,,from ,,death ,,to ,,life3 ,twenty ,years of ,my ,ministry4 ,,by ,rev4 ,william ,haslam1 7,late ,incumbent of ,curzon ,chapel1 ,mayfair7 ,reprinted by ,rev4 ,w4 ,j4 ,watchorn4 ,this edition completes #acj1jjj copies4 ,standard ,book ,room1 ,brockville1 ,ontario ,,contents ,,chapter #a ,the ,broken ,nest1 #ahda4 ,,chapter #b ,religious ,life4 ,,chapter #c ,ordination4 ,,chapter #d ,antiquarian ,researches and ,ministry1 #ahdc-df4 ,,chapter #e ,the ,new ,parish1 #ahdf4 ,,chapter #f ,the ,awakening1 #ahdh-ea4 ,,chapter #g ,conversion1 #ahea4 ,,chapter #h ,the ,awakening1 #ahdh-ea4 ,,chapter #i ,the ,visitor1 #ahea4 ,,chapter #aj ,the ,first ,christmas1 #ahea-eb4 ,,chapter #aa ,dreams and ,visions1 #ahea-d4 ,,chapter #ab ,billy ,bray1 #aheb4 ,,chapter #ac ,cottage ,meetings1 #aheb4 ,,chapter #ad ,open-,air ,services1 #aheb4 ,,chapter #ae ,drawing-,room ,meetings1 #aheb-ec4 ,,chapter #af ,opposition1 #ahec4 ,,chapter #ag ,individual ,cases1 #ahec4 ,,chapter #ah ,a ,visit to ,veryan1 #ahec4 ,,chapter #ai ,a ,mission in the ,shires4 #ahec4 ,,chapter #bj ,a ,stranger from ,london1 #ahec4 ,,chapter #ba ,golant ,mission1 #ahed4 ,,chapter #bb ,the ,high ,church ,rector1 #ahed4 ,,chapter #bc ,a ,mission in ,staffordshire1 #ahed4 ,,chapter #bd ,sanctification4 ,,chapter #be ,the ,removal1 #ahee ,,chapter #bf ,plymouth1 #ahee ,,chapter #bg ,devonport1 #ahee ,,chapter #bh ,a ,mission to the ,north1 #ahee ,,chapter #bi ,tregoney1 #ahee ,,chapter #cj ,secessions1 #ahef ,,chapter #ca ,hayle1 #aheg-eh ,,chapter #cb ,bible ,readings1 #aheh-ei ,,chapter #cc ,the ,work ,continued1 #ahei ,,chapter #cd ,the ,dismissal1 #ahfj-fa ,,introduction ,this volume is not so much a history of my own life1 as of the ,lord's dealings with me2 setting forth how ,he wrought in and by me during the space of twenty years4 ,it will be observed that this is not1 as biographies generally are1 an account of life on to death2 but rather the other way--a narrative of transition from death into life1 and that in more senses than one4 ,i had been given over by three physicians to die1 but it pleased the ,lord1 in answer to prayer1 to raise me up again4 ,my restored health and strength ,i thankfully devoted to a religious and earnest life4 ,in the height and seeming prosperity of this1 the ,lord awakened me to see that ,i was dead in trespasses and sins2 still far from ,him2 resting on my own works2 and going about to establish my own righteousness1 instead of submitting to the righteousness of ,god4 ,then ,he quickened me by the ,holy ,ghost1 and raised me up into a new and spiritual life4 ,in this volume the reader will meet with the respective results of 7what ,i have called7 the ,religious1 as distinguished from the ,spiritual1 life4 ,the former produced only outward and ecclesiastical effects1 while the latter brought forth fruit in the salvation of souls1 to the praise and glory of ,god4 ,one object in writing this book is to warn and instruct earnest-minded souls1 who are1 as ,i was once1 strangers to the experience of salvation1 seeking rest where ,i am sure they can never find it1 and labouring to do good to others when they have not yet received that good themselves4 ,they are vainly building from the top2 trying to live before they are born2 to become holy before they have become justified2 and to lead others to conversion before they have been converted themselves4 ,a second object is--to draw the attention of every earnest1 seeking1 or anxious soul1 to consider the ,lord's marvellous goodness in first bearing with me in my religious wanderings1 and then using me for ,his glory in the salvation of hundreds4 ,another desire ,i have is--to cheer the hearts of believers who are working for ,god1 by relating to them what ,he has done through me1 and can do again1 by the simple preaching of the ,gospel4 ,here the reader will meet with narratives of the ,lord's work in individual cases1 in congregations1 and in parishes--wonderful things which are worthy of record4 ,i have not shunned to tell of the mistakes ,i fell into after my conversion1 hoping that others may take heed and profit by them2 and then ,i shall not have written in vain4 ,,chapter #a ,the ,broken ,nest1 #ahda4 ,at the time in which this history begins1 ,i had1 in the providence of ,god1 a very happy nest2 and as far as temporal prospects were concerned1 ,i was provided for to my liking1 and1 though not rich1 was content4 ,i had taken my degree2 was about to be ordained2 and1 what is more1 was engaged to be married2 in order1 as ,i thought1 to settle down as an efficient country parson4 ,with this bright future before me1 ,i went on very happily2 when1 one evening1 after a hard and tiring day1 just as ,i was sitting down to rest1 a letter was put into my hand which had been following me for several days4 ,most urgent was written on the outside4 ,it told me of the alarming illness of the lady to whom ,i was engaged1 and went on to say that if ,i wished to see her alive ,i must set off with all haste4 ,it took me a very short time to pack my bag and get my travelling coats and rugs together1 so that ,i was all ready to start by the night mail4 ,at eight o'clock punctually ,i left ,london for the journey of two hundred and eighty miles4 ,all that night ,i sat outside the coach2 all the next day2 and part of the following night4 ,i shall never forget the misery of mind and body that ,i experienced1 for ,i was tired before starting2 and the fatigue of sitting up all night1 together with the intense cold of the small hours of the morning1 were almost beyond endurance4 ,with the morning1 however1 came a warm and bright sunshine1 which in some degree helped to cheer me2 but my bodily suffering was so great that ,i could never have held up had it not been for the mental eagerness with which ,i longed to get forward4 ,it was quite consonant with my feelings when the horses were put into full gallop1 especially when they were tearing down one hill to get an impetus to mount another4 ,at length1 the long1 long journey was over2 and about thirty hours after starting1 ,i found myself staggering along to the well-known house4 ,as ,i approached the door was softly opened by a relative who for several days had been anxiously watching my arrival4 ,she at once conducted me upstairs1 to what ,i expected was a sick chamber1 when1 to my horror1 the first thing ,i saw was the lid of a coffin standing up against the wall1 and in the middle of the room was the coffin1 with candles burning on either side4 ,i nearly fell to the ground with this tremendous shock and surprise4 ,there was the dear face1 but it seemed absorbed in itself1 and to have lost all regard for me4 ,it no longer turned to welcome me1 nor was the hand stretched out1 as theretofore1 to meet mine4 ,all was still2 there was no smile--no voice--no welcome-nothing but the silence of death to greet me4 ,the sight of that coffin1 with its quiet inmate1 did not awaken sorrow so much as surprise2 and with that1 something like anger and rebellion4 ,i was weak and exhausted in body1 but strong in wilful insubordination4 ,murmuring and complaining1 ,i spoke unadvisedly with my lips4 ,a gentle voice upbraided me1 adding1 that ,i had far better kneel down in submission to ,god1 and say ,thy will be done6 ,this1 however1 was not so easy1 for the demon of rebellion had seized me1 and kept me for three hours in a tempest of anger1 filling my mind with hard thoughts against ,god4 ,i walked about the room in the most perturbed state of mind1 so much so1 that ,i grieved my friends1 who came repeatedly to ask me to kneel down and say1 ,thy will be done6 ,kneel down--just kneel down6 ,at length ,i did so1 and while some one was praying1 my tears began to flow1 and ,i said the words1 ,thy will be done6 ,immediately the spell was broken and ,i was enabled to say from my heart1 again and again1 ,thy will be done6 ,after this ,i was conscious of a marvellous change in mind2 rebellion was gone1 and resignation had come in its place4 ,more than that1 the dear face in the coffin seemed to lie smiling in peace1 so calm and so lovely1 that ,i felt ,i would not recall the spirit that was fled1 even if it bad been possible4 ,there was wrought in me something more than submission1 even a lifting-up of my will to the will of ,god2 and withal1 such a love towards ,him that ,i wondered at myself4 ,god had been1 as it were1 a stranger to me before4 ,now ,i felt as though ,i knew and loved ,him1 and could kiss ,his hand1 though my tears flowed freely4 ,the funeral took place the same morning3 it was a time of great emotion2 sorrow and joy met1 and flowed together4 ,i thought of the dear one ,i had lost1 but yet more of the ,god of love ,i had found2 and to remember that she was with ,him was an additional comfort to me4 ,the funeral service was soothing and elevating beyond expression2 and yet1 when it was all over1 such a sense of desolation came upon me1 that ,i felt utterly forlorn and truly sad4 ,my nest was now completely stirred up2 but instead of bemoaning its broken state1 ,i could see the eagle fluttering over her young ones 7,deut4 #cb3a74 ,i was conscious that ,god was looking on1 and that ,he had not forsaken me in this great wreck4 ,the strain and excitement ,i had undergone naturally brought on an illness4 ,i was seized with inflammation of the lungs1 and was dangerously ill4 ,from this1 and other complications which supervened1 the doctor pronounced that ,i could not recover1 and bade me prepare for eternity4 ,judges and doctors1 when they pass sentence of death1 seem to regard religion as necessary preparation for it4 ,too common1 also1 is this idea1 even among those who do not belong to these respected professions4 ,my own opinion was much the same at that time4 ,having received this solemn warning1 ,i took down the ,prayer-book1 and religiously read over the office for the ,visitation of the ,sick4 ,i became so interested in this exercise1 that ,i determined to read it three times a day4 ,the prayer for a sick child especially commended itself to my mind1 so that1 by changing a few words1 ,i made it applicable to my own case1 and used it not only three1 but even seven1 times a day4 ,in substance1 it petitioned that ,i might be taken to heaven if ,i died2 or that1 if it should please ,god to restore my health1 ,he would let me live to ,his glory4 ,i did not at that time expect my days would be prolonged1 nor had ,i any wish to live1 for the world was now perfectly blank and desolate to me4 ,i felt as if ,i could never be happy again2 to be with ,god would be far better6 ,i little dreamed that if ,i had died in that unpardoned and ,christless state1 ,i should have been lost forever2 for ,i was profoundly ignorant of the necessity of change of heart--perfectly unconscious that ,i must be born again of the ,spirit4 ,this vital truth had never come to my mind2 ,i felt a love for ,god1 and in my ignorance ,i wished to die4 ,one morning the thought came to me1 as ,i was sitting all alone by the fire1 ,what have ,i been praying for8--that the ,lord would take me to heaven if ,i died2 or1 if ,i lived1 that ,he would let me live to ,his glory8 ,why1 this is heaven both ways6--heaven in heaven1 or heaven on earth--whichever way it pleases ,god to answer my prayer4 ,somehow ,i felt certain that ,he would answer it4 ,i was exceedingly happy1 and could not help thanking ,him4 ,from that day ,i began to feel better1 and became impressed with the idea that ,i was to live1 and not die4 ,the doctor smiled at me when ,i told him so1 for he did not believe it4 ,he1 and two other physicians1 had told me that my lungs were diseased2 indeed1 six months afterwards1 all three sounded me1 and declared that one lung was inoperative1 and the other much affected4 ,yet1 notwithstanding the doctor's discouraging announcement--for he told me1 also1 that it was one of the fatal signs of consumption for the patient to feel or think he was getting better--,i had a certain conviction that ,i was to recover4 ,as soon as the medical man had gone1 ,i put on my coat and hat and went out for a walk4 ,i trembled much from weakness1 and found it necessary to move very slowly and stop often2 but under the shelter of a wall1 courting the warmth of the bright-shining sun1 ,i managed to make my way to the churchyard4 ,while ,i was sitting there alone1 the great bell struck out unexpectedly1 and caused me to shake all over2 for ,i was in a very weak condition4 ,it was the sexton tolling to announce the departure of the soul of some villager from the world4 ,having done this1 he came out with his boards and tools to dig the grave4 ,he did not observe me sitting by2 so he at once commenced1 and went on diligently with his work4 ,the ground had so often been broken before that it did not take him long to accomplish his task2 he gradually got deeper and deeper into the ground1 till he disappeared altogether from my sight4 ,i crept to the edge of the narrow pit in which he was1 and looking into it1 ,i could not help thinking of those words of ,kirke ,white-- ,cold grave1 methinks1 'twere sweet to rest ,within thy calm and hallowed breast6 ,i had no fear of death1 but rather felt that ,i should welcome it even more than restoration to health4 ,i have even now a most vivid remembrance of this1 and place it on record to show how delusive' are our feelings3 because ,i did not feel any danger1 ,i took it for granted that there really was none4 ,that day1 however1 was an eventful one in my life2 for1 in the gladness of my heart1 ,i gave myself to ,god1 to live for ,him4 ,i had given my will before1 and now ,i gave my life1 and was happy in the deed4 ,i did not know at that time that faith does not consist in believing that ,i have given myself1 even if ,i meant it ever so sincerely2 but in believing that ,god has taken or accepted me4 ,at the outset1 ,i began with the former--a merely human faith--and its result was consequently imperfect4 ,i was spiritually dead1 and did not know it4 ,alas6 ,what multitudes there are who are utterly unconscious of the fact of this spiritual death1 though there are few things more plainly declared and revealed in the ,word of ,god4 ,the full meaning of the word death is too often misunderstood and overlooked4 ,there are three kinds referred to in the ,word of ,god--spiritual1 natural1 and everlasting4 ,the first is a separation of the soul from ,god2 the second1 that of the body from the soul2 and the last1 that of the unbelieving man1 body and soul1 from ,god forever4 ,it will be seen that there is one characteristic which is common to all three kinds--that is1 separation2 and that there is no idea of finality--death is not the end4 ,when the ,lord ,god created man1 we suppose that ,he made him not merely in the form of a body1 but a man with body and soul complete2 and afterwards that ,he breathed into this living man the ,spirit1 and he became a living soul4 ,as such1 he communed with the eternal ,god1 who is a ,spirit4 ,in this spiritual state he could walk and converse with ,god in the garden of ,eden4 ,when1 however1 he disobeyed the command which had been given to him1 he incurred the tremendous penalty4 ,the ,lord ,god had said1 ,in the day that you eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil1 you shall surely die4 ,he did eat1 and he died there and then2 that is1 he forfeited that ',spirit which had quickened his soul1 and thus became a dead soul2 though1 as we know1 he remained a living man for nine hundred years before his body returned to its dust4 ,by his one act of disobedience1 ,adam opened in an instant 7as an earthquake opens a deep chasm7 the great gulf1 the impassable gulf of separation which is fixed between us and ,god4 ,by nature1 as the children of ,adam1 we are all on the side which is away from ,god2 and we are become subject also to the sentence pronounced against the life of the body4 ,we know and understand that we are mortal1 and that it is appointed unto men once to die2 but we do not seem to be aware of the more important fact of the death of our souls4 ,satan1 who said to our first parents1 ,ye shall not surely die1 employs himself now in deceiving men by saying1 ,ye are not dead2 and multitudes believe him1 and take it for granted that it is actually true4 ,thus they go on unconcerned about this awful and stupendous reality4 ,,chapter #b ,religious ,life4 ,with returning health and strength1 ,i did not think of going back into the world1 but rather gave myself more fully to the purpose for which ,i supposed that my life had been restored4 ,i felt a thankfulness and joy in my recovery1 which confirmed me more and more in my determination to live to the glory of ,god4 ,when ,i was able to return to the ,south1 ,i did so by easy stages till ,i got back to the neighbourhood of ,london2 and there it was ordered that ,i should be shut up for the remainder of the winter4 ,during this season of retirement1 ,i spent my time most happily in reading and prayer1 and found great delight in this occupation4 ,i was able to say1 with the ,psalmist1 ,i love the ,lord1 because ,he has heard my voice and my supplication2 and1 like him1 ,i could say1 ,i will call upon ,him as long as ,i live2 ,i will walk before ,him in the land of the living2 and ,i will take the cup of salvation and call upon the name of the ,lord4 ,that is1 in secret or private life2 in social intercourse with my fellow-men2 and in the worship of the sanctuary1 ,i will seek the glory of ,god4 ,i used to have much pleasure every day in asking ,god to give me a deeper sense of ,his love1 that ,i might unfeignedly thank ,him1 and show forth ,his praise with my life as well as my lips4 ,all this1 be it observed1 was because ,god had saved not my soul1 but my life2 for as yet ,i had not1 like the ,psalmist1 felt any trouble about my soul4 ,i knew nothing of what he describes as the sorrows of death and the pains of hell4 ,i had not been awakened by the ,spirit to know the danger and sorrow of being separated from ,god 7which is spiritual death74 ,i was perfectly unconscious that between ,god and myself there was the impassable gulf ,i have already referred to1 and consequently ,i had not experienced such overwhelming anxiety as made the ,psalmist cry out1 ,o ,lord1 ,i beseech ,thee1 deliver my soul4 ,i knew nothing of the necessity of passing from death to life1 and therefore ,i could not say1 ,the ,lord has delivered my soul from death1 mine eyes from tears1 and my feet from falling4 ,the only thing ,i knew was that ,god was good to me1 and therefore ,i loved ,him1 and was thankful1 not for the sake of getting ,his favour1 but because ,i thought ,i had it4 ,i turned over a new leaf1 and 'therewith covered up the blotted page of my past life4 ,on this new path ,i endeavoured to walk as earnestly in a religious way1 as ,i had before lived in a worldly one4 ,this mistake into which ,i fell was natural enough and common as it is natural2 but for all this it was very serious1 and might have been fatal to me1 as it has proved to multitudes4 ,i did not see then1 as ,i have since that turning over a new leaf to cover the past1 is not by any means the same thing as turning back the old leaves1 and getting them washed in the blood of the ,lamb4 ,i have said before that ,i did not know any better2 nor was ,i likely to see matters in a clearer light from the line of study in which ,i was chiefly occupied4 ,i was absorbed for the time1 not so much in the ,bible as in the ,tracts for the ,times--a publication which was engaging much attention4 ,these ,oxford tracts suited me exactly1 and fitted my tone of mind to a nicety4 ,their object was the restoration of the ,church of ,england from a cold1 formal condition1 into something like reality--from a secular to a religious state2 this also was my own present object for myself4 ,i read these writings with avidity1 and formed from them certain ecclesiastical proclivities which carried me on with renewed zeal4 ,i suppose ,i learned from the perusal of them to interpret the ,bible by the ,prayer-book1 and to regard the former as a book which no one could understand without the interpretation of the ,fathers4 ,certain it is1 that ,i did not look to the ,bible1 but to the ,church1 for teaching1 for ,i was led to consider that private judgment on the subject of ,scripture statements was very presumptuous4 ,i got1 moreover1 into a legal state1 and thought my acceptance with ,god depended upon my works1 and that ,his future favour would result upon my faithfulness and attention to works of righteousness which ,i was doing4 ,this made me very diligent in prayer1 fasting1 and almsdeeds2 and ,i often sat and dreamed about the works of mercy and devotion which ,i would do when ,i was permitted to go out again4 ,like persons in this state of mind1 ,i also relied on ordinances1 and was subject to them4 ,i took it for granted that ,i was a child of ,god1 because ,i had been baptized and brought into the ,church2 and having been confirmed and admitted to the ,lord's ,table1 ,i concluded that ,i was safely on the way to ,heaven4 ,i see now the error of this very earnest devotion1 and that ,i was going about to establish my own righteousness instead of submitting to the righteousness of ,god4 ,i like to remember these days and tell of them1 not because ,i am proud of them-far otherwise2 but because they show the kind forbearance and patience of ,god towards me1 and1 besides this1 they give me a clearer idea of the state of very many earnest people ,i meet with1 who enter upon a religious path in much the same way4 ,such persons make the two mistakes already referred to4 ,they start with believing in their surrender of themselves1 instead of ,god's acceptance of it2 and secondly1 they make their continuance therein depend upon their repeated acts of devotion4 ,they live and walk by their own works1 not by faith in the finished work of ,christ4 ,what shall ,i say to these things8 ,shall ,i denounce them as delusions1 or superstitious legality8 ,no4 ,i would far rather that people should be even thus religious than be without religious observances--far rather that they should be subject to the ,prayer-book teaching than be the sport of their own vain imaginings4 ,if men have not given their hearts to ,god and received forgiveness of sins1 it is better that they should give themselves to a ,church than yield themselves to the world and its vanities4 ,if ,i had to go over the ground again under the same circumstances1 ,i do not think ,i could take a better path4 ,church teaching by itself1 with all its legalities1 is superior to a man's own inventions2 and the form of godliness required by it1 even without spiritual power1 is better than no form or profession of religion4 ,to say the least1 ,church teachings1 when it is correctly followed1 instructs the conscience1 restrains and guides the will1 and imparts a practical morality which we do not find in any other system4 ,i have more hope of people who rest in some distinctive and positive dogmas than of those who merely deal with negations4 ,the former may be reached by spiritual teaching2 the latter are but shadowy adversaries with whom it is impossible to engage4 ,therefore1 when ,i see a man1 for conscience towards ,god1 giving up the world1 and taking up with reverential worship1 with even superstitious veneration for ecclesiastical things1 because they are so--when ,i see a man1 who was careless before1 become conscientious and true in all his outward dealings1 very particular in his observance of private and public prayer1 exercising self-denial1 living for others rather than himself1 bearing and forbearing in all quietness and meekness--,i cannot do otherwise than admire him4 ,this1 surely1 is far more lovely and admirable than the opposite of these things4 ,instead of joining in the outcry against such persons1 ,i feel rather in sympathy1 and have a desire in my heart to win them to still better things1 and to show them the way of ,god more perfectly4 ,i feel that they are stirred as ,i was1 and are struggling in self-righteousness1 not because they wilfully prefer it to ,god's righteousness1 but because they are yearning for true and spiritual reality4 ,they are in a transition state1 and the more restless they are1 the more assured ,i am that they will never attain real rest and satisfaction to their souls till they have found ,god1 and are found of ,him in ,christ ,jesus4 ,but the question may be asked1 ,is it possible for unsaved people 7spiritually dead7 to be so good and religious8 ,is not such a state an indication of spiritual vitality8 ,i answer1 without hesitation1 that it is possible4 ,religion by itself1 irrespective of the subject-matter of a creed1 may have a quieting and controlling effect upon the soul4 ,the ,hindoo1 the ,moslem1 the ,jew1 the ,romanist1 as well as the ,protestant1 may each and all be wonderfully self-possessed1 zealous1 devout1 or teachable1 or even all these together1 and yet remain dead souls4 ,as a boy in ,india1 ,i remember being greatly struck with the calmness of the ,hindoos1 as contrasted with the impatience and angry spirit of the ,english4 ,on one occasion ,i observed one of the former at his devotions4 ,he1 with others1 had been carrying me about in a palankeen all day in the hot sun4 ,in the evening1 he most reverently took from his girdle a piece of mud of the sacred river ,ganges1 or ,gunga1 as they call it1 and dissolving this in water1 he washed a piece of ground1 then1 having washed his feet and hands1 he stepped on this sacred spot1 and began to cook his food4 ,while it was preparing1 he was bowed to the ground1 with his face between his knees1 worshipping towards the setting sun4 ,a boy who was standing by me said1 ,if you touch that man he will not eat his dinner4 ,in a thoughtless moment ,i did so with my hand1 and immediately he rose from his devotions2 but1 instead of threatening and swearing at me1 as some might have done who belong to another religion1 he only looked reproachfully1 and said1 ,ah1 ,master ,william6 and then emptying out the rice which was on the fire1 he began his ceremony all over again4 ,it was quite dark before he had finished his poojah1 or worship1 and his meal4 ,this man's religious self-possession made a greater impression on me than if he had abused or even struck me1 for hindering his dinner4 ,i thought to myself1 ,i will be a ,hindoo when ,i grow up6 ,and truly ,i kept my word1 though not in the same form2 for what else was ,i in my earnest1 religious days6 ,this is an important question to settle1 and1 therefore1 ,i will give three examples from ,scripture4 ,no one can doubt the zeal of ,saul of ,tarsus4 ,this was no easy-going1 charitable creed1 which supposes all good men are right4 ,he was sure that if he was right1 as a natural consequence ,stephen was wrong1 even blasphemous1 and as such worthy of death4 ,therefore1 he had no scruples about instigating the death of such a one4 ,notwithstanding all this uncompromising and straightforward religiousness1 he needed to be brought from death to life4 ,again3 look at ,cornelius1 who was a devout man that feared ,god with all his house1 which gave much alms to the people1 and prayed to ,god alway 7,acts #aj3b74 ,there can be no mistake about this man with such a testimony2 and yet he also needed to hear words whereby he and all his house should be saved 7,acts #aa3ad74 ,next3 ,nicodemus1 ,i suppose it will be admitted1 was an earnest and religious man4 ,evidently1 he was one of those who believed in the name of ,jesus1 because he saw the miracles which ,he did 7,john #b3bc74 ,this man1 humble and teachable as he was1 came to ,jesus1 and said1 ,rabbi1 we know that ,thou art a teacher come from ,god1 for no man can do these miracles that ,thou doest1 except ,god be with him4 ,yet he was told1 ,except a man be born again1 he cannot see the kingdom of ,god4 ,marvel not that ,i said unto thee1 ,ye must be born again 7,john #c74 ,as surely as all mankind are dead in ,adam1 so surely every man needs spiritual life4 ,in this respect it was no new thing which the ,lord ,jesus propounded to ,nicodemus4 ,the spiritual change of heart he referred to has always been the one condition of intercourse with ,god4 ,all ,god's saints1 even in the ,old ,testament times1 had experienced 'this4 ,hence the ,lord's exclamation1 ,art thou a master of ,israel1 and knowest not these things8 ,it may be urged that these three men were not in the ,christian dispensation4 ,let this be granted2 but the point at hand is that they needed spiritual life1 though they were such good religious men4 ,it will not be very hard to prove that even baptized men in the ,christian dispensation need to be raised from death unto life just as much as any other children of ,adam4 ,it is clear1 both from ,scripture and experience1 that baptism1 whatever else it imparts1 does not give spiritual vitality4 ,st4 ,peter's testimony is this1 ,of a truth ,i perceive that ,god is no respecter of persons2 but in every nation he that feareth ,him and worketh righteousness is accepted with ,him 7,acts #aj3 #cd1 #ce74 ,accepted to be saved1 not because there is any merit in his works1 but because ,god sees that there is real sincerity in his living up to the light he has4 ,the heathen who know there is a ,god1 and do not worship ,his as ,god1 are given over to idolatry 7,rom4#a72 but1 on the other hand1 those who do worship ,him1 and give ,him thanks1 are taken in hand to be guided into life and truth4 ,therefore are we justified in hoping that earnest and religious men1 though they be dead1 if their religion is really towards ,god1 will be brought to spiritual life4 ,it was a happy winter to me1 however1 notwithstanding my spiritual deficiencies2 and the recollection of it still abides in my memory4 ,i had now no desire for the world and its pleasures4 ,my mind had quite gone from such empty amusements and frivolities2 even the taste ,i used to have for these things was completely taken away4 ,i was happier now than ever ,i had been before1 so that ,i am convinced from personal experience that even a religious life may be one of joy1 though by no means so satisfying and abiding as a truly spiritual one4 ,i was happy1 as ,i have already said1 and longed for the time when ,i could be ordained1 and devote my energies to work for ,god in the ministry4 ,,chapter #c ,ordination and ,first ,parish1 #ahdb4 ,on the returning spring1 as ,i was feeling so much stronger1 and altogether better1 ,i thought ,i would go and see the physician who had sounded me some months before4 ,he1 after a careful examination1 still adhered to his previous opinion1 and gave very little hope of my recovery1 but suggested that if ,i went to the north coast of ,cornwall there might be a chance for me4 ,on my return home1 ,i took up an ,ecclesiastical ,gazette1 though it was three months old1 and looked over the advertisements4 ,there ,i observed one which invited a curate for a church in that very neighbourhood4 ,it was a sole charge2 but1 strange to say1 a title for holy orders was offered also4 ,in reply to this ,i wrote a letter1 asking for particulars1 in which ,i stated my ,church views1 and that ,i was ordered to that part of the country for the benefit of my health4 ,the ,vicar1 who resided in another parish1 thirty miles off1 was so eager to get help for this one1 that he wrote back to say he had sent my letter to the ,bishop1 with one from himself1 and that ,i should hear from his lordship in a few days4 ,i was surprised at this precipitation of affairs1 and all the more so when ,i received a note from the ,bishop of ,exeter 7,phillpotts71 bidding me come to him immediately1 that ,i might be in time for the ,lent ordination4 ,accordingly1 ,i started westward1 and having passed my examination1 ,i was sent with letters dimissory to the ,bishop of ,salisbury 7,denison71 to whom ,i was also sent1 a year afterwards1 for priest's orders4 ,i was very weak1 and much exhausted with travelling1 but still went on1 though ,i know not how4 ,the long-desired day at length arrived1 and ,i was duly ordained2 but instead of being full of joy1 ,i became much depressed in mind and body1 and could not rouse myself from dwelling upon the ,bishop's address1 which was very solemn4 ,he told us that we were going to take charge of the souls of our parishioners1 and that ,god would require them at our hands2 we must take heed how we tended the ,lord's flock4 ,altogether1 it was more than ,i had calculated upon2 and feeling very ill that afternoon1 ,i thought that ,i had undertaken a burden which would certainly be my ruin4 ,what could ,i do with souls8 ,my idea of ordination was to be a clergyman1 read the prayers1 preach sermons1 and do all ,i could to bring people to church2 but how could ,i answer for souls which had to live for ever8 and what was ,i to do with them8 ,in the evening1 ,i so far roused myself as to go amongst the other candidates1 to sound them1 and ascertain what were their feelings with regard to the ,bishop's solemn address6 ,they merely thought that it was very beautiful1 and that he was a holy man2 and then some of them proposed that we should all go in a riding party1 to see ,stonehenge1 the next day4 ,it was especially thought that a drive on the ,wiltshire plains could do me a great deal of good1 if ,i did not feel strong enough to ride on horseback4 ,i agreed to this1 and went with them to see this famous temple of ,druidical worship2 and after that set off for ,plymouth1 on my way to the far west4 ,but1 alas6 the charm of ordination had fled1 and ,i was more than half sorry that ,i had undertaken so much4 ,it had been done so precipitately too1 for even now it was only ten days since ,i had seen the physician4 ,after resting a day1 ,i proceeded to ,truro1 and then took a post-chaise and drove out to my first parish1 called ,perranzabuloe1 which was situated about eight miles from ,truro1 on the north coast of ,cornwall4 ,i alighted at an old manor house1 where ,i was to have apartments with a farmer and his family4 ,being much fatigued1 ,i soon retired to bed1 anything but happy1 or pleased with the bleak and' rough-looking place to which ,i had come4 ,i slept well1 however1 and the next morning felt considerably better1 and was revived in spirits4 ,after making many inquiries about things in general1 ,i obtained the keys1 and made my way to the parish church1 which was about ten minutes' walk from the house4 ,here1 again1 ,i was greatly grieved and disappointed to see such a neglected churchyard and dilapidated church2 and when ,i went inside1 my heart sank1 for ,i had never seen a place of worship in such a miserable condition4 ,moreover1 ,i was told that the parish was seven miles long1 and that its large population of three thousand souls was scattered on all sides1 excepting round the church4 ,i had left my friends a long way off1 and was alone in a strange place1 with an amount of work and responsibility for which ,i knew ,i was thoroughly unprepared and unfit4 ,however1 ,i sauntered back to my lodgings1 and began to ruminate as to what was to be done4 ,i had now sole charge of this extensive parish1 for the duties of which ,i was to receive the very moderate stipend of forty pounds a year2 but of this ,i did not complain1 for my board and lodging1 with washing1 and the keep of a horse included1 was only twelve shillings a week1 leaving me a margin of nearly ten pounds for my personal expenses4 ,the questions that troubled me were--what was ,i to do with three thousand people8 ,and how was ,i to reach them8 ,in due course ,sunday morning arrived1 and with the help of a neighbouring clergyman1 who kindly came over1 as he said1 to put me in the way1 ,i got through the service 7being the only one for the day at that time71 having about a score of listless people1 lounging in different parts of the church1 for a congregation4 ,this was my first ,sunday in my first parish4 ,just at this time a book was sent me by a kind friend1 entitled ,the ,bishopric of ,souls1 which terrified me even more than the ,bishop's charge had done2 for ,i felt that1 notwithstanding my ardent desire to serve and glorify ,god1 ,i had not the remotest conception how to do it1 as regards winning souls4 ,the author of this book took it for granted that every one who had the office of a pastor1 had also the spiritual qualification for it2 but experience proves that this is by no means the case4 ,my ordination gave me an ecclesiastical position in the parish2 the law maintained me in it2 and the people expected me to do the duties of it3 but how to carry all this out1 except in a dry and formal way1 ,i did not know4 ,as time went on1 my parochial duties increased4 ,i had to baptize the children1 marry the young1 visit the sick1 and bury the dead2 but ,i could not help feeling how different was this in action1 to what it was in theory4 ,i had had a kind of dreamland parish in my head1 with daily service1 beautiful music1 and an assembly of worshipping people2 but instead of this1 ,i found a small1 unsympathizing congregation1 who merely looked upon these sacred things as duties to be done1 and upon me as the proper person to do them4 ,when ,i went to visit the sick ,i had nothing to say to them2 so ,i read a few ,collects1 and sometimes gave them a little temporal relief1 for which they thanked me2 but ,i came out dissatisfied with myself1 and longed for something more1 though ,i did not know what4 ,notwithstanding all these trials and disappointments1 my health was gradually improving4 ,i found that the air of this place was like meat and drink1 and gave me an appetite for something more substantial4 ,i very often frequented the beach1 with its beautiful cliffs1 and was much exhilarated by the bracing sea air2 indeed1 ,i had1 and still retain1 quite a love for the place4 ,as my strength and energy increased1 ,i rode about the parish all day1 making the acquaintance of the people1 and inviting them to come to church4 ,during my visits1 ,i found out that the church warden was a good musician1 and that he knew others in the parish who were able to play on various instruments2 so in order to improve the services1 and make them more attractive1 ,i urged him to invite these musical people to his house to practise2 and in due course we had a clarionet1 two fiddles1 and his bass viol1 with a few singers to form a choir4 ,we tried over some metrical psalms 7for there were no hymn-books in those days71 and soon succeeded in learning them4 ,this musical performance drew many people to church4 ,the singers were undeniably the great attraction1 and they knew it2 consequently ,i was somewhat in their power1 and had to submit to various anthems and pieces1 such as ,vital ,spark4 ,angels ,ever ,bright and ,fair1 and others1 not altogether to my taste1 but which they evidently performed to their own praise and satisfaction4 ,finding that the people were beginning to frequent the church1 ,i thought it was time to consider what steps should be taken about its restoration1 and made it the subject of conversation with the farmers4 ,it awakened and alarmed many of them when ,i said that the church must be restored1 and that we must have a church rate4 ,the chief farmer shook his head1 saying1 ,you cannot carry that2 but ,i replied1 ,according to law1 you are bound to keep up the fabric1 and it ought to be done4 ,i will write to the ,vicar at once about it4 ,he was a non-resident pluralist4 ,the farmer smiled at that1 and said1 laughing1 ,i will pledge myself that we will do as much as he does4 ,it so happened that the ,vicar1 equally incredulous about the farmers doing anything1 promised that he would do one half1 if they would do the other4 ,having ascertained this to my satisfaction1 ,i immediately sent for the mason of the village1 who played the clarionet in the church1 also his son1 who was one of the of the fiddles1 and consulted with them as to how this matter was to be accomplished4 ,they1 being in want of work at the time1 readily advised me in favour of restoration4 ,the churchwarden 7the bass viol7 said that he had no objection to this proceeding1 but that he would not be responsible4 ,in two months1 he added1 would be the annual vestry meeting4 ,that will do1 ,i said1 interrupting him2 and ,i made up my mind that ,i would at once restore the church1 and let the parishioners come and see it at that time4 ,having made all necessary preparations1 we commenced one fine ,monday morning with repairing the roof and walls2 and while the men were employed outside1 we took out the windows and opened all the doors1 to let the wind blow through1 that the interior of the building might be thoroughly dried4 ,this done1 we next coloured the walls1 also the stone arches and pillars 7they were far too much broken to display them72 and having cleaned the seats and front of the gallery1 we stained and varnished them1 matted the floor1 carpeted the sacrarium1 and procured a new cloth for the ,communion ,table1 and also for the 'pulpit and reading-desk4 ,all this being completed1 ,i painted texts with my own hands on the walls1 in old ,english characters4 ,i had great joy in writing these1 for ,i felt as if it was to the ,lord ,himself1 and for ,his name1 and finished with ,nehemiah's prayer1 ,remember me1 ,o my ,god1 concerning this2 and wipe not out my good deeds that ,i have done for the house of my ,god1 and for the offices thereof 7,neh4 #ac3ad74 ,altogether1 it was a pretty church now1 and a pretty sum was to be paid for it4 ,i told the vestry that ,i alone was responsible1 but that the ,vicar had promised to pay one half if the vestry would pay the other4 ,it seemed to be such a joy to them to get anything out of him1 that they made a rate at once2 and upon the ,vicar's letter1 raised the money and paid off the debt4 ,the people were much pleased with their church in its new aspect1 and brought their friends and neighbours to see it4 ,besides this1 ,i observed something which gratified me very much4 ,it was that when they entered the church they did so with reverence1 taking off their hats and walking softly1 in place of stamping with their heels and coming in with their hats on1 as they too often had previously done1 without any respect or concern whatever4 ,a neglected place of worship does not command reverence4 ,my church now began to be the talk of the neighbourhood4 ,numbers of people came to see it1 and among them several clergymen1 who asked me to come and restore their churches4 ,there were many places where the people could not afford to rebuild the structure4 ,in such1 ,i was invited to exercise my skill in repairing1 as ,i had done with my own2 in others1 ,i was asked to give designs for restoring portions of the edifice2 and in some1 for rebuilding altogether4 ,in this district1 schools were not built nor parsonage-houses enlarged without sending for me4 ,for several years ,i was looked upon as an authority in architectural matters4 ,i rode about all over the county from north to west1 restoring churches and designing schools1 and was accounted the busiest man alive2 and my horse1 my dog1 and myself1 the three leanest things in creation1 we were to be seen flying along the roads1 day and night1 in one part or another4 ,the ,bishop of ,exeter1 who at that time presided over ,cornwall1 appointed me to make new ,peel districts499 ,i designed nineteen1 and made all the maps myself1 calling on the ,vicars and ,rectors for their approbation4 ,i was at this time a very popular man1 and it was said that the ,bishop's best living would be given to me in due time4 99 ,the ,peel districts were the new ecclesiastical districts created under the ,church ,extension ,act1 introduced by ,sir ,robert ,peel4 ,,chapter #d ,antiquarian ,researches and ,ministry1 #ahdc-f4 ,another thing which raised my name in and beyond the county was the ,lost ,church at ,perranzabuloe4 ,there was an old ,british church existing in some sand-hills in the parish1 and it was said to be entire as far as the four walls4 ,the hill under which it was buried was easily known by the bones and teeth which covered it4 ,the legend said that the patron saint1 ,st4 ,piran1 was buried under the altar1 and that close by the little church was a cell in which he lived and died4 ,this was enough4 ,i got men1 and set to work to dig it up4 ,after some days' labour we came to the floor1 where we discovered the stone seats1 and on the plaster of the wall the greasy marks of the heads and shoulders of persons who had sat there many centuries ago4 ,we found the chancel step1 and also the altar tomb 7which was built east and west1 not north and south74 ,it was fallen1 but enough remained to show the original shape and height of it4 ,i put a notice in the newspapers1 inviting people to come and see the old church which had been buried for fifteen hundred years4 ,in the presence of many visitors1 clerical and lay1 we removed the stones of the altar1 and found the skeleton of ,st4 ,piran1 which was identified in three ways4 ,the legend said that he was a man seven feet high2 the skeleton measured six feet from the shoulder-bones to the heel ,again1 another legend said that his heart was enshrined in a church forty miles away2 the skeleton corresponded with this1 for it was headless4 ,moreover1 it was said that his mother and a friend were buried on either side of him2 we also found skeletons of a male and female in these positions4 ,being satisfied on this point1 we set the masons to work to rebuild the altar tomb in its original shape and size1 using the same stones as far as they would go4 ,we made up the deficiency with a heavy granite slab4 ,on this ,i traced with my finger1 in rude ,roman letters1 ,,sanctus ,,piranus4 ,the mason would not cut those crooked letters unless ,i consented for him to put his name in better ones in the corner4 ,i could not agree to this1 so his apprentice and ,i1 between us1 picked out the rude letters1 which have since 7,i have heard7 been copied for a veritable ,roman inscription4 ,my name was now up as an antiquary1 and ,i was asked to be the secretary 7for the ,west of ,england7 to the ,archaeological ,society4 ,i was supposed to be an old gentleman1 and heard myself quoted as the venerable and respected ,haslam1 whose word was considered enough to settle a knotty point beyond doubt4 ,i was invited to give a lecture on the old ,perran ,church1 at the ,royal ,institution1 ,truro1 which ,i did2 illustrating it with sketches of the building1 and exhibiting some rude remains of carving1 which are now preserved in the museum there4 ,the audience requested me 7through their chairman7 to print my lecture4 ,this ,i undertook also2 but being very young in literary enterprises1 ,i added a great deal of other matter to the manuscript which ,i was preparing for the press4 ,there was much in the book 99 about early ,christianity and ecclesiastical antiquities4 ,i imagined that this parish was1 in ,british and ,druidic times1 a populous place1 and somewhat important4 ,there was a ,round1 or amphitheatre1 for public games1 and four ,british castles2 also a great many sepulchral mounds on the hills1 the burial-place of chieftains4 ,i supposed that ,st4 ,piran came here among these rude natives 7perhaps painted savages7 to preach the ,gospel1 and then built himself a cell by the sea-shore1 near a spring or well1 where he baptized his converts4 ,close by1 he built this little church1 in which he worshipped ,god and prayed for the people4 99 ,the ,church of ,st4 ,piran4 ,published by ,van ,voorst4 ,this little building still remains entire1 under the sand4 ,some pieces of ,british pottery and limpet-shells were found outside the door4 ,the words of the poet ,spenser do not inaptly describe this scene of other days3-- ,a little1 lowly hermitage it was1 ,downe in a dale-- ,far from resort of people1 that did pas ,in treveill to and fro3 a litle wyde ,there was a holy chappell edifyde1 ,wherein the hermite dewly wont to say ,his holy things each morn and eventyde2 ,thereby a crystall streame did gently play1 ,which1 from a sacred fountaine welled forth away4 ,here then1 more than fourteen centuries ago1 people called upon ,god2 and when their little sanctuary was overwhelmed with the sand1 they removed to the other side of the river1 and built themselves another church2 but they still continued to bury their dead around and above the oratory and resting-place of ,st4 ,piran4 ,when my book was published1 there ensued a hot controversy about the subject of it2 and some who came to see the ,lost ,church for themselves1 declared that it was nothing more than a modern cowshed2 others would not believe in the antiquity ,i claimed for it3 one of these even ventured to assert his opinion in print1 that it was at least eight centuries later than the date ,i had fixed2 another asked in a newspaper letter1 ,how is it1 if this is a church1 that there are no others of the same period on record8 ,this roused me to make further research2 and ,i was soon rewarded by finding in the registry at ,exeter a list of ninety-two churches existing in ,cornwall alone in the time of ,edward the ,confessor1 of which ,lam-piran was one4 ,with the help of another antiquary1 ,i discovered nine in one week1 in the west part of the county1 with foundation walls and altar tombs1 of which ,i published an account in the ,archaeological ,journal4 ,this paper set other persons to work1 who discovered similar remains in various parts of the country2 and thus it was proved to demonstration that we had more ecclesiastical antiquities1 and of earlier date1 than we were aware of4 ,next1 my attention was directed to ,cornish crosses2 about which ,i also sent a paper1 with illustrations1 as a good secretary and correspondent to the same ,journal4 ,my researches on this subject took me back to a very remote time4 ,i found crosses among ,roman remains1 with inscriptions1 something like those in the ,catacombs near ,rome--these were evidently ,christian2 but ,i found crosses also among ,druidic antiquities4 ,i could not help inquiring1 ,where did the ,druids get this sign8 ,from the ,phoenicians4 ,where did they get it8 ,from the ,egyptians4 ,where did they get it8 ,then ,i discovered that the cross had come to ,egypt with traditions about a garden1 a woman1 a child1 and a serpent1 and that the cross was always represented in the hand of the second person of their trinity of gods4 ,this personage had a human mother1 and slew the serpent which had persecuted her499 99 ,these traditions came to the ,egyptians from an ancestor who had come over the flood with seven others4 ,here was a wonderful discovery6 ,the mythology of ,egypt was based on original tradition1 handed down from ,antediluvian times6 ,from further investigation1 it was evident that the substance of ,hindoo mythology came from the same source2 as also that of the ,greeks1 ,chinese1 ,mexicans1 and ,scandinavians4 ,this is how the ,druids got the cross also3 it was in the hand of their demi-god ,thor1 the second person of their triad1 who slew the great serpent with his famous hammer1 which he bequeathed to his followers4 ,i was beside myself with excitement1 and walked bout the room in a most agitated state4 ,i then made a table or harmony of these various mythologies1 and when placed side by side1 it was quite clear that they were just one and the same story1 though dressed up in a variety of mythological forms1 and that the story was none other than that of the ,bible4 ,in my architectural journeys ,i used to entertain1 people with these wondrous subjects2 and one evening ,i had the honour of agitating even the ,bishop of ,exeter himself1 who1 in his enthusiasm1 bade me write a book1 and dedicate it to him4 ,i did so4 ,the ,cross and the ,serpent is the title of it1 and it was duly inscribed to his lordship4 ,it excites me even now to think about it1 though it is thirty-five years since ,i made these discoveries4 ,the old librarian at ,oxford declared that ,i was mad1 and yet he could not keep away from the subject1 and he was never weary of hearing something more about it4 ,this reverend ,doctor said1 ,if you are right1 then all the great antiquaries are wrong4 ,i suggested that they had not had the advantage ,i possessed of placing their various theories side by side1 or of making their observations from my point of view4 ,notwithstanding all these external labours1 which engrossed my earnest and deep attention1 ,i did not neglect my parish4 ,i felt1 however1 that my parishioners did not know anything about ecclesiastical antiquities or architectural science2 and that they knew nothing1 and cared less1 about ,church teaching4 ,they did not believe1 with me1 that in order to be saved hereafter1 they ought to be in the ,church1 and receive the ,holy ,communion--that there is no salvation out of the ,church1 and no ,church without a ,bishop4 ,they were utterly careless about these things and from the first had been an unsympathetic and unteachable people4 ,i feel sure that had it not been for other interesting occupations which engaged my mind1 ,i should have been altogether discouraged with them4 ,i tried to stir them up to a zeal worthy of their ancestors1 who were such good and loyal ,churchmen1 that ,king ,charles the ,first wrote them a letter of ,commendation1 and commanded that it should be put up in all the churches4 ,i had a copy of this letter well painted1 framed1 and placed in a conspicuous part of my church4 ,then ,i prepared an original sermon1 which ,i preached1 or rather read1 to inaugurate the royal letter4 ,my text was taken from ,heb4 #ab3bb-bd1 ,ye are come unto ,mount ,sion1 and unto the city of the living ,god1 the heavenly ,jerusalem1 and to an innumerable company of angels1 to the general assembly and church of the first-born1 which are written in heaven1 and to ,god the ,judge of all1 and to the spirits of just men made perfect1 and to ,jesus the mediator of the new covenant1 and to the blood of sprinkling1 that speaketh better things than that of ,abel4 ,i applied these words to the ,church of ,england1 and rather reproached the ,cornish people for not being more loyal and scriptural6 ,i think ,i was more roused by my sermon than any one else2 and no one asked me to print it1 but ,i did for all that1 with a copy of the king's letter4 ,i am sorry to say that the public did not care sufficiently about it to buy copies enough even to pay for printing4 ,it fell very flat1 but ,i attributed that to the degeneracy of the times1 and of ,cornish people in particular4 ,the fact was1 they understood that text far better than ,i did1 and knew that the ,church of the first-born was something more spiritual than ,i had any conception of4 ,from the commencement of my ministry ,i did not1 as a general rule1 preach my own sermons1 but ,newman's1 which ,i abridged and simplified1 for in that day ,i thought them most sound in doctrine1 practical and full of good common sense4 ,indeed1 as far as ,church teaching went1 they were1 to my mind1 perfect4 ,they stated doctrines and drew manifest conclusions2 but my people were not satisfied with them then2 and ,i can see now1 thank ,god6 that1 with all their excellences1 they were utterly deficient in spiritual vitality4 ,their author was one whom ,i personally admired very much1 but by his own showing1 in his ,apologia4 he was a man who was searching not for ,god1 but for a ,church4 ,at length1 when he grasped the ideal of what a ,church ought to be1 he tried by the ,oxford ,tracts1 especially ,no4 ,,xc1 to raise the ,church of ,england to his standard2 and failing in that1 he became dissatisfied1 and went over to the ,church of ,rome4 ,once1 when ,i arrived at a friend's house in the ,lake district1 ,i was told that there was a most beautiful view of distant mountains to be seen from my window4 ,in the morning ,i lifted the blind to look1 but only saw an ordinary view of green fields1 hedges1 trees and a lake4 ,there was nothing else whatever to be seen4 ,in the course of the day1 a heavy mist which had been hanging over the lake was dispersed1 and then ,i saw the beautiful mountains which before had been so completely veiled that it was difficult to believe in their existence4 ,so it was with me4 ,i could see ecclesiastical things1 but the more glorious view of spiritual realities beyond them1 in all their full and vast expanse1 was as yet hidden4 ,whether my extracts from ,newman's ,sermons were more pointed1 or whether ,i became more impatient with my congregation1 ,i cannot tell1 but it was very evident that my words were beginning to take effect at last2 for as ,i went on preaching and protesting against the people and against schism1 my bass viol called on me one day1 and said1 ,if you go on preaching that doctrine1 you will drive away the best part of your congregation4 ,excuse me1 ,i answered1 not the best part2 you mean the worse part4 ,well1 ho said1 you will see4 ,on the following ,sunday1 ,i gave out my text1 and had scarcely read three pages of my manuscript when ,i heard a voice say1 ,now we will go4 ,with this1 the bass viol1 the other fiddles1 the clarionet1 the ophicleide1 and the choir1 came stumping down the gallery stairs1 and marched out4 ,some of the congregation followed their example1 with the determination never to come back to the ,church again4 ,i waited till the noise was over1 and then went on with my sermon meekly1 and thought myself a martyr for ,church principles4 ,i little thought that the people were being martyred2 yet they were right1 and enlightened in the truth1 while ,i was altogether in the dark1 and knew nothing about it4 ,from this time there was a constant feud between the parishioners and myself4 ,i thought that they were schismatics2 and they knew that ,i was unconverted1 and did not preach the ,gospel4 ,one day1 a ,dissenter called to pay a burial fee for the funeral of his child1 which he had purposely omitted paying at the proper time because he wished to tell me a piece of his mind4 ,i was absent on the occasion on some architectural or archaeological business1 which was to me all important4 ,i know1 he said1 why you went away and would not bury my child4 ,do you8 ,i asked4 ,yes2 it was because ,i am a ,dissenter4 ,oh6 ,i said1 ,i would bury you all to-morrow if ,i could2 for you are no good1 and can do none either4 ,this went round the parish like wildfire1 and did not advance my popularity or do my cause any good4 ,seriously at this time ,i thought that separation from the ,church of ,england was a most deadly sin--it was schism4 ,idolatry and murder were sins against the ,mosaic law2 but this was a sin against the ,church4 ,i little dreamt then that many of the people with whom ,i thus contended1 and whom ,i grieved so much1 were real spiritual members of ,christ1 and had only ceased to be members of the ,church of ,england because ,i did not preach the ,gospel2 that1 in fact1 ,i was the cause of their leaving the services2 that ,i was the schismatic1 for ,i was separated from ,christ3 they only1 and that for a good reason1 had separated from the communion of the ,church of ,england1 which ,i misrepresented4 ,the ,church of ,england's teaching since the ,reformation1 like that of the primitive ,church1 is based not on baptism1 but conversion4 ,baptism was intended according to the ,lord's commandment 7,matt #bh3ai71 for the purpose of making disciples99--that is1 to graft members into the body of ,christ's ,church outwardly4 ,whatever special grace is given to infants and others at baptism1 is given upon the condition of personal faith and repentance4 ,until a baptized person has been enabled by the ,holy ,ghost to repent and believe the ,gospel1 he is not really a new-born child of ,god1 or raised from death into life1 though nominally1 in the words of the ,catechism1 he has been made a child of ,god4 99 ,see ,greek ,since the feuds and dissensions in my parish1 the church was almost deserted1 and left chiefly to myself1 my clerk1 and a few poor people1 who1 for the most part1 were in ill favour in the chapels4 ,one day ,i was absorbed in writing1 or rather rewriting1 a text over the porch door of the church4 ,it was1 ,this is none other but the house of ,god1 and this is the gate of heaven4 ,a man who was standing at the foot of the ladder said1 ,heaven is a long way from that gate1 ,i reckon4 ,i pretended not to hear him1 but his speech stuck to me4 ,i knew only too well from this1 and many other indications1 that the people had no respect for the church under my ministrations4 ,,chapter #e ,the ,new ,parish1 #ahdf4 ,about this time the news reached us that the ,vicar was dead2 and thus ended my connection with ,perranzabuloe4 ,as the ,dean and ,chapter would not appoint me to succeed1 ,i had no alternative but to make arrangements for my departure4 ,in one sense ,i was not sorry to go2 but for various other reasons ,i much regretted having to leave a place where my health had been so wonderfully restored and sustained1 and in which ,i had received so many tokens of ,god's favour4 ,it is true that my labours were of an external character2 but these ,i thought most important1 and did them with all my might as unto the ,lord4 ,i took the work as from ,him1 and did it all to ,him1 and for ,him1 thanking ,him for any token of success or commendation which ,i received4 ,i also regretted leaving the place before ,i had done any good to the people2 for1 with all my endeavours1 ,i had not succeeded in persuading them to receive my idea of salvation by churchmanship4 ,however1 the door was shut behind me2 and this crisis happened at the exact time of another important event in my life4 ,i was just engaged to be married1 and therefore had an additional interest in looking for a sphere of labour which would suit me1 and also the partner of my choice1 who was in every respect likely to be an effectual helpmeet ,this was soon found and we agreed together to give ourselves to the ,lord's work 7as we thought7 in it4 ,one of the ,peel districts in the neighbourhood of ,truro1 which ,i had designed1 called ,baldhu1 was on the ,earl of ,falmouth's estate3 it came to his ,lordship's mind to take an interest in this desolate spot2 so he bought the patronage from the commissioners1 and then offered it to me1 to ,be made into a new parish4 ,this ,i accepted1 with many thanks1 and began immediately to dream about my plans for the future4 ,it was a time of great distress in that place amongst the tenants1 on account of the failure of the potato crop2 so his lordship employed some hundreds of the men in breaking up the barren croft for planting trees2 there he gave me a good central site for a church4 ,now ,i made up my mind to have everything perfect1 and with my own rules and regulations1 my surpliced choir1 churchwardens1 and frequent services1 all after my own heart1 it could scarcely fall to be otherwise4 ,i thought that having free scope1 mine should be a model place4 ,the district was in a barren part of a large palish2 three thousand souls had been assigned to me2 and ,i was to go and civilize them1 build my church1 school-house1 and1 indeed1 establish everything that was necessary4 ,to begin with1 ,i took a room which was used for a village school in the week1 and for a service on ,sunday4 ,this succeeded so well1 that in a few months ,i determined to enlarge the building in which we assembled1 as speedily as possible4 ,having made all necessary plans1 and procured stones1 timber1 and slate1 we commenced operations at five o'clock one ,monday morning1 and by ,saturday night had a chancel 7which ,i thought most necessary7 ready for ,sunday use6 ,all the world came to see this sudden erection4 ,this temporary church now held three hundred people2 and with the addition of a new choir and hearty service1 it was a great success1 or1 at least1 so ,i imagined1 for in those days ,i did not look for more4 ,i entered upon my work here with renewed energy and sanguine hope4 ,i had1 of course1 gained more experience in the various duties of my ministry1 and had1 moreover1 a clearer perception1 as ,i thought1 how sacramental teaching1 under the authority of the ,church1 ought to work4 ,i preached on holy living1 not conversion1 for as yet ,i knew nothing about the latter4 ,in #ahdg1 ,i went on a visit to a very remarkable man1 who had a great effect upon me in many ways4 ,he was the ,rev4 ,robert ,hawker1 of ,morwenstow1 in the extreme north of ,cornwall499 99 ,see his ,,life1 by ,rev4 ,baring ,gould4 ,this friend was a poet1 and a ,high ,churchman1 from whom ,i learned many practical lessons4 ,he was a man who prayed1 and expected an answer2 he had a wonderful perception for realizing unseen things1 and took ,scripture literally1 with startling effect4 ,he certainly was most eccentric in many of his ways2 but there was a reality and straightforwardness about him which charmed me very much2 and ,i was the more drawn to him1 from the interest he took in me and my work4 ,he knew many legends of holy men of old1 and said that the patron saints of ,west ,cornwall were in the calendar of the ,eastern ,church1 and those in the north of ,cornwall belonged to the ,western4 ,his own patron saint1 ,morwenna1 was a ,saxon1 and his church a ,saxon fane4 ,he talked of these saints as if he knew all about them1 and wrote of them in a volume of poems thus3-- ,they had their lodges in the wilderness1 ,and built them cells along the shadowy sea2 ,and there they dwelt with angels like a dream1 ,and filled the field of the evangelists ,with thoughts as sweet as flowers4 ,he used to give most thrilling and grand descriptions of the storms of the ,atlantic1 which broke upon the rocky coast with gigantic force1 and tell thrilling stories of shipwrecks2 how he saved the lives of some of the sailors1 and how he recovered the bodies of others he could not save4 ,then in the churchyard he would show you--there1 a broken boat turned over the resting-place of some2 here1 two oars set up crosswise over several others2 and in another part the figure-head of a ship1 to mark the spot where the body of a captain was buried4 ,the ,vicarage house was as original as himself4 ,over the door was inscribed-- ,a house1 a glebe1 a pound a day2 ,a pleasant place to watch and pray4 ,be true to ,church1 be kind to poor1 ,o minister1 for evermore6 ,the interior was furnished with old-fashioned heavy furniture and the outside was conspicuous for its remarkable chimneys1 which were finished off as models of the towers of churches where he had served4 ,the kitchen chimney1 which was oblong1 perplexed him very much1 till 7as he said7 ,i bethought me of my mother's tomb2 and there it is1 in its exact shape and dimensions6 ,he had daily service in his church1 generally by himself1 when he prayed for the people4 ,i did not want them there4 he said4 ,god hears me2 and they know when ,i am praying for them1 for ,i ring the bell4 ,he had much influence in his parish1 chiefly amongst the poor1 and declared that his people did whatever he told them4 ,they used to bring a bunch of flowers or evergreens every ,sunday morning1 and set them up in their pew ends1 where a proper place was made to hold them4 ,the whole church was seated with carved oak benches1 which he had bought from time to time from other churches1 when they were re-pewed with deal boxes6 ,on the ,sunday1 ,i was asked to help him in the service1 and for this purpose was arrayed in an alb1 plain1 which was just like a cassock in white linen4 ,as ,i walked about in this garb1 ,i asked a friend1 ,how do you like it8 ,in an instant ,i was pounced upon1 and grasped sternly on the arm by the ,vicar4 ',like' has nothing to do with it2 is it right8 ,he himself wore over his alb a chasuble1 which was amber on one side and green on the other1 and was turned to suit the ,church seasons2 also a pair of crimson-colored gloves1 which1 he contended1 were the proper sacrificial colour for a priest4 ,i had very little to do in the service but to witness his proceedings1 which ,i observed with great attention1 and even admiration4 ,his preaching struck me very much2 he used to select the subject of his sermon from the ,gospel of the day all through the year4 ,this happened to be ,good ,samaritan ,sunday1 so we had a discourse upon the certain man who went down from ,jerusalem to ,jericho1 in which he told us that the poor wounded man was ,adam's race2 the priest who went by was the ,patriarchal dispensation2 the ,levite1 the ,mosaic2 and the good ,samaritan represented ,christ2 the inn was the ,church2 and the twopence1 the ,sacraments4 ,he held his manuscript before his face1 and read it out boldly1 because he hated1 as he said1 those fellows who read their sermons1 and all the time pretend to preach them2 and he especially abhorred those who secreted notes in their ,bibles3 ,either have a book1 sir1 or none6 ,he had a great aversion to ,low ,church clergymen1 and told me that his stag ,robin1 who ranged on the lawn1 had the same2 and that once he pinned one of them to the ground between his horns4 ,the poor man cried out in great fear2 so he told ,robin to let him go1 which he did1 but stood and looked at the obnoxious individual as if he would like to have him down again and frighten him1 though he would not hurt him--,robin was kind-hearted4 ,this ,evangelical1 he continued1 had a tail coat2 he was dressed like an undertaker1 sir4 ,once upon a time there was one like him travelling in ,egypt1 with a similar coat and a tall hat2 and the ,arabs pursued him1 calling him the 'father of saucepans1 with a slit tail4' ,this part of his speech was evidently meant for me1 for ,i wore a hat and coat of this description1 finding it more convenient for the saddle1 and for dining out when ,i alighted4 ,he persuaded me to wear a priestly garb like his1 and gave me one of his old cassocks for a pattern2 this ,i succeeded in getting made to my satisfaction1 after considerable difficulty4 ,i came back to my work full of new thoughts and plans1 determined to do what was right and this in spite of all fears1 whether my own1 or those of others4 ,i now began to think more of the reality of prayer1 and of the meaning of the services of the ,church2 ,i emphasized my words1 and insisted upon proper teaching4 ,i also paid more attention to my sermons1 having hitherto disregarded them2 for1 as ,i said1 the ,druids never preached2 they only worshipped4 ,i help up my manuscript and read my sermon1 like ,mr4 ,hawker2 and ,i wore a square cap and cassock1 instead of the saucepan and the tails4 ,this costume ,i continued to wear for several years1 though ,i was frequently laughed at1 and often pursued by boys1 which was not agreeable to flesh and blood2 but it helped to separate me from the world1 and to make me feel that ,i was set apart as a priest to offer sacrifice for the people4 ,in course of time ,i began to make preparations for my permanent church4 ,i drew the designs for it1 passed them1 and obtained money enough to begin to build4 ,there was a grand ceremony at the stone-laying1 and a long procession4 ,we had banners1 chanting1 and a number of surpliced clergy1 besides a large congregation4 ,the ,earl of ,falmouth1 who laid the stone1 contributed a thousand pounds towards the edifice2 his mother gave three hundred pounds for a peal of bells2 and others of the gentry who were present contributed2 so that upwards of eighteen hundred pounds was promised that day4 ,just twelve months after1 ,july #bj1 #ahdh1 the same company1 with many others1 and the ,bishop of ,exeter 7,phillpotts7 came to consecrate the beautiful church4 ,in the meantime1 between the stone-laying and the consecration1 the ,parsonage house had been built1 and1 more than that1 it was even papered1 furnished1 and inhabited6 ,besides all this1 there was a garden made1 and a doorway1 after an ecclesiastical mode1 leading into the churchyard1 with this inscription over it3-- ,be true to ,church1 ,be kind to poor1 ,o minister1 for evermore4 ,in this church there were super-altars1 candles1 triptych1 and also a painted window2 organ1 choir1 and six bells2 so that for those days it was considered a very complete thing4 ,the priest of ,baldhu1 with his cassock and square cap1 was quite a character in his small way4 ,he preached in a surplice1 of course1 and propounded ,church tactics1 firmly contending for the ,church teaching4 ,the ,wesleyans and others had their distinctive tenets1 the ,church must have hers3 they had their members enrolled1 the ,church must have hers2 therefore he would have a guild1 with the view of keeping his people together4 ,outwardly there was an esprit de corps1 and the parishioners came to church1 and took an interest in the proceedings2 but it was easy to see that their hearts were elsewhere4 ,still ,i went on1 hoping against hope1 building from the top without any foundation1 teaching people to live before they were born6 ,,chapter #f ,the ,awakening1 #ahdh-ea4 ,he more earnestly ,i wrought among the people1 and the better ,i knew them1 the more ,i saw that the mere attachment to the ,church1 and punctual attendance at the services or frequency of ,communion1 was not sufficient4 ,i wanted something deeper4 ,i wanted to reach their hearts in order to do them good4 ,whether this desire sprang up in the ordinary progress by which ,god was imperceptibly leading me1 or from a story ,i heard at a clerical meeting1 ,i know not--perhaps from both4 ,my mind was evidently as ground prepared to receive the warning4 ,the story was about a dream a clergyman had4 ,he thought the ,judgment day was come1 and that there was1 as it were1 a great visitation--greater than the ,bishop's4 ,the clergy were mustering1 and appeared in their gowns1 but instead of being alone1 they had part of their congregations with them4 ,some had a few followers1 others had more1 and some a great many2 and ail these received a gracious smile from the ,judge when their names were called4 ,the clergyman who dreamed was waiting1 as he supposed1 with a large number of people at his back ,when his turn came he went forward2 but1 as he approached1 he saw that the ,judge's countenance was sad and dark4 ,in a sudden impulse of suspicion he looked back2 and lo6 there was no one behind him4 ,he stopped1 not daring to go any further1 and turning to look at the ,judge1 saw that ,his countenance was full of wrath4 ,this dream had such an effect upon him that he began to attend to his parish and care for the souls of his people4 ,i also was beginning to see that ,i ought to care for the souls of my people-at least1 as much as ,i did for the services ,of the ,church4 ,as a priest1 ,i had the power 7so ,i thought7 to give them absolution2 and yet none1 alas6 availed themselves of the opportunity4 ,how could they have forgiveness if they did not come to me8 ,this absolution ,i believed to be needful before coming to ,holy ,communion1 and that it was1 indeed1 the true preparation for that sacred ordinance4 ,i used to speak privately to the members of the ,church ,guild about this1 and persuaded some of them to come to me for confession and absolution3 but ,i was restless1 and felt that ,i was doing good by stealth4 ,besides this1 those whom ,i thus absolved were not satisfied1 for they said they could not rejoice in the forgiveness of their sins as the ,methodists did1 or say that they were pardoned4 ,in this respect ,i was working upon most tender ground1 but ,i did not know what else to do4 ,i used to spend hours and hours in my church alone in meditation and prayer2 and1 while thinking1 employed my hands in writing texts over the windows and on the walls1 and in painting ornamental borders above the arches4 ,i remember writing over the chancel arch1 with much interest and exultation1 ,now is come salvation1 and strength1 and the kingdom of our ,god1 and the power of ,his ,christ4 7,rev4 #ab3aj74 ,i imagined1 in my sanguine hope1 that the kingdom of ,christ was come1 and that the accuser of the brethren was cast down4 ,i thought ,i saw1 in the power of ,christ given to ,his priests1 such victory that nothing could stand against it4 ,so much for dwelling on a theory1 right or wrong1 till it fills the mind4 ,yet ,i cannot say that all this was without prayer4 ,i did wait upon ,god1 and thought my answers were from ,him2 but ,i see now that ,i went to the ,lord with an idol in my heart1 and that ,he answered me according to it 7,ezek4 #ad3c74 ,one day ,i saw a picture in a friend's house which attracted me during the time ,i was waiting for him4 ,it was nothing artistic1 nor was it over well drawn1 but still it engaged my attention in a way for which ,i could not account4 ,when my friend came down we talked about other things2 but even after ,i left the house this picture haunted me4 ,at night ,i lay awake thinking about it--so much so1 that ,i rose early the next morning1 and went to a bookseller's shop1 where ,i bought a large sheet of tracing-paper and pencil1 and sent them out by the postman1 with a note to my friend1 begging him to give me a tracing of the picture in question4 ,i had to wait for more than a fortnight before it arrived1 and then how great was my joy6 ,i remember spreading a white cloth on my table1 and opening out the tracing-paper upon it2 and there was the veritable picture of the ,good ,shepherd6 ,his countenance was loving and kind4 ,with one hand ,he was pushing aside the branch of a tree1 though a great thorn went right through it2 and with the other ,he was extricating a sheep which was entangled in the thorns4 ,the poor thing was looking up in helplessness1 all spotted over with marks of its own blood1 for it was wounded in struggling to escape4 ,another thing which struck me in this picture was that the tree was growing on the edge of a precipice1 and had it not been for it 7the tree71 with all the cruel wounds it inflicted1 the sheep would have gone over and perished4 ,after considering this picture for a long time1 ,i painted it in a larger size on the wall of my church1 just opposite the entrance door1 so that every one who came in might see it4 ,i cannot describe the interest with which ,i employed myself about this work2 and when it was done1 finding that it wanted a good bold foreground1 ,i selected a short text-,he came to seek and to save that which was lost4 ,god was speaking to me all this time about the ,good ,shepherd who gave ,his life for me2 but ,i did not hear ,him1 or suspect that ,i was lost1 or caught in any thorns1 or hanging over a precipice2 therefore1 ,i did not apply the subject to myself4 ,certainly1 ,i remember that my thoughts dwelt very much on forgiveness and salvation1 but ,i preached that these were to be had in and by the ,church1 which was as the ,ark in which ,noah was saved4 ,baptism was the door of this ,ark1 and ,holy ,communion the token of abiding in it2 and all who were not inside were lost4 ,what would become of those outside the ,church was a matter which greatly perplexed me4 ,i could not dare to say they would be lost forever2 but where could they be now8 and what would become of them hereafter8 ,i longed to save ,john ,bunyan2 but he was such a determined schismatic that it was impossible to make out a hope for him6 ,sometimes ,i was cheered by the thought that he had been duly baptized in infancy1 and that his after-life was one of ignorance2 but this opened the door too wide1 and made my theory of salvation by the ,church a very vague and uncertain thing4 ,so deeply was the thought ingrained in my mind that one day ,i baptized myself conditionally in the ,church1 for fear that ,i had not been properly baptized in infancy1 and consequently should be lost hereafter4 ,i had no idea that ,i was lost now2 far from that1 ,i thought ,i was as safe as the ,church herself1 and that the gates of hell could not prevail against me4 ,i had many conversations with the earnest people in my parish1 but they were evidently resting1 not where ,i was1 but on something ,i did not know4 ,one very happy woman told me1 ,ah6 you went to college to larn the ,latin2 but though ,i don't know a letter in the ,book1 yet ,i can read my title clear to mansions in the skies4 ,another woman1 whenever ,i went to see her1 made me read the story of her conversion1 which was written out in a copy-book4 ,several other1 men and women1 talked to me continually about their conversion4 ,i often wondered what that was2 but1 as ,i did not see much self-denial among these converted ones1 and observed that they did not attend ,god's ,house nor ever come to the ,lord's table4 ,i thought conversion could not be of much consequence1 or anything to be desired4 ,i little knew that ,i was the cause of their remaining away from church1 and from the ,lord's table4 ,one thoughtful man told me1 ,cornish people are too enlightened to go to church6 ,a man must give up religion to go there2 only unconverted people and backsliders go to such a place6 ,yet this was a prayerful man4 ,what did he mean8 ,at various clerical meetings ,i used to repeat these things1 but still obtained no information or satisfaction4 ,i made it a rule to visit every house in my parish once a week1 taking from twelve to twenty each day1 when ,i sought to enlighten the people by leaving ,church tracts1 and even wrote some myself2 but they would not do4 ,i found that the ,religious ,tract ,society's publications were more acceptable4 ,to my great disappointment1 ,i discovered too1 that ,evangelical sermons drew the people1 while sacramental topics did not interest them4 ,so1 in my ardent desire to reach and do them good1 ,i procured several volumes of ,evangelical sermons1 and copied them1 putting in sometimes a negative to their statements1 to make them1 as ,i thought1 right4 ,now ,i began to see and feel that there was some good in preaching1 and used the pulpit intentionally1 in order to communicate with my people1 carefully writing or compiling my sermons4 ,but ,i must confess that ,i was very nervous in my delivery1 and frequently lost my place--sometimes even myself2 and this to the great confusion of the congregation4 ,i will tell how it pleased the ,lord to deliver me from this bondage of nervousness1 and enable me to open my lips so as to plainly speak out my meaning4 ,one day1 a friend with whom ,i was staying was very late in coming down to breakfast2 so1 while ,i was waiting1 ,i employed myself in reading the ,life of ,bishop ,shirley1 of ,sodor and ,man4 ,my eyes happened to fall on a passage1 describing a difficulty into which he fell by losing his sermon on his way to a country church4 ,when the prayers were over1 and the psalm was nearly sung1 he put his hand into his pocket for his manuscript1 and1 to his dismay1 it was gone4 ,there was no time to continue his search2 so he gave out a text1 and preached1 as he said1 in dependence upon ,god1 and never wrote a sermon afterwards4 ,when my friend came to breakfast1 he asked me what ,i had been doing all the morning4 ,i told him4 ,ah6 he said1 quietly4 ,why do you not preach in dependence upon ,god and go without a book like that good man8 4444 ,i preach like that6 ,i said in amazement1 terrified at the very thought4 ,yes4 he answered1 mischievously1 ,you4 ,who needs to depend upon ,god for this more than you do8 ,seeing that ,i was perturbed at his suggestion1 he went on teasing me all breakfast time1 and at last said1 ,well1 what is your decision8 ,do you mean to preach in future in dependence upon ,god8 ,i said1 ,yes2 ,i have made up my mind to begin next ,sunday4 ,now it was his turn to be terrified1 and he did all he could to dissuade me1 saying1 ,you will make a fool of yourself6 ,no fear of that1 ,i replied2 ,i do it already2 ,i cannot be worse4 ,no2 ,i will begin next ,sunday6 ,i came back with the determination to keep my promise1 but must confess that ,i grew more and more uneasy as the time approached4 ,however1 on ,sunday1 ,i went up into the pulpit1 and spoke as well as ,i could1 without any notes1 and found it far easier than ,i had feared4 ,in the evening it was still easier2 and so ,i continued1 week by week1 gaining more confidence1 and have never written a sermon since that day--that is1 to preach it4 ,once ,i was tempted to take a book up into the pulpit1 feeling ,i had nothing to say1 when something said to me1 ,is that the way you depend upon ,god8 ,immediately ,i put the volume on the floor1 and standing on it1 gave out my text1 and preached without hesitation4 ,this going forward in dependence upon ,god has been a deliverance to me from many a difficulty besides this one1 and that through many years4 ,one day ,i went1 in my cassock and cap1 to the shop of a man whom ,i regarded as a dreadful schismatic4 ,he sold the publications of the ,religious ,tract ,society4 ,on entering1 he appeared greatly pleased to see me1 and took unusual interest and pains in selecting tracts1 giving me a double portion for my money4 ,his kindness was very embarrassing2 and when1 on leaving1 he followed me to the door1 and said ,god bless you6 it gave me a great turn4 ,a schismatic blessing a priest6 ,this1 indeed1 was an anomaly4 ,i was ashamed to be seen coming out of the shop1 and the more so1 because ,i had this large ,evangelical parcel in my hand1 ,i felt as though everybody was looking at me4 ,however1 the tracts were very acceptable at home1 and in the parish4 ,i even began to think there was something good in them4 ,so ,i cent for more4 ,three men1 one after another1 told me that they had been converted through reading them4 ,one of these said that the tract ,i had given him ought to be written in letters of gold2 and a few months after this same man died most happily1 rejoicing in the ,lord1 and leaving a bright testimony behind4 ,i mentioned the conversion of these three men to many of my friends1 and asked them for some explanation1 but got none4 ,still1 the thought continually haunted me---,what can this conversion be8 ,i had made it a custom to pray about what ,i had to do1 and anything ,i could not understand2 therefore ,i prayed about this4 ,just then 7,i believe1 in answer to prayer7 a friend offered to lend me ,southey's ,life of ,wesley1 and said1 ,you will find it all about conversion2 and a few days after came a tract1 ,john ,berridge's ,great ,error ,detected4 ,this tract was carefully marked in pencil1 and had several questions written in the margin4 ,i found out that it came from a person to whom ,i had given it1 and who was anxious to know its meaning4 ,i read it with much interest1 for ,i saw that the first portion of the history of ,berridge corresponded with mine2 but as ,i went on reading1 ,i wondered what he could mean by ,justification4 ,what was that wonderful thing which ,god did for him and for the souls of his people8 ,what could he mean by having his eyes opened to see himself a wretched1 lost man8 ,what was seeing the way of salvation8 ,he said that he had preached for six years1 and never brought a single soul to ,christ2 and for two years more in another place1 and had no success2 but now1 when he preached ,christ instead of the ,church1 people came from all parts1 far and near1 to hear the sound of the glorious ,gospel2 and believers were added to the ,church continually4 ,i grappled with this subject2 but ,i could not1 by searching1 find out anything1 for ,i was in the dark1 and knew not as yet that ,i was blind1 and needed the power of the ,holy ,spirit to awaken and bring me to see myself a lost sinner4 ,my soul was now all a stir on this subject2 but1 as far as ,i can remember1 ,i wanted the information-not for myself2 but because ,i thought ,i should then get hold of the secret by which the ,wesleyans and others caught and kept their people1 or rather my people4 ,soon after1 my gardener1 a good ,churchman1 and duly despised by his neighbours for attaching himself to me and my teaching1 fell seriously ill4 ,i sent him at once to the doctor1 who pronounced him to be in a miner's consumption1 and gave no hope of his recovery4 ,no sooner did he realize his position1 and see eternity before him1 than all the ,church teaching ,i had given him failed to console or satisfy1 and his heart sank within him at the near prospect of death4 ,in his distress of mind1 he did not send for me to come and pray with him1 but actually sent for a converted man1 who lived in the next row of cottages4 ,this man1 instead of building him up as ,i had done1 went to work in the opposite direction-to break him down2 that was1 to show my servant that he was a lost sinner1 and needed to come to ,jesus just as he was1 for pardon and salvation4 ,he was brought under deep conviction of sin1 and eventually found peace through the precious blood of ,jesus4 ,immediately it spread all over the parish that the parson's servant was converted4 ,the news soon reached me1 but1 instead of giving joy1 brought the most bitter disappointment and sorrow to my heart4 ,such was the profound ignorance ,i was in6 ,the poor man sent for me several times1 but ,i could not make up my mind to go near him4 ,i felt far too much hurt to think that after all ,i had taught him against schism1 he should fall into so great an error4 ,however1 he sent again and again1 till at last his entreaties prevailed1 and ,i went4 ,instead of lying on his bed1 a dying man1 as ,i expected to find him1 he was walking about the room in a most joyful and ecstatic state4 ,oh1 dear master6 he exclaimed1 ,i am so glad you are come6 ,i am so happy6 ,my soul is saved1 glory be to ,god6 ,come1 ,john1 ,i said1 sit down and be quiet1 and ,i will have a talk with you1 and tell you what ,i think4 ,but ,john knew my thoughts quite well enough1 so he burst out1 ,oh master6 ,i am sure you do not know about this1 or you would have told me4 ,i am quite sure you love me1 and ,i love you--that ,i do6 but1 dear master1 you do not know this--,i am praying for the ,lord to show it to you4 ,i mean to pray till ,i die1 and after that if ,i can1 till you are converted4 ,he looked at me so lovingly1 and seemed so truly happy1 that it was more than ,i could stand4 ,almost involuntarily1 ,i made for the door1 and escaped before he could stop me4 ,i went home greatly disturbed in my mind--altogether disappointed and disgusted with my work among these ,cornish people4 ,it is no use2 they never will be ,churchmen6 ,i was as hopeless and miserable as ,i could be4 ,i felt that my superior teaching and practice had failed1 and that the inferior and1 as ,i believed1 unscriptural dogmas had prevailed4 ,my favourite and most promising ,churchman had fallen1 and was happy in his fall2 more than that1 he was actually praying that ,i might fall too6 ,i felt very jealous for the ,church1 and therefore felt deeply the conversion of my gardener4 ,like the elder brother of the ,prodigal ,son1 ,i was grieved1 and even angry1 because he was restored to favour and joy4 ,the remonstrance of the father prevailed nothing to mollify his feelings2 in like manner1 nothing seemed to give me any rest in this crisis of my parochial work4 ,i thought ,i would give up my parish and church1 and go and work in some more congenial soil2 or else that ,i would preach a set of sermons on the subject of schism1 for perhaps ,i had not sufficiently taught my people the danger of this great sin6 ,every parishioner ,i passed seemed to look at me as if he said1 ,so much for your teaching6 ,you will never convince us6 ,,chapter #g ,conversion1 #ahea4 ,this was a time of great disappointment and discouragement4 ,everything had turned out so different to the expectation ,i had formed and cherished on first coming to this place4 ,i was then full of hope and intended to carry all before me with great success1 and ,i thought ,i did2 but1 alas6 there was a mistake somewhere1 something was wrong4 ,in those days1 when ,i was building my new church1 and talking about the tower and spire we were going to erect1 an elderly ,christian lady who was sitting in her wheel-chair1 calmly listening to our conversation1 said1 ,will you begin to build your spire from the top899 ,it was a strange question1 but she evidently meant something1 and looked for an answer4 ,i gave it1 saying1 ,no1 madam1 not from the top1 but from the foundation4 ,she replied1 ,that is right--that is right1 and went on with her knitting4 99 ,see ,tract1 ,building from the ,top1 by ,rev4 ,w4 ,haslam ,this question was not asked in jest or in ignorance2 it was like a riddle4 ,what did she mean8 ,in a few years this lady passed away1 but her enigmatic words remained4 ,no doubt she thought to herself that ,i was beginning at the wrong end1 while ,i went on talking of the choir1 organ1 happy worship1 and all the things that we were going to attempt in the new church2 that ,i was aiming at sanctification1 without justification2 intending to teach people to be holy before they were saved and pardoned4 ,this is exactly what ,i was doing4 ,i had planted the boards of my tabernacle of worship1 not in silver sockets 7the silver of which had been paid for redemption71 but in the sand of the wilderness4 ,in other words1 ,i was teaching people to worship ,god1 who is a ,spirit1 not for love of ,him who gave ,his ,son to die for them1 but in the fervour and enthusiasm of human nature4 ,my superstructure was built on sand2 and hence the continual disappointment1 and that last discouraging overthrow4 ,no wonder that my life was a failure1 and my labours ineffectual1 inasmuch as my efforts were not put forth in faith4 ,my work was not done as a thank-offering1 but rather as a meritorious effort to obtain favour from ,god4 ,repentance towards ,god1 however earnest and sincere1 without faith towards our ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 is not complete or satisfying4 ,there may be a change of mind and will1 producing a change of actions1 which are done in order to pacify conscience1 and to obtain ,god's favour in return2 but this is not enough4 ,it is like preparing the ,found without sowing seed1 and then being disappointed that there is no harvest4 ,a garden is not complete or successful unless the ,found has been properly prepared1 nor unless flourishing plants are growing in it4 ,repentance with ,faith1 the two together1 constitute the fullness of ,god's religion4 ,we have to believe1 not in the fact that we have given ourselves--we know this in our own consciousness--but in the fact that ,god1 who is more willing to take than we to give1 has accepted us4 ,we rejoice and work1 not as persons who have surrendered ourselves to ,god1 but out of loving gratitude1 as those who have been changed by ,him to this end4 ,i will go on now to tell how ,i was brought at this critical period of my life to real faith towards our ,lord ,jesus ,christ4 ,this was done in a way ,i knew not1 and moreover1 in a way ,i little expected4 ,i had promised a visit to ,mr4 ,aitken1 of ,pendeen1 to advise him about his church1 which was then building2 and now1 in order to divert my thoughts1 ,i made up my mind to go to him at once4 ,soon after my arrival1 as we were seated comfortably by the fire1 he asked me 7as he very commonly did7 how the parish prospered4 ,he said1 ,i often take shame to myself when ,i think of all your work4 ,but1 my brother1 are you satisfied8 ,i said1 ,no1 ,i am not satisfied499 ,why not8 ,because ,i am making a rope of sand1 which looks very well till ,i pull1 and then1 when ,i expect it to hold1 it gives way4 ,what do you mean8 ,why1 ,i replied1 these ,cornish people are ingrained schismatics4 ,i then told him of my gardener's conversion1 and my great disappointment4 ,well1 he said1 if ,i were taken ill1 ,i certainly would not send for you4 ,i am sure you could not do me any good1 for you are not converted yourself4 ,not converted6 ,i exclaimed4 ,how can you tell8 ,he said1 quietly1 ,i am sure of it1 or you would not have come here to complain of your gardener4 ,if you had been converted1 you would have remained at home to rejoice with him4 ,it is very clear you are not converted6 99 ,see ,tract1 ,are ,you ,satisfied8 by ,rev4 ,w4 ,haslam4 ,i was vexed with him for saying that1 and attempted to dispute the point2 but he was calm and confident2 while ,i1 on the other hand1 was uneasy1 and trying to justify myself4 ,in the course of our conversation1 he said1 ,you do not seem to know the difference between the natural conscience and the work of the ,spirit4 ,here he had me1 for ,i only knew of one thing1 and he referred to two4 ,however1 we battled on till nearly two o'clock in the morning1 and then he showed me to my bed-room4 ,pointing to the bed1 he said 7in a voice full of meaning71 ,ah6 a very holy man of ,god died there a short time since4 ,this did not add to my comfort or induce sleep1 for ,i was already much disturbed by the conversation we had had1 and did not enjoy the idea of going to bed and sleeping where one had so lately died--even though he was a holy man4 ,resolving to sit up1 ,i looked round the room1 and seeing some books on the table1 took up one1 which happened to be ,hare's ,mission of the ,comforter4 ,almost the first page ,i glanced at told the difference between the natural conscience and the work of the ,spirit4 ,this ,i read and re-read till ,i understood its meaning4 ,the next morning as soon as breakfast was finished1 ,i resumed the conversation of the previous night with the additional light ,i had gained on the subject4 ,we had not talked long before ,mr4 ,aitken said1 ,ah1 my brother1 you have changed your ground since last night6 ,i at once confessed that ,i had been reading ,hare's book1 which he did not know was in my room1 nor even in the house4 ,he was curious to see it4 ,he then challenged me on another point1 and said1 ,have you peace with ,god8 ,i answered1 without hesitation1 ,yes1---for1 for eight years or more ,i had regarded ,god as my ,friend4 ,mr4 ,a4 went on to ask me1 ,how did you get peace8 ,oh1 ,i said1 ,i have it continually4 ,i get it at the ,daily ,service1 ,i get it through prayer and reading1 and especially at the ,holy ,communion4 ,i have made it a rule to carry my sins there every ,sunday1 and have often come away from that holy sacrament feeling as happy and free as a bird4 ,my friend looked surprised1 but did not dispute this part of my experience4 ,he contented himself by asking me quietly1 ,and how long does your peace last8 ,this question made me think4 ,i said1 ,i suppose1 not a week1 for ,i have to do the same thing every ,sunday4 ,he replied1 ,i thought so4 ,opening the ,bible1 he found the fourth chapter of ,st4 ,john1 and read1 ',whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again4' ,the woman of ,samaria drew water for herself at ,jacob's well1 and quenched her thirst2 but she had to come again and again to the same well4 ,she had no idea of getting water1 except by drawing1 any more than you have of getting peace excepting through the means you use4 ,the ,lord said to her1 ',if thou knewest the gift of ,god1 and who it is that saith to thee1 ,give me to drink2 thou wouldest have asked of ,him1 and ,he would have given thee living water1' which would be 'a well of water springing up into everlasting life' 7,john #d3aj-ad74 ,my friend pointed out the difference between getting water by drawing from a well1 and having a living well within you springing up4 ,i said1 ,i never heard of such a thing4 ,i suppose not1 he answered4 ,have you this living water8 ,i continued4 ,yes1 thank ,god1 ,i have had it for the last thirty years4 ,how did you get it8 ,look here1 he said1 pointing to the tenth verse3 ,you wouldest have asked of ,him1 and ,he would have given thee living water4 ,shall we ask ,him8 ,i said4 ,he answered1 ,with all my heart2 and immediately pushing back his chair1 knelt down at his round table1 and ,i knelt on the opposite side4 ,what he prayed for ,i do not know4 ,i was completely overcome1 and melted to tears4 ,i sat down on the ground1 sobbing1 while he shouted aloud1 praising ,god4 ,as soon as ,i could get up1 ,i made for the door1 and taking my hat1 coat1 and umbrella1 said that ,i was really afraid to stay any longer4 ,with this ,i took my departure1 leaving my carpet-bag behind4 ,it was seven miles to ,penzance1 but in my excitement ,i walked and ran all the way1 and arrived there before the coach1 which was to have called for me1 but brought my carpet-bag instead4 ,in the meantime1 while ,i was waiting for it1 ,i saw a pamphlet1 by ,mr4 ,aitken1 in a shop window1 which ,i bought1 and got into the train to return to ,baldhu4 ,my mind was in such a distracted state1 that ,i sought relief in reading4 ,i had not long been doing so1 when ,i came to a paragraph in italics3 ,then shall ,he say unto them1 ,depart from ,me2 ,i never knew you4 ,the question arrested me1 ,what if ,he says that to you8 ,ah1 that is not likely4 ,but1 what if ,he does8 ,it cannot be4 ,i have given up the world2 ,i love ,god2 ,i visit the sick2 ,i have daily service and weekly communion4 ,but1 what if ,he does8--what if ,he does8 ,i could not bear the thought2 it seemed to overwhelm me4 ,as ,i read the pamphlet1 ,i saw that the words were spoken to persons who were taken by surprise4 ,so should ,i be4 ,they were able to say1 ,we have eaten and drunk in ,thy presence1 and ,thou has taught in our streets3 in ,thy name we have cast out devils1 and done many wonderful works4 ,yet1 with all this1 ,he replied1 ,depart from ,me1 ,i never knew you4 ,i did not see how ,i could escape1 if such men as these were to be rejected4 ,conviction was laying hold upon me1 and the circle was becoming narrower4 ,the thought pressed heavily upon me1 ,what a dreadful thing1 if ,i am wrong6 ,added to this1 ,i trembled to think of those ,i had misled4 ,can it be true8 ,is it so8 ,i remembered some ,i had watched over most zealously1 lest the ,dissenters should come and pray with them4 ,i had sent them out of the world resting upon a false hope1 administering the sacrament to them for want of knowing any other way of bringing them into ,god's favour4 ,i used to grieve over any parishioner who died without the last sacrament1 and often wondered how it would fare with ,dissenters6 ,my mind was in a revolution4 ,i do not remember how ,i got home4 ,i felt as if ,i were out on the dark1 boundless ocean1 without light1 or oar1 or rudder4 ,i endured the greatest agony of mind for the souls ,i had misled1 though ,i had done it ignorantly4 ,they are gone1 and lost forever6 ,i justly deserved to go also4 ,my distress seemed greater than ,i could bear4 ,a tremendous storm of wind1 rain and thunder1 which was raining at the time1 was quite in sympathy with my feelings4 ,i could not rest4 ,looking at the graves of some of my faithful ,churchmen1 ,i wondered1 ,is it really true that they are now cursing me for having misled them8 ,thursday4 ,friday1 and ,saturday passed by1 each day and night more dark and despairing than the preceding one4 ,on the ,sunday1 ,i was so ill that ,i was quite unfit to take the service4 ,mr4 ,aitken had said to me1 ,if ,i were you1 ,i would shut the church1 and say to the congregation1 ',i will not preach again till ,i am converted4 ,pray for me6' ,shall ,i do this8 ,the sun was shining brightly1 and before ,i could make up my mind to put off the service1 the bells struck out a merry peal1 and sent their summons far away over the hills4 ,now the thought came to me that ,i would go to church and read the morning prayers and after that dismiss the people4 ,there was no preparation for the ,holy ,communion that day1 and ,i had deputed the clerk to select the hymns1 for ,i was far too ill to attend to anything myself4 ,the psalms and hymns were especially applicable to my case1 and seemed to help me1 so that ,i thought ,i would go on and read the ante-communion service1 and then dismiss the people4 ,and while ,i was reading the ,gospel1 ,i thought1 well1 ,i will just say a few words in explanation of this1 and then ,i will dismiss them4 ,so ,i went up into the pulpit and gave out my text4 ,i took it from the gospel of the day--,what think ye of ,christ8 7,matt4 #bb3db74 ,as ,i went on to explain the passage1 ,i saw that the ,pharisees and scribes did not know that ,christ was the ,son of ,god1 or that ,he was come to save them4 ,they were looking for a king1 the son of ,david1 to reign over them as they were4 ,something was telling me1 all the time1 ,you are no better than the ,pharisees yourself-you do not believe that ,he is the ,son of ,god1 and that ,he is come to save you1 any more than they did4 ,i do not remember all ,i said1 but ,i felt a wonderful light and joy coming into my soul1 and ,i was beginning to see what the ,pharisees did not4 ,whether it was something in my words1 or my manner1 or my look1 ,i know not2 but all of a sudden a local preacher1 who happened to be in the congregation1 stood up1 and putting up his arms1 shouted out in a ,cornish manner1 ,the parson is converted6 ,the parson is converted6 ,hallelujah6 and in another moment his voice was lost in the shouts and praises of three or four hundred of the congregation4 ,instead of rebuking this extraordinary brawling1 as ,i should have done in a former time1 ,i joined in the outburst of praise2 and to make it more orderly1 ,i gave out the ,doxology--,praise ,god1 from whom all blessings flow--and the people sang it with heart and voice1 over and over again4 ,my ,churchmen were dismayed1 and many of them fled precipitately from the place4 ,still the voice of praise went on1 and was swelled by numbers of passers-by1 who came into the church1 greatly surprised to hear and see what was going on4 ,when this subsided1 ,i found at least twenty people crying for mercy1 whose voices had not been heard in the excitement and noise of thanksgiving4 ,they all professed to find peace and joy in believing4 ,amongst this number there were three from my own house2 and we returned home praising ,god4 ,the news spread in all directions that the parson was converted1 and that by his own sermon1 in his own pulpit to4 ,the church would not hold the crowds who came in the evening4 ,i cannot exactly remember what ,i preached about on that occasion2 but one thing ,i said was1 that if ,i had died last week ,i should have been lost for ever4 ,i felt it was true4 ,so clear and vivid was the conviction through which ,i had passed1 and so distinct was the light into which the ,lord had brought me1 that ,i knew and was sure that ,he had brought me up out of an horrible pit1 out of the miry clay1 and set my feet upon a ,rock1 and put a new song into my mouth 7,ps4 #dj74 ,he had quickened me1 who was before dead in trespasses and sins1 7,eph4 #b3a74 ,i felt sure1 as ,i said1 that if ,i had died last week ,i should have been lost for ever4 ,this was a startling and an alarming word to many of my earnest people1 who said1 ,what then will become of us8 ,i replied1 ,you will be lost for a certainty if you do not give your hearts to ,god4 ,at the end of this great and eventful day of my life--my spiritual birthday1 on which ,i passed from death to life by being born from above--,i could scarcely sleep for joy4 ,i awoke early the next morning1 with the impression on my mind that ,i must get up and go to a village a mile off to tell ,james ,b---- of my conversion4 ,he was a good and holy man1 who had often spoken to me about my soul2 and had been praying for three years or more on my behalf4 ,i had scarcely gone half-way before ,i met him coming towards me3 he seemed as much surprised to see me as ,i was to meet him4 ,he looked at me in a strange way1 and then1 leaning his back against a stone fence1 he said1 ,are you converted8 ,why do you ask me8 ,i replied4 ,i am just on my way to your house1 to tell you the good news--that ,i have found peace4 ,my soul is saved4 ,the dear man said1 ,thank ,god6 and it came from the very depths of his heart4 ,shedding tears of joy1 he went on to say1 ',this night ,i woke up thinking of you2 you were so strongly in my mind1 that ,i got up and began to pray for you2 but ,i could not 'get hold2' ,i wrestled and cried aloud1 but it was all of no avail2 ,i begged the ,lord not to give you up2 but it seemed ,i could not pray4 ,after trying for more than two hours1 it came to my mind that perhaps you were converted4 ,this thought made me so happy1 that ,i began to praise the ,lord2 and then ,i had liberty1 and shouted so loud that it roused up the whole house1 and they came rushing into my room to know what ever was the matter with me4 ',i am praising ,god1' ,i said2 'praising ,god--the parson is converted6--,i feel sure he is4 ,glory be to ,god6 ,glory be to ,god6' ,they said1 ',you must be dreaming2 you had better lie down again1 and be quiet4' ,but it was of no use1 ,i could not sleep2 and so soon as the light began to break1 ,i dressed myself1 and have come out to see whether it is true1 ,yes1 ,i said1 it is true2 the ,lord has saved my soul2 ,i am happy6 ,i thanked him then and there for all the help he had been1 and for the patience he had so long exercised towards me4 ,we spent a happy time together1 thanking and praising ,god1 and then he returned home to tell his friends and neighbours the news4 ,after breakfast a visitor arrived1 who was on an errand of quite another kind4 ,the report had by this time spread far and wide1 that ,i was converted in my own pulpit1 and by means of my own sermon2 also1 that ,i had said1 ,if ,i had died last week1 ,i should have been lost for ever6 ,my friend having heard this1 immediately mounted his horse and rode over to see me about it4 ,he at once put the question1 ,did you say1 last night1 in your pulpit1 that you were saved2 and that if you had died last week you would have been lost for ever8 ,i answered1 ,yes1 indeed1 ,i did2 and ,i meant it4 ,he looked quite bewildered1 and stood for a long time arguing with me2 then taking a chair he sat down1 and began to sympathize and pity me1 saying how grieved he was1 for he could see madness in my eyes4 ,he tried to divert my thoughts1 and begged that ,i would go out for a ride with him4 ,seeing that he made no impression by his various arguments1 and that he could not prevail upon me to recall my words1 he ordered his horse2 but before mounting he said1 ,i cannot agree with you1 and will oppose you as hard as ,i can4 ,very well1 ,i replied2 but let us shake hands over it3 there is no need that we should be angry with one another4 ,then mounting1 he started off1 and had not gone more than a few yards1 when1 suddenly pulling up1 he turned1 and placing his hand on the back of his horse1 called out1 ,haslam1 ,god stop the man who is wrong6 ,i answered1 ,amen1 and off he trotted4 ,on the ,friday following he broke a blood-vessel in his throat or chest1 and has never preached since4 ,his life was in danger for ,several weeks1 though in course of time he recovered1 but ,i have heard that he has never been able to speak above a whisper4 ,god has most undoubtedly stopped him2 while ,he has permitted me to preach for the last nine-and-twenty years1 on the average more than six hundred times a year4 ,from that time ,i began to preach the ,gospel1 and was not ashamed to declare everywhere what the ,lord had done for my soul4 ,thus from personal experience ,i have been enabled to proclaim the ,word1 both as a witness and a minister4 ,i1 who before that time used to be so weak1 that ,i could not preach for more than fifteen or twenty minutes for three consecutive ,sundays without breaking down1 was now able to do so each day1 often more than once1 and three times every ,sunday4 ,,chapter #h ,the ,revival1 #ahea-ed4 ,in the providence of ,god1 my conversion was the beginning of a great revival work in my parish1 which continued without much interruption for nearly three years4 ,at some periods during that time there was a greater power of the divine presence1 and consequently more manifest results1 than at others2 but all along there were conversions of sinners or restoration of backsliders every week--indeed1 almost every day4 ,i was carried along with the torrent of the work1 far over and beyond several barriers of prejudice which had been in my mind4 ,for instance1 ,i made a resolution that if ,i ever had a work of ,god in my parish1 it should be according to rule1 and that the people should not be excited into making a noise1 as if ,god were deaf or afar off2 also1 that ,i would prevent their throwing themselves into extraordinary states of mind and body1 as though it were necessary that they should do so in order to obtain a blessing4 ,i intended to have everything in most beautiful and exemplary order1 and that all should be done as quietly and with as much precision as the working of a machine4 ,no shouting of praises1 no loud praying1 no hearty responding2 and1 above all1 no extravagant crying for mercy1 such as ,i had witnessed in ,mr4 ,aitken's parish4 ,but notwithstanding my prudence and judicious resolutions1 the wind blew as it listed2 we heard the sound thereof1 but could not tell whence it came1 or whither it went 7,john #c3 #h74 ,in spite of all my prejudices1 souls were quickened and born of the ,spirit4 ,i was filled with rejoicing1 and my heart overflowed with joy to see something doing for the ,lord4 ,anything is better than the stillness of death1 however aesthetic and beautiful1 however reverential and devout a mere outward ceremonial may appear4 ,imposing pageants and religious displays may excite enthusiastic religiosity or devotionism2 but they do not1 and never can1 promote spiritual vitality4 ,far from this1 they draw the heart and mind into a channel of human religion1 where it can sometimes over-flow to its own satisfaction2 but they never bring a sinner to see himself lost1 or1 unworthy by nature to be a worshipper1 and consequently1 as such1 utterly unfit to take any part in religious ceremonies4 ,on the ,monday after my conversion we had our first week-day revival service in the church1 which was filled to excess4 ,in the sermon1 ,i told them once more that ,god had brought me up out of an horrible pit1 out of the miry clay1 and set my feet upon the ,rock1 and444 put a new song in my mouth 7,ps4 #dj3b-c74 ,i had not spoken long1 when some one in the congregation gave a shriek1 and then began to cry aloud for mercy4 ,this was quickly followed by cries from another and another1 until preaching was altogether hopeless4 ,we then commenced praying for those who were in distress1 and some experienced men who were present dealt with the anxious4 ,i cannot tell how many people cried for mercy1 or how many found peace that night2 but there was great rejoicing4 ,i1 who was still in my grave-clothes1 though out of the grave1 was sorely offended at people praying and praising ,god so heartily and so loudly in the church4 ,i thought that if this was to become a regular thing1 it would be akin to brawling1 and quite out of order4 ,practising singing and rehearsing anthems in the church1 ,i did not think much about2 but somehow1 for people to cry out in distress of soul1 and to praise ,god out of the abundance of their hearts1 was too much for me4 ,i was sadly perplexed6 ,at the close of the service1 ,i told the people ,i would have a short one again the next evening1 in the church1 and that after that we would go into the schoolroom for the prayer-meeting4 ,thus ended the second day of my spiritual life4 ,on ,tuesday evening we assembled in the church1 and then went to the schoolroom for the after-meeting4 ,there the people had full liberty to sing1 praise1 and shout too1 if they desired1 to their hearts' content1 and truly many availed themselves of the opportunity4 ,in ,cornwall1 at the time ,i speak of 7now twenty-nine years ago71 ,cornish folk did not think much of a meeting unless it was an exciting and noisy one4 ,in this schoolroom1 evening by evening1 the ,lord wrought a great work1 and showed forth ,his power in saving many souls4 ,i have seldom read of any remarkable manifestations in revivals the counterpart of which ,i did not witness in that room2 and ,i saw some things there which ,i have never heard of as taking place anywhere else4 ,i was by this time not afraid of a little1 or even much noise1 so long as the power of the ,lord's presence was evident4 ,the shouts of the people did not hinder me1 of their loud praying1 or their hearty responses4 ,there were some subjects on which it was impossible to venture without eliciting vehement demonstrations4 ,a friend of mine1 who had come from some distance on a visit1 went with me on one occasion to an afternoon ,bible class4 ,i asked him to address the people1 and in a quiet way he proceeded to talk about heaven4 ,as he described the city of gold1 with its pearly gates1 its walls of jasper1 its foundations of sapphire and precious stones1 and to tell them that the city had no need of the sun1 neither of the moon1 to shine in it2 for the glory of ,god did lighten it1 and the ,lamb is the light thereof 7,rev4 #ba3b-c71 ,i began to feel somewhat uneasy1 and feared that he was venturing on tender ground1 when all at once there was heard a shriek of joy1 and in a moment almost the whole class was in an ecstasy of praise4 ,my friend was greatly dismayed1 and also frightened at the noise1 and seizing his hat1 he made hastily for the door4 ,stop6 stop6 ,i said2 you must stand fire better than that4 ,i quietly gave out a hymn1 and asked some of them to help me sing1 and then we knelt down to pray4 ,i prayed in a low voice1 and soon all was still again1 excepting the responsive ,amens1 and the gaspings of those who had been thus excited4 ,it may be asked1 why did ,i permit such things8 ,i lived amongst a people who were accustomed to outward demonstrations2 and by descending to them in their ways ,i was enabled to lead many of them to higher things1 and to teach them to rest not so much on their feelings1 as on the facts and truth revealed in the ,word of ,god4 ,but theorize as we would1 it was just a question1 in many cases1 of no work1 or of decided manifestation4 ,we could not help people being stricken down1 neither could they help it themselves2 often the most unlikely persons were overcome and became excited1 and persons naturally quiet and retiring proved the most noisy and demonstrative4 ,however1 it was our joy to see permanent results afterwards1 which more than reconciled us for any amount of inconvenience we had felt at the time4 ,when the power of ,god is manifestly present1 the persons who hear the noise1 as well as those who make it1 are both under the same influence1 and are in sympathy with one another4 ,an outsider1 who does not understand it1 and is not in sympathy1 might complain1 and be greatly scandalized4 ,for my own part1 ,i was intensely happy in those meetings1 and had become so accustomed to the loud ,amens1 that ,i found it very dull to preach when there was no response4 ,prayer meetings which were carried on in a quiet and formal manner seemed to me cold and heartless4 ,they that go down to the sea in ships1 that do business in great waters2 these see the works of the ,lord1 and ,his wonders in the deep 7,ps4 #ajg3bc1 #bd74 ,some spiritual mariners never venture out of a calm millpond1 and rejoice in very quiet proceedings2 they do not look like rejoicing at all4 ,they resemble the people who are going through a formal duty1 and1 like a painted ship upon a painted ocean1 they are never tossed4 ,most undeniable it is that many trying things happen in the excitement of a storm4 ,i was hardened against criticism1 and only wished that my criticizing friends could show me a more effectual way of working1 and a way in which ,god's glory might be advanced1 without giving offence4 ,the very remembrance of these times warms my heart as ,i write2 and though ,i do not know whether ,i am still young enough to enter into such things in the same way1 yet ,i am sure that the manifest presence of the ,lord1 under any circumstances1 would still stir and rejoice my spirit4 ,my friend ,mr4 ,aitken used to rise above it all most majestically1 and shout as loud as the loudest4 ,it was grand to see his great soul at full liberty rejoicing in the ,lord4 ,he was quite at home in the noisiest and stormiest meetings1 and no doubt he thought me a promising disciple1 and a very happy one1 too4 ,oh1 what tremendous scenes we witnessed whenever ,mr4 ,aitken came to preach at ,baldhu4 ,the church1 which was built to hold six hundred1 used to have as many as fifteen hundred packed into it4 ,not only were the wide passages crowded1 and the chancel filled1 even up to the communion table1 but there were two rows of occupants in every pew4 ,the ,feat man was king over their souls1 for at times he seemed as if he was endued with power whereby he could make them shout for joy1 or howl for misery1 or cry aloud for mercy4 ,he was by far the most effective preacher ,i ever heard1 or ever expect to hear4 ,souls were awakened by scores whenever he preached1 and sometimes the meetings continued far into the night1 and occasionally even to the daylight of the next morning4 ,to the cool1 dispassionate outside observers and the newspaper reporters1 all this vehement stir was very extravagant and incomprehensible1 and no doubt they thought it was done for excitement2 certainly they gave us credit for that1 and a great deal more4 ,they did not esteem us better than themselves and consequently we had the full benefit of their sarcasm and invective4 ,cornish revivals were things by themselves4 ,i have read of such stirring movements occurring occasionally in different places elsewhere1 but in ,cornwall they were frequent4 ,every year1 in one part or another1 a revival would spring up1 during which believers were refreshed and sinners awakened4 ,it is sometimes suggested that there is a great deal of the flesh in these things--more of this than of the ,spirit4 ,i am sure this is a mistake1 for ,i am quite satisfied that neither ,cornish nor any other people could produce revivals without the power of the ,spirit1 for they would never be without them if they could raise them at pleasure4 ,but1 as a fact1 it is well known that revivals begin and continue for a time1 and that they cease as mysteriously as they began4 ,sometimes ,i have known the children of the school commence crying for no ostensible reason2 when a few words about the love of ,god in giving ,his ,son1 or the love of ,christ in laying down ,his life1 would prove enough to kindle a flame1 and they would begin to cry aloud for mercy forthwith4 ,i have seen a whole school of more than a hundred children like this at the same time4 ,an awakening of such a character was generally a token of the beginning of a work of ,god1 which would last in power for four or five weeks1 if not more2 then the quiet1 ordinary work would go on as before4 ,sometimes1 for no accountable reason1 we saw the church thronged with a multitude of people from various parts1 having no connection with one another1 all equally surprised to see each other2 and the regular congregation more surprised still to see the unexpected rush of strangers4 ,after a time or two we began to know the cause1 and understood that the coming together of the people was by the ,spirit of the ,lord1 and so we prepared accordingly1 expecting a revival to follow4 ,on these occasions it was very easy to preach1 or pray1 or sing2 we had only to say1 ,stay here1 or go to the schoolroom2 ,stand and sing2 or1 ,kneel and pray2 and it was done at once3 such was the power of the ,spirit in melting the hears of the people into entire submission for the time4 ,,chapter #i ,the ,visitor1 #ahea4 ,in the midst of these things1 we had a scene quite characteristic of ,cornwall1 which was the funeral of my late gardener and friend1 ,john ,gill4 ,this man's conversion1 it will be remembered1 was the event by which it pleased ,god to bring my religious state to a crisis4 ,after my sudden exit from ,john's cottage1 which ,i have already described1 he continued to pray for me1 as he said he would1 until the following ,sunday1 when he heard of my conversion4 ,then he praised ,god1 and that with amazing power of mind and body for a dying man4 ,day by day1 as his life was prolonged1 he was eager to hear of the progress of the work4 ,at last the day of his departure arrived1 and he was quite content and happy to go4 ,a large concourse of people assembled at the funeral1 dressed in their ,sunday best4 ,they gathered by hundreds in front of ,john's cottage1 several hours before the time fixed for the service4 ,during this interval they sang hymns1 which were given out two lines at a time4 ,then they set out for the church1 singing as they went along4 ,in the ,west it is not the custom to carry the coffin on the shoulders1 but by hand1 which office is performed by friends1 who continually relieve one another1 that all may take part in this last mark of respect to the deceased4 ,at length1 they arrived at the lych gate1 and setting the coffin upon the lych stone 7a heavy slab of granite1 put there for the purpose71 they sang their final hymn4 ,at the conclusion of this1 ,i came out with my clerk to receive the funeral party and to conduct them into the church4 ,after the service ,i was about to give an address1 when ,i was told that there were more people outside than within the church4 ,in order1 therefore1 not to disappoint them1 we came to the grave-side in the churchyard1 and from thence ,i addressed a great concourse of people4 ,i told them of dear ,john's conversion1 and of my disappointment and distress on account of it2 then of my own conversion1 and ,john's unbounded joy2 taking the opportunity to enforce the absolute necessity of this spiritual change1 and the certain damnation of those who die without it4 ,this funeral caused a solemn feeling1 and as the people lingered about1 we re-entered the church1 and further improved the occasion4 ,then we went to the schoolroom for a prayer-meeting1 and many souls were added to the number of the saved4 ,among the strangers present was a gentleman who had come all the way from ,plymouth1 in order to witness for himself the wonderful work1 of which he had read an account in the newspaper4 ,after attending several of our services1 he came up to speak to me1 and said that he had seen an account of the fall of a ,high ,churchman into ,dissent1 which was regarded as a very extraordinary thing1 for at that time some ,dissenters were becoming ,high ,churchmen1 or what used to be called then ,puseyites4 ,having seen me1 and heard for himself of my conversion1 and my adherence to the ,church1 he was satisfied1 and asked me to spare time for a little conversation with him4 ,he came to my house the next morning1 and commenced by asking1 ,do you really think you would have been lost for ever1 if you had died before you were converted8 ,this he said looking me full in the face1 as if to see whether ,i flinched from my position4 ,i answered1 ,most certainly2 without a doubt4 ,remember1 he said1 calmly1 you have been baptized and confirmed2 you are a communicant1 and have been ordained2 do you really think that all this goes for nothing8 ,most assuredly1 all these things are good in their place1 and fully avail for their respective purposes1 but they have nothing whatever to do with a sinner's salvation4 ,do you mean to say1 he continued1 that the ,church is not the very ark of salvation8 ,i used to think so1 ,i replied1 and to say that 'there was no ,church without a ,bishop1 and no salvation out of the ,church2' but now ,i am sure that ,i was mistaken4 ,the outward ,church is a fold for protecting the sheep2 but the ,church is not the ,shepherd who seeks and finds the lost sheep4 ,well1 he said1 but think of all the good men you condemn if you take that position so absolutely4 ,seeing that ,i hesitated1 he went on to say that he knew many very good men1 in and out of the ,church of ,england1 who did not think much of conversion1 or believe in the necessity of it4 ,i am very sorry for them1 ,i replied2 but ,i cannot go back from the position into which1 ,i thank ,god1 ,he has brought me4 ,it is burned into me that1 except a man is converted1 he will and must be lost for ever4 ,come1 come1 my young friend1 he said1 shifting his chair1 and then sitting down to another onslaught1 do you mean to say that a man will go to hell if he is not converted1 as you call it8 ,yes1 ,i do2 and ,i am quite sure that if ,i had died in an unconverted state ,i should have gone there2 and this compels me to believe1 also1 that what the ,scripture says about it is true for every one4 ,but what does the ,scripture say8 he interposed4 ,it says that 'he that believeth not is condemned already1 because he hath not believed' 7,john #c3ah72 and in another place1 'tie that believeth not shall be damned' 7,mark #af3af74 ,as surely as the believer is saved and goes to heaven1 as surely the unbeliever is lost and must ,so to hell4 ,do you mean ,gehenna1 the place of torment8 ,yes1 ,i do4 ,this is very dreadful4 ,more dreadful still4 ,i said1 must be the solemn reality2 and therefore1 instead of shrinking from the thought and putting it off1 ,i rather let it stir and rouse me to warn unbelievers1 so that ,i may1 by any means1 stop them on their dangerous path4 ,i think this is the only true and faithful way of showing kindness2 and that1 on the other hand1 it is the most selfish1 heartless1 and cruel unkindness to let sinners1 whether they are religious1 moral1 reformed1 or otherwise1 to go on in an unconverted state1 and perish4 ,do you believe1 then1 said my visitor1 in the fire of hell8 ,do you think it is a material fire8 ,i do not know2 ,i do not wish to know anything about it4 ,i suppose material fire1 like every other material thing1 is but a shadow of something real4 ,is it not a fire which shall burn the soul--a fire that never will be quenched--where the worm will never die8 ,do you really believe all this8 ,yes1 ,i said1 and ,i have reason to do so4 ,i remembered the anguish of soul ,i passed through when ,i was under conviction1 and the terrible distress ,i felt for others whom ,i had misled4 ,when our blessed ,lord was speaking to the ,jews1 and warning them against their unbelief and its fearful consequences1 ,he did not allow any 'charitable hopes' to hinder ,him from speaking the whole truth4 ,he told them of ,lazarus1 who died1 and went to ,paradise1 or ,abraham's bosom2 and of ,dives1 who died1 and went to ,hell1 the place of torment 7,luke #af74 ,but1 he said1 interrupting me1 that is only a parable1 or figure of speech4 ,figure of speech6 ,i repeated4 ,is it a figure of speech that the rich man fared sumptuously1 that he died1 that he was buried8 ,is not that literal8 ,why1 then1 is it a figure of speech that he lifted up his eyes in torment1 and said1 ',i am tormented in this flame'7,luke #af3bd74 ,my dear friend1 be sure that there is an awful reality in that story--a most solemn reality in the fact of the impassable gulf4 ,if here we do not believe in this gulf1 we shall have to know of it hereafter4 ,i never saw and felt1 ,i continued1 as ,i do now1 that every man is lost1 even while on earth1 until he is saved1 and that if he dies in that unsaved state he will be lost for ever4 ,my unknown visitor remained silent for a little time1 and ,i could see that he was in tears4 ,at last he burst out and said1 ,i am sure you are right4 ,i came to try you upon the three great ,r's--',ruin1' ',redemption1' and ',regeneration1' and to see if you really meant what you preached4 ,now ,i feel more confirmed in the truth and reality of the ,scriptures4 ,i thought ,i had been contending with an unbeliever all along1 but instead of this ,i found that he was a man who scarcely ventured to think out what he believed to its ultimate result--he believed ,god's ,word1 but1 like too many1 alas6 held it loosely4 ,this gentleman had experienced the truth of the three ,r's--that is to say1 he had been awakened to know himself to be lost and ruined by the fall1 redeemed by the blood of ,christ1 and regenerated by the ,holy ,ghost4 ,in other words1 he had been converted1 and he knew it4 ,i found out that at the time of his conversion he was a beneficed clergyman1 and that1 as such1 not being responsible to any rector or vicar1 he began to preach boldly the things he had seen4 ,his changed preaching produced a manifest result1 and the people were awakened1 even startled1 and it would appear he was startled too4 ,instead of thanking ,god and taking courage1 he became alarmed at the disturbance amongst his congregation1 and finding that his preaching made him very unpopular1 he was weak enough to change his tone1 and speak smooth things4 ,thus he made peace with his congregation1 and gained their treacherous good will2 but as a living soul he could not be satisfied with this state of things4 ,he knew that he was not faithful to ,god or to his people2 so being a man of competent means1 he resigned his living1 and retired into private life--beloved and respected1 as they said1 for being a good and peaceable man4 ,at this distance of time ,i continue to thank ,god for his visit to me2 it helped to fix the truth more firmly in my own soul1 and to confirm me in the course in which ,i was working1 and even contending1 in the face of much opposition4 ,i must say that ,i have had no reason to waver in my conviction1 and still feel that ,i would not1 for ten times that man's wealth1 and twenty times the amount of good-will which he enjoyed 7if he did enjoy it71 stand in his place4 ,after long observation1 ,i perceive that it is not the sword of the ,word which offends congregations1 for preachers are commended and promoted for declaring the whole truth1 so long as it is judiciously put1 and with much discretion1 so as not to wound the prejudices of the people4 ,the majority of congregations rather like to see the sword drawn out to its full length and flashed with dexterity1 and they do not always object to being hit with it1 and even hit hard1 so long as it is done with the flat of the sword2 but they very quickly resent a touch with its edge1 and more a thrust with its point4 ,they admire sheet lightning1 which is beautiful1 as it is harmless2 but forked lightning is something to be dreaded and avoided4 ,for instance1 a man may preach most eloquently and acceptably on the three ,r's if he does not apply the subject too pointedly1 by telling the people1 both in the pulpit and out of it1 that they are now ruined and lost2 and that1 having been redeemed1 they are responsible before ,god2 and that1 if they will not be regenerated by the ,spirit1 they will be damned4 ,they do not object to your laying1 ,you hath ,he quickened1 but to turn these same words into a personal question is too often considered impertinent2 though1 indeed1 it is the sincerest kindness and truest ,christian love4 ,this is a faithful saying1 and worthy of all acceptation1 that ,christ ,jesus came into the world to save sinners 7#a ,tim4 #a3ae74 ,he came1 and is spiritually present now1 everywhere1 for this purpose4 ,his real presence with power is particularly promised to the preacher of the ,gospel 7,matt4 #bh3bj74 ,the ,lord ,jesus is ever present to take especial interest in the result of preaching4 ,how disappointing then must it be to ,him1 to find ,his servants so often spending their time and energies upon other objects1 however great or good they may be6 ,when they do preach the ,gospel1 it must grieve ,him to see that their object is too often not the same as ,his2 and when ,he does apply the ,word by the power of the ,spirit1 it must also grieve ,him to see that they are afraid of the result4 ,gospel preaching should not be to entertain people1 nor even to instruct them2 but first to awaken them to see their danger1 and to bring them from death into life1 which is manifestly the ,lord's chief desire4 ,this was the definite object of my work3 ,i preached for and aimed at it2 and nothing short of this could or would satisfy my longings4 ,in the church1 in the school-room1 or in the cottages1 we prayed that the ,holy ,spirit would bring conviction upon sinners1 and then we sought to lead them to conversion with the clear ringing testimony1 ,you must be born again1 or die to all eternity4 ,,chapter #aj ,the ,first ,christmas1 #ahea-eb4 ,the first ,christmas-day1 during the revival1 was a wonderful time4 ,the people had never realized before what this festival was1 beyond regarding it as a season for domestic rejoicing4 ,it surprised many to see that their past ,christmases were a true representation of their past lives that they had cheered and tried to make themselves happy without ,christ1 leaving ,him out of their consideration in ,his own world1 as they had on ,his own birthday4 ,what a ,christless and hopeless life it had been6 ,what a ,christless religion6 ,now we praised the ,lord together for ,his marvellous goodness to us1 and desired that we might henceforth live unto ,him1 singing in heart and life1 ,glory to ,god in the highest1 and on earth peace1 good-will towards men4 ,when ,new ,year's eve arrived we had a midnight gathering1 and dedicated ourselves afresh to ,god's service4 ,it was a blessed season1 and several hundreds were there1 who1 together with myself1 were the fruits of the revival during the previous two months4 ,the new year opened upon us with fresh manifestations of divine power and larger blessings4 ,i endeavoured to show the people that the ,lord was called ,jesus1 not that ,he might save us from hell or death1 but from our sins2 and this while we lived on earth--that our heart and all our members being mortified from all carnal lusts1 we might live to ,his glory2 that ,christ's religion was not intended for a death-bed1 but for a happy and effectual ,christian life---a life showing forth the power of ,his grace4 ,after the ,christmas holidays1 our schoolmaster and his wife returned4 ,they came back full of disdain and prejudice against the work1 and even put themselves out of the way to go from house to house1 in order to set the people against me and my preaching4 ,they said that they could bring a hundred clergymen to prove that ,i was wrong2 but their efforts had just the contrary effect to what they expected4 ,it stirred the people to come more frequently to hear1 and contend more zealously for what they knew to be right4 ,the master was particularly set against excitement and noise4 ,he said1 ,it was so very much more reverent to be still in prayer1 and orderly in praise2 it was not necessary to make such an unseemly uproar6 ,i had1 however1 discovered1 long before this time1 that the people who most objected to noise had nothing yet to make a noise about2 and that when they had1 they generally made as much or more noise than others4 ,if a house is seen to be on fire1 people cannot hello making an outcry2 which they do not1 when they only read about it4 ,witnessing a danger stirs the heart2 and when people's eyes are open to see souls in eternal danger1 they cannot help being stirred up1 and crying out4 ,i am sometimes asked1 ,is there not such a thing as a feeling which is too deep for expression8 ,it may be that at times people are so surprised and astonished at some sudden announcement of good or bad news1 that they are stunned1 and for a time unable to give vent to their joy or grief2 but soon there is a reaction1 and then expression is given4 ,generally speaking1 these so-called deep feelings are only deep in the way of being low down in the vessel--that is to say1 very shallow1 and by no means sufficient to overflow4 ,we read that the whole multitude of the disciples began to rejoice1 and praise ,god with a loud voice1 for all the mighty works that they had seen 7,luke #ai3cg74 ,and we are told1 over and over again1 in the ,psalms1 to praise ,god with a loud voice1 and to shout4 ,when we lift up our voice1 the ,lord can stir our hearts2 and surely the things of the ,lord have more right1 and ought to have more power1 to stir and arouse the soul of man1 than a boat-race1 or a horserace1 or a fictitious scene on the stage4 ,i think people would be all the better for letting out their hearts in praise to ,god4 ,it may lie it is trying and exciting to some1 but perhaps they are the very ones who need such a stimulus1 and this may be the best way of bringing it out4 ,notwithstanding the schoolmaster's opposition1 he still came to church1 and was very attentive to the sermons1 taking copious notes4 ,one ,sunday1 when ,i had been preaching on the text1 ,cut it down2 why cumbereth it the ground8 he was heard to say1 ,thank ,god1 ,i am not cut done yet2 and then he proceeded for the first time to the after-meeting in the school-room4 ,when ,i entered ,i saw him low down on his knees1 and said how happy ,i was to see him there4 ,oh1 he cried1 ,i fear there is no mercy--the sentence is surely gone forth against me1 ',cut him down6 cut him down6' ,and then the poor man howled aloud in his distress4 ,the people prayed for him with shouts of thanksgiving1 while he threw himself about in agony of mind1 and made a great noise1 which only drew still louder acclamations from the people4 ,in the midst of this tremendous din he found peace1 and rejoiced with the others in unmistakable accents1 and as loud as the loudest4 ,evidently he was not ashamed or afraid of excitement and noise now4 ,while he was thus engaged ,i went round to his house to see his wife1 and tell her the news4 ,i found her sitting on the stairs in profound dismay1 as if some dreadful calamity had happened4 ,she was literally dumb with fear and astonishment4 ,when she could speak1 she said1 ,what will happen to him now8 ,will he die8 ,what will become of us8 ,when ,i assured her that her husband was only just beginning to live1 she said1 ,must we be ,dissenters now8 ,oh1 what will become of us8 ,her sister1 who was staying with her1 became very angry at hearing of the master's conversion4 ,finding that ,i could not do much with these two1 ,i left them1 and returned to the schoolroom1 where the people were even more uproarious and happy than before2 several others having also found pardon and peace4 ,the ,sunday after1 the master was seen moving out of church as quickly as he could2 and when he reached the churchyard he was observed to run1 and then leap over a wall1 and next over a hedge into a field4 ,they could not hear him1 but he was shouting all the time as well as running4 ,he afterwards said that the ,prayer-book was full of meaning2 it was like a new book to him2 and that if he had stayed in church1 he should have disturbed the whole congregation4 ,he became a very earnest ,christian1 and took much pains and interest in the religious instruction of the children4 ,there were several revivals in the school while he was there1 and many of the children were converted4 ,it was not long before he was able to rejoice over the conversion of his wife1 and her sister also4 ,i had been anxious about my clerk for some time2 he was a good man in his way1 and most attentive to his work in and out of church2 he was also a regular communicant1 and exemplary in his life2 but with all this1 he was unconverted4 ,i often warned him of his danger2 and one day it came to my mind to tell him of the man who went in to the marriage supper without the wedding garment4 ,i said1 no doubt he thought himself as good as others1 but when the ,king came in to see the guests1 he was speechless2 and because he was so1 and had not on the wedding garment1 the ,king commanded that he should be bound hand and foot1 and put into outer darkness4 ,now1 ,i continued1 the ,king has often come in to see us1 and we have rejoiced before ,him2 but you have never spoken to ,him1 or asked for mercy4 ,it is a very hardening thing to hear so much as you do and remain unsaved2 and a very deadening thing to come to the ,lord's table as you do1 going through the form without any real meaning4 ,you receive the bread and wine in remembrance that ,christ died for you1 and yet you do not believe enough to thank ,him4 ,i was led to say1 ,i must forbid your coming to the ,lord's table till you have given your heart to ,god4 ,you know it is right to do it1 and that you ought to be converted4 ,i will not have you come here again till you are4 ,the man looked at me as if to see whether ,i meant it1 and then appeared so sorrowful that ,i nearly relented4 ,all through the service he was low and dejected1 and went away at the time of the administration of the ordinance1 and sat at the other end of the church4 ,my heart ached for him1 for ,i had never seen him so touched about anything4 ,afterwards1 when he came into the vestry1 ,i could see that he had been crying4 ,ah1 friend1 ,i said1 it is bad to be left out from the ,lord's table here2 what will it be to be left out of heaven8 ,in the evening he was more miserable than ever1 and at the close of the service came into the school-room1 where he broke down1 and asked the people to pray for him1 for he was a hard-hearted1 miserable sinner4 ,pray the ,lord to melt my heart4 ,we did so3 and soon the poor broken-hearted man sobbed and cried aloud for mercy2 and it was not long before1 to our great joy1 he found peace4 ,he afterwards told us that he had been getting hardened by forms ever since he had been clerk1 reading solemn words without any meaning1 which at first he trembled at doing4 ,he was right2 it is good to hear the ,gospel1 good to attend the means of grace1 good to assemble in the company of ,god's people2 but to rest in the habit of doing these good things1 without conversion1 is most dangerous1 and calculated to deaden the heart4 ,he said that he felt it very much when 'master' was converted 7meaning myself71 and was also dreadfully condemned2 for he had believed in the necessity of conversion all his life2 and though he knew that ,i was unconverted1 yet he never told me1 but rather encouraged me to go on as ,i was4 ,he said that he had had many sleepless nights about it2 but now1 thank ,god he added1 it is all right2 my feet are on the ,rock1 my soul is saved4 ,i can praise the ,lord in the congregation4 ,the clerk's conversion did not stop with himself1 for it was a call to some of the ringers2 they were still outside and unsaved1 though they knew1 as well as he did1 that they ought to be otherwise4 ,one of these men began to attend the meetings regularly1 but we could not get him to pray1 or speak a word4 ,i said to him one evening1 ,you will never have a sound from the bell till you move it or its tongue2 in like manner1 you must move your tongue1 for you will have nothing until you speak1 nor get an answer until you pray4 ,still he remained silent1 and shut up to himself2 till one night1 as we were putting out the lights at ten o'clock1 the meeting being over1 ,i said to him as he stood by1 ,james1 ,i wonder when you will ever give your heart to ,god8 ,he looked at me and said1 ,now4 ,that is right1 ,i replied2 thank ,god6 let it be so4 ,i at once stopped the extinguishing of the lights1 and invited him to pray with me1 but he took no heed4 ,it was evident he had deliberately made up his mind what he would do1 for he took off his coat1 undid his neck-tie1 turned back his shirt-sleeves1 and then1 setting a form about nine or ten feet long1 square with the room1 he knelt down and began to say1 ,lord1 have mercy upon me6 ,lord1 have mercy upon me6 ,this he repeated with every returning breath1 faster and louder as he went on1 till at last he worked himself up into a condition of frenzy4 ,he went on without cessation for two hours1 and then stopped in an exhausted state1 gasping for breath4 ,i pointed him to the cross1 and told him of ,god's mercy in giving ,his ,son to die for sinners2 but he was quite absent1 and did not appear to hear me1 or take the least notice4 ,after a little rest1 he commenced again praying as before1 and got into terrible distress4 ,what with his noise1 and the energy he put forth1 it was frightful to see the struggle4 ,he cried1 and beat the form till ,i thought his arms would be black and blue2 then he took up the form and beat the floor with it1 till ,i expected every moment it would come to pieces4 ,the noise he made brought some of the neighbours out of their beds in a fright to see what was the matter4 ,at two o'clock in the morning1 four hours after he began1 he laid himself across the form1 and begged with tears that the ,lord would not cast him off4 ,i told him that the ,lord was actually waiting for him4 ,at last he found peace1 or felt something1 and1 springing up1 he began to shout and praise ,god2 and we all joined with him4 ,when this was done1 he put on his coat and neck-tie1 and saying ,good night1 went home4 ,from this time he became a changed man1 and an earnest and steadfast believer4 ,,chapter #aa ,dreams and ,visions1 #ahea-d4 ,during the revival1 the outpouring of the ,spirit of ,god was very manifest and unmistakable1 and was seen in various ways4 ,it was not1 of course1 by power or might of men1 but by divine influence1 that souls were awakened to see themselves in their true condition4 ,the candle of the ,lord was lighted1 and there was a searching of and for immortal souls1 as typified by our blessed ,lord in the parable of the lost piece of silver4 ,we read that the woman with her lighted candle discovered her treasure2 so the ,divine ,spirit1 by awakening and searching hearts1 found souls1 though they had been buried under sins1 worldliness1 and neglect1 and that for many years4 ,it was astonishing to hear persons who had been dull and silent before1 break out into full and free expression of spiritual truth2 and their liberty and power in prayer were not less remarkable4 ,it was truly an opening of eyes to see1 and ears to hear1 and hearts to understand--a raising of the dead to spiritual life and animation4 ,it was as wonderful as the speaking of tongues on the day of ,pentecost1 with this difference--that those people spoke what they knew1 in tongues they had not known2 and these1 in their own speech1 declared things which they had never seen or known before4 ,we had another distinctive sign of ,pentecost1 which was1 that while believers rejoiced with overflowing joy1 and sinners were pricked to the heart1 and cried out1 ,what must ,i do to be saved8 there were those who mocked1 saying1 ,these men are mad1 or drunk4 ,but1 as ,st4 ,peter testified long ago1 these men1 women1 and children were not drunk1 but under the influence and power of the ,holy ,ghost4 ,we had yet another sign4 ,the prophet ,joel predicted1 ,it shall come to pass that ,i will pour out my ,spirit upon all flesh2 and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy1 your old men shall dream dreams1 your young men shall see visions2 and also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will ,i pour out my ,spirit 7,joel #b3bh1 #bi74 ,and ,i think my narrative would be very incomplete1 and ,i should be holding back the truth1 if ,i did not tell of some of the dreams and visions which continually happened at this time amongst us4 ,every week1 almost every day1 we heard of some remarkable dream or striking vision4 ,such things may be called superstitious by incredulous people1 but ,i merely state what actually took place without attempting to explain or account for it4 ,my own feeling is that ,i would rather be among the superstitious than the incredulous2 for ,i think that the former lose nothing by believing1 and the latter gain nothing by their unbelief4 ,among the people who are alive to spiritual realities these remarkable tokens are not suspected or doubted4 ,to believe nothing but what you can understand or account for1 is to believe nothing at all4 ,cornish people at that time--and they may still be the same--lived in a spiritual atmosphere1 at least in their own county2 so much so1 that ,i have often heard them complain1 when they returned from the shires1 of the dryness and deadness they felt there4 ,i can certainly set my seal to this testimony1 and declare that those of us who had visions in ,cornwall have not had them in the same way out of that district4 ,i will give a few specimens1 but only one of a kind1 for it would fill the volume if ,i told all2 the reader can judge if there was meaning or import in some of them or not4 ,at one time1 when there was a depression or check in the congregation1 and preaching was hard1 praying formal1 and singing flat1 ,i invited the people to join with me in prayer1 that the ,lord would show us what was the hindrance in the way of the work4 ,they prayed with one accord and without consulting one another1 almost in the same words1 whether in the school-room or in the cottages2 the substance of their petition was1 that we might know and put away the obstacle to spiritual blessing1 whatever that obstacle might be4 ,one night ,i dreamt that ,i was in the church1 feeling very desolate and forsaken2 there were very few people there1 but soon my eyes lighted on an ugly-looking stranger1 who tried to evade me4 ,he was a very disagreeable1 sullen-looking man4 ,when ,i spoke to him he gnashed his teeth1 and as ,i approached he drew out a knife and held it out before me4 ,i pursued him notwithstanding1 when he backed towards the door and went out4 ,i followed him through the churchyard till he was outside the lych-gate4 ,as soon as he was gone1 ,i saw a troop of happy people1 all dressed in white1 come in at the same gate1 leaping and running like so many joyful children1 and swinging their arms for gladness3 they went into the church and began to sing4 ,the dream was as vivid to me as a daylight scene4 ,i went out the next evening1 intending to tell it at the school-room meeting2 but before ,i began to do so1 ,i observed that the people sang more freely than usual1 and ,i also noticed that two men who prayed omitted to offer the usual request for hindrances to be removed4 ,when ,i told my dream1 a man arose and said1 ,i know all about that2 there has been one among us whom we thought was a good man1 but instead of this we have discovered that he was most immoral and deceitful1 doing a deal of mischief1 secretly undermining the faith of some1 and misleading others2 he has been detected1 and is gone4 ,sure enough our old happy freedom returned1 and there was liberty in preaching1 praying and singing1 and souls were saved4 ,another time1 when ,i was getting a little impatient with the people1 ,i took a leaf out of my ,scripture-reader's book1 and preached a furious sermon about damnation1 representing ,god as pursuing the sinner to cut him down1 if he did not repent there and then4 ,i thought ,i had done it well1 and went home rather satisfied with myself1 supposing that ,i now knew how to make the congregation feel4 ,the next morning1 a yeoman called to me as ,i was passing her cottage1 and said1 ,master1 what d'yer think8 ,i dreamt last night that the devil was a-preaching in your pulpit1 and that you were delighted at it6 ,a sudden fear fell upon me--so much so1 that ,i returned to the church1 and shutting the door1 begged ,god's forgiveness2 and thanking ,him for this warning1 asked that ,i might remember it1 and never transgress again4 ,as my ,scripture-reader continued to denounce wrath and vengeance1 instead of preaching the ,gospel1 ,i parted with him4 ,next1 let me tell of a vision which refers to others4 ,my sister came to me one morning1 and said1 ,william1 ,i had a vision last night of a young man in a tall hat1 with a green-and-red carpet-bag in his hand4 ,i saw him so plainly1 that ,i should know him again anywhere4 ,he was walking up the road when you met him1 shook hands1 and returned with him to the house4 ,then you and ,f---- brought him in at the glass door4 ,on the hall table there stood a basket containing four beautiful and fragrant fruits4 ,you took up the basket and offered it to the visitor1 who1 putting his hand upon one1 said1 ',oh1 thank you6' ,then touching the three others in order1 said1 ',that is for mother1 and that for sister1 and that for --4' ,i could not hear who4 ,you may smile1 she continued1 but ,i heard that1 and saw it all as plainly as ,i see you now4 ,i was accustomed to hear such things1 and consequently thought no more about it1 but went on to speak of other subjects4 ,in the course of the afternoon1 as ,i was going out1 ,i met a relative coming along the road1 and took him back with me to the house2 there my wife came out to him1 and we led him in through the glass door4 ,when he had sat some time and had had some luncheon1 my wife said1 ,i wonder whether this is the young man we heard about this morning8 4444 ,what young man8 asked our visitor1 hastily2 ,what young man do you mean8 4444 ,i should not wonder if it is1 ,i replied2 ,we will see presently4 ,he seemed very suspicious1 having heard before he came that some mysterious change had taken place in us1 and so looked again and again to see if he could detect anything different4 ,come and see my sister1 ,i said2 to which he assented1 and we went across to her house4 ,as soon as we entered her room1 she said1 ,how do you do8 ,i saw you last night4 ,what do you mean 8 he replied1 withdrawing his hand4 ,why1 ,i was on board the steamer last night4 ,that may be1 she said1 but you are the gentleman ,i saw4 ,have you not a green-and-red carpet-bag8 and did not ,william meet you on the road8 ,poor young man6 he looked dreadfully perplexed4 ,never mind her1 ,i said2 sit down and tell us about your journey4 ,after we had talked of this and other subjects1 we return home4 ,i then told him that we were converted and asked if he had given his heart to ,god4 ,he said he had4 ,not being satisfied1 ,i put the question in another form1 and yet remained unsatisfied with his answer4 ,do you doubt me8 he asked3 ,i will prove it to you4 ,he then went up to his room for a little while1 and returned with a paper in his hand1 in which was a dedication of himself to ,god1 duly signed and sealed4 ,i had never seen an instrument of this kind before1 and asked if he really believed in it8 ,yes1 certainly1 he replied2 and ,i mean it1 too4 ,but1 ,i said1 do you not see that faith does not consist in believing what you write1 but in what ,god has written8 ,the ,word says that ,god is more willing to take than you are to give3 you believe you have given2 but do you believe that ,god has taken8 ,he is far more ready to take your heart than you to give it2 as surely as you have given1 so surely ,he has taken4 ,cannot you see that8 ,he replied1 ,i knew that there was something wrong about this1 but ,i did not know what4 ,thank you6 thank you6 ,then thoughtfully folding up the paper1 he went out of the room4 ,the bell was rung for dinner1 but he did not appear2 and then for tea1 but he declined taking any4 ,after we had gone to church1 he found his way down and followed us there2 and when the service was over he returned again to his room4 ,i was detained at the schoolroom that night1 and until two o'clock in the morning1 praying and talking with anxious souls1 and returned home very tired4 ,going up to bed ,i saw a light shining under my visitor's door1 and hesitating there a few moments1 ,i heard him pleading earnestly for mercy4 ,i had a great mind to knock1 but was afraid of disturbing him2 so ,i prayed for him1 and went to bed4 ,in the morning he came down smiling4 ,thank ,god1 he said1 it is all right now2 ,i am saved4 ,in his hand he held three letters--one to his mother1 one to his sister1 and the other to a cousin1 in which he invited them earnestly to come to ,jesus4 ,within the week all four were in our house1 praising ,god for salvation4 ,as the vision indicated1 we had nothing to do but hold the basket to him4 ,he accepted it1 and the fruit for himself and his relatives4 ,amongst other people and characters ,i met with at this time was a good1 respectable man1 who had a remarkable dream4 ,he came to me one day1 after ,i had been speaking about ,jacob's ladder1 and said that my sermon had reminded him of his dream4 ,i begged him to sit down and tell it to me4 ,he said1 ,i dreamt that ,i and nineteen other young men were living in a beautiful house and place1 where we had everything provided fer us1 and were free to enjoy ourselves as much as we pleased4 ,we all understood that the premises belonged to ,satan and that we were his guests4 ,as such1 we were permitted to take our pleasure upon two conditions--one was1 that we were not to pray2 and the other that we were not to go away4 ,we smiled at this1 and said it was not likely we should do the former1 for we were not the praying kind2 and less likely that we should do the latter1 for why should we be such fools as to forego or give up our enjoyments8 ,i thought to myself1 ,what a wonderful dream that is and how true to reality6 ,what numbers of young men there are1 and young women too1 besides3 many other people1 who hold their worldly happiness on this tenure1 and of course from the same master4 ,well1 to continue the story of the dream1 he said1 ,in the course of time we all became heartily tired of the place and its pleasures1 and longed to get away1 but we could not4 ,one of us made an attempt to do so1 but he was captured and brought back1 and made more of a slave than ever4 ,at last1 ,i and a few others agreed to pray at a stated time in different places1 in the hope that if one was caught1 yet the rest might escape4 ,upon a set day and time we began praying1 each in his appointed place4 ,i had fixed upon a dark corner in a large deserted room1 where we had stowed away bales and bales of goods we did not care to open4 ,climbing over the top of these stores1 ,i landed on the other side1 and went to the spot ,i had chosen4 ,i had not prayed long before ,i heard master coming1 cracking his whip1 and saying1 ',i'll teach you to pray4' ,this made me tremble exceedingly1 and pray all the harder2 but hearing that he was very near and coming after me1 ,i opened my eyes1 and to my surprise there was a beautiful silver ladder before me4 ,as quick as thought1 ,i sprang with hands and feet upon it1 and began to climb for dear life4 ',ha6' said master1 ',i'll teach you to climb4' ,then ,i felt the ladder shaking under me1 and knew that he was coming up4 ,i expected every moment to be seized and dragged back1 so ,i climbed all the faster1 and looked up to see how much farther ,i had to go4 ,oh1 it was such a long way1 and there was only a very small hole to get to at last4 ,my heart began to fail me1 so that ,i almost let go my hold1 till ,i felt the master's sulphurous breath on the back of my neck1 which made me rush forward more vehemently4 ,at last ,i reached the top1 and thrust my arm through the hole1 then my head1 and then my other arm2 thus ,i got through altogether1 leaving my old enemy blaspheming and cursing down below4 ,it was a most beautiful place that ,i was now in1 and angels were flying about1 just as the birds do in this world4 ,i saw the ,lord ,himself1 and fell down before ,him to give ,him thanks4 ,as ,i remained a long time prostrate4 ,he said to me4 ',what is thy petition8' ,i answered1 ',lord1 grant that that hole may be made larger1 for ,i have nineteen friends down there in the power of the cruel master4' ,the ,lord smiled1 and said1 ',that hole is quite large enough4' ,so ,i awoke4 ,where there is a will1 there is always a way of some kind2 and if worldlings are really tired of ,satan's service1 they can easily call upon ,god to deliver them1 and ,he will most surely do so when ,he sees they are in earnest4 ,this dream had the effect of spiritually awakening the man who had it1 and of bringing him to the foot of the cross for mercy and salvation4 ,i noticed that in dreams and visions in ,cornwall the ,lord ,jesus very often appears1 and the devil also2 these are real persons to the ,cornish mind1 and their power is respectively acknowledged4 ,during the summer1 a young gentleman1 whom we invited to our house in the hope of reaching his soul1 came to stay with us2 and this in spite of his avowed prejudice against us and our proceedings4 ,i took this as a token of encouragement1 for ,i was sure that the devil would have hindered his coming1 unless the young man had been constrained by a higher power4 ,he spent his time in riding about or smoking1 and made great fun of our meetings and services1 though ,i observed that he was very attentive to hear the sermon whenever he did come4 ,one week-day evening1 while we were sitting in the drawing room1 and little expecting it1 he burst into tears and cried out1 ,i don't know what to do2 ,i shall be lost for ever6 ,we immediately sprang up to his help1 always delighted at such opportunities of working for the ,lord4 ,we knelt down to pray1 and as we continued to do so1 he fell into great distress1 and even agony of soul2 he literally writhed as if in excessive pain1 too great for utterance1 and looked as if he was fainting with the struggle4 ,we called all the servants into the room to help in prayer1 and while ,i was praying by the side of my young friend1 and pointing him to ,christ1 one of the servants rose up and walked straight across the room1 and1 with a firm hand pushing me aside1 said1 ,the ,lord is here ,himself4 ,i rose instantly and moved out of the way1 while she stood with her hands together1 adoring4 ,she afterwards told us that she saw the ,lord stoop down to the low chair where my young friend was kneeling1 and putting ,his hand on his head1 ,he said something1 and then stood up4 ,immediately upon this she saw the verandah crowded with ugly-looking devils1 all with their eyes fixed on the young man as he knelt4 ,the ,lord then waved ,his hand1 and the ugly company vanished4 ,at that instant the young man lifted up his head1 and turning towards the side on which she had discerned the ,lord as standing1 said1 ,lord1 ,i thank ,thee1 and then fainted away4 ,when the vision was over1 the servant came1 with tears in her eyes1 to ask pardon for so rudely pushing me aside1 but said that while the ,lord was there she could not help herself3 ,oh1 ,he is so beautiful1 so grand6 ,the young man was soon restored to animation1 and began to speak in a voice and tone very different to his former utterance4 ,he was altogether a remarkable instance of a change of heart and life4 ,a careless1 worldly man in my parish dreamt one night that he was in the market hall of a certain town4 ,he was surprised to see1 in a wall1 a doorway1 which he had never noticed before--so much so1 that he went forward to examine it1 and found that it really was a door1 and that it opened to his touch4 ,he went inside1 and there he saw an impressive and strange scene4 ,there were a number of men and women walking about1 who appeared to be very woeful1 end in great agony of pain4 ,they were too distressed to speak1 but he recognized most of them as persons who had been dead some time4 ,they looked mournfully at him1 as if sorry that he had come there1 but did not speak4 ,he was much alarmed1 and made his way back to the door to escape1 but was stopped by a stern1 sullen-looking' porter1 who said1 in a sepulchral voice1 ,you cannot pass4 ,he said1 ,i came in this way1 and ,i want to go out4 ,you cannot1 said the solemn voice4 ,look1 the door opens only one way2 you may come in by it1 but you cannot go out4 ,it was so1 and his heart sank within him as he looked at that mysterious portal4 ,at last the porter relented1 and as a special favour let him go forth for eight days4 ,he was so glad at his release that he awoke4 ,when he told me the dream ,i warned him1 and begged him to give his heart to ,god4 ,you may die1 ,i said1 before the eighth day4 ,he laughed at the idea1 and said he was not going to be frightened by a dream4 ,when ,i am converted1 he continued1 ,i hope ,i shall be able to say that ,i was drawn by love and not driven by fear4 ,but what1 ,i said1 if you have been neglecting and slighting ,god's love for a long time1 and ,he is now moving you with fear to return to ,him8 ,nothing would do2 he turned a deaf ear to every entreaty4 ,when the eighth day arrived1 being market day1 he went to the hall as usual1 and looked at the wall of which he had dreamed with particular interest1 but seeing no door there1 he exclaimed1 ,it's all right2 now ,i will go and have a good dinner over it1 with a bottle of wine6 ,whether he stopped at one bottle or not1 ,i cannot tell2 but late on ,saturday night1 as he was going home1 he was thrown from his horse and killed4 ,that was at the end of the eighth day4 ,whether these dreams and visions were the cause or effect of the people's sensitive state1 ,i do not know2 but certainly they were very impressible1 and even the cold and hardened amongst them were ready to hear about the mysteries of the unseen world4 ,i attributed this to the spiritual atmosphere in which they were then living4 ,,chapter #ab ,billy ,bray1 #aheb4 ,after the events narrated in ,chapter #aj1 and when all the people who dwelt on the hill on which the church was built were converted1 there came upon the scene a very remarkable person1 who had evidently been kept back for a purpose4 ,this was none other than the veritable and well known ,billy ,bray499 ,one morning1 while we were sitting at breakfast1 ,i heard some one walking about in the hall with a heavy step1 saying1 ,praise the ,lord6 ,praise the ,lord6 ,on opening the door1 ,i beheld a happy-looking little man1 in a black ,quaker-cut coat1 which it was very evident had not been made for him1 but for some much larger body4 ,well1 my friend1 ,i said1 who are you8 99 ,see ,the ,king's ,son2 or1 ,life of ,billy ,bray1 by ,f4 ,w4 ,bourne4 ,i am ,billy ,bray1 he replied1 looking steadily at me with his twinkling eyes2 and be you the parson8 ,yes1 ,i am4 ,thank the ,lord6 ,converted1 are ye8 ,yes1 thank ,god4 ,and the missus inside 7pointing to the dining-room71 be she converted8 ,yes1 she is4 ,thank the dear ,lord6 he said1 moving forward4 ,i made way for him1 and he came stepping into the room2 then making a profound bow to the said missus1 he asked1 ,be there any maidens 7servants78 ,yes1 there are three in the kitchen4 ,be they converted too8 ,i was able to answer in the affirmative2 and as ,i pointed towards the kitchen door when ,i mentioned it1 he made off in that direction1 and soon we heard them all shouting and praising ,god together4 ,when we went in1 there was ,billy ,bray1 very joyful1 singing1 ,canaan is a happy place2 ,i am bound for the land of ,canaan4 ,we then returned to the dining-room with our strange guest1 when he suddenly caught me up in his arms and carried me around the room4 ,i was so taken by surprise1 that it was as much as ,i could do to keep myself in an upright position1 till he had accomplished the circuit4 ,then he set me in my chair and rolling on the ground for joy1 said that he was as happy as he could live4 ,when this performance was at an end1 he rose up with a face that denoted the fact1 for it was beaming all over4 ,i invited him to take some breakfast with us1 to which he assented with thanks4 ,he chose bread and milk1 for he said1 ,i am only a child4 ,i asked him to be seated1 and gave him a chair2 but he preferred walking about1 and went on talking all the time4 ,he told us that twenty years ago1 as he was walking over this very hill on which my church and house were built 7it was a barren old place then71 the ,lord said to him1 ,i will give thee all that dwell in this mountain4 ,immediately he fell down on his knees and thanked the ,lord1 and then ran to the nearest cottage4 ,there he talked and prayed with the people1 and was enabled to bring them to ,christ2 then he went to the next cottage1 and got the same blessing2 and then to a third1 where he was equally successful4 ,then he told ,father that there were only three housen in this mountain1 and prayed that more might be built4 ,that prayer remained with him1 and he never ceased to make it for years4 ,the neighbours1 who heard his prayer from time to time1 wondered why he should ask for housen to be built in such an ungain place4 ,at last1 after sixteen years1 he received a letter from his brother ,james1 to say that they were hacking up the croft to plant trees1 and that they were going to build a church on the hill4 ,he was fine and glad1 and praised the ,lord4 ,again he did so1 when his brother wrote to say there was a vicarage to be built on the same hill1 and a schoolroom also4 ,he was almost beside himself with joy and thankfulness for all this4 ,in the year #ahdh1 when the church was completed and opened1 he came on a visit to ,baldhu1 and was greatly surprised to see what a change had taken place4 ,there was a beautiful church1 a parsonage1 with a flourishing garden1 and also a schoolroom1 with a large plantation and fields round them4 ,he was quite 'mazed1 for he never thought that the old hill could be made so grand as that6 ,however1 when he went to the service in the church1 his joy was over2 he came out checkfallen1 and quite disappointed4 ,he told ,father that that was nothing but an old ,pusey ,he had got there1 and that he was no good4 ,while he was praying that afternoon1 ,father gave him to understand that he had no business there yet1 and that he had come too soon1 and without permission4 ,so he went back to his place at once1 near ,bodmin1 and continued to pray for the hill4 ,after three years his brother ,james wrote again2 'and this time it was to tell him that the parson and all his family were converted1 and that there was a great revival at the church4 ,now poor ,billy was most eager to come and see this for himself1 but he obtained no permission1 though he asked and looked for it every day for more than three months4 ,at last1 one wintry and frosty night in ,january1 about half-past eleven o'clock1 just as he was getting into bed1 ,father told him that he might go to ,baldhu4 ,he was so overjoyed1 that he did not wait till the morning1 but immediately put up his clothes again1 hitched in the donkey1 and set out in his slow-going little cart4 ,he came along singing all the way1 nearly thirty miles and arrived early in the morning4 ,having put up his donkey in my stable1 he came into the house1 and presented himself1 as ,i have already stated1 in the hall1 praising ,god4 ,we were a long time over breakfast that morning1 for the happy man went on from one thing to another1 telling of the ,lord1 as he called it1 assuring us again and again that he was fine and glad1 and very happy--indeed1 he looked so4 ,he said there was one thing more he must tell us2 it was this--that he had a preaching-house 7what we should now call a mission-room71 which he had built years ago4 ,he had often prayed there for this old mountain1 and now he should dearly love to see me in the pulpit of that place1 and said that he would let me have it for my work4 ,he went on to say that he had built it by prayer and faith1 as ,father sent him help1 and that he and another man had built it with their own hands4 ,one day he was short of money to buy timber to finish the roof2 his mate said it would take two pounds' worth2 so he asked the ,lord for this sum1 and wondered why the money did not come1 for he felt sure that he was to have it4 ,a farmer happened to look in the next morning1 and ,billy thought he had come with the money1 but he merely asked them what they were doing1 and then took his departure1 without giving them help4 ,all that day they waited in expectation1 and went home in the evening without having done any work4 ,the next morning the same farmer appeared again1 and said1 ,what do you want two pounds for8 ,oh1 said ,billy1 you are come1 are you8 ,we want that money for the roof yonder4 ,the farmer then went on to say1 ,two days ago it came to my mind to give two pounds for the preaching house1 but as ,i was coming down the hill on yesterday morning1 something said to me1 'if you give one pound it will be handsome2 then ,i thought ,i would give only half-a-sovereign2 and then that ,i would give nothing4 ,why should ,i8 ,but the ,lord laid it on my mind last night that ,i must give you two pounds4 ,there it is6 ,thank the ,lord6 said ,billy1 and proceeded immediately to get the required timber4 ,in answer to prayer he also obtained reed for thatching the roof1 and by the same means timber for the forms and seats4 ,it was all done in a humble manner1 so that he did not dream of buying any pulpit2 but one day1 as he was passing along the road1 he saw that they were going to have a sale at the count-house of an old mine4 ,he went in1 and the first thing which met his eye was a strong oak cupboard1 with a cornice around the top4 ,it struck him that it would make a grand pulpit1 if only it was-strong enough3 on examination1 he found it all he could desire in this respect4 ,he thought if he could take off the top and make a plat to stand upon1 it would do first-rate4 ,he told ,father so1 and wondered how he could get it4 ,he asked a stranger who was there1 walking about1 what he thought that old cupboard would go for8 ,oh1 for about five or six shillings1 was the reply4 ,and while ,billy was pondering how to rise six shillings1 the same man came up and said1 ,what do you want that cupboard for1 ,billy8 ,he did not care to tell him1 for he was thinking and praying about it4 ,the man said1 ,there are six shillings for you2 buy it if you will4 ,billy took the money1 thanking the ,lord4 and impatiently waited for the sale4 ,no sooner was the cupboard put up1 than he called out1 ,here1 maister1 here's six shillin's for un1 and he put the money down on the table4 ,six shillings bid1 said the auctioneer--six shillings--thank you2 seven shillings2 any more for that good old cupboard8 ,seven shillings4 ,going--going--gone6 ,and it was knocked down to another man4 ,poor ,billy was much disappointed and perplexed at this1 and could not understand it at all4 ,he looked about for the man who had given him the six shillings1 but in vain--he was not there4 ,the auctioneer told him to take up his money out of the way4 ,he complied1 but did not know what to do with it4 ,he went over a hedge into a field by himself1 and told ,father about it2 but it was all clear--,father was not angry about anything4 ,he remained there an hour1 and then went homewards4 ,as he was going along1 much troubled in his mind as to this experience 7for he still felt so sure he was to have that cupboard for a pulpit71 he came upon a cart standing outside a public-house with the very cupboard upon it1 and some men were measuring it with a foot rule4 ,as he came up1 he heard them say1 ,it is too large to go in at the door1 or the window either4 ,the publican who had bought it said1 ,i wish ,i had not bid for the old thing at all2 it is too good to 'scat' up for firewood4 ,at that instant it came to ,billy's mind to say1 ,here1 ,i'll give you six shillings for un4 ,very well1 said the man1 taking the money2 you can have him4 ,then ,billy began to praise the ,lord1 and went on to say1 ',father' as good as told me that ,i was to have that cupboard1 and ,he knew ,i could not carry him home on my back1 so ,he found a horse and cart for me4 ,bless the ,lord6 ,promising to bring it back very soon1 he led the horse down the hill1 and put the old cupboard into the preaching-house4 ,there it is6 he exclaimed1 and a fine pulpit he does make1 sure enough6 ,now1 said ,billy1 ,i want to see thee in it4 ,when will you come8 ,i could not fix for that day1 or the next1 trot made arrangements to conduct a series of services the next week1 and promised to have them in that place4 ,before he left us1 he made a particular inquiry about the two other houses which had been built1 who lived in them1 and especially if all the dwellers were converted4 ,then he declared his intention to go and see the parties1 and rejoice with them1 and testify how fully the ,lord had accomplished the promise ,he gave him upon that very hill1 twenty years before4 ,according to promise1 ,i went to ,billy ,bray's preaching-house1 or mission-hall4 ,it was the first time that ,i had preached anywhere outside my church and schoolroom since my conversion4 ,there it pleased the ,lord to give me much help1 and a great work followed1 such as ,billy had never seen in that place before4 ,several times we were detained there all night through1 with penitents crying aloud for mercy1 and believers rejoicing4 ,as a rule1 the ,cornish man would remain at a meeting for hours1 and come again the next day1 and the day after1 if needful1 till he felt that he could cry for mercy1 and then he would begin and continue crying until he felt he could believe4 ,at the conclusion of these services we returned to the schoolroom1 where our meetings were continued4 ,our friend ,billy remained with us at ,baldhu1 and was very useful4 ,he spoke in the schoolroom with much acceptance and power in the simplicity of his faith1 and souls were added to the ,lord continually4 ,at this time he was very anxious for a cousin of his1 a man somewhat older than himself1 of the same name4 ,this ,billy was as famous for his drunkenness and dissolute habits1 as the other ,billy was for his faith and joy4 ,the former used to go by the name of the lost soul4 ,the very children in the lanes called after him1 ,ah1 ,billy1 you are a lost soul1 and laughed at him4 ,i was then in the freshness and power of my first love1 and could not help regarding this pitiable object1 and considering his case2 for ,i could not imagine why any man should remain unsaved and without ,christ4 ,accordingly1 one wet morning1 when ,i felt pretty sure that old ,billy would not be out working in the field1 ,i made my way down to his house4 ,as ,i expected1 he was at home in his chimney comer2 so setting down my dripping umbrella1 ,i told him how glad ,i was to find him there1 for ,i wanted to have a talk with him4 ,ah1 it's all very well for you gentlemen1 who have none else to do but to go about and talk2 but we poor men must work4 ,so saying1 he rose up from his settle and went to the door4 ,but1 ,billy1 it is raining quite hard2 you cannot work in rain like that4 ,can't help it2 we must do our work1 and so he slammed the door after him and departed4 ,his wife made all kinds of apologies for him1 because he was a very singular kind of man2 he did not mean bad--he was 'that curious1' that he said and did curious things1 and that ,i must not mind him4 ,i confess ,i was much disappointed at his abrupt departure from the house1 but ,i remained a little longer1 till the worst of the storm was over4 ,after the lapse of nearly a quarter of an hour1 ,billy crept back to the door1 and lifting the latch quietly1 whispered to his wife1 ,is the passon gone8 ,no1 ,billy1 ,i said1 here ,i am4 ,come in out of the wet4 ,i am so glad you have come back4 ,what d'yer want with me8 he inquired4 ,i want to talk to you about your soul4 ,i have been thinking much about you lately1 ,billy4 ,they call you a 'lost soul4' ,what's that to you8 ,ah1 a great deal1 ,i said1 because ,i have a message for lost people4 ,i am not a doctor for the body2 my business is about the soul4 ,i ain't so bad as all that yet1 he replied4 ,but you are bad enough1 ,billy--bad enough4 ,yes1 indeed1 interposed his wife4 ,you hold yer tongue2 you're no better4 ,i beckoned to her to be still1 and went on to say1 ,you are bad enough1 ,billy1 for an old man4 ,how old are you8 ,up seventy years4 ,seventy years6 ,i repeated4 ,well1 now1 that's a great age--that's the age of man4 ,threescore years and ten6 ,it is like giving you notice to give up the keys of the old tabernacle4 ,i wonder why ,god spares your life8 ,i am afraid you have been a cumberer of the ground all this time1 ,billy4 ,do you know why the good ,lord has spared you for so long8 ,i can't tell1 he said1 getting more and more impatient4 ,well1 do you know1 ,i think ,i can tell you4 ,he is such a loving and merciful ,god1 ,he wants to have mercy on you4 ,you could not have greater proof of it1 could you8 ,you set a horribly bad example2 you do nothing but drink1 and smoke1 and swear4 ,you have asked ,god to damn your soul over and over again1 and yet here you are still4 ,why is this8 ,he did not answer1 but seemed interested2 so ,i went on to speak of the forbearance of ,god towards him4 ,i said1 ,billy1 do you know that ,i think the ,lord wants to have mercy on you8 ,he wants to save you6 ,as he listened1 ,i went on to tell him that ,god loved him1 and gave ,his ,son to die for him4 ,then ,i proceeded to speak of the wonderful patience and long-suffering of ,god--a kind of crown upon ,his love2 and what a shame it was to sin against such love as this4 ,poor ,billy looked at me with tears in his eyes1 and said1 ,you are a dear man6 ,dear man6 ,i answered4 ,what1 then1 is ,god1 if ,i am 'dear' only for telling you of ,his love8 ,ah1 ,billy1 take and give your heart to ,god at once4 ,he is waiting for you4 ,it is a shame to refuse such a ,god4 ,i knelt down and began to pray for him4 ,he soon fell on his knees too1 and sobbed aloud2 then he commenced to pray in his own way4 ,he needed much teaching1 so when he rose from his knees ,i said to him1 ,now1 ,billy1 ,i have been to see you2 it is your turn to some and see me next4 ,when will you come8 ,this afternoon1 he said4 ,very good2 come this afternoon4 ,and he did4 ,more than that1 this poor lost soul found peace in my study1 to his great joy2 and he was not ashamed to acknowledge it openly1 nor afraid to praise ,god for ,his great goodness4 ,the same evening he stood up in the schoolroom meeting1 and told the people what the ,lord had done for his soul4 ,there was great excitement that night1 and well there might be1 for every one knew what a daring and wicked man he had been4 ,one man said that if a corpse had come out of the churchyard and spoken1 he could not have been more frightened 7more surprised1 he meant74 ,old ,billy's conversion gave a new and fresh impetus to the work1 and many more souls were added to the ,lord4 ,this dear man lived for three months after this1 verifying the words ,i was led to say to him at the beginning of our intercourse--that the ,lord was keeping him alive in order to have mercy upon him4 ,at the end of this time1 his daughter came to me one morning in great haste1 and said1 ,father is dying1 and does so want to see you4 ,will you come8 ,i went immediately4 ,on reaching his house and entering3 his bedroom1 his wife said1 ,you are too late2 he is dead6 ,softly ,i moved forward to the bed1 and looking on that face once more1 ,i thought that ,i could still see signs of life4 ,pressing his cold hand1 ,i spoke a few words about the loving kindness of the ,lord4 ,he knew me1 and a smile brightened his face at the precious name of ,jesus4 ,while we stood silently round his dying bed1 he said 7evidently in reference to what he had heard71 not dead2 just beginning to live4 ,thus1 with a sweet1 triumphant smile1 he departed4 ,,chapter #ac ,cottage ,meetings1 #aheb4 ,our steps were now directed to another part of the parish1 where we commenced a series of cottage meetings in alternation with services in the church4 ,these meetings were inaugurated in a very remarkable manner1 in the house of a man named ,frank1 who was well known as an exceedingly wicked and careless fellow4 ,his wife was among the fruits of the revival1 and prayed much for him2 but the more she did so1 the worse he became4 ,i used to try and comfort her with the thought that if he did not give himself to ,god to be made better1 it was well that he got worse1 for it was a proof that her prayers were telling2 total indifference would have been a far more discouraging sign4 ,this was poor comfort to her1 however1 for he came home night after night drunk2 or if not so1 swearing about the revival in the church1 and her praying4 ,he often declared that if he ever caught me in his house1 he would give me something for myself4 ,he was at all times a very irascible man1 and being troubled with a wooden leg1 it made him worse4 ,as he was unable to work in the mine1 he was dependent for his support on the parish authorities1 who employed him to break stones on the road4 ,notwithstanding his bad temper and ill-feeling towards me1 ,i always stopped at his heap of stones when passing1 and talked to him either about the weather or some other trivial subject1 being quite satisfied that he knew the plan of salvation1 as ,i had spoken to him about his soul at the time of his wife's conversion4 ,one day1 when coming along1 ,i observed ,frank before me in the road1 busy1 as usual1 breaking stones1 and began to think what ,i would speak to him about1 having no particular news to communicate4 ,while ,i was thus pondering1 ,i came to his place1 when1 to my great astonishment1 he was not there4 ,i looked around on all sides1 and called1 ,frank--,frank6 but in vain--no one answered4 ,there was no hedge or tree within sight for him to hide behind2 where could he be8 ,all at once1 ,i remembered that there was a small gravel-pit about twenty-five or thirty yards from the spot1 but scarcely thought it possible he could be there4 ,i went towards it1 however1 still calling1 ,frank--,frank6 and yet received no answer4 ,on looking in1 sure enough1 there was my man1 lying down in the pit1 close up to the side1 with his face to the ground4 ,i said1 ,frank1 is that you8 ,what are you doing there8 ,are you ill8 ,no1 he replied1 ,i'm not4 ,what d'yer want with me8 ,nothing in particular1 ,i said2 but to tell the truth1 ,i was so surprised at your disappearance1 that ,i could not pass on without looking for you4 ,i was so sure that ,i saw you in the distance1 sitting in your place2 and then1 when ,i came up1 you were not there4 ,i wondered whether ,i had seen your ghost instead of you1 and whether you were dead or what4 ,are you hiding away from me8 ,rising up1 he said1 ,i had a terrible dream last night which frightened me very much4 ,a voice said1 ',go and see ,mr4 ,haslam about your soul4' ,i said1 ',i will1 ,i will1 the first thing in the morning4' ,when the morning came1 ,i thought the evening would do2 and when ,i saw you coming1 it made me tremble so1 that ,i got up and hid myself here4 ,i said1 ,frank1 it is no use for you to fight against ,god1 or to stand out against your wife's prayers4 ,you had far better give in4 ,he then told me that his dream referred to something in his past life1 and sitting down on the bank or side of the gravel pit1 he said1 ',when ,i was ill with my leg 7which was taken off71 the doctor told me what ,i should die4 ,i then cried to the ,lord to have mercy on me1 and said that if ,he would raise me up1 ,i would give my heart to ,him4 ,i began to recover from that day1 and kept on intending and intending to give my heart to ,god2 but ,i never did it4 ,i got quite well in health1 but ever since that time ,i have been getting worse and worse in mind4 ,when my wife was converted1 it seemed as if the devil took possession of me altogether1 and the ,lord warned me again last night4 ,come now1 ,i said1 you had better kneel down here and give up4 ,it was a lonely road on a bare common4 ,kneel down1 ,i repeated1 and let us pray4 ,he did so1 and after prayer he said1 ,by ,god's help4 ,i will give up4 ,no1 ,i replied1 that will not do4 ,say1 ',lord1 take my heart4 ,i do'--not ',i will'--give up4' ,after a short pause1 he solemnly said1 ,i do2 ,lord1 take my heart6 and then began to cry4 ,i gave him the text1 ,god so loved the world1 that ,he gave ,his only-begotten ,son1 that whosoever believeth in ,him should not perish1 but have everlasting life 7,john #c3af74 ,think over that1 ,i said1 and come to the schoolroom to-night4 ,he did so1 and was saved1 to the great joy of his soul4 ,after the meeting was over1 he remained behind a long time1 and gave vent to his feelings with tears1 when he remembered the goodness of ,god to him4 ,this wooden leg of mine1 he said1 is a monument of ,god's mercy6 ,how is that8 ,i inquired4 ,several years ago1 he said1 ,i was playing cards for money in a public-house1 and was cheating in order to win1 when the man ,i was playing with said1 ',you would not have won that money if you had not cheated4' ,i swore at him1 and said1 ',god strike my limbs if ,i did so6' ,i knew ,i had2 and the man would not believe that ,i had not4 ,so we parted4 ,the next morning1 ,i was working in the mine1 close to a very large piece of rock1 which had been loosened with the blasting1 when it slipped from its place1 and carried me along with it into the shaft4 ,as the heavy end was uppermost1 it turned with its own weight1 and fell across the shaft1 pinning me against the side4 ,this rock was not less than two or three tons weight4 ,notwithstanding the fearful shock1 ,i retained my senses2 but one leg was smashed1 and the other severely wounded4 ',god struck my limbs6' ,i cried for help2 and when the men who were attracted by my screams found me1 they saw at once that it was impossible to extricate me without moving the rock4 ,there ,i remained for more than two hours1 till they had put a sling around my body4 ,having done that1 they adjusted a strong chain to the rock and lifted the end4 ,as soon as they succeeded in raising it1 down it went1 carrying plate1 ladders1 and all before it1 to the bottom of the shaft1 which was many fathoms deep1 whilst ,i was left hanging in the sling4 ,they then drew me up1 and took me to the hospital1 where one leg was taken off and the other set2 but ,i was very ill for a long time4 ,oh1 just think1 if that rock had not pinned my legs to the wall of the shaft1 ,i should have been in hell now6 ,the ,lord saved my life then--and has saved my soul now6 ,dear ,frank became a very zealous ,christian1 and for many years preached the ,gospel with much power and acceptance4 ,after his conversion1 he came one morning to beg my pardon for having forbidden me his house1 and to ask if ,i would come and hold a meeting there for his neighbours4 ,i did2 and there was such a crowd inside1 and also outside the house1 and so much blessing1 that ,i was not satisfied with one visit1 but went again and again4 ,the place was most inconveniently full2 they turned out the chairs and tables to make standing-room inside1 and opened the windows and doors for the people to hear outside2 and sometimes1 before the address was over1 men and women cried aloud for mercy4 ,we could not kneel down to pray--praying1 singing1 and hearing was done standing1 and1 that very close together4 ,the house was so uncomfortably thronged1 that a miller in the neighbourhood1 who had a large room in the mill1 begged me to come and preach there instead4 ,i accepted his invitation1 and we went2 but1 alas6 there was no power there2 it was hard to pray or preach2 and the people were not even attentive4 ,thus it was clearly seen that it is not by might or by power of men1 but by the ,spirit of the ,lord2 and that if the ,lord was not present to work1 no work was done4 ,we went back to ,frank's cottage1 and there again the manifest presence of ,god was discernible2 and every time we did so souls were saved4 ,next door to ,frank lived a tall1 gaunt1 gipsy kind of woman1 whom they called the wise woman4 ,she had a marvellous gift of healing1 and other knowledge1 which made people quite afraid of her4 ,this woman took a great interest in me and my work1 and often came to church1 besides attending the meetings at ,frank's house4 ,one day1 during these services1 she paid a visit to the ,parsonage1 and said1 ,my dear1 have you a lemon in the house8 ,i went to inquire and found that we had not4 ,well1 then1 she said1 get one1 and some honey and vinegar1 and mix them all together4 ,you will want it4 ,mind you do1 now1 she said1 drawing herself up to her full height2 mind you do1 you will want it6 ,then she put the bowl of her pipe into the kitchen fire1 and having ignited the tobacco1 went away smoking4 ,the servants were very much frightened by her manner and her warning1 and begged of me to get the lemon1 saying1 ,it was about you1 master2 it was about you that she came4 ,i did not know where to get a lemon within three miles1 but it so happened that a man came to the door with a net full1 for sale1 that same afternoon4 ,we bought two1 just to pacify the servants1 and let them make the mixture1 thinking nothing more about it4 ,in the course of the afternoon a very heavy thunder-storm fell upon us1 deluging the roads and lanes2 and before it ceased ,i had to go to the meeting4 ,i took the precaution to put on thick shoes1 and then set off and walked through the rain4 ,when ,i arrived at the cottage1 ,i thought my feet felt wet2 but they were not cold1 so that ,i soon forgot all about them1 and went on with the meeting1 which lasted till ten o'clock2 then ,i returned home4 ,on taking off my shoes1 ,i was surprised to see how wet and muddy my socks were4 ,i had been standing with wet feet all the evening4 ,to guard against any ill effects1 ,i put my feet in hot water before going to bed4 ,however1 at three o'clock in the morning ,i awoke1 nearly choked with a severe fit of bronchitis2 the thick1 hard phlegm in my throat almost suffocated me2 ,i had to struggle for breath and life4 ,after an hour or more of the most acute suffering1 my dear wife remembered the lemon mixture1 and called the servant to get up and bring it4 ,it was just in time4 ,i was black in the face with suffocation2 but this compound relieved1 and1 in fact1 restored me4 ,i was greatly exhausted with the effort and struggle for life1 and after two hours ,i fell asleep4 ,i was able to rise in the morning and breathe freely1 though my chest was very sore4 ,after breakfast1 the wise woman appeared1 standing outside the window of the drawing-room1 where ,i was lying on the sofa4 ,ah1 my dear1 she said1 you were nearly gone at three o'clock this morning4 ,i had a hard wrestle for you1 sure enough4 ,if you had not had that lemon1 you know1 you would have been a dead man by this time6 ,that mysterious creature1 what with her healing art1 together with the prayer of faith and the marvellous foresight she had1 was quite a terror to the people4 ,one day she came1 and bade me go to a man who was very worldly and careless1 and tell him that he would die before ,sunday4 ,i said1 ,you go1 if you have received the message4 ,she looked sternly at me1 and said1 ,you go6 that's the message--you go6 ,i went4 ,the man laughed at me1 and said1 ,that old hag ought to be hanged4 ,i urged him to give his heart to ,god1 and prayed with him1 but to no effect4 ,he was thrown from his cart1 and killed the following ,saturday1 coming home from market4 ,her sayings and doings would fill a book2 but who would believe the things8 ,she was not always a bird of evil omen1 for sometimes she brought me good news as well as bad4 ,one day she said1 ,there is a clergyman coming to see you1 who used to be a great friend of yours1 but since your conversion he has been afraid of you4 ,he is coming2 you must allow him to preach2 he will be converted before long6 ,sure enough1 my old friend ,w4,b4--1 came as she predicted4 ,he preached1 and in due time was converted1 and his wife also2 but his story shall come in its own place4 ,the work at ,frank's cottage stopped as suddenly as it began4 ,i cannot theorize about the subject2 ,i merely state that so it was4 ,it began1 it continued1 and continued only in that house1 and then it stopped4 ,another remarkable thing may here be observed--that on visiting the cottages within a limited distance round ,frank's house1 people were softened1 and it was easy to persuade them to yield themselves to ,christ4 ,they appeared to be quite ripe and ready4 ,just beyond this limit the people were as hard and careless as ever4 ,it seemed as if the power of ,god overshadowed only a certain spot1 and that all within that were under ,divine influence for the time1 though all were not converted4 ,they acknowledged1 however1 that they felt the ,spirit's power striving with them1 and they knew afterwards that it was withdrawn4 ,the wind bloweth where it listeth4 ,,chapter #ad ,open-,air ,services1 #aheb4 #a4 ,,perranzabuloe ,,as the summer advanced1 it was laid on heart to go and preach in the parish of ,perranzabuloe1 where ,i had ministered in my unconverted days4 ,the vicar1 would not consent to my having the church2 but told me1 in writing1 that he could not prevent my preaching on the common or the beach4 ,i thanked him for his suggestion as to the latter4 ,as soon ,i was able ,i made arrangements1 and giving due notice1 went down to the old familiar place2 but this time on a new errand1 and it was to me a fresh start in my work4 ,i took my gown for this first open-air service2 and on arriving1 found many hundreds of people already assembled at the appointed place1 on ,perran beach4 ,after giving out a hymn1 which was most heartily sung1 ,i prayed1 thanking ,god for the change ,he had wrought in my soul1 and begging ,him to show that ,he had forgiven the past1 by bestowing a manifest blessing upon the present service4 ,all this was loudly responded to1 in ,cornish fashion1 with hearty ,amens and various other ejaculations to which ,i was well accustomed4 ,then ,i read the beginning of the fifth chapter of ,st4 ,luke1 taking for my text the words1 ,launch out into the deep1 and let down your nets for a draught4 ,having reminded the people how hard ,i had worked amongst them for four years without seeing any conversions1 ,i went on to show them1 by way of parallel1 that ,simon ,peter had toiled all night and taken nothing1 but that when he went forth at the ,lord's command1 he enclosed a great multitude of fishes4 ,here1 ,i said1 is encouragement for us to expect a blessing now4 ,why did ,simon ,peter fail at first8 and why did he subsequently succeed8 ,why did he fail8--#a4 ,because he went out in the night4 #b4 ,at his own desire4 #c4 ,in the wisdom of men4 ,why did ,i fail8--#a4 ,because ,i preached and laboured in the night of my unconverted state4 #b4 ,i laboured at the bidding of the ,church4 ,and1 #c4 ,according to the wisdom and tradition of the fathers4 ,why did ,peter succeed8--,because1 #a4 ,he went out in the morning4 #b4 ,at the ,lord's bidding4 #c4 ,with the ,lord's presence4 ,i am come 7,i was thankful to be able to say7 in the bright sunshine of my first love4 ,jesus1 the ,saviour1 is the ',sun of my soul1 my ,saviour dear4' ,the people cheered me so much with their responding1 that ,i felt as happy as they4 ,the opening heaven seemed to shine around us1 indeed1 with beams of sacred bliss4 ,they shouted again and again1 ,glory to ,god6 ,glory to ,god6 ,hallelujah6 4444 ,i am come now1 ,i continued1 to tell you from my own personal experience1 about salvation and the forgiveness of sins4 ,yes1 yes6 ,thank the ,lord6 ,bless ,him6 ,i am come1 dear friends1 at the ,lord's bidding4 ,i feel sure that ,he put it into my heart to do so4 ,oh1 how much ,i longed to do you good when ,i was your minister2 but ,i could not1 for ,i knew nothing about the ,way myself4 ,now1 that ,i do1 ,i am constrained to tell you4 ,the love of ,god within1 and the ,word of ,god without1 compel me4 ,i feel ,i have the ,lord's presence1 for ,he not only promised it where two or three are gathered together in ,his name2 but also to those who preach the ,gospel1 ,he said1 ',lo1 ,i am with you alway6' ,his presence is power4 ,it is ,his word ,i bring you1 not mine2 ,i merely deliver it4 ,he is here4 ,and be sure ,he loves you1 and1 what is more1 takes a deeper interest in this preaching than we can4 ,he died for you1 and shed ,his blood for your forgiveness2 how1 then1 can ,he do otherwise than take an interest in the delivery of ,his message1 and1 more1 in the result which is to follow8 ,when ,simon ,peter let down his net1 he was astonished2 mark1 it was a net he let down into the deep1 something which enclosed the fish1 in order that he might bring them out of their native element1 the water4 ,so ,i preach the ,gospel1 not merely for the sake of preaching1 but to bring you from the power of ,satan1 in which we all are by nature1 to ,god1 that you may receive the forgiveness of your sins4 ,we read that he enclosed a great multitude of fishes2 ,i have faith to believe that the ,lord will bring many to ,himself to-night4 ,with shouting and praise the address was concluded and prayer was offered4 ,at the close1 we found at least fifty people in that great throng on their knees1 crying for mercy4 ,it was a most triumphant and joyful time1 and the people were loth to separate4 ,we slept that night at ,porth1 as that part of the village is called4 ,the next morning two fishermen came to my lodging1 bringing a large basket of fish as a present4 ,their hearts had been cheered the preceding night1 and taking my word in a natural as well as a spiritual sense1 they went out once again and let down their nets4 ,they had gone out many nights before and taken nothing2 but this time their venture was crowned with success1 and they came back rejoicing ill the ,lord1 who had shown them that temporal as well as spiritual blessings come from ,him4 ,the basket of fish they brought me was an acknowledgment of their heartfelt gratitude4 ,after breakfast1 as we were walking on the seashore1 under the majestic cliffs which have stood as a wall against the ,atlantic waves for centuries1 we heard our good-natured ,newfoundland dog barking at something on the rocks2 we looked up1 and behold6 ,there was an exquisitely graceful fawn-coloured kid1 with a scarlet collar and bells1 bounding about playfully on the narrow ledges of the rocks4 ,it seemed to us to be leaping about on the face of the cliff1 for we could not see the little ledges on which it picked its way4 ,it was quite out of the dog's reach1 and appeared to know it1 judging from the coquettish and defiant manner in which it was jumping about1 in high glee at its independence4 ,while we were standing watching the pretty and graceful creature1 a young lady came out from behind other rocks1 and called to her pet1 which arched its little neck and looked at her1 then at the dog1 as if it would say1 ,how can ,i come down8 ,i walked towards her1 and on speaking1 found that she knew me1 and that ,i had seen her when she was a child4 ,after a little talk about the playful kid1 ,i asked her if she had been to the meeting2 she said she had1 and she had not6 ,i waited silently for an explanation4 ,presently1 she said that her mamma had forbidden her to go to such wild meetings1 but that her father had asked her to walk with him under a wall in the garden1 there they could and did hear every word2 and she added1 ,i think papa has found peace--he is so very happy'4 ,and have not you also8 ,i asked4 ,ah1 she replied1 ,i wish ,i could4 ,the more ,i talked with her1 the more convinced ,i felt she was in earnest1 but that something stood in the way4 ,she said she did not know what it was--that she really wished for salvation1 and was willing to give up everything4 ,i said1 ,do you think your mother would let you return with us on a short visit8 ,we are just going back to ,baldhu4 ,she said1 ,mamma is not at home3 she has gone away for three days2 but ,i think papa would let me go4 ,shall ,i ask him8 ,she did2 and soon returned1 saying that she might do so if we could promise to bring her back in two days4 ,this being settled1 she hastened to get her things ready1 and sent her maid to fetch home the pet kid1 which she bade her take great care of during her absence3 then we set off4 ,on arriving at our house she went straight to her bedroom1 and there on her knees implored ,god's mercy1 and remained pleading and praying for five hours1 before she found peace4 ,then she came down among us1 rejoicing in the ,lord4 ,that evening she spent at the meeting1 and the next day in visiting among the cottages4 ,on the third day1 after a happy visit1 we took her home to her father1 rejoicing in the liberty of the children of ,god4 ,her mother returned the day after1 and when she was told of the change in her husband and her daughter ,lucy1 she became exceedingly angry1 and wrote1 not to thank1 but to forbid us the house2 also prohibiting further intercourse4 ,at the same time she declared her intention to get all that nonsense out of her daughter's head as soon as possible4 ,she dragged this poor girl out to parties and amusements of every kind1 against her will1 which had the effect of making her dislike them the more1 and caused her to cleave steadfastly to the ,lord in prayer4 ,six months later1 she was taken ill1 and after a few weeks' suffering she died1 rejoicing that her sins were pardoned1 and that she was going home4 ,it was evident that ,god would not trust that mother with a daughter whose soul she was determined to injure4 ,he took ,his child away to ,himself4 #b4 ,,rose-,,in-,,vale ,the open-air preaching at ,perran led to many similar services there1 and at other places4 ,i will tell of two only1 to prevent sameness1 and for fear of tiring the reader4 ,the former of these1 was at a place called ,rose-in-vale1 in the same parish1 on the lawn of the chief parishioner4 ,he was an uneducated man1 who had risen from the rank of a common miner to that of a mine captain4 ,being very shrewd and clever1 he had succeeded in accumulating a considerable sum of money2 and though he and his wife had a very large house1 they chiefly occupied two of the smallest rooms4 ,them fine things up in the parlours1 he said1 he made no 'count of2 indeed he was anything but comfortable or easy in his state apartments4 ,being the wealthy man of the parish1 he sat on ,sunday in the large square pew2 but beyond giving personal attendance1 and that very regularly1 ,i do not know what other heed he gave1 either to the service or the sermon4 ,during this summer he invited me to give a preaching in his garden4 ,accordingly1 on a fixed day1 ,i went1 and tried to speak1 but found it most difficult to do so4 ,i know not why2 but again and again ,i felt as though ,i had lost the thread of my discourse and was rambling--that ,i was at a loss for words1 and could not hold the attention of the people4 ,perplexed1 and greatly discouraged1 ,i was not sorry when the time came to conclude2 therefore ,i did not invite the people to remain for an after-meeting for prayer4 ,several persons came up and asked me why ,i had dismissed the assembly4 ,ah6 ,i replied1 because there is no power4 ,i could not get on at all6 ,they were surprised1 and said they thought that ,i had been helped more than usual1 and were quite sure that the ,lord was working among the people4 ,however1 the congregation had gone now1 and could not be recalled4 ,this only made me feel more distressed than before4 ,the feeling was very strong with which ,i had been so burdened while speaking2 and1 to add to my perplexity1 ,i observed three coast-guard men1 who had come some five or six miles1 behaving badly1 and laughing all the time 7as ,i thought7 at my discourse1 to the great discomfiture of my preaching4 ,open-air addresses were not common in those days1 and for a man to set up 7as some said7 and pretend to be a second ,whitfield or ,wesley1 was bad enough1 but to fail was most humiliating6 ,three years after this1 ,i was travelling outside a coach1 when a rough sailor-looking man came climbing up to the top1 although he was told that there was no room4 ,never mind1 he said2 ,i will sit on the boxes4 ,i want to talk to this here gentleman4 ,so saying1 he perched himself on the luggage1 and offered to shake hands with me4 ,do you know me8 ,i asked4 ,oh yes1 bless you1 of course ,i do6 ,don't you remember three coast-guard men at ,captain ,o--'s garden8 ,yes1 ,i said1 indeed ,i do1 and am not likely to forget them easily2 they behaved so badly1 and disturbed me so much4 ,well1 he continued1 ,i'm one o' them4 ,i don't know why we laughed and made fun1 for we all on us felt your words deeply1 and went home to pray2 and a few days afterwards we were all three converted--that we were4 ,praise the ,lord6 ,after that1 we volunteered for the navy1 to go to the ,crimea war4 ,i've been in some hot scenes1 sure enough4 ,one day we got a little too near the ,russian battery1 and they peppered us brave--no mistake1 ,i assure you2 they cut our masts and rigging to pieces1 and ploughed up our deck with their shots4 ,men were being killed on every side of me4 ,i thought1 now ,i shall see the ,king in ,his glory4 ,my soul was so happy1 ,i expected every moment to be cut down and sent into ,his presence2 but not a shot touched me6 ,i had not even a scratch2 and here ,i be1 safe and sound1 all through mercy6 ,thus1 these three men1 who made me at the time so unhappy1 and disturbed me to such a degree1 turned out well1 after all4 ,since then1 on several occasions1 ,i have felt as discouraged in preaching as ,i was that day2 and though again and again ,i have said that ,i will not heed it1 ,i have nevertheless found it difficult to be unmoved under this mysterious influence4 ,i write this for the comfort and consolation of others who are afflicted under similar circumstances1 that they may not be cast down by their feelings4 #c4 ,mount ,hawke ,the next occasion was very different1 and quite a contrast in results4 ,i was invited to a neighbouring parish1 which formerly used to be united with ,perran at the time when ,i had sole charge of it4 ,here1 on the appointed ,saturday afternoon1 ,i found not fewer than three thousand people assembled on the common4 ,they had erected a kind of platform1 with a canvas awning1 to shelter me from the wind1 which always blows with more or less violence in ,cornwall1 even when it is not raining4 ,there ,i stood and beheld this concourse of people1 evidently full of large expectation4 ,i gave out the hymn-- ,oh for a thousand tongues1 to sing ,my great ,redeemer's praise6 ,this was heartily sung2 and after prayer for a blessing1 ,i announced my text1 and spoke from the fact1 that ,christ ,jesus came into the world to save sinners4 ,upon enforcing this as worthy of all acceptation1 ,i pressed the thought1 that the ,lord ,jesus came more than eighteen hundred years ago1 and that is present still1 and able to work greater than ,he wrought then2 for indeed ,he only began then to do and to teach what ,he is doing and teaching continuously now4 ,a mighty power of the ,spirit of the ,lord came on the people1 and several hundreds fell upon their knees simultaneously1 and many began to cry aloud for mercy4 ,the strange part was1 that the power of the ,lord appeared to pass diagonally through the crowd1 so that there was a lane of people on their knees six or eight feet deep1 banked up on either side by others standing4 ,it extended from the left-hand corner near me1 to the right-hand corner in the distance4 ,it was quite impossible to go on preaching1 so ,i gave out a hymn1 and then went in among the slain of the ,lord4 ,after about an hour1 some one suggested that we should go to the school-room2 as it was getting dark4 ,the clergyman of the parish was on horseback in the lane close by1 watching proceedings4 ,i asked him if we could have the use of the school-room4 ,oh yes1 he said2 yes1 certainly--certainly--anything4 ,he seemed very frightened4 ,the men and women in distress of soul were led to the room1 crying and praying as they went4 ,when ,i reached the place1 ,i found it impossible to get in1 far it was already full1 besides a throng standing at the door4 ,i was taken to a window at last1 and getting in through that1 ,i stood on the schoolmaster's table1 which was near4 ,against the wall the men had1 in miners' fashion1 set up with clay some candles1 which were beginning to bend over with the heat of the room4 ,the place was densely packed1 and the noise of the people praying for mercy was excessive4 ,i could do no more than speak to those who were near me round the table4 ,as they found peace one by one and were able to praise ,god1 we asked them to go out and let others come4 ,in this way the meeting went on till ten o'clock1 when ,i left2 and it continued to go on all night and all the next day without cessation4 ,it will scarcely be credited1 but that same meeting was prolonged by successive persons without any intermission1 day and night1 till the evening of ,sunday1 the eighth day after it began4 ,this kind of thing was not unusual in ,cornwall1 for we had the same in our school-room at ,baldhu for three days and nights2 but eight days is the longest period of which ,i have any personal knowledge4 ,i went again and again to see how they were going on2 but the people were too absorbed to heed my presence2 and those who were then seeking mercy were strangers to me1 and had not been present at the service on the previous ,saturday4 ,,chapter #ae ,drawing-,room ,meetings1 #aheb-ec4 ,from that time ,i did not confine myself so much to my own church1 but frequently went out to preach in other places1 as opportunities occurred2 and these were1 for the most part1 brought about by remarkable and unsought-for incidents4 ,one ,sunday a lady and gentleman came to my church from one of the neighbouring towns2 they were professors of religion1 and members of some ,dissenting body4 ,my sermon that evening was upon wheat and chaff--the former was to be gathered into the garner1 the latter burned with fire unquenchable4 ,i said that we were all either one or the other--to be gathered or burned4 ,they went away very angry1 and complained one to another of my want of charity2 they also remarked that ,i took good care to let the people know that ,i was not amongst the chaff which was to be burned4 ,the arrows of the ,lord had evidently found them1 and had pierced the joints in their harness4 ,they could not sleep all night for anger and distress4 ,in the morning the gentleman rose early1 and before breakfast had his horse out1 and galloped over eight miles to see me4 ,he came with the intention of finding fault1 but instead of this he burst into tears1 and told me that he was the greatest of sinners4 ,he was in sore distress1 which increased all the more as he gave vent to his feelings4 ,i could not help rejoicing1 and told him that ,god had wounded him1 but that ,he only wounds to heal1 and kills to make alive4 ,ah1 he said1 that is the first thought of comfort ,i have had2 it is like balm to my soul4 ,we knelt down and prayed2 then ,i had the privilege of leading him to ,christ1 and we praised ,god together4 ,i gave him some breakfast1 and after that rode back with him to see his wife1 whom he had left in the morning in great trouble of mind4 ,we found her up1 and rejoicing4 ,it was most touching to witness the mutual surprise and joy of these two loving ones1 when they discovered that they were now united in the ,lord4 ,she told us1 that after her husband's departure she was in such terrible trouble that she got up to pray1 and that while she was on her knees she saw a vision on the bed-cover4 ,before her was printed1 in large visible letters1 ,thy sins be forgiven thee2 she could scarcely believe her eyes1 but with her own finger she traced the letters1 and was sure they were there4 ,taking them as a message from ,christ1 she rose and thanked ,him1 and now felt quite sure she was saved4 ,i could not help telling her not to believe in her eyes or her visions1 but in ,jesus1 and the fact that ,he had died for her4 ,having thanked ,god together1 they next began to think of their servants2 so we sent for them1 and both master and mistress told them what the ,lord had done for their souls2 and while we were praying1 they all three cried aloud for mercy1 and found peace4 ,this was the commencement of a good work in that town by drawing-room meetings1 and many were gathered to the ,lord4 ,amongst the number was the mayor of the town1 who in his turn wished to have a meeting at his house4 ,as soon as ,i was able to fix the day1 he invited his friends1 but on finding that so many more desired to come than he could accommodate1 he announced that the meeting would be held at the ,town ,hall4 ,great interest was excited1 and it was soon evident that even this building would not be large enough1 so it ended in the ,temperance ,hall being selected4 ,the vicar hearing about it1 wrote to protest1 and asked me to call on him before ,i went to the place of meeting4 ,he said it was bad enough for me to come to his parish to private houses1 but to come to a public room1 and that a large one1 was quite out of the question4 ,i endeavoured to show him that the lecture or address ,i had come to give was not an official or ministerial act2 but he would not see that4 ,i also suggested that there was no law against it4 ,he1 begging my pardon1 said ,the ',conventicle ,act' had not been repealed yet1 and that no one could lawfully hold a meeting of more than twenty persons4 ,but surely1 ,i replied1 that is virtually repealed by the ',toleration ,act4' ,a clergyman ought not to be in greater bondage in ,england than a layman1 or more restricted4 ,anybody else can come and preach the ,gospel in your parish1 and you cannot hinder it4 ,do not hinder me4 ,it will do you no harm4 ,he said1 ,i cannot conscientiously allow it4 ,it is against the ,canons4 ,which ,canon is it against8 ,i asked4 ,he took down a book and showed it me1 but casting my eyes on the one before1 and another which followed1 ,i found that we neither of us observed the one or the other4 ,why1 then1 be so zealous about this8 ,besides1 ,i said1 you are not responsible2 you have not asked me1 nor have ,i asked your consent4 ,your conscience need not be troubled about the matter4 ,but1 he said1 impatiently1 ,i am determined that you shall not preach in this parish4 ,i will inform the ,bishop4 ,i replied1 that the ,bishop had not any jurisdiction in this case2 there is no law on the subject4 ,the ,conventicle ,act only refers to worship1 not to service or preaching4 ,he said1 that he could see no difference whatever between worship and service4 ,but1 ,i said1 ,i am sure the ,bishop knows1 and will acknowledge1 the great difference between these two4 ,then1 changing his tone1 he said1 ,now1 come1 there's a good fellow1 don't preach at the ,town ,hall4 ,my dear man1 ,i answered1 ,i am not a 'good fellow' at all ,i cannot give it up4 ,then1 he said1 at least please to defer your address for a week1 till we can get the ,bishop's decision4 ,he asked so kindly and earnestly1 and made such a point of it1 that ,i consented to wait for the ,bishop's answer1 and defer the preaching for a week4 ,he was very pleased1 and said that ,i was indeed a 'good fellow'1 but the praise ,i got from him barely satisfied my conscience1 and ,i was ashamed to meet my friends4 ,i had not gone far before my courage failed2 so1 going back1 ,i said that ,i must withdraw my consent to defer the meeting4 ,i will take the consequences and responsibilities1 and go on4 ,no1 no4 cried the vicar1 ,i will arrange for the ,postponement of your meeting4 ,look here1 ,i have written out a notice for the crier2 he shall go round the town at once1 and tell the people that the meeting is unavoidably deferred for a week4 ,i was very reluctantly persuaded to yield1 and then went to my friend and told him what ,i had done4 ,he was very much vexed with me1 and said1 ,then we must go at once and tell the mayor before he hears the crier4 ,we did so1 and found that this personage was disappointed too1 and advised me to go away out of sight of the people4 ,accordingly1 my friend and ,i went to a house which commanded a good view of the town and principal streets1 from whence we could see the people assembling and dispersing4 ,a large gang of them stood opposite my friend's house1 and asked if ,i would not preach to them in the open air2 and when they ascertained that the vicar had hindered the preaching1 they were much exasperated4 ,in the evening ,i went back to my own parish1 and had the usual service1 which ,i found very refreshing after so much bickering about technicalities4 ,the ,bishop's letter arrived in due time4 ,in it his lordship said1 that he always had entertained a great esteem for me and my obedience to authority1 and highly commended me for postponing or giving up my service at the above town4 ,as he did not say a single word of prohibition1 ,i immediately wrote to the mayor to expect me on the following ,tuesday1 ,for the ,bishop had not forbidden me1 and ,i also wrote to the vicar to the same effect4 ,large bills1 with large letters on them1 announced that the ,rev4 ,william ,haslam will positively preach in the ,temperance ,hall at three o'clock on ,tuesday next4 ,the churchwardens of the parish were requested to attend the meeting1 and protest1 on behalf of the vicar1 and also to present the archdeacon's monition4 ,they stood beside me all the time1 and after the service was concluded they showed me the archidiaconal instrument1 with a great seal appended to it4 ,they said that they dared not stop that preaching1 and so they took their monition back4 ,this gave rise to a long correspondence in the newspapers1 some taking part on my side1 and some against me4 ,thus the question was ventilated1 and finally concluded1 by a letter from some one1 who said1 ,the ,bishop of ,exeter is one of the greatest ecclesiastical lawyers we have1 and if he cannot stop ,mr4 ,haslam1 the question is settled2 for be sure his lordship has all the will to stop this preaching1 and would do so if he had the power4 ,from that time ,i never hesitated to preach the ,gospel in any parish or diocese where ,i was invited4 ,so few of the clergy asked me1 that ,i was obliged to go out in spite of them1 or1 at any rate1 without asking their consent1 and in consequence of this1 ,i am afraid ,i became obnoxious to many of my clerical brethren4 ,since then things are much changed4 ,the ,earl of ,shaftesbury has succeeded in getting an ,act passed through both ,houses of ,parliament1 to settle the question about such services4 ,now any clergyman may preach in ,exeter ,hall1 or any other public non-ecclesiastical building1 without consulting the vicar of the parish4 ,besides this1 a general disposition has arisen amongst the clergy1 from one end of the land to the other1 to have missions1 so that there is no need to work independently of clergymen1 but with them1 and very cheering it is to be thus employed4 ,it was not pleasant to witness the scowl and the frown1 nor to get the cold shoulder4 ,thank ,god1 times are changed now2 but ,i must needs tell of some of the scenes ,i was in1 and the opposition ,i had to encounter1 during the years that are gone by4 ,,chapter #af ,opposition1 #ahec4 ,i have been telling hitherto of blessing and prosperity in the ,lord's work4 ,many more cases might have been mentioned1 and many other things of not less moment and interest2 but enough has been said1 ,i hope1 to show the character of the work1 and give some idea of the amount of blessing which attended it4 ,but it must not be supposed that the offence of the cross had ceased1 or that the enmity of the carnal mind was never stirred2 indeed1 ,i always doubt the reality of a work which moves on without opposition4 ,on the day of ,pentecost1 when the ,holy ,ghost was first given1 while believers were rejoicing1 and sinners were pricked to the heart1 and some mocked1 there arose the opposition of others1 who resisted the influence of the ,spirit2 and being cut to the heart1 they gnashed with their teeth1 and went forward in furious contention against the ,lord's work4 ,so it was with us4 ,the opposition ran very high1 but ,i do not think it was of malice or hatred1 but rather righteous indignation4 ,the instigators of it were serious and earnest persons1 who verily thought they were doing right4 ,they tried first to save me from what they considered was my infatuation2 and failing that1 did all they could to save others from my bad influence4 ,i bear them record1 that they had a zeal for ,god1 but not according to knowledge4 ,it was just such a zeal as ,i had before ,i was converted2 therefore my heart's desire was drawn out towards them1 and ,i made continual efforts to win them4 ,one dear friend of old time said he felt so hurt because ,i was changed1 and often wondered why ,god did not strike me dead for all the harm ,i had done to the ,church4 ,another said that he should not be surprised if the very ground opened and swallowed me up for my fraternizing with schismatics4 ,the sin of ,korah1 ,dathan1 and ,abiram was nothing to mine4 ,at the ,clerical ,meeting1 which ,i attended notwithstanding all this stir against me1 ,i was beset on every side with something more than loving reproaches2 for evidently my old friends were very much grieved1 and could not forgive me for what they considered the betrayal of ,church principles4 ,a special meeting or synod of the clergy was convened by the ,rural ,dean1 to take into consideration among other things1 my defection1 and to decide what public notice should be taken on the subject of this great scandal4 ,i also attended this meeting1 and found my brethren in a very angry and excited state4 ,one after another got up and made grievous charges against me1 about the proceedings in my church and parish4 ,the burden of their distress1 however1 seemed to be noise and excitement4 ,they said that ,there was brawling in my church1 and howling in my schoolroom1 women fainting and men shouting in a most fanatical manner4 ,they had not witnessed these scenes themselves1 but they were credibly informed of them4 ,moreover1 they asserted1 on good authority1 that ,i preached a very different doctrine to that which was authorized by the ,church4 ,i had declared that there was no salvation by the ,church and ,sacraments1 but by simple faith in ,christ2 that any man--it did not matter what his previous life had been--if he only came to my preaching1 and did as ,i told him1 would be saved4 ,these1 and many other such charges1 were made and supported by shouts of ,hear6 hear6 and cries of ,shame6 ,the ,rural ,dean said he was glad ,mr4 ,haslam was present to answer for himself2 he had observed that ,i had sat very quietly to hear others2 and he now hoped that a patient hearing would be given to me4 ,i rose1 and said ,i was very thankful to be there1 and to have this opportunity of testifying before them all that the ,lord had converted my soul6 ,there was a little interruption here1 but after a time ,i was permitted to go on4 ,i said that before ,i was converted1 ,i was even more zealous than any of them against this change1 and greatly prejudiced against it4 ,i actually flogged a big boy in my school for going to a chapel and professing to be converted2 this ,i did before all the children1 and he promised that he would never be converted any more4 ,i could1 therefore1 well understand their present feelings1 and said that ,i was not angry with them1 but rather prayed that they might1 in their turn1 be enabled to see these things as ,i now saw them1 and be saved as ,i was4 ,upon this1 there arose a great disturbance4 ,the ,rural ,dean gave me credit for candour1 and said he thought ,i meant well1 but that ,i implied too much against my brethren2 however1 he had said before1 and would repeat it1 that ,i had listened quietly' to what others had said1 and that now ,i was entitled to a patient hearing a little longer4 ,but this could not be1 for ,i was stopped at every ,fresh statement ,i made1 and had so many questions put to me1 that ,i begged for only one at a time4 ,i was enabled to stand my ground calmly1 and endeavoured to answer the charges in order as they were brought out4 ,to all appearances1 ,i had to stand quite alone in that tumultuous party4 ,we had met at twelve o'clock1 and after four hours were still in the heat of conflict4 ,at last1 to conclude this extraordinary meeting1 one of the ,clergy rose and said that he felt it was his painful yet necessary duty to propose that a vote of censure be passed on ,mr4 ,haslam4 ,it was not seconded1 and so fell to the ground4 ,whereupon1 another rose 'to record a protest against revival meetings1 as contrary to the usage of the ,church4 ,this also failed2 and as no one else had anything to say1 the conclave of divines broke up4 ,what they would have said or done1 if ,i had not attended to be torn to pieces by them1 ,i know not2 all ,i can say is1 that they separated without eating me up4 ,some of them came to me afterwards and seemed pleased that ,i had stood my ground so good-naturedly1 and thought that ,i had had a great badgering4 ,the opposition did not stop there--sermons were preached in several of the neighbouring churches1 and people earnestly warned against attending certain services1 and told not to countenance them by their presence4 ,the newspapers also took up the matter1 and public report was not behind in its usual exaggeration4 ,i give here an extract from a ,letter ,i thought it necessary to write at this time1 on ,,religious ,,excitement3 ,my ,dear ,sir1--,i have been seriously considering1 for some time1 the necessity of making a public statement respecting the work of ,god in this place2 with a view partly of drawing attention to an all-important1 though very neglected subject2 and partly with a view of giving some definite and authoritative form to the various and varied reports which are in circulation4 ,it is vain to pretend to know nothing about them1 and it is equally vain to suppose that reports about our proceedings are likely to lose less by repetition1 than those on other subjects of less moment4 ,i embrace1 therefore1 the opportunity which your ,sermon on ,,religious ,,excitement offers1 to make a statement4 ,i do remonstrate against your publishing to the world a sermon avowedly against 'proceedings connected with a neighbouring church2' and that instead of encouragement1 counsel1 and cooperation in what ,i know is the work of ,god1 ,i receive this public rebuke4 ,i make this remonstrance the more earnestly1 because several of the opinions you have expressed1 are not1 as ,i believe1 consistent with the teaching of our ,church2 and lastly1 ,i venture to be the remonstrant1 because ,i am the person1 and mine the church1 which are the objects of your animadversions4 ,you hold deservedly a high position among us in respect of rank and esteem for your piety and learning2 but at the hazard of incurring the imputation of arrogance1 ,i cannot1 ,i must not1 and ,i will not be unfaithful to the light in which ,i walk1 by the grace of ,god2 and therefore ,i do simply and plainly protest1 in the first place1 against the supposition that ,excitement is a means which ,i am using1 or an end ,i have in view2 secondly1 against the supposition that conversion is a gradual work1 which is to be worked out by ,sacraments and ,means of ,grace2 and thirdly1 against a teaching which supposes and actually declares that a ,person may believe1 may be pardoned1 may be cleansed from sin1 yet not know it4 ,in the sense in which you censure ,religious ,excitement1 namely1 as a means to 'force1 as it were1 the ,spirit of the ,lord1' and 'for the purpose of strongly working on the animal feelings1 etc41' it may be justly censurable4 ,those who make excitement the end and object of their endeavours in a religious movement1 must soon find the emptiness of it2 they throw dust into their own eyes1 and will ever verify your words that 'excitement lifts up for a moment and then lets fall again1' and that 'like dram-drinking1 it leaves those that indulge in it weaker than before4' ,those who really are engaged in the work of ,god1 and especially conversion work1 must meet with 'excitement4' ,it is impossible for a sinner1 under connection of sin1 to remain in a calm imperturbable state3 or when the despairing sinner comes to a knowledge of that ,saviour who made ,atonement for him1 to help being excited with joy4 ,noble or peasant1 gentle or uneducated1 ,i am sure there will be excitement1 and overflowing joy and gladness4 ,a man who never felt himself a lost sinner1 and never knew his need of the ,saviour1 may reason gravely of the impropriety of 'excitement1' and the man who has never experienced the liberty of deliverance from the 'horrible pit1 and the mire and clay1' may seem to be wise on the subject of ,christian joy2 but he knows it not4 ,the outburst of joy in the newly born child of ,god1 is as undiscriminating as the joyous mirth of children4 ,but it becomes more subdued as the child grows on to 'the conquering young man1' and more chastened still when the 'young man' attains to that state which ,st4 ,john terms 'father4' ,this ,i have no doubt is the kind of ,christian joy you expect to see1 and without which you are not satisfied499 ,but1 dear friend1 remember the perfect ,temple was not built in one1 but three days4 99 ,i write unto you1 little children1 because your sins are forgiven you for ,his name's sake4 ,i write unto you1 fathers1 because ye have known ,him that is from the beginning4 ,i write unto you1 young men1 because ye have overcome the ,wicked ,one4--#a ,john #b3ab1 #ac4 ,we are at foundation work2 and you rebuke us for an unfinished temple6 ,your rebuke is not undeserved in one sense3 we ought to have attained to great advancements1 and to have begun long ago2 but ,god has had patience with us4 ,in this beginning' there seems to be confusion to superficial observers1 and there must be 'excitement2' but this1 as ,i said1 is not the end in view1 or the means we use4 ,it is not long since ,i could reason a against 'excitement1' and thought as many do now1 that in connection ,with religion it is irreverent1 and unbecoming4 ,oh1 what a snare is this unfeeling 'propriety6' ,it is really a dislike of being aroused from sleep2 a fearful hugging of oneself into apathetic security1 and lying down in the arms of the ,wicked ,one for a fatal slumber4 ,oh that ,i could 'excite' such persons6 that ,i could arouse them6 that by any means ,i could awaken these souls from the sleep of death6 ,i would glory in the censure and rejoice in the blame4 ,would that ,i could reach your heart and the hearts of many of my other brethren2 that we might unite together and raise a louder call6 ,there should be a more excited blast1 as from a trumpet1 to stir the masses of those who come duly and regularly 'to hear us every ,sunday1' a louder1 stronger1 and more urgent and thrilling cry1 ,repent6 ,repent6 ,we want more fearless plain speaking1 more personal appeal4 ,it is not refined to preach of the grave and death1 judgment and hell1--it is 'ranting3' but nevertheless let us 'rant2' let us be faithful2 let us tell the sinner that he must die2 and that he will die in his sins and perish for ever1 except he repent and be converted that his sins may be blotted out4 ,let us tell him that he 'is condemned already1 because he hath not believed in the ,name of the only-begotten ,son of ,god' 7,john #c3ah73 that 'the wrath of ,god abideth on him' 7verse #ce74 ,instead of arguments against 'excitement1' let us have a united cry against sin and frivolity wherever it is4 ,there is excitement against 'excitement' now2 let there be excitement1 if you will1 against indifference1 and neglect of religion4 ,many of the proceedings in our parish were1 ,i confess1 more tumultuous than ,i could justify1 more noisy and exciting than ,i thought needful2 but ,i could not control the people4 ,if they had been educated to ideas of propriety and self-control1 the impulse of ,divine power1 which really then filled them1 might have found expression in a more quiet and orderly manner4 ,to hinder their rejoicings therefore1 though they were considered so obnoxious1 would have been to withstand the ,spirit of ,god4 ,as the people had not been taught better1 ,i could not interfere with them2 ,i would rather bear the obloquy of men4 ,for instance1 one day1 by way of change1 ,i had a meeting for the ,bible ,society1 and invited some of the clergy who sympathized with its object4 ,they attended1 and others came out of curiosity to see these revival people4 ,we had a large gathering1 and everything began smoothly4 ',my ,scripture-reader1 who was naturally a most excitable and noisy man1 tried to do his best before the clergy2 he spoke of the sweet words which they had heard from the reverend speakers2 it was charming1 he said1 to hear of a good cause supported in such mellifluous accents1 and so forth4 ,he got a little wild towards the end1 but on the whole he was to be praised for his kind efforts to give a quiet tone to the meeting'4 ,by this time1 our friend ,billy ,bray had appeared on the scene1 and gave us chapter and verse from one end of the ,bible to the other1 on the subject of dancing for joy4 ,he propounded his theory1 that if a man did not praise ,god1 he would not rise in the resurrection2 if he only praised ,god with his mouth1 he would rise like those things carved on the tombstones1 with swelling cheeks and wings2 if he clapped his hands 7suiting his actions to the words7 he would have a pair of hands as well at the resurrection2 and if he danced with his feet1 he would rise complete4 ,he hoped to rise like that1 to sing1 to clap his hands1 dance1 and jump too4 ,the worst of jumping in this world1 he said1 was that he had to come down again1 but even in heaven he supposed the higher he danced and jumped1 the higher he would be2 walking in heaven1 to his mind1 was praising ,god1 one foot said ,glory1 and the other ,hallelujah4 ,under ,billy's original theories the people were warming up1 and becoming a little responsive1 and ,billy himself was getting excited4 ,in reference to some remarks which had been made by a previous speaker about ,samson1 he said that he felt as happy and strong as ,samson2 then suddenly he put his arms round me1 as ,i was standing gesticulating and making signs to the people to be still1 and taking me up as he had done once before1 he carried me down the schoolroom1 crying out1 ,here go the postes6 ,glory6 hallelujah6 ,it was useless to resist1 for he held me with an iron grasp2 so ,i remained still1 hoping at every step that he would put me down4 ,i suppose he imagined himself to be ,samson carrying off the gates of ,gaza4 ',the people got what they called happy1 and shouted and praised ,god most vociferously4 ,i gave out a hymn1 but the joy of the ,cornish people could not be restrained within the bounds of a tune1 or form of words4 ,some of them became very excited and unmanageable2 only those who have witnessed such scenes can understand what ,i mean4 ,the power of ,god was great1 though the demonstrations were very human4 ,my visitors trembled with fear1 and made their escape as precipitately as they possibly could4 ,to those who are not in the power of the ,spirit such rejoicings are unintelligible2 lookers-on are stumbled or offended because they only see and feel the human manifestation1 and not the ,divine power2 they are like people who get all the smoke1 and none of the warmth of the fire4 ,i made up my mind for the worst1 for we had a reporter there1 and some others who were only too ready to make the most of such a scene4 ,nevertheless ,i would rather have the same thing over and over again1 than have the most stately and orderly ceremonials conjoined with spiritual death4 ,these things1 with all their proprieties1 are very chilling to living souls1 and all the more hurtful because dead souls are satisfied by them instead of being disturbed4 ,dear ,mr4 ,aitken was very angry with us1 when he heard the things which were reported2 and1 like a good spiritual father1 he came over to teach us better4 ,he preached one of his own strong sermons1 on the difference between emotion and principle1 and after beating us down very hard1 his dear heart relented1 and he tried to cheer and lift us up4 ,this last is always an easy thing to do in ,cornwall4 ,the people soon responded to his efforts1 and began to praise ,god2 and then he took fire1 and praised too4 ,mutually exciting and being excited1 his powerful voice could be heard above the din of hundreds of shouting voices4 ,the dear man was happy in his soul1 and so was ,i1 and we did not care a halfpenny for the outside world1 newspapers1 or anything else4 ,we had obloquy with opposition2 and even to my personal friends ,i could not give satisfactory explanations of these things4 ,one suggested that ,i should read a paper at the next ,clerical ,meeting1 and give a statement in exposition of my views and practices4 ,this ,i consented to do1 and ,mr4 ,aitken kindly helped me to write it4 ,on the appointed day ,i undertook to read it1 on condition that no one interrupted me till ,i had finished4 ,it was a hard task for them to sit still1 but they managed to do so2 and at the end1 burst out upon me in a volley of censure and disapprobation4 ,i was obliged to tell them that they were not converted1 and therefore could not understand these things4 ,i wrote a pamphlet to show that the ,church of ,england's teaching was based on conversion1 and not on baptism2 and that the ,reformation was to the ,church of ,england what ,conversion was to the individual reformers4 ,taking my own change as an illustration1 ,i said1 that ,i used to rest on ,baptism and the ,church1 and that now ,i was standing on the ,rock1 ,christ ,jesus4 ,once ,i worked for life1 and now ,i worked from life2 that is1 because ,i possessed it4 ,i declared that this was the characteristic difference between the ,church of ,england as it is1 and as it was when connected with the ,church of ,rome4 ,this pamphlet would not satisfy them4 ,i then wrote and published a letter to the ,archdeacon1 in which1 in my young zeal1 ,i charged the clergy with being unconverted1 and doing the devil's work of hindering the salvation of souls1 and that they seemed to stand on their parish boundaries and say1 ,this is my parish1 and you shall not come here to disturb the sleep of death which now reigns4 ,this poured no oil upon the waters4 ,i then wrote another pamphlet upon which ,i spent much time1 thought1 and prayer4 ,i took the manuscript and read it to ,mr4 ,aitken4 ,he walked up and down in his large room1 while ,i was reading1 and ejaculated1 as only he could1 ,bless ,god6 ,glory be to ,god6 ,when ,i finished1 ,i said1 ,shall ,i print it8 ,he said1 ,it is worth printing1 but it will do no good4 ,it is like a little doggie barking at a dead elephant4 ,we shall never convert the4 ,church as a body3 we must try and get at individuals4 ,i am quite convinced we shall not succeed unless we work in this1 way4 ,,chapter #ag ,individual ,cases1 #ahec4 ,an ,archbishop of ,canterbury1 in old times1 contrasted public preaching with personal dealing in this way3 ,when we preach1 it is like dashing water from a bucket upon so many vessels which are arranged before us-some drops fall into one1 and some into another1 while others remain empty2 but when we speak to individuals1 it is like pouring water into the neck of a vessel4 ,i gave up writing and printing pamphlets1 and went on as quietly as ,i could with my own work1 looking out for individual cases as they presented themselves in the providence of ,god4 ,in this way1 without fermenting controversy or keeping up public excitement1 ,i was able more effectually to impart my meaning1 than by printed statements1 which ,i found were misunderstood or distorted2 and what is more1 ,i was able to apply the truth with an individual ,have you8 ,it would take more space than ,i can afford to tell of the souls which were gained in this way4 ,i will give here only a few instances1 which are interesting1 and which will sustain the thread of my narrative4 ,the first was in the case of one who began an argument on ,baptismal ,grace4 ,i asked him what it was4 ,i know what converting or saving' grace is2 but what is this8 ,he did not say more1 than that in ,baptism he was made a member of ,christ1 a child of ,god1 and an inheritor of the kingdom of heaven4 ,but1 ,i asked1 suppose you have not repented and believed1 what then8 ,receiving no answer1 ,i continued1 ,then1 nothing2 but the responsibility and the name4 ,a few days afterwards he came to me1 saying that ,i had made him quite miserable1 and asked me whether ,i meant to deny the necessity of baptism4 ,i said1 ,certainly not1 but the condition of faith and repentance must be fulfilled4 ,whatever ,baptismal ,regeneration may be1 ,spiritual ,regeneration is the work of the ,spirit in those who believe in ,christ ,jesus4 ,after a long talk and prayer1 he appeared to understand that a conscious change should be wrought in him1 and a spiritual faculty imparted1 by which he could see the kingdom of ,god4 ,he remained for the evening service and meeting in the schoolroom and was much impressed with what he witnessed4 ,instead of going away1 he stayed with me till after midnight1 when he found peace with ,god 7as he said7 in the church where we had been praying4 ,then he ordered his horse and rode home2 but before he set out1 he exacted a promise from me that ,i would not mention his conversion to any one4 ,i consented to this1 on the condition that he announce the change which had been wrought in him1 from his pulpit on the following ,sunday4 ,a few days afterwards my friend came to me in a great rage1 and charged me with announcing his conversion all over the town4 ,i told him that ,i was not sure enough of it myself to say anything about it1 and that ,i had not spoken to a single person on the subject4 ,still he seemed to doubt me1 for he said his brother had been with him1 and had told him that it was known all over the town that he had been to ,baldhu1 and that he was converted4 ,upon inquiry1 ,i found out that my servant1 who sat up till after mid-night to get his horse1 had overheard our conversation1 and was the offending party4 ,i am always afraid of persons who are ashamed to acknowledge their conversion4 ,my friend1 ,i am sorry to say1 made no announcement1 but went on preaching as if he had always been the same1 and consequently never came out to be of any use or help in the work4 ,his testimony was indistinct also1 and without any power4 ,he became a very popular preacher afterwards1 which was his great ambition1 for he cared more for a large congregation than for ,wining ,souls4 ,soon after this1 ,i fell across another of my old friends in the street4 ,he tried to avoid me1 but ,i went up and shook hands with him4 ,at first he would not look at me1 and said he was afraid of me because ,i had changed my views4 ,i assured him that ,i had not changed anything1 but that ,i had myself been changed4 ,as he was listening1 ,i went on to tell him that ,i had long tried to make myself good enough for ,god's acceptance1 but finding that ,christ would not receive reformed characters1 ,i came to ,him as a poor lost sinner1 and ,he saved me4 ,seeing that he continued attentive1 ,i was proceeding to make my meaning plainer1 when he turned round1 and looking sternly at me1 said1 ,if ,i understand you1 ,i am to cry for mercy as 'a common sinner4' ,yes1 ,i replied1 being very pleased to find that he had understood me so well4 ,then4 he said1 ,i will do no such thing4 ,with this1 he turned away and departed4 ,when he saw that ,i was following him1 he said1 ,i desire you will not speak to me any more4 ,i do not agree with you4 ,one morning1 a short time after1 ,i was praying and meditating in the church1 when it came to my mind forcibly that ,i must go to this man's parish4 ,i rose from my knees forthwith1 saying to myself that ,i would go2 but immediately the thought came to me1 ,this suggestion is not from ,god1 for ,he must know that my horse has lost two shoes1 and could not go all that distance4 ,however1 ,i returned home1 and went to the stable to inquire1 when1 to my surprise1 ,i found that my man had taken the horse out very early in the morning1 and had got him properly shod4 ,he is all right for a long journey1 master1 he said1 if you want to go4 ,well1 ,i said1 put on the saddle1 and be ready in half-an-hour4 ,i went in to prepare1 and started in due time4 ,on the way ,i was thinking what ,i would say1 and how ,i would begin the conversation1 for as yet ,i did not know the particular message ,i was to take4 ,when ,i arrived at my friend's gate1 ,i saw the marks of his horse's feet1 as if he had just gone out4 ,however1 ,i rode up to the front door1 and rang the bell4 ,his wife appeared1 and said that her husband had gone out1 and would not be back before six o'clock2 she added1 ,you look disappointed2 and so ,i was1 for ,i thought the ,lord had sent me with some message to him4 ,the lady kindly asked me to put up my horse1 saying1 ,perhaps he may return sooner2 you had better rest a little4 ,i thanked her1 and doing so1 went in4 ,as soon as we were seated1 the lady said1 ,i have been wishing to see you for a long time2 we have started more than once to visit you1 when my husband's courage has failed him1 and we have returned4 ,he says that he loves you still2 but1 somehow1 he is very much afraid of you4 ,then she went on to tell me that when they were removing from their late parish to where they now were1 having sent all their furniture on1 they were driving in their own carriage2 and that coming along ever a bleak and desolate moor1 the horse took fright at something1 they knew not what1 and ran away4 ,because it could not get along fast enough from its imaginary object of fear1 it began to kick1 and breaking the carriage in pieces1 made its escape1 leaving her and her husband on the ground4 ,he was not much hurt1 and soon rose1 and came to help her4 ,she was severely bruised1 and her leg was broken besides4 ,he managed to drag her gently to the side of the road1 where there was a little bank1 and1 colleting some of the broken pieces of the carriage1 he placed them round her for protection1 and hurried off in order to get assistance4 ,he had to go two miles and was absent nearly three hours4 ,during that time she suffered great pain1 but it came to her mind all at once that her sins were pardoned2 she was exceedingly happy1 and could not help thanking and praising ,god4 ,in this state her husband found her when he returned1 and on hearing her talk1 became very unhappy1 because he thought that besides her leg1 her head was broken too2 and that she was going out of her mind4 ,she assured him over and over again that she was wonderfully well1 and really happy2 but he could not bear to hear her talk like that1 and said that he should go mad also1 if she did not stop4 ,during the six weeks she was laid up1 he continually brought doctors and clergymen to talk her out of her delusion as he thought it1 but without avail4 ,her happiness continued for several months1 and then gradually died away4 ,she asked me1 ,can you tell me the meaning of this8 ,i was deeply interested with her experience1 and told her that ,i had read of a similar one only a few days before4 ,my heart now began to cheer up1 for ,i saw why ,i had been sent to this place4 ,i at once pointed her to passages of ,scripture1 where we are told that we have forgiveness of sins through the blood of ,jesus1 and ,i put ,christ crucified before her as the object of faith4 ,i told her1 that as certainly as the blood ,jesus had been shed1 there was mercy and forgiveness for her4 ,i said1 ,i believe it1 and have forgiveness3 and you may have it too2 not because you feel happy1 but because ,jesus died4 ,she did believe1 and we rejoiced together4 ,she exclaimed1 ,oh that the ,lord would change my husband's heart1 and bring you here for a revival6 ,very well1 ,i said1 let us ask ,him1 and we did so4 ,i then rode home raising ,god4 ,before leaving1 ,i promised to come again on the following ,wednesday4 ,i kept my word1 and had an interview with her husband2 but it was not encouraging4 ,he said he could not agree to ask for mercy as a sinner1 because he had been baptized4 ,some months afterwards his manservant came to me on horseback at three o'clock in the morning1 to say that his master was very bad1 and would ,i come as soon as possible and see him4 ,i asked1 ,what is the matter8 ,oh1 bless the ,lord1 said the man1 it'll all about his soul6 4444,that is right ,i replied1 thanking ,god2 ,i will go with you at once1 and immediately ,i saddled my horse1 and rode back with him4 ,i found my friend was under deep conviction1 and in the greatest misery2 he now thought that he was a most uncommon sinner1 and that there was no mercy for him1 there could not be any6 ,after a time he acknowledged the power of ,god to forgive sin1 and declared that he believed in ,christ1 and ,i was led to say he that believeth hath everlasting life4 ,upon this text he found peace1 and we all praised ,god together4 ,the ,sunday following1 he asked the congregation to thank ,god with him for having saved his soul2 and in his sermon told them something of his experience4 ,subsequently his church became the centre of a work of ,god1 as ,mr4 ,aitken's church and mine were in our respective neighbourhoods4 ,the power of the ,lord overshadowed the place1 and there was as usual a simultaneous melting of hearts all over the parish1 and a running together of the people to hear the ,word1 and what is better to obey it4 ,then followed a true ,cornish revival with full manifestations1 and ,mr4 ,aitken came to preach4 ,the fire was burning and shining before2 but when this mighty man stirred it1 it rose to a tremendous height4 ,the excitement of the parson and people was intense1 and hundreds of souls were added to the ,church1 who had been brought from the death of sin into the life of righteousness which all the previous preaching on ,baptism and the ,lord's ,supper had failed to produce4 ,,chapter #ah ,a ,visit to ,veryan1 #ahec4 ,next1 ,i will tell of a clergyman who was altogether different to the others ,i have mentioned4 ,he was one to whom ,i was much attached1 although we were diametrically opposed to one another1 especially in my ,puseyite days4 ,he was ,evangelical2 ,i was ,high ,church2 consequently1 we fell out more or less1 at every meeting1 though we never really quarrelled4 ,after my conversion ,i made sure this friend would sympathize with me2 but ,i found to my disappointment he was in reality more opposed now than before1 because ,i had become1 as he called it1 a dissenter4 ,he would scarcely speak to me1 and said1 he was not so sure of my conversion as ,i was1 that he would give me seven years to prove it1 and then pronounce4 ,i said1 ,you are an old bachelor1 and know nothing about the treatment of babies2 we do not put our babies out on the lawn for seven days before we decide whether they are born or not6 ,he could not resist joining in the laugh against his inexperience in this respect1 although he was not over-pleased4 ,with all his head-knowledge of ,gospel truth1 he had not seen anything of the work of the ,spirit1 and moreover1 like too many others1 could not distinguish between death and grave-clothes4 ,because ,i announced some sacramental views after my conversion1 he fancied that ,i must be dead still2 whereas these were only the grave-clothes in which ,i used to be wrapped4 ,we shall speak more of this hereafter4 ,one day1 he came to me and said1 ,i have been thinking for some time that ,i should like to come to your church one ,sunday1 and see your work4 ,i agreed to this with thanks1 as the first sign of sympathy ,i had found in him1 and said1 ,shall ,i go and take your services in exchange8 ,oh no1 certainly not2 ,i wish you to be present in your own church4 ,i will preach in the morning2 and in the evening ,i will be there to see and hear you4 ,we soon fixed upon the day4 ,he came to dinner with us the previous ,saturday1 but before he would sit down he must needs go into the ,church1 and adjust the height of the pulpit1 and see that all other things were to his taste4 ,he asked me if ,i would remove the candlesticks from the communion table1 and let him preach in a black gown4 ,these were all matters of indifference to me now1 so ,i readily acceded to his wishes4 ,having completed his arrangements1 we spent a very pleasant evening together1 talking over the work in the place1 and then went to the weekly prayer-meeting2 but he took no part4 ,on ,sunday morning the service was conducted at his request1 in the usual manner1 excepting that he stood away in the eastern corner of the north side of the table1 scrootching away like a ,papist1 as the people described it4 ,they had been accustomed to see me stand at the western or outside corner of the north side4 ,he was much amused at this criticism4 ,then he went into the vestry1 having asked for an interlude on the organ before the last verse of the ,psalms 7for we sang the metrical version in those days71 and while this was being played he came sailing out again1 and swept up the steps into the pulpit4 ,he gave us an excellent sermon--preached1 as the ,cornish people say1 to a form1 that is with a manuscript before him2 though he did not look at it much4 ,he showed it to me afterwards2 it certainly was a curious thing1 done in cyphers and hieroglyphics of his own2 again and again there appeared a figure with two horns and a tail2 this1 he told me1 stood for ,satan2 there were also many other striking signs4 ,he preached with far more animation than was his wont1 and towards the end of his sermon seemed to forget his manuscript altogether1 and leaned over the front of the pulpit1 gesticulating with his hands1 and looking at the people4 ,they got very excited1 and followed every sentence with some response1 till he became excited also4 ,when he came down from the pulpit1 he said that he had never preached with such help before2 he had quite enjoyed his own sermon1 and that now he thought he understood the secret of what ,i called being converted4 ,he came in the afternoon to the catechising of the children1 and expressed himself very pleased with their behaviour1 and readiness in answering questions4 ,in the evening1 he sat in a part of the church where he could see the congregation1 and the preacher1 and so make his desired observations4 ,the service was1 perhaps1 a little more animated than usual1 and the sermon may have been the same4 ,after this was over1 he went with me into the school-room1 where he heard the people pray1 and also thank ,god for the morning sermon4 ,several souls were brought in that evening4 ,about ten o'clock at night we returned home1 when my friend declared he had never known a day like this in all his ministry1 and never heard of such things as he had seen4 ,your congregation1 he said1 is like the waves of the sea1 and mine like a glassy mill-pond4 ,now ,i must have you come and preach in my church4 ,i wonder what the effect will be4 ,i agreed1 and we fixed upon the second ,sunday1 as he wanted a week to announce my coming4 ,i was quite eager for the time1 and when ,saturday arrived1 ,i set off1 intending to stay for several days4 ,on ,sunday morning the church was filled from end to end1 the people being on the tip-toe of expectation4 ,many anxious ones remained after the sermon to be spoken with1 about their souls4 ,the church was scarcely cleared1 before the men came to ring the bells for the afternoon service4 ,this time1 the passages1 chancel1 pulpit-stairs1 and every available corner were crowded1 and the congregation certainly did not look like a mill-pond1 but more like the waves of the sea4 ,at the close of this service1 the people begged for another in the evening4 ,the vicar said1 ,oh1 that is impossible1 for ,i dine at six o'clock4 ,but1 ,i involuntarily added1 do not mind the dinner2 ,i can come1 if you like4 ,he gave me such a look6 ,i continued1 ,i have had dinner enough for to-day4 ,i can take the service alone1 if you are agreeable4 ,but we have no lamps for the church4 ,it cannot be4 ,i was silenced now1 and gave up the point2 when the churchwarden came forward and said he would be responsible for lighting the church4 ,the vicar at last consented1 on condition that he was allowed to have his dinner in peace4 ,as the time approached1 however1 he put off that important meal1 and joined me in a cup of tea1 after which we went together to the third service4 ,this time it was as much as we could do to get it1 and when we did succeed a most striking sight presented itself4 ,the whole church was lighted from the pews4 ,some of the wealthier people had lamps1 but the others had candles1 one1 two1 or more in their respective compartments4 ,from the pulpit it looked more like a market scene than a church congregation4 ,i had liberty in preaching1 and the people were greatly moved1 some of them greatly agitated-indeed1 so much so1 that the vicar thought he would not have another service in the church1 and accordingly announced that the ,monday evening meeting would be held in a building which he named1 in a village about two miles off4 ,this was a large barn-like structure1 where they cured fish in the season1 but at other times it was unoccupied4 ,the next day happened to be very wet1 and1 added to this1 in the evening it began to blow as well4 ,notwithstanding this inclemency1 when we arrived at the fish-cellar1 as it was called1 we found it crammed with people1 the women and children occupying the ground1 and sitting there on straw1 which had been provided for the occasion1 the men and boys were sitting on the cross-beams of the roof4 ,the heat in the place was stifling beyond all description1 for besides being densely crowded below and above1 the wooden shutters were shut1 on account of the wind and rain1 the people's wet clothes were steaming1 and there was a strong smell of stale fish4 ,at first we felt as if it would be impossible to bear it1 but after a little time we became used to the disagreeables1 and had other things to think about4 ,i gave out a hymn1 and after a short prayer commenced the address1 speaking as loud as ,i could1 that all the congregation might hear me4 ,during the sermon1 the responses were most vociferous and hearty1 and the attention very encouraging4 ,after speaking for about thirty minutes1 ,i observed a tall1 fine-looking fisherman1 in large high boots1 who had come in late4 ,he was standing in the little vacant space before the table1 on which were placed two candles and a glass of water4 ,i saw1 as the address went on1 that though he was very quiet1 his breast was heaving with emotion1 as if something was passing in his mind4 ,all at once1 without a moment's notice1 he fell on the ground1 and bellowed out a loud prayer for ,god's mercy--,i want ,god's mercy6 ,besides upsetting the table--candles1 water1 and all--which went down with a great crash1 he fell on one or two women1 who screamed1 in their fright and consternation1 as only women can4 ,if this had been a preconcerted signal1 it could not have been more effectual1 for there was instantly a simultaneous as well as an universal outcry4 ,the whole place was filled with a confused din of voices2 some were praying1 some singing1 some shouting1 and others exhorting1 and that at the top of their voices1 in order to be heard4 ,in the midst of this ,i began to sing a hymn1 hoping to restore order1 and many joined me2 but it only added more sound to the uproar4 ,the good vicar was overwhelmed with fear and dismay1 as well he might be1 at this tumultuous scene4 ,it was bad enough to stand and look at the waves of the sea2 but when they rose and broke1 as it were1 on the shore where he was standing1 and surrounded him1 it was altogether too much4 ,he made for the door1 and1 waiting there1 beckoned me to him4 ,when ,i came he suddenly opened it1 and drew me out1 saying1 ,there will be no peace till you are out of this place4 ,the extreme change from the hot cellar into the cold and pitiless wind and rain was so great1 that we fled precipitately to the cottage which stood opposite4 ,happily1 the door was on the latch1 and we went in4 ,i felt about in the dark for a chair1 but not finding one1 sat on the table1 listening to the noise and din of the meeting4 ,the vicar vainly thought that the tumult would subside as soon as ,i was gone1 for he said that ,i made as much noise1 if not more1 than any of them6 ,he went back into the storm to get my hat and coat1 and also the inevitable umbrella1 without which no one can get on in ,cornwall4 ,he was a long time absent1 during which a man with heavy boots came into the dark cottage where ,i was sitting1 and tumbling down on a seat somewhere1 heaved a heavy sigh4 ,he evidently did not suspect that any one was there4 ,after sighing and groaning several times1 he said to himself1 ,what shall ,i do8--what shall ,i do8 ,the man is right1 sure enough2 he is right1 ,i'm sure on it--that he is4 ,i disguised my voice1 and asked1 ,what man8 ,oh1 he said1 are you there1 neighbour8 ,couldn't yer get in8 ,why1 ,i mean the man what's been speaking inside4 ,what did he say8 ,why1 said he1 'the devil's no fool6' and of course he ain't4 ,he has hooks in all his baits1 and ,i have swallowed lots o' them4 ,oh1 what shall ,i do8 ,what shall ,i do8 ,then ,i heard him shuffling to his knees1 groaning and praying4 ,i sat still on the table1 saying1 ,amen6 amen6 every now and then1 to his prayer1 till he became terribly in earnest1 and at last got into a which the ,cornish call wrastling in prayer4 ,in this condition he was quite past heeding any one's presence4 ,i helped and guided him to the ,crucified and then he found peace1 and began to praise4 ,on coming to himself1 he recognized my voice4 ,you are the very man1 he cried1 and putting great heavy arms round my neck1 he nearly strangled me6 ,the vicar 7who ,i did not know was in the room71 here interposed1 and got my release4 ,here you are1 he said1 at it again1 and they are getting worse and worse in the barn--what ever is to be done8 ,we cannot go home through this rain1 and the carriage will not be here for at least an hour4 ,what am ,i to do8 ,i said1 ,let us go then to the barn for a short time1 just to see how they are getting on4 ,after some hesitation1 he went in with me1 and found the people praying and rejoicing2 but1 as ,i expected1 far too much absorbed to observe our presence4 ,after a time1 some of the lads noticed me and cried out lustily1 ,the parson is here6 ,the parson is here6 and in a moment we were surrounded by a number of happy people1 who were so demonstrative that they made the poor vicar tremble 7as he told me afterwards7 with a strange fear4 ,they said1 ,you will come again to-morrow8 ,certainly1 ,i replied4 ,oh1 no1 rejoined the vicar2 on no account4 ,one night of this work is quite enough--more than enough4 ,i was very loth to give up2 but a man said1 ,never mind1 we will carry it on4 ,this revival will not stop for a week or fortnight1 for certain4 ,this was terrifying news for the vicar1 who turned1 and looking at me with astonishment1 said1 reproachfully1 ,how did you do it8 ,i replied1 ,this is not my work4 ,i did not begin it1 neither can ,i stop it2 nor would ,i1 even if ,i could4 ,i dare not4 ,i have known persons brought under heavy judgment for hindering a revival4 ,take my advice1 and do not hinder this4 ,let these men go on2 they know what they are about4 ,soon the carriage came1 and we returned to the vicarage2 but the dear man was much put out1 and evidently very sorry that he had asked me to come and disturb his mill-pond4 ,indeed1 he said as much2 so ,i concluded my visit the next morning4 ,going through the village1 ,i heard that the meeting on the previous evening was continued until two o'clock in the morning1 and that it was announced there would be one in the chapel that evening4 ,as the ,church refused the blessing1 there were others who were happy to receive it4 ,i returned home sooner than ,i was expected1 and told my people1 at the evening meeting1 the things ,i had seen and heard2 and they glorified ,god4 ,,chapter #ai ,a ,mission in the ,shires4 #ahec4 ,at the time of which ,i am writing1 twenty-six or twenty-seven years ago1 special services for preaching were not called by the name of ,missions4 ,i think that word has been derived from some ,roman ,catholic perverts1 who made aggressive efforts in ,london1 which they called ,catholic ,missions4 ,from them it has been adopted by some who love to copy ,rome and ,romish phrases4 ,strange infatuation1 by which these ,romanizers in vain court a ,church which despises them1 and gives them neither place nor quarter6 ,however1 the word is now well understood1 and its meaning is plainer than any definitions of mine could make it4 ,my first journey to foreign parts 7as the ,cornish call it7 was to a town in ,devonshire1 where ,i stopped three or four days4 ,the day ,i arrived ,i preached in the church1 because it was the regular evening service2 special services were not then known1 unless it was for some ,missionary ,society1 or other such advocacy4 ,the idea of preaching to awaken souls1 was considered very strange and fanatical4 ,the church ,i preached in had high pews1 which prevented my seeing the occupants4 ,i was told that it was full1 and certainly there were faces visible here and there2 but the whole congregation was so still1 that the dropping of the proverbial pin might have been heard4 ,it was all very chilling and dead1 no ,amens6 or ,glory6 as in ,cornwall2 indeed1 the stillness had such an effect upon me1 that ,i found it difficult to get on4 ,after making two or three hard appeals1 and meeting with nothing but silence for a response1 ,i concluded1 and came away much disappointed and disheartened4 ,however1 the next morning1 the vicar showed me some beads1 leathers1 and flowers which had been left in the pews of the church4 ,so ,i found that the shots had hit somewhere1 or something4 ,walking through the town in the course of the day1 a tall mason1 with a large whitewash brush in his hand1 came running after me 7not to whitewash me7 but to ask the question1 which he did most eagerly1 ,are you the man that preached last night8 ,i said1 ,yes1 ,i am4 ,oh1 he replied1 will you preach tonight8 ,i answered him somewhat doubtfully1 ,i suppose not1 for the vicar did not know what excuse there could be for my preaching a second time4 ,he continued1 ,will you come to my house and preach this evening8 ,i have a good large room at your service1 and can promise you a congregation4 ,i assented2 so we fixed the time1 and made all other necessary arrangements4 ,on coming down in the evening1 ,i found my mason friend had invited his neighbours1 and finding more had promised to come than his room would hold1 he had opened the folding doors between two rooms upstairs1 taken down three large bedsteads1 and having borrowed forms and chairs1 he was able to accommodate seventy people4 ,as many as this came1 and more1 for men and women stood on the stairs and landing besides4 ,we sang heartily1 and after prayer1 ,i felt a little more at home than ,i had done on the previous evening'2 but it was not up to ,cornwall yet6 ,in my address ,i had liberty and power to hold the people1 and we had some conversions that evening1 and the following one also4 ,my mason friend was greatly cheered and revived1 and from this time began reaching himself1 carrying on meetings in various cottages and farm places4 ,from there ,i went on into ,dorsetshire1 and arrived at the vicarage to which ,i was going1 rather late on ,saturday night1 very tired2 so much so1 that ,i was glad to go to bed as soon as possible4 ,on ,sunday morning ,i went to church and preached to a large congregation1 the words which ,god gave me4 ,on coming out1 the vicar's wife said1 ,if ,i had sat up all night telling you about the people1 you could not have preached more appropriately2 indeed1 ,i am sure that some of them will think that ,i told you what to say4 ,it was so1 for this same lady was charged with telling me to put before some of the congregation things which her husband dared not6 ,in the evening the church was crammed to excess1 and the people were most attentive and eager4 ,some of them could scarcely restrain their feelings1 so powerfully did the ,word come home to them4 ,at the conclusion of the service1 ,i announced that ,i had come there to preach every night for the week1 and would visit them during the day4 ,accordingly in the morning ,i called at several cottages1 in one of which ,king ,george the ,third used to attend a prayer-meeting with the country people4 ,in the afternoon ,i went to the convict prison at ,portland4 ,it was sad to look upon the prisoners clanking about in their chains1 many of whom were employed in making a road to the sea4 ,i could not help saying to the chaplain1 who was walking with me1 ,what a picture is that6 ,it is exactly how ,satan employs unbelievers to make their own road to hell4 ,as such1 they are condemned already1 because they do not believe in ,christ2 and for the same reason1 their sins not being pardoned1 they are bound in chains4 ,well1 said the chaplain drily1 that seems all clear and scriptural4 ,would you like to speak to them8 ,yes1 ,i said1 ,i should4 ,he then made a sign to the warder1 who commanded that the convicts should give attention1 and the order was at once obeyed4 ,standing on the bank1 ,i spoke to them as they were assembled before me2 but instead of telling them of the devil and chains1 as the chaplain expected1 ,i spoke of ,god's love to sinners1 and said that chastisement and sorrows were not sent in anger1 but in kindness4 ,god is angry when the wicked are allowed to go on unpunished2 but when punished in this world1 it is not for expiation of sin 7for only the blood of ,jesus can do that71 but for the purpose of awakening and humbling the transgressor1 that he may with contrite heart return to the ,lord1 who alone is able to deliver us from sin and from ,satan's power4 ',it is good1' said the ,psalmist1 'that ,i have been afflicted3 before ,i was afflicted ,i went astray1 but now have ,i kept ,thy word4' ,many of the men were so affected1 that they sobbed aloud1 and ,i could scarcely refrain from doing the same thing myself4 ,after this ,i prayed that the word spoken might be blessed to those who had heard it1 and then took my leave4 ,it was not easy to dismiss this sad scene from my mind1 nor have ,i ever lost the impression it made upon me4 ,we had a very good time that evening in the church1 and there was much power and blessing4 ,at the close of the service1 ,i gave out that ,i would preach again the following evening1 and having no opportunity for an after-meeting1 the word preached was left with prayer for a blessing on it4 ,the next morning there came an unexpected1 as well as a most abrupt1 opposition to the work2 and no wonder1 for it was not likely that ,satan would permit it to go on smoothly4 ,a vicar from the neighbourhood1 who had formerly been a military man1 and had still the commanding manner of such1 presented himself1 and tried to terrify my good and kind friend1 the vicar4 ,he told him that he had heard a great deal about me2 that ,i was just like ,starkie199 and preached the same doctrines2 and that he was deputed by other clergymen to come and ask that my preaching be stopped4 ,then he went on to say that ,i was nothing less than a ,jesuit in disguise2 and turning2 to me1 he said1 ,sir1 you know you are6 ,i replied1 begging his pardon1 ,i can assure you ,i am not4 ,you must be altogether misinformed4 ,but he said1 again turning round1 and sternly looking at me1 ,you know ,i am not mistaken or misinformed2 your countenance betrays you6 ,i smiled at this1 not knowing how my countenance looked4 ,he was quite satisfied with himself1 and rather more so because he thought he had succeeded in extracting a promise from the vicar that the services in question should be stopped4 99 ,a clergyman who had associated himself with ,h4 ,j4 ,prince and some others1 and founded the ,agapemone at ,spaxton1 near ,bridgewater4 ,this officer-clergyman then went away1 saying that he was quite convinced in his mind that ,i was a ,jesuit1 and nothing should ever dissuade him2 this interview had confirmed his thoughts on the subject4 ,my dear good friend was so afraid of that loud1 overbearing man1 that he consented to give up the services after that night4 ,presently another clergyman1 evidently in concert with the former1 called on the same errand4 ,his more gentle manner and plausible words had greater effect1 so that the vicar more than half decided to have no service1 even on that evening4 ,before he had fully made up his mind1 it so happened that there came on a tremendous thunderstorm1 accompanied with hail and vivid flashes of lightning4 ,this was considered by him quite providential1 and an indication that ,god wished the services stopped4 ,when the sexton came over to the vicarage1 a little before the service time1 the vicar said1 ,don't ring the bell for church tonight2 it is of no use3 no one can possibly come out this weather6 ,why1 sir1 said the sexton1 the church have been crammed full this half-hour4 ,it's no use ringing the bell1 sure1 for we ain't got no room for no more people4 ,now1 that is remarkable1 said the vicar4 ,i do think1 after all1 the ,lord would have us go on4 ,what do you think8 he said1 turning to me4 ,i replied1 ,without doubt ,i think so4 ,i cannot suppose that the ,lord would send such men1 in such a tone1 to stop ,his work4 ,well1 then1 said the vicar1 we will go on till the end of the week4 ,but this could not be2 for in the morning1 as soon as he had decided to stop the services1 ,i sat down and wrote to a cousin of mine1 in the neighbourhood 7and the letter had gone71 to get me the parish church for the next evening1 and said1 ,i would come to her on a visit for a few days1 as my preaching in this place was brought to an end4 ,i spoke that evening1 and announced that ,i would do so again on ,thursday4 ,on the following day ,i went on this promised visit to another part of the county1 and was not long in the company of my cousin1 before ,i found out that she had been brought up in ,evangelical doctrines1 and hated ,puseyism2 but that she had never been converted4 ,in the evening1 we went to the ,minster ,church1 the use of which she had obtained for me4 ,there1 ,i preached from the words1 ,behold1 ,i stand at the door and knock4 7,i did not know then1 as ,i old now1 that this is a text for believers47 ,accommodating it for my purpose1 ,i made out that many people assented to evangelical doctrines1 without yielding to them3 that is1 they heard the knocking1 but did not open the door and receive the ,saviour2 therefore1 they remained unsaved2 and if they died like that1 would be lost for ever6 ,when ,i first ascended the pulpit1 which stood outside of a high chancel screen1 ,i looked towards the nave1 and saw it filled with high pews1 which1 as ,i thought1 were for the most part empty2 whereas1 ,i could see that the choir and chancel1 which was brightly lighted1 was full of choir-men and boys1 besides many people2 so instead of turning my back upon the many in the lighted chancel1 and addressing myself to the unseen few in the large dark nave1 ,i turned round in the pulpit1 and1 looking through the screen1 ,i preached to those ,i could see4 ,the people in the nave1 however1 were most attentive to hear2 and after the sermon came up and asked me why ,i had turned my back on them1 for they could not hear all ,i said4 ,evidently they had heard something which had interested them4 ,seeing so many were anxious1 we invited those who wished for further help1 or instruction1 to come home with us4 ,many did so1 and we held a kind of after-meeting1 in which my cousin and several others found peace4 ,i could not promise to stay there any longer1 having settled to return on ,thursday to resume services in the church previously referred to4 ,accordingly ,i went back to a neighbouring town1 where my good vicar had appointed to meet me4 ,he did so1 and1 without delay1 commenced telling me1 that he had had a long talk with some of his brother clergymen1 and had given his word that the services were positively to be discontinued after that night2 he also told me he had taken my place by the coach1 and that ,i was to start for ,exeter the next morning1 on my way home4 ,then he went on to say that he found it would be dangerous to keep me any longer1 for he should have the whole neighbourhood up about it4 ,in his timidity1 he would rather let the work stop1 than be embroiled with the neighbourhood6 ,the evening service was crowded1 and the people were very disappointed that ,i was not allowed to remain4 ,however1 ,i told them it could not be1 and that ,i must go--so took leave of them4 ,the next morning we rose early1 and breakfasted at six o'clock1 then drove out to the turnpike road1 to meet the coach at an appointed corner1 at seven4 ,it arrived in due time1 piled up high into the air with passengers and luggage2 but having an inside place secured for me1 we were not dismayed at the outside appearance4 ,the coachman got off the box1 and1 instead of opening the coach door as we expected1 put some money into my hand1 and1 with a grinning countenance1 said1 ,there's your money1 sir4 ,sorry to say can't take you today2 hain't got a crevice of room anywhere4 ,good morning1 sir4 ,in a moment more he was up on his box1 with reins in hand4 ,take you tomorrow1 sir1 same time4 ,good morning4 ,and off he went'4 ,imagine our surprise at being left on the roadside in this unceremonious way4 ,my good little vicar was most indignant at being thus treated4 ,i'll make him pay for that1 he said4 ,i'll punish him--it's against the law4 ,and then1 as if a new thought had suddenly come to him1 he said1 ,ah1 ,i know what we will do6 ,jump into the carriage again2 and putting my luggage in1 he got up1 and drove me to the next town4 ,he said1 ,we will take a post-chaise1 and make the coach people pay for it2 that's it--that's what we will do4 ,i suggested that ,i did not think we could do that1 having received the money back4 ,ah1 that's nothing1 he said2 that's nothing4 ,we will take a post-chaise4 ,this scheme was prevented2 for on arriving at the hotel1 there was not a carriage of any kind to be had4 ,are you sure of that8 said the vicar 7as if all the world was in league with the coach proprietor74 ,are you quite sure8 ,you had better come and see for yourself1 said the ostler1 in a surly tone4 ,we went into the yard1 and found the coach houses quite empty4 ,that's very remarkable1 said the vicar2 but these people are connected with that coach--it changes horses here4 ,we will go to the next inn4 ,there they did not let out carriages at all6 ,well now1 said the vicar1 this is very remarkable1 and was silent4 ,perhaps the ,lord does not mean me to go today1 ,i said meekly4 ,it seems so1 certainly4 ,i must say it is very remarkable4 ,i suggested that ,i would stay at the inn till the next morning1 as there was no means of getting on4 ,shall ,i do so8 ,oh1 no2 certainly not--certainly not1 said the kind man4 ,not at all--not at all4 ,we will go back again4 ,but1 ,i said1 what will they think when they see me8 ,poor dear man1 like many others he was dreadfully frightened at the thought of what will they think8 ,as if they did not go on thinking whether one gives them occasion or not4 ,in due course1 we arrived again in sight of the vicarage gate1 and there we saw the vicar's wife1 with her hands up in astonishment4 ,she exclaimed1 ,what6 are you come back8 ,yes1 we are indeed6 said the vicar1 and he was going to tell her how it was1 but she was too impatient to listen1 having1 as she thought1 something more important to communicate4 ,she said1 ,after you went away this morning1 the weather being so fine1 ,i thought that ,i would go into the village1 and see some of the people who were at church last evening4 ,in passing by widow ,s4's cottage1 on my way to another1 ,i saw her door and window open1 and heard her praying very earnestly1 ',lord1 bring him back6 bring him back6' ,i thought she was praying about her husband1 who had recently died2 and that ,i would go in and try to comfort her4 ,so ,i knelt down by her side1 and repeated the words1 ',i shall go to him1 but he shall not return to me1' when she turned round' and said1 ',oh1 ,i don't mean that6' and then1 as if she grudged every breath which was spent in other words1 she went on repeating1 ',lord1 bring him back6 ,lord1 bring him back6' ',who do you mean8' ,i said1 'what can you mean8' ,she went on1 ',o ,lord1 ,i saw him go away4 ,i saw them take him away4 ,lord1 bring him back6 bring him back6' ,i again said1 ',who do you mean8' ,she took no heed1 but went on1 ',o ,lord1 when ,i opened the window ,i saw him coming out of the vicarage gate4 ,lord1 bring him back6 do bring him back6' ,at last ,i understood that she was praying for you to be brought back4 ,then ,i said to her1 ',dear woman1 do get from your knees1 and let me talk to you4' ,no1 she would not get up4 ,no1 ,i can't get up4 ,lord1 bring him back6 bring him back6' ,it cannot be1' ,i said2 'he is on the coach by this time--a long way off4' ,the woman became frantic at the thought4 ',oh1 what shall ,i do8 what shall ,i do8 ,lord1 bring him back6' ,seeing that ,i could do nothing in the matter1 ,i went to call on some other people1 and coming back found the widow still on her knees1 urging the same petition without stopping4 ,well1 that is remarkable1 interposed the vicar4 ,without a moment's pause1 ,i set off to show myself to the widow4 ,now6 there you are1 she said2 the ,lord has sent you back4 ,i laid awake best part of the night1 thinking of some questions ,i wished to ask you2 and when ,i saw you go away like that1 so early in the morning1 it gave me quite a turn4 ,i thought ,i should be lost for ever6 ,her questions concerned her soul's condition4 ,on my putting ,christ and ,his salvation before her for her acceptance1 she found peace2 and afterwards became a good helper in the parish4 ,there were some other anxious ones she urged me to visit1 which ,i did4 ,on referring to my letters1 written at the time1 ,i find a record of five persons who professed to find peace that morning4 ,in the evening1 we had a kind of service in the school-room1 with as many as we could get together1 and spent a very happy time in prayer and praise4 ,the next morning ,i started for home1 which ,i reached late on ,saturday night1 or rather early on ,sunday morning1 and appeared quite unexpectedly among my people again4 ,i gave them an account of the state of things in the shires4 ,this1 my first experience of foreign missions1 was not encouraging4 ,ever since my conversion1 ,i had been over head and ears in conversion work1 and1 as a loyal young convert1 thought at that time there was nothing else in the world to live1 or work for6 ,how surprised ,i was when ,i found that this was not by any means the first thing in the minds of my ,evangelical brethren2 and more so still when ,i saw that even preaching for the salvation of souls was put aside altogether1 if 'it did not fit in with the stated service-day of the week1 or public opinion4 ,if people came to church1 or better still1 to the communion table1 they were considered quite satisfactory enough1 even though they were dead in trespasses and sins4 ,i did not1 of course1 expect anything from my own neighbours1 for ,i knew them of old2 but from accredited standard bearers1 ,i did expect something and got nothing4 ,while ,i was still feeling sore and disappointed1 intending not to go out on such errands any more1 ,i found myself promised to another mission in a most unexpected manner2 but this did not happen to be out of ,cornwall1 and therefore prospered better1 as we shall see4 ,,chapter #bj ,a ,stranger from ,london1 #ahec4 ,a lady in ,london1 reading in the ,cornish newspapers about our revivals1 became much interested1 and having a strong desire to witness such a movement personally1 proposed a visit to her uncle in ,truro1 who had sent her those papers4 ,being accepted1 she came down a long way in those days1 when railway communication was not so complete as it is now4 ,this same lady was present at my church on ,sunday morning2 and expressing a wish to attend the afternoon service1 we gladly welcomed her to the parsonage4 ,in course of conversation1 she spoke of churches in ,london where the ,gospel was preached in its fullness2 and ,i naturally asked her whether they had after-meetings4 ,she said1 she did not know what ,i meant4 ,prayer meetings1 for conversion work1 ,i mean4 ,what is that8 she inquired4 ,is not conversion ,god's work8 ,yes1 ,i answered1 indeed it is2 but so is the harvest yonder in the corn-fields3 it is all ,god's work1 but men have to plough the ground and sow the seed4 ,oh1 is that what you call revival work8 ,i have read of it2 and1 to tell the truth1 ,i have come all the way from ,london to see it4 ,she evidently had an idea that revivals were something like thunder-storms1 which come of themselves1 no one knows how or why2 or something that is vented1 like an occasional eruption of ,mount ,vesuvius4 ,i said1 ,revivals--that is1 the refreshening of believers and the awakening of sinners--ought to take place wherever the ,gospel is preached in faith and power4 ,she could not understand it1 and said1 ,it is not so in churches1 is it8 ,yes1 ,i replied1 in churches as well as in cottages1 halls and chapels too4 ,i am sure ,mr4 ---- in ,london preaches a full ,gospel1 but ,i have never heard of a revival there2 indeed1 ,i feel convinced they would not allow it4 ,is he converted8 ,i asked4 ,she smiled at the question1 and said1 ,i suppose he is4 ,i mean1 does he preach about the forgiveness of sins8 and1 more than this1 does he expect people to have forgiveness8 ,she said she could not understand my ,cornish way of talking--,they do not speak like that in ,london4 ,your sins are pardoned1 ,i said1 by way of explanation1 in order to get her to comprehend my meaning from her own experience4 ,your sins are pardoned4 ,she got very confused4 ,you know1 ,i continued1 that it is a happy day when ,jesus takes our sins away4 ,this only made matters worse4 ,she became greatly embarrassed4 ,while we spoke of ,london and ,gospel preaching she was free enough2 but the moment ,i made a personal application of the subject1 she was altogether bewildered4 ,at last1 with a kind of forced effort1 she said1 ,i have been a child of ,god for eleven years4 ,thank ,god6 ,i said1 much relieved2 that is what ,i mean4 ,you have been converted and pardoned for eleven years4 ,it is all right1 then4 ,i did not intend to perplex you1 and am sorry ,i did not convey ray meaning in a better manner4 ,but ,i could not smooth down her ruffled feathers so easily1 and was glad when the five minutes' bell began ringing to summon us to church4 ,we got ready1 and went4 ,it happened to be a children's service1 and our subject that afternoon was ,joseph's reconciliation with his brethren4 ,three questions1 among others1 were asked and dwelt upon4 ,first1 ,was ,joseph reconciled with his brethren while they were self-convicted before him1 and condemned themselves as verily guilty concerning their brother8--,no4 ,second1 ,was he reconciled when he feasted with them1 and made merry8--,no4 ,third1 ,when1 then1 was he reconciled8--,when they surrendered themselves1 and all the eleven were prostrate at his feet1 like the eleven sheaves which bowed to ,joseph's sheaf in the harvest field2 then he made himself known to them1 and forgave them4 ,it is not when a soul is under condemnation1 nor yet when it is happy1 that it is saved2 but when it is actually1 once for all1 surrendered to ,christ for salvation1 then it is ,he makes himself known to them1 even as ,joseph did to his brethren4 ,the lady went away4 ,i did not ascertain who she was1 nor where she came from2 ,i was not much taken with her1 nor was she with me4 ,hers was evidently a kind of religion which ,i had not met with before1 and did not care to meet with again4 ,the next day ,i went for a few hours' rest and change to the sea-side at ,perran1 but there was a burden of prayer on my soul4 ,i could not thank ,god for that unknown lady1 but ,i could pray for mercy for her4 ,the impression on my mind was very clear3 ,i felt that she was not saved4 ,the day following the burden was heavier still1 and ,i was on my knees praying for her for several hours in the day4 ,in the evening ,i was quite in distress4 ,the next day ,i was most anxious for her1 and could do nothing but pray1 even with tears4 ,this lasted till the following day 7,thursday71 when ,i happened to go into the drawing-room for something1 and there ,i observed a strange ,bible lying on the table4 ,i remembered that ,i had seen that same book in the lady's hand on ,sunday4 ,i took it up1 and saw a name1 and on making inquiry of the servants ,i found out that she came in ,mr4 --'s carriage on ,sunday4 ,this was enough4 ,i wrote a note immediately1 and sent the ,bible1 saying that ,i was greatly burdened for her soul1 and should much like to see her4 ,she sent me a kind letter in reply1 appointing the following ,monday for my visit4 ,on that day ,i called1 and found her very kind1 and seemingly thankful for the interest ,i expressed in her welfare4 ,i said that she had nothing really to thank me for1 for ,i could not help myself2 the burden had been laid upon me4 ,then ,i asked her if she would tell me how she became a child of ,god4 ,she did so readily1 and told me that once she was in the world1 and as fond of dancing and pleasure as others with whom she associated2 that in the midst of her gaiety she was called to the death-bed of a cousin1 who was just such a lover of pleasure as herself4 ,her cousin said1 ,oh1 ,mary1 give up the world for my sake4 ,i am lost6 ,oh1 ,mary1 give it up6 ,soon she died1 poor girl1 just awakened enough to see and feel herself hopelessly lost--a dying worldling4 ,no one was near to point her to the ,saviour1 so she departed as she had liked to live1 without salvation4 ,mary wept at the remembrance of that solemn scene1 and said she could never forget it4 ,well1 ,i said1 and what did you do then8 ,she answered firmly1 ,i knelt down then and there1 by the side of the bed where my poor cousin had just died1 and ,i called ,god to witness that ,i would give up the world4 ,i did so2 and have never had any inclination to go back into its gaieties and pleasures since4 ,i began from that time to pray1 and read my ,bible1 and go to church2 and ,i love these things now better than ,i did the things of the world before4 ,at the time of this change1 she was led to a church where ,evangelical truth was preached simply and plainly2 and thus became distinctly enlightened as to the way of salvation4 ,she fully assented and consented to what she heard1 and therefore became a very earnest disciple1 enthusiastic about the sovereignty of ,god and the doctrines of grace1 and all such matters4 ,she understood the meaning of the ,levitical types and offerings2 could speak of dispensational truth and prophecy2 was very zealous about missions to the heathen1 and was also earnestly devoted to many charitable works at home4 ,there was1 however1 one little suspicious thing in the midst of all this manifest goodness4 ,she had not much patience with elementary ,gospel sermons1 or much interest in1 or sympathy with1 efforts made to bring in perishing souls2 she loved rather to be fed with high doctrines1 and the mysteries of grace with its deeper teachings4 ,there are some men who love to preach exclusively about these things1 even before mixed congregations1 addressing them as if they were all real ,christians4 ,it is surprising how many people there are just like ,mary1 who seem to care more for doctrines than for ,cod ,himself--more for favourite truths than for souls4 ,a simple1 elementary ,gospel address1 with some clear illustrations1 was just the very thing ,mary wanted for her own soul's good1 more than anything2 but1 unfortunately1 this was the thing against which she was prejudiced1 for she abhorred anecdotal sermons4 ,after hearing her story1 ,i said1 ,it is very interesting2 but there is one great deficiency in it4 ,you have not told me anything' about ,christ2 have you nothing to say about the blood of ,jesus1 and about your sins8 ,have you had no real transaction with ',god about them8 ,she said she did not know what ,i meant4 ,did you never come as a sinner1 and obtain the forgiveness of your sins8 ,no1 she replied2 that is what ,i do not understand about your teaching4 ,i showed her1 as plainly as ,i could1 that she had not told me about conversion1 but reformation4 ,you have only turned over a new leaf1 and kept your resolutions prayerfully and well for eleven years2 but this is not turning back the old leaves of your past life1 and getting them washed in the blood of the ,lamb4 ',he that covers his sins' in this way1 'can never prosper4' ,if a man owes a debt for which he is very sorry1 and determines that in future he will pay for everything he gets--this will not pay his past debts4 ,she went on to justify herself1 and said1 that she knew a great many good ,christian people1 and that none of them had ever suspected her as ,i did4 ,i endeavoured to assure her that ,i was dreadfully alarmed about her condition1 and was certain that if she died like that1 there would be no more hope for her salvation than for her cousin's4 ,this seemed to rouse her hostility1 and ,i saw that ,i had lost influence4 ,however1 ,i could not blame myself1 for ,i had only said what ,i felt to be true4 ,i returned home and prayed for more wisdom4 ,all that night ,i could not sleep1 and most of it was spent in pleading with ,god4 ,i felt as if a restless bird was flying about the room1 and something was saying1 ,she will be lost forever4 ,i urged my petition again and again4 ,the next day ,i called1 and found this lady quite broken down1 and ready to pray and listen to my teaching4 ,i was most thankful1 and greatly relieved after the night's restlessness4 ,i had much happiness in pointing out the way of salvation as an experimental thing4 ,she knew1 before ,i did1 the doctrine of the ,a tenement1 but she had had no experience of its real efficacy4 ,now that her eyes were opened1 she was in right earnest to know the reality of sins forgiven4 ,soon she found this1 though not yet the joy of deliverance2 she knew the peace and shelter of the sprinkled blood 7,exod4 #ab3ac71 but not yet the joy and liberty of being on the rock on the other side of the ,red ,sea 7,exod4 #ae3 #b74 ,i was sure that it would all come in due time1 and therefore was able to take comfort1 and also to comfort her4 ,i saw a good deal of her at that time1 and one day she told me that a relation of hers1 a clergyman1 was coming to have it out with me for saying that she was not converted before4 ,certainly1 ,i replied1 ,i shall be happy to meet him1 and hope you will be in the room4 ,when the dreaded man arrived1 we were introduced to one another4 ,well1 he said1 you are a very different-looking than to what ,i imagined4 ,i have heard a deal about you4 ,so you are a ,puseyite turned ,evangelical1 eh8 ,i have often heard of people going the other way1 but ,i must say ,i have never met a man who had come in this direction4 ,he then asked about the results of my industry4 ,i told him what was the effect in my church and parish1 and that the same signs followed the preaching of the ,gospel wherever ,i went4 ,i wish1 he said1 you would come and preach in my parish4 ,you know a great friend of mine at ,veryam and have preached in his pulpit4 ,will you do the same for me8 ,oh1 yes1 ,i said1 certainly1 with pleasure4 ,now1 look at me1 for ,i am a man of business3 when will you come8 ,name your day4 ,i looked at my pocket-book1 and fixed upon a certain ,monday4 ,then he arranged that we should have a kind of missionary meeting1 ,in the course of which1 he said1 you can preach as much ,gospel as you like4 ,if it goes well1 we will have a lecture the next evening on ',heart ,conversion1' and another the evening following1 on something else4 ,he was quite sure noone would come to hear a sermon only4 ,it must be a missionary meeting1 or something of the kind1 to bring the people out4 ,on the day appointed1 the barn where we were assembled was well filled1 and seeing that the people were interested1 the vicar gave out1 ,mr ,haslam will lecture tomorrow evening on ,heart ,conversion4 ,the next evening1 when we arrived1 we found the barn quite full1 and numbers standing outside2 besides1 there were many more whom we passed on the road4 ,so it was determined that we should go into the church and have a short service4 ,the edifice was soon lighted1 and filled1 and after a few collects and hymns 7for they had a hymn-book in that church71 ,i went up into the pulpit1 and preached upon the absolute necessity of conversion--no salvation without it4 ,as to heart conversion1 what is conversion at all if the heart is not touched8 ,then ,i treated my subject from another point of view4 ,every converted person here knows what heart conversion is2 and if any one does not1 it is clear he is not converted4 ,if he dies in that state1 he wilt be lost for ever6 ,i concluded the sermon with prayer2 and while ,i was praying in the pulpit1 one after another of the people in the pews began to cry aloud for mercy4 ,my friend ,mary likened it to a battle-field1 and me to a surgeon going from one wounded one to another to help them4 ,at eleven o'clock we closed the service1 promising to hold another the next day4 ,on ,wednesday morning ,mary awoke from her sleep with a voice saying to her1 ,behold the ,lamb of ,god1 which taketh away the sin of the world4 ,then all my sins are gone4 ,he has borne them4 ,he ',himself bore our sins in ,his own body on the tree4' ,she was filled with joy unspeakable1 and came to breakfast rejoicing4 ,the lady of the house was in tears1 the servants were troubled1 and the vicar alternately glad and sorry1 for he was not sure whether it was excitement or the work of ,god1 and did not know what to make of it4 ,however1 in the evening he broke down in his reading-desk in the middle of the sermon1 and burst out1 ,lord1 save me6 ,in an instant the whole congregation was up1 and the people everywhere either crying for mercy1 or rejoicing4 ,the power of the ,lord was present to heal them1 and many souls were saved that night2 and besides these1 there were others who were troubled4 ,amongst this number was the young squire of the parish4 ,he was afterwards decidedly converted to ,god1 and took great interest in the work4 ,when twitted on the bench by his brother magistrates about the revival1 he stood his ground manfully1 and gave good testimony4 ,he continues to this day a bold champion for the truth as it is in ,jesus4 ,,chapter #ba ,golant ,mission1 #ahed4 ,it is a good plan to strike while the iron is hot2' and as the people at ,colant were in an interested and receptive state1 ,i put off other things which had been appointed1 and made arrangements to return to the battle-field as soon as possible4 ,my people were much excited to hear what ,i was able to tell them of my three days' visit1 and they wished me ,god speed for my next venture1 praying most heartily for great blessing4 ,accordingly1 on the following ,monday ,i went back to ,colant1 and found the place 7an unusually quiet country village71 together with the whole neighbourhood round1 including two or three small towns all astir4 ,as a rule1 in order to insure success in a mission1 there needs preparation1 visitation1 and prayer2 and ,i have observed that when there has been no preparation in the way of public announcements of services1 the people have not come out1 and the mission has been a failure4 ,where there has been a regular system of visitation1 without prayer1 the congregations have been abundant1 but the services have been dry and hard2 but in places where preparation and visitation have been made with much prayer1 there has ever been a most unmistakable blessing4 ,so much for human agencies1 which are necessary to us1 though ,god is not bound to them4 ,there had been no preparation for the mission ,i am about to tell of1 no visitation1 nor any special prayer2 and yet it pleased the ,lord to give in this little village such an outpouring of ,his ,spirit and demonstration of ,his ,power as is rarely known4 ,there was a great running together of the people1 notwithstanding the difficulties of access to the church4 ,some had to come several miles from the towns by road1 some by sea1 and others across a tidal river where mud abounded2 and after landing1 they had to climb a steep hill4 ,none of these things1 however1 deterred or discouraged them2 they came1 and they would come1 in spite of everything which was urged at other times as an excuse for staying away1 even on dark nights4 ,it was the day of the ,lord's power1 and ,he made them willing2 so much so1 that in some places work was suspended1 and people came even three times a day4 ,on the ,monday evening1 when ,i arrived1 ,i found that the church would scarcely hold the people who bad gathered to hear the ,word of ,god4 ,it was a time of much blessing1 and we remained there hard at work till eleven o'clock1 when1 having four miles to go in order to get home1 ,i closed the service1 offering to meet any anxious souls there at half-past ten the next morning4 ,this ,i did1 and was surprised to find a number of persons waiting1 even at this early hour4 ,there were too many to speak to individually1 so ,i addressed them collectively1 giving the ordinary instruction to seeking souls4 ,in the afternoon we had a still larger number1 and in the evening a crowded congregation2 in this way the work continued1 with three services a day throughout the week1 accompanied with remarkable conversions every day4 ,among the number of those who attended was a surgeon1 his wife and brother1 and the wife of a respectable yeoman4 ,these1 together with several more from the village on the other side of the river1 were converted to ,god4 ,their rector was amazed to see them so changed1 and wondered by what process this was accomplished4 ,he attended an afternoon service1 and was astonished to see so many people present on a week-day4 ,afterwards introducing himself1 he asked me very politely1 ,what is the secret of all this8 ,he stud1 ,i have heard you preach1 and certainly do not agree with most part of what you said1 nor do ,i see anything either in your manner or matter which can account for this effect and work amongst the people4 ,i must say1 ,i cannot ask you to my pulpit1 but ,i should much like a talk with you4 ,will you come over to luncheon with me8 ,i liked the candour and gentlemanly bearing of the man1 and wished to go1 but could not fix a time while ,i was so much occupied2 so ,i promised ,i would write1 and offer him a visit when ,i had more leisure4 ,in addition to the three services in church1 we had another in the morning at seven o'clock1 in the town where ,i slept4 ,there we gathered the anxious ones who had been at the church the night before1 and had come away early on account of the distance4 ,the little town was all in a commotion1 and the vicar in this place was beginning to get furious about my holding this meeting in his parish2 his daughter1 in particular1 went about warning the people against attending it4 ,some young men hired a four-oared boat to come to the evening service1 intending to disturb the congregation4 ,they arrived in good time1 but1 for all that1 they were too late to get a seat4 ,one young man1 the ringleader of the party1 instead of causing a disturbance1 stood still and listened most attentively4 ,i preached that evening from the words1 ,and the door was shut1 referring to the ark1 and the awful desolation and doom of those who were shut out4 ,all the time ,i was preaching1 ,i could see this same man standing before the pulpit1 with his elbow leaning on the end of a high pew4 ,he maintained this position throughout the service1 and at the end of the sermon was still there1 rigid and stiff1 looking at the pulpit as if in a trance4 ,he would not move or speak2 there he stood1 till we feared he had gone out of his mind4 ,his companions were awed and took him away as well as they could1 but did not embark on their return journey till after midnight1 and then the tide was against them4 ,soon after they had started1 the wind rose1 and there came on a great storm2 the thunder was loud1 and the flashes of lightning awful4 ,the wind became so strong and violent1 that1 in spite of all their efforts1 the boat was stranded2 they managed1 however1 to get out and pull it out of the water1 and took refuge for a time under overhanging rocks on the shore4 ,the young man continued as one stunned1 and said nothing4 ,there they remained till between four and five o'clock in the morning1 when the storm abated1 and they were able to set out again4 ,at last they succeeded in reaching home4 ,while these unfortunate young men were battling with the elements1 we went home by land and had a night's rest1 though it was but a short one4 ,i rose and went to my meeting at seven o'clock1 and on arriving found the room quite full1 there being only one chair unoccupied4 ,as ,i stood to 'speak1 this seat remained vacant1 so ,i beckoned a young man who was standing at the door to come and take it4 ,he looked worn and sad1 and ,i thought ,i recognized in him the same young man ,i had noticed the previous night1 and who1 ,i was told1 was the ringleader of the party who came in the boat with the purpose of disturbing the meeting4 ,he sat down1 sighing heavily several times4 ,almost directly a man came forward and whispered to me1 ,you have a wolf near you--take care6 ,all1 right1 ,i said1 he is tame enough now2 there is no more bite in him4 ,yes1 yes1 said the young man1 overhearing us1 no more wolf4 ,o ,god1 change me to a lamb6 ,poor fellow6 he was in great trouble all day1 and fainted away several times before he found peace1 which he did very dearly4 ,he came to the evening meeting1 shouting ,hallelujah6 and stirred us all greatly4 ,several others of the same party were also converted4 ,the news of this made some of the town's people furious2 and1 being the fifth of ,november1 they consoled themselves by making a straw effigy to represent me4 ,they put on it a sheet in place of a surplice1 with a paper mitre on its head1 and1 setting it on a donkey1 carried it through the town1 accompanied by a crowd of men and boys1 who shouted at the top of their voices1 ,here goes the ,puseyite revivalist6 ,here goes the ,puseyite revivalist6 ,hurrah6 ,hurrah6 ,in this complimentary sport the curate and one of the churchwardens took part4 ,that same night this churchwarden 7who1 ,i should say1 had been one of the boating party two nights before7 had a dream4 ,he dreamt that his house was full of people1 just like the church he had been in2 all the rooms1 the staircase1 and even his own bedroom1 were filled with people standing4 ,there was a tremendous storm of wind and rain2 the thunder rolled1 and the lightning flashed4 ,in the midst of this a voice said to him1 ,this is all about you1 you sinner6 ,he awoke up out of his sleep in a terrible fright1 and began to cry to the ,lord to have mercy on his soul4 ,i was sent for before five o'clock in the morning to come and see him1 for his friends said that they thought he would go out of his mind4 ,instead of this1 he came to his right mind1 for the ,lord heard and answered his prayer1 and brought him from darkness into light1 and from the power of sin and ,satan unto ,god4 ,he went with me to the early morning meeting2 there we had the two chief leaders of the riotous party in a changed condition1 for which we heartily thanked ,god4 ,their friend1 the curate1 was very excited and angry about this1 and did not quite know who to blame4 ,he said that he would write to the ,bishop and tell him what was going on2 and ,i believe he did not fail to carry out his intention4 ,as there were many who1 from various causes1 were unable to go four miles to an evening service1 ,i managed to secure the ,town ,hall for a course of lectures on the ,pilgrim's ,progress4 ,the curate came to the first1 and1 after hearing the lecture1 stood up to speak1 and gave went to his feelings by saying a great many very angry things4 ,the people were so indignant1 that ,i could scarcely restrain them from laying hands on him to turn him out4 ,some of the old forms and seats in the ,town ,hall 7which was not accustomed to be so crowded7 broke down with the weight of people4 ,the vicar's daughter suggested that most likely they should hear next that the forms and seats were converted1 for she had been told already that they were broken down4 ,this little straw will show which way the wind blew in that quarter1 and what was the drift of this lady's mind4 ,my friend with whom ,i was staying was evidently much perplexed1 and found himself let in for far more than he had calculated when he invited me4 ,he certainly would never have asked me had he foreseen such an upset as there was everywhere1 especially in the town in which he lived1 and the country parish of which he was vicar4 ,at last he made up his mind to take me with him to consult a clerical neighbour1 upon whose judgment he greatly relied4 ,on our way a sudden thought of misgiving came over him2 he all at once turned to me and said4 ,i say1 my friend1 ,i'll be done with you altogether if you say ,mr4 ---- is not converted6 ,then1 ,i replied1 you may be sure ,i will not say it4 ,but suppose you think so8 ,well1 ,i must confess ,i think so already1 and not without good reason 7at least1 to my mind71 for he has taken no interest whatever in this remarkable work of ,god1 nor has he shown the least sympathy in the spiritual welfare of many of his parishioners1 who have received blessing at the meetings4 ,his ,high ,church neighbour1 who does not profess to be converted1 could not help coming over to ask about it1 while your friend has never been near1 nor even sent to make inquiry4 ,besides this1 one of his own people told me that he was much put out1 and very angry with you for asking me4 ,ah1 said my friend1 we are not all revivalists like you1 remember4 ,well1 ,i said1 let me hope you are a deal better than ,i am4 ,he seemed very uneasy at taking me on after this conversation2 but as he had written to say we were coming1 he thought we must go forward4 ,in order to ease his mind1 ,i made an agreement with him that during luncheon ,i would tell about the conversion of one of ,mr4 --'s parishioners1 and said1 ,while ,i do so1 you watch his face4 ,if he is at all interested1 ,i will conclude that ,i am wrong1 and that he is converted2 but if he is not1 ,i will leave you to judge for yourself4 ,i must say1 ,i cannot understand a converted man not interested in the conversion of others1 even if it does nothing more than remind him of his own4 ,my friend agreed to this1 and seemed somewhat relieved in his mind4 ,on our arrival1 ,mr4 -- received us courteously1 and asked after the family--indeed1 about everything he could think of but the work4 ,my friend1 after a little pause1 said1 ,have you not heard of the revival8 ,revival6 he said1 calmly4 ,what is that8 ,the special services in my church4 ,what services8 ,this evidently was enough4 ,he went out of the room to try and hurry the luncheon4 ,my friend looked very thoughtful1 and said nothing1 but was clearly beginning to suspect that the judgment ,i had formed was not far wrong4 ,in course of the luncheon ,i told my story1 but not without being interrupted over and over again by the host's attentions1 and importunities to take more vegetables4 ,have you any salt8 4444 ,will you take some bread8 4444 ,will you not take a glass of wine8 ,it was quite evident he wished the story at an end4 ,my friend said1 ,that is one of your parishioners he is talking about4 ,i suspected so1 he replied4 ,all ,i can say is1 that if ,mr4 ,haslam had only known that man as long as ,i have1 he would never speak of him as he does4 ,this is not the first profession he has made4 ,he has been reformed and changed several times before this1 and has always become worse afterwards4 ,that is just the very thing ,haslam says1 said my friend--that some reformations are all flesh1 and not the work of ,god2 and1 as such1 can never stand4 ,i believe the man to be converted by ,god this time4 ,we will see--we will see1 said our host1 quietly helping himself to a glass of wine4 ,for my own part1 ,i don't believe in these things4 ,my friend and ,i exchanged looks4 ,i was silent1 but he continued1 ,i am bound to say that ,i was never converted before1 nor yet my wife1 my daughter1 or my sister4 ,what6 said the vicar1 starting1 you mean your sister ,mary8 ,well1 that is enough6 ,i don't wish to hear another word about your conversions after that6 ,i can only say that if ,i were half as good as ,mrs4 ,s---1 ,i should be well satisfied4 ,well1 now1 replied my friend1 do come over and see her1 and hear what she has to say about it herself4 ,no1 thank you1 he replied2 ,i have no desire to interfere in such matters4 ,there the conversation stopped1 leaving a wall of separation between the two clerical brothers1 who had together professed to be ,evangelical1 and cordially hated sacramental religion4 ,they had also professed to believe in salvation by faith only2 but for all this they never urged upon their people to perform any acts of faith--they only expected them to receive the doctrine4 ,i found that such people opposed me and my work a great deal more than even ,high ,church men4 ,my friend and ,i returned home1 and he told his wife and sister the result of our visit4 ,they said that they were not surprised1 for they had made up their minds on the subject1 and were quite sure that ,mr4 -- had no personal experience1 though he was so intelligent about the doctrine of salvation by faith4 ,the work1 in the meantime1 went on and spread4 ,some of the people came over from ,mr4 --'s parish to ask me to come and preach to them in a large sail-loft1 which they had prepared for the purpose4 ,my friend would not consent to my going1 and ,i was obliged to give them a refusal4 ,the next day they sent again1 not to ask me to preach1 but if ,i would just come over to visit a sick man who was anxious about his soul4 ,my friend hesitated at this also4 ,i said1 ,why do you object to my going to see the poor fellow8 ,you took me to the vicarage to talk to the vicar himself2 surely you can let me go and do the same thing to one of his parishioners4 ,no1 he said1 ,i cannot2 that is quite a different thing4 ,seeing that he was unwilling1 and that it would displease him1 ,i gave it up1 and went to the messengers and said1 ,i cannot go4 ,they were not satisfied1 and asked if the ladies would please to go2 meaning my late dear wife and ,mrs4 ,s4 7,mary71 whom they had seen working in the after-meetings4 ,my friend did not see any objection to the ladies going1 and the men seemed better pleased than if ,i had gone4 ,they visited the sick man the next day1 and after that were asked just to come and speak to a few people up here that was1 in the adjoining sail-loft4 ,on entering the place1 to their astonishment1 they saw about three hundred people sitting quietly waiting4 ,what is this8 asked my wife4 ,the man said1 ,i only asked a few1 but all those people are come4 ,do give them just a word4 ,she had never yet ventured on addressing a large company like that1 and ,mary was shocked at the idea2 but still1 they were afraid to refuse2 so they mounted the carpenter's bench1 which was placed there with two chairs on it2 and after a hymn and prayer1 ,mrs4 ,h4 gave an address1 which ,mary told me afterwards was far better than anything ,i ever preached4 ,they had an after-meeting1 and some conversions1 and promised to come over again4 ,thus the work spread to another part1 and ,i had to go there also4 ,poor ,mr4 -- was very excited about this1 and said that he thought it most ungentlemanly4 ,i dare say it was1 and that ,i was somewhat uncouth2 but ,i never stop to consider prejudices and fancies when the ,lord's work is in the way4 ,it was a widespread and remarkable awakening1 and one not without much opposition and jealousy4 ,i happened to say from the pulpit1 that at one time before ,i knew the truth ,i used to be quite a popular man3 people liked me1 and clergymen let me preach in their pulpits2 but now that ,i had something to tell for the good of souls1 they seemed to agree to keep me out4 ,very few were so bold as the vicar of this parish1 who had not only invited me1 but stood by me also4 ,a neighbouring clergyman1 who was an important man--a prebendary1 and what not--wrote to the vicar to ask if it was true that ,i had said in the pulpit that my clerical brethren scouted me1 and would not let me preach for them4 ,the vicar very wisely handed the indignant prebendary's letter over to me to answer1 which ,i did4 ,in my reply1 ,i took the opportunity to put in some ,gospel teaching1 which was supposed to be very irrelevant matter1 and counted evasive4 ,i did not deny that ,i had said something to the effect of which he complained1 but ,i pleaded in extenuation that ,i was justified in doing so4 ,he was more enraged by my letter than by the report he had heard1 and threatened to publish the correspondence4 ,this he did1 with a letter to his parishioners1 in which he warned them against revivals in general1 and me in particular4 ,he told them that ,i was infatuated2 that ,i had usurped the judgment seat of ,christ2 that ,i was the accuser of the brethren2 that ,i acted the devil's part now1 and was to be his companion hereafter4 ,i thought of giving more choice extracts from this publication1 but on second thoughts ,i consider it better to pass it over4 ,,chapter #bb ,the ,high ,church ,rector1 #ahed ,let bygones be bygones4 ,i am thankful to say times are changed1 but the letter referred to in the last chapter1 though expressing the sentiments of one man1 yet showed the feeling of many others4 ,i do not complain of it1 for ,i must say ,i rather like the outspoken opposition of the natural heart2 it is far better1 and much less trying1 than smiling indifference or hollow assent4 ,the work which began in this part went on and spread4 ,the refusal of the clergy to take it up sent it to the chapels1 where it was continued for miles round4 ,for this reason ,i was charged then1 and have been since1 with encouraging ,dissent1 but the accusation sits very lightly on me1 for ,i know what ,i would rather have4 ,nothing would please me so well as to have the clergy converted1 and taking up the work2 but if they will not1 then ,i would rather that the ,dissenters had the benefit1 than that it should die out and be lost4 ,dissent makes division1 but it is necessary for vitality1 under present circumstances1 and counteracts the great evil of spiritual death4 ,the light of ,god ought to be in the ,church of ,england1 for it is the ,lord's candlestick in this land2 but when the truth is not represented1 and the ,church is dark1 it is a mercy that ,god has been pleased to raise up witnesses for ,himself in other bodies4 ,the ,calvinist1 with a needless bitterness1 holds up ,god's sovereignty1 as if man's will were not free2 the ,arminian is equally energetic for man's responsibility1 as if ,god were not sovereign2 and the ,quaker is a witness for the work of the ,spirit4 ,these1 and several others1 each maintain their particular doctrine4 ,they are raised up to show respectively their own portion of the light1 because the ,church1 which has in her formularies all these great truths1 is remiss in her duty4 ,the full blaze of light which ought to be emitted from her to all sides1 is shed upon her in detail from others2 and her members are too often lighted from without1 and not from within4 ,in many parishes there was no light1 and no life or testimony in the ,church2 and had it not been for the chapels1 men and women might have perished in ignorance and error4 ,imperfect and erroneous as is some of the ,gospel which is preached in chapels and rooms1 there was more vitality in it1 and also more saving power1 than in the refined and critical teaching which emanated from many of the accredited and accepted preachers of the land4 ,where the ,church was rising up into energetic action1 in too many cases it had a sectarian1 and not a catholic object--that is to say1 it was aiming to make ,churchmen and communicants1 or members of guilds1 instead of proclaiming the ,gospel for the salvation of souls4 ,the sovereignty of ,god1 the responsibility of man1 and the work of the ,holy ,ghost1 were frequently altogether overlooked1 although this is the true catholic teaching4 ,in this ,i comprehend not only the bringing of souls from the power of ,satan to ,god1 that they may receive the forgiveness of sins1 but also that believers might go on to have an inheritance among them that are sanctified by faith in ,christ ,jesus4 ,churchism1 with its sacramentalism1 is as sectarian as any form of ,dissent1 ,romanism included2 for it falls short of ,god's object1 as declared in the ,word4 ,when the work at ,golant church abated1 ,i had more time for looking about2 so ,i proffered a visit to the ,high ,church rector1 who had asked me to come over and tell him the secret of my success4 ,he readily fixed upon a day1 so ,i went over to luncheon2 after which we began to talk4 ,the curate1 who was present1 and who had heard some ranters shouting and screaming in the shires1 kept on every now and then putting in a word of caution to restrain the rector from admitting too much2 for little by little he was yielding to me4 ,i spoke of letting down the nets for a draught1 and catching men1 not to smother and kill them in some ,church system1 or by some erroneous teaching1 but to keep them alive4 ,this1 ,i said1 is the meaning of the word in the original2 and we looked it out in the ,greek4 ,it was very interesting4 ,we then talked over the difference between the ,church system and that of the ,bible4 ,the one1 ,i said1 makes apostolic succession and the sacraments the channel of salvation2 the other the ,word of ,god1 as applied by the ,holy ,ghost4 ,we had a great battle on this point1 two against one2 but having the ,word of ,god on my side1 ,i stood by my experience4 ,i had myself been on the other side1 and was then ten times more zealous and earnest than these two were4 ,i said1 ,i used to preach salvation by ,church and sacraments once1 but ,i was not saved that way4 ,i used also to teach that the new birth was by ,baptism2 but ,i was not born again when ,i was baptized4 ,were you8 ,are you quite sure that1 with all your faith in ,baptismal ,regeneration1 you are born again of the ,spirit8 ,are you satisfied that you are now saved because you are in the ,church8 ,they were dumb4 ,so ,i went on to say1 ,i have no party or sectarian object in my work2 my only desire is to bring souls to ,christ ,himself for salvation4 ,i used1 as a priest1 to think ,i was mediator between ,christ and the sinner1 and that ,i had received by delegation some power for this purpose2 but now that ,i have been over the ground experimentally1 ,i would as soon blaspheme ,god in your presence1 as dare to absolve a sinner1 or come between ,christ and him4 ,my orders are to bring them from the power of ,satan to ,god1 and to ,christ crucified1 for forgiveness of sins4 ,at this point the rector brought out a printed sermon by ,dr4 ,pusey1 on ,justification by ,faith1 which he had been carefully reading4 ,i asked him to read it to me4 ,the first few pages contained statements of the doctrine in ,new ,testament words1 with a fair exposition of them2 but when the author same to his own thoughts about the subject1 he said that ,baptism was the cause of justification4 ,here ,i challenged the statement1 and said1 ,have you any references there--any 'stars' or 'daggers' to that8 ,yes1 he answered1 references to the ,fathers4 ,i replied1 that the ,fathers were not inspired1 ,there is no such thing as ',justification by ,baptism' in the ,scriptures2 it is by faith only1 as you will see in the fifth chapter of the ,epistle to the ,romans4 ,yes1 he said1 that is just what ,dr4 ,pusey means--,faith1 as shown in ,baptism4 ,then1 ,i said1 according to that1 in your ,baptism you were justified by ,faith2 and as a consequence you have peace with ,god1 and have access into grace1 and rejoice in the hope of the glory of ,god4 ,you will see that ,st4 ,paul connects this experience with what he calls ,justification by ,faith4 ,evidently he did not expect so much from ,baptism as you do1 or for a certainty he would have baptized every one he could reach2 but1 instead of this1 he thanked ,god that he had only baptized a few persons whom he named 7#a ,cor4 #a3 #ad-ag74 ,he had gone about for three years1 teaching the ,ephesian ,christians1 even with tears1 and he called them to witness1 not that he had administered the sacraments1 and done priestly work among them1 but that he had ceased not to teach1 and to preach1 'repentance toward ,god and faith toward our ,lord ,jesus ,christ' 7,acts #bj3ba74 ,my two ,high ,church friends were not convinced1 though they could not answer me4 ,it was a question in their minds who was right1 ,dr4 ,pusey1 or this ,fanatical ,revivalist4 ,come1 ,i said1 there is your man-servant outside in the garden2 he was converted two weeks ago2 and though he cannot read1 ,i feel sure he knows more about this than the author of that learned sermon4 ,let us call him in and read a few pages4 ,we did1 and told him to sit down while we read a little while4 ,the rector began1 and1 as he went on1 ,sam's face lit up with joy1 until the rector came to the sacramental passages2 than any one could see ,sam's interest was gone4 ,he became very restless1 and at last interrupting1 said1 respectfully1 ,if you please1 sir1 is there much more of that8 ,why1 ,sam1 said his master1 don't you like it8 ,no1 sir1 he said2 that man ain't converted at all6 ,well1 that is strange1 said the rector2 ,i saw his interest went off just at the very point where you took exception to the sermon4 ,you and ,sam under stand something that ,i do not know4 ,thus our sermon-reading concluded1 and1 besides this1 my witness had given his testimony4 ,i had stayed already two hours longer than ,i intended1 and was tired of talking4 ,the rector asked me to remain1 and dine with him1 and promised that he would send me to church in the evening in time for the service4 ,i agreed to this2 so he kindly took me upstairs to wash and rest4 ,coming into the room with me1 he shut the door1 and said in confidence1 ,i know you are right2 my mother taught me all this when ,i was young6 ,then1 ,i said1 we had better kneel down and pray about it4 ,we did so4 ,in his prayer he entreated very earnestly that the scales might fall from his eyes1 and that these truths which he loved when he was young might be brought to him again4 ,he was only praying for truth1 and not for pardon and salvation2 so ,i pointed this out to him4 ,yes--yes1 he said2 ,lord1 save me6 ,lord1 save me6 ,pardon me6 ,i believe he found peace before he came down2 but it is more difficult to pronounce in the case of educated1 than in that of uneducated people4 ,in the latter1 the transition from darkness to light and life is often very manifest2 whereas in the case of the educated1 the effect is not so clear4 ,however1 he came down to dinner1 and it was not long before he roused the anger and contempt of his wife and curate1 by saying1 ,i am converted4 ,they tried hard to laugh him out of it1 and asked him which of the chapels he would join8 ,they suggested he had better be a ,bryanite2 ,mr4 ,haslam is king of the ,bryanires2 and so on6 ,i was happy to hear all this1 and could not help telling them so3 first1 because the rector was counted worthy of such taunts2 and1 secondly1 because their natural enmity was raised4 ,i said that ,i hoped they would both be converted also1 and that very soon4 ,when ,i was leaving for my service1 the rector1 in bidding me good-bye1 said1 that he was sorry he could not go with me2 but would ,i come and preach in his pulpit on ,sunday8 ,i promised that ,i would4 ,on the way1 ,sam1 who was driving me to church1 became much excited1 and seemed beside himself for joy4 ,putting up his arms all of a sudden1 with reins and whip in either hand1 in the act of praising ,god1 he frightened the horse1 so that it ran away at full speed4 ,oh1 never mind---never mind6 he said1 don't be frightened6 ,no doubt the old devil 'ud like to upset both on us2 but ,i am sure the dear ,lord will take care of us1 don't fear4 ,certainly there was need1 for the horse went headlong down a long narrow hill1 and if anything else had been on the road1 we must have come into disastrous collision4 ,we were1 however1 carried safely down1 and reached the church in good time4 ,sam's joy1 ,i need scarcely say1 was all about the master's conversion1 and the fact that ,i was to preach in their church on ,sunday--two circumstances he did not fail to announce to every one he met4 ,he put up his horse1 and stayed for the service4 ,in the after-meeting1 when he prayed1 he sent up his prayer with a thanksgiving for these two things1 which set the congregation praising ,god also4 ,thus the revival1 which began on one side of the river1 passed over to the other1 and brought out people from another town1 and also villages beyond4 ,there was a great awakening in that part of the country4 ,the curate found peace on the ,sunday1 and many more2 but not the rector's wife4 ,she continued her opposition most vigorously4 ,the wisdom of the serpent is seen in capturing the wife first2 but still ,i am sure in this case that the serpent's wisdom was outwisdomed1 for her persecution made her husband pray and work all the more earnestly4 ,people in these days did not regard missions so complacently as they do now4 ,the very idea of preaching night after night1 not for some ,missionary ,society1 or for collections1 but simply for the conversion of souls and the salvation of sinners1 seemed to cast a slur upon ordinary preachers1 as if they did not aim at such a thing2 and upon people generally1 as if we meant to imply that they needed it4 ,most certainly they did4 ,i believe ordinary preachers in the churches of that neighbourhood did not expect conversions2 and most of the people were unconverted4 ,i could not help telling them so1 which only roused their wrath so much the more4 ,from this place ,i returned home2 for my prolonged absence1 ,i found1 was likely to bring me into trouble4 ,other clergymen might go away for months1 travelling or salmon fishing2 but if ,i was absent for a few weeks1 ,i was supposed to be neglecting my parish4 ,on my return1 ,i had much to tell1 and did not expect to be invited out again in a hurry2 for very few clergymen would willingly desire to be drawn into such a whirlwind of storm and trouble1 as my visits usually involved4 ,,chapter #bc ,a ,mission in ,staffordshire1 #ahed4 ,,the work at ,baldhu1 which had been going on almost incessantly for three years1 was now beginning to flag2 that is to say1 there was not that ardent and eager attendance at the services and meetings1 to which we had been accustomed in the revival time4 ,we had had occasional lulls like this before1 but they did not last more than a few weeks2 and then the swallows returned1 and the bright hot summer of work came again with its loud songs and pleasant fruits4 ,this dullness was continuing longer than usual2 the crowded congregations were falling off2 strangers did not come from a distance2 the people at home were not so lively4 ,however1 the classes were continued1 as also the services at the church1 and the number of communicants did not decrease4 ,still any one could see that the revival was over4 ,it was rather discouraging to me1 and a cause of triumph to some outsiders2 but we were occasionally cheered by work amongst visitors1 and with sick-bed cases4 ,the majority of the people were complacently waiting for another tide of revival2 this was their custom1 but it sat very uneasily upon me4 ,i did not like it1 nor agree to it2 but at that time ,i knew not what else to do1 but wait as others did4 ,i said that we looked like vessels which had come so far up the river with the tide2 and now that it had turned we were stranded and fast in the mud4 ,sometimes ,i changed the figure to one not so ignoble1 and likened ourselves to the stately vessels anchored in ,falmouth harbour1 which were there because the wind was contrary4 ,we were wind-bound too1 and dependent on circumstances2 but my idea of true religion was that we ought not to be like this4 ,i rather took for our type the great steamers which are propelled by powerful engines1 and come in and go out1 and proceed on their voyage without regard to wind or tide4 ,we ought to be constrained ,i said1 from within by the love of ,god and thus be enabled to show the power of grace by riding over all obstacles and triumphing in the midst of discouragements4 ,he giveth songs in the night4 ,any bird can sing in the sunshine4 ,the self-restraint and self-control ,i had exercised in my churchy days1 and which ,i supposed was derived from sacraments1 ,i found wanting in my new work4 ,we required something with authority1 such as church and priest supply4 ,i could not1 however1 conscientiously go back to that legal system1 nor did ,i think there was any need1 for ,i was sure there was something somewhere1 to be had1 which should and would supply our want1 if ,i could but discover it4 ,it appeared to me that my people1 without this1 were subject to impulse1 and consequently in bondage to their feelings4 ,in this time of lull ,i found that the steadfastness of some was shaken2 but ,i had known others1 who had gone further back than these1 return at a revival time with new vigour4 ,in this way1 some of the ,cornish people professed to be converted scores of times4 ,while ruminating on these things and praying over them1 ,i was surprised by receiving a letter pressing me very much to come at once and preach in a parish in ,staffordshire1 near ,birmingham4 ,mr4 ,aitken had been on a mission in the north1 and on his return had stopped a night at this place1 and preached one of his alarming and awakening sermons4 ,the effect was so great that the people1 together with their clergyman 7a curate in sole charge7 were in much trouble and anxiety about their souls2 there was a gloom hanging over them1 as if they had been sentenced to some dreadful doom1 and did not know what to do1 or how to avert it4 ,it is a good thing to wound1 but it should be with the object of making whole2 it is a blessed thing to show sinners their lost condition1 but only for the purpose of getting them to lay hold of the great salvation which is provided for such4 ,in his perplexity the curate went to see the ,bishop 7,lonsdale7 of ,lichfield4 ,when his lordship had ascertained the cause of the trouble1 he took up a pamphlet which was lying on the table1 and said1 ,if you cannot get ,mr4 ,aitken back1 send for this gentleman1 and pay his expenses4 ,this gentleman1 meant the author of the pamphlet1 which his lordship held in his hand1 namely1 myself2 his name and address are here4 said the ,bishop2 take the book and read it carefully2 he seems to have both knowledge and experience in such matters4 ,i was written to forthwith1 and the letter urged me to come at once4 ,in compliance1 ,i started off that night1 and reaching the place on ,saturday afternoon1 opened a mission the same evening without further notice4 ,on ,sunday ,i preached three times1 and went to the school-room for the after-meeting4 ,there we had a scene which1 for noise and confusion was quite ,cornish4 ,men and women cried aloud for mercy1 while some believers who were there shouted for joy4 ,the curate in charge was completely bewildered1 but felt he could do nothing2 and seeing1 as he remarked1 that ,i appeared to understand it and know what ,i was about1 he thought he had better remain still1 till the noisy meeting was over4 ,that same night1 before he retired1 he gave his heart to ,god4 ,the work went on in this place with the force as of an explosion2 just as if hungry desires had been pent up a long time1 and now they had vent and opportunity to be satisfied4 ,the church was crowded3 every day1 even in the week2 and we were kept in the schoolroom night after night till twelve and one o'clock4 ,the town was a dark1 smoky1 sulphury place1 and the air filled with exhalations and iron filings from the various works4 ,it was a dreadful atmosphere1 and everything was black and dirty2 the red fires from the furnaces around glared all night long and presented an awful appearance4 ,to come from the pure air and beautiful scenery of ,cornwall into such a place as this1 was most trying and uncomfortable2 but the reward was great4 ,the work was deeply interesting1 and scores of men and women of all classes1 besides five clergymen1 professed to be converted that week4 ,the devil did not leave us alone2 he was very angry1 and raised up a great opposition4 ,the rector of the old church1 who used to be most benevolent and smiling1 suddenly changed1 and made it his business to call on the curate in charge of the church1 to tell him that he was quite sure that his friend the vicar 7who was away at the time in ill health7 would never have sanctioned this excitement4 ,the curate said that the ,bishop had bid him invite ,mr4 ,haslam1 and that he had done so1 not knowing anything further about me or my work4 ,the rector went off to write to the ,bishop forthwith1 and in the meantime ordered bills to be posted all over the town1 warning people against the ,cornish fanaticism at ,st4 ,james's1 which1 of course1 had the effect of drawing out a greater concourse of people4 ,what with excessive work and bad air1 by ,friday evening ,i was quite exhausted4 ,i came out of the pulpit to the vestry1 and remembering that ,cornish miners1 in order to recover themselves after climbing ladders1 often found it necessary to lie down flat on the ground1 ,i thought ,i would try the same plan for a few moments while the people were going out to the schoolroom4 ,i did so2 and while ,i was in this position a clergyman came in and asked me if ,i was ill4 ,no1 ,i said1 ,i am only resting for a short time4 ,very well1 he said1 rest on2 but listen to me4 ,the ,bishop has sent me here to see and hear you1 and this is my report to his lordship4 ,opening out a paper he held in his hand1 he read3 ,st4 ,james's crammed to excess with a most orderly and devotional congregation2 their attention to the sermon marked and riveted2 sermon from ,st4 ,luke xv1 verse #b1 ',this ,man receiveth sinners1 and eateth with them4' ,the exposition of chapter most vivid and instructive2 never heard better1 or so good2 the application fervent and pointed2 altogether1 most edifying service4 ,there1 that is my report1 so you need not be afraid of anything you hear4 ,i will tell the ,bishop all about it4 ,thank you very much for what ,i have heard4 ,god bless you4 ,good-night6 ,oh1 ,i said1 springing up from the ground1 do not go yet6 the best part is to come4 ,you have only seen me let down the nets2 come now and see them pulled up4 ,what is that8 he said1 ,where am ,i to come8 ,to the schoolroom1 ,i replied1 divesting myself of my gown and bands1 and putting on my coat with all haste4 ,come with me6 ,he seemed a little afraid1 and asked many questions4 ,when we reached the place we could scarcely get in1 and the noise certainly was tremendous4 ,what is all this confusion about8 he asked4 ,i think ,i had better not go in to-night4 ,oh1 come in1 come in6 ,i said2 do not fear4 ,but somehow he slipped off in the dark1 and ,i did not see him again4 ,when ,i entered1 almost the first thing ,i noticed was the two curates of the parish church1 taking notes4 ,however1 ,i did not heed them1 or ask to see what they had written2 for ,i would always rather have real work1 though with a noise1 than orderly1 respectable stillness1 and spiritual death4 ,on ,saturday ,i rested1 but was very unwell all day1 and did not know how ,i should be able to work on ,sunday4 ,when the morning arrived1 my strength and voice were gone2 it was impossible to preach4 ,the people met together and had a prayer meeting before the service1 asking the ,lord to restore me4 ,the curate was so much cheered1 that he came to me and said1 ,if you only get up and try1 we feel sure you will be able to preach4 ,i got up1 but had to go to bed again1 for ,i was very ill4 ,just before eleven o'clock a visitor arrived1 a very queer-looking little man1 in a black suit of ,quaker cut1 and a college cap without a tassel1 with the corners of the square board rounded off4 ,standing by my bed-side in this costume1 he said that he was a convert of ,mr4 ,aitken's1 and had come all the way from ,birmingham to hear me4 ,moreover1 he said1 ,i am a herbal doctor4 ,please let me feel your pulse4 ,he did so1 and looking grave1 sounded my lungs1 put his ear to my chest and then asked1 ,what is the matter with your left lung8 ,i replied1 ,i don't know4 ,three doctors told me1 more than fourteen years ago1 that it was all gone4 ,well1 he said1 you stay quietly in bed till ,i come again at half-past eleven4 ,when he returned1 he bade me get up and dress1 and then gave me a cupful of something very hot with cayenne1 at the same time telling me that ,i should be quite strong enough to preach by twelve o'clock4 ,so ,i was4 ,i preached that morning1 and again in the afternoon2 after that ,i went to bed till six o'clock1 when ,i took another dose1 and in the strength of it preached a long1 loud sermon to a crowded congregation2 after which ,i attended the after-meeting1 and was there till twelve o'clock at night4 ,i then set off to the station1 accompanied by at least two hundred people1 and left by the one o'clock train for ,birmingham1 to the house of my new friend the herbal doctor4 ,he nursed me like a mother1 and let me go on my way home to ,cornwall the next day4 ,i never heard any more of the rector of the parish1 or of the ,bishop1 but was frequently cheered by letters saying that the work thus begun was going on week after week in the same place4 ,some years after1 when ,i was passing1 ,i stopped there for a few days1 and gave them a lift1 as they called it2 and ,i then saw with half a glance that they had become practised workers--that both clergymen and people were fitted to missionize the whole country side4 ,one's great object in this mission work is not only to save souls1 but to encourage believers to do their part2 that so the effect of a mission may be continued and extended4 ,god has a twofold blessing for us4 ,he says ,i will bless thee and make thee a blessing2 and it is well to remember that the benefits we receive are not so much to be kept for self1 as to be imparted and transmitted to others1 even as they were transmitted to us4 ,,chapter #bd ,sanctification4 ,then ,i returned from the far-off mission in ,staffordshire1 whether from over fatigue or other causes1 ,i was much depressed in mind as well as body1 and quite out of heart with the ,church of ,england4 ,it is true ,i found the converted people in ,staffordshire were not so leavened with ,dissent as in ,cornwall1 and that there was some attachment to the ,church2 but still ,i could see that ,churchmen there1 as elsewhere1 distrusted spirituality1 and preferred to work on their own ecclesiastical or sacramental lines2 they chose to draw water to quench their thirst1 rather than to ask1 and receive 7directly from ,christ7 the living water4 ,if a bishop accidentally invited me1 of if a clergyman cordially did so1 they were marked exceptions4 ,i felt myself to be obnoxious to the majority of my clerical brethren who professed to represent the ,church2 but somehow1 ,i was convinced that1 as a converted clergyman1 ,i represented the ,church of ,england more truly than they1 and that the principles of the ,reformation were the principles ,i was working upon4 ,this was trial from outside1 which1 however trying to flesh and blood1 is by no means so bad as misgiving from within4 ,i was discouraged also about the work in which ,i had been engaged2 for there was evidently an imperfection about it4 ,i observed that some people over whom ,i rejoiced as converted1 went back to their former worldliness1 which perplexed and troubled me more than ,i can describe4 ,i knew from my own experience that conversion was necessary to salvation and a new life2 but when people professed to be saved1 and did not live a new life1 ,i was sure there was something wrong4 ,my dear friend1 ,mr4 ,aitken1 said1 ,my brother1 this work is the ,lord's2 you must go to ,him and ask what is wrong4 ,lie on your face before ,him till ,he shows you ,his will about the matter6 ,this ,i did2 for1 shutting myself up in the church1 ,i cried to the ,lord till ,i felt that an answer would come in due time4 ,soon after1 ,i was led to preach from the text1 ,through this ,man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins2 and by ,him all that believe are justified from all things 7,acts #ac3ch1 #ci74 ,this opened my eyes to see that the proclamation was twofold-that through ,christ ,jesus1 pardon was offered to any and every sinner as such1 and moreover1 that by the same ,christ ,jesus1 every believer--that is1 every one who had received the forgiveness of his sins--was justified from all things4 ,those who know how old familiar texts flash upon the mind with new meaning1 will understand my surprise4 ,god was speaking to me in answer to my inquiry4 ,i had been preaching forgiveness and salvation through the blood-shedding and death of ,christ2 and confining myself to this1 as if salvation were all4 ,i now saw that ,i had not preached about ,justification to believers1 as fully as ,i had dwelt on the subject of pardon to sinners2 indeed1 that ,i had preached to believers the same ,gospel which ,i preached to them before they were converted2 that is1 that ,christ died for their sins1 but not the yea rather1 that is risen again4 ,no wonder they did not stand1 if their standing-place before ,god their ,father was not simply and plainly put before them4 ,believers having been brought from death unto life1 from the cross to the resurrection-side of ,christ's grave1 should be led to the ,throne of ,grace1 where ,christ sits at the right hand of ,god1 making intercession for them4 ,once enlightened on the subject1 it was easy to see that this truth was set forth all through the ,bible4 ,for instance1 when the prodigal son received pardon1 immediately his father called the servants and said unto them1 ,bring forth the best robe and put it on him1 and put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet4 ,here1 besides pardon1 is standing--union--strength2 and over and beyond these1 the feast of rejoicing4 ,when the children of ,israel were brought out of ,egypt1 it was not that they should escape from bondage only1 but that they should be led1 and even carried1 by ,god through the wilderness4 ,moses illustrated this in a simple yet comprehensive figure1 when he wrote1 ,as an eagle stirreth up her nest1 fluttereth over her young1 spreadeth abroad her wings1 taketh them1 beareth them on her wings3 so the ,lord alone did lead him1 and there was no strange god with him 7,deut4 #cb3aa1 #ab74 ,the thousands who perished in the wilderness were persons of whom it may be said that they professed to come up out of ,egypt1 and did so in act2 but ,god1 who looks upon the heart1 saw that they were still lingering in that place2 for when they were in trouble1 they said1 ,would ,god that we had died in the land of ,egypt6 or would ,god we had died in the wilderness6 ,let us make a captain1 and let us return into ,egypt 7,num4 #ad3b-d74 ,this is one secret of the going back which ,i have noticed4 ,people came out as converted1 whose hearts were still entangled in the things of this world1 or in some besetments with which they were fettered4 ,those who are really converted should come out1 as ,caleb and ,joshua did4 ,they left ,egypt behind them altogether1 and finally1 in their trials and troubles in the wilderness1 they looked for deliverance1 not in going back1 but in going forward1 assured that if lions were before1 there were dragons behind4 ,another lesson which we may learn from these two1 is1 that they compared difficulties and giants1 not with themselves1 but with the ,lord4 ,it was true that they were not able to conquer their enemies or take their cities1 but1 as they said1 the ,lord is able to give us the victory4 ,in this ,i saw how ,joshua trusted ,god1 also how ,god wrought a great deliverance4 ,i urged the people to consider that we were not created and redeemed to be saved1 but saved to glorify ,god in our lives2 but ,i grieve to say1 this teaching did not meet with the acceptance ,i hoped for4 ,i wondered at their slowness of heart to believe in the risen ,christ1 and was sure that this was reason enough for their instability2 and ,i felt that there would be nothing else while they continued to receive only a part of the ,gospel instead of the whole4 ,one thing leads to another4 ,while ,i was thus making discoveries1 my attention was drawn to a hymn which spoke of ,jordan's stream1 and death's cold flood1 as if they were the same thing4 ,now1 ,i had always regarded ,jordan as death2 but the question in my mind was--,what is all that fighting and conquering in the land of ,canaan1 if ,canaan represents heaven8 ,i observed1 moreover1 that the ,israelites were on the defensive in the wilderness1 and on the aggressive on the other side of ,jordan2 that they were led by the cloud on the one1 and by a living ,person on the other2 that they were daily sustained with manna1 as children1 on the one side1 and ate the old corn of the land1 as men of ,israel1 on the other1 besides sowing and reaping for themselves4 ,these striking' marks of contrast excited much inquiry1 and not obtaining1 with sufficient definiteness1 the satisfaction ,i sought1 ,i went to the ,lord about this1 as before4 ,i confessed my shortcomings1 and the defectiveness of my teaching1 and pleaded earnestly1 ,lord1 what wouldst ,thou have me to do8 ,what ,i know not1 teach ,thou me6 ,then ,i was brought into the deepest distress and perplexity of soul1 to think that after my experience of conversion1 and all ,i had done for the conversion of others1 ,i was still such a vile1 self-condemned sinner4 ,i even began to think that ,i had never been converted2 it appeared to me that my whole life was nothing but intense selfishness2 that ,i availed myself of the blood of ,christ for my salvation and happiness1 and led others to do the same1 rejoicing with them in thus making use of ,god for the purpose of getting quit of hell and gaining heaven4 ,it was a clear case of making ,god serve me1 instead of my serving ,him4 ,many other things came to my mind1 by which ,i knew there was an immense gap between my experience and the ,word of ,god4 ,i can see it all now2 but at the time it was very dark and grievous4 ,when ,i had been under conviction before1 at the time of my conversion1 it was1 as it were1 with my eyes shut2 but now they were open3 then ,i saw my sins1 and the penalty which was due to them2 now ,i saw my unrighteousness1 and the corruption of my nature4 ,i felt as if ,i were two persons1 and that there was a law in my members warring against the law of my mind1 the flesh contending against the ,spirit4 ,o wretched man that ,i am6 who shall deliver me from the body of this death8 ,for a whole week ,i was in great distress of mind1 especially during the last three days4 ,on ,sunday morning1 as ,i was going to the early ,communion1 my soul was set at liberty4 ,i felt as if a great cloud was lifted up2 the light shone into my soul2 and ,i had deliverance4 ,i was exceedingly happy in the knowledge that the risen ,christ ,himself was my help---that ,he who had hidden ,his presence in a pillar of cloud and fire1 now was ,himself present in person1 my omnipotent ,friend and leader6 ,this was quite a new experience1 and one ,i had not known before4 ,i thought that ,i had not even heard or read of it1 and therefore began to suspect whether it was a temptation4 ,i determined to be wise1 and not commit myself too soon1 so made up my mind that ,i would not refer to it in the pulpit4 ,but at the close of the service a stranger came into the vestry to thank me for my sermon2 and when we were alone he put the question to me1 ,how long have you known ,sanctification8 ,i replied1 ,do ,i know it now8 ,yes1 he said1 you preached it experimentally this morning2 and ,i shall be very much surprised if you have not some inquiries on the subject before the day is out4 ,i felt reproved before this stranger's steady gaze1 and confessed that ,i had received the blessing that very morning2 but thinking that it might be a temptation1 ,i had determined to say nothing about it4 ,he said1 ,that was a temptation from the devil1 sure enough1 to hinder you2 for the ,lord spoke on this subject through your sermon as dearly as ever ,i have heard4 ,do not be afraid1 but go on and tell others4 ,so in the evening ,i preached on ,sanctification1 and we had an after-meeting in the schoolroom4 ,many believers stayed behind to ask questions upon the subject of my sermon4 ,i do not remember how ,i replied to them2 but imperfect as my statements must have been1 it nevertheless led others to desire to enter into the experience of this same blessing4 ,the following morning1 ,i happened to take up a tract by ,john ,fletcher1 of ,madeley1 in which ,i read1 that at a breakfast party on the occasion of a wedding1 to which he was invited1 just in the middle of idle and frivolous conversation which was going on1 he was constrained to rise up and say1 ,i have three times had an experience of joy and liberty1 which ,i believe to be ,sanctification1 and it has passed away2 now that it has returned again1 ,i take this opportunity to testify4 ,the company were all struck with amazement2 the power of ,god was present2 and the festive gathering was turned into a meeting for prayer and praise4 ,i took warning from this tract never to withhold my testimony on this subject4 ,soon after this1 ,i was holding an afternoon ,bible class in another part of the parish2 we were going through ,st4 ,luke's gospel1 and had come to the fifth chapter2 ,i said with reference to the miraculous draught of fishes1 that the fish had been swimming about in their native element in all quietness and freedom1 till they came in contact with a net1 and it came in contact with thorn4 ,observe1 ,i said1 three things3 #a4 ,they are caught in the net4 #b4 ,they are drawn out of their native element4 #c4 ,they are laid in the boat at the feet of ,christ4 ,so it is1 where people are caught in' the ,gospel net--this is conviction2 they are drawn out of the state in which they were--this is conversion2 but they are not yet in the state in which they should be1 this is why it is so hard to hold them3 they ought to be drawn to ,christ ,himself1 for this is the ultimate object of catching souls2 the one thing needful is to be brought to the feet of ,christ4 ,i intentionally abstained from using the word ,sanctification1 though ,i was endeavouring to typify the experience of it1 and to contrast it with conversion4 ,as ,i went on speaking1 a woman in the small assemble put up her hands and began to shout and praise ,god1 ,that is ,sanctification6 she cried2 ,i have it6 ,i know it6 ,praise the ,lord6 ,there was a great stir the class2 some cried1 and some asked questions4 ,one woman1 who was more advanced in general knowledge and experience than most of the others declared1 that she did not believe in ,sanctification1 for she had known so many who professed to have it1 and had lost it4 ,lost what8 ,i said1 you cannot lose an experience2 the joy of it may depart1 and certainly does where people rest on their feelings instead of the fact1 on the effect1 instead of the cause4 ,she confused the sanctification of the believer1 with the effect it produced on him4 ,the ,spirit which works sanctification in our souls can keep us in it1 if we continue to look to ,him1 instead of looking at ,his work1 ,i said to her1 what ,i have said ever since to all who are inclined to argue on the subject3 ,believers too often dispute about ,sanctification1 in the same manner as the unconverted do on the subject of ,justification4 ,it is not worth while for those who know1 to contend with those who only think4 ,i told her to go home and pray about it and ask the ,lord if ,he had anything more to give1 to let her have it4 ,she was sullen1 and hard to persuade2 but after a little more conversation and prayer1 she consented to lay aside her prejudice and do as ,i had told her4 ,she did so1 and came again the next morning to see me4 ,fortunately1 ,i was not in my house1 but shut up1 as my custom was in the church for meditation and prayer4 ,she followed me thither1 but being engaged with my ,master1 ,i answered no knocks or taps1 whether at the doors or windows2 even on this occasion ,i did not respond1 although ,i heard some one walking round and round the church and knocking impatiently for admittance4 ,when ,i came out1 ,i heard that ,hannah--had called and wished very much to see me2 for she wanted 7to use her own expression7 to hug the dear head of him1 if she could catch him4 ,she was happy beyond expression1 for she had had a dream2 and what is more she said that she had entered into the second blessing4 ,in her dream she saw a well of water as clear as crystal2 it was beautiful1 and the clean pebbles at the bottom quite glistened with brightness1 so that she could count them4 ,there1 there1 she said1 ,what does any one want clearer and cleaner than that8 ,as she looked into this clear well1 my voice said to her1 ,throw a pebble into it1 when she did so2 in an instant the water became thick and dirty4 ,ah1 said my voice again1 ,the water of grace is always clear as crystal1 but the well in which it is--that is your heart is most unclean4 ,the ,lord can give you a clean heart1 and renew a right spirit within you 7,ps4 #ea3aj74 ,she woke up from her sleep1 and immediately began to pray1 asking the ,lord for a clean heart1 until she obtained it4 ,some may say1 ,but what did she obtain8 ,this question is seldom if ever asked by persons who know the experience of this blessing2 but to those who do not1 it is very difficult to convey an idea of what it is by definitions4 ,let it be enough to understand that there is something desirable to be had1 which may be obtained by doing as the woman did4 ,as in water face answereth to face1 so the heart of man to man 7,prov4 #bg3ai74 ,those who know it1 understand one another and rejoice together4 ,there is no such mutual sympathy and joy as that which brethren have who are partakers of this higher blessing4 ,after this1 ,hannah became a restful1 peaceful soul2 and many others1 with her1 found that quiet confidence which can only belong to those who can and do trust a risen and living ,christ4 ,it was quite a new era in the work1 and called out fresh energies2 but like every new thing1 it absorbed too much attention1 to the exclusion of the simple ,gospel for the unsaved4 ,christ died for our sins1 is only part of the ,gospel1 though a very important part4 ,christ rose again the third day according to the ,scriptures 7#a ,cor4 #ae3c1 #d71 is also a part1 which should not be omitted in its due time and place4 ,these two important truths1 ,i am sure1 are needful for scriptural work1 and they should both be systematically preached4 ,,chapter #be ,the ,removal1 #ahee4 ,when ,i was on the eve of leaving ,perranzabuloe1 and before ,i knew that ,i was to go1 ,i felt there was a gulf between the people and myself4 ,whatever else they held they were quite ignorant of ecclesiastical antiquities1 ,church history1 and ,catholic truth2 what is more1 they were unwilling to learn about such matters4 ,now ,i began to feel that another gulf was opening between my present people and myself4 ,it was not as before1 about ecclesiastical things2 but on another score altogether4 ,i wanted them to believe in a living ,saviour3 they were trying to content themselves with salvation instead4 ,i wanted them to trust the ,giver3 they preferred to rejoice in the gift4 ,i longed to lead them on to trust ,christ as the object of faith1 and from this to go on to devote themselves to ,his service1 for very love of ,him--to be loosed from the present world1 by the hope of the ,lord's coming4 ,i could not get the people to receive this teaching1 though it was ,god's truth1 and could be verified by the ,word4 ,i confess that this threefold truth was not so satisfying to my own soul as ,i expected it would be4 ,i remembered that ,i had not learned it from men or books1 but experimentally1 by ,god's teaching1 in answer to prayer4 ,i could not imagine what was wanting1 and did not discover1 for several years after1 that the mere knowledge of a truth by itself1 even though it is about ,christ1 cannot deliver4 ,it is not the truth of ,christ that delivers1 but the ,christ of the truth4 ,in itself1 it is but an instrument in the hand of the ,spirit2 and our expectation should be not from it1 but from the ,divine ,person1 whose it is4 ,i have found that the power is ,christ ,himself2 that where ,he is really the object of faith1 ,he keeps the believer in peace2 and that if there is no peace1 it is only because there is a deficiency of trust3 that ,he1 as the object of love1 constrains us to work for ,his ,father's glory2 and that ,he1 as the object of hope1 can and does separate us from the world and its entanglements1 by drawing our affections to things above and beyond the present4 ,not having discovered this simple yet important truth1 ,i was restless2 and from ,god's ,word came down to read the words' and thoughts of men4 ,i fell in with the ,life of ,madame ,guyon4 ,here ,i found much sympathy1 but somehow not that peace ,i was looking for4 ,then ,i read the writings of the ,port ,royal school1 the ,jansenists1 ,butler's ,lives of the ,saints1 and other such books4 ,these diverted my mind1 employed and interested it2 but ,i cannot say they satisfied me4 ,i was craving for something which ,i had not found yet1 and had to wait three years or more before ,i did so4 ,about this time ,i was invited to go to a parish in ,plymouth1 to a church where sacramental teaching was the rule4 ,the incumbent was evidently as much dissatisfied with the state of his congregation as ,i was with mine4 ,he wanted something new1 and ,i thought ,i did likewise4 ,accordingly ,i went and preached in his pulpit1 and the word spoken produced a marked sensation4 ,my sermon brought to the vicar's mind many truths he had heard and loved in early days1 and for this reason he urged me to stay and preach again4 ,then1 to my surprise4 ,he invited me to leave ,cornwall and come to ,plymouth4 in order to take a district in his parish1 that ,i might help him occasionally in his church4 ,this was altogether such an unsought-for thing1 and so unexpected1 that ,i took time to consider4 ,the next day ,i told him that ,i could not entertain his proposition1 and that for three reasons3-- #a4 ,i said1 ,i am sure that the ,bishop would not consent4 #b4 ,i have a debt laid on me by my patron for nearly #c1jjj l41 which ,i spent in building the church for him4 #c4 ,i am responsible for a debt of #cjj l4 as security4 ,he still urged it1 and said he would go and see the ,bishop1 and speak with him on the subject4 ,in his zeal he set off that very morning4 ,the ,bishop at first said flatly1 ,no2 and then1 upon further inquiry1 recalled the word1 and said1 ,you may try it if you will4 ,he returned in the evening with this information1 which surprised me greatly4 ,but what made me wonder still more1 was the receipt of two letters the next morning by the same post--one from ,london and the other from ,paris1 releasing me from the responsibility of the two debts2 and this without any request on my part4 ,the three difficulties1 which were like mountains before me only three days before1 were now removed4 ,i did not know what to say1 and therefore determined1 in all haste1 to go home and consider the step4 ,when ,i had related these astonishing circumstances to my dear wife1 we agreed to go together to consult with ,mr4 ,aitken4 ,on arriving ,i said to him1 ,you must please to sit still and hear all before you speak4 ,then ,i told him of the invitation to go to ,plymouth1 the result of the preaching1 the unexpected proposal to remove thither1 the ,bishop's answer1 and the remission of the #c1cjj l4 ,now1 ,i continued1 what do you say8 ,you must go1 my brother1 he replied2 for you will never make ,catholics of the ,cornish people3 the ,methodist mind is far too deeply rooted in them4 ,our friend's decision was firm2 and so there remained nothing for us to do but to follow it4 ,the novelty of the proposition1 and the surprising circumstances connected with it were exciting1 and took away our thoughts for the time from the place which was to be left4 ,when the decision was given and accepted1 then ,baldhu seemed to lift up its voice1 and urge its claims4 ,certainly it was a strong tie which bound us to this place2 but nevertheless1 on our return home1 ,i wrote to the ,bishop1 and' proposed to resign my present incumbency1 in order that ,i might take a district in ,plymouth4 ,he replied in due course1 that he would accept my resignation4 ,after ,i was thus pledged1 my wife's mind veered from her consent to go2 and ,mr4 ,aitken changed his tone also1 and said that the text had come to him1 ,cast thyself down1 and that ,i was tempting ,god4 ,yet all the steps ,i had taken had been in prayer1 and had been taken very reluctantly1 for ,i was much attached to ,baldhu4 ,for nearly three months ,i was torn with distractions2 sometimes hope lifted up the mist from the horizon1 and then let it down again4 ,i did not know what to do2 the work at home had come to a stand2 but there was one thing1 my successor was not yet appointed1 nor had ,i signed my resignation2 therefore every now and then the thought came over me1 that ,i would stay4 ,then a letter came from ,plymouth1 urging me to come away at once1 for the iron was hot for striking4 ,sometimes people came in and said1 ,you had better go2 then others would come in and say1 ,you will do no good if you do go4 ,it was desolating1 as well as distracting beyond description4 ,i had a family of six children and three servants2 it was a great expense to move there2 and yet1 if ,god was calling1 it was quite as easy for ,him to move eleven people as one2 and ,i had ten claims upon ,him4 ,at last1 suspense was over2 my successor was appointed1 and the day fixed for our going4 ,i signed my resignation1 having to pay four pounds ten shillings for it2 then1 suspense was changed into unmitigated sorrow4 ,i had designed and built that church and house1 and had seen them rise2 had made the garden1 and had had many happy and wonderful days in this place4 ,i found it had taken a deep root in my heart1 and therefore it was like tearing one up altogether to go away4 ,but it was done now1 and the friends who had advised me not to resign1 seemed to have their triumph2 and those who advised to go1 were discouraged and grieved at my sorrowful state4 ,my dear wife cheered up when she saw me down1 and rose to the occasion2 she began to pack up as if delighted at going1 and went about everything most cheerfully4 ,i told the people that ,i could not bear a leave-taking1 but there would be a service in the church1 and ,holy ,communion1 at seven o'clock on the morning we were to leave4 ,many came1 but the majority could not sum up the courage to do so4 ,i put my resignation on the offertory plate1 and gave it to ,god with many tears4 ,a kind neighbour came to officiate for me1 so that ,i did not take any part in the service1 being exceedingly dejected and overwhelmed with sorrow4 ,it was chiefly for fear1 lest ,i was doing that which ,god would not have me do1 and taking my family out from a comfortable home1 ,i knew not whither1 or to what discomforts4 ,one thing ,i certainly saw plainly enough1 that my affections were too deeply rooted in earthly things4 ,i had no idea till then1 that that place of my own creation had taken such a hold upon me4 ,it was well to be loose from that1 and free for my ,master's service4 ,after breakfast we left the old place2 many people stood weeping by the roadsides2 some ventured to speak1 and others only thrust their hands into the carriage windows for a hearty grasp1 without saying a word4 ,it was indeed a sorrowful day1 the remembrance of which even now makes my heart sink1 though it is more than twenty-five years since4 ,in the evening we arrived at the house of some friends1 who had kindly invited us to break our journey1 and remain the night with them2 and in the morning we proceeded on our way to ,plymouth4 ,when we reached the house1 we found our furniture unpacked1 and distributed in the various rooms1 and the table spread ready for us to take some refreshment4 ,the word ,welcome was done in flowers over the door1 besides many other demonstrations of kindness2 but ,i am afraid we were all too sorrowful at the time to show our appreciation of1 or to enjoy them4 ,we never settled in that house1 and did not care to unpack anything more than necessary1 or hang up the pictures or texts4 ,my work did not prosper here1 for ,i found ,i was unequally yoked with strangers1 and accordingly felt dry and wretched4 ,i sent my resignation of ,baldhu to ,bishop ,phillpotts1 and with it my nomination and other necessary papers1 saying that ,i would wait on his lordship for institution on a certain day4 ,at the appointed time ,i went to him1 when to my great surprise1 he very calmly said he could not appoint me to that district4 ,i could not understand this1 for as ,i had told him1 ,i had only resigned conditionally1 and reminded him that ,i had asked his permission to resign1 for the purpose of taking this district4 ,how can ,i consciously appoint or license you to anything in my diocese8 he said1 looking me full in the face1 and then in his courteous way he laid his commands on me to stay to luncheon1 saying he would be obliged if ,i would do him this honour2 he bade me walk in the garden1 as he was busy1 and would be occupied till luncheon4 ,i felt that ,i needed a little quiet and fresh air to get over this climax of my troubles--out of one living1 and not into another2 and that with a wife1 six children1 and three servants1 with very little to live on4 ,here was a state of things6 ,i had plenty to occupy my thoughts and prayers4 ,i feared and mourned1 above everything1 lest ,god should be angry with me4 ,oh1 if ,i could only know this is the will of ,god1 then ,i should not care a fig for all the bishops on the bench1 and would not ask one of them for anything6 ,i was soon roused from my reverie1 by the presence of ,miss ,c4 ,p41 the ,bishop's daughter1 who had come out at her father's request to show me the garden and the view4 ,i had known this lady slightly for several years1 and so she was not altogether a stranger to me1 or ,i to her4 ,she talked so cheerfully and pleasantly1 that it came to my mind1 ,perhaps after all1 the ,bishop is only trying me4 ,he will not appoint me to this bare district1 because he has something better with which he means to surprise me4 ,this sanguine thought cheered me up greatly4 ,at luncheon he was as kind and happy as if he had neither done anything dishonourable1 or had any intention of doing so2 so that ,i felt quite sure something good was coming4 ,i began to wonder at intervals1 ,what part of the diocese ,i was to be sent to8--,where is there a vacancy8 and so on4 ,the ,bishop was as friendly to me as he used to be in other days4 ,after the repast1 he summoned me to his study again4 ,now1 ,i thought1 ,i shall hear where ,i am to go2 but instead of this1 he said that he was much engaged1 and must take leave of me4 ,i was more than astonished at this1 and said1 ,i can scarcely believe that you refuse to appoint me6 ,i do then1 most positively4 ,but ,i have a copy of my letter to your lordship1 and your answer4 ,then you may urge your claim by law1 if you please4 ,no1 indeed1 my lord1 ,i do not think ,i will do that4 ,and then1 after a short pause1 ,i said1 ,you have done for me what ,i could not dare do for myself1 though ,i have often been tempted to do it4 ,and pray1 what is that8 he inquired4 ,to give up parochial ministration1 that ,i may be free to preach wherever ,i am led4 ,could you do that8 ,i could not do it conscientiously myself2 but now that you have stripped me of harness1 ,i will put on no more4 ,the ,bishop made his bow1 and ,i made mine2 and that was the end of our interview4 ,in my unconverted days ,i used to be an ardent and enthusiastic admirer of this man2 his charges1 his speeches1 and especially his withering1 sarcastic letters to ,lord ,john ,russell and others1 who came under his tremendous lash1 to my mind made him a great hero4 ,his straight forward manner also commanded my respect1 for1 generally speaking1 ,i had found bishops very smooth and two-sided1 or rather both-sided2 but in his ease there was no mistake4 ,it used to be a proud time for me when this ,bishop came into ,cornwall1 and ,i was permitted to accompany him1 and to act as his chaplain at the consecration of a church or burial ground1 or to attend him when he went to a ,confirmation4 ,sometimes ,i had the happy privilege of rowing him in a boat on the sea4 ,he seemed to take such an affectionate and intelligent interest in my parish and my church work4 ,he asked various questions about my neighbours1 just as if he lived among them and knew all their circumstances4 ,he struck me as a wonderful man1 and ,i was his champion upon all occasions in my unconverted days4 ,notwithstanding this1 he was too honest to his own views to favour me after my conversion4 ,on my return home without a license1 ,i had but a poor account to give1 and the future prospect looked very gloomy4 ,,chapter #bf ,plymouth1 #ahee4 ,i occasionally preached in the parish church1 and went to the daily ,communion and the daily service4 ,my spare time ,i occupied 7it was like going back to brick-making in ,egypt7 in painting the church4 ,i laboured for hours and hours to try and make this great chalk-pit of a place look somewhat ecclesiastical4 ,all round the church ,i painted a diaper pattern1 surmounted with a border1 which went over the doors and under the windows4 ,then on the bare wall at the end ,i painted a life-sized figure of our ,lord1 as a ,shepherd leading ,his sheep1 taken from ,overbeck's picture4 ,this1 together with a few other pictures of ,christ1 warmed up the building very well4 ,then for the chancel ,i had a most elaborate design4 ,first1 there was a beautiful gilded pattern over the very lofty chancel arch1 which ,i managed to reach by means of a ladder4 ,professional people need scaffolding and platforms1 which ,i dispensed with1 and accomplished the whole space in less time than it would take to put up all their needful erections4 ,inside the chancel ,i had twelve niches1 with tabernacle work above them1 for the twelve apostles2 and these were all duly represented after a true mediaeval pattern4 ,the local newspaper made great fun of these paintings2 and the reporter would have it1 that these lively saints looked very conscious of being put up there1 and that they were constantly 'craning' their necks to look at one another--as if they would inquire1 ',i say1 how do you like being there8' ,my favourite figure1 ,st4 ,john1 upon which ,i bestowed extra pains1 the provoking man would have it1 was ,st4 ,mary ,magdalene1 leering at the apostle next to her1 or at the one opposite--it did not seem quite clear to him which2 but her head was down on one side in a bewitching attitude4 ,in the middle of the great undertaking ,i was called away for a few weeks4 ,during this time the reporter came again and again1 but saw no progress2 he therefore put an advertisement into his paper to this effect3-- ,stolen or strayed1 a monkish priest1 who paints apostles4 ,he is not to be found4 ,any person or persons who can give information concerning this absent personage1 will greatly oblige4 ,my preaching was not acceptable in this church1 neither was my connection with it2 and my apostles were no better appreciated1 for they were soon after whitewashed over1 and disappeared like a dream4 ,sometimes1 in damp weather1 they were still to be seen craning their necks as heretofore 7much to the amusement of the chorister boys7 though with a kind of veil upon them4 ,doubtless1 in a future generation1 when the plaster begins to blister1 some antiquarian will discover this wonderful mediaeval fresco1 and call the attention of the public to it4 ,my ideas and dreams about catholic advancement were thus brought to a calamitous end4 ,this church to which ,i had come was one in high credit for much private and public devotion2 but1 alas6 ,i found what ,i might easily have expected1 that without spiritual vitality everything must be dry and dead6 ,dry and dead indeed it was4 ,the conversation of these supposed ascetics was for the most part secular1 and at the highest only ecclesiastical4 ,their worship1 on which a great amount of pains and cost was bestowed1 was but a form carefully prepared and carefully executed1 as if critics were present2 yet it did not1 and could not1 rise to spirituality4 ,a lady presided at the organ1 and had the teaching and training of the choir4 ,much of her own personal and religious character were imparted to the performances1 which in tone and manner were admirable and precise4 ,she made the boys understand the sense of the words they sang1 till ,i have seen them even in tears during the singing4 ,the chaste old verger 7as our reporter called him71 who headed the procession at least four times a day1 up and down the church1 was a very important and successful part of the machinery1 and from him1 up to the highest official1 everything was carried out with exact precision4 ,but oh1 how unsatisfying and disappointing it was6--to a degree which ,i was ashamed to own6 ,how could ,i be so foolish1 to give up a living1 where there was vitality1 though it was rough1 for a superficial and artificial semblance of religion8 ,in the book of ,ecclesiastes we read1 that a living dog is better than a dead lion2 and though ,i had often quoted this saying1 ,i never felt the truth of it so deeply as now4 ,the dead lion and the dead elephant are quite immovable things for a live dog to bark at or fret about4 ,it was a hard and trying time to me in that place4 ,i could not see my way1 or understand at all what was the ,lord's will towards me4 ,while in this state of mind ,i had a vivid dream4 ,i thought that the ornamental iron grating1 which was for ventilating the space under the floor of the church1 was all glowing with fire1 as if a great furnace were raging there4 ,i tried to cry ,fire6 but could not4 ,then ,i ran into the church1 and saw it full of people reverently absorbed in their devotions4 ,i tried again to give the alarm1 and cry ,fire6 fire6 but ,i could not utter a sound4 ,when ,i looked up1 ,i saw thin1 long1 waving strings of fire coming up among the people through the joints of the floor4 ,i called attention to this1 but no one else could see it4 ,then ,i became frantic in my gesticulation1 and at last was able to tell some of the congregation of the great fire which was under them2 but they looked at one another1 smiling1 and told me to go about my business--that ,i was mad6 ,i woke out of my troubled sleep in a very agitated and perturbed state4 ,since that1 whenever ,i have seen or heard of churches1 where ,church and ,sacraments are preached1 instead of ,christ1 as the one way of salvation1 ,i long to warn the people of the fire raging underneath1 and to show them the way of the ,lord more perfectly4 ,one day1 when ,i was feeling more desponding and wretched than before1 a lady called1 and said she wanted to speak to me--would ,i come to her house for this purpose8 ,i went1 and she was not long before she opened the conversation by charging me with being uncharitable4 ,you say we are all unconverted4 ,i replied1 ,of course1 as children of ,adam we are1 till conversion takes place2 there can be no mistake about that6 ,but when did ,i say that you were unconverted8 ,is it not your own conscience that tells you that8 ,when we preach to people as unconverted1 those who are changed1 and brought from death into life1 know as well as possible that we do not mean them2 and they pray for a blessing on the ,word1 that it may reach others1 as it once reached them4 ,they do not sit there and resent the charge1 for they know what has passed between ,god and their souls1 and are anxious for others to share the same blessing4 ,she was silent2 so ,i continued1 ,may ,i ask you the question4 ,are you converted8 ,can you tell me that you are8 ,she replied1 ,i do not know what you mean4 ,well1 then1 why do you suppose that ,i mean something uncharitable or bad8 ,because ,i know very well it is not a good thing to be unconverted4 ,but1 she added1 it seems such an unkind thing to put us all down for 'lost1' while you suppose yourself to be saved4 ,you may know more about this some day1 perhaps2 but in the meantime will you allow me to ask you one thing3 ,do you believe in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ8 ,she replied indignantly1 ,of course ,i do4 ,now1 this is the very want of charity ,i complain of-the idea of asking me such a question6 ,she was one of the ,rev4 --'s1 7the confessor's7 favourite devotees1 and had been absolved by him for several years2 the very idea of asking her if she believed in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 made her quite impatient1 as well as indignant4' ,i said1 ,do not be angry with me1 but what do you believe about ,him8 ,believe everything1 of course6 ,i believe the creed4 ,yes1 ,i do not doubt that1 for a moment4 ,but do you believe that ,jesus died for you8 ,why1 yes1 certainly3 how could ,i do otherwise2 ,he died for us all4 ,that is not the point4 ,i mean1 do you believe that ,he died2 and that you have a personal interest in ,his death8 ,she hesitated1 and then looking at me said1 ,do you mean objectively1 or subjectively8 ,may ,i ask what ,i am to understand by these words8 ,dr4 -- taught me that1 ',christ died4' is objective1 and that ',christ died for me4' is subjective4 ,very good indeed1 ,i answered1 ,i like that very much2 it is quite true4 ,but it is one thing to know about subjective faith1 and quite another thing to have it4 ,now ,i will come back to my question4 ,do you believe that ,christ died for you8 ,you evidently mean something that ,i do not understand1 she said1 in a perplexed manner4 ,then looking at the crucifix on her table1 ,i said1 ,what does that remind you of8 ,oh1 ,i pray before that every day1 and ask the ,lord to take my sins away4 ,then you do not think your sins are forgiven yet4 ,how can you ask for forgiveness1 and have it at the same time8 ,do you mean to say then1 she replied1 with surprise1 that you have no sins8 ,yes1 ,i mean to say that my sins were atoned for1 once for all1 on the cross2 and that1 believing this1 ,i have peace and remission of sins4 ,my past sins are cast like a stone into the deep2 and as to my daily sins of omission and commission1 ,i do not take them to the cross like a ,romanist1 but to the throne of grace1 where the risen and living ,christ is now making intercession for me4 ,she was silent2 and so was ,i1 inwardly praying for her4 ,presently she looked up and said1 ,i do thank ,him for dying for me4 ,is that what you want me to say8 ,thanksgiving is an indication of living faith4 ,how can ,i believe that ,jesus died for me1 and not thank ,him8 ,but ,i do thank ,him1 and it is very uncharitable of you to say1 we do not thank ,him2 we all thank ,him6 ,she was gone again1 and ,i wondered whether ,i should ever bring her back6 ,you remind me1 ,i said1 of three ladies of good position1 whom ,i met last year4 ,they all professed to thank ,god for ,christ's death2 but yet they had no peace1 and were not satisfied4 ,seeing they were in real earnest1 ,i proposed to go over the ,general ,thanksgiving in the ,prayer-book with them4 ,they did so1 and thanked ,god for creation1 preservation1 and all the blessings of this life1 but above all--then as ,i emphasized this 'above all1' they said1 almost together1 ',that is where we are wrong4 ,we have not 'put the redeeming love of ,god as shown in ,christ's death1 above all4' ,these three ladies found peace and pardon that same evening4 ,that has been my mistake too1 said the lady1 interrupting me4 ,i have never put ,jesus above all2 but ,i do desire to do so1 and that with all my heart4 ,then do so1 ,i said1 and thank ,him for ,his love in dying in your stead1 and shedding ,his blood to wash your sins away4 ,he shall have all my heart6 she exclaimed4 ,so saying1 she knelt before the crucifix1 and bowing gracefully and most reverently1 she reproached herself for not putting ,jesus first1 and said1 ,thou art worthy6 ,glory be to ,thee1 for ,thy great love to me4 ,then she rose from her knees1 and once more tuning to me1 said1 ,thank you so much6 ,god bless you for your kindness and patience with me6 ,i cannot tell you how much ,i thank you4 ,do you remember once preaching about ,abraham offering up his son ,isaac8 ,you said1 ',god the ,father has done more than this for us2 and yet how few cry to ,him and say1 ,by this ,i know that ,thou lovest me6' ,i thought1 and felt then1 that you knew something which ,i should like to know2 and ,i have been longing to speak to you ever since4 ,oh1 ,i do thank you so much6 ,dear friend1 ,i cannot refuse your thanks1 but ,i should like to see you thanking ,god more than you thank me4 ,i knew that she could sing and play1 so1 pointing to the piano1 ,i asked her if she would sing a hymn4 ,yes1 she said1 ,i will4 ,what shall ,i sing8 ,find ',when ,i survey the wondrous cross1' ,i said4 ,she did not need to find the music1 for she knew it without2 so1 sitting down1 she began to sing1 till the tears came into her eyes1 and her voice broke down4 ,i never knew the meaning of these words before1 she said2 ',sorrow and love flow mingled down4' ,how could ,i be so blind and ignorant8 ',love so amazing1 so divine1' does 'demand my life1 my soul1 my all6' ,o ,lord1 take it6 ,after this1 ,i had a few parting words with her1 and pointing to the crucifix ,i said1 ,remember ,christ is not on the cross now4 ,he died2 that is past4 ,he is risen1 and has ascended up on high4 ,the throne of grace is not the crucifix or the confessional1 but where ,christ sits--at the right hand of ,god2 and we1 as believers1 may in heart and mind thither ascend1 and with ,him continually dwell4 ,have done1 then1 with this dead ,popery2 you know better now4 ,testify for the glory of ,god4 ,this lady's conversion vexed her husband greatly1 and brought down the frowns and disapprobation of the reverend doctor2 altogether1 it did a deal of mischief in the camp4 ,the ,sisters of ,mercy with whom she was connected were kept aloof from her contaminating influence1 and soon afterwards were altogether removed from the place4 ,there was one1 however1 a particularly hard-headed looking individual1 who used to stare at me through her round spectacles whenever ,i met her1 as if ,i were an ogre4 ,i heard that she was a great mathematician4 ,she looked like it2 and evidently there was no fear entertained of her being converted4 ,she and one other were left behind2 but otherwise the house1 which had been built at great cost1 was empty4 ,the lady was not allowed to speak to me any more2 but ,i hope she continued to go to the true throne of grace1 and not to the crucifix to a living1 not a dead ,christ4 ,all this1 doubtless1 was intended to sicken me of my reverence for the ,catholic theory4 ,i was evidently under an infatuation on the subject1 which1 for the time1 nothing could dispel4 ,i had some poetic or imaginary fancy of spiritual catholicity before my mind1 which ,i supposed was something better than the fleshy spirituality of ,methodism1 to which ,i had taken a great dislike2 but where to find this ,utopia1 or how to embody it1 ,i knew not4 ,these specimens of catholic people ,i certainly had no sympathy with2 nor had ,i any patience with their hollow devotion and their studied imitation of ,popery4 ,i plainly saw that light could have no fellowship with darkness1 or life with death4 ,i was more and more convinced that when a man has more sympathy with dead ,catholics than with living ,dissenters1 he is not a living soul at all4 ,there is no necessity to go to one extreme or the other4 ,i believe the reformed ,church of ,england 7in her principles1 at least7 occupies the middle path between these two extremes1 with the excellences of both1 and the faults of neither4 ,i think ,i was permitted to be thus unsettled in my mind1 because ,i did not keep to my work with a single eye to ,god's glory4 ,,chapter #bg ,devonport1 #ahee4 ,i was at this time invited to preach in a church in ,devonport1 where it pleased the ,lord to give blessing to ,his word4 ,with this exception1 my work was1 generally speaking confined to individual cases4 ,i will give an account of a few which present the most instruction and interest4 ,the first ,i will mention is that of one of the curates of the church in which ,i was asked to preach4 ,at this time he was preparing for confession1 and his self-examination had brought him to see and feel that he was a sinner4 ,under this course of preparation1 the preaching of the ,gospel had much effect upon him1 and he came to tell me of his state4 ,i was able to show him from the ,word of ,god that he was in a worse condition than he supposed--that actually1 by nature1 we are lost sinners now4 ,under the operation of the ,holy ,spirit he was brought to feel this also1 and was very miserable4 ,one day1 while officiating at a funeral1 the ,lord spoke peace to his soul2 so great was his joy1 that1 he said1 he could scarcely refrain from shouting aloud in the middle of the service4 ,after it was over he went about everywhere1 telling of his conversion1 and the ,lord's dealings with his soul4 ,the result of this was that his fellow-curate 7who was also preparing for confession7 was awakened1 and came to me in great distress of mind1 declaring he could not say he was converted1 and that he was very unhappy4 ,he acknowledged that he should not like to die as he was1 and therefore knew he ought not to be satisfied to live in that state4 ,however1 when ,i got to close dealing with him about his soul1 he said that though he could not say he was saved1 he certainly thought that he was being saved by continual absolution and the sacrament4 ,upon this1 ,i was enabled to show him that he did not go to the means of grace1 or even to the ,lord's table1 because he was saved1 but in order to be saved2 and that he was working for life1 and not from life4 ,he gave up disputing1 and was not long before he too found peace in believing4 ,the time was approaching for these two curates to go1 as usual1 to confession4 ,they came together to ask me about it4 ,i counselled them to go1 by all means1 to the reverend doctor1 who usually received their confession1 and to tell him in their own words how the ,lord had convicted and converted them4 ,i said that ,bilney1 one of the first martyrs of the ,reformation1 when he was converted1 went immediately to make confession to ,latimer1 and by doing so he became the means of his conversion4 ,go1 by all means2 you do not know what use the ,lord may make of your testimony4 ,they went accordingly1 but did not meet with the happy success of ,bilney1 for they were sent indignantly away one after the other for saying their sins were pardoned and their souls save1 and that by direct and personal faith in ,christ1 without the intervention of a priest4 ,the reverend confessor1 unlike the honest ,latimer1 said these young men had come to mock him4 ,notwithstanding these instances of usefulness and encouragement1 ,i continued to be very unhappy1 for want of more general work1 and felt as if ,god had cast me off4 ,i can now see that this testing and perplexing dispensation through which ,i was passing1 was not altogether such a barren desert as ,i felt it to be at the time4 ,it was fraught with many lessons1 which have stood by me ever since1 though ,i must confess ,i never revert to this period without many unhappy memories4 ,i will record one more lesson which ,i was taught in this place1 and then go on to other subjects4 ,one warm spring day1 while ,i was sitting in my house with the doors and windows open1 a gentleman came running into it in great haste1 somewhat to my surprise1 he being a perfect stranger to me1 and ,i to him4 ,standing in the passage1 and looking into the room where ,i was seated1 he said1 ,sir1 are you a clergyman8 ,i replied1 ,yes1 ,i am4 ,for ,god's sake1 come2 follow me6 ,so saying1 he went away4 ,i immediately took up my hat1 and ran after him down the side of the square1 and noticing the gate where he turned in1 ,i walked leisurely to the same place1 and found him in the passage of his house panting for breath4 ,he had run so fast that he could not speak1 but made a sign to me to go upstairs2 then pointing to a door1 he bade me go in4 ,on doing so1 ,i saw at once it was a sick-chamber1 and found myself alone in the presence of a lady1 who was sitting up in the bed4 ,i bowed to her1 and said1 ,can ,i help you8 ,she said1 ,oh1 no6 it is too late6 ,too late for what8 ,i am dying2 ,i am lost6 ,i am lost6 ,it is too late--too late6 ,but ,christ came1 and is present1 to-save the lost4 ,oh1 yes6 ,i know all that4 ,i taught it to others1 but ,i never believed it myself4 ,and now it is too late3 ,i am lost6 ,then believe it now6 ,why not 'now'8 ,because it is too late6 ,while there is life there is hope6 ,lose no more time4 ',god so loved the world1 that ,he gave ,his only-begotten ,son1 that whosoever believeth on ,him should not perish' 7,john #c3af74 ,that is not for me4 ,i know that text very well1 but it will not do for me4 ,i am lost6 ,i am lost6 ,it is too late6 ,while ,i was speaking ,i saw her falling over the side of the bed4 ,springing forward1 ,i put out my arm1 and1 with her head resting on it1 and her despairing eyes looking into my face1 she expired4 ,i could scarcely believe it1 when ,i saw that flush on her face fade away unto the pallor of death4 ,she was gone6 ,i placed her poor head on the pillow1 and rang the bell for assistance4 ,her mother and sister came in1 saying1 ,is it not dreadful8 ,i said1 ,look at her4 ,she is gone4 ,she said it was too late1 and that she was lost for ever4 ,oh1 exclaimed the mother1 it is most dreadful6--most dreadful6 ,this poor young lady used to be a ,sunday-school teacher and district visitor2 but she was never converted1 and she knew it4 ,she had full head-knowledge1 but no heart experience1 and thus she died in unforgiven sins4 ,lost---for ever lost6 ,notwithstanding this1 and other solemn lessons which the ,lord was teaching me at this time1 ,i was still restless and unhappy4 ,i felt as if my life1 with its work1 was cut off in the very beginning of its usefulness1 and that there was no more for me to do4 ,as the weather became hot with the advancing summer1 ,i was more and more dejected in mind and body4 ,i lived now among strangers1 and had no settled occupation1 nor could ,i apply myself to study4 ,one very hot and dusty afternoon1 as ,i was slowly toiling up a steep hill1 two women overtook me2 and as they were passing1 ,i heard one say to the other1 in a very sad and disheartened tone1 ,i wish ,i had never been born2 and the other responded much in the same spirit1 though ,i could not hear what she said4 ,a fellow-reeling makes us wondrous kind1 and has the effect of drawing out our sympathies4 ,i followed these poor women1 and when we were on the top of the hill1 ,i spoke to them1 and then added1 ,you seem very weary4 ,will you come in and take a cup of tea and rest a little8 ,they thanked me1 and consented4 ,so ,i took them into the house1 and asked for some tea4 ,while it was being prepared1 ,i said to them1 ,i overheard you talking on the road as you passed me4 ,do you really wish you had never been born8 ,the poor woman who had uttered these words burst into tears2 and as soon as she could command her feelings sufficiently1 she told me her sad tale of sorrow and trouble4 ,she was a soldier's wife1 as was also the other1 and they were both in the same distress4 ,well1 ,i said1 trouble does not spring out of the ground2 and we may be equally sure that ,god1 who sends1 or at least permits it1 does so for our good4 ,one thing is certain1 that if we humble ourselves under the mighty hand of ,god1 ,he can and will lift us up1 for ,he has promised to do so4 ,he will make all things work together for our good1 if we trust ,him4 ,i then asked them if they had given their hearts to ,god4 ,one of them said1 ,ah1 that is what ,i ought to have done long ago2 ,i know a deal better than ,i do4 ,i was brought up well1 no mistake2 but ,i was giddy1 and went after the red-coats1 and married an ungodly man1 and now ,i am suffering for it4 ,dear woman1 ,i said1 you may thank ,god for hedging up your path4 ,he might have given you over to prosperity and a false happiness1 or left you altogether4 ,thank ,god that it is not worse with you2 and give ,him your heart4 ,do you believe that the ,lord ,jesus died for you8 ,she would not speak4 ,then ,i turned to the other1 who was also crying1 and said1 ,do you believe8 ,i did once1 she said1 in a dejected tone2 but ,i have gone back from everything4 ,by this time their tea was ready1 so ,i refreshed them with it2 and after that we resumed our conversation and united in prayer4 ,they both gave their hearts to ,god4 ,i found that they lived not far off1 so ,i had the opportunity of seeing them from time to time1 and was able to instruct and cheer them on their way4 ,i can see now how ,god was speaking to me through these women2 but somehow ,i did not hear or recognize ,his voice then4 ,about this time1 my dear wife became very prostrate in health and spirits--so much so1 that we felt anxious about her4 ,i went to a famous physician1 who was in the neighbourhood1 and asked him to come and see her4 ,he did so1 and after careful examination1 said that there was really nothing the matter more than that she was one of those persons who could not live in that limestone town in the summer4 ,he said1 ,she will be perfectly well if you take her away into the country4 ,you must do this at once1 for the longer she remains here1 the weaker she will be4 ,he refused to take any fee1 and said he would send a carriage at two o'clock1 and that we must be ready to start by that time4 ,this was more easily said than done2 for where could ,i take the children1 or how could ,i leave them at home8 ,however1 as the doctor was very peremptory1 we prayed about it1 and considered how we were to accomplish the task4 ,at this critical moment a friend arrived in his carriage1 and said he had driven in from the country to bring some relatives of his to the train1 and did not care to go back alone4 ,would one of us1 or both1 take pity on him1 and give him our company8 ,as soon as he heard of our position he greatly rejoiced1 and said1 ,come1 all of you2 ,i have plenty of room6 ,he took the invalid1 with some of the children4 ,i shut up the house1 and followed with the others and the nurse1 in the fly1 which duly arrived at two o'clock4 ,by five o'clock we were all out in the green fresh country1 and our patient was already revived1 and walking about the garden4 ,there happened to be a farm-house vacant1 which we took1 and removing some of the furniture1 made it comfortable for the present4 ,this we called home for a little time during my unsettled state4 ,,chapter #bh ,a ,mission to the ,north1 #ahee4 ,when my family were all comfortably settled and surrounded by kind friends1 ,i went off to the north of ,england1 on a visit to a clergyman1 who had invited me4 ,he had already suffered for doing this on a previous occasion1 in the diocese of ,oxford2 where the bishop took away his licence1 because he had me to preach for him4 ,the real cause of offence was1 that there was a revival in the parish2 and complaint was made to the bishop1 that people were kept up till all hours of the night1 howling and praying4 ,his lordship sent forthwith for my friend's licence2 ,i advised him to send it1 saying1 ,he will be sure to return it to you2 but perhaps with a reprimand4 ,instead of this1 the bishop kept it1 and said that he would countersign his testimonials to go to another diocese4 ,my friend was at first disgusted and disposed to rebel2 but instead of this1 he bore the treatment patiently2 and went to another position and charge at ,g--1 in the north of ,england4 ,thither1 nothing afraid1 he invited me to come4 ,in this part of the country ,i found a hearty lively people1 something like the ,cornish4 ,here ,i soon regained my spirits1 and got to work in right earnest4 ,in this place a revival began at once2 and every day we had people crying for mercy1 very much in the way they did in ,cornwall4 ,among others1 there came to the church on ,sunday afternoon1 a tall ,yorkshireman1 in his working clothes4 ,he stood under the gallery1 in his shirt sleeves1 with a clay pipe sticking out of his waistcoat pocket1 and a little cap on his head4 ,i fancy ,i can see him now1 standing erect1 looking earnestly at me while ,i was preaching1 with his hand on one of the iron supports of the gallery4 ,as the sermon proceeded he became deeply interested1 and step by step drew nearer to the pulpit4 ,he seemed to be altogether unconscious that he was not dressed for a ,sunday congregation1 or that he was the object of any special notice4 ,after the sermon he knelt down in the aisle1 and there he remained4 ,i was called out of the vestry to go to him1 but could not get him to say a word4 ,i prayed by his side1 and after some time he groaned out an ,amen1 then he got up1 and went towards the door4 ,i followed him1 and saw that instead of going along the path1 he made across the graves in the churchyard1 to a particular one2 and then he threw himself on the ground1 in vehement and convulsive emotion4 ,he said something about ,edward1 but we could not distinguish what it was4 ,the sexton said that this was his son ,edward's grave4 ,poor man6 he was in great sorrow2 but he kept it all to himself4 ,he then went home1 and shut himself up in his own room4 ,his daughter could do nothing with him in his distress4 ,we called several times to see him in the course of the evening1 but in vain4 ,the next morning ,i called again1 when his daughter told me that he had gone out early1 and had not returned to breakfast4 ,she appeared to be in a good deal of trouble1 and said she had been to his mine to inquire for him1 but that he was not there4 ,all day long we searched for him4 ,some looked in the woods1 half-expecting they might find his body on the ground1 or hanging from a tree2 while others inquired in every direction1 with increasing anxiety1 till the evening4 ,then1 as we were returning home in despair and disappointment1 whom should we see in the green lane between the vicarage and the church1 but our friend4 ,he was looking into the shrubs as if watching something2 and when we came up to him1 he turned to us with a radiant smile1 and said1 ,the ,lord is 'gude4' ,i said1 ,you are right1 ,he is so4 ,yes1 ,i am right1 all right6 thank ,god6 ,think of that6 ,he saved me this day6 ,are you coming to church to-night8 ,oh yes1 certainly ,i will be there4 ,but1 ,i said1 have you been home yet8 ,oh yes1 sir1 thank you2 my girl knows all about me4 ,that man was so manifestly changed1 and so filled with the ,spirit1 that his old worldly companions were afraid of him4 ,the publican of the inn he used to frequent was particularly so1 and said he was frightened to be in the same room with him4 ,there was a great stir among the people in this place2 for the fear of the ,lord had fallen on them1 so that they were solemnized exceedingly1 and many were converted4 ,the vicar being somewhat timid1 began to be afraid of what was going on2 and wrote to ask counsel of a clerical neighbour at ,c--1 who answered his letter by inviting him to come over1 and bring me with him4 ,he said that he wanted me to preach in his church on the following ,friday evening1 adding1 ,i have already given notice1 and also read parts of your letter in church4 ,i am sure the people will come and hear this man2 ,i expect a large congregation4 ,be sure and bring him over2 do not disappoint me on any account6 ,accordingly1 on the ,friday we appeared there1 and in the evening ,i preached to a large and attentive assembly4 ,many were awakened1 and some remained behind to be spoken with2 others1 who were too shy to do so1 went home2 and we heard the next morning that several had had no sleep or rest all night4 ,three men1 whom we saw in the morning1 had found peace4 ,after this1 we drove slowly back to ,g--1 but a messenger had arrived before us1 and said that ,i must come back again with him1 for the bills were already out that ,i would preach on ,sunday and following days at ,c----4 ,the vicar was most reluctant to let me go1 but under these circumstances1 he at last consented2 so ,i went back in the carriage the messenger had brought for that purpose4 ,at the ,sunday morning service1 the manner and tone of the people1 and their eager attention1 implied that something was going to happen4 ,there was a deeply solemn feeling in the church1 both morning and evening1 which made it very easy to preach4 ,in the course of my sermon1 ,i know not why1 ,i was led to ,speak about the endless misery of hell2 and some who were present said ,i asserted1 ,that there was a great clock in hell1 with a large dial1 but no hands to mark the progress of time3 it had a pendulum which swung sullenly and slowly from side to side1 continually saying1 ',ever6 never6' ',ever6 never6' 99 99 ,both ,bridaine and ,krummacher have expressed somewhat the same idea4 ,this seemed to make a profound sensation among the people3 many stayed to the after-meeting-they would not go away until they had been spoken with4 ,among others1 the churchwarden came to me in a very excited state1 and said1 ,what ever made you say1 ',now or never6--now or never6'8 ,he was like one beside himself with emotion when he thought of the pendulum which ,i had described4 ,now or never6--now or never6 he kept on repeating to himself1 till at last he went away4 ,he was far too excited to talk of anything else1 or to listen either4 ,later on in the evening1 we were sent for to come in all haste to his house4 ,there we found him in great trouble of mind1 and afraid to go to bed4 ,after talking to him for a short time1 he went on to say that he had a strange thing to tell us--that that very morning he was lying in bed 7he thought he was quite awake71 and looking at a little picture of the crucifixion which was hanging over the fireplace4 ,while doing so he saw as plainly as possible some black figures of imps and devils walking along the mantelpiece with a ladder1 which they placed against the wall1 evidently for the purpose of removing this picture from its place4 ,he watched them intently1 and noticed that they seemed much troubled and perplexed as to how they were to accomplish their task3 ,some of the imps put their shoulders to the under side of the frame1 while others went up the ladder2 one1 in particular1 mounted to the top with great dexterity1 to get the cord off the nail1 but without success4 ,enraged at this1 they made various other attempts1 but all in vain1 and at last they gave up in despair1 if not something worse2 for by this time they appeared furious1 and dashed the ladder down to the ground1 as if it were the fault of it1 and not of themselves4 ,in rage and disappointment1 they passed off the scene4 ,presently the bedroom door opened1 as he thought1 and who should present himself but ,paul ,pry 7that was the name he had given to a ,dissenting preacher in the village1 who was a portly man1 and always went about with a thick umbrella under his arm7--the veritable ,paul ,pry1 umbrella and all1 standing at the door4 ,he said to his visitor1 ,what do you want here8 ,the phantom pointed to the picture over the mantelpiece1 and said1 in a quiet1 confiding way1 ,now or never6 ,do you hear1 man8 ,now or never6 ,the man was indignant at this untimely intrusion1 and bade his visitor begone2 but1 for all that1 he still stood at the door1 and said1 ,now or never6--now or never6 ,he got out of bed1 and went towards the door1 but the figure disappeared1 saying1 ,now or never6--now or never6 ,then he got into bed again1 and all was still for a little while1 when suddenly the door opened a second time1 and the vicar appeared1 just as ,paul ,pry had done1 and came towards the bed1 as if with a friendly and affectionate concern for his welfare1 and said1 ,my dear fellow1 be persuaded it is 'now or never6' ,then1 taking a seat at the corner of the bed1 with his back leaning against the post1 he went on talking1 and saying1 again and again1 ,now or never6 ,the poor churchwarden remonstrated in vain against being visited in this manner1 and thought it very hard2 but the vicar sat there1 and persistently1 said1 ,now or never6 ,he became very angry1 and bade him go out of the room immediately2 but the vicar said1 ,now or never6 ,i will 'now' you1 he said1 if you do not be off2 and so saying he rose up in his bed2 while the vicar glided to the door1 repeating1 ,now or never6 and went away4 ,the poor man1 in great distress of mind1 turned to his wife1 and asked her what could be the meaning of all this2 but she only cried1 and said nothing4 ,then1 who should come next but ,mr4 ,f----1 a quiet man of few words4 ,he had thoughts1 no doubt1 but kept them all to himself4 ,he came gliding into the room1 as the vicar had done1 sat on the same corner of the bed1 leant against the same post1 and in 'the quietest way possible repeated the same words1 ,now or never6 ,do you hear him8 said the poor distracted man to his wife--do you hear him8 ,hear him8 ,hear what8 ,no6 nonsense6 ,what does he say8 ,my dear1 there6 listen6 ,now or never6 said the quiet man4 ,there1 did you not hear that8 ,no1 she said1 ,i can hear nothing1 and began to cry more copiously4 ,he got up1 and said he would take the poker and punish every one of them--that he would4 ,the strange visitor made for the door1 and1 like all the rest1 said1 as he disappeared1 ,now or never6 ,the poor churchwarden continued in a most distracted state1 and during the day met all his three visitors who had caused him so much anxiety--,paul ,pry1 the vicar1 and the quiet gentleman1 none of whom looked at him or spoke to him as if anything had happened2 but when he heard me say over and over again in the pulpit1 ,now or never6 pointing1 as it were1 to the ghostly pendulum swinging there saying1 ,ever6--never6 and inquiring of the people ,do you see it8 do you hear it8 it seemed to bring matters to a climax4 ,he said he turned and looked at the wall to which ,i pointed1 and almost expected to see that solemn clock4 ,i did not wait to hear more1 but kneeling down1 ,i begged him to close with the offer of salvation now4 ,no1 he said1 with a sigh1 ,i am afraid ,i have refused too long6 ,don't say so6 take it at once1 'now2' or perhaps it will be 'never' with you4 ,a man does not often get such a plain warning as you have had4 ,you had better take care what you are doing4 ',now6' why not 'now'8 ,he did accept salvation1 and yielding himself to ,god1 received forgiveness of his sins2 and after that became a very different man4 ,he had1 as may have been suspected from the above narrative1 the besetment of drink1 before his conversion1 and it remained a trouble to him after4 ,conversion and forgiveness of sins do not put away present bad habits4 ,such a master habit as this requires a direct dealing with4 ,zaccheus was a man who had been led astray by the love of money2 when he was saved1 he put his idol away from him at a stroke4 ,this is the first thing to be done2 and if it is done in the power of one's first love1 it is a more easy task than afterwards4 ,but it must be done with a firm and whole heart2 not ,lord1 shall ,i give the half of my goods to feed the poor8 but1 ,lord4 behold1 the half of my goods ,i do give4 ,behold1 ,lord1 ,i do give up the world here1 now4 ,behold1 ,lord1 ,i do here1 and now1 give up drink1 anti will totally abstain from it henceforth4 ,this is the first step2 and the next is not less important1 and that is to carry out the determination in the ,lord's power1 and not in our own4 ,the resolution and determination once made1 must be given over to the ,lord to be kept by ,him2 not by our own effort and energy1 but with perfect distrust of self and in dependence upon ,him to enable us to keep it4 ,without this1 there is no security whatever for anything more than temporary success1 too often succeeded by a sorrowful fall4 ,the flesh is too strong for us1 and even if it were not so1 the devil is2 these two together1 besides the lax example of the world1 are sure to overpower the weak one4 ,young ,christians need to put away at once the sin1 whatever it is1 that so easily besets them1 or they will be entangled by it4 ,there is no real and thorough deliverance1 except by renouncing sin1 and self too1 giving up and yielding to the ,lord4 ,that soul was saved2 but it was a miserable bondage of fear in which he lived and died4 ,he was brought home at last1 like a wrecked ship into harbour1 who might have come in with a good freight1 a happy welcome1 and an abundant entrance4 ,the next day1 ,monday1 we heard of other cases which were ordinary in their character1 and therefore need not be detailed2 but in the evening there was one which it will be instructive to mention4 ,it was that of a clergyman of private means who came to this parish as a curate2 but he had given up taking duty1 because1 he said1 it was all humbug reading prayers1 and all that4 ,he drove a tandem1' and smoked all day instead2 nevertheless1 he was the object of much and earnest prayer4 ,he also happened to be at church the day ,i preached about the clock2 and declared likewise that ,i said there was a clock in hell4 ,the sermon had evidently made a great impression upon him4 ,he came to church again the next day1 and heard something else that he was unable to forget4 ,after the service1 as soon as ,i was free1 he asked me to walk with him1 to which ,i assented1 though ,i was feeling very tired4 ,we rambled on the beach1 and talked about many things4 ,i tried in vain to bring up the subject of my discourse4 ,when ,i spoke about it he was silent2 and when ,i was silent1 he went off into other matters4 ,he talked about ,jerusalem and the sands of the desert1 and the partridges1 which1 he said1 were of the same colour as the sand4 ,was it from looking at sand always that they became that colour8 ,do people become alike who look much at one another8 ,is that why husbands and wives so often resemble each other8 and so on4 ,these questions made an impression on me1 so that they always come up to my memory in connection with that evening's walk4 ,certainly1 the apostle says that1 ,beholding the glory of the ,lord1 we are changed into the same image from444glory to glory2 therefore there may be something in my companion's idea4 ,but1 however interesting the subject might be to consider4 ,i was far too tired for anything else but real soul-to-soil6 work1 and therefore proposed that we should return home4 ,we did so2 and when my friend left me at the vicarage door1 he said abruptly1 ,will you let me write to you8 ,certainly1 ,i replied4 ,i will write to-night2 but do not trouble to answer in person2 send me a written reply4 ,i said ,i would4 ,in a few minutes after ,i received a short note1 the purport of which was1 ,how can ,i be saved8 ,it is a very simple question1 yet one not so easily answered to a person who already knew the scriptural answer4 ,however1 ,i had a letter by me which ,mr4 ,aitken had written to some one under similar circumstances2 so1 taking that for a model1 ,i wrote according to promise1 adapting and altering sentences to meet the present case4 ,i sent the note1 with a message that ,i would call in the morning4 ,i did so1 but found my friend was not at home4 ,the landlady said1 ,mr4 ,f--- went out last night soon after he received a letter1 and has not been home since4 ,she became alarmed when she heard that we had not seen him4 ,we too were taken by surprise1 and did not know which way to go in search of him1 or what to do4 ,presently we met the clerk of the church1 who inquired if we had seen anything of ,mr4 ,f--2 he had called the night before for the keys of the church1 and had not returned them2 so he 7the clerk7 could not get into the church to ring the bell or admit the congregation4 ,this threw some light on the matter2 so we went immediately to the church1 and with the vicar's keys entered by the vestry door4 ,looking about in all directions1 we found our friend on his knees in the nave1 where he had been all night4 ,i went up to him2 and1 as he did not speak1 ,i asked if ,i might pray with him4 ,he said1 ,yes4 ,what shall ,i pray for8 ,i don't know4 ,shall ,i ask the ,lord to come down from heaven again and die on the cross for you8 ,no4 ,do you believe that ,he has done that8' ,yes1 ,i do4 ,you do believe that ,he has died for you-for you8 ,i inquired1 laying the emphasis on you--for you1 as if you were the only person for whom ,he died8 ,yes2 ,i believe ,he died for me4 ,do you thank ,him for it8 ,no1 ,i do not2 ,i do not feel anything4 ,that may be2 but do you not think you ought to thank ,him for what ,he did for you8 ,he did not reply4 ,how can you feel anything till you have it8 ,or how can ,he give you any feelings till you thank ,him for what ,he has already done for you8 ,make some acknowledgment4 ,thank you1 he replied2 and without another word he rose from his knees and went away4 ,the bell was rung1 the people assembled1 and we had the service2 but he did not remain4 ,again he disappeared for the whole day1 until the evening1 when he came into the vestry1 and said1 ,will you let me read prayers this evening8 ,to this the vicar gladly assented2 so he put on the surplice for the first time after several months1 and went into church with us4 ,the fact of his reading prayers again1 and more especially the manner in which he did it1 attracted attention4 ,the earnest tone and meaning he threw into the words of the prayers1 and more particularly into the psalm1 penetrated much deeper4 ,one lady knelt down and began to pray for herself in the pew2 others were riveted as by the power of the ,spirit4 ,all through the sermon1 ,i felt that the ,lord was working among the people1 and at the close they were loth to go4 ,many more remained in the after-meeting than we could speak to2 manifest was the power of the ,spirit1 and much good was done4 ,there was great joy in the little village that night1 and for several days following the ,lord wrought among the people4 ,many lasting mementos remain of this week's ministry1 and of the weeks which followed4 ,our reticent friend was changed indeed1 and immediately gave up the tandem and the pipes4 ,i do not think he has ever smoked since2 he has had something better to do4 ,smoking is an idle custom1 and too often enslaves its votaries2 and even if it does not become a dominant habit1 it certainly teaches no lesson of self-denial4 ,a ,christian man needs not to seek relief in any such way4 ,it is said to be very soothing when a man is in any trouble or anxiety2 if so1 in this respect it may be said to be next door to the beer-barrel1 or to the use of spirits4 ,if one man may soothe his feelings with this narcotic1 another may stimulate them1 when he is low and cheerless1 with alcohol4 ,the ,apostle ,james says1 ,is any merry1 let him sing psalms4 ,he does not say1 ,is any afflicted or low1 let him smoke and drink6 ,no2 let him pray1 and depend upon ,god4 ,many a lesson which might be learned from ,god on our knees1 is let slip altogether because we think there is no ham in relieving ourselves by self-indulgence4 ,the flesh is a monster which is never appeased1 much less subdued1 by gratification4 ,our friend put away the smoking1 and sold his pipes of various kinds1 which must have cost a considerable sum1 for he realized eighty pounds by them4 ,with this amount1 and some addition1 he was able to put stained glass windows into the already beautiful church in which he received his blessing4 ,this suitable thank-offering was a lasting memorial of his gratitude1 besides being an example to others1 not only to give their hearts to ,god1 but also to give up their besetments1 whatever they might be1 and in doing so be free for ,god's service4 ,this young man soon after was removed to a more arduous sphere1 and carried great blessing thither2 as he did also when he went from thence to a yet more influential and important place4 ,though now laid aside by ill health1 he sends tracts and writes letters to many1 and so continues to be1 in the hand of the ,lord1 the means of winning souls2 and in addition to this1 sets an example of a holy and godly life4 ,another little incident ,i must notice here4 ,while ,i was still working in this place1 ,i received a letter from home1 telling me that they were all well1 and very happy in the country1 but that they wanted me back again1 and thought ,i had been away quite long enough4 ,besides this1 it was time to be getting summer things1 for which they would want at least ten pounds4 ,i had no money to send2 and though ,i might have asked many kind friends1 ,i felt a difficulty about it4 ,i do not think it was pride4 ,i had put myself and all my affairs into ,god's hands2 and though ,i was not ashamed to tell our circumstances to any one who asked me1 ,i made it a rule not to mention my troubles or wants to any but the ,lord4 ,i read the cheerful parts of my letter at breakfast1 and kept the other till ,i went upstairs4 ,there ,i spread the letter on the bed at which ,i knelt1 and read to the ,lord the part that troubled me4 ,i was praying about it1 when there came a knock at the door1 and before ,i had time to say ,come in1 my friend ,f--- entered4 ,seeing me on my knees1 he apologized for intruding1 and in his shy way put a ten-pound note into my hand1 saying1 ,i am ashamed it is not more2 but will you accept that8 ,with this1 he made for the door2 but ,i detained him1 in order to show him the part of my letter ,i had not read in the morning4 ,i said1 ,i was just reading it to the ,lord2 and look1 while ,i was still on my knees1 ,he has sent you with the answer4 ,it is the exact sum ,i want1 so do not apologize for it4 ,i thank ,god and thank you4 ,i will send this off at once4 ,,chapter #bi ,tregoney1 #ahee4 ,it was time now to be returning southward and homeward2 which ,i did by several stages1 stopping to preach in various places on the way4 ,at length ,i reached the village in ,cornwall1 where my family were lodging in the farmhouse ,i have already mentioned4 ,here1 the two clergymen were rather afraid of me1 and avoided asking me to preach in the church4 ,they had both been converted 7or1 at least1 so they said7 more than a year2 but instead of working for ,god1 they were bent on ,romanizing4 ,one of them said that there was no salvation in the ,church of ,england2 and the other showed me a sealed letter he had in his desk1 which1 he said1 he dared not open4 ,it was from a brother of his1 who went to ,rome1 and contained his reasons for so doing4 ,ah1 he said1 if ,i open that letter1 ,i feel sure that ,i shall have to go too4 ,this fascinating dread was upon him till he really did go1 six months afterwards4 ,i tried to deter these men from the erroneous step they were contemplating1 by getting them into active work for the ,lord4 ,sometimes ,i preached in this church1 but more often in the open air4 ,i am sorry to say my friends were but half-hearted in their cooperation1 so that after a few weeks ,i left1 and went to the west4 ,on my way thither1 a clergyman1 who happened to be inside the coach1 gave me his card1 and then came outside for the purpose of talking with me4 ,he asked me if ,i would take charge of his church and parish for six weeks4 ,i said ,i would1 but could not go for a week or two4 ,we agreed as to time1 and on the promised ,saturday ,i arrived at the place4 ,i walked there from a neighbouring town1 having several calls to make on the way1 and left my luggage to follow by the van4 ,in the evening1 about eight o'clock1 ,i went down to meet this conveyance1 and tell the man where to deliver my bag4 ,i found a crowd of people in front of the inn where the van stopped1 and heard the driver say1 in reply to some question1 ,i've not got him1 but ,i've got his bag4 ,where is he8 said a voice4 ,i don't know1 one said1 but ,i saw a queer little chap go into ,mrs4 ,m--'s house4 ,that's the place1 said the driver2 that's where ,i'm a-going to take his bag4 ,come on1 and let's see if he'll have it4 ,i went in and out among the crowd1 as it was dark1 asking questions1 and found out that they would like to duck the fellow if they could catch him2 they did not want any such ,revivalist chap as that amongst them1 and so forth4 ,they were greatly excited1 and wondered which road he was likely to come1 for they would go to meet him4 ,some one asked1 what is he like 8 ,one answered1 ,oh1 he is a rum-looking little fellow that stoops4 ,i should know him again anywhere4 ,hearing this1 ,i held up my head like a soldier1 in order to look as large as possible1 and waited about till they dispersed4 ,then ,i joined a young man1 and1 talking with him1 ascertained what it was all about4 ,i passed the house where ,i was to lodge1 for ,i saw that the people were watching the door4 ,i came back among them1 and1 pointing to the door1 said1 ,is that where he stops8 ,yes1 one replied1 he is there4 ,the man brought his bag and left it2 he is there1 sure enough4 ,i said1 ,let us go in and see him2 come along--come6 ,so saying1 ,i made for the door and knocked1 beckoning to the others to follow me2 but they would not do so4 ,as soon as the door was opened ,i went in1 and the landlady speedily closed it after me1 saying1 ,i am glad you are come4 ,how did you manage to get here8 ,i have sent word to the constable to look out for you1 and he is still watching somewhere4 ,why1 ,i asked1 what is it all about8 ,what is the matter8 ,why1 some of the lads here say1 that if they could catch you1 they would give you a good ducking in the pond4 ,indeed6 ,i said4 ,then ,i don't think ,i will give them that pleasure tonight4 ,so1 sitting down by the fire1 ,i made myself comfortable1 and after supper went to bed4 ,in the morning1 while at breakfast1 ,i saw a number of men playing in the open space in front of the house4 ,some were tossing pence1 some playing at ball and other games1 while many were standing about smoking1 with their hands in their pockets4 ,there1 that's the way they spend their ,sundays in this place1 said the landlady4 ,after watching them from the window for a little time1 ,i put on my hat and went out1 and told them it was time to go home and get ready for church2 that would be far better1 ,i said1 than playing like this on ,sunday4 ,it is a disgrace to men like you--married men1 too1 with families6 ,it would be bad enough if you were a parcel of boys4 ,i am quite ashamed of you6 ,they slunk away one by one1 and ,i walked down the street to look about me1 and to see the school-room where there was no school2 but ,i intended to have a prayer-meeting there in the evening1 after the service4 ,i put up a notice to this effect1 and then came back to my lodgings1 till it was near church-time1 when ,i set out1 arrayed in my gown and bands1 for the sacred edifice4 ,on the way there ,i observed stones flying past me in every direction2 but ,i walked on1 till at last ,i was struck on the cheek with a patch of muddy clay which was thrown at me4 ,there was a universal shout of laughter when the men and boys saw that ,i had been hit4 ,i put my hand to the place1 and found that the pat of clay was sticking to my cheek1 so ,i pressed it there1 hoping1 by the help of my whiskers1 that it would remain4 ,i said to the crowd1 who were laughing at me1 ,that was not a bad shot4 ,now1 if you come to church you shall see it there2 ,i will keep it on as long as ,i can4 ,so saying1 ,i walked on amidst the jeers of the people4 ,when ,i arrived at the vestry1 the clerk was in great trouble when he knew what had happened4 ,he said1 ,do let me wash the mud off1 sir4 ,oh1 no1 ,i replied1 ,i mean to show that all day1 if ,i can4 ,during the morning service1 at which there were about fifty present1 ,i succeeded in keeping on my mud-patch1 and returned to dinner with the same4 ,in the afternoon ,i said that ,i would have a service for children1 as there was no ,sunday school1 to which about twenty came4 ,before addressing them1 seeing that they were intently looking at the patch on my cheek1 ,i told them how it came there1 and that ,i intended to keep it on all through the evening service4 ,this news spread all over the whole place1 and the consequence was that such numbers of people came out of curiosity1 that the church was filled to over-flowing4 ,i preached without any reference to what had taken place1 and succeeded in gaining the attention of the people2 so that after the service ,i said ,i would have a prayer-meeting in the schoolroom4 ,we had the place crammed1 and not a few found peace4 ,i announced that ,i would preach again the next evening4 ,a revival soon broke out in that place1 and the crowds who came to the meetings were so great1 that we had as many people outside the large school-room as there were in4 ,at the end of the six weeks the new vicar returned1 and ,i was able to hand over the parish to him1 with a full church1 three ,bible-classes1 and a large ,sunday-school4 ,this ,i did1 thanking ,god for the measure of success and blessing ,he had given to my efforts in that populous and wicked place4 ,after ,i had left ,i received a letter from some of the parishioners1 asking me what ,i should like to have as a testimonial of their gratitude and regard2 hat they had had a penny collection amongst themselves1 which amounted to several pounds1 and now they were waiting to know what ,i should like6 ,i wrote to tell them that nothing would please me better than a service of plate for communion with the sick4 ,they bought this1 and had a suitable inscription engraved1 and then placed it under a glass shade in the ,town ,hall1 on a certain day for inspection4 ,hundreds of people came to see the result of their penny contribution4 ,after this public exhibition1 the communion service was sent to me with a letter1 written by a leading man in the place1 saying1 ,i was one of the instigators of the opposition to your work here2 but the very first evening you spoke in the school-room ,i was outside listening1' and was shot through the window4 ,the word hit my heart like a hammer1 without breaking a pane of glass4 ,scores and scores of people will bless ,god to all eternity that you ever came amongst us4 ,the revival in this proverbially wicked place1 created such a stir that the newspapers took it up1 and thought for once that ,i was in the right place1 and doing a good work6 ,the member for the borough sent me twenty-five pounds1 begging my acceptance of the trifle4 ,who asked him1 or why he sent it1 ,i do not know2 but the ,lord knew that we needed help4 ,more than this1 the vicar of the adjoining parish1 who used to be very friendly with me in my unconverted days1 but who had declared his opposition pretty freely since that time1 sent me a letter one ,sunday morning by private hand1 to be delivered to me personally4 ,this ,i duly received1 but expecting that it was one of his usual letters1 and knowing that ,i had visited some persons in his parish who were anxious1 ,i thought ,i would not open it until ,monday1 and so placed it on the mantelpiece4 ,a friend who happened to come in1 noticing it there1 said1 ,i see you have a letter from the ,prebendary2 ,i dare say he is angry with you4 ,i suppose he is1 ,i said2 but it will keep till tomorrow2 and ,i do not care to be troubled with his thoughts to-day4 ,oh1 do let me open it1 said my visitor2 ,i shall not be here to-morrow1 and ,i should like to hear what he has to say4 ,with my consent he opened it and read1 ,dear old ,haslam1 you have done more good in that part of my parish where you are working1 in a few weeks1 than ,i have done for years4 ,i enclose you a cheque for the amount of tithes coming from there4 ,the ,lord bless you more and more6 ,pray for me6 ,it was a cheque for thirty-seven pounds4 ,the next morning ,i went over to see my old friend newly-found1 and to thank him in person for his generous gift4 ,poor man1 ,i found him very low and depressed1 and quite ready and willing that ,i should talk and pray with him4 ,i sincerely hope that he became changed before ,i left the neighbourhood1 but ,i never heard that he declared himself4 ,by this time1 while ,i was still in ,tregoney1 ,mr4 ,aitken had found his way to the village where my family were lodging1 and he was preaching at the church with his usual power and effect4 ,night after night souls were awakened and saved4 ,the vicar's wife was in a towering rage of opposition4 ,poor woman6 she declared that she would rather go to ,rome than be converted 2 and to ,rome she went1 but remained as worldly as ever4 ,it matters very little whether unconverted people join the ,church of ,rome or not2 they are sure to be lost for ever if they die in their unconverted state3 for nothing avails for eternal salvation but faith in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ4 ,,chapter #cj ,secessions1 #ahef4 ,after mission which ,mr4 ,aitken had held1 people came out so decidedly1 that the vicar and curate1 who had all along kept aloof1 doubting1 fell back into a kind of revulsion1 and began to read and lend ,romish books4 ,eventually1 they themselves decided to join the ,church of ,rome4 ,whether they were ever really converted or not1 ,i cannot tell4 ,i thought and hoped they were1 but they seldom stood out on the ,lord's side4 ,they certainly had light1 and may have had some experience4 ,at any rate1 they chose such a harlot as the ,church of ,rome for the object of their love1 instead of ,christ ,himself4 ,i loved the curate4 ,he was the man who had the unopened letter in his desk199 of which he harboured such a dread4 ,sad to say1 he ended by falling away at last4 ,poor man6 he went over to ,rome1 and never held up his head any more4 ,evidently disappointed1 and ashamed to come back1 he lingered on for some months1 and then died4 99 ,see page #bef4 ,not long after his secession1 we accidentally met in a quiet lane1 in another part of the county1 where ,i was walking for meditation4 ,perhaps he was led there for the same purpose4 ,meeting so unexpectedly1 there was no opportunity to evade one another4 ,i felt a trembling come over me at seeing him1 and he was none the less moved4 ,we held each other's hands in silence1 till at last ,i said1 ,how are you8 ,i love you still4 ,i cannot stand it6 he said2 and snatching his hand out of mine1 he ran away4 ,i never saw him again1 but mourned for him till he died4 ,i cannot help thinking that he is safe1 and that he died in a faith more scriptural than that of the ,church of ,rome4 ,why do men secede2 and break their own hearts1 and the hearts of those who love them8 ,rome seems to cast a kind of spell upon the conscience1 fascinating its victims much as the gaze of the serpent is said to hold a bird1 till it falls into its power2 or as a light attracts a moth1 till it flies into it1 to its own destruction4 ,such seceders mourn and dread the step2 pray about it1 think and think1 till they are bewildered and harassed2 and then1 in a fit of desperation1 go off to some ,romish priest to be received4 ,a man who had an honourable position1 a work and responsibility1 suddenly becomes a nonentity1 barely welcomed1 and certainly suspected4 ,romish people compass sea and land to make proselytes2 and after they have gained them1 they are afraid of them1 for their respective antecedents are so different1 that it is impossible for them to think together4 ,they get the submission of a poor deluded pervert1 but he gets nothing in return from them but a fictitious salvation4 ,they gain him2 but he was lost the kind regard and sympathy of friends he had before1 and with it all that once was dear to him2 and he voluntarily forfeits all this upon the bare self-assertion of a system which claims his implicit obedience4 ,the poor pervert is required to give over his will1 his conscience1 and his deepest feelings to the keeping of his so-called priest or to the ,church1 and is expected to go away unburdened and at peace4 ,some there are1 it is true1 who actually declare that they have peace by this means2 but what peace it is1 and of what kind1 ,i know not4 ,supposing that ,i was in debt and anxiety1 and a man who had no money1 but plenty of assurance and brass1 came to me and sympathized in my trouble1 saying1 ,do not fear---trust me2 ,i will bear your burden1 and pay off your debt--if the manner of the man was sufficiently assuring1 it would lift up the cloud of anxiety and distress2 but1 for all that1 the penniless man would net1 and could not1 pay my debt4 ,i might fancy he had done so or would do so2 and then1 when it was too late1 the debt1 with accumulated interest1 would fall on me1 to my over-whelming ruin1 even though ,i had been ever so free from anxiety before4 ,so it is with these deluded ones1 who go to the priest instead of to ,christ1 and take his absolution instead of ,christ's forgiveness4 ,any one who carefully reads the ,word of ,god may see that the ,church of ,rome has no such priesthood as she claims1 nor power to forgive sins1 as she professes to do4 ,the whole supposition is based on a misunderstanding of the text1 ,whose soever sins ye remit1 they are remitted unto them2 and whosesoever sins ye retain1 they are retained 7,john #bj3bc74 ,the disciples 7some of them not apostles7 who received this commission or privilege1 never understood that they were by these words 7men and women together7 empowered to be absolving priests4 ,even the very apostles never knew that they had any such power2 and it is certain they never exercised it4 ,they were perfectly innocent of being priests after the ,romish type1 and never dreamed of offering a propitiatory sacrifice4 ,they simply believed that ,christ had completed the work of propitiation once for all2 and that there is now no more sacrifice for sin--that ,christ only can forgive sins4 ,therefore in the words of ,st4 ,john we are told1 that if any man sin 7apostles and people alike71 we have an advocate with the ,father1 ,jesus ,christ the righteous2 and ,he is the propitiation for our sins 7#a ,john #b3a1 #b74 ,the apostles and early ,christians never understood that the power of the keys meant the exercise of mere priestly authority1 neither was the doctrine known for several centuries after their time2 therefore we may be sure that the peace which perverts have1 if it professes to come from that source1 is a delusion4 ,no true remission or peace is1 or can be given1 but by direct and personal transaction with ,christ ,himself4 ,i am perfectly convinced that the ,epistles to the ,romans and the ,galatians are the answer to all the pretences of the ,church of ,rome1 and that a man who will not read and follow them deserves to be misled4 ,god is perfectly justified and clear on this point4 ,during that winter six of my friends joined the ,church of ,rome4 ,one ,i have already told about1 who died1 ,i am sure1 from grief and disappointment499 ,another became bigoted1 and with a sullen1 dogged pertinacity1 set himself to work for ,rome1 looking very miserable all the time1 although he used once to be happy in the ,lord's work4 ,the others1 without exception1 went back into the world1 and made no secret of their conformity with it1 its ways1 and fashions4 99 ,see page #bfc4 ,this was a time of trouble in more respects than one4 ,these secessions to ,rome brought great discredit upon the work1 and especially on the effort to promote ,catholic truth1 and higher ,church life4 ,i found my own refuge and comfort was in working for ,god1 and therefore went out on mission work whenever and wherever ,i could4 ,early in the spring of this year ,i went on a mission to ,worcestershire1 and there the ,lord vouchsafed a great blessing1 which has more or less continued to this day2 though ,i grieve to say the present vicar has no sympathy with it4 ,the work is still carried on in an ,iron ,room1 out of church hours1 by people who continue to go to church4 ,the vicar of that time asked me to go and visit a farmer's wife1 who was under deep conviction1 and wished to see me4 ,i did so1 and as we approached the door 7which was open7 the first thing we heard was this individual saying1 in a very high-pitched3 voice1 ,confound444 ,seeing us1 she suddenly stopped4 ,go on with your text1 said the vicar1 quietly1 ',confounded be all they that serve graven images2' is that what you mean8 ,no1 she replied2 come in1 ,i am so wretched that ,i don't know what to do with myself2 it has made me cross4 ,do come in and pray with me4 ,we at once consented2 and on pointing her to ,jesus1 she found peace4 ,not content with praising ,god alone1 she opened her house for a meeting for the people in the neighbourhood4 ,this being situated on the confines of the parish1 brought us into collision with the rector of the next parish4 ,he was most indignant at our coming 7as he said71 to entice his people away4 ,i tried my best to conciliate this gentleman1 but nothing would do1 particularly when he heard that ,i was thinking of settling down in the district4 ,this plan was however frustrated in an unexpected manner1 and ,i was not permitted to remain there4 ,one day1 when ,i was praying about the matter1 a letter was put into my hand from a lady who had been asking the ,lord for nearly six months that ,i might be appointed to her late husband's church4 ,she had applied to ,lord ,palmerston1 who was the patron1 and though she had received no answer1 yet she had continued to pray4 ,at last there came a courteous letter from his3 lordship1 apologizing for having delayed his reply1 adding that he had mislaid the application of her1 nominee2 if she would oblige him with the name and address of this person1 the appointment should be made out immediately4 ,she gave my name and address1 and sent his letter on to me4 ,i immediately wrote to his lordship1 saying that ,i had not applied for the living1 nor did ,i want it2 but1 for all that1 ,i received by return post the nomination2 and actually1 it was to go back to the diocese of ,exeter6 ,i did not think the ,bishop would institute me1 as ,i had committed a great many irregularities since his lordship had taken off my harness4 ,but he did4 ,somehow ,i was unwilling to go to this living1 but was put into it in spite of myself4 ,here ,i had a good house1 garden1 and church1 provided for me1 with so much a year4 ,i wondered whether ,god was tired of me6 ,he had provided for me and my family during the past year wondrously1 and ,i began to like living by faith1 and trusting in ,him only4 ,i have great doubts whether this appointment was altogether in accordance with ,god's will4 ,anyway1 ,i had very little success or liberty in preaching1 and could not settle down to work with any energy4 ,in the beginning of the summer1 as usual1 ,i had my attack of hay fever1 which completely incapacitated me1 in this place of much grass4 ,if ,i went to a town or the sea-side1 it was well2 but the moment ,i returned to the country ,i was ill again4 ,altogether1 it was a dull and distressing time2 but ,god was preparing me for a special work4 ,,chapter #ca ,hayle1 #aheg-eh4 ,while meditating upon my present position1 and wondering what ,i was to do next1 ,i received an invitation to take charge of a district in another part of the county1 near the sea1 which suited my health4 ,here there was a large population1 which gave scope for energetic action2 and1 moreover1 the people were careless and ,godless1 and1 as such1 were not preoccupied with other systems4 ,so ,i thought it was the very place in which ,i could begin to preach1 and go on to prove the power of the ,gospel4 ,with the invitation1 ,i received an exaggerated account of the wickedness of the people1 and was told that the thinking part of them leant towards infidelity1 and that some of them were actually banded together in an infidel club4 ,all this1 however1 did not deter me from going1 but rather stirred me up so much the more to try my lance against this gigantic foe4 ,i had learned before now to regard all difficulties in my work as the ,lord's1 and not mine2 and that1 though they might be greater than ,i could surmount1 they were not too great for ,him4 ,there were two large iron factories here1 besides shipping4 ,many of the people employed were drawn from other parts of ,england1 and were what the ,cornish call foreigners4 ,they had no love for chapel services1 or revivals1 and no sympathy with ,cornish views and customs2 so not having a church to go to1 they were left pretty much to themselves4 ,with this attractive sphere before me1 ,i gave up my living and work in the country1 and accepted the curacy at l4 #abj a year1 with a house rent-free4 ,my rector was a dry ,churchman1 who had no sympathy with me2 but he seemed glad to get any one to come and work amongst such a rough1 and in some respects unmanageable1 set4 ,he had bought a chapel from the ,primitive ,methodists for ,divine service1 and had erected schools for upwards of three hundred children4 ,these he offered me as my ground of operation1 promising1 with a written guarantee1 that if ,i succeeded1 he would build me a church1 and endow it with all the tithes of that portion of the parish4 ,here was a field of labour which required much prayer and tact1 as well as energetic action4 ,in accordance with ,scriptural teaching1 ,i determined to know nothing but ,jesus ,christ and ,him crucified4 ,i made up my mind that ,i would not begin by having temperance addresses for drunkards1 or lectures on the ,evidences of ,christianity for the infidel1 but simply with preaching the ,gospel4 ,one thing that simplified my work very much was the fact1 that the people were spiritually dead4 ,i used to tell them1 that in this free country every man is accounted innocent till he is proved to be guilty1 but that in the ,bible every man is guilty before ,god till he is pardoned1 and dead till he is brought to life4 ,in one sense it does not matter very much whether a man is an infidel1 a drunkard1 or anything else1 if he is dead in trespasses and sins4 ,it is of very little consequence in what coloured raiment a corpse is shrouded2 it remains a corpse still4 ,taking this position positively1 ,i avoided much religious controversy1 to the disappointment of many eager disputants1 who longed to ventilate their views4 ',i told them plainly1 that whether they were1 right or wrong1 my business was with the salvation3 of souls1 and my one desire was to rescue the lost3 by bringing' them to ,christ4 ,hitherto ,i had been to places where the ,lord had previously prepared the hearts of the people1 and therefore it had been my joy to see a revival spring up1 as if spontaneously2 that is1 without the ordinary preparation by the people of the place4 ,these extraordinary manifestations of ,god's power and love2 and they showed me what ,he could and do4 ,now that ,i was somewhat more intelligent on the subject1 ,he sent me forth to prepare and work for similar results4 ,hayle was to all appearances a very barren soil1 and the people ,i had to labour amongst were greater and mightier than myself4 ,they already had possession of the ground1 and were perfectly content with their own way4 ,moreover1 they did not desire any change1 and were ready even to resist and oppose every effort which was designed to ameliorate their condition1 or to change their lives4 ,in this undertaking ,i knew and understood that without prayer and dependence upon ,god to work in me and by me1 my mission would be altogether unavailing1 ,i therefore looked about1 and found some ,christians who consented to unite in pleading for an outpouring of the ,holy ,spirit4 ,we agreed to pray in private1 and also met together frequently during the week for united prayer4 ,finding that many of the petitions offered were vague and diffuse1 ,i endeavoured to set before those assembled a definite object of prayer4 ,i told them that the work was not ours but the ,lord's1 and that ,he was willing and ready to accomplish it1 but that ,he must be inquired of concerning the work of ,his hands4 ,also1 in order that our prayers should be intelligent and united1 ,i put before them the fact1 that the people we had to work amongst were lost2 not that they would be lost by-and-by if they died in their sins2 but that they were actually lost now4 ,it is true that many were quite ignorant of the way of salvation1 and were also unconscious of the power of the enemy who held them captive2 and besides1 they loved their captivity too well2 but all this would be overcome in a moment1 when they were once enlightened by the ,spirit 7in answer to prayer7 to see and feel themselves lost4 ,no one could be more ignorant than the jailor at ,philippi1 but as soon as he was awakened he cried out1 ,what must ,i do to be saved8 7,acts #af3cj74 ,i showed them that the work we had to do was clearly set forth in ,scripture 7,acts #bf3ah71 and that the order in which it was to be done was also made manifest4 ,we must not begin with giving instruction as if the people were merely ignorant2 but rather by awakening or opening their eyes to see that they were in a lost and ruined condition4 ,then they would appreciate being turned from darkness to light1 and from the power of ,satan unto ,god1 that they may receive forgiveness of sins 7,acts #bf3ah74 ,i strove earnestly to show them that until people had received forgiveness of sins1 our work was not complete4 ,we made this our definite aim1 and prayed about it with clear expectation4 ,under the shadow and influence of this prayer1 ,i began to preach to the people2 not to believe1 but to awake and see their lost condition2 that is1 to repent1 that they might believe the ,gospel4 ,at first there were very few people in my congregation1 but by degrees more came1 and listened attentively to the ,word4 ,after preaching for four or five ,sundays1 ,i asked the people during my sermon1 what in the world they were made of2 for ,i was surprised at them6 ,they came and listened to ,god's truth1 and yet did not yield themselves to ,him4 ,are you wood1 or leather1 or stone8 ,what are your hearts made of1 that ,god's love cannot touch or ,his ,word break them8 ,i then invited the anxious to remain for an after-meeting1 when ,i said that ,i would converse with them more familiarly2 but they every one went away4 ,i returned to the vestry1' feeling somewhat dejected1 but still hoping for better days4 ,as ,i opened the door to go home1 two men ran away like frightened boys1 but it was too dark for me to distinguish who they were4 ,that next morning it came to my mind that ,i must go round to the people and ask them what they were thinking about8 ,i had done so from the pulpit2 now ,i would go from house to house and do the same4 ,i went first to the school1 and finding that several children were absent1 ,i took their names and determined to go after them1 in the hope of reaching their parents4 ,the first house ,i called at was a mistake1 and yet it was not4 ,i knocked at the door1 and said1 ,does ,mrs4 ,w-- live here8 ,the woman who opened it said1 ,no1 she lives next door4 ,i apologized for disturbing her1 and was going away1 when she said1 ,will you not come in for a few minutes8 ,i assented1 and going in1 took a seat4 ,then ,i asked her name1 and whether she went to church4 ,she replied1 ,to be sure ,i do4 ,don't you see me there every ,sunday8 ,then1 ,i said1 did you hear my question last evening4 ,yes1 she said1 but ,i was afraid1 and ashamed to stay behind4 ,but ,i do wish to be saved2 ,i have been wretched for more than a week4 ,it was very easy to lead to the ,saviour of sinners one whose heart was so prepared4 ,she soon found peace1 and became one of my most useful and steadiest helpers4 ,her neighbour next door1 was by no means so ready to receive the truth1 and ,i had to supply another argument altogether4 ,eventually1 she also found peace in believing2 though not for some weeks4 ,from this house1 ,i visited several others1 and in all of them had serious dealing with individuals about their 'souls' salvation4 ,then ,i set off to see a man ,i had often observed in church2 having noticed the anxious look with which he always regarded me during the sermon4 ,i found him at home1 and1 on entering his house1 he said1 at once1 ,i know what you are come for4 ,wait a little1 sir1 please to sit down2 and before ,i had time to say a word1 he went upstairs4 ,in a few minutes he returned1 with a shilling in his hand4 ,there1 he said1 there it is2 that is my contribution for the ,indian ,mutiny ,fund4 ,i thanked him for his offering1 and promised that it should be given to the treasurer4 ,but1 ,i added1 to tell the truth1 ,i have not come about that1 but to see you4 ,i want to speak to you about your soul4 ,he sat down1 looking1 as ,i thought1 most unhappy4 ,then he said1--,last night my mate and ,i made up our minds to speak to you in the vestry2 but1 just as we were coming to the door1 you opened it1 and we ran away4 ,yes1 ,i said1 ,i heard you4 ,well1 after that1 we came home1 and prayed the ,lord to send you to us3 and here you are6 ,thank ,god for the answer to prayer4 ,now then1 what can ,i do for you8 ,he told me that he was born of respectable parents in ,germany2 but that1 for his bad ways and bad habits1 they had sent him to this country to work for his bread2 that he had taken the pledge several times1 and broken it again and again1 though he had prayed and done all he could think of2 but it was to no propose4 ,if you had stayed last night1 ,i said1 ,i might have helped you4 ,how did you come to break your pledge8 ,oh1 he said1 it came to my mind that when ,i signed1 ,i was only thinking of beer and spirits1 not wine2 so ,i took some1 and it flew to my head2 and soon ,i was as bad as ever4 ,now1 ,i said1 you have renounced wine and all2 have you8 ,yes1 ,i have4 ,well then1 will you give your heart to ,god also8 ,in course of conversation it came out1 that this man's first impressions were effected some years before1 by a dream1 or vision of ,christ on the cross4 ,he was passing by1 but1 somehow1 turned to look at it2 when1 to his surprise1 he saw that the eyes of the figure were looking at him4 ,as he approached1 the figure appeared to be standing on the ground1 and beckoning1 when a sudden fear came over him2 he stopped1 and the vision faded away4 ,ever since that time1 he had felt that ,jesus was the ,friend he needed2 and that nothing less would satisfy him4 ,unfortunately1 too many1 like this man1 stop at a critical point of their history2 and1 often1 the crisis is not prolonged for them1 as it was for him4 ,a long time ago there was a sinner arrested by a similar vision4 ,he says1 in a hymn which he wrote1 giving a description of it3-- ,i saw ,one hanging on a tree1 ,in agony and blood1 ,who fixed ,his languid eyes on me ,as near the cross ,i stood4 ,he continues1 ,my conscience felt and owned its guilt2 and when he did so1 he received a second look1 which spoke forgiveness to him1 as distinctly as the first look brought him under conviction4 ,i charged this man to make his surrender1 and to own or acknowledge himself the sinner for whom ,jesus died4 ,on doing so1 he obtained forgiveness and peace1 and has since1 by grace1 been enabled to live a happy1 consistent1 and devoted life1 and has been a blessing to many souls4 ,no sooner had he found the ,saviour1 than immediately he began to plead for and with his friend ,james4 ,i know not what passed between them2 but that same evening he brought him to me with a heart prepared to receive ,christ4 ,we had only to point him to ,jesus1 and encourage him to thank ,god1 when he realized the truth in his own experience4 ,so that ,monday ,i rejoiced over five people brought to the ,lord2 and then the work began in real earnest4 ,every week after that1 remarkable conversions took place1 besides many ordinary ones4 ,some of these1 including the one just mentioned1 are described at length in tracts1 and are also published in a volume entitled ,building from the ,top1 and other ,stories2 but1 notwithstanding this1 a brief allusion to them in this narrative may not be out of place1 being so particularly connected with the work here4 ,a woman called me into her cottage one morning as ,i was passing by1 and told me of her son1 a steady young man1 though still unconverted1 for whom she had prayed continually ever since his birth4 ,she said1 when he was a very little child1 she heard him one night sobbing and praying in his room--,o ,lord1 save me up for a good boy6 ,she thought this was in answer to her supplication2 but as he grew up he became thoughtless and careless1 like too many others of his age4 ,some five or six months ago1 she said1 he had a dream or vision1 and saw you so plainly that he pointed you out to me1 among other clergymen1 and said1 ',mother1 that man is to be our minister one ,i saw him a little time ago1 in a dream1 as plainly as ,i see him now2 ,i know that is the man4' ,we did not know who you were then1 or where you came from1 and never saw you again till you came lately to this parish to be our minister4 ,last night1 continued the mother1 after he returned from church1 my ,william was very unhappy and restless2 and in the night ,i heard him crying and praying aloud for mercy1 in great distress4 ,he told me this morning1 when ,i asked him about it1 that he dreamt that the last day was come1 and that the world was on fire3 and he began immediately to try to pray1 but could not2 yet he went on trying till he heard some one laugh out at him1 and say1 ',ho6 ho6 my boy1 you are too late6--ho6 ho6--too late6 ,i have got you now---you are too late6' ,this frightened him so much that he woke up1 and getting out of bed1 began on his knees to pray in earnest for the ,lord to have mercy on his soul4 ,being much interested in the young man1 ,i begged her to send him to me in the evening4 ,she did so2 and when he arrived ,i frankly told him what ,i had heard about him1 and particularly about his distress and prayer the night before4 ,your mother has prayed for you for years2 and when you were a little boy you prayed the ,lord to save you3 last night1 again1 you were constrained to cry for mercy4 ,these are all tokens of ,god's good intentions and purposes towards you4 ,can you trust ,him8 ,as he hesitated 7for so many like to feel something before they make the venture of faith71 ,i continued1 ,these tokens are better than feelings1 for they are facts and sure signs by which you may know that the ,lord is calling you4 ,we may well understand that it was not long before the ,lord1 who had so marvellously opened his eyes to see his sins1 enabled him by the same ,spirit to see ,jesus as ,his ,saviour1 and to rejoice in the forgiveness of his sins4 ,then ,i asked him to sit down again1 for ,i was curious to hear about the dream or vision which he had had some months before he ever saw me4 ,william1 ,i said1 did you ever see me before ,i came to this parish8 ,yes1 he replied1 ,i saw you once in a vision1 more than six months ago6 ,do you mind telling me about it8 ,after a little hesitation1 he answered1 ,i often dream things4 ,one night ,i dreamt that ,i was walking on a wild barren common2 there were many bare places where people had cut turf1 and there were prickly furze-bushes about4 ,i knew there were some did open mine-shafts there1 for people sometimes fell into them at night2 but ,i was walking along without thinking of danger1 and was not afraid1 though it was dark1 and ,i was alone4 ,i don't know how long ,i went on like this1 but next ,i found ,i was walking with you4 ,i could see you very plainly1 just as if it had not been dark1 and you were talking about ,jesus and ,his love to sinners4 ,i liked your words very much1 and was so taken up with them that ,i do not know when it became light2 for now ,i could see the rough common1 and a path1 and we were walking in it4 ,going along this path1 we came to a wall1 and ,i could not go any further2 but you walked on as if there were no wall4 ,presently you stopped1 and1 turning to me1 said1 ',why don't you come on8' ,i answered1 ',i cannot4' ,why not8 ,because there is a wall here4 ,no1 you said1 there is no wall--it is an open door4 ,i was surprised at you saying that1 for ,i feel the wall and see it4 ,what would you do if there was no wall8 ,do that4 ,it is not a wall1 but a door1 you said2 walk forward6 ,when ,i ventured forward ,i found your were true4 ,it was1 indeed1 an open way1 leading into a beautiful garden4 ,i was very happy1 and said1 ',whose garden is this8' ,you answered1 ',it is the ,lord's1 and you are to dress it and work in it4 ,then ,i saw the ,lord ,himself4 ,he came forward1 and bidding me welcome1 said that you should teach me for three years4 ,then ,i awoke4 ,from this extraordinary narration ,i gathered three things for myself4 ,first1 that ,god intended me to come to this place4 ,secondly1 that ,i was to labour here for three years4 ,thirdly1 that ,i was to teach the people not to wait for feelings1 but to act upon the ,word of ,god4 ,this last intimation was so clearly signified by ,william's dream1 that it came upon me with striking force4 ,i had been speaking on this very subject more than once1 and had ventured so far as to say that ,i thought this delusion about waiting for feelings was from the devil1 to hinder the work of ,god in the soul4 ,it certainly did hinder us1 very much2 and1 moreover1 it was most distressing to see people1 who were manifestly impressed under the power of a present ,god1 waiting for ,him2 because they did not feel some token1 which they had set their minds upon4 ,day by day souls were being given in the ,church1 and also in the cottage meetings2 so that ,i could not help seeing that the ,lord had begun to use me again4 ,some came to the meetings who had been awakened under the ordinary preaching of the ,gospel2 some because others brought them2 and some out of curiosity4 ,one of the latter cases ,i will mention4 ,a married woman1 ,n4 ,r--1 heard people talking of the work which was going on4 ,it seemed to her to be such a strange thing in connection with a ,church minister1 that she came to a cottage meeting to judge for herself1 without the remotest idea of being converted4 ,god's ways are not as ours2 while she was listening1 the word reached her with power1 so that she was convicted and converted1 and came out of that cottage a rejoicing believer1 lost in wonder1 love and praise4 ,she was indeed strikingly and manifestly changed1 and did not hide it4 ,it was such a joy and surprise to her that she could not help telling every one4 ,out of the abundance of her heart her lips spoke to tell of the loving kindness of the ,lord4 ,,chapter #cb ,bible ,readings1 #aheh-ei4 ,the church 7so-called7 in which ,i now ministered had been built by persons who intended to accommodate the largest number of people for the smallest amount of money4 ,it was scantily built1 and almost square1 with galleries on three sides4 ,on the remaining one there used to be a pulpit1 conspicuously placed in the middle of the wall4 ,this important portion of the edifice was now removed to one side1 to make room for a ,communion table1 the seats in front being arranged chancel-wise1 facing one another1 for the choir4 ,this was quite a damper to my ecclesiastical tastes2 besides being ugly in the extreme4 ,i tried by putting ornamental scrolls over the windows1 and by staining the glass in them1 to make some improvement4 ,i also painted a diaper pattern round the side walls2 and upon the high blank wall behind the ,communion table exercised all the skill ,i possessed1 but fear it was somewhat in vain1 though ,i laboured hard4 ,the designs looked very well on paper1 but when displayed on the wall gave no satisfaction2 so one after another they disappeared1 till my dissolving views1 as they were called1 ended in a large floriated cross of gold1 with a monogram inter-twined in it1 on a dark background4 ,when once1 however1 the ,lord began to bless the ,word1 and souls were awakened1 despite all anti-ecclesiastical appearances1 my heart was drawn towards the ugly place1 and ,i loved it greatly4 ,i could never have believed that my former tastes and tendencies could have been so completely changed as they were4 ,in those days it was a strange thing to hold an after-meeting in a church2 it was never done1 even by the few who had such meetings4 ,therefore1 ,i took the anxious ones and others to my own house for the inquiry meeting1 after the evening service4 ,having taken up the carpet in the drawing-room1 we fitted it up with chairs and forms to accommodate ninety people1 while half as many more occupied the hall1 and often numbers stood outside the windows4 ,in this house it pleased ,god to give us very many souls1 who were brought in week by week for several months4 ,i believe every room in that house1 like the rooms at ,baldhu ,parsonage1 was consecrated as the birth-place of one or more of ,god's children4 ,the number of those who attended the after-meeting became so great1 that we found it necessary to go to the large schoolroom4 ,this place will also be remembered in eternity1 and many a soul will say of it1 ,i was born there6 ,one night1 when ,i returned home from a distant meeting1 ,i was called to see a person in ,feat distress of soul4 ,as ,i went down the street at eleven o'clock1 ,i was surprised to see lights in almost all the houses1 and what was more1 to hear voices in urgent and importunate prayer1 as also the voice of thanks-giving4 ,the whole street was alive1 and indeed there was a most joyful noise on every side4 ,i was praying or rejoicing in one house or another all through the night1 which was one never to be forgotten4 ,a glorious work of salvation was going on without the extravagant noise and excitement we used to have in former years4 ,i was exceedingly thankful for this also1 and began next to consider what was to be done with these new converts4 ,besides inviting them to the church services1 for which they needed no pressing1 ,i urged them to read their ,bibles at home1 bidding them to mark any passages where they wished for explanation1 that ,i might have something good and profitable to speak about when ,i visited them4 ,then ,i invited them to ,bible-classes2 instead of to experience meetings1 which ,cornish people rely upon so much4 ,on these occasions ,i endeavoured to instruct the people from ,god's ,word1 and put ,christ before them as the object of faith1 hope1 and love4 ,after prayer ,i encouraged them to ask questions1 which made these gatherings interesting and also instructive on the very points upon which they required information4 ,i found that these ,bible-classes were a great blessing to those who attended them1 but more than all1 perhaps1 to myself2 watering other souls with the water of life ,i was more abundantly watered4 ,the questions of the people drew my attention to distinctions and differences ,i had not noticed before1 and helped to take off the coloured glasses through which ,i had hitherto read the ,word4 ,i observed that the third1 sixth1 and twentieth chapters of ,st4 ,john's ,gospel had been held and interpreted by me in a way that ,i now saw to be altogether wrong4 ,i had taken the first of these as bearing on ,baptism1 the second on the ,holy ,communion1 and the third on ,priestly ,absolution4 ,i pondered much over these chapters1 and marvelled how they could have been so diverted from their original and obvious meaning2 and1 more wonderful still1 that countless millions in ,christendom had so received them for many generations4 ,it was a bold thing1 and seemingly presumptuous to suppose that ,i was right and all ,christendom wrong2 but ,i soon found that mine was no new discovery1 and that if millions who followed traditions without comparing them with the ,bible1 thought on one side1 there were also millions who did read their ,bibles1 and thought on the other4 ,it was perfectly clear1 moreover1 that one obvious motive or policy had dictated the false application of the three chapters4 ,it will be observed that priest rule is established in them2 for1 according to this teaching1 no one can enter the kingdom of ,god 'without priestly operation in baptism2 no one abide or be fed in it without the same in ,holy ,communion2 nor any one receive absolution from sin1 and final release from hell to heaven1 apart from sacerdotal action4 ,on the other hand1 ,i saw spiritual men1 as sure as they were of their own existence that their new birth took place1 not at baptism1 but at their conversion4 ,therefore they were convinced that the third chapter of ,st4 ,john1 in which our ,lord's conversation with ,nicodemus is recorded1 refers to that spiritual change which takes place at conversion1 and not to baptism1 which was not even instituted for two or three years afterwards 7,matt4 #bh3ai74 ,again1 as to the sixth chapter4 ,a spiritual man knows that he feeds continually on the body and blood of ,christ1 it is the ,bread which came down from heaven for him4 ,the ,lord said1 ,he that eateth ,me1 even he shall live by ,me 7,john #f3eg74 ,they know how they received spiritual life1 and also how it is continually maintained2 therefore they could not allow themselves to be carried away with such a palpable fiction as transubstantiation1 or any other doctrine kindred to it4 ,the sixth chapter does not refer to the ,lord's supper1 but the ,lord's ,supper refers to the reality which is mentioned in it4 ,lastly1 as to the twentieth chapter of ,st4 ,john1 on the authority of which it is supposed and asserted that ,christ left power with ,his ,church and priests to forgive sins4 ,of this we may say1 ,he has not delegated any such powers at all4 ,when ,he gave commissions to ,his disciples 7not exclusively to the apostles71 ,he said1 ,lo1 ,i am with you4 ,our power is not imparted to us from ,him1 but is in ,him4 ,we have no power at all1 but in ,him1 and no grace but 'that which is in ,christ ,jesus 7#b ,tim4 #b3a74 ,it is ,his presence1 ,his real1 promised presence by the ,holy ,ghost1 which is spiritual power2 and this is given directly to individuals by ,god ,himself1 and is not transmitted through other channels4 ,the ,lord ,jesus1 on ,his resurrection day1 said to ,his disciples1 in the upper room--and1 be it remembered1 that all the eleven were not there 7and some women may have been7--,peace be unto you4 ,receive ye the ,holy ,ghost3 ,whose soever sins ye remit1 'they are remitted unto them2 and whose soever sins ye retain1 they are retained 7,john #bj3bc74 ,is it possible or reasonable to suppose that our ,lord intended by these words to constitute all that assembly absolving priests8 ,the apostles and early ,christians 7both men and women7 never thought so1 either before or even after the day of ,pentecost1 when they were taught and led by the ,holy ,ghost4 ,the apostles did not exercise any so-called priestly functions2 they all preached the ,gospel1 and as ministers and witnesses1 declared1 through ,jesus ,christ1 the forgiveness of sins4 ,their testimony was then1 as such testimony will ever be1 the savour of life or the savour of death4 ,it was thus they remitted and retained sins2 and yet not they1 but ,god by them4 ,while ,i was thus ruminating1 a book came into my hands which interested me greatly4 ,this ,i read and re-read1 and made an abstract of it4 ,it was the ,life of ,adelaide ,newton4 ,what struck me in it so much was1 to find that this lady was able to hold spiritual communion with ,god by means of a ,bible only4 ,is it possible1 ,i thought1 to have such close communion with ,god1 apart from the ,church and her ministrations8 ,i do not hesitate to say that this was the means1 under ,god1 of stripping off some remains of my grave-clothes1 and enabling me to walk in spiritual liberty1 instead of legal and sacramental bond age4 ,human reasoning would say1 ,what1 then1 is the use of ministry and sacraments8 ,let us dispense with them1 and be independent of them altogether4 ,this is no better than saying that we will continue in sin that grace may abound2 and the same answer which the apostle gives will do for this also3 ,god forbid6 ,it does not follow1 because some people make too much of ministry and sacraments1 making them absolutely necessary to salvation1 that we should1 on the other hand1 disregard them4 ,there is another and happier alternative1 and that is1 to realize they were made for us1 not we for them2 therefore we should not be subject to them1 but rather they should be subject to us1 and be used by us1 not in order to obtain ,god's grace and salvation1 but to show that we have already done so4 ,in our obedience to ,god's ordinances1 we acknowledge our allegiance to ,him1 and our submission to ,his will4 ,for fear that my people should go off1 as too many do1 into disregard of the means of grace1 because sacramental people make too much of them1 ,i began a class for exposition and explanation of the ,prayer-book4 ,i commenced by showing them that the ,church of ,england is the ,lord's candlestick in this country1 not the candle1 and certainly not the light1 but the candlestick which the ,lord set up here1 possibly even as 'early as the days of the apostles1 to show the true light1 which is ,christ4 ,and though1 ,romish corruptions supervened1 it pleased ,god1 at2 the time of the ,reformation1 to raise up men to deliver us from them1 and to restore true ,bible teaching4 ,thus ,i endeavoured to show them1 that the system of the ,church of ,england was one which should commend itself to their regard1 as quite agreeable to ,scripture2 and if it is not carried out according to its intention1 that is not the fault of the system1 but rather of those who administer it4 ,next1 as to worship4 ,the object of our assembling in the house of ,god is not1 ,i said1 so much to hear sermons1 or get instruction1 as in ,bible1 or other classes1 but rather to render thanks for the great benefits we have received at ,god's hands1 to set forth ,his most worthy praise1 to hear ,his most holy word1 and to ask those things which are requisite and necessary as well for the body as the soul4 ,that worship is devotion towards ,god2 it consists more in giving than in getting4 ,some of the people were greatly interested when ,i pointed out to them1 that the order of our ,service was exactly the same as the order of theft spiritual experience1 in conviction1 conversion1 and ,christian life4 ,for example1 the ,morning ,service begins with a sentence such as1 ,to the ,lord our ,god belong mercies and forgivenesses1 though we have rebelled against ,him2 then comes the exhortation1 which moves us to surrender ourselves2 then the confession1 which is the act of surrender4 ,immediately after this is declared the absolution and forgiveness of sins1 to all who truly repent1 and unfeignedly believe the ,gospel4 ,then comes the ,lord's ,prayer1 which leads us1 at once1 into the place of children1 accepted in the ,beloved3 then follow acts of thanksgiving3-- ,open ,thou my lips1 and my mouth shall show forth ,thy praise4 ,oh1 come let us sing unto the ,lord1 let us heartily rejoice in the strength of our salvation4 ,these1 and such-like explanations1 helped to enlist the interest of the people2 and when1 as before1 they only used to endure the prayers1 while waiting for the sermon1 now they engaged in them intelligently1 and even with more delight than in extempore prayer4 ,as to the ,communion ,service ,i bade them notice that it begins with the ,lord's ,prayer1 in which we draw near to our ,father1 not as sinners1 but as ,his children2 asking for a clean heart and for grace to live according to ,his will2 then1 we approach the table1 unworthy1 indeed1 to take even the crumbs under it1 but trusting in ,his mercy4 ,we do not go there to offer a sacrifice of ,christ's body1 but of our own as a thanksgiving to ,god1 offering and presenting ourselves--spirit1 soul1 and body--a living sacrifice to ,his service4 ,every week we took some subject from the ,prayer-book1 noticing the special seasons in their order1 such as ,advent1 ,christmas1 ,epiphany1 ,lent1 ,easter1 ,ascension1 and ,whitsuntide1 each with their respective teaching4 ,i was now happy in my work2 but it did not1 of course1 go on as sweetly as the theory sets it forth4 ,we made1 however1 as straight a course as we could1 under contending winds and currents4 ,the intelligent part of my congregation1 however interested they were in the work outside the church and the worship within1 nevertheless1 had their misgivings and doubts which they did not hide4 ,they said1 ,this teaching seems all true and scriptural2 but what will become of us if you go away1 and another man comes who thinks otherwise8 ,we have no security as in the chapels1 that conversion work will go on1 and living souls be fed and encouraged4 ,very few churches have such a work as the ,lord is doing here6 ,this1 indeed1 was the sad part of working in the ,church of ,england then4 ,even still1 there is much discouragement on this head2 and too many living souls1 who would not willingly go1 are driven away from their own ,church1 to seek teaching in other communions2 but they cannot take their children and servants to witness priestly ceremonials1 or to hear sacramental1 as opposed to spiritual teaching2 neither can they conscientiously give countenance to these things1 by going themselves4 ,however1 ,i endeavoured to pacify the people by begging them to be thankful for present privileges1 and to trust ,god to lead them for the future4 ,it is an awful thing to see and know that people come for bread1 and get a stone2 for fish1 and they get a serpent2 and for an egg1 they are offered a scorpion 7,luke #aa3aa1 #ab74 ,exceedingly trying it is to be frowned upon by clerical brethren in the presence of ,dissenters1 who1 to say the least1 do know the difference between life and death4 ,in one church we have the service elaborately rendered1 and the sermon is nothing2 in another the sermon is everything1 and the service most slovenly2 and1 too often1 souls remain unawakened1 and perishing on all sides4 ,,chapter #cc ,the ,work ,continued1 #ahei4 ,while ,i was at ,hayle1 ,i had so much to do among the people1 and so many meetings1 that ,i seldom had leisure to go out for preaching elsewhere2 nor do ,i remember that ,i had many invitations to do so4 ,occasionally ,i went to preach at ,penzance1 where a good work was steadily progressing at ,st4 ,paul's ,church2 but otherwise4 ,i seldom left my pulpit4 ,everything was now going on in a way which satisfied me1 after all my tossings to and fro4 ,i was surrounded with a happy people1 who were living and working for the ,lord4 ,all the week they were busy1 and also on the watch for souls4 ,on ,sunday they came regularly to church1 with an intelligent idea of worship1 and joined heartily in the services of the day4 ,at eight o'clock in the morning they assembled in large numbers for the ,holy ,communion2 then we had the usual morning and evening services in the church1 concluding with a prayer meeting4 ,in the afternoon we had something else4 ,there was the ,sunday school for some of our workers2 tract distribution for others3 many went out to preach in the villages2 and others went with me either to the sands1 the common1 or on board some ship1 for an evangelistic service4 ,the day of rest was not one of inactivity1 but of useful and happy occupation for the ,lord4 ,many a former ,sabbath-breaker1 now changed and rejoicing in ,god1 was amongst us1 delighting in the ,christian privilege of working for the ,master4 ,it was a day that many of them looked forward to and spent with intense delight2 and on ,monday evening we met to tell what we had seen and heard of the ,lord's goodness to ourselves and others4 ,whenever the good ship ,cornwall was in harbour1 it was expected there would be a preaching on board of her1 under the well-known ,bethel flag4 ,the mate of this vessel had been a terribly wicked man1 and a most daring blasphemer4 ,it pleased ,god to convert his soul in a remarkable manner2 and now nothing would do but he must work for ,god4 ,one ,sunday1 when he was at ,cardiff1 he heard that a vessel which had left that port on the previous ,friday morning had gone down with all hands4 ,he was greatly grieved about this2 for one of the seamen of the vessel was in former times a friend and companion of his4 ,he had prayed for his soul1 but hitherto without any success1 and this added to his grief4 ,to his amazement1 he saw his friend standing on the quay4 ,hallo6 he said1 ,i am glad to see you4 ,how is it you are here8 ,have you heard that your vessel has gone down with all hands8 ,has she1 indeed6 he exclaimed1 bursting out into tears2 then it is all my fault1 for ,i let her go short-handed4 ,after we set sail ,i had words with the captain1 so he dismissed me1 and ,i came back in the pilot boat4 ,it is all my fault6 ,this is the third time1 then1 that the ,lord has given you your life1 said ,sam4 ,you had better call on ,him to have mercy on your soul4 ,so saying1 he fell on his knees1 and began to pray for him4 ,his companion soon followed1 crying aloud for mercy4 ,though a crowd of people quickly assembled and stood round1 he took no heed1 but continued his supplication until he obtained mercy1 and could praise ,god4 ,seeing that some of the by-standers were looking anxious1 ,sam invited them on board his ship and had a meeting1 at which he told them how the ,lord had saved his soul4 ,having received much encouragement that day1 he determined1 if possible1 that he would get a ,bethel flag1 and hold services whenever and wherever he could4 ,on his arrival at ,hayle from ,cardiff1 he went at once to see the wife of the owner of the ship1 knowing that she took a great interest in the welfare of sailors4 ,he told her his plans1 and made his request for a ,bethel flag1 which this lady kindly and generously gave him permission to get4 ,on obtaining it1 ,sam came and asked me if ,i would preach at the first hoisting of it4 ,this ,i consented to do1 and on the following ,sunday afternoon we had a large concourse of people on board1 and also on the quay alongside4 ,i gave out the hymn3-- ,o ,god of ,bethel1 by whose hand ,thy people still are fed4 ,while ,i was giving it out1 ,sam ran his flag up to the masthead in the shape of a ball4 ,so it remained while we were singing2 and during the prayer which followed2 and when ,i gave out my text 7,gen4 #bh3ai71 ,he called the name of that place ,bethel1 ,sam pulled the halyard1 and the flag1 some eighteen or twenty feet long1 'flew out in all its grandeur4 ,before the sermon was finished1 some of the people began to cry for mercy1 and dear ,sam was in an ecstasy of delight1 and rejoiced aloud4 ',thus his flag was inaugurated with blessing from on high1 and ,many is the time since1 said #c;am1 when souls have been blessed under it1 both at ,cardiff and at ,hayle4 ,i have said nothing about the infidels ,i had to work amongst when ,i first came to this place4 ,some of them raged and opposed themselves against us for a time1 but one by one the ringleaders of this party were brought to ,god1 and eventually their club dwindled away4 ,the history concerning some ,i have already published in tracts2 but there is one case ,i feel ,i must insert here1 for besides being a remarkable history1 there is much teaching in it4 ,it is the story of a man who professed to be an infidel1 and used to speak very freely of things which he said he did not believe4 ,for instance1 he boasted that he did not believe in ,god or the ,bible1 ,christ or devil1 heaven or hell2 though ,i must say he seemed to believe in himself very considerably4 ,it was very difficult to deal with a man who took his stand upon nothing but negatives4 ,he was well known among his neighbours1 dreaded by some and quite a mystery to others4 ,he was continually to be seen about with a gun1 especially on ,sundays1 when he was not ashamed to be thus desecrating ,god's holy day2 on the contrary1 he rather prided himself on not shifting his working-day clothes1 when other people were dressed in their best4 ,it was sad to see a man of such intelligence and capacity defying public respect and opinion1 and trampling upon every sense of right and propriety4 ,there is generally a reason1 if we can only discover it1 why people outrage public opinion1 and break out of the stream and path of their fellow-men4 ,one ,sunday evening1 however1 after a day spent as usual1 in idling about and shooting little birds1 our friend ,john was observed by a woman standing outside a church1 under the window nearest to the pulpit4 ,he stood there1 listening very attentively to the sermon1 till it was over2 and then1 before the congregation could come out1 he made off stealthily and hastily1 to escape observation4 ,but passing near the woman who had been watching him1 she heard him say1 with a look of distress on his countenance1 ,it's no use--the devil's sure to have me6 ,it doesn't matter6 ,this woman told me on ,monday morning what she had seen and heard2 so ,i determined to go at once and see the man4 ,it was not his dinner-time yet2 but ,i thought ,i would have a little conversation with his wife before he came home4 ,to my surprise1 however1 ,i found him there4 ,what1 not working today1 ,john8 ,i said4 ,what's the matter8 ,i ain't very well1 he answered4 ,i got no sleep last night2 but ,i mean to work in the afternoon1 for all that1 he continued1 with an air of determination and defiance4 ,what's the matter8 ,have you got anything on your mind8 ,i inquired4 ,mind8 he repeated1 as if in contempt at the thought4 ,there is not much that ever troubles my mind4 ,he then went on to give me a long account of his bodily ailments4 ,but do you never think about your soul1 ,john8 ,i asked2 never think about another world and eternity8 ,soul and eternity6 ,i don't believe in either the one or the other of them6 ,not believe you have a soul6 ,come1 ,john1 ,i am sure you know better than that4 ,and ,i went on to speak of the joys of heaven and the bitter torments of hell2 of the love of ,god1 who willeth not the death of the sinner1 but rather that he should turn and live2 and then ,i proceeded to tell him of the atonement which ,jesus ,christ finished on the cross1 and that now there is pardon for the vilest sinner through the efficacy of the blood which has been shed once for all4 ,you know1 ,john1 ,i continued1 that ,i do not care to argue about these things4 ,there is mercy for you1 if you will have it4 ,we can bring water to the horses1 but we cannot make them drink4 ,my business is to put the way of pardon and salvation plainly before you2 and after that1 if you reject it1 it will be your own fault if you perish4 ,do you know how to get forgiveness of sins8 ,he seemed very uneasy all the time ,i was speaking2 and at length1 after a pause1 he looked me in the face with a hardened expression1 and said1 ,there's no pardon for me--,i know it4 ,that cannot be1 ,i said2 ,i do not believe it4 ,no1 he continued1 there's no pardon for me4 ,i have known that for fourteen years4 ,i inwardly resolved to get this dreadful secret from him1 which was driving him to such evident desperation4 ,a few days afterwards an opportunity occurred1 and ,i pressed upon him for his own sake to tell me1 or some one else1 what had happened fourteen years ago2 and what special communication he had had with another world4 ,oh1 he said1 ,i never told anybody2 but ,i would as soon tell you as any one else4 ,i had a dream once---do you ever have dreams8 ,i have many things told me in dreams4 ,then he was silent2 but ,i was more curious than ever now1 and begged him to tell me what had happened4 ,at last he began1 ,i dreamt that ,i was walking along a broad smooth road1 where everything was most lovely2 the weather was fine1 and the scenery grand2 there were beautiful gardens1 churches1 chapels1 theatres1 houses1 and indeed everything you could think of4 ,the people all seemed to be delighting in it1 and as though they were out for a holiday4 ,some were walking1 some singing1 some dancing1 and in one way or the other they all appeared to be enjoying themselves beyond bounds4 ,seeing a workman in a field close by1 ,i called to him1 and asked ',where does this road lead to8' ,he answered1 ',to hell1 straight on2 you cannot miss6' ',hell6' ,i was surprised2 ',hell1' ,i said to myself1 'this is very different to what ,i thought4 ,is the way to hell as pleasant as this8 and are people so unconcerned about it8' ,i was amazed2 but though the man told me this pleasant road led to hell1 ,i did not stop2 ,i went on and on1 seemingly as pleased as others were4 ,however1 it did not continue like this long1 for soon ,i came to a rough part1 all up and down1 where the atmosphere was thick and sulphury1 and it was almost dark4 ,i did not like it1 and wished very much to get out of the place1 but ,i could not4 ,seeing some people in the distance1 ,i went near to ask them the way out4 ,they were busy with long rakes raking cinders about on the dry ground1 and would not answer my urgent inquiries4 ,as ,i approached them ,i saw that they did not look like 'humans1' and that every now and then fire appeared from under ground1 over which they raked cinders to keep it out of sight4 ,they were so absorbed in their work that they did not heed my question1 though ,i pleaded more and more earnestly4 ,at last1 ,i observed that one of them ceased from his strange work1 and looked at me2 whereupon ,i addressed myself to him1 begging him to show me the way out of the place4 ,john added1 ,if ,i ever prayed in my life ,i prayed then2 but he shook his head as if he pitied me1 and said mournfully1 ',the way you came in1' ,i replied1 ',i cannot find it'2 then again he shook his head as if to say1 ',you never will4' ,i was obliged to rise from my knees1 for the ground was so hot1 and in my despair ,i ran ,i know not whither4 ,as ,i passed along in haste1 ,i came to cracks in the ground full of fire2 ,i stepped over them one after another1 and ran on till ,i came to such a large chasm1 that ,i could not jump over it4 ,i turned and went in another direction1 leaping and running1 in a state of terror1 till at last ,i came upon a sheet of glowing fire1 into which ,i fell4 ,then ,i awoke4 ,for fourteen years this has followed me2 there is no hope for me6 ,by this time he became very much excited and agitated3 seizing his cap he ran out of the house1 leaving his wife and myself in mute astonishment at his strange tale4 ,i went home pondering over the meaning of this dream1 and was struck at the amount of truth in it4 ,i thought--,how fair are the promises of the world to begin with1 and how delusive and disappointing they are at the end6 ,of course1 ,satan1 the god of this world1 will make the way to hell as bright and pleasing as he possibly can2 and if people take outward circumstances and pleasing prospects for indications of safety1 they wilfully lay themselves open to this deadly delusion4 ,what a number there are who know1 or might know1 that they are on the road to hell2 that they cannot miss2 and yet they go on6 ,and then how many people there are who rake cinders2 that is1 when thoughts of death1 or judgment1 or hell1 obtrude themselves1 how readily they cover them over with hopes of escape1 or some good intentions to be better1 before it is too late6 ,how often parents do the same for their children1 for they cannot bear to think of their being lost forever2 so they hope that somehow they will be changed before they die6 ,how often preachers rake cinders also1 by addressing their hearers as if they were all safe1 and only wanted a little teaching now and then2 and it may be a little warning occasionally6 ,they cannot bear to tell them plainly that they are lost now1 and may be lost for ever1 if they do not repent and believe the ,gospel2 they would rather be persuaded better things of them1 and things which accompany salvation1 though they know for certain that there are many unsaved ones in their congregation4 ,they entertain them with good hearty services and pleasing sermons1 and then let them go on their way to the solemn end1 perfectly unconscious of any danger4 ,the ,lord ,jesus had no such false charity as this4 ,he has told us plainly that we are all perishing creatures1 and that there is no hope for any one of us while we are still on the broad road to ruin and in an unchanged state2 that we must be born again or we cannot see the kingdom of ,god2 that we must believe on the ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 who died in our stead on the cross1 or perish for ever4 ,preachers therefore ought to be more faithful1 because life is so uncertain1 and the warnings of ,god so sure4 ,well did ,john dream that they did not look like human beings1 who were raking cinders to keep the fire out of sight4 ,after some days ,i got light on the subject of this awful dream1 and hastened to tell ,john that ,i had found the way out of that fearful place for him4 ,he would not hear me for some time2 but ,i told him1 that the prodigal son said1 ,i will arise and go to my ,father1 and say unto ,him1 ,i have sinned4 ,you see1 ,john1 ,i continued1 he came back the way he went1 and he found pardon2 that is the way for you4 ,i then knelt down and prayed1 and he knelt with me at his table4 ,there he remained for four hours1 without speaking a word1 until ,i was thoroughly exhausted and obliged to go4 ,no sooner had ,i gone1 than ,john's heart failed him1 and he burst out crying aloud1 and said to his wife1 ,oh1 ,mary1 what shall ,i do8 ,what shall ,i do8 ,take the book and read1 she said1 pushing the ,bible along the table to him4 ,it was open at the fifteenth chapter of ,st4 ,luke1 where he read the words aloud1 ,i will arise and go to my ,father and will say unto him1 ,father1 ,i have sinned4 ,the spell was broken and the string of his tongue loosed1 so that he cried aloud for mercy4 ,this was no unusual thing in one house or another2 but in this particular dwelling it was wonderful4 ,his next-door neighbour1 who had often heard the sound of cursing and swearing there1 but never the voice of prayer1 was so astonished1 that he rose and came to the door to assure himself of the astonishing fact4 ,it was quite true2 surely it was ,john's own voice praying4 ,so1 lifting the latch1 he went in and shouted1 ,glory to ,god6 ,the louder ,william shouted1 the louder ,john cried for mercy4 ,when listening to his friend1 who pointed him to the ,lamb of ,god1 who taketh away the sin of the world1 he found that ,there is life for a look at the ,crucified ,one2 and then they shouted and praised ,god together4 ,it was a joyful meeting when ,i saw him again1 and thanked ,god with him for the marvellous change which had been wrought in his soul4 ,his very face was altered2 and instead of the restless and defiant glare there used to be in his countenance1 there was rest and cheerfulness4 ,i pointed out to him1 from that same portion of the ,word of ,god which had been blessed to his soul1 that there was something more to be had than the pardon that he had already received2 that there was also the best robe1 the ring1 the shoes1 and the feast of rejoicing4 ,the ,father's arms round the neck of the prodigal son is a token of forgiveness---the robe1 of righteousness divine which is imputed to us2 the ring1 of our union with ,christ2 the shoes1 of strength1 even grace1 with which we walk2 and the feast of rejoicing1 the believer's privilege of joy and thanksgiving4 ,john's conversion was a remarkable event1 and caused a great sensation2 crowds of his fellow-work-mates used to stand round him while he told his wonderful story4 ,oh1 he said1 ,i used to say there was no hell1 when all the time ,i had it burning in my heart2 but1 glory be to ,god1 ,i am saved from hell to heaven6 ,he seldom prayed in public after this1 without begging the ,lord to loose the string of the tongue2 for1 as he said 7speaking from experience71 so many are held captive by that dumb devil4 ,he became a true missionary for souls1 and was very zealous in his testimony1 especially amongst his old companions1 who worked in the same factory3 he had the joy of seeing many of them brought to the ,lord4 ,john seemed to realize unseen things in an unusually striking way4 ,he was a man who in his sleep had vivid dreams1 and who in his waking hours pondered much upon eternal realities1 so that he spoke as one who lived in sight of another world4 ,,chapter #cd ,the ,dismissal1 #ahfj-fa ,of this work at ,hayle was not a success1 in every sense of the word1 ,i do not yet know what success in parochial ministry is4 ,if large congregations may be counted2 many communicants taken into reckoning2 with frequent services1 and schools full of children--we certainly had these4 ,but above all1 we had a continual ingathering of souls1 who will testify throughout eternity of the blessedness and reality of the work of ,god during the time ,i was there4 ,it so happened that as we approached the term of three years1 of which ,i had been premonished when ,i first came1 that my dear friend1 ,mr4 ,aitken1 came to pay us a visit4 ,he preached with more amazing power than ever4 ,his appeals were altogether overwhelming1 and ,i do not wonder that the people fell on their knees1 as they did then and there1 and cried aloud for mercy4 ,a newspaper reporter who came to hear this great man preach1 was at first observed to be writing very diligently2 then he paused1 and his hand fell2 then his pencil and book went from his grasp2 presently he himself fell on his knees1 and began to cry for mercy4 ,we were curious afterwards to read his report4 ,in it the grateful man acknowledged his indebtedness1 and the blessing he had received4 ,as to the sermon1 he likened it to one of the storms of the great ,atlantic4 ,he said4 ,at such a time it is interesting to stand on the shore and watch the sea1 and to note the power of wind and waves while the storm is raging4 ,even then it is sometimes terrific enough2 but how much more so when the wind veers and the mighty waves come rolling in one after another1 and breaking with tremendous force upon the rocks on which we stand6 ,so it was with this preacher4 ,all eyes were fixed on him when he gave out his text1 and proceeded with his usual introduction4 ,now and then he alarmed and roused us with the power of his oratory2 but when he turned to apply his subject to the consciences of the people1 he became irresistible4 ,immediately1 there was heard on all sides a cry for mercy4 ,the stentorian voice of the preacher was audible above all others as he went on to apply the ,word with unrelenting force1 till very few hearts1 however hard1 remained unbroken4 ,this was a memorable day with us4 ,twice was the church filled and emptied2 and again a third time1 in the evening1 the people crowded in and filled the place4 ,far into the night we wrought amongst the anxious and broken-hearted1 bidding them to look at the ,crucified ,one and live4 ,mr4 ,aitken was not a man who raked cinders over the fire1 but rather raked them off and that in true kindness and love2 but with terrible and awful plainness he showed the danger of trifling with the ,gospel1 and presuming upon ,god's love and forbearance4 ,on ,monday evening we invited the people to assemble in the large schoolroom1 which was filled to excess4 ,here ,i thought that the schoolmaster's desk would have been demolished under the tremendous energy and force1 both mental and physical1 of this preacher4 ,at the first sign of a breakdown among the people1 the great1 tall man1 in his long coat or cassock1 came majestically striding out from behind the desk4 ,that was enough4 ,a hard rough-looking sailor1 who was sitting by1 with his eyes fixed on ,mr4 ,aitken for a long time1 fell on his knees and began to roar aloud for mercy1 and very many others followed his example4 ,i asked this man afterwards what it was that had had such an effect upon him8 ,oh1 he replied1 drawing his breath1 as if he had scarcely yet recovered from the shock1 that big man was bad enough the other side of the desk1 but when he came forth to the front1 ,i didn't know what would happen to me4 ,i was obliged to cry out for mercy2 ,i couldn't help it4 ,the big man1 like the ,stormy ,petrel1 was just in his element in such a scene4 ,in the gladness and joy of his heart he rejoiced and shouted1 ,glory--glory be to ,god6 in a way which no one else could imitate or follow4 ,in the midst of this scene of confusion 7as it must have appeared to an outside observer1 if such an one was there71 sat a woman1 looking on at the people praying and praising ,god1 when all at once ,mr4 ,aitken turned suddenly upon her and said1 ,and you1 my sister6 ,immediately she gave a scream1 and was down on her knees in a moment1 crying for mercy as loud as the loudest4 ,if ,cornish people like a noise1 they certainly had it that evening to their hearts' content4 ,as ,i have said before1 when there is a real power of the ,spirit present1 the outpouring of the heart with noisy demonstration is joyous to those who go with the stream1 and are in sympathy with it2 but if those present stop to doubt the propriety of such an outcry1 and begin to rebuke those who make it1 then ,i think the answer that the ,lord gave the ,pharisees would still be applicable3 ,i tell you that1 if these should hold their peace1 the stones would immediately cry out 7,luke #ai3dj74 ,it was a great triumph1 and the rams' horns did more execution in these two days than the silver trumpets had done in as many yearn4 ,the next day1 as soon as ,mr4 ,aitken had gone1 the rector came to see me4 ,he appeared to be somewhat embarrassed at first1 but after a little time said 7looking on the ground71 ,you know ,i am no revivalist4 ,i do not like all this uproar4 ,i cannot have it4 ,he then went on to say that he wished me to leave1 for though he had given a guarantee that if ,i succeeded1 he would build me a church and endow it1 he could not do anything of the kind now1 for he did not consider my work any success whatever--quite the contrary4 ,these converted people 7as you call them7 are no churchmen6 ,i replied1 that ,i had taken his voice as from ,god in inviting me1 and ,i supposed that ,i must take the same for my dismissal1 if he really intended it2 but ,i urged upon him to consider the matter well before he broke up the work which was going on there1 for whatever he thought about it1 it was undoubtedly a work of ,god1 though one certainly not very common in churches4 ,without saying another word he took up his hat and went away4 ,his departure was so abrupt that ,i could not believe he intended me to receive this as six months' notice4 ,consequently1 ,i went on with my work as usual1 finding plenty to do1 more especially after ,mr4 ,aitken's energetic visit4 ,there were many new converts to add to our classes2 anxious ones to be guided and led to ,christ2 and broken-hearted and despairing ones to be comforted and built up4 ,the work under such a preacher is by no means finished with his visit1 however long or short it may be2 but1 on the contrary1 it may rather be said to begin there4 ,after some months1 the rector came again to remind me that he had given me notice more than five months before1 and that he wished me to leave at the beginning of the year1 as he had secured the services of a clergyman whose views were in accordance with his own4 ,i was much grieved at this and could only lay it before the ,lord1 and beg of ,him to order all according to ,his will4 ,the following morning1 without any seeking on my part1 ,i received an invitation from ,bath1 asking me to come and take charge of the district of ,st4 ,paul's1 in the parish of ,holy ,trinity4 ,thus was the door shut behind me1 and another opened in front4 ,this was so unmistakable1 that ,i could not but be satisfied1 and acquiesce in the manifest will of ,god2 though1 naturally1 ,i felt great sorrow at having to leave the people and the work ,i loved so well4 ,i said nothing about my dismissal1 but went on with my various engagements as usual1 though ,i had only a little more than three weeks left me4 ,by some means it appeared in the newspapers1 that ,i was appointed to a district in ,bath1 and another clergyman was named as my successor at ,st4 ,john's1 ,hayle4 ,this fell as a great blow upon my people1 who were both grieved and angry2 but ,i could not comfort them1 any more than ,i could help myself4 ,the last ,christmas-day came and went1 a sad and sorrowful day it was2 then the last day of the year1 and the last night4 ,we held our watch-night service as usual1 thanking ,god for the mercies of the past1 and entered upon the new year with thanksgiving and prayer4 ,thus ended my work1 and eventful sojourn at ,hayle1 a little more than three years after it began4 ,a very sorrowful trial it was1 and one of bitter disappointment2 but the ,lord's leading was clear1 and ,i have since proved that it was all right1 though at the time it was most mysterious and very dark4 ,a few weeks before leaving ,hayle1 as ,i was sitting by the fire one wet afternoon1 my eyes fell on a little coloured picture on the mantle-piece1 which had been the companion of my journeys for all the twenty years of which ,i have been writing4 ,it was a quaint mediaeval illustration of ,moses lifting up the serpent in the wilderness1 copied from a valuable manuscript 7,book of ,prayers7 in the ,bodleian ,library at ,oxford4 ,as ,i looked at the engraving before me1 ,i began to suspect for the first time that there was a design in the arrangement of the figures1 and that it was really intended to convey some particular teaching4 ,i took it in my hand and studied it1 when ,i observed that the cross or pole on which the serpent was elevated stood in the centre1 dividing two sets of characters1 and that there were serpents on one side1 and none on the other4 ,behind the figure of ,moses1 is a man standing with his arms crossed on his breast1 looking at the brazen serpent4 ,he has evidently obtained life and healing by a look4 ,on the other side1 ,i observed that there were four kinds of persons represented1 who were not doing as this healed one did to obtain deliverance4 ,first1 there is one who is kneeling in front of the cross1 but he is looking towards ,moses1 and not at the serpent1 and apparently confessing to him as if he were a priest4 ,next behind him is one lying on his back1 as if he was perfectly safe1 though he is evidently in the midst of danger2 for a serpent may be seen at his ear1 possibly whispering ,peace1 peace1 when there is no peace4 ,still further back from the cross there is a man with a sad face doing a work of mercy1 binding up the wounds of a fellow-sufferer1 and little suspecting that he himself is involved in the same danger4 ,behind them all1 on the background1 is a valiant man who is doing battle with the serpents1 which may be seen rising against him in unabating persistency4 ,i observed that none of these men were looking at the brazen serpent as they were commanded to do4 ,i cannot describe how excited and interested ,i became2 for ,i saw in this illustration a picture of my own life4 ,here was the way of salvation clearly set forth1 and four ways which are not the way of salvation1 all of which ,i had tried and found unavailing4 ,this was the silent but speaking testimony of some unknown denizen of a cloister1 who lived in the beginning of the fifteenth century1 in the days of ignorance and superstition4 ,but notwithstanding this darkness1 he was brought out into the marvellous light of the ,gospel1 and has left this interesting record of his experience4 ,like him1 ,i also had fought with serpents1 for ,i began in my own strength to combat with sin1 and strove by my own resolutions to overcome4 ,from this1 ,i went on to do good works1 and works of mercy1 in the vain hope of thus obtaining the same for myself4 ,then1 ,i relied in the ,church for salvation1 as ,god's appointed ark of safety2 but not feeling secure1 ,i took another step beyond1 and sought forgiveness through the power of the priest4 ,this ,i found was as ineffectual as all my previous efforts4 ,at last1 ,i was brought 7by the ,spirit of ,god7 as a wounded and dying sinner1 to look at the ,crucified ,one4 ,then 7as ,i have related71 ,i found pardon and peace4 ,ever since it has been my joy and privilege 7like ,moses pointing to the serpent7 to cry1 ,behold the ,lamb of ,god which taketh away the sin of the world 7,john #a3bi74 ,i have determined to know nothing but ,jesus ,christ and ,him crucified2 that is1 to tell only of the person and office of ,jesus ,christ our ,lord4 ,nearly twenty years have elapsed since the period at which this book closes199 and1 during all that time ,i have verified the truth and reality of the teaching and experience ,i have recorded in this volume4 ,all these years1 with their months1 weeks1 and days have passed by1 and have found me continually rejoicing in the work of the ,lord--often wearied in it1 but never of it--often tempted to falter1 but al ways enabled to persevere4 ,i have seen many rise and start well1 who have collapsed or retired2 many who have blazed like a meteor for a short time1 and then disappeared from the scene4 99 ,i may1 perhaps1 at some future time1 give an account of these latter twenty years4 ,may ,i here1 in a few parting words to the reader1 tell how it is that ,i have been kept4 ,i believe it is--first1 ,because ,i have never failed to insist upon the absolute necessity of conversion1 saying in the words of the ,master1 ,marvel not1 ,ye must be born again 7,john #c3g74 ,secondly1 ,because ,i have preached nothing but what is taken from the ,word1 and required nothing to be believed for ,salvation and ,edification1 but what can be proved thereby4 ,thirdly1 because ,i have exhorted living souls with purpose of heart to cleave unto the ,lord2 firmly believing that ,he who died to save1 rose again from the dead1 and lives to keep ,his people4 ,when we are saved1 we are debtors to ,god1 to devote ourselves to ,his service1 and for ,his glory3 besides this1 we are debtors to men1 to make known to them the grace which we have received2 and we1 as faithful stewards of ,god should be ever ready 7and not ashamed7 to preach the ,gospel1 for1 ,it is the power of ,god unto salvation to everyone that believeth 7,rom4 #a3af74 ,brockville1 ,canada3 ,the ,standard ,book ,room4