,,! ,,fun ,,( ,,gett+ ,,?9    ,h[ ,to   
,be ,happy & ,r$uce ! ,wai/ ,l9e    by  
,,samuel ,g4 ,,bly!    ,au?or ( ,cutt+  
,x ,out    ,*icago  ,=bes  ,company     
#aiab                ,,cont5ts          
,,*apt]          ,i4 ,fat         ,,ii4 
,! ,s-,call$ ,cures        ,,iii4 ,fac+ 
! ,tissue          ,,! ,,fun ,,( ,,gett+
 ,,?9      ,,*apt] ,i    ,,fat    ,a fat
 man is a joke2 & a fat woman is two    
jokes--"o on h]self &  ! o!r on h]      
husb&4  ,half ! com$y 9 ! _w is pr$icat$
  on ! paun*4  ,at t1 ! human race is   
divid$ into b two  classes--fat p :o are
 try+ to get ?9 & ?9 p :o are  try+ to  
get fat4    ,fat1 ! doctors say1 is     
fatal4  ,i move to am5d by /rik+ out !  
la/ two lett]s ( ! indictm5t4  ,fat is  
fat4  ,x isn't any m  fatal to be       
reasonably fat ?an to be reasonably ?91 
b x's a  d>n$ sight m uncom=table4  ,s  
f> z be+ unreasonably ?9 or             
unreasonably fat is conc]n$1 ,i suppose 
! ?9 p]son has ! long  end ( x4  ,i nev]
 0 ?91 s ,i don't "k4  ,h[ev]1 ,i h be5 

fat--notice t h be58  ,& if !re is any  
phase ( human  enjoym5t1 any "p ( life1 
any occupation1 avocation1 div]tisem5t1 
pleasure or pa9 :]e ! fat man has !     
bett] ( x 9 any reg>d1  ,i fail$ to     
discov] x 9 ! tw5ty ye>s dur+ :i* ,i    
look$ l  ! re> end ( a hack & _h all !  
bodily *>act]i/ics ( a bale  ( hay4     
,:5 y come to exam9e into ! actuat+     
motives = any l9e (  human endeavor y w 
f9d t vanity figures ab\t n9ety p] c5t1 
directly or indirectly1 9 ! assay4  ,!  
p]sonal equation is !  rul+ equation4   
,wom5 want to be ?9n] because !y w look 
bett]--& s d m54  ,likewise1 wom5 want  
to be plump] because !y  w look bett]--&
 s d m54  ,?is holds up to =ty ye>s4    
,aft]  t x doesn't make mu* diff]5ce    
:e!r ei!r m5 or wom5 look  any bett] ?an
 !y h be5 look+1 s f> z ! great end &   
aim  ( all life is conc]n$4             
,consequ5tly fat m5 & fat wom5 aft]  =ty
 want to be ?9n] = reasons ( heal? &    
com=t1 or quit &  resign !mselves to _! 
fur!r ye>s ( obesity4    ,n[ ,i am ov]  

=ty4  ,h5ce my exp]im5ts 9 r$uction may 
be tak5 at  ?is "t z gr\nd$ on a desire 
= com=t--n t ,i did n make  _m campaigns
 aga9/ my fat be=e ,i 0 =ty4  ,i f\ght x
 n[ &  !n1 b always retreat$ be=e ,i won
 a victory4  ,?is "t1 in/ead  ( skirmi%+
 valiantly = a space & !n be+           
ignom9i\sly &  fatly r\t$ by ! p[]ful   
=ces ( food & dr9k1 ,i hung /olidly  to 
! l9e ( my orig9al attack1 h>ass$ !     
enemy by a con/ant &  deadly fire--& "o 
morn+ discov]$ ,i _h ! foe on ! run4    
,x always makes me laugh to he> p talk  
ab\t los+  fle%--unless1 ( c\rse1 !     
decrease 9 weight is due to illness4    
,no  heal?y p]son1 pr$ispos$ to fat1 ev]
 lo/ any fle%4  ,if t  p]son gets rid ( 
any weight1 or gir?1 or fat1 x isn't    
lo/--x is  f\ght (f1 beat5 (f4  ,!      
victim /ruggles ) x1 goes to ! mat  ) x1
 & does n debonairly drop x4  ,he       
elim9ates x ) /]n  ef=t & mu* travail ( 
! _s4  ,x is a job ( "w1 a gruel+       
combat to ! f9i%1 a task t appalls &    
usually repels4    ,! !ory ( tak+ (f fat

 is ! simple/ !ory 9 ! _w4  ,x  is      
ann\nc$1 9 f\r words3 ,/op eat+ & dr9k+4
  ,! practice (  fat r$uction is ! mo/  
difficult ?+ 9 ! _w4  ,its  difficulties
 are compreh5d$ 9 two words3 ,y _c4  ,! 
fle% is  will+1 b ! _s is weak4  ,!     
success ( ! und]tak+ lies  9 ! triumph (
 ! w ov] ! appetite4  ,!re's a lovely   
l9e (  cant = y6  ,triumph ( ! w ov] !  
appetite4  ,x s\nds l  ! prea*+ ( a     
pr(essional food faddi/1 :o tells ! p !y
  eat too mu* & !n slips away & wolfs   
d[n f\r p\nds (  beef/eak at a sitt+4   
,h[ev]1 ,i suppose x is necess>y to say 
?is  once 9 a diss]tation l ?is--& x is 
said4    ,9 writ+ ab\t ?is successful   
exp]im5t ( m9e 9 r$uc+ weight  ,i h no  
!ories to advance except "o1 & no       
in/ructions to give4  ,i don't "k :e!r  
my me?od w\ld take an ounce (f any o!r  
p]son  9 ! _w1 & ,i don't c>e4  ,i only 
"k x took m ?an fifty  p\nds (f me4  ,i 
am n advanc+ any argum5t1 m$ic9al or    
o!rwise1 = my plan4  ,i nev] talk$ to a 
doctor ab\t x1 & nev]  %all4  ,if !re   

are fat m5 & fat wom5 :o are fat = !    
same  reasons ,i 0 fat ,i suppose !y c  
get ?9 ! way ,i got ?94  ,if  !y are fat
 = o!r reasons ,i suppose !y _c4  ,i    
don't "k  ab\t ei!r proposition4    ,i h
 great respect = doctors--s mu* respect1
 9 fact1 t ,i keep  dilig5tly away f !m4
  ,i "k ! prelim9>ies ( _! game &  c    
take a dose ( m$ic9e myself z skillfully
 z !y c adm9i/]  x4  ,also1 ,i "k :5 ,i 
h a fev]1 & h a work+ k (  h[ my he>t   
%\ld beat & my o!r bodily functions be  
p]=m$4  ,i  h frequ5tly f\nd t a        
prescription1 un9telligibly writt5 b    
look+ v wise1 is highly efficaci\s :5   
fold$ c>efully & put  9 ! pocketbook    
in/ead ( be+ deposit$ ) a druggi/4  ,i  
suppose t comes f a sort ( h]$it>y fai? 
9 amulets4  ,no  d\bt ! me?od w\ld be   
ev5 m efficaci\s if ! prescription  7   
ti$ on a /r+ & hung ar\nd ! neck4  ,i   
%all try t "s  "t :5 my wife lugs 9 a   
doctor on me4    ,/ill1 doctors are     
int]e/+ z a class4  ,aft] y get beyond !
  let-me-feel-y\r-pulse-&-see-y\r-tongue

 prelim9>ies !y are  v]satile & +5i\s4  
,almo/ always1 aft] y tell !m :at is  ! 
matt] ) y1 !y w "k--n e "t1 b frequ5tly4
  ,also1 !y w take any sort ( a *ance ) 
y 9 ! int]e/ (  sci5ce4  ,h[ev]1 !y     
g5]ally s5d out = a speciali/ :5 !y  are
 ill !mselves4  ,:5 y come to ?9k ( x t 
is b natural4  ,almo/ any man1 :e!r     
pr(essional or n1 w take a *ance )      
somebody else t he w\ldn't q g ?r\gh )  
on himself4  ,besides1 doctors treat    
comp>ative /rang]s = ! mo/ "p1 & !      
int]e/s ( sci5ce are to be cons]v$4     
,almo/ any doctor c tell y h[ to get ?94
  ,to be sure1 no doctor  w tell y to d 
! same ?+s any o!r doctor prescribes1 b 
x  all simm]s d[n to ! same ?+3 ,cut out
 ! />*y foods &  sweets1 & take ex]cise4
  ,also3 ,don't dr9k alcohol4  ,!       
v>iations  t c be play$ on ?is simple   
!me by a skillful doctor are  endless4  
,:5 a real speciali/ 9 fat r$uction gets
 hold ( y--a  real1 e>ne/ r$uc]--he c   
contrive a diet t w\ld make a liv+      
skeleton ?9--& likewise put him 9 8     

little grave4  ,i h _h  diets h&$ to me 
t w\ld />ve a humm+-bird1 & diets t     
w\ld put fle% on a bronze /atue2 & all  
to ! same end--r$uction4  ,sci5ce has   
be5 monkey+ ) n\ri%m5t = ! pa/ t5 or    
fifte5  ye>s to ! exclusion ( _m o!r    
bran*es ( rese>*2 & ab\t  all t has     
happ5$ to ! n\ri%m5t is ! l>ge          
elim9ation (  nutrim5t f x4             
,,*apt] ,,ii    ,,! ,,s-,,call$ ,,cures 
,broadly speak+1 ! me?ods ( fat r$uction
 mo/ 9 vogue are  divid$ into f\r       
classes--me*anical1 physical1 m$ic9al & 
diet>y4  ,! fir/ two are n wor? consid]+
 by a man :o has any?+ else  to d4  ,i d
 n d\bt t a man :o c\ld devote 8 :ole "t
 to  ! "w c\ld1 by means ( "s ( !       
appliances (f]$--f !  app>atus 9 a      
gymnasium to rubb] %irts1 get (f        
fat--nor d ,i d\bt  ! efficacy ( ex]cise
 & its accompanim5ts 9 ! way ( sweat+  &
 ba?s & all t2 b :5 a p]son has a liv+  
to make ^!  me?ods are useless1 n ?r\gh 
any dem]it ( _! own b because  ! man :o 
is fat hasn't ! "t or opportunity &1 m  

?an all1  soon fails 9 ! incl9ation to  
use !m4    ,if y c tell me any?+ m      
gha/ly ?an tak+ a sy/em ( cann$         
ex]cises 9 ! morn+ or at night 9 "o's   
b$room or ba?room1 or  else:]e1 ) no o!r
 inc5tive ?an "s physical ga9 t1 :5  y  
come to sum x up1 is l>gely fictiti\s 9 
value--or comes  inevitably to be ?\ght 
s--,i w\ld l to h y /ep =w>d &  "n x4   
,i h be5 all ?r\gh t phase ( x1 & ,i "k2
 & ,i  also "k by he>t ! patt] ( !      
p]sons :o recomm5d x4  ,fur!r1 ,i "k !  
p]son r\nd ! =ties doesn't live :o      
enjoys  ?is sort ( ?+--no matt] :at he  
says ab\t x2 & )\t  enjoym5t ex]cise is 
( no use or worse ?an useless4  ,x c be 
done1  ( c\rse2 & lumps ( muscle c be   
/uck on almo/ any "p ( !  body--b :at's 
! use to ! p]son :o has to make a liv+8 
,!n1  too1 ,i am speak+ n[ ( me?ods t c 
be us$ by m5 & wom5 :o  are no long] "y4
  ,a "y man c & w d /unts 9 physical    
culture t an old] man _c d1 ei!r        
satisfactorily or  com=tably4    ,s f> z
 ! m$ic9al or drug me?od ( fat r$uction 

is conc]n$1  any fat man or woman :o    
takes drugs to r$uce fle%1 or to help1  
des]ves all t he or %e w get--& t w be  
pl5ty4  ,!re's  no ne$ ( say+ any?+     
fur!r on t subject4  ,!n !re rema9s  !  
diet>y me?od--! old famili> fri5d1 diet4
  ,/>t+ )  ,william ,bant+--maybe x     
didn't />t ) ,william1 b be=e  him--b1  
/>t+ ) ,bill = pres5t purposes1 !re h   
be5 m  sy/ems ( diet inv5t$ & promulgat$
 ?an !re h be5 sy/ems  ( religion--& t  
means ab\t "o 9 e hundr$ has evolv$ a   
sy/em4    ,y c get !m ( all sorts & all 
sure to d ! "w1 rang+ f  an exclusive   
diet ( beef/eak & sp9a* to desiccat$ hay
 &  cream$ alfalfa4  ,!re are monodiets1
  duodiets1  vegetable diets1  fruit    
diets1 nut diets--all k9ds ( diets--ea* 
gu>ante$ to take (f  fle% if y h too mu*
 or to put x on if y h too little4      
,basically1 h[ev]1 ! antifle% diets are 
ab\t ! same4  ,y are  told to cut out   
ev]y?+ y want to eat & exi/ on triply   
toa/$  bread & ! :ite meat ( a *ick51 or
 /r+ beans & sawdu/1 or  any o!r        

comb9ation ! %>ps say w n produce fat1 b
 w  su/a9 life 9 a l+]+ =m4  ,!y surr\nd
 ^! diet talks &  pres5tm5ts ) a lot (  
frills ab\t prote9s & calories & all  t 
sort ( guff1 & make x z difficult z     
possible4  ,n[1 m>k  y1 ,i am n say+    
diet--sci5tific diet--is n a good ?+1 a 
magnific5t /ep =w>d 9 ! progress ( ?is  
_w2 b ,i am say+  t ! av]age fat-r$uc+  
diet is impossible to any b a man or    
woman ( ! ultimate w-p[]1 & is a h>d%ip 
t ne$ n be  endur$4  ,i h tri$ ^! diets1
 & ,i "k6  ,!y may help r$uce  fle%1 b  
!y are n easy to foll[ & !y d n conta9  
?+s  t any p]son wants to eat or is     
accu/om$ to eat1 or w eat1 to  !        
exclusion ( ?+s t p]son does want to eat
 & w eat4  ,x  c be done4  ,"o ( ^!     
diets c be foll[$ if ! w-p[] is  !re1 & 
! fle% w come (f2 b ! me?od does n      
conduce to  ! be/ results--! physical   
=ce is r$uc$1 & !re is a mu*  easi] way4
    ,i h "o ( ^! diet li/s be=e me n[ f 
! highe/-pric$  fle%-r$uc+ speciali/ 9 !
 _w1 :o claims to h tak5  m\nta9s ( fle%

 (f m\nta9\s m54  ,9 ! beg9n+1 =        
example1  x says3 ,y w und]/&1 ( c\rse1 
t sug> is entirely  deb>r$4  ,also1 t   
fats1 milk1 *eese1 cream1 eggs1 & s on1 
are  cut (f = ! "t be+4  ,also t bread &
 f>9ace\s foods are  all cut (f4  ,9    
place ( bread or toa/ y mu/ use glut5   
biscuits4  ,= breakfa/1 9 ?is diet>y1 "o
 or two glut5 biscuits are all[$  & a   
cup ( unsweet5$ c(fee4  ,also1 six      
ounces ( lean grill$  /eak1 *ops or     
*ick51 & any :ite fi%--or ! :ites ( two 
eggs4    ,?is is ab\t ! lay\t = lun*eon 
& d9n]4  ,x is all ab\t z  excit+ &     
appetiz+ z t4  ,! proposition is1 (     
c\rse1 t  y are n tak+ food :i* w make  
fat & y mu/1 !re=e1  inevitably lose    
fle%4  ,s f> s good2 b ! difficulty is n
 9  ! sy/em1 b 9 ! h>d%ip ( c>ry+ x out4
  ,y c't h  any?+ to eat t y want to    
eat4  ,y torture y\rself = a space  &   
lose "s fle%2 !n :5 y d g back to y\r   
normal me?od (  eat+ ! fle% comes       
gallop+ back--& !re y are6  ,x is !     
same ) ex]cise4  ,y c take (f fat by    

ex]cise2 b1 once y  beg91 y are doom$ to
 ev]la/+ ex]cise1 = ! m9ute y /op  back 
comes ! fat--& m ( x ?an y _h be=e y    
began to  r$uce4    ,x is a t\gh game1  
anyway y play x1 if y are dispos$ to be 
fat4  ,no man liv+1 :o isn't a freak1 c 
p]si/ always 9 "o diet4  ,nor  c any man
 :o has any?+ else on 8 m9d be always   
ex]cis+--especially aft] he has rea*$   
=ty ye>s ( age1 :5  !re are s _m bett]  
?+s to d & "t is valuable1 & !  real    
idea ( h[ to live has j begun to        
p]colate4  ,also1 until "o  is =ty1 if  
reasonably heal?y1 fle% is a joke1 & n s
 mu* ( a  burd5 z x becomes lat]4  ,i   
hav5't a ?+ 9 ! _w aga9/ any  or all (  
^! me?ods4  ,i h tri$ mo/ ( !m & "k mo/ 
(  !m are bogus2 b ,i am n try+ to      
dissuade any p]son f tak+  (f fat 9 any 
way t suits any individual fancy or !   
fancy ( any  r$uc] into ^: h&s ! victim 
may h fall54  ,if y h a  good me?od g to
 x--& m p[] to y6    ,my idea is ?is3 ,i
 am sett+ d[n "h a record ( my own      
exp]i5ces1  & t is all4  ,e p]son :o    

does n l :at ,i h to say is  *e]fully   
advis$ to lump x4  ,any p]son :o is z   
fat z ,i 0 &  :o wants to get ?9n] is at
 lib]ty to foll[ my me?od4  ,if         
circum/ances are simil> results w be    
simil>4  ,if n !re w  be no results4  ,i
 am n advis+ or urg+ or putt+ =? any    
propag&a4  ,"h is :at happ5$4  ,x may   
suit y or x may n4  ,ei!r way ,i am     
indiff]5t4  ,9 ! words ( ! coon song3   
,i've got  m9e6    ,i hope ,i make      
myself cle>4  ,i h no mission or message
 or any  flubdub ( t k9d4  ,i am n "o ( 
^? boys :o urge y to d  ?is = y\r own   
good4  ,i h read a ton ( lit]ature put  
out by  p]sons :o f\nd some?+ t agre$ ) 
!m & imm$iately  />t$ out to re=m ! _w  
along t l9e4  ,y\r re=m]1  anyh[1 is a  
p]son :o wants all ! re/ ( ! _w to d z  
he  wants ! re/ ( ! _w to d1 n z ! re/ (
 ! _w wants  to d4  ,& ! reason re=m]s  
get pa/ s num]\sly is because our       
society is s con/itut$ t we sp5d e "o ( 
our brief ye>s  do+ :at o!r p want u to 
d & tell u to d1 & nev] d  any?+ we     

ourselves want to d4  ,once ,i got      
sev5te5 p\nds ( books  tell+ t ! only   
way to cure ev]y?+ 0 to fa/4  ,i knew a 
man  :o tri$ t4  ,! results 7 gr&4  ,he 
fa/$ a long "t &  cur$ himself ( :at    
ail$ him4  ,only1 un=tunately1 j be=e ! 
la/ ve/ige ( disease 0 remov$ ! fa/+    
kill$ him4  ,i cont5d  t man might j z  
well h di$ ( :at ail$ him orig9ally z   
to cure t disease & die ( ! cure4  ,x   
seems to me x is z  broad z x is long4  
,h[ev]1 h at ?is fat-r$uction process ( 
m9e6  ,y mu/ be>  ) a few p]sonal       
rem9isc5ces4  ,i 0 a big1 husky brute ( 
a  boy--?ick-*e/$1 broad-%\ld]$1        
c\ntry-br$ & ) an appetite  t knew no   
b\nds4  ,aft] ,i got go+ at my bus9ess1 
:5 ,i 0  tw5ty-five or s1 ,i 0 p9n$ d[n 
to a desk = ab\t t5 ye>s4  ,i  work$ h>d
 9 a mo/ exact+ place4  ,i 0 s heal?y x 
hurt4  ,i _h  j z mu* appetite = food z 
,i _h ev] _h2 b ,i didn't get a  *ance  
to bat ar\nd z ,i _h be5 accu/om$ to d &
 burn up t  food4  ,! result 0          
inevitable4  ,i began to get fat4  ,i _h

 a big  *e/--=ty-six in*es--& ! fat     
fill$ 9 und]nea?4  ,t big  *e/1 comb9$ )
 my broad %\ld]s1 conceal$ ! size ( my  
paun*1 & ,i didn't realize ,i 0         
accumulat+ t paun* until x  0 sold]$1   
rivet$1 la%$1 glu$1 nail$ & o!rwise     
fa/5$ to  me4    ,:5 ,i got my gr[? ,i  
weigh$ ab\t "o hundr$ & eighty-five     
p\nds  & 0 a pretty =midable physical   
proposition4  ,:5 ,i woke up to  ! fact 
t ,i 0 gett+ fat ,i f\nd ,i weigh$ two  
hundr$ &  tw5ty p\nds4  ,t extra        
?irty-five p\nds 0 mo/ly fat--excess    
baggage4  ,/ill1 x didn't bo!r me any4  
,i _h ! /r5g? to tote  x r\nd & _h !    
%\ld]s & ! *e/ to conceal x4  ,i didn't 
%[ any bay w9d[1 z mo/ fat m5 d4  ,z !y 
us$ to say3 ,y're  big all ov]4  ,y c>ry
 x all "r4    ,all ?is "t ,i 0 eat+ ?ree
 or f\r times a day & eat+  ev]y?+ t    
came my way4  ,also1 ,i drank "s--n     
excessively1 b  "s :isky & "s be]1 &    
occasionally "s w9e &  cocktails--ab\t !
 av]age am\nt ( dr9k+ ! av]age man does4
  ,i ?\ght ,i 0 gett+ too fat1 & ,i     

wre/l$ ) a bicycle all "o  summ]1 tak+  
long rides & plugg+ r\nd a good deal4   
,i did "s  c5turies1 b cont9u$ eat+ l a 
horse--naturally because ( !  outdoor   
ex]cise--& drank a good deal ( be]4  ,z 
w be se51 all  ! fat ,i _h 0 legitimate 
en\gh4  ,i put x on myself4  ,!re 0 no  
h]$it>y nons5se ab\t x4  ,i 0           
responsible = e ounce ( x4  ,! net      
result ( t summ]'s bicycle campaign 0 a 
ga9 ( five  p\nds 9 weight4  ,i 0       
h>d]--b ,i 0 fatt]1 too4    ,:5 ,i 0    
?irty-five ,i began to exp]im5t4  ,i !n 
weigh$ two  hundr$ & tw5ty-five p\nds4  
,i w5t to ! cann$-ex]cise1 !            
physical-torture pr(essor1 ! diet1 !    
salts1 & all ! re/ (  x1 tak+ (f a few  
p\nds b putt+ x all back aga9--& m--z   
soon z ,i /opp$4    ,^! attempts numb]$ 
ab\t two a ye>4  ,betwe5 times ,i ate z 
,i  want$ to & drank z ,i pleas$4  ,?+s 
ran along until ! fir/ (  ,janu>y1      
#aiaa4  ,i knew ,i 0 gett+ fatt]1 = my  
tailor told me s  & my belts & old clo!s
 all prov$ x4  ,/ill1 ,i didn't bo!r    

mu*4  ,i ?\ght ,i 0 l+]+ r\nd ab\t two  
hundr$ &  ?irty-five--too mu*1 ( c\rse2 
b ,i got away ) x pretty well1  except 9
 hot wea!r & :5 ,i w5t up 9 ! high      
m\nta9s1 & ,i  0 reasonably cont5t4  ,i 
0 fat1 all "r4  ,my wai/ 0 only two     
in*es small] ?an my *e/ & t meant my    
wai/ 0 =ty-f\r  in*es 9 gir?4  ,z a     
matt] ( fact1 be+ scant five feet t5 & a
  half1 ,i 0 bigg] ?an a h\se2 b ,i     
delud$ myself ) t /uff  ab\t my broad   
%\ld]s & my deep *e/1 & ?\ght x didn't  
%[4  ,x did %[1 ( c\rse4  ,i 0 a fat    
man--a big fat man--c>ry+ =ty  p\nds or 
m ( excess weight4    ,i _h diet$ &     
quit2 ex]cis$ & quit2 gone on !         
wat]wagon &  fall5 (f2 _h fuss$ r\nd a  
good deal1 sp5d+ a lot ( money 9  !     
attempt1 & ,i 0 gett+ fatt] all ! "t4   
,i hat$ to admit  t fact4  ,i tri$ to   
fool myself into ! conviction t ,i      
wasn't  gett+ any l>g]--& all ! "t ,i   
knew ,i 04  ,i ev5 w5t s f>  z to /op   
gett+ on ! scales2 & :5 anybody--z almo/
 ev]ybody  did--said1 ,:y1 y're gett+   

bigg]1 a9't y8  ,i always repli$3  ,no1 
,i ?9k n4  ,i /ick along ab\t two hundr$
 & ?irty-five  p\nds4    ,a ye> ago la/ 
summ] ,i w5t up into ! m\nta9s1 :]e ,i  
usually g  = my fun4  ,i _h notic$ a    
%ortness ( brea? & a :eez9ess 9  previ\s
 summ]s1 & _h felt my he>t p\nd+ pretty 
h>d2 b t  summ] ,i notic$ ^! ?+s        
acutely4  ,i c\ldn't get any air to     
brea!4  ,my he>t p\nd$ l a pneumatic    
rivet]4  ,any little  ex]cise tir$ me2 &
 :5 9 ! l[l&s 9 hot wea!r ,i 0 !        
p]spir+ m>vel & ! mo/ uncom=table z well
 z ! sloppie/  p]son y ev] saw4  ,x 0   
fi]ce6    ,i 0 do+ a good deal ( walk+ 9
 ^? days--_h to burn up !  fuel ,i 0    
tak+ into my body4  ,also1 ,i notic$ x 0
 mighty h>d to  keep awake aft] d9n]    
unless ,i got out into ! air & kept     
mov+4  ,i felt well en\gh & ! doctors   
said ,i 0 organically all "r4  ,i  kept 
in=m$ on ^? po9ts--b ,i 0 fat6  ,also1  
?\gh ,i li$ to  myself1 ,i knew ,i 0    
gett+ fatt]4    ,,*apt] ,,iii    ,,fac+ 
,,! ,,tissue    ,on ,new ,ye>'s ,day1   

#aiaa1 ,i weigh$ myself4  ,i don't "k   
:y1 = ,i  hadn't be5 on a scale = two or
 ?ree ye>s4  ,i set ! weight at two     
hundr$ & ?irty-five & x b\nd$ up l a    
rubb] ball2 s ,i %ov$  x along to two   
hundr$ & =ty & x /ill /ay$ up 9 ! air4  
,:5 ,i got a balance ,i f\nd ,i weigh$  
two hundr$ & =ty-sev5  p\nds4  ,i 0     
amaz$6  ,also1 ,i 0 sc>$2 = x in/antly  
occurr$ to  me t if ,i _h gone up to two
 hundr$ & =ty-sev5 9 two or ?ree  ye>s f
 two hundr$ & ?irty-five ,i %\ld keep on
 go+ up if my  mann] ( liv+ didn't      
*ange--& t pres5tly ,i %\ld weigh ?ree  
hundr$6    ,t two hundr$ & =ty-sev5     
p\nds 0 a fac]4  ,i 0 =c$ to  admit to  
myself t ,i 0 fat1 disgu/+ly fat--too   
fat2 & t ,i  %\ld get fatt]6  ,s ,i sat 
d[n & look$ ! situation 9 ! eye4  ,i    
rec\nt$ all my =m] ef=ts to get ?9 &    
disc>d$ !m "o by  "o4  ,i knew myself1 &
 knew ! ord9>y diet proposition & !     
ord9>y ex]cise proposition 7 n = me4  ,i
 knew ,i 0 :eezy &  t my he>t 0 gett+   
*ok$ ) fat2 t !re 7 great folds (  x on 

me1 & t x 0 up to me to get rid ( x or  
quit & wait =  ! inevitable end4  ,if x 
kept on ,i knew ,i %\ld bl[ up "s f9e   
day4  ,besides1 ,i 0 uric-acidy1        
rheumatic & /]tor\s & clumsy4  ,i _h    
ab\t fifty or sixty p\nds ( poison\s    
junk wrapp$ r\nd me1 & ,i  knew ,i %\ld 
suff] = x 9 ! end1 ?\gh ,i didn't feel x
 mu* &  c>ri$ x ) a fair assumption (   
lightness4    ,i 0 n an amateur at !    
game4  ,i _h be5 ?r\gh ! mill4  ,i sp5t 
sev]al days 9 go+ ov] ! :ole matt]4  ,x 
0 reasonably simple1  too1 & ne$n't h   
tak5 s mu* ( my "t2 b ,i 0 protect+     
myself1 y see1 gold-brick+ myself--try+ 
to f9d a way out t  w\ld n deprive me ( 
?+s ,i lik$ to d1 ( pleasures ,i want$  
to  enjoy4  ,x 0 pure selfi%ness t      
dom9at$ me & made me d s mu*  figur+ on 
a proposition ,i knew 0 conta9$ 9 a     
s5t5ce2 b ,i did  fight to hang on to ! 
old way ( liv+4    ,aft] ea* session (  
false logic & selfi% hypo!sis ,i        
inv>iably  came back to ! same          
proposition1 :i* is ! only              

proposition--&  t 03 ,:at makes fat8    
,food & dr9k4  ,h[ c y r$uce fat8  ,by  
r$uc+ ! am\nt ( food & dr9k--t is all   
!re is or 0 to x4  ,! only way to get   
rid ( ! effects ( ov]eat+ & ov]dr9k+ is 
to /op ov]eat+ & ov]dr9k+4    ,i w5t ov]
 my food habit4  ,i 0 accu/om$ to eat+ a
 big hir$-man's  breakfa/--fruit1 c(fee1
 eggs1 waffles1 hot bread1 sausage1     
any?+  t came along2 & ,i heav$ 9 a lot 
( x--n a little--a lot6  ,i  didn't eat 
s mu* at lun*eon1 b ,i ate pl5ty2 & at  
night ,i simply  clean$ up ! table4  ,i 
wasn't s /rong on sweets & pa/ry1       
because ,i  usually drank a few         
highballs dur+ ! day1 & highballs &     
cocktails  & sweets d n g well toge!r--t
 is1 ! man :o takes alcohol  into 8     
sy/em usually does n c>e = sweets4  ,be]
 0 "o ( my  long suits too--,pilsn] be]4
  ,i did l t6    ,i look$ ?is food habit
 squ>ely 9 ! face4  ,i impal$ ! dr9k    
habit  ) my glitt]+ eye4  ,i knew ,i 0  
eat+ ab\t sixty p] c5t m  ?an ,i ne$$ or
 c\ld use1 & t ,i 0 dr9k+ a hundr$ p]   

c5t  m4  ,i knew t no?+ makes fat b food
 & dr9k4  ,i knew excess  ( food w make 
any animal fat & ,i saw ,i _h be5 eat+  
freely (  ! mo/ fatt5+ k9ds ( food4  ,i 
knew be] & liquor 7 made (  gra91 & t   
gra9 is us$ to fatt5 /e]s & c[s & pigs4 
,i  refus$ to adopt a diet l any ( ^?   
unpalatable ones ,i _h  exp]im5t$ )1 b !
 rem$y 0 z pla9 z ! cause4  ,x 0  simple
 en\gh if ,i _h ! n]ve to g ?r\gh ) x4  
,inasmu* z an excess ( food & dr9k make 
an excess ( fat1 x foll[s  t ! r$uction 
9 ! am\nt ( food w /op t fat-=m+ &  give
 ! body a *ance to burn up ! excess fat 
already =m$4  ,t  0 my conclusion4  ,m9d
 y1 ,i rea*$ t conclusion be=e ,i made  
any  ( my argum5ts2 b ,i didn't want to 
admit x z reasonable or logical1  = ,i  
hat$ to give up ! pleasures ( ! table & 
! sociability  t came ) ! sort ( dr9k+  
,i did4  ,i 0 try+ to f9d a way  out t  
w\ld be easy & com=table4  ,& all ! "t  
,i 0 gett+  fatt]6  ,! scales told me t4
    ,?is back+ & fill+ & argum5t )      
myself la/$ all ?r\gh  ,janu>y & "p (   

,febru>y4  ,x took me six weeks to get  
myself into  ! frame ( m9d :]e ,i       
admitt$ ! tru? ( my conclusion4  ,i 0 no
  h]o4  ,i didn't want to d x4  ,i lov$ 
x all too well4  ,i 0 z rank a  c[>d 9 !
 beg9n+ z y ev] saw6  ,x appall$ me to  
?9k (  re/rict+ myself 9 any way1 = ,i  
lik$ ! pleasures t ,i knew ,i  mu/ =ego4
  ,h[ev]1 :5 ,i got up to two hundr$ &  
fifty p\nds ,i  sat d[n & _h x out )    
myself4    ,"h6 ,i said to myself4  ,y  
big /uff1 y n[ weigh two hundr$ &  fifty
 p\nds6  ,9 ano!r ye> or two y w weigh  
two hundr$ &  sev5ty-five p\nds6  ,y are
 uncom=table & heavy on y\r feet1 &  y  
are g\ty & :eezy2 & x's a c9* y'll die 9
 a few ye>s if  y keep on ?is way4  ,y  
"k all ?is fat is caus$ by an excess (  
food & dr9k1 & y "k x c be tak5 (f by a 
r$uction 9 ^?  fatmak]s4  ,are y go+ to 
/ick r\nd "h s fat y are a joke1        
uncom=table1 mis]able :5 x's hot1 9 y\r 
own way & 9 ! way (  ev]ybody else1 :51 
if y've got ! w-p[] ( a *ickadee1 y  c  
get back to reasonable proportions &    

com=t m]ely by d5y+  y\rself ?+s y d n  
ne$8    ,all ! old argum5ts obtrud$4    
,see :at ,i %\ld lose6  ,life w\ld be a 
dull & dre>y affair--a dun1 dismal      
proposition4  ,i admitt$ t4  ,on  ! o!r 
h&1 h[ev]1 life w\ld n be a :eezy1      
sweaty1  *ok$-he>t1 uncom=table         
proposition4  ,i f9ally decid$ ,i w\ld g
 to  x4  ,& ,i did4    ,my me?od may be 
utt]ly unsci5tific4  ,i suppose x hasn't
 a sci5tific  leg to /& on4  ,/ill1 x   
did ! bus9ess4  ,& ,i ma9ta9 t  results 
are :at we are look+ =4  ,! end ju/ifies
 ! means4  ,i  didn't figure out a diet4
  ,i _h a doz5 ( !m at home t _h co/ me 
all ! way f two doll>s to two hundr$ &  
fifty doll>s ea*4  ,i  didn't buy a     
sy/em ( ex]cise4  ,i read no books &    
consult$ no  doctors4  ,:at ,i did 0    
?is3 ,i cut d[n ! am\nt ( food ,i ate   
sixty  p] c5t & ,i cut out alcohol      
altoge!r6  ,i c>ri$ out my argum5t to   
its logical conclusion s f> z x conc]n$ 
myself4  ,i didn't give a  hoot :e!r x  
w\ld help or hurt or conc]n any o!r     

p]son 9 !  _w4  ,x 0 my body ,i 0       
exp]im5t+ on1 & ,i did :at ,i  dad-blam$
 pleas$ & ask$ no advice--nor took any4 
,in/ead ( a hot-bread--,i h ! greate/   
hot-bread arti/ 9 ! _w  at my h\se1 b>  
none6--waffle1 sausage1 kidney-/ew1     
lamb-*op1  fri$-egg & s =? sort (       
breakfa/1 ,i cut t meal d[n to "s       
fruit1 a c\ple ( pieces ( dry1 h>d toa/1
 two boil$ eggs & c(fee4  ,i cut out !  
lun*eon altoge!r4  ,no m lun*eon = me6  
,i cut d[n  my d9n]s to ab\t =ty p] c5t 
( :at ,i _h be5 eat+4  ,i  dim9i%$ !    
quantity1 b n ! v>iety4  ,i ate ev]y?+ t
 came  along1 b ,i didn't eat s mu* or  
half s mu*4  ,in/ead ( two slices  (    
roa/ beef1 = example1 ,i ate only "o    
small slice4  ,in/ead ( two  bak$ or    
br[n$ potatoes1 ,i ate only half ( "o4  
,in/ead ( ?ree or  f\r slices ( bread1  
,i ate only "o4  ,i didn't deprive      
myself ( a  s+le ?+ ,i lik$1 b ,i cut ! 
quantity away d[n4  ,& ,i quit  dr9k+   
alcohol absolutely4    ,:at happ5$8     
,?is is :at happ5$3 ,eat+ food is j z   

mu* a  habit z brea?+ or any o!r        
physical function4  ,i _h got myself    
into  ! habit ( eat+ l>ge quantities (  
food4  ,also1 ,i _h accu/om$ my  sy/em  
to c]ta9 am\nts ( alcohol4  ,i 0        
organiz$ on t  basis--fatly & flabbily  
organiz$1 to be sure1 b organiz$ j !    
same4  ,n[1 !n1 :5 ,i arbitr>ily cut d[n
 ! am\nt ( food &  dr9k = :i* my sy/em 0
 organiz$ t entire sy/em rose up 9      
active revolt & yell$ = :at x _h be5    
accu/om$ to get4  ,!re  wasn't a m9ute =
 m ?an ?ree mon?s :5 ,i wasn't hungry1  
actually  hungry = food2 :5 ! sight (   
food did n excite me & :5 ,i did  n h a 
physical long+ & appetite = food2 :5 my 
/oma* did  n seem to dem& x & my palate 
h[l = x4  ,x 0 diff]5t )  ! dr9k+4  ,i  
got ov] t desire r promptly1 b ) a      
/ruggle1 at t2 b ! food-ye>n 0 !re =    
weeks & weeks1 &  x 0 a fight--a bitt]1 
bitt] fight6    ,:5 ,i w5t to ! table & 
saw ! good ?+s on x1 & knew ,i  int5d$  
only to eat small portions ( !m1        
especially ( my favorite  dess]ts & my  

belov$ hot-bread1 ,i simply _h to grip !
 sides ( my  *air & use all ! w-p[] ,i  
_h to keep f rea*+ out &  grabb+ some?+ 
& /uff+ x into my m\?6  ,my fri5ds us$  
to  ?9k x 0 all a joke4  ,x 0 f>!r f be+
 a joke ?an any?+  y ev] he>d ab\t4  ,x 
0 a trag$y--a grim1 rel5tless trag$y6   
,x  0 acute physical suff]+4  ,my body  
cri$ out = t same am\nt (  food ,i _h   
be5 giv+ x all ^? ye>s4  ,i want$ to    
give x t same  am\nt4  ,i h _h to leave 
! table "t & "t aga9 to get hold (      
myself & g back to ! small] portions ,i 
_h allott$ to myself4  ,i  lik$ to eat1 
y "k4    ,no?+ mu* happ5$ = a few weeks1
 ?\gh ! wai/b& ( my  tr\s]s grew loos]4 
,!n a lot ( excess baggage seem$ to drop
 away  all at once4  ,i weigh$ myself & 
f\nd ,i _h tak5 (f tw5ty-five  p\nds4   
,fri5ds told me to quit--t ,i %\ld ov]do
 x4  ,i laugh$ at  !m4  ,i knew ,i 0    
/ill tw5ty-five p\nds too heavy & ,i 0 j
  gett+ into my /ride4  ,x is /range h[ 
m51 & especially fat m51  :o hav5't !   
n]ve to r$uce !mselves1 ?9k a man mu/ be

 sick if  he takes (f fle%4  ,i knew ,i 
wasn't sick4  ,inde$1 ,i 0 j beg9n+  to 
get well4    ,by ! end ( ?ree mon?s ,i  
_h tak5 (f ?irty-five p\nds4  ,x 0  com+
 (f well1 too4  ,my face wasn't hagg>d  
or wr9kl$4  ,i look$ fit4  ,my eye 0    
cle> & my d\ble *9 _h disappe>$4  ,also1
 ,i _h  conqu]$ my fight ) my appetite4 
,i _h won out4  ,i 0 satisfi$  ) !      
small] quantities ( food & ,i felt bett]
 ?an ,i _h 9  tw5ty ye>s--/rong]1       
fitt]--& 0 bett]1 m5tally & physically4 
,aft] t x 0 a c9*4  ,i kept along1 eat+ 
ev]y?+ on !  bill-(-f>e1 b 9 small      
quantities4  ,i didn't v>y my diet a    
bit1  except = ! eggs at breakfa/4  ,if 
,i want$ pie ,i ate a small piece4  ,if 
,i want$ ice cream ,i ate a small di%4  
,if ,i want$ pudd+ ,i ate "s  ( t4  ,i  
ate fat meat & lean meat & spaghetti1 & 
ev]y?+ else  int]dict$ by ! r$uction    
dieti/s--only 9 small quantities6  ,& ,i
  kept on gett+ small] & small]4    ,!  
fat came (f f ev]y:]e4  ,i _h be5 incas$
 ) x app>5tly4  ,my wai/ decreas$ sev5  

in*es4  ,a big lay] ( fat came (f my *e/
  & abdom54  ,my legs & arms grew small]
 b h>d]4  ,ev5 my f+]s  grew small]4    
,my excess ( *9 evaporat$4  ,& at ! end 
( ! fif?  mon? ,i _h tak5 (f fifty-five 
p\nds4  ,i weigh$ !n "o hundr$ &        
n9ety-five p\nds1 :i* is :at ,i weigh   
today4    ,e p]son1 ,i take x1 has a    
normal weight2 & if t p]son gives  8    
body a *ance1 & ill heal? does n        
int]v5e1 ! body w f9d  t normal & /ay   
!re4  ,i take x t my normal weight1 on  
acc\nt  ( my big frame & bones1 is ab\t 
"o hundr$ & n9ety-five p\nds1  at ! age 
( =ty-?ree4  ,at any rate1 x has /ay$ at
 a hundr$ &  n9ety-five s9ce ! fir/ (   
la/ ,july1 & 9 t "t ,i h loaf$  = two   
mon?s & ridd5 on ,pullman c>s = two o!r 
mon?s1 & h  n tak5 any ex]cise to speak 
(2 b ,i h ma9ta9$ my s*$ule (  eat+ & ,i
 h n tak5 any alcohol4  ,i figure ,i c  
/ay :]e ,i am  indef9itely on t         
program--& t is my program indef9itely4 
,!re are c]ta9 economic phases ( a      
campaign ( ?is k9d t %\ld  be m5tion$4  

,x is exp5sive4  ,n "o item ( clo?+1    
save my hat1  socks & %oes1 :i* fitt$ me
 la/ ,janu>y is ( ! slighte/ use to  me 
n[4  ,i didn't get to cutt+ d[n clo!s   
until ,i 0 sure ,i w\ld  /ick4  ,s9ce t 
"t ! tailors h _h a picnic at my exp5se4
  ,my  %irts 7 too big4  ,in/ead ( we>+ 
a sev5te5-&-?ree-qu>t]s  coll>1 ,i n[   
we> a sixte5-&-?ree-qu>t]s4  ,my wai/ is
 sev5  in*es small]4  ,i ev5 _h to h a  
seal r+ ,i we> cut d[n s x  w\ld n slip 
(f my f+]4  ,:ile 9 ! transition /age ,i
 look$  l a sc>ecr[4  ,my clo!s hung on 
me l bags4    ,s9ce ,i h _h my clo!s    
re-made & new ones con/ruct$ ,i am an   
object ( cont9ual comm5t among my       
fri5ds4  ,!y all m>vel at my  *ang$     
appe>ance4  ,!y are all solicit\s ab\t  
my heal?4  ,!y d  n see h[ a man c take 
(f m ?an fifty p\nds & n hurt  himself4 
,i d n see h[ he c keep x on & n kill   
himself4  ,!y  tell me ,i look l a      
boy--& ,i feel l "o4  ,i'm z active z ,i
 0  tw5ty ye>s ago4  ,:5 ,i 0 9 !       
m\nta9s ?is summ]1 at an  altitude (    

sev5ty-five hundr$ feet1 ,i c\ld climb  
slopes ) no  exhau/ion t ,i c\ldn't h   
gone fifte5 feet up ! ye> be=e4  ,my    
m9d is cle>]2 my body is bett]4  ,i     
figure ,i h add$ a good _m  ye>s to my  
life4    ,& all ?is "t ,i h _h ev]y?+ ,i
 want$ to eat1 b n all ,i  want$ to eat 
until ,i got myself readju/$ to ! new   
sy/em4  ,i miss$  ! alcohol at fir/1 b t
 is all ov] n[4  ,x 0 a "p ( !  game &  
,i us$ to ?9k a necess>y "p4  ,i h cur$ 
myself ( t  delusion4  ,if !re is a ?+  
on e>? ! matt] ) me ! able/  doctors 9  
?is c\ntry c't f9d out :at x is4  ,i am 
a rejuv5at$1  recon/ruct$ p]son1 no     
long] fat1 ag$ =ty-?ree--& ! ,:ite      
,man's ,hope6    ,z to ! ex]cise end (  
x1 !re wasn't any ex]cise end4  ,x      
happ5$  t ,i met a man la/ ,m>*1 :5 ,i 0
 9 ! fir/ ?roes ( ?is  campaign1 :o _h  
made "s /udy ( ! human body4  ,i lik$   
him because  he 0 mode/ ab\t :at he     
knew1 & n a faddi/4  ,we talk$ ab\t     
ex]cise4  ,he told me "o ?+ t /uck4  ,he
 said3 ,walk a little  e day4  ,if y h  

half an h\r walk a mile4  ,if y h an h\r
  walk two miles4  ,don't try to see h[ 
_m miles y c walk 9 !  half-h\r or !    
h\r1 b take y\r "t4  ,look at ?+s z y g 
along4  ,be leisurely ab\t x4  ,:5 a man
 goes out = a walk & walks  z h>d z he c
 or does any?+ else 9 ! %ape ( ex]cise z
 h>d  z he c he is subject+ himself to j
 z mu* n]ve /ra9 z he c  subject himself
 to 9 any o!r way4  ,be calm ab\t y\r   
walk+1 or  :atev] else y d4    ,=m]ly x 
_h be5 my cu/om to plug out aft]        
breakfa/ & gallop  ?ree or f\r miles z  
h>d z ,i c\ld & !n g to "w4  ,i cut t   
out4  ,i walk$ an easy1 leisurely mile  
or two miles1 look+ at ! trees  & fl[]s 
& wat*+ ! p & look+ into %op w9d[s1 & ,i
  got a lot ( good out ( x4  ,!n x grew 
hot1 & ,i cut my walk+ to  half a mile  
or s d[n to my (fice 9 ! morn+ & back at
 night4  ,occasionally1 aft] d9n]1 ,i   
w\ld walk a c\ple ( miles4  ,?is summ]  
,i w5t fi%+ & tramp$ ab\t "s1 b n mu*4  
,9 reality1 ,i _h  no s*eme ( ex]cise1 &
 ,i took little4  ,i didn't ne$ x4  ,i  

didn't  h masses ( food & dr9k 9 me to  
be burn$ up4  ,i 0 normal4    ,z ,i     
said1 ,i suppose all ?is is absurdly    
unsci5tific--& ,i don't give  a hoot if 
x is4  ,x work$ = me4  ,i don't "k :e!r 
x w "w  = any o!r p]son on ?is e>?4     
,nor d ,i c>e4  ,if y want to try  x on1
 provid$ y are fat1 "h are !            
specifications3 ,i assume x is  an axiom
 t we all eat too mu*4  ,i "k ,i        
did--ab\t sixty p] c5t  too mu*4  ,/ill1
 ,i gu>antee no?+4  ,i make no claims4  
,i h set  d[n ! facts2 & ! only w>n+1   
advice or admonition ,i h to give  is t 
any p]son :o makes up 8 m9d to try ?is  
me?od & ?9ks he  isn't 9 = ! h>de/      
/ruggle ( 8 life w\ld d well n to try4  
,?is isn't a frolic4  ,x's a fight4