,a ,,narrative ,,of ,,the ,,most ,,remarkable ,,particulars ,,in ,,the ,,life ,,of ,,james ,,albert ,,ukawsaw ,,gronniosaw1 ,,an ,,african ,,prince1 ,as related by ,,himself4 ,i will bring the ,blind by a ,way that they know not1 ,i will lead them in ,paths that they have not known3 ,i will make ,darkness ,light before them and crooked ,things straight4 ,these ,things will ,i do unto them and not forsake them4 ,isa4 xlii4 #af4 ,,bath3 ,printed by ,w4 ,,gye in ,westgate-,street2 and sold by ,t4 ,,mills1 ,bookseller1 in ,king's-,mead-,square4 ,price ,six-,pence4 #aggb ,,to ,,the ,,right ,,honourable ,the ,countess of ,huntingdon2 ,,this ,,narrative ,of my ,,life1 ,and of ,god's wonderful ,dealings with me1 is1 7,through ,her ,,ladyship',s ,permission7 ,most ,humbly ,dedicated1 ,by her ,,ladyship',s ,most obliged ,and obedient ,servant1 ,,james ,,albert4 ,,the ,,preface to the ,,reader4 ,this ,account of the ,life and spiritual ,experience of ,james ,albert was taken from his own ,mouth and committed to ,paper by the elegant ,pen of a young ,lady of the ,town of ,leominster1 for her own private ,satisfaction1 and without any ,intention at first that it should be made public4 ,but she has now been prevail'd on to commit it to the ,press1 both with a view to serve ,albert and his distressed ,family1 who have the sole ,profits arising from the ,sale of it2 and likewise as it is apprehended1 this little ,history contains ,matter well worthy the ,notice and ,attention of every ,christian ,reader4 ,perhaps we have here in some ,degree a ,solution of that ,question that has perplex'd the ,minds of so many serious ,persons1 viz4 ,in what ,manner will ,god deal with those benighted ,parts of the ,world where the ,gospel of ,jesus ,christ hath never reach'd8 ,now it appears from the ,experience of this remarkable ,person1 that ,god does not save without the ,knowledge of the ,truth2 but1 with ,respect to those whom he hath fore-known1 though born under every outward ,disadvantage1 and in ,regions of the grossest ,darkness and ,ignorance1 he most amazingly acts upon and influences their ,minds1 and in the ,course of wisely and most wonderfully appointed ,providences1 he brings them to the ,means of spiritual ,information1 gradually opens to their ,view the ,light of his ,truth1 and gives them full ,possession and ,enjoyment of the inestimable ,blessings of his ,gospel4 ,who can doubt but that the ,suggestion so forcibly press'd upon the ,mind of ,albert 7when a ,boy7 that there was a ,being superior to the ,sun1 ,moon1 and ,stars 7the ,objects of ,african ,idolatry7 came from the ,father of ,lights1 and was1 with ,respect to him1 the ,first-,fruit of the ,display of ,gospel-,glory8 ,his long and perilous ,journey to the ,coast of ,guinea1 where he was sold for a ,slave1 and so brought into a ,christian ,land2 shall we consider this as the alone ,effect of a curious and inquisitive ,disposition8 ,shall we in accounting for it refer to nothing higher than mere ,chance and accidental ,circumstances8 ,whatever ,infidels and ,deists may think2 ,i trust the ,christian ,reader will easily discern an ,all-wise and ,omnipotent ,appointment and ,direction in these ,movements4 ,he belong'd to the ,redeemer of lost ,sinners2 he was the ,purchase of his ,cross2 and therefore the ,lord undertook to bring him by a ,way that he knew not1 out of ,darkness into his marvellous ,light1 that he might lead him to a saving ,heart-,acquaintance and ,union with the triune ,god in ,christ reconciling the ,world unto himself2 and not imputing their ,trespasses4 ,as his ,call was very extraordinary1 so there are certain ,particulars exceedingly remarkable in his ,experience4 ,god has put singular ,honour upon him in the ,exercise of his ,faith and ,patience1 which in the most distressing and pitiable ,trials and ,calamities have been found to the ,praise and ,glory of ,god4 ,how deeply must it affect a tender ,heart1 not only to be reduc'd to the last ,extremity himself1 but to have his ,wife and ,children perishing for ,want before his ,eyes6 ,yet his ,faith did not fail him2 he put his ,trust in the ,lord1 and he was delivered4 ,and at this ,instant1 though born in an exalted ,station of ,life1 and now under the ,pressure of various afflicting ,providences1 ,i am persuaded 7for ,i know the ,man7 he would rather embrace the ,dung-hill1 having ,christ in his ,heart1 than give up his spiritual ,possessions and ,enjoyment1 to fill the ,throne of ,princes4 ,it perhaps may not be amiss to observe that ,james ,albert left his native ,country1 7as near as ,i can guess from certain ,circumstances7 when he was about #ae ,years old4 ,he now appears to be turn'd of ,sixty2 has a good natural ,understanding2 is well acquainted with the ,scriptures1 and the ,things of ,god1 has an amiable and tender ,disposition1 and his ,character can be well attested not only at ,kidderminster1 the ,place of his ,residence but likewise by many creditable ,persons in ,london and other ,places4 ,reader1 recommending this ,narrative to your perusal1 and him who is the ,subject of it to your charitable ,regard1 ,i am your faithful and obedient ,servant1 ,for ,christ's ,sake1 ,w4 ,shirley4 ,,an ,,account ,,of ,,james ,,albert1 c4 ,i was born in the city ,bournou2 my mother was the eldest daughter of the reigning ,king there1 of which ,bournou is the chief city4 ,i was the youngest of six children1 and particularly loved by my mother1 and my grand-father almost doated on me4 ,i had1 from my infancy1 a curious turn of mind2 was more grave and reserved in my disposition than either of my brothers and sisters4 ,i often teazed them with questions they could not answer3 for which reason they disliked me1 as they supposed that ,i was either foolish1 or insane4 ',twas certain that ,i was1 at times1 very unhappy in myself3 it being strongly impressed on my mind that there was some ,great ,man of power which resided above the sun1 moon and stars1 the objects of our worship4 ,my dear indulgent mother would bear more with me than any of my friends beside4--,i often raised my hand to heaven1 and asked her who lived there8 was much dissatisfied when she told me the sun1 moon and stars1 being persuaded1 in my own mind1 that there must be some ,superior ,power4--,i was frequently lost in wonder at the works of the ,creation3 was afraid and uneasy and restless1 but could not tell for what4 ,i wanted to be informed of things that no person could tell me2 and was always dissatisfied4--,these wonderful impressions begun in my childhood1 and followed me continually 'till ,i left my parents1 which affords me matter of admiration and thankfulness4 ,to this moment ,i grew more and more uneasy every day1 in so much that one saturday1 7which is the day on which we keep our sabbath7 ,i laboured under anxieties and fears that cannot be expressed2 and1 what is more extraordinary1 ,i could not give a reason for it4--,i rose1 as our custom is1 about three o'clock1 7as we are oblig'd to be at our place of worship an hour before the sun rise7 we say nothing in our worship1 but continue on our knees with our hands held up1 observing a strict silence 'till the sun is at a certain height1 which ,i suppose to be about #aj or #aa o'clock in ,england3 when1 at a certain sign made by the priest1 we get up 7our duty being over7 and disperse to our different houses4--,our place of meeting is under a large palm tree2 we divide ourselves into many congregations2 as it is impossible for the same tree to cover the inhabitants of the whole ,city1 though they are extremely large1 high and majestic2 the beauty and usefulness of them are not to be described2 they supply the inhabitants of the country with meat1 drink and clothes2,a the body of the palm tree is very large2 at a certain season of the year they tap it1 and bring vessels to receive the wine1 of which they draw great quantities1 the quality of which is very delicious3 the leaves of this tree are of a silky nature2 they are large and soft2 when they are dried and pulled to pieces it has much the same appearance as the ,english flax1 and the inhabitants of ,bournou manufacture it for cloathing c4 ,this tree likewise produces a plant or substance which has the appearance of a cabbage1 and very like it1 in taste almost the same3 it grows between the branches4 ,also the palm tree produces a nut1 something like a cocoa1 which contains a kernel1 in which is a large quantity of milk1 very pleasant to the taste3 the shell is of a hard substance1 and of a very beautiful appearance1 and serves for basons1 bowls1 c4 ,footnote ,a3 ,it is a generally received opinion1 in ,england1 that the natives of ,africa go entirely unclothed2 but this supposition is very unjust3 they have a kind of dress so as to appear decent1 though it is very slight and thin4 ,i hope this digression will be forgiven4--,i was going to observe that after the duty of our ,sabbath was over 7on the day in which ,i was more distressed and afflicted than ever7 we were all on our way home as usual1 when a remarkable black cloud arose and covered the sun2 then followed very heavy rain and thunder more dreadful than ever ,i had heard3 the heav'ns roared1 and the earth trembled at it3 ,i was highly affected and cast down2 in so much that ,i wept sadly1 and could not follow my relations and friends home4--,i was obliged to stop and felt as if my legs were tied1 they seemed to shake under me3 so ,i stood still1 being in great fear of the ,man of ,power that ,i was persuaded in myself1 lived above4 ,one of my young companions 7who entertained a particular friendship for me and ,i for him7 came back to see for me3 he asked me why ,i stood still in such very hard rain8 ,i only said to him that my legs were weak1 and ,i could not come faster3 he was much affected to see me cry1 and took me by the hand1 and said he would lead me home1 which he did4 ,my mother was greatly alarmed at my tarrying out in such terrible weather2 she asked me many questions1 such as what ,i did so for1 and if ,i was well8 ,my dear mother says ,i1 pray tell me who is the great ,man of ,power that makes the thunder8 ,she said1 there was no power but the sun1 moon and stars2 that they made all our country4--,i then enquired how all our people came8 ,she answered me1 from one another2 and so carried me to many generations back4--,then says ,i1 who made the ,first ,man8 and who made the first ,cow1 and the first ,lyon1 and where does the fly come from1 as no one can make him8 ,my mother seemed in great trouble2 she was apprehensive that my senses were impaired1 or that ,i was foolish4 ,my father came in1 and seeing her in grief asked the cause1 but when she related our conversation to him1 he was exceedingly angry with me1 and told me he would punish me severely if ever ,i was so troublesome again2 so that ,i resolved never to say any thing more to him4 ,but ,i grew very unhappy in myself2 my relations and acquaintance endeavoured by all the means they could think on1 to divert me1 by taking me to ride upon goats1 7which is much the custom of our country7 and to shoot with a bow and arrow2 but ,i experienced no satisfaction at all in any of these things2 nor could ,i be easy by any means whatever3 my parents were very unhappy to see me so dejected and melancholy4 ,about this time there came a merchant from the ,gold ,coast 7the third city in ,guinea7 he traded with the inhabitants of our country in ivory c4 he took great notice of my unhappy situation1 and enquired into the cause2 he expressed vast concern for me1 and said1 if my parents would part with me for a little while1 and let him take me home with him1 it would be of more service to me than any thing they could do for me4--,he told me that if ,i would go with him ,i should see houses with wings to them walk upon the water1 and should also see the white folks2 and that he had many sons of my age1 which should be my companions2 and he added to all this that he would bring me safe back again soon4--,i was highly pleased with the account of this strange place1 and was very desirous of going4--,i seemed sensible of a secret impulse upon my mind which ,i could not resist that seemed to tell me ,i must go4 ,when my dear mother saw that ,i was willing to leave them1 she spoke to my father and grandfather and the rest of my relations1 who all agreed that ,i should accompany the merchant to the ,gold ,coast4 ,i was the more willing as my brothers and sisters despised me1 and looked on me with contempt on the account of my unhappy disposition2 and even my servants slighted me1 and disregarded all ,i said to them4 ,i had one sister who was always exceeding fond of me1 and ,i loved her entirely2 her name was ,logwy1 she was quite white1 and fair1 with fine light hair though my father and mother were black4--,i was truly concerned to leave my beloved sister1 and she cry'd most sadly to part with me1 wringing her hands1 and discovered every sign of grief that can be imagined4 ,indeed if ,i could have known when ,i left my friends and country that ,i should never return to them again my misery on that occasion would have been inexpressible4 ,all my relations were sorry to part with me2 my dear mother came with me upon a camel more than three hundred miles1 the first of our journey lay chiefly through woods3 at night we secured ourselves from the wild beasts by making fires all around us2 we and our camels kept within the circle1 or we must have been torn to pieces by the ,lyons1 and other wild creatures1 that roared terribly as soon as night came on1 and continued to do so 'till morning4--,there can be little said in favour of the country through which we passed2 only a valley of marble that we came through which is unspeakably beautiful4--,on each side of this valley are exceedingly high and almost inaccessible mountains--,some of these pieces of marble are of prodigious length and breadth but of different sizes and colour1 and shaped in a variety of forms1 in a wonderful manner4--,it is most of it veined with gold mixed with striking and beautiful colours2 so that when the sun darts upon it1 it is as pleasing a sight as can be imagined4--,the merchant that brought me from ,bournou1 was in partnership with another gentleman who accompanied us2 he was very unwilling that he should take me from home1 as1 he said1 he foresaw many difficulties that would attend my going with them4--,he endeavoured to prevail on the merchant to throw me into a very deep pit that was in the valley1 but he refused to listen to him1 and said1 he was resolved to take care of me3 but the other was greatly dissatisfied2 and when we came to a river1 which we were obliged to pass through1 he purpos'd throwing me in and drowning me2 but the ,merchant would not consent to it1 so that ,i was preserv'd4 ,we travel'd 'till about four o'clock every day1 and then began to make preparations for night1 by cutting down large quantities of wood1 to make fires to preserve us from the wild beasts4--,i had a very unhappy and discontented journey1 being in continual fear that the people ,i was with would murder me4 ,i often reflected with extreme regret on the kind friends ,i had left1 and the idea of my dear mother frequently drew tears from my eyes4--,i cannot recollect how long we were in going from ,bournou to the ,gold ,coast2 but as there is no shipping nearer to ,bournou than that ,city1 it was tedious in travelling so far by land1 being upwards of a thousand miles4--,i was heartily rejoic'd when we arriv'd at the end of our journey3 ,i now vainly imagin'd that all my troubles and inquietudes would terminate here2 but could ,i have looked into futurity1 ,i should have perceiv'd that ,i had much more to suffer than ,i had before experienc'd1 and that they had as yet but barely commenc'd4 ,i was now more than a thousand miles from home1 without a friend or any means to procure one4 ,soon after ,i came to the merchant's house ,i heard the drums beat remarkably loud1 and the trumpets blow--the persons accustom'd to this employ1 are oblig'd to go upon a very high structure appointed for that purpose1 that the sound might be heard at a great distance3 ,they are higher than the steeples are in ,england4 ,i was mightily pleas'd with sounds so entirely new to me1 and was very inquisitive to know the cause of this rejoicing1 and ask'd many questions concerning it3 ,i was answer'd that it was meant as a compliment to me1 because ,i was ,grandson to the ,king of ,bournou4 ,this account gave me a secret pleasure2 but ,i was not suffer'd long to enjoy this satisfaction1 for in the evening of the same day1 two of the merchant's sons 7boys about my own age7 came running to me1 and told me1 that the next day ,i was to die1 for the ,king intended to behead me4--,i reply'd that ,i was sure it could not be true1 for that ,i came there to play with them1 and to see houses walk upon the water with wings to them1 and the white folks2 but ,i was soon inform'd that their ,king imagined that ,i was sent by my father as a spy1 and would make such discoveries at my return home that would enable them to make war with the greater advantage to ourselves2 and for these reasons he had resolved ,i should never return to my native country4--,when ,i heard this ,i suffered misery that cannot be described4--,i wished a thousand times that ,i had never left my friends and country4--,but still the ,almighty was pleased to work miracles for me4 ,the morning ,i was to die1 ,i was washed and all my gold ornaments made bright and shining1 and then carried to the palace1 where the ,king was to behead me himself 7as is the custom of the place74--,he was seated upon a throne at the top of an exceeding large yard1 or court1 which you must go through to enter the palace1 it is as wide and spacious as a large field in ,england4--,i had a lane of lifeguards to go through4--,i guessed it to be about three hundred paces4 ,i was conducted by my friend1 the merchant1 about half way up2 then he durst proceed no further3 ,i went up to the ,king alone--,i went with an undaunted courage1 and it pleased ,god to melt the heart of the ,king1 who sat with his scymitar in his hand ready to behead me2 yet1 being himself so affected1 he dropped it out of his hand1 and took me upon his knee and wept over me4 ,i put my right hand round his neck1 and prest him to my heart4--,he sat me down and blest me2 and added that he would not kill me1 and that ,i should not go home1 but be sold1 for a slave1 so then ,i was conducted back again to the merchant's house4 ,the next day he took me on board a ,french brig2 but the ,captain did not chuse to buy me3 he said ,i was too small2 so the merchant took me home with him again4 ,the partner1 whom ,i have spoken of as my enemy1 was very angry to see me return1 and again purposed putting an end to my life2 for he represented to the other1 that ,i should bring them into troubles and difficulties1 and that ,i was so little that no person would buy me4 ,the merchant's resolution began to waver1 and ,i was indeed afraid that ,i should be put to death3 but however he said he would try me once more4 ,a few days after a ,dutch ship came into the harbour1 and they carried me on board1 in hopes that the ,captain would purchase me4--,as they went1 ,i heard them agree1 that1 if they could not sell me then1 they would throw me overboard4--,i was in extreme agonies when ,i heard this2 and as soon as ever ,i saw the ,dutch ,captain1 ,i ran to him1 and put my arms round him1 and said1 father1 save me4 7for ,i knew that if he did not buy me1 ,i should be treated very ill1 or1 possibly1 murdered7 ,and though he did not understand my language1 yet it pleased the ,almighty to influence him in my behalf1 and he bought me for two yards of check1 which is of more value there1 than in ,england4 ,when ,i left my dear mother ,i had a large quantity of gold about me1 as is the custom of our country1 it was made into rings1 and they were linked into one another1 and formed into a kind of chain1 and so put round my neck1 and arms and legs1 and a large piece hanging at one ear almost in the shape of a pear4 ,i found all this troublesome1 and was glad when my new ,master took it from me--,i was now washed1 and clothed in the ,dutch or ,english manner4--,my master grew very fond of me1 and ,i loved him exceedingly4 ,i watched every look1 was always ready when he wanted me1 and endeavoured to convince him1 by every action1 that my only pleasure was to serve him well4--,i have since thought that he must have been a serious man4 ,his actions corresponded very well with such a character4--,he used to read prayers in public to the ship's crew every ,sabbath day2 and when first ,i saw him read1 ,i was never so surprised in my whole life as when ,i saw the book talk to my master2 for ,i thought it did1 as ,i observed him to look upon it1 and move his lips4--,i wished it would do so to me4--,as soon as my master had done reading ,i follow'd him to the place where he put the book1 being mightily delighted with it1 and when nobody saw me1 ,i open'd it and put my ear down close upon it1 in great hope that it wou'd say something to me2 but was very sorry and greatly disappointed when ,i found it would not speak1 this thought immediately presented itself to me1 that every body and every thing despis'd me because ,i was black4 ,i was exceedingly sea-sick at first2 but when ,i became more accustom'd to the sea1 it wore off4--,my master's ship was bound for ,barbadoes4 ,when we came there1 he thought fit to speak of me to several gentlemen of his acquaintance1 and one of them exprest a particular desire to see me4--,he had a great mind to buy me2 but the ,captain could not immediately be prevail'd on to part with me2 but however1 as the gentleman seem'd very solicitous1 he at length let me go1 and ,i was sold for fifty dollars 7four and sixpenny-pieces in ,english74 ,my new master's name was ,vanhorn1 a young ,gentleman2 his home was in ,new-,england in the ,city of ,new-,york2 to which place he took me with him4 ,he dress'd me in his livery1 and was very good to me4 ,my chief business was to wait at table1 and tea1 and clean knives1 and ,i had a very easy place2 but the servants us'd to curse and swear surprizingly2 which ,i learnt faster than any thing1 'twas almost the first ,english ,i could speak4 ,if any of them affronted me1 ,i was sure to call upon ,god to damn them immediately2 but ,i was broke of it all at once1 occasioned by the correction of an old black servant that liv'd in the family--,one day ,i had just clean'd the knives for dinner1 when one of the maids took one to cut bread and butter with2 ,i was very angry with her1 and called upon ,god to damn her2 when this old black man told me ,i must not say so4 ,i ask'd him why8 ,he replied there was a wicked man call'd the ,devil1 that liv'd in hell1 and would take all that said these words1 and put them in the fire and burn them4--,this terrified me greatly1 and ,i was entirely broke of swearing4--,soon after this1 as ,i was placing the china for tea1 my mistress came into the room just as the maid had been cleaning it2 the girl had unfortunately sprinkled the wainscot with the mop2 at which my mistress was angry2 the girl very foolishly answer'd her again1 which made her worse1 and she call'd upon ,god to damn her4--,i was vastly concern'd to hear this1 as she was a fine young lady1 and very good to me1 insomuch that ,i could not help speaking to her1 ,madam1 says ,i1 you must not say so1 ,why1 says she8 ,because there is a black man call'd the ,devil that lives in hell1 and he will put you in the fire and burn you1 and ,i shall be very sorry for that4 ,who told you this replied my lady8 ,old ,ned1 says ,i4 ,very well was all her answer2 but she told my master of it1 and he order'd that old ,ned should be tyed up and whipp'd1 and was never suffer'd to come into the kitchen with the rest of the servants afterwards4--,my mistress was not angry with me1 but rather diverted with my simplicity and1 by way of talk1 ,she repeated what ,i had said1 to many of her acquaintance that visited her2 among the rest1 ,mr4 ,freelandhouse1 a very gracious1 good ,minister1 heard it1 and he took a great deal of notice of me1 and desired my master to part with me to him4 ,he would not hear of it at first1 but1 being greatly persuaded1 he let me go1 and ,mr4 ,freelandhouse gave #ej4 for me4--,he took me home with him1 and made me kneel down1 and put my two hands together1 and pray'd for me1 and every night and morning he did the same4--,i could not make out what it was for1 nor the meaning of it1 nor what they spoke to when they talk'd--,i thought it comical1 but ,i lik'd it very well4--,after ,i had been a little while with my new master ,i grew more familiar1 and ask'd him the meaning of prayer3 7,i could hardly speak english to be understood7 he took great pains with me1 and made me understand that he pray'd to ,god1 who liv'd in ,heaven2 that ,he was my ,father and best ,friend4--,i told him that this must be a mistake2 that my father liv'd at ,bournou1 and ,i wanted very much to see him1 and likewise my dear mother1 and sister1 and ,i wish'd he would be so good as to send me home to them2 and ,i added1 all ,i could think of to induce him to convey me back4 ,i appeared in great trouble1 and my good master was so much affected that the tears ran down his face4 ,he told me that ,god was a ,great and ,good ,spirit1 that ,he created all the world1 and every person and thing in it1 in ,ethiopia1 ,africa1 and ,america1 and every where4 ,i was delighted when ,i heard this3 ,there1 says ,i1 ,i always thought so when ,i liv'd at home6 ,now if ,i had wings like an ,eagle ,i would fly to tell my dear mother that ,god is greater than the sun1 moon1 and stars2 and that they were made by ,him4 ,i was exceedingly pleas'd with this information of my master's1 because it corresponded so well with my own opinion2 ,i thought now if ,i could but get home1 ,i should be wiser than all my country-folks1 my grandfather1 or father1 or mother1 or any of them--,but though ,i was somewhat enlighten'd by this information of my master's1 yet1 ,i had no other knowledge of ,god but that ,he was a ,good ,spirit1 and created every body1 and every thing--,i never was sensible in myself1 nor had any one ever told me1 that ,he would punish the wicked1 and love the just4 ,i was only glad that ,i had been told there was a ,god because ,i had always thought so4 ,my dear kind master grew very fond of me1 as was his ,lady2 she put me to ,school1 but ,i was uneasy at that1 and did not like to go2 but my master and mistress requested me to learn in the gentlest terms1 and persuaded me to attend my school without any anger at all2 that1 at last1 ,i came to like it better1 and learnt to read pretty well4 ,my schoolmaster was a good man1 his name was ,vanosdore1 and very indulgent to me4--,i was in this state when1 one ,sunday1 ,i heard my master preach from these words out of the ,revelations1 chap4 i4 v4 #g4 ,behold1 ,he cometh in the clouds and every eye shall see him and they that pierc'd ,him4 ,these words affected me excessively2 ,i was in great agonies because ,i thought my master directed them to me only2 and1 ,i fancied1 that he observ'd me with unusual earnestness--,i was farther confirm'd in this belief as ,i look'd round the church1 and could see no one person beside myself in such grief and distress as ,i was2 ,i began to think that my master hated me1 and was very desirous to go home1 to my own country2 for ,i thought that if ,god did come 7as he said7 ,he would be sure to be most angry with me1 as ,i did not know what ,he was1 nor had ever heard of him before4 ,i went home in great trouble1 but said nothing to any body4--,i was somewhat afraid of my master2 ,i thought he disliked me4--,the next text ,i heard him preach from was1 ,heb4 xii4 #ad4 follow peace with all men1 and holiness1 without which no man shall see the ,,lord4 he preached the law so severely1 that it made me tremble4--he said1 that ,,god would judge the whole world2 ,ethiopia1 ,asia1 and ,africa1 and every where4--,i was now excessively perplexed1 and undetermined what to do2 as ,i had now reason to believe my situation would be equally bad to go1 as to stay4--,i kept these thoughts to myself1 and said nothing to any person whatever4 ,i should have complained to my good mistress of this great trouble of mind1 but she had been a little strange to me for several days before this happened1 occasioned by a story told of me by one of the maids4 ,the servants were all jealous1 and envied me the regard1 and favour shewn me by my master and mistress2 and the ,devil being always ready1 and diligent in wickedness1 had influenced this girl1 to make a lye on me4--,this happened about hay-harvest1 and one day when ,i was unloading the waggon to put the hay into the barn1 she watched an opportunity1 in my absence1 to take the fork out of the stick1 and hide it3 when ,i came again to my work1 and could not find it1 ,i was a good deal vexed1 but ,i concluded it was dropt somewhere among the hay2 so ,i went and bought another with my own money3 when the girl saw that ,i had another1 she was so malicious that she told my mistress ,i was very unfaithful1 and not the person she took me for2 and that she knew1 ,i had1 without my master's permission1 order'd many things in his name1 that he must pay for2 and as a proof of my carelessness produc'd the fork she had taken out of the stick1 and said1 she had found it out of doors--,my ,lady1 not knowing the truth of these things1 was a little shy to me1 till she mention'd it1 and then ,i soon cleared myself1 and convinc'd her that these accusations were false4 ,i continued in a most unhappy state for many days4 ,my good mistress insisted on knowing what was the matter4 ,when ,i made known my situation she gave me ,john ,bunyan on the holy war1 to read2 ,i found his experience similar to my own1 which gave me reason to suppose he must be a bad man2 as ,i was convinc'd of my own corrupt nature1 and the misery of my own heart3 and as he acknowledg'd that he was likewise in the same condition1 ,i experienc'd no relief at all in reading his work1 but rather the reverse4--,i took the book to my lady1 and inform'd her ,i did not like it at all1 it was concerning a wicked man as bad as myself2 and ,i did not chuse to read it1 and ,i desir'd her to give me another1 wrote by a better man that was holy and without sin4--,she assur'd me that ,john ,bunyan was a good man1 but she could not convince me2 ,i thought him to be too much like myself to be upright1 as his experience seem'd to answer with my own4 ,i am very sensible that nothing but the great power and unspeakable mercies of the ,lord could relieve my soul from the heavy burden it laboured under at that time4--,a few days after my master gave me ,baxter's ,call to the unconverted4 ,this was no relief to me neither2 on the contrary it occasioned as much distress in me as the other had before done1 as it invited all to come to ,christ and ,i found myself so wicked and miserable that ,i could not come--,this consideration threw me into agonies that cannot be described2 insomuch that ,i even attempted to put an end to my life--,i took one of the large case-knives1 and went into the stable with an intent to destroy myself2 and as ,i endeavoured with all my strength to force the knife into my side1 it bent double4 ,i was instantly struck with horror at the thought of my own rashness1 and my conscience told me that had ,i succeeded in this attempt ,i should probably have gone to hell4 ,i could find no relief1 nor the least shadow of comfort2 the extreme distress of my mind so affected my health that ,i continued very ill for three ,days1 and ,nights2 and would admit of no means to be taken for my recovery1 though my lady was very kind1 and sent many things to me2 but ,i rejected every means of relief and wished to die--,i would not go into my own bed1 but lay in the stable upon straw--,i felt all the horrors of a troubled conscience1 so hard to be born1 and saw all the vengeance of ,god ready to overtake me--,i was sensible that there was no way for me to be saved unless ,i came to ,christ1 and ,i could not come to ,him3 ,i thought that it was impossible ,he should receive such a sinner as me4 ,the last night that ,i continued in this place1 in the midst of my distress these words were brought home upon my mind1 ,behold the ,lamb of ,god4 ,i was something comforted at this1 and began to grow easier and wished for day that ,i might find these words in my bible--,i rose very early the following morning1 and went to my school-master1 ,mr4 ,vanosdore1 and communicated the situation of my mind to him2 he was greatly rejoiced to find me enquiring the way to ,zion1 and blessed the ,lord who had worked so wonderfully for me a poor heathen4--,i was more familiar with this good gentleman than with my master1 or any other person2 and found myself more at liberty to talk to him3 he encouraged me greatly1 and prayed with me frequently1 and ,i was always benefited by his discourse4 ,about a quarter of a mile from my ,master's house stood a large remarkably fine ,oak-tree1 in the midst of a wood2 ,i often used to be employed there in cutting down trees1 7a work ,i was very fond of7 ,i seldom failed going to this place every day2 sometimes twice a day if ,i could be spared4 ,it was the highest pleasure ,i ever experienced to set under this ,oak2 for there ,i used to pour out all my complaints to the ,,lord3 and when ,i had any particular grievance ,i used to go there1 and talk to the tree1 and tell my sorrows1 as if it had been to a friend4 ,here ,i often lamented my own wicked heart1 and undone state2 and found more comfort and consolation than ,i ever was sensible of before4--,whenever ,i was treated with ridicule or contempt1 ,i used to come here and find peace4 ,i now began to relish the book my ,master gave me1 ,baxter's ,call to the unconverted1 and took great delight in it4 ,i was always glad to be employ'd in cutting wood1 'twas a great part of my business1 and ,i follow'd it with delight1 as ,i was then quite alone and my heart lifted up to ,,god1 and ,i was enabled to pray continually2 and blessed for ever be his ,holy ,name1 he faithfully answer'd my prayers4 ,i can never be thankful enough to ,almighty ,,god for the many comfortable opportunities ,i experienced there4 ,it is possible the circumstance ,i am going to relate will not gain credit with many2 but this ,i know1 that the joy and comfort it conveyed to me1 cannot be expressed and only conceived by those who have experienced the like4 ,i was one day in a most delightful frame of mind2 my heart so overflowed with love and gratitude to the ,author of all my comforts4--,i was so drawn out of myself1 and so fill'd and awed by the ,presence of ,god that ,i saw 7or thought ,i saw7 light inexpressible dart down from heaven upon me1 and shone around me for the space of a minute4--,i continued on my knees1 and joy unspeakable took possession of my soul4--,the peace and serenity which filled my mind after this was wonderful1 and cannot be told4--,i would not have changed situations1 or been any one but myself for the whole world4 ,i blest ,god for my poverty1 that ,i had no worldly riches or grandeur to draw my heart from ,him4 ,i wish'd at that time1 if it had been possible for me1 to have continued on that spot for ever4 ,i felt an unwillingness in myself to have any thing more to do with the world1 or to mix with society again4 ,i seemed to possess a full assurance that my sins were forgiven me4 ,i went home all my way rejoicing1 and this text of scripture came full upon my mind4 ,and ,i will make an everlasting covenant with them1 that ,i will not turn away from them1 to do them good2 but ,i will put my fear in their hearts that they shall not depart from me4 ,the first opportunity that presented itself1 ,i went to my old school-master1 and made known to him the happy state of my soul who joined with me in praise to ,god for his mercy to me the vilest of sinners4--,i was now perfectly easy1 and had hardly a wish to make beyond what ,i possess'd1 when my temporal comforts were all blasted by the death of my dear and worthy ,master ,mr4 ,freelandhouse1 who was taken from this world rather suddenly3 he had but a short illness1 and died of a fever4 ,i held his hand in mine when he departed2 he told me he had given me my freedom4 ,i was at liberty to go where ,i would4--,he added that he had always pray'd for me and hop'd ,i should be kept unto the end4 ,my master left me by his will ten pounds1 and my freedom4 ,i found that if he had lived 'twas his intention to take me with him to ,holland1 as he had often mention'd me to some friends of his there that were desirous to see me2 but ,i chose to continue with my ,mistress who was as good to me as if she had been my mother4 ,the loss of ,mr4 ,freelandhouse distress'd me greatly1 but ,i was render'd still more unhappy by the clouded and perplex'd situation of my mind2 the great enemy of my soul being ready to torment me1 would present my own misery to me in such striking light1 and distress me with doubts1 fears1 and such a deep sense of my own unworthiness1 that after all the comfort and encouragement ,i had received1 ,i was often tempted to believe ,i should be a ,cast-away at last4--,the more ,i saw of the ,beauty and ,glory of ,god1 the more ,i was humbled under a sense of my own vileness4 ,i often repair'd to my old place of prayer2 ,i seldom came away without consolation4 ,one day this ,scripture was wonderfully apply'd to my mind1 ,and ye are compleat in ,him which is the ,head of all principalities and power4--,the ,lord was pleas'd to comfort me by the application of many gracious promises at times when ,i was ready to sink under my troubles4 ,wherefore ,he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto ,god by ,him seeing ,he ever liveth to make intercession for them4 ,hebrews x4 ver4 #ad4 ,for by one offering ,he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified4 ,my kind1 indulgent ,mistress liv'd but two years after my ,master4 ,her death was a great affliction to me4 ,she left five sons1 all gracious young men1 and ,ministers of the ,gospel4--,i continued with them all1 one after another1 till they died2 they liv'd but four years after their parents4 ,when it pleased ,god to take them to ,himself1 ,i was left quite destitute1 without a friend in the world4 ,but ,i who had so often experienced the ,goodness of ,,god1 trusted in ,him to do what ,he pleased with me4--,in this helpless condition ,i went in the wood to prayer as usual2 and tho' the snow was a considerable height1 ,i was not sensible of cold1 or any other inconveniency4--,at times indeed when ,i saw the world frowning round me1 ,i was tempted to think that the ,,lord had forsaken me4 ,i found great relief from the contemplation of these words in ,isaiah xlix4 v4 #af4 ,behold ,i have graven thee on the palms of my hands2 thy walls are continually before me4 ,and very many comfortable promises were sweetly applied to me4 ,the lxxxix4 ,psalm and #cdth verse1 ,my covenant will ,i not break nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips4 ,hebrews1 chap4 xvi4 v4 #ag1 #ah4 ,phillipians1 chap4 i4 v4 #f2 and several more4 ,as ,i had now lost all my dear and valued friends every place in the world was alike to me4 ,i had for a great while entertain'd a desire to come to ,england4--,i imagined that all the ,inhabitants of this ,island were ,holy2 because all those that had visited my ,master from thence were good1 7,mr4 ,whitefield was his particular friend7 and the authors of the books that had been given me were all ,english4 ,but above all places in the world ,i wish'd to see ,kidderminster1 for ,i could not but think that on the spot where ,mr4 ,baxter had liv'd1 and preach'd1 the people must be all ,righteous4 ,the situation of my affairs requir'd that ,i should tarry a little longer in ,new-,york1 as ,i was something in debt1 and was embarrass'd how to pay it4--,about this time a young ,gentleman that was a particular acquaintance of one of my young ,master's1 pretended to be a friend to me1 and promis'd to pay my debts1 which was three pounds2 and he assur'd me he would never expect the money again4--,but1 in less than a month1 he came and demanded it2 and when ,i assur'd him ,i had nothing to pay1 he threatened to sell me4--,though ,i knew he had no right to do that1 yet as ,i had no friend in the world to go to1 it alarm'd me greatly4--,at length he purpos'd my going a ,privateering1 that ,i might by these means1 be enabled to pay him1 to which ,i agreed4--,our ,captain's name was ---- ,i went in ,character of ,cook to him4--,near ,st4 ,domingo we came up to five ,french ships1 ,merchant-men4--,we had a very smart engagement that continued from eight in the morning till three in the afternoon2 when victory declar'd on our side4--,soon after this we were met by three ,english ships which join'd us1 and that encourag'd us to attack a fleet of #cf ,ships4--,we boarded the three first and then follow'd the others2 and had the same success with twelve2 but the rest escap'd us4--,there was a great deal of blood shed1 and ,i was near death several times1 but the ,,lord preserv'd me4 ,i met with many enemies1 and much persecution1 among the sailors2 one of them was particularly unkind to me1 and studied ways to vex and teaze me4--,i can't help mentioning one circumstance that hurt me more than all the rest1 which was1 that he snatched a book out of my hand that ,i was very fond of1 and used frequently to amuse myself with1 and threw it into the sea4--,but what is remarkable he was the first that was killed in our engagement4--,i don't pretend to say that this happen'd because he was not my friend3 but ,i thought 'twas a very awful ,providence to see how the enemies of the ,,lord are cut off4 ,our ,captain was a cruel hard-hearted man4 ,i was excessively sorry for the prisoners we took in general2 but the pitiable case of one young ,gentleman grieved me to the heart4--,he appear'd very amiable2 was strikingly handsome4 ,our ,captain took four thousand pounds from him2 but that did not satisfy him1 as he imagin'd he was possess'd of more1 and had somewhere conceal'd it1 so that the ,captain threatened him with death1 at which he appear'd in the deepest distress1 and took the buckles out of his shoes1 and untied his hair1 which was very fine1 and long2 and in which several very valuable rings were fasten'd4 ,he came into the ,cabbin to me1 and in the most obliging terms imaginable ask'd for something to eat and drink2 which when ,i gave him1 he was so thankful and pretty in his manner that my heart bled for him2 and ,i heartily wish'd that ,i could have spoken in any language in which the ship's crew would not have understood me2 that ,i might have let him know his danger2 for ,i heard the ,captain say he was resolv'd upon his death2 and he put his barbarous design into execution1 for he took him on shore with one of the sailors1 and there they shot him4 ,this circumstance affected me exceedingly1 ,i could not put him out of my mind a long while4--,when we return'd to ,new-,york the ,captain divided the prize-money among us1 that we had taken4 ,when ,i was call'd upon to receive my part1 ,i waited upon ,mr4 ----1 7the ,gentleman that paid my debt and was the occasion of my going abroad7 to know if he chose to go with me to receive my money or if ,i should bring him what ,i owed4--,he chose to go with me2 and when the ,captain laid my money on the table 7'twas an hundred and thirty-five pounds7 ,i desir'd ,mr4 ---- to take what ,i was indebted to him2 and he swept it all into his handkerchief1 and would never be prevail'd on to give a farthing of money1 nor any thing at all beside4--,and he likewise secur'd a hogshead of sugar which was my due from the same ship4 ,the ,captain was very angry with him for this piece of cruelty to me1 as was every other person that heard it4--,but ,i have reason to believe 7as he was one of the ,principal ,merchants in the city7 that he transacted business for him and on that account did not chuse to quarrel with him4 ,at this time a very worthy ,gentleman1 a ,wine ,merchant1 his name ,dunscum1 took me under his protection1 and would have recovered my money for me if ,i had chose it2 but ,i told him to let it alone2 that ,i wou'd rather be quiet4--,i believed that it would not prosper with him1 and so it happen'd1 for by a series of losses and misfortunes he became poor1 and was soon after drowned1 as he was on a party of pleasure4--,the vessel was driven out to sea1 and struck against a rock by which means every soul perished4 ,i was very much distress'd when ,i heard it1 and felt greatly for his family who were reduc'd to very low circumstances4--,i never knew how to set a proper value on money4 ,if ,i had but a little meat and drink to supply the present necessaries of life1 ,i never wish'd for more2 and when ,i had any ,i always gave it if ever ,i saw an object in distress4 ,if it was not for my dear ,wife and ,children ,i should pay as little regard to money now as ,i did at that time4--,i continu'd some time with ,mr4 ,dunscum as his servant2 he was very kind to me4--,but ,i had a vast inclination to visit ,england1 and wish'd continually that it would please ,providence to make a clear way for me to see this ,island4 ,i entertain'd a notion that if ,i could get to ,england ,i should never more experience either cruelty or ingratitude1 so that ,i was very desirous to get among ,christians4 ,i knew ,mr4 ,whitefield very well4--,i had heard him preach often at ,new-,york4 ,in this disposition ,i listed in the twenty-eighth ,regiment of ,foot1 who were design'd for ,martinico in the late war4--,we went in ,admiral ,pocock's fleet from ,new-,york to ,barbadoes2 from thence to ,martinico4--,when that was taken we proceeded to the ,havannah1 and took that place likewise4--,there ,i got discharged4 ,i was then worth about thirty pounds1 but ,i never regarded money in the least1 nor would ,i tarry to receive my prize-money least ,i should lose my chance of going to ,england4--,i went with the ,spanish prisoners to ,spain2 and came to ,old-,england with the ,english prisoners4--,i cannot describe my joy when we were within sight of ,portsmouth4 ,but ,i was astonished when we landed to hear the inhabitants of that place curse and swear1 and otherwise profane4 ,i expected to find nothing but goodness1 gentleness and meekness in this ,christian ,land1 ,i then suffer'd great perplexities of mind4 ,i enquir'd if any serious ,christian people resided there1 the woman ,i made this enquiry of1 answer'd me in the affirmative2 and added that she was one of them4--,i was heartily glad to hear her say so4 ,i thought ,i could give her my whole heart3 she kept a ,public-,house4 ,i deposited with her all the money that ,i had not an immediate occasion for2 as ,i thought it would be safer with her4--,it was #be guineas but #f of them ,i desired her to lay out to the best advantage1 to buy me some shirts1 hat and some other necessaries4 ,i made her a present of a very handsome large looking glass that ,i brought with me from ,martinico1 in order to recompence her for the trouble ,i had given her4 ,i must do this woman the justice to acknowledge that she did lay out some little for my use1 but the #ai guineas and part of the #f1 with my watch1 she would not return1 but denied that ,i ever gave it her4 ,i soon perceived that ,i was got among bad people1 who defrauded me of my money and watch2 and that all my promis'd happiness was blasted1 ,i had no friend but ,,god and ,i pray'd to ,him earnestly4 ,i could scarcely believe it possible that the place where so many eminent ,christians had lived and preached could abound with so much wickedness and deceit4 ,i thought it worse than ,sodom 7considering the great advantages they have7 ,i cryed like a child and that almost continually3 at length ,,god heard my prayers and rais'd me a friend indeed4 ,this publican had a brother who lived on ,portsmouth-common1 his wife was a very serious good woman4--,when she heard of the treatment ,i had met with1 she came and enquired into my real situation and was greatly troubled at the ill usage ,i had received1 and took me home to her own house4--,i began now to rejoice1 and my prayer was turned into praise4 ,she made use of all the arguments in her power to prevail on her who had wronged me1 to return my watch and money1 but it was to no purpose1 as she had given me no receipt and ,i had nothing to show for it1 ,i could not demand it4--,my good friend was excessively angry with her and obliged her to give me back four guineas1 which she said she gave me out of charity3 ,though in fact it was my own1 and much more4 ,she would have employed some rougher means to oblige her to give up my money1 but ,i would not suffer her1 let it go says ,i ,my ,,god is in heaven4 ,still ,i did not mind my loss in the least2 all that grieved me was1 that ,i had been disappointed in finding some ,christian friends1 with whom ,i hoped to enjoy a little sweet and comfortable society4 ,i thought the best method that ,i could take now1 was to go to ,london1 and find out ,mr4 ,whitefield1 who was the only living soul ,i knew in ,england1 and get him to direct me to some way or other to procure a living without being troublesome to any ,person4--,i took leave of my ,christian friend at ,portsmouth1 and went in the stage to ,london4--,a creditable tradesman in the ,city1 who went up with me in the stage1 offer'd to show me the way to ,mr4 ,whitefield's ,tabernacle4 ,knowing that ,i was a perfect stranger1 ,i thought it very kind1 and accepted his offer2 but he obliged me to give him half-a-crown for going with me1 and likewise insisted on my giving him five shillings more for conducting me to ,dr4 ,gifford's ,meeting4 ,i began now to entertain a very different idea of the inhabitants of ,england than what ,i had figur'd to myself before ,i came amongst them4--,mr4 ,whitefield receiv'd me very friendly1 was heartily glad to see me1 and directed me to a proper place to board and lodge in ,petticoat-,lane1 till he could think of some way to settle me in1 and paid for my lodging1 and all my expences4 ,the morning after ,i came to my new lodging1 as ,i was at breakfast with the gentlewoman of the house1 ,i heard the noise of some looms over our heads3 ,i enquir'd what it was2 she told me a person was weaving silk4--,i express'd a great desire to see it1 and ask'd if ,i might3 ,she told me she would go up with me2 she was sure ,i should be very welcome4 ,she was as good as her word1 and as soon as we enter'd the room1 the person that was weaving look'd about1 and smiled upon us1 and ,i loved her from that moment4--,she ask'd me many questions1 and ,i in turn talk'd a great deal to her4 ,i found she was a member of ,mr4 ,allen's ,meeting1 and ,i begun to entertain a good opinion of her1 though ,i was almost afraid to indulge this inclination1 least she should prove like all the rest ,i had met with at ,portsmouth1 c4 and which had almost given me a dislike to all white women4--,but after a short acquaintance ,i had the happiness to find she was very different1 and quite sincere1 and ,i was not without hope that she entertain'd some esteem for me4 ,we often went together to hear ,dr4 ,gifford1 and as ,i had always a propensity to relieve every object in distress as far as ,i was able1 ,i used to give to all that complain'd to me2 sometimes half a guinea at a time1 as ,i did not understand the real value of it4--,this gracious1 good woman took great pains to correct and advise me in that and many other respects4 ,after ,i had been in ,london about six weeks ,i was recommended to the notice of some of my late ,master ,mr4 ,freelandhouse's acquaintance1 who had heard him speak frequently of me4 ,i was much persuaded by them to go to ,holland4--,my ,master lived there before he bought me1 and used to speak of me so respectfully among his friends there1 that it raised in them a curiosity to see me2 particularly the ,gentlemen engaged in the ,ministry1 who expressed a desire to hear my experience and examine me4 ,i found that it was my good old ,master's design that ,i should have gone if he had lived2 for which reason ,i resolved upon going to ,holland1 and informed my dear friend ,mr4 ,whitefield of my intention2 he was much averse to my going at first1 but after ,i gave him my reasons appeared very well satisfied4 ,i likewise informed my ,betty 7the good woman that ,i have mentioned above7 of my determination to go to ,holland and ,i told her that ,i believed she was to be my ,wife3 that if it was the ,,lord's ,will ,i desired it1 but not else4--,she made me very little answer1 but has since told me1 she did not think it at that time4 ,i embarked at ,tower-wharf at four o'clock in the morning1 and arriv'd at ,amsterdam the next day by three o'clock in the afternoon4 ,i had several letters of recommendation to my old master's friends1 who receiv'd me very graciously4 ,indeed1 one of the chief ,ministers was particularly good to me2 he kept me at his house a long while1 and took great pleasure in asking questions1 which ,i answer'd with delight1 being always ready to say1 ,come unto me all ye that fear ,,god1 and ,i will tell what he hath done for my ,soul4 ,i cannot but admire the footsteps of ,providence2 astonish'd that ,i should be so wonderfully preserved6 ,though the ,grandson of a ,king1 ,i have wanted bread1 and should have been glad of the hardest crust ,i ever saw4 ,i who1 at home1 was surrounded and guarded by slaves1 so that no indifferent person might approach me1 and clothed with gold1 have been inhumanly threatened with death2 and frequently wanted clothing to defend me from the inclemency of the weather2 yet ,i never murmured1 nor was ,i discontented4--,i am willing1 and even desirous to be counted as nothing1 a stranger in the world1 and a pilgrim here2 for ,i know that my ,redeemer liveth1 and ,i'm thankful for every trial and trouble that ,i've met with1 as ,i am not without hope that they have been all sanctified to me4 ,the ,calvinist ,ministers desired to hear my ,experience from myself1 which proposal ,i was very well pleased with3 ,so ,i stood before #ch ,ministers every ,thursday for seven weeks together1 and they were all very well satisfied1 and persuaded ,i was what ,i pretended to be4--,they wrote down my experience as ,i spoke it2 and the ,lord ,almighty was with me at that time in a remarkable manner1 and gave me words and enabled me to answer them2 so great was his mercy to take me in hand a poor blind heathen4 ,at this time a very rich ,merchant at ,amsterdam offered to take me into his family in the capacity of his ,butler1 and ,i very willingly accepted it4--,he was a gracious worthy ,gentleman and very good to me4--,he treated me more like a friend than a servant4--,i tarried there a twelvemonth but was not thoroughly contented1 ,i wanted to see my wife2 7that is now7 and for that reason ,i wished to return to ,england1 ,i wrote to her once in my absence1 but she did not answer my letter2 and ,i must acknowledge if she had1 it would have given me a less opinion of her4--,my ,master and ,mistress persuaded me much not to leave them and likewise their two ,sons who entertained a good opinion of me2 and if ,i had found my ,betty married on my arrival in ,england1 ,i should have returned to them again immediately4 ,my ,lady purposed my marrying her maid2 she was an agreeable young woman1 had saved a good deal of money1 but ,i could not fancy her1 though she was willing to accept of me1 but ,i told her my inclinations were engaged in ,england1 and ,i could think of no other ,person4--,on my return home1 ,i found my ,betty disengaged4--,she had refused several offers in my absence1 and told her sister that1 she thought1 if ever she married ,i was to be her husband4 ,soon after ,i came home1 ,i waited on ,doctor ,gifford who took me into his family and was exceedingly1 good to me4 ,the character of this pious worthy ,gentleman is well known2 my praise can be of no use or signification at all4--,i hope ,i shall ever gratefully remember the many favours ,i have received from him4--,soon after ,i came to ,doctor ,gifford ,i expressed a desire to be admitted into their ,church1 and set down with them2 they told me ,i must first be baptized2 so ,i gave in my experience before the ,church1 with which they were very well satisfied1 and ,i was baptized by ,doctor ,gifford with some others4 ,i then made known my intentions of being married2 but ,i found there were many objections against it because the person ,i had fixed on was poor4 ,she was a widow1 her husband had left her in debt1 and with a child1 so that they persuaded me against it out of real regard to me4--,but ,i had promised and was resolved to have her2 as ,i knew her to be a gracious woman1 her poverty was no objection to me1 as they had nothing else to say against her4 ,when my friends found that they could not alter my opinion respecting her1 they wrote to ,mr4 ,allen1 the ,minister she attended1 to persuade her to leave me2 but he replied that he would not interfere at all1 that we might do as we would4 ,i was resolved that all my wife's little debt should be paid before we were married2 so that ,i sold almost every thing ,i had and with all the money ,i could raise cleared all that she owed1 and ,i never did any thing with a better will in all my ,life1 because ,i firmly believed that we should be very happy together1 and so it prov'd1 for she was given me from the ,,lord4 ,and ,i have found her a blessed partner1 and we have never repented1 tho' we have gone through many great troubles and difficulties4 ,my wife got a very good living by weaving1 and could do extremely well2 but just at that time there was great disturbance among the weavers2 so that ,i was afraid to let my wife work1 least they should insist on my joining the rioters which ,i could not think of1 and1 possibly1 if ,i had refused to do so they would have knock'd me on the head4--,so that by these means my wife could get no employ1 neither had ,i work enough to maintain my family4 ,we had not yet been married a year before all these misfortunes overtook us4 ,just at this time a gentleman1 that seemed much concerned for us1 advised me to go into ,essex with him and promised to get me employed4--,i accepted his kind proposal1 and he spoke to a friend of his1 a ,quaker1 a gentleman of large fortune1 who resided a little way out of the town of ,colchester1 his name was ,handbarar2 he ordered his steward to set me to work4 ,there were several employed in the same way with myself4 ,i was very thankful and contented though my wages were but small4--,i was allowed but eight pence a day1 and found myself2 but after ,i had been in this situation for a fortnight1 my ,master1 being told that a ,black was at work for him1 had an inclination to see me4 ,he was pleased to talk to me for some time1 and at last enquired what wages ,i had2 when ,i told him he declared1 it was too little1 and immediately ordered his ,steward to let me have eighteen pence a day1 which he constantly gave me after2 and ,i then did extremely well4 ,i did not bring my wife with me3 ,i came first alone and it was my design1 if things answered according to our wishes1 to send for her--,i was now thinking to desire her to come to me when ,i receiv'd a letter to inform me she was just brought to bed and in want of many necessaries4--,this news was a great trial to me and a fresh affliction3 but my ,god1 faithful and abundant in mercy1 forsook me not in this trouble4--,as ,i could not read ,english1 ,i was obliged to apply to some one to read the letter ,i received1 relative to my wife4 ,i was directed by the good ,providence of ,god to a worthy young gentleman1 a ,quaker1 and friend of my ,master4--,i desired he would take the trouble to read my letter for me1 which he readily comply'd with and was greatly moved and affected at the contents2 insomuch that he said he would undertake to make a gathering for me1 which he did and was the first to contribute to it himself4 ,the money was sent that evening to ,london by a person who happen'd to be going there3 nor was this ,all the goodness that ,i experienced from these kind friends1 for1 as soon as my wife came about and was fit to travel1 they sent for her to me1 and were at the whole expence of her coming2 so evidently has the love and mercy of ,god appeared through every trouble that ever ,i experienced4 ,we went on very comfortably all the summer4--,we lived in a little cottage near ,mr4 ,handbarrar's ,house2 but when the winter came on ,i was discharged1 as he had no further occasion for me4 ,and now the prospect began to darken upon us again4 ,we thought it most adviseable to move our habitation a little nearer to the ,town1 as the house we lived in was very cold1 and wet1 and ready to tumble down4 ,the boundless goodness of ,,god to me has been so very great1 that with the most humble gratitude ,i desire to prostrate myself before ,him2 for ,i have been wonderfully supported in every affliction4 ,my ,,god never left me4 ,i perceived light still through the thickest darkness4 ,my dear wife and ,i were now both unemployed1 we could get nothing to do4 ,the winter prov'd remarkably severe1 and we were reduc'd to the greatest distress imaginable4--,i was always very shy of asking for any thing2 ,i could never beg2 neither did ,i chuse to make known our wants to any person1 for fear of offending as we were entire strangers2 but our last bit of bread was gone1 and ,i was obliged to think of something to do for our support4--,i did not mind for myself at all2 but to see my dear wife and children in want pierc'd me to the heart4--,i now blam'd myself for bringing her from ,london1 as doubtless had we continued there we might have found friends to keep us from starving4 ,the snow was at this season remarkably deep2 so that we could see no prospect of being relieved4 ,in this melancholy situation1 not knowing what step to pursue1 ,i resolved to make my case known to a ,gentleman's ,gardiner that lived near us1 and entreat him to employ me3 but when ,i came to him1 my courage failed me1 and ,i was ashamed to make known our real situation4--,i endeavoured all ,i could to prevail on him to set me to work1 but to no purpose3 he assur'd me it was not in his power3 but just as ,i was about to leave him1 he asked me if ,i would accept of some ,carrots8 ,i took them with great thankfulness and carried them home3 he gave me four1 they were very large and fine4--,we had nothing to make fire with1 so consequently could not boil them3 ,but was glad to have them to eat raw4 ,our youngest child was quite an infant2 so that my wife was obliged to chew it1 and fed her in that manner for several days4--,we allowed ourselves but one every day1 least they should not last 'till we could get some other supply4 ,i was unwilling to eat at all myself2 nor would ,i take any the last day that we continued in this situation1 as ,i could not bear the thought that my dear wife and children would be in want of every means of support4 ,we lived in this manner1 'till our carrots were all gone3 then my ,wife began to lament because of our poor babies3 but ,i comforted her all ,i could2 still hoping1 and believing that my ,,god would not let us die3 but that it would please ,him to relieve us1 which ,he did by almost a ,miracle4 ,we went to bed1 as usual1 before it was quite dark1 7as we had neither fire nor candle7 but had not been there long before some person knocked at the door enquir'd if ,james ,albert lived there8 ,i answer'd in the affirmative1 and rose immediately2 as soon as ,i open'd the door ,i found it was the servant of an eminent ,attorney who resided at ,colchester4--,he ask'd me how it was with me8 if ,i was not almost starv'd8 ,i burst out a crying1 and told him ,i was indeed4 ,he said his master suppos'd so1 and that he wanted to speak with me1 and ,i must return with him4 ,this ,gentleman's name was ,danniel1 he was a sincere1 good ,christian4 ,he used to stand and talk with me frequently when ,i work'd in the road for ,mr4 ,handbarrar1 and would have employed me himself1 if ,i had wanted work4--,when ,i came to his house he told me that he had thought a good deal about me of late1 and was apprehensive that ,i must be in want1 and could not be satisfied till he sent to enquire after me4 ,i made known my distress to him1 at which he was greatly affected2 and generously gave me a guinea2 and promis'd to be kind to me in future4 ,i could not help exclaiming4 ,o the boundless mercies of my ,god6 ,i pray'd unto ,him1 and ,he has heard me2 ,i trusted in ,him and ,he has preserv'd me3 where shall ,i begin to praise ,him1 or how shall ,i love ,him enough8 ,i went immediately and bought some bread and cheese and coal and carried it home4 ,my dear wife was rejoiced to see me return with something to eat4 ,she instantly got up and dressed our ,babies1 while ,i made a fire1 and the first ,nobility in the land never made a more comfortable meal4--,we did not forget to thank the ,,lord for all his goodness to us4--,soon after this1 as the spring came on1 ,mr4 ,peter ,daniel employed me in helping to pull down a house1 and rebuilding it4 ,i had then very good work1 and full employ3 he sent for my wife1 and children to ,colchester1 and provided us a house where we lived very comfortably4--,i hope ,i shall always gratefully acknowledge his kindness to myself and family4 ,i worked at this house for more than a year1 till it was finished2 and after that ,i was employed by several successively1 and was never so happy as when ,i had something to do2 but perceiving the winter coming on1 and work rather slack1 ,i was apprehensive that we should again be in want or become troublesome to our friends4 ,i had at this time an offer made me of going to ,norwich and having constant employ4--,my wife seemed pleased with this proposal1 as she supposed she might get work there in the weaving-manufactory1 being the business she was brought up to1 and more likely to succeed there than any other place2 and we thought as we had an opportunity of moving to a ,town where we could both be employ'd it was most adviseable to do so2 and that probably we might settle there for our lives4--,when this step was resolv'd on1 ,i went first alone to see how it would answer2 which ,i very much repented after1 for it was not in my power immediately to send my wife any supply1 as ,i fell into the hands of a ,master that was neither kind nor considerate2 and she was reduced to great distress1 so that she was oblig'd to sell the few goods that we had1 and when ,i sent for her was under the disagreeable necessity of parting with our bed4 ,when she came to ,norwich ,i hired a room ready furnished4--,i experienced a great deal of difference in the carriage of my ,master from what ,i had been accustomed to from some of my other ,masters4 ,he was very irregular in his payments to me4--,my wife hired a loom and wove all the leisure time she had and we began to do very well1 till we were overtaken by fresh misfortunes4 ,our three poor children fell ill of the small pox2 this was a great trial to us2 but still ,i was persuaded in myself we should not be forsaken4--,and ,i did all in my power to keep my dear partner's spirits from sinking4 ,her whole attention now was taken up with the children as she could mind nothing else1 and all ,i could get was but little to support a family in such a situation1 beside paying for the hire of our room1 which ,i was obliged to omit doing for several weeks3 but the woman to whom we were indebted would not excuse us1 tho' ,i promised she should have the very first money we could get after my children came about1 but she would not be satisfied and had the cruelty to threaten us that if we did not pay her immediately she would turn us all into the street4 ,the apprehension of this plunged me in the deepest distress1 considering the situation of my poor babies3 if they had been in health ,i should have been less sensible of this misfortune4 ,but ,my ,,god1 still faithful to his promise1 raised me a friend4 ,mr4 ,henry ,gurdney1 a ,quaker1 a gracious gentleman heard of our distress1 he sent a servant of his own to the woman we hired the room of1 paid our rent1 and bought all the goods with my wife's loom and gave it us all4 ,some other gentlemen1 hearing of his design1 were pleased to assist him in these generous acts1 for which we never can be thankful enough2 after this my children soon came about2 we began to do pretty well again2 my dear wife work'd hard and constant when she could get work1 but it was upon a disagreeable footing as her employ was so uncertain1 sometimes she could get nothing to do and at other times when the weavers of ,norwich had orders from ,london they were so excessively hurried1 that the people they employ'd were often oblig'd to work on the ,sabbath-day2 but this my wife would never do1 and it was matter of uneasiness to us that we could not get our living in a regular manner1 though we were both diligent1 industrious1 and willing to work4 ,i was far from being happy in my ,master1 he did not use me well4 ,i could scarcely ever get my money from him2 but ,i continued patient 'till it pleased ,,god to alter my situation4 ,my worthy friend ,mr4 ,gurdney advised me to follow the employ of chopping chaff1 and bought me an instrument for that purpose4 ,there were but few people in the town that made this their business beside myself2 so that ,i did very well indeed and we became easy and happy4--,but we did not continue long in this comfortable state3 ,many of the inferior people were envious and ill-natur'd and set up the same employ and work'd under price on purpose to get my business from me1 and they succeeded so well that ,i could hardly get any thing to do1 and became again unfortunate3 ,nor did this misfortune come alone1 for just at this time we lost one of our little girls who died of a fever2 this circumstance occasion'd us new troubles1 for the ,baptist ,minister refused to bury her because we were not their members4 ,the ,parson of the parish denied us because she had never been baptized4 ,i applied to the ,quakers1 but met with no success2 this was one of the greatest trials ,i ever met with1 as we did not know what to do with our poor baby4--,at length ,i resolv'd to dig a grave in the garden behind the house1 and bury her there2 when the ,parson of the parish sent for me to tell me he would bury the child1 but did not chuse to read the burial service over her4 ,i told him ,i did not mind whether he would or not1 as the child could not hear it4 ,we met with a great deal of ill treatment after this1 and found it very difficult to live4--,we could scarcely get work to do1 and were obliged to pawn our cloaths4 ,we were ready to sink under our troubles4--,when ,i purposed to my wife to go to ,kidderminster and try if we could do there4 ,i had always an inclination for that place1 and now more than ever as ,i had heard ,mr4 ,fawcet mentioned in the most respectful manner1 as a pious worthy ,gentleman2 and ,i had seen his name in a favourite book of mine1 ,baxter's ,saints everlasting rest1 and as the ,manufactory of ,kidderminster seemed to promise my wife some employment1 she readily came into my way of thinking4 ,i left her once more1 and set out for ,kidderminster1 in order to judge if the situation would suit us4--,as soon as ,i came there ,i waited immediately on ,mr4 ,fawcet1 who was pleased to receive me very kindly and recommended me to ,mr4 ,watson who employed me in twisting silk and worsted together4 ,i continued here about a fortnight1 and when ,i thought it would answer our expectation1 ,i returned to ,norwich to fetch my wife2 she was then near her time1 and too much indisposed4 ,so we were obliged to tarry until she was brought to bed1 and as soon as she could conveniently travel we came to ,kidderminster1 but we brought nothing with us as we were obliged to sell all we had to pay our debts and the expences of my wife's illness1 c4 ,such is our situation at present4--,my wife1 by hard labor at the loom1 does every thing that can be expected from her towards the maintenance of our family2 and ,god is pleased to incline the hearts of his ,people at times to yield us their charitable assistance2 being myself through age and infirmity able to contribute but little to their support4 ,as ,pilgrims1 and very poor ,pilgrims1 we are travelling through many difficulties towards our ,heavenly ,home1 and waiting patiently for his gracious call1 when the ,lord shall deliver us out of the evils of this present world and bring us to the ,everlasting ,glories of the world to come4--,to ,,him be ,praise for ,ever and ,ever1 ,,amen4 ,,finis4