,,flames ,,by ,,robert ,,hichens ,,author ,,of ,,the ,,garden ,,of ,,allah1 ,,etc4 ,,copyright1 #ahig1 ,,by ,,herbert ,s4 ,,stone ,,co4 ,this edition published ,july1 #aijf1 by ,duffield ,company ,,book ,i--,,valentine ,,chapter ,i ,,the ,,saint ,,of ,,victoria ,,street ,refinement had more power over the soul of ,valentine ,cresswell than religion4 ,it governed him with a curious ease of supremacy1 and held him back without effort from most of the young man's sins4 ,each age has its special sins4 ,each age passes them1 like troops in review1 before it decides what regiment it will join4 ,valentine had never decided to join any regiment4 ,the trumpets of vice rang in his ears in vain1 mingled with the more classical music of his life as the retreat from the barracks of ,seville mingled with the click of ,carmen's castanets4 ,but he heeded them not4 ,if he listened to them sometimes1 it was only to wonder at the harsh and blatant nature of their voices1 only to pity the poor creatures who hastened to the prison1 which youth thinks freedom and old age protection1 at their shrieking summons4 ,he preferred to be master of his soul1 and had no desire to set it drilling at the command of painted women1 or to drown it in wine1 or to suffocate it in the smoke at which the voluptuary tries to warm his hands1 mistaking it for fire4 ,intellectuality is to some men what religion is to many women1 a trellis of roses that bars out the larger world4 ,valentine loved to watch the roses bud and bloom as he sat in his flower-walled cell1 a deliberate and rejoicing prisoner4 ,for a long time he loved to watch them4 ,and he thought that it must always be so1 for he was not greatly given to moods1 and therefore scarcely appreciated the thrilling meaning of the word change1 that is the key-word of so many a life cipher4 ,he loved the pleasures of the intellect so much that he made the mistake of opposing them1 as enemies1 to the pleasures of the body4 ,the reverse mistake is made by the generality of men2 and those who deem it wise to mingle the sharply contrasted ingredients that form a good recipe for happiness are often dubbed incomprehensible1 or worse4 ,but there were moments at a period of ,valentine's life when he felt discontented at his strange inability to long for sin2 when he wondered1 rather wearily1 why he was rapt from the follies that other men enjoyed2 why he could refuse1 without effort1 the things that they clamoured after year by year with an unceasing gluttony of appetite4 ,the saint quarrelled mutely with his holiness of intellectuality1 and argued1 almost fiercely1 with his cold and delicate purity4 ,why am ,i like some ivory statue8 he thought sometimes1 instead of like a human being1 with drumming pulses1 and dancing longings1 and voices calling forever in my ears1 like voices of sirens1 ',come1 come1 rest in our arms1 sleep on our bosoms1 for we are they who have given joy to all men from the beginning of time4 ,we are they who have drawn good men from their sad goodness1 and they have blessed us4 ,we are they who have been the allegory of the sage and the story of the world4 ,in our soft arms the world has learned the glory of embracing4 ,on our melodious hearts the hearts of men have learned the sweet religion of singing4' ,why cannot ,i be as other men are1 instead of the ,saint--the saint of ,victoria ,street--that ,i am8 ,for1 absurdly enough1 that was the name his world gave to ,valentine4 ,this is not an age of romance1 and he did not dwell1 like the saints of old centuries1 in the clear solitudes of the great desert1 but in what the advertisement writer calls a commodious flat in ,victoria ,street4 ,no little jackals thronged about him in sinful circle by night4 ,no school of picturesque disciples surrounded him by day4 ,if he peeped above his blinds he could see the radiant procession of omnibuses on their halting way towards ,westminster4 ,the melodies of wandering organs sang in his ascetic ears1 not once1 nor twice1 but many times a week4 ,the milk-boy came1 it must be presumed1 to pay his visit in the morning2 and the sparrows made the air alive1 poising above the chimneys1 instead of the wild eagles1 whose home is near the sun4 ,valentine was a modern young man of twenty-four1 dealt at the ,army and ,navy ,stores1 was extremely well off1 and knew everybody4 ,he belonged to the best clubs and went occasionally to the best parties4 ,his tailor had a habitation in ,sackville ,street1 and his gloves came from the ,burlington ,arcade4 ,he often lunched at the ,berkeley and frequently dined at ,willis's4 ,also he had laughed at the antics of ,arthur ,roberts1 and gazed through a pair of gold-mounted opera-glasses at ,empire ballets and at the discreet juggleries of ,paul ,cinquevalli4 ,the romance of cloistered saintliness was not his4 ,if it had been he might never have rebelled4 ,for how often it is romance which makes a home for religion in the heart of man1 romance which feathers the nest of purity in which the hermit soul delights to dwell6 ,is it not that bizarre silence of the ,algerian waste which leads many a ,trappist to his fate1 rather than the strange thought of ,god calling his soul to heavenly dreams and ecstatic renunciations8 ,is it not the wild poetry of the sleeping snows by night that gives to the ,st4 ,bernard monk his holiest meditations8 ,when the organ murmurs1 and he kneels in that remote chapel of the clouds to pray1 is it not the religion of his wonderful earthly situation and prospect that speaks to him loudly1 rather than the religion of the far-off ,power whose hands he believes to hold the threads of his destinies8 ,even the tonsure is a psalm to some1 and the robe and cowl a litany4 ,the knotted cord is a mass and the sandal a prayer4 ,but ,valentine had been a saint by temperament1 it seemed1 and would be a saint by temperament to the end4 ,he had not been scourged to a prayerful attitude by sorrow or by pain4 ,tears had not made a sea to float him to repentance or to purity4 ,apparently he had been given what men call goodness as others are given moustaches or a cheerful temper4 ,when his contemporaries wondered at him1 he often found himself wondering still more at them4 ,why did they love coarse sins8 he thought4 ,why did they fling themselves down1 like dogs1 to roll in offal8 ,he could not understand1 and for a long time he did not wish to understand4 ,but one night the wish came to him1 and he expressed it to his bosom friend1 ,julian ,addison4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,a ,,question ,,of ,,exchange ,most of us need an opposite to sit by the hearth with us sometimes1 and to stir us to wonder or to war4 ,julian was ,valentine's singularly complete and perfect opposite1 in nature if not in deeds4 ,but1 after all1 it is the thoughts that are of account rather than the acts1 to a mind like ,valentine's4 ,he knew that ,julian's nature was totally unlike his own1 so singularly unlike that ,julian struck just the right note to give the strength of a discord to the chord--that often seemed a common chord--of his own harmony4 ,long ago1 for this reason1 or for no special reason1 he had grown to love ,julian4 ,theirs was a fine1 clean specimen of friendship4 ,how fine1 ,valentine never rightly knew until this evening4 ,they were sitting together in ,valentine's flat in that hour when he became serious and expansive4 ,he had rather a habit of becoming serious toward midnight1 especially if he was with only one person2 and no desire to please interfered with his natural play of mind and of feeling when he was with ,julian4 ,to affect any feeling with ,julian would have seemed like being on conventional terms with an element1 or endeavouring to deceive one's valet about one's personal habits4 ,long ago ,julian and he had1 in mind1 taken up their residence together1 fallen into the pleasant custom of breakfasting1 lunching1 and dining on all topics in common4 ,valentine knew of no barriers between them4 ,and so1 now1 as they sat smoking1 he expressed his mood without fear or hesitation4 ,the room in which they were was small4 ,it was named the tentroom1 being hung with dull-green draperies1 which hid the ceiling and fell loosely to the floor on every side4 ,a heavy curtain shrouded the one door4 ,on the hearth flickered a fire1 before which lay ,valentine's fox-terrier1 ,rip4 ,julian was half lying down on a divan in an unbuttoned attitude4 ,valentine leaned forward in an arm-chair4 ,they were smoking cigarettes4 ,julian1 ,valentine said1 meditatively1 ,i sometimes wonder why you and ,i are such great friends4 ,how abominable of you6 ,to seek a reason for friendship is as inhuman as to probe for the causes of love4 ,don't1 for goodness' sake1 let your intellect triumph over your humanity1 ,valentine4 ,of all modern vices1 that seems to me the most loathsome4 ,but you could never fall into anything loathsome4 ,you are sheeted against that danger with plate armour4 ,nonsense6 ,but you are4 ,it sometimes seems to me that you and ,i are like ,elijah and ,elisha1 in a way4 ,but ,i am covetous of your mantle4 ,then you want me to be caught from you into heaven8 ,no4 ,i should like you to give me your mantle1 your powers1 your nature1 that is1 and to stay here as well4 ,and send the chariot of fire to the coach-house1 and the horses of fire to the nearest stables8 ,exactly6 ,well1 but give me a reason for this rascally craving4 ,a reason6 ,oh1 ,i hate my nature and ,i love yours4 ,what a curse it is to go through life eternally haunted by one's self2 worse than being married to an ugly and boring wife4 ,now you are being morbid4 ,well1 ,i'm telling you just how ,i feel4 ,that is being morbid4 ,recording to some people who claim to direct ,society4 ,the world's ,county ,council1 who would like to abolish all the public bars4 ,and force us to do our drinking in the privacy of our bedrooms4 ,you would never do any drinking1 ,valentine4 ,how could you1 the ,saint of ,victoria ,street8 ,i begin to hate that nickname4 ,and he frowned slowly4 ,tall1 fair1 curiously innocent-looking1 his face was the face of a blonde ascetic4 ,his blue eyes were certainly not cold1 but nobody could imagine that they would ever gleam with passion or with desire as they looked upon sin4 ,his mouth seemed made for prayer1 not for kisses2 and so women often longed to kiss it4 ,over him1 indeed1 intellectuality hung like a light veil1 setting him apart from the uproar which the world raises while it breaks the ten commandments4 ,julian1 on the other hand1 was brown1 with bright1 eager eyes1 and the expression of one who was above all things intensely human4 ,valentine had ever been1 and still remained1 to him a perpetual wonder1 a sort of beautiful mystery4 ,he actually reverenced this youth who stood apart from all the muddy ways of sin1 too refined1 as it seemed1 rather than too religious1 to be attracted by any wile of the devil's1 too completely artistic to feel any impulse towards the subtle violence which lurks in all the vagaries of the body4 ,valentine was to ,julian a god1 but in their mutual relations this fact never became apparent4 ,on the contrary1 ,valentine was apt to look up to ,julian with admiration1 and the curious respect often felt by those who are good by temperament for those who are completely human4 ,and ,julian loved ,valentine for looking up to him1 finding in this absurd modesty of his friend a crowning beauty of character4 ,he had never told ,valentine the fact that ,valentine kept him pure1 held his bounding nature in leash1 was the wall of fire that hedged him from sin1 the armour that protected him against the assaults of self4 ,he had never told ,valentine this secret1 which he cherished with the exceeding and watchful care men so often display in hiding that which does them credit4 ,for who is not a pocket ,byron nowadays8 ,but to-night was fated by the ,immortals to be a night of self-revelation4 ,and ,valentine led the way by taking a step that surprised ,julian not a little4 ,for as ,valentine frowned he said3 ,yes1 ,i begin to hate my nickname1 and ,i begin to hate myself4 ,julian could not help smiling at the absurdity of this bemoaning4 ,what is it in yourself that you hate so much8 he asked1 with a decided curiosity4 ,valentine sat considering4 ,well1 he replied at length1 ,i think it is my inhumanity1 which robs me of many things4 ,i don't desire the pleasures that most men desire1 as you know4 ,but lately ,i have often wished to desire them4 ,rather an elaborate state of mind4 ,yet a state easy to understand1 surely4 ,julian1 emotions pass me by4 ,why is that8 ,deep love1 deep hate1 despair1 desire1 won't stop to speak to me4 ,men tell me ,i am a marvel because ,i never do as they do4 ,but ,i am not driven as they are evidently driven4 ,the fact of the matter is that desire is not in me4 ,my nature shrinks from sin2 but it is not virtue that shrinks3 it is rather reserve4 ,i have no more temptation to be sensual1 for instance1 than ,i have to be vulgar4 ,hang it1 ,val1 you don't want to have the temptation1 do you8 ,valentine looked at ,julian curiously4 ,you have the temptation1 ,julian8 he said4 ,you know ,i have--horribly4 ,but you fight it and conquer it8 ,i fight it1 and now ,i am beginning to conquer it1 to get it under4 ,now8 ,since when8 ,julian replied by asking another question4 ,look here1 how long have we known each other8 ,let me see4 ,i'm twenty-four1 you twenty-three4 ,just five years4 ,ah6 ,for just five years ,i've fought1 ,val1 been able to fight4 ,and before then8 ,i didn't fight2 ,i revelled in the enemy's camp4 ,you have never told me this before4 ,did you suddenly get conversion1 as ,salvationists say8 ,something like it4 ,but my conversion had nothing to do with trumpets and tambourines4 ,what then8 ,this is interesting4 ,a certain confusion had come into ,julian's expression1 even a certain echoing awkwardness into his attitude4 ,he looked away into the fire and lighted another cigarette before he answered4 ,then he said rather unevenly3 ,i dare say you'll be surprised when ,i tell you4 ,but ,i never meant to tell you at all4 ,don't1 if you would rather not4 ,yes1 ,i think ,i will4 ,i must stop you from disliking yourself at any cost1 dear old boy4 ,well1 you converted me1 so far as ,i am converted2 and that's not very far1 ,i'm afraid4 ,i8 said ,valentine1 with genuine surprise4 ,why1 ,i never tried to4 ,exactly4 ,if you had1 no doubt you'd have failed4 ,but explain4 ,i've never told you all you do for me1 ,val4 ,you are my armour against all these damned things4 ,when ,i'm with you1 ,i hate the notion of being a sinner4 ,i never hated it before ,i met you4 ,in fact1 ,i loved it4 ,i wanted sin more than ,i wanted anything in heaven or earth4 ,and then--just at the critical moment when ,i was passing from boyhood into manhood1 ,i met you4 ,he stopped4 ,his brown cheeks were glowing1 and he avoided ,valentine's gaze4 ,go on1 ,julian1 ,valentine said4 ,i want to hear this4 ,all right1 ,i'll finish now1 but ,i don't know why ,i ever began4 ,perhaps you'll think me a fool1 or a sentimentalist4 ,nonsense6 ,well1 ,i don't know how it is1 but when ,i saw you ,i first understood that there is a good deal in what the parsons say1 that sin is beastly in itself1 don't you know1 even apart from one's religious convictions1 or the injury one may do to others4 ,when ,i saw you1 ,i understood that sin degrades one's self1 ,valentine4 ,for you had never sinned as ,i had1 and you were so different from me4 ,you are the only sinless man ,i know1 and you have made me know what beasts we men are4 ,why can't we be what we might be8 ,valentine did not reply4 ,he seemed lost in thought1 and ,julian continued1 throwing off his original shamefacedness3 ,ever since then you've kept me straight4 ,if ,i feel inclined to throw myself down in the gutter1 one look at you makes me loathe the notion4 ,preaching often drives one wrong out of sheer 'cussedness1' ,i suppose4 ,but you don't preach and don't care4 ,you just live beautifully1 because you're made differently from all of us4 ,so you do for me what no preachers could ever do4 ,there--now you know4 ,he lay back1 puffing violently at his cigarette4 ,it is strange1 ,valentine said1 seeing he had finished4 ,you know1 to live as ,i do is no effort to me1 and so it is absurd to praise me4 ,i won't praise you1 but it's outrageous of you to want to feel as ,i and other men feel4 ,is it8 ,i don't think so4 ,i think it is very natural4 ,my life is a dead calm1 and a dead calm is monotonous4 ,it's better than an everlasting storm4 ,i wonder6 ,valentine said4 ,how curious that ,i should protect you4 ,i am glad it is so4 ,and yet1 ,julian1 in spite of what you say1 ,i would give a great deal to change souls with you1 if only for a day or two4 ,you will laugh at me1 but ,i do long to feel a real1 keen temptation4 ,those agonizing struggles of holy men that one reads of1 what can they be like8 ,i can hardly imagine4 ,there have been ascetics who have wept1 and dashed themselves down on the ground1 and injured1 wounded their bodies to distract their thoughts from vice4 ,to me they seem as madmen4 ,you know the story of the monk who rescued a great courtesan from her life of shame4 ,he placed her in a convent and went into the desert4 ,but her image haunted him1 maddened him4 ,he slunk back to the convent1 and found her dying in the arms of ,god4 ,and he tried to drag her away1 that she might sin only once again with him1 with him1 her saviour4 ,but she died1 giving herself to ,god1 and he went out cursing and blaspheming4 ,this is only a dramatic fable to me4 ,and yet ,i suppose it is a possibility4 ,of course4 ,val1 ,i could imagine myself doing as that monk did1 but for you4 ,only that ,i could never have been a monk at all4 ,i am glad if ,i help you to any happiness1 ,julian4 ,but--but--oh6 to feel temptation6 ,oh1 not to feel it6 ,by ,jove1 ,i long to have done with the infernal thing that's always ready to bother me4 ,fighting it is no fun1 ,val1 ,i can tell you4 ,if you would like to have my soul for a day or two1 ,i should love to have yours in exchange4 ,valentine smoked in silence for two or three minutes4 ,his pure1 pale1 beautiful face was rather wistful as he gazed at the fire4 ,why can't these affairs be managed8 he sighed out at length4 ,why can't we do just the one thing more8 ,we can kill a man's body4 ,we can kill a woman's purity4 ,and here you and ,i sit1 the closest friends1 and neither of us can have the same experiences1 as the other1 even for a moment4 ,why isn't it possible8 ,perhaps it is4 ,why8 ,how do you mean8 ,well1 of course ,i'm rather a sceptic1 and entirely an ignoramus4 ,but ,i met a man the other day who would have laughed at us for doubting4 ,he was an awfully strange fellow4 ,his name is ,marr4 ,i met him at ,lady ,crichton's4 ,who is he8 ,haven't an idea4 ,i never saw or heard of him before4 ,we talked a good deal at dessert4 ,he came over from the other side of the table to sit by me1 and somehow1 in five minutes1 we'd got into spiritualism and all that sort of thing4 ,he is evidently a believer in it1 calls himself an occultist4 ,but do you mean to tell me he said souls could be exchanged at will8 ,come1 ,julian8 ,i won't say that4 ,but he set no limit at all to what can be done4 ,he declares that if people seriously set themselves to develop the latent powers that lie hidden within them1 they can do almost anything4 ,only they must be en rapport4 ,each must respond closely1 definitely1 to the other4 ,now1 you and ,i are as much in sympathy with one another as any two men in ,london1 ,i suppose4 ,surely6 ,then half the battle's won--according to ,marr4 ,you are joking4 ,he wasn't4 ,he would declare that1 with time and perseverance1 we could accomplish an exchange of souls4 ,valentine laughed4 ,well1 but how8 ,julian laughed too4 ,oh1 it seems absurd--but he'd tell us to sit together4 ,well1 we are sitting together now4 ,no2 at a table1 ,i mean4 ,table-turning6 ,valentine cried1 with a sort of contempt4 ,that is for children1 and for all of us at ,christmas1 when we want to make fools of ourselves4 ,just what ,i am inclined to think4 ,but ,marr--and he's really a very smart1 clever chap1 ,val--denies it4 ,he swears it is possible for two people who sit together often to get up a marvellous sympathy1 which lasts on even when they are no longer sitting4 ,he says you can even see your companion's thoughts take form in the darkness before your eyes1 and pass in procession like living things4 ,he must be mad4 ,perhaps4 ,i don't know4 ,if he is1 he can put his madness to you very lucidly1 very ingeniously4 ,valentine stroked the white back of ,rip meditatively with his foot4 ,you have never sat1 have you8 he asked4 ,never4 ,nor ,i4 ,i have always thought it an idiotic and very dull way of wasting one's time4 ,now1 what on earth can a table have to do with one's soul8 ,i don't know4 ,what is one's soul8 ,one's essence1 ,i suppose2 the inner light that spreads its rays outward in actions1 and that is extinguished1 or expelled1 at the hour of death4 ,expelled1 ,i think4 ,i think so too4 ,that which is so full of strange power cannot surely die so soon4 ,even my soul1 so frigid1 so passionless1 has1 you say1 held you back from sins like a leash of steel1 ,and ,i did not even try to forge the steel4 ,if we could exchange souls1 would yours hold me back in the same way8 ,no doubt4 ,i wonder1 ,valentine said thoughtfully4 ,after a moment he added1 shall we make this absurd experiment of sitting1 just for a phantasy8 ,why not8 ,it would be rather fun4 ,it might be4 ,we will just do it once to see whether you can get some of my feelings1 and ,i some of yours4 ,that's it4 ,but you could never get mine4 ,i know you too well1 ,val4 ,you're my rock of defence4 ,you've kept me straight because you're so straight yourself2 and1 with that face1 you'll never alter4 ,if anything should happen1 it will be that you'll drag me up to where you are4 ,i shan't drag you down to my level1 you old saint6 ,and he laid his hand affectionately on his friend's shoulder4 ,valentine smiled4 ,your level is not low1 he said4 ,no1 perhaps2 but1 by ,jove1 it could be1 though4 ,if you hadn't been chucked into the world1 ,i often think the devil must have had me altogether4 ,you keep him off4 ,how he must hate you1 ,val4 ,hulloh6 ,what's that8 ,what8 ,who's that laughing outside8 ,has ,wade got a friend in to-night8 ,not that ,i know of4 ,i didn't hear anything4 ,valentine touched the electric bell1 and his man appeared4 ,any one in with you to-night1 ,wade8 he asked4 ,the man looked surprised4 ,no1 sir2 certainly not1 sir4 ,oh6 ,don't sit up2 we may be late to-night4 ,and we don't want anything more1 except--yes1 bring another couple of sodas4 ,yes1 sir4 ,he brought them and vanished4 ,a moment later they heard the front door of the flat close4 ,the butler was married and slept out of the house4 ,valentine had no servant sleeping in the flat4 ,he preferred to be alone at night4 ,,chapter ,,iii ,,episode ,,of ,,the ,,first ,,sitting ,now1 then1 said ,valentine1 let us be absurd and try this sitting4 ,shall we clear this little table8 ,yes4 ,it's just the right size4 ,it might do for three people1 but certainly not for more4 ,there6 ,now1 then4 ,and1 as the clock struck twelve1 ,valentine turned off the electric light1 and they sat down with their hands upon the table4 ,the room was only very dimly illuminated by the fire on the hearth1 where ,rip slept on1 indifferent to their proceedings4 ,i suppose nothing could go wrong1 ,julian said1 after a moment of silence4 ,wrong6 ,yes4 ,i don't know exactly what ,marr meant1 but he said that if unsuitable people sit together any amount of harm can result from it4 ,what sort of harm8 ,i don't know4 ,h'm6 ,i expect that is all nonsense1 like the rest of his remarks4 ,anyhow1 ,julian1 no two people could ever hit it off better than you and ,i do4 ,wait a second4 ,he jumped up and drew the curtain over the door4 ,wade had pulled it back when he came in4 ,i must have that curtain altered1 ,valentine said4 ,it is so badly hung that whenever the door is opened1 it falls half way back1 and looks hideous4 ,that is better4 ,he sat down again4 ,we won't talk1 he said4 ,no4 ,we'll give the--whatever it is every chance4 ,they were silent4 ,presently--it might have been a quarter of an hour--,julian said suddenly3 ,do you feel anything8 ',m--no1 ,valentine answered1 rather doubtfully4 ,sure8 ,i think so4 ,you can't merely think you are sure1 old chap4 ,well1 then--yes1 ,i'll say ,i am sure4 ,right1 rejoined ,julian4 ,again there was a silence1 broken this time by ,valentine4 ,why did you ask me8 he said4 ,oh6 no special reason4 ,i just wanted to know4 ,then you didn't8 ,didn't what8 ,feel anything8 ,no2 nothing particular4 ,well1 what do you mean by that8 ,what ,i say4 ,i can't be sure it was anything4 ,that's vague4 ,so was my--,i can't even call it exactly sensation4 ,it was so very slight4 ,in fact1 ,i'm as good as sure ,i felt nothing at all4 ,it was a mere fancy4 ,nothing more4 ,and then again they were silent4 ,the fire gradually died down until the room grew quite dark4 ,presently ,valentine said3 ,hulloh6 here is ,rip up against my foot4 ,he is cold without the fire1 poor little beggar4 ,shall we stop8 asked ,julian4 ,yes2 ,i vote we do--for to-night4 ,valentine struck a match1 felt for the knob of the electric light1 and turned it on4 ,julian and he looked at each other1 blinking4 ,think there's anything in it8 asked ,julian4 ,i don't know1 said ,valentine4 ,i suppose not4 ,rip6 ,rip6 ,he is cold4 ,did you ever see a dog shiver like that8 ,he picked the little creature up in his arms4 ,it nestled against his shoulder with a deep sigh4 ,well1 we have made a beginning1 he said1 turning to pour out a drink4 ,it is rather interesting4 ,julian was lighting a cigarette4 ,yes2 it is--very4 he answered4 ,valentine gave him a brandy and soda2 then1 as if struck by a sudden thought1 asked3 ,you really didn't feel anything8 ,no4 ,nor ,i4 ,but then1 ,julian1 why do we find it interesting8 ,julian looked puzzled4 ,hang it6 ,i don't know1 he answered1 after an instant of reflection4 ,why do we8 ,i wonder4 ,that is what ,i am wondering4 ,he flicked the ash from his cigarette4 ,but ,i don't come to any conclusion1 he presently added1 meditatively4 ,we sit in the dark for an hour and a quarter1 with our hands solemnly spread out upon a table2 we don't talk2 the table doesn't move2 we hear no sound2 we see nothing2 we feel nothing that we have not felt before4 ,and yet we find the function interesting4 ,this problem of sensation is simply insoluble4 ,i cannot work it out4 ,it is awfully puzzling1 said ,julian4 ,i suppose our nerves must have been subtly excited because the thing was an absolute novelty4 ,possibly4 ,but1 if so1 we are a couple of children1 mere schoolboys4 ,that's rather refreshing1 however undignified4 ,if we sit long enough1 we may even recover our long-lost babyhood4 ,and so they laughed the matter easily away4 ,soon afterwards1 however1 ,julian got up to go home to his chambers4 ,valentine went towards the door1 intending to open it and get his friend's coat4 ,suddenly he stopped4 ,strange6 he exclaimed4 ,what's the row8 ,look at the door1 ,julian4 ,well8 ,don't you see8 ,what8 ,the curtain is half drawn back again4 ,julian gave vent to a long1 low whistle4 ,so it is6 ,it always does that when the door is opened4 ,and only then1 of course8 ,of course4 ,but the door hasn't been opened4 ,i know4 ,they regarded each other almost uneasily4 ,then ,valentine added1 with a short laugh3 ,i can't have drawn it thoroughly over the door when ,wade went away4 ,i suppose not4 ,well1 good-night1 ,val4 ,good-night4 ,shall we sit again tomorrow8 ,yes2 ,i vote we do4 ,valentine let his friend out4 ,as he shut the front door1 he said to himself3 ,i am positive ,i did draw the curtain thoroughly4 ,he went back into the tentroom and glanced again at the curtain4 ,yes2 ,i am positive4 ,after an instant of puzzled wonder1 he seemed to put the matter deliberately from him4 ,come along1 ,rip1 he said4 ,why1 you are cold and miserable to-night6 ,must ,i carry you then8 ,he picked the dog up1 turned out the light1 and walked slowly into his bedroom4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,the ,,second ,,sitting ,on the following night ,valentine sat waiting for ,julian's arrival in his drawing-room1 which looked out upon ,victoria ,street1 whereas the only window of the tentroom opened upon some waste ground where once a panorama of ,jerusalem1 or some notorious city1 stood1 and where building operations were now being generally carried on4 ,valentine very seldom used his drawing-room4 ,sometimes pretty women came to tea with him1 and he did them honour there4 ,sometimes musicians came4 ,then there was always a silent group gathered round the ,steinway grand piano4 ,for ,valentine was inordinately fond of music1 and played so admirably that even professionals never hurled at him a jeering amateur6 ,but when ,valentine was alone1 or when he expected one or two men to smoke1 he invariably sat in the tentroom1 where the long lounges and the shaded electric light were suggestive of desultory conversation1 and seemed tacitly to forbid all things that savour of a hind-leg attitude4 ,to-night1 however1 some whim1 no doubt1 had prompted him to forsake his usual haunt4 ,perhaps he had been seized with a dislike for complete silence1 such as comes upon men in recurring hours of depression1 when the mind is submerged by a thin tide of unreasoning melancholy1 and sound of one kind or another is as ardently sought as at other times it is avoided4 ,in this room ,valentine could hear the vague traffic of the dim street outside1 the dull tumult of an omnibus1 the furtive1 flashing clamour of a hansom1 the cry of an occasional newsboy1 explanatory of the crimes and tragedies of the passing hour4 ,or perhaps the eyes of ,valentine were1 for the moment1 weary of the monotonous green walls of his sanctum1 leaning tent-wise towards the peaked apex of the ceiling1 and longed to rest on the many beautiful pictures that hung in one line around his drawing-room4 ,it seemed so1 for now1 as he sat in a chair before the fire1 holding ,rip upon his knee1 his blue eyes were fixed meditatively upon a picture called ,the ,merciful ,knight1 which faced him over the mantelpiece4 ,this was the only picture containing a figure of the ,christ which ,valentine possessed4 ,he had no holy children1 no ,madonnas4 ,but he loved this ,christ1 this exquisitely imagined dead1 drooping figure1 which1 roused into life by an act of noble renunciation1 bent down and kissed the armed hero who had been great enough to forgive his enemy4 ,he loved those weary1 tender lips1 those faded limbs1 the sacred tenuity of the ascetic figure1 the wonderful posture of benign familiarity that was more majestic than any reserve4 ,yes1 ,valentine loved this ,christ1 and ,julian knew it well4 ,often1 late at night1 ,julian had leaned back lazily listening while ,valentine played1 improvising in a light so dim as to be near to darkness4 ,and ,julian had noticed that the player's eyes perpetually sought this picture1 and rested on it1 while his soul1 through the touch of the fingers1 called to the soul of music that slept in the piano1 stirred it from sleep1 carried it through strange and flashing scenes1 taught it to strive and to agonize1 then hushed it again to sleep and peace4 ,and as ,julian looked from the picture to the player1 who seemed drawing inspiration from it1 he often mutely compared the imagined beauty of the soul of the ,christ with the known beauty of the soul of his friend4 ,and the two lovelinesses seemed to meet1 and to mingle as easily as two streams one with the other4 ,yet the beauty of the ,christ soul sprang from a strange parentage1 was a sublime inheritance1 had been tried in the fiercest fires of pity and of pain4 ,the beauty of ,valentine's soul seemed curiously innate1 and mingled with a dazzling snow of almost inhuman purity4 ,his was not a great soul that had striven successfully1 and must always strive4 ,his was a soul that easily triumphed1 that was almost coldly perfect without effort1 that had surely never longed even for a moment to fall1 had never desired and refused the shadowy pleasures of passion4 ,the wonderful purity of his friend's face continually struck ,julian anew4 ,it suggested to him the ivory peak of an ,alp1 the luminous pallor of a pearl4 ,what other young man in ,london looked like that8 ,valentine was indeed an unique figure in the modern ,london world4 ,had he strayed into it from the fragrant pages of a missal1 or condescended to it from the beatific vistas of some far-off ,paradise8 ,julian had often wondered1 as he looked into the clear1 calm eyes of the friend who had been for so long the vigilant1 yet unconscious guardian of his soul4 ,to-night1 as ,valentine sat looking at the ,christ1 a curious wonder at himself came into his mind4 ,he was musing on the confession of ,julian1 so long withheld1 so shyly made at last4 ,this confession caused him1 for the first time1 to look self-consciously upon himself1 to stand away from his nature1 as the artist stands away from the picture he is painting1 and to examine it with a sideways head1 with a peering1 contracted gaze4 ,this thing that protected a soul from sin--what was it like8 ,what was it8 ,he could not easily surmise4 ,he had a clear vision of the ,christ soul1 of the exquisite essence of a divine individuality that prompted life to spring out of death for one perfect moment that it might miraculously reward a great human act of humanity4 ,yes1 that soul floated before him almost visibly4 ,he could call it up before his mind as a man can call up the vision of a supremely beautiful rose he has admired4 ,and there was a scent from the ,christ soul as ineffably delicious as the scent of the rose4 ,but when ,valentine tried to see his own soul1 he could not see it4 ,he could not comprehend how its aspect affected others1 even quite how it affected ,julian4 ,only he could comprehend1 as he looked at the ,christ1 its imperfection1 and a longing1 not felt before1 came to him to be better than he was4 ,this new aspiration was given to him by ,julian's confession4 ,he knew that well4 ,he protected his friend now without effort4 ,could he not protect him more certainly with effort8 ,can a soul be beautiful that never strives consciously after beauty8 ,a child's nature is beautiful in its innocence because it has never striven to be innocent4 ,but is not an innocent woman more wonderful1 more beautiful1 than an innocent child8 ,valentine felt within him that night a distinct aspiration1 and he vaguely connected it with the drooping ,christ1 who touched with wan1 rewarding lips the ardent face of the merciful knight4 ,and he no longer had the desire to know desire of sin4 ,he no longer sought to understand the power of temptation or the joy of yielding to that power4 ,a subtle change swept over him4 ,whether it was permanent1 or only passing1 he could not tell4 ,a tingling cry from the electric bell in the passage told of ,julian's arrival1 and in a moment he entered4 ,he looked gay1 almost rowdy1 and clapped ,valentine on the shoulder rather boisterously4 ,why on earth are you in here8 he exclaimed4 ,have you been playing8 ,no4 ,are you in an exalted state of mind1 that demands the best parlour for its environment8 ,hardly4 ,but why then have you let out the fire in the den and enthroned yourself here8 ,a whim1 ,julian4 ,i felt a strong inclination to sit in this room to-night4 ,it seems to me a less nervous room than the other1 and ,i want to be as cold-blooded as possible4 ,o1 ,i see6 ,but1 my dear fellow1 what is there nervous about the tent8 ,do you imagine ghosts lurking in the hangings1 or phantoms of dead ,arabs clinging1 like bats1 round that rosette in the roof8 ,you got it up the ,nile1 didn't you8 ,yes4 ,where have you been8 ,dining out4 ,and1 oddly enough1 ,i met ,marr again1 the man ,i told you about4 ,it seems he is in universal request just now4 ,on account of his mystery-mongering1 ,i suppose4 ,probably4 ,did you tell him anything about our sitting8 ,only that we had sat1 and that nothing had happened4 ,what did he say8 ,he said1 ',pooh1 pooh6 these processes are1 and always must be1 gradual4 ,another time there may be some manifestation4' ,manifestation6 ,did you ask him of what nature the manifestation was likely to be8 ,these people are so vague in the terms they employ4 ,yes1 ,i asked him2 but ,i couldn't get much out of him4 ,i must tell you1 ,val1 that he seemed curiously doubtful about my statement that nothing had happened4 ,i can't think why4 ,he said1 ',are you quite sure8' ,of course you answered ,yes8 ,of course4 ,valentine looked at him for a moment and then said3 ,you didn't mention the--the curtain by any chance8 ,no4 ,you thought you had left it only partially drawn1 didn't you8 ,valentine made no reply4 ,his face was rather grave4 ,julian did not repeat the question4 ,he felt instinctively that ,valentine did not wish to be obliged to answer it4 ,oddly enough1 during the short silence which followed1 he was conscious of a slight constraint such as he had certainly never felt with ,valentine before4 ,his gaiety seemed dropping from him in this quiet room to which he was so often a visitor4 ,the rowdy expression faded out of his face and he found himself glancing half furtively at his friend4 ,valentine1 he presently said1 shall we really sit to-night8 ,yes1 surely4 ,you meant to when you came here1 didn't you8 ,i don't believe there is anything in it4 ,we will find out4 ,remember that ,i want to get hold of your soul4 ,julian laughed4 ,if you ever do it will prove an old man of the sea to you1 he said4 ,i will risk that1 ,valentine answered4 ,and then he added3 ,but1 come1 don't let us waste time4 ,i will go and send away ,wade4 ,clear that little table by the piano4 ,julian began removing the photographs and books which stood on it1 while ,valentine went out of the room and told his man to go4 ,as soon as they heard the front door close upon him they sat down opposite to each other as on the previous night4 ,they kept silence and sat for what seemed a very long time4 ,at last ,julian said3 ,val6 ,well8 ,let us go back into the tentroom4 ,why8 ,nothing will ever happen here4 ,why should anything happen there8 ,i don't know4 ,let us go4 ,the fire is burning too brightly here4 ,we ought to have complete darkness4 ,very well1 though ,i can't believe it will make the slightest difference4 ,they got up and went into the tentroom1 which looked rather cheerless with its fireless grate4 ,i know this will be better1 ,julian said4 ,we'll have the same table as last night4 ,valentine carefully drew the green curtain quite over the door and called ,julian's attention to the fact that he had done so4 ,then they sat down again4 ,rip lay on the divan in his basket with a rug over him1 so that he might not disturb them by any movement in search of warmth and of companionship4 ,the arrangements seemed careful and complete4 ,they were absolutely isolated from the rest of the world4 ,they were in darkness and the silence might almost be felt4 ,as ,julian said1 they were safe from trickery1 and1 as ,valentine rejoined in his calm voix d'or1 they were therefore probably also safe from what ,marr had mysteriously called manifestations4 ,dead1 dumb silence4 ,their four hands1 not touching1 lay loosely on the oval table4 ,rip slept unutterably1 shrouded head and body in his cosy rug4 ,so--till the last gleam of the fire faded4 ,so--till another twenty minutes had passed4 ,the friends had not exchanged a word1 had scarcely made the slightest movement4 ,could a stranger have been suddenly introduced into the black room1 and have remained listening attentively1 he might easily have been deceived into the belief that1 but for himself1 it was deserted4 ,to both ,valentine and ,julian the silence seemed progressive4 ,with each gliding moment they could have declared that it grew deeper1 more dense1 more prominent1 even more grotesque and living4 ,there seemed to be a sort of pressure in it which handled them more and more definitely4 ,the sensation was interesting and acute4 ,each gave himself to it1 and each had a1 perhaps deceptive1 consciousness of yielding up something1 something impalpable1 evanescent1 fluent4 ,valentine1 more especially1 felt as if he were pouring away from himself1 by this act of sitting1 a vital liquid1 and he thought with a mental smile3 ,am ,i letting my soul out of its cage1 here and now8 ,no doubt1 his common sense replied2 no doubt this sensation is the merest fancy4 ,he played with it in the darkness1 and had no feeling of weariness4 ,nearly an hour had passed in this morose way1 when1 with1 it seemed1 appalling abruptness1 ,rip barked4 ,although the bark was half stifled in rug1 both ,valentine and ,julian started perceptibly4 ',sh6 ,valentine hissed to the little dog4 ',sh6 ,rip6 ,quiet6 ,the response of ,rip was1 with a violent scramble1 to disentangle himself from his covering1 emerging from which he again barked with shrill and piercing vehemence1 at the same time leaping to the floor4 ,by the sound1 which he could locate1 ,valentine felt certain that the dog had gone over to the door4 ,what on earth is he barking at8 ,julian said in the darkness4 ,i can't imagine4 ,hush1 ,rip6 ,s-sh6 ,val1 turn on the light1 quick6 ,you're nearest to it4 ,valentine stretched out his hand hastily1 and in a flash the room sprang into view4 ,he was right4 ,rip was crouched--his front legs extended along the floor1 his hind legs standing almost straight--close to the door1 and facing it full4 ,his head was down1 and moving1 darting this way and that1 as if he were worrying the feet of some person who was trying to advance from the door into the centre of the room4 ,all his teeth showed1 and his yellow eyes were glaring fiercely4 ,julian1 who had thrown a hasty and searching glance round the room when the light was turned on1 sprang forward and bent down to him4 ,rip6 ,rip6 he said4 ,silly6 ,what's the matter8 ,silly dog6 and he began to stroke him4 ,either this action of his1 or something else not known by the young men1 had an effect on the terrier1 for he suddenly ceased barking1 and began to snuffle eagerly1 excitedly1 at the bottom of the door4 ,it's as if he were mad1 said ,julian1 turning round4 ,hulloh1 ,val6 ,what the devil's come to you8 ,for he found ,valentine standing up by the table with an expression of deep astonishment on his face4 ,he pointed in silence to the door4 ,by ,jove6 that curtain again6 said ,julian1 with an accent of amazement4 ,i'm damned6 ,the curtain was1 in fact1 drawn back from the door4 ,valentine struck a match and put it to a candle4 ,then he opened the door4 ,rip immediately darted out of the room and pattered excitedly down the passage1 as if searching for something1 his sharp nose investigating the ground with a vehement attention4 ,the young men followed him4 ,he ran to the front door1 then back into ,valentine's bedroom2 then1 by turns1 into the four other apartments--bedroom1 drawing-room1 bathroom and kitchen--that formed the suite4 ,the doors of the two latter were opened by ,valentine4 ,having completed this useless progress1 ,rip once more resorted to the passage and the front door1 by which he paused1 whimpering1 in an uncertain1 almost a wistful attitude4 ,open it6 said ,julian4 ,valentine did so4 ,they looked out upon the broad and dreary stone steps1 and waited1 listening4 ,there was no sound4 ,rip still whimpered1 rather feebly4 ,his excitement was evidently dying away4 ,at last ,valentine shut the door1 and they went back again to the tentroom1 accompanied closely by the dog1 who gradually regained his calmness1 and who presently jumped of his own accord into his basket1 and1 after turning quickly round some half-dozen times1 composed himself once more to sleep4 ,i wish1 after all1 we had stayed in the other room by the fire1 ,julian said4 ,give me some brandy4 ,valentine poured some into a glass and ,julian swallowed it at a gulp4 ,we mustn't have ,rip in the room another time1 he added4 ,he spoilt the whole thing4 ,what whole thing8 ,valentine asked1 sinking down in a chair4 ,well1 the sitting4 ,perhaps--perhaps one of ,marr's mysterious manifestations might have come off to-night4 ,valentine did not reply at first4 ,when he did1 he startled ,julian by saying3 ,perhaps one of them did come off4 ,did8 ,yes4 ,how8 ,what was ,rip barking at8 ,there's no accounting for what dogs will do4 ,they often bark at shadows4 ,at shadows--yes1 exactly4 ,but what cast a shadow to-night8 ,julian laughed with some apparent uneasiness4 ,perhaps a coming event1 he exclaimed4 ,valentine looked at him rather gravely4 ,that is exactly what ,i felt1 he said4 ,explain4 ,for ,i was only joking4 ,i felt1 perhaps it was only a fancy1 that this second sitting of ours brought some event a stage nearer1 a stage nearer on its journey4 ,to what8 ,i felt--to us4 ,fancy4 ,probably4 ,you didn't feel it8 ,i8 ,oh1 ,i scarcely know what ,i felt4 ,i must say1 though1 that squatting in the dark1 and saying nothing for such an age1 and--and all the rest of it1 doesn't exactly toughen one's nerves4 ,that little demon of a ,rip quite gave me the horrors when he started barking4 ,what fools we are6 ,i should think nothing of mounting a dangerous horse1 or sailing a boat in rough weather1 or risking my life as we all do half our time in one way or another4 ,yet a dog and a dark room give me the shudders4 ,funny1 ,val1 isn't it8 ,valentine answered1 ,if it is a dog and a dark room4 ,what else can it possibly be8 ,julian said with an accent of rather unreasonable annoyance4 ,i don't know4 ,but ,i did draw the curtain completely over the door to-night4 ,julian1 ,i am getting interested in this4 ,perhaps--who knows8--in the end ,i shall have your soul1 you mine4 ,he laughed as he spoke2 then added3 ,no1 no2 ,i don't believe in such an exchange2 and1 ,julian1 ,i scarcely desire it4 ,but let us go on4 ,this gives a slight new excitement to life4 ,yes4 ,but it is selfish of you to wish to keep your soul to yourself4 ,i want it4 ,well1 au revoir1 ,val2 to-morrow night4 ,au revoir4 ,after ,julian had gone ,valentine went back into the drawing-room and stood for a long while before the ,merciful ,knight4 ,he had a strange fancy that the picture of the bending ,christ protected the room from the intrusion of--what8 ,he could not tell yet4 ,perhaps he could never tell4 ,,chapter ,v ,,the ,,third ,,sitting ,isn't it an extraordinary thing1 ,julian said1 on the following evening1 that if you meet a man once in ,london you keep knocking up against him day after day8 ,while1 if-- ,you don't meet him1 you don't4 ,no4 ,i mean that if you don't happen to be introduced to him1 you probably never set eyes on him at all4 ,i know4 ,but whom have you met to-day8 ,marr again4 ,that's odd4 ,he is beginning to haunt you4 ,i met him at my club4 ,he has just been elected a member4 ,did he make any more inquiries into our sittings8 ,rather4 ,he talked of nothing else4 ,he's an extraordinary fellow1 extraordinary4 ,why8 ,what is he like8 ,in appearance8 ,oh1 the sort of chap little pink women call ,satanic2 white complexion showing blue where he shaves1 big dark eyes rather sunken1 black hair1 tall1 very thin and quiet4 ,very well dressed4 ,he is that uncanny kind of a man who has a silent manner and a noisy expression4 ,you know what ,i mean8 ,yes1 perfectly4 ,i think he's very morbid4 ,he never reads the evening papers4 ,that proves it absolutely4 ,does he smoke8 ,always4 ,i found him in the smoking-room4 ,he showed the most persistent interest in our proceedings1 ,val4 ,i couldn't get him to talk of anything else1 so at last ,i told him exactly what had happened4 ,did you tell him that we began to sit last night in a different room8 ,yes4 ,that was curious4 ,directly ,i said it he began making minute inquiries as to what the room was like1 how the furniture was placed1 even what pictures hung on the walls4 ,the pictures6 ,yes4 ,i described them4 ,all of them8 ,no1 one or two2 that favorite of yours1 ',the ,merciful ,knight1' the ,turner1 those girls of ,solomon's with the man playing to them1 and--yes1 ,i think those were all4 ,oh6 ,he said1 ',you made a great mistake in changing your venue to that room1 a great mistake4' ,then ,i explained how we moved back to the tentroom in the middle of the sitting1 and all about ,rip4 ,did he make any remark8 ,one that struck me as very quaint1 ',you are en route4' ,enigmatic again4 ,he was playing the wizard4 ,he spoke very gravely4 ,of course4 ,great gravity is part of the business4 ,afterwards he said1 ',turn that dog out next time4' ,and that was all8 ,i think so4 ,valentine sat musing4 ,presently he said3 ,i should rather like to meet this ,marr4 ,oh1 ,i don't think--,i fancy-- ,well8 ,i'd as soon you didn't4 ,why8 ,i don't think you'd get on4 ,you wouldn't like him4 ,for what reason8 ,i don't know4 ,i've a notion he's something exceptional in the way of a blackguard4 ,perhaps ,i am wrong4 ,i haven't an idea what sort of a reputation he has4 ,but he is black1 ,valentine1 not at all your colour4 ,oh6 and1 by the way1 he doesn't want to meet you4 ,how charming of him6 ,i had half suggested it1 ,i don't know why1 and he said1 ',thanks6 ,thanks6 ,chance will bring us together later on if we ought to meet4' ,and now ,i am glad he wasn't keen4 ,shall we begin8 ,put ,rip into your bedroom1 as he advised4 ,besides1 ,i can't stand his barking4 ,valentine carried the little dog away4 ,when he came back he shut the tentroom door and was about to draw the curtain over it4 ,but ,julian stopped him4 ,no1 don't1 ,julian said4 ,why not8 ,i would rather you didn't4 ,i hate that curtain4 ,if ,i were you ,i would have it taken down altogether4 ,valentine looked at him in surprise4 ,he had uttered the words with an energy almost violent4 ,but even as ,valentine looked ,julian switched off the electric light and the leaping darkness hid his face4 ,come now4 ,business6 ,business6 he cried4 ,and again they sat with their hands loosely on the table1 not touching each other4 ,valentine felt that ,julian was being less frank with him than usual4 ,perhaps for this reason he was immediately conscious that they were not so much in sympathy as on the two former occasions of their sittings4 ,or there might have been some other reason which he could not identify4 ,it is certain that he gradually became acutely aware of a stifling sense of constraint1 which he believed to be greatly intensified by the surrounding darkness and silence4 ,he wondered if ,julian was conscious of it also1 and at moments longed to ask4 ,but something held him back1 that curious something which we all feel at times like a strong hand laid upon us4 ,he made up his mind that this discomfort of his soul1 unreasonably considerable though it was1 must be due solely to ,julian's abrupt demeanour and obvious desire to check his curiosity about the drawing of the curtain4 ,but1 as the moments ran by1 his sense of uneasiness assumed such fantastic proportions that he began to cast about for some more definite1 more concrete1 cause4 ,at one instant he found it in the condition of his health4 ,the day had been damp and dreary1 and he had suffered from neuralgia4 ,doubtless the pain had acted upon his nervous system1 and was accountable for his present and perpetually increasing anxiety4 ,a little later he was fain to dismiss this supposition as untenable4 ,his sense of constraint was changing into a positive dread1 and not at all of ,julian1 around whom he had believed that his thoughts were in flight4 ,something1 he knew not at all what1 interposed between him and ,julian1 and so definitely that ,valentine felt as if he could have fixed the exact moment in which the interposition had taken place1 as one can fix the exact moment in which a person enters a room where one is sitting4 ,and the interposition was one of great horror1--entirely malignant1 ,valentine believed4 ,he had an impulse to spring up from the table1 to turn on the light1 and to say1 ,let us make an end of this jugglery6 ,yet he sat still1 wondering why he did so4 ,a curiosity walked in his mind1 pacing about till he could almost fancy he heard its footsteps4 ,he sat1 then1 as one awaiting an arrival1 that has been heralded in some way1 by a telegram1 a message1 a carrier-pigeon flown in at an open window4 ,but the herald1 too1 was horrible4 ,what then would follow it8 ,what was coming8 ,valentine felt that he began to understand ,marr's queer remark1 ,you are en route4 ,at the first sitting he had felt a very vague suggestion of immoderate possibilities1 made possibilities by the apparently futile position assumed at a table by himself and ,julian4 ,to-night the vague seemed on march towards the definite4 ,fancy was surely moving towards fact4 ,with his eyes wide open ,valentine gazed in the direction of ,julian1 sitting invisible opposite to him4 ,he wondered how ,julian was feeling1 what he was thinking4 ,and then he remembered that strange saying of ,marr's1 that thoughts could take form1 materialize4 ,what would he give to witness that monstrous procession of embodied brain-actions trooping from the mind of his friend6 ,he imagined them small1 spare1 phantom-like things1 fringed with fire1 as weapon against the darkness1 silent-footed as spirits1 moving with a level impetus1 as pale ghosts treading a sea1 onward to the vast world of clashing minds1 to which we carelessly cast out our thoughts as a man who shoots rubbish into a cart4 ,the vagrant fancies danced along with attenuated steps and tiny1 whimsical gestures of fairies1 fluttering their flame-veined wings4 ,the sad thoughts moved slowly with drooped heads and monotonous hands1 and tears fell forever about their feet4 ,the thoughts that were evil--and ,julian had acknowledged them many1 though combatted--were endowed with a strangely sinister gait1 like the gait of those modern sinners who express1 ignorantly1 in their motions the hidden deeds their tongues decline to speak4 ,the wayward thoughts had faces like women1 who kiss and frown within the limits of an hour4 ,on the cheeks of the libertine thoughts a rosy cloud of rouge shone softly1 and their haggard eyes were brightened by a cunning pigment4 ,and the noble thoughts1 grand in gesture1 godlike in bearing1 did not pass them by1 but spoke to them serene words1 and sought to bring them out from their degradation4 ,and there was no music in this imagined procession which ,valentine longed to see4 ,all was silent as from the gulf of ,julian's mind the inhabitants stole furtively to do their mission4 ,yes1 ,valentine knew to-night that he should feel no wonder if thought took form1 if a disembodied voice spoke1 or a detached hand moved into ripples of the air4 ,only he was irritated and alarmed by the abiding sense of some surrounding danger1 which stayed with him1 which he fought against in vain4 ,his common sense had not deserted him4 ,on the contrary1 it was argumentative1 cogent in explanation and in rebuke4 ,it strove to sneer his distress down with stinging epithets1 and shot arrows of laughter against his aimless fears4 ,but the combat was1 nevertheless1 tamely unequal4 ,common sense was routed by this enigmatic enemy1 and at length ,valentine's spirits became so violently perturbed that he could keep silence no longer4 ,julian1 he said1 with a pressure of chained alarm in his voice1 ,julian6 ,yes1 ,julian replied1 tensely4 ,anything wrong with you8 ,no1 no4 ,or with you8 ,nothing definite4 ,what then8 ,i will confess to you that to-night ,i feel--,i feel1 well1 horribly afraid4 ,of what8 ,i have no idea4 ,the feeling is totally unreasonable4 ,that gives it an inexplicable horror4 ,ah6 then that is why you joined your left hand with my right five minutes ago4 ,i wondered why you did it4 ,i6 ,joined hands6 ,yes4 ,i haven't moved my hand4 ,my dear ,val6 ,how is it holding mine then8 ,don't be absurd1 ,julian2 my hand is not near yours4 ,both my hands are just where they were when we sat down1 on my side of the table4 ,just where they were6 ,your little finger has been tightly linked in mine for the last five minutes4 ,you know that as well as ,i do4 ,nonsense6 ,but it is linked now while ,i am speaking4 ,i tell you it isn't4 ,i'll soon let you know it too4 ,there6 ,ah6 no wonder you have snatched it away4 ,you forget that my muscles are like steel1 and that ,i can pinch as a gin pinches a rabbit's leg4 ,i say1 ,i didn't really hurt you1 did ,i8 ,it was only a joke to stop your little game4 ,i tell you1 ,valentine said1 almost angrily1 your hand has never once touched mine1 nor mine yours4 ,his accent of irritable sincerity appeared suddenly to carry conviction to the mind of ,julian1 for he sprang violently up from the table1 and cried1 in the darkness3 ,then who the devil's in the room with us8 ,valentine also1 convinced that ,julian had not been joking1 was appalled4 ,he switched on the light1 and saw ,julian standing opposite to him1 looking very white4 ,they both threw a rapid glance upon the room1 whose dull green draperies returned their inquiry with the complete indifference of artistic inanimation4 ,who the devil's got in here8 ,julian repeated1 with the savage accent of extreme uneasiness4 ,nobody1 ,valentine replied4 ,you know the thing's impossible4 ,impossible or not1 somebody has found means to get in4 ,valentine shook his head4 ,then you were lying8 ,julian1 what are you saying8 ,don't go too far4 ,either you were1 or else a man has been sitting at that table between us1 and ,i have held his hand1 the hand of some stranger4 ,ouf6 ,he shook his broad shoulders in an irrepressible shudder4 ,i was not lying1 ,julian4 ,i tell you so1 and ,i mean it4 ,valentine's eyes met ,julian's1 and ,julian believed him4 ,put your hands on the table again1 ,julian said4 ,valentine obeyed1 and ,julian laid his beside them1 linking one of his little fingers tightly in one of ,valentine's1 and at the same time shutting his eyes4 ,after a long pause he grew visibly whiter1 and hastily unlinked his finger4 ,no1 damn it1 ,val1 ,i hadn't hold of your hand4 ,the hand ,i touched was much harder1 and the finger was bigger1 thicker4 ,i say1 this is ghastly4 ,again he shook himself1 and cast a searching glance upon the little room4 ,somebody has been in here with us1 sitting between us in the dark1 he repeated4 ,good ,god1 who is it8 ,valentine looked doubtful1 but uneasy too4 ,let us go through the rooms1 he said4 ,they took a candle1 and1 as on the previous night1 searched1 but in vain4 ,they found no trace of any alien presence in the flat4 ,no book1 no ornament1 had been moved4 ,no door stood open4 ,there was no sound of any footsteps except their own4 ,when they came to ,valentine's bedroom1 ,rip leaped to greet them1 and seemed in excellent spirits4 ,he showed no excitement until he had followed them back into the tentroom4 ,but1 arrived there1 he suddenly stood still1 raised one white paw from the ground1 and emitted a long and dreary howl4 ,the young men stared at him1 and then at each other4 ,rip knows somebody has been here1 ,julian said4 ,valentine was much more uncomfortably impressed by the demeanour of the dog than by ,julian's declaration and subsequent agitation4 ,he had been inclined to attribute the whole affair to a trick of his friend's nerves4 ,but the nervous system of a fox-terrier was surely1 under such circumstances as these1 more truth-telling than that of a man4 ,but the thing is absolutely impossible1 he repeated1 with some disturbance of manner4 ,is anything that we can't investigate straight away absolutely impossible8 ,valentine did not reply directly4 ,here is a cigarette1 he said4 ,let us sit down1 soothe our nerves1 and talk things over calmly and openly4 ,we have not been quite frank with each other about these sittings yet4 ,julian accepted ,valentine's offer with his usual readiness4 ,the fire was relit with some difficulty4 ,rip was coaxed into silence4 ,presently1 as the smoke curled upward with its lazy demeanour1 the horror that had hung like a thin vapour in the atmosphere seemed to be dissipated4 ,now ,i think we are ourselves again1 and can be reasonable1 ,valentine began4 ,don't let us be hysterical4 ,spiritualists always suffer from hysteria4 ,the sceptics say1 ,val4 ,and probably they are generally right4 ,now--yes1 do drink some more of that brandy and soda4 ,now1 ,julian1 do you still believe that a hand held yours just now8 ,julian answered quietly1 showing no irritation at the question3 ,i simply know it as surely as ,i know that ,i am sitting with you at this moment4 ,and1--look here1 you may laugh at me as much as you4 like1--although ,i supposed the hand to be yours1 until you denied it ,i had previously felt the most curious sensation4 ,of what8 ,well1 that something was coming1 even had actually come1 into the room4 ,valentine answered nothing to this1 so ,julian went on4 ,i thought it was a trick of the nerves1 and determined to drive it away1 and ,i succeeded4 ,and then1 just as ,i was internally laughing at myself1 this hand1 as if groping about in the dark1 was first laid on mine1 full on it1 ,val1 and then slid off onto the table and linked its little finger tightly in mine4 ,i1 of course1 supposed the hand was yours1 and this finger was crooked round mine for fully five minutes1 ,i should say4 ,after you spoke1 thinking that you were trying to deceive me for a joke1 ,i caught the hand in mine1 and pinched it with all my strength until it was forcibly dragged away4 ,strange1 ,valentine murmured4 ,deucedly strange6 and1 what's more1 diabolically unpleasant4 ,i wonder what that fellow1 ,marr1 would say to this4 ,marr6 ,by ,jove1 is this one of the manifestations which he spoke about so vaguely8 ,it seems like it4 ,but describe your sensations4 ,you say you felt horribly afraid4 ,why was that8 ,i can't tell4 ,that1 ,i think1 made part of the horror4 ,there was a sort of definite vagueness1 if you can imagine such a seeming contradiction1 in my state of mind4 ,but the feeling is really indescribable4 ,that it was more strange and more terrible than anything ,i have known is certain4 ,i should like to ask ,dr4 ,levillier about all this4 ,levillier--yes4 ,but he would-- ,be reasonable about it1 as he is about everything4 ,dear1 sensible1 odd1 saintly1 emotional1 strong-headed1 soft-hearted little doctor4 ,he is unique4 ,they talked on for some time1 arriving at no conclusion1 until it seemed they had talked the whole matter thoroughly out4 ,yet ,valentine1 who was curiously instinctive1 had1 all the time1 a secret knowledge that ,julian was keeping something from him1 was not being perfectly frank4 ,the conviction pained him4 ,at last ,julian got up to go4 ,he stood putting on his overcoat4 ,good-night1 he said4 ,good-night1 ,julian4 ,now--is this to be our last sitting8 ,valentine hesitated4 ,what do you wish8 he asked at length4 ,what do you8 ,well1 ,i--yes1 ,i think ,i would rather it was the last4 ,julian caught his hand impulsively4 ,so would ,i4 ,good-night4 ,good-night4 ,julian went out into the hall1 got as far as the front door1 opened it1 then suddenly called out3 ,valentine6 ,yes4 ,come here for a moment4 ,valentine went1 and found him standing with his hand on the door1 looking flushed and rather excited4 ,there is one thing ,i haven't told you1 he began4 ,i knew that4 ,i guessed you did4 ,the most horrible sensation ,i have had4 ,during our sitting to-night--don't be vexed--an extraordinary apprehension of--well1 of you1 came over me4 ,there6 ,now ,i have told you4 ,valentine was greatly astonished4 ,of me8 he said4 ,yes4 ,there was a moment when the idea that ,i was alone with you made my blood run cold4 ,good heavens6 ,do you wish ,i hadn't told you8 ,no1 of course not4 ,but it is so extraordinary1 so unnatural4 ,it is utterly gone now1 thank ,god4 ,i say1 we have resolved that we won't sit again1 haven't we8 ,yes2 and what you have just told me makes me hate the whole thing4 ,the game seems a game no longer4 ,when the door had closed upon ,julian1 ,valentine sat down and wrote a note4 ,he addressed it to-- ,doctor ,hermann ,levillier1 ,harley ,street1 ,w41 and laid it on his writing-table1 so that it might be posted early the next morning4 ,,chapter ,,vi ,a ,,conversation ,,at ,,the ,,club ,doctor ,levillier was not a materialist1 although he concerned himself much with the functions of the body1 and with that strange spider's web of tingling threads which we call the nervous system4 ,the man who sweeps out the temple1 who polishes the marble steps and dusts the painted windows1 may yet find time to bend in prayer before the altars he helps to keep beautiful1 may yet find a heart to wonder at the spirit which the temple holds as an envelope holds a letter4 ,reversing the process of mind which seems to lead so many medical students to atheism1 ,dr4 ,levillier had found that the more he understood the weaknesses1 the nastinesses1 the dreary failures1 the unimaginable impulses of the flesh1 the more he grew to believe in the existence1 within it1 of the soul4 ,one day a worn-out dyspeptic1 famous for his intellectual acquirements over two continents1 sat with the little great doctor in his consulting-room4 ,the author1 with dry1 white lips1 had been recounting a series of sordid symptoms1 and1 as the recital grew1 their sordidness seemed suddenly to strike him with a mighty disgust4 ,ah1 doctor1 he said4 ,and do you know there are people thousands of miles away from ,harley ,street who actually admire me1 who are stirred and moved by what ,i write1 who make a cult and a hero of me4 ,they say ,i have soul1 forsooth4 ,but ,i am all body2 you know that4 ,you doctors know that it is only body that we put on paper1 body that lifts us high1 or drags us low4 ,why1 my best romances come straight from my liver4 ,my pathos springs from its condition of disorder1 and my imaginative force is only due to an unnatural state of body which ,i can deliberately produce by drinking tea that has stood a long while and become full of tannin4 ,when my prose glows with fiery beauty1 the tea is getting well hold of my digestive organs1 and by the time it has begun to prove its power by giving me a violent pain in the stomach1 ,i have wrung from it a fine scene which will help to consolidate my fame4 ,when a man wins the ,victoria ,cross1 his healthy body has done the deed1 unprompted by anything higher4 ,good air1 or a muscular life1 has strung his nerves strongly so that he can't1 even if he would1 appreciate danger4 ,on the other hand1 when a man shows funk1 turns tail and bolts1 and is dubbed a coward1 it's his beastly body again4 ,some obscure physical misfortune is the cause of his disgrace1 and if he'd only been to you he would have won the ,cross too4 ,isn't it so8 ,how you doctors must laugh at mystics1 and at those who are ascetics1 save for sake of their health4 ,why1 ,i suppose even the saint owes his so-called goodness to some analyzable proceeding that has gone on in his inside1 and that you could diagnose4 ,eh8 ,doctor ,levillier was writing a prescription in which bismuth was an item4 ,he glanced up quietly4 ,the more ,i know of the body1 the more ,i think of and believe in the power of the soul1 he said4 ,have that made up4 ,take it three times a day and come to me again in a fortnight4 ,good-morning4 ,indeed1 this little man was writing prescriptions for the body and thinking prescriptions for the soul all day long4 ,within him there dwelt a double mind1 the mind of a great doctor and the mind of a great priest1 and these two minds linked hands and lived as friends4 ,the one never strove against the other4 ,there was never a moment of estrangement4 ,and if there were frequent arguments and discussions between the two1 they were the arguments and discussions that make friendship firmer1 not enmity more bitter4 ,and1 as ,dr4 ,levillier very well knew1 it was often the mind of the priest within him that gave to him his healing power over the body4 ,it was the mind of the priest that had won him testimonial clocks and silver salvers from grateful patients4 ,often as he sat with some dingy-faced complainant1 listening to a recital of sickness or uttering directions about avoidance of green meat1 sauces1 pastry1 and liquids1 till the atmosphere seemed that of a hospital1 a pastry-cook's shop and a bar combined1 he was silently examining the patient's soul1 facing its probable vagaries1 mapping out the tours it had taken1 scheming for its welfare4 ,and1 perhaps1 after the dietary was arranged and the prescription was written1 he would say carelessly3 ,do you read much8 ,what do you read8 ,ah6 such and such books4 ,yes1 very interesting4 ,do you know this book which has struck me greatly8 ,no8 ,allow me to lend it to you4 ,good-bye4 ,and the patient departed1 ignorant that he had received a pill for his soul from the priest as well as a pill for his body from the doctor4 ,in appearance ,dr4 ,levillier was small1 slight1 and delicate looking4 ,his complexion was clear and white4 ,his eyes were blue4 ,what hair he possessed was rather soft1 fluffy and reddish1 with a dash of light brown in it4 ,he wore neither beard nor moustache1 was always very neatly and simply dressed1 and was remarkable for his polished boots1 said to be the most perfectly varnished in ,london4 ,although he must have been nearly fifty-five1 he had never married1 and some people declared that he had the intention of starting a new order of medical celibates1 who would be father-confessors as well as physicians1 and who would pray for the souls of their patients after tending their bodily needs4 ,for some years ,valentine had been very intimate with the doctor1 whom he admired for his intellect and loved for his nature4 ,so now he resolved to lay the case of the sittings with ,julian before him and hear his opinion of the matter4 ,in all their conversations ,valentine could not remember that they had ever discussed spiritualism or occultism4 ,as a rule1 they talked about books1 painting1 or music1 of which ,dr4 ,levillier was a devoted lover4 ,valentine's note asked the doctor to dine with him that night at his club4 ,the messenger brought back an acceptance4 ,they dined at a corner table and the room was rather empty4 ,a few men chatted desultorily of burlesques1 horses1 the legs of actresses1 the chances of politics4 ,the waiters moved quietly about with pathetic masks of satisfied servitude4 ,valentine and the doctor conversed earnestly4 ,at first they spoke of a new symphony composed by a daring young ,frenchman1 who had striven to reproduce vices in notes and to summon up visions of things damnable by harmonic progressions which frequently defied the laws of harmony4 ,levillier gently condemned him for putting a great art to a small and degraded use4 ,his very success makes me regret the waste of his time more deeply1 ,cresswell1 he said4 ,he is a marvellous painter in sound4 ,he has improved upon ,berlioz1 if it is improvement to cry sin with a clearer1 more determinate voice4 ,think what a heaven that man could reproduce in music4 ,because he has reproduced a hell4 ,but do you think that follows8 ,can the man who wallows with force and originality soar with force and originality too8 ,i believe he could learn to4 ,the main thing is to possess genius in any form1 the genius to imagine1 to construct1 to present things that seize upon the minds of men4 ,but to possess genius is only a beginning4 ,we have to train it1 to lead it1 to coax it even1 until it learns to be obedient4 ,genius and obedience4 ,don't the two terms quarrel8 ,they should not4 ,obedience is a very magnificent thing1 ,cresswell1 just as to have to struggle1 to be obliged to fight1 is a very magnificent thing4 ,yes1 ,valentine answered1 thoughtfully4 ,i believe you are right4 ,but1 if you are right1 ,i have missed a great deal4 ,how do you deduce that8 ,in this way4 ,i have never had to be obedient4 ,i have never had to struggle4 ,surely the latter1 the little doctor said1 fixing his clear1 kind eyes on ,valentine's face4 ,i don't think1 in all my experience1 that ,i have ever met a man who lived a fine1 pure life without fixing the bayonet and using the sword at moments4 ,there must be an occasional mle4 ,indeed not2 that is to say1 ,valentine rather hastily added1 as regards the pure life4 ,for ,i cannot lay claim to anything fine4 ,but ,i assure you that my life has been pure without a struggle4 ,without one8 ,think6 ,without one4 ,perhaps that is what wearies me at moments1 doctor1 the completeness of my coldness4 ,perhaps it is this lack of necessity to struggle that has at last begun to render me dissatisfied4 ,i thought you were free from that evil humour of dissatisfaction1 that evil humour which crowds my consulting-rooms and wastes away the very tissues of the body4 ,i have been1 until quite lately4 ,i have been neither pessimist nor optimist--just myself1 and ,i believe happy4 ,and what is this change8 and what has it led to8 ,it was to tell you that ,i asked you here to-night4 ,they had finished dinner1 and rose from the table4 ,passing through the hall of the club1 they went into a huge high room1 papered with books4 ,valentine led the way to a secluded corner1 and gave the doctor a cigar4 ,when he had lit it and settled himself comfortably1 his rather small feet1 in their marvellously polished boots1 lightly crossed1 his head reposing serenely on the back of his chair1 ,valentine continued1 answering his attentive silence4 ,it has led to what ,i suppose you would call an absurdity4 ,but first1 the change itself4 ,a sort of dissatisfaction has been creeping over me1 perhaps for a long while1 ,i being unconscious of it4 ,at length ,i became conscious4 ,i found that ,i was weary of being so free from the impulse to sin--to sin1 ,i mean1 in definite1 active ways1 as young men sin4 ,it seemed to me that ,i was missing a great deal1 missing the delight sin is said to give to natures1 or at least missing the invigorating necessity you have just mentioned1 the necessity to fight1 to wage war against impulses4 ,i understand4 ,and one night ,i expressed this feeling to ,julian4 ,to ,addison8 the doctor said1 an expression of keen interest sliding into his face4 ,i should much like to know how he received it4 ,he said1 of course1 that such a dissatisfaction was rather monstrous4 ,was that all8 ,no4 ,he told me he considered temptation rather a curse than otherwise1 and then he surprised me very much4 ,he told you a secret8 ,why1 yes4 ,the secret of your great influence over his life8 ,you knew of this secret1 then8 ,he didn't tell it to me4 ,long ago ,i divined it4 ,addison is a very interesting fellow to a doctor1 and the fact of his strong friendship with you has made him more interesting even than he would otherwise have been4 ,his physique is tremendous4 ,he has a quite unusual vitality1 and stronger passions by far than most ,englishmen4 ,i confess that my knowledge of human nature led me to foresee a very troubled and too vehement future for him4 ,my anticipation being utterly falsified led me naturally to look round for the reason of its falsification4 ,i very soon found that reason in you4 ,i had never suspected it4 ,your lack of suspicion was not the least reason of the influence you exercised4 ,possibly4 ,he told me of the strength of his evil impulses1 of how he hated their assaults1 and of how being with me enabled him to conquer them4 ,apparently the contemplation of my unnatural nature is an armour to him4 ,it is4 ,well1 ,i continued to bewail my condition1 which he envied1 and it ended in our sitting down1 in jest1 to make an experiment to try to exchange our souls4 ,what means did you take8 ,and then ,valentine told ,dr4 ,levillier the exact circumstances of the three sittings1 without embellishment1 without omission of any kind4 ,he listened with keen attention1 and without attempting interruption or intruding comment4 ,when ,valentine had finished he made no remark4 ,what do you think of it1 doctor8 ,of what part of it8 ,of any part4 ,do you attach any importance to it8 ,i do1 certainly4 ,i thought you would laugh at the whole thing4 ,why should ,i8 ,why should ,i laugh at any circumstances which strongly affect men whom ,i know1 or1 indeed1 any men8 ,but then1 tell me1 do you believe in some strange1 unseen agency8 ,do you believe that ,julian absolutely held the hand of some being dwelling in another sphere1 some being attracted to us1 or1 say1 enabled to come to us by such an action as our sitting at a table in the dark8 ,no4 ,i don't believe that4 ,you attribute the whole thing to bodily causes8 ,i am inclined to attribute it to the action and reaction of mind and body1 undoubtedly4 ,if you had sat in the light1 for instance1 ,i don't think ,addison would have felt that hand4 ,the hand is indeed the least of the circumstances you have related1 in my opinion4 ,the incidents of the dog and of the curtain are far more mysterious4 ,you are positive the door was securely shut8 ,quite positive4 ,could you1 after having drawn the curtain1 have allowed your hand to slip slightly back1 pulling the curtain with it8 ,i don't think so4 ,i feel sure not4 ,you know we all constantly make involuntary motions--motions that our minds are quite unaware of4 ,i do feel sure1 nevertheless4 ,and the dog8 ,what do you say to that8 ,i don't know what to say4 ,but dogs are extraordinarily sensitive4 ,i do not think it beyond the bounds of possibility that the tumult of your nerves--for there was tumult2 you confess it--communicated itself to him4 ,and was the cause of his conduct8 ,yes4 ,in the course of my career ,i have been consulted by a great many patients whose nervous systems have been disastrously upset by the practices you describe1 by so-called spiritualism1 table-turning1 and so forth4 ,one man ,i knew1 trying to cultivate himself onto what he called 'a higher plane1' cultivated himself into a lunatic asylum1 where he still remains4 ,then you consider spiritualism--8 ,i have too much respect for the soul1 too much belief in its great destiny1 ,cresswell1 to juggle with it1 or to play tricks with it4 ,when one meets a genius one does not want to have a game at puss-in-the-corner with him4 ,one is rather anxious to hear him talk seriously and display his mind4 ,when ,i come into contact with a soul1 ,i don't want to try to detach it from the home in which a divine power has placed it for a time4 ,i glory in many limitations against which it is the prevailing fashion to fight uselessly4 ,the soul can do all its work where it is--in the body4 ,the influence you exercise over your friend ,addison convinces me of the existence of spirits1 things which will eventually be freed from the body1 more certainly than any amount of material manifestations1 sights1 sounds1 apparent physical sensations4 ,why should we not be satisfied with remaining1 for a time1 as we are8 ,i consider that you and ,addison were ill-advised in making this--no doubt absurd--experiment4 ,supposing it to be absurd1 the raison d'tre of the sittings is gone at once4 ,supposing it not to be-- ,yes4 ,what1 then8 ,then the danger is great4 ,imagine yourself with ,addison's soul or nature1 him with yours4 ,to what might not you be led8 ,how do you know that your nature in him would exert any control over his nature in you8 ,why should it not8 ,there comes in the power of the body1 which is very great4 ,i believe1 as you know1 absolutely in the existence of the soul1 and in its immortal destiny2 but that does not blind me to the extraordinary influence1 the extraordinary kingship1 which a mere body1 a mere husk and shell1 as some good people call it--,i don't feel with them--can obtain not only over another body1 but1 strangely1 over the soul which is in that body4 ,your influence over ,addison has been1 and is1 immense4 ,do you imagine that it is simply your nature which governs him8 ,i suppose so4 ,your mere appearance may have an immense deal to do with the matter4 ,you have the look1 the expression1 of one who has not sinned4 ,it is partly that which keeps ,addison from giving the reins to his impulses4 ,i consider that if it were possible for your nature to change secretly and for your face to remain unchanged1 if you sinned perpetually and retained your exact appearance1 and if ,addison did not know you sinned1 you could still be his guardian1 while1 really1 yourself far worse in every way than him4 ,but surely that fights against your theory that the existence of a soul is proved by such an influence as ,i possess over ,addison8 ,not at all4 ,i said if it were possible for the body not to express the soul1 if--but that's just the difficulty1 it is not possible4 ,the body manifests the soul4 ,supposing it were not so1 the power of evil1 the devil1 if you choose to name it and imply a personal existence for it1 might have hold of the world even more tightly than now4 ,just conceive1 under such conditions1 how you might lure ,addison to destruction if you desired to do so4 ,looking at you1 and seeing the same face in which he has learned to see what he thinks entire goodness1 he would be unable to believe that any action you could suggest and take part in could be evil4 ,you could wreck his future with a perfect ease4 ,but1 as things are1 did your nature change and become malignant1 your face would change too1 and you might quickly cease to exercise a strong influence over ,addison4 ,he might even1 having now been unconsciously trained into a curious integrity1 learn to hate and to despise you4 ,you remember our conversation to-night about that symphony8 ,yes4 ,i said that the soul which could reproduce hell should be able to reproduce heaven4 ,i know4 ,well1 my boy--for you are a boy to me--the reverse of that might happen also4 ,perhaps4 ,but ,i don't quite see4 ,the application--to you8 ,to me8 ,yes1 to you1 ,cresswell4 ,you have been given a strangely perfect nature4 ,as you say1 you seem to have nothing to do with the matter4 ,you have even been inclined to rebel against your gift4 ,but1 take my advice4 ,cherish it4 ,don't play with it1 as you have been playing4 ,remember1 if you lose heaven1 the space once filled by heaven will not be left empty4 ,ah6 now ,i see4 ,you think that ,i-- ,might swing from a great height to an equally great depth4 ,that has been my experience--that the man who is once extreme is always extreme1 but not always in the same way4 ,the greatest libertines have made the greatest ascetics4 ,but1 within my own experience1 ,i have known the reverse process to obtain4 ,and you1 if you changed1 might carry ,addison with you4 ,but then1 doctor1 you do believe in these manifestations8 ,not necessarily4 ,but ,i believe that the minds of men are often very carefully1 very deftly1 poised1 and that a little push can send them one way or the other4 ,have you ever balanced one billiard-ball on the top of another8 ,yes4 ,then you know that a breath will upset it and send it rolling4 ,be careful4 ,your mind1 your very nature1 may be poised like that billiard-ball4 ,addison's may be the same4 ,indeed1 ,i feel sure ,addison's is4 ,that curious dread of you which overcame him at your last sitting is a sign of it4 ,the whole thing is wrong--bad for body and for mind4 ,perhaps4 ,well1 we have definitely agreed to give it up4 ,that's well4 ,eleven o'clock6 ,i must be going4 ,are you doing anything to-morrow night8 ,no4 ,i have got a box for this new play at the ,duke's ,theatre4 ,will you come8 ,with pleasure4 ,i will ask ,addison also4 ,they put on their overcoats1 and walked a little way along ,pall ,mall before they parted4 ,near the ,atheneaum they passed a tall1 thin man1 who was coming in the opposite direction4 ,he turned round as they went by1 and stood directly regarding them till they were out of sight4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,,the ,,regent ,,street ,,episode ,the things we do apparently by chance often have a curious applicability to the things we have thought4 ,john the ,baptist was sent to prepare the way of the ,lord4 ,these thoughts are the ,john the ,baptists of the mind1 and prepare the way for facts that often startlingly illustrate them4 ,it is as if our thoughts were gradually materialized by the action of the mind2 as if1 by the act of thinking1 we projected them4 ,when ,doctor ,levillier got a box for the first night of the new play at the ,duke's ,theatre1 and when he invited ,valentine and ,julian to make up his party1 he had no idea what the subject of the piece was1 no notion that it would have anything to do with the conversation which took place between him and ,valentine at the club4 ,but the plot applied with almost amazing fidelity to much that he had said upon that occasion4 ,the play was a modern allegory of the struggle between good and evil1 which has been illustrated in so many different ways since the birth of the ,faust legend4 ,but the piece had a certain curious originality which sprang from the daring of the author4 ,instead of showing one result of the struggle1 a good man drawn gradually down1 or a bad man drawn gradually up1 he set forth1 with a great deal of detail1 a great deal of vividness1 a modern wobbler1 a human pendulum1 and simply noted down1 as it were1 his slow swinging backwards and forwards4 ,his hero1 an evil liver1 a modern man of wrath in the first act1 dominated by a particular vice1 was drawn1 by an outside personal influence1 from the mire in which he was wallowing1 to purity1 to real elevation4 ,but his author1 having led him up to the pinnacle1 had no intention of leaving him there1 blessed by the proclaimed admiration of the gods in the gallery4 ,in the succeeding acts he introduced a second personal influence1 exerted this time on the side of evil1 and permitted it to act upon his central figure successfully4 ,the man fell again into the mire1 and was left there at the conclusion of the piece1 but hugging a different sin1 not the sin he had been embracing when the curtain rose upon the first act4 ,this dramatic scheme took away the breath of the house for a moment1 but only for a moment4 ,then the lungs once more did their accustomed duty1 and enabled a large number of excited persons to hiss with a wonderful penetration4 ,their well-meant efforts did not have the effect of terrorizing the author4 ,on the contrary1 he quickly responded to the hostile uproar1 and1 coming forward in a very neat ,jaeger suit1 a flannel shirt1 and a pair of admirably fitting doeskin gloves1 bowed with great gravity and perfect self-possession4 ,the hisses thereupon suddenly faded into piercing entreaties for a speech1 in which a gallery lady with a powerful soprano voice became notorious as the leader4 ,but the ,jaeger author was not to be prevailed upon4 ,he waved the doeskin gloves in token of adieu1 and retreated once more into the excited obscurity of the wings1 where his manager was trembling like an aspen1 in the midst of a perspiring company4 ,the lights were turned down4 ,the orchestra burst into a tuneful jig1 and the lingering audience at length began to disperse4 ,dr4 ,levillier1 ,julian1 and ,valentine left their box in silence4 ,it seemed that this odd play1 which dared to be natural1 had impressed them4 ,they walked into the vestibule without a word1 and1 avoiding many voluble friends who were letting off the steam as they gathered their coats and hats from a weary lady in a white cap1 they threaded their way through the crowd and emerged into the street4 ,just as they reached the portico1 ,julian suddenly started and laid his hand on ,valentine's arm4 ,what is it8 asked ,valentine1 looking round4 ,ah6 you're just too late4 ,he's gone6 ,he--who8 ,marr4 ,oh1 ,valentine said1 showing considerable interest2 ,i wish ,i had seen him4 ,where was he sitting8 ,i haven't an idea4 ,didn't know he was in the theatre4 ,doctor ,levillier made an exception to his rule of being in bed by twelve o'clock that night1 and accepted ,valentine's invitation to sup in ,victoria ,street4 ,he had always been greatly drawn to ,valentine1 attracted by the latter's exceptional clarity of character1 and he was scarcely less interested in ,julian4 ,nor did the considerable difference between his age and the ages of the two youths in any way interfere with their pleasant intercourse4 ,for ,levillier had a heart that was ageless4 ,the corroding years did not act as acid upon it4 ,all his sympathies were as keen1 all his power of enjoyment was as great1 as when he had been a delightfully gay and delightfully pleasant boy at school4 ,youth always loved him1 and age always respected him4 ,he possessed the great secret of a beautiful life4 ,he was absolutely genuine1 and he meant nothing but good to all with whom he was brought into contact4 ,the three friends spoke but little as they went back to the flat1 but when they had sat down to supper1 and ,dr4 ,levillier had expressed his complete satisfaction with the champagne that ,valentine's butler had politely insinuated into his glass1 the silence took to itself wings and lightly departed4 ,they talked of the play1 and it appeared that they were all impressed by it1 but in slightly different ways1 and for different reasons4 ,valentine1 who was intensely1 but sometimes almost coldly1 artistic1 appreciated it1 he said1 because it did not obviously endeavour to work out a problem or to teach a lesson4 ,it simply1 with a great deal of literary finish and dramatic force1 stated a curiously human character1 showed the nature of a man at work1 and left him1 after some scenes of his life1 still at work upon his own salvation or destruction1 not telling the audience what his end would be1 scarcely even trying to imply his innate tendency one way or the other4 ,this satisfied ,valentine4 ,this had made him feel as if he had seen a block cut out of life4 ,i do not want to learn what becomes of that man1 he said4 ,i have known him1 good and bad4 ,that is enough4 ,that satisfies me more than the sight of a thousand bombastic heroes1 a thousand equally bombastic villains4 ,life is neither ebony nor ivory4 ,that man is something to my mind forever1 as ,ibsen's ',master ,builder' is something4 ,i can never forget the one or the other4 ,your life is ivory1 ,val1 ,julian said4 ,he had liked the play because the violent struggle between good and evil woke up many responsive memories in his mind4 ,the hero of the play had been shown feeling precisely as ,julian had often felt4 ,that was enough4 ,he did not very much care for the brilliant artifice1 which ,valentine had remarked with so much pleasure4 ,he did not specially note the peculiar effect of nature produced by the simplicity and thoughtful directness of the dialogue4 ,he only knew that he had seen somebody whose nature was akin to his own nature1 although placed in different1 perhaps more dramatic1 circumstances4 ,dr4 ,levillier combined1 to some appreciable extent1 the different joys of his two companions1 and obtained another that was quite his own4 ,he had seen two horses running in double harness that night1 the body and mind of the hero1 and had taken delight in observing what had practically escaped the definite notice of his companions1 the ingenuity and subtlety with which the author1 without being obtrusive or insistent1 had displayed their liaison2 the effect of each upon the other1 their answering excursions and alarums1 their attempts at separate amours1 amours that always had an inevitable effect upon the one which the other had1 for the moment1 endeavoured to exclude from its life4 ,the doctor in him and the priest in him had both enjoyed a glorious evening of bracing activity4 ,as they discussed the piece1 and each advanced his reason of pleasure1 the doctor expanded into a sort of saintly geniality1 which was peculiarly attractive even to sinners4 ,and when supper was over1 and they strolled into the drawing-room to smoke and to make music1 he sank into a chair1 stretched out his polished boots with a sigh1 and said3 ,and people say there is so little joy in life6 ,julian laughed at the satisfied whimsicality of his exclamation and of the expression which shadowed it4 ,light up1 doctor1 he cried4 ,you are a boon to this modern world4 ,for you see all the sorrows of life1 ,i suppose1 and yet you always manage to convey the impression that the joys win the battle after all4 ,valentine had gone over to the piano and was dreamily opening it4 ,he did not seem to hear what they were saying4 ,the doctor obeyed the injunction to light up4 ,he was one of the hardest and most assiduous toilers in all ,london1 and he appreciated a good cigar and a comfortable arm-chair more than some men could appreciate ,paradise1 or some women appreciate love4 ,and ,i believe that joy will win the battle in the end1 he said1 with a puff that proved successful4 ,why8 ,i see evidences of it1 or think ,i do4 ,the colour will fade out of bad acts1 ,addison1 but the colour of a good act is eternal4 ,a noble deed will never emulate a ,sir ,joshua ,reynolds--never4 ,play to us1 ,cresswell4 ,yes1 but ,i wish you to talk4 ,i want to improvise to-night4 ,the murmur of your conversation will help me4 ,julian sat down by the doctor4 ,he1 too1 looked very happy4 ,it was a pleasant hour4 ,sympathy was in that pretty room1 complete human sympathy1 and a sympathy that sprang from their vitality1 avoiding the dusky dumbness of the phlegmatic4 ,valentine sat down at the piano and began gently to play4 ,the smoke from the cigars curled away towards the watching pictures2 the room was full of soft music4 ,yes1 ,addison1 ,doctor ,levillier continued1 in a low voice1 ,i am perpetually sitting with sorrow1 communing with disease4 ,that consulting-room of mine is as a pool of ,bethesda1 only not all who come to it1 alas6 can be healed4 ,i sit day by day in my confessional--,i like to call it that2 perhaps ,i was meant to be a priest--and ,i read the stories of the lives of men and of women1 most of them necessarily1 from the circumstances which bring them to me1 sad4 ,and yet ,i have a belief in joy and its triumph which nothing can ever shake1 a belief in the final glory of good which nothing can ever conquer4 ,that's fine1 doctor4 ,but do you know why you have it8 ,i daresay that question is difficult to answer4 ,i often seek for my reasons1 ,addison1 and ,i find many1 though ,i can hardly say which is the best1 or whether any quite explains the faith that is always in me4 ,apropos of this evening1 by the bye1 ,i long ago found one of my reasons in the theatre1 the theatre which some really good men hate and condemn4 ,what was that8 ,oh1 a very simple one4 ,i believe that men in the mass express eternal truths more readily1 more certainly1 than men as individuals4 ,put a lot of bad men1 or--we won't call them bad1 why should we8--loose1 careless1 thoughtless men1 together in the pit of a theatre4 ,many of them1 perhaps1 drink1 and are rendered cruel by drink4 ,many of them care nothing for morality1 and have wounded1 in the worst way1 the souls of women4 ,many of them show incessant hardness in most of the relations of life4 ,what1 then1 is it1 that makes all these individuals respond so directly1 so certainly1 to every touch of goodness1 and gentleness1 and unselfishness1 and purity1 and faith1 that is put before them upon the stage8 ,i think it must be that eternal truth--the rocks of good that lie forever beneath the wild seas of evil4 ,those men don't know themselves2 don't know that it is all useless for them to try to hide the nobility which has been put into them1 to thrust it down1 and1 metaphorically1 to dance on it4 ,they can't get rid of it1 do what they will4 ,i like to think of goodness as the shadow of evil through life1 the shadow that1 at death1 or perhaps long after death1 becomes the substance4 ,you think we cannot kill the good that is in us8 ,not quite4 ,but ,i think we can go near to killing it1 so near that it will take longer to recover and to be itself again1 longer far than the most relapsing typhoid patient4 ,and have you other reasons for your belief8 ,perhaps4 ,but some of them are difficult to define1 and would carry no conviction to any one but myself4 ,there is one in this very room with us4 ,julian glanced up1 surprised4 ,what is that1 doctor8 he said4 ,you ought to know better than ,i1 ,levillier answered4 ,he was looking at ,valentine1 who1 apparently quite unconscious of their presence1 was still playing rather softly4 ,julian followed his eyes4 ,the light in the room was dim1 a carefully manufactured twilight4 ,it is strange how many things1 and how slight1 stir1 control1 influence in one direction or another1 the emotions4 ,light and the absence of light can divert a heart as easily as the pressing of a button can give a warship to the sea4 ,twilight and music can change a beast into a man1 a man into an angel1 for the moment4 ,long after that evening was dead1 both ,julian and ,doctor ,levillier anxiously1 and in their different ways analytically1 considered it4 ,they submitted it to a secret process of probing1 such as many men enforce upon what they imagine to be great causes in their lives4 ,that hour became an hour of wonder1 an hour of amazement1 viewed in the illumination of subsequent events4 ,they found in it a curious climax of misunderstanding1 a culmination of all deceptive things4 ,and yet1 in that hour they only watched a young man of ,london1 a modern intellectual youth1 playing in a ,victoria ,street drawing-room upon a ,steinway grand piano4 ,they were sitting sideways to ,valentine1 and a little behind him4 ,therefore he could not easily see them unless he slightly turned his head4 ,but they could observe him1 and1 obeying ,doctor ,levillier's mute injunction1 ,julian now did so4 ,valentine was gazing straight before him over the top1 of the piano1 and his eyes seemed to be fixed upon the dim figure of ,christ in the picture of ,the ,merciful ,knight4 ,was he not playing to the picture1 playing to that figure in it8 ,and did not his musical imagination seek to reproduce in sound the vision of the life of that mailed knight who never lived and died8 ,the purity of his expression1 always consummate1 was to-night more peculiar1 more unearthly1 than before in any place1 at any moment4 ,and1 as mere line can convey to the senses of man a conception of a great virtue or of a great vice1 the actual shape of his features1 thus seen in profile1 was the embodiment of an exquisitely ascetic purity1 as much an embodiment as is a drop of water pierced by a sunbeam4 ,this struck both ,doctor ,levillier and ,julian1 and the doctor was amazed anew at the silent decree that the invisible shall be made visible in forms comprehensible to the commonest minds4 ,sin would surely flee from a temple sculptured in such a shape as the body of ,valentine1 as a vampire would flee from the bloodless courts of the heaven of the ,revelation4 ,lust cannot lie at ease on a crystal couch1 or rest its dark head upon a pillow of pale ivory4 ,and the message of this strange1 unearthly youth now given in music1 and to the air and the dust--for ,valentine had lost knowledge of his friends--was crystalline too4 ,in his improvisation he journeyed through many themes of varying characters4 ,he hymned the knight's temptation no less than his triumph4 ,but purity was in the hymn even at the hour of temptation1 and sang like a bird in every scene of the life1--a purity classical1 detached1 so refined as to be almost physically cold4 ,i understand you1 ,julian whispered to the little doctor4 ,yes1 you are right4 ,he is a great reason why what you think may be true4 ,and yet--here ,julian lowered his voice to a breath1 lest he might disturb the player--he is not religious1 as--as--well1 as you are4 ,forgive the allusion--4 ,are the angels religious8 said ,doctor ,levillier4 ,why should you refrain1 my dear boy8 ,but you are right4 ,there is a curious unconsciousness about ,cresswell--about ,valentine--which seems to exclude even definite religious belief as something in a way self-conscious1 and so impossible to him4 ,there is an extraordinary strain of the child in ,cresswell1 such as ,i conceive to be in unearthly beings1 who have never had the power to sin4 ,and the best-behaved1 sweetest child in the world might catch flies or go to sleep during the ,litany or a sermon4 ,this very absence of controversial or dogmatic religion gives ,valentine much of his power1 seems positively to lift him higher than religionists of any creed4 ,you think--you think that perhaps it is something in him of which he is unconscious which does so much for me8 ,perhaps it is4 ,valentine now glided into an accompaniment1 and began to sing4 ,and the doctor and ,julian ceased to talk4 ,valentine certainly did not sing with such peculiar skill as he showed in playing1 but he had a charming voice which he used with great ease1 and he never sang a single note1 or phrased a passage1 without complete intelligence and understanding of his composer4 ,only he lacked power4 ,this scarcely interfered with the pleasure he could give in a drawing-room1 and to-night both ,levillier and ,julian were rather in a mood for supreme delicacy than for great passion4 ,they listened with silent pleasure for a time4 ,then ,levillier said3 ,do you remark how wonderfully the timbre of ,cresswell's voice expresses the timbre of his mind8 ,the parallel is exact4 ,julian nodded4 ,that is his soul written in sound1 the doctor added4 ,it was at this point that ,valentine ceased and got up from the piano4 ,i must smoke too1 he said4 ,no1 not a cigar1 ,i'll have a cigarette to-night4 ,you are fond of that picture1 ,cresswell8 said ,doctor ,levillier as ,valentine sat down4 ',the ,merciful ,knight'8 ,yes1 ,i love it4 ,have you told ,julian your opinion of our sittings1 doctor8 ,no4 ,he didn't ask me for it4 ,i should be glad to have it1 all the same1 ,julian said4 ,well1 my opinion is entirely adverse to your proceedings1 ,levillier said1 with his usual frankness4 ,you are1 in fact1 at the opposite pole from ,marr1 ,julian answered4 ,marr6 ,who is ,marr8 ,i never heard of him4 ,nor ,i1 until the other evening1 ,julian said4 ,but now ,i see him every day4 ,he was at the theatre to-night4 ,i saw him as we came out4 ,what is he1 a spiritualist8 ,a professional8 ,oh dear1 no6 ,he calls himself an occultist4 ,he goes out in society a great deal1 apparently4 ,i met him at dinner first4 ,since then he has taken the keenest interest in my sittings with ,valentine4 ,indeed6 ,you know him1 ,cresswell8 ,valentine shook his head1 and ,julian laughed4 ,the fun of it is that ,marr doesn't wish to know ,valentine1 he said4 ,why8 the doctor asked4 ,julian told him the words ,marr had used in reference to ,valentine1 and gave a fairly minute description of ,marr's attitude towards their proceedings4 ,levillier listened with great attention4 ,then this man urges you to go on with your sittings8 he said when ,julian had finished4 ,scarcely that4 ,but he certainly seems anxious that we should4 ,you have both resolved to give them up1 haven't you8 ,certainly1 doctor1 ,valentine replied4 ,does ,marr know that8 ,levillier asked of ,julian4 ,no4 ,i haven't seen him to speak to since our final sitting4 ,the little doctor sat in apparent meditation for two or three minutes4 ,then he remarked1 with abruptness3 ,addison1 will you think me an impertinent elderly person if ,i give you a piece of advice8 ,you--doctor6 ,of course not4 ,what is it8 ,well1 you young fellows know me1 know that ,i am not a mere sentimentalist or believer in every humbug that is the fashion of the moment4 ,but one thing ,i do firmly believe1 that certain people are born with a power to command1 or direct others1 which amounts to force4 ,the world doesn't completely recognize this4 ,the law doesn't recognize1 perhaps ought not to recognize it4 ,some call it hypnotism4 ,i call it suggestion4 ,he paused1 as if he had finished4 ,but your advice1 doctor8 ,julian said1 wondering4 ,oh1 h'm6 ,i don't mean to give it to you1 after all4 ,why8 ,doctor ,levillier became enigmatic4 ,because ,i have just remembered that to warn is often to supply a cause of stumbling1 he said4 ,dr4 ,levillier and ,julian drove together as far as the latter's chambers that evening1 and1 after bidding ,julian good-night1 the doctor dismissed the cab and set out to walk to ,harley ,street4 ,he proceeded at a leisurely pace along ,piccadilly1 threading his way abstractedly among the wandering wisps of painted humanity that dye the ,london night with rouge4 ,occasionally a passing man in evening dress would bid him good-night1 for he was universally known in the town4 ,but he did not reply4 ,with his firm round chin pressed down upon his fur coat1 and his eyelids lowered1 he moved thoughtfully4 ,the problem of the relations existing between youth and life eternally fascinated him4 ,he pondered over them now4 ,what a strange1 complicated liaison it was1 sometimes so happy1 sometimes so disastrous1 always1 to him1 pathetic4 ,youth sets up house with life as a lover sets up house with his mistress1 takes an attic near the stars1 or builds a mansion that amazes the street-urchins4 ,and they dwell together4 ,and youth strives in every way to know his mistress4 ,he tests her1 tries her1 kisses and cuffs her1 gives her presents1 weeps at her knees4 ,and at first she is magical1 and a wonder1 and a dream1 and eternity4 ,and then1 perhaps1 she is a faded creature1 and terrible as a lost girl whom one has known in innocence4 ,she is grim and arid4 ,she fills youth with a great horror and with a great fear4 ,he dare not kiss her any more4 ,and then1 perhaps1 at last he prays1 ,deliver me from this bondage6 ,and he thinks that he knows his mistress4 ,but1 happy or sad1 does he ever quite know her8 ,is she not always a mystery1 this life1 a sphinx who jealously guards a great secret8 ,his evening with the two boys1 for so the doctor called them in his thoughts1 had set him musing thus definitely4 ,was there not a wonder and a secret in their dual life of friendship8 ,for is not the potent influence of one soul over another one of the marvels of time8 ,the doctor loved ,valentine as a human saint loves another saint4 ,but he loved ,julian as a saint loves a sinner4 ,not that he named ,julian sinner1 but it was impossible to be with him1 observantly1 sensitively1 and not to feel the thrill of his warm1 passionate humanity1 which cried aloud for governance1 for protection4 ,julian could be great1 with the greatness only attained by purged humanity1 superior surely to the peaceful purity of angels4 ,but he could be a castaway1 oh6 as much a castaway as the fainting shipwrecked man whom the hoarse surf rolls to the sad island of a desert sea4 ,without ,valentine what might he not have been8 ,and the little doctor let his imagination run loose until his light eyes were dim with absurd tears4 ,he winked them away as he turned into ,regent ,street4 ,the hour was nearly two1 and the great curved thoroughfare was rather deserted4 ,those few persons who were about had a curious aspect of wolves4 ,their eyes were watchful2 their gait denoted a ghastly readiness for pause1 for colloquy4 ,poor creatures6 ,what was their liaison with life8 ,a thing like a cry for help in the dark4 ,the doctor longed to be a miracle-worker1 to lift up his hands1 just there where he was by the ,new ,gallery1 and to say1 ,be ye healed6 ,he had a true love for every human thing4 ,and that love sometimes seared his heart1 despite his fervent faith and hope4 ,but now1 as he pursued his way1 a physical sensation intruded itself upon his mind1 and gradually excluded all his reflections4 ,a sense of bodily uneasiness came upon him1 of a curious irritation and contempt1 mingled with fear4 ,he at first ascribed it to the coffee he had imprudently drunk at ,valentine's flat1 and to the strength of the two cigars he had smoked1 or to some ordinary1 trifling cause of diet4 ,but by the time he crossed ,oxford ,street1 and was in the desert of ,vere ,street1 he felt that there was a reason for his distress1 outside of him4 ,i am being followed1 he said to himself4 ,i am being followed1 and by some utterly abominable person4 ,he went by the ,chapel1 and struck across to the right1 not looking behind him1 but analyzing his feelings4 ,being strongly intuitive1 he had no need to turn his head4 ,he knew now for certain the cause of his uneasiness4 ,some dreadful human being was very near to him1 full of hateful thoughts1 sinister recollections1 possibly evil intentions4 ,something1 the very vibrations of the night air1 it might be1 carried1 as a telegraph wire conveys a message1 the soul-aroma of this human being to the doctor4 ,as he walked on1 not hurrying1 he mutely diagnosed the heart of this unseen being4 ,it seemed full of deadly disease4 ,never had he suspected man or woman of such wickedness as he divined here2 never had he felt from any of his kind such a sick repulsion as from this unseen monster who was journeying steadily in his steps4 ,doctor ,levillier was puzzled at the depth of the horror which beleaguered him4 ,he remembered once driving a staid1 well-behaved horse in a country lane4 ,the animal ambled forward at a gentle pace1 flicking its ears lazily to circumvent the flies1 apparently at ease with its driver and with the world4 ,but suddenly it raised its head1 drew the air into its distended nostrils1 stopped1 quivered in every limb1 and then1 with a strange cry1 bolted like a mad thing4 ,far away a travelling menagerie was encamping4 ,it had scented the wild animals4 ,doctor ,levillier felt like that horse4 ,a longing to bolt for his life came upon him4 ,he had an impulse to cry out1 to run forward1 to escape out of the atmosphere created by this evil nature1 this deadly life4 ,he could have crept like a coward into the shadow of one of the areas of ,henrietta ,street1 and sheltered there till the thing went past4 ,and1 just because he had this almost overmastering desire to flee1 he stood still1 paused abruptly1 and1 without turning his head1 listened4 ,at a distance1 and he judged1 round the corner of the street he heard the sound of a quickening footstep advancing in his direction4 ,he waited1 under the obligation of exerting all his powers of self-control2 for his limbs trembled to movement1 his heart beat to the march1 and every separate vein1 every separate hair of his body1 seemed crying out piercingly to begone4 ,the footstep approached4 ,doctor ,levillier heard it turning the corner4 ,now1 thought he1 this person will see me waiting here4 ,will he come on8 ,will he pass me8 ,and if he does1 shall ,i be able to await1 to endure the incident8 ,and he listened1 as a scout might listen in the night for sounds of the hidden enemy4 ,upon turning the corner1 the footsteps advanced a pace or two1 faltered1 slackened1 stopped4 ,for an instant there was silence4 ,the doctor knew that the man had been struck by his attentive figure1 and was pausing to regard it1 to consider it4 ,what would be the result of the inspection8 ,in a moment the doctor knew4 ,the footsteps sounded again1 this time in retreat4 ,on this the impulse of the doctor to flee changed1 giving way to a strict desire and determination4 ,he was resolved to interview this night-wanderer1 to see his face4 ,a greedy anxiety for view1 for question1 of this person came upon him4 ,he1 too1 wheeled round1 and followed hastily in pursuit4 ,the man had already escaped from his sight into ,vere ,street1 and the doctor broke into a soft run until he reached the corner1 skirting which1 the man was immediately in his view1 but at a considerable distance from him4 ,as the doctor sprang upon the pavement the man turned round1 and1 evidently observing that he was pursued1 quickened his steps impulsively4 ,the doctor was now absolutely determined to address him1 and began openly to run4 ,and he was not far from coming up with the fellow when he suddenly whistled a passing hansom1 bounded in1 and thrust up the trapdoor in the roof4 ,the direction given was sufficiently obvious1 for the cabby glanced round at the doctor1 lifted his whip1 brought it down with a sweep over the horse's loins1 and the cab disappeared down ,oxford ,street at a rocking gallop4 ,the doctor paused4 ,he was breathing hard1 and the perspiration stood upon his face4 ,his disappointment was absurdly keen1 and for an instant he had even some idea of hailing another cab1 and of following in pursuit4 ,but1 upon reflection1 he deemed it more reasonable to return upon his steps1 and to seek his bed in ,harley ,street4 ,this accordingly he did1 wondering what had moved him so strangely1 and wondering1 also1 not a little1 at the abrupt flight of the unknown person4 ,in the brief and distant view of him1 which was all that the doctor had obtained1 he judged him to be tall1 spare1 and pale of countenance1 with the figure of a gentleman4 ,the aspect of his face had not been revealed before the shelter of the cab concealed him4 ,,chapter ,,viii ,,pause ,it chanced that for three or four days after the night of the theatre expedition ,valentine and ,julian did not meet4 ,they were rarely apart for so long a period1 and each was moved to wonder at this unwonted abstinence of their friendship4 ,what was the cause of it8 ,each found it in a curious hesitation that enveloped him1 and impelled him to avoidance of the other4 ,valentine went about as usual4 ,he looked in at ,white's1 dined out1 rode in the park1 visited two theatres1 lived the habitual ,london life which contents so many and disgusts not a few4 ,but he did not ask ,julian to share any of these well-worn doings1 and at first he did not acknowledge to himself why he did not do so4 ,he sought1 more definitely than ever before1 to gain amusement from amusements1 and this definite intention1 of course1 frustrated his purpose4 ,his power of pleasure was1 in fact1 clogged by an abiding sense of dissatisfaction and depression4 ,and it was really his eventual knowledge of this depression's cause that led him to bar ,julian out from these few days of his life4 ,all that he did bored him1 and the more decidedly because he came to know that there was something which did not bore1 which even excited him1 something which he had resolved to give up4 ,he was1 in fact1 strangely pursued by an unreasonable desire to fly in the face of ,doctor ,levillier's advice1 and of his own secondary antagonistic desire1 and to sit again with ,julian4 ,everything in which he sought to find distraction1 lacked savour4 ,as he sat watching a ballet that glittered with electricity1 and was one twinkle of coloured movement1 he found himself longing for the silence1 the gloom1 the live expectation of the tentroom1 night1 and ,julian4 ,at ,white's the conversation of the men struck him as even more scrappy1 more desultorily scandalous1 than usual4 ,his morning ride was an active ennui1 an ennui revolving1 like a horse in a circus1 round and round the weariness of the park4 ,yet he had made up his mind quite fully that it would be better not to sit any more4 ,it was not merely ,doctor ,levillier's urgency that had impressed him thus4 ,a personal conviction had gradually forced itself upon him that if anything resulted from such apparently imbecile proceedings it would certainly not be of an agreeable nature4 ,but1 too1 this very sense that a secret danger might be lurking against him and ,julian1 if only they would consent together to give it power by the united action of sitting1 spurred him on to restless desire4 ,it is not only the soldier who has a bizarre love of peril4 ,many of those who sit at home in apparent calmness of safety seek perils with a maniacal persistence1 perils to the intricate scheme of bodily health1 perils to the mind4 ,more human mules than the men of the banner and the sword delight in journeying at the extreme edge of the precipice4 ,and ,valentine now had to the full this secret hankering after danger4 ,as he knew it1 he despised himself for it1 for this attitude of the schoolboy in which he held himself4 ,until now he had believed that he was free from such a preposterous and morbid bondage1 free on account of his constitutional indifference towards vice1 his innate love of the brooding calms of refinement and of the upper snowfields of the intellect4 ,the discovery of his mistake irritated him1 but the irritation could not conquer its cause1 and each day the longing to sit once more grew upon him until it became almost painful4 ,it was this longing which occasioned ,valentine's avoidance of ,julian4 ,he knew that if they were together he would yield to this foolish1 witless temptation1 and at any rate try to persuade ,julian into an act which might be attended with misfortune1 if not with disaster4 ,and then ,valentine's profound respect for ,doctor ,levillier1 a respect which the doctor inspired without effort in every one who knew him1 was a chain almost of steel to hold the young man back from gratification of his longing4 ,valentine never sought any one's advice except the little doctor's1 and he had a strong feeling of the obligation laid upon him by such sought advice4 ,to ask it and to reject it was a short course to insult4 ,he resolved to avoid ,julian until this gripping desire was shaken from the shoulders of his mind4 ,once or twice he tacitly wondered whether ,julian was also the prey of this desire1 but then he felt certain that his friend could not be so afflicted4 ,had he been1 ,julian would surely have found a swift occasion to call4 ,but he did not call4 ,his feet did not turn their accustomed way to ,victoria ,street4 ,and it did not occur to ,valentine that ,julian might be immersed in the same sort of struggle as himself4 ,he thought he knew ,julian well enough to be sure that he would not have joined issue with such an enemy without instant consultation4 ,a council of war would certainly have been convened4 ,so ,valentine believed himself lonely in his feeling4 ,one night he returned from the theatre and a succeeding supper party at half-past twelve1 let himself into the flat with a latchkey1 threw off his coat and stood before the fire4 ,his usually smooth1 white forehead was puckered in a frown4 ,he contemplated the inevitable hours of bed with dissatisfaction4 ,when a man has allowed a vice to obtain dominion over him there are moments when an enforced abstinence from it1 even of only a few hours1 seems intolerably irksome4 ,so ,valentine felt now4 ,it seemed to him that he must sit again2 that he could not go to bed1 could not rest and sleep1 until he gratified his desire4 ,yet what was he to do8 ,he thought at first of starting out1 late as the hour was1 to ,julian's rooms4 ,but that would be ridiculous1 more especially after their mutual resolution4 ,julian might refuse1 would probably1 in any event1 wish to refuse1 the request which he came to make4 ,valentine strove sincerely to dismiss the desire from his mind1 but his effort was entirely vain4 ,presently he went into his bedroom with the intention of forcing himself to go1 as usual1 to bed4 ,he began to undress slowly1 and had taken off his coat and waistcoat when he felt that he must resume them2 that he must remain1 unnecessarily1 up4 ,he allowed the mental prompting to govern him1 and hardly had he once more fully attired himself when the electric bell in the passage rang twice4 ,valentine went to the door1 opened it1 and descended the flight of stone steps to the main door of the house1 which was locked at night4 ,julian was standing outside on the pavement4 ,you are still up1 then1 he exclaimed4 ,that's good4 ,may ,i come in8 ,yes1 of course4 ,where have you been to-night8 ,they were going up1 their footsteps echoing hoarsely in the dim light4 ,nowhere4 ,then what made you turn out so late8 ,oh1 ,julian said1 with an elaborate carelessness2 ,i don't know4 ,i thought we were becoming strangers1 ,i suppose4 ,and suddenly ,i resolved to look you up4 ,i see1 ,valentine said1 wondering why ,julian was lying4 ,by this time they were in the flat and had shut the door behind them4 ,why haven't you been near me8 ,julian said4 ,why haven't you been near me8 ,oh--well--do you want to know really8 ,yes2 if you have got a definite reason4 ,to tell the truth1 ,i have2 but it is such an absurd one4 ,julian looked at ,valentine and then added1 with a decidedly forced laugh3 ,you'll be awfully surprised when ,i tell you what it is1 ,val4 ,i want to sit again4 ,now ,i know why ,i stopped undressing just now1 said ,valentine4 ,i must have had a sense that you were coming4 ,were you thinking very hard of me to-night and of our sittings8 ,rather6 ,it is the oddest thing1 but even since we had that talk with the doctor and agreed to give the whole thing up1 ,i've been perfectly miserable4 ,i haven't enjoyed a single thing ,i've done since that night4 ,nor ,i1 said ,valentine4 ,what6 you have been as bad8 ,and without having ,marr continually at your elbow6 ,marr again6 ,again6 ,yes1 ,i should think so4 ,that chap has taken a fancy to me1 ,i suppose4 ,anyhow1 directly ,i walk into the club1 morning1 noon1 or night1 up he comes4 ,he must live there4 ,and the first thing he says is1 ',have you gone on with your sittings8 ,you should1 you should4' ,to-day he changed his formula and said1 ',you must1' and when ,i was going away1 he looked at me in a damned odd way and remarked in his low1 toneless voice1 ',you will4' ,i declare ,i almost think he must have a sort of influence over me1 for ,i couldn't go to bed for the life of me1 and here ,i am4 ,by the way1 ,marr seems to have a sort of power of divination4 ,last night1 when ,i happened to see him1 he began talking about doctors1 and1 by ,jove1 didn't he abuse them6 ,he says they stand more in the way of the development of the spiritual forces in man than any other body of people4 ,he denounced them all as low materialists1 immersed in the tinkering of the flesh4 ',what does the flesh matter8' he said4 ',it is nothing4 ,it is only an envelope4 ,and the more tightly it is fastened together1 the more it stifles the spirit4 ,i would like to catch hold of some men's bodies and tear them in pieces to get at their souls4' ,val1 as he made that cheerful remark1 he looked more like a homicidal maniac than anything ,i ever saw4 ,i suppose you didn't stand up for the doctors8 ,but ,i did--for our little man4 ,d'you think ,i wasn't going to say a word for him8 ,what6 you mentioned his name to this chap8 ,certainly4 ,why not8 ,i don't know1 ,valentine said1 hesitatingly4 ,what objection could there possibly be8 ,none1 of course--none4 ,i simply had a quite unreasonable feeling that ,i wished you hadn't4 ,that is all4 ,and then ,valentine relapsed into silence1 the silence some men keep when they are needlessly1 uselessly irritated4 ,the mention of ,marr's name had effected him oddly4 ,he now felt a perverse desire not to sit1 not comply with the rather impertinent prediction of this dark-featured prophet whom he had never seen4 ,to carry out this prediction would seem like an obedience to a stranger1 governing1 unseen1 and at a distance4 ,why did this man concern himself in the affairs of those over whom he had no sovereignty1 with whom he had no friendship8 ,julian1 ,valentine said at last1 abruptly1 ,i wish you would promise me something4 ,what is it8 ,to drop this fellow1 ,marr4 ,he has nothing to do with us1 and it is a decided impertinence1 this curiosity he shows in our doings4 ,don't answer any more of his questions4 ,tell him to keep his advice to himself4 ,and if you really believe he is obtaining an influence over you1 avoid him4 ,you talk as if you disliked him4 ,i feel as if ,i hated him4 ,a man you have never even seen8 ,yes4 ,well1 ,i don't take to him1 and ,i have seen him4 ,i will drop him as much as ,i can4 ,i promise you that4 ,thank you1 old boy4 ,julian fidgetted about rather uneasily1 touching the ornaments on the mantelpiece1 opening and shutting his silver cigarette-case with a click4 ,it was obvious that he felt restless and dissatisfied4 ,then he said3 ,well1 are we going to-- ,surely you don't mean to say that you came here to-night to persuade me into doing again what we both decided not to do any more8 asked ,valentine4 ,i came to try1 ,julian replied with decision4 ,he looked at ,valentine and then added3 ,and do you know ,i have been thinking1 especially to-day1 that you were of the same mind as ,i4 ,how8 ,that you wanted to sit again as much as ,i did4 ,but ,i don't know ,marr1 ,valentine said1 with unusual sarcasm4 ,julian flushed red1 like a man who has been stung4 ,perhaps he influences you through me1 though1 he said with a laugh4 ,what nonsense1 ,julian6 ,if ,i thought he had anything to do with the matter1 ,i would never sit again4 ,but he can have nothing to do with it4 ,of course not4 ,so will you sit8 ,you want to give in4 ,i know that4 ,i do ,i was sure of it4 ,at the same time1 remember the doctor's advice4 ,oh1 doctors are always against that sort of thing4 ,julian1 ,i have a strong feeling that1 should we ever get any manifestation at all1 it will be inimical1 even deadly1 to one or both of us4 ,each time we have sat a sensation of distress has taken hold of me1 and each time with greater force4 ,nerves6 ,well1 then1 the hand which you say you held was nerves8 ,perhaps4 ,but that is just it4 ,i must know1 or at least try to know4 ,it is inevitable4 ,we can't stop now1 ,val1 whether we are standing on the threshold of good1 or evil1 or--nothing at all4 ,we have got to go on4 ,besides1 you and ,i have not effected an exchange4 ,of souls8 ,no4 ,perhaps it is an imbecile proceeding to try4 ,no matter4 ,or a dangerous proceeding4 ,you are temporizing1 and the night is running away as hard as it can4 ,come1 now1 will you do what ,i want--yes or no8 ,after a long hesitation1 ,valentine slowly answered3 ,yes4 ,and absurdly1 as he said it1 he felt like a man who tosses the dice for life or death4 ,,chapter ,,ix ,,the ,,fourth ,,sitting ,they turned the light off and sat down in silence4 ,then ,julian said3 ,keep your hands well away from mine1 ,val4 ,i will4 ,they had not been sitting for five minutes before ,valentine felt that the atmosphere was becoming impregnated with a certain heaviness of mystery1 with a certain steady and unyielding dreariness hanging round them like a cloud4 ,they were once again confronted by a strange reality4 ,surely they were4 ,valentine felt it1 silently knew it4 ,in this blackness he seemed at length to step forward and to stand upon the very threshold of an abyss1 beyond which1 in vague vapours1 lay things unknown1 creatures unsuspected hitherto4 ,from this darkness anything might come to them1 angel or devil1 nymph or satyr4 ,so1 at least1 he dreamed for a while1 giving his imagination the rein4 ,then1 in a revulsion of feeling1 he jeered at his folly1 mutely scolded his nerves for spurring him to such flagrant imbecilities4 ,this is all nonsense1 he told himself1 all fancy1 all a world created1 peopled1 endowed with life by my desirous mind1 which longs for a new sensation4 ,i will not encourage this absurdity4 ,i will be calm1 cold1 observant1 discriminating4 ,this is the same darkness in which every night ,i sleep1 with no sense of being surrounded by forms which ,i cannot see1 pressed upon by the denizens of some other sphere1 not that in which ,i breathe and live4 ,he deliberately detached himself from his mood of keen expectation1 and ardently resolved to anticipate nothing4 ,and at this moment the table began to shift along the carpet1 to twist under their hands1 to rap1 to tremble1 and to pulsate1 as if breath had entered into it4 ,like some live animal it stirred beneath their pressing fingers4 ,it is beginning1 ,julian whispered4 ,animal magnetism1 ,valentine murmured4 ,yes1 of course1 ,julian replied4 ,shall ,i ask-- ,hush6 ,valentine interrupted4 ,julian was silent4 ,for some time the table continued its stereotyped performances4 ,then it tremblingly ceased1 and stood1 mere dead furniture of every day1 wood on which lay the four hands made deliberately limp4 ,a long period of unpopulated silence ensued1 and through that silence1 very gradually1 came again to ,valentine a growing sense of anxiety4 ,at first he fought against it as most men1 perhaps out of self-respect1 fight against the entrance of fear into their souls4 ,then he yielded to it1 and let it crawl over him1 as the sea crawls over flat sands4 ,and the sea left no inch of sand uncovered4 ,every cranny of ,valentine's soul was flooded4 ,there was no part of it which did not shudder with apprehension4 ,and outwards flowed this invisible1 unmurmuring tide1 devouring his body1 till the sweat was upon his face and his strained hands and trembling fingers were cold like ice1 and his knees fluttered as the knees of palsied age1 and his teeth clicked1 row against row1 and his hairs stirred1 and his head1 under its thatch1 tingled and burned and throbbed4 ,every faculty1 too1 seemed to stand straight up like a sentinel at its post1 staring into dust clouds through which rode an approaching enemy4 ,eyes watched1 ears listened1 brain was hideously alert4 ,the whole body kept itself tense1 stiff1 wary4 ,for ,valentine had a secret conviction at this moment that he was about to be attacked4 ,by what8 ,he was hardly master of himself enough to wonder4 ,his thoughts no longer ran free4 ,they crept like paralyzed things about his mind1 and that despite the unnatural vitality of his brain4 ,it was as if he thought intensely1 violently1 and yet could not think at all1 as a man terrified may stare with wide open eyes and yet perceive nothing1 lacking for a moment the faculty of perceiving4 ,so ,valentine waited1 like some blind man with glaring eyeballs4 ,and then1 passing into another stage of sensation1 he found himself vehemently and rapidly discussing possibilities of terror1 forming mental pictures of all the things1 of all the powers1 that we cannot see4 ,he embodied1 materialized1 the wind1 the voice of the sea1 the angry1 hot scent of certain flowers1 of the white lily1 the tuberose1 the hyacinth4 ,he created figures for light1 for darkness1 for a wail1 for a laugh1 and set them in array all around him in the blackness4 ,but none of these imagined figures could cause the horror which he felt4 ,he drove away the whole pack of them with a silent cry1 a motionless dismissing wave of his hands4 ,but there might be other beings round us1 condemned to eternal invisibility lest the sight of them should drive men mad4 ,we cannot see them1 he thought4 ,as a rule1 we have no sensation of these gaunt neighbours1 no suspicion of their approach1 of their companionship4 ,we do not hear their footsteps4 ,we are utterly unconscious of them4 ,yet may there not be physical or mental paroxysms1 during which we become conscious of them1 during which we know1 beyond all power of doubt1 that they are near us1 with us8 ,and1 in such paroxysms1 is it not possible for them to break through the intangible and yet all-powerful barriers that divide them from us1 and to touch us1 caress us1 attack us8 ,valentine believed that he was immersed in such a paroxysm1 and that the barriers were in process of being broken down4 ,he seemed actually to hear the faint cry of an approaching being1 the dim uproar of its violent efforts to obtain its sinister will1 and gain the power to make itself known to him by some ghastly and malignant deed4 ,he was unutterably afraid4 ,the hand again6 ,julian suddenly cried4 ,valentine1 is it yours8 ,why don't you answer8 ,i say1 is it yours8 ,no1 ,valentine forced himself1 with difficulty1 to reply4 ,for ,god's sake then--the light6 ,valentine felt for it1 but his hand shook and did not find the button4 ,make haste1 ,val4 ,what are you doing8 ,ah6 ,the room sprang into view1 and ,julian's eyes1 with a furious1 sick eagerness1 sought his hands4 ,valentine1 he exclaimed hoarsely1 ,i see nothing1 but ,i've got hold of the hand still4 ,i've got it tight4 ,put your hand here--that's it--under mine4 ,now d'you feel the thing8 ,julian's hand1 contracted as if grasping another1 was in the air1 about an inch1 or an inch and a half1 above the surface of the table4 ,valentine obediently thrust his hand beneath it4 ,he now shook his head4 ,i feel nothing1 he said4 ,there is nothing4 ,then am ,i mad8 said ,julian4 ,i'm holding flesh and blood4 ,i'll swear that4 ,yes1 ,i can feel the fingers twitching1 the muscles1 the bones4 ,i can even trace the veins4 ,what does this mean8 ,i can't tell4 ,you look very strange1 ,valentine4 ,you are certain you see and feel nothing8 ,nothing whatever1 ,valentine forced himself to answer calmly4 ,we'll see this through1 said ,julian with a sort of angry determination4 ,i won't be frightened by a hand4 ,we'll see it through4 ,out with the light4 ,valentine turned it off4 ,the action was purely mechanical4 ,he had to perform it1 whether he would or no4 ,don't speak1 he whispered to ,julian in the darkness4 ,don't speak1 whatever happens1 till ,i ask you to speak4 ,why8 ,don't2 don't6 ,all right4 ,they sat still4 ,and now the horror that had possessed ,valentine so utterly began to fade away1 making its exit from his body and soul with infinitesimally small steps4 ,at length it had quite gone1 and its place was taken by a numb calm1 level and still at first1 then curiously definite1 almost too definite to be calm at all4 ,gradually this calm withdrew into exhaustion1 an exhaustion such as dwells incessantly with the anemic1 with those whose hearts beat feebly and whose vitality flickers low to fading4 ,that was like a delicious arrival of death1 of death delicate and serene1 ivory white and pure1 death desirable1 grateful4 ,valentine indeed believed that he was dying1 there in the darkness beside his friend1 and1 impersonally as it seemed1 something of him1 his brain perhaps1 seemed to be floating high up1 as a bird floats over the sea1 and listening1 and noting all that he did in this crisis4 ,this attentive spirit heard a strange movement of his soul in its bodily prison1 heard his soul stir1 as if waking out of sleep1 heard it shift1 and rise up slowly1 noted its pause of hesitation4 ,then1 as the vitality of the body ebbed lower1 there grew in the soul an excitement that aspired like a leaping flame4 ,it was as if a madman1 prisoned in his narrow cell in a vast asylum1 secluded with his company of phantoms1 heard the crackling of the fire that devoured his habitation1 and was stirred into an ignorant and yet tumultuous passion4 ,as the madman1 with a childish1 increasing uneasiness1 awed by the sinuous approach of the unseen fire1 might pace to and fro1 round and round about his cell1 so it seemed to this poised1 watching faculty of ,valentine that his soul wandered in its confined cell of the body1 at first with the cushioned softness of an animal1 moving mechanically1 driven by an endless and unmeaning restlessness1 then with an increasing energy1 a fervour1 a crescendo of endeavour4 ,what drove his soul8 ,surely it was struggling with an unseen power4 ,and the steady diminuendo of his bodily forces continued1 until he was a corpse in which a fury dwelt4 ,that fury was the soul4 ,he had a strange fancy that he1 unlike all the rest of humanity1 would die1 yet still retain his spirit in its fleshy prison1 and that the spirit screamed and fought to be free on its wayward pilgrimage to heaven or hell4 ,all its brother and sister spirits had fled1 since the beginnings of time1 from their bodies at the crisis of dissolution1 had gone to punishment or to reward4 ,his soul alone was to meet a different fate1 was to be confined in a decaying body1 to breathe physical corruption1 and to be at home in a crumbling dwelling to which no light1 no air1 could ever penetrate4 ,and the soul1 which knows instinctively its eternal mtier1 rebelled with a fantastic violence4 ,and still1 ever1 the body died4 ,the pulses ceased from beating4 ,the warm blood was mixed with snow until it grew cold and gradually congealed in the veins4 ,the little door of the heart swung slower and slower upon its hinges1 more feebly--more feebly4 ,and then there came a supreme moment4 ,the soul of ,valentine1 with a frantic vehemence1 beat down at last its prison door1 and1 even as his body died1 escaped with a cry through the air4 99 99 99 99 99 ,valentine1 did you hear that strange cry8 99 99 99 99 99 ,valentine1 what was it8 ,i never heard any sound like that before1 so thin and small1 and yet so horribly clear and piercing2 neither like the cry of a child nor of an animal1 nor like the wail that could come from any instrument4 ,valentine1 now ,i see a little flame come from where you are sitting4 ,it's so tiny and faint4 ,don't you see it8 ,it is floating toward me4 ,now it is passing me4 ,it's beyond4 ,it's going4 ,there1 it has vanished4 ,valentine6 ,valentine6 ,,book ,,ii--,,julian ,,chapter ,i ,,the ,,trance ,gaining no reply to his call1 ,julian grew alarmed4 ,he sprang up from the table and turned on the electric light4 ,valentine was leaning back nervelessly in his chair4 ,his face was quite pale and cold4 ,his lips were slightly parted4 ,his eyes were wide open and stared before him without expression4 ,his head hung far back over the edge of his chair4 ,he looked exactly like a man who had just died1 and died in a convulsion4 ,for though the lips were parted1 the teeth set tightly together grinned through them1 and the hands were intensely contracted into fists4 ,julian seized ,valentine in his arms1 lifted the drooping body from the chair and laid it out at length on the divan4 ,he put a pillow under the head1 which fell on it grotesquely and lay sideways1 still smiling horribly at nothing4 ,then he poured out a glass of brandy and strove to force some of it between ,valentine's teeth1 dashed water in the glaring eyes1 beat the air with a fan which he tore from the mantelpiece4 ,all was in vain4 ,there came no sign of returning life4 ,then ,julian caught ,valentine's hands in his and sought to unclench the rigid1 cold fingers4 ,he laid his hand on the heart of his friend4 ,no pulsation beat beneath his anxious touch4 ,then a great horror overtook him4 ,suddenly he felt a conviction that ,valentine had died beside him in the dark1 had died sitting up in his chair by the table4 ,the cry he had heard1 so thin1 so strange and piercing1 the attenuated flame that he had seen1 were the voice and the vision of the flying soul which he had loved1 seeking its final freedom1 en route to the distant spheres believers dream of and sceptics deny4 ,valentine6 ,valentine6 he cried again1 with the desperate insistence of the hopeless4 ,but the cold1 staring creature upon the green divan did not reply4 ,with a brusque and fearful movement ,julian shut the eyelids4 ,would they ever open again8 ,he knelt upon the floor1 leaning passionately over his friend1 or that which had been his friend4 ,he bent his head down on the silent breast1 listening4 ,surely if ,valentine were alive he would show it by some sign1 the least stir1 breath1 shiver1 pulse4 ,there was none4 ,julian might have been clasping stone or iron4 ,if he could only know for certain whether ,valentine were really dead4 ,yet he dared not leave him alone and go to seek aid4 ,suddenly a thought struck him4 ,in the hall of the flat was a handle which1 when turned in a certain direction1 communicated with one of those wooden and glass hutches in which sleepy boy-messengers harbour at night4 ,julian sprang to this handle1 set the communicator in motion1 then ran back into the tentroom4 ,his intention was to write a note to ,dr4 ,levillier4 ,the writing-table was so placed that1 sitting at it1 his back would be turned to that silent figure on the divan4 ,a shiver ran over him at the bare thought of such a blind posture4 ,no1 he must face that terror1 once so dear4 ,he caught up a pen and a sheet of note paper1 and1 swerving round1 was about to write1 holding the paper on his knee1 when the electric bell rang4 ,the boy had been very quick in his run from the hutch4 ,julian laid down the paper and went to let the boy in4 ,his knees shook as he descended the dark1 echoing stairs and opened the door4 ,there stood the messenger1 a rosy-faced urchin of about twelve1 with rather sleepy brown eyes4 ,come up1 ,julian said1 and he hurried back to the flat1 the little boy violently emulating his giant stride up the stairs and arriving flushed and panting at the door4 ,julian1 who was entirely abstracted in his agitation1 made for the tentroom without another word to the boy1 seized pen and paper and began to write1 urgently requesting ,dr4 ,levillier to come at once to see ,valentine4 ,abruptly a childish voice intruded itself upon him4 ,lor'1 sir1 it said4 ,is the gentleman ill8 ,julian glanced up and found that the little boy had innocently followed him into the tentroom1 and was now standing near him1 gazing with a round-eyed concern upon the stretched figure on the divan4 ,yes1 ,julian replied2 ill1 very ill4 ,i want you to go for a doctor4 ,the boy approached the divan1 moved apparently by the impelling curiosity of tender years4 ,julian stopped writing and watched him4 ,he leaned down and looked at the face1 at the inertia of hands and limbs4 ,as he raised himself up from a calm and close inspection he saw ,julian staring at him4 ,he shook his round bullet head1 on which the thick hair grew in an unparted stubble4 ,no1 ,i don't think he's ill1 sir1 he remarked1 with treble conviction4 ,then why does he lie like that8 ,i expect it's because he's dead1 sir1 the child replied1 with grave serenity4 ,this unbiased testimony in favour of his fears came to ,julian's mind like a storm4 ,how do you know8 he exclaimed1 with a harsh voice4 ,lor'1 sir1 the boy said1 not without a certain pride1 ,i knows a corpse when ,i sees it4 ,my father died come a fortnight ago4 ,see that8 ,and he indicated1 with stumpy finger1 the black band upon his left arm4 ,well1 father looked just like the gentleman4 ,julian was petrified by this urchin's intimacy with death4 ,it struck him as utterly vicious and terrible4 ,a horror of the rosy-faced little creature1 with good-conduct medals gleaming on its breast1 came over him4 ,hush6 he said4 ,all right1 sir2 but you take my word for it1 the gentleman's dead4 ,julian finished the note1 thrust it into an envelope1 and addressed it to the doctor4 ,run and get a cab and take that at once to ,harley ,street1 he said4 ,the boy smiled4 ,i like cab-riding1 he said4 ,and1 ,julian caught his arm1 that gentleman is not dead4 ,he's alive1 ,i tell you2 only in a faint1 and alive4 ,the boy looked into ,julian's face with the pitying grin of superior knowledge of the world4 ,ah1 sir1 you didn't see father1 he said4 ,then he turned and bounded eagerly down the stairs1 in a hurry for the cab-ride4 ,loneliness and desolation descended like a cloud over ,julian when he had gone1 for the frank belief of the boy1 who cared nothing1 struck like an arrow of truth to his heart1 who cared everything4 ,was ,valentine indeed dead8 ,he would not believe it1 for such a belief would bring the world in ruins about his feet4 ,such a belief would people his soul with phantoms of despair and of wickedness4 ,could he not cry out against ,god in blasphemy1 if ,god took his friend from him8 ,the tears rushed into his eyes1 as he sat waiting there in the night4 ,as before a drowning man1 scenes of the last five years flashed before him1 painted in vital colours1--scenes of his life with ,valentine1--then scenes of all that might have been had he never met ,valentine1 never known his strange mastering influence4 ,could that influence have been given only to be withdrawn8 ,of all the inexplicable things of life the most inexplicable are the abrupt intrusions and disappearances of those lovely manifestations which give healing to tired hearts1 to the wounded soldiers of the campaign of the world4 ,why are they not permitted to stay8 ,bitterly ,julian asked that question4 ,of all the men whom he knew1 only ,valentine did anything for him4 ,must ,valentine1 of all men1 be the one who might not stay with him8 ,the rest he could spare4 ,he could not spare ,valentine4 ,he could not4 ,the impotence of his patience tortured him physically1 like a disease4 ,he sprang up from his chair4 ,he must do something at once to know the truth4 ,what could he do8 ,he had no knowledge of medicine4 ,he could not tabulate physical indications1 and he would not trust to his infernal instinct4 ,for it was that which cried to him again and again1 ,valentine is dead4 ,what--what could he do8 ,a thought darted into his mind4 ,dogs are miraculously instinctive4 ,rip might know what he did not certainly know1 might divine the truth4 ,he ran into ,valentine's bedroom4 ,rip1 he cried2 ,rip6 ,the little dog sprang from its lonely sleep and accompanied ,julian energetically to the tentroom4 ,observing ,valentine's attitude1 it sprang upon the couch beside him1 licked his white face eagerly1 then1 gaining no response1 showed hesitation1 alarm4 ,it began to investigate the body eagerly with its sharp nose1 snuffing at head1 shoulders1 legs1 feet4 ,still it seemed in doubt1 and paused at length with one fore foot planted on ,valentine's breast1 the other raised in air4 ,even ,rip is at fault1 ,julian said to himself4 ,but as the words ran through his mind1 the little dog grew suddenly calmer4 ,it dropped the hesitating paw1 again licked the face1 then nestled quietly into the space between ,valentine's left breast and arm1 rested its chin on the latter1 and with blinking eyes prepared evidently for repose4 ,a wild hope came again to ,julian4 ,valentine is not dead1 he said to himself4 ,he is in some strange hypnotic trance4 ,presently he will recover from it4 ,he will be well4 ,thank ,god6 ,thank ,god6 ,i will watch6 ,and so he kept an attentive and hopeful vigil1 his eyes always upon ,valentine's face1 his hand always touching ,valentine's4 ,already life seemed blossoming anew with an inexplicable radiance4 ,valentine would speak once more1 would come back from this underworld of the senses4 ,and ,julian's hand closed on his cold hand with a warm1 impulsive strength1 as if it might be possible to draw him back physically to consciousness and to speech4 ,but there was no answer4 ,and again ,julian was assailed with doubts4 ,yet the dog slept on happily1 a hostage to peace4 ,julian never knew how long that vigil lasted4 ,it might have been five minutes1 or a lifetime4 ,the vehemence of his mental debate slew his power of observation of normal things4 ,he forgot what he was waiting for4 ,he forgot to expect ,dr4 ,levillier4 ,two visions alternated in glaring contrast before the eyes of his brain--life with ,valentine1 and life without him4 ,it is so we watch the trance1 or death1--we know not which1--of those whom we love1 with a greedy1 beautiful selfishness4 ,they are themselves only in relation to us4 ,they live1 they die1 in that wonderful relation4 ,to live is to be with us2 to die1 to go away from us4 ,there are women who love so much that they angrily expostulate with the dying1 as if indeed the dying deliberately elected to depart out of their arms4 ,do we not all feel at moments the ,you could stay with me1 if only you had the will6 that is the last bitter cry of despairing affection8 ,julian1 sitting there1 while ,valentine lay silent and the dog slept by his breast1 saw ever and ever those two lives1 flashing and fading like lamps across a dark sea1 life with1 life without1 him4 ,the immensity of the contrast1 the millions of airy miles between those two life-worlds1 appalled him1 for it revealed to him what mighty issues of joy and grief hung upon the almost visionary thin thread of one little life4 ,it is ghastly to be so idiotically dependent4 ,yet who1 at some time1 is not8 ,and those who are independent lose1 by their power1 their possible ,paradise4 ,but such a time of uncertainty as that which ,julian must now endure is a great penalty to pay for even the greatest joy1 when the joy is past4 ,he had his trance of the mind4 ,he was hypnotized by his ignorance whether ,valentine were alive or dead4 ,and so he sat motionless1 making the tour of an eternity of suffering1 of wonder1 of doubt1 and hope1 and yet1 through it all1 in some strange1 indefinite way1 numb1 phlegmatic1 and actually stupid4 ,at last the bell rang4 ,dr4 ,levillier had arrived4 ,he was struck at once by ,julian's heaviness of manner4 ,what is it8 ,what is the matter8 he asked4 ,i don't know4 ,you tell me4 ,he is fainting--unconscious8 ,unconscious1 yes4 ,they were in the little hall now4 ,doctor ,levillier narrowly scrutinized ,julian4 ,for a moment he thought ,julian had been drinking1 and he took him by the arm4 ,no2 it is fear1 he murmured1 releasing him1 and walking into the tentroom4 ,julian followed with a loud footstep1 treading firmly4 ,each step said to ,death1 ,you are not here4 ,you are not here4 ,he stood at a little distance near the door1 while ,levillier approached ,valentine and bent over him4 ,rip woke up and curled his top lip in a terrier smile of welcome4 ,the doctor stroked his head1 then lifted ,valentine's hand and held the wrist4 ,he dropped it1 and threw a glance on ,julian4 ,there was a scream of interrogation in ,julian's fixed eyes4 ,doctor ,levillier avoided it by dropping his own1 and again turning his attention to the figure on the divan4 ,he undid ,valentine's shirt1 bared the breast1 and laid his hand on the heart1 keeping it there for a long time4 ,fetch me a hand-glass1 he said to ,julian4 ,mechanically1 ,julian went into the bedroom1 and groped in the dark upon the dressing-table4 ,well1 have you got it8 ,why don't you turn up the light8 ,i don't know1 ,julian answered1 drily4 ,doctor ,levillier saw that anxiety was beginning to unnerve him4 ,when the glass was found the doctor led ,julian back to the tentroom and pushed him gently down in a chair4 ,keep quiet1 he said4 ,and--keep hoping4 ,there is--there is--hope8 ,why not8 ,then the doctor held the little glass to ,valentine's lips4 ,the bright surface was not dimmed4 ,no breath of life tarnished it to dulness4 ,again the doctor felt his heart1 drew his eyelids apart1 and carefully examined the eyes1 then turned slowly round4 ,doctor--doctor6 ,julian whispered4 ,why do you turn away8 ,what are you going to do8 ,doctor ,levillier made a gesture of finale1 and knelt on the floor by ,valentine4 ,his head was bowed4 ,his lips moved silently4 ,julian saw that he was praying1 and sprang up fiercely4 ,all the frost of his senses thawed in a moment4 ,he seized ,levillier by the shoulders4 ,don't pray6 he cried out2 don't pray4 ,curse6 ,curse as ,i do6 ,if he's dead you shall not pray4 ,you shall not6 ,you shall not6 ,the little doctor drew him down to his knees4 ,julian1 hush6 ,my science tells me ,valentine is dead4 ,julian opened his white lips1 but the doctor1 with a motion1 silenced him1 and added1 pointing to ,rip1 who still lay happily by his master's side3 ,but that dog seems to tell me he is alive2 that this is some strangely complete and perfect simulation of death1 some unnatural sleep of the senses4 ,pray1 pray with me that ,valentine may wake4 ,and1 kneeling by his friend1 with bent head1 ,julian strove to pray4 ,the answer to that double prayer pierced the two men4 ,it was so instant1 and so bizarre1 fighting against probability1 yet heralding light1 and the end of that night's pale circumstances4 ,rip1 relapsing quickly from his perfunctory smile on the doctor1 had again fallen asleep with an evident exceeding confidence and comfort1 snoring his way into an apparent peace that passed all understanding4 ,but scarcely had the doctor spoken1 giving ,julian hope1 than the little dog suddenly opened its eyes1 shifted round in its nest of arm and bosom1 smelt furtively at ,valentine's hand4 ,then it turned from the hand to the side of its master1 investigated it with a supreme anxiety1 pursued its search as far as the white1 strict face and bared bosom4 ,from the face it recoiled1 and with a piercing howl like the scream of a dog run over by a cart1 it sprang away1 darted to the farthest corner of the room1 and huddled close against the wall in an agony of terror4 ,julian turned cold4 ,he believed implicitly that the trance at that very moment had deepened into death1 and that the sleepless instinct of the dog had divined it partially while he slept1 and now knew it and was afraid4 ,and the same error of belief shook ,dr4 ,levillier4 ,a spasm crossed his thin1 earnest face4 ,no death had ever hurt him so sharply as this death hurt him4 ,he saw ,julian recoil in horror from the divan1 and he could say nothing4 ,for he1 too1 felt horror4 ,but in this moment of despair ,valentine's hands slowly unclenched themselves1 and the fingers were gradually extended as by a man stretching himself after a long sleep4 ,the doctor saw this1 but believed himself a victim of a delusion1 tricked by the excitement of his mind into foolish visions4 ,and ,julian had turned quite away1 trembling4 ,but now ,valentine moved slightly1 pressed his elbows on the cushions that supported him1 and half sat up1 still with closed eyes4 ,julian1 ,dr4 ,levillier said in a low1 summoning voice1--,julian1 do you see what ,i see8 ,is he indeed alive8 ,julian4 ,then ,julian1 turning1 saw1 with the doctor1 ,valentine sit up erect1 open his eyes and gaze upon his two friends with a grave1 staring scrutiny4 ,valentine1 ,valentine1 how you frightened me6 ,how you terrified me6 ,julian at last found a voice to exclaim4 ,thank ,god1 thank ,god6 you are alive4 ,oh1 ,valentine1 you are alive2 you are not dead4 ,valentine's lips smiled slowly4 ,dead1 he answered4 ,no2 ,i am not dead4 ,and again he smiled quietly1 as a man smiles at some secret thought which tickles him or whips the sense of humour in him till1 like an obeying dog1 it dances4 ,dr4 ,levillier1 having regained his feet1 stood silently looking at ,valentine1 all his professional instinct wide awake to note this apparent resurrection from the dead4 ,you here1 doctor6 said ,valentine4 ,why1 what does this all mean8 ,i want you to tell me that1 ,levillier said4 ,and you1 he added1 now turning towards ,julian4 ,but ,julian was too much excited to answer4 ,his eyes were blazing with joy and with emotion4 ,and ,valentine seemed still to be informed with a curious1 serpentine lassitude4 ,the life seemed to be only very gently running again over his body1 creeping from the centre1 from the heart1 to the extremities1 gradually growing in the eyes1 stronger and stronger1 a dawn of life in a full-grown man4 ,dr4 ,levillier had never seen anything quite like it before4 ,there was something violently unnatural about it1 he thought1 yet he could not say what4 ,he could only stand by the broad couch1 fascinated by the spectacle under his gaze4 ,once he had read a tale of the revivifying of a mummy in a museum4 ,that might have been like this2 or the raising of ,lazarus4 ,the streams of strength almost visibly trickled through ,valentine's veins4 ,and this new life was so vigorous1 so alert4 ,it was as if during his strange sleep ,valentine had been carpentering his energies1 polishing his powers1 setting the temple of his soul in order1 gaining almost a ruthlessness from rest4 ,he stretched his limbs now as an athlete might stretch them to win the full consciousness of their muscular force4 ,when the doctor took hold of his hand to feel his pulse the hand was hard and tense like iron1 the fingers gripped for a moment like thin bands of steel1 and the life in the blue eyes bounded1 raced1 swirled as water swirls in a mill-stream4 ,indeed1 ,dr4 ,levillier felt as if there was too much life in them1 as if the cup had been filled with wine until the wine ran over4 ,he put his fingers on the pulse4 ,it was strong and rapid and did not fluctuate1 but beat steadily4 ,he felt the heart4 ,that1 too1 throbbed strongly4 ,and while he made his examination ,valentine smiled at him4 ,i'm all right1 you see1 ,valentine said4 ,all right1 the doctor echoed1 still possessed by the feeling that there lurked almost a danger in this apparently abounding health4 ,what was it all8 ,julian asked eagerly4 ,was it a trance8 ,a trance8 ,valentine said4 ,yes1 ,i suppose so4 ,he put his feet to the floor1 stood up1 and again stretched all his limbs4 ,his eyes fell upon ,rip1 who was still in the corner1 huddled up1 his teeth showing1 his eyes almost starting out of his head4 ,rip1 he said1 holding out his hand and slapping his knee1 come here6 ,come along6 ,rip6 ,rip6 ,what's the matter with him8 ,he thought you were dead1 said ,julian4 ,poor little chap4 ,rip1 it's all right4 ,come6 ,but the dog refused to be pacified1 and still displayed every symptom of angry fear4 ,at last ,valentine1 weary of calling the dog1 went towards it and stooped to pick it up4 ,at the downward movement of its master the dog shrank back1 gathered itself together1 then suddenly sprang forward with a harsh snarl and tried to fasten its teeth in his face4 ,valentine jumped back just in time4 ,he must have gone mad1 he exclaimed4 ,julian1 see what you can do with him4 ,curiously enough1 ,rip welcomed ,julian's advances with avidity1 nestled into his arms1 but when he walked toward ,valentine1 struggled to escape and trembled in every limb4 ,how extraordinary6 ,julian said4 ,since your trance he seems to have taken a violent dislike to you4 ,what can it mean8 ,oh1 nothing probably4 ,he will get over it4 ,put him into the other room4 ,julian did so and returned4 ,doctor ,levillier was now sitting in an arm-chair4 ,his light1 kind eyes were fixed on ,valentine with a scrutiny so intense as to render the expression of his usually gentle face almost stern4 ,but ,valentine appeared quite unconscious of his gaze and mainly attentive to all that ,julian said and did4 ,all this time the doctor had not said a word4 ,now he spoke4 ,you spoke of a trance8 he said1 interrogatively4 ,julian looked as guilty as a cribbing schoolboy discovered in his dingy act4 ,doctor1 ,val and ,i have to crawl to you for forgiveness1 he said4 ,to me--why8 ,we have disobeyed you4 ,but ,i should never give you an order4 ,your advice is a command to those who know you1 doctor1 said ,valentine1 with a sudden laugh4 ,and what advice of mine have you put in the corner with its face to the wall8 ,we have been table-turning again4 ,ah6 ,doctor ,levillier formed his lips into the shape assumed by one whistling4 ,and this has been the result8 ,yes1 ,julian cried4 ,never1 as long as ,i live1 will ,i sit again4 ,val1 if you go down on your knees to me-- ,i shall not do that1 ,valentine quietly interposed4 ,i have no desire to sit again now4 ,you both seem set against such dangerous folly at last1 said the doctor4 ,give me your solemn promise to stick to what you have said4 ,and the two young men gave it1 ,julian with a strong gravity1 ,valentine with a light smile4 ,julian had by no means recovered his usual gaiety4 ,the events of the night had seriously affected him4 ,he was excited and emotional1 and now he grasped ,valentine by the arm as he exclaimed3 ,valentine1 tell me1 what made you give that strange cry just before you went into your trance8 ,were you frightened8 or did something--that hand--touch you8 ,or what was it8 ,a cry8 ,yes4 ,it was not ,i4 ,didn't you hear it8 ,no4 ,julian turned to the doctor4 ,it was an unearthly sound1 he said4 ,like nothing ,i have ever heard or imagined4 ,and1 doctor1 just afterward ,i saw something1 something that made me believe ,valentine was really dead4 ,what was it8 ,julian hesitated4 ,then he avoided directly replying to the question4 ,doctor1 he said1 of course ,i needn't ask you if you have often been at deathbeds8 ,i have4 ,very often1 ,levillier replied4 ,i have never seen any one die1 ,julian continued1 still with excitement4 ,but people have told me1 people who have watched by the dying1 that at the moment of death sometimes a tiny flame1 a sort of shadow almost1 comes from the lips of the corpse and evaporates into the air4 ,and they say that flame is the soul going out of the body4 ,i have never seen that1 ,levillier said4 ,and ,i have watched many deaths4 ,i saw such a flame to-night1 ,julian said4 ,after ,i heard the cry1 ,i distinctly saw a flame come from where ,valentine was sitting and float up and disappear in the darkness4 ,and--and afterwards1 when ,valentine lay so still and cold1 ,i grew to believe that flame was his soul and that ,i had actually seen him die in the dark4 ,imagination1 ,valentine said1 rather abruptly4 ,all imagination4 ,wasn't it1 doctor8 ,probably1 ,levillier said4 ,darkness certainly makes things visible that do not exist4 ,i have patients who are perfectly sane1 yet whom ,i forbid ever to be entirely in the dark4 ,remove all objects from their sight1 and they immediately see non-existent things4 ,you think that flame came only from my inner consciousness8 ,julian asked4 ,i suspect so4 ,shut your eyes now4 ,julian did so4 ,doctor ,levillier bent over and pressed his two forefingers hard on ,julian's eyes4 ,after a moment1 ,what do you see8 he asked4 ,nothing1 ,julian replied4 ,wait a little longer4 ,now what do you see8 ,now ,i see a broad ring of yellow light edged with ragged purple4 ,exactly4 ,you see flame-colour4 ,he removed his fingers and ,julian opened his eyes4 ,yes1 he said4 ,but that cry4 ,i most distinctly heard it4 ,imitate it4 ,that would be impossible4 ,it was too strange4 ,are the ears affected by darkness8 ,the sense of hearing is intimately affected by suspense4 ,if you do not listen attentively you may fail to hear a sound that is4 ,if you listen too attentively you may succeed in hearing a sound that is not4 ,now1 shut your eyes again4 ,julian obeyed4 ,i am going to clap my hands presently1 said the doctor4 ,tell me as soon as you have heard me do so4 ,yes4 ,doctor ,levillier made no movement for some time4 ,then he softly leant forward1 extended his arms in the air1 and made the motion of clapping his hands close to ,julian's face4 ,in reality he did not touch one hand with the other1 yet ,julian cried out3 ,i heard you clap them then4 ,i have not clapped them at all1 ,levillier said4 ,julian expressed extreme surprise4 ,you see how very easy it is for the senses to be deceived1 the doctor added4 ,once stir the nervous system into an acute state of anticipation1 and it will conjure up for you a veritable panorama of sights1 sounds1 bodily sensations4 ,but throw it into that state once too often1 and the panorama1 instead of passing and disappearing1 may remain fixed for a time1 even forever1 before your eyes1 your ears1 your touch4 ,and that means recurrent or permanent madness4 ,valentine1 ,i desire you most especially to remember that4 ,he uttered the words weightily1 with very definite intention4 ,valentine1 who still seemed to be in an unusually lazy or careless mood1 laughed easily4 ,i will remember1 he said4 ,he yawned4 ,my trance has made me sleepy1 he added4 ,the doctor got up4 ,yes2 bed is the best place for you1 he said4 ,and for us all1 ,i suppose1 added ,julian4 ,though ,i feel as if ,i could never sleep again4 ,the doctor went out into the hall to get his coat1 leaving the friends alone for a moment4 ,i am still so excited1 ,julian went on4 ,dear old fellow6 ,how good it is to see you yourself again4 ,i made up my mind that you were dead4 ,this is like a resurrection4 ,oh1 ,val1 if you had been dead1 really6 ,what would you have done8 ,done6 ,i don't know4 ,gone to the devil1 probably4 ,do you know where to find him8 ,my dear boy1 he is in every ,london street1 to begin with4 ,in ,victoria ,street1 even4 ,i was only laughing4 ,but tell me1 what did you feel8 ,nothing4 ,as if ,i slept4 ,and you really heard1 saw1 nothing8 ,nothing4 ,and that hand8 ,valentine smiled again1 and seemed to hesitate4 ,but then he replied1 quietly3 ,i told you ,i could not feel it4 ,i did1 until ,i heard that dreadful cry1 and then it was suddenly drawn away from me4 ,doctor ,levillier appeared in the doorway with his overcoat on1 but ,julian did not notice him4 ,again his excitement was rising4 ,he began to pace up and down the room4 ,my ,god6 he said1 vehemently1 what would ,marr say to all this8 ,what does it mean8 ,what can it mean8 ,don't let us bother too much about it4 ,excellent advice1 said ,levillier1 from the doorway4 ,julian stood still4 ,doctor1 ,i can understand your attitude1 he said4 ,but what an amazing being you are1 ,val4 ,you are as calm and collected as if you had sat and held converse with spirits all through your life4 ,and yet something has governed you1 has temporarily deprived you of life4 ,for you were to all intents and purposes dead while you were in that trance4 ,death is simply nothing1 and nothingness does not excite or terrify one4 ,i never felt better than ,i do at this moment4 ,that's well1 said ,levillier1 cheerfully4 ,julian regarded ,valentine's pure1 beautiful face with astonishment4 ,and you never looked better4 ,i shall sleep exquisitely to-night1 or rather this morning1 ,valentine said4 ,as he spoke he drew away the heavy green curtain that hung across the window4 ,a very pale shaft of light stole in and lit up his white face4 ,it was the dawn1 and1 standing there1 he looked like the spirit of the dawn1 painted against the dying night in such pale colours1 white1 blue1 and shadowy gold1 a wonder of death and of life4 ,in the silence ,dr4 ,levillier and ,julian gazed at him1 and he seemed a mystery to them both1 a strange enigma of purity and of unearthliness4 ,good-bye1 ,cresswell1 ,levillier said at last4 ,good-bye1 doctor4 ,good-bye1 ,valentine4 ,julian held out his hand to grasp his friend's1 but ,valentine began looping up the curtain and did not take it4 ,in his gentlest voice he said to ,julian3 ,good-bye1 dear ,julian1 good-bye4 ,the dawn is on our friendship1 ,julian4 ,yes1 ,valentine4 ,valentine added1 after a moment of apparent reflection3 ,take ,rip away with you just for to-night4 ,i don't want to be bitten in my sleep4 ,and when ,julian went away1 the little dog eagerly followed him1 pressing close to his heels1 so close that several times ,julian could not avoid kicking him4 ,as soon as the flat door had closed on his two friends1 ,valentine walked down the passage to the drawing-room1 which was shrouded in darkness4 ,he entered it without turning on the light1 and closed the door behind him4 ,he remained in the room for perhaps a quarter of an hour4 ,at length the door opened again4 ,he emerged out of the blackness4 ,there was a calm smile on his face4 ,two of his fingers were stained with blood1 and to one a fragment of painted canvas adhered4 ,when ,valentine's man-servant went into the room in the morning and drew up the blinds1 he found1 to his horror1 the picture of ,the ,merciful ,knight lying upon the floor4 ,the canvas hung from the gold frame in shreds1 as if rats had been gnawing it4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,,the ,,piccadilly ,,episode ,doctor ,levillier and ,julian bade each other good-bye on the doorstep4 ,the doctor hailed a hansom1 but ,julian preferred to walk4 ,he wished to be alone1 to feel the cold touch of the air on his face4 ,the dawn was indeed just breaking1 ever so wearily4 ,a strong wind came up with it over the housetops1 and ,victoria ,street looked dreary in the faint1 dusky1 grey light1 which grew as slowly in the cloudy sky as hope in a long-starved heart4 ,julian lived in ,mayfair1 and he now walked forward slowly towards ,grosvenor ,place1 making a deliberate detour for the sake of exercising his limbs4 ,he was glad to be out under the sky1 glad to feel the breeze on his face1 and to be free from the horror of that little room in which he had kept so appalling a vigil4 ,the dull lines of the houses stretching away through the foggy perspective were gracious to his eyes4 ,his feet welcomed the hard fibre of the pavement4 ,they had learned in that night almost to shudder at the softness of a thick carpet4 ,and all his senses began to come out of their bondage and to renew their normal sanity4 ,only now did ,julian realize how strenuous that bondage had been1 a veritable slavery of the soul4 ,such a slavery could surely only have been possible within the four walls of a building4 ,an artificial environment must be necessary to such an artificial condition of feeling4 ,for ,julian now gradually began to believe that ,dr4 ,levillier was right1 and that he had somehow allowed himself to become unnaturally affected and strung up4 ,he could believe this in the air and in the dawn4 ,for he escaped out of prison as he walked1 and heard the dirty sparrows begin to twitter as they sank to the brown puddles in the roadway1 or soared to the soot that clung round the chimneys which they loved4 ,and yet he had been communing with death1 had for the first time completely realized the fact and the meaning of death4 ,what a demon of the world it was1 sly1 bitter1 chuckling at its power1 the one thing1 surely1 that has perfect enjoyment of all the things in the scheme of the earth4 ,what a trick it had played on ,julian and on ,valentine4 ,what a trick6 ,and as this idea struck into ,julian's mind he found himself on the pavement by the chemist's shop that is opposite to the underground railway station of ,victoria4 ,his eyes fell on the hutch of the boy-messengers1 and he beheld through the glass shutter three heads4 ,he crossed the road and tapped on the glass4 ,a young man pulled it up4 ,want to send a message1 sir8 ,no4 ,i wish to speak to one of your boys1 if the one ,i mean is here4 ,ah1 there he is4 ,julian pointed to his little ,hermes of the midnight1 who was crouched within1 uneasily sleeping1 his chin nestling wearily among the medals which his exemplary conduct had won for him4 ,the young man shook the child by the shoulder4 ,hulloh1 ,bob6 he yelled4 ,here's a gentleman wants to speak to yer4 ,bob came from his dreams with a jerk1 and stared upon ,julian with his big brown eyes4 ,presently he began to realize matters4 ,want another doctor1 sir8 ,it ain't no manner of good1 he remarked airily1 beginning to search for his cap1 and to glow in the prospect of another cab-ride4 ,no1 said ,julian4 ,i stopped to tell you that you were wrong4 ,the gentleman is quite well again4 ,he put his hand into his pocket and produced half a crown4 ,there's something for your mistake1 he said4 ,bob took it solemnly1 and1 as ,julian walked on1 called after him3 ,it wasn't my fault1 sir2 it was father's4 ,he had more desire to shine as an intellectual authority on great matters of dissolution than to respect the departed4 ,julian could not help smiling at the child's evident discomfiture as he pursued his way towards ,grosvenor ,place4 ,on one of the doorsteps of the big houses that drive respect like a sharp nail into the hearts of the poor passers-by1 a ragged old woman was tumultuously squatting4 ,her gin-soddened face came1 like a scarlet cloud1 to the view from the embrace of a vagabond black bonnet1 braided with rags1 viciously glittering here and there with the stray bugles which survived from some bygone era of comparative respectability4 ,her penetrating snores denoted that she was oblivious of the lounging approach of the policeman1 whose blue and burly form was visible in the extreme distance4 ,julian stopped to observe her reflectively4 ,his eye1 which loved the grotesque1 was pleased by the bedragglement of her attitude1 by the flat foot1 in its bursting boot1 which protruded from the ocean of her mud-stained petticoats1 by the wisps of coarse hair wandering in the breeze above her brazen wrinkles4 ,poor soul6 she kept a diary of her deeds1 even though she could perhaps only make a mark where her signature should have been4 ,julian stared at her very intently1 and as he did so he started violently1 for across the human background which her sleeping dissipation supplied there seemed to float the vague shadow1 suggestion1 call it what you will1 of a tongue of flame4 ,he walked hastily on1 angrily blaming his nerves4 ,as he passed the policeman he fancied he noticed that the man glanced at him with a certain flickering suspicion4 ,was horror legibly written in his face8 he wondered uneasily1 confessing to himself that even in the dawn and the lap of ,grosvenor ,place a horror had again seized him4 ,what did this shadow which he had now twice seen portend8 ,surely his nerves were not permanently upset4 ,he was at first heartily ashamed of himself4 ,near ,st4 ,george's ,hospital1 gaunt and grey in the morning1 he stopped again1 bent his left arm forcibly1 and with his right hand felt the hard lump of muscle1 that sprang up like a ball of iron under his coat sleeve4 ,and as he felt it he cursed himself for the greatest of all fools4 ,thin1 meagre little men of the town1 tea-party men whose thoughts were ever on their ties and their moustaches1 no doubt gave themselves up readily to disturbances of the nerves4 ,but ,julian had always prided himself on being an athlete1 able to hold his own in the world by mere muscular force1 if need be4 ,he had found it possible to develop side by side brain and biceps1 each to an adequate end4 ,it had seemed grand to him to hold these scales of his being evenly1 to balance them to a hair4 ,those scales hung badly now1 lopsidedly4 ,one was up in the clouds4 ,he resolved that the other should correct it4 ,after a cold bath and a sleep he would go round to ,angelo's and have an hour's hard fencing4 ,cold water1 the ,englishman's panacea for every ill1 cold steel1 the pioneer's ,minerva1 would tonic this errant brain of his and drill it into its customary obedience4 ,so he said to himself4 ,and yet as he walked there came to him a notion that this little shadow of a flame was still his companion2 that this night just passed1 this day just begun1 were the birthnight and the birthday of this small1 ghostlike thing which had come into being to bear him company1 to haunt him4 ,yes1 as he walked1 followed always closely by ,rip1 and saw the tall iron gates of the ,park1 ,apsley ,house1 the long line of ,piccadilly1 all uncertain1 gentle1 reduced to a whimsical mildness of aspect in the half-light of the dawning1 he again recalled the fact1 which he had mentioned that night to ,doctor ,levillier1 of people watching an invalid who had seen1 at the precise moment of dissolution1 the soul escaping furtively from its fleshy prison like a flame1 which was immediately lost in the air4 ,surely1 wandering souls1 if indeed there were such things1 might still retain this faint semblance of a shape1 a form4 ,and if so1 they might perhaps occasionally conceive a fantastic attachment to a human being1 and companion him silently as the dog companions his master4 ,he might have such a companion1 whose nature he could not comprehend1 whose object in seeking him out he could not guess4 ,perhaps it felt affection toward him2 perhaps1 on the other hand1 enmity4 ,a lover1 or a spy--it might be either4 ,or it might have no definite purpose1 but simply drift near him in the air1 as some human beings drift feebly along together through life1 because they have long ago loved each other1 or thought each other useful1 or fancied1 in some moment of madness1 that ,god meant them for each other4 ,it might be an aimless1 dreary soul1 unable to be gone from sheer dulness of purpose--a soul without temperament1 without character4 ,as this thought crossed ,julian's mind he happened to glance at the front of a shop on his left1 and against the iron shutters the flame was dimly but distinctly outlined4 ,he stopped at once to look at it1 but even as he stopped it was gone4 ,then he sternly brought himself back from the vague regions of fancy1 and was angry that he had permitted himself to wander in them like a child lost in the forest4 ,he bent down and patted ,rip1 and sought to wrench his mind from its wayward course1 and to thrust it forcibly into its accustomed groove of healthy sanity4 ,yet sanity seemed to become abruptly commonplace1 a sort of whining crossing-sweeper1 chattering untimely1 meaningless phrases to him4 ,to divert himself entirely he paused beside a peripatetic coffee-stall1 presided over by a grey-faced1 prematurely old youth1 with sharp features and the glancing eyes of poverty-stricken avarice4 ,give me a cup of coffee1 he said4 ,the youth clattered his wares in excited obedience4 ,while he was pouring out the steaming liquid there drifted down to ,julian through the grey weariness of the morning a painted girl of the streets1 crowned with a large hat1 on which a forest of feathers waved in the weak and chilly breeze4 ,julian glanced at her idly enough and she glanced back at him4 ,horror1 he thought1 looked from her eyes as if from a window4 ,as she returned his gaze she hovered near him in the peculiar desultory way of such women1 and ,julian1 glad of any distraction1 offered her a cup of coffee4 ,she drew nearer and accepted it4 ,and a bun1 my dear1 she hinted to the sharp-featured youth4 ,and a bun1 echoed ,julian1 seeing his doubtful pause of hesitation4 ,the bun came into view from a hidden basket1 and the meal began1 ,julian1 ,rip1 and the lady of the feathers forming a companionable group upon the kerb4 ,the lady's curious and almost thrilling expression1 which had seemed to beacon from some height of her soul some exceptional and dreary deed1 faded under the influence of the dough and currants4 ,a smile overspread her thin features4 ,she examined ,julian with a gracious interest4 ,it's easy to see you've been makin' a night of it1 ,bertie1 she remarked casually at length1 in the suffocated voice of one divided between desire of conversation and love of food4 ,you think so8 said ,julian4 ,think so1 dear1 ,i'm sure so6 ,ask me another as ,i don't know2 do darlin'4 ,julian took another draught from the thick coffee-cup that held so amazingly little4 ,and what about yourself8 he said4 ,why are you out here so early8 ,the lady of the feathers cast a suspicious glance upon him4 ,then the horror dawned again in her eyes4 ,i'm afraid to go home1 she said4 ,yes1 that's a fact4 ,afraid--why8 ,julian spoke abstractedly4 ,in truth he merely talked to this floating wisp of humanity to distract his mind1 and thought of her as a strange female ,david of the streets sent to make a cockney music in his ears that his soul might be rid of its evil spirit4 ,never you mind why1 the lady answered4 ,she shivered suddenly1 violently1 as a dog just come out of water4 ,have another cup8 ,julian said4 ,and a bun1 dearie1 the lady again rejoined4 ,she shook her head till all the feathers danced4 ,never you mind why1 she said1 reverting again to his vagrant question4 ,there's some things as don't do to talk about4 ,i'm sure ,i've no wish to pry into your private affairs1 ,julian rejoined carelessly4 ,but again he noticed the worn terror of her face4 ,surely that night she1 too1 had passed through some unwonted experience1 which had written its sign-manual amid the paint and powder of her shame4 ,the lady stared back at him4 ,beneath her tinted eyelids the fear seemed to grow like a weed4 ,tears followed1 rolling over her cheeks and mingling with the coffee in her cup4 ,oh dear1 she murmured lamentably4 ,oh1 dear1 oh6 ,what's the matter8 said ,julian4 ,but she only shook her head1 with the peevish persistence of weak obstinacy1 and continued vaguely to weep as one worn down by chill circumstance4 ,julian turned his eyes from her to the coffee-stall1 in which the sharp-featured youth now negligently leant1 well satisfied with the custom he had secured4 ,behind the youth's head it seemed to ,julian that the phantom flame hung trembling1 as if blown by the light wind of the morning4 ,he laid his hand on the lady's left arm and unconsciously closed his fingers firmly over the flesh1 while1 in a low voice1 he said to her3 ,look there6 ,the lady of the feathers stopped crying abruptly1 as if her tears were suddenly frozen at their source4 ,where1 dearie8 she said jerkily4 ,whatever do you mean8 ,there where the cups are hung up4 ,don't you see anything8 ,but the lady was looking at him1 and she now dropped her cup with a crash to the pavement4 ,there's a go1 said the sharp-featured youth4 ,you're a nice one1 you are6 ,without regarding his protest1 the lady violently wrenched her arm from ,julian's grasp and recoiled from the stall4 ,le-go my arm1 she babbled hysterically4 ,le-go1 ,i say4 ,i can't stand any more--no1 ,i can't4 ,i'm not going to hurt you1 said ,julian1 astonished at her outburst4 ,but she only repeated vehemently3 ,let go1 let me go6 ,backing away1 she trod the fallen coffee-cup to fragments on the pavement1 and began to drift down ,piccadilly1 her face under the feathers set so completely round over her shoulder1 in observation of ,julian1 that she seemed to be promenading backwards4 ,and as she went she uttered deplorable wailing sounds1 which gradually increased in volume4 ,apparently she considered that her life had been in imminent danger1 and that she saved herself by shrieks2 for1 still keeping her face toward the coffee-stall1 she faded away in the morning1 until only the faint noise of her retreat betokened her existence any longer4 ,the sharp-featured youth winked wearily at ,julian from the midst of his grove of coffee-cups4 ,nice things1 women1 sir1 he ejaculated4 ,good ayngels the books calls 'm4 ,o ,gawd6 ,julian paid him and walked away4 ,and as he went he found himself instinctively watching for the fleeting shadow of a flame1 trying to perceive it against the grey face of a house1 against the trunk of a tree1 the dark green of a seat4 ,but the light of the mounting morning grew ever stronger and the flame-shaped shadow did not reappear4 ,julian reached his chambers1 undressed abstractedly and went to bed4 ,before he fell asleep he looked at ,rip reposing happily at the foot of the bed1 and had a moment of shooting wonder that the little dog was so completely comfortable with him4 ,that it had flown at its master1 who had always been kind to it1 whom it had always seemed to love hitherto1 puzzled ,julian4 ,but then so many things had puzzled him within the last few days4 ,he stroked ,rip with a meditative hand and lay down4 ,soon his mind began to wander in the maze whose clue is sleep4 ,he was with ,valentine1 with ,doctor ,levillier1 with the sharp-featured youth and the lady of the feathers4 ,they sat round a table and it was dark2 yet he could see4 ,and the lady's feathers grew like the beanstalk of ,jack the ,giant-killer towards heaven and the land of ogres4 ,then ,julian climbed up and up till he reached the top of the ladder4 ,and it seemed to him that the feather ladder ended in blue space and in air1 and that far away he saw the outline of a golden bar4 ,and on this bar two figures leaned4 ,one seemed an angel1 one a devil4 ,yet they had faces that were alike1 and were beautiful4 ,they faded4 ,julian seemed vaguely to hear the sharp-featured youth say1 ,good ayngels6 ,o ,gawd6 ,was that the motto of his sleep8 ,,chapter ,,iii ,a ,,drive ,,in ,,the ,,rain ,when ,julian returned from ,angelo's the next morning he found lying upon the breakfast table a note1 and1 after the custom of many people1 before opening it he read the address on the envelope two or three times and considered who the writer might be4 ,it struck him at once that the writing ought to be familiar to him and capable of instant identification4 ,the name of his correspondent was literally on the tip of his mind4 ,yet he could not utter it4 ,and so at last he broke the seal4 ,before reading the note he glanced at the signature3 ,valentine4 ,julian was surprised4 ,he knew now why he had seemed to remember1 yet had not actually remembered1 the handwriting4 ,regarding it again1 he found it curiously changed from ,valentine's usual hand1 yet containing many points of resemblance4 ,after a while he came to the conclusion that it was like a bad photograph of the original1 imitating1 closely enough1 all the main points of the original1 yet leaving out all the character1 all the delicacy of it4 ,for ,valentine's handwriting had always seemed to ,julian to express his nature4 ,it was rather large and very clear1 but delicate1 the letters exquisitely formed1 the lines perfectly even1 neither depressed nor slanting upwards4 ,this note was surely much more coarsely written than usual4 ,and yet1 of course1 it was ,valentine's writing4 ,julian wondered he had not known4 ,he read the note at last3 ,,dear ,,julian1 ,i am coming over to see you this afternoon about five1 and shall try and persuade ,rip to restore me to his confidence4 ,i hope you will be in4 ,are you tired after last night's experiences8 ,i never felt better4 ,ever yours1 ,,valentine4 ,and yet1 ,julian thought1 ,i should have guessed by your writing that you were in some unusual frame of mind1 either tired1 or--or-- he looked again1 and closely1 at the writing1--or in a temper less delightfully calm and seraphic than usual4 ,yes1 it looks actually a bad-tempered hand4 ,valentine's6 ,then he laughed1 and tossed the note carelessly into the fire that was crackling upon the hearth4 ,rip lay by it1 quietly sleeping4 ,punctually at five o'clock ,valentine appeared4 ,rip was still lying happily before the fire1 but directly the dog caught sight of its master all the hair along the middle of its back bristled on end1 and it showed every symptom of acute distress and fury4 ,julian was obliged to put it out of the room4 ,what can have come over ,rip1 ,valentine8 he said1 as he came back4 ,this sudden hatred of you is inexplicable4 ,absolutely1 ,valentine answered4 ,but it is sure to pass away4 ,there was something uncanny about that trance of mine which frightened the little beggar4 ,perhaps4 ,but the oddest thing is1 that while you were insensible ,rip lay with his head upon your arm as contented as possible4 ,it was only just as you began to show signs of life that he seemed to turn against you4 ,i can't understand it4 ,nor ,i4 ,have you seen ,marr to-day8 ,no4 ,i haven't been to the club4 ,i am so glad you don't know him4 ,valentine laughed4 ,he was lying back in a big chair1 smoking a cigarette4 ,his face was unclouded and serene1 and he had never looked more entirely healthy4 ,indeed1 he appeared much more decisively robust than usual4 ,julian noticed this4 ,your trance seems positively to have done you good1 he said4 ,it certainly has not done me harm4 ,my short death of the senses has rested me wonderfully4 ,i wonder if ,i am what is called a medium4 ,i shouldn't be surprised if you are1 ,julian said4 ,but ,i don't think ,i could be surprised at anything to-day4 ,indeed1 ,i have found myself dwelling with childish pleasure upon the most preposterous ideas1 hugging them to my soul1 determining to believe in them4 ,such as--what8 ,well1 such as this4 ,and then ,julian told ,valentine of his curious notion that some wandering soul was beginning to companion him1 and described how he had thought he saw it when he was gazing at the old woman in ,grosvenor ,place1 and again when he was with the lady of the feathers4 ,but1 ,valentine said1 you say you were staring very hard at the old woman8 ,yes4 ,that might account for the matter of the first appearance of the flame in daylight4 ,if you look very steadily at some object1 a kind of slight mirage will often intervene between you and it4 ,perhaps4 ,but ,i have seen this shadow of a flame when ,i was not thinking of it or expecting it4 ,when8 ,just now4 ,as you came into the room ,i saw it float out at that door4 ,you are sure8 ,i believe so4 ,yes1 ,i am4 ,but why should this soul1 if soul it be1 haunt you8 ,i can't tell4 ,perhaps1 ,val1 you and ,i ought not to have played at spiritualism as we should play at a game4 ,perhaps-- ,julian paused4 ,he was looking anxious1 even worried4 ,suppose we have not stopped in time1 he said4 ,valentine raised his eyebrows4 ,i don't understand4 ,julian was standing exactly opposite to him1 leaning against the mantelpiece and looking down at him4 ,we ought never to have sat again after our conversation with the doctor1 ,julian said4 ,i feel that to-day1 so strongly4 ,i feel that perhaps we have taken just the one step too far1--the one step in the dark that may be fatal4 ,fatal6 ,my dear ,julian1 you are unstrung by the events of the night4 ,but the calm of ,valentine's voice did not seem to sway ,julian4 ,he continued3 ,valentine1 now that ,i am with you1 ,i am attacked by a strange idea4 ,what is it8 ,that last night may have its consequences2 yes1 even though we strive to forget it1 and to forget our sittings4 ,if it should be so6 ,if anything-- ,he was curiously upset1 and did not seem able to-day to take the influence of ,valentine's mood4 ,indeed1 this new anxiety of his was only born in ,valentine's presence1 was communicated apparently by him4 ,everything one does has its following consequence1 ,julian said4 ,it is the fashion to say so4 ,i do not believe it4 ,i believe1 on the contrary1 that we often do things with a special view to the doctrine of consequence1 and that our intentions are frustrated by the falseness of the doctrine4 ,suppose ,i kiss a woman4 ,i may do so with intention to make her love me1 or1 on the other hand1 to make her hate me4 ,the chances are that she does neither the one nor the other4 ,she simply forgets all about such a trifle1 and we go on shaking hands politely for the rest of our natural lives4 ,julian1 the memories of most people are like winter days--very short4 ,perhaps4 ,but there is some hidden thing in life whose memory is everlasting4 ,all the philosophers say so1 especially those who are inclined to deny the ,deity4 ,they put their faith in the chain of cause and effect4 ,what we have done1--you and ,i1 ,valentine1--must have an effect of some sort4 ,it will have a very bad effect upon you1 ,i can see1 said ,valentine1 smiling1 unless you pull yourself together4 ,come1 this is nonsense4 ,we have sat once too often1 and the consequence followed1 and is over3 ,i went into a trance4 ,i have fortunately come out of it1 so the penalty which you so firmly believe in has been paid4 ,the score is cleared1 ,julian4 ,i suppose so4 ,i have no doubt of it4 ,let us forget the whole matter1 since to remember it seems likely to affect those devils that make the hell of the physical man--the nerves4 ,let us forget it4 ,where are you dining to-night8 ,nowhere in particular4 ,i have not thought about it1 ,julian said1 rather listlessly4 ,dine with me then4 ,yes1 ,valentine4 ,julian hesitated1 then added3 ,but not in ,victoria ,street1 if you don't mind4 ,at the ,savoy then2 or shall we say the ,berkeley8 ,very well1--the ,berkeley4 ,at eight o'clock4 ,good-bye till then4 ,i must ask you to give the shelter of your roof to ,rip till he returns to a more reasonable frame of mind about me4 ,when ,valentine had gone ,julian put on his coat1 and walked down to the club1 ostensibly to look at the evening papers1 really because he had a desire to see ,marr4 ,his intention1 if he did meet the latter1 was to question him closely as to the consequences which might follow upon a sitting1 or series of sittings1 undertaken by two people for some reason unsuited to carry out such an enterprise together4 ,that ,marr would be in the club he felt no shadow of doubt4 ,apparently the club had for ,marr all the attraction that induces the new member to haunt the smoking and reading rooms of his freshly acquired home during the first week or two of its possession4 ,he was incessantly there1 as ,julian had had reason to know4 ,but to-day proved to be an exception4 ,julian explored the club from end to end without finding the object of his search4 ,finally he went to the hall-porter4 ,is ,mr4 ,marr in the club to-day8 ,no1 sir2 he has not been in at all since yesterday afternoon4 ,oh1 thanks4 ,julian felt strongly1 even absurdly1 disappointed1 and found himself wishing that he possessed ,marr's private address4 ,he would certainly have called upon him4 ,however1 he had no idea where ,marr lived1 so there was nothing to be done4 ,he went back to his rooms1 dressed for dinner1 and was at the ,berkeley by five minutes past eight4 ,the restaurant was very crowded that night1 but ,valentine had secured a table in the window1 and was waiting when ,julian arrived4 ,the table next to theirs was the only one unoccupied in the room4 ,the two friends sat down and began to eat rather silently in the midst of the uproar of conversation round them4 ,valentine seemed quite unconscious of the many glances directed towards him4 ,he never succeeded in passing unnoticed anywhere1 and although he had never done anything remarkable1 was one of the best-known men in town merely by virtue of his unusual personality4 ,there's the ,victoria ,street ,saint1 murmured a pretty girl to her companion4 ,what a fortune that man could make on the stage4 ,yes1 or as a pianist1 responded the man1 rather enviously4 ,his looks would crowd ,st4 ,james's ,hall even if he couldn't play a note4 ,i never can understand how ,cresswell manages to have such a complexion in ,london4 ,he must take precious good care of himself4 ,saints generally do4 ,you see1 we live for time1 they for eternity4 ,we only have to keep the wrinkles at bay for a few years1 but they want to look nice on the ,judgment ,day4 ,she was a little actress1 and at this point she laughed to indicate that she had said something smart4 ,as her laugh was dutifully echoed by the man who was paying for the dinner1 she felt deliriously clever for the rest of the evening4 ,presently ,julian said3 ,i went to the club this afternoon4 ,did you8 ,yes4 ,i wanted to have a talk with that fellow ,marr4 ,valentine suddenly put down the glass of champagne which he was in the act of raising to his lips4 ,but surely1 he began1 with some appearance of haste4 ,then he seemed to check himself1 and finished calmly3 ,you found him1 ,i suppose8 ,no4 ,i thought he was perpetually there1 apparently on the lookout for you4 ,yes1 but to-day he hadn't been in at all4 ,perhaps he has gone out of town4 ,ah1 probably4 ,at this moment two men entered the restaurant and strolled towards the table next to that at which ,valentine and ,julian sat4 ,one of them knew ,julian and nodded as he passed4 ,he was just on the point of sitting down and unfolding his napkin when a sudden thought seemed to strike him1 and he came over and said to ,julian3 ,you remember that dinner at ,lady ,crichton's1 where we met the other night8 ,yes4 ,startling bit of news to-night1 wasn't it8 ,damned sudden6 ,julian looked puzzled4 ,what--is ,lady ,crichton ill1 then8 ,lady ,crichton6 ,no4 ,i meant about that poor fellow1 ,marr4 ,julian swung round in his seat and regarded the man full in the face4 ,marr6 ,why1 what is it8 ,has he had an accident8 ,dead6 the other man said laconically1 arranging the gardenia in his coat1 and taking a comprehensive survey of the room4 ,dead6 ,julian repeated1 without expression4 ,dead6 ,yes4 ,well1 bye-bye4 ,going on to the ,empire6 ,he turned to go1 but ,julian caught his arm4 ,wait a moment4 ,when did he die8 ,last night4 ,in the dead of the night1 or in the early morning4 ,what of8 ,they don't know4 ,there's going to be an inquest4 ,the poor chap didn't die at home1 but in a private hotel1 in the ,euston ,road1 the ',european4' ,he's lying there now4 ,funny sort of chap1 but not bad in his way4 ,i expect-- ,here the man bent down and murmured something into ,julian's ear4 ,well1 see you again presently4 ',in the midst of life1' eh8 ,he lounged away and began applying his intellect to the dissection of a sardine4 ,julian turned round in his chair and again faced ,valentine4 ,but he did not go on eating the cutlet in aspic that lay upon his plate4 ,he sat looking at ,valentine1 and at last said3 ,how horribly sudden6 ,yes1 ,valentine answered sympathetically4 ,he must have had a weak heart4 ,i dare say4 ,i suppose so4 ,valentine1 ,i can't realize it4 ,it must be difficult4 ,a man whom you saw so recently1 and ,i suppose apparently quite well4 ,quite4 ,absolutely4 ,julian sat silent again and allowed the waiter to take away his plate with the untouched cutlet4 ,i didn't like the man1 he began at last4 ,but still ,i'm sorry1 damned sorry1 about this4 ,i wanted to see him again4 ,he was an awfully interesting fellow1 ,val2 and1 as ,i told you1 might1 ,i believe1 in time have gained a sort of influence over me1--not like yours1 of course1 but he certainly had a power1 a strength1 about him1 even a kind of fascination4 ,he was not like other people4 ,ah-- and he exclaimed impatiently1 ,i wish you had met him4 ,why8 ,i scarcely know4 ,but ,i should like you to have had the experience4 ,and then1 you are so intuitive about people1 you might have read him4 ,i could not4 ,and he was a fellow worth reading1 that ,i'm certain of4 ,no1 ,i won't have any mutton4 ,i seem to have lost my appetite over this4 ,valentine calmly continued his dinner1 while ,julian talked on about ,marr rather excitedly4 ,when they were having coffee ,valentine said3 ,what shall we do to-night8 ,it is only a quarter past nine4 ,shall we go anywhere8 ,oh no1 ,i think not--wait--yes1 we will4 ,julian drank his coffee off at a gulp1 in a way that would have made him the despair of an epicure4 ,where shall we go1 then8 ,julian answered3 ,to the ,euston ,road4 ,to the ',european4' ,the ',european'6 ,yes1 ,valentine2 ,i must see ,marr once more1 even dead4 ,and ,i want you to see him4 ,it was he who made the strangeness in our lives4 ,but for him these curious events of the last days would not have happened4 ,and isn't it peculiar that he must have died just about the time you were in your trance8 ,i do not see that4 ,the two things were totally unconnected4 ,perhaps4 ,i suppose so4 ,but ,i must know how he died4 ,i must see what he looks like dead4 ,you will come with me8 ,if you wish it4 ,but we may not be admitted4 ,i will manage that somehow4 ,let us go4 ,valentine got up4 ,he showed neither definite reluctance nor excitement4 ,they put on their coats in the vestibule and went out into the street4 ,while they had been dining the weather1 fine during the day1 had changed1 and rain was falling in sheets4 ,they stood in the doorway while the hall-porter called a cab4 ,piccadilly on such a night as this looked perhaps more decisively dreary than a rain-soaked country lane1 or storm-driven sand-dunes by the sea4 ,for wet humanity1 with wispy hair and swishing petticoats1 draggled with desire for shelter1 is a piteous vision as it passes by4 ,valentine and ,julian regarded it1 turning up their coat collars and instinctively thrusting their hands deep into their pockets4 ,two soldiers passed1 pursued by a weary and tattered woman1 at whom they laughingly jeered as they adjusted the cloaks over their broad shoulders4 ,they were hurrying back to barracks1 and disregarded the woman's reiterated exclamation that she would go with them1 having no home4 ,a hansom went by with the glass down1 a painted face staring through it upon the yellow mud that splashed round the horse's feet4 ,suddenly the horse slipped and came down4 ,the glass splintered as the painted and now screaming face was dashed through it4 ,a wet crowd of roughs and pavement vagabonds gathered and made hoarse remarks on the woman's dress as she was hauled out in her finery1 bleeding and half fainting1 her silk gown a prey to the mud1 her half-naked shoulders a hostage to the wind4 ,two men in opera-hats1 walked towards their club1 discussing a divorce case1 and telling funny stories through the rain4 ,a very small1 pale1 and filthy boy stood with bare feet upon the kerbstone1 and cried damp matches4 ,how horrible ,london is to-night1 ,julian said as he and ,valentine got into their cab4 ,yes4 ,why add to our necessary contemplation of its horrors8 ,why go on this mad errand8 ,i want you to see ,marr1 ,julian replied1 with a curious obstinacy4 ,he pushed up the trap in the roof4 ,drive to the ,european ,hotel1 in the ,euston ,road1 he said to the cabman4 ,d' you know it8 ,yes1 sir1 the cabman said4 ,he was smiling on his perch as he cracked his whip and drove towards the ,circus4 ,the glass had been let down and the two friends beheld a continuously blurred prospect of ,london framed in racing raindrops and intersected by the wooden framework of the movable shutter4 ,it was at the same time fantastic and tumultuous4 ,the glare of light at the ,circus shone over the everlasting procession of converging omnibuses1 the everlasting mob of prostitutes and of respectable citizens waiting to mount into the vehicles whose paint proclaimed their destination4 ,active walkers darted dexterously to and fro over the cobblestones1 occasionally turning sharply to swear at a driver whose cab had bespattered their black conventionality with clinging dirt4 ,the drivers were impassively insulting1 as became men placed for the moment in a high station of life4 ,at the door of the ,criterion ,restaurant an enormously fat and white bookmaker in a curly hat and diamonds muttered remarks into the ear of an unshaven music-hall singer4 ,a gigantic chucker-out observed them with the dull gaze of sullen habit1 and a beggar-boy whined to them in vain for alms1 then fluttered into obscurity4 ,fixed with corner stones upon the wet pavement of the island lay in an unwinking row the contents bill of the evening papers1 proclaiming in gigantic black or red letters the facts of suicide1 slander1 divorce1 murder1 railway accidents1 fires1 and war complications4 ,dreary men read them with dreary1 unexcited eyes1 then forked out halfpence to raucous youths whose arms were full of damp sheets of pink paper4 ,a ,guardsman kissed good-bye to his trembling sweetheart as he chivalrously assisted her into a ,marylebone 'bus1 and two shop-girls1 going home from work1 nudged each other and giggled hysterically4 ,four fat ,frenchmen stood in the porch of the ,monico violently gesticulating and talking volubly at the tops of their voices4 ,two ,english undergraduates pushed past them with a look of contempt1 and went speechlessly into the caf beyond4 ,a lady from ,paris1 all red velvet and white ostrich-tips1 smoothed her cheek with her kid glove meditatively1 and glanced about in search of her fate of the dark and silent hours4 ,and then--,valentine and ,julian were in the comparative dimness of ,shaftesbury ,avenue--a huge red cross on a black background started out of the gloom above a playhouse4 ,julian shuddered at it visibly4 ,you are quite unstrung to-night1 ,julian1 ,valentine said4 ,let us turn the cab round and go home4 ,no1 no1 my dear fellow2 ,i am all right4 ,it is only that ,i see things to-night much more clearly than usual4 ,i suppose it is owing to something physical that every side of ,london seems to have sprung into prominence4 ,of course ,i go about every day in ,piccadilly1 ,st4 ,james's ,street1 everywhere2 but it is as if my eyes had been always shut1 and now they are open4 ,i can see ,london to-night4 ,and that cross looked so devilishly ironical up there1 as if it were silently laughing at the tumult in the rain4 ,don't you feel ,london to-night1 too1 ,valentine8 ,i always feel it4 ,tragically or comically8 ,i don't know that ,i could say truly either4 ,calmly or contemptuously would rather be the word4 ,you are always a philosopher4 ,i can't be a philosopher when ,i see those hordes of women standing hour after hour in the rain1 and those boys searching among them4 ,i should be one of those boys probably but for you4 ,if you were1 ,i doubt whether ,i should feel horrified4 ,not morally horrified1 ,i dare say1 but intellectually disgusted4 ,eh8 ,i am not sure whether ,i shall permit my intellect quite so much license in the future as ,i have permitted it in the past1 ,valentine said thoughtfully4 ,his blue eyes were on ,julian1 but ,julian was gazing out on ,oxford ,street1 which they were crossing at that moment4 ,julian1 who had apparently continued dwelling on the train of thoughts waked in him by the sight of the painted cross1 ignored this remark and said3 ,it is not my moral sense which shuddered just now1 ,i believe1 but my imagination4 ,sin is so full of prose1 although many clever writers have represented it as splendidly decorated with poetry4 ,don't you think so1 ,val8 ,and it is the prose of sin ,i realized so vividly just now4 ,the wet flowers on the waiting hats1 the cold raindrops on the painted faces1 the damp boots trudging to find sin1 the dark clouds pouring a benediction on it4 ,i know what you mean4 ,but the whole question is one of weather1 ,i think4 ,vanity ,fair on a hot1 sweet summer night1 with a huge golden moon over ,westminster1 soft airs and dry pavements1 would make you see this city in a different light4 ,and which of the lights is the true one8 ,i dare say neither4 ,why not both8 ,the smartest coat has a lining1 you know4 ,i dare say there are velvet sins as well as plush sins1 and the man who can find the velvet is the lucky fellow4 ,sins feel like plush to me1 however1 and ,i dislike plush4 ,so ,i am not the lucky fellow4 ,no1 ,valentine2 you are wrong4 ,i'm pretty sure all virtue is velvet and all vice is plush4 ,so you stick to velvet4 ,i don't know4 ,ask the next pretty dressmaker you meet4 ,bloomsbury is a genteel inferno on a wet night4 ,they traversed it smoothly on asphalt ways4 ,all the time ,valentine was watching ,julian with a fixed and narrow scrutiny1 which ,julian failed to notice4 ,the rows of dull houses seemed endless1 and endlessly alike4 ,i am sure all of them are full of solicitors1 said ,valentine4 ,presently in many fanlights they saw the mystic legend1 ,apartments4 ,then there were buildings that had an aged air and sported broken windows4 ,occasionally1 on a background of red glass lit by a gas-jet from behind1 sat the word ,hotel4 ,a certain grimy degradation swam in the atmosphere of these streets4 ,their aspect was subtly different from the ,bloomsbury thoroughfares1 which look actively church-going1 and are full of the shadows of an everlasting respectability which pays its water rates and sends occasional conscience-money to the ,chancellor of the ,exchequer4 ,people looked furtive1 and went in and out of the houses furtively4 ,they crawled rather than pranced1 and their bodies bore themselves with a depression that seemed indiscreet4 ,occasionally men with dripping umbrellas knocked at the doors under the red glass1 and disappeared into narrow passages inhabited by small iron umbrella-stands4 ,night brooded here like a dyspeptic raven with moulting tail-feathers and ragged wings4 ,but ,london is eloquent of surprises4 ,the cab turned a corner1 and instantly they were in a wide and rain-swept street1 long and straight1 and lined with reserved houses1 that shrank back from the publicity of the passing traffic at the end of narrow alleys protected by iron gates4 ,over many of these gates appeared lit arches of glass on which names were inscribed3 ,albion ,hotel1 ,valetta ,hotel1 ,imperial ,hotel1 ,cosmopolitan ,hotel1--great names for small houses4 ,these houses had front doors with glass panels1 and all the panels glowed dimly with gas4 ,the cab flashed by them1 and ,julian read the fleeting names1 until his eyes were suddenly saluted with ,european ,hotel4 ,violently the cabman drew up4 ,the smoking horse was squeezed upon its haunches1 and its feet slithered harshly along the stones4 ,it tried to sit down1 was hauled up by the reins1 and stood trembling as the right wheel of the cab collided with the pavement edge1 and the water in the gutter splashed up as if projected from a spray4 ,beg pardon1 gents4 ,i thought it was a bit further on1 said the cabby1 leering down cheerfully4 ,nice night1 sir1 ain't it8 ,he shook the reluctant drops of moisture from his waterproof-shrouded hat1 and drove off4 ,valentine opened the damp iron gate1 and they walked up the paved alley to the door4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,the ,,euston ,,road ,,episode ,opening the door1 they found themselves in a squalid passage4 ,a room on the left was fronted by a sort of counter1 above which was a long window giving onto the passage1 and as the shrill tinkle of a bell announced their entrance this window was pushed up1 and the large red face and furtive observant eyes of a man stared upon them inquiringly4 ,do you require a room for the night8 he asked1 in a husky voice1 invaded by a strong ,french accent4 ,because-- ,no1 interrupted ,julian4 ,the man nodded1 and1 strange to say1 with apparent content4 ,there is trouble in my house1 he said4 ,i am unlucky2 ,i come to ,england from my country to earn an honest living1 and before two years1 ,i have the police here last night4 ,yes1 said ,julian1 ,i know4 ,what8 ,you know it8 ,well1 it is not my fault4 ,the gentleman come last night with a lady1 his wife1 ,i suppose4 ,how am ,i to know8 ,he ask for a room4 ,he look perfectly well4 ,i give them the room4 ,they go to bed4 ,at four o'clock in the morning ,i hear a bell ring4 ,i get up4 ,i go on the landing to listen4 ,i hear the bell again4 ,i run to the chamber of the lady and gentleman4 ,the lady is gone4 ,the gentleman falls back on the bed as ,i come in and dies4 ,mon ,dieu6 ,it is-- ,he suddenly paused in his excited narrative4 ,valentine had moved his position slightly and was now standing almost immediately under the gas-lamp that lit the glass door4 ,you--you are relation of him8 he said4 ,you come to see him8 ,i have come to see him1 certainly1 said ,valentine4 ,but ,i am no relation of his4 ,this gentleman1 and he pointed to ,julian1 knew him well1 and wished to look at him once more4 ,the landlord seemed puzzled4 ,he glanced from ,valentine to ,julian1 then back again to ,valentine4 ,but1 he began1 once more addressing himself to the latter1 you are like--there is something2 when the poor gentleman fell on the bed and died he had your eyes4 ,yes1 yes1 you are relation of him4 ,no1 ,valentine said2 you are mistaken4 ,i should think so1 exclaimed ,julian4 ,poor ,marr's face was as utterly different from yours1 ,valentine1 as darkness is different from light4 ,no1 no2 it is not the eyes of the gentleman1 the landlord continued1 leaning forward through his window1 and still violently scrutinizing ,valentine1--it is not the eyes4 ,but there is something--the voice1 the manner--yes1 ,i say there is something1 ,i cannot tell4 ,you are dreaming1 my friend1 ,valentine calmly interposed4 ,now1 ,julian1 what do you want to do8 ,julian came forward and leant his arm on the counter4 ,i am the poor gentleman's great friend1 he said4 ,you must let me see him4 ,the landlord held up his fat hands with a large gesticulation of refusal4 ,i cannot1 sir4 ,to-morrow they remove him4 ,they sit on the poor gentleman-- ,i know1--the inquest4 ,all this is very hard upon you1 an honest man trying to make an honest living4 ,julian put some money into one of the agitated hands4 ,my friend and ,i only wish to see him for a moment4 ,monsieur1 ,i cannot4 ,i-- ,julian insinuated another sovereign into his protesting fingers4 ,they took it as an anemone takes a shrimp1 and made a gesture of abdication4 ,well1 if ,monsieur is the friend of the poor gentleman1 ,i have not the heart1 ,i am tender-hearted1 ,i am foolish-- ,he disappeared muttering from the window1 and in a moment appeared at a door on the left1 disclosing himself now fully as a degraded1 flaccid-looking1 frouzy ruffian of a very low type1 flashily dressed1 and of a most unamiable expression4 ,taking a candlestick from a dirty marble-topped slab that projected from the passage-wall1 he struck a match1 lit the candle1 and preceded them up the narrow flight of stairs1 his boots creaking loudly at every step4 ,on the landing at the top a smart maid-servant with a very pale face reconnoitered the party for a moment with furtive curiosity1 then flitted away in the darkness to the upper regions of the house4 ,the landlord paused by a door numbered with a black number4 ,he is in here1 he whispered hoarsely4 ,tomorrow they sit on him4 ,after that he go from me4 ,mon ,dieu6 ,i am glad when he is gone4 ,my custom he is spoilt4 ,my house get a bad name1 and like a dog they hang him4 ,mon ,dieu6 ,he opened the door stealthily1 forming ,st6 with his fat1 coarse lips4 ,i light the gas4 ,it is all dark4 ,no1 no1 ,julian said1 taking the candle from him1 ,i will do that4 ,go down4 ,he motioned him away1 and entered the room1 followed by ,valentine1 at whom the landlord again stared with a greedy consideration and curiosity1 before turning to retreat softly down the narrow stairs4 ,they found themselves in a good-sized room1 typically of ,london4 ,it was full of the peculiar and unmistakable metropolitan smell1 a stale odor of the streets that suggests smuts to the mind4 ,two windows1 with a long dingy mirror set between them1 looked out towards the ,euston ,road4 ,venetian blinds and thin white curtains looped with yellow ribbon shrouded them4 ,on a slab that stuck out under the mirror was placed a bundle of curling-pins tied with white tape1 a small brush and comb1 and a bottle of cherry-blossom scent4 ,near the mirror stood a narrow sofa covered with red rep4 ,upon this lay a man's upturned top-hat1 in the corner of which reposed a pair of reindeer gloves4 ,a walking-stick with a gold top stood against the wall1 in a corner by the marble mantlepiece4 ,in the middle of the room lay a small open portmanteau1 disclosing a disorder of shirts1 handkerchiefs1 and boots1 a cheque-book1 a bottle of brandy1 and some brushes4 ,by the fireplace there was a vulgar-looking arm-chair upholstered in red4 ,the room was full of the faint sound of ,london voices and ,london traffic4 ,julian went straight up to the gas chandelier and lit all three jets4 ,his action was hurried and abrupt4 ,then he set the candle down beside the bundle of curling-pins1 and turned sharply round to face the bed4 ,the room was now a glare of light1 and in this glare of light the broad bed with its white counterpane and sheets stood out harshly enough4 ,the sheets were turned smoothly down under the blue chin of the dead man1 who lay there upon his back1 his face with fast-shut eyes dusky white1 or rather grey1 among the pillows4 ,as ,julian looked upon him he exclaimed3 ,good ,god1 it isn't ,marr6 ,valentine1 it isn't ,marr6 ,not8 ,no4 ,and yet--wait a moment-- ,julian came nearer to the bed and bent right down over the corpse4 ,then he drew away and looked at ,valentine1 who was at the other side of the bed4 ,oh1 ,valentine1 this is strange1 he whispered1 and drawing a chair to the bedside1 he sank down upon it4 ,this is strange4 ,what is it death does to a man8 ,yes2 this is ,marr4 ,i see now2 but so different1 so altered6 ,the whole expression1--oh1 it is almost incredible4 ,he stared again upon the face4 ,it was long in shape1 thin and swarthy1 very weary looking1 the face of a man who had seen much1 who had done very many1 very various things4 ,no face with shut eyes can look1 perhaps1 completely characteristic4 ,yet this face was full of a character that seemed curiously at war with the shape of the features and with the position of the closed eyes1 which were very near together4 ,julian1 in describing ,marr to ,valentine1 had pronounced him ,satanic1 and this dead face was1 in truth1 somewhat ,mephistophelean4 ,an artist might well have painted it upon his canvas as a devil4 ,but he must have reproduced merely the features and colouring1 the blue1 shaven cheeks1 and hollow eye-sockets2 for the expression of his devil he would have been obliged to seek another model4 ,marr1 dead1 looked serene1 kind1 gentle1 satisfied1 like a man who has shaken himself free from a heavy burden1 and who stretches himself to realize the sudden and wonderful ease for which he has longed1 and who smiles1 thinking1 ,that ghastly thrall is over4 ,i am a slave no longer4 ,i am free4 ,the dead face was wonderfully happy4 ,julian seemed entirely fascinated by it4 ,after his last smothered exclamation to ,valentine1 he sat1 leaning one arm upon the head of the bed1 gazing till he looked stern1 as all utterly ardent observers look4 ,valentine1 too1 was staring at the dead man4 ,there was a very long silence in the room4 ,the rain leaped upon the tall windows on each side of the mirror and ran down them with an unceasing chilly vivacity4 ,lights from the street flickered through the blinds to join the glare of the gas4 ,all the music of the town wandered round the house as a panther wanders round a bungalow by night4 ,and the thin stream of people flowed by on the shining pavement beyond the iron railing of the narrow garden4 ,they spoke1 as they went1 of all the minor things of life1 details of home1 details of petty sins1 details of common loves and common hopes and fears1 all stirring feebly under umbrellas4 ,and close by these two friends1 under three flaring gas-jets1 watched the unwinking dead man1 whose face seemed full of relief4 ,presently ,julian1 without looking up1 said3 ,death has utterly changed him4 ,he is no longer the same man4 ,formerly he looked all evil1 and now it's just as if his body were thanking ,god because it had got rid of a soul it had hated4 ,yes1 it's just like that4 ,valentine1 ,i feel as if ,marr had been rescued4 ,as he said the last words ,julian looked up across the barrier of the bed at his friend4 ,his lips opened as if to speak1 but he said nothing2 for he was under the spell of a wild hallucination4 ,it seemed to him that there1 under the hard glare of the gas-lamps1 the soul of ,marr spoke1 stared from the pure1 proud face of ,valentine4 ,that was like a possession of his friend4 ,it was horrible1 as if a devil chose for a moment to lurk and to do evil in the sanctuary of a church1 to blaspheme at the very altar4 ,valentine did not speak4 ,he was looking down on the dead serenity of ,marr1 vindictively4 ,a busy intellect flashed in his clear blue eyes1 meditating vigorously upon the dead man's escape from bondage1 following him craftily to the very door of his freedom1 to seize him surely1 if it might be4 ,this is what ,julian felt in his hallucination1 that ,valentine was pursuing ,marr1 uselessly1 but with a deadly intention1 a deadly hatred4 ,valentine6 ,julian cried at last4 ,valentine looked up4 ,and in an instant the spell was removed4 ,julian saw his friend and protector rightly again1 calm1 pure1 delicately reserved4 ,the death-chamber no longer contained a phantom4 ,his eyes were no longer the purveyors of a terrible deception to his mind4 ,oh1 ,valentine1 come here1 ,julian said4 ,valentine came round by the end of the bed and stood beside him4 ,julian examined him narrowly4 ,never stand opposite to me again1 ,valentine4 ,opposite to you6 ,why not8 ,nothing1 nothing4 ,or--everything4 ,what is the matter with this room8 and me8 and you8 ,and why is ,marr so changed8 ,how is he changed8 ,you know ,i have never seen his face before4 ,you do not see it now4 ,he has gone out of it4 ,all that was ,marr as ,i knew him has utterly gone4 ,death has driven it away and left something quite different4 ,let us go4 ,julian got up4 ,valentine took up the candle from its place beside the curling-pins and lifted his hand to the gas-chandelier4 ,he had turned out one of the burners1 and was just going to turn out the two others when ,julian checked him4 ,no2 leave them4 ,let the landlord put them out4 ,leave him in the light4 ,they went out of the room1 treading softly4 ,a little way up the staircase that led from the landing to the upper parts of the house a light flickered down to them1 and they perceived the pale face of the housemaid diligently regarding them4 ,julian beckoned to her4 ,you showed the gentleman--the gentleman who is dead--to his room last night8 ,yes1 sir4 ,oh1 sir1 ,i can't believe he's really gone so sudden like4 ,then you saw the lady with him8 ,yes1 of course4 ,oh-- ,hush6 ,what was she like8 ,the housemaid's nose curled derisively4 ,oh1 sir1 quite the usual sort4 ,oh1 a very common person4 ,not at all like the poor gentleman1 sir4 ,young8 ,not to say old1 sir4 ,no2 ,i couldn't bring that against her4 ,she wore a hat1 sir1 and feathers--well1 more than ever growed on one ostrich1 ,i'll be bound4 ,feathers6 ,a vision of the lady of the feathers sprang up before ,julian1 wrapped in the wan light of the early dawn4 ,he put several rapid questions to the housemaid4 ,but she could only say again that ,marr's companion had been a very common person1 a very common sort of person indeed1 and flashily dressed1 not at all as she--the housemaid--would care to go out of a ,sunday4 ,julian tipped her and left her amazed upon the dim landing4 ,then he and ,valentine descended the stairs4 ,the landlord was waiting in the passage in an attentive attitude against the wall4 ,he seemed taken unawares by their appearance1 but his eyes immediately sought ,valentine's face1 still apparently questioning it with avidity4 ,julian noticed this1 and recollected that the man had insisted on a likeness existing between ,marr and ,valentine4 ,possibly that fact1 although apparently unremembered1 had remained lurking in his mind1 and was accountable for his own curious deception4 ,or could it be that there really was some vague1 fleeting resemblance between the dead man and the living which the landlord saw continuously1 he only at moments8 ,looking again at ,valentine he could not believe it4 ,no2 the landlord was deceived now1 as he had been in the death-chamber above stairs4 ,may we come into your room for a moment8 ,julian asked the man4 ,i want to put to you a few questions4 ,but certainly1 sir1 with pleasure4 ,he opened the side door and showed them into his sanctum beyond the glass window4 ,it was a small1 evil-looking room1 crowded with fumes of stale tobacco4 ,on the walls hung two or three ,french prints of more than doubtful decency4 ,a table with a bottle and two or three glasses ranged on it occupied the middle of the floor4 ,on a chair by the fire the ,gil ,bias was thrown in a crumpled attitude4 ,one gas-burner flared1 unshaded by any glass globe4 ,julian sat down on the ,gil ,bias4 ,valentine refused the landlord's offer of a chair1 and stood looking rather contemptuously at the inartistic improprieties of the prints4 ,did you let in the gentleman who came last night8 asked ,julian4 ,but1 sir1 of course4 ,i am always here4 ,i mind my house4 ,i see that only respect- ,exactly4 ,i don't doubt that for a moment4 ,what was the lady like1--the lady who accompanied him8 ,oh1 sir1 very chic1 very pretty4 ,didn't you hear her go out in the night8 ,the landlord looked for a moment as if he were considering the advisableness of a little bluster4 ,he stared hard at ,julian and thought better of it4 ,not a sound1 not a mouse4 ,till the bell rang ,i slept4 ,then she is gone6 ,would you recognize her again8 ,but no4 ,i hardly look at her1 and ,i see so many4 ,yes1 yes1 no doubt4 ,and the gentleman4 ,when you went into his room8 ,ah6 ,he was half sitting up4 ,i come in4 ,he just look at me4 ,he fall back4 ,he is dead4 ,he say nothing4 ,then ,i--,i run4 ,that's all ,i wanted to know1 ,julian said4 ,valentine1 shall we go8 ,by all means4 ,the landlord seemed relieved at their decision1 and eagerly let them out into the pouring rain4 ,when they were in the dismal strip of garden ,julian turned and looked up at the lit windows of the bedroom on the first story4 ,marr was lying there in the bright illumination at ease1 relieved of his soul4 ,but1 as ,julian looked1 the two windows suddenly grew dark4 ,evidently the economical landlord had hastened up1 observed the waste of the material he had to pay for1 and abruptly stopped it4 ,at the gate they called a cab4 ,no2 let us have the glass up1 ,julian said2 a drop of rain more or less doesn't matter4 ,and ,i want some air4 ,so do ,i1 said ,valentine4 ,the atmosphere of that house was abominable4 ,of course there can be no two opinions as to its character1 ,julian said4 ,of course not4 ,what a dreary place to die in6 ,yes4 ,but does it matter where one dies8 ,i think not4 ,i attach immense importance to where one lives4 ,it seems horrible to come to an end in such a place1 to have had that wretched ,frenchman as the only witness of one's death4 ,still1 ,i suppose it is only foolish sentiment4 ,valentine1 did you notice how happy ,marr looked8 ,no4 ,didn't you8 ,i thought you watched him almost as if you wondered as ,i did4 ,how could ,i8 ,i had never seen him before4 ,it was curious the landlord seeing a likeness between you and him4 ,do you think so8 ,the man naturally supposed one of us might be a relation1 as we came to see ,marr4 ,i should not suppose there could be much resemblance4 ,there is none4 ,it's impossible4 ,there can be none6 ,they rattled on towards ,piccadilly1 back through the dismal thoroughfares1 towards the asphalt ways of ,bloomsbury4 ,presently ,julian said3 ,i wish ,i had seen ,marr die4 ,but why1 ,julian8 ,why this extraordinary interest in a man you knew so slightly and for so short a time8 ,it's because ,i can't get it out of my head that he had something to do with our sittings1 more than we know4 ,impossible4 ,i am almost certain the doctor thought so4 ,i must tell him about ,marr's death4 ,valentine1 let us drive to ,harley ,street now4 ,valentine did not reply at once1 and ,julian said3 ,i will tell the cabman4 ,very well4 ,julian gave the order4 ,i wonder if he will be in1 ,julian said presently4 ,what is the time8 ,he took out his watch and held it up sideways until the light of a gas-lamp flashed on it for a moment4 ,just eleven4 ,so late8 ,i am surprised4 ,we were a good while at the ',european4' ,longer than ,i thought4 ,probably the doctor will have come in1 even if he has been out dining4 ,ah1 here we are6 ,the cab drew up4 ,julian got out and rang the bell in the rain4 ,is ,doctor ,levillier at home8 ,no1 sir4 ,he is out dining4 ,but ,i expect him every moment4 ,will you come in and wait8 said the man-servant1 who knew ,julian well4 ,thanks2 ,i think ,i will4 ,i rather want to see him4 ,i will just ask ,mr4 ,cresswell4 ,he's with me to-night4 ,julian returned to the cab1 in which ,valentine was sitting4 ,the doctor will probably be home in a few minutes4 ,let us go in and wait for him4 ,yes1 you go in4 ,but surely-- ,no1 ,julian1 ,valentine said1 and suddenly there came into his voice a weariness1 ,i am rather tired to-night4 ,i think ,i'll go home to bed4 ,oh1 ,julian said4 ,he was obviously disappointed4 ,he hesitated4 ,shall ,i come too1 old chap8 ,you're sure--you're certain that you are not feeling ill after last night8 ,he leant with his foot on the step of the cab to look at ,valentine more closely4 ,no2 ,i am all right4 ,only tired and sleepy1 ,julian4 ,well1 will you come or stay8 ,i think ,i will stay4 ,i want badly to have a talk with the doctor4 ,all right4 ,good-night4 ,good-night6 ,valentine called his address to the cabman1 and the man whipped up his horse4 ,just as the cab was turning round ,valentine leaned out over the wooden door and cried to ,julian1 who was just going into the house3 ,give my best regards to the doctor1 ,julian4 ,the cab disappeared1 splashing through the puddles4 ,julian stood still on the doorstep4 ,who said that1 ,lawler8 he asked4 ,the servant looked at him in surprise4 ,mr4 ,valentine1 sir4 ,mr4 ,valentine8 ,yes1 sir4 ,of course1 of course4 ,but his voice1 didn't--didn't you notice- ,it was ,mr4 ,valentine's usual voice1 sir1 ,lawler said1 with increasing astonishment4 ,i'm upset to-night1 ,julian muttered4 ,he went into the house and ,lawler closed the street door4 ,,chapter ,v ,,the ,,harley ,,street ,,episode ,julian was a favourite in ,harley ,street1 so ,lawler did not hesitate to show him into the doctor's very private room1--a room dedicated to ease1 and to the cultivation of a busy man's hobbies4 ,no patient ever told the sad secrets of his body here4 ,here were no medical books1 no appliances for the writing of prescriptions1 no hints of the profession of the owner4 ,several pots of growing roses gravely shadowed forth the doctor's fondness for flowers4 ,a grand piano mutely spoke of his love for music4 ,many of the books which lay about were novels2 one1 soberly dressed in a vellum binding1 being ,ouida's ,dog of ,flanders4 ,all the photographs which studded the silent chamber with a reflection of life were photographs of children1 except one4 ,that was ,valentine's4 ,the hearth1 on which a fire flashed1 was wide and had two mighty occupants1 ,rupert and ,mab1 the doctor's mastiffs1 who took their evening ease1 pillowing their huge heads upon each other's heaving bodies4 ,the ticking clock on the mantelpiece was an imitation of the ,devil ,clock of ,master ,zacharius4 ,there were no newspapers in the room4 ,that fact alone made it original4 ,a large cage of sleeping canaries was covered with a cloth4 ,the room was long and rather narrow1 the only door being at one end4 ,on the walls hung many pictures1 some of them gifts from the artists4 ,some foils lay on an ottoman in a far corner4 ,the doctor fenced admirably1 and believed in the exercise as a tonic to the muscles and a splendid drill-sergeant to the eyes4 ,as ,julian came into the room1 which was lit only by wax candles1 he could not help comparing it with the room he had just left1 in which the body of ,marr lay4 ,the atmosphere of a house is a strange thing1 and almost as definite to the mind as is an appearance to the eye4 ,a sensitive nature takes it in like a breath of fetid or of fresh air4 ,the atmosphere of the ,european ,hotel had been sinister and dreary1 as of a building consecrated to hidden deeds1 and inhabited mainly by wandering sinners4 ,this home of a great doctor was open-hearted and receptive1 frank and refined4 ,the sleeping dogs1 heaving gently in fawn-coloured beatitude1 set upon it the best hall-mark4 ,it was a house--judging at least by this room--for happy rest4 ,yet it was the abode of incessant work1 as the great world knew well4 ,this sanctum alone was the shrine of lotos-eating4 ,the doctor sometimes laughingly boasted that he had never insulted it by even so much as writing a post-card within its four walls4 ,julian stroked the dogs1 who woke to wink upon him majestically1 and sat down4 ,lawler quietly departed1 and he was left alone4 ,when he first entered the house he had been disappointed at the departure of ,valentine4 ,now he felt rather glad to have the doctor to himself for a quiet half-hour4 ,a conversation of two people is1 under certain circumstances1 more complete than a conversation of three1 however delightful the third may chance to be4 ,julian placed ,valentine before all the rest of the world4 ,nevertheless1 to-night he was glad that ,valentine had gone home to bed4 ,it seems sometimes as if affection contributes to the making of a man self-conscious4 ,julian had a vague notion that the presence of his greatest friend to-night might render him self-conscious4 ,he scarcely knew why4 ,then he looked at the mastiffs1 and wondered at the extraordinary difference between men and the companion animals whom they love and who love them4 ,what man1 however natural1 however independent and serene1 could emulate the majestic and deliberate abandon of a big dog courted and caressed by a blazing fire and a soft rug8 ,man has not the dignity of soul to be so grandly natural4 ,yet his very pert self-consciousness1 the fringed petticoats of affectation which he wears1 give him the kennel1 the collar1 the muzzle1 the whip1 weapons of power to bring the dog to subjection4 ,and ,julian1 as he watched ,rupert and ,mab wrapped in large lethargic dreams1 found himself pitying them1 as civilized man vaguely pities all other inhabitants of the round world4 ,poor old things6 ,sombre agitations were not theirs4 ,they had nothing to aim at or to fight against4 ,no devils and angels played at football with their souls4 ,their liaisons were clear1 uncomplicated by the violent mental drum-taps that set the passions marching so often at a quickstep in the wrong direction4 ,and ,julian knelt down on the hearth-rug and laid his strong young hands on their broad heads4 ,slowly they opened their veiled eyes and blinked4 ,one1 ,rupert1 struck a strict tail feebly upon the carpet in token of acquiescence and gratified goodwill4 ,mab heaved herself over until she rested more completely upon her side1 and allowed an enormous sigh to rumble through her monotonously4 ,julian enjoyed that sigh4 ,it made him for the moment an optimist1 as a happy child makes a dreary old man shivering on the edge of death an optimist4 ,dogs are blessed things4 ,that was his thought4 ,and just then the door at the end of the room opened quietly1 and ,doctor ,levillier came in1 with a cloak on and his crush-hat in his hand4 ,i am glad to see you1 ,addison1 he said4 ,the dogs shook themselves up onto their legs and laid their heads against his knees4 ,lawler1 please bring my gruel4 ,yes1 sir4 ,addison1 will you have brandy or whisky8 ,whisky1 please1 doctor4 ,lawler took his master's cloak and hat1 and the doctor came up to the fire4 ,so ,valentine has gone home to bed8 he said4 ,yes4 ,he's all right1 ,i hope8 ,yes4 ,indeed1 doctor1 ,i thought him looking more fit than usual to-day1 more alive than ,i have often seen him4 ,i noticed that last night1 when he revived from his trance4 ,it struck me very forcibly1 very forcibly indeed4 ,but you-- and the doctor's eyes were on ,julian's face--look older than your age to-night1 my boy4 ,he sat down and lit a cigar4 ,the mastiffs coiled themselves at his feet rapturously4 ,they sighed1 and he sighed too1 quietly in satisfaction4 ,he loved the one hour before midnight1 the hour of perfect rest for him4 ,putting his feet on ,rupert's back1 he went on3 ,last night's events upset you seriously1 ,i see1 young and strong though you are4 ,but the most muscular men are more often the prey of their nervous systems than most people are aware4 ,spend a few quiet days4 ,fence in the morning4 ,ride--out in the country1 not in the ,park4 ,get off your horse now and then1 tie him up at a lych-gate and sit in a village church4 ,listen to the amateur organist practising ',abide with me1' and the ',old ,hundredth1' on the ,leiblich ,gedacht and the ,dulciana1 with the bourdon on the pedals4 ,there's nothing like that for making life seem a slow stepper instead of a racer4 ,and take ,valentine with you4 ,i should like to sit with him in a church at twilight1 when the rooks were going home1 and the organ was droning4 ,ah1 well1 but ,i must not think of holidays4 ,doctor1 ,i like your prescription4 ,yes2 ,i am feeling a bit out of sorts to-night4 ,last night1 you see--and then to-day4 ,surely1 ,addison1 surely you haven't been sitting--but no1 forgive me4 ,i've got your promise4 ,well1 what is it8 ,julian replied quickly3 ,that man ,i told you about1 ,marr1 is dead4 ,doctor ,levillier looked decidedly startled4 ,julian's frequent allusions to ,marr and evident strange interest in the man1 had impressed him as it had impressed ,valentine4 ,however1 he only said3 ,heart disease8 ,i don't know4 ,there is going to be an inquest4 ,when did he die8 ,last night1 or rather at four in the morning2 just as ,valentine came out of his trance1 it must have been4 ,don't you remember the clock striking8 ,certainly1 ,i do4 ,but why do you connect the two circumstances8 ,doctor1 how can you tell that ,i do8 ,by your expression1 the tone of your voice4 ,you are right4 ,somehow ,i can't help connecting them4 ,i told ,valentine so to-night4 ,he has been with me to see ,marr's body4 ,you have just come from that deathbed now8 ,yes4 ,julian sketched rapidly the events of the ,european ,hotel1 but he left to the last the immense impression made upon him by the expression of the dead man4 ,he looked so happy1 so good1 that at first ,i could not recognize him1 he said4 ,his face1 dead1 was the most absolutely direct contradiction possible of his face1 alive4 ,he was not the same man4 ,the man was gone1 you see1 ,addison4 ,yes4 ,but1 then1 what was it which remained to work this change in the body8 ,death gives a strange calm4 ,the relaxing of sinews1 the droop of limbs and features1 the absolute absence of motion1 of breathing1 work up an impression4 ,but there was something more here1--more than peace4 ,there was a--well1 a strong happiness and a goodness4 ,and ,marr had always struck me as an atrociously bad lot4 ,i think ,i told you4 ,the doctor sat musing4 ,lawler came in with the tray1 on which was a small basin of gruel and soda-water bottles1 a decanter of whisky1 and a tall tumbler4 ,julian mixed himself a drink1 and the doctor1 still meditatively1 took the basin of gruel onto his knees4 ,as he sipped it1 he looked a strange1 little1 serious ascetic1 sitting there in the light from the wax candles1 his shining boots planted gently on the broad back of the slumbering mastiff1 his light eyes fixed on the fire4 ,he did not speak again until he was half way through his gruel4 ,then he said3 ,and you know absolutely nothing of ,marr's past history8 ,no2 nothing4 ,i gather from all you have told me that it would be worthy of study4 ,if ,i knew it ,i might understand the startling change from the aspect of evil to the aspect of good at death4 ,i believe the man must have been far less evil than you thought him1 for dead faces express something that was always latent1 if not known1 in the departed natures4 ,ignorantly1 you possibly attributed to ,marr a nature far more horrible than he ever really possessed4 ,but ,julian answered3 ,i feel absolutely convinced that at the time ,i knew him he was one of the greatest rips1 one of the most merciless men in ,london4 ,i never felt about any man as ,i did about him6 ,and he impressed others in the same way4 ,i wish ,i had seen him1 ,doctor ,levillier said4 ,an idea1 suggested by ,julian's last remark1 suddenly struck him4 ,he conveyed a strong impression of evil1 you say8 ,yes4 ,how8 ,in what way1 exactly8 ,julian hesitated4 ,it's difficult to say1 he answered4 ,awfully difficult to put such a thing into words4 ,he interested me4 ,i felt that he had a great power of intellect1 or of will1 or something4 ,but in every way he suggested a bad1 a damnably bad1 character4 ,a woman said to me once about him that it was like an emanation4 ,ah6 ,the doctor finished his gruel and put down the basin on the table beside him4 ,by the way1 where did ,marr live8 ,anywhere in my direction8 ,would he1 for instance1 go home from ,piccadilly1 or the theatres1 by ,regent ,street8 ,i don't know at all where he lived4 ,have you ever seen him with animals1--with dogs1 for instance8 ,no4 ,if he had been as evil as you suppose1 any dog would have avoided him4 ,well1 but dogs avoid perfection too4 ,hardly1 ,addison4 ,but ,rip and ,valentine6 ,the remark struck the doctor2 that was obvious4 ,he pushed his right foot slowly backwards and forwards on ,rupert's back1 rucking up the dog's loose skin in heavy folds4 ,yes1 he said2 ,rip is rather an inexplicable beggar4 ,but do you mean to tell me he hasn't got over his horror of ,valentine to-day8 ,this afternoon he was worse than ever4 ,if ,valentine had touched him1 ,i believe he would have gone half mad4 ,i had to put him out of the room4 ,h'm6 ,isn't it unaccountable8 ,i must say that it is4 ,dogs are such faithful wretches4 ,if ,rupert and ,mab were to turn against me like that ,i believe it would strike at my heart more fiercely than the deed of any man could4 ,he bent down and ran his hand over ,rupert's heaving back4 ,the cheap satirist1 he said1 is forever comparing the fickleness of men with the faithfulness of animals1 but ,i don't mean to do that4 ,i have a great belief in some human natures1 and there are many men whom ,i could1 and would1 implicitly trust4 ,there is one1 doctor1 whom we both know4 ,cresswell4 ,yes4 ,i could trust him through thick and thin4 ,and yet his own dog flies at him4 ,doctor ,levillier returned to that fact1 as if it puzzled him so utterly that he could not dismiss it from his mind4 ,there must be some curious1 subtle reason for that1 he said2 yet with all my intimate and affectionate knowledge of dogs ,i cannot divine it4 ,watch ,rip carefully when he is not with ,cresswell4 ,look after his health4 ,notice if he seems natural and happy4 ,does he eat as usual8 ,rather4 ,he did to-day4 ,and he seems contented with you8 ,quite4 ,well1 all ,i can say is1 that ,rip doesn't seem to possess a dog nature4 ,he is uncanny4 ,uncanny1 ,julian said1 seizing on the word4 ,but everything has become uncanny within the last few days4 ,upon my word1 when ,i look back into the past of1 say1 a fortnight ago1 ,i ask myself whether ,i am a fool1 or dreaming1 or whether my health is going to the deuce4 ,london seems different4 ,i look on things strangely4 ,i fancy1 ,i imagine-- ,he broke off4 ,then he said3 ,by ,jove1 doctor1 if half the men ,i know at ,white's could see into my mind they would think me fitted for a lunatic asylum4 ,it doesn't matter to you what half the men1 or the whole of the men at ,white's think1 so long as you keep a cool head and a good heart4 ,but it is as you say4 ,you and ,valentine have run1 as a train runs into the ,black ,country1 into an unwholesome atmosphere4 ,in a day or two probably your lungs1 which have drawn it in1 will expel it again4 ,he smiled rather whimsically4 ,then he said3 ,you know1 ,addison1 men talk of their strength1 and are inclined to call women nervous creatures1 but the nerves play tricks among male muscles4 ,yes1 you want the foils1 the bicycle1 the droning organ1 and the village church4 ,i advise you to go out of town for a week4 ,forget ,marr1 a queer fish evidently1 with possibly a power of mesmerism4 ,and don't ask ,valentine to go away with you4 ,the last remark surprised ,julian4 ,but why not8 he asked4 ,merely because he is intimately connected with the events that have turned you out of your usual1 your right course4 ,i see that your mind is moving in a rather narrow circle1 which contains1 besides yourself1 two people only1 ,marr and ,cresswell4 ,darkness and light4 ,yes1 it's true4 ,how rotten of me1 ,julian exclaimed1 like a schoolboy4 ,i'm like a squirrel in a cage1 going round and round4 ,that's just it4 ,valentine and ,marr are in that cursed circle of our sittings1 and so ,i insanely connect them with one another4 ,i actually began to think to-night that ,marr died1 poor fellow1 because--well-- ,yes4 ,oh1 it's too ridiculous1 that his death had something to do with our last sitting4 ,supposing1 as you say1 he had a hypnotic power of any kind4 ,could--could its exercise cause injury to his health8 ,but the doctor ignored the question in his quiet and yet very complete and self-possessed manner4 ,marr and ,cresswell never met1 he said4 ,it is folly to connect them together4 ,it is1 as you said1 and he laughed1 rotten of you4 ,go away to-morrow4 ,i will1 you autocratic doctor4 ,what fee do ,i owe you8 ,your friendship1 my boy4 ,dr4 ,levillier sat lower in his chair1 and they smoked in silence1 both of them revelling in the warm peace and the ease of this night-hour4 ,since he had come into the ,harley ,street house ,julian had been much happier4 ,his perturbation had gradually evaporated until now scarcely a vestige of it remained4 ,the little doctor's talk1 above all the sight of his calm1 thoughtful face and the aspect of his calm1 satisfied room1 gave the coup de grce to the uneasiness of a spurious and ill-omened excitement4 ,when the power of wide medical knowledge is joined to the power of goodness and of umbrageous intellectuality1 a doctor is1 among all men1 the man to lay the ghosts that human nature is perpetually at the pains to set walking in their shrouds to cause alarm4 ,all ,julian's ghosts were laid4 ,he smoked on and grew to feel perfectly natural and comfortable4 ,the dogs echoed and emphasized all the healing power of their small and elderly master4 ,as they lay sleeping1 a tangle of large limbs and supine strength1 the fire shone over them till their fawn-coloured coats gleamed almost like satin touched with gold4 ,the delightful sanctity of unmeasured confidence1 unmeasured satisfaction1 sang in their gentle and large-hearted snores1 which rose and fell with the regularity of waves of the sea4 ,now and then one of them slowly stretched a leg or expanded the toes of a foot1 as if intent on presenting a larger surface of sensation to the embrace of comfort and of affection4 ,and they1 so it seemed to ,julian1 kept the pleasant silence now come into existence between him and the doctor alive4 ,that silence rested him immensely4 ,in it the two cigars diminished steadily1 steadily as the length of a man's life1 but glowing to the very end4 ,and the grey ashes dropped away of their own accord1 and ,julian's mind shed its grey ashes too and glowed serenely4 ,the dogs expanded their warm bodies on the hearth1 and his nature expanded in a vague1 wide-stretching generosity of mute evening emotion4 ,how comfortable this is1 doctor1 he murmured at last4 ,yes4 ,it's a good hour1 the doctor replied1 letting the words go slowly from his lips4 ,i wish ,i could give to all the poor creatures in this city just one good hour4 ,they smoked their cigars out4 ,i ought to go1 ,julian said lazily4 ,no4 ,have one more4 ,i know it is dangerous to prolong a pleasure4 ,it loses its savour4 ,but ,i think1 ,addison1 to-night1 you and ,i can get no harm from the experiment4 ,he handed ,julian the cigar-box4 ,we won't stir up the dogs for another half-hour1 he added1 looking at their happiness with a shining satisfaction4 ,here are the matches4 ,light up4 ,julian obeyed1 and they began the delightful era of the second cigar1 and sank a little deeper down1 surely1 into serenity and peace4 ,occasional coals dropping into the fender with a hot tick1 tick1 chirrupped a lullaby to the four happy companions4 ,and the men learnt a fine silence from the fine silence of the dogs4 ,half way through the second cigar ,rupert shifted under his master's patent-leather boots and raised his huge head4 ,his eyes blinked out of their sleep1 then ceased to blink and became attentive4 ,then his ears1 which had been lying down on each side of his head in the suavest attitude which such features of a dog can assume1 lifted themselves up and pointed grimly forward as he listened to something4 ,his flaccid legs contracted under him1 and the muscles of his back quivered4 ,mab1 less readily alert1 quickly caught the infection of his attention1 rolled over out of her sideways position and couched beside him4 ,the movement of the dogs was not congenial to the doctor4 ,rupert's curious back1 alert under his feet1 communicated an immediate sense of disquiet to the very centre of his being4 ,he said to ,julian3 ,the acuteness of animal senses has its drawbacks4 ,these dogs must have heard some sound in the street that is entirely inaudible to us4 ,well1 ,rupert1 what is it8 ,lie down again and go to sleep4 ,stooping forward he put his hand on the dog's neck1 and gave him a push1 expecting him to yield readily1 and tumble over onto the warm rug to sleep once more4 ,but ,rupert resisted his hand1 and instead1 got up1 and stood at attention4 ,mab immediately followed his example4 ,what are they after1 doctor8 said ,julian4 ,as he spoke a bell rang in the house4 ,nemesis for prolonging the pleasure1 ,levillier said4 ,a summons to a patient1 no doubt4 ,as if in reply to the twitter of the bell1 ,rupert sprang forward and barked4 ,he remained beside the door1 waiting1 while ,mab barked too1 nearer the fire4 ,the bell sounded again1 and the footstep of ,lawler1 who always sat up as late as his master1 was heard on the stairs from the servants' part of the house4 ,it passed them on its errand to the front door1 but during its passage the excitement of the two dogs rapidly increased4 ,they began to bark furiously and to bristle4 ,i never saw them like this before1 the doctor said1 not without anxiety4 ,as he spoke ,lawler opened the hall door4 ,they heard the latch go and the faint voice of somebody in colloquy with him4 ,for the dogs were now abruptly silent1 but displayed the most curious savage intentness1 showing their teeth1 and standing each by the door as if sentinels on guard4 ,the colloquy ceasing1 steps again sounded in the hall1 but more than ,lawler's4 ,evidently the man was returning towards the room accompanied by somebody from the street4 ,the doctor was keenly observing the mastiffs1 and just as ,lawler's hand struck upon the handle of the door to turn it1 he suddenly called out sharply3 ,lawler1 you are not to open the door6 ,and as he called1 the doctor ran forward between the two dogs and caught their collars in his two hands4 ,they tugged and leaped to get away1 but he held on4 ,the surprised voice of the obedient ,lawler was heard on the hither side of the door1 saying3 ,i beg your pardon1 sir4 ,the doctor said hastily to ,julian3 ,these dogs will tear the person who has just come into the house to pieces if we don't take care4 ,catch on to ,mab1 ,addison4 ,julian obeyed1 and the dog was like live iron with determination under his grasp4 ,some one is with you1 ,lawler1 the doctor said4 ,does he wish to see me8 ,if you please1 sir1 it is ,mr4 ,cresswell1 ,mr4 ,valentine come back for ,mr4 ,addison4 ,julian felt himself go suddenly pale4 ,,chapter ,,vi ,,the ,,strength ,,of ,,the ,,spring ,rather reluctantly1 ,julian acted on the advice of ,doctor ,levillier and went out of town for a week on the following day4 ,he took his way to the sea1 and tried to feel normal in a sailing-boat with a gnarled and corrugated old salt for his only companion4 ,but his success was only partial1 for while his body gave itself to the whisper of the ungoverned breezes1 while his hands held the ropes1 and his eyes watched the subtle proceedings of the weather1 and his ears listened to the serial stories of the waves1 and to the conversational peregrinations of his ,ancient ,mariner about the ,china ,seas in bygone days1 his mind was still in ,london1 still busily concerned itself with the very things that should now undergo a sea change and vanish in ozone4 ,recent events oppressed him1 to the occasional undoing of the old salt1 well accustomed to the seasick reverence of his despairing clients on board the ,star of the ,sea4 ,when the mind of a man has once fallen into the habit of prancing in a circle like a circus horse1 it is difficult to drive it back into the public streets1 to make it trot serenely forward in its ordinary ways4 ,and ,julian had with him a ring-master in the person of the ignorant ,rip4 ,whenever his eyes fell on ,rip1 curled uneasily in the bottom of the swinging boat1 he went at a tangent back to ,harley ,street1 and the strange finale of his evening with the doctor4 ,it had been a curious tableau divided by a door4 ,levillier and he stood on one side tugging mightily at the intent mastiffs1 which strained at their collars1 dropping beads of foam from their grinning jaws1 savages1 instead of calm companions4 ,on the other side1 in the hall1 ,lawler and ,valentine paused in amazement1 and a colloquy shot to and fro through the wooden barrier4 ,on hearing the name of ,valentine mentioned by the butler1 the doctor had cast an instant glance of unbounded amazement upon ,julian4 ,and ,julian had returned it1 feeling in his heart the dawning of an inexplicable trouble4 ,is anything the matter8 ,valentine's voice had asked4 ,no1 said the doctor in reply4 ,but please go into the dining-room4 ,we will come to you there4 ,and ,lawler-- ,yes1 sir4 ,when you have shown ,mr4 ,cresswell to the dining-room1 be careful to shut the door1 and to keep it shut till ,i come4 ,yes1 sir4 ,the butler's well-trained voice had vibrated with surprise and ,julian had found himself mechanically smiling as he noted this4 ,then the footsteps of servant and visitor had retreated4 ,presently a door was heard to shut4 ,lawler returned1 and was passing discreetly by1 to wonder1 in his pantry1 if his master had gone mad1 when the doctor again called to him4 ,go downstairs1 ,lawler1 and in a moment ,i shall bring the dogs to you4 ,yes1 sir4 ,the butler's voice was now almost shrill with scarcely governable astonishment1 and his footsteps seemed to tremble uneasily upon the stairs as he retired4 ,then the doctor went to a corner of the room and took down from a hook a whip with a heavy thong4 ,i haven't had to use this since they were both puppies1 he said1 with a side glance at the dogs4 ,now1 ,addison1 keep hold of ,mab and go in front of me down the servants' stairs4 ,if the dogs once get out of hand we shall have trouble in the house to-night4 ,the door was opened1 and then a veritable affray began4 ,the animals seemed half mad4 ,they tore at their collars1 and struggled furiously to break loose1 snarling and even snapping1 their great heads turned in the direction of the dining-room4 ,the doctor1 firmest as well as kindest of men1 recognized necessity1 and used the whip unsparingly1 lashing the animals through the door to the servants' quarters1 and down the stairs4 ,it was a violent procession to the lower regions4 ,julian could not get it out of his head4 ,entangled among the leaping dogs on the narrow stairway1 he had a sense of whirling in the eddies of a stream1 driven from this side to the other4 ,his arms were nearly pulled out of their sockets4 ,the shriek of the lash curling over and around the dogs1 the dim vision of the doctor's compressed lips and eyes full of unaccustomed fire1 the damp foam on his hands as he rocked from one wall to the other1 amid a dull music of growls1 and fierce1 low barks1 came back to him now as he trimmed the sails to catch the undecided winds1 or felt the tiller leap under his hold4 ,each moment he had expected to be bitten1 but somehow they all tumbled together unhurt into ,lawler's pantry1 where they found that factotum standing grim and wire-strung with anticipation4 ,beyond the pantry were the dogs' night quarters1 and they were quickly driven into them and shut up4 ,but they still bounded and beat against the door1 and presently began to howl a vain chorale4 ,lord1 ,lord1 sir6 what's come to them8 ,lawler exclaimed4 ,his fat face had become as white as a sheet1 and the doctor was scarcely less pale as he leaned against the dresser1 whip in hand1 drawing panting breaths4 ,i can't tell4 ,they will be all right in a minute4 ,he pulled himself up4 ,go to bed now if you like1 ,lawler1 he said1 rather abruptly4 ,come1 ,addison4 ,they regained the hall1 and made their way to ,valentine4 ,he was sitting by the dining-table in a watchful attitude1 and sprang hastily up as they came in4 ,my dear doctor1 he said1 what a pandemonium6 ,i nearly came to your assistance4 ,it's very lucky you didn't1 ,cresswell1 the doctor answered1 almost grimly4 ,why8 ,because if you had you might chance to be a dead man by this time4 ,out on the sea1 under the streaming clouds that fled before the wind1 ,julian recalled the strange terseness of that reply1 and the perhaps stranger silence that followed it4 ,for ,valentine had made no comment1 had asked for no explanation4 ,he had simply dropped the subject1 and the three men had remained together for a few minutes1 constrained and ill at ease4 ,then the doctor had said3 ,let us go back now to my room4 ,valentine and he assented1 and got upon their feet to follow him1 but when he opened the door there came up from the servants' quarters the half-strangled howling of the mastiffs4 ,involuntarily ,dr4 ,levillier paused to listen1 his hand behind his ear4 ,then he turned to the young men1 and held out his right hand4 ,good-night1 he said4 ,i must go down to them1 or there will be a summons applied for against me in the morning by one of my neighbours4 ,and they let themselves out while he retreated once more down the stairs4 ,the drive home had been a silent one4 ,only when ,julian was bidding ,valentine good-night had he found a tongue to say to his friend3 ,the devil's in all this1 ,valentine4 ,and ,valentine had merely nodded with a smile and driven off4 ,now1 in the sea solitude that was to be a medicine to his soul1 ,julian went round and round in his mental circus1 treading ever the same saw dust under foot1 hearing ever the same whip crack to send him forward4 ,his isolation bent him upon himself1 and the old salt's hoarse murmurings of the ,chiney seas in no way drew him to a healthier outlook4 ,why ,valentine returned for him that night he did not know4 ,that might have been merely the prompting of a vagrant impulse4 ,julian cursed that impulse1 on account of the circumstances to which it directly led2 for there was a peculiar strain of enmity in them which had affected1 and continued to affect1 him most disagreeably4 ,to behold the instinctive hostility of another towards a person whom one loves is offensively grotesque to the observer1 and at moments ,julian hated the doctor's mastiffs1 and even hated the unconscious ,rip1 who lay1 in a certain shivering discomfort and apprehension1 seeking sleep with the determination of sorrow4 ,there are things1 feelings1 and desires1 which should surely be kicked out of men and dogs4 ,such a thing1 beyond doubt1 was a savage hatred of ,valentine4 ,what prompted it1 and whence it came1 were merely mysteries1 which the dumbness of dogs must forever sustain4 ,but what specially plunged ,julian into concern was the latent fear that ,dr4 ,levillier might echo the repulsion of his dogs and come to look upon ,valentine with different eyes4 ,julian's fine jealousy for his friend sharpened his faculties of observation and of deduction1 and he had observed the little doctor's dry reception of ,valentine after the struggle on the stairs1 and his eager dismissal of them both to the street door on the howling excuse that rose up from the basement4 ,such a mood might probably be transient1 and only engendered by the fatigue of excitement1 or even by the physical exhaustion attendant upon the preservation of ,valentine from the rage of ,rupert and ,mab4 ,julian told himself that to dwell upon it1 or to conceive of it as permanent1 was neither sensible nor acute1 considering his intimate knowledge of the doctor's nature1 and of his firm friendship for ,valentine4 ,that he did continue most persistently to dwell upon it1 and with a keen suspicion1 must be due to the present desolation of his circumstances1 and to the vain babble of the blue-coated ,methuselah1 whose intellect roamed incessantly through a marine past1 peopled with love episodes of a somewhat ,rabelaisian character4 ,at the end of five days ,julian abruptly threw up the sponge and returned to ,london1 abandoning the old salt to the tobacco-chewing1 which was his only solace during the winter season1 now fast drawing to a close4 ,he went at once to see ,valentine1 who had a narrative to tell him concerning ,marr4 ,you have probably read all about ,marr in the papers8 he asked1 when he met ,julian4 ,the question came at once with his hand-grasp4 ,no1 ,julian said4 ,i shunted the papers1 tried to give myself up entirely to the sea1 as the doctor advised4 ,what has there been8 ,oh1 a good deal4 ,i may as well tell it to you1 or no doubt ,lady ,crichton will4 ,people exaggerate so much4 ,why--what is there to exaggerate about8 ,the inquest was held1 ,valentine answered4 ,and every effort was made to find the woman who came with ,marr to the hotel and evaporated so mysteriously1 but there was no one to identify her4 ,the ,frenchman had not noticed her features1 and the housemaid1 as you remember1 was a fool1 and could only say she was a common-looking person4 ,well1 ,julian said1 rather eagerly1 but what was the cause of death8 ,that was entirely obscure4 ,the body seemed healthy--at least the various organs were sound4 ,there was no obvious reason for death1 and the verdict was1 simply1 ',died from failure of the heart's action4' ,vague1 but comprehensive4 ,yes2 ,i suppose we shall all die strictly from the same cause4 ,and that is all8 ,not quite4 ,it appears that a description of the dead man got into the papers and that he was identified by his wife1 who read the account in some remote part of the country1 took the train to town1 and found that ,marr was1 as she suspected1 the man whom she had married1 from whom she had separated1 and whose real name was ,wilson1 the ,wilson of a notorious newspaper case4 ,do you remember it8 ,what1 an action against a husband for gross cruelty1 for incredible1 unspeakable inhumanity--some time ago8 ,yes4 ,the wife got a judicial separation4 ,and that is the history of ,marr8 ,that is1 such of his history as is known1 ,valentine said in his calm voice4 ,while he had been speaking his blue eyes had always been fixed on ,julian's face4 ,when ,julian looked up they were withdrawn4 ,i always had a feeling that ,marr was secretly a wretch1 a devil1 ,julian said now4 ,it seems ,i was right4 ,what has become of the wife8 ,i suppose she has gone back to her country home4 ,probably she is happy4 ,her first mate chastised her with whips4 ,to fulfil her destiny as a woman she ought now to seek another who is fond of scorpions4 ,women are strange1 ,julian said1 voluptuously generalizing after the manner of young men4 ,valentine leaned forward as if the sentence stirred some depth in his mind and roused him to a certain excitement4 ,julian1 he exclaimed1 are you and ,i wasting our lives1 do you think8 ,since you have been away ,i have thought again over our conversation before we had our first sitting4 ,do you remember it8 ,yes1 ,valentine4 ,you said then ,i had held you back from so much4 ,yes4 ,and ,i have been asking myself whether ,i have not1 perhaps1 held you back1 held myself back1 from all that is worth having in life4 ,julian looked troubled4 ,from all that is not worth having1 old boy1 he said4 ,but he looked troubled4 ,when ,valentine spoke like this he felt as a man who stands at a garden gate and gazes out into the world1 and is stirred with a thrill of anticipation and of desire to leap out from the green and shadowy close1 where trees are and flowers1 into the dust and heat where passion hides as in a nest1 and unspoken things lie warm4 ,julian was vaguely afraid of himself4 ,it is dangerous to lean on any one1 however strong4 ,having met ,valentine on the threshold of life1 ,julian had never learned to walk alone4 ,he trusted another1 instead of trusting himself4 ,he had never forged his own sword4 ,when ,siegfried sang at his anvil he sang a song of all the greatness of life4 ,julian was notably strong as to his muscles4 ,he had arms of iron1 and the blood raced in his veins1 but he had never forged his sword4 ,mistrust of himself was as a phantom that walked with him unless ,valentine drove it away4 ,i thought you had got over that absurd feeling1 ,val1 he said4 ,i thought you were content with your soul4 ,i think ,i have ceased to be content1 said ,valentine4 ,perhaps ,i have stolen a fragment of your nature1 ,julian1 in those dark nights in the tentroom4 ,since you have been away ,i have wondered4 ,an extraordinary sensation of bodily strength1 of enormous vigour1 has come to me4 ,and ,i want to test the sensation1 to see if it is founded upon fact4 ,he was sitting in a low chair1 and as he spoke he slowly stretched his limbs4 ,it was as if all his body yawned1 waking from sleep4 ,but how8 ,julian asked4 ,already he looked rather interested than troubled4 ,at ,valentine's words he too became violently conscious of his own strength1 and stirred by the wonder of youth dwelling in him4 ,how8 ,that is what ,i wish to find out by going into the world with different eyes4 ,i have been living in the arts1 ,julian4 ,but is that living at all8 ,julian got up and stood by the fire4 ,valentine excited him4 ,he leaned one arm on the mantelpiece4 ,his right hand kept closing and unclosing as he talked4 ,such a life is natural to you1 he said4 ,and you have made me love it4 ,i sometimes wonder1 responded ,valentine1 whether ,i have not trained my head to slay my heart4 ,men of intellect are often strangely inhuman4 ,besides1 what you call my purity and my refinement are due perhaps to my cowardice4 ,i am called the ,saint of ,victoria ,street because ,i live in a sort of ,london cloister with you for my companion1 and in the cloister ,i read or ,i give myself up to music1 and ,i hang my walls with pictures1 and ,i wonder at the sins of men1 and ,i believe ,i am that deadly thing1 a ,pharisee4 ,but you are perfectly tolerant4 ,am ,i8 ,i often find myself sneering at the follies of others1 at what ,i call their coarsenesses1 their wallowing in the mire4 ,it is wallowing4 ,and which is most human1 the man who drives in a carriage1 or the man who walks sturdily along the road1 and gets the mud on his boots1 and lets the rain fall on him and the wind be his friend8 ,i suspect it is a fine thing to be out unsheltered in a storm1 ,julian4 ,julian's dark eyes were glowing4 ,valentine spoke with an unusual1 almost with an electric warmth1 and ,julian was conscious of drawing very near to him tonight4 ,always in their friendship1 hitherto1 he had thought of ,valentine as of one apart1 walking at a distance from all men1 even from him4 ,and he had believed most honestly that this very detachment had drawn him to ,valentine more than to any other human being4 ,but to-night he began suddenly to feel that to be actually side by side with his friend would be a very glorious thing4 ,he could never hope to walk perpetually upon the vestal heights4 ,if ,valentine did really come down towards the valley1 what then8 ,just at first the idea had shocked him4 ,now he began almost to wish that it might be so1 to feel that he was shaking hands with ,valentine more brotherly than ever before4 ,extremes are wrong1 desolate1 abominable1 ,i begin to think1 ,valentine went on4 ,angel and devil1 both should be scourged--the one to be purged of excessive good1 the other of excessive evil1 and between them1 midway1 is man1 natural man4 ,julian1 you are natural man1 and you are more right than ,i1 who1 it seems1 have been educating you by presenting to you for contemplation my own disease4 ,well1 but is natural man worth much8 ,that is the question6 ,i don't know4 ,he fights1 and drinks1 and loves1 and1 oftener than the renowned philosopher thinks1 he knows how to die4 ,and then he lives thoroughly1 and that is probably what we were sent into the world to do4 ,can't we live thoroughly without1 say1 the fighting and the drinking1 ,val8 ,valentine got up1 too1 as if excited1 and stood by the fire by ,julian's side4 ,battle calls forth heroism1 he said1 which else would sleep4 ,and drinking8 ,leads to good fellowship4 ,this last remark was so preposterously unlike ,valentine that ,julian could not for a moment accept it as uttered seriously4 ,his mood changed1 and he burst out suddenly into a laugh4 ,you have been taking me in all the time1 he exclaimed1 and ,i actually was fool enough to think you serious4 ,and to agree with what ,i was saying8 ,valentine still spoke quite gravely and earnestly1 and ,julian began to be puzzled4 ,you know ,i can never help agreeing with you when you really mean anything1 he began4 ,i have proved so often that you are always right in the end4 ,so your real theory of life must be the true one3 but your real theory1 ,i know1 is to reject what most people run after4 ,no longer that1 ,i fancy1 ,julian4 ,but1 then1 what has changed you8 ,valentine met his eyes calmly4 ,i don't know1 he said4 ,do you8 ,i8 ,how should ,i8 ,perhaps this change has been growing within me for a long while4 ,it is difficult to say2 but to-night my nature culminates4 ,i am at a point1 ,julian4 ,then you have climbed to it4 ,don't you want to stay there8 ,no mere man can face the weather on a mountain peak forever1 and life lies rather in the plains4 ,valentine went over to the window and touched the blind4 ,it shot up1 leaving the naked window1 through which the gas-lamps of ,victoria ,street stared in the night4 ,i wish1 he said1 that we1 in ,england1 had the flat roofs of the ,east4 ,he thrust up the glass1 and the night air pushed in4 ,come here1 ,julian1 he said4 ,julian obeyed1 wondering rather4 ,valentine leaned a little out on the sill and made ,julian lean beside him4 ,it was early in the night and the hum of ,london was yet loud1 for the bees did not sleep1 but were still busy in their monstrous hive4 ,there was already a gentleness of spring among the discoloured houses4 ,spring will not be denied1 even among men who dwell in flats4 ,the cabs hurried past1 and pedestrians went by in twos and threes or solitary2 soldiers walking vaguely1 seeking cheap pleasures1 or more gaily with adoring maidens2 tired business men2 journeying towards ,victoria ,station2 a desolate shop-girl1 in dreary virtue defiant of mankind1 but still unblessed2 the ,noah's ark figure of a policeman1 tramping emptily1 standing wearily by turns1 to keep public order4 ,lights starred here and there the long line of mansions opposite4 ,i often look out here at night1 ,valentine said1 generally to wonder why people live as they do4 ,when ,i see the soldiers going by1 for instance1 ,i have often marvelled that they could find any pleasure in the servants1 so often ugly1 who hang on their arms1 and languish persistently at them under cheap hats and dyed feathers4 ,and ,i gaze at the policeman on his beat and pity him for the dead routine in which he stalks1 seldom varied by the sordid capture of a starving cracksman1 or the triumphant seizure of an unmuzzled dog4 ,the boys selling evening papers seem to me imps of desolation1 screaming through life aimlessly for halfpence2 and the cabmen1 creatures driving for ever to stations1 yet never able to get into the wide world4 ,and yet they are all living1 ,julian2 that is the thing3 all having their experiences1 all in strong touch with humanity4 ,the newspaper-boy has got his flower-girl to give him grimy kisses2 and the cabman is proud of the shine on his harness2 and the soldier glories in his military faculty of seduction1 and in his quick capacity for getting drunk in the glittering gin-palace at the corner of the street2 and the policeman hopes to take some one up1 and to be praised by a magistrate2 and in those houses opposite intrigues are going on1 and jealousy is being born1 and men and women are quarrelling over trifles and making it up again1 and children--what matter if legitimate or illegitimate8--are cooing and crying1 and boys are waking to the turmoil of manhood1 and girls are dreaming of the things they dare not pretend to know4 ,why should ,i be like a bird hovering over it all8 ,why should not ,i--and you--be in it8 ,if ,i can only cease to be as ,i have always been1 ,i can recreate ,london for myself1 and make it a live city1 fearing neither its vices nor its tears4 ,i have made you fear them1 ,julian4 ,i have done you an injury4 ,let us be quiet1 and feel the rustle of spring over the gas-lamps1 and hear the pulsing of the hearts around us4 ,he put his arm through ,julian's as they leaned out on the sill of the window1 and to ,julian his arm was like a line of living fire1 compelling that which touched it to a speechless fever of excitement4 ,was this man ,valentine8 ,julian's pulses throbbed and hammered as he looked upon the street1 and he seemed to see all the passers-by with eyes from which scales had fallen4 ,if to die should be nothing to the wise man1 to live should be much4 ,underneath1 two drunken men passed1 embracing each other by the shoulders4 ,they sang in1 snatches and hiccoughed protestations of eternal friendship4 ,valentine watched their wavering course with no disgust4 ,his blue eyes even seemed to praise them as they went4 ,those men are more human than ,i1 he slowly said4 ,why should ,i condemn them8 ,and1 as if under the influence of a spell1 ,julian found himself thinking of the wandering ruffians as fine fellows1 full of warmth of heart and generous feeling4 ,a boy and girl went by4 ,neither could have been more than sixteen years old4 ,they paused by a lamp-post1 and the girl openly kissed the boy4 ,he sturdily endured the compliment1 staring firmly at her pale cheeks and tired eyes4 ,then the girl walked away1 and he stood alone till she was out of sight4 ,eventually he walked off slowly1 singing a plantation song3 ,i want you1 my honey2 yes1 ,i do6 ,valentine and ,julian had watched and listened1 and now ,valentine1 moving round on the window-ledge till he faced ,julian1 said3 ,that is it1 ,julian1 put in the straightforward music-hall way4 ,people are happy because they want things2 yes1 they do4 ,it is a philosophy of life4 ,that boy has a life because he wants that girl1 and she wants him4 ,and you1 ,julian1 you want a thousand things-- ,not since ,i have known you1 ,julian said4 ,he felt curiously excited and troubled4 ,his arm was still linked in ,valentine's4 ,slowly he withdrew it4 ,valentine shut down the window and they came back to the fire4 ,you know1 ,valentine said1 that it is possible for two influences to work one upon the other1 and for each to convert the other4 ,i begin to think that your nature has triumphed over mine4 ,what8 ,julian said1 in frank amazement4 ,the ,philistines could not have been more astounded when ,samson pulled down the pillars4 ,i have taught you1 as you say1 to die to the ordinary man's life1 ,julian4 ,but what if you have taught me to live to it8 ,julian did not answer for a moment4 ,he was wondering whether ,valentine could possibly be serious4 ,but his face was serious1 even eager4 ,there was an unwonted stain of red on his smooth1 usually pale cheeks4 ,a certain wild boyishness had stolen over him1 a reckless devil danced in his blue eyes4 ,julian caught the infection of his mood4 ,and what's my lesson8 ,julian said4 ,his voice sounded thick and harsh4 ,there was a surge of blood through his brain and a prickly heat behind his eyeballs4 ,suddenly a notion took him that ,valentine had never been so magnificent as now1--now when a new fierceness glittered in his expression1 and a wild wave of humanity ran through him like a surging tide4 ,what's my lesson1 ,valentine8 ,i will show you1 this spring4 ,but it is the lesson the spring teaches1 the lesson of fulfilling your nature1 of waking from your slumbers1 of finding the air1 of giving yourself to the rifling fingers of the sun1 of yielding all your scent to others1 and of taking all their scent to you4 ,that's the lesson of your strength1 ,julian1 and of all the strength of the spring4 ,lie out in the showers1 and let the clouds cover you with shadows1 and listen to the song of every bird1 and--and--ah6 he suddenly broke off in a burst of laughter1 ,i am rhapsodizing4 ,the spring has got into my veins even among these chimneypots of ,london4 ,the spring is in me1 and1 who knows8 your soul1 ,julian4 ,for don't you feel wild blood in your veins sometimes8 ,yes1 yes4 ,and humming passions that come to you and lift you from your feet8 ,you know ,i do4 ,but ,i never knew before that they might lift you towards heaven4 ,that's the thing4 ,i have thought that the exercise of the passions dragged a man down2 but why should it be so8 ,i have talked of men wallowing in the mire4 ,i must find out whether ,i have been lying when ,i said that4 ,julian1 this spring1 you and ,i will see the world1 at any rate1 with open eyes4 ,we will watch the budding and blossoming of the souls around us1 the flowers in the garden of life4 ,we will not be indifferent or afraid4 ,i have been a coward in my ice prison of refinement4 ,i keep a perpetual season of winter round me4 ,i know it4 ,i know it to-night4 ,julian did not speak4 ,he was carried away by this outburst1 which gained so much1 and so strange1 force by its issue from the lips and from the heart of ,valentine4 ,but he was carried away as a weak swimmer by a resistless torrent1 and instinctively he seemed to be aware of danger and to be stretching out his arms for some rock or tree-branch to stay his present course4 ,perhaps ,valentine noticed this1 for his excitement suddenly faded1 and his face resumed its usual expression of almost cold purity and refinement4 ,i generally translate this sort of thing into music1 he said4 ,at the last word ,julian looked up instinctively to the wall on which the picture of ,the ,merciful ,knight usually hung4 ,for ,valentine's music was inseparably connected in his mind with that picture4 ,his eyes fell on a gap4 ,val1 he exclaimed1 in astonishment1 what's become of-- ,oh1 ',the ,merciful ,knight'8 ,it has gone to be cleaned4 ,why8 ,it was all right1 surely8 ,no4 ,i found it wanted cleaning badly and ,i am having it reframed4 ,it will be away for some time4 ,you must miss it4 ,yes1 very much4 ,the last words were spoken with cutting indifference4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,,julian ,,visits ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,from that night1 and almost imperceptibly1 the relations existing between ,valentine and ,julian slightly changed4 ,it seemed to ,julian as if a door previously shut in his friend's soul opened and as if he entered into this hitherto secret chamber4 ,he found there an apparent strange humanity which1 as he grew accustomed to it1 warmed him4 ,the curious refined saintliness of ,valentine1 almost chilly in its elevation1 thawed gently as the days went by1 but so gently that ,julian scarcely knew it1 could scarcely define the difference which nevertheless led him to alter his conduct almost unconsciously4 ,one great sameness1 perhaps1 gave him a sensation of safety and of continuity4 ,valentine's face still kept its almost unearthly expression of intellectuality and of purity4 ,when ,julian looked at him no passions flamed in his blue eyes1 no lust ever crawled in the lines about his mouth4 ,his smooth cheeks never flushed with beaconing desire1 nor was his white forehead pencilled with the shadowy writing that is a pale warning to the libertine4 ,and yet his speech about the spring that night1 as they leaned out over ,victoria ,street1 had evidently not been a mere reckless rhapsody4 ,it had held a meaning and was remembered4 ,in ,valentine there seemed to be flowering a number of faint-hued wants1 such wants as had never flowered from his nature before4 ,the fig-tree that had seemed so exquisitely barren began to put forth leaves1 and when the warm showers sang to it1 it sang in tremulous reply4 ,and the spring grew in ,london4 ,never before had ,julian been so conscious of the growth of the year as now4 ,the spring stirred inside him1 as if he were indeed the ,mother ,earth4 ,tumults of nature shook him4 ,with the bursting of the crocus1 the pointing of its spear of gold to the sun1 a life gathered itself together within him1 a life that held1 too1 a golden shaft within its colour-stained cup4 ,and the bland scent of the innumerable troops of hyacinths in ,hyde ,park was a language to him as he strolled in the sun towards the ,row4 ,scents speak to the young of the future as they speak to the old of the past2 to the one with an indefinite excitement1 to the other with a vague regret4 ,and especially when he was in the company of ,valentine did ,julian become intensely alive to the march of the earth towards summer1 and feel that he was in step with it1 dragooned by the same music4 ,he began to learn1 so he believed1 what ,valentine had called the lesson of his strength1 and of all the strength of the spring4 ,his wild blood leaped in his veins1 and the world was walking with him to a large prospect1 as yet fancifully tricked out in mists and crowned with clouds4 ,the spring brought to ,valentine an abounding health such as he had never known before1 a physical glory which1 without actually changing him1 gave to him a certain novelty of aspect which ,julian felt without actually seeing4 ,one day1 when they were out riding together in the ,park1 he said3 ,how extraordinarily strong you look to-day1 ,val4 ,valentine spurred his horse into a short gallop4 ,i feel robust1 he said4 ,i think it is my mind working on my body4 ,i have attained to a more healthy outlook on things1 to a saner conception of life4 ,for years you have been learning from me1 ,julian4 ,now ,i think the positions are reversed4 ,i am learning from you4 ,julian pressed his knees against his horse's sides with an iron grip1 feeling the spirited animal's spirited life between them4 ,they were now on a level with the ,serpentine and riding parallel to it4 ,a few vigorous and determined bathers swam gaily in the pale warmth of the morning sun4 ,two boys raced along the grassy bank to dry themselves1 whooping with exultation1 and leaping as they ran4 ,a man in a broad boat1 ready to save life1 exchanged loud jokes with the swimmers4 ,on a seat two filthy loafers watched the scene with vacant eyes4 ,they had slept in the ,park all night1 and their ragged clothes were drenched with dew4 ,i could race with those boys1 ,valentine said4 ,but not so long ago ,i was like the men on the bench4 ,i only cared to look on at the bathing of others4 ,now ,i could swim myself4 ,he sent his horse along at a tremendous pace for a moment1 then drew him in1 and turned towards ,julian4 ,we are learning the lesson of the spring1 he said4 ,as he spoke a light from some hidden place shot for an instant into his eyes and faded again4 ,julian laughed gaily4 ,the ride spurred his spirits4 ,he was conscious of the recklessness created in a man by exercise4 ,i could believe that you were actually growing1 ,val1 he said1 growing before my eyes4 ,only you're much too old4 ,yes2 ,i am too old for that1 ,valentine said4 ,a sudden weariness ran in the words1 a sudden sound of age4 ,the truth is1 he added1 but with more life1 my nature is expanding inside my body1 and you feel it and fancy you can see the envelope echo the words of the letter it holds4 ,you are clever enough to be fanciful4 ,gently1 ,raindrop1 gently6 ,he quieted the mare as they turned into the road4 ,just as they were passing under the arch into the open space at ,hyde ,park corner a woman shot across in front of them4 ,they nearly rode over her1 and she uttered a little yell as she awkwardly gained the pavement4 ,her head was crowned with a perfect pyramid of ostrich feathers1 and as she turned to bestow upon the riders the contemptuous glance of a cockney pedestrian1 who demands possession of all ,london as a sacred right1 ,julian suddenly pulled up his horse4 ,hulloh6 he said to the woman4 ,what is it8 asked ,valentine1 who was in front4 ,wait a second1 ,val4 ,i want a word with this lady4 ,rather compromising1 ,valentine said1 laughing1 as his eyes took in with a swift glance the woman's situation in the economy of the town4 ,the woman now slowly advanced to the railing1 apparently flattered at being thus hailed from horseback4 ,her kinsmen doubtless always walked4 ,don't you remember me8 ,julian said4 ,she was in fact the lady of the feathers1 with whom he had foregathered at the coffee-stall in ,piccadilly4 ,the lady leaned her plush arms upon the rail and surveyed him with her tinted eyes4 ,can't say as ,i do1 my dear1 she remarked4 ,what name8 ,never mind that4 ,but tell me1 have you ever had a cup of coffee and a bun in ,piccadilly early in the morning8 ,the mention of the bun struck home to the lady1 swept the quivering chords of her memory into a tune4 ,she pushed her face nearer to ,julian and stared at him hard4 ,so it is1 she said4 ,so it is4 ,for a moment she seemed inclined to retreat4 ,then she stood her ground4 ,her nerves1 perhaps1 had grown stronger4 ,i should like to know you1 ,julian said4 ,the lady was obviously gratified4 ,she tossed her head and giggled4 ,where do you live8 ,julian continued4 ,the lady dived into the back part of her skirt1 and1 after a long and passionate pursuit1 ran a small purse to earth4 ,opening it with deliberation1 she extracted a good-sized card1 and handed it up to ,julian4 ,there you are1 dearie1 she said4 ,on the card was printed1 ,cuckoo ,bright1 #djj ,marylebone ,road4 ,i will come at five this afternoon and take you out to tea1 said ,julian4 ,right you are1 ,bertie1 the lady cried1 in a voice thrilling with pride and exultation4 ,julian rode off1 and she watched him go1 preening herself against the rail like some gaudy bird4 ,she looked up at a policeman and laughed knowingly4 ,well1 copper1 she said2 how's that1 eh8 ,the policeman was equal to the occasion4 ,not out1 he answered1 with a stiff and semi-official smile4 ,move along4 ,and ,cuckoo ,bright moved as one who walked on air4 ,julian had joined ,valentine1 who had observed the colloquy from afar1 controlling with some difficulty the impatience of his mare1 excited by her gallop4 ,you know that lady8 he asked1 still laughing1 with perhaps a touch of contempt4 ,very platonically4 ,we met at a coffee-stall in ,piccadilly as ,i was going home after your trance4 ,she was with me when ,i saw that strange flame4 ,when you imagined you saw it4 ,if you prefer it1 ,val4 ,i am going to see her this afternoon4 ,my dear fellow--why8 ,i'll tell you1 ,julian answered gravely4 ,i believe she is the woman who went to the ',european' with ,marr1 who must have been with ,marr when he was taken ill1 and who fled4 ,i have a reason for thinking so4 ,what is it8 ,i'll tell you later1 when ,i have talked to her4 ,surely you don't suspect the poor creature of foul play8 ,not ,i4 ,it's sheer curiosity that takes me to her4 ,oh4 ,they rode on a step or two4 ,then ,valentine said3 ,are you going to take her out8 ,she's--well1 she is a trifle unmistakable1 ,julian4 ,yes1 ,i know4 ,you are right4 ,she's not for afternoon wear1 poor soul4 ,what damned scoundrels men are4 ,valentine did not join in the sentiment thus forcibly expressed4 ,between four and five that afternoon ,julian hailed a cab and drove to ,marylebone ,road4 ,the houses in it seemed endless1 and dreary alike1 but at length the cab drew up at number #djj1 tall1 gaunt and haggard1 like the rest4 ,julian rang the bell1 and immediately a shrill dog barked with a piping fury within the house4 ,then the door was opened by an old woman1 whose arid face was cabalistic1 and who looked as if she spent her existence in expecting a raid from the police4 ,is ,miss ,cuckoo ,bright at home8 ,miss ,bright6 ,i'll see4 ,the old dame turned tail1 and slithered1 flat-footed1 to a room opening from the dirty passage4 ,she vanished and ,julian heard two gentle voices muttering4 ,the old woman returned4 ,this way1 sir6 she said1 in a voice that perpetually struggled to get the whip-hand of an obvious bronchitis4 ,a moment more and ,julian stood in the acute presence of the lady of the feathers4 ,at first he scarcely recognized her1 for she had discarded her crown of glory and now faced him in the strange frivolity of her hatless touzled hair4 ,she stood by the square table covered with a green cloth1 that occupied the centre of the small room1 which communicated by folding doors with an inner chamber4 ,a pastile was burning drowsily in a corner1 and the shrill dog piped seditiously from its station on a black horsehair-covered sofa1 over which a woolwork rug was thrown in easy abandon4 ,julian extended his hand4 ,how d'you do8 he said4 ,pretty bobbish1 my dear1 was the reply2 but the voice was much less pert than he remembered it1 and looking at his hostess1 ,julian perceived that she was considerably younger than he had imagined1 and that she was actually--amazing luxury6--a little shy4 ,she had a box of safety-matches in her hand1 and she now struck one1 and applied it to a gas-burner4 ,the day was dark4 ,pleased to see you1 she added1 with an attempt at a hearty and untutored air4 ,jessie1 shut up4 ,jessie1 the dog1 of the toy species1 and arched into the shape of a note of interrogation1 obeyed1 lay down and trembled into sleep4 ,the gaslight revealed the details of the sordid room1 a satin box of sweetmeats on the table1 a penny bunch of sweet violets in a specimen-glass1 one or two yellow-backed novels1 and a few photographs ranged upon the imitation marble mantelpiece4 ,there was one arm-chair1 whose torn lining indecently revealed the interior stuffing1 and there were three other chairs with wooden backs4 ,the lady of the feathers did not dwell in marble halls1 unless1 perhaps1 imaginatively4 ,you've got cosey quarters1 ,julian said1 amiably lying4 ,yes1 they're not bad1 but they do cost money4 ,sit down1 won't you6 ,the lady shoved the one arm-chair forward1 and after a polite skirmish1 ,julian was forced to take it4 ,he sat down1 disguising from his companion his sudden knowledge that the springs were broken4 ,she1 on her part1 laid hold of ,jessie1 dumped the little creature into her lap1 and assumed an air of abrupt gentility1 pursing her painted lips1 and shooting sidelong glances of inquiry at the furniture4 ,julian could not at once explain his errand4 ,he felt that caution was imperative4 ,besides1 the lady doubtless expected to be entertained at ,verrey's or possibly even at ,charbonnel's4 ,but ,julian had resolved to throw himself upon the lady's hospitality4 ,it's an awful day1 he said4 ,the lady assented1 adding that she had not been out4 ,we are very cosey here1 ,julian continued1 gazing at the small fire that was sputtering in the grate4 ,the lady looked gratified4 ,she felt that the meagre abode which she must name home had received the hallmark of a toff's approval4 ,now ,i am going to ask you something1 ,julian said4 ,will you let me have tea with you to-day1 and--and--come out with me some evening to the ,empire or somewhere1 instead8 ,the lady nodded her fringed head4 ,certainly1 my dear1 she responded4 ,proud to give you tea1 ,i'm sure4 ,suddenly she bounced up1 scattering ,jessie over the floor4 ,she promenaded to the door1 opened it and yelled3 ,mrs4 ,brigg6 ,mrs4 ,brigg6 ,the expostulating feet of the old person ascended wearily from the lower depths of the house4 ,lord6 ,lord6 ,whatever is it now8 she wheezed4 ,please bring up tea for me and this gentleman4 ,the lady assumed the voice of a sucking dove4 ,tea6 ,why1 ,i thought you'd be out to-- ,the lady shot into the passage and shut the door behind her4 ,after a moment she put her head in and said to ,julian3 ,i'll be back in a minute4 ,she's in a rare tantrum4 ,i must go down and help her4 ,pardon4 ,and she vanished like a flash4 ,julian sat feeling rather guilty4 ,to distract himself he got up and looked at the photographs on the mantelpiece4 ,most of them were of men1 but there were two or three girls in tights1 and there was one of a stout and venerable woman1 evidently highly respectable1 seated in an arm-chair1 with staring bead-like eyes1 but a sweet and gentle mouth4 ,her hair was arranged in glossy bands4 ,her hands held a large book1 probably a ,bible4 ,julian looked at her and wondered a little how she chanced to be in this galre4 ,then he started and almost exclaimed aloud4 ,for there1 at the end of the mantelpiece1 was a cabinet photograph of ,marr4 ,he was right then in his suspicion4 ,the lady of the feathers was also the lady at the ,european4 ,sorry to keep you waiting1 said a voice behind him4 ,there was a clatter of crockery4 ,his hostess entered bearing a tray1 which held a teapot1 cups1 a large loaf of bread1 and some butter1 and a milk-jug and sugar-basin4 ,she plumped it down on the table4 ,mrs4 ,brigg wouldn't make toast1 she explained4 ,and ,i didn't like to keep you4 ,let's make some ourselves1 said ,julian1 with a happy inspiration4 ,he felt that to perform a common and a cosey act must draw them together1 and awaken in the lady's breast a happy and progressive confidence4 ,she was evidently surprised at the suggestion4 ,well1 ,i never6 she ejaculated4 ,you are a queer one4 ,you are taking a rise out of me now6 ,not at all4 ,i like making toast4 ,give me a fork4 ,i'll do it1 and you sit there and direct me4 ,she laughed and produced the fork from a mean cupboard which did duty as a sideboard4 ,here you are1 then4 ',cut it pretty thick4 ,it ain't so high class1 but it eats better4 ,that's it4 ,sit on this stool1 dear4 ,she kicked an ancient leather one to the hearth1 and ,julian1 tucking his long-tailed frock coat under him1 squatted down and thrust forward the bread to the bars of the grate4 ,the lady opened the lid of the teapot and examined the brew with an anxious eye4 ,it's drawin' beautiful1 she declared4 ,well1 ,i'm d-- she caught herself up short4 ,well this is bally funny1 she said4 ,turn it1 dearie4 ,julian obeyed1 and they began to talk4 ,for the ice was broken now1 and the lady was quite at her ease1 and simple and human in her hospitalities4 ,this is better than the bun1 ,julian said4 ,i believe you1 dear4 ,and yet that bun did me a deal of good that mornin'4 ,her voice became suddenly reflective4 ,a deal of good4 ,are you often out at such a time8 ,not ,i4 ,but that night ,i'd--well1 ,i didn't feel like bein' indoors4 ,there's things--well1 there1 it don't matter4 ,that toast's done1 dearie4 ,bring it here1 and let me butter it4 ,julian brought it1 and cut another slice from the loaf4 ,he toasted while the lady buttered1 a fine division of labour which drew them close together4 ,jessie1 meanwhile1 attracted by these pleasant preparations1 hovered about1 wriggling in pathetic anxiety to share the good things of life4 ,anything wrong that night8 ,julian said1 carelessly4 ,the lady buttered1 like an angry machine4 ,oh no1 dearie1 she said4 ,make haste1 or the tea'll be as black as coal4 ,jessie1 you're a pig6 ,i do spoil her4 ,julian called the little dog to him4 ,she came voraciously1 her minute and rat-like body tense with greed4 ,she's a pretty dog1 he said4 ,yes1 the lady rejoined proudly4 ,she's a show dog4 ,she was give to me1 and ,i wouldn't part with her for nuts1 no1 nor for diamonds neither4 ,would ,i1 ,jessie8 ,ah1 well1 dogs stick to you when men don't4 ,she was trying to be arch1 but her voice was really quivering to tears1 and in that sentence rang all the tragedy of her poor life4 ,julian looked across at her as she sat by the tray1 buttering now almost mechanically4 ,she was naturally a pretty girl1 but was growing rapidly haggard1 and was badly made up1 rouged in wrong places consumptively1 powdered everywhere disastrously4 ,her eyes were pathetic1 but above them the hair was dreadfully dyed1 and frizzed into a desolate turmoil4 ,she had a thin young figure and anxious hands4 ,as he looked ,julian felt a profound pity and a curious manly friendship for her4 ,she had that saddest aspect of a human being about whom it doesn't matter4 ,only it matters about every living creature so much4 ,the lady caught his eye1 and extended her lips in a forced smile4 ,you never know your luck6 she cried4 ,so it don't do to be down on it4 ,come on1 dearie4 ,now then for the tea4 ,she poured it out1 and ,julian drew up to the table4 ,already he felt oddly at home in this poor room1 with this poor life1 into which he longed to bring a little hope1 a little safety4 ,jessie sprang to his knees1 and thence1 naughtily1 to the table1 snuffling towards the plate of toast4 ,the lady drew it away and approached it to her nose by turns1 playfully4 ,she is a funny one1 she said4 ,is your tea right1 dearie8 ,perfect1 said ,julian4 ,is my toast right8 ,right as ninepence1 and righter4 ,she munched4 ,i like you1 she said4 ,you're a gentleman4 ,she spoke naturally1 without coquetry4 ,it was a fine experience for her to be treated with that thing some women never know--respect4 ,she warmed under it and glistened4 ,we must be friends1 ,julian said4 ,pals4 ,yes4 ,have some more sugar8 ,she jumped two lumps into his cup1 and laughed quite gaily when the tea spouted over into the saucer4 ,and they chatted on1 and fed ,jessie into joy and peace4 ,gradually ,julian drew the conversation round to the photographs4 ,the lady was expansive4 ,she gave short histories of some of the men1 summing them up with considerable shrewdness1 kodaking their characters with both humour and sarcasm4 ,julian and she progressed along the mantelpiece together4 ,presently they arrived at the old lady with the ,bible4 ,and this8 ,julian said4 ,the lady's fund of spirits was suddenly exhausted4 ,oh1 that1 she said1 and a sort of strange1 suppressed blush struggled up under the rouge on her face4 ,well1 that's mother4 ,i like her face4 ,yes4 ,she thinks ,i'm dead4 ,the lady turned away abruptly4 ,i'll just carry the tray down to ,mrs4 ,brigg1 she said1 and she clattered out with it1 and down the stairs4 ,julian heard her loudly humming a music-hall song as she went1 the requiem of her dead life with the old woman who held the ,bible on her knees4 ,when she returned1 her mouth was hard and her eyes were shining ominously4 ,julian was still standing by the mantelpiece4 ,as she came in he pointed to the photograph of ,marr4 ,and this8 he asked4 ,who's this8 ,the lady burst into a shrill laugh of mingled fear and cunning4 ,that's the old gentleman6 ,what do you mean8 ,what ,i say1--the old gentleman1 ,nick1 the devil1 if you like it4 ,now you are trying to take a rise out of me4 ,not ,i1 dear1 she said4 ,that's the devil1 sure enough4 ,either the tea and toast had rendered her exuberant1 or the thought of the old woman who believed her to be dead had driven her into recklessness4 ,she continued3 ,i'd been with him that night ,i met you1 and ,i was frightened1 ,i tell you4 ,i'd been mad with fright4 ,why8 ,what had he done to you8 ,julian strove to conceal his eager interest under a light assumption of carelessness4 ,done6--never mind4 ,it don't do to talk about it4 ,she laid her thin hand on his arm1 as if impelled to be confidential4 ,do you believe in people being struck8 she said4 ,struck6 ,i don't understand4 ,struck1 she repeated superstitiously4 ,down1 from up there8 ,her eyes went up to the ceiling1 like the child's when it thinks of heaven4 ,was he8 ,julian asked4 ,she nodded1 pursing her red lips4 ,that's what ,i think4 ,it came so sudden4 ,just when ,i was going to scream somethin' seemed to come over him1 like madness it was4 ,he seemed listening4 ,then he says1 ',now--now6' ,and he seemed goin' right off4 ,he stared at me and didn't seem to know me4 ,lord1 ,i was blue with it1 ,i tell you1 dear6 ,i was that frightened ,i just left him and bunked for it1 and never said a word to anybody4 ,i ran downstairs and got out of the house1 and ,i daren't go home4 ,so ,i just walked about till ,i met you4 ,she sighed4 ,i did enjoy that coffee1 ,i tell you straight1 but when you began about seein' things1 ,i couldn't stow it4 ,my nerves was shook4 ,so off ,i trotted again4 ,julian put a question to her4 ,do you know what has become of him8 ,not ,i4 ,he'll never get in here again4 ,mrs4 ,brigg won't let him4 ,she never could abide him4 ,she shook her shoulders in an irrepressible shudder4 ,i wish he was dead1 she said4 ,i never go out but what ,i'm afraid ,i shall meet him1 or come back late but what ,i think ,i shall find him standin' against the street door4 ,i wish he was dead4 ,i knew him4 ,he is dead4 ,she looked at him1 at first questioning1 then awe-stricken4 ,then he was struck8 ,lord6 ,her red mouth gaped4 ,it was in the papers1 ,julian said1 ,at the ,european ,hotel4 ,that was the place4 ,lord6 ,i never see the papers4 ,dead is he8 ,i am glad4 ,her relief was obvious1 yet almost shocking1 and ,julian could not question her good faith4 ,she had certainly not known4 ,he longed to find out more about her relations with ,marr1 and his treatment of her1 but she shied away from the subject4 ,obviously she really loathed and detested the remembrance of him4 ,but why do you keep his photograph8 ,julian asked at last4 ,the lady seemed puzzled4 ,i dunno1 she said at last4 ,i don't seem as if ,i could burn it4 ,but if he is gone--dead1 ,i mean--really-- ,he is4 ,i know4 ,she sat thoughtfully4 ,then she said3 ,he didn't look a fellow to die4 ,it seems funny4 ,no2 he didn't look it4 ,and then she dropped the subject1 and nothing would induce her to return to it4 ,presently they heard a church clock strike4 ,it chimed seven4 ,julian was astonished to find that time had gone so quickly4 ,i must be going1 he said4 ,the lady looked at him with an odd1 half-impudent1 half-girlish1 and wistful scrutiny4 ,i say1 she began1 and stopped4 ,yes8 ,i say--why ever did you come8 ,the short question that expressed her wondering curiosity might well have driven any thoughtful man into tears4 ,and ,julian1 young and careless as he often was1 felt something of the terror and the pain enshrined in it4 ,but he did not let her see this4 ,i wanted to have a talk with you1 he answered4 ,a talk2 you like a talk with me8 ,yes1 surely4 ,she still stared at him with pathetic eyes4 ,he had stood up4 ,oh1 she said4 ,well1 dearie1 ,i'm glad4 ,julian took up his hat4 ,i'm going out too1 she said4 ,are you8 ,yes4 ,she threw a sidelong glance at him1 then added hardily1 although her painted lips were suddenly quivering3 ,i've got to go to work4 ,i know1 ,julian said4 ,well1 ,i will wait till you are ready and drive you wherever you want to go4 ,want to go1 she began1 with a little1 shrill1 hideous laugh4 ,then1 pulling herself up1 she added in a subdued voice3 ,thank you1 dearie4 ,i won't be long4 ,she opened the folding doors and passed into the inner room1 accompanied by ,jessie4 ,julian waited for her4 ,he found himself listening to her movements in the other room1 to the creak of wood1 as she pulled out drawers1 to the rustle of a dress lifted from a hook1 the ripple of water poured from a jug into a basin4 ,he heard the whole tragedy of preparation1 as this girl armed herself for the piteous battle of the ,london streets4 ,and then his ears caught the eager patter of ,jessie to and fro1 and a murmured expostulation from her mistress4 ,evidently the little dog had got hold of some article of attire and was worrying it4 ,there was a hidden chase and a hidden capture4 ,jessie was scolded and kissed4 ,then the sitting-room slowly filled with the scent of cherry-blossom4 ,a toothbrush in action was distinctly audible4 ,this tragedy had its comic relief1 like almost all tragedies4 ,julian sighed and smiled1 but his heart was heavy with the desolate and sordid wonder of life1 as his mind heard--all over ,london--a thousand echoes of the bedchamber music of the lady of the feathers4 ,the folding doors opened wide and she appeared1 freshly painted and powdered1 crowned once again with the forest of ostrich tips1 and holding the struggling ,jessie in her arms4 ,jessie must go to basket1 she said1 and she dropped the dog into a tiny basket lined with red flannel1 and held up a warning finger4 ,naughty--go bials6 she cried4 ,go bials1 ,jessie4 ,what's that8 ,bials--by-bye4 ,she don't like bein' left4 ,well1 dearie1 we've had a nice time4 ,suddenly she put her hands on ,julian's shoulders and kissed his mouth4 ,i wish there was more like you1 she whispered4 ,he kissed her too1 and put his arms around her4 ,if ,i give you something1 will you--will you stay at home to-night1 just to-night1 with ,jessie8 he said4 ,but she drew away and shook her head4 ,i won't take it4 ,yes4 ,i won't4 ,no--we're pals--not--not the other thing4 ,you're the only one ,i've got--of that kind4 ,i won't spoil it--no1 ,i won't4 ,her decision was almost angry4 ,julian did not persist4 ,i'll come again1 he said4 ,she looked at him wistfully4 ,ah--but you won't1 she answered4 ,i will4 ,he spoke with energy4 ,she nodded4 ,i'd like you to4 ,then they went out into the evening and hailed a hansom4 ,put me down at the ,piccadilly end of ,regent ,street1 said the lady of the feathers4 ,,chapter ,,viii ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,,visits ,,valentine ,julian was curiously touched by his interview in the ,marylebone ,road1 and he did not fail to recount it to ,valentine1 whose delicate imagination would1 he felt certain1 feel the pity and the pain of it4 ,but ,valentine did not respond to his generous emotion4 ,i thought she looked a very degraded young person1 he said1 distantly4 ,and not interesting4 ,the woman who is falling is interesting4 ,the woman who has reached the bottom1 who has completely arrived at degradation1 is dull enough4 ,but she is not utterly degraded1 ,val4 ,for ,i know that she can see and understand something of the horror of her own condition4 ,valentine put his hand on ,julian's shoulder4 ,i know what you are thinking1 he said4 ,what8 ,that you would like to rescue this girl4 ,a dull blush ran over ,julian's face4 ,i don't know that ,i had got quite so far as that1 he said4 ,would it be absurd if ,i had8 ,i am not sure that it would not be wrong4 ,probably this girl lives the life she is best fitted for4 ,you surely don't mean-- ,that some human beings are born merely to further the necessities of sin in the scheme of creation8 ,i don't know that4 ,nature1 in certain countries1 demands and obtains pernicious and deadly snakes to live in her bosom4 ,man demands and obtains female snakes to live in his bosom4 ,are not such women literally created for this mtier8 ,how can one tell8 ,but if they are unhappy8 ,you think they would be happy in purity8 ,i believe she would4 ,valentine smiled and shook his head4 ,i expect her sorrows are not caused by the loss of her virtue1 but merely by her lack of the luxuries of life4 ,these birds always want their nests to be made of golden twigs and lined with satin4 ,but ,julian remained unconvinced4 ,you don't know her1 he said4 ,why1 ,valentine1 you have never known such a woman6 ,you6 ,the very notion is ridiculous4 ,i have seen them in their ,garden of ,eden1 offering men the fruit of the tree of knowledge4 ,you mean8 ,at the ',empire4' ,ah6 ,i have half promised to take her there one night4 ,shall ,i come with you1 ,julian8 ,julian looked at him to see if he was in earnest as he made this unutterable proposition4 ,valentine's clear1 cold1 thoughtful blue eyes met his eager1 glowing1 brown1 ones with direct gravity4 ,you mean it1 ,val8 ,certainly4 ,you will be seen at the ',empire' with her8 ,well--would not you8 ,but you are so different4 ,julian1 you remember that night when we leaned out over ,london1 when we saw what are called common people having common experiences8 ,i said then that they1 at any rate1 were living4 ,yes4 ,you and ,i will try to live with them4 ,but1 ,valentine--you-- ,even ,i may learn to feel the strength of the spring if ,i order my life rather differently in the future4 ,we three1 you1 ,i1 the girl1 will go one night to the ,garden of ,eden1 where the birds wear tights and sing comic songs in ,french1 and the scent that comes from the flowers is patchouli1 and silk rustles instead of the leaves of the trees4 ,we will go there on boat-race night4 ,ah1 the strength of the spring6 ,on boat-race night it beats with hammering pulses among the groves of the ,garden of ,eden4 ,julian was surprised at this outburst1 which sounded oddly deliberate1 and was apparently spoken without real impulse4 ,he was surprised1 but1 on consideration1 he came to the conclusion that ,valentine1 having silently debated the question of his own life1 had resolved to make a definite effort to see if he could change the course of it4 ,julian felt that such an effort must be useless4 ,he knew ,valentine so intimately1 he thought1--knew the very groundwork of his nature1--that that nature was too strong to be carved into a different1 and possibly grotesque1 form4 ,are you an experimentalist1 ,val8 he asked4 ,valentine threw a rapid glance on him4 ,i8 ,i don't understand4 ,why should ,i experiment upon you8 ,no2 not on me1 but on yourself4 ,oh1 ,i see what you mean4 ,no1 ,julian2 ,i prefer to let fate experiment upon me4 ,at the ',empire'8 ,if fate chooses4 ,i think you ought to know ,cuckoo-- ,is that her name8 ,yes1 ,cuckoo ,bright1 before our meditated expedition4 ,valentine seemed struck by this idea4 ,so that we may all be at our ease4 ,a capital notion4 ,julian1 sit down1 write a note asking her to come to tea on ,thursday1 in the flat4 ,i will show her my pictures1 and you shall talk to her of ,huxley and of ,herbert ,spencer4 ,julian regarded ,valentine rather doubtfully4 ,are you malicious8 he said1 with a hesitating note in his voice4 ,malicious--no6 ,you won't chaff her8 ,chaff a lady who wears more feathers than ever 'growed on one ostrich1' and who was the intime of the mysterious ,marr8 ,julian1 ,julian6 ,then1 seeing that ,julian still looked rather uncomfortable1 ,valentine added1 dropping his mock heroic manner3 ,don't be afraid4 ,we will give the lady one good hour4 ,ah6 ,julian cried1 struck by the expression1 that's what the doctor wished to give to every poor wretch in ,london4 ,we don't ask the doctor to our tea1 ,valentine replied1 with a sudden coldness4 ,the invitation was conveyed to the lady of the feathers1 and in due course an answer was received1 a mosaic of misspelling and obvious gratification4 ,my dear1 ran the missive1 ,i will com4 ,i shall be pleased to see you agane1 but ,i thorght ,i shoold not4 ,men say--oh yes1 ,i shall com back--but not many does1 and ,i thorght praps you was like the all the rest4 ,your friend is very good to assk me1 and ,i am1 ,yr loving1 ,cuckoo4 ,valentine read the letter without comment and ordered an elaborate tea4 ,julian read it1 and wondered whether he was a fool because he felt touched by the misspelt words1 as he had sometimes felt touched when he saw some very poor woman attired in her ridiculous best clothes4 ,the tea-time had been fixed for five o'clock1 and ,julian intended1 of course1 to be in ,victoria ,street with ,valentine to receive the expected guest1 but ,cuckoo ,bright threw his polite plans out of gear1 and ,valentine was alone when1 at half-past four1 the electric bell rang1 and1 a moment later1 ,wade solemnly showed into the drawing-room a striking vision1 such as had never burst into that silent sea of artistic repose and refinement before4 ,the lady undoubtedly wore what seemed to be her one hat1 and the effect of it1 at all times remarkable1 was amazingly heightened by its proximity to the quiet and beautiful surroundings of the room4 ,as a rule1 it merely cried out4 ,now it seemed absolutely to yell bank-holiday vulgarity and impropriety at the silent pictures4 ,but her gown decidedly exceeded it in uproar1 being of the very loudest scarlet hue1 with large black lozenges scattered liberally over it4 ,from her rather narrow shoulders depended a black cape1 whose silk foundation was suffocated with bugles4 ,a shrill scent of cherry-blossom ran with her like a crowd1 and in her hand she carried an umbrella and a plush bag with a steel snap4 ,her face1 in the midst of this whirlpool of finery1 peeped out anxiously1 covered as it was with a smear of paint and powder1 and when she saw ,valentine standing alone to receive her1 her nervous eyes ranged uncomfortably about in obvious quest of an acquaintance and protector4 ,i am sorry that ,mr4 ,addison has not come yet1 ,valentine said1 holding out his hand4 ,i expect him every minute4 ,won't you come and sit down8 ,an ironical courtesy vibrated in his voice4 ,the lady grew more obviously nervous4 ,she looked at ,valentine through the veil which was drawn tightly across her face4 ,his appearance seemed to carry awe into her heart1 for she stood staring and attempted no reply1 allowing him to take her hand without either protest or response4 ,won't you sit down8 he repeated1 smiling at her with humourous contemplation of her awkward distress4 ,the lady abruptly sat down on a sofa4 ,allow me to put a cushion at your back1 ,valentine said4 ,and he passed behind her to do so4 ,but she quickly shifted round1 almost as if in fear1 and faced him as he stood with his hand on the back of the sofa4 ,no1 she said1 in a hurry2 ,i don't know as ,i want one1 thanks4 ,she half got up4 ,have ,i come right8 she asked uneasily4 ,is this the house8 ,certainly4 ,it's so good of you to come4 ,the words did not seem to carry any comfort to the lady4 ,she passed the tip of her tongue along her painted lips and looked towards the door4 ,pray1 don't be alarmed1 ,valentine said1 sitting down on a chair immediately opposite to her4 ,i ain't4 ,but--but you're not the friend1 are you8 ,i am2 and the ami des femmes too1 ,i assure you4 ,be calm4 ,he bent forward1 looking closely into her face4 ,the lady leaned quickly back and uttered a little gasp4 ,what is the matter8 ,valentine asked4 ,nothin'1 nothin'1 the lady answered1 returning his glance as if fascinated into something that approached horror4 ,when's he comin'8 ,when's he comin'8 ,directly4 ,but ,i trust you will not regret spending a few minutes alone in my company4 ,what can ,i do to make you happy8 ,i'm all right1 thank you1 she said1 almost roughly4 ,don't bother about me4 ,who could help bothering about a pretty woman8 ,valentine answered suavely1 and approaching his chair a little more closely to her4 ,do you know that my friend ,addison can talk of nobody but you8 ,oh6 ,nobody4 ,he raves about you4 ,you're laughing1 the lady said1 still uncomfortably4 ,not at all4 ,i never laugh4 ,as he made this last remark1 ,valentine slowly frowned4 ,the effect of this change of expression upon the lady was most extraordinary4 ,she leaned far back upon the sofa as if in retreat from the face that stared upon her1 mechanically thrusting out her hands in a faltering gesture of self-defence4 ,then1 planting her feet on the ground and using them as a lever1 she succeeded in moving the sofa backwards upon its castors1 which ran easily over the thick carpet4 ,valentine1 on his part1 did not stir1 but with immovable face regarded her apparent terror as a man regards some spectacle neither new nor strange to him1 silently awaiting its eventual closing tableau4 ,what this would have been cannot be known1 for at this moment the bell rang and the butler was heard moving in the hall4 ,the frown faded from ,valentine's face1 and the lady sprang up from the sofa with a violent1 almost a passionate1 eagerness4 ,julian entered hastily4 ,why was you late8 ,cuckoo ,bright cried out1 hastening up to him and speaking almost angrily4 ,why was you late8 ,i didn't think--,i didn't--oh6 ,her voice sounded like the voice of one on the verge of tears4 ,julian looked astonished4 ,i am very sorry1 he began4 ,but ,i didn't know you would be here so soon4 ,he glanced from the lady to ,valentine inquiringly1 as much as to say3 ,how have you been getting on8 ,valentine's expression was gay and reassuring4 ,i have been entertaining your friend1 ,julian1 he said4 ,but she has been almost inconsolable in your absence4 ,she was standing up because ,i was just about to show her the pictures4 ,but now you are here1 we will have tea first instead4 ,ah1 here is tea4 ,miss ,bright1 do come and sit by the fire1 and put your feet on this stool4 ,we will wait upon you4 ,since the entrance of ,julian1 his manner had entirely changed4 ,all the irony1 all the mock politeness1 had died out of it4 ,he was now a kind and delicately courteous host1 desirous of putting his guests upon good terms and gilding the passing hour with a definite happiness4 ,cuckoo ,bright seemed struck completely dumb by the transformation4 ,she took the chair he indicated1 mechanically put her feet up on the stool he pushed forward1 and with a rather trembling hand accepted a cup of tea4 ,do you take sugar8 ,valentine said1 bending over her with the sugar-basin4 ,no1 no1 she said4 ,oh1 but ,i thought you loved sweet things1 ,julian interposed4 ,surely-- ,i won't have none to-day1 she ejaculated1 adding with an endeavour after gentility2 thank you1 all the same1 to ,valentine4 ,he offered her some delicious cakes1 but she was apparently petrified by the grandeur of her surroundings1 or by some hidden sensation of shyness or of shame1 and was refusing to eat anything1 when ,julian came to the rescue4 ,oh1 but you must1 he said4 ,have some of these sugar-biscuits4 ,she took some from him and began to sip and munch steadily1 but still in silence4 ,julian began to fear that the festival must be a dire failure1 for her obvious and extreme constraint affected him1 and he was also seized with an absurd sense of shyness in the presence of ,valentine1 and1 instead of talking1 found himself immersed in a boyish anxiety as to ,valentine's attitude of mind towards the girl4 ,he looked at ,cuckoo in the firelight as she mutely ate and drank1 and was all at once profoundly conscious of the dreary vulgarity of her appearance1 against which even her original prettiness and her present youth fought in vain4 ,her hat cast a monstrous shadow upon the wall1 a shadow so distorted and appalling that ,julian almost grew red as he observed it1 and felt that ,valentine was probably observing it also4 ,he wished poor ,cuckoo had left the crying scarlet gown at home1 and those black lozenges1 which were suited to the pavement of the hall of a financier4 ,everything she had on expressed a mind such as ,valentine must become acquainted with in amazement1 and have intercourse with in sorrow4 ,the pathetic side of this preposterous feathered and bugled degradation he would fail to see4 ,julian felt painfully certain of this4 ,all the details of the woman would offend him1 who was so alive to the value of fine details in life4 ,he must surely be wondering with all his soul how ,julian could ever have contemplated continuing the intercourse with ,cuckoo which had been begun for a definite purpose already accomplished4 ,yet ,julian's feeling of friendship towards this rouged scarecrow with the pathetic eyes and the anxious hands did not diminish as he blushed for her1 but rather increased1 fed1 it seemed1 by the discordant trifles in which her soul moved as in a maze4 ,he was so much in the thrall of thought that he had become quite unconscious of the awkwardness of the brooding silence1 when he heard ,valentine's voice say3 ,are you fond of art1 ,miss ,bright8 ,the question sounded as if addressed to some society woman at home in ,melbury ,road4 ,addressed to ,cuckoo it was entirely absurd1 and ,julian glanced at ,valentine to deprecate the gay sarcasm which he suspected4 ,but ,valentine's face disarmed him1 it was so gravely and serenely polite4 ,eh8 said ,cuckoo4 ,are you fond of art8 or do you prefer literature8 ,i don't know1 she said nervously4 ,or perhaps music8 ,i like singing1 she said4 ,and the organs4 ,do sing us something1 ,val1 ,julian said1 to create a diversion4 ,but ,valentine shook his head4 ,not to-day4 ,i have got a cold in my throat4 ,well1 then1 play something4 ,but ,valentine did not seem to hear the last request4 ,he had turned again to ,cuckoo1 who visibly shied away from him1 and clattered the teacup and saucer1 which she held like one alarmed4 ,music is a great art1 he said persuasively4 ,and appeals essentially to one's emotions4 ,i am certain now that you are emotional4 ,i don't know1 ,i'm sure1 she said1 with an effort at self-confidence4 ,you feel strongly1 whether it be love or hate4 ,this last remark seemed to reach her1 even to stir her to something more definite than mere mauvaise honte4 ,she glanced quickly from ,julian to ,valentine4 ,love and hate1 she responded4 ,yes1 that's it2 ,i could feel them both4 ,you're right there1 my d--1 ,i mean yes4 ,and again she looked from one young man to the other4 ,she had put up her veil1 which was stretched in a bunched-up mass across her powdered forehead1 and ,julian had an odd fancy that in the firelight he saw upon her haggard young face the rapid and fleeting expression of the two violently opposed emotions of which she spoke4 ,her face1 turned upon him1 seemed to shine with a queer1 almost with a ludicrous1 vehemence of yearning which might mean passion4 ,this flashed into the sudden frown of a young harridan as her eyes travelled on to ,valentine4 ,but the frown died quickly1 and she looked downcast1 and sat biting her thin lips1 and crumbling a biscuit into the tiny blue and white china plate upon her knee4 ,and do you give way to your impulses8 ,valentine continued1 still very gravely4 ,what8 ,do you express what you feel8 ,a flash of childish cunning crept into her eyes and mouth1 giving her the aspect of a gamin4 ,no2 ,i ain't such a fool1 she answered4 ,men don't like to be told the truth4 ,do they1 now8 ,the question went to ,julian4 ,why not8 he asked ,oh1 they like to be fooled4 ,if you don't fool them1 they fool you4 ,a sufficiently clear statement of the relations of the sexes through all time1 said ,valentine4 ,have you ever studied ,schopenhauer8 ,ah1 now1 you're kiddin' me6 was her not inappropriate answer4 ,she was getting a little more at her ease1 but she still stole frequent furtive glances at ,valentine from time to time1 and moved with an uncomfortable jerk if he bent forward to her or seemed about to come near to her4 ,he seemed now really interested in her personality1 and ,julian began to wonder if its very vulgarity came to him with a charm of novelty4 ,kidding8 ,valentine said1 interrogatively4 ,gettin' at me6 ,pullin' my leg6 ,oh1 ,i know you6 cried ,cuckoo4 ,i'm up to all them games4 ,you don't get a rise out of me4 ,the lady speaks in parables1 ,valentine murmured to ,julian4 ,i assure you1 he added aloud1 ,i am speaking quite seriously4 ,oh1 seriously be hanged6 said ,cuckoo1 recklessly4 ,you're a regular funny feller4 ,oh yes4 ,only don't try to be funny with me1 because ,i'm up to all that4 ,she seemed suddenly bent on turning the tables on one whom she apparently regarded as her adversary4 ,some people1 when they do make an effort of will1 are always carried forward by the unwonted exertion into an almost libertine excess4 ,miss ,bright's timidity was now developing into violent impudence4 ,she tossed her head till the gigantic shadow of the sarcophagus that crowned it aspired upon the wall almost to the ceiling4 ,she stuck her feet out upon the stool aggressively1 and her arms instinctively sought the akimbo position that is the physical expression of mental hardihood in vulgar natures4 ,go along6 she said4 ,valentine pretended to take her at her word4 ,he got up4 ,where shall ,i go8 ,i am your slave6 ,she laughed shrilly4 ,go to blazes if you like4 ,valentine crossed to the door1 and1 before ,julian had time to speak1 opened it and quietly vanished4 ,julian and ,cuckoo were left staring at one another4 ,the latter's impudence had suddenly evaporated4 ,her face was working as if she was astonished and afraid4 ,what's he after8 ,what's he after1 ,i say8 she ejaculated4 ,go and see4 ,but ,julian shook his head4 ,it's all right4 ,he has only done it for a joke4 ,he will be back directly4 ,yes1 but--but4 ,she seemed really frightened4 ,julian supposed she realized her rudeness vaguely1 and imagined she had made an abominable faux pas4 ,acting on this supposition1 he said reassuringly3 ,he didn't mind your chaff4 ,he knew you were only joking4 ,lord1 it isn't that1 she rejoined with trembling lips4 ,but what's he goin' to do8 ,do8 ,yes4 ,go and see4 ,hark6 ,she held up her hand and leaned forward in a strained attitude of attention4 ,but there was no sound in the flat4 ,then she turned again to ,julian and said3 ,and he's your friend4 ,well1 ,i never6 ,the words were spoken with an extraordinary conviction of astonishment that roused ,julian to keen attention4 ,why1 what do you mean8 he asked4 ,he's a wicked fellow1 she said with a snatch of the breath4 ,a real downright wicked fellow1 like ,marr4 ,that's what he is4 ,julian was amazed4 ,you don't know what you are saying1 he answered4 ,but she stuck to her guns with the animation of hysteria4 ,don't ,i1 though8 ,don't ,i8 ,a girl that lives like me has to know1 ,i tell you4 ,where should ,i be if ,i didn't8 ,tell me that1 then4 ,why1 there's men in the streets ,i wouldn't speak to2 not for twenty pounds1 ,i wouldn't4 ,and he's one of them4 ,why didn't you come8 ,why ever did you let me be on my own with him8 ,he's a devil4 ,nonsense1 ,julian said brusquely4 ,she laid her hand on his1 and hers was trembling4 ,well1 then1 why's he gone off all sudden like that8 ,only for a joke4 ,wait1 ,i'll fetch him back4 ,cuckoo ,bright looked frankly terrified at the idea4 ,no1 she cried2 don't4 ,i'm goin'4 ,i'm off4 ,help me on with my cloak1 dearie4 ,i'm off4 ,julian saw that it was useless to argue with her4 ,he put the cloak round her shoulders4 ,as he did so he was standing behind her1 with his face to the fireplace4 ,the leaping flames sprang from the coals in the grate1 and their light was reflected on the wall1 near the door1 but only1 of course1 to a certain height4 ,julian's eyes were attracted to these leaping flames on the wall1 and he saw one suddenly detach itself from the shadows of its brethren1 take definite shape and life1 develop while he looked from shadow into substance1 float up on the background of the wall higher and higher1 reach the ceiling and melt away4 ,as it faded the drawing-room door opened and ,valentine reappeared4 ,miss ,bright started violently1 and caught at her cloak with both hands4 ,valentine came forward slowly4 ,you are not going already1 surely1 he said4 ,i must1 ,i must1 she ejaculated1 already in movement towards the hall4 ,but ,i have just been to get you a box of sugar plums4 ,he held a satin box in his hand and began to open it4 ,but she hurried on with a nod4 ,good-bye4 ,sorry1 but ,i can't stop4 ,she was in the hall and out of the flat in the twinkling of an eye1 followed by ,julian4 ,valentine remained in the drawing-room4 ,lord1 ,i am glad to be out of it1 said the lady when she had gained the street and stood panting on the pavement4 ,julian hailed a hansom and put her into it4 ,she gazed at him as if she was almost afraid to part from him4 ,you'll--you'll come and see me again1 she said1 wistfully4 ,yes1 ,i'll come1 he answered4 ,for ,god's sake1 don't bring him1 dearie1 she said1 with an upward lift of her feathered head towards the block of mansions4 ,then she drove off into the darkness4 ,,chapter ,,ix ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,,washes ,,her ,,face ,it was at this point in his career that ,julian1 just for a time1 began keenly to observe ,valentine1 and to wonder if there were hidden depths in his friend which he had never sounded4 ,the cause of the dawning of this consideration lay in ,cuckoo's strange assertion and fear of ,valentine1 primarily1 but there were other reasons prompting him to an unusual attitude of attention1 although he might not at first have been able to name them4 ,he could not believe that there was any change in ,valentine1 but he fancied that there might be some side of ,valentine's nature which he did not fully understand1 which others vaguely felt and wrongly interpreted4 ,for it was the instinctive creatures in whom ,valentine's presence now seemed to awake distrust1 and surely an instinct may be too violent1 or move in a wrong direction1 and yet be inspired by some subtlety in the character that awakens it1 and prompts it1 and drives it forward4 ,julian thought that he found a reason for ,cuckoo's aversion in ,valentine's lofty refinement1 which would naturally jar upon her nature of the streets4 ,for her pathos1 her better impulses1 which had touched him and led him to sympathy with her1 were perhaps only stars in a mind that must be a dust-heap of horrible memories and coarse thoughts4 ,to protect ,valentine from even the most diminutive shadow of suspicion1 ,julian was ready silently to insist that ,cuckoo was radically bad1 although he really knew that she was rather a weak sacrifice than an eager sinner4 ,her declaration that ,valentine was evil carried complete conviction of its sincerity4 ,indeed1 her obvious fear of him proved this4 ,and this fear of a woman reminded ,julian of the fear exhibited towards ,valentine by ,rip1 a terror which still continued1 to such an extent1 indeed1 that the little dog was now never permitted to be in the presence of its master4 ,you are rather an awe-inspiring person1 ,valentine1 ,julian said one day4 ,valentine looked surprised4 ,i never knew it1 he answered4 ,who is afraid of me8 ,oh1 ,i don't know--well1 ,rip1 for one1 and--and that girl1 ,cuckoo1 for another4 ,why is she afraid8 ,i can't imagine4 ,i could soon put her at her ease1 and ,i will do so4 ,he went over to the mantelpiece and took up an envelope that was lying there4 ,from it he drew a slip of coloured paper4 ,this will be the talisman1 he said4 ,have you forgotten that ,saturday is boat-race day8 ,what1 you have really got a box for the ',empire'8 ,yes2 and ,i mean to invite ,miss ,bright4 ,julian exclaimed with his usual frankness3 ,why the devil do you think of asking her8 ,because ,i am certain she will be amusing company on such an occasion4 ,that's your real reason8 ,yes4 ,she will come1 of course8 ,julian looked rather doubtful4 ,i don't know1 he said4 ,she may4 ,she must1 ,julian4 ,here is a note ,i have written to her4 ,do give it to her yourself4 ,i can't be thought a bogey4 ,she must come and learn that ,i am harmless4 ,as he said this ,valentine's fingers unconsciously twisted the note they held so strongly that it was torn to shreds4 ,why1 you have torn it up1 ,julian said1 in surprise4 ,oh yes4 ,valentine paused1 then added3 ,you had better ask her by word of mouth4 ,persuade her to come4 ,i will try4 ,the lady of the feathers did indeed require a good deal of persuasion4 ,when first ,julian made the proposition her face shone with gratification1 for he gave the invitation without mentioning ,valentine's name4 ,but then the clouds came down4 ,the lady remembered him suddenly1 and said3 ,are we two going alone1 dearie8 ,well--it's a big box1 you see4 ,we should be lost in it4 ,oh4 ,she waited for further explanation1 an obvious anxiety in her eyes4 ,my friend ,cresswell is coming with us4 ,it's his box4 ,the gratification died away from the painted face4 ,cuckoo shook her head and pursed her lips in obvious and absurd disapprobation4 ,then ,i don't think ,i'll go4 ,no2 ,i won't4 ,and upon this ,julian had to launch forth over a sea of expostulation and protest4 ,cuckoo possessed all the obstinacy of an ignorant and battered nature1 taught by many a well-founded distrust1 to rely upon its own feebleness1 rather than upon the probably brutal strength of others4 ,she was difficult to move1 although she had no arguments with which to defend her assumption of the mule's attitude4 ,at last ,julian grew almost angry in defence of ,valentine4 ,half the women in ,london would be proud to go with him1 he said hotly4 ,not if they knew as much about men as ,i do1 she answered4 ,but you know nothing whatever about him4 ,that's just the point4 ,ah1 but ,i feel a lot1 she said1 with an expressive twist of her thin1 rather pretty face4 ,he's bad1 rank bad4 ,that's what he is4 ,julian was suddenly seized with a desire to probe this outrageous instinct to its source1 believing1 like many people1 that the stream of instinct must flow from some hidden spring of reason4 ,now1 look here1 he said1 more quietly4 ,i want you to try to tell me what it is in him that you dislike so much4 ,it's everything1 dearie4 ,no2 but that's absurd4 ,for instance1 it can't be his looks4 ,it is4 ,why1 he's wonderfully handsome4 ,i don't care4 ,i hate his face2 yes1 ,i do4 ,julian impatiently pitied her as one pities a blind man who knocks up against one in the street4 ,but he thought it best to abandon ,valentine's appearance to its unhappy fate of her dislike1 and sailed away on another tack4 ,my friend likes you1 he said1 as he thought1 craftily4 ,cuckoo tossed her head without reply4 ,he said he would rather go with you on ,saturday than with any one in ,london4 ,this last remark seemed to produce a considerable effect upon the girl4 ,did he1 though8 she asked1 one finger going up to her under lip1 reflectively4 ,really1 truly8 ,really1 truly4 ,what should he want with me8 ,he's--he's not one of the usual sort4 ,valentine usual6 ,i should think not4 ,and he wants me to go8 ,certainly she was impressed and flattered4 ,yes1 very much4 ,julian found himself again wondering1 with ,cuckoo1 mightily at ,valentine's vagary of desire4 ,she touched his hand with her long1 thin fingers4 ,you'll stay with me all the time8 ,why1 of course4 ,you won't leave me8 ,not alone with him1 ,i mean4 ,no2 don't be so absurd4 ,a new hesitation sprang into her face4 ,but what am ,i to go in8 she said4 ,he--he don't like my red4 ,so her awe and dislike prompted her to a desire of pleasing ,valentine after all1 and had led her shrewdly to read his verdict on her poorly smart gown4 ,julian1 pleased at his apparent victory1 now ventured on a careful process of education1 on the insertion of the thin edge of the wedge1 as he mutely named it4 ,cuckoo1 he said1 let me give you a present1--a dress4 ,now1 as she began to shake her tangled head1 don't be silly4 ,i have never given you anything1 and if we are to be pals you mustn't be so proud4 ,can you get a dress made in three days1--a black dress8 ,yes1 she said4 ,but black6 ,i shall look a dowdy4 ,no4 ,oh1 but ,i shall1 she murmured1 dismally4 ,colours suits me best4 ,you see ,i'm thin now2 not as ,i was when ,i--well1 before ,i started4 ,ah1 ,i looked different then1 ,i did4 ,i don't want to be a scarecrow and make you ashamed of me4 ,julian longed to tell her that it was the rouge1 the feathers1 the scarlet skirt1 the effusive bugles1 that made a scarecrow of her4 ,but he had a rough diplomacy that taught him to refrain4 ,he stuck to his point1 however4 ,i shall give you a black dress and hat-- ,oh1 my hat's all right now1 she interposed4 ,them feathers is beautiful4 ,splendid2 but ,i'll give you a hat to match the dress1 and a feather boa1 and black suede gloves4 ,but1 dearie1 ,i shall be a trottin' funeral1 that ,i shall1 she expostulated1 divided between excitement and perplexity4 ,no2 you'll look splendid4 ,and ,cuckoo-- ,he hesitated1 aware that he was treading on the divine quicksand of woman's prejudices4 ,cuckoo1 ,i want you to make a little experiment for my sake4 ,whatever is it1 dearie8 ,just on that one night take--take all that off4 ,with an almost timid gesture1 and growing boyishly red1 he indicated the art decoration1 pink and pale1 that adorned her face4 ,poor ,cuckoo looked completely flabbergasted4 ,what8 she said uncertainly2 don't you like me with it8 ,no4 ,well1 but1 ,i don't know4 ,such an experiment evidently struck her as portentous1 earth-shaking4 ,she stared into the dingy glass that stood over the mantelpiece in ,marylebone ,road4 ,i shall look a hag1 she muttered1 with conviction4 ,i shall4 ,you never had it1 before you started4 ,her eyes grew round4 ,ah1 that was jolly different1 though1 she said4 ,try it1 he urged4 ,go and try it now1 then come and show me4 ,i don't like to4 ,the idea reduced her almost to shyness4 ,but she got up falteringly1 and moved towards the bedroom4 ,when she was by the folding door she said3 ,i say4 ,well8 ,i say1 you won't laugh at me8 ,of course not4 ,you won't--honour8 ,honour6 ,she disappeared4 ,and there was the sound of many waters4 ,julian listened to it1 repeating under his breath that word of many meanings1 that panorama-word1 honour4 ,among thieves1 among prostitutes1 among murderers1 rebels1 the lost1 the damned of this world1 still does it not sing1 like a bird that is too hopeful of some great and beautiful end ever to be quite silent8 ,julian waited1 while ,cuckoo washed away her sin of paint and powder1 at first nervously1 then with a certain zest that was almost violent1 that splashed the water on floor and walls1 and sent the shivering ,jessie beneath the bed for shelter4 ,cuckoo scrubbed and scrubbed1 then applied a towel1 until her skin protested in patches4 ,finally1 and with a disturbed heart1 she approached the sitting-room4 ,her voice came in to ,julian while she remained hidden3 ,i say-- ,yes4 ,i know you will laugh4 ,honour1 ,cuckoo1 honour4 ,oh1 all right4 ,and she came in to him1 hanging her head down1 rather like a child among strangers1 ashamed1 poor thing1 of looking respectable4 ,julian was astonished at the change the water had wrought4 ,cuckoo looked another woman1 or rather girl1 oddly young1 thin1 and haggard certainly1 and the reverse of dashing1 but pretty1 even fascinating1 in her shyness4 ,as he looked at her and saw the real red of nature run over her cheeks in waves of faint rose color1 ,julian understood fully all that the girl gives up when she gives up herself1 and the wish--smiled at by ,valentine--came to him again1 the wish to reclaim her4 ,ah6 he said4 ,now you are yourself4 ,he took her hand1 and drew her in front of the mirror1 but she refused to lift up her eyes and look at her reflection4 ,i'm a scarecrow1 she murmured1 twisting the front of her gown in her fingers4 ,her lips began to twitch ominously4 ,julian felt uncomfortable4 ,he thought she was going to cry4 ,you are prettier than ever1 he said4 ,look6 ,no1 no4 ,it's all gone--all gone4 ,what8 ,my looks1 dearie4 ,i could do without the paint once4 ,i can't now4 ,suddenly she turned to him with a sort of vulgar passion1 that suspicion of the hard young harridan1 typical of the pavement1 which he had observed in her before4 ,i should like to get the whole lot of men in here1 she said1 and--and chew them up4 ,she showed her teeth almost like an animal4 ,then the relapse1 characteristic of the hysterical condition in which she was1 came4 ,never you treat me like the rest1 she said1 bursting into sobs2 never you try anythin' on4 ,if you do ,i'll kill myself4 ,this outburst showed to ,julian that she was capable of a curious depth of real sentiment that gave to her a glimpse of purity and the divinity of restraint4 ,he tried to soothe her and quickly succeeded4 ,when she had recovered they went out together to see about the making of the new black dress1 and before they parted he had persuaded ,cuckoo to face the ,empire multitude on the fateful evening without her panoply of paint and powder4 ,she pleaded hard for a touch of black on the eyes1 a line of red on the lips4 ,but he was inexorable4 ,when he had gained his point he comforted her anxiety with chocolates1 a feat more easy than the soothing of her with reasoning could have been4 ,when he told ,valentine of the success of his embassy1 ,valentine simply said3 ,i am glad4 ,julian did not mention the episode of the washing1 the preparation of the black gown1 or the promise wrung from the lady of the feathers4 ,the result springing from these three events was to come as a surprise to ,valentine on boat-race night4 ,,chapter ,x ,,the ,,dance ,,of ,,the ,,hours ,even so huge a city as ,london1 full of so many varying personalities and clashing interests1 assumes upon certain days of the year a particular and characteristic aspect1 arising from a community of curiosity1 of excitement1 or of delight felt by its inhabitants4 ,such days are ,derby day and boat-race day4 ,on the latter more especially ,london is leavened by a huge mob of juveniles from the universities1 and their female admirers from the country1 who cast a pleasant spell over the frigid indifference of town-bred dullards1 and wake even the most vacuous of the ,piccadilly loungers into a certain vivacity and boyishness4 ,the cabmen blossom cheerily in dark and light blue favours4 ,the butcher-boys are partisans4 ,every gamin in the gutter is all for one boat or for the other1 and dances excitedly to know the result4 ,london1 in fact1 loses several wrinkles on boat-race day1 and smiles itself into a very pleasant appearance of briskness and of youth4 ,as a rule1 ,julian went to see the race and to lunch with his friends at ,putney or elsewhere1 without either abnormal experience of excitement or any unusual vivacity4 ,he was naturally full of life1 and had hot blood in his veins1 loved a spectacle1 and especially a struggle of youth against youth4 ,but no boat-race day had ever stirred him as this one did--found him so attentive to outside influence1 so receptive of common things4 ,for ,julian had recently been half-conscious that he was progressing1 and with increasing rapidity1 though he knew not in what exact direction4 ,simply1 he had the feeling of motion1 of journeying1 and it seemed to him that he had been standing comparatively still for years4 ,and this boat-race day came to him like a flashing milestone upon the road of life4 ,he felt as if it held in its hours a climax of episodes or of emotions1 as if upon it either his body or his mind must prepare to undergo some large experience1 to meet the searching eyes of a face new and unfamiliar4 ,possibly the reason of his own excitement lay in the excitement of another1 in the curious preparations1 which he had oddly shared1 for the transformation of the unmistakable into the vague4 ,for the transformation of ,cuckoo ,bright had been preparing apace1 and ,julian was looking forward like a schoolboy to the effect which her novel respectability of appearance would have upon ,valentine4 ,the rouge-box lay lonely and untouched in a drawer4 ,even the powder-puff suffered an unaccustomed neglect4 ,the black gown had been tried on and taught to fit the thin young figure1 and a hat--with only one feather--kept company with the discarded sarcophagus which had given to ,cuckoo her original nickname4 ,and ,cuckoo herself was almost as excited as ,francine when she received her muff4 ,she had not seen ,valentine since the day of the tea-party1 yet her attitude of mind had undergone a change towards him1 bent to it probably by her vanity4 ,ever since ,julian had given her the invitation to the ,empire she had displayed a furtive desire to meet him again1 and was perpetually talking of him and asking questions about him4 ,nevertheless her fear of him had not died away4 ,even now she sometimes exclaimed against him almost with vehemence1 and made ,julian renew his promise not to leave her during the evening4 ,but ,julian could see that she longed1 as well as dreaded1 to meet him again4 ,after all1 had he not picked her out from all the girlhood of ,london as one to whom he wished1 to do honour8 ,had he been the ,minotaur1 such a fact must have made her look upon him with desirous interest4 ,when the great day arrived poor ,cuckoo had to struggle with a keen and a sore temptation4 ,she longed to deck herself out in her usual borrowed plumage1 to take the habitual brilliant complexion out of the accustomed drawer1 to crown her frizzed head with feathers1 and to look noisily dashing--her only idea of elegance and grace4 ,never before had she so desired to create an impression4 ,yet she had given ,julian her most solemn promise1 and she intended to keep it4 ,as she slowly attired herself1 however1 she wondered very much why he was so set upon denuding her of her accustomed magnificence4 ,her mind was entirely unable to grasp his conception of beauty and of attractiveness4 ,she thought all men preferred the peony to the violet4 ,to-night it was very certain that she would be no peony1 scarcely even a violet4 ,her new gown had been expensive1 but it was terribly simple1 and the skirt hung beautifully1 but was surely most direfully sombre4 ,nevertheless1 it rustled with a handsome sound1 a melody of wealth1 when she had put it on and promenaded about her dingy bedroom1 with ,jessie at her heels1 pretending to worry it playfully4 ,the black bodice had some trimming4 ,but it was all black4 ,cuckoo wished it had been scarlet1 or1 at the least1 orange--something to catch the eye and hold it4 ,when she was fully attired1 and was staring into her glass1 between two boldly flaring gas-jets1 she nearly resolved to break her promise to ,julian4 ,she even went so far as to paint her lips and eyes1 and was charmed with the effect against the black4 ,but then with a sudden fury she sponged her pale face clean1 threw the new feather boa round her throat1 and1 without daring to glance again at her funereal image1 turned out the gas1 and went into the sitting-room4 ,as usual1 her last act was to ensconse the pensive ,jessie in the flannel-lined basket1 and to give her a kiss4 ,to-night1 as she did so1 she let a tear fall on the little dog's head4 ,she scarcely knew why she cried4 ,perhaps the quiet gown1 the lack of paint and powder1 the prospect of kind and even respectful treatment from at least ,julian1 if not from ,valentine1 gave to her heart a vision of some existence in which ,piccadilly ,circus had no part4 ,jessie shivered as she felt the tear1 and licked the face of her mistress eagerly4 ,then ,cuckoo rustled forth1 avoiding ,mrs4 ,brigg1 who might be heard laboriously ascending the kitchen stairs to view her in her gala attire4 ,in the twinkling of an eye she was out in the street1 and ,mrs4 ,brigg returned1 swearing gustily1 to the lower regions4 ,cuckoo was to join the young men in their box1 of which she had received the number4 ,she took a cab to the ,empire1 and was there in excellent time4 ,as she paid the man1 she saw several women going noisily in1 dressed in bright colours and gigantic hats4 ,she looked at them1 and felt terribly mean and poor1 and it was with no trace of her usual airy impudence that she asked her way of the towering attendant in uniform who stood at the bottom of the carpeted staircase4 ,julian and ,valentine were already there4 ,they turned round as she came in1 and stood up to receive her4 ,julian took her hand1 but ,valentine hesitated for a moment4 ,then he said3 ,is it--can it be really ,miss ,bright8 ,sure enough it is1 ,cuckoo answered1 with an effort after liveliness4 ,but her eyes were fixed on his4 ,she had seen a curious expression of mingled annoyance and contempt flit across his face as she came in4 ,why1 why had she allowed ,julian to over-persuade her8 ,she was looking horrible1 a scarecrow1 a ghost of a woman4 ,she was certain of it4 ,for a moment she felt almost angry with ,julian for placing her in such a bitter position4 ,but he was glowing with a consciousness of successful diplomacy1 and was delighted with her neat black aspect1 and with her smart1 though small1 hat4 ,he was indeed surprised to find how really pretty she still was when she allowed her true face to be seen1 and was only wishing that she had made a little less of her hair1 which was more vigorously arranged even than usual4 ,he glanced to see ,valentine's surprise4 ,you are so altered1 the latter continued4 ,i scarcely recognized you4 ,cuckoo's lips tightened4 ,altered or not1 it's me1 though1 she said4 ,valentine did not reply to this4 ,he only made her come to the front of the box1 and placed a chair for her4 ,she sat down feeling like a dog just whipped4 ,the young men were on each side of her1 and the band played an overture4 ,cuckoo peered out over the bar of the box1 shifting ever so little away from the side on which ,valentine sat4 ,in his presence all her original and extreme discomfort returned1 with an added enmity caused by her secret certainty that he thought her looking her worst4 ,she peered from the box and strove to interest herself in the huge crowd that thronged the house1 and in her own dignified and elevated position in it4 ,for ,valentine had taken one of the big boxes next the stage on the first tier1 and ,cuckoo had never been in such a situation before4 ,she could survey the endless rows of heads in the stalls with a completeness of bird's-eye observation never previously attained4 ,what multitudes there were4 ,endless ranks of men1 all staring in the same direction1 all smoking1 all with handkerchiefs peeping out of their cuffs1 and gold rings on their little fingers4 ,some of them looked half asleep1 others1 who had evidently been dining1 threw themselves back in their stalls1 roaring with laughter1 and leaning to tell each other stories that must surely have teemed with wit4 ,most of them were young4 ,but here and there an elderly and lined figure-head appeared among them1 a figure-head that had faced many sorts of weather in many shifting days and nights1 and that must soon face eternity--instead of time4 ,yet at the gates of death it still sipped its brandy and soda1 smiled over a ,french song with tired lips1 and sat forward with a pale gleam dawning in its eyes to reconnoitre the charms of a ballet4 ,and if it looked aside at youth and was pierced by the sword of tragedy1 yet it was too well bred or too conventional to let even one of the world around witness the wound4 ,there is much secret bravery in social life4 ,but these elderly figure-heads were fewer than usual to-night4 ,youth seemed to have usurped the playing-grounds of pleasure1 to have driven old age away into the shadows4 ,with flag flying1 with trumpet and drum1 it gaily held the field4 ,the lady of the feathers1 ,valentine1 and ,julian leaned out from their box as from the car of a balloon and saw below them a world of youth hand in hand with the world of pleasure the gods offer to youth as wine4 ,it was yet early in the evening1 and the hours were only tripping along1 as women trip in the pictures of ,albert ,moore4 ,they had not begun to dance1 although the band was playing a laughing measure from an opera of ,auber that foams with frivolity4 ,men kept dropping in1 cigar in mouth1 walking to their seats with that air of well-washed and stiff composure peculiar to ,british youth1 grim with self-consciousness1 but affecting the devil-may-care with a certain measure of success4 ,some of them escorted ladies1 but by far the greater number were in couples1 or in parties of three or four4 ,the rose of health1 or1 in many cases1 of repletion1 sat enthroned upon their cheeks2 on the upper lips of many the moustaches were budding delicately4 ,these were just getting up on the box and gripping the reins for the great coach-drive4 ,little wonder if the veins in their eager hands stood out4 ,little wonder if they flourished the whip with an unnecessary vehemence4 ,but for them1 too1 so far the hours were only tripping1 a slow and a dainty measure1 a formal minuet4 ,and they were but watching4 ,only later would they rise up and join the great dance of the hours1 large1 complicated1 alluring1 through whose measures the feet of eventual saints have trod1 whose music rings in the ears of many who1 long after1 try to pray and to forget4 ,some who were with women made conversation jocosely1 putting on travesties of military airs1 and a knowingness of expression that might have put the wisdom of the ,sphinx to shame4 ,nor did they hesitate to appear amorous in the public eye4 ,on the contrary1 their attitudes of attention were purposely assumed silently to utter volumes4 ,they lay1 to all intents and purposes1 at the feet of their houris1 as ,samson lay shorn at the feet of ,delilah4 ,in loud young voices they told the secrets of their hearts1 until even the clash of the music could scarcely keep them hidden4 ,and ,delilah1 who had shorn the locks of so many ,samsons1 and who had heard so many secrets1 gave ear with a clever affectation of interested surprise that deceived these gay deceivers and set them high on the peaks of their own estimation4 ,two or three family parties1 one obviously ,french1 seemed out of place1 indecently domestic in the midst of such a throng1 in which matrimony was a ,cinderella before the ball1 cuffed in curl-papers rather than kissed in crystal slippers4 ,they sat rather silent4 ,one consisted of a father1 a mother and two daughters1 the latter in large flowered hats4 ,the father smoked4 ,the mother looked furtive in a bonnet1 and the two daughters1 with wide open eyes1 examined the flirtations around them as a child examines a butterfly caught in a net4 ,one of them blushed4 ,but she did not turn away her eyes4 ,nor were her girlish ears inactive4 ,family life seemed suddenly to become dull to her4 ,she wondered whether it were life at all4 ,and the father still smoked domestically4 ,he knew it all4 ,that was the difference4 ,and perhaps it was his knowledge that made him serenely content with domesticity and the three women who belonged to him4 ,two boys1 who had come up from a public school for the race1 and had forgotten to go back1 sat at the end of a row in glistening white collars and neat ties1 almost angrily observant of all that was going on around them4 ,for them the dance of the hours was already begun1 and already become a can-can4 ,they watched it with an eager interest and excitement1 and the calm self-possession with which some of the men near them made jokes to magnificently dressed women with diamond earrings struck them dumb with admiration4 ,yet1 later on1 they too were fated to join in the dance1 when the stars affected to sleep on the clouds and the moon lay wearily inattentive to the pilgrims of the night1 like an invalid in a blue boudoir4 ,on the thick carpet by the wall attendants stood loaded with programmes4 ,one of them1 very trim and respectable1 in a white cap1 was named ,clara and offered a drink by an impudent ,oxonian4 ,she giggled with all the vanity of sixteen1 happily forgetful of her husband and of the seven children who called her mother4 ,yet the dance of the hours was a venerable saraband to her1 and she often wished she was in bed as she stood listening to the familiar music4 ,in the enclosure set apart for the orchestra the massed musicians earned their living violently in the midst of the gaily dressed idlers1 who heard them with indifference1 and saw them as wound-up marionettes4 ,the drummer hammered on his blatant instrument with all the crude skill of his tribe1 producing occasional terrific noises with darting fists1 while his face remained as immovable as that of a ,punchinello4 ,a flautist piped romantically an ,arcadian measure1 while his prominent eyes stared about over the chattering audience as if in search of some one4 ,suddenly he gave a couac4 ,he had seen his sweetheart in the distance with a youth from ,christ ,church4 ,the conductor turned on the estrade in the centre of the orchestra and scowled at him1 and he hastened to become ,arcadian once again1 gazing at his flute as if the devil had entered into it4 ,in a doorway shrouded with heavy curtains two acting managers talked warily1 their hands in retreat behind their coat-tails4 ,they surveyed the house and mentally calculated the amount of money in it1 raising their eyes to the more distant promenade1 at the back of which large hats covered with flowers and feathers moved steadily to and fro4 ,one of them curled his lips and murmured the word ,chant4 ,then they both laughed and strolled out to the bar4 ,more men passed in4 ,many could not get seats1 and these stood1 smoking and exchanging remarks in the broad space between the stalls and the wall4 ,some of them leaned nonchalantly against it and criticised the appearance of the seated audience1 or nodded to acquaintances4 ,others gathered round the bar1 and a few looked at the drop-curtain as if they thought their ascetic glances would cause it to roll up and disappear4 ,the overture at length ended4 ,the stage was disclosed1 and a man came forward with a smirk1 and a wriggle of gigantic feet1 to sing a song4 ,but ,cuckoo ,bright1 ,valentine1 and ,julian1 from their balloon-car1 still surveyed the world4 ,cuckoo had heard the man before4 ,she was no stranger to the upper regions of the ,empire1 but the fascination of knowing herself watched and commented on from the stalls was a new experience1 and she wished to make the most of it4 ,forgetting that she was not painted and powdered1 she stretched herself into view and believed she was creating a sensation4 ,so absorbed was she in the grand effort of being seen1 that when ,valentine drew his chair a little closer to her she did not notice it4 ,one of her hands lay on her lap1 the other being on the ledge of the box supporting her chin4 ,she returned eagerly the glances of the stalls4 ,the hand that was in her lap felt another hand close on it4 ,instinctively ,cuckoo turned towards ,julian1 ready to smile4 ,but ,julian was gazing absorbed at the crowd1 and half abstractedly listening to the song of the man in the huge1 distorted boots4 ,it was ,valentine who held her hand4 ,she tried to draw it away4 ,he merely tightened his grip on it and continued sitting in silence1 not even looking towards her4 ,and as he held her hand a sense of helplessness came over ,cuckoo4 ,even through his kid glove she could feel the burning heat of his palm1 of the fingers that clutched hers with the strength of an athlete4 ,she gazed towards him through the new black veil that was drawn over her face1 and it seemed even to her limited intelligence that the man who was so brutally holding her against her will could not be the man at whom she was now looking4 ,for ,valentine1 whose profile was set towards her1 was pale1 calm1 almost languid in appearance4 ,his blue eyes were glancing quietly over the multitude1 with an air of indifferent observation4 ,his lips were slightly parted in a sort of dawning smile1 and his whole attitude was that of a man lazily at ease and taking his pleasure in a desultory mood4 ,yet the hand on ,cuckoo's knees was vicious in its grasp4 ,this startling and silent contradiction threw her into a complete panic1 but she did not dare to say anything in protest4 ,she sat silently trembling1 and drawing her lips together in growing perturbation1 till ,julian happened to turn towards them4 ,then ,valentine's fingers relaxed their grasp quietly1 and slipped away4 ,at the same time he moved with an air of energy1 and broke into gay conversation4 ,his languor vanished4 ,his blue eyes sparkled4 ,julian was astonished at his intense vivacity4 ,he laughed1 made jokes1 became absolutely boyish4 ,why1 ,val1 how gay you are6 ,julian said4 ,every one is gay to-night4 ,he was interrupted by a roar of laughter4 ,the man in the boots was becoming immoderately whimsical4 ,his feet seemed to have escaped from control1 and to be prancing in ,paradise while he looked on in ,purgatory4 ,every one is gay4 ,as ,valentine repeated the words1 and the huge theatre laughed like one enormous person1 ,julian felt again the strange thrill of overmastering excitement that had shaken him on the night when he and ,valentine had leaned out of the ,victoria ,street window4 ,the strength of the spring and of his long tended and repressed young instincts stirred within him mightily4 ,scales fell from his eyes4 ,from the car of the balloon he gazed down1 and it seemed to him that they--,valentine1 ,cuckoo1 and himself--were drifting over a new country1 of which all the inhabitants were young1 gay1 careless1 rightly irresponsible4 ,the rows of open-mouthed1 laughing faces called to him to join in their mirth1--more1 to join in their lives1 and in the lives of the pirouetting hours4 ,he moved in his chair as if he were impelled to get up and leave his seat4 ,and as he moved a voice whispered in his ear3 ,let us eat and drink1 for to-morrow we die4 ,was it ,valentine's voice8 ,he turned round hastily1 curiously perturbed4 ,val1 was that you8 ,did you speak to me8 ,no4 ,julian looked at ,cuckoo4 ,her cheeks were flushed1 and her eyes shone with dancing excitement4 ,did you1 ,cuckoo8 ,not ,i1 dearie4 ,i say1 ain't he funny to-night8 ,then the voice must have spoken in his own brain4 ,he listened for it and fancied he could hear it again and again1 driving him on like a phantom fate4 ,but the voice was in timbre like the voice of ,valentine1 and he felt as if ,valentine spoke with a strange insistence and reiteration4 ,his heart1 his whole being1 made answer to the whisper4 ,to-morrow we die4 ,it is true4 ,ah1 then1 let us--let us eat and let us drink4 ,the man in the boots wriggled furiously into the wings1 and the curtain rose on the ballet4 ,wenzel had ascended to the conductor's platform amid loud applause4 ,the first weary melodies of ,faust streamed plaintively from the orchestra1 and a gravity came over the rows of faces in the stalls4 ,julian's face1 too1 was grave1 but his excitement and his sense of his own power of youth grew as he looked on4 ,the old ,faust appeared1 heavy with the years and with the trouble of useless thought1 and ,julian felt that he could sneer at him for his venerable age4 ,as he watched the philosopher's grandiloquent pantomime of gesture1 like a mist there floated over him the keen imagination of the hell of regret in which the old age1 that never used to the full its irrevocable youth1 must move1 and a passion of desire to use his own youth rushed over him as fire rushes over a dry prairie4 ,even a sudden anger against ,valentine came to him1--against ,valentine for the protection he had given through so many years4 ,for had he not been protecting ,julian against joy8 and does not the capacity for joy pass away with a tragic swiftness8 ,as ,faust was transformed into youth1 and the ballet danced in the market-place1 ,julian turned to ,valentine and said3 ,we will live to-night4 ,valentine laughed4 ,you look excited4 ,i feel excited4 ,don't you8 ,valentine answered3 ,i may presently4 ,we mustn't stay in here all the evening4 ,there was a knock at the door of the box4 ,an attendant appeared to ask their orders4 ,valentine spoke some words to him1 and in a few minutes he brought three long drinks to the box4 ,julian drank his mechanically4 ,his eyes were always on the ballet4 ,the betrayal of poor ,margaret had now been accomplished and the soldiers were returning from the wars4 ,beyond the wall of the garden the tramp of their feet was heard1 a vision of the tops of their passing weapons was seen4 ,the orchestra played the fragment of a march4 ,cuckoo sipped her brandy and soda1 and gazed sometimes at the stage indifferently1 often at the audience eagerly1 and then at ,julian4 ,when her eyes were on ,julian's face a light came into them that made her expression young1 and even pure4 ,a simplicity hovered about her lips1 and a queer dawning of something that was almost refinement spoke in her attitude4 ,but if she chanced to meet the eyes of ,valentine her face was full of fear4 ,and now the last great scene of the pageant approached1 and the two schoolboys leant forward in their stalls in a passion of greedy excitement4 ,julian happened to see them1 and instead of smiling at their frankly lustful attitudes with the superiority of the drilled man over the child1 he was conscious of an eager sympathy with their vigour of enjoyment and of desire4 ,his nature retrograded and became a schoolboy's nature1 with the whole garden of life flowering before its feet4 ,suddenly there came to him the need of touching something human4 ,he stole his arm closely around ,cuckoo's waist4 ,she glanced at him surprised4 ,but his eyes were turned away to the stage4 ,valentine pushed his chair a little backwards4 ,he was watching them1 and when he saw the movement of ,julian's arm1 he laughed to himself4 ,the classical ,sabbath sprang into view1 and it seemed to be just then that the feet of the hours first began to move in the opening steps of their great dance of that night4 ,was it the magnificent ,cleopatra that gave them the signal8 ,or did ,venus herself whisper in their ears that the time for their fte was come at length1 that the paid vagaries of the stage demanded companionship1 and that the audience1 too1 must move in great processions1 whirl in demon circles1 rise up in heart to the clash of cymbals1 bow down before the goddesses of the night1 the women who gave to modern men the modern heaven that they desire in our days8 ,the stage was a waving sea of scarlet1 through which one white woman floated1 like a sin with pale cheeks in the midst of the rubicund virtues4 ,she was1 perhaps1 not beautiful1 but she was provocative and alluring1 and her whiteness made her as voluptuous as innocence is when it moves through the habitations of the wicked4 ,julian watched her come to ,faust and win him from the scarlet dancers and from the arms of ,cleopatra1 and the strange rejuvenation of this philosopher who had been old1 and known decaying faculties1 and the flight of the heart from the warm closes of the summer to the white and iron winter plains1 filled him with sympathy4 ,it must be easy to use your youth after you have known the enforced reserve of age4 ,for age is a bitter lesson4 ,the dance grew more wild and rattling4 ,the frou-frou of the swinging scarlet skirts filled the great house with sound as the glitter of spangles filled it with a shimmering light4 ,faust was surrounded by fluttering women moving in complicated evolutions with a trained air of reckless devilry4 ,and ,julian gave himself to the illusion created by the skill of ,katti ,lanner1 ignoring entirely the real care of the dancers1 and choosing to consider them as merely driven by wild impulse1 vagrant desires of furious motion1 and the dashing gaiety of keen sensual sensation4 ,they danced to fire a real ,faust1 and he was ,faust for the moment4 ,his arm closed more firmly round the waist of ,cuckoo1 and he could feel the throbbing of her heart against the palm of his hand4 ,he did not look at her1 and so he did not see the dawning anxiety with which she was beginning furtively to regard him4 ,entirely engrossed with the stage spectacle1 the movement of his arm had been entirely mechanical1 prompted by the hardening pressure of excitement in his mind4 ,if he had actually crushed ,cuckoo and hurt her he would have been unconscious that he was doing it4 ,and ,valentine all this time leaned back in his chair1 that stood in the shadow of the box1 and looked at the enlaced figures before him with an unvarying smile4 ,contrast and surprise are the essence of the successful spectacle4 ,just as the scarlet dervish whirl was at its height the character of the music changed1 slackened1 softened1 died from the angrily sensuous into an ethereal delicacy4 ,the stage filled with clouds that faded in golden light1 and a huge and glittering stairway rose towards the painted sky4 ,on either side of it hung in the blue ether guardian angels with outstretched wings1 and between their attentive ranks stood the radiant figure of the purified ,margaret1 at whose white feet the red crowd of women1 even the majestic ,cleopatra and pale voluptuous ,venus1 sank abashed4 ,harps sounded frostily1 suggesting that crystal heaven of ,st4 ,john1 in which the beauties we know in nature are ousted by unbreathing jewels1 the lifeless pearl and chrysolite4 ,the air filled with thin and wintry light1 that deepened1 and began to glow1 through lemon to amber and to rose4 ,the angels swam in it1 and then the huge stairway leading up to heaven shone with the violence of a gigantic star4 ,faust fell in repentance before the girl he had ruined and failed to ruin1 the girl who bent as if to bless him upon this fiery ascent to heaven4 ,and ,julian1 absorbed1 devoured the wide and glowing scene with his eyes1 which were attracted especially by the living flames that were half veiled and half revealed beneath the feet of ,margaret4 ,the music of the orchestra rippled faintly1 and then it seemed to ,julian that1 as if in answer1 there rippled up from the golden stairs and from the hidden company of flames that faint1 thin riband of shadowy fire which had already so strangely been with him in the dawn and in the dusk4 ,it came from beneath the pausing feet of the girl who blessed ,faust1 and trembled upwards slowly above her glittering hair4 ,julian felt a burning sensation at his heart1 as if the tiny fire found its way there4 ,he turned round sharply1 withdrawing his arm from ,cuckoo's waist with an abruptness that startled her4 ,valentine6 he exclaimed in a whisper4 ,there2 now you see it4 ,valentine leaned to him4 ,see what8 ,the flame4 ,it's no fancy4 ,it's no chimera4 ,look1 it is mounting up behind ,margaret4 ,watch it1 ,valentine1 and tell me what it is4 ,i see nothing4 ,julian stared into his eyes1 as if to make certain that he really spoke the truth4 ,then ,valentine asked of ,cuckoo3 ,miss ,bright1 can you see this flame of which ,julian speaks8 ,cuckoo answered1 with the roughness that always came to her in the company of alarm3 ,not ,i4 ,there ain't nothing1 no more than there was that day when ,i had the coffee4 ,she added to ,julian1 reproachfully3 ,you've been drinkin'4 ,now1 dearie1 you have4 ,suddenly his two companions became intolerable to ,julian4 ,he thought them stupid1 boorish1 dense1 devoid of the senses of common humanity1 not to see what he saw1 not to feel as he felt1--that this vague flame had a meaning and a message not yet interpreted1 perhaps not even remotely divined4 ,with an angry exclamation he sprang to his feet1 turning once more to the stage4 ,and as the curtain fell1 he distinctly saw the flame glowing like a long and curiously shaped star above the head of ,margaret4 ,and this man and woman would not see it6 ,a sudden enmity to them both came to him in that moment4 ,he abruptly opened the door of the box1 and went out without another word to either of them4 ,cuckoo's voice shrilly calling to him to stop did not affect his resolution and desire to escape from them if only for a moment4 ,out in the corridor at the back of the dress circle people were beginning to circulate1 relieved from the tension of examining the ballet4 ,julian was instantly swallowed up in a noisy crowd1 hot1 flushed1 loud-voiced1 bright-eyed4 ,masses of excited young men lounged to and fro1 smoking cigarettes1 and making fervent remarks upon the gaily dressed women1 who glided among them observantly4 ,from the adjoining bar rose the music of popping corks and flowing liquids4 ,the barmaids were besieged4 ,clouds of smoke hung in the air1 and the heat was terrific4 ,julian felt it clinging to him as if with human arms as he slowly walked over the thick carpet1 glancing about him4 ,humanity touched him on every side4 ,at one moment an elderly woman1 with yellow hair and a fat-lined face1 enveloped him in her skirts of scarlet and black striped silk4 ,the black chiffon that swept about her neck and heaving shoulders fluttered against his face4 ,her high-heeled boots trod on his4 ,he seemed one with her4 ,then she had vanished1 and instantly he was in the arms of a huge racing-man1 who wore gigantic pink pearls in his shirt front1 and bellowed the latest slang to a thin and dissipated companion4 ,it seemed to ,julian that he was kicked like a football from one life to another1 and that from each life he drew away something as he bounded from it1 the fragment of a thought1 the thrill of a desire1 the indrawn breath of a hope4 ,like a machine that winds in threads of various coloured silks1 he wound in threads from the various coloured hearts about him1--red1 white1 coarse1 and fine4 ,and1 half-unconsciously1 was he not weaving them into a fabric8 ,never before had he understood the meaning of a crowd1 that strange congregation of passions and of fates which speaks in movements and is melodious in attitudes1 which quarrels in all its parts1 silently1 yet is swayed through and through by large impulses1 and as an intellect far more keen and assertively critical than the intellect of any one person in it4 ,and now1 when ,julian began to feel the meaning of this surging mob of men and women1 the hours danced1 and he and all the crowd danced with them4 ,and the music that accompanied and directed the feet through the figures of that night's quadrille was the music of words and of laughter1 of hissing enticements and of whispered replies4 ,irresistible was the performance of the hours and of the crowd that lived in them4 ,julian knew it when the dance began1 marvelled at it for a little when the dance was ended4 ,there was contagion in the air1 furtive1 but strong as the contagion of cholera1--the contagion of human creatures gathered together in the night4 ,only the youth who dwells--like ,will-o'-the-,mill--forever by the lonely stream in the lonely mountain valley escapes it entirely4 ,aged saints look backward on their lives1 and remember at least one night when it seized them in its embrace2 and even the purest woman1 through its spell1 has caught sight of the vision behind the veil of our civilization1 and although she has shrunk from it1 has had a moment of wonder and of interest1 never quite effaced from her memory4 ,on every side the ,oxford and ,cambridge boys laughed and shouted1 pushed and elbowed4 ,they had begun to cast off restraint1 and the god that is rowdy on a rowdy throne compelled them to their annual obeisance at his feet4 ,some of them moved along singing1 and interrupting their song with shouts4 ,friends1 when they met in the crowd1 yelled shrill recognitions at each other1 and nicknames sang in the air like noisy birds4 ,rows of men linked arms1 and1 striding forward1 compelled the throng to yield them difficult passage1 swinging this way and that to make their progress more comprehensive4 ,the attendants1 standing by the wall like giants1 calmly smiled on the growing uproar1 into which they darted now and then with a sudden frenzy of dutiful agility to eject some rude wit who had transgressed their code of propriety4 ,the very spirit of lusty youth was in this crowd of hot1 careless1 blatant1 roving youths1 mad to find themselves away from the cool and grey ,oxford towers1 and from the vacant banks of the ,cam1 in passionate ,leicester ,square1 fired by the scarlet ballet1 and the thunder of the orchestra1 and the sight of smart women4 ,sudden emancipation is the most flaming torch to human passions that exists in the world4 ,it flared through all that mob1 urging it to conflagration1 to the flames that burst up in hearts that are fresh and ardent1 and that so curiously confuse joy with wickedness4 ,flames6 flames6 ,the word ran in ,julian's mind1 and in his breast flames surely burned that night1 for1 when he suddenly ran against ,valentine and ,cuckoo in the throng1 he caught ,valentine by the arm and said3 ,val1 you were right just now4 ,there was no flame2 there could have been no flame where ,margaret stood4 ,she was too pure4 ,what can fire have to do with snow8 ,cuckoo1 ,i was a fool4 ,catch hold of my arm4 ,he pulled her arm roughly through his1 never noticing how pale the girl's face was1 how horror-stricken were her eyes4 ,he wanted to bathe himself1 and her1 and ,valentine1 in this crowd that influenced him and that he helped to influence4 ,he felt as the diver feels1 who1 when he plunges1 has a sacred passion for the depths4 ,there are people who have an ardour for going down comparable to the ardour felt by those who mount4 ,tonight such an ardour took hold of ,julian4 ,valentine fell in with it1 seeing the humour of his friend1 and ,cuckoo1 prisoned between the two men1 did not attempt to resist them4 ,as they moved on ,valentine said1 in a voice he made loud that it might be heard3 ,now1 you feel the strength of the spring1 ,julian4 ,is it not better than all my teachings of asceticism8 ,yes1 by ----1 it is4 ,and as he made that answer1 ,julian1 for the first time1 forgot to look up to ,valentine1 and felt a splendid equality with him1 the equality that men of the same age and temper feel when they are bent on the same pursuit4 ,how can one of two ,bacchanals stoop in adoration of the other1 when both are bounding in the procession of ,silenus8 ,valentine fell from his pedestal and became a comrade instead of a god4 ,he was no longer the chaperon of the dancing hours1 but their partner4 ,and a new fire shone in his blue eyes1 an unaccustomed red ran over his cheeks1 as he heard ,julian's answer to his question4 ,from that moment he ceased to play what1 it seemed1 had been but a part1 the empty ivory rle of saint4 ,for ,julian was no longer conscious or observant of him1 no longer able to wonder at his abrupt transformation4 ,in a flash he cast off his habitual restraint and passed from the reserve of thought to the rowdyism of act4 ,he chattered unceasingly1 dressing his ,english in all the slang embroidery of the day4 ,he laughed and chaffed1 exchanged repartees with the flowing multitude through which they passed1 stopped to speak to the flaunting women and loaded them with extravagant compliments1 elbowed loungers out of his way1 and made the most personal remarks on those around him4 ,two men went by1 and one of them exclaimed1 with a surprised glance at ,valentine3 ,i'm damned6 ,why1 there goes the ,saint of ,victoria ,street4 ,saint6 said the other2 ,i should think devil the more appropriate name4 ,that chap looks up to anything4 ,ah1 well2 when a saint turns sinner--1 answered the first speaker1 with a laugh4 ,valentine heard the words and burst into a roar of laughter4 ,he drew ,cuckoo to the left and ,julian followed4 ,they passed under an archway into the bar1 which was crowded with men1 drinking and talking at the tops of their voices4 ,valentine called for drinks in a voice so loud and authoritative that the barmaid hurried to serve him1 deserting other customers1 who protested vainly4 ,he forced ,cuckoo to drink1 and ,julian needed no urging4 ,clinking glasses noisily with them1 he gave as a toast3 ,to the dance of the hours6 ,these words1 uttered with almost strident force1 attracted attention even amid the violent hubbub that was raging1 and several young men pressed round ,valentine as he stood with his back against the counter of the bar4 ,they raised their glasses1 too1 half in ridicule1 and shouting in chorus1 ,to the dance of the hours6 drained them to this toast1 which they could not comprehend4 ,valentine dashed his glass down4 ,it broke and was trodden under foot4 ,the barmaid protested4 ,he threw her a sovereign4 ,the young men gathered round1 broke theirs in imitation1 and ,julian1 snatching ,cuckoo's from her1 flung it away4 ,as he did so1 ,valentine thrust another1 filled with champagne1 into her hand1 and again cried out the toast4 ,what the deuce does he mean by it8 one youth called out4 ,the dance of the hours2 what's that8 ,the dance of the hours6 ,the dance of the hours6 echoed other voices1 and glasses were drained wildly4 ,there was something exciting in the mere sound of the words that seemed to set brains jigging1 and feet moving1 and the world spinning and bowing4 ,for if ,time itself danced1 what could the most ,puritan human being do but dance with it8 ,seeing the crowd round ,valentine1 men who were drinking at the other end of the bar joined it1 and the toast passed quickly from mouth to mouth4 ,uttered by every variety of voice1 with every variety of accent1 it filled the stifling atmosphere1 and tickled many an empty brain1 like the catchword political that can set a nation behind one astute wire-puller4 ,boys yelled it1 men murmured it1 and an elderly woman in a plush gown and yellow feathers screamed it out in a piercing soprano that would have put many a trumpet-blast to shame4 ,glasses were emptied and filled again in its honour4 ,yet nobody knew what it meant1 and apparently nobody cared1 except the ,oxford boy who had already expressed his desire to be better informed on the subject4 ,he had gradually edged his way through the throng until he was close to ,valentine1 at whom he gazed with a sort of tipsy reverence4 ,i say1 you chap1 he cried4 ,what are we drinking to--eh8 ,what the devil's the dance of the hours8 ,valentine brought his glass down on the counter4 ,what is it8 he exclaimed4 ,why1 the greatest dance in the world1 the dance that youth sends out the invitations for1 and women live for1 and old men die with longing for4 ,we set the hours dancing in the night1 we--all who are gay and careless1 who love life in the greatest way1 and who laugh at death1 and who aren't afraid of the devil4 ,the devil's only a bogey to frighten old women and children4 ,what do the hours care for him8 ,not a snap4 ,it's only cowards who fear him4 ,brave men do what they will1 and when the hours dance they dance with them1 and drink with them all the night through4 ,who says there'll be another morning8 ,i don't believe it4 ,curse the sunshine4 ,give me the night and the dancing hours6 ,the youth gave a yell1 which was echoed by some of his rowdy companions1 and by the two little schoolboys who had joined the throng in a frenzy of childish excitement1 which they thought manly4 ,the dancing hours6 ,the dancing hours6 they cried1 and one who was with a girl suddenly caught her round the waist and broke into wild steps4 ,others joined in4 ,the confusion became tremendous4 ,glasses were knocked over4 ,whiskies and sodas were poured out in libations upon the carpet4 ,the protests of the barmaids were unheeded or unheard4 ,julian whirled ,cuckoo into the throng1 and ,valentine1 snapping his long white fingers like castanets1 stamped his feet as if to the measure of a wild music4 ,against the wall some loungers looked on in contemptuous amusement1 but by far the greater number of men present were young and eager for any absurdity1 and not a few were half tipsy4 ,these ardently welcomed anything in the nature of a row1 and the romp became general and noisy4 ,men danced awkwardly with one another1 roaring the latest music-hall tunes at the pitch of their voices4 ,the women screamed with laughter1 or giggled piercingly as they were banged and trodden on in the tumult4 ,the noise1 penetrating to the promenade1 drew the attention of the audience1 many of whom hurried to see what was going on1 and the block round the archways quickly became impenetrable4 ,one or two of the gigantic chuckers-out forced their way into the throng and seized the dancers nearest to them1 but they were entirely unable to stay the ridiculous impulse which impelled this mob of young human beings to capering and yelling4 ,indeed they merely increased the scuffle1 which rapidly developed towards a free fight4 ,hats were knocked off1 dresses were torn4 ,the women got frightened and began to scream4 ,the men swore1 and some lost their tempers and struck out right and left4 ,valentine watched the scene with laughing eyes as if he enjoyed it4 ,especially he watched ,julian1 who1 with scarlet face and sparkling eyes1 still forced ,cuckoo round and round in the midst of the tumult4 ,cuckoo was white1 and seemed to be half fainting4 ,her head rested helplessly against ,julian's shoulder1 and her eyes stared at him as if fascinated4 ,her dress was torn1 and her black veil hung awry4 ,if she danced with the hours it was without joy or desire4 ,but suddenly police appeared4 ,the dancers1 abruptly realizing that a joke was dying in a disaster1 ceased to prance4 ,some violently assumed airs of indifference and of alarming respectability4 ,many sinuously wound their way out to the promenade4 ,a few1 who had completely lost their heads1 hustled the police1 and were promptly taken into custody4 ,julian would have been among these had it not been for the intervention of ,valentine1 who caught him by the shoulder1 and drew him and ,cuckoo away4 ,no2 you mustn't end to-night in a cell1 he said in ,julian's ear4 ,the dancing hours want you still4 ,julian1 you are only beginning your real life to-night4 ,julian1 like a man in an excited dream1 followed ,valentine to the bottom of the broad stairs1 on1 through the blooming masses of flowers1 to the entrance4 ,two or three cabs were waiting4 ,valentine put ,cuckoo into one4 ,she had not spoken a word1 and was trembling as if with fear4 ,get in1 ,julian4 ,julian obeyed1 and ,valentine1 standing on the pavement1 leaned forward and whispered to him3 ,take her home1 ,julian4 ,suddenly ,julian shouted ,cuckoo's address to the cabman hoarsely4 ,the cab drove away4 ,valentine walked slowly towards ,piccadilly ,circus1 whistling softly1 ,i want you1 my honey2 yes1 ,i do4 ,,book ,,iii--,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,,chapter ,i ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,the thin afternoon light of an indefinite spring day shone over the ,marylebone ,road4 ,a heavy warmth was in the air1 and the weather was peculiarly windless1 but the sun only shone fitfully1 and the street looked sulky4 ,the faces of the passers-by were hot and weary4 ,women trailed along under the weight of their parcels1 and men returned from work grimmer than usual1 and wondering almost with a fretfulness of passion why they were born predestined to toil4 ,the cabmen about ,baker ,street ,station dozed with nodding heads upon their perches1 and the omnibus conductors forgot to chaff1 and collected their tolls with a mechanical deliberation4 ,at the crossings the policemen1 helpless in their uniforms of the winter1 became dictatorial more readily than on cooler days4 ,some sorts of weather incline every one to temper or to depression4 ,the day after the boat-race lay under a malign spell4 ,it seemed to feel all the weariness of reaction1 and to fold all men and women in the embrace of its lassitude and heavy hopelessness4 ,at number #djj1 ,jessie whined pitifully in her basket1 and her arched back quivered perpetually as her minute body expanded and contracted in the effort of breathing4 ,her beady eyes were open and fixed furtively upon her mistress1 as if in inquiry or alarm1 and her whole soul was whirling in a turmoil set in motion by the first slap she had ever received in gravity at the hands of ,cuckoo4 ,jessie's inner nature was stung by that slap4 ,it knocked her world over1 like a doll hit by a child4 ,her universe lay prone upon its back4 ,and ,cuckoo's8 ,she was sitting in the one arm-chair with her thin hands folded in her lap4 ,she wore the black dress given to her by ,julian1 but she did not look prepared to go out1 for her hair was standing up over her head in violent disorder1 her cheeks were haggard and unwashed1 and her boots--still muddy from the previous night's promenading--stood in a corner near the grate in the first position1 as if directed by a dancing-mistress4 ,cuckoo was neither reading nor working4 ,she was simply staring straight before her1 without definite expression4 ,her face indeed wore a quite singularly blank look and her mouth was slightly open4 ,her feet1 stuck out before her1 rested on the edge of the fender1 shoeless1 and both her general appearance and attitude betokened a complete absence of self-consciousness1 and that lack of expectation of any immediate event which is often dubbed stupidity4 ,the lady of the feathers sitting in the horsehair-covered chair in the cheap sitting-room with the folding doors looked indeed stupid1 pale1 and heavy4 ,fatigue lay in the shadows of her eyes1 but something more than ordinary fatigue hovered round her parted lips and spoke in her posture4 ,a dull weariness1 in which the mind took part with the body1 held her in numbing captivity4 ,she had only broken through it in some hours to repulse the anxious effort of ,jessie to scramble into the nest of her lap4 ,that slap given1 she had again relapsed without a struggle into this waking sleep4 ,the sun came out with a sudden violence1 and an organ began to play a frisky tune in the street4 ,jessie whined and whimpered1 formed her mouth into the shape of an ,o1 and1 throwing up her head1 emitted a vague and smothered howl4 ,below stairs1 ,mrs4 ,brigg1 who was afflicted with a complaint that prompted her to perpetual anxious movement1 laboured about the kitchen1 doing nothing in particular1 among her pots and pans4 ,the occasional clatter of them mingled with the sound of the organ1 and with the suffocated note of ,jessie1 in a depressing symphony4 ,the sun went in again1 and some dust1 stirred into motion by a passing omnibus1 floated in through the half-open window and settled in a light film upon the photograph of ,marr4 ,presently the organ moved away1 and faded gradually in pert tunes down the street4 ,jessie's nervous system1 no longer played upon1 ceased to spend its pain in sound1 and a ,london silence fell round the little room4 ,then1 at length1 ,cuckoo shifted in her chair1 stretched her hands in her lap1 and sat up slowly4 ,the inward expression had not faded from her eyes yet1 for1 leaning forward1 she still stared blankly before her1 looking1 as it seemed1 straight at ,marr's photograph4 ,gradually she woke to a consciousness of what she was looking at1 and putting up one hand she took the photograph from its place1 laid it in her lap1 and1 bending down1 gazed at it long and earnestly4 ,then she shook her head as if puzzled4 ,i don't know1 she murmured2 ,i don't know4 ,encouraged by the sound of her mistress's voice1 ,jessie stepped from her basket and gingerly approached1 snuffling round ,cuckoo's feet1 and wriggling her body in token of anxious humility4 ,cuckoo picked her up and stroked her mechanically1 but still with her eyes on the photograph4 ,two tears swam in them4 ,she dashed the photograph down4 ,it lay on the carpet1 and was still there when a knock at the door was succeeded by the entrance of ,julian4 ,he1 too1 looked pale and rather weary1 but excited4 ,cuckoo1 he said4 ,she sat still in the chair1 looking at him4 ,well8 she said1 and closed her lips tightly4 ,he came a step or two forward into the little room1 and put his hat and stick down on the table4 ,you expected me to come1 didn't you8 ,i don't know as ,i did4 ,her eyes were on ,jessie now1 and she stroked the little dog's back steadily up and down1 alternately smoothing and ruffling its short coat4 ,julian came over and stood by the mantelpiece4 ,i told you ,i should come4 ,did you8 ,don't you remember8 ,she shifted round in the chair till he could only see her shoulder1 and the side of her head and neck1 on which the loose hair was tumbling in ugly confusion4 ,sitting thus she threw back at him the sentence3 ,i don't want to remember nothing4 ,i don't want to remember4 ,julian stood hesitating4 ,he glanced at ,cuckoo's hair and at the back of her thin hand moving to and fro above the little contented dog4 ,why not8 he said4 ,at first she made no answer to this question1 and seemed as if she had not heard it1 but presently it appeared that her silence had been caused by the effect of consideration1 for at length she said1 still retaining her aloof attitude3 ,i don't want to remember1 because it's like a beastly dream1 and when ,i remember ,i know it ain't a dream4 ,julian said nothing1 and suddenly ,cuckoo turned round to him1 and took her hand from ,jessie's back4 ,i say4 ,you were mad last night4 ,now1 weren't you8 ,the words came from her almost pleadingly1 and her eyes rested on ,julian's insistently1 as if demanding an affirmative4 ,he'd made you mad1 she continued4 ,he1 said ,julian4 ,who8 ,your friend4 ,valentine6 ,he had nothing to do with it4 ,it was all his doing4 ,her voice grew shrill with feeling4 ,he's a devil1 she said4 ,i hate him4 ,i hate him worse than ,i hate that copper west side of ,regent ,street4 ,and ,i hate you1 too1--yes1 ,i do1--to-day4 ,the tears gathered in her eyes and began to fall1 tears of rage and shame and regret1 tears of one who had lost a great possession4 ,julian looked embarrassed and pained1 almost guilty1 too4 ,he put out his hand and tried to take ,cuckoo's4 ,but she drew hers away and went on crying4 ,she spoke again with vehemence4 ,i told you what ,i wanted you to be2 yes1 ,i did1 she exclaimed4 ,yes1 ,i told you4 ,you said you only come here to talk to me4 ,it was true4 ,no2 it wasn't4 ,you're just like all the others4 ,and ,i did so want to have a pal4 ,i've never had one4 ,with the words the sense of her desolation seemed to strike her with stunning force4 ,she leaned her head against the back of the chair1 and cried bitterly1 catching at the horsehair with violent hands1 as if she longed to hurt something1 to revenge her loss even upon an object without power of feeling4 ,julian sprang up and went over to the window4 ,he looked out onto the road and watched the people moving by in the fitful sunshine beyond the dirty railings4 ,that day1 he1 too1 was in a tumult4 ,he felt like a monk who had suddenly thrown off his habit1 broken his vows1 and come forth into the world4 ,the cell and the cloister were left behind1 were things to be forgotten1 with the grating of the confessional and the dim routine of service and of asceticism4 ,he had been borne on by the wave of a brilliant1 a violent hour1 away from them4 ,let the angelus bell ring2 he no longer heard it4 ,let the drone of prayers and praises rise in a monotonous music by day and by night2 he no longer had the will to heed them4 ,for there was another music in his ears4 ,soon it would be in his heart4 ,imagine a ,trappist suddenly transported from the desert of his long silence to a gay plage on which a brass band was playing4 ,julian was that ,trappist in mind4 ,and though he knew ,cuckoo was sobbing at his back1 and though his heart held a sense of pity for her trouble1 yet he heard her grief with a strange cruelty1 at which he wondered1 without being able to soften it4 ,that afternoon it seemed to him useless for anybody to cry4 ,no grief was quite worth tears4 ,the violence of life was present with him1 gave him light and blinded him at the same time4 ,he found delight in the thought of violence1 because it held action in its grasp4 ,even cruelty was worth something4 ,was he cruel to ,cuckoo8 ,he turned from the window and looked at her1 with the observation of a nature not generally his own4 ,he noted the desolation of her hair1 and he noted1 too1 that she wore the gown he had given to her4 ,would she have put it on if she had hated him as she said she did8 ,somehow it scarcely seemed to suit her to-day4 ,it looked draggled1 and as if it had been up all night1 he thought4 ,the black back of it heaved as ,cuckoo sobbed1 like a little black wave4 ,was the eternal movement of the sea caused by some horrible1 inward grief which1 though secret1 must come thus to the eye of ,god and of the world8 ,julian found himself wondering in an unreasonable abstraction as he contemplated the crying girl4 ,then suddenly his mind swerved to more normal paths2 he was seized by the natural feeling of a man who has made a woman weep1 and had the impulse to comfort4 ,don't cry1 ,cuckoo1 he said1 coming over to her and sitting on the edge of her chair4 ,you must not4 ,let us say ,i was mad last night4 ,perhaps ,i was4 ,men are often mad1 surely4 ,to-day ,i'm sane1 and ,i want you to forgive me4 ,he put his arm round her shoulder4 ,she glanced up at him4 ,then1 with the odd penetration that so often gilds female ignorance till it dazzles and distracts1 she said quickly3 ,you don't mean what you say2 you don't really care4 ,julian was taken aback by her sharpness1 and by the self-revelation that immediately stabbed him4 ,you mustn't say that1 he began4 ,but she stopped him on the instant4 ,you don't care2 you think it's nothing4 ,so it ought to be to me1 ,i know4 ,that had perhaps actually been his thought1 the thought of a mind unimaginative to-day1 because deadened by the excitement of action4 ,but if it was his thought he hastened to deny it4 ,you know ,i don't think of you in that way1 he said4 ,you will now4 ,you do4 ,that was the scourge that had lashed her all through this weary day of miserable reaction2 that now stung her to a passion that was like the passion of purity4 ,as she made this statement there was a question in her eyes1 but it was a question of despair1 that scarcely even asked for the negative which ,julian hastened to give4 ,he was both perplexed and troubled by the unexpected violence of her emotion1 and blamed himself as the cause4 ,but1 though he blamed himself1 his regret for what was irrevocable had none of the poignancy of ,cuckoo's4 ,for a long time he had gloried in living in a cloister with ,valentine4 ,now he had left the cloister1 he did not look back to it with the curious pathos which so often gathers like moss upon even a dull and vacant past4 ,he did not1 for the moment1 look back at all4 ,action had lifted scales from his eyes1 had stirred the youth in him1 had stung him as if with bright fire1 and given him1 at a breath1 a thousand thoughts1 visions1 curiosities4 ,a sense of power came to him4 ,he did not ask whether the power made for evil or for good4 ,simply1 he was inclined to glory in it1 as a man glories in his recovered strength when he wakes from a long sleep following fatigue4 ,cuckoo1 with feeble hands1 seemed tugging to hold back this power1 with feeble voice seemed crying against it as a deadly thing4 ,and ,julian1 though he strove to console her1 scarcely sympathized with her fully4 ,he could not1 if he would1 be quite unhappy to-day4 ,only in ,cuckoo's grief he began to read a curious legend4 ,in her tears there was a passion1 in her anger a vehemence that could only spring from the depths of a nature4 ,julian began to suspect that through all her sins and degradations this girl1 his lady of the feathers1 had managed to keep shut one door1 though all the others had been ruthlessly opened4 ,and beyond this door was surely that holy of holies1 an unspoiled woman's heart4 ,from what other dwelling could rush forth such a passion for a man's respect1 such a fury to be rightly and chivalrously considered8 ,as he half vaguely realized something of the true position of ,cuckoo and of himself1 ,julian felt stirred by the wonder of life1 in which such strange blossoms flower out of the very dust4 ,he looked at ,cuckoo with new eyes4 ,she looked back at him with the old ones of a girl who loves4 ,as he looked she stopped crying4 ,perhaps the sudden understanding in his gaze thrilled her4 ,he put out his hand to touch hers1 and again repeated his negative1 but this time with greater conviction4 ,i do not think of you in that way4 ,i never shall1 he said4 ,her face was still full of doubt1 and thin with anxiety4 ,she was not reassured1 that seemed apparent2 for in her ignorance she had a strange knowledge of life1 and especially a strange intuition which guided her instincts as to the instinctive proceedings of men4 ,they always do1 she murmured4 ,why should you be different8 ,all men aren't alike1 he said1 pretending to laugh at her4 ,yes1 in some things1 though1 she contradicted4 ,they all think dirt of you for doing what they want4 ,seeing how unsatisfied she was1 and how restlessly her anxiety paced up and down1 ,julian resolved on more plain-speaking4 ,look here1 ,cuckoo1 he said1 and his voice had never sounded more boyish1 last night ,i was drunk4 ,last night ,i woke up1 and ,i'd been asleep for years4 ,eh8 she interrupted1 looking puzzled1 but he went on3 ,i was emancipated1 and ,i was mad4 ,mind1 ,i didn't mean to do you any wrong1 but if you have thought of me in a different way1 ,i'm sorry4 ,tell me what you want me to be to you1 and in future ,i'll be it4 ,hope and eagerness sprang up in her eyes then4 ,i say1 she began1 ,yes4 ,you promise8 ,i promise4 ,the dull blood rose in her tired face4 ,i want just a--just a friend1 she said1 as if almost ashamed4 ,julian smiled4 ,not a lover1 he said1 with a fleeting air of gallantry4 ,she shrank visibly from the word1 and hurriedly went on3 ,not ,i4 ,i've had too much of love4 ,the last word was spoken with a violence of contempt4 ,i want a man as likes me1 just really likes me1 as he might another man4 ,see8 ,and you'll not love him8 ,his eyes searched hers with a gaiety of inquiry that was almost laughter4 ,cuckoo looked away4 ,i'll not love him either1 she said steadily4 ,i'll just like him too4 ,seeing her earnestness and obvious emotion1 ,julian dropped his gently quizzing manner1 and became earnest1 too1 in his degree4 ,then it's a bargain1 he said4 ,you and ,i are to like each other thoroughly1 never anything more1 never anything less4 ,like two men1 eh8 ,she began at last to look relieved and happier4 ,yes1 like that1 she said4 ,ain't it--ain't it truer than the other thing8 ,there's something beastly about love2 that's what ,i always think4 ,and she spoke with the sincerest conviction4 ,when ,julian left her that day1 he shook hands with her by the door2 she stood after he had done it as if still half expectant4 ,there's a man's good-bye to a man1 he said4 ,better sort of thing than a man's good-bye to a woman1 isn't it8 ,rather6 she said hastily1 and moved back into the sitting-room4 ,she stepped on something1 and bent down to pick it up4 ,it was ,marr's photograph4 ,what's that8 ,julian asked4 ,nothing1 she said1 concealing it4 ,she had a foolish fancy that even the photograph of the creature she had feared and hated might spoil that good-bye of theirs4 ,yet even as it was1 when ,julian had gone she still seemed unsatisfied4 ,she was a woman after all1 and woman is most feminine in her farewells4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,,valentine ,,sings ,when ,valentine heard of the scene in ,marylebone ,road he smiled4 ,how extraordinary women are1 he said4 ,a man might give his life to them1 ,i suppose1 yet never understand them4 ,it would be rather jolly--making that gift1 ,i mean1 said ,julian4 ,you think so8 ,since last night4 ,i want to talk to you about that1 ,valentine1 d'you blame me8 ,not a bit4 ,only wonder at me8 ,i don't even say that4 ,no2 but of course you must wonder at me4 ,julian spoke almost wistfully1 and as if he wanted ,valentine to sweep away the suggestion4 ,last night they had been comrades4 ,to-day1 in the light and in the calm of afternoon1 ,valentine seemed much more remote1 and ,julian felt for the first time a sense of degradation4 ,he was uneasily conscious that he might have fallen in ,valentine's esteem4 ,but ,valentine reassured him4 ,i don't wonder at you1 either1 ,julian2 ,i simply envy you1 and metaphorically sit at your feet4 ,that's absurd4 ,not quite2 and ,i may not always be sitting there1 for ,i believe ,i have really got a little bit of your soul4 ,last night ,i seemed to feel it stirring within me1 and ,i liked its personality4 ,you did seem different last night1 ,julian said1 looking at ,valentine with a keen interest4 ,can it be possible that those sittings of ours have really had any effect8 ,on me they have2 not on you4 ,you haven't caught my coldness1 but ,i have gained something of your warmth4 ,doesn't that perhaps show that mine was1 after all1 the wrong nature8 ,i don't know1 ,julian said doubtfully2 you look the same4 ,do ,i8 ,exactly8 ,valentine spoke with a sort of whimsical defiance1 as if almost daring ,julian to answer1 ,yes4 ,and ,julian1 too1 seemed suddenly doubtful whether he had stated what was the fact4 ,he looked closely at ,valentine4 ,do you think your face has changed8 ,do you mean to say that8 he asked4 ,i only fancied there might be a little more humanity in it1 that was all4 ,once or twice ,i have thought ,i noticed something1 ,julian said1 still doubtfully2 but ,i believe it's imagination4 ,it doesn't stay4 ,when it does1 ,i suppose ,i shall be able thoroughly to appreciate all your temptations4 ,don't you begin to think now it's good to have them4 ,i don't know1 ,julian said4 ,but he was conscious that there had come a change in his attitude of mind towards temptation4 ,some men glory in resisting temptation1 others in yielding to it4 ,hitherto ,julian had not been able to range himself in either of these two opposed camps4 ,he had merely hated his faculty for being tempted4 ,did he entirely hate it now8 ,he could not say so to himself1 whatever he might say to others1 but something kept him from making confession of the truth to ,valentine4 ,so he professed ignorance of his own exact state of feeling2 really1 had he analyzed his reticence1 it sprang from a fine desire to give forth no breath that might tarnish the clear mirror of ,valentine's nature4 ,he would not admit a change that might make his friend again fall into the absurd dissatisfaction which he had combated on the night of their first sitting in the tent-room4 ,while they talked the afternoon had fallen into a creeping twilight4 ,in the twilight the front door bell rang4 ,some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door1 ,valentine said1 quoting ,poe4 ,it must be the doctor4 ,julian reddened suddenly4 ,i hope not1 he said4 ,what8 ,valentine cried4 ,you don't want our little doctor8 ,somehow not--to-day4 ,the door opened and ,doctor ,levillier entered4 ,valentine greeted him warmly4 ,they had not met since the night of the affray with the mastiffs4 ,in ,julian's manner there was a touch of awkwardness as he shook hands with the doctor4 ,levillier did not seem to notice it4 ,he looked very tired and rather depressed4 ,cresswell1 he said1 ,i have come to you for a tonic4 ,doctor coming to patient6 ,doctors take medicine oftener than you may suppose4 ,i'm in bad spirits to-day4 ,i've been trying to cure too many people lately4 ,it's hard work4 ,it must be4 ,sit down and forget4 ,imagine the world beautifully incurable and your occupation consequently gone4 ,the doctor sat down1 saying3 ,my imagination stops short at that feat4 ,he kept silence for a moment1 then he said3 ,you know what ,i want4 ,no1 ,valentine answered4 ,but ,i'll do anything4 ,you know that4 ,i want your music4 ,valentine suddenly became unresponsive4 ,he didn't speak at first1 and both ,julian and the doctor glanced at him in some surprise4 ,oh1 you want me to be ,david to your ,saul1 he said at length4 ,yes4 ,do1 ,val1 said ,julian4 ,i should like it too4 ,valentine1 who was sitting near the doctor1 looked down thoughtfully on the carpet4 ,i'm not in the mood to-day1 he said slowly4 ,you are always in the mood enough to cheer and rest me1 ,levillier said4 ,he had driven all the way from ,harley ,street for his medicine1 and it was obvious that he meant to have it4 ,but ,valentine still hesitated1 and a certain slight confusion became noticeable in his manner4 ,moving the toe of his right boot to and fro1 following the pattern of the carpet1 he glanced sideways at the doctor1 and an odd smile curved his lips4 ,doctor1 he said1 d'you believe that talents can die in us while we ourselves live8 ,that's a strange question4 ,it's waiting an answer4 ,well1 my answer is1 ,no2 not wholly1 unless through the approach of old age1 or the development of madness4 ,i'm neither old nor mad4 ,levillier and ,julian both looked at ,valentine with some amazement4 ,are you talking about yourself8 the doctor asked4 ,certainly4 ,why8 ,what talent is dead in you8 ,my talent for music4 ,do you know that for the last few days ,i've been able neither to sing nor play8 ,val1 you're joking1 exclaimed ,julian4 ,i am certainly not1 he answered1 and quite gravely4 ,i am simply stating a fact4 ,doctor ,levillier seemed unable to appreciate that he was speaking seriously4 ,i have come all this way to hear you sing1 he said4 ,i have never asked you in vain yet4 ,is it my fault if you ask me in vain now8 ,valentine looked him in the face and spoke with a complete sincerity4 ,the doctor returned the glance1 as he sometimes returned the glance of a patient1 very directly1 with a clear and simple gravity4 ,having done this he felt completely puzzled4 ,the talent for music has died in you8 he asked4 ,entirely4 ,i can do nothing with my piano4 ,i have even locked it4 ,as he spoke he went over to it and pulled at the lid to show them that he was speaking the truth4 ,where's the key8 asked the doctor4 ,here1 said ,valentine1 producing it from his pocket4 ,give it to me1 said the doctor4 ,valentine did so and the doctor quietly opened the piano1 drew up the music-stool1 and signed to ,valentine to sit down4 ,if you mean what you say1 the explanation must simply be that you are suffering from some form of hysteria1 he said1 rather authoritatively4 ,now sing me something4 ,no2 ,i won't let you off4 ,valentine1 sitting on the stool1 extended his hands and laid the tips of his long fingers upon the keys1 but without sounding them4 ,you insist on my trying to sing8 he asked4 ,i do4 ,i warn you1 doctor1 you will be sorry if ,i do4 ,my voice is quite out of order4 ,no matter4 ,go on1 ,val1 cried ,julian1 from his arm-chair4 ,anybody would think you were a young lady4 ,valentine bent his head1 with a quick gesture of abnegation4 ,as you will1 he said4 ,he struck his hand down upon the keys as he spoke4 ,that was the strangest prelude ever heard4 ,in their different ways ,doctor ,levillier and ,julian were both intensely fond of music1 both quickly stirred by it when it was good1 not merely classical1 but extravagant1 violent1 and in any way interesting4 ,each of them had heard ,valentine play1 not once only1 but a hundred times4 ,they knew not simply his large rpertoire of pieces and songs through and through1 but also the peculiar and characteristic progressions of his improvisations1 the ornaments he most delighted in1 the wildness of his melancholy1 the phantasy of his gaieties2 and they knew every tone of his voice1 which expressed with an exquisite realism the temperament of his soul4 ,but now1 as ,valentine's hands powerfully struck the keys1 they both started and exchanged an involuntary glance of keen surprise4 ,the first few bars gave the lie to ,valentine's assertion that he could no longer play4 ,a cataract of notes streamed from beneath his fingers1 and of notes so curiously combined1 or following each other in such a fantastic array1 that they seemed arranged in the musical pattern by an intelligence of the strangest order4 ,it is often easy for a cultivated ear to detect whether a given composition has sprung from the brain of a ,frenchman1 a ,german1 a ,hungarian1 a ,russian4 ,the wildness of ,bohemia1 too1 may be identified1 or the vague sorrow of that northern melody which seems an echo of voices heard amid the fiords or in pale valleys near the farthest cape of ,europe4 ,and then there is that large and lofty music of the stars and the spheres1 of the mightiest passions and of the deepest imaginings1 that is of no definite country1 but seems to be of its own power and beauty1 and not of the brain and heart of any one man4 ,it exists for eternity1 and its creator can only wonder and worship before it1 far from conceit as ,god was when ,he said1 ,let there be light4 ,such music1 too1 is recognized on the instant by the men who have loved and studied the secrets of the most divine of the arts1 for profound genius can utter itself as easily in five notes as in fifty4 ,but the prelude now played by ,valentine was neither the great music that is of all time and of all countries1 nor the music that is of any one country4 ,it was not even distinctively northern or southern in character1 impregnated with the mystery of the tuneless1 wonderful ,east1 or with the peculiar homeliness that stirs ,western hearts4 ,both the doctor and ,julian felt1 as they listened1 that it was music without an earthly home1 without location1 devoid of that sense of relation to humanity which links the greatness of the arts to the smallness of those who follow them4 ,eccentric the music was1 but the eccentricity of it seemed almost inhuman1 so unmannerly as to be beyond the range of the most uncouth man1 in advance of the invention of any mind1 however coarse and criminal4 ,that was the atmosphere of this prelude1 excessive1 unutterable1 crude1 sombre vulgarity of a detached and remote kind4 ,as ,levillier listened to it amazed1 he found that he did not instinctively connect the vulgarity with any human traits1 or translate the notes into acts within his experience4 ,he was simply conscious of being brought to the verge of some sphere in which the sordidness attained by our race would be sneered at as delicacy1 in which our lowest grovellings of the pigsty would be as lofty flights through the skies4 ,and the hideous eccentricity of the music1 its wanton desolation1 deepened until both ,levillier and ,julian were pale under its spell1 shrank from its ardent1 its merciless and lambent sarcasm against all things refined or beautiful4 ,the prelude was as fire and sword1 as plague and famine1 as plunder and war1 as all instruments that lay waste and that wound1 a destroying angel before whose breath the first-born withered and the very sun shrivelled into a heap of grey ashes4 ,as ,doctor ,levillier leaned forward1 moved by an irresistible impulse1 and stretched out his hand to enforce silence from this blare of deplorable melody1 ,valentine looked up at him1 into his eyes1 and began to sing4 ,the doctor's movement was arrested1 his hand dropped to his side1 he remained tense1 frigid1 his eyes fastened on ,valentine's like a man mesmerised4 ,at first he knew that he was wondering whether his brain was playing him a trick1 whether his sense of hearing had1 by some means1 become impaired1 so that he heard a voice1 not dimly1 as is the case with the partially deaf1 but wrongly1 as may be the case with the mad1 or with those who have suffered under a blow or through an injury to the brain4 ,for this voice was not ,valentine's at all1 but the voice of a stranger1 powerful1 harsh1 and malignant4 ,it rang through the room noisily4 ,a thick hoarseness dressed it as in disease1 and at moments broke it and crushed it down4 ,then it would emerge as in a sigh or wail1 pushing its way up with all the mechanical power of the voice of a wild animal1 and mounting to a desperate climax1 sinister and alarming4 ,so unlike ordinary singing was the performance of this voice that1 after the first paralysis of surprise and disgust had passed away from the doctor and ,julian1 they both felt the immediate necessity of putting a period to this deadly song1 to which no words gave the faintest touch of humanity4 ,they knew that it must attract and rivet the attention of others in the mansions1 even possibly of passers-by in the street4 ,the doctor withdrew his gaze from ,valentine's at length1 and turned hastily to ,julian1 whom he found regarding him with a glance almost of horror4 ,stop him1 ,julian murmured4 ,you6 answered ,levillier4 ,and then each knew that the other was in some nervous crisis that rendered action almost an impossibility4 ,and while they thus hesitated there came a loud1 repeated1 and unsteady knock at the door4 ,julian opened it4 ,valentine's man was standing outside1 pale and anxious4 ,good ,god1 sir1 he ejaculated4 ,what is it8 ,what on earth is the matter8 ,the man's exclamation broke through ,julian's frost of inaction4 ,he whispered to ,wade3 ,it's all right1 pushed him out and shut the door4 ,then he went straight up to the piano1 seized ,valentine's hands and dragged them from the keyboard4 ,the silence was like a sweet blow4 ,i said my voice was out of order1 ,valentine said1 simply and with a smile4 ,you did not say you had another voice1 the voice of--of a devil1 ,julian said1 almost falteringly1 for he was still shaken by his distress of the senses1 into a mental condition that was almost anger4 ,dr4 ,levillier said nothing4 ,more sensitive to musical sounds than ,julian1 he dared not speak1 lest he should say something that might stand like a fixed gulf to eternally separate him from ,valentine4 ,he knew the future that stretches out like a spear beyond one word4 ,so he sat quietly with his eyes on the ground4 ,his lips were set firmly together4 ,valentine turned to observe him4 ,doctor1 you're not angry8 he asked4 ,the doctor made no reply4 ,you know ,i warned you1 ,valentine went on4 ,you brought this thing on yourself4 ,yes1 said ,levillier4 ,but ,julian interposed4 ,no ,valentine1 he exclaimed4 ,for1 of course1 it is all a trick of yours4 ,you didn't want to sing4 ,we made you4 ,this is your revenge1 eh8 ,i didn't know you had it in you to be so--so beastly and cantankerous4 ,valentine shook his head4 ,it's no trick4 ,it's simply as ,i said4 ,my talent for music is dead4 ,you have been listening to the voice of its corpse4 ,dr4 ,levillier looked up at length4 ,you really mean that8 he said1 and there was an awakening within him of his normal ready interest in all things4 ,i mean it absolutely4 ,that is the only event in which ,i can forgive the torture you have been inflicting upon me4 ,that is the true event4 ,but it's not possible1 ,julian said4 ,it's not conceivable4 ,surely1 doctor1 you would not say-- ,the doctor interrupted him4 ,i cannot believe that ,cresswell would deliberately commit an outrage upon me1 he said4 ,and it would be an outrage to sing like that to a tired man4 ,weeks of work would not fatigue me as ,i am fatigued by ,cresswell's music4 ,julian was silent and looked uneasy4 ,valentine repeated again3 ,i couldn't help it4 ,i am sorry4 ,doctor ,levillier ignored the remark4 ,his professional interest was beginning to be aroused4 ,for the first time he felt convinced that some very peculiar and bizarre change was dawning over the youth he knew so well4 ,he wanted to watch it grow or fade1 to analyze it1 to study it1 to be aware of its exact nature4 ,but he did not want to put either ,valentine or ,julian upon the alert4 ,so he spoke lightly as he said3 ,but ,i shall soon get the better of my fatigue1 even without the usual medicine4 ,cresswell1 take my advice1 give your music a rest4 ,lock your piano again for a while4 ,it will be better4 ,valentine shut down the lid on the instant1 and turned the little key in the lock4 ,adieu to my companion of many lonely hours6 he said with a half whimsical pensiveness4 ,then1 as if in joke1 he held out his hand with the key in it1 to the doctor4 ,will you take charge of this hostage8 he asked4 ,yes1 the doctor replied4 ,quite gravely he took the key and put it into his pocket4 ,and so it was that silence fell round the ,saint of ,victoria ,street4 ,,chapter ,,iii ,,the ,,flight ,,of ,,the ,,bats ,julian had resolved to keep his compact with the lady of the feathers4 ,he had learned partially to understand the curious and beautiful attitude which her mind had assumed towards him1 polluted as it must be by the terror and working out of her fate1 by many dreary actions1 and by many vile imaginings4 ,but although he held to his promise he did not1 after that night of crisis1 resume his former career of asceticism tempered by winds of temptation which could never blow his casement open4 ,there are men who can vary the fine monotony of virtue by an occasional deliberate error1 and who return from such an excursion into dangerous by-paths drilled and comforted1 as it appears1 for further journeying along the main road of their respectability4 ,but ,julian was not such a man4 ,he resembled rather the morphia victim1 or the inebriate1 who must at all hazards abstain from any indulgence1 even the smallest1 in drug or draught1 lest the demon who has such charm for him clasp him in imperturbable arms1 and refuse with the steadfastness of a once-tricked ,venus ever to let him go again4 ,valentine's empire of five years was broken in one night4 ,at first ,julian was scarcely conscious that his descent was not momentary1 but rather tending to the permanent4 ,certainly1 at the first1 he was inclined to have the schoolboy outlook upon it1 and the schoolboy outlook is as a glance through the wrong end of a telescope1 dwindling giant sins to the stature of pigmies1 and pigmy sins to mere points of darkness which equal nothingness4 ,but1 strangely enough1 it was his interview with the weeping ,cuckoo1 that ,magdalen of the streets1 which drove the schoolboy to limbo1 and set virtue and vice for the moment rightly on the throne and in the gutter4 ,despite his comparatively dull mood and tendency to a calm of self-satisfaction in the ,marylebone ,road1 ,julian could not be wholly unmoved by the passion of ,cuckoo's regret1 nor entirely unaware that it was a passion in which he must have some share1 whether now or at some more distant time1 when the thrall of recently moved senses was weakened1 and the numbness really born of excitement melted in the quiet expansion of a manly and a reasonable calm4 ,his understanding of her passion1 none too definite at first1 gave him a moment's wonder1 both at her and at himself4 ,it seemed strange that the shattered influence of ,valentine should be of less account to him who had known and loved it than to her who had never known it4 ,it seemed stranger still that the streets--those wolves which tear one by one the rags of good from human nature1 till it stands naked and tearless beneath the lamps1 which are the eyes of the wolves--stranger that those streets should have left to one of their children a veil so bridal and so beautiful as that which hung round ,cuckoo when she wept4 ,julian was almost driven to believe that sin and purity can dwell together in one woman1 yet never have intercourse4 ,yet he knew that to be impossible4 ,the fact remained that the tarnished ,cuckoo1 in the first moments of regret1 was more conscious of his sin for him than he was conscious of it for himself2 that she led him1 with her dingy hands1 to such repentance as he experienced1 and that she1 too1 guarded him against repetition of the sin1 so far as she was concerned4 ,julian considered these circumstances2 and there was a time when they were not without effect upon him1 and when1 with the assistance of a word from ,valentine1 they might have worked upon him an easy salvation4 ,but ,valentine did not speak that word4 ,his peculiar purity had saved ,julian in the past by its mere existence4 ,its presence was enough4 ,that satis was dead now4 ,julian did not ask why4 ,nor did he find himself troubled by its decease4 ,there is nothing like action for making man unobservant4 ,julian was no longer a ship in dock1 nor even a ship riding at anchor4 ,the anchor was up1 the sails were set1 the water ran back from the vessel's prow4 ,cuckoo was not conscious of this4 ,sometimes she was subtle by intuition2 often she was not subtle at all4 ,when she understood ,julian's nature for the moment1 it was because his nature was1 for the moment1 in close relation to hers4 ,her fate was affected by it1 or its passages of arms clashed near her heart4 ,then intuition1 woman's guardian1 had eyes and ears1 saw and heard with a distinctness that was nearly brilliant4 ,but when ,julian's nature wandered1 and the wanderings did not bring it where hers was dwelling1 her observation slept soundly enough4 ,so she was not conscious at first of ,julian's gentle progress in a new direction4 ,whether ,valentine was conscious of it did not immediately appear1 for ,julian said nothing4 ,for five years he had not had a secret from ,valentine4 ,now he had to have one4 ,he ranked ,valentine with ,doctor ,levillier as too good to be told of the evil thing4 ,when he had had temptations and resisted them he had told ,valentine of them frankly4 ,now he had temptations1 and was beginning not to resist them2 he kept silence about them4 ,this silence lasted for a little while1 and then ,valentine swept it away1 involuntarily it seemed1 and by means of action1 not of words4 ,one day ,julian met a man at his club1 a lively1 devil-may-care soldier of fortune in the world4 ,the man came to where he was sitting and said3 ,so1 ,addison1 your god has fallen from his pedestal4 ,he's only a ,dagon after all4 ,julian looked at him ignorantly4 ,what god8 he asked4 ,your saint has tumbled from his perch4 ,i never believed in him4 ,he was of the species that never believes in anything except vice and the ,sporting ,times4 ,julian rejoined3 ,i don't understand you4 ,cresswell1 said the man4 ,julian began to wonder what was coming1 and silently got ready for the defence1 as he always did instinctively when ,valentine was the subject of attack4 ,what have you got to say about ,cresswell8 he asked curtly4 ,my dear chap1 now don't you get your frills out4 ,nothing that ,i should mind being said about me1 ,i assure you4 ,only ,cresswell will soon lose his nickname if he goes on as he's going now4 ,i'm in the dark4 ,that's what he likes being1 if what they say is true4 ,quite a night-bird1 ,i'm told4 ,you'd better be more explicit4 ,but the man glanced at ,julian's face and seemed to think better of it4 ,he moved off muttering3 ,damned rot1 minding a little chaff4 ,and when we're all in the same boat too4 ,julian sat pondering over his veiled remarks4 ,they surprised him1 but at first he was inclined to consider them as meaningless and unfounded as so much of the gossip of the clubs4 ,men like ,valentine must always be a target for the arrows of the cynical4 ,julian had heard his sanctity laughed at in billiard-rooms and in bars many times1 and had simply felt an easy contempt for the laughers1 who could not understand that any nature could be finer than their own4 ,but to-day his own faint change of life--as yet in its gentle beginnings--led him presently to wonder1 literally for the first time1 whether there was a side of ,valentine's life that was not merely a side of feeling1 but of action1 and that he knew nothing of4 ,if it were so1 ,julian felt an inward conviction that the very nearest weeks of the past had seen its birth4 ,he remembered once more ,valentine's idle remark about his weariness of goodness1 and wondered whether--in violation of his nature1 in violent revolt against his own nobility--he was living at last that commonplace1 theatrical puppet-play of the world1 a double life4 ,valentine a night-bird6 ,what did that mean8 ,and then ,julian thought of the great wheeling army of the bats1 whose evolutions every night of creation witnesses4 ,in the day they do not sleep1 but they are hidden4 ,their wings are folded so closely as to be invisible4 ,nobody could tell that they ever flew through shadowy places1 seeking that which never satiates1 although it may transform1 the appetite4 ,nobody could tell how the twilight affects them when it comes2 how1 in their obscurity1 they have to keep a guard lest the involuntary fluttering of a half-spread pinion betray them4 ,and then when the twilight1 the blessed one of the twin twilights1 one in course towards day1 one in course towards night1 has deepened and has died1 they can dare to be themselves1 to spread their short wings1 and to flutter on their vagrant and monotonous courses4 ,it is a great though secret army--the army of the bats4 ,it scours through cities4 ,no weather will keep it quite restful in camp4 ,no darkness will blind it into immobility4 ,the mainspring of sin beats in it as drums beat in a ,soudanese fantasia1 as blood beats in a heart4 ,the air of night is black with the movement of the bats4 ,they fly so thickly round some lives that those lives can never see the sky1 never catch a glimpse of the stars1 never hear the wings of the angels1 but always and ever the wings of the bats4 ,nor can such lives hear the whisper of ,nature and of the sirens who walk purely with ,nature4 ,the murmur of the bats drowns all other sounds1 and makes a hoarse and monotonous music4 ,and the eyes of the bats are hungry1 and the breath of the bats is poisonous1 and the flight of the bats is a charade of the tragedy of the flight of the devils in hell4 ,how could ,valentine be one of the bats8 ,it seemed to ,julian that if ,valentine tried to join them they would fall upon him1 as certain birds will fall upon one who is not of their tribe1 and kill him4 ,and yet8 ,yet ,julian began to know that he had been aware of a change in ,valentine4 ,he had believed it to be momentary4 ,perhaps it was not momentary4 ,perhaps ,valentine was concealing his new mode of life from some strange idea of chivalry towards ,julian4 ,as ,julian pondered he grew excited4 ,he began to long to tell ,valentine now what he had not liked to tell him before4 ,suddenly he got up and hastened out of the club4 ,he drove to ,victoria ,street4 ,but ,valentine was not at home4 ,i suppose ,mr4 ,cresswell goes out every night ,wade8 he asked the man1 after a moment of hesitation4 ,wade looked very much astonished at such a question coming from ,julian4 ,yes1 sir4 ,at least1 most nights1 ,wade answered4 ,i see1 ,julian said4 ,he stood a minute longer4 ,then he turned away1 after an abrupt3 ,say ,i called1 will you8 ,wade looked after him as he went down the stairs1 with the raised eyebrows of the confidential butler4 ,that night was warm and gentle1 with a full moon riding in clear heavens4 ,the season was growing towards its full height1 and the streets were thronged with carriages till a late hour4 ,there is one long pavement that is generally trodden by many feet at every time of the year1 and in almost every hour of the wheeling twenty-four4 ,it is the pavement on which the legend of ,london's disgrace is written in bold characters of defiance4 ,men from distant lands1 having made the pilgrimage to our ,mecca1 the queen1 by right of magnitude at least1 of the world's cities1 stare aghast upon the legend1 almost as ,belshazzar stared upon the writing on the wall4 ,colonists seeking for the first time the comfortable embrace of that mother country which has been the fable of their childhood and the dream of their laborious years of maturity1 gaze with withering hearts at this cancer in her bosom4 ,pure women turn their eyes from it4 ,children seek it that they may learn in one sharp moment the knowledge of good and evil4 ,the music of the feet on that pavement has called women to despair and men to destruction2 has sung in the ears of innocence till they grew deaf to virtue1 and murmured round the heart of love till it became the heart of lust4 ,and that pavement is the camping-ground of the army of the bats4 ,on wet nights they flit drearily through the rain4 ,in winter they glide like shadows among the revealing snows4 ,but in the time of flowers and of soft airs1 when the moon at the full swims calmly above the towers of ,westminster1 and the ,thames rests rocked in a silver dream among the ebony wharves and barges1 the flight of the bats is gay and their number is legion4 ,and their circle is joined by many who are but recruits1 or as camp-followers1 treading in the track of those whose names are on the roll-call4 ,the lady of the feathers rarely failed to join the evening flight of the bats4 ,her acquaintance with ,julian1 even her curious passion for his respect and distant treatment1 had not won her to different evenings1 or to a new mode of life4 ,but her feeling for ,julian led her to ignore now the fact of this fate of hers4 ,she chose to set him aside from it1 to keep him for a friend1 as an innocent peasant-girl might keep some recluse wandering after peace into her solitude4 ,julian was to be the one man who looked on her with quiet1 habitual eyes1 who touched her with calm1 gentle hand1 who spoke to her with the voice of friendship1 demanding nothing1 and thought of her with a feeling that was neither greed nor contempt4 ,and that one fatal night in which ,cuckoo's private and secluded heart was so bitterly wounded she put out of her recollection with a strength of determination soldier-like and almost fierce4 ,it lay in the past1 but she did not treat the past as a woman treats a drawer full of old1 used things1 opening it in quiet moments and turning over its contents with a lingering and a loving hand4 ,she shut it1 locked it almost angrily1 and never1 never looked into it4 ,julian was to be her friend of leisure1 never associated in any way with her tragic hours4 ,all other men were the same1 stamped with a similar hall-mark4 ,he only was unstamped and was beautiful4 ,on this evening of summer1 ,cuckoo1 as usual1 joined the flight of the bats with a tired wing4 ,the heat tried her4 ,her cheeks were white as ivory under their cloud of rouge4 ,her mouth was more plaintive even than usual1 and her heart felt dull and heavy4 ,as she got out of the omnibus at the ,circus one of her ankles turned1 and she gave an awkward jump that set all the feathers on her hat in commotion1 and made the newspaper boys laugh at her scornfully4 ,they knew her by sight1 and joked her every evening when she arrived4 ,at first--that was a long while ago--she had resented their remarks1 still more their shrewd unboyish questions1 and had answered them with angry bitterness4 ,but--well1 that was a long while ago4 ,now she simply recovered her footing1 paused a moment on the kerbstone to arrange her dress1 and then drifted away into the crowd slowly1 without even glancing at her nightly critics1 who were aware of a new bow on her gown1 recognized with imperturbable sang-froid the change in a trimming or the alteration of a waist-belt4 ,slowly she walked along4 ,piccadilly bats fly slowly4 ,the moon went up4 ,she had not met her fate4 ,in the throng she saw ,valentine pass4 ,he looked at her with a smile4 ,she turned her eyes hastily away4 ,she had met him on several evenings of late1 but had never told ,julian so1 for she began to understand now his reverence for ,valentine1 and a new-born1 ladylike instinct taught her not to hurt that reverence4 ,valentine disappeared4 ,he had not tried to speak with her4 ,once1 on encountering her1 he had paused1 but ,cuckoo glided behind two large ,frenchwomen and escaped with the adroitness of a snake in the grass4 ,apparently he recognized her movement as one of retreat1 and was resolved to leave her alone1 for he had never followed her since that day1 although he always lifted his hat when he saw her4 ,the crowd grew thicker4 ,it was very heterogeneous1 but ,cuckoo did not thread it with the attention of a psychologist1 or examine it with the pains of a philosopher of the dark hours4 ,she stared listlessly at the faces of the men1 and if they stared back at her1 smiled mechanically with a thin and stereotyped coquetry1 moving on vacantly the while in a sort of dream1 such as a tired journalist may fall into as he drives his pen over the paper1 leaving a train of familiar words and phrases behind it4 ,there are many dreamers like ,cuckoo on the thin riband of that pavement1 moving in a maze created by everlasting custom1 beneath their flowers1 half senseless to life1 and yet alive to the least human notice1 behind the stretched barriers of their veils4 ,she walked from the ,circus to ,hyde ,park corner and back again2 then turned1 with an ever-growing lassitude1 to repeat the desolate experience4 ,by this time the playhouses had vomited their patrons into the night1 and locomotion was becoming more difficult4 ,sometimes there was a block1 and ,cuckoo found herself hung up1 as she called it1 squashed in a mass of people1 all intent on some scheme of their own1 and resentful of the enforced interruption to their movement4 ,then1 by some unknown and mysterious means1 the human knot was untied1 and all the atoms murmured on again through the ocean of the town4 ,and still ,cuckoo was alone1 and still the mechanical smile came and went upon her lips1 and her feet seemed to grow heavier and heavier1 till they were as cannon-balls to be lifted and dragged by her protesting muscles4 ,and still her senses seem to become more and more drugged by the familiarity of it all1 the familiarity of smile1 of tired limbs1 of incessant slow motion1 of staring faces and watchful eyes2 the familiarity of the cabs rolling home towards ,knightsbridge and farther ,kensington1 with a dull1 harsh noise2 the familiarity of personal1 intense loneliness and longing for quiet2 the familiarity of the knowledge that quiet could only be earned by failure1 and that failure meant lack of food1 debt1 and deeper degradation4 ,at last--perhaps it was owing to the unusual heat of the night--,cuckoo became so over-fatigued that she was scarcely conscious what she was doing4 ,her smile was utterly devoid of meaning1 and had she been suddenly asked1 she could not have told whether she was at the ,regent ,street end of ,piccadilly1 at ,hyde ,park ,corner1 or midway between the two4 ,once more there was a block4 ,the people were pressed1 or surged of their own will1 together1 and ,cuckoo found herself leaning against some stranger4 ,this sudden support gave to her an equally sudden knowledge of the extent to which she was fatigued1 and when the block ceased and the stranger--unconscious that he was being used as a species of pillow--moved away1 ,cuckoo almost fell to the ground4 ,stretching out her hands to save herself1 she caught hold of a man's arm1 and as she did so her eyes moved to his face4 ,it was ,julian1 and1 before her grasp had time to fix all his attention on her1 ,cuckoo saw why he was in ,piccadilly4 ,in an instant all her lassitude was gone2 all the fatigue1 so passionless and complete1 vanished4 ,an extraordinary warmth1 that of fire1 not of summer1 swept into her heart4 ,she stood still and trembled1 as if from the accession of the abrupt strength that flows from an energy purely nervous4 ,hulloh1 ,cuckoo6 ,julian said4 ,she nodded at him4 ,he looked down at her1 not quite knowing what to say1 for he knew1 by this time1 that she objected to any hint from him on the subject of her proceedings of the night4 ,that was ignored between them1 and when they met the situation was that of a lodger in the ,marylebone ,road holding friendly intercourse with a dweller in ,mayfair1 nothing more and nothing less4 ,taking a stroll8 ,julian said at last4 ,isn't it a lovely night8 ,yes4 ,i say1 ,i'm tired1 she answered4 ,shall ,i take you somewhere8 he asked4 ,yes1 do1 she said4 ,they moved towards the ,circus4 ,where shall we go8 ,julian said4 ,have you any pet place8 ,i don't know--oh1 the ,monico1 she replied4 ,the restaurant was right in front of them4 ,they dodged across to the island1 thence to the opposite pavement1 and passed in silently4 ,the outer hall was thronged with people4 ,so was the long inner room1 and for a moment they stood in the doorway looking for a table4 ,at length ,julian caught sight of an empty one far down under the clock at the end4 ,they made their way to it and sat down4 ,what will you have8 ,julian asked ,cuckoo4 ,she considered1 sinking back on the plush settee4 ,a glass of stout1 ,i think1 and-- ,and a bun1 he interposed1 smiling in recollection of their first interview4 ,but ,cuckoo did not smile or seem to recognize the allusion4 ,please1 ,i'll have a sandwich1 she said4 ,julian ordered it1 the stout1 a cup of coffee and a liqueur brandy for himself4 ,while the waiter was getting the things he noticed ,cuckoo's extreme and active gravity1 a gravity which seemed oddly to give her quite a formidable appearance under her feathers4 ,despite the obvious weariness written on her face1 there was somehow a look of energy about her1 the aspect of a person full of intention and purpose4 ,why1 ,cuckoo1 he said1 you look like a young judge about to deliver a sentence on somebody4 ,and indeed that was just how her expression and pose behind the marble-topped table affected him4 ,just then the waiter brought the stout and the other things4 ,cuckoo removed her cheap kid gloves1 took the tumbler in her thin fingers and sipped at it4 ,after a sip or two she put the glass down1 and said to ,julian3 ,i say4 ,well8 ,what are you about to-night8 ,the question came from her painted lips very sternly4 ,it seemed addressed by one who had a right to condemn1 and who was going to exercise that right4 ,julian was astonished by her tone1 and had an instant's inclination to resent it4 ,but then he thought that there was nothing in the words themselves1 and that the odd manner probably sprang simply from fatigue or some other womanish1 undivined cause4 ,so he answered3 ,just taking a stroll4 ,it's so fine1 and began to drink his coffee4 ,but ,cuckoo quickly showed that her manner meant all that it had seemed to say4 ,that ain't it1 she said1 with emphatic excitement1 though she spoke in a low voice because of the people all round them4 ,you know it ain't4 ,julian was just lighting a cigarette4 ,the match was flaming in his hand4 ,he let it go out as he looked at her4 ,what do you mean8 he asked4 ,what's the matter8 ,what are you doin'8 she retorted4 ,that's what ,i want to know4 ,not as ,i need to ask1 though1 she added1 bitterly4 ,julian was distinctly taken aback by the emotion in her manner1 and the passion that she tried to keep quiet in her voice4 ,he flushed rather red1 a boyish trick which he could never quite get over4 ,i don't know what you're talking about1 he said1 lighting another match1 and this time making it do its office on his cigarette4 ,cuckoo tossed her head in a way that was not wholly free from vulgarity1 but that was certainly wholly unconscious and expressive of real feeling4 ,oh yes1 you do1 she rejoined4 ,then after a moment's silence1 she added1 with bitter emphasis1 and a movement of her hand in the direction of the door3 ,you out in that crowd1 and doing the same as all of them8 ,as she said the words tears started under her blackened eyelashes4 ,if ,julian had been taken aback before she spoke the last sentence1 he was ten times more astonished now4 ,the whole situation struck him as unexampled1 and but for something so passionate in the girl's manner that it overrode the natural feeling of the moment1 his sense of humour must have moved him to a smile4 ,it was strange indeed to sit at midnight under the electric moons of the ,monico1 and to be passionately condemned for dissipation by a girl with a painted face1 dyed hair1 and that terribly unmistakable imprint of the streets4 ,but ,julian could not smile4 ,something in ,cuckoo's demeanour1 something so vehement and so unconscious as to be not far from dignity1 impressed him and took him well beyond the gates of laughter4 ,why--but you were out in the crowd too1 he said4 ,i6 she said sharply1 and with a touch of scathing contempt for herself1 yet impatient1 too1 of any introduction of her entity into the discussion2 of course ,i've got to be there4 ,what's that to do with it8 ,really1 ,cuckoo1 ,julian began1 but she interrupted him4 ,i ain't you1 she said4 ,no1 of course1 but-- ,i'm different4 ,it's nothing to me where ,i go of a night1 or what ,i do4 ,but you ain't got to be there4 ,you needn't go1 need you8 ,nobody need1 he said4 ,but-- ,then what d'you do it for8 she reiterated1 still in the same tone of one sitting on high in condemnation1 and moved by her own utterance to an increasing excitement4 ,this time she paused for a reply1 and set her rouged lips together with the obvious intention of not speaking until ,julian had plainly put forward his defence4 ,strange to say1 her manner had impressed him with a ridiculous feeling that defence of some kind was actually necessary4 ,it was a case of one denizen of the dock putting on the black cap to sentence another4 ,julian glanced at ,cuckoo before he made any reply to her last question4 ,if he had had any intention of not answering it at all1 of calmly disposing1 in a word or two1 of her right to interrogate him on his proceedings1 her fixed and passionate eyes killed it instantly4 ,he moved his coffee-cup round uneasily in the saucer4 ,men do many things they needn't do1 as well as women1 he began4 ,i must have my amusements4 ,why not8 ,at the word amusements she drew in her breath with a little hiss of contempt4 ,julian flushed again4 ,you're the last person1 he began1 and then caught himself up short4 ,it must be confessed that she was very aggravating1 and that the position she took up was wholly untenable4 ,having checked himself1 he said more calmly3 ,what's the good of talking about it8 ,i live as other men do1 naturally4 ,are you a beast too1 then8 she asked4 ,she still kept her voice low1 and the sentence came with all the more effect on this account4 ,i don't see that1 ,julian exclaimed1 evidently stung4 ,women are always ready to say that about men4 ,cuckoo broke into a laugh4 ,she picked up her glass1 and drank all that was in it4 ,putting it down empty1 she laughed again1 with her eyes on ,julian4 ,that sound of mirth chilled him utterly4 ,why d'you laugh8 he said4 ,i don't know--thinkin' that you're to be like all the rest1 ,i suppose1 she answered4 ,like all them brutes out there1 and him too4 ,him1 said ,julian4 ,whom are you speaking of8 ,she had not meant to say those last words1 and tried to get out of an answer by asking for something more to drink4 ,chartreuse1 she said1 with the oddest imaginable accent4 ,julian ordered it hastily1 and then immediately repeated his question4 ,never mind1 ,cuckoo replied4 ,it don't matter4 ,but he was not to be denied4 ,d'you mean ,valentine8 he asked4 ,she nodded her head slowly4 ,although ,julian had half suspected that ,valentine might be there this confirmation of his suspicion gave him a decided shock4 ,oh1 he was just walking home from some party1 he exclaimed4 ,p'raps4 ,i'm certain of it4 ,he don't matter1 she said with a hard accent4 ,she drank the chartreuse very slowly1 and seemed to be reflecting1 and a change came over her face4 ,it softened as much as a painted face can soften under dyed hair4 ,dearie1 she said1 it makes me sick to see you like the rest4 ,i never pretended to be anything different4 ,but you was different1 she asserted4 ,i know you was different4 ,how could she have divined the change in ,julian that one night of the ,empire had wrought8 ,i say1 she went on1 and her voice was trembling with eagerness1 you've got to tell me somethin'4 ,well8 ,that night ,i--,i--it wasn't me made you different1 was it8 ,and as she spoke ,julian knew that it was she4 ,perhaps a fleeting expression in his face--telling naked truth as expressions may1 though words belie them--made her understand1 for her cheeks turned grey beneath the paint on them4 ,i wish ,i'd killed myself long ago1 she said in a whisper4 ,hush6 he exclaimed1 cursing his tell-tale features4 ,i'm not different2 and if ,i was you could have nothing to do with it4 ,she said no more1 but he saw by her brooding expression that she clung to her intuition1 and knew what he denied4 ,the hands of the clock fixed on the wall above their heads pointed to the half-hour after midnight4 ,the pale and weary waiters were racing to and fro clearing the tables1 dodging this way and that with trays1 stealing along with arms full of long-stemmed1 thick tumblers1 eager for rest4 ,the electric moons gave a sudden portentous wink4 ,time6 a voice cried4 ,people began to get up and move out1 exchanging loud good-nights4 ,the long room slowly assumed an aspect of desertion and greedy desolation4 ,we must go1 ,julian said4 ,cuckoo woke out of that reverie1 which seemed so chilly1 so terrible even4 ,she glanced at ,julian1 and her eyes were again full of tears4 ,he was standing1 and he bent down to her with his two hands resting upon the marble of the table4 ,he bent down and then suddenly stooped lower1 lower1 almost glaring into her eyes4 ,she went back in her seat a little1 half frightened4 ,what's it8 she murmured4 ,but ,julian only remained fixedly looking into her eyes4 ,in the pool of the tears of them he saw two tiny shadowy flames1 flickering1 as he thought1 but quite clear1 distinct1 unmistakable4 ,and there came a thick beating in his side4 ,his heart beat hard4 ,each time he had seen the vision of the flame he had been instantly impressed with a sense of strange mystery1 as if at the vision of some holy thing1 a flame upon a prayer-blessed altar1 a flame ascending from a tear-washed sacrifice4 ,and now he saw this thing that he fancied holy burning behind the tears in ,cuckoo's eyes6 ,cuckoo got up4 ,come on1 she said1 abruptly4 ,julian followed her out of the caf4 ,the dream of the moon was with them as they came to the entrance1 clear as a quiet soul1 directly above them in a clear sky4 ,julian looked up at it1 but ,cuckoo looked1 with eyes that were almost sullen1 at the night panorama of the ,circus4 ,they waited a moment on the step4 ,julian was lighting a cigar1 and many other voluble men1 most of them ,french or ,italian1 were doing likewise4 ,having lighted it1 and given a strong puff or two1 ,julian said to ,cuckoo3 ,shall ,i drive you home8 ,i ain't going home yet1 she replied doggedly4 ,are you8 ,he hesitated4 ,are you1 or aren't you8 she reiterated4 ,while she spoke1 in her voice that was often a little hoarse1 a young voice with a thread in it1 he realized that somehow she--painted sinner as she was--had managed to make him ashamed of himself4 ,or was it that an awe had come to his soul with that strange flame8 ,in any case his mood had risen from the old night mood of a young man to something higher1 something that could not be satisfied in the sordid way of the world4 ,i think ,i shall go home1 he said4 ,right1 she answered1 and for the first time there was an accent of pleasure in her voice4 ,but ,i'll walk a little way with you first1 he added4 ,together they crossed the ,circus and mingled with the humming mob at the corner of ,regent ,street4 ,they pushed their way towards ,piccadilly with difficulty1 for numbers of people at this hour do not attempt to walk1 but stand stock still1 despite the cry of the policeman1 staring at the passers-by1 or talking and laughing with the women who throng the pavement4 ,having elbowed their way along as far as the ,st4 ,james restaurant1 they began to move with a little more ease1 and could have talked as they went1 but apparently neither of them felt conversational4 ,julian was comparing the vision of the moon with the vision of the street1 a comparison no doubt often made even by young men in ,london on still nights of summer1 suggestive to most people1 perhaps1 of much the same thoughts--yet a comparison to thrill1 as all the wild and eternal contrasts of life thrill4 ,and ,julian was thinking1 too1 rather sombrely of himself4 ,cuckoo walked on beside him1 looking straight before her4 ,quite unconsciously1 with the unconsciousness of a mechanical toy1 expressive at the turning of a key in its interior1 she had assumed her thin1 invariable1 professional smile4 ,it came to her face in a flash when the pavement of ,piccadilly came to her feet4 ,she did not know it was there4 ,the moon looked down on it1 yet1 if ,julian had been able to see1 perhaps the little flame still flickered in those eyes which had been full of tears4 ,but a little beyond ,st4 ,james's ,hall their silent progress was arrested1 for they both saw ,valentine pass them swiftly in the crowd4 ,he saw them1 too1 but did not attempt to speak to them4 ,with a smile at ,julian he walked on4 ,julian gazed after him1 then turned to ,cuckoo4 ,and you saw him here to-night before ,i met you8 he asked4 ,yes4 ,how long ago8 ,two hours1 ,i dare say4 ,after that ,julian ceased to think of the vision of the moon4 ,but presently he noticed that ,cuckoo was walking more slowly4 ,you're tired8 he said4 ,she nodded4 ,have you been out all the evening8 ,she nodded again4 ,take a cab and go home4 ,i'll pay the man4 ,no2 ,i can't go yet4 ,why not8 ,i can't1 she repeated1 and a mulish look of obstinacy came into her face4 ,julian guessed the miserable reason4 ,let me-- he began1 and in a moment his hand would have been in his pocket4 ,she stopped him4 ,i told you as ,i never would1 not from you1 she said4 ,and ,i wouldn't1 all the more since--since that night4 ,then1 after an instant1 she added3 ,but you'd better leave me to myself now4 ,and then ,julian realized that his presence and company were ruining her chance4 ,that thought turned him sick and dull4 ,i can't1 he began almost desperately4 ,she gave with her hand a little twitch at his4 ,i say1 she whispered1 and she spoke to him as if to ,jessie in the tiny flannel-lined basket1 ,go bials6 will you8 ,but you8 he said1 and there was something that was half a sob in his voice4 ,i can't4 ,but you--go bials4 ,and then1 to please her1 he held up his hand and hailed a hansom4 ,getting in he gave the direction of his rooms1 loud enough for her to hear4 ,she stood at the edge of the pavement and nodded at him as she heard it4 ,then she turned away1 and ,julian saw the feathers in her big hat waving1 as she joined once more the flight of the bats4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,the ,,flame ,,in ,a ,,woman',s ,,eyes ,that girl loves you1 ,valentine had said1 when ,julian told him of ,cuckoo's strange fragmentary sermon in the ,monico1 and of its effect upon himself4 ,valentine spoke without any emotion or sympathy1 and the absence of feeling from his voice seemed almost to bring a certain slight vexation into his manner4 ,the love of ,cuckoo1 perhaps naturally1 was to his fine nature a thing of no account1 or even of ill account4 ,at least1 his look and manner faintly said so to ,julian4 ,but if she loves me1 ,julian said1 and a certain wonder came into his heart at the thought1 surely she wouldn't behave to me as she does1 turning me from a lover into a friend1 and keeping me almost angrily in the latter relation4 ,perhaps not1 ,valentine said languidly4 ,no doubt he understood what ,julian did not entirely understand1 the subtleties of such a nature as ,cuckoo's1 a nature hammered out thin by cruel circumstance1 drilled till it found the unspeakable ordinary and the loathsome inevitable1 worn as a stone by dropping water till the water1 ceasing to fall1 must have left a loneliness of surprise4 ,julian did not fully realize that ,cuckoo's life might well lead her to display real affection1 if she possessed it1 by ways the reverse of those naturally sought and gloried in by pure and protected women4 ,to give is the act natural to the love of such women4 ,it is at least their impulse1 although restrained within strict limits1 perhaps1 by exigencies of conscience or of religion4 ,but to give is the impulse1 giving being the unusual act1 the strange new act in them4 ,cuckoo's profession being an ordered routine of giving1 how could she show her love better than by withholding8 ,to be to ,julian as she was to all men could prove nothing1 either to him or to herself4 ,to be to him as she was not to any other man whom she knew must mean something1 argue something4 ,so1 at least1 dimly and without mental self-consciousness1 her mind reasoned rather instinctively1 for the lady of the feathers was1 above all things1 instinctive4 ,instead of logic1 ethics1 morals1 the equipment of sage1 philosopher1 good women1 she had instinct only4 ,instinct told her the secret meaning of reticence in her relations with ,julian4 ,when she said good-bye to him1 the hand-shake that passed between them had become something more to her than a kiss4 ,she kissed so many whom she hated1 so many who were dolls of vice to her1 who were walking sins1 incarnate lust shadows1 scarcely men4 ,to be to ,julian what another woman might have been would be to seem to make him as all those dolls of horrible ,london4 ,so ,cuckoo set him apart by her relations towards him1 as she had previously set him apart in her heart4 ,she pushed the chair of her beloved from the heart where the dolls sat night after night warming their expressive hands at the cheap and ever-burning fire4 ,she pushed it out into a circle of cold that was the only sacred thing she could supply4 ,the world and her situation in it had bereft her of the power of even proving the simplicity of love by simplicity of natural action4 ,she had to find a new way to show an old worship4 ,she found it in refusal1 where others find it in assent4 ,but1 after all1 she was a woman1 and perhaps she wished ,julian to be an anchorite4 ,that was what ,valentine meant when1 after ,julian's account of ,cuckoo's anger on finding him in ,piccadilly1 he simply said3 ,that girl loves you4 ,the sentence stirred ,julian to a surprise warmer than seemed reasonable1 for he had really known that ,cuckoo had some feeling for him4 ,but he had always at the back of his mind the idea1 common to so many1 that such a girl as ,cuckoo could not be capable of the real love1 the love ascetic1 not the love ,bacchanalian4 ,love among the roses is easy1 but not many can welcome love among the nettles2 and1 moreover1 ,julian1 despite his knowledge of the thorny paths along which ,cuckoo walked habitually1 along which all her poor sisterhood walked incessantly1 had not entirely disabused himself of the fallacy that a life such as hers was1 in some vague1 undefined and indefinable way1 a life of pleasure4 ,even when we know a thing to be1 we often cannot feel it to be4 ,knowledge in the mind does not inevitably bring to the birth sensation in the heart1 or even the mental apprehension1 half reasonable and half emotional1 on the base and foundation of which it is comparatively easy to ground acts that indicate an understanding4 ,from ,valentine's remark ,julian understood him to mean that ,cuckoo's anger was entirely caused by jealousy1 not at all by a fine desire of protecting some one stronger than herself from that which she knew so well through her own original weakness4 ,yet that was what ,julian had been led to believe1 not by any hint of ,cuckoo's1 but by something within himself4 ,i don't see why she should love me1 he said1 presently4 ,you're well off1 ,julian1 ,valentine rejoined4 ,almost for the first time in his life ,julian felt angry with ,valentine4 ,you don't know her at all1 he said1 hotly4 ,i know her class4 ,julian looked at him1 and his anger died1 as his mind sailed off on a new tack4 ,her class6 ,then you must have been studying it lately1 ,val4 ,not long ago you could not have studied it4 ,your nature would not have let you4 ,that is true enough4 ,were you studying it when we met you the other night8 ,yes4 ,with what result8 ,julian asked with eager curiosity4 ,that ,i understand something ,i never understood before--the charm of sin4 ,julian was greatly surprised at this deliverance of his friend1 who uttered it in his coldly pure voice1 looking serenely high-minded and even loftily intellectual4 ,you find the charm of sin in ,piccadilly8 ,i begin to find it everywhere1 in every place in which human beings gather together4 ,you no longer feel yourself aloof from the average man1 then8 ,valentine pressed his right hand slowly upon ,julian's shoulder4 ,no longer1 he answered quietly4 ,julian1 you and ,i are emerging together from the hermitage in which we have dwelt retired for so long4 ,i always thought you would emerge some day4 ,i never thought ,i should4 ,but so it is4 ,don't think that ,i am standing still while you are travelling4 ,it is not so4 ,the strength of his hand's grip upon ,julian's shoulder seemed to indicate a violence of feeling which the tones of his voice did not imply4 ,julian listened1 and then said1 in a hesitating1 irresolute manner3 ,yes1 ,i see1 ,val2 but ,i say1 where are we travelling8 or1 at least1 where shall we travel if we don't pull up1 if we keep on8 ,that's the thing1 ,i suppose4 ,as he spoke he did not tell himself that it was nothing less than the disconnected and ungrammatical remarks of the lady of the feathers which prompted this consideration1 this prophetic movement of his mind4 ,yet so it was4 ,and when ,valentine replied he1 the saint1 was fighting against her1 the sinner1 and surely in the cause of evil4 ,for he said lightly3 ,after all1 do human souls travel8 ,i often think they are like eyes looking at a whirling zoetrope4 ,it is the zoetrope that travels4 ,you think souls don't go up or down8 ,i think that none of us knows really much about souls1 and that1 after all1 it is best not to bother ourselves too much about them4 ,marr thought a great deal about them4 ,i used to fancy that as some maniacs have been known to murder people in order to tear out their hearts1 he could have murdered them to tear out their souls4 ,valentine took his hand from ,julian's shoulder4 ,marr is dead and forgotten1 he said almost sternly4 ,i can't quite forget him1 ,val2 and ,i still feel as if he had had some influence over both of us4 ,we have changed since those days of the sittings1 since that night of your trance and his death4 ,julian was looking at ,valentine in a puzzled way while he spoke4 ,valentine met his eyes calmly4 ,if ,i have changed1 he said slowly1 it cannot be in essentials4 ,look at me4 ,is my face altered8 ,is my expression different8 ,no1 ,valentine4 ,julian said the words with a sort of return to confidence and to greater happiness4 ,to look into the face of his friend set all his doubts at rest4 ,no man with eyes like that could ever fall into anything which was really and radically evil4 ,valentine perhaps was playing with life as a boy plays with a dog1 making life jump up at him1 dance round him1 just to see the strength and grace of the creature1 its possibilities of quick motion1 its powers of varied movement4 ,where could be the harm of that8 ,and what ,valentine could do safely he began to think he might do safely too4 ,he gave expression to his thought with his usual frankness4 ,you mean you are beginning to play with life8 he said4 ,that is it exactly4 ,i am putting life through its paces4 ,after all1 no man is worth his salt if he shuts himself up from that which is placed in the world for him to see1 to know1 and perhaps--but only after he has seen and known it--to reject4 ,to do that is like living in the midst of a number of people who may be either very agreeable or the reverse1 and declining ever to be introduced to them on the ground that they must all be horrible and certain to do one an infinity of harm4 ,yes1 yes1 ,i see4 ,then you think that ,cuckoo is jealous of me8--that that was all she meant8 ,julian again returned to the old question4 ,valentine replied3 ,i feel sure of it4 ,women are always governed by their hearts4 ,so much so that my last sentence is a truism1 scarcely worthy the saying4 ,besides1 my dear ,julian1 what would it matter if she were not8 ,what could the attitude of such a woman on any subject under the sun matter to you8 ,the words were not spoken without intentional sarcasm4 ,they stung ,julian a little1 but did not lead him1 from any sense of false shame1 to a feeble concealment of his real feeling4 ,it does seem absurd1 ,i dare say1 he said4 ,but she's--well1 she's not an ordinary woman1 ,val4 ,let us hope not4 ,no2 you don't understand4 ,there's something strong about her4 ,what she says might really matter1 ,i think1 to a cleverer man than ,i4 ,she knows men1 and then1 ,valentine1 there's something else4 ,he stopped4 ,there was a queer look of mystery in his face4 ,something else6 ,what is it8 ,what can there be8 ,i saw the flame as if it was burning in her eyes4 ,valentine made an abrupt movement4 ,it might have been caused by surprise1 annoyance1 anger1 or simply by the desire to fidget which overcomes every one1 not paralyzed1 at some time or another4 ,his action knocked over a chair1 and he stooped to pick it up and set it in its place before he spoke4 ,then he said3 ,the flame1 you say6 ,what on earth is your theory about this extraordinary flame8 ,you seem to attach a strange importance to it4 ,yet it can only be the fire of a fancy1 a jet from the imagination4 ,tell me1 have you any theory about it1 honestly8 and if so1 what is it8 ,julian was rather taken aback by this very sledgehammer invitation4 ,hitherto the flame1 and his thought of it1 had seemed to have the pale vagueness and the mystery of a dream4 ,when the flame appeared1 it is true1 he was oppressed by a sense of awe2 but the awe was indefinite1 blurred1 resisting analysis1 and quite inexplicable to another4 ,i did not say ,i had any theory about it1 he answered4 ,but then1 why do you consider it at all8 ,and why seem to think that its supposed presence in the eyes of a woman makes that woman in any way different from others8 ,but ,i did not say ,i thought so1 ,julian said1 rather hastily4 ,how you jump to conclusions to-day6 ,you implied it1 and you meant it4 ,now1 didn't you8 ,perhaps ,i may have4 ,this is all too much for me1 ,valentine said1 showing now a very unusual irritation4 ,he even began to pace up and down the room with a slow1 soft footstep1 monotonous and mechanical in its regularity4 ,as he was walking he went on3 ,i do really think1 ,julian1 that it is a mistake to allow any fancy to get upon your nerves4 ,you know what the doctor thought about this flame4 ,yes4 ,and you know what ,i think4 ,do ,i8 ,yes1 that it is a mere chimera4 ,but my opinion on such a subject has no particular value4 ,the doctor is different4 ,he is a great specialist4 ,the nerves have been his constant study for years4 ,if this vision continues to haunt you1 you really ought to put yourself definitely into his hands4 ,perhaps ,i will1 said ,julian4 ,he spoke rather seriously and meditatively4 ,valentine1 possibly because he was in the sort of peculiarly irritable frame of mind that will sometimes cause a man to dislike having his tendered advice taken1 seemed additionally vexed by this reply1 or at any rate struck by it4 ,he paused in his walk1 and seemed for an instant as if he were going to say something sharply sarcastic4 ,then suddenly he laughed4 ,after all1 he exclaimed in a calmer voice1 we are taking an absurdity mighty seriously4 ,but ,julian would not agree to this view of the matter4 ,i don't know that we are1 he said4 ,you don't know6 ,that is an absurdity4 ,no1 ,valentine1 ,i don't2 ,i can't think that it is4 ,i saw it in ,cuckoo's eyes only once1 and that was--just-- ,tell me just when you saw it4 ,the words came from ,valentine's lips with a pressure1 a hurry almost of anxiety4 ,he seemed curiously eager about the history of this chimera4 ,but ,julian1 eager too1 and engrossed in thoughts that moved as yet in a maze full of vapors and of mists1 did not find time to notice it4 ,i noticed it just after1 or when1 she was begging me to go home4 ,like a good boy1 ,valentine hastily interposed4 ,because her jealousy prompted her to hate the thought of your having any pleasure in which she did not share4 ,oh1 you noticed the flame then4 ,did it1 too1 tell you to go home8 ,he spoke rather harshly and flippantly1 and apparently put the question without desire of an answer1 and rather with the intention of ridicule than for any other reason4 ,but ,julian took it seriously and replied to it4 ,somehow ,i felt as if1 perhaps1 it did wish to speak some message to me1 and that the message came1 or might come1 through her4 ,he spoke slowly1 for indeed it was this action of words that was beginning to make clear to himself his own impression1 so vague and so unpresentable before4 ,as he thus traced it out1 like a man following the blurred letters of an old inscription with the point of his stick1 and gradually coming at their meaning1 his excitement grew4 ,he said1 speaking with a rising emphasis of conviction3 ,i'm not a mere fool4 ,there is--there is something in all this2 ,i feel it2 ,i cannot be simply imagining4 ,there is something4 ,but ,i'm like a man in the dark4 ,i can't see what it is2 ,i can't tell4 ,but you1 ,valentine1 you1 with your nature1 so much better than ,i am1 with so much deeper an insight1 how is it you don't see this flame8 ,unless1--and here ,julian struck his hand violently on the table1--unless it comes1 as it seemed to come that night in the darkness1 from you4 ,if it's part of yourself--but then--and his manner clouded again--how can that be8 ,how indeed8 said ,valentine1 who had been watching him all through this outburst with a scrutiny that seemed almost uneasy1 so narrow and so determined was it4 ,julian1 listen to me2 you trust me1 don't you1 and think my opinion worth something8 ,worth everything4 ,well1 ,i believe you're getting into an unnatural1 if you weren't a man ,i should say a hysterical--habit of mind4 ,if you can't throw it off by yourself1 ,i must help you to do so4 ,perhaps you're right4 ,but how will you help me8 ,valentine seemed to think and consider for a moment4 ,then he exclaimed3 ,i'll tell you4 ,by making you join with me in putting this life1 this old life--new enough to both of us--through its paces4 ,why should each of us do it alone8 ,we are friends4 ,we can trust one another4 ,you know me through and through4 ,you know the--chilliness ,i'll call it--of my nature1 my natural bookishness--my bias towards contemning people too readily1 and avoiding what all men ought to know4 ,and ,i know you4 ,without you ,i believe ,i should never go any distance4 ,without me you might go too far4 ,together we will strike the happy medium4 ,for us life shall go through all his paces1 but he shall never lame us with a kick1 like a vicious horse1 or give us a furtive bite when we're not looking4 ,men carry such bites and kicks1 the wounds from them1 to their graves4 ,we'll be more careful4 ,but we'll see the great play in all--all its acts4 ,and1 when we've seen it1 we'll be as we were1 only we'll be no longer blind4 ,and we'll never forget our grand power of rejecting and refusing4 ,ah6 said ,julian4 ,perhaps ,i haven't that power4 ,but ,i have4 ,yes1 you have4 ,and ,i'll share my power with you4 ,we are friends and comrades4 ,we ought to share everything4 ,yes1 exclaimed ,julian1 carried away4 ,yes1 by ,jove1 yes6 ,and as to this flame-- ,ah6 ,we'll soon know if it's a vision or a reality4 ,but it's a vision4 ,you saw it in a woman's eyes4 ,i'll swear ,i did4 ,then that proves it's a fraud4 ,the flame in a woman's eyes never burnt true yet--never1 ,julian1 since the days of ,delilah4 ,,chapter ,v ,,julian ,,fears ,,the ,,flame ,although ,cuckoo knew well that ,julian carried out his intention of going home after he left her in ,piccadilly1 the fact of his being there1 of his making one of that crowd1 that slowly-moving crowd1 troubled her4 ,valentine and ,julian had argued the question of her real feeling about the matter4 ,cuckoo did not argue it4 ,she never deliberately thought to herself1 ,i feel this or that4 ,why do ,i feel it8 ,she knew as much about astronomy as introspection1 and that was simply nothing at all4 ,instead of diving into the depths of her mind and laboriously tracing every labelled and tabulated subtlety to its source1 she sat in the squalid ,marylebone ,road sitting-room1 with the folding doors open into the bedroom to temper the heat of summer with draughts from the frigid zone of the back area1 and babbled her sensations to ,jessie1 who riggled in response to every passing shadow that stole across the heart of her mistress4 ,jessie had learned much about ,julian in these latter days4 ,into her pricked and pointed ear1 leaf-shaped and the hue of ,india-rubber1 had been whispered a strange tale of the dawning of love in a battered heart1 of the blossoming of respect in a warped mind4 ,she had heard of the meeting in ,piccadilly1 of the meal at the ,monico1 of the farewell on the kerbstone4 ,and she alone knew--or ought to have known--the mingling of intense jealousy and of a grander feeling that burned in ,cuckoo's breast whenever she thought of ,julian's life1 the greater part of it that lay beyond her knowledge1 her sight1 or keeping4 ,for the lady of the feathers1 in most things a strange mixture1 had never driven two more contrasted passions in double harness than those which she drove around the circle of which ,julian was the core1 the centre4 ,one was a passion of jealousy2 the other a curious passion of protection4 ,each backed up the other1 urged it to its work4 ,it would have been a hard task1 indeed1 to tell at first which was the greater of the two4 ,cuckoo neither knew nor cared4 ,she did not even differentiate the two passions or say to herself that there were two4 ,that was not her way4 ,she felt quickly and strongly1 and she acted on her feelings with the peculiar and almost wild promptitude that such a life as hers seems to breed in woman's nature4 ,it is the ,french lady of the feathers who scatters vitriol in the streets of ,paris1 the ,italian or ,spanish lady of the feathers who snatches the dagger from her hair to stab an enemy4 ,the wind of ,cuckoo's feelings blew her about like a dancing mote1 and the feelings awakened by ,julian were the strongest her nature was capable of4 ,only ,jessie knew that at present1 unless indeed ,valentine had divined it1 as seemed possible from his words to ,julian4 ,and these twin passions were fed full by the peculiar circumstances of ,cuckoo's relation to ,julian1 and by the depth of her knowledge concerning a certain side of life4 ,she went home1 that night of their meeting1 very late1 and in the weariness of the morning succeeding it1 and of many following mornings1 she began to brood over the change in ,julian that she had intuitively divined4 ,her street-woman's instinct could not be at fault with a boy4 ,for ,julian was little more than a boy4 ,she knew that when she first met him1 when they made toast together on the foggy afternoon that she could never forget1 ,julian was unshadowed by the darkness that envelopes the steps of so much human nature4 ,lively1 bright1 full of youth1 strength1 energy1 as he was1 ,cuckoo knew that then he had been free from the bondage of sense which demands and obtains the sacrifice of so many lives like hers4 ,and she knew that now he was not free from that bondage1 and that she1 by an irony of fate1 had1 with her own hands1 fastened the first fetter upon him4 ,valentine had plotted that4 ,cuckoo's belief said so2 but surely her curious instinct against ,valentine must have tricked her here6 ,it was this knowledge of her unwilling action against ,julian's peace that first woke in her the strong protective feeling towards him1 a feeling almost akin to the maternal instinct4 ,it was her strange love for him that prompted the fiery antagonism against his relations with others that could only be called jealousy4 ,and though one of her passions was noble1 the other pitiable1 they could but work together for the same end1 aim at a similar salvation4 ,yet how could any salvation for a man come out of that dreary house in the ,marylebone ,road1 from that piteous rouged agent of the devil8 ,cuckoo never stopped to ask such a question as that4 ,she was a girl1 and she began to understand love4 ,she had no time to stop4 ,and each passing day soon began to give fresh vitality to the vision of ,julian's need4 ,between him and her there had sprung up on the ruins of one night's folly a tower of comradeship4 ,its foundations were not of sand4 ,even ,cuckoo1 despite her ceaseless jealously1 felt that4 ,but1 after all1 she had only come into his life as a desolate waif drifts into a settled community4 ,she was neither of his class1 his understanding1 or his education4 ,she was in the gutter2 in the gutter to an extent that no man1 as women feel at present1 can ever be4 ,and though through her inspiration he had not to come into the gutter to find her and to be with her1 yet she sometimes writhed with the thought that he was so far above her4 ,nevertheless1 her position never once tempted her1 in the struggle that the future quickly brought with it1 to shrink from effort1 to fail in fight1 to despair in endeavour for him4 ,there are flames that burn the dross from humanity and reveal the gold4 ,there are flames in the eyes and in the hearts of women4 99 99 99 99 99 ,julian's visits to ,cuckoo were irregular but fairly frequent4 ,he always came in the afternoon1 an hour or two before the psychological moment of her start out for the evening's duty4 ,sometimes he would take her out to tea at a small ,italian restaurant near ,baker ,street ,station4 ,more often they would make tea together in the little sitting-room1 with the ecstatic assistance of ,jessie4 ,and ,rip1 ,valentine's dog1 generally made one of the party4 ,he and ,jessie got on excellently together1 and devoutly shared the scraps that fell from the ,marylebone ,road table4 ,the first time that ,julian brought ,rip to number #djj1 ,cuckoo fell in love with him4 ,why1 you never said you had a dog1 she exclaimed4 ,rip's not mine1 ,julian answered4 ,isn't he8 ,whose is he8 ,valentine's4 ,then why d'you have him with you8 asked ,cuckoo1 suddenly and rather roughly pushing away ,rip1 who was swirling in her lap like a whirlpool4 ,oh1 he's taken a stupid dislike to ,valentine1 ,julian answered thoughtlessly4 ,he won't stay with him4 ,in a moment ,cuckoo had caught the little dog back4 ,that's funny1 she said4 ,yes1 isn't it8 said ,julian4 ,then1 seeing her thoughtful gaze1 and the odd way in which she suddenly caressed the dog1 he was angry with himself for having told her anything about the matter4 ,rip's a little fool1 he said4 ,perhaps ,jessie will take a dislike to you some day1 ,cuckoo4 ,not she1 never6 said ,cuckoo1 with conviction4 ,and1 after that1 she could never spoil ,rip enough4 ,these visits and teas ought to have been pleasant functions1 bright oases in the desert of ,cuckoo's life1 but a cloud fell over them at the beginning and deepened as the days went by4 ,for ,cuckoo1 with her sharpness of the gamin and her quick instinct of the ,london streets1 was perpetually watching for and noting the signs in ,julian's face1 manner1 or language1 that fed those two passions of jealousy and of protection within her4 ,and1 at first1 she allowed ,julian to see what she was doing4 ,one day1 as they sat at the table in the middle of the room1 ,julian said to her3 ,i say1 ,cuckoo1 why d'you look at me like that8 ,like what8 ,why d'you stare at me8 ,anything wrong8 ,i wasn't staring at you1 she asserted4 ,the sun gets in my eyes if ,i look the other way4 ,i'll draw the blind down1 he said4 ,he got up from the table and shut the afternoon sun out4 ,the tea-tray1 the photographs1 the little dogs1 they two1 were plunged in a greenish twilight manufactured by the sun with the assistance of the ,venetian blind4 ,there1 ,julian said1 sitting down again1 now we shall all look ghostly4 ,but if ,i do take a fancy to look at you1 why shouldn't ,i1 then8 ,cuckoo asked4 ,i don't mind1 he laughed4 ,but you didn't seem pleased with me1 ,i thought4 ,rot6 ,oh6 you were pleased1 then8 ,i don't say as ,i was1 or wasn't4 ,you're rather like the ,sphinx4 ,what's that8 ,enigmatic4 ,she didn't understand1 and looked rather cross4 ,i told you ,i wasn't looking at you1 she exclaimed pettishly4 ,then you told a lie1 ,julian said1 with supreme gravity4 ,think of that1 ,cuckoo4 ,and what would you ever tell me but lies if ,i was to ask you things8 she rejoined quickly4 ,julian began to see that there was something lurking in the background behind her show of temper4 ,he wondered what on earth it was4 ,why should ,i tell you lies8 he said4 ,oh6 to kid me4 ,men like that4 ,you're just like the rest1 ,i suppose4 ,i suppose so4 ,she seemed vexed at his assent1 and went on3 ,now1 aren't you1 though8 ,i say1 yes4 ,well1 you usen't to be1 she exclaimed1 with actual bitterness of accent and of look4 ,that's just why ,i was lookin' at you1--for ,i was lookin'1--makin' out the difference4 ,i'm just the same as ,i was1 ,julian said1 and he spoke with quite sincere conviction4 ,no1 you ain't4 ,having uttered this very direct contradiction1 ,cuckoo proceeded with great energy3 ,you've been lettin' him do it4 ,i know you have4 ,julian was completely puzzled4 ,what do you mean8 he asked1 with a real desire for information4 ,you know well enough4 ,he's leadin' you wrong4 ,julian reddened with a sudden understanding4 ,her words touched him in his sorest place4 ,in the first place1 no man likes to think he has been doing a thing because he has been led by some one else4 ,in the second1 ,julian had grown ardently to dislike ,cuckoo's unreasoning antipathy to ,valentine4 ,originally1 and for some time1 he had believed that she would get over it4 ,finding later that there was no chance of that1 he had once told her that he could not hear ,valentine abused4 ,since that day she had been careful not to mention his name4 ,but now her bitterness against him peeped out once more1 and seemed even to have been gathering force during the interval4 ,cuckoo1 you're talking great nonsense1 he said1 forcing himself to speak quietly4 ,but she was in one of her most mulish moods1 and was not to be turned from the subject or silenced4 ,no1 ,i ain't1 she said4 ,where was you last week8 ,you didn't come in once4 ,i was in ,paris4 ,cuckoo's brow clouded still more4 ,her knowledge of ,paris was not intimate1 and1 indeed1 was confined to stories dropped from the lips of men who had been there for short periods1 and for purposes the reverse of geographical or artistic4 ,julian's mention of the ,french capital drove a sword into her4 ,with him8 she exclaimed4 ,yes1 with ,valentine4 ,oh1 what did you do there8 ,she spoke with angry insistence1 and ,julian could not help thinking of ,valentine's remark1 ,that girl loves you4 ,it seemed indeed that ,cuckoo must have some deep and wholly personal reason prompting her to this strange demonstration of vexation4 ,i can't tell you everything1 ,julian answered4 ,oh1 you can't kid me over that4 ,i know well enough what men go to ,paris for6 she rejoined1 with almost hysterical bitterness4 ,julian was silent4 ,it was curious1 but this girl stirred his conscience from its sleep1 as once ,valentine alone could stir it4 ,but by how different a method6 ,the stillness and calm of one who was sinless were replaced by the vehemence and the passion of one who was steeped in sin4 ,and yet the two opposites had1 to some extent1 the same effect4 ,julian did not yet realize this thoroughly1 and did not analyze it at all4 ,had any one hinted to him that the waning influence of ,valentine for good could ever be balanced by the waxing influence of the lady of the feathers1 he would have laughed at the crazy notion4 ,and in the first place he would have denied that ,valentine's spell upon him had changed in nature2 for ,valentine was still as a god to him4 ,and ,cuckoo could never be a goddess1 either to him or to any one else4 ,but1 though he would scarcely acknowledge it even to himself1 he did not care for ,cuckoo to know fully the changing way of his life4 ,perhaps it was the curiously strong line she had from the first taken with regard to his actions that made him careful with her4 ,perhaps it was the incident of the vision of the flame--but no2 remembrance of that had been well-nigh lulled to sleep by the lullabies of ,valentine1 by his disregard of it1 his certainty that it was an hallucination1 a mirage4 ,whatever the cause might be1 ,julian felt somewhat like a naughty boy in the angry presence of ,cuckoo4 ,as he looked at her the greenish twilight painted a chill and menacing gleam in her eyes1 and made her twisting lips venomous and acrid to his glance4 ,her rouge vanished in the twilight1 or seemed only as a dull1 darkish cloud upon her thin and worn cheeks4 ,she sat at the table almost like a scarecrow1 giving the tables of some strange law to a trembling and an unwilling votary4 ,i know6 she reiterated4 ,julian said nothing4 ,he did not choose to deny what was in fact the truth1 that his stay in ,paris had not been free from fault1 and yet he did not feel inclined to do what most men in his situation must by all means have done1 challenge ,cuckoo's right to sit in judgment1 or even for a moment to criticise any action of his4 ,there was something about her1 a frankness perhaps1 which made it impossible to put her out of court by any allusion to her own life4 ,and indeed that must have been cowardice and an impossibility4 ,besides1 she put herself and her own deeds calmly away as unworthy and impossible of discussion1 as things sunk down beneath the wave of notice or comment1 remote from criticism or condemnation1 because the life of their hopelessness had been so long and sunless4 ,cuckoo1 with her eyes on ,julian1 was silent1 too1 now4 ,she understood that what her suspicion had affirmed1 without actually knowing1 was true1 and her stormy heart was swept by a whirlwind of jealousy1 and of womanish pity for the man she was jealous of4 ,in that moment she felt a sickness of life more sharp than she had ever felt before1 and a dull longing to be a different woman1 a woman of ,julian's class1 and clever1 that she might be able to do something to keep him from sinking to the level of the men she hated4 ,how could she1 in her nakedness of permanent degradation1 give a helping hand to anybody8 ,that was a clear rendering of the vague thought1 vague as this twilight in which they sat1 that ran through her mind4 ,suddenly she turned to the tray and poured herself out a cup of tea4 ,the tea had been standing while they talked1 and was black and strong4 ,she drank it eagerly1 and a wave of nervous energy rushed over her1 surging up to her brain like light and electricity4 ,it gave to her a sort of reckless valour to say just the thing she felt4 ,she turned towards ,julian with a manner that was half shrew1 half wildcat--street girls cannot always compass the impressive1 though they may feel the great eternities nestling round their hearts--and cried out3 ,i just hate you6 ,all her jealousy rang in that cry1 smothering the whisper of the maternal passion that went ever with it4 ,julian could no longer doubt the truth of ,valentine's words4 ,cuckoo1 don't be silly1 he said hastily1 and awkwardly enough4 ,silly6 she burst out4 ,what do ,i care for that8 ,i ain't silly1 either1 and ,i ain't blind like you are4 ,i can see where you're goin'4 ,i shall go away from here1 ,julian said1 trying to laugh1 if you talk in this ridiculous way4 ,she sprang up and ran passionately in front of the door1 as if she thought he was really going to escape4 ,no1 you don't1 she said1 and her accent seemed to draw near to that of ,whitechapel as her voice rose higher4 ,not till ,i've said what ,i mean4 ,hush1 ,cuckoo6 ,we shall have ,mrs4 ,brigg up1 thinking ,i'm murdering you4 ,let her come6 ,and you are1 that's what you are1 murderin' me1 and worse1 seein' you go where you're goin'4 ,he's takin' you4 ,it's all him4 ,yes1 it is6 ,he'll make you as he is4 ,cuckoo1 ,i won't have it4 ,julian spoke sternly and got up4 ,the little dogs1 alarmed by the tumult1 had begun to whine uneasily1 and at his movement ,jessie barked in a thin voice4 ,julian went to ,cuckoo1 took her wrists in his two hands1 and drew her away from the door2 but she tore herself from his grasp with fury1 for the touch of his hands gave a clearer vision to her jealousy of his secret deeds1 and made her understand better the depth of her present feeling4 ,you shall have it1 she cried4 ,you shall4 ,i know men4 ,i know what you'll be4 ,i know what women'll make of you4 ,a man makes himself1 ,julian interrupted4 ,rot6 ,that's all you know about it4 ,i've seen them begin so nice and go right down1 like a stone in a well4 ,and they never come up again4 ,not they4 ,no more'll you4 ,d'you hear that8 ,i shall hear you better if you speak lower4 ,cuckoo suddenly changed from a sort of frenzy to a violent calm4 ,you're different already1 she said4 ,can't ,i see it8 ,as if to emphasize her remark she approached her face quite close to his in the twilight4 ,while they had been arguing a cloud had passed over the sun1 and dimness increased in the little room4 ,both of them were still standing up1 and now ,cuckoo peered into ,julian's eyes with almost hungry scrutiny4 ,her lips were still trembling with excitement and her mouth was contorted into a sideways grin1 expressive of contemptuous knowledge of the descent of ,julian's nature4 ,she was a mere mask of passion1 no doubt a ridiculous object enough1 touzled1 dishevelled and shaken with temper1 as she leaned forward to get a better view of him4 ,and ,julian was both vexed and disgusted by her outbreak1 and sick of a scene which1 like all men1 he ardently hated and would have given much to avoid4 ,he faced her coldly1 endeavouring to calm her by banishing every trace of excitement from his expression4 ,and then1 in the twilight of the dingy room1 and in the twilight of her eyes1 he saw the flame once more4 ,a thin glint of sunshine found its way in from the street1 and threw a shadow near them4 ,cuckoo's eyes emitted a greenish ray like a cat's1 and in this ray the flame swam and flickered1 cold and pale1 and1 ,julian fancied1 menacing4 ,perhaps1 because he was already irritated and slightly strung up by ,cuckoo's attack1 he felt a sudden anger against the flame1 almost as he might have felt a rage against a person4 ,as he stared upon it1 he could almost believe that it1 too1 had eyes1 scrutinizing1 upbraiding1 condemning him1 and that in the thin riband and shade of its fire there dwelt a heart to hate him for the dear sin to which1 at last1 he began to give himself4 ,for the moment ,cuckoo and the flame were as one1 and for the moment he feared and hated them both4 ,abruptly he held up his hand to stop the further words that were fluttering on her thin and painted lips4 ,hush6 he said1 in a little hiss of protest against sound4 ,for again1 fighting with the anger1 there was awe in his heart4 ,there was something unusual in his expression which held her silent1 a furtive horror and expectation which she did not understand4 ,and while she waited1 ,julian turned suddenly1 and left the room and the house4 ,,chapter ,,vi ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,,learns ,,wisdom ,julian did not come again to the house in the ,marylebone ,road for at least a fortnight1 and during that time the lady of the feathers was left alone with her life and with her sad thoughts4 ,the summer days went heavily by1 and the sultry summer nights4 ,no rain fell1 and ,london was veiled in dust4 ,the pavements were so hot that they burned the feet that trod them4 ,sometimes they seemed to burn ,cuckoo's very soul1 and to sear her heart as she stood upon them for hours in the night1 while the crowds of ,piccadilly flitted by like shadows in an evil dream4 ,she stared mechanically at the faces of those passing as she strolled with a lagging footstep along the line of houses4 ,she turned to meet the eyes of the pale-faced loungers in the lighted entrance of the ,st4 ,james's restaurant1 ,jimmy's1 as she called it4 ,but her mind was preoccupied4 ,a problem had fastened upon it with the tenacity of some vampire or strange clinging creature of night4 ,cuckoo was wrestling with an angel2 or was it a devil8 ,and often1 when she stopped on the pavement and exchanged a word or two with some casual stranger1 she scarcely knew what she said1 or to what kind of man she was speaking4 ,she was possessed by one thought1 the thought of ,julian and of his danger4 ,valentine1 in her thoughts1 was strangely a pale shadow1 incredibly evil1 incredibly persistent1 luring ,julian downwards1 beckoning him with the thin hand of a saint to depths unpierced by the gaze of even the most sinful4 ,and that hand of the saint was only part of the appalling deception of his beautiful and tragically lying body1 a crystal temple in which a demon dwelt secretly1 peering from its concealment through the shadowy blue windows1 in which ,julian saw truth and honour1 but in which ,cuckoo read things to terrify and to dismay4 ,for she was not wholly unaware of the mystery of ,valentine1 of the sharp contrast between his appearance and the vision of his nature as it came to her4 ,she understood that there was something in the fine beauty of his face and figure to account for ,julian's blindness and refusal to be warned against him4 ,cuckoo's intuition1 the intuition of an unlearned and instinctive creature trained by the hardest circumstances to rely on what she called her wits1 laid the crystal temple in ruins1 and drove the demon from its lurking-place naked and shrieking into the open4 ,but1 after all1 was not she rather deceived than ,julian8 ,julian1 from the first moment of meeting ,valentine1 looked upon him as saint4 ,cuckoo1 from the first moment of meeting1 looked upon him as devil4 ,each put him aside from the general run of humanity1 the one in a heaven of the imagination1 the other in a hell4 ,neither would allow him to be midway between the two1 containing possibilities of both1--ordinary1 natural man4 ,julian angrily scouted the notion of ,valentine's being like other men4 ,cuckoo felt instinctively that he was not4 ,and so they glorified and cursed him4 ,cuckoo had at first cursed him plainly in the market-place and upon the house-top4 ,but that was before she had learned wisdom4 ,slowly she learnt it on these hot days and nights1 when the ,london dust filtered over the paint upon her cheeks and lips1 clung round the shadows in the hollows beneath her eyes1 and slept in the artificial primrose of her elaborate cloud of hair4 ,slowly she learnt it in many vague and struggling mental arguments1 in which logic was a dwarf and passion a giant1 in which instinct strangled reason1 and love wandered as a shamefaced fairy with tear-dimmed eyes4 ,julian's prolonged absence and silence first taught the lady of the feathers the slow necessity of wisdom1 otherwise1 perhaps1 her vehement ignorance could never have absorbed the precious thing4 ,women of her training and vile experience1 nerve-ridden1 and clothed in hysteria as in a garment1 often think to gain what they want by the mere shrillness of outcry1 the mere grabbing of ostentatious1 eager hands and frenzy of body4 ,their lives lead them through a wonder of knowledge and of danger to the demeanour of babyhood1 and they cry for every rattle1 much more for every moon4 ,so ,cuckoo had thrown her feelings down before ,julian4 ,she had dashed her hatred of ,valentine in his face2 she had cried her fears of his downfall to that which she consorted with eternally and loathed--when she had still the energy to loathe it1 which was not always--in his ears with the ardent shrillness of a boatswain's whistle4 ,she had1 in fact1 done all that her instinct prompted her to do1 and the result was the exit of ,julian from her life4 ,this set her1 always in her sharp and yet childish way1 sometimes oddly clear sighted1 often muddled and distressed1 to turn upon instinct with a contempt not known before1 to discard it with the fury still of a child4 ,and instinct thus forsaken by an essentially instinctive creature opened the gates of distress and of confusion4 ,by day ,cuckoo sat in her stuffy little parlour brooding wearily4 ,she waited in day after day1 always hoping that ,julian would return1 full of resolutions1 prompted by fear1 to be gentle1 even lively1 to him when he did come1 full of excited intention which could not be fulfilled2 for he did not come4 ,and by night1 while she tramped the streets1 still ,cuckoo's anxious mind revolved the question of her behaviour in the future4 ,for she would not1 passionately would not1 allow herself to contemplate the possibility that ,julian's anger against her would keep him forever beyond reach either of her fury or of her tenderness4 ,she insisted on contemplating his ultimate reappearance1 and her wits were at work to devise means to win him from ,valentine's influence without stirring his horror at any thought of disloyalty to his friend4 ,cuckoo1 in fact1 wanted to be subtle1 intended to be subtle1 and sought intensely the right way of subtlety4 ,she sought it as she walked1 as she hovered at street corners in the night1 while the hours ran by1 sometimes till the streets were nearly deserted1 sometimes even till the dawn sang in the sky to the wail of the hungry woman beneath it4 ,she sought it even in the company of those strangers who stepped for a night into her life as into a public room1 and stepped from it on the morrow with a careless and everlasting adieu1 half-drowned in the chink of money4 ,and sometimes she thought1 with a sick dreariness1 that she would never find it1 and sometimes courage failed her1 and1 despite her passionate resolution1 she did for a moment say to herself1 ,if he should never come again4 ,there were moments1 too1 when every other feeling was drowned by sheer jealousy of ,julian1 when the tiger-cat woke in this street-girl who had always had to fight1 when her thin frame shivered with the shaking violence of the soul it held4 ,then she clenched her hands1 and longed to plant her nails in the faces of those other women1 divined1 though never seen1--those ,french women who had sung him1 like sirens1 to ,paris1 away from the sea of her greedy love4 ,her similes were commonplace4 ,in her heart she called such sirens hussies4 ,had she met them the battle of words would have been strong and singularly unclean4 ,that she herself was a hussy to other men1 not to ,julian1 did not trouble her4 ,she did not realize it4 ,human nature has always one blind eye1 even when the other does not squint4 ,this passion of jealousy1 circling round an absent man1 seized her at the strangest1 the most inopportune moments4 ,sometimes it came upon her in the street1 and the meditation of it was so vital and complete that ,cuckoo could not go on walking1 lest she should1 by movement1 miss the keenest edge of the agony4 ,then she would stop wherever she was1 lean against the down-drawn shutter of a shop1 or the corner of a public house1 among the gaping loungers1 let her powdered chin drop upon her breast1 and sink into a fit of desperate detective duty1 during which she followed ,julian like a shadow through imagined wanderings1 and watched him committing all those imagined actions that could cause her to feel the wildest and most inhuman despair4 ,one night1 when she was thus sunk and swallowed up in the maw of miserable inward contemplation1 a young man1 who was walking by1 observed her4 ,he was very young and eager1 fresh from ,cambridge1 ardent after the mysteries and the subtleties of life1 as is the fashion of clever modern youth4 ,the sight of this painted girl leaning1 motionless as some doll or puppet1 against the iron shutters of the vacant house1 her head drooped1 and her hands1 as if the strings to manipulate her had fallen loose from the grasp that guided them1 caught and eventually fascinated him4 ,it was a late hour of night4 ,he passed on and returned1 shooting each time a devouring1 analytical glance upon ,cuckoo4 ,again he came back1 walking a little nearer to the houses4 ,his heart beat quicker as he approached the puppet4 ,its complete immobility was almost appalling1 and each time he came within view of it he examined it violently to see if a limb was displaced4 ,no2 one might almost suppose that it was the body of some one struck dead so suddenly against the shop that she had not had time to fall1 and so remained leaning thus4 ,with shorter and shorter revolutions1 like a dog working itself up to approach some motionless but strange object1 the youth went by ,cuckoo1 hesitating more and more each time he came in front of her with strange feelings of one being vaguely criminal4 ,he longed to touch the puppet1 to see if any quiver would convulse its limbs1 any light flicker into its eyes4 ,and he was so fascinated and interested that at last he did furtively stop precisely in front of it4 ,for a second both of them were motionless1 he from contemplation of the outward1 she of the inward4 ,then ,cuckoo's thoughtful jealousy came to a ghastly crisis4 ,her imagination had shown her frightful things and herself an utterly helpless and compelled spectator4 ,the puppet opened its red lips to utter a sob1 lifted up its white and heavy eyelids to let loose tears upon its unnaturally bright cheeks1 stirred its hanging hands to clasp them in a crude gesture of dull fury4 ,the youth started as at a corpse showing suddenly the pangs of life4 ,his movement shot ,cuckoo like a bullet into her real world4 ,through her tears she saw a man regarding her4 ,in a flash1 old habit brought to her a smile1 a turned head of coquetry1 an entreating hand1 a hackneyed phrase that reiteration rendered parrot-like in intonation4 ,the youth shrank back and fled away in the darkness4 ,long afterwards that incident haunted him as an epitome of all the horrors of cruel ,london4 ,and ,cuckoo1 thus roused and deserted1 put aside for the moment her nightmare1 and started once more upon her promenade of the night4 ,at last she began to fear that ,julian would never come back1 and by a sudden impulse she wrote to him a short1 very ill-spelt letter1 hoping he would come to tea with her on a certain afternoon4 ,on the day mentioned she waited in an agony of expectation4 ,she had put on his black dress1 removed all traces of paint and powder from her face1 remembering his former request and her experiment1 tricked ,jessie out in a bright yellow satin riband twisted into a bow almost larger than herself1 and bought flowers--large ones1 sunflowers--to give to her dingy room an air of refinement and of gaiety4 ,amid all this brilliancy of yellow satin and yellow flowers she waited uneasily in her simple black gown4 ,the day was dull1 not wet1 but brooding and severe1 iron-grey1 like a hard-featured ,puritan1 and still with the angry peace of coming thunder4 ,the window was open to let in air1 but no air seemed to enter1 only the weariful and incessant street noises4 ,jessie wriggled about1 biting sideways with animation to get at her yellow adornment1 and pattering around the furniture seeking stray crumbs1 which sometimes eluded her for a while and1 lying in hidden nooks and corners1 unexpectedly rewarded her desultory and impromptu search4 ,cuckoo leaned her arms across the table1 glanced at the tea things for two1 and listened4 ,a cab stopped presently4 ,she twisted in her chair to face the window4 ,it had drawn up next door1 and she subsided again into her fever of attention4 ,jessie found a crumb and swallowed it with as much action and large air of tasting it as if it had been a city dinner4 ,the hands of the clock drew to the hour named in ,cuckoo's note1 touched it1 passed it4 ,a sickness of despair began to creep upon her like a thousand little biting insects4 ,she shuffled in her seat1 glanced this way and that1 pressed her lips together1 and1 taking her arms from the table1 clasped her hands tightly in her lap4 ,then she sat straight up and counted the tickings of the clock1 the spots on the tablecloth1 the gold stars upon the wallpaper of the room4 ,she counted and counted until her head began to swim4 ,and all the time she waited1 the lady of the feathers was learning wisdom4 ,the lesson was harsh1 as the lessons of time usually are2 the lesson was bitter as ,marah waters4 ,and she thought the lesson was going to be a cross too heavy for her narrow shoulders to bear when the iron gate of the garden sang its invariable little note of protest on being opened4 ,cuckoo's head turned slowly to one side4 ,her haggard eyes swept the view of the path4 ,julian was walking up it4 ,she met him very quietly1 almost seriously1 and he shook hands with her as if they had been together quite recently and parted the best of friends4 ,only1 as he held her hand1 she noticed that he cast a hasty1 and as she fancied a fearful1 glance into her eyes4 ,then he seemed reassured and they sat down to tea4 ,cuckoo supposed that he had for the moment dreaded what she called another row1 and was satisfied by her expression of good temper4 ,they drank their tea1 and after a short interval of constraint began chattering together very much as usual4 ,at first ,cuckoo had hardly dared to look much at ,julian1 lest he should see the joy she felt at his coming1 but when she was pouring out his second cup she let her eyes rest fully on his face1 and only then did she realize that a shadow lay upon it1 a shadow from which it had been free before4 ,with a trembling hand she filled the cup and stared upon the shadow4 ,she knew its brethren so well4 ,in dead days she herself had helped to manufacture such shadows upon the faces of men4 ,she had seen them come1 thin1 faint1 delicate1 impalpable as a veil of mist before morning4 ,only morning light never followed them4 ,and she had seen them stay and grow and deepen and darken4 ,shadow over the eyes of the man1 shadow round his lips1 shadow like a cloud upon the forehead1 shadow over the picture painted by the soul1 working through the features1 that we call expression4 ,many times had she seen the journey taken by a man's face to that haunted bourne1 arrived at which it is scarcely any more a man's face1 but only a mask expressive of one1 or of many1 sins4 ,had ,julian then definitely set foot upon that journey8 ,as yet the shadow that lay over him was no more than the lightest film1 suggestive of a slightly unnatural and forbidding fatigue4 ,yet ,cuckoo shrank from it as from a ghost4 ,why1 ,cuckoo1 your hand is trembling6 ,julian said4 ,oh1 ,i was out late last night1 she answered1 putting the teapot hastily down4 ,and they talked on1 pretending there were only two of them and no shadowy third4 ,julian1 having returned at last to the ,marylebone ,road1 fell into his old habit of coming there often4 ,and each time that he came the lady of the feathers counted a fresh step on his hideous journey towards the haunted bourne4 ,yet she never spoke of the dreary addition sum she was doing4 ,she never reproached ,julian1 or wept1 or let him see that her heart was growing cold as a pilgrim who kneels1 bare1 in long prayers upon the steps of a shrine4 ,for she had learnt wisdom1 and hugged it in her arms4 ,valentine was scarcely ever mentioned between them2 but once1 and evidently by accident1 ,julian allowed an expression to escape him which implied that ,valentine now objected to the intimacy with ,cuckoo4 ,immediately the words were uttered1 ,julian looked confused1 and obviously would have wished to recall them1 had it been possible4 ,oh1 ,i know as he don't like me1 ,cuckoo said4 ,julian answered nothing4 ,why d'you come1 then8 she continued1 with a certain desperation4 ,there ain't nothin' here to bring you4 ,i know that well enough4 ,she cast a comprehensive glance round over the badly furnished room4 ,nothin' at all1 she added with a sigh4 ,while she spoke ,julian began to wonder1 too1 why he came1 why he liked to come there4 ,as ,cuckoo said1 there was nothing at all to bring him so often4 ,he liked her1 he was sorry for her1 he had even a deep-running sympathy for her1 but he did not love her4 ,yet he was fascinated to come to her1 and there were sometimes moments when he seemed taken possession of1 led by the hand1 to that squalid room and that squalid presence in it4 ,why was that8 ,what led him8 ,he could not tell4 ,i like coming here1 he said2 and of course it's nothing to ,valentine where ,i go4 ,cuckoo glanced up hastily at the words4 ,a little serpent enmity surely hissed in them4 ,julian spoke as if he were a man with some rebel feeling at his heart4 ,but the serpent glided and was gone as he added3 ,i'm always with him when ,i'm not with you1 for ,i haven't seen the doctor for ages4 ,the doctor6 ,who's that1 then1 asked ,cuckoo4 ,doctor ,levillier4 ,surely you've heard me talk about him4 ,no1 dearie4 ,oh1 he's a nerve-doctor1 and a sort of little saint1 lives for his work1 and is a deuced religious chap1 never does anything1 you know4 ,julian looked at her4 ,oh1 she said4 ,and believes in everything4 ,he's a dear little chap1 the kindest heart in the world1 good to every one1 no matter who it is4 ,he's devoted to ,valentine4 ,eh8 said ,cuckoo1 with a long-drawn intonation of astonishment4 ,i say he's devoted to ,valentine1 ,julian repeated rather irritably4 ,his temper was much less certain and sunny lately than of old4 ,but ,i believe he's devoted to every one he can do any good to4 ,we used to see him continually1 but he's been abroad for weeks1 looking after a bad case1 a ,russian ,grand ,duke in ,italy1 who would have him1 and pays him all the fees he'd be getting in ,london4 ,he'll be coming back directly1 ,i think4 ,where does he live8 said ,cuckoo1 ever so carelessly4 ,julian gave the number in ,harley ,street rather abstractedly4 ,their conversation had led him to think of the little doctor4 ,would he be glad to see him again8 ,and would ,valentine8 ,he tried to realize1 and presently understood1 and had a moment of shame at his own feeling4 ,soon afterwards he went away4 ,that night1 before she went to ,piccadilly1 ,cuckoo walked round to ,harley ,street4 ,she wandered slowly down the long thoroughfare and presently came to the doctor's house4 ,there was a brass plate upon the door4 ,the light from a gas lamp1 just lit1 flickered upon it1 and ,cuckoo1 stopping1 bent downwards and slowly read the printed name1 ,doctor ,levillier4 ,did it look a nice name1 a kind name8 ,she considered that question childishly1 standing there alone4 ,then1 without making up her mind on the subject1 she turned to go4 ,as she did so she saw the tall figure of a man motionless under the gas-lamp on the other side of the street4 ,he was evidently regarding her1 and ,cuckoo felt a sudden thrill of terror as she recognized ,valentine4 ,they stood still on the two pavements for a minute1 looking across at one another4 ,cuckoo could only see ,valentine's face faintly1 but she fancied it was angry and distorted1 and her terror grew4 ,she hesitated what to do1 when he made what seemed to her a threatening gesture1 and walked quickly away down the street4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,,buckles ,,on ,,her ,,armour ,that evening ,cuckoo remained in a condition of mingled terror and resolution4 ,there was something about ,valentine that filled her1 not merely with alarm1 but with a nameless horror1 indescribable and inveterate4 ,she felt that he was her deadly enemy and the enemy of ,julian4 ,but he had cast such a spell over ,julian that the latter was blinded and ready to follow him anywhere1 and not merely to follow him1 but to defend every step he took4 ,cuckoo had a sense of entering upon a combat with ,valentine4 ,as she stood upon the doorstep in ,harley ,street and faced him under the gas-lamp1 were they not as antagonists definitely crossing swords for the first time8 ,it seemed so to her4 ,and the impression upon her was so strong and so exciting1 that for once she broke through her invariable routine4 ,instead of going to ,piccadilly she went home to her lodgings4 ,it was about half-past nine when she arrived and opened the door with her latchkey4 ,mrs4 ,brigg happened to be in the passage en route to the kitchen from some business in the upper regions4 ,she stared upon ,cuckoo with amazement4 ,what ever1 she began1 her voice croaky with interrogation4 ,are you ill8 ,what are you back for8 ,i'm all right1 said ,cuckoo crossly4 ,leave me alone1 do4 ,she turned into her sitting-room4 ,mrs4 ,brigg followed1 open-mouthed4 ,ain't you a-goin' out ag'in8 ,no2 oh do leave off starin'4 ,what's the matter with you8 ,mrs4 ,brigg heaved a thick sigh and shuffled round upon her heels1 which made a noise upon the oilcloth like the boots of the comic man at a music-hall4 ,well1 she said with a sudden grimness1 ,i hope it'll be all right about the rent1 that's all4 ,she vanished1 shaking her head1 on which a stray curl-paper1 bereft of its comrades of the morning1 sat unique in a thin forest of iron-grey wisps4 ,cuckoo shut her door and sat down to think4 ,but at first she had to receive the attentions of ,jessie1 who was even more surprised than ,mrs4 ,brigg at her unexpected return1 and who began to bark with shrill joy and run violently round the room with the speed of a rat emancipated from a cage4 ,as she would not consent to repose herself again1 ,cuckoo at last put her into the next room1 on the bed1 and shut the door on her4 ,then she returned1 lit all the three gas-burners and turned them full on1 before she removed her hat1 and definitely settled herself in for the evening4 ,she was fearful1 and dreaded darkness1 or even twilight4 ,the pulse of ,london beat round her while she stretched herself on the hard sofa1 let down her touzled yellow hair1 and frowned slowly as the unlearned do when they know that they want to meditate4 ,now and then she rose suddenly on her elbow1 half turned her head towards the window and listened4 ,she had thought she heard a step on the pavement pause1 and the cry of the little iron gate4 ,then1 reassured1 she leaned back once more4 ,she had taken off her boots1 and her feet1 in black stockings gone a little white at the toes1 were tilted up on the shoulder of the sofa4 ,she fixed her eyes mechanically upon them while she began1 all-confusedly1 and with the blurred vagueness of the illiterate1 to plan out a campaign4 ,not that she said that word to herself2 she did not know its meaning4 ,all that she knew was1 that she wanted to put her back against the wall1 or get into an angle1 like a cornered animal1 and use her teeth and claws against ,valentine1 that menacing figure with an angel's face4 ,and what disgusted and drove ,cuckoo almost mad as she lay there in the crude gaslight was the abominable fact that she was desperately afraid of ,valentine4 ,there was something about him which filled her not only with intense horror1 but with something worse than horror1--intense fear4 ,why1 she had all three gas-burners alight because1 having met him that night and seen him watching her1 she trembled at the faintest shadow and must see things plainly1 lest their dim outlines should appal her fancy by taking his form4 ,only once had the lady of the feathers known such enfeebling terror as this1 on the night when she fled from the hotel in the ,euston ,road and left ,marr dying on the bed between the tall windows4 ,more than once1 in her thoughts1 had she loosely linked ,marr with ,valentine1 puzzled1 scarcely knowing why she did so4 ,and1 she repeated the mental operation now more definitely4 ,they had at least one thing in common1 this extraordinary power of striking fear into her soul4 ,and ,cuckoo was not accustomed to sit with fear4 ,her life had bred in her a strong1 tough-fibred restlessness4 ,she was essentially a careless creature1 ready to argue1 quarrel1 hold her own with anybody1 proud1 as a rule1 of being a match for any man and well able to take care of herself4 ,she had knocked about1 and was utterly familiar with many horrors of the streets1 and of nameless houses4 ,she had heard many rows at night2 had been in brawls2 had been waked1 in the dense hours1 by sudden sharp cries for help2 was accustomed to be alone with strangers1 men of unknown history1 of unknown deeds4 ,and all these circumstances she met with absolute carelessness1 with a devil-may-care laugh1 or the sigh of one weary1 but not afraid4 ,she was no more timid than the average ,english street-boy4 ,only these two men1 one dead1 one alive1 knew how to dress her in terror from head to foot1 brain1 heart1 and body4 ,and so she joined them in a ghastly brotherhood4 ,but to-night she was making a conscious effort against the domination of ,valentine1 for the awakening of fear in her was counterbalanced by other feelings prompting her to fight4 ,and once ,cuckoo began to fight she felt that she would not lack courage4 ,for she clung to action1 and hated thought1 walking clearly in the one1 but through a maze in the other4 ,despite her fear of him1 something drove her to fight ,valentine2 only she did not know how to fight him4 ,it was in a mood of doubt that she had wandered into ,harley ,street and bent to read the name on the door of ,dr4 ,levillier4 ,julian's description of the doctor had appealed to her4 ,the mention of his goodness1 of his pure life1 of his care for others1 had impressed her1 she scarcely knew why1 and brought into her mind a desire to see this little man4 ,yet he was devoted to ,valentine4 ,and then ,cuckoo1 lying back on the sofa1 felt heart-sick1 wondering at the power of this man whom she hated and feared1 wondering how she could ever fight against his influence over ,julian2 wondering1 too1 a little1 why it was that she knew she must and certainly would fight it4 ,for beyond the motive power of her love and jealousy1 beyond the ordinary woman's desire to keep the man she admired from sinking to the level of the men she despised1 there was another fiery and strong and urging insistent influence working upon her1 working within her1 crying to her1 like a voice1 to buckle on her armour and to do battle with the enemy4 ,this influence came silently from without1 and spoke to the lady of the feathers when she was alone1 and never more clearly and powerfully than to-night4 ,it wrestled with her terror of ,valentine1 and told her to put it away1 to come into closer relations with him fearlessly1 not to flee from him1 but rather to watch him1 dog him1 learn what he was and what he was doing or trying to do4 ,yet fear fought this growing1 stirring1 strange warm influence that burned like a fire at ,cuckoo's heart4 ,she flushed and she paled as she lay there1 with down-drawn brows and enlaced hands1 her yellow hair falling over the hard1 shiny horsehair of the sofa4 ,she longed for some one to come to her who would give her counsel1 help1 courage1 that she might fight for ,julian1 who was too spell-bound to fight for himself1 and who was falling so fast1 so terribly fast1 into the abyss where men crawl like insects and women are as poisonous weeds in the slime of the pit4 ,oh1 for some one6 ,involuntarily she sat up and extended her thin arms almost as if in a beckoning gesture4 ,as she did so the front door bell rang4 ,cuckoo was startled and felt as if it rang for her4 ,but that was unlikely2 and there were other lodgers of her kind in the house4 ,no doubt it was a visitor for one of them4 ,mrs4 ,brigg went in weary procession along the passage and opened the door4 ,a few words were indistinctly spoken in a man's voice4 ,then the street door shut1 and almost simultaneously the door of ,cuckoo's sitting-room opened very quietly and ,valentine entered4 ,,chapter ,,viii ,,valentine ,,expounds ,,the ,,gospel ,,of ,,influence ,,to ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,valentine closed the door behind him and stood by it1 looking at ,cuckoo gravely4 ,she had pushed herself up on the sofa1 using her elbows as a lever1 and in an awkward attitude1 half sitting1 half lying down1 stared at him with startled eyes4 ,her unshod feet were drawn in towards her body1 and her dyed hair hung in a thick tangle round her face and on her shoulders4 ,she said nothing4 ,valentine put his hat down on the table and began to take off his gloves4 ,i am glad to find you at home1 he said politely4 ,cuckoo shifted a little farther back on the sofa4 ,now that she was actually shut up alone with ,valentine1 fear returned upon her and banished every other feeling1 every desire except the desire to be away from him4 ,she ran her tongue over her lips1 which had suddenly become dry4 ,what are you come for8 she asked1 never taking her eyes from his4 ,to see you4 ,i have never yet returned your kind call upon me4 ,eh8 ,cuckoo spoke in the tone of one who had become deaf1 and she felt as if the agitation of her mind actually clamoured within her like a crowd of human voices1 deadening sounds from without4 ,valentine repeated his remark1 adding3 ,won't you ask me to sit down8 ,he put his hand on the back of a chair4 ,may ,i8 ,cuckoo gave her body a jerk which brought her feet down to the floor1 so that she was sitting upright4 ,she pushed out one of her hands as if in protest4 ,you can't sit here1 she murmured4 ,i8 ,why not8 ,i can't have you here1 nor ,i won't either4 ,her voice was growing louder and fiercer as the first paralysis of surprise died gradually away from her4 ,after all1 she had not buckled on her armour only to run away from the enemy in it4 ,the street ,arab impudence was not quite killed in her by the strange influence of this man4 ,the mere fact of having her feet firmly planted upon the floor gave ,cuckoo a certain fillip of courage1 and she tossed her head with that old vulgar gesture of hers which suggested the harridan4 ,she pointed to the door4 ,out you go6 she cried4 ,for her intrepidity had not risen to calm contemplation of an interview4 ,she was only bracing herself up to the necessary momentary endurance of his presence1 which followed upon ,mrs4 ,brigg's admittance of him within the door4 ,valentine heard the gentle hint unmoved1 and replied to it by drawing a chair out from the table and sitting down upon it4 ,a sort of rage1 stirred by terror1 ran over ,cuckoo4 ,she seized the back of his chair with both hands and shook it violently4 ,no1 you don't stay1 she ejaculated2 ,i won't have it6 ,it was characteristic of her to lose all sense of dignity at an instant1 when dignity might have served her purpose4 ,her outburst might have been directed against a statue4 ,valentine neither moved nor looked in any way affected4 ,glancing at ,cuckoo with a whimsical amusement1 he said3 ,what a child you are6 ,when will you learn wisdom6 ,cuckoo took away her hands4 ,a conviction pierced her that the weapons a woman may use with effect against an ordinary man could be of no service now1 and with this man4 ,she faded abruptly from anger and violence into fatigue1 always closely accompanied by fear4 ,i'm awfully tired to-night1 she said4 ,please do go6 ,i'm home because ,i'm tired4 ,the walk from ,harley ,street was too much for you4 ,you shouldn't make such exertions4 ,for the first time a sinister note rang in his voice4 ,i shall go where ,i like1 ,cuckoo answered1 and this time with some real sturdiness of manner4 ,it ain't nothin' to you where ,i go1 nor what ,i do4 ,how can you tell that8 ,she laid her chin in the upturned palms of her two hands1 planting her elbows on her knees4 ,how can it be8 she said4 ,i'm nothin' to you1 nor ,i ain't going to be either4 ,that's what you say4 ,and it's ,god's truth too6 she cried again with violence1 as the sense of ,valentine's inflexible power grew in her4 ,i'm going to smoke if you will allow me1 ,valentine said4 ,slowly he drew out and lit a cigarette1 ,cuckoo neither refusing nor permitting it4 ,with protruding lips he threw the light smoke round him4 ,then speaking through it he said3 ,tell me why you go to ,harley ,street4 ,i ain't goin' to talk to you4 ,tell me why4 ,it lies out of your beat2 it's a respectable thoroughfare4 ,the words were said to sting4 ,cuckoo let them go by4 ,she had been stung too often1 and repetition of cruelty sometimes kills what it repeats4 ,she set her lips to silence1 with a look of obstinacy not impressive1 but merely mulish and childish4 ,well8 ,valentine said4 ,she made no answer4 ,he did not seem angry1 but continued3 ,you find few fish for your net there1 ,i imagine4 ,but perhaps you don't go for fish4 ,what was the name you read upon the door while ,i watched you8 ,this time ,cuckoo1 changing her mind1 as she often did1 with all the swiftness of a crude nature1 answered him3 ,you know well enough6 ,it was ,dr4 ,levillier1 wasn't it8 ,she nodded her head silently4 ,why do you go to his door8 ,what do you want with him8 ,cuckoo's quick woman's instinct detected a suspicion of something that was like anxiety in his voice as he said the words4 ,in an instant the warm impulse that1 in her silent meditation1 had led her to buckle on her armour and to think1 with a certain courage1 that she was to fight one day1 stirred and glowed and leaped up1 an impulse greater than herself4 ,the fear that had fallen upon her was lessened1 for she felt that this man1 too1 might1 nay did1 know fear4 ,what's that to you8 ,she turned upon him boldly with the question1 and he knew her for the first time as an antagonist1 who might actively attack as well as passively hate4 ,he leaned forward1 and looked into her eyes searchingly1 with a sort of rapture1 of anxiety1 too4 ,it recalled something to ,cuckoo4 ,she tried to remember what1 but for a moment could not4 ,then1 as if reassured1 he resigned his eager and nervous posture of inquiry4 ,that second movement brought the light that ,cuckoo's puzzled mind sought4 ,it was ,julian who had looked first into her eyes with that strange watchfulness4 ,these men echoed one another in that glance which she could not understand4 ,what they sought in her eyes she could not tell4 ,if it were the same thing it could not be love4 ,and it seemed to be a thing that they feared to find4 ,doctor ,levillier is a great friend of mine1 ,valentine said4 ,he is a famous nerve-doctor4 ,seeing you hovering about his door led me to suppose you might be ill1 and were going to consult him4 ,i hope you are not ill4 ,not ,i6 ,because he is away from home at present4 ,oh6 ,do you want to see him8 ,i suppose ,i can see him1 like any one else1 if ,i've a mind to4 ,well6 ,he's--he doesn't see quite every one4 ,his practice is only among the richest and smartest people in town4 ,some one else might answer your purpose better4 ,he spoke suavely1 but the words he said cemented ,cuckoo's previously vague thought of trying1 perhaps1 to see ,doctor ,levillier into a sudden1 strong determination4 ,she divined that1 for some reason1 ,valentine was anxious that she should not see him4 ,that was enough4 ,she would1 at whatever cost1 make his acquaintance4 ,i'll see him if ,i like1 she said hastily1 lost to any appreciation of wisdom1 through the desire of aiming an instant blow at ,valentine4 ,of course6 ,why not8 was his reply4 ,you don't want me to4 ,i can see that1 she went on1 still more unadvisedly4 ,you needn't think as you can get over me so easily4 ,valentine's smile showed a certain contempt that angered her4 ,i know you1 she cried4 ,do you8 he said4 ,i wonder if you would like to know me8 ,do you remember ,marr8 ,the lady of the feathers turned cold4 ,marr6 she faltered2 what of him8 ,you have not forgotten him4 ,he's dead6 ,a pause4 ,he's dead1 ,i say4 ,exactly6 ,as dead as a strong man who has lived long in the world ever can be4 ,what d'you mean8 ,i say he's dead and buried and done with4 ,her voice was rather noisy and shrill4 ,that's just where you make a mistake1 ,valentine said quite gravely1 rather like a philosopher about to embark upon an argument4 ,he is not done with4 ,suppose you fear a man1 you hate him1 you kill him1 you put him under the ground1 you have not done with him4 ,i didn't kill him6 ,i didn't1 ,i didn't6 ,cuckoo cried out1 shrilly1 half rising from the sofa4 ,a wild suspicion suddenly came over her that ,valentine was pursuing her as an avenger of blood1 under the mistaken idea that she had done ,marr to death in the night4 ,hush6 ,i know that4 ,he died naturally1 as a doctor would say1 and he has been buried2 and by now probably he is a shell that can only contain the darkness of his grave4 ,yet1 for all that1 he's not done with1 ,miss ,bright4 ,he is6 he is6 she persisted4 ,the mention of ,marr always woke terror in her4 ,she sat1 her eyes fixed on ,valentine1 her memory fixed on ,marr4 ,perhaps for this reason what her memory saw and what her eyes saw seemed gradually to float together1 and fuse and mingle1 till eyes and memory mingled1 too1 into one sense1 observant of one being only1 neither wholly ,marr nor wholly ,valentine1 but both in one4 ,she had linked them together vaguely before1 but never as now4 ,yet even now the clouds were floating round her and the vapours4 ,she might think she saw1 but she could not understand1 and what she saw was rather a phantom standing in a land of mirage than a man standing in the world of men4 ,some day1 perhaps1 ,i will prove to you that he is not1 ,valentine said4 ,eh1 how8 ,she had lost all self-consciousness now1 and in her eagerness of fear1 wonder1 and curiosity seemed tormented by the veil of yellow hair that was flopping in frizzy strands round her face and over her eyes4 ,she seized it in her two hands1 and with a few shooting gestures1 in and out1 wound it into a dishevelled lump1 which she stuck to the back of her head with two or three pins4 ,all the time she was looking at ,valentine for an answer to her question4 ,perhaps ,i don't know how yet4 ,yes1 you do1 though4 ,i can see you do4 ,what have you got to do with him1 with ,marr8 ,i never said ,i had anything to do with him4 ,ah6 but you have4 ,i always knew it6 ,many men are linked together by thin1 perhaps invisible threads1 impalpable and impossible to define4 ,the lady of the feathers was out of her depth in this sentence1 so she only tossed her head and murmured3 ,oh1 ,i dessay6 with an effort after contempt4 ,but ,valentine's mood seemed to change4 ,an abstracted gaiety stole over him4 ,if it was simulated1 the simulation was very perfect and complete4 ,sitting back in his chair1 the cigarette smoke curling lightly round him1 his large blue eyes glancing gravely now at ,cuckoo crumpled up on the horsehair sofa1 now meditatively at some object in the little room1 or at the ceiling1 he spoke in a low1 clear1 level voice1 as if uttering his thoughts aloud1 careless or oblivious of any listener4 ,every man who lives1 and who has a personality1 has something to do with many men whom he has never seen1 whom he will never see4 ,messengers go from him as carrier-pigeons go from a ship4 ,he may live alone1 as a ship is alone in mid-ocean1 but the messengers are winged1 and their wings are strong4 ,they fly high and they fly far1 and wherever they pause and rest1 that man has left a mark1 has stamped himself1 has uttered himself1 has planted a seed of his will4 ,have you a religion8 ,valentine stopped abruptly after uttering this question1 and waited for an answer4 ,it was characteristic enough4 ,what8 said the lady of the feathers1 staring wide-eyed4 ,i say1 have you a religion8 ,not ,i4 ,how can ,i when ,i don't go to no church8 ,that is1 no doubt1 a convincing proof of heathendom4 ,and yet ,i have a religion that never leads me to a church door4 ,my religion is will1 my gospel is the gospel of influence1 and my god is power4 ,will binds the world into a net1 whose strands are like iron4 ,will dies if it is weak1 but if it is strong enough it becomes practically immortal4 ,but1 though it lives itself1 it has the power to kill others4 ,it can murder a soul in a man or a woman1 and throw it into the grave to decay and go to dust1 and in the man it can create a soul diametrically opposite to the corpse1 and the world will say the man is the same2 but he is not the same4 ,he is another man4 ,or if the will is not strong enough actually to kill a soul--at this point ,valentine spoke more slowly1 and there was a certain note of uneasiness1 even almost of agitation1 in his voice--it can yet expel it from the body in which it resides1 and drive it1 like a new ,ishmael1 into the desert1 where it must hover1 useless1 hopeless1 degraded1 and naked1 because it has no body to work in4 ,yes6 yes6 that must be so6 ,the soul can have no power divorced from the body6 none6 none6 ,he got up from his chair1 and began to pace the little room4 ,cuckoo watched him as a child might watch a wild animal in its cage4 ,his face was hard and thin with deep thought1 and hers was contorted under her yellow hair--contorted in a frantic effort to grasp and to understand what he was saying2 for1 stupid1 ignorant as the lady of the feathers was1 she had a sharp demon in her that often told her the truth1 and this demon whispered now in her ear3 ,listen1 and you may learn things that you long to know6 ,and she listened motionless1 her eyes bright and eager1 her lips shut together1 her slim body a-quiver with intensity1 mental and physical4 ,how can it8 ,valentine went on4 ,what is a soul without a body8 ,you cannot see it4 ,you cannot hear it1 and if you think you can1 that is a vile trick of the mind1 an hallucination4 ,for if one man can see it1 why not another8 ,here1 let me look into your eyes again4 ,as he said the last words1 he stopped opposite to ,cuckoo1 suddenly caught her chin in his two hands1 which felt hard and cold1 and forcibly pushed up her face towards his4 ,she was terrified1 beginning now to think him mad1 and to fear personal injury4 ,gazing hard and furtively into her eyes1 he said3 ,no2 it's a lie6 ,it is not there4 ,it never was6 ,it is dead and finished with1 and ,i won't fear it4 ,as if struck by the fatigue of some sudden reaction1 he sank down again into his chair1 and went on with his apparently fantastic monologue3 ,and if it was ever alive1 what could it do8 ,a soul can't work1 except through a body2 it must fasten on a body1 and bend the body to its will--man is such a creature that he can only be influenced through flesh and blood1 nerves1 sinews1 eyes1 things he can see1 things that he can hear4 ,he is so grovelling that nothing more delicate than these really appeals to him4 ,again1 and this time with less abstraction1 and with a sort of contemptuous humour1 he turned to the lady of the feathers1 and continued1 as if once more aware of her presence3 ,are you imbibing my gospel1 the gospel of will and of influence8 ,i see you are by your pretty attitude and by the engaging face you are making at me4 ,well1 don't get it wrong4 ,a gospel gone wrong in a mind is dangerous1 and worse than no gospel at all4 ,if you get this gospel wrong you may become conceited1 and fancy yourself possessed of a power which you haven't a notion of4 ,to use will in any really affective way1 you must train your body1 and take care of it1 not ruin it1 and let it run to seed1 or grow disfigured1 or a ghastly tell-tale1 a truth-teller1 a town-crier with a big bell going about and calling aloud all the silly or criminal things you do4 ,now you have forgotten this1 or perhaps you never knew it1 and so will could not work in you2 not even1 ,i believe1 a malign will to do mischief4 ,you have thrown your body to the wolves1 and whoever looks upon you must see the marks of their teeth4 ,it was evident that he gloated on this idea that the body of the lady of the feathers was forever useless for good1 and even powerless to do much effective evil4 ,he seemed to revel in the notion that she was simply a thing powerless1 negative1 and totally vain4 ,i was mad ever to imagine the contrary1 he said4 ,then1 glancing away from personality1 he exclaimed with more energy3 ,but sometimes a will is so great1 so trained1 so watchful of opportunities1 so acute and ready1 that1 instead of passing away practically on the passing away of the body in which it has been born and has lived1 and merely living and working through the emanations of itself that have clung to men and women in many different places1 instead--in fact--of being diffused--you understand me8 he broke out1 with an obvious delight in the grossness of her ignorance and the denseness of her bewilderment and misunderstanding of him--which is a sort of death1 it seizes1 whole1 as a body1 with all the members sound1 upon another home4 ,it commits1 in effect1 a great act of brigandage4 ,it lives on complete1 powerful--even more powerful than ever before1 because to all its original powers it adds a glory of deception1 and is a living lie4 ,if only you could understand me6 ,suddenly he burst into a peal of laughter that was a full stop to his philosophy4 ,his cigarette had gone out4 ,he threw it into the grate and stretched out his arms1 still laughing4 ,and ,cuckoo gazing at him1 as if fascinated1 said silently to herself1 ,if only ,i could6 ,for she felt as if ,valentine were telling her a great secret1 secure in the hideous knowledge that1 though she heard it1 it must remain a secret from her on account of her ignorance and of her stupidity4 ,there was something in that feeling peculiarly maddening1 yet ,cuckoo displayed no irritation4 ,the sharp little demon at her elbow whispered to her to be silent1 told her that she might learn1 might yet understand1 if she would play a part1 and be no more the wildcat1 the foolishly impulsive lady of the feathers4 ,valentine struck his hand upon the table1 and repeated3 ,why--why can't you understand8 ,the piquancy of the situation evidently delighted his mind and his sense of mischief4 ,he enjoyed playing the philosopher to a fool2 and the more the fool became a fool1 the higher soared his philosophy and his appreciation of it4 ,there is always something paradoxical in wisdom instructing folly1 for1 after all1 folly can never really learn1 can never really understand4 ,valentine hugged that thought4 ,go on1 the lady of the feathers said1 apparently in gaping wonderment4 ,why8 do you mean to tell me you are interested8 ,i'm listenin'6 ,it sounds wonderful6 ,it is wonderful6 ,valentine cried4 ,every living lie is wonderful4 ,but you don't know yet much about will4 ,my gospel is full of secrets and of subtleties1 and only a few people are beginning to guess at its far-reaching power1 and to aim at learning its truths and sounding its depths4 ,and many unbelievers play with it1 and never know that they are playing with fire4 ,a man did this once4 ,shall ,i tell you about him8 ,yes6 said ,cuckoo4 ,and her soul cried to the darkness in which she imagined some vague power to dwell2 cried aloud for understanding4 ,this silent cry was so intense that she lay back upon the hard sofa1 almost exhausted1 and as she lay there1 something hot1 like fire1 seemed to make its nest in her heart1 and to flame there1 and to be alive1 as a flame is alive1 and to speak to her1 but not aloud1 as a flame speaks in the coals to the imagination of the watcher by the hearth4 ,in that moment the lady of the feathers felt as if she were conscious of a new companion1 a companion full of some intensity towards her1 some anxiety about her1 anxious and brilliant as a flame is1 vital1 keen1 blazing1 intense4 ,although she could not define her sensation thus1 that lack of analytical power could not deprive her of it4 ,she knew that her vision became clearer1 that her mind became brighter1 that a light illumined her1 that she was1 for the moment1 greater than herself4 ,but ,valentine did not know it4 ,he looked towards the sofa and saw spread upon it a thin1 painted1 haggard young creature curled into a position at once passionate1 languid1 and merely awkward1 with relentless1 thickly tangled hair1 staring eyes1 and half-opened lips1 glowering in rouged stupidity and a coarseness of the gutter4 ,he was a philosopher1 with a beauty of the stars and of snows1 with a refinement1 white in its brilliance4 ,she was an image of ,regent ,street1 a ghastly idol of the town2 and he was telling her strange things that she could never comprehend1 in a jargon that was to her as ,greek or as ,hebrew4 ,it was too absurd4 ,yet he loved to tell her1 and he could scarcely tell why he loved it4 ,go on1 said the lady of the feathers4 ,this man1 ,valentine said1 assuming a devout earnestness to trick her more1 and watching for the puzzled expression to grow and to deepen in her eyes1--this man had a holy nature1 or ,i will say an unalterable will to do only things pure1 reserved1 refined--things that could not lead his body into difficulties1 or his mind into quagmires4 ,he was a saint without a religion4 ,that is a possibility1 ,i assure you2 for a will can be amazingly independent4 ,he had the peculiar grace that is said to belong to angels1 a definite repugnance to sin4 ,i know you understand me4 ,she nodded bluntly4 ,i know--he couldn't go wrong1 if it was ever so1 she ejaculated4 ,if it was ever so--as the housemaids say--you put the position of this man in a nutshell1 and if this strange will of his had never relented1 the transformation ,i am going to describe1 or-- he paused for a moment as if in doubt1 then continued--or rather to hint at1 would never have taken place4 ,but he grew dissatisfied with his will4 ,it bored him ever so little4 ,he fancied he would like to change it1 and to substitute for it the will of the world4 ,and the will of the world1 as you know well1 my lady of the feathers1 is to sin4 ,for some time he longed1 vaguely enough1 to be different1 to be1 in fact1 lower down in the scale than he was4 ,but his longing to be able to desire sin did not lead him to desire it actually4 ,one can force one's self to do a thing1 you see1 but one cannot force one's self to wish to do it1 or to enjoy doing it4 ,and this man1 being a selfish saint--saints are very often very selfish--would not sin without desiring it4 ,so it seemed that he must remain forever as he was1 a human piece of flawless porcelain1 wishing to be cracked and common delft4 ,whatever did he wish it for8 asked ,cuckoo1 with the surprise of a zany4 ,who can tell why one man wishes for one thing1 another for another8 ,that1 too1 is a mystery4 ,the point is1 that he did wish it1 and that he did something more4 ,what was that1 eh8 ,he deliberately tried to weaken and to deface his will2 to alter it4 ,and he chose curious means1 acting under suggestion from another will or influence that was more powerful than his own1 because it was utterly self-satisfied and desired only to be what it was4 ,i don't think ,i will tell you what the means were4 ,but his original dissatisfaction with his own goodness was the weapon that brought about his own destruction4 ,his will did not change1 as he believed2 but what do you think actually happened to it8 ,i will tell you4 ,it was expelled from his body4 ,he lost it forever4 ,he lost1 in fact1 his identity4 ,for will is personality1 soul1 the ego1 the man himself4 ,and this soul1 if you choose to call it so1 was driven into the air4 ,it went away in the darkness1 like a bird4 ,do you see8 ,he waved his hand upward1 and lifted his eyes1 as if following with them the flight that he described4 ,it flew away6 ,where did it go8 ejaculated ,cuckoo4 ,valentine seemed suddenly to become fully aware of the depth of her interest4 ,ah6 even you are fascinated by my gospel1 you who cannot understand it1 he said4 ,but ,i cannot tell you where it went4 ,i too have wondered4 ,he knit his brows rather moodily over this question of location4 ,i too have wondered4 ,but ,i imagine that it died2 that it ceased to be4 ,divorced from the body that was its home1 degraded by dissatisfaction with itself1 of what use could it be to any one8 ,even if it still continues to be1 it is practically dead1 for it can work neither harm nor good to any one1 and the thing that cannot be good or evil1 or turn others towards the one or the other1 is dead4 ,it is no more a will4 ,it is no more an influence4 ,it is a heart without a pulse in it2 in fact1 it is nothing4 ,a sort of joy had leapt into his face as he dwelt on this idea of nothingness1 and he added3 ,it is something like your soul1 my lady of the feathers4 ,do you hear me8 ,yes4 ,i hear6 ,but the will that ousted it gained in power by that triumph4 ,totally self-satisfied1 desirous of being only that which it is1 having no enemy of yearning disappointment with itself in its camp1 it can do what will never did before4 ,it can lead captive the soul that was formerly the captive of the soul that it drove away to die4 ,like an enemy it has seized its opponent's camp1 and the slave dwelling in that camp is now its slave forever4 ,as ,valentine spoke he seemed to become almost intoxicated with the thoughts conjured up by his own words4 ,his blue eyes blazed with a fury of shining excitement4 ,his white cheeks were suffused with blood4 ,i have made myself1 my will1 a god6 he exclaimed passionately4 ,at the words the lady of the feathers moved suddenly forward on the sofa4 ,what--you6 she said4 ,the last word was uttered with an intensity that could surely only spring from something near akin to comprehension1 if not from actual comprehension itself4 ,it certainly startled ,valentine1 or seemed to startle him4 ,his face showed an amazement like the amazement of a man raving to an image of wood1 to whom1 abruptly1 the wood speaks with a tongue4 ,what do you mean8 he said1 and his voice faltered from its note of triumph and of exultation4 ,cuckoo resumed her former position4 ,only was you the will1 or the man1 or whatever it all is8 she replied in the voice of one hopelessly muddled4 ,valentine was reassured as to her stupidity4 ,that has nothing to do with the story1 he said4 ,there was two of them1 was there8 she persisted1 but still with the accent of a hopeless dullard4 ,oh yes4 ,one will must always work upon another1 or else there could be no story worth the telling4 ,oh1 ,i see2 that's it4 ,valentine again broke into laughter4 ,you see1 do you8 he said4 ,you see that1 but do you see the truth of what ,i told you before about the connection of the will with the body8 ,do you see why you have no power now1 can never have power again8 ,do you understand that the wreck of your body inevitably causes the wreck of your will1 so that it really dies and ceases1 because it can no more influence others8 ,do you understand that8 ,i'll make you understand it now4 ,come here4 ,he got up from his chair and seized her two hands in his1 dragging her almost violently up from the sofa4 ,her fear of him1 always lurking near1 came upon her with a rush at the contact of his hands1 and she hung back1 moved by an irresistible repulsion4 ,the slight and momentary struggle between them caused her hair1 carelessly turned up and loosely pinned1 to come down4 ,it fell all round her in a loose shock of unnatural colour4 ,valentine's hands were strong1 and ,cuckoo soon felt that resistance was useless4 ,she let her body yield1 and he drew her in front of the glass that stood over the mantelpiece4 ,pushing back the table behind them1 he made her stand still in the unwinking glare of the three gas-jets1 which she had herself turned up earlier in the evening4 ,look there6 he cried2 look at yourself well6 ,how can you have power over anybody8 ,their two faces1 set close together as in a frame1 stared at them from the mirror1 and ,cuckoo--forced to obedience--examined them as if indeed they were a picture4 ,she saw the man's face1 fair1 beautiful1 refined1 triumphant1 full of the courage that is based upon experience of itself and of its deeds and possibilities1 full of a strange excitement that filled the face with amazingly vivid expression4 ,she saw the bright blue eyes gazing at her1 the red lips of the mouth curved in a smile4 ,there was health in the face as well as thought4 ,and there was power1 which is greater than health1 more beautiful even than beauty4 ,and then she turned her eyes to the face's companion4 ,thin1 sharp1 faded1 it met her eyes1 half-shrouded in the thick1 tumbled hair that shone in the mirror with the peculiar frigid glare that can only be imparted by a chemical dye1 and can never be simulated by nature4 ,one cheek was chalk-white4 ,the other1 which had been pressed against the horsehair of the sofa1 showed a harsh1 scarlet patch4 ,all the varying haggard expressions of the world seemed crowding in the eyes of this scarecrow1 and peering beneath the thickly blackened eyelashes that struck a violent discord against the yellow hair4 ,the thin lips of the mouth were pressed together in an expression of pain1 fear1 and weariness4 ,shadows slept under the eyes where the face had fallen into hollows4 ,to-night there seemed no vestige of prettiness in those peaked features4 ,nothing of health1 youth1 gaiety1 or even girlhood1 was written in them1 but only a terrible1 a brutal record of spoliation and of wreckage1 of plunder1 and of despair4 ,and the gaslight1 striking the flat surface of the mirror1 made the record glitter with a thin1 cheap sparkle1 like the tinsel trappings of the life whose story the mirror revealed in its reflection4 ,how1 indeed1 could such a creature have power over fellow man or woman for good or for evil8 ,if weakness can be written without words1 it seemed written in that wasted countenance1 which ,cuckoo examined with a creeping horror that numbed her like frost4 ,as she did so1 ,valentine was watching the ungraciousness of her face in the glass deepen and glide1 moment by moment1 into greater ugliness1 greater degradation4 ,and as the little light there had ever been behind those unquiet eyes1 faded gradually away1 in his reflected eyes the light leaped up into fuller glare1 sparkling to unbridled triumph4 ,and his reflected lips smiled more defiantly1 until the smile was no longer touched merely with triumph1 but with something more vehement and more malign6 ,cuckoo did not see the change4 ,she saw only herself1 and her heart cried and wailed1 ,what good--what good to love ,julian8 ,what good to hate ,valentine8 ,what good to fight for the man she loved against the man she loathed8 ,as well set a doll to move its tense joints against an army1 or a scarecrow to defy a god6 ,never before had she realized thoroughly the complete tragedy of her life4 ,hitherto she had assisted at it in fragments1 coming in for a scene here1 a scene there4 ,now she sat through the whole of the five acts1 and the only thing she missed was the fall of the curtain4 ,that remained up4 ,but why8 ,there was--there could be--nothing more to come1 unless a dreary recapitulation of such dreary events as had already been displayed4 ,such a cup could hold no wine that was not foul1 thick1 and poisonous4 ,and she had known herself so little as to imagine that she could really love1 and that her love might fulfil itself in protection instead of sensual gratification4 ,yes1 vaguely she had believed that4 ,she had even believed that she could put on armour and do battle against--and at this point in her desperate meditation the lady of the feathers shifted her eyes from her own face mirrored to the face beside it4 ,as she did so1 a sudden cry escaped from her lips4 ,for a moment she thought she saw the face of the dead ,marr1 and the hallucination was so vivid that when it was gone and the mirror once more revealed the face of ,valentine1 ,cuckoo had no thought but that she had really seen ,marr4 ,she turned sharply round and cast a glance behind her4 ,then3 ,did you see him8 she whispered to ,valentine4 ,whom8 ,him--,marr6 ,he's not dead2 he's here2 he's here1 ,i tell you4 ,i see him in the glass6 ,she shivered4 ,the room seemed spinning round with her1 and the two faces danced and sprang in the mirror1 as if a hand shook it up and down1 from side to side4 ,if he is here1 ,valentine said1 it is not in the way you fancy4 ,your imagination has played you a trick4 ,didn't you--didn't you see him8 ,don't you see him now8 ,i see only you and myself4 ,as if for a joke he bent his head and peered closely at the mirror1 like a man endeavouring to discern some very pale and dim reflection there4 ,no1 he's--he's not there6 he murmured1 but-- ,with a harsh exclamation he dashed his fist against the mirrored face of the lady of the feathers4 ,the glass cracked and broke from top to bottom4 ,cuckoo cried out4 ,valentine's hand had blood upon it4 ,he did not seem to know this1 and swung round upon her with an almost savage fury4 ,don't--don't1 for ,god's sake1 she cried1 fearing an attack4 ,but he made no movement against her4 ,on the contrary1 an expression of relief chased the anger from his lips and eyes4 ,ah6 he said1 that's a lying mirror6 ,it lied to you and to me4 ,i smashed it4 ,well1 ,i'll give you another that is more truthful1 and more ornamental too4 ,what was it you saw8 she murmured4 ,a silly vision1 power where there is only weakness2 a will1 a soul1 where there could not be one6 ,eh8 was it that you struck at8 ,why do you ask8 he said with sudden suspicion4 ,you struck where my face was1 she said doggedly4 ,you did1 you did6 ,nonsense6 ,it ain't6 ,why did you do it1 then8 ,a gleam of hope had shot into her eyes1 lit by his weird attack upon her mirrored image4 ,after all1 despite his sneers at her faded body1 his gibes at her faded and decaying soul1 he struck at her as a man strikes at the thing he fears4 ,in that faded soul a wild hope and courage leaped up1 banishing all the sick despair which had preceded it4 ,the lady of the feathers faced ,valentine with a deathless resolution of glance and of attitude4 ,you've been telling lies1 she said you've been telling me damned lies6 ,what do you mean8 ,you said as ,i was--was done with4 ,a forced smile came like a hissing snake on ,valentine's lips4 ,so you are6 ,i ain't6 ,i ain't6 ,what's more1 you know it6 ,you have broken yourself to pieces as ,i have broken that mirror6 ,he spoke with an effort after scathing contempt1 but she detected a quiver of agitation in his voice4 ,if ,i have1 ,i'll break you yet6 she cried4 ,me8 ,what are you talking about8 ,you know well enough4 ,but do you know--do you know that ,i--,i am ,marr8 ,he almost whispered the last words6 ,a chill of awe fell over the lady of the feathers4 ,she did not understand what he meant1 and yet she felt as if he spoke the truth1 as if this inexplicable mystery were yet indeed no fiction1 no phantasy1 but stern fact1 and as if1 strangely1 she had at the back of her mind divined it1 known it when she first knew ,valentine1 yet only realized it now that he himself told her4 ,she did not speak4 ,she only looked at him1 turning white slowly as she looked4 ,i am ,marr1 he repeated4 ,now do you understand my gospel8 ,understand it if you can1 for you are bereft of the power that belongs of right only to the woman who is pure4 ,long ago1 perhaps1 you might have fought me4 ,who knows1 you might even have conquered me8 ,but you have thrown yourself to the wolves1 and they have torn you till you are only a skeleton4 ,and how can a soul dwell in a skeleton8 ,your soul1 your will1 is as useless as that vagrant soul of ,valentine1 which ,i expelled into the air and into the night4 ,it can do nothing2 you can do nothing either4 ,if ,i have ever feared you1 and hated you because ,i feared you1 ,i have fooled myself4 ,i have divined your thoughts4 ,i have known your enmity against me1 and your love--yours6--for ,julian4 ,but if the soul and the will of ,valentine could not save ,julian from my possession1 how can yours8 ,you are an outcast of the streets6 ,go back to the streets4 ,live in them6 ,die in them6 ,they are your past1 your present1 your future4 ,they are your hell1 your heaven4 ,they are everything to you4 ,i tell you that you are as much of them as are the stones of the pavement that the feet of such women as you tread night after night4 ,and what soul can a street thing have8 ,what can be the will of a creature who gives herself to every man who beckons1 and who follows every voice that calls8 ,i feared you4 ,i might as well have feared a shadow1 an echo1 a sigh of the wind1 or the fall of an autumn leaf4 ,i might as well have feared that personal devil whom men raise up for themselves as a bogey4 ,will is ,god6 ,will is the ,devil6 ,will is everything6 ,and you--you1 having tossed your will away--are nothing4 ,he had spoken gravely1 even sombrely4 ,on the last word he was gone4 ,the lady of the feathers stood alone in the ugly little room1 and heard the clock of the great church close by chime the hour of midnight4 ,her face was set and white under its rouge1 in its frame of disordered canary-coloured hair4 ,her eyes were clouded with perplexity1 with horror1 and with awe4 ,yet she looked undaunted4 ,staring at the door through which the man men still called ,valentine ,cresswell had vanished1 she whispered3 ,it ain't true6 ,it ain't6 ,nothin' does for a woman2 not when she loves a man6 ,nothin'4 ,nothin'4 ,she fell down against the hard horsehair sofa1 and stretched her arms upon it1 and laid her head against them1 as if she prayed4 ,,book ,,iv--,,doctor ,,levillier ,,chapter ,i ,,the ,,lady ,,visits ,,doctor ,,levillier ,the ,russian ,grand ,duke1 whose malady was mainly composed of two ingredients1 unlimited wealth and almost unlimited power1 was slow in recovering1 and slower still in making up his mind to part with the little nerve-doctor whom he had summoned from ,england4 ,and so ,london was beginning to fall into its misty autumn mood before ,doctor ,levillier was once more established in ,harley ,street4 ,he had heard occasionally from both ,valentine and ,julian during his long absence1 but their letters had not communicated much1 and once or twice when he1 in replying to them1 had put one or two friendly questions as to their doings1 those questions had remained unanswered4 ,the doctor had been particularly reluctant to leave ,england at the time when the ,grand ,duke's summons reached him1 as his interest and curiosity about ,valentine had just been keenly and thoroughly roused4 ,but fate fought for the moment against his curiosity4 ,it remained entirely ungratified4 ,he had not once seen ,valentine since the afternoon in ,victoria ,street1 when the lamentation of that thoroughfare's saint had struck consternation into the hearts of musical sinners4 ,nor had the doctor met any one who could give him news of the two youths over whose welfare his soul had learned to watch4 ,now1 when he returned to ,london1 he found that both ,valentine and ,julian were abroad4 ,only ,rip1 left in charge of ,julian's servant1 greeted him with joy2 ,rip1 whose conduct had given the first strong impulse to his wonder and doubt about ,valentine4 ,doctor ,levillier took up the threads of his long-forsaken practice1 and gave himself to his work while autumn closed round ,london4 ,one day he heard casually from a patient that ,valentine and ,julian had returned to town4 ,he wondered that they had not let him know3 the omission seemed curious and unfriendly4 ,during the day on which the news reached him he was1 as usual1 busily engaged from morning till evening in the reception of patients4 ,his reputation was very great1 and men and women thronged his consulting-rooms4 ,although his rule was that nobody could ever gain admission to him without an appointment1 it was a rule made to be broken4 ,he never had the heart to turn any one from his door in distress1 and so it frequently happened that his working-day was prolonged by the admission of people who unexpectedly intruded themselves upon him4 ,great ladies1 more especially1 often came to him on the spur of the moment1 prompted to seek his solace by sudden attacks of the nerves4 ,a lover had used them ill1 perhaps1 or a husband had turned upon them and had rent a long dressmaker's bill into fragments1 without paying it first4 ,or the ennui of an exquisite life of unbridled pleasure had suddenly sprung upon them like a grisly spectre1 torn their hearts1 shaken them into tears4 ,or--and this happened often--a fantastic recognition of the obvious fact that even butterflies must die1 had abruptly started into their minds1 obtruding a skeleton head above the billowing chiffons1 rattling its bones until the dismal sound outvied the frou-frou of silk1 the burr of great waving fans1 the click of high heels from ,paris4 ,then1 in terror1 they drove to ,doctor ,levillier's door and begged to see him1 if only for a moment4 ,there was no doctor in ,london so universally sought by the sane lunatics of society as ,dr4 ,levillier4 ,he was no mad-doctor4 ,he had no private asylum4 ,he had never definitely aimed at becoming a famous specialist in lunacy4 ,but the pretty lunatics came to him1 nevertheless2 the lunatics who live at afternoon parties1 till the grave yawns at their feet1 and they must go down the strange ways of another world1 teacup in hand1 scandal still fluttering upon their ashy lip2 the lunatics who live for themselves1 until their eyes are hollow as tombs and their mouths fall in from selfishness1 and their cheeks are a greenish white from satiety1 and lust's gratified flame beacons on their drawn cheeks and along their crawling wrinkles2 the lunatics who seek to be what they can never be1 the beauties of this world1 the great ,queens of the ,sun1 whose gaze shall glorify1 whose smile shall crown and bless1 whose touch shall call hearts to agony and to worship1 whose word shall take a man from his plough and send him out to win renown1 or snatch a leader from his ambition and set him creeping in the dust1 like a white mouse prisoned by a scarlet silken thread2 the lunatics who dandle religions like dolls1 and play with faiths as a boy plays with marbles1 until the moment comes when the game is over1 and the player is faced by the terror of a great lesson2 the lunatics who stare away their days behind prancing horses in the ,park1 who worship in the sacred groves of bonnets1 who burn incense to rouged and powdered fashions1 who turn literature into a movement1 and art into a cult1 and humanity into a bogey1 and love into an adulterous sensation2 the lunatics who think that to live is only another word for to sin1 that innocence is a prison and vice liberty2 the lunatics who fill their boudoirs with false gods1 and cry everlastingly1 ,baal1 hear us6 till the fire comes down from heaven1 which is no painted ceiling presided over by a plaster god4 ,these came to ,doctor ,levillier day by day1 overtaken by sad moments1 by sudden1 dreary crises of the soul1 that set them impotently wailing1 like ,job among the potsherds4 ,many of them did not curse ,god1 only because they did not believe in ,him4 ,it is not the fashion in ,london to believe in ,god just now4 ,dr4 ,levillier had always1 since he was a youth1 walking hospitals and searching the terror of life for all its secrets1 felt a deep care1 a deep solicitude1 for each duet1 body and soul1 that walked the world4 ,he had never set them apart1 never lost sight of one in turning his gaze upon the other4 ,this fact1 no doubt1 accounted partially for the fact that many looked upon him as the greatest nerve-doctor in ,london4 ,for the nervous system is surely a network lacing the body to the soul1 and vice versa4 ,every liaison has its connecting links1 the links that have brought it into being4 ,one lust stretches forth a hook and finds an eye in another1 and there is union4 ,so with faiths1 with longings1 with fine aspirations1 with sordid grovellings4 ,there is ever the hook seeking the appropriate eye4 ,the body has a hook1 the soul an eye4 ,they meet at birth and part only at death4 ,dr4 ,levillier was constantly1 and ignorantly1 entreated to adjust the one comfortably in the other4 ,it is a delicate business1 this adjustment1 sometimes an impossible business4 ,half of the ,harley ,street patients came saying1 ,make me well4 ,what they really meant was1 ,make me happy4 ,yet the most of them would have resented a valuable mixed prescription1 advice for the hook1 and advice for the eye4 ,such prescriptions had to be very deftly1 sometimes very furtively1 made up4 ,often the doctor felt an intense exhaustion steal over him towards the close of day4 ,this tremendous and eternal procession passing onwards through his life1 filing before him like a march-past of sick soldiers1 saluting him with cries1 and with questions1 and with entreaties2 this never-ceasing progress fatigued him4 ,there were moments when he longed to hide his face1 to turn away1 to shut his ears to the murmuring voices1 and his eyes to the pale1 expressive faces1 to put his great profession from him1 as one puts a beggar into the night4 ,but these were only moments1 and they passed quickly4 ,and the little doctor was always bitterly ashamed of them1 as a brave man is ashamed of a secret tug of cowardice at his heart4 ,for it seemed to him the greatest thing in all the world to help to make the unhappy rightly happier4 ,and this was1 and had always been1 his tireless endeavour4 ,upon this day one of these hated moments of mental and physical exhaustion had come upon him1 and he struggled hard against his enemy4 ,the procession of patients had been long1 and more than once in the tiny interval between the exit of one and the entry of another1 ,dr4 ,levillier had peeped at his watch4 ,his last appointment was at a quarter to five1 then he would be free1 and he said to himself that he would take a cab and drive down to ,victoria ,street4 ,valentine was often at home about six4 ,the doctor put aside the little devil of pride that whispered1 ,you have been badly treated1 and resolved to make the advance to this friend1 who seemed to have forgotten him4 ,in times of fatigue and depression he had often sought ,valentine in order to be solaced by his music4 ,but this solace was at an end1 unless1 indeed1 the strange burden of musical impotence had been lifted from ,valentine1 and his talent had been restored to him4 ,the last patient came to the doctor's door punctually and was punctually dismissed as the clock chimed the quarter of an hour after five4 ,the last prescription was written4 ,the doctor drew in a deep breath of relief4 ,he touched the bell and his servant appeared4 ,there is no one waiting8 he asked4 ,no1 sir4 ,i have made no other appointment for to-day1 and ,i am going out almost immediately4 ,if any patients should call casually tell them ,i cannot possibly see them to-day4 ,ask them to make an appointment4 ,but ,i cannot see any one to-day under any circumstances4 ,yes1 sir4 ,dr4 ,levillier took his way upstairs1 made a careful toilet1 selected from his absurd array of boots a pair perfectly polished1 put them on1 took his hat and gloves1 sighed once again heavily1 almost as a dog sighs preparatory to its sleep1 and turned to go downstairs4 ,he forgot for the moment that he was prepared to watch ,valentine4 ,perhaps1 indeed1 his long period of absence had dulled in his memory the recollection of any apparent change in his friend4 ,for at this moment of fatigue he only recalled ,valentine's expression of purity and high-souled health1 and the atmosphere of lofty serenity in which he seemed habitually to dwell4 ,the doctor wanted relief4 ,how ,valentine's presence would refresh him after this dreary array of patients1 after the continuous murmurs of their plaintive voices6 ,as he opened his bedroom door he perceived his man-servant mounting the stairs4 ,lawler1 ,i can't see any one1 he said1 more hastily than usual4 ,i told you so distinctly4 ,i am going out immediately4 ,the man paused4 ,he had been with the doctor for many years1 and both adored and understood him4 ,the doctor looked at him4 ,it is a patient1 ,i suppose8 he asked4 ,well1 sir1 ,i can't exactly say4 ,a lady8 ,yes1 sir4 ,at least1 sir--well1 no1 sir4 ,what do you mean8 ,a female1 sir4 ,what does she want8 ,to see you1 sir4 ,i can't get her to go4 ,i asked her to1 sir2 then ,i told her to4 ,well8 ,she only gave me this and said she'd come to see you1 and if you were in she'd wait4 ,he handed a card to his master4 ,the doctor took it and read3 ,cuckoo ,bright1 #djj ,marylebone ,road4 ,the words conveyed nothing to his mind1 for neither ,julian nor ,valentine had ever talked to him of the lady of the feathers4 ,cuckoo ,bright1 he said4 ,an odd name6 ,and an odd person1 ,i suppose1 ,lawler8 ,lawler pursed his lips rather primly4 ,very odd1 sir4 ,not at all a usual sort of patient1 sir4 ,h'm4 ,go and ask her if she comes as a patient or on private business4 ,the man retreated and returned4 ,the--lady says she's ill and must see you1 sir1 if only for a moment4 ,this was ,cuckoo's ruse to get into the house1 and was based upon ,julian's long-ago remark that the doctor could never resist helping any one who was in trouble4 ,standing on the doorstep1 she had histrionically simulated faintness for the special benefit of ,lawler1 who regarded her with deep suspicion4 ,i suppose ,i must see her1 the doctor said with a sigh4 ,show her in1 ,lawler4 ,lawler departed1 disapprovingly1 to do so1 and after a moment the doctor followed him4 ,he walked into his consulting-room1 where he found the lady of the feathers standing by the writing table4 ,the autumn day was growing dark1 and the street was full of deepening mist4 ,cuckoo was but a fantastic shadow in the room4 ,her dress rustled with an uneasy sound as the doctor came in4 ,his first act was to turn on the electric light4 ,in a flash the rustling shadow was converted into substance4 ,cuckoo and the doctor stood face to face1 and ,cuckoo's tired eyes fastened with a hungry1 almost a wolfish1 scrutiny upon this stranger4 ,she wanted so much of him4 ,the look was so full of intense meaning that1 coming in a flash with the electric flash1 it startled the doctor4 ,yet he had seen something like it before in the eyes of those who suspected that they carried death within them1 and came to ask him if it were true4 ,he was surprised1 too1 by her appearance4 ,the women of the streets did not come to him1 although if they had been able to read the writing in his heart many of them would surely have come4 ,he shook hands with ,cuckoo1 told her to sit down1 and sat down himself opposite to her4 ,what is the matter8 ,please tell me your symptoms1 he said gently4 ,eh8 was the reply1 spoken in a thin and high voice4 ,what has been troubling you8 ,cuckoo1 who was wholly unaccustomed to answer a doctor's questions1 started violently4 ,she fancied from his words that he had divined the lie she had told when she said that she was ill1 and knew that she came for a mental reason4 ,instinctively she connected the word trouble with the heart1 in a way that was oddly and pathetically girlish4 ,acting upon this impulse she exclaimed3 ,then you know as ,i ain't ill8 ,doctor ,levillier was still more surprised4 ,not understanding what was in her mind1 he entirely failed to keep pace with its agility4 ,why do you come to me1 then8 he asked4 ,oh1 she returned1 with a quickly gathering hesitation1 ,i thought as perhaps you knew4 ,i6 ,but we have never met before4 ,the doctor bent his eyes on her searchingly4 ,for a moment he began to wonder whether his visitor was quite right in her head4 ,cuckoo shuffled under his gaze4 ,the very kindliness of his face and gentleness of his voice made her feel hot and abashed4 ,a prickly sensation ran over her body as she cleared her throat and said1 monosyllabically3 ,no4 ,the doctor waited4 ,what is it8 he said at length4 ,tell me why you have called4 ,if you are not ill1 what is it you want of me8 ,you'll laugh1 p'r'aps4 ,laugh8 ,is it something funny1 then8 ,funny6 ,not it6 ,the sound of her voice seemed to give her some courage1 for she went on with more hardy resolution3 ,look here1 you can see what ,i am--oh yes1 you can--and you wonder what ,i'm doin' here4 ,well1 if ,i tell you1 will you promise as you won't laugh at me8 ,this was ,cuckoo's way of delicately sounding the doctor's depths4 ,she thought it decidedly subtle4 ,yes1 ,i'll promise that1 the doctor said4 ,he looked at her faded young face and felt no inclination to laugh4 ,well1 then1 ,cuckoo said1 more excitedly1 you know ,ju--,mr4 ,addison1 don't you8 ,the doctor began to see a ray of light4 ,certainly ,i do1 he said4 ,and ,mr4 ,cresswell8 ,he is one of my most intimate friends4 ,the words were spoken with an unconscious warmth that chilled ,cuckoo4 ,for surely the man who spoke thus of the man she hated1 must be her enemy4 ,she faltered visibly1 and a despairing expression crept into her eyes4 ,i don't know as it's any use my sayin' it1 she began as if half to herself4 ,the doctor saw that she was much troubled and the kindness of his nature was roused4 ,don't be afraid of me1 he said4 ,you have come here to tell me something1 tell it frankly4 ,i am a friend of both the people you mention4 ,you can't be that1 she suddenly cried4 ,nobody can't be that6 ,why not8 ,you ought to know4 ,she said it fiercely4 ,all her self-consciousness was suddenly gone1 swept away by the flood of thought and of remembrance that was surging through her mind4 ,why can't you see what he is1 she exclaimed1 any more than he can1 than ,julian--,mr4 ,addison1 ,i mean8 ,any one'd think you was all mad1 they would4 ,doctor ,levillier was glad he had admitted the lady of the feathers to his presence4 ,interest sprang up in him1 alive and searching4 ,tell me what you mean1 he said4 ,are you talking about ,mr4 ,cresswell8 ,yes1 ,i am2 and ,i say of all the beasts in ,london he's the greatest4 ,cuckoo did not choose her words carefully4 ,she was highly excited and she wanted to be impressive4 ,it seemed to her that to use strong language was the only way to be impressive4 ,so she used it4 ,the doctor's face grew graver4 ,surely you hardly know what you're saying1 he said very quietly4 ,but his thoughts flew to that summer night when his mastiffs howled against ,valentine1 and he felt as if a mystery were deepening round him as the autumn mist of evening deepened in the street outside4 ,i do1 she reiterated4 ,i do4 ,but nobody won't see it4 ,and it's no use what ,i see4 ,how can it be8 ,the words were almost a wail4 ,tell me what you see4 ,cuckoo looked into the doctor's sincere eyes1 and a sudden rush of hope came to her4 ,that's what ,i want to4 ,but if you like him you'll only be angry4 ,no1 ,i shall not4 ,well1 then4 ,i see as he's ruinin' his friend4 ,ruining ,mr4 ,addison8 ,yes4 ,it struck the doctor as very strange that such a girl as ,cuckoo obviously was should cry out in such a passionate way against the ruin of any young man4 ,was it not her fate to ruin others as she herself had been ruined8 ,he wondered what her connection with the two youths was1 and perhaps his face showed something of his wonder1 for ,cuckoo added1 after a long glance at him3 ,it's true2 yes1 it is1 as if she read his doubts4 ,how do you come to know it8 the doctor said1 not at all unkindly1 but as if anxious to elucidate matters4 ,why1 ,i tell you ,i can see it plain4 ,besides1 and here she dropped her voice1 ,valentine1 as he calls himself--though he ain't--as good as told me4 ,he did tell me1 only ,i couldn't understand4 ,he knew ,i couldn't--d'you see8 ,that's why he told me4 ,oh1 if he'd only tell you6 ,fragments of ,valentine's exposition of his deeds and of his strange gospel were floating through ,cuckoo's mind as fragments of broken wood float by on a stream1 fragments of broken wood that were part of a puzzle1 that should be rescued by some strong hand from the stream1 and fitted together into a perfect whole4 ,valentine6 ,you say he told you that he was ruining ,julian8 ,unconsciously the doctor used the ,christian names4 ,his doing so set ,cuckoo more at her ease4 ,yes4 ,not like that4 ,but he told me4 ,he ain't what you think1 nor what ,julian thinks4 ,he's somebody else1 and you can't tell it4 ,he's laughing at you all4 ,thus the gospel came forth from the painted lips of ,cuckoo1 crude and garbled1 yet true gospel4 ,the doctor was completely puzzled4 ,all he gathered from this announcement was that ,valentine seemed in some way to have been confiding in this girl of the streets4 ,such a fact was sufficiently astounding4 ,that they should ever have been associated together in any way was almost incredible to any one who knew ,valentine4 ,yet it was quite obvious that they did know each other1 and in no ordinary manner4 ,do you know ,mr4 ,cresswell well8 the doctor said4 ,he saw that he could only make the tangle clear by being to some extent judicial4 ,humanity merely excited ,cuckoo to something that was violently involved1 passionate1 and almost hysterical4 ,well enough4 ,and ,mr4 ,addison8 ,cuckoo flushed slowly4 ,yes1 ,i know him--quite well4 ,an almost similar answer1 but given with such a change of manner as would be possible only in a woman4 ,it told the doctor much of the truth and gave him the first page of a true reading of ,cuckoo's character4 ,but he went on with apparently unconscious quietude3 ,and you came here to tell me1 who know and like them both1 that the one is ruining the other4 ,what made you come to me8 ,why1 somethin' ,julian said once4 ,he thinks a lot of you4 ,i was afraid to come1 but ,i--,i thought ,i would4 ,it's seein' them--at least ,julian--since they got back made me come4 ,i haven't seen them yet1 the doctor said1 and there was an interrogation in the accent with which he spoke4 ,something in ,cuckoo's intense manner roused both wonder and alarm in him4 ,she evidently spoke driven by tremendous impulse4 ,what vision had given that impulse life8 ,ah6 she said1 and fell suddenly into a dense silence1 touching her left cheek mechanically with her hand1 which was covered by a long1 black silk glove4 ,she alternately pressed the fingers of it against the cheek bone and withdrew them1 as one who marks the progress of a tune1 hummed or played on some instrument4 ,her eyes were staring downwards upon the carpet4 ,the doctor watched her1 and the wonder and fear grew in him4 ,have you nothing more to tell me8 he said at last4 ,eh8 ,she put down her hand slowly and turned her eyes on him4 ,what do you wish me to do8 he said1 ,i do not know yet what may-- he checked himself and substituted1 ,i must go and see my friends4 ,yes1 go4 ,she nodded her head slowly1 and then she shivered as she sat in the chair4 ,go1 and do somethin'1 she said4 ,i would--,i want to--but ,i can't4 ,it's true1 ,i suppose1 what he said4 ,i'm nearly done with1 ,i'm spoilt4 ,i say1 you're a doctor1 aren't you8 ,you know things8 ,tell me then1 do1 what's the good of goin' on being able to feel--,i mean to feel just like anybody1 anybody as hasn't gone down1 you know--if you can't do anythin' the same as they can1 get round anybody to make 'em go right8 ,i could send him right1 ,i could1 as well as any girl1 if feelin' 'd only do it4 ,but feelin' ain't a bit of good4 ,it's looks1 ,i suppose4 ,everythin' 's looks4 ,no1 not everything1 the doctor said4 ,cuckoo's speech both interested and touched him4 ,its confused wistfulness came straight from the heart4 ,and then it recalled to the doctor a conversation he had had with ,valentine1 when they talked over the extraordinary influence that the mere appearance--will working through features--of one man or woman can have over another4 ,the doctor could only at present rather dimly apprehend the feeling entertained for ,julian by ,cuckoo4 ,but as he glanced at her1 he understood very well the pathos of the contest raging at present between her heart and the painted shell which held it4 ,nobody who feels goodness is utterly bereft of the power of bringing good to another1 he said4 ,for we can seldom really feel what we can never really be4 ,light shone through the shadows of the tired face at the words4 ,he said different from that1 she exclaimed4 ,he--who8 ,him as you call ,valentine4 ,that's why he told me all about it1 because he knew as ,i shouldn't understand1 and because he thinks ,i can't do nothin' for any one4 ,but ,i say1 you do somethin' for ,julian1 will you1 will you8 ,there was a passion of pleading in her voice4 ,she had lost her fear of him1 and1 stretching out her hand1 touched the sleeve of his coat4 ,i don't understand it all1 the doctor said4 ,i don't like to accept what you say about ,mr4 ,cresswell1 even in thought4 ,but ,i will go and see him1 and ,julian4 ,the dogs1 he added in a low and secret voice to himself4 ,there is something terribly strange in all this4 ,he fell into a silence of consideration that lasted longer than he knew4 ,the lady of the feathers began to fidget in it uneasily4 ,she felt that her mission was perhaps accomplished and that she ought to go4 ,she looked across at the doctor1 pulled her silk gloves up on her thin arms1 and kicked one foot against the other4 ,he did not seem to notice4 ,she glanced towards the window4 ,the fog was pressing its face against the glass like a dreary and terrible person looking upon them with haggard eyes4 ,it was time1 she supposed1 for her to drift out into the arms that belonged to that dreary and terrible face4 ,she got up4 ,i'll go now1 she said4 ,the doctor did not hear4 ,i'll go now1 please1 she repeated4 ,this time he heard and got up4 ,he looked at her and said1 ,i have your address4 ,i will see you again4 ,if misery chanced to stand once in his path1 he seldom lost sight of it till he had at least tried to bring a smile to its lips1 a ray of hope to its eyes4 ,but in the instance of ,cuckoo he had other reasons1 or might have other reasons1 for seeing her in the future4 ,you are sure you have nothing more to say to me8 he asked4 ,she shook her head4 ,no1 ,i don't think1 she murmured4 ,then good-bye4 ,he held out his hand4 ,she put hers in it1 with an action that was oddly ladylike for ,cuckoo4 ,then she went out1 rather awkwardly1 in a reaction1 to the hall1 the doctor following4 ,he opened the door for her1 and the mist crawled instantly in4 ,it's a gloomy night1 he said4 ,very autumnal4 ,yes1 ain't it8 ,i do hate the nights4 ,she spoke the words with an accent that was venemous4 ,c-r-r6 she said4 ,and with that ejaculation1 half an uttered shiver1 half a muttered curse1 she gave herself to the fog1 and was gone4 ,doctor ,levillier stood for a moment looking into the vague and dreamy darkness4 ,then he put on his coat and hat1 caught up a cab whistle1 and with a breath1 sent a shrill and piercing note into the night4 ,long and mournfully it sounded4 ,and only the moist silence answered like that paradox--a voice that is dumb4 ,again and again the cry went forth1 and at last there was an answering rattle4 ,two bright eyes advanced in the fog very slowly1 looking for the sound1 it seemed1 as for a thing visible4 ,the doctor got into the cab1 and set forth in the fog to visit ,valentine4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,,the ,,voice ,,in ,,the ,,empty ,,room ,when the doctor arrived at the ,victoria ,street flat ,valentine's man answered his ring4 ,wade had been with ,valentine for many years and was always famous for his great devotion to1 and admiration of1 his master4 ,wade was also especially partial--as he would have expressed himself--to ,doctor ,levillier1 and when he saw who the visitor was1 his face relaxed into contentment that strongly suggested a smile4 ,back at last ,wade1 you see1 the doctor said1 cheerfully4 ,is ,mr4 ,cresswell in8 ,no1 sir4 ,but ,i expect him every minute to dress for dinner4 ,he's dining out1 and it's near seven now4 ,will you come in and wait8 ,yes4 ,the doctor entered and walked into the drawing-room1 preceded by ,wade1 who turned on the light4 ,why6 what have you been doing to the room8 the doctor said1 looking round in some surprise4 ,dear me4 ,it's very much altered4 ,in truth1 the change in it was marked4 ,the grand piano had vanished1 and in its place stood an enormous cabinet made of wood1 stained black1 and covered with grotesque gold figures1 whose unnatural faces were twisted into the expressions of all the vices4 ,some of these faces smiled1 others scowled1 others protruded forked tongues like snakes and seemed to hiss along the blackness of the background4 ,the shapes of the figures were voluptuous and yet suggested1 rather than fully revealed1 deformity1 as if the minds of these monsters sought to reveal their distortion by the very lines of their curved and wanton limbs4 ,upon the top of this cabinet stood a gigantic rose-coloured jar filled with orchids1 the ,messalinas of the hothouse1 whose mauve corruption and spotted faces leered down to greet the gold goblins beneath4 ,it was easy to imagine them whispering to each other soft histories of unknown sins1 and jeering at the corrupt respectabilities of ,london1 as they clustered together and leaned above the ruddy ramparts of the china1 wild flowers as no hedgerow violet1 or pale smirking primrose1 is ever wild in the farthest wood4 ,glancing from this cabinet1 and those that stood upon it1 the doctor was aware of a deep and dusty note of red in the room1 sounding from carpet and walls1 tingling drowsily in the window curtains and in the cushions that lay upon the couches4 ,this was not the crude and cheerful sealing-wax red with which the festive ,philistine loves to dye the whiteness of his dining-room walls1 cooling its chubby absurdity with panels of that old oak1 which is forever new4 ,it was a dim and deep colour1 such as a dust-filmed ruby might emit if illuminated by a soft light4 ,and ,valentine had shrouded it so adroitly that though it pervaded the entire room1 it always seemed distant and remote1 a background1 vast perhaps1 but clouded and shadowed by nearer things4 ,these nearer things were many1 for ,valentine's original asceticism1 which had displayed itself essentially in the slight bareness of his principal sitting-room had apparently been swept away by a tumultuous greed for ornaments4 ,the room was crowded with furniture1 chairs1 and sofas of the most peculiar shapes1 divans and tables1 bookstands and settees4 ,one couch was made of wood1 carved and painted into the semblance of a woman1 between whose outstretched arms was placed the pillow to receive the head of one resting there4 ,another lay on the bent backs of two grinning ,indian boys1 whose crouching limbs seemed twined into a knot4 ,upon the tables and cabinets stood a thousand ornaments1 many of them silver toys1 sweetmeat-boxes1 tiny ivory figures and wriggling atrocities from the ,east4 ,but what struck the doctor most in the transformation of the room was the panorama presented upon its walls4 ,the pictures that he remembered so well were all gone4 ,the classical figures1 the landscapes full of atmosphere and of delicacy had vanished4 ,and from their places leered down jockeys and street-women painted by ,jan ,van ,beers and ,dgas1 ,chaplin and ,gustav ,courbet1 while above the mantelpiece1 where once had hung ,the ,merciful ,knight1 a ,cocotte by ,leibl smoked a pipe into the room4 ,it seemed incredible that ,valentine could be at rest in such a livid chamber1 and not even the vague communications of ,cuckoo woke in the doctor such a definite and alive sensation of discomfort as this vision of outward change that must surely betoken an inward transformation of the most vivid and unusual kind4 ,and everywhere1 as a deep and monotonous bell ringing relentlessly through a symphony of discordant and crying passions1 there sounded that sinister note of deep and dusty red4 ,despite his own complete health of mind1 and the frantic disquisitions of the morbid ,nordau1 the little doctor felt as if he heard the colour1 as if it spoke from beneath his very feet1 as if it sang under his fingers when he laid them on the brocade of a couch1 as if the room palpitated with a heavy music which murmured drowsily in his ears a monotonous song of dull and weary change4 ,no silence had ever before spoken to him so powerfully4 ,he was greatly affected1 and did not scruple to show his discomfort to ,wade1 who waited respectfully by the door4 ,what an alteration6 he said again1 but in a lower and more withdrawn voice4 ,i cannot recognize the room ,i once knew--and loved6 ,mr4 ,valentine has been doing it up1 sir4 ,but why1 ,wade2 why8 ,i don't know1 sir2 a fancy1 ,i suppose1 sir4 ,an evil one1 the doctor murmured to himself4 ,he glanced at ,wade4 ,it struck him that the man's mind might possibly march with ,cuckoo's in detection of his master's transformation1 if transformation there were4 ,wade returned the doctor's glance with calm1 good breeding4 ,mr4 ,valentine is well1 ,i hope1 ,wade8 he said4 ,very well1 sir1 ,i believe4 ,and ,mr4 ,addison8 ,i couldn't quite say1 sir1 as to that4 ,do you mean that he looks ill8 ,i couldn't say1 sir4 ,mr4 ,julian don't look quite what he was1 to my view1 sir4 ,oh4 ,the butler's level voice mingled with the clouded red of the room1 and again a prophetic chord of change was struck4 ,thank you1 ,wade said the doctor4 ,the man retired1 and the doctor was left alone in the empty room4 99 99 99 99 99 ,although he was intensely sensitive1 ,doctor ,levillier was not a man whose nerves played him tricks4 ,he was1 above all things1 sane1 both in mind and in body1 full of a lively calm1 and a bright power of observation4 ,indeed1 having made the nervous system his special life study1 he was1 perhaps1 less liable than most other human beings to be carried away by the fancies that many people tabulate as realities1 or to be governed by the beings that have no real existence and are merely projected by the action of the imagination4 ,half1 at least1 of his great success in life had been owing to his self-possession1 which never verged on hardness or fused itself with its near relation1 stolidity4 ,no man1 in fact1 was less likely to be upset by the creatures of his mind than he4 ,yet when ,wade had gently closed the drawing-room door and retreated into his private region1 the doctor allowed himself to become the possession of an influence which1 to the end of his life1 he believed to proceed from the empty room in which he sat1 not from his mind who sat there4 ,the electric light shone softly beneath the shades that shrouded it1 and revealed delicately but clearly every smallest detail of the crowded chamber4 ,the hour was quiet4 ,no fire danced in the grate4 ,doctor ,levillier leaned back in his low chair with the intention of composedly awaiting ,valentine's return4 ,but the composure which had already been slightly shaken by the visit of the lady of the feathers1 and by the words of ,wade1 was destined to be curiously upset by the motionless vision of the empty room4 ,sitting thus in it alone the doctor examined it with more detail1 and with a more definite remembrance of ,valentine's habit of mind than before4 ,and he found himself increasingly amazed and confounded4 ,for not only was the change great1 but it was not governed and directed by good taste1 or even by any definite taste1 either good or bad4 ,a number of people might have devised the arrangement and selection of the mass of furniture and ornaments1 and have thrown things down here and there in sheer defiance of each other's predilections4 ,only in the setting1 the red setting of the picture1 was there evidence of the presence of a presiding genius4 ,in that red setting the doctor supposed that he was to read ,valentine4 ,he could read nobody in the rest of the room1 or perhaps everybody whose taste refused purity and calm as foolish ,dead ,sea growths4 ,some of the silver ornaments might have assembled in the garish boudoir of a ,parisian fille de joie1 as the carved woman might have been the couch to which ,thais tempted ,paphnuce1 and the ,indian boys the lifeless slaves of ,aphrodite4 ,the jockeys on the wall would have been at home on the lid of a cigar box belonging to any average member of the jeunesse dore of any ,continental city1 while an etching of ,felicien ,rops that lounged upon a sidetable would have been eminently suitable to the house of a certain celebrity nicknamed the ,queen of ,diamonds4 ,the golden figures that sprawled over the huge cabinet must have delighted certain modern artists1 whose rickety fingers can only portray in line a fanciful corruption totally devoid of relation to humanity1 but such frail spectres would have shrunk with horror from certain robust works of art1 over which the most healthy of the beefy brigade might have smacked large lips for hours4 ,the room was in fact one quarrel between the masculine and feminine1 the corrupt modern and the flagrant ,philistine1 the vaguely suggestive ,nineteenth ,century ,athenian and the larky and unbridled schoolboy4 ,a neurotic woman seemed to have been at work here1 a sordid youth there4 ,on a sidetable the hysterical man of our civilization fought a duel in taste with some ,amazon whose kept vow had evidently wrought a cancer in her mind4 ,in every corner there was the clash of civil war4 ,yet there was always the cloudy red1 visible through the lattice-work of decoration1 as the blue sky is visible through the lattice-work of a ,tadema interior4 ,in that clouded red the doctor felt himself reading a new yet powerful ,valentine1 and in the grotesque orchids leaning their misshapen chins upon the rosy rim of their vase4 ,those flowers had evil faces1 and they seemed strangely at home in the silent room where no clock ticked and no caged bird twittered4 ,only the red cloud spoke like a dull voice1 and ,doctor ,levillier sat and listened to it1 until he felt as if he began to know a new ,valentine4 ,there is an influence that emanates from lifeless things1 strong1 subtle1 and penetrating2 an influence in form1 in colour1 in scent1 even in juxtaposition4 ,and such influence is like a voice speaking to the soul4 ,there was a voice in that empty room2 and the words it uttered stirred the doctor to a greater surprise1 a greater dread than the words of ,cuckoo4 ,her painted lips related that which might well be a legend of her fancy or of her hate4 ,this voice related a reality and no legend4 ,as the doctor sat there he conversed of many strange and evil matters1 of many discomforting affairs4 ,he was the interrogator1 the perpetual anxious questioner1 and the voice in the empty room gave vague and sinister answers4 ,that was a terrible catechism1 a catechism of the devil1 not of ,god4 ,question and answer flowed on1 and in the doctor's soul the anxiety and the distress ever deepened4 ,nor could he control their development1 although at moments his common sense broke into the catechism like a cool voice from without1 and sought to interrupt it finally4 ,but the twig could not stay the torrent4 ,and the darkness deepened1 darkness in which there was a vision of fire1 the vision of a man1 fantastic and menacing4 ,he was the genius of this room4 ,this room sang of him4 ,yes1 even now the twisted silver goblins1 the curved monstrosities on the cabinet1 the crouched ,indian boys1 the leering pictures1 and always the dull red cloud on wall and carpet1 cushion and hanging4 ,and then a strange deception overtook the doctor and shook his usually steady nerves4 ,the red cloud seemed to his observing eyes to tremble1 like a flame shaken in a breath of wind1 and to glow all around him4 ,he looked again1 endeavouring to laugh at his delusion4 ,but the glow deepened and there was surely distinct movement4 ,everywhere on walls1 floor1 hangings1 couches1 faint1 thin shadows took shape1 grew more definite4 ,he watched them and saw that they were tiny flames1 glowing red relieved against the red4 ,it was as if he sat in the midst of a ghostly furnace2 for these flames had no pleasant crackling voices4 ,silently they burned1 and fluttered upward noiselessly4 ,he saw them move this way and that4 ,some leaped up2 others bent sideways2 others wavered uncertainly1 as if their desire were incomplete and their intention undecided4 ,the doctor stared upon them1 and listened for the chorus that fires sing to tremble and to murmur from their lips4 ,yet they sang no chorus1 but always1 in a ghostly silence1 aspired around him4 ,he knew himself to be the victim of a delusion4 ,he knew what he would have said to a patient seeking his aid against such a deception of the senses4 ,in his common sense he knew this1 and yet he gradually lost the notion that he was being deceived1 and allowed himself to drift1 as he had seen others drift1 into the fancy that he was holding strange intercourse with the actual4 ,these flames were real4 ,they had forms4 ,they moved4 ,they enclosed him in a circle4 ,they embraced him4 ,as he watched them he fancied that they longed to be near to him1 and--and--yes--so ran his thoughts--to communicate something to him1 to sigh out their fiery hearts on his4 ,they trembled as if convulsed with emotion1 with desire4 ,they tried to escape from the sinister red background that held them in its grasp as in a leash4 ,the doctor was impelled ardently to believe that they yearned to find voices and to utter some word4 ,and then1 on a sudden1 he recalled ,julian's declaration on the night of ,valentine's trance1 that he had seen a flame shine from his friend's lips1 and fade away in the darkness4 ,he recalled1 too1 ,julian's question about death-beds4 ,was the soul of a man a flame8 ,and1 if so1 were these flames many souls1 or one soul reproduced on all sides by his excitement1 and by the intensity of his gaze after them8 ,they burned more clearly4 ,their forms were more defined4 ,then suddenly they grew vague1 blurred1 faint all around him4 ,they faded4 ,they died into the red of the room4 ,and once more the doctor sat alone4 ,he listened and heard the click of a key in the front door4 ,and then suddenly the horror that he had felt long ago1 on the night when he was followed in ,regent ,street1 once more possessed him4 ,he got on his feet to face it1 and1 as the drawing-room door was pushed slowly open1 faced ,valentine4 ,,chapter ,,iii ,,the ,,doctor ,,meets ,,two ,,strangers ,upon seeing the doctor1 ,valentine paused on the threshold of the door1 and1 as he paused1 the doctor's horror fled4 ,valentine1 he said1 holding out his hand4 ,doctor4 ,their hands met and their eyes4 ,and then ,levillier had an instant sensation that he shook hands with a stranger4 ,he looked upon the face of ,valentine certainly1 but he was aware of a subtle1 yet large1 change in it4 ,all the features were surely coarser1 heavier4 ,there was a line or two near the eyes1 a loose fullness about the mouth4 ,yet1 as he looked again1 he could not be certain if it were so1 or if his memory were at fault1 groping after a transformation that was not there4 ,the words he now said truthfully expressed his real feeling in the matter4 ,you are quite a stranger to me1 he said4 ,valentine accepted the remark in the conventional sense4 ,yes1 quite a stranger4 ,we have not met for an age4 ,the voice was cool and careless4 ,i have been waiting for you1 the doctor went on1 still unable to feel at his ease4 ,by the way1 how you have changed your room4 ,yes4 ,do you like it8 ,well1 frankly1 no4 ,i am sorry for that1 ,valentine replied1 drawing off his gloves4 ,julian chose a great many of the things in it4 ,julian6 ,did he devise the colour scheme8 ,that curious red8 ,no1 that was my idea4 ,but he had a great deal to do with the new furniture and the ornaments4 ,i should have supposed many minds had been at work here4 ,valentine smiled1 and the doctor was convinced that both his mouth and eyes had altered in expression4 ,that's true in a way1 he answered4 ,julian has had various advisers--of the feminine gender4 ,the love of the moment is visible all over this room4 ,that is why it amuses me4 ,those silver ornaments were chosen by a pretty ,circassian4 ,a ,parisian picked out that black cabinet in a warehouse of ,boulogne4 ,a little ,italian insisted upon that vulgar-painted sofa--and so on4 ,why do you allow such people to have any intercourse with a room of yours8 ,oh1 it amused ,julian1 and ,i was tired of my room as it was4 ,after ',the ,merciful ,knight' went to be cleaned1 ,i resolved on a change4 ,for the worse4 ,is it for the worse8 ,surely4 ,the eyes of the two men challenged each other4 ,valentine's glance was carelessly impudent and hardy4 ,the deference which he had always given to the doctor was gone4 ,if it had been genuine it was dead4 ,if it had only been a mask it had apparently served its purpose and was now contemptuously thrown aside4 ,doctor ,levillier was deeply moved by the transformation4 ,his friend had become a stranger during the interval of his absence4 ,the man he admired was less admirable than of old4 ,he recognized that1 although he was not yet fully aware of the transformation of ,valentine4 ,before he left ,england he vaguely suspected a change4 ,now the change hit him full in the heart4 ,so acute was it that1 in an age of miracles1 he could well have believed ,cuckoo ,bright's disjointed statement4 ,valentine was1 to his mind1 even in some strange way to his eye1 at this moment no longer ,valentine4 ,he was talking with a man whose features he knew certainly1 but whose mind he did not know1 had never known4 ,and his former resolution to watch ,valentine closely was consolidated4 ,it became a passion4 ,the doctor woke in the man4 ,nor was the old friend and lover of humanity lulled to sleep4 ,how is ,julian8 the doctor asked1 dropping his eyes4 ,very well1 ,i think4 ,he will be here directly4 ,he's coming to fetch me4 ,we are dining at the ,prince's in ,piccadilly in the same party4 ,that reminds me1 ,i must dress4 ,but do stay1 and have some coffee4 ,no coffee1 thank you4 ,but you will stay and see ,julian4 ,i dare say he will be here early4 ,yes1 ,i will stay4 ,i should like to meet him4 ,after a word or two more ,valentine vanished to dress1 and the doctor was once more alone4 ,he was much perplexed and saddened1 but keenly interested too1 and1 getting up from the chair in which he had been sitting1 he moved about the grotesque and vulgar room1 threading his way through the graceless furniture with a silent and gentle caution4 ,and as he walked meditatively he remembered a conversation he had held with ,valentine long ago1 when the latter had spoken complainingly of the tyranny of an instinctive purity4 ,the very words he had used came back to him now3 ,the minds of men are often very carefully1 very deftly poised1 and a little push can send them one way or the other4 ,remember if you lose heaven1 the space once filled by heaven will not be left empty4 ,had not the little push been given8 ,had not heaven been lost8 ,that was the problem4 ,but ,doctor ,levillier1 if he saw a little way into effect1 was quite at a loss as to cause4 ,and already he had a suspicion that the change in ,valentine was not quite on the lines of one of those strange and dreadful human changes familiar to any observant man4 ,this suspicion1 already latent1 and roused1 perhaps1 in the first instance long ago by the mystery of ,rip's avoidance of his master1 and by the shattering of ,valentine's musical powers1 was confirmed in the strongest way when ,julian appeared a few minutes later4 ,yet the change in ,julian would have seemed to most people far more remarkable4 ,he came into the drawing-room rather hastily1 in evening dress with a coat over it4 ,wade had forewarned him of the doctor's presence1 and he entered1 speaking loud words of welcome1 and holding out a greeting hand4 ,the too-ready voice and almost premature hand betokened his latent uneasiness4 ,vice makes some people unconscious1 some self-conscious4 ,julian belonged at present to the latter tribe4 ,whether he was thoroughly aware of self-alteration or not1 he evidently stirred uneasily under an expectation of the doctor's surprise4 ,this drove his voice to loud notes and his manner to a boisterous heartiness1 belied by the shifting glance of his brown eyes4 ,the doctor was astounded as he looked at him4 ,yet the change here was far less inexplicable than that other change in ,valentine4 ,its mystery was the familiar mystery of humanity4 ,its horror was the horror that we all accept as one of the elements of life4 ,deterioration1 however rapid1 however complete1 does not come upon us like a ghost in the night to puzzle us absolutely4 ,it is not altogether out of the range of our experience4 ,most men have seen a man crumble gradually1 through the action of some vice1 as a wall crumbles through the action of time1 falls into dust and decay1 filters away into the weed-choked ditches of utter ruin and degradation4 ,most women have watched some woman slip from the purity and hope and innocence of girlhood into the faded hunger and painted and wrinkled energies of animalism4 ,such tragedies are no more unfamiliar to us than are the tragedies of ,shakespeare4 ,and such a tragedy--not complete yet1 but at a third-act point1 perhaps--now faced ,doctor ,levillier in ,julian4 ,the wall that had been so straight and trim1 so finely built and carefully preserved1 was crumbling fast to decay4 ,a ragged youth slunk in the face1 beggared of virtue1 of true cheerfulness1 of all lofty aspiration and high intent4 ,it was youth still1 for nothing can entirely massacre that gift of the gods1 except inevitable ,time4 ,but it was youth sadder than age1 because it had run forward to meet the wearinesses that dog the steps of age but that should never be at home with age's enemy4 ,julian had been the leaping child of healthy energy4 ,he was now quite obviously the servant of lassitude4 ,his foot left the ground as if with a tired reluctance1 and his hands were fidgetty1 yet nerveless4 ,the eyes1 that looked at the doctor and looked away by swift turns1 burned with a haggard eagerness unutterably different from their former bright vivacity4 ,beneath them wrinkles crept on the puffy white face as worms about a corpse4 ,busy and tell-tale1 they did not try to conceal the story of the body into which they had prematurely cut themselves4 ,nor did ,julian's features choose to back up any reserve his mind might possibly feel about acknowledging the consummate alteration of his life4 ,they proclaimed1 as from a watch-tower1 the arrival of enemies4 ,the cheeks were no longer firm1 but heavy and flaccid4 ,the mouth was deformed by the down-drawn looseness of the sensualist1 and the complexion beaconed with an unnatural scarlet that was a story to be read by every street-boy4 ,yet1 even so1 the doctor1 as he looked pitifully and with a gnawing grief upon ,julian1 felt not the mysterious thrill communicated to him by ,valentine4 ,these two men1 these old time friends of his1 were both in a sense strangers4 ,but it was as if he had at least heard much of ,julian1 knew much of him1 understood him1 comprehended exactly why he was a stranger4 ,valentine was the total stranger1 the unknown1 the undivined4 ,long ago the doctor had foreseen the possibility of the ,julian who now stood before him4 ,he had never foreseen the possibility of the new ,valentine4 ,the one change was summed up in an instant4 ,the other walked in utter mystery4 ,the doctor had been swift to notice ,julian's furtive glance1 and was equally swift in banishing all trace of surprise from his own manner4 ,so they met with a fair show of cordiality1 and ,julian developed a little of his old cheerfulness4 ,val's dressing1 he said4 ,well1 there's plenty of time4 ,by the way1 how's your ,russian1 doctor8 ,better4 ,you've cured him6 ,bravo6 ,i hope ,i have persuaded him to cure himself4 ,julian looked up hastily4 ,oh1 that sort of complaint1 was it8 ,he laughed1 not without a tinge of bitterness4 ,perhaps he doesn't want to be cured4 ,i have persuaded him to want to be1 ,i think4 ,isn't that rather a priest's office8 ,julian asked4 ,the doctor noticed that a very faint hostility had crept into his manner4 ,why8 ,oh1 ,i don't know4 ,such an illness is a matter of temperament1 ,i dare say1 and the clergy tinker at our temperaments1 don't they8 while you doctors tinker at our bodies4 ,a nerve-doctor has as much to do with mind as body1 and no doctor can possibly do much good if he entirely ignores the mind4 ,but you know my theories4 ,yes4 ,they make you clergyman and doctor in one1 a dangerous man4 ,and he laughed again1 jarringly1 and shifted in his seat1 looking around him with quick eyes4 ,what do you think of the room8 he said abruptly4 ,i think it entirely spoilt and ruined1 the doctor answered gravely4 ,it's altered1 certainly4 ,yes1 for the worse4 ,it was a beautiful room1 one of the most beautiful in ,london4 ,a momentary change came over ,julian4 ,he dropped his hard manner1 which seemed an assumption to cover inward discomfort or shame4 ,yes1 he said almost regretfully4 ,i suppose it was4 ,but it's gayer now1 got more things in it4 ,full of memories this room is4 ,the last remark was evidently put forth as a feeler1 to find out what ,valentine had been talking about4 ,dr4 ,levillier was habitually truthful1 although he could be very reserved if occasion seemed to require it4 ,at present he preferred to be frank4 ,memories of women1 he remarked4 ,oh1 you've heard8 ,that several tastes helped to make his room the pandemonium which it is4 ,yes4 ,you're severe1 doctor4 ,perhaps you like the room for its memories1 ,addison4 ,julian looked doubtful4 ,i don't know4 ,i suppose so1 he hesitated4 ,by the way1 is there among these vagrant memories of ,circassians1 ,greeks1 and ,italians anything chosen by ,cuckoo ,bright8 ,julian started violently4 ,cuckoo ,bright1 he exclaimed1 what do you know of her8 ,as he spoke ,valentine strolled into the room dressed for dinner4 ,he was drawing on a pair of lavender gloves1 and looked down sideways at his coat to see if his buttonhole of three very pale and very perfectly matched pink roses was quite straight4 ,cuckoo ,bright8 he echoed4 ,does everybody know her1 then8 ,how came she into your strict life1 doctor8 ,doctor ,levillier noticed that ,valentine1 like ,julian1 carefully set him aside as a being in some different sphere1 much as a great many people insist on setting clergymen4 ,this fact alone showed that he was talking with two strangers1 and seemed to give the lie to long years of the most friendly and almost brotherly intercourse4 ,is my life so strict1 then8 he asked gently4 ,i think little ,cuckoo would call it so1 eh1 ,julian8 ,he glanced at ,julian and laughed softly1 still drawing on his gloves4 ,in evening dress he looked curiously young and handsome1 and facially less altered than the doctor had at first supposed him to be4 ,still there was a difference even in the face2 but it was so slight that only a keen observer would have noticed it4 ,the almost frigid and glacial purity had floated away from it like a lovely cloud4 ,now it was unveiled1 and there was something hard and staring about it4 ,the features were still beautiful1 but their ivory lustre was gone4 ,a line was penciled1 too1 here and there4 ,yet the doctor could understand that even ,valentine's own man might not appreciate the difference4 ,the manner1 however1 was more violently altered4 ,it was that which made the doctor think again and intensely of ,cuckoo's vague yet startling statement4 ,where did you meet ,cuckoo1 doctor8 ,it was ,julian who spoke1 and the words were uttered with some excitement4 ,i have met her1 ,levillier replied4 ,it was sufficiently evident that he did not intend to say where4 ,but ,valentine broke in3 ,she has called on you again1 then1 and this time found you at home4 ,i scarcely thought she would take the trouble4 ,again6 the doctor said4 ,yes4 ,one evening when you were away ,i saw her at your door and ventured to give her a piece of advice4 ,and that was8 ,not to trouble you4 ,i told her your patients were of a different class4 ,in that case ,i fear you misrepresented me1 ,cresswell4 ,i do not choose my patients4 ,but ,cuckoo ,bright is no patient of mine4 ,if she's not ill1 ,julian said1 why should she go to you8 ,that is her affair1 and mine1 the doctor answered1 in his quietest and most finishing tone4 ,julian accepted the delicate little snub quietly1 but ,valentine sneered4 ,perhaps she went to seek you in your capacity of a doctor of the mind rather than of the body4 ,perhaps1 after all1 she sought your aid4 ,as he spoke the doctor could not help having driven into him the conviction that the words were spoken with meaning1 that ,valentine knew the nature of ,cuckoo's mission to ,harley ,street4 ,there rose in him suddenly a violent sensation of enmity against ,valentine4 ,he strove to beat it down1 but he could not4 ,never had he felt such enmity against any man4 ,it was like the fury so obviously felt by ,cuckoo4 ,the doctor was ashamed to be so unreasonable1 and believed for a moment that the poor street-girl had absolutely swayed him1 and predisposed him to this animus that surged up over his normal charity and good1 clear impulses of tenderness for all that lived4 ,my aid1 he said--and the turmoil within him caused him to speak with unusual sternness4 ,and if she did1 what then8 ,poor ,cuckoo6 ,julian said1 and there was a touch of real tenderness in his voice4 ,oh1 ,i have nothing to say against it1 ,valentine replied1 buttoning slowly and carefully the last button of the second glove4 ,only1 ,cuckoo ,bright is beyond aid4 ,she can neither help herself nor any one else4 ,how do you know1 ,cresswell8 ,because ,i have observed1 doctor4 ,once ,i1 too1 thought that even ,cuckoo might--might--well1 have some fight in her4 ,i know now that she has not4 ,her corruption of body has led to worse than corruption of mind1 to corruption of will4 ,cuckoo ,bright is as helpless as is a seabird with a shot through its wings1 upon the sea4 ,she can only drift in the present--die in the future4 ,the doctor listened silently4 ,but ,julian said again3 ,poor1 poor ,cuckoo6 ,the exclamation seemed to irritate ,valentine1 for he caught up his cloak and cried3 ,bah6 ,let's forget her4 ,doctor1 we must say good-night4 ,we are due at the ,prince's4 ,it has been good to meet you again4 ,the last words sounded like the bitterest sarcasm4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,the ,,death ,,of ,,rip ,although ,dr4 ,levillier's visit to ,victoria ,street had been such a painful one1 he had no intention whatever of letting the two young men drift away out of his acquaintance4 ,he wanted especially to be with them in public places1 and to see for himself1 if possible1 whether ,cuckoo's accusation against ,valentine were true4 ,that a frightful change had taken place in ,julian's life1 and that he was rapidly sinking in a slough of wholly inordinate dissipation was clear enough4 ,but did ,valentine1 this new1 strange ,valentine1 lead him1 or merely go with him1 or stand aloof smiling at him and letting him take his own way like a foolish boy8 ,that question the doctor must decide for himself4 ,he could only decide it satisfactorily by ignoring ,valentine's impertinence to himself1 and endeavouring to resume his former relations of intimacy with these old friends who were strangers4 ,he began by asking them both to dinner4 ,rather to his surprise they accepted and came4 ,the mastiffs were shut close in their den below1 lest they should repeat their performance of the summer4 ,the dinner passed off with some apparent cheerfulness1 but it served to show the doctor the gulf that was now fixed between him and his former dear associates4 ,he was on one shore1 they on another4 ,their faces were altered as if by the desolate influence of distance4 ,even their voices sounded strange and far away4 ,great spaces had widened between their minds and his4 ,he endeavoured at first to cover those spaces1 to bridge that gulf2 but he soon came to learn the vanity of such an attempt4 ,he could not go to them1 nor would they return to him4 ,he could only pretend to bridge the gulf by the exercise of a suave diplomacy1 and by carefully banishing from his manner every trace of that dispraising elderliness which seems to the young the essence of prudery arising1 like an appalling ,phoenix1 from the ashes of past imprudence4 ,in this way he drew a little nearer to ,julian1 who obviously feared at first to suffer condemnation at his hands1 but1 finding only geniality1 lost his uneasiness and suffered himself to become more natural4 ,but this thawing of ,julian1 the quick response of humanity to the adroit treatment of it1 only threw into harsher relief the immobility of ,valentine1 and to him the doctor drew no nearer1 but seemed1 with each moment1 more distant1 more absolutely divided from him4 ,and the gulf between them was full of icebergs1 which filled the atmosphere with the breath of a deadly frost4 ,this was what the doctor felt4 ,what ,valentine1 the new ,valentine1 felt could not be ascertained4 ,he wore a brilliant mask1 on whose gay mouth the society smile was singularly well painted4 ,he wore a manner edged with tinkling bells of brilliancy4 ,happiness and ease beamed in his eyes4 ,yet his look1 his voice1 his smile1 his gaiety chilled the doctor and set him mentally shivering4 ,and with each bright saying and merry laugh he struck a blow upon the former friendship4 ,the doctor fancied he could actually hear the sound of the hammer at its work4 ,the simile of the hammer was peculiarly consonant with his present view of the new ,valentine1 for1 despite the latter's gaiety1 ease1 and self-possession1 his smiling sociability and expansiveness1 the doctor was perpetually conscious of a lurking violence1 an incessant and forcible exigence in him4 ,it might be a fancy1 but the doctor was not1 as a rule1 the prey of fancies4 ,yet ,valentine gave no outward hint of inward turmoil4 ,rather did the doctor divine it as by a curious intuition that guided him to that which lay in hiding4 ,and it was this apprehension of a deep violence and peculiar1 excessive animation in ,valentine that woke the doctor's deepest wonder1 and set the gulf between them so widely4 ,for all violence had once been so specially abhorred by ,valentine4 ,he had so loved and sought all calm4 ,the calm1 he had often said1 were the true aristocrats of life4 ,fury and any wild movements of the passions were of the gutter4 ,that dinner was returned4 ,the doctor dined with ,valentine and ,julian more than once1 and accompanied them to the theatre4 ,but he was unable to make certain of ,valentine's precise attitude towards ,julian1 although he saw easily that the influence of the one over the other had rather waxed than waned4 ,this being so1 it followed that ,julian1 having completely changed1 the influence that guided him must have completely changed also4 ,the pendulum had swung back4 ,that often happened in the record of men's lives4 ,but not in such a way as this4 ,the doctor1 like ,cuckoo1 recognized the existence of a mystery4 ,but he was by no means prepared to accept her fantastic and ignorantly vague explanation of it4 ,that was a wild fable1 a fairy tale for a child1 not a reasonable elucidation for a man and a doctor4 ,the most curious thing of all was that she declared that ,valentine had actually told her the truth about the matter1 knowing that she could not understand it4 ,the doctor resolved to see her later1 and to question her more minutely on this point4 ,meanwhile he began to watch ,valentine carefully1 and with the most sedulous attention to every detail and nuance of manner1 look1 and word4 ,he understood ,julian4 ,his sad case was to an extent due to his long happiness and freedom from the bondage in which so many men move wearily4 ,it was as if his passions had been dammed up by the original influence of ,valentine4 ,through the years1 behind the height of the dam1 the waters had been rising1 accumulating1 pressing4 ,suddenly the dam was removed1 and a devastating flood swept forth1 uncontrollable1 headlong1 and furious4 ,julian needed rescue1 but the only way to rescue seemed to lie through ,valentine1 within whose circle of influence he was so closely bound4 ,the mystery of ,valentine must be laid bare4 ,and so the doctor watched and wondered1 bringing all his knowledge of the world and of the minds and bodies of men to help him4 ,and meanwhile the lady of the feathers was seen nightly in ,piccadilly4 ,and ,julian went his way steadily downwards4 99 99 99 99 99 ,one night there was a flicker of snow over ,london1 and the air was chill with the breath of coming winter4 ,the dreary light of snow illumined the faces of all who walked in the streets1 painting the brightest cheeks with a murky grey pigment1 and making the sweetest eyes hollow and expressive of depression4 ,heavily the afternoon went by and the evening came sharply1 like a blow4 ,dr4 ,levillier was engaged to dine with ,julian and ,valentine at the former's rooms in ,mayfair4 ,of late ,valentine had seemed to seek him out1 and especially to enjoy seeing him in the company of ,julian4 ,and the doctor fancied he detected something of a triumph that was almost blatant in ,valentine's manner when they three were together1 and when the doctor's eyes rested sorrowfully upon that crumbling wall1 which had once been so fair and strong4 ,of late1 too1 the doctor1 ever watching for the signs of change in ,valentine1 had grown more and more aware that he was an utterly1 through and through1 different man from the youth men had called the ,saint of ,victoria ,street4 ,he felt the transformation to be inhuman1 and1 by slow and reluctant degrees1 he was beginning to form an opinion4 ,it was only in embryo as yet1 a shadow hesitating in the background of his mind4 ,he shrank from holding it4 ,he shuddered at its coming4 ,yet1 if it were right1 it might explain everything1 might make what was otherwise incredible clear and comprehensible4 ,was this vile change in his friend caused by a radical distortion of mind8 ,was ,valentine a madman8 ,lunacy turns temperaments upside down1 transforms the lamb into the tiger1 the saint into the murderer4 ,was ,valentine then mad8 and was the monstrous distortion of his brain playing upon the life of ,julian1 who1 like the rest of the world1 believed him sane8 ,the thought came to the doctor1 and once it had been born it was often near to him4 ,yet he would not encourage it unless he could rest it upon facts4 ,that a man should change was not a proof of his madness1 however unaccountable the change might seem4 ,the doctor watched ,valentine1 and was compelled to admit to himself that in every way ,valentine seemed perfectly sane4 ,his cynicism1 his love of ordinary life1 his toleration of common and wretched people1 might seem amazing to one who had known him well years ago1 but there were many perfectly sane men of the same habits and opinions1 of the same modes of speech and of action4 ,if the doctor's strange thought were to become a definite belief1 much more was needed1 something at least of proof1 something that would carry conviction not merely to the imagination1 but to the cool and searching intellect4 ,on this night of the first snow the doctor's thought moved a step forward towards conviction4 ,when he arrived at ,julian's rooms1 he was greeted by ,valentine alone4 ,our host has deserted us1 he said1 leading the doctor into the fire4 ,what1 is he ill8 ,he has not returned4 ,he went away last night--on a quest of a certain pleasure4 ,this afternoon he wired1 asking me to entertain you4 ,he was unavoidably detained1 but hoped to arrive in time for dessert4 ,his present love's arms are very strong4 ,they keep him4 ,oh6 the doctor said1 slipping out of his cloak2 we dine here then8 ,we do1 alone4 ,i don't think we've dined alone since ,julian and ,i came back from abroad1 and you deserted your ,russian4 ,no4 ,i will consider myself your guest4 ,it struck the doctor that here was an excellent opportunity for confirming or abandoning his dreary suspicion4 ,alone with ,valentine1 he would be able to lead the conversation in any direction he chose4 ,he was glad that ,julian had not returned1 and resolved to use this opportunity4 ,they went into the dining-room and sat down to dinner4 ,valentine was apparently rather amused at playing the host in another man's house4 ,it was novel1 and entertained him4 ,he was obviously in splendid spirits1 ate with good appetite and drank the champagne with an elation not unlike the elation of the dancing wine4 ,more than once1 too1 he alluded to ,julian's absence and probable occupation1 as if both the one and the other were bouquets in his cap1 or laurels in some crown which he alone could wear4 ,dr4 ,levillier noticed it and sought to draw him on in that direction1 and to lead him to some open acknowledgment of his share in ,julian's rapidly proceeding ruin4 ,but ,valentine changed the conversation into another channel without apparently observing his companion's intention1 or deliberately frustrating it4 ,he chattered of a thousand things1 mostly of topics that are the common converse of ,london dinner-tables4 ,the doctor joined in4 ,to a listening stranger the two men would have seemed old friends1 pleasantly at ease and secure with one another4 ,yet the doctor was doing detective duty all the time4 ,and ,valentine6 was he not secretly revelling in that destruction of a human soul that was galloping apace8 ,course succeeded course4 ,at last dessert was placed upon the table4 ,valentine raised his glass with a smile3 ,let us drink the health of ,julian's absence1 he said4 ,for you and ,i get on so perfectly together4 ,rather a cruel toast in ,julian's own rooms1 said the doctor4 ,ah1 but he's happy enough where he is4 ,you know where that is8 ,no--,i only suspect1 ,valentine cried gaily4 ,in the wilds of ,south ,kensington1 in a tiny house1 all ,morris tapestry and ,burne-,jones stained glass1 dwells the latest siren who has been calling to our ,ulysses4 ,he is there1 ,i suspect4 ,wait a moment1 though4 ,his telegram might tell us4 ,where was it sent from8 ,he sprang up1 went to the writing-table near the window1 and caught up the crumpled thin paper that he had flung down there4 ,smoothing it out1 he read1 holding the paper close to a wax candle3 ,handed in at the ,marylebone ,road office at #e3ej4 ,his brow clouded4 ,marylebone ,road1 he repeated1 looking at the doctor4 ,why should he be there8 ,his words immediately set the doctor on the track4 ,does not ,cuckoo ,bright live there8 he said4 ,yes1 she does4 ,may he not be with her8 ,valentine had dropped the telegram4 ,he was standing at the table1 and he pressed his two fists1 clenched1 upon the white cloth4 ,i have told him he must give ,cuckoo up1 he said1 almost in a snarl4 ,the doctor glanced at him quickly4 ,you have told him8 ,advised him1 ,i mean4 ,you dislike her8 ,i6 ,no4 ,how can one dislike a painted rag8 ,how can one dislike a pink and white shell that holds nothing8 ,every body holds a soul4 ,every human shell holds its murmur of the great sea4 ,the body of ,cuckoo then contains a soul that's cankered with disease1 moth-eaten with corruption1 worn away to an atom not bigger than a grain of dust4 ,i would not call it a soul at all4 ,he spoke with more than a shade of excitement1 and the gay expression of his face had changed to an uneasy anger4 ,the doctor observed it1 and rejoined quietly3 ,how can you answer for another person's soul8 ,we see the body1 it is true4 ,but are we to divine the soul from that--wholly and solely8 ,the soul6 ,let us call it the will4 ,why8 ,the will of man is the soul of man4 ,it is possible to judge the will by the body4 ,the will of such a woman as ,cuckoo ,bright is a negative quantity4 ,her body is the word 'weakness1' written in flesh and blood for all to read4 ,ah1 you speak of her will for herself1 the doctor said1 thinking of ,cuckoo's broken wail to him1 as she sat on that autumn evening in his consulting-room4 ,but what of her will for another1 her soul for another8 ,he had spoken partly at random1 partly led by the thought1 the suspicion1 that ,cuckoo's abandoned body held a fine love for ,julian4 ,he was by no means prepared for the striking effect his remark had upon ,valentine4 ,no sooner were the words spoken than a strong expression of fear was visible in ,valentine's face1 of terror so keen that it killed the anger which had preceded it4 ,he trembled as he stood1 till the table shook2 and apparently noticing this1 and wishing to conceal so extreme an exhibition of emotion1 he slid hastily into a seat4 ,her will for another1 he repeated1--for another4 ,what do you mean by that8 where's the other1 then8 who is it8 ,the doctor looked upon him keenly4 ,anybody for whom she has any desire1 any solicitude1 or any love--you1 myself1 or--,julian4 ,julian6 ,valentine repeated unsteadily4 ,julian6 you mean to say you-- ,he pulled himself together abruptly4 ,doctor1 he said1 forgive me for saying that you are scarcely talking sense when you assume that such a creature as ,cuckoo ,bright can really love anybody4 ,and even if she did1 ,julian's the last man--oh1 but the whole thing is absurd4 ,why should you and ,i talk about a street-girl1 a drab whose life begins and ends in the gutter8 ,julian will be here directly4 ,meanwhile let us have coffee4 ,he pushed his cigarette-case over to the doctor and touched the bell4 ,coffee6 he said1 when ,julian's man answered it4 ,the door stood open1 and as the man murmured1 ,yes1 sir1 a dog close by howled shrilly4 ,the noise diverted ,valentine's attention and roused him from the agitation into which he had fallen4 ,he glanced at the doctor4 ,rip1 he said4 ,howling for his master1 said the doctor4 ,wait a moment1 ,valentine said to the man1 who was preparing to leave the room4 ,then1 to the doctor3 ,i am his master4 ,to be sure1 rejoined the doctor1 who had1 in truth1 for the moment forgotten the fact1 so long a time had elapsed since the little dog took up his residence with ,julian4 ,you think he's howling for me8 ,valentine said4 ,i was thinking of ,julian at the moment4 ,and what do you say now8 ,still that he is howling for his master8 ,the dog's voice was heard again4 ,it sounded almost like a shriek of fear4 ,no1 the doctor replied1 wondering what intention was growing in ,valentine's face4 ,oh6 ,valentine said curtly4 ,he turned to the man4 ,bateman1 bring ,rip in here to us4 ,the man hesitated4 ,i don't think he'll come1 sir4 ,i said1 bring him to us4 ,the man went out1 as if with reluctance4 ,valentine turned to the doctor4 ,we spoke about soul--that is1 will--just now1 he said4 ,to deny the will is death1 despite ,schopenhauer4 ,death8 ,worse than death--cowardice4 ,to assert the will is life and victory4 ,with each assertion a man steps nearer to a god4 ,with each conquest of another will a man mounts1 and if any man wants to enjoy an eternity he must create it for himself by feeding his will or soul with conquest till it is so strong that it cannot die4 ,his eyes shone with excitement4 ,it seemed to the doctor that he was caught in the whirlpool of a violent reaction4 ,he had shown fear1 weakness2 he was aware of it1 and determined to reassert himself4 ,the doctor answered nothing1 neither agreeing with his fantastic philosophy nor striving to controvert it4 ,and at this moment there was the sound of a struggle and of whining outside4 ,the door was pushed open1 and ,julian's man appeared1 hauling ,rip along by the collar4 ,the little dog was hanging back1 with all its force1 and striving to get away4 ,having succeeded in getting it into the room1 the man quickly retreated1 shutting the door hastily behind him4 ,the little dog was left with ,valentine and the doctor4 ,it remained shrinking up against the door in a posture that denoted abject fear1 its pretty head turned in the direction of ,valentine1 its eyes glaring1 its teeth snapping at the air4 ,the doctor looked at it and at ,valentine4 ,his pity for the dog's condition was held in check by a strange fascination of curiosity4 ,he leaned his arms on the table and his eyes were fixed on ,valentine1 who got up slowly from his chair4 ,i have let ,rip be the prey of his absurd fancies long enough1 doctor1 he said4 ,to-night ,i will make him like me as he used to1 or at least come to me4 ,and he whistled to the dog and called ,rip1 standing by the table4 ,rip howled and trembled in reply1 and snapped more fiercely in the direction of ,valentine4 ,do you see that1 doctor8 ,but he shall come4 ,i will make him4 ,he shut his lips firmly and stared upon the animal4 ,it was very evident that he was exerting himself strongly in some way4 ,indeed1 he looked like a man performing some tremendous physical feat4 ,yet all his limbs were still4 ,the violence of his mind created the illusion4 ,rip wavered against the door4 ,there was foam on his jaws and his white legs trembled4 ,valentine snapped his fingers as one summoning or coaxing a dog4 ,the doctor started at the sound and leaned further forward along the table to see the upshot of this strange fight between a man's desire and an animal's fear4 ,rip scarcely whined now1 but turning his head rapidly from one side to the other1 with a motion that seemed to become merely mechanical1 he made a hoarse noise that was like a terrified and distressed growl half strangled in his throat4 ,but though he wavered against the door1 he did not obey ,valentine and go to him1 and the doctor was conscious of a sudden thrill of joy in the dog's obstinacy4 ,this obstinacy angered ,valentine greatly4 ,his face clouded4 ,he bent forward4 ,he put out his hands as if to seize ,rip4 ,the dog snapped at him frantically1 wildly4 ,but ,valentine did not recoil4 ,on the contrary1 he advanced1 bending down over the wretched little creature4 ,then ,rip shrank down on all fours before the door4 ,to the doctor's watching eyes he seemed to wane visibly smaller4 ,he dropped his head4 ,valentine bent lower4 ,rip lay right down1 pressing himself upon the floor4 ,as ,valentine's hand touched him a quiver ran over him1 succeeded by a surprising stillness4 ,the doctor made a slight sound4 ,he knew that ,rip was dead4 ,valentine took the little dog by the scruff of its neck and lifted it up4 ,then he1 too1 saw what he held4 ,he glanced at the doctor1 and there was a glare of defeat in his eyes4 ,then he passed across the room to the window1 still holding the dog1 pulled aside the curtain and thrust up the window4 ,the ground was white and the snow was falling4 ,with an angry gesture he flung the body out4 ,it dropped with a soft noise in the snow and lay there4 ,valentine closed the window1 but the doctor felt as if he still saw the poor little corpse in the snow4 ,and he shuddered4 ,a moment afterwards there was a step in the passage and ,julian entered4 ,he was looking haggard and excited1 and ill with dissipation4 ,his eyes shone in deep hollows that seemed to have been painted with indigo1 and his lips were parched and feverish4 ,where have you been1 ,julian8 said ,valentine4 ,oh1 with her--with ,molly1 of course1 he replied4 ,what8 ,till now8 ,julian seemed uneasy under his scrutiny4 ,till this morning1 he replied1 almost suddenly4 ,well1 but since then8 ,with ,cuckoo4 ,oh6 don't bother me4 ,he went over towards the window4 ,oh1 how hot it is here1 he said4 ,he glanced at the bright fire4 ,intolerably6 he murmured4 ,and he opened the window to the drifting snow4 ,am ,i mad8 he suddenly cried to them4 ,i saw the flame in her eyes again to-day1 in ,cuckoo's eyes4 ,it held me with her4 ,i'll swear it held me4 ,it wouldn't let me go--wouldn't let me--till now6 ,he sank down in a chair by the window1 and turning his back on them1 pushed his head out to get air4 ,i say1 he suddenly called4 ,what's that1 that lying there8 ,valentine and the doctor joined him4 ,he was pointing to the body of ,rip1 which was already almost covered by the snow4 ,that1 ,valentine said2 that is-- ,the body of a creature that died fighting1 the doctor interrupted4 ,a fine fashion of dying4 ,look at it1 ,julian4 ,its soul was indomitable to the last1 and so it won the battle it fought4 ,it won by its very death even4 ,nature is at work on its winding-sheet4 ,valentine said nothing4 ,,chapter ,v ,,doctor ,,levillier ,,visits ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,julian's utterance about the flame that held him with the lady of the feathers struck ,dr4 ,levillier forcibly at the time it was made1 and remained in his mind4 ,he could not fail to connect it with his own experience in ,valentine's empty room1 and1 going further back1 with the last sitting of the two young men which was succeeded by the long trance of ,valentine4 ,and as he thought of these things1 it suddenly occurred to him that the ghastly change which had taken place in ,valentine might well date from that night4 ,since the death of ,rip the doctor had formed the opinion that ,valentine was no longer perfectly sane4 ,his excitement1 the fury of his eyes when he spoke of the triumphs of will1 seemed to give the clue to his transformation4 ,the insane perpetually glorify themselves1 and are transcendent egoists4 ,surely the egoism of insanity had peeped out in ,valentine's diatribe upon the eternity of a strong man's individual will4 ,the night of the trance had been a strange crisis of his life4 ,he had seemed to recover from it1 to come back from that wonderful simulation of death healthy1 calm1 reasonable as before4 ,this might have been only seeming4 ,in that sleep the sane and beautiful ,valentine might have died1 the insane and unbeautiful ,valentine have been born4 ,there are many instances of a sudden and acute shock to the nervous system leaving an indelible and dreary writing upon the nature4 ,if ,valentine had thus been tossed to madness1 it was very possible that his dog1 an instinctive creature1 should recognize the change with terror4 ,it was even possible that other instinctive creatures should divine the hideous mind of a maniac hidden in the beautiful body of an apparently normal man4 ,and ,cuckoo1 she too was instinctive1 a girl without education1 culture1 the reading that opens the mind and sometimes shuts the eyes4 ,cuckoo ,bright1 she had divined the evil of ,valentine4 ,to her he had made confession4 ,in her eyes ,julian had seen the mysterious flame4 ,some influence from her had kept him from his invited guests and from his house4 ,yes1 ,cuckoo1 the lady of the feathers1 the blessed damozel of ,regent ,street and ,piccadilly ,circus1 the painted and possessed1 faded and degraded1 wanderer of the pavements1 seemed to become the centre of this wheel of circumstances1 as ,doctor ,levillier reflected upon her4 ,it was time for him to go to ,cuckoo4 ,julian's descent must be stayed1 before he went down1 like a new ,orpheus without a mission1 into ,hades4 ,valentine's influence1 whether mad or sane1 must be fought4 ,it was to be a struggle1 a battle of wills1 of what ,valentine chose to consider souls4 ,and some prompting led the doctor to think of ,cuckoo as a possible weapon4 ,why8 ,because she had even once held ,julian against his will1 against the intention of his soul4 ,so the doctor at length sought the lady of the feathers4 ,she had been passing through a period of great and benumbing desolation1 believing that her last appeal1 her great effort for ,julian1 had been a failure4 ,for the doctor had not come to her1 and ,cuckoo could not tell that he was making observations for himself and that she was often in his mind4 ,she supposed that he1 like all others1 laughed at her pretensions to gravity1 swept her exhibition of real and honest emotion away from his memory with a sneer1 considered her despair over another's ruin a vile travesty1 a grinning absurdity and trick4 ,never had ,cuckoo felt more lonely than in these days1 though a vast loneliness is the constant companion of her large sisterhood4 ,even ,jessie failed to comfort her1 and she could find little courage within herself4 ,and yet there were moments when the vigour that had led her once to defy ,valentine1 when the fire that had sprung up in her1 as a flame may burst forth in a swamp1 seemed to be near to her again4 ,she felt a new possibility within her1 stirring1 striving4 ,it was at such moments that she longed to see the doctor1 and could have cursed him for not coming to her4 ,for at such moments she seemed only waiting for a touch of sympathy1 a word of encouragement1 to perform some great action1 some momentous deed4 ,but the touch1 the word1 were lacking1 and her life and experience of constant and monotonous degradation dulled the impulse1 stifled the enthusiasm that she could not understand4 ,and she fell again to brooding1 and to an ignorant and vague consciousness of impotence4 ,she bought a new hair-dye1 painted her thin cheeks more heavily than ever before1 and sought1 almost with a wild exultation that swiftly fled away1 to sink lower4 ,the monotony of sin is one of the scourges of sin4 ,in those days ,cuckoo suffered many stripes4 ,her eyes grew more weary1 her smile in ,piccadilly more mechanical1 her walk more puppet-like than ever4 ,life was like a moving dream of horror4 ,and yet no day passed without a gleam of that strange sensation of ignorant power1 fluttering upward1 fading away1 pausing1 passing1 dead4 ,she did not know what it meant4 ,she could not keep it nor use it4 ,she could not unravel its message nor rest upon its strength4 ,it was gone almost while it came1 but it did something for the lady of the feathers4 ,it gave to her the little seed of expectation that1 quite alone in a weary desert1 yet makes of that desert the plot men call a garden4 ,like a thread of steel1 it held up this girl from the uttermost abyss1 until at last the doctor's hand struck upon her door4 ,julian's occasional visits were as the scourgings of ,god1 giving to ,cuckoo a vision of shifting ruin1 in which she--so she told herself1 thinking of the dance of the hours--had been the first to have a share4 ,it was a wintry afternoon when the doctor came4 ,frost clung stealthily round the grimy black trees1 outlining their naked boughs with meagre lines of white sewn with smuts4 ,above the frost hung the fog as if in charge of the town1 a despondent and gloomy sentinel4 ,during the morning the sun had lain in the fog like a faint blood-red jewel in a thick and awkward sulphur setting1 but with the afternoon the jewel faded to a distant dim phantom1 from that to blank nothingness4 ,as if satisfied with this piteous exit1 the fog drew closer1 keeping especially heavy watch upon the long and bleak line of the ,marylebone ,road1 and taking the high and narrow house in which ,cuckoo dwelt under its severest protection4 ,twilight wanted to come as the afternoon drew on1 but it had been forestalled and was practically already there4 ,doubtless it did come1 but no one was much the wiser4 ,the lamps had been alight all day1 and no procession of gloomy things1 advancing from whithersoever1 could have added much to the volume of the crowding darkness1 or have appreciably increased its density4 ,in the darkness the cold gathered1 and the frost began to take a harder grip of everything1--of desolate1 solitary pumps in tiny and squalid back yards1 of pipes that crawled like liver-coloured snakes over the unpresentable sides of houses1 of pools thick with orange-brown mud1 and vagrant bushes creaking above the grimy earth in places that children named gardens4 ,fog and frost had taken a strong grip1 too1 upon the heart of the lady of the feathers4 ,somewhere about eleven o'clock in the morning she had stirred wearily in her bed1 had stretched out her arms to the stagnant air of the room1 and crouched up on her pillow in a grotesque hump4 ,for a while the hump remained motionless4 ,then ,cuckoo rolled round and extended a bare thin leg to test the atmosphere4 ,the leg was quickly withdrawn1 the atmosphere having been evidently tried in the balance and found wanting4 ,cuckoo's bell rang1 and ,mrs4 ,brigg was called for tea and toast1 while once more the hump decorated the upper part of the disordered bed4 ,jessie1 awakened in her basket at the foot of the bed1 joined the hump1 whining a greeting1 and wriggling furiously in an effort to tunnel her way to the ultimate depths of sheets and blankets4 ,then ,mrs4 ,brigg1 of yellowish and bleak aspect1 beneath a tumbled appurtenance that she called a cap1 appeared with a tray4 ,going to stop abed8 she asked1 in a husky voice1 in which the smuts seemed floating4 ,yes4 ,what's there to get up for8 ,cuckoo groaned4 ,nothun' as ,i know of4 ,and ,mrs4 ,brigg was gone about her business4 ,all the morning ,cuckoo lay staring at the blank square of the window1 and ,jessie snored under the blankets4 ,the tea was drunk1 the toast lay about in fragments4 ,one bit1 hard and many cornered as it seemed1 somehow gained entrance to the bed1 and greeted ,cuckoo's every movement with uncompromising grittiness4 ,no shaking of coverlet and sheet1 no beating of pillow1 no kicks and scufflings could expel it4 ,the bed seemed full of hard bits of toast1 and ,cuckoo felt as if an additional burden were laid upon her by this slight evil4 ,but1 indeed1 the horror of her existence reached a culminating point to-day1--a point of loneliness1 vacant dreariness1 squalor1 and degradation that could not be surpassed4 ,the preceding night had been peculiarly horrible1 and as ,cuckoo now lay on the tumbled bed1 in the dim1 cold room1 with the fog gazing in1 the leaden hours of winter crawling by1 she felt as if she could bear no more4 ,she could bear no more addition to her sick weariness2 no more addition to her useless hunger of love for ,julian1 that could never be crowned with anything but despair2 no more addition to her bodily fatigue1 born of tramping monotony succeeded by yet more enervating weariness of the flesh4 ,she could bear no more4 ,yes1 but she must bear more4 ,for ,cuckoo knew that she was not dying1 was not even ill4 ,she was only tired in body1 prostrate in heart1 deserted in life1 and forced to witness the quick and running ruin of the man she had the farcical absurdity to love4 ,imaginative1 for once1 in her morbid fatigue1 she began to wish that she could fade away and become part of the fog that lay about ,london1 be drawn into its murkiness1 with all her murky recollections1 her fiendish knowledge1 her mechanical wiles of the streets1 her thin and ghostly despairs and desires4 ,for they seemed thin and ghostly1 they too1 to-day1 fit food for the fog1 as indeed the whole of her was4 ,how could such as she evaporate into sweet air1 a clear heaven8 ,she caught at the hand-glass1 leaning far out on the bed1 as the blessed damozel o'er the bright bar of heaven1 and tried to see1 with staring eyes1 how the new hair-dye that she was now using became her4 ,her mind was vagrant1 coming and going miserably1 from that love of hers which was strangely strong and subtle1 to the powder-box with its arsenic-green lid1 or the rouge-pot of dirty white china4 ,and by each event it paused and sank1 as if benumbed by the increasing frost4 ,leaning again to put back the hand-glass she fell over too far and dropped it4 ,the glass fell face downwards and was smashed4 ,cuckoo laughed aloud1 revelling feebly in the additional misery a superstitious mind now began to promise her4 ,the fragments of broken glass actually pleased her1 and1 on a sudden1 she resolved to set her feet in them1 that she might be cut and wounded1 that she might bleed outwardly as she had been bleeding inwardly for so long4 ,she swung her legs over the breadth of the bed1 disorganizing ,jessie1 planted her feet in the array of glass and stood up4 ,as she did so the doctor mounted her doorstep1 plied the knocker and rang the bell4 ,cuckoo stood listening4 ,a fragment of glass had really penetrated the bare sole of her foot1 which bled a little gently on the carpet4 ,but she scarcely knew it4 ,she heard ,mrs4 ,brigg go by1 and then steps sounding in the passage4 ,then there came to her ears a quiet voice with a very characteristic note of bright calmness in it4 ,standing in her frilled nightdress among the bits of glass1 ,cuckoo flushed scarlet all over her face and neck4 ,she knew who the visitor was4 ,with one dart she reached the washhand-stand4 ,sponges1 brushes1 combs1 all her weapons of the toilet1 were immediately in commotion1 and when ,mrs4 ,brigg opened her door1 the room was a whirlpool of quick activities1 in the midst of which1 as on a frouzy throne1 ,jessie stood upon the bed barking excitedly4 ,mrs4 ,brigg came in and closed the door4 ,her thin lips were pursed4 ,light the fire6 ,cuckoo called at her from the basin4 ,what do you want the doctor for8 ,mrs4 ,brigg uttered the words with some suspicion4 ,hurry up and light the fire6 ,cuckoo turned round1 her hands darting in her hair1 and actually laughed with a touch of merriment4 ,you old owl6 ,he's not come to doctor me1 only to see me4 ,mrs4 ,brigg looked relieved1 but still surprised4 ,oh1 she said4 ,that's it1 is it8 ,she paused as if in consideration4 ,suddenly ,cuckoo sprang on her1 twisted her round1 and spun her out into the cold passage4 ,light the fire1 ,i tell you6 ,she banged the bedroom door and went on with her rapid toilet4 ,when she came into the sitting-room an uneasy fire was sputtering in the grate1 one gas-jet flared1 and ,doctor ,levillier was standing by the window looking out at the fog4 ,he turned to greet her4 ,i thought you'd forgotten--or didn't mean to come1 ,cuckoo said2 they often do--people that say they will to me1 ,i mean4 ,the doctor held out his hand with a smile4 ,no4 ,am ,i interrupting you8 ,me6 said ,cuckoo1 in amazement1 thinking of her empty days4 ,lord1 no4 ,her accent was convincing4 ,the little doctor sat down by the fire and put his hat and gloves on the table4 ,mrs4 ,brigg thought ,i was ill--you bein' a doctor1 ,cuckoo said1 with an attempt at a laugh4 ,she felt nervous now1 and was not sustained today by the strung-up enthusiasm which had supported her in ,harley ,street4 ,funny there bein' a fog again this time1 ain't it8 ,yes4 ,i hope we shall meet some day in clear weather4 ,as the doctor said that1 following a tender thought of the girl1 he glanced round the room and at ,cuckoo4 ,i hope so1 he repeated4 ,then1 rather abruptly3 ,two or three nights ago ,i went to dine with ,mr4 ,addison4 ,he was out4 ,he was here with you4 ,cuckoo got red4 ,she could still be very sensitive with a few people1 and perhaps ,mrs4 ,brigg and her kind had trained her into irritable suspicion of suspicion in others4 ,only for a friendly visit1 she said hastily4 ,nothin' else4 ,he would stop4 ,i understand perfectly1 the doctor said gently4 ,cuckoo was reassured4 ,did he say as he'd been8 ,yes4 ,cuckoo looked at the doctor and a world of reproach dawned in her eyes4 ,i say1 she said1 you haven't done nothin'4 ,he's worse than ever4 ,he's gettin'--oh1 he's gettin' cruel bad4 ,tears came up over the world of reproach4 ,it's all him1 all ,valentine1 she said4 ,and ,doctor ,levillier was moved to cast reticence1 the usual loyalty of one man to another who has been his friend1 away4 ,somehow the dead body of ,rip lying in the snow put that old friendship far off4 ,and also an inward thrill caught him near to ,cuckoo4 ,an impulse1 swift and vital1 thrust his mind to hers4 ,you are right1 he answered4 ,i believe that it is all ,valentine4 ,there6 ,didn't ,i tell you8 ,cuckoo cried with eyes of triumph4 ,it's been him from the first4 ,oh1 get him--get ,julian away4 ,the doctor laid his hand upon ,cuckoo's1 which was stretched upon the tablecloth1 very gently1 almost abstractedly4 ,will you tell me something8 he said4 ,what's it8 ,you love ,julian8 ,me6 the lady of the feathers said4 ,her voice trembled over the word4 ,she stole a hasty1 hunted glance at the doctor4 ,was he1 too1 going to jeer at her8 ,would no one allow her to have a clean corner in her heart8 ,you're laughin' at me4 ,what's the good of such as me doin' a thing like that--lovin' a man8 ,i think you must love ,julian4 ,if you do1 perhaps you are meant to protect and save him4 ,a secret voice prompted the doctor with the words he spoke1 gave them to him1 bent him irresistibly to repeat them4 ,never before had he felt what it is to be between the strong hands of destiny4 ,me6 ,me save any one6 ,cuckoo said1 trembling4 ,yes1 you4 ,there is something in you--,i feel it and ,i can't tell you why1 nor what it is--something that has hold of ,julian4 ,he told us so the other night4 ,don't you know what it is8 ,eh8 ,perhaps he feels that you love him--purely1 cleanly4 ,i do--oh6 ,i do that6 ,cuckoo cried4 ,a wonder as to the relations between ,julian and this girl shot through the doctor4 ,he was the last man in the world to think evil of any one1 but just then1 as ,cuckoo moved1 the gaslight struck fully on her4 ,the dye on her hair shone crudely4 ,the red and white of her face burned as on the face of a clown4 ,and then even the doctor's good heart wondered4 ,cuckoo knew it in an instant1 and her face hardened and looked older4 ,oh1 go on1 she said rudely4 ,think as the others do4 ,damn you men6 ,damn you6 ,damn you6 ,and without warning she put her head down on the table and broke into a wild passion of tears4 ,she sobbed1 and as she sobbed she cursed and clenched her hands4 ,she lost herself in fury and in despair4 ,the ,fates had stung her too hard this time1 and she must blaspheme against them with her voice of the streets1 her language of the streets1 her poor heart--not quite of the streets4 ,the ,fates had stung her too hard1 for they had put a flaw even in this one self-respect of hers4 ,that one night accused her whenever she thought of ,julian1 whenever she saw the dissipation deepen round his eyes4 ,she was not to have even one thing that she could be quite proud of2 not one thing of which she could say1 ,this has been always pure4 ,and then she turned on the doctor and cried3 ,go on--think it--think it6 ,think what you like6 ,but ,i'll tell you the truth4 ,there was only once ,i did him any harm1 and that wasn't my fault4 ,i never wanted to4 ,i hated it4 ,i told him ,i hated it4 ,i didn't want him to be that1 like the others4 ,and that was ,valentine1 too4 ,and now--just because of that ,i'm no use4 ,and you'd said ,i might be1 you'd said ,i might be4 ,and ,i say you shall be4 ,the wail died in ,cuckoo's throat4 ,the tears were arrested as by a spell4 ,dr4 ,levillier had got upon his feet4 ,all the truth and tenderness of his heart was roused and quickened4 ,he knew real passion1 real grief1 and from that moment he knew and trusted the lady of the feathers4 ,and by the strength of her bitterness1 even by the broken curses that would have shocked so many of the elect of this world1 he measured the width and the depth of her possibilities4 ,she had sent to damnation--what8 ,the vile cruelty1 the loathsome1 unspeakable1 dastardly mercilessness of the world4 ,to damnation with it6 ,that was the loud echo in his man's heart4 ,that one night is nothing1 he said4 ,or rather it is something that you must redeem4 ,it is good to have to pay for a thing4 ,it is that makes one work4 ,there is a work for you to do1 a work which ,i believe no one else can do4 ,you love ,julian4 ,love him more4 ,make him love you4 ,my will cannot fight the will of ,valentine over him4 ,no man's will can4 ,a woman's may4 ,yours may1 shall4 ,his pale1 small1 delicate face flamed with excitement as he spoke4 ,few of his patients looking upon him just then would have known their calm little doctor4 ,but ,cuckoo had cried to him out of the very depths1 and out of the very depths he answered her1 still prompted--though now he knew it not--by that secret voice which sometimes rules a man1 at which he wonders ignorantly1 the voice of some soul1 some great influence1 hidden from him in the spaces of the air1 the voice of a flame1 warm1 keen1 alive1 and power-prompting4 ,and ,cuckoo1 as she listened to the doctor1 had once again a hint of her own strength1 a thrill of hope1 a sense that she1 even she1 was not broken quite in pieces upon the cruel wheel of the world4 ,whatever can ,i do8 she said2 ,valentine's got him4 ,as she spoke1 the doctor1 restless1 as men are in excitement1 had moved over to the mantelpiece1 and stood with one foot upon the edge of the fender4 ,thinking deeply1 he glanced over the photographs of ,cuckoo's acquaintance1 without actually seeing them4 ,but presently one1 at which he had looked long and fixedly1 dawned upon him1 cruelly1 powerfully4 ,it was the face of ,marr4 ,who is that8 he said abruptly to ,cuckoo4 ,that8 ,she too got up and came near to him1 lowering her voice almost to a whisper4 ,that's really him4 ,him8 ,valentine4 ,the doctor looked at her in blank astonishment4 ,yes1 it is1 ,cuckoo reiterated1 and nodding her head with the obstinacy of a child4 ,that--,valentine6 ,it has no resemblance to him4 ,the doctor took up the photograph1 and examined it closely4 ,this is not ,valentine4 ,he told me it was4 ,it's ,marr--and somehow it's him now4 ,marr1 said the doctor1 sharply4 ,why1 he is dead4 ,julian told me so4 ,he died--he died in the ,euston ,road on the night of ,valentine's trance4 ,ah1 but you know nothing about that4 ,did you know ,marr1 then8 ,yes1 ,i knew him4 ,cuckoo hesitated4 ,but something taught her to be perfectly frank with the doctor4 ,so she added3 ,i'd been with him at that hotel the night he died4 ,you were the woman6 ,but1 then1 how can you say that this 7he touched the photograph with his finger7 is ,valentine8 ,he says he's really ,marr4 ,cuckoo spoke in the most mulish manner1 following her habit when she was completely puzzled1 but sticking to what she believed to be the truth4 ,marr and ,valentine one man6 ,he told you that8 ,he says to me--',i'm ,marr4' ,cuckoo repeated the words steadily1 but like a parrot4 ,the doctor said nothing1 only looked at her and at the photograph4 ,he was thinking now of his suspicion as to ,valentine's sanity4 ,had he1 perhaps in his madness1 been playing on the ignorance of the lady of the feathers8 ,she went on3 ,it was on the night he told me all that4 ,i couldn't understand what he is and what he's doing4 ,and he said that the real ,valentine had gone4 ,and then he said--',i am ,marr4' ,the real ,valentine gone4 ,yes1 said the doctor1 gravely1 that is true4 ,does he then know that he is--8 ,mad was on his lips1 but he checked himself4 ,what else did he say that night8 he asked4 ,can you remember8 ,if you succeed1 you may help ,julian4 ,cuckoo frowned till her long1 broad eyebrows nearly met4 ,the grimace gave her the aspect of a sinister boy1 bold and audacious4 ,for she protruded her under lip1 too1 and the graces of ardent feeling1 of pain and of passion1 died out of her eyes4 ,but this abrupt and hard mask was only caused by the effort she was making after thought1 after understanding4 ,she pressed her feet upon the ground1 and the toes inside her worn shoes curved themselves inwards4 ,what had ,valentine said8 ,what--what8 ,she stared dully at the doctor under her corrugated brows4 ,what did he say8 she murmured in an inward voice1 ,well--he didn't want me to see you4 ,he came here about that--my seeing you4 ,yes4 ,and--and ,marr's not dead1 he says1 at least not done with4 ,yes1 that was it--he says as no strong man who's lived long's done with when he's put away4 ,see8 ,her face lighted up a little4 ,she was beginning to trust her memory4 ,the influence of men lives after them1 the doctor said4 ,marr's too4 ,yes4 ,he said that8 ,she nodded4 ,then with a flash of understanding1 a flash of that smouldering power which she had felt in loneliness and longed to tear out from its prison1 she cried3 ,that's it4 ,that's how he's ,marr1 then4 ,she hesitated4 ,isn't it8 she said1 flushing with the thought that she might be showing herself a fool4 ,for she scarcely understood what she really meant4 ,valentine1 no longer himself1 but endowed with the influence of ,marr1 the doctor muttered2 she means that he told her something like that4 ,the phantasy of an unsteady brain4--,go on1 he added to her4 ,but ,cuckoo was relapsing into confusion already4 ,and then he talked a lot about will1 as he called it4 ,can't remember what he said4 ,try to4 ,she was silent1 knitting her brows4 ,it's no use4 ,i can't1 she said1 despairingly4 ,but ,i know he says that he's really ,marr and that he's killed ,valentine4 ,he said that2 ,i know he did4 ,she glanced eagerly at the doctor1 in the obvious hope that his cleverness1 which she believed to be unlimited and profound1 would in a flash divine all the strange secret from this exposition of her disjointed recollection4 ,with each word she spoke1 however1 the doctor became more and more convinced that ,valentine had only been cruelly amusing himself with her1 or weaving for her benefit some intricate web of vain madness4 ,and ,cuckoo1 noticing this now1 and recollecting the momentary clearness of comprehension which had seized her at one point in ,valentine's wild sermon to her1 was mad with herself for not being able to seize again that current of inspiration1 almost mad with the doctor for not unravelling the mystery4 ,this excess of feeling finally drowned and swept away as a corpse the memory of the gospel of influence4 ,i can't remember no more1 she said stolidly4 ,there was ever such a lot about--about some one as was good and didn't want to be good any more1 and so it was driven away--,i don't know4 ,p'rhaps he was only gamin' me4 ,she stared moodily at her feet1 which she had stuck out from under her dress4 ,the doctor said nothing1 but at her last speech his face had lit up with a sort of excitement4 ,for had she not described in those few ill-chosen words the very mental position of the former ,valentine8 ,a saint at first with his will1 a saint at last against his will--and now a saint no more4 ,that was1 perhaps1 the key to the whole matter4 ,a good man prays to be no longer good4 ,his prayer is granted4 ,his grievous desire is fulfilled4 ,and then he may pray forever in vain to be as he once was4 ,yet the change in ,valentine was more even than this1 more than the gliding from white purity to black sin4 ,there was something4 ,as ,cuckoo and the doctor sat in silence1 she staring vacantly and empty of thought1 being now utterly and chaotically puzzled1 he thinking deeply1 the door bell rang4 ,in a moment ,mrs4 ,brigg appeared1 went to ,cuckoo and muttered in her ear3 ,mr4 ,haddison wants to come in4 ,i told him you was busy4 ,oh1 said ,cuckoo1 ,i say--wait1 and then to the doctor1 ,it's him4 ,it's ,julian4 ,let him in1 the doctor said quickly4 ,to see ,cuckoo and ,julian together might tell him much4 ,julian came in1 stumbling rather heavily at the entrance of the room4 ,,chapter ,,vi ,,clear ,,weather ,damn that mat6 he exclaimed4 ,i say1 ,cuckoo1 who the--8 ,the question faded on his lips as he saw ,doctor ,levillier1 on whom he gazed with a vacant surprise that1 added to the unsteadiness of his movement upon them1 spoke his condition very plainly4 ,you1 doctor6 ,well1 ,i'm damned6 ,what are you here for8 ,to see ,miss ,bright1 the doctor said1 coolly4 ,he had pushed forward a chair quickly with his foot4 ,julian collapsed in it by the table4 ,beads of the fog lay all over his long greatcoat and upon his hat1 which he had not yet taken off4 ,his face was flushed and dull4 ,it's an infernal evening1 he said4 ,you doctoring ,cuckoo1 eh8 ,i have been talking to ,miss ,bright4 ,oh1 all right4 ,i don't mind4 ,cuckoo1 help me off with this coat4 ,there's a good girl4 ,she obeyed without a word4 ,when the coat was off ,julian threw himself back in the chair and heaved a long sigh4 ,his hat fell onto the floor with a bang1 but he did not seem to notice it4 ,his face was moody and miserable4 ,molly's thrown me over1 he said4 ,cuckoo caught her breath sharply and stole a glance at the doctor4 ,have some tea8 she said4 ,no2 a brandy and soda4 ,haven't got it4 ,you must do with tea4 ,she rang the bell and ordered it despite his grumblings4 ,mrs4 ,brigg made no difficulty4 ,julian had long ago soothed her delicate susceptibilities with gold4 ,so1 ,cuckoo1 oddly shy and excited1 made tea for the doctor and ,julian4 ,the tea cleared the latter's fogged brain a little1 but he was still morose and self-centred4 ,he had evidently come to pour some woes out to ,cuckoo and was restrained by the presence of the doctor1 at whom he looked from time to time with an expression that was near to disfavour4 ,but the doctor began to chat easily and cordially1 and ,julian gradually thawed4 ,i suppose you know ,rip's dead1 he said presently4 ,went out the other night and got frozen in the snow4 ,poor little beggar4 ,val's awfully cut up about it4 ,is he8 said the doctor4 ,yes4 ,dear old ,val4 ,dev'lish hard ,rip's never making it up with him again1 wasn't it8 ,rip didn't know a good fellow1 did he1 doctor8 ,he was devoted to ,valentine once1 the doctor said4 ,ah1 but he changed4 ,dogs are just like women1 just like women1 never the same two days together4 ,curse them4 ,he appeared to have forgotten ,cuckoo's presence1 and she sat listening eagerly1 quite unmoved by the dagger thrust at her sex4 ,dogs don't usually change4 ,their faithfulness bears everything without breaking4 ,except a trance1 then1 ,julian said1 still with a wavering in-and-out stolidity1 at the same time mournful and almost ludicrous4 ,that trance did for ,rip2 did for him1 ,i tell you4 ,he never knew poor old ,val again4 ,as if he thought him another man after that1 another man4 ,the doctor's eyes met ,cuckoo's4 ,she had a teacup at her rouged lips1 and had paused in the act of drinking1 fascinated by the words that wound so naturally into the legend of change which she knew and knew not4 ,as if ,val wasn't just the same1 ,julian pursued1 shaking his head slowly4 ,just the same4 ,you think so8 the doctor said1 quickly4 ,eh8 ,you think that trance made no difference to him8 ,why1 how should it8 ,cuckoo drank her tea hastily and put the cup down4 ,how should it8 ,julian repeated1 as if with a heavy challenge4 ,it might in many ways1 to his health-- ,he's stronger than ever he was4 ,or to his mind1 his nature4 ,you see no change there that might have frightened ,rip8 ,not ,i4 ,he's more of a man1 good old ,val1 even than he was4 ,ah6 ,you acknowledge there is a change4 ,give me some more tea1 ,cuckoo1 ,julian said1 thrusting his cup towards her4 ,make it strong4 ,it's picking me up4 ,he sat forward in his chair and began to light a cigar1 keeping his eyes on the doctor4 ,well1 if you call that a change2 to get like other men4 ,old ,val was a saint4 ,i loved him then1 but ,i love him ten times more now he's--a--the other thing1 you know4 ,ten times more4 ,he knows the world now1 and his advice is worth having4 ,i'd follow him anywhere4 ,he can't go wrong4 ,takes care of himself1 and of me too4 ,i might have been anything--anything1 but for him4 ,instead of what ,i am-- ,he drew himself up with some pride1 and pulled at the cup which ,cuckoo pushed towards him4 ,i'm just what ,val makes me2 just what he makes me1 he said1 taking obvious joy in the thought4 ,val can make me do anything4 ,you know that1 doctor8 ,yes4 ,then you have changed with him1 become more of a man1 as you call it1 with him4 ,is that so1 ,julian8 ,i suppose so4 ,julian was drinking his tea1 which had become very strong from standing4 ,and are you happier than you were before8 ,the doctor spoke insistently and gravely4 ,cuckoo had taken ,jessie onto her lap and now stroked the little dog quickly and softly with a thin1 fluttering hand4 ,julian seemed trying to think1 to dive into his mind and discover its real feelings4 ,i suppose so1 he said presently4 ,but who's happy8 ,i should like to know4 ,cuckoo isn't4 ,are you1 ,cuckoo8 ,it seemed a cruel question1 addressed to that spectre of girlhood4 ,i dunno1 she answered swiftly4 ,it don't matter much either way4 ,she may be1 the doctor said4 ,and you were happy1 ,julian4 ,the tea had certainly cleared the boy's brain4 ,his manner was more sensible1 and the heavy sensuality had gone from his eyes4 ,though he still looked haggard and wretched1 he was no longer the mere wreck of vice he had seemed when he drifted into the little room out of the fog4 ,was ,i8 he said slowly4 ,it seems a devil of a time ago4 ,the doctor's heart warmed to these two young creatures1 children to him1 yet who had seen so much1 gone so far down into the depths that lie beneath the feet of life4 ,he thought in that moment that he could willingly give up all his own peace of mind1 success1 fame1 restfulness of heart1 to set them straight up1 face to face with strength and purity once more4 ,one was well born1 educated1 still handsome1 the other a so-called lost woman1 and originally only a very poor and hopelessly ignorant girl4 ,yet their community of misery and sorrow put them side by side1 like two children who gather violets in a lane together1 or drown together in some strong1 sad river4 ,it is not so long1 ,julian1 he said4 ,only before ,valentine's trance4 ,julian caught him up quickly4 ,why d'you say that1 doctor8 ,why8 ,simply because it is truth4 ,you're always at that trance4 ,i believe it's just because you told us not to sit again4 ,but there was no harm done4 ,you are sure of that8 ,as he put the question the doctor's mind was on a hunt round that sleep and waking4 ,he had gradually come to think that night a night of some strange crisis1 through which ,valentine had passed from what he had been to what he was4 ,yet his knowledge could not set at the door of that unnatural slumber the blame of all that followed it4 ,his imagination might1 but not his knowledge4 ,he wondered whether ,julian might not help him to elucidation4 ,sure8 of course6 ,why not8 ,valentine's all right4 ,i'm all right4 ,rip's the only one gone4 ,and if he'd only stayed in the house that night he'd be all right too4 ,no1 ,addison4 ,julian stared at this flat contradiction4 ,not8 ,rip never went out of the house4 ,but he died in the snow4 ,no1 the doctor said quietly4 ,he died in your dining-room1 of fear--fear of his old master1 ,valentine4 ,what8 said ,julian1 gripping the table with his right hand4 ,val had been at him8 ,in two or three simple1 straightforward words1 the doctor described the death of ,rip4 ,when he had finished ,cuckoo gave a little cry1 and clasped the astonished and squirming ,jessie close in her arms4 ,julian's brow clouded4 ,he might have left ,rip alone1 he said4 ,it's odd dogs can't bear ,val now4 ,again since that trance1 the doctor said4 ,julian looked at him with acute irritation1 but said nothing4 ,then1 turning his eyes on ,cuckoo1 who was still hugging ,jessie1 he snapped his fingers at the little dog and called its name4 ,cuckoo extended her arms1 holding ,jessie1 to ,julian1 and he took the small creature gently4 ,and as he took her he bent forward and gazed long and deeply into ,cuckoo's eyes4 ,she trembled and flushed1 half with pleasure1 half with a nervous consciousness of the doctor's presence4 ,oh1 why do you8 she murmured1 turning her head away4 ,the action seemed to make ,julian aware that perhaps his manner was odd1 and his subsequent glance at the doctor was very plainly1 and even rudely1 explanatory of a wish to be alone with ,cuckoo4 ,the doctor read its meaning and resolved to go away4 ,with the quick observation and knowledge of men which long years of training had given to him1 he saw that1 strangely enough1 the only creature whose influence could in any way cope with the influence of ,valentine was not himself1 who once had been as a seer to the two young men1 but the thin1 spectral1 weary1 painted ,cuckoo4 ,there1 in that small room1 with the long murmur of ,london outside1 sat these two human beings1 desolate woman1 vice-ridden man1 both fallen down in the deep mire1 both almost whelmed in the flood of ,fate4 ,and he stood strong1 faithful1 clean-souled1 brave-hearted1 yet impotent1 regarding them4 ,for some power willed it that misery alone could hold out a helping hand to misery1 that vice and degradation must rise to thrust back vice and degradation4 ,the fallen creature was to be the protector1 the unredeemed to be the redeemer4 ,doctor ,levillier knew this when he saw ,julian's long glance into the hollow eyes of ,cuckoo4 ,and he thrilled with the knowledge4 ,it seemed to him a great demonstration of the root1 the core1 of divine pity which he believed to be the centre of the scheme of the world4 ,round this centre revolved wheels within wheels of cruelty1 of agony1 of ruthless passions and of lawless bitterness4 ,yet they radiated from pity4 ,they radiated from love4 ,how it was so he could not tell1 and there the pessimist had him by the throat4 ,but that it was so he felt in his inmost heart1 and never more than now1 when the tired boy sneered at him1 who was an old friend1 clean of life1 gentle of nature1 and turned to this girl1 this thing that loathsome men played with and scorned4 ,cuckoo flushed and trembled2 this divine pity outpainted her rouge1 and shook that body which had so often betrayed itself to destroyers4 ,this divine pity gave to her1 who had lost all1 the power to find freedom for another soul that lay in bondage4 ,the doctor gazed for an instant at the boy and girl1 and was deeply moved4 ,his lips breathed a word that was a prayer1 for ,julian1 for the lady of the feathers4 ,then he got up4 ,i have to go1 he said4 ,julian said nothing2 ,cuckoo flushed again1 and accompanied the doctor to the hall door4 ,when she had opened it1 and they looked out1 it was very cold1 but the fog had lifted1 and was floating away to reveal a sky full of stars1 which always seem to shine more brightly upon frost4 ,the doctor took the girl's hand4 ,i see you in clear weather1 he said4 ,you don't--you don't think as he'll--as ,i'll-- stammered ,cuckoo1 glancing awkwardly towards the lighted doorway of the little sitting-room1 and then at the doctor4 ,the church clock striking #g3cj pointed the application of the hesitating murmur4 ,it was unconventionally late for an afternoon call4 ,it'll be all right1 you know that8 said the lady of the feathers4 ,yes1 ,i know that1 he answered4 ,you have to fight1 ,i feel that2 only you can do it4 ,you have to fight this--this-- and here the doctor's loyalty spoke1 for he could not betray even this new ,valentine1--this strange madness of ,valentine's4 ,pit your will against his1 and conquer for ,julian's sake4 ,will1 said ,cuckoo4 ,that's what he says ,i can't have4 ,won't you pray to have it given you8 said the little doctor4 ,cuckoo looked at him1 wondering4 ,then she said3 ,i believe ,i could fight better 'n pray4 ,sometimes battle is the greatest of all prayers1 said the doctor4 ,the iron gate clicked4 ,he was gone4 ,cuckoo cast an oblique glance up at the stars before she shut the door1 and retraced her steps down the passage4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,,battle ,,array ,when ,julian left the ,marylebone ,road that night it was nearly ten o'clock4 ,he was quite sober1 and looked preternaturally grave as he opened the little gate and stepped out into the frost-bound street4 ,in the lighted aperture of the doorway behind him ,cuckoo stood like a shadow half revealed peeping after him1 and he turned and waved his hand to her4 ,then he walked away slowly1 meditating4 ,that night the fight for the possession of his will1 his soul1 had begun in deadly earnest4 ,he did not know it1 yet he was vaguely aware that he began to move in the midst of unwonted circumstances4 ,cuckoo had not been able wholly to conceal from him her strong mental excitement4 ,since her conversation with the doctor she had become a different woman4 ,for the one word had been spoken which could change weakness into strength1 utter self-distrust into something that at least resembled self-reliance4 ,the doctor had broken ,valentine's spell over ,cuckoo with that word4 ,he believed in her4 ,he told her to fight4 ,he assumed that she had some power1 even more power for ,julian than he had4 ,only you can do it1 he had said4 ,the sentence armed her from head to foot1 put weapons in her hands1 light in her hollow eyes1 a leaping exultation in her heart4 ,the flickering power that she had marvelled at1 and then despaired of1 burnt up at last into a strong flame4 ,that evening it had dazzled ,julian's eyes4 ,he seemed to see a new ,cuckoo1 and he was thinking of her as he walked along now in the frost under the stars4 ,his meditation was not very intellectual or very profound1 for since the change in his life ,julian had put his old intellectualities away from him4 ,passion1 so long guarded1 so bravely repressed1 once it had broken loose stormed all the heights of his nature1 and drove every sentiment that tried to oppose it into exile4 ,the animalism that is so generally present in a boy physically strong took possession of him1 and would not tolerate any divided allegiance4 ,it declined to permit his life to be a thing of mingled enjoyments1 now rejoicing in the leaping desires of the body1 now disregarding them for the aspirations and clear contentments of the mind4 ,it seemed vengeful1 like a man long kept fasting against his will1 and having at last come into its empire made that empire an autocracy1 a tyranny4 ,julian had passed at a step from one extreme to another1 and had already so lost the habit of following any mental process to a conclusion that he could no longer think clearly with ease1 or observe himself with any acuteness4 ,he was for the time all body1 knew his muscles1 his flesh1 his limbs1 like intimates2 his mind only distantly1 like a stranger4 ,with passion1 with greed1 he had seized on all those pleasures which he had previously feared and shunned1 until his brain was heavy as is the brain of a glutton and a drunkard1 and his mind stepped in any direction with a languid lethargy4 ,so to-night he had the face of a man puzzled as he walked in the frost under the stars4 ,once the hint of some power lurking in ,cuckoo had thrilled and awed him1 as only a certain clearness--a certain receptive1 appreciative clearness--can be thrilled and awed4 ,now the abrupt development of that power almost distressed1 because it confused him4 ,he had gone down lower in the interval between the two possibilities of sensation4 ,what the devil's come over ,cuckoo8 so ran his thought with a schoolboy gait4 ,that something had come over her he recognized4 ,she was no longer the girl he had stared at in ,piccadilly1 the creature he had pitied in the twilight hour of their first friendly interview4 ,nor was she the woman whose soul he had injured by his cruel whim1 the woman who had beaten him with reproaches1 and made him for an instant almost ashamed of his lusts4 ,all these humanities perhaps slept1 or woke1 in her still4 ,yet it was not they which heavily concerned him on his way to the ,marble ,arch4 ,there is a vitality about power of whatever kind that makes itself instantly felt1 even when it is not understood1 even when it is neither beloved nor appreciated4 ,julian was confused by his dull and sudden recognition of power in ,cuckoo4 ,no longer did it flash upon him1 a mystery of flame in her eyes1 moving him to the awe and the constraint that a man may feel at sight of an unearthly thing1 a phantom1 or a vision of the night4 7,he had looked for the flame in her eyes1 and he had not found it47 ,but it glowed upon him more steadily1 with a warmth of humanity1 of something inherent1 rooted1 not detached1 and merely for the moment and as if by chance prisoned in some particular place1 from which at a breath it might escape4 ,it drew him to ,cuckoo1 and at the same time it slightly repelled him1 the latter--though ,julian did not know it--by the sharp abruptness of its novelty4 ,for the doctor had lit a blaze of strength in the girl by a word4 ,julian's eyes were dazzled by the blaze4 ,custom might teach them to face it more calmly4 ,at present he could look at the stars with greater ease4 ,indeed1 as he walked1 he did look at them1 and thought of the eyes of ,cuckoo1 and then of the eyes of all women1 and of their strange intensities of suggestion and of realization1 of their language of the devil and of the clouds1 of their kindling vigours4 ,but the eyes of ,cuckoo were no longer as the eyes of any other woman4 ,julian glanced at a girl who watched him from the corner of the street4 ,he knew that ,cuckoo looked each night at men as that girl looked at him4 ,he knew it1 yet he felt that he did not believe it4 ,for to him she was dressed already in the fillet of some priestess1 in the robes of one tending some strange and unnamed altar4 ,she woke in him a little of the uneasy fear and uneasy attraction that a creature whom a man feels to be greater than himself often wakes in him4 ,that evening1 while ,julian sat with her1 he had been seized with curious conflicting desires to fall before her or to strike her1 to draw her close or to fend her off from him1 all dull1 too1 and vague as in heaviness of dreaming4 ,those feelings1 vague in the house1 were scarcely clearer in the cold and in the open spaces of the night1 and ,julian was conscious of a sense of irritation1 of anger against himself4 ,he felt as if he were an oaf1 a lout4 ,was it1 could it be1 ,cuckoo who had made him feel so8 ,after all1 what was she8 ,julian tried to hug and soothe himself in the unworthy remembrance of ,cuckoo's monotonous life and piteous deeds1 to reinstate himself in contented animalism by thoughts of the animalism of this priestess6 ,he laughed aloud under the stars1 but the laugh rang hollow4 ,he could not reinstate himself4 ,he could only wearily repeat1 ,what the devil's come over ,cuckoo8 with an iteration of dull1 moody petulance4 ,a hansom suddenly pulled up beside him and a voice called3 ,julian6 ,julian1 where are you coming from8 ,it was ,valentine4 ,he was muffled in a fur coat1 and stretched himself over the wooden apron to attract his friend's attention4 ,i have been to your rooms1 he continued4 ,don't you remember we had arranged to dine together8 ,julian looked at him without animation4 ,i had forgotten it1 he answered4 ,your memory is becoming very treacherous1 ,valentine said4 ,where are you off to8 ,get in4 ,i will drive you4 ,i hadn't any plan1 ,julian said1 getting into the cab4 ,drive to the ,savoy1 ,valentine called to the cabman4 ,i want some supper1 he added4 ,i can't come in4 ,i'm not dressed4 ,we will have a private room1 then4 ,have you dined8 ,i8 ,no4 ,valentine looked at him narrowly4 ,have you been in the ,marylebone ,road again8 he asked4 ,yes4 ,why8 ,i don't know4 ,the answer was the bald truth4 ,in making it ,julian experienced a slight feeling of relief4 ,he was putting into words the vagueness that perplexed him4 ,he wondered why he did go to see ,cuckoo4 ,but you must know4 ,you must have a reason1 said ,valentine4 ,if ,i have ,i don't know what it is4 ,i wish you would tell me1 old fellow4 ,i can't supply you with reasons for all your actions4 ,and ,i can't supply myself with reasons for any of them1 ,julian said slowly4 ,the words were leading him to a dawning wonder at his own way of life1 a dawning desire to know if there were really any reasons for the things he did4 ,but ,valentine did not accept the reply as satisfactory4 ,on the contrary1 it evidently irritated him still more1 for he said with unusual warmth3 ,your reason for dropping your engagements1 throwing me over and wasting my evenings is quite obvious4 ,the blessed damozel of the feathers is attractive to you4 ,her freshness captivates you4 ,her brilliant conversation entertains you4 ,she is the powdered and painted reason of these irrelevant escapades4 ,don't sneer at her1 ,val4 ,the words came quickly1 like a bolt4 ,valentine frowned1 and a deepening suspicion flashed in his eyes4 ,i did not think you were so easily flattered1 he continued4 ,flattered8 ,yes4 ,cuckoo ,bright admires you1 and you go to number #djj to smell the rather rank fumes of the incense which she burns at your shrine4 ,nonsense6 ,julian cried warmly4 ,what other reason can you have8 ,she has no beauty2 she has no conversation1 no gaiety1 no distinction1 no manners--she has nothing4 ,she is nothing4 ,ah1 it's there you're wrong4 ,wrong6 ,when you say she is nothing4 ,i say it again1 ,valentine reiterated almost fiercely4 ,the lady of the feathers is nothing1 nothing at all4 ,god and the devil--they have completely forgotten her4 ,a creature like that is neither good1 nor would ,i call her really evil1 for she is evil merely that she may go on living1 not because she has a fine pleasure in sin4 ,but if you sell your will for bread and butter1 you slip out of the world1 the world that must be reckoned with4 ,i say1 ,cuckoo ,bright is nothing4 ,and ,i tell you she is something extraordinary4 ,as ,julian spoke the words the cab stopped at the ,savoy4 ,valentine sprang out and paid the man4 ,his face was flushed as if with heat1 despite the piercing cold of the night4 ,a private room and supper for two1 he said to the man in the vestibule4 ,take my coat1 and he drew himself with obvious relief from the embrace of his huge coat4 ,julian and he said nothing more until they were sitting opposite to one another at a small oval table in a small and strongly decorated room1 whose windows faced the ,thames ,embankment4 ,the waiter uncorked a bottle of champagne with the air of one performing a religious rite4 ,the electric light gleamed and a fire chased the frost from recollection4 ,julian had already forgotten what they had been talking about in the cab4 ,the first sip of champagne swept the heavy meditativeness from him4 ,but ,valentine1 unfolding his napkin slowly1 and with his eyes on the menu1 said3 ,in what way is she something extraordinary8 ,h'm8 ,julian muttered4 ,surely you can define it4 ,what1 ,val8 ,the peculiarity of ,cuckoo ,bright that you laid so much stress on just now4 ,oh1 yes1 now ,i remember4 ,no1 ,i can't define it4 ,how good this soup is4 ,the soup here-- ,yes1 yes2 our coming here again and again to eat it proves our appreciation4 ,julian1 do endeavour to answer my question4 ,i am really interested to know exactly what it is that has taken you again to ,marylebone ,road4 ,julian drank some more champagne4 ,his eyes began to sparkle4 ,can you give a reason for everything you do8 he asked4 ,i think ,i certainly could for every act that ,i reiterate4 ,then you're built differently from me4 ,but ,i've told you all ,i can4 ,i like ,cuckoo4 ,she's a damned nice girl4 ,valentine's lip curled4 ,i can't agree with you1 ,julian4 ,you don't know her as ,i do4 ,not quite4 ,julian reddened4 ,come1 now1 he began1 and then checked himself and laughed good-naturedly4 ,you can't play the saint any more1 you know1 ,val1 he said4 ,i have no wish to4 ,i discovered long ago that a saint is only the corpse of a man1 not a living man at all4 ,but we are talking about this corpse of a woman4 ,cuckoo's no corpse4 ,by ,jove1 no4 ,i believe she's got a power that no other woman has4 ,how so8 ,you haven't been imagining that absurd flame in her eyes again8 ,valentine spoke with furtive uneasiness4 ,he was scarcely eating or drinking1 but ,julian was doing ample justice to the wine1 and displayed a very tolerable appetite4 ,he lifted his glass to his lips and put it down before he answered3 ,no4 ,it's gone4 ,valentine seemed relieved4 ,of course4 ,i knew it was an hallucination4 ,you went to satisfy yourself1 ,i suppose4 ,and now-- ,since it's gone ,cuckoo seems to me--,i don't know--changed somehow4 ,val1 there must be a few people in the world with great power over others4 ,you are one4 ,marr was another1 and-- ,he paused4 ,and what8 ,valentine said rather loudly4 ,well1 ,julian paused again1 as if conscious that he was about to say something that would seem ridiculous1 ,cuckoo-- ,is a third6 ,you think it reasonable to bracket me with a woman like that1 to compare my will1 mine1 who have lived the life of thought as well as the life of action1 who have trained my powers to the highest point1 and offered up sacrifices--yes1 sacrifices--to my will1 to that degraded1 powerless creature6 ,julian6 ,he stopped1 clenching his hand as it lay upon the table4 ,never before had ,julian seen him so profoundly moved4 ,all his normal calm and self-possession seemed deserting him4 ,his lips worked like those of a man in the very extremity of rage1 and the red glow in his cheeks faded into the grey of suppressed passion4 ,julian was utterly taken aback by such an exhibition of feeling4 ,my dear fellow1 he stammered1 ,i didn't mean--,i had no idea-- ,you did mean that4 ,you do4 ,and ,i--,i have been fool enough to believe that you relied upon me1 on my judgment2 that you looked up to me2 that--good ,god1 how absurd6 ,he lay back in his chair and burst into a paroxysm of loud and mirthless laughter1 while ,julian1 holding his champagne-glass between his fingers1 and twisting it stealthily round and round1 regarded him with a blank stare of utter confusion and perplexity4 ,valentine continued to laugh so long that it seemed as if he were seized in the grip of a horrible hysteria4 ,but just as the situation was becoming actually intolerable1 he suddenly controlled himself with an obvious and painful effort4 ,after remaining perfectly silent for two or three minutes1 he said1 in a voice that struggled to be calm and succeeded in being icy3 ,julian1 you have torn the veil of the ,holy of ,holies from the top to the bottom with a vengeance4 ,but why have you kept up the deception so long1 when1 after all1 there was nothing behind the veil8 ,that was surely unnecessary4 ,what is the matter with you1 ,val8 ,i don't understand you4 ,nor ,i you4 ,and yet we say that we are intimate friends4 ,there's an irony4 ,at this point the waiter came in with an omelette1 and the conversation ceased1 checked by his peripatetic presence4 ,as soon as he had retreated1 with all the hushed activity of a mute rolling on casters1 ,julian exclaimed3 ,it's not an irony4 ,you choose to make it so4 ,you're not yourself to-night1 ,valentine4 ,i do not compare you with poor ,cuckoo4 ,how could ,i8 ,she's down in the dirt and you are far away from the dirt4 ,and of course your power over any one must be a thousand times greater than hers4 ,if it came to a battle8 ,if it came to a battle8 interrupted ,valentine4 ,you say that1 ,julian8 ,a battle6 of what8 ,of wills1 naturally1 ,cuckoo ,bright's will against mine8 ,but what a strange idea-- ,you haven't answered my question4 ,because ,i don't see the force of it4 ,answer it nevertheless4 ,then ,cuckoo would be beaten at once1 ,julian said4 ,but there was no ring of conviction in his voice1 and he fell at once into silence after he had spoken the words4 ,valentine saw by his frowning face and puckered forehead that the idea of such a battle had set in motion a train of thought in his mind4 ,you are wondering1 ,julian1 ,valentine said4 ,julian looked up4 ,who doesn't wonder in this beastly world8 he said morosely4 ,i never do4 ,i prefer to act4 ,drink some more champagne8 ,he pushed the bottle over and went on3 ,you are wondering why ,i spoke of a battle between ,cuckoo ,bright and me4 ,well1 ,i'll tell you4 ,i spoke because ,i see that there is to be such a battle4 ,julian drank his champagne and looked definitely and increasingly astonished1 as ,valentine continued3 ,there is to be such a battle4 ,i have seen it for a long time4 ,julian1 you may think you know women4 ,you don't4 ,i said just now that a woman like ,cuckoo ,bright is nothing1 but ,i said it for the sake of uttering a paradox4 ,no woman is ever nothing in a world that is full of the things called men4 ,no woman's ever nothing so long as there is a bottle of hair-dye1 a rouge-pot1 a dressmaker1 and--a man within reach4 ,she may be in the very gutter4 ,that doesn't matter4 ,for from the very gutter she can see--not the stars1 but the twinkling vanities of men1 and they will light her on her way to ,mayfair drawing-rooms1 even1 perhaps1 to ,court4 ,who knows8 ,and ,god--or the devil--has given to every woman the knowledge of her possibilities4 ,men have only the ignorance of theirs4 ,what has this to do with ,cuckoo and me8 ,julian said4 ,this bottle is empty1 ,valentine4 ,valentine rang hastily for another4 ,and what on earth has it got to do with a battle between you and ,cuckoo8 ,everything4 ,she hates me4 ,she has told you so again and again4 ,julian looked expressively uncomfortable4 ,i've always stood up for you1 he began4 ,i believe it4 ,she hates me not because ,i am myself1 but simply because ,i am your closest friend4 ,hush1 ,julian4 ,it's much better all this should be said once for all4 ,many women are intensely jealous of the men friends of men whom they either love1 or who they mean shall love them4 ,look at the wives who drive their husbands' old chums from intimacy into the outer darkness of acquaintanceship4 ,wedding-days break1 as well as bind1 faith4 ,and you have had your wedding-day with ,cuckoo4 ,that was an accident4 ,she loathes to think of it4 ,she may say so4 ,but it puts a fine edge on her hatred of me1 nevertheless4 ,no1 ,valentine1 no4 ,her dislike of you is simply silly--instinctive4 ,she tells you so4 ,ah6 ,i was wrong to call her nothing4 ,but it is her hatred of me that must bring us to battle unless-- ,unless what8 ,you give her up now1 once and for all4 ,give ,cuckoo up6 ,the words came slowly1 and the voice that uttered them sounded startled and even shocked4 ,valentine began to gauge the new power of the lady of the feathers from that moment4 ,that's a--a strong thing to do1 ,val4 ,it won't hurt you to do a strong thing for once in your life4 ,even if it didn't hurt me ,i think it would hurt her very much4 ,for1 ,valentine1 ,i believe you said the truth when you said to me once1 ',that girl loves you4' ,do you remember8 ,perfectly4 ,loves you1 your birth1 your position1 your money1 your good looks1 perhaps your standpoint above the gutter4 ,i can well believe that ,miss ,bright1 like all her sisterhood1 loves with undying love that combination of flesh-pots1 her notion of the ego of a man4 ,she has never accepted a halfpenny from me4 ,because she means eventually to have twenty-one shillings in the pound4 ,have some more champagne4 ,yes4 ,you are wrong1 ,val1 utterly wrong4 ,cuckoo's not mercenary4 ,if such a girl could be good1 she is good4 ,there was just a touch of the maudlin in ,julian's voice4 ,he went on very earnestly1 and nodding his head emphatically over even his conjunctions4 ,and if she were what you say1 she would have no influence over me1 and ,i should hate her4 ,but to me she is just what a good girl might be4 ,why1 even the doctor-- ,was he there to-night8 ,valentine cried1 with a sudden inspiration4 ,of course he was4 ,and you know what a particular little chap he is4 ,why was he there8 ,just to see ,cuckoo1 you know1 in a friendly way4 ,valentine realized then that the battle had begun4 ,he divined the meaning of the doctor's visit4 ,he guessed what it had done for the lady of the feathers4 ,and he sat silent while ,julian went on drinking more champagne4 ,i believe he likes ,cuckoo1 ,val4 ,i am sure he does4 ,and he behaved quite as if--quite as if he--you know--respected her4 ,and it's all nonsense her hating you1 and having a battle1 and all that kind of thing1 with you4 ,she's only fanciful4 ,she's not-- ,would you give her up if ,i asked you to8 ,mind1 ,julian1 ,i don't say ,i ever shall ask you4 ,but if ,i do8 ,don't ask me to1 don't ask me4 ,poor ,cuckoo1 poor girl1 she's got no friends1 money1 or--or anything4 ,poor ,cuckoo4 ,poor ,cuck--,cuck-- ,he fell back in his chair1 nodding his head1 and reiterating his commiseration for the lady of the feathers in a faint and recurring hiccough4 ,valentine got up and rang the bell4 ,the bill1 please1 waiter4 ,yes1 sir4 ,the man glanced at ,julian with the shadow of a pleasing1 and apparently also pleased1 smile and withdrew4 ,valentine stood for a moment looking at the leaning figure on the chair1 relaxed in the first throes of a drunken slumber4 ,his anger and almost unbridled emotion completely died away as he looked4 ,can it be called a battle after all8 he said to himself4 ,they may not know it1 but it is practically won already4 ,the waiter re-entered4 ,valentine paid the bill1 and the breath of the frost shortly revived ,julian into an attempt at conversation4 ,don't ask me to give her up1 ,val2 don't1 don't ask me4 ,poor girl4 ,poor1 poor ,cuck--,cuck4 ,the name of the lady of the feathers seemed a good one for a tipsy tongue to play with4 ,,chapter ,,viii ,,the ,,doctor ,,receives ,a ,,visit ,,from ,,mrs4 ,,wilson ,doctor ,levillier grew more puzzled day by day4 ,his observation of ,valentine taught him only one thing certainly1 and beyond possibility of doubt and that was the death of the youth he had once loved1 the living presence of a youth whom he could not love1 whom he could only shrink from and even fear4 ,he held to the theory that this radical and ghastly change must be caused by some obscure dementia1 some secret overturning of the mind2 but he was obliged to confess to himself that he held to it only because1 otherwise1 he would be floating helpless1 and without a spar1 upon a tide of perplexity and confusion4 ,he could not honestly say that he was able to put his finger upon any definite signs of madness exhibited by ,valentine1 any that would satisfy a mad-doctor4 ,he could only say that ,valentine's character had been strangely beautiful and was now strangely evil1 and that the soul of ,julian was following rapidly the soul of ,valentine4 ,the more closely he watched ,valentine1 the more astounded did he become and the more eager to detach ,julian from him4 ,but the strangest thing of all1 as the doctor allowed in one of his frequent self-communings1 was1 that though formerly he had loved ,valentine better than ,julian1 it never occurred to him that the work of rescue might be undertaken on behalf of the former4 ,his mind dismissed the new ,valentine into a region that was beyond his scope and power4 ,he felt instinctively that here was a soul1 a will1 that his soul could not turn from its ends or detach from its pursuits4 ,the new ,valentine was a law to himself4 ,what moved the doctor to such horror was that the new ,valentine was a law to ,julian4 ,and there was something peculiarly dreadful in the idea which he held1 that ,julian1 once under the beautiful influence of ,valentine's sanity1 was now under the baneful influence of his insanity4 ,the doctor had gone the length of deciding1 in his own mind1 that ,valentine's sane period of life and insane period lay one on each side of a fixed gulf1 and that fixed gulf was his long trance succeeding the final sitting of the two young men4 ,this conclusion was arrived at with ease1 once the theory of a subtle lunacy was accepted as a fact4 ,for1 on sending his mind back along the ways of recollection1 the doctor was able to recall hints of the new ,valentine dating from that very night1 but never before it4 ,the first hint was ,rip's manifested fear1 and this led on to others which have been already mentioned4 ,having made up his mind that this trance was the motive power of ,valentine's supposed madness1 the doctor sought in every direction to increase his knowledge on the subject of simulations of death by the human body4 ,he looked up again the cases of innumerable hysterical patients whom he had himself treated1 sometimes with success1 sometimes with failure4 ,he consulted other doctors1 of course without mentioning the object of his research4 ,he endeavoured to apply to ,valentine's case standards by which he was quickly able to form a satisfactory opinion on the cases of others4 ,he even went so far as to examine as closely as possible into the history of table-turning1 the uses ascribed to it by its votaries1 and the results obtained from it by credible--as opposed to merely credulous--witnesses4 ,but he found no case that seemed in any way analogous to the strange case of ,valentine4 ,as was only natural1 the doctor did not forget the possibility of hypnotism1 which had struck him during his second conversation with the lady of the feathers4 ,her confused declarations on the subject of ,valentine and ,marr being one person1 if they were really a true account of what ,valentine had said to her--which seemed very doubtful--could only be made clear by accepting as a fact that the dead ,marr had laid a hypnotic spell upon ,valentine1 which continued to exist actively long after its weaver slept in the grave4 ,but ,marr and ,valentine had never met4 ,this fact seemed fully established4 ,valentine had always denied any knowledge of him before the trance4 ,julian had always assumed that only he of the two friends had any acquaintance with ,marr4 ,and again1 when the doctor1 one day1 quite casually1 said to ,valentine1 ,by the way1 you never did meet ,marr1 did you8 ,valentine replied1 ,never1 till ,i saw him lying dead in the ,euston ,road4 ,the doctor could see no ray of light in the darkness that could guide him to the clue of the mystery4 ,he could only say to himself1 ,it must be1 it must be an obscure and horrible madness1 and keep his theory to himself4 ,sometimes1 as he sat pondering over the whole affair1 he smiled1 half sadly1 half sarcastically4 ,for the event brought home to his ready modesty the sublime ignorance of all clever and instructed men1 taught him to wonder1 as he had often wondered1 that there exists in such a world as ours such a fantastic growth as the flourishing weed1 conceit4 ,another matter that puzzled him greatly was this3 ,as the days went on1 and as ,valentine grew--and he did grow--more certain of his own power for evil over ,julian1 and as1 consequently1 he took less and less pains to hide the truth of his personality from the knowledge of the doctor1 the latter was frequently seized with the appalled sensation which had long ago overtaken him when he was followed in ,regent ,street and in ,vere ,street4 ,this recurrence of sensation1 and the certainty forced gradually upon the doctor that it was caused by the presence of ,valentine1 naturally led him to wonder whether it were possible that the man who had dogged his steps1 and eventually fled from him1 could have been ,valentine himself4 ,if that were indeed so1 then this madness--if it did exist--must surely have come upon ,valentine before the trance4 ,nothing but a madness could have led him thus in the night hours to steal out in pursuit of the friend who had just left his house and company4 ,but the doctor knew of no means by which he could satisfy himself of ,valentine's movements on the night in question4 ,to ask ,valentine himself would be to court a lie4 ,once the doctor thought for a moment of having recourse to ,wade4 ,but then he remembered that the butler did not sleep in the flat1 and had no doubt long gone home before the event of the night in question4 ,so1 again1 he was confronted with a dead-wall1 beyond which he could see no clear view or comprehensible country4 ,about this time there happened an event which struck strongly upon the doctor's mind4 ,he was one day1 as usual1 in his consulting-room1 receiving a multitude of patients1 when his man-servant entered with a card on a salver4 ,a lady1 sir1 who wishes to see you4 ,she has no appointment4 ,the doctor took the card4 ,on it was printed merely ,mrs4 ,wilson4 ,i cannot see the lady to-day1 he said1 unless she can call again after five o'clock4 ,but ,i can see her then1 or to-morrow morning at ten4 ,ask her which she would prefer4 ,after a moment's absence ,lawler returned4 ,the lady will come at five o'clock this evening1 sir4 ,very well4 ,and the doctor bent his mind once more steadily upon his work4 ,at five o'clock the door opened1 and a tall1 square1 and strong-looking woman1 dressed in black1 walked quietly into the room4 ,she bowed to the doctor and sat down4 ,i am glad you could see me to-day1 she said4 ,i leave ,london early to-morrow morning4 ,i hate ,london4 ,she spoke in a full and rather rich voice1 with a slightly burring accent1 and looked the doctor full in the face with a pair of large and sensible grey eyes4 ,nature had certainly built her to be one of those towers of women1 strong for themselves1 for their sex1 and often for men also1 who possess a peculiar power1 given in quite full measure to no male creature1 of large sympathy and lofty composure4 ,but the doctor saw at a glance that some adverse fate had disagreed with the intentions of nature1 and fought against them with success4 ,circumstances must have arisen in this woman's life to break down her unusual equipment of courage and resolution1 or if not to break it down1 to dint and batter the shield she carried over her heart and life4 ,for her fine face was lined with care1 her naturally firm mouth was tormented by an apparently irresistible quivering1 that1 once prompted by long and painful emotion1 had now become habitual and mechanical1 and her eyes1 although they met the eyes of the doctor with a peculiar large reception and return of scrutiny1 held in their depths that hunted expression which is only developed by long agony1 either physical or mental4 ,so much the doctor read in a glance before his patient began to detail her symptoms4 ,she detailed them with a certain obvious shame and a slow conquering of reticence that made her speak very deliberately4 ,she began by saying1 in no insulting manner1 that she had kept clear of doctors during almost the whole of her life2 that she had meant to keep clear of them till her death4 ,for ,i was born with a constitution of iron1 she said1 and ,i have always lived on the most sanitary principles1 and with the utmost simplicity4 ,so ,i hoped to go to my grave without much suffering4 ,certainly ,i never expected to have to consult any one on the ground of nervous breakdown4 ,yet that is exactly why ,i am here with you at this moment4 ,the circumstances of my life have been too much for me1 ,i suppose4 ,there was a grave pathos in her voice as she uttered the last words4 ,at any rate1 she continued1 after a pause1 ,i would like you to help me if you can4 ,the cause of my breakdown is remote enough1 several years old4 ,i had a tremendous burden to bear then1 and ,i bore it1 as ,i thought bravely1 for a long time4 ,at last it grew intolerable1 and then ,i succeeded at last in getting it removed1 in getting rid of it1 you understand1 altogether4 ,the odd thing is1 that while ,i was bearing my burden my strength did not fail me1 my courage did not utterly give way4 ,only when the burden was removed did ,i faint because of it4 ,my trouble was partially physical--,i had to endure grave physical cruelty at that time--but chiefly mental4 ,my agony of mind ran a race with my agony of body1 and won easily4 ,it's generally so with women1 ,i believe8 ,she waited as if for a reply4 ,yes1 it is often so1 ,doctor ,levillier answered4 ,ever since the burden was lifted from my shoulders1 she continued1 ,i have been getting steadily worse4 ,each month1 each year1 ,i became more and more degraded in my cowardice1 my fear of trifles1 even of things which have no existence at all4 ,all this is perhaps--perhaps--peculiarly painful to me because ,i am naturally1 you must understand1 what sane people call a strong-minded woman4 ,i had originally complete physical courage1 didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear1' despised those who did1 ,i am afraid4 ,so you see this is very bad for me2 it cuts so deep into my mind1 you see4 ,it makes me hate and loathe myself so4 ,i sleep badly1 and have the usual symptoms of nervous collapse1 ,i believe4 ,i'm strong one moment1 feeble1 no good at all1 the next4 ,my appetite has long been bad1 and so on4 ,but it isn't that sort of thing ,i mind4 ,i could fight with that well enough4 ,it's my horrible deterioration of mind that troubles me1 that has brought me here1 to you1 in spite of my hatred of ,london1 of every city4 ,it was in a city1 though not in ,london1 that ,i bore that burden ,i told you of4 ,it doesn't seem possible to me1 but ,i'm told1 and ,i read1 that my mind diseased may be an effect1 and that the cause may lie in my body4 ,that's why ,i come to you4 ,doctor ,levillier1 root out the disease if you can4 ,she ended speaking almost with passion1 her lips trembling all the time and her eyes never leaving his face4 ,then she added with a curious characteristic abruptness3 ,i will tell you that ,i've plenty of money4 ,lack of funds is no weapon against my return to health--if my return is in any way possible4 ,doctor ,levillier smiled slightly4 ,you are anticipating the usual 'long-sea voyage' formula1 ,i see1 he said4 ,possibly4 ,i should not prescribe it for you off-hand1 he said4 ,sea air is not a specific for all nervous complaints1 as some people seem to think4 ,you have no bodily pain8 ,no4 ,i often wish ,i had4 ,what you tell me about your gradual collapse coming on after the crisis of your troubles was over1 and not during it1 does not surprise me4 ,nor am ,i puzzled by your malady increasing if1 as ,i suppose1 you are living idly4 ,i am4 ,i have no courage to do anything or see anybody4 ,exactly4 ,you live in a sort of hiding4 ,why--yes4 ,you see1 once ,i was well known to a good many people4 ,my troubles became known to them too4 ,i could not get rid of that burden ,i told you of except by blazoning them abroad4 ,i shrink from meeting any people now4 ,therefore ,i live very quietly4 ,i-- ,suddenly she seemed to grow tired of the half measures in frankness that had so far governed her communications4 ,she spread forth her hands with a very characteristic1 ample gesture of sudden confidence4 ,i think ,i'll tell you exactly what it was1 she said4 ,you may have read of me4 ,long ago1 some years at least1 ,i was obliged to take action against my husband1 a ,mr4 ,wilson1 who afterwards assumed the name of ,marr4 ,i charged him with cruelty1 won my case1 and obtained a judicial separation4 ,then ,dr4 ,levillier knew that he looked on the former wife of the strange1 cruel1 dead man1 whose influence had entered into the lives of his two friends4 ,you may have heard of my case8 ,mrs4 ,wilson said4 ,certainly ,i have4 ,it was bad1 even from a newspaper point of view1 ,i believe4 ,people congratulated me on getting rid of a brute1 and thought ,i was all right and ought to be happy4 ,but the newspapers and the world never knew what ,i had gone through1 the real horrors1 before ,i insisted on release4 ,you started when ,i called my husband a brute just now1 ,dr4 ,levillier2 ,i noticed it4 ,the phrase hurt you1 coming from any wife about any husband4 ,i know why1 a boy once told me that his mother was always drunk4 ,he hurt me then into hating him for the rest of my days4 ,but ,i called a stranger a brute1 not the man ,i loved and married1 not the man ,i loved after ,i married him4 ,dr4 ,levillier1 do you believe in possessions8 ,she had been gradually getting excited while she spoke1 and1 on the last words1 she leaned forward in her chair and struck her hand down in her lap4 ,do you mean possession by the devil8 said the doctor1 very quietly1 opposing a strong calm to her intensity4 ,yes4 ,i do4 ,my experience obliges me to4 ,i knew1 for a year before ,i married him1 ,i married1 ,i lived for two years after ,i married him1 with a man who was my conception of what a man should be1 strong1 gentle1 tender1 brave1 a hero to me4 ,i got rid of a devil1 after ,i had endured two years of torture at his hands4 ,it is no use to tell me those two distinct men ,i knew were one and the same man4 ,my soul1 my heart1 declare that it's a lie4 ,there were such differences4 ,my husband loved music2 this man hated it2 yet had the power to use it as a means of tormenting me4 ,but ,i needn't dwell on the evidences of change4 ,suffice it to say that the thing that crushed me1 the thing that has brought me down into the dust where ,i am1 dust of cowardice1 and weakness1 and impotence to do or to be anything1 was the horror of awakening to a knowledge of that change1 of having to live as wife with this devil1 whom ,i knew not1 who was a stranger to me4 ,only the features were my husband's1 nothing else4 ,i got rid of a stranger4 ,the man found dead in the ,euston ,road was a stranger whom ,i hated1 nothing more to me than that4 ,as she spoke1 in a deep1 resonant voice that pulsated through the room1 ,dr4 ,levillier recalled1 almost with a thrill1 ,julian's words to him in ,harley ,street1 on the night of the fracas with the mastiffs1 words spoken about the dead ,marr3 ,his face dead was the most absolutely direct contradiction possible to his face alive4 ,he was not the same man4 ,he recalled these words and the thought shot through his mind3 ,did the man this woman loved return at the moment of death8 ,and that change in ,valentine6 ,he said to ,mrs4 ,wilson1 betraying none of the excitement that he really felt3 ,you spoke of cruelty4 ,you had to endure physical cruelty8 ,worse1 to see it endured by others1 dumb1 helpless creatures1 by my own dog4 ,a great shudder ran through her4 ,i can't talk of it1 she said4 ,but it made me what ,i am4 ,can you do anything for me8 ,why do you look at me like that8 ,for1 at her word about the dog1 the doctor had fallen into a tense reverie1 looking steadily upon her1 yet as one who sees little or nothing4 ,he roused himself quickly4 ,tell me something of the symptoms of your mental malady1 he said4 ,these fancies that distress you1 of what nature are they8 ,she told him4 ,many of them were symptoms well known to all those who have suffered acutely after some great shock1 imagined sounds1 movements1 and so forth4 ,the doctor listened4 ,he had heard such a story many times before4 ,i1 ,i am full of these ghastly1 these degrading fancies1 ,mrs4 ,wilson cried1 with a sort of large indignation against herself1 and yet an uncertain terror4 ,is it not--8 ,she suddenly stopped speaking4 ,there's some one at your door1 she said1 after a second or two of apparent attention to some sound without4 ,i dare say4 ,a patient4 ,at this moment a voice1 which ,dr4 ,levillier immediately recognized as the voice of ,valentine1 was audible in the hall4 ,mrs4 ,wilson turned suddenly very pale1 and began to tremble and gnaw her nether lip with her teeth in an access of nervous disturbance4 ,in ,god's name tell me who that is1 she whispered1 turning her head in the direction of the door4 ,it can't be--it can't be-- ,valentine's voice rose a little louder4 ,it is his voice4 ,fancy6 the doctor said firmly4 ,it is the voice of a friend of mine1 ,mr4 ,valentine ,cresswell4 ,mrs4 ,wilson said nothing4 ,she was trying to force herself to believe the evidence of another's sense against her own4 ,such a task is always difficult4 ,at last she looked up and said3 ,there1 doctor1 there you have an exhibition of my illness4 ,it's horrible to me4 ,can you cure it8 ,i will try1 the doctor answered4 ,but he found it very difficult just at that moment to say the three words quietly1 to let ,valentine go after leaving his message1 without confronting him with this haggard patient who was entering the pool of ,bethesda4 ,,chapter ,,ix ,a ,,shadow ,,on ,,fire ,when a naturally calm1 clear1 and courageous mind finds itself besieged by what seem hysterical fancies1 it is troubled and perplexed1 and is inclined to take drastic measures to restore itself to its normal condition4 ,dr4 ,levillier found himself the prey of such fancies after his interview with ,mrs4 ,wilson4 ,he had prescribed for her4 ,he had very carefully considered what way of life would be likely to restore her to health1 and to banish the demons which had brought her strength and unusual self-reliance so low4 ,he had received her gratitude1 and had dismissed her to the following of his plans for her benefit4 ,all this he had done with calm deliberation1 the very cheerful composure which he always practiced towards the victims of nervous complaints4 ,but even while he did this his own mind was in a turmoil4 ,for this woman had let fall statements with regard to her dead husband which most curiously bolstered up ,cuckoo's fantastic assertion that ,valentine and ,marr were the same man4 ,marr had been cruel to animals1 to dogs1 had evidently taken a keen enjoyment in torturing them1 and on hearing ,valentine's voice she had turned pale and declared that it was the voice of her husband4 ,then her strange declaration about her husband's use of music as a mode of cruelty6 ,these circumstances appealed powerfully to the doctor's mind1 or at least to that unscientific side of it which inclined him to romance1 and to a certain sympathy with the mysteries of the world4 ,many ,europeans who go to ,india return to their own continent imbued with a belief in miracles1 modern miracles1 which no argument1 no sarcasm1 can shake4 ,but there are miracles in ,europe too4 ,the magicians of the ,east work wonders in the strange atmosphere of that strange country1 whose very air is heavy with magic4 ,yet ,england1 too1 has her magicians4 ,london holds in the arms of its yellow fogs and dust-laden clouds miracles4 ,doctor ,levillier found himself assailed by ideas like these as he thought of that transformed ,marr1 possessed1 as the pale1 strongly built wreck of a grand1 powerful woman had named it1 as he thought of the transformed ,valentine1 the hour of whose transformation coincided with the hour of ,marr's death4 ,why had this new1 horrible1 yet beautiful creature risen out of the ashes of the trance that was practically a death8 ,why had he such amazing points of resemblance to ,marr8 ,why had the influence of ,marr been deliberately intruded into the calm1 happy1 and safe lives of ,julian and ,valentine8 ,marr was cruel to dogs1 and dogs showed rage and terror when the new ,valentine approached them4 ,marr had a hatred1 yet a knowledge of music4 ,the new ,valentine1 when forced to sing1 sang like some wild1 desolate thing1 with reluctant and terrible voice4 ,and at this point the doctor used the curb suddenly and pulled himself up sharply4 ,he felt that is was useless1 that it was unworthy1 to plunge himself thus in romance1 and to hang veils of mystery around these facts which he had to accept and to deal with4 ,a touch of humanity is worth all the unhuman romance in the world4 ,humanity lay at the doctor's gate1 sore distressed1 sinking to something that was beyond distress4 ,so1 putting his fancies resolutely behind him1 ,doctor ,levillier resolved to fight through that frail weapon1 the lady of the feathers1 the battle of ,julian's will against the will--which he now fully and once for all recognized as malign--of the man he must still call ,valentine4 ,valentine had said to ,julian1 at the ,savoy1 ,if it came to a battle--,cuckoo ,bright's will against mine6 ,the doctor had not heard those words4 ,yet1 under the stars on the doorstep of ,cuckoo's dwelling he1 too1 had spoken to the girl of a fight4 ,thus he had poured a great ardour into her heart4 ,the three souls1 ,cuckoo's1 ,doctor ,levillier's1 ,valentine's1 were thus set in battle array4 ,they understood what they faced1 or at least that they faced warfare4 ,only ,julian did not understand--yet4 ,he was besotted by the spell of the one he called friend laid upon him1 and by the vices in which he had been taught to wallow4 ,his brain was clouded and his eyes were dim1 as the brains and eyes of the malades imaginaires who carry on the scheme of sin and sorrow in the world1 and prolong by their deeds the long travail of their race4 ,julian did not understand4 ,for now he seldom thought sincerely4 ,sincere thoughts and the incessant and violent acts of passion do not often dwell together4 ,the progress of ,julian towards degradation had now become so rapid that his many acquaintances talked of him openly as of one who had practically gone under4 ,not that he had ever done any of those few things at which society1 whose door is generally ajar1 with ,mrs4 ,grundy's large ear glued to the keyhole1 resolutely shuts the door4 ,he had not forged1 or stolen a watch1 or killed anybody1 or married a grocer's widow1 or anything of that kind4 ,but he had thrown his life to the pleasures of the body1 and made no secret of the fact4 ,and the pleasures of the body1 like eager rats1 had gnawed away his power of self-control until he could resist nothing1 no wish of the moment1 no desire born illegitimately of passing excitement or the prompting of wine4 ,so he committed many follies1 and his follies had loud voices4 ,they shrieked and shouted4 ,and society heard their cries1 held the door a little more ajar1 and listened with that passion of attention which virtue accords to vice4 ,but society1 having heard a good deal1 shook its head over ,julian4 ,he had acquired such a taste for low company that he ought to have been born a peer4 ,certainly1 he had money4 ,that made his errors chink rather pleasantly1 and filled the bosoms of many mothers with an expansive charity towards him4 ,still1 the general opinion was that he was sinking very low4 ,in fact1 the legend of ,julian's shame was now written on his face in such legible and vital characters that the most short-sighted eyes could not fail to read it4 ,the eager beauty of untarnished youth had faded into the dull1 and often sulky1 languors of the utterly indulged body4 ,julian was often exhausted and passing through those leaden-footed dreams that fitfully entrance the vicious1--those dreams that are colourless and sombre1 that press upon all the faculties1 and yet have no real meaning1 that stifle all intentions1 and put an end1 for the moment1 to all active desires4 ,people talk of the vicious as living1 but half their time they are curiously dead1 for their sins blunt their energies and lull them into a condition that resembles rather paralysis than slumber4 ,since the night on which he had supped with ,valentine at the ,savoy1 ,julian had given himself up to the company and influence of his friend more than ever1 and ,london1 which had once nicknamed ,valentine the ,saint of ,victoria ,street1 began to dub him with quite another name4 ,for it gradually became apparent to those who only knew the two young men slightly that ,valentine exerted an extraordinarily powerful influence over ,julian1 and that the influence was imperatively evil4 ,at first many were deceived by the clear beauty of ,valentine's face1 but that was beginning to fade4 ,a thin line1 pencilled here and there with a fairylike delicacy1 a slight puffiness beneath the blue eyes1 a looseness of the cheeks1 a droop of the lips1 all very demure1 as it were1 and furtive1 shed alteration upon his fair beauty4 ,he himself noticed it1 as he looked in a mirror one night1 and silently cursed the inevitable effect which mind produces upon matter4 ,no man's face can forever remain an entirely deceptive mask4 ,the saintly expression of ,valentine's was rapidly becoming a thing of the past4 ,he wondered whether ,julian noticed it4 ,but ,julian was too much preoccupied with his own energies of dreary action and lacerating fatigues of subsequent thought1 or it would be truer to say moodiness1 to notice anything4 ,he was self-centred1 as are all sinners1 immersed in his own downfall1 like a man in an ocean4 ,he was unconscious that he was the subject of battle1 that four wills were to contend for his soul's sake4 ,four wills1 yet one expressed itself in no outward form4 ,it was in exile1 till the day of its redemption should dawn4 99 99 99 99 99 ,on the night when ,valentine heard ,julian babble incoherently the name of the lady of the feathers1 he said to himself that the battle should be his1 and he leaned upon his will to feel its power and its glory4 ,that night he forgot its fury1 the intense emotion that had overtaken him at the supper-table as he gauged1 or strove to gauge1 the influence that ,cuckoo was obtaining over ,julian4 ,he forgot ,doctor ,levillier4 ,he remembered only himself and his own strength1 which he was now to test to its foundations4 ,and when he woke again to thoughts of others1 it was only to laugh at the force arrayed against him4 ,the lady of the feathers moved1 to his fancy1 like the most piteous of puppets1 a jeering fate manipulating the strings4 ,this manipulator had kept her long to one set of motions1 stiff pleading arm1 anxious head1 interrogative joints1 and a strut of wolfish eagerness and hunger4 ,but such a game was now to be abandoned4 ,and behold the puppet a warrior forsooth1 a very ,amazon1 hounded to fight by the doctor's voice1 the doctor's word of encouragement1 battling with the stiff arms that had abandoned the pleading gesture1 stern in a wooden attitude of defiance4 ,and ,fate1 in fits of laughter at the string-holding6 ,then ,valentine lost his fear1 and could have been angry that such a scarecrow was the creature selected by ,fate to draw a sword against him4 ,he chose to forget the vision in the mirror when he struck at the staring reflection of the lady of the feathers and shivered under the influence of a cold terror4 ,he chose to remember only the thin and fearful woman who had given her body to the world1 and so had surely given her soul to a mill that had long ago ground it to powder4 ,there is nothing so terrible to one screwed up to the highest pitch of action as a monotony of waiting4 ,scourging were better1 the hemp or the fire4 ,the lady of the feathers had been stirred to a strange enthusiasm1 and to a belief in herself1 a faith more wonderful to some1 more unaccustomed and remote than any faith in ,god or devil4 ,a flood of energy flowed over her1 warm as blood1 strong as love1 keen with the salt of beautiful novelty1 turbulent as the seas when the great tides take hold on them4 ,it was to her as if for the moment the world's centre was just there where she was in the winter1 and in the ,marylebone ,road1 within sound of the great church clock1 the great church bells1 the cries of the street1 the very steam panting up from the ,baker ,street ,station4 ,cuckoo was in the core of things1 and the core of things is fierce and hot and action-prompting4 ,that half-revealed shadow waving good-bye to ,julian1 as he stepped into the frosty night1 was a shadow on fire4 ,yet he had scarcely looked back at it4 ,but ,cuckoo was to learn to the last word the lesson of patience4 ,inspired by the sympathy of the doctor and by something deep in her own heart1 she was1 for the moment1 all courage1 all flame4 ,she was ready to fight4 ,she was ready to do supreme things1 to touch the stars4 ,the stars went out and she had not touched them4 ,the morning dawned very chilly1 very dark1 the morning that brought ,mrs4 ,brigg to her room yellow and complaining4 ,still1 ,cuckoo was conscious of a high1 beating courage that made summer in that winter day4 ,she astonished the old keeper of that weary house by the vivacity of her manner1 the brightness of her look4 ,for ,mrs4 ,brigg was well accustomed to sad morning moods1 to petulant lassitude1 and dull grimness of unpainted and unpowdered fatigue1 but had long been a stranger to early moods of hope or of gaiety4 ,mornings in houses such as hers are recurring tragedies1 desolating pulses of ,time1 shaking human hearts with each beat nearer and nearer to the ultimatum of sorrow4 ,she knew not what to make of this new morning mood of ,cuckoo1 and wagged a heavily pensive head over it1 unresponsive and muttering4 ,jessie1 too1 was astonished1 but more pleasantly4 ,the little dog1 dwelling ignorantly in the midst of degradation1 had learned quickly the swing of its beloved mistress's moods4 ,in the dim morning it was ever the comforter of misery it could not rightly understand1 not the playfellow of happiness that stirred it to leaps and barks of wonder and excitement4 ,in the mornings ,cuckoo held it long against her thin bosom1 sometimes crushed it nearly breathless1 pushing its little head down in the nest of her arms and telling it a tale of the world's woe that sent long and thin whimpers twittering through its body4 ,the fluttering whisper of morning misery1 or the silence of vacant fatigue1 these were accustomed things to ,jessie4 ,even if she did not thoroughly understand them1 she was ready for them1 and eagerly responsive1 as dogs are1 to emotions along whose verges they tread with the soft feet of sympathy1 the sweeter for the ignorance that paints their generosity in such tender colours4 ,but ,jessie was bouleverse by this passionate1 eager ,cuckoo2 this shadow on fire1 who was alive almost ere ,london was alive1 instead of half dead until half ,london slept4 ,the shadow on fire snatched her out of her sleep1 tossed her in air1 spoke to her with a voice that thrilled her to quick barking excitement1 played with her till the little dog's flux of emotions threatened to consummate in a canine apoplexy1 and ,mrs4 ,brigg battered at the door with a shrill1 ,keep that beast quiet1 can't yer8 ,all this was ,cuckoo fighting2 battle in the bedclothes1 battle with soap and water1 curling-pins1 corset1 shoes4 ,each little act was performed with an energy it did not demand4 ,the sponge was squeezed dry like a live thing being strangled2 the toothbrush played as ,maxim guns on an enemy2 buttons went into button-holes with a manner of ramrods going into muskets2 hooks met eyes as one army meets another4 ,battle in all that morning's common tasks1 setting them high1 dressing them with chivalry and strong endeavour4 ,cuckoo went into her sitting-room swiftly1 with glowing cheeks and flaming eyes1 as one ardently expectant4 ,and then--8 ,mrs4 ,brigg had lit the fire1 but it had spluttered out into a mass of blackened1 ghostly paper and skeleton sticks4 ,a little more battle in the relighting of it4 ,but then--the blank day of the girl of the streets4 ,cuckoo sat down1 watched the growing fire1 and wondered what she had expected4 ,she was conscious that she had expected something1 and something not small4 ,her mood had demanded it4 ,but our moods are often like disappointed brigands1 who1 having waylaid a pauper1 demand with levelled pistols that which the pauper has so vainly prayed for all his life4 ,moods come from within4 ,they are not evoked to dance valses with suitable partners from without4 ,and so ,cuckoo's strong excitement and energy found nothing to dance with4 ,she sat there growing gradually less alive1 and wondering why she had hastened to get up2 why she was fully dressed instead of wrapped in the usual staring pink dressing-gown with the chiffon cascades down the front4 ,mornings were of no use to her--never had been4 ,god might as well never have included them in the scheme of ,his days1 so far as she was concerned4 ,but this morning she had thought1 had felt--it seemed impossible that she should feel so unusual and that nothing should happen4 ,she was ready1 but ,fate was in bed and asleep4 ,that was really the gist of the feeling that came over her4 ,she thought of ,dr4 ,levillier1 the man who had set a torch at last to her nature and fired it with a new ardour4 ,he was at his work in the morning1 seeing1 speaking to1 that passing line of strangers1 who walked on forever through his life4 ,his energies were employed4 ,perhaps he had forgotten ,cuckoo and her empty mornings4 ,almost for the first time in her life the lady of the feathers definitely longed for a legitimate occupation4 ,how she could have flown at it to-day4 ,but already the bright mood was fading4 ,it could not last in such an atmosphere4 ,as ,cuckoo had said1 she could fight better than she could pray4 ,but it seemed to her1 after a while1 that there was only room in this cheerless1 dark house to pray1 no room at all to fight4 ,she tried reading yesterday's evening paper1 left on the horsehair sofa by ,julian4 ,but reading had never been a favourite occupation of hers1 and to-day she wanted to save ,julian1 to make him love her1 and so to win him from ,valentine4 ,she did not want to sit in the twilight of a winter's day reading about people she had never seen1 things she did not understand4 ,and she threw the paper down4 ,to make ,julian love her4 ,cuckoo flushed1 yes1 even sitting there quite alone1 for ,jessie had retired to the warmth of the bedroom blankets1 as she said it in her mind4 ,the doctor had told her to do so4 ,her heart had told her to try to do it long ago4 ,but she trusted the doctor and she did not trust her heart4 ,and how could she trust her power to make ,julian love her8 ,cuckoo had once known very well how to make a man desire her4 ,in the very early days of her career she had been a very pretty girl4 ,her old mother1 who believed her dead1 had often cried and said to the neighbours that her beauty had been ,cuckoo's undoing4 ,thus do we lay blame on the few fine gifts that should gild our lives4 ,but ,cuckoo had been very pretty and had soon learnt the first foul lesson of her mtier1 to wake swift desire4 ,as time went on and she wasted her gift of beauty along the pavements of ,london1 she found this poor power failing in strength and in certainty4 ,as to the power of wakening that slower1 deeper1 kindred1 yet opposed desire of love1 ,cuckoo had never known whether she possessed it4 ,she had had many lovers1 but nobody to love her really1 and this in days of her beauty1 or at any rate her gracious prettiness4 ,no wonder1 then1 that now a chill ran over her at the thought of the task that lay before her if she was to gain her battle4 ,to break ,valentine's influence she had to make ,julian love her4 ,how8 ,instinctively1 and with a sense of horror1 she knew that her usual practised arts1 instead of helping1 almost fatally handicapped her now4 ,she loved ,julian purely1 so purely that she could not endure that he should meet her degradation as he had met it on that one night she never thought of but with repentance4 ,yet to her ignorance1 to her1 rising towards purity now1 yet ever steeped in the coarsest knowledge1 it seemed that the thing called love could hardly utter itself save by some threadbare blandishment1 or parrot combination of words1 used each night by a hundred women of the town4 ,cuckoo knew no language of love that was not1 so to say1 bad language1 inasmuch as it was used by those whom she hated4 ,and hitherto she had been content to keep her love for ,julian a silent love1 except on the few occasions when she had obliquely showed it by the anger of jealousy or of reproach4 ,she wished nothing bodily from him1 or if she did1 stifled the wish in the mutely repeated record of her own unworthiness4 ,but now1 if she was to draw his soul to hers1 she must move forward1 she must surely commit some sacrifice1 perform some deed4 ,what deed could she perform8 ,what sacrifice could she make that would win upon him1 that would alter his relation towards her from one of eccentric friendship to one of affection that might even be governed8 ,the lady of the feathers did not reason this all out in her mind as she sat before the spluttering fire1 but she felt it1 a tangled mass of thoughts1 catching her brain as in a net1 catching her life as in a net too4 ,how could she make ,julian love her8 ,what could she do8 ,and all the time1 as she asked herself passionately that question1 the hours were gliding by towards the evening refrain of her life4 ,cuckoo began to consider this evening refrain as she had never considered it before1 as it might affect another if he loved her4 ,if she made ,julian love her1 if she succeeded in this attempt that seemed as if it must be impossible1 what of her evening refrain then8 ,and what would be the conclusion of such a love8 ,she could not tell2 she could only wonder4 ,the strange thing about the lady of the feathers1 and about many of her kind1 was1 that she never dreamed of such a thing as owing a duty to herself1 to her own body1 her own soul1 or nature4 ,cuckoo knew not the meaning of self-respect4 ,had you told her that her body was a temple--not of the ,holy ,ghost1 but of a wonderful1 exquisite thing called womanhood1 and for that reason should not be defiled1 she would have stared at you under drawn eyebrows1 like a fierce boy1 and wondered what in heaven or earth you were talking jargon about4 ,to get at her sympathy you must talk to her of duty to another2 and if she had a soft feeling for that other1 then she understood you1 and then alone4 ,it was the cause of ,julian and his safety that made her now consider this evening refrain of her life as she sat there4 ,and her mind ran back to ,julian's first visit to her and to his first request4 ,he asked her to stay at home just for one night with ,jessie4 ,and she refused4 ,if she had not refused4 ,if she had stayed at home4 ,if she had at that moment1 from that moment1 given up her life of the street1 would ,julian have loved her then8 ,would she have been able to do something for him8 ,for hours ,cuckoo sat there pondering in her vague1 desolate way over questions such as these4 ,but she could give no answer to them4 ,and then she thought of that horrible night when the hours danced to the music of the devil1 when she gave ,julian that first little impetus which started him on his journey to the abyss4 ,and at that thought she grew white1 and she grew hot1 and she wondered why she had been born to be the lady of the feathers1 and the wrecker1 not of men's lives--she never thought of men tenderly in the mass--but of this one life1 of this one man1 whom she loved in a strange1 wild1 good-woman way4 ,c-r-r-r6 she said1 her tongue flickering against her teeth4 ,jessie stirred in the blankets1 came to the floor with a t'bb and ran into the room with curved attitudes of submission4 ,but ,cuckoo would not notice the little dog4 ,she stared at the fire and looked so old1 and almost intellectual4 ,but there was nobody to see her4 ,what a long1 empty day it had been1 this day for which she had risen eagerly as to a day of battle6 ,what a long1 empty day1 and no deed done in it4 ,and now the hour of the evening refrain was come4 ,cuckoo had wanted this day to be a special day1 for it was the first of those new days which were to come after the doctor's word of hope4 ,and nothing had happened in it4 ,nobody had come4 ,the doctor was with his patients4 ,julian was--ah1 surely--with ,valentine4 ,and she1 ,cuckoo1 this poor1 pale girl1 who wanted to fight and to do battle1 was alone4 ,and she had been so eager in the morning4 ,and now the night was falling and she had not struck a blow4 ,the hour chimed4 ,it was the hour of the evening refrain4 ,suddenly ,cuckoo got up4 ,she went over to the window and pulled down the blind so sharply that she nearly broke it4 ,she struck a match violently and lit the gas4 ,she ran into the bedroom1 caught her hat1 which lay ready for service on the top of the chest of drawers1 and cast it with a crash into a cardboard box1 jamming the lid down on it4 ,she seized her jacket1 which lay on the bed1 and strung it up on a hook1 as if she were hanging a criminal4 ,then she came back into the sitting-room1 sat down in the chair1 took up the evening paper of yesterday and began to read1 with eyes that gleamed under frowning brows1 about ,foreign ,affairs and ,bimetallism4 ,and that night the evening refrain of ,cuckoo's life did not follow the verse of her day4 ,she sat there all alone4 ,it was her way--the only way she could devise--of beginning to fight the battle for ,julian4 ,she did not stay at home with any thought of purifying herself by the action4 ,another day she might go out as usual4 ,but ,julian had once asked her not to go4 ,she had gone then4 ,now she obeyed him1 and the obedience seemed to bring him a little nearer to her4 ,,chapter ,x ,,the ,,doctor ,,drives ,,out ,,with ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,some days later ,cuckoo received a telegram from ,harley ,street4 ,it came in the morning1 and ran as follows3 ,call here to-day if possible4 ,important4 ,levillier4 ,cuckoo read it1 trembling4 ,in her early days telegrams came often to her door--,meet me at ,verrey's1 four-thirty2 ,piccadilly ,circus1 five o'clock to-day4 ,such messages flickered through her youth1 forming gradually a legend of her life4 ,but this summons from the doctor at the same time frightened her and braced her heart4 ,it might mean that ,julian was ill1 in danger--she knew not what4 ,but at least it broke through the appalling inaction1 the dreary stagnation1 of her days4 ,the lady of the feathers had fought indeed1 of late1 that worst enemy1 mental despair1 bred of grim patience at last grown weary4 ,that was not the battle she had been inspired to expect1 to prepare for4 ,the doctor's telegram at least swept the unforeseen foe from the field1 and seemed to set the real enemy full in view4 ,there ain't any answer1 the lady of the feathers said to ,mrs4 ,brigg1 who waited in an attitude expressive of greedy curiosity4 ,which of 'em is it8 demanded that functionary4 ,shan't tell you1 ,cuckoo hissed at her4 ,the filthy groove in which the landlady's mind forever ran began to rouse her to an intense animosity4 ,well1 it's all one to me so long as ,i'm paid regular1 muttered ,mrs4 ,brigg1 with a swing of her dusty skirts and a toss of her grey head1 governed by pomade1 since it was a ,saturday4 ,mrs4 ,brigg must once have held ,christian principles1 as she always prepared the ground for certain ,sabbath curls the day before4 ,cuckoo ran to dress herself4 ,it was seldom indeed that she stirred out in the morning1 so seldom that that alone was an experience4 ,arrived in the bedroom1 she pounced mechanically on rouge and powder1 and was about to decorate herself when she suddenly paused with outstretched hands4 ,she was going out into the bright wintry sunlight1 and she was going to the doctor's house1 full1 perhaps1 of those smart patients of whom ,valentine had once spoken to her4 ,what sort of an apparition would she be among them8 ,she dropped her hands1 hesitating4 ,then she turned to a cupboard1 drew out the one famous black gown1 and put it on4 ,she crowned her head with ,julian's hat1 hid her hands in black silk gloves1 pulled down her veil and seized an umbrella4 ,somehow ,cuckoo vaguely connected respectability with umbrellas1 although even the most vicious are fain to carry them in showery ,london4 ,then she looked at herself in the glass and wondered if her appearance were deceptive enough to trick the sharp eyes of the patients4 ,the glance reassured her4 ,she seemed to herself an epitome of black propriety1 and she set forth with a more easy heart4 ,as she walked1 her mind ran on before1 seeking what this summons meant and debating possibilities without arriving at conclusions4 ,at the end of ,harley ,street her walk1 which had been rapid1 achieved a ritardando and nearly came to a full close before she gained the doctor's door4 ,cuckoo could be a brazen hussy4 ,a year ago she could scarcely be anything else4 ,but that love of hers for ,julian had1 it seemed1 a strange power of undermining old habits4 ,it laid hands upon so many perceptions1 so many emotions1 with which it should surely have had nothing to do1 and made subtle inroads upon every dark corner of the girl's nature4 ,from it came this ritardando4 ,for ,cuckoo was filled with a very human dread of exposing ,doctor ,levillier to misconception by her appearance in the midst of his patients4 ,had it been late afternoon instead of morning her fortitude would certainly have been greater1 and might even have drawn near to impudence4 ,but the clear light of approaching noontide set her mind blinking with rapid eyelids1 and when she actually gained the street door her discomfort was acute4 ,as she put up her hand to touch the bell the door opened softly and a stout ,duchess issued forth4 ,cuckoo didn't know she was a ,duchess1 but she quailed before the plethoric glance cast upon her1 and her voice was uneven as she asked for the doctor4 ,have you an appointment1 ma'am8 asked ,lawler1 who did not recognize her behind her black veil4 ,i was asked to come1 ,cuckoo murmured4 ,what name1 ma'am8 ,cuck--,miss ,bright4 ,she was admitted4 ,the doctor1 in a hurry of business1 had omitted to give ,lawler any instructions in the event of ,cuckoo's prompt response to his telegram4 ,so she was shown into the waiting-room1 in which three or four people were turning over illustrated papers with an air of watchful idleness and attentive leisure4 ,cuckoo sat down in a corner as quietly as possible1 and ,lawler vanished4 ,the leaves of the illustrated papers rustled in the air with a dry sound4 ,to ,cuckoo they seemed to be crackling personal remarks about her1 and to be impregnated with condemnation4 ,she cast a furtive glance upon the square room and perceived that they were returned by four ladies1 and that three of these ladies were looking straight at her4 ,the eight eyes met in a glance of inquiry and were instantly cast down4 ,again the leaves of the illustrateds rustled1 this time1 ,cuckoo felt convinced1 more fiercely than before4 ,the frou-frou of the skirts of one of the ladies joined in the chorus1 which was far from crying ,hallelujah6 ,cuckoo began to feel a growing certainty that1 despite the black veil and the neat umbrella1 feminine instinct had divined her4 ,she was totally unaccustomed to such an atmosphere as that which prevailed in this room1 and began to be the victim of an odd1 prickly sensation1 which she believed to be physical1 but which was certainly more than half moral4 ,a wave of heat ran over her body4 ,it was like the heat which follows on a received slap4 ,one of the illustrateds deleted its voice from the general chorus4 ,cuckoo was aware of this1 and looked up again to find two eyes fixed upon her with an expression of thin distaste that was incapable of misinterpretation4 ,a second illustrated ceased to sing1 two heads were inclined towards one another1 and the t'p1 t'p1 t'p of a low whisper set the remaining two ladies at their posts as sentinels on the lady of the feathers4 ,cuckoo put her hand to her face to pull her veil a little lower down4 ,by accident she tugged too hard1 or it had been badly fastened to her hat1 for one side got loose instantly and it fell down1 revealing her face frankly4 ,the t'p1 t'p1 t'p sounded again1 multiplied by two4 ,cuckoo1 thrown into confusion by the malign behaviour of her veil1 caught awkwardly at the dropped end with an intention of readjusting it1 but something in the sound of the whispering suddenly moved her to a different action4 ,she snatched the veil quite off1 set her feet firmly against the thick ,turkey carpet1 raised her eyes and stared with all her might at the four ladies1 hurling1 as a man hurls a bomb1 an expression of savage defiance into her gaze4 ,the whispers stopped2 a thin and repeated cough1 dry as ,sahara1 attacked the silence1 and eight eyes were vehemently cast down4 ,cuckoo continued staring1 folding her hands in her lap4 ,the prickly sensation increased1 but she considered it now as a thing to be jumped on4 ,recognizing that she was recognized1 she was instantly moved to play up to her part1 and she longed to stare the four women out into ,harley ,street4 ,if the energy of a gaze could have achieved that object1 they must have backed through the doctor's plate glass into the area forthwith4 ,they were1 in fact1 most obviously moved1 and their attitudes expressed1 by a community of lines1 virtue rampant and agitation gules4 ,a shattering silence endured till ,lawler appeared to bid two of these virgins with lit lamps of self-righteousness to the consulting-room4 ,as they rose the two other ladies rose also and followed in their wake4 ,lawler politely protested1 but they were now to proclaim their beauty of character4 ,we should prefer to wait in another room1 said the lady who had coughed as a communication with heaven4 ,yes1 another room1 added the other1 and as she spoke she half turned1 indicating the corner where ,cuckoo sat4 ,without a word ,lawler showed them out and closed the door4 ,for another twenty minutes ,cuckoo sat alone1 glaring at the table by which these members of her sex had sat1 and seeing no material objects but only--as is the way of humanity--her own point of view4 ,the ladies saw only theirs4 ,in this respect1 at least1 they closely resembled the lady of the feathers4 ,when ,lawler at length returned with his grave3 ,this way1 if you please1 ma'am1 ,cuckoo rose to her feet with the inflexibility of some iron thing set in motion by mechanism1 and marched in his wake to the doctor's presence4 ,the doctor was standing up by a bright fire2 he looked very grave4 ,i am very sorry to have kept you1 he said1 very sorry4 ,i did not think you could get here so quickly4 ,cuckoo cleared her throat4 ,i wish ,i hadn't1 she answered bluntly4 ,why8 ,it don't matter4 ,i started directly your wire came4 ,that was good of you4 ,please sit down4 ,cuckoo sat with a straight back in the straightest chair she could perceive4 ,the doctor still remained standing by the fire4 ,he appeared to be thinking deeply4 ,his eyes looked downward at his gaily shining boots4 ,after a minute or two he said3 ,i speak to you now in strict confidence1 trusting your secrecy implicitly4 ,the back of ,cuckoo became less straight4 ,even a gentle curve made it more gracious if less admirable from the dancing-mistress point of view4 ,honour6 she interjected rapidly1 like a schoolboy4 ,the doctor looked up at her and a smile came to his lips4 ,and as he looked up he noticed the neatness of her black gown1 the simplicity of her hat1 the absence of paint and powder4 ,being1 after all1 only a man1 he was surprised at ,cuckoo's appearance of propriety4 ,the four ladies had been surprised at her appearance of impropriety4 ,but the doctor1 seeing her so much better than usual1 thought her--in looks--quite well1 as indeed she was in comparison with the tout ensemble of her usual days4 ,he looked from her black gloves1 which held the thick black veil1 to the winter sunshine sparkling1 like a dancing1 eager child1 at the window4 ,do you like driving8 he said4 ,what8 ,driving--do you like it8 ,pretty well1 if the horse don't come down1 said ,cuckoo1 at once concentrated on cabs4 ,my horses won't4 ,yours6 ,yes4 ,i have no more patients to-day4 ,i have a half-holiday and ,i want to talk to you4 ,shall we go for a drive to ,hampstead and talk out in the open air and the sunshine8 ,the four ladies1 the illustrateds1 the cough1 dry as ,sahara1 were instantly forgotten4 ,cuckoo became all curves1 almost like ,jessie in moments of supreme emotion4 ,me and you8 she exclaimed4 ,oh yes6 ,the doctor rang the bell4 ,take this lady to the dining-room and give her some lunch1 he said to ,lawler4 ,and please order the victoria round at once4 ,yes1 sir4 ,while you lunch1 he said to ,cuckoo1 ,i'll just get through two letters that must be written1 and then we'll start4 ,cuckoo followed ,lawler with a sense of airy wonder and delight4 ,a quarter of an hour later she was seated with the doctor in the victoria1 the veil tightly stretched across her face1 her poor mode of living up to his trust in her1 and deserving the honour now conferred upon her4 ,the coachman let his horses go1 and ,harley ,street was left behind4 ,such a bright day it was4 ,even the cold seemed a gay and festive thing1 spinning the circulation like a gold coin till it glittered1 decorating the poorest cheeks with the brightest rose as if in honour of a festival4 ,to ,cuckoo ,london1 as seen from a private carriage1 was a wonder and a dream of novelty1 a city of kings instead of a city of beggars1 a city of crystal morning instead of a city of dreadful night4 ,she gazed at it out of a new heart as these horses--that never came down--trotted briskly forward4 ,through the silk of her gloves her thumbs and fingers felt silently the warm sables of the rug that caressed her knees4 ,and she thought that this feeling1 and the feeling in her heart1 must be constituent parts of the emotion called happiness4 ,if the four ladies could see her now6 ,if they could see her now1 ,cuckoo thought1 she would take off her veil1 just for a moment4 ,when the aspect of the street began to change1 when little gardens appeared1 and bare trees standing bravely in the sun behind high walls and iron gates1 the doctor said to ,cuckoo3 ,now ,i will tell you why ,i telegraphed to you4 ,and then ,cuckoo remembered that she was in this wonderful expedition for a reason4 ,the doctor continued speaking in a low voice1 with the obvious intention of being inaudible to the coachman1 whose large furred back presented an appearance of broad indifference to their two lives4 ,you remember what ,i said to you the other day--that perhaps you could help ,julian from great evil4 ,cuckoo nodded earnestly4 ,and you are prepared to do anything you can8 ,yes4 ,she had forgotten the smart carriage1 and the horses that never came down1 now4 ,good1 said the doctor1 shortly and decisively4 ,i will speak to you quite plainly to-day1 for something leads me to trust you1 and to say to you what ,i would say to no other person4 ,something leads me to believe that you can do more for ,addison than any one else4 ,addison once implied it2 but what ,i have observed for myself in your house leads me to be certain of it4 ,oh1 said ,cuckoo4 ,she had nothing more to say4 ,she could have said nothing more4 ,the stress of her excitement was too great4 ,look at that holly tree4 ,what a quantity of berries it has6 the doctor said4 ,that's because it is a hard winter4 ,miss ,bright1 you are right in you conviction4 ,valentine ,cresswell is--has been--totally evil1 and is deliberately1 coldly1 but with determination1 compassing the utter ruin of the man who trusts him and believes in him--of ,addison4 ,cuckoo nodded again1 this time with a strangely matter-of-course air1 which assured the doctor in a flash of the long certainty of her knowledge of ,valentine4 ,such a thing seemed to me entirely incredible1 the doctor pursued4 ,i am forced--forced--to believe it is true4 ,but remember this3 ,i have known ,mr4 ,cresswell for several years intimately4 ,i have been again and again with him and ,julian4 ,i have noticed the extraordinary influence he had over ,julian1 and ,i know that influence used to be a noble influence1 used solely for good4 ,mr4 ,cresswell was a man of extraordinary high-mindedness and purity of life4 ,he had a brilliant intellect1 the doctor continued1 forgetting to whom he was talking1 as his mind went back to the ,valentine of the old days4 ,but1 far more than that1 he was born with a very wonderful and unusual nature4 ,it was written in his face in the grandeur--,i can call it nothing else--of his expression4 ,and it was written in his life1 in all his acts4 ,but1 most of all it was written in all he did for ,julian4 ,ah1 you look surprised6 ,indeed ,cuckoo's face1 such of it as was visible under the black shadow of the veil1 was a mask of blank wonderment4 ,she looked upon the doctor as all that was clever and perfect and extraordinary2 so this1 it seemed to her1 idiocy of his outlook upon ,valentine was too much for her manner4 ,well1 ,i never6 ,him6 she could not help ejaculating with a long breath1 that was almost like a little puff4 ,remember1 said ,dr4 ,levillier1 this was before you knew him4 ,he had taken the trouble to ascertain from ,julian the exact date of ,valentine's first introduction to the lady of the feathers4 ,oh yes1 said ,cuckoo1 still with absolute incredulity of the truth of the doctor's panegyric expressed in voice and look4 ,men change greatly1 terribly4 ,oh1 not like that1 she jerked out suddenly1 moved by an irresistible impulse to contradict his apparent deduction4 ,no1 there you are right1 he answered with emphasis4 ,sane men do not1 can never1 ,i believe1 change so utterly4 ,that's what ,i say4 ,i've seen men go down1 lots of 'em1 but it ain't like that4 ,cuckoo spoke with some authority1 as of one speaking from depths of a deep experience4 ,she put her hands under the warm rug with a sensation of something that was like dignity of mind4 ,she and the doctor were talking on equal terms of intellectuality just at this moment4 ,she was saying sensible things and he was obliged to agree with her4 ,not like that1 she murmured again out of the embrace of the rug4 ,he turned towards her so that he could see her more distinctly and make his words more impressive4 ,remember now that what ,i am going to say to you must not be mentioned to ,julian on any account1 or to any one1 he said4 ,i'll remember4 ,honour4 ,i'll never tell4 ,i have a very sad theory to explain this great change in ,mr4 ,cresswell1 from what he was as ,i knew him1 and you must take his beauty of character from me--to what he is as you and ,i know him now4 ,i believe that he has become mad4 ,for the doctor had resolutely put away from his mind the fancies called up in it by the visit of ,marr's wife4 ,cuckoo gave a little cry of surprise1 then hastily glanced at the coachman's back and pushed her hands under the rug up towards her mouth4 ,hush1 said the doctor4 ,only listen quietly4 ,yes1 pardon1 she said4 ,but he ain't--oh1 he can't be4 ,i am forced to think it1 forced to think it1 the doctor said1 with pressure4 ,he has1 in great measure1 one of the most common1 most universal1 of the fatuous beliefs of the insane1--a deep-rooted1 an almost incredible belief in himself1 in his own glory1 power1 will1 personality4 ,cuckoo tried to throw in some remark here1 but he went on without a pause3 ,there are madmen confined in asylums all over ,england who think themselves the ,messiah--this is the commonest form of religious mania--emperors1 kings1 regenerators of the human race1 doers of great deeds that must bring them everlasting fame4 ,on all other points they are sane1 and you might spend hours alone with them and never discover the one crank in their mind that makes the whole mind out of joint4 ,so you have been alone with ,mr4 ,cresswell and have not suspected him4 ,yet he has a madness1 and it is this madness which leads him to this frightful conduct of his towards ,julian1 conduct which you will never know the extent of4 ,here ,cuckoo succeeded in getting in a remark3 ,will1 she said1 catching hold of that one word and beginning to look eager4 ,that's what he was at all the time he was talking to me that night4 ,will1 he says1 is this and that and the other2 will1 he says1 is everythin'1 ,i remember4 ,will1 he says1 is my ,god1 or somethin' like it4 ,he did4 ,he did4 ,ah6 you see2 even you have noticed it4 ,yes2 but he ain't mad1 though1 ,cuckoo concluded1 with an echo of that obstinacy which she could never completely conquer4 ,she said what she felt4 ,she could not help it4 ,the doctor was in no wise offended by this unskilled opinion opposed to his skilled one4 ,he even smiled slightly4 ,why do you say that8 he asked4 ,he's too sharp4 ,he's a sight too sharp4 ,madmen are very cunning4 ,so are women1 ,cuckoo exclaimed4 ,i could see if a man was mad4 ,she was a little intoxicated with the swift motion1 the bright sun1 the keen air1 the clang of the horse's hoofs on the hard roads1 and1 most of all1 with this conference which the befurred coachman was on no account to hear4 ,this made her hold fast to her opinion1 with no thought of being rude or presuming4 ,the doctor1 accustomed to have duchesses and others hanging upon his words of wisdom1 was whipped into a refreshed humour by this odd attitude of an ignorant girl1 and he replied with extreme vivacity3 ,you will think as ,i do one day4 ,meanwhile listen to me4 ,when ,mr4 ,cresswell came to you and broke out into this tirade1 which you say you remember1 on the subject of will1 did he not show any excitement8 ,eh8 ,did he get excited1 very hot and eager8 ,did he speak unusually loud1 or make any curious gestures with his hands8 ,did he do anything1 that you can remember1 such as an ordinary man would not do8 ,why1 yes1 ,cuckoo answered4 ,so he did4 ,ah6 ,what was it8 ,what did he do8 ,well1 after he'd been talkin' a bit he caught hold of me and pulled me in front of the glass4 ,see8 ,yes1 yes4 ,and he made me look into it4 ,what for8 ,but at this point ,cuckoo got restive4 ,i--,i can't remember1 she murmured1 almost sullenly1 recalling ,valentine's bitter sarcasms on her appearance and way of life4 ,never mind1 then4 ,leave that4 ,but after2 what came next8 ,while we was standin' like that he seemed to get frightened or somethin'1 like he saw somethin' in the glass4 ,he was frightened1 scared1 and he hit out all on a sudden1 just where my face was in the glass1 and smashed it4 ,smashed the glass8 ,yes4 ,and then he snatched hold of me and looked in my eyes awful queer1 and then he burst out laughin' and says as the mirror was tellin' him lies4 ,that's all4 ,he was perfectly sober8 ,oh1 he hadn't been on the booze4 ,sober and did that1 and then you can tell me that there is no madness in him4 ,the doctor spoke almost in a bantering tone1 but ,cuckoo stuck to her guns4 ,i don't think it1 she said1 with her under lip sticking out4 ,well1 ,miss ,bright1 ,i want you to assume something4 ,what's that8 ,to pretend to yourself that you think something1 whether you do really think it or not4 ,make believe6 cried ,cuckoo1 childishly4 ,exactly4 ,what about8 ,i want you to 'make believe' that ,mr4 ,cresswell is not himself--is not sane4 ,o-oh-h6 said ,cuckoo1 with a long intonation of surprise4 ,i do honestly believe it2 you are to pretend to believe it4 ,now1 remember that4 ,all right4 ,you are not to contradict any more1 you see4 ,oh1 began ,cuckoo1 in sudden distress4 ,pardon4 ,i didn't-- ,hush6 ,that's all right4 ,act with me on the make-believe or assumption that ,mr4 ,cresswell is not himself at present4 ,ah1 but that ain't no make-believe4 ,he told me as he wasn't himself when he says1 ',i am ,marr4' ,yes--yes1 said the doctor4 ,secretly1 almost angrily1 he said to himself that ,valentine1 in some access of insanity1 had actually confessed to the lady of the feathers that he knew himself to be mad4 ,he says he ain't himself1 she repeated again1 with an eager feeling that perhaps1 at last1 she had got at the right interpretation of the gospel of ,valentine4 ,that is practically the same thing as his saying to you that he was mad4 ,now you have told me what you feel for ,julian4 ,cuckoo flushed1 and muttered something unintelligible1 twining her hands in the sables till she nearly pulled them from ,doctor ,levillier's knees4 ,and you have seen the terrible change that has come over him1 and that is fast1 fast deepening to something that must end in utter ruin4 ,you have not seen him these last few days1 ,i think4 ,no1 said ,cuckoo1 her eyes fixed hungrily on the doctor's face4 ,she began to tug at her veil4 ,what's it8 ,is he--is he8 ,she collapsed into a nervous silence1 still tugging with a futile hand at the veil1 which remained implacably stretched across her face4 ,the doctor looked at her1 and said steadily3 ,he has gone a little further--down4 ,you understand me8 ,i ought to1 she said1 bitterly4 ,as you are mounting upward1 the doctor rejoined1 with a kind and firm gravity that seemed indeed to lift ,cuckoo1 as a sweet wind lifts a feather and sends it on high4 ,the bitterness went out of her face1 but she said nothing1 only sat listening attentively while the doctor went on3 ,my belief is this1 and if you hold it you can perhaps act in this matter with more boldness1 more fearlessness1 than if you do not hold it4 ,i believe that ,mr4 ,cresswell1 who played very foolish tricks with his nerves some time ago1 just before he got to know you1 has become mad to this extent1 that he believes himself to have a power of will unlike that possessed by any other man1--an inhuman power1 in fact4 ,he fancies that he has the will of a sort of god1 and he wishes to prove this to himself more especially4 ,everything is for self in a madman4 ,now he looks about for a means of proving that his will can do everything4 ,he wants to make it do something extraordinary1 uncommon4 ,what does he find for it to do8 ,this1 the ruin of ,julian4 ,and now ,i'll tell you why this ruin of ,julian would be a peculiar triumph for his will4 ,originally1 when ,cresswell was sane and splendid1 his splendour of sanity guarded ,julian from all that was dangerous4 ,julian was naturally inclined to be wild4 ,he has an ardent nature1 and five years ago1 when he was a mere boy1 might have fallen into a thousand follies4 ,cresswell's influence first kept him from these follies1 and at last taught him to loathe and despise them4 ,and ,julian1 remember this1 told ,cresswell at last that he had been to him a sort of saviour4 ,you can follow me8 ',m1 ,cuckoo ejaculated with shut mouth and a nod of her head4 ,so that ,cresswell knew what his will had been able to do in the direction of lifting ,julian high up1 almost above his nature4 ,well1 then followed certain foolish practices which ,i need not describe4 ,cresswell and ,julian joined in a certain trickery1 often practised by people who call themselves spiritualists and occultists4 ,it certainly had an effect upon them at the time1 and ,i advised them earnestly to drop it4 ,they disregarded my advice1 and the result was that ,mr4 ,cresswell fell into an extraordinary condition of body4 ,he fell into a trance1 became as if he were dead1 and remained so for some hours on a certain night4 ,i was called in to him1 and actually thought that he was dead4 ,but he revived4 ,now1 ,i believe that though he seemed to recover1 and did recover in body1 he never recovered from that insensibility in mind4 ,i believe he went into that sleep sane and came out of it mad1 and that he remains mad to this moment4 ,certainly1 ever since then he has been an altered man1 the man you know1 not at all the man he used to be4 ,since that night he1 who used to be almost unconscious of the wonder of his own will1 has become intensely self-conscious1 and engrossed with it1 and has wished to make it obey him and perform miracles4 ,and what is the special miracle to which he is devoting himself at this moment1 as you have observed8 ,just this3 the ruin of the thing he originally saved4 ,it is like this1 he said1 noting that ,cuckoo was becoming puzzled and confused1 ,cresswell1 by his influence1 made ,julian loathe sin4 ,coming out of this trance1 as ,i believe1 a madman1 he seeks to make his will do something extraordinary4 ,what shall he make it do8 ,his eyes fall on ,julian1 who is always with him1 as you know4 ,and he resolves to make ,julian love what he has taught him to loathe--sin1 vice1 degradation of every kind4 ,so he sets to work with all the cunning of a diseased mind1 and hour by hour1 day by day1 he works for this horrible end4 ,at first he is quiet and careful4 ,but at last he becomes almost intoxicated as he sees his own success4 ,and he allows himself to be led into outbreaks of triumph4 ,one of those outbreaks you yourself seem to have witnessed4 ,i have witnessed another--on the night ,i dined alone with ,cresswell1 when he killed the dog1 ,rip1 and threw him out into the snow4 ,cresswell is intoxicated with the mental intoxication of mania1 at the degradation into which his will has forced ,julian1 who had learnt to love him1 to think that everything he did must be right4 ,and this intoxication is leading him to excesses4 ,it is my firm belief that he intends to drag ,julian down into intolerable abysses of sin1 to plunge him into utter ruin1 to bring him perhaps to prison1 and to death4 ,cuckoo was listening now with a white face--even her lips looked almost grey4 ,the sunshine still lay over the winter world4 ,the horses trotted4 ,the sables were warm about her4 ,they had nearly left the city behind them and were gaining the heights1 on which the air was keener and more life-giving1 and from which the outlook was larger and more inspiring4 ,but the girl's gaiety and almost wild sense of vivacity and protectedness had vanished4 ,for the doctor's face and voice had become grave1 and his words were weighty with a conviction1 which1 added to her own knowledge of ,julian and ,valentine1 made her fears unutterable4 ,as the doctor paused she opened her lips as if to speak1 but she said nothing4 ,he could not but perceive the cloud that had settled on her1 and his manner quickly changed4 ,a brightness1 a hopefulness1 illumined his face1 and he said quickly3 ,this tragedy is what you and ,i1 but you especially1 must prevent4 ,then ,cuckoo spoke at last3 ,how ever8 she said4 ,remember this1 he answered4 ,if ,cresswell is mad we must pity him1 not condemn him4 ,but we must1 above all1 fight him4 ,could ,i prove his madness the danger would be averted8 ,possibly time will give me the means of proving it4 ,i have watched him4 ,i shall continue to watch him4 ,but as yet1 although ,i see enough to convince me of his insanity1 ,i don't see enough to convince the world1 or1 above all1 to convince ,julian4 ,therefore never give ,julian the slightest hint of what ,i have told you of to-day4 ,his adoration of ,valentine is such that even a hint might easily lead him to regard both you and me as his enemies4 ,keep your own counsel and mine1 but act with me on the silent assumption that ,cresswell being a madman1 we are justified in fighting him to the bitter end1 you and ,i1 with all our forces4 ,i see1 ,cuckoo said1 a burning excitement beginning to wake in her4 ,justified in fighting him1 but not in hating him4 ,oh1 she said1 with a much more doubtful accent4 ,scarcely any human being1 if indeed any1 is completely hateful4 ,how then can a human being1 whose mind is ill and out of control1 be hateful8 said the doctor1 gently4 ,she felt herself rebuked1 and a quick thought of herself1 of what she was1 rebuked her too4 ,i'll try not1 she murmured1 but with no inward conviction of success4 ,they were on the heath now1 and the smoke of ,london hung in the wintry air beyond and below them4 ,the sun was already beginning to wear the aspect of a traveller on the point of departure for a journey4 ,his once golden face was sinister with that blood-red hue which it so often assumes on winter afternoons1 and which seems to set it in a place more than usually remote1 more than usually distant from our world1 and in a clime that is sad and strange4 ,winds danced over the heath like young witches4 ,the horses1 whipped by the more intense cold1 pulled hard against the bit1 and made the coachman's arms ache4 ,the doctor looked away for a moment at the vapours that began to clothe the afternoon in the hollows and depressions of the landscape1 and at the sun1 whose gathering change of aspect smote on his imagination as something akin to the change that falls over the faces of men towards that hour when the sun of their glory makes ready for its setting4 ,still keeping his glance on that sad red sun in its nest of radiating vapours1 he said1 in a withdrawn voice3 ,we must hate nothing except the hatefulness of sin in ourselves and in others4 ,cuckoo listened as to the voice of some one on a throne1 and tears that she could not fully understand rose in her eyes4 ,but now the doctor turned from the sun to the lady of the feathers1 and there was a bright light in his quiet eyes4 ,you and ,i must fight with all our forces1 he said4 ,have you ever thought about this thing will which ,cresswell worships insanely8 ,have you ever felt it in you1 ,miss ,bright8 ,i don't know as ,i have1 ,cuckoo said1 secretly wondering if it were that strange and fleeting power which had come to her of late1 which had made her for a moment fearless of ,valentine as she defied him in the loneliness of her room1 which had stirred her even to a faith in herself when she spoke with the doctor under the stars upon her doorstep4 ,i think you have4 ,i think you will4 ,it must be there1 for ,julian feels it in you4 ,he--he calls it a flame4 ,eh8 ,a flame8 ,yes4 ,he sees it in your eyes1 and it holds him near you4 ,so the doctor spoke1 partly out of his conviction1 partly because he had definitely resolved to put away from him all the things that fought against his reason and that his imagination perhaps loved too much4 ,such things1 he thought1 floated like clouds across the clearness of his vision1 and drowned the light of his power to do good4 ,so his fancies that had fastened on the mystery of the dead ,marr and the living ,valentine1 connecting them together1 and weaving a veil of magic about their strange connection1 were banished4 ,he would not hold more commerce with them1 nor would he accept the fancies of others as realities4 ,thus1 in his mind1 ,julian's legend of the flame in this girl's eyes1 despite the doctor's own vision of flames1 became merely a story of the truth of human will and an acknowledgment of its power4 ,is that why he looks at me so8 ,cuckoo asked1 in a manner unusually meditative4 ,but then he1 ,valentine1 did the same6 ,why1 could that be what scared him that night--what he struck at8 ,he too may feel that you have a power for good1 to fight against his power for evil4 ,yes1 he does feel it4 ,make him feel it more4 ,rely on yourself4 ,trust that there's something great within you1 something placed there for you to use4 ,never mind what your life has been4 ,never mind your own weakness4 ,you are the home1 the temple1 of this power of will4 ,julian feels it1 and it draws him to you1 but it is as nothing yet compared with the power of ,cresswell4 ,you have to make it more powerful1 so that you may win ,julian back from this danger4 ,eh8 ,how8 ,rest on it2 trust in it2 teach it to act4 ,show ,julian more and more that you have it4 ,can't you think of a way of showing that you have this power8 ,not ,i4 ,no1 ,cuckoo murmured4 ,the doctor lowered his voice still more4 ,quite at a venture he drew a bow1 and with his first arrow smote the lady of the feathers to the heart4 ,has ,julian ever asked you to do anything8 he said4 ,suddenly ,cuckoo's face was scarlet4 ,why8 ,how d' you know8 she stammered4 ,anything for him that was not evil8 the doctor pursued1 following out an abstract theory1 not as ,cuckoo fancied1 dealing with known facts4 ,i know nothing4 ,i only ask you to try and remember1 to search your mind4 ,there was no need for the lady of the feathers to do that4 ,yes1 he did once1 she said1 looking still confused and furtive4 ,was it difficult8 ,she hesitated4 ,i s'pose so1 she answered at last4 ,did you do it8 ,no4 ,the doctor had noticed that his questions gave pain4 ,i don't want to know what it was and ,i don't ask1 he said4 ,i have neither the right to1 nor the desire to4 ,but can't you do it1 and show ,julian that you have done it8 ,if you do ,i think he will see that flame1 which he fears and which fascinates him1 burn more clearly1 more steadily1 in your eyes4 ,i'll see1 ,cuckoo said with a kind of gulp4 ,do more than this4 ,this is only a part1 one weapon in the fight4 ,cresswell is always near ,julian2 you must be near him4 ,cresswell pursues ,julian2 you must pursue him1 use your woman's wit1 use all your experience of men2 use your heart4 ,wake up and throw yourself into this battle1 and make yourself worthy of fighting4 ,only you can tell how4 ,but this is a fact4 ,our wills1 our powers of doing things1 are made strong1 or made weak by our own lives4 ,each time we do a degradingly low1 beastly thing--he chose the words most easily comprehended by such a woman as she was--we weaken our will1 and make it less able to do anything good for another4 ,if you commit loveless actions from to-day--though ,julian has nothing to do with them--with each loveless action you will lose a point in the battle against the madness of ,cresswell4 ,and you must lose no points4 ,remember you are fighting a madman1 as ,i believe1 for the safety of the man you love4 ,if ,i could tell you what-- ,the doctor pulled himself up short4 ,no1 he said1 no need to tell you more than that1 within these last few days ,i have found that all you said about ,cresswell's present diablerie--he shook his head impatiently at the language he was using to the lady of the feathers--,cresswell's present impulse for evil is less horribly true than the truth4 ,i shall watch him1 day by day1 from now4 ,and if ,i can act1 ,i shall do so4 ,if his insanity is too sharp for me1 as it may well be1 ,i shall be checkmated in any effort to forcibly keep him from doing harm4 ,in that case ,i can only trust to you1 and hope that some chance circumstance may lead to the opening of ,julian's eyes4 ,but they are closed--closed fast4 ,in any case you will help me and ,i will help you4 ,you shall have opportunities of meeting ,julian often4 ,i will arrange that4 ,and ,cresswell-- ,he paused as if in deep thought4 ,how to do it1 he murmured1 almost to himself4 ,how to bring this battle to the issue6 ,then he turned his eyes on ,cuckoo4 ,she was sitting bolt upright in the carriage4 ,her cheeks were flushed4 ,her hollow eyes were sparkling4 ,she had drawn her hands out from under the rug and clasped them together in her lap4 ,oh1 ,i'll do anything ,i can1 she said1 anything4 ,and--and ,i can do that one thing6 ,yes1 said the doctor4 ,which8 ,the thing that he asked me once1 and what ,i said no to1 she answered1 but in such a low murmur that the doctor scarcely caught the words4 ,he leaned forward in the carriage4 ,home now1 ,grant1 he said to the coachman4 ,or--no--drive first to #djj ,marylebone ,road4 ,the doctor turned again towards ,cuckoo4 ,she was looking away from him1 so much that he was obliged to believe that she wished to conceal her face1 which was towards the sunset4 ,the sky over ,london glowed with a dull red like a furnace4 ,it deepened1 while they looked1 passing rapidly through the biting cold of the late winter afternoon4 ,the red cloud near the fainting sun broke and parted4 ,spears of gold were thrust forth4 ,flames1 the doctor whispered to himself4 ,flames6 ,the will1 the soul of ,god in nature4 ,,part ,v--,,flames ,,chapter ,i ,,valentine ,,invites ,,his ,,guests ,valentine and ,julian sat together in the tentroom at night1 as they sat together many months ago1 when ,julian confessed his secret and ,valentine expressed his strange desire to have a different soul4 ,now it was deep winter4 ,the year was old4 ,in three days it must die4 ,it lay in the snow1 like some abandoned beggar waiting for the inevitable end4 ,some1 who were happy1 would fain have succoured it and kept it with them4 ,others1 who were sad1 said3 ,let it go--this beggar4 ,already it has taken too many alms from us4 ,but neither the happy nor the sad could affect its fate4 ,so it lay in the snow and in the wind1 upon its deathbed4 ,the tentroom had not been altered4 ,still the green draperies1 veiled walls1 windows and door1 meeting in a point at the ceiling4 ,the fire danced and shone4 ,the electric moons gleamed with a twilight softness4 ,only ,rip was gone from the broad and cushioned divan upon which he had loved to lie1 half sleeping1 half awake1 while his master talked and ,julian listened or replied4 ,the room was the same1 and this very fact emphasized the transformation of the two men who sat in it4 ,they leaned in their low chairs on each side of the fire1 thinly veiled from time to time in cigarette-smoke4 ,no sound of ,london reached them in this small room4 ,even the voice of the winter wind whispered and sang in vain4 ,stifled by the thick draperies1 it failed in its effort to gain their attention1 and sighed among the chimney-tops the chagrin of its soul4 ,the face of ,julian was drawn and heavy4 ,his eyes were downcast4 ,his arms hung over the cushioned elbows of his chair1 in which he sat very low1 in the shrivelled posture of one desperately fatigued4 ,from time to time he opened his lips in a sort of dull gape1 then shut his teeth tightly as if he ground them together4 ,the drooping lids of his eyes were covered with little lines1 and there were deeper lines at the corners of his mouth4 ,the colour of his face was the colour of the misty cloud that haunts the steps of evening on an autumn day--grey1 as if it clothed processes of decay and desolation4 ,years seemed to crouch upon him like lean dogs upon a doorstep4 ,within a few months he had stepped from boyhood to the creaking threshold of premature age4 ,the change in ,valentine was far less marked to a careless eye4 ,there was still a peculiar cleanness in his large blue eyes1 a white delicacy in his features4 ,the lips of his mouth were red and soft1 not dry1 as were the lips of ,julian4 ,the crisp gold of his hair caught the light1 and his lithe figure rested in his chair in a calm posture of pleasant ease4 ,yet he1 too1 was changed4 ,expression of a new nature now no longer lurked furtively in his face1 but boldly1 even triumphantly1 asserted itself4 ,it did not shrink behind a soft smile1 or glide and pass in a fleeting gaiety1 but stared upon the world with something of the hard and fixed immobility of a mask4 ,every mask1 whatever expression be painted upon it1 wears a certain aspect of shamelessness4 ,valentine's was a hard and shameless face1 although his features1 if coarser than of old1 were still noble1 and1 in line1 a silent legend of almost priestly intellectuality4 ,he was looking across at ,julian1 who held idly between his lax fingers a letter written with violet ink upon pink paper1 which had a little bird stamped in the left-hand corner4 ,when did you get it8 he said4 ,two or three days ago1 ,i think4 ,i can't remember4 ,i can't remember anything now1 ,julian answered heavily4 ,and you have had two since8 ,yes4 ,and to-day she called4 ,you were out8 ,yes4 ,she shows herself very exigent all of a sudden4 ,she is afraid of losing you4 ,i told you long ago she cherished absurd ambitions with regard to you4 ,do you intend to answer her notes8 ,oh yes1 ,julian said4 ,cuckoo has always been very fond of me2 very fond4 ,he glanced at the absurdly vulgar little bird in the corner of the letter4 ,and that's something1 he added slowly4 ,you are weighed down with gratitude8 ,no wonder4 ,are you grateful to others who have always cared for you in a different way--unselfishly1 that is8 ,i don't seem to feel very much about anybody now1 ,julian said4 ,i do such a lot4 ,the more you do1 the less you feel4 ,damnable life6 ,all cruelty4 ,i can't feel satisfied4 ,but there must be something2 something ,i haven't tried4 ,i must find it1 he said1 almost fiercely1 and1 stirring in a sudden energy1 ,i must find it--or--curse you1 ,val1 why don't you find it for me8 ,valentine laughed4 ,the last novelty has failed8 ,you are a very discontented sinner1 ,julian4 ,and yet ,london begins to think you too enterprising4 ,i hear that ,lady ,crichton is the last person to shut her doors against you4 ,what did she hear of8 ,how should ,i know8 ,he laughed bitterly4 ,she oughtn't to be particular4 ,she used to receive ,marr4 ,i met him first in her yellow drawing-room4 ,london had not discussed him1 perhaps4 ,you are rapidly becoming a legend and a warning4 ,that is fame4 ,to be the accepted warning for others4 ,or infamy2 which is much the same thing4 ,but you are only at the first posting-station of your journey1 ,valentine continued1 looking at him with a smile4 ,if you are dissatisfied1 it is because you have not tasted yet half that strength of the spring we once talked of4 ,you have not completely thrown off the foolish yoke of public opinion4 ,the chains still jangle about you4 ,cast them away and you will yet be happy4 ,shall ,i8 ,shall ,i1 ,valentine8 ,the exhausted1 worn1 and weary figure leaned abruptly forward in its chair4 ,julian's tired eyes glittered greedily4 ,to be happy1 ,i'd commit any crime1 he said4 ,crime is merely opinion1 ,valentine answered4 ,everything is opinion4 ,you will commit crimes probably4 ,most brave men do4 ,but shall ,i be happy8 ,you are greedy1 ,julian1 greedy of everything1 knowledge of life1 lust1 joy4 ,you are never satisfied4 ,that's because you and ,i fasted for so long2 and the greedy man is never quite happy while he is eating1 for he is always anticipating the next course4 ,and1 let philosophers say what they will1 happiness does not lie in anticipation4 ,go on eating4 ,pass on from course to course4 ,at last there will come a time1 a beautiful time1 when your appetite will be satisfied and you will rest contented4 ,but1 remember1 not till you have journeyed through the whole menu1 played with your dessert and even drunk your black coffee4 ,go on1 only go on4 ,men and women are unhappy4 ,they think it is because they have done too much4 ,they reproach themselves for a thousand things that they have done4 ,fools6 ,they are unhappy because they have not done enough4 ,the text which will haunt me on my deathbed will be3 ',i have left undone those things which ,i ought to have done4' ,yes1 during my long cursed years of inaction1 when ,i was called the ,saint of ,victoria ,street4 ,ah6 ,julian1 you and ,i slept2 we are awake now4 ,you and ,i were dead2 we are now alive4 ,but we are only at the beginning of our lives4 ,we have those years1 those white and empty years1 to drown in the waters of ,lethe4 ,they are like monstrous children that should have been strangled almost ere they were born1 white1 vacant children4 ,and now1 day by day1 we are pressing them down in the waters with our hands4 ,at last they will sink4 ,the waves will flow over their haggard faces4 ,the waves will sweep them away4 ,then we shall be happy4 ,we shall redeem those years on which the locust fed1 and we shall be happy4 ,yes1 by ,god1 we shall be happy1 we will--we will be happy4 ,only teach me to be happy1 ,valentine1 anywhere1 anyhow4 ,not with the lady of the feathers4 ,she will not make you happy4 ,cuckoo8 ,no6 ,for she's terribly unhappy herself4 ,poor old ,cuckoo4 ,i wonder what she's doing now4 ,searching in the snow for her fate1 ,valentine said1 with a sneer4 99 99 99 99 99 ,it was not so4 ,cuckoo was sitting alone in the little room of the ,marylebone ,road looking a new spectre in the face1 the spectre of hunger1 only shadowy as yet1 scarcely defined1 scarcely visible4 ,and the lady of the feathers wondered1 as she gazed1 if she and the spectre must become better acquainted1 clasp hands1 kiss lips1 be day-fellows and night-fellows4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i am going to write to ,cuckoo1 ,julian said a day later4 ,what shall ,i say8 ,valentine hesitated4 ,what have you thought of saying8 he asked4 ,oh1 ,i don't know4 ,first one thing1 then another4 ,good-bye among the number4 ,that's what you wish me to say1 ,val1 isn't it8 ,he spoke in a listless voice1 monotonous in inflection and lifeless in timbre4 ,the dominion of ,valentine over him since the supper at the ,savoy had increased1 consolidating itself into an undoubted tyranny1 which ,julian accepted1 carelessly1 thoughtlessly1 a prey to the internal degradation of his mind4 ,once he had only been nobly susceptible1 a fine power4 ,now he was drearily weak1 an ungracious disability4 ,but with his weakness came1 as is usual1 a certain lassitude which even resembled despair1 an indifference peculiar to the slave1 how opposed to the indifference peculiar to the autocrat4 ,valentine recognized in the voice the badge of serfdom1 even more than in the question1 and he smiled with a cold triumph4 ,he had intended telling ,julian now1 once for all1 to break with the lady of the feathers1 of whom even yet he stood in vague fear4 ,but the question1 the voice of ,julian1 gave him pause1 slid into his soul a new and bizarre desire1 child of the strange intoxication of power which was beginning to grip him1 and which the doctor had remarked4 ,if ,julian broke with ,cuckoo1 repulsed her forever into the long street that was her pent and degraded world1 would not the sharp salt of ,valentine's triumph be taken from him8 ,would not the wheels of his ,juggernaut car fail to do their office in his sight--there was the point6--upon a precious victim8 ,the lady of the feathers thus deliberately abandoned by ,julian would suffer perhaps almost to the limit of her capability of pain1 but ,valentine would have lost sight of her in the dark1 and though he would have conquered that spectral opposition which she had whimsically offered to him--he laughed to himself now1 thinking of his fear of it--he would not see that greatest vision1 the flight of his enemy4 ,these thoughts flashed through his mind1 moving him to an answer that astonished ,julian4 ,good-bye6 he said4 ,why should ,i wish that8 ,you said the other day at the ,savoy that she hated you2 that you and she must have a battle unless ,i chose between you4 ,i was laughing4 ,the lifelessness left ,julian's voice as he exclaimed3 ,valentine6 ,but you were-- ,sober1 and you were not4 ,can you deny it8 ,julian was silent4 ,i so little meant that nonsense1 ,valentine continued1 that ,i have conceived a plan4 ,to-morrow is the last night of the old year4 ,the doctor asked us to spend it with him4 ,we refused4 ,providence directed that refusal1 for now we are at liberty to celebrate the proper occasion for burying hatchets by burying our particular hatchet4 ,the lady of the feathers1 your friend1 my enemy1 shall see the new year in here1 in this tentroom1 where long ago we--you and ,i--with how ill success1 sought to exchange our souls4 ,julian looked utterly astonished at this proposition4 ,cuckoo wouldn't come here1 he began4 ,so you said once before4 ,but she came then1 and she will come now4 ,and then the doctor6 ,if he gets to hear of it6 ,we said we were dining out4 ,valentine's hard smile grew yet harder1 and his eyes sparkled eagerly4 ,i'll arrange that1 he said4 ,the doctor shall come here too4 ,it seemed indeed as if he meant that his triumph should culminate on this final night of the year1 his year4 ,he laughed ,julian's astonishment at this vagary aside1 sat down and wrote the two notes of invitation1 and then went out with ,julian1 saying3 ,julian1 come out with me4 ,you remember what ,i said about the greedy man8 ,come2 ,fate shall present you with another course1 one more step towards your caf noir and--happiness4 ,voil6 ,valentine was right in his supposition that both the lady of the feathers and the doctor would accept his invitation1 but he did not understand the precise motive which prompted their acceptance4 ,nor did he much care to understand it4 ,cuckoo1 ,doctor ,levillier6 ,after all1 what were they to him now8 ,spectators of his triumph4 ,interesting1 therefore1 to a certain extent1 as an unpaying audience may be interesting to an actor4 ,interesting1 inasmuch as they could contribute to swell the bladder of his vanity1 and follow in procession behind his chariot wheels4 ,but he no longer cared to divine the shades of their emotions1 or to busy himself in fathoming their exact mental attitudes in relation to himself4 ,so he thought1 touched perhaps with a certain delirium1 though not with the delirium of insanity attributed to him by ,doctor ,levillier4 ,the doctor had intended celebrating the last night of the year in ,harley ,street with ,cuckoo and the two young men4 ,the refusal of the latter put an end to the opening of his plan of campaign in this strange battle1 and he was greatly astonished when he received ,valentine's invitation4 ,still1 he had no hesitation in accepting it4 ,so1 he said to himself1 as he read the note1 we join issue within the very wall of the enemy4 ,poor1 deluded1 twisted ,valentine6 that ,i should have to call him1 to think of him as an enemy6 ,we begin the fight within the shadow of our opponent's tent4 ,literally that was the fact4 ,cuckoo's thoughts were less definite1 more tinged with passion1 less shaped by the hands of intellect4 ,they were as clouds1 looming large1 yet misty1 hanging loose in torn fragments now1 and now merging into indistinguishable fog that yet seemed pregnant with possibilities4 ,poor thoughts1 vague thoughts2 yet they pressed upon her brain until her tired head ached4 ,and they stole down to her heart1 and that ached too1 and hoped and then despaired--then hoped again4 ,,chapter ,,ii ,,caf ,,noir ,snow fell1 melodramatically1 on the year's death-night4 ,during the day ,valentine occupied himself oddly in decorating his flat for the evening4 ,but although he thus seemed to fall in with the consecrated humours of the season his decorations would scarcely have commanded the approval of those good ,english folk who think that no plant is genial unless it is prickly1 and that prickly things represent appropriately to the eye the inward peace and good will that grows1 like a cactus1 perhaps within the heart4 ,he did not put holly rigidly above his doors4 ,no mistletoe drooped from the apex of the tentroom4 ,instead1 he filled his flat with flowers1 brought from ,english conservatories or from abroad4 ,crowds of strange and spotted orchids stood together in the drawing-room1 staring upon the hurly-burly of furniture and ornaments4 ,in the corners of the room were immense red flowers1 such as hang among the crawling green jungles of the ,west ,indies4 ,they gleamed1 like flames1 amid a shower of cunningly arranged green leaves1 and palms sheltered them from the electric rays of the ceiling4 ,the tentroom was a maze of tulips1 in vases1 in pots1 in china bowls that hung by thin chains from the sloping green roof4 ,few of these tulips were whole coloured4 ,they were slashed1 and striped1 and spotted with violent hues4 ,some were of the most vivid scarlet streaked with black4 ,others were orange-coloured with livid pink spots1 circus-pink1 such as you see round the eyes of horses bred specially for the ring4 ,there were white tulips1 stained as if with blood1 pale pink tulips tipped with deepest brown1 rose-coloured tulips barred with wounds whose edges were saffron-hued1 tulips of a warm wallflower tint dashed with the stormy yellow of an evening sky4 ,and hidden among those scentless flowers1 in secret places cunningly contrived1 were great groups of hyacinths1 which poured forth their thick and decadent scent1 breathing heavily their hearts into the small atmosphere of the room1 and giving a strange and unnatural soul to the tulips who had spent all their efforts in the attainment of form and daring combinations of colour4 ,as if relapsing into sweet simplicity1 after the vagaries of a wayward nature had run their course1 ,valentine had filled his hall and dining-room with violets1 purple and white1 and a bell of violets hung from the ceiling over the chair which the lady of the feathers was to occupy at dinner4 ,these were white only1 white and virginal1 flowers for some sweet woman dedicated to the service of ,god1 or to the service of some eternal altar-flame burning1 as the zeal of nature burns1 through all the dawning and fading changes of the world4 ,thus ,valentine passed his day among flowers1 and only when the last twilight of the year fell had he fixed the last blossom in its place4 ,then he rested1 as after six days of creation1 and from the midst of his flowers saw the snow falling delicately upon ,london4 ,lights began to gleam in the tall houses opposite his drawing-room windows4 ,he glanced at them1 and they brought him thoughts at which he smiled4 ,behind those squares of light he imagined peace and good will in enormous white waistcoats and expansive shirt-fronts1 red-faced1 perhaps even whiskered1 getting ready for good temper and turkey1 journalistic geniality and plum pudding4 ,and holly everywhere1 with its prickly leaves and shining1 phlegmatic surfaces4 ,peace and good will6 ,he glanced at his orchids and at the red ,west ,indian flowers1 and he thought of those crawling green jungles from which they should have come1 and smiled gently4 ,peace and good will6 ,he went to dress4 99 99 99 99 99 ,meanwhile1 in the ,marylebone ,road the lady of the feathers achieved her toilet1 assisted by ,jessie4 ,the only evening dress that ,cuckoo possessed had been given to her long ago by a young man in the millinery department of a large ,london shop4 ,for a week he had adored ,cuckoo4 ,during that week he had presented her with this tremendous gift4 ,she went into her bedroom now1 took it out and looked at it4 ,the gown rustled a great deal whenever it was moved2 this had been the young man's idea4 ,he considered that the more a gift rustled1 the more aristocratic it was1 and1 being well acquainted with all the different noises made by different fabrics1 he had selected one with a voice as of many waters4 ,cuckoo heard it now as in a dream4 ,she laid it down upon the bed and regarded it by candle-light4 ,the young man's taste in sound found its equivalent in his taste in colour4 ,the hue of the gown was also very loud1 the brightest possible green1 trimmed with thick yellow imitation lace4 ,once it had enchanted ,cuckoo1 she had put it on with a thrill to go to music-halls with the young man4 ,but now she gazed upon it with a lack lustre and a doubtful eye4 ,the flickering flame of the candle lit it up in patches1 and those patches had a lurid aspect4 ,remembering that ,julian had liked her best in black1 she shrank from appearing before him in anything so determined4 ,yet it was her only dress for the evening1 and at first she supposed the wearing of it to be inevitable4 ,she put it on and went in front of the glass4 ,in these days she had become even thinner than of old1 and more haggard4 ,the gown increased her tenuity and pallor to the eye1 and1 after a long moment of painful consideration1 ,cuckoo resolved to abandon these green glories4 ,once her mind was made up1 she was out of the dress in an instant2 time was short4 ,she hurriedly extracted her black gown from the wardrobe1 caught hold of a pair of scissors1 and in a few minutes had ripped the imitation lace from its foundations and was transferring it with trembling fingers to ,julian's gift4 ,never before had she worked at any task with such grim determination1 or with such deftness2 inspired by exceptional circumstances1 she might for twenty minutes have been a practised dressmaker4 ,certainly1 pins were called in as weapons to the attack2 but what of that8 ,compromises are often only stuck together with pins4 ,in any case ,cuckoo was not entirely in despair with the new aspect of an old friend1 and when she was ready was able at least to hope that things might have been worse4 ,putting on over the dress a black jacket1 she went out into the passage and called down to ,mrs4 ,brigg1 who1 as usual1 was wandering to and fro in her kitchen1 like an uneasy shade in nethermost ,hades4 ,mrs4 ,brigg6 ,mrs4 ,brigg1 ,i say6 ,well8 ,where's the whistle8 ,mrs4 ,brigg came to the bottom of the kitchen stairs4 ,what d' yer want it for8 ,a cab1 of course1 cried ,cuckoo1 in the narrow voice of one in a hurry4 ,a cab6 rejoined ,mrs4 ,brigg1 ascending the dark stairs all the time she was speaking4 ,and what do you want with cabs1 ,i should like to know8 ,who pays for 'em1 that's what ,i say2 who's to do it8 ,her grey head hove in sight4 ,where are you going8 ,piccadilly8 ,no2 get the whistle4 ,what--and no hat6 ,she was evidently impressed4 ,a toff is it8 she ejaculated1 obviously appeased4 ,well6 so long as ,i get the rent ,i-- ,with a white glare ,cuckoo seized the whistle from her claw1 and in a moment was driving away through the snow4 ,mrs4 ,brigg trotted back to the kitchen decidedly relieved4 ,cuckoo's suddenly altered mode of life had tried her greatly4 ,the girl had taken to going out in the day and staying at home at night4 ,simultaneously with this changed rgime her funds had evidently become low4 ,she had begun to live less well1 to watch more keenly than of old the condition in which her commons went down to the kitchen and returned from it on the advent of the next meal4 ,by various little symptoms the landlady knew that her lodger was getting hard up4 ,yet no amount of badgering and argument would induce ,cuckoo to say why she sat indoors at night4 ,she acknowledged that she was not ill4 ,mrs4 ,brigg had been seriously exercised4 ,but now her old heart was glad4 ,cuckoo was1 perhaps1 mounting into higher circles1 circles in which hats were not worn during the evening4 ,and as ,mrs4 ,brigg entered her nethermost hell she broke into a thin1 quavering song3 ,in 'er 'air she wore a white cam-eeiyer1 ,dark blue was the colour of 'er heye4 ,it was her song of praise4 ,she always sang it on great occasions4 ,when the lady of the feathers reached ,victoria ,street she found the little party already assembled4 ,valentine met her ceremoniously in the violet-scented hall and helped her to slide out of her jacket4 ,his glance upon the imitation lace was quick and gay1 but ,cuckoo did not see it4 ,she was gazing at the flowers1 and when she entered the drawing-room and found herself in the midst of the orchids1 the ,west ,indian flowers and the palms1 her astonishment knew no bounds4 ,i never6 she murmured under her breath4 ,then she forgot the flowers1 having only time to remember to be shy4 ,dinner was immediately announced by ,wade1 whose years of trained discretion could not banish a faint accent of surprise from his voice4 ,he was1 in fact1 boulevers by this celebration of the death of the old year4 ,valentine offered ,cuckoo his arm4 ,she took it awkwardly1 with a shooting glance of question at the doctor1 who seemed her only spar in this deep social sea4 ,valentine placed her beneath the bell of violets1 and took his seat beside her4 ,julian was on her other hand1 the doctor exactly opposite4 ,wade presented her with hors-d'oeuvres4 ,cuckoo selected a sardine4 ,she understood sardines1 having met them at the ,monico4 ,valentine and the doctor began to talk4 ,julian ate slowly1 and ,cuckoo stole a glance at him4 ,his aspect startled her so much that she with difficulty repressed a murmur of astonishment4 ,he had the appearance of one so completely exhausted as to be scarcely alive4 ,most people1 however stupid1 however bored1 have some air1 when in society1 of listening even when they do not speak1 of giving some sort of attention to those about them1 or to the place in which they find themselves4 ,they glance this way and that1 however phlegmatically4 ,they bend in attention or lean back in observation4 ,it is seen that they are conscious of their environment4 ,but ,julian was engrossed with fatigue4 ,the lids drooped over his eyes4 ,his face wore a leaden hue4 ,even his lips were colourless4 ,he ate slowly and mechanically till his plate was empty4 ,then he laid down his fork and remained motionless1 his eyes still cast down towards the tablecloth1 his two hands laid against the table edge1 while the fingers were extended upon the cloth on either side of his plate4 ,cuckoo looked at him with terror1 wondering if he were ill4 ,then1 glancing up1 she met the eyes of the doctor4 ,they seemed to bid her take no heed of ,julian's condition1 and she did not look at him again just then4 ,trying to control her fears1 she listened to ,valentine's conversation with the doctor4 ,doctors are sceptics by profession1 she heard him say4 ,i believe in individualism too firmly to allow that any beliefs or unbeliefs can be professional1 ,cresswell4 ,possibly you are right1 ,valentine answered lightly4 ,what a pity it is that there is no profession of which all the members at least believe in themselves4 ,ah2 would you enter it8 ,i scarcely think it would be necessary4 ,he glanced first at the doctor1 then at ,cuckoo as he spoke4 ,i am thankful to say1 he added in his clear1 cool voice1 that ,i have no longer either the perpetual timidity of the self-doubter or even the occasional anxiety of the egoist4 ,you have passed into a region which even egoism cannot enter4 ,possibly--the average egoism4 ,the average egoism of the end of the century moves in a very rarefied air4 ,its feet touch ground nevertheless4 ,and yours8 ,valentine only laughed1 as if he considered the question merely rhetorical or jocose4 ,but we are getting away from the question1 which was not personal1 he said4 ,i contend that doctors1 as a body1 are bound to combat these modern ,athenians1 who are inclined to attribute everything to some obscure action of the mind4 ,for1 if their beliefs are founded on rock1 and if they can themselves sufficiently1 by asceticism1 or by following any other fixed course of life which they may select as the right one1 train their minds to do that which they believe can be done1 the profession of doctors may in time be abolished4 ,mind will be the universal medicine2 will1 not simply the cure1 but the preventive1 of disease4 ,and of death8 the doctor asked quietly4 ,will man be able to think himself into an eternity on earth8 ,valentine looked at him very strangely4 ,you ask that question seriously8 he said4 ,i ask seriously whether you think so4 ,it was evident that the doctor meant to make the question above all things a personal one4 ,this time ,valentine accepted that condition4 ,he sat for a moment twisting his champagne-glass about in his long fingers1 and glancing rapidly from the doctor to ,cuckoo1 who heard this conversation without very well understanding it4 ,indeed1 she sat beneath her bell of violets in much confusion1 distraite in her desire to command intellectual faculties which she did not possess4 ,valentine watched her narrowly1 though he seemed unattentive to her4 ,perhaps he thought of his delivery of his gospel to her1 and wondered if she recalled it at this moment2 or perhaps once more he began to rejoice in her mental distress and alienation4 ,wade1 he said the champagne to ,mr4 ,addison4 ,well1 doctor1 suppose ,i acknowledged that ,i did so--mind1 ,i don't acknowledge it6--you might1 on your side1 think something too--that ,i am mad1 for instance4 ,ah6 ,miss ,bright has knocked over her glass6 ,cuckoo murmured a stumbling apology1 gazing with nervous intentness at ,valentine4 ,it seemed to her that he had a gift of divination4 ,doctor ,levillier laughed gently4 ,i am not inclined to suppose all my opponents in thought mad1 he said4 ,still1 such a belief would certainly indicate in the holder of it the possession of a mind so uncommon1 so unique1 ,i may say1 that it would naturally rouse one to very close attention and observation of it4 ,exactly1 ,valentine rejoined4 ,a certain audacity was slowly creeping into his demeanour and growing while he talked4 ,it manifested itself in slight gesticulations1 conceited movements of the hand and head1 in the colour of the voice and the blunt directness of his glances4 ,exactly4 ,attention and observation directed towards the object of satisfying yourself that the man--myself1 let us say--was mad8 ,you don't reply4 ,let me ask you a question4 ,why should a profound belief in human power of will indicate madness8 ,a belief that is not based on any foundation or proof--that is my point4 ,an extraordinary belief1 personal to one person1 rejected by mankind in the mass1 and founded upon nothing1 no fact1 no inference even1 in the history of mankind1 is decidedly a strong indication of dementia4 ,but suppose it is a belief founded upon a fact8 ,of course that would entirely alter the matter4 ,the two men looked across at one another with a long and direct glance full in the eyes4 ,cuckoo watched them anxiously4 ,julian sat with his eyes cast down4 ,he seemed unaware that there was any one near him1 any conversation going on around him4 ,wade moved softly about1 ministering to the wants of his master's guests4 ,course succeeded course4 ,do you propose to give me a fact proving the reasonableness of entertaining a belief that a man1 by his own deliberate action of the will1 can compass immortality on earth1 or even prolong his life in such a way as this1 for instance2 by the successful domination1 or banishment1 of any disease recognized as mortal8--,for ,i acknowledge that the will to live may prolong for a certain time a life threatened merely by the sapping action of old age4--,do you propose to give me a fact to prove that8 ,i do not say that ,i intend to give it to you1 ,valentine answered1 with scarcely veiled insolence4 ,but you know of such a fact8 said the doctor1 ignoring his host's tone4 ,possibly4 ,the voice of ,valentine thrilled with triumph as he spoke the word4 ,again he glanced at the lady of the feathers4 ,cannot you convert the doctor8 he asked her1 in tones full of sarcastic meaning4 ,you know something of my theories1 something of their putting into practice4 ,i don't know--,i don't understand1 she murmured helplessly4 ,she looked down at her plate1 flushing scarlet with a sense of shame at her own complete mental impotence4 ,what's the matter1 ,cuckoo8 ,the words came slowly from the lips of ,julian1 whose heavy eyes were now raised and fixed with a stare of lethargic wonder upon ,cuckoo4 ,what are they saying to you8 ,his look travelled on1 still slow and unwieldy1 to the doctor and to ,valentine4 ,i won't have ,cuckoo worried1 he said4 ,and then he relapsed with a mechanical abruptness upon the consideration of his food4 ,valentine seemed about to make some laughing rejoinder1 but1 after a glance at ,julian1 he apparently resigned the idea as absurd1 and1 turning again to the doctor1 remarked3 ,it is sometimes injudicious to state all that one knows4 ,still more so all that one does not know4 ,but ,i have no desire to press you1 the doctor said1 lightly4 ,this is wonderful wine4 ,where did you get it8 ,at the ,cercle ,blanc sale1 ,valentine answered quickly4 ,it seemed that he was slightly irritated4 ,he frowned and cast a glance that was almost threatening upon the doctor4 ,would you assume weakness in every strong man who refuses to take off his coat1 roll up his shirt sleeve and display the muscle of his arm8 he said1 harshly4 ,the case is not analogous4 ,that muscle exists in the world is a proved fact4 ,when ,i was at ,eton1 ,i was knocked down by a boy stronger than ,i was4 ,since then ,i acknowledge the power of muscle4 ,and have you never been knocked down mentally8 ,not in the way you suggest4 ,valentine shifted in his seat4 ,it did not escape the doctor that he had the air of a man longing to either say or do something startling1 but apparently held back by tugging considerations of prudence or of expediency4 ,some day you may be1 he said at last1 obviously conquered by this prompting prudence4 ,when ,i am1 the ',christian scientist' who once declared to me that she cured a sprained ankle by walking on it many miles a day1 and thinking it was well while she walked1 shall receive my respectful apologies1 the doctor answered1 laughing4 ,valentine handed the lady of the feathers some strawberries4 ,on her nervous refusal of them he exclaimed3 ,i see you have finished your wine1 doctor4 ,no more8 ,really8 ,nor you1 ,julian8 ,julian made no reply4 ,he simply pushed his glass a little away from him4 ,then shall we accompany ,miss ,bright into the tentroom8 ,i thought we would have coffee there4 ,you have never seen the tentroom1 he added to ,cuckoo1 getting up from his seat as he spoke4 ,i usually sit in it when ,i am alone or with ,julian4 ,you will not mind our cigarettes1 ,i know4 ,he led the way down the scented corridor1 scented with the thin1 gently bright scent of violets4 ,the tentroom has a history1 he continued to ,cuckoo1 opening a door on the left4 ,it was once the scene of an--an absurd experiment4 ,eh1 doctor8 ,they entered the room4 ,as they did so the hot1 sticky scent of the hidden hyacinths poured out to meet them4 ,for a moment it seemed overwhelming1 and ,cuckoo hung back with an almost unconquerable sensation of aversion and even of fear4 ,the aspect of this small room astonished her2 she had never seen any chamber so arranged4 ,certainly1 it looked very unusual to-night4 ,the small fire was hidden by a large screen of white wood1 with panels of dull green brocade4 ,only one of the electric lamps was turned on1 and that was shaded1 so that the diffused light was faint1 a mere unflickering twilight4 ,the masses of tulips hung like quantities of monotonously similar shadows from the tented ceiling1 and the flood of scent caused the room to seem even smaller than it really was1 a tiny temple dedicated to the uncommon1 perhaps to the sinister4 ,we will see the old year out and drink our caf noir here1 said ,valentine4 ,where will you sit1 ,miss ,bright8 ,i don't mind4 ,it's all one to me1 murmured ,cuckoo4 ,what a funny room1 though6 she could not help adding4 ,it ain't like a room at all4 ,imagine it an ,arab tent1 the home of a ,bedouin ,sheik in a desert of ,nubia1 said ,valentine4 ,this divan is very comfortable4 ,let me arrange the cushions for you4 ,as he bent over her to do so1 he murmured in her ear3 ,and you1 having tossed your will away1 are nothing6 ,they had been the last words of his gospel1 proclaimed to her that night on which she prayed6 ,the lady of the feathers looked up at him with a new knowledge1 the knowledge of her recent lonely nights1 of which he knew nothing as yet2 the knowledge of that glancing spectre of want whom1 by her own action1 she summoned while she feared its gaunt presence2 the knowledge of the doctor's trust in her2 the knowledge of her great love for ,julian2 the knowledge1 perhaps1 that leaning her arms upon the slippery horse-hair sofa in her little room1 she had once thrown a muttered prayer1 incoherent1 unfinished1 yet sincere1 out into the great darkness that encompasses the beginning1 the progress1 and the ending of all human lives with mystery4 ,she looked up at him with this world of mingling knowledge in her eyes1 and ,valentine drew away from her with a stifling sensation of frigid awe4 ,what--what8 he began4 ,then1 recovering himself1 he turned suddenly away4 ,sit down1 doctor4 ,do you like my flowers8 ,julian1 are you still tired8 ,the coffee will wake you up4 ,a cigarette1 doctor1 or a cigar8 ,here are the matches4 ,julian came over heavily and sat down on the divan by ,cuckoo4 ,his unnatural lethargy was gradually passing away into a more explicable fatigue1 no longer speechless4 ,leaning on his elbow1 he looked into her face with his weary eyes1 in which to-night there was a curious dim pathos4 ,it seemed that the only thing which had so far struck him during the evening was still ,cuckoo's confusion over her own misunderstanding at dinner1 for he now again referred to it4 ,have they been chaffing you1 ,cuckoo8 he said1 striking a match on the heel of his shoe and lighting a cigarette4 ,have they been worrying you8 ,never mind4 ,it's only ,val's fun4 ,he doesn't mean anything by it4 ,i say1 how awfully pale you look to-night1 and thin4 ,he paused1 considering her with a glance that was almost severe4 ,i'm all right1 said ,cuckoo1 trying to repress the agitation she always felt now when speaking to ,julian4 ,i ain't ill4 ,why don't you come to see me now8 she added4 ,you don't never come4 ,julian glanced over to ,valentine1 who was standing by the hearth talking to the doctor1 who sat in an armchair4 ,i've been busy1 he said4 ,i've had a lot of things to do4 ,do you miss me1 ,cuckoo1 when ,i don't come8 ,yes1 she replied1 but without softness4 ,then she added1 lowering her voice almost to a whisper3 ,don't he want you to come8 ,julian did not reply1 but puffed rather moodily at his cigarette1 glancing towards ,valentine4 ,he was thinking of the conversation at the ,savoy and of the antagonism between ,valentine and ,cuckoo4 ,suddenly there came into his mind a dull wish to reconcile these two on the last night of the year1 to--in ,valentine's own words--bury the hatchet4 ,he sat meditating over his plan and trying to revolve different and dramatic methods of accomplishing it4 ,presently he said3 ,cuckoo1 you and ,val have got to be friends from to-night4 ,she started1 stirring uneasily on the great cushions that were heaped at her back4 ,we are1 she said4 ,he shook his head4 ,not real friends4 ,oh1 we are all right4 ,d'you hate him still8 ,he don't like me1 she answered1 evasively4 ,yet he invites you here1 ,julian said4 ,why does he do that8 ,i dunno1 ,cuckoo said4 ,she wondered why4 ,not so the doctor1 to whom it had become evident that ,valentine had asked his guests out of vanity1 and with a view to some peculiar and monstrous display of his power over ,julian4 ,while ,cuckoo and ,julian talked together on the divan ,valentine came over to the doctor4 ,his eyes still held an expression of awe created in him by the strange new glance of the lady of the feathers4 ,he sought to conquer this sensation of awe1 which fought fiercely against his intended blatant triumph of to-night4 ,your cigarette all right1 doctor8 he said1 in a quick voice4 ,a delicious one1 thanks4 ,valentine began touching the ornaments on the mantelpiece with nervous fingers4 ,we didn't quite finish our conversation at dinner1 he said4 ,no8 ,i did not give you a reason for my belief4 ,a deep interest woke in the doctor1 but he did not show it4 ,he thought3 ,so1 he must insanely return to this one subject1 round which his brain makes an eternal tour4 ,no1 he said aloud2 you have a reason then8 ,yes4 ,valentine's voice vibrated with arrogance4 ,his hand still darted to and fro on the mantelpiece while he stood looking down at the doctor4 ,there was something in his manner that suggested a mixture of triumph and fighting anxiety in his mind4 ,but1 as he continued to speak1 the former got the upper hand4 ,a reason that might convince even you if you knew it4 ,convince me1 of exactly what8 the doctor asked1 indifferently4 ,his indifference seemed to pique ,valentine1 who replied with energy3 ,that human will can be cultivated1 has been developed1 until it has moved the mountain1 achieved the thing men call a miracle4 ,by whom has it been so developed8 ,valentine hesitated almost like one who fears to be led into a trap4 ,the doctor could see ,by me6 trembling upon his lips4 ,he didn't actually utter it1 but instead exclaimed with a laugh3 ,some day you will discover4 ,and as he spoke he looked at ,julian and the lady of the feathers4 ,the doctor was anxious to lead him on1 and leaning easily back in his comfortable chair1 occupied himself with his cigarette for a minute1 as a man calmly at ease4 ,between his whiffs he presently threw out carelessly3 ,this man has compassed eternity by his own will8 ,oh1 ,i did not say that4 ,he has contented himself with curing a sprained ankle by walking upon it1 like my ,christian scientist8 ,now you fly to the other extreme--from the very great to the very little4 ,take a middle course4 ,where would that lead me8 ,valentine threw a glance round the dim1 hot1 scented little room1 then once more his eyes rested on ,julian and ,cuckoo4 ,what if ,i said--,to this little room1 to ,julian and that girl1 to myself8 he answered in a low voice4 ,and the miracle8 said the doctor4 ,the door opened4 ,wade appeared with coffee4 ,,chapter ,,iii ,,the ,,health ,,of ,,the ,,new ,,year ,valentine turned quickly1 with an air of mingled irritation and relief at the interruption4 ,we must all take coffee1 he cried4 ,it will give us impetus1 vitality1 so that as the old year dies we may live more swiftly1 more strongly4 ,i like to feel that my life is increasing while that of another--the old year for instance--is decreasing4 ,but the doctor noticed that his eyes had rested with a curiously significant expression upon ,julian as he spoke the last sentence4 ,leave the coffee-pot on that little table1 he added to ,wade1 when the man had filled all four cups4 ,we may want it4 ,wade obeyed him and disappeared4 ,your man makes wonderful coffee1 the doctor said1 sipping4 ,yes4 ,julian1 have you reached that caf noir ,i spoke of the other day8 ,valentine asked laughingly1 returning to his simile of the greedy man and happiness4 ,i don't know4 ,not yet1 ,val1 ,i think1 ,julian answered4 ,this coffee seemed to give him life at last4 ,the heavy weariness disappeared from his face4 ,his eyes gleamed with something of their old youthfulness and ardour4 ,if so1 ,i must be close on happiness1 he added4 ,as he spoke he looked into the hollow eyes of ,cuckoo1 seeming1 strangely1 to seek in them the will-o'-the-wisp of which he spoke4 ,never look for it in unfurnished rooms1 ,valentine exclaimed with sudden violence4 ,this glance of ,julian1 so the doctor judged1 precipitated his curious and subtle insanity towards an outburst4 ,you will find it in the thing that is most definite1 not in the thing that is most indefinite4 ,isn't it so1 doctor8 ,happiness lies in the positive1 not in the negative4 ,happiness lies in many places4 ,each finds it in a different house4 ,perhaps you can't tell where ,i should find it1 ,val1 ,julian interposed1 with a certain sturdiness of manner4 ,no1 said ,cuckoo1 eagerly4 ,the coffee1 it appeared1 had an effect upon her too4 ,there was a life1 a keen intentness in her thin1 white face1 not visible there before4 ,valentine turned round upon her4 ,he was holding his coffee cup in his right hand4 ,with the other he put his cigarette to his lips4 ,can you tell us where ,mr4 ,addison is likely to find happiness8 he said4 ,can you tell us1 lady of the feathers8 ,no4 ,he can tell himself4 ,that's all1 she said4 ,let him find it himself4 ,each for himself and ,god for us all1 eh8 ,i don't know about ,god1 she said1 looking towards the doctor as if for assistance4 ,each for another and ,god for us all is perhaps a better motto1 the doctor interposed4 ,ah1 ,charity6 ,valentine took out his watch and looked at it4 ,charity6 ,midnight is approaching1 and1 of course1 this is ,charity's benefit-night by common consent4 ,thank you1 doctor1 for the hint4 ,did the dying old year prompt you with its husky voice full of the wind and of the snow8 ,possibly4 ,let us have some more coffee4 ,julian1 give me ,miss ,bright's cup4 ,you shall have your absinthe presently4 ,wade has not forgotten it4 ,absinthe8 said the doctor4 ,julian drinks it every night4 ,he has got tired of whiskey4 ,doctor1 your cup too4 ,we shall not sleep a wink to-night4 ,all the better4 ,why should not we see the dawn in1 as we did once before8 ,you recollect4 ,ah1 ,val6 on the night of your trance4 ,yes4 ,you were not here then1 lady of the feathers4 ,he spoke with a light mockery4 ,i fainted1 or died--the doctor was deceived into thinking so--and was born again in the dawn of the very day on which ,julian first met you4 ,cuckoo shivered with the recollection of ,marr and her horror of that night4 ,why do you shiver8 ,valentine continued4 ,do you find the room cold8 ,no1 no4 ,indeed1 the heat and the overpowering scent of the hyacinths had previously weighed upon her physique1 and increased the malaise into which her curious new dutifulness1 and the faint spectre which drew near to her1 had brought her4 ,perhaps you shiver in the influence of this little room1 he continued1 persistently4 ,julian and ,i once did so4 ,eh1 ,julian8 ,yes1 in those sittings4 ,i didn't shiver1 ,cuckoo said1 bluntly and very obviously lying4 ,she quickly drank some more coffee4 ,if you had1 it might not have been astonishing1 said ,valentine4 ,for this little room has seen marvels1 and strange things that happen perhaps stamp their strange impression upon the places in which they happen4 ,we ought to discuss the occult1 doctor1 on the last night of the year4 ,by all means4 ,how long ago it seems6 ,julian said suddenly1 with a sigh4 ,yes1 ,valentine answered4 ,because so much has happened in the interval4 ,the greedy man has eaten so many courses1 ,julian4 ,he seemed to take a delight in throwing out allusions to one and the other of his guests1 allusions which nobody but the person addressed could understand rightly4 ,for he now went on1 addressing himself to ,cuckoo3 ,in this little room was committed the great act of brigandage of which ,i once spoke to you4 ,do you remember8 ,she shook her head4 ,never mind4 ,but1 though you cannot remember1 that might make you shiver4 ,what act of brigandage1 ,valentine8 ,julian asked4 ,oh1 the attempt--my attempt to seize upon a different soul4 ,but you failed4 ,did ,i8 ,do you think so1 doctor8 ,his apparent audacity seemed to increase4 ,in the twilight of the scented room he drew himself up as he stood by the brocaded screen that hid the fire4 ,he closed and unclosed rapidly his left hand which hung at his side4 ,his foot tapped the thick carpet gently4 ,did you not8 the doctor answered quietly4 ,but ,julian was roused to vivacity4 ,what do you mean1 ,valentine8 he said4 ,of course you may have changed1 or developed1 or whatever you like to call it1 since then4 ,but to say you have got a different soul6 ,is absurd8 ,yes1 you are right4 ,because if ,i had got a different soul the original ',i1' that was dissatisfied with itself1 must have ceased to be4 ,since the soul of a man--his will to do things1 his will to feel things--is the man himself1 if ,i had a different soul ,i should be another man4 ,the former man would have ceased to be4 ,or would be elsewhere4 ,it was the doctor who spoke1 and he spoke without special interest1 simply expressing his thought of what might happen in so whimsical an event as that harped upon by ,valentine4 ,but ,valentine seemed painfully struck by the almost idle words4 ,elsewhere6 he exclaimed1 with a lowering expression4 ,what do you mean1 doctor8 ,what do you imply8 ,the doctor looked at him surprised4 ,merely that a thing expelled is not necessarily a thing slain4 ,if you turn me out of this room ,i am not certain to expire on the doormat4 ,valentine broke into a nervous and uneasy laugh1 and cast a quick glance all around him1 and especially on ,cuckoo1 who sat listening silently with her eyebrows drawn together in a pent frown of puzzled attention4 ,i see1 ,i see1 he said hastily4 ,and here ,julian broke in4 ,but the whole thing's impossible1 he said with a laugh4 ,you would say so1 doctor8 ,valentine addressed this question to ,doctor ,levillier in a very marked and urgent manner4 ,you would say so1 since the will of man cannot perform miracles8 ,certainly1 ,i should say so1 despite the triumphs of hypnotism4 ,a man may change greatly through outside influence1 or perform occasional acts foreign to his nature under the influence of 'suggestion' or hypnotism4 ,but ,i do not believe he can change radically and permanently1 except from one cause4 ,the last words were spoken after a moment of hesitation4 ,valentine rejoined quickly3 ,what8 ,what8 ,one cause1 you say6 ,you allow that--wait1 though6 ,what is the cause8 ,doctor ,levillier was silent4 ,he was asking himself should he play this forcing card1 make this sharp1 cutting experiment4 ,he resolved that he would make it4 ,a man may change radically1 he said1 if he becomes insane4 ,a short breath1 like a sigh1 came from ,cuckoo4 ,valentine stood quite still1 regarding the doctor closely for a moment4 ,then he said contemptuously3 ,mad6 ,oh1 madmen don't interest me4 ,the doctor had gained nothing from his experiment4 ,it was impossible to gather from ,valentine's manner that he was in any way struck by this suggestion1 and indeed he abandoned all allusion to it with careless haste1 and returned to that other suggestion of which the doctor himself had thought nothing4 ,supposing the soul of a man to be expelled1 he said1 abruptly1 where--where do you suppose it would go1 would be8 ,it was obvious that he endeavoured to speak lightly1 but there was a most peculiar anxiety visible in his manner4 ,the doctor wondered from what cause it sprang4 ,i have never formed a supposition on that matter1 he said4 ,well--well--try to form one now4 ,yes1 and you1 ,julian1 too4 ,he did not address himself to the lady of the feathers1 but he looked at her long and narrowly4 ,the doctor lit another cigarette4 ,he seemed to be seriously considering this odd question4 ,julian1 whose lethargy was changing into an almost equally pronounced excitement1 was not so hesitating4 ,as if struck by a sudden flashing idea1 he exclaimed3 ,how if it was in the air8 ,how if it was wandering about from place to place4 ,by ,god1 ,val6 he cried1 with emphasis1 do you know what ,i read in a book ,i took up from your shelves the other day--something about souls being like flames8 ,it was in ,rossetti3 ,flames6 ,he turned to ,cuckoo and stared into her eyes4 ,i was half asleep when ,i read it1 he said4 ,why should ,i remember it now8 ,that flame--,i saw that flame months ago4 ,he seemed like a man puzzling something out1 trying to trace a way through a tangled maze of thought that yet might be clear4 ,it came from you1 ,val1 that night1 with a cry like a lost thing4 ,a soul expelled1 did you say8 ,suddenly his face was set in an awestruck gravity4 ,why--but then1 if so1 that flame would be you4 ,valentine1 the flame that seemed to haunt me1 that ,i have seen in-- ,he looked at ,cuckoo again and was silent4 ,yes1 ,julian8 ,valentine said in a hard1 thin voice4 ,go on1 ,i am listening4 ,julian stared at him with strong excitement4 ,and what are you1 then1 ,valentine8 ,where do you come from8 he said slowly4 ,from ,marr4 ,the words came from the divan1 from the dry lips of ,cuckoo4 ,doctor ,levillier knew not why1 but he was thrilled to the very soul by them1 as by a revelation throwing strong light upon the depths of things4 ,whether it was the influence of this strange scented room1 in which strange things had happened1 or the influence of the hour and the climax and death of the year1 or a voice in his heart speaking to him with authority1 he could not tell4 ,only he knew that on a sudden all his guiding reason1 all his knowledge1 all his cool contemplation of the physician and common sense of the man1 were swept entirely away4 ,his theory of insanity seemed in a moment the theory of a dwarf intellect trying to stick wretched1 absurd pins through angels--white or black--that it thought butterflies4 ,his conversation with ,cuckoo on the ,hampstead ,heights seemed the vain babble of a tricked and impotent observer4 ,his mind fell on its knees before the mind of the lady of the feathers4 ,reason was stricken by instinct4 ,the confused feeling of the woman had conquered the logical inferences of the man4 ,from that moment the doctor secretly abandoned the old landmarks which had guided him all his life1 and entered into a new world--a world in which he would not have dreamed of permitting any of his patients to walk if he could help it4 ,a strange magic floated round him like a mist blotting out the crude familiarities of the normal world4 ,the tentroom1 with its shadowy tulips1 its scented warmth1 its pale twilight1 its quick silences when voices ceased1 was a temple of wonder and a home of the miraculous4 ,and those gathered in it1 what were they8 ,men and a woman8 ,bodies8 ,earthly creatures8 ,no4 ,to his mind they were stripped bare of the clothes in which man--governed by decrees of some hidden power--must make his life pilgrimage4 ,they were stripped bare and naked of their bodies4 ,they were warm1 stirring1 disembodied things--they were flames leaping1 waving1 contending1 aspiring4 ,and he remembered the night when he sat alone in the drawing-room of ,valentine1 and saw the red walls glow1 and the light deepen1 and saw the stillness grow to movement1 and the shadows come away from their background1 and take forms--the forms of flames4 ,was that night a night of prophesy8 ,were those flames silent voices speaking to the ear of his mind8 ,he looked around him like a man in a strange country1 who takes a long breath and liberates his soul in wonder4 ,he looked around1 and the shadowy1 thin girl leaning forward on the divan1 with one arm outstretched as if she gave a message1 was among the other flames as a flame upon an altar4 ,at least his instinct had not played him false with regard to her4 ,he knew it now4 ,in the wild and sad streets1 where feet of men tread ever1 where tears of women flow ever1 grow flowers of ,paradise1 strange flowers1 leap flames from the eternal fires of heaven4 ,and the voice of ,cuckoo thrilled him as the voice of revelation4 ,valentine turned upon the lady of the feathers1 hearing her cry4 ,marr6 he said1 your lover who died6 ,ah6 ,the brutality of the remark was so unexpected1 so savage1 that it struck all those who heard it like a whip4 ,cuckoo shrank back among her cushions trembling4 ,julian made a slight forward movement as if to stop ,valentine4 ,the doctor laid his hands on the arms of his chair and pressed them hard4 ,he felt a need of physical energy4 ,in the sudden silence ,valentine touched the electric bell4 ,before any one spoke it was answered by ,wade1 who carried a tray on which stood various bottles and glasses4 ,we must counteract the exciting effects of our caf noir1 ,valentine said1 addressing his guests in a group4 ,otherwise we shall be strung up to a pitch of tension that will make us think the requiem of church bells1 which we shall hear in a few minutes1 the voices of spirits or of spectres4 ,julian1 here is your absinthe4 ,what will you drink1 ,miss ,bright8 ,brandy1 lemonade1 whiskey8 ,lemonade1 please1 ,cuckoo said1 almost in a whisper4 ,the tears were crowding in her eyes4 ,she dared not look ,julian in the face4 ,never before had her past risen up before her painted in such grim and undying colours4 ,the reprise of ,valentine had been as the reprise of a ,maxim gun to a volley fired by a child from an air-tube4 ,so ,cuckoo felt4 ,but how greatly was she deceived6 ,perhaps physical conditions played a subtle part in the terrible desolation that seized her now1 after her outburst of daring and of excitement4 ,the warmth and smallness of the room1 the penetrating scent that filled it1 even the movements of her companions1 the sound of their voices1 suddenly became almost insupportable to ,cuckoo4 ,she was the victim of a reaction that was so swift and so intense as to be unnatural4 ,and in it both her mind and body were bound in chains4 ,then she was petrified4 ,her very heart felt cold and cramped1 and then hard1 icy1 inhuman4 ,her tears did not fall1 but were dried up in her eyes1 like dew by a scorching sun4 ,she looked at ,julian1 and felt as indifferent towards him as if he had been a shadow on the grass in the evening time4 ,then he became remote1 with a removedness attained by no shadow even4 ,for a shadow is in the world1 and ,julian seemed beyond the world to ,cuckoo4 ,she thought1 even repeated1 with tiny lip-movements1 the cruel words of ,valentine1 and they seemed to her no longer cruel1 or of any meaning1 bad or good4 ,for they came from too far away4 ,they were as a cry of shrill music from a cave leagues onward beyond the caves of any winds4 ,valentine poured out some lemonade and gave it to her4 ,she accepted it mechanically4 ,she even put it to her lips and drank some of it4 ,but her palate was aware of no flavour1 no coolness of liquid4 ,and she continued sipping without tasting anything4 ,meanwhile ,julian was saying to ,valentine3 ,i don't think ,i'll take any absinthe to-night4 ,give me some lemonade too4 ,lemonade for you8 ,nonsense4 ,i ordered the absinthe specially4 ,you must have some4 ,here it is4 ,as he spoke he poured some of the opalescent liquid into a tumbler and handed it to ,julian4 ,while he did so his eyes were on the doctor and they gleamed again with a sort of audacity or triumph4 ,he seemed recovering himself1 returning to his former mood and veiled intentions4 ,and ,doctor ,levillier thought he saw the flame of ,valentine's soul glow more deeply and fiercely4 ,the three men1 as if with one accord1 ignored the lady of the feathers at this period of the evening4 ,valentine1 having shot his bolt1 left his victim to shudder in the dust4 ,julian and the doctor1 full of pity or of wonder1 were drawn instinctively to leave her for the moment outside of the circle of intimacy1 lest the conflict should be renewed4 ,they did not know how far outside of it she felt2 how dim the twilight was becoming to her eyes2 how dim the voices to her ears4 ,she lay back on her pillows1 in the shadow of the divan1 and they supposed her to be listening1 as before1 to what they said2 to be drawing into her nostrils the scent of the hyacinths1 and into her soul--it might be--some fragments of their uttered thoughts4 ,but for the moment they seemed to put her outside the door4 ,julian did not protest against the absinthe4 ,he took it and placed it on a little table beside him1 and as he talked he occasionally drank a little of it1 till his glass was empty4 ,valentine had again looked at his watch4 ,the flame of the year is flickering very low1 he said4 ,this simile of the flame of the year1 so ordinary1 he had spoken against his will4 ,he asked himself angrily why he had said flame1 and again the doctor saw the flame of ,valentine's soul trying to leap higher1 to aspire to some strange and further region than that in which it seemed to dwell4 ,julian sat looking at ,valentine with a gaze that was surely new in his eyes1 the dawning gaze of inquiry which a man directs upon a stranger just come into his life4 ,he had not alluded in any way to ,cuckoo's startling and vehement interposition4 ,valentine had killed that conversation with one blow1 it seemed4 ,they buried it by deserting it4 ,yet the thought of it was obviously with them1 making quick interchange of words on another subject difficult4 ,valentine had seized again on the poor1 prostrate year2 yet he carried even to it the memory of that which seemed to encompass them as with a ring of fire1 and that despite himself4 ,we shall hear the bells directly1 he added4 ,i hate bells at night4 ,they will sound odd in this room4 ,very odd1 the doctor said4 ,we ought to sit reviewing our past year1 ,valentine went on4 ,our past year and all it has done for us4 ,do you think it has done much for you1 ,addison8 the doctor asked4 ,and1 despite his intention1 there was a certain significance in his tone4 ,julian looked rather grave and moody1 yet excited too1 like a man who might burst into either gaiety or anger at a moment's notice4 ,i suppose it has1 he answered4 ,yes1 more than any year since ,i was quite a boy4 ,it has taught you how to live1 ,valentine said quickly4 ,or how to--die1 the doctor could not resist saying4 ,why do you say that1 doctor8 ,valentine asked sharply4 ,julian is neither sick nor sad2 are you1 ,julian8 ,oh1 ,i don't know4 ,don't bother about me4 ,but ,valentine seemed suddenly determined that ,julian should state in precise terms his contentment with his present fate4 ,you are making your grand tour towards happiness1 he exclaimed4 ,dessert1 caf noir--then the cigarette and contentment4 ,i have had the caf noir1 ,julian said1 indicating his empty cup1 which ,wade had by accident omitted to clear away4 ,i have had the cigarette4 ,well4 ,what then8 ,are you unhappy8 ,i tell you ,i don't know4 ,give me some more absinthe4 ,the doctor watched his excitement growing as he drank4 ,it seemed an excitement adverse to ,valentine4 ,one may have too much black coffee1 he suddenly said4 ,and that exerts a very depressing effect upon the nerves1 said the doctor1 taking him literally4 ,neither you nor ,i are likely to sleep well to-night1 ,addison4 ,i never sleep well now1 doctor1 ,julian said4 ,all this time he continued to regard ,valentine in the peculiar1 observant manner of a stranger who is trying to make up his mind about the unfamiliar man at whom he looks4 ,then you should not drink black coffee4 ,as he spoke a very faint sound of bells penetrated to the tentroom4 ,the psychological moment6 said ,valentine4 ,and then they were all silent1 listening4 ,to the doctor1 the prey of magic art since the soft cry of the lady of the feathers1 the bells seemed magical and strange to-night1 thin and dreamy and remote4 ,they rang outside the circle of the flames1 yet they1 too1 had an eerie meaning4 ,nor did their music come1 he thought1 from any church tower1 from any belfry1 summoned by the tugging hands of men4 ,very softly they rang4 ,their sound was deadened by the thick draperies4 ,they ceased4 ,my year is born1 ,valentine said4 ,your year8 the doctor repeated4 ,yes4 ,i feel that in this year ,i shall culminate2 ,i shall touch a point2 ,i shall put the corner-stone to the temple of my ambition4 ,no one can prevent me now1 no one4 ,look1 she has fainted6 ,he had been watching ,cuckoo1 and had seen her posture of mere rest change1 almost imperceptibly1 to the prostration of insensibility4 ,the doctor sprang up from his chair4 ,julian uttered an exclamation4 ,valentine only smiled4 ,the door was opened4 ,a fan was used4 ,air was let into the room4 ,presently ,cuckoo stirred and sat up4 ,the three men were gathered round her1 and suddenly ,valentine said3 ,my trance over again4 ,the lady of the feathers imitates me4 ,julian turned round to him with abrupt irritation4 ,that's not so1 he said4 ,cuckoo is herself always4 ,he turned again to her4 ,are you better8 he asked1 touching her hand gently4 ,yes1 ,i'm all right4 ,it was--them4 ,she glanced vaguely round at the tulips1 as if searching for the cause of the scent which filled the room4 ,there are hyacinths somewhere1 the doctor said4 ,yes1 they are hidden6 said ,valentine4 ,a hidden power is the greatest power4 ,but now you may see them4 ,and he drew from a nook1 guarded by some large ferns1 a pot of red hyacinths4 ,cuckoo sat up and drank a little brandy1 which the doctor gave to her4 ,some colour came into her pale and thin cheeks4 ,i'm as right as ninepence now1 she said1 with an effort after brightness4 ,the bells began again4 ,what's that8 she asked4 ,not ,new ,year1 is it8 ,yes1 answered ,valentine4 ,a happy ,new ,year to you1 lady of the feathers4 ,julian was struck by a sudden thought4 ,val1 he said1 ,cuckoo1 ,i want you to be real friends this year4 ,he caught hold of ,valentine's hand and placed it in ,cuckoo's4 ,but then1 again1 a bewilderment seemed to take hold of him1 for even as he touched ,valentine's hand he looked at him askance1 and the eagerness died away from his face4 ,i don't know1 he muttered to himself1 and getting up from the end of the divan1 where he had been sitting1 he moved away towards the fire1 leaving ,cuckoo's hand in the hand of ,valentine4 ,valentine smiled coldly on ,cuckoo4 ,lady of the feathers1 he said1 we are to be allies4 ,what's that8 she asked1 pulling her hand away1 directly ,julian had turned his back upon them4 ,when people fight together against a common enemy they are allies4 ,then we ain't1 she whispered1 ,new ,year or not4 ,you defy me1 he said1 raising his voice so that the doctor might hear the words4 ,yes1 she said4 ,doctor1 do you hear8 ,he seemed suddenly bent on forcing a quarrel4 ,doctor ,levillier felt again that sense of dread and horror which had attacked him now more than once of late in ,valentine's presence4 ,this time the sensation was so acute that he could scarcely combat it sufficiently to reply4 ,i hear1 he murmured4 ,julian6 ,valentine called4 ,julian1 come here4 ,miss ,bright wishes to tell you something4 ,julian turned round4 ,now1 lady of the feathers6 ,but ,cuckoo burst into a shrill little laugh4 ,her head was spinning again4 ,i've nothing--nothing to say1 she cried out4 ,give me some more brandy4 ,very well4 ,let us all drink to the health of the ,new ,year4 ,valentine filled the glasses--,julian's with absinthe--and gave the toast3 ,the ,new ,year6 ,they all raised their glasses to their lips simultaneously4 ,one fell with a crash to the ground and was broken4 ,it was ,julian's4 ,i won't drink it1 he said1 doggedly1 looking at ,valentine4 ,there was a silence4 ,then ,valentine said1 calmly3 ,have you an animus against the thing you don't yet know8 ,it was sufficiently obvious that he alluded to the year just coming in upon ,london4 ,but the words were taken by the doctor1 and apparently by ,julian1 in a hidden and different sense4 ,perhaps because ,i don't yet know it thoroughly1 and had thought ,i did1 ,julian answered1 staring him full in the face still with that strange glance of mingled interrogation and bewilderment4 ,valentine watched him4 ,you are treating the poor thing--and my carpet--scurvily1 ,julian1 he said4 ,and you have startled ,miss ,bright4 ,cuckoo's eyes were shining4 ,no1 she ejaculated4 ,valentine rang the bell and directed ,wade to collect the fragments of glass4 ,while the man was doing so silence again reigned1 and the little room seemed full of uneasiness4 ,only ,valentine either was or affected to be nonchalant4 ,as soon as ,wade had gone he said to the doctor3 ,this room is destined to be dedicated to strange uses1 and to influence those who come within it4 ,julian is not himself to-night4 ,are you8 ,julian asked4 ,myself8 ,yes4 ,my dear ,julian1 we shall be forced to think the absinthe has been at work too busily in your brain4 ,what is the matter8 ,nothing4 ,one would think we had been having a sitting1 you are so excited4 ,julian suddenly drew his breath sharply1 as if struck by a shot of an idea4 ,let us have one1 he cried4 ,the distant bells rang faintly4 ,the doctor thrilled to the suggestion1 still bound by magic1 surely4 ,for now1 since the inspiring exclamation of ,cuckoo1 which had broken his theories on the wheel and swept his reason like a dead flower along the wind1 he no longer condemned1 as a danger only1 that which had produced the trance from which1 as from a strange prison1 had come the new ,valentine4 ,the former sitting had1 it seemed1 beckoned that trance1 and with the trance had beckoned an incredibly evil and powerful thing4 ,what if that which had the power to give had also the power to take away8 ,often it is so in ordinary conditions of life4 ,why not also in extraordinary conditions8 ,so his thoughts ran1 fantastically enough1 to the sound of the far-off bells4 ,a good notion1 he said on the spur of the moment and this quick reflection4 ,you think so8 said ,valentine4 ,you who condemned us1 even wrung a promise from us against sitting4 ,his regard was suspicious4 ,perhaps ,i have changed my mind4 ,perhaps ,i take the matter less seriously1 said the doctor4 ,he had never been more near lying1 nor was he ashamed of his dissimulation4 ,there are creatures against which we must1 whatever our principles1 take up the nearest weapon that comes to hand4 ,the doctor looked at ,julian and at ,valentine1 and could have perjured himself a thousand times to wrest the one from the other4 ,but ,miss ,bright is ill1 said ,valentine4 ,no1 ,i ain't4 ,i'm all right now1 ,cuckoo said4 ,she did not understand what was being proposed1 but she gathered that the doctor desired it4 ,that was enough for her4 ,valentine looked at them all three with eyes that plainly betokened a busy mind1 then a smile flickered over his lips4 ,it was the smile of one in power watching his slaves creeping at their work--for him4 ,he touched the point--of which he had spoken earlier in the evening--in that smile1 a point of delirium4 ,let them try to break me1 his mind said within itself4 ,their very trial shall consolidate my empire4 ,and then his eyes left the others and rested only on ,julian4 ,very well1 we will sit1 he said4 ,,chapter ,,iv ,,the ,,sixth ,,sitting ,julian was painfully excited1 but he strove to repress all evidences of his inward turmoil as he began to pull out a table and arrange it in the centre of the room4 ,this act threw him with a jerk back into the days of the past1 recalling so vividly the former life of himself and ,valentine that he could not help saying3 ,this is like last year4 ,like the year that the locust hath eaten1 ,valentine answered4 ,we must push our empty white years down into the water1 ,julian4 ,julian made no reply4 ,the table was soon arranged1 the screen was drawn more closely round the fire1 which had been allowed to burn low4 ,four chairs were set4 ,valentine turned to ,cuckoo1 who sat hunched on the divan staring with wide open eyes at these preparations4 ,will you come8 he said1 with his hands on the back of one of the chairs4 ,whatever are we going to do8 she asked nervously4 ,something very simple--and perhaps very foolish1 said the doctor1 wondering1 indeed1 now the moment for beginning the phantasy was arrived1 whether he was not to blame for encouraging a thing that in his under mind he so thoroughly disapproved of4 ,we are going to sit round that table in the dark with our hands upon it1 and wait4 ,whatever for8 ,her simple and blatant question caused the doctor actually to blush4 ,his confusion was quite obvious1 but it was covered by ,julian1 who exclaimed1 rather roughly3 ,now1 ,cuckoo1 don't chatter1 but come here and sit quiet4 ,he drew her from the divan into a chair and sat down beside her4 ,valentine glided swiftly into the chair on her other side and said3 ,oh1 doctor1 ,i forgot the light4 ,do you mind turning it out8 ,the doctor obeyed1 felt his way to the chair opposite ,cuckoo and sat down4 ,almost at the moment he turned out the light the bells that rang1 ,le roi est mort1 vive le roi1 ceased4 ,cuckoo was directed to lay her hands on the table1 and to touch with her fingers the fingers of her companions4 ,she did so1 trembling4 ,this was a new experience to her1 and her entire lack of knowledge of what was expected to happen filled the darkness with immoderate possibilities1 and her soul with awe and with confusion4 ,then1 to sit between the man she loved and the man she loathed1 thus in the blackness1 was a nerve-shaking experience which her preceding fainting-fit did not deprive of its normal terrors4 ,the hand of ,valentine and the hand of ,julian were as ice and as fire to her4 ,the darkness seemed crowded with nameless things4 ,she could fancy that she heard it whisper incessantly in her ear4 ,but the real interest of this sitting1 to any little demon gifted with a miraculous power of pushing its detective way into the minds of the sitters1 would have lain1 perhaps1 chiefly in the mind of ,doctor ,levillier4 ,it has been said that1 suddenly struck to the soul by the conviction with which the instinctive ,cuckoo pronounced those words1 ,from ,marr1 ,doctor ,levillier entered into a new world1 abandoning old landmarks4 ,he remained in this new world of the senses certainly1 but already he was becoming accustomed to it1 clear-headed1 keen-sighted1 even reasonable in it4 ,moved by some strange conviction that he was in the presence of an inexplicable mystery1 he no longer tried to explain it in some ordinary fashion4 ,he abandoned his theory of insanity1 or it abandoned him4 ,in any case1 it was dead1 buried1 whether he would or no4 ,he recognized a mystery at present beyond his capacity to understand or to explain4 ,having got thus far1 and having entered1 at ,julian's word1 into this present circumstance of sitting1 table-turning1 or rapping1 or whatever you may choose to call it1 he cleared any ordinary furniture of doctor's prejudices right out of his mind--made a clean sweep of them4 ,that done--and the doing of it required some strong effort--his mind was receptive1 ready for anything1 odd or ordinary1 that might come along4 ,there he sat with his empty room waiting to be filled--the only reasonable way of waiting for that of which we have no knowledge4 ,he did not clamour ,i won't1 or ,i will4 ,he said nothing at all1 only waited with the strict desire and intention of recognizing things to be what they truly were1 neither dressing them up nor tearing their garments off their backs4 ,when he put out the light and sat down1 what he expected--so far as he expected anything--was this1 that the addition of darkness would add a cloud to his mind1 and endeavour to give various finishing-touches to any spurious excitement created in him1 however much against his will1 by the enemy's doings4 ,in this expectation he was entirely deceived4 ,the falling of darkness drew a veil from his mind1 leaving his mental sight singularly1 even preternaturally1 clear4 ,the falling of silence gave an amazing acuteness to his inner sense of hearing4 ,certain people are so made that they can1 under certain conditions1 and at certain moments1 hear the workings of their neighbours' minds1 as you and ,i can hear the whirr of machinery1 or the cry of a child in the street4 ,an ordinary man or woman can only hear a mind when lips1 teeth1 and tongue utter it with living sounds that set the air in vibration4 ,these abnormal people hear1 in these abnormal moments1 the silent murmurs of the mind making no effort at all to utter itself through the usual speech apparatus4 ,till this moment the doctor had supposed himself to be an entirely normal man1 but he had been sitting only a very short time before he began to become aware of the silent murmurs of these three minds around him4 ,the darkness set his own mind free from clouds of excitement and from mists of unreason4 ,that was the first step4 ,but it did more4 ,it developed in him this marvellous faculty of the hearing of silence1 called by some divination4 ,all his senses were rendered amazingly acute4 ,a perfectly distinct impression of the precise feelings of ,cuckoo1 of ,valentine1 and of ,julian respectively came to him as he sat there1 although he could neither see nor hear them4 ,each of them seemed to pour his or her thoughts into the doctor's mind4 ,thus1 at first1 did his empty room become furnished with the thoughts of his companions4 ,he was sitting in the circle between ,julian and ,valentine and held their hands4 ,and it was ,valentine who forged the first link in this strange chain of unuttered communication4 ,as the darkness cleared the doctor's mind1 and set him once more on his feet--although in a new world--an aroma of triumph floated to him softly1 like a scent in a damp wood at night4 ,he heard then the mind of ,valentine murmuring in the stillness the ,litany of its glory1 a long and an ornate ,litany1 deep and full1 and he knew that he had been right in supposing that ,valentine had invited him to witness that glory4 ,but the doctor became aware1 too1 that at moments the ,litany faltered1 hesitated1 as if the mind of ,valentine grew uncertain or was assailed by vague fears4 ,and these fears ran like little pale furtive things to ,valentine from the lady of the feathers4 ,by degrees the doctor could imagine that he actually saw them stealing back and forth4 ,now one would come alone as if to listen to the ,litany1 and then another would follow1 and another1 and1 growing brave1 they would combine against it4 ,then ,valentine would waver and become uneasy1 as one who hears little voices crying against him in the night1 and knows not whence they come or from whom4 ,but the ,litany would begin again1 and ,valentine would triumph over the pale fears and they would shrink away4 ,and in the ,litany one name recurred again and again--the name of ,julian4 ,over him was the triumph4 ,in his ruin and fall and ultimate destruction the glory lived4 ,to witness the complete possibility of this ruin1 the complete sovereignty of this glory1 the doctor and the lady of the feathers were there4 ,and the doctor grew to feel that only some outside circumstance1 alarming ,valentine to anxiety and waking ,julian to a new observation1 had hindered the intended triumph4 ,what circumstance was that8 ,he looked back along the past evening and found it in himself1 in his theory that a soul expelled was not necessarily a soul dead4 ,the rift in the glory of the ,litany came with that4 ,valentine was trying to close it by this act of sitting1 to impress the strength of his will upon his companions in the darkness4 ,the doctor felt his effort like a continually repeated blow1 stealthy and hard and merciless4 ,and now1 in the darkness and in the silence1 the doctor heard the mind of ,julian4 ,another scent floated through that imagined damp and breathing wood from another--but how different--soul-flower4 ,no ,litany of triumph murmured in the blackness where ,julian sat1 but a hoarse and broken solo1 part despair1 part fear1 part anger1 and all perplexed and flooded with bewilderment and with excitement4 ,the doctor drew into him the murmur of ,julian's mind until it seemed to become1 for the time1 the murmur of his own mind4 ,he was conscious of a dreadful turmoil of doubt1 and dread and perplexity1 so strong1 so painful1 that it lay upon him like a dense and a suffocating burden4 ,in that moment he knew utterly that the greatest load in the world laid on any man is the load of his own1 perhaps beloved1 sin4 ,he was staggering wearily with ,julian away from the light4 ,his eyes were dim--with the eyes of ,julian4 ,his ears1 like ,julian's1 were assailed with the dastard clamour of the calling sin4 ,listen6 ,listen6 you want me4 ,i am here4 ,take me6 ,take me6 ,and the weltering seas of heavy flooding impotence rolled round him as they rolled round ,julian4 ,he grew numb and vacant and inert1 then--alive ever to the murmur of ,julian's mind--caught a glimpse1 through the waters of that whelming sea1 of far-away light1 and heard that the voices of the importunate sins grew fainter4 ,but whether the voices were loud or low1 whether the seas flowed above his head or sank and failed1 he was always conscious of the dominating mood of almost wild perplexity and a madness of bewilderment4 ,for ,julian stirred under the yoke that ,valentine had laid upon him1 as if at last conscious distinctly that it was indeed a yoke1 and that it galled him2 as if at last conscious1 too1 that without that yoke was freedom4 ,and he shot against ,valentine in the darkness arrows of inquiry4 ,but always he lived in doubt and almost in terror4 ,and then1 detaching himself from the triumph1 touched with anxiety1 of ,valentine1 and from the wild turmoil of ,julian1 ,dr4 ,levillier opened the door of his mind wide1 and the lady of the feathers entered in4 ,he heard the thoughts of a woman4 ,that was strangest of all--the most fantastic1 eerie1 wayward1 wonderful music the doctor had dreamed of4 ,have you listened to far-off and mingling melodies at night--melodies of things opposed and differing1 yet drawn together1 in strange places far from your home8 ,have you heard a woman wailing over some abominable sorrow in a dark house1 and an organ--before which filthy children dance fantastically--playing a merry ,neapolitan tune in front of it1 while the mutter of scowling men comes from the blazing corner where the gin-palace faces the night8 ,there you have sorrow1 sunshine1 crime1 singing together in a great city4 ,or have you stood in a land not your own1 and gleaned the whisper of an ancient river1 the sough of a desert wind1 the hoarse and tuneless song of a black man at a waterwheel1 the soprano ballad of a warbling hotel ,english lady1 and the remote and throbbing roar of a savage ,soudanese hymn and beaten drums from the golden ,eastern night8 ,there you have nature1 toil1 shrill civilization and war claiming you with one effort in a sad and sweet country4 ,or have you1 in a bright and dewy morning1 heard the murmur of folk at their prayers1 the drone of a church organ1 and1 beyond the hedgerow1 two graceless lovers quarrelling1 and an atheist1 leaning over the church gate1 sneering to his fellow at the devotion of deluded ,sabbath-keepers8 ,there you have love of the hidden and faith1 love of the visible and distrust1 hatred of hidden love and faithlessness1 making a symphony for you4 ,such mingled music is strange--strange as life4 ,but to the doctor the music of this girl1 ,cuckoo1 in the dark seemed stranger and more eerie far4 ,her mind sang to him of a thousand things in a moment1 as is the fashion of women4 ,only men normally hear but one1 at most two or three1 of the many feminine melodies4 ,and now ,doctor ,levillier heard them all1 as a man may hear those differing songs already recounted1 simultaneously and clearly4 ,degradation and the hopelessness that catches it by the hand1 passion and the strength and purity of passion1 hatred1 fear1 physical fatigue1 ignorant nervousness1 grossness of the gutter1 which will cling even to a soul capable of great devotion and noble effort1 and accompany it on the upward journey1 very far and very high1 resolve and shrinking1 mere street-boy virulence of enmity1 and mere angel tenderness of pity--all these sang their song from the mind and heart of ,cuckoo to the mind and heart of the doctor4 ,it was a chorus of women in one woman1 as it so often is in the dearest women we know4 ,in that choir a harlot sat1 hating1 by a girl who was all love and reverence4 ,and they sang out of the same hymn-book4 ,jenny joined her voice with ,susannah1 ,mary ,magdalene with ,mary ,mother1 so near together in one thing1 so far apart in another--alike in this1 that both were singing4 ,and in that choir--celestial and infernal--sang the jealous woman with grey cheeks and haggard eyes1 and the timorous woman1 and she of the fearless face1 and the woman who could scale the stars for the creature she worshipped1 and the woman who could lie down in the mud and let the world see her there1 and the woman who had sold her soul for food1 and a thin woman1 such a thin1 almost transparent1 wistful creature1 who was facing the thing men call with bated breath--starvation4 ,she sang too1 but1 of all these women1 she was the only one the doctor could not rightly hear nor rightly see4 ,for she1 as yet1 was remote1 far down the level line of that choir1 hardly perhaps one with it yet1 faint of voice1 dim of outline4 ,the doctor heard the choir sing1 and then-- ,his mind1 as the time of the darkness grew longer1 continued to grow more and more clear1 until he felt thoroughly1 and was able to try to analyze its unnatural condition4 ,scales had fallen from him and from his companions for him4 ,their bodies were clothed1 their souls1 their flames1 seemed stripped bare and offered to him naked4 ,he had examined them with this greedy1 yet sane1 attention and curiosity4 ,he had led them into the empty room and stayed with them there4 ,he had heard the ,litany of the ,glory of ,valentine1 and the suffocation1 and the anger1 and the stirring beneath his yoke of ,julian4 ,he had heard the many women sing in the heart of the lady of the feathers4 ,but all this seemed leading him forward and onward1 step by step1 as to a threshold beyond which was some greater1 some more importunate1 thing4 ,and he took the last step with ,cuckoo4 ,it was as if he was handed on from one room to another1 as is the fashion in the palace of a great king1 his name being called in each1 and sent before1 like a voice sent on the wind1 and as if ,cuckoo was in the last anteroom that gave upon the audience-chamber4 ,now he had arrived1 and suddenly a great wave of mysterious expectation ran over him and filled the cup of his soul4 ,he felt that he stood still and waited4 ,the sense of ,cuckoo1 of all she felt and thought in the darkness1 gradually dropped away from him1 like leaves from a tree1 till every branch was leafless4 ,and this autumnal ravishment1 like the ravishment of nature1 was but a preparation surely for a future spring4 ,the doctor waited outside that door1 beyond which1 perhaps1 spring blossomed and sang4 ,he lost at last all sense of being in a company of people1 and felt as one feels who is entirely alone1 expectant1 calm1 ready4 ,and still only the darkness and the silence4 ,nothing more at first4 ,but presently what seemed to him a marvel4 ,he had by this time grown at ease with his power of thought-reading1 at ease with this new sense of the hearing of silence4 ,the differing scents of these three flowers hidden in the night had been breathed out to him4 ,with infallible certainty he had recognized each one1 differentiated the one from the other4 ,and as the scent of one flower had failed1 the scent of another had risen upon him1 until he had known the heart of each of the three4 ,then for a while was the night scentless1 silent1 blank1 empty4 ,but presently the doctor was aware of an uneasiness and of an anxiety stealing upon him4 ,whence it came he could not tell4 ,only this he knew1 that he received it from something1 but that it came neither from the lady of the feathers1 from ,valentine1 nor from ,julian4 ,from whom1 then1 could it emanate1 this weird eagerness1 this fluttering1 pulsing fear1 and hope1 and intention8 ,from himself only8 ,he asked himself that question4 ,was he communing in the dark with his own soul8 ,he knew that he was not4 ,the scent of this new and unknown flower grew stronger in the night1 more penetrating and intentional4 ,yet was it vaguer1 more distant1 than that emitted by those other three flowers4 ,the exact impression received by the doctor at this moment was very subtle4 ,precisely it was this3 ,it seemed to him that he was gradually coming into communication with a fourth mind1 or soul2 that this soul was actually more strong1 more vehement1 even more determined1 than the souls of his three companions1 but that some barrier removed it from him1 set it very far of4 ,the flame of a match held to a man's eyes may dazzle him more than the flame of a great fire on the horizon4 ,this new flame was as the latter in comparison to match-flames that had been flaring in the doctor's eyes4 ,and this great and distant flame burned slowly in a smoke of mystery and upon the verge of dense darkness4 ,never had the doctor known so peculiar1 and even awe-striking1 an experience as that which he now underwent4 ,what utterly bewildered him was the circumstance of this undoubted new and definite personality enclosed in this tiny room with him and with his three companions4 ,he was receiving the impression of the thoughts of a stranger4 ,yet there was no stranger in the chamber4 ,and he was vexed and curiously irritated by the fact of the impression being at the same time very vague and very violent1 like the cry of a man which reaches you faintly from a very long distance1 but which you feel instinctively to have been uttered with the frantic force of death or of despair4 ,and the mind of this stranger was tugging at the doctor's mind1 anxiously1 insistently4 ,there was a depth of distress in it that was as no mere human distress1 and that moved the doctor to a mood beyond the mood of tears or of prayers4 ,there came over him an awful sense of pity for this stranger-soul4 ,what had it done8 ,how was it circumstanced8 ,in what ghastly train of events did it move8 ,it was surely powerful and helpless at the same time2 a cripple with a mind on fire with fight2 ,samson blind4 ,he felt that it wanted something--of him1 or of his companions1 some light in its severe desolation4 ,deeper and deeper grew his horror and pity for it1 deeper and deeper his sense of its ill fate4 ,the woe of it was unearthly1 yet more than earthly woe4 ,similes came to the doctor to compare with its dreadful circumstance3 a child motherless in a world all winter2 a saint devoted to hell by some great error of ,god2 even one more blasphemous1 and more bizarre still--,god worsted by humanity1 and1 at the last1 helpless to reclaim the souls to which ,he had ,himself given being2 lonely ,god in a lonely heaven1 seeing far-off hell bursting with the countless multitudes of the writhing lost4 ,this last simile stayed with him4 ,he fancied1 he felt--not heard--the voice of this frustrate ,god calling to him3 ,do what ,i could not do4 ,strive to help ,my impotence4 ,a little--a little--and even yet hell would stand empty1 the vacant courts of heaven be filled4 ,act--act--act4 ,doctor1 why are you trembling8 ,why are you trembling8 ,it was the voice of ,valentine that spoke4 ,the doctor1 by an effort so painful that the memory of it remained with him to the end of his life1 recalled his mind from its journey4 ,trembling6 he said4 ,what do you mean8 ,i am all right4 ,i am quietly in my place4 ,how long have we been sitting8 ,an immense time ,i fancy4 ,it seems fruitless1 ,julian6 ,yes4 ,julian's voice sounded heavy and weary4 ,don't you think we had better stop8 ,if you like4 ,valentine got up and turned on the light4 ,then they saw that the lady of the feathers1 leaning back in her chair1 was fallen asleep1 no doubt from sheer weariness4 ,her face was very white1 and in sleep its expression had become ethereal and purified4 ,her thin hands still rested nervelessly upon the table4 ,she seemed like a little child that had known sorrow early1 and sought gently to lose the sense of it in rest4 ,cuckoo1 ,julian said1 leaning over her1 ,cuckoo6 ,she stirred and woke4 ,i'm awfully done1 she murmured1 in her street voice4 ,pardon6 ,she sat up4 ,i seemed as if ,i was put to sleep1 she said4 ,you were1 ,valentine answered her4 ,i willed that you should sleep4 ,he looked at the doctor1 and his eyes said3 ,i have had my triumph4 ,you witness it4 ,cuckoo reddened with anger1 but she said nothing4 ,did you feel anything1 ,julian8 ,valentine asked4 ,julian looked strangely hopeless4 ,nothing1 he said4 ,it's all different from what it was2 like a dead thing that used to be alive4 ,it seemed as if the sitting had filled him with a dogged despair4 ,a dead thing1 he repeated4 ,then he went over to the spirit-stand and poured himself out more absinthe4 ,and you1 doctor8 said ,valentine4 ,what did you feel8 ,i was thinking all the time1 he said1 of other things4 ,not of the table or of table-turning4 ,when he and ,cuckoo left the flat that night1 or rather in the chill first morning of the new year1 they left ,julian with ,valentine4 ,he said he would stay1 speaking in the voice of a man drugged almost into uncertainty of his surroundings4 ,,chapter ,v ,,the ,,lady ,,of ,,the ,,feathers ,,starves ,down in her dreary kitchen1 among her dingy pots and pans1 ,mrs4 ,brigg was filled with an anger that seemed to her as righteous as the anger of a ,puritan against ,museum-opening on ,sunday4 ,her ground-floor lodger was going to the bad4 ,analysed1 reduced to its essence1 that was her feeling about the lady of the feathers4 ,cuckoo had lived at number #djj for a considerable time4 ,being1 in some ways1 easy-going1 or perhaps one should say rather reckless1 she had given herself with a good enough grace to be plucked by the claws of the landlady4 ,she had endured being ruthlessly rooked1 with but little murmuring1 as do so many of her patient class1 accustomed to be the prey of each unit in the large congregation of the modern ,fates4 ,for months and years she had paid a preposterous price for her badly furnished little rooms4 ,she had been overcharged habitually for every morsel of food she ate1 every drop of beer or of tea she drank1 every fire that was kindled in her badly cleaned grate1 every candle that lighted her1 almost every match she struck4 ,she and ,mrs4 ,brigg had had many rows1 had1 times without number1 lifted up their respective voices in vituperation1 and shown command of large and vile vocabularies4 ,but these rows had not been on the occasion of the open cheating of the former by the latter4 ,fallen women1 as they are called1 seldom resent being cheated by those in whose houses they live4 ,rather do they expect the bleeding process as part of the penalty to be paid for a lost character4 ,the landlord of the leper is owed1 for his charity and tolerance1 good hard cash4 ,the landlady of the ,pariah puts down mentally in each added-up bill this item3 ,to loss of character--so much4 ,and the ,pariah understands and pays4 ,such is the recognized dispensation4 ,mrs4 ,brigg had had a fine time of robbery during the stay of ,cuckoo in her ugly house1 and1 in consequence1 a certain queer and slow respect for her lodger had very gradually grown up in her withered and gnarled old nature4 ,she had that feeling towards ,cuckoo that a bad boy1 too weak to steal apples1 has towards a bad boy not too weak to steal them4 ,it could hardly be called an actual liking4 ,of that the old creature in her nethermost ,hades was nearly incapable4 ,but she enjoyed seeing apples off the tree lying in her kitchen1 and so could have patted any hands that had gathered them nefariously4 ,so far as she looked into the future she saw there always ,cuckoo1 and herself robbing ,cuckoo comfortably1 faithfully1 unblamed and unrepentant1 while the years rolled along1 the leech ever at its sucking profession4 ,now this agreeable vision was abruptly changed4 ,this slide of the magic lantern was smashed to fragments4 ,and ,mrs4 ,brigg was filled with the righteous anger of a balked and venerable robber4 ,as a mother1 dependent upon the earnings of her child in some godly profession might feel on the abrupt and reasonless refusal of that child to continue in it1 so did ,mrs4 ,brigg feel now4 ,the lady of the feathers had1 for the moment at least1 given up her profession4 ,she sat at home with folded hands at night4 ,it was earth-shaking4 ,it stirred the depths of the ,brigg being4 ,quakings of a world in commotion were as nothing to it4 ,and the sweet ,brigg dream that had dawned on the last night of the old year1 dream of a rich toff in love with ,cuckoo and winding her up to gilded circles1 in which the fall of night set gay ladies bareheaded1 and scattered all feathered hats to limbo1 died childless and leaving no legacies4 ,certainly1 ,cuckoo was not making money on the quiet enough in one night to keep her as seven or fourteen nights would formerly have supplied4 ,mrs4 ,brigg questioned1 remonstrated1 stormed1 sulked1 was rude1 insinuating1 artful1 blunt1 and blackguardly--all to no purpose4 ,cuckoo would give no explanation of her conduct4 ,in the day she went out1 but ,mrs4 ,brigg was not to be deceived by that4 ,she based her observations and conclusions on weighty matters connected with the culinary art and with things about which her trained1 disgraceful intelligence could not be deceived4 ,cuckoo was falling into poverty4 ,in the eyes of ,brigg she had formerly been in touch with riches1 that is to say1 she had--so the landlady considered--lived well4 ,she had got along without falling into debt4 ,the exorbitant rent1 regularly earned1 had been as regularly paid4 ,the ,brigg perquisites had not been disputed4 ,no watchful eye had been directed upon the claws that grabbed and clung1 the fingers that filched and retained4 ,but now was come a devastating change4 ,cuckoo grown1 or growing1 poor was no longer easy-going4 ,living much less well1 she also began to keep a sharp eye on all she had4 ,if it went mysteriously1 without explanatory action of her own1 she called loudly on ,brigg for enlightment4 ,where had it gone8 ,the old lady1 disgusted to be brought to subterfuge1 a thing to which she was frankly unaccustomed1 lied freely and with a good courage4 ,but her lies did not stand her in much stead with ,cuckoo1 who had1 from the start1 no intention whatever of believing any word she might say4 ,so war of a novel kind came about between them4 ,mrs4 ,brigg was forced to live and hear herself named thief1 a distressing circumstance which she could scarcely surmount with dignity1 whatever she might manage in the way of fortitude4 ,denial only armed forces for the attack4 ,battles were numerous and violent4 ,cuckoo1 who had in some directions no perception at all of what was humiliating1 took to measuring proportions of legs of mutton going down to ,hades and remeasuring them on their return4 ,if the inches did not tally1 ,mrs4 ,brigg knew it4 ,her soul revolted against such surveyor's work on meat that her own hands had cooked4 ,she called ,cuckoo names1 and was called worse names in reply4 ,but still the measurings went on1 and still ,cuckoo spent her evenings within doors1 sometimes without a fire in the winter cold4 ,mrs4 ,brigg therefore said within herself that ,cuckoo had gone to the bad1 and beheld1 with fancy's agitated eye1 a time in the near future when not only prequisites would be no more1 but the very rent itself would be in jeopardy4 ,fury sparkled in her heart4 ,meanwhile the situation of ,cuckoo above stairs was becoming at once sordid and tragic4 ,starvation is always sordid4 ,it exposes cheek-bones1 puts sharp points on elbows1 writes ugliness over a face1 and sets a wolf crouching in the heart4 ,tragic it must always be1 for a peculiar sorrow walks with it2 but when it is obstinate1 and springs from the mule in a human being1 the tragedy has a lustre1 a colour of its own4 ,the lady of the feathers was forever obstinate4 ,she had been obstinate in vice1 she was now obstinate in virtue4 ,in the old days ,julian had said to her1 ,take some of my money and let the streets alone--even for one night4 ,she had refused4 ,now ,doctor ,levillier had said to her1 ,prove your will4 ,lean on it4 ,do something for ,julian4 ,she could only do this one thing4 ,she could only leave the street6 ,with frowning1 staring obstinacy she left it4 ,there was always something pathetically blind about ,cuckoo's proceedings4 ,she was not lucid4 ,but once she had grasped an idea she was like the limpet on the rock4 ,so now she sat at home4 ,out of her earnings she had managed to save a very little money4 ,one or two men had made her small presents from time to time4 ,for a little while she could exist4 ,as she sat alone on those strange new evenings she did much mental arithmetic1 calculating how long1 with these reduced expenses1 which brought ,mrs4 ,brigg's so low1 she could live without earning4 ,sad sums were these1 whether rightly or wrongly worked out4 ,the time must be short4 ,and afterwards8 ,this question drove ,cuckoo out in the mornings1 vaguely seeking an occupation4 ,she knew that ,london was full of good girls1 who went forth to work while she lay in bed in the morning1 and came home to tea1 and one boiled egg and watercress1 when she started out in the evening4 ,so she put on her hat and jacket and went forth to find out what work they did1 and whether she could join in it4 ,those were variegated pilgrimages full of astonishment4 ,cuckoo would stroll along the road till she saw1 perhaps1 a girl who looked good--that is1 as unlike herself as possible--descend into the frost1 or the mud from a bus4 ,then she would dog the footsteps of this girl1 find out where she went1 with a view of deducing from it what she did4 ,in this manner she once came to a sewing-machine shop in ,praed ,street1 on the trail of a bright-looking stranger1 who walked gaily as to pleasant toil4 ,cuckoo remained outside while the stranger went in and disappeared4 ,she examined the window--rows of sewing-machines1 beyond them the dressed head of a woman in a black silk gown4 ,what did the stranger do here to gain a living1 and that bright smile of hers8 ,suddenly ,cuckoo walked into the shop and up to the lady with the dressed head4 ,a machine1 ma'am8 said the lady1 with a very female look at ,cuckoo4 ,cuckoo shook her head4 ,what can ,i do for you8 ,i'd like some work4 ,work6 said the lady1 her voice travelling from the contralto to the soprano register4 ,i ain't got nothing to do4 ,i want something2 ,i'll do anything1 like she does1 this1 with a nod in the direction of a door through which the pleasant stranger had vanished4 ,miss ,king2 our bookkeeper6 ,you know her8 ,no4 ,i only see her in the street4 ,good morning1 came from the lady1 and a back confronted ,cuckoo4 ,the pilgrimages were resumed4 ,cuckoo visited dressmakers1 bonnet-shops1 ,,abc establishments1 with no success4 ,her face1 even when unpainted1 told its tale4 ,nature can write down the truth of a sin better than art4 ,cuckoo learnt that fact by her walks4 ,but still she trudged1 learning each day more truths1 one of which--a finale to the long sermon1 it seemed--was that there is no army on earth more difficult to enlist in1 under certain circumstances her own1 than the army of good working-girls4 ,the day she thoroughly understood that finale ,cuckoo went home and had a violent row with ,mrs4 ,brigg4 ,a cold scrag of mutton was supposed to be the bone of contention1 but that was only supposition4 ,cuckoo was really cursing ,mrs4 ,brigg because the world is full of close boroughs1 not at all because cold mutton has not learnt how to achieve eternal life1 while at the same time fulfilling its duties as an edible4 ,not understanding this subtlety of emotion1 ,mrs4 ,brigg let herself loose in sarcasm4 ,why don't yer go out of a night8 she screamed1 battering with one hand on a tea-tray1 held perpendicularly1 to emphasize her words4 ,what's come to yer8 ,go out2 go out of a night4 ,shan't4 ,turned pious1 'ave yer8 sneered the landlady4 ,or waitin' for a 'usband8 ,which is it to be8 ,mr4 ,h',addison1 ,i dessey6 ,hee1 hee1 hee4 ,she burst into a bitter snigger4 ,cuckoo flushed scarlet and uttered words of the pavement4 ,any one hearing her then must have put her down as utterly unredeemed and irredeemable1 a harridan to bandy foul language with a cabman1 or to outvie a street-urchin bumped against by a rival in the newspaper trade4 ,she covered ,mrs4 ,brigg with abuse1 prompted by the gnawings at her heart1 the hunger of mind and body1 fear of the future1 wonder at the impossibilities of life4 ,her own greatness--for her love and following obstinate unselfishness1 without religious prompting or self-respect1 as it was1 might be called great--turned sour within her heart at such a moment4 ,her very virtue became as vinegar4 ,mrs4 ,brigg was drowned in epithets and finally pushed furiously out into the passage4 ,cuckoo turned from the door to ,jessie yelping1 and directed a kick at the little dog4 ,jessie wailed1 as only a toy dog can1 like the mixture stop of an organ1 wailed and ran as one that runs to meet an unknown future4 ,then ,cuckoo pursued1 caught her1 and burst into tears over her4 ,the little creature's domed skull and india-rubber ears were wet with the tears of her mistress4 ,and she whimpered1 too1 but with much relief1 for she was back in her world of ,cuckoo's lap2 and could not be quite unhappy there4 ,but in what a world was ,cuckoo6 ,it will be said that ,dr4 ,levillier knew of her circumstances2 but anxiously kind and thoughtful though he was1 he did not yet realize the effect of his advice given to the lady of the feathers during the drive on the ,hampstead ,heights4 ,he had told her to prove her will by doing the thing that ,julian had asked of her4 ,but he did not know what ,julian had asked4 ,and he did not comprehend the bitter fruit that her following of his further advice to keep from low and loveless actions must bring to the ripening4 ,when he spoke1 as the sun went down on ,london1 he was carried on by excitement1 and was thinking rather of the fate of ,julian1 the diablerie of ,valentine1 than of the individual life of the girl at his side4 ,he was arming her for the battle4 ,but he dreamed of weapons1 not of rations1 like many an enthusiast4 ,he forgot that the soldier must be fed as well as armed4 ,he said to ,cuckoo3 ,fight6 ,use your woman's wit2 use your heart2 wake up1 and throw yourself into this battle4 ,and she1 filled with determination1 and with a puzzled1 pent ardour to do something1 did not know what to do except--starve4 ,so she began to starve for ,julian's sake1 and because the doctor had fired her heart4 ,he had said3 ,do what ,julian asked you to do1 and show ,julian that you have done it4 ,but something within ,cuckoo forbade her to fulfil this last injunction4 ,she could give up the street1 but an extraordinary shyness1 false shame1 and awkwardness had so far prevented her from letting ,julian know it4 ,if he knew it1 he would understand what it meant for her1 and would force money on her1 and ,cuckoo1 having once made up her mind that money and ,julian should never be linked together in her relations with him1 stuck to secrecy on this subject with her normal dull pertinacity4 ,so matters move slowly towards a deadlock4 ,the lady of the feathers did not neglect the pawnshop4 ,her few trinkets went there very soon4 ,then things that were not trinkets1 that green evening dress1 for instance1 the imitation lace1 and one day a sale took place4 ,cuckoo disposed1 for an absurd sum1 of her title deed1 the headgear that had given birth to her nickname4 ,she was no longer the lady of the feathers4 ,the hat that had seen so much of her life reposed upon the head of virtue1 and knew ,piccadilly no more4 ,but ,julian's present remained with her1 and indeed came into every-day use4 ,and still ,jessie sported her yellow riband4 ,later there came a terrible time1 when the eyes of ,cuckoo--appraising everything on which they looked--fell with that fateful expression1 not merely upon ,jessie's yellow riband1 but upon ,jessie herself4 ,but that time was not quite yet4 ,while ,cuckoo endured this fate1 ,dr4 ,levillier was in a perplexity of another kind4 ,the first round of that battle had ended in apparent decisive defeat of ,valentine's accusers4 ,during the evening the fortunes of war had certainly wavered to the doctor's side4 ,julian had displayed sudden strong signs of an awakening2 but the sitting had thrown him back into his dream1 had pushed him more firmly beneath the yoke of his master4 ,the doctor did not understand why1 although he recognized the fact2 he could not divine the exact effect that disappointment would have upon sudden suspicious eagerness4 ,julian had been waked to wonder1 to observe ,valentine for an instant with new eyes1 to look the mystery of the great change in him in the face1 and know it as a mystery4 ,yes1 he had even thought of ,valentine as a stranger1 and said to himself1 ,where1 then1 is my friend8 ,the new ,valentine had risen out of the ashes of sleep4 ,julian pressed forward the sitting as a means1 the only one1 of searching among these ashes4 ,in the old days each sitting had quickened his senses into a strange life1 as the last sitting quickened the senses of the doctor4 ,but to ,julian this last sitting brought nothing but disappointment2 the thing which had been alive was dead1 and so the sudden hope which had come with the new wonder died too4 ,he supposed that he had been the prey of an absurd fancy created by the idle words of the doctor1 or by an idiotic movement of his mind1 which had cried to him on a sudden3 ,if the ,valentine you love and revere is really gone away1 what are you worshipping now8 ,now1 in his heavy disappointment he thought of this cry as a mad exclamation1 and he sought to drown all memory of it1 and every memory in fresh vices1 and in his fatal habit of absinthe-drinking4 ,he lay down under the yoke beneath which he had previously wept1 and so succeeded in going still lower4 ,so that night ,valentine had won his intended triumph1 although for a while it had been in jeopardy4 ,doctor ,levillier was in perplexity2 he had been brought to the very threshold of revelation1 and then thrust back into an every-day world of thwarted hopes and broken ambitions4 ,but the memory of magic was still with him1 and gave him a feeling of unrest1 and a pertinacity that was not to be without reward forever4 ,valentine's triumph held for the conqueror a poison seed from which a flower was to spring4 ,the doctor's determination to continue the fight was frustrated at this time by ,julian1 rather than by ,valentine4 ,julian's disappointment plunged him in a deep sea of indifference1 from which he declined to be rescued4 ,the doctor's invitations to him remained unanswered4 ,if he called1 ,julian was never at home4 ,several times the doctor met ,valentine1 who1 with a deprecating smile1 told him that ,julian was away on some mad errand4 ,i seldom see him now1 he even added upon one occasion4 ,he has gone beyond me4 ,julian is living so fast that my poor agility cannot keep pace with him4 ,it seemed as if the whole affair was going completely out of the doctor's knowledge1 and that even ,cuckoo had no longer any power of attraction for ,julian4 ,the doctor wrote to her and received an ill-spelt answer1 telling him that ,julian had not been near her since the last night of the year4 ,in this event the doctor's only hope lay in keeping closely in touch with ,valentine4 ,to do this proved an easy matter4 ,valentine responded readily to his invitations1 asked him out in return1 seemed glad to be with him4 ,the doctor believed he read the reason of this joy in ,valentine's anxiety to prove the depth of ,julian's degradation4 ,he had now begun to play devilishly upon a pathetic stop1 and sought every occasion to descant upon the social ruin that was overtaking ,julian1 and his deep concern in the matter4 ,this hypocrisy was so transparent and so offensive that there were moments when it stank in the doctor's nostrils1 and he could scarcely repress his horror and disgust4 ,yet to show them would be not only impolitic1 but would only add fuel to the flames of ,valentine's pyre of triumph4 ,so the doctor1 too1 sought to play his part1 and never wearied in seeking ,julian1 although his quest was in vain4 ,from ,valentine he gathered that ,julian was now dropped even by the gay world2 that his clubs looked askance at him2 that men began to shun him1 and to whisper against him4 ,the stone is going down in the sea1 ,valentine said4 ,who threw it into the sea8 the doctor asked4 ,tell me that4 ,valentine shrugged whimsical shoulders4 ,fate1 ,i suppose1 he answered4 ,fate is a mischievous boy1 and is always throwing stones4 ,is the lady of the feathers disconsolate8 ,the doctor did not trust himself to reply1 but was silent1 plotting another meeting to sit4 ,for he had begun1 still magic-bound perhaps1 to divine some possible salvation in that act which he had once condemned1 led1 as he thought1 by knowledge and by experience1 of the nervous system forsooth6 ,now he was led unscientifically by pure feeling1 like a child by a warm1 close hand4 ,the instinct that had guided ,cuckoo seemed to stretch out fingers to him4 ,he must respond4 ,but how to reach ,julian8 ,while he strove to solve this problem it was solved for him in a manner utterly surprising to him1 although engineered by words of his4 ,cuckoo wrought a strange work with the skeleton hands of hunger and of pain4 ,,chapter ,,vi ,,the ,,selling ,,of ,,jessie ,one chill morning of earliest ,february1 a stirring of ,jessie at the foot of her bed wakened ,cuckoo from a short and uneasy sleep4 ,she opened her eyes to the faint light that filtered through the green ,venetian blind4 ,jessie moved again1 slowly rotating like a drowsy top1 then suddenly dropped into the warm centre of a nest of bedclothes1 breathing a big dog-sigh of satisfaction that shook her tiny frame4 ,she slept4 ,but she had wakened her mistress1 who lay with her head resting on one hand1 deep in thought while the day grew outside4 ,cuckoo1 having directed her steps down a blind-alley had1 not unnaturally1 reached a dead-wall1 blotting out the horizon4 ,lying there1 she faced it4 ,she stared at the wall1 and the wall seemed to stare back at her4 ,perhaps for that reason a dull blankness flowed over and filled her mind1 and made her widely opened eyes almost as expressionless as the eyes of a corpse4 ,for a long time she lay in this alive stupor4 ,then ,jessie stirred again1 and ,cuckoo1 as she had been before spurred into wakefulness1 was stirred into thoughtfulness4 ,she began to pass the near past1 the present1 eventually the future1 in review4 ,the past was a crescendo1 solitude growing louder each night1 poverty growing louder1 obstinacy growing louder1 ,mrs4 ,brigg growing louder4 ,what an orchestra6 ,cuckoo had not seen ,julian once4 ,she had seen the doctor1 to be told of his baffled efforts1 of ,julian's escape from all his friends1 of ,valentine's declaration of the stone going down in the sea1 of utter deadlock1 utter stagnation4 ,for the doctor treated ,cuckoo frankly as a brave woman1 not deceitfully as a timid child to be buoyed on the waves of ill-circumstances with gas-filled bladders4 ,cuckoo knew the worst of things1 and by the knowledge was confirmed in her mule's attitude which so weighed upon ,mrs4 ,brigg4 ,her hands were tied in every direction except one4 ,she could only dumbly prove that ,valentine was wrong2 that her will was not dead1 by exercising it to the detriment of her worldly situation4 ,doggedly then she put her whole past behind her1 despite the ever-increasing curses of the landlady4 ,she had given up her pilgrimages in search of honest work4 ,they were too hopeless4 ,she had pawned everything she could pawn1 and sold every trifle that was saleable4 ,even ,jessie's broad band of yellow satin had been included in a heterogeneous parcel of odds and ends purchased by a phlegmatic ,german with eyes like marbles and the manner of a stone image4 ,living less and less well1 doing without fires1 sitting often in the dark at night to save the expense of gas1 ,cuckoo had managed to pay her rent until a week ago4 ,then money had failed1 and the great earthquake had at length tossed and swallowed the wretched ,mrs4 ,brigg4 ,the scene had been tropical4 ,mrs4 ,brigg was really moved to the very depths of her being4 ,for days she had been1 as it were1 eating and drinking apprehension4 ,now apprehension choked her4 ,she was shot up in the air by the cannon of climax4 ,limbs and mind were in the extreme of commotion4 ,from her point of view it must be acknowledged that the situation was unduly exasperating4 ,for ,cuckoo would give no reason whatever for her reiterated formula of refusal to earn any money4 ,and now she could not pay her week's rent1 plunging ,mrs4 ,brigg into the further circle of an inferno1 and yet sat within doors day after day4 ,mrs4 ,brigg approached apoplexy by way of persuasion1 was by turns pathetic and paralytic with passion4 ,she coaxed with the ardour of an executioner inveigling the victim's neck to the noose and in haste to be off to breakfast4 ,she threatened like ,jove in curl-papers4 ,cuckoo was inexorable4 ,then out you go6 said ,mrs4 ,brigg at last4 ,out of my house you pack1 you-- ,nameless words followed4 ,cuckoo got up from her chair with no show of emotion and moved towards her bedroom stonily to pack her box4 ,she didn't care4 ,she was in a mood to lie down in the gutter and wait the last blow of ,fate1 living only in her one obstinate determination to do what the doctor had told her1 the one thing ,julian had asked of her4 ,she did not any longer war with words against the purple and hard-breathing landlady4 ,and her silence and her movement of obedience awed ,mrs4 ,brigg for the moment into another mood4 ,she shuffled after ,cuckoo into the bedroom4 ,eh8 ,what is it8 she ejaculated4 ,what are you a-doing of8 ,going1 ,cuckoo threw at her4 ,now8 ,yes4 ,where to8 ,no answer4 ,cuckoo was thrusting the few things still left to her into the only box she now possessed in the world4 ,mrs4 ,brigg stood in the folding doorway watching1 and making mouths1 as is the fashion of the elderly when emotional4 ,what are you going for8 she said presently1 as ,cuckoo1 bending down1 stuffed a white petticoat into the depths4 ,can't pay1 snarled ,cuckoo4 ,it don't matter--for a day or two1 said ,mrs4 ,brigg1 reluctantly4 ,she stumped downstairs1 torn by conflicting emotions4 ,she had got accustomed to ,cuckoo1 and then both ,julian and ,valentine1 ,cuckoo's visitors1 had taught her the colour of the ,british sovereign4 ,they had not been near #djj lately1 but they might come again4 ,and then ,doctor ,levillier4 ,cuckoo had some fine friends1 who would surely do something for her4 ,mrs4 ,brigg had no other possible lodger in her eye4 ,on the whole1 prudence dictated a day or two's patience1 just a day or two1 or a week's1 not more1 not a moment more4 ,thus it came about that ,cuckoo had now been another week beneath the roof of ,mrs4 ,brigg without paying hard cash for the asylum4 ,the previous evening the landlady had burst out again into fury1 refusing to get in any more food for ,cuckoo1 and demanding the fortnight's rent4 ,she had even1 carried away by cupidity and passion1 striven to drive ,cuckoo out to her night's work4 ,a physical struggle had taken place between them1 ending in the landlady's hysterics4 ,other lodgers had been drawn by the noise from their floors to witness the row4 ,two of them had come1 on the scene accompanied by men1 and to them ,mrs4 ,brigg had shrieked her wrongs and explanations of this swindling virtue of a woman who had formerly paid her way honestly from the street4 ,the lodgers and their men had provided an accompaniment of jeering laughter to the ,brigg solo1 and ,cuckoo1 her clothes nearly torn from her back1 had flung at last into her sitting-room and locked the door4 ,that was last night--the past which she now reviewed in the morning twilight4 ,what was she to do8 ,she was without food4 ,she was in debt1 must leave ,mrs4 ,brigg1 no doubt1 but must pay her first1 had no means to pay for another lodging4 ,she might apply to ,doctor ,levillier4 ,what held her back from taking that road was mainly this4 ,she had the dumb desire to make a sacrifice for ,julian1 and the doctor had given her the idea of the only sacrifice she could make--retention of herself from the degradation that kept her free of debt4 ,if she asked the doctor to pay the expenses of the sacrifice1 whose would it be8 ,his1 not hers4 ,so there was no banker in the world for ,cuckoo4 ,the dead-wall faced her4 ,the horizon was shut out4 ,she lay there and tried to think--and tried to think4 ,how to get some money8 ,something--the devil perhaps--prompted the sleeping ,jessie to stir again at the bottom of the bed4 ,cuckoo felt the little dog's back shift against her stretched-out toes1 and suddenly a bitter flood of red ran over her thin1 half-starved face1 and she hid it in the tumbled pillow1 pressing it down4 ,the movement was the attempted physical negation of an abominable1 treacherous thought which had just stabbed her mind4 ,how could it have come to her1 when she hated it so8 ,she burrowed further into the pillow1 at the same time caressing the back of ,jessie with little movements of her toes4 ,horrible1 horrible thought6 ,it brought tears which stained the pillow4 ,it brought a hard beating of the heart4 ,and these manifestations showed plainly that ,cuckoo had not dismissed it yet4 ,she tried to dismiss it1 shutting her eyes up tightly1 shaking her head at the black1 venomous thing4 ,but it stayed and grew larger and more dominant4 ,then she took her head from the pillow1 faced it1 and examined it4 ,it was a clear-cut1 definite thought now1 perfectly finished1 coldly complete4 ,jessie was embodied money1 an embodied small sum of money4 ,long ago ,cuckoo had said to ,julian with pride3 ,she's a show-dog4 ,i wouldn't part with her for nuts4 ,now she remembered those words1 and knew1 could not help knowing1 that a show-dog was worth more than nuts4 ,at that moment she wished ,jessie were worthless4 ,then the sting would be drawn from her horrible thought4 ,meanwhile ,jessie slept calmly on1 warm and cosey4 ,cuckoo was cold and trembling4 ,she knew that she was on the verge of starvation4 ,the doctor had said that one day she could help ,julian1 only she4 ,so she must not starve4 ,love alone would not let her do that4 ,between her and starvation lay ,jessie1 curved in sleep1 unconscious that her small future was being debated with tears and with horror4 ,long ago the little dog had entered ,cuckoo's heart to be cherished there4 ,many wretched ,london women own such a little dog1 to whom they cling with a passion such as more fortunate women lavish upon their children4 ,a great many subtleties combine to elevate companions with tails to the best thrones the poor1 the wicked1 and the deserted can give them4 ,a dog has such a rich nature to give to the woman who is poor1 so much innocence at hand for the woman who is wicked1 such completeness of attachment ready for the woman who is lonely4 ,it is so beautifully humble upon its throne1 abased in its own eyes before the shrine of its mistress1 on whom it depends entirely for all its happiness4 ,a little king1 perhaps1 it has the pretty manners of a little servitor4 ,and even when it presumes to be determined in the expressed desire for the dryness of a biscuit or the warmth of a lap1 with how small a word or glance can it be laid upon its back1 in the abject renunciation of every pretension1 anxious only for the forgiveness that nobody with a touch of tenderness could withhold4 ,ah1 there is much to be thankful for in a companion with a tail6 ,jessie had winning ways1 the deep heart of a dog4 ,a toy dog she was1 no doubt1 but hers was no toy nature4 ,cuckoo could not have shed such tears as those she now shed over any toy4 ,for she began to cry weakly at the mere thought that had come to her1 although it was not yet become a resolve4 ,life with ,jessie had been very sordid1 very sad4 ,what would life be without her8 ,what would such a morning as this be1 for instance8 ,cuckoo's imagination set tempestuously to work1 with physical aids--such as the following4 ,she drew away her feet from the bottom of the bed1 where they touched the little dog's back4 ,doing this she said to herself1 ,now1 ,jessie is gone4 ,curled up1 she set herself to realize the lie4 ,and perhaps she might have succeeded thoroughly in the sad attempt had not ,jessie1 in sleep missing the contact of her mistress1 wriggled lazily on her side up the bed after ,cuckoo's feet1 discovering which1 she again composed herself to slumber4 ,the renunciation was not to be complete in imagination4 ,jessie's love1 when present1 was too frustrating4 ,and ,cuckoo1 casting away her horrible thought in a sort of hasty panic1 caught her companion with a tail in her arms1 and made her rest beside her1 close1 close4 ,jessie was well content1 but still sleepy4 ,she reposed her tiny head upon the pillow1 lengthened herself between the sheets and dreamed again4 ,and while she dreamed1 the black thought about her came back to ,cuckoo4 ,it was assertive1 and ,cuckoo began to fear it4 ,the fear of a thought is a horrible thing2 sometimes it is worse than the fear of death4 ,this one made ,cuckoo think herself more cruel than any woman since the world began4 ,yet she could not exorcise it4 ,on the contrary1 she grew familiar with it as the day marched on1 until it put on a fatal expression of duty4 ,all that day she revolved it4 ,mrs4 ,brigg attacked her again4 ,food was lacking4 ,cuckoo's case became desperate4 ,she turned over carefully all her few remaining possessions to see if there was any inanimate thing that she had omitted to turn into money4 ,jessie1 poor innocent1 assisted with animation at the forlorn inventory1 nestling among the tumbled garments1 leaping on and off the bed4 ,her ingenuous nature supposed some odd game to be in progress1 and was anxious to play a principal and effective part in it4 ,yet she was quieted by the look ,cuckoo cast upon her when the wardrobe had been passed in review and no saleable thing was to be found4 ,she shrank into a corner1 ready for whimpering4 ,that night ,cuckoo did not sleep1 and through all the long hours she held ,jessie in her arms1 and heard1 as so often before1 the regular breathing of this little companion of hers4 ,and each drawn breath pierced her heart4 ,next morning she got up early4 ,she was faint with hunger and with a resolve that she had made4 ,she dressed herself1 then carried ,jessie to the flannel-lined basket1 put her into it and kissed her4 ,go bials1 she said1 with a raised finger4 ,go bials4 ,jessie winked her eyes pathetically1 her chin resting on the basket edge4 ,cuckoo went out into the passage and called down to ,mrs4 ,brigg4 ,what is it8 cried ,hades4 ,i'm going to get some money4 ,mrs4 ,brigg ran out4 ,money6 she said in a keen treble4 ,where are you going to git it8 ,never you mind1 said ,cuckoo1 in a dull voice4 ,she turned from ,mrs4 ,brigg's flooding ejaculations and was gone4 ,in her peregrinations about ,london she had sometimes encountered in a certain thoroughfare a broad old man with a face marked with small-pox1 who wore a fur cap and leggings4 ,this individual conveyed upon his thickest person certain clinging rats1 which crawled about him in the public view while he walked1 and he led in strings three or four terriers1 sometimes a pup or two4 ,cuckoo had seen him more than once in conversation with some young swell1 even with gaily-dressed women1 had noticed that his terriers here to-day were often gone to-morrow1 replaced by other dogs1 pugs perhaps1 or a waddling1 bow-legged dachshund4 ,she drew her own conclusions4 ,and she had seen that the old man's eyes1 in his poacher face1 were kindly1 that his trotting dogs often aimed their sharp1 or blunt1 noses at his hands and seemed to claim his notice4 ,her morning errand was to him4 ,she walked a long time in search of him1 trembling with the fear of finding him1 inconsistently4 ,her mind1 reacting on her ill-fed body1 planted a crawling weariness there1 and at last she had to stop and examine her pockets4 ,she came upon two or three pence1 went into a shop1 bought a bun1 and ate it sitting by a marble-topped table4 ,it nearly choked her4 ,yet she knew she needed it badly4 ,with one penny the less she resumed her pilgrimage4 ,but nowhere could she see the old man in his leggings1 and suddenly a sort of joyful spasm shook her superstitiously4 ,fate opposed her cruel resolution4 ,in a rush of eager contrition she started for home1 walking as quickly as her abnormal fatigue would allow her4 ,she had left the street in which the old man generally walked1 and took care1 as she turned its corner1 not to cast one glance behind her4 ,she passed through the next street1 and the next1 and was far away from his neighbourhood1 rejoicing1 when suddenly she saw him coming straight towards her slowly1 the rats resting on his shoulders1 various small dogs in strings pattering on each side of him4 ,cuckoo's heart gave a great thump1 and then for an appreciable fragment of time stopped beating4 ,she muttered a bad word under her breath and had an impulse to flee as from an enemy4 ,she did not flee1 but stood still like one condemned1 while the old man stolidly approached with his menagerie4 ,when he reached her she lifted her head and looked him in the face4 ,the little dogs were jumping to reach his hands4 ,evidently they loved him4 ,i say1 ,cuckoo said huskily4 ,the old gentleman stopped1 lifted a rat from his shoulder1 placed it on his breast1 like a man who arranged his necktie1 clicked his tongue against his teeth1 and remarked3 ,parding1 lydy4 ,cuckoo swallowed4 ,she felt as if she had a ball in her throat shifting up and down4 ,i say1 she repeated4 ,you buy toy dogs1 eh8 ,i buys 'em and ,i sells 'em1 answered the old man1 with a large accent on the conjunction4 ,buys 'em dear and sells 'em cheap4 ,there's a wy to mike a living1 lydy6 ,his small eyes twinkled with humour as he spoke4 ,cuckoo swallowed again4 ,the ball in her throat was getting larger4 ,want to buy one this morning8 she asked4 ,a show little dog1 eh8 ,she choked4 ,the old man did not appear to notice it4 ,he looked at her with sharp consideration4 ,oh1 you means selling6 he remarked4 ,where is it1 then8 ,what8 ,the show little dawg8 ,cuckoo gulped out her address4 ,all this time the old man had been summing her up1 and drawing his own conclusions from her thin figure and haggard face4 ,he scented a possible bargain4 ,trot along1 lydy1 he said1 turning on his heels with all his little dogs in commotion4 ,trot along4 ,i'm with yer4 ,cuckoo heard muffled drums of a dead-march as she walked4 ,she1 who had lived a life so shameless1 shivered with shame at the thought of what she was going to do4 ,her treachery laid her out in its winding-sheet4 ,the old man tried to entertain her1 as they went1 by chatting about his profession1 declaiming the merits of his rats1 and spreading before her mind a verbal panorama of the canine life that had defiled through his changeful existence4 ,cuckoo did not hear a word--they turned into the ,marylebone ,road4 ,she walked slower and slower1 yet never had the street in which she lived seemed so short4 ,at length the iron gate of number #djj was reached4 ,cuckoo stopped4 ,in 'ere1 lydy8 said the old man4 ,she nodded1 unable to speak4 ,he turned in with his crowd of pattering dogs1 and proceeded jauntily up the narrow path4 ,cuckoo followed slowly and with a furtive step4 ,she longed to open the front door1 let him in1 and then run away herself4 ,anywhere1 anywhere1 only to be away1 out of sight and hearing of the cruel scene that was coming4 ,now they were on the doorstep4 ,the old man waited4 ,she fumbled for her latchkey1 found it1 thrust it into the door4 ,instantly the shrill bark of ,jessie was heard4 ,cuckoo's guilty shining eyes met the twinkling eyes of the old man4 ,that she a-barkin'8 he inquired1 with a professional air4 ,cuckoo nodded again4 ,a nice little pype1 he rejoined4 ,this wy1 is it8 ,the patter of feet in the oil-clothed passage roused ,jessie to a frenzied excitement4 ,when the two opened the door of the sitting-room1 the little creature1 planted tree-like upon her four tiny feet1 was barking her dog life into the air4 ,cuckoo1 entering first1 snatched her up and gave her a sudden1 vehement kiss4 ,it was good-bye4 ,then she turned and faced the old man1 who had paused in the doorway4 ,she held ,jessie silently towards him4 ,transferring the strings held in his right hand to his left1 he took the wriggling dog from ,cuckoo1 lifted her up and down as if considering her weight1 ran his eyes over her points with the quick decision of knowledge4 ',ardly a show dawg1 lydy1 he said4 ,cuckoo flamed at him4 ,she is1 she is1 she cried vehemently1 all her passion trying to find a vent in the words4 ,you shan't have her1 you shan't have her1 you shan't if-- ,neow1 neow2 ,i ain't sying nothink ag'in 'er1 he interposed4 ,she's a pretty dawg1 a very pretty dawg4 ',ow much do yer sy1 lydy8 ,cuckoo sickened4 ,she looked away4 ,she could not have met the eyes of ,jessie at that moment4 ',ow much1 then8 repeated the old man1 still weighing the whining ,jessie up and down4 ,i dunno2 you say4 ,the old man mentioned a price4 ,it was bigger than ,cuckoo had expected4 ,she nodded1 moving her tongue across her lips4 ,then she looked away out of the window4 ,she heard the chink of money4 ,put it on the table1 she murmured4 ,he did so1 looking steadily at her4 ,you feels the parting1 lydy1 he began4 ,very nat'ral1 very4 ,i knows what it is4 ,he extended ,jessie1 now whining furiously1 towards ,cuckoo4 ,want to sy good-bye1 lydy8 he said4 ,cuckoo shook her head4 ,the old man popped ,jessie into one of the capacious side-pockets of his coat and buttoned the flap down4 ,mornin'1 lydy1 he said1 turning towards the door4 ,cuckoo made no reply4 ,her chest was heaving and her lips were working4 ,the old man went out4 ,cuckoo heard the pattering feet of the little army of dogs on the oilcloth of the passage4 ,the hall door opened and shut4 ,a pause4 ,the iron gate clicked4 ,she had never moved4 ,the money lay on the table4 ,at last ,cuckoo went out into the passage1 and called in a strange voice3 ,mrs4 ,brigg4 ,the landlady came with hasty alacrity4 ,come here1 said ,cuckoo1 leading the way into the sitting-room4 ,there--there's some money for you4 ,mrs4 ,brigg pounced on it with a vulture's eagerness4 ',owever did yer-- she began4 ,but ,cuckoo had rushed into the bedroom4 ,the landlady stood with the money in her hand1 and heard the key turned in the lock of the door4 ,,chapter ,,vii ,a ,,meeting ,,of ,,starvation ,,and ,,excess ,now an awful loneliness1 like the loneliness of the grave1 fell round ,cuckoo4 ,like ,judas1 she could have gone out and hanged herself1 but for one thing1 the love in her heart that seemed so useless4 ,in her muddled1 illogical way1 and to stifle gnawing thoughts of the betrayed ,jessie1 she dwelt upon this love of hers for ,julian4 ,what had it ever brought her8 ,what had it brought him8 ,to her it had given many sorrows1 humiliations4 ,she remembered them one by one1 and they looked at her like ghosts4 ,her dawning recognition of her own degradation never yet come to surmise2 her tearing jealousy when ,julian went out to do as other men did1 preceded by and linked with the knowledge of that dreary incident in which she played the part of accomplice1 that incident which she always believed had started him on his journey to destruction2 her acquaintance with ,valentine and the arrows planted in her heart by him2 her despair when she learned from him her own impotence2 not yet counterbalanced by full trust in herself or in her power for good1 despite the faith of the doctor2 her vision of the constantly falling ,julian1 of the stone going down in the deep sea2 her desperate adherence to the doctor's request to prove her will1 rewarded now by an apparently useless starvation1 and by this treacherous sale of ,jessie1 her truest1 trustiest friend4 ,cuckoo reviewed these ghosts1 and no longer prayed1 but cursed4 ,so long as she had ,jessie--she knew it now--she had never been really quite hopeless1 often as she had thought herself hopeless4 ,she had never even been utterly without self-respect1 because ,jessie had always deeply respected her and had thus given her little moments of clean and cheering confidence4 ,and she had never been absolutely alone4 ,now she was alone1 and felt like ,judas1 a betrayer4 ,by turns she thought of ,julian lost and of ,jessie sold to strange hands1 strange hearts1 in a cruel and a bitter world4 ,but even now she did not think much or often of herself1 for ,cuckoo was no egotist4 ,her very lack of egotism must have been the despair of any good woman trying to rescue her4 ,she sat at home and starved and betrayed now1 not because her egoism shrank from the touch of the men of the street1 not because she had any idea of the great duty a woman owes to herself--to keep herself pure--but simply moved by the dogged determination to do something for ,julian4 ,were ,julian dead ,cuckoo would have gone out into ,piccadilly again as of old1 and earned the rent for ,mrs4 ,brigg1 and food for herself1 and a sovereign or two to buy back ,jessie4 ,the circumstances of her life had stuffed cotton wool into the ears of her soul and rendered it deaf to the voices that govern good women4 ,cuckoo was pathetically incomprehensible to most people1 because she was pathetically twisted in mind4 ,but her heart grew straight and surely towards heaven4 ,the sale of ,jessie had brought in enough money to keep ,mrs4 ,brigg quiet for a little while1 but not enough to satisfy her claim against ,cuckoo1 or to give ,cuckoo food4 ,it went as an instalment towards the rent4 ,now the landlady began to clamour again1 and ,cuckoo was literally starving4 ,one night her despair reached a point of cruelty which drove her out into the street1 not for the old reason1 not at all for that4 ,cuckoo was sheathed in armour from head to foot against sin and its wages4 ,her obstinacy seemed to her the only thing that really lived in her miserable body1 her miserable soul4 ,it was surely obstinacy which pulsed in her heart1 which shone in her hollow eyes1 tingled in her tired limbs1 flushed her thin cheeks with blood1 gave her mind a thought1 her will the impetus to mark time in this desolation4 ,cuckoo was like a hollow shell containing the everlasting murmur1 ,i'll starve--for him4 ,whether her starvation was useless or not did not concern her at this moment4 ,she no longer even saw those ghosts4 ,she seemed blind and deaf and dull in a fashion1 yet driven by an active despair4 ,had ,jessie been with her still1 she could have stayed within doors4 ,the little dog's faint and regular breathing1 her occasional rustling movements1 had made just enough music to keep ,cuckoo still faintly singing even when her heart was saddest4 ,now her room and her life were empty of all song1 and ,jessie's untenanted basket--in which the red flannel seemed to ,cuckoo like blood--was a spectre and a vision of hell4 ,so1 on this night1 ,cuckoo put on her hat and jacket4 ,she meant to go out1 to walk anywhere1 just to move1 to be in the open air4 ,as she went into the passage she ran against ,mrs4 ,brigg4 ,the gas-jet was alight1 and the landlady could see how she was dressed4 ,suddenly ,mrs4 ,brigg fell on ,cuckoo and began slobbering her with kisses4 ,the old wretch actually began to whimper4 ,she had been sore tried1 and must have had a fragment of affection for ,cuckoo somewhere about her nature4 ,for she did not want to part with her1 and the tears she now let fall were prompted not only by a prospect of money coming in to her1 but also of pleasure in the thought that ,cuckoo had not entirely gone to the bad4 ,she wept like the mother who sees her child return from its evil way4 ,cuckoo thrust her away without a word1 violently4 ,mrs4 ,brigg did not resent the action1 but fell against the passage wall sobbing and murmuring1 ,my precious1 my chickabiddy6 while ,cuckoo banged the hall door and went out into the night4 ,then the landlady1 moved by a sacred impulse of pardon1 bolted down to her kitchen and began to rummage enthusiastically in her larder4 ,she knew ,cuckoo had been near to starving1 and had supported the knowledge with great equanimity while this prodigal daughter chose to wander in wicked ways of idleness4 ,but now she killed the fatted calf with trembling hands1 and made haste to set out a reverend supper in ,cuckoo's parlour to welcome her on her return4 ,the cold bacon1 the pot of porter1 the bread1 the butter1 all were ,mrs4 ,brigg's symbols of pardon and of peace6 ,and as she laid them on the table she sang3 ,in 'er 'air 7whimper7 she wore a white cam-eelyer1 ,dark blue 7whimper7 was the colour of 'er heye4 7,whimper47 ,it was like a religious service with one devout worshipper4 99 99 99 99 99 ,meanwhile ,cuckoo walked slowly along4 ,it was a dark night1 very still and very damp4 ,the frost had gone4 ,the stars were spending their brightness on clouds that were a carpet to them1 a roof to poor human beings who could not see them4 ,in the air was the unnatural1 and so almost unpleasant1 warmth that1 coming suddenly out of due season1 strikes at the health of many people1 and exhausts them as it would never exhaust them in time of summer4 ,cuckoo1 faint with hunger1 fainter yet with sorrow1 felt intensely fatigued4 ,she did not consider where she was going1 but just walked on slowly and heavily2 but the habit of her life1 profiting by her unconsciousness1 led her towards that long street in which she had passed hours which1 if added together1 would have made a large part of her life4 ,piccadilly drew her to it as the whirlpool draws the thing which inadvertently touches even the farthest outpost of its influence4 ,presently she was at the ,circus4 ,the little boys upon the kerb1 crying newspapers1 greeted her with excited comments and with laughter4 ,they had missed her for so long that they had imagined her ill1 perhaps dead4 ,seeing her turn up again1 they were full of greedy ardour for her news4 ,they put to her searching and opprobrious questions4 ,she did not hear them4 ,soon she was in the midst of the crowd4 ,yet she scarcely realized that she was not alone4 ,no mechanical smile came to her face4 ,it seemed as if she had forgotten the old wiles of the streets1 put off forever the frigid mask of vice1 that freezes young blood1 yet makes old blood sometimes run strangely faster4 ,what was the street to ,cuckoo now1 or ,cuckoo to the street8 ,once it had at least been much1 almost everything1 to her4 ,and she had been perhaps as much to it as one of the paving-stones on which the feet of its travellers trod4 ,now things were changed4 ,the human wolf was in the snow still1 but it no longer feared starvation4 ,rather did it live in starvation with a fervour that was untouched by anything animal4 ,cuckoo walked on4 ,the crowd flowed up and down1 in two opposed and gliding streams4 ,the warm heaviness of this premature air of spring had brought many people out1 and had even induced some of the women to assume costumes of mid-summer4 ,there were great white hats floating on the stream1 like swans4 ,bright and light coloured dresses touched the black gown of ,cuckoo as with fingers of contempt4 ,she did not see them4 ,many women who knew her by sight murmured to each other their surprise at her reappearance4 ,one1 a huge negress in orange cotton1 ejaculated a loud and guttural3 ,my sakes6 ,unheeding1 ,cuckoo walked on4 ,a few of the men looked at her4 ,more especially did those observe her who love vice that is quiet1 sedate1 demure1 and unobtrusive4 ,to these her pale1 unpainted cheeks1 her unconscious demeanour1 her downcast eyes1 and severely plain black dress and hat appealed with emphasis4 ,one or two of them turned to follow her4 ,she never heard their footsteps4 ,one spoke to her4 ,she did not reply4 ,he persisted4 ,when at last she was obliged to heed him she only shook her head4 ,he fell away1 abashed by the dull glance of her eyes1 and wondering discontentedly why she was there and what she was doing4 ,forgetting him instantly1 she walked on4 ,some one she had known in old days met her4 ,it was the young man in the millinery establishment who had loved her for a week1 and given her the green evening dress trimmed with the imitation lace4 ,since those days he had become strictly respectable1 had married an assistant in the shop1 rented a tiny villa at ,clapham1 added two childish lives to the teeming word1 and developed on ,sundays into a sidesman at a suburban church4 ,now he was on his way to ,charing ,cross from a solemn supper given by his employers at a restaurant to some of their staff4 ,he recognized ,cuckoo and the spirit moved him to speak to her4 ,he touched her arm4 ,miss-er-,miss ,bright1 he said4 ,cuckoo stopped4 ,miss ,bright1 you remember me8 ,alf ,heywood6 ,he was a little man1 with a whitish face and wispy light brown hair4 ,now his pale brown eyes glanced up at ,cuckoo rather nervously under rapidly winking lids4 ,she stared at him4 ,alf ,heywood8 she repeated1 without meaning4 ,yes1 yes2 ,alf ,heywood1 as was in ,brenton's millinery establishment1 top of ,regent ,street4 ,him as give you that green dress4 ,don't you recall8 ,cuckoo shook her head4 ,green1 with white lace on it1 he continued1 with nervous emphasis4 ,suddenly ,cuckoo said3 ,white2 no1 it was yellow4 ,mr4 ,heywood was delighted at this evidence of recollection4 ,so it was1 so it was1 he said4 ,but what ,i wanted to say was1 that ,i'm sorry to see you here still4 ,eh8 ,sorry to see you here4 ,i'm married1 you know1 turned over a new leaf1 with two children of my own1 and come to see the error of my ways4 ,i hoped as you-- ,cuckoo walked on4 ,her dream of despair was not to be broken by ,mr4 ,heywood and his new-found respectability4 ,fate shattered it to fragments in very different fashion4 ,a sudden thrill ran through the crowd1 coming from a distance4 ,people began to pause1 to turn their heads1 to murmur to one another1 then to press forward in one direction1 craning their necks as if to catch sight of something4 ,the street was almost blocked1 and ,cuckoo was entangled in this seething excitement1 of which at first she could not divine the cause4 ,presently she heard shouts4 ,the crowd swayed4 ,then a man's fierce yell cut the general murmur with the sharpness of a knife4 ,suddenly ,cuckoo's dream fled4 ,she pushed her way forward in the direction of the cry2 she struggled2 she crept under arms and glided through narrow spaces with extraordinary dexterity and swiftness4 ,he's mad1 she heard a voice say4 ,no2 only drunk4 ,he'll kill the other fellow if he gets at him4 ,the coppers will be on him in a minute4 ,cuckoo was panting with her effort1 but she passed the voices and came upon the core of the crowd1 the man who had yelled--,julian4 ,she saw in a moment that he was mad with drink4 ,his hat was off2 his coat was torn2 his evening clothes were covered with mud4 ,apparently he had fallen while getting out of a cab4 ,two men--strangers of the street--were holding him forcibly back while he struggled furiously to attack another man1 who faced him calmly on the pavement with a smile of keen contempt4 ,this man was ,valentine4 ,julian was screaming incoherent curses at him and wild threats of murder4 ,the crowd listened and jeered4 ,cuckoo caught ,julian by the arm4 ,he turned on her to strike her4 ,then his arm fell by his side4 ,it seemed as if he recognized her even through the veil of his excess4 ,the drunken man looked on the starving woman1 and the curses died upon his lips4 ,he began to shiver and to tremble from head to foot4 ,valentine made a step towards him1 but some in the crowd interposed4 ,let him alone1 they said4 ,you'll only make him worse4 ,leave him to her4 ,the cab from which ,julian had apparently just alighted was drawn up by the kerbstone4 ,cuckoo1 who had not uttered a word as yet1 drew ,julian towards it4 ,he staggered after her in silence1 stumbled into the cab and collapsed in a heap in the corner1 half on the floor1 half on the seat4 ,she got in after him1 watched by the crowd1 who seemed awed by the abrupt silence of this yelling madman at the touch of this spectral girl in black4 ,cuckoo gave her address to the cabman4 ,just as he was whipping up his horse to drive away1 she leaned forward out of the cab as if to the crowd--really to one man in it4 ,he's my man6 she said1 drawing her thick eyebrows together1 and with a nod of her head4 ,he's my man4 ,i'll see to him4 ,the cab drove off into the darkness4 ,,chapter ,,viii ,,an ,,awakening ,that drive in the night was taken in silence4 ,julian1 a crumpled heap of degraded humanity1 slept4 ,cuckoo watched over him1 half supporting him with one thin arm4 ,exultation shone in her eyes and beat in her heart4 ,the glory of being alone with this drunken creature1 his protector1 his guide1 lay round the girl like a glory of heaven4 ,as she looked at his white face1 and pressed her handkerchief against the blood that trickled from his forehead1 wild tears of triumph1 passionate tears of joy and determination1 swam to her eyes4 ,she felt at last the pride and the self-respect of one who possesses a will1 and who has exercised it4 ,that was a justification of life to her mind4 ,something had given even to her the power to snatch this man to herself from the jaws of dark ,london1 to carry him off1 a succoured prey1 from the world laughing at his degradation4 ,she bent over him in the rattling cab and touched his face with her lips4 ,was that a kiss8 ,she1 who had known so many kisses1 wondered4 ,it was the going forth of her soul to purify with flame the thing it loved4 ,the cab stopped2 ,cuckoo shook ,julian4 ,he stirred uneasily1 opened his eyes and shut them again1 relapsing into something that seemed rather a sort of fit than a slumber4 ,she called to the cabman to come and help her4 ,between them they carried ,julian into the house and laid him out upon the horsehair sofa4 ,he'll come to all right1 lady1 said the cabby1 with a pleasant grin of knowledge4 ,there's a many it takes like that4 ,it ain't nothing4 ,he paused for his payment1 and then ,cuckoo remembered that she had no money4 ,the thought did not worry her2 it seemed too far off4 ,i ain't got no money1 she said4 ,cabby's jaw dropped4 ,wait a second1 she said4 ,go out1 ,i'll get some4 ,the man withdrew doubtfully1 then ,cuckoo robbed ,julian4 ,she1 who had never yet taken money from him1 stole the price of his fare to her protection4 ,then she let the cabman out1 locked the street door1 and returned4 ,she sat down by ,julian1 who still appeared to sleep4 ,and now suddenly she felt that she was starving4 ,she looked round the room2 there was nothing upon the table4 ,mrs4 ,brigg1 an hour after her ,te ,deum1 had been seized in the claws of reaction1 and had repented of her generosity4 ,suspicions and doubts obscured the previous rapture of her mind4 ,she bethought herself that ,cuckoo might chance to return alone1 still penniless2 she remembered the rent still owing4 ,her impulse to kill fatted calves suddenly struck her as the act of a mad woman4 ,as locusts clear a smiling country of all that nourishes1 she swept the table of ,cuckoo clear1 impounding to her larder with trembling1 eager hands the food that might never have been paid for4 ,thereupon she went to bed1 nodding her old head1 and muttering to herself with pursed lips4 ,so the eyes of ,cuckoo looked in vain for something to stay the bodily misery that stole upon her as she watched by ,julian4 ,starvation stripped away all the mists from her soul and left it naked with the burdened soul it loved4 ,despite her increasing pain of body1 ,cuckoo was conscious gradually of a light and airy delicacy of sensation that was touched with something magical4 ,this awful hunger made her feel strangely pure1 as if her deeds1 which for years had clung round her like a brood of filthy vampires1 were falling away from her one by one4 ,they dropped down into the night2 she was mounting into freedom4 ,and1 despite faint agonies which at moments threatened to overwhelm her1 she had never felt so happy4 ,instinct led her to get away from the consciousness of her body by leaning utterly upon her mind4 ,she sat down by ,julian1 bent over him1 absorbed herself in him4 ,one of his hands she took gently in her own4 ,the little act baptized him hers in her mind1 and she was aware of a great rush of happiness never known before4 ,for she had him there in her nest1 she alone4 ,and she loved him4 ,even in his drunken sleep1 even in his massacred condition of ugliness and hatefulness1 he was so beautiful to her that she could have wept from thankfulness4 ,the world had taken from her everything1 the very little that she had ever possessed1 the purity that every creature has once1 the innocence that she had never understood1 left her this tipsy1 degraded1 abandoned1 tragic atom of evil4 ,and a great glory was hers4 ,she could have fallen upon her knees in blessing and thankfulness1 forgetful of all her tribe of sorrows1 conscious only that she was a woman crowned and throned4 ,by degrees she forgot that she was starving1 forgot everything in an ecstasy of pure passion and pride1 an ecstasy that brought food1 rest1 calm1 to her4 ,in the dawn ,julian stirred and murmured incoherent words4 ,cuckoo bent down to hear them4 ,but he slept again4 ,and as the dawn grew1 the light and airy feeling within her grew with it1 till she seemed to be floating in the air and among soft1 billowing clouds4 ,at first there was light through them1 light of the sun1 strong and beautiful4 ,but then it faded4 ,and darkness came1 and strange sounds like far-off voices1 and a murmur as of waters deepening in volume and rushing upon her4 ,they reached her4 ,she put out her hands and thought she cried out4 ,the waters swept her away4 99 99 99 99 99 ,cuckoo6 ,cuckoo6 ,what is it8 ,cuckoo6 ,she's a-comin'--she's a-comin' to4 ,give me some more water1 then4 ,cuckoo felt it very cold upon her face1 and fancied at first that it was those rushing waters of her dream4 ,but the darkness parted1 showing her two faces close together1 one old and withered and yellow1 one young1 but white and lined4 ,at first she looked at them without recognition4 ,again she felt the cold drops of water dashing against her cheeks and lips1 and then she knew ,mrs4 ,brigg and ,julian1 and she saw her little room1 and that it was morning and light4 ,they helped her to sit up4 ,she glanced wearily towards the table4 ,what is it1 ,cuckoo8 ,julian said4 ,food2 ,i'm starving1 she whispered1 faintly4 ,horror was written on his face4 ,starving6 ,what the devil does she mean8 ,he turned on ,mrs4 ,brigg1 who suddenly shrunk away muttering3 ,i'll get something2 breakfast--,i'll get it4 ,julian looked dazed4 ,he was only recovering gradually from his drunken stupor4 ,starving--starving1 he repeated1 vacantly staring at ,cuckoo1 who said nothing more1 only lay back1 trying to understand things1 and to emerge from the mists and noises in which she still seemed to be floating4 ,presently ,mrs4 ,brigg returned and shuffled about the table with a furtive1 contorted face1 laying breakfast4 ,the teapot smoked4 ,come along1 my dearie1 began the old creature4 ,but ,julian thrust her out of the room4 ,he brought ,cuckoo tea and food1 fed her1 put the cup to her lips4 ,at first she had scarcely the strength to swallow1 but presently she began to revive1 and then ate and drank so ravenously that ,julian1 even in his vague condition1 was appalled4 ,good ,god1 it's true6 he said4 ,cuckoo starving6 ,he sat by her turning this piercing matter over in his mind4 ,its strangeness helped to sober him4 ,you eat too1 she said4 ,he shook his head4 ,yes1 yes1 she insisted feverishly4 ,to pacify her he made a sort of attempt at breakfast1 and felt the better for it4 ,together they progressed slowly towards the normal4 ,at last the meal was over4 ,cuckoo lay back1 feeling wonderfully better and calm and happy4 ,but ,julian's eyes were searching hers insistently4 ,what have you been doing8 he said4 ,you've got to tell me4 ,starving6 ,what's the meaning of it8 ,his voice sounded almost angry and threatening4 ,i ain't got any money1 she said4 ,why8 ,she didn't answer4 ,why--,i say8 he repeated4 ,because ,i've given up the street1 she said simply4 ,given up the street--,cuckoo6 ,he laid his hand down heavily upon one of hers4 ,since when8 ,oh--a little while4 ,it don't matter how long4 ,he sat glancing about the room4 ,where's ,jessie8 he asked suddenly4 ,cuckoo burst out crying4 ,i had to--,i had to1 she sobbed4 ,to do what8 ,to part with her4 ,what6 ,you've sold ,jessie6 ,julian stood up4 ,this last fact struck right home to him1 banishing all his vagueness1 setting his mind on its feet firmly4 ,jessie sold6 he exclaimed again1 in a loud voice4 ,cuckoo1 why have you done this8 ,tell me--tell me at once4 ,she strove to control her sobs4 ,i didn't know what to do to get you away from him1 she said presently1 flushing scarlet4 ,i didn't never see you2 ,i didn't know where you was4 ,i knew as you didn't like me going on the street4 ,once you asked me not to4 ,remember8 ,julian nodded1 with a piercing gaze on her4 ,so--so thinks ,i--,i'll keep away2 p'rhaps it'll get him back4 ,me8 ,he sat down with a white face4 ,all about him there was flame4 ,he seemed to understand what he had never understood before1 the wonder of the lady of the feathers1 the mystery that had drawn him so strangely to her4 ,he caught her in his arms4 ,oh1 ,cuckoo1 ,cuckoo1 he said1 brokenly4 ,you love me4 ,he laid his lips on hers1 and pressed her mouth in a passion of emotion that was almost an assault4 ,and still the fire was about him4 ,she clung to him with her thin arms4 ,that's it1 she whispered1 in reply to his words4 ,julian held her in silence1 felt her heart beating1 the piteous tenuity of her little body1 the weak grasp of her arms round him4 ,these things broke upon him one by one with a crescendo of meaning that came like a great revelation1 came to him shod with flame1 winged with flame1 moving in flame1 warm like flame4 ,you starved for me1 sold ,jessie for me1 he whispered4 ,how ,i love you6 ,how ,i love you6 ,and he crushed her close in an embrace that was almost brutal4 ,the door bell rang4 ,julian let ,cuckoo go4 ,he has come for me1 he said4 ,she knew it too1 and looked at him with a piteous1 greedy questioning4 ,i hate him now1 he said in answer4 ,the door of the room opened4 ,they both turned towards it4 ,valentine entered4 ,i thought ,i should find you here1 he said1 stopping near the door4 ,are you better1 ,julian8 ,better8 ,last night you were not yourself4 ,i have not been myself for a long time1 ,julian replied4 ,i had not noticed any change4 ,julian made no reply4 ,a dogged expression had come into his face4 ,he was still sitting close to ,cuckoo4 ,now he took her hand in his4 ,as he did so1 ,valentine moved a little nearer1 as if urged by a sudden impulse4 ,he bent down to gaze into ,cuckoo's face1 and uttered a short exclamation4 ,the battle6 he said4 ,an expression almost of awe had come into his eyes1 and for a moment he hesitated1 even half turned as if to slink away4 ,but then1 with a strong effort1 he recovered himself and again fixed his eyes on ,julian4 ,come1 ,julian6 he said4 ,i will not come4 ,i have a cab here waiting4 ,valentine spoke with an iron calm4 ,we had arranged to go to ,magdalen's4 ,julian uttered an oath4 ,that devil6 he exclaimed4 ,i won't go to her4 ,i am half dead4 ,i am killing myself4 ,he pulled himself up short1 then cried out savagely1 and half despairingly3 ,no1 by ,god1 you are killing me6 ,he began to tremble1 and looked towards ,cuckoo as a man looks who seeks for refuge4 ,you are treating me very strangely1 ,julian1 ,valentine said frigidly4 ,last night you were drunk4 ,you seemed to take me for some enemy1 and struck me4 ,many men would resent your conduct4 ,i am too much your friend4 ,you--my friend6 ,julian exclaimed bitterly4 ,you6 ,abruptly he sprang up1 tearing his hand out of ,cuckoo's4 ,he went over to ,valentine and stared with a passion of perplexity and of loathing into his eyes4 ,what1 in ,god's name1 are you8 he said1 in an uncertain voice4 ,are you man or devil8 ,you are not ,valentine--not the man ,i loved4 ,i'll swear it4 ,you are some damned stranger1 and ,i have lived with you--he shuddered irrepressibly--and never knew it till now4 ,you say ,i am a stranger8 ,yes1 with the face of my friend4 ,how can that be8 ,again a misery of confusion and of fear swept over ,julian4 ,whence did ,i come1 then8 ,valentine asked4 ,he began to have the air of a man bent on some revelation4 ,an immense power infused itself through him4 ,his blue eyes were utterly fearless4 ,the moment of open battle had come at last4 ,well1 he would not attempt to avoid it1 to gain further uneasy peace4 ,he would strike a final blow1 secure of his own victory4 ,and ,cuckoo sat watching silently4 ,she remembered the night on which ,valentine had half revealed the mystery to her1 who could not understand it4 ,was he about to reveal it now to ,julian8 ,her eyes flamed with eagerness1 and again ,valentine looked into them and faltered for a moment4 ,then he turned resolutely away from her1 as if he gave his whole heart and soul to the business before him1 to this ,julian who at last began to shrink from him1 to feel terror at his approach1 even to repudiate him4 ,from what have ,i come1 then8 he repeated4 ,julian paused1 as if he sought an answer1 looking backwards into the past4 ,suddenly he cried3 ,from that trance6 ,yes2 it was then4 ,that flame going away1 it was--it must have been--,valentine4 ,you talk like a madman4 ,but ,julian did not heed the sneer4 ,he was passionately engrossed by the flood of thoughts that had come to him4 ,he was struggling to wake finally from the dreary and infamous dream in which he had been walking--deceived1 tricked1 tyrant-ridden--for so long4 ,but then ,valentine is dead1 he cried4 ,his face went white4 ,he sank down1 clinging suddenly to ,cuckoo4 ,dead6 he repeated in a whisper4 ,the girl's touch was strangely warm on his hands1 like fire4 ,he looked up into her eyes1 seeking passionately for that flame that now he began vaguely to connect with the ,valentine he had lost4 ,or is he--8 ,julian hesitated1 still gazing at the white and weary face of ,cuckoo4 ,suddenly ,valentine said loudly3 ,you are right4 ,he is dead4 ,he laughed aloud4 ,i killed him1 he said1 when ,i took his place4 ,julian1 you shall know now1 what the lady of the feathers knows already1 what a human will can do1 when it is utterly content with itself1 when it is trained1 developed1 perfected4 ,i came through ,marr to ,valentine4 ,i was ,marr4 ,marr6 ,julian said slowly4 ,you6 ,and ,marr1 too1 was my prey4 ,like ,valentine he was not content with himself4 ,his weakness of discontent was my opportunity4 ,i expelled his will1 for mine was stronger than his4 ,i lived in his body until the time came for me to be with you4 ,have you ever read of vampires8 ,julian muttered a hoarse assent4 ,he seemed bound by a strange spell1 inert1 paralysed almost4 ,there are vampires in the modern world who feed1 not upon bodies1 but upon souls1 wills4 ,and each soul they feed upon gives to them greater strength1 a longer reign upon the earth4 ,who knows8 ,one of them in time may compass eternity4 ,he seemed to tower up in the little room1 to blaze with triumph4 ,when you see a man go down1 sink into the mire1 and you say1 ',he is weak--he has come under a bad influence'--it is a vampire who feeds upon his soul1 who sucks the blood of his will4 ,sometimes the vampire comes in his own form1 sometimes he wears a mask--the mask of a friend's form and face4 ,the influences that wreck men are the vampires of the soul at work1 ,julian1 at work4 ,his face was terrible4 ,julian shrank from it4 ,he turned to ,cuckoo4 ,they feed on women too1 he said4 ,on the souls of women4 ,men say that magic is a dream and a chimera4 ,women say that miracles are past1 or that there never were such things4 ,but the power of sin is magical4 ,the death of beauty and of innocence in a soul is a miracle4 ,my power over you1 ,julian1 is magic4 ,the bondage of your soul to mine is a miracle4 ,come with me4 ,i will not come4 ,but ,julian's face1 his whole attitude1 betokened the most piteous and degraded irresolution4 ,this man1 this creature1 governed him despite himself4 ,he felt once more for the hand of ,cuckoo1 and finding it1 spoke again more firmly3 ,i'll not come1 he said4 ,i'll stay with her4 ,i love her4 ,valentine cast a malign glance upon ,cuckoo1 but again fear seemed to draw near to him4 ,he made no answer4 ,only once ,i'll come1 ,julian said4 ,to-night4 ,i lost ,valentine in the dark4 ,in the dark ,i'll seek for him1 ,i'll find him again4 ,cuckoo shall come too1 and the doctor4 ,that flame--it went into the air4 ,i'll find it--,i'll find it again4 ,come1 then--seek it--seek ,valentine4 ,but ,i1 too1 was with you in the dark4 ,and in the dark ,i will destroy you4 ,till to-night then1 ,julian6 ,he turned and went out4 ,,chapter ,,ix ,,the ,,last ,,sitting ,that evening ,julian drove ,cuckoo down ,victoria ,street4 ,on the way they scarcely spoke4 ,the doctor1 summoned by a messenger1 was there before them4 ,he1 although ignorant of what had passed been ,julian and ,valentine1 was deeply expectant4 ,cuckoo was exhausted by the sleepless night of her vigil over ,julian1 and by the severe joy1 almost like pain1 that had burst upon her with his avowal and with his savage embrace4 ,when she entered the tentroom followed by ,julian1 she looked like a shadow gliding wearily through twilight4 ,the doctor was there with ,valentine4 ,valentine's face was gay4 ,his manner was ardent1 almost tempestuous4 ,the clear calmness so generally characteristic of him had vanished1 swept away by the flood of his triumph perhaps4 ,julian seemed nervous1 and his appearance was so haggard as to be engrossing to any one who was observant4 ,there was a hunted1 fearful look in his eyes4 ,his hands were never for a moment still4 ,he kept close to ,cuckoo4 ,he even held her hands as he sat by her1 and she felt that his were burning hot4 ,he scarcely noticed the doctor1 who observed him closely4 ,valentine watched his feverish excitement with laughing eyes4 ,of those four people he alone seemed entirely untouched by any deep emotion1 entirely master of himself4 ,for even ,doctor ,levillier was curiously moved that night1 and was unable to suppress every trace of abnormal emotion4 ,they sat down4 ,there were no flowers in the room4 ,valentine explained that he had remembered ,cuckoo's fainting fit and feared its renewal4 ,i am afraid you are still scarcely yourself1 he added1 with a solicitude that was too elaborate to be agreeable4 ,you are looking pale and tired4 ,you are sure to sleep again4 ,i'll not sleep to-night1 she answered1 showing none of her usual fear of him4 ,the assertion of her will1 her momentary rescue of ,julian1 ,julian's avowed love for her1 his clinging to her as to a refuge--all these things1 so ,cuckoo thought1 built up in her a great fearlessness4 ,in her bodily weakness she felt strong4 ,her faded1 weakly frame held now a large spirit of which she was finely conscious4 ,and she attributed this leaping spirit1 so brave1 so intense to these things1 these facts of which she could make a list4 ,she did not know that behind them all there was a motive power inspiring her1 through them perhaps1 but of itself4 ,how often is the power behind the throne unsuspected1 unheeded4 ,cuckoo did not recognize it in this crisis1 although there had been moments in the past when the murmur of its voice had stolen upon her and stirred her to wonder and to perturdation4 ,and ,valentine1 to whom the combat came1 saw not his real foe4 ,and ,julian looked only into ,cuckoo's faded eyes for refuge1 for comfort4 ,and ,doctor ,levillier--8 ,at present he could only wait patiently in the hope1 doubtful1 fragmentary of revelation4 ,conversation that night was uneasy and disjointed4 ,cuckoo's defiance of ,valentine was fully apparent4 ,julian's fear1 obviously grown up to hatred1 of his former friend shone clearly4 ,there was a nakedness about the manners of both tired woman and shattered man that was disquieting and unusual4 ,valentine did not seem to notice it or to be moved about it4 ,if anything1 it might be supposed to add to his pleasure an unnatural revelry in being hated4 ,doctor ,levillier1 glancing from him to ,julian1 found him self-involved in remembrances of ,rip and ,valentine4 ,the terror and the hate of the dog seemed to be reproduced vividly in the terror and the hate of the man4 ,valentine watched both with smiling eyes and drew draughts of power from that fountain of horror4 ,at last conversation failed entirely4 ,julian was half stretched on the divan1 gazing at ,cuckoo as one who aspires to salvation4 ,it was apparent that he was fully awake to the terror of his own situation2 that he pierced the depths of the abyss into which he had fallen1 in which he lay crippled1 prisoned1 ruined4 ,yet a hope had dawned on him with the dawning of the full knowledge of his fall1 of his fantastic self-deception4 ,the great love in this woman's eyes shone down into the abyss1 shone from that face pinched by starvation4 ,there was ,heaven in it4 ,there was the flame4 ,yes1 he saw it now1 not literally as in the past days1 when its mystery had plunged him in awe1 when its presence had touched him with a great fear1 but imaginatively1 as men see flames of help1 and of faith1 and of purity1 shining in the eyes of the good women they worship1 with the reverence of earth for the distant wonder of the sky4 ,he saw it now without fear1 but with a passion of desire1 a sharp consciousness of his degradation1 that swept over him like a storm4 ,and even yet1 in this new knowledge1 this rapture of awakening1 he was still a bond slave1 or feared he was1 to this stranger with the face of a friend1 this enemy with the presence of his former guardian angel4 ,only ,cuckoo could save him1 he said to himself1 if indeed the day of salvation were not long ago past--only ,cuckoo4 ,for despite her many sins1 the flame shone in her eyes4 ,and where the flame shone there alone was even the shadow of help1 a shadow within the shadow of those eyes4 ,in the silence that had come upon his guests1 ,valentine turned to them1 and said3 ,we are supposed to be here for a sitting4 ,well1 shall we have it8 ,yes--yes1 ,julian said1 a last sitting4 ,why--last8 ,julian sat up on the divan1 and his hands were clenched on the cushions4 ,because if nothing happens to-night ,i'll give it up4 ,i'll never sit again4 ,and if ,cuckoo sleeps-- ,he paused4 ,she will sleep1 ,valentine said4 ,i have the power to make her4 ,no1 said ,cuckoo4 ,don't you think so1 doctor8 ,it seemed so the other night1 the doctor answered4 ,and with each sitting my power will increase4 ,do you hear1 ,julian8 ,you're very fond of talking about your power1 ,julian said1 roughly4 ,no4 ,but ,i may be very fond of exercising it4 ,why help me1 then1 by sitting8 ,he spoke in a bantering tone4 ,julian began to look doubtful4 ,could it be that all was changed1 that there was only danger in this act1 that to grope thus in the darkness for lost hope1 lost safety1 a lost ,valentine1 with love1 trust1 beauty1 still clinging about him1 was to stumble further into a deepening night8 ,it might be so4 ,and if ,cuckoo slept--6 ,valentine smiled at this wavering approach of indecision4 ,but ,doctor ,levillier said1 decisively3 ,i wish to sit4 ,it interests me4 ,send me to sleep1 too1 if you can1 ,cresswell4 ,i will1 ,valentine answered1 lightly4 ,come4 ,the doctor saw him standing for a moment in the light1 with a glory of power and of triumph upon his face1 and remembered that glory1 even seemed to see it1 a clear vision1 when darkness filled the room4 ,out of the darkness came the murmur of a voice4 ,the last sitting1 it said4 ,julian was the speaker4 ,nobody replied4 ,silence followed4 ,as before1 the doctor sat between ,julian and ,valentine and touched their hands4 ,as before1 the darkness1 and this mutual act in it1 developed in him the faculty of hearing1 or of thinking he heard1 the voices of the thoughts of his companions4 ,so far this night echoed the last night of the year4 ,would it echo that night farther still to the ultimate notes of this music of minds8 ,the doctor wondered4 ,he was soon to know4 ,once again the notes of ,valentine's ,litany stole upon his heart4 ,and to-night they seemed to him louder1 more strident than before1 as if blared from a soul that held a veritable brass band of shrill egoism within it4 ,the doctor listened4 ,he remembered presently that the former ,litany had been broken sometimes1 hesitating1 that ,valentine had been assailed by vague fears that stole upon him like ghosts from the lady of the feathers4 ,to-night those little ghosts were laid4 ,they came not4 ,it seemed that ,valentine had conquered them4 ,no longer did they crowd to hear the bold fury of the ,litany4 ,no longer dared even one to creep along alone to bend and to listen4 ,the doctor knew then that this night was not destined to be a mere echo of its fore-runner4 ,it was at first as if ,valentine had closed the rift in his lute1 had bridged the gulf between his trial and his triumph4 ,a tremendous sadness came upon the doctor with this thought1 enveloping him in a cloud of cold4 ,his heart fainted within him1 as at some great catastrophe4 ,he could have wept like a man who finds the trust of his life ill-founded1 the faith in which he has dwelt builded upon the quicksand4 ,he fancied that ,valentine instantly became aware of his distress1 and that the knowledge swelled the mighty tide of the music of the ,litany4 ,and this thought struck him and roused the man in him1 like the call of circumstance on valour1 crying3 ,will a man say that anything is irrevocable1 while there is breath in him to give the battle-cry1 strength in him to stir a limb8 ,then the faintness left him with the demeanour of that which is ashamed4 ,the cold cloud evaporated4 ,he heard the ,litany without fear1 but with a great desire to strike a lightning silence through it1 with a fine hatred that destroyed his former hopelessness4 ,this blatant will that sang ever the song of self1 that had no desire but to itself1 no glory but in its own deeds1 no aim but to impress itself upon some slave1 some ,julian of this world1 stood before the doctor's imagination like a personality1 a devil embodied1--more1 like the devil of whom men and women speak1 against whom religion prays1 and strives and rears great churches1 and consecrates priests4 ,egoism developed to the utmost limits1 is that the ,devil8 ,the doctor asked himself the question1 and the great shadow that dogs the steps of life went by him on its black mission in the likeness of ,valentine singing4 ,and all the modern world stood still to hear and whispered3 ,hark6 ,it is an angel singing6 ,if we but echo the song we touch the stars4 ,if we but echo the song we1 who are weary of time1 shall know eternity4 ,if we but echo the song we shall lay grief to rest beneath many roses1 and draw from its sculptured sepulchre the radiant form of joy4 ,we shall sing that we shall be great4 ,and the modern world lifted up its voice1 and when it sang1 harmony was slain by discord4 ,the doctor shuddered1 seeing an inferno of many circles4 ,but the coward in him did not rise again4 ,there was the gleam of a distant light upon him1 unquenchable and serene4 ,he doubted the eternity of the triumph of this ,valentine1 though he knew not why he doubted1 nor upon what his doubts were based4 ,and as this doubt1 which was a faith1 blossomed within him he had a fancy that the music of the ,litany wavered1 faltered--that through it ran a thrill like a faint shadow of some dull despair4 ,at this moment ,valentine spoke in the darkness4 ,what are you doing1 ,julian8 he asked1 quickly4 ,nothing1 ,julian answered4 ,i heard you whisper4 ,i only said something to ,cuckoo4 ,we must not talk4 ,let us link our fingers instead of only touching each other4 ,they all did so and were silent once more4 99 99 99 99 99 ,and now a fear seized the doctor4 ,he became aware that a drowsy spirit like the little sandman who threw the dust of slumber into the eyes of the children stole round the circle4 ,in his hands were poppy-seeds and opiates1 and his touch was magical with sleep4 ,valentine had surely evoked him by a strange effort of will4 ,he came1 and his feet were shod so that he moved without noise4 ,he filled the atmosphere with heaviness1 and with a murmurous melody1 like the melody of the drooping streams that hang their silver ribands over the hills of the far ,lotus land4 ,passing the doctor1 he stole to the place where ,cuckoo sat between ,julian and ,valentine4 ,and then he paused4 ,the doctor divined his mission1 to weave a veil and cast a cloud of sleep around the lady of the feathers4 ,the weariness of ,cuckoo's life lay like a burden upon her1 a heavy burden to-night1 despite the wild wakefulness of her spirit1 the passion of her answered love1 the strength of her resolution1 the purity that drew near to her at last with ivory wings along the miry ways4 ,she1 who was at last awake1 and conscious of the glory of a woman's will to rescue and to shelter1 was to sleep again4 ,the sentinel was to be overcome at her post1 that the enemy might penetrate the lines and seize the citadel4 ,how heavy the air was6 ,to the doctor it seemed alive with sleep1 as the waters of the great sea are alive with death for the sailor who sinks down in them4 ,he saw the weaving of the veil that was dropping gently round ,cuckoo4 ,he saw the cloud shrouding her in a scarcely palpable mist4 ,or was it his dream8 ,or was it his fancy8 ,for it was dark4 ,there stood the tiny1 obstinate spirit by ,cuckoo's side4 ,his hands touched her forehead1 and touched her white and weary eyelids1 and the doctor knew that all the fatigues of her life trooped together1 as at a word of command1 and came upon her to conquer her4 ,they pressed round1 nameless wearinesses induced by acts which had made ,cuckoo that which she was4 ,and they seemed to whisper to her3 ,you cannot fight4 ,you cannot protect--it is all over4 ,you can only sleep--you can only sleep4 ,sleep6 ,you are so weary4 ,sleep1 for life1 which has taken everything else from you1 has left you that4 ,cuckoo's face was white with the story of her life1 and with the wonder of her recent self-denial1 and with the memory of her martyrdom when the little old man of the many dogs shuffled to the door1 bearing from her the friend of her loneliness4 ,her eyes were hollow and desolate4 ,it seemed that she gave heed to the voices and listened to the beautiful legend of the magic and the holiness of sleep4 ,and as she seemed to give heed1 the devil of the egoism of ,valentine rose again before the doctor1 sharply outlined and distinct1 and smiled with the triumph of the egoism--that modern vampire--of all the world1 terrifically unconquerable4 ,would ,cuckoo sleep8 ,the doctor debated this question silently and with an agony of anxiety4 ,he felt as if the fate of worlds hung upon it1 and the destinies of kings4 ,would she sleep8 ,the obstinate spirit stood by her always1 and the song of ,valentine was a procession of triumph in the night4 99 99 99 99 99 ,julian's thoughts broke upon the doctor fiercely1 and swept him from his contemplation of ,cuckoo4 ,no drowsy poppy-bed was ,julian's4 ,the shadowy spirit of sleep strove not to influence him4 ,no opiates gave him peace4 ,no veil of gentle forgetfulness descended upon him4 ,he was a human being plunged in the deepest abyss of fate1 beneath the range of the starlight and the gaze of other worlds4 ,he was trembling1 stretching out his feeble hands in the blackness for guidance1 sick with apprehension1 betrayed1 deluded4 ,and now he began to writhe in the grasp of a new terror1 for it seemed to the doctor that he1 too1 was conscious of the obstinate spirit that stood beside ,cuckoo1 and that he dreaded the approach of his doom in her slumber4 ,he1 too1 murmured silently1 ,will she sleep8 ,will she sleep8 ,if indeed she slept at the word of ,valentine--,julian's last hope was gone4 ,for he had now concentrated himself almost utterly on ,cuckoo4 ,no longer did he draw near to her half in awe1 half in derision1 led to her by the presence of the flame that flickered1 something strangely apart from her1 in her sad eyes4 ,no longer did he set her and the flame apart4 ,to him she was the flame1 the only refuge1 the only safety4 ,for he sought the lost ,valentine indeed1 but with a strange hopelessness of ever finding him again4 ,she must not sleep4 ,she must not sleep4 ,in her slumber the flame would die down1 flicker lower and lower to a spark1 to grey1 cold ashes4 ,and ,julian in his distraction thought of himself as inevitably lost should the flame die1 should ,cuckoo sleep1 ruled by ,valentine4 ,the fight was between ,cuckoo1 the flame1 and ,valentine4 ,everything else fell away and left ,julian's world bare of all things save this one contest4 ,this the doctor learnt in the darkness4 ,but still the spirit of sleep kept vigil by ,cuckoo1 and the air grew heavy and full of slumber4 ,the doctor began to feel that his own powers were being strenuously attacked4 ,inertia grew in his body4 ,he sat almost like one paralyzed4 ,his limbs1 at first heavy as if loaded with intolerable weights1 gradually became numb1 until he was no longer aware of them4 ,he seemed to be merely a live mind poised there in the darkness1 striving against the power that sought to sweep from its path all those that fought against it or dared1 however feebly1 to resist it4 ,but his mind1 poised thus in this strange circle of slumber1 came by imperceptible degrees to have a grip upon the past4 ,imitating the mind that is enclosed within a drowning body1 it gazed upon the wildly flitting pictures of the years that were gone4 ,regent ,street by night rose up before it4 ,the doctor saw1 painted upon the background of the dense gloom in which they sat1 the huge and vacant thoroughfare in the last watch of the night4 ,faint figures wandered here and there1 or paused beneath the shadow of the tall blind houses1 assuming postures of fatigue or of leering and attentive evil4 ,but one moved onward steadily1 scarcely glancing to the right or to the left4 ,the doctor's mind1 watching1 knew that this moving figure was himself1 and1 as if with bodily eyes1 he marked its course down the long vista of the dim street until it passed into more private ways of the town4 ,it passed into more private ways1 but not alone4 ,a shadow followed it1 and the face of the shadow was turned away4 ,the doctor could not see it1 but there rose in him the horror and the fear which had attacked him long ago1 when he turned to pursue the thing that dogged him in the darkness4 ,and he saw the shadow waver1 pause1 then turn to flee4 ,and as it turned he thought that it had the soul1 though not the face1 of the new ,valentine4 ,then suddenly a great anger against himself was born in him4 ,why had he been so blind1 so deceived8 ,he might have protected ,julian4 ,but he1 too1 had been a foolish victim of outward beauty1 the prey of the glory of a face4 ,he had not read the book of the heart4 ,and other pictures succeeded this vision of the streets and of the shadows that walk in them by night4 ,he saw ,valentine singing while he and ,julian listened4 ,and the eyes of ,valentine were as the eyes of a saint1 but now he knew that behind them crouched a soul that was filled with evil4 ,slowly the air grew heavy4 ,slumber paced in the tiny room4 ,the doctor struggled against it4 ,but the colours of the brain-pictures faded4 ,he saw them still1 but only as one sees the world in a fog2 looming forms that have lost their true character1 that have assumed a vagueness of mystery1 outlines at once heavy and remote1 suggestive yet indefinite4 ,and still the spirit of sleep keep vigil by ,cuckoo4 99 99 99 99 99 ,there was a slight hoarse cry in the night4 ,what is that8 ,valentine said1 sharply4 ,there was no reply4 ,the doctor could have told him that the cry came from ,julian1 and that the lady of the feathers1 leaning low in her chair1 had passed from consciousness into insensibility4 ,the spirit of sleep stole away4 ,his work was accomplished4 ,julian sank forward upon the table with a gesture of utter abnegation4 ,he thought that ,cuckoo was dead4 ,he felt that she was dead1 as long ago he had felt that his loved friend1 that ,valentine who had protected him and taught him the right way of life1 was dead in the night4 ,doctor ,levillier seemed to see ,rip crouching down against the wall4 ,and now ,valentine's will prepared to assert itself finally4 ,it rose up to triumph as it had risen up to triumph over ,rip4 ,was that struggle going to be repeated8 ,nothing had intruded upon it except the marvellous tenacity of the dog1 who had died rather than yield obedience1 died fighting4 ,that tenacity surely did not dwell in the nerveless ,julian1 utterly despairing1 utterly wrecked4 ,the doctor trembled1 feeling that the close of the strange mystery was at hand4 ,and as he trembled he seemed to see in the dense darkness a tiny flame4 ,it shivered up in the blackness where ,cuckoo slept1 moved away from her1 like a thing blown on a light wind1 and flickered above the bowed1 despairing head of ,julian4 ,and1 as he watched it1 wondering1 the doctor was conscious once more that there was a new presence in the room1 something mysterious1 intent1 vehement1 yet touched with a strange and pathetic helplessness1 something that cried against itself1 something that had suffered a martyrdom unknown1 unequalled1 in all the pale history of the martyrdoms of the world4 ,the doctor recalled the sitting of the former night and his impression then--and again he was governed by the tragedy of this unknown soul4 ,its despair laid upon him cold hands4 ,its impotence crushed him4 ,he could have wept and prayed for it4 ,this was for a moment4 ,then a new wonder grew in him4 ,his eyes were on the flame which burned above the bowed head of ,julian1 and presently1 while he gazed1 he seemed to see1 beyond and through it--as one who peers through a lit window--the face of ,valentine1 the beautiful1 calm1 lofty ,valentine whom once he had loved4 ,the face was white with a soft glory of endurance1 and the eyes smiled like the eyes of a great king4 ,and the doctor knew comfort4 ,for this face1 although marred by the shadow intense suffering ever leaves behind it1 was instinct with the majesty of triumph4 ,and the eyes were bent on ,julian4 ,then ,julian moved in the darkness and looked upward1 despair seeking hope4 ,the man who sat by the doctor1 and who was now nameless to him1 was filled with a passionate fury4 ,the doctor heard the ,litany of his glory cease1 and the long pulse of his heart throbbing with effort4 ,his soul rose up1 as the cruel spectre of the new ,valentine had risen up to seize upon ,rip1 and moved towards ,julian to dominate him finally1 to draw him into its own eternal evil and pride and passion of degraded power4 ,but ,julian stretched his arms towards the flame which drew its brightness and its force from ,cuckoo sleeping4 ,that was a last battle of souls1 and the allegory of it came clearly to the doctor's mind4 ,he divined1 as in a vision1 or as in a dream that is more real than reality1 the story of his friend1 the true ,valentine1 whom he had loved4 ,he remembered ,valentine's dissatisfaction with the glory of his own beautiful nature1 his mad desire to change it4 ,that dissatisfaction1 that desire1 had been the opportunity of the enemy4 ,the soul that sighed in sorrow as it contemplated its own loveliness had been expelled by the soul that was completely satisfied with its own hatefulness4 ,the weakness of the flame of purity had built up the strength of the flame of impurity4 ,and so beauty was driven out to wander in the wilderness of the air1 and ugliness dwelled in its body1 its temple swept and garnished1 like the seven devils of the ,scripture4 ,for how long a time had the wandering flame or soul of beauty been helpless1 impotent1 tortured by the appalling deception of the soul of ,julian1 whom it could no longer protect6 ,unable to be at rest1 it had stayed to contemplate the dreary legend of ,julian's gradual fall4 ,it had seen his confidence in his love for the stranger whom he thought his friend and his protector4 ,in the pale and delicate dawn1 shrouded in the mystery of night and day1 enclosed between the clasping hands of the angels of darkness and of light1 it had hung in the air above the solitary ,julian1 as he walked homeward after his vigil by the lifeless body of ,valentine4 ,with a passionate effort it had sought to draw him to a knowledge of the truth1 that he might wake from the dream in which lay his insecurity1 at last his tragic danger4 ,and faintly1 even as the first sunbeam it had dawned upon him1 once as he met the lady of the feathers1 again as he bent his gaze upon the theatrical glories that attended the apotheosis of ,margaret4 ,and it had flickered behind the film of the tears in a woman's eyes1 seeking to make itself known through the beauty of the love that clung inexorably to the heart of ,cuckoo in the midst of the degradation and the corruption of her fate4 ,cuckoo had given it a home4 ,she was alone4 ,it approached her4 ,she was an outcast4 ,it stayed with her4 ,she was beaten by the thongs of a world that teems with ,pharisees4 ,it clung to her4 ,she had1 through all her days and nights1 been put only to the black uses of evil4 ,it sought to use her only for good4 ,and now at last it drew strength and power from the soul of the lady of the feathers4 ,and the doctor knew that the secret of ,cuckoo's grand influence to succour lay in her completeness4 ,degraded1 wretched1 soiled1 ignorant1 pent within the prison-house of lust--yet she loved completely4 ,and because she loved completely1 the sad1 wandering1 driven soul of ,valentine chose her from all the world to help him in the rescue of ,julian4 ,for she1 like the widow1 had given her all to feed the poor4 ,her starvation had set her on high1 more than the starvation and the mortification of saints and hermits4 ,for they crucify the flesh for the good of their own souls4 ,cuckoo thought ever and only of another4 ,she had betrayed ,jessie and touched the stars4 ,now in her slumber1 physical allegory of her abnegation of self1 she fought in this battle of the souls4 ,the flame above the head of ,julian grew brighter4 ,the flame of ,marr1 striving with the fury of despair1 flickered lower4 ,doctor ,levillier held his breath and prayed4 ,again he thought of ,rip4 ,would ,julian too die rather than yield to the final grip of evil8 ,would he die fighting8 99 99 99 99 99 ,a strange thin cry broke through the silence4 ,the doctor saw two flames float up together through the darkness4 ,they passed before the face of ,cuckoo and were lost in the air above her4 ,two happy flames4 ,she stirred suddenly and murmured4 ,the thing that sat by the doctor sprang up4 ,light flashed through the room4 ,as it flashed the doctor leaned towards ,julian1 who lay forward with his arms stretched along the table4 ,he was dead4 ,valentine--the spirit1 at least1 that had usurped the body of ,valentine--stood looking down upon ,julian1 dead1 in silence4 ,then it turned upon the doctor4 ,the doctor stood up as one that nerves himself to meet a great horror4 ,he watched the light fade out of the eyes of this horror1 the expression slink from the features1 the breath remove from the lips1 the pulses cease in the veins and arteries1 until an image1 some lifeless and staring idol1 stood before him4 ,it swayed4 ,it tottered4 ,it fell1 crumpling itself together like things that return to dust4 ,the flesh1 formerly kept alive by the spirit1 now deserted finally by that which had dwelt within it and sought to use it for destruction1 went down to death4 ,then the lady of the feathers awoke at last from her sleep4 ,the doctor bent over her and took her hands in his4 ,it seemed to him that she had won a great battle4 ,he felt awestruck as he looked into her eyes4 ,he tried to speak to her1 but no words came to him except these1 which he murmured at last below his breath3 ,your victory4 ,cuckoo looked up at him4 ,her eyes were still lightly clouded with sleep1 but they were smiling1 as if they had been gazing upon the face of beauty4 ,for how long had ,cuckoo slept8 ,surely through all the length of her life1 through all the tears that she had shed1 through all the sad deeds that she had committed6 ,now1 at last1 she woke4 ,her slumber had been as the deep slumber of death4 ,and from death do we not awake to a new understanding and to a new world8