,,searchlights ,,on ,,health ,,the ,,science ,,of ,,eugenics 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,guide to ,purity and ,physical ,manhood ,advice to ,maiden1 ,wife and ,mother ,love1 ,courtship1 and ,marriage 99 99 99 99 99 ,by ,,prof4 ,b4,g4 ,,jefferis1 ,m4,d41 ,,ph4 ,d4 and ,j4,l4 ,,nicols1 ,a4,m4 ,with ,excerpts from ,well-,known ,authorities ,,rev4 ,,leonard ,,dawson ,,dr4 ,m4,j4 ,,savage ,,rev4 ,h4,r4 ,,haweis ,,dr4 ,,pancoast ,,dr4 ,,stall ,,dr4 ,j4,f4 ,,scott ,,dr4 ,,george ,,napheys ,,dr4 ,,stockham ,,dr4 ,t4,d4 ,,nicholls ,,dr4 ,r4,l4 ,,dugdale ,,dr4 ,,john ,,cowan ,,dr4 ,m4,l4 ,,holbrook 99 99 99 99 99 ,published by ,j4,l4 ,,nichols ,,company ,naperville1 ,illinois1 ,u4,s4,a4 #aibj ,,agents ,,wanted ,vice has no friend like the prejudice which claims to be virtue4--,lord ,lytton4 ,when the judgment's weak1 the prejudice is strong4--,kate ,o',hare4 ,it is the first right of every child to be well born4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,copyrighted #aiai1 ,,by ,j4,l4 ,,nichols ,,co4 ,,over #a1jjj1jjj ,,copies ,,sold 99 99 99 99 99 ,,table ,,of ,,contents4 ,transcriber's ,note3 ,this ,table of ,contents does not appear in the original book4 ,it has been added to this document for ease of navigation4 ,knowledge is ,safety1 page #c ,the ,beginning of ,life1 page #e ,health a ,duty1 page #g ,value of ,reputation1 page #i ,influence of ,associates1 page #aa ,self-,control1 page #ab ,habit1 page #ag ,a ,good ,name1 page #ah ,the ,mother's ,influence1 page #ba ,home ,power1 page #bc ,to ,young ,women1 page #bf ,influence of ,female ,character1 page #cj ,personal ,purity1 page #ca ,how ,to ,write ,all ,kinds of ,letters1 page #cd ,how ,to ,write a ,love ,letter1 page #cg ,forms of ,social ,letters1 page #ci ,letter ,writing1 page #dc ,forms of ,love ,letters1 page #dd ,hints and ,helps on ,good ,behavior at ,all ,times and at ,all ,places1 page #di ,a ,complete ,etiquette in a ,few ,practical ,rules1 page #eb ,etiquette of ,calls1 page #ef ,etiquette in ,your ,speech1 page #eg ,etiquette of ,dress and ,habits1 page #eh ,etiquette on the ,street1 page #ei ,etiquette ,between ,sexes1 page #fj ,practical ,rules on ,table ,manners1 page #fc ,social ,duties1 page #fe ,politeness1 page #gj ,influence of ,good ,character1 page #gc ,family ,government1 page #gf ,conversation1 page #gi ,the ,toilet or ,the ,care of the ,person1 page #hd ,a ,young ,man's ,personal ,appearance1 page #hf ,dress1 page #hh ,beauty1 page #ia ,sensible ,helps to ,beauty1 page #ie ,how to ,keep the ,bloom and ,grace of ,youth1 page #ig ,form and ,deformity1 page #ih ,how to ,determine a ,perfect ,human ,figure1 page #ii ,the ,history1 ,mystery1 ,benefits and ,injuries of the ,corset1 page #aja ,tight-,lacing1 page #ajd ,the ,care of the ,hair1 page #ajg ,how to ,cure ,pimples or ,other ,facial ,eruptions1 page #aaa ,black-,heads and ,flesh ,worms1 page #aab ,love1 page #aad ,the ,power and ,peculiarities of ,love1 page #aah ,amativeness or ,connubial ,love1 page #abb ,love and ,common ,sense1 page #abc ,what ,women ,love in ,men1 page #abf ,what ,men ,love in ,women1 page #abi ,history of ,marriage1 page #acb ,marriage1 page #acd ,the ,advantages of ,wedlock1 page #ace ,the ,disadvantages of ,celibacy1 page #ach ,old ,maids1 page #adj ,when and ,whom to ,marry1 page #add ,choose ,intellectually--,love ,afterward1 page #adh ,love-,spats1 page #aed ,a ,broken ,heart1 page #aei ,former ,customs and ,peculiarities ,among ,men1 page #afb ,sensible ,hints in ,choosing a ,partner1 page #afe ,safe ,hints1 page #agj ,marriage ,securities1 page #agd ,women ,who ,make the ,best ,wives1 page #agh ,adaptation1 ,conjugal ,affection1 and ,fatal ,errors1 page #aha ,first ,love1 ,desertion and ,divorce1 page #ahe ,flirting and ,its ,dangers1 page #aij ,a ,word to ,maidens1 page #aib ,popping the ,question1 page #aid ,the ,wedding1 page #bjj ,advice to ,newly ,married ,couples1 page #bja ,sexual ,proprieties and ,improprieties1 page #bjf ,how to ,perpetuate the ,honey-,moon1 page #bji ,how to ,be a ,good ,wife1 page #baj ,how to ,be a ,good ,husband1 page #baa ,cause of ,family ,troubles1 page #bag ,jealousy--,its ,cause and ,cure1 page #bai ,the ,improvement of ,offspring1 page #bbb ,too ,many ,children1 page #bbi ,small ,families and the ,improvement of the ,race1 page #bcb ,the ,generative ,organs1 page #bcd ,the ,female ,sexual ,organs1 page #bce ,the ,mysteries of the ,formation of ,life1 page #bch ,conception--,its ,limitations1 page #bdj ,prenatal ,influences1 page #bdd ,vaginal ,cleanliness1 page #bdf ,impotence and ,sterility1 page #bdh ,producing ,boys or ,girls at ,will1 page #beb ,abortion or ,miscarriage1 page #bec ,the ,murder of ,innocents1 page #bef ,the ,unwelcome ,child1 page #beh ,health and ,disease1 page #bfc ,preparation for ,maternity1 page #bff ,impregnation1 page #bfi ,signs and ,symptoms of ,pregnancy1 page #bgj ,diseases of ,pregnancy1 page #bgd ,morning ,sickness1 page #bhb ,relation of ,husband and ,wife ,during ,pregnancy1 page #bhc ,a ,private ,word to the ,expectant ,mother1 page #bhd ,shall ,pregnant ,women ,work81 page #bhe ,words for ,young ,mothers1 page #bhf ,how to ,have ,beautiful ,children1 page #bhh ,education of the ,child in the ,womb1 page #bib ,how to ,calculate the ,time of ,expected ,labor1 page #bie ,the ,signs and ,symptoms of ,labor1 page #big ,special ,safeguards in ,confinement1 page #bii ,where ,did the ,baby ,come ,from81 page #cjc ,child ,bearing ,without ,pain1 page #cjd ,solemn ,lessons for ,parents1 page #cab ,ten ,health ,rules for ,babies ,cut ,death ,rate in ,two1 page #cad ,the ,care of ,new-,born ,infants1 page #cae ,nursing1 page #cag ,infantile ,convulsions1 page #cai ,feeding ,infants1 page #cai ,pains and ,ills in ,nursing1 page #cba ,home ,lessons in ,nursing ,sick ,children1 page #cbe ,a ,table for ,feeding a ,baby on ,modified ,milk1 page #cbi ,nursing ,intervals ,table1 page #cbi ,schedule for ,feeding ,healthy ,infants ,during ,first ,year ,table1 page #cbi ,how to ,keep a ,baby ,well1 page #ccj ,how to ,preserve the ,health and ,life of ,your ,infant ,during ,hot ,weather1 page #ccb ,infant ,teething1 page #ccf ,home ,treatments for the ,diseases of ,infants and ,children1 page #cch ,diseases of ,women1 page #cdh ,falling of the ,womb1 page #cej ,menstruation1 page #cea ,celebrated ,prescriptions for ,all ,diseases and ,how to ,use ,them1 page #ced ,how to ,cure ,apoplexy1 ,bad ,breath and ,quinsy1 page #cfe ,sensible ,rules for the ,nurse1 page #cff ,longevity1 page #cfg ,how to ,apply and ,use ,hot ,water in ,all ,diseases1 page #cfh ,practical ,rules for ,bathing1 page #cga ,all the ,different ,kinds of ,baths and ,how to ,prepare ,them1 page #cgb ,digestibility of ,food1 page #cgd ,how to ,cook for the ,sick1 page #cge ,save the ,girls1 page #chj ,save the ,boys1 page #cij ,the ,inhumanities of ,parents1 page #cif ,chastity and ,purity of ,chracter1 page #djj ,exciting the ,passions in ,children1 page #djd ,puberty1 ,virility1 and ,hygenic ,laws1 page #djf ,our ,secret ,sins1 page #dji ,physical and ,moral ,degeneracy1 page #dad ,immorality1 ,disease1 and ,death1 page #daf ,poisonous ,literature and ,bad ,pictures1 page #dba ,startling ,sins1 page #dbc ,the ,prostitution of ,men1 page #dbg ,the ,road to ,shame1 page #dcj ,the ,curse of ,manhood1 page #dcc ,a ,private ,talk to ,young ,men1 page #dcg ,remedies for the ,social ,evil1 page #ddj ,the ,selfish ,slaves of ,doses of ,disease and ,death1 page #dda ,object ,lessons of the ,effects of ,alcohol and ,smoking1 page #dde ,the ,destructive ,effects of ,cigarette ,smoking1 page #ddi ,the ,dangerous ,vices1 page #dea ,nocturnal ,emissions1 page #deg ,lost ,manhood ,restored1 page #dei ,manhood ,wrecked and ,rescued1 page #dfa ,the ,curse and ,consequence of ,secret ,diseases1 page #dfd ,animal ,magnetism1 page #dgj ,how to ,read ,character1 page #dgc ,twilight ,sleep1 page #dgi ,painless ,childbirth1 page #dgi ,the ,diseases of ,women1 page #dhj ,remedies for ,diseases of ,women1 page #dhc ,alphabetical ,index1 page #dhf 99 99 99 99 99 ,,he ,,stumbleth ,,not1 ,,because ,,he ,,seeth ,,the ,,light4 ,illustration3 ,search ,me4 ,oh ,thou ,great ,creator4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,knowledge ,,is ,,safety4 #a4 ,the old maxim1 that ,knowledge is power1 is a true one1 but there is still a greater truth3 ,,knowledge ,,is ,,safety4 ,safety amid physical ills that beset mankind1 and safety amid the moral pitfalls that surround so many young people1 is the great crying demand of the age4 #b4 ,,criticism4--,this work1 though plain and to some extent startling1 is chaste1 practical and to the point1 and will be a boon and a blessing to thousands who consult its pages4 ,the world is full of ignorance1 and the ignorant will always criticise1 because they live to suffer ills1 for they know no better4 ,new light is fast falling upon the dark corners1 and the eyes of many are being opened4 #c4 ,,researches ,,of ,,science4--,the researches of science in the past few years have thrown light on many facts relating to the physiology of man and woman1 and the diseases to which they are subject1 and consequently many reformations have taken place in the treatment and prevention of diseases peculiar to the sexes4 #d4 ,,lock ,,and ,,key4--,any information bearing upon the diseases of mankind should not be kept under lock and key4 ,the physician is frequently called upon to speak in plain language to his patients upon some private and startling disease contracted on account of ignorance4 ,the better plan1 however1 is to so educate and enlighten old and young upon the important subjects of health1 so that the necessity to call a physician may occur less frequently4 #e4 ,,progression4--,a large1 respectable1 though diminishing class in every community1 maintain that nothing that relates exclusively to either sex should become the subject of popular medical instruction4 ,but such an opinion is radically wrong2 ignorance is no more the mother of purity than it is of religion4 ,enlightenment can never work injustice to him who investigates4 #f4 ,,an ,,example4--,the men and women who study and practice medicine are not the worse1 but the better for such knowledge2 so it would be to the community in general if all would be properly instructed on the laws of health which relate to the sexes4 #g4 ,,crime ,,and ,,degradation4--,had every person a sound understanding on the relation of the sexes1 one of the most fertile sources of crime and degradation would be removed4 ,physicians know too well what sad consequences are constantly occurring from a lack of proper knowledge on these important subjects4 #h4 ,a ,,consistent ,,consideration4--,let the reader of this work study its pages carefully and be able to give safe counsel and advice to others1 and remember that purity of purpose and purity of character are the brightest jewels in the crown of immortality4 ,illustration3 ,,beginning ,,right4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,beginning ,,of ,,life4 #a4 ,,the ,,beginning4--,there is a charm in opening manhood which has commended itself to the imagination in every age4 ,the undefined hopes and promises of the future--the dawning strength of intellect--the vigorous flow of passion--the very exchange of home ties and protected joys for free and manly pleasures1 give to this period an interest and excitement unfelt1 perhaps1 at any other4 #b4 ,,the ,,growth ,,of ,,independence4--,hitherto life has been to boys1 as to girls1 a dependent existence--a sucker from the parent growth--a home discipline of authority and guidance and communicated impulse4 ,but henceforth it is a transplanted growth of its own--a new and free power of activity in which the mainspring is no longer authority or law from without1 but principle or opinion within4 ,the shoot which has been nourished under the shelter of the parent stem1 and bent according to its inclination1 is transferred to the open world1 where of its own impulse and character it must take root1 and grow into strength1 or sink into weakness and vice4 #c4 ,,home ,,ties4--,the thought of home must excite a pang even in the first moments of freedom4 ,its glad shelter--its kindly guidance--its very restraints1 how dear and tender must they seem in parting6 ,how brightly must they shine in the retrospect as the youth turns from them to the hardened and unfamiliar face of the world6 ,with what a sweet sadly-cheering pathos they must linger in the memory6 ,and then what chance and hazard is there in his newly-gotten freedom6 ,what instincts of warning in its very novelty and dim inexperience6 ,what possibilities of failure as well as of success in the unknown future as it stretches before him6 #d4 ,,vice ,,or ,,virtue4--,certainly there is a grave importance as well as a pleasant charm in the beginning of life4 ,there is awe as well as excitement in it when rightly viewed4 ,the possibilities that lie in it of noble or ignoble work--of happy self-sacrifice or ruinous self-indulgence--the capacities in the right use of which it may rise to heights of beautiful virtue1 in the abuse of which it may sink to the depths of debasing vice--make the crisis one of fear as well as of hope1 of sadness as well as of joy4 #e4 ,,success ,,or ,,failure4--,it is wistful as well as pleasing to think of the young passing year by year into the world1 and engaging with its duties1 its interests1 and temptations4 ,of the throng that struggle at the gates of entrance1 how many may reach their anticipated goal8 ,carry the mind forward a few years1 and some have climbed the hills of difficulty and gained the eminence on which they wished to stand--some1 although they may not have done this1 have kept their truth unhurt1 their integrity unspoiled2 but others have turned back1 or have perished by the way1 or fallen in weakness of will1 no more to rise again2 victims or their own sin4 #f4 ,,warning4--,as we place ourselves with the young at the opening gates of life1 and think of the end from the beginning1 it is a deep concern more than anything else that fills us4 ,words of earnest argument and warning counsel rather than of congratulation rise to our lips4 #g4 ,,mistakes ,,are ,,often ,,fatal4--,begin well and the habit of doing well will become quite as easy as the habit of doing badly4 ,well begun is half ended1 says the proverb3 and a good beginning is half the battle4 ,many promising young men have irretrievably injured themselves by a first false step at the commencement of life2 while others of much less promising talents1 have succeeded simply by beginning well1 and going onward4 ,the good1 practical beginning is to a certain extent1 a pledge1 a promise1 and an assurance of the ultimate prosperous issue4 ,there is many a poor creature1 now crawling through life1 miserable himself and the cause of sorrow to others1 who might have lifted up his head and prospered1 if1 instead of merely satisfying himself with resolutions of well-doing1 he had actually gone to work and made a good1 practical beginning4 #h4 ,,begin ,,at ,,the ,,right ,,place4--,too many are1 however1 impatient of results4 ,they are not satisfied to begin where their fathers did1 but where they left off4 ,they think to enjoy the fruits of industry without working for them4 ,they cannot wait for the results of labor and application1 but forestall them by too early indulgence4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,health ,a ,,duty4 ,perhaps nothing will so much hasten the time when body and mind will both be adequately cared for1 as a diffusion of the belief that the preservation of health is a duty4 ,few seem conscious that there is such a thing as physical morality4 ,men's habitual words and acts imply that they are at liberty to treat their bodies as they please4 ,disorder entailed by disobedience to nature's dictates they regard as grievances1 not as the effects of a conduct more or less flagitious4 ,though the evil consequences inflicted on their descendents and on future generations are often as great as those caused by crime1 they do not think themselves in any degree criminal4 ,it is true that in the case of drunkenness the viciousness of a bodily transgression is recognized2 but none appear to infer that if this bodily transgression is vicious1 so too is every bodily transgression4 ,the fact is1 all breaches of the law of health are physical sins4 ,when this is generally seen1 then1 and perhaps not till then1 will the physical training of the young receive all the attention it deserves4 ,purity of life and thought should be taught in the home4 ,it is the only safeguard of the young4 ,let parents wake up on this important subject4 ,illustration3 ,,gladstone4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,value ,,of ,,reputation4 #a4 ,,who ,,shall ,,estimate ,,the ,,cost4--,who shall estimate the cost of a priceless reputation--that impress which gives this human dross its currency--without which we stand despised1 debased1 depreciated8 ,who shall repair it injured8 ,who can redeem it lost8 ,oh1 well and truly does the great philosopher of poetry esteem the world's wealth as trash in the comparison4 ,without it gold has no value2 birth1 no distinction2 station1 no dignity2 beauty1 no charm2 age1 no reverence2 without it every treasure impoverishes1 every grace deforms1 every dignity degrades1 and all the arts1 the decorations and accomplishments of life stand1 like the beacon-blaze upon a rock1 warning the world that its approach is dangerous2 that its contact is death4 #b4 ,,the ,,wretch ,,without ,,it4--,the wretch without it is under eternal quarantine2 no friend to greet2 no home to harbor him1 the voyage of his life becomes a joyless peril1 and in the midst of all ambition can achieve1 or avarice amass1 or rapacity plunder1 he tosses on the surge1 a buoyant pestilence4 ,but let me not degrade into selfishness of individual safety or individual exposure this individual principle2 it testifies a higher1 a more ennobling origin4 #c4 ,,its ,,divinity4--,oh1 ,divine1 oh1 delightful legacy of a spotless reputation3 ,rich is the inheritance it leaves2 pious the example it testifies2 pure1 precious and imperishable1 the hope which it inspires2 can there be conceived a more atrocious injury than to filch from its possessor this inestimable benefit to rob society of its charm1 and solitude of its solace2 not only to out-law life1 but attain death1 converting the very grave1 the refuge of the sufferer1 into the gate of infamy and of shame4 #d4 ,,lost ,,character4--,we can conceive few crimes beyond it4 ,he who plunders my property takes from me that which can be repaired by time2 but what period can repair a ruined reputation8 ,he who maims my person effects that which medicine may remedy2 but what herb has sovereignty over the wounds of slander8 ,he who ridicules my poverty or reproaches my profession1 upbraids me with that which industry may retrieve1 and integrity may purify2 but what riches shall redeem the bankrupt fame8 ,what power shall blanch the sullied show of character8 ,there can be no injury more deadly4 ,there can be no crime more cruel4 ,it is without remedy4 ,it is without antidote4 ,it is without evasion4 ,illustration3 ,,gathering ,,wild ,,flowers4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,influence ,,of ,,associates4 ,if you always live with those who are lame1 you will learn to limp4--,,from ,,the ,,latin4 ,if men wish to be held in esteem1 they must associate with those who are estimable4--,,la ,,bruyere4 #a4 ,,by ,,what ,,men ,,are ,,known4--,an author is known by his writings1 a mother by her daughter1 a fool by his words1 and all men by their companions4 #b4 ,,formation ,,of ,a ,,good ,,character4--,intercourse with persons of decided virtue and excellence is of great importance in the formation of a good character4 ,the force of example is powerful2 we are creatures of imitation1 and1 by a necessary influence1 our tempers and habits are very much formed on the model of those with whom we familiarly associate4 ,better be alone than in bad company4 ,evil communications corrupt good manners4 ,ill qualities are catching as well as diseases2 and the mind is at least as much1 if not a great deal more1 liable to infection1 than the body4 ,go with mean people1 and you think life is mean4 #c4 ,,good ,,example4--,how natural is it for a child to look up to those around him for an example of imitation1 and how readily does he copy all that he sees done1 good or bad4 ,the importance of a good example on which the young may exercise this powerful and active element of their nature1 is a matter of the utmost moment4 #d4 ,a ,,true ,,maxim4--,it is a trite1 but true maxim1 that a man is known by the company he keeps4 ,he naturally assimilates by the force of imitation1 to the habits and manners of those by whom he is surrounded4 ,we know persons who walk much with the lame1 who have learned to walk with a hitch or limp like their lame friends4 ,vice stalks in the streets unabashed1 and children copy it4 #e4 ,,live ,,with ,,the ,,culpable4--,live with the culpable1 and you will be very likely to die with the criminal4 ,bad company is like a nail driven into a post1 which after the first or second blow1 may be drawn out with little difficulty2 but being once driven in up to the head1 the pinchers cannot take hold to draw it out1 which can only be done by the destruction of the wood4 ,you may be ever so pure1 you cannot associate with bad companions without falling into bad odor4 #f4 ,,society ,,of ,,the ,,vulgar4--,do you love the society of the vulgar8 ,then you are already debased in your sentiments4 ,do you seek to be with the profane8 ,in your heart you are like them4 ,are jesters and buffoons your choice friends8 ,he who loves to laugh at folly is himself a fool4 ,do you love and seek the society of the wise and good8 ,is this your habit8 ,had you rather take the lowest seat among these than the highest seat among others8 ,then you have already learned to be good4 ,you may not make very much progress1 but even a good beginning is not to be despised4 #g4 ,,sinks ,,of ,,pollution4--,strive for mental excellence1 and strict integrity1 and you never will be found in the sinks of pollution1 and on the benches of retailers and gamblers4 ,once habituate yourself to a virtuous course1 once secure a love of good society1 and no punishment would be greater than by accident to be obliged for half a day to associate with the low and vulgar4 ,try to frequent the company of your betters4 #h4 ,,procure ,,no ,,friend ,,in ,,haste4--,nor1 if once secured1 in haste abandon them4 ,be slow in choosing an associate1 and slower to change him2 slight no man for poverty1 nor esteem any one for his wealth4 ,good friends should not be easily forgotten1 nor used as suits of apparel1 which1 when we have worn them threadbare1 we cast them off1 and call for new4 ,when once you profess yourself a friend1 endeaver to be always such4 ,he can never have any true friends that will be often changing them4 #i4 ,,have ,,the ,,courage ,,to ,,cut ,,the ,,most ,,agreeable ,,acquaintance4--,do this when you are convinced that he lacks principle2 a friend should bear with a friend's infirmities1 but not with his vices4 ,he that does a base thing in zeal for his friend1 burns the golden thread that ties their hearts together4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,self-,,control4 ,honor and profit do not always lie in the same sack4--,,george ,,herbert4 ,the government of one's self is the only true freedom for the individual4--,,frederick ,,perthes4 ,it is length of patience1 and endurance1 and forbearance that so much of what is called good in mankind and womankind is shown4--,,arthur ,,helps4 #a4 ,,essence ,,of ,,character4--,self-control is only courage under another form4 ,it may also be regarded as the primary essence of character4 ,it is in virtue of this quality that ,shakespeare defines man as a being looking before and after4 ,it forms the chief distinction between man and the mere animal2 and1 indeed1 there can be no true manhood without it4 ,illustration3 ,,result ,,of ,,bad ,,company4 #b4 ,,root ,,of ,,all ,,the ,,virtues4--,self-control is at the root of all the virtues4 ,let a man give the reins to his impulses and passions1 and from that moment he yields up his moral freedom4 ,he is carried along the current of life1 and becomes the slave of his strongest desire for the time being4 #c4 ,,resist ,,instinctive ,,impulse4--,to be morally free--to be more than an animal--man must be able to resist instinctive impulse1 and this can only be done by exercise of self-control4 ,thus it is this power which constitutes the real distinction between a physical and a moral life1 and that forms the primary basis of individual character4 #d4 ,a ,,strong ,,man ,,ruleth ,,his ,,own ,,spirit4--,in the ,bible praise is given1 not to a strong man who taketh a city1 but to the stronger man who ruleth his own spirit4 ,this stronger man is he who1 by discipline1 exercises a constant control over his thoughts1 his speech1 and his acts4 ,nine-tenths of the vicious desires that degrade society1 and which1 when indulged1 swell into the crimes that disgrace it1 would shrink into insignificance before the advance of valiant self-discipline1 self-respect1 and self-control4 ,by the watchful exercise of these virtues1 purity of heart and mind become habitual1 and the character is built up in chastity1 virtue1 and temperance4 #e4 ,,the ,,best ,,support4--,the best support of character will always be found in habit1 which1 according as the will is directed rightly or wrongly1 as the case may be1 will prove either a benignant ruler1 or a cruel despot4 ,we may be its willing subject on the one hand1 or its servile slave on the other4 ,it may help us on the road to good1 or it may hurry us on the road to ruin4 #f4 ,,the ,,ideal ,,man4--,in the supremacy of self-control1 says ,herbert ,spencer1 consists one of the perfections of the ideal man4 ,not to be impulsive1 not to be spurred hither and thither by each desire that in turn comes upper-most1 but to be self-restrained1 self-balanced1 governed by the joint decision of the feelings in council assembled1 before whom every action shall have been fully debated1 and calmly determined--that it is which education1 moral education at least1 strives to produce4 #g4 ,,the ,,best ,,regulated ,,home4--,the best regulated home is always that in which the discipline is the most perfect1 and yet where it is the least felt4 ,moral discipline acts with the force of a law of nature4 ,those subject to it yield themselves to it unconsciously2 and though it shapes and forms the whole character1 until the life becomes crystallized in habit1 the influence thus exercised is for the most part unseen and almost unfelt4 #h4 ,,practice ,,self-,,denial4--,if a man would get through life honorably and peaceably1 he must necessarily learn to practice self-denial in small things as well as in great4 ,men have to bear as well as to forbear4 ,the temper has to be held in subjection to the judgment2 and the little demons of ill-humor1 petulance1 and sarcasm1 kept resolutely at a distance4 ,if once they find an entrance to the mind1 they are apt to return1 and to establish for themselves a permanent occupation there4 #i4 ,,power ,,of ,,words4--,it is necessary to one's personal happiness1 to exercise control over one's words as well as acts3 for there are words that strike even harder than blows2 and men may speak daggers1 though they use none4 ,the stinging repartee that rises to the lips1 and which1 if uttered1 might cover an adversary with confusion1 how difficult it is to resist saying it6 ,heaven1 keep us1 says ,miss ,bremer1 in her ',home'1 from the destroying power of words6 ,there are words that sever hearts more than sharp swords do2 there are words the point of which sting the heart through the course of a whole life4 #aj4 ,,character ,,exhibits ,,itself4--,character exhibits itself in self-control of speech as much as in anything else4 ,the wise and forbearant man will restrain his desire to say a smart or severe thing at the expense of another's feeling2 while the fool blurts out what he thinks1 and will sacrifice his friend rather than his joke4 ,the mouth of a wise man1 said ,solomon1 is in his heart2 the heart of a fool is in his mouth4 #aa4 ,,burns4--,no one knew the value of self-control better than the poet ,burns1 and no one could teach it more eloquently to others1 but when it came to practice1 ,burns was as weak as the weakest4 ,he could not deny himself the pleasure of uttering a harsh and clever sarcasm at another's expense4 ,one of his biographers observed of him1 that it was no extravagant arithmetic to say that for every ten jokes he made himself a hundred enemies4 ,but this was not all4 ,poor ,burns exercised no control over his appetites1 but freely gave them the rein3 ,thus thoughtless follies laid him low1 ,and stained his name4 #ab4 ,,sow ,,pollution4--,nor had he the self-denial to resist giving publicity to compositions originally intended for the delight of the tap-room1 but which continued secretly to sow pollution broadcast in the minds of youth4 ,indeed1 notwithstanding the many exquisite poems of this writer1 it is not saying too much that his immoral writings have done far more harm than his purer writings have done good2 and it would be better that all his writings should be destroyed and forgotten1 provided his indecent songs could be destroyed with them4 #ac4 ,,moral ,,principle4--,many of our young men lack moral principle4 ,they cannot look upon a beautiful girl with a pure heart and pure thoughts4 ,they have not manifested or practiced that self-control which develops true manhood and brings into subordination evil thoughts1 evil passions1 and evil practices4 ,men who have no self-control will find life a failure1 both in a social and in a business sense4 ,the world despises an insignificant person who lacks backbone and character4 ,stand upon your manhood and womanhood2 honor your convictions1 and dare to do right4 #ad4 ,,strong ,,drink4--,there is the habit of strong drink4 ,it is only the lack of self-control that brings men into the depths of degradation2 on account of the cup1 the habit of taking drink occasionally in its milder forms--of playing with a small appetite that only needs sufficient playing with to make you a demon or a dolt4 ,you think you are safe2 ,i know you are not safe1 if you drink at all2 and when you get offended with the good friends that warn you of your danger1 you are a fool4 ,i know that the grave swallows daily1 by scores1 drunkards1 every one of whom thought he was safe while he was forming his appetite4 ,but this is old talk4 ,a young man in this age who forms the habit of drinking1 or puts himself in danger of forming the habit1 is usually so weak that he does not realize the consequences4 ,illustration3 ,,lost ,,self-,,control4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,habit4 ,it is almost as difficult to make a man unlearn his ,errors as his ,knowledge4--,,colton4 ,there are habits contracted by bad example1 or bad management1 before we have judgment to discern their approaches1 or because the eye of ,reason is laid asleep1 or has not compass of view sufficient to look around on every quarter4--,,tucker4 #a4 ,,habit4--,our real strength in life depends upon habits formed in early life4 ,the young man who sows his wild oats and indulges in the social cup1 is fastening chains upon himself that never can be broken4 ,the innocent youth by solitary practice of self-abuse will fasten upon himself a habit which will wreck his physical constitution and bring suffering and misery and ruin4 ,young man and young woman1 beware of bad habits formed in early life4 #b4 ,a ,,bundle ,,of ,,habits4--,man1 it has been said1 is a bundle of habits2 and habit is second nature4 ,metastasio entertained so strong an opinion as to the power of repetition in act and thought1 that he said1 ,all is habit in mankind1 even virtue itself4 ,evil habits must be conquered1 or they will conquer us and destroy our peace and happiness4 #c4 ,,vicious ,,habits4--,vicious habits1 when opposed1 offer the most vigorous resistence on the first attack4 ,at each successive encounter this resistence grows fainter and fainter1 until finally it ceases altogether and the victory is achieved4 ,habit is man's best friend and worst enemy2 it can exalt him to the highest pinnacle of virtue1 honor and happiness1 or sink him to the lowest depths of vice1 shame and misery4 #d4 ,,honesty1 ,,or ,,knavery4--,we may form habits of honesty1 or knavery2 truth1 or falsehood2 of industry1 or idleness2 frugality1 or extravagance2 of patience1 or impatience2 self-denial1 or self-indulgence2 of kindness1 cruelty1 politeness1 rudeness1 prudence1 perseverance1 circumspection4 ,in short1 there1 is not a virtue1 nor a vice2 not an act of body1 nor of mind1 to which we may not be chained down by this despotic power4 #e4 ,,begin ,,well4--,it is a great point for young men to begin well2 for it is the beginning of life that that system of conduct is adopted which soon assumes the force of habit4 ,begin well1 and the habit of doing well will become quite easy1 as easy as the habit of doing badly4 ,pitch upon that course of life which is the most excellent1 and habit will render it the most delightful4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,good ,,name4 #a4 ,,the ,,longing ,,for ,a ,,good ,,name4--,the longing for a good name is one of those laws of nature that were passed for the soul and written down within to urge toward a life of action1 and away from small or wicked action4 ,so large is this passion that it is set forth in poetic thought1 as having a temple grand as that of ,jupiter or ,minerva1 and up whose marble steps all noble minds struggle--the temple of ,fame4 #b4 ,,civilization4--,civilization is the ocean of which the millions of individuals are the rivers and torrents4 ,these rivers and torrents swell with those rains of money and home and fame and happiness1 and then fall and run almost dry1 but the ocean of civilization has gathered up all these waters1 and holds them in sparkling beauty for all subsequent use4 ,civilization is a fertile delta made by the drifting souls of men4 #c4 ,,fame4--,the word fame never signifies simply notoriety4 ,the meaning of the direct term may be seen from its negation or opposite1 for only the meanest of men are called infamous4 ,they are utterly without fame1 utterly nameless2 but if fame implied only notoriety1 then infamous would possess no marked significance4 ,fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention to the living1 but who bedizens the dead1 furnishes out their funerals and follows them to the grave4 #d4 ,,life-,,motive4--,so in studying that life-motive which is called a good name1 we must ask the large human race to tell us the high merit of this spiritual longing4 ,we must read the words of the sage1 who said long centuries ago that a good name was rather chosen than great riches4 ,other sages have said as much4 ,solon said that ,he that will sell his good name will sell the ,state4 ,socrates said1 ,fame is the perfume of heroic deeds4 ,our ,shakespeare said1 ,he lives in fame who died in virtue's cause4 #e4 ,,influences ,,of ,,our ,,age4--,our age is deeply influenced by the motives called property and home and pleasure1 but it is a question whether the generation in action today and the generation on the threshold of this intense life are conscious fully of the worth of an honorable name4 #f4 ,,beauty ,,of ,,character4--,we do not know whether with us all a good name is less sweet than it was with our fathers1 but this is painfully evident that our times do not sufficiently behold the beauty of character--their sense does not detect quickly enough or love deeply enough this aroma of heroic deeds4 #g4 ,,selling ,,out ,,their ,,reputation4--,it is amazing what multitudes there are who are willing to sell out their reputation1 and amazing at what a low price they will make the painful exchange4 ,some king remarked that he would not tell a lie for any reward less than an empire4 ,it is not uncommon in our world for a man to sell out all his honor and hopes for a score or a half score of dollars4 #h4 ,,prisons ,,overflowing4--,our prisons are all full to overflowing of those who took no thought of honor4 ,they have not waited for an empire to be offered them before they would violate the sacred rights of man1 but many of them have even murdered for a cause that would not have justified even an exchange of words4 #i4 ,,integrity ,,the ,,pride ,,of ,,the ,,government4--,if integrity were made the pride of the government1 the love of it would soon spring up among the people4 ,if all fraudulent men should go straight to jail1 pitilessly1 and if all the most rigid characters were sought out for all political and commercial offices1 there would soon come a popular honesty just as there has come a love of reading or of art4 ,it is with character as with any new article--the difficulty lies in its first introduction4 #aj4 ,a ,,new ,,virtue4--,may a new virtue come into favor1 all our high rewards1 those from the ballot-box1 those from employers1 the rewards of society1 the rewards of the press1 should be offered only to the worthy4 ,a few years of rewarding the worthy would result in a wonderful zeal in the young to build up1 not physical property1 but mental and spiritual worth4 #aa4 ,,blessing ,,the ,,family ,,group4--,no young man or young woman can by industry and care reach an eminence in study or art or character1 without blessing the entire family group4 ,we have all seen that the father and mother feel that all life's care and labor were at last perfectly rewarded in the success of their child4 ,but had the child been reckless or indolent1 all this domestic joy--the joy of a large group--would have been blighted forever4 #ab4 ,,an ,,honored ,,child4--,there have been triumphs at old ,rome1 where victors marched along with many a chariot1 many an elephant1 and many spoils of the ,east2 and in all times money has been lavished in the efforts of ,states to tell their pleasure in the name of some general2 but more numerous and wide-spread and beyond expression1 by chariot or cannon or drum1 have been those triumphal hours1 when some son or daughter has returned to the parental hearth beautiful in the wreaths of some confessed excellence1 bearing a good name4 #ac4 ,,rich ,,criminals4--,we looked at the utter wretchedness of the men who threw away reputation1 and would rather be rich criminals in exile than be loved friends and persons at home4 #ad4 ,,an ,,empty1 ,,or ,,an ,,evil ,,name4--,young and old cannot afford to bear the burden of an empty or an evil name4 ,a good name is a motive of life4 ,it is a reason for that great encampment we call an existence4 ,while you are building the home of to-morrow1 build up also that kind of soul that can sleep sweetly on home's pillow1 and can feel that ,god is not near as an avenger of wrong1 but as the ,father not only of the verdure and the seasons1 but of you4 ,illustration3 ,,an ,,egyptian ,,dancer4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,mother',s ,,influence4 ,mother1 ,o mother1 my heart calls for you1 ,many a ,summer the grass has grown green1 ,blossomed and faded1 our faces between2 ,yet with strong yearning and passionate pain1 ,long ,i to-night for your presence again4 --,elizabeth ,akers ,allen4 ,a mother is a mother still1 ,the holiest thing alive4 --,coleridge4 ,there is none1 ,in all this cold and hollow world1 no fount ,of deep1 strong1 deathless love1 save that within ,a mother's heart4 --,mrs4 ,hemans4 ,and all my mother came into mine eyes1 ,and gave me up to tears4 --,shakespeare4 #a4 ,,her ,,influence4--,it is true to nature1 although it be expressed in a figurative form1 that a mother is both the morning and the evening star of life4 ,the light of her eye is always the first to rise1 and often the last to set upon man's day of trial4 ,she wields a power more decisive far than syllogisms in argument or courts of last appeal in authority4 #b4 ,,her ,,love4--,mother6 ecstatic sound so twined round our hearts that they must cease to throb ere we forget it2 'tis our first love2 'tis part of religion4 ,nature has set the mother upon such a pinnacle that our infant eyes and arms are first uplifted to it2 we cling to it in manhood2 we almost worship it in old age4 #c4 ,,her ,,tenderness4--,alas6 how little do we appreciate a mother's tenderness while living4 ,how heedless are we in youth of all her anxieties and kindness6 ,but when she is dead and gone1 when the cares and coldness of the world come withering to our hearts1 when we experience for ourselves how hard it is to find true sympathy1 how few to love us1 how few will befriend us in misfortune1 then it is that we think of the mother we have lost4 #d4 ,,her ,,controlling ,,power4--,the mother can take man's whole nature under her control4 ,she becomes what she has been called ,the ,divinity of ,infancy4 ,her smile is its sunshine1 her word its mildest law1 until sin and the world have steeled the heart4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,prayerful ,,and ,,devoted ,,mother4 #e4 ,,the ,,last ,,tie4--,the young man who has forsaken the advice and influence of his mother has broken the last cable and severed the last tie that binds him to an honorable and upright life4 ,he has forsaken his best friend1 and every hope for his future welfare may be abandoned1 for he is lost forever1 if he is faithless to mother1 he will have but little respect for wife and children4 #f4 ,,home ,,ties4--,the young man or young woman who love their home and love their mother can be safely trusted under almost any and all circumstances1 and their life will not be a blank1 for they seek what is good4 ,their hearts will be ennobled1 and ,god will bless them4 ,illustration3 ,,home ,,amusements4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,home ,,power4 ,the mill-streams that turn the clappers of the world arise in solitary places4--,,helps4 ,lord6 with what care hast ,thou begirt us round6 ,parents first season us4 ,then schoolmasters ,deliver us to laws4 ,they send us bound ,to rules of reason4--,,george ,,herbert4 #a4 ,,school ,,of ,,character4--,home is the first and most important school of character4 ,it is there that every human being receives his best moral training1 or his worst1 for it is there that he imbibes those principles of conduct which endure through manhood1 and cease only with life4 #b4 ,,home ,,makes ,,the ,,man4--,it is a common saying1 ,manners make the man2 and there is a second1 that ,mind makes the man2 but truer than either is a third1 that ,home makes the man4 ,for the home-training includes not only manners and mind1 but character4 ,it is mainly in the home that the heart is opened1 the habits are formed1 the intellect is awakened1 and character moulded for good or for evil4 #c4 ,,govern ,,society4--,from that source1 be it pure or impure1 issue the principles and maxims that govern society4 ,law itself is but the reflex of homes4 ,the tiniest bits of opinion sown in the minds of children in private life afterwards issue forth to the world1 and become its public opinion2 for nations are gathered out of nurseries1 and they who hold the leading-strings of children may even exercise a greater power than those who wield the reins of government4 #d4 ,,the ,,child ,,is ,,father ,,of ,,the ,,man4--,the child's character is the nucleus of the man's2 all after-education is but superposition2 the form of the crystal remains the same4 ,thus the saying of the poet holds true in a large degree1 ,the child is father of the man2 or as ,milton puts it1 ,the childhood shows the man1 as morning shows the day4 ,those impulses to conduct which last the longest and are rooted the deepest1 always have their origin near our birth4 ,it is then that the germs of virtues or vices1 of feelings or sentiments1 are first implanted which determine the character of life4 #e4 ,,nurseries4--,thus homes1 which are nurseries of children who grow up into men and women1 will be good or bad according to the power that governs them4 ,where the spirit of love and duty pervades the home1 where head and heart bear rule wisely there1 where the daily life is honest and virtuous1 where the government is sensible1 kind1 and loving1 then may we expect from such a home an issue of healthy1 useful1 and happy beings1 capable as they gain the requisite strength1 of following the footsteps of their parents1 of walking uprightly1 governing themselves wisely1 and contributing to the welfare of those about them4 #f4 ,,ignorance1 ,,coarseness1 ,,and ,,selfishness4--,on the other hand1 if surrounded by ignorance1 coarseness1 and selfishness1 they will unconsciously assume the same character1 and grow up to adult years rude1 uncultivated1 and all the more dangerous to society if placed amidst the manifold temptations of what is called civilized life4 ,give your child to be educated by a slave1 said an ancient ,greek and1 instead of one slave1 you will then have two4 #g4 ,,maternal ,,love4--,maternal love is the visible providence of our race4 ,its influence is constant and universal4 ,it begins with the education of the human being at the outstart of life1 and is prolonged by virtue of the powerful influence which every good mother exercises over her children through life4 ,when launched into the world1 each to take part in its labors1 anxieties1 and trials1 they still turn to their mother for consolation1 if not for counsel1 in their time of trouble and difficulty4 ,the pure and good thoughts she has implanted in their minds when children continue to grow up into good acts long after she is dead2 and when there is nothing but a memory of her left1 her children rise up and call her blessed4 #h4 ,,woman1 ,,above ,,all ,,other ,,educators1 educates humanly4 ,man is the brain1 but woman is the heart of humanity2 he its judgment1 she its feeling2 he its strength1 she its grace1 ornament and solace4 ,even the understanding of the best woman seems to work mainly through her affections4 ,and thus1 though man may direct the intellect1 woman cultivates the feelings1 which mainly determine the character4 ,while he fills the memory1 she occupies the heart4 ,she makes us love what he can make us only believe1 and it is chiefly through her that we are enabled to arrive at virtue4 #i4 ,,the ,,poorest ,,dwelling1 presided over by a virtuous1 thrifty1 cheerful1 and cleanly woman may thus be the abode of comfort1 virtue and happiness2 it may be the scene of every enobling relation in family life2 it may be endeared to man by many delightful associations2 furnishing a sanctuary for the heart1 a refuge from the storms of life1 a sweet resting-place after labor1 a consolation in misfortune1 a pride in prosperity and a joy at all times4 #aj4 ,,the ,,good ,,home ,,is ,,thus ,,the ,,best ,,of ,,schools1 not only in youth but in age4 ,there young and old best learn cheerfulness1 patience1 self-control1 and the spirit of service and of duty4 ,the home is the true school of courtesy1 of which woman is always the best practical instructor4 ,without woman1 says the ,provencal proverb1 men were but ill-licked cubs4 ,philanthropy radiates from the home as from a center4 ,to love the little platoon we belong to in society1 said ,burke1 is the germ of all public affections4 ,the wisest and best have not been ashamed to own it to be their greatest joy and happiness to sit behind the heads of children in the inviolable circle of home4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,day ,,dreaming4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,to ,,young ,,women4 #a4 ,,to ,,be ,a ,,woman1 in the truest and highest sense of the word is to be the best thing beneath the skies4 ,to be a woman is something more than to live eighteen or twenty years2 something more than to grow to the physical stature of women2 something more than to wear flounces1 exhibit dry goods1 sport jewelry1 catch the gaze of lewd-eyed men2 something more than to be a belle1 a wife1 or a mother4 ,put all these qualifications together and they do but little toward making a true woman4 #b4 ,,beauty ,,and ,,style are not the surest passports to womanhood--some of the noblest specimens of womanhood that the world has ever seen have presented the plainest and most unprepossessing appearance4 ,a woman's worth is to be estimated by the real goodness of her heart1 the greatness of her soul1 and the purity and sweetness of her character2 and a woman with a kindly disposition and well-balanced temper is both lovely and attractive1 be her face ever so plain1 and her figure ever so homely2 she makes the best of wives and the truest of mothers4 #c4 ,,beauty ,,is ,a ,,dangerous ,,gift4--,it is even so4 ,like wealth1 it has ruined its thousands4 ,thousands of the most beautiful women are destitute of common sense and common humanity4 ,no gift from heaven is so general and so widely abused by woman as the gift of beauty4 ,in about nine cases in ten it makes her silly1 senseless1 thoughtless1 giddy1 vain1 proud1 frivolous1 selfish1 low and mean4 ,i think ,i have seen more girls spoiled by beauty than by any other one thing1 ,she is beautiful1 and she knows it1 is as much as to say that she is spoiled4 ,a beautiful girl is very likely to believe she was made to be looked at2 and so she sets herself up for a show at every window1 in every door1 on every corner of the street1 in every company at which opportunity offers for an exhibition of herself4 #d4 ,,beware ,,of ,,beautiful ,,women4--,these facts have long since taught sensible men to beware of beautiful women--to sound them carefully before they give them their confidence4 ,beauty is shallow--only skin deep2 fleeting--only for a few years' reign2 dangerous--tempting to vanity and lightness of mind2 deceitful--dazzling of ten to bewilder2 weak--reigning only to ruin2 gross--leading often to sensual pleasure4 ,and yet we say it need not be so4 ,beauty is lovely and ought to be innocently possessed4 ,it has charms which ought to be used for good purposes4 ,it is a delightful gift1 which ought to be received with gratitude and worn with grace and meekness4 ,it should always minister to inward beauty4 ,every woman of beautiful form and features should cultivate a beautiful mind and heart4 #e4 ,,rival ,,the ,,boys4--,we want the girls to rival the boys in all that is good1 and refined1 and ennobling4 ,we want them to rival the boys1 as they well can1 in learning1 in understanding1 in virtues2 in all noble qualities of mind and heart1 but not in any of those things that have caused them1 justly or unjustly1 to be described as savages4 ,we want the girls to be gentle--not weak1 but gentle1 and kind and affectionate4 ,we want to be sure1 that wherever a girl is1 there should be a sweet1 subduing and harmonizing influence of purity1 and truth1 and love1 pervading and hallowing1 from center to circumference1 the entire circle in which she moves4 ,if the boys are savages1 we want her to be their civilizer4 ,we want her to tame them1 to subdue their ferocity1 to soften their manners1 and to teach them all needful lessons of order1 sobriety1 and meekness1 and patience and goodness4 #f4 ,,kindness4--,kindness is the ornament of man--it is the chief glory of woman--it is1 indeed1 woman's true prerogative--her sceptre and her crown4 ,it is the sword with which she conquers1 and the charm with which she captivates4 #g4 ,,admired ,,and ,,beloved4--,young lady1 would you be admired and beloved8 ,would you be an ornament to your sex1 and a blessing to your race8 ,cultivate this heavenly virtue4 ,wealth may surround you with its blandishments1 and beauty1 and learning1 or talents1 may give you admirers1 but love and kindness alone can captivate the heart4 ,whether you live in a cottage or a palace1 these graces can surround you with perpetual sunshine1 making you1 and all around you1 happy4 #h4 ,,inward ,,grace4--,seek ye then1 fair daughters1 the possession of that inward grace1 whose essence shall permeate and vitalize the affections1 adorn the countenance make mellifluous the voice1 and impart a hallowed beauty even to your motions4 ,not merely that you may be loved1 would ,i urge this1 but that you may1 in truth1 be lovely--that loveliness which fades not with time1 nor is marred or alienated by disease1 but which neither chance nor change can in any way despoil4 #i4 ,,silken ,,enticements ,,of ,,the ,,stranger4--,we urge you1 gentle maiden1 to beware of the silken enticements of the stranger1 until your love is confirmed by protracted acquaintance4 ,shun the idler1 though his coffers overflow with pelf4 ,avoid the irreverent--the scoffer of hallowed things2 and him who looks upon the wine while it is red2 him too1 who hath a high look and a proud heart1 and who privily slandereth his neighbor4 ,do not heed the specious prattle about first love1 and so place1 irrevocably1 the seal upon your future destiny1 before you have sounded1 in silence and secrecy1 the deep fountains of your own heart4 ,wait1 rather1 until your own character and that of him who would woo you1 is more fully developed4 ,surely1 if this first love cannot endure a short probation1 fortified by the pleasures of hope1 how can it be expected to survive years of intimacy1 scenes of trial1 distracting cares1 wasting sickness1 and all the homely routine of practical life8 ,yet it is these that constitute life1 and the love that cannot abide them is false and must die4 ,illustration3 ,,roman ,,ladies4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,influence ,,of ,,female ,,character4 #a4 ,,moral ,,effect4--,it is in its moral effect on the mind and the heart of man1 that the influence of woman is most powerful and important4 ,in the diversity of tastes1 habits1 inclinations1 and pursuits of the two sexes1 is found a most beneficent provision for controlling the force and extravagance of human passion4 ,the objects which most strongly seize and stimulate the mind of man1 rarely act at the same time and with equal power on the mind of woman4 ,she is naturally better1 purer1 and more chaste in thought and language4 #b4 ,,female ,,character4--,but the influence of female character on the virtue of men1 is not seen merely in restraining and softening the violence of human passion4 ,to her is mainly committed the task of pouring into the opening mind of infancy its first impressions of duty1 and of stamping on its susceptible heart the first image of its ,god4 ,who will not confess the influence of a mother in forming the heart of a child8 ,what man is there who can not trace the origin of many of the best maxims of his life to the lips of her who gave him birth8 ,how wide1 how lasting1 how sacred is that part of a woman's influence4 #c4 ,,virtue ,,of ,a ,,community4--,there is yet another mode by which woman may exert a powerful influence on the virtue of a community4 ,it rests with her in a pre-eminent degree1 to give tone and elevation to the moral character of the age1 by deciding the degree of virtue that shall be necessary to afford a passport to her society4 ,if all the favor of woman were given only to the good1 if it were known that the charms and attractions of beauty and wisdom1 and wit1 were reserved only for the pure2 if1 in one word1 something of a similar rigor were exerted to exclude the profligate and abandoned of society1 as is shown to those1 who have fallen from virtue1--how much would be done to re-enforce the motives to moral purity among us1 and impress on the minds of all a reverence for the sanctity and obligations of virtue4 #d4 ,,the ,,influence ,,of ,,woman ,,on ,,the ,,moral ,,sentiments4--,the influence of woman on the moral sentiments of society is intimately connected with her influence on its religious character2 for religion and a pure and elevated morality must ever stand in the relation to each other of effect and cause4 ,the heart of a woman is formed for the abode of sacred truth2 and for the reasons alike honorable to her character and to that of society4 ,from the nature of humanity this must be so1 or the race would soon degenerate and moral contagion eat out the heart of society4 ,the purity of home is the safeguard to ,american manhood4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,personal ,,purity4 ,self-reverence1 self-knowledge1 self-control1 ,these three alone lead life to sovereign power4--,tennyson #a4 ,,words ,,of ,,the ,,great ,,teacher4--,mark the words of the ,great ,teacher3 ,if thy right hand or foot cause thee to fall1 cut it off and cast it from thee4 ,if thy right eye cause thee to fall1 pluck it out4 ,it is better for thee to enter into life maimed and halt1 than having two eyes to be cast into hell-fire1 where the worm dieth not1 and the fire is not quenched4 #b4 ,a ,,melancholy ,,fact4--,it is a melancholy fact in human experience1 that the noblest gifts which men possess are constantly prostituted to other purposes than those for which they are designed4 ,the most valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are capable of the greatest dishonor1 abuse1 and corruption4 ,what a snare the wonderful organism of the eye may become1 when used to read corrupt books1 or to look upon licentious pictures1 or vulgar theater scenes1 or when used to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot6 ,what an instrument for depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless powers of the brain1 the hand1 the mouth1 or the tongue6 ,what potent instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole being1 for time and eternity6 #c4 ,abstinence4--,some can testify with thankfulness that they never knew the sins of gambling1 drunkenness1 fornication1 or adultery4 ,in all these cases abstinence has been1 and continues to be1 liberty4 ,restraint is the noblest freedom4 ,no man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him2 on the contrary1 self-restraint has been liberty1 strength and blessing4 ,solemnly ask young men to remember this when temptation and passion strive as a floodtide to move them from the anchorage and peace of self-restraint4 ,beware of the deceitful stream of temporary gratification1 whose eddying current drifts towards license1 shame1 disease and death4 ,remember how quickly moral power declines1 how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom is reached1 how near the vortex1 how terrible the penalty1 how fearful the sentence of everlasting punishment6 #d4 ,,frank ,,discussion4--,the time has arrived for a full and frank discussion of those things which affect the personal purity4 ,thousands are suffering to-day from various weaknesses1 the causes of which they have never learned4 ,manly vigor is not increasing with that rapidity which a ,christian age demands4 ,means of dissipation are on the increase4 ,it is high time1 therefore1 that every lover of the race should call a halt1 and inquire into the condition of things4 ,excessive modesty on this subject is not virtue4 ,timidity in presenting unpleasant but important truths has permitted untold damage in every age4 #e4 ,,man ,,is ,a ,,careless ,,being4--,he is very much inclined to sinful things4 ,he more often does that which is wrong than that which is right1 because it is easier1 and1 for the moment1 perhaps1 more satisfying to the flesh4 ,the ,creator is often blamed for man's weaknesses and inconsistencies4 ,this is wrong4 ,god did not intend that we should be mere machines1 but free moral agents4 ,we are privileged to choose between good and evil4 ,hence1 if we perseveringly choose the latter1 and make a miserable failure of life1 we should blame only ourselves4 #f4 ,,the ,,pulpit4--,would that every pulpit in the land might join hands with the medical profession and cry out with no uncertain sound against the mighty evils herein stigmatized6 ,it would work a revolution for which coming society could never cease to be grateful4 #g4 ,,strive ,,to ,,attain ,a ,,higher ,,life4--,strive to attain unto a higher and better life4 ,beware of all excesses1 of whatever nature1 and guard your personal purity with sacred determination4 ,let every aspiration be upward1 and be strong in every good1 resolution4 ,seek the light1 for in light there is life1 while in darkness there is decay and death4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,first ,,love ,,letter4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,write ,,all ,,kinds ,,of ,,letters4 #a4 ,from the ,president in his cabinet to the laborer in the street2 from the lady in her parlor to the servant in her kitchen2 from the millionaire to the beggar2 from the emigrant to the settler2 from every country and under every combination of circumstances1 letter writing in all its forms and varieties is most important to the advancement1 welfare and happiness of the human family4 #b4 ,,education4--,the art of conveying thought through the medium of written language is so valuable and so necessary1 a thorough knowledge of the practice must be desirable to every one4 ,for merely to write a good letter requires the exercise of much of the education and talent of any writer4 #c4 ,a ,,good ,,letter4--,a good letter must be correct in every mechanical detail1 finished in style1 interesting in substance1 and intelligible in construction4 ,few there are who do not need write them2 yet a letter perfect in detail is rarer than any other specimen of composition4 #d4 ,,penmanship4--,it is folly to suppose that the faculty for writing a good hand is confined to any particular persons4 ,there is no one who can write at all1 but what can write well1 if only the necessary pains are practiced4 ,practice makes perfect4 ,secure a few copy books and write an hour each day4 ,you will soon write a good hand4 #e4 ,,write ,,plainly4--,every word of even the most trifling document should be written in such clear characters that it would be impossible to mistake it for another word1 or the writer may find himself in the position of the ,eastern merchant who1 writing to the ,indies for five thousand mangoes1 received by the next vessel five hundred monkies1 with a promise of more in the next cargo4 #f4 ,,haste4--,hurry is no excuse for bad writing1 because any one of sense knows that everything hurried is liable to be ruined4 ,dispatch may be acquired1 but hurry will ruin everything4 ,if1 however1 you must write slowly to write well1 then be careful not to hurry at all1 for the few moments you will gain by rapid writing will never compensate you for the disgrace of sending an ill-written letter4 #g4 ,,neatness4--,neatness is also of great importance4 ,a fair white sheet with handsomely written words will be more welcome to any reader than a blotted1 bedaubed page covered with erasures and dirt1 even if the matter in each be of equal value and interest4 ,erasures1 blots1 interlineations always spoil the beauty of any letter4 #h4 ,,bad ,,spelling4--,when those who from faulty education1 or forgetfulness are doubtful about the correct spelling of any word1 it is best to keep a dictionary at hand1 and refer to it upon such occasions4 ,it is far better to spend a few moments in seeking for a doubtful word1 than to dispatch an ill-spelled letter1 and the search will probably impress the spelling upon the mind for a future occasion4 #i4 ,,carelessness4--,incorrect spelling will expose the most important or interesting letter to the severest sarcasm and ridicule4 ,however perfect in all other respects1 no epistle that is badly spelled will be regarded as the work of an educated gentleman or lady4 ,carelessness will never be considered1 and to be ignorant of spelling is to expose an imperfect education at once4 #aj4 ,,an ,,excellent ,,practice4--,after writing a letter1 read it over carefully1 correct all the errors and re-write it4 ,if you desire to become a good letter writer1 improve your penmanship1 improve your language and grammar1 re-writing once or twice every letter that you have occasion to write1 whether on social or business subjects4 #aa4 ,,punctuation4--,a good rule for punctuation is to punctuate where the sense requires it1 after writing a letter and reading it over carefully you will see where the punctuation marks are required1 you can readily determine where the sense requires it1 so that your letter will convey the desired meaning4 ,illustration #ab4 ,,correspondence4--,there is no better school or better source for self-improvement than a pleasant correspondence between friends4 ,it is not at all difficult to secure a good list of correspondents if desired4 ,the young people who take advantage of such opportunities for self-improvement will be much more popular in the community and in society4 ,letter writing cultivates the habit of study2 it cultivates the mind1 the heart1 and stimulates self-improvement in general4 #ac4 ,,folding4--,another bad practice with those unaccustomed to corresponding is to fold the sheet of writing in such a fantastic manner as to cause the receiver much annoyance in opening it4 ,to the sender it may appear a very ingenious performance1 but to the receiver it is only a source of vexation and annoyance1 and may prevent the communication receiving the attention it would otherwise merit4 #ad4 ,,simple ,,style4--,the style of letter writing should be simple and unaffected1 not raised on stilts and indulging in pedantic displays which are mostly regarded as cloaks of ignorance4 ,repeated literary quotations1 involved sentences1 long-sounding words and scraps of ,latin1 ,french and other languages are1 generally speaking1 out of place1 and should not be indulged in4 #ae4 ,,the ,,result4--,a well written letter has opened the way to prosperity for many a one1 has led to many a happy marriage and constant friendship1 and has secured many a good service in time of need2 for it is in some measure a photograph of the writer1 and may inspire love or hatred1 regard or aversion in the reader1 just as the glimpse of a portrait often determine us1 in our estimate1 of the worth of the person represented4 ,therefore1 one of the roads to fortune runs through the ink bottle1 and if we want to attain a certain end in love1 friendship or business1 we must trace out the route correctly with the pen in our hand4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,write ,a ,,love ,,letter4 #a4 ,,love4--,there is no greater or more profound reality than love4 ,why that reality should be obscured by mere sentimentalism1 with all its train of absurdities is incomprehensible4 ,there is no nobler possession than the love of another4 ,there is no higher gift from one human being to another than love4 ,the gift and the possession are true sanctifiers of life1 and should be worn as precious jewels1 without affectation and without bashfulness4 ,for this reason there is nothing to be ashamed of in a love letter1 provided it be sincere4 #b4 ,,forfeits4--,no man need consider that he forfeits dignity if he speaks with his whole heart3 no woman need fear she forfeits her womanly attributes if she responds as her heart bids her respond4 ,perfect love casteth out fear is as true now as when the maxim was first given to the world4 #c4 ,,telling ,,their ,,love4--,the generality of the sex is1 love to be loved2 how are they to know the fact that they are loved unless they are told8 ,to write a sensible love letter requires more talent than to solve1 with your pen1 a profound problem in philosophy4 ,lovers must not then expect much from each other's epistles4 #d4 ,,confidential4--,ladies and gentlemen who correspond with each other should never be guilty of exposing any of the contents of any letters written expressing confidence1 attachment or love4 ,the man who confides in a lady and honors her with his confidence should be treated with perfect security and respect1 and those who delight in showing their confidential letters to others are unworthy1 heartless and unsafe companions4 #e4 ,,return ,,of ,,letters4--,if letters were written under circumstances which no longer exist and all confidential relations are at an end1 then all letters should be promptly returned4 #f4 ,,how ,,to ,,begin ,a ,,love ,,letter4--,how to begin a love letter has been no doubt the problem of lovers and suitors of all ages and nations4 ,fancy the youth of ,young ,america with lifted pen1 thinking how he shall address his beloved4 ,much depends upon this letter4 ,what shall he say1 and how shall he say it1 is the great question4 ,perseverance1 however1 will solve the problem and determine results4 #g4 ,,forms ,,of ,,beginning ,a ,,love ,,letter4--,never say1 ,my ,dearest ,nellie1 ,my ,adored ,nellie1 or ,my ,darling ,nellie1 until ,nellie has first called you ,my ,dear1 or has given you to understand that such familiar terms are permissible4 ,as a rule a gentleman will never err if he says ,dear ,miss ,nellie1 and if the letters are cordially reciprocated the ,miss may in time be omitted1 or other familiar terms used instead4 ,in addressing a widow ,dear ,madam1 or1 ,my ,dear ,madam1 will be a proper form until sufficient intimacy will justify the use of other terms4 #h4 ,,respect4--,a lady must always be treated with respectful delicacy1 and a gentleman should never use the term ,dear or ,my ,dear under any circumstances unless he knows it is perfectly acceptable or a long and friendly acquaintance justifies it4 #i4 ,,how ,,to ,,finish ,a ,,letter4--,a letter will be suggested by the remarks on how to begin one4 ,yours respectfully1 ,yours truly1 ,yours sincerely1 ,yours affectionately1 ,yours ever affectionately1 ,yours most affectionately1 ,ever yours1 ,ever your own1 or ,yours1 are all appropriate1 each depending upon the beginning of the letter4 ,it is difficult to see any phrase which could be added to them which would carry more meaning than they contain4 ,people can sign themselves adorers and such like1 but they do so at the peril of good taste4 ,it is not good that men or women worship each other--if they succeed in preserving reciprocal love and esteem they will have cause for great contentment4 #aj4 ,,permission4--,no young man should ever write to a young lady any letter1 formal or informal1 unless he has first sought her permission to do so4 #aa4 ,,special ,,forms4--,we give various forms or models of love letters to be studied1 not copied4 ,we have given no replies to the forms given1 as every letter written will naturally suggest an answer4 ,a careful study will be a great help to many who have not enjoyed the advantages of a literary education4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,forms ,,of ,,social ,,letters4 #a4--;,from a ,young ,lady to a ,clergyman ,asking a ,recommendation4 ,nantwich1 ,may #ahth1 #aiae ,reverend and ,dear ,sir3 ,having seen an advertisment for a school mistress in the ,daily ,times1 ,i have been recommended to offer myself as a candidate4 ,will you kindly favor me with a testimonial as to my character1 ability and conduct while at ,boston ,normal ,school8 ,should you consider that ,i am fitted for the position1 you would confer a great favor on me if you would interest yourself in my behalf4 ,i remain1 ,reverend ,sir1 ,your most obedient and humble servant1 ,,laura ,b4 ,,nichols4 #b4--;,applying for a ,position as a ,teacher of ,music4 ,scotland1 ,conn41 ,january #bast1 #aiae ,madam1 ,seeing your advertisement in ,the ,clarion of to-day1 ,i write to offer my services as a teacher of music in your family4 ,i am a graduate of the ,peabody ,institute1 of ,baltimore1 where ,i was thoroughly instructed in instrumental and vocal music4 ,i refer by permission to ,mrs4 ,a4,j4 ,davis1 #aibb ,walnut ,street2 ,mrs4 ,franklin ,hill1 #bjba ,spring ,garden ,street1 and ,mrs4 ,william ,murray1 #ahai ,spruce ,street1 in whose families ,i have given lessons4 ,hoping that you may see fit to employ me1 ,i am1 ,very respectfully yours1 ,,nellie ,,reynolds4 #c4--;,applying for a ,situation as a ,cook4 ,charlton ,place1 ,september #hth1 #ahid4 ,madam3 ,having seen your advertisement for a cook in to-day's ,times1 ,i beg to offer myself for your place4 ,i am a thorough cook4 ,i can make clear soups1 entrees1 jellies1 and all kinds of made dishes4 ,i can bake1 and am also used to a dairy4 ,my wages are #d per week1 and ,i can give good reference from my last place1 in which ,i lived for two years4 ,i am thirty-three years of age4 ,i remain1 ,madam1 ,yours very respectfully1 ,,mary ,,mooney4 #d4--,recommending a ,school ,teacher4 ,ottawa1 ,ill41 ,february #ajth1 #ahid4 ,col4 ,geo4 ,h4 ,haight1 ,president ,board of ,trustees1 etc4 ,dear ,sir3 ,i take pleasure in recommending to your favorable consideration the application of ,miss ,hannah ,alexander for the position of teacher in the public school at ,weymouth4 ,miss ,alexander is a graduate of the ,davidson ,seminary1 and for the past year has taught a school in this place4 ,my children have been among her pupils1 and their progress has been entirely satisfactory to me4 ,miss ,alexander is a strict disciplinarian1 an excellent teacher1 and is thoroughly competent to conduct the school for which she applies4 ,trusting that you may see fit to bestow upon her the appointment she seeks1 ,i am4 ,yours very respectfully1 ,,alice ,,miller4 #e4--;,a ,business ,introduction4 ,j4,w4 ,brown1 ,earlville1 ,ill4 ,chicago1 ,ill41 ,may #ast1 #aiae ,my ,dear ,sir3 ,this will introduce to you ,mr4 ,william ,channing1 of this city1 who visits ,earlville on a matter of business1 which he will explain to you in person4 ,you can rely upon his statements1 as he is a gentleman of high character1 and should you be able to render him any assistance1 it would be greatly appreciated by ,yours truly1 ,,haight ,,larabee4 #f4--;,introducing ,one ,lady to ,another4 ,dundee1 ,tenn41 ,may #eth1 #ahid4 ,dear ,mary3 ,allow me to introduce to you my ever dear friend1 ,miss ,nellie ,reynolds1 the bearer of this letter4 ,you have heard me speak of her so often that you will know at once who she is4 ,as ,i am sure you will be mutually pleased with each other1 ,i have asked her to inform you of her presence in your city4 ,any attention you may show her will be highly appreciated by ,yours affectionately1 ,,lizzie ,,eicher4 #g4--,to a ,lady1 ,apologizing for a ,broken ,engagement4 ,albany1 ,n4,y41 ,may #ajth1 #ahid4 ,my ,dear ,miss ,lee3 ,permit me to explain my failure to keep my appointment with you this evening4 ,i was on my way to your house1 with the assurance of a pleasant evening1 when unfortunately ,i was very unexpectedly called from home on very important business4 ,i regret my disappointment1 but hope that the future may afford us many pleasant meetings4 ,sincerely your friend1 ,,irving ,,goodrich4 #h4--;,form of an ,excuse for a ,pupil4 ,thursday ,morning1 ,april #dth ,mr4 ,bunnel3 ,you will please excuse ,william for non-attendance at school yesterday1 as ,i was compelled to keep him at home to attend to a matter of business4 ,,mrs4 ,a4 ,,smith4 #i4--;,form of ,letter ,accompanying a ,present4 ,louisville1 ,july #f1 #ahie ,my ,dearest ,nelly3 ,many happy returns of the day4 ,so fearful was ,i that it would escape your memory1 that ,i thought ,i would send you this little trinket by way of reminder1 ,i beg you to accept it and wear it for the sake of the giver4 ,with love and best wishes4 ,believe me ever1 your sincere friend1 ,,caroline ,,collins4 #aj4--,returning ,thanks for the ,present4 ,louisville1 ,july #f1 #ahid4 ,dear ,mrs4 ,collins3 ,i am very much obliged to you for the handsome bracelet you have sent me4 ,how kind and thoughtful it was of you to remember me on my birthday4 ,i am sure ,i have every cause to bless the day1 and did ,i forget it1 ,i have many kind friends to remind me of it4 ,again thanking you for your present1 which is far too beautiful for me1 and also for your kind wishes4 ,believe me1 your most grateful1 ,,bertha ,,smith4 #aa4--;,congratulating a ,friend ,upon ,his ,marriage4 ,menton1 ,n4,y41 ,may #bdth1 #ahid4 ,my ,dear ,everett3 ,i have1 to-day received the invitation to your wedding1 and as ,i cannot be present at that happy event to offer my congratulations in person1 ,i write4 ,i am heartily glad you are going to be married1 and congratulate you upon the wisdom of your choice4 ,you have won a noble as well as a beautiful woman1 and one whose love will make you a happy man to your life's end4 ,may ,god grant that trouble may not come near you but should it be your lot1 you will have a wife to whom you can look with confidence for comfort1 and whose good sense and devotion to you will be your sure and unfailing support4 ,that you may both be very happy1 and that your happiness may increase with your years1 is the prayer of ,your ,friend1 ,,frank ,,howard4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,letter ,,writing4 ,any extravagant flattery should be avoided1 both as tending to disgust those to whom it is addressed1 as well as to degrade the writers1 and to create suspicion as to their sincerity4 ,the sentiments should spring from the tenderness of the heart1 and1 when faithfully and delicately expressed1 will never be read without exciting sympathy or emotion in all hearts not absolutely deadened by insensibility4 ,,declaration ,,of ,,affection4 ,dear ,nellie3 ,will you allow me1 in a few plain and simple words1 respectfully to express the sincere esteem and affection ,i entertain for you1 and to ask whether ,i may venture to hope that these sentiments are returned8 ,i love you truly and earnestly and knowing you admire frankness and candor in all things1 ,i cannot think that you will take offense at this letter4 ,perhaps it is self-flattery to suppose ,i have any place in your regard4 ,should this be so1 the error will carry with it its own punishment1 for my happy dream will be over4 ,i will try to think otherwise1 however1 and shall await your answer with hope4 ,trusting soon to hear from you1 ,i remain1 dear ,nellie4 ,sincerely ,yours1 ,j4,l4 ,master ,to ,miss ,nellie ,reynolds1 ,hartford1 ,conn4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,forms ,,of ,,love ,,letters4 #ab4--;,an ,ardent ,declaration4 ,naperville1 ,ill41 ,june #ajth1 #aiae ,my ,dearest ,laura3 ,i can no longer restrain myself from writing to you1 dearest and best of girls1 what ,i have often been on the point of saying to you4 ,i love you so much that ,i cannot find words in which to express my feelings4 ,i have loved you from the very first day we met1 and always shall4 ,do you blame me because ,i write so freely8 ,i should be unworthy of you if ,i did not tell you the whole truth4 ,oh1 ,laura1 can you love me in return8 ,i am sure ,i shall not be able to bear it if your answer is unfavorable4 ,i will study your every wish if you will give me the right to do so4 ,may ,i hope8 ,send just one kind word to your sincere friend4 ,,harry ,,smith4 #ac4--;,a ,lover's ,good-bye ,before ,starting on a ,journey4 ,pearl ,st41 ,new ,york1 ,march #aath1 #ahid4 ,my ,dearest ,nellie3 ,i am off to-morrow1 and yet not altogether1 for ,i leave my heart behind in your gentle keeping4 ,you need not place a guard over it1 however1 for it is as impossible that it should stay away1 as for a bit of steel to rush from a magnet4 ,the simile is eminently correct for you1 my dear girl1 are a magnet1 and my heart is as true to you as steel4 ,i shall make my absence as brief as possible4 ,not a day1 not an hour1 not a minute1 shall ,i waste either in going or returning4 ,oh1 this business2 but ,i wont complain1 for we must have something for our hive besides honey--something that rhymes with it--and that we must have it1 ,i must bestir myself4 ,you will find me a faithful correspondent4 ,like the spider1 ,i shall drop a line by 7almost7 every post2 and mind1 you must give me letter for letter4 ,i can't give you credit4 ,your returns must be prompt and punctual4 ,passionately yours1 ,,lewis ,,shuman4 ,to ,miss ,nellie ,carter1 ,no4 -- ,fifth ,avenue1 ,new ,york4 #ad4--;,from an ,absent ,lover4 ,chicago1 ,ill41 ,sept4 #aj1 #aiae ,my ,dearest ,kate3 ,this sheet of paper1 though ,i should cover it with loving words1 could never tell you truly how ,i long to see you again4 ,time does not run on with me now at the same pace as with other people2 the hours seem days1 the days weeks1 while ,i am absent from you1 and ,i have no faith in the accuracy of clocks and almanacs4 ,ah6 if there were truth in clairvoyance1 wouldn't ,i be with you at this moment6 ,i wonder if you are as impatient to see me as ,i am to fly to you8 ,sometimes it seems as if ,i must leave business and every thing else to the ,fates1 and take the first train to ,dawson4 ,however1 the hours do move1 though they don't appear to1 and in a few more weeks we shall meet again4 ,let me hear from you as frequently as possible in the meantime4 ,tell me of your health1 your amusements and your affections4 ,remember that every word you write will be a comfort to me4 ,unchangeably yours1 ,,william ,,miller4 ,to ,miss ,kate ,martin1 ,dawson1 ,n4,d4 #ae4--;,a ,declaration of ,love at ,first ,sight4 ,waterford1 ,maine1 ,may #hth1 #aiae ,dear ,miss ,searles3 ,although ,i have been in your society but once the impression you have made upon me is so deep and powerful that ,i cannot forbear writing to you1 in defiance of all rules of etiquette4 ,affection is sometimes of slow growth but sometimes it springs up in a moment4 ,in half an hour after ,i was introduced to you my heart was no longer my own1 ,i have not the assurance to suppose that ,i have been fortunate enough to create any interest in yours2 but will you allow me to cultivate your acquaintance in the hope or being able to win your regard in the course of time8 ,petitioning for a few lines in reply4 ,i remain1 dear ,miss ,searles1 ,yours devotedly1 ,e4,c4 ,,nicks4 ,miss ,e4 ,searles1 ,waterford1 ,maine4 #af4--,proposing ,marriage4 ,wednesday1 ,october #bjth1 #ahid ,dearest ,etta3 ,the delightful hours ,i have passed in your society have left an impression on my mind that is altogether indelible1 and cannot be effaced even by time itself4 ,the frequent opportunities ,i have possessed1 of observing the thousand acts of amiability and kindness which mark the daily tenor of your life1 have ripened my feelings of affectionate regard into a passion at once ardent and sincere until ,i have at length associated my hopes of future happiness with the idea of you as a life partner1 in them4 ,believe me1 dearest ,etta1 this is no puerile fancy1 but the matured results of a long and warmly cherished admiration of your many charms of person and mind4 ,it is love--pure devoted love1 and ,i feel confident that your knowledge of my character will lead you to ascribe my motives to their true source4 ,may ,i then implore you to consult your own heart1 and should this avowal of my fervent and honorable passion for you be crowned with your acceptance and approval1 to grant me permission to refer the matter to your parents4 ,anxiously awaiting your answer1 ,i am1 dearest ,etta1 ,your sincere and faithful lover1 ,,geo4 ,,courtright4 ,to ,miss ,etta ,jay1 ,malden1 ,ill4 #ag4--;,from a ,gentleman to a ,widow4 ,philadelphia1 ,may #ajth1 #aiae ,my ,dear ,mrs4 ,freeman3 ,i am sure you are too clear-sighted not to have observed the profound impression which your amiable qualities1 intelligence and personal attractions have made upon my heart1 and as you nave not repelled my attentions nor manifested displeasure when ,i ventured to hint at the deep interest ,i felt in your welfare and happiness1 ,i cannot help hoping that you will receive an explicit expression of my attachments1 kindly and favorably4 ,i wish it were in my power to clothe the feelings ,i entertain for you in such words as should make my pleadings irresistible2 but1 after all1 what could ,i say1 more than you are very dear to me1 and that the most earnest desire of my soul is to have the privilege of calling you my wife8 ,do you1 can you love me8 ,you will not1 ,i am certain1 keep me in suspense1 for you are too good and kind to trifle for a moment with sincerity like mine4 ,awaiting your answer1 ,i remain with respectful affection1 ,ever yours1 ,,henry ,,murray4 ,mrs4 ,julia ,freeman1 ,philadelphia4 #ah4--;,from a ,lady to an ,inconstant ,lover4 ,dear ,harry3 ,it is with great reluctance that ,i enter upon a subject which has given me great pain1 and upon which silence has become impossible if ,i would preserve my self-respects4 ,you cannot but be aware that ,i have just reason for saying that you have much displeased me4 ,you have apparently forgotten what is due to me1 circumstanced as we are1 thus far at least4 ,you cannot suppose that ,i can tamely see you disregard my feelings1 by conduct toward other ladies from which ,i should naturally have the right to expect you to abstain4 ,i am not so vulgar a person as to be jealous4 ,when there is cause to infer changed feelings1 or unfaithfulness to promises of constancy1 jealousy is not the remedy4 ,what the remedy is ,i need not say--we both of us have it in our hands4 ,i am sure you will agree with me that we must come to some understanding by which the future shall be governed4 ,neither you nor ,i can bear a divided allegiance4 ,believe me that ,i write more in sorrow than in anger4 ,you have made me very unhappy1 and perhaps thoughtlessly4 ,but it will take much to reassure me of your unaltered regard4 ,yours truly1 ,,emma4 ,illustration3 ,,healthful ,,outdoor ,,exercise4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,human ,,face1 ,,like ,a ,,flower1 ,,speaks ,,for ,,itself4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,hints ,,and ,,helps ,,on ,,good ,,behavior ,,at ,,all ,,times ,,and ,,at ,,all ,,places4 #a4 ,it takes acquaintance to found a noble esteem1 but politeness prepares the way4 ,indeed1 as ontaigne ,transcriber's note3 ,montaigne8 says1 ,courtesy begets esteem at sight4 ,urbanity is half of affability1 and affability is a charm worth possessing4 #b4 ,a pleasing demeanor is often the scales by which the pagan weighs the ,christian4 ,it is not virtue1 but virtue inspires it4 ,there are circumstances in which it takes a great and strong soul to pass under the little yoke of courtesy1 but it is a passport to a greater soul standard4 #c4 ,matthew ,arnold says1 ,conduct is three-fourths of character1 and ,christian benignity draws the line for conduct4 ,a high sense of rectitude1 a lowly soul1 with a pure and kind heart are elements of nobility which will work out in the life of a human being at home--everywhere4 ,private refinement makes public gentility4 #d4 ,if you would conciliate the favor of men1 rule your resentment4 ,remember that if you permit revenge or malice to occupy your soul1 you are ruined4 #e4 ,cultivate a happy temper2 banish the blues2 a cheerful saguine spirit begets cheer and hope4 #f4 ,be trustworthy and be trustful4 #g4 ,do not place a light estimate upon the arts of good reading and good expression2 they will yield perpetual interest4 #h4 ,study to keep versed in world events as well as in local occurrences1 but abhor gossip1 and above all scandal4 #i4 ,banish a self-conscience spirit--the source of much awkwardness--with a constant aim to make others happy4 ,remember that it is incumbent upon gentlemen and ladies alike to be neat in habits4 #aj4 ,the following is said to be a correct posture for walking3 ,head erect--not too rigid--chin in1 shoulders back4 ,permit no unnecessary motion about the thighs4 ,do not lean over to one side in walking1 standing or sitting2 the practice is not only ungraceful1 but it is deforming and therefore unhealthful4 #aa4 ,beware of affectation and of ,beau ,brummel airs4 #ab4 ,if the hands are allowed to swing in walking1 the are should be limited1 and the lady will manage them much more gracefully1 if they almost touch the clothing4 #ac4 ,a lady should not stand with her hands behind her4 ,we could almost say1 forget the hands except to keep them clean1 including the nails1 cordial and helpful4 ,one hand may rest easily in the other4 ,study repose of attitude here as well as in the rest of the body4 #ad4 ,gestures are for emphasis in public speaking2 do not point elsewhere1 as a rule4 #ae4 ,greet your acquaintances as you meet them with a slight bow and smile1 as you speak4 #af4 ,look the person to whom you speak in the eye4 ,never under any circumstances wink at another or communicate by furtive looks4 #ag4 ,should you chance to be the rejected suitor of a lady1 bear in mind your own self-respect1 as well as the inexorable laws of society1 and bow politely when you meet her4 ,reflect that you do not stand before all woman-kind as you do at her bar4 ,do not resent the bitterness of flirtation4 ,no lady or gentleman will flirt4 ,remember ever that painful prediscovery is better than later disappointment4 ,let such experience spur you to higher exertion4 #ah4 ,discretion should be exercised in introducing persons4 ,of two gentlemen who are introduced1 if one is superior in rank or age1 he is the one to whom the introduction should be made4 ,of two social equals1 if one be a stranger in the place his name should be mentioned first4 #ai4 ,in general the simpler the introduction the better4 #bj4 ,before introducing a gentleman to a lady1 remember that she is entitled to hold you responsible for the acquaintance4 ,the lady is the one to whom the gentleman is presented1 which may be done thus3 ,miss ,a1 permit me to introduce to you my friend1 ,mr4 ,b42 or1 ,miss ,a41 allow me to introduce ,mr4 ,b4 ,if mutual and near friends of yours1 say simply1 ,miss ,a4 ,mr4 ,b4 #ba4 ,receive the introduction with a slight bow and the acknowledgment1 ,miss ,a41 ,i am happy to make your acquaintance2 or1 ,mr4 ,b41 ,i am pleased to meet you4 ,there is no reason why such stereotyped expressions should always be used1 but something similar is expected4 ,do not extend the hand usually4 #bb4 ,a true lady will avoid familiarity in her deportment towards gentlemen4 ,a young lady should not permit her gentlemen friends to address her by her home name1 and the reverse is true4 ,use the title ,miss and ,mr4 respectively4 #bc4 ,ladies should be frank and cordial towards their lady friends1 but never gushing4 #bd4 ,should you meet a friend twice or oftener1 at short intervals1 it is polite to bow slightly each time after the first4 #be4 ,a lady on meeting a gentleman with whom she has slight acquaintance will make a medium bow--neither too decided nor too slight or stiff4 #bf4 ,for a gentleman to take a young lady's arm1 is to intimate that she is feeble1 and young ladies resent the mode4 #bg4 ,if a young lady desires to visit any public place where she expects to meet a gentleman acquaintance1 she should have a chaperon to accompany her1 a person of mature years ,when possible1 and never a giddy girl4 #bh4 ,a lady should not ask a gentleman to walk with her4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,complete ,,etiquette ,,in ,a ,,few ,,practical ,,rules4 #a4 ,if you desire to be respected1 keep clean4 ,the finest attire and decorations will add nothing to the appearance or beauty of an untidy person4 #b4 ,clean clothing1 clean skin1 clean hands1 including the nails1 and clean1 white teeth1 are a requisite passport for good society4 #c4 ,a bad breath should be carefully remedied1 whether it proceeds from the stomach or from decayed teeth4 #d4 ,to pick the nose1 finger about the ears1 or scratch the head or any other part of the person1 in company1 is decidedly vulgar4 #e4 ,when you call at any private residence1 do not neglect to clean your shoes thoroughly4 #f4 ,a gentleman should always remove his hat in the presence of ladies1 except out of doors1 and then he should lift or touch his hat in salutation4 ,on meeting a lady a well-bred gentleman will always lift his hat4 #g4 ,an invitation to a lecture1 concert1 or other entertainment1 may be either verbal or written1 but should always be made at least twenty-four hours before the time4 #h4 ,on entering a hall or church the gentleman should precede the lady in walking up the aisle1 or walk by her side1 if the aisle is broad enough4 #i4 ,a gentleman should always precede a lady upstairs1 and follow her downstairs4 #aj4 ,visitors should always observe the customs of the church with reference to standing1 sitting1 or kneeling during the services4 #aa4 ,on leaving a hall or church at the close of entertainment or services1 the gentleman should precede the lady4 #ab4 ,a gentleman walking with a lady should carry the parcels1 and never allow the lady to be burdened with anything of the kind4 #ac4 ,a gentleman meeting a lady on the street and wishing to speak to her1 should never detain her1 but may turn around and walk in the same direction she is going1 until the conversation is completed4 #ad4 ,if a lady is traveling with a gentleman1 simply as a friend1 she should place the amount of her expenses in his hands1 or insist on paying the bills herself4 #ae4 ,never offer a lady costly gifts unless you are engaged to her1 for it looks as if you were trying to purchase her good-will2 and when you make a present to a lady use no ceremony whatever4 #af4 ,never carry on a private conversation in company4 ,if secrecy is necessary1 withdraw from the company4 #ag4 ,never sit with your back to another without asking to be excused4 #ah4 ,it is as unbecoming for a gentleman to sit with legs crossed as it is for a lady4 #ai4 ,never thrum with your fingers1 rub your hands1 yawn or sigh aloud in company4 #bj4 ,loud laughter1 loud talking1 or other boisterous manifestations should be checked in the society of others1 especially on the street and in public places4 #ba4 ,when you are asked to sing or play in company1 do so without being urged1 or refuse in a way that shall be final2 and when music is being rendered in company1 show politeness to the musician by giving attention4 ,it is very impolite to keep up a conversation4 ,if you do not enjoy the music keep silent4 #bb4 ,contentions1 contradictions1 etc4 in society should be carefully avoided4 #bc4 ,pulling out your watch in company1 unless asked the time of day1 is a mark of the demi-bred4 ,it looks as if you were tired of the company and the time dragged heavily4 #bd4 ,you should never decline to be introduced to any one or all of the guests present at a party to which you have been invited4 #be4 ,a gentleman who escorts a lady to a party1 or who has a lady placed under his care1 is under particular obligations to attend to her wants and see that she has proper attention4 ,he should introduce her to others1 and endeavor to make the evening pleasant4 ,he should escort her to the supper table and provide for her wants4 #bf4 ,to take small children or dogs with you on a visit of ceremony is altogether vulgar1 though in visiting familiar friends1 children are not objectionable4 ,illustration3 ,children should early be taught the lesson of ,propriety and ,good ,manners4 ,illustration3 ,,an ,,egyptian ,,bride',s ,,wedding ,,outfit4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,etiquette ,,of ,,calls4 ,in the matter of making calls it is the correct thing3 ,for the caller who arrived first to leave first4 ,to return a first call within a week and in person4 ,to call promptly and in person after a first invitation4 ,for the mother or chaperon to invite a gentleman to call4 ,to call within a week after any entertainment to which one has been invited4 ,you should call upon an acquaintance who has recently returned from a prolonged absence4 ,it as proper to make the first call upon people in a higher social position1 if one is asked to do so4 ,it is proper to call1 after an engagement has been announced1 or a marriage has taken place1 in the family4 ,for the older residents in the city or street to call upon the newcomers to their neighborhood is a long recognized custom4 ,it is proper1 after a removal from one part of the city to another1 to send out cards with one's new address upon them4 ,to ascertain what are the prescribed hours for calling in the place where one is living1 or making a visit1 and to adhere to those hours is a duty that must not be overlooked4 ,a gentleman should ask for the lady of the house as well as the young ladies1 and leave cards for her as well as for the head of the family4 ,illustration3 ,improve ,your ,speech by ,reading4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,etiquette ,,in ,,your ,,speech4 ,don't say ,miss or ,mister without the person's name4 ,don't say pants for trousers4 ,don't say gents for gentlemen4 ,don't say female for woman4 ,don't say elegant to mean everything that pleases you4 ,don't say genteel for well-bred4 ,don't say ain't for isn't4 ,don't say ,i done it for ,i did it4 ,don't say he is older than me2 say older than ,i4 ,don't say she does not see any2 say she does not see at all4 ,don't say not as ,i know2 say not that ,i know4 ,don't say he calculates to get off2 say he expects to get off4 ,don't say he don't2 say he doesn't4 ,don't say she is some better2 say she is somewhat better4 ,don't say where are you stopping8 say where are you staying8 ,don't say you was2 say you were4 ,don't say ,i say1 says ,i1 but simply say ,i said4 ,don't sign your letters yours etc41 but yours truly4 ,don't say lay for lie2 lay expresses action2 lie expresses rest4 ,don't say them bonnets2 say those bonnets4 ,don't say party for person4 ,don't say it looks beautifully1 but say it looks beautiful4 ,don't say feller1 winder1 to-morrer1 for fellow1 window1 to-morrow4 ,don't use slangy words2 they are vulgar4 ,don't use profane words2 they are sinful and foolish4 ,don't say it was her1 when you mean it was she4 ,don't say not at once for at once4 ,don't say he gave me a recommend1 but say he gave me a recommendation4 ,don't say the two first for the first two4 ,don't say he learnt me ,french2 say he taught me ,french4 ,don't say lit the fire2 say lighted the fire4 ,don't say the man which you saw2 say the man whom you saw4 ,don't say who done it2 say who did it ,don't say if ,i was rich ,i would buy a carriage2 say if ,i were rich4 ,don't say if ,i am not mistaken you are in the wrong2 say if ,i mistake not4 ,don't say who may you be2 say who are you8 ,don't say go lay down2 say go lie down4 ,don't say he is taller than me2 say taller than ,i4 ,don't say ,i shall call upon him2 say ,i shall call on him4 ,don't say ,i bought a new pair of shoes2 say ,i bought a pair of new shoes4 ,don't say ,i had rather not2 say ,i would rather not4 ,don't say two spoonsful2 say two spoonfuls4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,etiquette ,,of ,,dress ,,and ,,habits4 ,don't let one day pass without a thorough cleansing of your person4 ,don't sit down to your evening meal before a complete toilet if you have company4 ,don't cleanse your nails1 your nose or your ears in public4 ,don't use hair dye1 hair oil or pomades4 ,don't wear evening dress in daytime4 ,don't wear jewelry of a gaudy character2 genuine jewelry modestly worn is not out of place4 ,don't overdress yourself or walk affectedly4 ,don't wear slippers or dressing-gown or smoking-jacket out of your own house4 ,don't sink your hands in your trousers' pockets4 ,don't whistle in public places1 nor inside of houses either4 ,don't use your fingers or fists to beat a tattoo upon floor desk or window panes4 ,don't examine other people's papers or letters scattered on their desk4 ,don't bring a smell of spirits or tobacco into the presence of ladies4 ,never use either in the presence of ladies4 ,don't drink spirits2 millions have tried it to their sorrow4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,etiquette ,,on ,,the ,,street4 #a4 ,your conduct on the street should always be modest and dignified4 ,ladies should carefully avoid all loud and boisterous conversation or laughter and all undue liveliness in public4 #b4 ,when walking on the street do not permit yourself to be absent-minded1 as to fail to recognize a friend2 do not go along reading a book or newspaper4 #c4 ,in walking with a lady on the street give her the inner side of the walk1 unless the outside if the safer part2 in which case she is entitled to it4 #d4 ,your arm should not be given to any lady except your wife or a near relative1 or a very old lady1 during the day1 unless her comfort or safety requires it4 ,at night the arm should always be offered2 also in ascending the steps of a public building4 #e4 ,in crossing the street a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle with one hand4 ,to raise the dress with both hands is vulgar1 except in places where the mud is very deep4 #f4 ,a gentleman meeting a lady acquaintance on the street should not presume to join her in her walk without first asking her permission4 #g4 ,if you have anything to say to a lady whom you may happen to meet in the street1 however intimate you may be1 do not stop her1 but turn round and walk in company with her2 you can take leave at the end of the street4 #h4 ,a lady should not venture out upon the street alone after dark4 ,by so doing she compromises her dignity1 and exposes herself to indignity at the hands of the rougher class4 #i4 ,never offer to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on dark or soiled gloves1 as you may soil hers4 #aj4 ,a lady does not form acquaintances upon the street1 or seek to attract the attention of the other sex or of persons of her own sex4 ,her conduct is always modest and unassuming4 ,neither does a lady demand services or favors from a gentleman4 ,she accepts them graciously1 always expressing her thanks4 ,a gentleman will not stand on the street corners1 or in hotel doorways1 or store windows and gaze impertinently at ladies as they pass by4 ,this is the exclusive business of loafers4 #aa4 ,in walking with a lady who has your arm1 should you have to cross the street1 do not disengage your arm and go around upon the outside1 unless the lady's comfort renders it necessary4 ,in walking with a lady1 where it is necessary for you to proceed singly1 always go before her4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,etiquette ,,between ,,sexes4 #a4 ,a lady should be a lady1 and a gentleman a gentleman under any and all circumstances4 #b4 ,,female ,,indifference ,,to ,,man4--,there is nothing that affects the nature and pleasure of man so much as a proper and friendly recognition from a lady1 and as women are more or less dependent upon man's good-will1 either for gain or pleasure1 it surely stands to their interest to be reasonably pleasant and courteous in his presence or society4 ,indifference is always a poor investment1 whether in society or business4 #c4 ,,gallantry ,,and ,,ladyism should be a prominent feature in the education of young people4 ,politeness to ladies cultivates the intellect and refines the soul and he who can be easy and entertaining in the society of ladies has mastered one of the greatest accomplishments4 ,there is nothing taught in school1 academy or college1 that contributes so much to the happiness of man as a full development of his social and moral qualities4 #d4 ,,ladylike ,,etiquette4--,no woman can afford to treat men rudely4 ,a lady must have a high intellectual and moral ideal and hold herself above reproach4 ,she must remember that the art of pleasing and entertaining gentlemen is infinitely more ornamental than laces1 ribbons or diamonds4 ,dress and glitter may please man1 but it will never benefit him4 #e4 ,,cultivate ,,deficiencies4--,men and women poorly sexed treat each other with more or less indifference1 whereas a hearty sexuality inspires both to a right estimation of the faculties and qualities of each other4 ,those who are deficient should seek society and overcome their deficiencies4 ,while some naturally inherit faculties as entertainers others are compelled to acquire them by cultivation4 ,illustration3 ,,asking ,,an ,,honest ,,question4 #f4 ,,ladies' ,,society4--,he who seeks ladies' society should seek an education and should have a pure heart and a pure mind4 ,read good1 pure and wholesome literature and study human nature1 and you will always be a favorite in the society circle4 #g4 ,,woman ,,haters4--,some men with little refinement and strong sensual feelings virtually insult and thereby disgust and repel every female they meet4 ,they look upon woman with an inherent vulgarity1 and doubt the virtue and integrity of all alike4 ,but it is because they are generally insincere and impure themselves1 and with such a nature culture and refinement are out of the question1 there must be a revolution4 #h4 ,,men ,,haters4--,women who look upon all men as odious1 corrupt or hateful1 are no doubt so themselves1 though they may be clad in silk and sparkle with diamonds and be as pretty as a lily2 but their hypocrisy will out1 and they can never win the heart of a faithful1 conscientious and well balanced man4 ,a good woman has broad ideas and great sympathy4 ,she respects all men until they are proven unworthy4 #i4 ,,fond ,,of ,,children4--,the man who is naturally fond of children will make a good husband and a good father4 ,so it behooves the young man1 to notice children and cultivate the art of pleasing them4 ,it will be a source of interest1 education and permanent benefit to all4 #aj4 ,,excessive ,,luxury4--,although the association with ladies is an expensive luxury1 yet it is not an expensive education4 ,it elevates1 refines1 sanctifies and purifies1 and improves the whole man4 ,a young man who has a pure and genuine respect for ladies1 will not only make a good husband1 but a good citizen as well4 #aa4 ,,masculine ,,attention4--,no woman is entitled to any more attention than her loveliness and ladylike conduct will command4 ,those who are most pleasing will receive the most attention1 and those who desire more should aspire to acquire more by cultivating those graces and virtues which ennoble woman1 but no lady should lower or distort her own true ideal1 or smother and crucify her conscience1 in order to please any living man4 ,a good man will admire a good woman1 and deceptions cannot long be concealed4 ,her show of dry goods or glitter of jewels cannot long cover up her imperfections or deceptions4 #ab4 ,,purity4--,purity of purpose will solve all social problems4 ,let all stand on this exalted sexual platform1 and teach every man just how to treat the female sex1 and every woman how to behave towards the masculine2 and it will incomparably adorn the manners of both1 make both happy in each other1 and mutually develop each other's sexuality and humanity4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,practical ,,rules ,,on ,,table ,,manners4 #a4 ,help ladies with a due appreciation2 do not overload the plate of any person you serve4 ,never pour gravy on a plate without permission4 ,it spoils the meat for some persons4 #b4 ,never put anything by force upon any one's plate4 ,it is extremely ill-bred1 though extremely common1 to press one to eat of anything4 #c4 ,if at dinner you are requested to help any one to sauce or gravy1 do not pour it over the meat or vegetables1 but on one side of them4 ,never load down a person's plate with anything4 #d4 ,as soon as you are helped1 begin to eat1 or at least begin to occupy yourself with what you have before you4 ,do not wait till your neighbors are served--a custom that was long ago abandoned4 #e4 ,should you1 however1 find yourself at a table where they have the old-fashioned steel forks1 eat with your knife1 as the others do1 and do not let it be seen that you have any objection to doing so4 #f4 ,bread should be broken4 ,to butter a large piece of bread and then bite it1 as children do1 is something the knowing never do4 #g4 ,in eating game or poultry do not touch the bones with your fingers4 ,to take a bone in the fingers for the purpose of picking it1 is looked upon as being very inelegant4 #h4 ,never use your own knife or fork to help another4 ,use rather the knife or fork of the person you help4 #i4 ,never send your knife or fork1 or either of them1 on your plate when you send for second supply4 #aj4 ,never turn your elbows out when you use your knife and fork4 ,keep them close to your sides4 #aa4 ,whenever you use your fingers to convey anything to your mouth or to remove anything from the mouth1 let it be the fingers of the left hand4 #ab4 ,tea1 coffee1 chocolate and the like are drank from the cup and never from the saucer4 #ac4 ,in masticating your food1 keep your mouth shut2 otherwise you will make a noise that will be very offensive to those around you4 #ad4 ,don't attempt to talk with a full mouth4 ,one thing at a time is as much as any man can do well4 #ae4 ,should you find a worm or insect in your food1 say nothing about it4 #af4 ,if a dish is distasteful to you1 decline it1 and without comment4 #ag4 ,never put bones or bits of fruit on the table cloth4 ,put them on the side of your plate4 #ah4 ,do not hesitate to take the last piece on the dish1 simply because it is the last4 ,to do so is to directly express the fear that you would exhaust the supply4 #ai4 ,if you would be what you would like to be--abroad1 take care that you are what you would like to be--at home4 #bj4 ,avoid picking your teeth at the table if possible2 but if you must1 do it1 it you can1 where you are not observed4 #ba4 ,if an accident of any kind soever should occur during dinner1 the cause being who or what it may1 you should not seem to note it4 #bb4 ,should you be so unfortunate as to overturn or to break anything1 you should make no apology4 ,you might let your regret appear in your face1 but it would not be proper to put it in words4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,parlor ,,recitation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,social ,,duties4 ,man ,in ,society is like a flower1 ,blown in its native bed4 ',tis there alone ,his faculties expanded in full bloom ,shine out1 there only reach their proper use4 --,,cowper4 ,the primal duties shine aloft like stars2 ,the charities that soothe1 and heal1 and bless1 ,are scatter'd at the feet of man like flowers4 --,,wordsworth4 #a4 ,,membership ,,in ,,society4--,many fail to get hold of the idea that they are members of society4 ,they seem to suppose that the social machinery of the world is self-operating4 ,they cast their first ballot with an emotion of pride perhaps1 but are sure to pay their first tax with a groan4 ,they see political organizations in active existence2 the parish1 and the church1 and other important bodies that embrace in some form of society all men1 are successfully operated2 and yet these young men have no part or lot in the matter4 ,they do not think of giving a day's time to society4 #b4 ,,begin ,,early4--,one of the first things a young man should do is to see that he is acting his part in society4 ,the earlier this is begun the better4 ,i think that the opponents of secret societies in colleges have failed to estimate the benefit which it must be to every member to be obliged to contribute to the support of his particular organization1 and to assume personal care and responsibility as a member4 ,if these societies have a tendency to teach the lessons of which ,i speak1 they are a blessed thing4 #c4 ,,do ,,your ,,part4--,do your part1 and be a man among men4 ,assume your portion of social responsibility1 and see that you discharge it well4 ,if you do not do this1 then you are mean1 and society has the right to despise you just as much as it chooses to do so4 ,you are1 to use a word more emphatic than agreeable1 a sneak1 and have not a claim upon your neighbors for a single polite word4 #d4 ,a ,,whining ,,complainer4--,society1 as it is called1 is far more apt to pay its dues to the individual than the individual to society4 ,have you1 young man1 who are at home whining over the fact that you cannot get into society1 done anything to give you a claim to social recognition8 ,are you able to make any return for social recognition and social privileges8 ,do you know anything8 ,what kind of coin do you propose to pay in the discharge of the obligation which comes upon you with social recognition8 ,in other words1 as a return for what you wish to have society do for you1 what can you do for society8 ,this is a very important question--more important to you than to society4 ,the question is1 whether you will be a member of society by right1 or by courtesy4 ,if you have so mean a spirit as to be content to be a beneficiary of society--to receive favors and to confer none--you have no business in the society to which you aspire4 ,you are an exacting1 conceited fellow4 #e4 ,,what ,,are ,,you ,,good ,,for8--,are you a good beau1 and are you willing to make yourself useful in waiting on the ladies on all occasions8 ,have you a good set of teeth1 which you are willing to show whenever the wit of the company gets off a good thing8 ,are you a true1 straightforward1 manly fellow1 with whose healthful and uncorrupted nature it is good for society to come in contact8 ,in short1 do you possess anything of any social value8 ,if you do1 and are willing to impart it1 society will yield itself to your touch4 ,if you have nothing1 then society1 as such1 owes you nothing4 ,christian philanthropy may put its arm around you1 as a lonely young man1 about to spoil for want of something1 but it is very sad and humiliating for a young man to be brought to that4 ,there are people who devote themselves to nursing young men1 and doing them good4 ,if they invite you to tea1 go by all means1 and try your hand4 ,if in the course of the evening1 you can prove to them that your society is desirable1 you have won a point4 ,don't be patronized4 #f4 ,,the ,,morbid ,,condition4--,young men1 you are apt to get into a morbid state of mind1 which declines them to social intercourse4 ,they become devoted to business with such exclusiveness1 that all social intercourse is irksome4 ,they go out to tea as if they were going to jail1 and drag themselves to a party as to an execution4 ,this disposition is thoroughly morbid1 and to be overcome by going where you are invited1 always1 and with a sacrifice of feeling4 #g4 ,,the ,,common ,,blunder4--,don't shrink from contact with anything but bad morals4 ,men who affect your unhealthy minds with antipathy1 will prove themselves very frequently to be your best friends and most delightful companions4 ,because a man seems uncongenial to you1 who are squeamish and foolish1 you have no right to shun him4 ,we become charitable by knowing men4 ,we learn to love those whom we have despised by rubbing against them4 ,do you not remember some instance of meeting a man or woman whom you had never previously known or cared to know--an individual1 perhaps1 against whom you have entertained the strongest prejudices--but to whom you became bound by a lifelong friendship through the influence of a three days' intercourse8 ,yet1 if you had not thus met1 you would have carried through life the idea that it would be impossible for you to give your fellowship to such an individual4 #h4 ,,the ,,foolishness ,,of ,,man4--,god has introduced into human character infinite variety1 and for you to say that you do not love and will not associate with a man because he is unlike you1 is not only foolish but wrong4 ,you are to remember that in the precise manner and decree in which a man differs from you1 do you differ from him2 and that from his standpoint you are naturally as repulsive to him1 as he1 from your standpoint1 is to you4 ,so1 leave all this talk of congeniality to silly girls and transcendental dreamers4 #i4 ,,do ,,business ,,in ,,your ,,way ,,and ,,be ,,honest4--,do your business in your own way1 and concede to every man the privilege which you claim for yourself4 ,the more you mix with men1 the less you will be disposed to quarrel1 and the more charitable and liberal will you become4 ,the fact that you do not understand a man1 is quite as likely to be your fault as his4 ,there are a good many chances in favor of the conclusion that1 if you fail to like an individual whose acquaintance you make it is through your own ignorance and illiberality4 ,so ,i say1 meet every man honestly2 seek to know him2 and you will find that in those points in which he differs from you rests his power to instruct you1 enlarge you1 and do you good4 ,keep your heart open for everybody1 and be sure that you shall have your reward4 ,you shall find a jewel under the most uncouth exterior2 and associated with homeliest manners and oddest ways and ugliest faces1 you will find rare virtues1 fragrant little humanities1 and inspiring heroisms4 #aj4 ,,without ,,society1 ,,without ,,influence4--,again3 you can have no influence unless you are social4 ,an unsocial man is as devoid of influence as an ice-peak is of verdure4 ,it is through social contact and absolute social value alone that you can accomplish any great social good4 ,it is through the invisible lines which you are able to attach to the minds with which you are brought into association alone that you can tow society1 with its deeply freighted interests1 to the great haven of your hope4 #aa4 ,,the ,,revenge ,,of ,,society4--,the revenge which society takes upon the man who isolates himself1 is as terrible as it is inevitable4 ,the pride which sits alone will have the privilege of sitting alone in its sublime disgust till it drops into the grave4 ,the world sweeps by the man1 carelessly1 remorselessly1 contemptuously4 ,he has no hold upon society1 because he is no part of it4 #ab4 ,,the ,,conclusion ,,of ,,the ,,whole ,,matter4--,you cannot move men until you are one of them4 ,they will not follow you until they have heard your voice1 shaken your hand1 and fully learned your principles and your sympathies4 ,it makes no difference how much you know1 or how much you are capable of doing4 ,you may pile accomplishment upon acquisition mountain high2 but if you fail to be a social man1 demonstrating to society that your lot is with the rest1 a little child with a song in its mouth1 and a kiss for all and a pair of innocent hands to lay upon the knees1 shall lead more hearts and change the direction of more lives than you4 ,illustration3 ,,gathering ,,oranges ,,in ,,the ,,sunny ,,south4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,politeness4 #a4 ,,beautiful ,,behavior4--,politeness has been described as the art of showing1 by external signs1 the internal regard we have for others4 ,but one may be perfectly polite to another without necessarily paying a special regard for him4 ,good manners are neither more nor less than beautiful behavior4 ,it has been well said that a beautiful form is better than a beautiful face1 and a beautiful behavior is better than a beautiful form2 it gives a higher pleasure than statues or pictures--it is the finest of the fine arts4 #b4 ,,true ,,politeness4--,the truest politeness comes of sincerity4 ,it must be the outcome of the heart1 or it will make no lasting impression2 for no amount of polish can dispense with truthfulness4 ,the natural character must be allowed to appear1 freed of its angularities and asperities4 ,though politeness1 in its best form1 should resemble water--best when clearest1 most simple1 and without taste--yet genius in a man will always cover many defects of manner1 and much will be excused to the strong and the original4 ,without genuineness and individuality1 human life would lose much of its interest and variety1 as well as its manliness and robustness of character4 #c4 ,,personality ,,of ,,others4--,true politeness especially exhibits itself in regard for the personality of others4 ,a man will respect the individuality of another if he wishes to be respected himself4 ,he will have due regard for his views and opinions1 even though they differ from his own4 ,the well-mannered man pays a compliment to another1 and sometimes even secures his respect by patiently listening to him4 ,he is simply tolerant and forbearant1 and refrains from judging harshly2 and harsh judgments of others will almost invariably provoke harsh judgments of ourselves4 #d4 ,,the ,,impolite4--,the impolite1 impulsive man will1 however1 sometimes rather lose his friend than his joke4 ,he may surely be pronounced a very foolish person who secures another's hatred at the price of a moment's gratification4 ,it was a saying of ,burnel1 the engineer--himself one of the kindest-natured of men--that spite and ill-nature are among the most expensive luxuries in life4 ,dr4 ,johnson once said3 ,sir1 a man has no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down4 #e4 ,,feelings ,,of ,,others4--,want of respect for the feelings of others usually originates in selfishness1 and issues in hardness and repulsiveness of manner4 ,it may not proceed from malignity so much1 as from want of sympathy1 and want of delicacy--a want of that perception of1 and attention to1 those little and apparently trifling things1 by which pleasure is given or pain occasioned to others4 ,indeed1 it may be said that in self-sacrifice in the ordinary intercourse of life1 mainly consists the difference between being well and ill bred4 ,without some degree of self-restraint in society a man may be found almost insufferable4 ,no one has pleasure in holding intercourse with such a person1 and he is a constant source of annoyance to those about him4 #f4 ,,disregard ,,of ,,others4--,men may show their disregard to others in various impolite ways1 as1 for instance1 by neglect of propriety in dress1 by the absence of cleanliness1 or by indulging in repulsive habits4 ,the slovenly1 dirty person1 by rendering himself physically disagreeable1 sets the tastes and feelings of others at defiance1 and is rude and uncivil1 only under another form4 #g4 ,,the ,,best ,,school ,,of ,,politeness4--,the first and best school of politeness1 as of character1 is always the home1 where woman is the teacher4 ,the manners of society at large are but the reflex of the manners of our collective homes1 neither better nor worse4 ,yet1 with all the disadvantages of ungenial homes1 men may practice self-culture of manner as of intellect1 and learn by good examples to cultivate a graceful and agreeable behavior towards others4 ,most men are like so many gems in the rough1 which need polishing by contact with other and better natures1 to bring out their full beauty and lustre4 ,some have but one side polished1 sufficient only to show the delicate graining of the interior2 but to bring out the full qualities of the gem1 needs the discipline of experience1 and contact with the best examples of character in the intercourse of daily life4 #h4 ,,captiousness ,,of ,,manner4--,while captiousness of manner1 and the habit of disputing and contradicting every thing said1 is chilling and repulsive1 the opposite habit of assenting to1 and sympathizing with1 every statement made1 or emotion expressed1 is almost equally disagreeable4 ,it is unmanly1 and is felt to be dishonest4 ,it may seem difficult1 says ,richard ,sharp1 to steer always between bluntness and plain dealing1 between merited praises and lavishing indiscriminate flattery2 but it is very easy--good humor1 kindheartedness1 and perfect simplicity1 being all that are requisite to do what is right in the right way4 ,at the same time many are impolite1 not because they mean to be so1 but because they are awkward1 and perhaps know no better4 #i4 ,,shy ,,people4--,again many persons are thought to be stiff1 reserved1 and proud1 when they are only shy4 ,shyness is characteristic of most people of the ,teutonic race4 ,from all that can be learned of ,shakespeare1 it is to be inferred that he was an exceedingly shy man4 ,the manner in which his plays were sent into the world--for it is not known that he edited or authorized the publication of a single one of them1--and the dates at which they respectively appeared1 are mere matters of conjecture4 #aj4 ,,self-,,forgetfulness4--,true politeness is best evinced by self-forgetfulness1 or self-denial in the interest of others4 ,mr4 ,garfield1 our martyred president1 was a gentleman of royal type4 ,his friend1 ,col4 ,rockwell1 says of him3 ,in1 the midst of his suffering he never forgets others4 ,for instance1 to-day he said to me1 ',rockwell1 there is a poor soldier's widow who came to me before this thing occurred1 and ,i promised her1 she should be provided for4 ,i want you to see that the matter is attended to at once4' ,he is the most docile patient ,i ever saw4 #aa4 ,,its ,,bright ,,side4--,we have thus far spoken of shyness as a defect4 ,but there is another way of looking at it2 for even shyness has its bright side1 and contains an element of good4 ,shy men and shy races are ungraceful and undemonstrative1 because1 as regards society at large1 they are comparatively unsociable4 ,they do not possess those elegancies of manner acquired by free intercourse1 which distinguish the social races1 because their tendency is to shun society rather than to seek it4 ,they are shy in the presence of strangers1 and shy even in their own families4 ,they hide their affections under a robe of reserve1 and when they do give way to their feelings1 it is only in some very hidden inner chamber4 ,and yet1 the feelings are there1 and not the less healthy and genuine1 though they are not made the subject of exhibition to others4 #ab4 ,,worthy ,,of ,,cultivation4--,while1 therefore1 grace of manner1 politeness of behavior1 elegance of demeanor1 and all the arts that contribute to make life pleasant and beautiful1 are worthy of cultivation1 it must not be at the expense of the more solid and enduring qualities of honesty1 sincerity1 and truthfulness4 ,the fountain of beauty must be in the heart more than in the eye1 and if it does not tend to produce beautiful life and noble practice1 it will prove of comparatively little avail4 ,politeness of manner is not worth much1 unless it is accompanied by polite actions4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,influence ,,of ,,good ,,character4 ,unless above himself he can ,erect himself1 how poor a thing is man6 --,,daniel4 ,character is moral order seen through the medium of an individual nature--,men of character are the conscience of the society to which they belong4 --,,emerson4 ,the purest treasure mortal times afford1 ,is--spotless reputation2 that away1 ,men are but gilded loam1 or painted clay1 ,a jewel in a ten-times-barr'd-up chest ,is--a bold ,spirit in a loyal breast4 --,,shakespeare4 #a4 ,,reputation4--,the two most precious things this side the grave are our reputation and our life4 ,but it is to be lamented that the most contemptible whisper may deprive us of the one1 and the weakest weapon of the other4 ,a wise man1 therefore1 will be more anxious to deserve a fair name than to possess it1 and this will teach him so to live1 as not to be afraid to die4 #b4 ,,character4--,character is one of the greatest motive powers in the world4 ,in its noblest embodiments1 it exemplifies human nature in its highest forms1 for it exhibits man at his best4 #c4 ,,the ,,heart ,,that ,,rules ,,in ,,life4--,although genius always commands admiration1 character most secures respect4 ,the former is more the product of brain power1 the latter of heart power2 and in the long run it is the heart that rules in life4 ,men of genius stand to society in the relation of its intellect as men of character of its conscience3 and while the former are admired1 the latter are followed4 #d4 ,,the ,,highest ,,ideal ,,of ,,life ,,and ,,character4--,common-place though it may appear1 this doing of one's duty embodies the highest ideal of life and character4 ,there may be nothing heroic about it2 but the common lot of men is not heroic4 ,and though the abiding sense of duty upholds man in his highest attitudes1 it also equally sustains him in the transaction of the ordinary affairs of every-day existence4 ,man's life is centered in the sphere of common duties4 ,the most influential of all the virtues are those which are the most in request for daily use4 ,they wear the best1 and last the longest4 #e4 ,,wealth4--,wealth in the hands of men of weak purpose1 or deficient self-control1 or of ill regulated passions is only a temptation and a snare--the source1 it may be1 of infinite mischief to themselves1 and often to others4 ,on the contrary1 a condition of comparative poverty is compatible with character in its highest form4 ,a man may possess only his industry1 his frugality1 his integrity1 and yet stand high in the rank of true manhood4 ,the advice which ,burns' father gave him was the best3 ,he bade me act a manly part1 though ,i had ne'er a farthing1 ,for without an honest1 manly heart no man was worth regarding4 #f4 ,,character ,,is ,,property4--,it is the noblest of possessions4 ,it is an estate in the general good-will and respect of men2 they who invest in it--though they may not become rich in this world's goods--will find their reward in esteem and reputation fairly and honorably won4 ,and it is right that in life good qualities should tell--that industry1 virtue1 and goodness should rank the highest--and that the really best men should be foremost4 #g4 ,,simple ,,honesty ,,of ,,purpose4--,this in a man goes a long way in life1 if founded on a just estimate of himself and a steady obedience to the rule he knows and feels to be right4 ,it holds a man straight1 gives him strength and sustenance1 and forms a mainspring of vigorous action4 ,no man is bound to be rich or great--no1 nor to be wise--but every man is bound to be honest and virtuous4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,home ,,amusements4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,family ,,government4 #a4 ,,gentleness ,,must ,,characterize ,,every ,,act ,,of ,,authority4--,the storm of excitement that may make the child start1 bears no relation to actual obedience4 ,the inner firmness1 that sees and feels a moral conviction and expects obedience1 is only disguised and defeated by bluster4 ,the more calm and direct it is1 the greater certainty it has of dominion4 #b4 ,,for ,,the ,,government ,,of ,,small ,,children4--,for the government of small children speak only in the authority of love1 yet authority1 loving and to be obeyed4 ,the most important lesson to impart is obedience to authority as authority4 ,the question of salvation with most children will be settled as soon as they learn to obey parental authority4 ,it establishes a habit and order of mind that is ready to accept divine authority4 ,this precludes skepticism and disobedience1 and induces that childlike trust and spirit set forth as a necessary state of salvation4 ,children that are never made to obey are left to drift into the sea of passion where the pressure for surrender only tends to drive them at greater speed from the haven of safety4 #c4 ,,habits ,,of ,,self-,,denial4--,form in the child habits of self-denial4 ,pampering never matures good character4 #d4 ,,emphasize ,,integrity4--,keep the moral tissues tough in integrity2 then it will hold a hook of obligations when once set in a sure place4 ,there is nothing more vital4 ,shape all your experiments to preserve the integrity4 ,do not so reward it that it becomes mercenary4 ,turning ,state's evidence is a dangerous experiment in morals4 ,prevent deceit from succeeding4 #e4 ,,guard ,,modesty4--,to be brazen is to imperil some of the best elements of character4 ,modesty may be strengthened into a becoming confidence1 but brazen facedness can seldom be toned down into decency4 ,it requires the miracle of grace4 #f4 ,,protect ,,purity4--,teach your children to loathe impurity4 ,study the character of their playmates4 ,watch their books4 ,keep them from corruption at all cost4 ,the groups of youth in the school and in society1 and in business places1 seed with improprieties of word and thought4 ,never relax your vigilance along this exposed border4 ,illustration3 ,,both ,,puzzled4 #g4 ,,threaten ,,the ,,least ,,possible4--,in family government threaten the least possible4 ,some parents rattle off their commands with penalties so profusely that there is a steady roar of hostilities about the child's head4 ,these threats are forgotten by the parent and unheeded by the child4 ,all government is at an end4 #h4 ,,do ,,not ,,enforce ,,too ,,many ,,commands4--,leave a few things within the range of the child's knowledge that are not forbidden4 ,keep your word good1 but do not have too much of it out to be redeemed4 #i4 ,,punish ,,as ,,little ,,as ,,possible4--,sometimes punishment is necessary1 but the less it is resorted to the better4 #aj4 ,,never ,,punish ,,in ,a ,,passion4--,wrath only becomes cruelty4 ,there is no moral power in it4 ,when you seem to be angry you can do no good4 #aa4 ,,brutish ,,violence ,,only ,,multiplies ,,offenders4--,striking and beating the body seldom reaches the soul4 ,fear and hatred beget rebellion4 #ab4 ,,punish ,,privately4--,avoid punishments that break down self-respect4 ,striking the body produces shame and indignation4 ,it is enough for the other children to know that discipline is being administered4 #ac4 ,,never ,,stop ,,short ,,of ,,success4--,when the child is not conquered the punishment has been worse than wasted4 ,reach the point where neither wrath nor sullenness remain4 ,by firm persistency and persuasion require an open look of recognition and peace4 ,it is only evil to stir up the devil unless he is cast out4 ,ordinarily one complete victory will last a child for a lifetime4 ,but if the child relapses1 repeat the dose with proper accompaniments4 #ad4 ,,do ,,not ,,require ,,children ,,to ,,complain ,,of ,,themselves ,,for ,,pardon4--,it begets either sycophants or liars4 ,it is the part of the government to detect offences4 ,it reverses the order of matters to shirk this duty4 #ae4 ,,grade ,,authority ,,up ,,to ,,liberty4--,the growing child must have experiments of freedom4 ,lead him gently into the family4 ,counsel with him4 ,let him plan as he can4 ,by and by he has the confidence of courage without the danger of exposures4 #af4 ,,respect4--,parents must respect each other4 ,undermining either undermines both4 ,always govern in the spirit of love4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,conversation4 ,some men are very entertaining for a first interview1 but after that they are exhausted1 and run out2 on a second meeting we shall find them very flat and monotonous2 like hand-organs1 we have heard all their tunes4--,,coulton4 ,he who sedulously attends1 pointedly asks1 calmly speaks1 coolly answers1 and ceases when he has no more to say1 is in possession of some of the best requisites of man4--,,lavater4 ,beauty is never so lovely as when adorned with the smile1 and conversation never sits easier upon us than when we know and then discharge ourselves in a symphony of ,laughter1 which may not improperly be called the ,chorus of ,conversation4--,,steele4 ,the first ingredient in ,conversation is ,truth1 the next ,good ,sense1 the third ,good ,humor1 and the fourth ,wit4--,,sir ,,william ,,temple4 ,,home ,,lessons ,,in ,,conversation4 ,say nothing unpleasant when it can be avoided4 ,avoid satire and sarcasm4 ,never repeat a word that was not intended for repetition4 ,cultivate the supreme wisdom1 which consists less in saying what ought to be said than in not saying what ought not to be said4 ,often cultivate flashes of silence4 ,it is the larger half of the conversation to listen well4 ,listen to others patiently1 especially the poor4 ,sharp sayings are an evidence of low breeding4 ,shun faultfindings and faultfinders4 ,never utter an uncomplimentary word against anyone4 ,compliments delicately hinted and sincerely intended are a grace in conversation4 ,commendation of gifts and cleverness properly put are in good taste1 but praise of beauty is offensive4 ,repeating kind expressions is proper4 ,compliments given in a joke may be gratefully received in earnest4 ,the manner and tone are important parts of a compliment4 ,avoid egotism4 ,don't talk of yourself1 or of your friends or your deeds4 ,give no sign that you appreciate your own merits4 ,do not become a distributer of the small talk of a community4 ,the smiles of your auditors do not mean respect4 ,avoid giving the impression of one filled with suppressed egotism4 ,never mention your own peculiarities2 for culture destroys vanity4 ,avoid exaggeration4 ,do not be too positive4 ,do not talk of display oratory4 ,do not try to lead in conversation looking around to enforce silence4 ,lay aside affected1 silly etiquette for the natural dictates of the heart4 ,direct the conversation where others can join with you and impart to you useful information4 ,avoid oddity4 ,eccentricity is shallow vanity4 ,be modest4 ,be what you wish to seem4 ,avoid repeating a brilliant or clever saying4 ,illustration3 ,,thinking ,,only ,,of ,,dress4 ,if you find bashfulness or embarrassment coming upon you1 do or say something at once4 ,the commonest matter gently stated is better than an embarrassing silence4 ,sometimes changing your position1 or looking into a book for a moment may relieve your embarrassment1 and dispel any settling stiffness4 ,avoid telling many stories1 or repeating a story more than once in the same company4 ,never treat any one as if you simply wanted him to tell stories4 ,people laugh and despise such a one4 ,never tell a coarse story4 ,no wit or preface can make it excusable4 ,tell a story1 if at all1 only as an illustration1 and not for itself4 ,tell it accurately4 ,be careful in asking questions for the purpose of starting conversation or drawing out a person1 not to be rude or intrusive4 ,never take liberties by staring1 or by any rudeness4 ,never infringe upon any established regulations among strangers4 ,do not always prove yourself to be the one in the right4 ,the right will appear4 ,you need only give it a chance4 ,avoid argument in conversation4 ,it is discourteous to your host4 ,cultivate paradoxes in conversation with your peers4 ,they add interest to common-place matters4 ,to strike the harmless faith of ordinary people in any public idol is waste1 but such a movement with those able to reply is better4 ,never discourse upon your ailments4 ,never use words of the meaning or pronunciation of which you are uncertain4 ,avoid discussing your own or other people's domestic concerns4 ,never prompt a slow speaker1 as if you had all the ability4 ,in conversing with a foreigner who may be learning our language1 it is excusable to help him in some delicate way4 ,never give advice unasked4 ,do not manifest impatience4 ,do not interrupt another when speaking4 ,do not find fault1 though you may gently criticise4 ,do not appear to notice inaccuracies of speech in others4 ,do not always commence a conversation by allusion to the weather4 ,do not1 when narrating an incident1 continually say1 you see1 you know4 ,do not allow yourself to lose temper or speak excitedly4 ,do not introduce professional or other topics that the company generally cannot take an interest in4 ,do not talk very loud4 ,a firm1 clear1 distinct1 yet mild1 gentle1 and musical voice has great power4 ,do not be absent-minded1 requiring the speaker to repeat what has been said that you may understand4 ,do not try to force yourself into the confidence of others4 ,do not use profanity1 vulgar terms1 words of double meaning1 or language that will bring the blush to anyone4 ,do not allow yourself to speak ill of the absent one if it can be avoided4 ,the day may come when some friend will be needed to defend you in your absence4 ,do not speak with contempt and ridicule of a locality which you may be visiting4 ,find something to truthfully praise and commend2 thus make yourself agreeable4 ,do not make a pretense of gentility1 nor parade the fact that you are a descendant of any notable family4 ,you must pass for just what you are1 and must stand on your own merit4 ,do not contradict4 ,in making a correction say1 ,i beg your pardon1 but ,i had the impression that it was so and so4 ,be careful in contradicting1 as you may be wrong yourself4 ,do not be unduly familiar2 you will merit contempt if you are4 ,neither should you be dogmatic in your assertions1 arrogating to yourself such consequences in your opinions4 ,do not be too lavish in your praise of various members of your own family when speaking to strangers2 the person to whom you are speaking may know some faults that you do not4 ,do not feel it incumbent upon yourself to carry your point in conversation4 ,should the person with whom you are conversing feel the same1 your talk may lead into violent argument4 ,do not try to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what their profits are1 what things cost1 whether ,melissa ever had a beau1 and why ,amarette never got married8 ,all such questions are extremely impertinent and are likely to meet with rebuke4 ,do not whisper in company2 do not engage in private conversation2 do not speak a foreign language which the general company present may not understand1 unless it is understood that the foreigner is unable to speak your own language4 ,illustration3 ,,widower ,,jones ,,and ,,widow ,,smith4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,toilet4 ,,or ,the ,care of the ,person4 ,,important ,,rules4 #a4 ,,good ,,appearance4--,the first care of all persons should be for their personal appearance4 ,those who are slovenly or careless in their habits are unfit for refined society1 and cannot possibly make a good appearance in it4 ,a well-bred person will always cultivate habits of the most scrupulous neatness4 ,a gentleman or lady is always well dressed4 ,the garment may be plain or of coarse material1 or even worn thin and shiny1 but if it is carefully brushed and neat1 it can be worn with dignity4 #b4 ,,personal ,,cleanliness4--,personal appearance depends greatly on the careful toilet and scrupulous attention to dress4 ,the first point which marks the gentleman or lady in appearance is rigid cleanliness4 ,this remark supplies to the body and everything which covers it4 ,a clean skin--only to be secured by frequent baths--is indispensable4 #c4 ,,the ,,teeth4--,the teeth should receive the utmost attention4 ,many a young man has been disgusted with a lady by seeing her unclean and discolored teeth4 ,it takes but a few moments1 and if necessary secure some simple tooth powder or rub the teeth thoroughly every day with a linen handkerchief1 and it will give the teeth and mouth a beautiful and clean appearance4 #d4 ,,the ,,hair ,,and ,,beard4--,the hair should be thoroughly brushed and well kept1 and the beard of men properly trimmed4 ,men should not let their hair grow long and shaggy4 #e4 ,,underclothing4--,the matter of cleanliness extends to all articles of clothing1 underwear as well as the outer clothing4 ,cleanliness is a mark of true utility4 ,the clothes need not necessarily be of a rich and expensive quality1 but they can all be kept clean4 ,some persons have an odor about them that is very offensive1 simply on account of their underclothing being worn too long without washing4 ,this odor of course cannot be detected by the person who wears the soiled garments1 but other persons easily detect it and are offended by it4 #f4 ,,the ,,bath4--,no person should think for a moment that they can be popular in society without regular bathing4 ,a bath should be taken at least once a week1 and if the feet perspire they should be washed several times a week1 as the case may require4 ,it is not unfrequent that young men are seen with dirty ears and neck4 ,this is unpardonable and boorish1 and shows gross neglect4 ,occasionally a young lady will be called upon unexpectedly when her neck and smiling face are not emblems of cleanliness4 ,every lady owes it to herself to be fascinating2 every gentleman is bound1 for his own sake1 to be presentable2 but beyond this there is the obligation to society1 to one's friends1 and to those with whom we may be brought in contact4 #g4 ,,soiled ,,garments4--,a young man's garments may not be expensive1 yet there is no excuse for wearing a soiled collar and a soiled shirt1 or carrying a soiled handkerchief4 ,no one should appear as though he had slept in a stable1 shaggy hair1 soiled clothing or garments indifferently put on and carelessly buttoned4 ,a young man's vest should always be kept buttoned in the presence of ladies4 #h4 ,,the ,,breath4--,care should be taken to remedy an offensive breath without delay4 ,nothing renders one so unpleasant to one's acquaintance1 or is such a source of misery to one's self4 ,the evil may be from some derangement of the stomach or some defective condition of the teeth1 or catarrhal affection of the throat and nose4 ,see remedies in other portions of the book4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,young ,,man',s ,,personal ,,appearance4 ,dress changes the manners4--,,voltaire4 ,whose garments wither1 shall receive faded smiles4--,,sheridan ,,knowles4 ,men of sense follow fashion so far that they are neither conspicuous for their excess nor peculiar by their opposition to it4--,,anonymous4 #a4 ,a well-dressed man does not require so much an extensive as a varied wardrobe4 ,he does not need a different suit for every season and every occasion1 but if he is careful to select clothes that are simple and not striking or conspicuous1 he may use the garment over and over again without their being noticed1 provided they are suitable to the season and the occasion4 #b4 ,a clean shirt1 collar and cuffs always make a young man look neat and tidy1 even if his clothes are not of the latest pattern and are somewhat threadbare4 #c4 ,propriety is outraged when a man of sixty dresses like a youth or sixteen4 ,it is bad manners for a gentleman to use perfumes to a noticeable extent4 ,avoid affecting singularity in dress4 ,expensive clothes are no sign of a gentleman4 #d4 ,when dressed for company1 strive to appear easy and natural4 ,nothing is more distressing to a sensitive person1 or more ridiculous to one gifted with refinement1 than to see a lady laboring under the consciousness of a fine gown or a gentleman who is stiff1 awkward and ungainly in a brand-new coat4 #e4 ,avoid what is called the ruffianly style of dress or the slouchy appearance of a half-unbottoned vest1 and suspenderless pantaloons4 ,that sort of affectation is1 if possible1 even more disgusting than the painfully elaborate frippery of the dandy or dude4 ,keep your clothes well brushed and keep them cleaned4 ,slight spots can be removed with a little sponge and soap and water4 #f4 ,a gentleman should never wear a high hat unless he has on a frock coat or a dress suit4 #g4 ,a man's jewelry should be good and simple4 ,brass or false jewelry1 like other forms of falsehood1 is vulgar4 ,wearing many cheap decorations is a serious fault4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,dude ,,of ,,the #ag,,th ,,century4 #h4 ,if a man wears a ring it should be on the third finger of the left hand4 ,this is the only piece of jewelry a man is allowed to wear that does not serve a purpose4 #i4 ,wearing imitations of diamonds is always in very bad taste4 #aj4 ,every man looks better in a full beard if he keeps it well trimmed4 ,if a man shaves he should shave at least every other day1 unless he is in the country4 #aa4 ,the finger-nails should be kept cut1 and the teeth should be cleaned every morning1 and kept clear from tarter4 ,a man who does not keep his teeth clean does not look like a gentleman when he shows them4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,dress4 ,we sacrifice to dress1 till household joys ,and comforts cease4 ,dress drains our cellar dry1 ,and keeps our larder lean4 ,puts out our fires1 ,and introduces hunger1 frost and woe1 ,where peace and hospitality might reign4 --,,cowper #a4 ,,god ,,is ,a ,,lover ,,of ,,dress4--,we cannot but feel that ,god is a lover of dress4 ,he has put on robes of beauty and glory upon all his works4 ,every flower is dressed in richness2 every field blushes beneath a mantle of beauty2 every star is veiled in brightness2 every bird is clothed in the habiliments of the most exquisite taste4 ,the cattle upon the thousand hills are dressed by the hand divine4 ,who1 studying ,god in his works1 can doubt1 that he will smile upon the evidence of correct taste manifested by his children in clothing the forms he has made them8 #b4 ,,love ,,of ,,dress4--,to love dress is not to be a slave of fashion2 to love dress only is the test of such homage4 ,to transact the business of charity in a silken dress1 and to go in a carriage to the work1 injures neither the work nor the worker4 ,the slave of fashion is one who assumes the livery of a princess1 and then omits the errand of the good human soul2 dresses in elegance1 and goes upon no good errand1 and thinks and does nothing of value to mankind4 #c4 ,,beauty ,,in ,,dress4--,beauty in dress is a good thing1 rail at it who may4 ,but it is a lower beauty1 for which a higher beauty should not be sacrificed4 ,they love dresses too much who give it their first thought1 their best time1 or all their money2 who for it neglect the culture of their mind or heart1 or the claims of others on their service2 who care more for their dress than their disposition2 who are troubled more by an unfashionable bonnet than a neglected duty4 #d4 ,,simplicity ,,of ,,dress4--,female lovliness never appears to so good advantage as when set off by simplicity of dress4 ,no artist ever decks his angels with towering feathers and gaudy jewelry2 and our dear human angels--if they would make good their title to that name--should carefully avoid ornaments1 which properly belong to ,indian squaws and ,african princesses4 ,these tinselries may serve to give effect on the stage1 or upon the ball room floor1 but in daily life there is no substitute for the charm of simplicity4 ,a vulgar taste is not to be disguised by gold or diamonds4 ,the absence of a true taste and refinement of delicacy cannot be compensated for by the possession of the most princely fortune4 ,mind measures gold1 but gold cannot measure mind4 ,through dress the mind may be read1 as through the delicate tissue the lettered page4 ,a modest woman will dress modestly2 a really refined and intelligent woman will bear the marks of careful selection and faultless taste4 #e4 ,,people ,,of ,,sense4--,a coat that has the mark of use upon it1 is a recommendation to the people of sense1 and a hat with too much nap1 and too high lustre1 a derogatory circumstance4 ,the best coats in our streets are worn on the backs of penniless fops1 broken down merchants1 clerks with pitiful salaries1 and men that do not pay up4 ,the heaviest gold chains dangle from the fobs of gamblers and gentlemen of very limited means2 costly ornaments on ladies1 indicate to the eyes that are well opened1 the fact of a silly lover or husband cramped for funds4 #f4 ,,plain ,,and ,,neat4--,when a pretty woman goes by in plain and neat apparel1 it is the presumption that she has fair expectations1 and a husband that can show a balance in his favor4 ,for women are like books1--too much gilding makes men suspicious1 that the binding is the most important part4 ,the body is the shell of the soul1 and the dress is the husk of the body2 but the husk generally tells what the kernel is4 ,as a fashionably dressed young lady passed some gentlemen1 one of them raised his hat1 whereupon another1 struck by the fine appearance of the lady1 made some inquiries concerning her1 and was answered thus3 ,she makes a pretty ornament in her father's house1 but otherwise is of no use4 #g4 ,,the ,,richest ,,dress4--,the richest dress is always worn on the soul4 ,the adornments that will not perish1 and that all men most admire1 shine from the heart through this life4 ,god has made it our highest1 holiest duty1 to dress the souls he has given us4 ,it is wicked to waste it in frivolity4 ,it is a beautiful1 undying1 precious thing4 ,if every young woman would think of her soul when she looks in the glass1 would hear the cry of her naked mind when she dallies away her precious hours at her toilet1 would listen to the sad moaning of her hollow heart1 as it wails through her idle1 useless life1 something would be done for the elevation of womanhood4 #h4 ,,dressing ,,up4--,compare a well-dressed body with a well-dressed mind4 ,compare a taste for dress with a taste for knowledge1 culture1 virtue1 and piety4 ,dress up an ignorant young woman in the height of fashion2 put on plumes and flowers1 diamonds and gewgaws2 paint her face1 girt up her waist1 and ,i ask you1 if this side of a painted and feathered savage you can find anything more unpleasant to behold4 ,and yet such young women we meet by the hundred every day on the street and in all our public places4 ,it is awful to think of4 #i4 ,,dress ,,affects ,,our ,,manners4--,a man who is badly dressed1 feels chilly1 sweaty1 and prickly4 ,he stammers1 and does not always tell the truth4 ,he means to1 perhaps1 but he can't4 ,he is half distracted about his pantaloons1 which are much to short1 and are constantly hitching up2 or his frayed jacket and crumpled linen harrow his soul1 and quite unman him4 ,he treads on the train of a lady's dress1 and says1 ,thank you1 sits down on his hat1 and wishes the desert were his dwelling place4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,beauty4 ,she walks in beauty1 like the night ,of cloudless climes and starry skies3 ,and all that's best of dark and bright ,meet her in aspect and in her eyes2 ,thus mellowed to that tender light ,which heaven to gaudy day denies4 --,,byron4 #a4 ,,the ,,highest ,,style ,,of ,,beauty4--,the highest style of beauty to be found in nature pertains to the human form1 as animated and lighted up by the intelligence within4 ,it is the expression of the soul that constitutes this superior beauty4 ,it is that which looks out of the eye1 which sits in calm majesty on the brow1 lurks on the lip1 smiles on the cheek1 is set forth in the chiselled lines and features of the countenance1 in the general contour of figure and form1 in the movement1 and gesture1 and tone2 it is this looking out of the invisible spirit that dwells within1 this manifestation of the higher nature1 that we admire and love2 this constitutes to us the beauty of our species4 #b4 ,,beauty ,,which ,,perishes ,,not4--,there is a beauty which perishes not4 ,it is such as the angels wear4 ,it forms the washed white robes of the saints4 ,it wreathes the countenance of every doer of good4 ,it adorns every honest face4 ,it shines in the virtuous life4 ,it molds the hands of charity4 ,it sweetens the voice of sympathy4 ,it sparkles on the brow of wisdom4 ,it flashes in the eye of love4 ,it breathes in the spirit of piety4 ,it is the beauty of the heaven of heavens4 ,it is that which may grow by the hand of culture in every human soul4 ,it is the flower of the spirit which blossoms on the tree of life4 ,every soul may plant and nurture it in its own garden1 in its own ,eden4 #c4 ,,we ,,may ,,all ,,be ,,beautiful4--,this is the capacity of beauty that ,god has given to the human soul1 and this the beauty placed within the reach of all4 ,we may all be beautiful4 ,though our forms may be uncomely and our features not the prettiest1 our spirits may be beautiful4 ,and this inward beauty always shines through4 ,a beautiful heart will flash out in the eye4 ,a lovely soul will glow in the face4 ,a sweet spirit will tune the voice1 wreathe the countenance in charms4 ,oh1 there is a power in interior beauty that melts the hardest heart6 #d4 ,,woman ,,the ,,most ,,perfect ,,type ,,of ,,beauty4--,woman1 by common consent1 we regard as the most perfect type of beauty on earth4 ,to her we ascribe the highest charms belonging to this wonderful element so profusely mingled in all ,god's works4 ,her form is molded and finished in exquisite delicacy of perfection4 ,the earth gives us no form more perfect1 no features more symmetrical1 no style more chaste1 no movements more graceful1 no finish more complete2 so that our artists ever have and ever will regard the woman-form of humanity as the most perfect earthly type of beauty4 ,this form is most perfect and symmetrical in the youth of womanhood2 so that the youthful woman is earth's queen of beauty4 ,this is true1 not only by the common consent of mankind1 but also by the strictest rules of scientific criticism4 #e4 ,,fadeless ,,beauty4--,there cannot be a picture without its bright spots2 and the steady contemplation of what is bright in others1 has a reflex influence upon the beholder4 ,it reproduces what it reflects4 ,nay1 it seems to leave an impress even upon the countenance4 ,the feature1 from having a dark1 sinister aspect1 becomes open1 serene1 and sunny4 ,a countenance so impressed1 has neither the vacant stare of the idiot1 nor the crafty1 penetrating look of the basilisk1 but the clear1 placid aspect of truth and goodness4 ,the woman who has such a face is beautiful4 ,she has a beauty which changes not with the features1 which fades not with years4 ,it is beauty of expression4 ,it is the only kind of beauty which can be relied upon for a permanent influence with the other sex4 ,the violet will soon cease to smile4 ,flowers must fade4 ,the love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it1 soon withers away4 ,illustration3 ,,hand ,,in ,,hand4 #f4 ,a ,,pretty ,,woman ,,pleases ,,the ,,eye1 a good woman1 the heart4 ,the one is a jewel1 the other a treasure4 ,invincible fidelity1 good humor1 and complacency of temper1 outlive all the charms of a fine face1 and make the decay of it invisible4 ,that is true beauty which has not only a substance1 but a spirit2 a beauty that we must intimately know to justly appreciate4 #g4 ,,the ,,woman ,,you ,,love ,,best4--,beauty1 dear reader1 is probably the woman you love best1 but we trust it is the beauty of soul and character1 which sits in calm majesty on the brow1 lurks on the lip1 and will outlive what is called a fine face4 #h4 ,,the ,,wearing ,,of ,,ornaments4--,beauty needs not the foreign aid of ornament1 but is when unadorned adorned the most1 is a trite observation2 but with a little qualification it is worthy of general acceptance4 ,aside from the dress itself1 ornaments should be very sparingly used--at any rate1 the danger lies in over-loading oneself1 and not in using too few4 ,a young girl1 and especially one of a light and airy style of beauty1 should never wear gems4 ,a simple flower in her hair or on her bosom is all that good taste will permit4 ,when jewels or other ornaments are worn1 they should be placed where you desire the eye of the spectator to rest1 leaving the parts to which you do not want attention called as plain and negative as possible4 ,there is no surer sign of vulgarity than a profusion of heavy jewelry carried about upon the person4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,sensible ,,helps ,,to ,,beauty4 #a4 ,,for ,,scrawny ,,neck4--,take off your tight collars1 feather boas and such heating things4 ,wash neck and chest with hot water1 then rub in sweet oil all that you can work in4 ,apply this every night before you retire and leave the skin damp with it while you sleep4 #b4 ,,for ,,red ,,hands4--,keep your feet warm by soaking them often in hot water1 and keep your hands out of the water as much as possible4 ,rub your hands with the skin of a lemon and it will whiten them4 ,if your skin will bear glycerine after you have washed1 pour into the palm a little glycerine and lemon juice mixed1 and rub over the hands and wipe off4 #c4 ,,neck ,,and ,,face4--,do not bathe the neck and face just before or after being out of doors4 ,it tends to wrinkle the skin4 #d4 ,,scowls4--,never allow yourself to scowl1 even if the sun be in your eyes4 ,that scowl will soon leave its trace and no beauty will outlive it4 #e4 ,,wrinkled ,,forehead4--,if you wrinkle your forehead when you talk or read1 visit an oculist and have your eyes tested1 and then wear glasses to fit them4 #f4 ,,old ,,looks4--,sometimes your face looks old because it is tired4 ,then apply the following wash and it will make you look younger3 ,put three drops of ammonia1 a little borax1 a tablespoonful of bay rum1 and a few drops of camphor into warm water and apply to your face4 ,avoid getting it into your eyes4 #g4 ,,the ,,best ,,cosmetic4--,squeeze the juice of a lemon into a pint of sweet milk4 ,wash the face with it every night and in the morning wash off with warm rain water4 ,this will produce a very beautiful effect upon the skin4 #h4 ,,spots ,,on ,,the ,,face4--,moles and many other discolorations may be removed from the face by a preparation composed of one part chemically pure carbolic acid and two parts pure glycerine4 ,touch the spots with a camel's-hair pencil1 being careful that the preparation does not come in contact with the adjacent skin4 ,five minutes after touching1 bathe with soft water and apply a little vaseline4 ,it may be necessary to repeat the operation1 but if persisted in1 the blemishes will be entirely removed4 #i4 ,,wrinkles4--,this prescription is said to cure wrinkles3 ,take one ounce of white wax and melt it to a gentle heat4 ,add two ounces of the juice of lily bulbs1 two ounces of honey1 two drams of rose water1 and a drop or two of ottar of roses4 ,apply twice a day1 rubbing the wrinkles the wrong way4 ,always use tepid water for washing the face4 #aj4 ,,the ,,hair4--,the hair must be kept free from dust or it will fall out4 ,one of the best things for cleaning it1 is a raw egg rubbed into the roots and then washed out in several waters4 ,the egg furnishes material for the hair to grow on1 while keeping the scalp perfectly clean4 ,apply once a month4 #aa4 ,,loss ,,of ,,hair4--,when through sickness or headache the hair falls out1 the following tonic may be applied with good effect3 ,use one ounce of glycerine1 one ounce of bay rum1 one pint of strong sage tea1 and apply every other night rubbing well into the scalp4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,keep ,,the ,,bloom ,,and ,,grace ,,of ,,youth4 ,,the ,,secret ,,of ,,its ,,preservation4 ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,wm4 ,mc,k,i,n,l,e,y4 #a4 ,the question most often asked by women is regarding the art of retaining1 with advancing years1 the bloom and grace of youth4 ,this secret is not learned through the analysis of chemical compounds1 but by a thorough study of nature's laws peculiar to their sex4 ,it is useless for women with wrinkled faces1 dimmed eyes and blemished skins to seek for external applications of beautifying balms and lotions to bring the glow of life and health into the face1 and yet there are truths1 simple yet wonderful1 whereby the bloom of early life can be restored and retained1 as should be the heritage of all ,god's children1 sending the light of beauty into every woman's face4 ,the secret3 #b4 ,do not bathe in hard water2 soften it with a few drops of ammonia1 or a little borax4 #c4 ,do not bathe the face while it is very warm1 and never use very cold water4 #d4 ,do not attempt to remove dust with cold water2 give your face a hot bath1 using plenty of good soap1 then give it a thorough rinsing with warm water4 #e4 ,do not rub your face with a coarse towel4 #f4 ,do not believe you can remove wrinkles by filling in the crevices with powder4 ,give your face a ,russian bath every night2 that is1 bathe it with water so hot that you wonder how you can bear it1 and then1 a minute after1 with moderately cold water1 that will make your face glow with warmth2 dry it with a soft towel4 ,illustration3 ,,male4 ,,female4 ,showing the ,difference in ,form and ,proportion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,form ,,and ,,deformity4 #a4 ,,physical ,,deformities4--,masquerading is a modern accomplishment4 ,girls wear tight shoes1 burdensome skirts1 corsets1 etc41 all of which prove so fatal to their health4 ,at the age of seventeen or eighteen1 our young ladies are sorry specimens of feminality2 and palpitators1 cosmetics and all the modern paraphernalia are required to make them appear fresh and blooming4 ,man is equally at fault4 ,a devotee to all the absurd devices of fashion1 he practically asserts that dress makes the man4 ,but physical deformities are of far less importance than moral imperfections4 #b4 ,,development ,,of ,,the ,,individual4--,it is not possible for human beings to attain their full stature of humanity1 except by loving long and perfectly4 ,behold that venerable man6 he is mature in judgment1 perfect in every action and expression1 and saintly in goodness4 ,you almost worship as you behold4 ,what rendered him thus perfect8 ,what rounded off his natural asperities1 and moulded up his virtues8 ,love mainly4 ,it permeated every pore1 and seasoned every fibre of his being1 as could nothing else4 ,mark that matronly woman4 ,in the bosom of her family she is more than a queen and goddess combined4 ,all her looks and actions express the outflowing of some or all of the human virtues4 ,to know her is to love her4 ,she became thus perfect1 not in a day or year1 but by a long series of appropriate means4 ,then by what8 ,chiefly in and by love1 which is specially adapted thus to develop this maturity4 #c4 ,,physical ,,stature4--,men and women generally increase in stature until the twenty-fifth year1 and it is safe to assume1 that perfection of function is not established until maturity of bodily development is completed4 ,the physical contour of these representations plainly exhibits the difference in structure1 and also implies difference of function4 ,solidity and strength are represented by the organization of the male1 grace and beauty by that of the female4 ,his broad shoulders represent physical power and the right of dominion1 while her bosom is the symbol of love and nutrition4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,determine ,a ,,perfect ,,human ,,figure4 ,the proportions of the perfect human figure are strictly mathematical4 ,the whole figure is six times the length of the foot4 ,whether the form be slender or plump1 this rule holds good4 ,any deviation from it is a departure from the highest beauty of proportion4 ,the ,greeks made all their statues according to this rule4 ,the face1 from the highest point of the forehead1 where the hair begins1 to the end of the chin1 is one-tenth of the whole stature4 ,the hand1 from the wrist to the end of the middle finger1 is the same4 ,the chest is a fourth1 and from the nipples to the top of the head is the same4 ,from the top of the chest to the highest point of the forehead is a seventh4 ,if the length of the face1 from the roots of the hair to the chin1 be divided into three equal parts1 the first division determines the point where the eyebrows meet1 and the second the place of the nostrils4 ,the navel is the central point of the human body1 and if a man should lie on his back with his arms and legs extended1 the periphery of the circle which might be described around him1 with the navel for its center1 would touch the extremities of his hands and feet4 ,the height from the feet to the top of the head is the same as the distance from the extremity of one hand to the extremity of the other when the arms are extended4 ,illustration3 ,lady's ,dress in the days of ,greece4 ,the ,venus de ,medici is considered the most perfect model of the female forms1 and has been the admiration of the world for ages4 ,alexander ,walker1 after minutely describing this celebrated statue1 says3 ,all these admirable characteristics of the female form1 the mere existence of which in woman must1 one is tempted to imagine1 be even to herself1 a source of ineffable pleasure1 these constitute a being worthy1 as the personification of beauty1 of occupying the temples of ,greece2 present an object finer1 alas1 than ,nature even seems capable of producing2 and offer to all nations and ages a theme of admiration and delight4 ,well might ,thomson say3 ,so stands the statue that enchants the world1 ,so1 bending1 tries to vail the matchless boast-- ,the mingled beauties of exulting ,greece4 ,we beg our readers to observe the form of the waist 7evidently innocent of corsets and tight dresses7 of this model woman1 and also that of the ,greek ,slave in the accompanying outlines4 ,these forms are such as unperverted nature and the highest art alike require4 ,to compress the waist1 and thereby change its form1 pushing the ribs inward1 displacing the vital organs1 and preventing the due expansion of the lungs1 is as destructive to beauty as it is to health4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,history1 ,,mystery1 ,,benefits ,,and ,,injuries ,,of ,,the ,,corset4 ,illustration3 ,the ,corset in the #ahth ,century4 #a4 ,the origin of the corset is lost in remote antiquity4 ,the figures of the early ,egyptian women show clearly an artificial shape of the waist produced by some style of corset4 ,a similar style of dress must also have prevailed among the ancient ,jewish maidens2 for ,isaiah1 in calling upon the women to put away their personal adornments1 says3 ,instead of a girdle there shall be a rent1 and instead of a stomacher 7corset7 a girdle of sackcloth4 #b4 ,homer also tells us of the cestus or girdle of ,venus1 which was borrowed by the haughty ,juno with a view to increasing her personal attractions1 that ,jupiter might be a more tractable and orderly husband4 #c4 ,coming down to the later times1 we find the corset was used in ,france and ,england as early as the #abth century4 #d4 ,the most extensive and extreme use of the corset occurred in the #afth century1 during the reign of ,catherine de ,medici of ,france and ,queen ,elizabeth of ,england4 ,with ,catherine de ,medici a thirteen-inch waist measurement was considered the standard of fashion1 while a thick waist was an abomination4 ,no lady could consider her figure of proper shape unless she could span her waist with her two hands4 ,to produce this result a strong rigid corset was worn night and day until the waist was laced down to the required size4 ,then over this corset was placed the steel apparatus shown in the illustration on next page4 ,this corset-cover reached from the hip to the throat1 and produced a rigid figure over which the dress would fit with perfect smoothness4 ,illustration3 ,steel ,corset worn in ,catherine's time4 #e4 ,during the #ahth century corsets were largely made from a species of leather known as ,bend1 which was not unlike that used for shoe soles1 and measured nearly a quarter of an inch in thickness4 ,one of the most popular corsets of the time was the corset and stomacher shown in the accompanying illustration4 #f4 ,about the time of the ,french ,revolution a reaction set in against tight lacing1 and for a time there was a return to the early classical ,greek costume4 ,this style of dress prevailed1 with various modifications1 until about #ahaj when corsets and tight lacing again returned with threefold fury4 ,buchan1 a prominent writer of this period1 says that it was by no means uncommon to see a mother lay her daughter down upon the carpet1 and1 placing her foot upon her back1 break half a dozen laces in tightening her stays4 #g4 ,it is reserved to our own time to demonstrate that corsets and tight lacing do not necessarily go hand in hand4 ,distortion and feebleness are not beauty4 ,a proper proportion should exist between the size of the waist and the breadth of the shoulders and hips1 and if the waist is diminished below this proportion1 it suggests disproportion and invalidism rather than grace and beauty4 #h4 ,the perfect corset is one which possesses just that degree of rigidity which will prevent it from wrinkling1 but will at the same time allow freedom in the bending and twisting of the body4 ,corsets boned with whalebone1 horn or steel are necessarily stiff1 rigid and uncomfortable4 ,after a few days' wear the bones or steels become bent and set in position1 or1 as more frequently happens1 they break and cause injury or discomfort to the wearer4 #i4 ,about seven years ago an article was discovered for the stiffening of corsets1 which has revolutionized the corset industry of the world4 ,this article is manufactured from the natural fibers of the ,mexican ,ixtle plant1 and is known as ,coraline4 ,it consists of straight1 stiff fibers like bristles bound together into a cord by being wound with two strands of thread passing in opposite directions4 ,this produces an elastic fiber intermediate in stiffness between twine and whalebone4 ,it cannot break1 but it possesses all the stiffness and flexibility necessary to hold the corset in shape and prevent its wrinkling4 ,we congratulate the ladies of to-day upon the advantages they enjoy over their sisters of two centuries ago1 in the forms and the graceful and easy curves of the corsets now made as compared with those of former times4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,forms of ,corsets in the time of ,elizabeth of ,england4 ,illustration3 ,,egyptian ,,corset4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,tight-,,lacing4 ,it destroys natural beauty and creates an unpleasant and irritable temper4 ,a tight-laced chest and a good disposition cannot go together4 ,the human form has been molded by nature1 the best shape is undoubtedly that which she has given it4 ,to endeavor to render it more elegant by artificial means is to change it2 to make it much smaller below and much larger above is to destroy its beauty2 to keep it cased up in a kind of domestic cuirass is not only to deform it1 but to expose the internal parts to serious injury4 ,under such compression as is commonly practiced by ladies1 the development of the bones1 which are still tender1 does not take place conformably to the intention of nature1 because nutrition is necessarily stopped1 and they consequently become twisted and deformed4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,natural ,,waist4 ,,the ,,effects ,,of ,,lacing4 ,those who wear these appliances of tight-lacing often complain that they cannot sit upright without them--are sometimes1 indeed1 compelled to wear them during all the twenty-four hours2 a fact which proves to what extent such articles weaken the muscles of the trunk4 ,the injury does not fall merely on the internal structure of the body1 but also on its beauty1 and on the temper and feelings with which that beauty is associated4 ,beauty is in reality but another name for expression of countenance1 which is the index of sound health1 intelligence1 good feelings and peace of mind4 ,all are aware that uneasy feelings1 existing habitually in the breast1 speedily exhibit their signature on the countenance1 and that bitter thoughts or a bad temper spoil the human expression of its comeliness and grace4 ,illustration3 ,,natural ,,hair4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,care ,,of ,,the ,,hair4 #a4 ,,the ,,color ,,of ,,the ,,hair4--,the color of the hair corresponds with that of the skin--being dark or black1 with a dark complexion1 and red or yellow with a fair skin4 ,when a white skin is seen in conjunction with black hair1 as among the women of ,syria and ,barbary1 the apparent exception arises from protection from the sun's rays1 and opposite colors are often found among people of one prevailing feature4 ,thus red-haired ,jews are not uncommon1 though the nation in general have dark complexion and hair4 #b4 ,,the ,,imperishable ,,nature ,,of ,,hair4--,the imperishable nature of hair arises from the combination of salt and metals in its composition4 ,in old tombs and on mummies it has been found in a perfect state1 after a lapse of over two thousand years4 ,there are many curious accounts proving the indestructibility of the human hair4 #c4 ,,tubular4--,in the human family the hairs are tubular1 the tubes being intersected by partitions1 resembling in some degree the cellular tissue of plants4 ,their hollowness prevents incumbrance from weight1 while their power of resistance is increased by having their traverse sections rounded in form4 #d4 ,,cautions4--,it is ascertained that a full head of hair1 beard and whiskers1 are a prevention against colds and consumptions4 ,occasionally1 however1 it is found necessary to remove the hair from the head1 in cases of fever or disease1 to stay the inflammatory symptoms1 and to relieve the brain4 ,the head should invariably be kept cool4 ,close night-caps are unhealthy1 and smoking-caps and coverings for the head within doors are alike detrimental to the free growth of the hair1 weakening it1 and causing it to fall out4 ,,how ,,to ,,beautify ,,and ,,preserve ,,the ,,hair4 #a4 ,,to ,,beautify ,,the ,,hair4--,keep the head clean1 the pores of the skin open1 and the whole circulatory system in a healthy condition1 and you will have no need of bear's grease 7alias hog's lard74 ,where there is a tendency in the hair to fall off on account of the weakness or sluggishness of the circulation1 or an unhealthy state of the skin1 cold water and friction with a tolerably stiff brush are probably the best remedial agents4 #b4 ,,barber',s ,,shampoos4--,are very beneficial if properly prepared4 ,they should not be made too strong4 ,avoid strong shampoos of any kind4 ,great caution should be exercised in this matter4 #c4 ,,care ,,of ,,the ,,hair4--,to keep the hair healthy1 keep the head clean4 ,brush the scalp well with a stiff brush1 while dry4 ,then wash with castile soap1 and rub into the roots bay rum1 brandy or camphor water4 ,this done twice a month will prove beneficial4 ,brush the scalp thoroughly twice a week4 ,dampen the hair with soft water at the toilet1 and do not use oil4 #d4 ,,hair ,,wash4--,take one ounce of borax1 half an ounce of camphor powder--these ingredients fine--and dissolve them in one quart of boiling water4 ,when cool1 the solution will be ready for use4 ,dampen the hair frequently4 ,this wash is said not only to cleanse and beautify1 but to strengthen the hair1 preserve the color and prevent baldness4 ,,another ,,excellent ,,wash4--,the best wash we know for cleansing and softening the hair is an egg beaten up and rubbed well into the hair1 and afterwards washed out with several washes of warm water4 #e4 ,,the ,,only ,,sensible ,,and ,,safe ,,hair ,,oil4--,the following is considered a most valuable preparation3 ,take of extract of yellow ,peruvian bark1 fifteen grains2 extract of rhatany root1 eight grains2 extract of burdoch root and oil of nutmegs 7fixed71 of each two drachms2 camphor 7dissolve with spirits of wine71 fifteen grains2 beef marrow1 two ounces2 best olive oil1 one ounce2 citron juice1 half a drachm2 aromatic essential oil1 as much as sufficient to render it fragrant2 mix and make into an ointment4 ,two drachms of bergamot1 and a few drops of attar of roses would suffice4 #f4 ,,hair ,,wash4--,a good hair wash is soap and water1 and the oftener it is applied the freer the surface of the head will be from scurf4 ,the hair-brush should also be kept in requisition morning and evening4 #g4 ,,to ,,remove ,,superfluous ,,hair4--,with those who dislike the use of arsenic1 the following is used for removing superfluous hair from the skin3 ,lime1 one ounce2 carbonate of potash1 two ounces2 charcoal powder1 one drachm4 ,for use1 make it into a paste with a little warm water1 and apply it to the part1 previously shaved close4 ,as soon as it has become thoroughly dry1 it may be washed off with a little warm water4 #h4 ,,coloring ,,for ,,eyelashes ,,and ,,eyebrows4--,in eyelashes the chief element of beauty consists in their being long and glossy2 the eyebrows should be finely arched and clearly divided from each other4 ,the most innocent darkener of the brow is the expressed juice of the elderberry1 or a burnt clove4 ,illustration3 ,,japanese ,,mousine ,,making ,,her ,,toilet4 #i4 ,,crimping ,,hair4--,to make the hair stay in crimps1 take five cents worth of gum arabic and add to it just enough boiling water to dissolve it4 ,when dissolved1 add enough alcohol to make it rather thin4 ,let this stand all night and then bottle it to prevent the alcohol from evaporating4 ,this put on the hair at night1 after it is done up in papers or pins1 will make it stay in crimp the hottest day1 and is perfectly harmless4 #aj4 ,,to ,,curl ,,the ,,hair4--,there is no preparation that will make naturally straight hair assume a permanent curl4 ,the following will keep the hair in curl for a short time3 ,take borax1 two ounces2 gum arabic1 one drachm2 and hot water1 not boiling1 one quart2 stir1 and1 as soon as the ingredients are dissolved1 add three tablespoonfuls of strong spirits of camphor4 ,on retiring to rest1 wet the hair with the above liquid1 and roll in twists of paper as usual4 ,do not disturb the hair until morning1 when untwist and form into ringlets4 #aa4 ,,for ,,falling ,,or ,,loosening ,,of ,,the ,,hair4--,take3 ,alcohol1 a half pint4 ,salt1 as much as will dissolve4 ,glycerine1 a tablespoonful4 ,flour of sulphur1 teaspoonful4 ,mix4 ,rub on the scalp every morning4 #ab4 ,,to ,,darken ,,the ,,hair ,,without ,,bad ,,effects4--,take3 ,blue vitriol 7powdered71 one drachm4 ,alcohol1 one ounce4 ,essence of roses1 ten drops4 ,rain-water1 a half-pint4 ,shake together until they are thoroughly dissolved4 #ac4 ,,gray ,,hair4--,there are no known means by which the hair can be prevented from turning gray1 and none which can restore it to its original hue1 except through the process of dyeing4 ,the numerous hair color restorers which are advertised are chemical preparations which act in the manner of a dye or as a paint1 and are nearly always dependent for their power on the presence of lead4 ,this mineral1 applied to the skin1 for a long time1 will lead to the most disastrous maladies--lead-palsy1 lead colic1 and other symptoms of poisoning4 ,it should1 therefore1 never be used for this purpose4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,cure ,,pimples ,,or ,,other ,,facial ,,eruptions4 #a4 ,it requires self-denial to get rid of pimples1 for persons troubled with them will persist in eating fat meats and other articles of food calculated to produce them4 ,avoid the use of rich gravies1 or pastry1 or anything of the kind in excess4 ,take all the out-door exercise you can and never indulge in a late supper4 ,retire at a reasonable hour1 and rise early in the morning4 ,sulphur to purify the blood may be taken three times a week--a thimbleful in a glass of milk before breakfast4 ,it takes some time for the sulphur to do its work1 therefore persevere in its use till the humors1 or pimples1 or blotches1 disappear4 ,avoid getting wet while taking the sulphur4 #b4 ,,try ,,this ,,recipe3 ,wash the face twice a day in warm water1 and rub dry with a coarse towel4 ,then with a soft towel rub in a lotion made of two ounces of white brandy1 one ounce of cologne1 and one-half ounce of liquor potasse4 ,persons subject to skin eruptions should avoid very salty or fat food4 ,a dose of ,epsom salts occasionally might prove beneficial4 #c4 ,wash the face in a dilution of carbolic acid1 allowing one teaspoonful to a pint of water4 ,this is an excellent and purifying lotion1 and may be used on the most delicate skins4 ,be careful about letting this wash get into the eyes4 #d4 ,oil of sweet almonds1 one ounce2 fluid potash1 one drachm4 ,shake well together1 and then add rose water1 one ounce2 pure water1 six ounces4 ,mix4 ,rub the pimples or blotches for some minutes with a rough towel1 and then dab them with the lotion4 #e4 ,dissolve one ounce of borax1 and sponge the face with it every night4 ,when there are insects1 rub on flower of sulphur1 dry after washing1 rub well and wipe dry2 use plenty of castile soap4 #f4 ,dilute corrosive sublimate with oil of almonds4 ,a few days' application will remove them4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,black-,,heads ,,and ,,flesh ,,worms4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,regular ,,flesh ,,worm ,,greatly ,,magnified4 ,this is a minute little creature1 scientifically called ,demodex folliculorum1 hardly visible to the naked eye1 with comparatively large fore body1 a more slender hind body and eight little stumpy processes that do duty as legs4 ,no specialized head is visible1 although of course there is a mouth orifice4 ,these creatures live on the sweat glands or pores of the human face1 and owing to the appearance that they give to the infested pores1 they are usually known as black-heads4 ,it is not at all uncommon to see an otherwise pretty face disfigured by these ugly creatures1 although the insects themselves are nearly transparent white4 ,the black appearance is really due the accumulation of dirt which gets under the edges of the skin of the enlarged sweat glands and cannot be removed in the ordinary way by washing1 because the abnormal1 hardened secretion of the gland itself becomes stained4 ,these insects are so lowly organized that it is almost impossible to satisfactory deal with them and they sometimes cause the continual festering of the skin which they inhabit4 ,,remedy4--,press them out with a hollow key or with the thumb and fingers1 and apply a mixture of sulphur and cream every evening4 ,wash every morning with the best toilet soap1 or wash the face with hot water with a soft flannel at bedtime4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,healthy ,,complexion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,love4 ,but there's nothing half so sweet in life ,as love's young dream4--,,moore4 ,all love is sweet1 ,given or returned4 ,common as light is love1 ,and its familiar voice wearies not ever4--,,shelley4 ,doubt thou the stars are fire1 ,doubt that the sun doth move2 ,doubt truth to be a liar1 ,but never doubt ,i love4--,,shakespeare4 ,let those love now who never loved before1 ,let those that always loved now love the more4 #a4 ,,love ,,blends ,,young ,,hearts4--,love blends young hearts in blissful unity1 and1 for the time1 so ignores past ties and affections1 as to make willing separation of the son from his father's house1 and the daughter from all the sweet endearments of her childhood's home1 to go out together and rear for themselves an altar1 around which shall cluster all the cares and delights1 the anxieties and sympathies1 of the family relationship2 this love1 if pure1 unselfish1 and discreet1 constitutes the chief usefulness and happiness of human life4 #b4 ,,without ,,love4--,without love there would be no organized households1 and1 consequently1 none of that earnest endeavor for competence and respectability1 which is the mainspring to human effort2 none of those sweet1 softening1 restraining and elevating influences of domestic life1 which can alone fill the earth with the glory of the ,lord and make glad the city of ,zion4 ,this love is indeed heaven upon earth2 but above would not be heaven without it2 where there is not love1 there is fear2 but1 love casteth out fear4 ,and yet we naturally do offend what we most love4 #c4 ,,love ,,is ,,the ,,sun ,,of ,,life4--,most beautiful in morning and evening1 but warmest and steadiest at noon4 ,it is the sun of the soul4 ,life without love is worse than death2 a world without a sun4 ,the love which does not lead to labor will soon die out1 and the thankfulness which does not embody itself in sacrifices is already changing to gratitude4 ,love is not ripened in one day1 nor in many1 nor even in a human lifetime4 ,it is the oneness of soul with soul in appreciation and perfect trust4 ,to be blessed it must rest in that faith in the ,divine which underlies every other motion4 ,to be true1 it must be eternal as ,god himself4 #d4 ,,love ,,is ,,dependent4--,remember that love is dependent upon forms2 courtesy of etiquette guards and protects courtesy of heart4 ,how many hearts have been lost irrevocably1 and how many averted eyes and cold looks have been gained from what seemed1 perhaps1 but a trifling negligence of forms4 ,illustration3 ,,age ,,counseling ,,youth4 #e4 ,,radical ,,differences4--,men and women should not be judged by the same rules4 ,there are many radical differences in their affectional natures4 ,man is the creature of interest and ambition4 ,his nature leads him forth into the struggle and bustle of the world4 ,love is but the embellishment of his early life1 or a song piped in the intervals of the acts4 ,he seeks for fame1 for fortune1 for space in the world's thoughts1 and dominion over his fellow-men4 ,but a woman's whole life is a history of the affections4 ,the heart is her world2 it is there her ambition strives for empire2 it is there her ambition seeks for hidden treasures4 ,she sends forth her sympathies on adventure2 she embarks her whole soul in the traffic of affection2 and if shipwrecked her case is hopeless1 for it is bankruptcy of the heart4 #f4 ,,woman',s ,,love4--,woman's love is stronger than death2 it rises superior to adversity1 and towers in sublime beauty above the niggardly selfishness of the world4 ,misfortune cannot suppress it2 enmity cannot alienate it2 temptation cannot enslave it4 ,it is the guardian angel of the nursery and the sick bed2 it gives an affectionate concord to the partnership of life and interest1 circumstances cannot modify it2 it ever remains the same to sweeten existence1 to purify the cup of life1 on the rugged pathway to the grave1 and melt to moral pliability the brittle nature of man4 ,it is the ministering spirit of home1 hovering in soothing caresses over the cradle1 and the death-bed of the household1 and filling up the urn of all its sacred memories4 #g4 ,a ,,lady',s ,,complexion4--,he who loves a lady's complexion1 form and features1 loves not her true self1 but her soul's old clothes4 ,the love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it1 soon withers and dies4 ,the love that is fed with presents always requires feeding4 ,love1 and love only1 is the loan for love4 ,love is of the nature of a burning glass1 which1 kept still in one place1 fireth2 changed often1 it doth nothing4 ,the purest joy we can experience in one we love1 is to see that person a source of happiness to others4 ,when you are with the person loved1 you have no sense of being bored4 ,this humble and trivial circumstance is the great test--the only sure and abiding test of love4 #h4 ,,two ,,souls ,,come ,,together4--,when two souls come together1 each seeking to magnify the other1 each in subordinate sense worshiping the other1 each help the other2 the two flying together so that each wing-beat of the one helps each wing-beat of the other--when two souls come together thus1 they are lovers4 ,they who unitedly move themselves away from grossness and from earth1 toward the throne of crystaline and the pavement golden1 are1 indeed1 true lovers4 ,illustration3 ,,love ,,making ,,in ,,the ,,early ,,colonial ,,days4 ,illustration3 ,,cupid',s ,,captured ,,victim4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,power ,,and ,,peculiarities ,,of ,,love4 ,,love ,,is ,a ,,tonic ,,and ,a ,,remedy ,,for ,,disease1 ,,makes ,,people ,,look ,,younger1 ,,creates ,,industry1 ,,etc4 ,all thoughts1 all passions1 all desires4 ,whatever stirs this mortal frame1 ,are ministers of ,love1 ,and feed his sacred flame4 #a4 ,it is a physiological fact long demonstrated that persons possessing a loving disposition borrow less of the cares of life1 and also live much longer than persons with a strong1 narrow and selfish nature4 ,persons who love scenery1 love domestic animals1 show great attachment for all friends2 love their home dearly and find interest and enchantment in almost everything have qualities of mind and heart which indicate good health and a happy disposition4 #b4 ,persons who love music and are constantly humming or whistling a tune1 are persons that need not be feared1 they are kind-hearted and with few exceptions possess a loving disposition4 ,very few good musicians become criminals4 #c4 ,parents that cultivate a love among their children will find that the same feeling will soon be manifested in their children's disposition4 ,sunshine in the hearts of the parents will blossom in the lives of the children4 ,the parent who continually cherishes a feeling of dislike and rebellion in his soul1 cultivating moral hatred against his fellow-man1 will soon find the same things manifested by his son4 ,as the son resembles his father in looks so he will to a certain extent resemble him in character4 ,love in the heart of the parent will beget kindness and affection in the heart of a child4 ,continuous scolding and fretting in the home will soon make love a stranger4 #d4 ,if you desire to cultivate love1 create harmony in all your feelings and faculties4 ,remember that all that is pure1 holy and virtuous in love flows from the deepest fountain of the human soul4 ,poison the fountain and you change virtue to vice1 and happiness to misery4 #e4 ,love strengthens health1 and disappointment cultivates disease4 ,a person in love will invariably enjoy the best of health4 ,ninety-nine per cent4 of our strong constitutioned men1 now in physical ruin1 have wrecked themselves on the breakers of an unnatural love4 ,nothing but right love and a right marriage will restore them to health4 #f4 ,all men feel much better for going a courting1 providing they court purely4 ,nothing tears the life out of man more than lust1 vulgar thoughts and immoral conduct4 ,the libertine or harlot has changed love1 ,god's purest gift to man1 into lust4 ,they cannot acquire love in its purity again1 the sacred flame has vanished forever4 ,love is pure1 and cannot be found in the heart of a seducer4 #g4 ,a woman is never so bright and full of health as when deeply in love4 ,many sickly and frail women are snatched from the clutches of some deadly disease and restored to health by falling in love4 #h4 ,it is a long established fact that married persons are healthier than unmarried persons2 thus it proves that health and happiness belong to the home4 ,health depends upon mind4 ,love places the mind into a delightful state and quickens every human function1 makes the blood circulate and weaves threads of joy into cables of domestic love4 #i4 ,an old but true proverb3 ,a true man loving one woman will speak well of all women4 ,a true woman loving one man will speak well of all men4 ,a good wife praises all men1 but praises her husband most4 ,a good man praises all women1 but praises his wife most4 #aj4 ,persons deeply in love become peculiarly pleasant1 winning and tender4 ,it is said that a musician can never excel or an artist do his best until he has been deeply in love4 ,a good orator1 a great statesman or great men in general are greater and better for having once been thoroughly in love4 ,a man who truly loves his wife and home is always a safe man to trust4 #aa4 ,love makes people look younger in years4 ,people in unhappy homes look older and more worn and fatigued4 ,a woman at thirty1 well courted and well married1 looks five or ten years younger than a woman of the same age unhappily married4 ,old maids and bachelors always look older than they are4 ,a flirting widow always looks younger than an old maid of like age4 #ab4 ,love renders women industrious and frugal1 and a loving husband spends lavishly on a loved wife and children1 though miserly towards others4 #ac4 ,love cultivates self-respect and produces beauty4 ,beauty in walk and beauty in looks2 a girl in love is at her best2 it brings out the finest traits of her character1 she walks more erect and is more generous and forgiving2 her voice is sweeter and she makes happy all about her4 ,she works better1 sings better and is better4 #ad4 ,now in conclusion1 a love marriage is the best life insurance policy2 it pays dividends every day1 while every other insurance policy merely promises to pay after death4 ,remember that statistics demonstrate that married people outlive old maids and old bachelors by a goodly number of years and enjoy healthier and happier lives4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,turkish ,,way ,,of ,,making ,,love ,illustration3 ,,preparing ,,to ,,entertain ,,her ,,lover4 ,illustration3 ,,confidence4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,amativeness ,,or ,,connubial ,,love4 #a4 ,,multiplying ,,the ,,race4--,some means for multiplying our race is necessary to prevent its extinction by death4 ,propagation and death appertain to man's earthly existence4 ,if the ,deity had seen fit to bring every member of the human family into being by a direct act of creative power1 without the agency of parents1 the present wise and benevolent arrangements of husbands and wives1 parents and children1 friends and neighbors1 would have been superseded1 and all opportunities for exercising parental and connubial love1 in which so much enjoyment is taken1 cut off4 ,but the domestic feelings and relations1 as now arranged1 must strike every philosophical observer as inimitably beautiful and perfect--as the offspring of infinite ,wisdom and ,goodness combined4 #b4 ,,amativeness ,,and ,,its ,,combinations constitute their origin1 counterpart1 and main medium of manifestation4 ,its primary function is connubial love4 ,from it1 mainly1 spring those feelings which exist between the sexes as such and result in marriage and offspring4 ,combined with the higher sentiments1 it gives rise to all those reciprocal kind feelings and nameless courtesies which each sex manifests towards the other2 refining and elevating both1 promoting gentility and politeness1 and greatly increasing social and general happiness4 #c4 ,,renders ,,men ,,more ,,polite ,,to ,,women4--,so far from being in the least gross or indelicate1 its proper exercise is pure1 chaste1 virtuous1 and even an ingredient in good manners4 ,it is this which renders men always more polite towards women than to one another1 and more refined in their society1 and which makes women more kind1 grateful1 genteel and tender towards men than women4 ,it makes mothers love their sons more than their daughters1 and fathers more attached to their daughters4 ,man's endearing recollections of his mother or wife form his most powerful incentives to virtue1 study1 and good deeds1 as well as restraints upon his vicious inclinations2 and1 in proportion as a young man is dutiful and affectionate to his mother1 will he be fond of his wife2 for1 this faculty is the parent of both4 #d4 ,,all ,,should ,,cultivate ,,the ,,faculty ,,of ,,amativeness ,,or ,,connubial ,,love4--,study the personal charms and mental accomplishments of the other sex by ardent admirers of beautiful forms1 and study graceful movements and elegant manners1 and remember1 much depends upon the tones and accents of the voice4 ,never be gruff if you desire to be winning4 ,seek and enjoy and reciprocate fond looks and feelings4 ,before you can create favorable impressions you must first be honest and sincere and natural1 and your conquest will be sure and certain4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,love ,,and ,,common-,,sense4 #a4 ,do not love her because she goes to the altar with her head full of book learning1 her hands of no earthly use1 save for the piano and brush2 because she has no conception of the duties and responsibilities of a wife2 because she hates housework1 hates its everlasting routine and ever recurring duties2 because she hates children and will adopt every means to evade motherhood2 because she loves her ease1 loves to have her will supreme1 loves1 oh how well1 to be free to go and come1 to let the days slip idly by1 to be absolved from all responsibility1 to live without labor1 without care8 ,will you love her selfish1 shirking1 calculating nature after twenty years of close companionship8 #b4 ,do you love him because he is a man1 and therefore1 no matter how weak mentally1 morally or physically he may be1 he has vested in him the power to save you from the ignominy of an old maid's existence8 ,because you would rather be ,mrs4 ,nobody1 than make the effort to be ,miss ,somebody8 because you have a great empty place in your head and heart that nothing but a man can fill8 because you feel you cannot live without him8 ,god grant the time may never come when you cannot live with him4 #c4 ,do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly woman2 for her tender sympathetic nature2 for the jewels of her life1 which are absolute purity of mind and heart2 for the sweet sincerity of her disposition2 for her loving1 charitable thought2 for her strength of character8 because she is pitiful to the sinful1 tender to the sorrowful1 capable1 self-reliant1 modest1 true-hearted8 in brief1 because she is the embodiment of all womanly virtues8 #d4 ,do you love him because he is a manly man2 because the living and operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women2 because his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature2 because he has never soiled his soul with an unholy act or his lips with an oath2 because mentally he is a man among men2 because physically he stands head and shoulders above the masses2 because morally he is far beyond suspicion1 in his thought1 word or deed8 because his earnest manly consecrated life is a mighty power on ,god's side8 #e4 ,but there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages until men learn what husbandhood means2 how to care for that tenderly matured1 delicately constituted being1 that he takes into his care and keeping4 ,that if her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed and overburdened1 her happiness1 which is largely dependent upon her health1 is destroyed4 #f4 ,until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their heart2 until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks eloquently of clean thoughts and clean hearts4 #g4 ,until men and women recognize that self-control in a man1 and modesty in a woman1 will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded life will only strengthen4 ,until they recognize that love is the purest and holiest of all things known to humanity1 will marriage continue to bring unhappiness and discontent1 instead of that comfort and restful peace which all loyal souls have a right to expect and enjoy4 #h4 ,be sensible and marry a sensible1 honest and industrious companion1 and happiness through life will be your reward4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,caller4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,what ,,women ,,love ,,in ,,men4 #a4 ,women naturally love courage1 force and firmness in men4 ,the ideal man in a woman's eye must be heroic and brave4 ,woman naturally despises a coward1 and she has little or no respect for a bashful man4 #b4 ,woman naturally loves her lord and master4 ,women who desperately object to be overruled1 nevertheless admire men who overrule them1 and few women would have any respect for a man whom they could completely rule and control4 #c4 ,man is naturally the protector of woman2 as the male wild animal of the forest protects the female1 so it is natural for man to protect his wife and children1 and therefore woman admires those qualities in a man which make him a protector4 #d4 ,,large ,,men4--,women naturally love men of strength1 size and fine physique1 a tall1 large and strong man rather than a short1 small and weak man4 ,a woman always pities a weakly man1 but rarely ever has any love for him4 #e4 ,,small ,,and ,,weakly ,,men4--,all men would be of good size in frame and flesh1 were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the indiscretion of parents and ancestors of generations before4 #f4 ,,youthful ,,sexual ,,excitement4--,there are many children born healthy and vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs in youth by self-abuse1 and if they survive and marry1 their children will have small bones1 small frames and sickly constitutions4 ,it is therefore not strange that instinct should lead women to admire men not touched with these symptoms of physical debility4 #g4 ,,generosity4--,woman generally loves a generous man4 ,religion absorbs a great amount of money in temples1 churches1 ministerial salaries1 etc41 and ambition and appetite absorb countless millions1 yet woman receives more gifts from man than all these combined3 she loves a generous giver4 ,generosity and ,gallantry are the jewels which she most admires4 ,a woman receiving presents from a man implies that she will pay him back in love1 and the woman who accepts a man's presents1 and does not respect him1 commits a wrong which is rarely ever forgiven4 #h4 ,,intelligence4--,above all other qualities in man1 woman admires his intelligence4 ,intelligence is man's woman captivating card4 ,this character in woman is illustrated by an ,english army officer1 as told by ,o4,s4 ,fowler1 betrothed in marriage to a beautiful1 loving heiress1 summoned to ,india1 who wrote back to her3 ,i have lost an eye1 a leg1 an arm1 and been so badly marred and begrimmed besides1 that you never could love this poor1 maimed soldier4 ,yet1 ,i love you too well to make your life wretched by requiring you to keep your marriage-vow with me1 from which ,i hereby release you4 ,find among ,english peers one physically more perfect1 whom you can love better4 ,she answered1 as all genuine women must answer3 ,your noble mind1 your splendid talents1 your martial prowess which maimed you1 are what ,i love4 ,as long as you retain sufficient body to contain the casket of your soul1 which alone is what ,i admire1 ,i love you all the same1 and long to make you mine forever4 #i4 ,,soft ,,men4--,all women despise soft and silly men more than all other defects in their character4 ,woman never can love a man whose conversation is flat and insipid4 ,every man seeking woman's appreciation or love should always endeavor to show his intelligence and manifest an interest in books and daily papers4 ,he should read books and inform himself so that he can talk intelligently upon the various topics of the day4 ,even an ignorant woman always loves superior intelligence4 #aj4 ,,sexual ,,vigor4--,women love sexual vigor in men4 ,this is human nature4 ,weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children1 though the mother may be strong and robust4 ,a weak mother often bears strong children1 if the father is physically and sexually vigorous4 ,consumption is often inherited from fathers1 because they furnish the body1 yet more women die with it because of female obstructions4 ,hence women love passion in men1 because it endows their offspring with strong functional vigor4 #aa4 ,,passionate ,,men--,the less passion any woman possesses1 the more she prizes a strong passionate man4 ,this is a natural consequence1 for if she married one equally passionless1 their children would be poorly endowed or they would have none2 she therefore admires him who makes up the deficiency4 ,hence very amorous men prefer quiet1 modest and reserved women4 #ab4 ,,homely ,,men are admired by women if they are large1 strong and vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence4 ,looks are trifles compared with the other qualities which man may possess4 #ac4 ,,young ,,man1 ,if you desire to win the love and admiration of young ladies1 first1 be intelligent2 read books and papers2 remember what you read1 so you can talk about it4 ,second1 be generous and do not show a stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies4 ,third1 be sensible1 original1 and have opinions of your own and do not agree with everything that someone else says1 or agree with everything that a lady may say4 ,ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent discussions and conversations when there is someone to talk with who has an opinion of his own4 ,woman despises a man who has no opinion of his own2 she hates a trifling disposition and admires leadership1 original ideas1 and looks up to man as a leader4 ,women despise all men whom they can manage1 overrule1 cow-down and subdue4 #ad4 ,,be ,,self-,,supporting4--,the young man who gives evidence of thrift is always in demand4 ,be enthusiastic and drive with success all that you undertake4 ,a young man1 sober1 honest and industrious1 holding a responsible position or having a business of his own1 is a prize that some bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw4 ,woman admires a certainty4 #ae4 ,,uniformed ,,men4--,it is a well known fact that women love uniformed men4 ,the soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction and it is said by good authority that a man in uniform has three more chances to marry than the man without uniform4 ,the correct reason is1 the soldier's profession is bravery1 and he is dressed and trained for that purpose1 and it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather than the uniform which he wears4 ,his profession is also that of a protector4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,what ,,men ,,love ,,in ,,women4 #a4 ,,female ,,beauty4--,men love beautiful women1 for woman's beauty is the highest type of all beauty4 ,a handsome woman needs no diamonds1 no silks or satins2 her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is beautiful in calico4 #b4 ,,false ,,beautifiers4--,man's love of female beauty surpasses all other love1 and whatever artificial means are used to beautify1 to a certain extent are falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike4 ,artificial beauty is always an imitation1 and never can come into competition with the genuine4 ,no art can successfully imitate nature4 #c4 ,,true ,,kind ,,of ,,beauty4--,facial beauty is only skin deep4 ,a beautiful form1 a graceful figure1 graceful movements and a kind heart are the strongest charms in the perfection of female beauty4 ,a brilliant face always outshines what may be called a pretty face1 for intelligence is that queenly grace which crowns woman's influence over men4 ,good looks and good and pure conduct awaken a man's love for women4 ,a girl must therefore be charming as well as beautiful1 for a charming girl will never become a charmless wife4 #d4 ,a ,,good ,,female ,,body4--,no weakly1 poor-bodied woman can draw a man's love like a strong1 well developed body4 ,a round1 plump figure with an overflow of animal life is the woman most commonly sought1 for nature in man craves for the strong qualities in women1 as the health and life of offspring depend upon the physical qualities of wife and mother4 ,a good body and vigorous health1 therefore1 become indispensable to female beauty4 #e4 ,,broad ,,hips4--,a woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and significant appearance1 while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak sexuality4 ,the other portions of the body however must be in harmony with the size and breadth of the hips4 #f4 ,,full ,,busts4--,in the female beauty of physical development there is nothing that can equal full breasts4 ,it is an indication of good health and good maternal qualities4 ,as a face looks bad without a nose1 so the female breast1 when narrow and flat1 produces a bad effect4 ,the female breasts are the means on which a new-born child depends for its life and growth1 hence it is an essential human instinct for men to admire those physical proportions in women which indicate perfect motherhood4 ,cotton and all other false forms simply show the value of natural ones4 ,all false forms are easily detected1 because large natural ones will generally quiver and move at every step1 while the artificial ones will manifest no expression of life4 ,as woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and puffings than she does without1 therefore modern society should waive all objections to their use4 ,a full breast has been man's admiration through all climes and ages1 and whether this breast-loving instinct is right or wrong1 sensible or sensual1 it is a fact well known to all1 that it is a great disappointment to a husband and father to see his child brought up on a bottle4 ,men love full breasts1 because it promotes maternity4 ,if1 however1 the breasts are abnormally large1 it indicates maternal deficiency the same as any disproportion or extreme4 #g4 ,,small ,,feet4--,small feet and small ankles are very attractive1 because they are in harmony with a perfect female form1 and men admire perfection4 ,small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve1 while large feet and ankles indicate coarseness1 physical power1 authority1 predominance4 ,feet and ankles however must be in harmony with the body1 as small feet and small ankles on a large woman would be out of proportion and consequently not beautiful4 #h4 ,,beautiful ,,arms4--,as the arm is always in proportion with the other portions of the body1 consequently a well-shaped arm1 small hands and small wrists1 with full muscular development1 is a charm and beauty not inferior to the face itself1 and those who have well-shaped arms may be proud of them1 because they generally keep company with a fine bust and a fine figure4 #i4 ,,intelligence4--,a mother must naturally possess intelligence1 in order to rear her children intelligently1 consequently it is natural for man to chiefly admire mental qualities in women1 for utility and practicability depend upon intelligence4 ,therefore a man generally loves those charms in women which prepare her for the duties of companionship4 ,if a woman desires to be loved1 she must cultivate her intellectual gifts1 be interesting and entertaining in society1 and practical and helpful in the home1 for these are some of the qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty4 #aj4 ,,piety ,,and ,,religion ,,in ,,women4--,men who love home and the companionship of their wives1 love truth1 honor and honesty4 ,it is this higher moral development that naturally leads them to admire women of moral and religious natures4 ,it is therefore not strange that immoral men love moral and church-loving wives4 ,man naturally admires the qualities which tend to the correct government of the home4 ,men want good and pure children1 and it is natural to select women who insure domestic contentment and happiness4 ,a bad man1 of course1 does not deserve a good wife1 yet he will do his utmost to get one4 #aa4 ,,false ,,appearance4--,men love reserved1 coy and discreet women much more than blunt1 shrewd and boisterous4 ,falsehood1 false hair1 false curls1 false forms1 false bosoms1 false colors1 false cheeks1 and all that is false1 men naturally dislike1 for in themselves they are a poor foundation on which to form family ties1 consequently duplicity and hypocrisy in women is very much disliked by men1 but a frank1 honest1 conscientious soul is always lovable and lovely and will not become an old maid1 except as a matter of choice and not of necessity4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,history ,,of ,,marriage4 #a4 ,it is not good for man to be alone1 was the ,divine judgment1 and so ,god created for him an helpmate2 therefore sex is as ,divine as the soul4 #b4 ,,polygamy4--,polygamy has existed in all ages4 ,it is and always has been the result of moral degradation and wantonness4 #c4 ,,the ,,garden ,,of ,,eden4--,the ,garden of ,eden was no harem4 ,primeval nature knew no community of love2 there was only the union of two souls1 and the twain were made one flesh4 ,if ,god had intended man to be a polygamist he would have created for him two or more wives2 but he only created one wife for the first man4 ,he also directed ,noah to take into the ark two of each sort--a male and female--another evidence that ,god believed in pairs only4 #d4 ,,abraham no doubt was a polygamist1 and the general history of patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage were national customs1 and not the institutions authorized by ,god4 #e4 ,,egyptian ,,history4--,egyptian history1 in the first ostensible form we have1 shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice4 #f4 ,,solomon4--,it is not strange that ,solomon1 with his thousand wives1 exclaimed3 ,all is vanity and vexation of spirit4 ,polygamy is not the natural state of man4 #g4 ,,concubinage ,,and ,,polygamy continued till the fifth century1 when the degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some concern and recognition4 ,before this woman was regarded simply as an instrument of procreation1 or a mistress of the household1 to gratify the passions of man4 #h4 ,,the ,,chinese marriage system was1 and is1 practically polygamous1 for from their earliest traditions we learn1 although a man could have but one wife1 he was permitted to have as many concubines as he desired4 #i4 ,,mohammedanism4--,of the #aej1jjj1jjj ,mohammedans all are polygamists4 ,their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities1 and the voluptuous character of the ,orientals has penetrated western ,europe and ,africa4 #aj4 ,,mormonism4--,the ,mormon ,church1 founded by ,joseph ,smith1 practiced polygamy until the beginning of #ahic1 when the church formally declared and resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their religious institution4 ,yet all ,mormons are polygamists at heart4 ,it is a part of their religion2 national law alone restrains them4 #aa4 ,,free ,,lovers4--,there is located at ,lenox1 ,madison ,county1 ,new ,york1 an organization popularly known as ,free ,lovers4 ,the members advocate a system of complex marriage1 a sort of promiscuity1 with a freedom of love for any and all4 ,man offers woman support and love2 woman enjoying freedom1 self-respect1 health1 personal and mental competency1 gives herself to man in the boundless sincerity of an unselfish union4 ,in their system1 love is made synonymous with sexuality1 and there is no doubt1 but what woman is only a plaything to gratify animal caprice4 #ab4 ,,monogamy 7,,single ,,wife71 is a law of nature evident from the fact that it fulfills the three essential conditions of man1 viz43 the development of the individual1 the welfare of society and reproduction4 ,in no nation with a system of polygamy do we find a code of political and moral rights1 and the condition of woman is that of a slave4 ,in polygamous countries nothing is added to the education and civilization4 ,the natural tendency is sensualism1 and sensualism tends to mental starvation4 #ah4 ,,christian ,,civilization has lifted woman from slavery to liberty4 ,wherever ,christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages1 pure homes and education4 ,may ,god bless the purity of the home4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,marriage4 ,thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure1 ,married in haste we may repent at leisure4 --,,shakespeare ,the parties are wedded4 ,the priest or clergyman has pronounced as one those hearts that before beat in unison with each other4 ,the assembled guests congratulate the happy pair4 ,the fair bride has left her dear mother bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would break1 and as if the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive against her will4 ,they enter the carriage4 ,it drives off on the wedding tour1 and his arms encircles the yielding waist of her now all his own1 while her head reclines on the breast of the man of her choice4 ,if she be young and has married an old man1 she will be sad4 ,if she has married for a home1 or position1 or wealth1 a pang will shoot across her fair bosom4 ,if she has married without due consideration or on too light an acquaintance1 it will be her sorrow before long4 ,but1 if loving and beloved1 she has united her destiny with a worthy man1 she will rejoice1 and on her journey feel a glow of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often renewed1 and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial spring4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,advantages ,,of ,,wedlock4 ',tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark1 ,bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home ',tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark ,our coming1 and look brighter when we come4 ,,byron1 ,,don ,,juan #a4 ,marriage is the natural state of man and woman4 ,matrimony greatly contributes to the wealth and health of man4 #b4 ,circumstances may compel a man not to select a companion until late in life4 ,many may have parents or relatives1 dependent brothers and sisters to care for1 yet family ties are cultivated2 notwithstanding the home is without a wife4 #c4 ,in ,christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to the health of man4 ,marriage in barbarous countries1 where little or no marriage ceremonies are required1 benefits man but little4 ,there can be no true domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the select and married companion4 ,all the licentiousness and lust of a libertine1 whether civilized or uncivilized1 bring him only unrest and premature decay4 #d4 ,a man1 however1 may be married and not mated1 and consequently reap trouble and unhappiness4 ,a young couple should first carefully learn each other by making the courtship a matter of business1 and sufficiently long that the disposition and temper of each may be thoroughly exposed and understood4 #e4 ,first see that there is love2 secondly1 that there is adaptation2 thirdly1 see that there are no physical defects1 and if these conditions are properly considered1 cupid will go with you4 #f4 ,the happiest place on all earth is home4 ,a loving wife and lovely children are jewels without price1 as ,payne says3 ',mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam4 ,be it ever so humble1 there's no place like home4 #g4 ,reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system4 ,the elasticity of the muscles is increased1 the circulation is quickened1 and every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity by a happy marriage4 #h4 ,the consummation desired by all who experience this affection1 is the union of souls in a true marriage4 ,whatever of beauty or romance there may have been in the lover's dream1 is enhanced and spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life4 ,the crown of wifehood and maternity is purer1 more divine than that of the maiden4 ,passion is lost--emotions predominate4 #i4 ,,too ,,early ,,marriages4--,too early marriage is always bad for the female4 ,if a young girl marries1 her system is weakened and a full development of her body is prevented1 and the dangers of confinement are considerably increased4 #aj4 ,boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the connubial state4 ,they are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of the vitality and power of strength and physical endurance4 #aa4 ,,long ,,life4--,statistics show that married men live longer than bachelors4 ,child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity4 #ab4 ,,complexion4--,marriage purifies the complexion1 removes blotches from the skin1 invigorates the body1 fills up the tones of the voice1 gives elasticity and firmness to the step1 and brings health and contentment to old age4 #ac4 ,,temptations ,,removed4--,marriage sanctifies a home1 while adultery and libertinism produce unrest1 distrust and misery4 ,it must be remembered that a married man can practice the most absolute continence and enjoy a far better state of health than the licentious man4 ,the comforts of companionship develop purity and give rest to the soul4 #ad4 ,,total ,,abstention4--,it is no doubt difficult for some men to fully abstain from sexual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind4 ,the great majority of men experience frequent strong sexual desire4 ,abstention is very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and untamable desires which require an iron will to banish or control4 ,the hermit in his seclusion1 or the monk in his retreat1 are often flushed with these passions and trials4 ,it is1 however1 natural2 for remove these passions and man would be no longer a man4 ,it is evident that the natural state of man is that of marriage2 and he who avoids that state is not in harmony with the laws of his being4 ,illustration3 ,,an ,,algerian ,,bride4 #ae4 ,,prostitution4--,men who inherit strong passions easily argue themselves into the belief either to practice masturbation or visit places of prostitution1 on the ground that their health demands it4 ,though medical investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false1 yet many believe it4 ,the consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life and is the most holy and sacred right recognized by man1 and it is the ,balm of ,gilead for many ills4 ,masturbation or prostitution soon blight the brightest prospects a young man may have4 ,manhood is morality and purity of purpose1 not sensuality4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,disadvantages ,,of ,,celibacy4 #a4 ,to live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and many disadvantages4 ,the man who commits neither fornication1 adultery nor secret vice1 and is pure in mind1 surely has all the moral virtues that make a good man and a good citizen1 whether married or unmarried4 #b4 ,if a good pure-minded man does not marry1 he will suffer no serious loss of vital power2 there will be no tendency to spermatorrhoea or congestion1 nor will he be afflicted with any one of those ills which certain vicious writers and quacks would lead many people to believe4 ,celibacy is perfectly consistent with mental vigor and physical strength4 ,regularity in the habits of life will always have its good effects on the human body4 #c4 ,the average life of a married man is much longer than that of a bachelor4 ,there is quite an alarming odds in the ,united ,states in favor of a man with a family4 ,it is claimed that the married man lives on an average from five to twenty years longer than a bachelor4 ,the married man lives a more regular life4 ,he has his meals more regularly and is better nursed in sickness1 and in every way a happier and more contented man4 ,the happiness of wife and children will always add comfort and length of days to the man who is happily married4 #d4 ,it is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime committed1 more vices practiced1 and more immorality among single men than among married men4 ,let the young man be pure in heart like ,bunyan's ,pilgrim1 and he can pass the deadly dens1 the roaring lions1 and overcome the ravenous fires of passion1 unscathed4 ,the vices of single men support the most flagrant of evils of modern society1 hence let every young man beware and keep his body clean and pure4 ,his future happiness largely depends upon his chastity while a single man4 ,illustration3 ,,made ,,in ,u4,s4,a4 ,illustration3 ,i ,,will ,,never ,,marry4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,old ,,maids4 #a4 ,,modern ,,origin4--,the prejudice which certainly still exists in the average mind against unmarried women must be of comparatively modern origin4 ,from the earliest ages to ancient ,greece1 and ,rome particularly1 the highest honors were paid them4 ,they were the ministers of the old religions1 and regarded with superstitious awe4 #b4 ,,matrimony4--,since the reformation1 especially during the last century1 and in our own land1 matrimony has been so much esteemed1 notably by women1 that it has come to be regarded as in some sort discreditable for them to remain single4 ,old maids are mentioned on every hand with mingled pity and disdain1 arising no doubt from the belief1 conscious or unconscious1 that they would not be what they are if they could help it4 ,few persons have a good word for them as a class4 ,we are constantly hearing of lovely maidens1 charming wives1 buxom widows1 but almost never of attractive old maids4 #c4 ,,discarding ,,prejudice4--,the real old maid is like any other woman4 ,she has faults necessarily1 though not those commonly conceived of4 ,she is often plump1 pretty1 amiable1 interesting1 intellectual1 cultured1 warm-hearted1 benevolent1 and has ardent friends of both sexes4 ,these constantly wonder why she has not married1 for they feel that she must have had many opportunities4 ,some of them may know why2 she may have made them her confidantes4 ,she usually has a sentimental1 romantic1 frequently a sad and pathetic past1 of which she does not speak unless in the sacredness of intimacy4 #d4 ,,not ,,quarrelsome4--,she is not dissatisfied1 querulous nor envious4 ,on the contrary1 she is1 for the most part1 singularly content1 patient and serene1--more so than many wives who have household duties and domestic cares to tire and trouble them4 #e4 ,,remain ,,single ,,from ,,necessity4--,it is a stupid1 as well as a heinous mistake1 that women who remain single do so from necessity4 ,almost any woman can get a husband if she is so minded1 as daily observation attests4 ,when we see the multitudes of wives who have no visible signs of matrimonial recommendation1 why should we think that old maids have been totally neglected8 ,we may meet those who do not look inviting4 ,but we meet any number of wives who are even less inviting4 #f4 ,,first ,,offer4--,the appearance and outgiving of many wives denote that they have accepted the first offer2 the appearance and outgiving of many old maids that they have declined repeated offers4 ,it is undeniable1 that wives1 in the mass1 have no more charm than old maids have1 in the mass4 ,but1 as the majority of women are married1 they are no more criticised nor commented on1 in the bulk1 than the whole sex are4 ,they are spoken of individually as pretty or plain1 bright or dull1 pleasant or unpleasant2 while old maids are judged as a species1 and almost always unfavorable4 ,illustration3 ,i ,,have ,,changed ,,my ,,mind4 #g4 ,,becomes ,a ,,wife4--,many an old maid1 so-called1 unexpectedly to her associates becomes a wife1 some man of taste1 discernment and sympathy having induced her to change her state4 ,probably no other man of his kind has proposed before1 which accounts for her singleness4 ,after her marriage hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her charming1 thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine celibacy4 ,old maids in general1 it is fair to presume1 do not wait for opportunities1 but for proposers of an acceptable sort4 ,they may have1 indeed they are likely to have1 those1 but not to meet these4 #h4 ,,no ,,longer ,,marry ,,for ,,support4--,the time has changed and women have changed with it4 ,they have grown more sensible1 more independent in disposition as well as circumstances4 ,they no longer marry for support2 they have proved their capacity to support themselves1 and self-support has developed them in every way4 ,assured that they can get on comfortably and contentedly alone they are better adapted by the assurance for consortship4 ,they have rapidly increased from this and cognate causes1 and have so improved in person1 mind and character that an old maid of to-day is wholly different from an old maid of forty years ago4 ,illustration3 ,,convincing ,,his ,,wife4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,when ,,and ,,whom ,,to ,,marry4 #a4 ,,early ,,marriages4--,women too early married always remain small in stature1 weak1 pale1 emaciated1 and more or less miserable4 ,we have no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions1 therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves the responsibility1 by producing a weak and feeble generation of children4 ,it is better not to consummate a marriage until a full development of body and mind has taken place4 ,a young woman of twenty-one to twenty-five1 and a young man of twenty-three to twenty-eight1 are considered the right age in order to produce an intelligent and healthy offspring4 ,first make the tree good1 then shall the fruit be good also4 #b4 ,if marriage is delayed too long in either sex1 say from thirty to forty-five1 the offspring will often be puny and more liable to insanity1 idiocy1 and other maladies4 #c4 ,,puberty4--,this is the period when childhood passes from immaturity of the sexual functions to maturity4 ,woman attains this state a year or two sooner than man4 ,in the hotter climates the period of puberty is from twelve to fifteen years of age1 while in cold climates1 such as ,russia1 the ,united ,states1 and ,canada1 puberty is frequently delayed until the seventeenth year4 #d4 ,,diseased ,,parents4--,we do the race a serious wrong in multiplying the number of hereditary invalids4 ,whole families of children have fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and poor judgment of parents4 ,no young man in the vigor of health should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble constitution4 ,it only multiplies his own suffering1 and brings no material happiness to his invalid wife4 ,on the other hand1 no healthy1 vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man1 no matter how much she adored him1 who is not healthy and able to brave the hardships of life4 ,if a young man or young woman with feeble body cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate1 no thoughts of marriage should be entertained4 ,courting a patient may be pleasant1 but a hard thing in married life to enjoy4 ,the young lady who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake4 ,illustration3 ,,life ,,insurance ,,companies ,,demand ,,physical ,,examination4 ,,why ,,not ,,matrimony8 #e4 ,,whom ,,to ,,choose ,,for ,a ,,husband4--,the choice of a husband requires the coolest judgment and the most vigilant sagacity4 ,a true union based on organic law is happiness1 but let all remember that oil and water will not mix3 the lion will not lie down with the lamb1 nor can ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord4 ,let the woman take ,an elder than herself1 so wears she to him-- ,so sways she1 rules in her husband's heart4 ,look carefully at the disposition4--,see that your intended ,spouse is kind-hearted1 generous1 and willing to respect the opinions of others1 though not in sympathy with them4 ,don't marry a selfish tyrant who thinks only of himself4 #f4 ,,be ,,careful4--,don't marry an intemperate man with a view of reforming him4 ,thousands have tried it and failed4 ,misery1 sorrow and a very hell on earth have been the consequences of too many such generous undertakings4 #g4 ,,the ,,true ,,and ,,only ,,test which any man should look for in woman is modesty in demeanor before marriage1 absence both of assumed ignorance and disagreeable familiarity1 and a pure and religious frame of mind4 ,where these are present1 he need not doubt that he has a faithful and a chaste wife4 #h4 ,,marrying ,,first ,,cousins is dangerous to offspring4 ,the observation is universal1 the children of married first cousins are too often idiots1 insane1 clump-footed1 crippled1 blind1 or variously diseased4 ,first cousins are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease in both families to their children4 ,if both are healthy there is less danger4 #i4 ,,do ,,not ,,choose ,,one ,,too ,,good1 or too far above you1 lest the inferior dissatisfying the superior1 breed those discords which are worse than the trials of a single life4 ,don't be too particular2 for you might go farther and fare worse4 ,as far as you yourself are faulty1 you should put up with faults4 ,don't cheat a consort by getting one much better than you can give4 ,we are not in heaven yet1 and must put up with their imperfections1 and instead of grumbling at them1 be glad they are no worse2 remembering that a faulty one is a great deal better than none1 if he loves you4 #aj4 ,,marrying ,,for ,,money4--,those who seek only the society of those who can boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment4 ,wealth cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness4 ,marry because you love each other1 and ,god will bless your home4 ,a cottage with a loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a discontented and unloving queen4 #aa4 ,,difference ,,in ,,age4--,it is generally admitted that the husband should be a few years older than the wife4 ,the question seems to be how much difference4 ,up to twenty-two those who propose marriage should be about the same age2 however1 other things being equal1 a difference of fifteen years after the younger is twenty-five1 need not prevent a marriage4 ,a man of forty-five may marry a woman of twenty-five much more safely than one of thirty a girl below nineteen1 because her mental sexuality is not as mature as his1 and again her natural coyness requires more delicate and affectionate treatment than he is likely to bestow4 ,a girl of twenty or under should seldom if ever marry a man of thirty or over1 because the love of an elderly man for a girl is more parental than conjugal2 while hers for him is like that of a daughter to a father4 ,he may pet1 flatter and indulge her as he would a grown-up daughter1 yet all this is not genuine masculine and feminine love1 nor can she exert over him the influence every man requires from his wife4 #ab4 ,,the ,,best ,,time4--,all things considered1 we advise the male reader to keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five1 and the female not to enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the age of twenty4 ,after those periods1 marriage is the proper sphere of action1 and one in which nearly every individual is called by nature to play his proper part4 #ac4 ,,select ,,carefully4--,while character1 health1 accomplishments and social position should be considered1 yet one must not overlook mental construction and physical conformation4 ,the rule always to be followed in choosing a life partner is identity of taste and diversity of temperament4 ,another essential is that they be physically adapted to each other4 ,for example3 ,the pelvis--that part of the anatomy containing all the internal organs of gestation--is not only essential to beauty and symmetry1 but is a matter of vital importance to her who contemplates matrimony1 and its usual consequences4 ,therefore1 the woman with a very narrow and contracted pelvis should never choose a man of giant physical development lest they cannot duly realize the most important of the enjoyments of the marriage state1 while the birth of large infants will impose upon her intense labor pains1 or even cost her her life4 ,illustration3 ,,explaining ,,the ,,need ,,of ,a ,,new ,,hat4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,choose ,,intellectually--,,love ,,afterward4 #a4 ,,love4--,let it ever be remembered that love is one of the most sacred elements of our nature1 and the most dangerous with which to tamper4 ,it is a very beautiful and delicately contrived faculty1 producing the most delightful results1 but easily thrown out of repair--like a tender plant1 the delicate fibers of which incline gradually to entwine themselves around its beloved one1 uniting two willing hearts by a thousand endearing ties1 and making of twain one flesh3 but they are easily torn asunder1 and then adieu to the joys of connubial bliss6 #b4 ,,courting ,,by ,,the ,,quarter4--,this courting by the quarter1 here a little and there a little1 is one of the greatest evils of the day4 ,this getting a little in love with ,julia1 and then a little with ,eliza1 and a little more with ,mary1--this fashionable flirtation and coquetry of both sexes--is ruinous to the domestic affections2 besides1 effectually preventing the formation of true connubial love4 ,i consider this dissipation of the affections one of the greatest sins against ,heaven1 ourselves1 and the one trifled with1 that can be committed4 #c4 ,,frittering ,,away ,,affections4--,young men commence courting long before they think of marrying1 and where they entertain no thoughts of marriage4 ,they fritter away their own affections1 and pride themselves on their conquests over the female heart2 triumphing in having so nicely fooled them4 ,they pursue this sinful course so far as to drive their pitiable victims1 one after another1 from respectable society1 who1 becoming disgraced1 retaliate by heaping upon them all the indignities and impositions which the fertile imagination of woman can invent or execute4 #d4 ,,courting ,,without ,,intending ,,to ,,marry4--,nearly all this wide-spread crime and suffering connected with public and private licentiousness and prostitution1 has its origin in these unmeaning courtships--this premature love--this blighting of the affections1 and every young man who courts without intending to marry1 is throwing himself or his sweet-heart into this hell upon earth4 ,and most of the blame rests on young men1 because they take the liberty of paying their addresses to the ladies and discontinuing them1 at pleasure1 and thereby mainly cause this vice4 #e4 ,,setting ,,their ,,caps4--,true1 young ladies sometimes set their caps1 sometimes court very hard by their bewitching smiles and affectionate manners2 by the natural language of love1 or that backward reclining and affectionate roll of the head which expresses it2 by their soft and persuasive accents2 by their low dresses1 artificial forms1 and many other unnatural and affected ways and means of attracting attention and exciting love2 but women never court till they have been in love and experienced its interruption1 till their first and most tender fibres of love have been frost-bitten by disappointment4 ,it is surely a sad condition of society4 ,illustration3 ,,motherhood4 #f4 ,,trampling ,,the ,,affections ,,of ,,women4--,but man is a self-privileged character4 ,he may not only violate the laws of his own social nature with impunity1 but he may even trample upon the affections of woman4 ,he may even carry this sinful indulgence to almost any length1 and yet be caressed and smiled tenderly upon by woman2 aye1 even by virtuous woman4 ,he may call out1 only to blast the glowing affections of one young lady after another1 and yet his addresses be cordially welcomed by others4 ,surely a gentleman is at perfect liberty to pay his addresses1 not only to a lady1 but even to the ladies1 although he does not once entertain the thought of marrying his sweet-heart1 or1 rather his victim4 ,o1 man1 how depraved6 ,o1 woman1 how strangely blind to your own rights and interests6 #g4 ,,an ,,infallible ,,sign4--,an infallible sign that a young man's intentions are improper1 is his trying to excite your passions4 ,if he loves you1 he will never appeal to that feeling1 because he respects you too much for that4 ,and the woman who allows a man to take advantage of her just to compel him to marry her1 is lost and heartless in the last degree1 and utterly destitute of moral principle as well as virtue4 ,a woman's riches is her virtue1 that gone she has lost all4 #h4 ,,the ,,beginning ,,of ,,licentiousness4--,man it seldom drives from society4 ,do what he may1 woman1 aye1 virtuous and even pious woman rarely excludes him from her list of visitors4 ,but where is the point of propriety8--immoral transgression should exclude either sex from respectable society4 ,is it that one false step which now constitutes the boundary between virtue and vice8 ,or rather1 the discovery of that false step8 ,certainly not6 but it is all that leads to1 and precedes and induces it4 ,it is this courting without marrying4 ,this is the beginning of licentiousness1 as well as its main1 procuring cause1 and therefore infinitely worse than its consummation merely4 #i4 ,,searing ,,the ,,social ,,affections4--,he has seared his social affections so deeply1 so thoroughly1 so effectually1 that when1 at last1 he wishes to marry1 he is incapable of loving4 ,he marries1 but is necessarily cold-hearted towards his wife1 which of course renders her wretched1 if not jealous1 and reverses the faculties of both towards each other2 making both most miserable for life4 ,this induces contention and mutual recrimination1 if not unfaithfulness1 and imbitters the marriage relations through life2 and well it may4 #aj4 ,,unhappy ,,marriages4--,this very cause1 besides inducing most of that unblushing public and private prostitution already alluded to1 renders a large proportion of the marriages of the present day unhappy4 ,good people mourn over the result1 but do not once dream of its cause4 ,they even pray for moral reform1 yet do the very things that increase the evil4 #aa4 ,,weeping ,,over ,,her ,,fallen ,,son4--,do you see yonder godly mother1 weeping over her fallen son1 and remonstrating with him in tones of a mother's tenderness and importunity8 ,that very mother prevented that very son marrying the girl he dearly loved1 because she was poor1 and this interruption of his love was the direct and procuring cause of his ruin2 for1 if she had allowed him to marry this beloved one1 he never would have thought of giving his strength unto strange women4 ,true1 the mother ruined her son ignorantly1 but none the less effectually4 #ab4 ,,seduction ,,and ,,ruin4--,that son next courts another virtuous fair one1 engages her affections1 and ruins her1 or else leaves her broken-hearted1 so that she is the more easily ruined by others1 and thus prepares the way for her becoming an inmate of a house whose steps take hold on hell4 ,his heart is now indifferent1 he is ready for anything4 #ac4 ,,the ,,right ,,principle4--,i say then1 with emphasis1 that no man should ever pay his addresses to any woman1 until he has made his selection1 not even to aid him in making that choice4 ,he should first make his selection intellectually1 and love afterward4 ,he should go about the matter coolly and with judgment1 just as he would undertake any other important matter4 ,no man or woman1 when blinded by love1 is in a fit state to judge advantageously as to what he or she requires1 or who is adapted to his or her wants4 #ad4 ,,choosing ,,first ,,and ,,loving ,,afterwards4--,i know1 indeed1 that this doctrine of choosing first and loving afterward1 of excluding love from the councils1 and of choosing by and with the consent of the intellect and moral sentiments1 is entirely at variance with the feelings of the young and the customs of society2 but1 for its correctness1 ,i appeal to the common-sense--not to the experience1 for so few try this plan4 ,is not this the only proper method1 and the one most likely to result happily8 ,try it4 #ae4 ,,the ,,young ,,woman',s ,,caution4--,and1 especially1 let no young lady ever once think of bestowing her affections till she is certain they will not be broken off--that is1 until the match is fully agreed upon1 but rather let her keep her heart whole till she bestows it for life4 ,this requisition is as much more important1 and its violation as much more disastrous to woman than to man1 as her social faculties are stronger than his4 #af4 ,a ,,burnt ,,child ,,dreads ,,the ,,fire4--,as a burnt child dreads the fire1 and the more it is burnt1 the greater the dread3 so your affections1 once interrupted1 will recoil from a second love1 and distrust all mankind4 ,no6 you cannot be too choice of your love--that pivot on which turn your destinies for life and future happiness4 ,illustration3 ,,after ,,the ,,engagement4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,love-,,spats4 ,could ever hear by tale or history1 ,the course of true love never did run smooth4 --,,shakespeare4 ,heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned1 ,nor hell a fury like a woman scorned4--,,congreve4 ,thunderstorms clear the atmosphere and promote vegetation2 then why not ,love-spats promote love1 as they certainly often do8 ,they are almost universal1 and in the nature of our differences cannot be helped4 ,the more two love1 the more they are aggrieved by each other's faults2 of which these spats are but the correction4 ,love-spats instead of being universal1 they are consequent on imperfect love1 and only aggravate1 never correct errors4 ,sexual storms never improve1 whereas love obviates faults by praising the opposite virtues4 ,every view of them1 practical and philosophical1 condemns them as being to love what poison is to health1 both before and after marriage4 ,they are nothing but married discords4 ,every law of mind and love condemns them4 ,shun them as you would deadly vipers1 and prevent them by forestallment4--,o4,s4 ,fowler4 #a4 ,,the ,,true ,,facts4--,notwithstanding some of the above quotations1 to the contrary1 trouble and disagreement between lovers embitters both love and life4 ,contention is always dangerous1 and will beget alienation if not final separation4 #b4 ,,confirmed ,,affections4--,where affections are once thoroughly confirmed1 each one should be very careful in taking offense1 and avoid all disagreements as far as possible1 but if disagreements continually develop with more or less friction and irritation1 it is better for the crisis to come and a final separation take place4 ,for peace is better than disunited love4 #c4 ,,hate-,,spats4--,hate-spats1 though experienced by most lovers1 yet1 few realize how fatal they are to subsequent affections4 ,love-spats develop into hate-spats1 and their effects upon the affections are blighting and should not under any circumstances be tolerated4 ,either agree1 or agree to disagree4 ,if there cannot be harmony before the ties of marriage are assumed1 then there cannot be harmony after4 ,married life will be continually marred by a series of hate-spats that sooner or later will destroy all happiness1 unless the couple are reasonably well mated4 ,illustration3 ,,home ,,loving ,,hearts ,,are ,,happiest4 #d4 ,,more ,,fatal ,,the ,,oftener ,,they ,,occur4--,as ,o4,s4 ,fowler says3 ',the poison of asps is under their lips4' ,the first spat is like a deep gash cut into a beautiful face1 rendering it ghastly1 and leaving a fearful scar1 which neither time nor cosmetics can ever efface2 including that pain so fatal to love1 and blotting that sacred love-page with memory's most hideous and imperishable visages4 ,cannot many now unhappy remember them as the beginning of that alienation which embittered your subsequent affectional cup1 spoiled your lives8 ,with what inherent repulsion do you look back upon them8 ,their memory is horrid1 and effect on love most destructive4 #e4 ,,fatal ,,conditions4--,what are all lovers' spats but disappointment in its very worst form8 ,they necessarily and always produce all its terrible consequences4 ,the finer feelings and sensibilities will soon become destroyed and nothing but hatred will remain4 #f4 ,,extreme ,,sorrow4--,after a serious spat there generally follows a period of tender sorrow1 and a feeling of humiliation and submission4 ,mutual promises are consequently made that such a condition of things shall never happen again1 etc4 ,but be sure and remember1 that every subsequent difficulty will require stronger efforts to repair the breach4 ,let it be understood that these compromises are dangerous1 and every new difficulty increases their fatality4 ,even the strongest will endure but few1 nor survive many4 #g4 ,,distrust ,,and ,,want ,,of ,,confidence4--,most difficulties arise from distrust or lack of confidence or common-sense4 ,when two lovers eye each other like two curs1 each watching1 lest the other should gain some new advantage1 then this shows a lack of common-sense1 and the young couple should get sensible or separate4 #h4 ,,jealousy4--,when one of the lovers1 once so tender1 now all at once so cold and hardened2 once so coy and familiar now suddenly so reserved1 distant1 hard and austere1 is always a sure case of jealousy4 ,a jealous person is first talkative1 very affectionate1 and then all at once changes and becomes cold1 reserved and repulsive1 apparently without cause4 ,if a person is jealous before marriage1 this characteristic will be increased rather than diminished by marriage4 #i4 ,,confession4--,if you make up by confession1 the confessor feels mean and disgraced2 or if both confess and forgive1 both feel humbled2 since forgiveness implies inferiority and pity2 from which whatever is manly and womanly shrinks4 ,still even this is better than continued spats4 #aj4 ,,prevention4--,if you can get along well in your courtship you will invariably make a happy couple if you should unite your destinies in marriage4 ,learn not to give nor take offence4 ,you must remember that all humanity is imperfect at best4 ,we all have our faults1 and must keep them in subordination4 ,those who truly love each other will have but few difficulties in their courtship or in married life4 #aa4 ,,remedies4--,establishing a perfect love in the beginning constitutes a preventive4 ,fear that they are not truly loved usually paves the way for spats4 ,let all who make any pretension guard against all beginnings of this reversal1 and strangle these hate-spats the moment they arise4 ,let not the sun go down upon thy wrath1 not even an hour1 but let the next sentence after they begin quench them forever4 ,and let those who cannot court without spats1 stop2 for those who spat before marriage must quarrel after4 ,illustration3 ,,let ,,not ,,the ,,sun ,,go ,,down ,,upon ,,thy ,,wrath4 ,illustration3 ,,alone ,,and ,,forsaken4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,broken ,,heart4 #a4 ,,wounded ,,love4--',tis true that love wields a magic1 sovereign1 absolute1 and tyrannical power over both the body and the mind when it is given control4 ,it often1 in case of dissapointment1 works havoc and deals death blows to its victims1 and leaves many in that morbid mental condition which no life-tonics simply can restore4 ,wounded love may be the result of hasty and indiscreet conduct of young people2 or the outgrowth of lust1 or the result of domestic infidelity and discord4 #b4 ,,fatal ,,effects4--,our cemeteries receive within the cold shadows of the grave thousands and thousands of victims that annually die from the results of broken hearts4 ,it is no doubt a fact that love troubles cause more disorders of the heart than everything else combined4 #c4 ,,disrupted ,,love4--,it has long been known that dogs1 birds1 and even horses1 when separated from their companions or friends1 have pined away and died2 so it is not strange that man with his higher intuitive ideas of affection should suffer from love when suddenly disrupted4 #d4 ,,crucifying ,,love4--,painful love feelings strike right to the heart1 and the breaking up of love that cannot be consummated in marriage is sometimes allowed to crucify the affections4 ,there is no doubt that the suffering from disappointed love is often deeper and more intense than meeting death itself4 #e4 ,,healing4--,the paralyzing and agonizing consequences of ruptured love can only be remedied by diversion and society4 ,bring the mind into a state of patriotic independence with a full determination to blot out the past4 ,those who cannot bring into subordination the pangs of disappointment in love are not strong characters1 and invariably will suffer disappointments in almost every department of life4 ,disappointment in love means rising above it1 and conquering it1 or demoralization1 mental1 physical and sexual4 #f4 ,,love ,,runs ,,mad4--,love comes unbidden4 ,a blind ungovernable impulse seems to hold sway in the passions of the affections4 ,love is blind and seems to completely subdue and conquer4 ,it often comes like a clap of thunder from a clear sky1 and when it falls it falls flat1 leaving only the ruins of a tornado behind4 #g4 ,,bad1 ,,dismal1 ,,and ,,blue ,,feelings4--,despondency breathes disease1 and those who yield to it can neither work1 eat nor sleep2 they only suffer4 ,the spell-bound1 fascinated1 magnetized affections seem to deaden self-control and no doubt many suffering from love-sickness are totally helpless2 they are beside themselves1 irritational and wild4 ,men and women of genius1 influence and education1 all seem to suffer alike1 but they do not yield alike to the subduing influence2 some pine away and die2 others rise above it1 and are the stronger and better for having been afflicted4 #h4 ,,rise ,,above ,,it4--,cheer up6 ,if you cannot think pleasurably over your misfortune1 forget it4 ,you must do this or perish4 ,your power and influence is too much to blight by foolish and melancholic pining4 ,your own sense1 your self-respect1 your self-love1 your love for others1 command you not to spoil yourself by crying over spilt milk4 #i4 ,,retrieve ,,your ,,past ,,loss4--,do sun1 moon1 and stars indeed rise and set in your loved one8 ,are there not as good fish in the sea as ever were caught8 and can you not catch them8 ,are there not other hearts on earth just as loving and lovely1 and in every way as congenial2 ,if circumstances had first turned you upon another1 you would have felt about that one as now about this4 ,love depends far less on the party loved than on the loving one4 ,or is this the way either to retrieve your past loss1 or provide for the future8 ,is it not both unwise and self-destructive2 and in every way calculated to render your case1 present and prospective1 still more hopeless8 #aj4 ,,find ,,something ,,to ,,do4--,idle hands are ,satan's workshop4 ,employ your mind2 find something to do2 something in which you can find self-improvement2 something that will fit you better to be admired by someone else1 read1 and improve your mind2 get into society1 throw your whole soul into some new enterprise1 and you will conquer with glory and come out of the fire purified and made more worthy4 #aa4 ,,love ,,again4--,as love was the cause of your suffering1 so love again will restore you1 and you will love better and more consistently4 ,do not allow yourself to become soured and detest and shun association4 ,rebuild your dilapidated sexuality by cultivating a general appreciation of the excellence1 especially of the mental and moral qualities of the opposite sex4 ,conquer your prejudices1 and vow not to allow anyone to annoy or disturb your calmness4 #ab4 ,,love ,,for ,,the ,,dead4--,a most affectionate woman1 who continues to love her affianced though long dead1 instead of becoming soured or deadened1 manifests all the richness and sweetness of the fully-developed woman thoroughly in love1 along with a softened1 mellow1 twilight sadness which touches every heart1 yet throws a peculiar lustre and beauty over her manners and entire character4 ,she must mourn1 but not forever4 ,it is not her duty to herself or to her ,creator4 #ac4 ,a ,,sure ,,remedy4--,come in contact with the other sex4 ,you are infused with your lover's magnetism1 which must remain till displaced by another's4 ,go to parties and picnics2 be free1 familiar1 offhand1 even forward2 try your knack at fascinating another1 and yield to fascinations yourself4 ,but be honest1 command respect1 and make yourself attractive and worthy4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,sure ,,remedy4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,former ,,customs ,,and ,,peculiarities ,,among ,,men4 #a4 ,,polygamy4--,there is a wide difference as regards the relations of the sexes in different parts of the world4 ,in some parts polygamy has prevailed from time immemorial4 ,most savage people are polygamists1 and the ,turks1 though slowly departing from the practice1 still allow themselves a plurality of wives4 #b4 ,,rule ,,reversed4--,in ,thibet the rule is reversed1 and the females are provided with two or more husbands4 ,it is said that in many instances a whole family of brothers have but one wife4 ,the custom has at least one advantageous feature1 viz43 the possibility of leaving an unprotected widow and a number of fatherless children is entirely obviated4 #c4 ,,the ,,morganatic ,,marriage is a modification of polygamy4 ,it sometimes occurs among the royalty of ,europe1 and is regarded as perfectly legitimate1 but the morganatic wife is of lower rank than her royal husband1 and her children do not inherit his rank or fortune4 ,the ,queen only is the consort of the sovereign1 and entitled to share his rank4 #d4 ,,different ,,manners ,,of ,,obtaining ,,wives4--,among the uncivilized almost any envied possession is taken by brute force or superior strength4 ,the same is true in obtaining a wife4 ,the strong take precedence of the weak4 ,it is said that among the ,north ,american ,indians it was the custom for men to wrestle for the choice of women4 ,a weak man could seldom retain a wife that a strong man coveted4 ,the law of contest was not confined to individuals alone4 ,women were frequently the cause of whole tribes arraying themselves against each other in battle4 ,the effort to excel in physical power was a great incentive to bodily development1 and since the best of the men were preferred by the most superior women1 the custom was a good one in this1 that the race was improved4 #e4 ,,the ,,aboriginal ,,australian employed low cunning and heartless cruelty in obtaining his wife4 ,laying in ambush1 with club in hand1 he would watch for the coveted woman1 and1 unawares1 spring upon her4 ,if simply disabled he carried her off as his possession1 but if the blow had been hard enough to kill1 he abandoned her to watch for another victim4 ,there is here no effort to attract or please1 no contest of strength2 his courtship1 if courtship it can be called1 would compare very unfavorably with any among the brute creation4 #f4 ,,the ,,kalmuck ,,tartar races for his bride on horseback1 she having a certain start previously agreed upon4 ,the nuptial knot consists in catching her1 but we are told that the result of the race all depends upon whether the girl wants to be caught or not4 #g4 ,,hawaiian ,,islanders4--,marriage among the early natives of these islands was merely a matter of mutual inclination4 ,there was no ceremony at all1 the men and women united and separated as they felt disposed4 #h4 ,,the ,,feudal ,,lord1 in various parts of ,europe1 when any of his dependents or followers married1 exercised the right of assuming the bridegroom's proper place in the marriage couch for the first night4 ,seldom was there any escape from this abominable practice4 ,sometimes the husband1 if wealthy1 succeeded in buying off the petty sovereign from exercising his privilege4 #i4 ,,the ,,spartans had the custom of encouraging intercourse between their best men and women for the sake of a superior progeny1 without any reference to a marriage ceremony4 ,records show that the ancient ,roman husband has been known to invite a friend1 in whom he may have admired some physical or mental trait1 to share the favors of his wife2 that the peculiar qualities that he admired might be repeated in the offspring4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,proposing4 ,illustration ,hasty marriage seldom proveth well4--,shakespeare1 ,henry ,,vi4 ,the reason why so few marriages are happy is1 because young ladies spend their time in making nets1 not in making cages4--,swift1 ,thoughts on ,various ,subjects4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,sensible ,,hints ,,in ,,choosing ,a ,,partner4 #a4 ,there are many fatal errors and many love-making failures in courtship4 ,natural laws govern all nature and reduce all they govern to eternal right2 therefore love naturally1 not artificially4 ,don't love a somebody or a nobody simply because they have money4 #b4 ,,court ,,scientifically4--,if you court at all1 court scientifically4 ,bungle whatever else you will1 but do no bungle courtship4 ,a failure in this may mean more than a loss of wealth or public honors2 it may mean ruin1 or a life often worse than death4 ,the world is full of wretched and mismated people4 ,,begin ,,right and all will be right2 begin wrong and all will end wrong4 ,when you court1 make a business of it and study your interest the same as you would study any other business proposition4 #c4 ,,divorces4--,there is not a divorce on our court records that is not the result of some fundamental error in courtship4 ,the purity or the power of love may be corrupted the same as any other faculty1 and when a man makes up his mind to marry and shuts his eyes and grabs in the dark for a companion1 he dishonors the woman he captures and commits a crime against ,god and society4 ,in this enlightened age there should be comparatively few mistakes made in the selection of a suitable partner4 ,sufficient time should be taken to study each other's character and disposition4 ,association will soon reveal adaptability4 #d4 ,,false ,,love4--,many a poor1 blind and infatuated novice thinks he is desperately in love1 when there is not the least genuine affection in his nature4 ,it is all a momentary passion a sort of puppy love2 his vows and pledges are soon violated1 and in wedlock he will become indifferent and cold to his wife and children1 and he will go through life without ambition1 encouragement or success4 ,he will be a failure4 ,true love speaks for itself1 and the casual observer can read its proclamations4 ,true love does not speak in a whisper1 it always makes itself heard4 ,the follies of flirting develops into many unhappy marriages1 and blight many a life4 ,man happily married has superior advantages both social and financially4 #e4 ,,flirting ,,just ,,for ,,fun4--,who is the flirt1 what is his reputation1 motive1 or character8 ,every young man and woman must have a reputation2 if it is not good it is bad1 there is no middle ground4 ,young people who are running in the streets after dark1 boisterous and noisy in their conversation1 gossiping and giggling1 flirting with first one and then another1 will soon settle their matrimonial prospects among good society4 ,modesty is a priceless jewel4 ,no sensible young man with a future will marry a flirt4 #f4 ,,the ,,arch-,,deceiver4--,they who win the affection simply for their own amusement are committing a great sin for which there is no adequate punishment4 ,how can you shipwreck the innocent life of that confiding maiden1 how can you forget her happy looks as she drank in your expressions of love1 how can you forget her melting eyes and glowing cheeks1 her tender tone reciprocating your pretended love8 ,remember that ,god is infinitely just1 and the soul that sinneth shall surely die4 ,you may dash into business1 seek pleasure in the club room1 and visit gambling hells1 but ,thou art the man will ever stare you in the face4 ,her pale1 sad cheeks1 her hollow eyes will never cease to haunt you4 ,men should promote happiness1 and not cause misery4 ,let the savage ,indians torture captives to death by the slow flaming fagot1 but let civilized man respect the tenderness and love of confiding women4 ,torturing the opposite sex is double-distilled barbarity4 ,young men agonizing young ladies1 is the cold-blooded cruelty of devils1 not men4 #g4 ,,the ,,rule ,,to ,,follow4--,do not continually pay your attentions to the same lady if you have no desire to win her affections4 ,occasionally escorting her to church1 concert1 picnic1 party1 etc41 is perfectly proper2 but to give her your special attention1 and extend invitations to her for all places of amusements where you care to attend1 is an implied promise that you prefer her company above all others1 and she has a right to believe that your attentions are serious4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,wedding ,,ring4 #h4 ,,every ,,girl ,,should ,,seal ,,her ,,heart against all manifested affections1 unless they are accompanied by a proposal4 ,woman's love is her all1 and her heart should be as flint until she finds one who is worthy of her confidence4 ,young woman1 never bestow your affections until by some word or deed at least you are fully justified in recognizing sincerity and faith in him who is paying you special attention4 ,better not be engaged until twenty-two4 ,you are then more competent to judge the honesty and falsity of man4 ,nature has thrown a wall of maidenly modesty around you4 ,preserve that and not let your affections be trifled with while too young by any youthful flirt who is in search of hearts to conquer4 #i4 ,,female ,,flirtation4--,the young man who loves a young woman has paid her the highest compliment in the possession of man4 ,perpetrate almost any sin1 inflict any other torture1 but spare him the agony of disappointment4 ,it is a crime that can never be forgiven1 and a debt that never can be paid4 #aj4 ,,loyalty4--,young persons with serious intentions1 or those who are engaged should be thoroughly loyal to each other4 ,if they seek freedom with others the flame of jealousy is likely to be kindled and love is often turned to hatred1 and the severest anger of the soul is aroused4 ,loyalty1 faithfulness1 confidence1 are the three jewels to be cherished in courtship4 ,don't be a flirt4 #aa4 ,,kissing1 ,,fondling1 ,,and ,,caressing ,,between ,,lovers4--,this should never be tolerated under any circumstances1 unless there is an engagement to justify it1 and then only in a sensible and limited way4 ,the girl who allows a young man the privilege of kissing her or putting his arms around her waist before engagement will at once fall in the estimation of the man she has thus gratified and desired to please4 ,privileges always injure1 but never benefit4 #ab4 ,,improper ,,liberties ,,during ,,courtship ,,kill ,,love4--,any improper liberties which are permitted by young ladies1 whether engaged or not1 will change love into sensuality1 and her affections will become obnoxious1 if not repellent4 ,men by nature love virtue1 and for a life companion naturally shun an amorous woman4 ,young folks1 as you love moral purity and virtue1 never reciprocate love until you have required the right of betrothal4 ,remember that those who are thoroughly in love will respect the honor and virtue of each other4 ,the purity of woman is doubly attractive1 and sensuality in her becomes doubly offensive and repellent4 ,it is contrary to the laws of nature for a man to love a harlot4 #ac4 ,a ,,seducer4--,the punishment of the seducer is best given by ,o4,s4 ,fowler1 in his ,creative ,science4 ,the sin and punishment rest on all you who call out only to blight a trusting1 innocent1 loving virgin's affections1 and then discard her4 ,you deserve to be horsewhipped by her father1 cowhided by her brothers1 branded villain by her mother1 cursed by herself1 and sent to the whipping-post and dungeon4 #ad4 ,,caution4--,a young lady should never encourage the attentions of a young man1 who shows no interest in his sisters4 ,if a young man is indifferent to his sisters he will become indifferent to his wife as soon as the honey moon is over4 ,there are few if any exceptions to this rule4 ,the brother who will not be kind and loving in his mother's home will make a very poor husband4 #ae4 ,,the ,,old ,,rule3 ,never marry a man that does not make his mother a ,christmas present every ,christmas1 is a good one4 ,the young lady makes no mistake in uniting her destinies with the man that loves his mother and respects his sisters and brothers4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,a ,,chinese ,,bride ,,and ,,groom4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,safe ,,hints4 #a4 ,marry in your own position in life4 ,if there is any difference in social position1 it is better that the husband should be the superior4 ,a woman does not like to look down upon her husband1 and to be obliged to do so is a poor guarantee for their happiness4 #b4 ,it is best to marry persons of your own faith and religious convictions1 unless one is willing to adopt those of the other4 ,difference of faith is apt to divide families1 and to produce great trouble in after life4 ,a pious woman should beware of marrying an irreligious man4 #c4 ,don't be afraid of marrying a poor man or woman4 ,good health1 cheerful disposition1 stout hearts and industrious hands will bring happiness and comfort4 #d4 ,bright red hair should marry jet black1 and jet black auburn or bright red1 etc4 ,and the more red-faced and bearded or impulsive a man1 the more dark1 calm1 cool and quiet should his wife be2 and vice versa4 ,the florid should not marry the florid1 but those who are dark1 in proportion as they themselves are light4 #e4 ,red-whiskered men should marry brunettes1 but no blondes2 the color of the whiskers being more determinate of the temperament than that of the hair4 #f4 ,the color of the eyes is still more important4 ,gray eyes must marry some other color1 almost any other except gray2 and so of blue1 dark1 hazel1 etc4 #g4 ,those very fleshy should not marry those equally so1 but those too spare and slim2 and this is doubly true of females4 ,a spare man is much better adapted to a fleshy woman than a round-favored man4 ,two who are short1 thick-set and stocky1 should not unite in marriage1 but should choose those differently constituted2 but on no account one of their own make4 ,and1 in general1 those predisposed to corpulence are therefore less inclined to marriage4 #h4 ,those with little hair or beard should marry those whose hair is naturally abundant2 still those who once had plenty1 but who have lost it1 may marry those who are either bald or have but little2 for in this1 as in all other cases1 all depends on what one is by nature1 little on present states4 #i4 ,those whose motive-temperament decidedly predominates1 who are bony1 only moderately fleshy1 quite prominent-featured1 ,roman-nosed and muscular1 should not marry those similarly formed4 #aj4 ,small1 nervous men must not marry little1 nervous or sanguine women1 lest both they and their children have quite too much of the hot-headed and impulsive1 and die suddenly4 #aa4 ,two very beautiful persons rarely do or should marry2 nor two extra homely4 ,the fact is a little singular that very handsome women1 who of course can have their pick1 rarely marry good-looking men1 but generally give preference to those who are homely2 because that exquisiteness in which beauty originates naturally blends with that power which accompanies huge noses and disproportionate features4 ,illustration3 ,,light4 ,,life4 ,,health ,,and ,,beauty4 #ab4 ,rapid movers1 speakers1 laughers1 etc41 should marry those who are calm and deliberate1 and impulsives those who are stoical2 while those who are medium may marry those who are either or neither1 as they prefer4 #ac4 ,noses indicate characters by indicating the organisms and temperaments4 ,accordingly1 those noses especially marked either way should marry those having opposite nasal characteristics4 ,roman noses are adapted to those which turn up1 and pug noses to those turning down2 while straight noses may marry either4 #ad4 ,men who love to command must be especially careful not to marry imperious1 women's-rights woman2 while those who willingly obey orders need just such4 ,some men require a wife who shall take their part2 yet all who do not need strong-willed women1 should be careful how they marry them4 #ae4 ,a sensible woman should not marry an obstinate but injudicious1 unintelligent man2 because she cannot long endure to see and help him blindly follow his poor1 but spurn her good1 plans4 #af4 ,the reserved or secretive should marry the frank4 ,a cunning man cannot endure the least artifice in a wife4 ,those who are non-committal must marry those who are demonstrative2 else1 however much they may love1 neither will feel sure as to the other's affections1 and each will distrust the other1 while their children will be deceitful4 #ag4 ,a timid woman should never marry a hesitating man1 lest1 like frightened children1 each keep perpetually re-alarming the other by imaginary fears4 #ah4 ,an industrious1 thrifty1 hard-working man should marry a woman tolerably saving and industrious4 ,as the almighty dollar is now the great motor-wheel of humanity1 and that to which most husbands devote their entire lives to delve alone is uphill work4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,fireside ,,fancies4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,marriage ,,securities4 #a4 ,,seek ,,each ,,other',s ,,happiness4--,a selfish marriage that seeks only its own happiness defeats itself4 ,happiness is a fire that will not burn long on one stick4 #b4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,suddenly4--,it can always be done till it is done1 if it is a proper thing to do4 #c4 ,,marry ,,in ,,your ,,own ,,grade ,,in ,,society4--,it is painful to be always apologizing for any one4 ,it is more painful to be apologized for4 #d4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,downward4--,it is hard enough to advance in the quality of life without being loaded with clay heavier than your own4 ,it will be sufficiently difficult to keep your children up to your best level without having to correct a bias in their blood4 #e4 ,,do ,,not ,,sell ,,yourself4--,it matters not whether the price be money or position4 #f4 ,,do ,,not ,,throw ,,yourself ,,away4--,you will not receive too much1 even if you are paid full price4 #g4 ,,seek ,,the ,,advice ,,of ,,your ,,parents4--,your parents are your best friends4 ,they will make more sacrifice for you than any other mortals4 ,they are elevated above selfishness concerning you4 ,if they differ from you concerning your choice1 it is because they must4 #h4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,to ,,please ,,any ,,third ,,party4--,you must do the living and enduring4 #i4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,to ,,spite ,,anybody4--,it would add wretchedness to folly4 #aj4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,because ,,someone ,,else ,,may ,,seek ,,the ,,same ,,hand4--,one glove may not fit all hands equally well4 #aa4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,to ,,get ,,rid ,,of ,,anybody4--,the coward who shot himself to escape from being drafted was insane4 #ab4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,merely ,,for ,,the ,,impulse ,,of ,,love4--,love is a principle as well as an emotion4 ,so far as it is a sentiment it is a blind guide4 ,it does not wait to test the presence of exalted character in its object before breaking out into a flame4 ,shavings make a hot fire1 but hard coal is better for the ,winter4 #ac4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,without ,,love4--,a body without a soul soon becomes offensive4 #ad4 ,,test ,,carefully ,,the ,,effect ,,of ,,protracted ,,association4--,if familiarity breeds contempt before marriage it will afterward4 #ae4 ,,test ,,carefully ,,the ,,effect ,,of ,,protracted ,,separation4--,true love will defy both time and space4 #af4 ,,consider ,,carefully the right of your children under the laws of heredity4 ,it is doubtful whether you have a right to increase the number of invalids and cripples4 #ag4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,simply ,,because ,,you ,,have ,,promised ,,to ,,do ,,so4--,if a seam opens between you now it will widen into a gulf4 ,it is less offensive to retract a mistaken promise than to perjure your soul before the altar4 ,your intended spouse has a right to absolute integrity4 ,illustration3 ,,going ,,to ,,be ,,married4 #ah4 ,,marry ,,character4--,it is not so much what one has as what one is4 #ai4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,the ,,wrong ,,object4--,themistocles said he would rather marry his daughter to a man without money than to money with a man4 ,it is well to have both4 ,it is fatal to have neither4 #bj4 ,,demand ,a ,,just ,,return4--,you give virtue and purity1 and gentleness and integrity4 ,you have a right to demand the same in return4 ,duty requires it4 #ba4 ,,require ,,brains4--,culture is good1 but will not be transmitted4 ,brain power may be4 #bb4 ,,study ,,past ,,relationship4--,the good daughter and sister makes a good wife4 ,the good son and brother makes a good husband4 #bc4 ,,never ,,marry ,,as ,a ,,missionary ,,deed4--,if one needs saving from bad habits he is not suitable for you4 #bd4 ,,marriage ,,is ,a ,,sure ,,and ,,specific ,,remedy for all the ills known as seminal losses4 ,as right eating cures a sick stomach and right breathing diseased lungs1 so the right use of the sexual organs will bring relief and restoration4 ,many men who have been sufferers from indiscretions of youth1 have married1 and were soon cured of spermatorrhoea and other complications which accompanied it4 #be4 ,a ,,good1 ,,long ,,courtship will often cure many difficulties or ills of the sexual organs4 ,o4,s4 ,fowler says3 ,see each other often spend many pleasant hours together1 have many walks and talks1 think of each other while absent1 write many love letters1 be inspired to many love feelings and acts towards each other1 and exercise your sexuality in a thousand forms ten thousand times1 every one of which tones up and thereby recuperates this very element now dilapidated4 ,when you have courted long enough to marry1 you will be sufficiently restored to be reimproved by it4 ,,up ,,and ,,at ,,it4--,dress up1 spruce up1 and be on the alert4 ,don't wait too long to get one much more perfect than you are2 but settle on some one soon4 ,remember that your unsexed state renders you over-dainty1 and easily disgusted4 ,so contemplate only their lovable qualities4 #bf4 ,,purity ,,of ,,purpose4--,court with a pure and loyal purpose1 and when thoroughly convinced that the disposition of other difficulties are in the way of a happy marriage life1 then honorably discuss it and honorably treat each other in the settlement4 #bg4 ,,do ,,not ,,trifle with the feelings or affections of each other4 ,it is a sin that will curse you all the days of your life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,women ,,who ,,make ,,the ,,best ,,wives4 #a4 ,,conscious ,,of ,,the ,,duties ,,of ,,her ,,sex4--,a woman conscious of the duties of her sex1 one who unflinchingly discharges the duties allotted to her by nature1 would no doubt make a good wife4 #b4 ,,good ,,wives ,,and ,,mothers4--,the good wives and mothers are the women who believe in the sisterhood of women as well as in the brotherhood of men4 ,the highest exponent of this type seeks to make her home something more than an abode where children are fed1 clothed and taught the catechism4 ,the ,state has taken her children into politics by making their education a function of politicians4 ,the good wife and homemaker says to her children1 ,where thou goest1 ,i will go4 ,she puts off her own inclinations to ease and selfishness4 ,she studies the men who propose to educate her children2 she exhorts mothers to sit beside fathers on the school-board2 she will even herself accept such thankless office in the interests of the helpless youth of the schools who need a mother's as well as a father's and a teacher's care in this field of politics4 #c4 ,a ,,busy ,,woman4--,as to whether a busy woman1 that is1 a woman who labors for mankind in the world outside her home1--whether such an one can also be a good housekeeper1 and care for her children1 and make a real ,home1 ,sweet ,home6 with all the comforts by way of variation1 why6 ,i am ready1 as the result of years practical experience as a busy woman1 to assert that women of affairs can also be women of true domestic tastes and habits4 #d4 ,,brainy ,,enough4--,what kind of women make the best wives8 ,the woman who is brainy enough to be a companion1 wise enough to be a counsellor1 skilled enough in the domestic virtues to be a good housekeeper1 and loving enough to guide in true paths the children with whom the home may be blessed4 #e4 ,,found ,,the ,,right ,,husband4--,the best wife is the woman who has found the right husband1 a husband who understands her4 ,a man will have the best wife when he rates that wife as queen among women4 ,of all women she should always be to him the dearest4 ,this sort of man will not only praise the dishes made by his wife1 but will actually eat them4 #f4 ,,bank ,,account4--,he will allow his life-companion a bank account1 and will exact no itemized bill at the end of the month4 ,above all1 he will pay the ,easter bonnet bill without a word1 never bring a friend to dinner without first telephoning home1--short1 he will comprehend that the woman who makes the best wife is the woman whom1 by his indulgence of her ways and whims1 he makes the best wife4 ,so after all1 good husbands have the most to do with making good wives4 ,illustration3 ,,punishment ,,of ,,wife ,,beaters ,,in ,,new ,,england ,,in ,,the ,,early ,,days4 #g4 ,,best ,,home ,,maker4--,a woman to be the best home maker needs to be devoid of intensive nerves4 ,she must be neat and systematic1 but not too neat1 lest she destroy the comfort she endeavors to create4 ,she must be distinctly amiable1 while firm4 ,she should have no career1 or desire for a career1 if she would fill to perfection the home sphere4 ,she must be affectionate1 sympathetic and patient1 and fully appreciative of the worth and dignity of her sphere4 #h4 ,,know ,,nothing ,,whatsoever ,,about ,,cooking ,,or ,,sewing ,,or ,,housekeeping4--,i am inclined to make my answer to this question somewhat concise1 after the manner of a text without the sermon4 ,like this3 ,to be the best wife depends upon three things3 first1 an abiding faith with ,god2 second1 duty lovingly discharged as daughter1 wife and mother2 third1 self-improvement1 mentally1 physically1 spiritually4 ,with this as a text and as a glittering generality1 let me touch upon one or two practical essentials4 ,in the course of every week it is my privilege to meet hundreds of young women1--prospective wives4 ,i am astonished to find that many of these know nothing whatsoever about cooking or sewing or housekeeping4 ,now1 if a woman cannot broil a beefsteak1 nor boil the coffee when it is necessary1 if she cannot mend the linen1 nor patch a coat1 if she cannot make a bed1 order the dinner1 create a lamp-shade1 ventilate the house1 nor do anything practical in the way of making home actually a home1 how can she expect to make even a good wife1 not to speak of a better or best wife8 ,i need not continue this sermon4 ,wise girls will understand4 #i4 ,,the ,,best ,,keeper ,,of ,,home4--,as to who is the best keeper of this transition home1 memory pictures to me a woman grown white under the old slavery1 still bound by it1 in that little-out-of-the-way ,kansas town1 but never so bound that she could not put aside household tasks1 at any time1 for social intercourse1 for religious conversation1 for correspondence1 for reading1 and1 above all1 for making everyone who came near her feel that her home was the expression of herself1 a place for rest1 study1 and the cultivation of affection4 ,she did not exist for her walls1 her carpets1 her furniture2 they existed for her and all who came to her ,she considered herself the equal of all2 and everyone else thought her the superior of all4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,adaptation1 ,,conjugal ,,affection1 ,,and ,,fatal ,,errors4 ,,advice ,,to ,,the ,,married ,,and ,,unmarried4 #a4 ,,marrying ,,for ,,wealth4--,those who marry for wealth often get what they marry and nothing else2 for rich girls besides being generally destitute of both industry and economy1 are generally extravagant in their expenditures1 and require servants enough to dissipate a fortune4 ,they generally have insatiable wants1 yet feel that they deserve to be indulged in everything1 because they placed their husbands under obligation to them by bringing them a dowry4 ,and then the mere idea of living on the money of a wife1 and of being supported by her1 is enough to tantalize any man of an independent spirit4 #b4 ,,self-,,support4--,what spirited husband would not prefer to support both himself and wife1 rather than submit to this perpetual bondage of obligation4 ,to live upon a father1 or take a patrimony from him1 is quite bad enough2 but to run in debt to a wife1 and owe her a living1 is a little too aggravating for endurance1 especially if there be not perfect cordiality between the two1 which cannot be the case in money matches4 ,better live wifeless1 or anything else1 rather than marry for money4 #c4 ,,money-,,seekers4--,shame on sordid wife-seekers1 or1 rather1 money-seekers2 for it is not a wife that they seek1 but only filthy lucre6 ,they violate all their other faculties simply to gratify miserly desire4 ,verily such have their reward6 #d4 ,,the ,,penitent ,,hour4--,and to you1 young ladies1 let me say with great emphasis1 that those who court and marry you because you are rich1 will make you rue the day of your pecuniary espousals4 ,they care not for you1 but only your money1 and when they get that1 will be liable to neglect or abuse you1 and probably squander it1 leaving you destitute and abandoning you to your fate4 #f4 ,,industry ,,the ,,sign ,,of ,,nobility4--,marry a working1 industrious young lady1 whose constitution is strong1 flesh solid1 and health unimpaired by confinement1 bad habits1 or late hours4 ,give me a plain1 home-spun farmer's daughter1 and you may have all the rich and fashionable belles of our cities and villages4 #f4 ,,wasp ,,waists4--,marrying small waists is attended with consequences scarcely less disastrous than marrying rich and fashionable girls4 ,an amply developed chest is a sure indication of a naturally vigorous constitution and a strong hold on life2 while small waists indicate small and feeble vital organs1 a delicate constitution1 sickly offspring1 and a short life4 ,beware of them1 therefore1 unless you wish your heart broken by the early death of your wife and children4 ,illustration3 ,,until ,,death ,,us ,,do ,,part4 #g4 ,,marrying ,,talkers4--,in marrying a wit or a talker merely1 though the brilliant scintillations of the former1 or the garrulity of the latter1 may amuse or delight you for the time being1 yet you will derive no permanent satisfaction from these qualities1 for there will be no common bond of kindred feeling to assimilate your souls and hold each spell-bound at the shrine of the other's intellectual or moral excellence4 #h4 ,,the ,,second ,,wife4--,many men1 especially in choosing a second wife1 are governed by her own qualifications as a housekeeper mainly1 and marry industry and economy4 ,though these traits of character are excellent1 yet a good housekeeper may be far from being a good wife4 ,a good housekeeper1 but a poor wife1 may indeed prepare you a good dinner1 and keep her house and children neat and tidy1 yet this is but a part of the office of a wife2 who1 besides all her household duties1 has those of a far higher order to perform4 ,she should soothe you with her sympathies1 divert your troubled mind1 and make the whole family happy by the gentleness of her manners1 and the native goodness of her heart4 ,a husband should also likewise do his part4 #i4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,a ,,man ,,with ,a ,,low1 ,,flat ,,head2 for1 however fascinating1 genteel1 polite1 tender1 plausible or winning he may be1 you will repent the day of your espousal4 #aj4 ,,healthy ,,wires ,,and ,,mothers4--,let girls romp1 and let them range hill and dale in search of flowers1 berries1 or any other object of amusement or attraction2 let them bathe often1 skip the rope1 and take a smart ride on horseback2 often interspersing these amusements with a turn of sweeping or washing1 in order thereby to develop their vital organs1 and thus lay a substantial physical foundation for becoming good wives and mothers4 ,the wildest romps usually make the best wives1 while quiet1 still1 demure1 sedate and sedentary girls are not worth having4 #aa4 ,,small ,,stature4--,in passing1 ,i will just remark1 that good size is important in wives and mothers4 ,a small stature is objectionable in a woman1 because little women usually have too much activity for their strength1 and1 consequently1 feeble constitutions2 hence they die young1 and besides1 being nervous1 suffer extremely as mothers4 #ab4 ,,hard ,,times ,,and ,,matrimony4--,many persons1 particularly young men1 refuse to marry1 especially these hard time1 because they cannot support a wife in the style they wish4 ,to this ,i reply1 that a good wife will care less for the style in which she is supported1 than for you4 ,she will cheerfully conform to your necessities1 and be happy with you in a log-cabin4 ,she will even help you support yourself4 ,to support a good wife1 even if she have children1 is really less expensive than to board alone1 besides being one of the surest means of acquiring property4 #ac4 ,,marrying ,,for ,a ,,home4--,do not1 however1 marry for a home merely1 unless you wish to become even more destitute with one than without one2 for1 it is on the same footing with marrying for money4 ,marry a man for his merit2 and you take no chances4 #ad4 ,,marry ,,to ,,please ,,no ,,one ,,but ,,yourself4--,marriage is a matter exclusively your own2 because you alone must abide its consequences4 ,no person1 not even a parent1 has the least right to interfere or dictate in this matter4 ,i never knew a marriage1 made to please another1 to turn out any otherwise than most unhappily4 #ae4 ,,do ,,not ,,marry ,,to ,,please ,,your ,,parents4 ,parents can not love for their children any more than they can eat or sleep1 or breathe1 or die and go to heaven for them4 ,they may give wholesome advice merely1 but should leave the entire decision to the unbiased judgment of the parties themselves1 who mainly are to experience the consequences of their choice4 ,besides1 such is human nature1 that to oppose lovers1 or to speak against the person beloved1 only increases their desire and determination to marry4 #af4 ,,run-,,away ,,matches4--,many a run-away match would never have taken place but for opposition or interference4 ,parents are mostly to be blamed for these elopements4 ,their children marry partly out of sprite and to be contrary4 ,their very natures tell them that this interference is unjust--as it really is--and this excites combativeness1 firmness1 and self-esteem1 in combination with the social faculties1 to powerful and even blind resistance--which turmoil of the faculties hastens the match4 ,let the affections of a daughter be once slightly enlisted in your favor1 and then let the old folks start an opposition1 and you may feel sure of your prize4 ,if she did not love you before1 she will now1 that you are persecuted4 #ag4 ,,disinheritance4--,never disinherit1 or threaten to disinherit1 a child for marrying against your will4 ,if you wish a daughter not to marry a certain man1 oppose her1 and she will be sure to marry him2 so also in reference to a son4 #ah4 ,,proper ,,training4--,the secret is1 however1 all in a nutshell4 ,let the father properly train his daughter1 and she will bring her first love-letter to him1 and give him an opportunity to cherish a suitable affection1 and to nip an improper one in the germ1 before it has time to do any harm4 #ai4 ,,the ,,fatal ,,mistakes ,,of ,,parents4--,there is1 however one way of effectually preventing an improper match1 and that is1 not to allow your children to associate with any whom you are unwilling they should marry4 ,how cruel as well at unjust to allow a daughter to associate with a young man till the affections of both are riveted1 and then forbid her marrying him4 ,forbid all association1 or consent cheerfully to the marriage4 #bj4 ,,an ,,intemperate ,,lover4--,do not flatter yourselves young women1 that you can wean even an occasional wine drinker from his cups by love and persuasion4 ,ardent spirit at first1 kindles up the fires of love into the fierce flames of burning licentiousness1 which burn out every element of love and destroy every vestige of pure affection4 ,it over-excites the passions1 and thereby finally destroys it1--producing at first1 unbridled libertinism1 and then an utter barrenness of love2 besides reversing the other faculties of the drinker against his own consort1 and those of the wife against her drinking husband4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,first ,,love1 ,,desertion ,,and ,,divorce4 #a4 ,,first ,,love4--,this is the most important direction of all4 ,the first love experiences a tenderness1 a purity and unreservedness1 an exquisiteness1 a devotedness1 and a poetry belonging to no subsequent attachment4 ,love1 like life1 has no second spring4 ,though a second attachment may be accompanied by high moral feeling1 and to a devotedness to the object loved2 yet1 let love be checked or blighted in its first pure emotion1 and the beauty of its spring is irrecoverably withered and lost4 ,this does not mean the simple love of children in the first attachment they call love1 but rather the mature intelligent love of those of suitable age4 ,illustration3 ,,musical ,,culture ,,lesson4 #b4 ,,free ,,from ,,temptations4--,as long as his heart is bound up in its first bundle of love and devotedness--as long as his affections remain reciprocated and uninterrupted--so long temptations cannot take effect4 ,this heart is callous to the charms of others1 and the very idea of bestowing his affections upon another is abhorrent4 ,much more so is animal indulgence1 which is morally impossible4 #c4 ,,second ,,love ,,not ,,constant4--,but let this first love be broken off1 and the flood-gates of passion are raised4 ,temptations now flow in upon him4 ,he casts a lustful eye upon every passing female1 and indulges unchaste imaginations and feelings4 ,although his conscientiousness or intellect may prevent actual indulgence1 yet temptations now take effect1 and render him liable to err2 whereas before they had no power to awaken improper thoughts or feelings4 ,thus many young men find their ruin4 #d4 ,,legal ,,marriage4--,what would any woman give for merely a nominal or legal husband1 just to live with and provide for her1 but who entertained not one spark of love for her1 or whose affections were bestowed upon another8 ,how absurd1 how preposterous the doctrine that the obligations of marriage derive their sacredness from legal enactments and injunctions6 ,how it literally profanes this holy of holies1 and drags down this heaven-born institution from its original1 divine elevation1 to the level of a merely human device4 ,who will dare to advocate the human institution of marriage without the warm heart of a devoted and loving companion6 #e4 ,,legislation4--,but no human legislation can so guard this institution but that it may be broken in spirit1 though1 perhaps1 acceded to in form2 for1 it is the heart which this institution requires4 ,there must be true and devoted affection1 or marriage is a farce and a failure4 #f4 ,,the ,,marriage ,,ceremony ,,and ,,the ,,law ,,governing ,,marriage are for the protection of the individual1 yet a man and woman may be married by law and yet unmarried in spirit4 ,the law may tie together1 and no marriage be consummated4 ,marriage therefore is ,divine1 and whom ,god hath joined together let no man put asunder4 ,a right marriage means a right state of the heart4 ,a careful study of this work will be a great help to both the unmarried and the married4 #g4 ,,desertion ,,and ,,divorce4--,for a young man to court a young woman1 and excite her love till her affections are riveted1 and then 7from sinister motives1 such as1 to marry one richer1 or more handsome71 to leave her1 and try elsewhere1 is the very same crime as to divorce her from all that she holds dear on earth--to root up and pull out her imbedded affections1 and to tear her from her rightful husband4 ,first love is always constant4 ,the second love brings uncertainty--too often desertions before marriage and divorces after marriage4 #h4 ,,the ,,coquet4--,the young woman to play the coquet1 and sport with the sincere affections of an honest and devoted young man1 is one of the highest crimes that human nature can commit4 ,better murder him in body too1 as she does in soul and morals1 and it is the result of previous disappointment1 never the outcome of a sincere first love4 #i4 ,,one ,,marriage4 ,one evidence that second marriages are contrary to the laws of our social nature1 is the fact that almost all step-parents and step-children disagree4 ,now1 what law has been broken1 to induce this penalty8 ,the law of marriage2 and this is one of the ways in which the breach punishes itself4 ,it is much more in accordance with our natural feelings1 especially those of mothers1 that children should be brought up by their own parent4 #aj4 ,,second ,,marriage4--,another proof of this point is1 that second marriage is more a matter of business4 ,i'll give you a home1 if you'll take care of my children4 ,it's a bargain1 is the way most second matches are made4 ,there is little of the poetry of first-love1 and little of the coyness and shrinking diffidence which characterize the first attachment4 ,still these remarks apply almost equally to a second attachment1 as to second marriage4 #aa4 ,,the ,,conclusion ,,of ,,the ,,whole ,,matter4--,let this portion be read and pondered1 and also the one entitled1 ,marry your ,first ,love if possible1 which assigns the cause1 and points out the only remedy1 of licentiousness4 ,as long as the main cause of this vice exists1 and is aggravated by purse-proud1 high-born1 aristocratic parents and friends1 and even by the virtuous and religious1 just so long1 and exactly in the same ratio will this blighting ,sirocco blast the fairest flowers of female innocence and lovliness1 and blight our noblest specimens of manliness4 ,no sin of our land is greater4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,a ,,classic ,,frieze4 ,illustration3 ,,how ,,many ,,young ,,girls ,,are ,,ruined4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,flirting ,,and ,,its ,,dangers4 #a4 ,,no ,,excuse4--,in this country there is no excuse for the young man who seeks the society of the loose and the dissolute4 ,there is at all times and everywhere open to him a society of persons of the opposite sex of his own age and of pure thoughts and lives1 whose conversation will refine him and drive from his bosom ignoble and impure thoughts4 #b4 ,,the ,,dangers4--,the young man who may take pleasure in the fact that he is the hero of half a dozen or more engagements and love episodes1 little realizes that such constant excitement often causes not only dangerously frequent and long-continued nocturnal emissions1 but most painful affections of the testicles4 ,those who show too great familiarity with the other sex1 who entertain lascivious thoughts1 continually exciting the sexual desires1 always suffer a weakening of power and sometimes the actual diseases of degeneration1 chronic inflammation of the gland1 spermatorrhoea1 impotence1 and the like4--,young man1 beware2 your punishment for trifling with the affections of others may cost you a life of affliction4 #c4 ,,remedy4--,do not violate the social laws4 ,do not trifle with the affections of your nature4 ,do not give others countless anguish1 and also do not run the chances of injuring yourself and others for life4 ,the society of refined and pure women is one of the strongest safeguards a young man can have1 and he who seeks it will not only find satisfaction1 but happiness4 ,simple friendship and kind affections for each other will ennoble and benefit4 #d4 ,,the ,,time ,,for ,,marriage4--,when a young man's means permit him to marry1 he should then look intelligently for her with whom he expects to pass the remainder of his life in perfect loyalty1 and in sincerity and singleness of heart4 ,seek her to whom he is ready to swear to be ever true4 #e4 ,,breach ,,of ,,confidence4--,nothing is more certain1 says ,dr4 ,naphey1 to undermine domestic felicity1 and sap the foundation of marital happiness1 than marital infidelity4 ,the risks of disease which a married man runs in impure intercourse are far more serious1 because they not only involve himself1 but his wife and his children4 ,he should know that there is nothing which a woman will not forgive sooner than such a breach of confidence4 ,he is exposed to the plots and is pretty certain sooner or later to fall into the snares of those atrocious parties who subsist on black-mail4 ,and should he escape these complications1 he still must lose self-respect1 and carry about with him the burden of a guilty conscience and a broken vow4 #f4 ,,society ,,rules ,,and ,,customs4--,a young man can enjoy the society of ladies without being a flirt4 ,he can escort ladies to parties1 public places of interest1 social gatherings1 etc41 without showing special devotion to any one special young lady4 ,when he finds the choice of his heart1 then he will be justified to manifest it1 and publicly proclaim it by paying her the compliment1 exclusive attention4 ,to keep a lady's company six months is a public announcement of an engagement4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,word ,,to ,,maidens4 #a4 ,,no ,,young ,,lady who is not willing to assume the responsibility of a true wife1 and be crowned with the sacred diadem of motherhood1 should ever think of getting married4 ,we have too many young ladies to-day who despise maternity1 who openly vow that they will never be burdened with children1 and yet enter matrimony at the first opportunity4 ,what is the result8 ,let echo answer1 ,what8 ,unless a young lady believes that motherhood is noble1 is honorable1 is divine1 and she is willing to carry out that sacred function of her nature1 she had a thousand times better refuse every proposal1 and enter some honorable occupation and wisely die an old maid by choice4 #b4 ,,on ,,the ,,other ,,hand1 ,,young ,,lady1 never enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man until you have conversed with him freely and fully on these relations4 ,learn distinctly his views and feelings and expectations in regard to that purest and most ennobling of all the functions of your nature1 and the most sacred of all intimacies of conjugal love4 ,your self-respect1 your beauty1 your glory1 your heaven1 as a wife1 will be more directly involved in his feelings and views and practices1 in regard to that relation1 than in all other things4 ,as you would not become a weak1 miserable1 imbecile1 unlovable and degraded wife and mother1 in the very prime of your life1 come to a perfect understanding with your chosen one1 ere you commit your person to his keeping in the sacred intimacies of home4 ,beware of that man who1 under pretence of delicacy1 modesty1 and propriety1 shuns conversation with you on this relation1 and on the hallowed function of maternity4 #c4 ,,talk ,,with ,,your ,,intended frankly and openly4 ,remember1 concealment and mystery in him1 towards you1 on all other subjects pertaining to conjugal union might be overlooked1 but if he conceals his views here1 rest assured it bodes no good to your purity and happiness as a wife and mother4 ,you can have no more certain assurance that you are to be victimized1 your soul and body offered up1 slain on the altar of his sensualism1 than his unwillingness to converse with you on subjects so vital to your happiness4 ,unless he is willing to hold his manhood in abeyance to the calls of your nature and to your conditions1 and consecrate its passions and its powers to the elevation and happiness of his wife and children1 your maiden soul had better return to ,god unadorned with the diadem of conjugal and maternal love than that you should become the wife of such man and the mother of his children4 ,illustration3 ,,roman ,,love ,,making4 ,illustration3 ,,uniformed ,,men ,,are ,,always ,,popular4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,popping ,,the ,,question4 #a4 ,,making ,,the ,,declaration4--,there are few emergencies in business and few events in life that bring to man the trying ordeal of proposing to a lady4 ,we should be glad to help the bashful lover in his hours of perplexity1 embarrassment and hesitation1 but unfortunately we cannot pop the question for him1 nor give him a formula by which he may do it4 ,different circumstances and different surroundings compel every lover to be original in his form or mode of proposing4 #b4 ,,bashfulness4--,if a young man is very bashful1 he should write his sentiments in a clear1 frank manner on a neat white sheet of note paper1 enclose it in a plain white envelope and find some way to convey it to the lady's hand4 #c4 ,,the ,,answer4--,if the beloved one's heart is touched and she is in sympathy with the lover1 the answer should be frankly and unequivocally given4 ,if the negative answer is necessary1 it should be done in the kindest and most sympathetic language1 yet definite1 positive and to the point1 and the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit and continue friendly but not familiar4 #d4 ,,saying ,,no ,,for ,,yes4-,if girls are foolish enough to say ,no when they mean ,yes1 they must suffer the consequences which often follow4 ,a man of intelligence and self-respect will not ask a lady twice4 ,it is begging for recognition and lowers his dignity1 should he do so4 ,a lady is supposed to know her heart sufficiently to consider the question to her satisfaction before giving an answer4 #e4 ,,confusion ,,of ,,words ,,and ,,misunderstanding4--,sometimes a man's happiness1 has depended on his manner of popping the question4 ,many a time the girl has said ,no because the question was so worded that the affirmative did not come from the mouth naturally2 and two lives that gravitated toward each other with all their inward force have been thrown suddenly apart1 because the electric keys were not carefully touched4 #f4 ,,scriptural ,,declaration4--,the church is not the proper place to conduct a courtship1 yet the following is suggestive and ingenious4 ,a young gentleman1 familiar with the ,scriptures1 happening to sit in a pew adjoining a young lady for whom he conceived a violent attachment1 made his proposal in this way4 ,he politely handed his neighbor a ,bible open1 with a pin stuck in the following text3 ,second ,epistle of ,john1 verse #e3 ,and ,i beseech thee1 lady1 not as though ,i wrote a new commandment unto thee1 but that we had from the beginning1 that we love one another4 ,she returned it1 pointing to the second chapter of ,ruth1 verse #aj3 ,then she fell on her face1 and bowed herself to the ground1 and said unto him4 ,why have ,i found grace in thine eyes that thou shouldest take knowledge of me1 seeing ,i am a stranger8 ,illustration3 ,,sealing ,,the ,,engagement4 ,from the ,most ,celebrated ,painting in the ,german ,department at the ,world's ,fair4 ,he returned the book1 pointing to the #acth verse of the ,third ,epistle of ,john3 ,having many things to write unto you1 ,i would not write to you with paper and ink1 but trust to come unto you and speak face to face1 that your joy may be full4 ,from the above interview a marriage took place the ensuing month in the same church4 #g4 ,,how ,,jenny ,,was ,,won4 ,on a sunny ,summer morning1 ,early as the dew was dry1 ,up the hill ,i went a berrying2 ,need ,i tell you--tell you why8 ,farmer ,davis had a daughter4 ,and it happened that ,i knew1 ,on each sunny morning1 ,jenny ,up the hill went berrying too4 ,lonely work is picking berries1 ,so ,i joined her on the hill3 ,jenny1 dear1 said ,i1 your basket's ,quite too large for one to fill4 ,so we stayed--we two--to fill it1 ,jenny talking--,i was still4-- ,leading where the hill was steepest1 ,picking berries up the hill4 ,this is up-hill work1 said ,jenny2 ,so is life1 said ,i2 shall we ,climb it each alone1 or1 ,jenny1 ,will you come and climb with me8 ,redder than the blushing berries ,jenny's cheek a moment grew1 ,while without delay she answered1 ,i will come and climb with you4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,peruvian ,,beauty4 #h4 ,a ,,romantic ,,way ,,for ,,proposing4--,in ,peru they have a romantic way of popping the question4 ,the suitor appears on the appointed evening1 with a gaily dressed troubadour under the balcony of his beloved4 ,the singer steps before her flower-bedecked window1 and sings her beauties in the name of her lover4 ,he compares her size to that of a pear tree1 her lips to two blushing rose-buds1 and her womanly form to that of a dove4 ,with assumed harshness the lady asks her lover3 ,who are you1 and what do you want8 ,he answers with ardent confidence3 ,thy love ,i do adore4 ,the stars live in the harmony of love1 and why should not we1 too1 love each other8 ,then the proud beauty gives herself away3 she takes her flower-wreath from her hair and throws it down to her lover1 promising to be his forever4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,bride4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,wedding4 #a4 ,,the ,,proper ,,time4--,much has been printed in various volumes regarding the time of the year1 the influence of the seasons1 etc41 as determining the proper time to set for the wedding day4 ,circumstances must govern these things4 ,to be sure1 it is best to avoid extremes of heat and cold4 ,very hot weather is debilitating1 and below zero is uncomfortable4 #b4 ,,the ,,lady ,,should ,,select ,,the ,,day4--,there is one element in the time that is of great importance1 physically1 especially to the lady4 ,it is the day of the month1 and it is hoped that every lady who contemplates marriage is informed upon the great facts of ovulation4 ,by reading page #bdd she will understand that it is to her advantage to select a wedding day about fifteen or eighteen days after the close of menstruation in the month chosen1 since it is not best that the first child should be conceived during the excitement or irritation of first attempts at congress2 besides modest brides naturally do not wish to become large with child before the season of congratulation and visiting on their return from the wedding tour is over4 ,again1 it is asserted by many of the best writers on this subject1 that the mental condition of either parent at the time of intercourse will be stamped upon the embryo hence it is not only best1 but wise1 that the first-born should not be conceived until several months after marriage1 when the husband and wife have nicely settled in their new home1 and become calm in their experience of each other's society4 #c4 ,,the ,,bridal ,,tour is considered by many newly married couples as a necessary introduction to a life of connubial joy4 ,there is1 in our opinion1 nothing in the custom to recommend it4 ,after the excitement and overwork before and accompanying a wedding1 the period immediately following should be one of rest4 ,again1 the money expended on the ceremony and a tour of the principal cities1 etc41 might1 in most cases1 be applied to a multitude of after-life comforts of far more lasting value and importance4 ,to be sure1 it is not pleasant for the bride1 should she remain at home1 to pass through the ordeal of criticism and vulgar comments of acquaintances and friends1 and hence1 to escape this1 the young couple feel like getting away for a time4 ,undoubtedly the best plan for the great majority1 after this most eventful ceremony1 is to enter their future home at once1 and there to remain in comparative privacy until the novelty of the situation is worn off4 #d4 ,,if ,,the ,,conventional ,,tour is taken1 the husband should remember that his bride cannot stand the same amount of tramping around and sight-seeing that he can4 ,the female organs of generation are so easily affected by excessive exercise of the limbs which support them1 that at this critical period it would be a foolish and cosily experience to drag a lady hurriedly around the country on an extensive and protracted round of sight-seeing or visiting4 ,unless good common-sense is displayed in the manner of spending the honey-moon1 it will prove very untrue to its name4 ,in many cases it lays the foundation for the wife's first and life-long backache4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,gypsy ,,bride4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,advice ,,to ,,newly ,,married ,,couples4 #a4 ,,be ,,ye ,,fruitful ,,and ,,multiply is a ,bible commandment which the children of men habitually obey4 ,however they may disagree on other subjects1 all are in accord on this2 the barbarous1 the civilized1 the high1 the low1 the fierce1 the gentle--all unite in the desire which finds its accomplishment in the reproduction of their kind4 ,who shall quarrel with the ,divinely implanted instinct1 or declare it to be vulgar or unmentionable8 ,it is during the period of the honeymoon that the intensity of this desire1 coupled with the greatest curiosity1 is at its height1 and the unbridled license often given the passions at this time is attended with the most dangerous consequences4 #b4 ,,consummation ,,of ,,marriage4--,the first time that the husband and wife cohabit together after the ceremony has been performed is called the consummation of marriage4 ,many grave errors have been committed by people in this1 when one or both of the contracting parties were not physically or sexually in a condition to carry out the marriage relation4 ,a marriage1 however1 is complete without this in the eyes of the law1 as it is a maxim taken from the ,roman civil statutes that consent1 not cohabitation1 is the binding element in the ceremony4 ,yet1 in most ,states of the ,u4,s41 and in some other countries1 marriage is legally declared void and of no effect where it is not possible to consummate the marriage relation4 ,a divorce may be obtained provided the injured party begins the suit4 #c4 ,,test ,,of ,,virginity4--,the consummation of marriage with a virgin is not necessarily attended with a flow of blood1 and the absence of this sign is not the slightest presumption against her former chastity4 ,the true test of virginity is modesty void of any disagreeable familiarity4 ,a sincere ,christian faith is one of the best recommendations4 #d4 ,,let ,,every ,,man ,,remember that the legal right of marriage does not carry with it the moral right to injure for life the loving companion he has chosen4 ,ignorance may be the cause1 but every man before he marries should know something of the physiology and the laws of health1 and we here give some information which is of very great importance to every newly-married man4 #e4 ,,sensuality4--,lust crucifies love4 ,the young sensual husband is generally at fault4 ,passion sways and the duty to bride and wife is not thought of1 and so a modest young wife is often actually forced and assaulted by the unsympathetic haste of her husband4 ,an amorous man in that way soon destroys his own love1 and thus is laid the foundation for many difficulties that soon develop trouble and disturb the happiness of both4 #f4 ,,abuse ,,after ,,marriage4--,usually marriage is consummated within a day or two after the ceremony1 but this is gross injustice to the bride4 ,in most cases she is nervous1 timid1 and exhausted by the duties of preparation for the wedding1 and in no way in a condition1 either in body or mind1 for the vital change which the married relation bring upon her4 ,many a young husband often lays the foundation of many diseases of the womb and of the nervous system in gratifying his unchecked passions without a proper regard for his wife's exhausted condition4 #g4 ,,the ,,first ,,conjugal ,,approaches are usually painful to the new wife1 and no enjoyment to her follows4 ,great caution and kindness should be exercised4 ,a young couple rushing together in their animal passion soon produce a nervous and irritating condition which ere long brings apathy1 indifference1 if not dislike4 ,true love and a high regard for each other will temper passion into moderation4 #h4 ,,were ,,the ,,above ,,injunctions ,,heeded fully and literally it would be folly to say more1 but this would be omitting all account of the bridegroom's new position1 the power of his passion1 and the timidity of the fair creature who is wondering what fate has in store for her trembling modesty4 ,to be sure1 there are some women who are possessed of more forward natures and stronger desires than others4 ,in such cases there may be less trouble4 #i4 ,a ,,common ,,error4--,the young husband may have read in some treatise on physiology that the hymen in a virgin is the great obstacle to be overcome4 ,he is apt to conclude that this is all1 that some force will be needed to break it down1 and that therefore an amount of urgency even to the degree of inflicting considerable pain is justifiable4 ,this is usually wrong4 ,it rarely constitutes any obstruction and1 even when its rupturing may be necessary1 it alone seldom causes suffering4 ,there are sometimes certain deformities of the vagina1 but no woman should knowingly seek matrimonial relations when thus afflicted4 ,we quote from ,dr4 ,c4,a4 ,huff the following3 #aj4 ,,what ,,is ,,it1 ,,then1 ,,that ,,usually ,,causes distress to many women1 whether a bride or a long-time wife8 ,the answer is1 ,simply those conditions of the organs in which they are not properly prepared1 by anticipation and desire1 to receive a foreign body4 ,the modest one craves only refined and platonic love at first1 and if husbands1 new and old1 would only realize this plain truth1 wife-torturing would cease and the happiness of each one of all human pairs vastly increase4 #aa4 ,,the ,,conditions ,,of ,,the ,,female organs depend upon the state of the mind just as much as in the case of the husband4 ,the male1 however1 being more sensual1 is more quickly roused4 ,she is far less often or early ready4 ,in its unexcited state the vagina is lax1 its walls are closed together1 and their surfaces covered by but little lubricating secretion4 ,the chaster one of the pair has no desire that this sacred vestibule to the great arcana of procreation shall be immediately and roughly invaded4 ,this1 then1 is the time for all approaches by the husband to be of the most delicate1 considerate1 and refined description possible4 ,the quietest and softest demeanor1 with gentle and re-assuring words1 are all that should be attempted at first4 ,the wedding day has probably been one of fatigue1 and it is foolish to go farther4 #ab4 ,,for ,,more ,,than ,,one ,,night it will be wise1 indeed1 if the wife's confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient1 delicate1 and prolonged courting1 as before the marriage engagement4 ,how long should this period of waiting be can only be decided by the circumstances of any case4 ,the bride will ultimately deny no favor which is sought with full deference to her modesty1 and in connection with which bestiality is not exhibited4 ,her nature is that of delicacy2 her affection is of a refined character2 if the love and conduct offered to her are a careful effort to adapt roughness and strength to her refinement and weakness1 her admiration and responsive love will be excited to the utmost4 #ac4 ,,when ,,that ,,moment ,,arrives when the bride finds she can repose perfect confidence in the kindness of her husband1 that his love is not purely animal1 and that no violence will be attempted1 the power of her affection for him will surely assert itself2 the mind will act on those organs which nature has endowed to fulfil the law of her being1 the walls of the vagina will expand1 and the glands at the entrance will be fully lubricated by a secretion of mucous which renders congress a matter of comparative ease4 #ad4 ,,when ,,this ,,responsive ,,enlargement and lubrication are fully realized1 it is made plain why the haste and force so common to first and subsequent coition1 is1 as it has been justly called1 nothing but legalized rape4 ,young husband1 ,prove your manhood1 not by yielding to unbridled lust and cruelty1 but by the exhibition of true power in self-control and patience with the helpless being confided to your care4 ,prolong the delightful season of courting into and through wedded life and rich shall be your reward4 #ae4 ,a ,,want ,,of ,,desire may often prevail1 and may be caused by loss of sleep1 study1 constant thought1 mental disturbance1 anxiety1 self-abuse1 excessive use of tobacco or alcoholic drink1 etc4 ,overwork may cause debility2 a man may not have an erection for months1 yet it may not be a sign of debility1 sexual lethargy or impotence4 ,get the mind and the physical constitution in proper condition1 and most all these difficulties will disappear4 ,good athletic exercise by walking1 riding1 or playing croquet1 or any other amusement1 will greatly improve the condition4 ,a good rest1 however1 will be necessary to fully restore the mind and the body1 then the natural condition of the sexual organs will be resumed4 #af4 ,,having ,,twins4--,having twins is undoubtedly hereditary and descends from generation to generation1 and persons who have twins are generally those who have great sexual vigor4 ,it is generally the result of a second cohabitation immediately following the first1 but some parents have twins who cohabit but once during several days4 #ag4 ,,proper ,,intercourse4--,the right relation of a newly-married couple will rather increase than diminish love4 ,to thus offer up the maiden on the altar of love and affection only swells her flood of joy and bliss2 whereas1 on the other hand1 sensuality humbles1 debases1 pollutes1 and never elevates4 ,young husbands should wait for an invitation to the banquet and they will be amply paid by the very pleasure sought4 ,invitation or permission delights1 and possession by force degrades4 ,the right-minded bridegroom will postpone the exercise of his nuptial rights for a few days1 and allow his young wife to become rested from the preparation and fatigue of the wedding1 and become accustomed to the changes in her new relations of life4 #ah4 ,,rightly ,,beginning ,,sexual ,,life4--,intercourse promotes all the functions of the body and mind1 but rampant just and sexual abuses soon destroy the natural pleasures of intercourse1 and unhappiness will be the result4 ,remember that intercourse should not become the polluted purpose of marriage4 ,to be sure1 rational enjoyment benefits and stimulates love1 but the pleasure of each other's society1 standing together on all questions of mutual benefit1 working hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder in the battle of life1 raising a family of beautiful children1 sharing each other's joys and sorrows1 are the things that bring to every couple the best1 purest1 and noblest enjoyment that ,god has bestowed upon man4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,turkish ,,harem4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,sexual ,,proprieties ,,and ,,improprieties4 #a4 ,to have offspring is not to be regarded as a luxury1 but as a great primary necessity of health and happiness1 of which every fully-developed man and woman should have a fair share1 while it cannot be denied that the ignorance of the necessity of sexual intercourse to the health and virtue of both man and woman is the most fundamental error in medical and moral philosophy4 #b4 ,in a state of pure nature1 where man would have his sexual instincts under full and natural restraint1 there would be little1 if any1 licentiousness1 and children would be the result of natural desire1 and not the accidents of lust4 #c4 ,this is an age of sensuality2 unnatural passions cultivated and indulged4 ,young people in the course of their engagement often sow the seed of serious excesses4 ,this habit of embracing1 sitting on the lover's lap1 leaning on his breast1 long and uninterrupted periods of secluded companionship1 have become so common that it is amazing how a young lady can safely arrive at the wedding day4 ,while this conduct may safely terminate with the wedding day1 yet it cultivates the tendency which often results in excessive indulgencies after the honey-moon is over4 #d4 ,,separate ,,beds4--,many writers have vigorously championed as a reform the practice of separate beds for husband and wife4 ,while we would not recommend such separation1 it is no doubt very much better for both husband and wife1 in case the wife is pregnant4 ,where people are reasonably temperate1 no such ordinary precautions as separate sleeping places may be necessary4 ,but in case of pregnancy it will add rest to the mother and add vigor to the unborn child4 ,sleeping together1 however1 is natural and cultivates true affection1 and it is physiologically true that in very cold weather life is prolonged by husband and wife sleeping together4 #e4 ,,the ,,authority ,,of ,,the ,,wife4--,let the wife judge whether she desires a separate couch or not4 ,she has the superior right to control her own person4 ,in such diseases as consumption1 or other severe or lingering diseases1 separate beds should always be insisted upon4 #f4 ,,the ,,time ,,for ,,indulgence4--,the health of the generative functions depends upon exercise1 just the same as any other vital organ4 ,intercourse should be absolutely avoided just before or after meals1 or just after mental excitement or physical exercise4 ,no wife should indulge her husband when he is under the influence of alcoholic stimulants1 for idiocy and other serious maladies are liable to be visited upon the offspring4 #g4 ,,restraint ,,during ,,pregnancy4--,there is no question but what moderate indulgence during the first few months of pregnancy does not result in serious harm2 but people who excessively satisfy their ill-governed passions are liable to pay a serious penalty4 #h4 ,,miscarriage4--,if a woman is liable to abortion or miscarriage1 absolute abstinence is the only remedy4 ,no sexual indulgence during pregnancy can be safely tolerated4 #i4 ,it is better for people not to marry until they are of proper age4 ,it is a physiological fact that men seldom reach the full maturity or their virile power before the age of twenty-five1 and the female rarely attains the full vigor of her sexual powers before the age of twenty4 #aj4 ,,illicit ,,pleasures4--,the indulgence of illicit pleasures1 says ,dr4 ,s4 ,pancoast1 sooner or later is sure to entail the most loathsome diseases on their votaries4 ,among these diseases are ,gonorrhoea1 ,syphilis1 ,spermatorrhoea 7waste of semen by daily and nightly involuntary emissions71 ,satyriasis 7a species of sexual madness1 or a sexual diabolism1 causing men to commit rape and other beastly acts and outrages1 not only on women and children1 but men and animals1 as sodomy1 pederasty1 etc471 ,nymphomania 7causing women to assail every man they meet1 and supplicate and excite him to gratify their lustful passions1 or who resort to means of sexual pollutions1 which is impossible to describe without shuddering71 together with spinal diseases and many disorders of the most distressing and disgusting character filling the bones with rottenness1 and eating away the flesh by gangrenous ulcers1 until the patient dies1 a horrible mass of putridity and corruption4 #aa4 ,,sensuality4--,sensuality is not love1 but an unbridled desire which kills the soul4 ,sensuality will drive away the roses in the cheeks of womanhood1 undermine health and produce a brazen countenance that can be read by all men4 ,the harlot may commit her sins in the dark1 but her countenance reveals her character and her immorality is an open secret4 #ab4 ,,sexual ,,temperance4--,all excesses and absurdities of every kind should be carefully avoided4 ,many of the female disorders which often revenge themselves in the cessation of all sexual pleasure are largely due to the excessive practice of sexual indulgence4 #ac4 ,,frequency4--,some writers claim that intercourse should never occur except for the purpose of childbearing but such restraint is not natural and consequently not conducive to health4 ,there are many conditions in which the health of the mother and offspring must be respected4 ,it is now held that it is nearer a crime than a virtue to prostitute woman to the degradation of breeding animals by compelling her to bring into life more offspring than can be born healthy1 or be properly cared for and educated4 #ad4 ,in this work we shall attempt to specify no rule1 but simply give advice as to the health and happiness of both man and wife4 ,a man should not gratify his own desires at the expense of his wife's health1 comfort or inclination4 ,many men no doubt harass their wives and force many burdens upon their slender constitutions4 ,but it is a great sin and no true husband will demand unreasonable recognition4 ,the wife when physically able1 however1 should bear with her husband4 ,man is naturally sensitive on this subject1 and it takes but little to alienate his affections and bring discover into the family4 #ae4 ,the best writers lay down the rule for the government of the marriage-bed1 that sexual indulgence should only occur about once in a week or ten days1 and this of course applies only to those who enjoy a fair degree of health4 ,but it is a hygienic and physiological fact that those who indulge only once a month receive a far greater degree of the intensity of enjoyment than those who indulge their passions more frequently4 ,much pleasure is lost by excesses where much might be gained by temperance giving rest to the organs for the accumulation of nervous force4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,perpetuate ,,the ,,honey-,,moon4 #a4 ,,continue ,,your ,,courtship4--,like causes produce like effects4 #b4 ,,neglect ,,of ,,your ,,companion4--,do not assume a right to neglect your companion more after marriage than you did before4 #c4 ,,secrets4--,have no secrets that you keep from your companion4 ,a third party is always disturbing4 #d4 ,,avoid ,,the ,,appearance ,,of ,,evil4--,in matrimonial matters it is often that the mere appearance contains all the evil4 ,love1 as soon as it rises above calculation and becomes love1 is exacting4 ,it gives all1 and demands all4 #e4 ,,once ,,married1 ,,never ,,open ,,your ,,mind ,,to ,,any ,,change4 ,if you keep the door of your purpose closed1 evil or even desirable changes cannot make headway without help4 #f4 ,,keep ,,step ,,in ,,mental ,,development4--,a tree that grows for forty years may take all the sunlight from a tree that stops growing at twenty4 #g4 ,,keep ,a ,,lively ,,interest ,,in ,,the ,,business ,,of ,,the ,,home4--,two that do not pull together are weaker than either alone4 #h4 ,,gauge ,,your ,,expenses ,,by ,,your ,,revenues4--,love must eat4 ,the sheriff often levies on ,cupid long before he takes away the old furniture4 #i4 ,,start ,,from ,,where ,,your ,,parents ,,started ,,rather ,,than ,,from ,,where ,,they ,,now ,,are4--,hollow and showy boarding often furnishes the too strong temptation1 while the quietness of a humble home would cement the hearts beyond risk4 #aj4 ,,avoid ,,debt4--,spend your own money1 but earn it first1 then it will not be necessary to blame any one for spending other people's4 #aa4 ,,do ,,not ,,both ,,get ,,angry ,,at ,,the ,,same ,,time4--,remember1 it takes two to quarrel4 #ab4 ,,do ,,not ,,allow ,,yourself ,,ever ,,to ,,come ,,to ,,an ,,open ,,rupture4--,things unsaid need less repentance4 #ac4 ,,study ,,to ,,conform ,,your ,,tastes ,,and ,,habits ,,to ,,the ,,tastes ,,and ,,habits ,,of ,,your ,,companion4--,if two walk together1 they must agree4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,be ,a ,,good ,,wife4 #a4 ,,reverence ,,your ,,husband4--,he sustains by ,god's order a position of dignity as head of a family1 head of the woman4 ,any breaking down of this order indicates a mistake in the union1 or a digression from duty4 #b4 ,,love ,,him4--,a wife loves as naturally as the sun shines4 ,love is your best weapon4 ,you conquered him with that in the first place4 ,you can reconquer by the same means4 #c4 ,,do ,,not ,,conceal ,,your ,,love ,,from ,,him4--,if he is crowded with care1 and too busy to seem to heed your love1 you need to give all the greater attention to securing his knowledge of your love4 ,if you intermit he will settle down into a hard1 cold life with increased rapidity4 ,your example will keep the light on his conviction4 ,the more he neglects the fire on the hearth1 the more carefully must you feed and guard it4 ,it must not be allowed to go out4 ,once out you must sit ever in darkness and in the cold4 #d4 ,,cultivate ,,the ,,modesty ,,and ,,delicacy ,,of ,,your ,,youth4--,the relations and familiarity of wedded life may seem to tone down the sensitive and retiring instincts of girlhood1 but nothing can compensate for the loss of these4 ,however1 much men may admire the public performance of gifted women1 they do not desire that boldness and dash in a wife4 ,the holy blush of a maiden's modesty is more powerful in hallowing and governing a home than the heaviest armament that ever a warrior bore4 #e4 ,,cultivate ,,personal ,,attractiveness4--,this means the storing of your mind with a knowledge of passing events1 and with a good idea of the world's general advance4 ,if you read nothing1 and make no effort to make yourself attractive1 you will soon sink down into a dull hack of stupidity4 ,if your husband never hears from you any words of wisdom1 or of common information1 he will soon hear nothing from you4 ,dress and gossips soon wear out4 ,if your memory is weak1 so that it hardly seems worth while to read1 that is additional reason for reading4 ,illustration3 ,,talking ,,before ,,marriage4 #f4 ,,cultivate ,,physical ,,attractiveness4--,when you were encouraging the attentions of him whom you now call husband1 you did not neglect any item of dress or appearance that could help you4 ,your hair was always in perfect training4 ,you never greeted him with a ragged or untidy dress or soiled hands4 ,it is true that your market is made1 but you cannot afford to have it broken4 ,cleanliness and good taste will attract now as they did formerly4 ,keep yourself at your best4 ,make the most of physical endowments4 ,neatness and order break the power of poverty4 #g4 ,,study ,,your ,,husband',s ,,character4--,he has his peculiarities4 ,he has no right to many of them1 and you need to know them2 thus you can avoid many hours of friction4 ,the good pilot steers around the sunken rocks that lie in the channel4 ,the engineer may remove them1 not the pilot4 ,you are more pilot than engineer4 ,consult his tastes4 ,it is more important to your home1 that you should please him than anybody else4 #h4 ,,practice ,,economy4--,many families are cast out of peace into grumbling and discord by being compelled to fight against poverty4 ,when there are no great distresses to be endured or accounted for1 complaint and fault-finding are not so often evoked4 ,keep your husband free from the annoyance of disappointed creditors1 and he will be more apt to keep free from annoying you4 ,to toil hard for bread1 to fight the wolf from the door1 to resist impatient creditors1 to struggle against complaining pride at home1 is too much to ask of one man4 ,a crust that is your own is a feast1 while a feast that is purloined from unwilling creditors if a famine4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,be ,a ,,good ,,husband4 #a4 ,,show ,,your ,,love4--,all life manifests itself4 ,as certainly as a live tree will put forth leaves in the spring1 so certainly will a living love show itself4 ,many a noble man toils early and late to earn bread and position for his wife4 ,he hesitates at no weariness for her sake4 ,he justly thinks that such industry and providence give a better expression of his love than he could by caressing her and letting the grocery bills go unpaid4 ,he fills the cellar and pantry4 ,he drives and pushes his business4 ,he never dreams that he is actually starving his wife to death4 ,he may soon have a woman left to superintend his home1 but his wife is dying4 ,she must be kept alive by the same process that called her into being4 ,recall and repeat the little attentions and delicate compliments that once made you so agreeable1 and that fanned her love into a consuming flame4 ,it is not beneath the dignity of the skillful physician to study all the little symptoms1 and order all the little round of attentions that check the waste of strength and brace the staggering constitution4 ,it is good work for a husband to cherish his wife4 ,illustration3 ,,talking ,,after ,,marriage4 #b4 ,,consult ,,with ,,your ,,wife4--,she is apt to be as right as you are1 and frequently able to add much to your stock of wisdom4 ,in any event she appreciates your attentions4 #c4 ,,study ,,to ,,keep ,,her ,,young4--,it can be done4 ,it is not work1 but worry1 that wears4 ,keep a brave1 true heart between her and all harm4 #d4 ,,help ,,to ,,bear ,,her ,,burdens4--,bear one another's burdens1 and so fulfill the law of love4 ,love seeks opportunities to do for the loved object4 ,she has the constant care of your children4 ,she is ordained by the ,lord to stand guard over them4 ,not a disease can appear in the community without her taking the alarm4 ,not a disease can come over the threshold without her instantly springing into the mortal combat4 ,if there is a deficiency anywhere it comes out of her pleasure4 ,her burdens are everywhere4 ,look for them1 that you may lighten them4 #e4 ,,make ,,yourself ,,helpful ,,by ,,thoughtfulness4--,remember to bring into the house your best smile and sunshine4 ,it is good for you1 and it cheers up the home4 ,there is hardly a nook in the house that has not been carefully hunted through to drive out everything that might annoy you4 ,the dinner which suits1 or ought to suit you1 has not come on the table of itself4 ,it represents much thoughtfulness and work4 ,you can do no more manly thing than find some way of expressing1 in word or look1 your appreciation of it4 #f4 ,,express ,,your ,,will1 ,,not ,,by ,,commands1 ,,but ,,by ,,suggestions4--,it is ,god's order that you should be the head of the family4 ,you are clothed with authority4 ,but this does not authorize you to be stern and harsh1 as an officer in the army4 ,your authority is the dignity of love4 ,when it is not clothed in love it ceases to have the substance of authority4 ,a simple suggestion that may embody a wish1 an opinion or an argument1 becomes one who reigns over such a kingdom as yours4 #g4 ,,seek ,,to ,,refine ,,your ,,nature4--,it is no slander to say that many men have wives much more refined than themselves4 ,this is natural in the inequalities of life4 ,other qualities may compensate for any defect here4 ,but you need have no defect in refinement4 ,preserve the gentleness and refinement of your wife as a rich legacy for your children1 and in so doing you will lift yourself to higher levels4 #h4 ,,be ,a ,,gentleman ,,as ,,well ,,as ,a ,,husband4--,the signs and bronze and callouses of toil are no indications that you are not a gentleman4 ,the soul of gentlemanliness is a kindly feeling toward others1 that prompts one to secure their comfort4 ,that is why the thoughtful peasant lover is always so gentlemanly1 and in his love much above himself4 #i4 ,,stay ,,at ,,home4--,habitual absence during the evenings is sure to bring sorrow4 ,if your duty or business calls you you have the promise that you will be kept in all your ways4 ,but if you go out to mingle with other society1 and leave your wife at home alone1 or with the children and servants1 know that there is no good in store for you4 ,she has claims upon you that you can not afford to allow to go to protest4 ,reverse the case4 ,you sit down alone after having waited all day for your wife's return1 and think of her as reveling in gay society1 and see if you can keep out all the doubts as to what takes her away4 ,if your home is not as attractive as you want it1 you are a principal partner4 ,set yourself about the work of making it attractive4 #aj4 ,,take ,,your ,,wife ,,with ,,you ,,into ,,society4--,seclusion begets morbidness4 ,she needs some of the life that comes from contact with society4 ,she must see how other people appear and act4 ,it often requires an exertion for her to go out of her home1 but it is good for her and for you4 ,she will bring back more sunshine4 ,it is wise to rest sometimes4 ,when the ,arab stops for his dinner he unpacks his camel4 ,treat your wife with as much consideration4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,tired ,,of ,,life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,cause ,,of ,,family ,,troubles4 #a4 ,,much ,,better ,,to ,,be ,,alone4--,he who made man said it is not good for him to be alone2 but it is much better to be alone1 than it is to be in some kinds of company4 ,many couples who felt unhappy when they were apart1 have been utterly miserable when together2 and scores who have been ready to go through fire and water to get married1 have been willing to run the risk of fire and brimstone to get divorced4 ,it is by no means certain that because persons are wretched before marriage they will be happy after it4 ,the wretchedness of many homes1 and the prevalence of immorality and divorce is a sad commentary on the evils which result from unwise marriages4 #b4 ,,unavoidable ,,evils4--,there are plenty of unavoidable evils in this world1 and it is mournful to think of the multitudes who are preparing themselves for needless disappointments1 and who yet have no fear1 and are unwilling to be instructed1 cautioned or warned4 ,to them the experience of mature life is of little account compared with the wisdom of ardent and enthusiastic youth4 #c4 ,,matrimonial ,,infelicity4--,one great cause of matrimonial infelicity is the hasty marriages of persons who have no adequate knowledge of each other's characters4 ,two strangers become acquainted1 and are attracted to each other1 and without taking half the trouble to investigate or inquire that a prudent man would take before buying a saddle horse1 they are married4 ,in a few weeks or months it is perhaps found that one of the parties was married already1 or possibly that the man is drunken or vicious1 or the woman anything but what she should be4 ,then begins the bitter part of the experience3 shame1 disgrace1 scandal1 separation1 sin and divorce1 all come as the natural results of a rash and foolish marriage4 ,a little time spent in honest1 candid1 and careful preliminary inquiry and investigations would have saved the trouble4 #d4 ,,the ,,climax4--,it has been said that a man is never utterly ruined until he has married a bad woman4 ,so the climax of woman's miseries and sorrows may be said to come only when she is bound with that bond which should be her chiefest blessing and her highest joy1 but which may prove her deepest sorrow and her bitterest curse4 #e4 ,,the ,,folly ,,of ,,follies4--,there are some lessons which people are very slow to learn1 and yet which are based upon the simple principles of common-sense4 ,a young lady casts her eye upon a young man4 ,she says1 ,i mean to have that man4 ,she plies her arts1 engages his affections1 marries him1 and secures for herself a life of sorrow and disappointment1 ending perhaps in a broken up home or an early grave4 ,any prudent1 intelligent person of mature age1 might have warned or cautioned her2 but she sought no advice1 and accepted no admonition4 ,a young man may pursue a similar course with equally disastrous results4 #f4 ,,hap-,,hazard4--,many marriages are undoubtedly arranged by what may be termed the accident of locality4 ,persons live near each other1 become acquainted1 and engage themselves to those whom they never would have selected as their companions in life if they had wider opportunities of acquaintance4 ,within the borders of their limited circle they make a selection which may be wise or may be unwise4 ,they have no means of judging1 they allow no one else to judge for them4 ,the results are sometimes happy and sometimes unhappy in the extreme4 ,it is well to act cautiously in doing what can be done but once4 ,it is not a pleasant experience for a person to find out a mistake when it is too late to rectify it4 #g4 ,,we ,,all ,,change4--,when two persons of opposite sex are often thrown together they are very naturally attracted to each other1 and are liable to imbibe the opinion that they are better fitted for life-long companionship than any other two persons in the world4 ,this may be the case1 or it may not be4 ,there are a thousand chances against such a conclusion to one in favor of it4 ,but even if at the present moment these two persons were fitted to be associated1 no one can tell whether the case will be the same five or ten years hence4 ,men change2 women change2 they are not the same they were ten years ago2 they are not the same they will be ten years hence4 #h4 ,,the ,,safe ,,rule4--,do not be in a hurry2 take your time and consider well before you allow your devotion to rule you4 ,study first your character1 then study the character of her whom you desire to marry4 ,love works mysteriously1 and if it will bear careful and cool investigation1 it will no doubt thrive under adversity4 ,when people marry they unite their destinies for the better or the worse4 ,marriage is a contract for life and will never bear a hasty conclusion4 ,never be in a hurry6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,jealousy--,,its ,,cause ,,and ,,cure4 ,trifles1 light as air ,are to the jealous confirmations strong1 ,as proofs of holy writ4--,,shakespeare4 ,nor ,jealousy ,was understood1 the injur'd lover's hell4--,,milton ,o1 beware1 my lord1 of jealousy2 ,it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock ,the meat it feeds on4--,,shakespeare4 #a4 ,,definition4--,jealousy is an accidental passion1 for which the faculty indeed is unborn4 ,in its nobler form and in its nobler motives it arises from love1 and in its lower form it arises from the deepest and darkest ,pit of ,satan4 #b4 ,,how ,,developed4--,jealousy arises either from weakness1 which from a sense of its own want of lovable qualities is not convinced of being sure of its cause1 or from distrust1 which thinks the beloved person capable of infidelity4 ,sometimes all these motives may act together4 #c4 ,,noblest ,,jealousy4--,the noblest jealousy1 if the term noble is appropriate1 is a sort of ambition or pride of the loving person who feels it is an insult that another one should assume it as possible to supplant his love1 or it is the highest degree of devotion which sees a declaration of its object in the foreign invasion1 as it were1 of his own altar4 ,jealousy is always a sign that a little more wisdom might adorn the individual without harm4 #d4 ,,the ,,lowest ,,jealousy4--,the lowest species of jealousy is a sort of avarice of envy which1 without being capable of love1 at least wishes to possess the object of its jealousy alone by the one party assuming a sort of property right over the other4 ,this jealousy1 which might be called the ,satanic1 is generally to be found with old withered husbands1 whom the devil has prompted to marry young women and who forthwith dream night and day of cuck-old's horns4 ,these ,argus-eyed keepers are no longer capable of any feeling that could be called love1 they are rather as a rule heartless house-tyrants1 and are in constant dread that some one may admire or appreciate his unfortunate slave4 #e4 ,,want ,,of ,,lore4--,the general conclusion will be that jealousy is more the result of wrong conditions which cause uncongenial unions1 and which through moral corruption artificially create distrust than a necessary accompaniment of love4 ,illustration3 ,,seeking ,,the ,,life ,,of ,a ,,rival4 #f4 ,,result ,,of ,,poor ,,opinion4--,jealousy is a passion with which those are most afflicted who are the least worthy of love4 ,an innocent maiden who enters marriage will not dream of getting jealous2 but all her innocence cannot secure her against the jealousy of her husband if he has been a libertine4 ,those are wont to be the most jealous who have the consciousness that they themselves are most deserving of jealousy4 ,most men in consequence of their present education and corruption have so poor an opinion not only of the male1 but even of the female sex1 that they believe every woman at every moment capable of what they themselves have looked for among all and have found among the most unfortunate1 the prostitutes4 ,no libertine can believe in the purity of woman2 it is contrary to nature4 ,a libertine therefore cannot believe in the loyalty of a faithful wife4 #g4 ,,when ,,justifiable4--,there may be occasions where jealousy is justifiable4 ,if a woman's confidence has been shaken in her husband1 or a husband's confidence has been shaken in his wife by certain signs or conduct1 which have no other meaning but that of infidelity1 then there is just cause for jealousy4 ,there must1 however1 be certain proof as evidence of the wife's or husband's immoral conduct4 ,imaginations or any foolish absurdities should have no consideration whatever1 and let everyone have confidence until his or her faith has been shaken by the revelation of absolute facts4 #h4 ,,caution ,,and ,,advice4--,no couple should allow their associations to develop into an engagement and marriage if either one has any inclination to jealousy4 ,it shows invariably a want of sufficient confidence1 and that want of confidence1 instead of being diminished after marriage1 is liable to increase1 until by the aid of the imagination and wrong interpretation the home is made a hell and divorce a necessity4 ,let it be remembered1 there can be no true love without perfect and absolute confidence1 jealousy is always the sign of weakness or madness4 ,avoid a jealous disposition1 for it is an open acknowledgment of a lack of faith4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,improvement ,,of ,,offspring4 ,why ,bring ,into the ,world ,idiots1 ,fools1 ,criminals and ,lunatics8 #a4 ,,the ,,right ,,way4--,when mankind will properly love ,,and marry and then rightly generate1 carry1 nurse and educate their children1 will they in deed and in truth carry out the holy and happy purpose of their ,creator4 ,see those miserable and depraved scape-goats of humanity1 the demented simpletons1 the half-crazy1 unbalanced multitudes which infest our earth1 and fill our prisons with criminals and our poor-houses with paupers4 ,oh6 the boundless capabilities and perfections of our ,god-like nature and1 alas6 its deformities6 ,all is the result of the ignorance or indifference of parents4 ,as long as children are the accidents of lust instead of the premeditated objects of love1 so long will the offspring deteriorate and the world be cursed with deformities1 monstrosities1 unhumanities and cranks4 #b4 ,,each ,,after ,,its ,,kind4--,like parents like children4 ,in their own image beget they them4 ,in what other can they8 ,how can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit8 ,how can animal propensities in parents generate other than depraved children1 or moral purity beget beings other than as holy by nature as those at whose hands they received existence and constitution8 #c4 ,,as ,,are ,,the ,,parents1 physically1 mentally and morally when they stamp their own image and likeness upon progeny1 so will be the constitution of that progeny4 #d4 ,,just ,,as ,,the ,,twig ,,is ,,bent ,,the ,,tree',s ,,inclined4--,yet the bramble cannot be bent to bear delicious peaches1 nor the sycamore to bear grain4 ,education is something1 but parentage is everything2 because it dyes in the wool and thereby exerts an influence on character almost infinitely more powerful than all other conditions put together4 #e4 ,,healthy ,,and ,,beautiful ,,children4--,thoughtless mortal6 ,before you allow the first goings forth of love1 learn what the parental conditions in you mean1 and you will confer a great boon upon the prospective bone of your bone1 and flesh of your flesh6 ,if it is in your power to be the parent of beautiful1 healthy1 moral and talented children instead of diseased and depraved1 is it not your imperious duty then1 to impart to them that physical power1 moral perfection1 and intellectual capability1 which shall ennoble their lives and make them good people and good citizens8 #f4 ,,pause ,,and ,,tremble4--,prospective parents6 ,will you trifle with the dearest interests of your children8 ,will you in matters thus momentous1 head-long rush ,where angels dare not tread1 ,seeking only mere animal indulgence8--,well might cherubim shrink from assuming responsibilities thus momentous ,yet1 how many parents tread this holy ground completely unprepared1 and almost as thoughtlessly and ,ignorantly as brutes--entailing even loathsome diseases and sensual propensities upon the fruit of their own bodies4 ,whereas they are bound1 by obligations the most imperious to bestow on them a good physical organization1 along with a pure1 moral1 and strong intellectual constitution1 or else not to become parents6 ,especially since it is easier to generate human angels than devils incarnate4 #g4 ,,hereditary ,,descent4--,this great law of things1 ,hereditary ,descent1 fully proves and illustrates in any required number and variety or cases1 showing that progeny inherits the constitutional natures and characters1 mental and physical1 of parents1 including pre-dispositions to consumption1 insanity1 all sorts of disease1 etc41 as well as longevity1 strength1 stature1 looks1 disposition1 talents1--all that is constitutional4 ,from what other source do or can they come8 ,indeed1 who can doubt a truth as palpable as that children inherit some1 and if some1 therefore all1 the physical and mental nature and constitutor of parents1 thus becoming almost their fac-similes8 #h4 ,,illustrations4--,a whaleman was severely hurt by a harpooned and desperate whale turning upon the small boat1 and1 by his monstrous jaws1 smashing it to pieces1 one of which1 striking him in his right side1 crippled him for life4 ,when sufficiently recovered1 he married1 according to previous engagement1 and his daughter1 born in due time1 and closely resembling him in looks1 constitution and character1 has a weak and sore place corresponding in location with that of the injury of her father4 ,tubercles have been found in the lungs of infants at birth1 born of consumptive parents1--a proof1 clear and demonstrative1 that children inherit the several states of parental physiology existing at the time they received their physiological constitution4 ,the same is true of the transmission of those diseases consequent on the violation of the law of chastity1 and the same conclusion established thereby4 #i4 ,,parent',s ,,participation4--,each parent furnishing at indispensable portion of the materials of life1 and somehow or other1 contributes parentally to the formation of the constitutional character of their joint product1 appears far more reasonable1 than to ascribe1 as many do1 the whole to either some to paternity1 others to maternity4 ,still this decision go which way it may1 does not affect the great fact that children inherit both the physiology and the mentality existing in parents at the time they received being and constitution4 #aj4 ,,illegitimates ,,or ,,bastards also furnish strong proof of the correctness of this our leading doctrine4 ,they are generally lively1 sprightly1 witty1 frolicksome1 knowing1 quiet of perception1 apt to learn1 full of passion1 quick-tempered1 impulsive throughout1 hasty1 indiscreet1 given to excesses1 yet abound in good feeling1 and are well calculated to enjoy life1 though in general sadly deficient in some essential moral elements4 #aa4 ,,character ,,of ,,illegitimates4--,wherein1 then1 consists this difference8 ,first1 in novelty lending an enchantment rarely experienced in sated wedlock1 as well as in1 power of passion sufficient to break through all restraint1 external and internal2 and hence their high wrought organization4 ,they are usually wary and on the alert1 and their parents drank stolen waters4 ,they are commonly wanting in moral balance1 or else delinquent in some important moral aspect2 nor would they have ever been born unless this had been the case1 for the time being at least with their parents4 ,behold in these1 and many other respects easily cited1 how striking the coincidence between their characters on the one hand1 and1 on the other1 those parental conditions necessarily attendant on their origin4 #ab4 ,,children',s ,,condition depends upon parents' condition at the time of the sexual embrace4 ,let parents recall1 as nearly as may be their circumstances and states of body and mind at this period1 and place them by the side of the physical and mental constitutions of their children1 and then say whether this law is not a great practical truth1 and if so1 its importance is as the happiness and misery it is capable of affecting6 ,the application of this mighty engine of good or evil to mankind1 to the promotion of human advancement1 is the great question which should profoundly interest all parents4 #ac4 ,,the ,,vital ,,period4--,the physical condition of parents at the vital period of transmission of life should be a perfect condition of health in both body and mind1 and a vigorous condition of all the animal organs and functions4 #ad4 ,,muscular ,,preparation4--,especially should parents cultivate their muscular system preparatory to the perfection of this function1 and of their children2 because1 to impart strength and stamina to offspring they must of necessity both possess a good muscular organization1 and also bring it into vigorous requisition at this period4 ,for this reason1 if for no other1 let those of sedentary habits cultivate muscular energy preparatory to this time of need4 #ae4 ,,the ,,seed4--,so exceedingly delicate are the seeds of life1 that1 unless planted in a place of perfect security1 they must all be destroyed and our race itself extinguished4 ,and what place is as secure as that chosen1 where they can be reached only with the utmost difficulty1 and than only as the peril of even life itself8 ,imperfect seed sown in poor ground means a sickly harvest4 #af4 ,,healthy ,,people--,,most ,,children4--,the most healthy classes have the most numerous families2 but that1 as luxury enervates society1 it diminishes the population1 by enfeebling parents1 nature preferring none rather than those too weakly to live and be happy1 and thereby rendering that union unfruitful which is too feeble to produce offspring sufficiently strong to enjoy life4 ,debility and disease often cause barrenness4 ,nature seems to rebel against sickly offspring4 #ag4 ,,why ,,children ,,die4--,inquire whether one or both the parents of those numerous children that die around us1 have not weak lungs1 or a debilitated stomach1 or a diseased liver1 or feeble muscles1 or else use them but little1 or disordered nerves1 or some other debility or form of disease4 ,the prevalence of summer complaints1 colic1 cholera infantum1 and other affections of these vital organs of children is truly alarming1 sweeping them into their graves by the million4 ,shall other animals rear nearly all their young1 and shall man1 constitutionally by far the strongest of them all1 lose half or more of his8 is this the order of nature8 ,no1 but their death-worm is born in and with them1 and by parental agency4 #ah4 ,,grave-,,yard ,,statistics4--,take grave-yard statistics in ,august1 and then say1 whether most of the deaths of children are not caused by indigestion1 or feebleness of the bowels1 liver1 etc41 or complaints growing out of them8 ,rather1 take family statistics from broken-hearted parents6 ,and yet1 in general1 those very parents who thus suffer more than words can tell1 were the first and main transgressors1 because they entailed those dyspeptic1 heart1 and other kindred affections so common among ,american parents upon their own children1 and thereby almost as bad as killed them by inches2 thus depriving them of the joys of life1 and themselves of their greatest earthly treasure6 #ai4 ,,all ,,children ,,may ,,die4--,children may indeed die whose parents are healthy1 but they almost must whose parents are essentially ailing in one or more of their vital organs2 because1 since they inherit this organ debilitated or diseased1 any additional cause of sickness attacks this part first1 and when it gives out1 all go by the board together4 #bj4 ,,parents ,,must ,,learn ,,and ,,obey4--,how infinitely more virtuous and happy would your children be if you should be healthy in body1 and happy in mind1 so as to beget in them a constitutionally healthy and vigorous physiology1 along with a serene and happy frame of mind6 ,words are utterly powerless in answer1 and so is everything but a lifetime of consequent happiness or misery6 ,learn and obey1 then1 the laws of life and health1 that you may both reap the rich reward yourself1 and also shower down upon your children after you1 blessings many and most exalted4 ,avoid excesses of all kinds1 be temperate1 take good care of the body and avoid exposures and disease1 and your children will be models of health and beauty4 #ba4 ,,the ,,right ,,condition4--,the great practical inference is1 that those parents who desire intellectual and moral children1 must love each other2 because1 this love1 besides perpetually calling forth and cultivating their higher faculties1 awakens them to the highest pitch of exalted action in that climax1 concentration1 and consummation of love which propagates their existing qualities1 the mental endowment of offspring being proportionate to the purity and intensity of parental love4 #bb4 ,,the ,,effects4--,the children of affectionate parents receive existence and constitution when love has rendered the mentality of their parents both more elevated and more active than it is by nature1 of course the children of loving parents are both more intellectual and moral by nature than their parents4 ,now1 if these children and their companions also love one another1 this same law which renders the second generation better than the first1 will of course render the third still better than the second1 and thus of all succeeding generations4 #bc4 ,,animal ,,impulse4--,you may preach and pray till doomsday--may send out missionaries1 may circulate tracts and ,bibles1 and multiply revivals and all the means of grace1 with little avail2 because1 as long as mankind go on1 as now1 to propagate by animal impulse1 so long must their offspring be animal1 sensual1 devilish6 ,but only induce parents cordially to love each other1 and you thereby render their children constitutionally talented and virtuous4 ,oh6 parents1 by as much as you prefer the luxuries of concord to the torments of discord1 and children that are sweet dispositioned and highly intellectual to those that are rough wrathful1 and depraved1 be entreated to love one another4 ,illustration3 ,,just ,,home ,,from ,,school4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,too ,,many ,,children4 #a4 ,,lessening ,,pauperism4--,many of the agencies for lessening pauperism are afraid of tracing back its growth to the frequency of births under wretched conditions4 ,one begins to question whether after all sweet charity or dignified philanthropy has not acted with an unwise reticence4 ,among the problems which defy practical handling this is the most complicated4 ,the pauperism which arises from marriage is the result of the worst elements of character legalized4 ,in ,america1 where the boundaries of wedlock are practically boundless1 it is not desirable1 even were it possible1 that the state should regulate marriage much further than it now does2 therefore must the sociologist turn for aid to society in his struggle with pauperism4 #b4 ,,right ,,physical ,,and ,,spiritual ,,conditions ,,of ,,birth4--,society should insist upon the right spiritual and physical conditions for birth4 ,it should be considered more than a pity when another child is born into a home too poor to receive it4 ,the underlying selfishness of such an event should be recognized1 for it brings motherhood under wrong conditions of health and money4 ,instead of each birth being the result of mature consideration and hallowed loves children are too often born as animals are born4 ,to be sure the child has a father whom he can call by name4 ,better that there had never been a child4 #c4 ,,wrong ,,results4--,no one hesitates to declare that if is want of self-respect and morality which brings wrong results outside of marriage1 but it is also the want of them which begets evil inside the marriage relation4 ,though there is nothing more difficult than to find the equilibrium between self-respect and self-sacrifice1 yet on success in finding it depends individual and national preservation4 ,the fact of being wife and mother or husband and father should imply dignity and joyousness1 no matter how humble the home4 #d4 ,,difference ,,of ,,opinion ,,amongst ,,physicians4--,in regard to teaching1 the difficulties are great4 ,as soon as one advances beyond the simplest subjects of hygiene1 one is met with the difference of opinions among physicians4 ,when each one has a different way of making a mustard plaster1 no wonder that each has his own notions about everything else4 ,one doctor recommends frequent births1 another advises against them4 #e4 ,,different ,,natures4--,if physiological facts are taught to a large class1 there are sure to be some in it whose impressionable natures are excited by too much plain speaking1 while there are others who need the most open teaching in order to gain any benefit4 ,talks to a few persons generally are wiser than popular lectures4 ,especially are talks needed by mothers and unmothered girls who come from everywhere to the city4 #f4 ,,boys ,,and ,,young ,,men4--,it is not women alone who require the shelter of organizations and instruction1 but boys and young men4 ,there is no double standard of morality1 though the methods of advocating it depend upon the sex which is to be instructed4 ,men are more concerned with the practical basis of morality than with its sentiment1 and with the pecuniary aspects of domestic life than with its physical and mental suffering4 ,we all may need medicine for moral ills1 yet the very intangibleness of purity makes us slow to formulate rules for its growth4 ,under the guidance of the wise in spirit and knowledge1 much can be done to create a higher standard of marriage and to proportion the number of births according to the health and income of parents4 #g4 ,,for ,,the ,,sake ,,of ,,the ,,state4--,if the home exists primarily for the sake of the individual1 it exists secondarily for the sake of the state4 ,therefore1 any home into which are continually born the inefficient children of inefficient parents1 not only is a discomfort in itself1 but it also furnishes members for the armies of the unemployed1 which are tinkering and hindering legislation and demanding by the brute force of numbers that the state shall support them4 #h4 ,,opinions ,,from ,,high ,,authorities4--,in the statements and arguments made in the above we have not relied upon our own opinions and convictions1 but have consulted the best authorities1 and we hereby quote some of the highest authorities upon this subject4 #i4 ,,rev4 ,,leonard ,,dawson4--,how rapidly conjugal prudence might lift a nation out of pauperism was seen in ,france4--,let them therefore hold the maxim that the production of offspring with forethought and providence is rational nature4 ,it was immoral to bring children into the world whom they could not reasonably hope to feed1 clothe and educate4 #aj4 ,,mrs4 ,,fawcett4--,nothing will permanently offset pauperism while the present reckless increase of population continues4 #aa4 ,,dr4 ,,george ,,napheys4--,having too many children unquestionably has its disastrous effects on both mother and children as known to every intelligent physician4 ,two-thirds of all cases of womb disease1 says ,dr4 ,tilt1 are traceable to child-bearing in feeble women4 ,there are also women to whom pregnancy is a nine months' torture1 and others to whom it is nearly certain to prove fatal4 ,such a condition cannot be discovered before marriage--,the detestable crime of abortion is appallingly rife in our day4 ,it is abroad in our land to an extent which would have shocked the dissolute women of pagan ,rome,s--,this wholesale1 fashionable murder1 how are we to stop it8 ,hundreds of vile men and women in our large cities subsist by this slaughter of the innocent4 #ab4 ,,rev4 ,h4,r4 ,,haweis4--,until it is thought a disgrace in every rank of society1 from top to bottom of social scale1 to bring into the world more children than you are able to provide for1 the poor man's home1 at least1 must often be a purgatory--his children dinnerless1 his wife a beggar--himself too often drunk--here1 then1 are the real remedies3 first1 control the family growth according to the family means of support4 #ac4 ,,montague ,,cookson4--,the limitation of the number of the family--is as much the duty of married persons as the observance of chastity is the duty of those that are unmarried4 #ad4 ,,john ,,stuart ,,mill4--,every one has aright to live4 ,we will suppose this granted4 ,but no one has a right to bring children into life to be supported by other people4 ,whoever means to stand upon the first of these rights must renounce all pretension to the last4 ,little improvement can be expected in morality until the production of a large family is regarded in the same light as drunkenness or any other physical excess4 #ae4 ,,dr4 ,t4,d4 ,,nicholls4--,in the present social state1 men and women should refrain from having children unless they see a reasonable prospect of giving them suitable nurture and education4 #af4 ,,rev4 ,m4,j4 ,,savage4--,some means ought to be provided for checking the birth of sickly children4 #ag4 ,,dr4 ,,stockham4--,thoughtful minds must acknowledge the great wrong done when children are begotten under adverse conditions4 ,women must learn the laws of life so as to protect themselves1 and not be the means of bringing sin-cursed1 diseased children into the world4 ,the remedy is in the prevention of pregnancy1 not in producing abortion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,small ,,families ,,and ,,the ,,improvement ,,of ,,the ,,race4 #a4 ,,married ,,people ,,must ,,decide ,,for ,,themselves4--,it is the fashion of those who marry nowadays to have few children1 often none4 ,of course this is a matter which married people must decide for themselves4 ,as is stated in an earlier chapter1 sometimes this policy is the wisest that can be pursued4 #b4 ,diseased people who are likely to beget only a sickly offspring1 may follow this course1 and so may thieves1 rascals1 vagabonds1 insane and drunken persons1 and all those who are likely to bring into the world beings that ought not to be here4 ,but why so many well-to-do folks should pursue a policy adapted only to paupers and criminals1 is not easy to explain4 ,why marry at all if not to found a family that shall live to bless and make glad the earth after father and mother are gone8 ,it is not wise to rear too many children1 nor is it wise to have too few4 ,properly brought up1 they will make home a delight1 and parents happy4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,well ,,nourished ,,child4 #c4 ,,population ,,limited4--,galton1 in his great work on hereditary genius1 observes that the time may hereafter arrive in far distant years1 when the population of this earth shall be kept as strictly within bounds of number and suitability of race1 as the sheep of a well-ordered moor1 or the plants in an orchard-house2 in the meantime let us do what we can to encourage the multiplication of the races best fitted to invent and conform to a high and generous civilization4 #d4 ,,shall ,,sickly ,,people ,,raise ,,children8--,the question whether sickly people should marry and propagate their kind1 is briefly alluded to in an early chapter of this work4 ,where father and mother are both consumptive the chances are that the children will inherit physical weakness1 which will result in the same disease1 unless great pains are taken to give them a good physical education1 and even then the probabilities are that they will find life a burden hardly worth living4 #e4 ,,no ,,real ,,blessing4--,where one parent is consumptive and the other vigorous1 the chances are just half as great4 ,if there is a scrofulous or consumptive taint in the blood1 beware6 ,sickly children are no comfort to their parents1 no real blessing4 ,if such people marry1 they had better1 in most cases1 avoid parentage4 #f4 ,,welfare ,,of ,,mankind4--,the advancement of the welfare of mankind is a most intricate problem3 all ought to refrain from marriage who cannot avoid abject poverty for their children2 for poverty is not only a great evil1 but tends to its own increase by leading to recklessness in marriage4 ,on the other hand1 as ,mr4 ,galton has remarked1 if the prudent avoid marriage1 while the reckless marry1 the inferior members will tend to supplant the better members of society4 #g4 ,,preventives4--,remember that the thousands of preventives which are advertised in papers1 private circulars1 etc41 are not only inefficient1 unreliable and worthless1 but positively dangerous1 and the annual mortality of females in this country from this cause alone is truly horrifying4 ,study nature1 and nature's laws alone will guide you safely in the path of health and happiness4 #h4 ,,nature',s ,,remedy4--,nature in her wise economy has prepared for overproduction1 for during the period of pregnancy and nursing1 and also most of the last half of each menstrual month1 woman is naturally sterile2 but this condition may become irregular and uncertain on account of stimulating drinks or immoral excesses4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,generative ,,organs4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,male ,,generative ,,organs ,,and ,,their ,,structure ,,and ,,adaptation4 #a4 ,the reproductive organs in man are the penis and testicles and their appendages4 #b4 ,the penis deposits the seminal life germ of the male4 ,it is designed to fulfill the seed planting mission of human life4 #c4 ,in the accompanying illustration all the parts are named4 #d4 ,,urethra4--,the urethra performs the important mission of emptying the bladder1 and is rendered very much larger by the passion1 and the semen is propelled along through it by little layers of muscles on each side meeting above and below4 ,it is this canal that is inflamed by the disease known as gonorrhoea4 #e4 ,,prostate ,,gland4--,the prostate gland is located just before the bladder4 ,it swells in men who have previously overtaxed it1 thus preventing all sexual intercourse1 and becomes very troublesome to void urine4 ,this is a very common trouble in old age4 #f4 ,,the ,,penal ,,gland4--,the penal gland1 located at the end of the penis1 becomes unduly enlarged by excessive action and has the consistency of ,india rubber4 ,it is always enlarged by erection4 ,it is this gland at the end that draws the semen forward4 ,it is one of the most essential and wonderful constructed glands of the human body4 #g4 ,,female ,,magnetism4--,when the male organ comes in contact with female magnetism1 the natural and proper excitement takes place4 ,when excited without this female magnetism it becomes one of the most serious injuries to the human body4 ,the male organ was made for a high and holy purpose1 and woe be to him who pollutes his manhood by practicing the secret vice4 ,he pays the penalty in after years either by the entire loss of sexual power1 or by the afflictions of various urinary diseases4 #h4 ,,nature ,,pays all her debts1 and when there is an abuse of organ1 penalties must follow4 ,if the hand is thrust into the fire it will be burnt4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,female ,,sexual ,,organs4 #a4 ,the generative or reproductive organs of the human female are usually divided into the internal and external4 ,those regarded as internal are concealed from view and protected within the body4 ,those that can be readily perceived are termed external4 ,the entrance of the vagina may be stated as the line of demarcation of the two divisions4 ,illustration3 ,,anatomy ,,or ,,structure ,,of ,,the ,,female ,,organs ,,of ,,generation4 #b4 ,,hymen ,,or ,,vaginal ,,valve4--,this is a thin membrane of half moon shape stretched across the opening of the vagina4 ,it usually contains before marriage one or more small openings for the passage of the menses4 ,this membrane has been known to cause much distress in many females at the first menstrual flow4 ,the trouble resulting from the openings in the hymen not being large enough to let the flow through and consequently blocking up the vaginal canal1 and filling the entire internal sexual organs with blood2 causing paroxysms and hysterics and other alarming symptoms4 ,in such cases the hymen must be ruptured that a proper discharge may take place at once4 ,illustration3 ,impregnated ,egg4 ,in the first formation of ,embryo4 #c4 ,,unyielding ,,hymen4--,the hymen is usually ruptured by the first sexual intercourse1 but sometimes it is so unyielding as to require the aid of a knife before coition can take place4 #d4 ,,the ,,presence ,,of ,,the ,,hymen was formerly considered a test of virginity1 but this theory is no longer held by competent authorities1 as disease or accidents or other circumstances may cause its rupture4 #e4 ,,the ,,ovaries4--,the ovaries are little glands for the purpose of forming the female ova or egg4 ,they are not fully developed until the period of puberty1 and usually are about the size of a large chestnut4 ,the are located in the broad ligaments between the uterus and the ,fallopian tubes4 ,during pregnancy the ovaries change position2 they are brought farther into the abdominal cavity as the uterus expands4 #f4 ,,office ,,of ,,the ,,ovary4--,the ovary is to the female what the testicle is to the male4 ,it is the germ vitalizing organ and the most essential part of the generative apparatus4 ,the ovary is not only an organ for the formation of the ova1 but is also designed for their separation when they reach maturity4 #g4 ,,fallopion ,,tubes4--,these are the ducts that lead from the ovaries to the uterus4 ,they are entirely detached from the glands or ovaries1 and are developed on both sides of the body4 #h4 ,,office ,,of ,,the ,,fallopian ,,tubes4--,the ,fallopian tubes have a double office3 receiving the ova from the ovaries and conducting it into the uterus1 as well as receiving the spermatic fluid of the male and conveying it from the uterus in the direction of the ovaries1 the tubes being the seat of impregnation4 ,illustration3 ,,ovum4 #i4 ,,sterility ,,in ,,females4--,sterility in the female is sometimes caused by a morbid adhesion of the tube to a portion of the ovary4 ,by what power the mouth of the tube is directed toward a particular portion of an ovary1 from which the ovum is about to be discharged1 remains entirely unknown1 as does also the precise nature of the cause which effects this movement4 ,illustration3 ,ripe ,ovum from the ,ovary4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,mysteries ,,of ,,the ,,formation ,,of ,,life4 #a4 ,,scientific ,,theories4--,darwin1 ,huxley1 ,haeckel1 ,tyndall1 ,meyer1 and other renowned scientists1 have tried to find the missing link between man and animal2 they have also exhausted their genius in trying to fathom the mysteries of the beginning of life1 or find where the animal and mineral kingdoms unite to form life2 but they have added to the vast accumulation of theories only1 and the world is but little wiser on this mysterious subject4 #b4 ,,physiology4--,physiology has demonstrated what physiological changes take place in the germination and formation of life1 and how nature expresses the intentions of reproduction by giving animals distinctive organs with certain secretions for this purpose1 etc4 ,all the different stages of development can be easily determined1 but how and why life takes place under such special condition and under no other1 is an unsolved mystery4 #c4 ,,ovaries4--,the ovaries are the essential parts of the generative system of the human female in which ova are matured4 ,there are two ovaries1 one on each side of the uterus1 and connected with it by the ,fallopian tubes4 ,they are egg-shaped1 about an inch in diameter1 and furnish the germs or ovules4 ,these germs or ovules are very small1 measuring about #a_/abj of an inch in diameter4 #d4 ,,development4--,the ovaries develop with the growth of the female1 so that finally at the period of puberty they ripen and liberate an ovum or germ vesicle1 which is carried into the uterine cavity of the ,fallopian tubes4 ,by the aid of the microscope we find that these ova are composed of granular substance1 in which is found a miniature yolk surrounded by a transparent membrane called the zona pellucida4 ,this yolk contains a germinal vesicle in which can be discovered a nucleus1 called the germinal spot4 ,the process of the growth of the ovaries is very gradual1 and their function of ripening and discharging one ovum monthly into the ,fallopian tubes and uterus1 is not completed until between the twelfth and fifteenth years4 #e4 ,,what ,,science ,,knows4--,after the sexual embrace we know that the sperm is lifted within the genital passages or portion of the vagina and mouth of the uterus4 ,the time between the deposit of the semen and fecundation varies according to circumstances4 ,if the sperm-cell travels to the ovarium it generally takes from three to five days to make the journey4 ,as ,dr4 ,pierce says3 ,the transportation is aided by the ciliary processes 7little hairs7 of the mucous surface of the vaginal and uterine walls1 as well as by its own vibratile movements4 ,the action of the cilia1 under the stimulus of the sperm1 seems to be from without1 inward4 ,even if a minute particle of sperm1 less than a drop1 be left upon the margin of the external genitals of the female1 it is sufficient in amount to impregnate1 and can be carried1 by help of these cilia1 to the ovaries4 #f4 ,,conception4--,after intercourse at the proper time the liability to conception is very great4 ,if the organs are in a healthy condition1 conception must necessarily follow1 and no amount of prudence and the most rigid precautions often fail to prevent pregnancy4 #g4 ,,only ,,one ,,absolutely ,,safe ,,method4--,there is only one absolutely safe method to prevent conception1 entirely free from danger and injury to health1 and one that is in the reach of all2 that is to refrain from union altogether4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,eugenic ,,baby4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,conception--,,its ,,limitations4 #a4 ,a ,,common ,,question4--,the question is often asked1 ,can ,conception be prevented at all times8 ,let us say right here that even if such an interference with nature's laws were possible it is inadmissible1 and never to be justified except in cases of deformity or disease4 #b4 ,,false ,,claims ,,of ,,imposters4--,during the past few years a great deal has been written on the subject1 claiming that new remedies had been discovered for the prevention of conception1 etc41 but these are all money making devices to deceive the public1 and enrich the pockets of miserable and unprincipled imposters4 #c4 ,,the ,,truth ,,of ,,the ,,matter4--,dr4 ,pancoast1 an eminent authority1 says3 ,the truth is1 there is no medicine taken internally capable of preventing conception1 and the person who asserts to the contrary1 not only speaks falsely1 but is both a knave and a fool4 #d4 ,,foolish ,,dread ,,of ,,children4--,what is more deplorable and pitiable than an old couple childless8 ,young people dislike the care and confinement of children and prefer society and social entertainments and thereby do great injustice and injury to their health4 ,having children under proper circumstances never ruins the health and happiness of any woman4 ,in fact1 womanhood is incomplete without them4 ,she may have a dozen or more1 and still have better health than before marriage4 ,it is having them too close together1 and when she is not in a fit state1 that her health gives way4 #e4 ,,self-,,denial ,,and ,,forbearance4--,if the husband respects his wife he will come to her relief by exercising self-denial and forbearance1 but sometimes before the mother has recovered from the effects of bearing1 nursing and rearing one child1 ere she has regained proper tone and vigor of body and mind1 she is unexpectedly overtaken1 surprised by the manifestation of symptoms which again indicate pregnancy4 ,children thus begotten cannot become hardy and long-lived4 ,but the love that parents may feel for their posterity1 by the wishes for their success1 by the hopes for their usefulness1 by every consideration for their future well-being1 let them exercise caution and forbearance until the wife becomes sufficiently healthy and enduring to bequeath her own rugged1 vital stamina to the child she bears in love4 #f4 ,a ,,wrong ,,to ,,the ,,mother ,,and ,,child4--,sometimes the mother is diseased2 the outlet from the womb1 as a result of laceration by a previous child-birth1 is frequently enlarged1 thus allowing conception to take place very readily1 and hence she has children in rapid succession4 ,besides the wrong to the mother in having children in such rapid succession1 it is a great injustice to the babe in the womb and the one at the breast that they should follow each other so quickly that one is conceived while the other is nursing4 ,one takes the vitality of the other2 neither has sufficient nourishment1 and both are started in life stunted and incomplete4 #g4 ,,feeble ,,and ,,diseased ,,parents4--,if the parties of a marriage are both feeble and so adapted to each other that their children are deformed1 insane or idiots1 then to beget offspring would be a flagrant wrong2 if the mother's health is in such a condition as to forbid the right of laying the burden of motherhood upon her1 then medical aid may safely come to her relief4 #h4 ,,the ,,desirability ,,and ,,practicability of limiting offspring1 says ,dr4 ,stockham1 are the subject of frequent inquiry4 ,fewer and better children are desired by right-minded parents4 ,many men and women1 wise in other things of the world1 permit generation as a chance result of copulation1 without thought of physical or mental conditions to be transmitted to the child4 ,coition1 the one important act of all others1 carrying with it the most vital results1 is usually committed for selfish gratification4 ,many a drunkard owes his lifelong appetite for alcohol to the fact that the inception of his life could be traced to a night of dissipation on the part of his father4 ,physical degeneracy and mental derangements are too often caused by the parents producing offspring while laboring under great mental strain or bodily fatigue4 ,drunkenness and licentiousness are frequently the heritage of posterity4 ,future generations demand that such results be averted by better prenatal influences4 ,the world is groaning under the curse of chance parenthood4 ,it is due to posterity that procreation be brought under the control of reason and conscience4 #i4 ,,it ,,has ,,been ,,feared ,,that ,a ,,knowledge of means to control offspring would1 if generally diffused1 be abused by women2 that they would to so great an extent escape motherhood as to bring about social disaster4 ,this fear is not well founded4 ,the maternal instinct is inherent and sovereign in woman4 ,even the prenatal influences of a murderous intent on the part of parents scarcely ever eradicate it4 ,with this natural desire for children1 we believe few woman would abuse the knowledge of privilege of controlling offspring4 ,although women shrink from forced maternity1 and from the bearing of children under the great burden of suffering1 as well as other adverse conditions1 it is rare to find a woman who is not greatly disappointed if she does not1 some time in her life1 wear the crown of motherhood4 ,an eminent lady teacher1 in talking to her pupils once said1 ',the greatest calamity that can befall a woman is never to have a child4 ,the next greatest calamity is to have one only4' ,from my professional experience ,i am happy to testify that more women seek to overcome causes of sterility than to obtain knowledge of limiting the size of the family or means to destroy the embryo4 ,also1 if consultation for the latter is sought1 it is usually at the instigation of the husband4 ,believing in the rights of unborn children1 and in the maternal instinct1 ,i am consequently convinced that no knowledge should be withheld that will secure proper conditions for the best parenthood4 #aj4 ,,the ,,case ,,of ,,the ,,juke ,,family4--,we submit the following case of the ,juke family1 mostly of ,new ,york state1 as related by ,dr4 ,r4,l4 ,dugdale1 when a member of the prison ,association1 and let the reader judge for himself3 ,it was traced out by painstaking research that from one woman called ,margaret1 who1 like ,topsy1 merely 'growed' without pedigree as a pauper in a village of the upper ,hudson1 about eighty-five years ago1 there descended #fgc children1 grandchildren and great grandchildren1 of whom #bjj were criminals of the dangerous class1 #bhj adult paupers1 and #ej prostitutes1 while #cjj children of her lineage died prematurely4 ,the last fact proves to what extent in this family nature was kind to the rest of humanity in saving it from a still larger aggregation or undesirable and costly members1 for it is estimated that the expense to the ,state of the descendants of ,maggie was over a million dollars1 and the ,state itself did something also towards preventing a greater expense by the restrain exercised upon the criminals1 paupers1 and idiots of the family during a considerable portion of their lives4 #aa4 ,,moderation4--,continence1 self-control1 a willingness to deny himself--that is what is required from the husband4 ,but a thousand voices reach us from suffering women in all parts of the land that this will not suffice2 that men refuse thus to restrain themselves2 that it leads to a loss of domestic happiness and to illegal amour1 or it is injurious physically and morally2 that1 in short1 such advice is useless because impracticable4 #ab4 ,,nature',s ,,method4--,to such we reply that nature herself has provided to some extent1 against overproduction4 ,it is well known that women1 when nursing1 rarely become pregnant1 and for this reason1 if for no other1 women should nurse their own children1 and continue the period until the child is at least nine months or a year old4 ,however1 the nursing1 if continued too long1 weakens both the mother and the child4 #ac4 ,,another ,,provision ,,of ,,nature4--,for a certain period between her monthly illness1 every woman is sterile4 ,conception may be avoided by refraining from coition except for this particular number of days1 and there will be no evasion of natural intercourse1 no resort to disgusting practices1 and nothing degrading4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,prenatal ,,influences4 #a4 ,,definition4--,by prenatal influences we mean those temporary operations of the mind or physical conditions of the parents previous to birth1 which stamp their impress upon the new life4 #b4 ,,three ,,periods4--,we may consider this subject as one which naturally divides itself into three periods3 the preparation which precedes conception1 the mental1 moral and physical conditions at the time of conjunction1 and the environment and condition of the mother during the period of gestation4 #c4 ,,prominent ,,authorities4--,a4,e4 ,newton says3 ,numerous facts indicate that offspring may be affected and their tendencies shaped by a great variety of influences1 among which moods and influences more or less transient may be included4 ,dr4 ,stall says3 ,prenatal influences are both subtle and potent1 and no amount of wealth or learning or influence can secure exemption from them4 ,dr4 ,john ,cowan says upon this subject3 ,the fundamental principles of genius in reproduction are that1 through the rightly directed wills of the father and mother1 preceding and during antenatal life1 the child's form or body1 character of mind and purity of soul are formed and established4 ,that in its plastic state1 during antenatal life1 like clay in the hands of the potter1 it can be molded into absolutely any form of body and soul the parents may knowingly desire4 #d4 ,,like ,,parents1 ,,like ,,children4--,it is folly to expect strong and vigorous children from weak and sickly parents1 or virtuous offspring from impure ancestry4 ,dr4 ,james ,foster ,scott tells us that purity is1 in fact1 the crown of all real manliness2 and the vigorous and robust1 who by repression of evil have preserved their sexual potency1 make the best husbands and fathers1 and they are the direct benefactors for the race by begetting progeny who are not predisposed to sexual vitiation and bodily and mental degeneracy4 #e4 ,,blood ,,will ,,tell4--,thus we see that prenatal influences greatly modify1 if they do not wholly control1 inherited tendencies4 ,is it common sense to suppose that a child1 begotten when the parents are exhausted from mental or physical overwork1 can be as perfect as when the parents are overflowing with the buoyancy of life and health8 ,the practical farmer would not allow a domestic animal to come into his flock or herd under imperfect physical conditions4 ,he understands that while blood will tell1 the temporary conditions of the animals will also tell in the perfections or imperfections of the offspring4 #f4 ,,health ,a ,,legacy4--,it is no small legacy to be endowed with perfect health4 ,in begetting children comparatively few people seem to think that any care of concern is necessary to insure against ill-health or poverty of mind4 ,how strange our carelessness and unconcern when these are the groundwork of all comfort and success6 ,how few faces and forms we see which give sign of perfect health4 ,it is just as reasonable to suppose that men and women can squander their fortune and still have it left to bequeath to their children1 as that parents can violate organic laws and still retain their own strength and activity4 #g4 ,,responsibility ,,of ,,parents4--,selden ,h4 ,tascott says3 ,ungoverned passions in the parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness in the minds of their children4 ,even untempered religious enthusiasm may beget a fanaticism that can not be restrained within the limits of reason4 ,in view of the preceding statements1 what a responsibility rests upon the parents6 ,no step in the process of parentage is unimportant4 ,from the lovers first thought of marriage to the birth of the child1 every step of the way should be paved with the snow-white blossoms of pure thought4 ,kindly words and deeds should bind the prospective parents more closely together4 ,not mine and thine1 but ours1 should be the bond of sympathy4 ,each should be chaste in thought and word and deed as was ,sir ,galahad1 who went in search of the ,holy ,grail1 saying3 ,my strength is as the strength of ten1 ,because my heart is pure4 ,illustration3 ,,dr4 ,,hall',s ,,syringe4 ,no4 #a ,gives a ,whirling ,spray and ,no4 #b ,also ,whirling ,spray4 ,price of ,no4 #a is #a4ej and of ,no4 #b1 #c4jj4 ,to readers of this book the publishers will send ,no4 #a for #a4bj and ,no4 #b for #b4be postpaid4 ,dr4 ,hall's is larger and made of highest grade red rubber and its action is very effective4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vaginal ,,cleanliness4 #a4 ,the above syringes are highly recommended by physicians as vaginal cleansers4 ,they will be found a great relief in health or sickness1 and in many cases cure barrenness or other diseases of the womb4 #b4 ,,cleanliness4--,cleanliness is next to godliness4 ,without cleanliness the human body is more or less defiled and repulsive4 ,a hint to the wise is sufficient4 ,the vagina should be cleansed with the same faithfulness as any other portion of the body4 #c4 ,,temperature ,,of ,,the ,,water4--,those not accustomed to use vaginal injections would do well to use water milk-warm at the commencement2 after this the temperature may be varied according to circumstances4 ,in case of local inflammation use hot water4 ,the indiscriminate use of cold water injections will be found rather injurious than beneficial1 and a woman in feeble health will always find warm water invigorating and preferable4 #d4 ,,leucorrhoea4--,in case of persistent leucorrhoea use the temperature of water from seventy-two to eighty-five degrees ,fahrenheit4 #e4 ,,the ,,cleanser will greatly stimulate the health and spirits of any woman who uses it4 ,pure water injections have a stimulating effect1 and it seems to invigorate the entire body4 #f4 ,,salt ,,and ,,water ,,injections4--,this will cure mild cases of leucorrhoea4 ,add a teaspoonful of salt to a pint and a half of water at the proper temperature4 ,injections may be repeated daily if deemed necessary4 #g4 ,,soap ,,and ,,water4--,soap and water is a very simple domestic remedy1 and will many times afford relief in many diseases of the womb4 ,it seems it thoroughly cleanses the parts4 ,a little borax or vinegar may be used the same as salt water injections4 7,see ,no4 #f47 #h4 ,,holes ,,in ,,the ,,tubes4--,most of the holes in the tubes of syringes are too small4 ,see that they are sufficiently large to produce thorough cleansing4 #i4 ,,injections ,,during ,,the ,,monthly ,,flow4--,of course it is not proper to arrest the flow1 and the injections will stimulate a healthy action of the organs4 ,the injections may be used daily throughout the monthly flow with much comfort and benefit4 ,if the flow is scanty and painful the injections may be as warm as they can be comfortably borne4 ,if the flowing is immoderate1 then cool water may be used4 ,a woman will soon learn her own condition and can act accordingly4 #aj4 ,,bloom ,,and ,,grace ,,of ,,youth4--,the regular bathing of the body will greatly improve woman's beauty4 ,remember that a perfect complexion depends upon the healthy action of all the organs4 ,vaginal injections are just as important as the bath4 ,a beautiful woman must not only be cleanly1 but robust and healthy4 ,there can be no perfect beauty without good health4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,trying ,on a ,new ,dress4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,impotence ,,and ,,sterility4 #a4 ,actual impotence during the period of manhood is a very rare complaint1 and nature very unwillingly1 and only after the absolute neglect of sanitary laws1 gives up the power of reproduction4 #b4 ,not only sensual women1 but all without exception1 feel deeply hurt1 and are repelled by the husband whom they may previously have loved dearly1 when1 after entering the married state1 they find that he is impotent4 ,the more inexperienced and innocent they were at the time of marriage1 the longer it often is before they find that something is lacking in the husband2 but1 once knowing this1 the wife infallibly has a feeling of contempt and aversion for him though there are many happy families where this defect exists4 ,it is often very uncertain who is the weak one1 and no cause for separation should be sought4 #c4 ,unhappy marriages1 barrenness1 divorces1 and perchance an occasional suicide1 may be prevented by the experienced physician1 who can generally give correct information1 comfort1 and consolation1 when consulted on these delicate matters4 #d4 ,when a single man fears that he is unable to fulfill the duties of marriage1 he should not marry until his fear is dispelled4 ,the suspicion of such a fear strongly tends to bring about the very weakness which he dreads4 ,go to a good physician 7not to one of those quacks whose advertisements you see in the papers2 they are invariably unreliable71 and state the case fully and freely4 #e4 ,diseases1 malformation1 etc41 may cause impotence4 ,in case of malformation there is usually no remedy1 but in case of disease it is usually within the reach of a skillful physician4 #f4 ,self-abuse and spermatorrhoea produce usually only temporary impotence and can generally be relieved by carrying out the instructions given elsewhere in this book4 #g4 ,excessive indulgences often enfeeble the powers and often result in impotence4 ,dissipated single men1 professional libertines1 and married men who are immoderate1 often pay the penalty of their violations of the laws of nature1 by losing their vital power4 ,in such cases of excess there may be some temporary relief1 but as age advances the effects of such indiscretion will become more and more manifest4 #h4 ,the condition of sterility in man may arise either from a condition of the secretion which deprives it of its fecundating powers or it may spring from a malformation which prevents it reaching the point where fecundation takes place4 ,the former condition is most common in old age1 and is a sequence of venereal disease1 or from a change in the structure or functions of the glands4 ,the latter has its origin in a stricture1 or in an injury1 or in that condition technically known as hypospadias1 or in debility4 #i4 ,it can be safely said that neither self-indulgence nor spermatorrhoea often leads to permanent sterility4 #aj4 ,it is sometimes1 however1 possible1 even where there is sterility in the male1 providing the secretion is not entirely devoid of life properties on part of the husband1 to have children1 but these are exceptions4 #aa4 ,no man need hesitate about matrimony on account of sterility1 unless that condition arises from a permanent and absolute degeneration of his functions4 #ab4 ,impotence from mental and moral causes often takes place4 ,persons of highly nervous organization may suffer incapacity in their sexual organs4 ,the remedy for these difficulties is rest and change of occupation4 #ac4 ,,remedies ,,in ,,case ,,of ,,impotence ,,on ,,account ,,of ,,former ,,private ,,diseases1 ,,or ,,masturbation1 ,,or ,,other ,,causes4--,first build up the body by taking some good stimulating tonics4 ,the general health is the most essential feature to be considered1 in order to secure restoration of the sexual powers4 ,constipation must be carefully avoided4 ,if the kidneys do not work in good order1 some remedy for their restoration must be taken4 ,take plenty of out-door excercise avoid horseback riding or heavy exhaustive work4 #ad4 ,,food ,,and ,,drinks ,,which ,,weaken ,,desire4--,all kinds of food which cause dyspepsia or bring on constipation1 diarrhea1 or irritate the bowels1 alcoholic beverages1 or any indigestible compound1 has the tendency to weaken the sexual power4 ,drunkards and tipplers suffer early loss of vitality4 ,beer drinking has a tendency to irritate the stomach and to that extent affects the private organs4 #ae4 ,,coffee4--,coffee drank excessively causes a debilitating effect upon the sexual organs4 ,the moderate use of coffee can be recommended1 yet an excessive habit of drinking very strong coffee will sometimes wholly destroy vitality4 #af4 ,,tobacco4--,it is a hygienic and physiological fact that tobacco produces sexual debility and those who suffer any weakness on that source should carefully avoid the weed in all its forms4 #ag4 ,,drugs ,,which ,,stimulate ,,desire4--,there are certain medicines which act locally on the membranes and organs of the male1 and the papers are full of advertisements of ,lost ,manhood ,restored1 etc41 but in every case they are worthless or dangerous drugs and certain to lead to some painful malady or death4 ,all these patent medicines should be carefully avoided4 ,people who are troubled with any of these ailments should not attempt to doctor themselves by taking drugs1 but a competent physician should be consulted4 ,eating rye1 corn1 or graham bread1 oatmeal1 cracked wheat1 plenty of fruit1 etc4 is a splendid medicine4 ,if that is not sufficient1 then a physician should be consulted4 #ah4 ,,drugs ,,which ,,moderate ,,desire4--,among one of the most common domestic remedies is camphor4 ,this has stood the test for ages4 ,small doses or half a grain in most instances diminishes the sensibility of the organs of sex4 ,in some cases it produces irritation of the bladder4 ,in that case it should be at once discontinued4 ,on the whole a physician had better be consulted4 ,the safest drug among domestic remedies is a strong tea made out of hops4 ,saltpeter1 or nitrate of potash1 taken in moderate quantities are very good remedies4 ,illustration #ai4 ,,strictly ,,speaking there is a distinction made between2 impotence and sterility4 ,impotence is a loss of power to engage in the sexual act and is common to men4 ,it may be imperfection in the male organ or a lack of sufficient sexual vigor to produce and maintain erection4 ,sterility is a total loss of capacity in the reproduction of the species1 and is common to women4 ,there are1 however1 very few causes of barrenness that cannot be removed when the patient is perfectly developed4 ,sterility1 in a female1 most frequently depends upon a weakness or irritability either in the ovaries or the womb1 and anything having a strengthening effect upon either organ will remove the disability4 7,see page #bdi47 #bj4 ,,over-,,indulgence in intercourse1 says ,dr4 ,hoff1 is sometimes the cause of barrenness2 this is usually puzzling to the interested parties1 inasmuch as the practices which1 in their opinion1 should be the source of a numerous progeny1 have the very opposite effect4 ,by greatly moderating their ardor1 this defect may be remedied4 #ba4 ,,napoleon ,,and ,,josephine4--,a certain adaptation between the male and female has been regarded as necessary to conception1 consisting of some mysterious influence which one sex exerts over the other1 neither one1 however1 being essentially impotent or sterile4 ,the man may impregnate one woman and not another1 and the woman will conceive by one man and not by another4 ,in the marriage of ,napoleon ,bonaparte and ,josephine no children were born1 but after he had separated from the ,empress and wedded ,maria ,louisa of ,austria1 an heir soon came4 ,yet ,josephine had children by ,beauharnais1 her previous husband4 ,but as all is not known as to the physical condition of ,josephine during her second marriage1 it cannot be assumed that mere lack of adaptability was the cause of unfruitfulness between them4 ,there may have been some cause that history has not recorded1 or unknown to the state of medical science of those days4 ,there are doubtless many cases of apparently causeless unfruitfulness in marriage that even physicians1 with a knowledge of all apparent conditions in the parties cannot explain2 but when1 as elsewhere related in this volume1 impregnation by artificial means is successfully practised1 it is useless to attribute barrenness to purely psychological and adaptative influences4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,producing ,,boys ,,or ,,girls ,,at ,,will4 #a4 ,,can ,,the ,,sexes ,,be ,,produced ,,at ,,will8--,this question has been asked in all ages of the world4 ,many theories have been advanced1 but science has at last replied with some authority4 ,the following are the best known authorities which this age of science has produced4 #b4 ,,the ,,agricultural ,,theory4--,the agricultural theory as it may be called1 because adopted by farmers1 is that impregnation occurring within four days of the close of the female monthlies produces a girl1 because the ovum is yet immature2 but that when it occurs after the fourth day from its close1 gives a boy1 because this egg is now mature2 whereas after about the eighth day this egg dissolves and passes off1 so that impregnation is thereby rendered impossible1 till just before the mother's next monthly4--,sexual ,science4 #c4 ,,queen ,,bees ,,lay ,,female ,,eggs ,,first1 and male after wards4 ,so with hens2 the first eggs laid after the tread give females1 the last males4 ,mares shown the stallion late in their periods drop horse colts rather than fillies4--,napheys4 #d4 ,,if ,,you ,,wish ,,females1 give the male at the first sign of heat2 if males1 at its end4--,prof4 ,thury4 #e4 ,,on ,,twenty-,,two ,,successive ,,occasions ,i desired to have heifers1 and succeeded in every case4 ,i have made in all twenty-nine experiments1 after this method1 and succeeded in every one1 in producing the sex ,i desired4--,a ,swiss ,breeder4 #f4 ,,this ,,thury ,,plan has been tried on the farms of the ,emperor of the ,french with unvarying success4 #g4 ,,conception ,,in ,,the ,,first ,,half of the time between the menstrual periods produces females1 and males in the latter4--,london ,lancet4 #h4 ,,intercourse in from two to six days after cessation of the menses produces girls1 in from nine to twelve1 boys4--,medical ,reporter4 ,,the ,,most ,,male ,,power and passion creates boys2 female girls4 ,this law probably causes those agricultural facts just cited thus3 ,conception right after menstruation give girls1 because the female is then the most impassioned2 later1 boys1 because her wanting sexual warmth leaves him the most vigorous4 ,mere sexual excitement1 a wild1 fierce1 furious rush of passion1 is not only not sexual vigor1 but in its inverse ratio2 and a genuine insane fervor caused by weakness2 just as a like nervous excitability indicates weak nerves instead of strong4 ,sexual power is deliberate1 not wild2 cool1 not impetuous2 while all false excitement diminishes effectiveness4--,fowler4 ,illustration3 ,,healthy ,,children4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,abortion ,,or ,,miscarriage4 #a4 ,,abortion ,,or ,,miscarriage is the expulsion of the child from the womb previous to six months2 after that it is called premature birth4 #b4 ,,causes4--,it may be due to a criminal act of taking medicine for the express purpose of producing miscarriage or it may be caused by certain medicines1 severe sickness or nervousness1 syphilis1 imperfect semen1 lack of room in the pelvis and abdomen1 lifting1 straining1 violent cold1 sudden mental excitement1 excessive sexual intercourse1 dancing1 tight lacing1 the use of strong purgative medicines1 bodily fatigue1 late suppers1 and fashionable amusements4 #c4 ,,symptoms4--,a falling or weakness and uneasiness in the region of the loins1 thighs and womb1 pain in the small of the back1 vomiting and sickness of the stomach1 chilliness with a discharge of blood accompanied with pain in the lower portions of the abdomen4 ,these may take place in a single hour1 or it may continue for several days4 ,if before the fourth month1 there is not so much danger1 but the flow of blood is generally greater4 ,if miscarriage is the result of an accident1 it generally takes place without much warning1 and the service of a physician should at once be secured4 #d4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,a simple application of cold water externally applied will produce relief1 or cold cloths of ice1 if convenient1 applied to the lower portions of the abdomen4 ,perfect quiet1 however1 is the most essential thing for the patient4 ,she should lie on her back and take internally a teaspoonful of paregoric every two hours2 drink freely of lemonade or other cooling drinks1 and for nourishment subsist chiefly on chicken broth1 toast1 water gruel1 fresh fruits1 etc4 ,the principal homeopathic remedies for this disease are ergot and cimicifuga1 given in drop-doses of the tinctures4 #e4 ,,injurious ,,effects4--,miscarriage is a very serious difficulty1 and the health and the constitution may be permanently impaired4 ,any one prone to miscarriage should adopt every measure possible to strengthen and build up the system2 avoid going up stairs or doing much heavy lifting or hard work4 #f4 ,,prevention4--,practice the laws of sexual abstinence1 take frequent sitz-baths1 live on oatmeal1 graham bread1 and other nourishing diet4 ,avoid highly seasoned food1 rich gravies1 late suppers and the like4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,an ,,indian ,,family4 ,,the ,,savage ,,indian ,,teaches ,,us ,,lessons ,,of ,,civilization4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,murder ,,of ,,the ,,innocents4 #a4 ,,many ,,causes4--,many causes have operated to produce a corruption of the public morals so deplorable2 prominent among which may be mentioned the facility with which divorces may be obtained in some of the ,states1 the constant promulgation of false ideas of marriage and its duties by means of books1 lectures1 etc41 and the distribution through the mails of impure publications4 ,but an influence not less powerful than any of these is the growing devotion of fashion and luxury of this age1 and the idea which practically obtains to so great an extent that pleasure1 instead of the health or morals1 is the great object of life4 #b4 ,a ,,monstrous ,,crime4--,the abiding interest we feel in the preservation of the morals of our country1 constrains us to raise our voice against the daily increasing practice of infanticide1 especially before birth4 ,the notoriety that monstrous crime has obtained of late1 and the hecatombs of infants that are annually sacrificed to ,moloch1 to gratify an unlawful passion1 are a sufficient justification for our alluding to a painful and delicate subject1 which should not even be named1 only to correct and admonish the wrong-doers4 #c4 ,,localities ,,in ,,which ,,it ,,is ,,most ,,prevalent4--,we may observe that the crying sin of infanticide is most prevalent ,in those localities where the system of moral education has been longest neglected4 ,this inhuman crime might be compared to the murder of the innocents1 except that the criminals1 in this case1 exceed in enormity the cruelty of ,herod4 #d4 ,,shedding ,,innocent ,,blood4--,if it is a sin to take away the life even of an enemy2 if the crime of shedding innocent blood cries to heaven for vengeance2 in what language can we characterize the double guilt of those whose souls are stained with the innocent blood of their own unborn1 unregenerated offspring8 #e4 ,,the ,,greatness ,,of ,,the ,,crime4--,the murder of an infant before its birth1 is1 in the sight of ,god and the law1 as great a crime as the killing of a child after birth4 #f4 ,,legal ,,responsibility4--,every ,state of the ,union has made this offense one of the most serious crimes4 ,the law has no mercy for the offenders that violate the sacred law of human life4 ,it is murder of the most cowardly character and woe to him who brings this curse upon his head1 to haunt him all the days of his or her life1 and to curse him at the day of his death4 #g4 ,,the ,,product ,,of ,,lust4--,lust pure and simple4 ,the only difference between a marriage of this character and prostitution is1 that society1 rotten to its heart1 pulpits afraid to cry aloud against crime and vice1 and the church conformed to the world1 have made such a profanation of marriage respectable4 ,to put it in other words1 when two people determine to live together as husband and wife1 and evade the consequences and responsibilities of marriage1 they are simply engaged in prostitution without the infamy which attaches to that vice and crime4 #h4 ,,outrageous ,,violation ,,of ,,all ,,law4--,the violation of all law1 both natural and revealed1 is the cool and villainous contract by which people entering into the marital relation engage in defiance of the laws of ,god and the laws of the commonwealth1 that they shall be unencumbered with a family of children4 ,disguise the matter as you will1 says ,dr4 ,pomeroy1 yet the fact remains that the first and specific object of marriage is the rearing of a family4 ,be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth1 is ,god's first word to ,adam after his creation4 #i4 ,,the ,,national ,,sin4--,the prevention of offspring is preeminently the sin of ,america4 ,it is fast becoming the national sin of ,america1 and if it is not checked1 it will sooner or later be an irremediable calamity4 ,the sin has its roots in a low and perverted idea of marriage1 and is fostered by false standards of modesty4 #aj4 ,,the ,,sin ,,of ,,herod4--,do these same white-walled sepulchres of hell know that they are committing the damning sin of ,herod in the slaughter of the innocents1 and are accessories before the fact to the crime of murder8 ,do women in all circles of society1 when practicing these terrible crimes realize the real danger8 ,do they understand that it is undermining their health1 and their constitution1 and that their destiny1 if persisted in1 is a premature grave just as sure as the sun rises in the heavens8 ,let all beware and let the first and only purpose be1 to live a life guiltless before ,god and man4 #aa4 ,,the ,,crime ,,of ,,abortion4--,from the moment of conception a new life commences2 a new individual exists2 another child is added to the family4 ,the mother who deliberately sets about to destroy this life1 either by want of care1 or by taking drugs1 or using instruments1 commits as great a crime1 and is just as guilty as if she strangled her new-born infant or as if she snatched from her own breast her six months' darling and dashed out its brains against the wall4 ,its blood is upon her head1 and as sure as there is a ,god and a judgment1 that blood will be required of her4 ,the crime she commits is murder1 child murder--the slaughter of a speechless1 helpless being1 whom it is her duty1 beyond all things else1 to cherish and preserve4 #ab4 ,,dangerous ,,diseases4--,we appeal to all such with earnest and with threatening words4 ,if they have no feeling for the fruit of their womb1 if maternal sentiment is so callous in their breasts1 let them know that such produced abortions are the constant cause of violent and1 dangerous womb diseases1 and frequently of early death2 that they bring on mental weakness1 and often insanity2 that they are the most certain means to destroy domestic happiness which can be adopted4 ,better1 far better1 to bear a child every year for twenty years than to resort to such a wicked and injurious step2 better to die1 if need be1 of the pangs of child-birth1 than to live with such a weight of sin on the conscience4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,unwelcome ,,child4,footnote3 ,this is the title of a pamphlet written by ,henry ,c4 ,wright4 ,we have taken some extracts from it4 #a4 ,,too ,,often ,,the ,,husband thinks only of his personal gratification2 he insists upon what he calls his rights7872 forces on his wife an unwelcome child1 and thereby often alienates her affections1 if he does not drive her to abortion4 ,dr ,stockham reports the following case3 ,a woman once consulted me who was the mother of five children1 all born within ten years4 ,these were puny1 scrofulous1 nervous and irritable4 ,she herself was a fit subject for doctors and drugs4 ,every organ in her body seemed diseased1 and every function perverted4 ,she was dragging out a miserable existence4 ,like other physicians1 ,i had prescribed in vain for her many maladies4 ,one day she chanced to inquire how she could safely prevent conception4 ,this led me to ask how great was the danger4 ,she said3 ',unless my husband is absent from home1 few nights have been exempt since we were married1 except it may be three or four immediately after confinement4' ',and yet your husband loves you8' ',o1 yes1 he is kind and provides for his family4 ,perhaps ,i might love him but for this4 ,while now--7will ,god forgive me87--,i detest1 ,i loathe him1 and if ,i knew how to support myself and children1 ,i would leave him4' ',can you talk with him upon this subject8' ',i think ,i can4' ',then there is hope1 for many women cannot do that4 ,tell him ,i will give you treatment to improve your health and if he will wait until you can respond1 take time for the act1 have it entirely mutual from first to last1 the demand will not come so frequent4' ',do you think so8' ',the experience of many proves the truth of this statement4' ,hopefully she went home1 and in six months ,i had the satisfaction of knowing my patient was restored to health1 and a single coition in a month gave the husband more satisfaction than the many had done previously1 that the creative power was under control1 and that my lady could proudly say ',i love1' where previously she said ',i hate4' ,if husbands will listen1 a few simple instructions will appeal to their common sense1 and none can imagine the gain to themselves1 to their wives and children1 and their children's children4 ,then it may not be said of the babes that the ',death borders on their birth1 and their cradle stands in the grave4' #b4 ,,wives6 ,,be ,,frank ,,and ,,true to your husbands on the subject of maternity1 and the relation that leads to it4 ,interchange thoughts and feelings with them as to what nature allows or demands in regard to these4 ,can maternity be natural when it is undesigned by the father or undesired by the mother8 ,can a maternity be natural1 healthful1 ennobling to the mother1 to the child1 to the father1 and to the home1 when no loving1 tender1 anxious forethought presides over thee relation in which it originated8--when the mother's nature loathed and repelled it1 and the father's only thought was his own selfish gratification2 the feelings and conditions of the mother1 and the health1 character and destiny of the child that may result being ignored by him4 ,wives6 let there be a perfect and loving understanding between you and your husbands on these matters1 and great will be your reward4 #c4 ,a ,,woman ,,writes3--,there are few1 vary few1 wives and mothers who could not reveal a sad1 dark picture in their own experience in their relations to their husbands and their children4 ,maternity1 and the relation in which it originates1 are thrust upon them by their husbands1 often without regard to their spiritual or physical conditions1 and often in contempt of their earnest and urgent entreaties4 ,no joy comes to their heart at the conception and birth of their children1 except that which arises from the consciousness that they have survived the sufferings wantonly and selfishly inflicted upon them4 #d4 ,,husband1 ,,when ,,maternity is imposed on your wife without her consent1 and contrary to her appeal1 how will her mind necessarily be affected towards her child8 ,it was conceived in dread and in bitterness of spirit4 ,every stage of its foetal development is watched with feeling of settled repugnance4 ,in every step of its ante-natal progress the child meets only with grief and indignation in the mother4 ,she would crush out its life1 if she could4 ,she loathed its conception2 she loathed it in every stage of its ante-natal development4 ,instead of fixing her mind on devising ways and means for the healthful and happy organization and development of her child before it is born1 and for its post natal comfort and support1 her soul may be intent on its destruction1 and her thoughts devise plans to kill it4 ,in this1 how often is she aided by others6 ,there are those1 and they are called men and women1 whose profession is to devise ways to kill children before they are born4 ,those who do this would not hesitate 7but for the consequences7 to kill them after they are born1 for the state of mind that would justify and instigate ante-natal child-murder would justify and instigate post-natal child-murder4 ,yet1 public sentiment consigns the murderer of post-natal children to the dungeon or the gallows1 while the murderers of antenatal children are often allowed to pass in society as honest and honorable men and women4 #e4 ,,the ,,following ,,is ,,an ,,extract from a letter written by one who has proudly and nobly filled the station of a wife and mother1 and whose children and grandchildren surround her and crown her life with tenderest love and respect3 ,it has often been a matter of wonder to me that men should1 so heedlessly1 and so injuriously to themselves1 their wives and children1 and their homes1 demand at once1 as soon as they get legal possession of their wives1 the gratification of a passion1 which1 when indulged merely for the sake of the gratification of the moment1 must end in the destruction of all that is beautiful1 noble and divine in man or woman4 ,i have often felt that ,i would give the world for a friendship with man that should show no impurity in its bearing1 and for a conjugal relation that would1 at all times1 heartily and practically recognize the right of the wife to decide for herself when she should enter into the relation that leads to maternity4 #f4 ,,timely ,,advice4--,here let me say that on no subject should a man and woman1 as they are being attracted into conjugal relations1 be more open and truthful with each other than on this4 ,no woman1 who would save herself and the man she loves from a desecrated and wretched home1 should enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man until she understands what he expects of her as to the function of maternity1 and the relation that leads to it4 ,if a woman is made aware that the man who would win her as a wife regards her and the marriage relation only as the means of a legalized gratification of his passions1 and she sees fit to live with him as a wife1 with such a prospect before her1 she must take the consequences of a course so degrading and so shameless4 ,if she sees fit to make an offering of her body and soul on the altar of her husband's sensuality1 she must do it2 but she has a right to know to what base uses her womanhood is to be put1 and it is due to her1 as well as to himself1 that he should tell beforehand precisely what he wants and expects of her4 ,too frequently1 man shrinks from all allusion1 during courtship1 to his expectations in regard to future passional relations4 ,he fears to speak of them1 lest he should shock and repel the woman he would win as a wife4 ,being conscious1 it may be1 of an intention to use power he may acquire over her person for his own gratification1 he shuns all interchange of views with her1 lest she should divine the hidden sensualism of his soul1 and his intention to victimize her person to it the moment he shall get the license4 ,a woman had better die at once than enter into or continue in marriage with a man whose highest conception of the relation is1 that it is a means of licensed animal indulgence4 ,in such a relation1 body and soul are sacrificed4 #g4 ,,one ,,distinctive ,,characteristic of a true and noble husband is a feeling of manly pride in the physical elements of his manhood4 ,his physical manhood1 as well as his soul1 is dear to the heart of his wife1 because through this he can give the fullest expression of his manly power4 ,how can you1 my friend1 secure for your person the loving care and respect of your wife8 ,there is but one way3 so manifest yourself to her1 in the hours of your most endearing intimacies1 that all your manly power shall be associated only with all that is generous1 just and noble in you1 and with purity1 freedom and happiness in her4 ,make her feel that all which constitutes you a man1 and qualifies you to be her husband and the father of her children1 belongs to her1 and is sacredly consecrated to the perfection and happiness of her nature4 ,do this1 and the happiness of your home is made complete ,your body will be lovingly and reverently cared for1 because the wife of your bosom feels that it is the sacred symbol through which a noble1 manly love is ever speaking to her1 to cheer and sustain her4 #h4 ,,woman ,,is ,,ever ,,proud1 and justly so1 of the manly passion of her husband1 when she knows it is controlled by a love for her1 whose manifestations have regard only to her elevation and happiness4 ,the power which1 when bent only on selfish indulgence1 becomes a source of more shame1 degradation1 disease and wretchedness1 to women and to children than all other things put together1 does but ennoble her1 add grace and glory to her being1 and concentrate and vitalize the love that encircles her as a wife when it is controlled by wisdom and consecrated to her highest growth and happiness1 and that of her children4 ,it lends enchantment to her person1 and gives a fascination to her smiles1 her words and her caresses1 which ever breathe of purity and of heaven1 and make her all lovely as a wife and mother to her husband and the father of her child4 ,manly passion is to the conjugal love of the wife like the sun to the rose-bud1 that opens its petals1 and causes them to give out their sweetest fragrance and to display their most delicate tints2 or like the frost1 which chills and kills it ere it blossoms in its richness and beauty4 #i4 ,a ,,diadem ,,of ,,beauty4--,maternity1 when it exists at the call of the wife1 and is gratefully received1 but binds her heart more tenderly and devotedly to her husband4 ,as the father of her child1 he stands before her invested with new beauty and dignity4 ,in receiving from him the germ of a new life1 she receives that which she feels is to add new beauty and glory to her as a woman--a new grace and attraction to her as a wife4 ,she loves and honors him1 because he has crowned her with the glory of a mother4 ,maternity1 to her1 instead of being repulsive1 is a diadem of beauty1 a crown of rejoicing2 and deep1 tender1 and self-forgetting are her love and reverence for him who has placed it on her brow4 ,how noble1 how august1 how beautiful is maternity when thus bestowed and received6 #aj4 ,,conclusion4--,would you1 then1 secure the love and trust of your wife1 and become an object of her ever-growing tenderness and reverence8 ,assure her1 by all your manifestations1 and your perfect respect for the functions of her nature1 that your passion shall be in subjection of her wishes4 ,it is not enough that you have secured in her heart respect for your spiritual and intellectual manhood4 ,to maintain your self-respect in your relations with her1 to perfect your growth and happiness as a husband1 you must cause your physical nature to be tenderly cherished and reverenced by her in all the sacred intimacies of home4 ,no matter how much she reverences your intellectual or your social power1 if by reason of your uncalled-for passional manifestations you have made your physical manhood disagreeable1 how can you1 in her presence1 preserve a sense of manly pride and dignity as a husband8 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,health ,,and ,,disease4 ,heredity and the ,transmission of ,diseases4 #a4 ,,bad ,,habits4--,it is known that the girl who marries the man with bad habits1 is1 in a measure1 responsible for the evil tendencies which these habits have created in the children2 and young people are constantly warned of the danger in marrying when they know they come from families troubled with chronic diseases or insanity4 ,to be sure the warnings have had little effect thus far in preventing such marriages1 and it is doubtful whether they will1 unless the prophecy of an extremist writing for one of our periodicals comes to pass--that the time is not far distant when such marriages will be a crime punishable by law4 #b4 ,,tendency ,,in ,,the ,,right ,,direction4--,that there is a tendency in the right direction must be admitted1 and is perhaps most clearly shown in some of the articles on prison reform4 ,many of them strongly urge the necessity of preventive work as the truest economy1 and some go so far as to say that if the present human knowledge of the laws of heredity were acted upon for a generation1 reformatory measures would be rendered unnecessary4 #c4 ,,serious ,,consequences4--,the mother who has ruined her health by late hours1 highly-spiced food1 and general carelessness in regard to hygienic laws1 and the father who is the slave of questionable habits1 will be very sure to have children either mentally or morally inferior to what they might otherwise have had a right to expect4 ,but the prenatal influences may be such that evils arising from such may be modified to a great degree4 #d4 ,,formation ,,of ,,character4--,i believe that pre-natal influences may do as much in the formation of character as all the education that can come after1 and that the mother may1 in a measure1 will what that influence shall be1 and that1 as knowledge on the subject increases1 it will be more and more under their control4 ,in that1 as in everything else1 things that would be possible with one mother would not be with another1 and measures that would be successful with one would produce opposite results from the other4 #e4 ,,inheriting ,,disease4 ,consumption--that dread foe of modern life--is the most frequently encountered of all affections as the result of inherited predispositions4 ,indeed1 some of the most eminent physicians have believed it is never produced in any other way4 ,heart disease1 disease of the throat1 excessive obesity1 affections of the skin1 asthma1 disorders of the brain and nervous system1 gout1 rheumatism and cancer1 are all hereditary4 ,a tendency to bleed frequently1 profusely and uncontrollably1 from trifling wounds1 is often met with as a family affection4 #f4 ,,mental ,,derangements4--,almost all forms of mental derangements are hereditary--one of the parents or near relation being afflicted4 ,physical or bodily weakness is often hereditary1 such as scrofula1 gout1 rheumatism1 rickets1 consumption1 apoplexy1 hernia1 urinary calculi1 hemorrhoids or piles1 cataract1 etc4 ,in fact1 all physical weakness1 if ingrafted in either parent1 is transmitted from parents to offspring1 and is often more strongly marked in the latter than in the former4 #g4 ,,marks ,,and ,,deformities4--,marks and deformities are all transmissible from parents to offspring1 equally with diseases and peculiar proclivities4 ,among such blemishes may be mentioned moles1 hair-lips1 deficient or supernumerary fingers1 toes1 and other characteristics4 ,it is also asserted that dogs and cats that have accidentally lost their tails1 bring forth young similarly deformed4 ,blumenbach tells of a man who had lost his little finger1 having children with the same deformity4 #h4 ,,caution4--,taking facts like these into consideration1 how very important is it for persons1 before selecting partners for life1 to deliberately weigh every element and circumstances of this nature1 if they would insure a felicitous union1 and not entail upon their posterity disease1 misery and despair4 ,alas6 in too many instances matrimony is made a matter of money1 while all earthly joys are sacrificed upon the accursed altars of lust and mammon4 ,illustration3 ,outdoor ,sports ,good ,training ,for ,morals ,as ,well ,as ,health4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,preparation ,,for ,,maternity4 #a4 ,,woman ,,before ,,marriage4--,it is not too much to say that the life of women before marriage ought to be adjusted with more reference to their duties as mothers than to any other one earthly object4 ,it is the continuance of the race which is the chief purpose of marriage4 ,the passion of amativeness is probably1 on the whole1 the most powerful of all human impulses4 ,its purpose1 however1 is rather to subserve the object of continuing the species1 than merely its own gratification4 #b4 ,,exercise4--,girls should be brought up to live much in the open air1 always with abundant clothing against wet and cold4 ,they should be encouraged to take much active exercise2 as much1 if they2 want to1 as boys4 ,it is as good for little girls to run and jump1 to ramble in the woods1 to go boating1 to ride and drive1 to play and have fun generally1 as for little boys4 #c4 ,,preserve ,,the ,,sight4--,children should be carefully prevented from using their eyes to read or write1 or in any equivalent exertion1 either before breakfast1 by dim daylight1 or by artificial light4 ,even school studies should be such that they can be dealt with by daylight4 ,lessons that cannot be learned without lamp-light study are almost certainly excessive4 ,this precaution should ordinarily be maintained until the age of puberty is reached4 #d4 ,,bathing4--,bathing should be enforced according to constitutions1 not by an invariable rule1 except the invariable rule of keeping clean4 ,not necessarily every day1 nor necessarily in cold water2 though those conditions are doubtless often right in case of abundant physical health and strength4 #e4 ,,wrong ,,habits4--,the habit of daily natural evacuations should be solicitously formed and maintained4 ,words or figures could never express the discomforts and wretchedness which wrong habits in this particular have locked down upon innumerable women for years and even for life4 #f4 ,,dress4--,dress should be warm1 loose1 comely1 and modest rather than showy2 but it should be good enough to ,satisfy a child's desires after a good appearance1 if they are reasonable4 ,children1 indeed1 should have all their reasonable desires granted as far as possible2 for nothing makes them reasonable so rapidly and so surely as to treat them reasonably4 #g4 ,,tight ,,lacing4--,great harm is often done to maidens for want of knowledge in them1 or wisdom and care in their parents4 ,the extremes of fashions are very prone to violate not only taste1 but physiology4 ,such cases are tight lacing1 low necked dresses1 thin shoes1 heavy skirts4 ,and yet1 if the ladies only knew1 the most attractive costumes are not the extremes of fashion1 but those which conform to fashion enough to avoid oddity1 which preserve decorum and healthfulness1 whether or no2 and here is the great secret of successful dress--vary fashion so as to suit the style of the individual4 #h4 ,,courtship ,,and ,,marriage4--,last of all1 parental care in the use of whatever influence can be exerted in the matter of courtship and marriage4 ,maidens1 as well as youths1 must1 after all1 choose for themselves4 ,it is their own lives which they take in their hands as they enter the marriage state1 and not their parents2 and as the consequences affect them primarily it is the plainest justice that with the responsibility should be joined the right of choice4 ,the parental influence1 then1 must be indirect and advisory4 ,indirect1 through the whole bringing up of their daughter2 for if they have trained her aright1 she will be incapable of enduring a fool1 still more a knave4 #i4 ,a ,,young ,,woman ,,and ,a ,,young ,,man ,,had ,,better ,,not ,,be ,,alone ,,together ,,very ,,much ,,until ,,they ,,are ,,married4--,this will be found to prevent a good many troubles4 ,it is not meant to imply that either sex1 or any member of it1 is worse than another1 or bad at all1 or anything but human4 ,it is simply the prescription of a safe general rule4 ,it is no more an imputation than the rule that people had better not be left without oversight in presence of large sums of other folks' money4 ,the close personal proximity of the sexes is greatly undesirable before marriage4 ,kisses and caresses are most properly the monopoly of wives4 ,such indulgences have a direct and powerful physiological effect4 ,nay1 they often lead to the most fatal results4 #aj4 ,,ignorance ,,before ,,marriage4--,at some time before marriage those who are to enter into it ought to be made acquainted with some of the plainest common-sense limitations which should govern their new relations to each other4 ,ignorance in such matters has caused an infinite amount of disgust1 pain and unhappiness4 ,it is not necessary to specify particulars here2 see other portions of this work4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,healthy ,,mother4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,impregnation4 #a4 ,,conception ,,or ,,impregnation4--,conception or impregnation takes place by the union of the male sperm and female sperm4 ,whether this is accomplished in the ovaries1 the oviducts or the uterus1 is still a question of discussion and investigation by physiologists4 #b4 ,,passing ,,off ,,the ,,ovum4--,with many women1 says ,dr4 ,stockham in her ,tokology1 the ovum passes off within twenty-four or forty-eight hours after menstruation begins4 ,some1 by careful observation1 are able to know with certainty when this takes place4 ,it is often accompanied with malaise1 nervousness1 headache or actual uterine pain4 ,a minute substance like the white of an egg1 with a fleck of blood in it1 can frequently be seen upon the clothing4 ,ladies who have noticed this phenomenon testify to its recurring very regularly upon the same day after menstruation4 ,some delicate women have observed it as late as the fourteenth day4 #c4 ,,calculations4--,conception is more liable to take place either immediately before or immediately after the period1 and1 on that account it is usual when calculating the date at which to expect labor1 to count from the day of disappearance of the last period4 ,the easiest way to make a calculation is to count back three months from the date of the last period and add seven days2 thus we might say that the date was the #ahth of ,july2 counting back brings us to the #ahth of ,april1 and adding the seven days will bring us to the #beth day of ,april1 the expected time4 #d4 ,,evidence ,,of ,,conception4--,very many medical authorities1 distinguished in this line1 have stated their belief that women never pass more than two or three days at the most beyond the forty weeks conceded to pregnancy--that is two hundred and eighty days or ten lunar months1 or nine calendar months and a week4 ,about two hundred and eighty days will represent the average duration of pregnancy1 counting from the last day of the last period4 ,now it must be borne in mind1 that there are many disturbing elements which might cause the young married woman to miss a time4 ,during the first month of pregnancy there is no sign by which the condition may be positively known4 ,the missing of a period1 especially in a person who has1 been regular for some time1 may lead one to suspect it2 but there are many attendant causes in married life1 the little annoyances of household duties1 embarrassments1 and the enforced gayety which naturally surrounds the bride1 and these should all be taken into consideration in the discussion as to whether or not she is pregnant4 ,but then1 again1 there are some rare cases who have menstruated throughout their pregnancy1 and also cases where menstruation was never established and pregnancy occurred4 ,nevertheless1 the non-appearance of the period1 with other signs1 may be taken as presumptive evidence4 #e4 ,,artificial ,,impregnation4--,it may not be generally known that union is not essential to impregnation2 it is possible for conception to occur without congress4 ,all that is necessary is that seminal animalcules enter the womb and unite there with the egg or ovum4 ,it is not essential that the semen be introduced through the medium of the male organ1 as it has been demonstrated repeatedly that by means of a syringe and freshly obtained and healthy semen1 impregnation can be made to follow by its careful introduction4 ,there are physicians in ,france who make a specialty of ,artificial ,impregnation1 as it is called1 and produce children to otherwise childless couples1 being successful in many instances in supplying them as they are desired4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,signs ,,and ,,symptoms ,,of ,,pregnancy4 #a4 ,,the ,,first ,,sign4--,the first sign that leads a lady to suspect that she is pregnant is her ceasing-to-be-unwell4 ,this1 provided she has just before been in good health1 is a strong symptom of pregnancy2 but still there must be others to corroborate it4 #b4 ,,abnormal ,,condition4--,occasionally1 women menstruate during the entire time of gestation4 ,this1 without doubt1 is an abnormal condition1 and should be remedied1 as disastrous consequences may result4 ,also1 women have been known to bear children who have never menstruated4 ,the cases are rare of pregnancy taking place where menstruation has never occurred1 yet it frequently happens that women never menstruate from one pregnancy to another4 ,in these cases this symptom is ruled out for diagnotic purposes4 #c4 ,,may ,,proceed ,,from ,,other ,,causes4--,but a ceasing-to-be-unwell may proceed from other causes than that of pregnancy such as disease or disorder of the womb or of other organs of the body--especially of the lungs--it is not by itself alone entirely to be depended upon2 although1 as a single sign1 it is1 especially if the patient be healthy1 one of the most reliable of all the other signs of pregnancy4 ,illustration3 ,,embryo ,,of ,,twenty ,,days1 ,,laid ,,open3 b1 the ,back2 a a a ,covering1 and pinned to ,back4 #d4 ,,morning ,,sickness4--,if this does not arise from a disordered stomach1 it is a trustworthy sign of pregnancy4 ,a lady who has once had morning-sickness can always for the future distinguish it from each and from every other sickness2 it is a peculiar sickness1 which no other sickness can simulate4 ,moreover1 it is emphatically a morning-sickness--the patient being1 as a rule1 for the rest of the day entirely free from sickness or from the feeling of sickness4 #e4 ,a ,,third ,,symptom4--,a third symptom is shooting1 throbbing and lancinating pains in1 and enlargement of the breasts1 with soreness of the nipples1 occurring about the second month4 ,in some instances1 after the first few months1 a small quantity of watery fluid or a little milk1 may be squeezed out or them4 ,this latter symptom1 in a first pregnancy1 is valuable1 and can generally be relied on as fairly conclusive of pregnancy4 ,milk in the breast1 however small it may be in quantity1 especially in a first pregnancy1 is a reliable sign1 indeed1 we might say1 a certain sign1 of pregnancy4 #f4 ,a ,,dark ,,brown ,,areola ,,or ,,mark around the nipple is one of the distinguishing signs of pregnancy--more especially of a first pregnancy4 ,women who have had large families1 seldom1 even when they are not pregnant1 lose this mark entirely2 but when they are pregnant it is more intensely dark--the darkest brown--especially if they be brunettes4 #g4 ,,quickening4--,quickening is one of the most important signs of pregnancy1 and one of the most valuable1 as at the moment it occurs1 as a rule1 the motion of the child is first felt1 whilst1 at the same time1 there is a sudden increase in the size of the abdomen4 ,quickening is a proof that nearly half the time of pregnancy has passed4 ,if there be liability to miscarry1 quickening makes matters more safe1 as there is less likelihood of a miscarriage after than before it4 ,a lady at this time frequently feels faint or actually faints away2 she is often giddy1 or sick1 or nervous1 and in some instances even hysterically2 although1 in rare cases1 some women do not even know the precise time when they quicken4 #h4 ,,increased ,,size ,,and ,,hardness ,,of ,,the ,,abdomen4--,this is very characteristic of pregnancy4 ,when a lady is not pregnant the abdomen is soft and flaccid2 when she is pregnant1 and after she has quickened1 the abdomen2 over the region of the womb1 is hard and resisting4 ,illustration3 ,,embryo ,,at ,,thirty ,,days a1 the ,head2 b1 the ,eyes2 d the ,neck2 e1 the ,chest2 f1 the ,abdomen4 #i4 ,,excitability ,,of ,,mind4--,excitability of mind is very common in pregnancy1 more especially if the patient be delicate2 indeed1 excitability is a sign of debility1 and requires plenty of good nourishment1 but few stimulants4 #aj4 ,,eruptions ,,on ,,the ,,skin4--,principally on the face1 neck1 or throat1 are tell-tales of pregnancy1 and to an experienced matron1 publish the fact that an acquaintance thus marked is pregnant4 #aa4 ,,the ,,foetal ,,heart4--,in the fifth month there is a sign which1 if detected1 furnishes indubitable evidence of conception1 and that is the sound of the child's heart4 ,if the ear be placed on the abdomen1 over the womb1 the beating of the foetal heart can sometimes be heard quite plainly1 and by the use of an instrument called the stethoscope1 the sounds can be still more plainly heard4 ,this is a very valuable sign1 inasmuch as the presence of the child is not only ascertained1 but also its position1 and whether there are twins or more4 ,illustration3 ,baby ,elizabeth1 ,brought ,into the ,world by the ,twilight ,sleep ,method4 ,it ,robs ,child ,bearing of ,most of ,its ,terrors4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,diseases ,,of ,,pregnancy4 #a4 ,,costive ,,state ,,of ,,the ,,bowels4--,a costive state of the bowels is common in pregnancy2 a mild laxative is therefore occasionally necessary4 ,the mildest must be selected1 as a strong purgative is highly improper1 and even dangerous4 ,calomel and all other preparations of mercury are to be especially avoided1 as a mercurial medicine is apt to weaken the system1 and sometimes even to produce a miscarriage4 ,let me again urge the importance of a lady1 during the whole period of pregnancy1 being particular as to the state of her bowels1 as costiveness is a fruitful cause of painful1 tedious and hard labors4 #b4 ,,laxatives4--,the best laxatives are caster oil1 salad oil1 compound rhubarb pills1 honey1 stewed prunes1 stewed rhubarb1 ,muscatel raisins1 figs1 grapes1 roasted apples1 baked pears1 stewed ,normandy pippins1 coffee1 brown-bread and treacle4 ,scotch oatmeal made with new milk or water1 or with equal parts of milk and water4 #c4 ,,pills4--,when the motions are hard1 and when the bowels are easily acted upon1 two1 or three1 or four pills made of ,castile soap will frequently answer the purpose2 and if they will1 are far better than any other ordinary laxative4 ,the following is a good form4 ,take of3 ,castile ,soap1 five scruples2 ,oil of ,caraway1 six drops2 ,to make twenty-four pills4 ,two1 or three1 or four to be taken at bedtime1 occasionally4 #d4 ,,honey4--,a teaspoonful of honey1 either eaten at breakfast or dissolved in a cup of tea1 will frequently1 comfortably and effectually1 open the bowels1 and will supersede the necessity of taking laxative medicine4 #e4 ,,nature',s ,,medicines4--,now1 ,nature's medicines--exercise in the open air1 occupation1 and household duties--on the contrary1 not only at the time open the bowels1 but keep up a proper action for the future2 her--their inestimable superiority4 #f4 ,,warm ,,water ,,injections4--,an excellent remedy for costiveness of pregnancy is an enema1 either of warm water1 or of ,castile soap and water1 which the patient1 by means of a self-injecting enema-apparatus1 may administer to herself4 ,the quantity of warm water to be used1 is from half a pint to a pint2 the proper heat is the temperature of new milk2 the time for administering it is early in the morning1 twice or three times a week4 #g4 ,,muscular ,,pains ,,of ,,the ,,abdomen4--,the best remedy is an abdominal belt constructed for pregnancy1 and adjusted with proper straps and buckles to accomodate the gradually increasing size of the womb4 ,this plan often affords great comfort and relief2 indeed1 such a belt is indispensably necessary4 #h4 ,,diarrhea4--,although the bowels in pregnancy are generally costive1 they are sometimes in an opposite state1 and are relaxed4 ,now1 this relaxation is frequently owing to there having been prolonged constipation1 and ,nature is trying to relieve herself by purging4 ,do not check it1 but allow it to have its course1 and take a little rhubarb or magnesia4 ,the diet should be simple1 plain1 and nourishing1 and should consist of beef tea1 chicken broth1 arrow-root1 and of well-made and well-boiled oatmeal gruel4 ,butcher's meat1 for a few days1 should not be eaten2 and stimulants of all kinds must be avoided4 #i4 ,,fidgets4--,a pregnant lady sometimes suffers severely from fidgets2 it generally affects her feet and legs1 especially at night1 so as to entirely destroy her sleep2 she cannot lie still2 she every few minutes moves1 tosses and tumbles about--first on one side1 then on the other4 ,the causes of fidgets are a heated state of the blood2 an irritable condition of the nervous system1 prevailing at that particular time2 and want of occupution4 ,the treatment of fidgets consists of3 sleeping in a well-ventilated apartment1 with either window or door open2 a thorough ablution of the whole body every morning1 and a good washing with tepid water of the face1 neck1 chest1 arms and hands every night2 shunning hot and close rooms2 taking plenty of out-door exercise2 living on a bland1 nourishing1 put not rich diet2 avoiding meat at night1 and substituting in lieu thereof1 either a cupful of arrow-root made with milk1 or of well-boiled oatmeal gruel4 #aj4 ,,exercise4--,if a lady1 during the night1 have the fidgets1 she should get out of bed2 take a short walk up and down the room1 being well protected by a dressing-gown2 empty her bladders turn1 her pillow1 so as to have the cold side next the head2 and then lie down again2 and the chances are that she will now fall asleep4 ,if during the day she have the fidgets1 a ride in an open carriage2 or a stroll in the garden1 or in the fields2 or a little housewifery1 will do her good1 and there is nothing like fresh air1 exercise1 and occupation to drive away the fidgets4 #aa4 ,,heartburn4--,heartburn is a common and often a distressing symptom of pregnancy4 ,the acid producing the heartburn is frequently much increased by an overloaded stomach4 ,an abstemious diet ought to be strictly observed4 ,great attention should be paid to the quality of the food4 ,greens1 pastry1 hot buttered toast1 melted butter1 and everything that is rich and gross1 ought to be carefully avoided4 ,either a teaspoonful of heavy calcined magnesia1 or half a teaspoonful of carbonate of soda--the former to be preferred if there be constipation--should occasionally be taken in a wine-glassful of warm water4 ,if these do not relieve--the above directions as to diet having been strictly attended to--the following mixture ought to be tried4 ,take of3 ,carbonate of ,ammonia1 half a drachm2 ,bicarbonate of ,soda1 a drachm and a half2 ,water1 eight ounces2 ,to make a mixture3 ,two tablespoonfuls to be taken twice or three times a day1 until relief be obtained4 #ab4 ,,wind ,,in ,,the ,,stomach ,,and ,,bowels4--,this is a frequent reason why a pregnant lady cannot sleep at night4 ,the two most frequent causes of flatulence are1 first1 the want of walking exercise during the day1 and second1 the eating of a hearty meal just before going to bed at night4 ,the remedies are1 of course1 in each instance1 self-evident4 #ac4 ,,swollen ,,legs ,,from ,,enlarged ,,veins 7,,varicose ,,veins47--,the veins are frequently much enlarged and distended1 causing the legs to be greatly swollen and very painful1 preventing the patient from taking proper walking exercise4 ,swollen legs are owing to the pressure of the womb upon the blood-vessels above4 ,women who have had large families are more liable than others to varicose veins4 ,if a lady marry late in life1 or if she be very heavy in pregnancy carrying the child low down she is more likely to have distention of the veins4 ,the best plan will be for her to wear during the day an elastic stocking1 which ought to be made on purpose for her1 in order that it may properly fit the leg and foot4 #ad4 ,,stretching ,,of ,,the ,,skin ,,of ,,the ,,abdomen4 ,this is frequently1 in a first pregnancy1 distressing1 from the soreness it causes4 ,the best remedy is to rub the abdomen1 every night and morning1 with warm camphorated oil1 and to wear a belt during the day and a broad flannel bandage at night1 both of which should be put on moderately but comfortably tight4 ,the belt must be secured in its situation by means of properly adjusted straps4 #ae4 ,,before ,,the ,,approach ,,of ,,labor4--,the patient1 before the approach of labor1 ought to take particular care to have the bowels gently opened1 as during that state a costive state greatly increases her sufferings1 and lengthens the period of her labor4 ,a gentle action is all that is necessary2 a violent one would do more harm than good4 #af4 ,,swollen ,,and ,,painful ,,breasts4 ,the breasts are1 at times1 during pregnancy1 much swollen and very painful2 and1 now and then1 they2 cause the patient great uneasiness1 as she fancies that she is going to have either some dreadful tumor or a gathering of the bosom4 ,there need1 in such a case1 be no apprehension4 ,the swelling and the pain are the consequences of the pregnancy1 and will in due time subside without any unpleasant result4 ,for treatment she cannot do better than rub them well1 every night and morning1 with equal parts of ,eau de ,cologne and olive oil1 and wear a piece of new flannel over them2 taking care to cover the nipples with soft linen1 as the friction of the flannel might irritate them4 #ag4 ,,bowel ,,complaints4 ,bowel complaints1 during pregnancy1 are not unfrequent4 ,a dose either of rhubarb and magnesia1 or of castor oil1 are the best remedies1 and are generally1 in the way of medicine1 all that is necessary4 #ah4 ,,cramps4 ,cramps of the legs and of the thighs during the latter period1 and especially at night1 are apt to attend pregnancy1 and are caused by the womb pressing upon the nerves which extend to the lower extremities4 ,treatment4 ,tightly tie a handkerchief1 folded like a neckerchief1 round the limb a little above the part affected1 and let it remain on for a few minutes4 ,friction by means of the hand either with opodeldoc or with laudanum1 taking care not to drink the lotion by mistake1 will also give relief4 #ai4 ,,the ,,whites4 ,the whites during pregnancy1 especially during the latter months1 and particularly if the lady have had many children1 are frequently troublesome1 and are1 in a measure1 occasioned by the pressure of the womb on the parts below1 causing irritation4 ,the best way1 therefore1 to obviate such pressure is for the patient to lie down a great part of each day either on a bed or a sofa4 ,she ought to retire early to rest3 she should sleep on a hair mattress and in a well ventilated apartment1 and should not overload her bed with clothes4 ,a thick1 heavy quilt at these times1 and indeed at all times1 is particularly objectionable2 the perspiration cannot pass readily through it as through blankets1 and thus she is weakened4 ,she ought to live on plain1 wholesome1 nourishing food2 and she must abstain from beer and wine and spirits4 ,the bowels ought to be gently opened by means of a ,seidlitz powder1 which should occasionally be taken early in the morning4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,precious ,,flower4 #bj4 ,,irritation ,,and ,,itching ,,of ,,the ,,external ,,parts4--,this is a most troublesome affection1 and may occur at any time1 but more especially during the latter period of the pregnancy4 ,let her diet be simple and nourishing2 let her avoid stimulants of all kinds4 ,let her take a sitz-bath of warm water1 considerably salted4 ,let her sit in the bath with the body thoroughly covered4 #ba4 ,,hot ,,and ,,inflamed4--,the external parts1 and the passage to the womb 7vagina71 in these cases1 are not only irritable and itching1 but are sometimes hot and inflamed1 and are covered either with small pimples1 or with a whitish exudation of the nature of aphtha 7thrush71 somewhat similar to the thrush on the mouth of an infant2 then1 the addition of glycerine to the lotion is a great improvement and usually gives much relief4 #bb4 ,,biliousness,footnote3 ,some of these valuable suggestions are taken from ,parturition ,without ,pain1 by ,dr4 ,m4,l4 ,holbrook4 is defined by some one as piggishness4 ,generally it may be regarded as overfed4 ,the elements of the bile are in the blood in excess of the power of the liver to eliminate them4 ,this may be caused either from the superabundance of the materials from which the bile is made or by inaction of the organ itself4 ,being thus retained the system is clogged4 ,it is the result of either too much food in quantity or too rich in quality4 ,especially is it caused by the excessive use of fats and sweets4 ,the simplest remedy is the best4 ,a plain1 light diet with plenty of acid fruits1 avoiding fats and sweets1 will ameliorate or remove it4 ,don't force the appetite4 ,let hunger demand food4 ,in the morning the sensitiveness of the stomach may be relieved by taking before rising a cup of hot water1 hot milk1 hot lemonade1 rice or barley water1 selecting according to preference4 ,for this purpose many find coffee made from browned wheat or corn the best drink4 ,depend for a time upon liquid food that can be taken up by absorbents4 ,the juice of lemons and other acid fruits is usually grateful1 and assists in assimilating any excess in nutriment4 ,these may be diluted according to taste4 ,with many1 an egg lemonade proves relishing and acceptable4 #bc4 ,,deranged ,,appetite4--,where the appetite fails1 let the patient go without eating for a little while1 say for two or three meals4 ,if1 however1 the strength begins to go1 try the offering of some unexpected delicacy2 or give small quantities of nourishing food1 as directed in case of morning sickness4 #bd4 ,,piles4--,for cases of significance consult a physician4 ,as with constipation1 so with piles1 its frequent result1 fruit diet1 exercise1 and sitz-bath regimen will do much to prevent the trouble4 ,frequent local applications of a cold compress1 and even of ice1 and tepid water injections1 are of great service4 ,walking or standing aggravate this complaint4 ,lying down alleviates it4 ,dr4 ,shaw says1 ,there is nothing in the world that will produce so great relief in piles as fasting4 ,if the fit is severe1 live a whole day1 or even two1 if necessary1 upon pure soft cold water alone4 ,give then very lightly of vegetable food4 #be4 ,,toothache4--,there is a sort of proverb that a woman loses one tooth every time she has a child4 ,neuralgic toothache during pregnancy is1 at any rate1 extremely common1 and often has to be endured4 ,it is generally thought not best to have teeth extracted during pregnancy1 as the shock to the nervous system has sometimes caused miscarriage4 ,to wash out the mouth morning and night with cold or lukewarm water and salt is often of use4 ,if the teeth are decayed1 consult a good dentist in the early stages of pregnancy1 and have the offending teeth properly dressed4 ,good dentists1 in the present state of the science1 extract very few teeth1 but save them4 #bf4 ,,salivation4--,excessive secretion of the saliva has usually been reckoned substantially incurable4 ,fasting1 cold water treatment1 exercise and fruit diet may be relied on to prevent1 cure or alleviate it1 where this is possible1 as it frequently is4 #bg4 ,,headache4--,this is1 perhaps1 almost as common in cases of pregnancy as morning sickness4 ,it may be from determination of blood to the head1 from constipation or indigestion1 constitutional sick headache1 from neuralgia1 from a cold1 from rheumatism4 ,correct living will prevent much headache trouble2 and where this does not answer the purpose1 rubbing and making magnetic passes over the head by the hand of some healthy magnetic person will often prove of great service4 #bh4 ,,liver-,,spots4--,these1 on the face1 must probably be endured1 as no trustworthy way of driving them off is known4 #bi4 ,,jaundice4--,see the doctor4 #cj4 ,,pain ,,on ,,the ,,right ,,side4--,this is liable to occur from about the fifth to the eighth month1 and is attributed to the pressure of the enlarging womb upon the liver4 ,proper living is most likely to alleviate it4 ,wearing a wet girdle in daytime or a wet compress at night1 sitz-baths1 and friction with the wet hand may also be tried4 ,if the pain is severe a mustard poultice may be used4 ,exercise should be carefully moderated if found to increase the pain4 ,if there is fever and inflammation with it1 consult a physician4 ,it is usually not dangerous1 but uncomfortable only4 #ca4 ,,palpitation ,,of ,,the ,,heart4--,to be prevented by healthy living and calm1 good humor4 ,lying down will often gradually relieve it1 so will a compress wet with water1 as hot as can be borne1 placed over the heart and renewed as often as it gets cool4 #cb4 ,,fainting4--,most likely to be caused by quickening1 or else by tight dress1 bad air1 over-exertion1 or other unhealthy living4 ,it is not often dangerous4 ,lay the patient in an easy posture1 the head rather low than high1 and where cool air may blow across the face2 loosen the dress if tight2 sprinkle cold water on the face and hands4 #cc4 ,,sleeplessness4--,most likely to be caused by incorrect living1 and to be prevented and cured by the opposite4 ,a glass or two of cold water drank deliberately on going to bed often helps one to go to sleep2 so does bathing the face and hands and the feet in cold water4 ,a short nap in the latter part of the forenoon can sometimes be had1 and is of use4 ,such a nap ought not to be too long1 or it leaves a heavy feeling2 it should be sought with the mind in a calm state1 in a well-ventilated though darkened room1 and with the clothing removed1 as at night4 ,a similar nap in the afternoon is not so good1 but is better than nothing4 ,the tepid sitz-bath on going to bed will often produce sleep1 and so will gentle percussion given by an attendant with palms of the hand over the back for a few minutes on retiring4 ,to secure sound sleep do not read1 write or severely tax the mind in the evening4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,morning ,,sickness4 #a4 ,a pregnant woman is especially liable to suffer many forms of dyspepsia1 nervous troubles1 sleeplessness1 etc4 #b4 ,,morning ,,sickness is the most common and is the result of an irritation in the womb1 caused by some derangement1 and it is greatly irritated by the habit of indulging in sexual gratification during pregnancy4 ,if people would imitate the lower animals and reserve the vital forces of the mother for the benefit of her unborn child1 it would be a great boon to humanity4 ,morning sickness may begin the next day after conception1 but it usually appears from two to three weeks after the beginning of pregnancy and continues with more or less severity from two to four months4 #c4 ,,home ,,treatment ,,for ,,morning ,,sickness4--,avoid all highly seasoned and rich food4 ,also avoid strong tea and coffee4 ,eat especially light and simple suppers at five o'clock and no later than six4 ,some simple broths1 such as will be found in the cooking department of this book will be very nourishing and soothing4 ,coffee made from brown wheat or corn is an excellent remedy to use4 ,the juice of lemons reduced with water will sometimes prove very effectual4 ,a good lemonade with an egg well stirred is very nourishing and toning to the stomach4 #d4 ,,hot ,,fomentation on the stomach and liver is excellent1 and warm and hot water injections are highly beneficial4 #e4 ,a little powdered magnesia at bed time1 taken in a little milk1 will often give almost permanent relief4 #f4 ,avoid corsets or any other pressure upon the stomach4 ,all garments must be worn loosely4 ,in many cases this will entirely prevent all stomach disturbances4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,relation ,,of ,,husband ,,and ,,wife ,,during ,,pregnancy4 #a4 ,,miscarriage4--,if the wife is subject to miscarriage every precaution should be employed to prevent its happening again4 ,under such exceptional circumstances the husband should sleep apart the first five months of pregnancy2 after that length of time1 the ordinary relation may be assumed4 ,if miscarriage has taken place1 intercourse should be avoided for a month or six weeks at least after the accident4 #b4 ,,impregnation4--,impregnation is the only mission of intercourse1 and after that has taken place1 intercourse can subserve no other purpose than sensual gratification4 #c4 ,,woman ,,must ,,judge4--,every man should recognize the fact that woman is the sole umpire as to when1 how frequent1 and under what circumstances1 connection should take place4 ,her desires should not be ignored1 for her likes and dislikes are--as seen in another part of this book--easily impressed upon the unborn child4 ,if she is strong and healthy there is no reason why passion should not be gratified with moderation and caution during the whole period of pregnancy1 but she must be the sole judge and her desires supreme4 #d4 ,,voluntary ,,instances4--,no voluntary instances occur through the entire animal kingdom4 ,all females repel with force and fierceness the approaches of the male4 ,the human family is the only exception4 ,a man that loves his wife1 however1 will respect her under all circumstances and recognize her condition and yield to her wishes4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,private ,,word ,,to ,,the ,,expectant ,,mother4 ,elizabeth ,cady ,stanton1 in a lecture to ladies1 thus strongly states her views regarding maternity and painless childbirth3 ,we must educate our daughters to think that motherhood is grand1 and that ,god never cursed it4 ,and this curse1 if it be a curse1 may be rolled off1 as man has rolled away the curse of labor2 as the curse has been rolled from the descendants of ,ham4 ,my mission is to preach this new gospel4 ,if you suffer1 it is not because you are cursed of ,god1 but because you violate ,his laws4 ,what an incubus it would take from woman could she be educated to know that the pains of maternity are no curse upon her kind4 ,we know that among the ,indians the squaws do not suffer in childbirth4 ,they will step aside from the ranks1 even on the march1 and return in a short time to them with the new-born child4 ,what an absurdity then1 to suppose that only enlightened ,christian women are cursed4 ,but one word of fact is worth a volume of philosophy2 let me give you some of my own experience4 ,i am the mother of seven children4 ,my girlhood was spent mostly in the open air4 ,i early imbibed the idea that a girl was just as good as a boy1 and ,i carried it out4 ,i would walk five miles before breakfast or ride ten on horseback4 ,after ,i was married ,i wore my clothing sensibly4 ,their weight hung entirely on my shoulders4 ,i never compressed my body out of its natural shape4 ,when my first four children were born1 ,i suffered very little4 ,i then made up my mind that it was totally unnecessary for me to suffer at all2 so ,i dressed lightly1 walked every day1 lived as much as possible in the open air1 ate no condiments or spices1 kept quiet1 listened to music1 looked at pictures1 and took proper care of myself4 ,the night before the birth of the child ,i walked three miles4 ,the child was born without a particle of pain4 ,i bathed it and dressed it1 and it weighed ten and one-half pounds4 ,that same day ,i dined with the family4 ,everybody said ,i would surely die1 but ,i never had a relapse or a moment's inconvenience from it4 ,i know this is not being delicate and refined1 but if you would be vigorous and healthy1 in spite of the diseases of your ancestors1 and your own disregard of nature's laws1 try it4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,shall ,,pregnant ,,women ,,work8 #a4 ,,over-,,worked ,,mothers4--,children born of over-worked mothers1 are liable to a be dwarfed and puny race4 ,however1 their chances are better than those of the children of inactive1 dependent1 indolent mothers who have neither brain nor muscle to transmit to son or daughter4 ,the truth seems to be that excessive labor1 with either body or mind1 is alike injurious to both men and women2 and herein lies the sting of that old curse4 ,this paragraph suggests all that need be said on the question whether pregnant women should or should not labor4 #b4 ,,foolishly ,,idle4--,at least it is certain that they should not be foolishly idle2 and on the other hand1 it is equally certain that they should be relieved from painful laborious occupations that exhaust and unfit them for happiness4 ,pleasant and useful physical and intellectual occupation1 however1 will not only do no harm1 but positive good4 #c4 ,,the ,,best ,,man ,,and ,,the ,,best ,,woman4--,the best man is he who can rear the best child1 and the best woman is she who can rear the best child4 ,we very properly extol to the skies ,harriet ,hosmer1 the artist1 for cutting in marble the statue of a ,zenobia2 how much more should we sing praises to the man and the woman who bring into the world a noble boy or girl4 ,the one is a piece of lifeless beauty1 the other a piece of life ,including all beauty1 all possibilities4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,words ,,for ,,young ,,mothers4 ,the act of nursing is sometimes painful to the mother1 especially before the habit is fully established4 ,the discomfort is greatly increased if the skin that covers the nipples is tender and delicate4 ,the suction pulls it off leaving them in a state in which the necessary pressure of the child's lips cause intense agony4 ,this can be prevented in a great measure1 says ,elizabeth ,robinson ,scovil1 in ,ladies' ,home ,journal1 if not entirely1 by bathing the nipples twice a day for six weeks before the confinement with powdered alum dissolved in alcohol2 or salt dissolved in brandy4 ,if there is any symptom of the skin cracking when the child begins2 to nurse1 they should be painted with a mixture of tannin and glycerine4 ,this must be washed off before the baby touches them and renewed when it leaves them4 ,if they are very painful1 the doctor will probably order morphia added to the mixture4 ,a rubber nipple shield to be put on at the time of nursing1 is a great relief4 ,if the nipples are retracted or drawn inward1 they can be drawn out painlessly by filling a pint bottle with boiling water1 emptying it and quickly applying the mouth over the nipple4 ,as the air in the bottle cools1 it condenses1 leaving a vacuum and the nipple is pushed out by the air behind it4 ,when the milk accumulates or cakes in the breast in hard patches1 they should be rubbed very gently1 from the base upwards1 with warm camphorated oil4 ,the rubbing should be the lightest1 most delicate stroking1 avoiding pressure4 ,if lumps appear at the base of the breast and it is red swollen and painful1 cloths wrung out of cold water should be applied and the doctor sent for4 ,while the breast is full and hard all over1 not much apprehension need be felt4 ,it is when lumps appear that the physician should be notified1 that he may1 if possible1 prevent the formation of abscesses4 ,while a woman is nursing she should eat plenty of nourishing food--milk1 oatmeal1 cracked wheat1 and good juicy1 fresh meat1 boiled1 roasted1 or broiled1 but not fried4 ,between each meal1 before going to bed1 and once during the night1 she should take a cup of cocoa1 gruel made with milk2 good beef tea1 mutton broth1 or any warm1 nutritive drink4 ,tea and coffee are to be avoided4 ,it is important to keep the digestion in order and the bowels should be carefully regulated as a means to this end4 ,if necessary1 any of the laxative mineral waters can be used for this purpose1 or a teaspoonful of compound licorice powder taken at night4 ,powerful cathartic medicines should be avoided because of their effect upon the baby4 ,the child should be weaned at nine months old1 unless this time comes in very hot weather1 or the infant is so delicate that a change of food would be injurious4 ,if the mother is not strong her nurseling will sometimes thrive better upon artificial food than on its natural nourishment4 ,by gradually lengthening the interval between the nursing and feeding the child1 when it is hungry1 the weaning can be accomplished without much trouble4 ,a young mother should wear warm underclothing1 thick stockings and a flannel jacket over her night dress1 unless she is in the habit of wearing an under vest4 ,if the body is not protected by warm clothing there is an undue demand upon the nervous energy to keep up the vital heat1 and nerve force is wasted by the attempt to compel the system to do what ought to be done for it by outside means4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,have ,,beautiful ,,children4 #a4 ,,parental ,,influence4--,the art of having handsome children has been a question that has interested the people of all ages and of all nationalities4 ,there is no longer a question as to the influence that parents may and do exert upon their offspring1 and it is shown in other parts of this book that beauty depends largely on the condition of health at the time of conception4 ,it is therefore of no little moment that parents should guard carefully their own health as well as that of their children1 that they may develop a vigorous constitution4 ,there cannot be beauty without good health4 #b4 ,,marrying ,,too ,,early4--,we know that marriage at too early an age1 or too late in life1 is apt to produce imperfectly developed children1 both mentally and physically4 ,the causes are self-evident3 ,a couple marrying too young1 they lack maturity and consequently will impart weakness to their offspring2 while on the other hand persons marrying late in life fail to find that normal condition which is conducive to the health and vigor of offspring4 #c4 ,,crossing ,,of ,,temperaments ,,and ,,nationalities4--,the ,crossing of temperaments and nationalities beautifies offspring4 ,if young persons of different nationalities marry1 their children under proper hygienic laws are generally handsome and healthy4 ,for instance1 an ,american and ,german or an ,irish and ,german uniting in marriage1 produces better looking children than those marrying in the same nationality4 ,persons of different temperaments uniting in marriage1 always produces a good effect upon offspring4 #d4 ,,the ,,proper ,,time4--,to obtain the best results1 conception should take place only when both parties are in the best physical condition4 ,if either parent is in any way indisposed at the time of conception the results will be seen in the health of the child4 ,many children brought in the world with diseases or other infirmities stamped upon their feeble frames show the indiscretion and ignorance of parents4 #e4 ,,during ,,pregnancy4--,during pregnancy the mother should take time for self improvement and cultivate an interest for admiring beautiful pictures or engravings which represent cheerful and beautiful figures4 ,secure a few good books illustrating art1 with some fine representations of statues and other attractive pictures4 ,the purchase of several illustrated an journals might answer the purpose4 #f4 ,,what ,,to ,,avoid4--,pregnant mothers should avoid thinking of ugly people1 or those marked by any deformity or disease2 avoid injury1 fright and disease of any kind4 ,also avoid ungraceful position and awkward attitude1 but cultivate grace and beauty in herself4 ,avoid difficulty with neighbors or other trouble4 #g4 ,,good ,,care4--,she should keep herself in good physical condition1 and the system well nourished1 as a want of food always injures the child4 #h4 ,,the ,,improvement ,,of ,,the ,,mind4--,the mother should read suitable articles in newspapers or good books1 keep her mind occupied4 ,if she cultivates a desire for intellectual improvement1 the same desire will be more or less manifested in the growth and development of the child4 #i4 ,,like ,,produces ,,like1 everywhere and always--in general forms and in particular features--in mental qualities and in bodily conditions--in tendencies of thought and in habits of action4 ,let this grand truth be deeply impressed upon the hearts of all who desire or expect to become parents4 #aj4 ,,heredity4--,male children generally inherit the peculiar traits and diseases of the mother and female children those of the father4 #aa4 ,,advice4--,therefore it is urged that during the period of utero-gestation1 especial pains should be taken to render the life of the female as harmonious as possible1 that her surroundings should all be of a nature calculated to inspire the mind with thoughts of physical and mental beauties and perfections1 and that she should be guarded against all influences1 of whatever character1 having a deteriorative tendency4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,the ,,beautiful ,,butterfly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,education ,,of ,,the ,,child ,,in ,,the ,,womb4 ,a lady once interviewed a prominent college president and asked him when the education of a child should begin4 ',twenty-five years before it is born1' was the prompt reply4 ,no better answer was ever given to that question ,every mother may well consider it4 #a4 ,,the ,,unborn ,,child ,,affected ,,by ,,the ,,thoughts ,,and ,,the ,,surroundings ,,of ,,the ,,mother4--,that the child is affected in the womb of the mother1 through the influences apparently connected with objects by which she is surrounded1 appears to have been well known in ancient days1 as well as at the present time4 #b4 ,,evidences4--,many evidences are found in ancient history1 especially among the refined nations1 showing that certain expedients were resorted to by which their females1 during the period of utero-gestation1 were surrounded by the superior refinements of the age1 with the hope of thus making upon them impressions which should have the effect of communicating certain desired qualities to the offspring4 ,for this reason apartments were adorned with statuary and paintings1 and special pains were taken not only to convey favorable impressions1 but also to guard against unfavorable ones being made1 upon the mind of the pregnant woman4 #c4 ,,hankering ,,after ,,gin4--,a certain mother while pregnant1 longed for gin1 which could not be gotten2 and her child cried incessantly for six weeks till gin was given it1 which it eagerly clutched and drank with ravenous greediness1 stopped crying1 and became healthy4 #d4 ,,begin ,,to ,,educate ,,children ,,at ,,conception1 and continue during their entire carriage4 ,yet maternal study1 of little account before the sixth1 after it1 is most promotive of talents2 which1 next to goodness are the father's joy and the mother's pride4 ,what pains are taken after they are born1 to render them prodigies of learning1 by the best of schools and teachers from their third year2 whereas their mother's study1 three months before their birth1 would improve their intellects infinitely more4 #e4 ,,mothers1 ,,does ,,god ,,thus ,,put the endowment of your darlings into your moulding power8 ,then tremble in view of its necessary responsibilities1 and learn how to wield them for their and your temporal and eternal happiness4 ,illustration #f4 ,,qualities ,,of ,,the ,,mind4--,the ,qualities of the mind are perhaps as much liable to hereditary transmission as bodily configuration4 ,memory1 intelligence1 judgment1 imagination1 passions1 diseases1 and what is usually called genius1 are often very markedly traced in the offspring4--,i have known mental impressions forcibly impressed upon the offspring at the time of conception1 as concomitant of some peculiar eccentricity1 idiosyncrasy1 morbidness1 waywardness1 irritability1 or proclivity of either one or both parents4 #g4 ,,the ,,plastic ,,brain4--,the plastic brain of the foetus is prompt to receive all impressions4 ,it retains them1 and they become the characteristics of the child and the man4 ,low spirits1 violent passions1 irritability1 frivolity1 in the pregnant woman1 leave indelible marks on the unborn child4 #h4 ,,formation ,,of ,,character4--,i believe that pre-natal influences may do as much in the formation of character as all the education that can come after1 and that mothers may1 in a measure1 will1 what that influence shall be1 and that1 as knowledge on the subject increases1 it will be more and more under their control4 ,in that1 as in everything else1 things that would be possible with one mother would not be with another1 and measures that would be successful with one would produce opposite results from the other4 #i4 ,a ,,historical ,,illustration4--,a woman rode side by side with her soldier husband1 and witnessed the drilling of troops for battle4 ,the scene inspired her with a deep longing to see a battle and share in the excitements of the conquerors4 ,this was but a few months before her boy was born1 and his name was ,napoleon4 #aj4 ,a ,,musician4--,the following was reported by ,dr4 ,f4,w4 ,moffatt1 in the mother's own language1 ,when ,i was first pregnant1 ,i wished my offspring to be a musician1 so1 during the period of that pregnancy1 settled my whole mind on music1 and attended every musical entertainment ,i possibly could4 ,i had my husband1 who has a violin1 to play for me by the hour4 ,when the child was born1 it was a girl1 which grew and prospered1 and finally became an expert musician4 #aa4 ,,murderous ,,intent4--,the mother of a young man1 who was hung not long ago1 was heard to say3 ,i tried to get rid of him before he was born2 and1 oh1 how ,i wish now that ,i had succeeded6 ,she added that it was the only time she had attempted anything of the sort2 but1 because of home troubles1 she became desperate1 and resolved that her burdens should not be made any greater4 ,does it not seem probable that the murderous intent1 even though of short duration1 was communicated to the mind of the child1 and resulted in the crime for which he was hung8 #ab4 ,,the ,,assassin ,,of ,,garfield4--,guiteau's father was a man of integrity and conquerable intellectual ability4 ,his children were born in quick succession1 and the mother was obliged to work very hard4 ,before this child was born1 she resorted to every means1 though unsuccessful1 to produce abortion4 ,the world knows the result4 ,guiteau's whole life was full of contradictions4 ,there was little self-controlling power in him2 no common sense1 and not a vestige or remorse or shame4 ,in his wild imagination1 he believed himself capable of doing the greatest work and of filling the loftiest station in life4 ,who will dare question that this mother's effort to destroy him while in embryo was the main cause in bringing him to the level of the brutes8 #ac4 ,,caution4--,any attempt1 on the part of the mother1 to destroy her child before birth1 is liable1 if unsuccessful1 to produce murderous tendencies4 ,even harboring murderous thoughts1 whether toward her own child or not1 might be followed by similar results4 ,the great ,king of kings ,hath in the table of ,his law commanded ,that thou shall do no murder4 ,wilt thou1 then1 ,spurn at ,his edict1 and fulfill a man's8 ,take heed1 for ,he holds vengeance in ,his hand ,to hurl upon their heads that break his law4 --,,richard ,,iii41 ,act ,i4 ,illustration3 ,the ,embryo ,in ,sixty ,days4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,calculate ,,the ,,time ,,of ,,expected ,,labor4 #a4 ,the table on the opposite page has been very accurately compiled1 and will be very helpful to those who desire the exact time4 #b4 ,the duration of pregnancy is from #bgh to #bhj days1 or nearly forty weeks4 ,the count should be made from the beginning of the last menstruation1 and add eight days on account of the possibility of it occurring within that period4 ,the heavier the child the longer is the duration2 the younger the woman the longer time it often requires4 ,the duration is longer in married than in unmarried women2 the duration is liable to be longer if the child is a female4 #c4 ,,movement4--,the first movement is generally felt on the #aceth day after impregnation4 #d4 ,,growth ,,of ,,the ,,embryo4--,about the twentieth day the embryo resembles the appearance of an ant or lettuce seed2 the #cjth day the embryo is as large as a common horse fly2 the #djth day the form resembles that of a person2 in sixty days the limbs begin to form1 and in four months the embryo takes the name of foetus4 #e4 ,children born after seven or eight months can survive and develop to maturity4 ,illustration3 ,,duration ,,of ,,pregnancy4 ,,directions4--,find in the upper horizontal line the date on which the last menstruation ceased2 the figure beneath gives the date of expected confinement 7#bhj days74 ,jan4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,oct4 #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,jan4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca ,oct4 #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e #f #g ,nov4 ,feb4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,nov4 #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,feb4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh ,nov4 #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #a #b #c #d #e #f #g ,dec4 ,mar4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,dec4 #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj ,mar4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca ,dec4 #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e ,jan4 ,apr4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,jan4 #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj ,apr4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca ,jan4 #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e ,feb4 ,may #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,feb4 #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,may #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca ,feb4 #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e #f #g ,mar4 ,june #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,mar4 #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,june #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj ,mar4 #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e #f ,apr4 ,july #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,apr4 #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba ,july #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj ,apr4 #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e ,may ,aug4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,may #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,aug4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca ,may #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e #f #g ,june ,sep4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,june #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,sep4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj ,june #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e #f ,july ,oct4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,july #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,oct4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca ,july #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e #f #g ,aug4 ,nov4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,aug4 #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,nov4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj ,aug4 #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e #f ,sep4 ,dec4 #a #b #c #d #e #f #g #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae ,sep4 #h #i #aj #aa #ab #ac #ad #ae #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb ,dec4 #af #ag #ah #ai #bj #ba #bb #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca ,sep4 #bc #bd #be #bf #bg #bh #bi #cj #ca #a #b #c #d #e #f #g ,oct4 ,illustration3 ,if menstruation ceased ,oct4 #ca1 the confinement will take place ,july #ah4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,signs ,,and ,,symptoms ,,of ,,labor4 #a4 ,although the majority of patients1 a day or two before the labor comes on1 are more bright and cheerful1 some few are more anxious1 fanciful1 fidgety and reckless4 #b4 ,a few days1 sometimes a few hours1 before labor commences1 the child falls as it is called2 that is to say1 there is a subsidence--a dropping--of the womb lower down the abdomen4 ,this is the reason why she feels lighter and more comfortable1 and more inclined to take exercise1 and why she can breathe more freely4 #c4 ,the only inconvenience of the dropping of the womb is1 that the womb presses more on the bladder1 and sometimes causes an irritability of that organ1 inducing a frequent desire to make water4 ,the wearing the obstetric belt1 as so particularly enjoined in previous pages1 will greatly mitigate this inconvenience4 #d4 ,the subsidence--the dropping--of the womb may then be considered one of the earliest of the precursory symptoms of child-birth1 and as the herald of the coming event4 #e4 ,she has1 at this time1 an increased moisture of the vagina--the passage leading to the womb--and of the external parts4 ,she has1 at length1 slight pains1 and then she has a show1 as it is called2 which is the coming away of a mucous plug which1 during pregnancy1 had hermetically sealed up the mouth of the womb4 ,the show is generally tinged with a little blood4 ,when a show takes place1 she may rest assured that labor has actually commenced4 ,one of the early symptoms of labor is a frequent desire to relieve the bladder4 #f4 ,she ought not1 on any account1 unless it be ordered by the medical man1 to take any stimulant as a remedy for the shivering4 ,in case of shivering or chills1 a cup either of hot lea or of hot gruel will be the best remedy for the shivering2 and an extra blanket or two should be thrown over her1 and be well tucked around her1 in order to thoroughly exclude the air from the body4 ,the extra clothing1 as soon as she is warm and perspiring1 should be gradually removed1 as she ought not to be kept very hot1 or it will weaken her1 and will thus retard her labor4 #g4 ,she must not1 on any account1 force down--as her female friends or as a pottering old nurse may advise--to grinding pains2 if sue does1 it will rather retard than forward her labor4 #h4 ,during this stage1 she had better walk about or sit down1 and not confine herself to bed2 indeed1 there is no necessity for her1 unless she particularly desire it1 to remain in her chamber4 #i4 ,after an uncertain length of time1 the pains alter in character4 ,from being grinding they become bearing down1 and more regular and frequent1 and the skin becomes both hot and perspiring4 ,these may be considered the true labor-pains4 ,the patient ought to bear in mind then that true labor-pains are situated in the back1 and loins2 they come on at regular intervals1 rise gradually up to a certain pitch of intensity1 and abate as gradually2 it is a dull1 heavy1 deep sort of pain1 producing occasionally a low moan from the patient2 not sharp or twinging1 which would elicit a very different expression of suffering from her4 #aj4 ,labor--and truly it maybe called1 labor4 ,the fiat has gone forth that in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children4 ,young1 in his ,night ,thoughts1 beautifully expresses the common lot of women to suffer3 ',tis the common lot2 in this shape1 or in that1 has fate entailed ,the mother's throes on all of women born1 ,not more the children than sure heirs of pain4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,love ,,of ,,home4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,special ,,safeguards ,,in ,,confinement4 #a4 ,before the confinement takes place everything should be carefully arranged and prepared4 ,the physician should be spoken to and be given the time as near as can be calculated4 ,the arrangement of the bed1 bed clothing1 the dress for the mother and the expected babe should be arranged for convenient and immediate use4 #b4 ,a bottle of sweet oil1 or vaseline1 or some pure lard should be in readiness4 ,arrangements should be made for washing all soiled garments1 and nothing by way of soiled rags or clothing should be allowed to accumulate4 #c4 ,a rubber blanket1 or oil or waterproof cloth should be in readiness to place underneath the bottom sheet to be used during labor4 #d4 ,as soon as labor pains have begun a fire should be built and hot water kept ready for immediate use4 ,the room should be kept well ventilated and comfortably warm4 #e4 ,no people should be allowed in or about the room except the nurse1 the physician1 and probably members of the family when called upon to perform some duty4 #f4 ,during labor no solid food should be taken2 a little milk1 broth or soup may be given1 provided there is an appetite4 ,malt or spirituous liquors should be carefully avoided4 ,a little wine1 however1 may be taken in case of great exhaustion4 ,lemonade1 toast1 rice water1 and tea may be given when desired4 ,warm tea is considered an excellent drink for the patient at this time4 #g4 ,when the pains become regular and intermit1 it is time that the physician is sent for4 ,on the physician's arrival he will always take charge of the case and give necessary instructions4 #h4 ,in nearly all cases the head of the child is presented first4 ,the first pains are generally grinding and irregular1 and felt mostly in the groins and within1 but as labor progresses the pains are felt in the abdomen1 and as the head advances there is severe pain in the back and hips and a disposition to bear down1 but no pressure should be placed upon the abdomen of the patient2 it is often the cause of serious accidents4 ,nature will take care of itself4 #i4 ,conversation should be of a cheerful character1 and all allusions to accidents of other child births should be carefully avoided4 #aj4 ,,absence ,,of ,,physician4--,in case the child should be born in the absence of the physician1 when the head is born receive it in the hand and support it until the shoulders have been expelled1 and steady the whole body until the child is born4 ,support the child with both hands and lay it as far from the mother as possible without stretching the cord4 ,remove the mucus from the nostrils and mouth1 wrap the babe in warm flannel1 make the mother comfortable1 give her a drink1 and allow the child to remain until the pulsations in the cord have entirely ceased4 ,after the pulsations have entirely ceased then sever the cord4 ,use a dull pair of scissors1 cutting it about two inches from the child's navel1 and generally no time is necessary1 and when the physician comes he will give it prompt attention4 #aa4 ,if the child does not breathe at its arrival1 says ,dr4 ,stockham in her celebrated ,tokology1 a little slapping on the breast and body will often produce respiration1 and if this is not efficient1 dash cold water on the face and chest2 if this fails then close the nostrils with two fingers1 breathe into the mouth and then expel the air from the lungs by gentle pressure upon the chest4 ,continue this as long as any hope of life remains4 #ab4 ,,after-,,birth4--,usually contractions occur and the after-birth is readily expelled2 if not1 clothes wrung out in hot water laid upon the bowels will often cause the contraction of the uterus1 and the expulsion of the after-birth4 #ac4 ,if the cord bleeds severely inject cold water into it4 ,this in many cases removes the after-birth4 #ad4 ,after the birth of the child give the patient a bath1 if the patient is not too exhausted1 change the soiled quilts and clothing1 fix up everything neat and clean and let the patient rest4 #ae ,let the patient drink weak tea1 gruel1 cold or hot water1 whichever she chooses4 #af4 ,after the birth of the baby1 the mother should be kept perfectly quiet for the first #bd hours and not allowed to talk or see anyone except her nearest relations1 however well she may seem4 ,she should not get out of bed for ten days or two weeks1 nor sit up in bed for nine days4 ,the more care taken of her at this time1 the more rapid will be her recovery when she does get about4 ,she should go up and down stairs slowly1 carefully1 and as seldom as possible for six weeks4 ,she should not stand more than is unavoidable during that time1 but sit with her feet up and lie down when she has time to rest4 ,she should not work a sewing machine with a treadle for at least six weeks1 and avoid any unusual strain or over-exertion4 ,an ounce of prevention ,,is worth a pound of cure1 and carefulness will be well repaid by a perfect restoration to health4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,my ,,priceless ,,jewel4 ,what will be his fate in life8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,where ,,did ,,the ,,baby ,,come ,,from8 ,where did you come from1 baby dear8 ,out of the everywhere into here4 ,where did you get the eyes so blue8 ,out of the sky1 as ,i came through4 ,where did you get that little tear8 ,i found it waiting when ,i got here4 ,what makes your forehead so smooth and high8 ,a soft hand stroked it as ,i went by4 ,what makes your cheek like a warm1 white rose8 ,i saw something better than anyone knows4 ,whence that three-cornered smile of bliss8 ,three angels gave me at once a kiss4 ,where did you get this pretty ear8 ,god spoke1 and it came out to hear4 ,where did you get those arms and hands8 ,love made itself into hooks and bands4 ,feet whence did you come1 you darling things8 ,from the same box as the cherub's wings4 ,how did they all come just to be you8 ,god thought of me1 and so ,i grew4 ,but how did you come to us1 you dear8 ,god thought about you1 and so ,i am here4 --,,george ,,macdonald4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,child ,,bearing ,,without ,,pain4 ,,how ,,to ,,dress1 ,,diet ,,and ,,exercise ,,in ,,pregnancy4 #a4 ,,ailments4--,those ailments to which pregnant women are liable are mostly inconveniences rather than diseases1 although they may be aggravated to a degree of danger4 ,no patent nostrums or prescriptions are necessary4 ,if there is any serious difficulty the family physician should be consulted4 #b4 ,,comfort4--,wealth and luxuries are not a necessity4 ,comfort will make the surroundings pleasant4 ,drudgery1 overwork and exposure are the three things that tend to make women miserable while in the state of pregnancy1 and invariably produce irritable1 fretful and feeble children4 ,dr4 ,stockham says in her admirable work ,tokology3 ,the woman who indulges in the excessive gayety of fashionable life1 as well as the overworked woman1 deprives her child of vitality4 ,she attends parties in a dress that is unphysiological in warmth1 distribution and adjustment1 in rooms badly ventilated2 partakes of a supper of indigestible compounds1 and remains into the 'wee1 sma' hours1' her nervous system taxed to the utmost4 #c4 ,,exercise4--,a goodly amount of moderate exercise is a necessity1 and a large amount of work may be accomplished if prudence is properly exercised4 ,it is overwork1 and the want of sufficient rest and sleep that produces serious results4 #d4 ,,dresses4--,a pregnant woman should make her dresses of light material and avoid surplus trimmings4 ,do not wear anything that produces any unnecessary weight4 ,let the clothing be light but sufficient in quantity to produce comfort in all kinds of weather4 #e4 ,,garments4--,it is well understood that the mother must breathe for two1 and in order to dress healthily the garments should be worn loose1 so as to give plenty of room for respiration4 ,tight clothes only cause disease1 or produce frailty or malformation in the offspring4 #f4 ,,shoes4--,wear a large shoe in pregnancy2 the feet may swell and untold discomfort may be the result4 ,get a good large shoe with a large sole4 ,give the feet plenty of room4 ,many women suffer from defects in vision1 indigestion1 backache1 loss of voice1 headache1 etc41 simply as the result of the reflex action of the pressure of tight shoes4 #g4 ,,lacing4--,many women lace themselves to the first period of their gestation in order to meet their society engagements4 ,all of this is vitally wrong and does great injury to the unborn child as well as to inflict many ills and pains upon the mother4 #h4 ,,corsets4--,corsets should be carefully avoided1 for the corset more than any other one thing is responsible for making woman the victim of more woes and diseases than all other causes put together4 ,about one-half the children born in this country die before they are five years of age1 and no doubt this terrible mortality is largely due to this instrument of torture known as the modern corset4 ,tight lacing is the cause of infantile mortality4 ,it slowly but surely takes the lives of tens of thousands1 and so effectually weakens and diseases1 so as to cause the untimely death of millions more4 #i4 ,,bathing4--,next to godliness is cleanliness4 ,a pregnant woman should take a sponge or towel-bath two or three times a week4 ,it stimulates and invigorates the entire body4 ,no more than two or three minutes are required4 ,it should be done in a warm room1 and the body rubbed thoroughly after each bathing4 #aj4 ,,the ,,hot ,,sitz-,,bath4--,this bath is one of the most desirable and healthful baths for pregnant women4 ,it will relieve pain or acute inflammation1 and will be a general tonic in keeping the system in a good condition4 ,this may be taken in the middle of the forenoon or just before retiring1 and if taken just before retiring will produce invigorating sleep1 will quiet the nerves1 cure headache1 weariness1 etc4 ,it is a good plan to take this bath every night before retiring in case of any disorders4 ,a woman who keeps this tip during the period of gestation will have a very easy labor and a strong1 vigorous babe4 #aa4 ,,hot ,,fomentations4--,applying flannel cloths wrung out of simple or medicated hot water is a great relief for acute suffering1 such as neuralgia1 rheumatic pain1 biliousness1 constipation1 torpid liver1 colic1 flatulency1 etc4 #ab4 ,,the ,,hot ,,water-,,bag4--,the hot water-bag serves the same purpose as hot fomentations1 and is much more convenient4 ,no one should go through the period of gestation without a hot water-bag4 #ac4 ,,the ,,cold ,,compress4--,this is a very desirable and effectual domestic remedy4 ,take a towel wrung from cold water and apply it to the affected parts2 then cover well with several thicknesses of flannel4 ,this is excellent in cases of sore throat1 hoarseness1 bronchitis1 inflammation of the lungs1 croup1 etc4 ,it is also excellent for indigestion1 constipation or distress of the bowels accompanied by heat4 #ad4 ,,diet4--,the pregnant woman should eat nutritious1 but not stimulating or heating food1 and eat at the regular time4 ,avoid drinking much while eating4 #ae4 ,,avoid salt1 pepper and sweets as much as possible4 #af4 ,,eat all kinds of grains1 vegetables and fruits1 and avoid salted meat1 but eat chicken1 steak1 fish1 oysters1 etc4 #ag4 ,,the ,,woman ,,who ,,eats ,,indiscriminately anything and everything the same as any other person1 will have a very painful labor and suffer many ills that could easily be avoided by more attention being paid to the diet4 ,with a little study and observation a woman will soon learn what to eat and what to avoid4 ,illustration3 ,nature ,versus ,corsets ,illustrated ,a4 ,the ribs of large curve2 the lungs large and roomy2 the liver1 stomach and bowels in their normal position2 all with abundant room4 ,b4 ,the ribs bent almost to angles2 the lungs contracted2 the liver1 stomach and intestines forced down into the pelvis1 crowding the womb seriously4 #ah4 ,the above cuts are given on page #aac2 we repeat them here for the benefit of expectant mothers who may be ignorant of the evil effects of the corset4 ,displacement of the womb1 interior irritation and inflammation1 miscarriage and sterility1 are some of the many injuries of tight lacing4 ,there are many others1 in fact their name is legion1 and every woman who has habitually worn a corset and continues to wear it during the early period of gestation must suffer severely during childbirth4 ,illustration3 ,the ,house ,we ,live ,in for nine months3 showing the ample room provided by ,nature when uncontracted by inherited inferiority of form or artificial dressing4 ,illustration3 ,a ,contracted ,pelvis4 ,deformity and ,insufficient ,space4 #ai4 ,,this ,,is ,,what ,,dr4 ,,stockham says3 ,if women had common sense1 instead of fashion sense1 the corset would not exist4 ,there are not words in the ,english language to express my convictions upon this subject4 ,the corset more than any other one thing is responsible for woman's being the victim of disease and doctors4444 ,what is the effect upon the child8 ,one-half of the children born in this country die before they are five years of age4 ,who can tell how much this state of things is due to the enervation of maternal life forces by the one instrument of torture8 ,i am a temperance woman4 ,no one can realize more than ,i the devastation and ruin alcohol in its many tempting forms has brought to the human family4 ,still ,i solemnly believe that in weakness and deterioration of health1 the corset has more to answer for than intoxicating drinks4 ,when asked how far advanced a woman should be in pregnancy before she laid aside her corset1 ,dr4 ,stockham said with emphasis3 ,the corset should not be worn for two hundred years before pregnancy takes place4 ,ladies1 it will take that time at least to overcome the ill-effect of tight garments which you think so essential4 #bj4 ,,painless ,,pregnancy ,,and ,,child-,,birth4--,some excellent popular volumes1 says ,dr4 ,haff1 have been largely devoted to directions how to secure a comfortable period of pregnancy and painless delivery4 ,after much conning of these worthy efforts to impress a little common sense upon the sisterhood1 we are convinced that all may be summed up under the simple heads of3 7#a7 ,an unconfined and lightly burdened waist2 7#b7 ,moderate but persistent outdoor exercise1 of which walking is the best form2 7#c7 ,a plain unstimulating1 chiefly fruit and vegetable diet2 7#d7 ,little or no intercourse during the time4 ,these are hygienic rules of benefit under any ordinary conditions2 yet they are violated by almost every pregnant lady4 ,if they are followed1 biliousness1 indigestion1 constipation1 swollen limbs1 morning sickness and nausea--all will absent themselves or be much lessened4 ,in pregnancy more than at any other time1 corsets are injurious4 ,the waist and abdomen must be allowed to expand freely with the growth of the child4 ,the great process of evolution must have room4 #ba4 ,,in ,,addition1 we can do no better than quote the following recapitulation by ,dr4 ,stockham in her famous ,tokology3 ,to give a woman the greatest immunity from suffering during pregnancy1 prepare her for a safe and comparatively easy delivery1 and insure a speedy recovery1 all hygienic conditions must be observed4 ,the dress must give3 #a4 ,freedom of movement2 #b4 ,no pressure upon any part of the body2 #c4 ,no more weight than is essential for warmth1 and both weight and warmth evenly distributed4 ,these requirements necessitate looseness1 lightness and warmth1 which can be obtained from the union underclothes1 a princess skirt and dress1 with a shoe that allows full development and use of the foot4 ,while decoration and elegance are desirable1 they should not sacrifice comfort and convenience4 #bb4 ,,let ,,the ,,diet ,,be ,,light1 plain and nutritious4 ,avoid fats and sweets1 relying mainly upon fruits and grain that contain little of the mineral salts4 ,by this diet bilious and inflammatory conditions are overcome1 the development of bone in the foetus lessened1 and muscles necessary in labor nourished and strengthened4 #bc4 ,,exercise should be sufficient and of such a character as will bring into action gently every muscle of the body2 but must particularly develop the muscles of the trunk1 abdomen and groin1 that are specially called into action in labor4 ,exercise1 taken faithfully and systematically1 more than any other means assists assimilative processes and stimulates the organs of excretion to healthy action4 #bd4 ,,bathing ,,must ,,be ,,frequent and regular4 ,unless in special conditions the best results are obtained from tepid or cold bathing1 which invigorates the system and overcomes nervousness4 ,the sitz-bath is the best therapeutic and hygienic measure within the reach of the pregnant woman4 ,therefore1 to establish conditions which will overcome many previous infractions of law1 dress naturally and physiologically2 live much of the time out of doors2 have abundance of fresh air in the house2 let exercise be sufficient and systematic2 pursue a diet of fruit1 rice and vegetables2 regular rest must be faithfully taken2 abstain from the sexual relation4 ,to those who will commit themselves to this course of life1 patiently and persistently carrying it out through the period of gestation1 the possibilities of attaining a healthy1 natural1 painless parturition will be remarkably increased4 #be4 ,,if ,,the ,,first ,,experiment should not result in a painless labor1 it without doubt will prove the beginning of sound health4 ,persisted in through years of married life1 the ultimate result will be more and more closely approximated1 while there will be less danger of diseases after childbirth and better and more vigorous children will be produced4 ,then pregnancy by every true woman will be desired1 and instead of being a period of disease1 suffering and direful forebodings1 will become a period of health1 exalted pleasure and holiest anticipations4 ,motherhood will be deemed the choicest of earth's blessings2 women will rejoice in a glad maternity and for any self-denial will be compensated by healthy1 happy1 buoyant1 grateful children4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,swat ,,the ,,flies ,,and ,,save ,,the ,,babies4 ,,life ,,cycle ,,of ,a ,,fly ,,egg ,,stage #a ,,day ,,maggot ,,stage #e ,,days ,,pupa ,,stage #e ,,days #ad ,,days ,,later ,,it ,,begins ,,to ,,lay ,,eggs ,illustration3 ,,joan ,,of ,,arc4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,solemn ,,lessons ,,for ,,parents4 #a4 ,,excessive ,,pleasures ,,and ,,pains4--,a woman during her time of pregnancy should of all women be most carefully tended1 and kept from violent and excessive pleasures and pains2 and at that time she should cultivate gentleness1 benevolence and kindness4 #b4 ,,hereditary ,,effects4--,those who are born to become insane do not necessarily spring from insane parents1 or from any ancestry having any apparent taint of lunacy in their blood1 but they do receive from their progenitors certain impressions upon their mental and moral1 as well as their physical beings1 which impressions1 like an iron mould1 fix and shape their subsequent destinies4 ,hysteria in the mother may develop insanity in the child1 while drunkenness in the father may impel epilepsy1 or mania1 in the son4 ,ungoverned passions in the parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness in the minds of their children1 and the bad treatment of the wife may produce sickly or weak-minded children4 #c4 ,the influence of predominant passion may be transmitted from the parent to the child1 just as surely a similarity of looks4 ,it has been truly said that the faculties which predominate in power and activity in the parents1 when the organic existence of the child commences1 determine its future mental disposition4 ,a bad mental condition of the mother may produce serious defects upon her unborn child4 #d4 ,the singular effects produced on the unborn child by the sudden mental emotions of the mother are remarkable examples of a kind of electrotyping on the sensitive surfaces of living forms4 ,it is doubtless true that the mind's action in such cases may increase or diminish the molecular deposits in the several portions of the system4 ,the precise place which each separate particle assumes in the new organic structure may be determined by the influence of thought or feeling4 ,perfect love and perfect harmony should exist between wife and husband during this vital period4 #e4 ,,an ,,illustration4--,if a sudden and powerful emotion of a woman's mind exerts such an influence upon her stomach as to excite vomiting1 and upon her heart as almost to arrest its motion and induce fainting1 can we believe that it will have no effect upon her womb and the fragile being contained within it8 ,facts and reason then1 alike demonstrate the reality of the influence1 and much practical advantage would result to both parent and child1 were the conditions and extent of its operations better understood4 #f4 ,pregnant women should not be exposed to causes likely to distress or otherwise strongly impress their minds4 ,a consistent life with worthy objects constantly kept in mind should be the aim and purpose of every expectant mother4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ten ,,health ,,rules ,,for ,,babies ,,cut ,,death ,,rate ,,in ,,two4 ,ninety-four babies out of every thousand born in ,new ,york died last year4 ,only thirty-eight babies died in ,montclair1 ,n4,j41 out of every thousand born during the same period4 ,much credit for this low rate of infant mortality in the latter city is given the ,montclair ,day ,nursery which prescribes the following decade of baby health rules3 #a4 ,give a baby pure milk and watch its feeding very closely4 #b4 ,keep everything connected with a baby absolutely clean4 ,cleanliness in the house accounts for a baby's health4 ,untidy babies are usually sick babies4 #c4 ,never let a baby get chilled4 ,keep its hands and feet warm4 #d4 ,regulate a baby's day by the clock4 ,everything about its wants should be attended to on schedule time4 #e4 ,diminish a baby's food the minute signs of illness appear4 ,most babies are overfed anyway4 #f4 ,weigh a baby every week until it is a year old4 ,its weight is an index of its health4 #g4 ,every mother should get daily out-door exercise4 ,it means better health for her babies4 #h4 ,every baby should be mothered more and mauled less4 ,babies thrive on cuddling but they can get along on a lot less kissing4 #i4 ,don't amuse or play with your baby too much4 ,its regular daily routine is all the stimulation its little brain needs at first4 #aj4 ,don't let too many different people take care of the baby4 ,even members of the same family make a baby nervous if they fuss around him too much4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,man ,,with ,,scales ,,and ,,infant4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,care ,,of ,,new-,,born ,,infants4 #a4 ,the first thing to be done ordinarily is to give the little stranger a bath by using soap and warm water4 ,to remove the white material that usually covers the child use olive oil1 goose oil or lard1 and apply it with a soft piece of worn flannel1 and when the child is entirely clean rub all off with a fresh piece of flannel4 #b4 ,many physicians in the ,united ,states recommend a thorough oiling of the child with pure lard or olive oil1 and then rub dry as above stated4 ,by these means water is avoided1 and with it much risk of taking cold4 #c4 ,the application of brandy or liquor is entirely unnecessary1 and generally does more injury than good4 #d4 ,if an infant should breathe feebly1 or exhibit other signs of great feebleness1 it should not be washed at once1 but allowed to remain quiet and undisturbed1 warmly wrapped up until the vital actions have acquired a fair degree of activity4 #e4 ,,dressing ,,the ,,navel4--,there is nothing better for dressing the navel than absorbent antiseptic cotton4 ,there needs be no grease or oil upon the cotton4 ,after the separation of the cord the navel should be dressed with a little cosmoline1 still using the absorbent cotton4 ,the navel string usually separates in a week's time2 it may be delayed for twice this length of time1 this will make no material difference1 and the rule is to allow it to drop off of its own accord4 #f4 ,,the ,,clothing ,,of ,,the ,,infant4--,the clothing of the infant should be light1 soft and perfectly loose4 ,a soft flannel band is necessary only until the navel is healed4 ,afterwards discard bands entirely if you wish your babe to be happy and well4 ,make the dresses ,mother ,hubbard ,put on first a soft woolen shirt1 then prepare the flannel skirts to hang from the neck like a slip4 ,make one kind with sleeves and one just like it without sleeves1 then white muslin skirts 7if they are desired71 all the same way4 ,then baby is ready for any weather4 ,in intense heat simply put on the one flannel slip with sleeves1 leaving off the shirt4 ,in ,spring and ,fall the shirt and skirt with no sleeves4 ,in ,cold weather shirt and both skirts4 ,these garments can be all put on at once1 thus making the process of dressing very quick and easy4 ,these are the most approved modern styles for dressing infants1 and with long cashmere stockings pinned to the diapers the little feet are free to kick with no old-fashioned pinning blanket to torture the naturally active1 healthy child1 and retard its development4 ,if tight bands are an injury to grown people1 then in the name of pity emancipate the poor little infant from their torture6 #g4 ,,the ,,diaper4--,diapers should be of soft linen1 and great care should be exercised not to pin them too tightly4 ,never dry them1 but always wash them thoroughly before being used again4 #h4 ,the band need not be worn after the navel has healed so that it requires no dressing1 as it serves no purpose save to keep in place the dressing of the navel4 ,the child's body should be kept thoroughly warm around the chest1 bowels and feet4 ,give the heart and lungs plenty of room to heave4 #i4 ,the proper time for shortening the clothes is about three months in ,summer and six months in ,winter4 #aj4 ,,infant ,,bathing4--,the first week of a child's life it should not be entirely stripped and washed4 ,it is too exhausting4 ,after a child is over a week old it should be bathed every day2 after a child is three weeks old it may be put in the water and supported with one hand while it is being washed with the other4 ,never1 however1 allow it to remain too long in the water4 ,from ten to twenty minutes is the limit4 ,use ,pears' soap or castile soap1 and with a sponge wipe quickly1 or use a soft towel4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,nursing4 #a4 ,the new-born infant requires only the mother's milk4 ,the true mother will nurse her child if it is a possibility4 ,the infant will thrive better and have many more chances for life4 #b4 ,the mother's milk is the natural food1 and nothing can fully take its place4 ,it needs no feeding for the first few days as it was commonly deemed necessary a few years ago4 ,the secretions in the mother's breast are sufficient4 #c4 ,artificial ,food4 ,tokology says3 ,the best artificial food is cream reduced and sweetened with sugar of mill4 ,analysis shows that human milk contains more cream and sugar and less casein than the milk of animals4 #d4 ,milk should form the basis of all preparations of food4 ,if the milk is too strong1 indigestion will follow1 and the child will lose instead of gaining strength4 ,,weaning4--,the weaning of the child depends much upon the strength and condition of the mother4 ,if it does not occur in hot weather1 from nine to twelve months is as long as any child should be nursed4 ,,food ,,in ,,weaning4--,infants cry a great deal during weaning1 but a few days of patient perseverance will overcome all difficulties4 ,give the child purely a milk diet1 ,graham bread1 milk crackers and milk1 or a little milk thickened with boiled rice1 a little jelly1 apple sauce1 etc41 may be safely used4 ,cracked wheat1 oatmeal1 wheat germ1 or anything of that kind thoroughly cooked and served with a little cream and sugar1 is an excellent food4 ,,milk ,,drawn ,,from ,,the ,,breasts4--,if the mother suffers considerably from the milk gathering in the breast after weaning the child1 withdraw it by taking a bottle that holds about a pint or a quart1 putting a piece of cloth wrung out in warm water around the bottle1 then fill it with boiling water1 pour the water out and apply the bottle to the breast1 and the bottle cooling will form a vacuum and will withdraw the milk into the bottle4 ,this is one of the best methods now in use4 ,,return ,,of ,,the ,,menses4--,if the menses return while the mother is nursing1 the child should at once be weaned1 for the mother's milk no longer contains sufficient nourishment4 ,in case the mother should become pregnant while the child is nursing it should at once be weaned1 or serious results will follow to the health of the child4 ,a mother's milk is no longer sufficiently rich to nourish the child or keep it in good health4 ,,care ,,of ,,the ,,bottle4--,if the child is fed on the bottle great care should be taken in keeping it absolutely clean4 ,never use white rubber nipples4 ,a plain form of bottle with a black rubber nipple is preferable4 ,,children should not be permitted to come to the table until two years of age4 ,,chafing4--,one of the best remedies is powdered lycopodium2 apply it every time the babe is cleaned2 but first wash with pure castile soap2 ,pears' soap is also good4 ,a preparation of oxide of zinc is also highly recommended4 ,chafing sometimes results from an acid condition of the stomach2 in that case give a few doses of castoria4 ,,colic4--,if an infant is seriously troubled with colic1 there is nothing better than camomile or catnip tea4 ,procure the leaves and make tea and give it as warm as the babe can bear4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,feeding ,,infants4 #a4 ,the best food for infants is mother's milk2 next best is cow's milk4 ,cow's milk contains about three times as much curd and one-half as much sugar1 and it should be reduced with two parts of water4 #b4 ,in feeding cow's milk there is too little cream and too little sugar1 and there is no doubt no better preparation than ,mellin's food to mix it with 7according to directions74 #c4 ,children being fed on food lacking fat generally have their teeth come late2 their muscles will be flabby and bones soft4 ,children will be too fat when their food contains too much sugar4 ,sugar always makes their flesh soft and flabby4 #d4 ,during the first two months the baby should be fed every two hours during the day1 and two or three times during the night1 but no more4 ,ten or eleven feedings for twenty-four hours are all a child will bear and remain healthy4 ,at three months the child may be fed every three hours instead of every two4 #e4 ,children can be taught regular habits by being fed and put to sleep at the same time every day and evening4 ,nervous diseases are caused by irregular hours of sleep and diet1 and the use of soothing medicines4 #f4 ,a child five or six months old should not be fed during the night from nine in the evening until six or seven in the morning1 as overfeeding causes most of the wakefulness and nervousness of children during the night4 #g4 ,if a child vomits soon after taking the bottle1 and there is an appearance of undigested food in the stool1 it is a sign of overfeeding4 ,if a large part of the bottle has been vomited1 avoid the next bottle at regular time and pass over one bottle4 ,if the child is nursing the same principles apply4 #h4 ,if a child empties its bottle and sucks vigorously its fingers after the bottle is emptied1 it is very evident that the child is not fed enough1 and should have its food gradually increased4 #i4 ,give the baby a little cold water several times a day4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,infantile ,,convulsions4 ,,definition4--,an infantile convulsion corresponds to a chill in an adult1 and is the most common brain affection among children4 ,,causes4--,anything that irritates the nervous system may cause convulsions in the child1 as teething1 indigestible food1 worms1 dropsy of the brain1 hereditary constitution1 or they may be the accompanying symptom in nearly all the acute diseases of children1 or when the eruption is suppressed in eruptive diseases4 ,,symptoms4--,in case of convulsions of a child parents usually become frightened1 and very rarely do the things that should be done in order to afford relief4 ,the child1 previous to the fit1 is usually irritable1 and the twitching of the muscles of the face may be noticed1 or it may come on suddenly without warning4 ,the child becomes insensible1 clenches its hands tightly1 lips turn blue1 and the eyes become fixed1 usually frothing from the mouth with head turned back4 ,the convulsion generally lasts two or three minutes2 sometimes1 however1 as long as ten or fifteen minutes1 but rarely4 ,,remedy4--,give the child a warm bath and rub gently4 ,clothes wrung out of cold water and applied to the lower and back part of the head and plenty of fresh air will usually relieve the convulsion4 ,be sure and loosen the clothing around the child's neck4 ,after the convulsion is over1 give the child a few doses of potassic bromide1 and an injection of castor oil if the abdomen is swollen4 ,potassic bromide should be kept in the house1 to use in case of necessity4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,poor ,,children ,,from ,,tenement4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,pains ,,and ,,ills ,,in ,,nursing4 #a4 ,,sore ,,nipples4--,if a lady1 during the latter few months of her pregnancy1 where to adopt means to harden the nipples1 sore nipples during the period of suckling would not be so prevalent as they are4 #b4 ,,cause4--,a sore nipple is frequently produced by the injudicious custom of allowing the child to have the nipple almost constantly in his mouth4 ,another frequent cause of a sore nipple is from the babe having the canker4 ,another cause of a sore nipple is from the mother1 after the babe has been sucking1 putting up the nipple wet4 ,she1 therefore1 ought always to dry the nipple1 not by rubbing1 but by dabbing it with a soft cambric or lawn handkerchief1 or with a piece of soft linen rag one or the other of which ought always to be at hand every time directly after the child has done sucking1 and just before applying any of the following powders or lotions to the nipple4 #c4 ,,remedies4--,one of the best remedies for a sore nipple is the following powder3 ,take of ,borax1 one drachm2 ,powdered ,starch1 seven drachms4 ,mix4 ,a pinch of the powder to be frequently applied to the nipple4 ,if the above does not cure1 try ,glycerine by applying it each time after nursing4 #d4 ,,gathered ,,breast4--,a healthy woman with a well-developed breast and a good nipple1 scarcely1 if ever1 has a gathered bosom2 it is the delicate1 the ill-developed breasted and worse-developed nippled lady who usually suffers from this painful complaint4 ,and why8 ,the evil can generally be traced to girlhood4 ,if she be brought up luxuriously1 her health and her breasts are sure to be weakened1 and thus to suffer1 more especially if the development of the bosoms and nipples has been arrested and interfered with by tight stays and corsets4 ,why1 the nipple is by them drawn in1 and retained on the level with the breast countersunk as though it were of no consequence to her future well-being1 as though it were a thing of nought4 #e4 ,,tight ,,lacers4--,tight lacers will have to pay the penalties of which they little dream4 ,oh1 the monstrous folly of such proceedings6 ,when will mothers awake from their lethargy8 ,it is high time that they did so6 ,from the mother having no nipple1 the effects of tight lacing1 many a home has been made childless1 the babe not being able to procure its proper nourishment1 and dying in consequence6 ,it is a frightful state of things6 ,but fashion1 unfortunately1 blinds the eyes and deafens the ears of its votaries6 #f4 ,,bad ,,breast4--,a gathered bosom1 or bad breast1 as it is sometimes called1 is more likely to occur after a first confinement and during the first month4 ,great care1 therefore1 ought to be taken to avoid such a misfortune4 ,a gathered breast is frequently owing to the carelessness of a mother in not covering her bosoms during the time she is suckling4 ,too much attention cannot be paid to keeping the breasts comfortably warm4 ,this1 during the act of nursing1 should be done by throwing either a shawl or a square of flannel over the neck1 shoulders1 and bosoms4 #g4 ,,another ,,cause4--,another cause of gathered breasts arises from a mother sitting up in bed to suckle her babe4 ,he ought to be accustomed to take the bosom while she is lying down2 if this habit is not at first instituted1 it will be difficult to adopt it afterwards4 ,good habits may be taught a child from earliest babyhood4 #h4 ,,faintness4--,when a nursing mother feels faint1 she ought immediately to lie down and take a little nourishment2 a cup of tea with the yolk of an egg beaten up in it1 or a cup of warm milk1 or some beef-tea1 any of which will answer the purpose extremely well4 ,brandy1 or any other spirit we would not recommend1 as it would only cause1 as soon as the immediate effects of the stimulant had gone off1 a greater depression to ensue2 not only so1 but the frequent taking of brandy might become a habit a necessity which would be a calamity deeply to be deplored6 #i4 ,,strong ,,purgatives4--,strong purgatives during this period are highly improper1 as they are apt to give pain to the infant1 as well as to injure the mother4 ,if it be absolutely necessary to give physic1 the mildest1 such as a dose of castor oil1 should be chosen4 #aj4 ,,habitually ,,costive4--,when a lady who is nursing is habitually costive1 she ought to eat brown instead of white bread4 ,this will1 in the majority of cases1 enable her to do without an aperient4 ,the brown bread may be made with flour finely ground all one way2 or by mixing one part of bran and three parts of fine wheaten flour together1 and then making it in the usual way into bread4 ,treacle instead of butter1 on the brown bread increases its efficacy as an aperient2 and raw should be substituted for lump sugar in her tea4 #aa4 ,,to ,,prevent ,,constipation4--,stewed prunes1 or stewed ,french plums1 or stewed ,normandy pippins1 are excellent remedies to prevent constipation4 ,the patient ought to eat1 every morning1 a dozen or fifteen of them4 ,the best way to stew either prunes or ,french plums1 is the following3 ,put a pound of either prunes or ,french plums1 and two tablespoonfuls of raw sugar1 into a brown jar2 cover them with water2 put them into a slow oven1 and stew them for three or four hours4 ,both stewed rhubarb and stewed pears often act as mild and gentle aperients4 ,muscatel raisins1 eaten at dessert1 will oftentimes without medicine relieve the bowels4 #ab4 ,,cold ,,water--,a tumblerful of cold water1 taken early every morning1 sometimes effectually relieves the bowels2 indeed1 few people know the value of cold water as an aperient it is one of the best we possess1 and1 unlike drug aperients1 can never by any possibility do any harm4 ,an injection of warm water is one of the best ways to relieve the bowels4 #ac4 ,,well-,,cooked ,,vegetables4--,although a nursing mother ought1 more especially if she be costive1 to take a variety of well-cooked vegetables1 such as potatoes1 asparagus1 cauliflower1 ,french beans1 spinach1 stewed celery and turnips2 she should avoid eating greens1 cabbages1 and pickles1 as they would be likely to affect the babe1 and might cause him to suffer from gripings1 from pain1 and looseness of the bowels4 #ad4 ,,supersede ,,the ,,necessity ,,of ,,taking ,,physic4--,let me again--for it cannot be too urgently insisted upon--strongly advise a nursing mother to use every means in the way of diet1 etc41 to supersede the necessity of taking physic 7opening medicine71 as the repetition of aperients injures1 and that severely1 both herself and child4 ,moreover1 the more opening medicine she swallows1 the more she requires2 so that if she once gets into the habit of regularly taking physic1 the bowels will not act without them4 ,what a miserable existence to be always swallowing physic6 ,illustration3 ,,healthy ,,youth ,,and ,,ripe ,,old ,,age4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,home ,,lessons ,,in ,,nursing ,,sick ,,children4 #a4 ,,mismanagement4--,every doctor knows that a large share of the ills to which infancy is subject are directly traceable to mismanagement4 ,troubles of the digestive system are1 for the most part due to errors1 either in the selection of the food or in the preparation of it4 #b4 ,,respiratory ,,diseases4--,respiratory diseases or the diseases of the throat and lungs have their origin1 as a rule1 in want of care and judgment in matters of clothing1 bathing and exposure to cold and drafts4 ,a child should always be dressed to suit the existing temperature of the weather4 #c4 ,,nervous ,,diseases4--,nervous diseases are often aggravated if not caused by over-stimulation of the brain1 by irregular hours of sleep1 or by the use of soothing medicines1 or eating indigestible food4 #d4 ,,skin ,,affections4--,skin affections are generally due to want of proper care of the skin1 to improper clothing or feeding1 or to indiscriminate association with nurses and ,children1 who are the carriers of contagious diseases4 #e4 ,,permanent ,,injury4--,permanent injury is often caused by lifting the child by one hand1 allowing it to fall1 permitting it to play with sharp instruments1 etc4 #f4 ,,rules ,,and ,,principles4--,every mother should understand the rules and principles of home nursing4 ,children are very tender plants and the want of proper knowledge is often very disastrous if not fatal4 ,study carefully and follow the principles and rules which are laid down in the different parts of this work on nursing and cooking for the sick4 #g4 ,,what ,a ,,mother ,,should ,,know3 ,i4 ,,infant ,,feeding4--,the care of milk1 milk sterilization1 care of bottles1 preparation of commonly employed infant foods1 the general principles of infant feeding1 with rules as to quality and frequency4 ,,ii4 ,,bathing4--,the daily bath2 the use of hot1 cold and mustard baths4 ,,iii4 ,,hygiene ,,of ,,the ,,skin4 ,care of the mouth1 eyes and ears4 ,ventilation1 temperature1 cleanliness1 care of napkins1 etc4 ,,iv4 ,,training ,,of ,,children in proper bodily habits4 ,simple means of treatment in sickness1 etc4 #h4 ,,the ,,cry ,,of ,,the ,,sick ,,child4--,the cry of the child is a language by which the character of its suffering to some extent may be ascertained4 ,the manner in which the cry is uttered1 or the pitch and tone is generally a symptom of a certain kind of disease4 #i4 ,,stomachache4--,the cry of the child in suffering with pain of the stomach is loud1 excitable and spasmodic4 ,the legs are drawn up and as the pain ceases1 they are relaxed and the child sobs itself to sleep1 and rests until awakened again by pain4 #aj4 ,,lung ,,trouble4--,when a child is suffering with an affection of the lungs or throat1 it never cries loudly or continuously4 ,a distress in breathing causes a sort of subdued cry and low moaning4 ,if there is a slight cough it is generally a sign that there is some complication with the lungs4 #aa4 ,,disease ,,of ,,the ,,brain4--,in disease of the brain the cry is always sharp1 short and piercing4 ,drowsiness generally follows each spasm of pain4 #ab4 ,,fevers4--,children rarely cry when suffering with fever unless they are disturbed4 ,they should be handled very gently and spoken to in a very quiet and tender tone of voice4 #ac4 ,,the ,,chamber ,,of ,,the ,,sick ,,room4--,the room of the sick child should be kept scrupulously clean4 ,no noise should disturb the quiet and rest of the child4 ,if the weather is mild1 plenty of fresh air should be admitted2 the temperature should be kept at about #gj degrees4 ,a thermometer should be kept in the room1 and the air should be changed several times during the day4 ,this may be done with safety to the child by covering it up with woolen blankets to protect it from draft1 while the windows and doors are opened4 ,fresh air often does more to restore the sick child than the doctor's medicine4 ,take the best room in the house4 ,if necessary take the parlor1 always make the room pleasant for the sick4 #ad4 ,,visitors4--,carefully avoid the conversation of visitors or the loud and boisterous playing of children in the house4 ,if there is much noise about the house that cannot be avoided1 it is a good plan to put cotton in the ears of the patient4 #ae4 ,,light ,,in ,,the ,,room4--,light has a tendency to produce nervous irritability1 consequently it is best to exclude as much daylight as possible and keep the room in a sort of twilight until the child begins to improve4 ,be careful to avoid any odor coming from a burning lamp in the night4 ,when the child begins to recover1 give it plenty of sunlight4 ,after the child begins to get better let in all the sunlight the windows will admit4 ,take a south room for the sick bed4 #af4 ,,sickness ,,in ,,summer4--,if the weather is very hot it is a good plan to dampen the floors with cold water1 or set several dishes of water in the room1 but be careful to keep the patient out of the draft1 and avoid any sudden change of temperature4 #ag4 ,,bathing4--,bathe every sick child in warm water once a day unless prohibited by the doctor4 ,if the child has a spasm or any attack of a serious nervous character in absence of the doctor1 place him in a hot bath at once4 ,hot water is one of the finest agencies for the cure of nervous diseases4 ,illustration #ah4 ,,scarlet ,,fever ,,and ,,measles4--,bathe the child in warm water to bring out the rash1 and put in about a dessertspoonsful of mustard into each bath4 #ai4 ,,drinks4--,if a child is suffering with fevers1 let it have all the water it wants4 ,toast-water will be found nourishing4 ,when the stomach of the child is in an irritable condition1 nourishments containing milk or any other fluid should be given very sparingly4 ,barley-water and rice-water are very soothing to an irritable stomach4 #bj4 ,,food4--,mellin's ,food and milk is very nourishing if the child will take it4 ,oatmeal gruel1 white of eggs1 etc4 are excellent and nourishing articles4 ,see ,how to cook for the ,sick4 #ba4 ,,eating ,,fruit4--,let children who are recovering from sickness eat moderately of good fresh fruit4 ,never let a child1 whether well or sick1 eat the skins of any kind of fruit4 ,the outer covering of fruit was not made to eat1 and often has poisonous matter very injurious to health upon its surface4 ,contagious and infectious diseases are often communicated in that way4 #bb4 ,,sudden ,,startings with the thumbs drawn into the palms1 portend trouble with the brain1 and often end in convulsions1 which are far more serious in infants than in children4 ,convulsions in children often result from a suppression of urine4 ,if you have occasion to believe that such is the case1 get the patient to sweating as soon as possible4 ,give it a hot bath1 after which cover it up in bed and put bags of hot salt over the lower part of the abdomen4 #bc4 ,,symptoms ,,of ,,indigestion4--,if the baby shows symptoms of indigestion1 do not begin giving it medicine4 ,it is wiser to decrease the quantity and quality of the food and let the little one omit one meal entirely1 that his stomach may rest4 ,avoid all starchy foods1 as the organs of digestion are not sufficiently developed to receive them4 ,a ,,table ,,for ,,feeding ,a ,,baby ,,on ,,modified ,,milk4 #b;d week3 ,top ,milk #a-a_/b oz4 ,milk ,sugar #d teaspoons ,barley ,gruel #aj oz4 ,cream #b-c_/d oz4 ,lime ,water #b oz4 #a-a_/b oz4 at feeding #aj times a day #c;d week3 ,top ,milk #f oz4 ,milk ,sugar #e-a_/b teaspoons ,barley ,gruel #ah oz4 ,lime ,water #d oz4 #b oz4 at feeding #aj times a day #dth to #hth week3 ,top ,milk #i oz4 ,milk ,sugar #h teaspoons ,barley ,gruel to make a quart ,lime ,water #d oz4 #c oz4 at feeding #h times a day #ith to #abth week3 ,top ,milk #aa oz4 ,milk ,sugar #g-a_/b teaspoons ,barley ,gruel to make a quart ,lime ,water #d oz4 #c oz4 at feeding #h times a day #dth month3 ,top ,milk #ac oz4 ,milk ,sugar #g teaspoons ,barley ,gruel to make a quart ,lime ,water #d oz4 #c to #d oz4 at feeding #g times a day #eth to #gth month3 ,top ,milk #ae oz4 ,milk ,sugar #f-a_/b teaspoons ,barley ,gruel to make a quart ,lime ,water #d oz4 #d to #e oz4 at feeding #f times a day #gth to #ith month3 ,top ,milk #ag oz4 ,milk ,sugar #f teaspoons ,barley ,gruel to make a quart ,lime ,water #d oz4 #f to #g oz4 at feeding #f times a day ,top ,milk--,let your quart of milk stand until the cream has risen1 then pour off number of ounces required4 ,sugar of ,milk may be purchased at your local druggist's4 ,gruel is prepared by cooking one level tablespoon of any good barley flour in a pint of water with a pinch of salt4 ,when partly cooled add to the milk4 ,,nursing4 ,period3 #ast and #b;d day ,nursing in #bd hours3 #d ,interval by day3 #f hrs4 ,night nursings #aj p4m4 to #f a4m43 #a ,period3 #c days to #d weeks ,nursing in #bd hours3 #aj ,interval by day3 #b hrs4 ,night nursings #aj p4m4 to #f a4m43 #a ,period3 #d weeks to #b mo4 ,nursing in #bd hours3 #h ,interval by day3 #b-a_/b hrs4 ,night nursings #aj p4m4 to #f a4m43 #a ,period3 #b to #e mo4 ,nursing in #bd hours3 #g ,interval by day3 #c hrs4 ,night nursings #aj p4m4 to #f a4m43 #a ,period3 #e to #ab mo4 ,nursing in #bd hours3 #f ,interval by day3 #c hrs4 ,night nursings #aj p4m4 to #f a4m43 #j ,,schedule ,,for ,,feeding ,,healthy ,,infants ,,during ,,first ,,year ,age3 #b;d to #gth day ,interval between meals by day3 #b hours ,night feedings #aj p4m4 to #g a4m43 #a ,no4 of feedings in #bd hours3 #aj ,quantity for one feeding3 #a to #a-a_/b ounces ,quantity in #bd hours3 #aj to #ae ounces ,age3 #b;d and #c;d week ,interval between meals by day3 #b hours ,night feedings #aj p4m4 to #g a4m43 #a ,no4 of feedings in #bd hours3 #aj ,quantity for one feeding3 #a-a_/b to #c ounces ,quantity in #bd hours3 #ae to #cj ounces ,age3 #dth and #eth weeks ,interval between meals by day3 #b-a_/b hours ,night feedings #aj p4m4 to #g a4m43 #a ,no4 of feedings in #bd hours3 #h ,quantity for one feeding3 #b-a_/b to #d ounces ,quantity in #bd hours3 #bj to #cb ounces ,age3 #fth to #ith week ,interval between meals by day3 #b-a_/b hours ,night feedings #aj p4m4 to #g a4m43 #a ,no4 of feedings in #bd hours3 #h ,quantity for one feeding3 #c to #e ounces ,quantity in #bd hours3 #bd to #dj ounces ,age3 #ith week to #eth mo4 ,interval between meals by day3 #c hours ,night feedings #aj p4m4 to #g a4m43 #a ,no4 of feedings in #bd hours3 #g ,quantity for one feeding3 #d to #f ounces ,quantity in #bd hours3 #bh to #db ounces ,age3 #eth to #ith month ,interval between meals by day3 #c hours ,night feedings #aj p4m4 to #g a4m43 #j ,no4 of feedings in #bd hours3 #f ,quantity for one feeding3 #e to #g-a_/b ounces ,quantity in #bd hours3 #cj to #de ounces ,age3 #ith to #abth month ,interval between meals by day3 #d hours ,night feedings #aj p4m4 to #g a4m43 #j ,no4 of feedings in #bd hours3 #e ,quantity for one feeding3 #g to #i ounces ,quantity in #bd hours3 #ce to #de ounces ,illustration3 ,a delicate child should never be put into the bath1 but bathed on the lap and kept warmly covered4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,keep ,a ,,baby ,,well4 #a4 ,the mother's milk is the natural food1 and nothing can fully take its place4 #b4 ,the infant's stomach does not readily accommodate itself to changes in diet2 therefore1 regularity in quality1 quantity and temperature is extremely necessary4 #c4 ,not until a child is a year old should it be allowed any food except that of milk1 and possibly a little cracker or bread1 thoroughly soaked and softened4 #d4 ,meat should never be given to very young children4 ,the best artificial food is cream1 reduced and sweetened with sugar and milk4 ,no rule can be given for its reduction4 ,observation and experience must teach that1 because every child's stomach is governed by a rule of its own4 #e4 ,a child can be safely weaned at one year of age1 and sometimes less4 ,it depends entirely upon the season1 and upon the health of the child4 #f4 ,a child should never be weaned during the warm weather1 in ,june1 ,july or ,august4 #g4 ,when a child is weaned it may be given1 in connection with the milk diet1 some such nourishment as broth1 gruel1 egg1 or some prepared food4 #h4 ,a child should never be allowed to come to the table until two years of age4 #i4 ,a child should never eat much starchy food until four years old4 #aj4 ,a child should have all the water it desires to drink1 but it is decidedly the best to boil the water first1 and allow it to cool4 ,all the impurities and disease germs are thereby destroyed4 ,this one thing alone will add greatly to the health and vigor of the child4 #aa4 ,where there is a tendency to bowel disorder1 a little gum arabic1 rice1 or barley may be boiled with the drinking water4 #ab4 ,if the child uses a bottle it should be kept absolutely clean4 ,it is best to have two or three bottles1 so that one will always be perfectly clean and fresh4 #ac4 ,the nipple should be of black or pure rubber1 and not of the white or vulcanized rubber2 it should fit over the top of the bottle4 ,no tubes should ever be used2 it is impossible to keep them clean4 #ad4 ,when the rubber becomes coated1 a little coarse salt will clean it4 #ae4 ,babies should be fed at regular times4 ,they should also be put to sleep at regular hours4 ,regularity is one of the best safeguards to health4 #af4 ,milk for babies and children should be from healthy cows4 ,milk from different cows varies1 and it is always better for a child to have milk from the same cow4 ,a farrow cow's milk is preferable1 especially if the child is not very strong4 #ag4 ,many of the prepared foods advertised for children are of little benefit4 ,a few may be good1 but what is good for one child may not be for another4 ,so it must be simply a matter of experiment if any of the advertised foods are used4 #ah4 ,it is a physiological fact that an infant is always healthier and better to sleep alone4 ,it gets better air and is not liable to suffocation4 #ai4 ,a healthy child should never be fed in less than two hours from the last time they finished before1 gradually lengthening the time as it grows older4 ,at #d months #c-a_/b or #d hours2 at #e months a healthy child will be better if given nothing in the night except1 perhaps1 a little water4 #bj4 ,give an infant a little water several times a day4 #ba4 ,a delicate child the first year should be oiled after each bath4 ,the oiling may often take the place of the bath1 in case of a cold4 #bb4 ,in oiling a babe1 use pure olive oil1 and wipe off thoroughly after each application4 ,for nourishing a weak child use also olive oil4 #bc4 ,for colds1 coughs1 croup1 etc41 use goose oil externally and give a teaspoonful at bed-time4 ,illustration3 ,,found ,,upon ,,the ,,doorstep4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,preserve ,,the ,,health ,,and ,,life ,,of ,,your ,,infant ,,during ,,hot ,,weather4 ,,bathing4 #a4 ,bathe infants daily in tepid water and even twice a day in hot weather4 ,if delicate they should be sponged instead of immersing them in water1 but cleanliness is absolutely necessary for the health of infants4 ,,clothing4 #b4 ,put no bands in their clothing1 but make all garments to hang loosely from the shoulders1 and have all their clothing scrupulously clean2 even the diaper should not be re-used without rinsing4 ,,sleep ,,alone4 #c4 ,the child should in all cases sleep by itself on a cot or in a crib and retire at a regular hour4 ,a child always early taught to go to sleep without rocking or nursing is the healthier and happier for it4 ,begin at birth and this will be easily accomplished4 ,,cordials ,,and ,,soothing ,,syrups4 #d4 ,never give cordials1 soothing syrups1 sleeping drops etc41 without the advice of a physician4 ,a child that frets and does not sleep is either hungry or ill4 ,if ill it needs a physician4 ,never give candy or cake to quiet a small child1 they are sure to produce disorders of the stomach1 diarrhoea or some other trouble4 ,,fresh ,,air4 #e4 ,children should have plenty of fresh air summer as well as winter4 ,avoid the severe hot sun and the heated kitchen for infants in summer4 ,heat is the great destroyer of infants4 ,,clean ,,houses4 #f4 ,keep your house clean and cool and well aired night and day4 ,your cellars cleared of all rubbish and white-washed every spring1 your drains cleaned with strong solution of copperas or chloride of lime1 poured down them once a week4 ,keep your gutters and yards clean and insist upon your neighbors doing the same4 ,,evacuations ,,of ,a ,,child4 ,the healthy motion varies from light orange yellow to greenish yellow1 in number1 two to four times daily4 ,smell should never be offensive4 ,slimy mucous-like jelly passages indicate worms4 ,pale green1 offensive1 acrid motions indicate disordered stomach4 ,dark green indicate acid secretions and a more serious trouble4 ,fetid dark brown stools are present in chronic diarrhoea ,putty-like pasty passages are due to aridity curdling the milk or to torpid liver4 ,illustration ,,breast ,,milk4 #g4 ,breast milk is the only proper food for infants until after the second summer4 ,if the supply is small keep what you have and feed the child in connection with it1 for if the babe is ill this breast milk may be all that will save its life4 ,,sterilized ,,milk4 #h4 ,milk is the best food4 ,goat's milk best1 cows milk next4 ,if the child thrives on this nothing else should be given during the hot weather1 until the front teeth are cut4 ,get fresh cow's milk twice a day if the child requires food in the night1 pour it into a glass fruit jar with one-third pure water for a child under three months old1 afterwards the proportion of water may be less and less1 also a trifle of sugar may be added4 ,then place the jar in a kettle or pan of cold water1 like the bottom of an oatmeal kettle4 ,leave the cover of the jar loose4 ,place it on the stove and let the water come to a boil and boil ten minutes1 screw down the cover tight and boil ten minutes more1 then remove from the fire1 and allow it to cool in the water slowly so as not to break the jar4 ,when partly cool put on the ice or in a cool place1 and keep tightly covered except when the milk is poured out for use4 ,the glass jar must be kept perfectly clean and washed and scalded carefully before use4 ,a tablespoonful of lime water to a bottle of milk will aid indigestion4 ,discard the bottle as soon as possible and use a cup which you know is clean1 whereas a bottle must be kept in water constantly when not in use1 or the sour milk will make the child sick4 ,use no tube for it is exceedingly hard to keep it clean1 and if pure milk cannot be had1 condensed milk is admirable and does not need to be sterilized as the above4 ,,diet4 #i4 ,never give babies under two years old such food if grown persons eat4 ,their chief diet should be milk1 wheat bread and milk1 oatmeal1 possibly a little rare boiled egg1 but always and chiefly milk4 ,germ wheat is also excellent4 ,illustration ,,exercise4 #aj4 ,children should have exercise in the house as well as outdoors1 but should not be jolted and jumped and jarred in rough play1 not rudely rocked in the cradle1 nor carelessly trundled over bumps in their carriages4 ,they should not be held too much in the arms1 but allowed to crawl and kick upon the floor and develop their limbs and muscles4 ,a child should not be lifted by its arms nor dragged along by one hand after it learns to take a few feeble steps1 but when they do learn to walk steadily it is the best of all exercise1 especially in the open air4 ,let the children as they grow older romp and play in the open air all they wish1 girls as well as boys4 ,give the girls an even chance for health1 while they are young at least1 and don't mind about their complexion4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,infant ,,teething4 #a4 ,,remarkable ,,instances4--,there are instances where babies have been born with teeth1 and1 on the other hand1 there are cases of persons who have never had any teeth at all2 and others that had double teeth all around in both upper and lower jaws1 but these are rare instances1 and may be termed as a sort of freaks of nature4 #b4 ,,infant ,,teething4--,the first teeth generally make their appearance after the third month1 and during the period of teething the child is fretful and restless1 causing sometimes constitutional disturbances1 such as diarrhoea1 indigestion1 etc4 ,usually1 however1 no serious results follow1 and no unnecessary anxiety need be felt1 unless the weather is extremely warm1 then there is some danger of summer complaint setting in and seriously complicating matters4 #c4 ,,the ,,number ,,of ,,teeth4--,teeth are generally cut in pairs and make their appearance first in the front and going backwards until all are complete4 ,it generally takes about two years for a temporary set of children's teeth4 ,a child two or three years old should have twenty teeth4 ,after the age of seven they generally begin to loosen and fall out and permanent teeth take their place4 #d4 ,,lancing ,,the ,,gums4--,this is very rarely necessary4 ,there are extreme cases when the condition of the mouth and health of the child demand a physician's lance1 but this should not he resorted to1 unless it is absolutely necessary4 ,when the gums are very much swollen and the tooth is nearly through1 the pains may be relieved by the mother taking a thimble and pressing it down upon the tooth1 the sharp edges of the tooth will cut through the swollen flesh1 and instant relief will follow4 ,a child in a few hours or a day will be perfectly happy after a very severe and trying time of sickness4 #e4 ,,permanent ,,teeth4--,the teeth are firmly inserted in sockets of the upper and lower jaw4 ,the permanent teeth which follow the temporary teeth1 when complete1 are sixteen in each jaw1 or thirty-two in all4 #f4 ,,names ,,of ,,teeth4--,there are four incisors 7front teeth71 four cuspids 7eye teeth71 four bicuspids 7grinders71 and four molars 7large grinders71 in each jaw4 ,each tooth is divided into the crown1 body1 and root4 ,the crown is the grinding surface2 the body--the part projecting from the jaw--is the seat of sensation and nutrition2 the root is that portion of the tooth which is inserted in the alveolus4 ,the teeth are composed of dentine 7ivory7 and enamel4 ,the ivory forms the greater portion of the body and root1 while the enamel covers the exposed surface4 ,the small white cords communicating with the teeth are the nerves4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,home ,,treatment ,,for ,,the ,,diseases ,,of ,,infants ,,and ,,children4 #a4 ,out of every #ajjj persons that died during the year of #aiab1 #age did not reach one year of age1 and #bdd died under five years of age4 ,what a fearful responsibility therefore rests upon the parents who permit these hundreds of thousands of children to die annually4 ,this terrible mortality among children is undoubtedly largely the result of ignorance as regarding to the proper care and treatment of sick children4 #b4 ,for very small children it is always best to use homoeopathic remedies4 ,,colic4 #a4 ,babies often suffer severely with colic4 ,it is not considered dangerous1 but causes considerable suffering4 #b4 ,severe colic is usually the result of derangement of the liver in the mother1 or of her insufficient or improper nourishment1 and it occurs more frequently when the child is from two to five months old4 #c4 ,let the mother eat chiefly barley1 wheat and bread1 rolled wheat1 graham bread1 fish1 milk1 eggs and fruit4 ,the latter may be freely eaten1 avoiding that which is very sour4 #d4 ,a rubber bag or bottle filled with hot water put into a crib1 will keep the child1 once quieted1 asleep for hours4 ,if a child is suffering from colic1 it should be thoroughly warmed and kept warm4 #e4 ,avoid giving opiates of any kind1 such as cordials1 ,mrs4 ,winslow's ,soothing ,syrup1 ,mother's ,friend1 and various other patent medicines4 ,they injure the stomach and health of the child1 instead of benefiting it4 #f4 ,,remedies4--,a few tablespoonfuls of hot water will often allay a severe attack of the colic4 ,catnip tea is also a good remedy4 ,a drop of essence of peppermint in #f or #g teaspoonfuls of hot water will give relief4 ,if the stools are green and the child is very restless1 give chamomilla4 ,if the child is suffering from constipation1 and undigested curds of milk appear in its faeces1 and the child starts suddenly in its sleep1 give nux vomica4 ,an injection of a few spoonfuls of hot water into the rectum with a little asafoetida is an effective remedy1 and will be good for an adult4 ,,constipation4 #a4 ,this is a very frequent ailment of infants4 ,the first thing necessary is for the mother to regulate her diet4 #b4 ,if the child is nursed regularly and held out at the same time of each day1 it will seldom be troubled with this complaint4 ,give plenty of water4 ,regularity of habit is the remedy4 ,if this method fails1 use a soap suppository4 ,make it by paring a piece of white castile soap round4 ,it should be made about the size of a lead pencil1 pointed at the end4 #c4 ,avoid giving a baby drugs4 ,let the physician administer them if necessary4 ,,diarrhoea4 ,great care should be exercised by parents in checking the diarrhoea of children4 ,many times serious diseases are brought on by parents being too hasty in checking this disorder of the bowels4 ,it is an infant's first method of removing obstructions and overcoming derangements of the system4 ,,summer ,,complaint4 #a4 ,summer complaint is an irritation and inflammation of the lining membranes of the intestines4 ,this may often be caused by teething1 eating indigestible food1 etc4 #b4 ,if the discharges are only frequent and yellow and not accompanied with pain1 there is no cause for anxiety2 but if the discharges are green1 soon becoming gray1 brown and sometimes frothy1 having a mixture of phlegm1 and sometimes containing food undigested1 a physician had better be summoned4 #c4 ,for mild attacks the following treatment may be given3 #a7 ,keep the child perfectly quiet and keep the room well aired4 #b7 ,put a drop of tincture of camphor on a teaspoonful of sugar1 mix thoroughly2 then add #f teaspoonfuls of hot water and give a teaspoonful of the mixture every ten minutes4 ,this is indicated where the discharges are watery1 and where there is vomiting and coldness of the feet and hands4 ,chamomilla is also an excellent remedy4 ,ipecac and nux vomica may also be given4 ,in giving homoeopathic remedies1 give #e or #f pellets every #b or #c hours4 #c7 ,the diet should be wholesome and nourishing4 ,,for ,,teething4 ,if a child is suffering with swollen gums1 is feverish1 restless1 and starts in its sleep1 give nux vomica4 ,,worms4 ,,pin ,,worms4 ,pin worms and round worms are the most common in children4 ,they are generally found in the lower bowels4 ,,symptoms4--,restlessness1 itching about the anus in the fore part of the evening1 and worms in the faeces4 ,,treatment4--,give with a syringe an injection of a tablespoonful of linseed oil4 ,cleanliness is also very necessary4 ,,round ,,worms4 ,a round worm is from six to sixteen inches in length1 resembling the common earth worm4 ,it inhabits generally the small intestines1 but it sometimes enters the stomach and is thrown up by vomiting4 ,,symptoms4--,distress1 indigestion1 swelling of the abdomen1 grinding of the teeth1 restlessness1 and sometimes convulsions4 ,,treatment4--,one teaspoonful of powdered wormseed mixed with a sufficient quantity of molasses1 or spread on bread and butter4 ,or1 one grain of santonine every four hours for two or three days1 followed by a brisk cathartic4 ,wormwood tea is also highly recommended4 ,,swaim',s ,,vermifuge4 #b ounces wormseed1 #a-a_/b ounces valerian1 #a-a_/b ounces rhubarb1 #a-a_/b ounces pink-root1 #a-a_/b ounces white agaric4 ,boil in sufficient water to yield #c quarts of decoction1 and add to it #cj drops of oil of tansy and #de drops of oil of cloves1 dissolved in a quart of rectified spirits4 ,dose1 #a teaspoonful at night4 ,,another ,,excellent ,,vermifuge4 ,oil of wormseed1 #a ounce1 ,oil of anise1 #a ounce1 ,castor oil1 #a ounce1 ,tinct4 of myrrh1 #b drops1 ,oil of turpentine1 #aj drops4 ,mix thoroughly4 ,always shake well before using4 ,give #aj to #ae drops in cold coffee1 once or twice a day4 ,illustration ,,how ,,to ,,treat ,,croup ,,spasmodic ,,and ,,true4 ,,spasmodic ,,croup4 ,,definition4--,a spasmodic closure of the glottis which interferes with respiration4 ,comes on suddenly and usually at night1 without much warning4 ,it is a purely nervous disease and may be caused by reflex nervous irritation from undigested food in the stomach or bowels1 irritation of the gums in dentition1 or from brain disorders4 ,,symptoms4--,child awakens suddenly at night with suspended respiration or very difficult breathing4 ,after a few respirations it cries out and then falls asleep quietly1 or the attack may last an hour or so1 when the face will become pale1 veins in the neck become turgid and feet and hands contract spasmodically4 ,in mild cases the attacks will only occur once during the night1 but may recur on the following night4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,during the paroxysm dashing cold water in the face is a common remedy4 ,to terminate the spasm and prevent its return give teaspoonful doses of powdered alum4 ,the syrup of squills is an old and tried remedy2 give in #ae to #cj drop doses and repeat every #aj minutes till vomiting occurs4 ,seek out the cause if possible and remove it4 ,it commonly lies in some derangement of the digestive organs4 ,,true ,,croup4 ,,definition4--,this disease consists of an inflammation of the mucous membrane of the upper air passages1 particularly of the larynx with the formation of a false membrane that obstructs the breathing4 ,the disease is most common in children between the ages of two and seven years1 but it may occur at any age4 ,,symptoms4--,usually there are symptoms of a cold for three or four days previous to the attack4 ,marked hoarseness is observed in the evening with a ringing metallic cough and some difficulty in breathing1 which increases and becomes somewhat paroxysmal till the face which was at first flushed becomes pallid and ashy in hue4 ,the efforts at breathing become very great1 and unless the child gets speedy relief it will die of suffocation4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,patient should be kept in a moist warm atmosphere1 and cold water applied to the neck early in the attack4 ,as soon as the breathing seems difficult give a half to one teaspoonful of powdered alum in honey to produce vomiting and apply the remedies suggested in the treatment of diphtheria1 as the two diseases are thought by many to be identical4 ,when the breathing becomes labored and face becomes pallid1 the condition is very serious and a physician should be called without delay4 ,,scarlet ,,fever4 ,,definition4--,an eruptive contagious disease1 brought about by direct exposure to those having the disease1 or by contact with clothing1 dishes1 or other articles1 used about the sick room4 ,the clothing may be disinfected by heating to a temperature of #bcj degrees ,fahrenheit or by dipping in boiling water before washing4 ,dogs and cats will also carry the disease and should be kept from the house1 and particularly from the sick room4 ,,symptoms4--,chilly sensations or a decided chill1 fever1 headache1 furred tongue1 vomiting1 sore throat1 rapid pulse1 hot dry skin and more or less stupor4 ,in from #f to #ah hours a fine red rash appears about the ears1 neck and shoulders1 which rapidly spreads to the entire surface of the body4 ,after a few days1 a scurf or branny scales will begin to form on the skin4 ,these scales are the principal source of contagion4 ,,home ,,treatment4 #a4 ,isolate the patient from other members of the family to prevent the spread of the disease4 #b4 ,keep the patient in bed and give a fluid diet of milk gruel1 beef tea1 etc41 with plenty of cold water to drink4 #c4 ,control the fever by sponging the body with tepid water1 and relieve the pain in the throat by cold compresses1 applied externally4 #d4 ,as soon as the skin shows a tendency to become scaly1 apply goose grease or clean lard with a little boracic acid powder dusted in it1 or better1 perhaps1 carbolized vaseline to relieve the itching and prevent the scales from being scattered about1 and subjecting others to the contagion4 ,,regular ,,treatment4--,a few drops of aconite every three hours to regulate the pulse1 and if the skin be pale and circulation feeble1 with tardy eruption1 administer one to ten drops of tincture of belladonna1 according to the age of the patient4 ,at the end of third week1 if eyes look puffy and feet swell1 there is danger of ,acute ,bright's disease1 and a physician should be consulted4 ,if the case does not progress well under the home remedies suggested1 a physician should be called at once4 ,,whooping ,,cough4 ,,definition4--,this is a contagious disease which is known by a peculiar whooping sound in the cough4 ,considerable mucus is thrown off after each attack of spasmodic coughing4 ,,symptoms4--,it usually commences with the symptoms of a common cold in the head1 some chilliness1 feverishness1 restlessness1 headache1 a feeling of tightness across the chest1 violent paroxysms of coughing1 sometimes almost threatening suffocation1 and accompanied with vomiting4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,patient should eat plain food and avoid cold drafts and damp air1 but keep in the open air as much as possible4 ,a strong tea made of the tops of red clover is highly recommended4 ,a strong tea made of chestnut leaves1 sweetened with sugar1 is also very good4 #a teaspoonful of powdered alum1 #a teaspoonful of syrup4 ,mix in a tumbler of water1 and give the child one teaspoonful every two or three hours4 ,a kerosene lamp kept burning in the bed chamber at night is said to lessen the cough and shorten the course of the disease4 ,,mumps4 ,,definition4--,this is a contagious disease causing the inflammation of the salivary glands1 and is generally a disease of childhood and youth4 ,,symptoms4--,a slight fever1 stiffness of the neck and lower jaw1 swelling and soreness of the gland4 ,it usually develops in four or five days and then begins to disappear4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,apply to the swelling a hot poultice of cornmeal and bread and milk4 ,a hop poultice is also excellent4 ,take a good dose of physic and rest carefully4 ,a warm general bath1 or mustard foot bath1 is very good4 ,avoid exposure or cold drafts4 ,if a bad cold is taken1 serious results may follow4 ,,measles4 ,,definition4--,it is an eruptive1 contagious disease1 preceded by cough and other catarrhal symptoms for about four or five days4 ,the eruption comes rapidly in small red spots1 which are slightly raised4 ,,symptoms4--,a feeling of weakness1 loss of appetite1 some fever1 cold in the head1 frequent sneezing1 watery eyes1 dry cough and a hot skin4 ,the disease takes effect nine or ten days after exposure4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,measles is not a dangerous disease in the child1 but in an adult it is often very serious4 ,in childhood very little medicine is necessary1 but exposure must be carefully avoided1 and the patient kept in bed1 in a moderately warm room4 ,the diet should be light and nourishing4 ,keep the room dark4 ,if the eruption does not come out promptly1 apply hot baths4 ,,common ,,treatment4--,two teaspoonfuls of spirits of nitre1 one teaspoonful paregoric1 one wineglassful of camphor water4 ,mix thoroughly1 and give a teaspoonful in half a teacupful of water every two hours4 ,to relieve the cough1 if troublesome1 flax seed tea1 or infusion of slippery-elm bark1 with a little lemon juice to render more palatable1 will be of benefit4 ,,chicken ,,pox4 ,,definition4--,this is a contagious1 eruptive disease1 which resembles to some extent small-pox4 ,the pointed vesicles or pimples have a depression in the center in chicken-pox1 and in small pox they do not4 ,,symptoms4--,nine to seventeen days elapse after the exposure1 before symptoms appear4 ,slight fever1 a sense of sickness1 the appearance of scattered pimples1 some itching and heat4 ,the pimples rapidly change into little blisters1 filled with a watery fluid4 ,after five or six days they disappear4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,milk diet1 and avoid all kinds of meat4 ,keep the bowels open1 and avoid all exposure to cold4 ,large vesicles on the face should be punctured early and irritation by rubbing should be avoided4 ,,home ,,treatment ,,of ,,diphtheria4 ,,definition4--,acute1 specific1 constitutional disease1 with local manifestations in the throat1 mouth1 nose1 larynx1 wind-pipe1 and glands of the neck4 ,the disease is infectious but not very contagious under the proper precautions4 ,it is a disease of childhood1 though adults sometimes contract it4 ,many of the best physicians of the day consider true or membranous croup to be due to this diphtheritic membranous disease thus located in the larynx or trachea4 ,,symptoms4--,symptoms vary according to the severity of the attack4 ,chills1 fever1 headache1 languor1 loss of appetite1 stiffness of neck1 with tenderness about the angles of the jaw1 soreness of the throat1 pain in the ear1 aching of the limbs1 loss of strength1 coated tongue1 swelling of the neck1 and offensive breath2 lymphatic glands on side of neck enlarged and tender4 ,the throat is first to be seen red and swollen1 then covered with grayish white patches1 which spread1 and a false membrane is found on the mucous membrane4 ,if the nose is attacked1 there will be an offensive discharge1 and the child will breathe through the mouth4 ,if the larynx or throat are involved1 the voice will become hoarse1 and a croupy cough1 with difficult breathing1 shows that the air passage to the lungs is being obstructed by the false membrane4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,isolate the patient1 to prevent the spread of the disease4 ,diet should be of the most nutritious character1 as milk1 eggs1 broths1 and oysters4 ,give at intervals of every two or three hours4 ,if patient refuses to swallow1 from the pain caused by the effort1 a nutrition injection must be resorted to4 ,inhalations of steam and hot water1 and allowing the patient to suck pellets of ice1 will give relief4 ,sponges dipped in hot water1 and applied to the angles of the jaw1 are beneficial4 ,inhalations of lime1 made by slaking freshly burnt lime in a vessel1 and directing the vapor to the child's mouth1 by means of a newspaper1 or similar contrivance4 ,flour of sulphur1 blown into the back of the mouth and throat by means of a goose quill1 has been highly recommended4 ,frequent gargling of the throat and mouth1 with a solution of lactic acid1 strong enough to taste sour1 will help to keep the parts clean1 and correct the foul breath4 ,if there is great prostration1 with the nasal passage affected1 or hoarseness and difficult breathing1 a physician should be called at once4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,diseases ,,of ,,women4 ,,disorders ,,of ,,the ,,menses4 #a4 ,,suppression ,,of1 ,,or ,,scanty ,,menses4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,attention to the diet1 and exercise in the open air to promote the general health4 ,some bitter tonic1 taken with fifteen grains of dialyzed iron1 well diluted1 after meals1 if patient is pale and debilitated4 ,a hot foot bath is often all that is necessary4 #b4 ,,profuse ,,menstruation4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,avoid highly seasoned food1 and the use of spirituous liquors2 also excessive fatigue1 either physical or mental4 ,to check the flow1 patient should be kept quiet1 and allowed to sip cinnamon tea during the period4 #c4 ,,painful ,,menstruation4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,often brought on by colds4 ,treat by warm hip baths1 hot drinks 7avoiding spirituous liquors71 and heat applied to the back and extremities4 ,a teaspoonful of the fluid extract of viburnum will sometimes act like a charm4 ,,how ,,to ,,cure ,,swelled ,,and ,,sore ,,breasts4 ,take and boil a quantity of chamomile1 and apply the hot fomentations4 ,this dissolves the knot1 and reduces the swelling and soreness4 ,,leucorrhea ,,or ,,whites4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,this disorder1 if not arising from some abnormal condition of the pelvic organs1 can easily be cured by patient taking the proper amount of exercise and good nutritious food1 avoiding tea and coffee4 ,an injection every evening of one teaspoonful of ,pond's ,extract in a cup of hot water1 after first cleansing the vagina well with a quart of warm water1 is a simple but effective remedy4 ,,inflammation ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,when in the acute form this disease is ushered in by a chill1 followed by fever1 and pain in the region of the womb4 ,patient should be placed in bed1 and a brisk purgative given1 hot poultices applied to the abdomen1 and the feet and hands kept warm4 ,if the symptoms do not subside1 a physician should be consulted4 ,,hysteria4 ,,definition4--,a functional disorder of the nervous system of which it is impossible to speak definitely2 characterized by disturbance of the reason1 will1 imagination1 and emotions1 with sometimes convulsive attacks that resemble epilepsy4 ,,symptoms4--,fits of laughter1 and tears without apparent cause2 emotions easily excited2 mind often melancholy and depressed2 tenderness along the spine2 disturbances1 of digestion1 with hysterical convulsions1 and other nervous phenomena4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,some healthy and pleasant employment should be urged upon women afflicted with this disease4 ,men are also subject to it1 though not so frequently4 ,avoid excessive fatigue and mental worry2 also stimulants and opiates4 ,plenty of good food and fresh air will do more good than drugs4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,falling ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,,causes4--,the displacement of the womb usually is the result of too much childbearing1 miscarriages1 abortions1 or the taking of strong medicines to bring about menstruation4 ,it may also be the result in getting up too quickly from the childbed4 ,there are1 however1 other causes1 such as a general breaking down of the health4 ,,symptoms4--,if the womb has fallen forward it presses against the bladder1 causing the patient to urinate frequently4 ,if the womb has fallen back1 it presses against the rectum1 and constipation is the result with often severe pain at stool4 ,if the womb descends into the vagina there is a feeling of heaviness4 ,all forms of displacement produce pain in the back1 with an irregular and scanty menstrual flow and a dull and exhausted feeling4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,improve the general health4 ,take some preparation of cod-liver oil1 hot injections 7of a teaspoonful of powdered alum with a pint of water71 a daily sitz-bath1 and a regular morning bath three times a week will be found very beneficial4 ,there1 however1 can be no remedy unless the womb is first replaced to the proper position4 ,this must be done by a competent physician who should frequently be consulted4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,menstruation4 #a4 ,,its ,,importance4--,menstruation plays a momentous part in the female economy2 indeed1 unless it be in every way properly and duly performed1 it is neither possible that a lady can be well1 nor is it at all probable that she will conceive4 ,the large number of barren1 of delicate1 and of hysterical women there are in ,america arises mainly from menstruation not being duly and properly performed4 #b4 ,,the ,,boundary-,,line4--,menstruation--the periods--the appearance of the catamenia or the menses--is then one of the most important epochs in a girl's life4 ,it is the boundary-line1 the landmark between childhood and womanhood2 it is the threshold1 so to speak1 of a woman's life4 ,her body now develops and expands1 and her mental capacity enlarges and improves4 #c4 ,,the ,,commencement ,,of ,,menstruation4--,a good beginning at this time is peculiarly necessary1 or a girl's health is sure to suffer and different organs of the body--her lungs1 for instance1 may become imperiled4 ,a healthy continuation1 at regular periods1 is also much needed1 or conception1 when she is married1 may not occur4 ,great attention and skillful management is required to ward off many formidable diseases1 which at the close of menstruation--at the change of life--are more likely than at any time to be developed4 ,if she marry when very young1 marriage weakens her system1 and prevents a full development of her body4 ,moreover1 such an one is1 during the progress of her labor1 prone to convulsions--which is a very serious childbed complication4 #d4 ,,early ,,marriages4--,statistics prove that twenty per cent--#bj in every #ajj--of females who marry are under age1 and that such early marriages are often followed by serious1 and sometimes even by fatal consequences to mother1 to progeny1 or to both4 ,parents ought1 therefore1 to persuade their daughters not to marry until they are of age--twenty-one2 they should point out to them the risk and danger likely to ensue if their advice be not followed2 they should ,impress upon their minds the old adage3 ,early wed1 ,early dead4 #e4 ,,time ,,to ,,marry4--,parents who have the real interest and happiness of their daughters at heart1 ought1 in consonance with the laws of physiology1 to discountenance marriage before twenty2 and the nearer the girls arrive at the age of twenty-five before the consummation of this important rite1 the greater the probability that1 physically and morally1 they will be protected against those risks which precocious marriages bring in their train4 #f4 ,,feeble ,,parents4--,feeble parents have generally feeble children2 diseased parents1 diseased children2 nervous parents1 nervous children2--like begets like4 ,it is sad to reflect1 that the innocent have to suffer1 not only for the guilty1 but for the thoughtless and inconsiderate4 ,disease and debility are thus propagated from one generation to another and the ,american race becomes woefully deteriorated4 #g4 ,,time4--,menstruation in this country usually commences at the ages of from thirteen to sixteen1 sometimes earlier2 occasionally as early as eleven or twelve2 at other times later1 and not until a girl be seventeen or eighteen years of age4 ,menstruation in large towns is supposed to commence at an earlier period than in the country1 and earlier in luxurious than in simple life4 #h4 ,,character4--,the menstrual fluid is not exactly blood1 although1 both in appearance and properties1 it much resembles it2 yet it never in the healthy state clots as blood does4 ,it is a secretion of the womb1 and1 when healthy1 ought to be of a bright red color in appearance very much like the blood from a recently cut finger4 ,the menstrual fluid ought not1 as before observed1 clot4 ,if it does1 a lady1 during her periods1 suffers intense pain2 moreover1 she seldom conceives until the clotting has ceased4 #i4 ,,menstruation ,,during ,,nursing4--,some ladies1 though comparatively few1 menstruate during nursing2 when they do1 it may be considered not as the rule1 but as the exception4 ,it is said in such instances1 that they are more likely to conceive2 and no doubt they are1 as menstruation is an indication of a proneness to conception4 ,many persons have an idea that when a woman1 during lactation1 menstruates1 her milk is both sweeter and purer4 ,such is an error4 ,menstruation during nursing is more likely to weaken the mother1 and consequently to deteriorate her milk1 and thus make it less sweet and less pure4 #aj4 ,,violent ,,exercise4--,during the monthly periods violent exercise is injurious2 iced drinks and acid beverages are improper2 and bathing in the sea1 and bathing the feet in cold water1 and cold baths are dangerous2 indeed1 at such times as these1 no risks should be run1 and no experiments should1 for the moment1 be permitted1 otherwise serious consequences will1 in all probability1 ensue4 #aa4 ,,the ,,pale1 ,,colorless-,,complexioned4--,the pale1 colorless-complexioned1 helpless1 listless1 and almost lifeless young ladies who are so constantly seen in society1 usually owe their miserable state of health to absent1 to deficient1 or to profuse menstruation4 ,their breathing is short--they are soon out of breath1 if they attempt to take exercise--to walk1 for instance1 either up stairs or up a hill1 or even for half a mile on level ground1 their breath is nearly exhausted--they pant as though they had been running quickly4 ,they are ready1 after the slightest exertion or fatigue1 and after the least worry or excitement1 to feel faint1 and sometimes even to actually swoon away4 ,now such cases may1 if judiciously treated1 be generally soon cured4 ,it therefore behooves mothers to seek medical aid early for their girls1 and that before irreparable mischief has been done to the constitution4 #ab4 ,,poverty ,,of ,,blood4--,in a pale1 delicate girl or wife1 who is laboring under what is popularly called poverty of blood1 the menstrual fluid is sometimes very scant1 at others very copious1 but is1 in either case1 usually very pale--almost as colorless as water1 the patient being very nervous and even hysterical4 ,now1 these are signs of great debility2 but1 fortunately for such an one1 a medical man is1 in the majority of cases1 in possession of remedies that will soon make her all right again4 #ac4 ,,no ,,right ,,to ,,marry4--,a delicate girl has no right until she be made strong1 to marry4 ,if she should marry1 she will frequently1 when in labor1 not have strength1 unless she has help1 to bring a child into the world2 which1 provided she be healthy and well-formed1 ought not to be4 ,how graphically the ,bible tells of delicate women not having strength to bring children into the world3 ,for the children are come to the birth1 and there is not strength to bring forth4--#b ,kings ,,xix1 #c4 #ad4 ,,too ,,sparing4--,menstruation at another time is too sparing2 this is a frequent cause of sterility4 ,medical aid1 in the majority of cases1 will be able to remedy the defect1 and1 by doing so1 will probably be the means of bringing the womb into a healthy state1 and thus predispose to conception4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,celebrated ,,prescriptions ,,for ,,all ,,diseases ,,and ,,how ,,to ,,use ,,them4 ,,vinegar ,,for ,,hives4 ,after trying many remedies in a severe case of hives1 ,mr4 ,swain found vinegar lotion gave instant relief1 and subsequent trials in other cases have been equally successful4 ,one part of water to two parts of vinegar is the strength most suitable4 ,,throat ,,trouble4 ,a teaspoonful of salt1 in a cup of hot water makes a safe and excellent gargle in most throat troubles4 ,,for ,,sweating ,,feet1 ,,with ,,bad ,,odor4 ,wash the feet in warm water with borax1 and if this don't cure1 use a solution of permanganate to destroy the fetor2 about five grains to each ounce of water4 ,,amenorrhoea4 ,the following is recommended as a reliable emmenagogue in many cases of functional amenorrhoea3 ,bichloride of mercury1 ,arsenite of sodium1 aa gr4 iij4 ,sulphate of strychnine1 gr4 iss4 ,carbonate of potassium1 ,sulphate of iron1 aa gr4 xlv4 ,mix and divide into sixty pills4 ,sig4 ,one pill after each meal4 ,,sick ,,headache4 ,take a spoonful of finely powdered charcoal in a small glass of warm water to relieve a sick headache4 ,it absorbs the gasses produced by the fermentation of undigested food4 ,,an ,,excellent ,,eye ,,wash4 ,acetate of zinc1 #bj grains4 ,acetate of morphia1 #e grains4 ,rose water1 #d ounces4 ,mix4 ,,for ,,films ,,and ,,cataracts ,,of ,,the ,,eyes4 ,blood ,root ,pulverized1 #a ounce4 ,hog's lard1 #c ounces4 ,mix1 simmer for #bj minutes1 then strain2 when cold put a little in the eyes twice or three times a day4 ,,for ,,burns ,,and ,,sores4 ,pitch ,burgundy1 #b pounds4 ,bees' ,wax1 #a pound4 ,hog's lard1 one pound4 ,mix all together and simmer over a slow fire until the whole are well mixed together2 then stir it until cold4 ,apply on muslin to the parts affected4 ,,for ,,chapped ,,hands4 ,olive oil1 #f ounces4 ,camphor beat fine1 #a_/b ounce4 ,mix1 dissolve by gentle heat over slow fire and when cold apply to the hand freely4 ,,intoxication4 ,a man who is helplessly intoxicated may almost immediately restore the faculties and powers of locomotion by taking half a teaspoonful of chloride of ammonium in a goblet of water4 ,a wineglassful of strong vinegar will have the same effect and is frequently resorted to by drunken soldiers4 ,,nervous ,,disability1 ,,headache1 ,,neuralgia1 ,,nervousness4 ,fluid extract of scullcap1 #a ounce4 ,fluid extract ,american valerian1 #a ounce4 ,fluid extract catnip1 #a ounce4 ,mix all4 ,dose1 from #ae to #cj drops every two hours1 in water2 most valuable4 ,a valuable tonic in all conditions of debility and want of appetite4 ,comp4 tincture of cinchona in teaspoonful doses in a little water1 half hour before meals4 ,,another ,,excellent ,,tonic ,tincture of gentian1 #a ounce4 ,tincture of ,columba1 #a ounce4 ,tincture of ,collinsonia1 #a ounce4 ,mix all4 ,dose1 one tablespoonful in one tablespoonful of water before meals4 ,,remedy ,,for ,,chapped ,,hands4 ,when doing housework1 if your hands become chapped or red1 mix corn meal and vinegar into a stiff paste and apply to the hands two or three times a day1 after washing them in hot water1 then let dry without wiping1 and rub with glycerine4 ,at night use cold cream1 and wear gloves4 ,,bleeding4 ,very hot water is a prompt checker of bleeding1 besides if it is clean1 as it should be1 it aids in sterilizing our wound4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,cramp4 ,wherever friction can be conveniently applied1 heat will be generated by it1 and the muscle again reduced to a natural condition2 but if the pains proceed from the contraction of some muscle located internally1 burnt brandy is an excellent remedy4 ,a severe attack which will not yield to this simple treatment may be conquered by administering a small dose of laudanum or ether1 best given under medical supervision4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,colic ,castor oil1 given as soon as the symptoms of colic manifest themselves1 has frequently afforded relief4 ,at any rate1 the irritating substances must be expelled from the alimentary canal before the pains will subside4 ,all local remedies will be ineffectual1 and consequently the purgative should be given in large doses until a copious vacuation is produced4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,doctor',s ,,visit4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,heartburn4 ,if soda1 taken in small quantities after meals1 does not relieve the distress1 one may rest assured that the fluid is an alkali and requires an acid treatment4 ,proceed1 after eating1 to squeeze ten drops of lemon-juice into a small quantity of water1 and swallow it4 ,the habit of daily life should be made to conform to the laws of health1 or local treatment will prove futile4 ,,biliousness4 ,for biliousness1 squeeze the juice of a lime or small lemon into half a glass of cold water1 then stir in a little baking soda and drink while it foams4 ,this receipt will also relieve sick headache if taken at the beginning4 ,,turpentine ,,applications4 ,mix turpentine and lard in equal parts4 ,warmed and rubbed on the chest1 it is a safe1 reliable and mild counter irritant and revulsent in minor lung complications4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,mumps4 ,it is very important that the face and neck be kept warm4 ,avoid catching cold1 and regulate the stomach and bowels2 because when aggravated1 this disease is communicated to other glands1 and assumes there a serious form4 ,rest and quiet1 with a good condition of the general health1 will throw off this disease without further inconvenience4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,felon4 ,all medication1 such as poulticing1 anointing1 and the applications of lotions1 is but useless waste of time4 ,the surgeon's knife should be used as early as possible1 for it will be required sooner or later and the more promptly it can be applied1 the less danger is there from the disease1 and the more agony is spared to the unfortunate victim4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,stabs4 ,a wound made by thrusting a dagger or other oblong instrument into the flesh1 is best treated1 if no artery has been severed1 by applying lint scraped from a linen cloth1 which serves as an obstruction1 allowing and assisting coagulation4 ,meanwhile cold water should be applied to the parts adjoining the wound4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,mashed ,,nails4 ,if the injured member be plunged into very hot water the nail will become pliable and adapt itself to the new condition of things1 thus alleviating agony to some extent4 ,a small hole may be bored on the nail with a pointed instrument1 so adroitly as not to cause pain1 yet so successfully as to relieve pressure on the sensitive tissues4 ,free applications of arnica or iodine will have an excellent effect4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,foreign ,,body ,,in ,,the ,,eye4 ,when any foreign body enters the eye1 close it instantly1 and keep it still until you have an opportunity to ask the assistance of some one2 then have the upper lid folded over a pencil and the exposed surfaces closely searched2 if the body be invisible1 catch the everted lid by the lashes1 and drawing it down over the lower lid1 suddenly release it1 and it will resume its natural position4 ,unsuccessful in this attempt1 you may be pretty well assured that the object has become lodged in the tissues1 and will require the assistance of a skilled operator to remove it4 ,,cuts4 ,a drop or two of creosote on a cut will stop its bleeding4 ,,treatment ,,for ,,poison ,,oak--,,poison ,,ivy--,,poison ,,sumach4--,mr4 ,charles ,morris1 of ,philadelphia1 who has studied the subject closely1 uses1 as a sovereign remedy1 frequent bathing of the affected parts in water as hot as can be borne4 ,if used immediately after exposure1 it may prevent the eruption appearing4 ,if later1 it allays the itching1 and gradually dries up the swellings1 though they are very stubborn after they have once appeared4 ,but an application every few hours keeps down the intolerable itching1 which is the most annoying feature of sumach poisoning4 ,in addition to this1 the ordinary astringent ointments are useful1 as is also that sovereign lotion1 lead-water and laudanum4 ,mr4 ,morris adds to these a preventive prescription of wide-open eyes4 ,,bites ,,and ,,stings ,,of ,,insects4--,wash with a solution of ammonia water4 ,,bites ,,of ,,mad ,,dogs4--,apply caustic potash at once to the wound1 and give enough whiskey to cause sleep4 ,,burns4--,make a paste of common baking soda and water1 and apply it promptly to the burn4 ,it will quickly check the pain and inflammation4 ,,cold ,,on ,,chest4--,a flannel rag wrung out in boiling water and sprinkled with turpentine1 laid on the chest1 gives the greatest relief4 ,,cough4--,boil one ounce of flaxseed in a pint of water1 strain1 and add a little honey1 one ounce of rock candy1 and the juice of three lemons4 ,mix and boil well4 ,drink as hot as possible4 ,,sprained ,,ankle ,,or ,,wrist4--,wash the ankle very frequently with cold salt and water1 which is far better than warm vinegar or decoction of herbs4 ,keep the foot as cool as possible to prevent inflammation1 and sit with it elevated on a high cushion4 ,live on low diet1 and take every morning some cooling medicine1 such as ,epsom salts4 ,it cures in a few days4 ,,chilblains1 ,,sprains1 ,,etc4--,one raw egg well beaten1 half a pint of vinegar1 one ounce spirits of turpentine1 a quarter of an ounce of spirits of wine1 a quarter of an ounce of camphor4 ,these ingredients to be beaten together1 then put in a bottle and shaken for ten minutes1 after which1 to be corked down tightly to exclude the air4 ,in half an hour it is fit for use4 ,to be well rubbed in1 two1 three1 or four times a day4 ,for rheumatism in the head1 to be rubbed at the back of the neck and behind the ears4 ,in chilblains this remedy is to be used before they are broken4 ,,how ,,to ,,remove ,,superfluous ,,hair4--,sulphuret of ,arsenic1 one ounce2 ,quicklime1 one ounce2 ,prepared ,lard1 one ounce2 ,white ,wax1 one ounce4 ,melt the ,wax1 add the ,lard4 ,when nearly cold1 stir in the other ingredients4 ,apply to the superfluous hair1 allowing it to remain on from five to ten minutes2 use a table-knife to shave off the hair2 then wash with soap and warm water4 ,,dyspepsia ,,cure4--,powdered ,rhubarb1 two drachms3 ,bicarbonate of ,sodium1 six drachms2 ,fluid ,extract of ,gentian1 three drachms2 ,peppermint ,water1 seven and a half ounces4 ,mix them4 ,dose1 a teaspoonful half an hour before meals4 ,,for ,,neuralgia4--,tincture of ,belladonna1 one ounce2 ,tincture of ,camphor1 one ounce2 ,tincture of ,arnica1 one ounce2 ,tincture of ,opium1 one ounce4 ,mix them4 ,apply over the seat of the pain1 and give ten to twenty drops in sweetened water every two hours4 ,,for ,,coughs1 ,,colds1 ,,etc4--,syrup of ,morphia1 three ounces2 ,syrup of ,tar1 three and a half ounces2 ,chloroform1 one troy ounce2 ,glycerine1 one troy ounce4 ,mix them4 ,dose1 a teaspoonful three or four times a day4 ,,to ,,cure ,,hives4--,compound syrup of ,squill1 ,u4,s41 three ounces2 ,syrup of ,ipecac1 ,u4,s41 one ounce4 ,mix them4 ,dose1 a teaspoonful4 ,,to ,,cure ,,sick ,,headache4--,gather sumach leaves in the summer1 and spread them in the sun a few days to dry4 ,then powder them fine1 and smoke1 morning and evening for two weeks1 also whenever there are symptoms of approaching headache4 ,use a new clay pipe4 ,if these directions are adhered to1 this medicine will surely effect a permanent cure4 ,,whooping ,,cough4--,dissolve a scruple of salt of tartar in a gill of water2 add to it ten grains of cochineal2 sweeten it with sugar4 ,give to an infant a quarter teaspoonful four times a day2 two years old1 one-half teaspoonful2 from four years1 a tablespoonful4 ,great care is required in the administration of medicines to infants4 ,we can assure paternal inquirers that the foregoing may be depended upon4 ,,cut ,,or ,,bruise4--,apply the moist surface of the inside coating or skin of the shell of a raw egg4 ,it will adhere of itself1 leave no scar1 and heal without pain4 ,,disinfectant4--,chloride of lime should be scattered at least once a week under sinks and wherever sewer gas is likely to penetrate4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,young ,,doctor4 ,,costiveness4--,common charcoal is highly recommended for costiveness4 ,it may be taken in tea- or tablespoonful1 or even larger doses1 according to the exigencies of the case1 mixed with molasses1 repeating it as often as necessary4 ,bathe the bowels with pepper and vinegar4 ,or take two ounces of rhubarb1 add one ounce of rust of iron1 infuse in one quart of wine4 ,half a wineglassful every morning4 ,or take pulverized blood root1 one drachm1 pulverized rhubarb1 one drachm1 castile soap1 two scruples4 ,mix and roll into thirty-two pills4 ,take one1 morning and night4 ,by following these directions it may perhaps save you from a severe attack of the piles1 or some other kindred disease4 ,,to ,,cure ,,deafness4--,obtain pure pickerel oil1 and apply four drops morning and evening to the ear4 ,great care should be taken to obtain oil that is perfectly pure4 ,,deafness4--,take three drops of sheep's gall1 warm and drop it into the ear on going to bed4 ,the ear must be syringed with warm soap and water in the morning4 ,the gall must be applied for three successive nights4 ,it is only efficacious when the deafness is produced by cold4 ,the most convenient way of warming the gall is by holding it in a silver spoon over the flame of a light4 ,the above remedy has been frequently tried with perfect success4 ,,gout4--,this is ,col4 ,birch's recipe for rheumatic gout or acute rheumatism1 commonly called in ,england the ,chelsea ,pensioner4 ,half an ounce of nitre 7saltpetre71 half an ounce of sulphur1 half an ounce of flour of mustard1 half an ounce of ,turkey rhubarb1 quarter of an ounce of powdered guaicum4 ,mix1 and take a teaspoonful every other night for three nights1 and omit three nights1 in a wineglassful of cold water which has been previously well boiled4 ,,ringworm4--,the head is to be washed twice a day with soft soap and warm soft water2 when dried the places to be rubbed with a piece of linen rag dipped in ammonia from gas tar2 the patient should take a little sulphur and molasses1 or some other genuine aperient1 every morning2 brushes and combs should be washed every day1 and the ammonia kept tightly corked4 ,,piles4--,hamamelis1 both internally or as an injection in rectum4 ,bathe the parts with cold water or with astringent lotions1 as alum water1 especially in bleeding piles4 ,ointment of gallic acid and calomel is of repute4 ,the best treatment of all is1 suppositories of iodoform1 ergotine1 of tannic acid1 which can be made at any drug store4 ,,chicken ,,pox4--,no medicine is usually needed1 except a tea made from pleurisy root1 to make the child sweat4 ,milk diet is the best2 avoidance of animal food2 careful attention to the bowels2 keep cool and avoid exposure to cold4 ,,scarlet ,,fever4--,cold water compress on the throat4 ,fats and oils rubbed on hands and feet4 ,the temperature of the room should be about #fh degrees ,fahr41 and all draughts avoided4 ,mustard baths for retrocession of the rash and to bring it out4 ,diet3 ripe fruit1 toast1 gruel1 beef1 tea and milk4 ,stimulants are useful to counteract depression of the vital forces4 ,,false ,,measles ,,or ,,rose ,,rash4--,it requires no treatment except hygienic4 ,keep the bowels open4 ,nourishing diet1 and if there is itching1 moisten the skin with five per cent4 solution of aconite or solution of starch and water4 ,,bilious ,,attacks4--,drop doses of muriatic acid in a wine glass of water every four hours1 or the following prescription3 ,bicarbonate of soda1 one drachm2 ,aromatic spirits of ammonia1 two drachms2 ,peppermint water1 four ounces4 ,dose3 ,take a teaspoonful every four hours4 ,,diarrhoea4--,the following prescription is generally all that will be necessary3 acetate of lead1 eight grains2 gum arabic1 two drachms2 acetate of morphia1 one grain2 and cinnamon water1 eight ounces4 ,take a teaspoonful every three hours4 ,be careful not to eat too much food4 ,some consider1 the best treatment is to fast1 and it is a good suggestion4 ,patients should keep quiet and have the room of a warm and even temperature4 ,,vomiting4--,ice dissolved in the mouth1 often cures vomiting when all remedies fail4 ,much depends on the diet of persons liable to such attacts2 this should be easily digestible food1 taken often and in small quantities4 ,vomiting can often be arrested by applying a mustard paste over the region of the stomach4 ,it is not necessary to allow it to remain until the parts are blistered1 but it may be removed when the part becomes thoroughly red1 and reapplied if required after the redness has disappeared4 ,one of the secrets to relieve vomiting is to give the stomach perfect rest1 not allowing the patient even a glass of water1 as long as the tendency remains to throw it up again4 ,,nervous ,,headache4--,extract hyoscymus five grains1 pulverized camphor five grains4 ,mix4 ,make four pills1 one to be taken when the pain is most severe in nervous headache4 ,or three drops tincture nux vomica in a spoonful of water1 two or three times a day4 ,,bleeding ,,from ,,the ,,nose4--from whatever cause--may generally be stopped by putting a plug of lint into the nostril2 if this does not do1 apply a cold lotion to the forehead2 raise the head and place both arms over the head1 so that it will rest on both hands2 dip the lint plug1 slightly moistened1 in some powdered gum arabic1 and plug the nostrils again2 or dip the plug into equal parts of gum arabic and alum4 ,an easier and simpler method is to place a piece of writing paper on the gums of the upper jaw1 under the upper lip1 and let it remain there for a few minutes4 ,,boils4--,these should be brought to a head by warm poultices of camomile flowers1 or boiled white lily root1 or onion root1 by fermentation with hot water1 or by stimulating plasters4 ,when ripe they should be destroyed by a needle or lancet4 ,but this should not be attempted until they are thoroughly proved4 ,,bunions may be checked in their early development by binding the joint with adhesive plaster1 and keeping it on as long as any uneasiness is felt4 ,the bandaging should be perfect1 and it might be well to extend it round the foot ,an inflamed bunion should be poulticed1 and larger shoes be worn4 ,iodine #ab grains1 lard or spermaceti ointment half an ounce1 makes a capital ointment for bunions4 ,it should be rubbed on gently twice or three times a day4 ,,felons4--,one table-spoonful of red lead1 and one tablespoonful of castile soap1 and mix them with as much weak lye as will make it soft enough to spread like a salve1 and apply it on the first appearance of the felon1 and it will cure in ten or twelve days4 ,,care ,,for ,,warts4--,the easiest way to get rid of warts1 is to pare off the thickened skin which covers the prominent wart2 cut it off by successive layers and shave it until you come to the surface of the skin1 and till you draw blood in two or three places4 ,then rub the part thoroughly over with lunar caustic1 and one effective operation of this kind will generally destroy the wart2 if not1 you cut off the black spot which has been occasioned by the caustic1 and apply it again2 or you may apply acetic acid1 and thus you will get rid of it4 ,care must be taken in applying these acids1 not to rub them on the skin around the wart4 ,,wens4--,take the yoke of some eggs1 beat up1 and add as much fine salt as will dissolve1 and apply a plaster to the wen every ten hours4 ,it cures without pain or any other inconvenience4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,cure ,,apoplexy1 ,,bad ,,breath ,,and ,,quinsy4 #a4 ,,apoplexy4--,apoplexy occurs only in the corpulent or obese1 and those of gross or high living4 ,treatment--,raise the head to a nearly upright position2 loosen all tight clothes1 strings1 etc41 and apply cold water to the head and warm water and warm cloths to the feet4 ,have the apartment cool and well ventilated4 ,give nothing by the mouth until the breathing is relieved1 and then only draughts of cold water4 #b4 ,,bad ,,breath4--,bad or foul breath will be removed by taking a teaspoonful of the following mixture after each meal3 ,one ounce chloride of soda1 one ounce liquor of potassa1 one and one-half ounces phosphate of soda1 and three ounces of water4 #c4 ,,quinsy4--,this is an inflammation of the tonsils1 or common inflammatory sore throat2 commences with a slight feverish attack1 with considerable pain and swelling of the tonsils1 causing some difficulty in swallowing2 as the attack advances1 these symptoms become more intense1 there is headache1 thirst1 a painful sense of tension1 and acute darting pains in the ears4 ,the attack is generally brought on by exposure to cold1 and lasts from five to seven days1 when it subsides naturally1 or an abscess may form in tonsils and burst1 or the tonsils may remain enlarged1 the inflammation subsiding4 ,home ,treatment4--,the patient should remain in a warm room1 the diet chiefly milk and good broths1 some cooling laxative and diaphoretic medicine may be given2 but the greatest relief will be found in the frequent inhalation of the steam of hot water through an inhaler1 or in the old-fashioned way through the spout of a teapot4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,sensible ,,rules ,,for ,,the ,,nurse4 ,remember to be extremely neat in dress2 a few drops of hartshorn in the water used for daily bathing will remove the disagreeable odors of warmth and perspiration4 ,never speak of the symptoms of your patient in his presence1 unless questioned by the doctor1 whose orders you are always to obey implicitly4 ,remember never to be a gossip or tattler1 and always to hold sacred the knowledge which1 to a certain extent1 you must obtain of the private affairs of your patient and the household in which you nurse4 ,never contradict your patient1 nor argue with him1 nor let him see that you are annoyed about anything4 ,never whisper in the sick room4 ,if your patient be well enough1 and wishes you to talk to him1 speak in a low1 distinct voice1 on cheerful subjects4 ,don't relate painful hospital experiences1 nor give details of the maladies of former patients1 and remember never to startle him with accounts of dreadful crimes or accidents that you have read in the newspapers4 ,write down the orders that the physician gives you as to time for giving the medicines1 food1 etc4 ,keep the room bright 7unless the doctor orders it darkened74 ,let the air of the room be as pure as possible1 and keep everything in order1 but without being fussy and bustling4 ,the only way to remove dust in a sick room is to wipe everything with a damp cloth4 ,remember to carry out all vessels covered4 ,empty and wash them immediately1 and keep some disinfectant in them4 ,remember that to leave the patient's untasted food by his side1 from meal to meal1 in hopes that he will eat it in the interval1 is simply to prevent him from taking any food at all4 ,medicines1 beef tea or stimulants1 should never be kept where the patient can see them or smell them4 ,light-colored clothing should be worn by those who have the care of the sick1 in preference to dark-colored apparel2 particularly if the disease is of a contagious nature4 ,experiments have shown that black and other dark colors will absorb more readily the subtle effluvia that emanates from sick persons than white or light colors4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,longevity4 ,the following table exhibits very recent mortality statistics1 showing the average duration of life among persons of various classes3 ,employment4 ,years4 ,judges #fe ,farmers #fd ,bank ,officers #fd ,coopers #eh ,public ,officers #eg ,clergymen #ef ,shipwrights #ee ,hatters #ed ,lawyers #ed ,rope ,makers #ed ,blacksmiths #ea ,merchants #ea ,calico ,printers #ea ,physicians #ea ,butchers #ej ,carpenters #di ,masons #dh ,traders #df ,tailors #dd ,jewelers #dd ,manufacturers #dc ,bakers #dc ,painters #dc ,shoemakers #dc ,mechanics #dc ,editors #dj ,musicians #ci ,printers #ch ,machinists #cf ,teachers #cd ,clerks #cd ,operatives #cb ,it will be easily seen1 by these figures1 how a quiet or tranquil life affects longevity4 ,the phlegmatic man will live longer1 all other things being equal1 than the sanguine1 nervous individual4 ,marriage is favorable to longevity1 and it has also been ascertained that women live longer than men4 ,illustration3 ,,hot ,,water ,,throat ,,bag4 ,illustration3 ,,hot ,,water ,,bag4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,apply ,,and ,,use ,,hot ,,water ,,in ,,all ,,diseases4 #a4 ,,the ,,hot ,,water ,,throat ,,bag4 ,the hot water throat bag is made from fine white rubber fastened to the head by a rubber band 7see illustration71 and is an unfailing remedy for catarrh1 hay fever1 cold1 toothache1 headache1 earache1 neuralgia1 etc4 #b4 ,,the ,,hot ,,water ,,bottle4 ,no well regulated house should be without a hot water bottle4 ,it is excellent in the application of hot water for inflammations1 colic1 headache1 congestion1 cold feet1 rheumatism1 sprains1 etc41 etc4 ,it is an excellent warming pan and an excellent feet and hand warmer when riding4 ,these hot water bags in any variety can be purchased at any drug store4 #c4 ,boiling water may be used in the bags and the heat will be retained many hours4 ,they are soft and pliable and pleasant to the touch1 and can be adjusted to any part of the body4 #d4 ,hot water is good for constipation1 torpid liver and relieves colic and flatulence1 and is of special value4 #e4 ,caution4 ,when hot water bags or any hot fomentation is removed1 replace dry flannel and bathe parts in tepid water and rub till dry4 #f4 ,by inflammations it is best to use hot water and then cold water4 ,it seems to give more immediate relief4 ,hot water is a much better remedy than drugs1 paragoric1 ,dover's powder or morphine4 ,always avoid the use of strong poisonous drugs when possible4 #g4 ,those who suffer from cold feet there is no better remedy than to bathe the feet in cold water before retiring and then place a hot water bottle in the bed at the feet4 ,a few weeks of such treatment results in relief if not cure of the most obstinate case4 ,,how ,,to ,,use ,,cold ,,water4 ,use a compress of cold water for acute or chronic inflammation1 such as sore throat1 bronchitis1 croup1 inflammation of the lungs1 etc4 ,if there is a hot and aching pain in the back apply a compress of cold water on the same1 or it may simply be placed across the back or around the body4 ,the most depends upon the condition of the patient4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,practical ,,rules ,,for ,,bathing4 #a4 ,bathe at least once a week all over1 thoroughly4 ,no one can preserve his health by neglecting personal cleanliness4 ,remember1 ,cleanliness is akin to ,godliness4 #b4 ,only mild soap should be used in bathing the body4 #c4 ,wipe quickly and dry the body thoroughly with a moderately coarse towel4 ,rub the skin vigorously4 #d4 ,many people have contracted severe and fatal diseases by neglecting to take proper care of the body after bathing4 #e4 ,if you get up a good reaction by thorough rubbing in a mild temperature1 the effect is always good4 #f4 ,never go into a cold room1 or allow cold air to enter the room until you are dressed4 #g4 ,bathing in cold rooms and in cold water is positively injurious1 unless the person possesses a very strong and vigorous constitution1 and then there is great danger of laying the foundation of some serious disease4 #h4 ,never bathe within two hours after eating4 ,it injures digestion4 #i4 ,never bathe when the body or mind is much exhausted4 ,it is liable to check the healthful circulation4 #aj4 ,a good time for bathing is just before retiring4 ,the morning hour is a good time also1 if a warm room and warm water can be secured4 #aa4 ,never bathe a fresh wound or broken skin with cold water2 the wound absorbs water1 and causes swelling and irritation4 #ab4 ,a person not robust should be very careful in bathing2 great care should be exercised to avoid any chilling effects4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,all ,,the ,,different ,,kinds ,,of ,,baths1 ,,and ,,how ,,to ,,prepare ,,them4 ,,the ,,sulphur ,,bath4 ,for the itch1 ringworm1 itching1 and for other slight irritations1 bathe in water containing a little sulphur4 ,,the ,,salt ,,bath4 ,to open the pores of the skin1 put a little common salt into the water4 ,borax1 baking soda or lime used in the same way are excellent for cooling and cleansing the skin4 ,a very small quantity in a bowl of water is sufficient4 ,,the ,,vapor ,,bath4 #a4 ,for catarrh1 bronchitis1 pleurisy1 inflammation of the lungs1 rheumatism1 fever1 affections of the bowels and kidneys1 and skin diseases1 the vapor-bath is an excellent remedy4 #b4 ,,apparatus4--,use a small alcohol lamp1 and place over it a small dish containing water4 ,light the lamp and allow the water to boil4 ,place a cane bottom chair over the lamp1 and seat the patient on it4 ,wrap blankets or quilts around the chair and around the patient1 closing it tightly about the neck4 ,after free perspiration is produced the patient should be wrapped in warm blankets1 and placed in bed1 so as to continue the perspiration for some time4 #c4 ,a convenient alcohol lamp may be made by taking a tin box1 placing a tube in it1 and putting in a common lamp wick4 ,any tinner can make one in a few minutes1 at a trifling cost4 ,,the ,,hot-,,air ,,bath4 #a4 ,place the alcohol lamp under the chair1 without the dish of water4 ,then place the patient on the chair1 as in the vapor bath1 and let him remain until a gentle and free perspiration is produced4 ,this bath may be taken from time to time1 as may be deemed necessary4 #b4 ,while remaining in the hot-air bath the patient may drink freely of cold or tepid water4 #c4 ,as soon as the bath is over the patient should be washed with hot water and soap4 #d4 ,the hot-air bath is excellent for colds1 skin diseases1 and the gout4 ,,the ,,sponge ,,bath4 #a4 ,have a large basin of water of the temperature of #he or #ie degrees4 ,as soon as the patient rises rub the body over with a soft1 dry towel until it becomes warm4 #b4 ,now sponge the body with water and a little soap1 at the same time keeping the body well covered1 except such portions as are necessarily exposed4 ,then dry the skin carefully with a soft1 warm towel4 ,rub the skin well for two or three minutes1 until every part becomes red and perfectly dry4 #c4 ,sulphur1 lime or salt1 and sometimes mustard1 may be used in any of the sponge baths1 according to the disease4 ,,the ,,foot ,,bath4 #a4 ,the foot bath1 in coughs1 colds1 asthma1 headaches and fevers1 is excellent4 ,one or two tablespoonfuls of ground mustard added to a gallon of hot water1 is very beneficial4 #b4 ,heat the water as hot as the patient can endure it1 and gradually increase the temperature by pouring in additional quantities of hot water during the bath4 ,,the ,,sitz ,,bath4 ,a tub is arranged so that the patient can sit down in it while bathing4 ,fill the tub about one-half full of water4 ,this is an excellent remedy for piles1 constipation1 headache1 gravel1 and for acute and inflammatory affections generally4 ,,the ,,acid ,,bath4 ,place a little vinegar in water1 and heat to the usual temperature4 ,this is an excellent remedy for the disorders of the liver4 ,a ,,sure ,,cure ,,for ,,prickly ,,heat4 #a4 ,prickly heat is caused by hot weather1 by excess of flesh1 by rough flannels1 by sudden changes of temperature1 or by over-fatigue4 #b4 ,,treatment--,bathe two or three times a day with warm water1 in which a moderate quantity of bran and common soda has been stirred4 ,after wiping the skin dry1 dust the affected parts with common cornstarch4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,digestibility ,,of ,,food4 ,,article ,,of ,,food2 ,,condition2 ,,hours ,,required ,rice2 ,boiled2 #a4jj ,eggs1 whipped2 ,raw2 #a4cj ,trout1 salmon1 fresh2 ,boiled2 #a4cj ,apples1 sweet and mellow2 ,raw2 #a4cj ,venison steak2 ,broiled2 #a4ce ,tapioca2 ,boiled2 #b4jj ,barley2 ,boiled2 #b4jj ,milk2 ,boiled2 #b4jj ,bullock's liver1 fresh2 ,broiled2 #b4jj ,fresh eggs2 ,raw2 #b4jj ,codfish1 cured and dry2 ,boiled2 #b4jj ,milk2 ,raw2 #b4ae ,wild turkey2 ,roasted2 #b4ae ,domestic turkey2 ,roasted2 #b4cj2 ,goose2 ,roasted2 #b4cj ,suckling pig2 ,roasted2 #b4cj ,fresh ,lamb2 ,broiled2 #b4cj ,hash1 meat and vegetables2 ,warmed2 #b4cj ,beans and pod2 ,boiled2 #b4cj ,parsnips2 ,boiled2 #b4cj ,irish potatoes2 ,roasted2 #b4cj ,chicken2 ,fricassee2 #b4de ,custard2 ,baked2 #b4de ,salt beef2 ,boiled2 #b4de ,sour and hard apples2 ,raw2 #b4ej ,fresh oysters2 ,raw2 #b4ee ,fresh eggs2 ,soft ,boiled2 #c4jj ,beef1 fresh1 lean and rare2 ,roasted2 #c4jj ,beef steak2 ,broiled2 #c4jj ,pork1 recently salted2 ,stewed2 #c4jj ,fresh mutton2 ,boiled2 #c4jj ,soup1 beans2 ,boiled2 #c4jj ,soup1 chicken2 ,boiled2 #c4jj ,apple dumpling2 ,boiled2 #c4jj ,fresh oysters2 ,roasted2 #c4ae ,pork steak2 ,broiled2 #c4ae ,fresh mutton2 ,roasted2 #c4ae ,corn bread2 ,baked2 #c4ae ,carrots2 ,boiled2 #c4ae ,fresh sausage2 ,broiled2 #c4bj ,fresh flounder2 ,fried2 #c4cj ,fresh catfish2 ,fried2 #c4cj ,fresh oysters2 ,stewed2 #c4cj ,butter2 ,melted2 #c4cj ,old1 strong cheese2 ,raw2 #c4cj ,mutton soup2 ,boiled2 #c4cj ,oyster soup2 ,boiled2 #c4cj ,fresh wheat bread2 ,baked2 #c4cj ,flat turnips2 ,boiled2 #c4cj ,irish potatoes2 ,boiled2 #c4cj ,fresh eggs2 ,hard boiled2 #c4cj ,fresh eggs2 ,fried2 #c4cj ,green corn and beans2 ,boiled2 #c4de ,beets1 ,boiled2 #c4de ,fresh1 lean beef2 ,fried2 #d4jj ,fresh veal2 ,broiled2 #d4jj ,domestic fowls2 ,roasted2 #d4jj ,ducks1 ,roasted2 #d4jj ,beef soup1 vegetables and bread ,boiled2 #d4jj ,pork1 recently salted2 ,boiled2 #d4cj ,fresh veal2 ,fried2 #d4cj ,cabbage1 with vinegar2 ,boiled2 #d4cj ,pork1 fat and lean2 ,roasted2 #e4cj 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,cook ,,for ,,the ,,sick4 ,useful ,dietetic ,recipes4 ,,gruels4 #a4 ,,oatmeal ,,gruel4--,stir two tablespoonfuls of coarse oatmeal into a quart of boiling water1 and let it simmer two hours4 ,strain1 if preferred4 #b4 ,,beef ,,tea ,,and ,,oatmeal4--,beat two tablespoonfuls of fine oatmeal1 with two tablespoonfuls of cold water until very smooth1 then add a pint of hot beef tea4 ,boil together six or eight minutes1 stirring constantly4 ,strain through a fine sieve4 #c4 ,,milk ,,gruel4--,into a pint of scalding milk stir two tablespoonfuls of fine oatmeal4 ,add a pint of boiling water1 and boil until the meal is thoroughly cooked4 #d4 ,,milk ,,porridge4--,place over the fire equal parts of milk and water4 ,just before it boils1 add a small quantity 7a tablespoonful to a pint of water7 of graham flour or cornmeal1 previously mixed with water1 and boil three minutes4 #e4 ,,sago ,,gruel4--,take two tablespoonfuls of sago and place them in a small saucepan1 moisten gradually with a little cold water4 ,set the preparation on a slow fire1 and keep stirring till it becomes rather stiff and clear4 ,add a little grated nutmeg and sugar to taste2 if preferred1 half a pat of butter may also be added with the sugar4 #f4 ,,cream ,,gruel4--,put a pint and a half of water on the stove in a saucepan4 ,take one tablespoon of flour and the same of cornmeal1 mix this with cold water1 and as soon as the water in the saucepan boils1 stir it in slowly4 ,let it boil slowly about twenty minutes1 stirring constantly then add a little salt and a gill of sweet cream4 ,do not let it boil after putting in the cream1 but turn into a bowl and cover tightly4 ,serve in a pretty cup and saucer4 ,,drinks4 #a4 ,,apple ,,water4--,cut two large apples into slices and pour a quart of boiling water on them1 or on roasted apples2 strain in two or three hours and sweeten slightly4 #b4 ,,orangeade4--,take the thin peel of two oranges and of one lemon2 add water and sugar the same as for hot lemonade4 ,when cold add the juice of four or five oranges and one lemon and strain off4 #c4 ,,hot ,,lemonade4--,take two thin slices and the juice of one lemon2 mix with two tablespoonfuls of granulated sugar1 and add one-half pint of boiling water4 #d4 ,,flaxseed ,,lemonade4--,two tablespoonfuls of whole flaxseed to a pint of boiling water1 let it steep three hours1 strain when cool and add the juice of two lemons and two tablespoonfuls of honey4 ,if too thick1 put in cold water4 ,splendid for colds and suppression of urine4 #e4 ,,jelly ,,water4--,sour jellies dissolved in water make a pleasant drink for fever patients4 #f4 ,,toast ,,water4--,toast several thin pieces of bread a slice deep brown1 but do not blacken or burn4 ,break into small pieces and put into a jar4 ,pour over the pieces a quart of boiling water2 cover the jar and let it stand an hour before using4 ,strain if desired4 #g4 ,,white ,,of ,,egg ,,and ,,milk4--,the white of an egg beaten to a stiff froth1 and stirred very quickly into a glass of milk1 is a very nourishing food for persons whose digestion is weak1 also for children who cannot digest milk alone4 #h4 ,,egg ,,cocoa4--,one-half teaspoon cocoa with enough hot water to make a paste4 ,take one egg1 beat white and yolk separately4 ,stir into a cup of milk heated to nearly boiling4 ,sweeten if desired4 ,very nourishing4 #i4 ,,egg ,,lemonade4--,white of one egg1 one tablespoonful pulverized sugar1 juice of one lemon and one goblet of water4 ,beat together4 ,very grateful in inflammation of of lungs1 stomach or bowels4 #aj4 ,,beef ,,tea4--,for every quart of tea desired use one pound of fresh beef1 from which all fat1 bones and sinews have been carefully removed2 cut the beef into pieces a quarter of an inch thick and mix with a pint of cold water4 ,let it stand an hour1 then pour into a glass fruit can and place in a vessel of water2 let it heat on the stove another hour1 but do not let it boil4 ,strain before using4 ,,jellies4 #a4 ,,sago ,,jelly4--,simmer gently in a pint of water two tablespoonfuls of sago until it thickens1 frequently stirring4 ,a little sugar may be added if desired4 #b4 ,,chicken ,,jelly4--,take half a raw chicken1 tie in a coarse cloth and pound1 till well mashed1 bones and meat together4 ,place the mass in a covered dish with water sufficient to cover it well4 ,allow it to simmer slowly till the liquor is reduced about one-half and the meat is thoroughly cooked4 ,press through a fine sieve or cloth1 and salt to taste4 ,place on the stove to simmer about five minutes ,when cold remove all particles of grease4 #c4 ,,mulled ,,jelly4--,take one tablespoonful of currant or grape jelly2 beat it with the white of one egg and a little loaf sugar2 pour on it one-half pint of boiling water and break in a slice of dry toast or two crackers4 #d4 ,,bread ,,jelly4--,pour boiling water over bread crumbs place the mixture on the fire and let it boil until it is perfectly smooth4 ,take it off1 and after pouring off the water1 flavor with something agreeable1 as a little raspberry or currant jelly water4 ,pour into a mold until required for use4 #e4 ,,lemon ,,jelly4--,moisten two tablespoonfuls of cornstarch1 stir into one pint boiling water2 add the juice of two lemons and one-half cup of sugar4 ,grate in a little of the rind4 ,put in molds to cool4 ,,miscellaneous4 #a4 ,,to ,,cook ,,rice4--,take two cups of rice and one and one-half pints of milk4 ,place in a covered dish and steam in a kettle of boiling water until it is cooked through1 pour into cups and let it stand until cold4 ,serve with cream4 #b4 ,,rice ,,omelet4--,two cups boiled rice1 one cup sweet milk1 two eggs4 ,stir together with egg beater1 and put into a hot buttered skillet4 ,cook slowly ten minutes1 stirring frequently4 #c4 ,,browned ,,rice4--,parch or brown rice slowly4 ,steep in milk for two hours4 ,the rice or the milk only is excellent in summer complaint4 #d4 ,,stewed ,,oysters4--,take one pint of milk1 one cup of water1 a teaspoon of salt2 when boiling put in one pint of bulk oysters4 ,stir occasionally and remove from the stove before it boils4 ,an oyster should not be shriveled in cooking4 #e4 ,,broiled ,,oysters4--,put large oysters on a wire toaster ,hold over hot coals until heated through4 ,serve on toast moistened with cream4 ,very grateful in convalescence4 #f4 ,,oyster ,,toast4--,pour stewed oysters over graham or bread toasted4 ,excellent for breakfast4 #g4 ,,graham ,,crisps4--,mix graham flour and cold water into a very stiff dough4 ,knead1 roll very thin1 and bake quickly in a hot oven4 ,excellent food for dyspeptics4 #h4 ,,apple ,,snow4--,take seven apples1 not very sweet ones1 and bake till soft and brown4 ,then remove the skins and cores2 when cool1 beat them smooth and fine2 add one-half cup of granulated sugar and the white of one egg4 ,beat till the mixture will hold on your spoon4 ,serve with soft custard4 #i4 ,,eggs ,,on ,,toast4--,soften brown bread toast with hot water1 put on a platter and cover with poached or scrambled eggs4 #aj4 ,,boiled ,,eggs4--,an egg should never be boiled4 ,place in boiling water and set back on the stove for from seven to ten minutes4 ,a little experience will enable anyone to do it successfully4 #aa4 ,,cracked ,,wheat ,,pudding4--,in a deep two-quart pudding dish put layers of cold1 cooked1 cracked wheat1 and tart apples sliced thin1 with four tablespoonfuls of sugar4 ,raisins can be added if preferred4 ,fill the dish1 having the wheat last1 add a cup of cold water4 ,bake two hours4 #ab4 ,,pie ,,for ,,dyspeptics4--,four tablespoonfuls of oatmeal1 one pint of water2 let stand for a few hours1 or until the meal is swelled4 ,then add two large apples1 pared and sliced1 a little salt1 one cup of sugar1 one tablespoonful of flour4 ,mix all well together and bake in a buttered dish2 makes a most delicious pie1 which can be eaten with safety by the sick or well4 #ac4 ,,apple ,,tapioca ,,pudding4--,soak a teacup of tapioca in a quart of warm water three hours4 ,cut in thin slices six tart apples1 stir them lightly with the tapioca1 add half cup sugar4 ,bake three hours4 ,to be eaten with whipped cream4 ,good either warm or cold4 #ad4 ,,graham ,,muffins4--,take one pint of new milk1 one pint graham or entire wheat flour2 stir together and add one beaten egg4 ,can be baked in any kind of gem pans or muffin rings4 ,salt must not be used with any bread that is made light with egg4 #ae4 ,,strawberry ,,dessert4--,place alternate layers of hot cooked cracked wheat and strawberries in a deep dish2 when cold1 turn out on platter2 cut in slices and serve with cream and sugar1 or strawberry juice4 ,wet the molds with cold water before using4 ,this1 molded in small cups1 makes a dainty dish for the sick4 ,wheatlet can be used in the same way4 #af4 ,,fruit ,,blanc ,,mange4--,one quart of juice of strawberries1 cherries1 grapes or other juicy fruit2 one cup water4 ,when boiling1 add two tablespoonfuls sugar and four tablespoonfuls cornstarch wet in cold water2 let boil five or six minutes1 then mold in small cups4 ,serve without sauce1 or with cream or boiled custard4 ,lemon juice can be used the same1 only requiring more water4 ,this is a very valuable dish for convalescents and pregnant women1 when the stomach rejects solid food4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,save ,,the ,,girls4 #a4 ,,public ,,balls4--,the church should turn its face like flint against the public ball4 ,its influence is evil1 and nothing but evil4 ,it is a well known fact that in all cities and large towns the ball room is the recruiting office for prostitution4 #b4 ,,thoughtless ,,young ,,women4--,in cities public balls are given every night1 and many thoughtless young women1 mostly the daughters of small tradesmen and mechanics1 or clerks or laborers1 are induced to attend just for fun4 ,scarcely one in a hundred of the girls attending these balls preserve their purity4 ,they meet the most desperate characters1 professional gamblers1 criminals and the lowest debauchees4 ,such an assembly and such influence cannot mean anything but ruin for an innocent girl4 #c4 ,,vile ,,women4--,the public ball is always a resort of vile women who picture to innocent girls the ease and luxury of a harlot's life1 and offer them all manner of temptations to abandon the paths of virtue4 ,the public ball is the resort of the libertine and the adulterer1 and whose object is to work the ruin of every innocent girl that may fall into their clutches4 #d4 ,,the ,,question4--,why does society wonder at the increase of prostitution1 when the public balls and promiscuous dancing is so largely endorsed and encouraged8 #e4 ,,working ,,girls4--,thousands of innocent working girls enter innocently and unsuspectingly into the paths which lead them to the house of evil1 or who wander the streets as miserable outcasts all through the influence of the dance4 ,the low theatre and dance halls and other places of unselected gatherings are the milestones which mark the working girl's downward path from virtue to vice1 from modesty to shame4 #f4 ,,the ,,saleswoman1 the seamstress1 the factory girl or any other virtuous girl had better1 far better1 die than take the first step in the path of impropriety and danger4 ,better1 a thousand times better1 better for this life1 better for the life to come1 an existence of humble1 virtuous industry than a single departure from virtue1 even though it were paid with a fortune4 #g4 ,,temptations4--,there is not a young girl but what is more or less tempted by some unprincipled wretch who may have the reputation of a genteel society man4 ,it behooves parents to guard carefully the morals of their daughters1 and be vigilant and cautious in permitting them to accept the society of young men4 ,parents who desire to save their daughters from a fate which is worse than death1 should endeavor by every means in their power to keep them from falling into traps cunningly devised by some cunning lover4 ,there are many good young men1 but not all are safe friends to an innocent1 confiding young girl4 #h4 ,,prostitution4--,some girls inherit their vicious tendency2 others fall because of misplaced affections2 many sin through a love of dress1 which is fostered by society and by the surroundings amidst which they may be placed2 many1 very many1 embrace a life of shame to escape poverty ,while each of these different phases of prostitution require a different remedy1 we need better men1 better women1 better laws and better protection for the young girls4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,russian ,,spinning ,,girl4 #i4 ,a ,,startling ,,fact4--,startling as it may seem to some1 it is a fact in our large cities that there are many girls raised by parents with no other aim than to make them harlots4 ,at a tender age they are sold by fathers and mothers into an existence which is worse than slavery itself4 ,it is not uncommon to see girls at the tender age of thirteen or fourteen--mere children--hardened courtesans1 lost to all sense of shame and decency4 ,they are reared in ignorance1 surrounded by demoralizing influences1 cut off from the blessings of church and ,sabbath school1 see nothing but licentiousness1 intemperance and crime4 ,these young girls are lost forever4 ,they are beyond the reach of the moralist or preacher and have no comprehension of modesty and purity4 ,virtue to them is a stranger1 and has been from the cradle4 #aj4 ,a ,,great ,,wrong4--,parents too poor to clothe themselves bring children into the world1 children for whom they have no bread1 consequently the girl easily falls a victim in early womanhood to the heartless libertine4 ,the boy with no other schooling but that of the streets soon masters all the qualifications for a professional criminal4 ,if there could be a law forbidding people to marry who have no visible means of supporting a family1 or if they should marry1 if their children could be taken from them and properly educated by the ,state1 it would cost the country less and be a great step in advancing our civilization4 #aa4 ,,the ,,first ,,step4--,thousands of fallen women could have been saved from lives of degradation and deaths of shame had they received more toleration and loving forgiveness in their first steps of error4 ,many women naturally pure and virtuous have fallen to the lowest depths because discarded by friends1 frowned upon by society1 and sneered at by the world1 after they had taken a single mis-step4 ,society forgives man1 but woman never4 #ab4 ,,in ,,the ,,beginning of every girl's downward career there is necessarily a hesitation4 ,she naturally ponders over what course to take1 dreading to meet friends and looking into the future with horror4 ,that moment is the vital turning point in her career2 a kind word of forgiveness1 a mother's embrace a father's welcome may save her4 ,the bloodhounds1 known as the seducer1 the libertine1 the procurer1 are upon her track2 she is trembling on the frightful brink of the abyss4 ,extend a helping hand and save her6 #ac4 ,,father1 if your daughter goes astray1 do not drive her from your home4 ,mother1 if your child errs1 do not close your heart against her4 ,sisters and brothers and friends1 do not force her into the pathway of shame1 but rather strive to win her back into the ,eden of virtue1 an in nine cases out of ten you will succeed4 #ad4 ,,society ,,evils4--,the dance1 the theater1 the wine-cup1 the race-course1 the idle frivolity and luxury of summer watering places1 all have a tendency to demoralize the young4 #ae4 ,,bad ,,society4--,much of our modern society admits libertines and seducers to the drawing-room1 while it excludes their helpless and degraded victims1 consequently it is not strange that there are skeletons in many closets1 matrimonial infelicity and wayward girls4 #af4 ',,know ,,thyself1' says ,dr4 ,saur1 is an important maxim for us all1 and especially is it true for girls4 ,all are born with the desire to become attractive girls especially want to grow up1 not only attractive1 but beautiful4 ,some girls think that bright eyes1 pretty hair and fine clothes alone make them beautiful4 ,this is not so4 ,real beauty depends upon good health1 good manners and a pure mind4 ,as the happiness of our girls depends upon their health1 it behoves us all to guide the girls in such a way as to bring forward the best of results4 #ag4 ,,there ,,is ,,no ,,one who stands so near the girl as the mother4 ,from early childhood she occupies the first place in the little one's confidence she laughs1 plays1 and corrects1 when necessary1 the faults of her darling4 ,she should be equally ready to guide in the important laws of life and health upon which rest her future4 ,teach your daughters that in all things the 'creative principle' has its source in life itself4 ,it originates from ,divine life1 and when they know that it may be consecrated to wise and useful purposes1 they are never apt to grow up with base thoughts or form bad habits4 ,their lives become a happiness to themselves and a blessing to humanity4 #ah4 ,,teach ,,wisely4--,teach your daughters that all life originates from a seed a germ4 ,knowing this law1 you need have no fears that base or unworthy thoughts of the reproductive function can ever enter their minds4 ,the growth1 development and ripening of human seed becomes a beautiful and sacred mystery4 ,the tree1 the rose and all plant life are equally as mysterious and beautiful in their reproductive life4 ,does not this alone prove to us1 conclusively1 that there is a ,divinity in the background governing1 controlling and influencing our lives8 ,nature has no secrets1 and why should we8 ,none at all4 ,the only care we should experience is in teaching wisely4 ,yes lead them wisely teach them that the seed1 the germ of a new life1 is maturing within them4 ,teach them that between the ages of eleven and fourteen this maturing process has certain physical signs4 ,the breasts grow round and full1 the whole body1 even the voice1 undergoes a change4 ,it is right that they should be taught the natural law of life in reproduction and the physiological structure of their being4 ,again we repeat that these lessons should be taught by the mother1 and in a tender1 delicate and confidential way4 ,become1 oh1 mother1 your daughter's companion1 and she will not go elsewhere for this knowledge which must come to all in time1 but possibly too late and through sources that would prove more harm than good4 #ai4 ,,the ,,organs ,,of ,,creative ,,life in women are3 ,ovaries1 ,fallopian tubes1 uterus1 vagina and mammary glands4 ,the ovaries and ,fallopian tubes have already been described under ,the ,female ,generative ,organs4 ,the uterus is a pear-shaped muscular organ1 situated in the lower portion of the pelvis1 between the bladder and the rectum4 ,it is less than three inches in length and two inches in width and one in thickness4 ,the vagina is a membranous canal which joins the internal outlet with the womb1 which projects slightly into it4 ,the opening into the vagina is nearly oval1 and in those who have never indulged in sexual intercourse or in handling the sexual organs is more or less closed by a membrane termed the hymen4 ,the presence of this membrane was formerly considered as undoubted evidence of virginity2 its absence1 a lack of chastity4 ,the mammary glands are accessory to the generative organs4 ,they secrete milk1 which the ,all-wise ,gatherer provided for the nourishment of the child after birth4 #bj4 ,,menstruation1 which appears about the age of thirteen years1 is the flow from the uterus that occurs every month as the seed-germ ripens in the ovaries4 ,god made the sexual organs so that the race should not die out4 ,he gave them to us so that we may reproduce life1 and thus fill the highest position in the created universe4 ,the purpose for which they are made is high and holy and honorable1 and if they are used only for this purpose and they must not be used at all until they are fully matured they will be a source of greatest blessing to us all4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,two ,,paths--,,what ,,will ,,the ,,girl ,,become8 ,,at #ac3 ,,bad ,,literature ,,at #bj3 ,,flirting ,,coquettery ,,at #bf3 ,,fast ,,life ,,dissipation ,,at #dj3 ,,an ,,outcast ,,at #ac3 ,,study ,,obedience ,,at #bj3 ,,virtue ,,devotion ,,at #bf3 ,a ,,loving ,,mother ,,at #fj3 ,,an ,,honored ,,grandmother #ba4 ,a ,,careful ,,study of this organ1 of its location1 of its arteries and nerves1 will convince the growing girl that her body should never submit to corsets and tight lacing in response to the demands of fashion1 even though nature has so bountifully provided for the safety of this important organ4 ,by constant pressure the vagina and womb may be compressed into one-third their natural length or crowded into an unnatural position4 ,we can readily see1 then1 the effect of lacing or tight clothing4 ,under these circumstances the ligaments lose their elasticity1 and as a result we have prolapsus or falling of the womb4 #bb4 ,i ,,am ,,more ,,anxious for growing girls than for any other earthly object4 ,these girls are to be the mothers of future generations2 upon them hangs the destiny of the world in coming time1 and if they can be made to understand what is right and what is wrong with regard to their own bodies now1 while they are young1 the children they will give birth to and the men and women who shall call them mother will be of a higher type and belong to a nobler class than those of the present day4 #bc4 ,,all ,,women ,,cannot have good features1 but they can look well1 and it is possible to a great extent to correct deformity and develop much of the figure4 ,the first step to good looks is good health1 and the first element of health is cleanliness4 ,keep clean wash freely1 bathe regularly4 ,all the skin wants is leave to act1 and it takes care of itself4 #bd4 ,,girls ,,sometimes ,,get ,,the ,,idea that it is nice to be 'weak' and 'delicate1' but they cannot get a more false idea6 ,god meant women to be strong and able-bodied1 and only by being so can they be happy and capable of imparting happiness to others4 ,it is only by being strong and healthy that they can be perfect in their sexual nature2 and ,it is only by being perfect in this part of their being that you can become a noble1 grand and beautiful woman4 #be4 ,,up ,,to ,,the ,,age of puberty1 if the girl has grown naturally1 waist1 hips and shoulders are about the same in width1 the shoulders being1 perhaps1 a trifle the broadest4 ,up to this time the sexual organs have grown but little4 ,now they take a sudden start and need more room4 ,nature aids the girls2 the tissues and muscles increase in size and the pelvis bones enlarge4 ,the limbs grow plump1 the girl stops growing tall and becomes round and full4 ,unsuspected strength comes to her2 tasks that were once hard to perform are now easy2 her voice becomes sweeter and stronger4 ,the mind develops more rapidly even than the body2 her brain is more active and quicker2 subjects that once were dull and dry have unwonted interest2 lessons are more easily learned2 the eyes sparkle with intelligence1 indicating increased mental power2 her manner denotes the consciousness of new power2 toys of childhood are laid away2 womanly thoughts and pursuits fill her mind2 budding childhood has become blooming womanhood4 ,now1 if ever1 must be laid the foundation of physical vigor and of a healthy body4 ,girls should realize the significance of this fact4 ,do not get the idea that men admire a weakly1 puny1 delicate1 small-waisted1 languid1 doll-like creature1 a libel on true womanhood4 ,girls admire men with broad chests1 square shoulders1 erect form1 keen bright eyes1 hard muscles and undoubted vigor4 ,men also turn naturally to healthy1 robust1 well-developed girls1 and to win their admiration girls must meet their ideals4 ,a good form1 a sound mind and a healthy body are within the reach of nine out of ten of our girls by proper care and training4 ,physical bankruptcy may claim the same proportion if care and training are neglected4 #bf4 ,a ,,woman ,,five ,,feet ,,tall should measure two feet around the waist and thirty-three inches around the hips4 ,a waist less than this proportion indicates compression either by lacing or tight clothing4 ,exercise in the open air1 take long walks and vigorous exercise1 using care not to overdo it4 ,housework will prove a panacea for many of the ills which flesh is heir to4 ,one hour's exercise at the wash-tub is of far more value1 from a physical standpoint1 than hours at the piano4 ,boating is most excellent exercise and within the reach of many4 ,care in dressing is also important1 and1 fortunately1 fashion is coming to the rescue here4 ,it is essential that no garments be suspended from the waist4 ,let the shoulders bear the weight of all the clothing1 so that the organs of the body may be left free and unimpeded4 #bg4 ,,sleep ,,should ,,be ,,had regularly and abundantly4 ,avoid late hours1 undue excitement1 evil associations2 partake of plain1 nutritious food1 and health will be your reward4 ,there is one way of destroying health1 which1 fortunately1 is not as common among girls as boys1 and which must be mentioned ere this chapter closes4 ,self-abuse is practised among growing girls to such an extent as to arouse serious alarm4 ,many a girl has been led to handle and play with her sexual organs through the advice of some girl who has obtained temporary pleasure in that way2 or1 perchance1 chafing has been followed by rubbing until the organs have become congested with blood1 and in this accidental manner the girl discovered what seems to her a source of pleasure1 but which1 alas1 is a source of misery1 and even death4 #bh4 ,,as ,,in ,,the ,,boy1 ,,so ,,in ,,the ,,girl1 self-abuse causes an undue amount of blood to flow to those organs1 thus depriving other parts of the body of its nourishment1 the weakest part first showing the effect of want of sustenance4 ,all that has been said upon this loathsome subject in the preceding chapter for boys might well be repeated here1 but space forbids4 ,read that chapter again1 and know that the same signs that betray the boy will make known the girl addicted to the vice4 ,the bloodless lips1 the dull1 heavy eye surrounded with dark rings1 the nerveless hand1 the blanched cheek1 the short breath1 the old1 faded look1 the weakened memory and silly irritability tell the story all too plainly4 ,the same evil result follows1 ending perhaps in death1 or worse1 in insanity4 ,aside from the injury the girl does herself by yielding to this habit1 there is one other reason which appeals to the conscience1 and that is1 self-abuse is an offence against moral law it is putting to a vile1 selfish use the organs which were given for a high1 sacred purpose4 #bi4 ,,let ,,them ,,alone1 except to care for them when care is needed1 and they may prove the greatest blessing you have ever known4 ,they were given you that you might become a mother1 the highest office to which ,god has ever called one of ,his creatures4 ,do not debase yourself and become lower than the beasts of the field4 ,if this habit has fastened itself upon any one of our readers1 stop it now4 ,do not allow yourself to think about it1 give up all evil associations1 seek pure companions1 and go to your mother1 older sister1 or physician for advice4 #cj4 ,,and ,,you1 ,,mother1 knowing the danger that besets your daughters at this critical period1 are you justified in keeping silent8 ,can you be held guiltless if your daughter ruins body and mind because you were too modest to tell her the laws of her being8 ,there is no love that is dearer to your daughter than yours1 no advice that is more respected than yours1 no one whose warning would be more potent4 ,fail not in your duty4 ,as motherhood has been your sweetest joy1 so help your daughter to make it hers4 ,illustration3 ,,young ,,garfield ,,driving ,,team ,,on ,,the ,,canal4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,save ,,the ,,boys4 ,,plain ,,words ,,to ,,parents4 #a4 ,with a shy look1 approaching his mother when she was alone1 the boy of fifteen said1 ,there are some things ,i want to ask you4 ,i hear the boys speak of them at school1 and ,i don't understand1 and a fellow doesn't like to ask any one but his mother4 #b4 ,drawing him down to her1 in the darkness that was closing about them1 the mother spoke to her son and the son to his mother freely of things which everybody must know sooner or later1 and which no boy should learn from anyone but his mother or father4 #c4 ,if you do not answer such a natural question your boy will turn for answer to others1 and learn things1 perhaps1 which your cheeks may well blush to have him know4 #d4 ,our boys and girls are growing faster than we think4 ,the world moves2 we can no longer put off our children with the old nurses' tales2 even ,mac,donald's beautiful statement1 ,out of the everywhere into the there1 does not satisfy them when they reverse his question and ask1 ,where did ,i come from8 #e4 ,they must be answered4 ,if we put them off1 they may be tempted to go elsewhere for information1 and hear half-truths1 or whole truths so distorted1 so mingled with what is low and impure that1 struggle against it as they may in later years1 their minds will always retain these early impressions4 #f4 ,it is not so hard if you begin early4 ,the very flowers are object lessons4 ,the wonderful mystery of life is wrapped in one flower1 with its stamens1 pistils and ovaries4 ,every child knows how an egg came in the nest1 and takes it as a matter of course2 why not go one step farther with them and teach the wonder1 the beauty1 the holiness that surrounds maternity anywhere8 ,why1 centuries ago the ,romans honored1 and taught their boys to honor1 the women in whose safety was bound up the future of their existence as a nation6 ,why should we do less8 #g4 ,your sons and mine1 your daughters and mine1 need to be wisely taught and guarded just along these lines1 if your sons and mine1 your daughters and mine1 are to grow up into a pure1 healthy1 ,christian manhood and womanhood4 ,illustration #h4;,footnote3 ,this quotation is an appeal to mothers by ,mrs4 ,p4,b4 ,saur1 ,m4,d4 ,how grand is the boy who has kept himself undefiled6 ,his complexion clear1 his muscles firm1 his movements vigorous1 his manner frank1 his courage undaunted1 his brain active1 his will firm1 his self-control perfect1 his body and mind unfolding day by day4 ,his life should be one song of praise and thanksgiving4 ,if you want your boy to be such a one1 train him1 my dear woman1 to-day1 and his to-morrow will take care of itself4 #i4 ,think you that good seed sown will bring forth bitter fruit8 ,a thousand times1 ,no6 ,as we sow1 so shall we reap4 ,train your boys in morality1 temperance and virtue4 ,teach them to embrace good and shun evil4 ,teach them the true from the false2 the light from the dark4 ,teach them that when they take a thing that is not their own1 they commit a sin4 ,teach them that sin means disobedience of ,god's laws of every kind4 #aj4 ,god made every organ of our body with the intention that it should perform a certain work4 ,if we wish to see1 we use our eyes2 if we want to hear1 our ears are called into use4 ,in fact1 nature teaches us the proper use of all our organs4 ,i say to you1 mother1 and oh1 so earnestly3 ',go teach your boy that which you may never be ashamed to do1 about these organs that make him specially a boy4' #aa4 ,teach him they are called sexual organs2 that they are not impure1 but of special importance1 and made by ,god for a definite purpose4 ,teach him that there are impurities taken from the system in fluid form called urine1 and that it passes through the sexual organs1 but that nature takes care of that4 ,teach him that these organs are given as a sacred trust1 that in maturer years he may be the means of giving life to those who shall live forever4 #ab4 ,impress upon him that if these organs are abused1 or if they are put to any use besides that for which ,god made them and ,he did not intend they should be used at all until man is fully grown they will bring disease and ruin upon those who abuse and disobey the laws which ,god has made to govern them4 ,if he has ever learned to handle his sexual organs1 or to touch them in any way except to keep them clean1 not to do it again4 ,if he does he will not grow up happy1 healthy and strong4 #ac4 ,teach him that when he handles or excites the sexual organs all parts of the body suffer1 because they are connected by nerves that run throughout the system2 this is why it is called 'self-abuse4' ,the whole body is abused when this part of the body is handled or excited in any manner whatever4 ,teach them to shun all children who indulge in this loathsome habit1 or all children who talk about these things4 ,the sin is terrible1 and is1 in fact1 worse than lying or stealing4 ,for1 although these are wicked and will ruin their souls1 yet this habit of self-abuse will ruin both soul and body4 #ad4 ,if the sexual organs are handled1 it brings too much blood to these parts1 and this produces a diseased condition2 it also causes disease in other organs of the body1 because they are left with a less amount of blood than they ought to have4 ,the sexual organs1 too1 are very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the nerves1 and if they are handled1 or if you keep thinking about them1 these nerves get excited and become exhausted1 and this makes the back ache1 the brain heavy and the whole body weak4 #ae4 ,it lays the foundation for consumption1 paralysis and heart disease4 ,it weakens the memory1 makes a boy careless1 negligent and listless4 ,it even makes many lose their minds2 others1 when grown1 commit suicide4 ,how often mothers see their little boys handling themselves1 and let it pass1 because they think the boy will outgrow the habit1 and do not realize the strong hold it has upon them4 ,i say to you who love your boys ',watch6' #af4 ,don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not suffer now1 for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done himself harm4 ,the boy with no knowledge of the consequences1 and with no one to warn him1 finds momentary pleasure in its practice1 and so contracts a habit which grows upon him1 undermining his health1 poisoning his mind1 arresting his development1 and laying the foundation for future misery4 #ag4 ,do not read this book and forget it1 for it contains earnest and living truths4 ,do not let false modesty stand in your way1 but from this time on keep this thought in mind 'the saving of your boy4' ,follow its teachings and you will bless ,god as long as you live4 ,read it to your neighbors1 who1 like yourself1 have growing boys1 and urge them for the sake of humanity to heed its advice4 #ah4 ,right here we want to emphasize the importance of cleanliness4 ,we verily believe that oftentimes these habits originate in a burning and irritating sensation about the organs1 caused by a want of thorough washing4 #ai4 ,it is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate the custom of circumcision1 claiming that the removal of a little of the foreskin induces cleanliness1 thus preventing the irritation and excitement which come from the gathering of the whiteish matter under the foreskin at the beginning of the glands4 ,this irritation being removed1 the boy is less apt to tamper with his sexual organs4 ,the argument seems a good one1 especially when we call to mind the high physical state of those people who have practiced the custom4 #bj4 ,happy is the mother who can feel she has done her duty1 in this direction1 while her boy is still a child4 ,for those mothers1 though1 whose little boys have now grown to boyhood with the evil still upon them1 and you1 through ignorance1 permitted it1 we would say1 ',begin at once2 it is never too late4' ,if he has not lost all will power1 he can be saved4 ,let him go in confidence to a reputable physician and follow his advice4 ,simple diet1 plentiful exercise in open air and congenial employment will do much4 ,do not let the mind dwell upon evil thoughts1 shun evil companions1 avoid vulgar stories1 sensational novels1 and keep the thoughts pure4 #ba4 ,let him interest himself in social and benevolent affairs1 participate in ,sunday-school work1 farmers' clubs1 or any organizations which tend to elevate and inspire noble sentiment4 ,let us remember that 'a perfect man is the noblest work of ,god4' ,god has given us a life which is to last forever1 and the little time we spend on earth is as nothing to the ages which we are to spend in the world beyond2 so our earthly life is a very important part of our existence1 for it is here that the foundation is laid for either happiness or misery in the future4 ,it is here that we decide our destiny1 and our efforts to know and obey ,god's laws in our bodies as well as in our souls will not only bring blessings to us in this life1 but never-ending happiness throughout eternity4 #bb4 ,a ,,question4 ,how can a father chew and smoke tobacco1 drink and swear1 use vulgar language1 tell obscene stories1 and raise a family of pure1 clean-minded children8 ,,let ,,the ,,echo ,,answer4 ,illustration3 ,,suffer ,,little ,,children1 ,,and ,,forbid ,,them ,,not1 ,,to ,,come ,,unto ,,me3 ,,for ,,of ,,such ,,is ,,the ,,kingdom ,,of ,,heaven---,,matt4 #ai3ad 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,inhumanities ,,of ,,parents4 #a4 ,not long ago a ,presbyterian minister in ,western ,new ,york whipped his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers4 ,the little fingers were broken2 the tender flesh was bruised and actually mangled2 strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body4 ,think of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in weight1 pouncing upon a little child1 like a ,tiger upon a ,lamb1 and with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues of a child's body4 ,see its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear4 #b4 ,how often is this the case in the punishment of children all over this broad land6 ,death is not often the immediate consequence of this brutality as in the above stated case1 but the punishment is often as unjust1 and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and the mind by fright seriously injured4 #c4 ,everyone knows the sudden sense of pain1 and sometimes dizziness and nausea follow1 as the results of an accidental hitting of the ankle1 knee or elbow against a hard substance1 and involuntary tears are brought to the eyes2 but what is such a pain as this compared with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion8 ,add to this overwhelming terror of fright1 the strangulating effects of sighing and shrieking1 and you have a complete picture of child-torture4 #d4 ,who has not often seen a child receive1 within an hour or two of the first whipping1 a second one1 for some small ebullition of nervous irritability1 which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn condition8 #e4 ,would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who1 as things are to-day1 should propose the substitution of pricking or cutting or burning for whipping8 ,it would1 however1 be easy to show that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows many children receive4 ,why may not lying be as legitimately cured by blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with a ruler or whip8 ,the principle is the same2 and if the principle is right1 why not multiply methods8 #f4 ,how many loving mothers will1 without any thought of cruelty1 inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child and when she could no more take a pin and make the same number of thrusts into the tender flesh1 than she could bind the baby on a rack4 ,yet the pin-thrust would hurt far less1 and would probably make a deeper impression on the child's mind4 ,illustration #g4 ,we do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition by the parents4 ,children can soon be made to understand the necessity of obedience1 and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching them self-denial4 ,deny them the use of a certain plaything1 deny them the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends1 deny them the privilege of the table1 etc41 and these self-denials can be applied according to the age and condition of the child1 with firmness and without any yielding4 ,children will soon learn obedience if they see the parents are sincere4 ,lessons of home government can be learned by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school4 #h4 ,the trouble is1 many parents need more government1 more training and more discipline than the little ones under their control4 #i4 ,scores of times during the day a child is told in a short1 authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things1 which we ask at the hands of elder persons as favors4 ,when we speak to an elder person1 we say1 would you be so kind as to close the door1 when the same person making the request of a child will say1 ,shut the door4 ,bring me the chair4 ,stop that noise4 ,sit down there4 ,whereas1 if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon learn to imitate the example4 #aj4 ,on the other hand1 let a child ask for anything without saying please1 receive anything without saying thank you1 it suffers a rebuke and a look of scorn at once4 ,often a child insists on having a book1 chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder1 and what an outcry is raised3 ,such rudeness2 ,such an ill-mannered child2 ,his parents must have neglected him strangely4 ,not at all3 ,the parents may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not to do these precise things which you dislike4 ,but they themselves have been all the time doing those very things before him1 and there is no proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old one which weighs example over against precept4 #aa4 ,it is a bad policy to be rude to children4 ,a child will win and be won1 and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better manners than its parents4 ,give them a good example and take pains in teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety1 and there will be little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved children4 #ab4 ,never correct a child in the presence of others2 it is a rudeness to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect4 ,it is the way criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned4 #ac4 ,but there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve if we do this to the little children whom we have dared for our own pleasure to bring into the perils of this life1 and whose whole future may be blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands4 ,there are thousands of young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens of life1 who owe their misfortunes1 their shipwreck and ruin to the ignorance or indifference of parents4 #ad4 ,parents of course love their children1 but with that love there is a responsibility that cannot be shirked4 ,the government and training of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention often much more than the claims of business4 #ae4 ,parents1 study the problems that come up every day in your home4 ,remember1 your future happiness1 and the future welfare of your children1 depend upon it4 #af4 ,,criminals ,,and ,,heredity4 ,wm4 ,m4,f4 ,round was for many years in charge of the ,house of ,refuge on ,randall's ,island1 ,new ,york1 and his opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely make him a competent judge1 and he says in his letter to the ,new ,york ,observer3 ,among this large number of young offenders ,i can state with entire confidence that not one per cent4 were children born of criminal parents2 and with equal confidence ,i am able to say that the common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training1 in bad companionship1 and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil associations and influences4 ,it was this knowledge that led to the establishing of the ,house of ,refuge nearly three-quarters of a century ago4 #ag4 ,,bad ,,training4 ,thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in the ,united ,states that criminals are made either by the indifference or the neglect of parents1 or both1 or by too much training without proper judgment and knowledge4 ,give your children a good example1 and never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to whether they do it or not4 ,a child should never be told twice to do the same thing4 ,teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary from that rule4 ,do it kindly but firmly4 #ah4 ,,if ,,your ,,children ,,do ,,not ,,obey ,,or ,,respect ,,you in their childhood and youth1 how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their character for future usefulness and good citizenship8 #ai4 ,,the ,,fundamental ,,rule4 ,never tell a child twice to do the same thing4 ,command the respect of your children1 and there will be no question as to obedience4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,chastity ,,and ,,purity ,,of ,,character4 ,illustration #a4 ,,chastity is the purest and brightest jewel in human character4 ,dr4 ,pierce in his widely known ,medical ,adviser says3 ,for the full and perfect development of mankind1 both mental and physical1 chastity is necessary4 ,the health demands abstinence from unlawful intercourse4 ,therefore children should be instructed to avoid all impure works of fiction1 which tend to inflame the mind and excite the passions4 ,only in total abstinence from illicit pleasures is there safety1 morals1 and health1 while integrity1 peace and happiness are the conscious rewards of virtue4 ,impurity travels downward with intemperance1 obscenity and corrupting diseases1 to degradation and death4 ,a dissolute1 licentious1 free-and-easy life is filled with the dregs of human suffering1 iniquity and despair4 ,the penalties which follow a violation of the law of chastity are found to be severe and swiftly retributive4 #b4 ,,the ,,union of the sexes in holy ,matrimony is a law of nature1 finding sanction in both morals and legislation4 ,even some of the lower animals unite in this union for life and instinctively observe the law of conjugal fidelity with a consistency which might put to blush other animals more highly endowed4 ,it seems important to discuss this subject and understand our social evils1 as well as the intense passional desires of the sexes1 which must be controlled1 or they lead to ruin4 #c4 ,,sexual ,,propensities are possessed by all1 and these must be held in abeyance1 until they are needed for legitimate purposes4 ,hence parents ought to understand the value to their children of mental and physical labor1 to elevate and strengthen the intellectual and moral faculties1 to develop the muscular system and direct the energies of the blood into healthful channels4 ,vigorous employment of mind and body engrosses the vital energies and diverts them from undue excitement of the sexual desires4 ,give your young people plenty of outdoor amusement2 less of dancing and more of croquet and lawn tennis4 ,stimulate the methods of pure thoughts in innocent amusement1 and your sons and daughters will mature to manhood and womanhood pure and chaste in character4 #d4 ,,ignorance ,,does ,,not ,,mean ,,innocence4--,it is a current idea1 especially among our good common people1 that the child should be kept in ignorance regarding the mystery of his own body and how he was created or came into the world4 ,this is a great mistake4 ,parents must know that the sources of social impurity are great1 and the child is a hundred times more liable to have his young mind poisoned if entirely ignorant of the functions of his nature than if judiciously enlightened on these important truths by the parent4 ,the parent must give him weapons of defense against the putrid corruption he is sure to meet outside the parental roof4 ,the child cannot get through the ,a1 ,b1 ,c period of school without it4 #e4 ,,conflicting ,,views4--,there is a great difference of opinion regarding the age at which the child should be taught the mysteries of nature3 some maintain that he cannot comprehend the subject before the age of puberty2 others say they will find it out soon enough1 it is not best to have them over-wise while they are so young4 ,wait a while4 ,that is just the point 7they will find it out71 and we ask in all candor1 is it not better that they learn it from the pure loving mother1 untarnished from any insinuating remark1 than that they should learn it from some foul-mouthed libertine on the street1 or some giddy girl at school8 ,mothers6 fathers6 which think you is the most sensible and fraught with the least danger to your darling boy or girl8 #f4 ,,delay ,,is ,,fraught ,,with ,,danger4--,knowledge on a subject so vitally connected with moral health must not be deferred4 ,it is safe to say that no child1 no boy at least in these days of excitement and unrest1 reaches the age of ten years without getting some idea of nature's laws regarding parenthood4 ,and ninety-nine chances to one1 those ideas will be vile and pernicious unless they come from a wise1 loving and pure parent4 ,now1 we entreat you1 parents1 mothers6 do not wait2 begin before a false notion has had chance to find lodgment in the childish mind4 ,but remember this is a lesson of life1 it cannot be told in one chapter1 it is as important as the lessons of love and duty4 #g4 ,,the ,,first ,,lessons4--,should you be asked by your four or five-year old1 ,mamma1 where did you get me8 ,instead of saying1 ,the doctor brought you1 or ,god made you and a stork brought you from ,babyland on his back1 tell him the truth as you would about any ordinary question4 ,one mother's explanation was something like this3 ,my dear1 you were not made any more than apples are made1 or the little chickens are made4 ,your dolly was made1 but it has no life like you have4 ,god has provided that all living things such as plants1 trees1 little chickens1 little kittens1 little babies1 etc41 should grow from seeds or little tiny eggs4 ,apples grow1 little chickens grow1 little babies grow4 ,apple and peach trees grow from seeds that are planted in the ground1 and the apples and peaches grow on the trees4 ,baby chickens grow inside the eggs that are kept warm by the mother hen for a certain time4 ,baby boys and girls do not grow inside an egg1 but they start to grow inside of a snug warm nest1 from an egg that is so small you cannot see it with just your eye4 ,this was not given at once1 but from time to time as the child asked questions and in the simplest language1 with many illustrations from plant and animal life4 ,it may have occupied months1 but in time the lesson was fully understood4 #h4 ,,the ,,second ,,lesson4--,the second lesson came with the question1 ,but where is the nest8 ,the ice is now broken1 as it were2 it was an easy matter for the mother to say1 ,the nest in which you grew1 dear1 was close to your mother's heart inside her body4 ,all things that do not grow inside the egg itself1 and which are kept warm by the mother's body1 begin to grow from the egg in a nest inside the mother's body4 ,it may be that this mother had access to illustrations of the babe in the womb which were shown and explained to the child1 a boy4 ,he was pleased and satisfied with the explanations4 ,it meant nothing out of the ordinary any more than a primary lesson on the circulatory system did1 it was knowledge on nature in its purity and simplicity taught by mother1 and hence caused no surprise4 ,the subject of the male and female generative organs came later2 the greatest pains and care was taken to make it clear1 the little boy was taught that the sexual organs were made for a high and holy purpose1 that their office at present is only to carry off impurities from the system in the fluid form called urine1 and that he must never handle his sexual organs nor touch them in any way except to keep them clean1 and if he does this1 he will grow up a bright1 happy and healthy boy4 ,but if he excites or abuses them1 he will become puny1 sickly and unhappy4 ,all this was explained in language pure and simple4 ,there is now in the boy a sturdy base of character building along the line of virtue and purity through knowledge4 #i4 ,,silly ,,dirty ,,trash4--,but ,i hear some mother say ,such silly dirty trash to tell a child6 ,it is not dirty nor silly2 it is nature's untarnished truth4 ,god has ordained that children should thus be brought into the world1 do you call the works of ,god silly8 ,remember1 kind mother1 and don't forget it1 if you fail to teach your children1 boys or girls1 these important lessons early in life1 they will learn them from other sources1 perhaps long ere you dream of it1 and ninety-nine times out of one hundred they will get improper1 perverted1 impure and vile ideas of these important truths2 besides you nave lost their confidence and you will never regain it in these matters4 ,they will never come to mamma for information on these subjects4 ,and1 think you1 that your son and daughter1 later in life will make you their confidant as they ought8 ,will your beautiful daughter hand the first letters she receives from her lover to mamma to read1 and seek her counsel and advice when she replies to them8 ,will she ask mamma whether it is ever proper to sit in her lover's lap8 ,i think not2 you have blighted her confidence and alienated her affections4 ,you have kept knowledge from her that she had a right to know2 you even failed to teach her the important truths of menstruation4 ,troubled and excited at the first menstrual flow1 she dashed her feet in cold water hoping to stop the flow4 ,you know the results she is now twenty-five but is suffering from it to this day4 ,you1 her mother1 over fastidious1 so very nice you would never mention such silly trash but by your consummate foolishness and mock modesty you have ruined your daughter's health1 and though in later years she may forgive you1 yet she can never love and respect you as she ought4 #aj4 ,,knowledge ,,the ,,preserver ,,of ,,purity4--,laura ,e4 ,scammon1 writing on this subject1 in the ,arena of ,november1 #ahic1 says3 ,when questions arise that can not be answered by observation1 reply to each as simply and directly as you answer questions upon other subjects1 giving scientific names and facts1 and such explanations as are suited to the comprehension of the child4 ,treat nature and her laws always with serious1 respectful attention4 ,treat the holy mysteries of parenthood reverently1 never losing sight of the great law upon which are founded all others the law of love4 ,say it and sing it1 play it and pray it into the soul of your child1 that love is lord of all4 #aa4 ,,conclusion ,,of ,,the ,,whole ,,matter4--,observation and common sense should teach every parent that lack of knowledge on these subjects and proper counsel and advice in later years is the main cause of so many charming girls being seduced and led astray1 and so many bright promising boys wrecked by self-abuse or social impurity4 ,make your children your confidants early in life1 especially in these things1 have frequent talks with them on nature1 and you will never1 other things being equal1 mourn over a ruined daughter or a wreckless1 debased son4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,exciting ,,the ,,passions ,,in ,,children4 #a4 ,,conversation ,,before ,,children4--,the conduct and conversation of adults before children and youth1 how often have ,i blushed with shame1 and kindled with indignation at the conversation of parents1 and especially of mothers1 to their children3 ,john1 go and kiss ,harriet1 for she is your sweet-heart4 ,well may shame make him hesitate and hang his head4 ,why1 ,john1 ,i did not think you so great a coward4 ,afraid of the girls1 are you8 ,that will never do4 ,come1 go along1 and hug and kiss her4 ,there1 that's a man4 ,i guess you will love the girls yet4 ,continually is he teased about the girls and being in love1 till he really selects a sweet-heart4 #b4 ,,the ,,loss ,,of ,,maiden ,,purity ,,and ,,natural ,,delicacy4--,i will not lift the veil1 nor expose the conduct of children among themselves4 ,and all this because adults have filled their heads with those impurities which surfeit their own4 ,what could more effectually wear off that natural delicacy1 that maiden purity and bashfulness1 which form the main barriers against the influx of vitiated ,amativeness8 ,how often do those whose modesty has been worn smooth1 even take pleasure in thus saying and doing things to raise the blush on the cheek of youth and innocence1 merely to witness the effect of this improper illusion upon them2 little realizing that they are thereby breaking down the barriers of their virtue1 and prematurely kindling the fires of animal passion6 #c4 ,,balls4 ,,parties ,,and ,,amusements4--,the entire machinery of balls and parties1 of dances and other amusements of young people1 tend to excite and inflame this passion4 ,thinking it a fine thing to get in love1 they court and form attachments long before either their mental or physical powers are matured4 ,of course1 these young loves1 these green-house exotics1 must be broken off1 and their miserable subjects left burning up with the fierce fires of a flaming passion1 which1 if left alone1 would have slumbered on for years1 till they were prepared for its proper management and exercise4 #d4 ,,sowing ,,the ,,seeds ,,for ,,future ,,ruin4--,nor is it merely the conversation of adults that does all this mischief2 their manners also increase it4 ,young men take the hands of girls from six to thirteen years old1 kiss them1 press them1 and play with them so as1 in a great variety of ways1 to excite their innocent passions1 combined1 ,i grant1 with friendship and refinement--for all this is genteely done4 ,they intend no harm1 and parents dream of none3 and yet their embryo love is awakened1 to be again still more easily excited4 ,maiden ladies1 and even married women1 often express similar feelings towards lads1 not perhaps positively improper in themselves1 yet injurious in their ultimate effects4 #e4 ,,reading ,,novels4--,how often have ,i seen girls not twelve years old1 as hungry for a story or novel as they should be for their dinners6 ,a sickly sentimentalism is thus formed1 and their minds are sullied with impure desires4 ,every fashionable young lady must of course read every new novel1 though nearly all of them contain exceptionable allusions1 perhaps delicately covered over with a thin gauze of fashionable refinement2 yet1 on that very account1 the more objectionable4 ,if this work contained one improper allusion to their ten1 many of those fastidious ladies who now eagerly devour the vulgarities of ,dumas1 and the double-entendres of ,bulwer1 and even converse with gentlemen about their contents1 would discountenance or condemn it as improper4 ,shame on novel-reading women2 for they cannot have pure minds or unsullied feelings1 but ,cupid and the beaux1 and waking of dreams of love1 are fast consuming their health and virtue4 #f4 ,,theater-,,going4--,theaters and theatrical dancing1 also inflame the passions1 and are the wide gate of the broad road of moral impurity4 ,fashionable music is another1 especially the verses set to it1 being mostly love-sick ditties1 or sentimental odes1 breathing this tender passion in its most melting and bewitching strains4 ,improper prints often do immense injury in this respect1 as do also balls1 parties1 annuals1 newspaper articles1 exceptional works1 etc4 #g4 ,,the ,,conclusion ,,of ,,the ,,whole ,,matter4--,stop for one moment and think for yourself and you will be convinced that the sentiment herein announced is for your good and the benefit of all mankind4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,puberty1 ,,virility ,,and ,,hygienic ,,laws4 #a4 ,,what ,,is ,,puberty8--,the definition is explained in another portion of this book1 but it should be understood that it is not a prompt or immediate change2 it is a slow extending growth and may extend for many years4 ,the ripening of physical powers do not take place when the first signs of puberty appear4 #b4 ,,proper ,,age4--,the proper age for puberty should vary from twelve to eighteen years4 ,as a general rule1 in the more vigorous and the more addicted to athletic exercise or out-door life1 this change is slower in making its approach4 #c4 ,,hygienic ,,attention4--,youths at this period should receive special private attention4 ,they should be taught the purpose of the sexual organs and the proper hygienic laws that govern them1 and they should also be taught to rise in the morning and not to lie in bed after waking up1 because it is largely owing to this habit that the secret vice is contracted4 ,one of the common causes of premature excitement in many boys is a tight foreskin4 ,it may cause much evil and ought always to be remedied4 ,ill-fitting garments often cause much irritation in children and produce unnatural passions4 ,it is best to have boys sleep in separate beds and not have them sleep together if it can be avoided4 #d4 ,,proper ,,influence4--,every boy and girl should be carefully trained to look with disgust on everything that is indecent in word or action4 ,let them be taught a sense of shame in doing shameful things1 and teach them that modesty is honorable1 and that immodesty is indecent and dishonorable4 ,careful training at the proper age may save many a boy or girl from ruin4 #e4 ,,sexual ,,passions4--,the sexual passions may be a fire from heaven1 or a subtle flame from hell4 ,it depends upon the government and proper control4 ,the noblest and most unselfish emotions take their arise in the passion of sex4 ,its sweet influence1 its elevating ties1 its vibrations and harmony1 all combine to make up the noble and courageous traits of man4 #f4 ,,when ,,passions ,,begin4--,it is thought by some that passions begin at the age of puberty1 but the passions may be produced as early as five or ten years4 ,all depends upon the training or the want of it4 ,self-abuse is not an uncommon evil at the age of eight or ten4 ,a company of bad boys often teach an innocent child that which will develop his ruin4 ,a boy may feel a sense of pleasure at eight and produce a slight discharge1 but not of semen4 ,thus it is seen that parents may by neglect do their child the greatest injury4 #g4 ,,false ,,modesty4--,let there be no false modesty on part of the parents4 ,give the child the necessary advice and instructions as soon as necessary4 #h4 ,,the ,,man ,,unsexed1 by ,mutilation or ,masturbation4 ,eunuchs are proverbial for tenor cruelty and crafty and unsympathizing dispositions4 ,their mental powers are feeble and their physical strength is inferior4 ,they lack courage and physical endurance4 ,when a child is operated upon before the age of puberty1 the voice retains its childish treble1 the limbs their soft and rounded outlines1 and the neck acquires a feminine fulness2 no beard makes its appearance4 ,in ancient times and up to this time in ,oriental nations eunuchs are found4 ,they are generally slaves who have suffered mutilation at a tender age4 ,it is a scientific fact that where boys have been taught the practice of masturbation in their early years1 say from eight to fourteen years of age1 if they survive at all they often have their powers reduced to a similar condition of a eunuch4 ,they generally however suffer a greater disadvantage4 ,their health will be more or less injured4 ,in the eunuch the power of sexual intercourse is not entirely lost1 but of course there is sterility1 and little if any satisfaction1 and the same thing may be true of the victim of self-abuse4 #i4 ,,signs ,,of ,,virility4--,as the young man develops in strength and years the sexual appetite will manifest itself4 ,the secretion of the male known as the seed or semen depends for the life-transmitting power upon little minute bodies called spermatozoa4 ,these are very active and numerous in a healthy secretion1 being many hundreds in a single drop and a single one of them is capable to bring about conception in a female4 ,dr4 ,napheys in his ,transmission of ,life1 says3 ,the secreted fluid has been frozen and kept at a temperature of zero for four days1 yet when it was thawed these animalcules1 as they are supposed to be1 were as active as ever4 ,they are not1 however1 always present1 and when present may be of variable activity4 ,in young men1 just past puberty1 and in aged men1 they are often scarce and languid in motion4 ,at the proper age the secretion is supposed to be the most active1 generally at the age of twenty-five1 and decreases as age increases4 #aj4 ,,hygienic ,,rule4--,the man at mid-life should guard carefully his passions and the husband his virile powers1 and as the years progress1 steadily wean himself more from his desire1 for his passions will become weaker with age and any excitement in middle life may soon debilitate and destroy his virile powers4 #aa4 ,,follies ,,of ,,youth4--,dr4 ,napheys says3 ,not many men can fritter away a decade or two of years in dissipation and excess1 and ever hope to make up their losses by rigid surveillance in later years4 ,the sins of youth are expiated in age1 is a proverb which daily examples illustrate4 ,in proportion as puberty is precocious1 will decadence be premature2 the excesses of middle life draw heavily on the fortune of later years4 ,the mill of the gods grinds slow1 but it grinds exceedingly fine1 and though nature may be a tardy creditor1 she is found at last to be an inexorable one4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,our ,,secret ,,sins4 #a4 ,,passions4--,every healthful man has sexual desires and he might as well refuse to satisfy his hunger as to deny their existence4 ,the ,creator has given us various appetites intended they should be indulged1 and has provided the means4 #b4 ,,reason4--,while it is true that a healthy man has strongly developed sexual passions1 yet1 ,god has crowned man with reason1 and with a proper exercise of this wonderful faculty of the human mind no lascivious thoughts need to control the passions4 ,a pure heart will develop pure thoughts and bring out a good life4 #c4 ,,rioting ,,in ,,visions4--,dr4 ,lewis says3 ,rioting in visions of nude women may exhaust one as much as an excess in actual intercourse4 ,there are multitudes who would never spend the night with an abandoned female1 but who rarely meet a young girl that their imaginations are not busy with her person4 ,this species of indulgence is well-nigh universal2 and it is the source of all other forms the fountain from which the external vices spring1 and the nursery of masturbation4 #d4 ,,committing ,,adultery ,,in ,,the ,,heart4--,a young man who allows his mind to dwell upon the vision of nude women will soon become a victim of ruinous passion1 and either fall under the influence of lewd women or resort to self-abuse4 ,the man who has no control over his mind and allows impure thoughts to be associated with the name of every female that may be suggested to his mind1 is but committing adultery in his heart1 just as guilty at heart as though he had committed the deed4 #e4 ,,unchastity4--,so far as the record is preserved1 unchastity has contributed above all other causes1 more to the ruin and exhaustion and demoralization of the race than all other wickedness4 ,and we shall not be likely to vanquish the monster1 even in ourselves1 unless we make the thoughts our point of attack4 ,so long as they are sensual we are indulging in sexual abuse1 and are almost sure1 when temptation is presented1 to commit the overt acts of sin4 ,if we cannot succeed within1 we may pray in vain for help to resist the tempter outwardly4 ,a young man who will indulge in obscene language will be guilty of a worse deed if opportunity is offered4 #f4 ,,bad ,,dressing4--,if women knew how much mischief they do men they would change some of their habits of dress4 ,the dress of their busts1 the padding in different parts1 are so contrived as to call away attention from the soul and fix it on the bosom and hips4 ,and then1 many1 even educated women1 are careful to avoid serious subjects in our presence one minute before a gentleman enters the room they may be engaged in thoughtful discussion1 but the moment he appears their whole style changes2 they assume light fascinating ways1 laugh sweet little bits of laughs1 and turn their heads this way and that1 all which forbids serious thinking and gives men over to imagination4 #g4 ,,the ,,lustful ,,eye4--,how many men there are who lecherously stare at every woman in whose presence they happen to be4 ,these monsters stare at women as though they were naked in a cage on exhibition4 ,a man whose whole manner is full of animal passion is not worthy of the respect of refined women4 ,they have no thoughts1 no ideas1 no sentiments1 nothing to interest them but the bodies of women whom they behold4 ,the moral character of young women has no significance or weight in their eyes4 ,this kind of men are a curse to society and a danger to the community4 ,no young lady is safe in their company4 #h4 ,,rebuking ,,sensualism4--,if the young women would exercise an honorable independence and heap contempt upon the young men that allow their imagination to take such liberties1 a different state of things would soon follow4 ,men of that type of character should have no recognition in the presence of ladies4 #i4 ,,early ,,marriages4--,there can be no doubt that early marriages are bad for both parties4 ,for children of such a marriage always lack vitality4 ,the ancient ,germans did not marry until the twenty-fourth or twenty-fifth year1 previous to which they observed the most rigid chastity1 and in consequence they acquired a size and strength that excited the astonishment of ,europe4 ,the present incomparable vigor of that race1 both physically and mentally1 is due in a great measure to their long established aversion to marrying young4 ,the results of too early marriages are in brief1 stunted growth and impaired strength on the part of the male2 delicate if not utterly bad health in the female2 the premature old age or death of one or both1 and a puny1 sickly offspring4 #aj4 ,,signs ,,of ,,excesses4--,dr4 ,dio ,lewis says3 ,some of the most common effects of sexual excess are backache1 lassitude1 giddiness1 dimness of sight1 noises in the ears1 numbness of the fingers1 and paralysis4 ,the drain is universal1 but the more sensitive organs and tissues suffer most4 ,so the nervous system gives way and continues the principal sufferer throughout4 ,a large part of the premature loss of sight and hearing1 dizziness1 numbness and pricking in the hands and feet1 and other kindred developments1 are justly chargeable to unbridled venery4 ,not unfrequently you see men whose head or back or nerve testifies of such reckless expenditure4 #aa4 ,,non-,,completed ,,intercourse4--,withdrawal before the emission occurs is injurious to both parties4 ,the soiling of the conjugal bed by the shameful manoeuvres is to be deplored4 #ab4 ,,the ,,extent ,,of ,,the ,,practice4--,one cannot tell to what extent this vice is practiced1 except by observing its consequences1 even among people who fear to commit the slightest sin1 to such a degree is the public conscience perverted upon this point4 ,still1 many husbands know that nature often renders nugatory the most subtle calculations1 and reconquers the rights which they have striven to frustrate4 ,no matter2 they persevere none the less1 and by the force of habit they poison the most blissful moments of life1 with no surety of averting the result that they fear4 ,so who knows if the too often feeble and weakened infants are not the fruit of these in themselves incomplete procreations1 and disturbed by preoccupations foreign to the natural act4 #ac4 ,,health ,,of ,,women4--,furthermore1 the moral relations existing between the married couple undergo unfortunate changes2 this affection1 founded upon reciprocal esteem1 is little by little effaced by the repetition of an act which pollutes the marriage bed4 ,if the good harmony of families and the reciprocal relations are seriously menaced by the invasion of these detestable practices1 the health of women1 as we have already intimated1 is fearfully injured4 #ad4 ,,crowning ,,sin ,,of ,,the ,,age4--,then there is the crime of abortion which is so prevalent in these days4 ,it is the crowning sin of the age1 though in a broader sense it includes all those sins that are committed to limit the size of the family4 ,it lies at the root of our spiritual life1 says ,rev4 ,b4,d4 ,sinclair1 and though secret in its nature1 paralyzes ,christian life and neutralizes every effort for righteousness which the church puts forth4 #ae4 ,,sexual ,,exhaustion4--,every sexual excitement is exhaustive in proportion to its intensity and continuance4 ,if a man sits by the side of a woman1 fondles and kisses her three or four hours1 and allows his imagination to run riot with sexual visions1 he will be five times as much exhausted as he would by the act culminating in emission4 ,it is the sexual excitement more than the emission which exhausts4 ,as shown in another part of this work1 thoughts of sexual intimacies1 long continued1 lead to the worst effects4 ,to a man1 whose imagination is filled with erotic fancies the emission comes as a merciful interruption to the burning1 harassing and wearing excitement which so constantly goads him4 #af4 ,,the ,,desire ,,of ,,good4--,the desire of good for its own sake--this is ,love4 ,the desire of good for bodily pleasure--this is ,lust4 ,man is a moral being1 and as such should always act in the animal sphere according to the spiritual law4 ,hence1 to break the law of the highest creative action for the mere gratification of animal instinct is to perform the act of sin and to produce the corruption of nature4 #ag4 ,,cause ,,of ,,prostitution4--,dr4 ,dio ,lewis says3 ,occasionally we meet a diseased female with excessive animal passion1 but such a case is very rare4 ,the average woman has so little sexual desire that if licentiousness depended upon her1 uninfluenced by her desire to please man or secure his support1 there would be very little sexual excess4 ,man is strong he has all the money and all the facilities for business and pleasure2 and woman is not long in learning the road to his favor4 ,many prostitutes who take no pleasure in their unclean intimacies not only endure a disgusting life for the favor and means thus gained1 but affect intense passion in their sexual contacts because they have learned that such exhibitions gratify men4 #ah4 ,,husband',s ,,brutality4--,husbands6 ,it is your licentiousness that drives your wives to a deed so abhorrent to their every wifely1 womanly and maternal instinct a deed which ruins the health of their bodies1 prostitutes their souls1 and makes marriage1 maternity and womanhood itself degrading and loathsome4 ,no terms can sufficiently characterize the cruelty1 meanness and disgusting selfishness of your conduct when you impose on them a maternity so detested as to drive them to the desperation of killing their unborn children and often themselves4 #ai4 ,,what ,,drunkards ,,bequeath ,,to ,,their ,,offspring4--,organic imperfections unfit the brain for sane action1 and habit confirms the insane condition2 the man's brain has become unsound4 ,then comes in the law of hereditary descent1 by which the brain of a man's children is fashioned after his own not as it was originally1 but as it has become1 in consequence of frequent functional disturbance4 ,hence1 of all appetites1 the inherited appetite for drunkenness is the most direful4 ,natural laws contemplate no exceptions1 and sins against them are never pardoned4 #bj4 ,,the ,,reports ,,of ,,hospitals4--,the reports of hospitals for lunatics almost universally assign intemperance as one of the causes which predispose a man's offspring to insanity4 ,this is even more strikingly manifested in the case of congenital idiocy4 ,they come generally from a class of families which seem to have degenerated physically to a low degree4 ,they are puny and sickly4 #ba4 ,,secret ,,diseases4--,see the weakly1 sickly and diseased children who are born only to suffer and die1 all because of the private disease of the father before his marriage4 ,oh1 let the truth be told that the young men of our land may learn the lessons of purity of life4 ,let them learn that in morality there is perfect protection and happiness4 ,illustration3 ,,getting ,a ,,divorce4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,degenerate ,,turk4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,physical ,,and ,,moral ,,degeneracy4 #a4 ,,moral ,,principle4--,edgar ,allen ,poe1 ,lord ,byron1 and ,robert ,burns1 says ,dr4 ,geo4 ,f4 ,hall1 were men of marvelous strength intellectually4 ,but measured by the true rule of high moral principle1 they were very weak4 ,superior endowment in a single direction--physical1 mental1 or spiritual--is not of itself sufficient to make one strong in all that that heroic word means4 #b4 ,,insane ,,asylum4--many a good man spiritually has gone to an untimely grave because of impaired physical powers4 ,many a good man spiritually has gone to the insane asylum because of bodily and mental weaknesses4 ,many a good man spiritually has fallen from virtue in an evil moment because of a weakened will1 or a too demanding fleshly passion1 or1 worse than either1 too lax views on the subject of personal chastity4 #c4 ,,boys ,,learning ,,vices4--some ignorant and timid people argue that boys and young men in reading a work of this character will learn vices concerning which they had never so much as dreamed of before4 ,this is1 however1 certain1 that vices cannot be condemned unless they are mentioned2 and if the condemnation is strong enough it surely will be a source of strength and of security4 ,if light and education1 on these important subjects1 does injury1 then all knowledge likewise must do more wrong than good4 ,knowledge is power1 and the only hope of the race is enlightenment on all subjects pertaining to their being4 #d4 ,,moral ,,manhood4--it is clearly visible that the ,american manhood is rotting down--decaying at the center4 ,the present generation shows many men of a small body and weak principles1 and men and women of this kind are becoming more and more prevalent4 ,dissipation and indiscretions of all kind are working ruin4 ,purity of life and temperate habits are being too generally disregarded4 #e4 ,,young ,,women4--the vast majority of graduates from the schools and colleges of our land to-day1 and two-thirds of the membership of our churches1 and three-fourths of the charitable workers1 are females4 ,everywhere girls are carrying off most of the prizes in competitive examinations1 because women1 as a sex1 naturally maintain a better character1 take better care of their bodies1 and are less addicted to bad and injurious habits4 ,while all this is true in reference to females1 you will find that the male sex furnishes almost the entire number of criminals4 ,the saloons1 gambling dens1 the brothels1 and bad literature are drawing down all that the public schools can build up4 ,seventy per cent4 ,of the young men of this land do not darken the church door4 ,they are not interested in moral improvement or moral education4 ,eighty-five per cent4 ,leave school under #ae years of age2 prefer the loafer's honors to the benefit of school4 #f4 ,,promotion4--the world is full of good places for good young men1 and all the positions of trust now occupied by the present generation will soon be filled by the competent young men of the coming generation2 and he that keeps his record clean1 lives a pure life1 and avoids excesses or dissipations of all kinds1 and fortifies his life with good habits1 is the young man who will be heard from1 and a thousand places will be open for his services4 #g4 ,,personal ,,purity4--,dr4 ,george ,f4 ,hall says3 why not pay careful attention to man in all his elements of strength1 physical1 mental1 and moral8 ,why not make personal purity a fixed principle in the manhood of the present and coming generation1 and thus insure the best men the world has ever seen8 ,it can be done4 ,let every reader of these lines resolve that he will be one to help do it4 ,illustration3 ,charles ,dickens' chair and desk4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,immorality1 ,,disease ,,and ,,death4 #a4 ,,the ,,policy ,,of ,,silence4--there is no greater delusion than to suppose that vast number of boys know nothing about practices of sin4 ,some parents are afraid that unclean thoughts may be suggested by these very defences4 ,the danger is slight4 ,such cases are barely possible1 but when the untold thousands are thought of on the other side1 who have been demoralized from childhood through ignorance1 and who are to-day suffering the result of these vicious practices1 the policy of silence stands condemned1 and intelligent knowledge abundantly justified4 ,the emphatic words of scripture are true in this respect also1 the people are destroyed for lack of knowledge4 #b4 ,,living ,,illustration4--without fear of truthful contradiction1 we affirm that the homes1 public assemblies1 and streets of all our large cities abound to-day with living illustrations and proofs of the widespread existence of this physical and moral scourge4 ,an enervated and stunted manhood1 a badly developed physique1 a marked absence of manly and womanly strength and beauty1 are painfully common everywhere4 ,boys and girls1 young men and women1 exist by thousands1 of whom it may be said1 they were badly born and ill-developed4 ,many of them are1 to some extent1 bearing the penalty of the transcriber's note3 the text appears to read sins but it is unclear and excesses of their parents1 especially their fathers1 whilst the great majority are reaping the fruits of their own immorality in a dwarfed and ill-formed body1 and effeminate appearance1 weak and enervated mind4 #c4 ,,effeminate ,,and ,,sickly ,,young ,,men4--the purposeless and aimless life of any number of effeminate and sickly young men1 is to be distinctly attributed to these sins4 ,the large class of mentally impotent ne'er-do-wells are being constantly recruited and added to by those who practice what the celebrated ,erichson calls that hideous sin engendered by vice1 and practiced in solitude--the sin1 be it observed1 which is the common cause of physical and mental weakness1 and of the fearfully impoverishing night-emissions1 or as they are commonly called1 wet-dreams4 #d4 ,,weakness1 ,,disease1 ,,deformity1 ,,and ,,death4--,through self-pollution and fornication the land is being corrupted with weakness1 disease1 deformity1 and death4 ,we regret to say that we cannot speak with confidence concerning the moral character of the ,jew2 but we have people amongst us who have deservedly a high character for the tone of their moral life--we refer to the members of the ,society of ,friends4 ,the average of life amongst these reaches no less than fifty-six years2 and1 whilst some allowance must be made for the fact that amongst the ,friends the poor have not a large representation1 these figures show conclusively the soundness of this position4 #e4 ,,sowing ,,their ,,wild ,,oats4--,it is monstrous to suppose that healthy children should die just as they are coming to manhood4 ,the fact that thousands of young people do reach the age of sixteen or eighteen1 and then decline and die1 should arouse parents to ask the question3 ,why8 ,certainly it would not be difficult to tell the reason in thousands of instances1 and yet the habit and practice of the deadly sin of self-pollution is actually ignored2 it is even spoken of as a boyish folly not to be mentioned1 and young men literally burning up with lust are mildly spoken of as sowing their wild oats4 ,thus the cemetery is being filled with masses of the youth of ,america who1 as in ,egypt of old1 fill up the graves of uncleanness and lust4 ,some time since a prominent ,christian man was taking exception to my addressing men on this subject2 observe this6 one of his own sons was at that very time near the lunatic asylum through these disgusting sins4 ,what folly and madness this is6 #f4 ,,death ,,to ,,true ,,manhood4--,the question for each one is1 ,in what way are you going to divert the courses of the streams of energy which pertain to youthful vigor and manhood8 ,to be destitute of that which may be described as raw material in the human frame1 means that no really vigorous manhood can have place2 to burn up the juices of the system in the fires of lust is madness and wanton folly1 but it can be done4 ,to divert the currents of life and energy from blood and brain1 from memory and muscle1 in order to secrete it for the shambles of prostitution1 is death to true manhood2 but remember1 it can be done6 ,the generous liquid life may inspire the brain and blood with noble impulse and vital force1 or it may be sinned away and drained out of the system until the jaded brain1 the faded cheek1 the enervated young manhood1 the gray hair1 narrow chest1 weak voice1 and the enfeebled mind show another victim in the long catalogue of the degraded through lust4 #g4 ,,the ,,sisterhood ,,of ,,shame ,,and ,,death4--,whenever we pass the sisterhood of death1 and hear the undertone of song1 which is one of the harlot's methods of advertising1 let us recall the words1 that these represent the pestilence which walketh in darkness1 the destruction that wasteth at noonday4 ,the allusion1 of course1 is to the fact that the great majority of these harlots are full of loathsome physical and moral disease2 with the face and form of an angel1 these women bite like a serpent and sting like an adder2 their traffic is not for life1 but inevitably for shame1 disease1 and death4 ,betrayed and seduced themselves1 they in their turn betray and curse others4 #h4 ,,warning ,,others4--,have you never been struck with the argument of the ,apostle1 who1 warning others from the corrupt example of the fleshy ,esau1 said1 ,lest there be any fornicator or profane person as ,esau1 who for one mess of meat sold his own birthright4 ,for ye know that even afterward1 when he desired to inherit the blessing1 he was rejected1 he found no place for repentance1 though he sought it diligently with tears4 ,terrible and striking words are these4 ,his birthright sold for a mess of meat4 ,the fearful costs of sin--yes1 that is the thought1 particularly the sin of fornication6 ,engrave that word upon your memories and hearts--,one mess of meat4 #i4 ,,the ,,harlot',s ,,mess ,,of ,,meat4--,remember it1 young men1 when you are tempted to this sin4 ,for a few minutes' sensual pleasure1 for a mess of harlot's meat1 young men are paying out the love of the son and brother2 they are deceiving1 lying1 and cheating for a mess of meat2 for a mess1 not seldom of putrid flesh1 men have paid down purity and prayer1 manliness and godliness2 for a mess of meat some perhaps have donned their best attire1 and assumed the manners of the gentleman1 and then1 like an infernal hypocrite flogged the steps of maiden or harlot to satisfy their degrading lust2 for a mess of meat young men have deceived father and mother1 and shrunk from the embrace of love of the pure-minded sister4 ,for the harlot's mess of meat some listening to me have spent scores of hours of invaluable time4 ,they have wearied the body1 diseased and demoralized the mind4 ,the pocket has been emptied1 theft committed1 lies unnumbered told1 to play the part of the harlot's mate--perchance a six-foot fool1 dragged into the filth and mire of the harlot's house4 ,you called her your friend1 when1 but for her mess of meat1 you would have passed her like dirt in the street4 #aj4 ,,seeing ,,life4--,you consorted with her for your mutual shame and death1 and then called it seeing life4 ,had your mother met you1 you would have shrunk away like a craven cur4 ,had your sister interviewed you1 she had blushed to bear your name2 or had she been seen by you in company with some other whoremaster1 for similar commerce1 you would have wished that she had been dead4 ,now what think you of this seeing life8 ,and it is for this that tens of thousands of strong men in our large cities are selling their birthright4 #aa4 ,,the ,,devil',s ,,decoys4--,some may be ready to affirm that physical and moral penalties do not appear to overtake all men2 that many men known to be given to intemperance and sensuality are strong1 well1 and live to a good age4 ,let us not make any mistake concerning these2 they are exceptions to the rule2 the appearance of health in them is but the grossness of sensuality4 ,you have only carefully to look into the faces of these men to see that their countenances1 eyes1 and speech betray them4 ,they are simply the devil's decoys4 #ab4 ,,grossness ,,of ,,sensuality4--,the poor degraded harlot draws in the victims like a heavily charged lodestone2 these men are found in large numbers throughout the entire community2 they would make fine men were they not weighted with the grossness of sensuality2 as it is1 they frequent the race-course1 the card-table1 the drinking-saloon1 the music-hall1 and the low theaters1 which abound in our cities and towns2 the great majority of these are men of means and leisure4 ,idleness is their curse1 their opportunity for sin2 you may know them as the loungers over refreshment-bars1 as the retailers of the latest filthy joke1 or as the vendors of some disgusting scandal2 indeed1 it is appalling the number of these lepers found both in our business and social circles4 ,illustration3 ,,palestine ,,water ,,carriers4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,poisonous ,,literature ,,and ,,bad ,,pictures4 #a4 ,,obscene ,,literature4--,no other source contributes so much to sexual immorality as obscene literature4 ,the mass of stories published in the great weeklies and the cheap novels are mischievous4 ,when the devil determines to take charge of a young soul1 be often employs a very ingenious method4 ,he slyly hands a little novel filled with voluptuous forms1 reclining on bosoms1 languishing eyes1 etc4 #b4 ,,moral ,,forces4--,the world is full of such literature4 ,it is easily accessible1 for it is cheap1 and the young will procure it1 and therefore become easy prey to its baneful influence and effects4 ,it weakens the moral forces of the young1 and they thereby fall an easy prey before the subtle schemes of the libertine4 #c4 ,,bad ,,books4--,bad books play not a small part in the corruption of the youth4 ,a bad book is as bad as an evil companion4 ,in some respects it is even worse than a living teacher of vice1 since it may cling to an individual at all times4 ,it will follow him and poison his mind with the venom of evil4 ,the influence of bad books in making bad boys and men is little appreciated4 ,few are aware how much evil seed is being sown among the young everywhere through the medium of vile books4 #d4 ,,sensational ,,story ,,books4--,much of the evil literature which is sold in nickel and dime novels1 and which constitutes the principal part of the contents of such papers as the ,police ,gazette1 the ,police ,news1 and a large proportion of the sensational story books which flood the land4 ,you might better place a coal of fire or a live viper in your bosom1 than allow yourself to read such a book4 ,the thoughts that are implanted in the mind in youth will often stick there through life1 in spite of all efforts to dislodge them4 #e4 ,,papers ,,and ,,magazines4--,many of the papers and magazines sold at our news stands1 and eagerly sought after by young men and boys1 are better suited for the parlors of a house of ill-fame than for the eyes of pure-minded youth4 ,a newsdealer who will distribute such vile sheets ought to be dealt with as an educator in vice and crime1 an agent of evil1 and a recruiting officer of hell and perdition4 #f4 ,,sentimental ,,literature ,,of ,,low ,,fiction4--,sentimental literature1 whether impure in its subject matter or not1 has a direct tendency in the direction of impurity4 ,the stimulation of the emotional nature1 the instilling of sentimental ideas into the minds of the young1 has a tendency to turn the thoughts into a channel which leads in the direction of the formation of vicious habits4 #g4 ,,impressions ,,left ,,by ,,reading ,,questionable ,,literature4--,it is painful to see strong intelligent men and youths reading bad books1 or feasting their eyes on filthy pictures1 for the practice is sure to affect their personal purity4 ,impressions will be left which cannot fail to breed a legion of impure thoughts1 and in many instances criminal deeds4 ,thousands of elevator boys1 clerks1 students1 traveling men1 and others1 patronize the questionable literature counter to an alarming extent4 #h4 ,,the ,,nude ,,in ,,art4--,for years there has been a great craze after the nude in art1 and the realistic in literature4 ,many art galleries abound in pictures and statuary which cannot fail to fan the fires of sensualism1 unless the thoughts of the visitor are trained to the strictest purity4 ,why should artists and sculptors persist in shocking the finer sensibilities of old and young of both sexes by crowding upon their view representations of naked human forms in attitudes of luxurious abandon8 ,public taste may demand it4 ,but let those who have the power endeavor to reform public taste4 #i4 ,,widely ,,diffused4--,good men have ever lamented the pernicious influence of a depraved and perverted literature4 ,but such literature has never been so systematically and widely diffused as at the present time4 ,this is owing to two causes1 its cheapness and the facility of conveyance4 #aj4 ,,inflame ,,the ,,passions4--,a very large proportion of the works thus put in circulation are of the worst character1 tending to corrupt the principles1 to inflame the passions1 to excite impure desire1 and spread a blight over all the powers of the soul4 ,brothels are recruited from this more than any other source4 ,those who search the trunks of convicted criminals are almost sure to find in them one of more of these works2 and few prisoners who can read at all fail to enumerate among the causes which led them into crime the unhealthy stimulus of this depraved and poisonous literature4 ,illustration ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,startling ,,sins4 #a4 ,,nameless ,,crimes4--,the nameless crimes identified with the hushed-up ,sodomite cases2 the revolting condition of the school of ,sodomy2 the revelations of the ,divorce ,court concerning the condition of what is called national nobility1 and upper classes1 as well as the unclean spirit which attaches to society papers1 has revealed a condition which is perfectly disgusting4 #b4 ,,unfaithfulness4--,unfaithfulness amongst husbands and wives in the upper classes is common and adultery rife everywhere2 mistresses are kept in all directions2 thousands of these rich men have at least two1 and not seldom three establishments4 #c4 ,a ,,frightful ,,increase4--,facts which have come to light during the past ten years show a frightful increase in every form of licentiousness2 the widely extended area over which whoredom and degrading lust have thrown the glamor of their fascinating toils is simply appalling4 #d4 ,,moral ,,carnage4--,we speak against the fearful moral carnage2 would to ,god that some unmistakable manifestation of the wrath of ,god should come in and put a stop to this huge seed-plot of national demoralization6 ,we are reaping in this disgusting center the harvest of corruption which has come from the toleration and encouragements given by the legislature1 the police1 and the magistrates to immorality1 vice and sin2 the awful fact is that we are in the midst of the foul and foetid harvest of lust4 ,aided by some of the most exalted personages in the land1 assisted by thousands of educated and wealthy whoremongers and adulterers1 we are reaping also1 in individual physical ugliness and deformity1 that which has been sown2 the puny1 ill-formed and mentally weak youths and maidens1 men and women1 to be seen in large numbers in our principal towns and cities1 represent the widespread nature of the curse1 which has1 in a marked manner1 impaired the physique1 the morality1 and the intelligence of the nation4 #e4 ,,daily ,,press4--,the daily press has not had the moral courage to say one word2 the quality of demoralizing novels such as have been produced from the impure brain and unclean imaginations2 the subtle1 clever and fascinating undermining of the white-winged angel of purity by modern sophists1 whose purient and vicious volumes were written to throw a halo of charm and beauty about the brilliant courtesan and the splendid adulteress2 the mixing up of lust and love2 the making of corrupt passion to stand in the garb of a deep1 lasting1 and holy affection--these are some of the hidious seedlings which1 hidden amid the glamor and fascination of the seeming angel of light1 have to so large an extent corrupted the morality of the country4 #f4 ,,nightly ,,exhibitions4--,some of you know what the nightly exhibitions in these garlanded temples of whorish incentive are4 ,there is the variety theatre with its disgusting ballet dancing1 and its shamelessly indecent photographs exhibited in every direction4 ,what a clear gain to morality it would be if the accursed houses were burnt down1 and forbidden by law ever to be re-built or re-opened2 the whole scene is designed to act upon and stimulate the lusts and evil passions of corrupt men and women4 #g4 ,,confidence ,,and ,,exposure4--,i hear some of you say1 cannot some influence be brought to bear upon this plague-spot8 ,will the legislature or congress do nothing8 ,is the law and moral right to continue to be trodden under foot8 ,are the magistrates and the police powerless8 ,the truth is1 the harlots and whoremongers are master of the situation2 the moral sense of the legislators1 the magistrates1 and the police is so low that anything like confidence is at present out of the question4 #h4 ,,the ,,sisterhood ,,of ,,shame ,,and ,,death4--,it is enough to make angels weep to see a great mass of ,america's wealthy and better-class sons full of zeal and on fire with interest in the surging hundreds of the sisterhood of shame and death4 ,many of these men act as if they were--if they do not believe they are--dogs4 ,no poor hunted dog in the streets was ever tracked by a yelping crowd of curs more than is the fresh girl or chance of a maid in the accursed streets of our large cities4 ,price is no object1 nor parentage1 nor home2 it is the truth to affirm that hundreds and thousands of well-dressed and educated men come in order to the gratification of their lusts1 and to this end they frequent this whole district2 they have reached this stage1 they are being burned up in this fire of lust2 men of whom ,god says1 ,having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease sin4 #i4 ,,law ,,makers4--,now should any member of the legislature rise up and testify against this earthly hell1 and speak in defence of the moral manhood and womanhood of the nation1 he would be greeted as a fanatic1 and laughed down amid derisive cheers2 such has been the experience again and again4 ,therefore attack this great stronghold which for the past thirty years has warred and is warring against our social manhood and womanhood1 and constantly undermining the moral life of the nation2 against this citadel of licentiousness1 this metropolitan centre of crime1 and vice1 and sin1 direct your full blast of righteous and manly indignation4 #aj4 ,,temples ,,of ,,lust4--,here stand the foul and splendid temples of lust1 intemperance1 and passion1 into whose vortex tens of thousands of our sons and daughters are constantly being drawn4 ,let it be remembered that this whole area represents the most costly conditions1 and proves beyond ,question that an enormous proportion of the wealthy manhood of the nation1 and we as citizens sustain1 partake1 and share in this carnival of death4 ,is it any wonder that the robust type of godly manhood which used to be found in the legislature is sadly wanting now1 or that the wretched caricatures of manhood which find form and place in such papers as ,truth and the ,world are accepted as representing modern society8 #aa4 ,,puritanic ,,manhood4--,it is a melancholy fact that1 by reason of uncleanness1 we have almost lost regard for the type of puritanic manhood which in the past held aloft the standard of a chaste and holy life2 such men in this day are spoken of as too slow as weak-kneed1 and goody-goody men4 ,let me recall that word1 the fast and indecently-dressed things1 the animals of easy virtue1 the respectable courtesans that flirt1 chaff1 gamble1 and waltz with well-known high-class licentious lepers--such is the ideal of womanhood which a large proportion of our large city society accepts1 fawns upon1 and favors4 ,illustration #ab4 ,,shameful ,,conditions4--,perhaps one of the most inhuman and shameful conditions of modern fashionable society1 both in ,england and ,america1 is that which wealthy men and women who are married destroy their own children in the embryo stage of being1 and become murderers thereby4 ,this is done to prevent what should become one of our chief glories1 viz41 large and well-developed ,transcriber's note3 the text appears to read home but it is unclear and family life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,prostitution ,,of ,,men4 ,,cause ,,and ,,remedy4 #a4 ,,exposed ,,youth4--,generally even in the beginning of the period when sexual uneasiness begins to show itself in the boy1 he is exposed in schools1 institutes1 and elsewhere to the temptations of secret vice1 which is transmitted from youth to youth1 like a contagious corruption1 and which in thousands destroys the first germs of virility4 ,countless numbers of boys are addicted to these vices for years4 ,that they do not in the beginning of nascent puberty proceed to sexual intercourse with women1 is generally due to youthful timidity1 which dares not reveal its desire1 or from want of experience for finding opportunities4 ,the desire is there1 for the heart is already corrupted4 #b4 ,,boyhood ,,timidity ,,overcome4--,too often a common boy's timidity is overcome by chance or by seduction1 which is rarely lacking in great cities where prostitution is flourishing1 and thus numbers of boys immediately after the transition period of youth1 in accordance with the previous secret practice1 accustom themselves to the association with prostitute women1 and there young manhood and morals are soon lost forever4 #c4 ,,marriage-,,bed ,,resolutions4--,most men of the educated classes enter the marriage-bed with the consciousness of leaving behind them a whole army of prostitutes or seduced women1 in whose arms they cooled their passions and spent the vigor of their youth4 ,but with such a past the married man does not at the same time leave behind him its influence on his inclinations4 ,the habit of having a feminine being at his disposal for every rising appetite1 and the desire for change inordinately indulged for years1 generally make themselves felt again as soon as the honeymoon is over4 ,marriage will not make a morally corrupt man all at once a good man and a model husband4 #d4 ,,the ,,injustice ,,of ,,man4--,now1 although many men are in a certain sense not worthy to unloose the latchet of the shoes of the commonest woman1 much less to unfasten her girdle1 yet they make the most extravagant demands on the feminine sex4 ,even the greatest debauchee1 who has spent his vigor in the arms of a hundred courtesans1 will cry out fraud and treachery if he does not receive his newly married bride as an untouched virgin4 ,even the most dissolute husband will look on his wife as deserving of death if his daily infidelity is only once reciprocated4 #e4 ,,unjust ,,demands4--,the greater the injustice a husband does to his wife1 the less he is willing to submit to from her2 the oftener he becomes unfaithful to her1 the stricter he is in demanding faithfulness from her4 ,we see that despotism nowhere denies its own nature3 the more a despot deceives and abuses his people1 the more submissiveness and faithfulness he demands of them4 #f4 ,,suffering ,,women4--,who can be astonished at the many unhappy marriages1 if he knows how unworthy most men are of their wives8 ,their virtues they rarely can appreciate1 and their vices they generally call out by their own4 ,thousands of women suffer from the results of a mode of life of which they1 having remained pure in their thought1 have no conception whatever2 and many an unsuspecting wife nurses her husband with tenderest care in sicknesses which are nothing more than the consequences of his amours with other women4 #g4 ,,an ,,inhuman ,,criminal4--,when at last1 after long years of delusion and endurance1 the scales drop from the eyes of the wife1 and revenge or despair drives her into a hostile position towards her lord and master1 she is an inhuman criminal1 and the hue and cry against the fickleness of women and the falsity of their nature is endless4 ,oh1 the injustice of society and the injustice of cruel man4 ,is there no relief for helpless women that are bound by the ties of marriage to men who are nothing but rotten corruption8 #h4 ,,vulgar ,,desire4--,the habit of regarding the end and aim of woman only from the most vulgar side--not to respect in her the noble human being1 but to see in her only the instrument of sensual desire--is carried so far among men that they will allow it to force into the background considerations among themselves1 which they otherwise pretend to rank very high4 #i4 ,,the ,,only ,,remedy4--,but when the feeling of women has once been driven to indignation with respect to the position which they occupy1 it is to be hoped that they will compel men to be pure before marriage1 and they will remain loyal after marriage4 #aj4 ,,worse ,,than ,,savages4--,with all our civilization we are put to shame even by the savages4 ,the savages know of no fastidiousness of the sexual instinct and of no brothels4 ,we are1 indeed1 likewise savages1 but in quite a different sense4 ,proof of this is especially furnished by our youth4 ,but that our students1 and young men in general1 usually pass through the school of corruption and drag the filth of the road which they have traversed before marriage along with them throughout life1 is not their fault so much as the fault of prejudices and of our political and social conditions that prohibits a proper education1 and the placing of the right kind of literature on these subjects into the hands of young people4 ,illustration #aa4 ,,reason ,,and ,,remedy4--,keep the youth pure by a thorough system of plain unrestricted training4 ,the seeds of immorality are sown in youth1 and the secret vice eats out their young manhood often before the age of puberty4 ,they develop a bad character as they grow older4 ,young girls are ruined1 and licentiousness and prostitution flourish4 ,keep the boys pure and the harlot would soon lose her vocation4 ,elevate the morals of the boys1 and you will have pure men and moral husbands4 ,illustration3 ,,suicide ,,lake4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,road ,,to ,,shame4 #a4 ,,insult ,,to ,,mother ,,or ,,sister4--,young men1 it can never tinder any circumstances be right for you to do to a woman that1 which1 if another man did to your mother or sister1 you could never forgive6 ,the very thought is revolting4 ,let us suppose a man guilty of this shameful sin1 and ,i apprehend that each of us would feel ready to shoot the villain4 ,we are not justifying the shooting1 but appealing to your instinctive sense of right1 in order to show the enormity of this fearful crime1 and to fasten strong conviction in your mind against this sin4 #b4 ,a ,,ruined ,,sister4--,what would you think of a man1 no matter what his wealth1 culture1 or gentlemanly bearing1 who should lay himself out for the seduction and shame of your beloved sister8 ,her very name now reminds you of the purest affection3 think of her1 if you can bear it1 ruined in character1 and soon to become an unhappy mother4 ,to whom can you introduce her8 ,what can you say concerning her8 ,how can her own brothers and sisters associate with her8 and1 mark6 all this personal and relative misery caused by this genteel villain's degrading passion4 #c4 ,,young ,,man ,,lost4--,another terrible result of this sin is the practical overthrow of natural affection which it effects4 ,a young man comes from his father's house to ,chicago4 ,either through his own lust or through the corrupt companions that he finds in the house of business where he resides1 he becomes the companion of lewd women4 ,the immediate result is a bad conscience1 a sense of shame1 and a breach in the affections of home4 ,letters are less frequent1 careless1 and brief4 ,he cannot manifest true love now4 ,he begins to shrink from his sister and mother1 and well he may4 #d4 ,,the ,,harlot',s ,,influence4--,he has spent the strength of his affection and love for home4 ,in their stead the wretched harlot has filled him with unholy lust4 ,his brain and heart refuse to yield him the love of the son and brother4 ,his hand can not write as aforetime1 or at best1 his expressions become a hypocritical pretence4 ,fallen into the degradation of the fornicator1 he has changed a mother's love and sister's affection for the cursed fellowship of the woman whose house is the way to hell4 7,prov4 ,,vii4 #bg47 #e4 ,,the ,,way ,,of ,,death4--,observe1 that directly the law of ,god is broken1 and wherever promiscuous intercourse between the sexes takes place1 gonorrhoea1 syphilis1 and every other form of venereal disease is seen in hideous variety4 ,it is only true to say that thousands of both sexes are slain annually by these horrible diseases4 ,what must be the moral enormity of a sin1 which1 when committed1 produces in vast numbers of cases such frightful physical and moral destruction as that which is here portrayed8 #f4 ,a ,,harlot',s ,,woes4--,would to ,god that something might be done to rescue fallen women from their low estate4 ,we speak of them as fallen women4 ,fallen1 indeed1 they are1 but surely not more deserving of the application of that term than the fallen men who are their partners and paramours4 ,it is easy to use the words a fallen woman1 but who can apprehend all that is involved in the expression1 seeing that every purpose for which ,god created woman is prostituted and destroyed8 ,she is now neither maiden1 wife1 nor mother2 the sweet names of sister and betrothed can have no legitimate application in her case4 #g4 ,,the ,,penalties ,,for ,,lost ,,virtue4--,can the harlot be welcomed where either children1 brothers1 sisters1 wife1 or husband are found8 ,surely1 no4 ,home is a sphere alien to the harlot's estate4 ,see such an one wherever you may--she is a fallen outcast from woman's high estate4 ,her existence--for she does not live--now culminates in one dread issue1 viz41 prostitution4 ,she sleeps1 but awakes a harlot4 ,she rises in the late morning hours1 but her object is prostitution2 she washes1 dresses1 and braids her hair1 but it is with one foul purpose before her4 ,to this end she eats1 drinks1 and is clothed4 ,to this end her house is hidden and the blinds are drawn4 #h4 ,,lost ,,forever4--,to this end she applies the unnatural cosmetique1 and covers herself with sweet perfumes1 which vainly try to hide her disease and shame4 ,to this end she decks herself with dashing finery and tawdry trappings1 and with bold1 unwomanly mien essays the streets of the great city4 ,to this end she is loud and coarse and impudent4 ,to this end she is the prostituted lady1 with simpering words1 and smiles1 and glamour of refined deceit4 ,to this end an angel face1 a devil in disguise4 ,there is one foul and ghastly purpose towards which all her energies now tend4 ,so low has she fallen1 so lost is she to all the design of woman1 that she exists for one foul purpose only1 viz41 to excite1 stimulate1 and gratify the lusts of degraded1 ungodly men4 ,verily1 the word prostitute has an awful meaning4 ,what plummet can sound the depths of a woman's fall who has become a harlot8 #i4 ,,sound ,,the ,,alarm4--,remember1 young man1 you can never rise above the degradation of the companionship of lewd women4 ,your virtue once lost is lost forever4 ,remember1 young woman1 your wealth or riches is your good name and good character--you have nothing else4 ,give a man your virtue and he will forsake you1 and you will be forsaken by all the world4 ,remember that purity of purpose brings nobility of character1 and an honorable life is the joy and security of mankind4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,great ,,philanthropist4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,curse ,,of ,,manhood4 #a4 ,,moral ,,lepers4--,we cannot but denounce1 in the strongest terms1 the profligacy of many married men4 ,not content with the moderation permitted in the divine appointed relationship of marriage1 they become adulterers1 in order to gratify their accursed lust4 ,the man in them is trodden down by the sensual beast which reigns supreme4 ,these are the moral outlaws that make light of this scandalous social iniquity1 and by their damnable example encourage young men to sin4 #b4 ,a ,,sad ,,condition4--,it is constantly affirmed by prostitutes1 that amongst married men are found their chief supporters4 ,evidence from such a quarter must be received with considerable caution4 ,nevertheless1 we believe that there is much truth in this statement4 ,here1 again1 we lay the ax to the root of the tree2 the married man who dares affirm that there is a particle of physical necessity for this sin1 is a liar1 and the truth is not in him4 ,whether these men be princes1 peers1 legislators1 professional men1 mechanics1 or workmen1 they are moral pests1 a scandal to the social state1 and a curse to the nation4 #c4 ,,excesses4--,many married men exhaust themselves by these excesses2 they become irritable1 liable to cold1 to rheumatic affections1 and nervous depression4 ,they find themselves weary when they rise in the morning4 ,unfitted for close application to business1 they become dilatory and careless1 often lapsing into entire lack of energy1 and not seldom into the love of intoxicating stimulants4 ,numbers of husbands and wives entering upon these experiences lose the charm of health1 the cheerfulness of life and converse4 ,home duties become irksome to the wife2 the brightness1 vivacity1 and bloom natural to her earlier years1 decline2 she is spoken of as highly nervous1 poorly1 and weak1 when the whole truth is that she is suffering from physical exhaustion which she cannot bear4 ,her features become angular1 her hair prematurely gray1 she rapidly settles down into the nervous invalid1 constantly needing medical aid1 and1 if possible1 change of air4 #d4 ,,ignorance4--,these conditions are brought about in many cases through ignorance on the part of those who are married4 ,multitudes of men have neither read1 heard1 nor known the truth of this question4 ,we sympathize with our fellow-men in this1 that we have been left in practical ignorance concerning the exceeding value and legitimate uses of these functions of our being4 ,some know1 that1 had they known these things in the early days of their married life1 it would have proved to them knowledge of exceeding value4 ,if this counsel is followed1 thousands of homes will scarcely know the need of the physician's presence4 #e4 ,,animal ,,passion4--,commonsense teaches that children who are begotten in the heat of animal passion1 are likely to be licentious when they grow up4 ,many parents through excesses of eating and drinking1 become inflamed with wine and strong drink4 ,they are sensualists1 and consequently1 morally diseased4 ,now1 if in such conditions men beget their children1 who can affect surprise if they develop licentious tendencies8 ,are not such parents largely to blame8 ,are they not criminals in a high degree8 ,have they not fouled their own nest1 and transmitted to their children predisposition to moral evil8 #f4 ,,fast ,,young ,,men4--,many of our fast young men have been thus corrupted1 even as the children of the intemperate are proved to have been4 ,certainly no one can deny that many of our well-bred young men are little better than high-class dogs so lawless are they1 and ready for the arena of licentiousness4 #g4 ,,the ,,pure-,,minded ,,wife4--,happily1 as tens of thousands of husbands can testify1 the pure-minded wife and mother is not carried away1 as men are liable to be1 with the force of animal passion4 ,were it not so1 the tendencies to licentiousness in many sons would be stronger than they are4 ,in the vast majority of cases suggestion is never made except by the husband1 and it is a matter of deepest gratitude and consideration1 that the true wife may become a real helpmeet in restraining this desire in the husband4 #h4 ,,young ,,wife ,,and ,,children4--,we often hear it stated that a young wife has her children quickly4 ,this cannot happen to the majority of women without injury to health and jeopardy to life4 ,the law which rendered it imperative for the land to lie fallow in order to rest and gain renewed strength1 is only another illustration of the unity which pervades physical conditions everywhere4 ,it should be known that if a mother nurses her own babe1 and the child is not weaned until it is nine or ten months old1 the mother1 except in rare cases1 will not become enceinte again1 though cohabitation with the husband takes place4 #i4 ,,selfish ,,and ,,unnatural ,,conduct4--,it is natural and rational that a mother should feed her own children2 in the selfish and unnatural conduct of many mothers1 who1 to avoid the self-denial and patience which are required1 hand the little one over to the wet-nurse1 or to be brought up by hand1 is found in many cases the cause and reason of the unnatural haste of child-bearing4 ,mothers need to be taught that the laws of nature cannot be broken without penalty4 ,for every woman whose health has been weakened through nursing her child1 a hundred have lost strength and health through marital excesses4 ,the haste of having children is the costly penalty which women pay for shirking the mother's duty to the child4 #aj4 ,,law ,,of ,,god4--,so graciously has the law of ,god been arranged in regard to the mother's strength1 that1 if it be obeyed1 there will be1 as a rule1 an interval of at least from eighteen months to two years between the birth of one child and that of another4 ,every married man should abstain during certain natural seasons4 ,in this periodical recurrance ,god has instituted to every husband the law of restraint1 and insisted upon self-control4 #aa4 ,,to ,,young ,,people ,,who ,,are ,,married4--,be exceedingly careful of license and excess in your intercourse with one another4 ,do not needlessly expose1 by undress1 the body4 ,let not the purity of love degenerate into unholy lust6 ,see to it that you walk according to the divine ,word4 ,dwelling together as being heirs of the grace of life1 that your prayers be not hindered4 #ab4 ,,lost ,,powers4--,many young men after their union showed a marked difference4 ,they lost much of their natural vivacity1 energy1 and strength of voice4 ,their powers of application1 as business men1 students1 and ministers1 had declined1 as also their enterprise1 fervor1 and kindliness4 ,they had become irritable1 dull1 pale1 and complaining4 ,many cases of rheumatic fever have been induced through impoverishment1 caused by excesses on the part of young married men4 #ac4 ,,middle ,,age4--,after middle age the sap of a man's life declines in quantity4 ,a man who intends close application to the ministry1 to scientific or literary pursuits1 where great demands are made upon the brain1 must restrain this passion4 ,the supplies for the brain and nervous system are absorbed1 and the seed diverted through sexual excesses in the marriage relationship1 by fornication1 or by any other form of immorality1 the man's power must decline3 that to this very cause may be attributed the failure and breakdown of so many men of middle age4 #ad4 ,,intoxicating ,,drinks4--,by all means avoid intoxicating drinks4 ,immorality and alcoholic stimulants1 as we have shown1 are intimately related to one another4 ,wine and strong drink inflame the blood1 and heat the passions4 ,attacking the brain1 they warp the judgment1 and weaken the power of restraint4 ,avoid what is called good living3 it is madness to allow the pleasures of the table to corrupt and corrode the human body4 ,we are not designed for gourmands1 much less for educated pigs4 ,cold water bathing1 water as a beverage1 simple and wholesome food1 regularity of sleep1 plenty of exercise2 games such as cricket1 football1 tennis1 boating1 or bicycling1 are among the best possible preventives against lust and animal passion4 #ae4 ,,beware ,,of ,,idleness4--,indolent leisure means an unoccupied mind4 ,when young men lounge along the streets1 in this condition they become an easy prey to the sisterhood of shame and death4 ,bear in mind that evil thoughts precede evil actions4 ,the hand of the worst thief will not steal until the thief within operates upon the hand without4 ,the members of the body which are capable of becoming instruments of sin1 are not involuntary actors4 ,lustful desires must proceed from brain and heart1 ere the fire that consumes burns in the member4 ,illustration3 ,,young ,,lincoln ,,starting ,,to ,,school4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,private ,,talk ,,to ,,young ,,men4 #a4 ,the most valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are capable of the greatest dishonor1 abuse and corruption4 ,what a snare the wonderful organism of the eye may become when used to read corrupt books or look upon licentious scenes at the theatre1 or when used to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot6 ,what an instrument for depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless powers of the brain1 the hand1 the ear1 the mouth1 or the tongue6 ,what potent instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole being for time and eternity6 #b4 ,in like manner the organ concerning the uses of which ,i am to speak1 has been1 and continues to be1 made one of the chief instruments of man's immorality1 shame1 disease1 and death4 ,how important to know what the legitimate uses of this member of the body are1 and how great the dignity conferred upon us in the possession of this gift4 ,on the human side this gift may be truly said to bring men nearer to the high and solemn relationship of the ,creator than any other which they possess4 #c4 ,i first deal with the destructive sin of self-abuse4 ,there can be little doubt that vast numbers of boys are guilty of this practice4 ,in many cases the degrading habit has been taught by others1 e4g41 by elder boys at school1 where association largely results in mutual corruption4 ,with others1 the means of sensual gratification is found out by personal action2 whilst in other cases fallen and depraved men have not hesitated to debauch the minds of mere children by teaching them this debasing practice4 #d4 ,thousands of youths and young men have only to use the looking-glass to see the portrait of one guilty of this loathsome sin4 ,the effects are plainly discernible in the boy's appearance4 ,the face and hands become pale and bloodless4 ,the eye is destitute of its natural fire and lustre4 ,the flesh is soft and flabby1 the muscles limp and lacking healthy firmness4 ,in cases where the habit has become confirmed1 and where the system has been drained of this vital force1 it is seen in positive ugliness1 in a pale and cadaverous appearance1 slovenly gait1 slouching walk1 and an impaired memory4 #e4 ,it is obvious that if the most vital physical force of a boy's life is being spent through this degrading habit--a habit1 be it observed1 of rapid growth1 great strength1 and difficult to break--he must develop badly4 ,in thousands of cases the result is seen in a low stature1 contracted chest1 weak lungs1 and liability to sore throat4 ,tendency to cold1 indigestion1 depression1 drowsiness1 and idleness1 are results distinctly traceable to this deadly practice4 ,pallor of countenance1 nervous and rheumatic affections1 loss of memory1 epilepsy1 paralysis1 and insanity find their principal predisposing cause in the same shameful waste of life4 ,the want of moral force and strength of mind often observable in youths and young men is largely induced by this destructive and deadly sin4 #f4 ,large numbers of youths pass from an exhausted boyhood into the weakness1 intermittent fevers1 and consumption1 which are said to carry off so many4 ,if the deaths were attributed primarily to loss of strength occasioned by self-pollution1 it would be much nearer the truth4 ,it is monstrous to suppose that a boy who comes from healthy parents should decline and die4 ,without a shade of doubt the chief cause of decay and death amongst youths and young men1 is to be traced to this baneful habit4 #g4 ,it is a well-known fact that any man who desires to excel and retain his excellence as an accurate shot1 an oarsman1 a pedestrian1 a pugilist1 a first-class cricketer1 bicyclist1 student1 artist1 or literary man1 must abstain from self-pollution and fornication4 ,thousands of school boys and students lose their positions in the class1 and are plucked at the time of their examination by reason of failure of memory1 through lack of nerve and vital force1 caused mainly by draining the physical frame of the seed which is the vigor of the life4 #h4 ,it is only true to say that thousands of young men in the early stages of a licentious career would rather lose a right hand than have their mothers or sisters know what manner of men they are4 ,from the side of the mothers and sisters it may also be affirmed that1 were they aware of the real character of those brothers and sons1 they would wish that they had never been born4 #i4 ,let it be remembered that sexual desire is not in itself dishonorable or sinful1 any more than hunger1 thirst1 or any other lawful and natural desire is4 ,it is the gratification by unlawful means of this appetite which renders it so corrupting and iniquitous4 #aj4 ,leisure means the opportunity to commit sin4 ,unclean pictures are sought after and feasted upon1 paragraphs relating to cases of divorce and seduction are eagerly read1 papers and books of an immoral character and tendency greedily devoured1 low and disgusting conversation indulged in and repeated4 #aa4 ,the practical and manly counsel to every youth and young man is1 entire abstinence from indulgence of the sexual faculty until such time as the marriage relationship is entered upon4 ,neither is there1 nor can there be1 any exception to this rule4 #ab4 ,no man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him4 ,on the contrary1 self-restraint has been liberty1 strength and blessing4 ,beware of the deceitful streams of temporary gratification1 whose eddying current drifts towards license1 shame1 disease and death4 ,remember1 how quickly moral power declines1 how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom is reached1 how near the vortex1 how terrible the penalty1 how fearful the sentence of everlasting punishment4 #ac4 ,be a young man of principle1 honor1 and preserve your powers4 ,how can you look an innocent girl in the face when you are degrading your manhood with the vilest practice8 ,keep your mind and life pure and nobility will be your crown4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,remedies ,,for ,,the ,,social ,,evil4 #a4 ,,man ,,responsible4--,every great social reform must begin with the male sex4 ,they must either lead1 or give it its support4 ,prostitution is a sin wholly of their own making4 ,all the misery1 all the lust1 as well as all the blighting consequences1 are chargeable wholly to the uncontrolled sexual passion of the male4 ,to reform sinful women1 reform the men4 ,teach them that the physiological truth means permanent moral1 physical and mental benefit1 while seductive indulgence blights and ruins4 #b4 ,,contagious ,,diseases4--,a man or woman cannot long live an impure life without sooner or later contracting disease which brings to every sufferer not only moral degradation1 but often serious and vital injuries and many times death itself becomes the only relief4 #c4 ,,should ,,it ,,be ,,regulated ,,by ,,law8--,dr4 ,g4,j4 ,ziegler1 of ,philadelphia1 in several medical articles says that the act of sexual connection should be made in itself the solemnization of marriage1 and that when any such single act can be proven against an unmarried man1 by an unmarried woman1 the latter be at once invested with all the legal privileges of a wife4 ,by bestowing this power on women very few men would risk the dangers of the society of a dissolute and scheming woman who might exercise the right to force him to a marriage and ruin his reputation and life4 ,the strongest objection of this would be that it would increase the temptation to destroy the purity of married women1 for they could be approached without danger of being forced into another marriage4 ,but this objection could easily be harmonized with a good system of well regulated laws4 ,many means have been tried to mitigate the social evils1 but with little encouragement4 ,in the city of ,paris a system of registration has been inaugurated and houses of prostitution are under the supervision of the police1 yet prostitution has not been in any degree diminished4 ,similar methods have been tried in other ,european towns1 but without satisfactory results4 #d4 ,,moral ,,influence4--,let it be an imperative to every clergyman1 to every educator1 to every statesman and to every philanthropist1 to every father and to every mother1 to impart that moral influence which may guide and direct the youth of the land into the natural channels of morality1 chastity and health4 ,then1 and not till then1 shall we see righteous laws and rightly enforced for the mitigation and extermination of the modern house of prostitution4 ,illustration3 ,a ,,turkish ,,cigarette ,,girl4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,selfish ,,slaves ,,of ,,doses ,,of ,,disease ,,and ,,death4 #a4 ,,most ,,devilish ,,intoxication4--,what is the most devilish1 subtle alluring1 unconquerable1 hopeless and deadly form of intoxication1 with which science struggles and to which it often succumbs2 which eludes the restrictive grasp of legislation2 lurks behind lace curtains1 hides in luxurious boudoirs1 haunts the solitude of the study1 and with waxen face1 furtive eyes and palsied step totters to the secret recesses of its self-indulgence8 ,it is the drunkenness of drugs1 and woe be unto him that crosseth the threshold of its dream-curtained portal1 for though gifted with the strength of ,samson1 the courage of ,richard and the genius of ,archimedes1 he shall never return1 and of him it is written that forever he leaves hope behind4 #b4 ,,the ,,material ,,satan4--,the material ,satan in this sensuous syndicate of soul and body-destroying drugs is opium1 and next in order of hellish potency come cocaine and chloral4 #c4 ,,gum ,,opium4--,gum opium1 from which the sulphate of morphine is made1 is the dried juice of the poppy1 and is obtained principally in the orient4 ,taken in moderate doses it acts specially upon the nervous system1 deadens sensibility1 and the mind becomes inactive4 ,when used habitually and excessively it becomes a tonic1 which stimulates the whole nervous system1 producing intense mental exaltation and delusive visions4 ,when the effects wear off1 proportionate lassitude follows1 which begets an insatiate and insane craving for the drug4 ,under the repeated strain of the continually increasing doses1 which have to be taken to renew the desired effect1 the nervous system finally becomes exhausted1 and mind and body are utterly and hopelessly wrecked4 #d4 ,,cocaine4--,cocaine is extracted from the leaves of the ,peruvian cocoa tree1 and exerts a decided influence upon the nervous system1 somewhat akin to that of coffee4 ,it increases the heart action and is said to be such an exhilarant that the natives of the ,andes are enabled to make extra-ordinary forced marches by chewing the leaves containing it4 ,its after effects are more depressing even than those of opium1 and insanity more frequently results from its use4 #e4 ,,chloral4--,the name which is derived from the first two syllables of chlorine and alcohol1 is made by passing dry chlorine gas in a continuous stream through absolute alcohol for six or eight weeks4 ,it is a hypnotic or sleep-producing drug1 and in moderate doses acts on the caliber of the blood vessels of the brain1 producing a soothing effect1 especially in cases of passive congestion4 ,some patent medicines contain chloral1 bromide and hyoseamus1 and they have a large sale1 being bought by persons of wealth1 who do not know what they are composed of and recklessly take them for the effect they produce4 #f4 ,,victims ,,rapidly ,,increasing4--,from my experience1 said a leading and conservative druggist1 ,i infer that the number of what are termed opium1 cocaine1 and chloral fiends is rapidly increasing1 and is greater by two or three hundred percent than a year ago1 with twice as many women as men represented4 ,i should say that one person out of every fifty is a victim of this frightful habit1 which claims its doomed votaries from the extremes of social life1 those who have the most and the least to live for1 the upper classes and the cyprian1 professional men of the finest intelligence1 fifty per cent4 of whom are doctors and walk into the pit with eyes wide open4 ,and lawyers and other professional men must be added to this fated vice4 #g4 ,,destroys ,,the ,,moral ,,fiber4--,it is a habit which utterly destroys the moral fiber of its slaves1 and makes unmitigated liars and thieves and forgers of them1 and even murder might be added to the list of crimes1 were no other road left open to the gratification of its insatiate and insane appetite4 ,i do not know of a single case in which it has been mastered1 but ,i do know of many where the end has been unspeakable misery1 disgrace1 suffering1 insanity and death4 #h4 ,,shameful ,,death4--,to particularize further would be profitless so far as the beginners are concerned1 but would to heaven that those not within the shadow of this shameful death would take warning from those who are4 ,there are no social or periodical drunkards in this sort of intoxication4 ,the vice is not only solitary1 unsocial and utterly selfish1 but incessant and increasing in its demands4 #i4 ,,appetite ,,stronger ,,than ,,for ,,liquor4--,this appetite is far stronger and more uncontrollable than that for liquor1 and we can spot its victim as readily as though he were an ordinary bummer4 ,he has a pallid complexion1 a shifting1 shuffling manner and can't look you in the face4 ,if you manage to catch his eye for an instant you will observe that its pupil is contracted to an almost invisible point4 ,it is no exaggeration to say that he would barter his very soul for that which indulgence has made him too poor to purchase1 and where artifice fails he will grovel in abject agony of supplication for a few grains4 ,at the same time he resorts to all kinds of miserable and transparent shifts1 to conceal his degradation4 ,he never buys for himself1 but always for some fictitious person1 and often resorts to purchasing from distant points4 #aj4 ,,opium ,,smoking4--,opium smoking1 said another representative druggist1 is almost entirely confined to the ,chinese and they seem to thrive on it4 ,very few others hit the pipe that we know of4 #aa4 ,,malt ,,and ,,alcoholic ,,drunkenness4--,alcoholic stimulants have a record of woe second to nothing4 ,its victims are annually marching to drunkards' graves by the thousands4 ,drunkards may be divided into three classes3 ,first1 the accidental or social drunkard2 second1 the periodical or spasmodic drunkard2 and third1 the sot4 #ab4 ,,the ,,accidental ,,or ,,social ,,drunkard is yet on safe ground4 ,he has not acquired the dangerous craving for liquor4 ,it is only on special occasions that he yields to excessive indulgence2 sometimes in meeting a friend1 or at some political blow-out4 ,on extreme occasions he will indulge until he becomes a helpless victim1 and usually as he grows older occasions will increase1 and step by step he will be lead nearer to the precipice of ruin4 #ac4 ,,the ,,periodical ,,or ,,spasmodic ,,drunkard1 with whom it is always the unexpected which occurs1 and who at intervals exacts from his accumulated capital the usury of as prolonged a spree as his nerves and stomach will stand4 ,science is inclined to charitably label this specimen of man a sort of a physiologic puzzle1 to be as much pitied as blamed4 ,given the benefit of every doubt1 when he starts off on one of his hilarious tangents1 he becomes a howling nuisance2 if he has a family1 keeps them continually on the ragged edge of apprehension1 and is unanimously pronounced a holy terror by his friends4 ,his life and future is an uncertainty4 ,he is unreliable and cannot be long trusted4 ,total reformation is the only hope1 but it rarely is accomplished4 #ad4 ,,the ,,sot4--,a blunt term that needs no defining1 for even the children comprehend the hopeless degradation it implies4 ,laws to restrain and punish him are framed2 societies to protect and reform him are organized1 and mostly in vain4 ,he is prone in life's very gutter2 bloated1 reeking and polluted with the doggery's slops and filth4 ,he can fall but a few feet lower1 and not until he stumbles into an unmarked1 unhonored grave1 where kind mother earth and the merciful mantle of oblivion will cover and conceal the awful wreck he made of ,god's own image4 ,to the casual observer1 the large majority of the community1 these three phases1 at whose vagaries many laugh1 and over whose consequences millions mourn1 comprehend intoxication and its results1 from the filling of the cup to its shattering fall from the nerveless hand1 and this is the end of the matter4 ,would to ,god that it were6 for at that it would be bad enough4 ,but it is not1 for wife1 children and friends must suffer and drink the cup of trouble and sorrow to its dregs4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,object ,,lessons ,,of ,,the ,,effects ,,of ,,alcohol ,,and ,,cigarette ,,smoking4 ,by ,prof4 ,george ,henkle1 who personally made the post-mortem examinations and drew the following illustrations from the diseased organs just as they appeared when first taken from the bodies of the unfortunate victims4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,stomach of an habitual drinker of alcoholic stimulants1 showing the ulcerated condition of the mucous membrane1 incapacitating this important organ for digestive functions4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,stomach 7interior view7 of a healthy person with the first section of the small intestines4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,liver of a drunkard who died of ,cirrhosis of the liver1 also called granular liver1 or gin drinker's liver4 ,the organ is much shrunken and presents rough1 uneven edges1 with carbuncular non-suppurative sores4 ,in this self-inflicted disease the tissues of the liver undergo a cicatrical retraction which strangulates and partly destroys the parenchyma of the liver4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,liver ,,in ,,health4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,kidney of a man who died a drunkard1 showing in upper portion the sores so often found on kidneys of hard drinkers1 and in the lower portion1 the obstruction formed in the internal arrangement of this organ4 ,alcohol is a great enemy to the kidneys1 and after this poison has once set in on its destructive course in these organs no remedial agents are known to exist to stop the already established disease4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,kidney in health1 with the lower section removed1 to show the filtering apparatus 7,malphigian pyramids74 ,natural size4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,lungs ,,and ,,heart of a boy who died from the effects of cigarette smoking1 showing the nicotine sediments in lungs and shrunken condition of the heart4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,lungs ,,and ,,heart ,,in ,,health4 ,illustration3 ,a section of the diseased ,lung of a cigarette smoker1 highly magnified4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,destructive ,,effects ,,of ,,cigarette ,,smoking4 ,cigarettes have been analyzed1 and the most physicians and chemists were surprised to find how much opium is put into them4 ,a tobacconist himself says that the extent to which drugs are used in cigarettes is appalling4 ,havana flavoring for this same purpose is sold everywhere by the thousand barrels4 ,this flavoring is made from the tonka-bean1 which contains a deadly poison4 ,the wrappers1 warranted to be rice paper1 are sometimes made of common paper1 and sometimes of the filthy scrapings of ragpickers bleached white with arsenic4 ,what a thing for human lungs4 ,the habit burns up good health1 good resolutions1 good manners1 good memories1 good faculties1 and often honesty and truthfulness as well4 ,cases of epilepsy1 insanity and death are frequently reported as the result of smoking cigarettes1 while such physicians as ,dr4 ,lewis ,sayre1 ,dr4 ,hammond1 and ,sir ,morell ,mackenzie of ,england1 name heart trouble1 blindness1 cancer and other diseases as occasioned by it4 ,leading physicians of ,america unanimously condemn cigarette smoking as one of the vilest and most destructive evils that ever befell the youth of any country1 declaring that its direct tendency is a deterioration of the race4 ,look at the pale1 wilted complexion of a boy who indulges to excessive cigarette smoking4 ,it takes no physician to diagnose his case1 and death will surely mark for his own every boy and young man who will follow up the habit4 ,it is no longer a matter of guess4 ,it is a scientific fact which the microscope in every case verifies4 ,illustration3 ,illustrating the shrunken condition of one of the ,lungs of an excessive smoker ,illustration3 ,,innocent ,,youth4 99 99 99 99 99 ,the ,dangerous ,vices4 ,few persons are aware of the extent to which masturbation or self-pollution is practiced by the young of both sexes in civilized society4 ,,symptoms4 ,the hollow1 sunken eye1 the blanched cheek1 the withered hands1 and emaciated frame1 and the listless life1 have other sources than the ordinary illnesses of all large communities4 ,when a child1 after having given proofs of memory and intelligence1 experiences daily more and more difficulty in retaining and understanding what is taught him1 it is not only from unwillingness and idleness1 as is commonly supposed1 but from a disease eating out life itself1 brought on by a self-abuse of the private organs4 ,besides the slow and progressive derangement of his or her health1 the diminished energy of application1 the languid movement1 the stooping gait1 the desertion of social games1 the solitary walk1 late rising1 livid and sunken eye1 and many other symptoms1 will fix the attention of every intelligent and competent guardian of youth that something is wrong4 ,illustration3 ,,guard ,,well ,,the ,,cradle4 ,,education ,,cannot ,,begin ,,too ,,young4 ,,married ,,people4 ,nor are many persons sufficiently aware of the ruinous extent to which the amative propensity is indulged by married persons4 ,the matrimonial ceremony does1 indeed1 sanctify the act of sexual intercourse1 but it can by no means atone for nor obviate the consequences of its abuse4 ,excessive indulgence in the married relation is1 perhaps1 as much owing to the force of habit1 as to the force of the sexual appetite4 ,,extreme ,,youth4 ,more lamentable still is the effect of inordinate sexual excitement of the young and unmarried4 ,it is not very uncommon to find a confirmed onanist1 or1 rather1 masturbator1 who has not yet arrived at the period of puberty4 ,many cases are related in which young boys and girls1 from eight to ten years of age1 were taught the method of self-pollution by their older playmates1 and had made serious encroachments on the fund of constitutional vitality even before any considerable degree of sexual appetite was developed4 ,,force ,,of ,,habit4 ,here1 again1 the fault was not in the power of passion1 but in the force of habit4 ,parents and guardians of youth can not be too mindful of the character and habits of those with whom they allow young persons and children under their charge to associate intimately1 and especially careful should they be with whom they allow them to sleep4 ,,sin ,,of ,,ignorance4 ,it is customary to designate self-pollution as among the vices4 ,i think misfortune is the more appropriate term4 ,it is true1 that in the physiological sense1 it is one of the very worst transgressions of the law4 ,but in the moral sense it is generally the sin of ignorance in the commencement1 and in the end the passive submission to a morbid and almost resistless impulse4 ,,quacks4 ,the time has come when the rising generation must be thoroughly instructed in this matter4 ,that quack specific ignorance has been experimented with quite too long already4 ,the true method of insuring all persons1 young or old1 against the abuses of any part1 organ1 function1 or faculty of the wondrous machinery of life1 is to teach them its use4 ,train a child in the way it should go or be sure it will1 amid the ten thousand surrounding temptations1 find out a way in which it should not go4 ,keeping a child in ignorant innocence is1 ,i aver1 no part of the training which has been taught by a wiser than ,solomon4 ,boys and girls do know1 will know1 and must know1 that between them are important anatomical differences and interesting physiological relations4 ,teach them1 ,i repeat1 their use1 or expect their abuse4 ,hardly a young person in the world would ever become addicted to self-pollution if he or she understood clearly the consequences2 if he or she knew at the outset that the practice was directly destroying the bodily stamina1 vitiating the moral tone1 and enfeebling the intellect4 ,no one would pursue the disgusting habit if he or she was fully aware that it was blasting all prospects of health and happiness in the approaching period of manhood and womanhood4 ,,general ,,symptoms ,,of ,,the ,,secret ,,habit4 ,the effects of either self-pollution or excessive sexual indulgence1 appear in many forms4 ,it would seem as if ,god had written an instinctive law of remonstrance1 in the innate moral sense1 against this filthy vice4 ,all who give themselves up to the excesses of this debasing indulgence1 carry about with them1 continually1 a consciousness of their defilement1 and cherish a secret suspicion that others look upon them as debased beings4 ,they feel none of that manly confidence and gallant spirit1 and chaste delight in the presence of virtuous females1 which stimulate young men to pursue the course of ennobling refinement1 and mature them for the social relations and enjoyments of life4 ,this shamefacedness1 or unhappy quailing of the countenance1 on meeting the look of others1 often follows them through life1 in some instances even after they have entirely abandoned the habit1 and became married men and respectable members of society4 ,in some cases1 the only complaint the patient will make on consulting you1 is that he is suffering under a kind of continued fever4 ,he will probably present a hot1 dry skin1 with something of a hectic appearance4 ,though all the ordinary means of arresting such symptoms have been tried1 he is none the better4 ,the sleep seems to be irregular and unrefreshing--restlessness during the early part of the night1 and in the advanced stages of the disease1 profuse sweats before morning4 ,there is also frequent starting in the sleep1 from disturbing dreams4 ,the characteristic feature is1 that your patient almost always dreams of sexual intercourse4 ,this is one of the earliest1 as well as most constant symptoms4 ,when it occurs most frequently1 it is apt to be accompanied with pain4 ,a gleety discharge from the urethra may also be frequently discovered1 especially if the patient examine when at stool or after urinating4 ,other common symptoms are nervous headache1 giddiness1 ringing in the ears1 and a dull pain in the back part of the head4 ,it is frequently the case that the patient suffers a stiffness in the neck1 darting pains in the forehead1 and also weak eyes are among the common symptoms4 ,one very frequent1 and perhaps early symptom 7especially in young females7 is solitariness--a disposition to seclude themselves from society4 ,although they may be tolerably cheerful when in company1 they prefer rather to be alone4 ,the countenance has often a gloomy and worn-down expression4 ,the patient's friends frequently notice a great change4 ,large livid spots under the eyes is a common feature4 ,sudden flashes of heat may be noticed passing over the patient's face4 ,he is liable also to palpitations4 ,the pulse is very variable1 generally too slow4 ,extreme emaciation1 without any other assignable cause for it1 may be set down as another very common symptom4 ,if the evil has gone on for several years1 there will be a general unhealthy appearance1 of a character so marked as to enable an experienced observer at once to detect the cause4 ,in the case of onanists especially there is a peculiar rank odor emitted from the body1 by which they may be readily distinguished4 ,one striking peculiarity of all these patients is1 that they cannot look a man in the face6 ,cowardice is constitutional with them4 ,,home ,,treatment ,,of ,,the ,,secret ,,habit4 #a4 ,the first condition of recovery is a prompt and permanent abandonment of the ruinous habit4 ,without a faithful adherence to this prohibitory law on the part of the patient all medication on the part of the physician will assuredly fail4 ,the patient must plainly understand that future prospects1 character1 health1 and life itself1 depend on an unfaltering resistance to the morbid solicitation2 with the assurance1 however1 that a due perseverance will eventually render1 what now seems like a resistless and overwhelming propensity1 not only controllable but perfectly loathsome and undesirable4 #b4 ,keep the mind employed by interesting the patient in the various topics of the day1 and social features of the community4 #c4 ,plenty of bodily out of door exercise1 hoeing in the garden1 walking1 or working on the farm2 of course not too heavy work must be indulged in4 #d4 ,if the patient is weak and very much emaciated1 cod liver oil is an excellent remedy4 #e4 ,,diet4 ,the patient should live principally on brown bread1 oat meal1 graham crackers1 wheat meal1 cracked or boiled wheat1 or hominy1 and food of that character4 ,no meats should be indulged in whatever2 milk diet if used by the patient is an excellent remedy4 ,plenty of fruit should be indulged in2 dried toast and baked apples make an excellent supper4 ,the patient should eat early in the evening1 never late at night4 #f4 ,avoid all tea1 coffee1 or alcoholic stimulants of any kind4 #g4 ,early to bed and early to rise1 should be the motto of every victim of this vice4 ,a patient should take a cold bath every morning after rising4 ,a cold water injection in moderate quantities before retiring has cured many patients4 #h4 ,if the above remedies are not sufficient1 a family physician should be consulted4 #i4 ,never let children sleep together1 if possible1 to avoid it4 ,discourage the children of neighbors and friends from sleeping with your children4 #aj4 ,have your children rise early4 ,it is the lying in bed in the morning that plays the mischief4 ,illustration3 ,healthy ,semen1 ,greatly ,magnified4 ,illustration3 ,the ,semen of a ,victim of ,masturbation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,nocturnal ,,emissions4 ,involuntary emissions of semen during amorous dreams at night is not at all uncommon among healthy men4 ,when this occurs from one to three or four times a month1 no anxiety or concern need be felt4 ,when the emissions take place without dreams1 manifested only by stained spots in the morning on the linen1 or take place at stool and are entirely beyond control1 then the patient should at once seek for remedies or consult a competent physician4 ,when blood stains are produced1 then medical aid must be sought at once4 ,,home ,,treatment ,,for ,,nocturnal ,,emissions4 ,sleep in a hard bed1 and rise early and take a sponge bath in cold water every morning4 ,eat light suppers and refrain from eating late in the evening4 ,empty the bladder thoroughly before retiring1 bathe the spine and hips with a sponge dipped in cold water4 ,never sleep lying on the back4 ,avoid all highly seasoned food and read good books1 and keep the mind well employed4 ,take regular and vigorous outdoor exercise every day4 ,avoid all coffee1 tea1 wine1 beer and all alcoholic liquors4 ,don't use tobacco1 and keep the bowels free4 ,illustration3 ,healthy ,testicle4 ,illustration3 ,a ,testicle wasted by ,masturbation4 ,,prescription4--,ask your druggist to put you up a good ,iron ,tonic and take it regularly according to his directions4 ,,beware ,,of ,,advertising ,,quacks4 ,beware of these advertising schemes that advertise a speedy cure for ,loss of ,youth1 ,lost ,vitality1 ,a ,cure for ,impotency1 ,renewing of ,old ,age1 etc4 ,do not allow these circulating pamphlets and circulars to concern you the least4 ,if you have a few ,nocturnal ,emissions1 remember it is only a mark of vitality and health1 and not a sign of a deathly disease1 as many of these advertising quacks would lead you to believe4 ,use your private organs only for what your ,creator intended they should be used1 and there will be no occasion for you to be frightened by the deception of quacks4 ,illustration3 ,,the ,,two ,,paths--,what ,will ,the ,boy ,become8 ,at #ae3 ,,study ,,cleanliness ,at #be3 ,,purity ,,economy ,at #cf3 ,,honorable ,,success ,at #fj3 ,,venerable ,,old ,,age ,at #ae3 ,,cigarettes ,,self-,,abuse ,at #be3 ,,impurity ,,dissipation ,at #cf3 ,,vice ,,degeneracy ,at #fj3 ,,moral-,,physical ,,wreck 99 99 99 99 99 ,,lost ,,manhood ,,restored4 #a4 ,,resolute ,,desistence4--,the first step towards the restoration of lost manhood is a resolute desistence from these terrible sins4 ,each time the temptation is overcome1 the power to resist becomes stronger1 and the fierce fire declines4 ,each time the sin is committed1 its hateful power strengthens1 and the fire of lust is increased4 ,remember1 that you cannot commit these sins1 and maintain health and strength4 #b4 ,,avoid ,,being ,,alone4--,avoid being alone when the temptation comes upon you to commit self-abuse4 ,change your thoughts at once2 keep the heart diligently1 for out of it are the issues of life4 #c4 ,,avoid ,,evil ,,companions4--,avoid evil companions1 lewd conversation1 bad pictures1 corrupt and vicious novels1 books1 and papers4 ,abstain from all intoxicating drinks4 ,these inflame the blood1 excite the passions1 and stimulate sensuality2 weakening the power of the brain1 they always impair the power of self-restraint4 ,smoking is very undesirable4 ,keep away from the moral pesthouses4 ,remember that these houses are the great resort of fallen and depraved men and women4 ,the music1 singing1 and dancing are simply a blind to cover the intemperance and lust1 which hold high carnival in these guilded hells4 ,this1 be it remembered1 is equally true of the great majority of the theatres4 #d4 ,,avoid ,,strong ,,tea1 ,,or ,,coffee4--,take freely of cocoa1 milk1 and bread and milk1 or oatmeal porridge4 ,meats1 such as beef and mutton1 use moderately4 ,we would strongly recommend to young men of full habit1 vegetarian diet4 ,fruits in their season1 partake liberally2 also fresh vegetables4 ,brown bread and toast1 as also rice1 and similar puddings1 are always suitable4 ,avoid rich pastry and new bread4 #e4 ,,three ,,meals ,a ,,day ,,are ,,abundant4--,avoid suppers1 and be careful1 if troubled with nightly emissions1 not to take any liquid1 not even water1 after seven o'clock in the evening1 at latest4 ,this will diminish the secretions of the body1 when asleep1 and the consequent emissions1 which in the early hours of the morning usually follow the taking of any kind of drink4 ,do not be anxious or troubled by an occasional emission1 say1 for example1 once a fortnight4 #f4 ,,rest ,,on ,a ,,hard ,,mattress4--,keep the body cool when asleep2 heat arising from a load of bed-clothes1 is most undesirable4 ,turn down the counterpane1 and let the air have free course through the blankets4 #g4 ,,relieve ,,the ,,system4--,as much as possible relieve the system of urine before going to sleep4 ,on rising1 bathe if practicable4 ,if you cannot bear cold water1 take the least possible chill off the water 7cold water1 however1 is best74 ,if bathing is not practicable1 wash the body with cold water1 and keep scrupulously clean4 ,the reaction caused by cold water1 is most desirable4 ,rub the body dry with a rough towel4 ,drink a good draught of cold water4 #h4 ,,exercise4--,get fifteen minutes' brisk walk1 if possible before breakfast4 ,if any sense of faintness exists1 eat a crust of bread1 or biscuit4 ,be regular in your meals1 and do not fear to make a hearty breakfast4 ,this lays a good foundation for the day4 ,take daily good1 but not violent exercise4 ,walk until you can distinctly feel the tendency to perspiration4 ,this will keep the pores of the skin open and in healthy condition4 #i4 ,,medicines4--,take the medicines1 if used1 regularly and carefully4 ,bromide of ,potassium is a most valuable remedy in allaying lustful and heated passions and appetites4 ,unless there is actual venereal disease1 medicine should be very little resorted to4 #aj4 ,,avoid ,,the ,,streets ,,at ,,night4--,beware of corrupt companions4 ,fast young men and women should be shunned everywhere4 ,cultivate a taste for good reading and evening studies4 ,home life with its gentle restraints1 pure friendships1 and healthful discipline1 should be highly valued4 ,there is no liberty like that of a well-regulated home4 ,to large numbers of young men in business houses1 home life is impracticable4 #aa4 ,,be ,,of ,,good ,,cheer ,,and ,,courage4--,recovery will be gradual1 and not sudden2 vital force is developed slowly from within4 ,the object aimed at by medicine and counsel1 is to aid and increase nervous and physical vigor1 and give tone to the demoralized system4 ,do not pay the slightest heed to the exaggerated statements of the wretched quack doctors1 who advertise everywhere4 ,avoid them as you would a pestilence4 ,their great object is1 through exciting your fears1 to get you into their clutches1 in order to oppress you with heavy and unjust payments4 ,be careful1 not to indulge in fancies1 or morbid thoughts and feelings4 ,be hopeful1 and play the part of a man determined to overcome4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,manhood ,,wrecked ,,and ,,rescued4 #a4 ,,the ,,noblest ,,functions ,,of ,,manhood4--,the noblest functions of manhood are brought into action in the office of the parent4 ,it is here that man assumes the prerogative of a ,god and becomes a creator4 ,how essential that every function of his physical system should be perfect1 and every faculty of his mind free from that which would degrade2 yet how many drag their purity through the filth of masturbation1 revel in the orgies of the debauchee1 and worship at the shrine of the prostitute1 until1 like a tree blighted by the livid lightning1 they stand with all their outward form of men1 but without life4 #b4 ,,threshold ,,of ,,honor4--,think of a man like that2 in whom the passions and vices have burned themselves out1 putting on the airs of a saint and claiming to have reformed4 ,aye1 reformed1 when there is no longer sweetness in the indulgence of lust4 ,think of such loathsome bestiality1 dragging its slimy body across the threshold of honor and nobility and asking a pure woman1 with the love-light of heaven in her eyes1 to pass her days with him2 to accept him as her lord2 to be satisfied with the burnt-out1 shriveled forces of manhood left2 to sacrifice her purity that he may be redeemed1 and to respect in a husband what she would despise in the brute4 #c4 ,,stop4--,if you are1 then1 on the highway to this state of degradation1 stop4 ,if already you have sounded the depths of lost manhood1 then turn1 and from the fountain of life regain your power1 before you perpetrate the terrible crime of marriage1 thus wrecking a woman's life and perhaps bringing into the world children who will live only to suffer and curse the day on which they were born and the father who begat them4 #d4 ,,sexual ,,impotency4--,sexual impotency means sexual starvation1 and drives many wives to ruin1 while a similar lack among wives drives husbands to libertinism4 ,nothing so enhances the happiness of married couples as this full1 life-abounding1 sexual vigor in the husband1 thoroughly reciprocated by the wife1 yet completely controlled by both4 #e4 ,,two ,,classes ,,of ,,sufferers4--,there are two classes of sufferers4 ,first1 those who have only practiced self-abuse and are suffering from emissions4 ,second1 those who by overindulgence in marital relations1 or by dissipation with women1 have ruined their forces4 #f4 ,,the ,,remedy4--,for self-abuse3 ,when the young man has practiced self-abuse for some time1 he finds1 upon quitting the habit1 that he has nightly emissions4 ,he becomes alarmed1 reads every sensational advertisement in the papers1 and at once comes to the conclusion that he must take something4 ,drugs are not necessary4 #g4 ,,stop ,,the ,,cause4--,the one thing needful1 above all others1 is to stop the cause4 ,i have found that young men are invariably mistaken as to what is the cause4 ,when asked as to the first cause of their trouble1 they invariably say it was self-abuse1 etc41 but it is not4 ,it is the thought4 ,this precedes the handling1 and1 like every other cause1 must be removed in order to have right results4 #h4 ,,stop ,,the ,,thought4--,but remember1 stop the thought6 ,you must not look after every woman with lustful thoughts1 nor go courting girls who will allow you to hug1 caress and kiss them1 thus rousing your passions almost to a climax4 ,do not keep the company of those whose only conversation is of a lewd and depraved character1 but keep the company of those ladies who awaken your higher sentiments and nobler impulses1 who appeal to the intellect and rouse your aspiration1 in whose presence you would no more feel your passions aroused than in the presence of your own mother4 #i4 ,,you ,,will ,,get ,,well4--,remember you will get well4 ,don't fear4 ,fear destroys strength and therefore increases the trouble4 ,many get downhearted1 discouraged1 despairing--the very worst thing that can happen1 doing as much harm1 and in many cases more1 than their former dissipation4 ,brooding kills2 hope enlivens4 ,then sing with joy that the savior of knowledge has vanquished the death-dealing ignorance of the past2 that the glorious strength of manhood has awakened and cast from you forever the grinning skeleton of vice4 ,be your better self1 proud that your thoughts in the day-time are as pure as you could wish your dreams to be at night4 #aj4 ,,helps4--,do not use tobacco or liquor4 ,they inflame the passions and irritate the nervous system2 they only gratify base appetites and never rouse the higher feelings4 ,highly spiced food should be eschewed1 not chewed4 ,meat should be eaten sparingly1 and never at the last meal4 #aa4 ,,don',t ,,eat ,,too ,,much4--,if not engaged in hard physical labor1 try eating two meals a day4 ,never neglect the calls of nature1 and if possible have a passage from the bowels every night before retiring4 ,when this is not done the feces often drop into the rectum during sleep1 producing heat which extends to the sexual organs1 causing the lascivious dreams and emission4 ,this will be noticed especially in the morning1 when the feces usually distend the rectum and the person nearly always awakes with sexual passions aroused4 ,if necessary1 use injections into the rectum of from one to two quarts of water1 blood heat1 two or three times a week4 ,be sure to keep clean and see to it that no matter collects under the foreskin4 ,wash off the organ every night and take a quick1 cold hand-bath every morning4 ,have something to do4 ,never be idle4 ,idleness always worships at the shrine of passion4 #ab4 ,,the ,,worst ,,time ,,of ,,all4--,many are ruined by allowing their thoughts to run riot in the morning4 ,owing to the passions being roused as stated above1 the young man lies half awake and half dozing1 rousing his passions and reveling in lascivious thought for hours perhaps1 thus completely sapping the fountains of purity1 establishing habits of vice that will bind him with iron bands1 and doing his physical system more injury than if he had practiced self-abuse1 and had the emission in a few minutes4 ,jump out of bed at once on waking1 and never allow the thought to master you4 #ac4 ,a ,,hand ,,bath4--,a hand bath in cold water every morning will diminish those rampant sexual cravings1 that crazy1 burning1 lustful desire so sensualizing to men by millions2 lessen prostitution by toning down that passion which alone patronizes it1 and relieve wives by the millions of those excessive conjugal demands which ruin their sexual health2 besides souring their tempers1 and then demanding millions of money for resultant doctor bills4 #ad4 ,,will ,,get ,,well4--,feel no more concern about yourself4 ,say to yourself1 ,i shall and will get well under this treatment1 as you certainly will4 ,pluck is half the battle4 ,mind acts and reads directly on the sexual organs4 ,determining to get well gets you well2 whilst all fear that you will become worse makes you worse4 ,all worrying over your case as if it were hopeless1 all moody and despondent feelings1 tear the life right out of these organs1 whilst hopefulness puts new life into them4 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,innocent ,,childhood4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,curse ,,and ,,consequence ,,of ,,secret ,,diseases4 #a4 ,,the ,,sins ,,of ,,the ,,fathers ,,are ,,visited ,,on ,,the ,,children4--,if persons who contract secret diseases were the only sufferers1 there would be less pity and less concern manifested by the public and medical profession4 #b4 ,there are many secret diseases which leave an hereditary taint1 and innocent children and grandchildren are compelled to suffer as well as those who committed the immoral act4 #c4 ,,gonorrhoea 7,clap7 is liable to leave the parts sensitive and irritable1 and the miseries of spermatorrhoea1 impotence1 chronic rheumatism1 stricture and other serious ailments may follow4 #d4 ,,syphilis 7,pox74--,statistics prove that over #cj per cent4 of the children born alive perish within the first year4 ,outside of this frightful mortality1 how many children are born1 inheriting eruptions of the skin1 foul ulcerations swelling of the bones1 weak eyes or blindness1 scrofula1 idiocy1 stunted growth1 and finally insanity1 all on account of the father's early vices4 ,the weaknesses and afflictions of parents are by natural laws visited upon their children4 #e4 ,the mother often takes the disease from her husband1 and she becomes an innocent sufferer to the dreaded disease4 ,however1 some other name generally is applied to the disease1 and with perfect confidence in her husband she suffers pain all her life1 ignorant of the true cause4 ,her children have diseases of the eyes1 skin1 glands and bones1 and the doctor will apply the term scrofula1 when the result is nothing more or less than inherited syphilis4 ,let every man remember1 the vengeance to a vital law knows only justice1 not mercy1 and a single moment of illicit pleasure will bring many curses upon him1 and drain out the life of his innocent children1 and bring a double burden of disease and sorrow to his wife4 #f4 ,if any man who has been once diseased is determined to marry1 he should have his constitution tested thoroughly and see that every seed of the malady in the system has been destroyed4 ,he should bathe daily in natural sulphur waters1 as1 for instance1 the hot springs in ,arkansas1 or the sulphur springs in ,florida1 or those springs known as specific remedies for syphilic diseases4 ,as long as the eruptions on the skin appear by bathing in sulphur water there is danger1 and if the eruptions cease and do not appear1 it is very fair evidence that the disease has left the system1 yet it is not an infallible test4 #g4 ,how many bright and intelligent young men have met their doom and blighted the innocent lives of others1 all on account of the secret follies and vices of men4 #h4 ,,protection4--,girls1 you1 who are too poor and too honest to disguise aught in your character1 with your sweet soul shining through every act of your lives1 beware of the men who smile upon you4 ,study human nature1 and try and select a virtuous companion4 #aj4 ,,syphilitic ,,poison ,,ineradicable4--,many of our best and ablest physicians assert that syphilitic poison1 once infected1 there can be no total disinfection during life2 some of the virus remains in the system1 though it may seem latent4 ,boards of ,state ,charities in discussing the causes of the existence of whole classes of defectives hold to the opinion given above4 ,the ,massachusetts board in its report has these strong words on the subject3 ,the worst is that1 though years may have passed since its active stage1 it permeates the very seed of life and causes strange affections or abnormalities in the offspring1 or it tends to lessen their vital force1 to disturb or to repress their growth1 to lower their standard of mental and bodily vigor1 and to render life puny and short4 #aa4 ,a ,,serpent',s ,,tooth4--,the direct blood-poisoning1 caused by the absorption into the system of the virus 7syphilis7 is more hideous and terrible in its effect than that of a serpent's tooth4 ,this may kill outright1 and there's an end2 but that1 stingless and painless1 slowly and surely permeates and vitiates the whole system of which it becomes part and parcel1 like myriads of trichinae1 and can never be utterly cast out1 even by salivation4 ,woe to the family and to the people in whose veins the poison courses6 ,it would seem that nothing could end the curse except utter extermination4 ,that1 however1 would imply a purpose of eternal vengeance1 involving the innocent with the guilty4 ,this disease compared with small-pox is as an ulcer upon a finger to an ulcer in the vitals4 ,small-pox does not vitiate the blood of a people2 this disease does4 ,its existence in a primary form implies moral turpitude4 #ab4 ,,cases ,,cited4--,many cases might be cited4 ,we give but one4 ,a man who had contracted the disease reformed his ways and was apparently cured4 ,he married1 and although living a moral life was compelled to witness in his little girl's eye-balls1 her gums1 and her breath the result of his past sins4 ,no suffering1 no expense1 no effort would have been too great could he but be assured that his offspring might be freed from these results4 #ac4 ,,prevention ,,better ,,than ,,cure4--,here is a case where the old adage1 ,an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure1 may be aptly applied4 ,our desire would be to herald to all young men in stentorian tones the advice1 ,avoid as a deadly enemy any approaches or probable pitfalls of the disease4 ,let prevention be your motto and then you need not look for a cure4 #ad4 ,,help ,,proffered4--,realizing the sad fact that many are afflicted with this disease we would put forth our utmost powers to help even these1 and hence give on the following pages some of the best methods of cure4 ,,how ,,to ,,cure ,,gonorrhoea 7,clap74 ,,causes1 ,,impure ,,connections1 ,,etc4 ,,symptoms4--,as the disease first commences to manifest itself1 the patient notices a slight itching at the point of the male organ1 which is shortly followed by a tingling or smarting sensation1 especially on making water4 ,this is on account of the inflammation1 which now gradually extends backward1 until the whole canal is involved4 ,the orifice of the urethra is now noticed to be swollen and reddened1 and on inspection a slight discharge will be found to be present4 ,and if the penis is pressed between the finger and thumb1 matter or pus exudes4 ,as the inflammatory stage commences1 the formation of pus is increased1 which changes from a thin to a thick yellow color1 accompanied by a severe scalding on making water4 ,the inflammation increases up to the fifth day1 often causing such pain1 on urinating1 that the patient is tortured severely4 ,when the disease reaches its height1 the erections become somewhat painful1 when the discharge may be streaked with blood4 ,,home ,,treatment4 ,first1 see that the bowels are loose--if not1 a cathartic should be given4 ,if the digestive powers are impaired1 they should be corrected and the general health looked after4 ,if the system is in a good condition1 give internally five drops of gelseminum every two hours4 ,the first thing to be thought of is to pluck the disease in its bud1 which is best done by injections4 ,the best of these are3 tinct4 hydrastis1 one drachm2 pure water1 four ounces2 to be used three times a day after urinating4 ,zinc1 sulphate1 ten grains2 pure water1 eight ounces2 to be used after urinating every morning and night4 ,equal parts of red wine and pure water are often used1 and are of high repute1 as also one grain of permanganate of potash to four ounces of water4 ,if the above remedies are ineffectual1 a competent physician should be consulted4 ,,general ,,treatment4--,one of the best injections for a speedy cure is3 ,hydrastis1 #a oz4 ,water1 #e oz4 ,mix and with a small syringe inject into the penis four or five times a day after urinating1 until relieved1 and diminish the number of injections as the disease disappears4 ,no medicine per mouth need be given1 unless the patient is in poor health4 ,,syphilis 7,,pox74 #a4 ,this is the worst of all diseases except cancer--no tissue of the body escapes the ravages of this dreadful disease--bone1 muscle1 teeth1 skin and every part of the body are destroyed by its deforming and corroding influence4 #b4 ,,symptoms4--,about eight days after the exposure a little redness and then a pimple1 which soon becomes an open sore1 makes its appearance1 on or about the end of the penis in males or on the external or inner parts of the uterus of females4 ,pimples and sores soon multiply1 and after a time little hard lumps appear in the groin1 which soon develop into a blue tumor called bubo4 ,copper colored spots may appear in the face1 hair fall out1 etc4 ,canker and ulcerations in the mouth and various parts of the body soon develop4 #c4 ,,treatment4--,secure the very best physician your means will allow without delay4 #d4 ,,local ,,treatment ,,of ,,buboes4--,to prevent suppuration1 treatment must be instituted as soon as they appear4 ,compresses1 wet in a solution composed of half an ounce of muriate of ammonia1 three drachms of the fluid extract of belladonna1 and a pint of water1 are beneficial1 and should be continuously applied4 ,the tumor may be scattered by painting it once a day with tincture of iodine4 #e4 ,,for ,,eruptions4--,the treatment of these should be mainly constitutional4 ,perfect cleanliness should be observed1 and the sulphur1 spirit vapor1 or alkaline bath freely used4 ,good diet and the persistent use of alteratives will generally prove successful in removing this complication4 ,,recipe ,,for ,,syphilis4 ,bin-iodide of mercury1 #a gr4 ,extract of licorice1 #cb gr4 ,make into #af pills4 ,take one morning and night4 ,,lotion4 ,bichloride of mercury1 #ae gr4 ,lime water1 #a pt4 ,shake well1 and wash affected parts night and morning4 ,,for ,,eruptions ,,on ,,tongue4 ,cyanide of silver1 #a_/b gr4 ,powdered iridis1 #b gr4 ,divide into #aj parts4 ,to be rubbed on tongue once a day4 ,,for ,,eruptions ,,in ,,syphilis4 ,a #e per cent4 ointment of carbolic acid1 in a good preparation4 ,,bubo4 ,,treatment4 ,warm poultice of linseed meal1 ,mercurial plaster1 ,lead ointment4 ,,gleet 7,,chronic ,,clap74 #a4 ,,symptoms4--,when gonorrhoea is not cured at the end of twenty-one or twenty-eight days1 at which time all discharge should have ceased1 we have a condition known as chronic clap1 which is nothing more or less than gleet4 ,at this time most of the symptoms have abated1 and the principal one needing medical attention is the discharge1 which is generally thin1 and often only noticed in the morning on arising1 when a scab will be noticed1 glutinating the lips of the external orifice4 ,or1 on pressing with the thumb and finger from behind1 forward1 a thin1 white discharge can be noticed4 #b4 ,,home ,,treatment4--,the diet of patients affected with this disease is all-important1 and should have careful attention4 ,the things that should be avoided are highly spiced and stimulating foods and drinks1 as all forms of alcohol1 or those containing acids4 ,indulgence in impure thoughts is often sufficient to keep a discharge1 on account of the excitement it produces to the sensitive organs1 thus inducing erections1 which always do harm4 #c4 ,,general ,,treatment4--,the best injection is3 ,nitrate of silver1 #a_/d grain ,pure water1 #a oz4 ,inject three or four times a day after urinating4 ,,stricture ,,of ,,the ,,urethra4 ,,symptoms4--,the patient experiences difficulty in voiding the urine1 several ineffectual efforts being made before it will flow4 ,the stream is diminished in size1 of a flattened or spiral form1 or divided in two or more parts1 and does not flow with the usual force4 ,,treatment4--,it is purely a surgical case and a competent surgeon must be consulted4 ,,phimosis4 #a4 ,,cause4--,is a morbid condition of the penis1 in which the glans penis cannot be uncovered1 either on account of a congenital smallness of the orifice of the foreskin1 or it may be due to the acute stage of gonorrhoea1 or caused by the presence of soft chancre4 #b4 ,,symptoms4--,it is hardly necessary to give a description of the symptoms occurring in this condition1 for it will be easily diagnosed1 and its appearances are so indicative that all that is necessary is to study into its cause and treat the disease with reference to that4 ,,treatment4--,if caused from acute gonorrhoea1 it should be treated first by hot fomentations1 to subdue the swelling1 when the glans penis can be uncovered4 ,if the result of the formation of chancre under the skin1 they should be treated by a surgeon1 for it may result in the sloughing off of the end of the penis1 unless properly treated4 ,illustration3 ,,illustrating ,,magnetic ,,influences4 ,,animal ,,magnetism ,,is ,,supposed ,,to ,,radiate ,,from ,,and ,,encircle ,,every ,,human ,,being4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,animal ,,magnetism4 ,,what ,,it ,,is ,,and ,,how ,,to ,,use ,,it4 #a4 ,,magnetism ,,existing ,,between ,,the ,,bodies ,,of ,,mankind4--,it is rational to believe that there is a magnetism existing between the bodies of mankind1 which may have either a beneficial or a damaging effect upon our health1 according to the conditions which are produced1 or the nature of the individuals who are brought in contact with each other4 ,as an illustration of this point we might consider that1 all nature is governed by the laws of attraction and repulsion1 or in other words1 by positive and negative forces4 ,these subtle forces or laws in nature which we call attraction or repulsion1 are governed by the affinity--or sameness--or the lack of affinity--or sameness--which exists between what may be termed the combination of atoms or molecules which goes to make up organic structure4 #b4 ,,law ,,of ,,attraction4--,where this affinity--or sameness--exists between the different things1 there is what we term the law of attraction1 or what may be termed the disposition to unite together4 ,where there is no affinity existing between the nature of the different particles of matter1 there is what may be termed the law of repulsion1 which has a tendency to destroy the harmony which would otherwise take place4 #c4 ,,magnetism ,,of ,,the ,,mind4--,now1 what is true of the magnet and steel1 is also true--from the sameness of their nature--of two bodies4 ,and what is true of the body in this sense1 is also true of the sameness or magnetism of the mind4 ,hence1 by the laying on of hands1 or by the association of the minds of individuals1 we reach the same result as when a combination is produced in any department of nature4 ,where this sameness of affinity exists1 there will be a blending of forces1 which has a tendency to build up vitality4 #d4 ,a ,,proof4--,as a proof of this position1 how often have you found the society of strangers to be so repulsive to your feelings1 that you have no disposition to associate4 ,others seem to bring with them a soothing influence that draws you closer to them4 ,all these involuntary likes and dislikes are but the results of the animal magnetism that we are constantly throwing off from our bodies1--although seemingly imperceptible to our internal senses4--,the dog can scent his master1 and determine the course which he pursues1 no doubt from similar influences4 #e4 ,,home ,,harmony4--,many of the infirmities that afflict humanity are largely due to a want of an understanding of its principles1 and the right applications of the same4 ,i believe that if this law of magnetism was more fully understood and acted upon1 there would be a far greater harmony in the domestic circle2 the health of parents and children might often be preserved where now sickness and discord so frequently prevail4 #f4 ,,the ,,law ,,of ,,magnetism4--,when two bodies are brought into contact with each other1 the weak must naturally draw from the strong until both have become equal4 ,and as long as this equality exists there will be perfect harmony between individuals1 because of the reciprocation which exists in their nature4 #g4 ,,survival ,,of ,,the ,,fittest4--,but if one should gain the advantage of the other in magnetic attraction1 the chances are that through the law of development1 or what has been termed the ,survival of the ,fittest--the stronger will rob the weaker until one becomes robust and healthy1 while the other grows weaker and weaker day by day4 ,this frequently occurs with children sleeping together1 also between husband and wife4 #h4 ,,sleeping ,,with ,,invalids4--,healthy1 hearty1 vigorous persons sleeping with a diseased person is always at a disadvantage4 ,the consumptive patient will draw from the strong1 until the consumptive person becomes the strong patient and the strong person will become the consumptive4 ,there are many cases on record to prove this statement4 ,a well person should never sleep with an invalid if he desires to keep his health unimpaired1 for the weak will take from the strong1 until the strong becomes the weak and the weak the strong4 ,many a husband has died from a lingering disease which saved his wife from an early grave4 ,he took the disease from his wife because he was the stronger1 and she became better and he perished4 #i4 ,,husband ,,and ,,wife4--,it is not always wise that husband and wife should sleep together1 nor that children--whose temperament does not harmonize--should be compelled to sleep in the same bed4 ,by the same law it is wrong for the young to sleep with old persons4 ,some have slept in the same bed with persons1 when in the morning they have gotten up seemingly more tired than when they went to bed4 ,at other times with different persons1 they have lain awake two-thirds of the night in pleasant conversation and have gotten up in the morning without scarcely realizing that they had been to sleep at all1 yet have felt perfectly rested and refreshed4 #aj4 ,,magnetic ,,healing1 ,,or ,,what ,,has ,,been ,,known ,,as ,,the ,,laying ,,on ,,of ,,hands4--,a nervous prostration is a negative condition beneath the natural1 by the laying on of hands a person in a good1 healthy condition is capable of communicating to the necessity of the weak4 ,for the negative condition of the patient will as naturally draw from the strong1 as the loadstone draws from the magnet1 until both become equally charged4 ,and as fevers are a positive condition of the system beyond the natural1 the normal condition of the healer will1 by the laying on of the hands1 absorb these positive atoms1 until the fever of the patient becomes reduced or cured4 ,as a proof of this the magnetic healer often finds himself or herself prostrated after treating the weak1 and excited or feverish after treating a feverish patient4 ,illustration3 ,,well ,,mated4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,read ,,character4 ,,how ,,to ,,tell ,,disposition ,,and ,,character ,,by ,,the ,,nose4 #a4 ,,large ,,noses4--,bonaparte chose large-nosed men for his generals1 and the opinion prevails that large noses indicate long heads and strong minds4 ,not that great noses cause great minds1 but that the motive or powerful temperament cause both4 #b4 ,,flat ,,noses4--,flat noses indicate flatness of mind and character1 by indicating a poor1 low organic structure4 #c4 ,,broad ,,noses4--,broad noses indicate large passage-ways to the lungs1 and this1 large lungs and vital organs and this1 great strength of constitution1 and hearty animal passions along with selfishness2 for broad noses1 broad shoulders1 broad heads1 and large animal organs go together4 ,but when the nose is narrow at the base1 the nostrils are small1 because the lungs are small and need but small avenues for air2 and this indicates a predisposition to consumptive complaints1 along with an active brain and nervous system1 and a passionate fondness for literary pursuits4 #d4 ,,sharp ,,noses4--,sharp noses indicate a quick1 clear1 penetrating1 searching1 knowing1 sagacious mind1 and also a scold2 indicate warmth of love1 hate1 generosity1 moral sentiment--indeed1 positiveness in everything4 #e4 ,,blunt ,,noses4--,blunt noses indicate and accompany obtuse intellects and perceptions1 sluggish feelings1 and a soulless character4 #f4 ,,roman ,,noses4--,the ,roman nose indicates a martial spirit1 love of debate1 resistance1 and strong passions1 while hollow1 pug noses indicate a tame1 easy1 inert1 sly character1 and straight1 finely-formed ,grecian noses harmonious characters4 ,seek their acquaintance4 ,,disposition ,,and ,,character ,,by ,,stature4 #a4 ,,tall ,,persons4--,tall persons have high heads1 and are aspiring1 aim high1 and seek conspicuousness1 while short ones have flat heads1 and seek the lower forms of worldly pleasures4 ,tall persons are rarely mean1 though often grasping2 but very penurious persons are often broad-built4 #b4 ,,small ,,persons4--,small persons generally have exquisite mentalities1 yet less power--the more precious the article1 the smaller the package in which it is done up1--while great men are rarely dwarfs1 though great size often co-exists with sluggishness4 ,,disposition ,,and ,,character ,,by ,,the ,,walk4 #a4 ,,awkward4--,those whose motions are awkward yet easy1 possess much efficiency and positiveness of character1 yet lack polish2 and just in proportion as they become refined in mind will their movements be correspondingly improved4 ,a short and quick step indicates a brisk and active but rather contracted mind1 whereas those who take long steps generally have long heads2 yet if the step is slow1 they will make comparatively little progress1 while those whose step is long and quick will accomplish proportionately much1 and pass most of their competitors on the highway of life4 #b4 ,a ,,dragging ,,step4--,those who sluff or drag their heels1 drag and drawl in everything2 while those who walk with a springing1 bouncing step1 abound in mental snap and spring4 ,those whose walk is mincing1 affected1 and artificial1 rarely1 if ever1 accomplish much2 whereas those who walk carelessly1 that is1 naturally1 are just what they appear to be1 and put on nothing for outside show4 #c4 ,,the ,,different ,,modes ,,of ,,walking4--,in short1 every individual has his own peculiar mode of moving1 which exactly accords with his mental character2 so that1 as far as you can see such modes1 you can decipher such outlines of character4 ,,the ,,disposition ,,and ,,character ,,by ,,laughing4 #a4 ,,laughter ,,expressive ,,of ,,character4--,laughter is very expressive of character4 ,those who laugh very heartily have much cordiality and whole-souledness of character1 except that those who laugh heartily at trifles have much feeling1 yet little sense4 ,those whose giggles are rapid but light1 have much intensity of feeling1 yet lack power2 whereas those who combine rapidity with force in laughing1 combine them in character4 #b4 ,,vulgar ,,laugh4--,vulgar persons always laugh vulgarly1 and refined persons show refinement in their laugh4 ,those who ha1 ha right out1 unreservedly1 have no cunning1 and are open-hearted in everything2 while those who suppress laughter1 and try to control their countenances in it1 are more or less secretive4 ,those who laugh with their mouths closed are non-committal2 while those who throw it wide open are unguarded and unequivocal in character4 #c4 ,,suppressed ,,laughter4--,those who1 suppressing laughter for a while1 burst forth volcano-like1 have strong characteristics1 but are well-governed1 yet violent when they give way to their feelings4 ,then there is the intellectual laugh1 the love laugh1 the horse laugh1 the philoprogenitive laugh1 the friendly laugh1 and many other kinds of laugh1 each indicative of corresponding mental developments4 ,,disposition ,,and ,,character ,,by ,,the ,,mode ,,of ,,shaking ,,hands4 ,,their ,,expression ,,of ,,character4--,thus1 those who give a tame and loose hand1 and shake lightly1 have a cold1 if not heartless and selfish disposition1 rarely sacrificing much for others1 are probably conservatives1 and lack warmth and soul4 ,but those who grasp firmly1 and shake heartily1 have a corresponding whole-souledness of character1 are hospitable1 and will sacrifice business to friends2 while those who bow low when they shake hands1 add deference to friendship1 and are easily led1 for good or bad1 by friends4 ,illustration3 ,,an ,,easy-,,going ,,disposition4 ,,the ,,disposition ,,and ,,character ,,by ,,the ,,mouth ,,and ,,eyes4 #a4 ,,different ,,forms ,,of ,,mouths4--,every mouth differs from every other1 and indicates a coincident character4 ,large mouths express a corresponding quantity of mentality1 while small ones indicate a lesser amount4 ,a coarsely-formed mouth indicates power1 while one finely-formed indicates exquisite susceptibilities4 ,hence small1 delicately formed mouths indicate only common minds1 with very fine feelings and much perfection of character4 #b4 ,,characteristics4--,whenever the muscles about the mouth are distinct1 the character is correspondingly positive1 and the reverse4 ,those who open their mouths wide and frequently1 thereby evince an open soul1 while closed mouths1 unless to hide deformed teeth1 are proportionately secretive4 #c4 ,,eyes4--,those who keep their eyes half shut are peek-a-boos and eaves-droppers4 #d4 ,,expressions ,,of ,,the ,,eye4--,the mere expression of the eye conveys precise ideas of the existing and predominant states of the mentality and physiology4 ,as long as the constitution remains unimpaired1 the eye is clear and bright1 but becomes languid and soulless in proportion as the brain has been enfeebled4 ,wild1 erratic persons have a half-crazed expression of eye1 while calmness1 benignancy1 intelligence1 purity1 sweetness1 love1 lasciviousness1 anger1 and all the other mental affections1 express themselves quite as distinctly by the eye as voice1 or any other mode4 #f4 ,,color ,,of ,,the ,,eyes4--,some inherit fineness from one parent1 and coarseness from the other1 while the color of the eye generally corresponds with that of the skin1 and expresses character4 ,light eyes indicate warmth of feeling1 and dark eyes power4 #f4 ,,garments4--,those1 who keep their coats buttoned up1 fancy high-necked and closed dresses1 etc41 are equally non-communicative1 but those who like open1 free1 flowing garments1 are equally open-hearted and communicative4 ,,the ,,disposition ,,and ,,character ,,by ,,the ,,color ,,of ,,the ,,hair4 #a4 ,,different ,,colors4--,coarseness and fineness of texture in nature indicate coarse and fine-grained feelings and characters1 and since black signifies power1 and red ardor1 therefore coarse black hair and skin signify great power of character of some kind1 along with considerable tendency to the sensual2 yet fine black hair and skin indicate strength of character1 along with purity and goodness4 #b4 ,,coarse ,,hair4--,coarse black hair and skin1 and coarse red hair and whiskers1 indicate powerful animal passions1 together with corresponding strength of character2 while fine or light1 or auburn hair indicates quick susceptibilities1 together with refinement and good taste4 #c4 ,,fine ,,hair4--,fine dark or brown hair indicates the combination of exquisite susceptibilities with great strength of character1 while auburn hair1 with a florid countenance1 indicates the highest order of sentiment and intensity of feeling1 along with corresponding purity of character1 combined with the highest capacities for enjoyment and suffering4 #d4 ,,curly ,,hair4--,curly hair or beard indicates a crisp1 excitable1 and variable disposition1 and much diversity of character--now blowing hot1 now cold--along with intense love and hate1 gushing1 glowing emotions1 brilliancy1 and variety of talent4 ,so look out for ringlets2 they betoken ,april weather--treat them gently1 lovingly1 and you will have the brightest1 clearest sunshine1 and the sweetest balmiest breezes4 #e4 ,,straight ,,hair4--,straight1 even1 smooth1 and glossy hair indicate strength1 harmony1 and evenness of character1 and hearty1 whole-souled affections1 as well as a clear head and superior talents2 while straight1 stiff1 black hair and beard indicate a coarse1 strong1 rigid1 straight-forward character4 #f4 ,,abundance ,,of ,,hair4--,abundance of hair and beard signifies virility and a great amount of character2 while a thin beard signifies sterility and a thinly settled upper story1 with rooms to let1 so that the beard is very significant of character4 #g4 ,,fiery ,,red ,,hair indicates a quick and fiery disposition4 ,persons with such hair generally have intense feelings--love and hate intensely--yet treat them kindly1 and you have the warmest friends1 but ruffle them1 and you raise a hurricane on short notice4 ,this is doubly true of auburn curls4 ,it takes but little kindness1 however1 to produce a calm and render them as fair as a ,summer morning4 ,red-headed people in general are not given to hold a grudge4 ,they are generally of a very forgiving disposition4 ,,secretive ,,dispositions4 #a4 ,a man that naturally wears his hat upon the top or back of the head is frank and outspoken2 will easily confide and have many confidential friends1 and is less liable to keep a secret4 ,he will never do you any harm4 #b4 ,if a man wears his hat well down on the forehead1 shading the eyes more or less1 will always keep his own counsel4 ,he will not confide a secret1 and if criminally inclined will be a very dangerous character4 #c4 ,if a lady naturally inclines to high-necked dresses and collars1 she will keep her secrets to herself if she has any4 ,in courtship or love she is an uncertainty1 as she will not reveal sentiments of her heart4 ,the secretive girl1 however1 usually makes a good housekeeper and rarely gets mixed into neighborhood difficulties4 ,as a wife she will not be the most affectionate1 nor will she trouble her husband with many of her trials or difficulties4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,twilight ,,sleep4 ,some years ago two ,german ,physicians1 ,kroenig and ,grauss1 of the ,university of ,baden1 startled the world by announcing3 ,dammerschlaf or ,twilight ,sleep1 a treatment which rendered childbirth almost painless and free from dangerous complications4 ,a woman's clinic was established at ,freiburg where a combination of scopolamine and morphine was given4 ,the muscular activity of the pelvic organs was not lessened1 the length of labor was shortened1 and instruments were rarely necessary4 ,,abbott',s ,h-,m-,c is another sedative composed of hyoseine1 morphine1 and cactoid4 ,it is less dangerous than the other remedy1 and accomplishes the same result1 hence is greatly preferred4 ,,the ,,utmost ,,caution is necessary in the administration of either of these drugs1 and the most competent medical supervision is essential to their success4 ,,cautions4--,the patient should not be left a moment without medical supervision4 ,the lying in chamber should be darkened1 and kept as quiet as possible4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,painless ,,childbirth4 ,,why ,,should ,a ,,woman ,,suffer8--,childbirth is a natural function1 as natural as eating1 sleeping or walking4 ,if the laws of nature are complied with it loses most1 if not all1 of its terrors4 ,the facts show that ,indian women1 and those of other uncivilized races have children without experiencing pain1 and with none of the so common modern complications4 ,,what ,,is ,,the ,,reason8--,they live a natural1 out of doors life1 free from the evils and restrictions of present day civilization in dress and habits of life4 ,a ,,normal ,,life4--,the expectant mother should therefore live a perfectly rational life1 keeping the stomach and intestines especially healthy and active1 and hence the general physical condition good4 ,an abundance of fresh air1 hearty exercise1 and childbirth will pass over without any abnormal consequences4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,diseases ,,of ,,women4 ,,the ,,woman',s ,,place ,,is ,,in ,,the ,,home4--,for centuries the world has stuck to this rule4 ,because the woman has been considered less fit for the struggles of the active workaday world1 she has been kept at home1 shut in from the air and sunshine1 deprived of healthy exercise1 and obliged to live a life of confinement and inactivity4 ,,what ,,is ,,the ,,result8--,in connection with menstruation1 pregnancy and child bearing a long list of diseases peculiar to woman have arisen1 most of which through proper food and exercise could be avoided4 ,in matters so vital to posterity false modesty and ignorance can no longer be tolerated4 ,,chlorosis ,,or ,,anaemia4 ,home ,treatment3 ,plenty of good food and fresh air will do much to restore the blood4 ,keep the bowels free4 ,satisfactory results have been brought about by a systematic use of iron as a tonic4 ,,disorders ,,of ,,the ,,menses4 ,,retention ,,of ,,menstruation4 ,treatment3 ,when due to the condition of the blood1 recommend good food1 fresh air1 and sunshine to improve circulation4 ,if the result of cold and exposure means and appliances for restoring the circulation must be adopted4 ,in either case the bowels should be kept open by injections4 ,,vicarious ,,menstruation4 ,treatment3 ,no attempt should be made to stop the hemorrhage during the monthly period4 ,the discharge is usually light although it occasionally causes great weakness4 ,this disorder is caused by the suppression of the menses1 and must be treated accordingly between periods4 ,,cessation ,,of ,,the ,,menses4 ,commonly called ,change of ,life4 ,treatment3 ,at this dangerous and trying period in a woman's life she must adopt the utmost regularity in the habits of her existence4 ,hot baths1 taken just before retiring1 will relieve the uncomfortable feeling so common at this time of life4 ,,disorders ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,,cancer ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,treatment3 ,call at once a competent physician4 ,,displacement ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,treatment3 ,evacuate the bowels and the bladder by means of injections1 and the catheter4 ,place the fingers in the vagina1 locate the mouth of the womb1 insert finger into it1 and gently pull the organ into its natural position4 ,,dropsy ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,treatment3 ,use tonics freely together with vapor baths1 and frequent hot hip baths4 ,,falling ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,treatment3 ,build up the physical condition by an abundance of good food1 fresh air and sunshine1 with moderate exercise4 ,astringent injections and vaginal suppositories of oak bark1 myrrh1 and cocoa-butter will usually bring relief4 ,,inflammation ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,treatment3 ,apply stimulating liniment to the abdomen4 ,keep body warm and moist especially at extremities4 ,add #aj-ae drops of carbolic acid to one quart of warm water and use as a vaginal douche4 ,keep bowels open4 ,furnish light1 nourishing diet1 and give tonics4 ,,neuralgia ,,of ,,the ,,womb4 ,treatment3 ,keep feet warm and give injections to the bowels of lobelia1 lady slipper1 and skullcap4 ,rub the abdomen with liniment4 ,absolute quiet1 above all else1 will bring relief4 ,,diseases ,,of ,,the ,,vagina4 ,,vaginitis1 ,,or ,,inflammation ,,of ,,the ,,vagina4 ,treatment3 ,complete rest4 ,use distilled sweet clover with a slight infusion of lady slipper warm1 three times a day as a vaginal injection4 ,,prolapsus ,,of ,,the ,,vagina4 ,treatment3 ,when the walls of the vagina become folded upon themselves through abortion1 rupture during delivery1 excessive indulgence1 masturbation1 etc4 it is called prolapsus4 ,use an astringent suppository or injection4 ,,spasm ,,of ,,the ,,vagina4 ,treatment3 ,this is nothing more than a nervous condition causing the muscles of the vagina to spasm thus closing the passage1 and rendering conception almost impossible4 ,outdoor exercise1 light but nourishing diet1 and general attention to the nervous system will bring prompt relief4 ,intercourse1 if attempted1 should be quiet and unfrequent4 ,an effort should be made to keep the thoughts on other subjects4 ,,diseases ,,of ,,the ,,external ,,female ,,genitals4 ,,inflammation ,,and ,,abscess4 ,treatment3 ,wash the parts often with warm water1 distilled witch hazel1 and strong infusion of lobelia4 ,keep the bowels free4 ,in severe cases apply poultices of ground flaxseed1 sprinkled over with golden seal and lobelia4 ,after poultices are removed1 cleanse parts with warm water1 containing a little tincture of myrrh4 ,,pruritis4 ,treatment3 ,a very mortifying and uncomfortable affliction1 accompanied by an almost uncontrollable desire to scratch the parts4 ,the itching is due to uncleanliness1 excessive masturbation1 violent intercourse1 inflammation of the bladder1 stomach or liver trouble etc4 ,bathe the affected parts well with borax water1 and apply a wash of equal parts witch hazel1 and an infusion of lobelia4 ,use mild laxatives to keep the bowels open4 ,,diseases ,,of ,,the ,,ovaries4 ,,dropsy ,,of ,,the ,,ovaries4 ,treatment3 ,an accumulation of fluid in the membranous sack about the ovaries4 ,an operation is necessary and is almost always successful4 ,,inflammation ,,of ,,the ,,ovaries4 ,treatment3 ,in mild cases rub abdomen with liniment and apply hot water bottles4 ,perfect quiet is essential to an early recovery4 ,,tumors ,,of ,,the ,,ovaries4 ,treatment3 ,a surgical operation is the only means of cure4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,remedies ,,for ,,diseases ,,of ,,women4 ,,after ,,pains3 ,salophen in fifteen grain doses4 ,if necessary take another dose in two hours4 ,should the pains reappear the next day1 repeat the dosage4 ,,amenorrhea3 ,tincture chloride of iron1 three drams2 tincture cantharides1 one dram2 tincture guaiac ammon41 one-half dram2 tincture aloe1 one-half ounce2 syrup enough to make six ounces4 ,dose3 ,tablespoonful after meals4 ,,cancer ,,of ,,the ,,womb3 ,make a solution and use in douches3 ,picric acid1 two one-half dram2 water one and one-half pint2 the patient must lie flat on back while fluid runs up into the vagina1 hips must be raised2 retain the fluid as long as possible4 ,later on make a cotton tampon1 saturated with chloral hydrate1 one-half dram2 cocaine hydrochloride1 one and one-half grain2 dissolve in five drams of water4 ,use injection and tampon morning and night4 ,,dysmenorrhea3 ,asafoetida1 forty grains2 ext4 ,valerian1 twenty grains2 ext4 ,cannabis ,indica1 five grains2 make twenty pills4 ,dose3 ,one pill after meals4 ,use the following ointment for the pain in the back3 ,ext4 ,hyoscyamus1 thirty grains2 ext4 ,belladonna1 thirty grains2 ,adipis1 one ounce4 ,apply locally night and morning4 ,,emmenagogue3 ,ergotin1 twenty grains2 ext4 cotton root bark1 twenty grains2 ,purified ,aloes1 twenty grains2 ,dried ,ferrous sulphate1 twenty grains2 ext4 ,savine1 ten grains4 ,make twenty pills4 ,dose3 ,one pill four times a day4 ,,endometritis3 ,ext4 ,viburnum ,prun1 forty grains2 ext4 ,hamamelis1 twenty grains2 ,ergotin1 ten grains2 ext4 ,nux ,vomica1 two grains2 ,hydrastin1 one grain4 ,make twenty pills4 ,dose3 ,one pill morning and night4 ,,fibroid ,,tumors3 ,chromium ,sulphate1 four-grain tablets4 ,dose3 ,one tablet after meals4 ,,fissure ,,of ,,nipples3 ,apply ,iodoform1 one dram2 carbolic acid1 twenty grains2 white ,petrolatum1 one ounce4 ,apply at night2 requires thorough washing next morning4 ,,helonias ,,composition3 ,helonias1 fifteen grains2 ,squaw wine1 sixty grains2 ,viburnum ,opulus1 fifteen grains2 ,caulophyllum1 fifteen grains2 syrup1 two ounces4 ,dose3 ,teaspoonful every two hours4 ,,leucorrhoea3 ,ext4 ,hyoscyamus1 one dram2 ext4 ,hamamelis1 one dram2 tannic acid1 one dram2 ext4 ,helonias1 one-half dram2 ,salicylic acid1 one dram2 ,alum1 three drams2 boric acid1 five drams4 ,dissolve flat teaspoonful in half cup of water1 soak a cotton tampon and place way up in the vagina4 ,as a tonic take3 ,tincture ,cinchona comp41 two ounces2 tincture gentian comp41 two ounces4 ,dose3 ,dessertspoonful after meals4 ,,menopause3 ,ammonium bromide1 two drams2 ,potassium bromide1 four drams2 aromatii spirits amoniae1 six drams2 camphor water enough to make six ounces4 ,dose3 ,one dessertspoonful1 three times a day4 ,,menorrhagia3 ,gallic acid1 fifty grains2 ,ergotin1 twenty grains2 ,hydrastin1 ten grains4 ,make twenty pills4 ,dose3 ,one pill after meals4 ,another prescription3 ,calcium chloride1 two and one-half drams2 syrup1 fifteen drams2 water1 six ounces4 ,dose3 ,one tablespoonful morning and night4 ,,menstrual ,,irregularities3 ,extracts of cramp bark1 forty grains2 blue cohosh1 ten grains2 ,squaw wine1 forty grains2 pokeberry1 twenty grains2 strychnine1 one grain4 ,make forty pills4 ,dose3 ,one pill four times a day until relieved4 ,,menstruation1 ,,profuse3 ,extracts of white ash bark1 two drams2 black haw1 two drams2 cramp bark1 two drams2 unicorn root1 one dram2 ,squaw wine1 one dram2 blue cohosh1 one dram4 ,steep #bd hours in one-half pint of water1 add one-half pint of alcohol4 ,dose3 ,tablespoonful three times a day4 ,,neuralgia ,,of ,,womb3 ,fl4 ext4 henbane1 two drams2 ,fl4 ext4 ,indian hemp1 one dram2 ,fl4 ext4 snake root1 four drams2 spirits of camphor1 two drams2 compound spirits of ether1 three ounces4 ,dose3 ,one teaspoonful in water three times a day4 ,medicated hot sitz bath4 ,,ovarian ,,congestion3 ,black haw1 sixty grains2 ,golden seal1 sixty grains2 ,jamaica dogwood1 thirty grains2 syrup and water1 four ounces4 ,dose3 ,one teaspoonful three or four times a day4 ,,ovarian ,,sedative3 ,lupulin1 ten grains2 ergotin1 five grains2 scutellarin1 ten grains2 zinc bromide1 two grains4 ,make twenty pills4 ,dose3 ,one pill after meals4 ,,vaginismus3 ,strontium bromide1 two drams2 potassium bromide1 two drams2 ammonium bromide1 two drams2 water to make ten ounces4 ,dose3 ,tablespoonful morning and night4 ,make a suppository and insert night3 ,cocaine hydrochlorate1 two grains2 ext4 ,belladonna1 one and one-half grains2 ,strontium bromide1 four grains2 ,oil ,theobromat1 two drams4 ,use every night one such suppository1 placed high up in the vagina until all signs of the difficulty are gone4 ,,vaginitis3 ,resorcine1 forty grains2 ,salicylic acid1 eight grains2 ,betanaphtholis1 one grain2 add enough water to make it eight ounces4 ,dose3 ,add to this mixture one tablespoonful to a quart of warm water and douche vagina in above stated manner4 ,use also suppository as in ,vaginismus4 ,,vulva ,,itching3 ,apply externally morning and night the following salve3 ,boric acid1 thirty grains2 ,oxide of zinc1 sixty grains4 ,powdered starch1 sixty grains2 ,petrolatum1 one ounce4 ,apply on cotton and to affected parts4 ,,ulcerations ,,of ,,vagina ,,or ,,womb3 ,insert a suppository each one made of ,boric acid1 five grains2 ,powdered alum1 five grains4 ,or the following composition2 ,black haw1 two grains2 golden seal1 two grains2 add enough cocoa butter to make one suppository4 ,insert and keep in over night after a hot medicated vaginal douche is taken4 ,,uterine ,,astringent3 ,alum1 three drams2 zinc sulphate1 two drams2 morphine sulphate1 one grain2 tannic acid1 two drams2 ,boric acid1 six drams4 ,mix and use of it one tablespoonful dissolved in pint of warm water4 ,inject slowly into vagina in recumbent position1 retain the douche fluid as long as possible4 ,later on insert when retiring a vaginal suppository4 ,,uterine ,,hemorrhages3 ,take ,stypticin tablets according to printed direction on the package4 ,,uterine ,,tonic3 ,helonin1 three grains2 ,caulophyllin1 three grains2 ,macrotin1 three grains2 ,hyoscyamine1 three grains4 ,make twenty pills4 ,dose3 ,one pill after meals4 ,,uterine ,,tonic ,,and ,,stimulant3 ,take ,elixir of ,helonias1 which can be bought in drug stores1 or get the following tinctures and make it at home3 ,partridge berry1 ninety-six grains2 unicorn root1 forty-eight grains2 ,blue cohosh1 forty-eight grains2 cramp bark1 forty-eight grains4 ,steep these for #bd hours in one-half pint of water1 add one-half pint of alcohol1 then strain and bottle4 ,dose3 ,one teaspoonful three times a day4 ,,whites3 ,dried alum1 one-half ounce2 ,borax1 two ounces2 boric acid1 four ounces2 ,thymol1 ten grains2 ,eucalyptol1 ten grains2 ,oil of peppermint1 two drams4 ,dissolve1 one teaspoonful of the mixture in a pint of hot water and use as a douche morning and night4 ,,womb ,,spasms3 ,cramp bark1 one ounce2 skullcap1 one ounce2 skunk cabbage1 four drams4 ,steep #bd hours in one-half pint of water1 add one-half pint of alcohol4 ,dose3 ,one tablespoonful three times a day4 99 99 99 99 99 ,transcriber's ,note3 ,the following ,alphabetical ,index is as it appears in the original book4 ,it is not in alphabetical order4 ,,alphabetical ,,index4 ,a ,abstention1 #acg ,abstinence1 #eb ,abuse ,after ,marriage1 #bjb ,abortion or ,miscarriage1 #bec ,abortion1 ,causes and ,symptoms1 #bec ,abortion1 ,home ,treatment1 #bed ,abortion1 ,prevention of1 #bed ,abortion1 ,the ,sin of ,herod1 #beg ,abortion1 ,the ,violation of all ,law1 #bef ,absence of ,physician1 #cjj ,abraham a ,polygamist1 #acc ,a ,broken ,heart1 #aei ,aboriginal1 ,australian1 #afb ,admired and ,beloved1 #bh ,advantages of ,wedlock1 #ace ,advice to ,newly ,married ,couples1 #bja ,advice to ,married and ,unmarried1 #aha ,advice to ,bridegroom1 #bja ,advice to ,young ,mothers1 #bhf ,advice to ,young ,married ,people1 #dce ,advice to ,young ,men1 #dcg ,adultery in the ,heart1 #dji ,after ,birth1 #cjj ,affectionate ,parents1 #bbg ,amenorrhoea1 #cee ,amativeness or ,connubial ,love1 #abb ,animal ,passions1 #dcd ,animal ,impulse1 #bbg ,apoplexy1 #cfe ,artificial ,impregnation1 #bgj ,arms1 ,beautiful1 #aca ,assassin of ,garfield1 #bid ,asking an ,honest ,question1 #fa ,associates1 ,influence of1 #aa ,authority of the ,wife1 #bfg ,b ,bad ,company1 ,the ,result of1 #ac ,bad ,society1 #cha ,bad ,dressing1 #dji ,bad ,books1 #dba ,bad ,breath1 #cfe ,bathing1 ,rules for1 #cga-cgc ,bath1 ,the1 #hc ,barber's ,shampoos1 #ajg ,bad ,breast1 #cbb ,bastards or ,illegitimates1 #bbd ,beginning of ,life1 #e ,begin at ,right ,place1 #g ,begin ,well1 #ag ,beauty and ,style1 #bg ,beauty a ,dangerous ,gift1 #bg ,beautiful ,women1 ,beware of1 #bg ,beauty in ,dress1 #hi ,beauty1 #ia-ib ,beauty ,which ,perishes ,not1 #ib ,beauty1 ,sensible ,hints to1 #ie ,beautiful ,arms1 #aca ,be ,ye ,fruitful and ,multiply1 #bja ,beautiful ,children1 ,how to ,have1 #bhh ,birth1 ,conditions of1 #bbi ,biliousness1 #bgi1 #ceg1 #cfc ,bites and ,stings of ,insects1 #cei ,bloom and ,grace of ,youth1 #ig ,black-heads1 and ,flesh ,worms1 #aab ,blue ,feelings1 #aei ,bleeding1 #cfd ,both ,puzzled1 #gg ,bodily ,symmetry1 #ajj1 #aje ,boils1 #cfd ,breath1 ,the1 #hf ,broad ,hips1 #acj ,breach of ,confidence1 #aia ,bride1 ,the1 #aii ,bridal ,tour1 #bjj ,breasts1 ,swelled and ,sore1 #cdh ,burns1 #ac1 #cee1 #cei ,busts1 ,full1 #acj ,bunions1 #cfd ,bubo ,treatment1 #dfh ,c ,care of the ,person1 #hd ,care of the ,hair1 #ajg ,cause of ,family ,troubles1 #bag ,calamities of ,lust1 #daf-dai ,causes of ,sterility1 #bea ,causes of ,divorce1 #beh-bfb ,care of ,new-,born ,infant1 #cae ,cataracts of the ,eyes1 #cee ,causes of ,prostitution1 #dab ,celibacy1 ,disadvantages of1 #ach ,chinese ,marriage ,system1 #acc ,children1 ,healthy and ,beautiful1 #bbb-bbg ,children1 ,idiots1 ,criminals and ,lunatics1 #bbb ,children's ,condition ,depends on ,parents1 #bbe ,children1 ,all1 ,may ,die1 #bbf ,children1 ,too ,many1 #bbi ,children1 ,foolish ,dread of1 #bda ,character ,lost1 #i ,character1 ,formation of1 #aa ,character1 ,essence1 #ab ,character ,exhibits ,itself1 #ae ,character1 ,beauty of1 #ah ,child1 ,an ,honored1 #ai ,character1 ,school of1 #bc ,child1 ,the1 is ,father of the ,man1 #bd ,character1 ,female1 ,influence of1 #cj ,children1 ,fond of1 #fb ,character1 ,influence of ,good1 #gc ,character is ,property1 #gd ,child ,bearing without ,pain1 #cjd1 #dgi ,chickenpox1 #cdf1 #cfc ,chapped ,hands1 #cee1 #cef ,chilblains1 #cei ,child ,training1 #cif ,chastity and ,purity1 #djj ,character1 ,how to ,read1 #dgc ,civilization1 #ah ,circumcision1 #cid ,cigarette ,smoking1 ,effects of1 #dde1 #dej ,clap--,gonorrhoea1 #dfd ,clap--,gonorrhoea ,treatment1 #dff ,corsets1 #aja-ajc ,corset1 ,egyptian1 #ajd ,coloring for ,eyelashes and ,eyebrows1 #ajh ,confidence1 #abb ,connubial ,love1 #abb ,concubinage and ,polygamy1 #acc ,courtship and ,marriage1 #adh ,court ,scientifically1 #aff ,consummation of ,marriage1 #bjb ,conception1 #bci ,conception1 ,its ,limitations1 #bdj ,conceptions and ,accidents of ,lust1 #bef ,courtship and ,marriage1 #bfg ,control1 ,self1 #ab ,coarseness1 #bd ,correspondence1 #cf ,conversation1 #gi ,conception or ,impregnation1 #bfi ,conception1 ,the ,proper ,time for1 #bhi ,colic1 #cah1 #cch1 #cef ,convulsions1 ,infantile1 #cai ,constipation1 ,to ,prevent1 #cbc1 #cci ,coughs1 ,colds1 etc41 #cfj ,cold ,water for ,diseases1 #cfi ,cook for the ,sick1 ,how to1 #cge ,cramps1 #bgg1 #cef ,croup1 ,how to ,treat1 #cdc ,crimping ,hair1 #aji ,criminals and ,heredity1 #cii ,crowning ,sin of the ,age1 #daa ,cuts1 #ceh1 #cfj ,cultivate ,modesty1 #baj ,cultivate ,personal ,attractiveness1 #baj ,cultivate ,physical ,attractiveness1 #baa ,curse of ,manhood1 ,the1 #dcc ,d ,day ,dreaming1 #bf ,dangerous ,diseases1 #beg ,danger in ,lack of ,knowledge1 #djc ,deformities1 #ih ,development of the ,individual1 #ih ,desertion and ,divorce1 #ahg ,desire1 ,stimulated by ,drugs1 #bej ,desire ,moderated by ,drugs1 #bej ,deformities1 #bfd ,desire1 ,want of1 #bje ,deafness1 ,how to ,cure1 #cfb ,devil's ,decoys1 ,the1 #dai ,disadvantages of ,celibacy1 #ach ,diseased1 ,parents1 #add ,disrupted ,love1 #aei ,divorces1 #aff ,distress during ,consummation1 #bjb ,diseases1 ,heredity and ,transmission of1 #bfc ,diseases of ,pregnancy1 #bgd ,diseases of ,infants and ,children1 #cch ,diarrhoea1 #cdj1 #cfc ,diphtheria1 #cdf ,diseases of ,women and ,treatment1 #cdi1 #dhj-dhe ,disinfectant1 #cfj ,digestibility of ,food1 #cgd ,dietetic ,recipes1 #cge ,diseases of ,women1 #dhc ,dictionary of ,medical ,terms1 #dhf ,drink1 #af ,dress1 #hh ,dress ,affects ,our ,manners1 #ij ,drugs which ,stimulate ,desire1 #bej ,drugs which ,moderate ,desire1 #bej ,drug ,habit1 ,the1 #dda ,dude of the #agth ,century1 #hg ,duration of ,pregnancy1 #bif ,dyspepsia ,cure1 #cfj ,e ,early ,marriages1 #cea1 #daj ,education of ,child in the ,womb1 #bib ,effects of ,cigarette ,smoking1 #dde-dej ,egyptian ,dancer1 ,an1 #bj ,eruptions on the ,skin1 #bgb ,etiquette1 ,rules on1 #di ,etiquette of ,calls1 #ef ,etiquette in ,your ,speech1 #eg ,etiquette of ,dress and ,habits1 #eh ,etiquette on the ,street1 #ei ,etiquette ,between ,sexes1 #fj ,eugenic ,baby ,party1 #ge ,eunuchs1 #djg ,evidence of ,conception1 #bfi ,expectant ,mother1 ,the1 #bhd ,exciting the ,passions in ,children1 #djd ,exposed ,youth1 #dbg ,excesses by ,married ,men1 #dcd ,eye ,wash1 #cee ,f ,fame1 #ah ,family ,group1 ,blessing the1 #ai ,family ,government1 #gf ,false ,beautifiers1 #abi ,false ,appearance1 #aca ,family ,troubles1 ,cause of1 #bag ,families1 ,small1 #bcb ,fallopian ,tubes1 #bcg ,fake ,medical ,advice1 #bdj1 #bej ,fainting1 #bha ,falling of the ,womb1 #cej ,fast ,young ,men1 #dce ,female ,character1 ,influence of1 #cj ,female ,beauty1 #abi ,feet1 ,small1 #acj ,female ,organs1 ,conditions of1 #bjd ,female ,magnetism1 #bce ,female ,sexual ,organs1 #bce ,feeding ,infants1 #cai ,fevers1 #cbg ,feet with ,bad ,odor1 #ced ,felon1 #ceh1 #cfd ,female ,organs of ,creative ,life1 #che ,first ,love1 #ahe ,first ,conjugal ,approach1 #bjc ,flirting1 #aff1 #afh ,flirting and ,its ,dangers1 #aij ,form1 ,male and ,female1 #ih ,former ,customs1 #afb ,fondling and ,caressing1 #afh ,folly of ,follies1 #bag ,foetal ,heart1 #bgc ,follies of ,youth1 #dfh ,free ,lovers1 #acc ,frequency of ,intercourse1 #bjh ,full ,busts1 #acj ,g ,garden of ,eden1 #acc ,gathered ,breast1 #cbb ,generosity1 #abf ,generative ,organs1 ,male1 #bcd ,generative ,organs1 ,female1 #bcf ,girls1 ,save the1 #chj ,gland1 ,the ,penal1 #bce ,gland1 ,the ,prostate1 #bce ,gladstone1 #h ,gleet1 ,symptoms and ,treatment of1 #dfh ,good ,character1 #gc ,gout1 #cfb ,gonorrhoea 7,clap71 #dfd ,gonorrhoea 7,clap71 ,remedy for1 #dff ,grace1 #bh ,gray ,hair1 #aaj ,grave-,yard ,statistics1 #bbf ,grossness of ,sensuality1 #dai ,h ,hawaiian ,islands and ,marriage1 #afc ,harlot's ,woes1 ,a1 #dca ,habits1 #ag ,hair and ,beard1 #he ,hand in ,hand1 #ib ,hair1 ,the ,care of1 #ajg-aaa ,hate-,spats1 #aed ,hap-,hazard ,marriages1 #bah ,hair1 ,how to ,remove1 #cfj ,harlot's ,mess of ,meat1 ,the1 #dah ,harlot's ,influence1 #dca ,health a ,duty1 #g ,helps to ,beauty1 #ie ,heart1 ,a ,broken1 #aei ,healthy ,wives and ,mothers1 #ahc ,hereditary ,descent1 #bbd ,healthy ,people--,most ,children1 #bbf ,heartburn1 #bgf1 #ceg ,headache1 #bhj1 #cee1 #cfj1 #cfc ,health ,rules for ,babies1 #cad ,history of ,marriage1 #acb ,hints on ,courtship and ,marriage1 #adh-aec ,hints in ,choosing a ,partner1 #afb ,hives1 #ced1 #cfj ,home ,ties1 #f1 #bb ,home1 ,the ,best ,regulated1 #ad ,honesty or ,knavery1 #ag ,home ,power1 #bc ,home ,makes the ,man1 #bc ,home the ,best of ,schools1 #be ,homely ,men1 #abh ,honeymoon1 ,how to ,perpetuate1 #bji ,home ,treatment1 ,diseases of ,children1 #cch ,home ,treatment of the ,secret ,habit1 #dee ,how to ,write ,letters1 #cd-dg ,how to ,write ,love ,letters1 #cg ,how to ,write ,social ,letters1 #ci ,how to ,determine ,perfect ,human ,figure1 #ii ,how to be a ,good ,wife1 #baj ,how to be a ,good ,husband1 #bab ,how to ,calculate ,time of ,labor1 #bie ,how to ,keep a ,baby ,well1 #ccj-cce ,how to ,cook for the ,sick1 #cge ,how ,many ,girls are ,ruined1 #aij ,how to ,overcome ,secret ,habit1 #chi ,how to ,tell a ,victim of the ,secret ,habit1 #dea ,how to ,tell ,children the ,story of ,life1 #cij-cie1 #dja-djc ,hot ,water for all ,diseases1 #cfh ,husband1 ,whom to ,choose for a1 #add ,husband's ,brutality1 #dab ,hymen or ,vaginal ,valve1 #bjb1 #bjc1 #bcf ,hysteria1 #cdi ,i ,ignorance1 #bd ,illicit ,pleasures1 #bjg ,illegitimates or ,bastards1 #bbd ,illegitimates1 ,character of1 #bbe ,impulse1 #ad ,impolite1 #gj ,improper ,liberties1 #afh ,improvement of the ,race1 #bcb ,impotence and ,sterility #bdh ,impotence1 ,lack of ,sexual ,vigor1 #bea ,improper ,liberties ,during ,courtship1 #bfg ,impregnation or ,conception1 #bfi1 #bhc ,impregnation ,artificial1 #bgj ,immorality1 ,disease and ,death1 #daf ,independence1 ,the ,growth of1 #f ,influences1 #ah ,integrity1 #ai ,influence1 ,the ,mother's1 #ba ,influence of ,women1 #cj ,intelligence1 #abf-aca ,intercourse1 ,proper1 #bje ,indulgence1 ,the ,time for1 #bjg ,intercourse1 ,frequency of1 #bjh ,intercourse ,during ,pregnancy1 #bjg1 #bhc ,infanticide1 #bee ,infantile ,convulsions1 #cai ,indigestion1 #cbh ,infant ,teething1 #ccf ,inflammation of ,womb1 #cdi ,inhumanities of ,parents1 #cif ,itching of ,external ,parts1 #bgi ,j ,jealousy1 #aef ,jealousy--,its ,cause and ,cure1 #bai ,juke ,family1 ,the1 #bdc ,k ,kalmuck ,tartar and ,marriage1 #afc ,keep the ,boys ,pure1 #dbi ,kindness1 #bh ,kissing1 #afh ,knowledge is ,safety1 #c ,l ,ladies' ,society1 #fa ,lady's ,dress in ,days of ,greece1 #ajj ,lacing1 #ajd ,large ,men1 #abf ,lack of ,knowledge1 #bfg ,letter ,writing1 #cd-dg ,letters1 ,social1 #ci ,leucorrhoea1 #bdg1 #cdi ,lessons for ,parents1 #cab ,life ,methods1 #ah ,licentiousness1 ,beginning of1 #aea ,limitation of ,offspring1 #bdb ,liver-,spots1 #bha ,love ,letters1 #cg ,love1 #aad-aag ,love1 ,power and ,peculiarities of1 #aah ,love1 ,turkish ,way of ,making1 #abj ,love and ,common ,sense1 #abc ,love-,spats1 #aed ,love for the ,dead1 #afj ,loss of ,desire1 #bje ,longevity1 #cfg ,loss of ,maiden ,purity1 #djd ,low ,fiction1 #dba ,lost ,manhood ,restored1 #dei ,lung ,trouble1 #cbf ,lustful ,eyes1 #daj ,m ,marriage ,excesses1 #bjh ,matrimonial ,infelicity1 #bag ,male ,sexual ,organs1 #bcd ,maternity a ,diadem of ,beauty1 #bfb ,marks and ,deformities1 #bfd ,maternity1 ,preparation for1 #bff ,marrying ,too ,early1 #bhh ,marry1 ,time to1 #cea ,man ,unsexed1 #djg ,marriage ,bed ,resolutions1 #dbg ,man's ,lost ,powers1 #dcf ,man1 ,the ,ideal1 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occurrences of ,prostrate have been changed to ,prostate when referring to the prostate gland4