,,the ,,first ,,soprano by ,,mary ,,hitchcock ,author of ,one ,christmas ,union ,gospel ,press ,cleveland1 ,ohio #aiab ,,contents ,,chapter ,i ,,in ,,the ,,church ,,ii ,,the ,,house ,,of ,,gray ,,iii ,,the ,,confession ,,iv ,,adele ,v ,,is ,,god ,,demonstrable8 ,,vi ,,mr4 ,,frothingham ,,and ,,the ,,choir ,,rehearsal ,,vii ,a ,,new ,,sunday ,,viii ,,not ,,of ,,the ,,world ,,ix ,,two ,,of ,,me ,x ,,the ,,church ,,social ,,xi ,,mr4 ,,bond',s ,,lecture ,,xii ,,the ,,soul ,,hears ,a ,,cause ,,xiii ,,experience ,,xiv ,a ,,witless1 ,,worthless ,,lamb ,,xv ,,sell ,,that ,,ye ,,have ,,xvi ,,the ,,missionary ,,meeting ,,xvii ,,let ,,the ,,dead ,,bury ,,their ,,dead ,,xviii ,,god1 ,,my ,,exceeding ,,joy ,,chapter ,i ,,in ,,the ,,church ,it was ,sunday morning in a church at ,new ,laodicea4 ,the bell had ceased pealing and the great organ began its prelude with deep bass notes that vibrated through the stately building4 ,the members of the choir were all in their places in the rear gallery1 and prepared in order their music in the racks before them4 ,below the worshipers poured in steady1 quiet streams down the carpeted aisles to their places1 and there was a gentle murmur of silk as ladies settled in their pews and bowed their heads for the conventional moment of prayer4 ,exquisitely stained windows challenged the too garish daylight1 but permitted to enter subdued rays in azure1 violet and crimson tints which fell athwart the eastern pews and garnished the marble font and the finely carved pulpit4 ,they fell upon the silvering hair of the ,reverend ,doctor ,schoolman as he pronounced the invocation and read the opening hymn1 but they failed to reach the young stranger1 seated behind1 who accompanied him this morning4 ,faultlessly in their usual current ran the services until the time for the anthem by the choir1 and then the people settled themselves comfortably in their pews with expectant faces and ears slightly turned to catch every strain from the well-trained voices in the gallery behind4 ,this time the selection was from ,mendelssohn and a soprano voice began alone3 ,oh1 for the wings1 for the wings of a dove6 ,far away1 far away would ,i rove6 ,clear1 pure and true1 the sweet voice floated through the church4 ,with dramatic sympathy it yielded to the spirit of the melody and the pathos of the words4 ,it touched hearts with a sense of undefined sorrow and longing4 ,madame ,chapeau1 the ,french milliner1 who rented a sitting in the church of her patrons1 sat with eyes filled with tears that threatened to plough pale furrows through the roses of her cheeks4 ,in the wilderness build me a nest1 suggested the sweet voice4 ,two weeks in a lonely country place had been far too long the summer before for ,madame1 and a wilderness was the last place she desired4 ,but the plaintive song touched a sentimental chord and answered every purpose4 ,mr4 ,stockman1 who sat midway of the center aisle1 grasping his gold-headed cane1 suffered the keen business lines of his face to relax and looked palpably pleased4 ,he recalled the money contributed to the expense of the choir1 and reflected that he would not withdraw a dollar of it4 ,to be sure1 he remembered that the services of this soprano1 daughter of ,robert ,gray1 the iron merchant and elder of the church1 were gratuitous2 but still he was glad to associate the thought of his money with the choir that could render such music4 ,and presently the chorus joined in the song1 and many voices added their harmony1 to the increasing passion of the cry3 ,in the wilderness build me a nest1 ,and remain there forever at rest6 ,sensitive souls thrilled to the music1 which unquestionably always added the capstone to the aesthetic enjoyment of this1 the most elegant church at ,new ,laodicea4 ,the minister sat with a studied expression of approbation and subdued enjoyment4 ,the young stranger at his side sat with eyes shaded by his hand4 ,the choir seated themselves with pleased relief1 for there had been no noticeable flaw in the production4 ,the leader's sensitive face looked as nearly satisfied as it ever became over any performance4 ,the organist slid off his bench and dropped into his chair to listen to the sermon--or1 perhaps not to listen4 ,but he had done his part well1 faithfully filling in all the interstices of time between numbers of the program1 so that the congregation had been bored by no moments of silence nor thrust back upon the necessity of meditation4 ,there were a few words of introduction1 and it was found that the stranger was to speak4 ,he was just a trifle surprising in appearance1 for his coat had no ministerial cut1 and was even a bit more suggestive of business than of the profession of divinity4 ,but he was soon forgiven this2 for his voice was even and pleasant1 and he looked at his congregation with a pair of frank blue eyes1 while he spoke with the simplicity of a man who has somewhat to say to his fellowmen and says it honestly4 ,his text excited no curiosity1 for it was this3 ,the hour cometh1 and now is1 when the true worshipers shall worship the ,father in spirit and in truth4 ,in the choir ,miss ,winifred ,gray had composed herself to listen4 ,fortunately she was at the rear of her admiring hearers and had not to confront their faces as she sat down4 ,she had enjoyed her part exceedingly4 ,she loved her music1 and the greater its pathos the keener her enjoyment in rendering it4 ,there was a subtle sense of power1 too1 which she did not analyze1 in moving a whole congregation to admiration and sympathy4 ,with her whole heart she had entered into her musical work1 in which the church divided attention with the drawing-room and an occasional concert4 ,she sat now in pleased triumph and had no ears for the opening words of the young man's sermon4 ,but it dawned upon her gradually that he was speaking from the words1 in spirit and in truth4 ,he spoke of the former worship which dealt with externals of place and method--with carnal ordinances imposed until a time of reformation2 and then of a new era of worship which ,christ had brought in1 wherein true worshipers draw nigh to ,god1 not with sensuous offerings1 but in spirit and in truth4 ,winifred could not follow all that he said1 for it seemed a new and strange language for the most part1 but she gathered this3 that somehow ,christ had opened the way for all believers into the very spiritual presence of ,god1 into a holy place not made with hands 7and the more real because it was not1 being ,god-made and eternal71 and that there worshipers stood before eyes of perfect discernment1 unclothed by outward semblance1 and offered spiritual sacrifices unto ,him4 ,it was a beautiful picture1 but awful4 ,winifred shuddered as she thought of the august ,presence that inhabited the ,holiest of ,all that the minister spoke of1 and wondered if she would dare approach it4 ,to stand in naked spirit before eyes of flame and to be read through and through1 daring to speak no unmeant word1 but only that which the heart designed1 in absolute sincerity6 ,was worship in spirit such a real thing as that8 ,was she a true worshiper8 ,why was she there that morning8 ,she glanced about the building1 with its arches and columns1 its stained windows1 and almost perfect arrangement of form and color4 ,but the minister was saying3 ,this material structure is not the house of ,god4 ,no longer is ,god localized to our faith as in the days of symbol and shadow1 when surely ,jerusalem was 'the place where men ought to worship4' ,for the symbol has given place to the 'truth1' and in that1 'in spirit1' men worship4 ,but while in every place1 or1 better still1 without reference to place--'neither in this mountain nor in ,jerusalem'--true worshipers shall find ,him1 still ,his spiritual people form a temple for ,his manifestation1 wherever they are gathered1 and there is ,he4 ',in the midst' ,he takes ,his rightful place1 and that place we must accord ,him--the center of our heart's attention and worship4 ,winifred resumed her question4 ,why had she come8 ,was it to meet that ,one1 to gaze in spirit upon ,his pierced hands and side1 as the minister was saying1 and to rejoice in ,him as the risen ,lord8 ,she did not quite know what he meant4 ,she went back over the morning's experience1 beginning with her dressing-room1 when before her mirror she donned her new and very pretty silk dress and arranged all her faultless toilet1 adjusting the modish hat that became so well her own type of beauty1 fitted on the fresh1 dainty gloves that should clasp her beloved music when she should open her throat and sing like a glad bird1 delighting in its song1 however plaintive4 ,and then she had gone4 ,had she thought of ,him in all this8 ,winifred's honest soul said1 ,no4 ,but church8 ,she had thought of church1 with all that it stood for of building1 and congregation1 and set order of things1 and there had been a sort of subconscious satisfaction in the fact that going to church was a religious thing to do1 and that to sing in the choir 7especially for no pay1 as she did7 was very meritorious4 ,but was it so8 ,the minister was saying3 ,if worship is not sincere1 it becomes1 spiritually1 an abomination4 ,if1 for instance1 our singing1 instead of being a true sacrifice of praise to ,god degenerates into the sensuous enjoyment of a 'concourse of sweet sounds1' it is no longer worship1 and it is not even an innocent employment4 ,however fine it may be as a musical entertainment1 if offered as a substitute for worship it may be likened to the offering of 'strange fire1' which met such instant judgment in the time of ,moses4 ,winifred winced under the clear1 bold words4 ,there was a little well-bred stir in the congregation4 ,doctor ,schoolman's disciplined countenance betrayed a startled moment and then relapsed into an expression of bland1 but non-committal interest4 ,winifred glanced about to see how her neighbors were taking it4 ,she looked first at ,george ,frothingham1 for he and she were unusually good friends4 ,his handsome face showed only abstraction1 and she knew he had not heard a word that was said4 ,she glanced warily back toward the organ and saw the player in his chair1 but he was indulging in a few winks of sleep4 ,his duties at the theater the night before had illy prepared him for very wakeful attention to the sermon1 and other influences were telling upon him1 too1 for the man of music knew the taste of wines4 ,the leader of the choir was listening4 ,his penetrating eyes were fixed upon the calm-faced man in the pulpit1 and an unconscious scowl bent his dark brows4 ,yet it was not an angry frown1 but simply intent4 ,he looked half defensive1 half convicted4 ,the minister went on3 ,i fear that this is an unusual way of looking at it1 and that we are all too accustomed to pass unchallenged our professed worship4 ,vice may be so habitual and under such common sanction as to be mistaken for virtue4 ,but surely in the most vital matter of our intercourse with ,god we do well to let every act be tested by the truth4 ,it shall be so tested eventually1 whether we will or no2 and even now in the midst of the churches the ,son of ,man is walking1 still with eyes of flame1 and still ,he is saying3 ',i know thy works4' ,winifred's next excursion in thought away from the sermon led her to review her part of the morning program1 and she wondered if the minister thought of it too4 ,the hymns8--she had forgotten what they were4 ,but the anthem--was it unto the ,lord she sang her part8 ,was there an atom of sincerity in the sentiment she sang8 ,the words were from a ,psalm1 she thought1 and she did not really understand what ,david meant4 ,had she any clearer ideas as to what ,winifred ,gray might mean8 ,she surely did not wish the wings of a dove1 literally1 nor to fly away into the wilderness4 ,she loved her home and many friends and had no desire to escape from them or her surroundings4 ,if it meant to fly away to heaven--8 ,surely she did not wish that6 ,the world and the things that are in the world were very attractive to the young soprano4 ,she had no wish for heaven save as an alternative from hell4 ,what did it mean8 ,was it a heart-rest that ,david longed for8 ,but she had been conscious of no unrest--until just now4 ,honestly1 the truth was that she had not meant anything6 ,was it worship8 ,but her friends would tell her she sang it with feeling1 she argued defensively1 and then asked herself candidly1 what sort of feeling8 ,she had sung ,mignon's song with equal sympathy the night before4 ,she confessed the truth2 it was dramatic instinct that led her in both songs1 and the ,spirit of ,god in neither4 ,i am a hypocrite1 she cried within herself1 and no true worshiper6 ,then she thought of the positive side of her action4 ,while there was no offering to ,god1 she had received in her own heart the subtle incense of the people's praise4 ,enveloped in its cloud she had sat until the sermon disturbed her4 ,she wished the young stranger had not come to preach4 ,doctor ,schoolman's sermons were nice1 and learned1 and elevating1 and never gave her such uncomfortable thoughts6 ,had he preached this morning all might have gone on as before so pleasantly4 ,and now8--should it not go on8 ,could she think for a moment of stopping it all8 ,impossible6 ,but to go on with it was--abomination6 ,that was what the preacher said4 ,perhaps he was wrong1 or she misunderstood4 ,doctor ,schoolman would know4 ,but what said her own conscience8 ,after all1 she knew the battle must be fought out there4 ,was it not sin to take sacred words on her lips and not mean them8 ,how many times had she taken ,god's name in vain1 pouring out pretended invocation to ,him1 while her heart addressed only the congregation for their approval6 ,but it had been so thoughtless6 ,he would surely forgive4 ,but now she had thought about it1 and it could never be the same again4 ,by this time ,winifred was thoroughly miserable4 ,she pondered over and again what she should do1 at times in imagination resigning her position in the choir2 then saying3 ,impossible6 ,it is absurd6 ,who ever heard of its being wicked to sing in the choir8 ,how could ,i explain myself8 ,then she reflected that she would study to be earnest1 that she would school herself to think of ,him and sing to ,him4 ,she took her hymn-book and found the place of the last hymn1 resolved to put sincerity in practice at once4 ,it was chosen1 without reference to the unexpected sermon1 and was the well-known psalm of love and longing which earnest souls have sung for many years3 ,for thee1 ,o dear1 dear country1 ,mine eyes their vigils keep2 ,for very love1 beholding ,thy happy name they weep4 ,the mention of ,thy glory ,is unction to the breast1 ,and medicine in sickness1 ,and love1 and life1 and rest4 ,i cannot sing it6 ,winifred almost sobbed to herself4 ,it is not true--to me4 ,then she read on4 ,before1 she would have been carried away with the rhythm and the graceful thought4 ,but now as she read3 ,oh1 sweet and blessed country ,that eager hearts expect6 ,it's not true--it's not true6 she thought4 ,i cannot sing these songs4 ,i know nothing of their sentiment4 ,i am not a true worshiper of the ,father4 ,i do not believe ,i know ,him6 ,then ,winifred covered her eyes with her hand4 ',thou desirest truth in the inward parts1' the preacher was quoting4 ,the words sent a pang through her heart4 ,god has found no truth in me1 she thought1 ,i have been a lie4 ,then she sat in wretchedness1 fighting back the tears that struggled to escape--tears of shame1 remorse1 wounded self-love1 and grief that her favorite idol1 a god whom she did know and had served well1 was to be taken down from its niche in the house of the ,lord and cast out4 ,she heard little of the remainder of the sermon1 and what she heard added to her misery2 for it told of the joy of true worshipers when at last they should stand face to face with ,him whom1 having not seen1 they love1-- ,all rapture through and through ,in ,god's most holy sight4 ,the sense of isolation1 of exclusion from it all1 was very painful2 and ,winifred did not know that this very knowledge of exclusion1 and its grief1 were harbingers of eternally better things4 ,she stood with the others as they sang the closing hymn1 and her own silence was unobserved1 as she did not always join the chorus4 ,she had recovered her composure by the time the benediction was pronounced and the organ was yielding an unusually lively postlude to whose strains she and ,george ,frothingham descended the stairs together4 ,the old chap is almost waltzing us out to-day1 that gentleman remarked1 referring to the organist4 ,winifred1 you outdid yourself to-day on that lovely thing4 ,winifred smiled faintly4 ,did you hear the sermon to-day1 ,george8 she asked4 ,did ,i hear it8 ,well1 that's good4 ,do ,i hear sermons when ,i go to church8 ,but ,i confess to a little absentmindedness2 not to equal that of our friend at the organ1 however1 and ,george laughed4 ,then he caught sight of a group of people in the vestibule below and exclaimed3 ,hello6 ,there's your father and the preacher6 ,i believe he is going to take him home to dinner4 ,don't look for me under your hospitable roof to-day1 ,winifred4 ,why8 she began4 ,i have no taste for parsons4 ,he'll talk the backs off the chairs4 ,see if he doesn't4 ,good-by4 ,and the young man strode carelessly away4 ,winifred joined her mother in the vestibule1 and they held a whispered consultation as to the probabilities of the young minister's going home with them4 ,it seemed evident that ,mr4 ,gray had taken him captive4 ,take him in the carriage and let me walk1 mother1 ,winifred said1 ,i would much rather4 ,so she slipped away and did not meet the minister until dinner4 ,hubert ,gray1 ,winifred's only brother1 had also been at church that morning4 ,this was somewhat unusual1 for ,hubert was a sceptic1 and he did not like to appear what he was not4 ,but occasionally he went to hear what might be said and turn it over in his questioning brain4 ,he was a young man of strong aversions1 and one of his special dislikes happened to be the unfortunate ,doctor ,schoolman4 ,i hate cant1 he declared4 ,his very tones are studied and unnatural4 ,his voice quavers to order1 and if ,i should see tears on his face ,i should think he had pumped them up someway for effect4 ,i don't like to be practiced on4 ,i should like a man to believe something earnestly and say it honestly4 ,and so he stayed away for the most part1 but like many a man who is a sceptic1 found that the subject of the ,christ would not down1 and he could not let it alone4 ,so after absences he would go again to hear1 though it should be only to gain fresh occasion for his doubts or cynical criticisms4 ,to-day he was the first to arrive at home and met ,winifred in the hall as she came in4 ,the spiritual priesthood did very well to-day1 ,winnie1 he said1 by way of greeting4 ,i hope you all sang 'with grace in your hearts unto the ,lord4' ,i am sure ,frothingham did4 ,i saw him--eh1 ,winnie1 what's the matter8 ,for ,winifred had turned a quivering face toward her brother4 ,i didn't1 ,hubert1 she said4 ,there was no grace in my heart4 ,and then she hastened up the stairs to her room4 ,hm-m6 said ,hubert reflectively1 and repeated the observation at intervals until dinner was served4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,,the ,,house ,,of ,,gray ,the family gathered for dinner with its usual decorum4 ,winifred sat opposite the young minister1 and ,hubert was beside him4 ,mr4 ,robert ,gray carved the turkey with his usual skill and the sharpest of knives4 ,he began his anticipated discussion with the preacher3 ,your sermon fitted pretty closely to-day1 ,mr4 ,bond1 he said1 as he separated a joint successfully4 ,did it really8 said ,mr4 ,bond1 with a smile that lit up a singularly pleasant face4 ,i am glad to hear it4 ,that is what sermons are for1 ,i believe8 ,just so1 said ,mr4 ,gray1 and he added with a little chuckle of enjoyment1 ,i like it--,i like it4 ,we need it1 ,i assure you4 ,there is no question about that4 ,why1 ,winnie1 not a bit of the fowl8 ,you are losing your appetite1 child4 ,yes1 sir1 we need to be stirred up4 ,if there is anything ,i believe in1 it is sincerity4 ,but now1 don't you think1 ,mr4 ,bond1 that you put it just a little grain too stiff8 ,in what way1 ,mr4 ,gray8 ,well1 now1 ,i say the ,apostles' ,creed4 ,i know it by heart4 ,i don't know how many hundreds of times ,i have said it4 ,it says itself4 ,perhaps that is why ,i don't always stop to think what it does say4 ,but ,i do not suppose there is a word in it that ,i do not believe4 ,now if my mind happens to wander while ,i am1 saying it--if it happens1 mind you-- ,father1 ,julia is waiting for ,mr4 ,bond's plate1 interposed ,mrs4 ,gray softly from the other end of the table4 ,i beg your pardon4 ,then1 as the delinquent plate went to its destination1 ,if my mind happens to wander to some little matter of business1 or something or other1 while ,i say the ,creed--am ,i a hypocrite8 ,the merchant propounded the question with a note of triumph1 as though the bold-spoken minister were rather cornered now4 ,mr4 ,bond answered respectfully1 but with subdued amusement3 ,i think1 ,mr4 ,gray1 that the ,lord would recognize the absence of insincere intent1 but that so far as worship goes1 you might as well set some ,tibetan prayer-wheels going4 ,a gleam of enjoyment shot from ,hubert's eyes1 and a laugh almost escaped him4 ,ah1 just so--just so6 said ,mr4 ,gray1 a little discomfited4 ,but would it be better not to say it8 ,it would be better to mean it1 said ,mr4 ,bond4 ,he parries well1 thought ,hubert4 ,winifred1 said ,mrs4 ,gray1 off whose smooth nature these discussions rolled harmlessly1 the music was very fine this morning4 ,winifred1 who would have preferred almost any subject to this1 cast an appealing glance at her mother1 but it was unheeded4 ,she had hoped ,mr4 ,bond would not recognize her as the singer4 ,mrs4 ,gray went on3 ,mrs4 ,butterworth1 who sits just the other side of the partition from us1 you know1 was quite carried away4 ,she looked volumes at me1 but she just whispered 'heavenly6' ,she said after church she hoped you would come to her party next week and bring your songs4 ,you have such a gift1 she said4 ,and ,mrs4 ,gray herself sighed religiously at the thought of ,winnie's gift4 ,winnie could have sighed1 too1 but it was with torture4 ,mrs4 ,gray was a comfortable lady1 absorbed in the quiet machinery of a conventionally proper life4 ,she loved her family1 her church1 and a moderate amount of society4 ,she loved things4 ,quiet satisfaction beamed from the gentle eyes on the choice silver of the dining-room1 on her blue antique china1 on the costly1 tasteful accessories of the drawing-room1 and1 indeed1 on all the well chosen appointments of the quietly elegant home4 ,interest in her own person and its adornment had been gradually diverted toward ,winifred1 whose beauty1 grace of manner1 and accomplishments1 were an unfailing joy4 ,now she sighed in quiet gratitude to the vague deity known as ,providence for ,winifred's peculiarly sweet gift4 ,as to the sermon of the morning1 she was one of those hearers in whose mind a sermon and its application do not necessarily go together4 ,winifred felt two pairs of eyes upon her from across the table as her mother talked to her in a voice not intended to interrupt the gentlemen in their conversation4 ,there were ,hubert's eyes of darker brown than her own and very searching1 and the preacher's blue eyes that looked inquiringly through rimless eye-glasses4 ,she could think of no answer to her mother1 and so bent her eyes silently upon her plate1 while a flush rose to her temples4 ,mrs4 ,butterworth's rapturous heavenly was in strong contrast to the conviction of godless insincerity which filled her own heart4 ,mercifully to her embarrassment her father began again3 ,but do you not think1 ,mr4 ,bond1 that we must take things as they are8 ,granted that there is a great deal of unreality in the church1 what are we going to do about it8 ,can one man who sees the point work a revolution in the whole church8 ,must we not just take conditions as they are and make the best of them8 ,perhaps we may not hope to revolutionize a whole church1 replied ,mr4 ,bond1 but1 and his face grew stern with an expression that told of a battlefield already fought for and won1 he may refuse to add one unit to the aggregation of untrue worshipers1 or to uphold an organized system of unreality4 ,i sometimes fear1 ,mr4 ,gray1 and there was a ring of sadness in his voice1 that we too readily take conditions as they are1 and make the worst of them6 ,yes1 ,i am afraid you are right--you are right1 said the merchant slowly4 ,then he added1 but so far you have given us only a negative remedy4 ,my son here could go so far with you4 ,he washes his hands of the whole matter4 ,mr4 ,bond turned to ,hubert inquiringly4 ,really8 he questioned4 ,yes1 said ,hubert1 thus thrust unwillingly into the discussion1 ,i am no worshiper at all4 ,and may ,i ask why8 queried ,mr4 ,bond4 ,your book says that whoever comes to ,god must believe that ,he is1 and that ,he rewards those who seek ,him4 ,i am not sure of either proposition1 and so ,i do not pretend to come to ,him4 ,the frank eyes looked through the eyeglasses pleasantly4 ,are you sure of the contrary8 he asked4 ,no1 said ,hubert honestly4 ,admitting the supposition that ,he is1 and is a rewarder of them that seek ,him1 does it cover the ground of responsibility to ignore ,him because you are not sure8 ,perhaps not1 said ,hubert4 ,but1 he added doggedly1 if ,he is1 and wishes to be known and worshiped1 ,he ought to be demonstrable4 ,mrs4 ,gray looked a little frightened4 ,she never liked to hear ,hubert talk about those things1 and it was so mortifying to have him take such a stand against the church and everything everybody--at least most respectable people--believed4 ,she was sure he was saying something dreadful now4 ,mr4 ,gray looked apprehensive1 too4 ,winifred's self-revelation of the morning made her feel like casting no stones at her brother4 ,mr4 ,bond looked at ,hubert mildly4 ,i think you are quite right1 he said4 ,here the discussion seemed to end4 ,hubert could make no reply to the man who agreed with him4 ,an instinct to fight for his position had sprung up1 but he was disarmed by ,mr4 ,bond's assent to his proposition4 ,he was not accustomed to being met like that4 ,his father's loyal policy had been to protect his household from infidel talk1 and he had not taken too much pains to ascertain his son's point of view1 and if possible1 to lead him from it into light4 ,hubert had found some ,christian people ready to argue with him who would admit no position he held1 however logical1 believing that every arrow from the sceptic's quiver must be a poisoned one4 ,he withdrew in bitterness from such encounters4 ,to-day ,mr4 ,bond's honest sympathy with his outspoken conviction found a sensitive chord in the young man's stout-seeming heart4 ,conversation drifted to lesser things until the ample meal was finished1 and the little company broke up4 ,mr4 ,gray was sure his guest would wish a little rest and quiet in preparation for the evening service1 which assurance happily freed himself for the usual nap which his soul coveted after the ,sunday early dinner4 ,mrs4 ,gray departed for her own pretty room1 her dainty dressing gown1 silk draperies1 and gentle doze4 ,winifred went to her room to resume the battle that was on1 ,hubert betook himself to his accustomed walk4 ,walking down the avenue graced by his own home1 ,hubert glanced across the street and saw1 to his regret1 the handsome figure and airy step of ,george ,frothingham4 ,he hoped that gentleman did not see him1 for he disliked him and did not wish to be bored by a conversation4 ,hubert disliked ,frothingham on two separate counts3 first1 because he was not the sterling quality of man ,hubert thought he ought to be1 and secondly because1 being such a man as he was1 he still dared raise his miserable eyes toward ,winifred4 ,more than any other object in the world ,hubert loved his sister1 and his grief was very hot and sore when it became apparent that she and ,george were as good as engaged1 as all their circle of friends affirmed4 ,they were not actually so1 the ,george and ,winifred terms resulting from an acquaintance since childhood1 and had ,hubert been a praying man he would have prayed that such a consummation might never occur4 ,he voiced his sentiments unmistakably to ,winifred1 but on this point they could not agree4 ,it is one of your unreasonable dislikes1 she said1 and so they came perilously near a serious difference4 ,he isn't genuine--he isn't manly1 said ,hubert1 there is nothing to him4 ,his name ought to have stopped with the first syllable4 ,winifred had looked her indignation1 and mourned that ,hubert could not see the charming qualities that made ,frothingham popular with many4 ,hubert's wish that the young man should not see him was unrealized1 and he was speedily joined by him4 ,hello1 ,gray1 said ,mr4 ,frothingham1 affably4 ,he was always affable to ,hubert for obvious reasons4 ,i wonder if you are going to hear the ,reverend ,professor ,cutting's lecture on the ,higher ,criticism8 ,that's rather in your line1 isn't it8 ,you know they have found that a good lot of the ,bible is all rot4 ,i think they are a pack of asses1 said ,hubert1 savagely1 his opinions accentuated by dislike of his questioner4 ,indeed ,i am not going4 ,whew-w6 ,you surprise me1 ,hubert4 ,i thought you were a bit of a sceptic yourself8 ,so ,i am1 but ,i am not proud of the fact4 ,my doubts are quite enough for my own enjoyment without listening to ,prof4 ,cutting's unbeliefs4 ,but you know he talks from the ,christian standpoint4 ,he is not an unbeliever4 ,isn't he6 ,that's just what ,i object to in those men4 ,if they would confess themselves companions of the sceptical writers whom ,i have read and speak from a ,free ,thinkers' platform1 ,i would have some respect for them4 ,what do they believe that they did not8 ,they respected the life and teachings of ,jesus1 but did not believe in ,his inerrant knowledge nor assumption of divinity4 ,i do not see how any man can claim to be a ,christian and not believe that what ,jesus claimed for ,himself was true4 ,if not true1 ,he was either a deluded man and so unfit to lead others into absolute truth1 or ,he was a liar and morally unfit to teach4 ,i wonder that these men can't see through a ladder1 for all their learned research4 ,you are pretty hard on them1 ,hubert4 ,i am saying the simple truth4 ,i tell you ,i have no respect for those men4 ,to profess to be ,christians and from within the fort batter down its fortifications isn't honest4 ,that's right1 said ,frothingham1 who1 having no certain convictions of his own1 was prepared to enjoy a racy tirade from either side4 ,so you are wrong1 you see1 said ,hubert1 in thinking ,prof4 ,cutting's lecture in my line4 ,when ,i get ready to open a broadside against the ,christian religion1 ,i'll not put on a ministerial coat and collar to do it in4 ,you'd be shot in war if the enemy caught you in their clothes--and you'd deserve it6 ,that's right1 laughed ,george again4 ,tell me when you are going to deliver your broadside4 ,it will not be very soon1 said ,hubert4 ,i do not find such comfort in my doubts as to give me a missionary call to spread them4 ,they came to a turn in the road and parted4 ,hubert had had a more animated conversation with his sister's friend than he remembered ever to have had before4 ,he strode on alone through the park whither his steps had taken him1 still pursuing the same line of thought4 ,no1 he reflected1 why should ,i seek to communicate my doubts8 ,i never knew a man to be worse for believing in ,jesus ,christ4 ,i believe some men have been better for it4 ,certainly ,i do not admire the company ,i am in4 ,his mind reviewed a company such as would be called together by an infidel cause1 and he recoiled from it4 ,he saw socialist faces of the baser type1 ready but for the occasion to blossom into anarchism2 he saw clever women whose bold loosening of the yoke of conventional religion had relaxed also the hold of conventional morals1 and he was glad ,winifred was not among them2 he saw the face of ,doctor ,bossman1 the leader of the cause1 tall1 massive-browed1 handsome1 with bold1 full1 outstanding eyes1 a man of defiant words1 of jovial popularity1 and egregiously self-centered4 ,into the young man's mind1 in contrast to the proud face1 there flashed fragments of the words of the ,nazarene3 ,except ye be converted1 and become as little children6 ,he saw other faces not so typical1 and found himself seated amongst them1 and abhorred the fraternity cemented by a common unbelief--a cold negation4 ,he was unhappy4 ,he found no territory on which to stand4 ,he hated the cant and formalism that chilled him in the fashionable church4 ,he hated the insolent creed of the deist1 and the ignorance of the agnostic4 ,he seemed to be hating almost all things with himself included4 ,if he had been sure there was a ,god who heard mortals pray1 he would have cried to ,him to deliver him from so wretched a position4 ,but he roused himself from his reverie and sought to throw to the winds his unhappy feelings4 ,he walked back to the house endeavoring to think of to-morrow's business1 and determining to give himself to an interesting book when he got there4 ,winifred had a headache which was opportune4 ,by it she excused herself from tea and from church that evening4 ,her father carried her apologies to the leader of the choir4 ,mr4 ,gray alone of the family listened to the evening discourse1 and he listened well1 for the young minister spoke again with truth and earnestness4 ,the machinery of the meeting moved smoothly1 and ,george ,frothingham sang with much feeling1 ,if with all your hearts ye truly seek ,him4 ,in ,winifred's room the light burned late4 ,the battle waged there saw many tears and the confirmation of the edict put forth in the morning service that the false god must be taken from its niche in the house of the ,lord4 ,i will not be a hypocrite1 ,winifred said to herself4 ,i will not go through a theatrical display1 however refined and solemn1 and call it worship4 ,i am no true worshiper4 ,then she burst into fresh tears1 in which mingled grief that she was not a worshiper1 and sorrow that she must leave an occupation and associations so dear4 ,it seemed like taking out a good part of her life1 for ,winifred was young1 and things loved were ardently loved4 ,there was one who contested the ground with her in her room that night1 and told her she was no worse than others1 that they were as thoughtless and insincere as she2 that her course and theirs passed under the common sanction of churches everywhere1 and that there was no reason why she should be singular amongst all others4 ,why should she be disturbed from the commonly accepted course by a single sermon preached by a stranger1 and he a young man8 ,doctor ,schoolman had never said such things4 ,she might at least wait and talk it over with him or some wise person4 ,he might be able to show her that ,god did not really care whether people quite meant what they said in singing1 and that it was a meritorious thing1 as she had always thought1 to sing about ,him to other people and to sing well4 ,it might do people good4 ,some people had actually wept sometimes6 ,the last thought was very striking1 for ,winifred did not know well the ,word which is able to discriminate between soul and spirit1 and she mistook emotion for some sign of spirituality4 ,these arguments pressed hard1 and had in their favor the natural leaning of the heart that longed to go on with the loved employment4 ,but there was another longing too1 and it was to be honest4 ,and underneath all was the true beginning of wisdom--the fear of ,god4 ,the minister told the truth1 she said4 ,and if everybody else goes on with the farce ,i will do as he said to father at dinner3 'refuse to add one unit to the aggregation of untrue worshipers4' ,i'll join ,hubert outside of it all before ,i will go on6 ,then she wept afresh1 for the vision of isolation outside of it all was too painful4 ,the presence of ,god had grown awesome and the light of ,his eyes intolerable1 but outside was darkness unbearable4 ,she flung herself down beside the bed where many a time she had said prayers at night1 and sobbed3 ,o ,god1 ,i am not a true worshiper1 but ,i wish ,i were6 ,i have drawn nigh to ,thee with my lips while my heart was far from ,thee4 ,i have been a lie4 ,oh1 make me true6 make me true6 ,after this outburst of prayer she was calmer1 but remained silently upon her knees by the bedside4 ,gradually there came to her memory the substance of other words the minister had said2 ,into the presence and unto the very heart of ,god there is a blood-bought way opened by our blessed ,christ for the most wicked one who wishes to take it4 ,is there a way for me1 she prayed1 a way to come to ,thee just as ,i am8 ,and the sound of her own words brought back the memory of the old song1 familiar since her childhood3 ,just as ,i am without one plea1 ,but that ,thy blood was shed for me1 ,and that ,thou bidst me come to ,thee1 ,o ,lamb of ,god1 ,i come6 ,o ,god1 she cried1 ,i can sing that6 ,i do come1 just as ,i am--,i do come6 ,a sweet sense of rest1 such as she had never known1 stole into ,winifred's heart4 ,some ,one seemed to be welcoming her with ineffable tenderness4 ,she was not out in the dark1 but was at home with ,god4 ,the awful presence she had dreaded was infinitely sweet4 ,at last she stood in the ,holy ,place1 still foolish1 weak1 unworthy1 but with the glory of ,another's name covering her as with priestly robes1 and she worshiped4 ,,chapter ,,iii ,,the ,,confession ,when ,winifred awoke the nest morning it was to wonder if it were really true--if she had come to ,god and ,he had received her4 ,a sweet rest still in her heart testified to a burden lifted4 ,her ,bible lay open on the little table where she had found the minister's text while fighting her battle the day before4 ,a leaf or two had blown over1 and she looked down on the sixth chapter of ,john and read1 ,him that cometh to ,me ,i will in no wise cast out4 ,renewed assurance came with the words4 ,i believe it1 she said to herself4 ,i have been very false1 but ,he is true4 ,he says the truth4 ,i believe it4 ,the thought of the choir scarcely entered her mind now in her new-found joy4 ,the question1 to sing or not to sing1 had shifted to the deeper one of relationship to ,god1 and the peace that came with its settlement overshadowed everything else4 ,she went down to breakfast with a light heart and very cheerful countenance4 ,hubert looked at her in surprise from under gloomy brows4 ,his own had been a restless night4 ,has your headache gone1 dear8 asked her mother solicitously4 ,oh1 long ago1 ,mother1 said ,winifred4 ,she wanted to tell her mother the better news than of a headache gone1 but did not know how to begin4 ,they talked of ordinary things until breakfast was nearly over4 ,then ,mr4 ,gray said3 ,mr4 ,mercer was sorry to miss you from the choir last night1 ,winnie1 and hoped you were not going to be ill4 ,thank you1 ,father4 ,mr4 ,mercer is always very kind4 ,he hopes you will surely be at the rehearsal ,friday night1 as he expects to take up some specially fine music4 ,winifred's heart heat violently as she summoned courage to say3 ,i do not think ,i shall sing in the choir any more1 ,father4 ,why--what1 ,winnie8 ,what's that you are saying8 ,you not sing in the choir any more8 ,what are you saying1 ,winifred1 added ,mrs4 ,gray4 ,winifred nerved herself for the statement4 ,it might as well he said now as ever1 while they were all together4 ,yes1 ,father1 she said1 ,i do not think ,i can sing in the choir any longer4 ,i saw very clearly yesterday that ,i had never been a true worshiper4 ,i have never meant the words that ,i sang4 ,i have scarcely thought about ,god while ,i sang words about ,him or addressed to ,him4 ,many of them ,i could not say honestly4 ,it has all been for effect1 and to--to please you all4 ,so ,i--,i concluded--,i--couldn't go on any longer4 ,it had been a very difficult speech1 and ,winifred's voice sank at the end4 ,mr4 ,gray looked very grave4 ,you surprise me1 ,winnie1 he said4 ,you surprise me very much4 ,you should be conscientious1 surely1 but you will let me say ,i think you are taking the matter too seriously1 ,silent ,hubert shot a reproachful glance at his father4 ,in his estimation here was a case of downright honesty that called for applause1 not repression4 ,i think your father is right1 ,winifred1 said ,mrs4 ,gray faintly1 and then she added1 rather illogically1 but ,i do not understand just what you mean4 ,can ,i take the truth too seriously1 ,father8 asked ,winifred1 still speaking with an effort4 ,it was an ingenuous question1 but ,robert ,gray found it hard to answer4 ,no1 he said1 after a moment's hesitation1 not truth itself1 but we may get wrong ideas of it4 ,but1 ,winnie1 he added1 with real sorrow in his voice1 ,i hope you do not mean to tell us that you will not hereafter try to worship ,god1 since the past has been so unsatisfactory to you8 ,oh1 no1 ,father1 said ,winifred quickly1 with rising courage as her experience of the night before came vividly to her4 ,i have more to tell4 ,i was very unhappy about it all last night1 and--,i prayed--she blushed1 for it was new to speak of such things--,i prayed1 and it came to me that there was a way to come to ,god just as ,i was1 and ,he would make me a true worshiper2 and ,i came4 ,winifred's embarrassment could not quite cover her joy as she made her confession4 ,the father looked relieved4 ,i am thankful1--very thankful1 ,winnie1 he said4 ,you did nobly4 ,that was quite right--quite right4 ,but now ,i do not see that you need give up your singing1 but that you might go on sincerely where you have failed before4 ,he looked a little anxious1 for her singing in the church was very dear to him4 ,winifred's brow clouded4 ,i fear ,i cannot1 ,father4 ,not now1 at least4 ,no8 ,well1 we'll talk about it later1 he said kindly1 and they left the breakfast table4 ,in the hall ,hubert waited for ,winifred with his own form of benediction3 ,you're a brick1 ,winnie1 he said1 and planted a kiss upon her fair forehead4 ,she smiled and returned his kiss with an affectionate caress4 ,hubert's slangy praise was dearer to her than any polished compliment from another source4 ,hubert did not understand why he hated the world and things a little less as he walked to business that morning1 the stone walk answering to his usual sharp1 decisive step4 ,he did not know that it was a gleam of something pure and true1 of a religion not in word but in deed1 that had flashed across his path and mitigated its darkness4 ,winifred had a long talk alone with her father in the library later in the day4 ,she had thought out her reasons1 and understood better1 herself1 the instinctive feeling that led her not to resume her place in the choir under the altered conditions4 ,i am just beginning to worship1 ,father1 she said1 and ,i feel ,i could do so better out of sight--for awhile1 at least4 ,you do not know the temptation it would be to fall back into the old way4 ,i am afraid ,i could not stand it4 ,i would rather just slip into the congregation beside you1 ,father1 and sing to ,god when my heart sings1 and keep still when it doesn't4 ,so her father yielded the point to her conscience4 ,god bless you1 ,winnie1 he said with glistening eyes1 as he stroked her chestnut locks4 ,it may be ,i have been a bit of an idolater1 myself4 ,poor ,mrs4 ,gray sighed1 and quite gave up trying to understand ,winifred's strange position4 ,she hoped she would be able to give some suitable reason for withdrawing1 and not set the whole church talking about her peculiar views4 ,she remembered hopefully that her daughter had suffered from laryngitis not long ago1 and she mentally nursed the almost vanished trouble into proportions that would forbid her singing much4 ,she was sure ,dr4 ,lansing would give an opinion to that effect now4 ,but1 dear me6 as for herself1 she did not know how she should ever sit in that church and hear anyone else sing in ,winifred's place6 ,it was to be feared that there were many others who would find it difficult to sit in that church if their own natural wishes and tastes were not gratified there4 ,what it was to be gathered in ,my name1 as the ,lord ,jesus had said1--into the name of ,him whose flesh with its longing and loves had been carried pitilessly to the cross1 that from its death there might spring forth for all ,his own life in the ,spirit unto ,god--what this was1 few at ,new ,laodicea knew2 nor what it was1 so gathered1 to behold ,him in the midst4 ,oh1 lonely heart without the door of ,his own house6 ,he knocks patiently1 not in the hope that the whole household will hear ,him1 but for any man who has ears to hear and will open to ,him4 ,winifred had another task before her that day1 and she did it promptly4 ,she did not know how really in her ready obedience she was walking in the steps of the father of all them that believe1 who1 when ,isaac was to be offered1 rose early in the morning to go about the sacrifice4 ,she went straight to ,mr4 ,mercer1 the leader of the choir1 and told him of her withdrawal4 ,she told her story with simplicity and dignity1 and it commanded his respect4 ,i honor your convictions1 ,miss ,gray1 he said4 ,we shall find it hard to fill your place1 and ,i am very sorry you are going4 ,but ,i would not for a moment urge you to remain4 ,as ,i say1 ,i honor your convictions4 ,i only wish ,i had the courage of them myself4 ,his face grew heavy4 ,he knew well the deity that led him to that place1 and the anxious care that governed each ,sunday's work4 ,to bring his choir to the perfect standard of musical merit which his artist soul craved was his ambition4 ,he knew pleasure as he approximated to that goal1 and vexation almost to despair when he fell far short4 ,he knew it was not before ,god but at another shrine he poured out his soul's libation4 ,i know ,i am not a worshiper1 he said4 ,i have never professed to be a ,christian--oh1 ,i am not a ,mohammedan or a ,hindu6--but ,i do not profess to be a follower of the ,lord ,jesus ,christ4 ,i should not like1 he said reflectively1 to add to a life indifferent to my ,creator the insult of a mock worship4 ,he bent his brows heavily to consider if such a course were really his4 ,i would leave the whole thing to-day1 he said vehemently1 as you are doing1 ,miss ,gray1 if ,i could4 ,i would follow other lines in my profession1 but ,i am in this now and it is my living4 ,it means bread and butter to those dependent on me4 ,he paused1 and ,winifred said nothing but looked at him with strong sympathy4 ,he went on3 ,it will not excuse me1 ,i suppose1 but whose is the greater sin8 ,is it mine1 or theirs who hired me8 ,i thought of it professionally4 ,if one honest man had met me with the question1 ',can you lead that part of our worship to ,god in spirit and in truth8' ,i should have known that ,i could not1 and said so4 ,then ,i should have turned my attention to secular paths where secular men belong4 ,but there's the rub6 ,not one of them thought of it1 ,i suppose4 ,what a farce it is6 ,the minister yesterday talked of incense rising to ,god4 ,it doesn't get beyond their nostrils1 ,i think4 ,you know that man--what's his name8--he's a stock broker1 who sits down the right aisle8 ,well1 you know there was a talk once of dismissing the quartette1 and retaining only the chorus 7under my direction7 to reduce expenses4 ,that man declared if the quartette were dismissed he would leave the church4 ,he is not a member anyway1 ,i think1 but he pays6 ,there is worship for you6 ,i tell you1 the people glut their own souls with good music1 and go home thinking they have worshiped ,god4 ,oh1 ,i wish there were reality in the world6 ,mr4 ,mercer threw his head back and ran his fingers nervously through his wavy locks4 ,his eyes were burning and there was a bright red spot on either cheek4 ,winifred spoke out impulsively3 ,oh1 ,mr4 ,mercer1 there is reality6 ,i know there is somewhere1 and ,i--,i am just beginning--but ,i mean to be a true worshiper1 myself4 ,he looked at her1 and the gleam in his dark eyes softened4 ,forgive me1 he said1 ,i spoke too strongly4 ,yes1 ,i believe there is reality--a little--somewhere1 and he smiled4 ,something in her soft brown eyes as he looked in them carried him many years back1 when eyes something like them looked down on him1 while a voice sang sacred words which he knew the heart loved well4 ,yes1 there was reality somewhere4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,adele ,winifred awoke ,tuesday morning with melody in her heart4 ,she moved about her room with the exhilaration of a fresh joy in living4 ,she took her ,bible1 which still wore the genteel1 unsullied dress of a stranger1 and turned to the place she wished to read4 ,she had not got beyond the text of ,sunday3 ,the hour cometh1 and now is1 when the true worshiper shall worship the ,father in spirit and in truth4 ,she pondered the text4 ,shall worship the ,father1 she mused4 ,oh1 how sweet6 ,that august ,one whom ,i feared is 'the ,father4' ,he loves me6 ,she went with her book to the open window and stood1 a fair priestess in her white morning dress1 and looked out over a portion of her ,father's wide domain4 ,oh1 how warm and bright the sunlight that lit all things with glory6 ,how fair were the distant hills beyond the city1 with their varied dress of wood and meadow6 ,in the garden below1 how each group of flowers and the green sward answered with joy to the caress of the sun4 ,how exultantly the lilies stood1 and she could catch the incense from the bed of tiny clustering flowers nearest her window4 ,she lifted her face toward the sky of melting summer blue1 and sang softly3 ,holy1 holy1 holy2 ,lord ,god ,almighty6 ,all ,thy works shall praise ,thy name1 in earth and sky and sea2 ,holy1 holy1 holy1 merciful and mighty2 ,god in three persons1 blessed ,trinity6 ,she looked again at the words whose entrance had given light1 and read farther3 ,for the ,father seeketh such to worship ,him4 ,he has been seeking me6 she cried1 and some glimmering apprehension of the great love of the ,father which seeks the fellowship of sincere and simple children1 made her bosom heave and her eyes fill with tears1 ,he loves me1 she repeated as before1 and her heart nestled itself in the great truth like a bird that has found its nest4 ,presently she looked again from her window and saw ,hubert walking in the garden4 ,dear ,hubert6 she said to herself4 ,i wish he knew4 ,with an impulse she laid her book hastily down and ran down the stairs and into the garden4 ,she flew noiselessly across the soft grass and surprised ,hubert from behind1 clasping his arm with a cheerful ,good morning6 ,he looked down on her glowing face and kissed it4 ,how bright you look1 he said4 ,were you up with the birds8 ,i heard you singing your matins with them4 ,did you hear me8 said ,winifred1 with a blush at being overheard4 ,yes4 ,what makes you so happy1 ,winnie8 ,oh1 ,hubert1 she cried1 and she clasped his arm more tightly1 ,my heart is almost breaking with joy6 ,i think ,i have begun--to know ,god6 ,he looked at her with a surprised hunger in his dark eyes4 ,and do you find the knowledge such a joy8 he asked1 with deep sadness in his own voice4 ,oh1 yes1 ,hubert1 she said4 ,he is so good6 ,later in the day a small breeze swept in the front door of the ,gray ,mansion1 past the maid1 up the stairway1 and to the door of ,winifred's little sitting-room4 ,it came with the person of ,miss ,adele ,forrester4 ,hello1 said a bright voice4 ,anybody here8 ,winifred rose from her quaint little window-seat with an expression of pleasure4 ,oh1 ,adele6 ,i am so glad to see you4 ,the two young ladies kissed each other and sat down to talk with the easy familiarity of old friends4 ,dear6 cried exclamatory ,miss ,forrester4 ,i am out of breath6--,i have raced so6 ,i left home an hour ago1 but was beguiled by some fascinating bargains in ,butterworth's windows4 ,do see that love of a thing for ninety-eight cents4 ,did you ever see such a bargain8 ,i wouldn't let them send it for ,i wanted you to see it4 ,the fascinating trifle was admired1 and then ,miss ,forrester flew at the chief matter of her visit enthusiastically4 ,do you know what is in the wind1 ,winifred8 ,professor ,black1 who leads the choir in the ,linden ,street church1 is going to get up a comic opera with a cast from the various choirs1 and ,i am invited4 ,we are to go to ,northville and give it in the little one-horse theater there4 ,won't it be gay8 ,we shall astonish the natives of that small town6 ,have you had your invitation8 ,winifred shook her head4 ,how calm you are4 ,i am very much excited about it already4 ,you know ,i like that sort of thing4 ,it isn't decided what we shall give1 but probably ,pinafore1 or ,patience1 or some old thing4 ,they won't care at ,northville4 ,do say what you think of it1 ,winifred8 ,don't be so unecstatic4 ,winifred smiled1 not very merrily4 ,i can't get ecstatic1 she said4 ,i shall not be in it4 ,you will not be in it6 ,adele cried4 ,oh1 why not8--coaxingly4 ,doesn't your father approve of it8--or your mother8--of going off like that1 ,i mean8 ,it will be perfectly proper4 ,we shall be chaperoned4 ,oh1 that's not it1 said ,winifred4 ,i have left the choir4 ,adele opened her bright eyes wide in astonishment4 ,left the choir6 she exclaimed under her breath1 and then leaned back in her chair with a gesture of comical despair of expressing herself4 ,winifred could not help laughing at her friend's dismay4 ,she said nothing and ,adele soon recovered herself4 ,a little tiff with the leader or somebody8 she queried4 ,such things are not unknown to us4 ,i am prepared to take your part1 ,winnie1 right or wrong4 ,but you don't mean you've left for good8 ,oh1 come and sing with us at ,st4 ,john's--that would be lovely6 ,winifred girded herself mentally for her task4 ,she and lively ,miss ,forrester had never discussed spiritual things together4 ,they spoke freely of their choirs and of church1 but that never seemed dissonant with the most frivolous social things4 ,now as ,winifred thought of the real ,holy ,place and the worship there in spirit and in truth1 it seemed difficult to speak of it4 ,she began bravely1 and began at the beginning1 with ,mr4 ,bond's sermon4 ,she rehearsed many of the things that he said1 and told frankly of her own conviction of the truth and how it troubled her4 ,adele listened gravely and with a sympathetic moisture in her eyes as ,winifred told1 with little hitches in her voice and evident effort at self-control1 of her determination to leave the theater of her unreal worship1 and then of the way she had found into the real presence of ,god and of ,his forgiveness4 ,she paused here1 and ,adele put her arms impulsively about her and kissed her4 ,winnie1 she said1 you know ,i always loved you4 ,i love you better than ever now4 ,then they both cried1 though they could not have explained to each other why4 ,adele was the first to recover herself4 ,i am such a goose1 she said4 ,i always cry4 ,but now1 ,winnie1 she added1 are you not going to keep on singing1 only 'in spirit and in truth1' as you say8 ,i hope ,i shall keep on singing1 said ,winifred1 slowly1 but ,i dare not trust myself1 just now anyhow1 to go on with the choir4 ,i am so used to singing for applause--and she blushed at the remembrance of such a motive in the house of the ,lord--or for music's sake1 ,i am afraid ,i should find myself doing so still4 ,i mean to worship ,god truly1 and a look of determination settled the sensitive face into resolute lines2 and ,i shall try to do that which will help me most to that end4 ,it seems to me now that that will be to join the others unobserved4 ,perhaps ,i shall see it differently some day1 but now ,i feel it safer to put my poor1 vain1 little self as far out of sight as possible and try to think of ,god4 ,you are a dear1 honest little thing6 cried ,adele affectionately4 ,then she added very seriously1 but it almost seems to me that if your objections are right they might apply to the whole system4 ,winifred looked perplexed4 ,she had dimly thought of that4 ,the word system recalled ,mr4 ,bond's phrase1 an organized system of unreality1 which she had turned over in her mind a number of times4 ,would he call the choir that8 ,she thought of the leader1 who professed nothing as a ,christian2 of the organist1 who1 she must admit1 was a drunkard2 of ,george ,frothingham with his careless indifference2 and of herself of two days ago4 ,perhaps there were others--very likely there were--who sang with grace in their hearts unto the ,lord1 but it certainly looked as though that were no object in their selection4 ,but she thought of ,doctor ,schoolman1 who raised no objections and always sat with such an expression of bland repose while they sang4 ,she thought of the elders--her own father among them--and1 indeed1 of common consent everywhere in all the churches2 at least1 all she knew4 ,who was she1 who was only just beginning to worship1 that she should entertain ideas contrary to them all8 ,i don't know1 she said hesitatingly to ,adele1 ,i hope you will not think my ideas revolutionary4 ,i can't judge for others--others so much wiser than ,i4 ,but1 for myself1 ,i think ,i see the way ,i ought to take4 ,and so she settled the matter for herself1 on her own convictions4 ,perhaps you are right1 ,adele said4 ,she could not speak further of the opera which seemed awkwardly out of place in the light of what ,winifred had said4 ,after a pause she said3 ,i'm afraid we are all hypocrites more or less1 but it is a wonder we had not thought of it before4 ,but1 do you know1 ,i've sometimes thought it rather queer that ,mr4 ,francis should sing in our choir8 ,he is a confessed infidel4 ,i do not believe our rector knows it4 ,i do not think he would allow it4 ,mr4 ,francis just drifted into the choir when we needed a basso very much4 ,but1 when you think of it1 isn't it blasphemy to take the name of the ,lord1 whom he professes not to believe in1 so solemnly upon his lips in church8 ,winifred consented that so it seemed to her4 ,then a sudden recollection amused ,miss ,forrester4 ,speaking of worshipers1 she said1 now there is my precious ,cousin ,dick4 ,how do you think he occupied himself in the midst of ,morning ,prayer a couple of ,sundays ago8 ,the rogue6 ,i certainly was keeping the run of the service1 but it was edifying to see his head bowed so devoutly until he passed a slip of paper over to me4 ,what do you think was on it8 ,not a suddenly inspired hymn1 but some doggerel lines about ',a certain young woman ,who sang high soprano4' ,i looked daggers at him1 but of course he saw ,i wanted to laugh4 ,then he looked such a picture of rapt piety6 ,oh1 he is a case6 ,and ,adele gave way to the laughter she had smothered in church4 ,winifred smiled1 too1 as she thought of the irrepressibly merry youth4 ,but her pleasure was not as unmixed as it would have been three days before4 ,henceforth1 any jest to be quite enjoyed must be free from taint of irreverence toward holy things4 ,she had begun to know ,god1 and the knowledge gave a sensitiveness to the honor of ,his name and the things of ,his house4 ,adele recovered from her mirth and resumed the subject seriously4 ,i am afraid we are sorry worshipers1 when you come to look at it1 she said4 ,if our office is really such a sacred one--and ,i see it must be1 if we take it seriously--why1 then1 we ought to be pretty good people2 earnest1 and reverent1 and all that1 ,i mean4 ,but it doesn't seem to be our distinguishing trait1 and she smiled4 ,not mine1 at least4 ,i ought not to generalize too much4 ,i am sure there are persons in our choirs who live beautiful1 devoted lives2 but the lot ,i fraternize with mostly are not likely to go to the stake just yet for their piety4 ,what awfully jolly dances the ,emmanuel church choir gave last winter6 ,i was invited two or three times and went4 ,but you know it has struck me once or twice as a little odd that we church singers1 as such1 should go into that sort of thing4 ,if some of us should stray into it individually it's nothing remarkable1 ,i suppose4 ,but isn't it a bit queer that1 as a company1 we should lead off in those things8 ,i suppose1 with a twinkle of malicious enjoyment in her eyes1 our ,emmanuel church neighbors could not find vent for their joy in the ,lord in ,hosannas on ,sunday1 and had to work it off at their heels on week days4 ,adele enjoyed her own satire1 but ,winifred was too repentant to laugh4 ,oh1 ,adele1 she said1 it is dreadful that there has been no 'joy in the ,lord' about it4 ,at least1 ,i never knew it in the choir4 ,christ was never the center of our thoughts 7she was thinking of ,mr4 ,bond's sermon71 the object of devotion4 ,if we worshiped anybody or anything outside of ourselves it was ,music4 ,orpheus8 suggested ,adele4 ,yes1 said ,winifred1 we were pagans1 ,i suppose4 ,but oh1 ,adele1 ,god is so good to forgive6 ,it seems as though ,he were not looking at it at all--as if it had never been4 ,adele looked at her friend narrowly4 ,winnie1 she said at length1 solemnly1 ,i know what has happened4 ,you are converted4 ,winifred opened her eyes in surprise4 ,she had not thought to so define her new experience4 ,adele went on3 ,we don't talk much about it in our church1 you know4 ,but ,i used to go sometimes with old ,auntie ,bloom--she was so blind she couldn't see the sidewalk--to a little ,methodist church of some sort1 ,free1 or ,reformed1 or something1 and they made a great deal of that4 ,auntie ,bloom used to get rather excited over it herself sometimes when she 'testified4' ,i used to duck my head when she waved her arms about4 ',a new creature6' she used to shout4 ',there's nothing like being a new creature6' ,and ,adele quoted the old lady with good-natured mimicry4 ,winifred's face glowed4 ,no1 she said1 there's nothing like it6--if that is what has happened to me4 ,adele looked at the happy face covetously4 ,you look as though it were good1 ,winnie1 she said1 and added meditatively3 ,i think it is all true about it4 ,but you know1 ,winnie1 when ,i was confirmed ,i really meant to be good4 ,it was so solemn1 and ,i thought ,i never should forget that dear old bishop's hand on my head4 ,but ,i haven't turned out much of a saint1 you know1 dear4 ,i never thought you were wicked1 ,adele1 said ,winifred4 ,well1 ,i never robbed a bank1 said ,adele1 but there's no question about my being 'this worldly' enough4 ,winifred did not know just how to answer this4 ,it seemed a charge that would cover both their previous lives4 ,in a moment's silence a sweet-toned clock on the mantel softly struck a half hour4 ,oh1 ,i must be gone6 cried ,miss ,forrester1 and we haven't talked about half-- ,do stay to lunch1 interrupted ,winifred4 ,impossible1 dear4 ,i am due at home--half an hour ago6 and she laughed at the discrepancy between her appointment and appearance4 ,good-by1 ,winnie4 ,and she was off4 ,the two1 very opposite in temperament1 were very warm friends4 ,winifred saw beneath a light exterior a quantity of good1 sound sense and a warm heart4 ,she was a frequent guest at their house4 ,mrs4 ,gray liked her1 though deploring her occasional indulgence in slang4 ,mr4 ,gray enjoyed her racy conversation1 and ,hubert professed a dislike of her volatile qualities4 ,this last fact grieved ,winifred1 who liked her friend to be appreciated4 ,she has a rather frivolous exterior1 she once explained to ,hubert1 but she is really very sensible4 ,one would like to hear from the sensible interior occasionally1 he replied1 and ,winifred withdrew from the defense4 ,she was the more grieved by his indifference to her friend because1 with her quick intuition1 she had half guessed at a secret liking in ,adele for her cynical brother4 ,to-day at luncheon ,winifred ventured to offer him the information3 ,adele ,forrester was in to see me this morning4 ,i heard her giggle1 he replied laconically1 and ,winifred subsided into silence4 ,,chapter ,v ,,is ,,god ,,demonstrable8 ,the scene of the morning in the garden haunted ,hubert during the hours of business that day4 ,matters were attended to with his accustomed skill1 but always an undercurrent of memory presented to him ,winifred's beaming face and her announcement1 ,i think ,i have begun to know ,god4 ,i wish ,i knew ,him4 ,i wish ,i knew the truth1 he repeated to himself again and again4 ,hubert had entered with heartiness into his father's business1 and though still young had already attained a partnership in it4 ,robert ,gray ,son1 read the clear1 uncompromising sign1 and the name of no firm in the city was more respected4 ,hubert's devotion to business1 rather than to more scholarly pursuits1 was a deep gratification to the father1 who enjoyed his son's fellowship and found help in his fresh enterprise and keen foresight4 ,to-day ,hubert was glad when the last matters were attended to and he was able to go home4 ,at dinner he was abstracted and silent1 and retired to his own apartments4 ,just off his sleeping room was a smaller one which constituted his laboratory1 for ,hubert was a man of science in his leisure hours4 ,this room was the one discomfort of poor ,mrs4 ,gray1 who feared explosions or electric shocks1 and sighed many a time as she heard the door close after the entering form of her son4 ,to-night it closed firmly1 and had not opened again before slumber muffled the ears of the apprehensive mother1 nor had the light from the single gas burner ceased to throw out its yellow challenge to the mellow1 midnight moonlight without4 ,could ,mrs4 ,gray have looked within1 she would have seen ,hubert sunk in the depths of a leather covered chair1 with his dark1 frowning face leaning upon his hand4 ,he was thinking4 ,something like this was the matter of his thoughts3 ,in this little room questions had been asked and answered4 ,from the standpoint of the known1 or even from the conjectured1 excursions into the unknown had been undertaken1 and the explorer returned with trophies of ascertained fact4 ,how had it come to pass8 ,obedience to the laws of force revealed had brought its recompense of further revelation4 ,how humbly1 with what child-likeness1 he had followed those subtle laws propounded to him by others2 laws whose deep mystery he could in no wise understand1 but which he believed1 and1 believing1 demonstrated4 ,were there such principles to be observed in the spiritual realm8 ,were there laws of the unseen kingdom1 which1 if obeyed1 brought demonstration8 ,he gave a little gesture of impatience as he thought of the unthinking assertion of some that they would believe nought they could not understand6 ,stupid6 he muttered1 and remembered an effort of his own1 when a school-boy1 to illuminate the mind of the gardener with a few scientific facts1 only to be met with a loud guffaw of unbelief4 ,surely science had never yielded her treasures to sneering unbelief1 but to humble1 patient faith4 ,must he so find out ,god8 ,again he pondered3 ,could ,god1 if there were a ,god1 be expected to be less mysterious1 less wonderful1 less unsearchable than the subtle forces found in nature1 and actually utilized1 but never understood8 ,what is electricity8 he asked himself4 ,i do not know1 but ,i can use it4 ,i know it is4 ,so may not ,god be1 invisible1 uncomprehended1 but real1 and demonstrable to the man who applies himself to know ,him8 ,hubert was very near a determination to thus apply himself4 ,but should ,god be sought for as a force or as a personality8 ,the old argument1 hackneyed but true1 spoke to him3 ,the presence of design argues a designer4 ,no blind force ever clasped the petals of a lily together1 to say nothing of the arrangement of a universe4 ,had ,hubert known it1 there was a passage of ,inspiration which read3 ,the invisible things of him from the creation or the world are clearly seen1 being understood by the things that are made1 even his everlasting power and ,godhead4 ,now how to address himself to ,god--how to conduct this new experiment--was the question4 ,he remembered the conditions of discipleship to science1 and determined that he would follow them4 ,first1 there was child-likeness4 ,a fragment of ,scripture1 words of ,jesus ,christ1 came to him3 ,except ye 4 4 4 become as little children ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven4 ,how simple the principle4 ,no pride of supposed knowledge1 no dogmatism of unbelief might be brought to the door of this mysterious kingdom by the man who would enter in4 ,then1 he must follow the things revealed if he would know more4 ,what did he know about ,god8 ,or what must be true of ,him1 granted that ,he is8 ,if ,he is1 thought ,hubert1 and is my ,creator1 then ,he must know me altogether4 ,thou ,god seest me4 ,it was a text--he did not know its connection--learned years before in ,sunday-school1 before his independence of spirit had withdrawn his neck from an unloved yoke4 ,now it spoke to him clearly4 ,surely ,god 7if ,he were7 must see him1 and surely ,he must hear him4 ,he did not consciously remember the words1 he that planted the ear1 shall he not hear8 ,he that formed the eye1 shall ,he not see8 ,but thoughts of like nature passed through his mind4 ,a creator who could bestow such marvelous faculties must ,himself possess them in infinite measure4 ,and a ,god who had given to ,his creatures such powers of communication1 must surely have means to make ,himself understood4 ,if ,he is1 said ,hubert1 then ,he is great6 ,he is infinite4 ,i cannot measure ,his power in any line4 ,surely ,he can reveal ,himself to me if ,he will4 ,is ,he willing8 ,in the contemplation of ,god the man grew less and less in his own esteem4 ,would ,god reveal ,himself to such an atom in the wide universe as he8 ,did ,he care for him or about him8 ,god is ,love1 whispered memory1 from the ,book1 and the suggestion beat upon the unarmored heart of the seeker1 and was not unwelcome4 ,i will put it to the test1 he said to himself4 ,i will ask ,him4 ,he rose from his chair and thought to fall upon his knees1 but was resisted4 ,an unlooked for struggle arose within him4 ,he had said to ,frothingham that he was not proud of his scepticism1 but now his independent thought arose before him1 an image not willing to be crucified4 ,he saw the sneers of his fellow unbelievers1 should he join the ranks of the religious4 ,suppose ,god should reveal ,himself8 ,would he not be bound to serve ,him8 ,a vision of the ,man who called ,himself the ,son of ,god arose dim and wraith-like1 sorrowful1 homeless1 poor--crucified6 ,if ,god revealed ,himself1 perhaps he must follow that ,man6 ,was it worth it8 ,was it not better to go on as he was1 rich1 independent1 self-governed8 ,if he asked for light1 was he ready to follow the light8 ,his hands clenched themselves in the struggle4 ,the vision of self-abnegation was so real that it sickened him4 ,home1 possessions1 friendships1 and his own life also1 seemed demanded by the vision of that ,man4 ,but to turn back from the light that might be gained was to fall into a darkness more damnable and more desolate than before4 ,buy the truth and sell it not1 urged a voice1 and some glimmer of encouragement seemed in his imagination to smile from the face of the ,man of ,sorrows4 ,in his decision the sweat broke from his brow and the veins stood in cords of agony4 ,he fell upon his knees1 and said aloud3 ,o ,god1 if ,thou art1 reveal ,thyself to me1 and ,i will serve ,thee4 ,the solitary gas jet still flickered in the room1 the moonlight shone without1 the silent household slept4 ,no voice answered the young man's prayer1 nor sensible ,presence wrapped him about2 but a crisis was marked in one life that night and the result was to be light and peace4 ,hubert had not imagined what sort of a response should be made to his request1 and it was well he had not4 ,but he felt a sense of relief at a decision gained after he had uttered his prayer to ,god1 and soon retired to his bed4 ,it was not to enjoy much sleep1 however1 for still the vision of the ,man of ,calvary haunted him1 and with it a sense that it was in ,his footsteps he must tread1 if the truth should really be revealed to him4 ,in the slow hours of the night he counted the cost of the tower he should build1 and wondered if he would be able to finish it4 ,to him it was granted at the outset of the way to know something of the rugged terms of true discipleship4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,the next morning dawned murky and cool4 ,a thin1 struggling rain beat against the windows of ,hubert's room when he woke4 ,things look different by the cold light of day1 especially if the day be rainy1 from the same things seen by gaslight4 ,with ,hubert's instant memory of the night before1 came the temptation to dismiss its happenings as a dream and go back to his former way of living4 ,but he could not do so in honesty4 ,he had made a pledge to a supposed ,being1 whom he must now treat as a reality until the most honest experiment proved ,him not to he1 or to be inaccessible4 ,clearly a line of procedure formed itself in his mind4 ,he must seek to know those laws1 or principles1 that governed the new realm which he sought to enter1 and endeavor to adjust himself to them4 ,so he took from its place on the shelves the ,book that was most likely of all to give the suggestions he needed1 because it dealt specifically with the matter in hand4 ,of all those who bore witness in the ,book the most remarkable one was ,jesus ,christ4 ,so he turned to the ,new ,testament1 and to the ,gospels4 ,he was none too familiar with their teachings1 but he believed that of them all the ,gospel of ,john contained the fullest statement of abstract principles4 ,he would read it4 ,it was still early1 and he settled himself for an hour's study4 ,it occurred to him to invoke afresh that ,one whom he was seeking for light upon ,his own law4 ,an impulse of pride almost deterred him1 but he thought1 ,if ,he is1 and ,i am ,his creature1 ,i can afford to be humble4 ,indeed1 it is the only fitting thing4 ,so he bowed his head and said3 ,o ,god1 ,i am seeking ,thee4 ,help me to understand the truth4 ,he found the ,gospel of ,john1 and began at the beginning4 ,he read the sublime statements concerning the ,word1 and wondered if they were true4 ,if true1 it was the most wonderful fact in the world4 ,if untrue--oh1 what darkness lay in the shadow of so great light's negation6 ,he read the twelfth verse1 and the thirteenth1 and pondered them in the light of the foregoing statement4 ,if they were true1 then ,he who was with ,god1 who was ,god--he paused to consider the mysterious relationship2 mysterious1 yet not thereby incredible2 he would not repeat the folly of the gardener by too ready unbelief6 ,if true1 then ,god1 that eternal ,word1 came down to man1 and as many as received ,him1 to them it was granted to become the sons of ,god6 ,they were translated into the realm whence ,he came forth4 ,the stupendous fact--if fact8--glowed like a sun-lit prism and awoke an ardent longing that it might be so4 ,ah1 to escape the limits of this petty life6 ,how mean and small it seemed4 ,man at his best1 his grandest1 but to live out a brief day1 and then go out into the uncertain darkness forever6 ,if ,god had ordained a way into ,his own infinite realm1 surely it was worth the finding4 ,but what was it to receive ,him8 ,in what sense did they in the days of ,his fleshly life receive ,him8 ,was it in a more physical1 tangible way than would he possible to man now8 ,evidently not2 for of those among whom ,he moved in bodily presence1 the majority received ,him not4 ,certainly ,his mission to the earth was not for that generation only1 but for all men4 ,perhaps the receiving was explained by the companion statement1 even to them that believe on ,his name4 ,but to believe was not less difficult to ,hubert than to receive4 ,he had boasted his inability to believe that which was unsupported by evidence1 and had found bitter fault with evangelical doctrine1 which1 he supposed1 put a high premium upon blind credulity1--an attitude of mind1 he contended1 which would render a man as open to receive the teachings of ,buddha1 or ,mahomet if he happened to hear them1 as those of ,jesus ,christ4 ,he might have added1 or the teachings of a ,payne1 or an ,ingersoll1 or1 as a remoter example1 of the serpent in ,eden who beguiled a credulous woman4 ,hubert's search had become so earnest that he did not now pause to nurse his rancor against the defenseless word believe1 and it even flashed into his thought that1 should he study diligently its use1 he might discover in it a further or different meaning than he had credited it with4 ,at this point he wished for a ,greek ,testament1 but there was none in the house4 ,later in the day1 however1 he surprised a book dealer by the purchase of one1 and prepared himself for further studies in the believes of ,john's ,gospel4 ,for the present he contented himself with reading on1 striving to note all the story and its argument1 passing over much1 undoubtedly1 that would have spoken volumes had he had ears to hear1 but still finding much that spoke pointedly and clearly to him4 ,he pondered the testimony of ,john the ,baptist to the ,lamb of ,god1 which taketh away the sin of the world1 and did not understand it4 ,but a feeling almost of jealous envy stole into his heart toward the two disciples of the ,baptist1 who1 hearing the witness1 followed ,jesus4 ,his hungry soul echoed their ,where dwellest ,thou8 in the mystical sense in which he instinctively read it1 and he felt it would be joy indeed to hear that ,one say1 ,come and see4 ,would he not come1 indeed1 if he were bidden6 ,hubert read until the breakfast bell sounded1 and then went down to pursue his study in ,winifred's bright face1 and wonder how much she really knew of the matter he was trying to search out4 ,winnie1 he said to her after breakfast1 do you still think you have begun to know ,god8 ,yes1 she said placidly1 ,i am sure of it4 ,how do you know8 said he4 ,how does ,he manifest ,himself8 ,i don't know1 she answered4 ,i can't explain it1 but ,he seems very real4 ,how did you find ,him8 ,what did you do8 he questioned further4 ,oh1 ,i just came to ,him1 she answered4 ,and1 as she reflected of that night's compact1 ,i gave myself up to ,him4 ,so that was the way ,winifred found ,him4 ,was that the way to believe8 ,but ,winifred had none of his doubts about ,god4 ,she believed that ,he was1 and the mental assent led to the heart surrender4 ,but if he should do her act of faith--8 ,if a man with doubts should give himself up would he be received8 ,with such reflections ,hubert went out into his day's work4 ,again he accomplished the day's business with faithfulness to all details1 but with the consciousness every hour of a perplexity unsolved--a burden unlifted4 ,again he was glad when the office door closed behind him and he turned his face homeward1 striding beneath his umbrella through the now settled rain1 with the ,greek ,testament grasped in his hand4 ,an attractive wood fire burned in the drawing-room grate that evening1 but ,hubert resisted its invitation and retired to his scientific den1 as ,winifred called it1 to pursue his new studies4 ,he set himself to read again in the ,greek that which he had read in ,english4 ,he was struck by the fact that the word translated believe was also rendered commit in a passage in the second chapter4 ,that seemed somewhat more practical to his apprehension4 ,he lingered long on the interview with ,nicodemus1 and as the rain beat upon the roof and window pane he listened to the words uttered on a ,judean night1 so long ago1 to a man who like himself sought the truth4 ,in the first chapter of the ,gospel1 in its introduction1 he had caught a glimpse of infinite stretches and light unapproachable1 and it seemed no marvel that a man1 if he would enter that kingdom1 must be born into it6 ,marvel1 indeed1 it might be1 that such a birth were possible1 but not that it was needful4 ,for how could he transgress the boundaries of the human sphere into which he had been born1 and lift himself into the higher8 ,it was impossible4 ,no1 that life must somehow come forth to him4 ,he must be born from above4 ,as he read on into the book1 still bearing in mind the character ascribed to ,jesus ,christ in its beginning1 he could not wonder that ,he spoke with such authority4 ,not ,thus saith the ,lord1 but ,verily1 verily1 ,i say unto you1 the new ,prophet declared4 ,what wonder1 if ,he were such a ,being as described1 that ,he should offer living water to the ,samaritan woman1 since in ,him was life1 nor that the work of ,god for obtaining eternal life should be narrowed down to a belief in--a committal unto--,himself8 ,as he considered these things1 the emphasis shifted from believe to the ,person in whom to believe2 and it seemed to him that the teaching must be not so much that faith was in itself a way of salvation1 as that it was a simple necessity to the taking of the ,way--the ,one sent forth from ,god2 in short1 that its own value was purely relative to the ,one believed in4 ,this seemed to settle a very important question1 and drew the sceptic's attention away from his own capabilities of belief to the claims of the proposed object of his faith4 ,he read ,his words with an interest that was painfully intense1 and almost groaned his prayerful longing to know if they were true4 ,after all1 thought he1 be a man credulous or doubting1 absolute knowledge waits upon revelation--upon demonstration4 ,o ,god1 he cried finally1 if ,thou art1 and if ,jesus ,christ is1 and is such an ,one as described here1 give me evidence6 ,let me know ,him and ,thee4 ,he lifted his book again1 and this time he read3 ,if any man is willing to do his will1 he shall know of the teaching1 whether it be of ,god1 or whether ,i speak from myself4 ,if a voice had spoken aloud the words it would not have conveyed the message more directly to his heart4 ,he paused1 as before a pivotal moment of destiny4 ',willing to do ,his will6' ,his face whitened4 ,the agony of the night before was upon him4 ,the way of the cross--the picture of the ,man who like no other had done the will of ,god1 rose before him and demanded all things4 ,as drowning men are said to have pass in review the events of a lifetime before them1 so in a moment's time the strategic elements of his life appeared before him1 and the finger of ,god pressed the most sensitive points in his nature4 ,he pointed to the counting room of the keen business man1 and ,hubert saw himself poor for the ,kingdom of ,god's sake4 ,he pointed to the beautiful home and its inmates1 and he saw himself homeless1 having hated father and mother and sister--ah1 sharpest pang of all6--for the sake of discipleship to the sorrowful ,son of ,man4 ,an invisible attraction drew him after ,him1 and with ashen lips but with fixed heart ,hubert ,gray took up his cross4 ,i am willing to do ,thy will1 he said4 ,only let me know the teaching4 ,the immediate result of ,hubert's work of faith cannot be written4 ,it is incommunicable4 ,one may point to after effects in a life transformed1 but of that supernatural witness which comes to men's souls1 stamping the words of ,god as very truth indeed1 no description can be given4 ,as jealously guarded as the crown jewels in the ,tower of ,london is the secret of the ,lord which is revealed or hidden at ,his will4 ,to the foolish one who in his heart says1 ,there is no ,god1 no glorious revelation comes2 and often even the patent fact of ,his divine creatorship is not observed4 ,but1 given a hungry soul1 he shall be filled with good things4 ,and the ,spirit waits to charge with electric certainty the teaching of ,god's truth to the man who in meekness adjusts himself to it4 ,cold and colorless glows the transparent prism in the shadow4 ,but let the sun shine through it1 and lo6 it is alive with all the colors of glory and beauty4 ,so the sunlight shone in the laboratory of ,hubert ,gray that night and lit up with many rays of refracted glory the doctrine of ,jesus ,christ4 ,light focused itself upon the ,person1 and ,hubert saw1 as years of painful study would not have taught him without that light1 the mysterious merging of his own identity with ,his2 saw mistily1 what afterward he should discern more clearly1 his own worthless1 sinful life vanished in the dying of the ,one lifted up2 saw radiantly his own triumph and everlasting life together with the living ,christ4 ,to the secret abode where lives are hid with ,christ in ,god1 he came and saw4 ,the unspeakable gladness of the revelation turned the rugged cross into a crown of glory4 ,the fragrance of a flower stole from his bedroom into the laboratory4 ,he smiled as he recognized it4 ,i have not seen the flower1 he said1 but its undoubted witness is here4 ,i do not see ,thee1 ,jesus1 my ,lord and my ,god1 but ,i believe ,thee6--,thou art here4 ,and he worshiped ,him4 ,,chapter ,,vi ,,mr4 ,,frothingham ,,and ,,the ,,choir ,,rehearsal ,unsympathetic ,nature was still in tears when the next morning broke upon ,hubert's new-found joy4 ,but so ardent was it that no weather could dampen it4 ,his first waking thoughts were of the marvelous treasure he had found4 ,a new life stretched out before him4 ,he was a new man4 ,he had entered into a new world whose center of gravity was in heaven1 where ,christ is1 and an indescribable1 exultant gladness filled his soul4 ,he had received ,him1 the divine ,visitant from that other world1 and his own soul was quickened with the life ,he brought4 ,henceforth he claimed kinship with ,him and with the ,father4 ,a new motive power of living had entered into his being4 ,he was not conscious of prayer1 but it was in his heart1 making response to the revelation which had come to him1 ,lord1 what wilt ,thou have me to do8 ,the new realm must have its own laws of living1 very contrary to those of this world1 and he would know them4 ,first of all there was a simple1 straightforward task before him and he was eager to discharge it4 ,so after a hasty toilet he went down to the library where he rightly surmised he should find his father--also an early riser--and presented himself at the other side of the table before him4 ,eh6 ,good morning1 ,hubert1 said ,mr4 ,gray1 as he looked up from his reading4 ,good morning1 father1 said ,hubert4 ,and he added1 ,i have something to tell you4 ,really8 ,i hope there is no ill news8 ,mr4 ,gray's first thought was of business1 but a second glance at ,hubert's face showed there was no unpleasant message to communicate4 ,and there was a strange expression on his son's face4 ,he had never seen it before--not1 at least1 since ,hubert was a boy4 ,no1 not even then4 ,what was it8 ,hubert answered his father's questions of word and searching look4 ,no1 father1 he said1 it is far from ill news4 ,it is this3 ,i am no longer a sceptic4 ,i believe in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ4 ,eh8 ,what8 ,hubert6 ,the older man's face passed in lightning changes from stages of wonder to joy1 and he sprang from his chair4 ,he grasped his son's hand across the table4 ,hubert6 he repeated1 my dear boy6 ,his voice choked on the last word4 ,a certain strain of ,scottish blood forbade a warmer demonstration1 but the two men's hand-clasp was eloquent4 ,presently ,mr4 ,gray asked ,hubert to be seated and tell him all about it1 wondering much meanwhile at the change very often sighed for but seldom expected4 ,hubert told his story as directly as possible1 but minus many details of his heart struggle of which his reserved nature made it impossible to speak4 ,but1 bare of all embellishment1 the story gave great joy to his father4 ,his own example as a ,christian had not been a brilliant one4 ,his principles were just1 as men count equity1 and his life irreproachable by their standards4 ,but the business man seemed often to hold the ascendency over the disciple of ,jesus ,christ1 and ,hubert had sometimes wondered cynically wherein his father differed from himself except in his attendance upon outward religious forms4 ,but the spark of life1 dull and smoldering1 answered to the breath of ,hubert's good news of salvation1 and he was unfeignedly glad4 ,they started together for the dining-room when the bell rang1 but met ,winifred in the hall4 ,she had just come in from the garden1 clad in rain-coat and cap1 roses glowing in her cheeks from the keen1 damp air1 and a big bouquet of flame-colored flowers in her hands4 ,we shall have sunshine without the sun1 she cried to ,hubert4 ,these flowers have caught his color4 ,that is a parable1 he answered quickly4 ,expound it please1 she said4 ,mr4 ,gray went on into the dining-room1 and ,hubert explained to ,winifred her mystic text4 ,these flowers1 he said1 give indisputable evidence of the sun's existence1 even though we cannot see it4 ,they could not have their color without it4 ,there is a sweet soul in this house who caught the beams of the ,sun before ,i quite knew that ,he was1 and she testified of ,him1 reflecting ,his glory when ,i was in great darkness4 ,it helped me to suppose that ,he existed and to try to find out for myself4 ,winifred looked deeply in ,hubert's dark eyes and saw the hunger gone from them4 ,he smiled on her4 ,hubert1 she said1 have you found ,him8 ,yes1 he said4 ,her flowers fell to the floor4 ,she threw her arms about his neck with a sob of joy4 ,oh1 ,hubert1 ,i am so glad6 she cried4 ,i prayed-- and her voice broke4 ,breakfast waited in the dining-room1 but ,mr4 ,gray improved the time by trying to explain to his wife the great change that had come to their son4 ,she could not understand the phenomenon1 and the process that led to it was exceedingly misty1 but she was glad if ,hubert had come to see things differently1 and hoped he would join the church at once1 and the reproach of his sceptical views be wiped out forever4 ,she felt a little nervous and excited at the announcement1 and wondered just what acknowledgment of it she should make4 ,a pink flush had stolen into her fair face by the time ,hubert and ,winifred entered4 ,he walked straight across the room to where she was standing and took her soft1 white hand in both his4 ,has father told you my news1 mother8 he asked4 ,yes1 dear ,hubert1 she said1 and kissed him4 ,i am very glad4 ,it has been a grief-- and she hesitated4 ,she thought to say1 that you have not been with us1 but he finished the sentence for her4 ,that ,i have not been a ,christian8 ,i know it must have been4 ,forgive me for all the pain it has given you4 ,i have been wrong and blind4 ,the maid peered in1 and ,mrs4 ,gray was glad of the interruption and to propose that they sit down at once4 ,she was glad of breakfast1 too4 ,she saw no reason why the coffee should spoil1 even though the son and heir of the house had just now come into an inheritance exceeding the most fabulous fortunes of earth4 ,the blessing was asked less formally than usual1 and ,mr4 ,gray thanked the ,lord also for the ,bread of ,life which had visited them4 ,later in the course of conversation he remarked3 ,by the way1 you will all be interested to hear that ,mr4 ,bond1 who preached for us last ,sunday1 is to give a series of ,bible ,lectures in the ,y4,m4,c4,a4 ,hall1 beginning in about a fortnight4 ,mr4 ,selton is bringing it about4 ,it was through him that we had the privilege of hearing ,mr4 ,bond last ,sunday4 ,then it was not upon ,doctor ,schoolman's invitation8 queried ,hubert4 ,oh1 he invited him1 of course1 but it was at ,mr4 ,selton's wish4 ,he is very influential1 you know4 ,he heard ,mr4 ,bond when he was in ,new ,york last winter and was much interested in his teaching4 ,so he suggested having him here for a ,sunday1 and himself undertook the expense4 ,fortunately for this instance ,mr4 ,selton possessed the two qualifications1 so often united in church life1 of influence and wealth4 ,later1 went on ,mr4 ,gray1 he spoke with several men1 including myself1 about the advisability of the ,bible ,lectures1 having secured ,mr4 ,bond's consent before he left on ,monday4 ,we saw no objection4 ,i think1 myself1 that we need a little stirring up now and then4 ,and the lectures are to be in the ,y4,m4,c4,a4 ,hall8 asked ,hubert1 with interest4 ,yes1 that is a central point1 and we wish to make them union meetings4 ,i am very glad to hear about it1 said ,hubert4 ,the rainy day passed1 its somberness meanwhile lightened by a greater glow than that of ,winifred's flame-colored flowers1 and ,friday came1 radiant with sunshine4 ,it was passed without special incident until evening1 which was the time of the weekly choir rehearsal4 ,then ,mr4 ,george ,frothingham called1 as had become his wont1 to escort ,winifred to the church4 ,that had once been ,hubert's task1 and bitterly he had resented it when gradually the change came about4 ,now he need have no fear1 for his sister was not going4 ,she had not seen ,frothingham since ,sunday1 and during the day had looked forward with a little unpleasant dread to the interview that must be4 ,she imagined various ways in which she should break to him the news that she had left the choir1 but none seemed satisfactory4 ,all her little speeches left her as the time drew near4 ,he found her at the piano1 where improvised melodies had been working off her nervous apprehension4 ,not ready8 he asked1 after the usual salutations4 ,i am not going4 ,really8 ,you are not ill1 ,i hope8 ,oh1 no6 ,i never was better1 confessed ,winifred4 ,you should go above all things to-night1 he said4 ,mr4 ,mercer is going to give us parts of the ,redemption4 ,the music was certainly alluring4 ,i have left the choir1 said ,winifred faintly4 ,mr4 ,frothingham never lost his easy self-poise over anything which this jestingly tolerated world offered him1 but he allowed himself to be surprised now4 ,you are surely not in earnest8 he said4 ,you of all persons6 ,i thought you were devoted to the choir4 ,you are not going to desert us for some other field of conquest8 ,oh1 no6 said ,winifred4 ,have you quarreled with ,mercer8 he persisted4 ,he is cranky sometimes4 ,shall ,i fight him8 ,winifred had to laugh at the thought of the handsome1 immaculate young man before her in a pugilistic encounter with ,mr4 ,mercer4 ,no1 you needn't do that1 she said2 and added1 you would get the worst of it1 ,i think4 ,oh1 really6 ,thanks very much6 ,perhaps you do not know my prowess in those lines8 ,but on the whole ,i should prefer a smaller man than ,mercer4 ,he shall be spared if you say so4 ,you relieve me1 said ,winifred1 laughing4 ,but how was she to explain the truth to ,frothingham8 ,it was easier to jest with him than to speak earnestly1 and ,winifred had an instinctive feeling1 not definitely acknowledged1 that to make him understand a spiritual idea would be impossible4 ,but really1 ,winifred1 he went on1 if it is not rude to ask1 ,i should like to know what great reason makes you desert us now in the very height of your success1 and1 ,i should think1 enjoyment8 ,smiles left her face1 and a flush of embarrassment deepened in her cheeks4 ,it was very hard to speak to him of these things--harder than it had been to any other4 ,that is just it1 she said slowly4 ,it has been a success for me1 artistically1 and a great enjoyment4 ,but there has been nothing in it for--for--,christ4 ,she hesitated before the sacred name4 ,why was it so hard to speak it before him8 ,he was silent4 ,they were already by the simple mention of that name in deeper water1 conversationally1 than he was accustomed to4 ,she had to go on4 ,i have been convinced1 she said1 that it has all been very wrong4 ,i have been offering to ,god a pretended worship1 when it has really been the worship of our ,art4 ,that must be idolatry1 ,i think4 ,i can't go on with it4 ,winifred stopped decisively1 and ,frothingham found words to reply with just a tinge of irony3 ,i am afraid you are a bit too metaphysical for me1 ,winifred4 ,i don't quite understand you4 ,do you mean to say singing in the choir is wrong8 ,if it is1 it is a pretty common sin and quite generally approved of4 ,no1 it isn't wrong1 said ,winifred desperately2 at least1 it would be the loveliest thing in the world1 ,i think1 if we were all true worshipers1 and meant what we sang1 and sang to ,god4 ,but you know it hasn't been anything of the sort4 ,we have sung for our own pleasure and the applause of the people4 ,and the money1 some of us1 asserted ,frothingham with indifferent candor4 ,but ,i don't see why we should be troubled about it4 ,it's a part of the machine4 ,it goes to make up the church worship1 and a considerable part of it4 ,i suppose they offer it to the ,lord--or whatever you call it--whether we individual performers mean anything or not4 ,winifred thought of the prayer-wheels4 ,did the church turn the machine and grind out praises by proxy8 ,how much merit did they accumulate thereby in the eyes of ,god who is a ,spirit1 and would be worshiped in spirit and in truth8 ,it was very perplexing4 ,she could not argue it all out with him1 but she said3 ,if the individual worshipers are insincere1 ,i should think the total result 7she had a little of her father's business logic7 would be insincerity4 ,he smiled at her reasoning4 ,let the clergy thrash that out1 he said4 ,when they or the church find fault it will be time enough for my conscience to twinge4 ,i think one of the clergy did find fault in the sermon ,sunday morning1 ventured ,winifred4 ,oh1 that young fellow8 said ,frothingham carelessly4 ,i didn't find out what he was getting at4 ,doctor ,schoolman always looks beatific when we sing4 ,while he continues to beam ,i shall still consider that singing in the choir is about the most pious act ,i do4 ,mr4 ,frothingham was rather vain of the brevity of his list of pious deeds4 ,oh1 come on1 ,winifred1 he continued1 grasping her hand coaxingly1 don't bother your head about such mystical things4 ,come on and sing4 ,think of the ,redemption4 ,she did think of it1 and tears struggled to come with the thought4 ,i am not going1 she said1 without looking in his eyes4 ,don't ask me1 ,george4 ,and you have no pity on poor me1 going without you8 ,no1 she answered1 smiling4 ,you will survive it4 ,cruel lady6 he said dramatically1 and bore her slender fingers to his lips4 ,she withdrew her hand with a slight flush1 and he bethought him to look at his watch4 ,oh1 he exclaimed1 it's late4 ,mercer will think he has lost me1 too4 ,he made hasty adieux and was off1 his light1 swinging step sounding pleasantly down the walk4 ,winifred stood where he had left her1 with a conflict of emotions in her heart4 ,she still felt the tingle of his lips upon her hand1 and still smiled at the airy nothings he said4 ,but there was pain in the compound of her thoughts2 pain at a difference between them that proclaimed its power to grow wider2 pain at defeat in making a principle understood and appreciated2 pain most of all from the subtle sense of something pure and sweet now sullied1 as though too rude a breath had blown upon a sensitive flower1 or as though pearls had been ignorantly trodden upon4 ,meanwhile ,frothingham1 on his way to the handsome church1 indulged in characteristic meditations of his own regarding ,winifred's strange freak4 ,he heartily hoped she would get over it4 ,it was a stupid turn for affairs to take as regarded himself2 for perpetual meetings at the choir1 with the pleasant walks attached1 and frequent private rehearsals in the ,gray drawing-room had furnished admirable facilities for the courtship of whose issue he had not a doubt4 ,but it was far from a misfortune that could not be mended4 ,he should miss her immensely1 of course1 but there were other pleasant people in the choir and he held an easy popularity among them4 ,then he was too well ingratiated in her favor and as a frequent guest at her house to be displaced by this matter4 ,he should still do the attentive in every available way4 ,but he hoped she was not getting fanatical4 ,it would be inexpressibly stupid to have a wife over pious1 with extreme views about things4 ,he should like her to be religious up to a certain point4 ,he thought women ought to be that4 ,it was a good thing to have somebody in a house who knew something about those things in case of trouble4 ,mr4 ,frothingham was himself in the insurance business--at the head of a prominent company's office for that city--and he was accustomed to take business-like account of life risks1 and to recognize death as a hard factor to be dealt with4 ,just now he unconsciously erected a kind of spiritual lightning rod against his future house in the piety of its expected mistress4 ,but he hoped she would not get too religious--not enough so to interfere with the life of gayety which he expected to continue for many a year4 ,but it did not occur to him to relinquish her even if she should begin to show symptoms of extreme views4 ,he was rather fond of ,winifred--quite so1 in fact2 and he was not indifferent to the old man's ducats1 as he had confided to himself and to one or two most intimate friends4 ,on the whole he congratulated himself on pleasant prospects ahead1 and was not too much disconcerted by his own appearance alone at the rehearsal4 ,winifred spent the evening rather ill at ease4 ,its pleasant habit was broken up4 ,had she been foolish8 ,was she not taking an unheard-of stand8 ,would it have been better to go along and conform her course to the popular conscience instead of her own1 perhaps very silly1 one8 ,she should be laughed at1 and it was miserable to be laughed at or thought eccentric4 ,she tried to play the piano1 but imagined strains from the ,redemption interrupted her4 ,she went to talk with her mother1 but found her seated beside the library table with her embroidery while her father read aloud4 ,mrs4 ,gray managed to utter an aside3 ,i had forgotten1 child1 that you were not going to the rehearsal4 ,how strange it seems6 ,winifred drifted away again1 unable to listen to what her father was reading4 ,hubert was nowhere to be found4 ,she went at last to her own room and did the best thing possible4 ,she poured out her heart before ,god1 telling ,him with the simplicity that had characterized her first coming to ,him her perplexity and unhappiness4 ,i am miserable1 she said to ,him4 ,i don't know whether ,i have done right or not1 and ,i miss the music so much4 ,please let me know if it is right to give it up8 ,i do wish to worship ,thee4 ,no flood of revelation poured at once upon her1 but she took her ,bible and read4 ,she had learned no method of study1 but read where she chanced to open4 ,the portion did not say anything about choirs or rehearsals1 but it led her mind away and soothed her4 ,and its atmosphere was so pure and fragrant that when the debated thing rose again it was instantly judged by contrast4 ,very different was the spiritual air of her choir experience1 as in imagination she stepped back into it2 and the fellowship of ,george ,frothingham1 ,mr4 ,mercer1 and the drink-sodden organist1 did not seem like the communion of the saints as she found it in the ,acts of the ,apostles4 ,with the vanishing of her doubts as to the wisdom of her course came back the gentle peace that she had known for five blessed days1 and its price was above all musical delights4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,a ,,new ,,sunday ,sunday morning found four people seated in the comfortable pew which the iron merchant was able to pay for4 ,and1 by the way1 what a comfortable thing is wealth in the various ramifications of life1 even to one's church relationships6 ,no fear of the unwelcome bidding1 ,sit thou here under my footstool--in the undesirable front seats where one's neck must be craned backward to admit of seeing the minister2 nor of being relegated to the back pews when ears have become a little dull with age4 ,how thankful should one be whose lot in life is thus favorably cast6 ,but we have not admitted to our consciousness a thankfulness that the ,epistle of ,james is not often read2 or1 if read1 too literally dwelt upon4 ,we have found a grateful oil to pour upon any rising waters of ill conscience in reflecting upon the beneficent adjustment of social relationships by a wise ,providence and the divine right of money-kings4 ,mrs4 ,gray and her neighbor1 ,mrs4 ,butterworth1 exchanged serene glances of recognition across the shallow partition that separated them1 but the latter added a look of inquiry as it was observed that ,winifred was with her family4 ,mrs4 ,gray's heart sank at the thought of having to explain the phenomenon when once the service should be over4 ,winifred felt that many eyes must note her presence there instead of in the choir1 and the embarrassment of the thought almost dissipated the spirit of true worship for which she had longed and prayed4 ,but she had soon forgotten to a considerable degree the people about her1 and gave herself diligently to the service4 ,it was not altogether without self-consciousness1 however1 that she joined in the hymns1 fearing lest her own voice should be heard above others4 ,mrs4 ,gray1 too1 wished that she would not sing quite so loudly1 lest it should destroy the convenient fiction of the laryngitis4 ,hubert realized that he took his place in the congregation on an entirely new basis this day1 and he endeavored earnestly to put away all spirit of his former prejudice and to receive in meekness anything which his ,lord might say to him from ,his place in the midst4 ,he tried to forget how utterly hollow and meaningless the formalities of the service had heretofore seemed to him1 and to discern1 if possible1 within the mold of man's fashioning the operation of the ,spirit of ,god4 ,with his own heart at peace with ,god and charged with ,his joy1 it was easy to look upon all about him more kindly1 with an eye as critical to find good and honor it as to discover evil4 ,upon even his long-time aversion1 ,doctor ,schoolman1 he looked with expectancy1 for had he not1 after all1 known for these many years ,him whom he--,hubert--had but just begun to know1 as ,winifred would put it8 ,with ears now open1 should he not hear much which would cause his heart to burn within him8 ,hubert and ,winifred shared the same hymn-book1 and together sang with deep gladness hymns which ascribe praises to ,christ4 ,but1 intent upon truthfulness1 ,winifred paused before sentiments not understood1 or the profession of experiences quite unfelt1 and let the congregation sing on without her4 ,the privilege of doing so gave her keen satisfaction1 even though it was difficult to stop in the midst of a pleasant melody4 ,better a break in the melody than in sincerity1 she said to herself1 since the ,lord is here and taking note of everything4 ,the thought of ,his presence was very sweet2 not at all the vision of terror which it had seemed to her a week ago4 ,she found the fear of ,him not incompatible with the purest confidence and love4 ,the choir rendered their accustomed service1 and a new soprano1 on trial1 exploited her skill in solo parts4 ,she sang without ,winifred's refinement of artistic sense1 but sang fashionably4 ,she sang dramatically1 and cast languishing glances at the unresponsive backs of the congregation1 blinking over her notes as though invisible footlights dazzled her eyes4 ,it was not easy to find the sentiment sung in the midst of the quavering notes1 so the poor worshipers below could scarcely offer amens in their hearts2 but they might perhaps consider thankfully that some sort of noise1 joyful or otherwise1 had been made unto the ,lord by their paid proxy4 ,doctor ,schoolman's sermon was a typical one4 ,finished and elegant1 his polished sentences reached his congregation gently2 not like swift arrows from a tense bow1 but rather like harmless darts taken from the preacher's quiver and laid without violence against the hearts of his listeners4 ,very good arrows they often were from the philosophic standpoint1 but seldom fashioned from the rugged essential truths of the doctrine of ,christ4 ,he had a text from ,scripture certainly4 ,but no slavish adherence to its evident meaning1 as seen by its setting1 hampered the orator in his thought4 ,indeed1 was it not a kindness to the old ,book that still somewhat from its pages was thought worthy to act as a peg upon which to hang the ripe and cultivated ideas of the twentieth century8 ,hubert did not find his soul much fed by the discourse1 but1 keen and discriminating as his mind might be1 he was not yet a ,bible student and able to disentangle the original thoughts of the preacher from the teachings of revelation4 ,he found much to assent to ethically1 but1 compared with the revelation in his laboratory when the pure light of heaven shone upon the pages of ,john's ,gospel1 the rhetorical utterances of ,doctor ,schoolman were as water unto wine4 ,they were not so commanding but that he at last found time to glance at his neighbors to see how they were taking the sermon4 ,winifred was too near him to be looked at1 likewise his father2 but he could see his mother4 ,very elegant1 very composed1 very approving she looked4 ,a calm contentment beamed upon her mobile face1 and ,hubert could not help it that his sharp eye1 formed to detect minutiae1 printed upon his mind even the details of the picture she made1 sitting so quietly there4 ,soft1 lustrous1 black silk became well the figure which a life of gentle inactivity caused to incline to corpulence1 while a modest show of exquisite lace relieved its somberness4 ,there was just a tiny glitter of costly gems1 not too vulgarly showy for church1 and the most suitable of bonnets crowned the graceful head1 whose waves of soft brown hair still repudiated silver4 ,the minister's text led him to heaven at this point1 and he drew it in sentimental lines2 a place whose essential light was not so much the ,lamb as other things2 a place of reunited friends1 of congenial occupations1 of tastes gratified1 and of knowledge ever widening4 ,he offered no uncomfortable suggestion that any of his hearers might fail of entering there4 ,hubert saw among his hearers abstracted faces not a few2 interested1 studious faces2 and hungry faces which looked their longing for meat not found as yet in the ,lord's house4 ,among the last class he noticed in one of the front pews a man1 evidently an artisan1 whose deep1 large eyes looked yearningly toward the pulpit with an appeal for bread1 while from it there came1 through fine and learned discourse1 to his untutored mind a stone4 ,his face smote ,hubert with a sudden pity1 and a hunger crept into his own heart1 not alone to know ,christ1 but to make ,him known4 ,he wondered if this man had ever seen ,him as he had4 ,oh1 if he could only tell him of ,him1 and turn the misery of those longing eyes into joy6 ,the sermon ended4 ,it was never very long2 for ,doctor ,schoolman well knew that patience1 that sits good-naturedly for hours at games or races1 or in the seats of a packed theater1 has very short limits at church4 ,he never taxed it1 nor himself1 too far4 ,so the closing hymn was punctually sung1 and the benediction was pronounced in tender tones upon the congregation4 ,mrs4 ,butterworth's curiosity blossomed afresh when the meeting was over and she had the opportunity of speaking with ,winifred and her mother4 ,she addressed herself to the former1 to ,mrs4 ,gray's mingled relief and terror2 relief that she herself was not called upon to find excuses1 and terror lest ,winifred should make herself ridiculous4 ,you were not in the choir this morning8 she said with a why in her voice4 ,no1 said ,winifred1 ,i have left the choir4 ,really6 exclaimed ,mrs4 ,butterworth in a shocked voice4 ,i hope not for good8 ,yes--,i think it is for good1 ,winifred confessed4 ,oh1 please do not say so6 cried ,mrs4 ,butterworth1 but in a suppressed voice1 for they had not yet left the church4 ,what shall we do8 ,we have enjoyed your singing so very much6 ,i am afraid ,i have been too conscious of that fact1 said ,winifred frankly1 while her mother looked alarmed4 ,i think ,i shall be able to worship ,god more sincerely in the congregation4 ,mrs4 ,gray felt that the worst had come1 now that ,winifred had declared her position4 ,she almost turned faint as she heard her speak to ,mrs4 ,butterworth so simply and directly of worshiping ,god4 ,to be sure they were still in the building supposably dedicated to that end1 but to speak aloud of it in so many words seemed very bad form4 ,her daughter might sing protests of adoration in the ears of the whole congregation1 with the loudest of affected fervor1 and she found no fault with it4 ,but the comfort of that was that nobody believed she meant it6 ,mrs4 ,butterworth looked at ,winifred keenly1 and partially grasped her meaning4 ,oh1 ,i hope you'll not look at it that way1 she said half soothingly4 ,it might suit your own feelings better1 but what about ours8 ,i have often said1 and her eyebrows arched plaintively1 that your singing did me more good than the sermon6 ,winifred looked at the worldly1 fashionable woman and wondered1 not at all cynically1 how much good her combined efforts with ,doctor ,schoolman's had done toward a life-transformation4 ,i am sorry not to sing1 she said sympathetically1 since you enjoyed it so much1 ,i would gladly continue if ,i could4 ,i cannot4 ,but there is already someone in my place-- ,mrs4 ,butterworth lifted her hand in silent protest4 ,she looked at ,winifred reproachfully1 and settled her lips as one who should say nothing of the new singer in contrast with her favorite4 ,she shook her head resignedly1 and at this moment they were joined by someone else who proffered greetings4 ,winifred was glad to join ,hubert and to slip out as quickly as possible1 they both as usual preferring the walk home to the carriage4 ,frothingham saw them from afar1 and inwardly commented upon ,hubert's unwonted appearance at church for two consecutive ,sundays1 and his own consequent loss4 ,he had no mind to join ,winifred with ,hubert for a third4 ,the two exchanged views of the sermon on the way home4 ,it seemed very strange to hear ,hubert speak of it sympathetically4 ,he mentioned some admirable points which he found in the minister's reasoning1 and refrained from saying that the change of heart he had himself experienced had not made less hateful to him ,doctor ,schoolman's affected style4 ,how did you like the sermon8 he asked ,winifred when he had expressed his own opinion4 ,oh1 ,i don't know1 said ,winifred hesitatingly4 ,he said some lovely things4 ,that illustration from ,greek mythology was beautiful4 ,i am sure ,i shall remember that4 ,but ,i wish1 she added innocently1 that he had said more about the ,lord4 ,so do ,i1 said ,hubert decidedly4 ,they walked on in silence for awhile and then ,hubert spoke4 ,i am not a qualified judge of sermons1 he said1 but ,i would a hundred times rather read the ,gospel of ,john4 ,are you still reading it8 said ,winifred1 ,yes4 ,i wish we might read it together1 she said wistfully4 ,we might1 he said4 ,shall we begin to-day8 ,by all means4 ,but ,i can't read ,greek1 she added doubtfully4 ,she had observed the ,greek ,testament with its fresh markings4 ,he laughed4 ,but fortunately ,i can read ,english1 he said4 ,and so it was arranged4 ,,chapter ,,viii ,,not ,,of ,,the ,,world ,that afternoon found ,hubert and ,winifred with their books1 looking about for the most suitable place to read4 ,somnolent sounds from the couch in the library warned them not to locate there4 ,they decided on a cool window-seat in the drawing-room overlooking the garden4 ,there they settled themselves and found their places4 ,it was decided to begin at the point ,hubert had reached1 which was the seventeenth chapter4 ,before beginning to read ,hubert shaded his eyes with his hand for a moment to ask1 as had become his wont since he first sought to know ,god1 for light upon the ,word4 ,winifred understood the act and joined him silently4 ,he began reading reverently and slowly4 ,the simple1 stately words fell very sweetly upon their ears4 ,they paused often1 so as to understand more fully what they read4 ,they read with the intent earnestness of those who explore new territory1 and who have immense interests in things discovered4 ,they lingered first over the second verse3 ,as ,thou hast given ,him power over all flesh1 that ,he should give eternal life to as many as ,thou hast given him4 ',as many as thou hast given him1' repeated ,winifred4 ,what do you think that means1 ,hubert8 ,hubert gazed into vacancy meditatively4 ,i don't know1 he announced1 very slowly2 there is a profound mystery here which ,i have seen in earlier chapters4 ,i do not see the point of meeting between two laws that seem almost contradictory4 ,but one point seems very clear1 and it meets us very simply on our human side3 that is1 that the one who 'is willing to do ,his will' is the one whom the ,father 'gives' to ,jesus ,christ4 ,it is very sweet1 said ,winifred1 to think of being given by the ,father to ,him4 ,it seems surer1 somehow1 than to just give oneself4 ,hubert's deep eyes kindled and glowed with a liquid fire4 ,yes1 he said in a suppressed voice1 it is wonderful4 ,he was standing on ground that had not by long habit grown coldly theological1 but was instinct with life to him through a new and vital experience4 ,they read on3 ,and this is life eternal1 that they might know ,thee1 the only true ,god1 and ,jesus ,christ1 whom ,thou hast sent4 ,they paused to meditate1 and ,winifred was the first to break the silence4 ,hubert1 she said in a low voice1 it must be we have entered upon eternal life4 ,we have begun to know ,him4 ,her voice sank upon the last word1 and her lips trembled4 ,instinctively she held out her hand to her brother1 and he clasped it in his4 ,tears streamed down upon her book1 and ,hubert was not ashamed that his own eyes were moist4 ,they were silent for some moments1 while the young man beheld afresh that eternal1 infinite realm out of which the ,word had come forth1 and he knew himself born into it4 ,earth seemed illusory--but the scene of a moment--in the glory of that vision4 ,they read on and ,hubert explained to his sister what he saw in the request of the ,lord ,jesus to be given again the glory which ,he had with the ,father before the world was4 ,never in his reading of the ,gospel had he lost sight of its beginning1 and he read these words1 as he had others1 in its light4 ,he turned back and read the opening verses of the first chapter to ,winifred in explanation of the glory to be given back1 and the very fact of its being asked for1 as though having been surrendered for the time1 shed a light upon passages poorly understood before1 which had shown clearly ,his humanity and ,his subjection to the ,father4 ,again they read on1 pondering as they read1 but paused over the ninth verse3 ,i pray for them2 ,i pray not for the world1 but for them which ,thou hast given ,me2 for they are ,thine4 ,do you think that means1 ,hubert1 said ,winifred1 that ,he does not pray for the world8 ,it seems very exclusive4 ,but we know that ,god loves the world8 ,i think1 said ,hubert1 that the discrimination is not against the world1 but rather for those given ,him out of it4 ,he must care specially for them4 ,perhaps if we read on we shall see the special character of this prayer for us4 ,the words for us slipped out very naturally1 and he did not recall them1 so sweet and sure was the confidence of having been given into the hands of ,jesus ,christ4 ,so they read on1 and noted the petitions of the priestly prayer for ,his own4 ,they did not sound the depths of meaning in them1 for they were yet but babes2 but they observed the strong line of enclosure which separated them from the world and the ,lord's reiterated statement that they were not of it1 even as ,he4 ,it is very strange1 remarked ,winifred to ,hubert1 that ,doctor ,schoolman has never told us about this4 ,but she amended quickly1 ,perhaps he has many times and ,i have not listened4 ,but ,i have always thought we were all very much alike1 only that some people were better than others2 never that there was such a sharp line drawn between those who are given to ,christ and the rest of the world4 ,i do not think we have heard much about it1 said ,hubert4 ,i have not been much of a church-goer1 but ,i think for the most part we have been talked to as though we were all on the same plane as regards relationship to ,god and ,jesus ,christ4 ,but this line is so very exclusive1 said ,winifred almost regretfully4 ,so very inclusive1 you mean1 said ,hubert1 smiling4 ,an inclusive line must be exclusive also1 must it not8 she persisted4 ,i suppose it must1 he admitted4 ,the same walls that shut us in this house shut everybody else out4 ,but there is a way in1 he added1 intent upon the doctrine of ,god's free grace found true by his own experiment4 ,yes1 said ,winifred1 ',him that cometh to ,me ,i will in no wise cast out4' ,that gave me great comfort when ,i read it1 ,hubert4 ,but ,i was thinking now that if ,i had not come to know that ,i was outside1 ,i should never have come inside4 ,they finished the chapter1 dwelling upon the words3 ,father1 ,i will that they also1 whom ,thou hast given ,me1 be with ,me where ,i am2 that they may behold ,my glory1 which ,thou hast given ,me2 for ,thou lovedst ,me before the foundation of the world4 ,their hearts burned at the love that longed for them to be with ,him and to see ,his glory4 ,and they should see it6 ,the distant scene glowed with reality and seemed near4 ,there was ,one with them whom they did not see1 ,one who still draws near when loved disciples commune concerning ,him1 and it was ,he who made the ,scriptures an open1 radiant page4 ,very pure and fragrant was the spiritual air they breathed then1 and it prepared them to judge of baser atmosphere4 ,sanctify them through ,thy truth1 the ,lord ,jesus had asked1 and as they pondered the ,word of ,truth the answer to ,his prayer began4 ,when they finished their reading ,winifred surprised ,hubert by what seemed an irrelevant remark4 ,i do not think ,i shall go to ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party1 ,hubert1 she said4 ,her brother had no need to add1 ,nor shall ,i1 for he was not a society man4 ,but he looked at her inquiringly4 ,i don't know why1 she replied to his look1 but it seems very different from this4 ,don't you think so8 ,i do indeed1 he answered1 understanding what she meant by this4 ,winifred had not arrived at analytical reasons1 but had intuitively reached a conclusion4 ,just a mental picture of the coming brilliant event at ,mrs4 ,butterworth's2 the gay scene1 the intoxicating music1 the hollow courtesies1 flattering words and glances1 the dancing--just an instant vision of the scene that arose in sheer contrast against the pure holiness of the things they had been considering1 and ,winifred turned from it quickly4 ,to have spoken her impression1 and ,hubert's evident approval1 helped her to hold to it in later hours of temptation4 ,the ,japanese gong sounded musically for ,sunday evening tea before they were aware that time had flown4 ,they assembled with their elders who looked not so much refreshed by their slumbers as our young friends by their study4 ,the repast over1 ,hubert1 who wished to do all things required of a ,christian1 but who felt a secret repugnance to listening again to ,doctor ,schoolman1 sounded ,winifred's mind on the matter4 ,are you going to hear ,doctor ,schoolman8 he asked4 ,why1 ,i suppose so1 said she4 ,what else should one do8 ,what is he going to preach about8 he asked evasively4 ,i don't know4 ,let's look in the paper and see4 ,so they found ,saturday's paper and saw that this evening was to have the first of a series of discourses on ,poets and ,their ,teachings1 with ,tennyson as the first subject4 ,i am not hungering for a literary lecture1 said ,hubert4 ,i should like to hear something clearly about ,christ4 ,we might go somewhere else1 said ,winifred1 giving the suggestion which he wished4 ,they looked at the paper again to see the advertised subjects at various churches4 ,they found some sensational1 that might bear reference to the ,lord or might not2 some very promising1 but at churches too far away2 and finally they decided upon a little church in a street near them1 whose modest announcement told simply of preaching at #g3cj4 ,it was with something of a spirit of adventure and an almost troubled conscience that ,winifred deserted her usual place of attendance4 ,they turned down a less fashionable street than their own and came to the church1 a small brick structure1 very fresh and new looking4 ,a few young people still lingered about the door1 loath to go in from the summer twilight4 ,within the newness rivaled that without4 ,the pew backs shone with varnish1 and the aisles glowed with fresh1 red carpet4 ,the simple pulpit was carefully polished and a bright bookmark hung from the gilt-edged leaves of the ,bible4 ,the choir occupied a platform at the right of the minister1 facing the congregation1 and each member held the visitors in view as they were shown to a seat4 ,the evening congregation was scattering1 so their advent was the more noticeable4 ,they were early also1 which gave the young girl organist some time to look at them fixedly across the back of the cabinet organ at which she was seated1 before beginning her voluntary4 ,then she played ,alice1 ,where ,art ,thou8 with loud and ill-assorted stops4 ,had ,winifred been less bent on sincere worship1 or their quest for ,christ-preaching been less serious1 she would have found it difficult to keep from laughing with the sudden sense of humor which assailed her4 ,the service was nearly as elaborate as the statelier neighbor-church could boast4 ,the choir rendered an anthem in process of time1 and ,winifred studied their faces earnestly1 wondering if any thought of reality was in their hearts as they sang4 ,they were nearly all young1 with thoughtless1 unspiritual faces1 but they sang the sentiments of discipline and sorrow4 ,there was no artistic value in their singing1 and ,winifred thought with a sigh1 ,it does not help any that the music should be poor4 ,they have no more heart in it than had we with our trained skill4 ,the minister was a man of moderate abilities and somewhat ungraceful appearance4 ,he was tall1 sandy-haired1 with a half-anxious countenance1 as though the cares of the shining new edifice and of the flock rather troubled him4 ,he preached with no striking originality1 but with evident earnestness1 mingled with abortive efforts at rhetoric4 ,he spoke good words for ,christ1 extolling ,his power to save sinners2 and the simple statements1 however trite they may have sounded to others1 were music in the eager ears of those who had just come to know ,him4 ,at the close of the meeting he made his way to the door to shake hands with the departing hearers1 and ,hubert gave him his with a cordial grasp1 and with thanks for his excellent sermon4 ,the minister's face brightened and he looked after his appreciative visitors with hope that they might come again4 ,,chapter ,,ix ,,two ,,of ,,me ,affairs moved quietly in the ,gray household as the week advanced4 ,mr4 ,frothingham called one evening and made himself very entertaining to the two ladies4 ,mrs4 ,gray laughed gently at his jokes1 for he was a tireless jester 7sometimes a tiresome one71 and he enjoyed seeing the serious light in ,winifred's eyes change to mirth under his curious speeches4 ,the two sang together1 and after that she played dreamy snatches from ,beethoven while he leaned back in an easy chair and listened4 ,what a harmonious and pleasant life stretched before the two together6 ,mrs4 ,gray lived over again through her daughter's heart days when ,robert ,gray and she were learning that life was sweetest when they were together1 and she sighed in a pensive mingling of emotions as she mentally gave ,winifred up to the reign of the ancient conqueror4 ,she fell asleep over the fleecy shawl she was knitting as her daughter played1 and was not aroused when ,mr4 ,frothingham rose to go4 ,winifred and he exchanged smiling glances as they saw her closed eyes1 and spoke in low tones together4 ,mr4 ,frothingham lingered just a perceptible moment over ,winifred's hand in parting1 and looked down into her face with an unspoken question she had never read before so clearly4 ,her eyes fell1 and the flush in her fair face deepened into lovelier red4 ,good night1 each said softly1 and he went away4 ,winifred drank in the luxury of her own sweet thoughts until his step ceased to sound1 and then went over to her mother's chair4 ,she stooped and kissed her forehead4 ,mrs4 ,gray opened her eyes4 ,dear me6 ,i lost myself for a moment1 she said4 ,then1 ,is ,george gone8 she added4 ,yes1 mother4 ,mrs4 ,gray looked at the clock4 ,and it's time1 she said with parental duty4 ,you must go to bed at once1 dear4 ,winifred had had a happy evening1 and the reflection that looked back at her from the glass in her dressing-room was radiant4 ,but1 after all1 in the depths of her heart there was a tinge of something sad1 an unsatisfied sense of some good thing wanting4 ,what was it that the evening lacked8 ,a little book upon the table suggested the answer with a mute reproach4 ,in all the evening's pleasure there had been no sweet savor of ,jesus ,christ4 ,now as she took the book and tried to read her heart beat coldly toward ,him4 ,the words did not speak to her1 but seemed like misty voices far away1 spoken for other ears4 ,the tide of another love had come sweeping in1 strong and insistent4 ,george ,frothingham's face smiled before her1 and instead of the words she was reading she heard his voice as they sang together3 ,i would that my love could silently ,flow in a single word4 ,she looked away from the book and gave herself to dreaming until the little clock reminded her of the hour4 ,then she roused from her reverie4 ,it is too late1 she thought4 ,i will not try to read now4 ,in the morning ,i will make up for it4 ,she knelt beside the bed for her customary evening prayer1 and found herself saying it as in former days4 ,she stopped abruptly4 ,forgive me1 ,lord1 she said1 ,i did not think what ,i was saying4 ,then a feeling of remorse1 of real unhappiness1 seized her4 ,where was the true worship she had coveted and found8 ,it had flown like a bird from her windows4 ,in distress she prayed3 ,o ,lord1 ,i have missed ,thee6 ,i cannot see ,thy face1 ,i do not hear ,thee4 ,do not let me lose ,thee6 ,her wandering thoughts came back to the supreme need4 ,she was not versed in the theology of any school1 and could not have stated her case to suit any4 ,but her sensitive soul barometer registered danger in the atmosphere1 and she had no rest until it changed4 ,being blessed with the grace of honesty--with truth in the inward parts--she poured out her heart before ,god1 and found much relief in so doing4 ,the whole subject did not clear at once4 ,a process was required for that4 ,but a simple understanding with her ,lord that ,he was to be first at any cost was re-affirmed1 and it gave rest4 ,with the restored sense of ,his fellowship she slept4 ,morning dawned with the sweet twittering of birds1 the breath of syringas and roses1 and a faultless sky4 ,it was a joy to live4 ,hubert was out for an early ride1 and his black horse ,sahib's satin coat shone brightly in the morning sunlight4 ,he took the shortest way out of the city and was soon cantering gently down the country road beside a singing brook1 filling his eyes with the beauty everywhere1 worshiping its ,maker1 and wondering how he might best serve ,him4 ,winifred sang morning psalms to the ,lord1 with a corresponding melody in her heart4 ,but sometimes the shadow of a question fell athwart the prospect that seemed so shining4 ,it was about ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party4 ,sunday it had seemed very clear that she should not go1 but since1 with the seventeenth of ,john not so fresh in her mind1 the matter seemed not so settled4 ,how should she excuse herself at this late day8 ,what would ,mrs4 ,butterworth think8 ,more than that1 what would her mother think8 ,would she not be much annoyed8 ,there was another factor1 too4 ,when ,george ,frothingham was there last evening she was so glad the party was not mentioned4 ,how could she have told him she was not going8 ,and when she thought of him she wished to go4 ,he would be there1 looking especially handsome in most careful evening dress4 ,she could almost hear the strains of ,werner's orchestra as she imagined herself floating over the polished floor with the best of dancers4 ,there was still another factor4 ,hanging in her wardrobe1 sheathed carefully in a protecting sheet1 was the loveliest of white dresses4 ,it had been worn but once1 and that in another town4 ,both her mother and she agreed that it was the very thing for ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party4 ,what a pity not to wear it6 ,and if staying away from ,mrs4 ,butterworth's were a precedent to be followed1 where should she ever wear it8 ,a very small reason this1 say you4 ,but you are mistaken4 ,deeply intrenched in the feminine heart is the desire to be beautiful1 and though holy women since the days of old have learned the supreme excellence of the inward adornment over the outward1 the latter is slow to lose its appeal4 ,not yet1 at least1 had ,winifred become indifferent to it4 ,this morning before descending the stairs she was beguiled into taking down the dress1 just to look at it1 spreading it out in fleecy1 shining folds upon the bed4 ,how beautiful it was6 ,she had not learned for her soul's comfort that the wise man's counsel is very profound when he instructs1 ,look not upon the wine when it is red6 ,even in the daylight tiny brilliants flashed out from their setting in foamy lace about the neck4 ,well ,winifred knew what a radiant picture would stand within her mirror-frame when the dress should be donned1 and eyes bright with excited anticipation should rival the glow of diamonds4 ,if she went1 she should wear the slender gold necklace with its single pendant of diamonds which her father had given her4 ,but she was not going--and for what an intangible reason6 ,hubert had returned from his ride1 and ,winifred met him in the upper hall and confided to him her perplexity4 ,i feel as though there were two of me instead of one1 she said4 ,one of us would like to go to ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party4 ,and the other one8 asked ,hubert4 ,decided last ,sunday not to go1 she answered4 ,which one do you think is on the ,lord's side8 he queried4 ,the one that says not to go1 she replied1 without hesitation4 ,i should stand by that one if ,i were you1 he advised4 ,i will1 she said1 and slipped her hand in his as they went down the stairs4 ,at the breakfast table the dreaded discussion was precipitated4 ,mrs4 ,gray addressed her daughter4 ,winifred1 dear1 she said1 have you looked at your new white dress to see if it requires anything to be done before ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party8 ,did we not think the girdle should be altered slightly8 ,i was looking at it this morning1 mother1 faltered ,winifred1 and ,hubert shot a sympathetic glance across the table4 ,will it need altering1 do you think8 ,n--no1 she hesitated1 ,i think it is all right4 ,then she girded the loins of her intention and added3 ,but ,i think1 mother1 if you do not mind1 ,i should prefer not to go to ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party4 ,why1 ,winifred6 exclaimed her mother in surprise4 ,what can you be thinking of8 ,the invitations were accepted long ago4 ,you are not ill1 certainly8 ,oh1 no6 said ,winifred4 ,but ,i think ,i can excuse myself to ,mrs4 ,butterworth so that she will not be offended4 ,my chief regret will be if it disappoints you1 mother4 ,but what can be your reasons8 said ,mrs4 ,gray4 ,they must be very good if you would decline the invitation at this late day4 ,it will be very rude unless you are positively hindered4 ,i know it1 said ,winifred humbly4 ,but the reasons seem very strong to me4 ,she was of a sympathetic nature1 and it was easy to look at things through another's eyes4 ,she saw the case clearly from her mother's standpoint1 and it was difficult to muster her own defense4 ,but she prayed inwardly that the ,one she sought to please would come to her aid1 and ,he did4 ,it was no small help1 also1 that ,hubert1 strong-minded and firm as a rock1 was on her side4 ,she went on bravely1 but in a low voice and with downcast eyes3 ,you know ,i have begun to try to worship ,god1 mother2 and to know ,him just a little is the sweetest thing ,i ever knew4 ,hubert and ,i were reading the ,bible together ,sunday--she glanced across at him appealingly1 and his face encouraged her--and we read some of the words of ,jesus to ,his ,father4 ,he said that we--that is1 those who were given to ,him--were 'not of the world1' just as ,he is not4 ,it impressed me very much4 ,i could not help seeing ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party1 and it seemed to me like 'the world1' and that perhaps ,i did not belong there4 ,it seemed so very1 very different from what we were reading1 that ,i thought ,i never could go again to such a place4 ,i shall be very glad1 if you don't mind it too much1 mother1 if ,i may stay at home8 ,she stopped and waited for her answer4 ,there was silence for a moment1 and then ,mrs4 ,gray1 who had passed through various stages of apprehension and distress as her daughter spoke1 replied as calmly as possible3 ,i am sure ,i ought to be very glad1 ,winifred1 to have you religiously inclined4 ,but ,i should be extremely sorry to have you get any fanatical ideas4 ,i never thought you were given to eccentric things1 and ,i hope you will not become so4 ,it seems to me that you and ,hubert--she hesitated to include her son in the remark1 but ventured it--are rather young ,christians to decide such things for yourselves in such an extraordinary way4 ,you should look at older persons4 ,i suppose ,i am not an example--and her tone was just a trifle icy for such a gentle lady--but ,mrs4 ,schoolman will be there with her daughters1 and so will many of the most prominent members of our church4 ,i really cannot approve of such an extraordinary idea6--extraordinary6 and she repeated the word which usually indicated the high water mark of her well-bred disapproval4 ,winifred looked silently at her plate1 and ,mrs4 ,gray spoke again1 looking at her husband4 ,i wish1 father1 she said1 that you would try and set ,winifred right on this matter4 ,we cannot let her go on in such a mistake4 ,where will it lead to8 and with real distress she considered the calamity of her beautiful daughter's withdrawal from society1 and the dashing her own fond pride to the ground4 ,mr4 ,gray had been listening thoughtfully4 ,now1 being appealed to1 he spoke4 ,to tell the truth1 mother1 he said1 ,i do not think the idea quite so extraordinary as you do4 ,when ,i was a boy1 where ,i lived1 if young people were converted it made all sorts of difference as to the things they did and the places they went to4 ,we didn't expect to see them at dances1 or at the theater1 or any such places4 ,if we did1 everybody reckoned that they had backslidden4 ,those things were called 'worldly4' ,we have almost lost the word now1 but it must be descriptive of something1 ,i should say4 ,if ,winifred instinctively takes a stand against such things1 without being talked to about it1 ,i shall think it is the old sort of religion that she has somehow discovered1 and shall not be sorry4 ,i would really prefer it to be a kind that can be distinguished without reference to the church records4 ,that variety is scarce enough1 in all conscience6 ,winifred was surprised at her father's defense1 and it unnerved her4 ,tears sprang to her eyes1 and she nearly choked over the coffee with which she sought to hide her quivering lips4 ,hubert looked gratefully at his father4 ,mrs4 ,gray looked much depressed4 ,she expected wise words of reproach that would settle the matter with ,winifred and perhaps save much trouble in the future4 ,and now he really inclined to her view of the case6 ,it was disappointing4 ,but men1 after all1 did not always see social matters as women did4 ,she was not accustomed to arguing with her husband1 but this case required more resistance than usual4 ,i am surprised1 father1 she said sorrowfully1 to hear you put it that way4 ,i do not think you can realize what it means for a young woman to drop out of society4 ,and ,i do not see how you can compare those times you speak of with the present4 ,i am sure ,doctor ,schoolman frequently tells us what remarkable advance we have made over those times in every way4 ,i hope you do not wish to go backward6 and ,mrs4 ,gray felt a little flutter of triumph at her own unusual skill in argument4 ,nobody responded at once and she gathered courage to go on4 ,i quite agree with that young man who spoke at our church in behalf of the ,y4,m4,c4,a4 ,gymnasium4 ,you remember he said that the days had quite gone by for a 'long-faced ,christianity4' ,i thought it a very sensible remark4 ,winifred has not troubled us with a very long face lately1 remarked her father1 glancing at her4 ,it has lengthened somewhat since we began our discussion1 but ,i think it has been unusually cheerful for a week or so4 ,winifred colored under these personal observations4 ,i do not know what it will become1 said her mother1 if she denies herself all gayety like those young persons you tell about4 ,my memory of those young persons1 said ,mr4 ,gray1 smiling1 is not a very melancholy one4 ,some of them were pretty severe upon themselves and other people too1 ,i will admit4 ,but the most of them seemed to have found something so very satisfactory that these diversions were not required4 ,i think ,winifred is like the latter sort4 ,i hope so4 ,but1 ,hubert1 turning to his son1 you look very much interested in this matter1 but have said nothing4 ,i suppose you agree with ,winifred8 ,i do1 sir1 said ,hubert readily4 ,i thought so--,i thought so1 said his father1 far from displeased with the reply4 ,he did not explain to the little company that he1 himself1 had been one of the young persons referred to1 and that great had been his comfort in the early days of the new life2 but that a series of decoys had gradually led him back to the world's excitements and ambitions1 until his professed ,christianity had crystallized into the formal1 eminently respectable1 but powerless mold of conventional religion4 ,his memory of early1 ardent days was stirred1 and he gladly warmed himself by its fires4 ,but1 ,hubert1 he went on1 you are a thoughtful young man--how do you account for the fact that ,christ1 ,himself1 attended social functions8 ,he was not a recluse4 ,he was at the marriage in ,cana of ,galilee1 at a dinner in the house of ,simon the ,pharisee1 at a feast in ,bethany1 and ,i do not know at how many other social gatherings4 ,indeed it was charged against ,him that ,he received sinners and ate with them4 ,what do you make of it8 ,it is a difficult question1 father1 said ,hubert4 ,but ,i should think if we consider in what capacity ,he went to those places1 and what ,he did when ,he got there1 it might give us light4 ,that is so1 said ,mr4 ,gray4 ,in what capacity do you think ,he went8 ,he had come to give life to men1 said ,hubert with kindling eyes4 ,he must go wherever ,he might find them--wherever occasion presented itself4 ,i do not think ,he sought ,his own gratification4 ,nor do ,i1 said ,mr4 ,gray4 ,what about 'what ,he did when ,he got there'8 ,he performed a miracle1 for one thing1 at ,cana1 replied ,hubert1 whose diligent study of the ,gospel of ,john now served him well4 ,so ,he did1 assented ,mr4 ,gray4 ,if our little girl could do that1 now1 it might do to let her go1 and he glanced at her fondly4 ,yes1 said ,hubert1 and ,he evidently became the central figure there1 manifesting ,his glory4 ,if one of ,his followers could capture ,mrs4 ,butterworth's ball for ,him it would surely pay to go4 ,if ,i thought ,winnie were to do that ,i would certainly put on a dress suit and go myself4 ,hubert could not resist a teasing glance at his mother4 ,that lady was plainly horrified4 ,the thought of ,winifred's preaching1 as she mentally called it1 to anyone at the party1 or doing any other eccentric thing1 was far more shocking than her staying away4 ,mr4 ,gray secretly enjoyed the look upon his wife's face4 ,and the other places8 he went on4 ,i am not familiar with the incident in the house of ,simon the ,pharisee1 said ,hubert4 ,it is very striking and beautiful1 said ,mr4 ,gray4 ,christ forgave a sinner--a woman of the city--and ,he had somewhat to say to ,his host1 the ,pharisee1 about it4 ,he spoke a very telling parable at that dinner4 ,mrs4 ,gray again looked uneasy4 ,she hoped ,winifred would not feel it her duty1 finally1 to go1 if it involved a religious errand4 ,and at ,bethany8 ,mr4 ,gray continued4 ,he was anointed for ,his burial1 said ,hubert1 gravely4 ,ah1 yes6 said his father in a subdued voice4 ,both men thought reverently of the scene when one who had been raised from the dead sat at meat with ,him who1 for his sake and for all others1 was ,himself to die2 and where one of the company poured upon ,his blessed feet love's grateful1 costly sacrifice4 ,to such a feast the true worshiper might indeed gladly go4 ,it was tacitly agreed that ,winifred was to follow her own inclination with regard to the party4 ,mrs4 ,gray was far too loyal and amiable a wife to seriously oppose her husband's wish1 and the sudden fear that ,winifred1 if she went to the party1 might feel called upon to bear some sort of unusual testimony to her ,lord affected the case strongly4 ,but she grieved much over her daughter's prospective withdrawal from the assemblies of the best people4 ,winifred wrote a simple1 truthful note to ,mrs4 ,butterworth1 and was relieved when it was dispatched4 ,a sensitive dread of criticism and of doing an unusual thing was offset by the sweet consciousness of a happy fellowship conserved4 ,no rude breath from the gay assembly's sensuous delights was to blow upon this flower of communion1 so pure1 so fragrant4 ,so ,winifred rejoiced1 only an occasional shadow falling athwart her peace when she thought of one whose increasingly intimate fellowship threatened the life of the fair flower as surely as could ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party4 ,it was an uneasy suggestion1 not a recognized fact1 and she put it hastily from her when it arose4 ,the evening of the party came and ,mrs4 ,gray prepared herself and went1 not too early and not too foolishly late4 ,she had a faculty of striking the happy mean in life's proprieties4 ,winifred looked at her admiringly1 with the candid conviction that no better dressed nor finer looking woman of her years would be there4 ,she felt a pang of sorrow1 too1 in her mother's disappointment at leaving her behind1 as she kissed her good-night4 ,the carriage rolled away and presently bore its fair passenger to the door of her friend's brilliantly lighted house1 where we will leave her4 ,,chapter ,x ,,the ,,church ,,social ,another social event followed hard on the heels of ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party1 and this ,mrs4 ,gray succeeded in inducing both her son and daughter to attend1 it being no less sacred a function than the quarterly ,church ,social4 ,hubert was not familiar with the institution1 but so ardently burned his love for the ,lord ,jesus ,christ that he now sought rather than avoided the company of those who knew ,him1 if so be some word of ,him might be spoken4 ,he longed for the fellowship of joy with those who1 like himself1 had been called out of darkness into ,his marvelous light4 ,this was denied in the formal services of the church1 but surely the pent up devotion of the worshipers would find some avenue of expression when they met together socially without those restraints4 ,hubert was disposed to discount his own former estimate of church-members' sincerity1 and did not doubt that many had found an experience as genuine as his own of the grace of ,god4 ,mr4 ,gray did not care to go1 preferring the library and the new number with its fascinating leaves uncut of a magazine1 religio-worldly1 that had solved for last days the problem beyond the ,saviour's ken of how to serve ,god and mammon4 ,three went1 however1 in the comfortable carriage1 to ,mrs4 ,gray's great satisfaction1 and drew up before the side entrance to the handsome church4 ,bright light streamed from the parlor windows1 illuminating exquisitely stained pictures of the ,apostles4 ,strains from a select orchestra greeted them as they entered the house1 and ,hubert recognized with a queer feeling of incongruity the overture from a well-known opera4 ,the appealing notes of the violins drew his memory instantly to the production he had lately enjoyed1 but he thrust the mental vision from him as unworthy of ,christ1 and tried not to listen to the seductive strains4 ,a very poor selection for a ,christian gathering1 he thought to himself4 ,hubert was inexperienced1 and to him a gathering of ,christians meant a ,christian gathering4 ,the parlors presented a gayly attractive scene4 ,they were decorated in red and white4 ,flowers and foliage were profuse1 and the handsome toilettes of the ladies added much to the brilliant effect4 ,doctor ,schoolman and his wife were receiving1 and our party joined the line of guests making their orderly way toward them4 ,doctor ,schoolman was very amiable1 and his wife1 a vivacious little lady in satin and artificial curls1 chatted volubly with the members of the flock as they were dutifully presented4 ,you naughty child6 she cried playfully to ,winifred4 ,how could you desert us with your charming voice8 ,dear ,mrs4 ,gray1 you really should chastise your daughter--you really should6 ,and she shook the false curls with mock severity4 ,mrs4 ,gray began her own lament and disclaimer of any responsibility in ,winifred's apostasy4 ,but the dear child's voice1 she said extenuatingly1 has really been very much taxed4 ,it's not that1 said ,winifred1 honestly4 ,but ,mrs4 ,schoolman's eye was caught by the guest next in line and further explanations were unnecessary4 ,meanwhile ,doctor ,schoolman had been greeting ,hubert4 ,mr4 ,hubert ,gray6 he exclaimed1 very blandly4 ,really this is a pleasure4 ,i am glad to see you4 ,i am glad to come1 said ,hubert1 looking in the ,doctor's face frankly4 ,he wished to tell him how the ,lord's people had become so vitally his4 ,but the reverend gentleman did not note his earnest look4 ,we are honored if you can give us some of your valuable time4 ,you are such a man of business1 your father tells me2 and of scientific research1 too1 as we all know4 ,it is kind to let us tear you away a little while from stocks and bonds and experiments4 ,i have concluded1 ,doctor ,schoolman1 said ,hubert gravely1 that there are interests more important than business or science4 ,quite so--quite so1 said ,doctor ,schoolman4 ,i am glad you see it4 ,we cannot afford to give all our attention to the graver pursuits of life4 ,we need relaxation4 ',all work and no play'--you know the old adage1 eh8 ,ha1 ha6 ,and the minister laughed an easy1 social laugh1 not at all boisterous1 but of a mirth well in hand and suited to the occasion4 ,hubert looked at him almost with a frown4 ,but we of wider experience are prepared to forgive the ,doctor that he did not recognize the spiritual as the more important interests which might lead a young man to a church social4 ,while ,hubert debated a reply which should illuminate ,doctor ,schoolman as to his real motive1 others were pressing up to take the hand of the minister1 and he passed on with his mother and ,winifred4 ,they drifted not far away1 and ,hubert glanced frequently at ,doctor ,schoolman1 watching his suave smile1 almost catching the smooth pleasantries that fell from his accustomed tongue--mild1 clerical jests1 wherewith he of the pulpit assures him of the pew1 ,i am as thou art4 ,very nice and proper it might all be1 but to the one who longed to hear some word of ,him whom he loved with such fresh1 intense earnestness1 it was as gall and wormwood4 ,he turned away and reviewed the whole scene about him4 ,mrs4 ,gray and ,winifred were already in conversation with a group of people near him1 and he heard his mother's soft1 deprecating voice1 as in reply to an eager storm of questioning4 ,a flush was rising in his sister's face1 and just a touch of iron determination1 not unknown to the house of ,gray1 settled her shapely lips4 ,brave little soul6 he said to himself as he thought of the offenses1 anent ,mrs4 ,butterworth's party and the choir1 for which she must answer in the court of popular opinion4 ,not far from him a group of girls1 very smartly dressed1 standing in interesting proximity to a corresponding group of youths1 flirted and giggled with evident enjoyment4 ,a soberer group farther on ,hubert found to be discussing the war situation in the ,east1 as he drew near in a spirit of investigation4 ,some one in the party kindly drew him into their midst1 where he joined the conversation for a time4 ,then there was a diversion1 the new soprano having consented to sing4 ,the murmur of voices subsided for the most part1 save from a party of elderly people1 hard of hearing1 who continued their absorbing conversation throughout4 ,miss ,trilling sang a love song with much expression1 and responded to an encore with a humorous selection4 ,the young people applauded loudly1 and their elders smiled with indiligent pleasure4 ,hubert continued his search1 now rather despairing1 for that for which he had come4 ,this time he proceeded under the guidance of a man who offered to introduce him to some whom he did not know4 ,they passed a quiet little wall-flower in a sober dress and he looked at her wistfully1 seeing something in her face which made him think she knew his ,lord and would talk of ,him if there were hut a chance4 ,but his guide drew him on4 ,he listened to bits of conversation1 straining his ears in vain to hear one reference to ,christ4 ,the conversations were sometimes serious1 more often gay1 but none spoke of their ,lord4 ,hubert's heart withdrew within him1 and he had no further inclination to speak to any of his new-found hope4 ,a bitter theory was forming itself in his mind4 ,this company was no different from any other in the world4 ,were they not all as he thought them in the days of his scepticism8 ,if they knew ,him whom he had come to see as the supremest ,object of devotion in all the universe1 could they forbear to speak of ,him when they met together8 ,would they not be like flaming brands1 igniting one another in their fervent zeal8 ,he was not acquainted with the book of ,malachi1 and had perhaps never read the words3 ,then they that feared the ,lord spake often one to another3 and the ,lord hearkened and heard it1 and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the ,lord and that thought upon ,his name4 ,had he known the words they would have seemed a satire in this company4 ,they do not know ,him1 he thought passionately1 and ,i--am ,i under a delusion8 ,is it all a farce8 ,the suggestion was intense pain1 and he put it from him4 ,no1 that ,one whom he had seen in his laboratory1 the ,man of the cross and of the glory1 was no delusion4 ,to admit ,him to be such would be blackest midnight4 ,he held on to his revelation with an iron clasp1 but he longed to escape from an atmosphere that now stifled him4 ,he made his way to his mother and ,winifred4 ,shall ,i take you to the refreshment room8 he asked in a cold1 strained voice4 ,winifred looked at him anxiously1 with eyes almost as troubled as his own4 ,yes1 she said in an undertone1 and let us get away as soon as possible4 ,mrs4 ,gray consented genially to be escorted to the room1 elaborately decorated1 where charmingly-gowned young women dispensed elegant refreshments4 ,several gentlemen1 among whom ,hubert recognized elders of the church1 with their wives and other ladies1 passed gay bandinage one to another as they sipped cooling ices4 ,hubert took nothing1 but stood1 silent and stern1 while his mother1 unconscious of the tempest in his breast1 leisurely and daintily enjoyed her refreshment4 ,where are the poor people8 ,hubert asked ,winifred in something of his old sarcastic tone1 as they left the room4 ,i am afraid they are not here1 said she1 gently4 ,then she glanced around4 ,yes1 there are some1 ,i see4 ,there is ,madge ,nichol1 that young woman in the stylish blue dress4 ,she has done sewing for me1 and seemed to need the money very much4 ,but see how she is dressed6 ,it must be much beyond her means4 ,then a womanly intuition smote her1 and she looked down at her own costly dress4 ,i see how it is1 ,hubert1 she said4 ,i think we are to blame4 ,no girl would like to meet us in this way unless she were well dressed4 ,i should advise them to stay away1 said ,hubert4 ,they would lose nothing valuable4 ,that is what ,i shall do1 ,i think1 said ,winifred with a sigh4 ,do let us get away as soon as mother is ready4 ,shall ,i see if the carriage is waiting1 mother8 said ,hubert1 interrupting when he could a discussion of the best places in which to spend the coming heated term4 ,you might1 ,mrs4 ,gray replied1 ,i did not wish to stay late4 ,hubert went out with alacrity to signal the faithful coachman1 already in waiting4 ,they had soon departed1 and both young people were glad to get out under the pure1 gleaming stars and hasten the carriage to the dear home where the face of the ,lord had first been seen by each1 and was yet to be seen in increasing loveliness4 ,hubert found his father still in the library1 but asleep4 ,he awoke as his son entered4 ,well1 ,hubert1 he said1 did you have a good time8 ,no1 sir1 ,hubert replied1 ,i had a wretched time4 ,how was that8 his father asked4 ,what happened8 ,nothing happened that ,i expected4 ,i thought there would be some there who knew and loved ,jesus ,christ1 and would wish to talk of ,him4 ,i did not hear ,him mentioned4 ,i might as well have been at ,mrs4 ,butterworth's ball so far as that goes4 ,well1 said ,mr4 ,gray1 apologetically1 it was a social time1 you know4 ,yes1 ,i know it1 father4 ,that is why ,i went4 ,are not people usually most sociable about the things that interest them most8 ,there was a company of people1 professedly born from above and expecting soon to see the very glory of ,god4 ,they take it very coolly1 at all events4 ,i believe it is a sham4 ,oh1 ,hubert1 groaned his father1 don't say that4 ,i don't mean1 said ,hubert quickly1 that ,jesus is a sham4 ,i believe1 and his deep eyes softened1 that ,he is the most real fact in the universe4 ,but the belief of those people1 father6 ,that sort of gathering is what ,doctor ,schoolman calls 'relaxation1' and ,i think he is right4 ,i am convinced that ,christ is irksome to them2 a subject to be endured on ,sundays1 but to enjoy relaxation from at other times4 ,am ,i right8 ,hubert1 said ,mr4 ,gray1 slowly1 ,i believe you are partly right4 ,but be deliberate and generous in your conclusions4 ,do not judge us too hastily or hotly4 ,hubert winced as his father included himself in his own sweeping indictment4 ,mr4 ,gray went on3 ,some of us have known ,him1 even as you do1 in earlier days4 ,but we have lost the brightness of our vision through--he hesitated--through sin4 ,we have followed afar off1 and are very poor representatives now4 ,be patient1 and it may be the warm zeal of such as you will quicken us again4 ,he looked at his son appealingly4 ,hubert's generous heart melted4 ,forgive me1 father1 he said humbly4 ,i have no right to judge anybody4 ,forget my tirade if you can4 ,and ,i1 he added with a faint smile1 will try to forget the ,social4 ,,chapter ,,xi ,,mr4 ,,bond',s ,,lecture ,hubert recovered from the cold bath into which he had been thrown like a ,spartan babe by his first contact with church sociability4 ,his1 as a new creature1 was a vigorous constitution1 and was destined to out-live many a shock incident to the earthly career of a heaven-born man4 ,both he and ,winifred returned to their joy and calm1 and were looking forward eagerly to ,mr4 ,bond's lectures4 ,on the day of his arrival ,mr4 ,gray came home to luncheon with an announcement4 ,my dear1 he said to his wife1 ,mr4 ,selton tells me that his wife has unexpectedly been called to ,chicago by her mother's illness1 and they will be unable to entertain ,mr4 ,bond4 ,he suggested that we might like to do so4 ,winifred and ,hubert looked up with animation4 ,indeed6 ,and you told him8 asked ,mrs4 ,gray1 with a housewifely instinct of defense against invasion4 ,i told him1 said ,mr4 ,gray1 that ,i knew no reason why we could not do so1 and that it would be a great pleasure4 ,i told him1 however1 that ,i should ask you about it1 and 'phone him if there were any arrangement to prevent it4 ,mrs4 ,gray considered4 ,the chief guest room stood ready1 immaculate in yellow and white1 since the spring cleaning4 ,there was no reason why it should be denied1 but she had hoped that its repose would not be broken until ,miss ,virginia ,white1 her most aristocratic friend1 should make her promised visit4 ,however1 it would be manifestly unreasonable to refuse to receive ,mr4 ,bond1 and she could not offer him another room while that stood empty4 ,yes1 the yellow-and-white room must be sacrificed4 ,no1 ,father1 she said amiably1 there is no reason why we cannot take him4 ,when will he come8 ,he arrives this evening by the eight o'clock train from ,new ,york4 ,hubert1 perhaps you would like to meet him8 ,i should1 said ,hubert4 ,i am glad he is coming here4 ,so am ,i1 said ,winifred4 ,it will be lovely4 ,that afternoon ,winifred called up her friend ,adele1 and the telephone transmitted a lively conversation4 ,the result of it was that ,adele promised to go with ,winifred to ,mr4 ,bond's ,bible lectures2 at least to one1 to see if she liked it4 ,in the evening ,hubert met ,mr4 ,bond at the station4 ,they were scarcely seated in the light trap and facing toward home when the young minister said3 ,well1 ,mr4 ,gray1 have you found ,god demonstrable8 ,yes6 ,hubert almost shouted1 and the two grasped each other's hands in the strong grip of a fraternity never formed by man4 ,i thought so1 said ,mr4 ,bond4 ,how did you know8 said ,hubert4 ,i thought it would be so1 said the other1 and ,i saw it in your face as we met4 ,thank ,god for it4 ,amen1 said ,hubert fervently4 ,mr4 ,bond led ,hubert on with keen interest to tell of the process of his search after ,god1 and of the illumination brighter than the light of day1 that came to him when the ,spirit shone with such clear luster on the ,word4 ,to ,hubert it seemed the happiest hour of his life1 as he conversed with a man who seemed to understand the processes of his own heart1 and to be thoroughly at home in the new world into which he himself had entered4 ,the drive was all too brief1 but later in the evening1 when good-night had been spoken to the rest of the household1 the two men sat in the unlighted veranda and talked until midnight of ,christ and the matters of ,his realm4 ,the tout ensemble of the company gathered to hear ,mr4 ,bond's first lecture was somewhat curious4 ,it was not a large congregation1 but it was representative1 being drawn from the interested or curious of nearly every kind of church or religious coterie in the city4 ,keen ,bible students were there1 notebooks in hand1 prepared to capture any new suggestion which might help them4 ,the critical were there1 representing various shades of belief and prejudice1 from the quiet repressionist1 who1 disdaining emotion1 views with dispassionate coldness the great tenets of the faith1 to the irrepressible enthusiast whose spiritual understanding is often lost beneath a foam of feeling2 from the instructed brother who reads his title clear with logical accuracy in the ,scriptures and glories in his standing with belieing indifference to his state1 to the anxious soul whose hope of heaven veers with every changing wind of fitful emotion4 ,each critic was bent on discovering if the stranger would hew faithfully to the line of his own demarcation4 ,there were ,mr4 ,selton's friends1 people of his own station1 who responded to his personal invitation to come1 prepared to listen courteously1 to express polite thanks at the end for the pleasure conferred1 and1 for the most part1 to find various lions in the way of attending again1 profound as were their regrets6 ,mr4 ,gray and ,hubert both succeeded in getting the hour away from business1 and the latter arrived at the hall just as his mother1 with ,winifred and ,adele1 was entering and joined them4 ,adele formed a singular figure in the midst of the assembly4 ,no thought of unusual sobriety had toned down her usually stylish and somewhat striking costume1 and a large red hat of the milliner's finest skill shaded becomingly her piquant face4 ,her keen1 merry eyes studied the congregation1 and she could not resist whispering a few impressions to ,winifred before the lecture began4 ,isn't this a funny crowd8 she asked4 ,such a combination6 ,look at that meek little body in the front row and the fat dowager behind her4 ,and do see that anarchist-looking man at the side who is looking at ,mr4 ,bond as though he would eat him up4 ,do you know who he is8 ,i hope he hasn't a bomb in his pocket4 ,i don't know him1 but ,i'll ask ,hubert1 said ,winifred1 and she passed the question along4 ,hubert1 who is that man yonder--the one with the high shoulders4 ,adele thinks he is an anarchist4 ,i think so1 too1 said ,hubert4 ,at least he is a socialist of a very virulent type4 ,he has come as a critic1 ,i suppose4 ,he professes to study religionists1 and writes scornful letters about them to a socialist paper4 ,winifred communicated this intelligence to ,adele1 who was much pleased with her own acumen4 ,presently she resumed3 ,do look at that woman ahead of us6--the one in the little bonnet1 and so distressingly neat4 ,she has been surveying us4 ,she doesn't approve of me1 but she commiserates me4 ,that's plain enough4 ,well1 ,i am a sinner1 no doubt1 and she has found me out6 ,if she looks around again do see what you think of her4 ,mrs4 ,bland did look around again1 and both young ladies observed her4 ,a rather shapely mouth was settled in an expression of studied repose1 and her eyes rested approvingly1 or with patient toleration1 on others who were minded to come to the ,bible lecture4 ,her hair was parted with conscientious exactness1 and upon her whole appearance there sat the picture of conscious piety4 ,oh1 ,i can't stand her6 whispered ,adele in an ecstasy of dislike4 ,i should fly if ,i had to look at her long6 ,sister ,saint ,serena--the ,salubrious6 ,winifred choked down a laugh at ,adele's suddenly inspired alliteration1 while ,hubert looked a dignified reproach4 ,it was a poor preparation1 certainly1 for what was to follow4 ,adele's face straightened innocently1 while ,winifred still struggled to suppress her risibility4 ,there were few preliminaries before ,mr4 ,bond proceeded to speak4 ,his subject dealt with vital matters1 with underlying truth upon which rests all lesser fact1 and he spoke with a calm certainty1 unlike the ,scribes4 ,his lecture betrayed a familiarity with the ,scriptures such as his auditors had seldom met with before1 and a reverence for them born not of superstition but of some apprehension of their unfathomed depths4 ,our little party listened with fascinated interest4 ,especially was ,hubert delighted when from the portions that had been the favorite debating ground of his sceptical friends riches of meaning were discovered that stamped unmistakably the divine imprimatur upon them4 ,winifred and ,adele forgot ,mrs4 ,bland and every one else listening2 the one with sweet content in hearing anything that concerned the ,one she loved1 and the other with an awakened interest in lines of thought she had never pursued before4 ,he is splendid6 said ,adele at the close of the lecture4 ,i am coming every day4 ,unless--there's that bothersome card party ,thursday6 ,stupid affair6 ,but ,i won't go4 ,what's the use8 ,and so ,mr4 ,bond secured a regular attendant4 ,many were the expressions of interest1 some of them very genuine4 ,mrs4 ,gray had listened to her guest with valorous attempts to resist the habitual afternoon nap1 and told him later how very good indeed the lecture was and hoped he would quite understand how manifold were the cares of a household1 and how unavoidable her hindrances1 should she be unable to be present every day4 ,and ,mr4 ,bond did understand his gentle hostess very well1 and often as he saw her in her home his meditative eye rested upon her fair mother-face with an expression of chivalrous pity and of earnest longing4 ,the second day's lecture found the audience sifted to some degree of the idly curious and of a part of the critics unto whose standards the speaker had failed to attain4 ,as ,mr4 ,bond's language was remarkably free from the current phraseology of the schools of teaching1 it was difficult for theological birds to discover at once whether indeed he were of their feather1 and a second hearing1 at least1 was needed4 ,but no uncertain note was sounded to the alarm of any advocate of the most orthodox written creed or of the severest unwritten code of belief1 in answer to the pivotal question of all theology3 ,jesus1 the ,son of ,man--,who is ,he8 ,none gave more ardent honor to that ,mystery of godliness1 who ,was manifested in the flesh1 ,justified in the spirit1 ,seen of the angels1 ,preached among the ,gentiles1 ,believed on in the world1 ,received up in glory4 ,if some fell away from the gathering1 there were new hearers1 brought through the good report of those interested1 and the company numbered rather more than before4 ,adele's anarchist was again there1 fastening his pale1 strange eyes upon the face of the lecturer whether he spoke or was quietly sitting2 at times half crediting its look of candor1 then relapsing into sneering hopelessness of finding an honest man among his class4 ,he determined to try his favorite test of a benevolent scheme before ,mr4 ,bond should go away1 and see if he would abide by the ,sermon on the ,mount4 ,to-day the lecturer's theme was ,redemption1 and from all the cardinal divisions of the ,scriptures he drew illustrations of their one consistent theme4 ,it was when he reached the ,day of ,atonement under the ,levitical institution1 that ,adele ,forrester's interest reached its height4 ,he drew a vivid1 simple picture1 as a teacher might present an object lesson to a child1 of the offering1 the priest1 the waiting congregation1 the presentation in the ,holiest of ,all1 and the blessing of the people4 ,adele leaned forward in her seat as he proceeded4 ,she had never seen it just like that before4 ,she imagined herself one of the ,jewish congregation1 with a guilty score against her which needed to be wiped out4 ,what if there were a flaw in the offering8 ,what if the priest were not acceptable1 and she were to go back with the debt uncanceled--with reconciliation not effected8 ,her mind leaped forward before the speaker could reach the point to the ,lamb without spot or blemish and the ,high ,priest who ever liveth to make intercession for ,his people4 ,was that what it meant8 ,and was it already accomplished8 ,the speaker was saying3 ,there is both correspondence and contrast here4 ,in the first case there was indeed remission of sins1 because the ,lord had covenanted to meet ,his people upon that ground4 ,but it was temporary1 and the work imperfect4 ,the taking away of sins was not actual1 but pictorial1 each sacrifice pointing forward to the effective one to come4 ,there was no vital relationship between the victim and the worshiper1 and the death of one could not be made actually good to the other4 ,nor could a new life of righteousness be imparted4 ,so the work was imperfect1 unfinished1 always looking forward to the perfect1 eternal redemption which should be wrought by the ,one who has power to impart the virtue of ,his death and the power of ,his endless life4 ,before ,adele's mind there came the vision of a vain1 empty1 earthward life4 ,but clearer still she saw the ,lamb bearing away all offenses and her hopeless coming short1 and the ,high ,priest who with perfect acceptance presented the offering of ,his blood for her4 ,why had she never seen it before8 ,oh1 what grace6 ,oh1 what a lightened soul6--to be free as a child unborn of any guilt of sins6 ,she caught her breath with a little convulsive sob and sank back in her seat1 grasping ,winifred's hand with a tight1 expressive grip4 ,she trusted herself with no words when the meeting ended1 but blinking back the tears that sparkled in her eyes made a hasty exit from the hall4 ,the days of ,mr4 ,gerald ,bond's visit to the ,grays were all happy ones4 ,hubert and ,winifred were living in a new world of revelation1 and delighted exceedingly in the help one well instructed and apt to teach was able to give them in the mystery of the faith4 ,mr4 ,gray1 too1 enjoyed his guest's presence and brought knotty questions to him daily for solution4 ,mrs4 ,gray recognized the excellent spirit that was in him1 and found herself quietly wondering more than once why the other ministers she knew did not seem equally interested in the matters of their calling when off duty1 so to speak1 but were so much at home in all the affairs of the world4 ,gerald ,bond seemed to live in the atmosphere of the holy things in which he ministered1 and ,mrs4 ,gray looked upon him with an admiration akin to awe4 ,but he was nevertheless so thoroughly a man1 of finest sympathy1 courteous1 gentle1 and withal possessed of a genial1 penetrating wit which all enjoyed1 that ,mrs4 ,gray could not simply admire him from afar1 but took him into her heart with a warm liking4 ,she looked forward with real regret to the day when the yellow-and-white room would be without its occupant4 ,hubert came in for the greater share of the young man's leisure hours1 and evening often saw them pacing the garden walks1 or lingering meditatively by its fountain1 in deepest conversation4 ,in ,hubert's soul still the question was burning1 ,lord1 what wilt ,thou have me to do8 and beyond a thin veil of time the answer was waiting him4 ,god 4 4 4 hath appointed thee to know ,his will1 and to see the ,righteous ,one1 and to hear a voice from ,his mouth4 ,for thou shalt be a witness for ,him4 ,the ,bible lectures came and went1 having no more rapt listener than ,adele ,forrester1 who marveled at the light that had come to her1 illuminating all truth that she had formally learned and recited1 and adding wondrous things out of the ,law never hinted at before4 ,when ,sunday came she went to church a true worshiper1 and sang with all her heart3 ,o sing unto the ,lord a new song ,for ,he hath done marvellous things4 ,she did not follow ,winifred's course in retiring from the choir1 and explained to her afterwards3 ,it did not seem the right thing for me1 dear1 although ,i think you did just right4 ,you see1 ,i am not a star singer1 for one thing1 and never sing solos4 ,so my temptation to show off would not be like yours with your exquisite voice4 ,though ,i do believe1 ,winifred1 she said earnestly1 that one might do that some day--sing solos1 ,i mean--with a sincere heart to the ,lord1 and not be vain about it4 ,and oh1 it would be so sweet6 ,to praise ,him with one's whole heart 'in the great congregation'--to try and tell about ,him6--but1 after all1 there is no verse chaste enough and no melody sweet enough to describe ,him6 ,oh1 ,winifred1 when ,i see ,his wounds1 and ,adele covered her eyes as though1 shutting out other things1 she could see ,him1 while her voice sank to a sob--it breaks my heart6 ,what a silly girl ,i have been--and it was for me6 ,presently she resumed3 ,when ,i sang ,sunday1 ,i remembered something that ,mr4 ,bond had said4 ,i was afraid lest some inattention or failure to just grasp and mean the sentiments ,i sang might make my worship unacceptable4 ,but ,i remembered that in the ,tabernacle service after the priest had done all he could--at the brazen altar1 and the laver1 you know1 having his heart set right and his conduct cleansed--still there was provided blood on the horns of the altar of incense beside which he worshiped4 ,after all he could do he might still need it1 ,i suppose4 ,so ,i thought that although my poor service is very imperfect1 and must come far short of what it ought to be1 at best1 still there will always be the blood and ,i shall take refuge in that4 ,winifred looked at her friend wonderingly4 ,that is very beautiful1 ,adele1 she said4 ,i am glad to see it4 ,adele's words had opened a dim vista of possibility1 very precious1 and had suggested arms wherewith to resist any shrinking self-fear or accusation that might attack her by the way4 ,but though her gift1 as ,mrs4 ,butterworth and her mother called it1 might some day be transmuted into a true gift of the ,spirit1 she felt with instinctive spiritual repugnance that its sphere of use would not be the former theater of her vanity4 ,adele might still sing in the chancel the canticles of the church1 but as for her the associations of the choir of ,doctor ,schoolman's church were far too unhallowed to admit of a return to them4 ,to her it was so clear that she wondered a little why ,adele and she should take no nearer ground as to their respective action4 ,i suppose1 she said aloud with a little perplexity1 that we must each do what seems right1 according to the clearest light we have4 ,we may not both see all the truth about anything at the same time4 ,no1 said ,adele with a decisive shake of her head1 and we can't walk by each other's consciences4 ,but talking about seeing 'all the truth' makes me think of something4 ,you know ,i was in the ,berkshire ,hills last summer8 ,well1 ,i saw ,greylock from several points of view4 ,from one it seemed a rather sharp spur2 from another it was long and obtuse2 and from the last1--when somebody pointed out an ordinary1 featureless ascent and said3 ',that's ,greylock1' ,i could scarcely believe it4 ,i imagine our views of the truth are somewhat like that4 ,it will take time to walk all around it1 ,i think4 ,i think so1 said ,winifred reflectively4 ,then if somebody had met you when you had seen but one view of the mountain1 and had described simply another-- ,we should have quarreled6 said ,adele4 ,,chapter ,,xii ,,the ,,soul ,,hears ,a ,,cause ,midsummer heat was advancing and the fashionable residents of the city where our story is located--a city not too large1 cleanly1 healthful1 and beautiful for situation--found it necessary to leave town4 ,mrs4 ,gray was among the number whose constitution demanded a change from the accustomed air and scene1 and from the round of conventional home life to the equally conventional routine of life in a summer hotel4 ,at least1 she supposed she required it4 ,and was it not the regular thing to do8 ,and had she not arranged with ,mrs4 ,dr4 ,greene long ago that they should secure quarters together in the ,loftimore ,house overlooking the blue waters of ,silverguile ,lake8 ,but when the last trunks were packed and1 gone1 and she looked around in the cool quiet of her own home1 the soft eyes were troubled and she said to ,winifred3 ,i wish ,i were not going1 dear4 ,it is a trouble1 after all4 ,and you are not going6 ,you will come for a little while1 won't you1 child8 ,and she gave her an already homesick caress4 ,winifred promised1 if it could be arranged4 ,mr4 ,gray and ,hubert both found it impossible to leave but for a short time1 and ,winifred was glad of an excuse to stay with them1 presiding in the quiet house with its summer lack of visitors and improved opportunity for her new and engrossing pursuit4 ,she would go on to know ,god better1 as she found ,him mirrored in the clear1 still waters of ,his ,word4 ,the days sped by all too rapidly4 ,adele did not leave for the summer1 and the two spent hours together1 comparing impressions and experiences and the light gained upon the ,scripture portions which they were reading simultaneously4 ,then ,winifred rehearsed to ,hubert at night their discoveries and difficulties1 and he added the wisdom given to him to their own4 ,sometimes his sister quoted to him surprisingly original and apt comments from ,adele and he wondered silently4 ,if he had wished to hear from the sensible interior1 he now did so1 and it spoke from the depths of a new spiritual insight4 ,george ,frothingham continued to pay occasional court to his ladye faire4 ,the time for his customary holidays drew near1 and as he arranged for a flying ,european trip which he had promised himself this year1 it entered his heart to close the anticipated compact with ,winifred for the life journey together4 ,very sweet were the hopes which mingled with shrewd business calculations1 and he congratulated himself on assured prospects4 ,but ,winifred was not happy when she thought of him4 ,his coming gave her pleasure always1 and it was anticipated with a shy new consciousness since the night they had read each other's hearts more certainly through the tell-tale windows of their eyes4 ,but though his coming gave her pleasure1 it left her always with a disappointment4 ,concerning the one thing that had come to be the most vital interest in her life they were not in sympathy4 ,sometimes when the beauties in ,christ ,jesus seemed most patent to her own soul1 it seemed that he must surely see them if represented to him4 ,but the mention of that ,name froze upon her lips when met with the usual bantering jest1 or indifferent acquiescence1 accompanied by a look at his watch or the sudden memory of an engagement4 ,the conviction could not be denied that a wall as thick as that of a tomb stood between them in matters of the spirit4 ,he is dead1 she confessed to herself in honest grief1 as dead as ,i was before my quickening--just as it says in the ,ephesians4 ,he makes no more response to spiritual things than would one of the people in their graves in the cemetery if ,i talked to them4 ,and what fellowship can life have with death8 ,but--but--,i love him6 ,the ,flesh cried out for the sovereignty of human love1 but the ,spirit argued for the reign of ,christ4 ,between the two the ,soul stood1 a tortured arbiter1 and heard the cause4 ,the ,spirit pleaded3 ,o ,soul1 if to you to live is ,christ1 why do you bring into your life's closest fellowship an alien to ,him8 ,why do you give the supremest place of earthly relationship1 pledging life-long loyalty and obedience1 to one whose mind is foreign--even 'enmity'--to the law of ,christ8 ,can you follow the course of life he would plan1 and still serve ,christ8 ,can two walk together except they be agreed8 ,you might win him1 the ,flesh pleaded4 ,a woman's power is very great4 ,remember he loves you4 ,i have no power now1 the ,soul ruled4 ,you might have eventually1 the ,flesh persisted4 ,the example of a godly life will win4 ,you cannot live a godly life while you walk with him1 interposed the ,spirit4 ',the friendship of the world is enmity with ,god4' ,winifred was startled4 ,that is a very strong text1 she thought4 ,but it probably doesn't mean that4 ,godly women have lived ,christian lives with very ungodly husbands4 ,but they did not walk together1 argued a voice4 ,they were only in part united4 ,in the realm of the spirit--the realm that should lead--they were divided4 ,there is encouragement held out to believing wives in the ,scripture1 suggested one who knows how to quote ,scripture for his purpose1 that they may win their unbelieving husbands by their chaste behavior4 ,there is no encouragement given to believing women to marry unbelieving men1 said the ,spirit defensively4 ,a woman whose faith finds her so united may have hope4 ,but can you expect the favor of ,god upon a mission undertaken in disobedience8 ,is it quite disobedience8 pondered ,winifred weakly4 ,i must look in the ,bible to find all ,i can about it4 ,the ,flesh resisted this course and suggested delay1 at least in searching the ,scriptures about it4 ,she might not understand the ,scriptures4 ,it would be better to ask some ,christian friend4 ,so the matter was delayed1 but not for long4 ,for the ,soul grew unhappy with the weight of a matter withheld from the clear light of the ,word1 and a mist rose between it and the face of ,christ4 ,any sorrow could be borne rather than lose vision of ,his face1 and ,winifred brought her cause at last with sobs and tears to the feet of ,him who had been crucified1 determined that ,his word should end the case at any cost4 ,then she searched the ,book with what result each ,bible student knows4 ,she found permission for a ,christian's marriage in the ,lord4 ,but the whole testimony of the ,scripture frowned darkly upon a yoking together with unbelievers2 and what yoke was closer than the one she contemplated8 ,the ,spirit said amen2 and ,winifred remembered how all her interviews with ,george ,frothingham had left her not helped at all in the way of the spirit1 but rather hindered4 ,what would be a lifelong fellowship8 ,she cast to the winds all thought of inaugurating a dubious mission for the young man's salvation through means of a forbidden fellowship1 and so the ,soul1 led by the ,spirit1 took wood and fire and repaired to the mount of sacrifice4 ,the decisive evening came1 and ,frothingham1 never more elegant nor more winning1 appeared4 ,he was not dismayed by ,winifred's unusual constraint1 for he had noticed a growing shyness and drew his own happy conclusion from it4 ,he had brought a roll of music--a new love song1 into which he poured the richness of his mellow voice while ,winifred accompanied him4 ,but her fingers trembled over the keys and she struck a false note occasionally4 ,later they were standing beneath the chandelier1 the light falling upon ,winifred's pale face1 as she answered words he had been speaking4 ,no1 ,i cannot marry you1 she said1 and her voice shrank from the words as ranch for the pain they must cause him as for her own4 ,it is impossible4 ,his handsome face clouded with surprise and alarm4 ,he pleaded1 expostulated1 reasoned1 but in vain4 ,winifred was firm1 and a certain womanly dignity hid the grief that she felt1 lest its display should afterward bring humiliating regret4 ,she told him as clearly as she could the reason why she could not become his wife1 and to his unspiritual judgment it seemed a petty cause4 ,he was accustomed to seeing a type of religion that could exist in harmony with the world1 and he did not see why the fact that ,winifred was a ,christian and had become uncommonly interested in that sort of thing should hinder her being the best of wives to a worldly man like himself4 ,they need not quarrel about it4 ,as to any scruples that might be entertained in her conscientious little head about all the gaiety he cared for1 he inwardly credited himself with skill to overcome them when once she should be his4 ,but ,winifred made it clear to him at last that the matter was unmistakably and finally settled1 and deep was his chagrin4 ,wounded pride rose with a sense of his rejection1 and he straightened his fine figure in haughty coldness4 ,very well1 he said4 ,i must abide by your decision1 and we will part4 ,we shall still be friends8 she asked timidly4 ,he did not look at the little hand she outstretched4 ,if we cannot be more than friends1 we must be less now1 he answered coldly4 ,he bade her an abrupt good-night and she watched him depart4 ,still standing where he had left her she looked through the graceful palms that from their setting of marble partially veiled the drawing-room from the hall and saw him standing1 never so handsome as now in his pale sternness1 fastidiously drawing on his gloves according to his wont4 ,her heart made a final appeal4 ,was she mad1 that she should drive him away when she loved him8 ,let her call him back6 ,love is sovereign4 ,let it rule4 ,as a very tiny object may blot out the widest view if it be near enough to the vision1 so this glittering treasure of an earthly love swung before her eyes1 and it hid the broader prospect of fair and eternal joys in ,christ4 ,command that these stones be made bread1 one had said to her ,lord when he hungered1 and the same strong and subtle one counseled now3 ,take the joy that is offered6 ,your heart will be starved and desolate if you let it go4 ,call him back6 ,almost her weak heart assented4 ,george6 the cry rose1 but it died1 mercifully1 in a whisper upon her dry lips4 ,frothingham had quite prepared himself to emerge from the house--for the last time1 probably--and he passed out1 giving no backward glance at the figure that stood beneath the light in the drawing-room4 ,winifred roused from her statue-like stillness as the door closed behind him4 ,the heavy breath of odorous flowers stole in through an open window and sickened her4 ,for years after she could not dissociate their fragrance from the sorrow of that hour4 ,she turned to the piano4 ,he had left his music--and he would never come back for it6 ,she turned away and climbed the stairs with heavy steps to her own room4 ,and there we will leave her1 where1 after the battle1 a heavenly ,visitor was to come forth with bread and wine for her refreshing4 ,,chapter ,,xiii ,,experience ,winifred's heart did not break4 ,or1 if it broke1 it was quickly healed1 for there dwelt in the house ,one whose office it is to bind up the broken-hearted4 ,it was not that she did not grieve1 or that no void cried out again and again to be filled4 ,but she learned a paradox as the days went on3 of an inexplicable peace beneath the sharpest pain1 and of a buoyant joy that would not be held down by sorrow4 ,hubert looked on1 making mental notes as to what had happened1 but asking no questions4 ,our trio of young people who had entered a life of worship found their hearts impelling them toward fields of service also4 ,winifred sought in many quiet ways to make known to others ,him whom she had come to know with such delight1 and a casual visit from ,adele one day threw light upon the occupation of the others4 ,by the way1 ,winifred1 ,miss ,forrester said1 apropos of some topic discussed1 your brother gave a splendid talk at the ,cleary ,street ,mission last night4 ,oh1 you ought to have heard him6 ,it was fine6 ,winifred opened her eyes widely4 ,hubert at the ,mission last night8 ,he never told me4 ,i suspect he doesn't let his left hand know what his right hand is doing1 suggested ,adele4 ,but he certainly was there4 ,and when ,mr4 ,mc,bride asked him to speak he promptly did so4 ,it was splendid6 ,not simply what he said1 you know1 but the fact that he said it--a business man talking in a matter-of-fact1 business way to other men of something he evidently thought the most important matter in the world4 ,of course most of the people were of a far different class from his1 but you would never guess it from his words4 ,he didn't patronize them a bit4 ,i liked that so much4 ,and you should have seen how those men fastened their eyes on him and listened to what he said4 ,how lovely6 cried ,winifred4 ,i wish ,i had been there4 ,but pray tell me1 ,adele1 how happens it that you were there8 ,oh1 ,i am a regular attendant in ,cleary ,street1 said ,adele laughing4 ,at least ,i go regularly on certain nights in the week and play the organ--a wretched1 squeaky1 little thing--and raise my voice on ,sankey hymns also4 ,you do6 cried ,winifred with a mixture of amusement1 dismay and admiration in her voice4 ,well1 ,i declare6 ,i don't see why you should be so shocked1 said ,adele1 enjoying her friend's astonishment4 ,pray1 why shouldn't ,i go8 ,do you doubt my qualifications8 ,i am not the musician you are1 dear1 but my skill is quite up to those tunes1 ,i assure you4 ,i hope you don't wear that red hat of yours and your usual stunning costumes1 ,adele8 ,it occurred to me after ,i had gone a few times1 said ,adele quietly1 that it might be well to modify my gear4 ,i think you would approve of my revised toilet4 ,it is very simple4 ,adele1 ,i know you can't help looking well1 whatever you wear1 said ,winifred1 who suddenly observed a somewhat altered gear in evidence4 ,if you should put on a ,salvation ,army bonnet it would look stylish4 ,it couldn't help itself4 ,but please tell me more about the ,mission4 ,how happened you to go at all8 ,i heard ,mr4 ,mc,bride speak at a meeting4 ,he told of the work of the ,mission1 and of the need of helpers--especially of somebody to help in the music4 ,it occurred to me that that was the kind of assistance ,i might give1 and that it would be very nice to contribute in some small way1 at least1 to the work of the ,mission4 ,and1 she continued very gravely1 ,i volunteered and was gladly accepted4 ,that is very noble1 ,i think1 said ,winifred4 ,but what did your friends think8 ,i did not ask them1 ,adele answered coolly4 ,i have fallen from caste1 anyhow1 and it doesn't matter much4 ,you know since ,i have seen the ,lord--it was ,adele's way of putting it--,i have tried to--to witness to ,him in some way or other to my old friends2 and the result has been a pretty liberal letting alone from them4 ,his name does not seem a very welcome one--outside of a church6 ,then she went on with a gleam of indignant sorrow in her bright eyes3 ,that is what breaks one's heart6 ,that these very people may kneel beside you in church and recite ,his holy name as glibly as possible2 but outside--it is unwelcome6 ,winifred1 can it be a ,christian life at all into any avenue of which ,christ is an intrusion8 ,oh1 if they loved ,him--if they had ever seen ,him at all6--they would be so glad of any mention of ,him6 ,after a moment a gleam of amused memory succeeded ,adele's pained outburst4 ,she went on3 ,the other night ,i think ,i reached the climax of my fall into disfavor4 ,you know these summer evenings at the ,mission we take the organ and hymn books and go out before the door and have a street meeting4 ,well1 on this occasion our open-air meeting was in full swing and our usual score of auditors were lined up in the gutters and everywhere to hear4 ,mr4 ,mc,bride had announced ',the best ,friend to have is ,jesus1' and was himself swinging his arms and singing lustily1 while ,i played and pumped the panting little instrument and sang as loudly as ,i could1 too4 ,suddenly there turned down the street a handsome automobile 7,i don't know why1 for they never go down that street7 and in it the ,misses ,steele and ,miss ,proudfeather from ,baltimore4 ,to crown it all1 with them was seated my precious ,cousin ,dick6 ,our poor little crowd huddled aside to let them pass4 ,they all saw me and ,dick took off his hat with great ceremony2 but the ladies evidently thought they would spare me the mortification of a recognition under the circumstances4 ,i couldn't help laughing within myself1 though it was a bit embarrassing4 ,dick was hilarious over it4 ,he evidently sees nothing improper in it1 but a very good joke4 ,he says he expects to hear me preaching there yet4 ,i told him it might be to his benefit if he did4 ,both laughed4 ,but just think1 ,adele1 said ,winifred1 how infinitely better to be in that little street crowd with the ,lord1 than driving about in the finest motor car without ,him6 ,yes6 cried ,adele1 ,i wouldn't trade places for worlds6 ,i should think not1 said ,winifred1 with scorn of the idea4 ,adele was finding out1 like her friend1 that the way of the cross brings separation1 and she had her own peculiar tests as to faithful witnessing4 ,her merry-hearted cousin drew her out in words more frequently than any other1 and plied her with questions concerning this new type of religion4 ,it's no new sort of religion at all1 she insisted4 ,it's just the old sort you read of in the ,new ,testament--and the prayer-book6 ,only ,i am afraid ,i never really had it before--or it had not really got me4 ,if people would only be sincere1 ,dick1 you would find it is the same sort4 ,i do not think the ordinary sort is much good1 said ,dick1 with the air of a connoisseur in religions4 ,it was to be lamented that the present incumbent at ,st4 ,john's had not met with the young man's very hearty favor4 ,the freshly introduced intoning struck him humorously4 ,he imitated it in ordinary remarks about the house4 ,where's--my--hat8 he inquired in a whining chant1 after the manner of the unfortunate rector's plaintively intoned ,let us pray4 ,adele1 always alive to the ridiculous1 laughed2 but still she wished he would not be irreverent4 ,the way we go through the service1 said ,dick1 is so as to relieve it of as much sense as possible4 ,no wonder some of us turn out hypocrites4 ,but you don't1 ,adele4 ,however1 ,i'll reserve my estimate of your case till we see how you hold out at your new gait4 ,so ,dick watched the new gait1 and ,adele prayed that it might be a walk worthy of the ,lord4 ,meantime ,hubert was pursuing his study of divinity in a normal way--with an open ,bible and the ,spirit of the ,author to interpret4 ,he sought also the fellowship of ,his people and deep was his perplexity as he found into how many countless sects the one body had been divided4 ,very contrary to the ,bible it seemed1 but very helplessly he stood before the fact that seemed as hopeless of remedy as of denial4 ,what ought he1 one unit among the whole1 to do about it8 ,kindly people sought to draw him into their various fellowships1 and he peered into their folds and sought to find the place where his ,lord was most honored and ,his presence most manifest4 ,he found old churches1 great and cold1 whose service moved with slumbrous calm1 and his ardent soul was chilled4 ,he found others where activity bristled and cheerfulness prevailed1 but where the world held court as obvious as in the market square2 and from these he turned away with a still sharper grief4 ,he found other congregations built in strife and schism1 but with some fragrance still of the name of ,jesus ,christ1 and rejoiced that ,he was preached4 ',they feared the ,lord and served their own gods1' he said to himself1 as almost everywhere he saw the strange mingling of worship of the true ,god with the too patent service of the gods of pleasure and of wealth4 ,he found little companies1 gathered in protest from shameless worldliness or infidel denial of the ,lord1 and with them he had sympathy1 but still looked hungrily for a fuller expression of the truth than they offered4 ,he found himself in companies where correct1 punctilious statements of the truth abounded1 and where the most careful zeal sought to restore an apostolic order of worship4 ,but he found that the statements grew dry and juiceless in their formal exactness1 and that prescribed form could not insure the animating ,spirit without which it was as useless as the phylacteries of the ,pharisees4 ,he concluded that truth was deeper and fresher than any definitions of it1 as the fountain excels the cistern2 and that life was sovereign over form1 though in form it embody itself4 ,he found perfection nowhere4 ,after a disappointing meeting1 the climax of a series of experiences in which arguments from various schools of doctrine had jostled against each other1 and the varying phases of practice1 emotional1 anti-emotional1 informal and ritualistic1 with the intervening shades of difference1 had presented themselves1 he stood in the veranda at home with ,winifred and described to her the procession of rival claims which a divided church presents to a ,christian man's adherence1 and ended with the question3 ,where shall we find the truth1 ,winifred8 ,in ,christ1 she answered simply4 ,you are right1 wise little sister1 he said admiringly4 ,and there we will look for it4 ,he turned from his quest for perfection in any detachment of the church and sought the place where ,god would have him1 not alone for the green pasture to be found but for the testimony to be given4 ,deeper lessons were learned as time advanced--lessons of grace as well as truth4 ,keen discrimination was tempered by love toward that ,body which1 though distorted and maimed1 was still beloved by her ,lord1 and though besieged by error was still the pillar and ground of the truth4 ,,chapter ,,xiv ,a ,,witless1 ,,worthless ,,lamb ,the air at ,silverguile ,lake did not altogether agree with ,mrs4 ,gray4 ,rheumatic damps rose from the water1 and the mornings were chilly and uncomfortable4 ,the inane round of dressing1 eating1 appearing in the veranda1 taking the daily drive1 and other mild etcetera1 grew irksome2 and1 beyond all1 the faces of the dear ones at home were longed for4 ,winifred came for a few days1 and then the place brightened like a cloudy day that surprises the world with sunshine at its close4 ,mrs4 ,gray was far from well when the home journey was undertaken1 and ,winifred looked at her with apprehension4 ,but they traveled comfortably and reached home in the evening where welcome waited4 ,but an alarming chill overtook the mother before she had retired that night1 and the doctor was hastily summoned4 ,the chill was a harbinger of serious illness1 and the cheerful house became shrouded in dread of coming sorrow4 ,winifred devoted herself eagerly to her mother1 but professional skill was needed also4 ,the telephone rang frequent calls from the office during the anxious days to inquire for the loved patient1 and life for the time was enveloped in the one painful query3 ,will mother live8 ,the doctor gave sparing reports1 but careful directions4 ,winifred moved about the house with a pale face and frightened eyes1 until the doctor told her that she evidently needed his services also1 and that she must not let her mother see her with that face4 ,then she fled to her room and poured out her pitiful need to ,god1 and begged ,his grace for calm and cheerfulness4 ,with unfailing faithfulness ,he gave her what she asked1 and she went back to minister with ,him at hand to help4 ,winnie1 dear1 is that you8 said a faint voice from the bed4 ,yes1 mother4 ,come here1 dear1 let me look at you4 ,winifred went and sat beside her where they could look into each other's faces4 ,dear1 do you think ,i am very ill8 ,does the doctor say so8 ,he has not said much1 mother4 ,but he is taking every care4 ,yes1 ,i see4 ,what do you think1 child8 ,i do not know1 mother4 ,but we hope you are getting on as well as possible4 ,winnie1 said she again1 and her voice came with difficulty1 ,i think ,i am very ill4 ,i have had sickness before1 but not like this4 ,things seem slipping away4 ,winifred's eyes filled with tears1 but she forced them back4 ,do not think that1 mother1 she pleaded4 ,they are all slipping away1 insisted the sick woman4 ,every one--father1 ,hubert1 you--everyone--everything ,i know--all slipping away4 ,winifred looked to her invisible ,companion in an agony of entreaty for her mother4 ,presently ,mrs4 ,gray's voice again arose plaintively from the pillow3 ,i am afraid--,i am afraid1 ,winnie4 ,i don't know--the things ahead6 ,these1--and her poor hands closed themselves over the counterpane as though they would try to hold the tangible1 known things--are slipping away1 and ,i--am afraid4 ,god never slips away1 whispered ,winifred4 ,no8 queried the mother4 ,but ,i--can't--see ,him6 ,i don't--know ,him4 ,so the secret1 before unconfessed and unrealized1 came out at last4 ,she did not know ,him4 ,the church1 the service1 the minister1--the external routine of a nominally ,christian life1 all was slipping away into a mist of past that could not be retained4 ,and now the soul stood1 a terror-stricken stranger1 before the things not known4 ,i am afraid1 repeated the faint voice4 ,winifred longed for words of comfort1 but they did not seem at hand4 ,the white-robed nurse came into the room with a little air of professional authority4 ,i think our patient should not talk any more just now1 she said1 and ,winifred retired4 ,she met ,hubert in the hall and drew him to her own little sitting-room1 where they pleaded with ,god together for the eternal comfort of the beloved sufferer4 ,evening came and ,winifred was again by her mother's side4 ,winifred1 said the gentle voice1 stronger to-night for the increased fever4 ,yes1 dear mother8 ,winnie1 dear1 would you be afraid if--if you were ill--like me8--if you were going to-- ,to die1 she was about to say1 but she could not speak the word4 ,she shivered instead1 as though a cold wind had struck her4 ,winifred did not wait for the unwelcome word4 ,no--,i think not1 mother1 she said simply4 ,why not8 ,is it not dark--what we do not know8 ,but ,i know ,god1 said ,winifred earnestly1 and ,jesus ,christ4 ,and they are there--in the things we cannot see4 ,the ,apostle ,paul said1 ',for me to live is ,christ2 to die is gain4' ,the words brought no comfort4 ',to live is ,christ1' repeated the sick one musingly4 ,if that were so--8 she was silent for a few moments1 and then broke out hopelessly3 ,no1 no6 ,to live has not been ,christ6 ,it has been myself1 and you all1 and these things6 ,it is not gain to die6 ,it is loss6--loss6--loss of everything ,i know6 ,her voice rose excitedly1 and her glistening fevered eyes looked about restlessly4 ,winifred feared that the nurse would come1 and finding her worse1 end the interview4 ,so she prayed that ,god would calm the dear patient and give them both ,his needed grace for the hour4 ,and ,he heard4 ,let me straighten your pillow1 mother dear1 she said1 and suited the action to the word4 ,her mother clasped the deft hands that arranged things so comfortably1 and looked long with yearning fondness into her daughter's face4 ,winnie1 she said finally1 could you sing just a little for me8 ,winifred choked back a sob that tried to escape4 ,i will try1 she said4 ,she brought a little stringed instrument that her mother loved1 with which she sometimes accompanied her songs4 ,what shall ,i sing8 she asked1 seating herself beside the bed4 ,i don't know1 hesitated her mother4 ,would you like that little ,scotch song from ,sankey's book8 ,oh1 yes4 ,that is very sweet4 ,so ,winifred began the plaintive words3 ,i am far frae my hame1 an' ,i'm weary aftenwhiles ,for the langed-for hame bringin' an' my ,faither's welcome smiles4 ,she began with a stern watch upon her own emotions4 ,but1 as she proceeded1 from the sadness of the hour rose a longing in her soul for the ain countrie where no blight of death and tears are known1 and it poured itself out in the song4 ,she sang two of the long stanzas4 ,i've ,his guid word o' promise that some gladsome day the ,king ,to ,his ain royal palace ,his banished hame will bring4 ,wi' heart and wi' een rinnin' ower we shall see ,the ,king in a' ,his beauty in oor ain countrie4 ,like a bairn to its mither1 a wee birdie to its nest1 ,i wad fain be agangin' noo unto my ,saviour's breast2 ,for ,he gathers in ,his bosom witless1 worthless lambs like me1 ,an' carries them ,himself to ,his ain countrie4 ,mrs4 ,gray had been lying with closed eyes through which the tears forced their way4 ,now she interrupted3 ,what does it say1 ,winifred8 ',he gathers in ,his bosom8' ,please sing those lines again4 ,so ,winifred repeated3 ',for ,he gathers in ,his bosom witless1 worthless lambs like me1 ,and carries them ,himsel' to ,his ain countrie4' ,thank you6 murmured the invalid with a sigh4 ,is it true1 ,winnie8 ,yes1 mother1 it is quite true4 ,that is what--,i have been4 ,she was speaking again with difficulty1 and her voice was very low1 so that ,winifred leaned forward to listen4 ,i've been--a 'witless1 worthless lamb6' ,will ,he--gather--me8 ,i know ,he will--if you trust ,him6 ,how do you know1 ,winnie8 ,there is the ,scripture1 mother4 ,there is the parable of the lost sheep1 and then there is another word2 ',all we1 like sheep1 have gone astray2 we have turned everyone to his own way2 and the ,lord hath laid on ,him the iniquity of us all4' ,after a moment the weak voice spoke again3 ,winnie1 you know ,him2 will you pray8 ,tell ,him--,i've taken--my own way1--a 'witless1 worthless lamb6' ,winifred slipped to her knees beside the bed and prayed2 prayed with the greatest thankfulness she had ever known because she knew ,god1 and prayed for the dearest object for which she had made request4 ,she reminded ,god with great simplicity that ,he had laid the iniquity of us all who have wandered on ,his ,anointed ,one1 and begged ,him to make good the virtue of that act to her poor mother4 ,and the dying lady listened1 and believed4 ,dear mother1 said ,winifred fondly1 do you not see that ,he will gather you8 ,mrs4 ,gray's head had sunk back contentedly in the pillows4 ,she smiled faintly4 ,yes1 ,i see it now1 she said4 ,it is very true4 ,in a few moments she was asleep1 and the nurse resumed her watch4 ,but later in the night a quiet alarm summoned the little household to her chamber1 and they watched for the moment of parting between the spirit and its fair tenement4 ,before it came she opened her eyes1 and looked at them placidly4 ,her lips moved1 and ,winifred bent forward eagerly to catch their words4 ,i--am--not--afraid' they pronounced1 and then closed their witness for this world forever4 ,the death of ,mrs4 ,gray brought the first great sorrow to the house of ,robert ,gray4 ,it did its work in the heart of each who remained4 ,it smote the husband with a conviction of misspent years1 of a united fellowship in the things that perish so miserably instead of in those things which remain when all else is shaken4 ,had he but led his gentle wife1 as was his opportunity1 in ways of the ,spirit1 how different might have been their record together4 ,and now the end had come for one1 with no abundant entrance1 no glad prospect of long-anticipated joys1 ,where the eye at last beholdeth ,what the heart has loved so long1 but with the negative testimony of a fear relieved--of wrath averted1 through the grace of a longsuffering ,god4 ,they had been guilty together of the capital sin of an earth-centered life2 and now the iron merchant1 elder of the church though he was1 awoke from his long dream of money getting and of earthly comfort to the reality of ,god1 and of his obligation as a redeemed soul to ,him4 ,there crept an unfamiliar note of yearning sincerity into the prayers wherewith he took his heretofore formal part in the church prayer meeting1 and it almost perceptibly thinned the frozen crust of the icily regular service4 ,the men in his business noticed a new softness in his manner1 and sometimes it emboldened them to speak to him of their own cares and sorrows1 and they found sympathy4 ,hubert grieved for his mother with the strength of an intense1 reticent nature4 ,but1 as did also his sister1 he found solace in ,god4 ,winifred felt very keenly her mother's loss1 missing the vanished hand from every part of the house where she now assumed her place1 seeing everywhere reminders of her dainty touch and quiet taste1 and longing for her voice yet more and more as the days went by4 ,this great bereavement came so closely on the separation from one whom she never mentioned now1 but who was far from forgotten1 that often her heart seemed torn between the two sorrows4 ,sometimes waves of disheartenment came on cloudy days of testing1 when the sun was hidden and life looked cheerless and hard4 ,but anon the face of ,jesus ,christ broke through the clouds1 and with the vision came always joy4 ,the three who were left drew more closely to each other1 and despite their sorrow found a sweetness of comfort together never known before4 ,,chapter ,,xv ,,sell ,,that ,,ye ,,have ,three years had passed1 and the snows of winter had lain heavily for weeks upon all the region surrounding ,new ,laodicea4 ,it spread soft mantles over lawns and roofs in the city1 and only in the streets was its white purity turned by the traffic of man into vileness4 ,on a sharp1 clear morning ,hubert ,gray walked through the cutting air toward his office1 and meditated thus3 ,what am ,i doing8 ,what is the occupation that employs so much of my waking time and the powers that ,god has given me8 ',diligent in business1' the ,scripture says4 ,yes1 ,i am certainly that1 but what is it all for8 ,i am trading in iron1 as my father has done1 and laying up treasure on earth4 ,that is something--the laying up treasure on earth--that the ,lord ,jesus said not to do4 ,but did ,he really mean it8 ,nobody takes it very literally1 ,i suppose4 ',sell that ye have and give alms4' ,that is what ,i read this morning4 ',make for yourselves purses which wax not old1 a treasure in the heavens that faileth not4' ,how much does it mean8 ,we cannot always press the words of the ,lord to their utmost literal meaning4 ,i suppose ,he used language a great deal as we do1 to be taken at its face value1 and not screwed and pressed and tortured into literal exactness until all the spirit is taken out of it8 ,but these words sound very bald and unequivocal4 ,i wish ,i knew what they meant4 ,would ,i act on them if ,i did8 ,there's the rub4 ,it is undoubtedly hard for a man with money to look at the matter disinterestedly4 ,and ,jesus said1 ',how hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of ,god6' ,but if a man wishes to know how to interpret these words1 ,i suppose he may consider other words of the ,lord and their evident interpretation and find a rule4 ,for instance1 ,he said1 ',labor not for the meat which perisheth1 but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life4' ,he evidently did not literally mean not to labor for daily bread1 for that is something we are told to do4 ',work with your hands1 that ye may 4 4 4 have need of nothing1' it says4 ,and1 ',if any will not work1 neither let him eat'2 and again1 ',that with quietness they work1 and eat their own bread4' ,so that is clear enough4 ,apparently what ,he meant was to emphasize the supreme need of the other kind of food--'the meat that endures unto everlasting life4' ,the one pales into such insignificance--into nothingness6--compared with the other1 that ,he puts ,his hand over it--,he puts it out of sight completely1 and says1 ',look at this6 ,this is the supreme thing1 the one thing needful6' ,hubert grew enthusiastic as he meditated the meaning of the text and the supreme need4 ,he walked faster1 and trod the snowy walk emphatically4 ,what a splendid text6 he thought4 ,if ,i go to the mission to-night perhaps ,i shall speak from it4 ',labor not 4 4 4 but for'--ah6 that word 'labor1' as applied in the second phrase needs explaining also1 and ,jesus did explain it4 ',this is the work of ,god1 that ye believe on ,him whom ,he hath sent4' ,that is 'labor' for the living bread--to believe on ,him6 ,but he returned to his former consideration4 ',sell that ye have and give alms4' ,i wonder if the principle in the other text will apply to that8 ,did ,he mean1 not literally that they were to sell all and give1 but rather to emphasize the supreme importance of the treasure in heaven8 ,did ,he push aside one and bring forward the other1 saying1 ',look at this6 ,let go the other1 and lay hold of this4 ,lift up your eyes to the kingdom it is your ,father's good pleasure to give you4 ,take stock in that4 ,little flock1 you are so very rich yonder1 you can afford to give up what you have here4 ,give to the poor that have no treasure here1 and perhaps none yonder4' ,ah1 but my paraphrasing has not led me far from the literalness of the text6 ,and how beautiful it is6 ,that ,man of ,glory1 ',heir of all things1' poor for a little while for our sakes1 counseling ,his little flock to follow for a brief season in the steps of ,his poverty1 laying up more abundant treasure in ,his eternal kingdom6 ,by this time ,hubert had reached his place of business and was stumbling over the office boy in the hall4 ,when alone in his office1 at his desk1 he leaned his head upon his hands and prayed3 ,o ,lord1 teach me what those ,scriptures mean that ,i may obey them4 ,save me from the bias of self-interest4 ,help me to live by the understanding ,i had with ,thee at the outset of our walk together4 ,what may ,i do to please ,thee8 ,my time and my energies are ,thine1 for ,i am bought with a price4 ,thou seest my possessions4 ,what shall ,i do with them8 ,he lifted his head with a lightened heart4 ,he will show me what to do1 he thought4 ,that day at lunch ,hubert propounded a question to his father4 ,father1 said he1 what do you think ,jesus meant by saying1 ',sell that ye have and give alms8' ,mr4 ,gray reflected4 ,hm6 he observed1 eh--well-- then1 with a sly twinkle as though rather enjoying a coat that fitted tightly1 it doesn't sound very obscure1 does it8 ,the language is simple4 ,what would you think it meant8 ,that is a point ,i am studying4 ,if a man came to it without prejudice or self-interest1 it would seem very simple1 ,i imagine4 ,but ,i am not sure that it should be pressed to absolute literalness4 ,but1 granted that it means something1 was it of limited application1 or would ,christ say the same thing to ,his followers to-day8 ,well1 said ,mr4 ,gray1 whose theological studies had been greatly stimulated in recent months1 and who had fallen into the hands of a variety of teachers1 you know some people draw pretty fine distinctions now-a-days4 ,they may tell us that that does not belong to the church4 ,i shouldn't wonder a bit if some of them would slip this over our heads and let it fall on some other people4 ,but ,i should say1 if you ask me1 that such a principle1 if it applied to anybody1 might certainly to us2 that if heavenly-mindeduess could be enjoined upon any it might certainly upon those who are raised and seated with ,christ in heavenly places4' ,i think you are right1 father4 ,but now1 just what is the principle--what is the true spirit of the text8 ,in short1 what are we to do about it8 ,mr4 ,gray looked at his son curiously before replying4 ,was it for the sake of doing the word that he pondered its meaning8 ,to expound a text and to act upon it were two separate things4 ,the former was sometimes the pleasanter task4 ,but he answered honestly3 ,i suppose the true way to understand a ,scripture is to read it in its relation to other ,scripture--in the light of every other ,scripture4 ,i confess ,i have not so studied it4 ,and1 he added cautiously1 one must be very sure of the meaning of a word before he acts upon it4 ,certainly1 said ,hubert4 ,then he added privately that they had not waited to understand the text before proceeding to pile up treasure upon earth in abundance4 ,i intend to look up the subject1 he said aloud1 and see what the ,bible really does teach about it2 that is1 what the ,new ,testament says4 ,i suppose if we searched the ,old ,testament we should find earthly prosperity guaranteed the ,lord's people on the ground of obedience4 ,but we are under the new covenant1 with heavenly riches assured4 ,just so--just so1 murmured ,mr4 ,gray4 ,the next morning the subject was renewed4 ,i have found1 father1 said ,hubert1 that the apostolic church did precisely what ,jesus had told ,his flock to do4 ,they sold what they had4 ,it was an effect of the coming of the ,holy ,spirit4 ,i suppose the heavens were so opened through that illumination that earthly possessions shriveled into nothingness by comparison4 ,what precept alone could never have power to do the entrance of the ,spirit did4 ,it turned out the love of the world and 'the things that are in the world4' ,an enthusiastic light glowed in ,hubert's face as he spoke4 ,his father eyed him curiously as on the day before4 ,just so--just so1 he replied1 absently4 ,presently1 however1 he rallied to the discussion4 ,but1 ,hubert1 he said1 do you remember what they did with the proceeds of their sales8 ,yes1 said ,hubert1 they laid them at the feet of the ,apostles1 and distribution was made to the needs of all the company4 ,that was not an indiscriminate alms-giving1 said ,mr4 ,gray4 ,no1 replied ,hubert4 ,but the parting with their possessions of those who had property supplied the need of those who had none4 ,that could be called alms-giving1 ,i should think4 ,that seemed to be confined to the church1 said ,mr4 ,gray meditatively4 ,yes1 said ,hubert1 and when a beggar solicited alms of ,peter and ,john1 they had nothing to give him6 ,no--,i beg pardon--they had much to give him1 through the 'riches in glory4' ,they gave him ability to make his own living1 which was far better than an alms4 ,but is there not some other ,scripture that will tell us the relative positions of the church and the world to us in our giving8 ,i think so1 said ,mr4 ,gray4 ,how is this8 ',as we have opportunity let us do good unto all men1 especially unto them who are of the household of faith4' ,that is to the point1 said ,hubert4 ,but to return to the ,pentecostal precedent1 said ,mr4 ,gray2 if we were to sell out1 at whose feet would you propose laying the proceeds8 ,he looked slyly at ,hubert4 ,at ,doctor ,schoolman's8 ,never1 said ,hubert1 and then he laughed4 ,i beg the gentleman's pardon for my emphasis1 he said1 but it never would occur to me to turn over my money to him4 ,mr4 ,gray smiled4 ,he felt that he had scored a good point against any rash procedure in the matter of possessions4 ,at whose feet1 then1 he persisted1 would you think to lay it down8 ,there's the rub1 said ,hubert grimly4 ,ah1 just so1 said his father4 ,there was silence for a few moments and then ,mr4 ,gray began again3 ,those early conditions at ,jerusalem have never been reproduced since they were broken up by the scattering of the church1 and ,i do not remember any hint in the ,epistles to the ,churches that there should be an effort to establish a similar communism in any place4 ,no8 said ,hubert4 ,i shall search farther and see what they do say4 ,and he did4 ,a less disinterested disciple would not have pressed such a vigorous search toward an end that might mean his own monetary disadvantage4 ,but a supreme longing to know the will of ,god and to do it was master of the situation4 ,moreover he remembered the vision of the cross that stood at the outset of his ,christian way1 and the terms of complete abandonment of himself and his circumstances to which he consented in his heart4 ,he pursued diligent and business-like methods in his study4 ,with the aid of a concordance he found and tabulated what the ,gospels had to say about money1 gold1 silver1 goods1 riches and treasure1 words that might serve as clews to discover the mind of ,god in the matter he searched out4 ,also he read carefully the ,epistles to see what1 in the more settled state of the church1 was enjoined after the dissolving of the community at ,jerusalem4 ,his thoughtful study involved the spare hours of many days1 and he emerged from it with certain convictions which were not likely soon to be shaken4 ,he set his arguments in order with a deliberation and logic with which a lawyer might prepare his brief4 ,his leading conclusions as to the teaching of the ,scriptures on the subject were somewhat as follows3 ,first1 that the possession of riches is a disadvantage to a man as to his entering the kingdom of heaven4 ,indeed1 that it would render it impossible but for the grace of ,god with whom all things are possible4 ,second1 that the teaching of the ,lord ,jesus placed the seeking of worldly goods in utter contempt and disregard as compared with heavenly riches4 ,indeed1 they might well be abandoned for the sake of that treasure4 ,that even the necessities of life were not the things to be anxiously sought1 but were guaranteed by ,god in response to the diligent1 first-in-order1 whole-hearted seeking of ,his kingdom and righteousness4 ,that this teaching1 however1 was guarded against misinterpretation by practical instructions in the ,epistles to work for honest support and in order to have to give4 ,third1 that an instant effect of the coming of the ,holy ,spirit was a practical illustration of that disdain of earthly goods inculcated by the teaching of the ,lord ,jesus2 and the result was not the want of any1 for neither was there among them any that lacked4 ,fourth1 that that striking example1 set at the head of the age as an object-lesson for its entire course1 was not literally followed by the ,churches subsequently formed1 but its principle was carried forward to them also1 ,paul enjoining an equality1 saying to the ,corinthians1 ,your abundance being a supply at this present time for their want1 that their abundance also may become a supply for your want2 that there may be equality4 ,fifth1 that the giving up of possessions at ,pentecost was spontaneous and voluntary1 not forced2 and the subsequent giving was to be not a legal necessity1 but as the heart inclined4 ,the flavor of delight to ,god would be lost if otherwise4 ,the giving would have value in ,his eyes only as it was done1 not of necessity1 but cheerfully4 ,hubert reviewed the articles of his newly formed financial creed1 feeling that it was far from exhaustive1 but that its principles must help to clear his vision as to the attitude a ,christian man should take toward this world's gain4 ,from the whole trend of the teaching he gathered that the true ,gospel of ,christ demanded a complete reversal of the generally accepted rudiments of worldly thrift1 and that its key word for the use of money was not get1 but give4 ,sometimes he hesitated and turned pale before a radical step which he found his heart prompting1 and again he looked at the possessions now in his own right and was glad he had so much to place at the absolute disposal of the ,lord he loved4 ,it is not a necessity1 he said4 ,i may do as ,i will4 ,and ,i will to do that which will serve ,him best4 ,he read the text1 ,ye know the grace of our ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 that1 though he was rich1 yet for your sakes ,he became poor1 that ye through ,his poverty might be rich4 ,tears1 to which his eyes were unused1 made them glisten for a moment4 ,ah1 if through my poverty some might be made forever rich6 he thought4 ,how to put in practice what he desired to do became a problem4 ,he went to his office with the sense of a new relationship to its business4 ,a new ,proprietor sat at the desk with him1 and1 afraid to act rashly1 on ,him he wisely waited for the clear instructions which should show how best ,his interests might be served4 ,the new ,proprietor looked on him and saw a man triumphing where the multitude of essaying disciples fail3 not in lofty ideals1 not in emotional experiences1 not in grand works undertaken2 but in the prosiest1 hardest spot--albeit the touchstone of many a man's consecration--the money question4 ,,chapter ,,xvi ,,the ,,missionary ,,meeting ,it was early summer when the ,women's ,foreign ,missionary ,society of ,doctor ,schoolman's church was to have a public meeting4 ,on ,sunday the faithful calendar announced it1 and ,doctor ,schoolman made special mention of it1 urging attendance4 ,a missionary home on furlough was to exercise a part of his well-earned rest in addressing the meeting4 ,it was to be held in the afternoon1 but it was suggested that as many men of the congregation as possible unite with the ladies in giving welcome to one who had distinguished himself by faithful and valuable service on the foreign field4 ,the announcement was discussed in the ,gray household and ,hubert determined to join ,winifred in attendance4 ,not that ,i believe much in it1 he said1 when here all about us1 and especially in our large cities1 there are plenty of objects for our commiseration quite as wretched1 undoubtedly1 as those in foreign countries4 ,no doubt1 said ,winifred4 ,it always seemed to me to be looking rather far afield for something to do4 ,however1 the two determined to hear the voice from ,china4 ,wednesday1 the day for the meeting1 came1 and ,hubert left work in time to join ,winifred on her way4 ,they found the lecture-room of the church rather better filled than was usual at a missionary meeting1 but only a few gentlemen were present4 ,winifred had time to observe some of the faces about her before the meeting began4 ,she knew the ,secretary1 a woman with a keen1 earnest face1 always active in good works1 and indefatigable in her efforts to excite a generally indifferent church into some glow of interest in the missionary cause4 ,there were a few other faces as interested as her own4 ,hubert saw the plain little body he had singled out at the church social as one who perhaps would find it a pleasure to talk about the ,lord4 ,her eyes looked expectantly toward the quiet looking man who came in with ,doctor ,schoolman4 ,the ,president1 rather new to her office1 fingered her jeweled watch-chain nervously as she opened the meeting4 ,the company sang ,from ,greenland's ,icy ,mountains1 and ,doctor ,schoolman offered prayer4 ,the ,secretary read the minutes of the previous meeting--a ,thank-offering meeting--and it was discovered that the sum of #ij had been realized4 ,the ladies exchanged glances of satisfaction at the amount4 ,hm-m6 ,their combined thanks foot up to that1 thought ,hubert4 ,he was a business man and must be forgiven such a practical view of the case4 ,the ,lord must be gratified6 ,i feel1 ladies1 said the ,president1 pushing a diamond ring up and down upon her finger anxiously1 very much pleased that our poor gifts have amounted to so much4 ,we cannot all do what we would1 but we may give our mites1 and together they will count for something in the work4 ,we cannot tell what these ninety dollars may mean to the heathen4 ,their mites6 thought ,hubert1 with something of his old-time irony4 ,he was freshly instructed on the subject of money1 and knew well the story of the widows' mites4 ,if ,mrs4 ,greenman herself had given the ninety dollars1 ,i should think she was beginning to feel a tinge of gratitude for something4 ,winifred had fastened her brown eyes musingly upon the ,president4 ,she was wondering if money might express thanks1 and1 if so1 how much would appropriately suggest her own gratitude to ,god for ,his unspeakable gift4 ,no gift would be large enough1 she thought1 and then the familiar lines came to her mind3 ,were the whole realm of nature mine1 ,that were a present far too small2 ,love so amazing1 so divine1 ,demands my soul1 my life1 my all4 ,how true that is1 she thought4 ,but ,i suppose it is nice to give some token1 even though one cannot adequately express one's thanks4 ,there were some other reports and then the leading alto from the choir sang3 ,there is a green hill far away4 ,i am sure we are all glad1 said the ,president1 to have with us ,mr4 ,hugh ,carew from ,china1 who has labored for years among the heathen there4 ,we shall be pleased to hear him tell us something of his work4 ,and ,mr4 ,hugh ,carew began4 ,he was a man uninteresting to look upon1 save that his face wore a certain indefinable expression of a man who has been a stranger in many places2 a man habituated to loneliness and to silence4 ,but he was evidently a man also accustomed to speak1 for he addressed his audience with easy grace4 ,the pleasure is mine1 he said1 in being able to present to your interest and sympathy the dearest object of the heart of ,god4 ,hubert started to hear the man's work1 as he thought1 thus spoken of4 ,mr4 ,carew went on3 ,of course ,i refer not to my simple share in it1 but to ,god's great work of salvation in all lands4 ,ah1 that is what he means1 thought ,hubert1 and repeated to himself--the dearest object of ,god's heart6 ,you may question my definition of that work1 said ,mr4 ,carew1 but a moment's reflection will convince you that it is true4 ,we may measure the object's value by the price expended for it4 ,for what other than the dearest object would ,god have been willing to give ,his most priceless treasure--the ,son of ,his love8 ,you will pardon my giving some attention to the fundamental facts of our common salvation before speaking specifically of the work in which ,i have had a part for some years in ,china4 ,my apology is this3 that wherever the returned missionary goes1 even among ,god's people1 he finds himself obliged to defend his work to some who regard it as an impractical and self-devised effort at doing good1 rather than the simple carrying out of the expressed will of ,god4 ,we have to go back to first principles and inquire afresh3 ',what is the will of ,god8' ,that sounds sensible1 thought ,hubert1 who loved to hear vital principles discussed4 ,some very simple1 well-worn texts will serve for our brief study1 said ,mr4 ,carew4 ,first there is that comprehensive passage1 familiarly known and quoted in all evangelical circles3 ',for ,god so loved the world that ,he gave ,his only begotten ,son1 that whosoever believeth in ,him should not perish1 but have everlasting life4' ,the words that ,i wish to emphasize especially are two3--'the world4' ,they show you the scope of ,god's love and gift4 ,he loved 'the world1' not some favored race within it4 ,and love1 which cannot rest inactive1 gave2 gave according to its own measure--',his only begotten ,son4' ,we cannot be otherwise than agreed that this love and this gift were for all1 and so must include my poor ,china4 ,indeed1 could you divide ,god's love arithmetically 7it is a foolish way to put it--you cannot divide infinity67 then my friends over there might claim about one-fifth of it1 ,i suppose1 as they number about that proportion of the world's population4 ,the ladies smiled indulgently at the curious way of putting it1 but were not yet persuaded in their hearts that so considerable a portion of the love of ,god could be diverted from their own delightfully engrossing race1 not to ,china alone1 but to other peoples also1 as would follow by that kind of arithmetic4 ,let the missionary talk4 ,it would still be as obvious to their consciousness as the glittering pompon on ,mrs4 ,greenman's bonnet that themselves were the consistent and natural monopolists of the favor of their ,creator6 ,but ,mr4 ,carew went on3 ,we may find our two very illuminating little words in another text almost equally familiar4 ,it is this3 ',behold the ,lamb of ,god which taketh away the sin of the world4' ,this lets us farther into ,god's attitude and purpose concerning 'the world4' ,loving all ,his creatures1 ,he still saw that they were involved in ruin brought on by sin4 ,if ,he brought them to ,himself--the only event that could satisfy love--it must be by a great and costly ,redemption4 ,one emanating from ,himself must be projected into the ruin and death of the world and come back to ,him1 spotless and unsullied1 bringing with ,him 'many sons' unto the glory4 ,but ,he must purge their sins4 ,so ,he gave ,him to be a ,lamb of sacrifice2 that ,he taking the sins of the world upon ,him1 might work in ,himself a death unto sin that should be made good to all that become united to ,him4 ,potentially1 then1 the sin of 'the world' is taken away4 ,if we wish to support further this point in our study concerning 'the world' we may turn to ,paul and hear1 ',god was in ,christ1 reconciling the world unto ,himself1 not imputing their trespasses unto them4' ,or the ,apostle ,john will tell us that ',he is the propitiation for our sins2 and not for ours only1 but also for the sins of the whole world4' ,now that we have reminded ourselves of the love1 and of the gift embracing redemption1 it occurs to us to ask how are our poor brothers in ,china to avail themselves of the gift or to hear of the love4 ,another well-known test1 containing our two words again1 tells us very clearly4 ,it offers the only logical answer to the question1 and it is this3 ',go ye into all the world and preach the ,gospel to every creature4' ,love has devised its gift and prepared it at unspeakable cost1 and now commands our feet that we may bear it to all habitable parts of the earth4 ,wherever the objects of ,god's love are1 there the gift must be borne4 ,do we not all see that the work which we call ',foreign ,missions' is in the direct1 simple carrying out of the purpose of ,god1 bearing the knowledge of the gift to all for whom it is intended1 that they may avail themselves of it8 ,what object could be dearer to the heart of ,god8 ,what ,he has ,himself done shows us of what moment the matter is to ,him4 ,how can we ever excuse ourselves that it has been a matter of such indifference to us8 ,he has limited ,himself to human instruments for the carrying to the lips of dying ones whom ,he loves the water from the smitten ,rock1 and how have we responded8 ,are we indeed ,his sons and daughters1 that ,his supreme wish should be our last concern8 ,the speaker's eyes had deepened in color as he spoke4 ,now they burned with intense feeling4 ,his long1 tenacious hands were clenched repressively4 ,he went on3 ,i imagine ,i hear an objection that the same work is being done at home1 and that there is ample field here still4 ,we may not trust our own understanding to argue the case as to the value of confining our efforts to the home field1 but let the ,scriptures1 always ready to instruct us1 give us light4 ,probably we will agree that ,paul1 the apostle-missionary1 is in his life an exponent of the theory of ,gospel preaching4 ,he had an ambition4 ,hear how he expresses it3 ',yea1 being ambitious so to preach the ,gospel1 not where ,christ was already named1 that ,i might not build upon another man's foundation2 but1 as it is written ',they shall see1 to whom no tidings of him came1 ,and they who have not heard shall understand4' ,he shows his ,roman readers his method2 telling them that from ,jerusalem unto ,illyricum 7just across the ,adriatic ,sea from ,italy7 he had 'fully preached the ,gospel of ,christ4' ,now he was ready to look farther1 his task to those regions being accomplished4 ,what did he mean8 ,was he leaving behind him converted areas1 whose every inhabitant magnified ,god in ,christ ,jesus8 ,far from it4 ',fully preached' though he had1 communities were still heathen1 but for the lights that he had kindled from place to place in his persecuted journeyings4 ,remembering that he is in his life the model for ,gospel preaching1 as he is in his writings the messenger of ,christian doctrine1 must we not see that the ,gospel is for broadcast sowing1 not for close gardening1 save by the careful hands that ,god will raise up in the wake of the evangelist4 ,or1 to use another figure1 it is the notification1 to lost heirs1 of a fortune bequeathed them2 and the responsibility of the ones entrusted with the carrying out of the will is not so much to persuade heirs to receive their inheritance as to notify them of it4 ,so the ,apostle preached 'not where ,christ was named1' having a zeal to discharge his debtorship of making known to all nations ,god's gift of grace4 ,now over into ,spain--far1 far afield1 as distances then were gauged--the eager eyes of the ,apostle looked and longed for a crown of rejoicing from that land also in the day of ,christ4 ,in him we see the faithful exposition of the missionary idea4 ,by this time ,hubert was looking at the speaker very intently1 with widened1 almost startled1 eyes that were opening to a new idea4 ,winifred also sat with riveted gaze1 her cheeks slightly paling beneath the deepening conviction of a tremendous truth4 ,true worshiper that she was1 to know the truth must be to shape her life in consonance with it1 and a voice at her heart gave warning that to be conformed to this newly revealed will of ,god would be pain4 ,but where was the theory that had seemed so clear and sensible to both ,hubert and herself when they came to the meeting8 ,hubert always had clear ideas4 ,what would he say to this8 ,now ,mr4 ,carew was saying3 ,i have frequently heard it objected to foreign missions that there are works of philanthropy still to be done here4 ,the objection is absolutely irrelevant4 ,the work of missions is not an indefinite 'doing good4' ,it is the bearing of a specific good to those who have not received it4 ,it is not1 per se1 the bettering of temporal conditions4 ,it is the securing to those who believe its message the best eternal conditions4 ,it is not a matter of 'elevation'--it is a matter of translation4 ,not into a bettered life1 but into a new life with an eternal outlook--into a new realm altogether1 and that divine--the ,gospel we carry ushers its believers6 ,how would the poor1 irrelevant argument ,i have quoted have affected ,paul8 ,looking across the sea to ,spain1 and to ,rome by the way1 he was leaving behind him in ,judea1 in ,asia--in all the region unto ,illyricum1 hungry people still unfed and the naked still unclothed4 ,want and misery still stretched out their hands to be relieved4 ,but they could not stay the feet of the ,apostle4 ,he had heard the supreme call6 ,god had a supreme gift to bestow2 the world had a supreme need2 and to bring the need and the gift together was his absorbing1 constraining zeal4 ,would ,god it were ours also6 ,friends1 my plea for ,china is not for its temporal needs2 it is not that its women's feet are bound1 that its men are opium-stupefied1 or that it needs our ,western ideas1 as it is waking from its ,eastern way4 ,it is this3 ,god has an unspeakable gift for its people1 and we must bear it to them4 ,his tall figure was leaning forward and his burning eyes chanced to rest fully upon ,hubert4 ,the latter started1 and a half audible groan burst from his lips4 ,was it the burden of a new motive1 or the sudden smiting of a chord he knew right well8 ,the unspeakable gift6 ,yes1 he knew it2 and its glory was ineffable beyond the highest earthly good he had known4 ,happy the man under commission to bear such a treasure1 though it be to the uttermost parts of the earth6 ,and the great ,giver longed to bestow it on the millions of ,his creatures1 but waited the unwilling feet of ,his messengers6 ,it was heart-breaking6 ,but was there no other way8 ,why should an infinite ,god limit ,himself to finite man in carrying out ,his great design8 ,mr4 ,carew continued3 ,you may ask why does ,god restrict ,himself to the human instrument in bearing the tidings1 and through the tidings the effective result1 of the ,redemption8 ,i cannot tell you why1 but ,i see that it is so4 ,a light from heaven may overpower a ,saul of ,tarsus1 and he may hear words straight from the ascended ,christ4 ,but a ,christian man--,ananias--must be sent to tell him how to wash away his sins1 and to minister the ,holy ,spirit to him4 ,an angel may communicate with ,cornelius1 the ,centurion1 but he stays his lips from uttering the ,gospel of ,christ4 ,that privilege is reserved for the human lips of ,peter4 ,is it not sufficient that the ,commander has said1 ',go ye'8 ,had the task been set for angels1 it would have been accomplished long since1 for they do ,his pleasure4 ,but ,he trusted it to us1 who might be expected to be so bound by ties of gratitude to ,his will that we would eagerly spring to do ,his bidding4 ,and we have miserably failed4 ',is there not another way8' we languidly ask in the face of the command4 ,i do not see another way4 ,but the ,lord has most clearly outlined this way3 ,that the ,gospel should be preached in all the world to every creature1 and that the one who believes and is baptized should be saved4 ,to sit and philosophically consider that an infinite ,god must surely find some other way if we fail in this1 is not reverence for ,his wisdom4 ,it is mutiny4 ,some of the ladies looked startled at this bold setting forth of the case1 and remembered how1 privately1 they had given voice to the sentiments under criticism before coming to the meeting4 ,the ,secretary's keen face betrayed thorough assent to what the speaker was saying1 and the ,president was glad that she held such a relation as she did to a cause so evidently right1 with a reverse side so evidently wrong4 ,the plain little body of the ,church ,social beamed thorough sympathy4 ,do you say1 continued ,mr4 ,carew1 that ,god will be merciful to the heathen because of their ignorance8 ,i believe ,he will1 and do not doubt that it will be 'more tolerable' for those who have never heard than for those in this country 7heathen also1 in the ,scriptural sense7 who1 having often heard1 are still rejectors of the ,gospel4 ,but there is a greater question involved than that of lessened stripes or mitigated woe4 ,do you say that men will be saved by lack of knowledge8 ,the prophet said his people perished for lack of it6 ,ah1 if ,god had ordained ignorance to be the way of salvation ,he might have spared ,himself great cost6--cost of the redemption sacrifice1 and of its proclamation1 often in martyr blood4 ,but ,he confers ,his boon to faith and 'faith cometh by hearing4' ,you say it will increase the responsibility of the heathen if they hear1 and put them in worse case if they reject the message8 ,very true4 ,but had that been a sufficient reason it would have silenced our ,lord's ',go ye' at the outset of the age4 ,never would the ,gospel have traveled to our barbaric fathers1 and we should be without hope to-day4 ,but the treasure was too great which the ,saviour sought4 ,no thought of deeper shadows cast by the very brightness of the light could deter ,him from holding it forth4 ,beyond all cost of difficulty1 danger1 or the deepened condemnation of the lost1 was the value of the ,church ,he sought--the pearl of great price for which all other possessions might be forfeited6 ,ah1 friends1 since the object is so dear to ,him1 where are our hearts that we think of it so coldly6 ,the burden of my plea is for ,him2 not for the missionary1 not for philanthropy1 not even so much for the heathen themselves1 as for ,him1 because ,he loves and longs to give but lacks the human vessels through which to give6 ,the speaker paused1 and absently pushed back the hair from his flushed forehead4 ,an almost tragic yearning shone in his deepset eyes4 ,there was one in the congregation whose heart burned in a fellowship of grief over the ,saviour's unmet longing4 ,mr4 ,carew continued more slowly1 in a voice intensely sad and almost broken3 ,do you sometimes quote softly for your comfort1 ',i will guide thee with mine eye'8 ,you have thought of ,his eye upon you--and that is right--to care for1 protect and lead4 ,but have you ever watched the glance of ,his eye with another thought1 not for yourself1 but for ,him8 ,not to see in it provision and help for you2 but to see to what ,he is looking1 for what ,he is longing--what it is that will give joy to ,him8 ,when ,i look in ,his eyes1 and the speaker was looking far away from his congregation and spoke as though half forgetting them1 ,i seem to hear ,him saying1 ',i have other sheep--,i must bring them6' ,his voice sank to a whisper4 ,hubert felt a little convulsive movement beside him and ,winifred's hand was shading her eyes4 ,mr4 ,carew recovered from the emotion that nearly mastered him1 and remembered his hearers and their probable wishes4 ,he began again3 ,but perhaps ,i am neglecting to tell you that which you came especially to hear--some details concerning the actual work of ,god in ,china4 ,you will pardon me1 but ,i cannot forbear speaking wherever ,i go concerning the principles underlying our work1 as well as of the work itself4 ,one might describe the people and their ways--and all that is valuable in making them more real to us--and might present a score of curious things which would perhaps beguile an hour very pleasantly1 but still leave an indifferent heart unchanged as to the real motive of missions4 ,however1 all that ,i have said will gain and not lose by our turning attention for a time to the practical outworking of the theory4 ,then the speaker gave illustrations of the way lost souls are found in ,china4 ,very pathetic were some of the incidents1 and again and again ,winifred's eyes were dim1 and an unspeakable pain gnawed at ,hubert's heart4 ,fervently he thanked ,god for those whose darkness ,he had turned to light1 but sad beyond expression seemed the repeated instances which had occurred in ,mr4 ,carew's experience of earnest pleadings for missionaries to be sent to various places and his absolute inability to answer the cry4 ,but broader than the fact of the wish of some stood the need of all6 ,populous cities without one witness to the grace of ,god6 ,wide regions untraversed by the feet of ,his messengers6 ,hubert had thought ,new ,laodicea a place of desperate need2 and so it was in the matter of vital1 fruit-bearing piety4 ,but as he thought of the inky darkness in which ,china's millions dwelt this seemed a place of light4 ,the meeting came to an end4 ,but first the ,president expressed the thanks of those who had listened to the lecture1 and hoped all had been stirred to greater zeal and effort for the future in helping so good a cause4 ,she suggested that the mite-boxes should be redistributed4 ',mite-boxes6' thought ,hubert and squirmed in his seat impatiently4 ,then an inward voice reproved him for his contempt of small things4 ,he thought of the poor that might deposit from time to time small coins that meant much from their slender incomes4 ,yes1 mites were all right1 if they were like the widow's1 and not the meager drippings from a selfish superfluity4 ,but suppose he take a mite-box8 ,how many of them would be required to hold the hoarded1 unnecessary1 unused wealth at his command8 ,he could not insult the ,lord and the dearest object of ,his heart by an offering unworthy of his resources4 ,there was a pleasant buzz of voices at the close of the meeting and nobody seemed to be going4 ,doctor ,schoolman was shaking hands with ,mr4 ,carew4 ,doors were opened into the parlor and there was the fragrant odor of a collation prepared4 ,for the benevolences of ,new ,laodicea were nothing like certain reluctant pumps that will give nothing until they have been given to4 ,to whet an interest in such meetings as this1 and to cajole small sums from unwilling purses1 it was found necessary to make a gastronomic appeal4 ,hubert and ,winifred moved forward to personally express to the lecturer their appreciation of his words4 ,doctor ,schoolman greeted them warmly and introduced them to him4 ,mr4 ,carew had noticed the two among his hearers1 and looked at them now with an unconsciously appealing glance4 ,his face was still flushed and the hand ,hubert took was hot4 ,you are not well1 said the latter involuntarily4 ,no1 said ,mr4 ,carew1 rather absently1 ,i suppose not4 ,i should not think this work you are doing would tend to recovery8 ,no1 perhaps not1 said the missionary4 ,hubert looked at him inquiringly4 ,then why do you do it8 he wished to ask1 but refrained4 ,mr4 ,carew answered his questioning look4 ,i am not to be pitied1 he said with a smile1 even if ,i should not recover as ,i hope to do4 ,some men are sick and die for pure folly's sake1 or for business4 ,they are to be pitied4 ,but if it were given a man to be spent for ,christ's sake--to know some faint shadow of suffering for the same cause for which ,he suffered as we never may--that man is happy1 ,i think4 ,he is1 said ,hubert earnestly1 he is4 ,mr4 ,carew was struck by the sincerity of ,hubert's tones4 ,he looked at him with a searching1 yearning expression2 somewhat1 it may be1 as the ,lord ,jesus looked on the rich young man and loved him4 ,would this one stand the test of love's requirement8 ,some ladies were taking ,winifred away to the parlors for refreshments1 and someone invited ,mr4 ,carew and ,hubert also4 ,they both accepted with the mutual wish to prolong the conversation4 ,as they ate they talked of the ,living ,bread which must be borne to men4 ,in the course of their conversation ,hubert confessed3 ,you will be astonished1 but ,i have never before seen the matter as you presented it to-day1 and yet ,i have been a ,christian for three years4 ,a good many men have been ,christians for many years1 and yet have not come to see the true motive of missions1 said ,mr4 ,carew4 ,it is singular how the most fundamental principles may be most ignored2 ,i suppose somewhat as a man thinks less of the foundation stones of his house than of what he finds inside it4 ,but in spite of this if a man has really a heart for ,god1 when the matter is clearly presented to him he responds to it4 ,god's purpose must find an 'amen' in his heart4 ,that is true1 said ,hubert4 ,presently they left the parlor1 still talking together earnestly of ,god's will1 and inadvertently drifted into the great auditorium4 ,mr4 ,carew glanced about at its finished elegance4 ,perhaps1 he said to ,hubert1 they think this instead1 is doing the will of ,god4 ,i daresay they have read that the house ,solomon builds for ,god must be 'exceeding magnifical1' and they think so must this be4 ,and1 indeed1 the spiritual antitype of that house must be beautiful6 ,it 'groweth into a holy temple in the ,lord4' ,and the work of missions is gathering its 'living stones4' ,but this--the ,new ,testament breathes no word of instruction concerning this material house6 ,ah1 if ,i were to write a general confession for our church ,i should say3 ',we have left undone the things we were told to do1 and we have done the things we were not told to do1 and there is very little health in us6' ,hubert smiled at ,mr4 ,carew's words1 but felt their force4 ,he ventured to remark3 ,this building does not look as though there were lack of money among us4 ,oh1 no6 said ,mr4 ,carew4 ,oh1 no6 ,he repressed his lips1 as though fearing to say more than would be courteous4 ,but presently he spoke again in general terms4 ,the church at home1 he said1 has largely forgotten her pilgrim character4 ,she has put off her sandals1 and loosened her robes for luxurious living instead of girding them for service and pilgrimage4 ,as to display and indulgence at home1 she says plainly1 ',i am rich1' but as to the carrying out the will of ,god entrusted to her for the world1 she is pitifully poor4 ,they were emerging from the stately auditorium1 and ,hubert bethought him to look for ,winifred4 ,they met her in one of the rooms with ,mrs4 ,greenman4 ,oh1 ,mr4 ,carew1 said the latter1 ,i was looking for you4 ,our ladies appreciate so very much your talk to us6 ,i hope-- ,winifred and ,hubert were now speaking together and did not hear more of the ,president's remarks4 ,but before they left the place ,hubert had sought ,mr4 ,carew again and had asked him to call at his office the following day4 ,i should like to talk with you further concerning your business1 he said4 ,he used the word business absent-mindedly1 and ,mr4 ,carew smiled1 not at all illy pleased with it4 ,hubert was thinking of an investment4 ,,chapter ,,xvii ,,let ,,the ,,dead ,,bury ,,their ,,dead ,winifred and ,hubert walked a part of the way home in silence4 ,at length the former spoke4 ,it seems to me we have been rather blind concerning the object of missions1 she said4 ,what do you think of it now1 ,hubert8 ,i am convinced that ,i have taken a very shallow view of it1 ,hubert replied4 ,it is a marvel to me now that ,i could have missed so completely the true motive of missions4 ,it is as clear as daylight in the ,bible4 ,it is humiliating to think one has been so contentedly provincial in thoughts of ,god's salvation4 ,i am ashamed of it4 ,so am ,i1 agreed ,winifred1 and then they walked on in silence4 ,an uneasy thought was gnawing at her heart that hardly found expression4 ,had it been put in words it would have been something like this3 ,how are we to act with reference to new light on the will of ,god8 ,if ,hubert and ,i are really ,his children1 called into ,his fellowship1 then we must be sympathetic with ,his wish and do what we can to forward it4 ,what would that be8 ,soon they reached the door of their home4 ,home6 ,what a pleasant word it is4 ,how easily the accustomed key turned in the latch1 and how familiarly the house belongings greeted them as they entered4 ,ay1 there's no place like home1 and its cords wind themselves about us silently1 certainly1 until it seems almost a sacrilege to think of leaving it4 ,hubert went at once to his room1 to the spot where questions were wont to be settled1 and when dinner was announced he begged to be excused4 ,winifred and her father sat alone at the table4 ,he inquired concerning the missionary meeting1 and she rehearsed to him much of what ,mr4 ,carew had said4 ,ah1 very good--very good1 ,mr4 ,gray said4 ,very conclusive1 ,i should think4 ,but it did not occur to him how a conclusive argument and a life action might stand related4 ,theories cost nothing when only the mind assents to them4 ,but wrought in the heart1 they mold lives after them4 ,in ,hubert's room a painful heart process was going on4 ,sunk in a deep1 capacious chair1 with head resting upon his hand1 he set in order before himself the axiomatic truths he had heard4 ,god's supreme work is salvation1 he meditated4 ,the field for this work is the world--the whole world4 ,salvation is wrought--as to man's part--through faith in a message preached4 ,the message requires a messenger4 ,in vast proportions of the field the messengers are wanting4 ,what should be done about it8 ,clearly1 the messengers should rally at the command of ,god4 ,but it must be at ,his command4 ,men cannot go self-sent4 ,this thought gave a brief respite to the haunting sense of a responsibility4 ,whom shall ,i send and who will go for us8 ,the double questions heard by ,isaiah in the temple repeated itself now in ,hubert's mind4 ,there are two questions there1 he said4 ',whom shall ,i send1 and who will go for us8' ,a man can only answer1 finally1 the second4 ,god must answer ,his own first query1--although ,isaiah did suggest1 'send me4' ,must not any loyal child if he hear his ,father's appeal say1 ',here am ,i'8 ,hubert's head sank lower upon his hand4 ,have ,i heard the voice of ,his need8 he asked1 but hesitated to answer his own question4 ,yes1 he said finally1 aloud1 in a strained voice1 ,i have heard4 ,i can never un-hear ,his words4 ,i may disregard them1 make myself forget them1 but ,i can never go back to the place of twelve hours ago and be as though ,i had never known ,his mind4 ,i have been in ,his temple--,i1 a worshiper purged by ,his infinite grace1 ,i have seen a vision of ,his will1 and have heard the voice of ,his need4 ,i can never undo the fact4 ,lines that somebody had written repeated themselves in his mind3 ,light obeyed increaseth light2 ,light rejected bringeth night4 ,who shall give me power to choose1 ,if the love of light ,i lose8 ,why did he still hesitate8 ,why did his here am ,i linger for hours unsaid8 ,a sense of the reality of present things and of home surroundings swept over him4 ,these were the possible things4 ,but those--8 ,he shuddered4 ,dim1 misty1 in a veil of unreality lay ,china1 a distant land4 ,what relation had he with it8 ,there were missionaries1 a strange1 separated1 unusual folk1 specially created for the purpose1 no doubt2 but he1 a practical1 everyday1 intensely real sort of being--what had he to do with things so far away8 ,oh1 no6 ,it was not for him4 ,let him put aside the overwrought fancies of the day1 and return to practical life again4 ,he almost rose from his seat as though to emphasize his sober thought1 but an impression restrained him4 ,and so ,i lose ,my witnesses6 he imagined his ,lord saying with grief4 ,they are walking by sight and not by faith1 and the seen1 tangible things hold them4 ,who will stretch out his hands to lay hold upon the things of eternal life8 ,hubert sank in rebuked silence under the spell of the afternoon's disclosure4 ,it was reality1 if he were a ,christian4 ,it must be faced4 ,but how the seen things wrestled with the heavenly vision6 ,habit1 long association1 and tender love mingled a cup of sacrifice that he must drink4 ,could he leave all these for the sake of the joyful message of his ,lord8 ,now imagination pictured the leavetaking4 ,how the familiar scenes of his home and native city remonstrated with his choice6 ,in fancy he wrung for the last time his father's hand1 he bade one last farewell to the flower-dressed grave of his gentle mother1 and--and ,winifred6 ,a dry1 tearless sob shook him4 ,o sweet sister1 loved most of all since the days when1 her jealous-eyed protector1 he walked beside her to the school1 shared sturdily but keenly her childish woes and fought all battles for her6 ,loved now with a closer1 spiritual tie in their mutual devotion to their blessed ,lord6 ,how could he give her up8 ,how could he leave her undefended now by his watchful love8 ,the scene of three years ago when he handed the sword of his self-served and self-defended life to ,jesus ,christ1 and purposed in ,his heart to follow ,him at any cost1 was vividly rehearsed in his memory4 ,possessions1 home1 kindred1 all things1 were nominated in the bond of the whole-hearted surrender to his ,lord4 ,the time had come to hold to those honest terms4 ,hubert rose from his seat with a pale face1 and a death-like sinking at his heart4 ,yes1 ,lord ,jesus1 he uttered with dry lips1 ,i am at ,thy command4 ,forgive my coward halting4 ,if ,thou wilt send me1 ,i will go4 ,on the other side of the hall1 in her pretty room1 ,winifred had prayed3 ,we have seen the glance of ,thine eye1 ,o ,lord1 and know ,thy longing4 ,open our eyes to see how we may serve ,thee1 and strengthen our hearts to bear--nay1 to love6--,thy will4 ,if we must give each other up--a long pause1 broken by storms of weeping1 intervened--then let us see--oh1 let us see ,thy face6 ,when ,winifred and ,hubert first met in the hall next morning some gleams of comfort had already stolen into both their hearts4 ,he put his arm about her as they descended the stairs together1 and at the foot they paused4 ,dear little sister6 he said caressingly4 ,her eyes filled at his unusual tenderness2 for ,hubert's love1 however fervent and well believed-in1 was not demonstrative4 ,she looked up in his face with a long1 serious question4 ,he answered it by asking3 ,shall ,i go8--for ,him1 ,winnie8 ,yes1 ,hubert1 she said earnestly1 oh1 yes6 ,but the color flickered in her cheeks and her lips grew white4 ,they stood for a moment together but neither spoke4 ,together they presented afresh their offering to ,god1 and ,he knew that it was costly4 ,at breakfast neither spoke of the matter that was uppermost in their hearts4 ,but later ,hubert sought his father in the library and made known to him the step he had taken4 ,grief1 dismay1 and almost anger1 struggled in the older man's heart4 ,he looked at his son with sorrowful sternness4 ,then--then1 ,hubert1 he said very slowly1 you have concluded to leave me4 ,a pang shot through ,hubert's heart1 keener than any thought of his own pain1 but he answered steadily3 ,i have concluded1 father1 to follow ,christ4 ,mr4 ,gray frowned4 ,he was not conscious of frowning at the name of ,christ1 or at so pure a sentiment as that uttered1 but grief made him insensible to what he did4 ,and is that1 he asked with some irony1 the only way you can find of following ,him8 ,can no one follow ,him at home8 ,i do not see that he can if he is called abroad1 father4 ,and are you called8 he asked sharply1 still the pain at his heart dulling any sense of shame that he could speak unsympathetically of such a thing4 ,hubert answered gently4 ,i believe ,i am1 father1 he said4 ,mr4 ,gray stared at his son silently4 ,his face grew ashen and the hand upon the table before him trembled visibly4 ,hubert stood in an agony of mute sympathy4 ,at last the father rose without a word and prepared to leave the room4 ,his face looked older by a decade than an hour before4 ,hubert made a movement to detain him and opened his lips to speak2 but the other waved him aside with a quick gesture of the trembling hand4 ,and so they parted4 ,hubert looked after his father with a breaking heart4 ,he had thought the crisis of his grief was passed when alone in his room he wrestled out the problem for his own heart4 ,but now a heavier weight rested upon his soul4 ,must he break his father's heart8 ,must the hope of happy comradeship in future years be put aside1 and with the disappointment his father age and weaken irrecoverably8 ,he saw him walk down the path slowly and heavily1 and a feeling of awful guilt swept over him4 ,was he his father's murderer8 ,was he following a delusion that would make himself an exile and lay his father prematurely in his grave8 ,the thought overpowered him4 ,he sank helplessly in a chair and groaned out his burden to the ,lord4 ,o ,lord1 he prayed1 am ,i walking in ,thy footsteps1 or am ,i a deluded wretch1 bringing sorrow1 and it may be death1 to those ,i love most8 ,he paused1 and his head sank deeply4 ,lord1 this is grief1 he groaned4 ,this is grief4 ,i have not known it before4 ,and so it seemed4 ,thoughts of his own loneliness and possible hardships seemed light compared with this4 ,grief6 he repeated1 as though he found relief in the pitiful uttering of the word whose depths he was sounding4 ,then memory framed a passage which held the same word4 ,a man of sorrows1 it repeated1 and acquainted with grief6 ,how sweet the words sounded6 ,and how dear the imagined face of ,him of whom they were spoken6 ,tell me of ,thy grief1 he whispered4 ,didst ,thou cause grief8 ,words of ,scripture again came to his help4 ,yea1 a sword shall pierce through thine own soul1 he heard ,simeon say to the mother of his ,lord1 and it dawned upon him that when ,jesus faced the cross with its agony ,he must have felt through ,his tenderest of hearts the sword-piercing of ,his ,mother's sorrow4 ,ah1 yes6 ,he caused grief4 ,and as ,he took ,his own way to the cross ,he raised a standard for those who follow of pitiless separations and of broken ties1 if need be1 for ,his kingdom's sake4 ,if any man cometh unto ,me1 and1 hateth not his own father1 and mother1 and wife1 and children1 and brethren1 and sisters1 yea1 and his own life also1 he cannot be ,my disciple4 ,texts that ,hubert had passed lightly before were now illuminated with meaning and power as the occasion rose for them to be translated into life4 ,he found a rare sweetness of comfort in those which assured him that he need not fear he was out of the path of the ,saviour's footprints1 though he found them blood-marked or washed with many tears4 ,he turned to some familiar words which he wished to see before him again in plain black and white4 ,they were found toward the end of the ninth chapter of ,luke4 ,lord1 suffer me first to go and bury my father1 said one in response to his ,lord's follow me4 ,and said ,jesus1 ,let the dead bury their dead1 but go thou and preach the kingdom of ,god4 ,let the dead bury their dead6 ,what a strange expression1 and what could it mean6 ,hubert pondered the text1 no longer in keen agony of mind1 for his distress had lightened as he saw even on the painful way the light of ,god's will shining4 ,anything could be borne1 if the face of the ,lord still shone upon it6 ,what does it mean8 he queried in deep meditation4 ,slowly a meaning1 not the full one1 doubtless1 but suited to his need1 dawned upon him4 ,let the spiritually dead attend to the affairs of death4 ,let them follow the conventional1 natural round1 and answer always to the cries of human love and longing4 ,let them keep to earthly ties and earthly work4 ,but let the living be about the affairs of life6 ,a ministry waits that only living hands can serve4 ,let filial hearts render unto earthly love that which is due1 but see that thou1 child of ,god1 render also unto ,god the things which are ,god's4 ,there are a thousand things1 thought ,hubert1 that unregenerated men can do quite as well as any4 ,indeed1 they have an affinity with earthly things that is lacking in the heaven-born man4 ,to trade in iron and amass wealth does not require a living man4 ,i will let others do it4 ,the supreme business of my ,father calls1 and ,i must be about it4 ,but my earthly father8 ,shall ,i wait first to bury him8 ,the ,lord says1 ,no4 ,hubert studied his pattern in ,his life as well as words4 ,he was subject to ,his parents1 he reflected1 until the time came for ,his ministry and ,he had reached mature years of responsibility4 ,then1 when ,he had entered upon ,his task1 not even ,his mother's voice could turn ,him from it4 ,when ,his friends thought ,him beside ,himself1 and she with them sought to take ,him away from ,his work1 ,he said1 ',who is ,my mother8 4 4 4 ,whosoever shall do the will of ,god1 the same is my brother and sister and mother4' ,but ,he still was not unfilial4 ,when not even the thought of the sword through her heart could take ,him from the cross1 ,he made provision for her1 commending her to ,john's faithful love4 ,hubert's eyes grew soft again with thoughts of his father4 ,there was no need to think of provision for him1 for he had enough4 ,but he longed to give him always the joy of a son's tender love and companionship4 ,still the supreme call was inexorable1 and another ,father's business demanded filial fellowship4 ,thou must care for him1 ,lord1 he said1 and with a sudden impulse he knelt beside the library table and prayed that ,god would take away all the sting of his father's grief1 and give him joy instead2 joy in fellowship with the great ,father in ,his giving4 ,after prayer he was much relieved and went to his work as usual1 admitting to his office soon after his arrival ,mr4 ,carew1 who called in response to his wish of the day before4 ,hubert had more to offer than the financial gift contemplated4 ,,chapter ,,xviii ,,god1 ,,my ,,exceeding ,,joy ,a heavy cloud hung over the house for days4 ,mr4 ,gray was silent and sad4 ,all attempts to renew the conversation of that painful ,thursday morning were waived aside4 ,hubert was at a loss to know how to proceed with his project1 but he and ,winifred gave themselves to diligent prayer4 ,as to the latter1 sharp as was her grief at the thought of parting with her brother1 her love for ,god was stronger1 and she did not hesitate for a moment in her consent that he should go4 ,i do not know any other answer to give to ,god1 she said4 ,surely ,i have nothing too precious for ,him1 when ,he has given all to me4 ,and you know1 she said with a radiant smile1 ,hubert and ,i can never lose each other6 ,we cannot lose what is in ,christ6 ,she made these remarks to ,adele ,forrester1 to whom the matter of ,hubert's call to foreign service was communicated4 ,her friend listened very quietly4 ,adele had been steadily growing in ,god's grace since the day when ,his way of salvation dawned so brightly upon her4 ,she was the same merry-hearted young woman as before1 but a certain womanly sweetness1 never really lacking beneath the gay exterior1 developed in ever-increasing winsomeness4 ,a capacity for intense enjoyment found new sources for its filling in the knowledge of ,jesus ,christ1 and she pursued faithfully and happily the ways she saw of serving ,him4 ,to-day she received ,winifred's news with evident sympathy1 but with a reserve of feeling not expressed4 ,our ,bishop preached a splendid missionary sermon two weeks ago1 she remarked4 ,he made things very plain indeed4 ,i think we all felt that we had been almost traitors in not rallying to the ,lord's standard better than we had done4 ,even ,dick paid some attention1 for he said after church--you know what a tease he is--'now ,i hope you see where you ought to be6' ,oh1 ,adele1 said ,winifred1 ,i haven't thought to ask you in months how the choir is getting along4 ,the mention of ,dick reminds me4 ,do you still enjoy your singing8 ,adele laughed4 ,my 'occupation's gone1' she said4 ,we are supplanted by a boy choir4 ,the present minister likes that better4 ,a saucy little fellow who brings our evening paper and fights his business competitors once in a while is one of our successors4 ,he looks quite cherubic in a surplice4 ,and you8 ,i sing praises in the congregation1 and what is left over ,i sometimes offer in the mission4 ,so you still keep up your service at the mission8 ,oh1 yes6 ,adele did not add how much appreciated were those services1 nor how she had added visitation amongst the families represented at the mission to the evident blessing of not a few4 ,their conversation drifted back to the subject of ,hubert's leaving1 and ,adele entered a compact of prayer for the right development of all things relating to it4 ,gradually the ,spirit of ,god wrought in the heart of ,robert ,gray4 ,he was led to think of the darkness of unbelief out of which his son had been brought1 and to consider how fitting a thing it was that a life thus renewed should be held at the command of ,god4 ,but it was hard to think of him as a foreign missionary6 ,mr4 ,gray had believed theoretically in the cause of missions and had given a yearly subscription to the society representing it4 ,but to give his son--ah1 that was a different matter6 ,at the first shock of the thought he had recoiled1 and a naturally stubborn heart kept the question at bay for a time4 ,but he could not long fight with ,god4 ,the fellowship lost while he steeled his heart against the unwelcome demand was too great a price to pay4 ,gradually it came to him that the greater weight that bowed his soul and took the joyous spring from life was not ,hubert's proposed leaving1 but the hiding of ,god's face4 ,in thy favor is life1 he prayed4 ,any bereavement would be better than for ,thee to hide ,thy face from me4 ,and the ,face shone out again as his softened will loosened its tenacious grip of that it held4 ,but still he was a man of strong opinions1 and slow to be convinced that his clear-headed1 business-like son was the one to follow the still hazy-seeming1 far-off life of a missionary4 ,it was a happy day when the ban was lifted from the subject and ,hubert was free to discuss it with his father and arrange business matters for a separation4 ,a new element in the matter taxed the sympathy of the hard-headed business man1 when it became apparent that his hitherto practical son intended not only withdrawing his active partnership from the firm of ,robert ,gray ,son1 but to sell his interest in the concern1 liberating the proceeds for the use of ,god4 ,what folly6 said the elder man frankly4 ,do you remember our discussion of the ,scripture about it8 replied ,hubert1 smiling4 ,i think ,i submitted to you the conclusions drawn from a study concerning it4 ,i might as well act upon my convictions1 or ,i shall lose them4 ,you know what ,james says about the 'hearers only' of the word8 ,yes1 ,i know what he says1 said his father a little testily4 ,but about this money question there must be a sensible middle course somewhere between a fanatical giving away everything you have and a close-fisted holding on to it all4 ,give to the ,lord of your first fruits1 certainly4 ,that is a good thing4 ,but a man ought to look out for himself4 ,yes1 said ,hubert1 ,i believe there is a rational course to be followed1 and perhaps the ,lord may not wish to hereafter provide for me miraculously that which ,i now have in hand naturally4 ,i do not see all the details clearly yet4 ,but certainly over and above my own necessities--which will be simple--there is something to lay at once at the feet of the ,lord4 ,i am glad ,i have so much for ,him4 ,don't let your enthusiasm run away with your common sense4 ,try to be practical4 ,i think ,i am practical1 said ,hubert1 smiling again1 although it is hard for a man to judge his own actions4 ,it seems to me the practical way to give is to give4 ,the people whom ,i consider impractical are those who1 having an abundance for themselves1 dole out pittances for the ,lord and regret they are so little6 ,the poor1 perplexed ladies in the missionary society vex their brains in planning how to 'raise' something for ,him4 ,they take mite-boxes themselves1 and they encourage the gifts of the poor1 the children1 the babies--and even the dolls1 ,i am told6 ,it is very pathetic4 ,but why does it never occur to them--to those who can afford it1 ,i mean--to give8 ,that is what ,i should call practical4 ,i suppose ,mrs4 ,greenman did not find much difficulty in 'raising' enough money to pay for her swell reception the day after the missionary meeting1 ,i saw the street lined with carriages and heard an orchestra playing inside as ,i passed4 ,we can imagine the decorations and the fine gowning4 ,now that was practical4 ,what she wanted was a fine display1 and she practically put her hand in her pocket and paid for it4 ,but she says they cannot all do what they would like for missions6 ,why do they plead poverty there8 ,mrs4 ,greenman would not like to have her husband poorly rated in ,bradstreet's1 and ,i am sure she did not wish to have her guests the other day think of poverty4 ,but before the ,lord--ah1 maybe that is what they think it is to be 'poor in spirit6' ,but if they would be honest6 ,if she should say1 now1 in the missionary meeting3 ',the amount raised is not what we might have given1 but it is all we really wish to give in view of the luncheon parties1 fine dresses1 and all that sort of thing1 that we find more important1' ,i think that way of putting it would be practical1 and honest withal4 ,mr4 ,gray actually laughed1 and the sound was music to his son's ears4 ,very good1 ,hubert1 he said4 ,you had better give them a lecture4 ,had ,i not better give them an object lesson8 ,hubert suggested instead4 ,there is one thing you cannot do1 ,mr4 ,gray said with a sly triumph4 ,hubert looked at him inquiringly4 ,you cannot give away your mother's legacy4 ,the terms of the will provide for that4 ,the property cannot be alienated4 ,hubert looked at his father blankly for a moment4 ,the fact stated he had quite forgotten4 ,you are right1 he exclaimed4 ,then his brow cleared of its blank surprise and he laughed4 ,that settles it about the rest1 he said4 ,the income from that property will amply support me and any poor interests a humble missionary may have4 ,just so1 said his father4 ,or it might maintain a poor fool who had missed his calling and was sent home4 ,hubert laughed again4 ,quite so1 he assented4 ,and so the clouds broke away from over the house of ,gray4 ,a restored mutual understanding gave relief amounting to joy even in the face of coming separation4 ,hubert's enterprise1 like a great ship1 could not be launched hastily4 ,months of preparation passed in which the business matter was finally settled and other affairs adjusted4 ,it was finally concluded that the entire business of ,robert ,gray ,son should be sold1 as the senior partner did not wish to carry it on without his son4 ,it is not a question of the poor-house if you do give it up now1 father1 ,hubert said to him1 and he assented4 ,the missionary-to-be found himself called to many places to speak on behalf of the cause1 and he did so with great readiness4 ,his intense ardor caused his words to burn their way into many hearts4 ,again and again his own heart was overwhelmed within him by the greatness of his theme4 ,cold figures became burning facts as he looked at the wide areas untouched by the ,gospel4 ,the slighted wish of his ,lord became an anguish in his soul4 ,that men and women should call themselves by ,his name and still live unto themselves1 never grieved by ,his message undelivered1 ,his errand of love undone1 was a shame intolerable4 ,sometimes when the passion for his ,lord's will swept his soul1 and he beheld in contrast the idle hands of the church1 paralyzed by pleasure or filled with self-interests1 in secret he cast himself upon his face and wept as only a strong man1 unused to tears1 can weep4 ,the heart of ,robert ,gray turned with increasing fondness to his daughter who still saw her place to be at his side4 ,a great comfort was she to him in these days of trial4 ,for herself1 ,winifred was finding out afresh the sweetness of an accepted sorrow4 ,the joy of the ,lord was inexpressible4 ,she could scarcely understand the gladness that filled her soul after sacrifice more than when their corn and their wine increased4 ,why are you so radiant8 ,adele asked in one of their many conferences4 ,i do not know1 she answered1 blushing at being surveyed so admiringly4 ,but do you remember that ,psalm1 ,adele1 that says3 ',o send out thy light and thy truth3 let them lead me1 ,let them bring me unto thy holy hill'-- that is getting very near to ,god1 ,adele-- ',and to thy tabernacles4 ,that is nearer still2 but listen to that that comes next3 ',then will ,i go unto the altar of ,god1 ,unto ,god my exceeding joy4' ,i think this is the reason why ,i am so happy4 ,his light and ,his truth have led me to ,his holy precincts and ,i have gone to ,his altar--to the altar of burnt offering4 ,and1 ,adele1--her eyes filled with tears of an inexpressible gladness--it is there we find ,him to be our 'exceeding joy4' ,i cannot explain it--,i cannot even tell it--but ,he is 'my exceeding joy6' ,i know1 said ,adele1 her own eyes filling4 ,i have found ,him there4 ,and ,i think one reason why so many ,christians seem to have no joy is because they have not come to ,his altar in the sense you mean4 ,perhaps they have seen ,christ there for them in some sense1 but have never quite taken their place there with ,him4 ,do you remember1 too1 ,winifred1 that it was when the burnt offering began on that great occasion in ,hezekiah's time that 'the song of the ,lord began also8' ,oh1 yes6 ,winifred responded4 ',the song of the ,lord6' ,it has surely begun here1 ,adele4 ,and so it had1 indeed4 ,that evening as ,hubert returned from a busy day in town he found his sister singing2 ',o joy that seekest me through pain1 ,i cannot close my heart to thee2 ,i trace the rainbow through the rain1 ,and feel the promise is not vain ,that morn shall tearless be4' ,singing1 little sister8 was his greeting4 ,yes1 ,hubert4 ,that has been much of my occupation to-day4 ,that is good1 he replied4 ,by the way1 ,i heard some news in town to-day4 ,he endeavored to speak carelessly1 but looked at her apprehensively4 ,yes8 ,what is it8 ,he walked to the window and examined a flower with apparent interest4 ,i hear that ,george ,frothingham's engagement to ,miss ,randolph1 the banker's daughter1 is announced4 ,yes1 said ,winifred calmly1 ,i saw that in the morning paper4 ,you need not have been afraid to tell me1 ,hubert4 ,his engagement is a matter of perfect indifference to me4 ,thank the ,lord6 ,hubert exclaimed impulsively4 ,amen1 she responded1 still calmly4 ,on another evening ,hubert returned with still another piece of news4 ,he had gone to the ,cleary ,street ,mission to speak1 and was late in returning4 ,winifred1 who loved to hear accounts of all his meetings1 waited up for him4 ,she was in her little sitting-room when he returned4 ,he came straight to her door and answered her ready come in with a light step and glowing face4 ,he plunged at the special matter of joy at once4 ,winifred1 he said1 ,i am not going to ,china alone4 ,the color changed in her face at the sudden announcement4 ,who--who is it1 ,hubert8 ,is it--8 ,adele4 ,oh1 ,hubert1 ,i am so glad6 she cried joyfully1 and kissed him in warm congratulation4 ,then suddenly the thought of her own loss intruded4 ,must she give her up also8 ,her eager gladness turned to a burst of tears4 ,how swept of all whom she had loved1 except her dear father1 seemed the home scenes now4 ,she would gladly have restrained herself for ,hubert's sake1 but the sudden grief was uncontrollable4 ,she sobbed convulsively1 as when years ago some childish grief had broken in storms upon her and ,hubert had stood by in tearless but painful sympathy1 suggesting boyish consolations1 ready to sacrifice any plaything or possession that might mend her broken heart4 ,now he stood helplessly before this passionate outburst4 ,forgive me1 ,winifred1 he said contritely1 it is cruel of me to take her away4 ,no1 it isn't1 sobbed ,winifred4 ,it is just--what ,i--wished4 ,only--,i shall--miss her so6 ,of course1 he replied pitifully4 ,the storm subsided1 and ,winifred looked at her brother apologetically4 ,i am ashamed1 she said1 still with long catches in her breath4 ,i couldn't help it4 ,i am not sorry--she is going--,i am very glad6 ,you are very brave1 he said4 ,but it's true1 she persisted4 ,it's all over now1 ,hubert4 ,i shall not cry like that again4 ,let us talk about it4 ,they talked about it till the small hours came4 ,winifred's face cleared of every trace of sorrow1 and she loved to think of the cheer and help that ,hubert would have in the far-off land4 ,no braver heart of all they knew could have been found to share his pilgrimage2 and they imagined how ,adele's keen sense of humor might turn many a sorry happening into mirth4 ,also she had served an apprenticeship here among the poor and outcast whom she had come to love and who loved her well4 ,winifred1 said ,hubert suddenly in the midst of their conversation1 ,gerald ,bond is to preach for ,dr4 ,schoolman next ,sunday4 ,for some reason best known to himself he watched her countenance narrowly as he made the announcement4 ,but her fair face showed only sweet unconsciousness4 ,really8 she said4 ,i am very glad4 ,we must have him with us if we can4 ,i long to talk with him about these new things4 ,certainly4 ,you must invite him1 ,hubert4 ,winnie1 said her brother1 ,i seem to have a spirit of prophesy upon me to-night4 ,almost ,i can see the path before us with some of its lights and shadows4 ,oh1 there will be compensations for all sorrows6 ,i know it1 she said earnestly4 ,you will say it is my own great joy that ,god has given that makes me prophesy4 ,perhaps it is4 ,but ,i see this1 ,winnie2 ,he will never be in our debt when we yield our all to ,him4 ,sweet surprises1 unlooked for joys1 will be thrown in all the way4 ,goodness and mercy shall follow us all our days6 ,i believe it1 ,hubert1 and then--we shall dwell in the house of the ,lord forever6 ,he drew her to the low open window1 and they stepped together into the balcony4 ,the lights of the city were still burning1 but in the east a flickering star was proclaiming the not distant advent of a greater light4 ,do you see the parable in lights1 ,winnie8 ,see how brightly the street is lighted4 ,no one need lose his way or bemoan the darkness1 though it is night4 ,but yonder is a prophet of a fuller light4 ,he is saying1 ',the sun will come4' ,here is my parable3 ,it is night1 surely1 while our ,lord is still away4 ,but ,he gives us light4 ,no way will ever be cheerless for you and me1 little sister4 ,i know ,he will give me as ,i go numberless pleasures1 fresh interests1 and boundless consolation in ,himself for all that is left behind4 ,and for you1 ,winifred1 ,i almost see some rare1 sweet blessings over your dear head1 just ready to fall upon it4 ,yes1 said ,winifred1 ,i am sure it's true4 ,i have been singing to-day1 ',glory to ,thee for all the grace ,i have not tasted yet6' ,these are like the lights in the city1 ,winnie1 but there is a day-star in our hearts that is foretelling the perfect day4 ,presently the grace of the journeying shall give way to the eternal glory--to the homecoming6 ,look1 sister1 do you see that impulse of the dawn1 as though the darkness pulsated with premonition of its coming8 ,yes1 said ,winifred1 with deep gladness in her voice4 ,the coming of the ,lord draweth nigh4