,,the ,,record ,,of ,a ,,quaker ,,conscience ,illustration3 ,macmillan ,logo ,,the ,,macmillan ,,company ,,new ,,york ,,boston ,,chicago ,,dallas ,,atlanta ,,san ,,francisco ,,macmillan ,,co41 ,limited ,,london ,,bombay ,,calcutta ,,melbourne ,,the ,,macmillan ,,co4 ,,of ,,canada1 ,ltd4 ,,toronto ,,the ,,record ,,of ,a ,,quaker ,,conscience ,,cyrus ,,pringle',s ,,diary ,,with ,,an ,,introduction ,,by ,,rufus ,m4 ,,jones ,new ,york ,,the ,,macmillan ,,company #aiah ,all rights reserved ,copyright1 #aiac ,,by ,,the ,,atlantic ,,monthly ,,company ,copyright1 #aiah ,by ,,the ,,macmillan ,,company ,set up and printed4 ,published1 ,february1 #aiah ,transcriber's ,note3 ,several unusual spellings have been kept as in the original1 including3 northermost 7,fairhope meeting-house is in the northermost country7 and comformable 7yet probably in a manner comformable to74 ,in some cases1 variant spellings of the same word are used1 as in the case of enrolment and enrollment1 therefor and therefore1 well meant and well-meant4 ,these have been comfirmed with the original4 ,in referring to ,god1 there is also inconsistency in the use of ,his versus his and ,him versus him4 ,,introduction ,the body of this little book consists of the personal diary of a young ,quaker named ,cyrus ,guernsey ,pringle of ,charlotte1 ,vermont4 ,he was drafted for service in the ,union ,army1 ,july #acth1 #ahfc4 ,under the existing draft law a person who had religious scruples against engaging in war was given the privilege of paying a commutation fine of three hundred dollars4 ,this commutation money ,pringle's conscience would not allow him to pay4 ,a prosperous uncle proposed to pay it surreptitiously for him1 but the honest-minded youth discovered the plan and refused to accept the well meant kindness1 since he believed1 no doubt rightly1 that this money would be used to pay for an army substitute in his place4 ,the ,diary relates in simple1 nave style the experiences which befell the narrator as he followed his hard path of duty1 and incidentally it reveals a fine and sensitive type of character1 not unlike that which comes so beautifully to light in the ,journal of ,john ,woolman4 ,this is plainly not the psychological moment to study the highly complex and delicate problem of conscience4 ,the strain and tension of world issues disturb our judgment4 ,we cannot if we would turn away from the events and movements that affect the destiny of nations to dwell calmly and securely upon our own inner1 private actions4 ,it is never easy1 even when the world is most normal and peaceful1 to mark off with sharp lines the area of individual freedom4 ,no person ever lives unto himself or is sufficient to himself4 ,he is inextricably woven into the tissue of the social group4 ,his privileges1 his responsibilities1 his obligations are forever over-individual and come from beyond his narrow isolated life4 ,if he is to be a rational being at all he must relate his life to others and share in some measure their triumphs and their tragedies4 ,but at the same time the most precious thing in the universe is that mysterious thing we call individual liberty and which even ,god himself guards and respects4 ,up to some point1 difficult certainly to delimit1 a man must be captain of his soul4 ,he cannot be a person if he does not have a sphere of power over his own act4 ,to treat him as a puppet of external forces1 or a mere cog in a vast social mechanism1 is to wipe out the unique distinction between person and thing4 ,somewhere the free spirit must take its stand and claim its ,god-given distinction4 ,if life is to be at all worth while there must be some boundary within which the soul holds its own august and ultimate tribunal4 ,that ,sanctuary domain within the soul the ,quakers1 ever since their origin in the period of the ,english ,commonwealth1 have always guarded as the most sacred possession a man can have4 ,no grave difficulty1 at least in the modern world1 is involved in this faith1 until it suddenly comes into conflict with the urgent requirements of social efficiency4 ,when the social group is fused with emotion and moves almost as an undivided unit toward some end1 then the claim of a right1 on the ground of conscience1 for the individual to deviate from the group and to pursue another or an opposite course appears serious if not positively insufferable4 ,the abstract principle of individual liberty all modern persons grant2 the strain comes when some one proposes to insist upon a concrete instance of it which involves implications that may endanger the ends which the intensified group is pursuing4 ,a situation of this type confronts the ,quakers whenever their country engages in war1 since as a people they feel that they cannot fight or take any part in military operations4 ,they do not find it an easy thing to give a completely rational ground for their opposition to war4 ,nor1 as a matter of fact1 is it any more easy for the militarist to rationalize his method of solving world difficulties4 ,both are evidently actuated by instinctive forces which lie far beneath the level of pure reason4 ,the roots of the ,quakers' opposition to war go deep down into the soil of the past4 ,they are the outgrowth and culmination of a long spiritual movement4 ,they carry along1 in their ideas1 emotions1 habits and attitudes1 tendencies which have been unconsciously sucked in with their mother's milk1 and which1 therefore1 cannot be held up and analysed4 ,the mystics1 the humanists1 the anabaptists1 the spiritual reformers1 are forerunners of the ,quaker4 ,they are a necessary part of his pedigree1--and they were all profoundly opposed to war4 ,this attitude has become an integral part of the vital stock of truth by which the ,quaker lives his spiritual life1 and to violate it is for him to stop living the way of truth1 as the early ,quakers quaintly called their religious faith4 ,but the ,quakers have never been champions of the negative4 ,they do not take kindly to the rle of being antis4 ,their negations grow out of their insistent affirmations4 ,if they are against an established institution or custom it is because they are for some other way of life which seems to them divinely right1 and their first obligation is to incarnate that way of life4 ,they cannot1 therefore1 stand apart in monastic seclusion and safely watch the swirl of forces which they silently disapprove4 ,if in war-time they do not fight1 they do something else4 ,they accept and face the dangers incident to their way of life4 ,they feel a compulsion to take up and in some measure to bear the burden of the world's suffering4 ,they endeavour to exhibit1 humbly and modestly1 the power of sacrificial love1 freely1 joyously given1 and they venture all that the brave can venture to carry their faith into life and action4 ,in the ,american civil war1 in the ,franco-,prussian1 the ,south ,african1 the ,balkan1 the ,russo-,japanese1 small bands of ,quakers revealed the same spirit of service and the same obliviousness to danger which have marked the larger groups that have manned the ambulance units and the war-victims' relief and reconstruction work of this world war4 ,in this present crisis they have gone wherever they could go1--to ,belgium1 to ,france1 to ,russia1 to ,italy1 to ,serbia and ,greece and ,syria and ,mesopotamia1--to carry into operation the forces of restoration and of reconstruction4 ,they have not stood aloof as spectators of the world's tragedy4 ,they have entered into it and shared it1 and they have counted neither money nor life dear to themselves in their desire to reveal the power of redeeming and transforming love4 ,slowly the sincerity of the ,quaker conviction about war has made itself felt and limited legislative provisions have been made1 especially in ,england and ,america1 to meet the claims of conscience4 ,the problem which confronts the law-maker1 even when he is sympathetic with the rights of conviction1 is the grave difficulty of determining where to draw the line of special exception to general requirements and how to discover the sincerity of conscientious objection to war4 ,the slacker is always a stern possibility4 ,there must be no holes in the net for him to escape through4 ,the makers of armies naturally want every man who can be spared from civilian life and can be utilized for military operations4 ,it has consequently often seemed necessary for law-makers to be narrow and hard toward the obviously sincere for fear of being too easy and lenient with those suspected of having sham consciences4 ,during the ,civil ,war in ,america1 ,president ,lincoln1 eager as he was to win the war1 was always deeply in sympathy with the ,quakers1 and he stretched his administrative powers to their full limit to provide relief for conscientious convictions4 ,in the early stages of the great conflict the ,president wrote the following kindly note in answer to a message from ,new ,england ,yearly ,meeting of the ,society of ,friends3 ,engaged as ,i am1 in a great war1 ,i fear it will be difficult for the world to understand how fully ,i appreciate the principles of peace inculcated in this letter of yours and every where by the ,society of ,friends4#a ,both he and ,secretary ,stanton made many positive efforts to find some way of providing for the tender consciences of ,friends without being unfair to the rights of others4 ,they even requested ,american ,friends to call a conference to consider how to find a satisfactory solution of the problem4 ,such a conference was held in ,baltimore1 ,december #gth1 #ahfc1 and the ,friends there assembled expressed great appreciation of the kindness evinced at all times by the ,president and ,secretary of ,war4 ,a delegation from this conference visited ,washington and1 in co-operation with ,secretary ,stanton1 succeeded in securing a clause in the enrolment bill1 declaring ,friends to be non-combatants1 assigning all drafted ,friends to hospital service or work among freedmen1 and further providing for the entire exemption of ,friends from military service on the payment of #cjj into a fund for the relief of sick and wounded4#b ,on several occasions ,friends in larger or smaller groups went to ,washington for times of prayer and spiritual communion with the great ,president4 ,these times were deeply appreciated by the heavily burdened man4 ,tears ran down his cheeks1 we are told1 as he sat bowed in solemn silence or knelt as some moved ,friend prayed for him to ,almighty ,god4 ,writing of the visit of ,isaac and ,sarah ,harvey of ,clinton ,county1 ,ohio1 in the autumn of #ahfb1 ,lincoln tenderly said3 ,may the ,lord comfort them as they have sustained me4 ,a letter written by the ,president in #ahfb to ,eliza ,p4 ,gurney1 one of a small group of ,friends who visited him and prayed with him in the autumn of that year1 reveals forcibly how he regarded these occasions3 ,i am glad of this interview1 and glad to know that ,i have your sympathy and prayers4 ,we are indeed going through a great trial--a fiery trial4 ,in the very responsible position in which ,i happen to be placed1 being a humble instrument in the hands of our ,heavenly ,father1 as ,i am1 and as we all are1 to work out his great purposes1 ,i have desired that all my works and acts may be according to his will1 and that it might be so1 ,i have sought his aid2 but if1 after endeavouring to do my best in the light which he affords me1 ,i find my efforts fail1 ,i must believe that for some purpose unknown to me1 his will is otherwise4 ,if ,i had had my way1 this war would never have been commenced4 ,if ,i had been allowed my way1 this war would have been ended before this2 but we find it still continues1 and we must believe that he permits it for some wise purpose of his own1 mysterious and unknown to us2 and though with our limited understandings we may not be able to comprehend it1 yet we cannot but believe that he who made the world still governs it4 ,somewhat later ,president ,lincoln wrote again to ,eliza ,p4 ,gurney requesting her to exercise her freedom to write to him as he felt the need of spiritual help and reinforcement4 ,her letter of reply so closely touched him and spoke to his condition that he carried it about with him and it was found in his coat pocket at the time of his death1 twenty months after it was written4 ,in the autumn of #ahfd1 ,president ,lincoln1 still impressed by the message which he had received1 wrote a memorable letter to ,eliza ,p4 ,gurney4 ,it was as follows3 ,i have not forgotten--probably never shall forget--the very impressive occasion when yourself and friends visited me on a ,sabbath forenoon two years ago4 ,nor has your kind letter1 written nearly a year later1 ever been forgotten4 ,in all it has been your purpose to strengthen my reliance on ,god4 ,i am much indebted to the good ,christian people of the country for their constant prayers and consolations2 and to no one of them more than to yourself4 ,the purposes of the ,almighty are perfect1 and must prevail1 though we erring mortals may fail to accurately perceive them in advance4 ,we hoped for a happy termination of this terrible war long before this2 but ,god knows best1 and has ruled otherwise4 ,we shall yet acknowledge his wisdom1 and our own error therein4 ,meanwhile we must work earnestly in the best lights he gives us1 trusting that so working still conduces to the great ends he ordains4 ,surely he intends some great good to follow this mighty convulsion1 which no mortal could make1 and no mortal could stay4 ,your people1 the ,friends1 have had1 and are having1 a very great trial4 ,on principle and faith opposed to both war and oppression1 they can only practically oppose oppression by war4 ,in this dilemma some have chosen one horn and some the other4 ,for those appealing to me on conscientious grounds1 ,i have done1 and shall do1 the best ,i could and can1 in my own conscience1 under my oath to the law4 ,that you believe this ,i doubt not2 and1 believing it1 ,i shall still receive for our country and myself your earnest prayers to our ,father in heaven4 ,it is1 then1 not surprising that ,president ,lincoln was moved with sympathy when he heard the story of ,pringle's suffering for conscience1 or that he quietly said to the ,secretary of ,war1 ,it is my urgent wish that this ,friend be released4 ,,rufus ,m4 ,,jones4 ,haverford1 ,pa41 ,december1 #aiag4 ,,footnotes3 #a ,nicolay and ,hay3 ,abraham ,lincoln1 ,vol4 ,,vi1 p4 #cbh4 #b ,secretary ,stanton endeavoured to provide that this commutation money should be made into a fund for the care of freedmen4 ,this suggestion was1 however1 not adopted by ,congress4 ,,the ,,record ,,of ,a ,,quaker ,,conscience ,at ,burlington1 ,vt41 on the #acth of the seventh month1 #ahfc1 ,i was drafted4 ,pleasant are my recollections of the #adth4 ,much of that rainy day ,i spent in my chamber1 as yet unaware of my fate2 in writing and reading and in reflecting to compose my mind for any event4 ,the day and the exercise1 by the blessing of the ,father1 brought me precious reconciliation to the will of ,providence4 ,with ardent zeal for our ,faith and the cause of our peaceable principles2 and almost disgusted at the lukewarmness and unfaithfulness of very many who profess these2 and considering how heavily slight crosses bore upon their shoulders1 ,i felt to say1 ,here am ,i1 ,father1 for thy service4 ,as thou will4 ,may ,i trust it was ,he who called me and sent me forth with the consolation3 ,my grace is sufficient for thee4 ,deeply have ,i felt many times since that ,i am nothing without the companionship of the ,spirit4 ,i was to report on the #bgth4 ,then1 loyal to our country1 ,wm4 ,lindley ,dean and ,i appeared before the ,provost ,marshal with a statement of our cases4 ,we were ordered for a hearing on the #bith4 ,on the afternoon of that day ,w4,l4,d4 was rejected upon examination of the ,surgeon1 but my case not coming up1 he remained with me1--much to my strength and comfort4 ,sweet was his converse and long to be remembered1 as we lay together that warm summer night on the straw of the barracks4 ,by his encouragement much was my mind strengthened2 my desires for a pure life1 and my resolutions for good4 ,in him and those of whom he spoke ,i saw the abstract beauty of ,quakerism4 ,on the next morning came ,joshua ,m4 ,dean to support me and plead my case before the ,board of ,enrollment4 ,on the day after1 the #cast1 ,i came before the ,board4 ,respectfully those men listened to the exposition of our principles2 and1 on our representing that we looked for some relief from the ,president1 the marshal released me for twenty days4 ,meanwhile appeared ,lindley ,m4 ,macomber and was likewise1 by the kindness of the marshal1 though they had received instructions from the ,provost ,marshal ,general to show such claims no partiality1 released to appear on the #bjth day of the eighth month4 ,all these days we were urged by our acquaintances to pay our commutation money2 by some through well-meant kindness and sympathy2 by others through interest in the war2 and by others still through a belief they entertained it was our duty4 ,but we confess a higher duty than that to country2 and1 asking no military protection of our ,government and grateful for none1 deny any obligation to support so unlawful a system1 as we hold a war to be even when waged in opposition to an evil and oppressive power and ostensibly in defence of liberty1 virtue1 and free institutions2 and1 though touched by the kind interest of friends1 we could not relieve their distress by a means we held even more sinful than that of serving ourselves1 as by supplying money to hire a substitute we would not only be responsible for the result1 but be the agents in bringing others into evil4 ,so looking to our ,father alone for help1 and remembering that ,whoso loseth his life for my sake shall find it2 but whoso saveth it shall lose it1 we presented ourselves again before the ,board1 as we had promised to do when released4 ,being offered four days more of time1 we accepted it as affording opportunity to visit our friends2 and moreover as there would be more probability of meeting ,peter ,dakin at ,rutland4 ,sweet was the comfort and sympathy of our friends as we visited them4 ,there was a deep comfort1 as we left them1 in the thought that so many pure and pious people follow us with their love and prayers4 ,appearing finally before the marshal on the #bdth1 suits and uniforms were selected for us1 and we were called upon to give receipts for them4 ,l4,m4,m4 was on his guard1 and1 being first called upon1 declared he could not do so1 as that would imply acceptance4 ,failing to come to any agreement1 the matter was postponed till next morning1 when we certified to the fact that the articles were with us4 ,here ,i must make record of the kindness of the marshal1 ,rolla ,gleason1 who treated us with respect and kindness4 ,he had spoken with respect of our ,society2 had given me furloughs to the amount of twenty-four days1 when the marshal at ,rutland considered himself restricted by his oath and duty to six days2 and here appeared in person to prevent any harsh treatment of us by his sergeants2 and though much against his inclinations1 assisted in putting on the uniform with his own hands4 ,we bade him farewell with grateful feelings and expressions of fear that we should not fall into as tender hands again2 and amid the rain in the early morning1 as the town clock tolled the hour of seven1 we were driven amongst the flock that was going forth to the slaughter1 down the street and into the cars for ,brattleboro4 ,dark was the day with murk and cloud and rain2 and1 as we rolled down through the narrow vales of eastern ,vermont1 somewhat of the shadow crept into our hearts and filled them with dark apprehensions of evil fortune ahead2 of long1 hopeless trials2 of abuse from inferior officers2 of contempt from common soldiers2 of patient endurance 7or an attempt at this71 unto an end seen only by the eye of a strong faith4 ,herded into a car by ourselves1 we conscripts1 substitutes1 and the rest1 through the greater part of the day1 swept over the fertile meadows along the banks of the ,white ,river and the ,connecticut1 through pleasant scenes that had little of delight for us4 ,at ,woodstock we were joined by the conscripts from the #ast ,district1--altogether an inferior company from those before with us1 who were honest yeomen from the northern and mountainous towns1 while these were many of them substitutes from the cities4 ,at ,brattleboro we were marched up to the camp2 our knapsacks and persons searched2 and any articles of citizen's dress taken from us2 and then shut up in a rough board building under a guard4 ,here the prospect was dreary1 and ,i felt some lack of confidence in our ,father's arm1 though but two days before ,i wrote to my dear friend1 ,e4,m4,h41-- ,i go tomorrow where the din ,of war is in the sulphurous air4 ,i go the ,prince of ,peace to serve1 ,his cross of suffering to bear4 ,brattleboro1 #bfth1 #hth month1 #ahfc4--,twenty-five or thirty caged lions roam lazily to and fro through this building hour after hour through the day4 ,on every side without1 sentries pace their slow beat1 bearing loaded muskets4 ,men are ranging through the grounds or hanging in synods about the doors of the different buildings1 apparently without a purpose4 ,aimless is military life1 except betimes its aim is deadly4 ,idle life blends with violent death-struggles till the man is unmade a man2 and henceforth there is little of manhood about him4 ,of a man he is made a soldier1 which is a man-destroying machine in two senses1--a thing for the prosecuting or repelling an invasion like the block of stone in the fortress or the plate of iron on the side of the ,monitor4 ,they are alike4 ,i have tried in vain to define a difference1 and ,i see only this4 ,the iron-clad with its gun is the bigger soldier3 the more formidable in attack1 the less liable to destruction in a given time2 the block the most capable of resistance2 both are equally obedient to officers4 ,or the more perfect is the soldier1 the more nearly he approaches these in this respect4 ,three times a day we are marched out to the mess houses for our rations4 ,in our hands we carry a tin plate1 whereon we bring back a piece of bread 7sour and tough most likely71 and a cup4 ,morning and noon a piece of meat1 antique betimes1 bears company with the bread4 ,they who wish it receive in their cups two sorts of decoctions3 in the morning burnt bread1 or peas perhaps1 steeped in water with some saccharine substance added 7,i dare not affirm it to be sugar74 ,at night steeped tea extended by some other herbs probably and its pungency and acridity assuaged by the saccharine principle aforementioned4 ,on this we have so far subsisted and1 save some nauseating1 comfortably4 ,as we go out and return1 on right and left and in front and rear go bayonets4 ,some substitutes heretofore have escaped and we are not to be neglected in our attendants4 ,hard beds are healthy1 but ,i query cannot the result be defeated by the degree8 ,our mattresses are boards4 ,only the slight elasticity of our thin blankets breaks the fall of our flesh and bones thereon4 ,oh6 now ,i praise the discipline ,i have received from uncarpeted floors through warm summer nights of my boyhood4 ,the building resounds with petty talk2 jokes and laughter and swearing4 ,something more than that4 ,many of the caged lions are engaged with cards1 and money changes hands freely4 ,some of the caged lions read1 and some sleep1 and so the weary day goes by4 ,l4,m4,m4 and ,i addressed the following letter to ,governor ,holbrook and hired a corporal to forward it to him4 ,,brattleboro1 ,,vt41 #bfth1 #hth month1 #ahfc4 ,,frederick ,,holbrook1 ,governor of ,vermont3-- ,we1 the undersigned members of the ,society of ,friends1 beg leave to represent to thee1 that we were lately drafted in the #c;d ,dist4 of ,vermont1 have been forced into the army and reached the camp near this town yesterday4 ,that in the language of the elders of our ,new ,york ,yearly ,meeting1 ,we love our country and acknowledge with gratitude to our ,heavenly ,father the many blessings we have been favoured with under the government2 and can feel no sympathy with any who seek its overthrow4 ,but that1 true to well-known principles of our ,society1 we cannot violate our religious convictions either by complying with military requisitions or by the equivalents of this compliance1--the furnishing of a substitute or payment of commutation money4 ,that1 therefore1 we are brought into suffering and exposed to insult and contempt from those who have us in charge1 as well as to the penalties of insubordination1 though liberty of conscience is granted us by the ,constitution of ,vermont as well as that of the ,united ,states4 ,therefore1 we beg of thee as ,governor of our ,state any assistance thou may be able to render1 should it be no more than the influence of thy position interceding in our behalf4 ,truly ,thy ,friend1 ,,cyrus ,g4 ,,pringle4 ,p4,s4--,we are informed we are to be sent to the vicinity of ,boston tomorrow4 #bgth4--,on board train to ,boston4 ,the long afternoon of yesterday passed slowly away4 ,this morning passed by1--the time of our stay in ,brattleboro1 and we neither saw nor heard anything of our ,governor4 ,we suppose he could not or would not help us4 ,so as we go down to our trial we have no arm to lean upon among all men2 but why dost thou complain1 oh1 my ,soul8 ,seek thou that faith that will prove a buckler to thy breast1 and gain for thee the protection of an arm mightier than the arms of all men4 #bhth4 ,,camp ,,vermont3 ,,long ,,island1 ,,boston ,,harbour4--,in the early morning damp and cool we marched down off the heights of ,brattleboro to take train for this place4 ,once in the car the dashing young cavalry officer1 who had us in charge1 gave notice he had placed men through the cars1 with loaded revolvers1 who had orders to shoot any person attempting to escape1 or jump from the window1 and that any one would be shot if he even put his head out of the window4 ,down the beautiful valley of the ,connecticut1 all through its broad intervales1 heavy with its crops of corn or tobacco1 or shaven smooth by the summer harvest2 over the hard and stony counties of northern ,massachusetts1 through its suburbs and under the shadow of ,bunker ,hill ,monument we came into the ,city of ,boston1 the ,hub of the ,universe4 ,out through street after street we were marched double guarded to the wharves1 where we took a small steamer for the island some six miles out in the harbour4 ,a circumstance connected with this march is worth mentioning for its singularity3 at the head of this company1 like convicts 7and feeling very much like such71 through the ,city of ,boston walked1 with heavy hearts and down-cast eyes1 two ,quakers4 ,here on this dry and pleasant island in the midst of the beautiful ,massachusetts ,bay1 we have the liberty of the camp1 the privilege of air and sunshine and hay beds to sleep upon4 ,so we went to bed last night with somewhat of gladness elevating our depressed spirits4 ,here are many troops gathering daily from all the ,new ,england ,states except ,connecticut and ,rhode ,island4 ,their white tents are dotting the green slopes and hilltops of the island and spreading wider and wider4 ,this is the flow of military tide here just now4 ,the ebb went out to sea in the shape of a great shipload just as we came in1 and another load will be sent before many days4 ,all is war here4 ,we are surrounded by the pomp and circumstance of war1 and enveloped in the cloud thereof4 ,the cloud settles down over the minds and souls of all2 they cannot see beyond1 nor do they try2 but with the clearer eye of ,christian faith ,i try to look beyond all this error unto ,truth and ,holiness immaculate3 and thanks to our ,father1 ,i am favoured with glimpses that are sweet consolation amid this darkness4 ,this is one gratification3 the men with us give us their sympathy4 ,they seem to look upon us tenderly and pitifully1 and their expressions of kind wishes are warm4 ,although we are relieved from duty and from drill1 and may lie in our tents during rain and at night1 we have heard of no complaint4 ,this is the more worthy of note as there are so few in our little 7,vermont7 camp4 ,each man comes on guard half the days4 ,it would probably be otherwise were their hearts in the service2 but ,i have yet to find the man in any of these camps or at any service who does not wish himself at home4 ,substitutes say if they knew all they know now before leaving home they would not have enlisted2 and they have been but a week from their homes and have endured no hardships4 ,yesterday ,l4,m4,m4 and ,i appeared before the ,captain commanding this camp with a statement of our cases4 ,he listened to us respectfully and promised to refer us to the ,general commanding here1 ,general ,devens2 and in the meantime released us from duty4 ,in a short time afterward he passed us in our tent1 asking our names4 ,we have not heard from him1 but do not drill or stand guard2 so1 we suppose1 his release was confirmed4 ,at that interview a young lieutenant sneeringly told us he thought we had better throw away our scruples and fight in the service of the country2 and as we told the ,captain we could not accept pay1 he laughed mockingly1 and said he would not stay here for #ac4jj per month4 ,he gets more than a hundred1 ,i suppose4 ,how beautiful seems the world on this glorious morning here by the seaside6 ,eastward and toward the sun1 fair green isles with outlines of pure beauty are scattered over the blue bay4 ,along the far line of the mainland white hamlets and towns glisten in the morning sun2 countless tiny waves dance in the wind that comes off shore and sparkle sunward like myriads of gems4 ,up the fair vault1 flecked by scarcely a cloud1 rolls the sun in glory4 ,though fair be the earth1 it has come to be tainted and marred by him who was meant to be its crowning glory4 ,behind me on this island are crowded vile and wicked men1 the murmur of whose ribaldry riseth continually like the smoke and fumes of a lower world4 ,oh6 ,father of ,mercies1 forgive the hard heartlessness and blindness and scarlet sins of my fellows1 my brothers4 ,,prison ,,experiences ,,for ,,conscience' ,,sake--,,our ,,prison #cast41 #hth month1 #ahfc4 ,,in ,,guard ,,house4--,yesterday morning ,l4,m4,m4 and ,i were called upon to do fatigue duty4 ,the day before we were asked to do some cleaning about camp and to bring water4 ,we wished to be obliging1 to appear willing to bear a hand toward that which would promote our own and our fellows' health and convenience2 but as we worked we did not feel easy4 ,suspecting we had been assigned to such work1 the more we discussed in our minds the subject1 the more clearly the right way seemed opened to us2 and we separately came to the judgment that we must not conform to this requirement4 ,so when the sergeant bade us ,police the streets1 we asked him if he had received instructions with regard to us1 and he replied we had been assigned to ,fatigue ,duty4 ,l4,m4,m4 answered him that we could not obey4 ,he left us immediately for the ,major 7,jarvis of ,weathersfield1 ,vt474 ,he came back and ordered us to the ,major's tent4 ,the latter met us outside and inquired concerning the complaint he had heard of us4 ,upon our statement of our position1 he apparently undertook to argue our whimsies1 as he probably looked upon our principles1 out of our heads4 ,we replied to his points as we had ability2 but he soon turned to bullying us rather than arguing with us1 and would hardly let us proceed with a whole sentence4 ,i make some pretension to religion myself1 he said2 and quoted the ,old ,testament freely in support of war4 ,our terms were1 submission or the guard-house4 ,we replied we could not obey4 ,this island was formerly occupied by a company1 who carried on the large farm it comprises and opened a great hotel as a summer resort4 ,the subjects of all misdemeanours1 grave and small1 are here confined4 ,those who have deserted or attempted it2 those who have insulted officers and those guilty of theft1 fighting1 drunkenness1 etc4 ,in most1 as in the camps1 there are traces yet of manhood and of the ,divine ,spark1 but some are abandoned1 dissolute4 ,there are many here among the substitutes who were actors in the late ,new ,york riots4 ,they show unmistakably the characteristics and sentiments of those rioters1 and1 especially1 hatred to the blacks drafted and about camp1 and exhibit this in foul and profane jeers heaped upon these unoffending men at every opportunity4 ,in justice to the blacks ,i must say they are superior to the whites in all their behaviour4 #cast4 ,p4,m4--,several of us were a little time ago called out one by one to answer inquiries with regard to our offences4 ,we replied we could not comply with military requisitions4 ,p4,d41 being last1 was asked if he would die first1 and replied promptly but mildly1 ,yes4 ,here we are in prison in our own land for no crimes1 no offence to ,god nor man2 nay1 more3 we are here for obeying the commands of the ,son of ,god and the influences of his ,holy ,spirit4 ,i must look for patience in this dark day4 ,i am troubled too much and excited and perplexed4 #ast41 #ith month4--,oh1 the horrors of the past night--,i never before experienced such sensations and fears2 and never did ,i feel so clearly that ,i had nothing but the hand of our ,father to shield me from evil4 ,last night we three lay down together on the floor of a lower room of which we had taken possession4 ,the others were above4 ,we had but one blanket between us and the floor1 and one over us4 ,the other one we had lent to a wretched deserter who had skulked into our room for relief1 being without anything of his own4 ,we had during the day gained the respect of the fellows1 and they seemed disposed to let us occupy our room in peace4 ,i cannot say in quiet1 for these caged beasts are restless1 and the resonant boards of this old building speak of bedlam4 ,the thin board partitions1 the light door fastened only by a pine stick thrust into a wooden loop on the casing1 seemed small protection in case of assault2 but we lay down to sleep in quiet trust4 ,but we had scarcely fallen asleep before we were awakened by the demoniac howlings and yellings of a man just brought into the next room1 and allowed the liberty of the whole house4 ,he was drunk1 and further seemed to be labouring under delirium tremens4 ,he crashed about furiously1 and all the more after the guard tramped heavily in and bound him with handcuffs1 and chain and ball4 ,again and again they left1 only to return to quiet him by threats or by crushing him down to the floor and gagging him4 ,in a couple of hours he became quiet and we got considerable sleep4 ,in the morning the fellow came into our room apologizing for the intrusion4 ,he appeared a smart1 fine-looking young man1 restless and uneasy4 ,p4,d4 has a way of disposing of intruders that is quite effectual4 ,i have not entirely disposed of some misgivings with respect to the legitimacy of his use of the means1 so he commenced reading aloud in the ,bible4 ,the fellow was impatient and noisy1 but he soon settled down on the floor beside him4 ,as he listened and talked with us the recollections of his father's house and his innocent childhood were awakened4 ,he was the child of pious parents1 taught in ,sabbath ,school and under pure home influences till thirteen4 ,then he was drawn into bad company1 soon after leaving home for the sea2 and1 since then1 has served in the army and navy1--in the army in ,wilson's and ,hawkins's brigades4 ,his was the old story of the total subjection of moral power and thralldom to evil habits and associates4 ,he would get drunk1 whenever it was in his power4 ,it was wrong2 but he could not help it4 ,though he was awakened and recollected his parents looking long and in vain for his return1 he soon returned to camp1 to his wallowing in the mire1 and ,i fear to his path to certain perdition4 #c;d4 #ith month4--,a ,massachusetts major1 the officer of the day1 in his inspection of the guard-house came into our room today4 ,we were lying on the floor engaged in reading and writing4 ,he was apparently surprised at this and inquired the name of our books2 and finding the ,bible and ,thomas ,kempis's ,imitation of ,christ1 observed that they were good books4 ,i cannot say if he knew we were ,friends1 but he asked us why we were in here4 ,like all officers he proceeded to reason with us1 and to advise us to serve1 presenting no comfort if we still persisted in our course4 ,he informed us of a young ,friend1 ,edward ,w4 ,holway of ,sandwich1 ,mass41 having been yesterday under punishment in the camp by his orders1 who was today doing service about camp4 ,he said he was not going to put his ,quaker in the guard-house1 but was going to bring him to work by punishment4 ,we were filled with deep sympathy for him and desired to cheer him by kind words as well as by the knowledge of our similar situation4 ,we obtained permission of the ,major to write to him a letter open to his inspection4 ,you may be sure1 said ,e4,w4,h4 to us at ,w41 the ,major did not allow it to leave his hands4 ,this forenoon the ,lieutenant of the ,day came in and acted the same part1 though he was not so cool1 and left expressing the hope1 if we would not serve our country like men1 that ,god would curse us4 ,oh1 the trials from these officers6 ,one after another comes in to relieve himself upon us4 ,finding us firm and not lacking in words1 they usually fly into a passion and end by bullying us4 ,how can we reason with such men8 ,they are utterly unable to comprehend the pure ,christianity and spirituality of our principles4 ,they have long stiffened their necks in their own strength4 ,they have stopped their ears to the voice of the ,spirit1 and hardened their hearts to his influences4 ,they see no duty higher than that to country4 ,what shall we receive at their hands8 ,this ,major tells us we will not be tried here4 ,then we are to be sent into the field1 and there who will deliver us but ,god8 ,ah1 ,i have nursed in my heart a hope that ,i may be spared to return home4 ,must ,i cast it out and have no desire1 but to do the will of my ,master4 ,it were better1 even so4 ,o1 ,lord1 ,thy will be done4 ,grant ,i may make it my chief delight and render true submission thereto4 ,yesterday a little service was required of our dear ,l4,m4,m41 but he insisted he could not comply4 ,a sergeant and two privates were engaged4 ,they coaxed and threatened him by turns1 and with a determination not to be baffled took him out to perform it4 ,though guns were loaded he still stood firm and was soon brought back4 ,we are happy here in guard-house1--too happy1 too much at ease4 ,we should see more of the ,comforter1--feel more strength1--if the trial were fiercer2 but this is well4 ,this is a trial of strength of patience4 #fth4 #ith month4--,yesterday we had officers again for visitors4 ,major ,j4,b4 ,gould1 #acth ,massachusetts1 came in with the determination of persuading us to consent to be transferred to the hospital here1 he being the ,provost ,marshal of the island and having the power to make the transfer4 ,he is different in being and bearing from those who have been here before4 ,his motives were apparently those of pure kindness1 and his demeanour was that of a gentleman4 ,though he talked with us more than an hour1 he lost no part of his self-control or good humour4 ,so by his eloquence and kindness he made more impression upon us than any before4 ,as ,congregationalist he well knew the courts of the temple1 but the ,holy of ,holies he had never seen1 and knew nothing of its secrets4 ,he understood expediency2 but is not the man to lay down his life for my sake4 ,he is sincere and seems to think what ,major ,gould believes cannot be far from right4 ,after his attempt we remained as firm as ever4 ,we must expect all means will be tried upon us1 and no less persuasion than threats4 ,,at ,,the ,,hospital1 #gth4 #ith month4--,yesterday morning came to us ,major ,gould again1 informing us that he had come to take us out of that dirty place1 as he could not see such respectable men lying there1 and was going to take us up to the hospital4 ,we assured him we could not serve there1 and asked him if he would not bring us back when we had there declared our purpose4 ,he would not reply directly2 but brought us here and left us4 ,when the surgeon knew our determination1 he was for haling us back at once2 what he wanted1 he said1 was willing men4 ,we sat on the sward without the hospital tents till nearly noon1 for some one to take us back2 when we were ordered to move into the tents and quarters assigned us in the mess-room4 ,the ,major must have interposed1 demonstrating his kindness by his resolution that we should occupy and enjoy the pleasanter quarters of the hospital1 certainly if serving2 but none the less so if we declined4 ,later in the day ,l4,m4,m4 and ,p4,d4 were sitting without1 when he passed them and1 laughing heartily1 declared they were the strangest prisoners of war he ever saw4 ,he stopped some time to talk with them and when they came in they declared him a kind and honest man4 ,if we interpret aright his conduct1 this dangerous trial is over1 and we have escaped the perplexities that his kindness and determination threw about us4 #acth4--,last night we received a letter from ,henry ,dickinson1 stating that the ,president1 though sympathizing with those in our situation1 felt bound by the ,conscription ,act1 and felt liberty1 in view of his oath to execute the laws1 to do no more than detail us from active service to hospital duty1 or to the charge of the coloured refugees4 ,for more than a week have we lain here1 refusing to engage in hospital service2 shall we retrace the steps of the past week8 ,or shall we go ,south as overseers of the blacks on the confiscated estates of the rebels1 to act under military commanders and to report to such8 ,what would become of our testimony and our determination to preserve ourselves clear of the guilt of this war8 ,p4,s4 ,we have written back to ,henry ,dickinson that we cannot purchase life at cost of peace of soul4 #adth4--,we have been exceeding sorrowful since receiving advice--as we must call it--from ,h4,d4 to enter the hospital service or some similar situation4 ,we did not look for that from him4 ,it is not what our ,friends sent us out for2 nor is it what we came for4 ,we shall feel desolate and dreary in our position1 unless supported and cheered by the words of those who have at heart our best interests more than regard for our personal welfare4 ,we walk as we feel guided by ,best ,wisdom4 ,oh1 may we run and not err in the high path of ,holiness4 #afth4--,yesterday a son-in-law of ,n4,b4 of ,lynn came to see us4 ,he was going to get passes for one or two of the ,lynn ,friends1 that they might come over to see us today4 ,he informed us that the sentiment of the ,friends hereabouts was that we might enter the hospital without compromising our principles2 and he produced a letter from ,w4,w4 to ,s4,b4 to the same effect4 ,w4,w4 expressed his opinion that we might do so without doing it in lieu of other service4 ,how can we evade a fact8 ,does not the government both demand and accept it as in lieu of other service8 ,oh1 the cruelest blow of all comes from our friends4 #agth4--,although this trial was brought upon us by our friends1 their intentions were well meant4 ,their regard for our personal welfare and safety too much absorbs the zeal they should possess for the maintenance of the principle of the peaceableness of our ,master's kingdom4 ,an unfaithfulness to this through meekness and timidity seems manifest1--too great a desire to avoid suffering at some sacrifice of principle1 perhaps1--too little of placing of ,faith and confidence upon the ,rock of ,eternal ,truth4 ,our friends at home1 with ,w4,d4 at their head1 support us2 and yesterday1 at the opportune moment1 just as we were most distressed by the solicitations of our visitors1 kind and cheering words of ,truth were sent us through dear ,c4,m4,p41 whose love rushes out to us warm and living and just from an overflowing fountain4 ,i must record another work of kind attention shown us by ,major ,gould4 ,before we embarked1 he came to us for a friendly visit4 ,as we passed him on our way to the wharf he bade us ,farewell and expressed a hope we should not have so hard a time as we feared4 ,and after we were aboard the steamer1 as the result of his interference on our behalf1 we must believe1 we were singled out from the midst of the prisoners1 among whom we had been placed previous to coming aboard1 and allowed the liberty of the vessel4 ,by this are we saved much suffering1 as the other prisoners were kept under close guard in a corner on the outside of the boat4 ,,forest ,,city ,,up ,,the ,,potomac4 #bbnd4 #ith month4--,it was near noon1 yesterday1 when we turned in from sea between ,cape ,charles and ,henry2 and1 running thence down across the mouth of ,chesapeake ,bay1 alongside ,old ,point ,comfort1 dropped anchor off ,fortress ,monroe4 ,the scene around us was one of beauty1 though many of its adornments were the results and means of wrong4 ,the sunshine was brighter1 the verdure greener to our eyes weary of the sea1 and the calm was milder and more grateful that we had so long tossed in the storm4 ,the anchor was soon drawn up again and the ,forest ,city steamed up the ,james ,river toward ,newport ,news1 and turning to the left between the low1 pine-grown banks1 passed ,norfolk to leave the ,new ,hampshire detachment at ,portsmouth4 ,coming back to ,fortress ,monroe1 some freight was landed2 and in the calm clear light of the moon1 we swung away from shore and dropping down the mouth of the river1 rounded ,old ,point1 and1 going up the ,chesapeake1 entered the ,potomac in the night-time4 ,,off ,,shore1 ,,alexandria4 #bc;d4--,here we anchored last night after the main detachment was landed1 and the ,vermont and ,massachusetts men remained on board another night4 ,we hear we are to go right to the field1 where active operations are going on4 ,this seems hard4 ,we have not till now given up the hope that we were not to go out into ,virginia with the rest of the men1 but were to be kept here at ,washington4 ,fierce1 indeed1 are our trials4 ,i am not discouraged entirely2 but ,i am weak from want of food which ,i can eat1 and from sickness4 ,i do not know how ,i am going to live in such way1 or get to the front4 ,p4,s4 ,we have just landed2 and ,i had the liberty to buy a pie of a woman hawking such things1 that has strengthened me wonderfully4 ,,camp ,,near ,,culpeper4 #beth4--,my distress is too great for words2 but ,i must overcome my disinclination to write1 or this record will remain unfinished4 ,so1 with aching head and heart1 ,i proceed4 ,yesterday morning we were roused early for breakfast and for preparation for starting4 ,after marching out of the barracks1 we were first taken to the armory1 where each man received a gun and its equipments and a piece of tent4 ,we stood in line1 waiting for our turn with apprehensions of coming trouble4 ,though we had felt free to keep with those among whom we had been placed1 we could not consent to carry a gun1 even though we did not intend to use it2 and1 from our previous experience1 we knew it would go harder with us1 if we took the first step in the wrong direction1 though it might seem an unimportant one1 and an easy and not very wrong way to avoid difficulty4 ,so we felt decided we must decline receiving the guns4 ,in the hurry and bustle of equipping a detachment of soldiers1 one attempting to explain a position and the grounds therefor so peculiar as ours to junior1 petty officers1 possessing liberally the characteristics of these3 pride1 vanity1 conceit1 and an arbitrary spirit1 impatience1 profanity1 and contempt for holy things1 must needs find the opportunity a very unfavourable one4 ,we succeeded in giving these young officers a slight idea of what we were2 and endeavoured to answer their questions of why we did not pay our commutation1 and avail ourselves of that provision made expressly for such2 of why we had come as far as that place1 etc4 ,we realized then the unpleasant results of that practice1 that had been employed with us by the successive officers into whose hands we had fallen1--of shirking any responsibility1 and of passing us on to the next officer above4 ,a council was soon holden to decide what to do with us4 ,one proposed to place us under arrest1 a sentiment we rather hoped might prevail1 as it might prevent our being sent on to the front2 but another1 in some spite and impatience1 insisted1 as it was their duty to supply a gun to every man and forward him1 that the guns should be put upon us1 and we be made to carry them4 ,accordingly the equipment was buckled about us1 and the straps of the guns being loosened1 they were thrust over our heads and hung upon our shoulders4 ,in this way we were urged forward through the streets of ,alexandria2 and1 having been put upon a long train of dirt cars1 were started for ,culpeper4 ,we came over a long stretch of desolated and deserted country1 through battlefields of previous summers1 and through many camps now lively with the work of this present campaign4 ,seeing1 for the first time1 a country made dreary by the war-blight1 a country once adorned with groves and green pastures and meadows and fields of waving grain1 and happy with a thousand homes1 now laid with the ground1 one realizes as he can in no other way something of the ruin that lies in the trail of a war4 ,but upon these fields of ,virginia1 once so fair1 there rests a two-fold blight1 first that of slavery1 now that of war4 ,when one contrasts the face of this country with the smiling hillsides and vales of ,new ,england1 he sees stamped upon it in characters so marked1 none but a blind man can fail to read1 the great irrefutable arguments against slavery and against war1 too2 and must be filled with loathing for these twin relics of barbarism1 so awful in the potency of their consequences that they can change even the face of the country4 ,through the heat of this long ride1 we felt our total lack of water and the meagreness of our supply of food4 ,our thirst became so oppressive as we were marched here from ,culpeper1 some four miles with scarcely a halt to rest1 under our heavy loads1 and through the heat and deep dust of the road1 that we drank water and dipped in the brooks we passed1 though it was discoloured with the soap the soldiers had used in washing4 ,the guns interfered with our walking1 and1 slipping down1 dragged with painful weight upon our shoulders4 ,poor ,p4,d4 fell out from exhaustion and did not come in till we had been some little time at the camp4 ,we were taken to the #dth ,vermont regiment and soon apportioned to companies4 ,though we waited upon the officer commanding the company in which we were placed1 and endeavoured to explain our situation1 we were required immediately after to be present at inspection of arms4 ,we declined1 but an attempt was made to force us to obedience1 first1 by the officers of the company1 then1 by those of the regiment2 but1 failing to exact obedience of us1 we were ordered by the colonel to be tied1 and1 if we made outcry1 to be gagged also1 and to be kept so till he gave orders for our release4 ,after two or three hours we were relieved and left under guard2 lying down on the ground in the open air1 and covering ourselves with our blankets1 we soon fell asleep from exhaustion1 and the fatigue of the day4 ,this morning the officers told us we must yield4 ,we must obey and serve4 ,we were threatened great severities and even death4 ,we seem perfectly at the mercy of the military power1 and1 more1 in the hands of the inferior officers1 who1 from their being far removed from ,washington1 feel less restraint from those ,regulations of the ,army1 which are for the protection of privates from personal abuse4 #bfth4 #ith month4--,yesterday my mind was much agitated3 doubts and fears and forebodings seized me4 ,i was alone1 seeking a resting-place and finding none4 ,it seemed as if ,god had forsaken me in this dark hour2 and the ,tempter whispered1 that after all ,i might be only the victim of a delusion4 ,my prayers for faith and strength seemed all in vain4 ,but this morning ,i enjoy peace1 and feel as though ,i could face anything4 ,though ,i am as a lamb in the shambles1 yet do ,i cry1 ,thy will be done1 and can indeed say1-- ,passive to ,his holy will ,trust ,i in my ,master still ,even though he slay me4 ,i mind me of the anxiety of our dear friends about home1 and of their prayers for us4 ,oh1 praise be to the ,lord for the peace and love and resignation that has filled my soul today6 ,oh1 the passing beauty of holiness6 ,there is a holy life that is above fear2 it is a close communion with ,christ4 ,i pray for this continually but am not free from the shadow and the tempter4 ,there is ever present with us the thought that perhaps we shall serve the ,lord the most effectually by our death1 and desire1 if that be the service ,he requires of us1 that we may be ready and resigned4 ,,regimental ,,hospital1 #dth ,vermont4 #bith4 #ith month4--,on the evening of the #bfth the ,colonel came to us apologizing for the roughness with which he treated us at first1 which was1 as he insisted1 through ignorance of our real character and position4 ,he told us if we persisted in our course1 death would probably follow2 though at another time he confessed to ,p4,d4 that this would only be the extreme sentence of court-martial4 ,he urged us to go into the hospital1 stating that this course was advised by ,friends about ,new ,york4 ,we were too well aware of such a fact to make any denial1 though it was a subject of surprise to us that he should be informed of it4 ,he pleaded with us long and earnestly1 urging us with many promises of indulgence and favour and attentions we found afterwards to be untrue4 ,he gave us till the next morning to consider the question and report our decision4 ,in our discussion of the subject among ourselves1 we were very much perplexed4 ,if all his statements concerning the ground taken by our ,society were true1 we seemed to be liable1 if we persisted in the course which alone seemed to us to be in accordance with ,truth1 to be exposed to the charge of over-zeal and fanaticism even among our own brethren4 ,regarding the work to be done in hospital as one of mercy and benevolence1 we asked if we had any right to refuse its performance2 and questioned whether we could do more good by endeavouring to bear to the end a clear testimony against war1 than by labouring by word and deed among the needy in the hospitals and camps4 ,we saw around us a rich field for usefulness in which there were scarce any labourers1 and toward whose work our hands had often started involuntarily and unbidden4 ,at last we consented to a trial1 at least till we could make inquiries concerning the ,colonel's allegations1 and ask the counsel of our friends1 reserving the privilege of returning to our former position4 ,at first a great load seemed rolled away from us2 we rejoiced in the prospect of life again4 ,but soon there prevailed a feeling of condemnation1 as though we had sold our ,master4 ,and that first day was one of the bitterest ,i ever experienced4 ,it was a time of stern conflict of soul4 ,the voice that seemed to say1 ,follow me1 as ,i sought guidance the night before1 kept pleading with me1 convincing of sin1 till ,i knew of a truth my feet had strayed from ,his path4 ,the ,scriptures1 which the day before ,i could scarcely open without finding words of strength and comfort1 seemed closed against me1 till after a severe struggle alone in the wood to which ,i had retired1 ,i consented to give up and retrace my steps in faith4 ,but it was too late4 ,l4,m4,m4 wishing to make a fair1 honest trial1 we were brought here--,p4,d4 being already here unwell4 ,we feel we are erring2 but scarce anything is required of us and we wait to hear from ,friends4 ,of these days of going down into sin1 ,i wish to make little mention4 ,i would that my record of such degradation be brief4 ,we wish to come to an understanding with our friends and the ,society before we move1 but it does not seem that we can repress the upheavings of ,truth in our hearts4 ,we are bruised by sin4 ,it is with pleasure ,i record we have just waited upon the ,colonel with an explanation of our distress of mind1 requesting him to proceed with court-martial4 ,we were kindly and tenderly received4 ,if you want a trial ,i can give it to you1 he answered4 ,the brigade has just marched out to join with the division for inspection4 ,after that we are to have attention to our case4 ,p4,m4 ,there is particular cause for congratulation in the consideration that we took this step this morning1 when now we receive a letter from ,h4,d4 charging us to faithfulness4 ,when lately ,i have seen dear ,l4,m4,m4 in the thoroughness and patience of his trial to perform service in hospital1 his uneasiness and the intensity of his struggle as manifested by his silence and disposition to avoid the company of his friends1 and seen him fail and declare to us1 ,i cannot stay here1 ,i have received a new proof1 and to me a strong one1 because it is from the experimental knowledge of an honest man1 that no ,friend1 who is really such1 desiring to keep himself clear of complicity with this system of war and to bear a perfect testimony against it1 can lawfully perform service in the hospitals of the ,army in lieu of bearing arms4 #ajth mo41 #c;d4--,today dawned fair and our ,camp is dry again4 ,i was asked to clean the gun ,i brought1 and declining1 was tied some two hours upon the ground4 #fth4 ,,at ,,washington4--,at first1 after being informed of our declining to serve in his hospital1 ,colonel ,foster did not appear altered in his kind regard for us4 ,but his spleen soon became evident4 ,at the time we asked for a trial by court-martial1 and it was his duty to place us under arrest and proceed with the preferring of his charges against us4 ,for a while he seemed to hesitate and consult his inferior officers1 and among them his ,chaplain4 ,the result of the conference was our being ordered into our companies1 that1 separated1 and with the force of the officers of a company bearing upon us1 we might the more likely be subdued4 ,yet the ,colonel assured ,l4,m4,m41 interceding in my behalf1 when the lieutenant commanding my company threatened force upon me1 that he should not allow any personal injury4 ,when we marched next day ,i was compelled to bear a gun and equipments4 ,my associates were more fortunate1 for1 being asked if they would carry their guns1 declined and saw no more trouble from them4 ,the captain of the company in which ,p4,d4 was placed told him he did not believe he was ugly about it1 and that he could only put him under arrest and prefer charges against him4 ,he accordingly was taken under guard1 where he lay till we left for here4 ,the next morning the men were busy in burnishing their arms4 ,when ,i looked toward the one ,i had borne1 yellow with rust1 ,i trembled in the weakness of the flesh at the trial ,i felt impending over me4 ,before the ,colonel was up ,i knocked at his tent1 but was told he was asleep1 though1 through the opening1 ,i saw him lying gazing at me4 ,although ,i felt ,i should gain no relief from him1 ,i applied again soon after4 ,he admitted me and1 lying on his bed1 inquired with cold heartlessness what ,i wanted4 ,i stated to him1 that ,i could never consent to serve1 and1 being under the war-power1 was resigned to suffer instead all the just penalties of the law4 ,i begged of him release from the attempts by violence to compel my obedience and service1 and a trial1 though likely to be made by those having no sympathy with me1 yet probably in a manner comformable to law4 ,he replied that he had shown us all the favour he should2 that he had1 now1 turned us over to the military power and was going to let that take its course2 that is1 henceforth we were to be at the mercy of the inferior officers1 without appeal to law1 justice1 or mercy4 ,he said he had placed us in a pleasant position1 against which we could have no reasonable objection1 and that we had failed to perform our agreement4 ,he wished to deny that our consent was only temporary and conditional4 ,he declared1 furthermore1 his belief1 that a man who would not fight for his country did not deserve to live4 ,i was glad to withdraw from his presence as soon as ,i could4 ,i went back to my tent and lay down for a season of retirement1 endeavouring to gain resignation to any event4 ,i dreaded torture and desired strength of flesh and spirit4 ,my trial soon came4 ,the lieutenant called me out1 and pointing to the gun that lay near by1 asked if ,i was going to clean it4 ,i replied to him1 that ,i could not comply with military requisitions1 and felt resigned to the consequences4 ,i do not ask about your feelings2 ,i want to know if you are going to clean that gun8 ,i cannot do it1 was my answer4 ,he went away1 saying1 ,very well1 and ,i crawled into the tent again4 ,two sergeants soon called for me1 and taking me a little aside1 bid me lie down on my back1 and stretching my limbs apart tied cords to my wrists and ankles and these to four stakes driven in the ground somewhat in the form of an ,x4 ,i was very quiet in my mind as ,i lay there on the ground soaked with the rain of the previous day1 exposed to the heat of the sun1 and suffering keenly from the cords binding my wrists and straining my muscles4 ,and1 if ,i dared the presumption1 ,i should say that ,i caught a glimpse of heavenly pity4 ,i wept1 not so much from my own suffering as from sorrow that such things should be in our own country1 where ,justice and ,freedom and ,liberty of ,conscience have been the annual boast of ,fourth-of-,july orators so many years4 ,it seemed that our forefathers in the faith had wrought and suffered in vain1 when the privileges they so dearly bought were so soon set aside4 ,and ,i was sad1 that one endeavouring to follow our dear ,master should be so generally regarded as a despicable and stubborn culprit4 ,after something like an hour had passed1 the lieutenant came with his orderly to ask me if ,i was ready to clean the gun4 ,i replied to the orderly asking the question1 that it could but give me pain to be asked or required to do anything ,i believed wrong4 ,he repeated it to the lieutenant just behind him1 who advanced and addressed me4 ,i was favoured to improve the opportunity to say to him a few things ,i wished4 ,he said little2 and1 when ,i had finished1 he withdrew with the others who had gathered around4 ,about the end of another hour his orderly came and released me4 ,i arose and sat on the ground4 ,i did not rise to go away4 ,i had not where to go1 nothing to do4 ,as ,i sat there my heart swelled with joy from above4 ,the consolation and sweet fruit of tribulation patiently endured4 ,but ,i also grieved1 that the world was so far gone astray1 so cruel and blind4 ,it seemed as if the gospel of ,christ had never been preached upon earth1 and the beautiful example of his life had been utterly lost sight of4 ,some of the men came about me1 advising me to yield1 and among them one of those who had tied me down1 telling me what ,i had already suffered was nothing to what ,i must yet suffer unless ,i yielded2 that human flesh could not endure what they would put upon me4 ,i wondered if it could be that they could force me to obedience by torture1 and examined myself closely to see if they had advanced as yet one step toward the accomplishment of their purposes4 ,though weaker in body1 ,i believed ,i found myself1 through divine strength1 as firm in my resolution to maintain my allegiance to my ,master4 ,the relaxation of my nerves and muscles after having been so tensely strained left me that afternoon so weak that ,i could hardly walk or perform any mental exertion4 ,i had not yet eaten the mean and scanty breakfast ,i had prepared1 when ,i was ordered to pack up my things and report myself at the lieutenant's tent4 ,i was accustomed to such orders and complied1 little moved4 ,the lieutenant received me politely with1 ,good-morning1 ,mr4 ,pringle1 and desiring me to be seated1 proceeded with the writing with which he was engaged4 ,i sat down in some wonderment and sought to be quiet and prepared for any event4 ,you are ordered to report to ,washington1 said he2 ,i do not know what it is for4 ,i assured him that neither did ,i know4 ,we were gathered before the ,major's tent for preparation for departure4 ,the regimental officers were there manifesting surprise and chagrin2 for they could not but show both as they looked upon us1 whom the day before they were threatening to crush into submission1 and attempting also to execute their threats that morning1 standing out of their power and under orders from one superior to their ,major ,commanding ,e4,m4 ,as the bird uncaged1 so were our hearts that morning4 ,short and uncertain at first were the flights of ,hope4 ,as the slave many times before us1 leaving his yoke behind him1 turned from the plantations of ,virginia and set his face toward the far ,north1 so we from out a grasp as close and as abundant in suffering and severity1 and from without the line of bayonets that had so many weeks surrounded us1 turned our backs upon the camp of the #dth ,vermont and took our way over the turnpike that ran through the tented fields of ,culpeper4 ,at the ,war ,office we were soon admitted to an audience with the ,adjutant ,general1 ,colonel ,townsend1 whom we found to be a very fine man1 mild and kind4 ,he referred our cases to the ,secretary of ,war1 ,stanton1 by whom we were ordered to report for service to ,surgeon ,general ,hammond4 ,here we met ,isaac ,newton1 ,commissioner of ,agriculture1 waiting for our arrival1 and ,james ,austin of ,nantucket1 expecting his son1 ,charles ,l4 ,austin1 and ,edward ,w4 ,holway of ,sandwich1 ,mass41 conscripted ,friends like ourselves1 and ordered here from the #bbnd ,massachusetts4 ,we understand it is through the influence of ,isaac ,newton that ,friends have been able to approach the heads of ,government in our behalf and to prevail with them to so great an extent4 ,he explained to us the circumstance in which we are placed4 ,that the ,secretary of ,war and ,president sympathized with ,friends in their present suffering1 and would grant them full release1 but that they felt themselves bound by their oaths that they would execute the laws1 to carry out to its full extent the ,conscription ,act4 ,that there appeared but one door of relief open1--that was to parole us and allow us to go home1 but subject to their call again ostensibly1 though this they neither wished nor proposed to do4 ,that the fact of ,friends in the ,army and refusing service had attracted public attention so that it was not expedient to parole us at present4 ,that1 therefore1 we were to be sent to one of the hospitals for a short time1 where it was hoped and expressly requested that we would consent to remain quiet and acquiesce1 if possible1 in whatever might be required of us4 ,that our work there would be quite free from objection1 being for the direct relief of the sick2 and that there we would release none for active service in the field1 as the nurses were hired civilians4 ,these requirements being so much less objectionable than we had feared1 we felt relief1 and consented to them4 ,i4,n4 went with us himself to the ,surgeon ,general's office1 where he procured peculiar favours for us3 that we should be sent to a hospital in the city1 where he could see us often2 and that orders should be given that nothing should interfere with our comfort1 or our enjoyment of our consciences4 ,thence we were sent to ,medical ,purveyor ,abbot1 who assigned us to the best hospital in the city1 the ,douglas ,hospital4 ,the next day after our coming here ,isaac ,newton and ,james ,austin came to add to our number ,e4,w4,h4 and ,c4,l4,a41 so now there are five of us instead of three4 ,we are pleasantly situated in a room by ourselves in the upper or fourth story1 and are enjoying our advantages of good quarters and tolerable food as no one can except he has been deprived of them4 #ajth month #hth4--,today we have a pass to go out to see the city4 #ith4--,we all went1 thinking to do the whole city in a day1 but before the time of our passes expired1 we were glad to drag ourselves back to the rest and quiet of ,d4,h4 ,during the day we called upon our friend ,i4,n4 in the ,patent ,office4 ,when he came to see us on the #gth1 he stated he had called upon the ,president that afternoon to request him to release us and let us go home to our friends4 ,the ,president promised to consider it over-night4 ,accordingly yesterday morning1 as ,i4,n4 told us1 he waited upon him again4 ,he found there a woman in the greatest distress4 ,her son1 only a boy of fifteen years and four months1 having been enticed into the ,army1 had deserted and been sentenced to be shot the next day4 ,as the clerks were telling her1 the ,president was in the ,war ,office and could not be seen1 nor did they think he could attend to her case that day4 ,i4,n4 found her almost wild with grief4 ,do not despair1 my good woman1 said he1 ,i guess the ,president can be seen after a bit4 ,he soon presented her case to the ,president1 who exclaimed at once1 ,that must not be1 ,i must look into that case1 before they shoot that boy2 and telegraphed at once to have the order suspended4 ,i4,n4 judged it was not a fit time to urge our case4 ,we feel we can afford to wait1 that a life may be saved4 ,but we long for release4 ,we do not feel easy to remain here4 #aath4--,today we attended meeting held in the house of a ,friend1 ,asa ,arnold1 living near here4 ,there were but four persons beside ourselves4 ,e4,w4,h4 and ,c4,l4,a4 showed their copy of the charges about to have been preferred against them in court-martial before they left their regiment1 to a lawyer who attended the meeting4 ,he laughed at the ,specification of ,mutiny1 declaring such a charge could not have been lawfully sustained against them4 ,the experiences of our new friends were similar to ours1 except they fell among officers who usually showed them favour and rejoiced with them in their release4 #acth4--,l4,m4,m4 had quite an adventure yesterday4 ,he being fireman with another was in the furnace room among three or four others1 when the officer of the day1 one of the surgeons1 passed around on inspection4 ,stand up1 he ordered them1 wishing to be saluted4 ,the others arose2 but by no means ,l4 ,the order was repeated for his benefit1 but he sat with his cap on1 telling the surgeon he had supposed he was excused from such things as he was one of the ,friends4 ,thereat the officer flew at him1 exclaiming1 he would take the ,quaker out of him4 ,he snatched off his cap and seizing him by the collar tried to raise him to his feet2 but finding his strength insufficient and that ,l4 was not to be frightened1 he changed his purpose in his wrath and calling for the corporal of the guard had him taken to the guard-house4 ,this was about eleven ,a4,m4 and he lay there till about six ,p4,m41 when the surgeon in charge1 arriving home and hearing of it1 ordered the officer of the day to go and take him out1 telling him never to put another man into the guard-house while he was in charge here without consulting him4 ,the manner of his release was very satisfactory to us1 and we waited for this rather than effect it by our own efforts4 ,we are all getting uneasy about remaining here1 and if our release do not come soon1 we feel we must intercede with the authorities1 even if the alternative be imprisonment4 ,the privations ,i have endured since leaving home1 the great tax upon my nervous strength1 and my mind as well1 since ,i have had charge of our extensive correspondence1 are beginning to tell upon my health and ,i long for rest4 #bjth4 ,we begin to feel we shall have to decline service as heretofore1 unless our position is changed4 ,i shall not say but we submit too much in not declining at once1 but it has seemed most prudent at least to make suit with ,government rather than provoke the hostility of their subalterns4 ,we were ordered here with little understanding of the true state of things as they really exist here2 and were advised by ,friends to come and make no objections1 being assured it was but for a very brief time and only a matter of form4 ,it might not have been wrong2 but as we find we do too much fill the places of soldiers 7,l4,m4,m4's fellow fireman has just left for the field1 and ,i am to take his place1 for instance71 and are clearly doing military service1 we are continually oppressed by a sense of guilt1 that makes our struggles earnest4 #bast4--,i4,n4 has not called yet2 our situation is becoming almost intolerable4 ,i query if patience is justified under the circumstances4 ,my distress of mind may be enhanced by my feeble condition of health1 for today ,i am confined to my bed1 almost too weak to get downstairs4 ,this is owing to exposure after being heated over the furnaces4 #bfth4--,though a week has gone by1 and my cold has left me1 ,i find ,i am no better1 and that ,i am reduced very low in strength and flesh by the sickness and pain ,i am experiencing4 ,yet ,i still persist in going below once a day4 ,the food ,i am able to get is not such as is proper4 #aath mo41 #eth4--,i spend most of my time on my bed1 much of it alone4 ,and very precious to me is the nearness unto the ,master ,i am favoured to attain to4 ,notwithstanding my situation and state1 ,i am happy in the enjoyment of ,his consolations4 ,lately my confidence has been strong1 and ,i think ,i begin to feel that our patience is soon to be rewarded with relief2 insomuch that a little while ago1 when dear ,p4,d4 was almost overcome with sorrow1 ,i felt bold to comfort him with the assurance of my belief1 that it would not be long so4 ,my mind is too weak to allow of my reading much2 and1 though ,i enjoy the company of my companions a part of the time1 especially in the evening1 ,i am much alone2 which affords me abundant time for meditation and waiting upon ,god4 ,the fruits of this are sweet1 and a recompense for affliction4 #fth4--,last evening ,e4,w4,h4 saw ,i4,n4 particularly on my behalf1 ,i suppose4 ,he left at once for the ,president4 ,this morning he called to inform us of his interview at the ,white ,house4 ,the ,president was moved to sympathy in my behalf1 when ,i4,n4 gave him a letter from one of our ,friends in ,new ,york4 ,after its perusal he exclaimed to our friend1 ,i want you to go and tell ,stanton that it is my wish all those young men be sent home at once4 ,he was on his way to the ,secretary this morning as he called4 ,later4 ,i4,n4 has just called again informing us in joy that we are free4 ,at the ,war ,office he was urging the ,secretary to consent to our paroles1 when the ,president entered4 ,it is my urgent wish1 said he4 ,the ,secretary yielded2 the order was given1 and we were released4 ,what we had waited for so many weeks was accomplished in a few moments by a ,providential ordering of circumstances4 #gth4--,i4,n4 came again last evening bringing our paroles4 ,the preliminary arrangements are being made1 and we are to start this afternoon for ,new ,york4 ,note4 ,rising from my sick-bed to undertake this journey1 which lasted through the night1 its fatigues overcame me1 and upon my arrival in ,new ,york ,i was seized with delirium from which ,i only recovered after many weeks1 through the mercy and favour of ,him1 who in all this trial had been our guide and strength and comfort4 ,,the ,,end ,,printed ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states ,,of ,,america ,the following pages contain advertisements of a few of the ,macmillan books on kindred subjects ,the ,heart of the ,puritan ,by ,,elizabeth ,,deering ,,hanscom #a4ej ,the purpose of this volume is stated by the editor in these words3 ,i determined to bring together in one place in a convenient compendium1 as it were1 some gleanings from many and dusty tomes1 some fragments of reality1 in the hope that from them might radiate for others1 as for me1 shafts of light to penetrate the past4 ,the result is unique in the revelation afforded in the ,puritans' own words of their daily walk and conversation and of that inner temper which governed their public acts4 ,the range is from orders for clothes and directions for an ,atlantic voyage to the soul searchings of ,cotton ,mather and the spiritual ecstasies of ,mrs4 ,jonathan ,edwards4 ,the idea is a happy one1 and ,miss ,hanscom carries it through with great tact and deftness4 ,,the ,,macmillan ,,company ,publishers #fd-ff ,fifth ,avenue ,new ,york ,the ,tree of ,heaven ,by ,,may ,,sinclair ,cloth1 #a4fj ,a singularly penetrating story of modern life1 written in the author's very best manner4 ,the scheme1 the root motive of the book1 may be said to be a vindication of the present generation--the generation that was condemned as neurotic and decadent by common consent a little more than three years ago1 but is now enduring the ordeal of the war with great singleness of heart4 ,this theme1 in ,miss ,sinclair's hands1 assumes big proportions and gives her at the same time ample opportunity for character analysis1 in which art she is equalled by few contemporary writers4 ,,the ,,macmillan ,,company ,publishers #fd-ff ,fifth ,avenue ,new ,york ,fairhope3 ,the ,annals of a ,country ,church ,by ,,edgar ,,dewitt ,,jones ,cloth1 #abmo41 #a4be ,fairhope meeting-house is in the northermost country of ,kentucky1 in the midst of a populous farming community4 ,in this book ,mr4 ,jones1 a life-long member of the community1 tells the story of ,fairhope meeting-house4 ,the book is a remarkably sympathetic and appealing account of a phase of ,american rural life at a time when religion was always the uppermost topic in people's minds4 ,simple narratives of our people1 our preachers1 and the lights and shadows of our rural religious life--is the author's modest description of his work4 ,but this gives no hint of the book's peculiar charm4 ,those who love birds and stretches of green meadow1 glimpses of lordly and high hills1 the soil and the sincere life lived on it1 will find here a genuine delight4 ,above all is the interest in the preachers themselves4 ,there were giants in those days1 and for the most part our ministers were good and noble men4 ,of their goodness and sincerity these annals bear witness6 ,,the ,,macmillan ,,company ,publishers #fd-ff ,fifth ,avenue ,new ,york ,christine ,by ,,alice ,,cholmondeley ,cloth1 #abmo41 #a4be ,a book which is true in essentials--so real that one is tempted to doubt whether it is fiction at all--doubly welcome and doubly important4444 ,it would be difficult indeed to find a book in which the state of mind of the ,german people is pictured so cleverly1 with so much understanding and convincing detail4444 ,intelligent1 generous1 sweet-natured1 broadminded1 quick to see and to appreciate all that is beautiful either in nature or in art1 rejoicing humbly over her own great gift1 endowed with a keen sense of humour1 ,christine's is a thoroughly wholesome and lovable character4 ,but charming as ,christine's personality and her literary style both are1 the main value of the book lies in its admirably lucid analysis of the ,german mind4--,new ,york ,times4 ,absolutely different from preceding books of the war4 ,its very freedom and girlishness of expression1 its very simplicity and open-heartedness1 prove the truth of its pictures4--,new ,york ,world4 ,a luminous story of a sensitive and generous nature1 the spontaneous expression of one spirited1 affectionate1 ardently ambitious1 and blessed with a sense of humour4--,boston ,herald4 ,the next time some sentimental old lady of either sex1 who 'can't see why we have to send our boys abroad1' comes into your vision1 and you know they are too unintelligent 7they usually are7 to understand a serious essay1 try to trap them into reading ',christine4' ,if you succeed we know it will do them good4--,town and ,country4 ,,the ,,macmillan ,,company ,publishers #fd-ff ,fifth ,avenue ,new ,york