
two or three generations the            
,californians would be seen of a ,sunday
  morning on their way to a cockfight   
with a rooster under each arm4  ,never  
was made a rasher generalisation1 based 
on so absolute an ignorance of  facts4  
,it is to laugh4  ,here is a climate    
that breeds vigour1 with just           
sufficient geniality to prevent the     
expenditure of most of that vigour in   
fighting the elements4  ,here is a      
climate where a man can work three      
hundred and sixty-five days in the year 
without the slightest hint of           
enervation1 and where for three hundred 
and sixty-five nights he must  perforce 

sleep under blankets4  ,what more can   
one say8  ,i consider myself  somewhat  
of climate expert1 having adventured    
among most of the climates  of five out 
of the six zones4  ,i have not yet been 
in the ,antarctic1 but  whatever climate
 obtains there will not deter me from   
drawing the  conclusion that nowhere is 
there a climate to compare with that of 
this  region4  ,maybe ,i am as wrong as 
,ingersoll was4  ,nevertheless ,i take  
my  medicine by continuing to live in   
this climate4  ,also1 it is the only    
medicine ,i ever take4    ,but to return
 to the horses4  ,there is some         
improvement4  ,milda has  actually      
learned to walk4  ,maid has proved her  
thoroughbredness by never  tiring on the
 longest days1 and1 while being the     
strongest and highest  spirited of all1 
by never causing any trouble save for an
 occasional kick  at the ,outlaw4  ,and 
the ,outlaw rarely gallops1 no longer   
butts1 only  periodically kicks1 comes  
in to the pole and does her work without

  attempting to vivisect ,maid's medulla
 oblongata1 and--marvel of  marvels--is 
really and truly getting lazy4  ,but    
,prince remains the same  incorrigible1 
loving and lovable rogue he has always  
been4    ,and the country we've been    
over6  ,the drives through ,napa and    
,lake  ,counties6  ,one1 from ,sonoma   
,valley1 via ,santa ,rosa1 we could not 
refrain  from taking several ways1 and  
on all the ways we found the roads      
excellent for machines as well as       
horses4  ,one route1 and a more         
delightful one for an automobile cannot 
be found1 is out from ,santa ,rosa1     
past old ,altruria and ,mark ,west      
,springs1 then to the right and across  
to  ,calistoga in ,napa ,valley4  ,by   
keeping to the left1 the drive holds on 
up  the ,russian ,river ,valley1 through
 the miles of the noted ,asti ,vineyards
  to ,cloverdale1 and then by way of    
,pieta1 ,witter1 and ,highland ,springs 
to  ,lakeport4  ,still another way we   
took1 was down ,sonoma ,valley1 skirting

  ,san ,pablo ,bay1 and up the lovely   
,napa ,valley4  ,from ,napa were side   
excursions through ,pope and ,berryessa 
,valleys1 on to ,a,etna ,springs1 and   
still on1 into ,lake ,county1 crossing  
the famous ,langtry ,ranch4             
,continuing up the ,napa ,valley1 walled
 on either hand by great rock  palisades
 and redwood forests and carpeted with  
endless vineyards1 and  crossing the    
many stone bridges for which the ,county
 is noted and which  are a joy to the   
beauty-loving eyes as well as to the    
four-horse tyro  driver1 past ,calistoga
 with its old mud-baths and chicken-soup
 springs1  with ,st4 ,helena and its    
giant saddle ever towering before us1 we
 climbed  the mountains on a good grade 
and dropped down past the quicksilver   
mines  to the canyon of the ,geysers4   
,after a stop over night and an         
exploration  of the miniature-grand     
volcanic scene1 we pulled on across the 
canyon and  took the grade where the    
cicadas simmered audibly in the noon    

sunshine  among the hillside manzanitas4
  ,then1 higher1 came the big           
cattle-dotted  upland pastures1 and the 
rocky summit4  ,and here on the summit1 
abruptly1  we caught a vision1 or what  
seemed a mirage4  ,the ocean we had left
 long  days before1 yet far down and    
away shimmered a blue sea1 framed on the
  farther shore by rugged mountains1 on 
the near shore by fat and rolling  farm 
lands4  ,clear ,lake was before us1 and 
like proper sailors we  returned to our 
sea1 going for a sail1 a fish1 and a    
swim ere the day was  done and turning  
into tired ,lakeport blankets in the    
early evening4  ,well  has ,lake ,county
 been called the ,walled-in ,county4    
,but the railroad is  coming4  ,they say
 the approach we made to ,clear ,lake is
 similar to the  approach to ,lake      
,lucerne4  ,be that as it may1 the      
scenery1 with its  distant snow-capped  
peaks1 can well be called ,alpine4      
,and what can be more exquisite than the
 drive out from ,clear ,lake to  ,ukiah 

by way of the ,blue ,lakes chain6--every
 turn bringing into view a  picture of  
breathless beauty2 every glance backward
 revealing some  perfect composition in 
line and colour1 the intense blue of the
 water  margined with splendid oaks1    
green fields1 and swaths of orange      
poppies4  ,but those side glances and   
backward glances were provocative of    
trouble4  ,charmian and ,i disagreed as 
to which way the connecting stream of   
water  ran4  ,we still disagree1 for at 
the hotel1 where we submitted the affair
  to arbitration1 the hotel manager and 
the clerk likewise disagreed4  ,i       
assume1 now1 that we never will know    
which way that stream runs4  ,charmian  
suggests both ways4  ,i refuse such a   
compromise4  ,no stream of water ,i     
ever saw could accomplish that feat at  
one and the same time4  ,the  greatest  
concession ,i can make is that sometimes
 it may run one way and  sometimes the  
other1 and that in the meantime we      
should both consult an  oculist4        

,more valley from ,ukiah to ,willits1   
and then we turned westward through  the
 virgin ,sherwood ,forest of magnificent
 redwood1 stopping at ,alpine for  the  
night and continuing on through         
,mendocino ,county to ,fort ,bragg and  
salt water4  ,we also came to ,fort     
,bragg up the coast from ,fort ,ross1   
keeping our coast journey intact from   
the ,golden ,gate4  ,the coast weather  
was cool and delightful1 the coast      
driving superb4  ,especially in the     
,fort ,ross section did we find the     
roads thrilling1 while all the way      
along we followed the sea4  ,at every   
stream1 the road skirted dizzy cliff-   
edges1 dived down into lush growths of  
forest and ferns and climbed out  along 
the cliff-edges again4  ,the way was    
lined with flowers--wild lilac1  wild   
roses1 poppies1 and lupins4  ,such      
lupins6--giant clumps of them1 of  every
 lupin-shade and--colour4  ,and it was  
along the ,mendocino roads that         
,charmian caused many delays by         

insisting on getting out to pick the    
wild  blackberries1 strawberries1 and   
thimble-berries which grew so profusely4
  ,and ever we caught peeps1 far down1  
of steam schooners loading lumber in    
the rocky coves2 ever we skirted the    
cliffs1 day after day1 crossing         
stretches of rolling farm lands and     
passing through thriving villages and   
saw-mill towns4  ,memorable was our     
launch-trip from ,mendocino ,city up    
,big  ,river1 where the steering gears  
of the launches work the reverse of     
anywhere else in the world2 where we saw
 a stream of logs1 of six to  twelve and
 fifteen feet in diameter1 which filled 
the river bed for miles  to the         
obliteration of any sign of water2 and  
where we were told of a  white or albino
 redwood tree4  ,we did not see this    
last1 so cannot vouch  for it4    ,all  
the streams were filled with trout1 and 
more than once we saw the  side-hill    
salmon on the slopes4  ,no1 side-hill   
salmon is not a  peripatetic fish2 it is

 a deer out of season4  ,but the trout6 
,at ,gualala  ,charmian caught her first
 one4  ,once before in my life ,i had   
caught two  4 4 4 on angleworms4  ,on   
occasion ,i had tried fly and spinner   
and never got  a strike1 and ,i had come
 to believe that all this talk of       
fly-fishing was  just so much           
nature-faking4  ,but on the ,gualala    
,river ,i caught trout--a  lot of       
them--on fly and spinners2 and ,i was   
beginning to feel quite an  expert1     
until ,nakata1 fishing on bottom with a 
pellet of bread for bait1  caught the   
biggest trout of all4  ,i now affirm    
there is nothing in  science nor in art4
  ,nevertheless1 since that day poles   
and baskets have  been added to our     
baggage1 we tackle every stream we come 
to1 and we no  longer are able to       
remember the grand total of our catch4  
,at ,usal1 many hilly and picturesque   
miles north of ,fort ,bragg1 we turned  
again into the interior of ,mendocino1  
crossing the ranges and coming out  in  

,humboldt ,county on the south fork of  
,eel ,river at ,garberville4            
,throughout the trip1 from ,marin       
,county north1 we had been warned of bad
  roads ahead4  ,yet we never found     
those bad roads4  ,we seemed always to  
be just ahead of them or behind them4   
,the farther we came the better the     
roads seemed1 though this was probably  
due to the fact that we were  learning  
more and more what four horses and a    
light rig could do on a  road4  ,and    
thus do ,i save my face with all the    
counties4  ,i refuse to  make invidious 
road comparisons4  ,i can add that      
while1 save in rare  instances on steep 
pitches1 ,i have trotted my horses down 
all the grades1  ,i have never had one  
horse fall down nor have ,i had to send 
the rig to a  blacksmith shop for       
repairs4    ,also1 ,i am learning to    
throw leather4  ,if any tyro thinks it  
is easy to  take a short-handled1       
long-lashed whip1 and throw the end of  
that lash  just where he wants it1 let  

him put on automobile goggles and try   
it4  ,on  reconsideration1 ,i would     
suggest the substitution of a wire      
fencing-mask  for the goggles4  ,for    
days ,i looked at that whip4  ,it       
fascinated me1 and  the fascination was 
composed mostly of fear4  ,at my first  
attempt1  ,charmian and ,nakata became  
afflicted with the same sort of         
fascination1  and for a long time       
afterward1 whenever they saw me reach   
for the whip1  they closed their eyes   
and shielded their heads with their     
arms4    ,here's the problem4  ,instead 
of pulling honestly1 ,prince is lagging 
back  and manoeuvring for a bite at     
,milda's neck4  ,i have four reins in my
  hands4  ,i must put these four reins  
into my left hand1 properly gather  the 
whip handle and the bight of the lash in
 my right hand1 and throw  that lash    
past ,maid without striking her and into
 ,prince4  ,if the lash  strikes ,maid1 
her thoroughbredness will go up in the  
air1 and ,i'll have a  case of horse    

hysteria on my hands for the next half  
hour4  ,but follow4  ,the whole problem 
is not yet stated4  ,suppose that ,i    
miss ,maid and reach  the intended      
target4  ,the instant the lash cracks1  
the four horses jump1  ,prince most of  
all1 and his jump1 with spread wicked   
teeth1 is for the  back of ,milda's     
neck4  ,she jumps to escape--which is   
her second jump1 for  the first one came
 when the lash exploded4  ,the ,outlaw  
reaches for ,maid's  neck1 and ,maid1   
who has already jumped and tried to     
bolt1 tries to bolt  harder4  ,and all  
this infinitesimal fraction of time ,i  
am trying to hold  the four animals with
 my left hand1 while my whip-lash1      
writhing through  the air1 is coming    
back to me4  ,three simultaneous things 
,i must do3 keep  hold of the four reins
 with my left hand2 slam on the brake   
with my foot2  and on the rebound catch 
that flying lash in the hollow of my    
right arm  and get the bight of it      
safely into my right hand4  ,then ,i    

must get two  of the four lines back    
into my right hand and keep the horses  
from  running away or going over the    
grade4  ,try it some time4  ,you will   
find  life anything but wearisome4      
,why1 the first time ,i hit the mark and
 made  the lash go off like a revolver  
shot1 ,i was so astounded and delighted 
that ,i was paralysed4  ,i forgot to do 
any of the multitudinous other  things1 
tangled the whip lash in ,maid's        
harness1 and was forced to call  upon   
,charmian for assistance4  ,and now1    
confession4  ,i carry a few  pebbles    
handy4  ,they're great for reaching     
,prince in a tight place4  ,but  just   
the same ,i'm learning that whip every  
day1 and before ,i get home ,i  hope to 
discard the pebbles4  ,and as long as ,i
 rely on pebbles1 ,i cannot  truthfully 
speak of myself as tooling a            
four-in-hand4    ,from ,garberville1    
where we ate eel to repletion and got   
acquainted with  the aborigines1 we     
drove down the ,eel ,river ,valley for  

two days through  the most unthinkably  
glorious body of redwood timber to be   
seen anywhere  in ,california4  ,from   
,dyerville on to ,eureka1 we caught     
glimpses of  railroad construction and  
of great concrete bridges in the course 
of  building1 which advertised that at  
least ,humboldt ,county was going to be 
linked to the rest of the world4    ,we 
still consider our trip is just begun4  
,as soon as this is mailed from         
,eureka1 it's heigh ho6 for the horses  
and pull on4  ,we shall continue up  the
 coast1 turn in for ,hoopa ,reservation 
and the gold mines1 and shoot  down the 
,trinity and ,klamath rivers in ,indian 
canoes to ,requa4  ,after  that1 we     
shall go on through ,del ,norte ,county 
and into ,oregon4  ,the trip  so far has
 justified us in taking the attitude    
that we won't go home  until the winter 
rains drive us in4  ,and1 finally1 ,i am
 going to try the  experiment of putting
 the ,outlaw in the lead and relegating 
,prince to his  old position in the near

 wheel4  ,i won't need any pebbles then4
          ,,nothing ,,that ,,ever ,,came
 ,,to ,,anything      ,it was at ,quito1
 the mountain capital of ,ecuador1 that 
the following  passage at correspondence
 took place4  ,having occasion to buy a 
pair of  shoes in a shop six feet by    
eight in size and with walls three feet 
thick1 ,i noticed a mangy leopard skin  
on the floor4  ,i had no ,spanish4  ,the
 shop-keeper had no ,english4  ,but ,i  
was an adept at sign language4  ,i      
wanted to know where ,i should go to buy
 leopard skins4  ,on my scribble-  pad  
,i drew the interesting streets of a    
city4  ,then ,i drew a small shop1      
which1 after much effort1 ,i persuaded  
the proprietor into recognising as  his 
shop4  ,next1 ,i indicated in my drawing
 that on the many streets there  were   
many shops4  ,and1 finally1 ,i made     
myself into a living interrogation      
mark1 pointing all the while from the   
mangy leopard skin to the many  shops ,i
 had sketched4    ,but the proprietor   

failed to follow me4  ,so did his       
assistant4  ,the  street came in to     
help--that is1 as many as could crowd   
into the six-by-  eight shop2 while     
those that could not force their way in 
held an  overflow meeting on the        
sidewalk4  ,the proprietor and the rest 
took turns  at talking to me in         
rapid-fire ,spanish1 and1 from the      
expressions on  their faces1 all        
concluded that ,i was remarkably stupid4
  ,again ,i went  through my programme1 
pointing on the sketch from the one shop
 to the  many shops1 pointing out that  
in this particular shop was one leopard 
skin1 and then questing interrogatively 
with my pencil among all the  shops4    
,all regarded me in blank silence1 until
 ,i saw comprehension  suddenly dawn on 
the face of a small boy4    ,tigres     
montanya6 he cried4    ,this appealed to
 me as mountain tigers1 namely1         
leopards2 and in token  that he         
understood1 the boy made signs for me to
 follow him1 which ,i  obeyed4  ,he led 

me for a quarter of a mile1 and paused  
before the doorway  of a large building 
where soldiers slouched on sentry duty  
and in and out  of which went other     
soldiers4  ,motioning for me to remain1 
he ran inside4    ,fifteen minutes later
 he was out again1 without leopard      
skins1 but full  of information4  ,by   
means of my card1 of my hotel card1 of  
my watch1 and  of the boy's fingers1 ,i 
learned the following3 that at six      
o'clock that  evening he would arrive at
 my hotel with ten leopard skins for my 
inspection4  ,further1 ,i learned that  
the skins were the property of one      
,captain ,ernesto ,becucci4  ,also1 ,i  
learned that the boy's name was ,eliceo4
    ,the boy was prompt4  ,at six       
o'clock he was at my room4  ,in his hand
 was a  small roll addressed to me4  ,on
 opening it ,i found it to be manuscript
  piano music1 the ,hora ,tranquila     
,valse1 or ,tranquil ,hour ,waltz1 by   
,ernesto ,becucci4  ,i came for leopard 
skins1 thought ,i1 and the owner  sends 

me sheet music instead4  ,but the boy   
assured me that he would have  the skins
 at the hotel at nine next morning1 and 
,i entrusted to him the  following      
letter of acknowledgment3       ,,dear  
,,captain ,,becucci3       ,a thousand  
thanks for your kind presentation of    
,hora ,tranquila     ,valse4  ,mrs4     
,london will play it for me this        
evening4       ,sincerely yours1        
,jack ,london4    ,next morning ,eliceo 
was back1 but without the skins4        
,instead1 he gave me  a letter1 written 
in ,spanish1 of which the following is a
 free  translation3       ,to my dearest
 and always appreciated friend1 ,i      
submit myself--       ,,dear ,,sir3     
,i sent you last night an offering by   
the bearer of this note1 and you        
returned me a letter which ,i           
translated4       ,be it known to you1  
sir1 that ,i am giving this waltz away  
in the best     society1 and therefore  
to your honoured self4  ,therefore it is
     beholden to you to recognise the   

attention1 ,i mean by a tangible        
return1 as this composition was made by 
myself4  ,you will therefore     send by
 your humble servant1 the bearer1 any   
offering1 however minute1     that you  
may be prompted to make4  ,send it under
 cover of an envelope4     ,the bearer  
may be trusted4       ,i did not indulge
 in the pleasure of visiting your       
honourable self     this morning1 as ,i 
find my body not to be enjoying the     
normal exercise     of its functions4   
,as regards the skins from the mountain1
 you shall be waited on by a     small  
boy at seven o'clock at night with ten  
skins from which you may     select     
those which most satisfy your           
aspirations4       ,in the hope that you
 will look upon this in the same light  
as myself1     ,i beg to be allowed to  
remain1       ,your most faithful       
servant1       ,,captain ,,ernesto      
,,becucci4    ,well1 thought ,i1 this   
,captain ,ernesto ,becucci has shown    
himself to be  such an undependable     

person1 that1 while ,i don't mind       
rewarding him for  his composition1 ,i  
fear me if ,i do ,i never shall lay eyes
 on those  leopard skins4  ,so to       
,eliceo ,i gave this letter for the     
,captain3       ,,my ,,dear ,,captain   
,,becucci3       ,have the boy bring the
 skins at seven o'clock this evening1   
when ,i     shall be glad to look at    
them4  ,this evening when the boy brings
 the     skins1 ,i shall be pleased to  
give him1 in an envelope1 for you1 a    
tangible return for your musical        
composition4       ,please put the price
 on each skin1 and also let me know for 
what sum     all the skins will sell    
together4       ,sincerely yours1       
,,jack ,,london4    ,now1 thought ,i1 ,i
 have him4  ,no skins1 no tangible      
return2 and evidently  he is set on     
receiving that tangible return4    ,at  
seven o'clock ,eliceo was back1 but     
without leopard skins4  ,he handed  me  
this letter3       ,,senor ,,london3    
,i wish to instil in you the belief that

 ,i lost to-day1 at half past     three 
in the afternoon1 the key to my cubicle4
  ,while distributing     rations to the
 soldiers ,i dropped it4  ,i see in this
 loss the act of     ,god4       ,i     
received a letter from your honourable  
self1 delivered by the one     who bears
 you this poor response of mine4        
,to-morrow ,i will burst open     the   
door to permit me to keep my word with  
you4  ,i feel myself     eternally      
shamed not to be able to dominate the   
evils that afflict     colonial mankind4
  ,please send me the trifle that you   
offered me4  ,send     me this proof of 
your appreciation by the bearer1 who is 
to be     trusted4  ,also give to him a 
small sum of money for himself1 and earn
     the undying gratitude of           
,your most faithful servant1            
,,captain ,,ernesto ,,becucci4    ,also1
 inclosed in the foregoing letter was   
the following original poem1 a  propos  
neither of leopard skins nor tangible   
returns1 so far as ,i can  make out3    

,,effusion       ,thou canst not weep2  
,nor ask ,i for a year     ,to rid me of
 my woes     ,or make my life more dear4
       ,the mystic chains that bound    
,thy all-fond heart to mine1     ,alas6 
asundered are     ,for now and for all  
time4       ,in vain you strove to hide1
     ,from vulgar gaze of man1     ,the 
burning glance of love     ,that none   
but ,love can scan4       ,go on thy    
starlit way     ,and leave me to my     
fate2     ,our souls must needs unite-- 
,but1 ,god6 'twill be too late4    ,to  
all and sundry of which ,i replied3     
,,my ,,dear ,,captain ,,becucci3        
,i regret exceedingly to hear that by   
act of ,god1 at half past three     this
 afternoon1 you lost the key to your    
cubicle4  ,please have the boy     bring
 the skins at seven o'clock to-morrow   
morning1 at which time1     when he     
brings the skins1 ,i shall be glad to   
make you that tangible     return for   
your ',tranquil ,hour ,waltz4'          
,sincerely yours1       ,,jack ,,london4

    ,at seven o'clock came no skins1 but
 the following3       ,,sir3            
,after offering you my most sincere     
respects1 ,i beg to continue by         
telling you that no one1 up to the time 
of writing1 has treated me     with such
 lack of attention4  ,it was a present  
to gentlemen who were     to retain the 
piece of music1 and who have all1       
without exception1     made me a present
 of five dollars4  ,it is beyond my     
humble capacity to     believe that you1
 after having offered to send me money  
in an     envelope1 should fail to do   
so4       ,send me1 ,i pray of you1 the 
money to remunerate the small boy for   
his     repeated visits to you4  ,please
 be discreet and send it in an envelope 
by the bearer4       ,last night ,i came
 to the hotel with the boy4  ,you were  
dining4  ,i     waited more than an hour
 for you and then went to the theatre4  
,give     the boy some small amount1 and
 send me a like offering of larger      
proportions4       ,awaiting incessantly

 a slight attention on your part1       
,,captain ,,ernesto ,,becucci4    ,and  
here1 like one of ,george ,moore's      
realistic studies1 ends this            
intercourse with ,captain ,ernesto      
,becucci4  ,nothing happened4  ,nothing 
ever came to anything4  ,he got no      
tangible return1 and ,i got no leopard  
skins4  ,the tangible return he might   
have got1 ,i presented to ,eliceo1 who  
promptly invested it in a pair of       
trousers and a ticket to the            
bull-fight4    7,,note ,,to             
,,editor4--,this is a faithful narration
 of what actually happened  in ,quito1  
,ecuador47          ,,that ,,dead ,,men 
,,rise ,,up ,,never      ,the month in  
which my seventeenth birthday arrived ,i
 signed on before the  mast on the      
,sophie ,sutherland1 a three-topmast    
schooner bound on a  seven-months'      
seal-hunting cruise to the coast of     
,japan4  ,we sailed from  ,san          
,francisco1 and immediately ,i found    
confronting me a problem of no          

inconsiderable proportions4  ,there were
 twelve men of us in the  forecastle1   
ten of whom were hardened1 tarry-thumbed
 sailors4  ,not alone  was ,i a youth   
and on my first voyage1 but ,i had for  
shipmates men who had  come through the 
hard school of the merchant service of  
,europe4  ,as boys1  they had had to    
perform their ship's duty1 and1 in      
addition1 by  immemorial sea custom1    
they had had to be the slaves of the    
ordinary and  able-bodied seamen4  ,when
 they became ordinary seamen they were  
still the  slaves of the able-bodied4   
,thus1 in the forecastle1 with the watch
  below1 an able seaman1 lying in his   
bunk1 will order an ordinary seaman  to 
fetch him his shoes or bring him a drink
 of water4  ,now the ordinary  seaman   
may be lying in his bunk4  ,he is just  
as tired as the able  seaman4  ,yet he  
must get out of his bunk and fetch and  
carry4  ,if he  refuses1 he will be     
beaten4  ,if1 perchance1 he is so strong
 that he can  whip the able seaman1 then

 all the able seamen1 or as many as may 
be  necessary1 pitch upon the luckless  
devil and administer the beating4    ,my
 problem now becomes apparent4  ,these  
hard-bit ,scandinavian sailors had  come
 through a hard school4  ,as boys they  
had served their mates1 and as  able    
seamen they looked to be served by other
 boys4  ,i was a boy--withal  with a    
man's body4  ,i had never been to sea   
before--withal ,i was a good  sailor and
 knew my business4  ,it was either a    
case of holding my own with  them or of 
going under4  ,i had signed on as an    
equal1 and an equal ,i must  maintain   
myself1 or else endure seven months of  
hell at their hands4  ,and  it was this 
very equality they resented4  ,by what  
right was ,i an equal8  ,i  had not     
earned that high privilege4  ,i had not 
endured the miseries they  had endured  
as maltreated boys or bullied           
ordinaries4  ,worse than that1 ,i  was a
 land-lubber making his first voyage4   
,and yet1 by the injustice of  fate1 on 

the ship's articles ,i was their equal4 
,my method was deliberate1 and simple1  
and drastic4  ,in the first place1 ,i   
resolved to do my work1 no matter how   
hard or dangerous it might be1 so  well 
that no man would be called upon to do  
it for me4  ,further1 ,i put  ginger in 
my muscles4  ,i never malingered when   
pulling on a rope1 for ,i  knew the     
eagle eyes of my forecastle mates were  
squinting for just such  evidences of my
 inferiority4  ,i made it a point to be 
among the first of  the watch going on  
deck1 among the last going below1 never 
leaving a  sheet or tackle for some one 
else to coil over a pin4  ,i was always 
eager  for the run aloft for the        
shifting of topsail sheets and tacks1 or
 for  the setting or taking in of       
topsails2 and in these matters ,i did   
more  than my share4    ,furthermore1 ,i
 was on a hair-trigger of resentment    
myself4  ,i knew better  than to accept 
any abuse or the slightest patronizing4 
,at the first hint  of such1 ,i went    

off--,i exploded4  ,i might be beaten in
 the subsequent  fight1 but ,i left the 
impression that ,i was a wild-cat and   
that ,i would  just as willingly fight  
again4  ,my intention was to demonstrate
 that ,i  would tolerate no imposition4 
,i proved that the man who imposed on me
  must have a fight on his hands4  ,and 
doing my work well1 the innate  justice 
of the men1 assisted by their wholesome 
dislike for a clawing and  rending      
wild-cat ruction1 soon led them to give 
over their hectoring4  ,after a bit of  
strife1 my attitude was accepted1 and it
 was my pride that  ,i was taken in as  
an equal in spirit as well as in fact4  
,from then on1  everything was          
beautiful1 and the voyage promised to be
 a happy one4    ,but there was one     
other man in the forecastle4  ,counting 
the  ,scandinavians as ten1 and myself  
as the eleventh1 this man was the       
twelfth and last4  ,we never knew his   
name1 contenting ourselves with  calling
 him the ,bricklayer4  ,he was from     

,missouri--at least he so  informed us  
in the one meagre confidence he was     
guilty of in the early  days of the     
voyage4  ,also1 at that time1 we learned
 several other things4  ,he was a       
bricklayer by trade4  ,he had never even
 seen salt water until  the week before 
he joined us1 at which time he had      
arrived in ,san  ,francisco and looked  
upon ,san ,francisco ,bay4  ,why he1 of 
all men1 at  forty years of age1 should 
have felt the prod to go to sea1 was    
beyond  all of us2 for it was our       
unanimous conviction that no man less   
fitted  for the sea had ever embarked on
 it4  ,but to sea he had come4  ,after a
  week's stay in a sailors'             
boarding-house1 he had been shoved      
aboard of us  as an able seaman4    ,all
 hands had to do his work for him4  ,not
 only did he know nothing1 but  he      
proved himself unable to learn anything4
  ,try as they would1 they  could never 
teach him to steer4  ,to him the compass
 must have been a  profound and awful   

whirligig4  ,he never mastered its      
cardinal points1  much less the checking
 and steadying of the ship on her       
course4  ,he never  did come to know    
whether ropes should be coiled from left
 to right or  from right to left4  ,it  
was mentally impossible for him to learn
 the easy  muscular trick of throwing   
his weight on a rope in pulling and     
hauling4  ,the simplest knots and turns 
were beyond his comprehension1 while he 
was  mortally afraid of going aloft4    
,bullied by captain and mate1 he was one
  day forced aloft4  ,he managed to get 
underneath the crosstrees1 and there  he
 froze to the ratlines4  ,two sailors   
had to go after him to help him  down4  
,all of which was bad enough had there  
been no worse4  ,but he was vicious1    
malignant1 dirty1 and without common    
decency4  ,he was a tall1 powerful  man1
 and he fought with everybody4  ,and    
there was no fairness in his  fighting4 
,his first fight on board1 the first day
 out1 was with me1 when  he1 desiring to

 cut a plug of chewing tobacco1 took my 
personal table-  knife for the purpose1 
and whereupon1 ,i1 on a hair-trigger1   
promptly  exploded4  ,after that he     
fought with nearly every member of the  
crew4  ,when his clothing became too    
filthy to be bearable by the rest of us1
 we  put it to soak and stood over him  
while he washed it4  ,in short1 the     
,bricklayer was one of those horrible   
and monstrous things that one must  see 
in order to be convinced that they      
exist4    ,i will only say that he was a
 beast1 and that we treated him like a  
beast4  ,it is only by looking back     
through the years that ,i realise how   
heartless we were to him4  ,he was      
without sin4  ,he could not1 by the very
  nature of things1 have been anything  
else than he was4  ,he had not made     
himself1 and for his making he was not  
responsible4  ,yet we treated him  as a 
free agent and held him personally      
responsible for all that he was  and    
that he should not have been4  ,as a    

result1 our treatment of him was  as    
terrible as he was himself terrible4    
,finally we gave him the silent         
treatment1 and for weeks before he died 
we neither spoke to him nor did  he     
speak to us4  ,and for weeks he moved   
among us1 or lay in his bunk in  our    
crowded house1 grinning at us his hatred
 and malignancy4  ,he was a  dying man1 
and he knew it1 and we knew it4  ,and   
furthermore1 he knew that  we wanted him
 to die4  ,he cumbered our life with his
 presence1 and ours  was a rough life   
that made rough men of us4  ,and so he  
died1 in a small  space crowded by      
twelve men and as much alone as if he   
had died on some  desolate mountain     
peak4  ,no kindly word1 no last word1   
was passed  between4  ,he died as he had
 lived1 a beast1 and he died hating us  
and  hated by us4    ,and now ,i come to
 the most startling moment of my life4  
,no sooner was he  dead than he was     
flung overboard4  ,he died in a night of
 wind1 drawing  his last breath as the  

men tumbled into their oilskins to the  
cry of ,all  hands6  ,and he was flung  
overboard1 several hours later1 on a day
 of  wind4  ,not even a canvas wrapping 
graced his mortal remains2 nor was he   
deemed worthy of bars of iron at his    
feet4  ,we sewed him up in the  blankets
 in which he died and laid him on a     
hatch-cover for'ard of the  main-hatch  
on the port side4  ,a gunnysack1 half   
full of galley coal1 was  fastened to   
his feet4    ,it was bitter cold4  ,the 
weather-side of every rope1 spar1 and   
stay was  coated with ice1 while all the
 rigging was a harp1 singing and        
shouting  under the fierce hand of the  
wind4  ,the schooner1 hove to1 lurched  
and  floundered through the sea1 rolling
 her scuppers under and perpetually     
flooding the deck with icy salt water4  
,we of the forecastle stood in sea-     
boots and oilskins4  ,our hands were    
mittened1 but our heads were bared in   
the presence of the death we did not    
respect4  ,our ears stung and numbed    

and whitened1 and we yearned for the    
body to be gone4  ,but the  interminable
 reading of the burial service went on4 
,the captain had  mistaken his place1   
and while he read on without purpose we 
froze our  ears and resented this final 
hardship thrust upon us by the helpless 
cadaver4  ,as from the beginning1 so to 
the end1 everything had gone wrong  with
 the ,bricklayer4  ,finally1 the        
captain's son1 irritated beyond         
measure1 jerked the book from the       
palsied fingers of the old man and      
found the place4  ,again the quavering  
voice of the captain arose4  ,then  came
 the cue3 ,and the body shall be cast   
into the sea4  ,we elevated one  end of 
the hatch-cover1 and the ,bricklayer    
plunged outboard and was gone4    ,back 
into the forecastle we cleaned house1   
washing out the dead man's  bunk and    
removing every vestige of him4  ,by sea 
law and sea custom1 we  should have     
gathered his effects together and turned
 them over to the  captain1 who1 later1 

would have held an auction in which we  
should have  bid for the various        
articles4  ,but no man wanted them1 so  
we tossed them  up on deck and overboard
 in the wake of the departed body--the  
last ill-  treatment we could devise to 
wreak upon the one we had hated so4     
,oh1 it  was raw1 believe me2 but the   
life we lived was raw1 and we were as   
raw as  the life4    ,the ,bricklayer's 
bunk was better than mine4  ,less sea   
water leaked down  through the deck into
 it1 and the light was better for lying 
in bed and  reading4  ,partly for this  
reason ,i proceeded to move into his    
bunk4  ,my  other reason was pride4  ,i 
saw the sailors were superstitious1 and 
by  this act ,i determined to show that 
,i was braver than they4  ,i would cap  
my proved equality by a deed that would 
compel their recognition of my          
superiority4  ,oh1 the arrogance of     
youth6  ,but let that pass4  ,the       
sailors were appalled by my intention4  
,one and all1 they warned me that  in   

the history of the sea no man had taken 
a dead man's bunk and lived to  the end 
of the voyage4  ,they instanced case    
after case in their personal            
experience4  ,i was obdurate4  ,then    
they begged and pleaded with me1 and  my
 pride was tickled in that they showed  
they really liked me and were  concerned
 about me4  ,this but served to confirm 
me in my madness4  ,i  moved in1 and1   
lying in the dead man's bunk1 all       
afternoon and evening  listened to dire 
prophecies of my future4  ,also were    
told stories of  awful deaths and       
gruesome ghosts that secretly shivered  
the hearts of all  of us4  ,saturated   
with this1 yet scoffing at it1 ,i rolled
 over at the end  of the second         
dog-watch and went to sleep4    ,at ten 
minutes to twelve ,i was called1 and at 
twelve ,i was dressed and on  deck1     
relieving the man who had called me4    
,on the sealing grounds1 when  hove to1 
a watch of only a single man is kept    
through the night1 each man  holding the

 deck for an hour4  ,it was a dark      
night1 though not a black  one4  ,the   
gale was breaking up1 and the clouds    
were thinning4  ,there  should have been
 a moon1 and1 though invisible1 in some 
way a dim1  suffused radiance came from 
it4  ,i paced back and forth across the 
deck  amidships4  ,my mind was filled   
with the event of the day and with the  
horrible tales my shipmates had told1   
and yet ,i dare to say1 here and  now1  
that ,i was not afraid4  ,i was a       
healthy animal1 and furthermore1        
intellectually1 ,i agreed with          
,swinburne that dead men rise up never4 
,the  ,bricklayer was dead1 and that was
 the end of it4  ,he would rise up      
never--at least1 never on the deck of   
the ,sophie ,sutherland4  ,even then  he
 was in the ocean depths miles to       
windward of our leeward drift1 and  the 
likelihood was that he was already      
portioned out in the maws of many       
sharks4  ,still1 my mind pondered on the
 tales of the ghosts of dead men ,i  had

 heard1 and ,i speculated on the spirit 
world4  ,my conclusion was that  if the 
spirits of the dead still roamed the    
world they carried the  goodness or the 
malignancy of the earth-life with them4 
,therefore1  granting the hypothesis    
7which ,i didn't grant at all71 the     
ghost of the  ,bricklayer was bound to  
be as hateful and malignant as he in    
life had  been4  ,but there wasn't any  
,bricklayer's ghost--that ,i insisted   
upon4    ,a few minutes1 thinking thus1 
,i paced up and down4  ,then1 glancing  
casually for'ard1 along the port side1  
,i leaped like a startled deer and  in a
 blind madness of terror rushed aft     
along the poop1 heading for the  cabin4 
,gone was all my arrogance of youth and 
my intellectual calm4  ,i  had seen a   
ghost4  ,there1 in the dim light1 where 
we had flung the dead  man overboard1 ,i
 had seen a faint and wavering form4    
,six-feet in length  it was1 slender1   
and of substance so attenuated that ,i  
had distinctly  seen through it the     

tracery of the fore-rigging4    ,as for 
me1 ,i was as panic-stricken as a       
frightened horse4  ,i1 as ,i1 had       
ceased to exist4  ,through me were      
vibrating the fibre-instincts of ten    
thousand generations of superstitious   
forebears who had been afraid of  the   
dark and the things of the dark4  ,i was
 not ,i4  ,i was1 in truth1  those ten  
thousand forebears4  ,i was the race1   
the whole human race1 in  its           
superstitious infancy4  ,not until part 
way down the  cabin-companionway did my 
identity return to me4  ,i checked my   
flight and  clung to the steep ladder1  
suffocating1 trembling1 and dizzy4      
,never1  before nor since1 have ,i had  
such a shock4  ,i clung to the ladder   
and  considered4  ,i could not doubt my 
senses4  ,that ,i had seen something    
there was no discussion4  ,but what was 
it8  ,either a ghost or a joke4  ,there 
could be nothing else4  ,if a ghost1 the
 question was3 would it  appear again8  
,if it did not1 and ,i aroused the      

ship's officers1 ,i would  make myself  
the laughing stock of all on board4     
,and by the same token1  if it were a   
joke1 my position would be still more   
ridiculous4  ,if ,i were  to retain my  
hard-won place of equality1 it would    
never do to arouse any  one until ,i    
ascertained the nature of the thing4    
,i am a brave man4  ,i dare to say so2  
for in fear and trembling ,i crept up   
the companion-way and went back to the  
spot from which ,i had first seen  the  
thing4  ,it had vanished4  ,my bravery  
was qualified1 however4  ,though  ,i    
could see nothing1 ,i was afraid to go  
for'ard to the spot where ,i had  seen  
the thing4  ,i resumed my pacing up and 
down1 and though ,i cast many  an       
anxious glance toward the dread spot1   
nothing manifested itself4  ,as  my     
equanimity returned to me1 ,i concluded 
that the whole affair had been  a trick 
of the imagination and that ,i had got  
what ,i deserved for  allowing my mind  
to dwell on such matters4    ,once more 

my glances for'ard were casual1 and not 
anxious2 and then1  suddenly1 ,i was a  
madman1 rushing wildly aft4  ,i had seen
 the thing  again1 the long1 wavering   
attenuated substance through which could
 be  seen the fore-rigging4  ,this time 
,i had reached only the break of the    
poop when ,i checked myself4  ,again ,i 
reasoned over the situation1 and it  was
 pride that counselled strongest4  ,i   
could not afford to make myself a       
laughing-stock4  ,this thing1 whatever  
it was1 ,i must face alone4  ,i must    
work it out myself4  ,i looked back to  
the spot where we had tilted the        
,bricklayer4  ,it was vacant4  ,nothing 
moved4  ,and for a third time ,i        
resumed my amidships pacing4    ,in the 
absence of the thing my fear died away  
and my intellectual poise  returned4    
,of course it was not a ghost4  ,dead   
men did not rise up4  ,it  was a joke1 a
 cruel joke4  ,my mates of the          
forecastle1 by some unknown  means1 were
 frightening me4  ,twice already must   

they have seen me run  aft4  ,my cheeks 
burned with shame4  ,in fancy ,i could  
hear the smothered  chuckling and       
laughter even then going on in the      
forecastle4  ,i began to  grow angry4   
,jokes were all very well1 but this was 
carrying the thing  too far4  ,i was the
 youngest on board1 only a youth1 and   
they had no  right to play tricks on me 
of the order that ,i well knew in the   
past had  made raving maniacs of men and
 women4  ,i grew angrier and angrier1   
and  resolved to show them that ,i was  
made of sterner stuff and at the same   
time to wreak my resentment upon them4  
,if the thing appeared again1 ,i  made  
my mind up that ,i would go up to       
it--furthermore1 that ,i would go up  to
 it knife in hand4  ,when within        
striking distance1 ,i would strike4  ,if
  a man1 he would get the knife-thrust  
he deserved4  ,if a ghost1 well1 it     
wouldn't hurt the ghost any1 while ,i   
would have learned that dead men did    
rise up4    ,now ,i was very angry1 and 

,i was quite sure the thing was a trick2
 but  when the thing appeared a third   
time1 in the same spot1 long1           
attenuated1  and wavering1 fear surged  
up in me and drove most of my anger     
away4  ,but  ,i did not run4  ,nor did  
,i take my eyes from the thing4  ,both  
times  before1 it had vanished while ,i 
was running away1 so ,i had not seen the
  manner of its going4  ,i drew my      
sheath-knife from my belt and began my  
advance4  ,step by step1 nearer and     
nearer1 the effort to control myself    
grew more severe4  ,the struggle was    
between my will1 my identity1 my very   
self1 on the one hand1 and on the other1
 the ten thousand ancestors who  were   
twisted into the fibres of me and whose 
ghostly voices were  whispering of the  
dark and the fear of the dark that had  
been theirs in  the time when the world 
was dark and full of terror4    ,i      
advanced more slowly1 and still the     
thing wavered and flitted with  strange 
eerie lurches4  ,and then1 right before 

my eyes1 it vanished4  ,i  saw it       
vanish4  ,neither to the right nor left 
did it go1 nor backward4  ,right there1 
while ,i gazed upon it1 it faded away1  
ceased to be4  ,i  didn't die1 but ,i   
swear1 from what ,i experienced in those
 few succeeding  moments1 that ,i know  
full well that men can die of fright4   
,i stood  there1 knife in hand1 swaying 
automatically to the roll of the ship1  
paralysed with fear4  ,had the          
,bricklayer suddenly seized my throat   
with  corporeal fingers and proceeded to
 throttle me1 it would have been no     
more than ,i expected4  ,dead men did   
rise up1 and that would be the most     
likely thing the malignant ,bricklayer  
would do4    ,but he didn't seize my    
throat4  ,nothing happened4  ,and1 since
 nature  abhors a status1 ,i could not  
remain there in the one place forever   
paralysed4  ,i turned and started aft4  
,i did not run4  ,what was the use8     
,what chance had ,i against the         
malevolent world of ghosts8  ,flight1   

with  me1 was the swiftness of my legs4 
,the pursuit1 with a ghost1 was the     
swiftness of thought4  ,and there were  
ghosts4  ,i had seen one4    ,and so1   
stumbling slowly aft1 ,i discovered the 
explanation of the  seeming4  ,i saw the
 mizzen topmast lurching across a faint 
radiance of  cloud behind which was the 
moon4  ,the idea leaped in my brain4  ,i
  extended the line between the cloudy  
radiance and the mizzen-topmast and     
found that it must strike somewhere near
 the fore-rigging on the port  side4    
,even as ,i did this1 the radiance      
vanished4  ,the driving clouds of  the  
breaking gale were alternately          
thickening and thinning before the  face
 of the moon1 but never exposing the    
face of the moon4  ,and when the  clouds
 were at their thinnest1 it was a very  
dim radiance that the moon  was able to 
make4  ,i watched and waited4  ,the next
 time the clouds  thinned ,i looked     
for'ard1 and there was the shadow of the
 topmast1 long  and attenuated1 wavering

 and lurching on the deck and against   
the  rigging4    ,this was my first     
ghost4  ,once again have ,i seen a      
ghost4  ,it proved to  be a             
,newfoundland dog1 and ,i don't know    
which of us was the more  frightened1   
for ,i hit that ,newfoundland a full    
right-arm swing to the  jaw4  ,regarding
 the ,bricklayer's ghost1 ,i will say   
that ,i never mentioned  it to a soul on
 board4  ,also1 ,i will say that in all 
my life ,i never went  through more     
torment and mental suffering than on    
that lonely night-watch  on the ,sophie 
,sutherland4    7,,to ,,the             
,,editor4--,this is not a fiction4  ,it 
is a true page out of my  life47        
,a ,,classic ,,of ,,the ,,sea           
,introduction to ,two ,years before the 
,mast4    ,once in a hundred years is a 
book written that lives not alone for   
its  own century but which becomes a    
document for the future centuries4      
,such  a book is ,dana's4  ,when        
,marryat's and ,cooper's sea novels are 

gone to  dust1 stimulating and joyful as
 they have been to generations of men1  
still will remain ,two ,years ,before   
the ,mast4    ,paradoxical as it may    
seem1 ,dana's book is the classic of the
 sea1 not  because there was anything   
extraordinary about ,dana1 but for the  
precise  contrary reason that he was    
just an ordinary1 normal man1           
clear-seeing1  hard-headed1 controlled1 
fitted with adequate education to go    
about the  work4  ,he brought a trained 
mind to put down with untroubled vision 
what  he saw of a certain phase of      
work-a-day life4  ,there was nothing    
brilliant nor fly-away about him4  ,he  
was not a genius4  ,his heart never     
rode his head4  ,he was neither         
overlorded by sentiment nor hag-ridden  
by  imagination4  ,otherwise he might   
have been guilty of the beautiful       
exaggerations in ,melville's ,typee or  
the imaginative orgies in the  latter's 
,moby ,dick4  ,it was ,dana's cool poise
 that saved him from being              

spread-eagled and flogged when two of   
his mates were so treated2 it was  his  
lack of abandon that prevented him from 
taking up permanently with  the sea1    
that prevented him from seeing more than
 one poetical spot1 and  more than one  
romantic spot on all the coast of ,old  
,california4  ,yet  these apparent      
defects were his strength4  ,they       
enabled him magnificently  to write1 and
 for all time1 the picture of the       
sea-life of his time4    ,written close 
to the middle of the last century1 such 
has been the  revolution worked in man's
 method of trafficking with the sea1    
that the  life and conditions described 
in ,dana's book have passed utterly     
away4  ,gone are the crack clippers1 the
 driving captains1 the hard-bitten but  
efficient foremast hands4  ,remain only 
crawling cargo tanks1 dirty  tramps1    
greyhound liners1 and a sombre1 sordid  
type of sailing ship4  ,the  only       
records broken to-day by sailing vessels
 are those for slowness4  ,they are no  

longer built for speed1 nor are they    
manned before the mast  by as sturdy a  
sailor stock1 nor aft the mast are they 
officered by sail-  carrying captains   
and driving mates4    ,speed is left to 
the liners1 who run the silk1 and tea1  
and spices4  ,admiralty courts1 boards  
of trade1 and underwriters frown upon   
driving  and sail-carrying4  ,no more   
are the free-and-easy1 dare-devil days1 
when  fortunes were made in fast runs   
and lucky ventures1 not alone for       
owners1  but for captains as well4      
,nothing is ventured now4  ,the risks of
 swift  passages cannot be abided4      
,freights are calculated to the last    
least  fraction of per cent4  ,the      
captains do no speculating1 no          
bargain-making  for the owners4  ,the   
latter attend to all this1 and by wire  
and cable  rake the ports of the seven  
seas in quest of cargoes1 and through   
their  agents make all business         
arrangements4    ,it has been learned   
that small crews only1 and large        

carriers only1 can  return a decent     
interest on the investment4  ,the       
inevitable corollary is  that speed and 
spirit are at a discount4  ,there is no 
discussion of the  fact that in the     
sailing merchant marine the seamen1 as a
 class1 have  sadly deteriorated4  ,men 
no longer sell farms to go to sea4  ,but
 the time  of which ,dana writes was the
 heyday of fortune-making and adventure 
on  the sea--with the full connotation  
of hardship and peril always  attendant4
    ,it was ,dana's fortune1 for the    
sake of the picture1 that the ,pilgrim  
was an average ship1 with an average    
crew and officers1 and managed with     
average discipline4  ,even the hazing   
that took place after the  ,california  
coast was reached1 was of the average   
sort4  ,the ,pilgrim  savoured not in   
any way of a hell-ship4  ,the captain1  
while not the  sweetest-natured man in  
the world1 was only an average down-east
 driver1  neither brilliant nor slovenly
 in his seamanship1 neither cruel nor   

sentimental in the treatment of his men4
  ,while1 on the one hand1 there  were  
no extra liberty days1 no delicacies    
added to the meagre forecastle  fare1   
nor grog or hot coffee on double        
watches1 on the other hand the  crew    
were not chronically crippled by the    
continual play of  knuckle-dusters and  
belaying pins4  ,once1 and once only1   
were men flogged  or ironed--a very fair
 average for the year #ahcd1 for at that
 time  flogging on board merchant       
vessels was already well on the decline4
    ,the difference between the sea-life
 then and now can be no better          
epitomised than in ,dana's description  
of the dress of the sailor of his  day3 
,the trousers tight around the hips1 and
 thence hanging long and loose  around  
the feet1 a superabundance of checked   
shirt1 a low-crowned1 well-  varnished  
black hat1 worn on the back of the head1
 with half a fathom of  black ribbon    
hanging over the left eye1 and a        
peculiar tie to the black  silk         

neckerchief4    ,though ,dana sailed    
from ,boston only three-quarters of a   
century ago1 much  that is at present   
obsolete was then in full sway4  ,for   
instance1 the old  word larboard was    
still in use4  ,he was a member of the  
larboard  watch4  ,the vessel was on the
 larboard tack4  ,it was only the other 
day1 because of its similarity in sound 
to starboard1 that larboard was  changed
 to port4  ,try to imagine ,all larboard
 bowlines on deck6 being  shouted down  
into the forecastle of a present day    
ship4  ,yet that was the  call used on  
the ,pilgrim to fetch ,dana and the rest
 of his watch on  deck4    ,the         
chronometer1 which is merely the least  
imperfect time-piece man has  devised1  
makes possible the surest and easiest   
method by far of  ascertaining          
longitude4  ,yet the ,pilgrim sailed in 
a day when the  chronometer was just    
coming into general use4  ,so little was
 it depended  upon that the ,pilgrim    
carried only one1 and that one1 going   

wrong at  the outset1 was never used    
again4  ,a navigator of the present     
would be  aghast if asked to voyage for 
two years1 from ,boston1 around the     
,horn to  ,california1 and back again1  
without a chronometer4  ,in those days  
such a  proceeding was a matter of      
course1 for those were the days when    
dead  reckoning was indeed something to 
reckon on1 when running down the        
latitude was a common way of finding a  
place1 and when lunar observations  were
 direly necessary4  ,it may be fairly   
asserted that very few merchant         
officers of to-day ever make a lunar    
observation1 and that a large           
percentage are unable to do it4         
,sept4 #bbnd41 upon coming on deck at   
seven bells in the morning we found  the
 other watch aloft throwing water upon  
the sails1 and looking astern  we saw a 
small1 clipper-built brig with a black  
hull heading directly  after us4  ,we   
went to work immediately1 and put all   
the canvas upon the  brig which we could

 get upon her1 rigging out oars for     
studding-sail  yards2 and contined      
wetting down the sails by buckets of    
water whipped up  to the mast-head 4 4 4
 ,she was armed1 and full of men1 and   
showed no  colours4    ,the foregoing   
sounds like a paragraph from ,midshipman
 ,easy or the  ,water ,witch1 rather    
than a paragraph from the soberest1     
faithfullest1  and most literal         
chronicle of the sea ever written4  ,and
 yet the chase by  a pirate occurred1 on
 board the brig ,pilgrim1 on ,september 
#bbnd1  #ahcd--something like only two  
generations ago4    ,dana was the       
thorough-going type of man1 not         
overbalanced and erratic1  without quirk
 or quibble of temperament4  ,he was    
efficient1 but not  brilliant4  ,his was
 a general all-round efficiency4  ,he   
was efficient at  the law2 he was       
efficient at college2 he was efficient  
as a sailor2 he  was efficient in the   
matter of pride1 when that pride was no 
more than  the pride of a forecastle    

hand1 at twelve dollars a month1 in his 
seaman's task well done1 in the smart   
sailing of his captain1 in the          
clearness and trimness of his ship4     
,there is no sailor whose cockles of the
 heart will not warm to ,dana's         
description of the first time he sent   
down a royal yard4  ,once or twice  he  
had seen it done4  ,he got an old hand  
in the crew to coach him4  ,and  then1  
the first anchorage at ,monterey1 being 
pretty thick with the  second mate1 he  
got him to ask the mate to be sent up   
the first time the  royal yards were    
struck4  ,fortunately1 as ,dana         
describes it1 ,i got  through without   
any word from the officer2 and heard the
 'well done' of  the mate1 when the yard
 reached the deck1 with as much         
satisfaction as ,i  ever felt at        
,cambridge on seeing a 'bene' at the    
foot of a ,latin  exercise4    ,this was
 the first time ,i had taken a weather  
ear-ring1 and ,i felt not a  little     
proud to sit astride of the weather     

yard-arm1 past the ear-ring1  and sing  
out ',haul out to leeward6'  ,he had    
been over a year at sea  before he      
essayed this able seaman's task1 but he 
did it1 and he did it  with pride4  ,and
 with pride1 he went down a four-hundred
 foot cliff1 on a  pair of top-gallant  
studding-sail halyards bent together1 to
 dislodge  several dollars worth of     
stranded bullock hides1 though all the  
acclaim  he got from his mates was3     
,what a d-d fool you were to risk your  
life  for half a dozen hides6    ,in    
brief1 it was just this efficiency in   
pride1 as well as work1 that  enabled   
,dana to set down1 not merely the       
photograph detail of life before  the   
mast and hide-droghing on the coast of  
,california1 but of the  untarnished    
simple psychology and ethics of the     
forecastle hands who  droghed the hides1
 stood at the wheel1 made and took in   
sail1 tarred down  the rigging1         
holystoned the decks1 turned in         
all-standing1 grumbled as  they cut     

about the kid1 criticised the seamanship
 of their officers1 and  estimated the  
duration of their exile from the cubic  
space of the hide-  house4    ,,jack    
,,london  ,glen ,ellen1 ,california1    
,august #ac1 #aiaa4        ,a ,,wicked  
,,woman  7,curtain ,raiser7  ,,by ,,jack
 ,,london      ,scene--,california4     
,time--,afternoon of a summer day4      
,,characters    ,,loretta1 ,a sweet1    
young thing4  ,frightfully innocent4    
,about nineteen  years old4  ,slender1  
delicate1 a fragile flower4  ,ingenuous4
    ,,ned ,,bashford1 ,a jaded young man
 of the world1 who has philosophised his
  experiences and who is without faith  
in the veracity or purity of women4     
,,billy ,,marsh1 ,a boy from a country  
town who is just about as innocent as   
,loretta4  ,awkward4  ,positive4  ,raw  
and callow youth4    ,,alice            
,,hemingway1 ,a society woman1          
good-hearted1 and a match-maker4        
,,jack ,,hemingway1 ,her husband4       
,,maid4      ,a ,,wicked ,,woman        

,curtain rises on a conventional living 
room of a country house in  ,california4
  ,it is the ,hemingway house at ,santa 
,clara4  ,the room is  remarkable for   
magnificent stone fireplace at rear     
centre4  ,on either  side of fireplace  
are generous1 diamond-paned windows4    
,wide1 curtained  doorways to right and 
left4  ,to left1 front1 table1 with vase
 of flowers  and chairs4  ,to right1    
front1 grand piano4    ,curtain         
discovers ,,loretta seated at piano1 not
 playing1 her back to it1  facing ,,ned 
,,bashford1 who is standing4            
,,loretta4  ,petulantly1 fanning herself
 with sheet of music4  ,no1 ,i won't  go
 fishing4  ,it's too warm4  ,besides1   
the fish won't bite so early in the     
afternoon4    ,,ned4  ,oh1 come on4     
,it's not warm at all4  ,and anyway1 we 
won't really  fish4  ,i want to tell you
 something4    ,,loretta4  ,still       
petulantly4  ,you are always wanting to 
tell me  something4    ,,ned4  ,yes1 but
 only in fun4  ,this is different4      

,this is serious4  ,our  4 4 4 my       
happiness depends upon it4    ,,loretta4
  ,speaking eagerly1 no longer petulant1
 looking1 serious and  delighted1       
divining a proposal4  ,then don't wait4 
,tell me right here4    ,,ned4  ,almost 
threateningly4  ,shall ,i8    ,,loretta4
  ,challenging4  ,yes4    ,he looks     
around apprehensively as though fearing 
interruption1 clears  his throat1 takes 
resolution1 also takes ,,loretta's hand4
    ,,loretta is startled1 timid1 yet   
willing to hear1 naively unable to      
conceal her love for him4    ,,ned4     
,speaking softly4  ,loretta  4 4 4 ,i1 4
 4 4 ever since ,i met you ,i  have--   
,,jack ,,hemingway appears in the       
doorway to the left1 just entering4     
,,ned suddenly drops ,,loretta's hand4  
,he shows exasperation4    ,,loretta    
shows disappointment at interruption4   
,,ned4  ,confound it    ,,loretta4      
,shocked4  ,ned6  ,why will you swear   
so8    ,,ned4  ,testily4  ,that isn't   
swearing4    ,,loretta4  ,what is it1   

pray8    ,,ned4  ,displeasuring4        
,,jack ,,hemingway4  ,who is crossing   
over to right4  ,squabbling again8      
,,loretta4  ,indignantly and with       
dignity4  ,no1 we're not4    ,,ned4     
,gruffly4  ,what do you want now8       
,,jack ,,hemingway4  ,enthusiastically4 
,come on fishing4    ,,ned4  ,snappily4 
,no4  ,it's too warm4    ,,jack         
,,hemingway4  ,resignedly1 going out    
right4  ,you needn't take a  fellow's   
head off4    ,,loretta4  ,i thought you 
wanted to go fishing4    ,,ned4  ,not   
with ,jack4    ,,loretta4  ,accusingly1 
fanning herself vigorously4  ,and you   
told me it  wasn't warm at all4         
,,ned4  ,speaking softly4  ,that isn't  
what ,i wanted to tell you1 ,loretta4   
,he takes her hand4  ,dear ,loretta--   
,enter abruptly ,,alice ,,hemingway from
 right4    ,,loretta sharply jerks her  
hand away1 and looks put out4    ,,ned  
tries not to look awkward4    ,,alice   
,,hemingway4  ,goodness6  ,i thought    
you'd both gone fishing6    ,,loretta4  

,sweetly4  ,is there anything you want1 
,alice8    ,,ned4  ,trying to be        
courteous4  ,anything ,i can do8        
,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,speaking quickly1
 and trying to withdraw4  ,no1 no4  ,i  
only came to see if the mail had        
arrived4    ,,loretta ,,and ,,ned       
,speaking together4  ,no1 it hasn't     
arrived4    ,,loretta4  ,suddenly moving
 toward door to right4  ,i am going to  
see4    ,,ned looks at her              
reproachfully4    ,,loretta looks back  
tantalisingly from doorway and          
disappears4    ,,ned flings himself     
disgustedly into ,morris chair4         
,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,moving over and  
standing in front of him4  ,speaks      
accusingly4  ,what have you been saying 
to her8    ,,ned4  ,disgruntled4        
,nothing4    ,,alice ,,hemingway4       
,threateningly4  ,now listen to me1     
,ned4    ,,ned4  ,earnestly4  ,on my    
word1 ,alice1 ,i've been saying nothing 
to her4    ,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,with  
sudden change of front4  ,then you ought

 to have  been saying something to her4 
,,ned4  ,irritably4  ,getting chair for 
her1 seating her1 and seating  himself  
again4  ,look here1 ,alice1 ,i know your
 game4  ,you invited me down  here to   
make a fool of me4    ,,alice           
,,hemingway4  ,nothing of the sort1 sir4
  ,i asked you down to meet a  sweet and
 unsullied girl--the sweetest1 most     
innocent and ingenuous girl  in the     
world4    ,,ned4  ,dryly4  ,that's what 
you said in your letter4    ,,alice     
,,hemingway4  ,and that's why you came4 
,jack had been trying for a  year to get
 you to come4  ,he did not know what    
kind of a letter to write4    ,,ned4    
,if you think ,i came because of a line 
in a letter about a girl ,i'd  never    
seen--    ,,alice ,,hemingway4          
,mockingly4  ,the poor1 jaded1          
world-worn man1 who is  no longer       
interested in women 4 4 4 and girls6    
,the poor1 tired pessimist  who has lost
 all faith in the goodness of women--   
,,ned4  ,for which you are responsible4 

,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,incredulously4   
,i8    ,,ned4  ,you are responsible4    
,why did you throw me over and marry    
,jack8    ,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,do you 
want to know8    ,,ned4  ,yes4          
,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,judiciously4     
,first1 because ,i did not love you4    
,second1 because you did not love me4   
,she smiles at his protesting hand  and 
at the protesting expression on his     
face4  ,and third1 because there  were  
just about twenty-seven other women at  
that time that you loved1 or  thought   
you loved4  ,that is why ,i married     
,jack4  ,and that is why you lost  faith
 in the goodness of women4  ,you have   
only yourself to blame4    ,,ned4       
,admiringly4  ,you talk so convincingly4
  ,i almost believe you as ,i  listen to
 you4  ,and yet ,i know all the time    
that you are like all the  rest of your 
sex--faithless1 unveracious1 and 4 4 4  
,he glares at her1 but does not proceed4
    ,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,go on4  ,i'm 
not afraid4    ,,ned4  ,with finality4  

,and immoral4    ,,alice ,,hemingway4   
,oh6  ,you wretch6    ,,ned4            
,gloatingly4  ,that's right4  ,get      
angry4  ,you may break the  furniture if
 you wish4  ,i don't mind4    ,,alice   
,,hemingway4  ,with sudden change of    
front1 softly4  ,and how about          
,loretta8    ,,ned gasps and remains    
silent4    ,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,the   
depths of duplicity that must lurk under
 that sweet  and innocent exterior 4 4 4
 according to your philosophy6    ,,ned4
  ,earnestly4  ,loretta is an exception1
 ,i confess4  ,she is all that  you said
 in your letter4  ,she is a little      
fairy1 an angel4  ,i never  dreamed of  
anything like her4  ,it is remarkable to
 find such a woman in  this age4        
,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,encouragingly4   
,she is so naive4    ,,ned4  ,taking the
 bait4  ,yes1 isn't she8  ,her face and 
her tongue betray  all her secrets4     
,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,nodding her head4
  ,yes1 ,i have noticed it4    ,,ned4   
,delightedly4  ,have you8    ,,alice    

,,hemingway4  ,she cannot conceal       
anything4  ,do you know that she  loves 
you8    ,,ned4  ,falling into the trap1 
eagerly4  ,do you think so8    ,,alice  
,,hemingway4  ,laughing and rising4     
,and to think ,i once permitted  you to 
make love to me for three weeks6        
,,ned rises4    ,,maid enters from left 
with letters1 which she brings to       
,,alice  ,,hemingway4    ,,alice        
,,hemingway4  ,running over letters4    
,none for you1 ,ned4  ,selecting  two   
letters for herself4  ,tradesmen4       
,handing remainder of letters to        
,,maid4  ,and three for ,loretta4       
,speaking to ,,maid4  ,put them on the  
table1 ,josie4    ,,maid puts letters on
 table to left front1 and makes exit to 
left4    ,,ned4  ,with shade of         
jealousy4  ,loretta seems to have quite 
a  correspondence4    ,,alice           
,,hemingway4  ,with a sigh4  ,yes1 as ,i
 used to when ,i was a girl4    ,,ned4  
,but hers are family letters4    ,,alice
 ,,hemingway4  ,yes1 ,i did not notice  

any from ,billy4    ,,ned4  ,faintly4   
,billy8    ,,alice ,,hemingway4         
,nodding4  ,of course she has told you  
about him8    ,,ned4  ,gasping4  ,she   
has had lovers 4 4 4 already8    ,,alice
 ,,hemingway4  ,and why not8  ,she is   
nineteen4    ,,ned4  ,haltingly4  ,this 
4 4 4 er 4 4 4 this ,billy 4 4 4 8      
,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,laughing and     
putting her hand reassuringly on his    
arm4  ,now don't be alarmed1 poor1 tired
 philosopher4  ,she doesn't love  ,billy
 at all4    ,,loretta enters from right4
    ,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,to ,,loretta1
 nodding toward table4  ,three letters  
for  you4    ,,loretta4  ,delightedly4  
,oh6  ,thank you4    ,,loretta trips    
swiftly across to table1 looks at       
letters1 sits down1  opens letters1 and 
begins to read4    ,,ned4               
,suspiciously4  ,but ,billy8    ,,alice 
,,hemingway4  ,i am afraid he loves her 
very hard4  ,that is why she is  here4  
,they had to send her away4  ,billy was 
making life miserable for  her4  ,they  

were little children                    
together--playmates4  ,and ,billy has   
been1  well1 importunate4  ,and         
,loretta1 poor child1 does not know     
anything about  marriage4  ,that is all4
    ,,ned4  ,reassured4  ,oh1 ,i see4   
,,alice ,,hemingway starts slowly toward
 right exit1 continuing conversation    
and accompanied by ,,ned4    ,,alice    
,,hemingway4  ,calling to ,,loretta4    
,are you going fishing1 ,loretta8       
,,loretta looks up from letter and      
shakes head4    ,,alice ,,hemingway4    
,to ,,ned4  ,then you're not1 ,i        
suppose8    ,,ned4  ,no1 it's too warm4 
,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,then ,i know the 
place for you4    ,,ned4  ,where8       
,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,right here4      
,looks significantly in direction of    
,,loretta4  ,now is your opportunity to 
say what you ought to say4    ,,alice   
,,hemingway laughs teasingly and goes   
out to right4    ,,ned hesitates1 starts
 to follow her1 looks at ,,loretta1 and 
stops4  ,he  twists his moustache and   

continues to look at her meditatively4  
,,loretta is unaware of his presence and
 goes on reading4  ,finishes  letter1   
folds it1 replaces in envelope1 looks   
up1 and discovers ,,ned4    ,,loretta4  
,startled4  ,oh6  ,i thought you were   
gone4    ,,ned4  ,walking across to her4
  ,i thought ,i'd stay and finish our   
conversation4    ,,loretta4  ,willingly1
 settling herself to listen4  ,yes1 you 
were going  to 4 4 4 ,drops eyes and    
ceases talking4    ,,ned4  ,taking her  
hand1 tenderly4  ,i little dreamed when 
,i came down  here visiting that ,i was 
to meet my destiny in--,abruptly        
releases  ,,loretta's hand4    ,,maid   
enters from left with tray4    ,,loretta
 glances into tray and discovers that it
 is empty4  ,she looks  inquiringly at  
,,maid4    ,,maid4  ,a gentleman to see 
you4  ,he hasn't any card4  ,he said for
 me to  tell you that it was ,billy4    
,,loretta4  ,starting1 looking with     
dismay and appeal to ,,ned4  ,oh6 4 4 4 
,ned6    ,,ned  ,gracefully and         

courteously1 rising to his feet and     
preparing to  go4  ,if you'll excuse me 
now1 ,i'll wait till afterward to tell  
you what  ,i wanted4    ,,loretta4  ,in 
dismay4  ,what shall ,i do8    ,,ned4   
,pausing4  ,don't you want to see him8  
,,loretta shakes her head4  ,then don't4
    ,,loretta4  ,slowly4  ,i can't do   
that4  ,we are old friends4  ,we 4 4 4  
were  children together4  ,to the       
,,maid4  ,send him in4  ,to ,,ned1 who  
has  started to go out toward right4    
,don't go1 ,ned4    ,,maid makes exit to
 left4    ,,ned4  ,hesitating a moment4 
,i'll come back4    ,,ned makes exit to 
right4    ,,loretta1 left alone on      
stage1 shows perturbation and dismay4   
,,billy enters from left4  ,stands in   
doorway a moment4  ,his shoes are       
dusty4  ,he looks overheated4  ,his eyes
 and face brighten at sight of          
,,loretta4    ,,billy4  ,stepping       
forward1 ardently4  ,loretta6           
,,loretta4  ,not exactly enthusiastic in
 her reception1 going slowly to  meet   

him4  ,you never said you were coming4  
,,billy shows that he expects to kiss   
her1 but she merely shakes his  hand4   
,,billy4  ,looking down at his very     
dusty shoes4  ,i walked from the        
station4    ,,loretta4  ,if you had let 
me know1 the carriage would have been   
sent for  you4    ,,billy4  ,with       
expression of shrewdness4  ,if ,i had   
let you know1 you  wouldn't have let me 
come4    ,,billy looks around stage     
cautiously1 then tries to kiss her4     
,,loretta4  ,refusing to be kissed4     
,won't you sit down8    ,,billy4        
,coaxingly4  ,go on1 just one4          
,,loretta shakes head and holds  him    
off4  ,why not8  ,we're engaged4        
,,loretta4  ,with decision4   ,we're    
not4  ,you know we're not4  ,you know ,i
  broke it off the day before ,i came   
away4  ,and 4 4 4 and 4 4 4 you'd       
better sit down4    ,,billy sits down on
 edge of chair4  ,,loretta seats herself
 by table4  ,billy1 without rising1     
jerks his chair forward till they are   

facing each  other1 his knees touching  
hers4  ,he yearns toward her4  ,she     
moves back  her chair slightly4         
,,billy4  ,with supreme confidence4     
,that's what ,i came to see you for--to 
get engaged over again4    ,,billy      
hudges chair forward and tries to take  
her hand4    ,,loretta hudges her chair 
back4    ,,billy4  ,drawing out large   
silver watch and looking at it4  ,now   
look  here1 ,loretta1 ,i haven't any    
time to lose4  ,i've got to leave for   
that  train in ten minutes4  ,and ,i    
want you to set the day4    ,,loretta4  
,but we're not engaged1 ,billy4  ,so    
there can't be any setting of  the day4 
,,billy4  ,with confidence4  ,but we're 
going to be4  ,suddenly breaking  out4  
,oh1 ,loretta1 if you only knew how     
,i've suffered4  ,that first night  ,i  
didn't sleep a wink4  ,i haven't slept  
much ever since4  ,hudges chair         
forward4  ,i walk the floor all night4  
,solemnly4  ,loretta1 ,i don't eat      
enough to keep a canary bird alive4     

,loretta 4 4 4 ,hudges chair  forward4  
,,loretta4  ,hudging her chair back     
maternally4  ,billy1 what you need is a 
tonic4  ,have you seen ,doctor ,haskins8
    ,,billy4  ,looking at watch and     
evincing signs of haste4  ,loretta1 when
 a  girl kisses a man1 it means she is  
going to marry him4    ,,loretta4  ,i   
know it1 ,billy4  ,but 4 4 4 ,she       
glances toward letters on  table4       
,captain ,kitt doesn't want me to marry 
you4  ,he says 4 4 4 ,she  takes letter 
and begins to open it4    ,,billy4      
,never mind what ,captain ,kitt says4   
,he wants you to stay and be  company   
for your sister4  ,he doesn't want you  
to marry me because he  knows she wants 
to keep you4    ,,loretta4  ,daisy      
doesn't want to keep me4  ,she wants    
nothing but my own  happiness4  ,she    
says--,she takes second letter from     
table and begins to  open it4           
,,billy4  ,never mind what ,daisy says--
    ,,loretta4  ,taking third letter    
from table and beginning to open it4    

,and  ,martha says--    ,,billy4        
,angrily4  ,darn ,martha and the whole  
boiling of them6    ,,loretta4          
,reprovingly4  ,oh1 ,billy6    ,,billy4 
,defensively4  ,darn isn't swearing1 and
 you know it isn't4    ,there is an     
awkward pause4  ,billy has lost the     
thread of the  conversation and has     
vacant expression4    ,,billy4          
,suddenly recollecting4  ,never mind    
,captain ,kitt1 and ,daisy1 and         
,martha1 and what they want4  ,the      
question is1 what do you want8          
,,loretta4  ,appealingly4  ,oh1 ,billy1 
,i'm so unhappy4    ,,billy4  ,ignoring 
the appeal and pressing home the point4 
,the thing is1  do you want to marry me8
  ,he looks at his watch4  ,just answer 
that4    ,,loretta4  ,aren't you afraid 
you'll miss that train8    ,,billy4     
,darn the train6    ,,loretta4          
,reprovingly4  ,oh1 ,billy6    ,,billy4 
,most irascibly4  ,darn isn't swearing4 
,plaintively4  ,that's  the way you     
always put me off4  ,i didn't come all  

the way here for a  train4  ,i came for 
you4  ,now just answer me one thing4    
,do you want to  marry me8    ,,loretta4
  ,firmly4  ,no1 ,i don't want to marry 
you4    ,,billy4  ,with assurance4  ,but
 you've got to1 just the same4          
,,loretta4  ,with defiance4  ,got to8   
,,billy4  ,with unshaken assurance4     
,that's what ,i said--got to4  ,and     
,i'll  see that you do4    ,,loretta4   
,blazing with anger4  ,i am no longer a 
child4  ,you can't bully  me1 ,billy    
,marsh6    ,,billy4  ,coolly4  ,i'm not 
trying to bully you4  ,i'm trying to    
save your  reputation4    ,,loretta4    
,faintly4  ,reputation8    ,,billy4     
,nodding4  ,yes1 reputation4  ,he pauses
 for a moment1 then  speaks very        
solemnly4  ,loretta1 when a woman kisses
 a man1 she's got to  marry him4        
,,loretta4  ,appalled1 faintly4  ,got   
to8    ,,billy4  ,dogmatically4  ,it is 
the custom4    ,,loretta4  ,brokenly4   
,and when 4 4 4 a 4 4 4 a woman kisses a
 man and  doesn't 4 4 4 marry him 4 4 4 

8    ,,billy4  ,then there is a scandal4
  ,that's where all the scandals you see
  in the papers come from4    ,,billy   
looks at watch4    ,,loretta in silent  
despair4    ,,loretta4  ,in abasement4  
,you are a good man1 ,billy4  ,billy    
shows that  he believes it4  ,and ,i am 
a very wicked woman4    ,,billy4  ,no1  
you're not1 ,loretta4  ,you just didn't 
know4    ,,loretta4  ,with a gleam of   
hope4  ,but you kissed me first4        
,,billy4  ,it doesn't matter4  ,you let 
me kiss you4    ,,loretta4  ,hope dying 
down4  ,but not at first4    ,,billy4   
,but you did afterward and that's what  
counts4  ,you let me you in  the        
grape-arbour4  ,you let me--            
,,loretta4  ,with anguish  ,don't6      
,don't6    ,,billy4                     
,relentlessly4--kiss you when you were  
playing the piano4  ,you  let me kiss   
you that day of the picnic4  ,and ,i    
can't remember all the  times you let me
 kiss you good night4    ,,loretta4     
,beginning to weep4  ,not more than     

five4    ,,billy4  ,with conviction4    
,eight at least4    ,,loretta4          
,reproachfully1 still weeping4  ,you    
told me it was all right4    ,,billy4   
,emphatically4  ,so it was all          
right--until you said you wouldn't      
marry me after all4  ,then it was a     
scandal--only no one knows it yet4  ,if 
you marry me no one ever will know it4  
,looks at watch4  ,i've got to  go4     
,stands up4  ,where's my hat8           
,,loretta4  ,sobbing4  ,this is awful4  
,,billy4  ,approvingly4  ,you bet it's  
awful4  ,and there's only one way  out4 
,looks anxiously about for hat4  ,what  
do you say8    ,,loretta4  ,brokenly4   
,i must think4  ,i'll write to you4     
,faintly4  ,the  train8  ,your hat's in 
the hall4    ,,billy4  ,looks at watch1 
hastily tries to kiss her1 succeeds only
 in  shaking hand1 starts across stage  
toward left4  ,all right4  ,you write to
  me4  ,write to-morrow4  ,stops for a  
moment in doorway and speaks very       
solemnly4  ,remember1 ,loretta1 there   

must be no scandal4    ,billy goes out4 
,,loretta sits in chair quietly weeping4
  ,slowly dries eyes1 rises from  chair1
 and stands1 undecided as to what she   
will do next4    ,,ned enters from      
right1 peeping4  ,discovers that        
,,loretta is alone1 and  comes quietly  
across stage to her4  ,when ,,ned comes 
up to her she begins  weeping again and 
tries to turn her head away4  ,,ned     
catches both her  hands in his and      
compels her to look at him4  ,she weeps 
harder4    ,,ned4  ,putting one arm     
protectingly around her shoulder and    
drawing her  toward him4  ,there1 there1
 little one1 don't cry4    ,,loretta4   
,turning her face to his shoulder like a
 tired child1 sobbing4  ,oh1 ,ned1 if   
you only knew how wicked ,i am4         
,,ned4  ,smiling indulgently4  ,what is 
the matter1 little one8  ,has your      
dearly beloved sister failed to write to
 you8  ,,loretta shakes head4  ,has     
,hemingway been bullying you8  ,,loretta
 shakes head4  ,then it must have  been 

that caller of yours8  ,long pause1     
during which ,,loretta's weeping  grows 
more violent4  ,tell me what's the      
matter1 and we'll see what ,i can  do4  
,he lightly kisses her hair--so lightly 
that she does not know4    ,,loretta4   
,sobbing4  ,i can't4  ,you will despise 
me4  ,oh1 ,ned1 ,i am so  ashamed4      
,,ned4  ,laughing incredulously4  ,let  
us forget all about it4  ,i want to     
tell you something that may make me very
 happy4  ,my fondest hope is that  it   
will make you happy1 too4  ,loretta1 ,i 
love you--    ,,loretta4  ,uttering a   
sharp cry of delight1 then moaning4     
,too late6    ,,ned4  ,surprised4  ,too 
late8    ,,loretta4  ,still moaning4    
,oh1 why did ,i8  ,,ned somewhat        
stiffens4  ,i  was so young4  ,i did not
 know the world then4    ,,ned4  ,what  
is it all about anyway8    ,,loretta4   
,oh1 ,i 4 4 4 he 4 4 4 ,billy 4 4 4 ,i  
am a wicked woman1 ,ned4  ,i  know you  
will never speak to me again4    ,,ned4 
,this 4 4 4 er 4 4 4 this ,billy--what  

has he been doing8    ,,loretta4  ,i 4 4
 4 he 4 4 4 ,i didn't know4  ,i was so  
young4  ,i could not  help it4  ,oh1 ,i 
shall go mad1 ,i shall go mad6          
,,ned's encircling arm goes limp4  ,he  
gently disengages her and deposits  her 
in big chair4    ,,loretta buries her   
face and sobs afresh4    ,,ned4         
,twisting moustache fiercely1 regarding 
her dubiously1 hesitating a  moment1    
then drawing up chair and sitting down4 
,i 4 4 4 ,i do not  understand4         
,,loretta4  ,wailing4  ,i am so unhappy6
    ,,ned4  ,inquisitorially4  ,why     
unhappy8    ,,loretta4  ,because 4 4 4  
he 4 4 4 he wants to marry me4    ,,ned4
  ,his face brightening instantly1      
leaning forward and laying a hand       
soothingly on hers4  ,that should not   
make any girl unhappy4  ,because you    
don't love him is no reason--,abruptly  
breaking off4  ,of course you  don't    
love him8  ,,loretta shakes her head and
 shoulders vigorously4  ,what8          
,,loretta4  ,explosively4  ,no1 ,i don't

 love ,billy6  ,i don't want to love    
,billy6    ,,ned4  ,with confidence4    
,because you don't love him is no reason
 that  you should be unhappy just       
because he has proposed to you4         
,,loretta4  ,sobbing4  ,that's the      
trouble4  ,i wish ,i did love him4  ,oh1
 ,i  wish ,i were dead4    ,,ned4       
,growing complacent4  ,now my dear      
child1 you are worrying yourself  over  
trifles4  ,his second hand joins the    
first in holding her hands4  ,women do  
it every day4  ,because you have changed
 your mind1 or did not  know you mind1  
because you have--to use an             
unnecessarily harsh  word--jilted a     
man--    ,,loretta4  ,interrupting1     
raising her head and looking at him4    
,jilted8  ,oh ,ned1 if that were a all6 
,,ned4  ,hollow voice4  ,all6    ,,ned's
 hands slowly retreat from hers4  ,he   
opens his mouth as though to  speak     
further1 then changes his mind and      
remains silent4    ,,loretta4           
,protestingly4  ,but ,i don't want to   

marry him6    ,,ned4  ,then ,i          
shouldn't4    ,,loretta4  ,but ,i ought 
to marry him4    ,,ned4  ,ought to marry
 him8  ,,loretta nods4  ,that is a      
strong word4    ,,loretta4  ,nodding4   
,i know it is4  ,her lips are trembling1
 but she  strives for control and       
manages to speak more calmly4  ,i am a  
wicked  woman4  ,a terrible wicked      
woman4  ,no one knows how wicked ,i am 4
 4 4  except ,billy4    ,,ned4          
,starting1 looking at her queerly4  ,he 
4 4 4 ,billy knows8  ,,loretta  nods4   
,he debates with himself a moment4      
,tell me about it4  ,you must  tell me  
all of it4    ,,loretta4  ,faintly1 as  
though about to weep again4  ,all of it8
    ,,ned4  ,firmly4  ,yes1 all of it4  
,,loretta4  ,haltingly4  ,and 4 4 4 will
 4 4 4 you 4 4 4 ever 4 4 4 forgive  4 4
 4 me8    ,,ned4  ,drawing a long1      
breath1 desperately4  ,yes1 ,i'll       
forgive you4  ,go  ahead4    ,,loretta4 
,there was no one to tell me4  ,we were 
with each other so much4  ,i did not    

know anything of the world 4 4 4 then4  
,pauses4    ,,ned4  ,impatiently4  ,go  
on4    ,,loretta4  ,if ,i had only      
known4  ,pauses4    ,,ned4  ,biting his 
lip and clenching his hands4  ,yes1 yes4
  ,go on4    ,,loretta4  ,we were       
together almost every evening4    ,,ned4
  ,savagely4  ,billy8    ,,loretta4     
,yes1 of course1 ,billy4  ,we were with 
each other so much 4 4 4  ,if ,i had    
only known 4 4 4 ,there was no one to   
tell me 4 4 4 ,i was so  young 4 4 4    
,breaks down crying4    ,,ned4  ,leaping
 to his feet1 explosively4  ,the        
scoundrel6    ,,loretta4  ,lifting her  
head4  ,billy is not a scoundrel 4 4 4  
,he 4 4 4 he  4 4 4 is a good man4      
,,ned4  ,sarcastically4  ,i suppose     
you'll be telling me next that it was   
all your fault4  ,,loretta nods4  ,what6
    ,,loretta4  ,steadily4  ,it was all 
my fault4  ,i should never have let him4
  ,i was to blame4    ,,ned4  ,paces up 
and down for a minute1 stops in front of
 her1 and speaks  with resignation4     

,all right4  ,i don't blame you in the  
least1 ,loretta4  ,and you have been    
very honest4  ,it is 4 4 4 er 4 4 4     
commendable4  ,but  ,billy is right1 and
 you are wrong4  ,you must get married4 
,,loretta4  ,in dim1 far-away voice4    
,to ,billy8    ,,ned4  ,yes1 to ,billy4 
,i'll see to it4  ,where does he live8  
,i'll make  him4  ,if he won't ,i'll 4 4
 4 ,i'll shoot him6    ,,loretta4       
,crying out with alarm4  ,oh1 ,ned1 you 
won't do that8    ,,ned4  ,sternly4  ,i 
shall4    ,,loretta4  ,but ,i don't want
 to marry ,billy4    ,,ned4  ,sternly4  
,you must4  ,and ,billy must4  ,do you  
understand8  ,it is  the only thing4    
,,loretta4  ,that's what ,billy said4   
,,ned4  ,triumphantly4  ,you see1 ,i am 
right4    ,,loretta4  ,and if 4 4 4 if  
,i don't marry him 4 4 4 there will be 4
 4 4  scandal8    ,,ned4  ,calmly4      
,yes1 there will be scandal4            
,,loretta4  ,that's what ,billy said4   
,oh1 ,i am so unhappy6    ,,loretta     
breaks down into violent weeping4       

,,ned paces grimly up and down1 now and 
again fiercely twisting his  moustache4 
,,loretta4  ,face buried1 sobbing and   
crying all the time4    ,i don't want to
 leave ,daisy6  ,i don't want to leave  
,daisy6  ,what shall ,i  do8  ,what     
shall ,i do8  ,how was ,i to know8  ,he 
didn't tell me4  ,nobody  else ever     
kissed me4  ,,ned stops curiously to    
listen4  ,as he listens his  face       
brightens4  ,i never dreamed a kiss     
could be so terrible 4 4 4 until  4 4 4 
until he told me4  ,he only told me this
 morning4    ,,ned4  ,abruptly4  ,is    
that what you are crying about8         
,,loretta4  ,reluctantly4  ,n-no4       
,,ned4  ,in hopeless voice1 the         
brightness gone out of his face1 about  
to  begin pacing again4  ,then what are 
you crying about8    ,,loretta4         
,because you said ,i had to marry       
,billy4  ,i don't want to marry  ,billy4
  ,i don't want to leave ,daisy4  ,i    
don't know what ,i want4  ,i wish ,i    
were dead4    ,,ned4  ,nerving himself  

for another effort4  ,now look here1    
,loretta1 be  sensible4  ,what is this  
about kisses8  ,you haven't told me     
everything  after all4    ,,loretta4  ,i
 4 4 4 ,i don't want to tell you        
everything4    ,,ned4  ,imperatively4   
,you must4    ,,loretta4  ,surrendering4
  ,well1 then 4 4 4 must ,i8    ,,ned4  
,you must4    ,,loretta4  ,floundering4 
,he 4 4 4 ,i 4 4 4 we 4 4 4 ,i let him1 
and he  kissed me4    ,,ned4            
,desperately1 controlling himself4  ,go 
on4    ,,loretta4  ,he says eight1 but  
,i can't think of more than five times4 
,,ned4  ,yes1 go on4    ,,loretta4      
,that's all4    ,,ned4  ,with vast      
incredulity4  ,all8    ,,loretta4       
,puzzled4  ,all8    ,,ned4  ,awkwardly4 
,i mean 4 4 4 er 4 4 4 nothing worse8   
,,loretta4  ,puzzled4  ,worse8  ,as     
though there could be4  ,billy said--   
,,ned4  ,interrupting4  ,when8          
,,loretta4  ,this afternoon4  ,just now4
  ,billy said that my 4 4 4 our 4 4 4   
our 4 4 4 our kisses were terrible if we

 didn't get married4    ,,ned4  ,what   
else did he say8    ,,loretta4  ,he said
 that when a woman permitted a man to   
kiss her she  always married him4  ,that
 it was awful if she didn't4  ,it was   
the custom1  he said2 and ,i say it is a
 bad1 wicked custom1 and it has broken  
my  heart4  ,i shall never be happy     
again4  ,i know ,i am terrible1 but ,i  
can't  help it4  ,i must have been born 
wicked4    ,,ned4  ,absent-mindedly     
bringing out a cigarette and striking a 
match4  ,do  you mind if ,i smoke8      
,coming to himself again1 and flinging  
away match  and cigarette4  ,i beg your 
pardon4  ,i don't want to smoke4  ,i    
didn't  mean that at all4  ,what ,i mean
 is 4 4 4 ,he bends over ,,loretta1     
catches  her hands in his1 then sits on 
arm of chair1 softly puts one arm around
  her1 and is about to kiss her4        
,,loretta4  ,with horror1 repulsing him4
  ,no6  ,no6    ,,ned4  ,surprised4     
,what's the matter8    ,,loretta4       
,agitatedly4  ,would you make me a      

wickeder woman than ,i am8    ,,ned4  ,a
 kiss8    ,,loretta4  ,there will be    
another scandal4  ,that would make two  
scandals4    ,,ned4  ,to kiss the woman 
,i love 4 4 4 a scandal8    ,,loretta4  
,billy loves me1 and he said so4        
,,ned4  ,billy is a joker 4 4 4 or else 
he is as innocent as you4    ,,loretta4 
,but you said so yourself4    ,,ned4    
,taken aback4  ,i8    ,,loretta4  ,yes1 
you said it yourself1 with your own     
lips1 not ten minutes  ago4  ,i shall   
never believe you again4    ,,ned4      
,masterfully putting arm around her and 
drawing her toward him4  ,and ,i am a   
joker1 too1 and a very wicked man4      
,nevertheless1 you must  trust me4      
,there will be nothing wrong4           
,,loretta4  ,preparing to yield4  ,and  
no 4 4 4 scandal8    ,,ned4  ,scandal   
fiddlesticks4  ,loretta1 ,i want you to 
be my wife4  ,he  waits anxiously4      
,,jack ,,hemingway1 in fishing costume1 
appears in doorway to right and  looks  
on4    ,,ned4  ,you might say something4

    ,,loretta4  ,i will 4 4 4 if 4 4 4  
,,alice ,,hemingway appears in doorway  
to left and looks on4    ,,ned4  ,in    
suspense4  ,yes1 go on4    ,,loretta4   
,if ,i don't have to marry ,billy4      
,,ned4  ,almost shouting4  ,you can't   
marry both of us6    ,,loretta4  ,sadly1
 repulsing him with her hands4  ,then1  
,ned1 ,i cannot  marry you4    ,,ned4   
,dumbfounded4  ,w-what8    ,,loretta4   
,sadly4  ,because ,i can't marry both of
 you4    ,,ned4  ,bosh and nonsense6    
,,loretta4  ,i'd like to marry you1 but 
4 4 4    ,,ned4  ,there is nothing to   
prevent you4    ,,loretta4  ,with sad   
conviction4  ,oh1 yes1 there is4  ,you  
said yourself  that ,i had to marry     
,billy4  ,you said you would s-s-shoot  
him if he  didn't4    ,,ned4  ,drawing  
her toward him4  ,nevertheless 4 4 4    
,,loretta4  ,slightly holding him off4  
,and it isn't the custom 4 4 4 what  4 4
 4 ,billy said8    ,,ned4  ,no1 it isn't
 the custom4  ,now1 ,loretta1 will you  
marry me8    ,,loretta4  ,pouting       

demurely4  ,don't be angry with me1     
,ned4  ,he gathers  her into his arms   
and kisses her4  ,she partially frees   
herself1 gasping4  ,i wish it were the  
custom1 because now ,i'd have to marry  
you1 ,ned1  wouldn't ,i8    ,,ned and   
,,loretta kiss a second time and        
profoundly4    ,,jack ,,hemingway       
chuckles4    ,,ned and ,,loretta1       
startled1 but still in each other's     
arms1 look around4  ,,ned looks sillily 
at ,,alice ,,hemingway4  ,,loretta looks
 at ,,jack ,,hemingway4    ,,loretta4   
,i don't care4    ,,curtain             
,,the ,,birth ,,mark  ,,sketch ,,by     
,,jack ,,london written for ,robert and 
,julia ,fitzsimmons      ,,scene--,one  
of the club rooms of the ,west ,bay     
,athletic ,club4  ,near centre  front is
 a large table covered with newspapers  
and magazines4  ,at left a  punching-bag
 apparatus4  ,at right1 against wall1 a 
desk1 on which rests a  desk-telephone4 
,door at rear toward left4  ,on walls   
are framed pictures  of pugilists1      

conspicuous among which is one of       
,robert ,fitzsimmons4  ,appropriate     
furnishings1 etc41 such as foils1 clubs1
 dumb-bells and  trophies4    ,enter    
,,maud ,,sylvester4    ,she is dressed  
as a man1 in evening clothes1 preferably
 a ,tuxedo4  ,in  her hand is a card1   
and under her arm a paper-wrapped       
parcel4  ,she peeps  about curiously and
 advances to table4  ,she is timorous   
and excited1  elated and at the same    
time frightened4  ,her eyes are dancing 
with  excitement4    ,,maud4  ,pausing  
by table4  ,not a soul saw me4  ,i      
wonder where everybody  is4  ,and that  
big brother of mine said ,i could not   
get in4  ,she reads  back of card4      
,here is my card1 ,maudie4  ,if you can 
use it1 go ahead4  ,but you will never  
get inside the door4  ,i consider my bet
 as good as  won4  ,looking up1         
triumphantly4  ,you do1 do you8  ,oh1 if
 you could see  your little sister now4 
,here she is1 inside4  ,pauses1 and     
looks about4  ,so this is the ,west ,bay

 ,athletic ,club4  ,no women allowed4   
,well1 here ,i  am1 if ,i don't look    
like one4  ,stretches out one leg and   
then the other1  and looks at them4     
,leaving card and parcel on table1 she  
struts around  like a man1 looks at     
pictures of pugilists on walls1 reading 
aloud their  names and making           
appropriate remarks4  ,but she stops    
before the portrait  of ,fitzsimmons and
 reads aloud4  ,robert ,fitzsimmons1 the
 greatest  warrior of them all4  ,clasps
 hands1 and looking up at portrait      
murmurs4  ,oh1 you dear6    ,continues  
strutting around1 imitating what she    
considers are a man's  stride and       
swagger1 returns to table and proceeds  
to unwrap parcel4  ,well1 ,i'll go out  
like a girl1 if ,i did come in like a   
man4  ,drops  wrapping paper on table   
and holds up a woman's long automobile  
cloak and  a motor bonnet4  ,is suddenly
 startled by sound of approaching       
footsteps  and glances in a frightened  
way toward door4  ,mercy6  ,here comes  

somebody now6  ,glances about her in    
alarm1 drops cloak and bonnet on  floor 
close to table1 seizes a handful of     
newspapers1 and runs to large  leather  
chair to right of table1 where she seats
 herself hurriedly4  ,one  paper she    
holds up before her1 hiding her face as 
she pretends to read4  ,unfortunately   
the paper is upside down4  ,the other   
papers lie on her  lap4    ,enter       
,,robert ,,fitzsimmons4    ,he looks    
about1 advances to table1 takes out     
cigarette case and is about  to select  
one1 when he notices motor cloak and    
bonnet on floor4  ,he lays  cigarette   
case on table and picks them up4  ,they 
strike him as profoundly  curious things
 to be in a club room4  ,he looks at    
,,maud1 then sees card on  table4  ,he  
picks it up and reach it to himself1    
then looks at her with  comprehension4  
,hidden by her newspaper1 she sees      
nothing4  ,he looks at  card again and  
reads and speaks in an aside4           
,,fitzsimmons4  ,maudie4  ,john ,h4     

,sylvester4  ,that must be ,jack        
,sylvester's sister ,maud4              
,,fitzsimmons shows by his expression   
that he is  going to play a joke4       
,tossing cloak and bonnet under the     
table he places  card in his vest       
pocket1 selects a chair1 sits down1 and 
looks at ,,maud4  ,he notes paper is    
upside down1 is hugely tickled1 and     
laughs silently4  ,hello6  ,newspaper is
 agitated by slight tremor4  ,he speaks 
more loudly4  ,hello6  ,newspaper shakes
 badly4  ,he speaks very loudly4        
,hello6    ,,maud4  ,peeping at him over
 top of paper and speaking hesitatingly4
  ,h-h-  hello6    ,,fitzsimmons4       
,gruffly4  ,you are a queer one1 reading
 a paper upside  down4    ,,maud4       
,lowering newspaper and trying to appear
 at ease4  ,it's quite a  trick1 isn't  
it8  ,i often practise it4  ,i'm real   
clever at it1 you know4                 
,,fitzsimmons4  ,grunts1 then adds4     
,seems to me ,i have seen you before4   
,,maud4  ,glancing quickly from his face

 to portrait and back again4  ,yes1  and
 ,i know you--,you are ,robert          
,fitzsimmons4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,i     
thought ,i knew you4    ,,maud4  ,yes1  
it was out in ,san ,francisco4  ,my     
people still live there4  ,i'm          
just--ahem--doing ,new ,york4           
,,fitzsimmons4  ,but ,i don't quite     
remember the name4    ,,maud4           
,jones--,harry ,jones4    ,,fitzsimmons4
  ,hugely delighted1 leaping from chair 
and striding over to  her4  ,sure4      
,slaps her resoundingly on shoulder4    
,she is nearly crushed by the weight of 
the blow1 and at the same time  shocked4
  ,she scrambles to her feet4           
,,fitzsimmons4  ,glad to see you1       
,harry4  ,he wrings her hand1 so that it
  hurts4  ,glad to see you again1       
,harry4  ,he continues wringing her hand
  and pumping her arm4    ,,maud4       
,struggling to withdraw her hand and    
finally succeeding4  ,her  voice is     
rather faint4  ,ye-es1 er 4 4 4 ,bob 4 4
 4 er 4 4 4 glad to see  you again4     

,she looks ruefully at her bruised      
fingers and sinks into  chair4  ,then1  
recollecting her part1 she crosses her  
legs in a mannish  way4                 
,,fitzsimmons4  ,crossing to desk at    
right1 against which he leans1 facing   
her4  ,you were a wild young rascal in  
those ,san ,francisco days4  ,chuckling4
  ,lord1 ,lord1 how it all comes back to
 me4    ,,maud4  ,boastfully4  ,i was   
wild--some4    ,,fitzsimmons4           
,grinning4  ,i should say6  ,remember   
that night ,i put you  to bed8          
,,maud4  ,forgetting herself1           
indignantly4  ,sir6    ,,fitzsimmons4   
,you were 4 4 4 er 4 4 4 drunk4         
,,maud4  ,i never was6    ,,fitzsimmons4
  ,surely you haven't forgotten that    
night6  ,you began with  dropping       
champagne bottles out of the club       
windows on the heads of the  people on  
the sidewalk1 and you wound up by       
assaulting a cabman4  ,and let  me tell 
you ,i saved you from a good licking    
right there1 and squared it  with the   

police4  ,don't you remember8    ,,maud4
  ,nodding hesitatingly4  ,yes1 it is   
beginning to come back to me4  ,i was a 
bit tight that night4    ,,fitzsimmons4 
,exultantly4  ,a bit tight6  ,why1      
before ,i could get you to  bed you     
insisted on telling me the story of your
 life4    ,,maud4  ,did ,i8  ,i don't   
remember that4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,i    
should say not4  ,you were past         
remembering anything by  that time4     
,you had your arms around my neck--     
,,maud4  ,interrupting4  ,oh6           
,,fitzsimmons4  ,and you kept repeating 
over and over1 ,bob1 dear ,bob4         
,,maud4  ,springing to her feet4  ,oh6  
,i never did6  ,recollecting  herself4  
,perhaps ,i must have4  ,i was a trifle 
wild in those days1 ,i  admit4  ,but    
,i'm wise now4  ,i've sowed my wild oats
 and steadied down4    ,,fitzsimmons4   
,i'm glad to hear that1 ,harry4  ,you   
were tearing off a  pretty fast pace in 
those days4  ,pause1 in which ,,maud    
nods4  ,still  punch the bag8    ,,maud4

  ,in quick alarm1 glancing at punching 
bag4  ,no1 ,i've got out of  the hang of
 it4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,reproachfully4 
,you haven't forgotten that             
right-and-left1 arm1 elbow and shoulder 
movement ,i taught you8    ,,maud4      
,with hesitation4  ,n-o-o4              
,,fitzsimmons4  ,moving toward bag to   
left4  ,then1 come on4    ,,maud4       
,rising reluctantly and following4  ,i'd
 rather see you punch the  bag4  ,i'd   
just love to4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,i     
will1 afterward4  ,you go to it first4  
,,maud4  ,eyeing the bag in alarm4  ,no2
 you4  ,i'm out of practice4            
,,fitzsimmons4  ,looking at her sharply4
  ,how many drinks have you had to-     
night8    ,,maud4  ,not a one4  ,i don't
 drink--that is--er--only occasionally4 
,,fitzsimmons4  ,indicating bag4  ,then 
go to it4    ,,maud4  ,no2 ,i tell you  
,i am out of practice4  ,i've forgotten 
it all4  ,you  see1 ,i made a discovery4
    ,pauses4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,yes8   
,,maud4  ,i--,i--you remember what a    

light voice ,i always had--almost       
soprano8    ,,fitzsimmons nods4         
,,maud4  ,well1 ,i discovered it was a  
perfect falsetto4    ,,fitzsimmons nods4
    ,,maud4  ,i've been practising it   
ever since4  ,experts1 in another room1 
would swear it was a woman's voice4  ,so
 would you1 if you turned your  back and
 ,i sang4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,who has   
been laughing incredulously1 now becomes
  suspicious4  ,look here1 kid1 ,i think
 you are an impostor4  ,you are not     
,harry ,jones at all4    ,,maud4  ,i am1
 too4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,i don't       
believe it4  ,he was heavier than you4  
,,maud4  ,i had the fever last summer   
and lost a lot of weight4               
,,fitzsimmons4  ,you are the ,harry     
,jones that got sousesd and had to be   
put  to bed8    ,,maud4  ,y-e-s4        
,,fitzsimmons4  ,there is one thing ,i  
remember very distinctly4  ,harry ,jones
  had a birth mark on his knee4  ,he    
looks at her legs searchingly4          
,,maud4  ,embarrassed1 then resolving to

 carry it out4  ,yes1 right here4  ,she 
advances right leg and touches it4      
,,fitzsimmons4  ,triumphantly4  ,wrong4 
,it was the other knee4    ,,maud4  ,i  
ought to know4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,you  
haven't any birth mark at all4          
,,maud4  ,i have1 too4    ,,fitzsimmons4
  ,suddenly springing to her and        
attempting to seize her  leg4  ,then    
we'll prove it4  ,let me see4    ,,maud4
  ,in a panic backs away from him and   
resists his attempts1 until  grinning in
 an aside to the audience1 he gives     
over4  ,she1 in an aside to  audience4  
,fancy his wanting to see my birth mark4
    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,bullying4  ,then   
take a go at the bag4  ,she shakes her  
head4  ,you're not ,harry ,jones4       
,,maud4  ,approaching punching bag4  ,i 
am1 too4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,then hit   
it4    ,,maud4  ,resolving to attempt   
it1 hits bag several nice blows1 and    
then is  struck on the nose by it4  ,oh6
    ,recovering herself and rubbing her 
nose4  ,i told you ,i was out of        

practice4  ,you punch the bag1 ,bob4    
,,fitzsimmons4  ,i will1 if you will    
show me what you can do with that       
wonderful soprano voice of yours4       
,,maud4  ,i don't dare4  ,everybody     
would think there was a woman in the    
club4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,shaking his   
head4  ,no1 they won't4  ,they've all   
gone to  the fight4  ,there's not a soul
 in the building4    ,,maud4  ,alarmed1 
in a weak voice4  ,not--a--soul--in--the
 building8    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,not a    
soul4  ,only you and ,i4    ,,maud4     
,starting hurriedly toward door4  ,then 
,i must go4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,what's  
your hurry8  ,sing4    ,,maud4  ,turning
 back with new resolve4  ,let me see you
 punch the  bag1--er--,bob4             
,,fitzsimmons4  ,you sing first4        
,,maud4  ,no2 you punch first4          
,,fitzsimmons4  ,i don't believe you are
 ,harry--    ,,maud4  ,hastily4  ,all   
right1 ,i'll sing4  ,you sit down over  
there and  turn your back4              
,,fitzsimmons obeys4    ,,maud walks    

over to the table toward right4  ,she is
 about to sing1 when  she notices       
,,fitzsimmons' cigarette case1 picks it 
up1 and in an aside  reads his name on  
it and speaks4    ,,maud4  ,robert      
,fitzsimmons4  ,that will prove to my   
brother that ,i have  been here4        
,,fitzsimmons4  ,hurry up4    ,,maud    
hastily puts cigarette case in her      
pocket and begins to sing4    ,,song    
,during the song ,,fitzsimmons turns his
 head slowly and looks at her with      
growing admiration4    ,,maud4  ,how did
 you like it8    ,,fitzsimmons4         
,gruffly4  ,rotten4  ,anybody could tell
 it was a boy's  voice--    ,,maud4     
,oh6    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,it is rough and
 coarse and it cracked on every high    
note4    ,,maud4  ,oh6  ,oh6            
,recollecting herself and shrugging her 
shoulders4  ,oh1 very well4  ,now  let's
 see if you can do any better with the  
bag4    ,,fitzsimmons takes off coat and
 gives exhibition4    ,,maud looks on in
 an ecstasy of admiration4    ,,maud4   

,as he finishes4  ,beautiful6           
,beautiful6    ,,fitzsimmons puts on    
coat and goes over and sits down near   
table4  ,nothing like the bag to limber 
one up4  ,i feel like a fighting cock4  
,harry1 let's go out on a toot1 you and 
,i4    ,,maud4  ,wh-a-a-t8              
,,fitzsimmons4  ,a toot4  ,you know--one
 of those rip-snorting nights you  used 
to make4    ,,maud4  ,emphatically1 as  
she picks up newspapers from leather    
chair1 sits  down1 and places them on   
her lap4  ,i'll do nothing of the sort4 
,i've--,i've reformed4    ,,fitzsimmons4
  ,you used to joy-ride like the very   
devil4    ,,maud4  ,i know it4          
,,fitzsimmons4  ,and you always had a   
pretty girl or two along4    ,,maud4    
,boastfully1 in mannish1 fashion4  ,oh1 
,i still have my fling4  ,do  you know  
any--well1--er1--nice girls8            
,,fitzsimmons4  ,sure4    ,,maud4  ,put 
me wise4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,sure4  ,you
 know ,jack ,sylvester8    ,,maud4      
,forgetting herself4  ,he's my brother--

    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,exploding4  ,what6 
,,maud4--,in-law's first cousin4        
,,fitzsimmons4  ,oh6    ,,maud4  ,so you
 see ,i don't know him very well4  ,i   
only met him once--at  the club4  ,we   
had a drink together4    ,,fitzsimmons4 
,then you don't know his sister8        
,,maud4  ,starting4  ,his sister8       
,i--,i didn't know he had a sister4     
,,fitzsimmons4  ,enthusiastically4      
,she's a peach4  ,a queen4  ,a little   
bit  of all right4  ,a--a loo-loo4      
,,maud4  ,flattered4  ,she is1 is she8  
,,fitzsimmons4  ,she's a scream4  ,you  
ought to get acquainted with her4       
,,maud4  ,slyly4  ,you know her1 then8  
,,fitzsimmons4  ,you bet4    ,,maud4    
,aside4  ,oh1 ho6  ,to ,,fitzsimmons4   
,know her very well8    ,,fitzsimmons4  
,i've taken her out more times than ,i  
can remember4  ,you'll  like her1 ,i'm  
sure4    ,,maud4  ,thanks4  ,tell me    
some more about her4    ,,fitzsimmons4  
,she dresses a bit loud4  ,but you won't
 mind that4  ,and  whatever you do1     

don't take her to eat4    ,,maud4       
,hiding her chagrin4  ,why not8         
,,fitzsimmons4  ,i never saw such an    
appetite--    ,,maud4  ,oh6             
,,fitzsimmons4  ,it's fair sickening4   
,she must have a tapeworm4  ,and she    
thinks she can sing4    ,,maud4  ,yes8  
,,fitzsimmons4  ,rotten4  ,you can do   
better yourself1 and that's not saying  
much4  ,she's a nice girl1 really she   
is1 but she is the black sheep of  the  
family4  ,funny1 isn't it8    ,,maud4   
,weak voice4  ,yes1 funny4              
,,fitzsimmons4  ,her brother ,jack is   
all right4  ,but he can't do anything   
with her4  ,she's a--a--    ,,maud4     
,grimly4  ,yes4  ,go on4                
,,fitzsimmons4  ,a holy terror4  ,she   
ought to be in a reform school4         
,,maud4  ,springing to her feet and     
slamming newspapers in his face4  ,oh6  
,oh6  ,oh6  ,you liar6  ,she isn't      
anything of the sort6    ,,fitzsimmons4 
,recovering from the onslaught and      
making believe he is  angry1 advancing  

threateningly on her4  ,now ,i'm going  
to put a head on  you4  ,you young      
hoodlum4    ,,maud4  ,all alarm and     
contrition1 backing away from him4      
,don't6  ,please  don't6  ,i'm sorry6   
,i apologise4  ,i--,i beg your pardon1  
,bob4  ,only ,i  don't like to hear     
girls talked about that way1 even--even 
if it is true4  ,and you ought to know4 
,,fitzsimmons4  ,subsiding and resuming 
seat4  ,you've changed a lot1 ,i  must  
say4    ,,maud4  ,sitting down in       
leather chair4  ,i told you ,i'd        
reformed4  ,let us  talk about something
 else4  ,why is it girls like           
prize-fighters8  ,i  should             
think--ahem--,i mean it seems to me that
 girls would think prize-  fighters     
horrid4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,they are    
men4    ,,maud4  ,but there is so much  
crookedness in the game4  ,one hears    
about it  all the time4                 
,,fitzsimmons4  ,there are crooked men  
in every business and profession4  ,the 
best fighters are not crooked4          

,,maud4  ,i--er--,i thought they all    
faked fights when there was enough in   
it4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,not the best    
ones4    ,,maud4  ,did you--er--ever    
fake a fight8    ,,fitzsimmons4         
,looking at her sharply1 then speaking  
solemnly4  ,yes4  ,once4    ,,maud4     
,shocked1 speaking sadly4  ,and ,i      
always heard of you and thought  of you 
as the one clean champion who never     
faked4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,gently and   
seriously4  ,let me tell you about it4  
,it was  down in ,australia4  ,i had    
just begun to fight my way up4  ,it was 
with old  ,bill ,hobart out at          
,rushcutters ,bay4  ,i threw the fight  
to him4    ,,maud4  ,repelled1          
disgusted4  ,oh6  ,i could not have     
believed it of you4    ,,fitzsimmons4   
,let me tell you about it4  ,bill was an
 old fighter4  ,not an  old man1 you    
know1 but he'd been in the fighting game
 a long time4  ,he  was about           
thirty-eight and a gamer man never      
entered the ring4  ,but he  was in hard 

luck4  ,younger fighters were coming up1
 and he was being  crowded out4  ,at    
that time it wasn't often he got a fight
 and the purses  were small4  ,besides  
it was a drought year in ,australia4    
,you don't know  what that means4  ,it  
means that the rangers are starved4  ,it
 means that  the sheep are starved and  
die by the millions4  ,it means that    
there is no  money and no work1 and that
 the men and women and kiddies starve4  
,bill ,hobart had a missus and three    
kids and at the time of his fight with  
me they were all starving4  ,they did   
not have enough to eat4  ,do you        
understand8  ,they did not have enough  
to eat4  ,and ,bill did not have  enough
 to eat4  ,he trained on an empty       
stomach1 which is no way to train       
you'll admit4  ,during that drought year
 there was little enough money in  the  
ring1 but he had failed to get any      
fights4  ,he had worked at long-        
shoring1 ditch-digging1                 
coal-shovelling--anything1 to keep the  

life in  the missus and the kiddies4    
,the trouble was the jobs didn't hold   
out4  ,and there he was1 matched to     
fight with me1 behind in his rent1 a    
tough  old chopping-block1 but weak from
 lack of food4  ,if he did not win the  
fight1 the landlord was going to put    
them into the street4    ,,maud4  ,but  
why would you want to fight with him in 
such weak condition8    ,,fitzsimmons4  
,i did not know4  ,i did not learn till 
at the ringside just  before the fight4 
,it was in the dressing rooms1 waiting  
our turn to go  on4  ,bill came out of  
his room1 ready for the ring4  ,bill1 ,i
 said--in  fun1 you know4  ,bill1 ,i've 
got to do you to-night4  ,he said       
nothing1  but he looked at me with the  
saddest and most pitiful face ,i have   
ever  seen4  ,he went back into his     
dressing room and sat down4    ,poor    
,bill6 one of my seconds said4  ,he's   
been fair starving these last  weeks4   
,and ,i've got it straight1 the landlord
 chucks him out if he loses  to-night4  

,then the call came and we went into the
 ring4  ,bill was desperate4  ,he       
fought like a tiger1 a madman4  ,he was 
fair crazy4  ,he was fighting for  more 
than ,i was fighting for4  ,i was a     
rising fighter1 and ,i was fighting  for
 the money and the recognition4  ,but   
,bill was fighting for life--for  the   
life of his loved ones4    ,well1       
condition told4  ,the strength went out 
of him1 and ,i was fresh as a  daisy4   
,what's the matter1 ,bill8 ,i said to   
him in a clinch4   ,you're  weak4  ,i   
ain't had a bit to eat this day1 he     
answered4  ,that was all4    ,by the    
seventh round he was about all in1      
hanging on and panting and  sobbing for 
breath in the clinches1 and ,i knew ,i  
could put him out any  time4  ,i drew   
back my right for the short-arm jab that
 would do the  business4  ,he knew it   
was coming1 and he was powerless to     
prevent it4    ,for the love of ,god1   
,bob1 he said2 and--,pause4    ,,maud4  
,yes8  ,yes8    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,i held 

back the blow4  ,we were in a clinch4   
,for the love of ,god1 ,bob1 he said    
again1 the misses and the kiddies6      
,and right there ,i saw and knew it all4
  ,i saw the hungry children asleep1    
and the missus sitting up and waiting   
for ,bill to come home1 waiting to  know
 whether they were to have food to eat  
or be thrown out in the  street4        
,bill1 ,i said1 in the next clinch1 so  
low only he could hear4  ,bill1         
remember the ,la ,blanche swing4  ,give 
it to me1 hard4    ,we broke away1 and  
he was tottering and groggy4  ,he       
staggered away and  started to whirl the
 swing4  ,i saw it coming4  ,i made     
believe ,i didn't  and started after him
 in a rush4  ,biff6  ,it caught me on   
the jaw1 and ,i  went down4  ,i was     
young and strong4  ,i could eat         
punishment4  ,i could  have got up the  
first second4  ,but ,i lay there and let
 them count me out4  ,and making believe
 ,i was still dazed1 ,i let them carry  
me to my corner  and work to bring me   

to4  ,pause4    ,well1 ,i faked that    
fight4    ,,maud4  ,springing to him and
 shaking his hand4  ,thank ,god6  ,oh6  
,you are  a man6  ,a--a--a hero6        
,,fitzsimmons4  ,dryly1 feeling in his  
pocket4  ,let's have a smoke4  ,he      
fails to find cigarette case4    ,,maud4
  ,i can't tell you how glad ,i am you  
told me that4    ,,fitzsimmons4         
,gruffly4  ,forget it4  ,he looks on    
table1 and fails to  find cigarette     
case4  ,looks at her suspiciously1 then 
crosses to desk at  right and reaches   
for telephone4    ,,maud4  ,curiously4  
,what are you going to do8              
,,fitzsimmons4  ,call the police4       
,,maud4  ,what for8    ,,fitzsimmons4   
,for you4    ,,maud4  ,for me8          
,,fitzsimmons4  ,you are not ,harry     
,jones4  ,and not only are you an       
impostor1  but you are a thief4         
,,maud4  ,indignantly4  ,how dare you8  
,,fitzsimmons4  ,you have stolen my     
cigarette case4    ,,maud4  ,remembering
 and taken aback1 pulls out cigarette   

case4  ,here it  is4    ,,fitzsimmons4  
,too late4  ,it won't save you4  ,this  
club must be kept  respectable4         
,thieves cannot be tolerated4    ,,maud4
  ,growing alarm4  ,but you won't have  
me arrested8    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,i      
certainly will4    ,,maud4  ,pleadingly4
  ,please6  ,please6    ,,fitzsimmons4  
,obdurately4  ,i see no reason why ,i   
should not4    ,,maud4  ,hurriedly1 in a
 panic4  ,i'll give you a reason--a--a  
good one4  ,i--,i--am not ,harry ,jones4
    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,grimly4  ,a good   
reason in itself to call in the police4 
,,maud4  ,that isn't the reason4        
,i'm--a--,oh6  ,i'm so ashamed4         
,,fitzsimmons4  ,sternly4  ,i should say
 you ought to be4  ,reaches for         
telephone receiver4    ,,maud4  ,in rush
 of desperation4  ,stop6  ,i'm a--,i'm  
a--a girl4  ,there6  ,sinks down in     
chair1 burying her face in her hands4   
,,fitzsimmons1 hanging up receiver1     
grunts4    ,,maud removes hands and     
looks at him indignantly4  ,as she      

speaks her  indignation grows4          
,,maud4  ,i only wanted your cigarette  
case to prove to my brother that ,i  had
 been here4  ,i--,i'm ,maud ,sylvester1 
and you never took me out once4  ,and   
,i'm not a black sheep4  ,and ,i don't  
dress loudly1 and ,i haven't a--a       
tapeworm4    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,grinning  
and pulling out card from vest pocket4  
,i knew  you were ,miss ,sylvester all  
the time4    ,,maud4  ,oh6  ,you brute6 
,i'll never speak to you again4         
,,fitzsimmons4  ,gently4  ,you'll let me
 see you safely out of here4    ,,maud4 
,relenting4  ,ye-e-s4  ,she rises1      
crosses to table1 and is about  to stoop
 for motor cloak and bonnet1 but he     
forestall her1 holds cloak  and helps   
her into it4  ,thank you4  ,she takes   
off wig1 fluffs her own  hair           
becomingly1 and puts on bonnet1 looking 
every inch a pretty young  girl1 ready  
for an automobile ride4                 
,,fitzsimmons4  ,who1 all the time1     
watching her transformation1 has been   

growing bashful1 now handing her the    
cigarette case4  ,here's the  cigarette 
case4  ,you may k-k-keep it4    ,,maud4 
,looking at him1 hesitates1 then takes  
it4  ,i thank you--er--,bob4  ,i shall  
treasure it all my life4  ,he is very   
embarrassed4  ,why1 ,i do  believe      
you're bashful4  ,what is the matter8   
,,fitzsimmons4  ,stammering4            
,why--,i--you--,you are a               
girl--and--a--a--deuced  pretty one4    
,,maud4  ,taking his arm1 ready to start
 for door4  ,but you knew it all  along4
    ,,fitzsimmons4  ,but it's somehow   
different now when you've got your      
girl's  clothes on4    ,,maud4  ,but you
 weren't a bit bashful--or nice1        
when--you--you--,blurting  it out4      
,were so anxious about birth marks4     
,they start to make exit4    ,,curtain