,,the ,,power ,,of ,,faith1 ,,exemplified ,,in ,,the ,,life ,,and ,,writings ,,of ,,the ,,late ,,mrs4 ,,isabella ,,graham4 ,a ,,new ,,edition1 ,,enriched ,,by ,,her ,,narrative ,,of ,,her ,,husband',s ,,death1 ,,and ,,other ,,select ,,correspondence ,the fear of the ,lord is the instruction of wisdom2 and before honor is humility4 ,the ,lord will destroy the house of the proud2 but he will establish the border of the widow4 ,,prov4 #ae3be1 #cc4 ,,published ,,by ,,the ,,american ,,tract ,,society1 #aej ,,nassau ,,street1 ,,new ,,york3 #bh ,,cornhill1 ,,boston4 ,entered according to ,act of ,congress1 in the year #ahdc1 by ,,joanna ,,bethune1 in the ,clerk's ,office of the ,district ,court for the ,southern ,district of ,new ,york4 ,copyright transferred to the ,american ,tract ,society4 ,,contents4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,early ,,life--,,residence ,,in ,,canada4 ,foundation of the excellence of her character--,birth-- ,education--,conversion--,marriage--,voy age to ,quebec-- ,doddridge's ,rise and ,progress--,residence at ,montreal and ,fort ,niagara--,sails for ,antigua--#agdb-aggb1 444444444444444444 #g ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,residence ,,at ,,antigua--,,dr4 ,,graham',s ,,death4 ,dr4 ,graham called to ,st4 ,vincents--,his safe return--,state of his mind--,death of ,mrs4 ,graham's mother--,letter describing the death of ,dr4 ,graham--,kindness of ,dr4 ,h4-- ,reflections--,letters to ,mrs4 ,grandidier and to her father-- ,departure for ,scotland--#aggc-agge1 4444444444444444444444444444 #bb ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,return ,,to ,,scotland--,,school ,,at ,,edinburgh4 ,perilous voyage--,trust in ,god--,return to ,cartside--,care of her father--,residence at ,paisley--,depressed circumstances-- ,peace in ,god--,singular investment and result--,school in ,edinburgh--,friends--,benevolence to poor tradesmen-- ,dancing--,letter of ,lady ,glenorchy--,origin of the ,society for the ,relief of the ,destitute ,sick--,death and character of ,lady ,glenorchy--,letter to a daughter--,visit to ,cartside and ,paisley--,reposes all upon ,christ--,removal to ,new ,york--,devotional exercises--#aggf-aghi1 4444444444444444444 #ed ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,school ,,in ,,new ,,york--,,death ,,of ,,her ,,pastor1 ,,dr4 ,,john ,,mason--,,last ,,news ,,of ,,her ,,son4 ,voyage and reception at ,new ,york--,marriage of ,mrs4 ,stevenson-- ,anxiety for her son--,he escapes a press-gang--,confidence in ,god--,sickness and death of her pastor1 ,dr4 ,john ,mason-- ,his character--,dr4 ,john ,m4 ,mason installed pastor-- ,devotional exercises--,letter to ,a4,d4--,letter to her son-- ,last intelligence of him--,reflections--#aghi-agid1 444444444444 #hb ,,chapter ,v4 ,,death ,,of ,,her ,,daughter--,,first ,,missionary ,,society ,,in ,,new ,,york4 ,marriage of ,mrs4 ,bethune--,death of ,mrs4 ,stevenson--,strong consolation--,singular receipts and liberality--,devotional exercises--,anniversary of her daughter's birth and death-- ,first ,missionary ,society in ,new ,york--,reflections-- ,acquaintance with ,mrs4 ,c---- near ,boston--,letter and devotional exercises--#agie-agig1 44444444444444444444444444444 #aae ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,formation ,,of ,,the ,,widows' ,,society-- ,,close ,,of ,,her ,,school4 ,rise of the ,widows' ,society--,first monthly missionary prayer-meeting--,letter to a young man on joining the church--,the ,essay on ,man--,marriage of ,mrs4 ,smith--,close of her school--,labors for widows and the poor--,letters to ,mrs4 ,c4--,the yellow-fever--,death of ,washington--,devotional exercises--#agig-ahjj1 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 #add ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,benevolent ,,labors--,,mrs4 ,,hoffman-- ,,correspondence4 ,schools and labors connected with the ,widows' ,society--,her friend ,mrs4 ,hoffman--,anniversary of the ,widows' ,society-- ,visit to ,boston--,want of evangelical preaching--,letters to ,miss ,m---- of ,boston--,letters to ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,bethune in ,britain--,anxiety for them--,confidence in ,god--,church discipline--,dr4 ,mason sails for ,britain--#ahjj-ahja1 4444444444 #afg ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,journal ,,and ,,letters--,,ladies' ,,school ,,for ,,poor ,,children4 ,death of a grandchild--,letters to ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,bethune in ,britain--,death of ,b4--,of another grandchild--,of ,pero1 a colored man--,return of ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,bethune--,takes up her abode with them--,devotional exercises--,ladies' school for poor children--,address on its formation--,supplications for a revival of ,god's work--,labors for the suffering poor-- ,letters to ,mrs4 ,c4--,letter to the widow of her brother-- #ahja-ahje1 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 44444444444 #bjj ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,orphan ,,asylum ,,society--,,foreign ,,missionaries4 ,letters--,formation and success of the ,orphan ,asylum-- ,inscription for ,mrs4 ,graham and ,mrs4 ,hoffman--,labors in the ,new ,york hospital and among female convicts--,miss ,farquharson1 first ,american missionary to foreign lands-- ,visit of ,rev4 ,dr4 ,morrison and others--,letter to her children at the ,springs--,letter to ,mrs4 ,juliet ,s4--,visits ,rockaway--,reminiscence of ,elderslie--#ahjf-ahji1 44444444444444 #bej ,,chapter ,x4 ,,new ,,york ,,bible ,,society--,,associations ,,for ,,prayer-- ,,happy ,,old ,,age4 ,letters--,bible ,society organized--,efforts for the revival and extension of religion--,admissions to the communion-- ,narrow escape from drowning at ,rockaway--,barrenness of preaching without ,christ--,devotional exercises--,letters to ,miss ,van ,wyck and ,james ,todd--,happy old age--,letter to ,mrs4 ,c---- in affliction--,letter to ,mrs4 ,g4,y4--,prayer for ministers--,magdalen ,society--,lancasterian school-- #ahji-ahaa1 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 44444444444 #bgj ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,devotional ,,exercises ,,and ,,letters4 ,indwelling sin lamented--,day of fasting--,happiness of the aged ,christian--,sermon in the state-prison--,happy reminiscences--,two grandchildren unite with the church-- ,unfaithfulness to people of the world lamented--,rich temporal blessings--,letter to ,mrs4 ,j4,w4--,day of fasting-- #ahab-ahad1 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 44444444444 #cji ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,closing ,,labors ,,for ,,the ,,poor--,,sickness ,,and ,,death4 ,society for the promotion of industry among the poor-- ,sunday-school of eighty children--,love of evangelical books ,last two weeks--,communion--,last sickness--,peaceful death--,character by ,dr4 ,mason--,epitaph--#ahad1 4444444444444444 #cdh ,,provision ,,for ,,passing ,,over ,,jordan4 ,scripture extracts--,meditations--,poetic effusions1 444444444444444 #cgi ,,life ,,of ,,mrs4 ,,isabella ,,graham4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,early ,,life--,,residence ,,in ,,canada4 ,mankind take an interest in the history of those who1 like themselves1 have encountered the trials and discharged the duties of life4 ,too often1 however1 publicity is given to the lives of men splendid in acts of mighty mischief1 in whom the secret exercises of the heart would not bear a scrutiny4 ,the memoirs are comparatively few of those engaged in the humble and useful walks of active benevolence1 where the breathings of the soul would display a character much to be admired1 and more to be imitated4 ,as the celebrated ,dr4 ,buchanan has observed1 that if you were to ask certain persons in ,christian countries1 if they had any acquaintance with the religious world1 they would say they had never heard there was such a world2 so1 while the external conduct of individuals is made the subject of much critical remark1 the religion of the heart1 the secret source of action1 too frequently escapes unnoticed and unexplored4 ,it is only when the career of life is closed1 that the character is completely established4 ,on this account memoirs of the living are1 in few instances1 read with much interest2 but when the soul has departed1 and the body sleeps in dust1 it may prove useful to survivors to examine the principles which led their departed friend to a life of honorable benevolence1 and to a peaceful end4 ,such considerations as these1 and the urgent request of many respectable individuals1 have induced the preparation of the following sketch of the life and writings of ,mrs4 ,,isabella ,,graham1 whose character was so esteemed1 and whose memory is so venerated by all who knew her4 ,the evident purity of motive which impelled her to activity in deeds of benevolence1 at once commanded love and respect1 which1 in her case peculiarly1 was unalloyed with any risings of jealousy1 envy1 or distrust4 ,blessed with a spirit of philanthropy1 with an ardent and generous mind1 a sound judgment1 and an excess of that sensibility which moulds the soul for friendship1 a cultivated intellect and rich experience1 her company was eagerly sought and highly valued by old and young4 ,though happily qualified to shine in the drawing-room1 her time was seldom wasted there2 for such a disposition of it would have been waste1 contrasted with her usual employments4 ,her steps were not seen ascending the hill1 of ambition1 nor tracing the mazes of popular applause4 ,where the widow and the orphan wept1 where the sick and the dying moaned1 thither her footsteps hastened2 and there1 seen only by her heavenly ,father1 she administered to their temporal wants1 breathed the voice of consolation on their ear1 shed the tear of sympathy1 exhibited the truths of the gospel from the sacred volume1 and poured out her soul for them in prayer to her ,saviour and her ,god4 ,in a few such deeds she rested not1 nor was the story of them obtruded upon others1 or recorded by herself4 ,the recollection of past exertions was lost in her zeal to accomplish greater purposes and greater good3 her heart expanded with her experience1 and her means were too limited1 the active powers of her vigorous mind too feeble1 to fulfil the abounding desires of her soul in alleviating the miseries and increasing the comforts of the poor1 the destitute1 and afflicted4 ,to learn the latent springs of such excellence is worthy of research2 they may be all summed up in this1 the religion of the heart4 ,the extracts from ,mrs4 ,graham's letters and devotional exercises1 which constitute so large a part of the following pages1 will furnish the best development of her principles2 and may1 with the blessing of ,god1 prove useful to those who read them4 ,in all her writings will be manifested the power of faith1 the efficiency of grace1 and in them1 as in her own uniform confession1 ,jesus will be magnified and self will be humbled4 ,her life was chiefly distinguished by her continual dependence on ,god1 and his unceasing faithfulness and mercy towards her4 ,,isabella ,,marshall1 afterwards ,mrs4 ,graham1 was born ,july #bi1 #agdb1 in the shire of ,lanark1 in ,scotland4 ,her grandfather was one of the elders who quitted the established church with the ,rev4 ,messrs4 ,ralph and ,ebenezer ,erskine4 ,she was educated in the principles of the church of ,scotland4 ,her father and mother were both pious2 indeed1 her mother1 whose maiden name was ,janet ,hamilton1 appears1 from her letters yet extant1 to have possessed a mind of the same character as her daughter afterwards exhibited4 ,isabella was trained to an active life1 as well as favored with a superior education4 ,her grandfather1 whose dying-bed she assiduously attended1 bequeathed her a legacy of some hundred pounds4 ,in the use to which she applied this money1 the soundness of her judgment was thus early manifested4 ,she requested it might be appropriated to the purpose of procuring a thorough education4 ,when ten years of age1 she was sent to a boarding-school taught by a lady of distinguished talents and piety4 ,often has ,mrs4 ,graham repeated to her children the maxims of ,mrs4 ,betty ,morehead4 ,with ardent and unwearied endeavors to attain mental endowments1 and especially moral and religious knowledge1 she attended the instructions of ,mrs4 ,morehead for seven successive winters4 ,how valuable is early instruction4 ,with the blessing of ,god1 it is probable that this instructress laid the foundation of the exertions and usefulness of her pupil in after-life4 ,how wise and how gracious are the ways of the ,lord4 ,knowing the path in which he was afterwards to lead ,isabella ,marshall1 her ,god was pleased to provide her an education of a much higher kind than was usual in those days4 ,who would not trust that ,god1 who alone can be the guide of our youth8 ,her father1 ,john ,marshall1 farmed a paternal estate1 called the ,heads1 near ,hamilton4 ,this estate he sold1 and rented the estate of ,elderslie1 once the habitation of ,sir ,william ,wallace4 ,there ,isabella passed her childhood and her youth4 ,she had no definite recollection of the period at which her heart first tasted that the ,lord is gracious4 ,as far back as she could remember1 she took delight in pouring out her soul to ,god4 ,in the woods of ,elderslie she selected a bush1 to which she resorted in seasons of devotion4 ,under this bush she believed she was enabled to devote herself to ,god1 through faith in her ,redeemer1 before she had entered on her tenth year4 ,to this favorite1 and to her1 sacred spot1 she would repair1 when exposed to temptation or perplexed with childish troubles4 ,from thence she caused her prayers to ascend1 and there she found peace and consolation4 ,children cannot at too early a period seek the favor of the ,god of heaven4 ,how blessed to be reared and fed by his hand1 taught by his ,spirit1 and strengthened by his grace4 ,the late ,rev4 ,dr4 ,witherspoon1 afterwards president of ,princeton college1 was at this time one of the ministers of the town of ,paisley4 ,isabella sat under his ministry1 and at the age of seventeen publicly professed her faith in ,christ4 ,in the year #agfe she was married to ,dr4 ,john ,graham1 then a practising physician in ,paisley1 a gentleman of liberal education and of respectable standing4 ,about a year after their marriage1 ,dr4 ,graham1 having been appointed surgeon to the #fjth or royal ,american regiment1 was ordered to ,canada1 where that corps was stationed4 ,mrs4 ,graham accompanied him1 and a plan was digested--with how limited a knowledge of the future will appear--for their permanent residence in ,america4 ,dr4 ,graham calculated on disposing of his commission1 and purchasing a tract of land on the ,mohawk river1 where his father-in-law1 ,mr4 ,marshall1 was to follow him4 ,the letter subjoined gives the interesting incidents of their voyage1 and forms a pleasant introduction to the character of ,mrs4 ,graham at this period of her life4 ,,quebec1 ,august #bi1 #agfg4 ,,my ,,dearest ,,parents--,this is the fifth letter ,i have written to you1 although ,i know it is the first that can reach you4 ,all the time ,i was at sea ,i kept a letter lying by me1 in hope of getting it put on board some vessel bound for ,britain2 but ,i have met with many disappointments4 ,we spoke several ships1 but ,i never could get a letter put on board4 ,at one time ,i was told the wind was too high1 at another that the ship was at too great a distance1 and so was put off till ,i began to understand a more substantial reason1 namely1 that it would cost the captain rather too much trouble4 ,we have now1 however1 got safe here1 after a tedious voyage of nine weeks1 and ,i will give you a short account of what happened during that time4 ,we sailed1 as you know1 from ,greenock1 ,june #aj4 ,for the first five or six days we had fine weather and fair winds1 and got quite clear of land2 after this1 we had nearly six weeks of most tempestuous weather1 and the wind1 except for about two days1 directly against us4 ,the gentlemen after some time began to be very impatient2 for my part ,i should not have cared although it had lasted twelve months4 ,i had left all that was dear to me behind1 except one dear friend1 that one was constantly with me1 and although the rest of the company in the ship was very agreeable1 yet ,i was the great object of his attention1 and his invention was ever on the stretch to find amusement for me4 ,it is not possible for me to say with what indulgent tenderness ,i was treated2 but though ,i love my husband even to extravagance1 yet my dear friends whom ,i left behind have a large share of my heart4 ,they dwell on my mind in the daytime2 and at night1 when sleep lays the body aside and leaves the soul at liberty1 she on the wings of imagination makes one skip over whole seas1 and is immediately with those dear friends whose absence she so much lamented during the day1 and in an imaginary body as truly enjoys you for the time as if really present with you4 ,the gentlemen on board soon found reason to be thankful for the preservation of life1 and got something very different to think of than fret at the contrary winds4 ,a leak sprung in the ship1 which alarmed them all so much that a consultation was held among them whether if any ship came near they should hail it and go on board wherever she was bound4 ,i was perfectly unconcerned about the whole matter1 not being aware of the danger1 which was kept secret from me till we came on shore4 ,i saw the men constantly pumping1 but thought it was what they were obliged to do in every ship4 ,after coming to land1 on examining the ship1 they found the leak to be so large that one might put his five fingers into it2 indeed1 it seemed next to a miracle that she kept above water2 but every day of our lives may convince us what dependent creatures we are4 ,while ,god's merciful providence protects us we are safe1 though in the midst of apparent danger2 should he withdraw that protection but for a moment1 inevitable evils surround us1 even when we think ourselves in perfect safety4 ,a proof of this we had in a most distressing event1 which took place about six weeks after we left ,greenock4 ,the wind was in our favor1 the day was fine1 and we were all amusing ourselves on deck in various ways1 when ,captain ,kerr1 who was standing close by us1 stumbling backwards1 fell overboard4 ,he got above water before the ship passed him1 and called to throw him a rope1 but alas1 no rope was at hand1 and before one was got the ship was out of his reach4 ,immediately they threw over a large hen-coop1 but1 poor man1 he could not swim1 so he soon disappeared4 ,the boats were put out with great expedition1 and in less than a quarter of an hour he was found4 ,you may believe no means were left unemployed to restore animation2 but alas1 the spirit had taken its final leave2 it was no longer an inhabitant of earth1 not the least signs of life appeared4 ,the day after1 being ,sunday1 his body was committed to the deep1 from whence it had been rescued the day before4 ,dr4 ,graham read in public the church of ,england burial service4 ,every one on board seemed much affected2 ,i cannot tell you how much ,i was4 ,about eight days after1 we got to the ,banks of ,newfoundland2 while there the fog was so dense we could not see forty yards in any direction1 and the cold was excessive1 notwithstanding the season of the year4 ,there were a great many islands of ice floating on the water2 ,i saw three within twenty yards of us1 much larger than the ship4 ,the captain said if the ship ran against any one of them1 she would be dashed to pieces4 ,and here1 again1 my former observation holds good1 for sure it could not be the art of man1 either in the dark night or in the dense fog1 which could protect the ship flying before the wind1 through dangers so thick on every side of us4 ,for several days and nights we saw neither sun nor stars1 which distressed the captain much1 for he knew not where we were1 and apprehending we were near land1 was afraid of running upon some rock2 so we were obliged to cruise about till the atmosphere cleared4 ,the sail up the river ,st4 ,lawrence is extremely pleasant4 ,you know how fond ,i have ever been of wood and water4 ,this country1 in this respect1 is quite to my taste1 and could ,i only get half a dozen of those friends ,i could name settled down on either side of us1 with five hundred pounds' worth of land to give to each1 ,i should ask no more in this world4 ,when we arrived1 the doctor's friend ,mr4 ,findley came on board1 took us on shore1 and brought us to his elegant mansion4 ,he begged we would look on him as an old friend1 feel perfectly at home1 and remain with him as long as we could4 ,give my love to my dear boys299 you see them often1 ,i have no doubt4 ,do1 my dearest mamma1 write me soon1 and tell me all about them and yourself2 and ever believe me1 my dear parents1 with the greatest affection1 99,dr4 ,graham's two sons by a former marriage1 who were left under the care of ,mr4 ,davidson1 rector of the grammar-school of ,paisley4 ,your dutiful daughter1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,in a letter a month1 later1 ,mrs4 ,graham refers to the gay and fashionable circles to which they were introduced in ,quebec1 and mentions her visiting the beautiful falls of ,montmorency2 but mourns over the low state of religion1 and the prevailing desecration of the ,sabbath4 ,she adds3 ,i have read ,doddridge's ,rise and ,progress4 ,i little knew what a treasure ,mr4 ,ellis put into my hand when he gave me that book4 ,i cannot say it is my daily companion1 but ,i can with truth say it is often so4 ,let my mind be in ever so giddy and thoughtless a frame1 or ever so much busied in those amusements ,i am engaged in1 it makes me serious1 and gives my thoughts a different turn2 there is scarce any situation the mind can be in1 but it will find something suitable there4 ,i must not1 however1 make remarks on the particular contents of it2 it would occupy more paper than ,i have to spare4 ,i would have you purchase the book2 ,i am sure you would like it2 and when you have read it1 it will be matter of great satisfaction to you that ,john and ,i have such a treasure in our possession4 ,in it are contained every advice you could give us1 and cautions against the temptations which1 on account of youth1 company1 and the country we are in1 we are exposed to4 ,they were expecting to spend the winter in ,quebec1 but were ordered to ,montreal1 where ,jessie1 her eldest daughter1 was born1 and where ,mrs4 ,graham received intelligence of the death of her infant son1 who had been left with her mother in ,scotland4 ,further orders were soon received for the doctor to join the second battalion of his regiment at fort ,niagara1 on lake ,ontario2 ,mrs4 ,graham followed him1 and they continued here in garrison for four years1 during which her second and third daughters1 ,joanna and ,isabella1 were added to her charge4 ,under date of ,february #c1 #agga1 we find1 from her own pen1 the following description of her occupations and enjoyments1 in a letter addressed to her beloved mother3 ,my two ,indian girls come on very well indeed4 ,the eldest milked the cows all summer2 she washes and irons all the clothes for the family1 scrubs the floors1 and does the most part of the kitchen work4 ,the young one's charge is the children1 and some other little turns when the infant is asleep4 ,i teach them to read and to sew when they have any spare time4 ,as for me1 ,i find ,i have enough to do to superintend4 ,you may be sure ,i help a little too1 now and then4 ,i make and mend what is necessary for the family1 for ,i must be tailor1 mantua-maker1 and milliner4 ,in the forenoon the doctor makes his rounds as usual4 ,i generally trot about till two o'clock1 dress the children1 order dinner1 dress myself1 and twenty other things1 which you know are necessary to be looked after by the mistress of a family4 ,after dinner ,i sit down to my work1 and we have always a book1 which the doctor reads when ,i can attend2 when ,i cannot1 he reads something else4 ,as ,i am at present the only wife in the place1 we have a regular tea-table1 and now and then a little frugal supper2 for the doctor has come more into my way of thinking1 and does not insist upon cutting a figure as much as some time ago4 ,when alone1 he reads and ,i work1 as usual4 ,he is seldom out1 and never but when ,i am with him4 ,we are easy in our circumstances1 and want for nothing that is necessary2 in short1 my ever dear parents1 my life is easy and pleasant4 ,the ,lord my ,god make it pious and useful4 ,could ,i place myself and family in the same circumstances1 and every thing go on in the same manner1 within a few miles of you1 ,i should be happy for life2 and were it not for this hope1 which my heart is set upon1 ,i could not be so1 with all ,i have told you4 ,we find the newspapers full of preparations for war2 may the ,lord dispose all hearts to peace1 for ,i hate the sound1 though it is the wish of the greatest number about me4 ,there is no prospect of our leaving this place for a year yet4 ,for my part ,i have only two reasons for wishing it4 ,the first is1 ,i should like to be in some ,christian society2 the other1 that ,i might do something towards getting home4 ,to return to the gay world1 again ,i have no ambition4 ,my family here1 and my friends at home1 engross all my attention2 and when ,i see the one1 and hear of the other being well1 ,i am happy4 ,time never hangs heavy on my hand2 ,i can always find employment1 and amusement too1 without the assistance of what go under the name of diversions4 ,we have lately had several visits from a great family4 ,the chief of the ,seneca nation having a daughter not well1 brought her to the doctor to see what could be done for her2 he1 his squaw or lady1 and daughters breakfasted with us several times4 ,i was kind1 and made all the court to them ,i could1 though we could not converse but by an interpreter4 ,i made the daughters some little presents1 and the doctor would not be feed4 ,who knows but these little services may one day save our scalps8 ,there have been several threatenings of an ,indian war2 thank ,god1 it seems to be quite hushed again4 ,war with civilized nations is nothing to war with ,indians4 ,they have no mercy1 nor give any quarter to man1 woman1 or child3 all meet the same fate1 except where they take a liking to particular persons2 those they adopt as their children1 and use them as such4 ,the doctor joins in affectionate respects to my dear father1 and you1 the boys1 and all our dear friends4 ,i am as much as ever1 and will be to my latest breath1 my dear mamma1 your affectionate daughter1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,mrs4 ,graham always considered the time she passed at ,niagara as the happiest of her days1 considered in a temporal view4 ,the officers of the regiment were amiable men1 attached to each other1 and the ladies were united in the ties of friendship4 ,the society there1 secluded from the world1 exempt from the collision of individual and separate interests1 which often create so much discord in large communities1 and studious to promote the happiness of each other1 enjoyed that tranquillity and contentment which ever accompany a disinterested interchange of friendly offices4 ,but this fort being detached from other settlements1 the garrison were deprived of ordinances and the public means of grace1 and the life of religion in the soul of ,mrs4 ,graham sunk to a low ebb4 ,a conscientious observance of the ,sabbath1 which throughout life she maintained1 proved to her at ,niagara as a remembrance and revival of devotional exercises4 ,she wandered on those sacred days into the woods around ,niagara1 searched her ,bible1 communed with ,god and herself1 and poured out her soul in prayer to her covenant ,lord4 ,throughout the week1 the attentions to her friends1 her domestic comfort and employments1 and the amusements pursued in the garrison1 she used to confess1 occupied too much of her time and of her affections4 ,here we behold a little society enjoying much comfort and happiness in each other1 yet falling short of that preminent duty and superior blessedness of glorifying1 as they ought to have done1 the ,god of heaven1 who fed them by his bounty1 and offered them a full and free salvation in the gospel of his ,son4 ,no enjoyments nor possessions1 however ample and acceptable1 can crown the soul with peace and true felicity1 unless accompanied with the fear and favor of ,him who can speak pardon to the transgressor1 and shed abroad his love in the hearts of his children2 thus giving an earnest of spiritual and eternal blessedness along with temporal good4 ,the commencement of the revolutionary struggle in ,america rendered it necessary1 in the estimation of the ,british government1 to order to another and very diverse scene of action the sixtieth regiment1 composed in a great measure of ,americans4 ,their destination was the island of ,antigua3 ,dr4 and ,mrs4 ,graham and their family1 consisting of three infant daughters and two young ,indian girls1 sailed from ,niagara to ,oswego1 and from thence1 by a path through the woods1 reached the ,mohawk1 which river they descended in batteaux to ,schenectady4 ,here ,dr4 ,graham left his family1 and went to ,new ,york to complete a negotiation he had entered into for disposing of his commission1 to enable him to settle1 as he originally intended1 on a tract of land which it was in his power to purchase on the banks of the river they had just descended4 ,the gentleman proposing to purchase his commission1 not being able to perfect the arrangement in time1 ,dr4 ,graham found himself under the necessity of proceeding to ,antigua with the regiment4 ,mrs4 ,graham on learning this1 hurried down with her family to accompany him1 although he had left it optional with her to remain till he should have ascertained the nature of the climate1 and the probability of his continuing in the ,west ,indies4 ,at ,new ,york they were treated with much kindness by the late ,rev4 ,dr4 ,john ,rodgers and others1 especially by the family of ,mr4 ,vanbrugh ,livingston4 ,with ,mr4 ,livingston's daughter1 the wife of ,major ,brown1 of the sixtieth regiment1 ,mrs4 ,graham formed a very intimate friendship1 which continued during the life of ,mrs4 ,brown4 ,they embarked with the regiment1 ,november #e1 #aggb1 for ,antigua4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,residence ,,at ,,antigua--,,dr4 ,,graham',s ,,death4 ,within three weeks after their arrival at ,antigua1 six companies were ordered to the island of ,st4 ,vincents to quell an insurrection of the ,caribs4 ,the doctor accompanied them1 and ,mrs4 ,graham was called to the pain of separation under circumstances more trying than she had as yet experienced1 as the war with savages might expose him to the most cruel death4 ,in these circumstances she wrote him as follows3 ,,antigua1 ,january #af1 #aggc4 ,,my ,,dearest ,,doctor--,this goes by ,mr4 ,w----1 who sails to-morrow2 also a letter to ,captain ,g----4 ,mr4 ,m---- begs to be remembered to you2 he has been foot and hand to me since you left4 ,my dearest doctor1 suffer me to put you in remembrance of what you put in the end of your trunk the morning you left me199 and let it not lie idle4 ,read it as the voice of ,god to your soul4 ,my dearest love1 ,i have been greatly distressed for fear of your dear life2 but the love ,i bear to your soul is as superior to that of your body1 as the value of one surpasses the other2 consequently my anxiety for its interest is proportioned4 ,may heaven preserve my dearest love--lead you1 guide you1 direct you1 so can you never go wrong--protect and defend you1 so shall you ever be safe1 is the daily prayer of your affectionate wife1 99,doddridge's ,rise and ,progress of ,religion in the ,soul4 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,p4,s4 ,i am told that you have taken a number of prisoners4 ,i know not if you have any right to entail slavery on these poor creatures4 ,if any fall to your share1 do set them at liberty4 ,on the #hth of ,june1 ,mrs4 ,graham wrote to her mother1 expressing her gratitude for her husband's safe return1 and noticing some gratifying indications of the calm and peaceful state of his mind3 ,you would be surprised to hear the doctor preach4 ,he says we ought to be thankful2 we have hitherto been richly and bountifully provided for2 we ought not to repine1 nor doubt1 seeing we have the same ,providence to depend upon2 that we ought not to set our hearts upon any thing in this world2 being very short-sighted1 we cannot know what is proper for us4 ,having done for the best1 when we are disappointed1 we ought to rest satisfied that either what we wish is not for our good1 or it will in some future dispensation of ,providence be brought about another way and in a fitter time4 ,indeed1 my dear mamma1 in some things he is a better ,christian than ,i am4 ,may ,god make him so in every thing4 ,thus was the ,lord preparing his servant for what was so soon to follow--not his dismission from the regiment1 which he so ardently desired1 but from this world and its temptations and snares4 ,mrs4 ,graham's prayers were answered1 but by terrible things in righteousness4 ,she added a request that her mother would receive her eldest daughter1 who1 though at the early age of five years1 she feared would receive injurious influences from the corrupt state of society around her1 and accordingly1 not long after1 sent her to ,scotland2 but before her arrival1 her grandmother had been called to a better world4 ,in reference to this event ,mrs4 ,graham wrote to her bereaved father as follows3 ,,antigua1 ,august #ba1 #aggc4 ,,my ,,dearest ,,papa--,the heart-rending tidings of my dear1 my tender1 my affectionate mother's death reached me yesterday4 ,i am so distressed that ,i can scarcely write1 and no wonder1 for never was there such a mother4 ,my loss is indeed great2 but ,o1 my dear1 my afflicted father1 how my heart bleeds for you4 ,father of mercies1 support my aged parent1 and enable him to place his hopes of happiness beyond this transitory world1 and to follow the footsteps of the dear departed saint till he joins her in glory1 never1 never more to be separated4 ,my dearest father1 we may indeed mourn for ourselves2 but she is happy--that is beyond all doubt4 ,her delight was with ,god while she was here2 her closet was a ,bethel2 her ,bible was her heart's treasure1 and ,his people were her loved companions4 ,she has now joined the innumerable company above1 where she continues the same services without human frailty1 and the enjoyment heightened beyond our highest conceptions4 ,o then1 my dear father1 be comforted2 let us now try to follow her2 let her ,saviour now be ours1 and then shall we be blest with like consolations4 ,my dearest father1 ,i cannot tell you how much ,i feel for you2 my tears will not allow me1 they flow so fast that ,i cannot write2 what would ,i give to be with you4 ,but these are vain words4 ,the doctor1 however1 fully expects that next summer will bring him leave to go home2 then1 ,i trust1 we shall be in some fixed place of abode1 and1 my dear papa1 you will come and live with us4 ,i shall feel it to be a privilege beyond what ,i can tell1 to perform every service you stand in need of1 soothe your pains and comfort you under the infirmities of old age4 ,my dear1 my worthy brother--how has that tender letter1 and the noble resolution he has taken1 endeared him to me4 ,it is certainly his indispensable duty to stay with you in your present solitary situation2 such a dutiful1 affectionate son must be a great comfort to you1 and he will not lose his reward4 ,i am anxious1 my dearest father1 to know the particulars of my mother's death3 who attended her in her illness8 was the nurse who was with her a good woman8 was she sensible8 did she expect death8 and did she mention me1 and leave me her blessing8 ,my dear1 dear father1 tell me all4 ,farewell1 my beloved father2 may your ,god and ,redeemer be your support and final portion1 is the prayer of your affectionate daughter1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,in her grief for the loss of her inestimable mother1 ,dr4 ,graham had said to her that ,god might perhaps call her to a severer trial by taking her husband also1 and the warning appeared prophetic2 but her own words best describe the emotions of her bleeding heart4 ,to ,miss ,margaret ,graham1 ,glasgow4 ,,my ,,dear ,,sister--,prepare yourself for a severe shock from an event that has robbed me of every earthly joy4 ,your amiable brother is no longer an inhabitant of this lower world4 ,on the seventeenth of ,november he was seized with a putrid fever1 which1 on the twenty-second1 numbered him with the dead1 and left me a thing not to be envied by the most abject beggar that crawls from door to door4 ,expect not consolation from me3 ,i neither can give nor take it4 ,but why say ,i so8 ,yes1 ,i can4 ,he died as a ,christian1 sensible to the last1 and in full expectation of his approaching end4 ,o1 you knew not your brother's worth2 you knew him not as a husband3 he was not the same as when you knew him in his giddy years3 he was to me all love1 all affection1 and partial to my every fault2 prudent too in providing for his family4 ,i had gained such an entire ascendency over his heart as ,i would not have given for the crown of ,britain4 ,on ,wednesday1 at one o'clock1 the seventeenth day of ,november1 #aggc1 my dear doctor was seized with a violent fever4 ,i sent for his assistant1 ,dr4 ,bowie3 he not being at home1 ,dr4 ,muir came1 who prescribed an emetic in the evening1 and his fever having greatly abated1 it was accordingly given4 ,in the morning ,dr4 ,bowie thought him so well ,i did not ask for any other assistance4 ,at ten o'clock his fever greatly increased1 though not so violent as it had been the day before4 ,he was advised to lose a little blood1 which he did2 and towards evening it again abated4 ,i found he was not quite satisfied with what had been done for him2 at the same time he would do nothing for himself4 ,thursday evening ,i begged ,dr4 ,bowie to call in ,dr4 ,warner's assistance1 notwithstanding he assured me there was not one dangerous symptom4 ,friday morning they both attended1 and both pronounced him in a fair way of recovery4 ,about three o'clock ,dr4 ,eird came1 who seemed surprised the thing had not been done which ,dr4 ,graham himself had been dissatisfied for the want of the day before4 ,soon after the medicine was sent2 but ,o1 my dear doctor said it was then too late4 ,in the evening they all again attended1 and insisted there was no danger4 ,saturday morning he seemed very easy1 and the physicians said he was in a fine way4 ,the fever was gone2 the decoction of bark prescribed2 and they said he would be able to-morrow to take it in substance4 ,i was not now the least apprehensive of danger1 and was very earnest in prayer that the ,lord would sanctify his affliction1 and not suffer it to go off without leaving a sensible effect on his mind4 ,nay1 ,i even said in my heart1 'the rod is too soon removed1 it will do him no good4' ,oh1 that fools will still persist to prescribe to infinite wisdom and goodness4 ,i was soon severely punished4 ,about eleven he took the hiccup4 ,i did not like it1 but little knew it was so dangerous a symptom as ,i afterwards understood4 ,i sent for ,dr4 ,bowie1 who assured me that though it was a disagreeable symptom with other attendants1 in his case it was of no more consequence than if he or ,i were to take it4 ,all that day it was so moderate that a mouthful of any liquid stopped it1 though it always returned again3 he often said it would be his death2 but ,i imagined the pain it gave him extorted these words from him rather than a sense of danger1 and was much pleased to hear him often pray that the ,lord would give him patience and resignation to his blessed will1 and still more to observe that he bore it with a patience beyond what was natural to him4 ,he was of a quick temper1 and being of a healthy constitution1 was but little accustomed to pain2 but1 during the whole of his severe and trying affliction1 ,i do not remember to have heard a murmuring word escape his lips2 so that ,i cannot doubt but his prayers were heard1 and the grace prayed for bestowed4 ,in the evening the hiccup increased1 and all that night it was very severe1 so that he could not bear to be any way disturbed1 nor could ,i possibly prevail upon him to take his medicine1 from two in the morning until ten o'clock1 when the physicians again attended and persuaded him to comply4 ,this was ,sunday4 ,about mid-day ,dr4 ,warner sent some old hock1 with orders that he should take some in his drink1 and now and then a little plain4 ,when the wine was brought in and put on the table1 he asked me what it was4 ,i told him4 ,he said1 ',yes1 they are now come to the last shift4' ,mr4 ,frank ,gilbert1 a good man1 and1 ,i believe1 a real ,christian1 having come to town to preach--for he is a ,methodist minister--sent a note1 kindly inquiring after him1 and intimating1 if it would be agreeable to him1 he would visit him in the morning4 ,he said1 by all means1 he should be very glad to see him4 ,i said1 ',my love1 you know ,i have great faith in the prayers of ,god's people2 suppose you should beg an interest in them this afternoon8' ,he answered1 ',my dear1 do you think they will forget me8' ,i said1 ',i hope1 my love1 you are not ashamed to desire the prayers of the people of ,god2 it is not now a time to mind the ridicule of the world4' ,he said1 ',no1 ,bell1 ,i care not a farthing for the whole world1 and you may make it my own request4' ,his disorder gained ground very fast that day1 and ,i began to be much alarmed2 yet still ,i thought it would not end in death1 but though severe and dangerous1 was sent in answer to my repeated1 earnest prayers to awaken in him a real concern about his eternal interest1 to set the world and its vanities in their true light1 and bring about that entire change of heart which our blessed ,lord styles the new birth1 and without which1 he says1 we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven4 ,it was now become very difficult for him to speak2 but by the motion of his hands and eyes1 which were continually lifted up when he had the smallest respite1 ,i could easily see his thoughts were fixed on the importance of his situation2 besides1 many sentences and half sentences broke from his lips at different times1 which left me without a doubt4 ',farewell1' said he1 'vain world2 an idle world it is1 nothing but shadows1 and we keep chasing them as children do bubbles of water1 till they break1 and we find them nothing but air4' ,observing this inward recollection1 ,i seldom disturbed him4 ,he was perfectly acquainted with the truth1 and believed it4 ,the doctrines of religion were often the subject of our conversation1 and in every point of faith we entirely agreed3 they only wanted to be felt and applied to the heart4 ,i remained in silence to my dear husband1 but not to my ,god3 ,i was incessant in prayer1 begging and beseeching that the ,lord himself would carry on what he had so graciously begun--that he would every way suit himself to his necessities1 and give conviction or consolation1 as he saw needful2 but when he spoke ,i endeavored to answer him from ,god's own word1 as ,i was able or assisted4 ,once he exclaimed1 ',draw me1 and ,i will run after thee2' at another time1 ',surely thou wilt not allow thy blessed ,son to plead in vain for me1 an obstinate sinner4' ,this was a degree of faith1 and ,i endeavored to strengthen it4 ,i said1 ',my love1 you know the way to the ,father1 through ,christ1 the only ,mediator4 ,you say right1 he cannot plead in vain2 fly to him2 cast yourself at his feet2 trust in him2 hear his own invitation1 ',come unto me1 all ye that labor and are heavy laden1 and ,i will give you rest2' 'him that cometh unto me ,i will in no wise cast out4' ,at another time these words broke from his lips1 ',form me1 train me1 prepare me for thyself4' ,here was a breathing after sanctification2 might not the promise be applied1 ',i will create a clean heart1 and renew a right spirit within thee4' ,in the evening the physicians again attended1 but could hardly get a word from him4 ,while they sat by the bedside ,i went out to the gallery with ,mrs4 ,grandidier2 the apparent struggle she had to conceal her distress1 the compassion and sympathy in her countenance struck me4 ,i easily perceived she gave up hope1 and1 ,i began to suspect1 not from her own judgment alone2 she advised me to send away my children to a friend's house1 and to send for a person who was capable of assisting me1 it being no longer proper for me to be alone4 ,thus far ,i had not allowed any person to do the least thing about him but myself1 nor stirred from his bedside1 except for a few minutes1 to pour out my soul into the bosom of my ,god4 ,i hardly1 if ever1 prayed for his recovery1 being willing the rod should remain till it effected the purpose for which it was sent1 and then ,i believed it would be removed--as if the ,lord was to follow exactly the rules prescribed by my weak1 foolish1 ignorant heart4 ,hitherto ,i had suffered little1 believing all to be the answer to my prayers2 but ,i had not seriously thought of parting with him4 ,i was now truly alarmed1 and determined to know1 as far as appearances went1 the worst4 ,accordingly ,i stopped ,dr4 ,bowie on the gallery3 ',tell me1 doctor1' said ,i1 'what have ,i to expect8 ,it is cruel to flatter me3 if you give me some warning1 and prepare me1 ,i may perhaps be able to support it2 but if you suffer it to come upon me all at once1 ,i shall certainly sink under the shock4' ,he was silent for some time1 and then replied1 ',i am really at a loss how to answer you4' ,i said1 ',i will answer for you1 there is no hope4' ,he said1 ',god forbid--he is in great danger2 but still there is hope2 and if you value his life1 be calm4' ,i was composed4 ,strange composure2 ,i neither cried nor complained2 tears were denied a passage2 ,i was fixed and dumb like a statue4 ,can ,i1 or any one else1 describe my situation1 or what ,i felt at that moment8 ,it was urged of what consequence it was that ,i should be composed1 that ,i might be able to do my duty to him1 as no one could supply my place to his satisfaction1 and perhaps even now he might be in want of me4 ,i returned to my post1 which was1 except when doing some necessary office about him1 generally on my knees by his bedside1 partly that ,i might not lose the least whisper that came from his lips1 and partly because it is my favorite posture for prayer1 from which ,i could not cease1 no1 not for one minute4 ,there were different medicines prescribed for that night1 some in case that others proved too strong for his stomach1 others in case of the increase of the hiccup4 ,i found my head confused and my memory incapable of retaining the variety of directions given4 ,i therefore accepted of the offer of a friend of his to sit up with us that night1 whom ,i begged to pay particular attention to the directions1 and to watch the proper times the medicines were to be given4 ,this he did with great care1 and my dear doctor was very pliable in taking them as they were offered4 ,as for me ,i was so deeply engaged with the concerns of his soul1 ,i was unfit for any thing else4 ,after ,dr4 ,bowie let me know the danger he was in1 ,i sent a letter to ,mr4 ,gilbert1 begging he would not delay his visit till morning1 as perhaps by that time he might not be able to speak to him4 ,accordingly he came2 he asked him how he did2 he answered1 ',very ill2' he asked him the situation of his mind2 he answered1 ',entirely resigned to the divine will2' he asked him what hopes he had2 he said1 'his hope was in the mercy of ,god1 through ,christ2' ,mr4 ,gilbert said1 ',you have no dependence on any thing besides8' he said1 ',no1 no1 ,i have nothing else to depend upon4' ,then the doctor desired him to pray1 but at the same time to be short1 as he had but short intervals from the hiccup4 ,after prayer1 ,mr4 ,gilbert told me it seemed difficult for him to speak1 and he did not think it would be prudent to say more2 that he would call again in the morning4 ,monday morning he was greatly weakened1 having had little rest all night from the severity of the hiccup4 ,at ten o'clock the physicians again attended2 but ,i could easily perceive they had but small hopes4 ,my doctor asked ,dr4 ,warner if he thought it would be long before he would be at rest1 who said his pulse was still strong4 ,he said1 ',it is a hard thing to die6 ,mrs4 ,brannan came to spend the day with us1 one of the ,methodist society1 and ,mr4 ,mc,nab1 whom my doctor desired to pray with him1 which he did4 ,all this day he said little1 but still continued in inward prayer1 as was visible by the motions of his hands and eyes2 he had many agonizing struggles1 and often exclaimed1 ',lord ,jesus1 receive my spirit4' ',blessed ,jesus1 come and receive me to thyself--come--come--blessed ,jesus1 come6' ,once1 after a long struggle1 he exclaimed1 ',release me1 ,o release me1 and let me fly to the bosom of my ,father6' ,all this time ,i never parted from his bedside but a few minutes to give my soul a freer vent at the throne of grace4 ,i never prayed for life1 but that he might be washed1 sanctified1 and have all ,god's salvation completed in his soul1 and be received into the arms of his mercy4 ,i also had been1 and still was1 very importunate that ,god would give me some token1 some assurance that he would save his soul1 and give him an abundant entrance into the kingdom of his glory2 and1 by all that ,i had heard1 seen1 and felt1 ,i was now satisfied that the most merciful ,god had sealed his pardon for ,jesus' sake2 and ,i found myself ready1 dearly as ,i loved him1 to resign him into the hands of divine mercy2 but still ,i breathed after some further manifestation4 ,in the evening ,dr4 ,galloway1 an old acquaintance1 arrived from the island of ,dominico1 and hearing of his friend's illness1 came immediately to visit him4 ,when my doctor heard his voice only whisper how he was1 he said1 ',i hear ,galloway's voice1' and stretched out his hand2 so fully had he his senses to the last4 ,upon their feeling his pulse1 he asked if they thought he would be long in dying4 ,dr4 ,eird replied1 ',you must not talk of dying1 but of living2 you are stronger than when ,i was here this morning1 and ,i have seen many worse recover4 ,do1 do be advised1 take your medicine1 and try for life4' ,these words brought a gleam of hope to my despairing soul1 and what had been denied me for twenty-four hours1 a flood of tears1 and ,i was greatly relieved4 ,i went out to the gallery and gave a free vent to my bursting heart4 ,i now also begged the ,lord for his life1 and said in my heart1 should he now be restored1 how doubly blessed would he be1 healed in soul and body4 ,i returned to his bedside and thus addressed my beloved3 ',my dearest life1 the doctors still have hopes1 and we know nothing is impossible with ,god4 ,who knows what further service he may have for you in this world2 or whether he may not give you to my prayers1 and restore you to your ,bell and family8 ,god works by means2 ,o be persuaded to take every thing prescribed1 and pray to ,god for the blessing2 devote your future life to his service1 and1 for poor ,bell's sake1 offer up a petition for life4' ,he did not interrupt me1 but answered1 ',disengage yourself1 ,bell1 disengage yourself from me4 ,i want to lift up my soul to ,god1 and bless him for ,jesus ,christ4' ,dr4 ,galloway was determined to stay with him all night1 and see him take his medicine4 ,some time after1 he had a severe attack of hiccup1 and said to ,dr4 ,galloway1 ',i hope you are now convinced4' ,he said1 ',of what8' ,my doctor said1 ',that dissolution is near4' ,a little after1 he said1 ',who died for all8' and again repeated1 ',who died for all8' ,i was forbid to speak to him1 as rest was so much wanted1 so ,i answered1 ',christ1 my love2 but give up your soul to ,god1 and try to shut your weary eyes1 and get a little rest for your body2' and so he did1 and got a little sleep4 ,all that night he did every thing he was desired1 but would drink nothing but cold water1 which had been allowed him2 the wine he would not touch4 ,his disorder increased so fast that ,dr4 ,galloway1 about five in the morning1 said to me1 ',i may go home--,i can be of no service1 and ,i cannot stand it4' ,i said1 ',i suppose ,i need not disturb him any more with medicine4' ,he said1 ',no1 you may give him what he calls for4' ,now1 my ,god1 all is over2 ,i resign him up to thee4 ,only one parting word--something yet ,i require1 to assure my heart that thou wilt receive his soul4 ,some time after he laid his hand upon ,mrs4 ,brannan's lap and made a sign to her2 afterwards he made a sign to me1 who was at the back of the bed1 to come round4 ,mrs4 ,brannan thought he wanted her to retire1 which she did4 ,he looked after her4 ,i said1 ',my love1 she thinks you want to say something to me2 can you speak8' ,he said1 ',join--pray1' which we did4 ,he spoke no more for some time1 only1 ',come1 sweet ,jesus1' and frequently1 ',receive my spirit4' ,these words were given for my sake4 ,i cried1 ',i am satisfied1 ,lord1 and ,i yield him up to thee with all my heart2 thou hast given me all my asking4 ,i will not be longer faithless1 but believing4 ,continue to support his departing soul1 and let the enemy find nothing in him4' ,the next attack of hiccup laid him back speechless1 and ,i believe senseless in the last parting work3 he had no further struggle1 nor need of any person to support him4 ,i therefore again placed myself on my knees by his bedside1 determined not to quit the posture till his soul had entered its rest2 but nature was worn out1 and though ,i swallowed hartshorn and water in great quantities1 ,i was so overcome that ,i was obliged to lie down at the back of the bed to save me from fainting4 ,three hours did he continue in this last work of the heart4 ,i watched his last1 and delivered him up with a hearty prayer and a full assurance2 but ,o1 how earnestly ,i wished to go with him6 ,i was1 for the time1 entirely insensible to my own loss3 my soul pursued him into the invisible world1 and for the time cordially rejoiced with the ,spirit4 ,i thought ,i saw the angel band ready to receive him1 among whom stood my dear mother1 the first to bid him welcome to the regions of bliss4 ,i was then desired to leave the room1 which ,i did1 saying1 ',my doctor is gone4 ,i have accompanied him to the gates of heaven3 he is safely landed2 that is now not him that lies there4 ,you1 nurse1 will see it decently dressed2 then ,i may again be permitted to take another parting kiss4' ,so1 embracing the precious clay1 ,i went into the parlor4 ,some friends came in to see me4 ,my composure they could not account for3 our sincere and tender regard for each other was too well known to allow them to impute it to indifference4 ,my distress at parting with him1 even for a couple of months1 when he went to ,st4 ,vincent1 and dejection of spirit the whole time till his return1 left them as little room to impute it to want of sensibility3 at last they imagined that ,i was stupefied with grief and fatigue2 but they little knew that at that hour ,i rejoiced2 indeed ,i told them1 but ,i suppose was not believed4 ,i was asked if ,i had any thing particular to say respecting the funeral4 ,i said1 ',nothing--my charge is gone to rest2 ,i would leave it to them4' ,it was then proposed to bury next day at ten o'clock4 ,i said that was very early2 they answered1 by that time ,i would be satisfied it was not too early4 ,in the evening ,i returned to our bed-chamber to take a last farewell of the dear remains4 ,the countenance was so very pleasant ,i thought there was even something heavenly1 and could not help saying1 ',you smile upon me1 my love2 surely the delightful prospect opening on the parting soul left that benign smile on its companion the body4' ,i thought ,i could have stood and gazed for ever2 but for fear of relapsing into immoderate grief1 ,i withdrew after a parting embrace1 and with an intention not to ask for another1 lest a change in his countenance might shake my peace2 for ,oh1 we are weak1 and at certain times not subject to reason4 ,i went to bed purely to get alone1 for ,i had little expectation of sleep2 but ,i was mistaken2 nature was fairly overcome with watching and fatigue4 ,i dropped asleep1 and for a few hours forgot my woes2 but ,oh2 the pangs ,i felt on my first awaking4 ,i could not for some time believe it true that ,i was indeed a widow1 and that ,i had lost my heart's treasure--my all ,i held dear on earth4 ,it was long before day4 ,i was in no danger of closing my eyes again1 for ,i was at that time abandoned to despair1 till recollection and the same considerations which at first supported me brought me a little to myself4 ,i considered1 ,i wept for one that wept no more2 that all my fears for his eternal happiness were now over1 and he beyond the reach of being lost2 neither was he lost to me1 but added to my heavenly treasure1 more securely mine than ever4 ,those snares and temptations arising from the corrupt customs of a degenerate age1 which had so often caused my fears1 could never reach him there4 ,the better1 dearer half of myself was now secure beyond the possibility of falling1 and waiting my arrival to complete his bliss4 ,o happy hour1 which shall also set my soul at liberty1 and unite us1 never to part more4 ,in the morning ,i asked the nurse if there was any alteration2 she said1 no4 ,i again returned to take another view1 and was surprised to find his color and countenance unchanged4 ,i began to be extremely uneasy at having consented to so early a burial4 ,i returned again1 and again2 ,o1 how ,i wished to have kept him for ever4 ,ten o'clock came2 the company assembled2 ,i became very uneasy2 at last ,i discovered it to ,dr4 ,bowie1 begged he would only view him2 how fresh the color--how every way like life4 ,he assured me there was not the smallest doubt but that he was gone4 ,i was not satisfied with this1 but made them all inspect him4 ,all agreed in the same thing1 and ,i was obliged to yield1 and the dear remains were ravished from my sight4 ,what a night ,i passed the night after the funeral6 ,i had ordered our own bed to be made up1 and at the usual time retired2 but in vain did ,i try to sleep2 the moment my senses began to lose sensibility1 ,i was in a kind of dream4 ,finding myself alone1 ,i imagined he was out at supper1 though he seldom was without me2 now ,i thought ,i heard his foot on the stairs1 and started up to listen if it were he1 and to bid him welcome1 when my roused senses told me what ,i could still hardly credit1 that ,i had no husband to expect1 and threw me into a fresh agony1 which kept me awake till ,i had in some measure again reconciled myself to my solitary situation4 ,but having only slept a few hours since my dear doctor was taken ill1 ,i no sooner got my mind a little composed1 than sleep again began to overpower my senses1 when the same1 or a similar imagination roused me4 ,the morning came4 ,when ,i was called down to breakfast1 the sight of his empty seat distracted me4 ,i returned to my room1 though ,i thought it my duty to take some nourishment4 ,i had it brought to me4 ,alas1 ,i could nowhere turn my eyes but the sight was connected with this dear idea1 and recalled past delights1 never more to return4 ,our back windows looked into the garden1 on which he had bestowed so much labor and pains1 and which he was just bringing to perfection4 ,here we had spent many pleasant hours together1 and indulged that freedom of conversation1 the natural consequence of an unbounded confidence4 ,the double arbor he had reared1 and so contrived as to screen from both the south and the western sun1 bid fair1 in a short time1 to screen us also from every eye4 ,hitherto we had been confined to morning hours1 or afternoon1 when it was shaded by the house2 but had often pleased ourselves with the hours we should spend in this cool retreat1 even at noonday1 while1 screened from the sun's scorching rays1 we might enjoy the refreshing breeze through its leafy openings2 but these delightful prospects were now for ever at an end4 ,i might1 indeed1 there take my seat2 but the tongue which everywhere charmed1 was buried in deepest silence4 ,the company which rendered every scene pleasant was gone1 never to return3 his sheep1 his goats1 nay1 even the poultry1 were often fed from his hand3 every thing served to distract4 ,as for my children1 they were by kind friends kept for some time out of my sight2 for not only to view them fatherless distressed me1 but their thoughtless mirth and play was altogether insupportable4 ,i accepted an invitation from ,mr4 ,gilbert's family to spend some time in the country with them2 for though it was impossible for me to forget for one moment1 yet1 when these objects were removed from my sight1 ,i was more able to turn my thoughts upward1 to where my heart's treasure now is1 and where ,i myself expect to be4 ,we had two men-servants1 and my two ,indian girls2 one of the men ,i dismissed1 the other ,i left to take care of the living creatures about the place4 ,one of my girls ,i boarded where she would be in good company1 and with my children and their maid ,i abandoned my solitary dwelling4 ,i met with a very tender reception from that worthy family4 ,my situation here was such as ,i both expected and wished1 and attended with many outward circumstances which had the probability of making it supportable4 ,i was allowed to be as much by myself as ,i chose4 ,no one intruded on my privacy without my consent2 but one or other of the ,mrs4 ,gilberts often visited me in my own room1 and drew from my bursting heart all its griefs1 sympathizing1 soothing1 and advising at the same time4 ,they are both women of great piety1 having for many years devoted their hearts1 time1 talents1 and fortune to the service of ,god2 and their two husbands likewise1 whose business it has been to instruct the ignorant negroes without fee or reward4 ,had it not been for this family1 ,i know not where the distraction of my mind might have ended4 99 99 99 99 ,thus was ,mrs4 ,graham1 at the early age of thirty-one1 left a widow in a land of strangers4 ,her husband1 companion1 protector1 was gone3 a man of superior mind1 great taste1 warm affection1 and domestic habits4 ,she was left with three daughters1 the eldest of whom was not over five years of age1 and expecting an increase of her infant charge4 ,of temporal property she possessed very little3 she was at a distance from her father's house3 the widow and the fatherless were in a foreign land4 ,the change in her circumstances was as sudden as it was great4 ,that sympathizing heart with which she was accustomed to receive and return the confidence of unbounded friendship1 and thus1 by reciprocal communion1 to alleviate the trials and enrich the enjoyments of life1 was chilled in death4 ,all the pleasing plans1 all the cherished prospects of future settlement in life were cut off in a moment4 ,while sinking into a softened indifference to the world1 in the contemplation of her severe loss1 she was1 on the other hand1 roused into exertion for the sustenance and support of her young family1 whose earthly dependence was now necessarily upon her4 ,not satisfied with the custom of the island1 in burying so soon after life is extinct1 her uneasiness became so great that her friends judged it prudent to have her husband's grave opened1 to convince her that no symptoms of returning life had been exhibited there4 ,the fidelity of her heart was now as strongly marked as her tenderness4 ,she dressed herself in the habiliments of a widow1 and determined never to lay them aside4 ,this she strictly adhered to1 and rejected every overture afterwards made to her of again entering into the married state4 ,she breathed the feelings of her heart in a little poem1 in which she dedicated herself to her ,god as a widow indeed4 ,on examining into the state of her husband's affairs1 she discovered that there remained not quite two hundred pounds sterling in his agent's hands4 ,these circumstances afforded an opportunity for the display of the purity of ,mrs4 ,graham's principles1 and her rigid adherence to the commandments of her ,god in every situation4 ,it was proposed to her1 and urged with much argument1 to sell the two ,indian girls1 her late husband's property2 but no considerations of interest or necessity could prevail upon her thus to dispose of immortal beings1 the work of her heavenly ,father's hand4 ,one of these girls accompanied her to ,scotland1 where she was married2 and the other died in ,antigua1 leaving an affectionate testimony to the kindness of her dear master and mistress4 ,the surgeon's mate of the regiment was a young man whom ,dr4 ,graham had early taken under his patronage4 ,the kindness of his patron had so far favored him with a medical education1 that he was enabled to succeed him as surgeon to the regiment4 ,notwithstanding the slender finances of ,mrs4 ,graham1 feeling for the situation of ,dr4 ,h----1 she presented to him her husband's medical library and his sword3 a rare instance of disinterested regard for the welfare of another4 ,this was an effort towards observing the second table of the law1 in doing which she was actuated likewise by that principle which flows from keeping the first table also4 ,nor was the friendship of ,dr4 and ,mrs4 ,graham misplaced4 ,the seeds of gratitude were sown in an upright heart4 ,dr4 ,h----1 from year to year1 manifested his sense of obligation1 by remitting to the widow such sums of money as he could afford4 ,this was a reciprocity of kind offices1 equally honorable to the benefactors and to them who received the benefit3 an instance1 alas1 too rarely met with in a selfish world4 ,it may here be remarked1 in order to show how much temporal supplies are under the direction of a special providence1 that ,dr4 ,h----'s remittances and friendly letters were occasionally received by ,mrs4 ,graham until the year #agie2 after this period her circumstances were so favorably altered as to render such aid unnecessary2 and from that time she heard no more from ,dr4 ,h----1 neither could she learn what was his subsequent history4 ,it may be profitable here to look at ,mrs4 ,graham1 contrasted with those around her whose condition in the world was prosperous4 ,many persons then in ,antigua were busy and successful in the accumulation of wealth1 to the exclusion of every thought tending to holiness1 to ,god1 and to heaven4 ,the portion which they desired they possessed4 ,what then8 ,they are since gone to another world4 ,the magic of the words1 my property1 an independent fortune1 has been dispelled2 and that for which they toiled1 and in which they gloried1 has since passed into a hundred hands2 the illusion is vanished1 and unless they made their peace with ,god through the blood of the cross1 they left this world1 and alas1 found no heaven before them4 ,but amidst apparent affliction and outward distress1 ,god was preparing the heart of this widow1 by the discipline of his covenant1 for future usefulness--to be a blessing1 probably to thousands of her race1 and to enter finally on that rest which remaineth for the people of ,god4 ,her temporal support was not1 in her esteem1 an independent fortune1 but a life of dependence on the care of her heavenly ,father3 she had more delight in suffering and doing his will1 than in all riches4 ,the secret of the ,lord is with them that fear him1 and he will show them his covenant4 ,to those who walk with ,god1 he will show the way in which they should go1 and their experience will assure them that he directs their paths4 ,bread shall be given them1 and their water shall be sure4 ,she passed through many trials of a temporal nature1 but she was comforted of her ,god through them all2 and at last was put in possession of an eternal treasure in heaven1 where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt1 nor thieves break through and steal4 ,may this contrast be solemnly examined1 and the example of this child of ,god made a blessing to many4 ,in anticipation of her approaching trial1 with which her own life might be suddenly terminated1 ,mrs4 ,graham set her house in order1 and wrote the two following letters3 one to her friend ,mrs4 ,grandidier1 to whom and her husband ,capt4 ,grandidier1 she committed the charge of her family and affairs2 the other to her father in ,scotland1 commending her children to his protection4 ,her tender and affectionate appeals to each of them in respect to their own eternal welfare1 are a beautiful specimen of that ,christian fidelity and love of the souls of men which so strongly characterized her future life4 ,,st4 ,,johns1 ,antigua1 #aggd4 ,,my ,,dear ,,mrs4 ,,grandidier--,the long and steady friendship which has subsisted between us1 in sickness and in health1 in prosperity and adversity1 ever the same1 without change or diminution1 leaves me no room to doubt that it will extend to my little family1 and that you will be as ready1 to the utmost of your power1 to befriend them1 as you have been to the dear father already gone1 and your friend1 who is1 perhaps1 about to follow4 ,if it should please ,god to take me away in my approaching confinement1 ,i leave you and ,capt4 ,grandidier full power to dispose of every thing in this house1 and belonging to me in this island1 as you shall think most for the advantage of my little family4 ,you know my extreme tenderness for their dear father made me unable to part with any of his clothes1 but these can be of no consequence to me when ,i shall again have joined him for whose sake ,i kept them2 you may therefore dispose of them1 and also of my own1 if you think the avails will be of more service to the children4 ,but ,i do not choose to leave any particular directions about my trifling effects2 you will consult with other friends1 and ,i am certain you will act for them to the best of your judgment4 ,it is a great relief to my mind that ,i have such steady and tried friends to leave the charge of them upon4 ,miss ,g4 ,b---- has promised to take ,j----1 and it is my desire that the others1 and the infant yet unborn1 if it survive1 be sent to my father1 where ,i will leave them to be disposed of and provided for by that ,god who has fed me all my life1 by their heavenly ,father1 who has commanded me to leave my fatherless children upon him1 that he will preserve them alive1 and whose promise ,i have1 that he will never leave them nor forsake them4 ,mr4 ,reid will not be less kind to the offspring of his friend when they have lost1 than when they were under a mother's protection4 ,may the blessing of the widow and the fatherless follow him wherever he goes1 and may ,god recompense him a thousand-fold in blessings spiritual and temporal4 ,let ,diana99 be sent with my children2 if there be an infant1 you know a nurse must be found for it1 whatever it cost4 ,as for ,susan199 ,i am at a loss what to do with her2 my heart tells me ,i have no right to entail slavery upon her and her offspring2 ,i know ,i shall be blamed1 but ,i am about to be called to account by a higher power than any in this world for my conduct1 and ,i dare not allow her to be sold4 ,i therefore leave it to herself either to remain here1 or if it be her desire1 to accompany the children4 ,i beg ,mr4 ,reid will be kind enough to allow her a passage with the rest4 99,the two ,indian girls4 ,and now1 my dear friend1 as the greatest happiness ,i can wish you1 may that ,god whom ,i have chosen as my own portion1 be yours also2 may he1 by his outward providence and by the inward operations of his ,spirit on your heart1 lead you to himself and convince you of the truth4 ,but ,o1 my dear friend1 shut not your eyes and ears against conviction4 ,you are not satisfied that the ,bible is indeed the word of ,god4 ,is it not worth inquiring into8 ,what would you think of a man who had a large fortune1 and the whole depending on proving some certain facts1 and yet would not be at the pains to inform himself8 ,are the interests of this world of such importance1 which in a few fleeting years we must leave and have done with for ever1 and our final state in the next1 which is to fix us in happiness or misery through the endless days of eternity1 not worth a thought8 ,think then1 and seriously ask1 ',what if it be so8 ,what if this be indeed the word of ,god given by inspiration1 for the rule of both our faith and manners1 and by which we are to be judged8 ,what if this same ,god1 who so kindly reveals his will to men1 has with it given the clearest evidences and strongest proofs that it is his own word8' ,think1 ,i say1 my dear friend1 if it should be so1 what they deserve who either reject or neglect it without taking the trouble to inform themselves1 or to be convinced that it either is or is not of divine authority4 ,how many great1 learned1 and wise men have sifted these evidences with the greatest care1 and the deeper they entered into the search1 the more clear they appeared1 even those whose lives are entirely contrary to it1 and whose interest it is to wish it false1 cannot deny4 ,as to the various explanations of it1 it is every one's duty to read for himself1 and although there may be some parts of it too deep for every capacity1 and which may perhaps require a knowledge of the history of the times to understand1 yet the simple truths of the gospel1 what we are to believe concerning ,god1 and what duties he requires of us1 and what he forbids1 are equally plain and easy4 ,if we can only once be satisfied that it is indeed the word of ,god1 set ourselves to study it with an unprejudiced mind1 with a sincere desire to know the truth and be led by it1 with earnest prayer that the same ,spirit which inspired the writers would make it plain to our hearts and understandings1 that ,god himself would teach us its true meaning1 and save us from error1 we shall1 ,i venture to say1 be taught all necessary knowledge1 and be led in the way to eternal life1 and not suffered to err3 we have ,god's promise that it shall be so4 ',if any man will do ,his will1 he shall know of the doctrine whether it be of ,god4' ,forgive me1 my dear friend2 the subject appears to me so important that ,i know not how to have done4 ,i love you with a true and sincere friendship3 ,i love your soul1 and am deeply interested in its eternal happiness4 ,once more ,i commit you to that ,god1 who only can lead you to himself and to true happiness2 and that you may know the truth of this from deep experience1 to the eternal joy1 peace1 and safety of your immortal soul1 is the last prayer of your affectionate friend1 who hopes to meet and rejoice with you in our ,redeemer's kingdom4 ,,isabella ,,graham4 ,mrs4 ,graham to her ,father4 ,,antigua1 ,may1 #aggd4 ,,my ,,ever-,,dear ,,father--,if this ever reach you1 it will be when ,i have taken my final leave of this world1 and received my portion for eternity in the next1 when ,i hope ,i shall have gained the summit of my wishes1 and be happy in the society of my dear husband and much-loved mother1 in the kingdom of our ,redeemer4 ,my truly orphan children ,i have desired to be sent to you2 though ,i see no visible way you have to provide for them1 yet ,i am perfectly easy concerning them4 ,i leave them upon that ,god who has fed me all my life1 and whose tender care ,i have experienced in a thousand dangers--upon their and my heavenly ,father1 who has commanded me to leave my fatherless children upon him1 and he will preserve them alive4 ,the ,god of providence will prepare for them a home1 and raise up friends1 perhaps from a quarter neither you nor ,i could expect4 ,my only concern and prayer to ,god for them is1 that they may be early taught to love ,god and serve him--that they may fall into such hands as will carefully instruct them in the principles of morality and religion1 and teach them the great1 but too little thought of truth1 that our chief business in life is to prepare for death4 ,as to the polite parts of education1 ,i look upon them as of no consequence2 they may be as good ,christians1 perhaps better1 without than with them2 the perfection of their nature no way depends upon them4 ,i am equally indifferent what station of life they may occupy1 whether they swim in affluence or earn their daily bread1 if they only act their part properly1 and obtain the approbation of their ,god in that station wherein he in his infinite wisdom sees fit to place them4 ,remember to give my love to all my dear children4 ,i reckon all that sprung from my dear doctor mine2 and though ,i did not suffer a mother's pangs for them1 ,heaven knows how equally ,i love them with those who cost me dearer4 ,tell them ,i leave them a mother's blessing2 and my last prayers1 if it please ,god to continue my senses1 shall be for their best interests4 ,and now1 my dear father1 suffer one parting word1 though from one no way entitled to advise3 this is the third loud call for you to be also ready2 according to the course of nature1 you must very shortly follow2 you can have very little more to do in this world1 and therefore the smallest share of your attention is due to it4 ,the young1 the gay1 the giddy1 and thoughtless hold it a wise maxim to forget their departed friends as soon as possible2 this may be worldly1 but it cannot be heavenly wisdom4 ,to be fully and entirely resigned to the will of ,god in all things1 is certainly the characteristic of a ,christian2 but this is perfectly consistent with the most tender remembrance4 ,that resignation--but indeed it deserves not the name--which consists in forgetfulness1 in banishing thought and drowning reflection in worldly cares and amusements1 can be no grateful offering to ,him who has commanded us to have our loins girt and our lamps trimmed1 and to be always ready1 for in such an hour as we think not 'the ,son of man cometh4' ,how often are we commanded to watch1 to set our affections on things above1 to be dead to the world1 to lay up treasure for ourselves in heaven4 ,these injunctions are inconsistent with forgetfulness2 and if it be our duty to meditate on death and eternity1 nothing more naturally leads our minds to that subject than the recollection of departed friends1 who1 if pious1 are not lost1 but only gone a little while before1 taken from our earthly and added to our heavenly treasure4 ,believe me1 my dear father1 to a mind abstracted from the world and devoted to ,god1 death1 though solemn1 has nothing dreadful in it2 on the contrary1 to a mind rightly disposed it is rather a desirable object4 ,just conceptions of ,god1 and converse with him1 will very soon change the aspect of the king of terrors to a welcome messenger1 who comes to set open the gates of immortality1 and to usher us into the kingdom of our heavenly ,father4 ,and now may our most gracious ,god grant you1 through your few remaining days1 his direction and consolation2 may he bestow upon you that peace which the world can neither give nor take away2 and when the appointed time of your change shall come1 may the comforts of his ,holy ,spirit so cheer and refresh your soul1 that you may be able1 without a doubt or a fear1 to resign it into the hands of your ,redeemer4 ,give my love to ,hugh4 ,the sentiments expressed in his letters bespeak him a worthy brother1 and deserving of my highest esteem4 ,i would have written to him1 but ,i have still some directions to commit to writing concerning my little family1 and my hour is at hand2 but tell him ,i will remember him in my last prayers4 ,i charge him not to banish the idea of his worthy and now glorified mother1 lest with that he also forget her precepts2 but prepare to meet us who are gone before2 and ,o1 that our meeting may be with joy on both sides4 ,it is hard for youth1 in the present age1 to follow our ,christian pattern4 ,every real ,christian1 every ,bible ,christian1 must lay his account with being branded with the name of enthusiast2 but tell him to remember that the opinion of the world cannot alter the nature of holiness1 nor the maxims of ,christ4 ,let him read1 think1 and judge for himself with an unprejudiced mind2 with a hearty desire to know and be led by the truth2 to be taught of ,god1 and conformed to his will in all things1 and ,i venture to promise he will not be suffered to err4 ,but let him avoid disputes about religion1 they are seldom productive of any good2 let him fortify his mind against banter and ridicule1 it is no small degree of persecution4 ,yet1 if he be determined to follow his ,lord1 he must expect to meet with it1 and ,i know from experience it is hard to bear4 ,i have found the safest way is to receive it in silence2 for those who are disposed to ridicule the appearance of religion in another1 are not in a fit disposition to be convinced by any argument1 at least at that time1 and few can dispute without heat1 which is a transgression against the virtue of meekness1 and very apt to lessen our love to the person who opposes us4 ,we lose the spirit of brotherly love in hot-headed zeal1 which perhaps deserves a harder name1 but conceals itself under that appearance2 and it is no small victory gained over ourselves if we are able to love1 wish well to1 and be ready to serve those whose sentiments differ from ours4 ,i leave you and yours1 and mine1 upon the ,fountain of all goodness1 and may the peace of ,god1 which passeth all understanding1 keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of ,god1 and of his ,son ,jesus ,christ our ,lord2 and the blessing of ,god ,almighty1 the ,father1 ,son1 and ,holy ,ghost1 be among you1 and remain with you always4 ,amen4 ,your ever dutiful and affectionate daughter1 ,,isabella ,,graham4 ,it pleased ,god to preserve the life of ,mrs4 ,graham1 and to make her the grateful mother of a son1 whom she called after the name of his father1 and endeavored1 in humble trust1 to consecrate to the ,author of his being4 ,having now no object to induce her to stay longer at ,antigua1 she disposed of her slender property1 and placing her money in the hands of ,major ,brown1 requested him to take a passage for herself and family1 and to lay in their sea-stores4 ,after seeing a railing placed around the grave of her beloved husband1 that his remains might not be disturbed until mingled with their kindred dust1 she bade adieu to her kind friends1 and with a sorrowful heart turned her face towards her native land4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,return ,,to ,,scotland--,,school ,,in ,,edinburgh4 ,no ship offering at this time from ,antigua for ,scotland1 ,mrs4 ,graham embarked with her family in one bound to ,belfast1 ,ireland4 ,major ,brown and his brother officers saw her safely out to sea2 and he gave her a letter to a gentleman in ,belfast1 containing1 as he said1 a bill for the balance of the money she had deposited with him4 ,after a stormy and trying voyage1 she arrived in safety at her destined port4 ,the correspondent in ,ireland of ,major ,brown delivered her a letter from that officer expressive of esteem and affection1 and stating that as a proof of respect for the memory of their deceased friend1 he and his brother officers had taken the liberty of defraying the expenses of her voyage4 ,consequently the bill he had given was for the full amount of her original deposit2 and thus1 like the brethren of ,joseph1 she found all her money in the sack's mouth4 ,being a stranger in ,ireland1 without a friend to look out for a proper vessel in which to embark for ,scotland1 she and her children went passengers in a packet2 on board of which1 as she afterwards learned1 there was not even a compass4 ,a storm arose and they were tossed to and fro for nine hours in imminent danger4 ,the rudder and the mast were carried away2 every thing on deck thrown overboard2 and at length the vessel struck in the night upon a rock1 on the coast of ,ayr1 in ,scotland4 ,the greatest confusion pervaded the passengers and crew4 ,among a number of young students1 going to the ,university at ,edinburgh1 some were swearing1 some praying1 and all were in despair4 ,the widow only remained composed4 ,with her babe in her arms she hushed her weeping family1 and told them that in a few minutes they should all go to join their father in a better world4 ,the passengers wrote their names in their pocket-books1 that their bodies might be recognized and reported for the information of their friends4 ,one young man came into the cabin1 asking1 ,is there any peace here8 ,he was surprised to find a female so tranquil2 a short conversation soon evinced that religion was the source of comfort and hope to them both in this perilous hour4 ,he engaged in prayer and then read the #ajgth ,psalm4 ,while repeating these words1 he maketh the storm a calm1 so that the waves thereof are still1 the vessel swung off the rock by the rising of the tide4 ,she had been dashing against it for an hour and a half1 the sea making a breach over her1 so that the hold was now nearly filled with water4 ,towards morning the storm subsided1 and the vessel floated until she rested on a sand-bank4 ,assistance was afforded from the shore1 and the shipwrecked company took shelter in a small inn1 where the men seemed anxious to drown the remembrance of danger in a bowl of punch4 ,how faithful a monitor is conscience6 ,this voice is listened to in extreme peril2 but ,o1 infatuated man1 how anxious art thou to stifle the warnings of wisdom in the hour of prosperity4 ,thousands of our race1 no doubt1 delay their preparation for eternity until1 by sudden death1 they have scarcely a moment left to perform this solemn work4 ,mrs4 ,graham retired to a private room1 to offer up thanksgiving to ,god for his goodness1 and to commend herself and her orphans to his future care4 ,a gentleman from ,ayr1 hearing of the shipwreck1 came down to offer assistance2 and in him ,mrs4 ,graham was happy to recognize an old friend4 ,this gentleman paid her and her family much attention1 carrying them to his own house1 and treating them with kindness and hospitality4 ,in a day or two after this she reached ,cartside1 and entered her father's dwelling2 not the large ancient mansion in which she had left him1 but a thatched cottage1 consisting of three apartments4 ,possessed of a too easy temper and unsuspecting disposition1 ,mr4 ,marshall had been induced to become security for some of his friends1 whose failure in business had reduced him to poverty4 ,he now acted as factor of a gentleman's estate in this neighborhood1 of whose father he had been the intimate friend1 with a salary of twenty pounds sterling per annum and the use of a small farm4 ,in a short time1 however1 his health failed1 and he was deprived of this scanty pittance1 being incapable1 as the proprietor was pleased to think1 of fulfilling the duties of factor4 ,alive to every call of duty1 ,mrs4 ,graham now considered her father as added1 with her children1 to the number of dependents on her industry4 ,she proved indeed a good daughter--faithful1 affectionate1 and dutiful1 she supported her father through his declining years2 and he died at her house1 ,feb4 #ac1 #aghc1 aged #ge1 during her residence in ,edinburgh1 surrounded by his daughter and her children1 who tenderly watched him during his last illness4 ,having resided two years at ,cartside1 she removed to ,paisley in #aggh1 where she taught a small school4 ,the slender profits of such an establishment1 with a widow's pension of sixteen pounds sterling1 were the means of subsistence for herself and her family4 ,when she first returned to ,cartside a few religious friends called to welcome her home4 ,the gay and wealthy part of her former acquaintances1 who1 like the butterfly1 spread their silken wings only to bask in the warmth of a summer sun1 found not their way to the lonely cottage of an afflicted widow4 ,her worth1 though in after-life rendered splendid by its own fruits1 was at this time hidden1 excepting to those whose reflection and wisdom had taught them to discern it more in the faith and submission of the soul1 than in the selfish and extravagant exhibitions of that wealth bestowed by the bounty of ,providence1 but expended too often for the purposes of vanity and dissipation4 ,in such circumstances1 the ,christian character of ,mrs4 ,graham was strongly marked4 ,sensible that her heavenly ,father saw it good1 at this time1 to depress her outward condition1 full of filial tenderness1 and like a real child of ,god resigned to whatever should appear to be his will1 her conduct conformed to his dispensations4 ,with a cheerful heart1 and in the hope of faith1 she set herself to walk down into the valley of humiliation1 leaning upon ,jesus1 as the beloved of her soul4 ,i delight to do thy will1 ,o my ,god1 yea1 thy law is within my heart1 was the spontaneous effusion of her genuine faith4 ,she received with affection the scriptural admonition1 ,humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of ,god1 that he may exalt you in due time2 casting all your care upon him1 for he careth for you4 ,she laid aside her children's fine frocks1 and clothed them in homespun4 ,at ,cartside she sold the butter she made1 and her children were fed on the milk4 ,it was her wish to eat her own bread1 however coarse1 and to owe no person anything but love4 ,at ,paisley1 for a season1 her breakfast and supper was porridge1 and her dinner potatoes and salt4 ,peace with ,god and a contented mind supplied the lack of earthly prosperity1 and she adverted to this her humble fare1 to comfort the hearts of suffering sisters1 with whom she corresponded at a later period of life1 when in comfortable circumstances4 ,meantime the ,lord was not unmindful of his believing child2 but was preparing the minds of her friends for introducing her to a more enlarged sphere of usefulness4 ,her pious and attached friend1 ,mrs4 ,major ,brown1 had accompanied her husband to ,scotland1 and they now resided on their estate in ,ayrshire4 ,mr4 ,peter ,reid1 a kind friend when in ,antigua1 was now a merchant in ,london4 ,this gentleman advised her to invest the little money she had brought home--and which she had still preserved--in muslins2 which she could work into finer articles of dress1 and he would ship them in a vessel of his own_/freight free1 to be sold in the ,west ,indies4 ,his object was partly to increase her little capital1 and partly to divert her mind from meditating so deeply on the loss of her lamented husband4 ,the plan so kindly proposed was soon adopted2 the muslin dresses were shipped2 but she soon afterwards learned that the ship was captured by the ,french4 ,this was a severe loss1 and more deeply felt as it was received at the time when her father was deprived of his office4 ,mrs4 ,brown1 after consulting with the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,randall of ,glasgow1 the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,ellis of ,paisley1 ,lady ,glenorchy and ,mrs4 ,walker of ,edinburgh1 proposed to ,mrs4 ,graham to take charge of a boarding-school in that metropolis4 ,the friends of religion were of opinion that such an establishment1 under the direction of one possessing the qualifications of ,mrs4 ,graham1 would be of singular benefit to young ladies destined for important stations in society4 ,her liberal education1 her acquaintance with life1 and her humble yet ardent piety1 were considered peculiarly calculated to qualify her for so important a trust4 ,another friend had suggested to ,mrs4 ,graham the propriety of opening a boarding-house in ,edinburgh1 which he thought could1 through his influence1 be easily filled by students4 ,she saw obstacles to both3 a boarding-house did not appear suitable1 as her daughters would not be so likely to have the same advantages of education as from a boarding-school2 and to engage as an instructress of youth on so large a scale1 with so many competitors1 appeared for her an arduous undertaking4 ,in this perplexity1 as in former trials1 she fled to her unerring counsellor the ,lord1 her covenant ,god4 ,she set apart a day for fasting and prayer4 ,she spread her case before the ,lord1 earnestly beseeching him to make his word a light to her feet and a lamp to her path1 and to lead her in the way in which she should go2 especially that she might be directed to choose the path in which she could best promote his glory and the highest interests of herself and her children4 ,on searching the ,scriptures1 her mind fastened on these words in ,john #ba3ae1 ,simon1 son of ,jonas1 lovest thou me more than these8 ,he saith unto him1 ,yea1 ,lord2 thou knowest that ,i love thee4 ,he saith unto him1 ,feed my lambs4 ,never1 perhaps1 was this commandment applied with more filial confidence1 or accompanied with a richer blessing1 since the days of the apostle1 than in the present instance4 ,her determination was accordingly made4 ,she resolved to undertake the education of youth1 trusting that her ,lord would make her an humble instrument of training some for his service on earth1 and his praises in heaven4 ,here was exhibited an instance of simple yet powerful faith in a believer surrounded by temporal perplexities1 and of condescension and mercy on the part of a compassionate ,god4 ,light unseen by mortal eyes descended on her path4 ,how weak1 perhaps enthusiastic1 would this have appeared to the busy crowd1 blind to the special providence exercised by the ,god of heaven towards all his creatures4 ,she felt the pressure of her affliction2 but1 like the ,psalmist1 gave herself unto prayer3 ,prayer ardent opens heaven1 lets down a stream ,of glory on the consecrated hour ,of man in audience with the ,deity4 ,though her faith was strong1 yet her mind was under such agitation1 from her total want of funds to carry her plan into effect1 and from other conflicting exercises1 as to throw her into a nervous fever1 which kept her confined to her bed for some weeks4 ,on her recovery1 she felt it her duty to go forward1 trusting that ,he1 who had directed her path1 would provide the means that were necessary to enable her to walk in it3 she sold her heavy furniture1 packed up all her remaining effects1 and prepared to set out from ,paisley for ,edinburgh on a ,monday1 in the year #aggi4 ,on the ,saturday previous she sat by her fire musing and wondering in what manner the ,lord would appear for her at this time1 when a letter was brought to her from ,mr4 ,peter ,reid1 enclosing a sum of money which he had recovered from the underwriters1 on account of ,mrs4 ,graham's muslins captured on their passage to the ,west ,indies4 ,mrs4 ,graham had considered them as totally lost1 but her friend had taken the precaution to have them insured4 ,with this supply she was enabled to accomplish her object1 and arrived in ,edinburgh with her family4 ,her friend ,mrs4 ,brown met her there1 and stayed with her a few days1 to comfort and patronize her in her new undertaking4 ,mrs4 ,brown was her warm and constant friend until her death1 which occurred at ,paisley in #aghb1 when she was attending the communion4 ,she bequeathed her daughter ,mary to ,mrs4 ,graham's care4 ,but in #aghe the daughter followed the mother1 being cut off by a fever in the twelfth year of her age4 ,it may be proper here to introduce the name of ,mr4 ,george ,anderson1 a merchant in ,glasgow1 who had been an early and particular friend of ,dr4 ,graham4 ,he kindly offered his friendly services1 and the use of his purse1 to promote the welfare of the bereaved family of his friend4 ,mrs4 ,graham occasionally drew upon both4 ,the money she borrowed she had the satisfaction of repaying with interest4 ,a correspondence was carried on between them after ,mrs4 ,graham's removal to ,america1 until the death of ,mr4 ,anderson1 in #ahjb4 ,during her residence in ,edinburgh she was honored with the friendship and counsel of many persons of distinction and piety4 ,the ,viscountess ,glenorchy1 ,lady ,boss ,baillie1 ,lady ,jane ,belches1 ,mrs4 ,walter ,scott1 mother of the poet1 ,mrs4 ,dr4 ,davidson1 and ,mrs4 ,baillie ,walker1 were among her warm personal friends4 ,the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,erskine1 and ,dr4 ,davidson1 formerly the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,randall of ,glasgow1 and many respectable clergymen1 were also her friends4 ,she and her family attended on the ministry of ,dr4 ,davidson1 an able1 evangelical1 useful pastor4 ,her school soon became respectable in numbers and character4 ,her early and superior education now proved of essential service to her4 ,she was indefatigable in her attention to the instruction of her pupils4 ,while she was faithful in giving them those accomplishments which were to qualify them for acting a distinguished part in this world1 she was also zealous in directing their attention to that gospel by which they were instructed to obtain an inheritance in that to come4 ,she felt a high responsibility1 and took a deep interest in their temporal and spiritual welfare4 ,as a mother in ,israel1 she wished to train them up in the ways of the ,lord4 ,she prayed with them morning and evening2 and on the ,sabbath1 which she was careful to devote to its proper use1 she took great pains to imbue their minds with the truths of religion4 ,nor did she labor in vain4 ,although she was often heard to lament of how little use she had been compared with her opportunities of doing good1 yet when her children1 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,b4 visited ,scotland in #ahja1 they heard of many individuals1 then pious and exemplary1 who dated their first religious impressions from those seasons of early instruction which they enjoyed under ,mrs4 ,graham while in ,edinburgh4 ,mrs4 ,graham's manner in the management of youth was peculiarly happy4 ,while she kept them diligent in their studies1 and strictly obedient to the laws she had established1 she was endeared to them by her tenderness2 and the young ladies instructed in her school retained for her in after-life a degree of filial affection which was expressed on many affecting occasions4 ,this was afterwards remarkably the case with her pupils in ,america4 ,her little republic was completely governed by a system of equitable laws4 ,on every alleged offence1 a court-martial1 as they termed it1 was held1 and the accused tried by her peers4 ,there were no arbitrary punishments1 no sallies of capricious passion4 ,the laws were promulgated1 and obedience was indispensable2 the sentences of the courts-martial were always approved1 and had a salutary effect4 ,in short1 there was a combination of authority1 decision1 and tenderness in ,mrs4 ,graham's government1 that rendered its subjects industrious1 intelligent1 circumspect1 and happy4 ,she enjoyed their happiness2 and in cases of sickness1 she watched over them with unremitting solicitude and care1 sparing no expense to promote their restoration to health4 ,a strong trait in her character was distinctly marked by her educating the daughters of pious ministers at half price4 ,this was setting an example worthy of imitation4 ,it was a conduct conformable to scriptural precept4 ,said ,paul1 ,if we have sown unto you spiritual things1 is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things8 ,do ye not know that they which minister about holy things live of the things of the temple8 ,even so hath the ,lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live by the gospel4 ,always conscientious in obeying the commandments of her ,god1 she observed them in this matter1 giving1 in her proportion1 at least the widow's mite4 ,by another plan1 for she was ingenious in contrivances to do good1 she greatly assisted those in slender circumstances1 especially such as were of the household of faith4 ,believing that the use of sums of ten1 fifteen1 or twenty pounds in hand would be serviceable by way of capital to persons in a moderate business1 she was in the habit of making such advances1 and taking back the value in articles they had for sale4 ,she charged no interest1 being amply repaid in the luxury of her own feelings1 when she beheld the benefit it produced to her humble friends4 ,the board of her pupils being paid in advance1 she was enabled to adopt this plan with more facility4 ,were her spirit more prevalent in the world1 what good might be done4 ,the heart would be expanded1 reciprocal confidence and affection cherished2 and instead of beholding worms of the dust fighting for particles of yellow sand1 we should behold a company of affectionate brethren leaning upon and assisting each other through the wilderness of this world4 ,look not every man on his own things1 said ,paul1 but every man also on the things of others4 ,bear ye one another's burdens1 and so fulfil the law of ,christ4 ,on the subject of promoting the external accomplishments of her scholars1 it became a question how far ,mrs4 ,graham was to countenance them in their attendance on public balls--to what length it was proper for her to go so as to meet the received opinions of the world in these concerns4 ,she consulted with her pious friends1 and wrote to ,lady ,glenorchy on the subject4 ,her ladyship's letter in reply is so excellent that the serious reader will be gratified with its insertion4 ,,barnton1 ,december #bg1 #agha4 ,,dear ,,madam--,i received your letter last week1 and also one some time ago from ,mrs4 ,walker1 in which she desired me to send you my sentiments upon the alteration you had made1 and still thought of making1 upon your plan4 ,i have since endeavored to consider1 with all the attention of which ,i am at present capable1 the arguments that may be brought on both sides of the question2 and with regard to the first point1 the practisings1 ,i will frankly own1 that could you send your young ladies to one where girls only are admitted1 ,i should more readily yield my opinion of the matter to those ,christians who have advised you to it4 ,but as ,i learn that it is a promiscuous dance of boys and girls1 ,i must in conscience say that ,i look upon such a meeting to be as pernicious in its effects upon the minds of young people1 as balls and public assemblies on persons of riper years4 ,when you mentioned the subject to me first1 ,i thought it had been a practising of girls only1 else ,i should then have given you my sentiments fully upon that head4 ,as to the reading of plays1 or any part of them1 to your young people1 ,i must own1 it does not appear to me to be expedient2 it may be productive of bad consequences1 and the good arising from it is1 at most1 uncertain4 ,it is1 no doubt1 very desirable to enlarge young people's minds and improve their taste as well as their persons2 but such is the state of things in this world1 that to attain this to the degree wished for by every person of refined taste1 some things must be sacrificed of much greater value3 for example1 a girl cannot acquire the smart1 polished air of a person of fashion1 without imbibing too much of the spirit of the world4 ,vanity and emulation must be awakened and cultivated in the heart1 before she will apply herself with diligence to outward accomplishments2 nor can her mind and taste be much improved in polite literature1 without losing its relish for simple truth4 ,i grant you1 there are a few ,christians in the world who have acquired the outward accomplishments of it1 and have1 by grace1 been enabled to turn these to good account--who1 like the ,israelites1 having spoiled the ,egyptians1 have made use of their jewels in adorning the tabernacle2 but this can never serve as an argument on your side of the question4 ,if the ,lord sees fit to manifest his power and grace by plucking a brand from the burning1 this is no reason why children should be initiated into the ways of sin and folly1 in hopes that some time or other he will bring them out4 ,we are never to do evil that good may come2 and this brings the question to a short issue4 ,do you think it lawful for ,christians to attend public places1 or to spend their time in reading plays8 ,do you think these things tend1 either immediately or remotely1 to promote the glory of ,god8 ,if you do not1 ,i cannot see how you1 as a ,christian1 can have any hand in introducing young ladies to the one or in giving them a taste for the other4 ,this1 dear madam1 is my view of the matter2 but ,i do not wish you to walk by my light4 ,i believe all the children of ,god are taught by him1 and ought to follow the dictates of their own consciences3 ,i therefore pretend not to advise you1 but shall endeavor to pray that the great unerring ,counsellor may give you divine wisdom to be your teacher1 to lead you into all truth1 and to keep you from every thing inconsistent with his holy will4 ,i have met with so many interruptions since ,i began this letter1 that ,i fear that it is hardly intelligible4 ,i shall be sorry if ,i have said any thing that gives you uneasiness2 your spirits seem low1 and your business does not succeed so well as could be wished3 perhaps ,i ought to have employed my pen in the way of consolation and encouragement1 than by throwing in fresh matter of perplexity4 ,sure ,i am1 ,i do not mean to add affliction to the afflicted2 but rather have been impelled1 from a regard to truth1 to write my real sentiments1 as you desired4 ,your friend and humble servant1 ,w4 ,,glenorchy4 ,in after-life1 ,mrs4 ,graham was of opinion that she and her scholars had gone too far in conformity with the opinions and manners of the world4 ,a reference to this deviation from what she considered a close ,christian walk in life1 will be frequently found in her subsequent exercises4 ,lady ,glenorchy being in a delicate state of health1 made frequent use of ,mrs4 ,graham as her almoner to the poor4 ,on one of these visits1 ,mrs4 ,graham called on a poor woman with a present of a new gown4 ,i am obliged to you and her ladyship for your kindness1 said the poor woman rich in faith1 but ,i maun gang to the right airth first2 ye wad na hae come1 gin ye had na been sent2 the ,lord hath left me lately wi' but ae goon for week-day and ,sabbath1 but now he has sent you wi' a ,sabbath-day's goon4 ,meaning1 in plain ,english1 that her thankfulness was first due to the ,god of providence1 who had put it into the hearts of his children to supply the wants of this poor disciple4 ,mrs4 ,graham used to repeat with pleasure an anecdote of her friends ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,douglas4 ,mr4 ,douglas was a tallow-chandler1 and furnished candles for ,lady ,glenorchy's chapel4 ,the excise-tax was very high on making those articles1 and many persons of the trade were accustomed to defraud the revenue by one stratagem or another4 ,religious principle would not permit ,mr4 ,douglas to do so4 ,mrs4 ,graham one evening was remarking how handsomely the chapel was lighted4 ,aye1 ,mrs4 ,graham1 said ,mrs4 ,douglas1 and it is all pure--the light is all pure1 it burns bright4 ,it would be well if ,christians of every trade and profession were to act in like manner2 that the merchant should have no hand in unlawfully secreting property1 or encouraging perjury to accumulate gains2 that the man of great wealth should have neither usury nor the shedding of blood by privateering to corrode his treasures2 that all should observe a just weight and a just measure in their dealings1 as in the presence of ,god4 ,let every ,christian seek after the consolation of ,mrs4 ,douglas1 that the light which refreshes him may be pure4 ,it being stated as matter of regret1 that poor people when sick suffered greatly1 although while in health their daily labor supported them1 ,mrs4 ,graham suggested the idea of every poor person in the neighborhood laying aside one penny a week to form a fund for relieving the contributors when in sickness4 ,mr4 ,douglas undertook the formation of such an institution4 ,it went for a long time under the name of ,the ,penny ,society4 ,it afterwards received a more liberal patronage1 has now a handsome capital1 and is called1 ,the ,society for the ,relief of the ,destitute ,sick4 ,in ,july1 #aghf1 ,mrs4 ,graham attended the dying bed of her friend and patroness ,lady ,glenorchy3 this lady had shown her friendship in a variety of ways during her valuable life2 she had one of ,mrs4 ,graham's daughters for some time in her family1 condescended herself to instruct her1 and sent her for a year to a ,french boarding-school in ,rotterdam4 ,she defrayed all her expenses while there1 and furnished her with a liberal supply of pocket-money1 that she might not see distress without the power of relieving it4 ,so much does a person's conduct in maturer years depend upon the habits of early life1 that it is wise to accustom young people to feel for and to contribute in their degree to the relief of the afflicted and the needy4 ,lady ,glenorchy was a character in whom was eminently displayed the power of religion4 ,descended from an ancient family1 married to the eldest son of the ,earl of ,broadalbaine1 beautiful and accomplished1 she was received into the first circles of society4 ,with her husband she made the tour of ,europe1 visiting the several courts on that continent4 ,yet all these things she counted but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of ,christ ,jesus her ,lord4 ,she became a widow while yet in the bloom of youth4 ,she devoted herself to the service of the ,lord1 and was made singularly useful4 ,she kept a regular account of her income1 and of the different objects to which it was applied4 ,she built and supported several chapels in ,england1 and erected one in ,edinburgh1 in which pious ministers of different denominations should be admitted to preach4 ,she also built a manufactory for the employment of the poor1 where the education of children was strictly attended to3 even the porters' lodges on each side of her gate were occupied as schools for the neighboring poor4 ,her pleasure-grounds were thrown open for the accommodation of the numbers who usually come from a distance to attend a communion-season in ,scotland4 ,in a year of scarcity the same grounds were planted with potatoes for the supply of the poor4 ,she distributed with great judgment various sums of money in aid of families who were poor1 yet deserving4 ,she never encouraged idleness or pride1 and often remarked that it was better to assist people to do well in the sphere which ,providence had assigned them1 than to attempt to raise them beyond it4 ,there was so much wisdom in the active application of her charities1 as to render them both efficient and extensive4 ,she seldom was seen in these works of beneficence2 her object was to do good3 the gratitude of those on whom she bestowed benefits was no part of her motive1 or even of her calculation4 ,what she did she did unto ,god1 and in obedience to his commands2 her faith and hope were in ,god4 ,she contributed largely to the public institutions established at ,edinburgh in her day4 ,of one or two of the most useful she was the first to suggest the idea1 always accompanying her recommendation with a handsome donation to encourage the work4 ,the venerable ,society for the ,promotion of ,christian ,knowledge and ,piety shared largely her patronage2 and at her death she bequeathed them five thousand pounds4 ,she indulged the hope of seeing a union of exertion1 among all ,christian denominations1 for sending the gospel to the heathen4 ,how delighted would she have been with the missionary societies of ,london and elsewhere1 had her life been spared to behold their extensive operations4 ,she sold her estate of ,barnton that she might apply the money to a more disinterested object than her personal accommodation1 and that her fortune might be expended with her life1 ,i recollect here1 said ,saurin in one of his sermons1 an epitaph said to be engraven on the tomb of ,atolus of ,rheims3 ,he exported his fortune before him into heaven by his charities--he ,has gone thither to enjoy it4 ,this might be truly said of ,lady ,glenorchy4 ,in her manner she discovered great dignity of character tempered with the meekness and benevolence of the gospel4 ,her family was arranged with much economy1 and a strict regard to moral and religious habits4 ,she usually supported some promising and pious young minister as her chaplain1 which served him as an introduction to respectability in the church4 ,with very few exceptions1 all those who entered her family as servants were in process of time brought under religious impressions4 ,so far it pleased the ,lord to honor her pious endeavors to render her family one of the dwellings of the ,god of ,jacob4 ,mrs4 ,graham had the honor of attending the death-bed1 and of closing the eyes of this distinguished child of ,god4 ,it had been ,lady ,glenorchy's express desire that ,mrs4 ,graham should be sent for1 if within twenty miles of her1 when such attendance should be necessary4 ,the following letter to a daughter1 two months later1 gives us another illustration of the self-denial and anxiety for the salvation of the soul1 with which ,mrs4 ,graham personally ministered to the needy and the suffering1 and how skilfully she improved these scenes for the benefit of others4 ,,edinburgh1 ,september1 #aghf4 ,,my ,,dear ,,daughter--,such a scene as ,i have been witness to6--poor ,m4 ,b---- is gone to her last abode2 her state is fixed for ever4 ,i attended her sick-bed for eight successive days and nights1 except perhaps for an hour that ,i lay down in the same room4 ,i held by life to the very last1 because ,i feared she was not in a fit state to die4 ,she took every medicine that was prescribed for her1 which ,i administered with my own hand2 but the time appointed to end her mortal state had arrived1 and go she must4 ,she lived four days after the physicians had lost all hope1 and ,i think ,i never witnessed greater distress4 ,i watched every word with anxious care to find if any breath of prayer was to be heard2 but alas1 ,i had no such satisfaction4 ,as she was insensible after the first few days1 it was not to be expected she could either think or pray4 ,o1 why will sinners resist the grace of ,god1 and spend the precious time given to seek and find it in thoughtless folly8 ,what can they do1 on such a bed of distress1 who have no ,god8 ,time misspent and gone--opportunities unimproved and gone--calls resisted never to be repeated--death hunting the soul through every avenue of life--a dreadful1 unknown1 unthought of eternity at hand--an awful ,judge1 and no ,advocate secured to plead4 ,a time was when a kind ,saviour was expostulating with them3 ',why will you die8' ',hear1 and your soul shall live2' ',ask1 and you shall receive2 seek1 and you shall find2 knock1 and it shall be opened unto you2' ',look unto me and be ye saved1 all ye ends of the earth2' ',let the wicked forsake his way1 and the unrighteous man his thoughts1 and let him return unto the ,lord1 and he will have mercy upon him1 and to our ,god1 for he will abundantly pardon2' ',ho1 every one that thirsteth1 come ye to the waters'--blessings purchased by ,christ3 pardon of sin1 reconciliation with ,god1 a new heart and spirit1 all that is necessary for time and eternity--',he that hath no money1' no merit1 no good about him1 no claim upon any account whatever1 'come1 buy and eat1 without money and without price2' ',why spend ye your money1' time1 talents1 affections1 desires1 'for that which is not bread1' and cannot satisfy8 'incline your ear1 and come unto me2 hear1 and your soul shall live1 and ,i will make an everlasting covenant with you4 ,now is the accepted time2 now is the day of salvation4 ,to-day if ye will hear his voice1 harden not your heart4' ,such is the language of the dear ,redeemer to sinners every day1 in his written word1 from the pulpit1 and in the dispensations of his providence2 but ,o1 the madness of sinners1 who will not think1 who will not attend1 will not apply to this ,saviour1 whose sole errand into this world was to seek and to save sinners1 yea1 the very chief2 but they will not put their souls into his hands1 nor give him any service4 ,a time will come1 and we are forewarned of it1 when this same inviting ,saviour will say1 ',because ,i have called and ye refused1 stretched out my hand and no man regarded1 ,i also will laugh at your calamity1 and will mock when your fear cometh4' ,improve this dispensation1 my dear child2 beg of the ,lord to search you and try you1 and see that your hopes be well grounded4 ,your affectionate mother1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,the following to her beloved friend ,mrs4 ,walker1 shows the impressions made on the mind of ,mrs4 ,graham by visiting the place of her nativity and the scene of her struggles with this world's adversity1 when the hand of ,god was heavy upon her4 ,,edinburgh1 ,september1 #aghg4 ,,my ,,dear ,,madam--,i have been on a jaunt for nearly three weeks2 my school mostly dismissed1 the remainder ,i left with ,miss ,s----4 ,goodness and mercy have followed me1 and the ,lord has taken care of my house also in my absence4 ,yours was put into my hand on my return1 and brought fresh cause of thankfulness2 your observation1 that we were mutually feeding on the same allowance1 continues to hold4 ,i too have been considering the works and doings of the ,lord1 and many of them have been renewed in my memory by the scenes ,i have passed through4 ,i visited the seat of my juvenile years with my dear and only brother4 ,there ,i recollected the days of my vanity1 and the ,lord's patience and long-suffering2 my repenting1 my returning1 his pardoning1 his blessing2 my backslidings1 his stripes and chastisements1 his restoring and recovering1 yea1 many and many times4 ,there1 too1 ,i found my old acquaintances no more2 most of them had finished their course under the sun2 some ,i could still clasp in the arms of faith1 as united to the glorious ,head1 and now singing the song of ,moses and the ,lamb4 ,from the idea of others1 ,i was obliged to turn away and say1 ',the ,judge of all the earth shall do right4' ,i recollected a lowly cottage1 where lived a pious father1 mother1 two daughters1 and a son2 where the voice of prayer seldom ceased1 the voice of complaint was seldom heard3 not one stone remained upon another2 only the bushes which surrounded it1 and the ruins of a little garden1 the seat of secret communion of each with their ,god in turn2 for one little earth-floored place was all their house-convenience1 and in the winter's storm their little cow-house1 built under the same humble roof1 was their secret temple4 ,i found three had gone to glory3 of the other two ,i could learn no tidings2 but ,i shall see them one day in very different mansions4 ,i saw others spreading like a green bay-tree1 adding field to field1 and dwelling alone1 servants and dependents excepted4 ,i saw my father's cottage1 in the day when the ,lord pressed him down1 and the place where my dear glorified-mother poured out many prayers for me and mine2 my own retirement too1 after the vanity ,i had seen of human life1 and when tired and sick of it1 ,i sought to end my days in solitude1 saying1 ',it is enough2 here let thy servant depart in peace1 and let my children be reared in obscurity4' ,then ,i returned to the town where my husband had practised as a physician1 where ,i had been respected and tasted largely of life's comfort4 ,i saw the house we had lived in1 and many tender scenes passed2 to this same town ,i had returned a widow1 helpless and poor1 neglected and forgotten4 ,i saw the house where ,i had taught my little school1 and earned my porridge1 potatoes1 and salt2 when ,i found myself totally neglected by some who once thought themselves honored by my acquaintance2 while others1 once shining in affluence1 were now reduced to humble dwellings4 ,the ,lord has been saying1 ',know and consider all the way by which ,i have led thee1 to prove thee1 and try thee1 to show thee what was in thy heart1 that he might do thee good in thy latter end4' ,he is now saying1 ',whatsoever thy hand findeth to do1 do it with thy might2' ',occupy till ,i come4' ,oh1 for a thankful heart1 a loving1 a zealous heart1 a meek and humble heart4 ,oh1 for diligence and steadiness in the path of duty1 a due sense of our own weakness and inability1 of the ,lord's power and all-sufficiency1 and firm faith in the same4 ,give my love to ----1 she is the ,lord's3 her heavenly ,father mingles her cup2 not one unnecessary bitter drop shall be put into it2 bid her trust in the ,lord2 the time1 the set time for deliverance shall come4 ,i can witness1 with many thousands on earth1 and an innumerable company in heaven1 that he is the best of masters4 ,i have suffered much1 yet not one word of all that he has said has failed4 ,i expect to suffer more2 but whatever bitter draughts may yet await me1 ,i would not give one drop of my heavenly ,father's mixing for oceans of what the world styles felicity4 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,under another date she adds3 ,when we trace the tenderness of our ,daysman's conduct through the whole of his tabernacling here below1 and add to this the many gracious words which he spoke1 and to these again what were spoken by the disciples by his authority1 can we refuse to cast all our burdens on him1 and to trust him with ourselves and them8 ,you know how sweet it is1 in the time of tumultuous distress1 when the spirit is overwhelmed1 when ,god's mercy seems clean gone for ever1 and his promise to fail1 how sweet to get even a lean upon the ,saviour2 but when he1 as he does at times1 takes the soul out of itself1 and away from forebodings1 reasonings1 and suppositions1 to his own divine attributes1 and gives it a believing view of its interest in them all1 in his wisdom as unerring1 his power as almighty1 his goodness as boundless1 his faithfulness unchanging2 when we add to these his humanity1 and consider that our ,high-priest was in all points tempted as we are1 yet without sin1 and that he has a feeling for our infirmities2 when we find him listening to every petition--a widowed mother for her son--the centurion for his servant--weeping with two sisters over a brother's grave--embracing and blessing the little children whom mothers1 like you and me1 pressed through the crowd1 in spite of the reprehensions of disciples1 to present to him--accepting the effusions of ,magdalene's penitent heart with tender consolation1 ,o how near does this bring the ,divinity to us1 and how sweetly may we confide in such tenderness4 ,oh my friend1 ,he rests in his love4 ,let us rest in our confidence4 ,all shall be well4 ,when ,dr4 ,witherspoon visited ,scotland in the year #aghe1 he had frequent conversations with ,mrs4 ,graham on the subject of her removal to ,america4 ,she gave him at this time some reason to calculate on her going thither as soon as her children should have completed the course of education she had proposed for them4 ,she had entertained a strong partiality for ,america ever since her former residence there1 and had indulged a secret expectation of returning4 ,it was her opinion1 and that of many pious people1 that ,america was the country where the church of ,christ would preeminently flourish4 ,she was therefore desirous to leave her offspring there4 ,after some correspondence with ,dr4 ,witherspoon1 and consultation with pious friends1 her plan received the approbation of the latter2 and having had an invitation from many respectable characters in the city of ,new ,york1 with assurances of patronage and support1 she arranged her affairs for quitting ,edinburgh4 ,the ,algerines being then at war with the ,united ,states1 her friends insisted on her chartering a small ,british vessel to carry herself and family to the port of ,new ,york4 ,this increased her expenses2 but ,providence1 in faithfulness and mercy1 sent her at this time a remittance from ,dr4 ,henderson1 the young friend of ,dr4 ,graham1 who succeeded him as surgeon of the regiment2 and a legacy of two hundred pounds bequeathed her by ,lady ,glenorchy1 as a mark of her regard1 was now of great use to her4 ,thus in the month of ,july1 #aghi1 ,mrs4 ,graham once more prepared to go into a land which the ,lord seemed to tell her of4 ,the two following extracts from her private journal1 indicate the state of her mind and heart previous to leaving ,edinburgh4 ,,edinburgh1 ,march1 #aghi4 ,leave thy fatherless children1 ,i will preserve them alive2 and let thy widows trust in me1' ,jer4 #di3 #aa2 the ,lord's promise1 which he made to me in the days of my widowhood1 and which ,i have made the subject of my prayers from day to day1 taking the words in a spiritual sense4 ,the ,lord has done wonders for me and mine since the day ,i was left a widow with three orphans1 and the fourth not born1 in a strange land1 without money1 at a distance from friends2 or rather1 without friends4 ,hitherto he has supplied all my wants1 and laid to hand every necessary and many comforts2 supporting character and credit1 making a way for me through the wilderness1 pointing out my path1 and settling the bounds of my habitation4 ,for all these blessings ,i desire to be grateful to the ,god of providence1 whose is the earth and the fulness thereof2 but these ,i cannot take as the substance of the promise2 neither have they been the chief matter of my prayers4 ,the salvation and the life ,i have wrestled for1 is that which ,christ died to purchase1 and lives to bestow--even spiritual life1 and salvation from sin4 ,my ,god knows ,i have held fast this view of the words1 seeking first the kingdom of ,god for my children1 leaving temporals to be given or withheld1 as may best suit with the conversion and sanctification of their souls4 ,i have not asked for them health1 beauty1 riches1 honor1 or temporal life3 ,god knows what share of these consists with their better interests2 let him give or withhold accordingly4 ,one thing ,i have asked of the ,lord1 one thing only1 and will persist in asking1 trust in him for1 and for which ,i think ,i have his promise--even the life of their and my soul4 #a ,thess4 #e3bc1 is my petition for me and mine2 verse #bd1 my anchor of hope1 preceded by ,jeremiah #di3aa4 ,,edinburgh1 ,march #ag1 #aghi4 ,this day from the head of his own table did the ,lord1 by his servant ,mr4 ,r----1 proclaim his name the ,i ,,am1 and called on me to write under what ,i would1 for time and eternity4 ,my soul rejoices that ,god is1 and that he is what he is2 nothing less than himself can content me1 nothing more do ,i desire4 ,this great ,i ,,am is my portion--what can ,i ask beside8 ,he hath opened my eyes to see his excellency2 he hath determined my will1 to choose him for my portion4 ,he hath arranged and set in order a rich testament sealed by the blood of his own ,son1 containing every blessing for time and for eternity4 ,all my heart's desire is there promised1 and faith given to believe there shall be a full performance4 ,what have ,i to say then1 but1 ,amen1 do as thou hast said8 ,father1 glorify thy name4 ,thou hast said1 ',then will ,i sprinkle clean water upon you1 and ye shall be clean2 from all your filthiness and from all your idols will ,i cleanse you4 ,a new heart also will ,i give you1 and a new spirit will ,i put within you2 and ,i will take away the stony heart out of your flesh1 and ,i will give you a heart of flesh2 and ,i will put my ,spirit within you1 and cause you to walk in my statutes1 and ye shall keep my judgments and do them4 ,and ye shall dwell in the land that ,i gave to your fathers3 and ye shall be my people1 and ,i will be your ,god4' ,amen2 ,lord1 do as thou hast said4 ,behold1 ,i take hold of thy covenant for myself and for my children4 ,it is well ordered in all things1 and it is sure4 ,my heart accords to every part of it4 ,wilt thou guide us by thy counsel while we live1 and afterwards receive us to thy glory8 ,amen and amen--do as thou hast said4 ,if we forsake thy laws1 and go astray2 if we depart from thee and break thy commandments1 wilt thou visit our faults with rods1 and our sins with chastisements4 ,blessed promise2 amen1 ,lord1 do as thou hast said3 seeing thy loving-kindness is secured to us1 and thou wilt not cast us off from being thy people1 nor alter that which thou hast spoken2 wilt thou keep us as the apple of thine eye8 wilt thou cover us with the shadow of thy wing8 ,art thou my ,husband8 art thou the ,father of my fatherless children8 wilt thou be the stay of these orphans1 and their and my shield in a strange land8 wilt thou perfect what concerns us8 wilt thou care for us8 wilt thou never leave us1 never forsake us8 in the valley of the shadow of death shall thy rod and staff support us8 ,what can thy servant say but1 ,amen1 do as thou hast said4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,school ,,in ,,new ,,york--,,death ,,of ,,her ,,pastor ,,dr4 ,,john ,,mason--,,last ,,news ,,of ,,her ,,son4 ,,mrs4 ,,graham1 after a pleasant though tedious voyage1 landed in ,new ,york on the #hth day of ,september1 #aghi1 where she and her family were received with the greatest cordiality and confidence4 ,the late ,rev4 ,dr4 ,rodgers and ,rev4 ,dr4 ,john ,mason were especially kind to her4 ,she came eminently prepared to instruct her pupils in all the higher branches of female education2 and the favorable change effected by her exertions was soon visible in the minds1 manners1 and accomplishments of the young ladies committed to her care4 ,she opened her school on the #eth of ,october1 #aghi1 with five scholars1 and before the end of the same month the number increased to fifty4 ,she not only imparted knowledge to her pupils1 but also1 by her conversation and example1 prepared their minds to receive it in such a manner as to apply it to practical advantage4 ,while she taught them to regard external accomplishments as ornaments to the female character1 she was careful to recommend the practice of virtue as the highest accomplishment of all1 and to inculcate the principles of religion as the only solid foundation for morality and virtue4 ,the annual examinations of her scholars were always well attended1 and gave great satisfaction4 ,general ,washington while at ,new ,york honored her with his patronage4 ,the venerable and amiable ,bishop of the ,episcopal church in the state of ,new ,york1 then the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,benjamin ,moore1 was never once absent from those examinations4 ,she was sensible of his friendship1 and always spoke of him in terms of great esteem and respect4 ,she united in communion with the church under the pastoral care of the ,kev4 ,dr4 ,mason4 ,this excellent man was her faithful friend and wise counsellor4 ,under his ministry her two daughters1 ,joanna and ,isabella1 joined the church in the year #agia4 ,her eldest daughter ,jessie1 who had made a profession of religion in ,scotland1 was married in ,july1 #agij1 to ,mr4 ,hay ,stevenson1 merchant of ,new ,york1 and she became a member of the church under the care of ,dr4 ,rodgers1 where her husband attended4 ,in the year #agia her son1 who had been left in ,scotland to complete his education1 paid his mother a visit4 ,mrs4 ,graham1 considering herself as inadequate to the proper management of a son1 had at an early period of his life sent him to the care of a friend1 who had promised to pay due attention to his morals and education4 ,the boy had a warm affectionate heart1 but possessed1 at the same time1 a bold and fearless spirit4 ,such a disposition1 under proper management1 might have been formed into a noble character2 but he was neglected1 and left in a great measure to himself by his first preceptor4 ,for two years of his life he was under the care of ,mr4 ,murray1 teacher of an academy at ,abercorn4 ,he was a man truly qualified for his station4 ,he instructed his pupils with zeal2 led even their amusements2 and to an exemplary piety added the faithful counsel of a friend4 ,he loved1 and was therefore beloved4 ,under his superintendence ,john ,graham improved rapidly1 and gained the affections of his teacher and companions4 ,happy for him had he continued in such a suitable situation4 ,he was removed to ,edinburgh to receive a more classical education4 ,being left there by his mother and sisters1 the impetuosity of his temper and a propensity for a sea-faring life induced his friends to place him as an apprentice in the merchant-service4 ,he was shipwrecked on the coast of ,holland1 and ,mr4 ,gibson of ,rotterdam1 a friend of ,mrs4 ,graham1 took him to his house1 and enabled him to come to the ,united ,states4 ,he remained at ,new ,york for some months4 ,his mother deemed it his duty to return to ,scotland to complete his time of service4 ,he evidently inclined to the profession of a sailor2 she therefore fitted him out handsomely1 and he embarked for ,greenock in the same ship with ,mr4 ,john ,m4 ,mason1 the only son of ,dr4 ,john ,mason1 who went to attend the theological lectures at the ,divinity ,hall in ,edinburgh4 ,the following extract shows the anguish of ,mrs4 ,graham's mind in parting with her son1 and how she cast him upon the covenant mercy of her ,god1 placing a blank1 as to temporal things1 in her ,lord's hand1 but holding on with a fervent faith and hope to the promise of spiritual life4 ,,new ,,york1 ,may #bj1 #agia4 ,this day my only son left me in bitter wringings of heart3 he is again launched on the ocean1 ,god's ocean4 ,the ,lord saved him from shipwreck1 brought him to my home1 and allowed me once more to indulge the yearning of my heart over him4 ,short has been the time he has been with me1 and ill have ,i improved it3 he is gone from my sight1 and my heart bursts with tumultuous grief4 ,lord1 have mercy on the widow's son--'the only son of his mother1 and she a widow1' ,i ask nothing in all this world for him3 ,i repeat my petition--save his soul alive2 give him salvation from sin4 ,it is not the danger of the seas that distresses me2 it is not the hardships he must undergo2 it is not the dread of never seeing him more in this world3 it is because ,i cannot discern the fulfilment of the promise in him4 ,i discern not the new birth nor its fruits1 but every symptom of captivity to ,satan1 the world1 and self-will4 ,this1 ,o this is what distresses me3 and in connection with this1 his being shut out from ordinances1 at a distance from ,christians2 and shut up with those who forget ,god1 profane his name1 and break his ,sabbaths4 ,o ,lord1 many wonders hast thou shown me2 thy ways of dealing with me and mine have not been common2 add this wonder to the rest3 call1 convert1 regenerate1 and establish a sailor in the faith4 ,lord1 all things are possible with thee3 glorify thy ,son1 and extend his kingdom by sea and land2 take the prey from the strong4 ,i roll him over upon thee4 ,many friends try to comfort me2 miserable comforters are they all4 ,thou art the ,god of consolation2 only confirm to me thy gracious word1 on which thou causedst me to hope in the day when thou saidst to me1 ',leave thy fatherless children1 ,i will preserve them alive4' ,only let this life be a spiritual life1 and ,i put a blank in thy hand as to all temporal things4 ',i wait for thy salvation4' ,amen4 ,three months afterwards she learned that a press-gang had boarded the ship in which her son was1 and although he was saved from their grasp by a stratagem of the passengers1 yet all his effects were taken away from him4 ,in the following reflections on this event1 the anxious mother shows that she would not withdraw the blank she had put into her ,redeemer's hands4 ,,new ,,york1 ,august #ah1 #agia4 ,thus far the ,lord hath tried me1 and kept me to my choice4 ,this night ,i have tidings1 through a letter to ,dr4 ,mason1 that my son has been seized by the press-gang4 ,through ,god's help1 he escaped2 but all his assortment of necessaries that his sisters and ,i made up with so much care1 labor1 and expense1 they have carried off1 and he is once more left naked4 ,satan and a corrupt heart unite in tempting me to complain4 ,dare ,i utter a word or harbor a murmuring thought8 ,would ,i withdraw the blank ,i have put into the ,redeemer's hand8 ,has he not hitherto done all things well8 ,have not my own afflictions been my greatest blessings8 ,have not ,i asked for my children their mother's portion8 ,has not ,god chiefly made use of afflictions as means of hedging me in1 and shutting me up to my choice of this portion1 as well as showing me that ,he is a sufficient portion without any other8 ,when matters have been at the worst with me as to this world1 my triumphs in ,god have been highest1 and prospects for eternity brightest4 ,has the ,lord given me in some measure victory over the world8 ,do its honors1 riches1 and gaudy splendor appear to me empty and vain1 and not worth an anxious thought8 ,does provision of food and raiment by the way through this wilderness seem all that is necessary8 and is it my wish1 as well as form of prayer1 that the ,lord may give that in kind and degree which he sees fittest for me8 ,and shall ,i covet that for my child which ,i despise for myself8 ,alas1 ,lord1 it is because he feeds not on better things1 and sometimes ,i fear he has no better portion4 ,still1 still foolish4 ,was it when ,i was full1 or when in want1 that ,i returned to my heavenly ,father8 ,do ,i desire1 have ,i asked and persisted in asking for my children1 salvation from sin and self8 ,do ,i anxiously wish them to reach and to surpass my present measure of submission and resignation to thy will--to enjoy ,god in all things1 and nothing without him8 ,and shall ,i1 dare ,i complain when ,i see the ,lord making use of the same means which first brought me to myself1 and recovered me also from numberless backslidings since ,i first tasted the blessedness of his chosen8 ,lord1 ,i renew my blank4 ,i afresh roll them all over upon thee4 ,i will try to look on1 in the faith that all things shall work together for good to their souls1 and that ,i shall yet see the day1 or if ,i see it not1 that it will come1 when they shall bow at thy footstool1 sink into the open arms of thy mercy in ,christ1 melted down in holy1 humble1 acquiescing1 cordial submission to thy severest dealings with them2 when thou shalt put a new song into their mouths1 and they shall sing as ,i do now1 ,it hath been very good for me that ,i have been afflicted4 ,i wait for thy salvation4 ,amen4 ,again we mark her trust in ,god in the more common events of life1 and her gratitude in the reception of blessings from his hand4 ,,new ,,york1 ,september1 #agia4 ,many have been my burdens of late2 strangers laid upon me to provide for1 even when ,i thought ,i had not sufficient to give to all their due and provide for my own family4 ,but what is that to me8 the ,lord increases business1 lays more largely to hand1 bears me and my burdens1 provides for me and strangers4 ,lord1 it is all well3 give when thou wilt1 and call for it again when and for what purpose thou wilt2 it is thine own4 ,i am thine1 and all that thou givest me is thine2 the world calls it mine1 but ,i call it thine4 ,if it be thy will1 lead me in a plain path1 or if thou lead me by a way which ,i know not1 hold up my goings1 so shall ,i be in peace and safety still4 ,amen4 ,,new ,,york1 ,october #aj1 #agia4 ,this day did the ,lord's sent servant1 in a solemn manner1 take us all to witness1 and call in the witness of angels1 that we had once more avouched ourselves to be the ,lord's1 and that once more ,christ and his salvation had been offered to all within the walls4 ,this same day1 for the second time1 have my two daughters sat down at the ,redeemer's table among his professing people1 and1 ,i have reason to think1 given their hearty assent to his covenant4 ,glory1 glory1 glory1 to the hearer of prayer4 ,i have cast my fatherless children on the ,lord1 and he has begun to make good my confidence4 ,one thing1 one only thing have ,i asked for them1 leaving every thing else to be bestowed or withheld as consisting with that3 ,i seek for my four children and myself1 first of all1 the kingdom of ,god4 ,my ,god from day to day adds many other comforts1 and strengthens my hopes by promising appearances1 that the grain of mustard seed is sown in the hearts of my three daughters4 ,they have joined themselves to the people of ,god1 and ,i have reason to think the ,lord has ratified their surrender of themselves to him2 he has made them willing for the time1 and he will hedge them in to the choice they have made4 ,saturday1 ,september1 #agia1 the ,lord made me a grandmother1 assisted my poor weakly girl1 and gave a son to her and my arms4 ',there was joy that a man-child was born into the world1' and according to that word 'she remembered no more the anguish4' ,thanks be to ,god for this salvation2 but1 ,lord1 this is but a small thing with thee4 ,look1 ,o look on this twig from a guilty stock2 poor1 helpless1 feeble creature1 it can do nothing for its body1 and still less for its soul4 ,o ,god of the spirits of all flesh1 give it a plunge in the blood of ,jesus--cleanse1 ,o cleanse him from original sin1 and now1 even now1 in thy own sovereign and mysterious way1 sow the grain of mustard seed in his soul4 ,in the spring of #agib1 ,mrs4 ,graham and her family were called to a severe trial by the translation of their beloved pastor1 ,dr4 ,mason1 to a better world4 ,a few months before his decease1 while preaching to his people1 his recollection failed1 his sermon was gone from his mind1 and he sat down in his pulpit unable to proceed4 ,after a short pause1 he arose and addressed his people in a pious and affectionate strain2 he considered this event as a call from his heavenly ,master to expect a speedy dismission from the earth1 and solemnly admonished them also to be prepared for the will of ,god4 ,his people1 who loved him1 were affected to tears4 ,an illness soon followed1 which terminated in the death of the body4 ,he departed on the night when ,mrs4 ,graham took her turn of watching with him1 and she closed his eyes1 which she always accounted a privilege and honor bestowed upon her by her divine ,master4 ,but this tender and affecting scene is best described in a letter which she wrote to her sympathizing friend ,mrs4 ,walker1 of ,edinburgh4 ,,new ,,york1 ,april1 #agib1 ,sabbath noon4 ,,my ,,dear ,,madam--,it is not my custom to take my pen on this day even to write to a ,christian friend1 having occasion for the whole time with my family or in secret with my ,god2 but ,i cannot go to dinner1 ,i cannot eat1 ,i cannot talk to my girls2 my heart must bleed afresh on the same altar upon which it has often been pierced4 ,o1 madam1 my dear ,dr4 ,mason goes1 and leaves me here alone3 in all probability his course is nearly finished1 and his crown awaits him4 ,five physicians now attend him closely4 ,i have seen him often1 and he says1 ',all is well1 all will be well1' ,of the physicians he said1 ',yes1 yes1 it is very well2 they are useful men in ,god's hand2 they may be instrumental in patching up the tabernacle a little4 ,if it be raised to usefulness1 ,i am content2 if not to usefulness1 ,i do not desire it4 ,i feel no concern about the issue of this2 the will of the ,lord be done4' ,i say1 ,amen2 but ,oh1 ,i feel alone4 ,i should need large communications from his ,master to fill up this blank4 ,i cannot write for weeping2 now my face is so swelled ,i cannot go to church4 ,i called at his house this morning1 found the doctors in the parlor1 and learned from them the worst4 ,the bell was ringing for church4 ,i stifled as much as possible my grief2 would fain have come home to give it vent1 but durst not be absent from the house of ,god4 ,i heard a stranger in ,dr4 ,rodgers' church2 our doors are closed2 his text was1 ',henceforth ,i call you not servants1 but friends2' he ran the parallel between human friendship and that subsisting between ,christ and his disciples4 ,i ought to be comforted1 nay1 ,i am comforted4 ,the ,bible lies open before me2 it is full of consolation2 but all is in prospect4 ,i look at ,god1 what he is in himself1 what he is to his people now and what he will be to eternity3 the consolations of hope are mine2 but for the present1 ,i feel like the sparrow on the house-top1 or like a pelican in the wilderness2 and when ,i think on my years and the robustness of my constitution1 and that ,i may have a long journey before me1 ,i am not able to look at it4 ,at the same time1 when ,i consider my children1 who1 having lost their pastor1 who bore them on his heart to the throne of grace1 have double need of a mother1 ,i dare not indulge a wish1 far less put up a petition for release4 ,o1 that ,i could get under the influence of that spirit which ,i have witnessed in my dear pastor--that entire confidence in ,god--that perfect resignation to his will--that complacency in all he has done1 is doing1 or will do--that rest in ,god1 of which he seems to be put in possession even now1 while his breast is laboring and heaving like a broken bellows1 and he cannot fetch one full breath4 ,o1 what cannot ,god effect4 ,,sunday ,,evening4 ,i have again seen my dear pastor1 and discern the clay dissolving fast4 ,the words of dying saints are precious1 and his are few4 ,he thus accosted me3 ',i am just waiting the will of ,god2 for the present ,i seem a useless blank in his hand2 ,i can say very little2 be not too anxious for my life1 but transfer your care to the church2 my life or death is but a trifle2 if the ,lord have any use for me1 it is easy for him to raise me up still2 and if he do1 it will be agreeable to observe his hand distinct from men2 if he should not1 you will all be cared for2 leave all to him and seek his glory4' ,he could say no more1 nor will ,i to-night1 but address myself to our ,lord on his behalf1 yours1 my own1 and our dear concerns4 ,several days have elapsed since ,i last wrote2 our dear doctor still lives1 often recruits1 and again is reduced2 but man can do no more2 my last page1 before the vessel sails1 shall be of him4 ,as to myself and family1 we are as the ,lord would have it with us1 and ,i make no doubt as we need4 ,business very full2 a house full of boarders1 and about sixty scholars4 ,i begin to feel the effects of fatigue or age1 ,i know not which4 ,the almond-tree flourishes2 those that look out at the windows begin to be darkened2 but the keepers of the house stand firm1 and all the wheels and springs discharge their office1 though more heavily2 there is no judging of my days by present appearances4 ,well1 let me once more return to my rest--,god2 commit my way to him1 who shall bring to pass what is best1 and in the end shall complete my happiness4 ,,april #bc1 ,,monday4 ,it is finished4 ,my dear minister's bitter draught is over4 ,on ,thursday1 the #aith of this month1 a quarter before ten o'clock1 ,a4,m41 the ,lord received his spirit and laid his weary flesh to rest4 ,he had a sore conflict with the king of terrors1 who seemed allowed to revel through every part of his mortal frame3 his legs were mortified to his knees2 he had not been able to lie down for four weeks1 and died in his chair4 ,like his ,master1 he groaned1 but never complained3 he had a draught of his ,master's cup1 but the bitter ingredient desertion made no part of it4 ,i had the honor to close his dear eyes1 and to shut those dear lips from whence so many precious truths have proceeded1 and to mix with the ministering spirits who attended to hail the released4 ,this honor ,i had desired1 but did not reckon myself worthy1 and hardly hoped for it2 but the ,lord saw the wish1 though never formed into a petition1 and indulged me4 ,i bless him for it4 ,and now1 farewell human friendships2 let me gird up the loins of my mind1 and run with patience the little further1 looking unto ,jesus1 and following also him my pastor1 'who1 through faith and patience1 now inherits the promises4' ,this is a great work finished4 ,dr4 ,mason was 'a city set on a hill4' ,he was with the army during all the war after the evacuation of ,new ,york2 had great influence over the soldiers2 preached the gospel of peace uniformly1 but never meddled with politics1 though he was fully capable4 ,in every situation the ,lord supported him in uniformity and consistency of character1 and carried him through without a single spot or stain4 ,glory to ,god in the highest for this repeated proof of his faithfulness4 ',mark the perfect man1 and behold the upright1 for the end of that man is peace4' ,i4 ,,graham4 ,great was the grief of ,dr4 ,mason's congregation on his removal4 ,in him1 to great learning were united meekness1 prudence1 diligence1 and knowledge of the world1 and an affectionate superintendence of the interests1 spiritual and temporal1 of his flock4 ,he so arranged his avocations and studies in regard to time1 that he had always a few hours in the afternoon to devote to visiting the families of his congregation4 ,so regular was the order he observed1 that ,mrs4 ,graham and her family knew when to calculate on seeing him1 and always expected him with the anticipation of profit and pleasure4 ,once every week they were sure of seeing him1 if in health4 ,his visits were short1 his conversation serious1 awakening1 instructive1 and affectionate4 ,he inquired about their temporal affairs1 and in cases of difficulty gave them his best advice4 ,his counsels were salutary2 his knowledge of the world and his discrimination of character rendered him well qualified to advise4 ,in one of his visits to ,mrs4 ,graham she mentioned to him the want of good servants as one of her trials4 ,mrs4 ,graham1 said he1 have you ever prayed to the ,lord to provide good servants for you8 ,nothing which interests our comfort is too minute for the care of our heavenly ,father4 ,to one of her daughters1 who felt a strong inclination to profess her faith in ,christ by joining the communion of his church1 but yet was afraid that her heart was not sufficiently engaged for the service of ,god1 ,dr4 ,mason proposed the following question3 ,if1 said he1 the world1 with all its wealth1 pleasures1 and power1 were placed in one scale1 and ,christ alone in the other1 which would your heart freely choose as a portion8 ,on her replying there would be no hesitation as to her choice of ,christ1 he gave her encouragement to profess her faith1 although it might not at present amount to the full assurance of hope4 ,he was indeed a faithful shepherd of his flock1 and his people mourned for him as for an affectionate father4 ,it is much to be desired that his example were more followed by ,christian pastors4 ,to preach with eloquence and acceptance is a talent of great value in a minister of the gospel2 this makes him respected1 and his congregation admire him1 because1 for one reason1 they are proud of him2 but to gain their affections1 to make a congregation the children of an aged pastor1 or the friends and brethren of a younger one1 let the minister visit the families of his people2 this will seal on their hearts the regard which their understandings had already dictated4 ,very few ministers have been more remarkable for a strict attention to this duty1 than the late ,dr4 ,john ,mason and his venerable and attached friend ,dr4 ,rodgers4 ,when the former died1 the latter exclaimed1 ,i feel as if ,i had lost a right arm4 ,the congregation1 bereaved of their pastor1 wrote immediately to his son1 the late ,rev4 ,dr4 ,john ,mitchell ,mason1 to hasten his return from ,edinburgh to ,new ,york2 and after preaching to them with great acceptance for several months1 he was ordained and installed pastor of the church in ,april1 #agic4 ,mrs4 ,graham entertained for him the most affectionate attachment1 and this attachment was reciprocal4 ,at this date we find some of ,mrs4 ,graham's delightful devotional exercises4 ,,new ,,york1 #agic4 ,blessed ,lord1 thou hast1 to the praise of thy grace1 given me the heritage of them that fear thy name2 thou hast prepared my heart to pray1 and inclined thine ear to hear2 thou hast drawn me into thy fold1 and hast fed me in thy green pastures4 ,i rejoice in ,israel's ,shepherd2 not one of his flock shall be lost4 ,often have ,i wandered from his presence and sought pasture among the swine1 but my ,shepherd has ever drawn or driven me back4 ,he has a rod and ,i have felt it2 but ,i bless the hand and kiss the rod4 ,o1 how wonderful to look back and see 'all the way by which he has led me1 to prove me1 to try me1 to show me what was in my heart1 that he might do me good at my latter end4' ,amen1 my ,god1 ,i leave myself in thy hands4 ,i should lose myself2 but thou wilt keep me from foes without and foes within4 ,what then have ,i to care for8 ,my ,shepherd careth for all2 he slumbers not nor sleeps1 and he will perfect what concerns me2 of this ,i am as sure as that ,i now write it4 ,the law of thy mouth is better unto me than gold and silver4 ,o how ,i love thy law1 it is my meditation all the day4 ,thou1 through thy commandments--or the whole of thy truth--hast made me wiser than my teachers4 ,the law of ,god makes the simple wise4 ,how sweet are thy words unto my taste1 yea1 sweeter than honey to my mouth4 ,through thy precepts ,i get understanding1 therefore ,i hate every false way4 ',thy word is a lamp unto my feet1 and a light unto my path4' ,how safe1 how happy are they who are taught by the word of ,god4 ',blessed art thou1 ,simon ,barjona1 for flesh and blood hath not taught thee this1 but my ,father who is in heaven4' ,o my children1 enrich your minds with a full acquaintance with the word of ,god2 lay it up in your memories1 when you can do nothing more2 be assured1 if ever you are made wise unto salvation1 it must be by this word2 if ever you are taught of ,god1 he will teach you by the words contained in the ,bible4 ',search the ,scriptures1 for they are they which testify of me2' search the ,scriptures1 for in them are contained the words of eternal life4 ',be followers of them who1 through faith and patience1 now inherit the promises4' ,holy ,david went forward1 heavenward1 improving in the knowledge of ,god1 of himself1 and of ,god's plan of salvation for ruined sinners1 by studying the word1 the works1 and the providences of ,god1 but chiefly the word of ,god2 praying for1 watching for the influences of ,god's ,spirit on his judgment and thinking powers3 it was by this that he became wiser than his teachers4 ,he was a king1 and had the cares of the nation to occupy his mind2 he was a man of war1 and had that art to study4 ,but ,o1 the privilege of the ,christian6 he goes through every part1 even of his earthly way1 leaning upon ,god4 ,david could say1 even of war1 ',the ,lord teaches my hands to war1 and my fingers to fight4' ',the ,lord subdued the people under me4' ,in temporals and in spirituals1 he is my shield1 my strength1 my buckler1 my strong tower4' ,i shall not fear what man can do unto me4' ',in ,judah's land ,god is well known2 there he brake the spear1 the bow1 and the battle4' ,he ascribes all to ,god4 ,we hear nothing of his own wisdom1 his disciplined armies1 his order of battle and warlike powers1 though attention to all these was his duty1 and not neglected by him4 ,he devoted all his natural talents to ,god2 he exercised them diligently1 but still he knew and acted under the influence of that knowledge1 that unless the ,lord build the house1 the builders lose their pains2 unless the ,lord keep the city1 the watchmen watch in vain4 ,he1 as well as worldly men1 chose the means best adapted to the end proposed4 ,let natural men assert1 and let it be admitted1 that ,david knew better how to use a sling and a stone1 than mail1 helmet1 and sword2 therefore he chose them4 ,but follow ,david until he meets the hostile foe4 ,do we hear a word of his art as a slinger1 as a marksman8 though we may suppose he was expert at both4 ',thou comest to me with a sword1 a spear1 and a shield2 but ,i come in the name of the ,lord of hosts1 the ,god of the armies of ,israel whom thou hast defied2 and this assembly shall know that the ,lord saveth not with sword and spear'--these are not essential--'for the battle is the ,lord's1 and he will give you into our hands4' ,how comfortably might ,christians go through life did they walk with ,god in their daily business and occupations1 carefully observing the leadings of ,providence1 cautiously avoiding either running before or lagging behind2 but in all things making their requests known to ,god2 at all times committing their way to him1 being careful about nothing1 but to use with diligence the means of grace1 and also the means of acquiring the good things of life1 leaving the issues of both to ,god1 in the full assurance that what is good the ,lord will give4 ',trust in the ,lord1 and do good2 so shalt thou dwell in the land1 and verily thou shalt be fed4' ,in spirituals and in temporals1 'the hand of the diligent maketh rich4' ,be 'not slothful in business1 fervent in spirit1 serving the ,lord4' ,lord1 teach me thy law graciously1 in all its perfection1 its extent1 order1 beauty1 and harmony1 and grant me all the assistance provided to enable a lost1 depraved1 corrupted child of ,adam1 to set out in thy good ways1 to go forward1 and to finish in the same course2 and all the consolation1 joy1 and peace which thou hast provided to be enjoyed in a measure even here1 and to be perfected in the world to come4 ,amen4 ',o ,israel1 return unto the ,lord1 for thou hast fallen by thine iniquity4' ,hos4 #ad4 ,yes1 fallen1 ,o how fallen from ,god the only good1 the fountain of happiness4 ,lost his image1 which was the glory of man in paradise4 ,lost that sweet complacency and delight in his perfections and attributes which innocence enjoyed4 ,lost rectitude of reason and judgment4 ,no longer can we judge of excellence1 no longer love what ,god loves4 ,our wills no longer straight with his will1 but crooked1 opposing ,god1 and choosing evil instead of good4 ',o ,israel1 thou hast destroyed thyself1 but in me is thy help4' ,amen1 says my soul1 in thee is my help4 ,,new ,,york1 ,october #c1 #agic4 ',one shall say1 ,i am the ,lord's1 and another shall call himself by the name of ,jacob2 and another shall subscribe with his hand unto the ,lord1 and surname himself by the name of ,israel4' ,isaiah #dd3e4 ,i1 as one1 subscribe to the truth of all that ,god has said3 ,i1 as one1 subscribe my assent to all he has done4 ,i set my amen to his well-ordered covenant1 well-ordered in all things1 and sure4 ,and this is the covenant1 even ,christ1 the sum and substance1 for he hath given him to be a covenant of the people4 ,the whole and every part of it is ,god's covenant4 ,to me it must be a testament1 the new testament in ,christ's blood4 ,to me it must be a covenant of gifts and promises4 ,i can be no party1 having nothing to give2 nothing with which to covenant4 ,he hath said1 ',thou hast destroyed thyself1 but in me is thy help4' ,amen4 ,be my help1 my deliverer4 ',look unto me1 all ye ends of the earth1 and be saved2 for ,i am ,god1 and there is none else4' ,i do look unto thee alone for salvation4 ,thou art ,god2 there is none else3 besides thee there is no ,saviour4 ',i will pour water on the thirsty1 and floods on the parched ground4 ,i will pour my ,spirit upon thy seed1 and my blessing upon thy offspring4' ,amen4 ,i yield my soul into thy hand1 dry and parched1 to receive thy showers of reviving1 quickening1 fructifying grace4 ,writing about this date to her beloved friend ,mrs4 ,o---- of ,edinburgh1 ,mrs4 ,graham1 for the encouragement of her friend1 gives her1 in confidence1 the following record of her own ,christian experience3 ,it is now4 ,i think1 thirty-five years since ,i simply1 but solemnly1 accepted of the ,lord's ,christ1 as ,god's gift to a lost world4 ,i rolled my condemned1 perishing1 corrupted soul upon this ,jesus1 exhibited in the gospel as a ,saviour from sin4 ,my views then were dark compared with what they now are3 but this ,i remember1 that at the time ,i felt heart-satisfying trust in the mercy of ,god1 as the purchase of ,christ2 and for a time rejoiced with joy scarce supportable1 singing almost continually the #ajc;d ,psalm4 ,i took a view of the promises of ,god1 and wrote out many of them1 and called them mine2 and among the foremost was that in ,psalm #hi3cj-cc2 and well has the ,lord kept me to it1 and made it good3 for1 my dear friend1 never was there a more unsteady1 unwatchful ,christian2 never did the children of ,israel's conduct in the wilderness depict any ,christian's heart and conduct in the gospel times better than mine2 and just so has the ,lord dealt with me4 ,when he slew me1 then ,i trusted in him2 when he gave me carnal ease and comfort1 ,i forgot my ,rock and rebelled4 ,often did ,i stumble too from legality1 instead of looking at my own weakness and impotence1 and trusting wholly in my ,redeemer's strength4 ,i was wroth with myself1 wondered at myself1 and thought it impossible ,i could be as ,i had been4 ,i made strong resolutions1 yea1 vows1 and became a slave in means to hedge in this wandering1 worldly1 vain1 flighty heart2 but1 alas1 a few months found me where ,i was1 with scarce a thought of ,god from morning to night2 prayer huddled over in words that had no effect on my heart2 and the fear of hell the chief restraint from sin or spur to duty4 ,then1 in general1 the ,lord had some affliction for me1 which laid me afresh at his feet1 and made me take a fresh grasp of ,christ1 and a fresh view of his covenant3 then again ,i felt safety1 joy1 peace1 and happiness4 ,thus1 by line upon line1 by precept upon precept1 aye1 and by stripe upon stripe1 he taught me that ,i could not walk a moment alone4 ,this is now my fixed faith2 and in proportion as ,i keep it in sight1 ,i walk safely2 but ,i still forget1 and still stumble and still fall2 but ,i am lifted up and taught lesson after lesson2 and ,i shall stumble and shall fall while sin is in me2 but the last stumble shall come1 and the last stripe shall be laid on1 and the last lesson taught1 and that which concerns me shall be perfected4 ,o1 then shall ,i look back1 and see 'all the way by which he has led me1 to prove me and try me1 and show me what was in my heart1 that he might do me good in my latter end4' ,i am often1 even in this valley of darkness and ignorance1 allowed this retrospective view2 and am led to say not one word of all that he promised has failed4 ',hitherto the ,lord hath helped1 he hath been the guide of my youth1 and even unto hoar hairs will he lead me2' and when he calls me to pass through the valley of the shadow of death1 ,i shall even then fear no evil1 for his rod and staff shall support me2 and ,i shall enter into the presence of my ,redeemer1 white and clean1 dressed in his most perfect righteousness2 angels and saints shall know me in this glorious robe2 my ,redeemer will acknowledge me as his ransomed1 and ,i shall be for ever with the ,lord4 ,to ,mr4 ,a4,d41 ,edinburgh4 ,,new ,,york1 #agic4 ,i have just been reading over my dear friend's precious letters1 and am refreshed anew by the same truths and uniform experience of every ,christian2 which all amounts to this1 that the ,lord is the portion of his people1 and that whom he loves1 he loves to the end4 ,my soul melts with tenderness when ,i recollect my fellow-travellers in the wilderness2 those dear associates with whom ,i have so often taken sweet counsel2 who so often comforted me with the same comforts with which they themselves were comforted4 ,i am also led to recollect some who have finished their warfare2 some whose trials were sharp and long1 but who1 through the same grace in which we trust1 were steadfast to the end2 and now inherit a crown of life--the reward of grace1 not of debt4 ,i rejoice to hear that your children are promising2 ,i think it is the greatest comfort a parent can enjoy in this world4 ,i have a large share of it in my three daughters2 but my prodigal is not come to himself2 he still feeds on husks1 nor thinks of the plenty in his ,father's house4 ,i had great hopes last winter2 ,i heard he had been very ill in consequence of very severe treatment from his captain4 ,the ,lord has been emptying him from vessel to vessel1 and ,i have been waiting the issue2 but mine eyes almost fail4 ,i have great hopes that ,god's time of mercy will come4 ,i am also satisfied that it will be the best time2 but still ,i cry1 ,o how long8 ,my dear friends1 ,i think ,i would recommend it to you to keep your children about you4 ,no other had ever the influence over him that ,i had2 and ,i regret that ,i did not bring him with me4 ,our young ,timothy1 ,j4,m41 is a perfect champion for the gospel of ,jesus2 the ,lord has well girded him and largely endowed him2 he walks closely with ,god1 and speaks and preaches like a ,christian of long experience3 he was ordained about two months ago in his father's church1 and a few weeks after married a lady of eminent piety1 and preached all the day1 both the ,sabbath before and after3 no levity1 no novelty appeared in word or gesture1 which is not always the case with the best at such times4 ,there is probably no church in ,new ,york whose discipline is as strict1 nor one which has so many communicants4 ,he is reckoned a man of great talents and an orator2 and many of even the idle and careless go to hear him4 ,a few ,sabbaths ago he preached from these words1 ',i determined to know nothing among you1 save ,jesus ,christ1 and him crucified4' ,after proving that all the ,scriptures1 from the beginning of ,genesis to the end of ,revelation1 pointed to ,christ and his great work of redemption1 and asserting that that sermon could not be called the gospel of which ,he was not the subject1 he spoke home to his audience1 and told them that this1 through the aid of divine grace1 was his firm purpose--to dwell on redeeming love4 ,he was sure no subject would be welcome to any ,christian1 where ,christ was not to be found2 nor would any such subject ever convert a sinner2 and therefore1 if any were about to take their place there1 expecting to hear any new or strange thing1 let them not disappoint themselves4 ,o1 for a thankful heart2 the ,lord has indeed done wonders for me and mine2 and blessed be his name for his mercy also1 that in a remarkable manner1 by a strange concurrence of circumstances1 he hedged me in to become a member of this congregation1 where ,i am led and fed with the same truths which nourished my soul in ,zion's gates at ,edinburgh2 and ,i am helped to sing the ,lord's song in a foreign land4 ,often have ,i been tempted to hang my harp upon the willow1 'when ,zion ,i thought on2' but this was1 and sometimes still is my sin and ingratitude1 for ,i ought to build houses1 and plant vineyards1 and seek the good of the land2 for he has a small vineyard here1 which he waters and cultivates1 and ,i ought to labor therein1 and do whatsoever my hand findeth to do with diligence1 and say1 ',the earth is the ,lord's1 and the fulness thereof2 heaven is his throne1 the earth his footstool1' and he fills all things and all places4 ',what aileth thee1 ,hagar8' ,o what a ,god of mercy is our ,god6 ,often has he hailed me in some such language3 ',what aileth thee8' why is thy countenance sad8 am ,i not better to thee than ten friends8 ,then has he turned my heart to him1 made me feel myself close to him2 he has suffered me to lean on his bosom1 hang on his arm1 and lisp out1 ,abba4 ,at such blest moments ,i have thought the whole earth but one point1 and from that to heaven but one step1 and the time between but as one moment2 and my company here sufficient to satisfy me by the way4 ,at such blest moments ,i felt perfect1 full1 entire satisfaction with all that ,god is1 all that he does2 and could trust him fully with all my concerns1 spiritual1 temporal1 and eternal4 ,but1 alas1 by and by1 like a peevish child1 ,i began to fret1 wish this1 wish that2 grieve for this1 grieve for that2 fear this1 fear that2 stagger1 stumble1 fall4 ,o what a ,god of patience and long-suffering4 ,and ,o how rich that well-ordered covenant1 that provides suitable grace for all these unsteady seasons4 ,it is my greatest consolation that the ,lord knows it all4 ,there are times when ,i cannot see him1 but every moment he sees me4 ,i should fall off and leave him1 but he holds me fast and never leaves me4 ,o blessed plan1 where ,god secures us in safety1 even from ourselves4 ,we have not only destroyed ourselves1 and he has been our help2 but we are ever destroying ourselves1 and still he renews this help4 ,well1 what shall we say8 ,father1 glorify thy name1 and let us lie in thy hand as clay in the potter's1 till thou finish thy workmanship1 and fit us vessels of mercy1 to be filled with happiness1 when thou shalt have done thy good pleasure in us1 and by us1 in this world1 through the grace that is in ,christ ,jesus1 who loved us1 and gave himself for us2 to whom be glory1 honor1 and praise in the church below1 and in the general assembly above1 now and ever4 ,amen4 ,my love1 my heart's love1 to my dear ,mrs4 ,d----4 ,i am ever your affectionate friend1 in the bonds of the gospel1 ,,isabella ,,graham4 ,early in #agic ,mrs4 ,graham heard1 from a worthy clergyman at ,greenock1 who1 at her request1 paid attention to her son1 that he had been very ill of a fever1 and subsequently subject to epileptic fits4 ,in one of these he had fallen from the mast-head1 and was rendered unfit for service for many months4 ,the gentleman to whom he was apprenticed1 permitted him to leave4 ,in these circumstances ,mrs4 ,graham addressed to him the following letter3 ,,my ,,long-,,lost ,,but ,,still ,,dear ,,son--,if this ever reach you1 hearken to the voice of your mother1 your only parent1 and to the voice of ,god by her4 ,o1 my son1 you have had a long race in the service of ,satan2 he has kept you in bondage and made you his drudge4 ,you are far advanced in the broad way that leads to destruction--to that place of endless torment prepared for the devil and his angels1 to which ,satan is dragging you4 ,he has even been seeking the destruction of your body1 that he might have you secure4 ,o1 my son1 think4 ,has he proved a good master8 ,what have you found in his service8 and has he not disappointed all your gayest hopes1 and fed you with husks8 ,have you1 my son1 been happy8 ,are you not obliged to drive away your own reflections8 ,i know you are4 ,dare you1 my son1 sit down and think over all the past1 all the present1 and look forward to the future with any degree of comfort8 ,my son1 you cannot4 ,hear then the word of the ,lord2 that ,lord1 that merciful ,lord1 who has seen you in all your rebellion1 heard every profane oath you may have uttered1 seen you rioting among the sons of ,belial2 yet what is his voice to you8 ,o1 my son1 it is not1 ',bind him hand and foot1 and cast him into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone2 where there is weeping1 and wailing1 and gnashing of teeth1 where the worm dieth not1 and the fire is not quenched4' ,no1 my son1 the door of mercy is still open to you2 the ,lord calls1 ',o sinner1 thou hast destroyed thyself1 but in me is thy help4' ,only repent1 so iniquity shall not prove your ruin4' ',hearken unto me1 ye stout-hearted1 that are far from righteousness3 ,i bring near my righteousness2 it shall not be far off1 and my salvation shall not tarry4' ',hear1 and your soul shall live4' ',believe in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 and thou shalt be saved'--saved from hell2 saved from ,satan and his snare2 saved from the force of corruption in your heart4 ,i do not call upon you1 my poor corrupt boy1 to turn from sin and work righteousness in your own strength2 this you can no more do than the ,ethiopian can change his skin2 but ,i do call upon you to receive the whole of ,god's salvation1 and power to resist sin is a principal part of it4 ,in ,god's word it is said1 that the ,lord gave ,christ to be a covenant to the people3 we have to covenant with him on our part2 we are all poor1 lost1 miserable creatures1 ,i as well as you1 by nature2 but the ,lord ,christ is ,god's gift to sinners4 ,all the other promises are made to those who have received and accepted of this gift2 but ,christ himself is ,god's gift to sinners--to the chief of sinners--to you1 ,john ,graham1 by name2 and the ,bible says1 to as many as receive him1 to them gives he power to become the sons of ,god4 ,god gave ,christ to become the price in our hand2 we take this gift1 and offer back1 as the price of our redemption1 his atoning sacrifice1 his all-perfect righteousness2 and on this ground we are entitled1 by his own plan1 which he prepared from first to last1 to plead for the full accomplishment of all the promises in the ,bible3 for the pardon of sin2 yea1 for an entire new nature4 ,o1 my son1 open your ,bible1 go to your knees1 look out words there fit for your case2 present them humbly before ,god1 turn all the promises you find there1 all the offers1 all the calls1 all the commands1 all the threatenings into prayer--for you of yourself can do nothing--and ask that ,god1 for ,christ's sake1 may pour out on you the spirit of prayer4 ,i know not how to have done2 yet ,i well know1 unless the ,lord soften your poor obdurate heart1 it will still remain hard4 ,o1 my son1 be willing to put it in his hand1 to receive his salvation1 and give yourself up to his guiding4 ,i beg you will read with care the #aeth chapter of the gospel of ,luke4 ,the ,lord spoke these parables to show how very willing he is to receive returning sinners4 ,your mother and all your sisters are willing to follow his example2 return to us1 my son4 ,we will watch over you we will pray over you1 and we will try1 by every endearing method1 to restore you not only to health1 but to comfort4 ,your sisters wish you to come2 all your friends are willing to receive you2 we will not upbraid you4 ,do1 my dear1 leave ,greenock2 come out to us by any way you can find1 ,i will pay your passage here2 or if you can get to any port in ,america1 you can write me from that1 and ,i will get you forwarded here2 and1 after you are here1 if you still wish to follow the sea1 we can get you a berth in some trading vessel from this4 ,all your friends here send best wishes4 ,and now1 my son1 ,i commend you to the ,lord4 ,o1 that he may bless this to you1 ,your affectionate mother1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,the last intelligence that ,mrs4 ,graham received of her unfortunate son was in a letter from himself1 dated ,demarara1 #agid1 in which he states that he had sailed from ,amsterdam in a ,dutch vessel2 was taken by the ,french1 and retaken by the ,english2 had arrived at ,demarara in the ship ,hope2 and should he not soon hear from his mother1 would return to ,europe with a fleet which was shortly to sail under convoy4 ,mrs4 ,graham notices this event as follows3 ,,new ,,york1 ,february #bj1 #agid4 ,this day ,i have a letter from my poor wanderer4 ,it is more than a year since ,i heard of him4 ,accept of my thanks1 good and gracious ,lord4 ,i feared his cup had been full1 and he called out of the world with all his sins on his own head2 for ,i have no tidings of his turning from his sinful courses1 or fleeing from the wrath to come1 by taking hold of the hope set before him4 ,i bless thee1 ,oh1 ,i bless thee1 for thy sparing mercy1 thy long-suffering1 thy patience1 thy forbearance4 ,yea1 even to him1 thou hast been more than all this4 ,thou hast been his preserver1 his provider2 thou hast watched over him in many imminent dangers1 in the great deeps1 in burning and in frozen climes4 ,thou hast followed him with thy preserving mercy and temporal bounty4 ,he is still in the land of the living1 and among those who are called to look unto thee and live4 ,still thou feedest my hopes of better things for him4 ,thou sufferest my prayers to lie on the table of thy covenant4 ,i will trust1 ,i will hope1 ,i will believe1 that in an accepted time thou wilt hear me1 and in a day of thy power thou wilt bow his stubborn will1 and lay him an humble suppliant at thy feet4 ,oh1 ,i trust thou wilt bring this poor prodigal to himself1 and turn his steps towards his ,father's house4 ,see how he feeds with the swine upon husks1 and even these not his own4 ,o turn his thoughts to his ',father's house1 where there is bread enough1 and to spare4' ',lord1 remember thy gracious word1 on which thou hast caused me to hope1' and which has ever been my comfort in the time of my affliction1 and in my straits my only relief4 ,he is again launched into thy great ocean4 ,lord1 he is far from every friend and from every means of grace1 and for any thing ,i know1 far from thee by wicked works2 under thy curse and hateful in thy sight2 but thou1 ,god1 seest him4 ,means are not necessary1 if thou willest to work without4 ,thou canst find an avenue to his heart at once4 ,dead as he is1 vile as he is1 guilty as he is1 far from help of man1 and in the most unlikely situation to receive the help of ,god1 yet ,i know all these hinderances1 all these mountains shall melt as wax at thy presence4 ,lord1 ,i believe1 thou knowest ,i believe1 that if thou but speak the word1 this dead soul shall live2 this vile1 this guilty soul shall be cleansed1 shall be renewed1 and my son be changed to an humble1 thankful1 genuine child of ,god1 through the cleansing blood of atonement1 through the imputation of the ,redeemer's righteousness and the implantation of thy ,spirit4 ,i can do nothing for him1 but thou canst do all this4 ,i wait for it1 ,lord1 ,i wait for thy salvation4 ,lord1 let there be 'joy in heaven over this one sinner repenting4' ,i roll him on thee4 ,i trust in thy sovereign1 free1 unmerited mercy in ,christ4 ,amen4 ,all inquiries instituted by kind friends respecting this son proved fruitless2 and as a vessel named the ,hope was some months after reported as having been taken by the ,french1 it is perhaps probable that he died in a ,french prison4 ,thus again had his afflicted mother to exercise faith and submission1 not without hope towards ,god that the great ,redeemer had taken care of1 and would finally save this prodigal son4 ,she had known a case in her father's family1 which excited their solicitude and encouraged her hope4 ,her younger brother1 ,archibald ,marshall1 a lad of high temper1 though possessed of an affectionate heart1 had gone to sea1 and was not heard of at all for several years4 ,a pious woman1 who kept a boarding-house in ,paisley1 found one of her boarders one day reading ,doddridge's ,rise and ,progress of ,religion in the ,soul1 with ,archibald ,marshall's name written on the blank leaf4 ,on inquiry1 the stranger told her that he got that book from a young man on his death-bed as a token of regard4 ,that young man was ,archibald ,marshall2 he was an exemplary ,christian1 and ,i have reason1 added he1 to bless ,god that he ever was my mess-mate4 ,the woman who heard this account1 transmitted it to ,mr4 ,marshall's family1 who were known to her4 ,mrs4 ,graham had no such consolatory account afforded to her2 but under much yearning of heart she left this concern1 as well as every other1 to the disposal of that ,god who doeth all things well4 ,again she sings of mercy in a sweet meditation4 ,,new ,,york1 ,october #a1 #agid ',return unto thy rest1 ,o my soul1 for the ,lord hath dealt bountifully with thee4' ,blessed be the ,lord1 for he hath showed me his marvellous loving-kindness in a strong city--,christ1 the city of refuge4 ,thou hast given me my heart's desire1 and hast not withholden the request of my lips4 ',one thing have ,i desired of the ,lord1' and through life sought after for myself and the children whom thou hast given me2 'that all the days of our lives we might dwell in the house of the ,lord1' behold his beauty1 and inquire in his holy temple2 that in the time of trouble he would hide us in his pavilion1 in the secret of his tabernacle1 and set our feet upon a rock4 ,o thou incarnate ,god2 thou blessed temple not made with hands2 thou blessed pavilion1 in which thy people hide in the time of trouble1 and are safe2 thou ,rock of ages1 on which we build our hopes for time and eternity1 and defy the assaults of sin1 ,satan1 and the world3 thou1 ,jehovah ,jesus1 art all these to thy people4 ,thou broughtest them 'from a fearful pit and from the miry clay2 thou settest their feet upon this spiritual rock1 and establishest their goings2 thou puttest a new song in their mouths1 even praise unto their ,god4' ,many have seen it and sung it2 many now see and sing it2 many shall see and sing it1 and trust in the ,lord4 ,they find in thee all that is expressive of life2 all that is expressive of safety2 all that is expressive of comfort2 all that is expressive of happiness4 ',o how many are thy wonderful works which thou hast done1 and thy thoughts which are to us-ward2 they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee3 if ,i would declare and speak of them1 they are more than can be numbered4' ,thou1 thy blessed self1 art the sum and substance of every good to man4 ,all this ,i know2 all this have ,i at different times experienced2 and yet my heart is heavy1 my spirits depressed4 ,there is no cause1 ,oh no4 ,thy very afflictive providences have met my wishes1 and been so many answers to my prayers4 ,thou ,husband of the widow1 thou ,father of the fatherless1 ,o how fully1 how manifestly hast thou fulfilled these relations to thy worthless servant4 ,thou1 in my early widowhood1 didst call me to leave my fatherless children on thee1 annexing the promise that thou wouldst preserve them alive4 ,thou didst put it into my heart to plead the promise in a spiritual sense2 to ask1 to hope1 to wait for the new birth1 the life which ,christ died to purchase1 and lives to bestow4 ,in three of these fatherless ,i have seen thy work4 ,long did the grain of mustard-seed lie buried among the weeds of worldly-mindedness2 long were my hopes and fears alternate2 but now the blessed discipline of the covenant has been exercised2 ,i have witnessed it1 ,i have felt it--suffered the rod with them and for them1 but waited for the fruits in hope2 and glory to thee1 dear ,husband and ,father1 ,i have not waited in vain4 ,thou hast written vanity1 and opened our eyes to read vanity written on every earthly enjoyment1 except so far as thou art enjoyed in them4 ,thou hast enabled not only thine aged servant1 but her children1 to put a blank into thy hand1 and to say1 ',choose thou for us4' ,we take hold of thy covenant1 and choose it for our portion4 ,is not this1 ,o ,lord1 the full amount of my desires8 ,thou wilt finish the work in thy own time1 and by means of thy appointing4 ,amen4 ,lord1 do as thou hast said4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,death ,,of ,,her ,,daughter--,,first ,,missionary ,,society ,,in ,,new ,,york4 ,in ,july1 #agie1 ,mrs4 ,graham's second daughter1 ,joanna1 was married to ,mr4 ,divie ,bethune1 merchant in ,new ,york4 ,in the following month her eldest daughter1 ,mrs4 ,stevenson1 was seized with a fatal illness4 ,possessing a most amiable disposition and genuine piety1 she viewed the approach of death with the composure of a ,christian and the intrepidity of faith4 ,she had been in delicate health for some years1 and now a complication of disorders denied all hope of recovery4 ,she sung a hymn of triumph until the struggles of death interrupted her4 ,mrs4 ,graham displayed great firmness of mind during the last trying scene1 and when the spirit of her daughter fled1 the mother raised her hands1 and looking towards heaven1 exclaimed1 ',i wish you joy1 my darling4' ,she then washed her face1 took some refreshment1 and retired to rest4 ,such was her joy of faith at the full salvation of her child2 but when the loss of her company was felt1 the tenderness of a mother's heart afterwards gave vent to feelings of affectionate sorrow3 nature will feel1 even when faith triumphs4 ,in her devout meditations before ,god1 ,mrs4 ,graham improves this event as follows3 ,,october #d1 #agie4 ,why1 ,o why is my spirit still depressed8 ,why these sobs8 ,father1 forgive4 ',jesus wept4' ,i weep1 but acquiesce4 ,this day two months the ,lord delivered my ,jessie1 his ,jessie1 from a body of sin and death1 finished the good work he had begun1 perfected what concerned her1 trimmed her lamp1 and carried her triumphing through 'the valley of the shadow of death4' ,she overcame through the blood of the ,lamb4 ,i rejoiced in the ,lord's work1 and was thankful that the one1 the only thing ,i had asked for her1 was now completed4 ,i saw her delivered from much corruption within1 from strong and peculiar temptation without4 ,i had seen her often staggering1 sometimes falling under the rod2 ,i had heard her earnestly wish for deliverance from sin1 and when death approached she was more than satisfied3 said she had been a great sinner1 but she had a great ,saviour2 praised him and thanked him for all his dealings with her--for hedging her in1 for chastising her2 and even prayed that sin and corruption might be destroyed1 if the body should be dissolved to effect it4 ,the ,lord fulfilled her desire1 and1 ,i may add1 mine4 ,he lifted upon her the light of his countenance2 revived her languid graces2 increased her faith and hope2 loosed her from earthly concerns1 and made her rejoice in the stability of his covenant1 and to sing1 ',all is well1 all is well2 good is the will of the ,lord4' ,i did rejoice1 ,i do rejoice2 but ,o ,lord1 thou knowest my frame2 she was my pleasant companion1 my affectionate child2 my soul feels a want4 ,o fill it up with more of thy presence2 give yet more communications of thyself4 ,we are yet one in ,christ our head--united in him2 and though she shall not return unto me1 ,i shall go to her1 and then our communion will be more full1 more delightful1 as it will be perfectly free from sin4 ,christ shall be our bond of union1 and we shall be fully under the influence of it4 ,let me then gird up the loins of my mind1 and set forward to serve my day and generation1 to finish my course4 ,the ,lord will perfect what concerns me2 and when it shall please him1 he will unclothe me1 break down these prison-walls1 and admit me into the happy society of his redeemed and glorified members3 then 'shall he wipe away all tears from my eyes1' and ,i shall taste the joys which are at his right hand1 and be satisfied for evermore4 ,mrs4 ,graham made it a rule to appropriate a tenth part of her earnings to be expended for pious and charitable purposes4 ,she had taken a lease of two lots of ground on ,greenwich-street from the corporation of ,trinity church1 with a view of building a house on them for her own accommodation2 the building1 however1 she never commenced4 ,by a sale of the lease1 which her son ,mr4 ,bethune made for her in #agie1 she got an advance of one thousand pounds4 ,so large a profit was new to her4 ,quick1 quick1 said she1 let me appropriate the tenth before my heart grows hard4 ,what fidelity in duty2 what distrust of herself4 ,fifty pounds of this money she sent to ,mr4 ,mason in aid of the funds he was collecting for the establishment of a ,theological ,seminary4 ,her own version of this matter we have in a letter to her familiar friend ,mrs4 ,walker1 of ,edinburgh3 #agie4 ,,my ,,dear ,,mrs4 ,,walker--,my last informed you that we had been made to taste of the ,lord's visitation--the yellow-fever--but in great mercy had been spared in the midst of much apparent danger4 ,i have now in my house a girl who lost both father and mother1 and many whole families were cut off2 my house was emptied2 my school broken up2 we confined to town1 and heavy duty laid upon us at the same time4 ,i trembled again for fear of debt2 but 'the ,lord brought meat out of the eater4' ,three years ago1 when tried by having one house taken over my head1 another bought1 and obliged to move three times in as many years1 some speculating genius brought me under the influence of the madness of the times1 and persuaded me ,i might build without money4 ,it is quite common here to build by contract4 ,i could not purchase ground1 but ,i leased two lots of church land1 got a plan made out1 and worried myself for six months1 trying to hatch chickens without eggs4 ,i had asked the ,lord to build me a house1 to give success to the means1 still keeping in view covenant provision1 'what is good the ,lord will give4' ,after many disappointments ,i said1 ,well2 ,i have asked--,i am refused--it is not good--the ,lord will not give it3 he will provide1 but in his own way1 not mine4 ,of course ,i had to pay ground-rent1 which in three years amounted to two hundred and twenty dollars4 ,i think ,i hear you say1 ,i never could have believed that ,mrs4 ,graham could be guilty of such folly--nor ,i2 but seeing and hearing of many such things1 ,i fancied myself very clever4 ,last year a basin was formed1 and wharves around it1 opposite to the said lots2 the epidemic raging on the other side of the city brought all the vessels that came in round to them1 and great expectations were formed for this new basin2 houses and stores sprung up like mushrooms1 and ,mr4 ,bethune sold my lease for one thousand pounds4 ,lo1 and behold1 part of it is already spent4 ,all my provision through this wilderness has been so strongly marked by peculiar providences1 my mind seems habituated to a sense of certainty4 ,i feel my portion of earthly good safer and better in my ,lord's hand than in my own4 ,in the ensuing year we find the following outbreathings of her rich ,christian experience3 ,,january #c1 #agif4 ',rejoice in the ,lord alway1 and again ,i say1 rejoice4 ,let your moderation be known unto all men4 ,the ,lord is at hand4' ,philippians #d3d-g4 ',be careful for nothing2 but in every thing by prayer and supplication1 with thanksgiving1 let your requests be made known unto ,god4 ,and the peace of ,god1 which passeth all understanding1 shall keep your hearts and minds1 through ,christ ,jesus4' ,christ ,jesus6 what does not this name comprehend8 ,he is mine1 and all is mine4 ,i do rejoice in the ,lord1 yea1 more or less1 ,i rejoice always4 ,this heart of mine is sensible to every human affliction2 my tears flow often and fast3 ,i weep for myself1 and still more for others2 but in these very moments of heart-wringing bitterness1 there is a secret joy that ,jesus is near2 that he sees1 knows1 and pities4 ,he is ,jehovah as well as ,jesus1 and could have prevented the affliction under which ,i groan2 but for my good1 and the good of those near and dear to me1 he suffered it1 or prepared it4 ,the good of his people is connected with his glory2 they cannot be separated3 therefore1 ,father1 glorify thy name2 ,i rejoice1 and will rejoice4 ,the ,lord can remove1 and will remove the affliction the moment it has answered the gracious purpose for which it was sent4 ,i would not wish it one moment sooner4 ,while it lies heavy1 he is my almighty friend1 my rest1 my staff of support4 ',in the time of trouble1 he shall hide me in his pavilion2 in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me2 he shall set me up upon a rock4 ,psalm #bg3e4 ',the ,lord is my strength and my shield2 my heart trusted in him1 and ,i am helped1 therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth2 with my song ,i will praise him1' and in his strength and by his grace1 let my 'moderation be known unto all men4' ,my ,lord is at hand--at hand to support1 at hand to overrule1 at hand to deliver4 ,therefore ,i rejoice always4 ,blessed be ,god for the heart-easing1 heart-soothing privilege of casting all my cares upon him1 and for the blessed assurance that he careth for me and mine3 that he allows1 invites1 yea1 commands me to be careful for nothing1 but in all things1 by prayer and supplication1 with thanksgiving1 to let my requests be made known unto him1 who is man1 and touched with the feeling of our infirmities--,jesus wept--and ,god1 the almighty ,god1 to support1 overrule1 deliver4 ,therefore my heart rejoiceth always4 ,,may #af1 #agif4 ',if his children forsake my law1 and walk not in my judgments1 if they break my statutes and keep not my commandments1 then will ,i visit their transgression with the rod1 and their iniquity with stripes3 nevertheless1 my loving-kindness will ,i not utterly take from him1 nor suffer my faithfulness to fail2 my covenant will ,i not break1 nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips4' ,psalm #hi3 #cj4 ,amen2 blessed promise4 ,oh1 it is a well-ordered covenant1 and it is sure4 ,of all the provisions of the covenant1 this has been to my soul among the most comfortable4 ,thanks be to ,god for the discipline of the covenant2 often has it been administered3 thou knowest1 and ,i know in part1 how necessarily1 although ,i shall not know nor understand all1 until that blessed rod shall have perfected its correction1 and shall never more be lifted up4 ,many ups and downs has thy servant experienced in this vale of tears2 many tears have watered these now aged cheeks2 in a variety of ways hast thou stricken1 and at times stripe has followed stripe1 but mercy and love accompanied every one of them4 ,i bless thee1 ,oh1 ,i praise thee1 that ,i have seldom received a stripe but ,i had with it a token of love4 ,sin was imbittered1 a ,saviour endeared1 and grace given to kiss the rod1 and cleave to him that had appointed it4 ,and now ,i can read in legible characters where1 in many instances1 thy check met my wandering steps1 stopt me short of huge precipices1 and preserved me from destroying even my worldly comfort4 ,in some instances--,i thank thee they have not been many--thou hast been pleased to let me alone1 to let me pursue my own way1 ways so wise in my own eyes that ,i have either not sought counsel at all1 or sought it as ,balaam did1 with my heart set on my own will4 ,in some cases thou hast let me eat of the fruit of my own doings1 and let me weary myself in my own way1 until ,i found it not only vanity and vexation of spirit1 but sometimes a labyrinth from which ,i could find no escape3 then did ,i cry unto the ,lord2 then did ,i remember my backslidings2 then did ,i seek unto the cleansing fountain and to the appointed ,mediator1 the maker up of the breach3 then did ,i experience afresh the ,lord's power to save4 ,in how many instances has he given a sudden turn to providences1 which have been made means of my deliverance2 not only so1 but brought good out of my evil1 so that ,i have been made to wonder1 and to say1' ,surely this is the finger of ,god4' ,i destroy myself1 but in thee is my help found4 ,o let these wanderings end2 fix it deep on my mind1 that in the ,lord only have ,i wisdom as well as strength3 that 'it is not in man that walketh1 to direct his steps4' ,when shall ,i learn to live simply on ,christ1 by the light of his pure unerring word1 and the ,spirit coinciding2 and have done with these carnal reasonings1 the wisdom of men4 ',search me1 ,o ,lord1 and know my heart2 try me1 and know my thoughts1 and see if there be any wicked way in me1 and lead me in the way everlasting4' ,amen4 ,,may #bh1 #agif4 ,this is the anniversary of my dear ,jessie's birth1 no more to call us together here2 but ,i yet remember it as a day in which our ,god ,was merciful to me1 and made me the mother of an heir of salvation4 ,i bless1 ,i praise my covenant ,god1 who enabled me to dedicate her to him before she was born1 and to ask only one thing for her as for myself1 even an interest in his great salvation1 leaving it to him to order the means1 time1 and manner1 as of her natural birth and ripening age1 so of her spiritual birth and ripening for glory2 he accepted the charge1 and he has finished the work1 to his own glory1 to her eternal happiness1 and my joy and comfort4 ,i have witnessed remaining corruption fighting hard against her1 and bringing her again and again into captivity to the law of sin and death warring against her4 ,i have seen the rod of ,god lie heavy upon her1 according to the tenor of the covenant1 when she forsook his laws and went astray3 when she walked not in his judgments1 but wandered from his way1 he visited her faults with rods and her sins with chastisements1 but his loving-kindness he never took from her1 though he often hid it1 nor altered the word which he had spoken1 that he would never leave her1 never forsake her2 that in due time he would deliver her from all her enemies4 ,i perceived her desires to be delivered from the world and the body1 and taken home to the bosom of her ,god1 since that appeared at times the only way she could be delivered from sin4 ,i heard her lament her unfruitfulness1 her unsteadiness3 ,i heard her exclaim1 ',oh1 what a sinner1 what a great sinner2' and1 ',oh1 what a ,saviour2 ,o the goodness of ,god in hedging me in1 and saving me from myself2 his covenant stands fast1 it is established1 it is sure4' ,i witnessed a ,god pardoning sin1 yet taking vengeance on inventions4 ,i witnessed the sinner1 after being sixteen years in the school of ,christ1 taught by his ministers1 and most effectually by his rod1 taking shelter in 'the city of refuge1' in the atonement of ,god's providing1 and in 'a surety righteousness1' and finishing her struggles with1 ',all is well4' ,my heart echoed1 and does echo1 and will to all eternity1 ',all is well4' ,glory to ,god2 sing1 not unto her1 not unto me1 not unto any creature1 but 'to ,god be the glory1' that she is now delivered from 'a body of sin and death1 and made meet to be a partaker with the saints in light4' ,,hallelujah4 ,,june1 #agif4 ',i was glad when they said unto me1 ,let us go into the house of the ,lord4' ,psalm #abb4 ',the house of the ,lord1 whither the tribes go up1 the tribes of the ,lord1 unto the testimony of ,israel1 to give thanks unto the name of the ,lord1' to seek his face1 to learn his will1 to taste his love1 to behold his' glory1 to enjoy ,god as their own ,god and reconciled ,father4 ,lord1 let my heart be warmed more towards thy house2 ,i have sought and found thee in thy sanctuary1 read thy providences1 and been taught thy will2 ,i have tasted thy love and beheld thy glory2 ,i have enjoyed thy presence as my own reconciled ,father in ,christ ,jesus2 ,i have been satisfied with thy goodness1 as with marrow and fatness2 and yet how cold and languid at times1 how little desire to return1 how small my expectations1 how wandering my imagination4 ,how do ,i sit before thee as thy people1 and my heart with the fool's eyes at the ends of the earth4 ,lord1 ,i should blush and be ashamed were a fellow-mortal to see my heart at times4 ,i may hide my eyes from viewing vanity1 but the evil lies within4 ,o ,lord1 thou knowest the cause4 ,after all ,i have heard1 seen1 tasted1 and handled of the word of life1 ,i am still of myself an empty vessel1 unable to speak a good word1 or think a good thought4 ,great are thy tender mercies1 ,o ,lord4 ',quicken me according to thy word2 turn thou away my eyes from beholding vanity1 and quicken me in thy way3 then shall ,i run in the way of thy commandments when thou hast enlarged my heart4' ,the house of ,god2 the owner1 the builder1 and maker is ,god1 and it is his peculiar treasure4 ,christ is the foundation and chief corner-stone1 and his house are we1 built upon him1 cemented together1 a spiritual building2 the foundation cannot fail1 the corner-stone can never give way2 neither can we fall to pieces1 or be separated from him4 ,the house of ,god2 ',jerusalem1 ,zion1 the rest of ,god1 where he delights to dwell1' where he will for ever stay2 the house of ,god1 the church1 yea1 the body of ,christ3 ,christ the head1 his people the church1 his members whose life is in him1 and derived from him2 and because he lives we shall live also4 ,lord1 enlarge my understanding to comprehend more and more of the height and depth1 length and breadth of the love of ,christ1 which passeth all understanding4 ,open my eyes to behold wondrous things in thy law and gospel4 ,i am as yet but a babe2 glory to ,god that ,i am what ,i am1 a babe in ,christ4 ,i shall be nourished with life and strength from my divine ,head2 educated and nurtured by the blessings of the new covenant4 ,i shall arrive at the perfection of stature appointed1 and stand in my lot at the latter day4 ,amen4 ,,august #d1 #agif4 ,a day to be remembered4 ,rose at four1 not to mourn--no1 but to repeat my grateful thanks to my covenant ,god for the work he finished this day last year1 in delivering my weak1 feeble1 tossed1 and tried ,jessie from a body of sin and death1 and giving her 'the victory through ,jesus ,christ1 who loved her and gave himself for her4' ,to thee she was dedicated ere she saw the light2 to thee a thousand times ,i repeated the dedication1 begging that thou mightest bring her within the bond of thy covenant2 this was the sum and substance of all my askings for her4 ,i witnessed the time of her second birth1 saw the tears of conviction and remorse4 ,i witnessed thy loosing her bonds1 and tuning her heart and tongue to praise redeeming love4 ,i witnessed the teaching of thy ,spirit1 and the enlightening of her eyes1 and the taste thou gavest her of thy salvation2 ,i thought her mountain stood strong1 and she would not be easily moved2 but who can tell the deceitfulness of the human heart8 ,too soon did we all turn aside like a deceitful bow1 forsook the fountain of living waters1 and hewed out broken cisterns that could hold no water4 ,glory to ,god for the discipline of the covenant1 that he did not cast us off1 but chastened and corrected4 ,he repeated the discipline stripe upon stripe3 ,i stood by and saw it1 and though my heart melted at times1 ,i said1 ',she is in her ,father's hand1 let him do his pleasure4' ,i too was unfaithful to her1 thou knowest1 and often entered into the same vanity of mind1 which stifled the love of ,god in our hearts1 instead of guarding her and warning her2 still1 still the ,shepherd of ,israel followed after both1 and with the precious rod restored both1 time after time1 till it pleased thee to finish her warfare1 and deliver her from both body and sin4 ,lord1 ,i thank thee for all the circumstances1 for the privilege of attending her in her warfare1 for the cheerfulness of her spirits1 for the rich support we all experienced1 for the view we all had of thy faithfulness and fatherly dealing1 and for her last words1 ',all is well4' ,o yes1 every thing thou doest is well1 and this was peculiarly well4 ,i resigned her to thee with joy and thankfulness1 and ,i still acquiesce4 ,her thou hast taken1 me thou hast left1 to be yet exercised with further discipline4 ,it is well2 thy will be done4 ,o help me to profit by every pang4 ,let sin be mortified and my soul be purified2 enlarge my heart to run the ways of thy commandments4 ,now may ,i lay aside every weight1 and that vanity of mind which doth so easily beset me1 and hath been the secret spring of much backsliding both to myself and to my children4 ,lord1 destroy it44 ,o let me now live to ,god1 closely and consistently2 down with my will1 with self in every form4 ,o purify my motives1 and let my whole heart1 soul1 body1 substance1 and influence in the world be devoted to thee4 ,empty me of every thing that is my own1 and let ',christ live in me the hope of glory1' and let the glory of thy workmanship in my soul redound to thee1 and thee alone4 ,amen4 ,,august #ac1 #agif4 ',as ye have received ,christ ,jesus the ,lord1 so walk ye in him1 rooted and built up in him1 and established in the faith1 as ye have been taught1 abounding therein with thanksgiving4' ,colossians #b3f4 ,o ,lord1 this is what ,i pant after4 ,i would fain have done with wandering1 ,lord1 thou knowest1 for the work is thine4 ,i have received the ,lord ,jesus as thy gift to a lost world1 as thy gift to me an individual of that world1 as having made peace by the blood of the cross4 ,i account it a faithful saying1 worthy of all acceptation1 that ',christ came into the world to save sinners1 of whom ,i am chief1' ,i have received thee as the ,lord my righteousness1 crediting thy own word1 that ',christ is the end of the law for righteousness1' and that 'there is no condemnation to them that are in ,christ ,jesus4' ,i have received thee as 'the covenant given of the people4' ,in all the relations by which thou art held out to me in this ,bible1 so far as ,i know or understand1 ,i have received thee4 ,i have no hope in myself1 no trust in myself1 nor any views of communication from ,god of any kind1 but through the one 'mediator between ,god and man1 the man ,christ ,jesus4' ,o my ,god1 what is my life1 what is my happiness but a continual receiving8 ,thou art 'the bread of life' that must keep alive the living principle in my soul4 ,in thee 'dwelleth all the fulness of the ,godhead bodily4' ,thy people are complete in thee2 thou art their head1 they are thy body1 and by joints and bands have nourishment ministered to them1 and are knit together1 and increase with the increase of ,god4 ,this1 ,o this is what my soul pants after1 closer and more intimate union and communion4 ,i would be transformed into thine image2 ,i would be thy temple2 ,i would have thee live in me1 walk in me1 make me one with thee2 ,i would be delivered from self-will1 self-wisdom1 self-seeking2 ,i would be delivered from that philosophy and vain deceit which spoils souls and leads them off from their head3 then1 and not till then1 shall ,i cease to wander1 shall 'run and not be weary1 walk and not faint4' ,then shall ',i run in the way of thy commandments1' and no longer turn aside to crooked ways4 ,then shall ,i eat and drink1 work and recreate1 all to thy glory4 ,lord1 send thy ,spirit into my heart1 that he may continually take of the things of ,christ and show them unto me2 that ,i may grow and be no longer a babe1 but arrive at the fulness of stature in ,christ ,jesus1 and more steadily1 and more purely1 and more zealously1 and ,o1 more humbly live to ,god1 and glorify him in the world4 ,amen4 ,the following extracts of letters to her friend ,mrs4 ,walker1 show how ardently the true missionary spirit burned in the heart of ,mrs4 ,graham1 and how efficiently it was exemplified1 not only in her pecuniary donations1 but her active and self-denying efforts to diffuse information and enlist others in so worthy a cause4 ,the efforts alluded to in the first extract evidently gave rise to the event recorded in the second1 the formation of the first ,missionary ,society in ,new ,york4 ,it is delightful also to notice her attachment to ,christians of other denominations1 and the gratitude with which she remembered kindness received by herself when ,providence had cast her lot on what was truly missionary ground4 ,do you remember how much ,i used to say about our dear ,methodist ,society in ,antigua8 and the three holy1 harmless1 zealous ,moravian brethren8 and how the preachers gave each other the right hand of fellowship1 forgetting their differences1 in that land of open hostilities1 on the kingdom of their common ,lord8 ,thither the ,lord brought me from a land of entire barrenness1 where1 as far as ,i know1 a gospel sermon was never preached4 ,here ,i was brought into great affliction1 and to pass through the severest trial that ,i ever experienced before or since4 ',the ,lord brought me into this fold1 a poor straggling lamb1 who had for five years herded among the goats2 and little difference was there between them and me1 except that my soul longed after green pastures and rejoiced to hear the shepherd's voice1 and when ,i heard it ,i knew it1 though from one who did not belong to my original fold2 these good people nourished me with tenderness1 bore with patience my carnality4 ,when my dear husband was taken ill1 they wrestled for him in prayer2 ,mr4 ,gilbert was every day with him2 the ,lord heard and gave a joyful parting2 yes1 joyful1 never did ,i experience such joy2 then they sympathized with and soothed the widowed heart1 fed her with promises1 and in a measure established her3 thus they wrought with ,god in calling in one1 and restoring another2 never1 never shall ,i forget the labors of love of that dear little society4 ,how many such stragglers as ,i may be wandering in both ,east and ,west ,indies1 and may be restored by these precious missionaries4 ,i owe them1 of my labors1 more than others4 ,i send you a bill for fifty pounds4 ,i have received eighteen copies of the ,missionary ,magazine1 as far as ,no4 #i4 ,i have got subscribers for them all1 who will continue2 pay these1 and send me what more numbers have been published by the return of the ,edinburgh packet1 also eighteen complete sets from the beginning4 ,i hope to be successful in disposing of them also4 ,i suppose the sermons go to the same fund2 send me a hundred sermons1 ,i will see to get them disposed of2 send them single1 not bound1 and of the best2 perhaps they may pave the way for more to follow2 every little helps2 drops make up the ocean4 ,we cannot yet produce anything2 we are gathering intelligence1 and endeavoring to collect money2 but ,i grudge that what we can spare should be idle in the meantime2 the cause is one2 pay the magazines at once1 and the sermons if you have enough of my money4 ,i hope to remit again in ,september4 ,i have a great wish to have a finger in your pie in some way2 if ,i must not subscribe past our own society1 ,i may sell books for yours4 ,ever1 my dear friend1 yours1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,to the same4 #agif-g4 ,i thank my friend for her letter4 ,i rejoice with you1 and bless the widow's ,god4 ,he has indeed been so to us1 to the full amount of the promise4 ,i have now much to sing of1 little to complain of2 my dear girls and ,mr4 ,b---- go forward steadily1 having laid aside the weights of amusements and gayety1 and seem determined to follow the ,lord fully through good and through evil report4 ,bless the ,lord1 ,o my soul1 and forget not all his benefits4 ,we have a full school1 and a very comfortable set of girls4 ,the ,lord has delivered from all heavy burthens4 ,last week a considerable number of ministers and lay ,christians met for the third time1 and established a society for sending missionaries among the ,indians1 and also among the poor scattered settlers on the frontiers4 ,a sermon was preached in the evening in one of the ,dutch churches1 ',the liberal deviseth liberal things1' etc41 after which an address was read by the ,secretary--our dear ,mr4 ,mason--which1 when printed1 ,i will send you4 ,the society is to keep up a correspondence with your and the other societies4 ,if they can effect anything themselves1 apart here in ,america1 well2 if not1 they will throw their subscriptions into the common funds and get help from you4 ,this view is very pleasant to us4 ,there is great need of itinerant preachers in our back settlements2 they are scattered1 and no churches of any kind2 even in some thick settled counties they will not pay a minister4 ,these are 'the highways and hedges2' ,o that the ,lord may compel them to come in4 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,we next find ,mrs4 ,graham administering consolation and imparting instruction to a lady residing near ,boston1 ,mrs4 ,c----4 ,with this lady ,mrs4 ,graham formed an acquaintance in ,new ,york1 shortly after her arrival in ,america4 ,she was then a gay young widow2 but having a strong and cultivated mind1 was delighted with ,mrs4 ,graham and family2 and a friendship was formed between them1 which ceased only with their lives4 ,as a proof of her friendship1 ,mrs4 ,c---- wished to introduce her young female friends into gay fashionable society4 ,this ,mrs4 ,graham opposed2 and while she stated her reasons she endeavored to persuade her young friend to come out from the world and cast in her lot with the people of ,god4 ,a word spoken in due season1 how good it is4 ,this was verified in the case of ,mrs4 ,c----1 who1 like her friend1 was destined to enter the heavenly kingdom through much tribulation4 ,she afterwards entered the marriage state1 and became a second time a widow while her children were still young2 and though not destitute1 her income was considerably reduced2 which circumstances may throw light on parts of ,mrs4 ,graham's letters4 ,unhappily there was no evangelical minister near her place of residence1 which1 with the want of early religious training1 may account for so much darkness as to her spiritual state4 ,mrs4 ,graham often visited her1 and it pleased ,god in due time to scatter the darkness4 ,mrs4 ,c---- for many years fully enjoyed the consolations of religion4 ,she trained up her children according to the maxims of her friend1 and had the happiness of seeing them following in her steps4 ,one1 ,mrs4 ,j4,w41 she saw depart in peace2 and her own dying-bed was soothed by the prayers and attentions of her son1 an esteemed and highly useful clergyman in one of our populous cities4 ,as ,mrs4 ,c---- adopted the signature of ,pilgrim1 the letters to her inserted in the former editions of this memoir1 are noticed as addressed to ,p----4 ,to ,mrs4 ,c----1 a ,lady near ,boston4 ,,february #aj1 #agig4 ,,my ,,ever ,,dear ,,friend--,the desire of waiting you a long letter has occasioned too much delay on my part4 ,one thing ,i can assure you of1 you have been much on my mind1 and the subject of all our prayers4 ,tears of joy ran down my cheeks when ,j---- told me the state of your mind1 and ,i thank our good and gracious ,god for opening your eyes to see the vanity of this world1 the corruption of your own heart1 your need of atoning blood1 and of a better righteousness than your own4 ,hail1 my sister in ,jesus2 flesh and blood hath not taught you this1 but your ,father who is in heaven3 the work is his1 evidently his2 and being begun1 he will carry it on1 and finish it too4 ,commit your soul then into his hand2 he 'came not to call the righteous1 but sinners to repentance2' his errand to our world was to seek and to save the lost4 ,trusting in his mercy1 through ,christ1 your soul is as safe as his word is true2 for none perish that trust in him4 ',trust in the ,lord with all thy heart1 and lean not to thine own understanding2' be not discouraged because of deadness1 darkness1 wandering1 want of love1 want of spirituality1 want of any kind4 ,who told you of these evils and wants8 the ,sun of righteousness shining into your soul has shown you many of the evils there1 but the half you know not yet4 ,the more you learn of the holiness and purity of the divine nature and the spirituality of his law1 the more you will be dissatisfied with every thing yours4 ,even a holy apostle said1 ',in me1 that is1 in my flesh1' or natural mind1 dwelleth no good thing4 ,the flesh lusteth against the ,spirit1 and the ,spirit against the flesh2 so that the things that ,i would1 ,i do not2 and the things that ,i would not1 those ,i do4 ,yet it is not ,i1' not my new nature1 'but sin that dwelleth in me2 for to will is present with me1 but how to perform that which is good ,i find not4' ,if this was the case with the apostle1 who sealed his testimony with his life1 is it strange that you and ,i should have hearts full of all abominable things8 ,these realities are cause of deep humility before ,god1 but none of despair or doubt4 ,all are alike guilty and vile1 the whole head is sick1 and the whole heart unsound2 therefore we need a whole ,christ to atone for our sin1 to cover our naked souls with his imputed righteousness1 and to be surety for us2 to sanctify us by his ,spirit1 and prepare us for the purchased inheritance4 ,o try to rest in him3 believe it1 you are complete in him2 give up1 my dear friend1 poring over and diving into your own heart and frames1 and try to trust in an almighty ,saviour to save you from foes without and foes within4 ,read ,romaine's ,walk and ,life of ,faith3 he himself attained to a high degree of holiness by getting out of himself1 and trusting1 resting1 believing from day to day1 for grace1 for every duty1 as it occurred4 ,the promise runs1 ',as thy days so shall thy strength be4' ,i cannot at this distance1 and knowing nothing of characters1 offer you any advice with respect to outward means2 but if you know any truly pious1 spiritual minister1 ,i should think it your duty to lay open your mind to him4 ,you may find in books matter as good as any man living can speak2 but it is the ,lord's appointed way1 and he often honors his servants1 his ministers1 by making them messengers of peace and comfort to his children4 ',are any sick1 let them call for the elders of the church1 and let them pray over them4' ,see how the ,christians of old associated with one another4 ,i am now doubly yours1 etc41 ,i4,g4 ,,april #ad1 #agig4 ,eternity seems very near4 ,i have often thought so without any visible cause4 ,well1 it will come2 a few more rolling years1 months1 weeks1 or days will assuredly land me on ,canaan's happy shore4 ,then shall ,i know and enjoy what ear hath not heard1 eye seen1 nor heart conceived1 even the blessedness that is at ,god's right hand4 ,i have desired1 though ,i know not that ,i have asked1 to glorify ,god on my death-bed1 and to leave my testimony at the threshold of eternity1 that not one word of all that my ,god has promised has failed4 ,he has been--,o what has he not been8--in all my trials1 all my afflictions1 all my temptations1 all my wanderings1 all my backslidings1 he has been all that the well-ordered covenant has said4 ,let this ,bible tell what ,god in ,christ1 by his ,spirit and his providence1 has been to me2 and let the same ,bible say what he will be to me 'when flesh and heart fails2' yea1 when 'the place that now knows me shall know me no more4' ,perhaps when the messenger does come ,i shall not know him1 but depart in silence4 ,well1 as the ,lord wills2 he knows best how to glorify himself4 ,jesus shall trim my lamp and perfect his image on my soul1 sensible or insensible4 ,i shall enter into his presence1 washed in his blood1 clothed in his righteousness1 and my sanctification perfected4 ,i shall 'see him as he is1' and be like him4 ,mourn not1 my children1 but rejoice2 gird up the loins of your mind1' and set forward on your heavenly journey through this wilderness4 ,so far as ,i have followed ,christ1 so far follow my example2 still living on ,christ1 depending on him for all that is promised in the well-ordered covenant4 ,o stumble not into the world except when duty calls2 at best it is a deadly weight1 a great hinderance to spiritual-mindedness1 and in as far as it gets a footing in your heart1 it will not only mar your progress1 but your comfort4 ,lord1 feed my children constantly with 'thy flesh and thy blood1' that they may never hunger nor thirst for this world1 but grow in the divine life1 and in the joy and comfort of the ,holy ,ghost4 ,amen4 ,,october #bj1 #agig4 ,how condescending is our covenant ,god4 ,all we have or enjoy is from his hand2 he gave us our being2 our lives1 although forfeited a thousand times1 have been preserved4 ',our bread has been given us1 and our water sure2' and not only these necessaries1 but many comforts and good temporal things have fallen to our lot2 'thou hast furnished our table1' hast provided medicines and cordials when sick4 ,lord1 ,i thank thee for all these mercies1 but above all1 that we can call thee our reconciled ,father2 that we have them not as the world have them1 who are far from thee1 and have no portion among thy children1 nor interest in thy well-ordered covenant2 but that we have them as thy redeemed1 as part of covenant provision1 and with a covenant blessing1 and among the all things that work together for our good4 ,lord1 enable us to be rich in good works4 ,how condescending1 that thou acceptest a part of thine own as freewill-offerings1 and hast annexed promised blessings to those who consider the poor2 hast said1 ',he who giveth to the poor1 lendeth to the ,lord4' ,i thank thee that thou hast laid to hand a sufficiency to enable me and mine to eat our own bread2 even that which1 according to the regulations of society1 men call our own4 ,thou only hast a right to call it not so1 for we are thine1 and all that thou hast given us2 but of thy free bounty and kind providence1 'thou hast enabled us to provide things honest and of good report in the sight of all men1' and to give a portion to them who need4 ,i trust thy ,spirit has directed my judgment in the determination ,i have taken to set apart1 from time to time1 this portion1 according as thou prosperest us in business1 and preservest us in health and ability to pursue it4 ,i bless thee for indulgent1 encouraging appearances1 that since ,i began the practice thou hast added to my stock1 and that which ,i have given has never straitened1 but thou hast prospered me more and more4 ,my poor's purse has never been empty when called for1 neither has my family purse4 ,of thine own ,i give thee1 and bless thy name for the privilege4 ,grant direction with respect to whom1 and how much to give4 ,the following meditations will afford refreshment to every ,christian heart3 #agig4 ',as ye have received ,christ ,jesus the ,lord1 so walk in him1 rooted and built up in him1 and established in the faith1 as ye have been taught1 abounding there in with thanksgiving4' ,yes1 just so1 and no other way shall any poor corrupted creature attain holiness1 in the very same manner that he received the ,lord ,jesus at first4 ,he is' the ,alpha2 and ,omega1 the first and the last1 the beginning and the end4' ,o ,lord1 my ,saviour1 my complete ,saviour1 and in whom ,i am complete1 ,i received thee as my expiatory sacrifice1 by whom atonement was made for my sins2 by whom reconciliation was made2 ,i reconciled to ,god1 and ,god to me4 ,i was then delivered from the power of darkness and translated into the kingdom of ,god's dear ,son1 and have redemption through his blood1 even the forgiveness of sins4 ,this same blood must cleanse my daily spots1 must cleanse my very best services2 this same blood must cleanse my conscience daily1 and give me confidence in ,god1 as my reconciled ,father4 ,by this same peace-speaking blood ,i daily present myself in his presence1 and know that he sees no iniquity in me so as to condemn me4 ,o ,lord1 ,i receive thee as my justifying righteousness1 disclaiming all confidence in my own works1 throwing them aside as filthy rags4 ,i place my sole dependence upon an imputed righteousness1 that righteousness wrought out by thee as my surety1 in thy holy1 meritorious life and death2 believing thy testimony1 that 'the wages of sin is death1 but the gift of ,god is eternal life1 through ,jesus ,christ our ,lord4' ,just so must ,i go on1 trusting in1 resting upon1 rejoicing in the ,lord my righteousness4 ,by one man's offence many were made sinners1 so by the obedience of one shall many1 and ,i among others1 be made righteous4 ',christ is the end of the law for righteousness1' therefore ,i walk at liberty1 free from all dread of condemnation4 ,not as a slave1 not as a servant1 not as a hireling1 not as a probationer2 but as a child and heir of ,god1 to whom the inheritance is made sure4 ,i have received the seal of the testament1 ratified and made sure by the death of the testator4 ,all the blessings contained in this ,bible1 the records of the well-ordered covenant1 are mine2 and1 ,oh glorious truth1 the testator died to ratify and insure this testament2 but he lives again1 the glorious executor4 ,o ,lord1 ,i received thee as my king3 depending upon promised strength1 ,i swore allegiance to thee1 and to thy government4 ,just so1 my dear sovereign ,master1 must ,i go on3 rejoicing in its privileges1 subjecting myself cheerfully to its restrictions2 studying with care its positive commands1 and setting myself to obey2 submitting with meekness to its discipline2 claiming thy kingly power to subdue the corruptions of my heart1 to defend from foes within and foes without2 and when thou callest me to fight1 to arm me for battle1 and lead me on to victory4 ,i received thee as my divine ,saviour1 as the covenant of the people3 the covenant arranged1 ratified1 and fulfilled2 to me a covenant of free gift4 ,receiving thee1 ,i received all the promises in their fullest extent1 as legally made over and confirmed to me by the irrevocable gift of ,deity3 and in thee1 as my ,saviour1 dwelleth all the fulness of the ,godhead bodily2 yes1 dwelleth in him for his people1 his ransomed2 dwelleth in him as our head2 we are united to him1 one with him1 as he and the ,father are one1 and being one with him1 we are complete in him4 ,he is the head1 we the members2 he is the vine1 we the branches2 he is the foundation and chief corner-stone1 we the building4 ,thus let us walk in him2 rooted and built up in him2 filled with the knowledge of his will1 in all wisdom and spiritual understanding2 walking worthy of the ,lord1 unto all pleasing--being fruitful in every good work1 and increasing in the knowledge of ,god2 strengthened with all might1 according to his glorious power2 unto all patience and long-suffering1 with joyfulness2 for it is he who worketh in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure2 and although of ourselves we can do nothing1 yet we can do all things through ,christ strengthening us2 and he has promised1 that 'as our days so shall our strength be4' ,it is well1 ,lord1 it is well4 ,thou art mine1 and ,i am thine3 thou art mine with all thy fulness1 what can ,i want besides8 ,nothing1 ,lord4 ,thou hast given me 'the heritage of those that fear thy name2' ,i am satisfied with my portion4 ,amen4 ,be my ,god and the ,god of my seed1 and glorify thy name in us4 ,,october1 #agig4 ',remove far from me vanity and lies1' ,psa4 #aai4 ,every deviation from rectitude and truth is sin4 ,who that knows any thing of the corruption of the human heart1 and its strange tendency to stray1 to err1 yea1 even to pervert the plainest1 simplest1 and most obvious truths1 but must see the propriety of his joining the psalmist1 and crying out1 ,lord1 remove far from me the way of lies4 ,the way of lies as it respects our judgment and sentiments1 as it respects our motives of action1 and as it respects our conduct4 ,as it respects our judgment3 how does every species of error abound2 even the serious and earnest seekers of truth differ in many things1 which1 although they may not prevent their final salvation1 mar their progress in knowledge1 in holiness1 and in comfort4 ,lord1 remove far from us the way of lies4 ,lead us to the pure1 unmixed1 unerring word of truth1 as it respects our sentiments1 and as it respects our conduct4 ,o how many deceive themselves by resting on a speculative knowledge of the truth1 or what they esteem such1 while their hearts remain unaffected1 their tempers unsanctified1 and their lives unfruitful4 ,passionate1 stubborn1 relentless1 unmerciful1 implacable tempers indulged and unmortified1 must be a way of lies4 ',learn of me1' says the ,saviour1 'for ,i am meek and lowly in heart1 and ye shall find rest to your souls4' ',the meek will he guide in judgment1' the meek will he teach his way4 ',remove far from me the way of lies1 and teach me thy law graciously4' ',teach me thy law graciously1' not the ceremonial and the moral law alone1 but the whole of ,god's revealed will4 ,the psalmist knew the law ceremonial and moral1 but he wants more and more of the teaching of the ,spirit of ,god4 ',he1' the ,spirit of truth1 'shall take of mine1 and show it unto you4' ,the word of ,god is ever the same2 it contains the whole truth1 and nothing but the truth2 every thing necessary to safety1 to holiness1 and happiness3 but ,o1 the difference between him who reads with a mind enlightened by the ,spirit of ,god1 and him who reads with no other assistance than his own poor blinded1 darkened reason4 ,teach me then thy law graciously4 ,i will praise thee with uprightness of heart1 when ,i shall have learned thy judgments4 ',open thou mine eyes1 that ,i may behold wondrous things out of thy law4' ,the psalmist thirsted after more and more extensive views of the word of ,god1 and still as his views were enlarged he desired more4 ',the earth is full of thy mercy1' verse #fd2 this was one lesson1 but still he cries1 ',teach me thy statutes4 ,thou hast dealt bountifully with me1 ,o ,lord1 according to thy word4' ,still he cries1 ',teach me good judgment and knowledge4 ,it is good for me that ,i have been afflicted1 that ,i might learn thy statutes4' ,,october1 #agig4 ,i love to feel the kindlings of repentance1 self-loathing under a sense of ingratitude1 heart-melting with the view of pardoning grace4 ,i love to feel the sprinkling of my ,redeemer's blood on my conscience1 drawing forth the tears of joy and gratitude in the view of a free pardon4 ,i love to dwell on the seal of reconciliation1 while my heart1 glowing with gratitude1 sinks into the arms of my redeeming ,lord1 in full confidence of his love and my safety for ever4 ,i love to feel longings after closer communion1 after more conformity to his image1 more usefulness to my fellow-members of the body of ,christ1 and to all his creatures4 ,i love to feel deeply interested in the success of the gospel1 in the declarative glory of ,jehovah1 as manifested in his works of creation and providence1 but chiefly in the superexcellent work of redemption3 for 'thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name4' ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,formation ,,of ,,the ,,widows' ,,society-- ,,close ,,of ,,her ,,school4 ,in ,november1 #agig1 the ,society for the ,relief of ,poor ,widows with small ,children was instituted at ,new ,york2 a society which has risen into great respectability1 and has been productive of very beneficent effects4 ,the ,lord1 in his merciful providence1 prepared this institution1 to grant relief to the many bereaved families who were left widows and orphans by the ravages of the yellow-fever in the years #agih and #agii4 ,it took its rise from an apparently adventitious circumstance4 ,mr4 ,b----1 in the year #agif1 was one of the distributing managers of the ,st4 ,andrew's ,society4 ,the distribution of this charity was of course limited to a certain description of applicants4 ,mrs4 ,b----1 interested for widows not entitled to share in the bounty of the ,st4 ,andrew's ,society1 frequently collected small sums for their relief4 ,she consulted with a few friends on the propriety of establishing a female society for the relief of poor widows with small children1 without limitation4 ,invitations in the form of circular letters were sent to the ladies of ,new ,york1 and a very respectable number assembled at the house of ,mrs4 ,graham4 ,the proposed plan was approved1 and a society organized4 ,mrs4 ,graham was elected first directress1 which office she held for ten years4 ,at the semiannual meeting in ,march1 #agih1 ,mrs4 ,graham made a very pleasing report of the proceedings of the ,managers1 and of the amount of relief afforded to the poor4 ,the ladies of ,new ,york truly honored themselves and religion by their zeal in this benevolent undertaking1 in reference to which ,mrs4 ,graham says1 in a letter to her friend ,mrs4 ,walker3 ,i mentioned in my last that we had planned a society for the relief of poor widows with small children3 the success has been beyond our most sanguine expectations4 ,we have now a hundred and ninety subscribers1 at three dollars a year1 and nearly a thousand dollars in donations4 ,we have spent three hundred dollars this winter1 and nearly all upon worthy objects4 ,the poor increase fast3 emigrants from all quarters flock to us1 and when they come they must not be allowed to die for want4 ,there are eight hundred in the almshouse1 and our society has helped along many1 with their own industry1 that must otherwise have been there4 ,the ,french1 poor things1 are also starving among us2 it would need a stout heart to lay up in these times4 ,in the same letter she informs her of the first monthly missionary prayer-meeting known to have been held in the city of ,new ,york4 ,the second ,wednesday in ,february we commenced our first monthly meeting for prayer for the ,lord's blessing on ours1 and all the missionary societies4 ,it was far from full2 but we must be thankful for the day of small things1 and pray1 and wait1 and hope4 ,the ,dutch churches1 the ,baptist and ,presbyterian have united so far as to officiate in each other's churches2 they have collected about seventeen hundred dollars1 and are looking out for two missionaries to send among the ,indians1 or to the frontiers4 ,a few months later we find the following letter to a young man on his joining the church3 ,,september1 #agih4 ,,my ,,dear ,,young ,,friend--,you have now ratified in a public manner that transaction which1 no doubt1 passed previously in private between you and your ,god4 ,you have declared your belief of the gospel1 and have taken hold of ,god's covenant of promise4 ,you have fallen in with his own plan1 which he has appointed for the salvation of guilty sinners2 and rested your soul upon his word of promise that you shall be saved4 ,you have1 at the same time1 dedicated and devoted your soul1 your body1 your time1 your talents1 your substance1 your influence1 all that you are and have1 to be disposed of at his pleasure1 and for his glory1 in the world4 ,you are no longer your own4 ,you are bought with a price1 adopted into the family of ,god1 numbered with and entitled to all the privileges of his children4 ,your motives of action1 your views1 your interests1 are all different from those of the worldling4 ,whether you eat or drink1 or whatever you do1 your aim must be1 and will be1 to do all to his glory4 ,this must go with you1 and be your ruling principle in all the walks of life4 ,by your integrity1 uprightness1 diligence1 and disinterested attention to the interest of your employers1 you will glorify ,god and have his presence with you in business4 ,by a due and marked observance of the ,sabbath1 and attendance on the ordinances1 you will glorify him4 ,by regularity1 order1 and temperance1 crowned with an open acknowledgment of ,god before all who may surround your board1 you will glorify him in an especial manner in these days of degeneracy1 and1 crowned with family worship1 you will glorify him1 and his presence will be with you1 and great will be your comfort4 ,god's interest in the world must also be yours4 ,the good of his church in general1 and that of your own family in particular2 and ,o1 my son1 if you would be rich in comfort1 follow the ,lord fully1 and follow him openly2 and if you would do it so as to suffer the least from the sneer of the world1 do it at once4 ,already you have received congratulations on your joining the church1 by those belonging to it2 soon will it be known to those who will scoff at it4 ,but ,christians and worldlings will look for consistency2 and if it be wanting1 the last will be the first to mark it4 ,a decided character will soon deliver you from all solicitations to what may be even unseemly1 and dignified consistent conduct will command respect4 ,not but the ,lord may let loose upon you the persecuting sneer and banter of the wise of this world1 whose esteem you wish to preserve2 but1 if he do1 the trial will be particular1 and he will support you under it1 and bring his glory and your good out of it4 ,and now1 my son1 suffer the word of exhortation4 ,you have entered the school of ,christ1 and have much to learn1 far beyond what men or books can of themselves teach1 and you have much to receive on divine credit1 beyond what human reason can comprehend4 ,i would recommend to you to read carefully1 and pause as you read1 and pray as you read for the teaching of the ,spirit1 the epistle of ,paul to the ,ephesians4 ,read it first without any commentary1 and read it as addressed to you1 ,s---- ,a----4 ,you will there find what may in part stagger your reason2 you will find what far surpasses your comprehension2 but yet read on1 with conscious weakness1 and ignorance1 and absolute dependence on divine teaching4 ,when you have read it through1 then take ,brown's or ,henry's exposition of it4 ,a degree of mystery1 my son1 runs through the whole of ,god's revealed word2 but it is his1 and to be received with reverence1 and believed with confidence1 because it is his4 ,it is to be searched with diligence1 and compared2 and1 by ,god's teaching and the assistance of his sent servants1 the child of ,god becomes mighty in the ,scriptures4 ,let not mystery stagger you3 we are surrounded with mysteries2 we ourselves are mysteries inexplicable3 nor let the doctrine of election stagger you2 how small a part of ,god's ways do we know1 or can comprehend6 rejoice that he has given you the heritage of his people--leave the rest to him3 ',shall not the ,judge of all the earth do right8' ,jesus took once a little child and set him in the midst of the people1 and said1 ',except ye be converted1 and become as little children1 ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven1' intimating with what simplicity and docility men ought to receive the gospel2 and the following text also alludes to this3 ',suffer little children to come unto me1 and forbid them not1 for of such is the kingdom of heaven4' ,there are many promises made to the diligent searchers after truth3 ',then shall we know1 if we follow on to know the ,lord4' ',the secret of the ,lord is with them that fear him2 and he will show them his covenant4' ,yet the highly enlightened ,paul calls the gospel a mystery1 and godliness a mystery2 'for now we see through a glass darkly2 but then face to face3 now ,i know in part2 but then1' in heaven1 'shall ,i know even as also ,i am known4' ,therefore1 while you use all diligence1 accompanied with prayer and the expositions of ,god's faithful ministers1 to understand every part of divine revelation1 be neither surprised nor disheartened at the want of comprehension1 far less attempt to reduce it to human reason1 as many have done to their ruin4 ,the ,scripture says1 ',vain man would be wise1 though born like the wild ass's colt4' ',the wisdom of this world is foolishness with ,god4' ,i4 ,,graham4 ,again we have the following merited strictures by one taught from above1 on a passage in ,pope's ,essay on ,man4 #agih4 ',glows in the stars and blossoms in the trees4' ,there the poet must stop3 thus far the natural mind1 richly endowed with human powers1 can go and trace a ,god of power1 wisdom1 and beneficence3 ,o that thou hadst had eyes to see1 and discern what flesh and blood could never reach2 that all these glories dwindle into tapers1 when compared with ,jehovah manifested in the face of ,jesus ,christ4 ,every star1 every tree1 all vegetating1 bursting1 blooming life1 answer the end of their creation1 manifesting his glory as thou sayest2 but can they tell thee how this ,god can be just1 and yet justify those who have rebelled against all his attributes2 torturing even his fair and beautiful creation1 and bringing it into subjection to their lusts1 as thou hast well sung2 murmuring at1 and rebelling against his dispensations in providence2 hardening themselves against his government2 perverting every good to their own misery1 and imbibing wretchedness from means of blessedness8 ,can all that thou hast sung bring into congeniality perfection of wickedness and perfection of holiness1 perfection of wretchedness and perfection of happiness1 perfect opposition in nature and principle8 ,here thy song stops short4 ,thou seest the evils and the misery2 thou hast a glimpse of an opposite good1 but all means proposed by thee ever have proved1 and ever will prove inadequate to the attainment of it3 the very attributes of a just and holy ,god oppose it3 heaven and earth must stand amazed at the declaration that ,god would justify the ungodly4 ,in the month of ,september1 #agih1 ,mrs4 ,graham's daughter ,isabella was married to ,mr4 ,andrew ,smith1 merchant1 then of ,new ,york4 ,her family being thus settled to her satisfaction1 and her health not good1 she was prevailed upon to retire from her school1 and to live with her children4 ,during the prevalence of the yellow-fever in #agih1 it was with much difficulty ,mrs4 ,graham was dissuaded from going into the city to attend on the sick3 the fear of involving her children in the same calamity1 in the event of her being attacked by the fever1 was the chief reason of her acquiescing in their wish to prevent so hazardous an undertaking4 ,during the subsequent winter she was indefatigable in her attentions to the poor1 she exerted herself to procure work for her widows1 and occupied much of her time in cutting it out and preparing it for them4 ,the managers of the ,widows' ,society had each a separate district2 and ,mrs4 ,graham1 as first ,directress1 had a general superintendence of the whole4 ,she was so happy in the execution of her trust1 as to acquire the respect and confidence of the ladies who acted with her1 as well as the affections of the poor4 ,her whole time was now at her command1 and she devoted it very faithfully to promote the benevolent object of the institution over which she presided4 ,the extent of her exertions1 however1 became known1 not from the information given by herself1 but from the observations of her fellow-laborers1 and especially from the testimony of the poor themselves4 ,when she had been absent for some weeks1 on a visit to her friends in ,boston1 in the summer of #ahjj1 her daughter1 ,mrs4 ,b----1 was surprised at the frequent inquiries made after her by persons with whom she was unacquainted3 at length she asked some of those inquirers what they knew about ,mrs4 ,graham4 ,they replied1 ,we live in the suburbs of the city1 where she used to visit1 relieve1 and comfort the poor4 ,we had missed her so long1 that we were afraid she had been sick2 when she walked in our streets1 it was customary with us to come to the door and receive her blessing as she passed4 ,we next find letters to her female friend near ,boston1 who was still in much spiritual darkness and despondency4 ,to ,mrs4 ,c----1 near ,boston4 ,,march1 #agii4 ,,my ,,ever ,,dear ,,friend--,i have just read your letter1 painful to you to write1 but to me as the mother's anguish which precedes her joy4 ,the day will soon break1 and the shadows flee away2 and the dear ,saviour whom you seek1 will again comfort his returning prodigal4 ,i will do what you desire me1 and though ,i have the highest opinion of our young ,timothy1 ,j4,m41 ,i will pass by him in this case1 and lay it before one of the aged ,christians1 ,dr4 ,r----rs or ,dr4 ,l----n2 at the same time1 my friend1 ,i am as sure of their answer as if ,i were already in possession of it4 ,who told my friend that she was blind1 and miserable1 and wretched1 and naked8 ,flesh and blood never yet taught proud man or woman this lesson4 ,my dear friend1 there is nothing new nor strange in all you have told me3 there is scarce a heaven-taught soul1 who has made any advances in the spiritual warfare1 but could sympathize with you from experience4 ,what have you experienced more than the ,scriptures tell us3 that 'the heart is deceitful above all things1 and desperately wicked8' ,only the ,lord can search it1 only he can cleanse it4 ,he takes the prerogative to himself1 and he calls it his covenant that he will make with sinners in gospel times4 ,you may strive and fight1 and resolve and vow--all will not do3 you lie at his mercy for holiness as well as pardon4 ,he is exalted as a ,prince to give repentance1 and he is the author and finisher of faith4 ,he works all our works in us1 and without him we are not equal to one good thought4 ,we are his workmanship1 'created anew in ,christ ,jesus1' ,my dear friend1 put the work into his hand1 and try to wait on him in hope--hope in every situation2 do more1 trust4 ,you entirely mistake the situation of others2 none of us have our heaven here3 no1 sin dwelleth in us2 the very best have their ups and downs4 ,do you think your friend is always on the mount8 very far from it4 ,i am at times so cold1 so dead1 so stupid1 that ,i can neither pray1 read1 nor hear4 ,i have begun the same chapter over and over1 still trying to fix my thoughts1 and as often they wander on every trifle2 but my peace lies where you will soon learn to place yours1 in the merits of my almighty ,saviour4 ,my safety depends not on my frames1 but his promise and when tossed and tempted1 dead and lifeless1 emptied of every good1 perhaps buffeted like you with abominable thoughts1 the fiery darts of ,satan1 casting all on ,him1 ,i am safe as when basking in the sunshine of his love1 and tasting what you have tasted3 for you have tasted1 and you shall yet taste the joys of his salvation4 ,i too have proved false to his covenant1 have gone off with the world1 and been intoxicated with its vanities and empty delights1 and have laid up for myself seasons of deep remorse2 my sins have often separated between my ,god and me1 especially in my younger days2 the ,lord calls to watchfulness and diligence in the use of means1 and he generally honors these means1 of his own appointing1 with his blessing4 ,when we either trust to these means1 and fancy merit in them1 or neglect to use them as his appointment1 he generally makes us feel our error1 but he does not cast us out of his family2 he chastens us1 and restores us4 ,i write hastily1 just to say that you have my sympathy and my love2 for well ,i know1 the almighty ,lord alone can loose your bonds1 and give you 'joy and peace in believing4' ,all my advice may be summed up in this--trust in the ,lord with all your heart2 at least aim at this2 ,i say1 aim at it1 for this too must be given you4 ,roll yourself1 your doubts1 your fears1 your sins1 your duties1 all on him3 say1 ',lord1 ,i believe1 help thou my unbelief4' ,he is an almighty ,saviour to deliver sinners from sin as well as from punishment4 ,i leave you on the ,father of mercies1 and will1 when the ,lord enables1 pray for you4 ,yours1 etc4 ,to the same4 ,at last1 my dear friend1 the ,lord appears2 appears the ,bible ,god--'the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 abundant in goodness and truth1 keeping mercy for thousands1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin4' ,when was it that the ,lord proclaimed this1 and took unto himself this name8 ,after ,israel1 his chosen1 had been guilty of that awful sin in the wilderness1 of making the golden calf1 and proclaiming1 ',these be thy gods1 ,o ,israel3' ,david takes it up in the #ajc;d ,psalm1 ',the ,lord is merciful and gracious1 slow to anger1 and plenteous in mercy4' ,read on1 my dear1 then turn to the #acjth4 ,this ,god is your ,god1 and has long been your ,god2 his work was upon your heart1 though you could not discern it4 ,in bondage you have long been1 but not a willing captive2 unbelief kept you in bondage1 long1 long after your eyes were opened to see your bondage2 and even to discern1 in some feeble measure1 your remedy4 ,the ,lord has wise reasons for all you have suffered3 if not now1 you shall in some after-time 'know and consider all the way by which he has led you1 to prove you1 to try you1 and show you what was in your heart1 that he might do you good in your latter end4' ,you did not wait patiently for the ,lord your ,god2 you did not in general say1 ',though he slay me1 ,i will trust in him3' no1 my friend has been a great unbeliever1 yet hath the ,lord1 the sovereign ,lord1 'whose ways are not as our ways1 nor his thoughts as our thoughts1' brought you out of 'a fearful pit1 and out of the miry clay2 set your feet upon a rock1 and established your goings2 put a new song into your mouth1 even praise unto our ,god4' ,now you sing the #cdth ,psalm4 ,i do rejoice with my friend2 ,i bless the ,lord with her2 let us exalt his name together4 ,it is establishing to my own soul4 ,i have long prayed1 and long looked for this3 ,i lived in the faith of it1 assured that ,he who had begun the good work1 would perfect it in his own time4 ,i cannot but regret your want of pastoral food2 yet ought ,i to regret any thing8 ,the ,lord himself is your ,shepherd4 ,my ,bible lies on my lap1 and ,i had turned to the #cdth ,psalm1 to know if it contained what ,i would point out to you3 on finishing the last verse1 ,i unconsciously turned my eye on the ,bible2 the words that met it were1 ',i will instruct thee1 and teach thee in the way that thou shalt go3 ,i will guide thee with mine eye4' ,psa4 #cb3h4 ,and so it shall be4 ,amen1 my ,god1 ,amen4 ,do as thou hast said4 ,perhaps1 my friend1 by this time your notes are lowered4 ,it has pleased the ,lord to give you a strange sight3 ,mary ,magdalene1 a great sinner at the feet of ,jesus1 pardoned1 comforted1 and highly honored in after-life4 ,this history1 accompanied by the ,spirit of ,god1 has consoled1 strengthened1 and raised up many bowed down since that day1 many now around the throne1 who sing of pardoning love4 ,i now wish to say1 hold fast the beginning of your confidence4 ,your experience is that of ,god's people4 ,to rejoice in the ,lord at all times is your privilege1 but will not be always your attainment4 ,the ,lord has done great things for you1 whereof ,i am glad2 but1 my dear friend1 the warfare is not over3 you must endure trials as others2 engage with 'principalities and powers1 and spiritual wickedness in high places1' and1 worst of all1 a treacherous heart within2 which1 for all that it has seen and tasted1 is yet corrupt and deceitful4 ,the new life which ,christ gives to the soul1 evidences itself in the desires of the heart and affections4 ,as certainly as the new-born babe desires the breast1 as certainly and as evidently does the new-born soul desire union to ,god1 communion with him1 and conformity to him in heart1 life1 and conversation4 ,this principle is in its own nature perfectly pure1 but the old nature1 the law in the spiritual members1 is as perfectly corrupt3 'in my flesh dwelleth no good thing4' ,in the order of ,god's covenant it has not pleased him to deliver even believers1 all at once1 from sinful inclinations and passions2 he has provided for their final complete deliverance1 and sin shall not have dominion over them even here2 but it is still in them while in the body1 and a dying body2 and the remains of sin in the soul make the believer's life a warfare1 and this world a wilderness2 soul and body are diseased2 both are redeemed1 and provision made for the entire deliverance of both--for the soul at death1 for the body at the resurrection2 but while in the body1 'if any man say he has no sin1 he deceiveth himself1 and the truth is not in him4' ,i ,john1 ,i3#h4 ,look at ,paul's experience--what does he say of the believer's state8 ,he calls it a warfare1 a fight1 a captivity for a time3 see #a ,tim4 #f3ab2 #a ,cor4 #i3bf4 ,i write not thus to dishearten you1 but as a friend ,i warn you1 lest you fall again into unbelief4 ,look not within for comfort1 for consolation1 for confidence4 ,christ is the end of the law for righteousness1 his blood the atonement1 and you are complete in him1 his grace is sufficient for you1 his strength shall be perfected in your weakness1 and you shall go on4 ,grieve for sin you will1 grieve you ought2 but keep ever in your remembrance #a ,john1 #b3a1 and #e3aa4 ,yours1 etc4 ,to the same4 ,,january #ad1 #ahjj4 ,my dear friend says1 ',o that ,i could have the society of some aged pious clergyman or ,christian1 who had gone through his warfare4' ,o that you could1 in the ,lord's hand4 ,i hope it might do you good3 yet1 after all1 the ,lord himself must loose your bonds2 aye1 and he will1 and also appoint the means4 ,there are two kinds of rest awaiting you1 the one in this life1 the other will not be attained till the mortal shall put on immortality4 ,when was it that ,paul1 the great apostle1 could say he had fought the good fight8 ,not till he could also say he had finished his course1 and was ready to be offered up2 till then1 he like others had to continue the warfare between grace and corruption2 like others1 found a law in his members warring against the law of his mind1 so that the thing that he would1 he did not1 and that which he would not1 that he did4 ,notwithstanding this1 there is a blessed rest attainable here1 rest from the fear of wrath and hell--a rest in ,christ as our atonement1 our surety1 our complete righteousness1 our title to eternal life1 and all the grace necessary to fit us for it4 ,this is the work of faith1 or rather1 this is faith itself4 ,the soul established in this can rest in all possible circumstances2 it depends not on its frames3 in darkness1 when it is tossed1 tempted1 wandering1 conscious of unhallowed tempers1 perhaps of the actual commission of sin1 though at such times the warfare between grace and corruption is so strong as to make the ,christian exclaim1 ',o wretched man that ,i am6 who shall deliver me from this body of sin and death8' he can still say1 ',the ,lord lives1 blessed be my ,rock2' see the #db;d and #dc;d ,psalms4 ,the ,christian can still say1 my ,lord and my ,god2 he is sure the conflict will end1 and that his ,god will bring good out of it2 he enjoys hope2 he feels his state as safe as in the most enlarged frame of mind1 when he can pray1 praise1 love1 rejoice4 ,this is a riddle which only ,christians can understand1 and even they require many lessons to comprehend it1 many more to practise4 ,have you ,newton's letters8 ,see his second letter in ,cardiphonia4 ,o try to fix your anchor of hope on that sure foundation which ,god has laid in ,zion1 ,christ himself4 ,trust him to save you from every evil without you and within you4 ,when your own weakness sinks you1 try to be strong in his strength2 when guilt disturbs1 wash in the open ,fountain4 ,but hold fast the beginning of your confidence unto the end4 ,be comforted1 fight on1 aim at trusting1 and you shall1 in the ,lord's time1 also1 cease from your own works1 and rest1 with more advanced ,christians1 on the faithfulness of your own ,god in ,christ4 ,see ,hebrews #d3i1 also chap4 #ab throughout4 ,i finish with chap4 #ac3bj1 #ba1 my earnest prayer and sure hope for you1 my precious friend4 ,yours1 etc4 ,writing to her brother ,dr4 ,marshall1 she alludes to the prevalent neglect of the voice of ,god in his judgments1 and notices the death of ,washington4 ,,new ,,york1 ,march #c1 #ahjj4 ,here comes a letter of woe from my dear brother1 on a subject almost already forgotten in ,new ,york1 the yellow-fever4 ,strange as it may seem1 the disease1 and all that it carried off1 seem entirely out of mind4 ,no mention made of the past1 no apprehensions for the future4 ,country retreats are multiplying around1 and people appear as if they had made a covenant with death4 ,potter's ,field is filled with our principal citizens2 the prison and prison limits with many of the survivors4 ,the rest are feasting1 dancing1 and revelling1 or weeping over feigned woe in the theatre--a few excepted1 who have fled for refuge to the hope set before them1 whose eyes have been opened to discern the danger and accept the offered ,saviour3 among which number1 ,i dare1 through grace1 reckon your sister and her children4 ',bless the ,lord1 ,o my soul1 and forget not all his benefits4' ,the city1 indeed the ,united ,states1 have been swallowed up in the loss of ,washington4 ,the utmost stretch of human eloquence has been called forth in panegyric4 ,his eulogium has been sounded in every possible mode--not excepting our pulpits4 ,the #bb;d of ,february1 his birthday1 was set apart to his memory4 ,two of our ministers were appointed to pronounce an eulogium on his character3 one of whom was ,dr4 ,mason1 the other ,dr4 ,linn4 ,the last ,i admired2 it had its due influence over me2 but of my own minister ,i could form no judgment3 the church1 the pulpit1 the man1 the words1 seemed so connected with the ',lord ,jesus ,christ1' his favorite theme1 ,i could not realize the mere orator4 ,great things were said of ,washington1 and they were due4 ,the ,lord himself called him by name1 girded him1 subdued great armies before him1 with handfuls1 like ,gideon4 ,he gave him wisdom in counsel1 and prudence in executing justice4 ,a nation blessed him while he lived1 and with all the power of language lamented his death4 ,ah1 human depravity1 how striking4 ,bursting with gratitude to a creature--with enmity to a ,saviour ,god2 to ,god1 who 'so loved the world1 that he gave his only begotten ,son1 that whosoever believeth on him should not perish1 but have everlasting life2 and to as many as receive him gives power to become the sons of ,god1' by putting his ,spirit within them1 and causing them to love and walk in his statutes4 ,but alas1 the carnal unrenewed mind is enmity against ,god and his ,christ4 ,o that men were wise1 and could see their disease1 and the remedy4 ,what misery is in the world at this day4 ,it is only equalled by the wickedness4 ,how does potsherd dash against potsherd1 mutually destroying each other4 ,how consoling to the ,christian 'that the ,lord reigns4 ,the ,lord sits ,king among the nations1' even our own ,jesus1 ',head over all principalities and powers1 and dominions1 and every name that is named in heaven and in earth2' all these shakings1 turnings1 and overturnings1 shall prove subservient to the real prosperity of his church4 #ahjj4 ,i have entered into my closet2 ,i have shut my door2 ,i would pray to my ,father who is in secret2 ,i would be shut up with my indwelling ,god2 but see the crowds that follow2 see my treacherous heart that gives them admission2 see my unsanctified imagination going off with them1 leaving nothing before thee but a lifeless lump of clay4 ,help1 ,lord4 ,hast thou not redeemed me from vain imaginations8 ,lord1 fill all thy temple2 cast out the buyers and sellers2 thyself prepare room for close1 undisturbed1 holy conference4 ,grant that1 according to the riches of thy glory1 ,i may be strengthened with might by thy ,spirit in the inner man3 dwell in my heart by faith1 that 'rooted and grounded in love1 ,i may be able to comprehend with all saints1 what is the breadth1 and length1 and height1 and depth1 and to know the love of ,christ1 which passeth knowledge1 and be filled with all the fulness of ,god4' ,give unto thy redeemed servant the ,spirit of wisdom and revelation4 ,reveal thyself more and more in my soul2 enlighten the eyes of my understanding4 ,lord1 improve1 enlarge the powers of the new man4 ,spirit of the ,father and of the ,son1 do thine office2 take of the things of ,christ and show them unto me2 that ,i may know what is the hope of his calling1 and what the 'riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints1 and what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe1 according to the working of his mighty power1 which he wrought in ,christ when he raised him from the dead1 and set him at the ,father's right hand1 in the heavenly places1 far above all principalities1 and powers1 and might1 and dominion1 and every name that is named1 not only in this world1 but also in that which is to come2 and hath put all things under his feet1 and given him to be the head over all things to the church1 which is his body1 the fulness of him that filleth all in all4' ,filled with all the fulness of ,god2 'the fulness of him who filleth all in all6' ,o what things are these4 ,my soul stretches to comprehend2 but1 weak and feeble1 cannot climb those glorious heights1 nor dig into these1 to me1 unsearchable depths4 ,i can only spell after the language of the ,holy ,ghost1 lisp out his own words4 ,i dare not trust my powers of comprehension to vary even the mode of expression4 ,well1 it may be best for me2 the valley of humility may be safest for me4 ',father1 glorify thy name4' ,thou hast quickened me2 ,i am not what ,i was4 ,thou hast wrought in me a measure of faith and love2 thou hast sealed me with the ,holy ,spirit of promise2 thou hast given me the earnest of my inheritance2 the full possession shall come in thy appointed time4 ,wherefore ,i will sing unto ,him that is able1 and will do exceeding abundantly above all ,i can ask1 think1 or comprehend1 according to that same mighty power that worketh in us4 ,unto him be glory in the church1 by ,christ ,jesus1 throughout all ages1 world without end4 ,amen4 ,my covenant ,god1 and the ,god of my house4 ,thy ,spirit saith1 ',if any man lack wisdom1 let him ask of ,god4' ,thou knowest the difficulty and danger of the present case4 ,we are ignorant of hidden motions and principles1 of ,satan's suggestions1 of corresponding or discordant circumstances1 of future providences and events4 ,lord1 give counsel4 ,if information and advice be duty on the part of thy servant1 determine on the side of duty1 be the danger what it may2 and ,oh1 search1 try1 and deliver from every selfish or hidden impure motive4 ,give prudence in the choice of words1 in the time and manner as well as purity in the matter4 ,save from injuring any of the individuals concerned4 ,and ,oh1 prepare the heart of thy other servant to receive this office of friendship with a proper degree of confidence4 ,save from unjust suspicions1 that it may be taken as meant in love1 in ,christian love and friendship4 ,o thou who knowest all hearts1 all motives1 all circumstances past1 present1 and future1 overrule for the manifestation of truth1 for the safety and good of thy servant1 and for the closer union of all concerned in the bands of ,christian love1 confidence1 and affection2 and as our covenant ,god1 in whom we trust for guidance in every path of duty1 glorify thy name4 ,i record this prayer in faith1 and wait an answer of peace from thy inward teaching and manifestation in the course of thy providence4 ,amen4 #ahjj4 ',his name shall endure for ever3 his name shall be continued as long as the sun3 and men shall be blessed in him2 all nations shall call him blessed4 ,blessed be the ,lord ,god1 the ,god of ,israel1 who alone doeth wondrous things4 ,and blessed be his glorious name for ever3 and let the whole earth be filled with his glory4 ,amen1 and ,amen4' ,psalm #gb3ag4 ,again have ,i and my children been fed with ,christ's flesh and his blood at his own table4 ,glorious things are said of thee1 thou city of our ,god2 and rich the provision of the house of our ,god2 wonderful the scheme that hath made sinful1 guilty1 rebel sinners the citizens of this holy city1 inhabitants of this holy house4 ,mysterious truth4 ,the city itself the house of ,god2 the temple of the ,lord1 in which he delighteth to dwell4 ,closer yet1 more mysterious1 yet equally true1 'his body1 his flesh1 and his bones2' closer still1 one ,spirit with him4 ,as ,mediator ,emmanuel1 he is the bond of union1 whereby the guilty sons and daughters of ,adam are made one with the ,father1 the ,son1 and the ,holy ,ghost4 ,wonderfully and fearfully are we made as creatures3 as a rational creature1 who can understand and comprehend himself2 how these members were fashioned2 how this spark of vital flame was breathed into the lifeless lump or atom8 ,wonder-working ,lord1 thou only knowest4 ,wonderful are all the works of creation2 but ,oh1 what are they to thy work of redemption8 ,to bring worlds out of nothing1 to bring light out of darkness1 was thy easy work2 but to bring good out of evil1 this1 this was the wonder4 ,thousands and ten thousands of worlds were1 and may yet be created without cost4 ,god says1 ,let it be1 and it is2 but redemption6 ,o1 who can tell the cost8 ,blessed ,jesus1 ,god manifested in the flesh2 ,christ1 babe of ,bethlehem--man of sorrows--victim on the cross2 thou only canst tell4 ',blessed be the ,lord ,god of ,israel1 who alone doeth wondrous things1 and blessed be his glorious name for ever6' ,whatever the cost1 it is finished4 ,he bowed his head and said1 ',it is finished6' ,this finished work is the new testament which he bequeathed to his disciples 'the same night in which he was betrayed1' when he took bread1 blessed it1 brake it1 gave it to his disciples1 and said1 ,take1 eat1 this is my body broken for you2 and took the cup1 and gave thanks1 and gave it to them1 saying1 ,drink ye all of it2 for this is the new testament in my blood1 which is shed for many1 for the remission of sins4 ,the new testament6 ,o1 who can tell the blessings and benefits contained in this testament1 this dying legacy of our dear ,emmanuel1 purchased and sealed with his blood6 ,what is the amount of it8 ,what the sum of blessings contained in it8 ,behold1 ,god is become our salvation4 ,this is the amount4 ,god himself1 ,god in ,christ reconciling us unto himself3 by his mighty power subduing the enmity that is in us2 melting our flinty hearts2 drawing us with the cords of love2 creating us anew after his own image1 which we had totally lost2 uniting us to himself1 even us1 who were enmity itself1 but now are become one with ,god1 who is love4 ,this is the work we have this day been celebrating3 a given1 a born1 a living1 a suffering1 dying1 risen1 ascended1 glorified1 reigning ,saviour4 ,the ,lord of hosts1 the ,king of kings1 the ,almighty ,god dwelling with men1 dwelling in men1 and feeding them with his own body and blood4 ',behold1 ,god is become our salvation2 we will trust and not be afraid1 for the ,lord ,jehovah is our strength and our song2 he also is become our salvation1 therefore with joy will we draw water out of the wells of salvation4' ,his attributes are the never-failing source2 his ordinances the wells of salvation4 ,god himself is ours1 all that he is is ours1 to bless and to make us happy4 ,ten thousand springs issue from this blessed source1 specified and particularized in his ,bible1 experienced and celebrated by his saints4 ,let us drink and be refreshed1 rejoice and praise3 for ,oh1 who can tell the amount of our riches1 in having ,god for our portion8 ,all things are ours1 we are ,christ's1 and ,christ is ,god's4 ,the ,widows' ,society met monthly1 when the money in the treasury was divided among the managers1 for the relief of the widows under their care4 ,mrs4 ,graham1 as directress1 thus acknowledges ,god and asks his counsel3 #ahjj4 ,o my ,god1 ,i account it an honorable office thou hast given me4 ,i have received it from thee4 ,enable me to execute it to thee4 ,father of the fatherless1 husband of the widow1 make me a fit instrument in thy hand of distributing thy bounty4 ,give discernment and judgment1 tenderness1 gentleness1 humility1 and love2 let love to thee be the principle of my every action2 lead me in the straight path of duty2 on the matter1 the manner1 the time1 let 'holiness to the ,lord' be written4 ,i thank thee for this sum towards the relief of thy creatures2 be with us this evening1 and direct our determination as to the division of it4 ,amen4 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,benevolent ,,labors--,,mrs4 ,,hoffman-- ,,correspondence4 ,the ,society for the relief of ,poor ,widows with small ,children1 having received a charter of incorporation1 and some pecuniary aid from the ,legislature of the state1 the ladies who constituted the board of direction were engaged in plans for extending their usefulness3 ,mrs4 ,graham took an active part in executing these plans4 ,the ,society purchased a small house1 where they received work of various kinds for the employment of their widows4 ,they opened a school for the instruction of their orphans1 and many of ,mrs4 ,graham's former pupils volunteered their services1 taking upon themselves1 by rotation1 the part of instructors4 ,besides establishing this school1 ,mrs4 ,graham selected some of the widows best qualified for the task1 and engaged them1 for a small compensation1 to open day schools for the instruction of the children of widows in distant parts of the city3 she also established two ,sabbath-schools1 one of which she superintended herself1 and the other she placed under the care of her daughter4 ,wherever she met with ,christians sick and in poverty1 she visited and comforted them2 and in some instances1 opened small subscription lists to provide for their support4 ,she attended occasionally for some years at the almshouse1 for the instruction of the children there in religious knowledge3 in this work she was much assisted by an humble and pious female friend1 who was seldom absent from it on the ,lord's day4 ,in short1 her whole time was occupied in searching out the distresses of the poor1 and devising measures to comfort and establish them to the extent of her influence and means4 ,at the same time1 far from arrogating any merit to herself1 she seemed always to feel how much she was deficient in following fully the precepts and the footsteps of her beloved ,lord and ,saviour1 who went about doing good4 ,it was often her custom to leave home after breakfast1 taking with her a few rolls of bread1 and return in the evening about eight o'clock4 ,her only dinner on such days was her bread1 and perhaps some soup at the soup-house1 established by the ,humane ,society for the poor1 over which one of her widows had been1 at her recommendation1 appointed4 ,she and her venerable companion1 ,mrs4 ,sarah ,hoffman1 second directress of the ,widows' ,society1 travelled many a day and many a step together in the walks of charity4 ,mrs4 ,graham was a ,presbyterian1 ,mrs4 ,hoffman an ,episcopalian4 ,those barriers1 of which such an unhappy use has been made by sectarians to separate the children of ,god1 fell down between these two friends at the cry of affliction1 and were consumed on the altar of ,christian love4 ,arm in arm1 and heart to heart1 they visited the abodes of distress1 dispensing temporal aid from the purse of charity1 and spiritual comfort from the word of life4 ,at each annual meeting1 ,mrs4 ,graham usually gave an address to the ,society1 with a report of the proceedings of the managers through the preceding year4 ,in ,april1 #ahjj1 she stated that again the pestilence had emptied the city2 again every source of industry was dried up2 even the streams of benevolence from the country failed4 ,those storehouses1 from which relief was issued to thousands in former calamities1 now disappointed their hopes2 and those spared by the pestilence were ready to perish by the famine4 ,such widows as had no friends in the country1 under whose roof they might for a time seek shelter1 were shut up to the only relief within their power1 even to that society which had formerly saved them in many a strait4 ,they came1 were received with tenderness1 assisted with1 food1 advice1 and medicine4 ,four of the society's board1 at the risk of their lives1 remained in the city1 steady in the exercise of their office4 ,one hundred and forty-two widows1 with four hundred and six children1 under twelve years of age1 by far the greater part under six1 have1 from time to time1 during the winter1 been visited and relieved4 ,widow is a word of sorrow in the best of circumstances2 but a widow left poor1 destitute1 friendless1 surrounded with a number of small children1 shivering with cold1 pale with want1 looking in her face with eyes pleading for bread which she has not to give1 nor any probable prospect of procuring--her situation is neither to be described nor conceived4 ,many such scenes were witnessed during the last winter2 and though none could restore the father and the husband1 the hearts of the mourners were soothed by the managers1 while they dispensed the relief provided for them by their ,father and their ,husband1 ,god4 ,in the summer of #ahjj1 ,mrs4 ,graham again visited her friends in ,boston1 whence she wrote her daughter ,mrs4 ,b---- as follows3 ,,boston1 ,august1 #ahjj4 ,i yesterday received my dear ,j----'s letter1 which gives fresh cause for thankfulness4 ,the more my absence is lengthened1 the less ,i am able to support the want of intelligence4 ,let us all bless ,god together for all his mercies3 among those which are temporal1 health is the chief2 and ,i believe to most mothers it is more valued in their children than in their own persons4 ,i rejoice with you over our restored ,j----y4 ,o that our covenant ,god may give the more important blessing of divine life4 ,you had need to be importunate for this1 after the importunity exercised for natural life4 ,i thank ,god also for the alleviation of your own distress1 for our dear ,d----'s restoration from complaints less alarming so far as they existed1 but which might have been the seeds of serious affliction4 ,i could go on enumerating1 for causes of thankfulness crowd into my mind2 but all are swallowed up in the grand mercy1 the distinguishing mercy of redeeming love to our souls4 ,salvation1 not only to me1 but to my house4 ,oh1 all words fail here4 ,read over with me1 sing with me1 in your heart1 the #ajc;d ,psalm4 ,o my ,god1 dare ,i even sigh in thy presence1 under any temporal pain1 or hurt of body or mind1 with such a ,father1 such a ,christ1 such a ,comforter1 such a richly-furnished well-ordered covenant1 such a constitution of grace and providence--,o1 such an all in all1 even 'all the fulness of ,god4' ,my ,god and the ,god of my seed1 the ,god of my house2 yea1 and the ,god of my prodigal1 who shall in heaven1 if never on earth1 join the song1 ',to him that loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood1 be glory1 honor1 dominion1 power1 and praise1 for ever and ever4 ,amen4' ,o shall a murmur ever pass these lips1 shall this unthankful heart indulge even a sigh over any object but sin2 shall ,i shrink from any cross with such a crown8 ,father1 glorify thy name4 ,i have been to church2 the subject1 'be not weary in well-doing4' ,many arguments were adduced for exertion2 but the gospel was wanting4 ,o that my friends could hear our shepherd2 he would sound his ,master's voice more in unison with their own hearts' experience1 and views of new covenant provision and gospel motives3 except in the ,baptist congregations1 the gospel is much mutilated here1 and kept out of sight even by the few who are supposed to build upon it4 ,sabbath next brings round your--,i will add1 my gospel feast4 ,i will endeavor to meet you to-morrow evening1 and to have you all on my heart1 then and on the ,sabbath1 in that one ,lord1 one faith1 one ,spirit1 one ,god and ,father of all1 who is above all1 through all1 and in all redeemed to himself by ,jesus ,christ1 and sanctified by that one ,spirit uniting all4 ,what subjects6 ,i cannot attain to the comprehension1 but ,i experience the truth and enjoy the comfort of them4 ,the two following letters1 addressed to a young lady whose acquaintance ,mrs4 ,graham made while at ,boston1 show how tenderly she sympathized with the feelings of the young1 and how earnestly she sought their good4 ,to ,miss ,m----1 ,boston4 ,there was1 my dear ,miss ,m----1 something in your countenance and manner1 at our last interview1 which has dwelt on my mind ever since4 ,your former attentions1 which ,i also marked1 ,i attributed to the natural benevolence of your heart2 but your following a stranger1 an old woman1 of whom you know so little1 and whom you were likely never to see again1 to solicit her friendship and an interest in her prayers1 spoke a language beyond nature4 ,either my sweet friend has already chosen ,god in ,christ to be her portion1 and his love in her heart powerfully draws her to every one in whom she thinks she discerns his image1 or she conceives that this world cannot give her happiness even in this life2 and impressed with the importance of that which is to come1 she wishes to cast in her lot among ,god's people1 that she may know the good of his chosen and rejoice in their joy1 and become a partaker of that peace which the ,saviour bequeathed to his disciples when about to leave them3 ',peace ,i leave with you4 ,my peace ,i give unto you2 not as the world giveth1 give ,i unto you2 let not your heart be troubled1 neither let it be afraid4' ,let me congratulate my friend1 which ever of these be the case4 ,if the first1 you have1 or will soon have1 a peace which the world can neither give nor take away2 if the last1 the ,saviour stands at the door of your heart and knocks1 soliciting that heart which has too long been hunting shadows and vanity4 ,if your soul is dissatisfied with the things of the world1 and tired with disappointment1 cast a longing eye to the fountain of happiness4 ,this is the claim of that ,god whose name is love3 ',my son1 give me thy heart4' ',come unto me1 all ye that labor and are heavy laden1 and ,i will give you rest4' ',in the world ye shall have tribulation1 but in me ye shall have peace4' ,be assured1 my dear friend1 if you could obtain all of this world that your heart could wish for1 you would find vanity written on the possession4 ,nothing short of ,god himself can give happiness to the soul2 and exactly in proportion as man becomes weaned from the world1 and his affections centre in ,god1 is he in possession of happiness4 ,but how is this to be attained8 ,by ,god's own plan1 and no other4 ,as many weary themselves in vain1 hunting the shadows of time2 so1 many great philosophers1 sensible of this great truth1 that ,god alone can satisfy the rational soul1 also weary themselves in vain1 because they will not seek the blessing in ,god's own way4 ',when the world by wisdom knew not ,god1 it pleased him by the foolishness of preaching'--what was esteemed so--'to save them that believe4' ',i thank thee1 ,o ,father1 that thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent1 and hast revealed them unto babes4' ,the ,saviour said1 ',ye will not come to me1 that ye might have life4 ,no man can come to the ,father but by me4 ,i am the way1 the truth1 and the life4' ',search the ,scriptures1 for in them ye think ye have eternal life1 and they are they which testify of me4' ,the ,scripture testifies what our own hearts must assent to1 that human nature is depraved and corrupt2 broken off from ,god2 at a distance from him by sin2 enmity against him in his true character2 opposed to his holy law1 in its extent and spirituality3 we are also helpless1 dead in trespasses and sins4 ',o ,israel1 thou hast destroyed thyself'--blessed be ,god for what follows--'but in me is thy help4' ,the same ,scripture which testifies the misery of man1 reveals also his remedy--a remedy of ,god's own providing1 by which man may be restored to the image and favor of ,god1 and to that communion with him which is life and bliss4 ',god so loved the world1 that he gave his only begotten ,son1 that whosoever believeth on him might not perish1 but have everlasting life3 for ,god sent not his ,son into the world to condemn the world1 but that the world through him might be saved4 ,and this is life eternal1 that ye believe on him whom he hath sent4' ,when man becomes convinced that he is lost1 helpless1 wretched1 lying at mercy1 and submits to the method of ,god's own providing2 casts himself on the mercy of ,god in ,christ1 and coming to him1 rests on his free promise1 ',him that cometh to me1 ,i will in no wise cast-out2' disclaiming all confidence in himself1 or in his own works1 he accepts of ,god's offered grace1 in ,god's own way1 a free and finished salvation4 ,this is the record of ,god1 that he giveth unto us eternal life1 and this life is in his ,son2 who1 of ,god1 is made unto us wisdom1 and righteousness1 and sanctification1 and complete redemption4 ,believing this1 according to his faith it shall be4 ,christ shall be in him1 'a well of water springing up to everlasting life4' ,he will shed abroad his love in his heart1 and according to his promise1 give him power to become a child of ,god4 ,the ,holy ,ghost1 the ,comforter1 shall be given unto him1 to teach him the knowledge of the ,scriptures1 and to become a principle of holiness in his heart4 ,then shall he find that wisdom's ways are ways of pleasantness1 and all her paths peace2 then shall he experience the blessedness of that man whose ,god is the ,lord2 then is the way open for communion and converse with ,god the ,father1 ,son1 and ,holy ,ghost4 ,if1 my dear ,miss ,m----1 ,i have made myself understood1 you have my view of ,god's method of making his creatures happy2 and ,i believe he will make us to know that he is a sovereign ,god1 and that there is no other name1 or method1 by which men can be saved1 but the name of ,christ ,jesus4 ,but1 take nothing on my word1 nor the word of any creature2 search the ,scriptures2 read the first eight chapters of the ,romans1 the whole of the ,ephesians3 stumble not at mysteries--pass them over1 and take the milk for babes2 pray for the teaching of the ,spirit2 and let me recommend to you the advice of ,mr4 ,newton1 in his ,omicron's ,letters1 a book well worth your reading4 ',lay not too much stress on detached texts1 but seek for the sense which is most agreeable to the general strain of ,scripture4' ,my dear ,miss ,m----1 ,i am now old1 and ,i hope have done with the world2 but ,i have been young and drunk deeply of youth's choicest pleasures4 ,i was blest with the best and most indulgent of parents2 ,i was the wife of a man of sense1 sentiment1 and sensibility1 who was my very first love and lover2 and that love ripened and improved with years4 ,my children were good and healthy2 love1 health1 peace1 and competency blessed our dwelling4 ,i had also1 in early life1 taken hold of ,god's covenant1 and tasted his covenant love2 and devoted myself to his service1 which was in my mind a principle of moderation1 compared with mere worldlings2 but very far was ,i from that non-conformity to the world which the precept of the gospel requires4 ,had ,i kept close to my covenant ,god1 enjoyed his bounty with thankfulness1 occupied my talents1 devoted my time to usefulness and communion with him2 had ,i prayed against corruption within and temptation without1 the ,lord would have directed my steps and held up my goings1 and ,i should have continued to inherit the earth1 and should not have been diminished4 ,but this was very far from being my conduct2 the bent of the natural1 unrenewed heart1 is still opposed to ,god2 and the best are sanctified only in part1 while in this life2 the law in the members still wars against the law of the ,spirit of life in the mind4 ,the goodness of ,god1 which ought to have been a powerful motive to gratitude1 love1 and diligence1 was misimproved2 ,i enjoyed the gifts1 and forgot the giver2 'hugged my comforts to death4' ,many1 many light chastisements1 my dear1 my kind1 my indulgent heavenly ,father exercised me with2 ,i had many repenting seasons under his strokes1 many manifestations of pardon ,i received1 and many fresh and solemn dedications of my heart1 life1 and substance did ,i make2 but no sooner was ease and comfort restored1 than my heart turned aside like a deceitful bow3 my whole life1 from fifteen till the thirtieth year of my age1 was one continued succession of departure and backsliding on my part--of chastening1 forgiving1 restoring1 and comforting on the part of my ,god4 ,he did not cast me off1 but dealt with me according to the constitution of his well-ordered covenant3 ',if his children1' ,christ's1 'forsake my law and walk not in my judgments1 if they break my statutes and keep not my commandments1 then will ,i visit their transgression with the rod1 and their iniquity with stripes4 ,nevertheless1 my loving-kindness will ,i not utterly take from him1 nor suffer my faithfulness to fail2 my covenant will ,i not break1 nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips4' ,psalm #hi3cj4 ,this is the covenant--made with ,christ as the head of all who believe--of which ,i took hold in early life2 my ,god kept me to my choice1 and manifested his own faithfulness and the stability of his covenant4 ,when lighter afflictions proved ineffectual1 he at last1 at one blow1 took from me all that made life dear1 the very kernel of all my earthly joys1 my idol1 my beloved husband4 ,then ,i no longer halted between two opinions2 my ,god became my all4 ,i leave it as my testimony1 that he has been a father to the fatherless1 a husband to the widow1 the stranger's shield and orphan's stay4 ,even to hoar hairs and to old age he has carried me1 and not one good word has failed of all that he has promised4 ',he has done all things well1' and at this day ,i am richer and happier than ever ,i was in my life4 ,not that ,i am yet made free from sin1 that is still my burden--want of love and gratitude1 indolence in commanded duty1 self-will1 and nestling in the creature4 ,but my heart's wish and earnest desire is conformity to the divine will4 ,the bent of my will is for ,god2 and if my heart deceive me not1 my ,god is the centre of my best affections4 ,it is by grace that ,i am what ,i am1 and the same grace engages to perfect the work begun4 ,this ,god is my ,god2 he will guide me even unto death1 through death1 and be my portion to eternity4 ,this ,god ,i recommend to my friend2 and this well-ordered covenant1 this all-sufficient ,saviour1 for your acceptance3 the ,bible for your guide1 pray to ,god for his ,holy ,spirit to lead you to the knowledge of the very truth as it is in ,jesus4 ,accept this as a testimony of friendship1 and believe me ,yours1 in love1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,to the same4 ,,november #b1 #ahjj4 ,you have1 ,i find1 been the child of affliction3 she is a stern1 rugged nurse2 but blessed often are the lessons she teaches4 ,i have1 says ,god1 chosen thee in the furnace of affliction4 ,it is ,god's ordinary way of drawing sinners to himself1 either to dry up or imbitter the streams of worldly comfort1 that he may shut them up to seek that comfort that depends not on any transitory source4 ,i have no doubt but you shall yet sing with the royal ,psalmist1 ',it is good for me that ,i have been afflicted2 for before ,i was afflicted ,i went astray1 but now ,i have kept thy word4 ,blessed is the man thou chastenest1 ,o ,lord1 and teachest him out of thy law4' ,many are the texts to the same purport2 take them for your consolation as a part of ,god's well-ordered covenant4 ,you have met with a late bereavement1 which has entered deep into your soul4 ,we are not called to stoicism1 but to tenderness of heart and spirit4 ,jesus wept with the two sisters over a brother's grave4 ,but still1 the ,christian's spirit must be resigned1 and say1 and try to say with cheerfulness1 ',not my will1 but thine be done4' ,and ,oh1 my friend1 great will be the wisdom and happy the acquisition1 if every new bereavement enlarge the room for divine love in the heart1 and be filled up with that most noble1 most blessed of principles4 ,seek not1 my friend1 to replace friendship with any mere worldling2 beg of ,god to fill up the vacuum1 then will you be a great gainer4 ,why hesitate to join the church8 ,let not a sense of unworthiness keep you back--a deep sense of unworthiness is one grand part of due preparation2 and no worthiness of yours can give you any title to that new testament in ,christ's blood1 which was shed for the remission of sins4 ,worthless1 vile1 empty1 helpless is every son and daughter of ,adam's race3 but it was for the ungodly that ,christ died2 it was while we were without strength2 his name was called ,jesus1 because he should save his people from their sins4 ,in that day1 that great day of the feast1 ,jesus stood among a mixed multitude1 and cried1 ',if any man thirst1 let him come to me and drink--whosoever will1 let him take the water of life freely4' ,if conscious at the time it is the supreme desire of your soul to be washed in his blood1 clothed with his righteousness1 sanctified by his ,spirit1 go and take this water of life freely2 go as a sinner to a ,saviour2 go at his command1 put honor on his appointment1 and repeat the dedication of all that you are1 have1 or can have1 over the symbols of his body broken for you1 his blood shed for you2 go1 trusting in his mercy1 and leave all to his management1 believing that he will shed abroad his love in your heart1 order your footsteps in his ways1 and in due time perfect his image in your soul4 ,keep close to him in the use of means1 but look beyond the means for life and power4 ,i commit you to our ,god and ,saviour1 and pray that he may be to you 'wisdom1 righteousness1 sanctification1' and complete 'redemption4' ,i am1 my dear ,miss ,m----1 ,your ever affectionate1 ,i4,g4 ,in ,march1 #ahja1 the health of her daughter ,mrs4 ,b----1 requiring a sea-voyage and absence from care1 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,b---- sailed for ,britain1 and the following letters were addressed to them during their absence3 ,,march #bc1 #ahja4 ,,my ,,dear ,,children--,this is mortifying to us all that you should be anchored half a mile from us1 and there lie for hours2 but even this1 trifling as it may appear1 has its end to answer in ,his scheme1 without whom 'not a sparrow falls4' ,i have retired with my ,bible1 to commit you1 and all my cares and concerns1 afresh to that ,god whose goodness and mercy have followed us through life2 who is my ,god1 your ,god1 and the ,god of our children2 who answered my prayers in opposition to my inconsistent conduct2 took you out of my idolatrous management into his own more merciful guidance4 ,he has done all things well1 and he will perfect his own work4 ,now1 may the ,angel that redeemed you1 be with you1 keep you in the hollow of his hand1 and as the apple of his eye2 be with you on his own ocean1 and command the billows not to touch you2 carry you to the bosom of your dear native country1 where a large proportion of his body live in him and by him2 bless you1 and make you a blessing wherever his providence shall carry you1 and restore you with blessings to us1 in his own time4 ,amen4 ,,sabbath1 after morning service1 ,march #bi4 ,this1 my dear children1 is a day of storm1 wind1 and rain4 ,o that the prayer of our dear pastor1 and ,i hope of many present1 may be with you1 and be answered to and for you3 ,lord1 be with that family1 who now1 on the mighty ocean1 desire an interest in our prayers4 ,may he whom winds and waves obey1 preserve them in this tempestuous season2 may they see and improve his wonders in the great deep2 may the blessings of the everlasting gospel preserve their souls in peace1 conduct them in safety to their destined port1 and restore them to us1 enriched with the blessings of thy well-ordered covenant4 ,i sent two notes for the ,dutch churches1 enclosed to ,mr4 ,b----2 one for ,wall-street1 to ,mr4 ,a----1 and one for the ,brick church1 to ,mr4 ,m----4 ,i watered all with my tears4 ,,five ,o',,clock4 ,o1 how it blows and rains4 ,o my children1 how my poor heart aches for you2 if not in danger1 yet sick1 and in much discomfort4 ,i gave a note in the old church in the afternoon1 supposing the congregation on this dreadful day to be different4 ,mr4 ,m---- prayed3 ,the ,angel of thy presence be with them2 give them much of the consolations of thy ,spirit4 ,conduct them in safety to the place of their destination1 and restore them1 enriched with thy blessing1 to worship with us again in this thy house of prayer4' ,i write on this day merely to record1 for your perusal1 the prayers of your church4 ,i think you ought1 if the ,lord conduct you safe1 to propose public thanks to that ,god who heard and answered1 if agreeable to ,mr4 ,m----4 ,write me how it was with you on this day4 ,now ,i will go to a throne of grace for you and all of us4 ,o keep close to the ,lord2 may he save you from a dissipated1 trifling1 carnal spirit2 may he sanctify all your comforts1 and give you a just estimation of all you see and hear3 may the ,christian's portion rise more and more2 and the world and its vanities sink in your view4 ,,april #aj4 ,what the ,lord is going to do with his and my children ,i know not2 but the ,samuel ,elam has returned to port with a leak1 after being out nineteen days4 ,on the day of storm1 she had seven feet of water in her hold4 ,i hope the ,lord1 in mercy to you1 to his church1 and to me his unworthy servant1 has guided you in safety1 and that the prayers of his church were answered in your behalf4 ,o1 my children1 what would be the situation of my heart had ,i not confidence of your being within the ark4 ,i desire to rejoice over all my fears1 for this unspeakable consolation1 that nothing can hurt you4 ,i experience for you what ,i did in my own case1 when darkness and tempest added to the horrors of many1 while our vessel kept dashing on the rock3 ,i1 too1 expected her to go to pieces every moment2 but the idea was ever with me1 'in the bosom of ,god's ocean1 ,i shall find the bosom of my ,saviour4' ,on the night of the #bith of ,march ,i dreamt my dear ,j----y fell overboard1 and ,i saw her floating on the billows1 supporting herself by her little chair3 this is the state of my mind2 yet ,i am thankful1 and enjoy much peace4 ,the ,lord has given me what ,i have asked--the salvation of your souls4 ,in a little time we shall all be gathered around his throne4 ,well may ,i leave to him all intervening circumstances1 as well as who goes first1 and how4 ,o how he blesses my latter end1 how he soothes and comforts my old age2 far other things have ,i merited1 that my soul knows2 but he has not only pardoned1 but comforts1 and draws a veil over my transgressions1 covering them from the world's observation4 ,what can ,i say8 ,he is ,god1 a ,god of mercy4 ,,april #ag4 ,i have brought the reality near me1 that mine eyes may never behold you again on earth4 ,i can say1 even of that1 it is well2 but the idea of the horrors of tempest1 a leaky vessel racked by the storm1 and sinking by inches2 sickness1 nervous timidity1 and the sufferings to be undergone before the entrance to the haven of rest be attained1 is my chief disquietude1 ,i will not even say distress1 because when these horrors--horrors they are to mere nature--dart across my mind1 filling my soul with momentary anguish1 ,satan too seeking to distract my mind1 the ,spirit of the ,lord lifts up a standard against him1 and comforts me with his own word1 the everlasting promises suited to every possible circumstance in the believer's lot4 ,thousands of times have ,i grasped that promise1 ',leave thy fatherless children1 ,i will preserve them alive4' ,i pleaded it for the life of their souls2 ,he answered my prayers2 he has given them life1 and they live to him4 ,yes1 ,i see the fruit1 and though iniquities still prevail against them1 he still purges away their transgressions2 kindles their repentance2 humbles their souls2 lays them prostrate in penitential confession2 washes them afresh in the open fountain2 restores to them the joys of his salvation2 seals their pardon by shedding abroad his love in their hearts1 and making them walk in the path of righteousness for his own name's sake4 ,thus he carries them on from strength to strength by various means of his own appointing1 and some terrible things in righteousness1 in the course of his providence2 in all which he is sovereign1 but ever consistent with his new covenant name1 as proclaimed to ,moses on the mount1 as manifested in the character of ,god dwelling with us in our own nature1 in whom mercy shone prominent2 by which mercy they shall appear in ,zion1 before ,god1 in due time4 ,is it so8 ,is this ,god my ,god1 and the ,god of my seed8 ,is he himself become our salvation8 ,are we heirs of ,god and joint-heirs with ,christ8 ,is our life hid with ,christ in ,god8 ,when he appears1 shall we1 ,i and the children which he hath given me1 in very deed appear with him in glory8 ,is all this so1 and shall ,i tremble at the approach of any of his providences8 ,shall ,i not say when it has taken place1 ',the will of the ,lord be done1' especially when clothed with love8 ,i trust that as my day1 so shall my strength be1 and in the interim ,i have the same confidence for you2 for 'he giveth power to the faint1 and to them that have no might he increaseth strength4' ,,april #be4 ,the wind roars and howls in my windows1 though not facing the storm1 and the white waves in the river picture in my mind the foaming billows of the ocean4 ,the name of our ,god is my consolation3 'though the waters roar and be troubled1 though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof1 there is a river the streams whereof shall make glad the city of ,god4 ,god shall help her1 and that right early4' ,when ,i walk about ,zion1 and go round about her1 when ,i tell the towers thereof1 mark her bulwarks1 and consider her palaces1 my heart rejoices that 'this ,god is our ,god2 he will be our guide even unto death2 and ,o the joy that my children are the citizens of this ,zion1 and the heirs of all the promises by virtue of the new testament in ,christ's blood4 ,a covenant of works it was to our ,surety1 and his heart's blood finished the requisites of it4 ,it is now a testament to you1 sealed by the same blood4 ,wherever in his word ,i meet the character1 the providence1 the work of ,god1 ,i read my own and my children's interest4 ,i hope your experience shall be in ,psalm #ajg3bh4 ,if not wholly1 it shall terminate in ,psalm #bc3d4 ,though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death1 you shall fear no evil1 for this ,god1 who is your guide even unto death1 shall be with you1 his rod and staff shall comfort you2 and our darling ,jessy he shall carry as a lamb in his arms1 and hide her from the horrors1 in his bosom4 ,i dwell much on these subjects1 and ,i feel comforted1 whatever be the event4 ,if the ,lord has carried you safe through1 and you live to read this in the body1 know that our ,god continues to bless us abundantly in health1 peace1 and plenty1 as to temporals2 we also experience the peace of his covenant1 and have tastes of the bread and of the water of life4 ,thanks1 all thanks to our new covenant ,head for the stability of the covenant2 we change1 but he changeth not4 ,he himself is the covenant given to the people1 and because he lives1 his people shall live also1 in spite of ,satan and his colleague sin in our hearts3 sin may1 and does bring his people into captivity1 but it shall not keep them in bondage for ever4 ,the time of deliverance shall come1 when they shall revive as the corn4 ,oh1 is it not a well-ordered covenant1 and sure8 ,her next letter gives an illustration of fidelity in a difficult1 and1 it is to be feared1 much-neglected duty4 ,,may #aj1 #ahja4 ,,my ,,dear ,,children--,last evening was preparation sermon4 ,mr4 ,y---- preached a very excellent sermon from the ,song of ,solomon1 ',who is this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved8' ,first the wilderness of this world1 next the church coming up1 then the attitude leaning1 and on whom2 ,i thought the simile well supported1 and practical1 as he went on4 ,his application was rich on the ,christian's support1 where he brought into view many of the names of ,christ4 ,after sermon we witnessed a most affecting scene2 two female members rebuked and restored to the communion of the church4 ,never1 never did our dear ,mr4 ,m---- shine so bright in my eyes2 many tears were shed4 ,i knew nothing of it1 and wondered to what he was leading1 when he addressed the congregation1 after sermon1 upon ,christian walk1 watchfulness1 and temptation1 and the distress occasioned in ,christian society when any of the members were left to fall into open and aggravated sin4 ,such was the case in our own congregation3 two1 naming the offenders1 had been so far left2 but while deeply wounded by the sin and scandal1 he was consoled by their penitence3 he assured the congregation that they had given great evidence of deep contrition2 and were now come forward to acknowledge their crime before their offended and grieved brethren1 and to give all the satisfaction in their power1 by submitting to the censure of the church in this public manner1 which1 although painful to him1 he must pronounce according to ,god's appointment4 ',them who sin before all1 rebuke before all4' ,he then asked them to rise2 scarce an individual turned to look2 many were weeping while he laid before them their guilt in strong1 yet tender terms2 and finished by expressing his approbation of their thus submitting to the rod1 and exhorting them to humility and redoubled watchfulness4 ,then again he addressed the members1 requesting them to receive into their ,christian love and affection their repenting1 returning sisters2 that they would treat them with tenderness1 and restore them in the spirit of meekness1 considering themselves as also in the body and subject to temptation4 ',let no one put them in remembrance of the sin which the ,father of mercies has blotted out1 nor open those wounds which he has closed1' ',he doth not chide continually1 nor retain his anger for ever4' ,may the ,lord bless the discipline of his church2 may he meet us to-morrow with multiplied pardons3 may he melt our hearts to contrition1 heal our backslidings1 and manifest himself as married unto us2 may he bring us into his banqueting house and his banner over us be love2 may his grace be magnified and his name glorified2 and may he send a portion to my dear children--yea1 a ,benjamin's portion2 may he open wide the leaves of that new testament1 and let them read their rich inheritance and rejoice in their portion4 ,farewell1 my dear children4 ,the ,lord bless you1 keep you1 guide you1 and cause his face to shine on you1 prays your affectionate mother4 ,the following to the same1 was written while on a visit to a worldly friend3 ,,may #ba1 #ahja4 ,i would fain begin to hope that my children are now on1 or near the green fields of ,albion4 ,many a severe gale has agitated them1 and tried their faith and confidence before this day4 ,but as ,he who sitteth on the clouds1 commanding and governing the elements1 is their own ,god in covenant1 who loves them1 careth for them1 and perfects what concerns them1 ,i hope they have had much of his presence3 ,i hope they have found1 even on the boisterous ocean1 amidst the horrors of the swelling deep1 agitated with winds and tempests1 all things necessary to life and godliness in these great and precious promises1 accompanied by divine power1 by which they are made partakers of divine life1 and escape the pollution that is in the world through lust4 ,i hope they are enriched in experience1 and advanced in the divine life1 by all they have suffered1 and all they have tasted of divine support in their sufferings2 that ,christ is still more precious1 his word more tried1 and their confidence in him more established3 if so1 great is their gain4 ,and our darling ,j----1 being a sharer in the suffering1 shall1 at her ,god's hand1 be also a gainer1 though it be not evident to our perception4 ,o how rich is the ,christian1 how inexhaustible his portion6 his table is ever furnished1 his cup ever full2 all is blessing1 no curse mingled--that our ,surety took to himself2 prosperity and adversity1 sickness and health1 light and darkness1 all1 all shall bless us1 work for our good1 turn to our profit1 and end in the glory of ,god and our unspeakable1 inconceivable happiness4 ,i have been here a week yesterday2 all vegetable nature glows and shines in the perfection of beauty2 flowers1 shrubs1 trees1 grain1 grass1 falling waters turning the busy mill1 the brook murmuring on its way to the ocean1 fit emblem of eternity1 all glorify their ,creator2 and although no such birds as in ,britain charm the listening ear1 we have some sweet chirpers of his praise2 and what is wanting to the ear1 is made up to the eye1 for in beauty they excel4 ,these ,i may enjoy2 with these hold communion2 for ,oh1 spiritual death holds all within these walls in dismal bondage2 not one symptom of life appears1 but death1 as the dry bones in the valley of vision4 ,why do ,i not wrestle more for the ,spirit to breathe on them8 ,i do pray3 but ,oh1 formal1 formal4 ,to the same4 ,,june #ag1 #ahja4 ,,my ,,dear ,,children--,difficult it is for me to exercise patience3 the #bc;d1 of this month will make three months since you waved the handkerchief on board the ,mars1 off the ,battery4 ,i had made up my mind not to give way to expectation short of three months2 they are nearly past3 how many events take place in that space of time2 how many duties ought to be performed2 how many sins are really committed2 how guilty to wish to annihilate the time that a certain event may come round4 ,for every moment of time we must account1 and not one moment of it can we recall4 ,much you have seen2 much you have suffered2 much1 perhaps1 also enjoyed3 for the ,lord can give songs in the night1 and in a dungeon4 ',surely his salvation is nigh them that fear him2' to them there is no want4 ,the ,lord is their shepherd1 he feedeth them in green pastures beside the gently flowing waters2 if they wander1 he restoreth them1 perhaps with the rod1 but it is the rod of love2 they need not be afraid to enter even the valley of the shadow of death2 their ,shepherd is with them1 and his rod1 rod of support1 and staff shall comfort them4 ,i hope this has been a profitable time to you both2 that you have seen more of the evil of sin1 and of your own hearts1 their deceitful double turnings and windings to cover and conceal the enemy of ,god and your own souls2 more of the extent and spirituality of the divine law1 fulfilled indeed in every jot and tittle by your ,surety2 but still doubly binding on you as a rule of life in the hand of your ,redeemer1 who hath bought you to himself1 and taken you into his own hands1 that you might be a holy people to himself1 delivered not merely from the penalty and curse1 but from the power and indwelling of sin4 ,i hope you have seen more of the unsearchable riches of ,christ in all he has done and is now doing for your and his church's happiness1 and of those exceeding great and precious promises by which you are made partakers of the-divine life1 and privileged to escape the pollution that is in the world through lust2 more of the faithfulness of ,god1 as a ,god in ,christ1 pardoning sin and reconciling you to himself2 and day by day1 teaching you by his word1 ,spirit1 and providences4 ,i am but just beginning to see that ,i am blind2 my own character opening upon me as a sinner1 in heart and tongue and conduct1 against my ,god1 my neighbor1 and my own soul3 how comes it then that ,i am at ease in ,god's world2 in health1 in peace1 in comfort1 all in an extraordinary degree as to temporals2 and as to spirituals1 though grieved with self1 my joy in ,christ also abounds4 ,can ,i believe it8 ,what can ,i say2 what can ,i render to the ,lord for all his gifts to me8 ,nothing can ,i do1 but just take the cup of salvation1 calling upon the name of the ,lord1 and remain an eternal debtor to his grace for spirituals and temporals4 ,,june #bf4 ,by this time you are already in port1 on earth or in heaven4 ,blessed alternative4 ,ought ,i to be sad1 who can say1 'or in heaven8' ,o no1 ,i trust grace will be given to acquiesce in his most blessed will2 a most gracious will it has been to me and mine4 ,i wrote you in my last1 that our dear ,mr4 ,m---- leaves us next month for ,britain2 his errand is to state the situation of this country1 as greatly in want of ministers and the means of educating ministers4 ,many of his people are dissatisfied1 as he has two congregations to supply1 and a large family of his own4 ,why should he be the man8 ,for my own part1 ,i think he is the very man2 and ,i am thankful to feel a degree of disinterestedness4 ,though ,i love my minister1 value his ministry and his person1 ,i hope the general interest of ,christ's body is more dear to me1 and of infinitely more importance than my private comfort1 which1 after all1 ,i do not believe can suffer by parting cheerfully with its apparent food to ,christ1 who himself is the sum and substance of all that any minister can be instrumental in conveying4 ,all means are alike to him1 or no means4 ,i therefore rejoice in his will1 and pray that the ,lord may prosper him1 give him a double portion of his ,spirit1 and favor in the eyes of all whose influence is necessary to advance the ,redeemer's kingdom in ,america4 ,our friend ,mrs4 ,k---- is gone2 she died suddenly3 both ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,t---- died at their country-seat2 he first4 ,she fancied she was getting better4 ,the physician advised her not to ride1 as she could not stand the fatigue2 she had more faith in air and exercise3 the last day she went out she fainted getting into the carriage1 and again coming out2 and died in the afternoon4 ,she lived near us1 yet ,i never saw her1 nor offered one kind office towards the salvation of her soul1 which1 if lost1 leaves me not innocent of her blood1 and if saved1 as ,i hope it may be1 my sinful neglect is not the less4 ,what a picture in them of the vanity of all under the sun2 and in me of the evil of procrastination1 for ,i meant to visit her4 ,o my ,saviour1 is this the return ,i make for the millions of pardons which thou hast passed on my account2 sparing even the rod1 and blessing me with health1 restored limbs1 and mercy on mercy1 comfort on comfort8 ,i want words to paint my abominable ingratitude1 indolence1 and cruelty2 and yet1 ,oh yet ,i am spared1 and my mercies are spared1 as far as ,i know--but trial may be at hand4 ,perhaps ,i write what my children may never read4 ,well1 even then1 mercy1 mercy shall be my song2 for ,i sing the song on earth which they sing in heaven4 ,i am just going to town to attend preparation sermon4 ,our feast is on ,sabbath4 ,,july #ag1 #ahja4 ,what shall ,i render to the ,lord for all his mercies--mercies temporal1 mercies spiritual1 mercies eternal1 multiplied mercies8 ,the one thing that ,i asked of the ,lord has been answered in full1 and ,oh1 how much added4 ,god himself become my salvation1 and the salvation of my house2 how unspeakable the blessing4 ,although chastisement and affliction were the means of correction and sanctification1 or even the vengeance taken on my inventions1 yet1 as a ,god1 he at the same time pardoneth4 ,for ,oh1 my character is ever the same with backsliding ,judah and treacherous ,israel4 ,glory to that name which is ever the same1 and changeth not4 ',the ,lord1 the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 abundant in goodness and truth1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin4' ,this was his name among a stiff-necked people1 an idolatrous1 ungrateful people2 this is his name to me alike in character4 ,o how he has magnified this name to me1 a backslider in heart and life2 multiplying pardons while ,i have multiplied transgressions3 still he has been last with me1 healing my backsliding2 restoring my soul2 leading me to the open fountain2 giving faith to wash1 and joy and peace in believing2 not only so1 but in this land of drought1 this waste howling wilderness1 this vale of tears1 where 'man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards1' my cup with temporal comfort is full and running over2 all his creatures minister to my comfort2 and as days and nights roll on1 his daily providence adds1 and diminishes not4 ,i had hardly hoped to see the faces of my children again2 for he commanded1 and raised the stormy winds and lifted up the waves of the sea2 they mounted to heaven and sunk again to the deep2 death with all its natural horrors surrounded them2 the deep yawned to devour them2 but ,god1 their own ,god1 was at hand1 their anchor of hope1 their ark of safety1 their hiding-place till the calamity was past3 they cried to him1 and he saved them out of their distresses2 he made the storm a calm1 and the waves thereof still1 and brought them to the desired haven4 ,this trouble was not unto death1 but for the glory of ,god and the exercising of your faith1 for the manifestation of his power and goodness1 and the enriching of your experience4 ,o then let us praise the ,lord for his goodness1 and for his wonderful works to the children of men4 ,let us exalt him in the congregation of his people1 and praise him in the assembly of the elders4 ,,october #bc1 #ahja4 ,surely1 surely my heart feels grateful for the time1 though this1 like every other good motion1 will1 like the morning dew1 soon pass away4 ,my children not only preserved through the tempestuous storms that threatened death with circumstances shocking to nature1 but my poor sick child preserved during a long and fatiguing journey2 that journey made comfortable1 yea1 delightful1 by the warm reception of many kind friends1 dear to nature1 and many doubly endeared by grace3 among the last1 the mother and sisters of the kindest and best of husbands2 they receiving her as their own flesh and blood1 as well as their fellow-member in ,christ2 blest with a measure of health to enjoy all1 and a measure of grace to profit by all2 eyeing by faith the dear invisible hand of a covenant ,god1 preserving1 leading1 guiding through every step--his love the marrow of the whole1 and their charter for safety1 even amidst the dangers of prosperity4 ,is not godliness gain8 profitable for this life as well as that which is to come8 ,what is the portion of the worldling8 even in this life 'shadowy joy or solid woe1' without a balance to the first1 or consolation in the last2 no sure footing in the one1 nor support in the other2 distanced from the fountain of happiness by nature1 prosperity incrusts their hearts and increases their carnality2 nestling in their worldly comforts1 they forget they are the creatures of a day1 that an endless eternity lies before them1 and only the feeble uncertain thread of life between them and that curse under which they were born4 ,not so the child of ,god2 all things work together for his good--all things2 his standing is not in himself2 his footsteps are directed by infinite wisdom3 he is kept by the power of ,god1 through faith1 unto salvation4 ,nothing can separate him from the love of ,god4 ,his life is hid with ,christ in ,god3 there is cause to rejoice always2 his privileges are boundless1 infinite1 for ,god himself is become his salvation4 ,have we then any cause for fear8 ,yes1 my children1 yes2 though nothing can rob us of our charter1 there is another side to be beheld4 ,in ,christ we have all things richly to enjoy1 but we have not all in possession3 what we have is by faith2 all is secured by our ,surety for eternity4 ,we shall overcome by the blood of the ,lamb2 but by the constitution of the covenant we must enter into that rest1 that perfect rest1 through great tribulation4 ,while our eternal salvation is secured by our ,surety1 it hath pleased infinite ,wisdom to appoint another connection1 which shall exist while we remain on earth3 even the connection between our steadfastness1 consequently our comfort1 and the means of grace which he hath appointed1 making the first to depend in a great measure on our diligent use of the last1 insomuch that a great number of the promises are proposed conditionally4 ,many exhortations are given in this view1 and also many threatenings4 ',they that wait on the ,lord shall renew their strength1' etc4 ',seek1 and ye shall find2 ask1 and ye shall receive2 knock1 and it shall be opened unto you4' ',abide in me2 as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself1 no more can ye1 except ye abide in me4' ,close1 intimate1 near communion with ,god1 is to be sought by means of prayer1 meditation1 and reading4 ,if the ,christian be careful to husband time1 and set apart a portion for ,god1 and set about these duties1 he will not always miss communion2 and this prepares him for other duties1 and arms him against temptation2 as the promise is concerned to keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on ,him4 ',if ye1 being evil1 know how to give good gifts to your children1 how much more will your heavenly ,father give his ,holy ,spirit to them that ask him4' ',so shall ye know the ,lord1 if ye follow on to-know him4' ',delight thyself in ,god1 he will give thee the desire of thy heart4' ',nevertheless1 ,i will be inquired of by the house of ,israel1' etc4 ',if his children forsake my laws1 and go astray1 ,i will visit their faults1' etc4 ',watch and pray1 that ye enter not into temptation4' ',but thou1 when thou prayest1 enter into thy closet1' etc4 ',thy ,father1 who seeth in secret1 shall reward thee openly4' ,all is laid before us in the ,scriptures1 in the view of comfort during our pilgrimage1 as well as the certainty of our inheritance in the end2 the ground whereon we stand1 our danger1 and the means of safety4 ,see ,eph4 #f3aa4 ,there is provision made in the covenant for great comfort1 consistent with human frailty and imperfection1 but not with carelessness and negligence4 ,while1 therefore1 we rejoice in the ,lord1 we have good reason to join trembling with our exultation2 while standing high in comfort1 to take heed lest we fall1 through the deceitfulness of sin4 ,we carry about with us 'a body of sin and death2' 'the devil1 as a roaring lion1 walketh about1 seeking whom he may devour4' ,we wrestle not with flesh and blood1 but with principalities and powers1' etc4 ,we live in a world lying in wickedness2 the captives of sin and ,satan exerting every faculty to banish all thoughts of ,god1 death1 and eternity2 contriving1 with unwearied industry and amazing ingenuity1 new gratifications for body and mind in endless variety1 suited to all constitutions1 all tempers and dispositions1 and to those in all circumstances4 ,of these1 the most rational are the most subtle1 and1 in the hand of the enemy1 the most calculated to keep men ignorant of themselves1 their misery1 and of the great salvation2 and alas1 by these he often spoils unwary ,christians1 who1 though heirs of heaven1 heirs of ,god1 and joint-heirs with ,christ1 are1 during their minority1 subject to like passions with themselves1 and ever in danger of being spoiled of their comforts when off their guard4 ,with the people of the world ,christians have much to do3 they are fellow-members of society with them2 they have many duties to perform to them1 with them1 and by them2 many of the things of the world are necessary to them1 many of its pleasures lawful2 for 'the earth is the ,lord's and the fulness thereof1' and he gives them of it as his wisdom sees good for them4 ,that which he gives them they gather in the same manner as and in society with the world1 by industry and diligence in their lawful calling and business4 ,keeping near the ,captain of salvation1 and armed in his whole armor1 they are safe4 ,when off their guard1 the vigilant enemy gains some advantage1 and they get into trouble4 ,o how many gracious names our dear ,redeemer has assumed in his word1 for our comfort1 our meditation1 our spiritual exercise2 how pleasant and delightful in the light of his countenance to analyze them6 ,besides the names peculiar to himself as ,god-man1 how many has he condescended to take from among men1 and the natural comforts and safeguards of men--our ,shepherd1 our ,rock1 our ,ark1 all the relations in life--and ends with our ,all in all4 ,but ,i must have done1 that ,i may tell you that goodness and mercy follow us in this family also4 ,july #bh1 #ahja4 ,my dear pastor1 ,mr4 ,m----1 sailed for ,britain4 ,i thank thee1 good and kind ,shepherd of ,israel1 for all those providences1 which seemed small things at the time1 that hedged me into that congregation2 for all the benefits and comforts ,i enjoyed under the ministry of thy aged servant now before thy throne1 and that thou preparedst thy young servant to fill his place when the time of his departure came4 ,i thank thee for all the endowments of our young pastor1 of nature and grace4 ,i thank thee1 that thou hast kept him faithful to ,him who has called him1 and for the precious treasure thou hast put in that earthen vessel4 ,now1 ,lord1 that thou hast called him to leave his family and his flock1 to travel to a foreign land in the service which thou requirest1 go with him1 prosper him1 overrule all his concerns for thy glory1 the good of his soul1 of the church in general1 and his own little flock in particular4 ,amen4 ,glorify thy name ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,journal ,,and ,,letters--,,ladies' ,,school ,,for ,,poor ,,children4 ,,november #bb1 #ahja4 ,,isabella ,,smith1 a grandchild1 is very ill2 she appears to be in a stupor4 ,two physicians are attending1 but my eyes are to the ,lord4 ,she is his own1 given to him by faith1 as a covenant ,god in ,christ for her in particular1 for ourselves and our children4 ,i desire not to draw back1 but1 the ,lord strengthening me1 to give up at his call4 ,if it be his will to spare her1 she is still his own1 to be done by1 with1 and for1 as his infinite wisdom may see fit1 for his own glory and her eternal interest4 ,if he is about to remove her out of the world1 she is his own2 out of the mouth of this babe will he perfect praise2 with that company of whom is the kingdom of heaven1 she shall join in the song of ,moses and the ,lamb1 'to ,him that loved us1 and washed us from our sins in his own blood1 to him be glory1 honor1 dominion1 and power4' ,o ,lord1 one petition ,i prefer--if it be thy will to take her out of the world1 take her in thine arms and carry her through the dark valley2 grant to her a gentle and easy passage1 and an abundant entrance into thy kingdom2 and tune our hearts to sing1 ',the ,lord gave1 and the ,lord hath taken away2 blessed be the name of the ,lord4' ,amen4 ,,november #bc4 ,this day the dear ,isabella joined the church triumphant1 and took her place among that company which ,christ has pronounced blessed4 ,i yesterday asked of the ,lord that he would take her in his arms and carry her through the dark valley1 that he would give her a gentle and easy passage1 and an abundant entrance into his kingdom4 ,he heard my prayer2 it was indeed soft and gentle2 not a struggle1 not a groan2 and the affliction which brought down the frame was moderate throughout4 ,i was enabled to resign the ,lord's own into his own hand1 in the faith that he did receive1 and would keep that which ,i committed to him4 ,my soul is satisfied--more than satisfied2 ,i rejoice1 and congratulate the lovely babe on her early escape from a world of sin and sorrow1 to the arms of her dear ,redeemer1 and to perfect blessedness with him4 ,,november #bd4 ,it is done--finished--the soul with ,god1 the body in the tomb4 ,it is all well2 yes1 our covenant ,god1 thou doest all things well4 ,i firmly believe thy mercy is over all thy works4 ,goodness1 mercy1 yea1 loving-kindness has marked thy every step4 ,i believe it now4 ,i shall see it soon4 ,now1 our ,god1 follow this bereavement with thy purifying1 sanctifying grace4 ,enable us all to search and try our ways4 ,lead our souls into a knowledge of the secret corruptions of our hearts1 that we may confess and mourn over them1 wash in the blood of ,christ1 be pardoned1 restored1 and get a great victory4 ,enable us through life to abide in ,christ2 to keep close to thee1 transacting all our affairs with thee1 before they come into the view of the world4 ,let thy wisdom and thy ,spirit1 in connection with thy providences1 be our counsellors4 ,o keep us in a dependent frame of mind1 humble and watchful4 ,strip us of all self-confidence4 ,may we at the same time be strong in the ,lord and in the power of thy might2 rejoicing in thee1 the ,god of our salvation1 the strength of our heart1 and our portion for ever4 ,glory1 glory1 glory1 to ,father1 ,son1 and blessed ,spirit4 ,amen1 and ,amen4 ,,december1 #ahja4 ,it is my earnest desire to 'grow in grace1 and in the knowledge of our ,lord and ,saviour ,jesus ,christ1' ,it is my desire to love the ,lord my ,god with all my heart1 with all my soul1 with all my strength1 and with all my mind2 and to love my neighbor as myself1 so as to do to ,mm whatever ,i could expect from ,christian principles in him1 on an exchange of circumstances4 ,it is my desire to give all diligence to add to my faith virtue1 to virtue knowledge1 to knowledge temperance1 to temperance patience1 to patience godliness1 to godliness brotherly kindness1 to brotherly kindness charity1 that these things being in me and abounding1 ,i may be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our ,lord and ,saviour ,jesus ,christ4 ,i desire to grow in grace day by day1 to profit by every ordinance of ,god's appointing1 and by every providence2 and ,i pray1 ,lord1 ,i pray that thou wouldst grant me my desire1 so as that ,i may become more spiritual1 more discerning in the ,scriptures1 more fruitful in good works3 that thou mayest increase also my humility4 ,open to my view more of the extent and spirituality of thy divine law2 the majesty1 purity1 holiness1 of thy nature2 the exceeding sinfulness of sin2 the hidden corruptions of my own heart1 and my inability to search them out1 and to crucify them3 give me also more just views of my past life1 that ,i may ever be convinced that ,i am1 what ,i really am1 the very chief of sinners1 and the least of all saints2 and that it is entirely of grace that ,i am what ,i am4 ,o make out this promise to me2 ,i will record it in thine own words3 ',i will establish my covenant with thee3 and thou shalt know that ,i am the ,lord1' ,ezekiel #af3fb4 ,i confess myself the character described in the two foregoing chapters2 and though thou hast chastened me ten thousand times less than my iniquities deserve1 even by the constitution of the new covenant1 thou hast chastened me4 ,now1 ,o ,lord1 most merciful and gracious1 who 'pardonest iniquity1 transgression1 and sin1' for thy name's sake1 do to and for me as thou hast said3 ',i will establish my covenant with thee2 and thou shalt know that ,i am the ,lord4 ,that thou mayest remember1 and be confounded1 and never open thy mouth any more because of thy shame1 when ,i am pacified towards thee for all that thou hast done1 saith the ,lord ,god4' ,amen4 ,to ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,b----1 in ,britain4 ,,december #g1 #ahja4 ,i have received my dear ,j----'s three letters from ,dingwall3 fresh matter of praise to our covenant ,god4 ,you have had your season of affliction2 and now you have a season of refreshing1 a resting-time4 ,the cup of the ,christian is always more or less mixed4 ,your afflictions have ever been mixed with much mercy1 and now your season of rest is also mixed4 ,i well know that no temporal comfort can compensate the absence of your justly beloved ,d----4 ,he1 however1 who is the ,god of both1 who goes with him1 and stays with you1 can not only support1 but comfort4 ,the omniscient1 the omnipresent1 the omnipotent ,god is our ,god1 and the ,god of our house2 all that he is is ours1 to bless us4 ,behold1 ,god is become our salvation4 ,every endearing name known among men he takes to himself1 to inspire us with pleasing1 confiding love--every name that connects the idea of protection1 to keep our minds in quiet peace1 in the assurance of safety3 ,father1 ,husband1 ,brother1 ,friend1 ,prophet1 ,priest1 ,king1 ,physician1 ,help1 ,health1 ,light1 ,life1 ,counsellor1 ,guide1 ,sanctuary1 ,anchor--but ,i should fill my sheet4 ,i said it all at first3 ,god is ours1 and ours with the knowledge of all our backslidings1 which he heals2 our wanderings1 from which he restores us2 and our sins1 which he forgives3 one of his names is the ,god of pardons4 ,he delights in mercy4 ,are we not his witnesses8 ,what has our whole life been1 but sin1 backslidings1 and wanderings8 ,what have his dealings with us been1 but pardons1 healings1 restorations8 ,therefore we remain1 as at this day1 with our desires towards him1 and our faces ,zion-wards4 ,what he hath begun he will perfect1 and in a little while our eyes shall behold him1 our hearts shall enjoy him1 we shall be like him1 and see him as he is4 ,to the same4 ,,december #bf1 #ahja4 ,i rejoice over my dear children1 and bless our gracious ,god that he has led them a sweet and most delightful sojourning among his churches1 animating their spirits by their mutual communion2 blessing them1 and1 ,i hope1 making them blessings4 ,i pray the ,lord may make our dear ,d---- an instrument among others of spreading his gospel1 building up his church1 and pulling down the strong-holds of ,satan2 and that you may be in your place a help-meet for him1 in this as in every thing else4 ,may the ,lord choose his path and direct his steps1 and yours with him4 ,women were helpers of the apostles and others in ,paul's days3 at the same time care must ever be taken not to obtrude in any respect4 ,i pray that you may be kept spiritual and humble3 eminence in ,god's service is truly desirable1 if the heart be kept humble4 ,if the ,lord open the eyes to behold more of the extent and spirituality of his law1 the holiness and purity of his nature1 the evil of sin1 and its contrariety to all that is in ,god2 and if he turn the eyes inward to the hidden corruptions of the heart1 when it is evident to the soul that all is of grace1 then may eminent services be safe4 ',i abhor myself1 and repent in dust and ashes1' was the exercise of ,job2 and justly so4 ,job1 who was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame1 a father to the poor1 and the cause which he knew not he searched it out3 when the ear heard him1 it blessed him2 when the eye saw him1 it gave witness to him2 who withheld not the poor from his desire1 nor caused the eye of the widow to fail2 the stranger did not lodge in the street1 but he opened his door unto the traveller3 all this was true as far as the external act1 and as he then thought1 with a proper temper of heart1 ,job could justify himself before his fellow-sinners1 ,blind like himself2 but when ,god comes to deal with him1 how different his views4 ,then it was1 ',behold1 ,i am vile2 what shall ,i answer thee8 ,i will lay my hand on my mouth3' even with the very best there is cause for this exercise1 could we see in the same light4 ,how deceitful is the human heart2 how unfaithful the conscience2 how little do we know of the sins of our daily walk4 ,we are called to watch and pray1 that we enter not into temptation2 to walk with ,god in close1 intimate communion3 whether we eat or drink1 to do all to his glory3 to consult him in all the affairs of life1 narrowly observing his providence in connection with our circumstances2 weighing all in his presence1 requesting him to determine our wills and direct our steps4 ,we ought not to say1 ',we will go into such a city1' and do this or that2 but1 ',if the ,lord will4' ,how inconsistent our conduct with these rules4 ,how often do rashness1 precipitation1 and self-will accompany our determinations and movements4 ,and how often do ,his goodness and wisdom over rule our folly1 save us from our own pits1 and prevent the evil that might be expected4 ,at no time does he deal with us as we sin1 though sometimes he stands by and allows us a taste of our folly3 then we are in trouble1 we dig our pits and fall into them1 but we cannot deliver ourselves4 ,o what a ,god6 who1 even at such a time1 says to us1 ',call on me in the time of trouble2 ,i will deliver thee1 and thou shalt glorify my name2 thou hast destroyed thyself1 but in me is ,blessed help2 mercy to pardon1 goodness to wisdom to guide1 faithfulness to carry through and perfect what concerns us1 overruling our very follies1 and causing them to teach us to profit4 ,this is ,god's way1 according to many declarations of himself in his word1 and the experience of all his redeemed4 ,blessed then is the man that trusteth in the ,lord2 they truly are a blessed people whose ,god ,jehovah is4 ,,february1 #ahjb4 ,,my ,,dear1 ,,my ,,beloved ,,children--,i trust the ,lord is your support2 ,i know you are in trouble2 it cannot be that opportunities have been wanting all this time1 nor can it be that my children have been negligent3 no1 no1 ,i cannot suppose it4 ,my children are in trouble2 they could not write that they were otherwise1 and therefore remain silent until they can write the issue4 ,it is proper1 and sure the ,lord feeds me with comfort4 ,o the comfort of knowing that the ,almighty ,god is their own reconciled ,father by an everlasting covenant2 ,christ1 the ,mediator and ,surety1 their ,advocate1 ,brother1 and ,friend2 the ,holy ,ghost their ,teacher1 ,guide1 and ,comforter4 ,it cannot be ill with my dear children1 who are also ,god's dear children4 ,my ,father1 ,i know it1 thou chastenest for their profit4 ,i know not where they are1 nor how they fare4 ,i know not what to ask for them2 but thou art everywhere present1 thine eye is upon them1 thou knowest all their wants1 all their burdens1 all their bereavements1 or whatever tries them4 ,o let thy sensible presence be with them2 open wide the leaves of that new testament in ,christ's blood1 and let them read their rich legacy1 their unsearchable riches in ,christ2 give them confidence in thy wisdom and goodness1 and sweet acquiescence in all thy dealings with them4 ,thou hast spared in mercy1 perhaps now thou hast taken in mercy3 yes1 thy tender mercies are over all thy works1 and a large ingredient in every cup thou puttest into the hand of thy children4 ,it is well1 it is well4 ,since writing the above1 ,i have received my dear ,d----'s letter1 second copy1 by the way of ,london4 ,the ,lord is your ,god4 and the ,god of your seed4 ,john the ,baptist leaped in the womb when the salutation of ,mary sounded in his mother's ears2 he was then a living soul1 and an heir of salvation at that moment4 ,if your babe was conceived in sin by the first covenant1 he is an heir of grace by the second4 ,think it not hard2 no1 you do not think it hard that you have conceived him in sickness1 carried him in sickness1 and suffered the pangs of birth without the succeeding joy to make you forget your anguish4 ,all this shall be for the glory of ,god1 and that is what you seek2 believe it now1 you shall see it soon4 ,i do sympathize2 my fond heart had embraced a sweet babe added to the family for one taken4 ,the ,lord has taken this also2 it is his due3 ,i shall soon leave the mortal and join the immortal2 five have joined the head1 six remain2 and one ,i know nothing of1 more than that ,i cast him on the ,lord1 and look for mercy4 ,i thank my ,god that he gave you the grace of resignation1 and supported you in the solitary confinement4 ,alas1 my child1 did you listen for the voice of your babe8 ,o1 what a suspense2 but let me stop--he had reached maturity ere that time2 without the fight1 obtained the victory2 he is of the travail of the ,redeemer's soul2 children are ,god's heritage1 the fruit of the womb his reward4 ,rest then in the ,lord2 this is to his glory1 both without and within your soul4 ,,may #bj1 #ahjb4 ,,my ,,dear ,,children--,here am ,i in my little room1 surrounded with every comfort1 and as the provision of my ,god1 ,i value all2 but there lies the chief1 my ,bible1 the testament of my dying1 risen1 ascended1 reigning ,saviour1 bequeathing to me eternal life1 executed in full1 and made as sure as the promise and oath of ,god4 ,the influences of the ,holy ,ghost on my mind1 taking of the things of ,christ1 and showing them unto me2 opening wide the leaves of that new testament1 in which ,i read unsearchable riches1 and my title to them sure3 yes1 sure1 even to me1 a base idolatrous gentile1 a rebel against the eternal ,king1 my ,creator1 ,preserver1 ,provider2 a backslider in heart and in life4 ,what has such a one to do with a holy ,god8 ,he hath said only return2 and he himself hath turned to me1 chastened1 convinced1 restored1 comforted4 ,his ways are not as our ways1 nor his thoughts as our thoughts2 but as the heavens are above the earth1 so are his ways above our ways1 and his thoughts high above our thoughts1 and his plans above our conception4 ,for although it is for ever true1 that he is of purer eyes than to behold evil1 and cannot look on iniquity2 that his law has denounced a curse upon the transgressor who keepeth it not in every jot and tittle2 it is for ever true1 that this ,god is unchangeable in his nature and purposes4 ,what he hath said1 that will he do4 ,it is for ever true1 that ,i am all ,i have said1 and worse1 a sinner in heart1 tongue1 and practice2 yet am ,i a beloved child1 a justified one1 an heir of ,god4 ,here is the testament1 here is my charter with the seal of ,god upon it--,,jesus1 thou art the ,secret of the ,lord2 thou art the ,lion of the tribe of ,judah1 the root and offspring of ,david4 ,thou hast prevailed to open this book of secrets1 to loose the seven seals1 and lay open its mysteries4 ,thou ,lamb of ,god1 the appointed and anointed to the great work2 in our room1 and in our nature1 thou hast sustained the curse4 ,thou hast obeyed the law2 thou hast drunk the last drop of the last vial of that wrath which would have sunk my soul in the endless depths of misery2 and ,i never could have expended one drop1 but sunk deeper and deeper under it4 ,o not unto me1 not unto ministers1 not unto any creature be the praise4 ,as for me1 ,i am1 in a word1 all that is vile in myself2 ministers1 providences1 afflictions are just what ,god makes them2 without his blessing they will not only pass without profiting1 but ,satan and corruption will make them ministers to themselves4 ,worthy is the ,lamb that was slain1 for he has redeemed me with his blood4 ,worthy is the ,lamb to receive power1 and riches1 and wisdom1 and strength1 and honor1 and glory1 and blessing--to him1 to him alone1 be the praise2 who1 of an heir of hell1 hath made an heir of heaven1 by a substitutional righteousness wrought out in his own person3 mine by free gift1 in which ,i am completely justified4 ,to this work let nothing be added1 with this work let nothing be mixed4 ,there is another work going on by the same ,spirit of truth2 also his purchase and gift--sanctification4 ,in this ,i am called to occupy1 watch1 strive1 fight4 ,life is given2 means of support and growth provided2 weapons of warfare--all things necessary to life and godliness3 these are promised to the diligent use of means2 and poverty1 stagnation1 discomfort threatened to the indolent4 ,o how sovereign and gracious has my ,god been in his dealings with me in this respect also4 ,for a sluggard have ,i been in the days of youth and the prime of life2 yet to me hath he given the comforts promised only to the diligent4 ,here ,i sit on the verge of threescore2 my heart in some good measure loosened from the world1 although in full possession of it4 ,health1 ease1 plenty1 elegance1 friendship1 respectability2 old age welcome1 death unstung become a familiar friend1 the messenger of my ,father to fetch me home to those mansions which my ,redeemer has taken possession of in my name4 ,my hope is strong for my offspring4 ,stately have been his steps of mercy towards them already1 and he saved them from their mother's snares2 he heard and answered my prayers1 for his name's sake1 and overruled my practices2 he is my ,god1 and the ,god of my children2 the ,god of my children's children to the latest generation2 my cup is full of comfort1 temporal and spiritual4 ,o praise him1 praise him1 for he is your ,god1 and the ,god of your offspring also4 ,,june #d1 #ahjb4 ,making allowances for the difference of time1 and supposing my dear children in health1 all about them is in a racket4 ,this is his majesty's birthday2 and you are at this moment1 perhaps1 set in some social company1 by invitation1 to honor the anniversary1 to repeat the wish of long life1 health1 and comfort to the lawful sovereign of ,britain4 ,here sit ,i in my dear little room1 with a lovely landscape in view2 ,b4 ,m----'s park in velvet verdure2 the full-grown trees scattered thin to display the carpet1 and in full foliage2 the clump of willows weeping to the very ground1 with a gentle wave agitated by the zephyr2 while the other trees keep their firm1 majestic posture2 the ,hudson river covered with vessels crowded with sail to catch the scanty breeze2 some sweet little chirpers regaling the ear with their share of pleasure4 ,i think ,i never heard any little warbler in this land sing so sweet as those which now salute my ear4 ,these are thy glorious works1 ,parent of good4' ,can all the philosophic ingenuity of ,london1 this evening1 produce such a scene8 ,the gardens no doubt will be glorious1 but the groundwork is also ,god's2 but why say ,i that in particular8 ,all is his2 the very notes that warble through so many guilty throats are his creation2 all the art of man cannot add to their number4 ,sweet bird1 thy notes are innocent1 ,o how sweet4 ,lovely trees--ye who stand erect1 and ye who weep and wave2 ,i wish no brighter scene4 ,the shadows lengthen fast1 so do yours and mine1 my sovereign299 a few1 a very few anniversaries1 and we must change the scene--change to where no courtiers flatter1 no false meteors blaze--where shadows flee away1 realities appear1 and nothing but realities will stand in any stead4 99,mrs4 ,graham received a pension as a ,british officer's widow until her death4 ,o may we meet2 for me1 ,i nothing have1 ,i nothing am4 ,but ,one there is1 who was and is all that the mind of saint or angel can conceive of glory and of happiness2 and he is mine1 and ,i am most blessed4 ,lengthen on1 ye shadows1 until all is shadow on these orbs of flesh4 ,then1 ,o then1 ',my captive soul set free ,from cloggish earth which oft has made me sigh1 ,ascends the eternal hills1 as seen to see1 ,as known to know1 and grasp the ,deity4' #ahjb4 ,our friend ,b---- has now proved how far it is safe to leave the fate of eternity unsettled4 ,he is gone to the state of the dead3 with whom his soul is gathered1 ,he only knows whose mercy none ought to limit2 he is gone to his own place2 if without a ,surety-righteousness1 which he sought not after in health1 we know where that place is2 but after reading of a thief on the cross1 nothing with ,god is impossible4 ,my mind is much impressed2 that sentence rings in my ears1 so often repeated1 ',i am determined to do all the good ,i can1 and leave the rest to ,god4 ,i have no time to search4' ,oh1 oh1 one thing is needful4 ',life's a folly1 age a dream ,borne along the common stream1 ,earth's a bubble light as air1 ,if my rest be centered there4 ,how can that be solid joy ,which a moment may destroy8' ,mr4 ,b---- was seized with the fever in its most malignant form2 for him every genius was exerted1 and the medical store ransacked for the healing balsam1 but in vain4 ,the ,judge calls for the soul1 and the body must1 at his command1 dislodge its tenant2 how awful1 if no surety was at hand1 if he must stand naked--we know the rest3 did ,i say we know8 ,o no4 ,what can we know of that wrath which in the garden of ,gethsemane1 when no murderous hand was near1 no high-priest1 no council1 or cross1 wrung the blood through every pore of the pure1 the innocent ,lamb of ,god1 supported by ,godhead4 ,if such things were done in the green tree1 what shall be done in the dry8 ,another of her grandchildren was shortly after removed by death2 his illness is noticed in the following meditation3 ,,august1 #ahjb4 ',and that which cometh into your mind shall not be at all1 that ye say1 ,we will be as the heathen1 as the families of the countries1 to serve wood and stone4' ',and ,i will bring you into the wilderness1 and there will ,i plead with you face to face3 like as ,i pleaded with your fathers in the wilderness of the land of ,egypt1 so will ,i plead with you1 saith the ,lord ,god2 and ,i will cause you to pass under the rod1 and ,i will bring you into the bond of the covenant4' ',and ye shall remember your ways1 and all your doings1 wherein ye have been defiled2 and ye shall loathe yourselves in your own sight1 for all your evils that ye have committed3 and ye shall know that ,i am the ,lord1 when ,i have wrought with you for my name's sake1 not according to your wicked ways1 nor according to your corrupt doings1 ,o ye house of ,israel1 saith the ,lord ,god4' ,ezek4 #bj3cb1 #ce1 #cf1 #dc1 #dd4 ,it is good1 yes1 ,lord1 it is all good2 too often have we said1 'we will be as the heathen1 to serve wood and stone4' ,often hast thou chastened1 often have we confessed1 often resolved that we would walk more softly1 more tenderly1 more circumspectly before thee4 ,but1 alas1 when thy hand is removed1 when thou healest us1 and restorest to us health1 comfort1 and our pleasant things1 we wax fat and kick1 nestle in our comfort1 abuse thy gifts1 and lose sight of the giver4 ,alas1 ,lord1 thus it must ever be with us1 when we keep not near to thee2 we cannot walk one step alone without stumbling4 ,thou knowest these naturally wicked hearts1 that they are deceitful above all things2 they betray us before we are aware4 ,blessed1 ever blessed be our ,god for his well-ordered covenant4 ,blessed for the discipline of it4 ,o ,lord1 we are again in the wilderness1 and under thy chastising rod3 for weeks past1 we have 'eaten no pleasant bread2' thy rod is still suspended over our pleasant1 our dear child2 the streams of life ebb1 he sickens1 he dies1 if thou interfere not4 ,but the issues of death are in thy hand1 and our eyes are towards thee4 ,in vain are all means1 all medicines1 if thou impart not the healing virtue4 ,thy weeping servants seek the healing virtue from thy waters1 thy seas1 thy pure air4 ,all nature is in thy hand and ministers thy pleasure2 to some conveying health1 to some disease4 ,an herb to be boiled in simple milk1 as the figs for ,hezekiah's boils1 has been proposed1 ,o let this prove the appointed means1 or direct and point out that which thou wilt bless1 and let our hearts and tongues give the glory to thee4 ,we deserve this bereavement2 but1 ,lord1 what do we not deserve8 ,even according to the constitution of the covenant of grace1 and consistent with thy pardoning1 saving mercy1 and all thy long-suffering1 wert thou to take vengeance on our inventions1 by exercising all thy threatened chastisements1 should we ever be out of the furnace8 ,but even in this view1 thou never hast dealt with us as our iniquities deserved4 ',he will not always chide1 neither will he keep his anger for ever4' ,thou hast1 in thousands of instances1 'cast our sins behind thy back1 into the midst of the sea2 blotted them out1 to remember them no more for ever4 ,thy ways are not as our ways1 nor thy thoughts as our thoughts1' ,we may plead1 ',deal not with us as we sin2 but according to the multitude of thy mercies blot out our transgressions4 ,pardon our iniquity1 for it is great4' ,affliction is appointed1 but it is 'in measure1 when it shooteth forth4' ,o debate with it1 and according to thy promise1 'stay thy rough wind in the day of thine east wind4' ,lord1 say it is enough1 give the blessing1 and by this measure shall iniquity be purged1 and the fruit be to take away sin4 ,all means are alike in thy hand1 and any measure4 ,in holy sovereignty and consummate wisdom thou afflictest1 and in thy hand afflictions yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness3 the hearts of thy people are melted1 and they sing of mercy and of judgment1 and glorify thy name4 ,but1 ,o ,lord1 a look1 such as thou gavest to ,peter1 will melt our hearts and restore our backsliding souls4 ,the announcing of our pardon by the same power1 will make them overflow with love4 ,if thou but call us by name1 as thou didst her who sought thee at thy sepulchre1 with the same power we shall recognize our ,saviour and worship him4 ,o ,lord our ,god1 ever faithful to thy promises1 thou hast said1 ',whatsoever ye ask in my name1 believing that ye receive1 ,i will do it4' ,o ,lord1 ,i ask not the life of this child on this ground4 ,i have through life asked one thing of thee1 and that will ,i seek to obtain while life and breath remain1 and reason and grace2 ,i will seek it1 seek it with importunity1 holding fast by thy promise to do it1 and believing that it shall be according to my petition4 ,make good to me this thy promise1 in a spiritual and eternal sense4 ,be my ,god1 and the ,god of my children1 and of my children's children1 to the latest generation4 ,let my children according to the flesh1 be thine by regeneration of the ,holy ,ghost3 it is a great boon2 but hast thou not said1 ',open thy mouth wide1 ,i will fill it8' ,father1 do as thou hast said3 this is my one petition1 and ,i cannot be said nay4 ,i ask for myself1 my children1 and my children's children1 to the latest generation1 the life which ,christ died to purchase1 and lives to bestow1 that we may be made one with him1 and our life hid with him in ,god4 ,amen1 and ,amen4 ,but1 ,o my ,father1 thou hast said1 ',be careful for nothing2 but in every thing1 by prayer and supplication1 with thanksgiving1 let your requests be made known unto ,god4' ,i ask1 with submission to thy holy will1 if consistent with thy glory1 his good1 and the good of the parents1 the life of this child2 that thou mayest spare him for our comfort1 but first for thine own glory2 that thou mayest give the different branches of this family a joyful meeting1 a full feast of grateful thanks to thee for all thy mercies2 and our hearts may rejoice before thee for the abundance of comfort4 ,shouldst thou1 in thy adorable wisdom1 otherwise determine1 thy blessed and thy holy will be done4 ,wash the soul of this child in the blood of ,jesus1 clothe him with thy righteousness1 sanctify him by thy ,spirit1 and fit him in every respect for thy kingdom4 ,and ,o1 my divine ,redeemer1 ,i renew my petition which thou didst so evidently grant in the case of our dear ,isabella3 take him in thine arms of mercy2 soften and shorten the parting pangs1 and carry him gently through the dark valley1 and give him an abundant entrance into thy heavenly kingdom1 to join the hosannas of thy little children1 of whom thy kingdom is partly made up3 and ,o1 sanctify the affliction to all concerned2 direct our discipline according as thine all-seeing1 heart-searching eye sees we need2 that it may bring forth the peaceable fruits of righteousness1 and 'the fruit of affliction be to take away sin1' and the glory of all redound to thee1 ,father1 ,son1 and blessed ,spirit4 ,amen1 and ,amen4 ,,september1 #ahjb4 ',what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation8' ',o give thanks unto ,god1 for he is good2 his mercy endureth for ever4' ',how precious also are thy thoughts unto me1 ,o ,god2 how great is the sum of them4' ',if ,i should count them1 they are more in number than the sand4 ,when ,i awake ,i am still with thee4' ',the ,lord is gracious and full of compassion1 slow to anger1 and of great mercy4' ',the ,lord is good to all1 and his tender mercies are over all his works4' ',all thy works shall praise thee1 ,o ,lord1 and thy saints shall bless thee4' ',he hath not dealt with us after our sins1 nor rewarded us according to our iniquities4' ',who is a ,god like unto thee1 that pardoneth iniquity1 and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage4 ,he retaineth not his anger for ever1 because he delighteth in mercy4' ',he will turn again1 he will have compassion upon us1 he will subdue our iniquities1 and thou wilt cast all our sins into the depths of the sea4' ',let ,israel hope in the ,lord1 for with the ,lord there is mercy1 and with him is plenteous redemption4' ',and he shall redeem ,israel from all his iniquities4' ',the ,lord hath done great things for us1 whereof we are glad4' ,the ,lord hath turned our captivity1 filled our mouth with laughter and our tongue with singing4 ,thomas1 her grandchild1 is restored to perfect health4 ,thou hast heard our petitions1 and continuest to us all our pleasant things4 ,it is a time of prosperity2 thou givest us the 'upper and the nether springs2' thou blessest my children 'in their basket and in their store2' and while the riches of many are making to themselves wings and flying away--while many are sinking from affluence to poverty1 falling on the right hand and on the left1 by thy most manifest providence thou hast preserved them from the wreck4 ,o teach them to acknowledge thy hand in all this1 and to say and feel1 ',not unto us1 ,o ,lord1 not unto us1 but to thy name be the glory4' ,it is ,god that giveth power to get riches4 ,o1 enable them to honor thee with their substance1 and with the first-fruits of all their increase4 ,in the day of prosperity let them rejoice1 but let this joy be in the ,lord4 ,o let thy gifts ever1 ever lead them to the giver1 and fill their hearts with gratitude1 their mouths with praise2 and let their very actions be worship1 while they acknowledge thee in all their ways1 and thou directest their steps4 ,may they be as 'a city set on a hill1 which cannot be hid1' and their light so shine before men1 that they seeing their good works1 may glorify their ,father in heaven4 ,and now1 ,o ,lord1 we wait for thy blessing in the restoration of our dear ,d---- and ,i4 ,b---- and ,j----4 ',thou hast shown them great and sore adversities1' and thou hast manifested thy power to save4 ,when they passed through the waters thou wast with them1 and through the rivers they did not overflow them4 ,when they walked through the fire they were not burnt1 neither did the flames kindle upon them4 ,for thou art the ,lord their ,god1 the ,holy ,one of ,israel1 their ,saviour4 ,thou didst stay thy rough wind in the day of thine east wind1 and in the multitude of their thoughts within them did thy comforts delight their soul4 ,thou humbledst them under thy mighty hand1 and thou hast in the multitude of thy mercy exalted them in due time4 ,in all their sojourning thou hast been with them2 and in fellowship with thy church greatly hast thou comforted them4 ,thou hast given them favor in the hearts of thy people1 and made 'the stones of the field to be at peace with them4' ,and now1 ,o ,lord1 restore them to their friends and ,christian society1 and to their place which thou hast in thy goodness given and preserved to them4 ,here may they be thy witnesses1 that 'thou art the ,lord1 and besides thee there is no ,saviour4' ,,september1 #ahjb4 ,this day has the ,lord our ,god answered our prayers1 and enriched us beyond the ordinary lot of humanity4 ,d---- and ,i4 ,b---- and ,j---- are restored to their preserved places1 and to the bosom of their family4 ,we are as men who dream2 our mouths are filled with laughter1 our tongues with singing2 the ,lord hath done great things for us1 whereof we are glad4 ,thou hast turned our captivity as the streams in the south4 ,we sowed in tears1 we have reaped in joy4 ,bless the ,lord1 ,o our souls2 ever true and faithful is his word3 ',he that goeth forth and weepeth1 bearing precious seed1 shall doubtless come again with rejoicing1 bringing his sheaves with him4' ',o ,lord1 from thee is our fruit found2' may our sheaves be many and weighty1 thou working all our works in us1 to thine own glory and our blessedness4 ,amen4 #ahjb4 ,dear brother ,pero199 happy brother ,pero1 thy ,jesus1 in whom thou trustedst1 has loosed thy bonds1 has brought thee to that rest which remains for the people of ,god2 thou drinkest of the pure river that maketh glad the city of our ,god2 of that blessed fountain from which issue all the streams which refresh and revive us weary pilgrims4 ,but a little while ago1 and thou wast weary1 dark1 and solitary2 thy flesh fettering and clogging thy spirit2 thy ,god trying thy faith1 hope1 and patience1 which he had previously implanted1 watered1 and made vigorous1 to stand that trial more precious than gold that perisheth1 though it be tried by fire1 and was made manifest to the glory of that ,saviour who leaves not his people in any case4 ,if need be1 they are in heaviness1 through manifold temptations2 but he knows how to deliver them1 having himself been tempted4 99,pero was an elderly man of color whom ,mr4 ,andrew ,smith had purchased1 and made free4 ,pero had previously been a freed man of ,christ4 ,he had been for some time in ill health2 ,mrs4 ,graham kindly attended on him1 and read the ,scriptures to him3 he died by the bursting of a bloodvessel1 at an hour when none of the family were with him4 ,mrs4 ,graham1 in humility of spirit1 reproaches herself in this exercise1 for having been absent from him1 without inquiring into his situation for one hour4 ,thou hadst a taste of his cup3 like him thou didst endure the contradiction of sinners2 like him thou didst experience the desertion of friends1 even thine old mistress1 whom thou lately didst esteem as a sister in ,christ1 and to whom thou didst look for fresh communication from and through that written word1 which she could read and thou couldst not4 ,oh1 how did she prove as a broken reed unto thee2 how did she neglect thy necessity1 and her own opportunity of bringing forth fruit in its season4 ,thou hast been no loser4 ,the ,lord passed by the slothful servant1 the unfaithful steward1 who neglected to give thee thy meat in due season1 and himself took her place2 took thee from that household which was not worthy of thee1 and led thee to those mansions of bliss which himself purchased and prepared2 set thee at that table which shall never be drawn1 where thou shalt feast on all the fulness of ,god1 and drink of those pleasures which are at his right hand for evermore4 ,no need of old mistress now2 no need of any earthly vessel now1 nor of that written word which thou didst so highly prize4 ,the ,word made flesh has removed the veil that shaded the glory of the ,god-man from thine eyes2 flesh and blood could not behold it2 of this he has unclothed thee--left it with us to look upon and mourn our sin4 ,thee he has introduced into the full vision of eternal day1 where thou knowest as thou art known1 and seest as thou art seen4 ,o that full communion enjoyed between a holy soul and the perfection of holiness6 ,o that light of life1 that ocean of love1 that inconceivable blessedness4 ,how hast thou outrun us1 brother ,pero2 how distanced us in a moment4 ,oh1 could ,i not watch with thee one hour8 ,oh that ,i had received thy last blessing1 instead of which1 conscious offence1 deserved rebuke1 painful compunction wring my heart2 and perhaps the rod of correction may be suspended1 and now ready to fall on my guilty head4 ,father1 ,o my ,father1 am ,i not still thy child--still thy adopted8 ,have not ,i an ,advocate with thee1 ,jesus ,christ the righteous1 whom thou hearest always8 does not the blood of ,christ cleanse from all sin8 yes1 ,o yes4 ,this is my universal remedy2 thousands and ten thousands of times have ,i experienced its efficacy4 ,father1 ,i again apply2 blessed ,spirit1 do thine office4 ,wash me1 and ,i shall be clean2 purge me1 and ,i shall be whiter than snow4 ,i confess my sin1 ,i acknowledge mine iniquity4 ,thou didst bring to me an old disciple1 near and dear to his and my ,saviour2 thou didst require me to minister unto him all that he needed2 the honor was great1 the opportunity valuable4 ,thou didst empty thy servant for a time1 thou didst hide his comfort1 that ,i might1 through thy written word1 draw living waters for him1 and give him to drink4 ,o the honor2 ,o the negligence4 ,thou didst send the call for thy disciple to come up to thee2 in thy providence thou didst make it first known to me1 that ,i might be instrumental in conveying to him1 through the same channel1 oil and trimming for his lamp4 ,great was the honor2 dignified the service2 but lost to me for ever4 ,i passed by on the other side4 ,blessed1 blessed ,jesus2 thou good ,samaritan1 who pouredst the oil and wine into his wounds1 and tookest him1 not to an inn1 but to those mansions in the skies which thou1 with thine own blood1 purchasedst for him2 sanctify1 ,o sanctify to me this thy providence2 pardon my neglect4 ,saviour1 wash me in thy blood1 and sanctify and bring good out of even my transgression4 ,by thy grace1 let it be a means of stirring me up to more watchfulness1 that ,i may meet the opportunities afforded me in thy providence1 to occupy till thou come4 ,,december1 #ahjb4 ,the lovely plant which the ,lord had blasted1 which brought down our hearts with grief1 which he had restored and clothed with smiling health and comfort1 again sickened1 declined1 wasted2 every means proved ineffectual2 the ,lord refused the healing virtue4 ,he was brought to town to be near the physicians1 but the ,physician of ,israel aided them not4 ,disease increased2 with pain1 sickness1 convulsion1 much he suffered1 and long2 he had a taste of the bitterness of sin1 but no part of the curse3 that the ,redeemer drank and expended2 and having by his atoning blood purged this little one from his sins1 and perfected all his redeeming work in his soul1 he received him into his own heavenly abodes4 ,it is well1 all well4 ,amen4 ,mrs4 ,graham lived alternately with her children ,mrs4 ,bethune and ,mrs4 ,smith until #ahjc1 when ,mrs4 ,smith removed from ,new ,york4 ,after that time she made her home with ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,bethune until her departure to her heavenly home4 ,they loved her not only from natural affection1 but for her superior worth4 ,they believed that her prayers brought a blessing on the family1 as the ark of ,god did to the house of ,obed-,edom4 ,,march1 #ahjc4 ,i read this day the #cfth chapter of ,ezekiel1 and pleaded ,god's promises from the #bb;d verse to the end1 for myself1 for my children1 and for my children's children2 for the church of ,god throughout the world1 in particular for this country1 for ,britain and ,ireland1 ,france and ,germany1 where his name was once known1 and his gospel flourished4 ,that the ,lord would 'build the waste places and repair the breaches2' that he would 'purify the sons of ,levi1' fill all pulpits with able1 faithful ministers of the new testament1 who shall 'declare the whole counsel of ,god2' and that wherever his name is recorded1 the ,holy ,ghost might fill the place1 and convince the hearts of preachers and hearers1 of sin1 of righteousness1 and of judgment2 might take of the things of ,christ and show unto them2 and that the great ,head of the church might regulate and overrule all these breaches1 differences1 and shakings in his churches4 ,o ,lord1 ,i am ignorant2 ,i know not the mind of the ,spirit of promise as thou knowest it4 ,the promise of the fruit of the tree1 and the increase of the earth1 of the corn1 the wine1 and the oil is thine1 as are all others4 ,i am ignorant how far this refers to spiritual prosperity1 how far to temporal4 ,i ask1 ,o ,lord1 covenant provision1 the fruit of the seed sown in the hearts of men by thine own ,spirit2 and that thou mayest build the ruined cities of thy churches1 and fill them 'with men like a flock1 as the flock of ,jerusalem in her solemn feasts2 so shall the waste cities be filled with flocks of men1 and they shall know that thou art the ,lord4' ,thy fair1 thy rich1 thy beautiful creation is also the fruit of grace4 ,the wicked possess it1 but they enjoy it not4 ,thy people are the heirs1 but thou1 as a wise and merciful ,father1 givest them to possess according as thy wisdom sees safe and good for them4 ,when with the things of this world they imbibe the spirit of the men of the world2 when they nestle in thy gifts and forget the ,giver2 when they enjoy with a carnal spirit1 and not with thankfulness and a due sense of their dependence on thee as the ,god of providence as well as of grace2 thou1 in mercy as in sovereignty1 blastest their pleasant things1 mixest their cup of prosperity with wormwood and gall1 or sweepest all away with a turn of thy hand1 that thou mayest teach them that man doth not live by bread alone1 but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of ,god2 that thou mayest withdraw them from sinful purposes1 and hide pride from them2 that thou mayest open their ears to instruction1 and seal it on their hearts3 thou dashest to pieces their broken cisterns1 that thou mayest lead them back to the fountain of living waters4 ,it is good1 ,o ,lord1 all good2 ,i lay hold upon it3 be thou the provider of me and mine2 feed us with food convenient for us4 ,thine own word testifies that 'every creature of ,god is good1 and nothing is to be refused if it be received with thanksgiving1 for it is sanctified by the word of ,god and prayer4' ,i and the children for whom ,i pray1 possess many1 yea1 and abundance of temporal good things4 ,o ,lord1 give suitable grace1 grace for grace4 ,spirit of grace1 keep us thankful1 humble1 dependent1 spiritual2 enable us to receive all through a covenant channel1 as the provision of our ,father by the way1 through this wilderness4 ,o may all be sanctified by thy word and prayer1 and we be enabled 'to eat and drink to thy glory4' ,amen4 ,read the #achth ,psalm3 ',though the ,lord be high1 yet hath he respect unto the lowly2 though ,i walk in the midst of trouble1 thou wilt revive me4 ,the ,lord will perfect that which concerneth me2 thy mercy1 ,o ,lord1 endureth for ever2 forsake not the works of thine own hands4' ,redeeming work is thy work2 regenerating work is thy work2 sanctifying work is also thine4 ,the first is finished1 the second begun1 to be perfected in the third4 ,o ,lord1 ,i hang on thy promises1 which with ,christ are all mine1 though ,i have not at all times the savor of them2 this is mine infirmity1 and often my sin4 ,o keep me looking unto ,jesus4 ,,march #be1 #ahjc4 ,communion ,sabbath1 ,dr4 ,m---- preached from ,romans #f3ag3 ',but ,god be thanked that ye were'--were in the past time1 not now--'the servants of sin2 but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you4' ,o ,lord1 ,i believe the doctrines of thy gospel2 ,i know that ,i am delivered from sin as a master2 it hath not dominion over my will1 nor entire dominion over my affections2 ,i would be thine1 thy servant1 thy child1 thine in all obedience4 ,i feel this new principle in the desires of my soul4 ,i would do all things to thee1 in act and in principle4 ,but ,o1 ,lord1 the old man is still here1 harassing and hindering my new will1 which ,i have received from thee1 from acting with freedom and energy4 ,unhallowed motives steal in1 by-ends present themselves2 and when outward duty is attained to1 there is more of sin than of righteousness4 ,though entered upon with some measure of purity1 yet before it is finished ,i am at a loss to discern the true principle by which ,i am actuated4 ,lord1 help me2 hast thou not promised to work in me both 'to will and to do of thy good pleasure8' ,is it not the grand end of thy death1 that thou mightest purify to thyself a glorious church1 'not having spot nor wrinkle1 nor any such thing2' and shall not ,i be a partaker8 ,art thou not made of ,god unto thy people1 wisdom1 righteousness1 sanctification1 and redemption8 ,o ,lord1 my heart pants for redemption from indwelling sin4 ,this depravity of my nature1 this opposition1 this evil that is ever present with me when ,i would do good1 this indolence1 this listlessness1 this want of zeal1 or else self-will1 keenness of temper1 impatience1 haste3 ,o ,lord1 there is a host of enemies2 gird me1 arm me1 shield me1 lead me forth under thy banner2 be my victorious ,king4 ',i will go in thy name1 trusting in thy promised strength and grace to help in every time of need4' ,glory be to ,god1 ,father1 ,son1 and blessed ,spirit1 for the grace in which ,i stand4 ,but for grace ,i had been a willing slave to sin to this hour4 ,by that same grace ,i shall one day attain to victory4 ,i cast my burden on the ,lord1 he will sustain until he deliver2 ,i will go up through the wilderness1 trusting in the promises1 and continue fighting in his strength4 ',my soul waits for thy salvation4' ,lord1 enable me to keep 'looking unto ,jesus1 the author and finisher of faith4' ,o give faith in every part of his mediatorial character4 ,may ,i feed upon him and be strong for this sore fight4 ,give courage1 ,o ,lord2 press me forward3 may ,i resolve1 and keep the resolution1 to resist unto blood1 striving against sin4 ,i have been a slothful servant in thy family1 an idle laborer in thy vineyard1 'an unfruitful branch1' a poor dwarfish member in thy body4 ,grant1 ,o grant a little fruit on the topmost bough4 ,o1 at the 'eleventh hour' may ,i begin to work1 to bear some fruit1 to the glory of that grace by which my soul is saved from the wages of sin1 death1 and hell1 and made heir1 by free gift1 of the wages of righteousness1 eternal life1 and glory4 ,i wait for thy salvation4 ,there being no public1 free1 or ,sabbath-schools in the city1 ,mrs4 ,graham used her endeavors to promote such as would at least furnish education to the children of the widows under her care2 and several young ladies offered their services1 which she thus notices3 ,,february1 #ahjd4 ,a new thing is on the wheel in the city of ,new ,york4 ,a society of ladies1 organized for the purpose of relieving widows with small children1 was new in this country4 ,it is now1 by the blessing of ,god1 apparently established4 ,it was entered upon with prayer2 it has been conducted thus far with prayer4 ,the blessing of ,god has rested upon it1 and much good has been done by it4 ,some of us have looked long1 and requested of ,god to open a way by which the children of these widows might be instructed and taught to read his word1 and by his blessing on it1 come to the knowledge of the way of salvation4 ,one means has been attempted of an ordinary kind3 twelve children were last week placed at school with ,mrs4 ,l----1 to be taught to read1 and some more are to be placed with another of our widows1 for the same purpose4 ,but this indeed is new4 ,a society of young ladies1 the first in rank in the city1 in the very bloom of life1 and full of its prospects1 engaged in those pleasures and amusements which tend to engross the mind and shut out every idea unconnected with them1 coming forward and offering--not to contribute towards a school1 but their own personal attendance to instruct the ignorant1 ,o ,lord1 prosper their work4 ,if this be of thee1 it shall prosper1 and be productive of much good2 but if thou bless not1 it will come to nothing but shame4 ,no good can be done but by thee1 for there is none good but ,one2' and what are all thy creatures1 but instruments in thy hand1 by which thou bringest to pass the purposes of thy will8 ,christians1 redeemed1 enlightened1 sanctified1 are no more2 thou workest all their works in them2 they themselves are thy workmanship1 created in ,christ ,jesus unto good works1 which thou hast prepared1 that they should walk in them4 ,worldlings also are thy instruments3 by them thou workest and bringest to pass the counsels of thy will2 thou puttest into their heart the good thing which thou workest1 and girdest them for the purpose3 though not the children of thy covenant1 they are the instruments of thy providence4 ,o ,lord1 take up this matter2 gird these young women to this very purpose1 and prosper them in the art of teaching these orphans of thy providence4 ,and ,oh1 ,lord1 hear my more important petition4 ,i am not worthy to be heard4 ,o ,lord1 ,i am not worthy to be named in connection with any good done by thee4 ,i am the chief of sinners1 the chief of backsliders2 every thing in me1 of me1 or by me1 is vile as far as it is mine4 ,all that is otherwise1 all good implanted in me1 or done by me1 is thine own2 it is grace1 free grace1 the purchase of thine own ,anointed1 my dear ,redeemer1 my dying1 risen1 ascended ,saviour1 and the fruit of the ,holy ,ghost1 the sent of the ,father and of the ,son1 to set up a kingdom of righteousness in the hearts of the redeemed4 ,let me1 as a sinner saved by grace1 to whom thou hast been pleased to give the exceeding great and precious promises--let me1 under the sprinkling of the blood of the covenant1 and in entire dependence on my surety-righteousness--let me draw near and present my petition1 in the name and for the sake of ,him whom thou hearest always4 ,o ,lord ,god ,almighty1 by this very thing1 build up thy ,zion4 ,lay hold of these young creatures1 and while they are in the way of thy providence1 bring them to the house of our master's brethren4 ,o thou great ,teacher1 teach thou teacher and taught4 ,be found of them who seek thee not1 and say with power1 ',behold me1 behold me1' to a people not yet called by thy name1 and out of this small thing in thy providence1 bring revenues of praise to thy name as the ,god of grace4 ,amen4 ,and now1 ,o ,lord1 for myself1 ,i pray for deep humility2 ,i ask1 for ,his sake who was meek and lowly1 to be kept where my place really is1 at the feet of all thy servants2 and if it be thy pleasure to make me a useful instrument1 in proportion make me a humble soul4 ,let me ever remember my ways and be ashamed1 and never open my mouth any more because of my shame1 when thou art pacified towards me for all that ,i have done4 ,o keep me in this contrite frame of mind4 ,in all that to which thou callest me1 give me a willing heart1 and furnish me with every necessary for thy glory4 ,and now prepare me to speak to these young women good and acceptable words4 ,save me from sacrificing truth1 or departing1 in any respect1 from ,christian duty2 give me such wisdom as maybe suited to the occasion3 in all things mine eyes are to the ,lord2 from thee let my fruit be found4 ,,february #ag1 #ahjd4 ,saturday1 the #aath1 twenty-nine young ladies met with ,mrs4 ,hoffman and myself1 at ,mr4 ,o4 ,hoffman's1 ,wall-street1 on purpose to receive instructions respecting the school2 and having paired themselves according to their mind1 ,i delivered what ,i had prepared for them3 they all seemed hearty in their engagement2 and on ,monday1 the #acth inst41 ,miss ,l----t and ,miss ,l----n attended at the school-room and commenced teaching thirteen children2 four have been added since4 ,again1 ,o ,lord1 let me request thy blessing on this institution2 put thy seal upon it1 and mark it for thine own4 ,gird the teachers for their work1 and open the minds of the scholars to instruction4 ,and ,o1 ,lord1 in thine own time1 and by means of thine own devising1 provide spiritual instruction for teachers and taught4 ,is it thy pleasure1 ,lord1 that ,i attend the children on a day appointed for the purpose8 ,wilt thou accept of me as an instrument by which thou wilt do good to the souls of these children2 and wilt thou keep me humble and contrite in my own soul8 ,bless also ,mrs4 ,l----'s school2 there too let thy work appear2 deal with her soul as 'thou dealest with thy chosen2' teach her the way of salvation1 and make her a teacher by thine own ,spirit4 ,if it be my dear ,master's pleasure to use me1 ,i would also attend that school as his instrument4 ',search me1 ,o ,lord1 and know my heart2 try me1 and know my thoughts2 and see if there be any wicked way in me1 and lead me in the way everlasting4' ,mrs4 ,graham's address to the young ladies1 above alluded to1 is given as a specimen of the appropriateness of her addresses on similar occasions1 and as an incentive to kindred exertions in every condition of life4 ,,my ,,dear ,,young ,,ladies--,every thing new becomes matter of speculation and variety of opinion4 ,an association of ladies for the relief of destitute widows and orphans1 was a new thing in this country4 ,it was feeble in its origin1 the jest of most1 the ridicule of many1 and it met the opposition of not a few4 ,the men could not allow our sex the steadiness and perseverance necessary to establish such an undertaking4 ,but ,god put his seal upon it2 and under his fostering care it has prospered beyond the most sanguine expectations of its propagators4 ,its fame is spread over the ,united ,states1 and celebrated in foreign countries4 ,it has been a precedent to many cities1 who have followed the laudable example4 ,this fame is not more brilliant than just4 ,the hungry are fed1 the naked are clothed1 shelter is provided for the outcasts1 medicine and cordials for the sick1 and the soothing voice of sympathy cheers the disconsolate4 ,who are the authors of all these blessings8 ,your mothers1 ladies1 the benevolent members of this so justly famed ,society4 ,but who are these children that idly ramble through the streets1 a prey to growing depravity and vicious example8 hark1 they quarrel1 they swear1 and such no doubt will lie and steal4 ,and that group of dear little creatures1 running about in the most imminent danger1 apparently without protection1 are they under the care of this so justly famed society8 ,they are2 they are fed1 they are clothed1 their mother's fireside is made warm for them2 but no culture is provided for their minds1 nor protection from baneful example4 ,these will in time follow that of the older ones1 and grow up the slaves of idleness and vice1 the certain road to ruin4 ,alas1 alas1 and is there no help--no preventive8 ,yes1 there is4 ,behold the angelic band2 hail1 ye virtuous daughters2 worthy of your virtuous mothers1 come forward and tread in their steps4 ,snatch these little ones from the whirling vortex2 bring them to a place of safety2 teach them to know their ,father1 ,god3 tell them of their ,saviour's love2 lead them through the history of his life2 mark to them the example he set1 the precepts he recorded for their observance1 and the promises for their comfort4 ,and by teaching them to read1 enable them to retrace all your instructions when their eyes see you no more4 ,my dear young ladies1 the sacrifice you have made shall most assuredly meet its reward3 but like your mothers1 you will experience much painful banter1 you will be styled school-madams4 ,let it pass2 suffer it quietly2 when your scheme begins to ripen and the fruits appear1 who shall be able to withhold their praise8 ,only be steadfast1 draw not back and justify the prophecies of many4 ,a great general1 in ancient times1 in search of glory1 landed his troops on the hostile coast1 and then burnt all his ships3 they must conquer1 or die4 ,you have1 ladies1 already embarked in this design2 there is no remaining neuter now2 your name and undertaking are in every mouth2 you must press forward and justify your cause3 and justified it shall be1 if you persevere2 it cannot be otherwise4 ,the benevolence you contemplate is as superior to that already in operation1 as the interest of the soul is to that of the body2 and it is your own--the very scheme originated in a young mind in this company4 ,the society were contemplating mercenary agents1 schools for pay1 and one is already established4 ,but this labor of love2 who could have hoped for it8 ,a society of young ladies1 in rank the first in the city1 in the very bloom of life1 and full of its prospects1 engaged in those pleasures and amusements which generally engross the mind1 and shut out every idea unconnected with self1 coming forward and offering--what8 not their purses1 that were trash2 but their own personal services to instruct the ignorant1 and become the saviors of many of their sex4 ,it is indeed a new thing1 and more strange in this age of dissipation than that institution from which it sprung4 ,may this too become the darling of ,providence4 ,may ,god put his seal upon this also4 ,may he bless and prosper you in this undertaking1 bless you1 and make you a blessing4 ,we next have her wrestling supplications for the revival of ,god's work in the church with which she was connected4 ,,february #ba1 #ahjd4 ,o ,thou1 who art ,alpha and ,omega1 the first and the last1 who holdest the seven stars in thy right hand1 and walkest in the midst of the seven golden candle-sticks1 who livest and was dead1 and art alive for evermore4 ,amen4 ,and hast the keys of hell and of death4 ,out of thy mouth goeth a sharp twoedged sword1 by which thou reachest the hearts of the most hardened4 ,o write with power1 speak with power1 in the heart of the angel of this church4 ,hast thou not in former days had thy dwelling among them8 in days of trouble didst thou not work in them the fruits of labor and patience1 so that for thy name's sake they labored and fainted not8 ,thou blessedst them and gave them peace1 and they rejoiced in the light of thy countenance2 thou multipliedst them also1 so that from a handful they became two bands4 ,alas1 ,lord1 we have1 ,jeshurun-like1 'waxed fat and kicked2' we have left our first love2 we have not watched and prayed1 as thou gavest commandment1 and thou hast left us to enter into temptation2 we have forsaken the counsel of our old men1 and given heed to flatterers2 we have forgotten our dependence on thee1 and said1 ',ashur shall save us1 we will ride upon horses4' ,we have set up our idols in our hearts1 and put the stumbling-block of our iniquity before our eyes2 we have taken counsel1 but not of thee1 and covered ourselves with a covering1 but not of thy ,spirit2 we have gloried in our own wisdom1 and strengthened ourselves in our own strength4 ,we are poor1 and blind1 and miserable1 and naked2 rich in our fancied wisdom1 seeing by our own light1 and compassing ourselves about with our own sparks2 we feed on ashes3 a deceived heart has turned us aside4 ',o ,lord1 the hope of ,israel1 and the ,saviour thereof4' ,it is of the ,lord's mercies that we are not consumed4 ,to us belong shame and confusion of face--,o cover us with it--but to thee belongs mercy4 ,humble us1 ,o ,lord1 and we shall be humbled2 'turn us1 and we shall be turned4' ,it is in our nature to backslide for ever2 thou1 and thou only1 knowest the deceitfulness of the heart2 thou1 and thou only1 canst search it4 ,o search us1 and try us1 and show us what wicked ways there are in us1 and lead us in the way everlasting4 ,deal not with us according to our sins1 but according to the multitude of thine own mercies4 ,we have no other plea2 our sins call for judgment1 and until thou1 thine own blessed self1 turn us1 we are in no situation to receive mercy4 ,work with us for thy name's sake1 establish with us thine own covenant of free1 unmerited1 undeserved mercy4 ,then shall we know that thou art the ,lord4 ,make us thine by thine own covenant1 established in ,christ1 thine own anointed2 the blessed surety1 by thine own appointment2 our substitute1 on whom it hath pleased thee to lay the iniquities of us all2 in whose sacred person thou tookest vengeance for all our sins2 by whom thy law is fulfilled1 magnified1 and made honorable2 whose doing and suffering in our stead is accepted by ,jehovah4 ',the ,lord is well pleased for his righteousness' sake4' ,no covenant short of one fulfilled in every jot and tittle could benefit us4 ,thy covenant is well-ordered in all things1 and it is sure4 ,here1 ,o ,lord1 ,i take my stand2 here ,i lay my foundation1 and on this thy covenant ,i build2 or rather1 here thou thyself hast laid my foundation1 and on this rock hast thou set my soul and built my hopes1 thou subduing my enmity4 ,i acquiesce4 ,i will now 'remember the years of thy hand1' look back to thy dealings with thine own nation1 whom thou didst choose and set apart from all other nations1 though of the same blood with all those that dwell on the face of the whole earth4 ,they1 like us1 destroyed themselves1 but in thee was their help4 ,they also sinned1 committed iniquity1 and did wickedly2 they remembered not thy mercy1 but provoked thee at the ,red sea1 after the great deliverance thou hadst wrought for them1 and the wonders thou madest to pass before them in the land of ,egypt4 ,nevertheless thou savedst them for thy name's sake1 that thou mightest make thy mighty power known2 thou didst repeat thy wonders1 and didst dry up the sea before them4 ,he fed them with corn from heaven2 they did eat angel's food4 ,he clave the rock in the wilderness1 and caused waters to run down like a river4 ,after all1 they forsook the ,god of their mercies2 they believed not his promises1 nor trusted in his salvation2 they lusted1 and they murmured1 and desired to turn back to ,egypt4 ,thou didst chasten them sore for their sin1 and didst bring down their heart with grief4 ,when thou didst slay them1 they sought thee1 and remembered that ,god was their rock1 and the most high ,god their ,redeemer4 ,nevertheless they did flatter with their mouth and lied unto thee with their tongue1 for their heart was not right with thee1 neither were they steadfast in thy covenant4 ,but thou being full of compassion1 forgavest their iniquity and destroyedst them not2 yea1 many a time turnedst thou away thine anger1 and didst not stir up all thy wrath4 ,o how many times did they turn back1 tempted ,god1 and limited the ,holy ,one of ,israel4 ,yet did he fulfil all his promises1 and by wonders in the sea1 wonders in the desert1 wonders in ,zoan's field1 and in the camps of their enemies1 he led them safely to the border of his sanctuary1 to the mountain which his right hand had purchased4 ,he cast out the heathen before them1 and gave them rest in the land of promise4 ,even there they provoked the ,most ,high1 provoked him to jealousy with their graven images4 ,again thou didst chasten them sore1 let loose the corruptions of men upon them1 and suffer them to fall before their enemies4 ,thou deliveredst thy strength into captivity1 and thy glory into the hands of their enemies4 ,yet1 ,o ,lord1 again didst thou deliver them1 and sentest provision for them by thine own covenant4 ,thou didst choose ,david thy servant1 and take him from the sheep-folds4 ,thou broughtest him to feed ,jacob thy people1 and ,israel thine inheritance4 ,so he fed them according to the integrity of his heart1 and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands4 ,such are the people with whom thou hast still to do4 ,such1 ,o ,god of infinite mercy1 such the ,god with whom we sinners have to do1 even 'the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 keeping mercy for thou sands1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin2 and that will by no means clear the guilty4' ,o what could man or angel have done with this last character of thy name8 ,thy covenant makes provision4 ,in ,christ ,jesus1 our blessed substitute1 all is reconciled4 ,thy name is one2 the just ,god1 and the justifier of the ungodly who believe in ,jesus2 ,this ,god is our ,god2 we will make mention of his righteousness1 and his only4 ,by his own covenant1 in his own time1 and by means of his own providing1 he will revive us4 ,amen4 ,,april1 #ahjd ,all my desire is before thee1 and it is all contained in thy well-ordered covenant4 ,many years of vanity1 of idolatry1 of backsliding1 wandering1 and folly have passed over my head since ,i first took hold of thy covenant4 ,how fickle1 false1 and deceitful have ,i proved2 yet thou knowest1 thine own ,spirit through all my wanderings testified in my heart1 that out of the channel of this covenant there could be neither safety nor comfort2 and never1 so far as ,i can remember1 have ,i deliberately chosen to be dealt with by any other4 ,its corrections and chastisements have reached the deepest sensibilities of my heart4 ,thine arrows stuck fast in me1 thy hand pressed me sore2 there was no soundness in my flesh1 neither rest in my bones1 because of my sin2 mine iniquities went over my head1 were a burden too heavy to bear4 ,i was feeble and sore broken1 and roared by reason of the disquiet of my heart4 ,my lovers and friends stood aloof from my sore1 and my kinsmen stood afar off4 ,i was ready to halt1 and my sorrow was continually before me2 yet even in my darkest1 deepest afflictions1 when deep called to deep1 and thy waves and billows were passing over me2 when my soul seemed sinking in the mire where there was no standing1 ,i groped in the dark2 my heart panted1 my strength failed1 and the light of mine eyes seemed gone out4 ,i was weak with my groaning2 in the night ,i made my bed to swim with my tears2 yet even then1 by that same covenant by which ,i was suffering1 light sprang out of darkness1 glimmering hope in the midst of despair4 ,i remembered the years of thy right hand2 in the multitude of my thoughts within me--the provision made in this covenant--thy comforts delighted my soul4 ,i was furnished with a plea which would condemn1 by every covenant but thine3 ,pardon my iniquities1 for they are great4 ,thou1 even thou1 art he who blottest out transgressions as a cloud1 and iniquity as a thick cloud4 ,verily thou art a ,god that pardoneth1 though thou takest vengeance on the inventions of thy rebellious children4 ',vengeance6' not the vengeance of the curse2 no1 that1 ,o thou blessed ,covenant1 thou blessed ,surety1 that fell on thy devoted head4 ,thou by this covenant wast 'made a curse for us4' ,thou didst tread the wine-press alone1 and of the people there was none to help thee4 ,thou didst expend the last drop of that cup of vengeance4 ,every cup put into our hand1 though a cup of trembling1 is a cup of blessing4 ,i this day take a fresh hold of thy covenant1 for myself1 for my children1 and for my children's children1 to the latest generation4 ,for my brother and sister1 for their children1 and children's children2 for the near concerns of our dear ,d4 ,b----2 and for all whom ,i carry on my mind to thy throne of grace4 ,this is the sum and substance of my prayers4 ,bring them into the bond of this covenant1 and deal with them according to the order of it1 and the provision made for them in it1 in all possible circumstances4 ,amen4 ,o ,god1 in the multitude of thy mercies hear me1 in the truth of thy salvation4 ,truth of thy salvation6 thou only knowest the truth of thy salvation4 ,how little do we know of thy work4 ,many of those providences which appear to us dark and dismal1 are wheels turning round 'the truth of thy salvation2' opening our blinded eyes to the issues of sin1 and also delivering from the snares of the devil4 ,deal not1 ,o ,lord1 with me1 and mine1 as our iniquities deserve2 this has never been thy way with us2 but according to thy former loving-kindness1 and to all the long-suffering1 patience1 and pardoning mercy which thy aged servant has experienced through her sinful guilty pilgrimage4 ,thou hast forgiven me all the way from ,egypt4 ,leave me not now1 when ,i am old and grey-headed2 but when strength and heart fail1 be thou the strength of my heart and portion for ever4 ,amen4 ,the winter of #ahjd-e was unusually severe3 the river ,hudson was shut by frost as early as ,november2 fuel was consequently scarce and dear1 and the poor suffered greatly4 ,mrs4 ,graham visited those parts of the city where the poorer class of sufferers dwelt299 in upwards of two hundred families she either found a ,bible their property1 or gave them one2 praying with them in their affliction4 ,she requested a friend to write1 first one religious tract and then another1 suited to the peculiar situation of those afflicted people4 ,one was called1 ,a ,donation to ,poor ,widows with ,small ,children2 the other1 ,a ,second ,visit to ,poor ,widows with ,small ,children4 ,and lest it might be said it was cheap to give advice1 she usually gave a small sum of money along with the tracts she distributed4 ,there was at this time neither a ,bible nor ,tract ,society in ,new ,york4 ,mrs4 ,hoffman accompanied her in many of her excursions4 ,in the course of their visits1 they discovered a ,french family from ,st4 ,domingo in such extremity of distress as made them judge it necessary to report their case to the ,honorable ,dewitt ,clinton1 then mayor of the city4 ,the situation of this family being made public1 three hundred dollars were voluntarily contributed for their relief4 ,roused by this incident1 a public meeting was called at the ,tontine ,coffee-house1 and committees from the different wards were appointed to aid the corporation in ascertaining and supplying the immediate wants of the suffering poor4 ,the zeal of ,mrs4 ,graham and ,mrs4 ,hoffman paved the way for this public-spirited exertion1 which probably was the means of saving the lives of some of the destitute and friendless4 99,the following notice of these scenes appeared in one of the periodical publications of the day3 ,when sorrow shrunk before the piercing wind1 ,and famine1 shelterless1 in suffering pined2 ,when sickness drooped in solitary pain1 ,mid varying misery's relentless reign2 ,oh1 then tumultuous rose the plaints of grief1 ,and loud and strong the clamors for relief6 ,then active charity1 with boundless care1 ,from gloomy faces chased the fiend ,despair1 ,dispelled the horrors of the wintry day1 ,and none that asked went unrelieved away4 ,yet there are some who sorrow's vigils keep1 ,unknown that languish1 undistinguished weep2 ,behold yon ruined building's shattered walls1 ,where drifting snow through many a crevice falls2 ,whose smokeless vent no blazing fuel knows1 ,but drear and cold the widow's mansion shows2 ,her fragile form1 by sickness deeply riven1 ,too weak to face the driving blasts of heaven1 ,her voice too faint to reach some pitying ear1 ,her shivering babes command her anguished tear3 ,their feeble cries in vain assistance crave1 ,and expectation 'points but to the grave4' ,but lo1 with hasty step a female form ,glides through the wind and braves the chilling storm1 ,with eager hand now shakes the tottering door1 ,now rushes breathless o'er the snow-clad floor4 ,her tongue soft comfort to the mourner speaks1 ,her silver voice with soft emotion breaks2 ,round the drear hovel roves her moistened eye1 ,her graceful bosom heaves the lengthened sigh4 ,i know thee now--,i know that angel frame-- ,o that the muse might dare to breathe thy name3 ,nor thine alone1 but all that sister-band ,who scatter gladness o'er a weeping land2 ,who comfort to the infant sufferer bring1 ,and 'teach with joy the widow's heart to sing4' ,for this1 no noisy honors fame shall give1 ,in your own breasts your gentle virtues live2 ,no sounding numbers shall your names reveal1 ,but your own hearts the rich reward shall feel4 ,,albert4 ,in the month of ,august1 #ahje1 ,mrs4 ,graham paid another visit to her friends in ,boston1 of whom she spoke with much affection and esteem4 ,she used to mention1 with peculiar approbation1 a society of pious ladies there1 who met once in every week for prayer and mutual edification4 ,on returning to ,new ,york1 she again wrote to her friend ,mrs4 ,c----1 renewing her endeavors for her consolation and establishment in the faith of ,christ2 and soon after informed her of the dangerous illness of two of her grandchildren1 one of whom1 in the righteous dispensations of an unerring ,providence1 was taken1 and the other left4 ,to ,mrs4 ,c----1 ,boston4 ,,greenwich1 ,n4,y41 ,sept4 #bf1 #ahje4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend--,i arrived here on ,monday4 ,i found my children in health1 but much affected with the death of the amiable youth ,m----1 and the melancholy situation of his bereaved parents4 ,the epidemic spreads over the city in every direction among the few remaining in it4 ,all the public offices are here2 crowds of the citizens1 and houses and stores spring up in a day2 all is bustle and confusion1 and all seem mad on business4 ,parting with my dear friend was most painful1 so painful that nothing could alleviate it but the presence of my own children1 who1 could there have been room from deeper sorrows1 would have shared it with me4 ,o that ,i could put my ,god in my place in your heart4 ,what are earthly friends8 ,how few are steady against all change of circumstances2 of these1 fewer still have it in their power to supply every link of friendship's chain2 a thousand unforeseen incidents disappoint their wishes and frustrate their hopes1 rendering abortive their greatest exertions4 ,but there is a ,friend1 everywhere present1 thoroughly acquainted with every circumstance of the heart and of the life2 all-powerful to relieve2 whose love is invariable1 and ever the most tender when every other friend stands aloof2 a friend in adversity1 'a friend who sticketh closer than a brother1' whose love surpasseth the love of women4 ,this ,friend receiveth sinners--casts out none who come to him4 ,he was never known to disappoint the hopes of any poor sinner4 ,he receives them into his heart2 he takes all their burdens and cares on himself1 pays all their debts1 answers all demands against them1 and is every way surety for them2 they become his own1 no one has any thing to say to them but himself4 ,he knows them--how apt to err1 to wander1 yea1 to forget him1 and prove ungrateful2 all this he knows1 but he has made provision for all4 ,he has a rod1 and he will subdue their iniquities4 ,he will heal their backslidings1 he will bring back and restore his wanderers4 ,he will in due time perfect what concerns them1 and present them to his ,father purified1 without spot or wrinkle4 ,in the meantime he requires them to confide in him2 to go up through this wilderness leaning upon him2 to tell him all their complaints and griefs1 and to comfort themselves3 and he will impress the comfort by means of his great and precious promises1 scattered like so many pearls through his sacred ,bible1 tabled there on purpose for us to ground our prayers upon1 and delight ourselves in4 ,this is your friend's ,friend1 and of ten thousand besides4 ,this was the wicked ,magdalene's ,friend2 this1 the persecuting ,paul's ,friend1 wicked ,manasseh's ,friend2 the adulterous1 murdering ,david's ,friend4 ,and he is your ,friend1 though your eyes are holden that you see him not4 ,he is leading you by a way that you know not4 ,this is one of his characters1 ',i will bring the blind by a way that they know not4' ,i was happy to find your niece was to return with ,mr4 ,c----2 but1 my dear1 a painful dread has assaulted my peace1 lest ,satan get the advantage by means of a stranger in the family1 and undo what has been begun4 ,the world may have peace without ,god2 but you shall not4 ,you have1 however feebly1 taken hold of his covenant1 and he will keep you to your choice4 ',if his children forsake his laws and go astray1' etc4 ,psalm #gi3cj4 ,,november1 #ahje4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend--,this is not our rest2 through much tribulation all ,christ's disciples must follow him4 ,there is a rest prepared for the people of ,god3 as far as tasted in this world--and in this world it is tasted--it consists in a mind resigned to the will of ,god in proportion as it can say1 ',thy will be done on earth1 as it is done in heaven4' ,christ himself was made perfect through suffering1 and all his followers shall be so in their appointed measure4 ,what is our cup to his8 ,o my dear friend1 we are ransomed1 we are redeemed1 and we are fitting and preparing for the purchased inheritance1 that perfect rest prepared for the people of ,god when their warfare is finished4 ,let him do all his pleasure with us here2 let him subdue our iniquities in his own way2 let him glorify his name by our sufferings--his glory is ever connected with his people's best interests4 ,we shall one day acknowledge that he has done all things well1 and that not one word of all that he has promised has failed4 ,it has pleased the ,lord to take from us our dear sweet ,rebecca2 young as she was1 through much tribulation she entered in3 ,i have scarcely seen severer suffering1 nor a harder dismission4 ,it is well2 the ,lord will answer his own ends by it for the good of all concerned1 as well as for his own glory4 ,our dear ,g---- was ill at the same time1 and all hope was lost as to him also2 for a whole week we looked upon him as dying1 ,a bold measure was taken with him1 which succeeded2 the ,lord had commanded life2 it was not thought of for her4 ,god had appointed to her entrance into life eternal4 ,it is all well4 ,blessed1 blessed be his name2 for her he has taken and him he has restored1 both equally4 ,i4,g4 ,s---- was confined at the same time with a broken arm2 ,n4 ,b---- with the fever and pleurisy4 ,deep have been the wounds in this aged heart1 not yet weaned from earth1 but tremblingly alive to every thing that concerns my children4 ,yet ,i do give up4 ,i have asked but one thing with importunity1 and by that ,i abide4 ,i did not ask for temporal life1 but the life which ,christ died to purchase1 and lives to bestow2 let him answer my petition by means of his own appointing3 by health or by sickness1 by riches or by poverty1 by long life or early deaths--only let all mine by the ties of nature1 be his by regeneration of his ,spirit4 ,having felt the trials and the responsibilities of widowhood1 she wrote to her brother's widow1 ,mrs4 ,marshall1 in #ahje3 ,you are now1 my dear sister1 the only head of your family4 ,will you take ,joshua's determination8 ',as for me and my house1 we will serve the ,lord4' ,take hold of ,god's covenant for your orphan children as for yourself1 and consider them as his1 to be brought up for him4 ,be a priestess in your own house1 and keep up the worship of ,god daily in your family1 and confess your ,lord and ,master before angels1 men1 and devils4 ,those who thus honor ,god1 he will honor4 ,you are indeed1 my dear1 arrived at an important stage of your journey through this great wilderness4 ,you are now the head of the family1 and are to ,god immediately answerable4 ,no earthly consideration must make you give up the government of it1 nor the prerogative which he hath given you1 to counsel1 and even beseech your household to serve the ,lord4 ,you cannot give grace2 you cannot give life2 and where there is no life there can be no spiritual exercise3 but you may use means1 although there is much prudence to be observed to avoid disgust4 ,be faithful1 then1 my dear sister1 to your important trust4 ,see that your household remember the ,sabbath-day to keep it holy2 your children1 of course1 will accompany you to the house of ,god1 but let not your servants absent themselves from his ordinances1 and endeavor1 on your return home1 to explain and bring home the word that may have been spoken to their consciences4 ,above all1 let it be your constant aim to set before them a godly1 consistent example1 and be much engaged in prayer for them--,i mean for your servants as well as for your children1 and ,god will1 in all probability1 make you a mother in ,israel1 the mother of many spiritual children1 and turn your captivity into rejoicing1 and fill your mouth with songs of praise2 or should you not have this comfort1 should the night of adversity last to the very valley of the shadow of death1 the morning of eternal rest shall then beam forth upon your own soul1 and your prayers may be answered for others1 when the eyes that wept and the breast that heaved are at rest in the dust4 ,o1 then1 my sister1 possess your soul in patience1 and seek to make daily advances in holiness4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,orphan ,,asylum ,,society--,,foreign ,,missionaries--,,letters4 ,on the #aeth of ,march1 #ahjf1 the female subscribers to proposals for providing an asylum for orphan children met at the ,city ,hotel2 ,mrs4 ,graham was called to the chair1 a society organized1 and a board of direction chosen1 ,mrs4 ,hoffman was elected the first directress of the ,orphan ,asylum ,society4 ,mrs4 ,graham continued in the office of first directress of the ,widows' ,society1 but took a deep interest in the success of the ,orphan ,asylum also2 she1 or one of her family1 taught the orphans daily1 until the funds of the institution were sufficient to provide a teacher and superintendent4 ,she was a trustee at the time of her decease4 ,the wish to establish this new society was occasioned by the pain which it gave the ladies of the ,widows' ,society to behold a family of orphans driven1 on the decease of a widow1 to seek refuge in the almshouse2 no melting heart to feel1 no redeeming hand to rescue them from a situation so unpromising for mental and moral improvement4 ,among the afflicted of our suffering race1 thus speaks the constitution of the society1 none makes a stronger or more impressive appeal to humanity than the destitute orphan4 ,crime has not been the cause of its misery1 and future usefulness may yet be the result of its protection2 the reverse is often the case of more aged objects4 ,god himself has marked the fatherless as the peculiar subjects of his divine compassion4 ',a ,father of the fatherless is ,god in his holy habitation1' ',when my father and my mother forsake me1 then the ,lord will take me up4' ,to be the blessed instrument of1 divine ,providence in making good the promise of ,god1 is a privilege equally desirable and honorable to the benevolent heart4' ,and truly ,god has made good his promise towards this benevolent institution4 ,he has crowned the undertaking with his remarkable blessing4 ,it was begun by his disciples in faith1 and he has acknowledged them in it4 ,having for fourteen months occupied a hired house for an asylum1 the ladies entertained the bold idea of building an asylum on account of the society4 ,they had then about three hundred and fifty dollars as the commencement of a fund for the building2 they purchased four lots of ground in the village of ,greenwich1 on a healthful1 elevated site1 possessing a fine prospect4 ,the corner-stone was laid on the #gth of ,july1 #ahjg4 ,they erected a building fifty feet square2 from time to time they proceeded to finish the interior of the building1 and to purchase additional ground as their funds would permit2 and such was the liberality of the legislature and of the public1 that the society soon possessed a handsome building and nearly an acre of ground1 all of which must have cost them little short of twenty-five thousand dollars4 ,in that house ,mrs4 ,graham and ,mrs4 ,hoffman spent much of their time2 there they trained for eternity the children of those whose widowed dying mothers they had cheered with the hope that when they should be taken away1 ,god would fulfil his gracious promise and preserve their fatherless children alive4 ,mrs4 ,hoffman survived ,mrs4 ,graham seven years4 ,her end1 like that of her friend1 was peace4 ,but though ,god removed those mothers in ,israel1 their prayers are still before him1 and the institution continues to prosper4 ,in #ahcf1 the city having extended to where the asylum was situated1 and the property at the same time increased in value1 the society became desirous to remove where the children would enjoy purer air1 and have greater convenience for a garden and pasture for cows4 ,with the advice of their patrons1 they sold the property for about thirty-nine thousand dollars2 purchased nearly ten acres of ground at ,bloomingdale1 and on the #ith of ,june the same year laid the foundation-stone of their present beautiful building4 ,in the ,thirty-fourth ,annual ,report of the society for #ahdj1 we find the following record of ,god's goodness3 ,on no former occasion has the board of direction been privileged to make to the friends and patrons of this institution a more favorable report than the present4 ,the orphan's home is completed1 and the beautiful building on the banks of the ,hudson is alike an ornament to the city and a memorial of the liberality of its inhabitants4 ,within it are found1 not only ample accommodations for a numerous family1 but a place for the ,lord1 a habitation for the orphans' ,god4 ,on the #aith of ,november last the chapel was opened for religious worship2 the services were performed by reverend clergy of different denominations2 and a highly respectable and apparently gratified audience attended4 ,all the children1 one hundred and sixty-five in number1 were present1 from the infant in arms to the youth who will this day pronounce the valedictory4 ,to those who have witnessed the progress of this institution from the small frame-house of #ahjf to the noble edifice of #ahdj1 accompanied by the recollection that the door has never been closed against the destitute orphan1 how deep must be the conviction of an overruling ,providence--the truth of the declaration1 that ,god is the father of the fatherless in his holy habitation1 and the fulfilment of his gracious promise1 ',leave thy fatherless children1 ,i will preserve them alive4' ,nor is the orphan family merely furnished with sufficient accommodation for dwelling and moral and religious education3 the grounds afford ample room for exercise and recreation2 the garden supplies them with fruit and vegetables2 and there being pasture for several cows1 wholesome milk is added to their simple breakfast1 while the abounding river invigorates the frame by a saline bath1 and by casting a net into it1 furnishes an occasional dinner of fresh fish4 ,the society1 ever grateful to the founders1 have erected a tablet on the wall of the beautiful chapel1 which bears the following inscription3 ,,sacred ,,to ,,the ,,memory ,,of ,,isabella ,,graham1 ,,who ,,died #bg,,th ,,july1 #ahad2 ,,and ,,of ,,mrs4 ,,sarah ,,hoffman1 ,,who ,,died #bi,,th ,,july1 #ahba4 ,,they ,,were ,,both ,,founders ,,of ,,this ,,institution4 ,,to ,,their ,,prayer ,,of ,,faith1 ,,and ,,wisdom ,,in ,,directing ,,its ,,counsels1 ,,the ,,society ,,is ,,indebted ,,for ,,much ,,of ,,the ,,success ,,that ,,has ,,attended ,,it4 ,,they ,,were ,,lovely ,,in ,,their ,,lives1 ,,and ,,during ,,many ,,years ,,they ,,travelled ,,together ,,the ,,walks ,,of ,,charity4 ,,when ,,the ,,ear ,,heard ,,them ,,it ,,blessed ,,them1 ,,and ,,they ,,caused ,,the ,,widow',s ,,heart ,,to ,,sing ,,for ,,joy4 ,,they ,,now ,,rest ,,from ,,their ,,labors1 ,,partakers ,,of ,,the ,,blessedness ,,of ,,those ,,who ,,die ,,in ,,the ,,lord3 ,,their ,,works ,,do ,,follow ,,them4 ,the success which has attended the ,orphan ,asylum ,society1 furnishes strong encouragement to attempt great and good objects even with slender means4 ,god in his providence will command a blessing on exertions of this character4 ,it is too common a mistake1 and one fatal to the progress of improvement1 that great means should be in actual possession before great objects should be attempted4 ,ah1 were our dependence simply on apparent instruments1 how small must be our hopes of success4 ,there is a mystery1 yet a certainty1 in the manner by which ,god is pleased in his providence to conduct feeble means to a happy conclusion4 ,has he not preserved1 cherished1 and blessed his church through many ages1 amidst overwhelming persecutions1 and that often by means apparently inadequate to this end8 ,we must work for1 as well as pray for the blessing which ,god has promised to bestow on our sinful race4 ,we must put our shoulder to the wheel1 while we look up to heaven for assistance1 and ,god will bless those who are found in the path of duty4 ,in this asylum1 the ladies have set no limits to the number to be received2 and it has pleased ,god also not to set limits to the means necessary for their support4 ,the institution is a great favorite with the public1 and is frequently visited by strangers1 who are delighted with the cleanliness1 health1 and cheerful countenances of the orphans4 ,the ,society have received a charter of incorporation from the legislature2 they have a handsome seal1 with this inscription3 ,inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these1 ye have done it unto me4 ,for several years it was customary with ,mrs4 ,graham to visit the ,new ,york hospital2 and before the admirable provision since made for the separate care of those mentally deranged1 she paid a particular attention to patients of this description4 ,to the apartments appropriated to sick female convicts in the state prison1 she also made many visits2 she met with some affecting circumstances among this class4 ,in the winter of #ahjg-h1 when the suspension of commerce by the embargo rendered the situation of the poor more destitute than ever1 ,mrs4 ,graham adopted a plan best calculated in her view to detect the idle applicant for charity1 and at the same time to furnish employment for the more worthy among the female poor4 ,she purchased flax1 and lent wheels where applicants had none4 ,such as were industrious1 took the work with thankfulness and were paid for it2 those who were beggars by profession never kept their word by returning for the flax or the wheel4 ,the flax thus spun was afterwards wove1 bleached1 and made into table-cloths and towels for family use4 ,mrs4 ,graham used to remark1 that until some institution should be formed to furnish employment for industrious poor women1 the work of charity would be incomplete4 ,it was about this time that1 deeming the duties too laborious for her health1 she resigned the office of first directress of the ,widows' ,society1 and took the place of a manager4 ,she afterwards declined this also1 and became a trustee of the ,orphan ,asylum ,society1 as more suited to her advanced period of life4 ,the lady to whom the following letter was addressed was ,miss ,,farquharson1 a person of genuine piety and worth1 whom ,mrs4 ,graham had educated and prepared to become her assistant in teaching4 ,when ,mrs4 ,graham retired from her school1 ,miss ,farquharson declined to succeed her1 preferring to accompany and enjoy the society of her patroness and friend4 ,until #ahjd she proved as efficient an assistant to ,mrs4 ,graham in her charitable labors in the ,widows' ,society and ,sabbath-school1 as she had been in her boarding-school4 ,during the prevalence of the yellow-fever in #ahjd1 she was called to attend her own dying mother1 and underwent so much fatigue1 that on her return to ,mrs4 ,graham she broke a bloodvessel1 and for four months was confined to her room1 during all which time ,mrs4 ,graham attended her night and day4 ,her medical attendants prescribed a long voyage and residence in a hot climate as the only means of saving her life4 ,about that time ,mr4 ,andrew ,smith was preparing to sail for the ,east ,indies with his family1 by the way of ,england4 ,with them she embarked4 ,she sojourned several weeks in ,birmingham1 and there the circumstances commenced which eventually led ,miss ,farquharson to become a missionary's wife1 and the first ,american missionary to foreign lands4 ,her history has been published by ,rev4 ,mr4 ,knill1 in a tract entitled1 ,the ,missionary's ,wife4 ,the ,london ,missionary ,society were preparing to establish a mission in the idolatrous city of ,surat1 but the ,east ,india ,company would not allow ,christian missionaries to sail in their ships4 ,the ,society thankfully availed themselves of the privilege of sending ,mr4 ,loveless and ,dr4 ,taylor in the ,american ship ,alleghany4 ,they arrived in ,madras1 ,june1 #ahje4 ,during the voyage an attachment was formed between ,mr4 ,loveless and ,miss ,farquharson which death only could sever1 and introduced her to scenes of usefulness for more than thirty years1 for which she was eminently qualified by early training4 ,as soon as ,mrs4 ,graham heard how her friend was going to be employed1 she wrote to her as follows3 ,,my ,,dear ,,sally--,many tears have ,i shed over your letter4 ,what a changing lot has been that of my family6 ,the ,lord's providences to me and mine have not been of the ordinary kind1 and you1 as one in it1 seem to be a partaker with us4 ,surely1 of all others1 we have most reason to say1 ,we are strangers and pilgrims on the earth4 ,oh that we may drink into the true spirit of that phrase1 and enjoy the genuine1 firm faith of an everlasting habitation1 of living at home with ,god4 ,my dear ,sally1 take the comfort of this1 that it is the ,lord who hath led you all the way by which you have gone4 ,of all persons whom ,i know1 you were1 from your temper and disposition1 the least likely to travel1 still less to continue a traveller4 ,no ordinary means would have led you to leave your friends and religious privileges4 ,and many a pang it has cost me1 on reflection1 to think how positive ,i was that you should take the voyage4 ,but it was of the ,lord4 ,the physicians urged it as the only chance you had for life1 and they had reason2 for of all those who were attacked in the same manner1 there is not one alive1 within my knowledge1 at this day4 ,the ,lord1 by wonderful means1 called you from your native land1 and led you to the very spot where you met ,mr4 ,loveless4 ,the same ,god1 being also his ,god1 led him1 by means perhaps equally unforeseen and uncommon1 to the same spot1 united your hearts to each other1 and made you one in his hand1 and ,i trust to his glory4 ,you ask my blessing3 ,i have carried both of you to my ,god and ,saviour1 and have prayed1 and continue to pray1 that the ,lord will bless you individually and unitedly1 give you much sweet communion with himself1 and much social enjoyment with him and with one another4 ,may he bless ,mr4 ,loveless as a missionary1 and give him the spirit of his office1 and much fruit among the heathen1 as seals to his ministry2 and may you be a helper with him1 and both be blessed and made a blessing4 ,i feel my loss4 ,you were a comfort and a help to us all1 especially to me3 but ,i do not mourn2 ,i heartily acquiesce4 ,this is not only agreeable to me1 as it is one of ,god's wise arrangements to you and us all1 but ,i think it will be more to your comfort4 ,religion and conjugal love will sweeten almost any lot4 ,it is the ,lord's appointment and his richest earthly blessing4 ,my dear ,sally1 ,i have ever considered you as my child4 ,you are very dear to my heart4 ,tell ,mr4 ,loveless he must ever consider me as his mother4 ,your affectionate mother1 ,,isabella ,,graham4 ,in the month of ,january1 #ahjg1 the ,london ,missionary ,society1 of which ,mr4 ,bethune was a foreign director1 sent to this country the ,rev4 ,messrs4 ,gordon1 ,lee1 and ,morrison2 the two first to sail in an ,american ship for the ,east ,indies1 and ,mr4 ,morrison for ,china4 ,these devoted missionaries shared largely in the hospitalities of ,christians in ,new ,york1 and spent much of their time with ,mr4 ,bethune's family4 ,mrs4 ,graham took great delight in conversing and advising with them1 and though none of her letters addressed to them have come to hand1 it is believed she corresponded with them4 ,the following extract of a letter from ,dr4 ,morrison1 indicates the respect and ,christian affection with which he regarded her4 ,,on ,,board ,,the ,,trident1 ,may #bd1 #ahjg4 ,,my ,,ever ,,dear ,,mother ,,graham--,i think you were led by the special interference of our gracious ,lord1 to put into my hands the work which you did1 accompanied by the edifying and comforting letter which you wrote me4 ,i thank you for telling me what ,god did for your soul1 and join with you in ascribing to the ,lord salvation and honor4 ,i had1 my mother1 from the time of leaving my dear relations and friends1 passed through waters deep as the fathomless ocean which ,i crossed2 but with the ,lord there is mercy2 with him is 'plenteous redemption4' ,he is ready to forgive4 ,he has restored to me1 in some measure1 'the joy of his salvation1' and will not1 ,i trust1 take his ,holy ,spirit from me4 ,this is my prayer4 ,to-day he enabled me1 on board of this vessel1 to open my lips to teach transgressors his way4 ,o1 that sinners may be converted unto him4 ,to ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,b----1 at ,ballston ,springs4 ,,new ,,york1 ,august1 #ahjg4 ,,my ,,beloved ,,children--,a husband1 wife1 and child1 make a family1 and ,god ought to be acknowledged by them as such4 ,i am anxious that you should meet in your room for that purpose some time every morning4 ,if it cannot be accomplished at an early hour1 redeem that time in a later1 and also before going to rest in the evening4 ,the ,lord has honored your family worship with genuine fruits1 follow it up in all places4 ,like ,abraham of old1 wherever you pitch your tent1 for a longer or shorter period1 there raise an altar to the ,lord1 to that ,god who has fed you all your life1 carried you as on eagle's wings1 and will carry you to old age and gray hairs4 ,to ,mrs4 ,juliet ,s----1 ,new ,york1 one of her former pupils4 ,,belleville1 ,september #af1 #ahjh4 ,,my ,,dear ,,juliet--,since the hour ,i received your letter1 you have been little out of my mind4 ,you call upon me as mother1 friend1 counsellor4 ,shall conscious unworthiness1 or weakness1 or ignorance1 prevent my answering8 ,no2 for ,god often chooses weak instruments to bring to pass great ends1 ,i have been once and again to a throne of grace1 for wisdom to direct me1 and grace to be faithful4 ,if your desire after spiritual knowledge be sincere1 and from the ,spirit of ,god operating on your heart1 you will bear searching4 ,you are a communicant1 my ,juliet2 this presupposes that a very great and important change has taken place in your mind--that you have been made deeply sensible of what the word of ,god testifies of every son and daughter of ,adam's race4 ',as it is written1 ,there is none righteous1 no1 not one4' ,rom4 #c3aj4 ,man is born as the wild ass's colt1 going astray from the womb4 ,job4 ,the heart is deceitful above all things1 and desperately wicked2 ,i the ,lord search it4 ,having the understanding darkened1 alienated from the life of ,god1 through the ignorance that is in us1 because of the blindness of our hearts4 ,dead in trespasses and sins4 ,eph4 #d3ah2 #b3a4 ,your profession presupposes that this chapter may be addressed to you1 ,juliet1 by name3 ',you hath he quickened1 who were dead in trespasses and sins2 wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world1 according to the prince of the power of the air1 the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience3 among whom also we all had our conversation in times past1 in the lusts of our flesh1 fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind2 and were by nature the children of wrath1 even as others4 ,but ,god1 who is rich in mercy1 for his great love wherewith he loved us1 even when we were dead in sins1 hath quickened us together with ,christ2 by grace are ye saved1 through faith1 not of works1 lest any man should boast4' ,works there are1 my ,juliet1 most assuredly2 every quickened soul will live1 and bring forth fruits of righteousness2 but these works are not attainable but in ,god's way and order4 ,it follows1 ',for we are his workmanship1 created in ,christ ,jesus unto good works1 which ,god hath before ordained that we should walk in them4' ,my ,juliet says1 ',to you then ,i look up to teach me4' ,let me then bring you to the great ,teacher and ,prophet of the church1 without whose teaching all human instruction will be ineffectual4 ,we read of two amiable characters coming to ,christ professedly for instruction4 ,the first you will find in ,matthew #ai3af4 ,the young man asks him1 ',what good thing shall ,i do1 that ,i may inherit eternal life8' ,jesus answers him by referring him to the moral law3 the young man1 not made acquainted by the ,spirit of ,god1 either with the extent or spirituality of that law1 or of the depravity of his own nature1 answers1 as many in like circumstances still do1' ,all these things have ,i kept from my youth up4' ,i do not suppose any one could contradict him4 ,it is added that ,jesus loved him1 and he was a person of attractive character2 but ,jesus knew that the true principle was not there--supreme love to ,god1 'with all the heart1 with all the soul1 with all the strength1 and with all the mind3' therefore he gave him a test which proved that the world was uppermost in his heart4 ,he went away sorrowful1 and we hear no more of him4 ,of the other person we read in that remarkable chapter1 the third of ,john's gospel--,nicodemus1 a ruler of the ,jews1 and also a teacher4 ,well knew he the law1 as to the letter of it1 both moral and ceremonial2 he must also have been acquainted with all the ,old ,testament scripture types and prophecies1 it being his office to expound2 and no doubt1 among others1 was looking for the promised ,messiah4 ,jesus does not send him to either the law or the prophets4 ,this ruler comes with a conviction and an acknowledgment that ,jesus himself was a teacher immediately from ,god2 and ,jesus immediately takes upon himself his great office1 and begins with urging that which is a sinner's first business--'to know himself1' what he is by nature1 and the necessity of the new birth4 ,nicodemus1 with all his learning1 was a stranger to this doctrine3 ',how can a man be born when he is old8' ,jesus repeats his doctrine1 ',he must be born of water and the ,spirit2' baptized with water and the ,holy ,ghost4 ',that which is born of the flesh is flesh1 and that which is born of the ,spirit is spirit4 ,marvel not that ,i said unto you1 ,ye must be born again4' ,humble that proud reason that will believe nothing but what it can understand4 ',the wind bloweth where it listeth1 and thou hearest the sound thereof1 but canst not tell whence it cometh or whither it goeth2 so is every one that is born of the ,spirit4' ,a mystery it is2 nevertheless it is true4 ,follow out the chapter1 my dear3 ,jesus preaches his own gospel1 and brings in that beautiful type1 the serpent1 which he had commanded to be raised on a pole1 that those who had been bitten with fiery serpents1 whose bite was death1 should look upon it and be healed4 ,read it1 my dear1 in the #bast of ,numbers2 and in reference to this1 he himself says1 ',look unto me1 and be ye saved1 all the ends of the earth4' ,except a man be born again1 he cannot see the kingdom of ,god4 ,quickened1 renewed in the spirit1 of his mind1 old things pass away and all things become new--new principles1 new desires1 new pleasures1 new ends4 ,the work is ,god's4 ,the whole plan of redemption is his from first to last4 ,it is clearly revealed in ,scripture1 and there is no dispute among ,christians concerning it4 ,the fall of man1 his corruption and depravity2 his state under the curse of a broken covenant1 and his exposure to eternal misery2 his helplessness and total inability to gain acceptance with ,god2 his ignorance of himself--'dead in trespasses and sins1' 'without ,god and without hope in the world3' this is his situation by nature4 ,but there is good news proclaimed3 ',god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten ,son1' to become the surety of lost sinners4 ,he took our nature upon him1 our sins upon him1 our duties upon him3 he was placed in our stead2 sustained the penalty of the broken law2 fulfilled its utmost demands2 redeemed us2 gave us a new covenant1 of which himself is the surety3 and there is 'no condemnation to them that are in ,christ ,jesus4' ,the merits of ,christ1 exclusive of any thing of ours1 are the sole foundation of our hope4 ,christ is set forth1 in ,scripture1 as the atonement1 the propitiation for sins1 the one sacrifice for sin2 ,christ is the end of the law for righteousness2 all is made ours by free gift4 #a ,john1 #e3aa4 ,all is ready1 justice satisfied1 ,god reconciled1 peace proclaimed4 ,but what is all this to a thoughtless world1 insensible of their situation1 danger1 and need8 ,it is an awful saying1 but it is of the ,holy ,ghost1 ,if our gospel be hid1 it is hid to them that are lost1 in whom the god of this world hath blinded their minds1 and darkened their understandings1 and hardened their hearts1 etc4 ,therefore the application of this grace is also of ,god2 it is all within his plan2 he has appointed means1 and commanded our diligence in the use of them4 ,we have his ,bible in our hands1 his ministers in our churches1 who are also pastors and teachers if we apply for their aid in private2 we have a throne of grace to go to1 and many great and precious promises held up in ,god's word for us to embrace and plead for ,christ's sake3 we have many prayers in the ,scriptures which we may adopt4 ,i acknowledge we are all still dependent for the effect2 that must be from ,god himself4 ,but he does honor his own ordinances4 ,he puts forth his power1 and convinces of sin2 this is his first work4 ,the soul is awakened1 aroused1 convinced of sin and misery2 sins of the heart1 sins of the tongue1 sins of the life1 press upon the conscience which never disturbed us before2 misspent time1 wasted talents1 lost opportunities1 neglect of ,god's word and ordinances1 so that the soul cannot rest4 ,o1 my ,juliet1 this is a hopeful case4 ,i hope you have experienced something of this4 ,it is one of the surest marks of the operation of the ,spirit of ,god1 and a prelude to the new birth4 ,it never takes place without it1 for the whole need not a physician1 but they that are sick4 ,only the weary and heavy laden will prize rest1 and ,christ is the rest they need2 only a convinced sinner will or can prize the ,saviour1 and now the ,lord opens his mind to understand the ,scriptures4 ,he sees the provision which ,god has made for ruined sinners1 by providing a substitute to stand in his room2 he perceives how ,god can be just and justify the sinner who takes shelter in ,jesus2 he falls in with ,god's gracious plan3 receives the ,lord ,jesus as ,god's gift to sinners2 trusts entirely in his merits for pardon1 peace1 reconciliation1 and eternal life2 resigns his soul into the hands of his ,saviour1 in the faith that he will save it1 and devotes himself unreservedly to his service1 in the faith that he will give him grace to live to him in all holy obedience4 ,now1 and not till now1 according to ,god's promise1 he receives power to become his child2 this is ,god's order1 ,john #a3ab4 ,now he receives life and begins to live2 but there is yet a great work before him4 ,it hath pleased ,god in his plan to finish at once a justifying righteousness2 it is his own work1 and was finished in that awful hour when he announced it in his last words on the cross4 ,john #ai3cj4 ,to this nothing of ours is to be added1 with this nothing of ours mixed2 it is for ever perfect1 it is ,god's gift made ours in the hour when we first believe1 receive it1 rest our souls upon it4 ,but it hath not pleased ,god in this plan to deliver the believer at once from indwelling sin4 ,this is the subject of the ,christian warfare1 the race1 the good fight4 ,now the believer receives life1 and is called to work4 ',work out your own salvation with fear and trembling1 for it is ,god that worketh in you both to will and to do4' ,all the promises in this blessed ,bible are his1 they are yea and amen in ,christ2 ,christ himself is his2 his ,spirit dwells in him4 ,the believer is united to ,jesus by as real a union as the branch to the vine1 the members to the head1 the building with the foundation4 ,yet sin dwelleth in him1 and is to be expunged by constant applications to ,christ in prayer2 by means of watching1 striving1 fighting--fighting under his banner4 ,in his blessed word we are informed where our strength lies1 what our weapons1 what our armor4 ,but what can ,i say on those subjects8 the whole word of ,god is on the subject of redemption2 to this refer the whole labors of ,christ's ministers1 and the whole dispensation of ,god's providence4 ,are these things so8 ,my ,juliet1 this is not the doctrine of any one church4 ,about these subjects there is no dispute4 ,presbyterians1 ,episcopalians1 ,baptists1 ,independents1 all agree in these great things4 ,and are these things so indeed8 ,o1 my ,juliet1 where is the time to be spared for plays1 assemblies1 and such numerous idle parties of various descriptions8 ,i must stop2 the subject is great1 and we have many excellent treatises on the various parts of it1 by able1 pious men4 ,it would be improper to crowd it thus into a letter1 unless to instigate to further investigation4 ,farewell2 ,i ever am1 my dear ,juliet1 ,yours affectionately1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,the delicate state of health to which one of her granddaughters was reduced in #ahjh1 made it necessary for her to spend the summer season for five successive years at ,rockaway1 ,long ,island1 for the advantage of sea-bathing4 ,mrs4 ,graham went with her1 it being beneficial to her own health also4 ,in this place she met with many strangers2 the company residing there treated her with much affection and respect4 ,she always attended to the worship of ,god morning and evening in her room1 and was usually accompanied by some of the ladies who boarded in the house4 ,her fund of information1 vivacity of manner1 and the interest which she felt in the happiness of all around her1 made her society highly valued and pleasing4 ,few of those ladies who stayed with her at ,rockaway for any length of time1 failed to express1 at parting1 their esteem for her1 and they generally added a pressing invitation for a visit from her1 if ever she should travel near where they dwelt4 ,the following is one of her sweet meditations while at ,rockaway3 ,,rockaway1 ,august1 #ahji4 ,sweet health again returns1 which1 considering the agitation of my mind1 surprises me2 but it is the ,lord's pleasure4 ,i did not wish to recover4 ,i was in hopes the ,lord was about to deliver me from 'this body of sin and death4' ,lord1 reconcile me to thy most holy will4 ,health is certainly a great blessing4 ,i feel its sweetness4 ,o make me thankful4 ,great and numerous are my mercies4 ,every thing pleasant and every thing necessary to life1 to godliness1 is mine3 food and raiment to the utmost desires of nature2 the beauties of thy fair creation surround my ordinary dwelling2 my dear little room1 my ,bible1 and books of every virtuous kind--by grace1 thy chief mercy1 ,i desire no other--and by the kindness of my children1 ,i possess all as if they were my own personal property4 ,by thy wonderful loving-kindness1 thou hast given me1 instead of the contempt which ,i have merited1 the love and esteem of thy people1 and thou hast made the very stones of the field to be at peace with me1 so that wherever ,i go ,i meet with kindness4 ,to ,mrs4 ,marshall4 ,,new ,,york1 ,october1 #ahji4 ,i find your letter dated ',elderslie'--the very name gives a thrill to my old heart2 in a moment the various scenes of my youthful days rise before me--the old mansion itself1 and all its beloved inmates1 every one of whom have now crossed the ,jordan of death1 leaving me a solitary wanderer in this weary wilderness4 ,ah1 ,i can at this moment think of spots1 by the burnside and the braeside1 endeared to my heart by a thousand tender associations4 ,there have ,i wandered with my beloved1 idolized husband1 and there has he delighted my heart with professions of love4 ,these were indeed moments of ecstasy2 but hush1 there are you a widow with very1 very different sensations1 and here am ,i a widow with sensations equally different4 ,the ,lord has showed us many and sore adversities1 but he will bring us up from the deeps below2 we are much nearer our ,father's house1 and ,i hope proportionably riper for those joys which are at his right hand2 and although your letter has brought some pleasing recollections to my mind--days of love and courtship1 days1 some of solitude1 some of disappointment1 some of ecstasy--yet ,i find they were all days of idolatry1 therefore to be mourned over1 not retasted1 renjoyed with delight4 ,no1 no2 ,father1 forgive me4 ,,chapter ,x4 ,,new ,,york ,,bible ,,society--,,associations ,,for ,,prayer--,,happy ,,old ,,age--,,letters4 ,in ,december1 #ahji1 a ,bible ,society was organized in ,new ,york1 and about the same time twenty respectable persons united in a society1 to wait on the ,lord1 to know what their hands could find to do to promote his glory1 to advance his kingdom1 to spread the savor of the ,redeemer's name1 or in any way to benefit the souls of their fellow-sinners4 ,on ,monday a meeting for prayer was instituted in ,hetty-street1 and another in ,mulberry-street1 with which the ,presbyterian ministers have agreed to meet in rotation4 ,it is the ,lord4 ,we have heard of revivals all around1 but feared lest the aggravated sins of ,new ,york might provoke the ,lord to pass by1 leaving our fleece dry1 while the dew wet all around4 ,great have been our privileges2 the gospel trumpet has sounded in every corner of our city4 ,the ,lord's servants have set before us life and death1 assuring us1 from ,god's word1 that 'though hand join in hand1 the wicked shall not go unpunished2' beseeching us to flee from the wrath to come1 and lay hold on the hope set before us4 ,god in his providence has visited us with mercies and with judgments3 stricken us1 and healed us2 scattered us1 and gathered us3 but alas1 alas1 we were 'eating and drinking1 marrying and giving in marriage4' ,many1 very many1 wasting their time1 health1 and substance1 in all manner of immorality1 and our rulers caring for none of these things2 yea1 many of them practising the same things2 and ,oh1 ,god's own saved people sitting still1 restraining testimony before men and prayer before ,god4 ,what were we to expect but that ,god should say1 ,why should they be stricken any more8 they will revolt more and more3 they are joined to idols2 let them alone4 ,such1 ,o ,lord1 would be the case didst thou not deliver us out of our own self-destroying snares4 ,if thou turn us not1 we shall never turn2 it is in our nature to backslide for ever4 ,but is not the time come to pass when before thy people call thou answerest1 and while they are yet speaking1 thou hearest8 ,art thou not calling with power1 ',return1 ye backsliding children1 and ,i will heal your backslidings8' and hast thou not prepared their hearts to answer1 ,behold1 we come unto thee1 for thou art the ,lord our ,god8 truly1 in vain is salvation looked for from the hills1 and from the multitude of mountains2 truly1 from the ,lord our ,god is the salvation of ,israel4 ,hast thou not1 ,o ,god1 prepared the hearts of thy people to pray1 and thine ear to hear8 ,is not this ,bible ,society1 and are not these associations for prayer1 tokens from thee for good8 ,more and more1 ,lord1 may thy people give thee no rest1 until thou make ,zion a praise in the earth4 ,o the ,hope of ,israel1 and the ,saviour thereof1 be not as a wayfaring man1 that turneth aside for a night4 ,may thy people constrain thee to abide with us for ever1 to form us a people for thyself1 to show forth thy praise4 ,i have just conveyed dear ,mrs4 ,a----le to the confines of the eternal world4 ,i trust the dear ,redeemer received her spirit4 ,i have a good hope that she is now in possession of the mansion purchased and prepared for her by that dear ,saviour whose name she professed1 and ,i think1 in an humble1 steady1 quiet way1 faithfully followed4 ,she loved the word of ,god1 the house of ,god1 the people of ,god4 ,she spoke little1 but said she had a good hope3 asked me to read the ,bible different times1 and also to pray2 said the invitations of the gospel were sweet to her3 observed that the ,lord had been very merciful to her in her affliction4 ,a few hours before her death she desired me to read that hymn1 ',to him that loved the souls of men1' etc1 ,also1 ',come1 let us join our cheerful songs1' etc4 ,she asked if ,i thought she would continue long4 ,i said1 ,no1 my dear1 you will very soon be with ,jesus2 and encouraged her as the ,lord enabled me4 ,she repeated the question some time after1 and ,i gave her the same answer4 ,she then said1 ',this night8' ,i answered1 ,yes1 my love1 this night4 ,she bowed her head with a sweet smile1 laid it in a reclining posture1 and set herself to wait with patience the ,lord's time4 ,she was very much oppressed1 and breathed with much difficulty4 ,some time after she asked me to pray1 which ,i did1 and begged that the ,lord would increase her faith and patience1 and1 if according to his will1 give her a gentle passage and an abundant entrance4 ,in a short time her breathing became short and low2 she shut her eyes and gently breathed weaker and weaker1 till her ,god delivered her without motion or groan4 ,i was on my knees praying4 ,i then thanked ,god for his goodness in this sweet dismission2 prayed for the husband1 the children1 the two young men present1 and us all1 gave glory to ,god1 and rose to watch to future duty4 ,o my ,god1 is not my own death at hand8 ,it is a hard battle4 ,my ,jesus1 thou knowest the struggle4 ,i too must drink of this cup2 mix it for me1 my ,redeemer4 ,o let a full sense of free pardon1 the recollection of the great and precious promises1 a bright view of the joys at ,god's right hand1 as the fruit of thy death1 be applied to my soul in that awful hour4 ,holy ,spirit1 pour in the oil and wine of thy consolations in that trying hour4 ,o let me not be straitened4 ,open wide to my soul the leaves of that well-ordered covenant1 of which ,christ himself is the sum and substance4 ,redeeming ,god1 may ,i experience proof in that solemn hour1 that 'thy flesh is meat indeed1 and thy blood is drink indeed4' ,o feed me with this living food2 may ,i feel life spring up in my soul1 and be assured that ,i shall 'never die4' ,o my ,god1 grant one more request4 ,open my lips1 and let them1 as well as my heart1 be filled with the high praises of my redeeming ,god4 ,i know ,i am unworthy2 the vilest of the vile2 but magnify thy grace4 ,i have much forgiven2 ,o let my heart burn with love and gratitude in that hour1 and my lips utter its effusions in songs of praise4 ,amen4 ,when the short thick breathing comes1 and the slow fetches1 sealing up speech and expelling the spirit from its abode1 ,o let me hear or understand thee saying unto me1 ',it is ,i1 be not afraid4' ,,january1 #ahaj4 ',come and let us return unto the ,lord1 for he hath torn1 and he will heal us2 he hath smitten1 and he will bind us up4 ,after two days will he revive us1 in the third day he will raise us up1 and we shall live in his sight4' ,o ,lord1 turn us and we shall be turned1 draw us and we will run after thee4 ,revive us1 and we shall live in thy sight4 ,thou must ever be first4 ,it is in our nature to backslide for ever3 and whenever we see a backslider restored1 or a rebel lay down the weapons of rebellion1 there we may trace thy footsteps1 ,o ,god of grace4 ,no external providence will touch our hard1 our deceitful hearts4 ,all that goes under the name of misfortune will but drive us from thee1 never to thee1 till thou teach us to profit1 and lead us by the way that we should go4 ,thou callest1 ',return1 ye backsliding children1 and ,i will heal your backslidings2' but we have been foolish1 sottish children1 without understanding1 wise to do evil1 but to do good having no knowledge4 ,let the days come when the children of ,america--the earth is the ,lord's--shall 'come with weeping1 and seek the ,lord their ,god2' when 'they shall ask the way to ,zion1 with their faces thitherward2' when they shall come1 saying1 ',let us join ourselves to the ,lord in a perpetual covenant1 never to be forgotten4' ,o the ,hope of ,israel and ,saviour thereof1 is not that day and that time come8 ,hast thou not been working on the right hand and on the left8 ,thou hast given us pastors according to thine own heart1 who feed us with knowledge and understanding3 and thou art here and there proving thy gospel thy power and thy wisdom1 to the salvation of sinners2 casting down the imaginations of pride1 and bringing all into subjection to thy ,son ,jesus4 ,o pour out the spirit of grace and supplication1 upon thy living members1 that they may wrestle with thee1 and not let thee go until thou bless us1 until thou make this 'cloud like a man's hand' cover our heavens with blackness1 and issue in a plentiful rain4 ,o pour water upon him that is thirsty1 and floods on the dry ground2 thy ,spirit upon our seed1 and thy blessing upon our offspring4 ,o ,lord1 hast thou not said that thou wilt do it1 and that they shall spring up as among the grass1 and as willows by the water-courses4 ,one shall say1 ,i am the ,lord's1 another shall call himself by the name of ,jacob1 and another shall subscribe with his hand unto the ,lord1 and surname himself by the name of ,israel4 ,amen1 ,o our ,god1 ,amen4 ,last week the ,lord's young servant1 ,mr4 ,r----1 received to the communion of the church seven adults1 ,mrs4 ,b---- and her two daughters1 ,dr4 ,h---- and sister1 ,mr4 ,c----1 and a black woman1 servant to ,mr4 ,h----4 ,it was a glorious sight1 and revived the hearts of ,god's people who witnessed it4 ,o ,god of grace1 grant that the fruits of righteousness may prove that they are broken off from the wild olive-tree1 and grafted into thee1 thou living and life-giving olive-tree2 from thee must their fruit be found4 ,o cause them to bring forth much fruit4 ,herein is the ,father glorified1 that they bear much fruit2 so shall they be ,christ's disciples1 and attain to the assurance of that happy state4 ,father1 glorify thy name4 ,amen4 ,in the year #ahaj1 while bathing at ,rockaway1 she was carried by the surf beyond her depth1 and for some time there was scarcely a hope of her regaining the shore4 ,her grandchildren were weeping on the beach1 and the company assembled there were afflicted but hopeless spectators of her danger4 ,at that moment of peril she prayed to the ,lord for deliverance1 but acquiesced in his will1 if he should see fit to take her to himself in this manner4 ,able to swim a little1 she kept herself afloat for some time3 she became at length very faint2 and when her friends on the beach apprehended her lost1 they perceived that the waves had impelled her somewhat nearer to them4 ,a gentleman present1 and her female attendant1 stepped into the surf and extending their arms for mutual support1 one of them was enabled to lay hold on ,mrs4 ,graham's bathing-gown and to pull her towards them4 ,when they brought her ashore she was much exhausted1 and had swallowed a considerable quantity of water4 ,it was some hours before she revived1 when she addressed the company in a very serious and impressive manner that affected them to tears4 ,her health during the following winter was much impaired by the shock it had received4 ,,rockaway1 ,june #ae1 #ahaj4 ,came here the first of the month1 with the children in the whooping-cough4 ,no 'church-going bell' here1 but the ,lord is everywhere2 and ,i have found him here1 warming my heart with gratitude and contrition1 and drawing it out in prayer for his people met to worship in his sanctuary4 ,when at a distance from my own people1 it has been my practice to join with whatever class of professing ,christians might be near me4 ,here it has been with the ,methodists1 who1 ,i believe1 enjoy communion with ,god4 ,yesterday ,i went to a meeting of ----1 who lay great stress on good morals2 but1 ,o my ,god1 what could ,i do1 shut up with them8 ,without the finished work of my ,saviour1 ,i could have no hope2 without his law-fulfilling righteousness1 ,i must stand a law-condemned sinner4 ,the preacher yesterday took no text2 in the course of his sermon he said the ,scriptures were only secondary guides4 ,he began with the importance of thinking of death1 and said it could not be possible for a rational being to live carelessly1 with thoughts of death and eternity in view4 ,is it so8 ,no2 we see sinners die1 under the full conviction that they are dying1 as thoughtless as they have lived4 ,he said1 that by constantly attending to the motions of the ,spirit and complying with them1 ,christians arrived at a state of perfection even here2 and brought in that text1 ',he that is born of ,god cannot sin1' etc4 ,spoke highly of watchfulness1 and avoiding connection with the world2 said a real ,christian could not hold any office of power among men4 ,paul held one1 but he gave it up when he became an apostle4 ,christ's kingdom was not of this world4 ,laws and officers were necessary among the men of the world1 but not among ,christians4 ,spoke of the cross of ,christ as consisting in suffering and self-denial4 ,his blood was the ,spirit which cleansed from all sin1 by delivering all who obeyed him from its power4 ,he named not my blessed ,saviour1 except when he had occasion to mention some of his moral sayings4 ,he said1 indeed1 that he was the ,light that lightened every man that came into the world1 and the condemnation was that men would not receive it2 but one word of his blessed priesthood he spoke not1 but said we were in a state of probation1 and every one would be judged according to his works1 taking into view the advantages he had enjoyed2 recommended the reading of the ,scriptures1 especially the inspired books1 the ,new ,testament and the prophets2 for it needed no inspiration to write the national history of the ,jews more than that of any other nation4 ,said the ,scriptures were good secondary guides1 and contained excellent lessons and truths4 ,when ,i was coming away he offered me his hand1 saying that ,i was not a resident there4 ,i answered no1 ,i was separated from my own people1 but wished to unite with any class of ,christians who met professedly to worship ,god2 but confessed ,i could not live upon what he had this day delivered4 ,he asked what was wrong4 ,i answered1 he had given some good exhortations2 ,i agreed with him in many things respecting conduct2 but ,i missed the foundation4 ,he repeated the scriptures1 ',other foundation can no man lay1' etc4 ,i said1 ,exactly3 off this foundation there is no salvation2 on this foundation there may be loss1 but no condemnation4 ,we have a great and merciful ,high-priest1 who can have compassion on the ignorant1 and them who are out of the way2 and there may be straw1 hay1 stubble1 which will be burnt up1 but the soul itself1 being on the foundation1 is safe4 ,he said with firmness1 ,that will be burnt up in this world2 without holiness no man shall see the ,lord4 ,i said1 ,true2 but why avoid the tenor of ,scripture8 read all the epistles2 the ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 the gift of ,god1 the propitiatory sacrifice1 the meritorious law-fulfilling righteousness1 is set forth1 in every one of them1 as that which saves from wrath and entitles to eternal life4 ,he said they were all emblems of our being made holy in heart and life2 ,christians were baptized unto the death of ,christ1 and rise with him to newness of life1 buried with him1 etc4 ,i granted that as one reading of these words4 ,he said every other view was shadow4 ,i said1 ,no--the blood of bulls and goats is shadow2 ,christ himself1 his person1 his offices1 his life1 his sufferings1 his death1 his burial1 resurrection1 ascension1 and intercession within the veil1 are all substance--the sole foundation of my hope1 and my only plea at a throne of grace4 ,dear ,name1 the rock on which ,i build1 ,my shield and hiding-place1 ,my never-failing treasury1 filled ,with boundless stores of grace4 ,jesus1 my ,husband1 ,shepherd1 ,friend1 ,my ,prophet1 ,priest1 and ,king1 ,my ,lord1 my life1 my way1 my end1 ,accept the praise ,i bring4 ,,rockaway1 ,august1 #ahaj4 ,hebrews is my ordinary1 when no other passage of ,scripture attracts my particular attention4 ,this is the third morning ,i have opened the ,new ,testament on the #adth chapter of ,john1 and have fed delightfully on the first three verses4 ,there is at all times a thorn in my heart1 keeping me in continual remembrance of my vile1 ungrateful backslidings1 so that ,i eat my sweetest morsels with bitter herbs4 ,it was particularly painful to me this morning2 nevertheless2 the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 repeated on my heart1 ',let not your heart be troubled1 neither let it be afraid4' ,i was arrested at the fourth verse1 ',whither ,i go ye know1 and the way ye know4' ,i have had many comfortable exercises on the eighth verse1 the ,redeemer's answer to ,philip's inquiry4 ,but this morning my mind was led to a different view of that saying1 and which ,i think was literally included4 ,the ,redeemer was going to his ,father1 and his way lay through death1 the death of the cross4 ,the hour was at hand when he was to make his holy and righteous soul an offering for sin1 that he might become the author of salvation to all who obey him4 ,all the sins confessed and pardoned by the sacrifices under the law were laid on this blessed ,surety--they were only the shadows1 he was the substance--the real ,lamb of ,god which taketh away the sin of the world1 was now to be offered up4 ,this was he who said1 ',sacrifice and offering thou wouldest not1 but a body hast thou prepared me2 in burnt-offerings and offerings for sin thou hast had no pleasure2 then said ,i1 ,lo1 ,i come to do thy will1 ,o ,god3' by which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of ,jesus ,christ once for all4 ,he was going to the garden--,oh that garden6 ,peter had said he was able to drink of that cup and to be baptized with that baptism4 ,ah no1 ,peter2 that exceeding sorrow in the garden1 when no visible hand was upon him1 was a cup the least drop of which would have overwhelmed the strongest angel4 ,no strength short of omnipotent could have sustained that hour and power of darkness4 ,it was not the scourge1 the thorns1 the nails1 nor the last pangs of dissolution2 through all these he was as a lamb led to the slaughter1 and as a sheep before her shearers1 dumb4 ,it was a mysterious horror1 of which no created being can have any conception4 ,it was this that wrung the great drops of blood through every pore of his sacred body--this that extorted the agonizing prayer1 ',father1 if it be possible1 let this cup pass from me2' and again1 in his last moments on the cross1 ',my ,god1 my ,god1 why hast thou forsaken me8' ,blessed1 for ever blessed be our ,jehovah ,jesus1 who said1 ',not my will1 but thine be done4' ,the will of ,god was done1 and he said1 ',it is finished1' and gave up the ghost4 ,all his people must follow him by the way of death2 nearly all his disciples followed by the death of the cross1 and many others after them1 supported by his almighty grace1 rejoiced that they were counted worthy to suffer for his sake2 but they drank not of that cup4 ,some of his people1 for holy and wise purposes1 have had a taste in the hiding of ,god's face1 but no curse2 that he himself drank to the last drop3 ,he trod the wine-press alone1 and of the people there was none with him4 ,by his own death he destroyed him that had the power of death1 and secured victory to all his followers3 he changed its aspect from that of the king of terrors to that of a welcome messenger from their redeeming ,god1 to conduct them to those blessed mansions which he has purchased and prepared for them2 neither will he leave them alone with that messenger3 ',and if ,i go1 ,i will come again and receive you to myself1 that where ,i am1 there ye may be also4 ,i will not leave you comfortless1 ,i will come to you4 ,the world seeth me no more1 but ye see me2 because ,i live1 ye shall live also4 ,let not your heart be troubled1 neither let it be afraid4' ,amen4 ',come1 ,lord ,jesus4' ',sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire2 mine ears hast thou opened3 burnt-offering and sin-offering hast thou not required4 ,then said ,i1 ,lo1 ,i come3 in the volume of the book it is written of me1 ,i delight to do thy will1 ,o my ,god3 yea1 thy law is in my heart4' ,psalm #dj3f4 ',above when he said1 ,sacrifice and offering and burnt-offerings and offering for sin thou wouldst not1 neither hadst pleasure therein--which are offered by the law--then said he1 ,lo1 ,i come to do thy will1 ,o ,god4 ,he taketh away the first1 that he may establish the second4 ,by the which will we are sanctified1 through the offering of the body of ,jesus ,christ once for all4 ,this man1 after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever1 sat down on the right hand of ,god4 ,for by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified4 ,whereof the ,holy ,ghost also is a witness to us3 for after that he had said before1 ',this is the covenant that ,i will make with them after those days1' in consequence of ,christ's doing the will of ,god1 fulfilling all righteousness3 ',i will put my laws into their hearts1 and in their minds will ,i write them2 and their sins and iniquities will ,i remember no more4 ,now1 where remission of these is1 there is no more offering for sin4 ,having1 therefore1 boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of ,jesus1 by a new and living way1 which he hath consecrated for us1 through the veil1 that is to say1 his flesh2 and having a ,high-priest over the house of ,god2 let us draw near with a true heart1 in full assurance of faith1 having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience1 and our bodies washed with pure water4 ,let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering2 for he is faithful that promised4' ,hebrews #aj3h-bc2 #h3aj4 ,again1 ',the ,lord sware1 and will not repent2 thou art a priest for ever after the order of ,melchizedek4 ,by so much was ,jesus made a surety of a better testament2 because he continueth ever1 and hath an unchangeable priesthood4 ,wherefore he is able to save them to the uttermost that come unto ,god by him1 seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them1' ,heb4 #g3ba-be4 ',christ glorified not himself to be made a high-priest1 but ,he that said unto him1 ,thou art my ,son1 to-day have ,i begotten thee2 as he saith also in another place1 ,thou art a priest for ever after the order of ,melchizedek4' ,heb4 #e3e1 #f4 ',for the law maketh men high-priests which have infirmity2 but the word of the oath1 which was since the law1 maketh the ,son1 who is consecrated for evermore4' ,heb4 #g3bh4 ',the word which ,god sent unto the children of ,israel1 preaching peace by ,jesus ,christ3 ,he is ,lord of all4 ,how ,god anointed ,jesus of ,nazareth with the ,holy ,ghost and with power2 who went about doing good1 and healing all that were oppressed of the devil2 for ,god was with him4 ,to him give all the prophets witness1 that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins4' ,acts #aj3cf-ch1 #dc4 ,how well she was qualified to give instruction to young disciples1 will appear in the following letters to two1 who died shortly after of consumption4 ,to ,miss ,van ,wyck1 ,new ,york4 ,,rockaway1 #ahaj4 ,,my ,,dear1 ,,my ,,beloved ,,eliza--,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,b---- are here on a visit for one night4 ,i did not expect to see them so soon1 or ,i would have had a letter ready4 ,i expect another opportunity in the course of a few days1 when ,i will send you a long letter1 from my heart1 and1 ,i hope1 dictated by your and my ,teacher4 ,i learn by my children that you continue much in the same way in which ,i left you4 ,it is your own ,god who mixes your cup1 and it is to you a cup of blessing2 there is no curse in it4 ,your ,jesus drank that cup to the very dregs1 that bitter as well as sweet might be to you a cup of blessing4 ,o then1 my darling1 hold fast by your ,redeemer3 he is the ,lord your righteousness1 and the ,lord your strength2 he connects your profit with his own glory4 ,you shall in this protracted affliction manifest it1 and hold out the word of life to those around you499 ,you shall witness for him that he is the ,lord1 and besides him there is no ,saviour--that he gathers the lambs in his arms1 and carries them in his bosom--that he is to them a hiding-place from the wind1 and a covert from the tempest--as rivers of water in a dry place1 and as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land4 ,that it is he that teacheth them to profit1 and leadeth them by the way that they should go1 and that in due time he will perfect all that concerns them4 ,farewell4 99,this prediction was remarkably fulfilled in the experience of this dear young saint2 an interesting account of whose illness and death was published in the ,christian's ,magazine1 and afterwards as a ,tract4 ,yours with affection1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,to the same4 ,,rockaway1 ,sabbath1 #ahaj4 ,,my ,,dear1 ,,my ,,beloved ,,eliza--,i wrote you a few lines yesterday by ,mr4 ,b----4 ,i now propose to fulfil my promise4 ,i expect an opportunity to-morrow or next day1 for ,i saw a great many carriages pass this way to the tavern1 as ,i suppose1 from ,new ,york4 ,it is a common thing with some to come here on ,saturday and return on ,monday1 to spend this blessed day in pastime4 ,you would not1 ,i know1 exchange situation's with them2 you would rather be suffering than sinning4 ,it is your own observation that ,god does all in wisdom2 in this wisdom he is pleased to lengthen your day of affliction4 ,sin1 my darling1 is the cause of all suffering2 but is not always the immediate cause4 ,besides particular chastisement for particular sins1 there are afflictions to be filled up in the body of ,christ--his church--a measure of which1 in kind and degree1 is appointed by unerring wisdom to each individual member4 ,col4 #a3bd4 ,these sufferings bear no part in atoning for sin1 nor in redeeming our forfeited inheritance4 ,christ trod the wine-press alone1 and of the people there was none to help him4 ,he was made sin for us1 who knew no sin1 that we might be made the righteousness of ,god in him2 who when he had by himself purged our sins1 sat down on the right hand of the ,majesty on high4 ,heb4 #a3c4 ,again1 ',and every priest1' in the ,levitical law1 'standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices1 which can never take away sins3 but this man1 after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever1 sat down on the right hand of ,god4 ,for by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified4 ,whereof the ,holy ,ghost is also a witness to us2 for after he had said before'--see from verse #e--',this is the covenant which ,i will make with them after those days1 saith the ,lord2 ,i will put my laws into their hearts1 and in their minds will ,i write them2 and their sins and iniquities will ,i remember no more4 ,now1 where remission of these is1 there is no more offering for sin4' ,heb4 #aj3aa-ah4 ,paul says the ,holy ,ghost is a witness1 because he copies from the ancient ,scriptures the prophecies of ,jer4 #ca3ca1 and ,ezek4 #cf3be1 and from ,psalm #fj3g4 ,your mother will read to you also the eighth chapter of ,hebrews1 containing the same things1 the new covenant1 in consequence of ,christ1 as the surety of sinners1 having made full atonement1 magnified the law1 and made it honorable2 therefore there is now no condemnation to them who are in ,christ ,jesus4 ,it has pleased ,god1 my darling1 in the adorable plan of reconciling sinners to himself by ,jesus ,christ1 to perfect at once a justifying righteousness for them1 and to bestow it upon them as a free gift4 ',this is the record1 that ,god hath given to us eternal life2 and this life is in his ,son4' #a ,john1 #e3aa4 ,but it has not pleased him to deliver us at once from depravity2 provision is made for final deliverance by the same covenant1 and is effected by the same power3 but in this believers are called to work4 ,it is evident from ,scripture1 and the experience of ,christians answers to it1 that in the hour of believing they pass from death to life1 considered as a state4 ,this is the hour of the new birth3 they then receive life for the time1 and it is their privilege1 by the constitution of the new covenant1 to ask and receive1 from day to day1 grace to help in every time of need4 ,to them1 and not to the unregenerate1 the exhortation is addressed1 ',work out your own salvation with fear and trembling1 for it is ,god who worketh in you1 both to will and to do1 of his good pleasure1' ,the means are of ,god's appointing1 in the diligent use of which they go from strength to strength4 ,the grand means is faith in ,god's promises1 of which there are very many in the ,scriptures4 ,believers are to put forth their own exertions1 as the children of ,israel were called to go out against their enemies1 in the faith that ,god would give them victory and lead them to their promised rest4 ,the battle was the ,lord's1 and he fought for them2 but the means were their exertions4 ,believers are ,god's workmanship2 but this work he carries on by exercising their natural powers1 which he sanctifies to a different end from that to which they were formerly by their own spirit directed4 ,still1 the ,scripture testifies that if any man say he has no sin1 he deceives himself1 and the truth is not in him2 and while sin remains1 its consequence1 suffering1 must4 ,the judgments of ,god1 as the moral ,governor of the world1 are denounced against1 and executed upon the workers of iniquity4 ,the children of ,god experience personal chastisements for personal sins1 as a provision of the covenant4 ,psalm #hi3cj4 ,and1 if ,i mistake not1 there are afflictions experienced by individuals1 as members of ,christ's body1 in which ,god does not bring into view the personal sins of the sufferer4 ,in this sense ,i read ,paul's epistle to the ,colossians1 #a3bd3 ',who now rejoice in my sufferings1 and fill up that which is behind of the sufferings of ,christ in my flesh1 for his body's sake1 which is the church4' ',i sent ,timotheus to establish you1 and to comfort you concerning your faith1 that no man should be moved by these afflictions2 for yourselves know that we are appointed thereunto4' #a ,thes4 #c3c4 ',yea1 if ,i be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith1 ,i joy and rejoice with you all2 for the same cause do ye joy and rejoice with me4' ,phil4 #b3ag4 ',and whether we be afflicted1 it is for your consolation and salvation2 or whether we be comforted1 it is for your salvation and consolation4' #b ,cor4 #a3f4 ,there is no conscious personal sin expressed in these sufferings2 on the contrary1 ,paul says1 ',for our rejoicing is this1 the testimony of our conscience1 that in simplicity and godly sincerity1 not with fleshly wisdom1 but by the grace of ,god1 we have had our conversation in the world1 and more abundantly to you-ward4' #b ,cor4 #a3ab4 ,most of the prophets and apostles suffered martyrdom4 ,they indeed sustained public characters1 but the beggar ,lazarus1 who1 in addition to poverty1 was full of sores1 was carried by the angels from the rich man's gate to ,abraham's bosom4 ,and thousands and tens of thousands of redeemed highly sanctified ones have suffered lengthened martyrdom1 and perished with hunger1 in holes and caves of the earth1 unknown in history1 except in groups--unseen at the time1 except by the eye of the omniscient ,jehovah1 by whom the hairs of their head are numbered2 their tears are in his bottle2 nor shall one sigh nor one groan perish without its result4 ,o my ,eliza1 what delightful wonders shall open to our view when delivered from these prison-holds of earth4 ,i have finished one sheet1 my dear ,eliza2 ,i fear it is too much1 and may prove too fatiguing1 especially as there are many references requiring a stretch of attention4 ,i have been reading the epistle to the ,hebrews1 and you have naturally got my thoughts on part of it4 ,i remember once of your complaining that you had made small progress in knowledge1 in comparison of a young person that had just left you2 but you checked yourself1 and said1 ',the ,lord has given me faith1 let me be thankful4' ,i at that time considered your departure as very near1 and advised you to keep your eye fixed on ,christ1 as your ,redeemer and ,saviour1 who had performed all things for you1 and would perfect all that concerned you2 and added1 one hour in heaven will make you wiser than the most enlightened saint on earth4 ,since that it has pleased your ,lord to add many days to your life4 ,he has mitigated your pain1 and given you some intervals of ease and composure1 and our dear ,eliza has grown in that time4 ,should it please ,god to spare you for a yet longer season1 and continue your intervals of ease1 no subject can be so profitable2 and ,i hope your ,lord will make it pleasant as that of the contents of the ,new ,testament1 which your ,saviour bequeathed to you1 sealed and ratified in his blood4 ,there is a vast variety of precious promises contained in the ,scriptures of the ,old and ,new ,testament1 which are all yours with ,christ2 for1 as a member of his body1 'you are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets1 ,jesus ,christ himself being the chief corner-stone4' ,and now ,i commend you to your own covenant ,god1 who does and will support you1 through life and through death1 to that happy land where we shall all meet2 and ,oh then1 eye hath not seen1 nor ear heard1 neither have entered into the heart of man the things he hath prepared for them that love him4 ,i am1 with much love and affection1 yours1 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,to ,mr4 ,james ,todd1 ,new ,york4 ,,rockaway1 ,long ,island4 ,,my ,,dear ,,james--,this will probably be handed you by our mutual friend ,mrs4 ,c----4 ,the thought of her being with you1 makes me part with her with less reluctance4 ,you have not been forgotten by either2 we have talked much of you1 and have united in prayer to your and our ,god1 that he may manifest himself unto you as your reconciled ,father in ,christ ,jesus2 and give you 'joy and peace in believing'--that he may give you patience in suffering1 and entire resignation to his most holy will4 ,it has1 my dear young friend1 been my earnest inquiry1 especially of late years1 standing on the brink of eternity1 ',what is there within us1 or without us1 on which a sinner can rest in a dying hour8' ,if it be a holy life1 there is no peace for me4 ,taking the law of ,god for my rule1 backslider is my name2 yet peace ,i have found1 and on the best ,security2 this blessed ,bible is my charter4 ,i have searched it with diligence and prayer1 and my mind is confirmed in the following truths3 ,that the whole world is become guilty before ,god1 and is under his wrath and curse on that account4 ,this is our state3 a miserable state it is1 and as hopeless as miserable1 for any thing we can do merely of ourselves4 ,but ,i read in this ,bible to the full amount of the following conclusions--that in the counsel of the mysterious ,triune ,jehovah1 ,jesus ,christ1 the second person of the incomprehensible ,trinity1 was sanctified1 or set apart to become the ,saviour of law-condemned sinners1 to take their nature upon him1 comply with the requisitions of the eternal immutable law of ,god1 and become their surety4 ,man is a rebel1 it is put to his account3 a penalty is incurred--,he1 as their surety1 is made liable4 ,are they again to be made heirs of eternal life8 ,perfect obedience is the condition--and of ,him1 as their surety1 it is demanded4 ,all this being fulfilled1 sinners are become his property3 he has paid their debt1 and merited for them eternal life1 all in their own nature1 as their ,head and representative2 so that believers are complete in him4 ,this is the righteousness of ,god1 wrought out by ,jesus ,christ1 in his own person1 ,god-man1 as their surety4 ,to this nothing of the believer's is to be added--with this nothing of his mixed2 it is for ever perfect2 entirely distinct from that holiness of heart and life which is wrought in him in consequence of this4 ,god has declared himself well pleased with this righteousness1 and that being himself reconciled1 he is in ,christ ,jesus reconciling sinners to him4 ,hence all the invitations scattered thick in the ,old and ,new ,testament1 not only to the penitent1 weary1 and heavy laden1 but to the stout-hearted1 the backslider1 to them that are wearying themselves in their own way4 ',ho1 every one that thirsteth'--',whosoever will1 let him take the water of life freely1' ,hence all the promises annexed to believing1 accepting1 receiving1 trusting1 resting3 ,christ the ,saviour is the object--the gift of ,god to sinners for all the above purposes4 ,the ,lord has convinced me that ,i have nothing in myself on which ,i can rest2 my conscience echoes to his word in all that it asserts of my nature and my state2 but this ,saviour is provided for sinners exactly of this description4 ,i am invited to put in my claim1 ,i believe the record1 ,i rest my salvation on his word2 ,god giveth to me eternal life1 and this life is in his ,son4 ,jesus calls me to look unto him1 and be saved2 ,i do look unto him1 and ,i am saved4 ,he assures me that those who come unto him shall never be cast out4 ,i do go to him and commit my sinful soul to his keeping2 ,i shall not be cast out4 ,as many as receive the gift of his ,son1 receive at the same time power to become the children of ,god4 ,i do receive his gift1 and lay claim to his promise4 ,he is my reconciled ,father1 and ,i am his adopted child1 and he hath sent his ,spirit into my heart1 by which ,i can say1 ,abba1 ,father4 ,i have1 my dear ,james1 taken this method of laying before you the grounds of my own hope1 because ,i think it the most simple method1 and containing at the same time my counsel to you to lay hold on the same hope4 ,the warrant is given us in ,god's own word1 as sinners1 without respect to fruit or any works of ours4 ,i can1 if necessary1 give you chapter and verse1 to the full amount2 but you have those about you who can give it to you by little and little1 as your weak state can bear it4 ,this gift is held out to the sinner's acceptance in many places of the word of ,god1 and becomes the sinner's in the moment of believing4 ,provision is made by the same covenant for his sanctification2 but that makes no part of justifying righteousness4 ,christ is made of ,god unto him wisdom1 righteousness1 sanctification1 and redemption4 ,try1 my precious young friend1 to lay hold on this hope1 and enter into the rest provided for the believer here4 ,stretch forth 'the withered hand1' the ,lord himself will give you strength4 ,commit your precious soul into his hands1 and rest assured that he will perfect all that concerns you--work all his work in you--carry you safely through the ,jordan of death1 and put you in possession of the inheritance he has purchased for you4 ,that all this shall be1 is the prayer and firm hope of ,your affectionate friend1 ,,isabella ,,graham4 ,the two following extracts1 addressed to ,mrs4 ,c----1 near ,boston1 present a very gratifying view of ,mrs4 ,graham in her advanced years1 and may well awaken the desire not only to die the death1 but to enjoy the fruitful old age of the righteous4 ,i have1 as you know1 enjoyed much in life1 enjoyed its dearest1 sweetest comforts1 love and friendship1 with a heart tremblingly alive to both4 ,lover and friends of youth are long since gone1 other friendships ,i have formed1 and have been happy even in these2 now ,i am shut up with ails and aches4 ,the world1 properly so called1 is a dead blank to me2 yet ,i do think ,i never enjoyed life more4 ,i would not exchange my present happiness for the most transporting moments of my life--of which ,i have had a large share--though thousands of years were added to enjoy them4 ,i do not mean barely that happiness which consists in the anticipation of pleasure beyond the grave2 that is indeed delightful2 but ,i enjoy life now4 ,books of taste are mine no more3 still less those of science and history2 but my dear ,bible2 precious subjects2 my dear ,saviour4 ,the height1 the depth1 the breadth1 the length of the glorious plan of redemption open to my delightful perception more and more1 and the ,spirit witnesseth with my spirit1 that ,i have my part in it by the gift of faith4 ,i believe the record1 that ,god giveth to us eternal life1 and ,i put in my claim as a sinner4 ,i account it a 'faithful saying1 and worthy of all acceptation1 that ,jesus ,christ came into the world to save sinners1 of whom ,i am the chief1' ,i still enjoy the ordinances of the gospel3 my memory1 as you know1 is much impaired3 ,i recollect very little of the sermons ,i hear2 but ,i think ,i never heard with so much attention4 ,i am delighted1 instructed1 and fed at the time1 and the subjects open to me without my being able to recollect the order or the words of the speaker4 ,o let me recommend this dear ,lord to your heart and confidence2 commit all your concerns to him2 mistrust no part of his providential dealings with you2 his wisdom shall manage for you1 and you shall one day say1 ',he hath done all things well4' ,,march1 #ahaa4 ,i am daily on the lookout2 one year and three months will complete my threescore and ten4 ,i do not know one individual alive whom ,i know in my school-days2 it has been the case for many years4 ,i do not long for my dismission1 neither am ,i tired of life2 but nothing in this world1 unless closely connected with another1 interests me2 and ,oh1 ,i am tired of sin2 still it cleaves to me2 in all things ,i come short1 and many duties neglect altogether2 for ,i still have a considerable1 share of health1 and might do some good1 had ,i will equal to my opportunities2 as to the power1 it is not in me1 but ,i know ,i have it in my blessed ,head1 and for the asking4 ,i cannot but long to be delivered from sin1 and sinful apathy in particular2 for really my heart must be wickedly fertile1 to find out opportunities of moral transgression4 ,food and raiment are mine without care2 my children1 under ,god1 care for me4 ,i have my dear little room1 my ,bible1 and books founded on it4 ,i have a dear pastor and ,christian friends1 lively ordinances1 and also much of the ,lord's presence at times2 my cup runs over with blessings1 but my gratitude bears no proportion2 my zeal for the glory of ,god and the good of my fellow-sinners seems buried under self-indulgence and apathy4 ,o that the goodness of the ,lord may lead me to repentance4 ,and now1 my dear friend1 let me know how it is with you and your dear family4 ,the severe winter is past2 how have you got along8 with what temporal comfort1 and how has the ,lord dealt with your soul8 ,has the barrel of meal or the cruse of oil failed8 ,does the opening spring cheer your spirits1 and furnish a song of praise8 ,does it find you in a situation to dig your garden1 sow your seeds1 and make provision for future comfort8 ,has the ,lord turned your captivity1 and dried up the bitter waters that flowed against you8 ,how are your eyes1 after all the briny tears that have steeped them8 ,how are your poor nerves1 after all the shocks that have agitated them8 ,all these things have been on my mind2 but from my long silence1 you cannot believe it4 ,what are we all1 but broken reeds1 which pierce the hand when laid hold of for support8 ,there is but one ,friend to poor1 fallen1 miserable man1 in the universe4 ,he is mercy2 he is goodness2 he is truth2 he is wisdom2 he is unchangeable1 and never will fail you3 take him to your heart2 give it all to him2 he only is worthy1 no other is4 ,her friend ,mrs4 ,c---- had now experienced new trials1 by which she was again plunged into the depth of despondency4 ,in the following we have a noble effort of ,mrs4 ,graham's mind and heart to raise her up to sit in heavenly places in ,christ ,jesus4 ,,june #bg1 #ahaa4 ,i received my dear friend's letter this day week1 and have been answering it ever since4 ,never was ,i in such a strait4 ,it contains the effusions of disappointed hopes and anticipations of sore evils2 indicates a soul deeply wounded1 and taking in ,christian principles under temptation4 ,where shall ,i begin8 ,i have laid it before our compassionate ,high-priest1 ,i have requested direction4 ,assist me1 ,o thou blessed ,comforter1 whose office it is to convince of sin1 as well as to minister consolation4 ,do both1 from the heart and by the pen of thy handmaid4 ,it appears to me salutary to call your attention first to the sovereignty of ,god4 ,the silver and the gold are his1 and the cattle on a thousand hills2 he gives them to whomsoever he pleases2 he setteth up one and putteth down another1 doing whatsoever pleaseth him in the armies of heaven1 and among the inhabitants of this earth2 none can stay his hand1 or say unto him1 ,what doest thou8 ,he attributes to himself all events2 men and other creatures are but instruments4 ,men's wicked hearts impel them to commit evil1 but the events are of the ,lord1 which he overrules for his own glory1 and for the good of his people4 ',him being delivered by the determinate counsel' of ,god1 ye have taken1 and by wicked hands have crucified him4 ,joseph said1 ',ye thought evil against me2 but ,god meant it for good1' 'to save much people alive4' ,the ,lord does not often1 at the time1 give his people reasons for afflicting them1 though they can often read them at an after-period4 ,job was a holy man2 his afflictions from ,god's own hand were very deep2 the teasing unkindness and injustice of his friends made great part of the temptation1 and he spoke unadvisedly with his lips4 ,when ,god did appear1 he did not answer his cavils1 nor give him one reason why he had dealt with him thus2 but silenced him with views of his majesty1 power1 and wisdom--of his own meanness and vileness1 though correct in his conduct beyond most others4 ,i believe he spoke truth when he said1 ',i delivered the poor that cried1 and the fatherless1 and him that had none to help him4 ,the blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me1 and ,i caused the widow's heart to sing for joy4 ,i was eyes to the blind1 and feet was ,i to the lame4 ,i was a father to the poor1 and the cause which ,i knew not1 ,i searched out4' ,god allowed the weight of the trial to be upon his spirit1 with the conviction of his presumption1 till he brought him to his feet4 ',behold1 ,i am vile1 what shall ,i answer thee8' ',i will lay my hand upon my mouth4' ',i abhor myself1 and repent in dust and ashes4' ,these things were written for our example and profit4 ,this afflictive providence is now finished1 at least so far4 ,what you now possess is the allotment of your ,god4 ,set all instruments aside and listen to the ,holy ,ghost3 ',humble yourselves under the mighty hand of ,god1 and he shall exalt you in due time4' ,in order to this1 ,i would recommend to you to take a close1 retrospective view of your past life1 with earnest prayer that ,god would search you and try you1 and show you what wicked ways have been or now are in you4 ,go back to the days of your youth2 take a close view of the use you made of affluence and influence2 not comparing yourself with others1 but judging yourself by the law of ,god1 the only standard of right and wrong1 truth and error4 ,seek for humbling views of yourself in yourself4 ,if the ,holy ,ghost enlighten1 you will find sufficient grounds4 ,seek for consolation in the free promises of ,god1 through ,jesus ,christ1 of which there are also abundance1 even to the chief of sinners4 ,what ,i recommend to you has been my own practice1 especially in times of trial2 and if health will admit of it1 add fasting1 because ,i think it is the ,lord's ordinance4 ',the days shall come when the bridegroom shall be taken from them1 then shall they fast in those days4' ,read the third chapter of ,jeremiah's lamentations2 endeavor to come under the feelings of contrition on account of your sins1 and derive consolation from faith in ,god's great mercy2 ever keeping in view the only channel through which mercy can flow to sinners of ,adam's race4 ,take also a view of ,god's dealings with his elect nation1 in the wilderness3 they had nothing but manna1 and were punished for murmuring2 while at that very time the nations in ,canaan1 the ,egyptians1 and ,assyrians1 were living in all manner of luxury4 ,what was their whole history but backsliding1 threatening upon threatening8 then chastisement1 turning1 repenting1 pardon1 reconciliation1 and the same round again1 every chastisement severer than the last1 while worldlings in general have their day to the end2 then 'are they brought into desolation as in a moment4' ,i wish you to take a particular view of ,god's dealings with them1 before ,nebuchadnezzar sacked the city of ,jerusalem4 ,the decree was passed after many warnings1 and much long-suffering4 ,how many pauses1 as it were1 did the merciful ,lord ,god make before he gave them finally up to their enemies2 and when the decree was irrevocable1 and the chastisement to take place1 still he followed them with mercy4 ,see ,jeremiah #bg3ab2 and chapter #bi1 the letter which ,god commanded ,jeremiah to write to those who had been carried away captive with ,jehoiakim1 advising them to build houses and plant vineyards1 and to make the most of their situation4 ,those at ,jerusalem were commanded to submit to the king of ,babylon1 as in that case he would not destroy the city2 but no1 they stood it out1 and the threatened vengeance overtook them4 ,the poor were left to take care of the vineyards4 ,jeremiah remained with them in preference to going with the king of ,babylon to be promoted to honor4 ,god offered to take them under his protection and be their ,god3 but no1 they would go to ,egypt1 and put themselves under the king of ,egypt's protection4 ,jeremiah told them from the ,lord1 that ,egypt itself should soon go into captivity4 ,but to ,egypt they went and carried ,jeremiah with them4 ,see ,isaiah's prophecy on this occasion1 chapter #cj3a-d4 ,now look at chapter #db3bd2 there you see ,god's judgment and chastening2 follow him in the beginning of chapter #dc1 and view his mercy2 in the end of the same chapter1 again1 see his charge against them1 but it is followed1 with mercy1 not judgment4 ,thus we learn the character of ,god4 ,thus we learn his dealings with his people4 ,they are not called to earthly comfort and prosperity4 ,they ever have been1 and still are a suffering people2 they are all sinners--sin brings suffering1 and ,god overrules suffering1 so as to make it profitable to them4 ,though redeemed by the life and death of ,christ1 being justified by faith1 they have peace with ,god2 yet the ,lord has not pleased all at once to qualify them for the purchased possession4 ,they receive a new birth1 new life1 and are called to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling1 with this consolation1 that ,god worketh in them both to will and to do of his good pleasure4 ,this is not their home1 here they have no continuing city2 they are travelling through the wilderness1 to the city and mansions purchased and prepared for them by their ,saviour1 and must be made holy before they can enter in4 ,they have many corruptions to be mortified1 and many errors in their estimation of men and things to be corrected4 ,their hearts require to be made spiritual1 humble1 tender1 resigned1 and loving4 ',who fed thee in the wilderness with manna--that he might humble thee1 and that he might prove thee1 to do thee good at thy latter end4' ,besides1 all suffering is not the immediate punishment of sin in the individual sufferer1 nor for his exclusive profit2 it is evident from ,scripture1 there is suffering for the benefit of the body of ,christ1 his church1 of which1 ,i think1 all have some share4 ,god has wise ends to answer by all the suffering of his creatures1 and especially of the members of his body4 ,the apostles rejoiced in this1 and so ought we4 ',if we suffer with him1 we shall also reign with him4' ,paul says1 ',i fill up in my flesh that which is behind of the sufferings of ,christ1 for his body's sake1 which is the church4' ,now1 my dear friend1 look at your real situation1 as a suffering member of a suffering body4 ,take a view of the saints of ,god in history1 sacred or profane1 and compare your own individual suffering with theirs3 ,i am apt to think that1 great as it is1 it will not rise to mediocrity4 ,i could expatiate on this subject1 from what comes every day within my own knowledge4 ,the ,lord is working in this way all around me2 but of that another time4 ,in your own case1 try for a moment to shut out of view every thing without your own family1 what you once were1 what you once possessed and enjoyed2 also what your friends possess and enjoy at this present time2 detach yourself from all4 ,what was yours is gone2 what you calculated upon is also gone2 set all aside1 and consider yourself a sinner saved from destruction by grace2 in a state of purgation and preparation for happiness2 on a pilgrimage with thousands of others your fellow-saved sinners1 through the wilderness1 to that inheritance which was purchased for you at such a price4 ,your ,saviour is your leader1 protector1 provider2 also your physician1 and the physician of the whole body1 perfectly acquainted with the constitution1 disposition1 and temper of every individual4 ,he has made provision for each1 all the journey through1 and given security that none shall suffer real want4 ,bread and water are promised2 nothing beyond these1 though in general he gives more2 to each he gives a portion in hand1 to some for a day1 some for a week1 some for a year1 which they calculate upon with more or less probability3 none with certainty4 ,your portion is--for a year2 take a view of those whom you know2 one with another1 ,i am inclined to think the ,lord has still given you your full share of privilege4 ,look at the ordinary provision he makes for the ministers of his gospel1 most of them with large families2 many of those in the country have five hundred dollars1 some four hundred1 some three hundred1 generally ill paid4 ,the ,lord puts a blessing in it1 he makes it go far2 they do what their hands find to do1 and get along3 so will he do with you1 my dear4 ,he will put you upon methods of industry and economy3 your one chicken divided into six parts1 with a little bit of pork1 with the fruit of ,god's blessing on your industry in the garden1 shall both taste sweet and satisfy for the time4 ,try to be thankful2 ,moses said of the manna1 ',this is the bread which the ,lord your ,god giveth you4' ,pray and watch against dwelling on the plentiful tables of others2 and when bidden to a feast take your portion1 and say1 this is from the ,lord for the time4 ,do not let a thought of misery or wretchedness dwell upon your mind4 ,o no1 ,god is good2 you shall not want4 ,o1 what sweet meals have ,i and my children made on hot potatoes1 nicely boiled and cracked1 with salt--not merely content1 but they tasted good and savory4 ,there are peculiar pleasures in a life of that kind4 ,you shall yet sing of it4 ,now1 my dear friend1 ,i have done with what ,i had to say on this head4 ,i have had great fears of wounding1 lest you should reckon me among ,job's friends2 but you call me mother1 and it is required of a mother to be faithful4 ,i now leave it with the ,lord4 ,we are delighted to find you girding up the loins of your mind and setting about active duty4 ,let us meet at a throne of grace1 and look to the course the ,lord marks out for us4 ,to ,mrs4 ,g---- ,y----4 ,,my ,,dear ,,madam--,i have just parted with my dear afflicted friend ,mrs4 ,c----2 she left it in charge to me1 that ,i should write to you in the time of your affliction4 ,surely ,i would do any thing whatever that ,i thought might alleviate either her or your distress4 ,but there are cases to which ,god alone can speak2 afflictions which he alone can console4 ,such are those under which the sufferer is commanded to be 'still and know that he is ,god4' ,he never leaves his people in any case1 but sometimes shuts them up from human aid4 ,their grief is too great to be consoled by human tongue or pen4 ,such ,i have experienced4 ,i lost my only son2 ,i neither know when nor where2 and for any thing ,i know1 in a state of rebellion against ,god4 ,here at my heart it lies still2 who can speak to me of it8 neither can ,i reason upon it4 ,aaron held his peace4 ,old ,eli said1 ',it is the ,lord2 let him do what seemeth him good4' ,samuel in his turn had his heart wrung by his ungodly son4 ,david lamented over his beloved ,absalom2 but it availed him nothing4 ,job's sons and daughters were all cut off in one day2 he himself lay in deep1 sore bodily affliction2 his friends sat seven days and seven nights without opening their mouths1 because they saw his affliction was very great2 and if they spoke1 it was to aggregate it2 and when ,god himself spoke1 he gave him no reason for his dealings1 but charged him with folly and madness4 ',shall he that contendeth with the ,almighty instruct him8 ,he that reproveth ,god1 let him answer it4' ,then he laid his hand on his mouth1 confessed himself vile1 and became dumb before ,god2 abhorring himself1 and repenting in dust and ashes1 instead of the splendid catalogue of virtues enumerated in chapter #bi1 and complaints in chapter #aj1 which ,i make not the least doubt were true1 as far as human virtue can reach2 but if ,god charge even his angels with folly1 shall man1 corrupt1 self-destroyed man1 plead merit before ,god8 ,but1 my dear friend1 ,i do not find in all ,god's ,bible any thing requiring us to acquiesce in the final destruction of any1 for whom we have prayed1 pleaded1 and committed to him2 least of all1 our offspring whom he has commanded us to train up for him4 ,children are ,god's heritage4 ,i do not say he has given us any promise for the obstinately wicked2 but when cut off1 he only requires us to be still1 to hold our peace4 ,i do not think he takes hope from us4 ,god has set limits to our faith for others2 our faith must not rest in opposition to his threatenings4 ,we must believe that the wicked shall be turned into hell1 and all that forget ,god2 but he hath set no bounds to his own mercy2 in that glorious plan of redemption1 by which he substitutes his own ,son in the stead of sinners1 he has made provision for the chief of sinners1 and can now be just and consistent while he justifies the ungodly who believe in ,jesus4 ,short was the time between the thief's petition and the promise of salvation2 nay1 the petition was the earnest of it4 ,the same was the case with the jailer2 ,i think1 too1 the publican had the earnest in his petition4 ,now1 instead of laboring to bring my mind to acquiesce in the condemnation of my child1 on the supposition of its being for ,god's glory1 ,i try to be still1 as he has commanded3 not to follow my child to the yet invisible world2 but turning my eyes to that character which ,god has revealed of himself--to the plan of redemption--to the sovereignty of ,god in the execution of that plan--to his names of grace1 ',the ,lord1 the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 and abundant in goodness and truth1 forgiving iniquity1 and transgression1 and sin1' while he adds1 'and that will by no means clear the guilty2' ,i meet it with his own declaration1 ',he hath made ,him to be sin for us who knew no sin1 that we might be made the righteousness of ,god in him4' ,i read also that 'mercy rejoiceth against judgment1' and many other like scriptures1 which1 although ,i dare not ground a belief of his salvation on them1 afford one ray of hope after another1 that ,god may have made him a monument of mercy to the glory of his grace4 ,thus ,god himself consoles his own praying people1 while man ought to be very cautious1 if not silent1 where the ,scriptures are silent1 as it respects the final state of another1 whose heart we cannot know1 nor what ,god may have wrought in it4 ,god hath set bounds to our faith1 which can nowhere find solid ground to fix upon but in his own written promise4 ,yet1 as ,i said above1 he has set no bounds to his own mercy1 and he has made provision for its boundless flow1 as far as he shall please to extend it1 through the atonement and merits of his own ,son1 'who is able to save to the uttermost all who come unto ,god by him1' ,now1 my dear friend1 you have my ideas of our situation2 if they be correct1 ,i pray that our compassionate ,father may comfort you by them2 if otherwise1 may he pardon what is amiss1 and lead you1 my dear friend ,c----1 and myself1 to such consolation as he himself will own as the work of his ,spirit1 and save us from the enemy and our own spirit4 ,since writing the foregoing1 ,i feel afraid of what ,i have said2 it is dangerous seeking comfort where the ,scriptures are silent2 yet while we plead with ,god to be preserved from error1 and try to be still before him1 he will save us from the subtlety of the serpent1 as well as from the rage of the lion4 ,i am1 with love1 ,your sympathizing friend1 ,,isabella ,,graham4 ,,rockaway1 ,september #aj1 #ahaa4 ,i have been here four ,sabbaths4 ,the first ,i spent at home1 the weather not permitting our going abroad2 the second ,i spent at a prayer-meeting with the ,methodist brethren2 the third we rode to ,hempstead1 where ,i heard two plain gospel sermons from ,mr4 ,c----1 ,presbyterian minister2 and the last ,i attended at the ,episcopal church1 same place2 heard a good plain gospel sermon from ,mr4 ,h----1 and witnessed the dispensation of the ,lord's supper4 ,to sing the praises of our redeeming ,god1 and to lift up my heart in prayer with my fellow-sinners1 in the comfortable hope that there are other living souls praising and praying with me1 refreshes me3 to hear the word of ,god read1 and to be led to meditate upon it1 however simple and common the exposition1 also refreshes me4 ,i am generally led to pray much for minister and people2 to consider myself as one with them in ,christ4 ,however weak his natural powers1 however few or small his talents1 if ,i have reason to think that he is taught of ,god that which flesh and blood cannot teach1 ,i desire to esteem him highly for his work's sake4 ,i thank ,god for the meanest and weakest of such3 ,i believe they never labor in vain4 ',out of the mouths of babes and sucklings1' in talents as well as in years1 ,god will perfect praise4 ,in this new world1 thickly settled in many places with natural men 'eating and drinking1 marrying and giving in marriage1' while the flood of wrath is hastening to overwhelm them1 and none to warn them of their danger1 nor point out the ark of safety2 shall such men be reckoned of none account1 and their labors of no value8 ,no1 the wealth of both ,indies cannot balance their work2 nor all the talents ever possessed by fallen man1 with all the orthodoxy which mere talents are capable of acquiring1 without that divine teaching which many of those1 thus contemned1 possess4 ,that same small discourse1 those few plain points1 these same things repeated in the same way1 contain truths by which sinners may be saved1 by which sinners shall be saved4 ,suppose1 for it is but a supposition1 that these men have made a mistake4 ,they are the ,lord's1 and in their place by his providence4 ,he will be forth-coming for them1 and without miracle4 ,from him shall their fruit be found1 and his power be manifested by their weakness4 ,exert your energies1 ye gifted doctors of divinity2 and may the ,lord prosper the means used to produce a ministry which shall render attendance upon their ministrations the interest of both the understanding and the heart4 ,persuade men who are adding field to field1 house to house1 thousand to thousand1 to provide a competent maintenance for them4 ,if these last remain obstinate1 and it be idle to hope that youths of talents without fortune1 whatever be their piety1 will serve the church of ,god at the expense of devoting themselves to infallible penury1 and all the wretchedness which belongs to it--is it wise to weaken the hands and discourage the hearts of those ministers already settled pastors1 or to furnish their people with arguments in their own vindication for leaving them in want and penury8 ,in the year #ahaa1 some gentlemen of ,new ,york established a ,magdalen ,society3 they elected a board of ladies1 requesting their aid to superintend the internal management of the ,magdalen ,house4 ,this board chose ,mrs4 ,graham their presiding lady1 which office she held until her decease2 the duties attendant on it she discharged with fidelity and zeal4 ,in #ahab the trustees of the ,lancasterian school solicited the attendance of several pious ladies1 to give catechetical instruction to their scholars one afternoon in every week3 and ,mrs4 ,graham was one of those who attended regularly to this duty4 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,devotional ,,exercises ,,and ,,correspondence4 ,,february #h1 #ahab4 ',by faith ,moses1 when he was come to years1 refused to be called the son of ,pharaoh's daughter2 esteeming the reproach of ,christ greater riches than the treasures of ,egypt2 for he had respect unto the recompense of the reward3 choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of ,god1 than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season4' ,heb4 #aa3bd4 ,all that will live godly in ,christ ,jesus shall suffer persecution2 the natural heart is enmity against ,god1 and hates his image wherever found4 ,if individual ,christians have the favor of individual worldlings1 it never is for their piety1 that is rather borne with than loved2 and too often ,christians save themselves from reproach by unfaithfulness2 that1 alas1 has been my sin and shame4 ,in all my friendships with worldlings1 some of which have been tender1 how unfaithful have ,i been to friendship's highest office4 ,how seldom have ,i endeavored to rescue my friend from sin and ,satan1 by leading her to the ,friend of sinners1 the source of happiness4 ,contenting my vile1 selfish heart1 with things pertaining to this life unconnected with that to come1 leaving her under the influence of 'the lust of the eye1 the lust of the flesh1 and the pride of life2' without eyes to see her danger1 or friend to warn her of it2 and while she communicated with me in things common to both1 in all the good she knew1 keeping back nothing from me of all she possessed2 how often have ,i concealed my richest treasure1 without inviting her to the participation4 ,o1 faithless friend6 ,o1 ungrateful1 unfaithful--first to that gracious ,god who opened mine own eyes1 arrested ray attention1 stopped up my path1 and turned me to the way of life2 and next to my friend1 whom ,i have left to pursue that same way of death1 without attempting to lead her to this same sovereign1 merciful1 gracious ,deliverer4 ,and what withheld6 ,shame belongs to the heart governed by such motives2 fear of contempt1 reproach1 or1 at most1 the loss of a carnal friendship4 ,of three such friends1 now gone to their place1 two continued their worldly course to the last1 so far as ,i know2 for the third the ,lord provided a more faithful friend1 who became worker together with the ,spirit of ,god1 led her to the ,friend of sinners1 who has compassion on the ignorant1 and them that are out of the way1 ,by ,him she was received1 and in ,him she found life1 light1 and peace4 ,she soon outran faithless me in the heavenly race2 gently chid me for my remissness1 but continued my friend and helper4 ,ever foremost in the race1 humble and steady in faith1 she looked not back1 nor halted4 ,she has long since finished her course1 received her crown and reward of grace1 and become fruit to the account of that friend who supplied what was wanting in me4 ,i rejoice with them both1 give glory to ,god1 from whom their fruit was found1 and take shame and confusion for my part4 ,how many opportunities have ,i lost1 and from the same sinful1 shameful cause4 ,o my ,redeemer1 what can ,i say to thee8 ,words are wanting to express my loathing of that vile1 selfish cowardice4 ,didst ,thou1 who art the ,creator of heaven and earth1 the brightness of the glory of ,god1 the express image of his person1 and upholder of all things1 suffer shame1 contempt1 anguish1 death for my sake1 that thou mightest redeem me from the second death1 and purchase for me eternal life2 and do ,i shrink and turn away from the least taste of thy cup1 though the curse is extracted and a blessing infused6 ,and after all this1 art thou pacified towards me8 ,i search in vain for words to express the amazing grace4 ',as the heaven is high above the earth1 so great is his mercy towards them that fear him1 and towards vile me1 who can lay small claim to that character2 yet1 as far as the east is from the west1 so far has he removed my transgressions from him4 ,bless the ,lord1 ye his angels1 who excel in strength1 that do his commandments1 hearkening to the voice of his word4 ,bless the ,lord1 all ye his hosts1 ye ministers of his that do his pleasure2 ye ministering spirits1 sent forth to watch over and minister to them who shall be heirs of salvation4 ,,february1 #ahab4 ,dr4 ,m----4 ',behold the ,lamb of ,god1 which taketh away the sin of the world1' ,john #a3bi4 ,he dwelt chiefly on the substitution of the victim in the room of the transgressor4 ,when a victim was offered for an individual1 he was to lay his hand on the head of the animal1 by the appointment of ,god1 as a token of his faith that his sins should be transferred to the victim which suffered death in his stead1 and that his sins were forgiven and his person accepted4 ,if the victim was for the whole congregation1 then the elders1 as their representatives1 were to lay their hands upon the head of the victim1 signifying the same faith4 ,great was the subject of the plan of redemption3 ,the ,son of ,god clothed with our nature1 given and set apart as a propitiatory sacrifice1 the victim upon whom the sins of his elect were laid1 and he sacrificed in their stead4 ,the ,lamb of ,god1 which took away the sins not only of the ,jewish transgressors1 but the sins of the elect out of every nation1 kindred1 and tongue throughout the world--on this ,lamb of ,god rests my own individual hope for pardon and for acceptance4 ,i lay my own individual hand of faith on his dear head1 confess my sin1 and rely upon his sacrifice for pardon and acceptance1 through the atonement made by himself1 ,god's anointed ,priest4 ,,sabbath1 ,april1 #ahab4 ,dr4 ,romeyn4 ',yea1 and all that will live godly in ,christ ,jesus shall suffer persecution4' #b ,timothy #c3ab4 ,gone as usual2 but it came home to my heart4 ,i have not suffered persecution2 and why8 because my life has not testified sufficiently against a sinful world4 ,alas1 alas6 the world loves its own1 and ,i have been so accommodating1 to say the least1 as not to disturb it4 ',the carnal mind is enmity against ,god2 is not subject to the law of ,god1 neither indeed can be2' but the world saw little in me of that image which they hate1 and enough of assimilation to balance that little4 ,o my ,god1 my long-suffering1 sin-pardoning ,god1 thou knowest my vile cowardice2 with professors a professor of thy name1 with worldlings a seeming worldling4 ,and now the season is past1 the opportunity lost2 the time of life is arrived when the world itself expects to be abandoned4 ,no line of conduct in me will now reprove them2 they account it wise to look out for a better portion1 when the world can no longer be enjoyed2 and through the deceitfulness of their own hearts1 and the suggestions of the ever-vigilant enemy of souls1 may be hardened in sin1 by hoping to become religious in old age4 ,o1 let thy grace prevent it4 ,the sinfulness1 and ,o1 the ingratitude of my past life rise in magnitude every review ,i take of it4 ,and what can ,i say8 ,father1 forgive4 ,yes1 ,i dare say1 ,father1 forgive4 ,i dare say more1 ,thou hast forgiven4 ,this grief of heart proves that thou hast not sealed me up in impenitence4 ,thou rememberest thy covenant with me in the days of my youth1 when thou didst draw me with the cords of love and the bands of a man2 and though no language can express my baseness and my ingratitude1 through all my backsliding life1 thy covenant stands fast4 ',i remember1 and am confounded1 and will never open my mouth any more because of my shame1 now that thou art pacified towards me for all that ,i have done4 ,and ,i know that thou art the ,lord4 ,contrition dwell within this breast1 ,that ,god within this heart may rest3 ,shame and confusion flush this face1 ,and magnify this glorious grace4 ,grace be my theme while ,i have breath1 ,and on my quivering lips in death4 ,angels and fellow-sinners1 say1 ,will you not join me in this lay1 ,now1 and through heaven's eternal day8 ,blessed ,comforter1 thou seest old age upon me1 loss of memory1 and a desultory mind2 ,i cannot retain even the substance of my dear pastor's sermons4 ,i thank thee for the food and refreshment at the time1 and often after for refreshing meditations on the same subjects4 ,i commit all to thee2 keep them for me1 and feed me with these truths as thou seest ,i need4 ,o be to me memory1 judgment1 presence of mind1 for order1 regularity1 and natural powers are gone4 ,i rejoice in my dear ,saviour1 who of ,god is made unto me wisdom1 righteousness1 sanctification1 and redemption4 ,he shall perfect that which concerneth me1 and finish the work he has begun4 ,therefore ,i say1 ,all is well4 ,,communion ,,sabbath1 ,may #ag1 #ahab4 ,was much melted under a sense of indwelling sin1 and the deceitfulness of the human heart1 and of my own heart in particular4 ,i have been4 ,i think1 much in the exercise of contrition for the sins of my past life1 and exercised in watching over my words1 thoughts1 and actions2 now that the ,lord has delivered me from all necessity to care1 having every thing provided for me necessary to life and godliness3 pleasant food and clothing both for body and mind2 my dear room1 retirement1 fire1 candle1 attendance2 my precious ,bible1 and precious1 lively1 spiritual ordinances2 a faithful and beloved pastor1 who feeds me with truth3 ,i taste it1 and ,i am fed4 ,i am1 as the ,lord ,god merciful and gracious has awarded1 under the constant influence of shame and confusion for my highly aggravated transgressions3 but ,i also enjoy the full sense of pardon2 being justified by faith1 ,i have peace with ,god through our ,lord ,jesus ,christ2 and knowing that ,i have a 'great high-priest that is passed into1 the heavens1 ,jesus the ,son of ,god1' ,i am enabled to hold fast my profession1 comforted by this1 that ,i have not a high-priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of my infirmities1 but was in all points tempted as we are1 yet without sin4 ,i dare come1 not very boldly1 for ,i am under much depression1 to the throne of grace1 that ,i may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need4 ,every time is a time of need with me1 for sin still dwelleth in me4 ,i have peace with ,god through my dear ,lord and ,saviour ,jesus ,christ1 but am at constant war with myself4 ,i plead thy promise1 that thou wilt subdue my iniquities1 that sin shall not have dominion over me4 ,and now1 ,captain of salvation1 ,i renew the fight1 but it is depending upon thee to fight for me1 with me1 and in me4 ,i will set myself to watch1 but ,i shall watch in vain1 if thou keep not the avenues of my heart1 and the door of my lips4 ,o1 clothe me with thy meek and lowly spirit4 ,,sabbath1 ,july #bf1 #ahab4 ,tired of the bustle of ,rockaway1 and having some subordinate motives for returning home for a time1 ,i embraced this season in particular2 having1 in the compass of one week1 ,sabbath1 ,wednesday my birthday1 and the day set apart both by the ,general ,assembly of our church and the ,governor of our state1 for fasting1 prayer1 and humiliation1 besides lectures on the same evening4 ,i returned therefore on ,friday1 the #bdth4 ,dr4 ,r---- preached from ,psalm #bg3a1',the ,lord is my light and my salvation2 whom shall ,i fear8 the ,lord is the strength of my life2 of whom shall ,i be afraid8' ,o my ,god1 my merciful and gracious ,god1 what can ,i say of thy amazing1 distinguishing mercy to me8 ,delivered from all these fears1 and able to adopt the text fully1 ,i know of none who have more or greater cause of fear as sinners4 ,my transgressions have been of crimson and scarlet hue4 ,o my ,god1 thou knowest them1 words cannot paint them4 ,my ,saviour1 thou knowest them1 for thou baredst them2 every jot and tittle was put to thy account1 and thou didst cancel all4 ,o that garden1 that cry on the cross6 the effects were seen on thy sacred body1 but who can conceive the mysterious horror which agonized thy sacred soul8 ,but thou saidst1 ,it is finished1 and finished it is4 ,lamb of ,god1 which takest away the sins of the world1 on thy consecrated head ,i lay the hand of faith1 confess my sins1 pray for forgiveness1 and believe that ,i am forgiven4 ,july #bith1 my birthday1 and the last day of the threescore years and ten of my sinful life4 ,what an1 exhibition will that day produce1 when the secrets of all hearts will be laid open1 all my actions and all the springs of them4 ,in all the myriads which shall appear at the bar of ,god1 will there be such a sinner--taking into view the early grace manifested8 ,born1 ,i think1 about the seventeenth year of my natural life2 previously instructed in the doctrines and precepts of the ,scriptures1 as far as the natural mind can conceive1 by pious parents and a faithful pastor2 with milk provided for my spiritual infancy1 and richer food set before me for my growth2 the leaves of the new covenant were opened to my view1 and the fulness treasured in ,christ for my supply1 to be asked1 to be delighted in2 and delighted ,i was1 and satisfied4 ,but ,oh1 ,i forsook the fountain of living waters1 and hewed out broken cisterns1 that could hold no water4 ,where can language be found to depict my ingratitude1 my madness1 my folly2 and where to describe the long-suffering1 the compassionate remonstrances1 the kindly1 fatherly chastisements1 the repeated pardons and restorations of my gracious ,god in days of youth--aggravating my renewed backslidings1 bringing upon my sinful soul vengeance for my inventions8 ,what were the sins of ,israel and ,judah to mine8 ,mine were committed after the great atonement was made2 the adorable ,high-priest1 ,jesus1 had with his own blood entered within the veil1 and was set on the right hand of the throne of the ,majesty of the heavens3 the minister of the sanctuary1 and of the true tabernacle1 which the ,lord pitched1 and not man4 ,the new covenant was exhibited1 established on better promises1 himself the ,mediator4 ,the new and living way was consecrated to the holiest of all by the blood of ,jesus2 a throne of grace was established1 ,jesus himself our ,advocate and ,intercessor4 ,we are now privileged to come boldly to a throne of grace1 that we may find grace to help in the time of need4 ,o how aggravated my sin above theirs1 having such great and precious privileges and promises1 and a ,high-priest who can be touched with the feeling of our infirmities1 who was in all points tempted as we are2 who owns us as his brethren and sisters1 yea1 the very members of his body1 and his ,spirit dwelleth in us4 ,i set apart the day for fasting and deep humiliation2 took another survey of my past sinful life2 confessed particulars on my knees1 and made a fresh application to the blood of sprinkling which cleanseth from all sin2 took a fresh hold of his new covenant of promise4 ',this is the covenant that ,i will make with them after those days1 saith the ,lord2 ,i will put my laws in their hearts1 and in their minds will ,i write them1 and their sins and their iniquities will ,i remember no more4' ,lord1 do as thou hast said4 ,i rest my immortal soul on thy promise4 ,,july #cj1 #ahab4 ,the day set apart by the ,general ,assembly and ,state ,legislature for fasting and humiliation1 confession of sin and prayer4 ,our pastor read the second chapter of ,jeremiah1 a great portion of which belongs to my own character as an individual2 and is laid up as part of that provision which is to support me through the last stage in the wilderness1 and through ,jordan1 over which ,i must shortly pass2 laid in as a proof of the amazing long-suffering of ,god1 and his readiness to forgive even the vile backslider in heart and life1 as proclaimed in chapter three4 ,,sabbath1 ,,nov4 #bb4 ',turn ye to the strong-hold1 ye prisoners of hope4' ,zech4 #i3ab4 ,my ,jesus--my hope1 my stronghold1 my safety1 my ,saviour1 my portion1 my life1 my happiness--yes1 my happiness1 for safe ,i am and happy1 though sometimes in heaviness1 for yet sin dwelleth in me1 and in others dear as my own soul2 and though ,i know it is pardoned1 and provision made for pardon to the end1 yet1 ,o it is bitter1 and bitter let it be4 ,i would not have it otherwise4 ,heal my depravity1 ,o ,god2 take sin out of this heart2 ,o fill it with love to thee1 and to all my fellow-sinners4 ,my dear ,high-priest1 it can be but a little further to ,jordan4 ,my seventy years are run4 ,does not the ark of the covenant appear1 going before me8 am ,i not called to decamp and follow after8 ,o my blessed1 blessed ,high-priest1 keep my eye fixed on thy person1 and let me the little further follow thee step by step1 foot after foot1 without losing one mark all the way to ,jordan2 and there let me see thee4 ,blessed ark of the covenant1 roll back the waters of terror1 stand firm in ,jordan1 and bid me come unto thee1 and set up the stones of memorial in a song of praise in the midst of ,jordan4 ,o then thy glory let me see1 ,then cause thy face to shine on me1 ,and tune my heart1 and tune my voice1 ,and language furnish to rejoice1 ,that all around may lend their tongue1 ,and sweetly join my dying song4 ,,sabbath1 ,december #h1 #ahab4 ',though ,i walk in the midst of trouble1 thou wilt revive me3 thou shalt stretch forth thy hand against mine enemies1 and thy right hand shall save me4' ',the ,lord will perfect that which concerns me3 thy mercy1 ,o ,lord1 endureth for ever3 forsake not the works of thine own hands4' ,psalm #ach3g1 #h4 ,i will no longer mourn over loss of memory2 ,i think the ,lord has more than made it up to me by his sensible presence while hearing and applying the sermon to my heart at the time2 not only so1 he enlightens my understanding2 it opens more to the elucidations of my pastor2 and though ,i forget the words and the order of his discourses1 ,i am instructed in the knowledge of the subject and the ,scriptures in general4 ,shall ,i deny the grace of ,god through fear or pride8 ,i see it not to be my duty4 ,can ,i attribute any thing to myself8 ,no2 shame and confusion of face belong to me1 for my carelessness and idleness in the use of means during health and strength of body and mind4 ,never has ,god dealt with me as ,i sinned1 but according to his own mercy1 and in a way of great sovereignty4 ,let me record his great goodness1 his tender mercies1 and bless his name4 ,old age is upon me1 and some of its infirmities2 my memory is much impaired1 and my mind in temporal things and subjects becomes very desultory4 ,not so in spirituals3 ,i think ,i not only hear and read with more intense attention and prompt application1 but my mind is more disposed to meditation2 and though ,i cannot remember much of the sermons ,i hear1 yet my mind is often furnished with happy and profitable thoughts on the same subjects2 and ,i find myself instructed without remembering the instructions4 ,this is evidently from the ,lord4 ,it appears to me also that ,i have not lost the sensibility of youth4 ,i often shed tears1 not only of compunction1 but of gratitude4 ,i seldom commune without tears4 ,i think much of death2 am solemnized1 but not afraid4 ,as far as ,i know1 my confidence rests upon a surety-righteousness1 exclusive of every thing in myself4 ,i am not conscious of self-righteousness2 ,i have no complacency in any thing ever done by me4 ,i not only believe that in all things ,i come short1 and that sin is mixed in all ,i do1 because ,god hath said so1 but am sensible of the particular depravity4 ,it is my sincere desire to be stript of every thing that is mine--sins and duties laid in one heap--and to be clothed in the surety-righteousness of my ,redeemer2 all that is mine put to his account1 and all that he did and suffered1 as the ,mediator and surety of the covenant1 to mine4 ,i am afflicted with rheumatism1 but ,god gives me patience1 disposes me to enumerate my many remaining mercies--eyes to read his word and ears to hear it preached2 hitherto such moderation of pain as very often to be able to attend with fixedness4 ,i have my room at my own command1 candle1 fire1 and attendance2 and ,o1 bless the ,lord1 my soul1 much of his sensible presence4 ,in the night when my aches prevent me from sleeping1 he gives me some sweet hymn2 ,i sing1 my pain is diverted1 while my heart is melted and warmed under the expressions1 and ,i often drop asleep with the words on my tongue4 ,i am convinced that the provision ,i have laid in for my last journey in the wilderness and through ,jordan1 is selected by the influence of the ,holy ,ghost4 ,he takes of the things of ,christ and shows them unto me2 and while he keeps upon my mind my meanness1 my vileness1 wrings my heart with the retrospect of my backslidings and highly aggravated transgressions1 he opens at the same time the leaves of the ,new ,testament and shows me my deliverance from punishment1 the redemption of my soul1 and my translation into the kingdom of ,god's dear ,son3 ,i weep and rejoice2 ,i loathe myself1 and clasping my ,saviour to my heart1 am at a loss for words to express how precious he is to my saved soul4 ,jesus1 ,i love thy charming name1 ',tis music to my ear2 ,fain would ,i sound it out so loud ,that heaven and earth should hear4 ,yes1 thou art precious to my soul1 ,my transport and my trust1 ,my ,saviour1 ,shepherd1 ,husband1 ,friend1 ,no other good ,i boast4 ,all my capacious powers can wish1 ,in thee doth richly meet2 ,not to mine eyes is light so dear4 ,nor friendship's self so sweet4 ,thy grace shall dwell upon my heart ,and shed its fragrance there1 ,the noblest balm of all my wounds1 ,and cordial of my care4 ,i'll speak the honors of thy name ,while ,i have life and breath2 ,then1 speechless1 clasp thee in my arms1 ,the antidote of death4' ,dr4 ,m---- preached in the evening from ,eph4 #c3cj3 ',for we are members of his body1 of his flesh1 and of his bones4' ,it was a rich sermon2 ,i enjoyed it at the time1 but cannot recall it4 ,blessed ,spirit1 keep it for me1 and feed me with the substance of it1 as ,i stand in need4 ,accept of my thanks1 blessed ,jesus2 that through thy meritorious life and death1 ,i have an interest in the great whole4 ,accept of my thanks1 blessed ,spirit1 for thus taking the things of ,christ and showing them unto me4 ,and accept of my thanks1 ,father of mercies1 for the gift of thy ,son1 and all these blessings in him4 ',blessed be the ,god and ,father of our ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places1 in ,christ ,jesus4' ,amen4 ,,greenwich1 ,sabbath4 ,heard ,dr4 ,milledoler preach in the state prison to the convicts1 from ,luke #ai3aj3 ',for the ,son of man is come to seek and save that which was lost4' ,he addressed them as fellow-sinners1 all being by nature lost and dependent on the same means for recovery4 ,true1 my heart accords4 ,o ,lord1 thou knowest ,i stand in my own estimation a sinner1 the chief of sinners4 ,these have added to their sin against thee1 breach against men1 and are suffering the penalty4 ,my sins have been chiefly1 though far from exclusively1 against ,god1 and with many aggravations4 ,that ,i was born in a ,christian land1 of pious parents1 who gave me religious instructions2 brought up under faithful1 lively ministers1 and in religious society2 exposed to few temptations but what arose from the corruptions of my own heart1 are aggravations1 which1 perhaps1 many are mourning over1 as heightening the sin of unbelief in their unregenerated state4 ,but the aggravations--the painful remembrance of which mars my comfort and covers me with shame and confusion even now1 though ,i know that ,god is pacified with me--are as far above these as the heavens are above the earth4 ,for in that ,christian land1 under those ,christian parents and faithful pastors1 while yet young and tender1 ,i was enlightened1 tasted of the heavenly gift1 was made a partaker of the ,holy ,ghost1 tasted of the good word of ,god and the power of the world to come4 ,i was taken from the fearful pit and miry clay2 my feet set upon the rock1 and a new song put into my mouth1 even to the amount of1 ,o death1 where is thy sting8--of redeeming love1 pardoning grace1 new covenant mercy1 ,i had 'joy and peace in believing1' ,but forgetting my natural character1 the extreme volatility of my spirits1 my taste for gayety2 forgetting the danger of smothering the heavenly spark by indulging to the utmost bound of lawful pleasure2 forgetting my continual need of fresh supplies of grace to preserve and feed that new life which could not live on earthly food2 forgetting the deceitfulness of my heart1 the injunctions of my ,bible1 ,i became cold1 negligent in the use of means1 distant in prayer1 lost enjoyment1 and my heart1 naturally carnal and madly fond of pleasure1 got entangled4 ',the lust of the flesh1 the lust of the eye1 and the pride of life' regained their power2 other loves usurped the place of that ,beloved who had bought me with his blood1 and betrothed me to himself2 'that which came into my mind was1 that ,i would be as the families of the countries1 to serve wood and stone4' ,blessed be his name1 he said1 ',it shall not be4' ,he brought me into the wilderness and pleaded with me1 caused me to pass under the rod1 brought me again into the bond of the covenant4 ,o how often hast thou wrought with me1 for thy name's sake4 ,one self-willed step brought with it a train of consequences dangerous to spiritual life1 filling even the path of duty with pits and snares1 cutting me off from ordinances1 pastor1 parents1 church1 country1 and ,christian society2 placing me at the same time in the midst of carnal delights2 and every thing in my natural temper and dispositions was congenial to them4 ,what saved me8 ,what in heaven or earth could save me1 but thy covenant8 ,truly thy covenant standeth fast2 therefore ,i was not lost in the vortex4 ,but 'the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 and abundant in goodness and truth1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin1' kept his eye upon me2 many a time did he stop up my path4 ,o from how many delusions of my own seeking2 how many snares and nets of my own weaving2 how many pits of my own digging1 hast thou delivered me1 when wandering1 bewildered1 on temptation's ground1 in the cloudy dark day4 ,how often hast thou sought me out2 how often bound me up when broken1 strengthened me when sick1 and fed me with judgment1 and very1 very often1 thou madest thyself known to me4 ,i knew thy hand when it shook the rod1 when it arrested me on some mad career4 ,i knew thy hedge1 thy bar2 saw not only escapes1 but my ,deliverer3 often paused1 turned1 and took fast hold of thy covenant4 ,i had no afflictions in those days1 but every pleasure lawful to be enjoyed1 and natural to the heart of woman2 but no pastor1 no church1 no ,christian society2 yet ,god was there1 my ,bible1 my ,doddridge1 and other good books4 ,and to my shame and confusion this day1 he was not1 in the midst of all my idolatry1 a barren wilderness1 nor a land of drought to me4 ,i had many ,sabbaths2 literally the ,sabbath was a sign between my covenant ,god and me3 ill spent it often was1 but not with company2 it was spent in retirement4 ,the ,lord did not leave me so far as to give up the ,sabbath to the world4 ,though my heart was incrusted1 and spiritual life scarcely discernible1 sometimes the ,lord met me1 and strange to tell1 not with threatenings causing terror1 but with compunction1 melting1 turning1 and ere the day was over1 manifestations of pardon1 though not joy2 for ,i was grieved at my ingratitude4 ,i did expect affliction long before it came1 and my presumptuous heart calculated upon the fruit being the peaceable fruit of righteousness1 and to take away sin2 but still ,i held my way1 gadding about1 drinking the waters of ,sihor and the rivers of ,syria1 and eating the worldling's dainties4 ,oh1 ,oh1 at last it came2 yes1 it came4 ,thou didst cut off the desire of my eyes with a stroke1 and with that made the world a blank to me4 ,but ,o the stately steps of thy providential mercy previous to that trying hour4 ,o my ,god1 ,i must ever wonder and stand amazed at thy exuberant grace4 ,in consistence with thy covenant1 thou mightest have struck me among these worldlings1 in that dry and barren land1 where not one tongue could speak the language of ,canaan1 nor bring forth from thy precious ,bible the words of consolation to my wounded and bereaved spirit2 richly had ,i merited this2 but never1 no1 never hast thou dealt with me as ,i sinned4 ,through the whole of my life1 from the time that the ,lord called me out of darkness into his marvellous light--from the time that he first led me to the ,saviour1 and enabled me to take hold of his covenant1 wanderer1 backslider1 transgressor1 rebel1 idolater1 ingrate1 and if there be any name more expressively vile and abominable1 that is mine4 ,and from the hour of my birth1 through the whole of this refractory perverse life1 'the ,lord1 the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 abundant in goodness and truth1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin1' has been1 and now is1 thy name to me4 ,no1 ye strong-built walls1 ye grated windows1 ye gloomy cells1 ye confine no such sinner as ,i4 ,and did the ,lord take vengeance on my inventions8 ,o no1 mercy preceded1 mercy accompanied judgment2 yea1 it was all mercy1 not vengeance4 ,he brought me and my idol out of that barren land1 placed us under the breath of prayer1 among a dear little society of ,methodists2 he laid us upon their spirits1 and when the messenger ,death was sent for my beloved1 the breath of prayer ascended from his bedside1 from their little meeting1 and ,i believe from their families and closets4 ,the ,god of mercy prepared their hearts to pray1 and his ear to hear1 and the answer did not tarry4 ,behold1 my husband prayeth2 confesses sin2 applies to the ,saviour2 pleads for forgiveness for his sake2 receives comfort2 blesses ,god for ,jesus ,christ1 and dies with these words on his tongue1 ',i hold fast by the ,saviour1' ,behold another wonder2 the idolatress in an ecstasy of joy4 ,she who never could realize a separation for one single minute during his life1 now resigns her heart's treasure with praise and thanksgiving4 ,o the joy of that hour2 its savor remains on my heart to this moment4 ,for five days and nights ,i had been little off my knees3 it was my ordinary posture at his bedside1 and in all that time ,i had but once requested life4 ,surely the spirit of prayer and supplication was poured out4 ,the ,spirit helped mine infirmities with groanings which could not be uttered1 leading me to pray for that which ,god had determined to bestow2 making intercession for my husband1 according to the will of ,god4 ,o sing unto the ,lord a new song1 for he hath done marvellous things4 ,his right hand and his holy arm hath gotten him the victory4 ,the ,lord hath made known his salvation4 ,his righteousness hath he openly shown in the sight of the heathen4 ,he hath remembered his mercy and his truth toward the house of ,israel4 ,all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our ,god4 ,psalm #ih4 ,,friday1 ,december4 ,sermon from ,john #d3aj3 ',if thou knewest the gift of ,god1 and who it is that saith1 ,give me to drink1 thou wouldest have asked of him1 and he would have given thee living water1' ,this is part of my provision laid in for my passage through ,jordan4 ,christ is the gift of ,god4 ,christ is the water of life2 he is this living water1 and the bread of life given2 given by ,god1 received by the sinner4 ,life and comfort are experienced1 and fruit produced is the evidence2 but first of all1 this gift must be known1 and the soul's need must be known2 ,christ1 the anointed prophet1 taught this woman both1 and no other could4 ',search me1 ,o ,lord1 and try me4' ,hast thou not taught my soul its miserable and ruined state by nature2 its helplessness as well as misery8 ,hast thou not also brought me to this living1 life-giving water8 ,oh1 hast thou not given me faith to come1 faith to drink2 and have ,i not experienced its solacing quality8 ,has it not satisfied my soul1 and in some degree allayed my thirst for carnal delights8 ,blessed ,spirit1 the gift of the ,father and of the ,son1 pour into my soul repeated draughts of this living water2 yea1 be in me1 according to my ,redeemer's promise1 a well of water springing up to eternal life1 and cause me to bring forth fruit to the glory of the ,father4 ',other foundation can no man lay1 than that which is laid1 ,christ ,jesus4' ,do ,i1 ,o my ,god1 seek for or desire any other foundation8 ,are not all my hopes for time and eternity built on this foundation8 ,is not ,christ all my salvation and all my desire8 ,do ,i not embrace thy covenant just as it is1 believing that thou givest unto me eternal life1 and that this life is in thy ,son1 whom thou hast given 'to be a covenant of the people4' ,iniquities prevail against me2 but thou wilt not only purge them away1 but wilt subdue them4 ,sin shall not have dominion over me1 for ,i am not tinder the law1 but under grace4 ,to ,miss ,walker1 ,edinburgh4 ,,new ,,york1 #ahab4 ,my dear ,miss ,walker1 ,i think1 is in my debt2 but that is no reason why ,i may not inquire after her health and welfare1 and through her1 of that of her brother1 sister1 and other dear friends yet in their pilgrimage4 ,my dear1 dear ,mrs4 ,walker lives in my affections1 and surely what concerns her children can never be to me a matter of indifference4 ,your dear brother's persevering kindness and tried friendship have written gratitude in indelible characters on my heart4 ',a friend in need is a friend indeed2' and such was he4 ,i trust the ,lord has rewarded and will reward him4 ,i have still in my possession many dear remembrances of your worthy mother2 her sensible1 pious letters1 some of which have proved prophetic1 are among my treasures4 ,what a lovely group presses upon my memory at this moment1 united to ,jesus and to one another on earth1 and the union is now perfected in heaven4 ,your dear mother1 ,mrs4 ,brown1 dear ,mrs4 ,randall1 and ,lady ,glenorchy1 all zealous for the welfare of the widow and orphans1 whose way lay peculiarly through ,vanity ,fair1 and whose spirits were too much assimilated to the wares there exhibited1 and most unworthy of all the care and pains they bestowed upon her4 ,tell my then dear pastor the pilgrim is not lost2 he will find her in the #ahth chapter of ,ezekiel3 he may remember that he and dear ,doctor ,erskine gave me over to the ,lord when leaving ,edinburgh4 ,well has he kept the charge1 though ,i have not my part1 after all the chastisements and charges received4 ,but he is 'the ,lord1 the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 and abundant in goodness and truth1 keeping mercy for thousands1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin4' ,i am now a happy ,mary1 enjoying the full sense of pardon and the light of his countenance in the meantime1 and the full prospect of being soon with him1 made like him1 and capacitated to praise him4 ,i4 ,,graham4 ,,sabbath1 ,january #ah4 ,dr4 ,r----4 ',by grace ye are saved through faith2 and that not of yourselves3 it is the gift of ,god4' ,all is of grace1 all is free gift1 or we wicked1 wretched sinners1 could have no interest in it4 ,thanks be unto ,god for his unspeakable gift of ,jesus ,christ1 given for a covenant of the people4 ,thanks be unto ,god for the gift of faith1 by which we apprehend this covenant1 and become interested in him1 as the salvation of our souls4 ,thanks be unto ,god for life to work2 for new principles and new motives1 new desires1 new hopes1 new fears1 and1 in some measure1 new conduct4 ,all of grace1 and to the ,god of grace be all the glory4 ,afternoon4 ',let not the wise man glory in his wisdom1 neither let the mighty man glory in his might2 let not the rich man glory in his riches3 but let him that glorieth1 glory in this1 that he understandeth and knoweth me2 that ,i am the ,lord which exercise righteousness1 loving-kindness1 and judgment in the earth3 for in these things ,i delight1 saith the ,lord4' ,jer4 #i3bc4 ,o ,lord1 hast thou not taught me by thy word1 by observation1 and by experience1 that 'all flesh is grass1 and all the glory of man as the flower of grass8' ,alas1 how much have ,i gloried in even more worthless and transient things2 but thou hast put a worm in them1 which ,i hope has cut the roots1 and they are in a dying state4 ,o let grace supplant them2 let me now glory only in thee and thy blessed1 gracious1 and well-ordered covenant4 ,do ,i understand and know thee1 that thou art the ,lord which exerciseth righteousness1 loving-kindness1 and judgment in the earth8 ,dare ,i say that ,i1 worm as ,i am1 and a sinful worm1 am the subject of this loving-kindness1 through the righteousness of ,christ8 ,yes1 ,i dare1 by the constitution of thine own covenant--the ,covenant of the people1 the ,mediator1 the guarantee of the covenant of grace1 which is all summed up in him4 ,when thou givest ,christ1 thou givest freely all the blessings of the new covenant4 ',and this is the record1 ,that ,god hath given to us eternal life1 and this life is in his ,son4' ,i believe the record1 and do understand and know that thou art the ,lord1 etc4 ,,february #d1 #ahac4 ,my dear grandchildren ,j4 and ,i4 ,b---- waited on their beloved pastor ,dr4 ,romeyn1 and professed their faith in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ as the ,saviour of sinners and their ,saviour1 their desire to give themselves to the ,lord and to his church1 and to be in all things governed by it2 to receive the seal of the covenant of grace1 commemorate the dying love of their ,redeemer the next opportunity1 and swear allegiance to him over the symbols of his body and blood4 ,glory to ,god for this fresh manifestation of his mercy and grace to sinners4 ,not unto us1 ,o ,lord ,god1 but to thy name be the glory4 ,thou hast made a covenant with thy chosen1 and with believers in him2 and thou hast1 by thy ,holy ,spirit1 drawn them to take hold of this thy own covenant1 and to give themselves to thee to be made the subjects of it4 ,and now1 ,o ,lord1 remember thy own covenant1 and do as thou hast said3 ,put thy laws in their minds1 and write them in their hearts1 and be unto them a ,god1 and they shall be unto thee a people2 be merciful to their unrighteousness1 and their sins and their iniquities remember no more4 ,give them understanding to know and believe thy laws1 memories to retain them1 hearts to love them1 consciences to recognize them1 courage to profess and power to put in practice4 ,o1 grant that the whole habit and frame of their souls may be a table and transcript of thy law4 ,blessed ,redeemer1 gather these lambs in thy arms and carry them in thy bosom4 ,o1 seal them with the ,holy ,spirit of promise4 ,they look forward to that feast of love which thou didst institute in that same night in which thou wast betrayed into the hands of sinners4 ,if it may please thee1 manifest thyself to them as thou dost not unto the world4 ,blessed ,shepherd1 call these lambs by name2 may they know thy voice1 rejoice to hear it1 and follow thee4 ,in all the preparatory exercises speak to their hearts and commune with them in secret4 ,o give them some love-tokens1 which they may never forget2 and make thyself known to them in the breaking of bread4 ,exercise their parents with thankfulness and gratitude1 and thine aged servant1 to whom1 in an especial manner1 belong 'shame and confusion of face1' while she stands amazed at the stately steps of thy free1 sovereign mercy and grace to her1 and to her children according to the flesh4 ,husband of the widow1 ,father of the fatherless1 ,shield of the stranger1 glorify thy name1 magnify thy grace3 all these thou hast been to me2 give these parents deep humility1 if they have received grace to be more faithful than ,i2 yet thy holy eye has seen much shortcoming in them also4 ,glory to thy name for the grace in which they stand1 and that thou hast enabled them to train up these children for thee4 ,oh1 let this be a heart-searching time with us all2 humble us1 and exalt thy name1 and magnify thy grace4 ,o ,lord1 my covenant ,god1 all my desire is before thee2 is it not that thou magnify thy grace in me and in my family8 ,there are others1 ,lord1 and the residue of the ,spirit is with thee4 ,put forth thy power in the heart of ,i4,g4 ,s----1 and compel him to come in4 ,and ,oh1 my dear ,i4 ,s---- and her family2 thou biddest me open my mouth wide4 ,lord1 see1 there is much for thee to do4 ,i praise thy name for what thou hast done1 and lay me at thy feet waiting for further manifestations of thy mercy1 thy sovereign mercy3 ,i have no other plea4 ,work with us1 for thy name's sake1 and with ,j4 ,m----1 for whom my worthless prayers have been presented to thee1 as also a member of this family4 ,o ,lord1 he is now gone out into the world2 he is no longer under the control of man2 bring him under thy gracious control2 call him into thy kingdom of grace1 and make him a willing subject in the day of thy power4 ,father1 glorify thy name4 ,,april1 ,sabbath1 #ahac4 ',wherefore1 laying aside all malice1 and all guile1 and hypocrisies1 and envyings1 and all evil speaking1 as new-born babes desire the sincere milk of the word1 that ye may grow thereby4' #b ,peter1 #b3a1 #b4 ,blessed ,spirit1 thou hast convinced me of the indwelling of every one of these1 and also of my helplessness of myself to make successful war against them4 ,but ,oh1 hast thou not led me to the ,captain of salvation for armor1 for strength1 for wisdom1 for power2 and is not my dependence for success on thy promise that sin shall not have dominion over me2 that thy grace is sufficient for me2 that as my day1 so shall my strength be8 ,,may #e4 ',therefore being justified by faith1 we have peace with ,god1 through our ,lord ,jesus ,christ4' ,rom4 #e3a4 ,blessed1 blessed1 blessed doctrine2 by no other doctrine can ,i be justified and saved4 ,christ the gift of ,god1 and faith the gift of ,god4 ,all1 all is of grace4 ,i have shut my door1 desiring to commune with ,god1 but feeling dull and lifeless1 ask what shall ,i read8 ,my ,bible lies just at hand2 where shall ,i read8 every part is good4 ,i open and find it marked3 ',my prayer is unto thee1 ,o ,lord1 in an acceptable time2 ,o ,god1 in the multitude of thy mercy hear me1 in the truth of thy salvation4' ,psalm #fi3ac4 ,in an acceptable time--when8 ',to-day if ye will hear his voice4' ,nevertheless1 ,i am continually with thee2 thou holdest me by my right hand1 and ever upholdest me1 in the time of need especially4 ',in the multitude of thy mercy hear me1 in the truth of thy salvation4' ,what is the truth of ,god's salvation8 ,to be the property of ,christ by purchase1 to have ,christ made our property by the ,father's gift2 to have the ,holy ,spirit sent into our hearts1 to enlighten our understandings1 to govern our wills1 to regulate our affections and tempers1 and to be in us 'a well of water springing up into everlasting life4' ,father1 ,son1 and ,holy ,spirit1 ours by gift and by power2 this4 ,oh1 this contains all my asking for myself1 for my children and children's children1 for nay friends and all dear to me4 ,take us1 ,o ,lord1 and in 'the truth of thy salvation' give thyself to us2 do all the needful for us1 and glorify thy name4 ,,sabbath4 ',a certain man made a great supper1 and bade many1 and sent his servants at supper-time to say to them that were bidden1 ,come1 for all things are ready4 ,and they all1 with one consent1 began to make excuse4' ,luke #ad3af4 ,alas1 such are our hearts1 that we make idols even of the blessings and bounties of providence2 no room is left for ,christ1 though without him every temporal good is under a curse1 and our own persons also4 ,o ,lord1 bless the gracious invitations given to perishing sinners this day2 the pathetic and tender remonstrances of thy faithful servant4 ,o1 may many of the poor1 the maimed1 the halt1 the blind1 from the streets and lanes of the city1 and may many from the highways and hedges1 be compelled to come1 that thy house may be filled4 ,and ,oh1 my gracious ,father1 let these careless ones1 who are my flesh and blood1 be among the number4 ,hear1 ,o hear the prayers offered this day for poor1 self-deluded1 self-destroying sinners2 awaken them1 ,o ,lord1 and sweep away all lying refuges1 and1 gracious ,god1 settle and establish these halters4 ,o bring to the birth1 and give life and love and zeal to make a full profession to the glory of thy powerful grace1 and to the joy and comfort of fellow-members4 ,let thy kingdom come4 ,,greenwich1 ,june #aa1 #ahac4 ,in my large light closet1 within my airy1 comfortable room2 the prospect from my windows such as ,i have ever delighted in1 woods and water1 flower-garden and fruit-trees1 and beautiful shrubs of various kinds1 all as much mine as if my own individual property by the laws of the land in which ,i live2 surrounded with books1 and my children's rich library at my command2 enjoying rich gospel ordinances1 under a godly1 gifted pastor1 with pious1 loving1 sensible church-members2 a carriage to convey me1 ,sabbath and week-days1 to places of worship2 children whose desire is that ,i may enjoy all these to the full without care or trouble1 they caring for me2 with all these a large measure of health1 my eyes see my teachers1 my ears hear their voice4 ,why then these tears8 ,are they all for sin8 ,lord1 search and see4 ,does no wounded pride1 no selfish hurt mix8 ,ah1 ,lord1 thou knowest4 ,i have detected much1 and mourn and weep on that account2 but ,i fear there is yet much lurking and working that ,i know not4 ,i have set apart the remainder of this day for fasting and humiliation on account of past sins which ,i already know1 and for yet further search into what ,i know not of at present4 ,lord1 give me heart-searching exercises4 ,glory1 glory1 glory to ,father1 ,son1 and blessed ,comforter1 that ,i am forgiven2 thy ,spirit witnesseth with my spirit that ,i am forgiven4 ,thou hast given me faith in the truth of thy testimony1 that the blood of ,christ cleanseth from all sin--that this is thy own provision for sinners--that ,christ died for the ungodly--that while we were yet sinners1 ,christ died for us--that ,christ hath loved us1 and given himself for us--that ',god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten ,son1 that whosoever believeth in him should not perish1 but have everlasting life4' ,these last words came from thy own lips of flesh4 ,thou gift of ,god to a perishing world1 and to me1 one of the most guilty in it1 thou also saidst1 ',he that believeth on the ,son hath everlasting life4' ,thy ,spirit witnesseth with my spirit1 that to me it is given on the behalf of ,christ to believe in him4 ,phil4 #a3bi4 ,therefore ,i have everlasting life4 ,him who was slain and hanged on a tree1 ',him hath ,god exalted to be a ,prince and a ,saviour1 for to give repentance and remission of sins4' ,from this exalted ,prince ,i have repentance and forgiveness of sin1 and therefore ,i dare look at my sins3 ,i look with grief1 but not with terror4 ,though forgiven1 and though provision is made for forgiveness1 sin is still an evil and a bitter thing4 ,this day is set apart for mourning4 ,i desire to search1 to know more of my vileness1 that ,i may mourn yet more2 that while my heart is wrung for my ingratitude1 the ,lord may make it the means of crucifying my sins1 especially that which so easily besets me1 that he will give me the prayer of faith that they may be forgiven1 and that ,i may be delivered from their power in my heart2 that ,i may be clothed with humility1 so humble that nothing can hurt me1 wearing my ,redeemer's yoke1 leaning upon him who was 'meek and lowly1' that ,i may find rest to my soul4 ,now1 ,lord1 assist me for the rest of the day and let to-morrow be the beginning of days4 ,ten o'clock at night4 ,the day is spent1 and ,i look for the blessing4 ,it has not been spent so much in my usual way of retracing1 confessing1 and bewailing1 but with ,owen on the subject of indwelling sin1 of purification and the1 means appointed by ,god4 ,the blood of ,christ is the only effectual means not only as atonement for sin1 setting us free from condemnation1 but also for cleansing1 as sprinkled on the conscience by the ,holy ,ghost1 and purging it from dead works4 ,there are means in which we are to exercise ourselves1 depending on the ,spirit for benefit4 ,we are to work in the faith that ,god works in us4 ,mortification is one means1 and though the mortification of the body is perhaps one of the lowest1 ,i think it is of divine appointment1 therefore not to be neglected4 ,i have been also studying the death of ,christ1 and his previous sufferings2 the unbelief1 the opposition1 contradiction1 contempt1 and cruel mocking which he endured2 and his meekness1 patience1 and submission under them2 healing ,malchus' ear1 praying for his murderers2 that1 as the children of ,israel were healed by looking to the brazen serpent1 ,i may be healed by looking unto the uplifted ,jesus2 the ,spirit producing the effect4 ,and as the woman with the bloody issue was healed by a touch1 exercising faith in the power of ,christ1 so ,i may be healed by a look1 exercising the same faith1 the ,spirit producing the effect of conformity to his example1 working in me that meek and lowly spirit for which ,i have been praying4 ,and now1 by grace communicated1 ,i hope to watch over my spirit with more success than formerly4 ,i wait for thy salvation4 ,the following letter shows how ,mrs4 ,graham persevered in her endeavors to guide and benefit immortal souls as long as ,god gave her powers to be employed4 ,to ,mrs4 ,j4 ,w----4 ,,greenwich1 #ahad4 ,did not the dove1 my dear ,j----1 get into the ark8 ,yes1 ,noah put out his hand and pulled her in2 both are types of ,christ4 ,he is the ,ark of safety from the flood of wrath that must overwhelm unbelievers4 ,i know not1 my dear1 the amount of that over which you mourn with so much agony2 ,i know not even if it be sinful1 except in the circumstances2 you are conscious of sincerity1 and you do not now wish to draw back4 ,we can1 my dear1 do nothing in our own strength2 no1 not so much as think a good thought4 ,to make any resolution without dependence on ,god for strength to perform1 is sinful2 to make any vow without a consciousness of our weakness and dependence on ,god for strength to perform1 is an aggravation of the evil4 ,i suppose my ,j---- has sinned2 what then8 ,if any man say he has no sin1 he deceives himself1 and the truth is not in him4 ,and if you suppose that your sin in this is greater than many other sins with their aggravations1 you judge wrong4 ,i think that any one deliberate sin1 wilfully committed with a knowledge that it is sin1 is greater than yours in such circumstances4 ,you are bound by your vow1 and ,god will enable you to perform it4 ,turn1 my dear1 to the second chapter of the ,acts of the ,apostles1 where ,peter preaches to the very murderers of our blessed ,saviour1 and charges the guilt upon them1 verse twenty-second2 and again in verse thirty-sixth1 ',therefore let all the house of ,israel know assuredly1 that this same ,jesus whom ye crucified1 ,god hath made both ,lord and ,christ2 and when they heard this1 they were pricked in their hearts4' ,read on1 my dear2 ,peter exhorts even them to repent and be baptized in the name of ,christ1 for the remission of sins4 ,i make no doubt but many have made vows in a rash manner2 but1 so far as ,i know1 you have vowed only to serve the ,lord2 this you are bound to do with or without a vow2 and if the ,lord makes this vow the means of keeping you watchful and humble1 and firm in avoiding what you have vowed against1 it will1 by his overruling ,spirit1 prove a blessing4 ,you 'do not know where to look for comfort6' ,to1 ,jesus1 my dear2 not to yourself1 nor to any creature4 ',look unto me and be ye saved1 all the ends of the earth3 for ,i am ,god1 and there is none else4' ,isa4 #de3bb4 ',o ,israel1 thou hast destroyed thyself1 but in me is thy help4' ,hosea #ac3i2 chap4 #ad4 ,take a view1 my dear1 of the character of ,god in his dealings with his perverse ,israel1 after they had made the molten calf1 and sinned otherwise grievously against ,god4 ,he1 at the intercession of ,moses1 forgave their sin1 and proclaimed that wonderful name1 which to this day is the encouragement of convicted sinners1 and mine in particular4 ,and the ,lord passed by him 7,moses7 and proclaimed1 ',the ,lord1 the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 abundant in goodness and truth1 keeping mercy for thousands1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin4' ,and how can ,god do this1 whose law is1 as himself1 immutable2 and who adds 'that he will by no means clear the guilty8' ,exodus #cd3f4 ,look now to the fifty-third chapter of ,isaiah1 where you will find your ,redeemer standing in your stead4 ,in the thirtieth chapter is another amazing display of ,god's forgiveness4 ,the prophet begins the chapter with1 ',woe to the rebellious children6' and lays grievous things to their charge till you come to the eighteenth verse1 where he says1 ',therefore will the ,lord wait1 that he may be gracious to you2 therefore will he be exalted1 that he may have mercy upon you2 for the ,lord is a ,god of judgment1 blessed are all they that wait for him4' ,once more look at the proclamation1 ,jeremiah #c3ab4 ,god has provided a sacrifice of sufficient value to atone for our most aggravated transgressions1 and a righteousness answerable to the uttermost extent of his holy law4 ,both are made over to the sinner by free gift4 ',he hath made him to be sin for us1 who knew no sin1 that we might be made the righteousness of ,god in him4' #b ,cor4 #e3ba4 ,in ,him--,he1 our surety1 having fulfilled all righteousness for us1 as our surety and representative4 ,you fear that it is not the hand of the ,lord that is upon you4 ,i do think that it is1 my ,j----4 ,it is the peculiar office of the ,spirit to convince of sin1 and ,i do think that he is at this time dealing with your soul4 ,but why look so much at your vow8 you have sinned1 my ,j----1 in heart1 lip1 and life4 ',thou shalt love the ,lord thy ,god with all thy heart4' ,o my ,j----1 what prostituted affections1 what misspent time4 ,while ,god says1 ',whether you eat or drink1 or whatsoever you do1 do all to the glory of ,god1' what self-indulgence and self-will1 instead of self-denial4 ,listen to the voice of convictions1 listen to it as the voice of mercy1 leading you to ,christ the great propitiatory sacrifice1 'the ,lamb of ,god1 which taketh away the sin of the world4' ,go to ,christ1 my dear1 as a sinner2 tell him you commit your sinful soul into his hands2 say1 ,thou hast bid me look unto thee and be saved4 ,saviour1 ,i do look unto thee for salvation4 ,wash me in thy blood1 clothe me in thy righteousness1 sanctify me by thy grace1 accept of me as thy pardoned1 saved child2 and be a surety for me for good1 that having vowed to thee that ,i would be thy servant1 ,i may perform my vow2 furnish me with both will and power to devote myself to thee every day of my life4 ,try1 my dear1 to rest on ,christ2 put your trust in him2 if you do he will not disappoint you2 as your faith1 so shall it be unto you4 ,now faith is a saving grace2 thereby we receive and rest upon ,christ for salvation1 as he is offered to us in the gospel4 ,do as you have said3 wait his appointed time1 in the use of means1 till he manifest himself to you4 ,i am hurried for time to get this to town4 ,farewell4 ,i will pray for you4 ,i4 ,,graham4 #ahad4 ',a day of darkness and gloominess1 a day of clouds and thick darkness1 as the morning spread upon the mountains4' ,joel #b3b4 ,not in temporals1 nor in the means of grace2 every thing that earth can afford is gathered into my present cup2 it is full and runs over with earthly good1 and a large measure of health to enjoy it4 ,moral temporals are also mine in no common degree1 friendship1 society at my choice1 and respectability in it4 ,rich means of grace within my reach1 my ,bible1 and books of every kind and great variety at my hand1 of instruction and of devotion4 ,mine eyes see my teachers1 and my judgment approves their doctrine as corresponding with that sure word of testimony given me as the test of all human writings4 ,yet it is a day of darkness and of gloom4 ',who is among you that feareth the ,lord1 that obeyeth the voice of his servant1 that walketh in darkness and hath no light8 ,let him trust in the name of the ,lord and stay upon his ,god4' ,isa4 #ej3aj4 ,to trust in the name of the ,lord and to stay myself upon my ,god is still my privilege1 and though with little life and little comfort1 my experience4 ,my mind is so desultory6 ,my ,bible1 and helps derived from men's deductions and experiences1 seem useless2 they are not blessed as means to fix my heart2 trifles of every sort pass and repass often2 while my eyes read the words1 my mind is gone in a dream on some other subject2 my heart remains unimpressed1 my mind uninformed2 the same in prayer1 especially in secret and in the family2 less so in the sanctuary4 ,i seem1 as to apprehension1 left to my own dark1 dismal1 carnal self2 naked faith on the finished work of my ,redeemer is all that supports me2 and that as a bare preventive of fear and source of a hope that ',i shall yet praise ,him who is the health of my countenance and my ,god4' ,i know his covenant stands fast1 ,i have taken hold of it2 ,i do at this cold and stupid moment place my confidence in it4 ,christ is ,god's covenant1 ,god's gift to sinners2 ,i believe it2 he is the ,lamb of ,god1 which taketh away the sin of the world2 ,i believe it2 ,i believe on the ,son for all the purposes for which ,god has sent him into the world2 therefore ,i have everlasting life2 ,i believe the record that ,god gave of his ,son2 that ,god hath given to me eternal life1 and this life is in his ,son1 not in me1 but in union with him4 ',he that hath the ,son hath life2 he that hath not the ,son1 hath not life4' ,john #e4 ,i thank thee1 my ,god1 that thou hast not left me to cast away my confidence in ,christ4 ,i have life in him1 and no life but as ,i have it from him4 ,thou seest how it is with me4 ,thou art my reconciled ,father in ,christ1 but thou hast shut me out from thy presence4 ,i do not enjoy thee2 my poor heart is tossed from trifle to trifle4 ,it has been my way through life to destroy myself1 and thy way to deliver me4 ,thou hast been very gracious to me in my old age4 ,i have enjoyed much of thy presence in thy sanctuary and in my private hours2 and although sin has dwelt and does dwell in me1 ,i have enjoyed thy forgiving grace1 and have tasted thy love1 far beyond what ,i have for weeks past4 ',search me1 ,o ,god1 and know my heart2 try me and know my thoughts2 and see if there be any wicked way in me1 and lead me in the way everlasting4' ,show me wherefore thou contendest with me4 ,am ,i living in the indulgence of any known wilful sin2 or in the habitual neglect of any known duty8 ,lord1 'it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps4' ,i know ,i have been unthankful1 unwatchful1 idle2 alas1 this is my ordinary course2 but it is not the ordinary course of my ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 to mark iniquity against me1 but to forgive me daily1 to lead me to the blood of sprinkling1 to give me contrition1 and to restore me to his favor by giving me 'joy and peace in believing4' ,help1 ,lord2 give me heart-searching exercises4 ,i read thy word1 ,i set about that to which thou callest me4 ,i set apart this day for fasting1 but the gracious exercises are not in me4 ,come1 ,o come1 and be with me4 ,exalted ,prince1 give repentance and remission2 in thy light let me see light4 ',therefore now turn ye unto me with all your heart1 with fasting1 with weeping and mourning2 rend your heart and not your garments1 turn unto the ,lord your ,god2 for he is gracious and merciful1 slow to anger1 and of great kindness1 and repenteth him of the evil4' ,joel #b3ab4 ,o1 do ,i not know thee by this name2 has it not been thy name to me throughout this wide wilderness1 'pardoning iniquity1 transgression1 and sin8' ,thou hast prepared a prayer for me1 ',turn me1 and ,i shall be turned1 for thou art the ,lord my ,god4' ,jer4 #ca3ah4 ,i look to thy new covenant in the same chapter2 it is all promise1 ,i can do nothing in it4 ,christ by thine own appointment answers for my part2 or rather1 ,i have no part4 ,i can render nothing to the ,lord for all his benefits to me4 ,i will put forth the withered hand to 'take the cup of salvation1 and call on the name of the ,lord4' ,ten o'clock4 ,the day is spent2 ,i have confessed1 and endeavored to turn to the ,lord with mourning1 but with little sensibility4 ,i attended meeting in the evening1 heard two excellent discourses on the priesthood of ,christ1 and joined in two prayers and three hymns with more fixed attention than has been my attainment lately2 for this ,i thank thee1 my ,god4 ,many have been the beginnings of days and of months which thou hast afforded after backsliding4 ,o add this to the number4 ',hear my prayer1 ,o ,lord2 give ear to my supplications2 in thy faithfulness answer me1 and in thy righteousness4 ,enter not into judgment with thy servant1 for in thy sight shall no man living be justified4' ,psalm #adc4 ,my spirit is overwhelmed within me1 my heart within me is desolate4 ,i stretch out my hands unto thee2 my soul thirsteth after thee in a thirsty land4 ,hear me speedily1 ,o ,lord2 my spirit faileth2 hide not thy face from me1 lest ,i be like unto those that go down into the pit4 ,cause me to hear thy loving-kindness in the morning1 for in thee do ,i trust2 cause me to know the way wherein ,i should walk1 for ,i lift up my soul unto thee4 ,deliver me1 ,o ,lord1 from mine enemies2 ,i flee unto thee to hide me4 ,teach me to do thy will1 for thou art my ,god4 ,thy ,spirit is good2 lead me into the land of uprightness4 ,quicken me1 ,o ,lord1 for thy name's sake2 for thy righteousness' sake bring my soul out of trouble4 ,i wait for thy salvation4 ,this heart my ,jesus bought with blood1 ,it is his honest claim2 ,o seize it1 fix it1 ,saviour ,god1 ,to give it is my aim4 ,take full possession of this heart1 ,and here set up thy throne2 ,command each idol to depart1 ,and make it all thine own4 ,o dare ,i not to thee appeal1 ,that 'tis my first desire1 ,that on this heart thou stamp thy seal ,and grave it with love's fire8 ,to fix this heart to stray no more ,i e'en would quit the clay2 ,would hasten on to ,jordan's shore1 ,and plough the watery way4 ,nor fear nor dread my soul should move1 ,with ,jesus in my heart2 ,each passion swallowed up in love1 ,i'd court the friendly dart4 ,the resurrection and the life ,in death itself he'll prove1 ,and while he closes mortal strife1 ,breathe his own life of love4 ,then boast not1 monster1 of thy sting1 ,nor of thy victory1 grave2 ,in th' arms of ,god's anointed ,king ,i dare thy fiercest brave4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,closing ,,labors ,,for ,,the ,,poor-- ,,sickness ,,and ,,death4 ,during the last two years of her life1 ,mrs4 ,graham found her strength inadequate to so extensive a course of visiting the poor as formerly2 there were some distressed families1 however1 that experienced her kind attentions to the last4 ,she would occasionally accompany the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,stanford on his visits to the state-prison1 hospital1 and to the ,magdalen house4 ,this gentleman was the stated preacher employed by the ,society for the ,support of the ,gospel among the ,poor1 and devoted his time to preaching in the almshouse1 hospital1 state-prison1 debtors'-prison1 etc41 with great assiduity and acceptance4 ,mrs4 ,graham now spent much of her time in her room1 devoted to meditation1 prayer1 and reading the ,scriptures2 she seemed to be weaning from earth and preparing for heaven4 ,prayer was that sweet breath of her soul which brought stability to her life4 ,genuine humility was obvious in all her sentiments and deportment4 ,religious friends prized her conversation1 counsel1 and friendship2 sometimes they would venture on a compliment to her superior attainments1 but always experienced a decided rebuke4 ,to her friend ,colonel ,l----1 who expressed a wish to be such a character as she was1 she quickly replied with an air of mingled pleasantry and censure1 ,get thee behind me1 ,satan4 ,to a female friend who said1 ,if ,i were only sure at last of being admitted to a place at your feet ,i should feel happy4 ,hush1 hush1 replied ,mrs4 ,graham1 ,there is ,,one ,,saviour4 ,thus she was always careful to give her divine ,redeemer the whole glory of her salvation4 ,this example of humility1 self-denial1 and sensibility to the imperfection of her conduct1 is the more to be valued1 as it is so difficult to be followed4 ,flattery is too commonly practised2 and there is no sufficient guard against its dangerous consequences1 except a constant and humbling recognition of the spirituality of the law of ,god1 and our lamentable deficiency in fulfilling it4 ,pride was not made for man3 ,i have seen an end of all perfection1 said the ,psalmist1 but thy commandment is exceeding broad4 ,it was by cherishing this sentiment1 by studying her ,bible1 by searching her heart and its motives1 and above all1 by grace accorded of heaven in answer to her prayers1 that ,mrs4 ,graham was enabled to maintain such meekness of spirit1 such an uniformity of ,christian character throughout her life4 ,may all who read her history be directed to the same sources of true peace and genuine happiness4 ,in the spring of #ahad she was requested to unite with some ladies in forming a society for the promotion of industry among the poor4 ,this was the last act in which she appeared before the public4 ,a petition1 signed by about thirty ladies1 was presented to the corporation of ,new ,york1 praying that they would assign them a building in which work might be prepared and given out to the industrious poor1 who being paid for their labor1 might be saved the necessity of begging1 and at the same time cherish habits of industry and self-respect4 ,the corporation having returned a favorable answer1 and provided a house1 a meeting of the ,society was held1 and ,mrs4 ,graham once more was called to the chair4 ,it was the last time she was to preside at the formation of a new society4 ,her articulation1 once strong and clear1 was now observed to have become more feeble4 ,the ladies present listened to her with affectionate attention2 her voice broke upon the ear as a pleasant sound that was passing away4 ,she consented to have her name inserted on the list of managers1 and to give what assistance her age would permit in forwarding so beneficent a work4 ,although it pleased ,god that she should cease from her labors before the ,house of ,industry was opened1 yet the work was carried on by others and prospered4 ,between four and five hundred women were employed and paid during the following winter4 ,the corporation declared in strong terms their approbation of the result1 and enlarged their donation1 with a view to promote the same undertaking for the succeeding winter4 ,in the month of ,may1 #ahad1 a report was received from ,mr4 ,stephen ,prust of ,bristol1 in ,england1 of the ,society for establishing ,adult-schools4 ,mrs4 ,graham was so delighted with a perusal of it1 as immediately to undertake the formation of such a school in the village of ,greenwich4 ,she called on the young people who were at work in some neighboring manufactories1 and requested them to attend her for this purpose every ,sabbath morning at eight o'clock4 ,this was kept up after her decease as a ,sunday-school1 and consisted of nearly eighty scholars4 ,she was translated from this work of faith on earth1 to engage in the sublimer work of praise in heaven4 ,for some weeks previous to her last illness she was favored with unusual health and much enjoyment of religion2 she appeared to have sweet exercises and communion in attending on all ,god's ordinances and appointed means of grace4 ,she was also greatly refreshed in spirit by the success of ,missionary and ,bible ,societies1 and used to speak with much affection of ,mr4 ,gordon1 ,mr4 ,lee1 ,mr4 ,may1 and ,dr4 ,morrison1 with whom she had been acquainted when in ,new ,york1 on their way to missionary stations in ,india and ,china4 ,mrs4 ,graham was very partial to the works of ,dr4 ,john ,owen1 ,rev4 ,william ,romaine1 and ,rev4 ,john ,newton1 and read them with pleasure and profit4 ,one day she remarked to ,mr4 ,b----1 that she preferred the ancient writers on theology to the modern1 because they dealt more in italics4 ,dear mother1 he replied1 what religion can there be in italics8 ,you know1 said she1 that old writers expected credit for the doctrines they taught1 by proving them from the word of ,god to be correct3 they inserted the scripture passages in italics1 and their works have been sometimes one-half in italics4 ,modern writers on theology1 on the contrary1 give us a long train of reasoning to persuade us to their opinions1 but very little in italics4 ,this remark of hers has great force1 and deserves the serious attention of those who write and those who read on theological subjects4 ,on the two ,sabbaths preceding her last illness she joined in communion at the ,lord's table4 ,on the #ajth of ,july1 #ahad1 at ,greenwich1 and on the #agth at her own church in ,cedar-street4 ,on each week preceding these seasons she attended three evenings on religious exercises2 on ,thursdays at the ,orphan ,asylum1 on ,friday evenings the preparation sermons1 and on ,saturday evenings at the prayer-meetings4 ,she appeared lively1 and expressed comfort in those religious seasons1 and continued actively useful until the very day on which her illness commenced4 ,on the morning of the #agth she attended the ,sabbath-school with her daughter and grandchildren4 ,thus the ,lord was pleased to direct that she should lead her children's children into the walks of usefulness before she took her flight to heaven1 and impose a pleasing obligation on them that they should follow her steps4 ,of the same date is the last meditation in her diary4 ,,communion ,,sabbath1 ,july #ag1 #ahad4 ',whom having not seen1 ye love2 in whom1 though now ye see him not1 yet believing1 ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory3 receiving the end of your faith1 even the salvation of your souls1' #a ,peter1 #a3h1 #i4 ,i had requested to be brought to my ,lord's banqueting-house1 and to be feasted with love this day4 ,i ate the bread and drank the wine1 in the faith that ,i ate the flesh and drank the blood of the ,son of man1 and dwelt in him and he in me4 ,took a close view of my familiar friend ,death1 accompanied with the presence of my ,saviour1 his sensible presence4 ,i cannot look at it without this2 it is my only petition concerning it4 ,i have had desires relative to certain circumstances1 but they are nearly gone4 ,it is my sincere desire that ,god may be glorified1 and he knows best how and by what circumstances4 ,i retain my one petition1 ,only to me thy countenance show1 ,i ask no more the ,jordan through4 ,thus she arose from her ,master's table1 was called to gird on her armor for a combat with the king of terrors1 and came off more than conqueror1 through ,him who loved her4 ,on ,monday she appeared in perfect health1 and visited and gave religious instruction to the orphans in the asylum4 ,on ,tuesday1 the #aith of ,july1 she complained of not feeling well1 and kept her room2 on ,thursday her disorder proved to be a cholera-morbus1 and her children sent for a physician4 ,she thought this attack was slighter than in former seasons4 ,on ,saturday1 however1 she requested that ,mrs4 ,chrystie might be sent for2 this alarmed ,mrs4 ,b----1 knowing there existed an understanding between those two friends1 that one should attend the dying-bed of the other1 ,mrs4 ,chrystie was a very dear friend of ,mrs4 ,graham4 ,for upwards of twenty-four years they had loved each other1 feeling reciprocal sympathy in their joys and their sorrows2 the hope of faith was the consolation of both1 and oftentimes it had been their delightful employment to interchange their expressions of affection towards ,him whom having not seen1 they loved1 and in whom1 though they saw him not1 yet believing on him1 they rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full of glory4 ,on ,mrs4 ,chrystie's entering the chamber of her friend1 ,mrs4 ,graham welcomed her with a sweet expressive smile1 seeming to say1 ,i am going to get the start of you1 ,i am called home before you2 it will be your office to fulfil our engagement4 ,when she sat by her bedside1 ,mrs4 ,graham said1 ,your face is very pleasant to me1 my friend4 ,during ,saturday night1 a lethargy appeared to be overpowering her frame4 ,on ,sabbath morning she was disposed to constant slumber2 observing ,mr4 ,b---- looking at her with agitation1 she was roused from her heaviness1 and stretching her arms towards him and embracing him1 she said1 ,my dear1 dear son1 ,i am going to leave you2 ,i am going to my ,saviour4 ,i know1 he replied1 that when you do go from us1 it will be to the ,saviour2 but1 my dear mother1 it may not be the ,lord's time now to call you to himself4 ,yes1 said she1 now is the time2 and ,oh1 ,i could weep for sin4 ,her words were accompanied with her tears4 ,have you any doubts1 then1 my dear friend8 asked ,mrs4 ,chrystie4 ,oh no1 replied ,mrs4 ,graham2 and looking at ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,b---- as they wept1 ,my dear children1 ,i have no more doubt of going to my ,saviour1 than if ,i were already in his arms2 my guilt is all transferred2 he has cancelled all ,i owed4 ,yet ,i could weep for sins against so good a ,god3 it seems to me as if there must be weeping even in heaven for sin4 ,after this she entered into conversation with her friends1 mentioning portions of scripture and favorite hymns which had been subjects of much comfort and joy to her4 ,some of these she had transcribed into a little book1 calling them her victuals prepared for crossing over ,jordan2 she committed them to memory1 and often called them to remembrance as her songs in the night when sleep had deserted her4 ,she then got ,mr4 ,b---- to read to her some of these portions1 especially the eighty-second hymn of ,newton's third book3 ,let us love1 and sing1 and wonder2 ,let us praise the ,saviour's name3 ,he has hushed the law's loud thunder1 ,he has quenched mount ,sinai's flame3 ,he has washed us with his blood1 ,he has brought us nigh to ,god1 etc4 ,mrs4 ,graham then fell asleep1 nor did she awaken until the voice of the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,mason roused her4 ,they had a very affectionate interview1 which he has partly described in the excellent sermon he delivered after her decease4 ,she expressed to him her hope as founded altogether on the redemption that is in ,jesus ,christ3 were she left to depend on the merit of the best action she had ever performed1 that would be only a source of despair4 ,she repeated to him1 as her view of salvation1 the fourth verse of the same hymn3 ,let us wonder3 grace and justice ,join1 and point at mercy's store2 ,when1 through grace1 in ,christ our trust is1 ,justice smiles and asks no more2 ,he who washed us with his blood1 ,has secured our way to ,god4 ,having asked ,dr4 ,mason to pray with her1 he inquired if there was any particular request she had to make of ,god by him2 she replied1 that ,god would direct3 then as he kneeled1 she put up her hands1 and raising her eyes towards heaven1 breathed this short but expressive petition1 ,lord1 lead thy servant in prayer4 ,after ,dr4 ,mason had taken his leave1 she again fell into a deep sleep4 ,her physicians still expressed a hope of her recovery1 as her pulse was regular and the violence of her disease had abated4 ,one of them1 however1 declared his opinion that his poor drugs would prove of little avail against her own ardent prayers to depart and be with ,christ1 which was far better for her than a return to a dying world4 ,on ,monday the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,rowan prayed with her1 and to him she expressed also the tranquillity of her mind1 and the steadfastness of her hope1 through ,christ1 of eternal felicity4 ,her lethargy increased2 at intervals from sleep she would occasionally assure her daughter1 ,mrs4 ,b----1 that all was well2 and when she could rouse herself only to say one word at a time1 that one word1 accompanied with a smile1 was1 ,peace4 ,from her there was a peculiar emphasis in this expression of the state of her mind3 ,peace ,i leave with you1 my peace ,i give unto you1 had been a favorite portion of scripture with her1 and a promise1 the fulfilment of which was her earnest prayer to the ,god who made it4 ,she also occasionally asked ,mr4 ,b---- to pray with her1 even when she could only articulate1 as she looked at him1 ,pray4 ,she was now surrounded by many of her dear ,christian friends1 who watched her dying-bed with affection and solicitude4 ,on ,tuesday afternoon she slept with little intermission4 ,this1 said ,dr4 ,mason1 may be truly called falling asleep in ,jesus4 ,it was remarked by those who attended her1 that all terror was taken away1 and that death seemed here as an entrance into life4 ,her countenance was placid1 and looked younger than before her illness4 ,at a quarter past twelve o'clock1 being the morning of the #bgth of ,july1 #ahad1 her spirit gently winged its flight from a mansion of clay to the realms of glory1 while around the precious remnant of earth her family and friends stood weeping1 yet elevated by the scene they were witnessing4 ,after a silence of many minutes1 they kneeled by her bed1 adored the goodness and the grace of ,god towards his departed child1 and implored the divine blessing on both the branches of her family1 as well as on all the ,israel of ,god4 ,thus she departed in peace1 not trusting in her wisdom or virtue1 like the philosophers of ,greece and ,rome2 not even like ,addison1 calling on the profligate to see a good man die2 but like ,howard1 afraid that her good works might have a wrong place in the estimate of her hope1 her chief glory was that of a sinner saved by grace499 99,this was ,howard's epitaph1 dictated by himself4 ,after such examples1 who will dare to charge the doctrines of the cross of ,christ with licentiousness8 ,here are two instances of persons1 to whose good works the world have cheerfully borne testimony1 who lived and died in the profession of these doctrines4 ,it was faith that first purified their hearts1 and so the stream of action from these fountains became pure also4 ,had not ,christ died and risen again1 all the powers of man could never have produced such lives of benevolence1 nor a death so full of contrition1 yet so embalmed with hope4 ,hallelujah1 unto ,him who loved us1 and washed us from our sins in his own blood1 and hath made us kings and priests unto ,god and his ,father3 to him be glory and dominion1 for ever and ever4 ,amen4 ,at the next weekly prayer-meeting which she had usually attended1 the circumstances of her death were made subjects of improvement4 ,on the #afth of ,july she was a worshipper with her brethren and sisters there1 and on the evening of the #cjth they were called to consider her by faith as in the immediate presence of her ,god1 among the spirits of the just made perfect4 ,the services of that evening were closed with the following hymn from ,dobell's collection1 which is beautifully descriptive of her happy change3 ',tis finished6 the conflict is past1 ,the heaven-born spirit is fled2 ,her wish is accomplished at last1 ,and now she's entombed with the dead4 ,the months of affliction are o'er1 ,the days and the nights of distress1 ,we see her in anguish no more-- ,she's gained her happy release4 ,no sickness1 or sorrow1 or pain1 ,shall ever disquiet her now2 ,for death to her spirit was gain1 ,since ,christ was her life when below4 ,her soul has now taken its flight ,to mansions of glory above1 ,to mingle with angels of light1 ,and dwell in the kingdom of love4 ,the victory now is obtained2 ,she's gone her dear ,saviour to see2 ,her wishes she fully has gained-- ,she's now where she longed to be4 ,the coffin1 the shroud1 and the grave ,to her were no objects of dread2 ,on ,him who is mighty to save1 ,her soul was with confidence stayed4 ,then let us forbear to complain1 ,that she is now gone from our sight2 ,we soon shall behold her again1 ,with new and redoubled delight4 ,mrs4 ,graham's death created a strong sensation in the public mind4 ,magistrates of the city were careful to express their sense of the public loss sustained1 and many charitable institutions paid affectionate tributes to her memory4 ,several clergymen also made her death the subject of their discourses1 among whom was her beloved pastor1 ,dr4 ,,john ,m4 ,,mason1 who1 on ,sabbath evening1 ,aug4 #ad1 delivered the well-known powerful sermon1 ,,christian ,,mourning1 from #a ,thess4 #d3ac1 #ad3 ,i would not have you to be ignorant1 brethren1 concerning them which are asleep1 that ye sorrow not1 even as others which have no hope4 ,for if we believe that ,jesus died and rose again1 even so them also which sleep in ,jesus will ,god bring with him4 ,contrasting the consolations afforded to the ,christian with the darkness and doubt of the pagan or infidel2 dwelling on the ,christian's death as sleeping in ,jesus2 his immediate entrance into bliss1 and his glorious resurrection and reigning with ,christ in the judgment1 he thus proceeds3 ,in this faith the apostles labored and the martyrs bled4 ,ages have elapsed and it is still the same4 ,it is not a distant wonder2 not a brilliant vision2 but a solid and present reality1 under the power of which at this moment1 while the words are on my lips1 ,christians1 in various parts of the world1 are closing their eyes to sleep in ,jesus4 ,it has come home to our own business and bosoms4 ,it has chosen our houses to be the scene of its miracles4 ,but rarely does it fall to the lot of human eyes to witness so high a display of its value and virtue1 as was witnessed in that blessed woman whose entrance into the joy of her ,lord has occasioned our assembling this evening4 ,as we are commanded to be followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises1 we should have their example before us1 that we may learn to imbibe their spirit1 to imitate their graces1 and be ready for their reward4 ,with this view1 permit me to lay before you some brief recollections of our deceased friend4 ,it is not my intention to relate the history of her life4 ,that will be a proper task for biography4 ,i design merely to state a few leading facts1 and to sketch such outlines of character as may show to those who knew her not1 what manner of person she was in all holy conversation and godliness4 ,those who knew her best require no such remembrancer1 and will be able1 from their own observation1 to supply its defects4 ,,isabella ,,marshall1 known to us as ,mrs4 ,,graham1 received from nature qualities which1 in circumstances favorable to their development1 do not allow their possessor to pass through life unnoticed and inefficient4 ,an intellect strong1 prompt1 and inquisitive--a temper open1 generous1 cheerful1 ardent--a heart replete with tenderness1 and alive to every social affection and every benevolent impulse--a spirit at once enterprising and persevering--the whole crowned with that rare and inestimable endowment1 good sense--were materials which required only skilful management to fit her for adorning and dignifying any female station4 ,with that sort of cultivation which the world most admires1 and those opportunities which attend upon rank and fortune1 she might have shone in the circles of the great without forfeiting the esteem of the good4 ,or had her lot fallen among the literary unbelievers of the continent1 she might have figured in the sphere of the ,voltaires1 the ,duffauds1 and the other esprits forts of ,paris4 ,she might have been as gay in public1 as dismal in private1 and as wretched in her end1 as any of the most distinguished among them for their wit and their woe4 ,but ,god had destined her for other scenes and services--scenes from which greatness turns away appalled1 and services which all the cohorts of infidel wit are unable to perform4 ,she was to be prepared by poverty1 bereavement1 and grief1 to pity and to succor the poor1 the bereaved1 and the grieving4 ,the sorrows of widowhood were to teach her the heart of the widow--her babes1 deprived of their father1 to open the springs of her compassion to the fatherless and orphan--and the consolations of ,god1 her refuge and strength1 her very present help in trouble1 to make her a daughter of consolation to them who were walking in the valley of the shadow of death4 ,to train her betimes for the future dispensations of his providence1 the ,lord touched the heart of this chosen vessel in her early youth4 ,the spirit of prayer sanctified her infant lips1 and taught her1 as far back as her memory could go1 to pour out her heart before ,god4 ,she had not reached her eleventh year when she selected a bush in the retirement of the field1 and there devoted herself to her ,god by faith in the ,redeemer4 ,the incidents of her education1 thoughtless companions1 the love of dress1 and the dancing-school1 as she has herself recorded1 chilled for a while the warmth of her piety1 and robbed her bosom of its peace4 ,but her gracious ,lord revisited her with his mercy1 and bound her to himself in an everlasting covenant1 which she sealed at his own table about the seventeenth year of her age4 ,having married1 a few years after1 ,dr4 ,john ,graham1 surgeon to the #fjth ,british regiment1 she accompanied him first to ,montreal1 and shortly after to ,fort ,niagara4 ,here1 during four years of temporal prosperity1 she had no opportunity1 even for once1 of entering the habitation of ,god's house1 or hearing the sound of his gospel4 ,secluded from the waters of the sanctuary and all the public means of growth in grace1 her religion began to languish and its leaf to droop4 ,but the root was perennial--it was of the seed of ,god1 which liveth and abideth for ever4 ,the ,sabbath was still to her the sign of his covenant4 ,on that day of rest1 with her ,bible in her hand1 she used to wander through the woods1 renew her self-dedication1 and pour out her prayer for the salvation of her husband and her children4 ,he who 'dwelleth not in temples made with hands1' heard her cry from the wilds of ,niagara1 and strengthened her with strength in her soul4 ,by one of those vicissitudes which checker military life1 the regiment was ordered to the island of ,antigua in the ,west ,indies4 ,here she met with that exquisite enjoyment to which she had been long a stranger--the communion of kindred spirits in the love of ,christ3 and soon did she need all the soothing and support which it is fitted to administer2 for in a very short time the husband of her youth1 the object of her most devoted affection1 her sole earthly stay1 was taken from her by death4 ,the stroke was1 indeed1 mitigated by the sweet assurance that he slept in ,jesus4 ,but a heart like hers1 convulsed by a review of the past and anticipation of the future1 would have burst with agony1 had she not known how to pour its sorrows into the bosom of her heavenly ,father4 ,trials which beat sense and reason to the ground1 raise up the faith of the ,christian1 and draw her closer to her ,god4 ,o1 how divine to have him as the rock of our rest when every earthly reliance is a broken reed4 ,bowing to his mysterious dispensation1 and committing herself to his protection as the ,father of the fatherless and the ,husband of the widow1 she returns with her charge to her native land1 to contract alliance with penury1 and to live by faith for her daily bread4 ,that same grace under whose teaching she knew how to abound1 taught her also how to suffer need4 ,with a dignity which belongs only to them who have treasure in heaven1 she descended to her humble cot1 employment1 and fare4 ,but her humility1 according to the ,scripture1 was the forerunner of her advancement4 ,the light of her virtues shone brightest in her obscurity1 and pointed her way to the confidential trust of forming the minds and manners of young females of different ranks in the metropolis of ,scotland4 ,here1 respected by the great and beloved by the good2 in sacred intimacy with 'devout and honorable women1' and the friendship of men who were in truth servants of the most high ,god1 she continued in the successful discharge of her duties till ,providence conducted her to our shores4 ,she long had a predilection for ,america1 as a land in which1 according to her favorite opinion1 the church of ,christ is signally to flourish4 ,here she wished to end her days and leave her children4 ,and we shall remember with gratitude1 that in granting her wish1 ,god cast her lot with ourselves4 ,twenty-five years ago she opened in this city a school for the education of young ladies1 the benefits of which have been strongly felt1 and will be long felt hereafter1 in different and distant parts of our country4 ,evidently devoted to the welfare of her pupils--attentive to their peculiarities of character--happy in discovering the best avenue of approach to their minds--possessing in a high degree the talent of simplifying her instruction and varying its form1 she succeeded in that most difficult part of a teacher's work1 the inducing youth to take an interest in their own improvement1 and to educate themselves by exerting their own faculties4 ,in governing her little empire1 she acted upon those principles which are the basis of all good government1 on every scale and under every modification--to be reasonable1 to be firm1 and to be uniform4 ,her authority was both tempered and strengthened by condescension4 ,it commanded respect while it conciliated affection4 ,her word was law1 but it was the law of kindness4 ,it spoke to the conscience1 but it spoke to the heart2 and obedience bowed with the knee of love4 ,she did not1 however1 imagine her work to be perfected in fitting her lves for duties and elegance of life4 ,never did she forget their immortal nature4 ,utterly devoid of sectarian narrowness1 she labored to infuse into their minds those vital principles of evangelical piety which form the common distinction of the disciples of ,christ1 the peculiar glory of the female name1 and the surest pledge of domestic bliss4 ,her voice1 her example1 her prayers concurred in recommending that pure and undefiled religion without which no human being shall see the ,lord4 ,shall we wonder that her scholars should be tenderly attached to such a preceptress2 that they should leave her with their tears and their blessing2 that they should carry an indelible remembrance of her into the bosom of their families2 that the reverence of pupils should ripen with their years into the affection of friends2 and that there should be among them1 at this day1 many a wife who is a crown to her husband1 and many a mother who is a blessing to her children1 and who owes1 in a great degree1 the felicity of her character to the impressions1 the principles1 and the habits which she received while under the maternal tuition of ,mrs4 ,,graham8 ,admonished at length by the infirmities of age1 and importuned by her friends1 this venerable matron retired to private life4 ,but it was impossible for her to be idle4 ,her leisure only gave a new direction to her activity4 ,with no less alacrity than she had displayed in the education of youth1 did she now embark in the relief of misery4 ,her benevolence was unbounded1 but it was discreet4 ,there are charities which increase the wretchedness they are designed to diminish2 which1 from some fatal defect in their application1 bribe to iniquity while they are relieving want1 and make food and raiment and clothing to warm into life the most poisonous seeds of vice4 ,but the charities of our departed friend were of another order4 ,they selected the fittest objects--the widow1 the fatherless1 the orphan1 the untaught child1 and the ignorant adult4 ,they combined intellectual and moral benefit with the communication of physical comfort4 ,in her house originated the ,society for the ,relief of ,poor ,widows with ,small ,children4 ,large1 indeed1 is this branch of the family of affliction1 and largely did it share in her sympathy and succor4 ,when at the head of this noble association1 she made it her business to see with her own eyes the objects of their care2 and to give1 by her personal presence and efforts1 the strongest impulse to their humane system4 ,from morning till night has she gone from abode to abode of these destitute1 who are too commonly unpitied by the great1 despised by the proud1 and forgotten by the gay4 ,she has gone to sit beside them on their humble seat1 hearing their simple and sorrowful story1 sharing their homely meal--ascertaining the condition of their children--stirring them up to diligence1 to economy1 to neatness1 to order--putting them into the way of obtaining suitable employment for themselves and suitable places for their children--distributing among them the word of ,god1 and tracts calculated to familiarize its first principles to their understanding--cherishing them in sickness1 admonishing them in health--instructing1 reproving1 exhorting1 consoling--sanctifying the whole with fervent prayer4 ,many a sobbing heart and streaming eye is this evening embalming her memory in the house of the widow4 ,little if any less is the debt due to her from that invaluable charity1 the ,orphan ,asylum4 ,it speaks its own praise1 and that praise is hers4 ,scores of orphans redeemed from filth1 from ignorance1 from wretchedness1 from crime--clothed1 fed1 instructed--trained in cleanliness to habits of industry--early imbued with the knowledge and fear of ,god--gradually preparing for respectability1 usefulness1 and happiness1 is a spectacle for angels4 ,their infantine gayety1 their healthful sport1 their cherub faces1 mark the contrast between their present and former condition2 and recall very tenderly the scenes in which they used to cluster round their patron-mother1 hang on her gracious words1 and receive her benediction4 ,brethren1 ,i am not dealing in romance1 but in sober fact4 ,the night would be too short for a full enumeration of her worthy deeds4 ,suffice it to say that they ended but with her life4 ,the ,sabbath previous to her last sickness occupied her with a recent institution--a ,sunday-school for ignorant adults2 and the evening preceding the touch of death1 found her at the side of a faithful domestic1 administering consolation to his wounded spirit4 ,such active benevolence could hardly be detected in company with a niggardly temper4 ,wishes which cost nothing2 pity which expires on the lips2 be ye warmed and be ye clothed1 from a cold heart and an unyielding gripe1 never imprinted their disgraceful brand upon ,isabella ,graham4 ,what she urged upon others she exemplified in herself4 ,she kept a purse for ,god4 ,here1 in obedience to his command1 she deposited the first-fruits of all her increase2 and they were sacred to his service1 as in his providence he should call for them4 ,no shuffling pretences1 no pitiful evasions1 when a fair demand was made upon the hallowed store2 and no frigid affectation in determining the quality of the demand4 ,a sense of duty was the prompter1 candor the interpreter1 and good sense the judge4 ,her disbursements were proportioned to the value of the object1 and were ready at a moment's warning1 to the very last farthing499 ,how pungent a reproof to those ladies of opulence and fashion who sacrifice so largely to their dissipation or their vanity1 that they have nothing left for mouths without food1 and limbs without raiment6 ,how far does it throw back into the shade those men of prosperous enterprise and gilded state who1 in the hope of some additional lucre1 have thousands and ten thousands at their beck2 but who1 when asked for decent contributions to what they themselves acknowledge to be all-important1 turn away with this hollow excuse1 ',i cannot afford it4' ,above all1 how should her example redden the faces of many who profess to belong to ,christ2 to have received gratuitously from him what he procured for them at the expense of his own blood1 'an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled1 and that fadeth not away2' and yet1 in the midst of abundance which he has lavished upon them1 when the question is about relieving his suffering members1 or promoting the glory of his kingdom1 are sour1 reluctant1 mean4 ,are these the ,christians8 ,can it be that they have committed their bodies1 their souls1 their eternal hope1 to a ,saviour whose thousand promises on this very point of honoring him with their substance1 have less influence upon their hearts and their hands than the word of any honest man8 ,remember the deceased1 and hang your heads--remember her1 and tremble2 remember her1 and bring forth fruits meet for repentance4 99,the author knew her1 when in moderate circumstances1 to give1 unsolicited1 fifty pounds at once out of that sacred purse to a single most worthy purpose4 ,in that charity1 also1 which far surpasses mere almsgiving1 however liberal1 the charity of the gospel1 our friend was conspicuous4 ,the love of ,god shed abroad in her own heart by the ,holy ,ghost1 drew forth her love to his people wherever she found them4 ,assuredly she had in herself this witness of her having 'passed from death unto life1' that she loved the brethren4 ,the epistle1 written not with ink1 but with the ,spirit of the living ,god2 not in tables of stone1 but in fleshly tables of the heart2 yet read and known of all men3 that is1 the ,christian temper manifested by a ,christian conversation1 was to her the best letter of recommendation4 ,unwavering in her own faith as to the peculiar doctrines of the gospel1 she could nevertheless extend love without dissimulation1 and the very bowels of ,christian fellowship1 to others who1 whatever might be their mistakes1 their infirmities1 or their differences in smaller matters1 agreed in the great ,christian essential of acceptance in the ,beloved4 ,deeply did she deplore the conceit1 the bigotry1 and the bitterness of sect4 ,o that her spirit were more prevalent in the churches2 that we could labor to abase our crown of pride2 to offer up with one consent upon the altar of evangelical charity1 those petty jealousies1 animosities1 and strifes which are our common reproach2 and walk together as children of the same ,father1 brethren of the same ,redeemer1 and heirs of the same salvation4 ,to these admirable traits of character were added great tenderness of conscience and a spirit of prayer4 ,her religion1 not contented to justify her before men1 habitually aimed at pleasing ,god1 who looketh upon the heart4 ,it was not enough for her to persuade herself that a thing might be right4 ,before venturing upon it1 she studied to reduce the question of right to a clear certainty4 ,how cautious and scrupulous and jealous of herself she was in this matter1 they best can tell who saw her in the shade of retirement as well as in the sunshine of public observation4 ,perhaps it is not going too far to say1 that her least guarded moments would1 in others1 have been marked for circumspection4 ,at the same time her vigilance had nothing austere1 gloomy1 constrained1 or censorious--nothing to repress the cheerfulness of social intercourse1 or to excite in others1 even the thoughtless1 a dread of merciless criticism after they should retire4 ,it was sanctified nature moving gracefully in its own element4 ,and with respect to the character and feelings of her neighbors1 she was too full of ,christian kindness not to keep her tongue from evil and her lips from speaking guile4 ,these virtues and graces were maintained and invigorated by her habit of prayer4 ,with the 'new and living way into the holiest by the blood of ,jesus1' she was intimately familiar4 ,thither the ,spirit of grace and supplication daily conducted her2 there taught her to pray1 and in praying to believe1 and in believing to have 'fellowship with the ,father and with his ,son ,jesus ,christ4' ,she knew her ,god as the ,god that heareth prayer2 and could attest that 'blessed is she that believeth1 for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the ,lord4' ,under such influence her course could not but be correct1 and her steps well ordered4 ,the 'secret of the ,lord is with them that fear him2 and he will show them his covenant1 he will guide them in judgment4' ,thus he did with his handmaid whom he hath called home4 ,wherever she was1 and in whatever circumstances1 she remembered the guide of her youth1 who1 according to ,his promise1 never left her1 nor forsook her2 but continued ,his gracious presence with her when she was old and gray-headed4 ,you may perhaps imagine1 that with such direction and support it was impossible she should see trouble4 ,nay1 but waters of a full cup were wrung out to her4 ,she often ate the bread of sorrow steeped in wormwood and gall4 ,her heavenly ,father showed her great and sore adversities2 that he might try her as silver is tried1 and bring her forth from the furnace purified seven times4 ,it was during these refining processes that she found the worth of being a ,christian4 ,though her way was planted with thorns and watered with her tears1 yet the candle of the ,lord shone upon her head2 and from step to step she had reason to cry1 ,hitherto hath ,jehovah helped4 ,in a word1 like ,enoch1 she walked with ,god2 like ,abraham1 she staggered not at his promise through unbelief2 like ,jacob1 she wrestled with the angel and prevailed2 like ,moses1 endured as seeing ,him who is invisible2 like ,paul1 finished her course with joy4 ,blessed were the eyes of the preacher1 for they saw the victory of her faith2 and his ears1 for they heard her song of salvation4 ',you can say with the apostle1 ,i know whom ,i have believed1 and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which ,i have committed unto him8' ',o yes1 but ,i cannot say the other1 ,i have fought a good fight2 ,i must say1 ,i have fought a poor fight1 ,i have run a poor race2 but ,christ fought for me4 ,christ ran with me1 and through ,christ ,i hope to win1' ',but you have no fear1 no doubts1 about your going to be with ,christ8' ',o no1 not a doubt2 ,i am as sure of that as if ,i were already in my ,saviour's arms4' ,it was her final conversation with children of the dust4 ,the next day1 when her flesh and her heart had so far failed that she was incapable of uttering a sentence1 she still proved her ,god to be the strength of her heart1 and knew him to be her portion for ever4 ,i said to her1 ',it is peace1' ,she opened her eyes1 smiled1 closed them again1 bowed her dying head1 and breathed out1 ',peace1' ,it was her last word on this side heaven4 ,the attending spirits caught it from her lips1 and brought to her the next day permission to sleep in ,jesus4 ,from this review allow me to urge the value of private exertions in promoting general good4 ,in pursuing his gratifications1 man is apt to look upon himself as a being of great importance2 in fulfilling his duties1 to account himself as nothing4 ,both are extravagances which it will be his wisdom and happiness to correct4 ,he is neither supreme in worth nor useless in action4 ,let him not say1 ',i am but one2 my voice will be drowned in the universal din2 my weight is lighter than a feather in the public scale4 ,it is better for me to mind my own affairs1 and leave these higher attempts to more competent hands4' ,this is the language1 not of reason and modesty1 but of sloth1 of selfishness1 and of pride4 ,the amount of it is1 ',i cannot do every thing1 therefore ,i will do nothing1' ,but you can do much4 ,act well your part according to your faculties1 your station1 and your means4 ,the result will be honorable to yourself1 delightful to your friends1 and beneficial to the world4 ,i advise not to gigantic aims1 to enormous enterprise4 ,the world has seen but one ,newton1 and one ,howard4 ,nothing is required of you but to make the most of the opportunities within your reach4 ,recall the example of ,mrs4 ,graham4 ,here was a woman1 a widow1 a stranger in a strange land1 without fortune1 with no friends but such as her letters of introduction and her worth should acquire1 and with a family of daughters dependent upon her for their subsistence4 ,surely if any one has a clear title of immunity from the obligation to carry her cares beyond the domestic circle1 it is this widow1 it is this stranger4 ,yet within a few years this stranger1 this widow1 with no means but her excellent sense1 her benevolent heart1 and her persevering will to do good1 awakens the charities of a populous city1 and gives to them an impulse1 a direction1 and an efficacy unknown before4 ,what might not be done by men--by men of talent1 of standing1 of wealth1 of leisure8 ,how speedily1 under their well-directed beneficence1 might a whole country change its physical1 intellectual1 and moral aspect2 and assume1 comparatively speaking1 the face of another ,eden1 a second garden of ,god4 ,why then do they not diffuse thus extensively the seeds of knowledge1 of virtue1 and of bliss8 ,i ask not for their pretences2 they are as old as the lust of lucre1 and are refuted by the example which we have been contemplating3 ,i ask for the true reason1 for the inspiring principle of their conduct4 ,it is this--let them look to it when ,god shall call them to account for the abuse of their time1 their talents1 their station1 their 'unrighteous mammon'--it is this3 they believe not 'the words of the ,lord ,jesus1 how he said1 ,it is more blessed to give than to receive4' ,they labor under no want but one1 they want the heart4 ,the bountiful ,god add this to the other gifts which he has bestowed upon them4 ,i turn to the other sex4 ,that venerable mother in ,israel who has exchanged the service of ,god on earth for his service in heaven1 has left a legacy to her sisters3 she has left the example of her faith and patience2 she has left her prayers2 she has left the monument of her ,christian deeds2 and by these she being dead1 yet speaketh4 ,matrons1 has she left her mantle also8 ,are there none among you to hear her voice from the tomb1 ,go and do thou likewise8 ,none whom affluence permits1 endowments qualify1 and piety prompts1 to aim at her distinction by treading in her steps8 ,maidens1 are there none among you who would wish to array yourselves hereafter in the honors of this virtuous woman8 ,your hearts have dismissed their wonted warmth and generosity1 if they do not throb as the revered vision rises before you4 ,then prepare yourselves now1 by seeking and serving the ,god of her youth4 ,you cannot be too early adorned with the robes of righteousness and the garments of salvation in which she was wedded1 in her morning of life1 to ,jesus the ,king of glory4 ,that same grace which threw its radiance around her1 shall make you also to shine in the beauty of holiness2 and the fragrance of those virtues which it shall create1 develope1 and ennoble1 will be 'as the smell of a field which the ,lord hath blessed4' ,yea1 let me press upon all the transcendent excellence of ,christian character1 and the victorious power of ,christian hope4 ,the former bears the image of ,god2 the latter is as imperishable as his throne4 ,we fasten our eyes with more real respect and more heart-felt approbation upon the moral majesty displayed in walking as ,christ also walked1 than upon all the pomps of the monarch or decorations of the military hero4 ,more touching to the sense and more grateful to high heaven is the soft melancholy with which we look after our departed friend1 and the tear which embalms her memory1 than the thundering plaudits which rend the air with the name of a conqueror4 ,she has obtained a triumph over that foe who shall break the arm of valor1 and strike off the crown of kings4 ',the fashion of this world passeth away4' ,old ,time approaches towards his last hour4 ,the proudest memorials of human grandeur shall be food for the conflagration to be kindled when 'the ,lord ,jesus shall be revealed from heaven in flaming fire4 ,then shall he be glorified in his saints1 and admired in all them that believe4' ,there are those perhaps1 in the present assembly1 who repute godliness fanaticism1 and the sobriety of ,christian peace the gloom of a joyless spirit2 but who cannot forbear sighing out1 with the prophet of mammon1 ',let me die the death of the righteous1 and let my last end be like his4' ,if they proceed no further1 their wish will not be granted4 ,none shall die the death of the righteous1 unless by a rare dispensation of mercy1 who do not live his life4 ,they only are fit to be with ,god who love ,god and keep his commandments4 ,in that day of transport and of terror which we shall all witness1 how many of the thoughtless fair who now 'sport themselves with their own deceivings1' would give all the treasures of the east and thrones of the west to sit with ,isabella ,graham on the right hand of ,jesus ,christ4 ,if ye be wise betimes1 ye may4 ,now is the accepted time2 to-day is the day of salvation4 ,the gospel of the ,son of ,god offers you at this very moment1 the forgiveness of your sins1 and an inheritance among them that are sanctified4 ,the blessing comes to you as a free gift3 accept it1 and live2 accept it1 and be safe2 accept it1 and put away the shudderings of guilt and the fear of death4 ,then shall you too1 like our friend1 go in due season to be with ,christ4 ,your happy spirit shall rejoin hers in the mansions of the saved4 ,god shall bring you in soul and body with her when he makes up his jewels4 ,then shall he gather his elect from the four winds of heaven1 shall perfect that which concerneth them1 and make them fully and for ever blessed4 ,be our place among them in that day4' ,,extract ,,from ,,mrs4 ,,graham',s ,,last ,,will ,,and ,,testament4 ,my children and my grandchildren ,i leave to my covenant ,god--the ,god who hath fed me all my life with the bread that perisheth1 and the bread that never perisheth2 who has been a ,father to my fatherless children1 and a ,husband to their widowed mother thus far4 ,and now1 receiving my ,redeemer's testimony1 ,john #c3cc1 ,i set to my seal that ,god is true2 and believing the record in ,john's epistle1 that ,god hath given to me eternal life1 and this life is in his ,son1 who1 through the eternal ,spirit1 offered himself without spot unto ,god1 and being consecrated a priest for ever1 hath with his own blood1 entered into the holy place1 having obtained eternal redemption for me4 ,i also believe that he will perfect what concerns me1 support and carry me safely through death1 and present me to his ,father1 complete in his own righteousness1 without spot or wrinkle4 ,into the hands of this redeeming ,god1 ,father1 ,son1 and ,holy ,ghost1 ,i commit my redeemed spirit4 ,mrs4 ,graham's epitaph on a tablet in the ,pearl-street church1 is associated with that of her son-in-law ,mr4 ,bethune1 to whom before his connection with the family she was a spiritual mother2 who prepared her memoir1 wrote and printed tracts for her widows1 imported ,bibles for her to distribute1 replenished her charity purse when exhausted2 with whom she took sweet counsel and walked to the house of ,god in company2 and for whom she was pleased to leave the written and honorable testimony3 ,he stands in my mind1 in temper1 conduct1 and conversation1 the nearest to the gospel standard of any man or woman ,i ever knew as intimately4 ,devoted to his ,god1 to his church1 to his family1 to all to whom he may have opportunity of doing good1 duty is his governing principle2 cast upon his care1 under ,god he nourishes me with kindness1 etc4 ,they have entered into rest4 ,one sepulchre contains their sleeping dust1 and one monument bears the following tribute to their memory3 ,,sacred ,,to ,,the ,,memory ,,of ,,divie ,,bethune1 ,,merchant ,,of ,,this ,,city1 ,,who ,,died ,,september #ah1 #ahbd1 ,,aged #ec ,,years2 ,,and ,,of ,,isabella ,,graham1 ,,his ,,mother-,,in-,,law1 ,,who ,,died ,,july #bg1 #ahad1 ,,aged #gb ,,years4 ,,they ,,were ,,both ,,natives ,,of ,,scotland4 ,,this ,,monument ,,is ,,reared ,,by ,,his ,,bereaved ,,widow ,,and ,,her ,,orphan ,,daughter1 ,,as ,a ,,testimonial ,,of ,,two ,,servants ,,of ,,jesus ,,christ3 ,,the ,,one ,a ,,ruling ,,elder ,,in ,,his ,,church1 ,,the ,,other ,a ,,mother ,,in ,,israel2 ,,who1 ,,like ,,enoch1 ,,walked ,,with ,,god1 ,,like ,,abraham1 ,,obtained ,,the ,,righteousness ,,of ,,faith1 ,,and1 ,,like ,,paul1 ,,finished ,,their ,,course ,,with ,,joy4 ,,they ,,were ,,lovely ,,and ,,pleasant ,,in ,,their ,,lives1 ,,and ,,they ,,rest ,,here ,,together ,,in ,,their ,,graves4 ,,the ,,blessing ,,of ,,him ,,that ,,was ,,ready ,,to ,,perish ,,came ,,upon ,,them2 ,,and ,,they ,,caused ,,the ,,widow',s ,,heart ,,to ,,sing ,,for ,,joy4 ,,job #bi3ac4 ,,oh ,,how ,,great ,,is ,,thy ,,goodness1 ,,which ,,thou ,,hast ,,laid ,,up ,,for ,,them ,,that ,,fear ,,thee2 ,,which ,,thou ,,hast ,,wrought ,,for ,,them ,,that ,,trust ,,in ,,thee ,,before ,,the ,,sons ,,of ,,men6 ,,psa4 #ca3ai4 ,,provision ,,for ,,my ,,last ,,journey ,,through ,,the ,,wilderness ,,and ,,passage ,,over ,,jordan499 99,found in ,mrs4 ,graham's pocket after her decease4 ',prepare you victuals1 for within three days ye shall pass over this ,jordan1 to go in to possess the land which the ,lord your ,god giveth you to possess it4 ,when ye see the ark of the covenant of the ,lord your ,god1 and the priests bearing it1 then ye shall remove and go after it3 that ye may know the way by which ye must go1 for ye have not passed this way heretofore4' ',sanctify yourselves1 for to-morrow the ,lord will do wonders among you4' ',behold1 the ark of the covenant of the ,lord of all the earth passeth over before you into ,jordan3 and it shall come to pass1 that as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of the ,lord1 the ,lord of all the earth1 shall rest in the waters1 that the waters of ,jordan shall be cut off from the waters that come down from above2 and they shall stand upon a heap4' ',and it came to pass1 that when the people removed from their tents to pass over ,jordan1 and the priests bearing the ark of the covenant before the people1 that as they that bare the ark were come into ,jordan1 and the feet of the priests were dipped in the brim of the water1 that the waters that came down from above stood and rose up upon a heap2 and the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the ,lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of ,jordan1 and all the ,israelites passed over on dry ground4' ',and ,joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of ,jordan1 in the place where the feet of the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the ,lord stood2 and they are there unto this day4' ',when your children shall ask their fathers in time to come1 saying1 ,what mean these stones8 ye shall let your children know1 saying1 ,israel came over this ,jordan on dry land2 for the ,lord your ,god dried up the waters from before you until ye were passed over1 as the ,lord your ,god did to the ,red sea1 which he dried up1 until we were passed over2 that all people of the earth might know the hand of the ,lord1 that it is mighty3 that ye might fear the ,lord your ,god for ever1' ,amen4 ,josh4 #a3aa2 chap4 #c1 #d4 ,oh1 thou ,jehovah2 ,israel's ,god1 and by thy new covenant1 my ,god2 thus far hast thou brought me through the wilderness3 bearing1 chastising1 forgiving1 restoring4 ,well hast thou made out thy wilderness name to me3 ',the ,lord1 the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 and abundant in goodness and truth1 keeping mercy for thousands1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin4' ,great have been my provocations1 but greater still thy covenant mercy4 ,i have not perished with them that believed not2 sore bitten ,i am1 but thou hast fixed mine eyes on the lifted-up ,healer1 and ,i am in his hand for further cure4 ,my journey has been long1 and my way devious2 but my blessed ,joshua is still in view4 ,i must be near to ,jordan's flood2 ,i have been preparing victuals from thine own repository of truth4 ,and now1 my blessed ,high-priest and ,ark of the covenant1 lead on my staggering steps the little further4 ,i have not gone this way heretofore1 but thou hast measured these waters while they overflowed all their banks4 ,thou hast passed through1 and made the passage safe for thy people4 ,at thy command the waters stand up upon a heap1 and they pass through in thy presence on faith's firm ground4 ,keep then mine eye upon thee1 and ,i shall fear no evil4 ,and ,oh1 my1 blessed ,leader1 if it might please thee1 ,i would ask a boon1 yet with submission1 that thy sensible presence might be with me all the way through2 and that thou wouldst bring from my quivering lips a testimony to the glory of thy grace1 that my children may know that thou hast pardoned1 restored1 perfected1 dried up the waters of terror1 carried me triumphantly through1 and put me in possession of the purchased inheritance4 ,amen4 ',this is a faithful saying1 and worthy of all acceptation1 that ,christ ,jesus came into the world to save sinners1 of whom ,i am chief4' #a ,tim4 #a3ae4 ,i have often inquired1 ,what is there within us1 or without us1 on which a sinner can rest in peace in a dying hour8 ,if it be a holy life1 there can be no peace for me--taking the law of ,god for my standard2 backslider is my name2 yet ,i think in this sacred volume ,i find a hope even for me1 the chief of sinners4 ',as ,moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness1 even so must the ,son of man be lifted up1 that whosoever believeth on him should not perish1 but have eternal life4 ,for ,god so loved the world1 that he gave his only begotten ,son1 that whosoever believeth on him should not perish1 but have eternal life4 ,for ,god sent not his ,son into the world to condemn the world1 but that the world through him might be saved4' ',he that cometh from heaven is above all1 and what he hath seen and heard1 that he testifieth4' ',he that receiveth his testimony has set to his seal that ,god is true4' ',the ,father loveth the ,son1 and hath given all things into his hand2 he that believeth on the ,son hath everlasting life4' ,john #c3ad-cf4 ,here is a hope for me2 the world is made up of sinners1 ,i am one of them1 and though the chief1 am not excluded4 ,the ,son of man came to save that which was lost1 ,matt4 #ah3aa2 ,i am of that description4 ',the ,pharisees said1 ,why eateth your master with publicans and sinners8 ,jesus said1 ,the whole need not a physician1 but they that are sick4' ,matt4 #i3aa4 ,i am a sinner1 and sick4 ',i will have mercy1 and not sacrifice2 for ,i am not come to call the righteous1 but sinners to repentance4' ,i am a sinner1 and need repentance4 ',him hath ,god exalted with his right hand1 to be a ,prince and a ,saviour1 to give repentance to ,israel and forgiveness of sins4' ,acts #e3ca4 ',the ,lord is long-suffering1 not willing that any should perish1 but that all should come to repentance4' #b ,pet4 #c3i4 ,christ said to the woman of ,samaria1 a notorious sinner1 ',if thou knewest the gift of ,god1 and who it is that saith to thee1 ,give me to drink1 thou wouldest have asked of him1 and he would have given thee living water4 ,whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again2 but whosoever drinketh of the water that ,i shall give him1 shall never thirst2 but the water that ,i shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life4' ,john #d3aj1 #ad4 ,yes1 my ,redeemer1 a draught of this water1 received in faith from the hand of the ,spirit1 will give life in death4 ,o pour it into my thirsty soul in that searching hour4 ,jesus said to a mixed multitude of sinners like me1 ',labor not for the meat which perisheth1 but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life1 which the ,son of man shall give unto you2 for him hath ,god the ,father sealed1' ,john #f3bg4 ,these sinners said unto him1 ',what shall we do that we might work the works of ,god8' ',that ye believe on ,him whom he hath sent4 ,my ,father giveth you the true bread from heaven1 for the bread of ,god is he which cometh down from heaven1 and giveth life unto the world3 ,i am the bread of life2 he that cometh unto me shall never hunger1 and he that believeth on me shall never thirst4 ,i am the living bread which came down from heaven2 if any man eat of this bread1 he shall live for ever4 ,and the bread which ,i shall give is my flesh1 which ,i will give for the life of the world4 ,jesus said unto them1 ,except ye eat the flesh1 and drink the blood of the ,son of man1 ye have no life in you3 whoso eateth my flesh1 and drinketh my blood1 dwelleth in me1 and ,i in him4 ,as the living ,father hath sent me1 and ,i live by the ,father2 so he that eateth me1 even he shall live by me4' ,the ,father giveth this bread1 the ,son giveth this bread2 whosoever will1 may take of this bread1 and the promise with it4 ,father1 ,i take this bread1 ,i take and believe that ,i have in thee eternal life1 according to thy word4 ,o holy and blessed ,comforter1 ,spirit of the ,father and of the ,son1 whose office it is to take of the things of ,christ and show them unto his redeemed1 when the bread and the water that perish can no longer refresh this dying body1 apply this living bread and living water to my soul1 that life may spring up in the midst of death2 and in that trying hour1 bear witness with my spirit that ,i dwell in ,christ1 and ,christ in me1 and that ,i shall never die4 ',in the last day1 that great day of the feast1 ,jesus stood and cried1 ,if any man thirst1 let him come unto me and drink4 ,he that believeth on me1 as the ,scripture hath said1 out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water4 ,this spake he of the ,spirit1 that they who believe on him should receive4' ,john #g3cg4 ,this he proclaimed to a mixed multitude of sinners like myself4 ,lord1 ,i believe1 and am sure that thou art that ,christ1 the ,son of the living ,god4 ,be it unto me according to thy word3 ',i am the resurrection and the life3 he that believeth in me1 though he were dead1 yet shall he live2 and whosoever liveth and believeth in me1 shall never die4 ,believest thou this8' ,john #aa3be4 ,i believe that thou art the ,christ1 the ,son of the living ,god1 which should come into the world2 the promised ,messiah2 the gift of the ,father1 the covenant given to the people2 the anointed ,prophet and ,king1 and consecrated ,high-priest2 who through the eternal ,spirit offeredst thyself without spot unto ,god2 who came to do that most perfect will of ,god1 by which we are sanctified through the offering of the body of ,christ once for all4 ,lamb of ,god1 which takest away the sins of the world1 on thee ,i lay my precious never-dying soul2 wash me in thy blood1 clothe me in thy righteousness2 sanctify me1 soul1 spirit1 and body1 to thy service4 ,i have no other foundation of hope1 nothing within me1 nothing without me2 my entire dependence is on thy finished work2 into thy hands ,i commit my spirit4 ,let me hear thy consoling voice1 compassionate ,saviour4 ',let not your heart be troubled3 ye believe in ,god1 believe also in me4 ,in my ,father's house are many mansions2 if it were not so ,i would have told you4 ,i go to prepare a place for you4 ,i will come again and receive you unto myself1 that where ,i am1 there ye may be also1' ,john #ad3a-c4 ,o seal this upon my heart1 and it is enough4 ,to be where thou art1 is heaven enough to me4 ,to be where thou art1 to see thee as thou art1 and to be made like thee1 the last sinful motion for ever past--no more opposition1 no more weariness1 listlessness1 dryness1 deadness2 but conformed to my blessed ,head1 every way capacitated to serve him1 and to enjoy him--this is heaven4 ',jesus said1 ,i am the way1 and the truth1 and the life2 no man cometh to the ,father1 but by me4' ,blessed ,comforter1 do thine office2 take these things of ,christ and show them unto me2 lead me in this way1 feed me with this truth1 and animate me with this life3 ',whatsoever ye shall ask of the ,father in my name1 that will ,i do1 that the ,father may be glorified in the ,son4 ,if ye ask any thing in my name1 ,i will do it4' ,blessed ,comforter1 here also do thine office3 ,i know not what to ask for as ,i ought2 help mine infirmities as thou hast said2 suggest the prayer1 be in me the spirit of prayer and supplication1 and especially in that hour of need1 when sickness saps the clay tabernacle1 discomposing the spirit1 and confusing perhaps the ideas3 still1 still let my thoughts rise to my ,god4 ,oh1 let no unhallowed subject get hold of me in that hour1 but keep my ,saviour's name in my heart1 and on my lips4 ,is not this according to thy will8 watch over it then1 and keep the avenues of my soul from every vain idea4 ',if ye love me1 keep my commandments1 and ,i will pray the ,father1 and he shall give you another ,comforter1 that he may abide with you for ever1 even the ,spirit of truth1 whom the world cannot receive1 because it seeth him not1 neither knoweth him2 but ye know him1 for he dwelleth with you1 and shall be in you4 ,he that hath my commandments and keepeth them1 he it is that loveth me2 and he that loveth me shall be loved of my ,father1 and ,i will love him1 and will manifest myself unto him2 and we will come and make our abode with him4 ,the ,comforter1 which is the ,holy ,ghost1 whom the ,father will send in my name1 he shall teach you all things1 and bring all things to your remembrance1 whatsoever ,i have said unto you4 ,peace ,i leave with you2 my peace ,i give unto you2 not as the world giveth1 give ,i unto you3 let not your heart be troubled1 neither let it be afraid4' ,in that last warfare1 when nothing on earth can give peace2 when the world recedes1 and disappears2 when friends must stand aloof and leave me to the combat alone2 ,oh1 blessed and promised ,comforter1 bring to my remembrance1 and impress on my weary spirit these sweet words of my ,saviour4 ,but it has often occurred to me1 and may in that hour1 that though ,jesus received sinners1 they were ignorant sinners4 ,the ,jews understood not the gospel contained in their types and sacrifices2 they were unenlightened and unconverted2 the ,gentiles were totally blind1 serving dumb idols2 neither had known the gospel1 neither had tasted the grace of ,god1 neither were backsliders1 like me4 ,i have known the truth1 been enlightened1 tasted of the heavenly gift1 been made a partaker of the ,holy ,ghost1 tasted of the good word of ,god1 and of the power of the world to come4 ,fifty years ago the ,lord convinced me of my sin1 my misery1 and my total helplessness4 ,i was also1 ,i think1 enabled to lay hold on the hope set before me4 ,i have1 in numerous exercises and acts1 accepted of ,god's gift of ,jesus ,christ to me a condemned sinner2 taking hold of the ,scripture words of invitation and promise held out for my acceptance4 ,i have pleaded his own covenant provision1 in the substitution of his own ,son in my stead1 making him to be sin1 who knew no sin1 that sinners might be made the righteousness of ,god in him4 ,i put in my claim as a sinner1 among the ungodly for whom ,christ died4 ,i believed his testimony1 and set to my seal that ,god is true4 ,i rested on this foundation--,i yet have no other2 ,i know there is no other4 ,the foundation standeth sure4 ,but ,oh1 what am ,i to think of the fruits8 ,i have again and again turned back into the world1 grieved the ,spirit1 crucified the ,son of ,god afresh1 and put him to open shame4 ,no wonder ,i stand alarmed at the apostle's assertion3 my conscience testifies that my character is nearly1 if not altogether1 such as the apostle1 by the ,holy ,spirit1 says it is impossible to renew to repentance4 ,hebrews #f3d1 #e4 ,but thou hast renewed to repentance6 ,thy name is 'the ,lord1 the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 long-suffering1 and abundant in goodness and truth1 keeping mercy for thousands1 forgiving iniquity1 transgression1 and sin4' ,thou wilt by no means clear the guilty2 but thou hast provided a substitute1 and laid my guilt and guilty person on thine own ,son4 ,by this gracious name thou wast known to thy backsliding ,israel in the wilderness2 whose heart1 like mine1 was not right with ,god2 neither were they steadfast in his covenant2 but he1 'being full of compassion1 forgave their iniquity1 and destroyed them not4' ,many a time turned he his anger away1 and did not stir up all his wrath4 ,they forgot ,god their ,saviour1 who had done great things for them2 they transgressed his commandment1 and in their heart turned back again to ,egypt2 they brought upon themselves many afflictions1 and many times did he deliver them2 they provoked him with their counsel1 and were brought low for their iniquity2 nevertheless1 he heard their cry1 and repented according to the multitude of his mercies2 while the blood of bulls and of goats typified the great propitiatory sacrifice1 by which ',god can be just and justify the ungodly4' ,by this name was the ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 known in the pleasant land2 and by the same sacrifice1 the blood of ,christ1 which cleanseth from all sin1 was typified4 ,psalms #ajc1 #ea4 ,the prophets prophesied in his name4 ',all we1 like sheep1 have gone astray1 and the ,lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all4 ,he was wounded for our transgressions1 and bruised for our iniquities2 the chastisement of our peace was laid on him1 and by his stripes we are healed4' ',deliver him from going down to the pit2 ,i have found a ransom4' ,even backsliders1 among whom ,i stand chief1 have been recalled4 ',my people have committed two evils3 they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters1 and have hewn out to themselves cisterns1 broken cisterns1 that can hold no water4 ,is ,israel a servant2 is he a home-born slave2 wherefore is he spoiled8 ,hast thou not procured this to thyself1 in that thou hast forsaken the ,lord thy ,god1 when he led thee by the way8 ,and now what hast thou to do in the way of ,egypt1 to drink the waters of ,sihor8 or what hast thou to do in the way of ,assyria1 to drink the waters of the river8 ,thine own wickedness shall correct thee1 and thy backslidings shall reprove thee4 ,know therefore1 and see that it is an evil and bitter thing1 that thou hast forsaken the ,lord thy ,god1 and that my fear is not in thee1 saith the ,lord ,god of hosts4 ,for of old ,i have broken thy yoke1 and burst thy bands2 and thou saidst1 ,i will not transgress2 when upon every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest1 playing the harlot4 ,yet ,i had planted thee a noble vine1 wholly a right seed3 how art thou turned into the degenerate plant of a strange vine unto me8 ,why gaddest thou about so much to change thy way8 thou also shalt be ashamed of ,egypt1 as thou wast ashamed of ,assyria4 ,have ,i been a barren wilderness1 or a land of darkness unto thee8 ,wherefore say my people1 ,we are lords1 and will come no more to thee8 ,can a maid forget her ornaments1 or a bride her attire8 yet my people have forgotten me1 days without number4' ,jeremiah #b4 ',they say1 ,if a man put away his wife1 and she go from him1 and become another man's1 shall he return to her again8 shall not that land be greatly polluted8 ,but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers2 yet return again unto me1 saith the ,lord4 ,wilt thou not from this time cry unto me4 ,my ,father1 thou art the guide of my youth8' ,what can ,i say to such grace8 ,thou art infinite in thy mercy to pardon1 and in thy power to save4 ,such has been my character1 and such the amazing mercy of my offended ,god4 ,often1 often has he pardoned1 restored1 blessed1 and made me happy4 ,but ,oh1 just is the renewed charge against me4 ',for the house of ,israel and the house of ,judah have dealt very treacherously with me1 saith the ,lord4 ,they have belied the ,lord1 and said1 ,it is not he1 neither shall evil come upon us4' ',go and proclaim these words1 and say1 ,return1 thou backsliding ,israel1 saith the ,lord2 and ,i will not cause mine anger to fall upon you3 for ,i am merciful1 saith the ,lord1 ,i will not keep anger for ever4 ,only acknowledge thine iniquity1 that thou hast transgressed against the ,lord thy ,god2 and ye have not obeyed my voice1 saith the ,lord4 ,turn1 ,o backsliding children1 for ,i am married unto you4' ,jer4 #c4 ,what1 ,o what can ,i say to such grace8 ,truly1 thy ways are not as our ways1 nor thy thoughts as our thoughts4 ,for as the heavens are higher than the earth1 so are thy ways higher than our ways1 and thy thoughts than our thoughts4 ,oh1 how is my guilt aggravated by all this grace2 and yet thou callest1 ,return2 and thou thyself turnest me4 ,i do1 ,o ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 ,i do acknowledge my iniquity2 every time ,i turn back my eyes upon my past life my sins rise in magnitude1 heightened by more enlarged views of thy goodness4 ,it is of the ,lord's mercies that ,i am not consumed1 because his compassions fail not4 ,a voice was heard upon the high places1 weeping and supplication of the children of ,israel1 for they have perverted their ways1 and they have forgotten the ,lord their ,god4 ,yes1 thou hast1 my gracious ,god1 granted repentance4 ,thine eye has seen the tears ,i have shed2 thou hast given me a contrite heart4 ,i have looked upon him whom ,i have pierced1 and been in bitterness as for a first-born4 ,i feel it now1 and must feel it while the body of sin exists4 ,but ,oh1 ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious1 the cause is in thyself1 that ,i hear thy voice1 and that ,i answer4 ',return1 ye backsliding children1 and ,i will heal your backslidings4 ,behold1 ,i come unto thee1 for thou art the ,lord our ,god4 ,truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills and the multitude of mountains4 ,truly1 in the ,lord ,god is the salvation of ,israel4 ,we lie down in our shame1 our confusion covereth us3 for we have sinned against the ,lord our ,god2 we and our fathers1 even from our youth2 and have not obeyed the voice of the ,lord ,god4 ,thus saith the ,lord ,god1 ,i will even deal with thee as thou hast done1 who hast despised the oath in breaking the covenant4 ,nevertheless1 ,i will remember my covenant with thee in the days of thy youth2 and ,i will establish unto thee an everlasting covenant1 and thou shalt know that ,i am the ,lord4 ,that thou mayest remember and be confounded1 and never open thy mouth any more1 because of thy shame1 when ,i am pacified towards thee1 saith the ,lord ,god4' ,amen1 ,lord ,god1 merciful and gracious4 ,be it so4 ,it is so now--it must1 it will be so1 until death shall open mine eyes on that mystery3 ,the glory of ,god arising out of the abounding of sin1 through the superabounding of grace1 and grace reigning through righteousness unto eternal life1 by ,jesus ,christ our ,lord6 ,till then1 while sin dwelleth in me1 let me enjoy the blessedness of a contrite heart2 yea1 even shame and confusion1 since it is the sign that thou art pacified with me4 ,thou hast dealt with me1 thou hast chastened1 and in some instances taken vengeance on my inventions4 ,but thou art pacified with me1 and ,i dare look again to thy holy temple1 to the temple not made with hands1 to the minister of the sanctuary1 and the true tabernacle which the ,lord pitched1 and not man2 to the blessed ,high-priest1 who through the eternal ,spirit offered himself a sacrifice without spot unto ,god1 and by his own blood entered in once into the holy place1 having obtained eternal redemption for us1 and when he had purged our sins1 sat down on the right hand of the ,majesty on high2 to the blessed ,mediator of the new and better covenant1 established on better promises2 to the ,surety of the new testament1 and sealed with his own blood4 ,oh1 ,i will look unto ,jesus1 the object1 the author1 and the finisher of that faith which interests us in himself and the whole of his purchase4 ,he bids me look unto him1 and be saved4 ,i do look unto him1 and ,i am saved4 ,who dares condemn the sinner whom ,christ acquits8 ,who shall lay any thing to his charge8 ',it is ,christ that died2 yea1 rather1 who is risen again2 who is even at the right hand of ,god2 who also maketh intercession for us4' ,,isaiah #dd3bb4 ,,return ,,unto ,,me4 ,a ,,scripture ,,paraphrase ,,by ,d4 ,b---- ,return to thee1 my ,god8 dost thou ,the invitation yet renew8 ,return to thee6 my chiefest joy1 ,till sin did all my peace destroy4 ,and yet1 to hear thy pardoning voice ,must make my trembling heart rejoice2 ,though sin is there1 thou well dost know ,it is my burden and my foe4 ,o let me hear those gracious words3 ,be still1 my soul1 they are the ,lord's2 ,that ,god1 who once on thee did shine1 ,and filled thee with a hope divine4 ',thy black transgressions1 trembling soul-- ,thy sins so heinous and so foul1 ,which like a cloud obscure thy day1 ,i've blotted out1 ,i've washed away4 ',return to me1 thou 'rt mine2 ,i own ,thee for my servant1 and my son2 ,i have redeemed thy precious soul1 ,and none my purchase shall control4' ,i hear1 ,i come1 my covenant ,god3 ,thy love's my life1 my raiment1 food2 ,thy favor1 through my ,jesus given1 ,is to my soul the bliss of heaven4 ,i come1 my ,jesus2 hold me fast1 ,till1 life and ,jordan's journey past1 ,my faith to vision yield her place1 ,and ,i shall see thy unveiled face4 ,then1 with the loudest of the throng1 ,of sins forgiven ,i'll raise the song-- ,of pardon bought with ,jesus' blood1 ,sinners made kings and priests to ,god4 ,,psalm #ajc4 ,,fifty ,,years ,,ago4 ,oh thou1 my soul1 bless ,god the ,lord1 ,and all that in me is ,be stirrd up1 his holy name ,to magnify and bless1 etc4 ',i will not leave you comfortless2 ,i will come to you4 ,yet a little while1 and the world seeth me no more2 but ye see me3 because ,i live1 ye shall live also4 ,at that day ye shall know that ,i am in my ,father1 and ye in me1 and ,i in you4 ,believest thou not that ,i am in the ,father1 and the ,father in me8 ,he that hath seen me1 hath seen the ,father4 ,howbeit1 when the ,spirit of truth is come1 he will guide you into all truth4 ,he shall glorify me2 for he shall receive of mine1 and shall show it unto you4 ,all things that the ,father hath are mine2 therefore said ,i1 that he shall take of mine1 and shall show it unto you4' ,john #ad2 #af3ad4 ',neither pray ,i for these alone1 but for them also which shall believe on me through their word2 that they all may be one2 as thou1 ,father1 art in me and ,i in thee1 that they may be one in us3 that the world may believe that thou hast sent me4 ,and the glory which thou gavest me ,i have given them1 that they may be one1 even as we are one1 ,i in them and thou in me1 that they may be made perfect in one2 that the world may know that thou hast sent me1 and hast loved them as thou hast loved me4 ,father1 ,i will that they also1 whom thou hast given me1 be with me where ,i am1 that they may behold my glory1 which thou hast given me2 for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world4' ,john #ag3bj1 etc4 ',all are yours2 and ye are ,christ's2 and ,christ is ,god's4' #a ,cor4 #c3bb4 ',ye are dead1 and your life is hid with ,christ in ,god4 ,when ,christ1 who is our life1 shall appear1 then shall ye also appear with him in glory4' ,col4 #c3c4 ',for in him dwelleth all the fulness of the ,godhead bodily4 ,and ye are complete in him1 which is the head of all principality and power4' ,col4 #b3i4 ',there is one body1 and one ,spirit1 even as ye are called in one hope of your calling3 one ,lord1 one faith1 one baptism1 one ,god and ,father of all1 who is above all1 and through all1 and in you all4 ,but unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of ,christ4' ,eph4 #d3d4 ',i am crucified with ,christ3 nevertheless ,i live2 yet not ,i1 but ,christ liveth in me2 and the life which ,i now live in the flesh1 ,i live by the faith of the ,son of ,god1 who loved me1 and gave himself for me1' ,gal4 #b3 #bj4 ',behold the ,lamb of ,god1 which taketh away the sin of the world6 ,and looking upon ,jesus as he walked1 ,john saith1 ,behold the ,lamb of ,god6' ,john #a3bi1 #cf4 ',therefore let no man glory in men3 for all things are yours2 whether ,paul1 or ,apollos1 or ,cephas1 or the world1 or life1 or death1 or things present1 or things to come2 all are yours2 and ye are ,christ's2 and ,christ is ,god's1' #a ,cor4 #c3ba4 ',it is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth4 ,he sitteth alone and keepeth silence2 he putteth his mouth in the dust1 if so be there may be hope2 he giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him3 he is filled full with reproach4' ,lam4 #c3bg4 ',that thou mayest remember1 and be confounded1 and never open thy mouth any more1 because of thy shame1 when ,i am pacified toward thee for all that thou hast done1 saith the ,lord4' ,ezek4 #af3fc4 ,amen4 ',a day of darkness and of gloominess1 a day of clouds and of thick darkness1 as the morning spread upon the mountains4 ,therefore1 also now1 saith the ,lord1 turn ye unto me with all your heart1 with fasting1 with weeping1 and with mourning4 ,rend your heart1 and not your garments1 and turn unto the ,lord your ,god2 for he is gracious and merciful1 slow to anger1 and of great kindness1 and repenteth him of the evil1' ,joel #b3b1 #ab4 ',i will visit upon her the days of ,baalim3 she went after her lovers1 and forgat me1 saith the ,lord4 ,i will allure her1 and bring her into the wilderness1 and speak comfortably unto her4 ,and ,i will betroth thee unto me for ever2 yea1 ,i will betroth thee unto me in righteousness1 and in judgment1 and in loving-kindness1 and in mercies4 ,i will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness3 and thou shalt know the ,lord4' ,hosea #b3ac4 ',o ,israel1 thou hast destroyed thyself2 but in me is thy help4' ',return unto the ,lord thy ,god1 for thou hast fallen by thine iniquity4 ,take with you words1 and turn to the ,lord2 say unto him1 ,take away all iniquity1 and receive us graciously3 so will we render the calves of our lips4 ,ashur shall not save us2 we will not ride upon horses3 neither will we say any more to the work of our hands1 ,ye are our gods3 for in thee the fatherless findeth mercy4' ,hosea #ac3ad4 ',i will heal their backsliding1 ,i will love them freely2 for mine anger is turned away from him4 ,i will be as the dew unto ,israel2 he shall grow as the lily1 and cast forth his roots as ,lebanon4 ,ephraim shall say1 ,what have ,i to do any more with idols8 ,i have heard him1 and observed him4 ,i am like a green fir-tree2 from me is thy fruit found4' ,hosea #ad4 ',o ,lord1 to us belongeth confusion of face1 because we have sinned against thee4 ,to the ,lord our ,god belong mercies and forgiveness1 though we have rebelled against him4' ,daniel #i4 ',he shall feed his flock like a shepherd3 he shall gather the lambs in his arms1 and carry them in his bosom2 and shall gently lead those that are with young4 ,why sayest thou1 ,o ,jacob1 and speakest1 ,o ,israel1 ,my way is hid from the ,lord1 and my judgment is passed over from my ,god8 ,hast thou not known1 hast thou not heard1 that the everlasting ,god fainteth not1 neither is weary8 there is no searching of his understanding4 ,he giveth power to the faint2 and to them that have no might he increaseth strength4 ,even the youths shall faint and be weary1 and the young men shall utterly fall2 but they that wait upon the ,lord shall renew their strength2 they shall mount up with wings as eagles2 they shall run1 and not be weary2 they shall walk1 and not faint4' ,isa4 #dj3aa1 etc4 ',who gave ,jacob for a spoil1 and ,israel to the robbers8 ,did not the ,lord1 he against whom we have sinned8 ,for they would not walk in his ways1 neither were they obedient to his law4 ,therefore he hath poured upon him the fury of his anger1 and the strength of battle3 and it hath set him on fire round about1 yet he knew not2 and it burned him1 yet he laid it not to heart4 ,but now thus saith the ,lord that created thee1 ,o ,jacob1 and he that formed thee1 ,o ,israel1 ,fear not2 for ,i have redeemed thee1 ,i have called thee by thy name2 thou art mine4 ,when thou passest through the waters1 ,i will be with thee2 and through the rivers1 they shall not overflow thee3 when thou walkest through the fire1 thou shalt not be burnt2 neither shall the flame kindle upon thee4 ,for ,i am the ,lord thy ,god1 the ,holy ,one of ,israel1 thy ,saviour4 ,since thou wast precious in my sight thou hast been honorable1 and ,i have loved thee4' ,isa4 #db3bd1 etc4 ,yes1 my ,god1 ,i remember and am confounded2 amazed at my ingratitude1 amazed at thy grace4 ,i am thy witness1 just so has been thy way with me4 ,what can ,i say8 ,thou hast wrought with me for thy name's sake4 ,i am dumb before thee2 ,oh1 ,i am vile--and yet ,i am thine6 ,thou hast redeemed me2 it is thy good pleasure to save me4 ,glorify thy name4 ',i have blotted out1 as a thick cloud1 thy transgressions1 and as a cloud1 thy sins3 return unto me2 for ,i have redeemed thee4 ,sing1 ,o ye heavens2 for the ,lord hath done it3 shout1 ye lower parts of the earth3 break forth into singing1 ye mountains1 ,o forest and every green tree therein2 for the ,lord hath redeemed ,jacob1 and glorified himself in ,israel4' ',for if by one man's offence1 death reigned by one2 much more they which receive abundance of grace1 and of the gift of righteousness1 shall reign in life by one1 ,christ ,jesus4 ,where sin abounded1 grace did much more abound3 that as sin hath reigned unto death1 so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life1 by ,jesus ,christ our ,lord4' ',look unto me1 and be ye saved1 all the ends of the earth3 for ,i am ,god1 and there is none else4 ,i have sworn by myself1 the word is gone out of my mouth in righteousness1 and shall not return1 that unto me every knee shall bow1 every tongue shall swear4 ,surely shall one say1 ,in the ,lord have ,i righteousness and strength3 even to him shall men come2 and all that are incensed against him shall be ashamed4 ,in the ,lord shall all the seed of ,israel be justified1 and shall glory4' ',hearken unto me1 ,o house of ,jacob1 and all the remnant of the house of ,israel4 ,even to your old age1 ,i am he2 and even to hoar hairs will ,i carry you3 ,i have made1 and ,i will bear2 even ,i will carry1 and will deliver you4' ,isa4 #de3bb2 #df3c4 ',thus saith the ,lord2 ,i1 even ,i1 will both search my sheep1 and seek them out4 ,as a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered2 so will ,i seek out my sheep1 and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day4 ,and ,i will bring them out from the people1 and gather them to their own land1 and feed them upon the mountains of ,israel by the rivers1 and in all the inhabited places of the country4 ,and ,i will feed them in a good pasture1 and upon the high mountains of ,israel shall their fold be3 there shall they lie in a good fold1 and in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of ,israel4 ,i will feed my flock1 and ,i will cause them to lie down1 saith the ,lord ,god4 ,i will seek that which was lost1 and bring again that which was driven away1 and will bind up that which was broken1 and will strengthen that which was sick4' ,ezek4 #cd3aa4 ,he hath done it1 ,i am his witness3 ,i1 the poor wanderer1 the happy subject of this grace4 ',and ,i will raise up for them a plant of renown1' my ,jesus1 'and they shall be no 'more consumed with hunger in the land1 neither bear the shame of the heathen any more4 ,thus shall they know that ,i the ,lord their ,god am with them1 and that they1 even the house of ,israel1 are my people1 saith the ,lord ,god4 ,and ye my flock1 the flock of my pasture1 are men1 and ,i am your ,god1 saith the ,lord ,god4' ,ezek4 #cd3bi4 ',as the mountains are round about ,jerusalem1 so the ,lord is round about his people from henceforth1 even for ever4' ,psa4 #abe3b4 ',when the house of ,israel dwelt in their own land1 they defiled it by their own way and by their doings4 ,and ,i scattered them among the heathen1 and they were dispersed through the countries2 according to their ways and according to their doings ,i judged them4 ,and when they entered unto the heathen1 whither they went1 they profaned my holy name1 when they said to them1 ,these are the people of the ,lord1 and are gone forth out of his land4 ,but ,i had pity for my holy name1 which the house of ,israel had profaned among the heathen1 whither they went4 ,therefore say unto the house of ,israel1 thus saith the ,lord ,god3 ,i do not this for your sakes1 ,o house of ,israel1 but for my holy name's sake1 which ye have profaned among the heathen1 whither ye went4 ,and ,i will sanctify my great name1 which was profaned among the heathen1 which ye have profaned in the midst of them2 and the heathen shall know that ,i am the ,lord1 saith the ,lord ,god1 when ,i shall be sanctified in you before their eyes4 ,for ,i will take you from among the heathen1 and gather you out of all countries1 and will bring you into your own land4 ,then will ,i sprinkle clean water upon you1 and ye shall be clean3 from all your filthiness1 and from all your idols1 will ,i cleanse you4 ,a new heart also will ,i give you1 and a new spirit will ,i put within you3 and ,i will take away the stony heart out of your flesh1 and ,i will give you a heart of flesh4 ,and ,i will put my ,spirit within you1 and cause you to walk in my statutes1 and ye shall keep my judgments1 and do them4 ,i will also save you from all your uncleannesses3 and ,i will call for the corn1 and will increase it1 and lay no famine upon you4 ,and ,i will multiply the fruit of the tree1 and the increase of the field1 that ye shall receive no more reproach of famine among the heathen4 ,then shall ye remember your own evil ways1 and your doings that were not good1 and shall loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities1 and for your abominations4 ,not for your sakes do ,i this1 saith the ,lord ,god1 be it known unto you3 be ashamed and confounded for your own ways1 ,o house of ,israel4' ,ezek4 #cf3ag1 etc4 ,,ezekiel #af3fc2 #cf3cb4 ,a ,,scripture ,,paraphrase ,,by ,d4 ,b----4 ,not for your sakes2 for1 born unclean1 ,the slaves of ,satan and of sin4 ,i saw no comeliness in you1 ,to bid my grace such wonders do4 ,not for your sakes2 for when my love ,and grace should your affections move1 ,the working of an evil heart ,still makes you from my truth depart4 ,not for your sakes2 for1 bold and blind1 ,to lust and avarice inclined1 ,each shadowy idol you obey1 ,disowning my paternal sway4 ,not for your sakes2 with heaven in view1 ,for sin you sell your souls anew2 ,you barter1 for a gilded bait1 ,the joys of an eternal state4 ,not for your sakes2 for though you eyed ,the cross of ,christ on which he died1 ,you scorn his love for worldly ends1 ,and wound him in the house of friends4 ,not for your sakes2 with ,jesus' name1 ,you put him to an open shame2 ,and by your sins1 consent again ,to have the dear ,redeemer slain4 ,not for your sakes2 'tis my free grace ,that grants you pardon1 life1 and peace2 ,and works a change on all your frame1 ,and binds you to adore my name4 ,not for my sake6--,i hail the sound2 ,let power of grace my pride confound3 ,salvation is a work divine2 ,confusion and the shame be mine4 ,not for my sake6--did ,i but trust ,to weakness1 vanity1 and dust1 ,i ne'er could reach the heavenly prize1 ,nor hope a mansion in the skies4 ,not for my sake6--yet save and call2 ,let ,jesus be my all in all3 ,when glory comes ,i'll self disown1 ,and grace1 free grace shall wear the crown4 ',praise ye the ,lord4 ,o give thanks unto the ,lord2 for he is good3 for his mercy endureth for ever4' ,psalm #ajf3a4 ',remember me1 ,o ,lord1 with the favor that thou bearest unto thy people3 ,o visit me with thy salvation1 that ,i may see the good of thy chosen1 that ,i may rejoice in the gladness of thy nation1 that ,i may glory with thine inheritance4' ,psalm #ajf3d1 #e4 ',at that time ye were without ,christ1 being aliens from the commonwealth of ,israel1 and strangers from the covenants of promise1 having no hope1 and without ,god in the world2 but now1 in ,christ ,jesus1 ye who sometime were far off1 are made nigh by the blood of ,christ4' ,eph4 #b3ab1 #ac4 ',lord1 thou hast heard the desire of the humble3 thou wilt prepare their heart1 thou wilt cause thine ear to hear3 to judge the fatherless and the oppressed1 that the man of the earth may no more oppress4' ,psalm #aj3ag4 ',thou shalt remember all the way which the ,lord thy ,god led thee these forty years in the wilderness1 to humble thee1 to prove thee1 to know what was in thy heart1 whether thou wouldest keep his commandments1 or no4 ,and he humbled thee1 and suffered thee to hunger1 and fed thee with manna1 which thou knewest not1 neither did thy fathers know2 that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only1 but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the ,lord doth man live4 ,thy raiment waxed not old upon thee1 neither did thy foot swell1 these forty years4' ',thou shalt also consider in thy heart1 that as a man chasteneth his son1 so the ,lord thy ,god chasteneth thee4 ,therefore thou shalt keep the commandments of the ,lord thy ,god1 to walk in his ways1 and to fear him4' ,deut4 #h3b-f4 ',thou1 ,god1 seest me4' ,gen4 #af3ac4 ',blessed be the ,god and ,father of our ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in ,christ2 according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world1 that we should be holy and without blame before him in love3 having predestinated us to the adoption of sons by ,jesus ,christ to himself1 according to the good pleasure of his will1 to the praise of the glory of his grace1 wherein he hath made us accepted in the ,beloved2 in whom we have redemption through his blood1 the forgiveness of sins1 according to the riches of his grace2 wherein he hath abounded towards us in all wisdom and prudence2 having made known unto us the mystery of his will1 according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself3 that in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in ,christ1 both which are in heaven1 and which are on earth2 even in him1 in whom also we have obtained an inheritance1 being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will3 that we should be to the praise of his glory1 who first trusted in ,christ4' ,eph4 #a3c-ab4 ',god1 who is rich in mercy1 for his great love wherewith he loved us1 even when we were dead in sins1 hath quickened us together with ,christ1 7by grace ye are saved17 and hath raised us up together1 and made us sit together in heavenly places in ,christ ,jesus2 that in the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace1 in his kindness towards us1 through ,christ ,jesus4 ,for by grace are ye saved1 through faith2 and that not of yourselves1 it is the gift of ,god3 not of works1 lest any man should boast2 for we are his workmanship1 created in ,christ ,jesus unto good works1 which ,god hath before ordained that we should walk in them4 ,now therefore ye1' ,gentiles1 'are no more strangers and foreigners1 but fellow-citizens with the saints1 and of the household of ,god2 and are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets1 ,jesus ,christ himself being the chief corner-stone2 in whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto a holy temple in the ,lord3 in whom ye also are builded together for a habitation of ,god through the ,spirit4' ,eph4 #b3d1 etc4 ',i1' ,paul1 'bow my knees unto the ,father of our ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named1 that he would grant you according to the riches of his glory1 to be strengthened with might by his ,spirit in the inner man2 that ,christ may dwell in your hearts by faith2 that ye being rooted and grounded in love1 may be able to comprehend with all saints1 what is the breadth1 and length1 and depth1 and height1 and to know the love of ,christ1 which passeth knowledge1 that ye might be filled with all the fulness of ,god4 ,now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we can ask or think1 according to the power that worketh in us1 unto him be glory in the church by ,christ ,jesus1 throughout all ages1 world without end4 ,amen4' ,eph4 #c3ad-ba4 ',i therefore1 the prisoner of the ,lord1 beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called1 with all lowliness and meekness1 with long-suffering1 forbearing one another in love2 endeavoring to keep the unity of the ,spirit in the bond of peace4 ,there is one body1 and one ,spirit1 even as ye are called in one hope of your calling2 one ,lord1 one faith1 one baptism1 one ,god and ,father of all1 who is above all1 and through all1 and in you all4 ,but unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of ,christ4 ,that we may grow up into him in all things1 which is the head1 even ,christ3 from whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth'--ministers and people in the use of all appointed means--'according to the effectual working in the measure of every part1 maketh increase of the body to the edifying of itself in love4' ,eph4 #d3a1 etc4 ',i am the vine1 ye are the branches2 he that abideth in me and ,i in him1 the same bringeth forth much fruit2 for without me ye can do nothing4' ,john #ae3e1 #g4 ',and ,moses said1 ,the ,lord heareth your murmurings that ye murmur against him2 and what are we8 your murmurings are not against us1 but against the ,lord4 ,and ,moses said1 ,this is the bread which the ,lord hath given you to eat4 ,and the children of ,israel did eat manna until they came unto the borders of the land of ,canaan4' ,exodus #af4 ',i am the living bread which came down from heaven3 if any man eat of this bread1 he shall live for ever3 and the bread that ,i will give is my flesh1 which ,i will give for the life of the world4 ,he that eateth my flesh1 and drinketh my blood1 dwelleth in me1 and ,i in him4 ,the words that ,i speak unto you1 they are spirit1 and they are life4' ,john #f3ea1 etc4 ',for of him are ye in ,christ ,jesus1 who of ,god is made unto us wisdom1 and righteousness1 and sanctification1 and redemption4' #a ,cor4 #a3cj4 ',seeing then that we have a great ,high-priest1 who is passed into the heavens1 ,jesus the ,son of ,god1 let us hold fast our profession4 ,for we have not a ,high-priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities2 but was in all points tempted like as we are1 yet without sin4 ,let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace1 that we may obtain mercy1 and find grace to help in time of need4' ,heb4 #d3ad4 ',for this is the covenant that ,i will make with the house of ,israel after those days1 saith the ,lord3 ,i will put my laws into their mind1 and write them in their hearts2 and ,i will be to them a ,god1 and they shall be to me a people3 and they shall not teach every man his neighbor1 and every man his brother1 saying1 ,know the ,lord2 for all shall know me1 from the least to the greatest4 ,for ,i will be merciful to their unrighteousness1 and their sins and their iniquities will ,i remember no more4 ,in that he saith1 ,a new covenant1 he hath made the first old4 ,now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away4' ,heb4 #h3aj-ac4 ',this is the record1 that ,god hath given to us eternal life1 and this life is in his ,son4 ,he that hath the ,son hath life2 and he that hath not the ,son of ,god1 hath not life4' #a ,john #e3aa1 #ab4 ,thanks be to ,god for his unspeakable gift4' #b ,cor4 #i3ae4 ',truly my soul waiteth upon ,god2 from him cometh my salvation4 ,he is my defence2 ,i shall not be greatly moved4 ,my soul1 wait thou only upon ,god1 for my expectation is from him3 he only is my rock and my salvation2 he is my defence2 ,i shall not be moved4 ,in ,god is my salvation and my glory3 the rock of my strength1 and my refuge is in ,god4' ,psa4 #fb3a-g4 ,,rest4 ',thus the heavens and the earth were finished3 and on the seventh day ,god ended his work which he had made1 and he rested the seventh day from all his work which he had made2 and ,god blessed the seventh day1 and sanctified it1 because that in it he had rested from all his work that he had created and made4' ,genesis #b3a-c4 ',and ,moses said1 ,to-morrow is the rest of the holy ,sabbath unto the ,lord4 ,so the people rested on the seventh day4' ,exodus #af3bc1 #cj4 ',and the women followed after1 and beheld the sepulchre1 and how his body was laid4 ,and they returned1 and prepared spices and ointments2 and rested the ,sabbath day according to the commandment4' ,luke #bc3ee1 #ef4 ,christ rested in the tomb of ,joseph the last ,sabbath under the law2 but the evening and the morning were the first day4 ,on that morning he closed his work of humiliation1 manifested his victory over death--the curse denounced--by rising from the tomb1 and rested on the first day of the week from all his humiliation work2 his death1 burial1 and rest in the grave on the seventh day being the last part of that work4 ,my ,god1 thy service well demands ,the remnant of my days3 ,why is this feeble life preserved1 ,but to repeat thy praise8 ,thine arms of everlasting love ,do this weak frame sustain1 ,while life is hovering o'er the grave1 ,and nature sinks with pain4 ,thou1 when the pains of death assail1 ,wilt chase the fears of hell1 ,and teach my pale and quivering lips ,thy matchless grace to tell4 ,calmly ,i'll lay my fainting head ,on thy dear faithful breast3 ,pleased to obey my ,father's call ,to his eternal rest4 ,into thy hands1 my ,saviour ,god1 ,do ,i my soul resign1 ,in firm dependence on that truth ,that made salvation mine4 ,,the ,,inward ,,warfare4 ,strange and mysterious is my life2 ,what opposites ,i feel within3 ,a stable peace1 a constant strife1 ,the rule of grace1 the power of sin4 ,too often ,i am captive led1 ,yet daily triumph in my ,head4 ,i prize the privilege of prayer2 ,but ,o1 what backwardness to pray3 ,though on the ,lord ,i cast my care1 ,i feel its burden every day4 ,i seek his will in all ,i do1 ,yet find my own is working too4 ,i call the promises mine own1 ,and prize them more than mines of gold2 ,yet1 though their sweetness ,i have known1 ,they leave me unimpressed and cold4 ,one hour upon the truth ,i feed2 ,the next1 ,i know not what ,i read4 ,i love the holy day of rest1 ,when ,jesus meets his gathered saints3 ,sweet day1 of all the week the best1 ,for its return my spirit pants2 ,yet often1 through my unbelief1 ,it proves a day of guilt and grief4 ,while on my ,saviour ,i rely1 ,i know my foes shall lose their aim2 ,and therefore dare their power defy1 ,assured of conquest through his name2 ,but soon my confidence is slain1 ,and all my fears return again4 ,thus different powers within me strive1 ,and death and sin by turns prevail4 ,i grieve1 rejoice1 decline1 revive1 ,and victory hangs in doubtful scale2 ,but ,jesus has his promise passed1 ,that grace shall overcome at last4 ,,flesh ,,and ,,spirit4 ,what different powers of grace and sin ,attend our mortal state3 ,i hate the thoughts that work within1 ,yet do the works ,i hate4 ,now ,i complain1 and groan1 and die1 ,while sin and ,satan reign2 ,now raise my songs of triumph high1 ,for grace prevails again4 ,so darkness struggles with the light1 ,till perfect day arise2 ,water and fire maintain the fight1 ,until the weaker dies4 ,thus will the flesh and spirit strive1 ,and vex and break my peace2 ,but ,i shall quit this mortal life1 ,and sin for ever cease4 ,join all the names of love and power ,that ever men or angels bore2 ,all are too mean to speak his worth1 ,or set ,emmanuel's glory forth4 ,but ,o1 what condescending ways ,he takes to teach his heavenly grace3 ,mine eyes1 with joy and wonder1 see ,what forms of love he bears for me4 ,the ,angel of the covenant stands1 ,with his commission in his hands2 ,sent from his ,father's milder throne1 ,to make his great salvation known4 ,great ,prophet1 let me bless thy name2 ,by thee the joyful tidings came1 ,of wrath appeased and sins forgiven1 ,of hell subdued1 and peace with heaven4 ,my bright ,example1 and my ,guide1 ,i would be walking by thy side2 ,oh1 let me never run astray1 ,nor follow the forbidden way4 ,i love my ,shepherd1 he shall keep ,my wandering soul among his sheep2 ,he feeds his flock1 he tells their names1 ,and in his bosom bears the lambs4 ,my ,surety undertakes my cause1 ,answering his ,father's broken laws3 ,behold my soul at freedom set1 ,my ,surety paid the dreadful debt4 ,jesus1 my great ,high-priest1 has died1 ,i seek no sacrifice beside2 ,his blood did once for all atone1 ,and now it pleads before the throne4 ,my ,advocate appears on high1 ,the ,father lays his thunders by2 ,not all that earth or hell can say1 ,shall turn my ,father's heart away4 ,my ,lord1 my ,conqueror1 and my ,king1 ,thy sceptre and thy sword ,i sing2 ,thine is the victory1 and ,i sit ,a joyful subject at thy feet4 ,aspire1 my soul1 to glorious deeds1 ,the ,captain of salvation leads2 ,march on1 nor fear to win the day1 ,though death and hell obstruct thy way4 ,though death and hell1 and powers unknown1 ,put all their forms of mischief on1 ,i shall be safe1 for ,christ displays ,salvation in more sovereign ways4 ,be this my one great business here1 ,with holy trembling1 holy fear1 ,to make my calling sure2 ,thine utmost counsel to fulfil1 ,and suffer all thy righteous will1 ,and to the end endure4 ,then1 ,saviour1 then my soul receive1 ,transported from this vale1 to live1 ,and reign with thee above3 ,where faith is sweetly lost in sight1 ,and hope in full supreme delight1 ,and everlasting love4 ,hush1 my distrustful heart1 ,and cease to flow1 my tears2 ,for greater1 ,lord1 thou art ,than all my doubts and fears4 ,did ,jesus once upon me shine8 ,then ,jesus is for ever mine4 ,unchangeable his will1 ,whatever be my frame3 ,my ,saviour's heart is still ,eternally the same4 ,my soul through many changes goes1 ,his love no variation knows4 ,thou1 ,lord1 wilt carry on1 ,and perfectly perform1 ,the work thou hast begun ,in me1 vile sinful worm4 ,mine own self-will brings grief and woe1 ,but ,jesus will not let me go4 ,the bowels of thy grace1 ,at first did freely move2 ,and still ,i see thy face1 ,and feel that ,god is love4 ,into thine arms my soul ,i cast2 ,by sovereign mercy saved at last4 ,the ,priest and ,ark now move ,to ,jordan's gulfy strand2 ,come now in covenant love1 ,take firm thy promised stand3 ,only to me thy countenance show1 ,i ask no more the ,jordan through4 ,come1 let us join our cheerful songs ,with angels round the throne2 ,ten thousand thousand are their tongues1 ,but all their joys are one4 ,worthy the ,lamb that died1 they cry1 ,to be exalted thus2 ,worthy the ,lamb1 our souls reply1 ,for he was slain for us4 ,jesus is worthy to receive ,honor and power divine2 ,and blessings1 more than we can give1 ,be1 ,lord1 for ever thine4 ,the whole creation join in one1 ,to bless the sacred name ,of ,him that sits upon the throne1 ,and to adore the ,lamb4 ,give me the wings of faith1 to rise ,within the veil1 and see ,the saints above1 how great their joys1 ,how bright their glories be4 ,once they were mourners here below1 ,and wet their couch with tears2 ,they wrestled hard1 as we do now1 ,with sins1 and doubts1 and fears4 ,i ask them whence their victory came3 ,they1 with united breath1 ,ascribe their conquest to the ,lamb1 ,their triumph to his death4 ,they marked the footsteps that he trod2 ,his zeal inspired their breast2 ,and following their incarnate ,god1 ,possessed the promised rest4 ,our glorious ,leader claims our praise1 ,for his own pattern given2 ,while the long cloud of witnesses ,show the same path to heaven4 ,with heart and hands1 and lifted eyes1 ,i'll praise thee while ,i've life and breath2 ,and1 while my loosened spirit flies1 ,i'll gasp thy praise in very death4 ,faith fain would say1 in cheerful mood1 ,thy name be glorified1 ,by leading through the swelling flood1 ,or through the channel dried4 ,if grace in time of need ,i have1 ,and strength as is my day1 ,i'll triumph through the foaming wave1 ,as through the side-walled way4 ,i'll praise my ,maker while ,i've breath2 ,and when my voice is lost in death1 ,praise shall employ my noblest powers2 ,my days of praise shall ne'er be past1 ,while life and thought and being last4 ,and immortality endures4 ,my ,god1 indulge my humble claim2 ,thou art my hope1 my joy1 my rest2 ,the glories that compose thy name ,stand all engaged to make me blest4 ,thou great and good1 thou just and wise1 ,thou art my ,father and my ,god2 ,and ,i am thine by sacred ties1 ,thy child1 thy servant1 bought with blood4 ,with heart1 and eyes1 and lifted hands1 ,for thee ,i long1 to thee ,i look2 ,as travellers in thirsty lands ,pant for the cooling water-brook4 ,jesus1 the weary wanderer's rest1 ,give grace thy sovereign will to bear2 ,with steadfast patience arm my breast1 ,with holy love and lowly fear4 ,thankful1 ,i take the cup from thee1 ,prepared and mingled by thy skill2 ,though bitter to the taste it be1 ,it has a sovereign power to heal4 ,be thou a ,rock of ages nigh2 ,my savd soul on thee alone ,shall safely rest1 and fears shall fly1 ,as clouds before the mid-day sun4 ,speak to my troubled conscience peace2 ,say to my trembling heart1 ,be still2 ,my power thy strength and fortress is4 ,amen1 to all thy sovereign will4 ,o ,death1 where is thy sting8 where now ,thy boasted victory1 ,o grave8 ,who shall contend with ,god1 or who ,condemn whom he delights to save4 ,how sweet the name of ,jesus sounds ,in a believer's ear3 ,it soothes his sorrows1 heals his wounds1 ,and drives away his fear4 ,it makes the wounded spirit whole1 ,and calms the troubled breast2 ',tis manna to the hungry soul1 ,and to the weary1 rest4 ,dear ,name1 the ,rock on which ,i build1 ,my ,shield and ,hiding-place2 ,my never failing ,treasury1 filled ,with boundless stores of grace3 ,jesus1 my ,shepherd1 ,husband1 ,friend1 ,my ,prophet1 ,priest1 and ,king1 ,my ,lord1 my ,life1 my ,way1 my ,end1 ,accept the praise ,i bring4 ,weak is the effort of my heart1 ,and cold my warmest thought2 ,but when ,i see thee as thou art1 ,i'll praise thee as ,i ought4 ,till then ,i would thy love proclaim ,with every fleeting breath2 ,and may the music of thy name ,refresh my soul in death4 ,amazing grace6 how sweet the sound ,that saved a wretch like me3 ,i once was lost1 but now am found2 ,was blind1 but now ,i see4 ',twas grace that taught my heart to fear1 ,and grace my fears relieved3 ,how precious did that grace appear ,the hour ,i first believed4 ,through many dangers1 toils1 and snares1 ,already ,i have come3 ',twas grace that brought me safe thus far1 ,and grace will lead me home4 ,yes1 when this heart and flesh shall fail1 ,and mortal life shall cease1 ,i shall possess1 within the veil1 ,a life of joy and peace4 ,a swelling ,jordan rolls between-- ,a timid pilgrim1 ,i2 ,but grace shall order all the scene1 ,and ,christ himself be nigh4 ,he shall roll back the foaming wave1 ,command the channel dry2 ,no sting has death1 no victory grave8 ,with ,jesus in my eye4 ,come1 thou ,fount of every blessing1 ,tune my heart to sing thy grace2 ,streams of mercy1 never ceasing1 ,call for songs of endless praise4 ,teach me some melodious sonnet1 ,sung by flaming tongues above2 ,praise the mount1 ,i'm fixed upon it-- ,mount of ,god's unchanging love4 ,here ,i raise my ,ebenezer1 ,hither by thy help ,i'm come1 ,and ,i hope1 by thy good pleasure1 ,safely to arrive at home4 ,jesus sought me when a stranger1 ,wandering from the fold of ,god2 ,he1 to save my soul from danger1 ,interposed with precious blood4 ,oh1 to grace how great a debtor ,daily ,i'm constrained to be3 ,let that grace1 ,lord1 like a fetter1 ,bind my wandering heart to thee4 ,prone to wander1 ,lord1 ,i feel it1 ,prone to leave the ,god ,i love2 ,here's my heart1 ,o take and seal it1 ,seal it from thy courts above4 ,eternal ,god1 ,i bless thy name1 ,the same thy power1 thy grace the same2 ,the tokens of thy friendly care ,open and crown and close the year4 ,i mid ten thousand dangers stand1 ,supported by thy gracious hand2 ,and see1 when ,i survey thy ways1 ,ten thousand monuments of grace4 ,thus far thine arm has led me on2 ,thus far ,i make thy mercy known2 ,and while ,i tread this desert land1 ,new mercies shall new songs demand4 ,my grateful soul on ,jordan's shore ,shall raise one sacred pillar more2 ,then bear1 in thy bright courts above1 ,inscriptions of immortal love4 ,no works to rest upon have ,i1 ,no boast of moral dignity2 ,if e'er ,i lisp a song of praise1 ,grace is the note my soul shall raise4 ',twas grace that quickened me when dead2 ',twas grace my soul to ,jesus led1 ,grace brings me pardon for my sin1 ,and grace subdues my lusts within4 ',tis grace that sweetens every cross1 ',tis grace supports in every loss2 ,in ,jesus' grace my soul is strong1 ,grace is my hope1 and ,christ my song4 ,thus1 'tis alone of grace ,i boast1 ,and 'tis alone in grace ,i trust3 ,for all that's past1 grace is my theme1 ,for what's to come 'tis still the same4 ,and when ,i come to ,jordan's shore1 ,i'll raise one ,ebenezer more2 ,th' ark of the covenant in my view1 ,i'll sing of grace the ,jordan through4 ,is this the kind return1 ,are these the thanks we owe-- ,thus to abuse eternal love1 ,whence all our blessings flow8 ,to what a stubborn frame ,has sin reduced our mind6 ,what strange rebellious wretches we1 ,and ,god as strangely kind6 ,turn1 turn us1 mighty ,god6 ,and mould our souls afresh2 ,break1 sovereign grace1 these hearts of stone1 ,and give us hearts of flesh4 ,let past ingratitude ,provoke our weeping eyes2 ,and hourly1 as new mercies fall1 ,let hourly thanks arise4 ,o the sweet wonders of that cross1 ,where ,christ my ,saviour loved and died2 ,her noblest life my spirit draws1 ,from his dear wounds and bleeding side4 ,i would for ever speak his name1 ,in sounds to mortal ears unknown2 ,with angels join to praise the ,lamb1 ,and worship at his ,father's throne4 ,jesus1 the vision of thy face ,hath overpowering charms2 ,scarce shall ,i feel death's cold embrace1 ,if ,christ be in my arms4 ,o glorious hour6 ,o blest abode6 ,i shall be near and like my ,god2 ,and flesh and sin no more control ,the sacred pleasures of my soul4 ,when in death's gloomy vale ,i tread1 ,with joy e'en there ,i'll lift my head2 ,from fear and dread he'll keep me free1 ,his rod and staff shall comfort me4 ,jesus1 to thy dear faithful hand ,my naked soul ,i trust2 ,my flesh but waits for thy command1 ,to drop into the dust4 ,before we quite forsake our clay1 ,or leave this dark abode1 ,the wings of love bear us away ,to see our smiling ,god4 ,o make it true1 my ,saviour ,god2 ,raise me all fears above2 ,and when ,i think on ,jesus' blood1 ,let my last pulse beat love4 ,o for an overcoming faith1 ,to cheer my dying hours2 ,to triumph o'er the monster ,death1 ,and all his frightful powers4 ,joyful1 with all the strength ,i have1 ,my quivering lips should sing1 ',where is thy boasted victory1 ,grave1 ,and where the monster's sting8' ,if sin be pardoned1 ,i'm secure2 ,death has no sting beside2 ,the law gives sin its damning power1 ,but ,christ1 my ,ransom1 died4 ,now to the ,god of victory1 ,immortal thanks be paid2 ,who makes us conquerors while we die1 ,through ,christ1 our living ,head4 ,all mortal vanities be gone1 ,nor tempt mine eyes1 nor tire mine ears2 ,behold1 amidst the eternal throne1 ,a vision of the ,lamb appears4 ,all the assembling saints around1 ,fall worshipping before the ,lamb2 ,and in new songs of gospel sound1 ,address their honors to his name4 ,our voices join the heavenly strain1 ,and with transporting pleasure sing1 ,worthy the ,lamb that once was slain1 ,our blessed ,prophet1 ,priest1 and ,king4 ,thou hast redeemed our souls from hell1 ,with thine invaluable blood2 ,and wretches1 that did once rebel1 ,are now made fav'rites of their ,god4 ,worthy for ever is the ,lord1 ,that died for treasons not his own1 ,by every tongue to be adored1 ,and dwell upon his ,father's throne4 ,,the ,,new ,,testament ,,in ,,the ,,blood ,,of ,,christ4 ,the promise of my ,father's love1 ,shall stand for ever good2 ,he said1 and gave his soul to death1 ,and sealed it with his blood4 ,to this dear covenant of thy word1 ,i set my worthless name2 ,i seal the engagement of the ,lord1 ,and make my humble claim4 ,the light1 and strength1 and pardoning grace1 ,and glory shall be mine2 ,my life and soul1 my heart and flesh1 ,and all my powers are thine4 ,i call that legacy mine own1 ,which ,jesus did bequeath2 ',twas purchased with a dying groan1 ,and ratified in death4 ,sweet is the memory of ,his name1 ,who blessed us in his will3 ,and to his testament of love ,made his own life the seal4 ,to him that washed me in his blood1 ,be everlasting praise2 ,salvation1 honor1 glory1 power1 ,eternal as his days4 ,blest be the ,father1 and his love1 ,to which celestial source we owe ,rivers of endless joys above1 ,and rills of comfort here below4 ,glory to the great ,son of ,god2 ,from his dear wounded body rolls ,a precious stream of vital blood1 ,pardon and life for dying souls4 ,we give thee1 sacred ,spirit1 praise1 ,who in our hearts of sin and woe ,mak'st living springs of grace arise1 ,and into boundless glory flow4 ,thus ,god the ,father1 ,god the ,son1 ,and ,god the ,spirit1 we adore2 ,the sea of life and love unknown1 ,without a bottom or a shore4 ,let me but hear my ,saviour say1 ,strength shall be equal to thy day2 ,then ,i rejoice in deep distress1 ,leaning on all-sufficient grace4 ,i glory in infirmity1 ,that ,christ's own power may rest on me3 ,when ,i am weak1 then am ,i strong2 ,grace is my shield1 and ,christ my song4 ,i can do all things1 or can bear ,all sufferings1 if my ,lord be there2 ,sweet pleasures mingle with the pains1 ,while his strong hand my head sustains4 ,faith has an overcoming power1 ,it triumphs in the dying hour2 ,christ is our life1 our joy1 our hope1 ,nor can we sink with such a prop4 ,jesus1 ,i love thy charming name1 ',tis music to mine ear2 ,fain would ,i sound it out so loud ,that heaven and earth should hear4 ,yes1 thou art precious to my soul1 ,my transport and my trust2 ,my ,saviour1 ,shepherd1 ,husband1 ,friend1 ,no other good ,i boast4 ,all my capacious powers can wish1 ,in thee doth richly meet2 ,not to mine eye is light so dear1 ,nor friendship half so sweet4 ,thy grace still dwells upon my heart1 ,and sheds its fragrance there3 ,the noblest balm of all my wounds1 ,the cordial of my care4 ,i'll speak the honors of thy name ,with my last faltering breath2 ,then speechless clasp thee in my arms1 ,the antidote of death4 ,grace1 'tis a charming sound1 ,harmonious to my ear2 ,heaven with the echo shall resound1 ,and all the earth shall hear4 ,grace first contrived the way ,to save rebellious man2 ,and all the steps that grace display1 ,which drew the wondrous plan4 ,grace taught my wandering feet ,to tread the heavenly road2 ,and new supplies each hour ,i meet1 ,while pressing on to ,god4 ,grace all the work shall crown1 ,through everlasting days2 ,it lays in heaven the topmost stone1 ,and well deserves the praise4 ,my ,god1 the spring of all my joys1 ,the life of my delights1 ,the glory of my brightest days1 ,and comfort of my nights3 ,in darkest shades1 if thou appear1 ,my dawning is begun2 ,thou art my soul's sweet ,morning-star1 ,and thou my rising ,sun4 ,the opening heavens around me shine ,with beams of sacred bliss1 ,while ,jesus shows his heart is mine1 ,and whispers ,i am his4 ,my soul would leave this heavy clay1 ,at that transporting word2 ,run up with joy the shining way1 ,t' embrace my dearest ,lord4 ,fearless of hell and ghastly death1 ,i'd break through every foe2 ,the wings of love1 and arms of faith1 ,should bear me conqueror through4 ,backward with humble shame ,i look1 ,on my original2 ,how is my nature dashed and broke1 ,in our first father's fall4 ,to all that's good averse and blind1 ,but prone to all that's ill2 ,what dreadful darkness veils my mind1 ,how obstinate my will4 ,conceived in sin3 ,o wretched state2 ,before ,i drew my breath1 ,my first young pulse began to beat ,iniquity and death4 ,how strong in my degenerate blood ,the old corruption reigns2 ,and mingling with the crooked flood1 ,wanders through all my veins4 ,yet1 mighty ,god1 thy wondrous love ,can make my nature clean2 ,while ,christ and grace prevail above ,the tempter1 death1 and sin4 ,the second ,adam shall restore ,the ruins of the first2 ,hosanna to that sovereign power1 ,that new-creates our dust4 ,,jordan499 ,joshua #a3aa1 chapter #c2 ,psalm #bc3d2 #gc3bd4 99,the three following effusions by ,mrs4 ,graham1 constituting a part of her ,provision1 were found in a separate paper after her funeral sermon was preached4 ,the hymn of ,newton which she had annexed to the first1 was selected by ,dr4 ,mason and sung on that occasion2 and the circumstances described at the beginning of the third1 page #dcd1 occurred at her death1 as narrated in the memoir1 though the existence of this paper was then unknown4 ,the solemn hour1 my soul1 draws near1 ,the holy ark and priests appear2 ,they forward move to ,jordan's flood1 ,the type1 thou knowest1 thy covenant ,god4 ,the signal too to thee is known2 ,obey1 remove1 and follow on2 ,the ark appears1 thy hallowed guide2 ,shrink not1 but face the rolling tide4 ,the waves toss high their foaming heads1 ,but can'st thou perish8 ,jesus leads4 ,this way before ,i ne'er did pass1 ,but ,jesus thy forerunner has4 ,when all its banks it overflowed1 ,all nature wrapt in midnight cloud2 ,while darkness held its awful power1 ,and all ,god's billows passed him o'er4 ,the waves for him must not divide1 ,deep calls to deep on every side2 ,around his head the surges roll1 ,and rush into his inmost soul4 ,he was the sufferer in my stead1 ,the curse for sin lay on his head2 ,the law's demands came like a flood1 ,my ,surety met them with his blood4 ,till every tittle had been paid1 ,till due atonement had been made1 ,no beam appeared of heavenly grace1 ,a cloud concealed his ,father's face4 ,from brim to bottom he drank up ,of wrath the deep mysterious cup2 ,this ,jordan passed1 he rose on high1 ,and captive led captivity4 ,justice now fully satisfied1 ,the law now honored1 magnified1 ,at ,god's right hand he takes his place1 ,executor of covenant grace4 ,crowned by ,jehovah's firm decree ,with universal sovereignty1 ,all nature owns his powerful sway-- ,he speaks1 the elements obey4 ,the emblem then thou may'st pursue1 ,and safely pass this ,jordan through2 ,the priests but touch the watery space1 ,when1 lo1 the floods desert their place4 ,they gather up upon a heap1 ,leave dry the channel of the deep2 ,the ark and priests there take their stand1 ,and beckon thee to leave the land4 ,i come1 my best ,beloved1 ,i come2 ,now lead me to our ,father's home2 ,on thy dear person fix mine eye1 ,and faith firm footing shall supply4 ,i fear no ill while thou art near2 ,but let thy voice salute my ear1 ,should spirits faint and 'scape the sigh1 ,with these sweet words1 ,fear not2 'tis ,i4 ,with courage fresh my soul shall tread ,on faith's firm ground where thou dost lead2 ,while still upon thy gracious face ,my steady eye maintains its place4 ,and now1 my ,joshua1 choose1 and lay ,the stones in ,jordan's middle way2 ,let them o'ertop the flowing wave1 ,memorial of thy power to save4 ,for1 once a suit ,i did prefer1 ,with feeble hope and trembling fear1 ,that ,i might have a ,pisgah view1 ,in ,jordan's swells1 of ,canaan new4 ,thy softened glory let me see1 ,then cause thy face to shine on me2 ,and tune my heart1 and tune my voice1 ,and language furnish to rejoice4 ,that all around may lend their tongue1 ,and sweetly join my dying song2 ,then1 ,newton1 saved by grace like me1 ,we'll sing of sovereign grace with thee4 99,let us love1 and sing1 and wonder1 ,let us praise the ,saviour's name2 ,he has hushed the law's loud thunder1 ,he has quenched mount ,sinai's flame2 ,he has washed us in his blood1 ,he has brought us nigh to ,god4 99,olney ,hymns1 #hb1 book #c4 ,let us love the ,lord who bought us1 ,pitied us when enemies2 ,called us by his grace1 and taught us2 ,gave us ears1 and gave us eyes3 ,he has wafted us in his blood1 ,he presents our souls to ,god4 ,let us sing1 though strong temptation ,threaten hard to bear us down3 ,for the ,lord1 our strong salvation1 ,holds in view the conqueror's crown1 ,he who washed us in his blood1 ,soon shall bring us home to ,god4 ,let us wonder1 grace and justice ,join and point to mercy's store2 ,when through grace1 in ,christ our trust is1 ,justice smiles1 and asks no more4 ,he who washed us in his blood1 ,has secured our way to ,god4 ,let us praise1 and join the chorus ,of the saints enthroned on high2 ,here they trusted him before us1 ,now their praises fill the sky4 ,thou hast washed us in thy blood1 ,thou art worthy1 ,lamb of ,god4 ,hark1 the name of ,jesus sounded ,loud from golden harps above2 ,on that rock our hopes are founded2 ,sovereign grace1 and sovereign love4 ,we shall conquer through his blood1 ,kings and priests be made to ,god4 ,,newton ,,heaven4 ,to be where thou my ,saviour art1 ,to see1 and be conformed to thee1 ,perfect in holiness this heart2 ,this2 this is heaven itself to me4 ,to see thee in thy glory1 ,lord1 ,thy ,father's glory and thy own2 ,the eternal1 the incarnate ,word1 ,adored upon his ,father's throne4 ,to see as seen1 to know as known1 ,my ,saviour in my flesh and blood2 ,to be made like him1 with him one1 ,i in him1 and he in ,god4 ,the holy1 holy1 holy ,one1 ,who was1 and is1 and is to come1 ,the earth his footstool1 heaven his throne1 ,the church his bride1 he her ,bridegroom4 ,angels and elders1 earth and heaven1 ,are summoned to unseal the book2 ,but silent all1 no answer given1 ,none worthy found therein to look4 ,but ,judah's ,lion1 ,david's ,son1 ,and ,david's ,root1 the great ,i ,,am1 ,appears upon his ,father's throne1 ,as slain for sacrifice1 the ,lamb4 ,he takes the book he can unseal2 ,he worthy is1 and he has power ,god's secret counsels to reveal1 ,and to fulfil each in its hour4 ,the heavenly host united fall ,in humble worship at his feet2 ,one glorious theme inspires them all1 ,the joy is full1 the concert sweet4 ,new odors to the throne ascend1 ,in accents new their praises soar2 ,each finds in each a glowing friend1 ,and all the ,god of all adore4 ,and shall ,i join that prostrate throng1 ,in love's ecstatic heaven-taught lays1 ,with powers expanded1 that new song ,hymn to the ,lamb's exalted praise8 ,worthy art thou to take the book1 ,and loose the seals1 and read therein1 ,god's holy mysteries to unlock2 ,worthy art thou1 for thou wast slain4 ,thou hast redeemed us with thy blood1 ,from every nation of the earth2 ,and made us kings and priests to ,god1 ,and sharers of a heavenly birth4 ,myriads of angels stand around1 ,uniting in the loud acclaim2 ,and fill the temple with the sound ,of our ,redeemer's gentle name4 ,worthy the ,lamb that once was slain1 ,a sacrifice for every sin1 ,all power and glory to obtain1 ,and universal empire win4 ,heaven1 earth1 and sea shall swell the tone ,of fervent universal praise2 ,and grateful joy around the throne1 ,its voice from age to age shall raise4 ,in all these myriads1 is there one ,who had on earth so much forgiven8 ,and shall ,i reach their highest tone ,of love to ,jesus8 ,,this ,,is ,,heaven4 ,and when this breast to heave shall cease1 ,and heart and lungs are hushed to peace1 ,some friendly hand the eyelids close1 ,and leave the clay to short repose4 ,still on your knees be thanks expressed1 ,according as the ,lord has blessed2 ,this tongue1 then mute1 can now foretell ,jesus shall have done all things well4 ,should the great ,sovereign will it so1 ,that ,i in secret with him go1 ',t will be enough that ,he stands by1 ,he all my wants will well supply4 ,upon his dear1 his faithful breast1 ,my heart and head shall safely rest2 ,the fluttering pulse and bursting sigh1 ,he'll soothe with1 ,fear not2 it is ,i4 ,into his hands my spirit ,i'll breathe1 ,inhaling life from him in death2 ,though none should see1 faith can foretell ,my ,jesus shall do all things well4 ,though he deny my half-formed prayer1 ,well may ,i cast on ,him my care2 ,all things are mine1 or life or death2 ,in praise of ,him ,i'll spend my breath4 ,be this my only wish beside1 ,that ,god's great name be glorified1 ,what me concerns faith can foretell1 ,my ,jesus shall do all things well4 ,,widowhood4 ,,written ,,in ,,the ,,island ,,of ,,antigua ,,shortly ,,after ,,dr4 ,,graham',s ,,death4 ,,part ,i4 ,hail2 thou state of widowhood1 ,state of those that mourn to ,god2 ,who1 from earthly comforts torn1 ,only live to pray and mourn4 ,meanest of the number1 ,i ,for my dear companion sigh2 ,patiently my loss deplore1 ,mourn for one that mourns no more4 ,me my consort hath outrun1 ,out of sight he quite has gone2 ,he his course has finished here1 ,first come to the sepulchre4 ,following on with earnest haste1 ,till my mourning days are past1 ,i my partner's steps pursue1 ,i shall soon be happy too2 ,find the ease for which ,i pant1 ,gain the only good ,i want2 ,quietly lay down my head1 ,sink into my earthy bed4 ,there my flesh shall rest in hope1 ,till the quickened dust mount up1 ,when to glorious life ,i'll rise1 ,to meet my husband in the skies4 ,,part ,,ii4 ,happy they who trust in ,jesus1 ,jesus turns our loss to gain2 ,still his balmy mercies ease us1 ,sweeten all our grief and pain4 ,when he calls our friends t' inherit ,all the glories of the blest1 ,he assures the widowed spirit1 ,thou shalt quickly be at rest4 ,though my flesh and spirit languish1 ,let me not too much complain2 ,sure at last t' outlive my anguish1 ,sure to find my friend again4 ,ransomed from a world of sorrow1 ,he to-day is taken home2 ,i shall be released to-morrow-- ,come1 my dear ,redeemer1 come4 ,from my sanctified distresses1 ,now1 or when thou wilt1 receive2 ,grant with him in thine embraces1 ,after all my deaths1 to live4 ,,part ,,iii4 ,hail1 holy1 holy1 holy ,lord1 ,mysterious ,three in ,one6 ,for ever be thy name adored1 ,thy will for ever done4 ,for this alone on earth ,i wait1 ,to glorify my ,god2 ,and suffer1 since thou will'st1 the state ,of sacred widowhood4 ,and may ,i1 in thy strength1 fulfil ,my awful character2 ,and prove thine acceptable will1 ,and do thy pleasure here2 ,the children to thyself restore1 ,whom thou to me hast given2 ,and rule my house with all my power1 ,and train them up for heaven4 ,be this my hospitable care3 ,the stranger to receive1 ,the burden of thy church to bear1 ,and all their wants relieve2 ,my labor of unwearied love ,with pleasure to repeat1 ,my faith unto thy saints to prove1 ,and gladly wash their feet4 ,the servant of thy servants bless ,with active earnest zeal2 ,and every work of righteousness ,i shall with joy fulfil4 ,,lines1 ,occasioned by viewing the portrait of ,mrs4 ,graham1 prefixed to the first edition of her memoir4 ,by the late ,mrs4 ,margaret ,brown1 daughter of ,rev4 ,dr4 ,john ,mason4 ,while in this faded form ,i trace ,the features which ,i loved so well1 ,remembrance brings each mental grace ,within its hallowed shrine to dwell4 ,for ,i have seen that darkened eye ,in all the fire of genius roll1 ,with eagle-gaze explore the sky1 ,or with a keener glance descry ,the secret workings of the soul4 ,and ,i have seen this pallid cheek ,suffused with feeling's richest glow2 ,and virtue's brightest halo deck ,with sacred charms these locks of snow4 ,and on these lips in silence closed1 ,with rapt attention oft ,i hung1 ,and heard those wondrous truths disclosed ,which sages taught or seraphs sung4 ,and ,i have known this withered hand ,extended wide the poor to bless2 ,and this contracted breast expand ,with generous schemes to aid distress4 ,and now1 though far removed from earth ,and every scene of mortal pain1 ,this dear memorial of her worth ,shall many a drooping heart sustain4 ,still shall it dry the widow's tear1 ,the hapless orphan's want supply1 ,guide to a blessed asylum here1 ,and point to happier realms on high4 ,my father's friend--how poor the praise1 ,by his unworthy offspring given1 ,who thus records1 in humble lays1 ,what angels registered in heaven4 ,,frankfort1 ,kentucky1 ,august1 #ahaf4 ,one hundred dollars was paid by ,john ,w4 ,hamersley1 ,esq4 of ,new ,york1 towards perpetuating this volume4 ,the ,american ,tract ,society1 ,,publish ,,the ,,religious 7,,or ,,pastor',s7 ,,library1 ,comprising #be standard volumes #abmo1 at #aj4 ,including some of the best practical works of the #agth century2 ,,the ,,evidences ,,of ,,christianity2 ,,christian ,,memoirs2 and ,d',,aubign,s ,,history ,,of ,,the ,,reformation4 ,,the ,,evangelical ,,family ,,library1 ,of #ae volumes1 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