,,routledge',s ,,manual ,,of ,,etiquette ,,etiquette ,,for ,,ladies ,,etiquette ,,for ,,gentlemen ,,ball-,,room ,,companion ,,courtship ,,matrimony ,,how ,,to ,,dress ,,well ,,how ,,to ,,carve ,,toasts ,,and ,,sentiments ,,george ,,routledge ,,and ,,sons ,,contents4 ,,etiquette ,,for ,,ladies4 ,i4 ,introductions ,,ii4 ,letters of ,introduction ,,iii4 ,visiting1 ,morning ,calls1 ,cards ,,iv4 ,conversation ,v4 ,notes of ,invitation1 c4 ,,vi4 ,the ,promenade ,,vii4 ,dress ,,viii4 ,morning and ,evening ,parties ,,ix4 ,the ,dinner-table ,x4 ,the ,ball-room ,,xi4 ,staying at a ,friend's ,house--,breakfast1 ,luncheon1 c4 ,,xii4 ,general ,hints 99 99 99 99 99 ,,etiquette ,,for ,,gentlemen4 ,i4 ,introductions ,,ii4 ,letters of ,introduction ,,iii4 ,visiting1 ,morning ,calls1 ,cards1 c4 ,,iv4 ,conversation ,v4 ,notes of ,invitation1 c4 ,,vi4 ,the ,promenade ,,vii4 ,dress ,,viii4 ,riding and ,driving ,,ix4 ,morning and ,evening ,parties ,x4 ,the ,dinner-table ,,xi4 ,the ,ball-room ,,xii4 ,staying at a ,friend's ,house--,breakfast1 ,luncheon1 c4 ,,xiii4 ,general ,hints 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ball-,,room ,,guide4 ,i4 ,how to organize a ,ball ,,ii4 ,ball-room ,toilette 7,ladies7 7,gentlemen7 ,,iii4 ,etiquette of the ,ball-room ,,iv4 ,the ,quadrille ,v4 ,the ,caledonians ,,vi4 ,the ,lancers ,,vii4 ,the ,double ,lancers ,,viii4 ,coulon's ,double ,quadrille ,,ix4 ,the ,polka ,x4 ,the ,cellarius ,,xi4 ,the ,mazurka ,quadrille ,,xii4 ,the ,polka ,mazurka ,,xiii4 ,the ,redowa1 or ,redova ,,xiv4 ,the ,schottische ,,xv4 ,the ,varsoviana1 or ,varsovienne ,,xvi4 ,the ,gorlitza ,,xvii4 ,the ,valse ,trois ,temps ,,xviii4 ,the ,valse ,deux ,temps ,,xix4 ,the ,new ,valse ,,xx4 ,the ,galop ,,xxi4 ,the ,cotillon ,,xxii4 ,the ,spanish ,dance ,,xxiii4 ,the ,tempte ,,xxiv4 ,sir ,roger de ,coverley ,,xxv4 ,glossary of ,terms used in ,dancing 99 99 99 99 99 ,,etiquette ,,of ,,courtship ,,and ,,matrimony4 ,i4--,,first ,,steps ,,in ,,courtship4 ,advice to both parties at the outset ,introduction to the ,lady's ,family ,,ii4--,,etiquette ,,of ,,courtship4 ,restrictions imposed by ,etiquette ,what the ,lady should observe in early ,courtship ,what the ,suitor should observe ,etiquette as to ,presents ,the ,proposal ,mode of ,refusal when not approved ,conduct to be observed by a ,rejected ,suitor ,refusal by the ,lady's ,parents or ,guardians ,,iii4--,,etiquette ,,of ,,an ,,engagement4 ,demeanour of the ,betrothed ,pair ,should a ,courtship be long or short8 ,,iv4--,,preliminary ,,etiquette ,,of ,a ,,wedding4 ,fixing the ,day ,how to be ,married3 by ,banns1 ,licence1 c4 ,the ,trousseau ,duties to be attended to by the ,bridegroom ,who should be asked to the ,wedding ,bridesmaids and ,bridegroom's-men1 ,duties of ,v4--,,etiquette ,,of ,a ,,wedding4 ,costume of ,bride1 ,bridesmaids1 and ,bridegroom ,arrival at the ,church ,the ,marriage ,ceremonial ,registry of the ,marriage ,return ,home and ,wedding ,breakfast ,departure for the ,honeymoon ,,vi4--,,etiquette ,,after ,,the ,,wedding4 ,wedding ,cards3 ,modern ,practice of ,no ,cards ,reception and ,return of ,wedding ,visits ,,vii4 ,practical ,advice to a ,newly-married ,couple 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,dress ,,well4 ,i4 ,introduction ,,ii4 ,taste in ,dress ,,iii4 ,fashion in ,dress ,,iv4 ,expense of ,dress ,v4 ,accessories ,,vi4 ,a ,few ,words ,more 99 99 99 99 99 ,,how ,,to ,,carve4 ,hints on the ,dinner-table ,carving ,,fish4 ,turbot ,cod-,fish ,salmon1 c4 ,mackerel ,,joints4 ,haunch of ,venison or ,mutton ,saddle of ,mutton ,leg of ,mutton ,shoulder of ,mutton ,loin of ,mutton ,neck of ,mutton ,fore ,quarter of ,lamb ,sirloin of ,beef ,ribs of ,beef ,round of ,beef ,aitch-bone of ,beef ,rump or ,buttock of ,beef ,tongue ,calf's ,head ,loin of ,veal ,fillet of ,veal ,breast of ,veal ,knuckle of ,veal ,shoulder and ,neck of ,veal ,leg or ,hand of ,pork ,spare-rib of ,pork ,ham ,sucking ,pig ,,poultry ,,and ,,game4 ,goose ,turkey ,fowl ,duck ,wild ,duck ,pheasant ,grouse ,partridge ,woodcock or ,snipe ,pigeons ,small ,birds ,hare ,rabbit 99 99 99 99 99 ,,toasts ,,and ,,sentiments4 ,amatory ,bacchanalian ,comic ,conservative ,gastronomic ,english ,irish ,scotch ,liberal ,literary ,loyal ,masonic ,military ,naval ,religious ,sentimental ,sporting ,miscellaneous ,latin ,routledge's ,etiquette for ,ladies4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i4--,,introductions4 ,to introduce persons who are mutually unknown is to undertake a serious responsibility1 and to certify to each the respectability of the other4 ,never undertake this responsibility without in the first place asking yourself whether the persons are likely to be agreeable to each other2 nor1 in the second place1 without ascertaining whether it will be acceptable to both parties to become acquainted4 ,always introduce the gentleman to the lady--never the lady to the gentleman4 ,the chivalry of etiquette assumes that the lady is invariably the superior in right of her sex1 and that the gentleman is honoured in the introduction4 ,this rule is to be observed even when the social rank of the gentleman is higher than that of the lady4 ,where the sexes are the same1 always present the inferior to the superior4 ,never present a gentleman to a lady without first asking her permission to do so4 ,when you are introduced to a gentleman1 never offer your hand4 ,when introduced1 persons limit their recognition of each other to a bow4 ,on the ,continent1 ladies never shake hands with gentlemen unless under circumstances of great intimacy4 ,never introduce morning visitors who happen to encounter each other in your drawing-room1 unless they are persons whom you have already obtained permission to make known to each other4 ,visitors thus casually meeting in the house of a friend should converse with ease and freedom1 as if they were acquainted4 ,that they are both friends of the hostess is a sufficient guarantee of their respectability4 ,to be silent and stiff on such an occasion would show much-ignorance and ill-breeding4 ,persons who have met at the house of a mutual friend1 without being introduced1 should not bow if they afterwards meet elsewhere4 ,a bow implies acquaintance2 and persons who have not been introduced are not acquainted4 ,if you are walking with one friend1 and presently meet with1 or are joined by1 a third1 do not commit the too frequent error of introducing them to each other4 ,you have even less right to do so than if they encountered each other at your house during a morning call4 ,there are some exceptions to the etiquette of introductions4 ,at a ball1 or evening party where there is dancing1 the mistress of the house may introduce any gentleman to any lady without first asking the lady's permission4 ,but she should first ascertain whether the lady is willing to dance2 and this out of consideration for the gentleman1 who may otherwise be refused4 ,no man likes to be refused the hand of a lady1 though it be only for a quadrille4 ,a sister may present her brother1 or a mother her son1 without any kind of preliminary2 but only when there is no inferiority on the part of her own family to that of the acquaintance4 ,friends may introduce friends at the house of a mutual acquaintance2 but1 as a rule1 it is better to be introduced by the mistress of the house4 ,such an introduction carries more authority with it4 ,introductions at evening parties are now almost wholly dispensed with4 ,persons who meet at a friend's house are ostensibly upon an equality1 and pay a bad compliment to the host by appearing suspicious and formal4 ,some old-fashioned country hosts yet persevere in introducing each new comer to all the assembled guests4 ,it is a custom that cannot be too soon abolished1 and one that places the last unfortunate visitor in a singularly awkward position4 ,all that she can do is to make a semicircular courtesy1 like a concert singer before an audience1 and bear the general gaze with as much composure as possible4 ,if1 when you enter a drawing-room1 your name has been wrongly announced1 or has passed unheard in the buzz of conversation1 make your way at once to the mistress of the house1 if you are a stranger1 and introduce yourself by name4 ,this should be done with the greatest simplicity1 and your rank made as little of as possible4 ,an introduction given at a ball for the mere purpose of conducting a lady through a dance does not give the gentleman any right to bow to her on a future occasion4 ,if he commits this error1 she may remember that she is not bound to see1 or return1 his salutation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ii4--,,letters ,,of ,,introduction4 ,do not lightly give or promise letters of introduction4 ,always remember that when you give a letter of introduction you lay yourself under an obligation to the friend to whom it is addressed4 ,if she lives in a great city1 such as ,paris or ,london1 you in a measure compel her to undergo the penalty of escorting the stranger to some of those places of public entertainment in which the capital abounds4 ,if your friend be a married lady1 and the mistress of a house1 you put her to the expense of inviting the stranger to her table4 ,we cannot be too cautious how we tax the time and purse of a friend1 or weigh too seriously the question of mutual advantage in the introduction4 ,always ask yourself whether the person introduced will be an acceptable acquaintance to the one to whom you present her2 and whether the pleasure of knowing her will compensate for the time or money which it costs to entertain her4 ,if the stranger is in any way unsuitable in habits or temperament1 you inflict an annoyance on your friend instead of a pleasure4 ,in questions of introduction never oblige one friend to the discomfort of another4 ,those to whom letters of introduction have been given1 should send them to the person to whom they are addressed1 and enclose a card4 ,never deliver a letter of introduction in person4 ,it places you in the most undignified position imaginable1 and compels you to wait while it is being read1 like a servant who has been told to wait for an answer4 ,there is also another reason why you should not be yourself the bearer of your introduction2 i4e41 you compel the other person to receive you1 whether she chooses or not4 ,it may be that she is sufficiently ill-bred to take no notice of the letter when sent1 and in such case1 if you presented yourself with it1 she would most probably receive you with rudeness4 ,it is1 at all events1 more polite on your part to give her the option1 and1 perhaps1 more pleasant4 ,if the receiver of the letter be a really well-bred person1 she will call upon you or leave her card the next day1 and you should return her attentions within the week4 ,if1 on the other hand1 a stranger sends you a letter of introduction and her card1 you are bound by the laws of politeness and hospitality1 not only to call upon her the next day1 but to follow up that attention with others4 ,if you are in a position to do so1 the most correct proceeding is to invite her to dine with you4 ,should this not be within your power1 you can probably escort her to some of the exhibitions1 bazaars1 or concerts of the season2 any of which would be interesting to a foreigner or provincial visitor4 ,in short1 etiquette demands that you shall exert yourself to show kindness to the stranger1 if only out of compliment to the friend who introduced her to you4 ,if you invite her to dine with you1 it is a better compliment to ask some others to meet her than to dine with her tte--tte4 ,you are thereby giving her an opportunity of making other acquaintances1 and are assisting your friend in still farther promoting the purpose for which she gave her the introduction to yourself4 ,be careful at the same time only to ask such persons as she will feel are at least her own social equals4 ,a letter of introduction should be given unsealed1 not alone because your friend may wish to know what you have said of her1 but also as a guarantee of your own good faith4 ,as you should never give such a letter unless you can speak highly of the bearer1 this rule of etiquette is easy to observe4 ,by requesting your friend to fasten the envelope before forwarding the letter to its destination1 you tacitly give her permission to inspect its contents4 ,let your note-paper be of the best quality and the proper size4 ,albert or ,queen's size is the best for these purposes4 ,it has been well said that attention to the punctilios of politeness is a proof at once of self-respect1 and of respect for your friend4 ,though irksome at first1 these trifles soon cease to be matters for memory1 and become things of mere habit4 ,to the thoroughly well-bred they are a second nature4 ,let no one neglect them who is desirous of pleasing in society2 and1 above all1 let no one deem them unworthy of attention4 ,they are precisely the trifles which do most to make social intercourse agreeable1 and a knowledge of which distinguishes the gentlewoman from the parvenue4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iii4--,,visiting4--,,morning ,,calls4--,,cards4 ,a morning visit should be paid between the hours of two and four p4m41 in winter1 and two and five in summer4 ,by observing this rule you avoid intruding before the luncheon is removed1 and leave in sufficient time to allow the lady of the house an hour or two of leisure for her dinner toilette4 ,be careful always to avoid luncheon hours when you pay morning visits4 ,some ladies dine with their children at half-past one1 and are consequently unprepared for the early reception of visitors4 ,when you have once ascertained this to be the case1 be careful never again to intrude at the same hour4 ,a good memory for these trifles is one of the hall-marks of good breeding4 ,visits of ceremony should be short4 ,if even the conversation should have become animated1 beware of letting your call exceed half-an-hour's length4 ,it is always better to let your friends regret than desire your withdrawal4 ,on returning visits of ceremony you may1 without impoliteness1 leave your card at the door without going in4 ,do not fail1 however1 to inquire if the family be well4 ,should there be daughters or sisters residing with the lady upon whom you call1 you may turn down a corner of your card1 to signify that the visit is paid to all4 ,it is in better taste1 however1 to leave cards for each4 ,unless when returning thanks for kind inquiries1 or announcing your arrival in1 or departure from1 town1 it is not considered respectful to send round cards by a servant4 ,leave-taking cards have ,p4,p4,c4 7pour prendre cong7 written in the corner4 ,some use ,p4,d4,a4 7pour dire adieu74 ,it is not the fashion on the ,continent for unmarried ladies to affix any equivalent to the ,english ,miss to their visiting cards4 ,emilie ,dubois1 or ,ktchen ,clauss1 is thought more simple and elegant than if preceded by ,mademoiselle or ,fralein4 ,some ,english girls have of late adopted this good custom1 and it would be well if it became general4 ,autographic facsimiles for visiting cards are affectations in any persons but those who are personally remarkable for talent1 and whose autographs1 or facsimiles of them1 would be prized as curiosities4 ,a card bearing the autographic signature of ,agnes ,strickland or ,mary ,somerville1 though only a lithographic facsimile1 would have a certain interest2 whereas the signature of ,jane ,smith would be not only valueless2 but would make the owner ridiculous4 ,visits of condolence are paid within the week after the event which occasions them4 ,personal visits of this kind are made by relations and very intimate friends only4 ,acquaintances should leave cards with narrow mourning borders4 ,on the first occasion when you are received by the family after the death of one of its members1 it is etiquette to wear slight mourning4 ,umbrellas should invariably be left in the hall4 ,never take favourite dogs into a drawing-room when you make a morning call4 ,their feet may be dusty1 or they may bark at the sight of strangers1 or1 being of too friendly a disposition1 may take the liberty of lying on a lady's gown1 or jumping on the sofas and easy chairs4 ,where your friend has a favourite cat already established before the fire1 a battle may ensue1 and one or other of the pets be seriously hurt4 ,besides1 many persons have a constitutional antipathy to dogs1 and others never allow their own to be seen in the sitting-rooms4 ,for all or any of these reasons1 a visitor has no right to inflict upon her friend the society of her dog as well as of herself4 ,neither is it well for a mother to take young children with her when she pays morning visits2 their presence1 unless they are unusually well trained1 can only be productive of anxiety to both yourself and your hostess4 ,she1 while striving to amuse them1 or to appear interested in them1 is secretly anxious for the fate of her album1 or the ornaments on her tagre2 while the mother is trembling lest her children should say or do something objectionable4 ,if other visitors are announced1 and you have already remained as long as courtesy requires1 wait till they are seated1 and then rise from your chair1 take leave of your hostess1 and bow politely to the newly arrived guests4 ,you will1 perhaps1 be urged to remain1 but1 having once risen1 it is best to go4 ,there is always a certain air of gaucherie in resuming your seat and repeating the ceremony of leave-taking4 ,if you have occasion to look at your watch during a call1 ask permission to do so1 and apologise for it on the plea of other appointments4 ,in receiving morning visitors1 it is not necessary that the lady should lay aside the employment in which she may be engaged1 particularly if it consists of light or ornamental needle-work4 ,politeness1 however1 requires that music1 drawing1 or any occupation which would completely engross the attention1 be at once abandoned4 ,you need not advance to receive visitors when announced1 unless they are persons to whom you are desirous of testifying particular attention4 ,it is sufficient if a lady rises to receive her visitors1 moves forward a single step to shake hands with them1 and remains standing till they are seated4 ,when your visitors rise to take leave you should rise also1 and remain standing till they have quite left the room4 ,do not accompany them to the door1 but be careful to ring in good time1 that the servant may be ready in the hall to let them out4 ,a lady should dress well1 but not too richly1 when she pays a morning visit4 ,if she has a carriage at command1 she may dress more elegantly than if she were on foot4 ,the question of morning and afternoon dress will be found fully treated in ,section ,,vii4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iv4--,,conversation4 ,there is no conversation so graceful1 so varied1 so sparkling1 as that of an intellectual and cultivated woman4 ,excellence in this particular is1 indeed1 one of the attributes of the sex1 and should be cultivated by every gentlewoman who aspires to please in general society4 ,in order to talk well1 three conditions are indisputable1 namely--tact1 a good memory1 and a fair education4 ,remember that people take more interest in their own affairs than in anything else which you can name4 ,if you wish your conversation to be thoroughly agreeable1 lead a mother to talk of her children1 a young lady of her last ball1 an author of his forthcoming book1 or an artist of his exhibition picture4 ,having furnished the topic1 you need only listen2 and you are sure to be thought not only agreeable1 but thoroughly sensible and well-informed4 ,be careful1 however1 on the other hand1 not always to make a point of talking to persons upon general matters relating to their professions4 ,to show an interest in their immediate concerns is flattering2 but to converse with them too much about their own arts looks as if you thought them ignorant of other topics4 ,remember in conversation that a voice gentle and low is1 above all other extraneous acquirements1 an excellent thing in woman4 ,there is a certain distinct but subdued tone of voice which is peculiar to only well-bred persons4 ,a loud voice is both disagreeable and vulgar4 ,it is better to err by the use of too low than too loud a tone4 ,remember that all slang is vulgar4 ,it has become of late unfortunately prevalent1 and we know many ladies who pride themselves on the saucy chique with which they adopt certain ,americanisms1 and other cant phrases of the day4 ,such habits cannot be too severely reprehended4 ,they lower the tone of society and the standard of thought4 ,it is a great mistake to suppose that slang is in any way a substitute for wit4 ,the use of proverbs is equally vulgar in conversation2 and puns1 unless they rise to the rank of witticisms1 are to be scrupulously avoided4 ,a lady-punster is a most unpleasing phenomenon1 and we would advise no young woman1 however witty she may be1 to cultivate this kind of verbal talent4 ,long arguments in general company1 however entertaining to the disputants1 are tiresome to the last degree to all others4 ,you should always endeavour to prevent the conversation from dwelling too long upon one topic4 ,religion is a topic which should never be introduced in society4 ,it is the one subject on which persons are most likely to differ1 and least able to preserve temper4 ,never interrupt a person who is speaking4 ,it has been aptly said that if you interrupt a speaker in the middle of his sentence1 you act almost as rudely as if1 when walking with a companion1 you were to thrust yourself before him1 and stop his progress4 ,to listen well is almost as great an art as to talk well4 ,it is not enough only to listen4 ,you must endeavour to seem interested in the conversation of others4 ,it is considered extremely ill-bred when two persons whisper in society1 or converse in a language with which all present are not familiar4 ,if you have private matters to discuss1 you should appoint a proper time and place to do so1 without paying others the ill compliment of excluding them from your conversation4 ,if a foreigner be one of the guests at a small party1 and does not understand ,english sufficiently to follow what is said1 good breeding demands that the conversation shall be carried on in his own language4 ,if at a dinner-party1 the same rule applies to those at his end of the table4 ,if upon the entrance of a visitor you carry on the thread of a previous conversation1 you should briefly recapitulate to him what has been said before he arrived4 ,do not be always witty1 even though you should be so happily gifted as to need the caution4 ,to outshine others on every occasion is the surest road to unpopularity4 ,always look1 but never stare1 at those with whom you converse4 ,in order to meet the general needs of conversation in society1 it is necessary that a gentlewoman should be acquainted with the current news and historical events of at least the last few years4 ,never talk upon subjects of which you know nothing1 unless it be for the purpose of acquiring information4 ,many young ladies imagine that because they play a little1 sing a little1 draw a little1 and frequent exhibitions and operas1 they are qualified judges of art4 ,no mistake is more egregious or universal4 ,those who introduce anecdotes into their conversation are warned that these should invariably be short1 witty1 eloquent1 new1 and not far-fetched4 ,scandal is the least excusable of all conversational vulgarities4 ,in conversing with a woman of rank1 do not too frequently give her her title4 ,only a lady's-maid interlards every sentence with ,my ,lady1 or ,my ,lord4 ,it is1 however1 well to show that you remember the station of your interlocutor by now and then introducing some such phrase as--,i think ,i have already mentioned to your ,grace--or1 ,i believe1 ,madam1 you were observing-- ,a peer or baron may occasionally1 as in an address1 be styled ,my ,lord1 but a lady of equal rank must only be addressed as ,madam4 ,in general1 however1 a nobleman or lady of high rank should only be addressed as you would address any other gentleman or lady4 ,the ,prince of ,wales himself is only styled ,sir in conversation1 and the ,queen ,madam4 99 99 99 99 99 ,v4--,,notes ,,of ,,invitation1 ,c4 ,notes of invitation and acceptance are written in the third person and the simplest style4 ,the old-fashioned preliminary of presenting compliments is discontinued by the most elegant letter writers4 ,all notes of invitation are now issued in the name of the mistress of the house only1 as follows3-- ,mrs4 ,norman requests the honour of ,sir ,george and ,lady ,thurlow's company at an evening party1 on ,monday1 #adth of ,june4 ,others prefer the subjoined form1 which is purchaseable ready printed upon either cards or note paper1 with blanks for names or dates3-- ,mrs4 ,norman1 ,at home1 ,monday evening1 ,june #adth inst4 ,an ,at home is1 however1 considered somewhat less stately than an evening party1 and partakes more of the character of a conversazione4 ,the reply to a note of invitation should be couched as follows3-- ,mr4 ,berkeley has much pleasure in accepting ,mrs4 ,norman's polite invitation for ,monday evening1 ,june the #adth instant4 ,never avail yourself of an invitation4 ,above all1 never speak or write of an invitation as an invite4 ,it is neither good breeding nor good ,english4 ,notes of invitation and reply should be written on small paper of the best quality1 and enclosed in envelopes to correspond4 ,note paper of the most dainty and fastidious kind may be used by a lady with propriety and elegance1 but only when she is writing to her friends and equals4 ,business letters or letters to her tradespeople should be written on plain paper1 and enclosed either in an adhesive envelope1 or sealed with red wax4 ,never omit the address and date from any letter1 whether of business or friendship4 ,letters in the first person addressed to strangers should begin with ,sir1 or ,madam1 and end with ,i have the honour to be your very obedient servant4 ,some object to this form of words from a mistaken sense of pride2 but it is merely a form1 and1 rightly apprehended1 evinces a proud humility1 which implies more condescension than a less formal phrase4 ,at the end of your letter1 at some little distance below your signature1 and in the left corner of your paper1 write the name of the person to whom your letter is addressed2 as ,lady ,dalhousie1 or ,edward ,munroe1 ,esquire4 ,it is more polite to write ,esquire at full length than to curtail it to ,esq4 ,in writing to persons much your superior or inferior1 use as few words as possible4 ,in the former case1 to take up much of a great man's time is to take a liberty2 in the latter1 to be diffuse is to be too familiar4 ,it is only in familiar correspondence that long letters are permissible4 ,in writing to a tradesman1 begin your letter by addressing him by name1 as-- ,mr4 ,jones1--,sir4 ,a letter thus begun may1 with propriety1 be ended with-- ,sir1 yours truly4 ,letters to persons whom you meet frequently in society1 without having arrived at intimacy1 may commence with ,dear ,madam1 and end with ,i am1 dear ,madam1 yours very truly4 ,letters commencing ,my dear ,madam1 addressed to persons whom you appreciate1 and with whom you are on friendly terms1 may end with ,i am1 my dear ,madam1 yours very faithfully1 or yours very sincerely4 ,to be prompt in replying to a letter is to be polite4 ,lady correspondents are too apt to over-emphasize in their letter-writing1 and in general evince a sad disregard of the laws of punctuation4 ,we would respectfully suggest that a comma is not designed to answer every purpose1 and that the underlining of every second or third word adds nothing to the eloquence or clearness of a letter1 however certain it may be to provoke an unflattering smile upon the lips of the reader4 ,all letters must be prepaid4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vi4--,,the ,,promenade4 ,in ,england1 a lady may accept the arm of a gentleman with whom she is walking1 even though he be only an acquaintance4 ,this is not the case either in ,america or on the ,continent4 ,there a lady can take the arm of no gentleman who is not either her husband1 lover1 or near relative4 ,if a lady has been making purchases during her walk1 she may permit the gentleman who accompanies her to carry any small1 parcel that she may have in her own hand2 but she should not burthen him with more than one under any circumstances whatever4 ,two ladies may without any impropriety take each one arm of a single cavalier2 but one lady cannot1 with either grace or the sanction of custom take the arms of two gentlemen at the same time4 ,when a lady is walking with a gentleman in a park1 or public garden1 or through the rooms of an exhibition1 and becomes fatigued1 it is the gentleman's duty to find her a seat4 ,if1 however1 as is very frequently the case1 he is himself obliged to remain standing1 the lady should make a point of rising as soon as she is sufficiently rested1 and not abuse either the patience or politeness of her companion4 ,it is the place of the lady to bow first1 if she meets a gentleman of her acquaintance4 ,when you meet friends or acquaintances in the streets1 the exhibitions1 or any public places1 be careful not to pronounce their names so loudly as to attract the attention of bystanders4 ,never call across the street1 or attempt to carry on a dialogue in a public vehicle1 unless your interlocutor occupies the seat beside your own4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vii4--,,dress4 ,to dress well requires something more than a full purse and a pretty figure4 ,it needs taste1 good sense1 and refinement4 ,dress may almost be classed as one of the fine arts4 ,it is certainly one of those arts1 the cultivation of which is indispensable to any person moving in the upper or middle classes of society4 ,very clever women are too frequently indifferent to the graces of the toilette2 and women who wish to be thought clever affect indifference4 ,in the one case it is an error1 and in the other a folly4 ,it is not enough that a gentlewoman should be clever1 or well-educated1 or well-born4 ,to take her due place in society1 she must be acquainted with all that this little book proposes to teach4 ,she must1 above all else1 know how to enter a room1 how to perform a graceful salutation1 and how to dress4 ,of these three important qualifications1 the most important1 because the most observed1 is the latter4 ,let your style of dress always be appropriate to the hour of the day4 ,to dress too finely in the morning1 or to be seen in a morning dress in the evening1 is equally vulgar and out of place4 ,light and inexpensive materials are fittest for morning wear2 dark silk dresses for the promenade or carriage2 and low dresses of rich or transparent stuffs for the dinner and ball4 ,a young lady cannot dress with too much simplicity in the early part of the day4 ,a morning dress of some simple material1 and delicate whole colour1 with collar and cuffs of spotless linen1 is1 perhaps1 the most becoming and elegant of morning toilettes4 ,never dress very richly or showily in the street4 ,it attracts attention of no enviable kind1 and is looked upon as a want of good breeding4 ,in the carriage a lady may dress as elegantly as she pleases4 ,with respect to ball-room toilette1 its fashions are so variable1 that statements which are true of it to-day1 may be false a month hence4 ,respecting no institution of modern society is it so difficult to pronounce half-a-dozen permanent rules4 ,we may1 perhaps1 be permitted to suggest the following leading principles2 but we do so with diffidence4 ,rich colours harmonize with rich brunette complexions and dark hair4 ,delicate colours are the most suitable for delicate and fragile styles of beauty4 ,very young ladies are never so suitably attired as in white4 ,ladies who dance should wear dresses of light and diaphanous materials1 such as tulle1 gauze1 crape1 net1 c41 over coloured silk slips4 ,silk dresses are not suitable for dancing4 ,a married lady who dances only a few quadrilles may wear a dcollet silk dress with propriety4 ,very stout persons should never wear white4 ,it has the effect of adding to the bulk of the figure4 ,black and scarlet1 or black and violet1 are worn in mourning4 ,a lady in deep mourning should not dance at all4 ,however fashionable it may be to wear very long dresses1 those ladies who go to a ball with the intention of dancing and enjoying the dance1 should cause their dresses to be made short enough to clear the ground4 ,we would ask them whether it is not better to accept this slight deviation from an absurd fashion1 than to appear for three parts of the evening in a torn and pinned-up skirt8 ,well-made shoes1 whatever their colour or material1 and faultless gloves1 are indispensable to the effect of a ball-room toilette4 ,much jewellery is out of place in a ball-room4 ,beautiful flowers1 whether natural or artificial1 are the loveliest ornaments that a lady can wear on these occasions4 ,at small dinner parties1 low dresses are not so indispensable as they were held to be some years since4 ,high dresses of transparent materials1 and low bodices with capes of black lace1 are considered sufficiently full dress on these occasions4 ,at large dinners only the fullest dress is appropriate4 ,very young ladies should wear but little jewellery4 ,pearls are deemed most appropriate for the young and unmarried4 ,let your jewellery be always the best of its kind4 ,nothing is so vulgar1 either in youth or age1 as the use of false ornaments4 ,there is as much propriety to be observed in the wearing of jewellery as in the wearing of dresses4 ,diamonds1 pearls1 rubies1 and all transparent precious stones belong to evening dress1 and should on no account be worn before dinner4 ,in the morning let your rings be of the more simple and massive kind2 wear no bracelets2 and limit your jewellery to a good brooch1 gold chain1 and watch4 ,your diamonds and pearls would be as much out of place during the morning as a low dress1 or a wreath4 ,it is well to remember in the choice of jewellery that mere costliness is not always the test of value2 and that an exquisite work of art1 such as a fine cameo1 or a natural rarity1 such as a black pearl1 is a more distingu possession than a large brilliant which any rich and tasteless vulgarian can buy as easily as yourself4 ,of all precious stones1 the opal is one of the most lovely and least commonplace4 ,no vulgar woman purchases an opal4 ,she invariably prefers the more showy ruby1 emerald1 or sapphire4 ,a true gentlewoman is always faultlessly neat4 ,no richness of toilette in the afternoon1 no diamonds in the evening1 can atone for unbrushed hair1 a soiled collar1 or untidy slippers at breakfast4 ,never be seen in the street without gloves2 and never let your gloves be of any material that is not kid or calf4 ,worsted or cotton gloves are unutterably vulgar4 ,your gloves should fit to the last degree of perfection4 ,in these days of public baths and universal progress1 we trust that it is unnecessary to do more than hint at the necessity of the most fastidious personal cleanliness4 ,the hair1 the teeth1 the nails1 should be faultlessly kept2 and a muslin dress that has been worn once too often1 a dingy pocket-handkerchief1 or a soiled pair of light gloves1 are things to be scrupulously avoided by any young lady who is ambitious of preserving the exterior of a gentlewoman4 ,remember that the make of your corsage is of even greater importance than the make of your dress4 ,no dressmaker can fit you well1 or make your bodices in the manner most becoming to your figure1 if the corsage beneath be not of the best description4 ,your boots and gloves should always be faultless4 ,perfumes should be used only in the evening1 and then in moderation4 ,let your perfumes be of the most delicate and recherch kind4 ,nothing is more vulgar than a coarse ordinary scent2 and of all coarse1 ordinary scents1 the most objectionable are musk and patchouli4 ,finally1 every lady should remember that to dress well is a duty which she owes to society2 but that to make it her idol is to commit something worse than a folly4 ,fashion is made for woman2 not woman for fashion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,viii4--,,morning ,,and ,,evening ,,parties4 ,the morning party is a modern invention4 ,it was unknown to our fathers and mothers1 and even to ourselves till quite lately4 ,a morning party is seldom given out of the season--that is to say1 during any months except those of ,may1 ,june1 and ,july4 ,it begins about two o'clock and ends about five1 and the entertainment consists for the most part of conversation1 music1 and 7if there be a garden7 croquet1 lawn billiards1 archery1 c4 ,aunt ,sally is now out of fashion4 ,the refreshments are given in the form of a djeuner la fourchette4 ,elegant morning dress1 general good manners1 and some acquaintance with the topics of the day and the games above named1 are all the qualifications especially necessary to a lady at a morning party4 ,an evening party begins about nine o'clock p4m41 and ends about midnight1 or somewhat later4 ,good breeding neither demands that you should present yourself at the commencement1 nor remain till the close of the evening4 ,you come and go as may be most convenient to you1 and by these means are at liberty1 during the height of the season when evening parties are numerous1 to present yourself at two or three houses during a single evening4 ,when your name is announced1 look for the lady of the house1 and pay your respects to her before you even seem to see any other of your friends who may be in the room4 ,at very large and fashionable receptions1 the hostess is generally to be found near the door4 ,should you1 however1 find yourself separated by a dense crowd of guests1 you are at liberty to recognize those who are near you1 and those whom you encounter as you make your way slowly through the throng4 ,general salutations of the company are now wholly disused4 ,in society a lady only recognizes her own friends and acquaintances4 ,if you are at the house of a new acquaintance and find yourself among entire strangers1 remember that by so meeting under one roof you are all in a certain sense made known to one another1 and should1 therefore1 converse freely1 as equals4 ,to shrink away to a side-table and affect to be absorbed in some album or illustrated work2 or1 if you find one unlucky acquaintance in the room1 to fasten upon her like a drowning man clinging to a spar1 are gaucheries which no shyness can excuse4 ,if you possess any musical accomplishments1 do not wait to be pressed and entreated by your hostess1 but comply immediately when she pays you the compliment of inviting you to play or sing4 ,remember1 however1 that only the lady of the house has the right to ask you4 ,if others do so1 you can put them off in some polite way2 but must not comply till the hostess herself invites you4 ,be scrupulous to observe silence when any of the company are playing or singing4 ,remember that they are doing this for the amusement of the rest2 and that to talk at such a time is as ill-bred as if you were to turn your back upon a person who was talking to you1 and begin a conversation with some one else4 ,if you are yourself the performer1 bear in mind that in music1 as in speech1 brevity is the soul of wit4 ,two verses of a song1 or four pages of a piece1 are at all times enough to give pleasure4 ,if your audience desire more they will ask for more2 and it is infinitely more flattering to be encored than to receive the thanks of your hearers1 not so much in gratitude for what you have given them1 but in relief that you have left off4 ,you should try to suit your music1 like your conversation1 to your company4 ,a solo of ,beethoven's would be as much out of place in some circles as a comic song at a quakers' meeting4 ,to those who only care for the light popularities of the season1 give ,balfe and ,verdi1 ,glover and ,julien4 ,to connoisseurs1 if you perform well enough to venture1 give such music as will be likely to meet the exigencies of a fine taste4 ,above all1 attempt nothing that you cannot execute with ease and precision4 ,if the party be of a small and social kind1 and those games called by the ,french les jeux innocents are proposed1 do not object to join in them when invited4 ,it maybe that they demand some slight exercise of wit and readiness1 and that you do not feel yourself calculated to shine in them2 but it is better to seem dull than disagreeable1 and those who are obliging can always find some clever neighbour to assist them in the moment of need4 ,impromptu charades are frequently organized at friendly parties4 ,unless you have really some talent for acting and some readiness of speech1 you should remember that you only put others out and expose your own inability by taking part in these entertainments4 ,of course1 if your help is really needed1 and you would disoblige by refusing1 you must do your best1 and by doing it as quietly and coolly as possible1 avoid being awkward or ridiculous4 ,even though you may take no pleasure in cards1 some knowledge of the etiquette and rules belonging to the games most in vogue is necessary to you in society4 ,if a fourth hand is wanted at a rubber1 or if the rest of the company sit down to a round game1 you would be deemed guilty of an impoliteness if you refused to join4 ,the games most commonly played in society are whist1 loo1 vingt-et-un1 and speculation4 ,whist requires four players4,a ,a pack of cards being spread upon the table with their faces downwards1 the four players draw for partners4 ,those who draw the two highest cards and those who draw the two lowest become partners4 ,the lowest of all claims the deal4 ,married people should not play at the same table1 unless where the party is so small that it cannot be avoided4 ,this rule supposes nothing so disgraceful to any married couple as dishonest collusion2 but persons who play regularly together cannot fail to know so much of each other's mode of acting1 under given circumstances1 that the chances no longer remain perfectly even in favour of their adversaries4 ,never play for higher stakes than you can afford to lose without regret4 ,cards should be resorted to for amusement only2 for excitement1 never4 ,no well-bred person ever loses temper at the card-table4 ,you have no right to sit down to the game unless you can bear a long run of ill-luck with perfect composure1 and are prepared cheerfully to pass over any blunders that your partner may chance to make4 ,if you are an indifferent player1 make a point of saying so before you join a party at whist4 ,if the others are fine players they will be infinitely more obliged to you for declining than accepting their invitation4 ,in any case you have no right to spoil their pleasure by your bad play4 ,never let even politeness induce you to play for very high stakes4 ,etiquette is the minor morality of life2 but it never should be allowed to outweigh the higher code of right and wrong4 ,young ladies may decline to play at cards without being deemed guilty of impoliteness4 ,no very young lady should appear at an evening party without an escort4 ,in retiring from a crowded party it is unnecessary that you should seek out the hostess for the purpose of bidding her a formal good-night4 ,by doing this you would1 perhaps1 remind others that it was getting late1 and cause the party to break up4 ,if you meet the lady of the house on your way to the drawing-room door1 take your leave of her as unobtrusively as possible1 and slip away without attracting the attention of her other guests4 ,footnote ,a3 ,for a succinct guide to whist1 loo1 vingt-et-un1 speculation1 c41 c41 c41 see ,routledge's ,card-player1 by ,g4,f4 ,pardon1 price sixpence4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ix4--,,the ,,dinner-,,table4 ,to be acquainted with every detail of the etiquette pertaining to this subject is of the highest importance to every gentlewoman4 ,ease1 savoir faire1 and good breeding are nowhere more indispensable than at the dinner-table1 and the absence of them is nowhere more apparent4 ,how to eat soup and what to do with a cherry-stone are weighty considerations when taken as the index of social status2 and it is not too much to say1 that a young woman who elected to take claret with her fish1 or ate peas with her knife1 would justly risk the punishment of being banished from good society4 ,as this subject is one of the most important of which we have to treat1 we may be pardoned for introducing an appropriate anecdote related by the ,french poet ,delille3-- ,delille and ,marmontel were dining together in the month of ,april1 #aghf1 and the conversation happened to turn upon dinner-table customs4 ,marmontel observed how many little things a well-bred man was obliged to know1 if he would avoid being ridiculous at the tables of his friends4 ,they are1 indeed1 innumerable1 said ,delille2 and the most annoying fact of all is1 that not all the wit and good sense in the world can help one to divine them untaught4 ,a little while ago1 for instance1 the ,abb ,cosson1 who is ,professor of ,literature at the ,collge ,mazarin1 was describing to me a grand dinner to which he had been invited at ,versailles1 and to which he had sat down in the company of peers1 princes1 and marshals of ,france4 ',i'll wager now1' said ,i1 'that you committed a hundred blunders in the etiquette of the table6' ',how so8' replied the ,abb1 somewhat nettled4 ',what blunders could ,i make8 ,it seems to me that ,i did precisely as others did4' ',and ,i1 on the contrary1 would stake my life that you did nothing as others did4 ,but let us begin at the beginning1 and see which is right4 ,in the first place there was your table napkin--what did you do with that when you sat down at table8' ',what did ,i do with my table-napkin8 ,why1 ,i did like the rest of the guests3 ,i shook it out of the folds1 spread it before me1 and fastened one corner to my button-hole4' ',very well1 mon cher2 you were the only person who did so4 ,no one shakes1 spreads1 and fastens a table-napkin in that manner4 ,you should have only laid it across your knees4 ,what soup had you8' ',turtle4' ',and how did you eat it8' ',like every one else1 ,i suppose4 ,i took my spoon in one hand1 and my fork in the other--' ',your fork6 ,good heavens6 ,none but a savage eats soup with a fork4 ,but go on4 ,what did you take next8' ',a boiled egg4' ',good2 and what did you do with the shell8' ',not eat it1 certainly4 ,i left it1 of course1 in the egg-cup4' ',without breaking it through with your spoon8' ',without breaking it4' ',then1 my dear fellow1 permit me to tell you that no one eats an egg without breaking the shell and leaving the spoon standing in it4 ,and after your egg8' ',i asked for some bouilli4' ',for bouilli6 ,it is a term that no one uses4 ,you should have asked for beef--never for bouilli4 ,well1 and after the bouilli8' ',i asked the ,abb de ,radonvilliers for some fowl4' ',wretched man6 ,fowl1 indeed6 ,you should have asked for chicken or capon4 ,the word fowl is never heard out of the kitchen4 ,but all this applies only to what you ate2 tell me something of what you drank1 and how you asked for it4' ',i asked for champagne and bordeaux from those who had the bottles before them4' ',know then1 my good friend1 that only a waiter1 who has no time or breath to spare1 asks for champagne or bordeaux4 ,a gentleman asks for vin de champagne and vin de bordeaux4 ,and now inform me how you ate your bread8' ',undoubtedly like all the rest of the world4 ,i cut it into small square pieces with my knife4' ',then let me tell you that no one cuts bread4 ,you should always break it4 ,let us go on to the coffee4 ,how did you drink yours8' ',pshaw6 ,at least ,i could make no mistake in that4 ,it was boiling hot1 so ,i poured it1 a little at a time1 in the saucer1 and drank it as it cooled4' ',eh bien6 then you assuredly acted as no other gentleman in the room4 ,nothing can be more vulgar than to pour tea or coffee into a saucer4 ,you should have waited till it cooled1 and then have drunk it from the cup4 ,and now you see1 my dear cousin1 that so far from doing precisely as others did1 you acted in no one respect according to the laws prescribed by etiquette4' ,an invitation to dine should be replied to immediately1 and unequivocally accepted or declined4 ,once accepted1 nothing but an event of the last importance should cause you to fail in your engagement4 ,to be exactly punctual is the strictest politeness on these occasions4 ,if you are too early1 you are in the way2 if too late1 you spoil the dinner1 annoy the hostess1 and are hated by the rest of the guests4 ,some authorities are even of opinion that in the question of a dinner-party never is better than late2 and one author has gone so far as to say1 if you do not reach the house till dinner is served1 you had better retire1 and send an apology1 and not interrupt the harmony of the courses by awkward excuses and cold acceptance4 ,when the party is assembled1 the mistress or master of the house will point out to each gentleman the lady whom he is to conduct to table4 ,the guests then go down according to precedence of rank4 ,this order of precedence must be arranged by the host or hostess1 as the guests are probably unacquainted1 and cannot know each other's social rank4 ,when the society is of a distinguished kind the hostess will do well to consult ,debrett or ,burke1 before arranging her visitors4 ,when rank is not in question1 other claims to precedence must be considered4 ,the lady who is the greatest stranger should be taken down by the master of the house1 and the gentleman who is the greatest stranger should conduct the hostess4 ,married ladies take precedence of single ladies1 elder ladies of younger ones1 and so forth4 ,when dinner is announced1 the host offers his arm to the lady of most distinction1 invites the rest to follow by a few words or a bow1 and leads the way4 ,the lady of the house should then follow with the gentleman who is most entitled to that honour1 and the visitors follow in the order that has been previously arranged4 ,the lady of the house frequently remains1 however1 till the last1 that she may see her guests go down in their prescribed order2 but the plan is not a convenient one4 ,it is much better that the hostess should be in her place as the guests enter the dining-room1 in order that she may indicate their seats to them as they enter1 and not find them all crowded together in uncertainty when she arrives4 ,the number of guests at a dinner-party should always be determined by the size of the table4 ,when the party is too small1 conversation flags1 and a general air of desolation pervades the table4 ,when they are too many1 every one is inconvenienced4 ,a space of two feet should be allowed to each person4 ,it is well to arrange a party in such wise that the number of ladies and gentlemen be equal4 ,it requires some tact to distribute your guests so that each shall find himself with a neighbour to his taste2 but as much of the success of a dinner will always depend on this matter1 it is worth some consideration4 ,if you have a wit1 or a particularly good talker1 among your visitors1 it is well to place him near the centre of the table1 where he can be heard and talked to by all4 ,it is obviously a bad plan to place two such persons in close proximity4 ,they extinguish each other4 ,neither is it advisable to assign two neighbouring seats to two gentlemen of the same profession1 as they are likely to fall into exclusive conversation and amuse no one but themselves4 ,a little consideration of the politics1 religious opinions1 and tastes of his friends1 will enable a judicious host to avoid many quicksands1 and establish much pleasant intercourse on the occasion of a dinner-party4 ,the lady of the house takes the head of the table4 ,the gentleman who led her down to dinner occupies the seat on her right hand1 and the gentleman next in order of precedence1 that on her left4 ,the master of the house takes the foot of the table4 ,the lady whom he escorted sits on his right hand1 and the lady next in order of precedence on his left4 ,as soon as you are seated at table1 remove your gloves1 place your table-napkin across your knees1 and remove the roll which you find probably within it to the left side of your plate4 ,the soup should be placed on the table first4 ,some old-fashioned persons still place soup and fish together2 but it is a custom more honoured in the breach than the observance4 ,still more old-fashioned1 and in still worse taste is it to ask your guests if they will take soup or fish4 ,they are as much separate courses as the fish and the meat2 and all experienced diners take both4 ,in any case1 it is inhospitable to appear to force a choice upon a visitor1 when that visitor1 in all probability1 will prefer to take his soup first and his fish afterwards4 ,all well-ordered dinners begin with soup1 whether in summer or winter4 ,the lady of the house should help it1 and send it round without asking each individual in turn4 ,it is as much an understood thing as the bread beside each plate1 and those who do not choose it are always at liberty to leave it untasted4 ,in eating soup1 remember always to take it from the side of the spoon1 and to make no sound in doing so4 ,if the servants do not go round with wine the gentlemen should help the ladies and themselves to sherry or sauterne immediately after the soup4 ,you should never ask for a second supply of either soup or fish2 it delays the next course1 and keeps the table waiting4 ,never offer to assist your neighbours to this or that dish4 ,the word is inexpressibly vulgar--all the more vulgar for its affectation of elegance4 ,shall ,i send you some mutton8 or may ,i help you to grouse8 is better chosen and better bred4 ,as a general rule1 it is better not to ask your guests if they will partake of the dishes2 but to send the plates round1 and let them accept or decline them as they please4 ,at very large dinners it is sometimes customary to distribute little lists of the order of the dishes at intervals along the table4 ,it must be confessed that this gives somewhat the air of a dinner at an hotel2 but it has the advantage of enabling the visitors to select their fare1 and1 as forewarned is forearmed1 to keep a corner1 as the children say1 for their favourite dishes4 ,as soon as you are helped1 begin to eat2 or1 if the viands are too hot for your palate1 take up your knife and fork and appear to begin4 ,to wait for others is now not only old-fashioned1 but ill-bred4 ,never offer to pass on the plate to which you have been helped4 ,this is a still more vulgar piece of politeness1 and belongs to the manners of a hundred years ago4 ,the lady of the house who sends your plate to you is the best judge of precedence at her own table4 ,in helping soup1 fish1 or any other dish1 remember that to overfill a plate is as bad as to supply it too scantily4 ,silver fish-knives will now always be met with at the best tables2 but where there are none1 a piece of crust should be taken in the left hand1 and the fork in the right4 ,there is no exception to this rule in eating fish4 ,we presume it is scarcely necessary to remind our fair reader that she is never1 under any circumstances1 to convey her knife to her mouth4 ,peas are eaten with the fork2 tarts1 curry1 and puddings of all kinds with the spoon4 ,always help fish with a fish-slice1 and tart and puddings with a spoon1 or1 if necessary1 a spoon and fork4 ,asparagus must be helped with the asparagus-tongs4 ,in eating asparagus1 it is well to observe what others do1 and act accordingly4 ,some very well-bred people eat it with the fingers2 others cut off the heads1 and convey them to the mouth upon the fork4 ,it would be difficult to say which is the more correct4 ,in eating stone fruit1 such as cherries1 damsons1 c41 the same rule had better be observed4 ,some put the stones out from the month into a spoon1 and so convey them to the plate4 ,others cover the lips with the hand1 drop them unseen into the palm1 and so deposit them on the side of the plate4 ,in our own opinion1 the last is the better way1 as it effectually conceals the return of the stones1 which is certainly the point of highest importance4 ,of one thing we may be sure1 and that is1 that they must never be dropped from the mouth to the plate4 ,in helping sauce1 always pour it on the side of the plate4 ,if the servants do not go round with the wine 7which is by far the best custom71 the gentlemen at a dinner-table should take upon themselves the office of helping those ladies who sit near them4 ,young ladies seldom drink more than three glasses of wine at dinner2 but married ladies1 professional ladies1 and those accustomed to society and habits of affluence1 will habitually take five or even six1 whether in their own homes or at the tables of their friends4 ,the habit of taking wine with each other has almost wholly gone out of fashion4 ,a gentleman may ask the lady whom he conducted down to dinner2 or he may ask the lady of the house to take wine with him4 ,but even these last remnants of the old custom are fast falling into disuse4 ,unless you are a total abstainer1 it is extremely uncivil to decline taking wine if you are invited to do so4 ,in accepting1 you have only to pour a little fresh wine into your glass1 look at the person who invited you1 bow slightly1 and take a sip from the glass4 ,it is particularly ill-bred to empty your glass on these occasions4 ,certain wines are taken with certain dishes1 by old-established custom--as sherry1 or sauterne1 with soup and fish2 hock and claret with roast meat2 punch with turtle2 champagne with whitebait2 port with venison2 port1 or burgundy1 with game2 sparkling wines between the roast and the confectionery2 madeira with sweets2 port with cheese2 and for dessert1 port1 tokay1 madeira1 sherry1 and claret4 ,red wines should never be iced1 even in summer4 ,claret and burgundy should always be slightly warmed2 claret-cup and champagne-cup should1 of course1 be iced4 ,instead of cooling their wines in the ice-pail1 some hosts have of late years introduced clear ice upon the table1 broken up in small lumps1 to be put inside the glasses4 ,this is an innovation that cannot be too strictly reprehended or too soon abolished4 ,melting ice can but weaken the quality and flavour of the wine4 ,those who desire to drink wine and water can ask for iced water if they choose2 but it savours too much of economy on the part of a host to insinuate the ice inside the glasses of his guests when the wine could be more effectually iced outside the bottle4 ,a silver knife and fork should be placed to each guest at dessert4 ,it is wise never to partake of any dish without knowing of what ingredients it is composed4 ,you can always ask the servant who hands it to you1 and you thereby avoid all danger of having to commit the impoliteness of leaving it1 and showing that you do not approve of it4 ,never speak while you have anything in your mouth4 ,be careful never to taste soups or puddings till you are sure they are sufficiently cool2 as1 by disregarding this caution1 you may be compelled to swallow what is dangerously hot1 or be driven to the unpardonable alternative of returning it to your plate4 ,when eating or drinking1 avoid every kind of audible testimony to the facts4 ,finger-glasses1 containing water slightly warmed and perfumed1 are placed to each person at dessert4 ,in these you may dip the tips of your fingers1 wiping them afterwards on your table-napkin4 ,if the finger-glass and doyley are placed on your dessert-plate1 you should immediately remove the doyley to the left of your plate1 and place the finger-glass upon it4 ,by these means you leave the right for the wine-glasses4 ,be careful to know the shapes of the various kinds of wine-glasses commonly in use1 in order that you may never put forward one for another4 ,high and narrow1 and very broad and shallow glasses1 are used for champagne2 large1 goblet-shaped glasses for burgundy and claret2 ordinary wine-glasses for sherry and madeira2 green glasses for hock2 and somewhat large1 bell-shaped glasses1 for port4 ,port1 sherry1 and madeira1 are decanted4 ,hocks and champagnes appear in their native bottles4 ,claret and burgundy are handed round in a claret-jug4 ,the servants leave the room when the dessert is on the table4 ,coffee and liqueurs should be handed round when the dessert has been about a quarter of an hour on the table4 ,after this1 the ladies generally retire4 ,the lady of the house should never send away her plate1 or appear to have done eating1 till all her guests have finished4 ,if you should unfortunately overturn or break anything1 do not apologize for it4 ,you can show your regret in your face1 but it is not well-bred to put it into words4 ,to abstain from taking the last piece on the dish1 or the last glass of wine in the decanter1 only because it is the last1 is highly ill-bred4 ,it implies a fear on your part that the vacancy cannot be supplied1 and almost conveys an affront to your host4 ,to those ladies who have houses and servants at command1 we have one or two remarks to offer4 ,every housekeeper should be acquainted with the routine of a dinner and the etiquette of a dinner-table4 ,no lady should be utterly dependent on the taste and judgment of her cook4 ,though she need not know how to dress a dish1 she should be able to judge of it when served4 ,the mistress of a house1 in short1 should be to her cook what a publisher is to his authors--that is to say1 competent to form a judgment upon their works1 though himself incapable of writing even a magazine article4 ,if you wish to give a good dinner1 and do not know in what manner to set about it1 you will do wisely to order it from ,birch1 ,khn1 or any other first-rate restaurateur4 ,by these means you ensure the best cookery and a faultless carte4 ,bear in mind that it is your duty to entertain your friends in the best manner that your means permit4 ,this is the least you can do to recompense them for the expenditure of time and money which they incur in accepting your invitation4 ,to invite a friend to dinner1 says ,brillat ,savarin1 is to become responsible for his happiness so long as he is under your roof4 ,again3--,he who receives friends at his table1 without having bestowed his personal supervision upon the repast placed before them1 is unworthy to have friends4 ,a dinner1 to be excellent1 need not consist of a great variety of dishes2 but everything should be of the best1 and the cookery should be perfect4 ,that which should be cool should be cool as ice2 that which should be hot should be smoking2 the attendance should be rapid and noiseless2 the guests well assorted2 the wines of the best quality2 the host attentive and courteous2 the room well lighted2 and the time punctual4 ,every dinner should begin with soup1 be followed by fish1 and include some kind of game4 ,the soup is to the dinner1 we are told by ,grisnod de la ,regnire1 what the portico is to a building1 or the overture to an opera4 ,to this aphorism we may be permitted to add that a chasse of cognac or curaoa at the close of the dinner is like the epilogue at the end of a comedy4 ,never reprove or give directions to your servants before guests4 ,if a dish is not placed precisely where you would have wished it to stand1 or the order of a course is reversed1 let the error pass unobserved by yourself1 and you may depend that it will be unnoticed by others4 ,if you are a mother1 you will be wise never to let your children make their appearance at dessert when you entertain friends at dinner4 ,children are out of place on these occasions4 ,your guests only tolerate them through politeness2 their presence interrupts the genial flow of after-dinner conversation2 and you may rely upon it that1 with the exception of yourself1 and perhaps your husband1 there is not a person at table who does not wish them in the nursery4 ,the duties of hostess at a dinner-party are not onerous2 but they demand tact and good breeding1 grace of bearing1 and self-possession in no ordinary degree4 ,she does not often carve4 ,she has no active duties to perform2 but she must neglect nothing1 forget nothing1 put all her guests at their ease1 encourage the timid1 draw out the silent1 and pay every possible attention to the requirements of each and all around her4 ,no accident must ruffle her temper4 ,no disappointment must embarrass her4 ,she must see her old china broken without a sigh1 and her best glass shattered with a smile4 ,in short1 to quote the language of a clever contemporary1 she must have the genius of tact to perceive1 and the genius of finesse to execute2 ease and frankness of manner2 a knowledge of the world that nothing can surprise2 a calmness of temper that nothing can disturb2 and a kindness of disposition that can never be exhausted4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x4--,,the ,,ball-,,room4 ,as the number of guests at a dinner-party is regulated by the size of the table1 so should the number of invitations to a ball be limited by the proportions of the ball-room4 ,a prudent hostess will always invite a few more guests than she really desires to entertain1 in the certainty that there will be some deserters when the appointed evening comes round2 but she will at the same time remember that to overcrowd her room is to spoil the pleasure of those who love dancing1 and that a party of this kind when too numerously attended is as great a failure as one at which too few are present4 ,a room which is nearly square1 yet a little longer than it is broad1 will be found the most favourable for a ball4 ,it admits of two quadrille parties1 or two round dances1 at the same time4 ,in a perfectly square room this arrangement is not so practicable or pleasant4 ,a very long and narrow room is obviously of the worst shape for the purpose of dancing1 and is fit only for quadrilles and country dances4 ,the top of the ball-room is the part nearest the orchestra4 ,in a private room1 the top is where it would be if the room were a dining-room4 ,it is generally at the farthest point from the door4 ,dancers should be careful to ascertain the top of the room before taking their places1 as the top couples always lead the dances4 ,a good floor is of the last importance in a ball-room4 ,in a private house1 nothing can be better than a smooth1 well-stretched holland1 with the carpet beneath4 ,abundance of light and free ventilation are indispensable to the spirits and comfort of the dancers4 ,good music is as necessary to the prosperity of a ball as good wine to the excellence of a dinner4 ,no hostess should tax her friends for this part of the entertainment4 ,it is the most injudicious economy imaginable4 ,ladies who would prefer to dance are tied to the pianoforte2 and as few amateurs have been trained in the art of playing dance music with that strict attention to time and accent which is absolutely necessary to the comfort of the dancers1 a total and general discontent is sure to result4 ,to play dance music thoroughly well is a branch of the art which requires considerable practice4 ,it is as different from every other kind of playing as whale fishing is from fly fishing4 ,those who give private balls will do well ever to bear this in mind1 and to provide skilled musicians for the evening4 ,for a small party1 a piano and cornopean make a very pleasant combination4 ,unless where several instruments are engaged1 we do not recommend the introduction of the violin3 although in some respects the finest of all solo instruments1 it is apt to sound thin and shrill when employed on mere inexpressive dance tunes1 and played by a mere dance player4 ,invitations to a ball should be issued in the name of the lady of the house1 and written on small note paper of the best quality4 ,elegant printed forms1 some of them printed in gold or silver1 are to be had at every stationer's by those who prefer them4 ,the paper may be gilt-edged1 but not coloured4 ,the sealing-wax used should be of some delicate hue4 ,an invitation to a ball should be sent out at least ten days before the evening appointed4 ,a fortnight1 three weeks1 and even a month may be allowed in the way of notice4 ,not more than two or three days should be permitted to elapse before you reply to an invitation of this kind4 ,the reply should always be addressed to the lady of the house1 and should be couched in the same person as the invitation4 ,the following are the forms generally in use3-- ,mrs4 ,molyneux requests the honour of ,captain ,hamilton's company at an evening party1 on ,monday1 ,march the #aath instant4 ,dancing will begin at ,nine o'clock4 ,thursday1 ,march #ast4 99 99 99 99 99 ,captain ,hamilton has much pleasure in accepting ,mrs4 ,molyneux's polite invitation for ,monday evening1 ,march the #aath instant4 ,friday1 ,march #bnd4 ,the old form of presenting compliments is now out of fashion4 ,the lady who gives a ball,a should endeavour to secure an equal number of dancers of both sexes4 ,many private parties are spoiled by the preponderance of young ladies1 some of whom never get partners at all1 unless they dance with each other4 ,a room should in all cases be provided for the accommodation of the ladies4 ,in this room there ought to be several looking-glasses2 attendants to assist the fair visitors in the arrangement of their hair and dress2 and some place in which the cloaks and shawls can be laid in order1 and found at a moment's notice4 ,it is well to affix tickets to the cloaks1 giving a duplicate at the same time to each lady1 as at the public theatres and concert-rooms4 ,needles and thread should also be at hand1 to repair any little accident incurred in dancing4 ,another room should be devoted to refreshments1 and kept amply supplied with coffee1 lemonade1 ices1 wine1 and biscuits during the evening4 ,where this cannot be arranged1 the refreshments should be handed round between the dances4 ,the question of supper is one which so entirely depends on the means of those who give a ball or evening party1 that very little can be said upon it in a treatise of this description4 ,where money is no object1 it is of course always preferable to have the whole supper1 with all appliances and means to boot1 sent in from some first-rate house4 ,it spares all trouble whether to the entertainers or their servants1 and relieves the hostess of every anxiety4 ,where circumstances render such a course imprudent1 we would only observe that a home-provided supper1 however simple1 should be good of its kind1 and abundant in quantity4 ,dancers are generally hungry people1 and feel themselves much aggrieved if the supply of sandwiches proves unequal to the demand4 ,great inconvenience is often experienced through the difficulty of procuring cabs at the close of an evening party4 ,gentlemen who have been dancing1 and are unprepared for walking1 object to go home on foot1 or seek vehicles for their wives and daughters4 ,female servants who have been in attendance upon the visitors during a whole evening ought not to be sent out4 ,if even men-servants are kept1 they may find it difficult to procure as many cabs as are necessary4 ,the best thing that the giver of a private ball can do under these circumstances1 is to engage a policeman with a lanthorn to attend on the pavement during the evening1 and to give notice during the morning at a neighbouring cab-stand1 so as to ensure a sufficient number of vehicles at the time when they are likely to be required4 ,a ball generally begins about half-past nine or ten o'clock4 ,to attempt to dance without a knowledge of dancing is not only to make one's self ridiculous1 but one's partner also4 ,no lady has a right to place a partner in this absurd position4 ,never forget a ball-room engagement4 ,to do so is to commit an unpardonable offence against good breeding4 ,on entering the ball-room1 the visitor should at once seek the lady of the house1 and pay her respects to her4 ,having done this1 she may exchange salutations with such friends and acquaintances as may be in the room4 ,no lady should accept an invitation to dance from a gentleman to whom she has not been introduced4 ,in case any gentleman should commit the error of so inviting her1 she should not excuse herself on the plea of a previous engagement1 or of fatigue1 as to do so would imply that she did not herself attach due importance to the necessary ceremony of introduction4 ,her best reply would be to the effect that she would have much pleasure in accepting his invitation1 if he would procure an introduction to her4 ,this observation may be taken as applying only to public balls4 ,at a private party the host and hostess are sufficient guarantees for the respectability of their guests2 and although a gentleman would show a singular want of knowledge of the laws of society in acting as we have supposed1 the lady who should reply to him as if he were merely an impertinent stranger in a public assembly-room would be implying an affront to her entertainers4 ,the mere fact of being assembled together under the roof of a mutual friend is in itself a kind of general introduction of the guests to each other4 ,an introduction given for the mere purpose of enabling a lady and gentleman to go through a dance together does not constitute an acquaintanceship4 ,the lady is at liberty to pass the gentleman in the park the next day without recognition4 ,it is not necessary that a lady should be acquainted with the steps1 in order to walk gracefully and easily through a quadrille4 ,an easy carriage and a knowledge of the figure is all that is requisite4 ,a round dance1 however1 should on no account be attempted without a thorough knowledge of the steps1 and some previous practice4 ,no person who has not a good ear for time and tune need hope to dance well4 ,no lady should accept refreshments from a stranger at a public ball2 for she would thereby lay herself under a pecuniary obligation4 ,for these she must rely on her father1 brothers1 or old friends4 ,good taste forbids that a lady should dance too frequently with the same partner at either a public or private ball4 ,engaged persons should be careful not to commit this conspicuous solecism4 ,engagements for one dance should not be made while the present dance is yet in progress4 ,never attempt to take a place in a dance which has been previously engaged4 ,withdraw from a private ball-room as quietly as possible1 so that your departure may not be observed by others1 and cause the party to break up4 ,if you meet the lady of the house on your way out1 take your leave of her in such a manner that her other guests may not suppose you are doing so2 but do not seek her out for that purpose4 ,never be seen without gloves in a ball-room1 though it were for only a few moments4 ,ladies who dance much and are particularly soign in matters relating to the toilette1 take a second pair of gloves to replace the first when soiled4 ,a thoughtful hostess will never introduce a bad dancer to a good one1 because she has no right to punish one friend in order to oblige another4 ,it is not customary for married persons to dance together in society4 ,b ,footnote ,a3 ,it will be understood that we use the word ball to signify a private party1 where there is dancing1 as well as a public ball4 ,footnote ,b3 ,for a more detailed account of the laws and business of the ball1 see the chapter entitled ,the ,ball-room ,guide4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xi4--,,staying ,,at ,a ,,friend',s ,,house3--,,breakfast1 ,,luncheon1 c4 ,a visitor is bound by the laws of social intercourse to conform in all respects to the habits of the house4 ,in order to do this effectually1 she should inquire1 or cause her personal servant to inquire1 what those habits are4 ,to keep your friend's breakfast on the table till a late hour2 to delay the dinner by want of punctuality2 to accept other invitations1 and treat his house as if it were merely an hotel to be slept in2 or to keep the family up till unwonted hours1 are alike evidences of a want of good feeling and good breeding4 ,at breakfast and lunch absolute punctuality is not imperative2 but a visitor should avoid being always the last to appear at table4 ,no order of precedence is observed at either breakfast or luncheon4 ,persons take their seats as they come in1 and1 having exchanged their morning salutations1 begin to eat without waiting for the rest of the party4 ,if letters are delivered to you at breakfast or luncheon1 you may read them by asking permission from the lady who presides at the urn4 ,always hold yourself at the disposal of those in whose house you are visiting4 ,if they propose to ride1 drive1 walk1 or otherwise occupy the day1 you may take it for granted that these plans are made with reference to your enjoyment4 ,you should1 therefore1 receive them with cheerfulness1 enter into them with alacrity1 and do your best to seem pleased1 and be pleased1 by the efforts which your friends make to entertain you4 ,you should never take a book from the library to your own room without requesting permission to borrow it4 ,when it is lent1 you should take every care that it sustains no injury while in your possession1 and should cover it1 if necessary4 ,a guest should endeavour to amuse herself as much as possible1 and not be continually dependent on her hosts for entertainment4 ,she should remember that1 however welcome she may be1 she is not always wanted4 ,those who receive staying visitors1 as they are called1 should remember that the truest hospitality is that which places the visitor most at her ease1 and affords her the greatest opportunity for enjoyment4 ,they should also remember that different persons have different ideas on the subject of enjoyment1 and that the surest way of making a guest happy is to find out what gives her pleasure2 not to impose that upon her which is pleasure to themselves4 ,a visitor should avoid giving unnecessary trouble to the servants of the house1 and should be liberal to them on leaving4 ,the signal for retiring to rest is generally given by the appearance of the servant with wine1 water1 and biscuits1 where a late dinner-hour is observed and suppers are not the custom4 ,this is the last refreshment of the evening1 and the visitor will do well to rise and wish good-night shortly after it has been partaken of by the family4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xii4--,,general ,,hints4 ,do not frequently repeat the name of the person with whom you are conversing4 ,it implies either the extreme of hauteur or familiarity4 ,we have already cautioned you against the repetition of titles4 ,deference can always be better expressed in the voice1 manner1 and countenance than in any forms of words4 ,never speak of absent persons by only their christian or surnames2 but always as ,mr4 ---- or ,mrs4 ----4 ,above all1 never name anybody by the first letter of his name4 ,married people are sometimes guilty of this flagrant offence against taste4 ,no lady should permit any gentleman who is not a near relative1 or very old friend of her family1 to defray the cost of her entrance fee to any theatre or exhibition1 or to pay for her refreshments or vehicles when she happens to be out under his protection4 ,if a person of greater age or higher rank than yourself desires you to step first into a carriage1 or through a door1 it is more polite to bow and obey than to decline4 ,compliance with1 and deference to1 the wishes of others is the finest breeding4 ,when you cannot agree with the propositions advanced in general conversation1 be silent4 ,if pressed for your opinion1 give it with modesty4 ,never defend your own views too warmly4 ,when you find others remain unconvinced1 drop the subject1 or lead to some other topic4 ,look at those who address you4 ,never boast of your birth1 your money1 your grand friends1 or anything that is yours4 ,if you have travelled1 do not introduce that information into your conversation at every opportunity4 ,any one can travel with money and leisure4 ,the real distinction is to come home with enlarged views1 improved tastes1 and a mind free from prejudice4 ,if you present a book to a friend1 do not write his or her name in it1 unless requested4 ,you have no right to presume that it will be rendered any the more valuable for that addition2 and you ought not to conclude beforehand that your gift will be accepted4 ,never undervalue the gift which you are yourself offering2 you have no business to offer it if it is valueless4 ,neither say that you do not want it yourself1 or that you should throw it away if it were not accepted1 c41 c4 ,such apologies would be insults if true1 and mean nothing if false4 ,no compliment that bears insincerity on the face of it is a compliment at all4 ,unmarried ladies may not accept presents from gentlemen who are neither related nor engaged to them4 ,presents made by a married lady to a gentleman can only be offered in the joint names of her husband and herself4 ,married ladies may occasionally accept presents from gentlemen who visit frequently at their houses1 and who desire to show their sense of the hospitality which they receive there4 ,there is an art and propriety in the giving of presents which it requires a natural delicacy of disposition rightly to apprehend4 ,you must not give too rich a gift1 nor too poor a gift4 ,you must not give to one much wealthier than yourself2 and you must beware how you give to one much poorer1 lest you offend her pride4 ,you must never make a present with any expectation of a return2 and you must not be too eager to make a return yourself1 when you accept one4 ,a gift must not be ostentatious1 but it should be worth offering4 ,on the other hand1 mere costliness does not constitute the soul of a present4 ,a gift should be precious for something better than its price4 ,it may have been brought by the giver from some far or famous place2 it may be unique in its workmanship2 it may be valuable only from association with some great man or strange event4 ,autographic papers1 foreign curiosities1 and the like1 are elegant gifts4 ,an author may offer his book1 or a painter a sketch1 with grace and propriety4 ,offerings of flowers and game are unexceptionable1 and may be made even to those whose position is superior to that of the giver4 ,never refuse a present unless under very exceptional circumstances4 ,however humble the giver1 and however poor the gift1 you should appreciate the goodwill and intention1 and accept it with kindness and thanks4 ,never say ,i fear ,i rob you1 or ,i am really ashamed to take it1 c41 c4 ,such deprecatory phrases imply that you think the bestower of the gift cannot spare or afford it4 ,acknowledge the receipt of a present without delay4 ,give a foreigner his name in full1 as ,monsieur de ,vigny--never as ,monsieur only4 ,in speaking of him1 give him his title1 if he has one4 ,foreign noblemen are addressed viva voce as ,monsieur4 ,in speaking of a foreign nobleman before his face1 say ,monsieur le ,comte1 or ,monsieur le ,marquis4 ,in his absence1 say ,monsieur le ,comte de ,vigny4 ,converse with a foreigner in his own language4 ,if not competent to do so1 apologize1 and beg permission to speak ,english4 ,to get in and out of a carriage gracefully is a simple but important accomplishment4 ,if there is but one step1 and you are going to take your seat facing the horses1 put your left foot on the step1 and enter the carriage with your right1 in such a manner as to drop at once into your seat4 ,if you are about to sit with your back to the horses1 reverse the process4 ,as you step into the carriage1 be careful to keep your back towards the seat you are about to occupy1 so as to avoid the awkwardness of turning when you are once in4 ,members of one family should not converse together in society4 ,etiquette for ,gentlemen4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i4--,,introductions4 ,to introduce persons who are mutually unknown is to undertake a serious responsibility1 and to certify to each the respectability of the other4 ,never undertake this responsibility without in the first place asking yourself whether the persons are likely to be agreeable to each other2 nor1 in the second place1 without ascertaining whether it will be acceptable to both parties to become acquainted4 ,always introduce the gentleman to the lady--never the lady to the gentleman4 ,the chivalry of etiquette assumes that the lady is invariably the superior in right of her sex1 and that the gentleman is honoured in the introduction4 ,this rule is to be observed even when the social rank of the gentleman is higher than that of the lady4 ,where the sexes are the same1 always present the inferior to the superior4 ,never present a gentleman to a lady without first asking her permission to do so4 ,when you are introduced to a lady1 never offer your hand4 ,when introduced1 persons limit their recognition of each other to a bow4 ,on the ,continent1 ladies never shake hands with gentlemen unless under circumstances of great intimacy4 ,never introduce morning visitors who happen to encounter each other in your rooms1 unless they are persons whom you have already obtained permission to make known to each other4 ,visitors thus casually meeting in the house of a friend should converse with ease and freedom1 as if they were acquainted4 ,that they are both friends of the hostess is a sufficient guarantee of their respectability4 ,to be silent and stiff on such an occasion would show much ignorance and ill-breeding4 ,persons who have met at the house of a mutual friend without being introduced should not bow if they afterwards meet elsewhere4 ,a bow implies acquaintance2 and persons who have not been introduced are not acquainted4 ,if you are walking with one friend1 and presently meet with1 or are joined by1 a third1 do not commit the too frequent error of introducing them to each other4 ,you have even less right to do so than if they encountered each other at your house during a morning call4 ,there are some exceptions to the etiquette of introductions4 ,at a ball1 or evening party where there is dancing1 the mistress of the house may introduce any gentleman to any lady without first asking the lady's permission4 ,but she should first ascertain whether the lady is willing to dance2 and this out of consideration for the gentleman1 who may otherwise be refused4 ,no man likes to be refused the hand of a lady1 though it be only for a quadrille4 ,a brother may present his sister1 or a father his son1 without any kind of preliminary2 but only when there is no inferiority on the part of his own family to that of the acquaintance4 ,friends may introduce friends at the house of a mutual acquaintance2 but1 as a rule1 it is better to be introduced by the mistress of the house4 ,such an introduction carries more authority with it4 ,introductions at evening parties are now almost wholly dispensed with4 ,persons who meet at a friend's house are ostensibly upon an equality1 and pay a bad compliment to the host by appearing suspicious and formal4 ,some old-fashioned country hosts yet persevere in introducing each new comer to all the assembled guests4 ,it is a custom that cannot be too soon abolished1 and one that places the last unfortunate visitor in a singularly awkward position4 ,all that he can do is to make a semicircular bow1 like a concert singer before an audience1 and bear the general gaze with as much composure as possible4 ,if1 when you enter a drawing-room1 your name has been wrongly announced1 or has passed unheard in the buzz of conversation1 make your way at once to the mistress of the house1 if you are a stranger1 and introduce yourself by name4 ,this should be done with the greatest simplicity1 and your professional or titular rank made as little of as possible4 ,an introduction given at a ball for the mere purpose of conducting a lady through a dance does not give the gentleman any right to bow to her on a future occasion4 ,if he commits this error1 he must remember that she is not bound to see1 or return1 his salutation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ii4--,,letters ,,of ,,introduction4 ,do not lightly give or promise letters of introduction4 ,always remember that when you give a letter of introduction you lay yourself under an obligation to the friend to whom it is addressed4 ,if he lives in a great city1 such as ,paris or ,london1 you in a measure compel him to undergo the penalty of escorting the stranger to some of those places of public entertainment in which the capital abounds4 ,in any case1 you put him to the expense of inviting the stranger to his table4 ,we cannot be too cautious how we tax the time and purse of a friend1 or weigh too seriously the question of mutual advantage in the introduction4 ,always ask yourself whether the person introduced will be an acceptable acquaintance to the one to whom you present him2 and whether the pleasure of knowing him will compensate for the time or money which it costs to entertain him4 ,if the stranger is in any way unsuitable in habits or temperament1 you inflict an annoyance on your friend instead of a pleasure4 ,in questions of introduction never oblige one friend to the discomfort of another4 ,those to whom letters of introduction have been given should send them to the person to whom they are addressed1 and enclose a card4 ,never deliver a letter of introduction in person4 ,it places you in the most undignified position imaginable1 and compels you to wait while it is being read1 like a footman who has been told to wait for an answer4 ,there is also another reason why you should not be yourself the bearer of your introduction2 i4e41 you compel the other person to receive you1 whether he chooses or not4 ,it may be that he is sufficiently ill-bred to take no notice of the letter when sent1 and in such case1 if you presented yourself with it1 he would most probably receive you with rudeness4 ,it is1 at all events1 more polite on your part to give him the option1 and perhaps more pleasant4 ,if the receiver of the letter be a really well-bred person1 he will call upon you or leave his card the next day1 and you should return his attentions within the week4 ,if1 on the other hand1 a stranger sends you a letter of introduction and his card1 you are bound by the laws of politeness and hospitality1 not only to call upon him the next day1 but to follow up that attention with others4 ,if you are in a position to do so1 the most correct proceeding is to invite him to dine with you4 ,should this not be within your power1 you have probably the entre to some private collections1 clubhouses1 theatres1 or reading-rooms1 and could devote a few hours to showing him these places4 ,if you are but a clerk in a bank1 remember that only to go over the ,bank of ,england would be interesting to a foreigner or provincial visitor4 ,in short1 etiquette demands that you shall exert yourself to show kindness to the stranger1 if only out of compliment to the friend who introduced him to you4 ,if you invite him to dine with you1 it is a better compliment to ask some others to meet him1 than to dine with him tte--tte4 ,you are thereby giving him an opportunity of making other acquaintances1 and are assisting your friend in still further promoting the purpose for which he gave him the introduction to yourself4 ,be careful at the same time only to ask such persons as he will feel are at least his own social equals4 ,a letter of introduction should be given unsealed1 not alone because your friend may wish to know what you have said of him1 but also as a guarantee of your own good faith4 ,as you should never give such a letter unless you can speak highly of the bearer1 this rule of etiquette is easy to observe4 ,by requesting your friend to fasten the envelope before forwarding the letter to its destination1 you tacitly give him permission to inspect its contents4 ,let your note paper be of the best quality and the proper size4 ,albert or ,queen's size is the best for these purposes4 ,it has been well said that attention to the punctilios of politeness is a proof at once of self-respect1 and of respect for your friend4 ,though irksome at first1 these trifles soon cease to be matters for memory1 and become things of mere habit4 ,to the thoroughly well-bred1 they are a second nature4 ,let no one neglect them who is desirous of pleasing in society2 and1 above all1 let no one deem them unworthy of a wise man's attention4 ,they are precisely the trifles which do most to make social intercourse agreeable1 and a knowledge of which distinguishes the gentleman from the boor4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iii4--,,visiting4--,,morning ,,calls4--,,cards4 ,a morning visit should be paid between the hours of two and four p4m41 in winter1 and two and five in summer4 ,by observing this rule you avoid intruding before the luncheon is removed1 and leave in sufficient time to allow the lady of the house an hour or two of leisure for her dinner toilette4 ,be careful always to avoid luncheon hours when you pay morning visits4 ,some ladies dine with their children at half-past one1 and are consequently unprepared for the early reception of visitors4 ,when you have once ascertained this to be the case1 be careful never again to intrude at the same hour4 ,a good memory for these trifles is one of the hall-marks of good breeding4 ,visits of ceremony should be short4 ,if even the conversation should have become animated1 beware of letting your call exceed half-an-hour's length4 ,it is always better to let your friends regret than desire your withdrawal4 ,on returning visits of ceremony you may1 without impoliteness1 leave your card at the door without going in4 ,do not fail1 however1 to inquire if the family be well4 ,should there be daughters or sisters residing with the lady upon whom you call1 you may turn down a corner of your card1 to signify that the visit is paid to all4 ,it is in better taste1 however1 to leave cards for each4 ,unless when returning thanks for kind inquiries1 or announcing your arrival in1 or departure from1 town1 it is not considered respectful to send round cards by a servant4 ,leave-taking cards have ,p4,p4,c4 7pour prendre cong7 written in the corner4 ,some use ,p4,d4,a4 7pour dire adieu74 ,it is not the fashion on the ,continent for gentlemen to affix ,monsieur to their cards1 ,jules ,achard1 or ,paolo ,beni1 looks more simple and elegant than if preceded by ,monsieur1 or ,monsieur le ,comte4 ,some ,english gentlemen have adopted this good custom1 and it would be well if it became general4 ,autographic facsimiles for visiting cards are affectations in any persons but those who are personally remarkable for talent and whose autographs1 or facsimiles of them1 would be prized as curiosities4 ,a card bearing the autographic signature of ,charles ,dickens or ,george ,cruikshank1 though only a lithographic facsimile1 would have a certain interest2 whereas the signature of ,john ,smith would be not only valueless1 but would make the owner ridiculous4 ,the visiting cards of gentlemen are half the size of those used by ladies4 ,visits of condolence are paid within the week after the event which occasions them4 ,personal visits of this kind are made by relations and very intimate friends only4 ,acquaintances should leave cards with narrow mourning borders4 ,on the first occasion when you are received by the family after the death of one of its members1 it is etiquette to wear slight mourning4 ,when a gentleman makes a morning call1 he should never leave his hat or riding-whip in the hall1 but should take both into the room4 ,to do otherwise would be to make himself too much at home4 ,the hat1 however1 must never be laid on a table1 piano1 or any article of furniture2 it should be held gracefully in the hand4 ,if you are compelled to lay it aside1 put it on the floor4 ,umbrellas should invariably be left in the hall4 ,never take favourite dogs into a drawing-room when you make a morning call4 ,their feet may be dusty1 or they may bark at the sight of strangers1 or1 being of too friendly a disposition1 may take the liberty of lying on a lady's gown1 or jumping on the sofas and easy chairs4 ,where your friend has a favourite cat already established before the fire1 a battle may ensue1 and one or other of the pets be seriously hurt4 ,besides1 many persons have a constitutional antipathy to dogs1 and others never allow their own to be seen in the sitting-rooms4 ,for all or any of these reasons1 a visitor has no right to inflict upon his friend the society of his dog as well as of himself4 ,if1 when you call upon a lady1 you meet a lady visitor in her drawing-room1 you should rise when that lady takes her leave1 and escort her to her carriage1 taking care1 however1 to return again to the drawing-room1 though it be only for a few minutes1 before taking your own leave4 ,not to do this would give you the appearance of accompanying the lady visitor2 or might1 at all events1 look as if the society of your hostess were insufficient to entertain you when her friend had departed4 ,if other visitors are announced1 and you have already remained as long as courtesy requires1 wait till they are seated1 and then rise from your chair1 take leave of your hostess1 and bow politely to the newly arrived guests4 ,you will1 perhaps1 be urged to remain1 but1 having once risen1 it is always best to go4 ,there is always a certain air of gaucherie in resuming your seat and repeating the ceremony of leave-taking4 ,if you have occasion to look at your watch during a call1 ask permission to do so1 and apologise for it on the plea of other appointments4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iv4--,,conversation4 ,let your conversation be adapted as skilfully as may be to your company4 ,some men make a point of talking commonplaces to all ladies alike1 as if a woman could only be a trifler4 ,others1 on the contrary1 seem to forget in what respects the education of a lady differs from that of a gentleman1 and commit the opposite error of conversing on topics with which ladies are seldom acquainted4 ,a woman of sense has as much right to be annoyed by the one1 as a lady of ordinary education by the other4 ,you cannot pay a finer compliment to a woman of refinement and esprit than by leading the conversation into such a channel as may mark your appreciation of her superior attainments4 ,in talking with ladies of ordinary education1 avoid political1 scientific1 or commercial topics1 and choose only such subjects as are likely to be of interest to them4 ,remember that people take more interest in their own affairs than in anything else which you can name4 ,if you wish your conversation to be thoroughly agreeable1 lead a mother to talk of her children1 a young lady of her last ball1 an author of his forthcoming book1 or an artist of his exhibition picture4 ,having furnished the topic1 you need only listen2 and you are sure to be thought not only agreeable1 but thoroughly sensible and well-informed4 ,be careful1 however1 on the other hand1 not always to make a point of talking to persons upon general matters relating to their professions4 ,to show an interest in their immediate concerns is flattering2 but to converse with them too much about their own arts looks as if you thought them ignorant of other topics4 ,do not use a classical quotation in the presence of ladies without apologising for1 or translating it4 ,even this should only be done when no other phrase would so aptly express your meaning4 ,whether in the presence of ladies or gentlemen1 much display of learning is pedantic and out of place4 ,there is a certain distinct but subdued tone of voice which is peculiar to only well-bred persons4 ,a loud voice is both disagreeable and vulgar4 ,it is better to err by the use of too low than too loud a tone4 ,remember that all slang is vulgar4 ,it has become of late unfortunately prevalent1 and we have known even ladies pride themselves on the saucy chique with which they adopt certain ,americanisms1 and other cant phrases of the day4 ,such habits cannot be too severely reprehended4 ,they lower the tone of society and the standard of thought4 ,it is a great mistake to suppose that slang is in any way a substitute for wit4 ,the use of proverbs is equally vulgar in conversation2 and puns1 unless they rise to the rank of witticisms1 are to be scrupulously avoided4 ,there is no greater nuisance in society than a dull and persevering punster4 ,long arguments in general company1 however entertaining to the disputants1 are tiresome to the last degree to all others4 ,you should always endeavour to prevent the conversation from dwelling too long upon one topic4 ,religion is a topic which should never be introduced in society4 ,it is the one subject on which persons are most likely to differ1 and least able to preserve temper4 ,never interrupt a person who is speaking4 ,it has been aptly said that if you interrupt a speaker in the middle of his sentence1 you act almost as rudely as if1 when walking with a companion1 you were to thrust yourself before him1 and stop his progress4 ,to listen well1 is almost as great an art as to talk well4 ,it is not enough only to listen4 ,you must endeavour to seem interested in the conversation of others4 ,it is considered extremely ill-bred when two persons whisper in society1 or converse in a language with which all present are not familiar4 ,if you have private matters to discuss1 you should appoint a proper time and place to do so1 without paying others the ill compliment of excluding them from your conversation4 ,if a foreigner be one of the guests at a small party1 and does not understand ,english sufficiently to follow what is said1 good-breeding demands that conversation shall be carried on in his own language4 ,if at a dinner-party1 the same rule applies to those at his end of the table4 ,if upon the entrance of a visitor you carry on the thread of a previous conversation1 you should briefly recapitulate to him what has been said before he arrived4 ,do not be always witty1 even though you should be so happily gifted as to need the caution4 ,to outshine others on every occasion is the surest road to unpopularity4 ,always look1 but never stare1 at those with whom you converse4 ,in order to meet the general needs of conversation in society1 it is necessary that a man should be well acquainted with the current news and historical events of at least the last few years4 ,never talk upon subjects of which you know nothing1 unless it be for the purpose of acquiring information4 ,many young men imagine that because they frequent exhibitions and operas they are qualified judges of art4 ,no mistake is more egregious or universal4 ,those who introduce anecdotes into their conversation are warned that these should invariably be short1 witty1 eloquent1 new1 and not far-fetched4 ,scandal is the least excusable of all conversational vulgarities4 ,in conversing with a man of rank1 do not too frequently give him his title4 ,only a servant interlards every sentence with my ,lord1 or my ,lady4 ,it is1 however1 well to show that you remember his station by now and then introducing some such phrase as--,i think ,i have already mentioned to your ,lordship--or1 ,i believe your ,grace was observing444 ,in general1 however1 you should address a nobleman as you would any other gentleman4 ,the ,prince of ,wales himself is only addressed as ,sir1 in conversation1 and the ,queen as ,madam4 99 99 99 99 99 ,v4--,,notes ,,of ,,invitation1 c4 ,notes of invitation and acceptance are written in the third person and the simplest style4 ,the old-fashioned preliminary of presenting compliments is discontinued by the most elegant letter-writers4 ,all notes of invitation are now issued in the name of the mistress of the house only1 as follows2-- ,mrs4 ,norman requests the honour of ,sir ,george and ,lady ,thurlow's company at an evening party1 on ,monday1 #adth of ,june4 ,others prefer the subjoined form1 which is purchaseable ready printed upon either cards or note-paper1 with blanks for names or dates3-- ,mrs4 ,norman1 ,at home1 ,monday evening1 ,june #adth inst4 ,an ,at home is1 however1 considered somewhat less stately than an evening party1 and partakes more of the character of a conversazione4 ,the reply to a note of invitation should be couched as follows3-- ,mr4 ,berkeley has much pleasure in accepting ,mrs4 ,norman's polite invitation for ,monday evening1 ,june the #adth inst4 ,never avail yourself of an invitation4 ,above all1 never speak or write of an invitation as an invite4 ,it is neither good breeding nor good ,english4 ,notes of invitation and reply should be written on small paper of the best quality1 and enclosed in envelopes to correspond4 ,a gentleman should never use sealing-wax of any colour but red1 nor paper of any hue but white4 ,fancy papers1 fantastic borders1 dainty coloured wax1 and the like elegant follies1 are only admissible in the desk of a lady4 ,never omit the address and date from any letter1 whether of business1 friendship1 or ceremony4 ,letters in the first person1 addressed to strangers1 should begin with ,sir1 or ,madam1 and end with ,i have the honour to be your very obedient servant4 ,some object to this form of words from a mistaken sense of pride2 but it is merely a form1 and1 rightly apprehended1 evinces a proud humility1 which implies more condescension than a less formal phrase4 ,at the end of your letter1 at some little distance below your signature1 and in the left corner of your paper1 write the name of the person to whom your letter is addressed2 as ,sir ,james ,dalhousie1 or ,edward ,munroe1 ,esquire4 ,it is more polite to write ,esquire at full length than to curtail it to ,esq4 ,in writing to persons much your superior or inferior1 use as few words as possible4 ,in the former case1 to take up much of a great man's time is to take a liberty2 in the latter to be diffuse is to be too familiar4 ,it is only in familiar correspondence that long letters are permissible4 ,in writing to a tradesman1 begin your letter by addressing him by name1 as-- ,mr4 ,jones1--,sir4 ,a letter thus begun may1 with propriety1 be ended with-- ,sir1 yours truly4 ,letters to persons whom you meet frequently in society1 without having arrived at intimacy1 may commence with ,dear ,sir1 and end with ,i am1 dear ,sir1 yours very truly4 ,letters commencing ,my dear ,sir1 addressed to persons whom you appreciate1 and with whom you are on friendly terms1 may end with ,i am1 my dear ,sir1 yours very faithfully1 or yours very sincerely4 ,to be prompt in replying to a letter is to be polite4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vi4--,,the ,,promenade4 ,a well-bred man must entertain no respect for the brim of his hat4 ,a bow1 says ,la ,fontaine1 is a note drawn at sight4 ,you are bound to acknowledge it immediately1 and to the full amount4 ,the two most elegant men of their day1 ,charles the ,second and ,george the ,fourth1 never failed to take off their hats to the meanest of their subjects4 ,always bear this example in mind2 and remember that to nod1 or merely to touch the brim of the hat1 is far from courteous4 ,true politeness demands that the hat should be quite lifted from the head4 ,on meeting friends with whom you are likely to shake hands1 remove your hat with the left hand in order to leave the right hand free4 ,if you meet a lady in the street whom you are sufficiently intimate to address1 do not stop her1 but turn round and walk beside her in whichever direction she is going4 ,when you have said all that you wish to say1 you can take your leave4 ,if you meet a lady with whom you are not particularly well acquainted1 wait for her recognition before you venture to bow to her4 ,in bowing to a lady whom you are not going to address1 lift your hat with that hand which is farthest from her4 ,for instance1 if you pass her on the right side1 use your left hand2 if on the left1 use your right4 ,if you are on horseback and wish to converse with a lady who is on foot1 you must dismount and lead your horse1 so as not to give her the fatigue of looking up to your level4 ,neither should you subject her to the impropriety of carrying on a conversation in a tone necessarily louder than is sanctioned in public by the laws of good breeding4 ,when you meet friends or acquaintances in the streets1 the exhibitions1 or any public places1 take care not to pronounce their names so loudly as to attract the attention of the passers-by4 ,never call across the street3 and never carry on a dialogue in a public vehicle1 unless your interlocutor occupies the seat beside your own4 ,in walking with a lady1 take charge of any small parcel1 parasol1 or book with which she may be encumbered4 ,if you so far forget what is elegant as to smoke in the street1 at least never omit to fling away your cigar if you speak to a lady4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vii4--,,dress4 ,a great ,french writer has said1 with as much grace as philosophy1 that the artist and man of letters needs only a black coat and the absence of all pretension to place him on the level of the best society4 ,it must be observed1 however1 that this remark applies only to the intellectual workers1 who1 if they do occasionally commit a minor solecism in dress or manners1 are forgiven on account of their fame and talents4 ,other individuals are compelled to study what we have elsewhere called the by-laws of society2 and it would be well if artists and men of letters would more frequently do the same4 ,it is not enough that a man should be clever1 or well educated1 or well born2 to take his place in society he must be acquainted with all that this little book proposes to teach4 ,he must1 above all else1 know how to enter the room1 how to bow1 and how to dress4 ,of these three indispensable qualifications1 the most important1 because the most observed1 is the latter4 ,a gentleman should always be so well dressed that his dress shall never be observed at all4 ,does this sound like an enigma8 ,it is not meant for one4 ,it only implies that perfect simplicity is perfect elegance1 and that the true test of taste in the toilette of a gentleman is its entire harmony1 unobtrusiveness and becomingness4 ,if any friend should say to you1 ,what a handsome waistcoat you have on6 you may depend that a less handsome waistcoat would be in better taste4 ,if you hear it said that ,mr4 ,so-and-,so wears superb jewellery1 you may conclude beforehand that he wears too much4 ,display1 in short1 is ever to be avoided1 especially in matters of dress4 ,the toilette is the domain of the fair sex4 ,let a wise man leave its graces and luxuries to his wife1 daughters or sisters1 and seek to be himself appreciated for something of higher worth than the embroidery upon his shirt front1 or the trinkets on his chain4 ,to be too much in the fashion is as vulgar as to be too far behind it4 ,no really well-bred man follows every new cut that he sees in his tailor's fashion-book4 ,only very young men1 and those not of the most aristocratic circles1 are guilty of this folly4 ,the author of ,pelham has aptly said that a gentleman's coat should not fit too well4 ,there is great truth and subtlety in this observation4 ,to be fitted too well is to look like a tailor's assistant4 ,this is the great fault which we have to find in the style of even the best bred ,frenchmen4 ,they look as if they had just stepped out of a fashion-book1 and lack the careless ease which makes an ,english gentleman look as if his clothes belonged to him1 and not he to his clothes4 ,in the morning wear frock coats1 double-breasted waistcoats1 and trousers of light or dark colours1 according to the season4 ,in the evening1 though only in the bosom of your own family1 wear only black1 and be as scrupulous to put on a dress coat as if you expected visitors4 ,if you have sons1 bring them up to do the same4 ,it is the observance of these minor trifles in domestic etiquette which marks the true gentleman4 ,for evening parties1 dinner parties1 and balls1 wear a black dress coat1 black trousers1 black silk or cloth waistcoat1 white cravat1 white or grey kid gloves1 and thin patent leather boots4 ,a black cravat may be worn in full dress1 but is not so elegant as a white one4 ,a black velvet waistcoat should only be worn at a dinner party4 ,let your jewellery be of the best1 but the least gaudy description1 and wear it very sparingly4 ,a set of good studs1 a gold watch and guard1 and one handsome ring1 are as many ornaments as a gentleman can wear with propriety4 ,in the morning let your ring be a seal ring1 with your crest or arms engraved upon it4 ,in the evening it may be a diamond4 ,your studs1 however valuable1 should be small4 ,it is well to remember in the choice of jewellery that mere costliness is not always the test of value2 and that an exquisite work of art1 such as a fine cameo1 or a natural rarity1 such as a black pearl1 is a more distingu possession than a large brilliant which any rich and tasteless vulgarian can buy as easily as yourself4 ,for a ring1 the gentleman of fine taste would prefer a precious antique intaglio to the handsomest diamond or ruby that could be brought at ,hunt and ,roskell's4 ,the most elegant gentleman with whom the author was ever acquainted--a man familiar with all the ,courts of ,europe--never wore any other shirt-studs in full dress than three valuable black pearls1 each about the size of a pea1 and by no means beautiful to look at4 ,of all precious stones1 the opal is one of the most lovely and the least common-place4 ,no vulgar man purchases an opal4 ,he invariably prefers the more showy diamond1 ruby1 sapphire1 or emerald4 ,unless you are a snuff-taker1 never carry any but a white pocket-handkerchief4 ,if in the morning you wear a long cravat fastened by a pin1 be careful to avoid what may be called alliteration of colour4 ,we have seen a torquoise pin worn in a violet-coloured cravat1 and the effect was frightful4 ,choose1 if possible1 complementary colours1 and their secondaries4 ,for instance1 if the stone in your pin be a torquoise1 wear it with brown1 or crimson mixed with black1 or black and orange4 ,if a ruby1 contrast it with shades of green4 ,the same rule holds good with regard to the mixture and contrast of colours in your waistcoat or cravat4 ,thus1 a buff waistcoat and a blue tie1 or brown and blue1 or brown and green1 or brown and magenta1 green and magenta1 green and mauve1 are all good arrangements of colour4 ,very light coloured cloths for morning wear are to be avoided1 even in the height of summer2 and fancy cloths of strange patterns and mixtures are exceedingly objectionable4 ,coloured shirts may be worn in the morning2 but they should be small in pattern1 and quiet in colour4 ,with a coloured shirt1 always wear a white collar4 ,never wear a cap1 unless in the fields or garden2 and let your hat be always black4 ,for a gentleman's wedding dress see the ,,etiquette ,,of ,,courtship ,,and ,,marriage4 ,if your sight compels you to wear spectacles1 let them be of the best and lightest make1 and mounted in gold or blue steel4 ,if you suffer from weak sight1 and are obliged to wear coloured glasses1 let them be of blue or smoke colour4 ,green are detestable4 ,never be seen in the street without gloves2 and never let your gloves be of any material that is not kid or calf4 ,worsted or cotton gloves are unutterably vulgar4 ,your gloves should fit to the last degree of perfection4 ,in these days of public baths and universal progress1 we trust that it is unnecessary to do more than hint at the necessity of the most fastidious personal cleanliness4 ,the hair1 the teeth1 the nails1 should be faultlessly kept2 and a soiled shirt1 a dingy pocket-handkerchief1 or a light waistcoat that has been worn once too often1 are things to be scrupulously avoided by any man who is ambitious of preserving the exterior of a gentleman4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,viii4--,,riding ,,and ,,driving4 ,in riding1 as in walking1 give the lady the wall4 ,if you assist a lady to mount1 hold your hand at a convenient distance from the ground1 that she may place her foot in it4 ,as she springs1 you aid her by the impetus of your hand4 ,in doing this1 it is always better to agree upon a signal1 that her spring and your assistance may come at the same moment4 ,for this purpose there is no better form than the old duelling one of one1 two1 three4 ,when the lady is in the saddle1 it is your place to find the stirrup for her1 and guide her left foot to it4 ,when this is done1 she rises in her seat and you assist her to draw her habit straight4 ,even when a groom is present1 it is more polite for the gentleman himself to perform this office for his fair companion2 as it would be more polite for him to hand her a chair than to have it handed by a servant4 ,if the lady be light1 you must take care not to give her too much impetus in mounting4 ,we have known a lady nearly thrown over her horse by a misplaced zeal of this kind4 ,in riding with a lady1 never permit her to pay the tolls4 ,if a gate has to be opened1 we need hardly observe that it is your place to hold it open till the lady has passed through4 ,in driving1 a gentleman places himself with his back to the horses1 and leaves the best seat for the ladies4 ,if you are alone in a carriage with a lady1 never sit beside her1 unless you are her husband1 father1 son1 or brother4 ,even though you be her affianced lover1 you should still observe this rule of etiquette4 ,to do otherwise1 would be to assume the unceremonious air of a husband4 ,when the carriage stops1 the gentleman should alight first1 in order to assist the lady4 ,to get in and out of a carriage gracefully is a simple but important accomplishment4 ,if there is but one step1 and you are going to take your seat facing the horses1 put your left foot on the step and enter the carriage with your right in such a manner as to drop at once into your seat4 ,if you are about to sit with your back to the horses1 reverse the process4 ,as you step into the carriage1 be careful to keep your back towards the seat you are about to occupy1 so as to avoid the awkwardness of turning when you are once in4 ,a gentleman cannot be too careful to avoid stepping on ladies' dresses when he gets in or out of a carriage4 ,he should also beware of shutting them in with the door4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ix4--,,morning ,,and ,,evening ,,parties4 ,the morning party is a modern invention2 it was unknown to our fathers and mothers1 and even to ourselves1 till quite lately4 ,a morning party is seldom given out of the season--that is to say1 during any months except those of ,may1 ,june1 and ,july4 ,it begins about two o'clock and ends about five1 and the entertainment consists for the most part of conversation1 music1 and 7if there be a garden7 croquet1 lawn billiards1 archery1 c4 ,aunt ,sally is now out of fashion4 ,the refreshments are given in the form of a djener la fourchette4 ,elegant morning dress1 general good manners1 and some acquaintance with the topics of the day and the games above named1 are all the qualifications especially necessary to a gentleman at a morning party4 ,an evening party begins about nine o'clock1 p4m41 and ends about midnight1 or somewhat later4 ,good breeding neither demands that you should present yourself at the commencement1 nor remain till the close of the evening4 ,you come and go as may be most convenient to you1 and by these means are at liberty1 during the height of the season when evening parties are numerous1 to present yourself at two or three houses during a single evening4 ,always put your gloves on before entering the drawing-room1 and be careful that there is no speck of mud upon your boots or trousers4 ,when your name is announced1 look for the lady of the house and pay your respects to her before you even seem to see any other of your friends who may be in the room4 ,at very large and fashionable receptions1 the hostess is generally to be found near the door4 ,should you1 however1 find yourself separated by a dense crowd of guests1 you are at liberty to recognize those who are near you1 and those whom you encounter as you make your way slowly through the throng4 ,general salutations of the company are now wholly disused4 ,in society1 a man only recognizes his own friends and acquaintances4 ,if you are at the house of a new acquaintance and find yourself among entire strangers1 remember that by so meeting under one roof you are all in a certain sense made known to one another1 and should therefore converse freely1 as equals4 ,to shrink away to a side-table and affect to be absorbed in some album or illustrated work2 or1 if you find one unlucky acquaintance in the room1 to fasten upon him like a drowning man clinging to a spar1 are gaucheries which no shyness can excuse4 ,an easy and unembarrassed manner1 and the self-possession requisite to open a conversation with those who happen to be near you1 are the indispensable credentials of a well-bred man4 ,at an evening party1 do not remain too long in one spot4 ,to be afraid to move from one drawing-room to another is the sure sign of a neophyte in society4 ,if you have occasion to use your handkerchief1 do so as noiselessly as possible4 ,to blow your nose as if it were a trombone1 or to turn your head aside when using your handkerchief1 are vulgarities scrupulously to be avoided4 ,never stand upon the hearth-rug with your back to the fire1 either in a friend's house or your own4 ,we have seen even well-bred men at evening parties commit this selfish and vulgar solecism4 ,never offer any one the chair from which you have just risen1 unless there be no other disengaged4 ,if when supper is announced no lady has been especially placed under your care by the hostess1 offer your arm to whichever lady you may have last conversed with4 ,if you possess any musical accomplishments1 do not wait to be pressed and entreated by your hostess1 but comply immediately when she pays you the compliment of inviting you to play or sing4 ,remember1 however1 that only the lady of the house has the right to ask you4 ,if others do so1 you can put them off in some polite way2 but must not comply till the hostess herself invites you4 ,if you sing comic songs1 be careful that they are of the most unexceptionable kind1 and likely to offend neither the tastes nor prejudices of the society in which you find yourself4 ,at an evening party given expressly in honour of a distinguished lady of colour1 we once heard a thoughtless amateur dash into the broadly comic1 but terribly appropriate nigger song of ,sally come up4 ,before he had got through the first verse1 he had perceived his mistake1 and was so overwhelmed with shame that he could scarcely preserve sufficient presence of mind to carry him through to the end4 ,if the party be of a small and social kind1 and those games called by the ,french les jeux innocents are proposed1 do not object to join in them when invited4 ,it may be that they demand some slight exercise of wit and readiness1 and that you do not feel yourself calculated to shine in them2 but it is better to seem dull than disagreeable1 and those who are obliging can always find some clever neighbour to assist them in the moment of need4 ,the game of consequences is one which unfortunately gives too much scope to liberty of expression4 ,if you join in this game1 we cannot too earnestly enjoin you never to write down one word which the most pure-minded woman present might not read aloud without a blush4 ,jests of an equivocal character are not only vulgar1 but contemptible4 ,impromptu charades are frequently organized at friendly parties4 ,unless you have really some talent for acting and some readiness of speech1 you should remember that you only put others out and expose your own inability by taking part in these entertainments4 ,of course1 if your help is really needed and you would disoblige by refusing1 you must do your best1 and by doing it as quietly and coolly as possible1 avoid being awkward or ridiculous4 ,should an impromptu polka or quadrille be got up after supper at a party where no dancing was intended1 be sure not to omit putting on gloves before you stand up4 ,it is well always to have a pair of white gloves in your pocket in case of need2 but even black are better under these circumstances than none4 ,even though you may take no pleasure in cards1 some knowledge of the etiquette and rules belonging to the games most in vogue is necessary to you in society4 ,if a fourth hand is wanted at a rubber1 or if the rest of the company sit down to a round game1 you would be deemed guilty of an impoliteness if you refused to join4 ,the games most commonly played in society are whist1 loo1 vingt-et-un1 and speculation4 ,whist requires four players4,a ,a pack of cards being spread upon the table with their faces downwards1 the four players draw for partners4 ,those who draw the two highest cards and those who draw the two lowest become partners4 ,the lowest of all claims the deal4 ,married people should not play at the same table1 unless where the party is so small that it cannot be avoided4 ,this rule supposes nothing so disgraceful to any married couple as dishonest collusion2 but persons who play regularly together cannot fail to know so much of each other's mode of acting1 under given circumstances1 that the chances no longer remain perfectly even in favour of their adversaries4 ,never play for higher stakes than you can afford to lose without regret4 ,cards should be resorted to for amusement only2 for excitement1 never4 ,no well-bred person ever loses temper at the card-table4 ,you have no right to sit down to the game unless you can bear a long run of ill luck with perfect composure1 and are prepared cheerfully to pass over any blunders that your partner may chance to make4 ,if you are an indifferent player1 make a point of saying so before you join a party at whist4 ,if the others are fine players they will be infinitely more obliged to you for declining than accepting their invitation4 ,in any case you have no right to spoil their pleasure by your bad play4 ,never let even politeness induce you to play for very high stakes4 ,etiquette is the minor morality of life2 but it never should be allowed to outweigh the higher code of right and wrong4 ,be scrupulous to observe silence when any of the company are playing or singing4 ,remember that they are doing this for the amusement of the rest2 and that to talk at such a time is as ill-bred as if you were to turn your back upon a person who was talking to you1 and begin a conversation with some one else4 ,if you are yourself the performer1 bear in mind that in music1 as in speech1 brevity is the soul of wit4 ,two verses of a song1 or four pages of a piece1 are at all times enough to give pleasure4 ,if your audience desire more they will ask for more2 and it is infinitely more flattering to be encored than to receive the thanks of your hearers1 not so much in gratitude for what you have given them1 but in relief that you have left off4 ,you should try to suit your music1 like your conversation1 to your company4 ,a solo of ,beethoven's would be as much out of place in some circles as a comic song at a ,quakers' meeting4 ,to those who only care for the light popularities1 of the season1 give ,balfe and ,verdi1 ,glover and ,jullien4 ,to connoisseurs1 if you perform well enough to venture1 give such music as will be likely to meet the exigences of a fine taste4 ,above all1 attempt nothing that you cannot execute with ease and precision4 ,in retiring from a crowded party it is unnecessary that you should seek out the hostess for the purpose of bidding her a formal good night4 ,by doing this you would1 perhaps1 remind others that it was getting late1 and cause the party to break up4 ,if you meet the lady of the house on your way to the drawing-room door1 take your leave of her as unobtrusively as possible1 and slip away without attracting the attention of her other guests4 ,footnote ,a3 ,for a succinct guide to whist1 loo1 vingt-et-un1 speculation1 c41 c41 c41 see ,routledge's ,card-player1 by ,g4,f4 ,pardon1 price sixpence4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x4--,,the ,,dinner ,,table4 ,to be acquainted with every detail of the etiquette pertaining to this subject is of the highest importance to every gentleman4 ,ease1 savoir faire1 and good breeding are nowhere more indispensable than at the dinner-table1 and the absence of them are nowhere more apparent4 ,how to eat soup and what to do with a cherry-stone are weighty considerations when taken as the index of social status2 and it is not too much to say1 that a man who elected to take claret with his fish1 or ate peas with his knife1 would justly risk the punishment of being banished from good society4 ,as this subject is one of the most important of which we have to treat1 we may be pardoned for introducing an appropriate anecdote related by the ,french poet ,delille3-- ,delille and ,marmontel were dining together in the month of ,april1 #aghf1 and the conversation happened to turn upon dinner-table customs4 ,marmontel observed how many little things a well-bred man was obliged to know1 if he would avoid being ridiculous at the tables of his friends4 ,they are1 indeed1 innumerable1 said ,delille2 and the most annoying fact of all is1 that not all the wit and good sense in the world can help one to divine them untaught4 ,a little while ago1 for instance1 the ,abb ,cosson1 who is ,professor of ,literature at the ,collge ,mazarin1 was describing to me a grand dinner to which he had been invited at ,versailles1 and to which he had sat down in the company of peers1 princes1 and marshals of ,france4 ',i'll wager1 now1' said ,i1 'that you committed a hundred blunders in the etiquette of the table6' ',how so8' replied the ,abb1 somewhat nettled4 ',what blunders could ,i make8 ,it seems to me that ,i did precisely as others did4' ',and ,i1 on the contrary1 would stake my life that you did nothing as others did4 ,but let us begin at the beginning1 and see which is right4 ,in the first place there was your table-napkin--what did you do with that when you sat down at table8' ',what did ,i do with my table-napkin8 ,why1 ,i did like the rest of the guests3 ,i shook it out of the folds1 spread it before me1 and fastened one corner to my button-hole4' ',very well1 mon cher2 you were the only person who did so4 ,no one shakes1 spreads1 and fastens a table-napkin in that manner4 ,you should have only laid it across your knees4 ,what soup had you8' ',turtle4' ',and how did you eat it8' ',like every one else1 ,i suppose4 ,i took my spoon in one hand1 and my fork in the other--' ',your fork6 ,good heavens6 ,none but a savage eats soup with a fork4 ,but go on4 ,what did you take next8' ',a boiled egg4' ',good and what did you do with the shell8' ',not eat it certainly4 ,i left it1 of course1 in the egg-cup4' ',without breaking it through with your spoon8' ',without breaking it4' ',then1 my dear fellow1 permit me to tell you that no one eats an egg without breaking the shell and leaving the spoon standing in it4 ,and after your egg8' ',i asked for some bouilli4' ',for boulli6 ,it is a term that no one uses4 ,you should have asked for beef--never for boulli4 ,well1 and after the bouilli8' ',i asked the ,abb de ,radonvillais for some fowl4' ',wretched man6 ,fowl1 indeed6 ,you should have asked for chicken or capon4 ,the word fowl is never heard out of the kitchen4 ,but all this applies only to what you ate2 tell me something of what you drank1 and how you asked for it4' ',i asked for champagne and bordeaux from those who had the bottles before them4' ',know then1 my good friend1 that only a waiter1 who has no time or breath to spare1 asks for champagne or bordeaux4 ,a gentleman asks for vin de ,champagne and vin de ,bordeaux4 ,and now inform me how you ate your bread8' ',undoubtedly like all the rest of the world4 ,i cut it up into small square pieces with my knife4' ',then let me tell you that no one cuts bread4 ,you should always break it4 ,let us go on to the coffee4 ,how did you drink yours8' ',pshaw6 ,at least ,i could make no mistake in that4 ,it was boiling hot1 so ,i poured it1 a little at a time1 in the saucer1 and drank it as it cooled4' ',eh bien6 then you assuredly acted as no other gentleman in the room4 ,nothing can be more vulgar than to pour tea or coffee into a saucer4 ,you should have waited till it cooled1 and then have drank it from the cup4 ,and now you see1 my dear cousin1 that1 so far from doing precisely as others did1 you acted in no one respect according to the laws prescribed by etiquette4' ,an invitation to dine should be replied to immediately1 and unequivocally accepted or declined4 ,once accepted1 nothing but an event of the last importance should cause you to fail in your engagement4 ,to be exactly punctual is the strictest politeness on these occasions4 ,if you are too early1 you are in the way2 if too late1 you spoil the dinner1 annoy the hostess1 and are hated by the rest of the guests4 ,some authorities are even of opinion that in the question of a dinner-party never is better than late2 and one author has gone so far as to say1 if you do not reach the house till dinner is served1 you had better retire to a restaurateur's1 and thence send an apology1 and not interrupt the harmony of the courses by awkward excuses and cold acceptance4 ,when the party is assembled1 the mistress or master of the house will point out to each gentleman the lady whom he is to conduct to table4 ,if she be a stranger1 you had better seek an introduction2 if a previous acquaintance1 take care to be near her when the dinner is announced1 offer your arm1 and go down according to precedence of rank4 ,this order of precedence must be arranged by the host or hostess1 as the guests are probably unacquainted1 and cannot know each other's social rank4 ,when the society is of a distinguished kind1 the host will do well to consult ,debrett or ,burke1 before arranging his visitors4 ,when rank is not in question1 other claims to precedence must be considered4 ,the lady who is the greatest stranger should be taken down by the master of the house1 and the gentleman who is the greatest stranger should conduct the hostess4 ,married ladies take precedence of single ladies1 elder ladies of younger ones1 and so forth4 ,when dinner is announced1 the host offers his arm to the lady of most distinction1 invites the rest to follow by a few words or a bow1 and leads the way4 ,the lady of the house should then follow with the gentleman who is most entitled to that honour1 and the visitors follow in the order that the master of the house has previously arranged4 ,the lady of the house frequently remains1 however1 till the last1 that she may see her guests go down in their prescribed order2 but the plan is not a convenient one4 ,it is much better that the hostess should be in her place as the guests enter the dining-room1 in order that she may indicate their seats to them as they come in1 and not find them all crowded together in uncertainty when she arrives4 ,the number of guests at a dinner-party should always be determined by the size of the table4 ,when the party is too small1 conversation flags1 and a general air of desolation pervades the table4 ,when they are too many1 every one is inconvenienced4 ,a space of two feet should be allowed to each person4 ,it is well to arrange a party in such wise that the number of ladies and gentlemen be equal4 ,it requires some tact to distribute your guests so that each shall find himself with a neighbour to his taste2 but as much of the success of a dinner will always depend on this matter1 it is worth some consideration4 ,if you have a wit1 or a particularly good talker1 among your visitors1 it is well to place him near the centre of the table1 where he can be heard and talked to by all4 ,it is obviously a bad plan to place two such persons in close proximity4 ,they extinguish each other4 ,neither is it advisable to assign two neighbouring seats to two gentlemen of the same profession1 as they are likely to fall into exclusive conversation and amuse no one but themselves4 ,a little consideration of the politics1 religious opinions1 and tastes of his friends1 will enable a judicious host to avoid many quicksands1 and establish much pleasant intercourse on the occasion of a dinner party4 ,the lady of the house takes the head of the table4 ,the gentleman who led her down to dinner occupies the seat on her right hand1 and the gentleman next in order of precedence1 that on her left4 ,the master of the house takes the foot of the table4 ,the lady whom he escorted sits on his right hand1 and the lady next in order of precedence on his left4 ,the gentlemen who support the lady of the house should offer to relieve her of the duties of hostess4 ,many ladies are well pleased thus to delegate the difficulties of carving1 and all gentlemen who accept invitations to dinner should be prepared to render such assistance when called upon4 ,to offer to carve a dish1 and then perform the office unskilfully1 is an unpardonable gaucherie4 ,every gentleman should carve1 and carve well4 ,as soon as you are seated at table1 remove your gloves1 place your table napkin across your knees1 and remove the roll which you find probably within it to the left side of your plate4 ,the soup should be placed on the table first4 ,some old-fashioned persons still place soup and fish together2 but it is a custom more honoured in the breach than the observance4 ,still more old-fashioned1 and in still worse taste is it to ask your guests if they will take soup or fish4 ,they are as much separate courses as the fish and the meat2 and all experienced diners take both4 ,in any case1 it is inhospitable to appear to force a choice upon a visitor1 when that visitor1 in all probability1 will prefer to take his soup first and his fish afterwards4 ,all well-ordered dinners begin with soup1 whether in summer or winter4 ,the lady of the house should help it and send it round1 without asking each individual in turn4 ,it is as much an understood thing as the bread beside each plate1 and those who do not choose it1 are always at liberty to leave it untasted4 ,in eating soup1 remember always to take it from the side of the spoon1 and to make no sound in doing so4 ,if the servants do not go round with wine the gentlemen should help the ladies and themselves to sherry or sauterne immediately after the soup4 ,you should never ask for a second supply of either soup or fish2 it delays the next course1 and keeps the table waiting4 ,never offer to assist your neighbours to this or that dish4 ,the word is inexpressibly vulgar--all the more vulgar for its affectation of elegance4 ,shall ,i send you some mutton8 or may ,i help you to grouse8 is better chosen and better bred4 ,as a general rule1 it is better not to ask your guests if they will partake of the dishes2 but to send the plates round1 and let them accept or decline them as they please4 ,at very large dinners it is sometimes customary to distribute little lists of the order of the dishes at intervals along the table4 ,it must be confessed that this gives somewhat the air of a dinner at an hotel2 but it has the advantage of enabling the visitors to select their fare1 and1 as forewarned is forearmed1 to keep a corner1 as the children say1 for their favourite dishes4 ,if you are asked to take wine1 it is polite to select the same as that which your interlocutor is drinking4 ,if you invite a lady to take wine1 you should ask her which she will prefer1 and then take the same yourself4 ,should you1 however1 for any reason prefer some other vintage1 you can take it by courteously requesting her permission4 ,as soon as you are helped1 begin to eat2 or1 if the viands are too hot for your palate1 take up your knife and fork and appear to begin4 ,to wait for others is now not only old-fashioned1 but ill-bred4 ,never offer to pass on the plate to which you have been helped4 ,this is a still more vulgar piece of politeness1 and belongs to the manners of a hundred years ago4 ,the lady of the house who sends your plate to you is the best judge of precedence at her own table4 ,in helping soup1 fish1 or any other dish1 remember that to overfill a plate is as bad as to supply it too scantily4 ,silver fish-knives will now always be met with at the best tables2 but where there are none1 a piece of crust should be taken in the left hand1 and the fork in the right4 ,there is no exception to this rule in eating fish4 ,we presume it is scarcely necessary to remind the reader that he is never1 under any circumstances1 to convey his knife to his mouth4 ,peas are eaten with the fork2 tarts1 curry1 and puddings of all kinds with the spoon4 ,always help fish with a fish-slice1 and tart and puddings with a spoon1 or1 if necessary1 a spoon and fork4 ,asparagus must be helped with the asparagus-tongs4 ,in eating asparagus1 it is well to observe what others do1 and act accordingly4 ,some very well-bred people eat it with the fingers2 others cut off the heads1 and convey them to the mouth upon the fork4 ,it would be difficult to say which is the more correct4 ,in eating stone fruit1 such as cherries1 damsons1 c41 the same rule had better be observed4 ,some put the stones out from the mouth into a spoon1 and so convey them to the plate4 ,others cover the lips with the hand1 drop them unseen into the palm1 and so deposit them on the side of the plate4 ,in our own opinion1 the last is the better way1 as it effectually conceals the return of the stones1 which is certainly the point of highest importance4 ,of one thing we may be sure1 and that is1 that they must never be dropped from the mouth to the plate4 ,in helping sauce1 always pour it on the side of the plate4 ,if the servants do not go round with the wine 7which is by far the best custom71 the gentlemen at a dinner-table should take upon themselves the office of helping those ladies who sit near them4 ,ladies take more wine in the present day than they did fifty years ago1 and gentlemen should remember this1 and offer it frequently4 ,ladies cannot very well ask for wine1 but they can always decline it4 ,at all events1 they do not like to be neglected1 or to see gentlemen liberally helping themselves1 without observing whether their fair neighbours' glasses are full or empty4 ,young ladies seldom drink more than three glasses of wine at dinner2 but married ladies1 professional ladies1 and those accustomed to society1 and habits of affluence1 will habitually take five or even six1 whether in their own homes or at the tables of their friends4 ,the habit of taking wine with each other has almost wholly gone out of fashion4 ,a gentleman may ask the lady whom he conducted down to dinner2 or he may ask the lady of the house to take wine with him4 ,but even these last remnants of the old custom are fast falling into disuse4 ,unless you are a total abstainer1 it is extremely uncivil to decline taking wine if you are invited to do so4 ,in accepting1 you have only to pour a little fresh wine into your glass1 look at the person who invited you1 bow slightly1 and take a sip from the glass4 ,it is particularly ill-bred to empty your glass on these occasions4 ,certain wines are taken with certain dishes1 by old-established custom--as sherry1 or sauterne1 with soup and fish2 hock and claret with roast meat2 punch with turtle2 champagne with whitebait2 port with venison2 port1 or burgundy1 with game2 sparkling wines between the roast and the confectionery2 madeira with sweets2 port with cheese2 and for dessert1 port1 tokay1 madeira1 sherry1 and claret4 ,red wines should never be iced1 even in summer4 ,claret and burgundy should always be slightly warmed2 claret-cup and champagne-cup should1 of course1 be iced4 ,instead of cooling their wines in the ice-pail1 some hosts have of late years introduced clear ice upon the table1 broken up in small lumps1 to be put inside the glasses4 ,this is an innovation that cannot be too strictly reprehended or too soon abolished4 ,melting ice can but weaken the quality and flavour of the wine4 ,those who desire to drink wine and water can asked for iced water if they choose1 but it savours too much of economy on the part of a host to insinuate the ice inside the glasses of his guests1 when the wine could be more effectually iced outside the bottle4 ,a silver knife and fork should be placed to each guest at dessert4 ,if you are asked to prepare fruit for a lady1 be careful to do so1 by means of the silver knife and fork only1 and never to touch it with your fingers4 ,it is wise never to partake of any dish without knowing of what ingredients it is composed4 ,you can always ask the servant who hands it to you1 and you thereby avoid all danger of having to commit the impoliteness of leaving it1 and showing that you do not approve of it4 ,never speak while you have anything in your mouth4 ,be careful never to taste soups or puddings till you are sure they are sufficiently cool2 as1 by disregarding this caution1 you may be compelled to swallow what is dangerously hot1 or be driven to the unpardonable alternative of returning it to your plate4 ,when eating or drinking1 avoid every kind of audible testimony to the fact4 ,finger-glasses1 containing water slightly warmed and perfumed1 are placed to each person at dessert4 ,in these you may dip the tips of your fingers1 wiping them afterwards on your table-napkin4 ,if the finger-glass and d',oyley are placed on your dessert-plate1 you should immediately remove the d',oyley to the left of your plate1 and place the finger-glass upon it4 ,by these means you leave the right for the wine-glasses4 ,be careful to know the shapes of the various kinds of wine-glasses commonly in use1 in order that you may never put forward one for another4 ,high and narrow1 and very broad and shallow glasses1 are used for champagne2 large1 goblet-shaped glasses for burgundy and claret2 ordinary wine-glasses for sherry and madeira2 green glasses for hock2 and somewhat large1 bell-shaped glasses1 for port4 ,port1 sherry1 and madeira1 are decanted4 ,hocks and champagnes appear in their native bottles4 ,claret and burgundy are handed round in a claret-jug4 ,coffee and liqueurs should be handed round when the dessert has been about a quarter of an hour on the table4 ,after this1 the ladies generally retire4 ,should no servant be present to do so1 the gentleman who is nearest the door should hold it for the ladies to pass through4 ,when the ladies leave the dining-room1 the gentlemen all rise in their places1 and do not resume their seats till the last lady is gone4 ,the servants leave the room when the dessert is on the table4 ,if you should unfortunately overturn or break anything1 do not apologize for it4 ,you can show your regret in your face1 but it is not well-bred to put it into words4 ,should you injure a lady's dress1 apologise amply1 and assist her1 if possible1 to remove all traces of the damage4 ,to abstain from taking the last piece on the dish1 or the last glass of wine in the decanter1 only because it is the last1 is highly ill-bred4 ,it implies a fear that the vacancy cannot be supplied1 and almost conveys an affront to your host4 ,in summing up the little duties and laws of the table1 a popular author has said that--,the chief matter of consideration at the dinner-table--as1 indeed1 everywhere else in the life of a gentleman--is to be perfectly composed and at his ease4 ,he speaks deliberately2 he performs the most important act of the day as if he were performing the most ordinary4 ,yet there is no appearance of trifling or want of gravity in his manner2 he maintains the dignity which is so becoming on so vital an occasion4 ,he performs all the ceremonies1 yet in the style of one who performs no ceremonies at all4 ,he goes through all the complicated duties of the scene as if he were 'to the manner born4' ,to the giver of a dinner we have but one or two remarks to offer4 ,if he be a bachelor1 he had better give his dinner at a good hotel1 or have it sent in from ,birch's or ,khn's4 ,if a married man1 he will1 we presume1 enter into council with his wife and his cook4 ,in any case1 however1 he should always bear in mind that it is his duty to entertain his friends in the best manner that his means permit2 and that this is the least he can do to recompense them for the expenditure of time and money which they incur in accepting his invitation4 ,to invite a friend to dinner1 says ,brillat ,savarin1 is to become responsible for his happiness so long as he is under your roof4 ,again3--,he who receives friends at his table1 without having bestowed his personal supervision upon the repast placed before them1 is unworthy to have friends4 ,a dinner1 to be excellent1 need not consist of a great variety of dishes2 but everything should be of the best1 and the cookery should be perfect4 ,that which should be cool should be cool as ice2 that which should be hot should be smoking2 the attendance should be rapid and noiseless2 the guests well assorted2 the wines of the best quality2 the host attentive and courteous2 the room well lighted2 and the time punctual4 ,every dinner should begin with soup1 be followed by fish1 and include some kind of game4 ,the soup is to the dinner1 we are told by ,grisnod de la ,regnire1 what the portico is to a building1 or the overture to an opera4 ,to this aphorism we may be permitted to add that a chasse of cognac or curaoa at the close of the dinner is like the epilogue at the end of a comedy4 ,one more quotation and we have done3--,to perform faultlessly the honours of the table is one of the most difficult things in society4 ,it might indeed he asserted without much fear of contradiction1 that no man has as yet ever reached exact propriety in his office as host1 or has hit the mean between exerting himself too much and too little4 ,his great business is to put every one entirely at his ease1 to gratify all his desires1 and make him1 in a word1 absolutely contented with men and things4 ,to accomplish this1 he must have the genius of tact to perceive1 and the genius of finesse to execute2 ease and frankness of manner2 a knowledge of the world that nothing can surprise2 a calmness of temper that nothing can disturb2 and a kindness of disposition that can never be exhausted4 ,when he receives others he must be content to forget himself2 he must relinquish all desire to shine1 and even all attempts to please his guests by conversation1 and rather do all in his power to let them please one another4 ,he behaves to them without agitation1 without affectation2 he pays attention without an air of protection2 he encourages the timid1 draws out the silent1 and directs conversation without sustaining it himself4 ,he who does not do all this is wanting in his duty as host--he who does1 is more than mortal4 ,in conclusion1 we may observe that to sit long in the dining-room after the ladies have retired is to pay a bad compliment to the hostess and her fair visitors2 and that it is a still worse tribute to rejoin them with a flushed face and impaired powers of thought4 ,a refined gentleman is always temperate4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xi4--,,the ,,ball-,,room4 ,invitations to a ball are issued at least ten days in advance2 and this term is sometimes1 in the height of the season1 extended to three weeks1 or even a month4 ,an invitation should be accepted or declined within a day or two of its reception4 ,gentlemen who do not dance should not accept invitations of this kind4 ,they are but incumbrances in the ball-room1 besides which1 it looks like a breach of etiquette and courtesy to stand or sit idly by when there are1 most probably1 ladies in the room who are waiting for an invitation to dance4 ,a ball generally begins about half-past nine or ten o'clock4 ,a man who stands up to dance without being acquainted with the figures1 makes himself ridiculous1 and places his partner in an embarrassing and unenviable position4 ,there is no need for him to know the steps4 ,it is enough if he knows how to walk gracefully through the dance1 and to conduct his partner through it like a gentleman4 ,no man can waltz too well2 but to perform steps in a quadrille is not only unnecessary but outr4 ,a gentleman cannot ask a lady to dance without being first introduced to her by some member of the hostess's family4 ,never enter a ball-room in other than full evening dress1 and white or light kid gloves4 ,a gentleman cannot be too careful not to injure a lady's dress4 ,the young men of the present day are inconceivably thoughtless in this respect1 and often seem to think the mischief which they do scarcely worth an apology4 ,cavalry officers should never wear spurs in a ball-room4 ,bear in mind that all ,casino habits are to be scrupulously avoided in a private ball-room4 ,it is an affront to a highly-bred lady to hold her hand behind you1 or on your hip1 when dancing a round dance4 ,we have seen even aristocratic young men of the fast genus commit these unpardonable offences against taste and decorum4 ,never forget a ball-room engagement4 ,it is the greatest neglect and slight that a gentleman can offer to a lady4 ,at the beginning and end of a quadrille the gentleman bows to his partner1 and bows again on handing her to a seat4 ,after dancing1 the gentleman may offer to conduct the lady to the refreshment-room4 ,should a lady decline your hand for a dance1 and afterwards stand up with another partner1 you will do well to attribute her error to either forgetfulness or ignorance of the laws of etiquette4 ,politeness towards your host and hostess demands that you should never make any little personal grievance the ground of discomfort or disagreement4 ,a gentleman conducts his last partner to supper2 waits upon her till she has had as much refreshment as she desires1 and then re-conducts her to the ball-room4 ,however much pleasure you may take in the society of any particular lady1 etiquette forbids that you should dance with her too frequently4 ,engaged persons would do well to bear this maxim in mind4 ,it is customary to call upon your entertainers within a few days after the ball4,a ,footnote ,a3 ,for a more detailed account of the laws and business of the ball1 see the chapters entitled ,the ,ball-room ,guide4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xii4--,,staying ,,at ,a ,,friend',s ,,house3--,,breakfast1 ,,luncheon1 c4 ,a visitor is bound by the laws of social intercourse to conform in all respects to the habits of the house4 ,in order to do this effectually1 he should inquire1 or cause his personal servant to inquire1 what those habits are4 ,to keep your friend's breakfast on the table till a late hour2 to delay the dinner by want of punctuality2 to accept other invitations1 and treat his house as if it were merely an hotel to be slept in2 or to keep the family up till unwonted hours1 are alike evidences of a want of good feeling and good breeding4 ,at breakfast and lunch absolute punctuality is not imperative2 but a visitor should avoid being always the last to appear at table4 ,no order of precedence is observed at either breakfast or luncheon4 ,persons take their seats as they come in1 and1 having exchanged their morning salutations1 begin to eat without waiting for the rest of the party4 ,if letters are delivered to you at breakfast or luncheon1 you may read them by asking permission from the lady who presides at the urn4 ,always hold yourself at the disposal of those in whose house you are visiting4 ,if they propose to ride1 drive1 walk1 or otherwise occupy the day1 you may take it for granted that these plans are made with reference to your enjoyment4 ,you should1 therefore1 receive them with cheerfulness1 enter into them with alacrity1 and do your best to seem pleased1 and be pleased1 by the efforts which your friends make to entertain you4 ,you should never take a book from the library to your own room without requesting permission to borrow it4 ,when it is lent1 you should take every care that it sustains no injury while in your possession1 and should cover it1 if necessary4 ,a guest should endeavour to amuse himself as much as possible1 and not be continually dependent on his hosts for entertainment4 ,he should remember that1 however welcome he may be1 he is not always wanted4 ,during the morning hours a gentleman visitor who neither shoots1 reads1 writes letters1 nor does anything but idle about the house and chat with the ladies1 is an intolerable nuisance4 ,sooner than become the latter1 he had better retire to the billiard-room and practise cannons by himself1 or pretend an engagement and walk about the neighbourhood4 ,those who receive staying visitors1 as they are called1 should remember that the truest hospitality is that which places the visitor most at his ease1 and affords him the greatest opportunity for enjoyment4 ,they should also remember that different persons have different ideas on the subject of enjoyment1 and that the surest way of making a guest happy is to find out what gives him pleasure2 not to impose that upon him which is pleasure to themselves4 ,a visitor should avoid giving unnecessary trouble to the servants of the house1 and should be liberal to them when he leaves4 ,the signal for retiring to rest is generally given by the appearance of the servant with wine1 water1 and biscuits1 where a late dinner-hour is observed and suppers are not the custom4 ,this is the last refreshment of the evening1 and the visitor will do well to rise and wish good-night shortly after it has been partaken of by the family4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xiii4--,,general ,,hints4 ,in entering a morning exhibition1 or public room1 where ladies are present1 the gentleman should lift his hat4 ,in going upstairs the gentleman should precede the lady2 in going down1 he should follow her4 ,if you accompany ladies to a theatre or concert-room1 precede them to clear the way and secure their seats4 ,do not frequently repeat the name of the person with whom you are conversing4 ,it implies either the extreme of hauteur or familiarity4 ,we have already cautioned you against the repetition of titles4 ,deference can always be better expressed in the voice1 manner1 and countenance than in any forms of words4 ,if when you are walking with a lady in any crowded thoroughfare you are obliged to proceed singly1 always precede her4 ,always give the lady the wall2 by doing so you interpose your own person between her and the passers by1 and assign her the cleanest part of the pavement4 ,at public balls1 theatres1 c41 a gentleman should never permit the lady to pay for refreshments1 vehicles1 and so forth4 ,if she insists on repaying him afterwards1 he must of course defer to her wishes4 ,never speak of absent persons by only their ,christian or surnames2 but always as ,mr4 ---- or ,mrs4 ----4 ,above all1 never name anybody by the first letter of his name4 ,married people are sometimes guilty of this flagrant offence against taste4 ,if you are smoking and meet a lady to whom you wish to speak1 immediately throw away your cigar4 ,do not smoke shortly before entering the presence of ladies4 ,a young man who visits frequently at the house of a married friend may be permitted to show his sense of the kindness which he receives by the gift of a ,christmas or ,new ,year's volume to the wife or daughter of his entertainer4 ,the presentation of ,etrennes is now carried to a ruinous and ludicrous height among our ,french neighbours2 but it should be remembered that1 without either ostentation or folly1 a gift ought to be worth offering4 ,it is better to give nothing than too little4 ,on the other hand1 mere costliness does not constitute the soul of a present2 on the contrary1 it has the commercial and unflattering effect of repayment for value received4 ,a gift should be precious for something better than its price4 ,it may have been brought by the giver from some far or famous place2 it may be unique in its workmanship2 it may be valuable only from association with some great man or strange event4 ,autographic papers1 foreign curiosities1 and the like1 are elegant gifts4 ,an author may offer his book1 or a painter a sketch1 with grace and propriety4 ,offerings of flowers and game are unexceptionable1 and may be made even to those whose position is superior to that of the giver4 ,if you present a book to a friend1 do not write his or her name in it1 unless requested4 ,you have no right to presume that it will be rendered any the more valuable for that addition2 and you ought not to conclude beforehand that your gift will be accepted4 ,never refuse a present unless under very exceptional circumstances4 ,however humble the giver1 and however poor the gift1 you should appreciate the goodwill and intention1 and accept it with kindness and thanks4 ,never say ,i fear ,i rob you1 or ,i am really ashamed to take it1 c41 c4 ,such deprecatory phrases imply that you think the bestower of the gift cannot spare or afford it4 ,never undervalue the gift which you are yourself offering2 you have no business to offer it if it is valueless4 ,neither say that you do not want it yourself1 or that you should throw it away if it were not accepted4 ,such apologies would be insults if true1 and mean nothing if false4 ,no compliment that bears insincerity on the face of it is a compliment at all4 ,to yawn in the presence of others1 to lounge1 to put your feet on a chair1 to stand with your back to the fire1 to take the most comfortable seat in the room1 to do anything which shows indifference1 selfishness1 or disrespect1 is unequivocally vulgar and inadmissible4 ,if a person of greater age or higher rank than yourself desires you to step first into a carriage1 or through a door1 it is more polite to bow and obey than to decline4 ,compliance with1 and deference to1 the wishes of others is the finest breeding4 ,when you cannot agree with the propositions advanced in general conversation1 be silent4 ,if pressed for your opinion1 give it with modesty4 ,never defend your own views too warmly4 ,when you find others remain unconvinced1 drop the subject1 or lead to some other topic4 ,look at those who address you4 ,never boast of your birth1 your money1 your grand friends1 or anything that is yours4 ,if you have travelled1 do not introduce that information into your conversation at every opportunity4 ,any one can travel with money and leisure4 ,the real distinction is to come home with enlarged views1 improved tastes1 and a mind free from prejudice4 ,give a foreigner his name in full1 as ,monsieur de ,vigny--never as ,monsieur only4 ,in speaking of him1 give him his title1 if he has one4 ,foreign noblemen are addressed viva voce as ,monsieur4 ,in speaking of a foreign nobleman before his face1 say ,monsieur le ,comte1 or ,monsieur le ,marquis4 ,in his absence1 say ,monsieur le ,comte de ,vigny4 ,converse with a foreigner in his own language4 ,if not competent to do so1 apologize1 and beg permission to speak ,english4 ,ball-,room ,guide4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i4--,,how ,,to ,,organise ,a ,,ball4 ,as the number of guests at a dinner-party is regulated by the size of the table1 so should the number of invitations to a ball be limited by the proportions of the ball-room4 ,a prudent hostess will always invite a few more guests than she really desires to entertain1 in the certainty that there will be some deserters when the appointed evening comes round2 but she will at the same time remember that to overcrowd her room is to spoil the pleasure of those who love dancing1 and that a party of this kind when1 too numerously attended is as great a failure as one at which too few are present4 ,a room which is nearly square1 yet a little longer than it is broad1 will be found the most favourable for a ball4 ,it admits of two quadrille parties1 or two round dances1 at the same time4 ,in a perfectly square room this arrangement is not so practicable or pleasant4 ,a very long and narrow room is obviously of the worst shape for the purpose of dancing1 and is fit only for quadrilles and country dances4 ,the top of the ball-room is the part nearest the orchestra4 ,in a private room1 the top is where it would be if the room were a dining-room4 ,it is generally at the farthest point from the door4 ,dancers should be careful to ascertain the top of the room before taking their places1 as the top couples always lead the dances4 ,a good floor is of the last importance in a ball-room4 ,in a private house1 nothing can be better than a smooth1 well-stretched holland1 with the carpet beneath4 ,abundance of light and free ventilation are indispensable to the spirits and comfort of the dancers4 ,good music is as necessary to the prosperity of a ball as good wine to the excellence of a dinner4 ,no hostess should tax her friends for this part of the entertainment4 ,it is the most injudicious economy imaginable4 ,ladies who would prefer to dance are tied to the pianoforte2 and as few amateurs have been trained in the art of playing dance music with that strict attention to time and accent which is absolutely necessary to the comfort of the dancers1 a total and general discontent is sure to be the result4 ,to play dance music thoroughly well is a branch of the art which requires considerable practice4 ,it is as different from every other kind of playing as whale fishing is from fly fishing4 ,those who give private balls will do well ever to bear this in mind1 and to provide skilled musicians for the evening4 ,for a small party1 a piano and cornopean make a very pleasant combination4 ,unless where several instruments are engaged we do not recommend the introduction of the violin3 although in some respects the finest of all solo instruments1 it is apt to sound thin and shrill when employed on mere inexpressive dance tunes1 and played by a mere dance player4 ,invitations to a ball should be issued in the name of the lady of the house1 and written on small note paper of the best quality4 ,elegant printed forms1 some of them printed in gold or silver1 are to be had at every stationer's by those who prefer them4 ,the paper may be gilt-edged1 but not coloured4 ,the sealing-wax used should be of some delicate hue4 ,an invitation to a ball should be sent out at least ten days before the evening appointed4 ,a fortnight1 three weeks1 and even a month may be allowed in the way of notice4 ,not more than two or three days should be permitted to elapse before you reply to an invitation of this kind4 ,the reply should always be addressed to the lady of the house1 and should be couched in the same person as the invitation4 ,the following are the forms generally in use3-- ,mrs4 ,molyneux requests the honour of ,captain ,hamilton's company at an evening party1 on ,monday1 ,march the #aath instant4 ,dancing will begin at ,nine o'clock4 ,thursday1 ,march #ast4 99 99 99 99 99 ,captain ,hamilton has much pleasure in accepting ,mrs4 ,molyneux's polite invitation for ,monday evening1 ,march the #aath instant4 ,friday1 ,march #bnd4 ,the old form of presenting compliments is now out of fashion4 ,if ,mrs4 ,molyneux writes to ,captain ,hamilton in the first person1 as ,my dear ,sir1 he is bound in etiquette to reply ,my dear ,madam4 ,the lady who gives a ball,a should endeavour to secure an equal number of dancers of both sexes4 ,many private parties are spoiled by the preponderance of young ladies1 some of whom never get partners at all1 unless they dance with each other4 ,a room should in all cases be provided for the accommodation of the ladies4 ,in this room there ought to be several looking-glasses2 attendants to assist the fair visitors in the arrangement of their hair and dress2 and some place in which the cloaks and shawls can be laid in order1 and found at a moment's notice4 ,it is well to affix tickets to the cloaks1 giving a duplicate at the same time to each lady1 as at the public theatres and concert-rooms4 ,needles and thread should also be at hand1 to repair any little accident incurred in dancing4 ,another room should be devoted to refreshments1 and kept amply supplied with coffee1 lemonade1 ices1 wine and biscuits during the evening4 ,where this cannot be arranged1 the refreshments should be handed round between the dances4 ,the question of supper is one which so entirely depends on the means of those who give a ball or evening party1 that very little can be said upon it in a treatise of this description4 ,where money is no object1 it is of course always preferable to have the whole supper1 with all appliances and means to boot1 sent in from some first-rate house4 ,it spares all trouble whether to the entertainers or their servants1 and relieves the hostess of every anxiety4 ,where circumstances render such a course imprudent1 we would only observe that a home-provided supper1 however simple1 should be good of its kind1 and abundant in quantity4 ,dancers are generally hungry people1 and feel themselves much aggrieved if the supply of sandwiches proves unequal to the demand4 ,great inconvenience is often experienced by the difficulty of procuring cabs at the close of an evening party4 ,gentlemen who have been dancing1 and are unprepared for walking1 object to go home on foot1 or seek vehicles for their wives and daughters4 ,female servants who have been in attendance upon the visitors during a whole evening ought not to be sent out4 ,if even men-servants are kept1 they may find it difficult to procure as many cabs as are necessary4 ,the best thing that the giver of a private ball can do under these circumstances1 is to engage a policeman with a lantern to attend on the pavement during the evening1 and to give notice during the morning at a neighbouring cab-stand1 so as to ensure a sufficient number of vehicles at the time when they are likely to be required4 ,footnote ,a3 ,it will be understood that we use the word ball to signify a private party1 where there is dancing1 as well as a public ball4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ii4--,,ball-,,room ,,toilette4 ,,ladies4 ,the style of a lady's dress is a matter so entirely dependent on age1 means and fashion1 that we can offer but little advice upon it4 ,fashion is so variable1 that statements which are true of it to-day may be false a month hence4 ,respecting no institution of modern society is it so difficult to pronounce half a dozen permanent rules4 ,we may perhaps be permitted to suggest the following leading principles2 but we do so with diffidence4 ,rich colours harmonize with rich brunette complexions and dark hair4 ,delicate colours are the most suitable for delicate and fragile styles of beauty4 ,very young ladies are never so suitably attired as in white4 ,ladies who dance should wear dresses of light and diaphanous materials1 such as tulle1 gauze1 crape1 net1 c41 over coloured silk slips4 ,silk dresses are not suitable for dancing4 ,a married lady who dances only a few quadrilles may wear a decollete silk dress with propriety4 ,very stout persons should never wear white4 ,it has the effect of adding to the bulk of the figure4 ,black and scarlet1 or black and violet1 are worn in mourning4 ,a lady in deep mourning should not dance at all4 ,however fashionable it may be to wear very long dresses1 those ladies who go to a ball with the intention of dancing and enjoying the dance1 should cause their dresses to be made short enough to clear the ground4 ,we would ask them whether it is not better to accept this slight deviation from an absurd fashion1 than to appear for three parts of the evening in a torn and pinned-up skirt8 ,well-made shoes1 whatever their colour or material1 and faultless gloves1 are indispensable to the effect of a ball-room toilette4 ,much jewellery is out of place in a ball-room4 ,beautiful flowers1 whether natural or artificial1 are the loveliest ornaments that a lady can wear on these occasions4 ,,gentlemen4 ,a black suit1 thin enamelled boots1 a white neckcloth1 and white or delicate grey gloves1 are the chief points of a gentleman's ball-room toilette4 ,he may wear an embroidered shirt2 and his waistcoat may be of silk4 ,white waistcoats are no longer fashionable4 ,much display of jewellery is no proof of good taste4 ,a handsome watch-chain1 with1 perhaps1 the addition of a few costly trifles suspended to it1 and a set of shirt-studs1 are the only adornments of this kind that a gentleman should wear4 ,the studs should be small1 but good4,a ,a gentleman's dress is necessarily so simple that it admits of no compromise in point of quality and style4 ,the material should be the best that money can procure1 and the fashion unexceptionable4 ,so much of the outward man depends on his tailor1 that we would urge no gentleman to economise in this matter4 ,footnote ,a3 ,see ,etiquette for ,gentlemen1 ,sec4 ,,vii4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iii4--,,etiquette ,,of ,,the ,,ball-,,room4,a ,on entering the ball-room1 the visitor should at once seek the lady of the house1 and pay his respects to her4 ,having done this1 he may exchange salutations with such friends and acquaintances as may be in the room4 ,if the ball be a public one1 and a gentleman desires to dance with any lady to whom he is a stranger1 he must apply to the master of the ceremonies for an introduction4 ,even in private balls1 no gentleman can invite a lady to dance without a previous introduction4 ,this introduction should be effected through the lady of the house1 or a member of her family4 ,no lady should accept an invitation to dance from a gentleman to whom she has not been introduced4 ,in case any gentleman should commit the error of so inviting her1 she should not excuse herself on the plea of a previous engagement1 or of fatigue1 as to do so would imply that she did not herself attach due importance to the necessary ceremony of introduction4 ,her best reply would be to the effect that she would have much pleasure in accepting his invitation1 if he would procure an introduction to her4 ,this observation may be taken as applying only to public balls4 ,at a private party the host and hostess are sufficient guarantees for the respectability of their guests2 and1 although a gentleman would show a singular want of knowledge of the laws of society in acting as we have supposed1 the lady who should reply to him as if he were merely an impertinent stranger in a public assembly-room1 would be implying an affront to her entertainers4 ,the mere fact of being assembled together under the roof of a mutual friend1 is in itself a kind of general introduction of the guests to each other4 ,an introduction given for the mere purpose of enabling a lady and gentleman to go through a dance together1 does not constitute an acquaintanceship4 ,the lady is at liberty to pass the gentleman in the park the next day without recognition4 ,no gentleman should venture to bow to a lady upon the strength of a ball-room introduction1 unless she does him the honour to recognize him first4 ,if he commits this solecism he must not be surprised to find that she does not return his salutation4 ,no gentleman should accept an invitation to a ball if he does not dance4 ,when ladies are present who would be pleased to receive an invitation1 those gentleman who hold themselves aloof are guilty1 not only of a negative1 but a positive act of neglect4 ,to attempt to dance without a knowledge of dancing is not only to make one's self ridiculous1 but one's partner also4 ,no lady or gentleman has the right to place a partner in this absurd position4 ,never forget a ball-room engagement4 ,to do so is to commit an unpardonable offence against good breeding4 ,it is not necessary that a lady or gentleman should be acquainted with the steps1 in order to walk gracefully and easily through a quadrille4 ,an easy carriage and a knowledge of the figure is all that is requisite4 ,a round dance1 however1 should on no account be attempted without a thorough knowledge of the steps1 and some previous practice4 ,no person who has not a good ear for time and tune need hope to dance well4 ,at the conclusion of a dance1 the gentleman bows to his partner1 and either promenades with her round the room1 or takes her to a seat4 ,where a room is set apart for refreshments1 he offers to conduct her thither4 ,at a public hall no gentleman would1 of course1 permit a lady to pay for refreshments4 ,no lady should accept refreshments from a stranger at a public ball2 for she would thereby lay herself under a pecuniary obligation4 ,for these she must rely on her father1 brothers1 or old friends4 ,good taste forbids that a lady and gentleman should dance too frequently together at either a public or private ball4 ,engaged persons should be careful not to commit this conspicuous solecism4 ,engagements for one dance should not be made while the present dance is yet in progress4 ,if a lady happens to forget a previous engagement1 and stand up with another partner1 the gentleman whom she has thus slighted is bound to believe that she has acted from mere inadvertence1 and should by no means suffer his pride to master his good temper4 ,to cause a disagreeable scene in a private ball-room is to affront your host and hostess1 and to make yourself absurd4 ,in a public room it is no less reprehensible4 ,always remember that good breeding and good temper 7or the appearance of good temper7 are inseparably connected4 ,young gentlemen are earnestly advised not to limit their conversation to remarks on the weather and the heat of the room4 ,it is1 to a certain extent1 incumbent on them to do something more than dance when they invite a lady to join a quadrille4 ,if it be only upon the news of the day1 a gentleman should be able to offer at least three or four observations to his partner in the course of a long half-hour4 ,gentlemen who dance cannot be too careful not to injure the dresses of the ladies who do them the honour to stand up with them4 ,the young men of the present day are singularly careless in this respect2 and when they have torn a lady's delicate skirt1 appear to think the mischief they have done scarcely worth the trouble of an apology4 ,a gentleman conducts his last partner to the supper-room1 and1 having waited upon her while there1 re-conducts her to the ball-room4 ,never attempt to take a place in a dance which has been previously engaged4 ,withdraw from a private ball-room as quietly as possible1 so that your departure may not be observed by others1 and cause the party to break up4 ,if you meet the lady of the house on her way out1 take your leave of her in such a manner that her other guests may not suppose you are doing so2 but do not seek her out for that purpose4 ,never be seen without gloves in a ball-room1 though it were only for a few moments4 ,those who dance much and are particularly soign in matters relating to the toilette1 take a second pair of gloves to replace the first when soiled4 ,a thoughtful hostess will never introduce a bad dancer to a good one1 because she has no right to punish one friend in order to oblige another4 ,it is not customary for married persons to dance together in society4 ,footnote ,a3 ,see ,etiquette for ,ladies1 and ,etiquette for ,gentlemen1 ,sec4 ,,ix4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iv4--,,the ,,quadrille4 ,the ,quadrille is the most universal1 as it is certainly the most sociable1 of all fashionable dances4 ,it admits of pleasant conversation1 frequent interchange of partners1 and is adapted to every age4 ,the young or old1 the ponderous paterfamilias or his sylph-like daughter1 may with equal propriety take part in its easy and elegant figures4 ,even an occasional blunder is of less consequence in this dance than in many others2 for each personage is in some degree free as to his own movements1 not being compelled by the continual embrace of his partner to dance either better or worse than he may find convenient4 ,people now generally walk through a quadrille4 ,nothing more than a perfect knowledge of the figure1 a graceful demeanour1 and a correct ear for the time of the music are requisite to enable any one to take a creditable part in this dance4 ,steps are quite gone out of fashion3 even the chass has been given up for some time past4 ,a quadrille must always consist of five parts4 ,if a variation be made in the fourth figure1 by the substitution of ,pastorale for ,trenise1 the latter must then be omitted2 or vice-vers4 ,as soon as a gentleman has engaged his partner for the quadrille1 he should endeavour to secure as his vis--vis some friend or acquaintance2 and should then lead his partner to the top of the quadrille1 provided that post of honour be still vacant4 ,he will place the lady always at his right hand4 ,quadrille music is divided into eight bars for each part of the figure2 two steps should be taken in every bar2 every movement thus invariably consists of eight or of four steps4 ,it is well not to learn too many new figures2 the memory is liable to become confused amongst them2 besides which1 it is doubtful whether your partner1 or your vis--vis1 is as learned in the matter as yourself4 ,masters are extremely fond of inventing and teaching new figures2 but you will do well to confine your attention to a few simple and universally received sets1 which you will find quite sufficient for your purpose4 ,we begin with the oldest and most common1 the ,,first ,,set ,,of ,,quadrilles4 ,first ,figure4--,le ,pantalon4 ,the couples at the top and bottom of the quadrille cross to each other's places in eight steps1 occupying four bars of the time2 then re-cross immediately to their own places1 which completes the movement of eight bars4 ,this is called the ,chaine ,anglaise4 ,the gentleman always keeps to the right of vis--vis lady in crossing1 thus placing her inside4 ,set to partners1 or balances2 turn your partners4 7,this occupies the second eight bars47 ,ladies1 chain1 or chaine des dames4 7,eight bars more47 ,each couple crosses to opposite couple's place1 gentleman giving his hand to his partner3 this is called half-promenade4 ,couples recross right and left to their places1 without giving hands1 which completes another eight bars1 and ends the figure4 ,the side couples repeat what the top and bottom couples have done4 ,second ,figure4--,l',et ,the ladies in all the top couples1 and their vis--vis gentlemen1 advance four steps1 and retire the same1 repeating this movement once again1 which makes the first eight bars4 ,top ladies and vis--vis gentlemen cross to each other's places2 advance four steps2 retreat ditto2 cross back towards partners1 who set to them as they advance2 turn partners2 which ends first half of figure4 ,second ladies and top vis--vis gentlemen execute the same movements4 ,then side couples begin1 the privilege of commencement being conferred on those ladies who stand at the right of the top couples4 ,this figure is sometimes performed in a different manner1 known as double ,l',et4 ,instead of the top lady and vis--vis gentleman advancing alone1 they advance with partners joining hands2 cross and return1 as in the single figure4 ,this variation is1 however1 somewhat out of vogue1 except 7as will presently be seen7 in the last figure of the quadrille1 where it is still frequently introduced4 ,third ,figure--,la ,poule4 ,top lady and vis--vis gentleman cross to each other's places1 giving right hand in passing2 cross back again with left hand4 7,eight bars47 ,the two couples form in a line1 and join hands1 the left hand of one holding the right hand of his or her neighbour1 so that each faces different ways2 in this position all four balancez1 then half promenade with partner to opposite place2 top lady and vis--vis gentleman advance four steps and retire ditto4 7#bnd eight bars47 ,both top and bottom couples advance together1 and retire the same2 then re-cross right and left to places4 7#crd eight bars47 ,second lady and first opposite gentleman repeat figure4 ,side couples repeat1 observing same rule for commencement as in ,l',et4 ,fourth ,figure4--,la ,trenise4 ,top couples join hands1 advance four steps and retreat ditto3 advance again1 gentleman leaving lady at left hand of vis--vis gentleman1 and retiring alone1 7#ast eight bars47 ,two ladies advance1 crossing to opposite side2 gentleman advances to meet his partner1 vis--vis lady returns to hers4 7#bnd eight bars47 ,balancez2 turn partners to places4 7#crd eight bars47 ,second couple performs same figure2 side couples repeat as before4 ,if ,la ,pastorale be preferred1 it will be performed thus3--,top couple advance and retreat2 advance1 gentleman leading lady to left hand of vis--vis gentleman2 he advances with both ladies four steps1 retreating ditto2 again advancing1 he leaves both ladies with first gentleman1 retreating alone2 top gentleman and both ladies advance and retreat2 again advance1 joining hands in circle1 go half round1 half promenade to opposite places1 then return right and left to their own4 ,second couples and side couples repeat as before4 ,fifth ,figure4--,la ,finale4 ,begin with the grand rond or great round2 that is1 the whole quadrille2 first and second couples and sides join hands all round1 advance four steps1 and retreat ditto4 ,l',et is now sometimes introduced1 the grand rond being repeated between each division of the figure4 ,but it gives a greater variety and brio to the quadrille if1 after the first grand rond1 the following figure be performed1 the galop step being used throughout4 ,each gentleman 7at top and bottom couples7 takes his lady round the waist1 as for the galop2 advance four steps1 retreat ditto1 advance again1 cross to opposite places2 advance1 retreat1 re-cross to own places4 ,ladies chain2 half promenade across2 half right and left to places2 grand rond4 ,side couples repeat figure4 ,grand rond between each division and at the conclusion4 ,bow to your partners1 and conduct your lady to seat4 99 99 99 99 99 ,v4--,,the ,,caledonians4 ,this quadrille has1 within the last few years become more fashionable than formerly4 ,but it is not so frequently danced as the ,lancers1 still less as the ,first ,set of ,quadrilles4 ,each set can consist only of eight couples1 differing in this respect from the simple quadrille1 which admits of an indefinite number of couples4 #ast ,figure4--,top and opposite couples hands across2 then back again2 balancez and turn partners2 chaine des dames2 half promenade across2 half right and left to places4 #bnd ,figure4--,top gentleman advances and retreats twice4 ,balancez to corners and turn1 each lady passing to her next neighbour's place4 ,having changed your partner1 all promenade quite round4 ,second1 third1 and fourth gentleman repeat same figure2 thus all have regained their places4 #crd ,figure4--,top lady and vis--vis gentleman advance and retreat twice4 ,top couple join hands and cross over2 opposite couple cross likewise1 separately1 allowing top couple to pass between them2 then top couple re-cross to places separately1 leaving the second couple 7who re-cross with joined hands7 inside4 ,balancez to corners and turn your neighbour's partner2 back to places4 ,all four couples1 joining hands in circle1 advance and retreat twice4 ,same figure repeated by second and side couples4 #dth ,figure4--,top lady and vis--vis gentleman advance four steps2 second lady and her vis--vis then do the same2 each couple turns partner back to places4 ,ladies in all four couples move four steps to the right1 each taking her neighbour's place2 gentlemen then move four steps to the left1 each into next neighbour's place4 ,ladies again to the right2 gentlemen again to the left4 ,promenade round1 turn partners to places4 ,second and side couples repeat in succession4 #eth ,figure4--,first couple promenade round inside the quadrille4 ,four ladies advance1 courtesy to each other1 and retire2 four gentlemen advance1 bow1 and retire4 ,balancez and turn partners4 ,grand chain half way round4 ,all promenade to places1 and turn partners4 ,all chassez croisez1 ladies right1 gentlemen left 7behind their partners71 and back again to places4 ,second and side couples repeat as before4 ,promenade all round for finale4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vi4--,,the ,,lancers4 ,the ,lancers ,quadrille is perhaps the most graceful and animated of any4 ,within the last few years it has become a great favourite in fashionable circles1 probably owing to its revival at the state balls of ,her ,majesty4 ,it admits of much skill and elegance in executing its quick and varied figures1 a correct acquaintance with which is absolutely requisite to all who take part in it4 ,unlike the common quadrille1 the ,lancers must be danced by four couples only in each set2 though of course there can be many sets dancing at the same time4 ,the number being so limited1 one awkward or ignorant person confuses the whole set2 therefore1 it is indispensable that every one who dances in this quadrille should have a thorough mastery of its graceful intricacies4 ,we have observed that of late it has become the fashion to substitute new tunes for the old well-known music of the ,lancers ,quadrille4 ,we cannot consider this an improvement4 ,the old simple melodies are peculiarly fitted to the sprightly1 joyous character of the dance2 which is more than can be said for any of the modern substitutes4 ,when these are used1 the ,lancers1 in our opinion1 loses its individuality and spirit1 becoming almost like a common quadrille4 ,we should be heartily glad to see the old tunes restored once for all to their rightful supremacy4 ,the sets of four couples1 top1 opposite and sides1 having been arranged1 the dance begins as follows3--#ast ,figure4--,first lady and opposite gentleman advance and retreat2 advance again1 joining their hands2 pass round each other and back to places4 7#ast eight bars47 ,top couple join hands1 and cross1 opposite couple crossing at the same time1 separately1 outside them2 the same reversed1 back to places4 7#bnd eight bars47 ,all the couples balancez to corners2 each gentleman turns his neighbour's partner back to places4 7#crd eight bars47 ,second couple repeat figure from beginning2 after them side couples1 those who stand to the right of top couple having always the priority1 as in the common quadrille4 #bnd ,figure4--,first couple advance and retreat1 gentleman holding lady's left hand2 advance again2 gentleman leaves his partner in the centre of the quadrille1 and retires to place4 7#ast eight bars47 ,balancez to each other and turn to places4 7#bnd eight bars47 ,side couples join first and second couples1 forming a line of four on either side4 ,each line advances four steps1 retreats ditto2 then advances again1 each gentleman reclaiming his partner1 and all turn to places4 ,second and side couples repeat figure in succession4 #crd ,figure4--,first lady advances four steps alone1 and stops2 vis--vis gentleman does the same2 first lady retires1 facing gentleman1 to whom she makes a slow profound courtesy4 7,the courtesy must occupy a bar or two of the music2 and as1 if made with grace and dignity1 it is most effective1 we would recommend ladies to practise it carefully beforehand47 ,the gentleman at the same time bows and retires4 7#ast eight bars47 ,all four ladies advance to centre1 give right hands across to each other 7which is called the double chain71 and left hand to vis--vis gentleman2 then back again1 left hands across in the middle1 and right hands to partners1 back to places4 7#bnd eight bars47 ,second and side couples repeat figure from commencement4 ,a more recent fashion for dancing this figure is as follows3--,instead of one lady advancing at first1 all four advance1 and courtesy to each other2 then turn and courtesy to their partners4 ,ladies do the moulinet in the centre2 that is1 give right hands across to each other1 and half round2 left hands back again1 and return to places4 ,gentlemen meantime all move round outside the ladies1 till each has regained his place4 ,figure1 as usual1 repeated four times2 but the second and fourth time the gentlemen advance instead of the ladies1 and bow1 first to each other1 then to their partners2 continuing as before through the rest of the figure4 #dth ,figure4--,top gentleman1 taking partner's left hand1 leads her to the couple on their right1 to whom they bow and courtesy 7which civility must be met with the like acknowledgment71 then cross quickly to fourth couple1 and do the same1 7#ast eight bars47 ,all four couples chassez croisez right and left 7gentleman invariably passing behind his partner7 then turn hands 7tour des mains7 back to places4 7#bnd eight bars47 ,first and opposite couples right and left across and back again to places4 7#crd eight bars47 ,second and sides repeat as usual4 #eth ,figure4--,this figure commences with the music4 ,each couple should stand ready1 the gentleman facing his partner1 his right hand holding hers4 ,if every one does not start directly the music begins1 and does not observe strict time throughout1 this somewhat intricate figure becomes hopelessly embarrassed2 but1 when well danced1 it is the prettiest of the set4 ,it commences with the grande chaine all round2 each gentleman giving his right hand to his partner at starting1 his left to the next lady1 then his right again1 and so all round1 till all have returned to their places4 7,this occupies sixteen bars of the music47 ,first couple promenade inside figure1 returning to places with their backs turned to opposite couple4 ,the side couple on their right falls in immediately behind them2 the fourth couple follows1 the second couple remaining in their places4 ,a double line is thus formed--ladies on one side and gentlemen on the other4 7#crd eight bars47 ,all chassez croisez1 ladies left1 gentlemen right1 behind partners4 ,first lady leads off1 turning sharply round to the right2 first gentleman does the same to the left1 meeting at the bottom of the quadrille1 and promenade back to places4 ,all the ladies follow first lady2 all the gentlemen follow first gentleman2 and as each meets his partner at the bottom of the figure1 they touch hands1 then fall back in two lines--ladies on one side1 gentlemen on the other--facing each other4 7#dth eight bars47 ,four ladies join hands1 advance and retreat2 four gentlemen ditto at the same time2 then each turns his partner to places4 7#eth eight bars47 ,grande chaine again4 ,second and side couples repeat the whole figure in succession1 each couple taking its turn to lead off1 as the first had done4 ,grande chaine between each figure and in conclusion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vii4--,,the ,,lancers ,,for ,,sixteen1 ,,or ,,double ,,lancers4 #ast figure4--,two first ladies and vis--vis gentlemen begin at the same moment1 and go through the figure as in ,single ,lancers4 ,all balancez to corners2 in other words1 each lady sets to gentleman at her right1 who turns her to her place4 ,second couples and sides repeat as usual4 #bnd ,figure4--,first couples advance1 retreat1 advance again1 leaving ladies in centre2 set to partners and turn to places4 ,two side couples nearest first couples join them2 two side couples nearest second couples do the same1 thus forming eight in each line4 ,they all advance and retreat1 holding hands1 then turn partners to places4 ,repeated by second and side couples as usual4 #crd ,figure4--,first ladies advance and stop2 vis--vis gentlemen ditto2 courtesy profoundly1 bow1 and back to places4 ,ladies do the moulinet1 gentlemen go round outside1 and back to places4 ,or1 ladies advance and courtesy to each other and then to partners2 gentlemen1 doing the same when the second and fourth couples begin the figure1 as in ,single ,lancers4 #dth ,figure4--,first couples advance to couples on their right2 bow and courtesy2 cross to opposite side1 bow and courtesy1 chassez croisez1 and return to places4 ,right and left to opposite places1 and back again4 ,second couples and sides repeat figure4 #eth ,figure4--,grande chaine all round1 pausing at the end of every eight bars to bow and courtesy2 continue chaine back to places1 which will occupy altogether thirty-two bars of the music4 ,figure almost the same as in ,single ,lancers4 ,both first couples lead round1 side couples falling in behind1 thus forming four sets of lines4 ,figure repeated by second and side couples2 grande chaine between each figure and at the conclusion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,viii4--,,coulon',s ,,double ,,quadrille4 ,this quadrille contains the same figures as the common quadrille1 but so arranged that they are danced by four instead of two couples4 ,all quadrille music suits it2 and it occupies just half the time of the old quadrille4 ,it makes an agreeable variety in the movements of the dance1 and is easily learnt4 ,it requires four couples4 ,first ,figure4--,pantalon4 ,first and second couples right and left1 whilst side couples dance the chaine ,anglaise outside them4 ,all four couples set to partners and turn them4 ,four ladies form ladies' chain1 or hands across in the middle of the figure1 giving first right hands1 and then left1 back to places4 ,half promenade1 first and second couples do chaine ,anglaise1 while side couples do grand chaine round them4 ,this leaves all in their right places1 and ends figure4 ,second ,figure4--,l',et ,first lady1 and lady on her right hand1 perform the figure with their vis--vis gentlemen1 as in common ,l',et2 taking care1 when they cross1 to make a semicircle to the left4 ,second couple and second side couple repeat figure1 as in common4 ,l',et4 ,third ,figure4--,la ,poule4 ,top lady and vis--vis gentleman1 lady at her right1 and her opposite gentleman1 perform figure at the same time1 setting to each other in two cross lines4 ,other couples follow as usual4 ,fourth ,figure4--,la ,pastorale4 ,the first and opposite couples dance the figure1 not with each other1 but with the couples to their right4 ,the latter do the same with first and second couples4 ,fifth ,figure4--,finale4 ,galopade all round4 ,top and opposite couples galopade forwards1 and retreat4 ,as they retreat side couples advance2 and1 as they retreat in their turn1 first and second couples galopade to each others place4 ,side couples the same4 ,first and second couples advance again2 side couples the same as the others retreat2 first and second back to places as side couples retreat4 ,side couples back to places4 ,double chaine des dames1 and galopade all round4 ,then side couples repeat figure as usual1 and galop all round in conclusion4 ,it is requisite to keep correct time and step in this quadrille1 which would otherwise become much confused4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ix4--,,the ,,polka4 ,the origin of this once celebrated dance is difficult to ascertain4 ,it is believed by some to be of great antiquity1 and to have been brought into ,germany from the ,east4 ,others affirm that its origin is of more recent date1 and its birthplace considerably nearer home4 ,an authority on these matters remarks2 ,in spite of what those professors say who proclaim themselves to have learnt the ,polka in ,germany1 or as being indebted for it to a ,hungarian nobleman1 we are far from placing confidence in their assertions4 ,in our opinion ,paris is its birthplace1 and its true author1 undoubtedly1 the now far-famed ,monsieur ,cellarius1 for whom this offspring of his genius has gained a ,european celebrity4 ,whatever we may be inclined to believe with regard to this disputed question1 there can be no doubt of the wide-spread popularity which for many years was enjoyed by the ,polka4 ,when first introduced1 in #ahdc1 it was received with enthusiasm by every capital in ,europe2 and it effected a complete revolution in the style of dancing which had prevailed up to that period4 ,a brisk1 lively character was imparted even to the steady-going quadrille2 the old ,valse ,trois ,temps was pronounced insufferably slow2 and its brilliant rival1 the ,valse ,deux ,temps1 which had been recently introduced1 at once established the supremacy which it has ever since maintained4 ,the galop1 which had been until this period only an occasional dance1 now assumed a prominent post in every ball-room1 dividing the honours with the valse4 ,but all these dances1 though modified in character by the introduction of the ,polka1 were for a time thrown into the shade by this new claimant upon public favour4 ,its popularity was unrivalled in the annals of dancing4 ,rich and poor1 young and old1 grave and gay1 all were alike smitten by the universal ,polka mania4 ,all flocked to take lessons in this new and fascinating dance2 and the professors of its mysteries fairly divided public attention with the members of the ,anti-,corn-,law ,league1 then holding their meetings at ,drury ,lane ,theatre4 ,we will even go so far as to say that ,messrs4 ,bright and ,cobden were scarcely more anxious to destroy the vexatious ,corn ,laws than were these worthy ,polka-maniacs to create corn laws of their own1 which1 if more innocent1 were equally undesirable4 ,for many years the ,polka maintained its position as the universal favourite2 but1 during the last five or six seasons1 its popularity has slowly but surely declined4 ,it is never danced now in the ball-rooms of the aristocracy1 but the middle classes have not yet quite discarded their old friend1 though even amongst their programmes its name rarely occurs4 ,perhaps no dance affords greater facilities for the display of ignorance or skill1 elegance or vulgarity1 than the ,polka4 ,the step is simple and easily acquired1 but the method of dancing it varies ad infinitum4 ,some persons race and romp through the dance in a manner fatiguing to themselves and dangerous to their fellow-dancers4 ,others 7though this is more rare7 drag their partner listlessly along1 with a sovereign contempt alike for the requirements of the time and the spirit of the music4 ,some gentlemen hold their partner so tight that she is half suffocated2 others hold her so loosely that she continually slips away from them4 ,all these extremes are equally objectionable1 and defeat the graceful intention of the dance4 ,it should be performed quietly1 but with spirit1 and always in strict time4 ,the head and shoulders should be kept still1 not jerked and turned at every step1 as is the manner of some4 ,the feet should glide swiftly along the floor--not hopping or jumping as if the boards were red-hot4 ,you should clasp your partner lightly but firmly round the waist with your right arm4 ,your left hand takes her right hand2 but beware of elevating your arm and hers in the air1 or holding them out straight1 which suggests the idea of windmills4 ,above all1 never place your left hand on your hip or behind you4 ,in the first place1 you thus drag your partner too much forward1 which makes her look ungraceful2 in the next1 this attitude is never used except in casinos1 and it is almost an insult to introduce it in a respectable ball-room4 ,let the hand which clasps your partner's fall easily by your side in a natural position1 and keep it there4 ,your partner's left hand rests on your right shoulder2 her right arm is thrown a little forward towards your left4 ,the ,polka is danced in #b_/d time4 ,there are three steps in each bar2 the fourth beat is always a rest4 ,the rhythm of the dance may be thus indicated3-- ,illustration the three steps being performed on the three first beats of every bar4 ,it is next to impossible to describe in words the step of the ,polka1 or of any circular dance3 nothing but example can correctly teach it2 and1 although we shall do our best to be as clear as possible1 we would earnestly recommend those of our readers who desire to excel1 whether in this or the following dances1 to take a few lessons from some competent instructor4 ,the gentleman starts with his left foot1 the lady with her right4 ,we shall describe the step as danced by the gentleman3 the same directions1 reversing the order of the feet1 will apply to the lady4 #ast beat4--,spring slightly on right foot1 at the same time slide left foot forward4 #bnd beat4--,bring right foot forward by glissade1 at the same time rising left foot4 #crd beat4--,bring left foot slightly forward and fall upon it1 leaving right foot raised1 and the knee slightly bent1 ready to begin the step at the first beat of the next bar4 #dth beat4--,remain on left foot4 ,begin next bar with the right foot1 and repeat the step to end of third beat4 ,begin the following bar with left foot2 and so on2 commencing each bar with right or left foot alternately4 ,the ,polka is danced with a circular movement1 like the ,valse2 in each bar you half turn1 so that1 by the end of the second bar1 you have brought your partner completely round4 ,it was at first customary to promenade your partner round the room1 doing a kind of balancez to each other in the ,polka step before commencing the valse figure4 ,but this fashion soon became antiquated1 and has fallen into complete disuse4 ,the circular movement of the ,polka admits of two directions--from right or left or from left to right4 ,the ordinary direction is from right to left4 ,the opposite one is known as the reverse step4 ,it is more difficult to execute1 but is a pleasant change for skilled dancers1 if they have become giddy from turning too long in one direction4 ,in dancing the ,polka1 or any circular dance where a large number of couples are performing at the same time1 the gentleman must be careful to steer his fair burden safely through the mazes of the crowded ball-room4 ,a little watchfulness can almost always avoid collisions1 and a good dancer would consider himself disgraced if any mishap occurred to a lady under his care4 ,keep a sharp look out1 and avoid crowded corners4 ,should so many couples be dancing as to render such caution impossible1 stop at once1 and do not go on until the room has become somewhat cleared4 ,in a few minutes others will have paused to rest1 and you can then continue4 ,your partner will be grateful that your consideration has preserved her from the dismal plight in which we have seen some ladies emerge from this dance--their coiffeurs disordered1 their dresses torn1 and their cheeks crimson with fatigue and mortification1 while their indignant glances plainly showed the anger they did not care to express in words1 and which their reckless partner had fully deserved4 ,a torn dress is sometimes not the heaviest penalty incurred3 we have known more than one instance where ladies have been lamed for weeks through the culpable carelessness of their partners1 their tender feet having been half crushed beneath some heavy boot in one of these awkward collisions4 ,this is a severe price to pay for an evening's amusement1 and gentlemen are bound to be cautious how they inflict it1 or anything approaching to it1 upon their fair companions4 ,ladies1 on the other hand1 will do well to remember that by leaning heavily upon their partner's shoulder1 dragging back from his encircling arm or otherwise impeding the freedom of his movements1 they materially add to his labour and take from his pleasure in the dance4 ,they should endeavour to lean as lightly1 and give as little trouble1 as possible2 for1 however flattering to the vanity of the nobler sex may be the idea of feminine dependence1 we question whether the reality1 in the shape of a dead weight upon their aching arms throughout a ,polka or ,valse of twenty minutes' duration1 would be acceptable to even the most chivalrous amongst them4 ,we have been thus minute in our instructions1 because they not only apply to the ,polka1 but equally to all circular dances where a great number stand up to dance at the same time4 ,we now pass on to the 99 99 99 99 99 ,x4--,,cellarius ,,valse4 ,sometimes called the ,mazourka1 though generally best known by the name of its inventor1 ,m4 ,cellarius1 of ,paris4 ,it was imported to ,england in #ahde1 two years after the introduction of the ,polka2 and1 although it never attained so great a popularity as its predecessor1 it was favourably received1 and much danced in the best circles4 ,still it failed to achieve the decided success which might have been reasonably expected from its elegance and beauty4 ,perhaps one reason of this disappointing result was that many inefficient performers attempted to dance it before they had mastered its somewhat difficult step1 and brought it into disrepute by their ungraceful exhibitions4 ,but the grand secret of its partial failure lay in the mania for rapid whirling dances1 introduced by the ,polka4 ,while the rage for fast dancing continued1 the measured grace of the ,cellarius stood no chance4 ,now that it has at last happily abated1 people are better prepared to appreciate the refined and quiet charm of this really beautiful valse4 ,to dance it well requires some practice2 and particular attention must be paid to the carriage and position of the figure1 since no dance is more thoroughly spoiled by an awkward1 stiff1 or stooping attitude4 ,we proceed to describe the step1 so far as it may be possible to do so in words2 but we have an uneasy consciousness that all such descriptions bear a close resemblance to those contained in certain little volumes designed to instruct our fair readers in the mysteries of knitting1 netting1 and crochet4 ,slip two1 miss one1 bring one forward1 c41 may convey to the mind of the initiated a distinct idea of the pattern of a collar2 but are hardly satisfactory guides to the step of a valse4 ,we must1 however1 do our best2 though again we would impress upon the reader the necessity of seeking further instruction from a professor or experienced friend4 ,the time of the ,cellarius ,valse is #c_/d1 like the common valse2 but it should be played much more slowly2 if danced quickly1 it becomes an unmeaning succession of hops1 and its graceful character is destroyed4 ,we describe the step as danced by the lady2 for the gentleman it will be the same1 with the feet reversed2 that is1 for right foot read left1 and so on4 ,first ,step4 #ast and #bnd beat4--,spring on left foot1 sliding forward right foot at the same time1 and immediately let your weight rest on the forward foot4 ,this occupies two beats4 #crd beat4--,spring on right foot2 this ends the bar4 #bnd bar1 #ast and #bnd beat4--,spring again on right foot1 and slide forward left at same time4 ,rest on it a moment as before during second beat2 at third beat spring on it2 which ends second bar4 ,continue same step throughout4 ,you will perceive that1 at the first and third beat of the time1 you hop slightly1 resting1 during the second beat1 on the foremost foot4 ,second ,step4 #ast beat4--,spring on left foot1 slightly striking both heels together4 #bnd beat4--,slide right foot to the right1 bending the knee4 #crd beat4--,bring left foot up to right foot with a slight spring1 raising right foot2 which ends the first bar4 #bnd bar1 #ast beat4--,spring again on left foot1 striking it with heel of right4 #bnd beat4--,slide right foot to the right4 #crd beat4--,fall on right foot1 raising left foot behind it1 which ends the second bar4 ,reverse the step by springing first on the right foot1 and sliding the left1 c4 ,the music generally indicates that this step should be repeated three times to the right1 which occupies three bars2 then rest1 during the fourth bar1 and return with reverse step to the left during the three bars which follow1 resting again at the eighth bar4 ,third ,step #ast beat4--,spring on left foot1 and slide right foot to the right4 #bnd beat4--,rest on right foot4 #crd beat4--,spring on right foot1 bringing left up behind it4 #bnd bar1 #ast beat4--,spring on right foot1 sliding left foot to the left4 #bnd beat4--,rest on left foot4 #crd beat4--,hop on left foot1 bringing right behind it as before4 ,continue at pleasure4 ,the first of these three steps is most commonly used in the valse2 but the second is an agreeable change for those who may have grown giddy or weary in doing the figure en tournant 7circular movement74 ,be careful not to exaggerate the slight hop at the first and third beats of each bar2 and to slide the foot gracefully forward1 not merely to make a step1 as some bad dancers do4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xi4--,,the ,,mazourka ,,quadrille4 ,those who have mastered the steps of the ,cellarius will find little trouble in dancing this elegant quadrille4 ,it has five figures1 and can be performed by any even number of couples4 ,the music1 like the step1 is that of the ,mazourka4 ,the couples are arranged as in the ordinary quadrille4 ,join hands all round2 grand rond to the left 7four bars71 then back again to the right 7four bars71 employing the second step of the ,cellarius4 ,each couple does the petit tour forwards1 and backwards1 still using the second step1 and repeating it three times to the right--then resting a bar2 three times to the left--then resting another bar2 which occupies eight bars of the music4 ,these figures may be considered as preliminary4 ,we find the quadrille itself so well described in the work of a contemporary1 that we cannot do better than extract the account in full1 for the benefit of our readers4 #ast ,figure4--,top and bottom couples right and left 7eight bars71 with ,redowa steps2,a then they advance1 the ladies cross over1 the gentleman meanwhile pass quickly round each other1 and return to own places 7four bars72 petit tour forward with opposite ladies 7four bars72 right and left 7eight bars72 advance again2 the ladies return to own places1 and the gentlemen pass again round each other to their own ladies 7four bars72 petit tour backward 7four bars74 ,side couples do likewise4 #bnd ,figure4--7,eight bars rest47 ,top and bottom couples advance and retire1 hands joined 7four bars74 ,all cross over into opposite places1 each going to each other's left 7four bars72 petit tour forward 7four bars72 advance and retire 7four bars71 and return to places 7four bars72 petit tour 7four bars74 ,side couples do likewise4 #crd ,figure4--7,eight bars rest47 ,top and bottom ladies cross over into opposite places 7four bars72 return1 presenting left hands to each other1 and right hands to partners1 as in ,la ,poule 7four bars72 pass round with partners into opposite places 7four bars72 petit tour backward 7four bars72 vis--vis couples hands across1 round 7six bars72 retire 7two bars72 top and bottom ladies cross over 7four bars72 ladies cross again1 giving each other left hands1 and right to partners 7four bars74 ,all pass round to own places 7four bars72 petit tour backward 7four bars74 #dth ,figure4--7,eight bars rest47 ,top couple lead round inside the figure 7eight bars72 petit tour forward and backward 7eight bars72 advance to opposite couple2 the gentleman turns half round without quitting his partner1 and gives his left hand to opposite lady2 the two ladies join hands behind gentleman 7four bars72 in this position the three advance and retire 7eight bars74 ,the gentleman passes under the ladies' arms2 all three pass round to the left1 with second step of ,cellarius1 the opposite lady finishing in her own place 7four bars74 ,the top couple return to places 7four bars72 petit tour forward 7four bars74 ,opposite couple and side couples do likewise4 #eth ,figure4--7,eight bars rest47 ,top and bottom couples half right and left 7four bars72 petit tour backward 7four bars72 half right and left to places 7four bars72 petit tour backward 7four bars72 vis--vis couples hands round to opposite places 7four bars72 petit tour forward 7four bars72 hands round to own places 7four bars72 petit tour 7four bars72 right and left 7eight bars74 ,side couples do likewise4 ,finale4 ,grand round all to the left1 and then to the right 7sixteen bars72 grand chain1 as in the ,lancers1 with first step of ,cellarius 7sixteen bars74 ,but if there are more than eight in the quadrille1 the music must be continued until all have regained their places4 ,n4,b4--,music continues during rest4 ,footnote ,a3 ,this step will be found farther on in the book1 under the head of the ,redowa ,valse4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xii4--,,the ,,polka ,,mazourka4 ,the step of this dance is1 as its implies1 a mixture of the steps of the ,polka and the ,mazourka4 ,it is a favourite dance with the ,parisians1 but has never been very popular in ,england1 probably from the same reasons which prevented the success of the ,cellarius4 ,yet it is a pretty dance1 and the step is easily acquired4 ,we recommend it to the attention of our readers4 ,the time is #c_/h1 and quicker than that of the ,cellarius4 ,gentleman takes his partner as in the valse4 ,figure en tournant4 ,we describe the steps for the gentleman2 the lady simply reverses the order of the feet1 using left foot for right throughout4 #ast beat4--,rest on right foot1 with left foot a little raised behind1 and slide left foot to the left4 #bnd beat4--,spring on the right foot1 bringing it up to where the left foot is1 and raising the latter in front4 #crd beat4--,spring once more on right foot1 passing left foot behind without touching the ground with it2 this ends first bar4 #bnd bar1 #ast beat4--,slide left foot to the left1 as before4 #bnd beat4--,spring on right foot1 as before1 and bring it up to the place of left foot1 raising latter at same moment4 #crd beat4--,fall on the left foot1 and raise the right foot behind2 end of second bar4 ,begin third bar with right foot1 and continue as before4 ,you turn half round in the first three beats1 and complete the circle in the second three4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xiii4--,,the ,,redowa1 ,,or ,,redova4 ,the step of this valse somewhat resembles that of the ,cellarius1 and is used1 as we have seen1 in dancing the ,mazourka ,quadrille4 ,it is an elegant valse1 not so lively as the ,polka ,mazourka1 but1 if danced in correct time1 not too slowly1 is very graceful and pleasing4 ,the step is not so difficult as that of the ,cellarius2 it is almost a ,pas de ,basque1 with the addition of the hop4 ,in all these dances1 which partake of the nature of the ,mazourka1 it is requisite to mark distinctly the first and third beats of every bar1 otherwise the peculiar character of the movement is completely lost4 ,we describe the step for the lady as it is employed in the forward movement4 #ast beat4--,stand with right foot slightly forward2 spring upon it1 bringing it behind left foot1 which is raised at same moment4 #bnd beat4--,slide your left foot forward1 bending the knee4 #crd beat4--,bring your right foot1 with a slight hop1 up behind your left foot1 raising the latter and keeping it in front4 7,one bar47 #ast beat4--,spring ,upon your left foot1 passing it behind your right1 and raising latter4 #bnd beat4--,slide right foot forward1 bending the knee4 #crd beat4--,bring left foot up to right1 with slight hop1 and raise right foot at same moment1 keeping it in front as before4 ,when the figure en tournant 7circular movement7 is employed1 the lady begins by sliding the left foot forward1 and the right foot backward4 ,gentleman always does the same1 with order of feet reversed4 ,this dance has been very popular in ,paris2 in ,england it is now seldom seen4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xiv4--,,the ,,schottische4 ,the ,schottische was introduced amongst us about the same time as the ,polka ,mazourka1 but it received a much more cordial welcome1 and has always been popular in ,england4 ,its origin is as uncertain as that of the ,polka1 and it is believed to be a very ancient national dance4 ,it is a great favourite with the ,german peasantry2 and although its name1 ,schottische1 would seem to imply that it came from ,scotland1 there is no doubt that it is essentially ,german alike in character and in music4 ,the step1 although easy to learn1 requires great precision4 ,we would recommend our readers to adhere throughout to the circular movement4 ,some dancers begin by four steps to the right1 then back again1 not turning until they commence the second half of the figure4 ,but when many couples are dancing this practice involves a risk of collisions1 and it is safer to begin at once with the figure en tournant4 ,the second part of the step consists of a series of slight hops1 which must be made exactly at the same moment by both parties1 otherwise a break-down is inevitable4 ,they should be executed as quickly as possible1 so as to avoid the jigging effect which bad dancers impart to the ,schottische4 ,when well performed it is a very animated and elegant dance1 forming an agreeable variety to the ,polka and ,valse4 ,the time is #b_/d2 it should be played a good deal slower than the ,polka2 when hurried it becomes ungraceful and vulgar4 ,the first and third beat in each bar should be slightly marked4 ,we proceed to describe the step as danced by the gentleman4 ,slide the left foot forward2 bring right foot close up behind left foot4 ,slide left foot forward a second time4 ,spring upon left foot4 ,then do the same with right foot4 ,having completed four steps1 first with the left foot1 and then with the right1 you come to the second part1 which consists of a series of double hops1 two on each foot alternately4 ,hop twice on the left foot 7one hop for each beat of the time71 and half turn round2 then twice on the right1 completing the circular movement4 ,repeat the same through another four beats2 then resume first step through the next two bars1 and continue to alternate them every second bar4 ,you can also vary the dance at pleasure1 by continuing the first step without changing it for the hops2 or you can likewise continue these throughout several bars in succession2 taking care1 of course1 to apprise your partner of your intention4 ,even when well and quietly danced1 there is something undignified in the hopping movement of the second step2 and we have observed with satisfaction that for some time past it has been replaced by the step of the ,valse ,deux ,temps1 which is now generally used instead of the double hops4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xv4--,,la ,,varsovienne4 ,this is a round dance for two1 which1 like the ,polka ,mazourka1 is a combination of the steps of one or two other dances4 ,since the introduction of the ,polka and the ,cellarius1 several dances have been invented which partake largely of the character of both4 ,la ,varsovienne is very graceful1 and was popular in ,england a few years ago4 ,it is not often danced now4 ,take your partner as for the ,valse4 ,count three in each bar4 ,time much the same as in ,polka ,mazourka4 ,the music is generally divided into parts of sixteen bars each4 ,the steps for the gentleman is as follows in the first part3-- ,slide left foot to the left2 slightly spring forward with right foot1 twice1 leaving the left foot raised behind1 in readiness for next step1 7#ast bar47 ,repeat the same4 7#bnd bar47 ,one polka step1 during which turn4 7#crd bar47 ,bring your right foot to the second position1 and wait a whole bar4 7#dth bar47 ,resume first step with right foot1 and repeat throughout1 reversing order of feet4 ,lady1 as usual1 begins with her right foot1 doing the same step4 ,second step in second part4 #ast bar4--,gentleman1 beginning with his left foot1 does one polka step to the left1 turning partner4 #bnd bar4--,bring right foot to the second position1 and bend towards it2 wait a whole bar4 #crd bar4--,one polka step with right foot to the right1 turning partner4 #dth bar4--,left foot to second position2 bend towards it1 and wait as before4 ,third part4--,take three polka steps to the left4 7,this occupies three bars47 ,bring right foot to second position1 and wait one bar4 ,repeat the same1 beginning with right foot to the right4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xvi4--,,the ,,gorlitza4 ,this is a ,polish round dance for two1 which was brought over to ,london from ,paris in #ahea4 ,like the ,varsovienne1 it is now seldom seen beyond the walls of the dancing academy4 ,perhaps one reason of its short-lived popularity is to be found in the fact that it is rather troublesome to learn1 the steps being changed continually4 ,the time is the same as that of the ,schottische1 but not quite so quick4 ,take your position as for the ,polka4 #ast bar4--,one polka step to the left1 beginning with left foot1 and turning half round4 #bnd bar4--,slide your right foot to right1 bring left foot up close behind it1 as in the fifth position2 make a glissade with your right foot1 ending with your left in front4 #crd bar4--,spring on your right foot1 raising your left in front4 ,fall on your left foot1 passing it behind your right foot4 ,glissade to right with right foot1 ending with left in front4 #dth bar4--,again spring on right foot1 raising left in front4 ,fall on left foot1 passing it behind right4 ,glissade to right1 with your right foot2 end with same foot in front4 ,then repeat from beginning during the next four bars1 but the second time be careful to end with the left foot in front4 ,during the last two bars you turn round1 but do not move forward4 ,the step for the lady is the same1 with the order of the feet1 as usual1 reversed2 except1 however1 in the last two bars of this figure1 which both begin with the same foot4 ,the ,gorlitza1 like the preceding dance1 is divided into parts4 ,the first part occupies eight bars of the music2 the second1 sixteen bars4 ,the step for the second part is as follows3-- #ast four bars4--,commence with ,polka ,mazurka step1 with left foot to the left1 and turn half round4 ,then do the step of the ,cellarius to the right1 beginning with the right foot2 fall on left foot1 keeping it behind right foot2 glissade with right foot1 and end with same in front4 #bnd four bars4--,polka ,mazurka1 with right foot to the right1 and turn half round4 ,cellarius step1 with left foot to the left4 ,fall on right foot1 keeping it behind2 glissade with left foot1 bringing it behind4 ,repeat from beginning1 which completes the sixteen bars of second half of the figure4 ,lady does the same steps1 with order of feet reversed4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xvii4--,,the ,,valse ,a ,,trois ,,temps ,twenty years ago1 the ,valse 7or1 as it was then pronounced1 ,waltz7 was a stately measure1 danced with gravity and deliberation4 ,each couple wheeled round and round with dignified composure1 never interrupting the monotony of the dance by any movements forward or backward4 ,they consequently soon became giddy1 although the music was not played above half as fast as the valse music of our day4 ,we are bound to admit that this stately fashion of waltzing was infinitely more graceful than the style which has superseded it4 ,but1 having confessed so much1 we may venture to add that the ,valse1 as danced by the present generation1 possesses a spirit1 lightness1 and variety quite unknown to its stately predecessor4 ,the old ,waltz was introduced into this country from ,germany1 where it has always been the favourite dance of the people in all ranks and conditions4 ,but1 although we adopted the step of their national waltz1 we so entirely altered the time1 that it became in our hands a totally different dance1 which the ,germans themselves would have found it difficult to recognize4 ,at that period1 fast dancing was unknown in ,england1 and would have been regarded as highly indecorous4 ,at its first introduction1 the ,waltz was received with great mistrust by the older portion of the community4 ,if it was to be tolerated at all in correct society1 it must at least be danced in a deliberate manner1 consonant with the dignity of the ,english character4 ,it was1 therefore1 taken at half its original temps2 it ceased to be the giddy1 intoxicating whirl in which the ,germans delight1 and subsided into the comparatively insipid and spiritless affair known thirty years ago as the ,german ,waltz4 ,we have already seen how complete was the revolution effected by the ,polka in these old-fashioned ideas4 ,but1 although we cannot regret the introduction of a more animated style of dancing1 we are sorry that the old ,waltz has been so entirely given up4 ,when restored to its original temps1 the ,valse ,trois ,temps is nearly as spirited as the ,valse ,deux2 and twice as graceful4 ,it has the additional advantage over the latter1 that it contains in each bar three steps to three beats of the time2 whereas the ,deux ,temps1 as its name implies1 numbers only two steps in a bar of three notes2 and is thus incorrect in time4 ,we venture to predict that the old ,waltz will1 at no distant day1 be restored to public favour4 ,we shall be heartily glad to welcome it once more1 but on the condition that it shall be danced in the only manner which does justice to all its attractions2 that is1 as it is danced by the ,german peasants under the wide-spreading oaks of its own fatherland4 ,we proceed to describe the step for the gentleman3 the same1 beginning with right foot instead of left1 will apply to the lady4 ,gentleman takes his partner round the waist with his right arm2 his left hand holds hers1 as in the ,polka4 ,lady places left hand on his shoulder1 and right hand in his left hand4 ,begin at once with the figure en tournant4 ,time #c_/d2 one step to each beat4 ,first beat in each bar should be slightly marked by the dancers4 #ast beat4--,slide left foot backwards1 towards the left4 #bnd beat4--,slide your right foot past your left in same direction1 keeping right foot behind left1 and turning slightly to the right4 #crd beat4--,bring left foot up behind right 7one bar74 #ast beat4--,slide right foot forward towards the right4 #bnd beat4--,slide left foot forward1 still turning towards right4 #crd beat4--,bring right foot up to right1 turning on both feet1 so as to complete the circle 7two bars74 ,remember to finish with right foot in front4 ,repeat from first beat of first bar4 ,gentleman always turns from left to right2 lady from right to left4 ,the step of the old ,waltz is simple enough2 nevertheless some practice is required to dance it really well4 ,remember always to slide1 not to step1 forward2 for the beauty of this valse consists in its gliding motion4 ,it is not at first easy to dance swiftly and quietly at the same time2 but a little patience will soon enable you to conquer that difficulty1 and to do full justice to what is1 in our opinion1 the most perfectly graceful of all the round dances1 without a single exception4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xviii4--,,the ,,valse ,,deux ,,temps4 ,we are indebted to the mirth-loving capital of ,austria for this brilliant ,valse1 which was1 as we have observed elsewhere1 introduced to our notice shortly before the ,polka appeared in ,england1 and owed its popularity to the revolution in public taste effected by that dance4 ,although the ,polka has gone out of fashion1 the ,valse ,deux ,temps still reigns supreme2 but within the last two years a dangerous rival has arisen1 which may perhaps drive it in its turn from the prominent position which1 for more than twenty seasons1 it has maintained4 ,this rival is the ,new ,valse1 of which we shall speak in its place2 but we must now describe the step of the ,valse ,deux ,temps4 ,we have already remarked that this ,valse is incorrect in time4 ,two steps can never properly be made to occupy the space of three beats in the music4 ,the ear requires that each beat shall have its step2 unless1 as in the ,cellarius1 an express pause be made on one beat4 ,this inaccuracy in the measure has exposed the ,valse ,deux ,temps to the just censure of musicians1 but has never interfered with its success among dancers4 ,we must caution our readers1 however1 against one mistake often made by the inexperienced4 ,they imagine that it is unnecessary to observe any rule of time in this dance1 and are perfectly careless whether they begin the step at the beginning1 end1 or middle of the bar4 ,this is quite inadmissible4 ,every bar must contain within its three beats two steps4 ,these steps must begin and end strictly with the beginning and end of each bar2 otherwise a hopeless confusion of the measure will ensue4 ,precision in this matter is the more requisite1 because of the peculiarity in the measure4 ,if the first step in each bar be not strongly marked1 the valse measure has no chance of making itself apparent2 and the dance becomes a meaningless galop4 ,the step contains two movements1 a glissade and a chassez1 following each other quickly in the same direction4 ,gentleman begins as usual with his left foot2 lady with her right4 #ast beat4--,glissade to the left with left foot4 #bnd and #crd beats4--,chassez in the same direction with right foot2 do not turn in this first bar4 #bnd bar1 #ast beat4--,slide right foot backwards1 turning half round4 #bnd and #crd beat4--,pass left foot behind right1 and chassez forward with it1 turning half round to complete the figure en tournant4 ,finish with right foot in front1 and begin over again with left foot4 ,there is no variation in this step2 but you can vary the movement by going backwards or forwards at pleasure1 instead of continuing the rotatory motion4 ,the ,valse ,deux ,temps1 like the ,polka1 admits of a reverse step2 but it is difficult1 and looks awkward unless executed to perfection4 ,the first requisite in this ,valse is to avoid all jumping movements4 ,the feet must glide smoothly and swiftly over the floor1 and be raised from it as little as possible4 ,being so very quick a dance1 it must be performed quietly1 otherwise it is liable to become ungraceful and vulgar4 ,the steps should be short1 and the knees slightly bent4 ,as the movement is necessarily very rapid1 the danger of collisions is proportionately increased2 and gentlemen will do well to remember and act upon the cautions contained in the previous pages of this book1 under the head of ,the ,polka4 ,they should also be scrupulous not to attempt to conduct a lady through this ,valse until they have thoroughly mastered the step and well practised the figure en tournant4 ,awkwardness or inexperience doubles the risks of a collision2 which1 in this extremely rapid dance1 might be attended with serious consequences4 ,the ,deux ,temps is a somewhat fatiguing valse1 and after two or three turns round the room1 the gentleman should pause to allow his partner to rest4 ,he should be careful to select a lady whose height does not present too striking a contrast to his own2 for it looks ridiculous to see a tall man dancing with a short woman1 or vice vers4 ,this observation applies to all round dances1 but especially to the valse1 in any of its forms4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xix4--,,the ,,new ,,valse4 ,this graceful variation of the valse movement has not long been introduced into ,england1 and is not yet so universally popular as it promises to become4 ,it was1 however1 much danced in ,london last year1 and there is reason to believe that it will be the favourite dance this season4 ,it is more elegant than the ,valse ,deux ,temps1 and more spirited than the ,cellarius4 ,the tempo is slower than that of the ordinary valse4 ,the step is extremely simple4 ,gentleman takes his partner as for the ,valse ,deux ,temps4 ,fall on the left foot1 and make two glissades with the right 7#ast bar74 ,repeat1 reversing order of feet 7#bnd bar74 ,lady begins with her right foot as usual4 ,the step is the same throughout4 ,figure en tournant4 ,the peculiarity of this ,valse lies in its accent1 which cannot be properly explained in words1 but must be seen to be understood4 ,we recommend our readers to lose no time in acquiring a correct knowledge of the ,new ,valse4 ,it is unquestionably the most easy and most graceful dance which has appeared of late years1 and we are told on first-rate authority that it is destined to a long career of triumphs4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xx4--,,le ,,galop4 ,the ,galop1 as its name implies1 is the quintessence of all the fast dances4 ,at the time of the ,polka mania it was very much in vogue1 and was almost as great a favourite as the ,deux ,temps4 ,although its popularity has greatly declined of late1 it generally occurs twice or thrice in the programme of every ball-room2 and the music of the ,galop is1 like the dance itself1 so gay and spirited1 that we should regret to see it wholly laid aside4 ,the step is similar to that of the ,deux ,temps ,valse1 but the time is #b_/d1 and as quick as possible4 ,two chassez steps are made in each bar4 ,the figure can be varied by taking four or eight steps in the same direction1 or by turning with every two steps1 as in the ,deux ,temps4 ,like all round dances1 it admits of an unlimited number of couples4 ,being1 perhaps1 the most easy of any1 every one takes part in it1 and the room is generally crowded during its continuance4 ,a special amount of care is therefore necessary on the part of the gentleman to protect his partner from accidents4 ,we have now described all the round dances at present in vogue4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xxi4--,,the ,,cotillon4 ,the ,cotillon is rarely seen in ,english ball-rooms1 but on the ,continent1 especially in ,italy1 it is a great favourite4 ,it occupies a somewhat similar position to our own ,sir ,roger de ,coverley1 being generally the concluding dance of the evening1 in which every one joins4 ,it can be prolonged at pleasure by the introduction of more figures1 for it has no definite beginning or end4 ,it is1 in fact1 more like a long game performed to the accompaniment of valse music than a dance4 ,we shall describe the ,cotillon as we have seen it in the palaces of ,italy1 where it is danced with enthusiasm1 and diversified by an innumerable variety of figures1 only a few of which we can undertake to remember4 ,it is never commenced till towards the close of the ball1 at so advanced an hour that all the sober portion of the assembly have retired1 and only the real lovers of dancing remain1 who sometimes prolong this their favourite amusement till a late hour in the morning4 ,it is customary for gentlemen to select their partners for the ,cotillon early in the evening1 while the other dances are in progress2 for1 as it lasts so long a time1 it is necessary to know beforehand how many ladies feel inclined to remain during its continuance4 ,a circle of chairs is arranged round the room1 the centre being left clear2 the spectators stand behind the chairs1 so as not to interfere with the dancers4 ,each gentleman leads his partner to a seat1 taking another beside her4 ,to these same seats they return after every figure1 it being the etiquette of the dance that no couple should appropriate any chairs but their own1 taken at the commencement4 ,when the dancers are arranged round the room1 the orchestra strikes up the spirited music of the ,cotillon1 which consists of a long series of valse movements at the usual tempo of the ,deux ,temps4 ,there are generally several leaders of the ,cotillon1 who decide upon the succession of the figures4 ,if there are many couples dancing1 one leader attends upon a group of six or eight couples1 to ensure that all shall take part4 ,we are aware of no fixed rule for the succession of the figures1 which depends upon the caprice of the leaders4 ,a good leader will invent new combinations1 or diversify old figures2 thus securing an almost endless variety4 ,one of the most popular is the following3-- ,several gentlemen assume the names of flowers or plants1 such as the honeysuckle1 woodbine1 ivy1 c4 ,a lady is then requested to name her favourite flower2 and the fortunate swain who bears its name springs forward and valses off with her in triumph4 ,it is usual to make one1 or at most two1 turns round the room1 and then restore the lady to her own partner1 who in the meantime has perhaps been the chosen one of another lady4 ,all having regained their places1 each gentleman valses with his own partner once round the room1 or remains sitting by her side1 as she may feel inclined4 ,baskets filled with small bouquets are brought in4 ,each gentleman provides himself with a bouquet1 and presents it to the lady with whom he wishes to valse4 ,sometimes a light pole or staff is introduced1 to the top of which are attached long streamers of different coloured ribbons4 ,a lady takes one of these to several of her fair companions in turn1 each of whom chooses a ribbon1 and1 holding it firmly in her hand1 follows the leading lady to the room4 ,here they are met by an equal number of gentlemen1 likewise grouped around a leader who carries the pole1 while each holds a streamer of his favourite colour1 or that which he imagines would be selected by the dame de ses penses4 ,the merry groups compare notes3 those who possess streamers of the same colour pair off in couples1 and valse gaily round the room1 returning to places as before4 ,six or eight ladies and the same number of gentlemen form in two lines1 facing each other4 ,the leading lady throws a soft worsted ball of bright colours at the gentleman with whom she wishes to dance4 ,he catches it1 throws it back to the fair group1 and valses off with his partner4 ,whoever catches the returning ball1 has the right to throw next2 and the same ceremony is repeated until all have chosen their partners1 with whom they valse round the room1 returning to places as usual4 ,sometimes a handkerchief is substituted for the ball2 but the latter is better1 being more easily thrown and caught4 ,six or eight chairs are placed in a circle1 the backs turned inwards4 ,ladies seat themselves in the chairs1 gentlemen move slowly round in front of them4 ,each lady throws her handkerchief or bouquet at the gentleman with whom she wishes to dance as he passes before her4 ,valse round as usual and return to places4 ,sometimes a gentleman is blindfolded1 and placed in a chair4 ,two ladies take a seat on either side of him2 and he is bound to make his selection without seeing the face of his partner4 ,having done so1 he pulls the covering from his eyes1 and valses off with her4 ,it is a curious circumstance that mistakes seldom occur1 the gentleman being generally sufficiently clairvoyant to secure the partner he desires4 ,we have here described a few of the most striking figures of the ,cotillon4 ,we might multiply them to an extent which would equally tax the patience of our readers and our own powers of remembrance2 but we forbear4 ,enough has been told to show the graceful1 coquettish character of the dance1 which adapts itself admirably to the ,italian nature1 and is as much beloved by them as the ,valse by the ,germans or the ,cachucha by the dark-eyed maidens of ,spain4 ,we should rejoice to see this charming stranger naturalised in ,english ball-rooms4 ,it is especially adapted to sociable gatherings1 where most of the guests are friends or acquaintances4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xxii4--,,the ,,spanish ,,dance4 ,this pretty though now somewhat old-fashioned dance was1 before the introduction of the ,deux ,temps and ,polka1 a principal feature in every ball-room4 ,it is danced with the step and music of the ,old ,valse ,trois ,temps1 played slower than the music of the ,deux ,temps4 ,sometimes the couples stand in two long parallel lines1 as in a country dance2 sometimes they are arranged in a circle4 ,the leading gentleman must be on the ladies' side1 and his partner on the gentleman's side4 ,every fourth lady and gentleman exchange places1 to avoid the necessity of keeping the other couples waiting4 ,the whole set can thus begin at the same moment4 ,leading gentleman and second lady advance and retreat with ,valse step1 and change places4 ,leading lady and second gentleman do the same at the same time4 ,leading gentleman and his partner advance and retreat1 and change places4 ,second lady and gentleman do the same at same time4 ,leading gentleman and second lady repeat this figure2 first lady and second gentleman likewise1 at same time4 ,leading gentleman and first lady repeat same figure2 second gentleman and lady repeat at same time4 ,all four1 joining hands1 advance to centre1 and retreat4 ,ladies pass to the left4 ,repeat three times4 ,each gentleman takes his partner1 and the two couples valse round each other once or twice at pleasure2 the second lady and gentleman being left at the top of the figure1 as in a country dance4 ,leading gentleman and partner repeat same figure with succeeding couple to end of dance4 ,it is obvious that there must be an equal number of couples2 and that they must be arranged in sets of four1 eight1 sixteen1 twenty1 twenty-four1 and so on4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xxiii4--,,la ,,temp,,te4 ,la ,tempte was brought over to this country from ,paris some years ago4 ,it speedily became a favourite1 and for several seasons was much danced in ,london and the provinces4 ,it unites the cheerfulness of the quadrille with the sociability of the country dance2 and when its lively figures are correctly performed1 it is both amusing and animated4 ,it is divided into parties of four couples1 like the quadrille2 but their arrangement is different4 ,two couples stand side by side1 facing their respective vis--vis2 there are not any side couples4 ,as many sets of four couples can be thus arranged as the room will accommodate4 ,each new set turns its back upon the second line of the preceding set4 ,thus the dance can be the whole length of the room1 but is only the breadth of two couples4 ,the figure is as follows3-- ,place two couples side by side1 the lady standing at the right hand of the gentleman4 ,place two other couples as their vis--vis4 ,next place two couples with their backs turned to the first set2 two couples opposite them for their vis--vis2 and continue arranging more sets of four couples according to the number of the dancers and the size of the room4 ,first part4--,all the couples begin at the same moment1 by advancing and retreating twice1 with joined hands4 ,first couples 7that is1 all whose backs are turned to the top of the room7 cross1 with hands joined1 to the places of their vis--vis4 ,the latter cross at the same time1 but1 separating1 pass outside top couples to the top1 where they join hands1 return to own places1 and back again to the top without separating2 the top couples crossing separately at the same time outside the second couples4 ,top couples then join hands1 and all return to their own places1 second couples separating to allow the others to pass between them4 ,lady and gentleman in the centre of each line join hands1 giving their disengaged hands to their two vis--vis4 ,all four half round to the left1 then half round back again to places4 ,meantime1 the outside lady and gentleman perform the same with their respective vis--vis1 making a circle of two instead of four4 ,circle of four give hands across round2 change hands2 round once more1 and back to places4 ,outside couples perform same figure in twos4 ,all the sets perform the figure at the same moment4 ,second part4--,all advance1 retreat1 and advance again2 all the top couples passing the second couples into the next line1 where they re-commence the same figure1 their former vis--vis having passed to the top1 and turned round to wait for a fresh vis--vis2 gentleman always keeping lady at his right hand4 ,an entire change of places is thus effected1 which is continued throughout this figure1 until all the top lines have passed to the bottom1 the bottom lines at the same time passing to the top2 and then turning round1 all go back again by the same method reversed1 till all have regained their original places4 ,the dance may terminate here1 or the last figure may be repeated1 at pleasure4 ,when the first exchange of vis--vis takes place1 the new lines at the top and bottom find themselves for a moment without a vis--vis2 but1 at the next move forward1 they are provided1 and can continue the figure as above described4 ,we extract from a contemporary the following graceful variation in the first half of this dance3--,all advance and retire twice 7hands joined74 ,all vis--vis couples chassez croisez en double1 each gentleman retaining his partner's left hand2 eight galop steps 7four bars72 dchassez eight steps 7four steps71 the couple on the right of the top line passing in front of the couple on the left the first time1 returning to place1 passing behind4 ,thus1 two couples are moving to the right1 and two to the left4 ,this is repeated4 ,the vis--vis couples do likewise at the same time4 ,this of course applies to all the couples1 as all commence at the same time4 ,la ,tempte is danced to quick music1 in #b_/d time4 ,the steps are the same as in quadrilles2 varied sometimes by the introduction of the galop step1 when the couples cross to each others' places or advance into the lines of the next set4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,xxiv4--,,sir ,,roger ,,de ,,coverley4 ,we conclude our account of the dances now most in vogue with an old-fashioned favourite1 whose popularity dates from a bygone age1 and bids fair to survive the present one4 ,long may its cheerful rustic strains be heard in our ball-rooms1 and prove we have not grown too fine or too foolish to take pleasure in the simple dances of our ancestors4 ,sir ,roger de ,coverley is always introduced at the end of the evening2 and no dance could be so well fitted to send the guests home in good humour with each other and with their hosts4 ,we describe it as it is danced in the present day1 slightly modernised to suit the taste of our time4 ,like the quadrille1 it can be danced with equal propriety by old or young2 and is so easy1 that the most inexperienced dancer may fearlessly venture to take part in it4 ,form in two parallel lines2 ladies on the left1 gentlemen on the right1 facing their partners4 ,all advance2 retreat 7which occupies the first four bars72 cross to opposite places 7four bars more72 advance and retreat 7four bars72 re-cross to places 7four bars74 ,the lady who stands at the top1 and the gentleman who stands at the bottom1 of each line1 advance towards each other1 courtesy and bow1 and retire to places4 ,the gentleman at the top and the lady at the bottom do the same4 ,lady at top and gentleman at bottom advance again1 give right hands1 and swing quickly round each other back to places4 ,gentleman at top and lady at bottom do the same4 ,top lady advances1 gives right hand to partner opposite1 and passes behind the two gentlemen standing next to him4 ,then through the line and across it1 giving left hand to partner1 who meets her half way between the two lines1 having in the meantime passed behind the two ladies who stood next his partner4 ,lady then passes behind the two ladies next lowest2 gentleman at same time behind the two gentlemen next lowest2 and so on all down the line4 ,at the bottom1 lady gives left hand to her partner1 and they promenade back to places at the top of the line4 7,this figure is frequently omitted47 ,top couple advance1 courtesy and bow1 then lady turns off to the right1 gentleman to the left1 each followed by the rest of her or his line4 ,top couple meet at the bottom of figure1 join hands1 and1 raising their arms1 let all the other couples pass under them towards the top of the line1 till all reach their own places1 except the top1 who have now become the bottom couple4 ,figure is repeated from the beginning1 until the top couple have once more worked their way back to their original places at the top of the line4 99 99 99 99 99 ,glossary ,throughout the ,ball-room ,guide we have endeavoured to avoid as much as possible the rise of ,french words1 and to give our directions in the plain mother tongue4 ,nevertheless there must always be certain technical terms1 such as chassez croisez1 glissade1 c41 c41 for which it would be difficult to find good ,english equivalents4 ,we therefore subjoin a ,glossary of all such words and expressions as have long since been universally accepted as the accredited phraseology of the ,ball-room4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a vos places1 back to your own places4 ,a la fin1 at the end4 ,a droite1 to the right4 ,a gauche1 to the left4 ,balancez1 set to your partners4 ,balancez aux coins1 set to the corners4 ,balancez quatre en ligne1 four dancers set in a line1 joining hands1 as in ,la ,poule4 ,balancez en moulinet1 gentlemen and their partners give each other right hands across1 and balancez in the form of a cross4 ,balancez et tour des mains1 all set to partners1 and turn to places4 7,see ,tour des mains47 ,ballotez1 do the same step four times without changing your place4 ,chaine ,anglaise1 opposite couples right and left4 ,chaine des dames1 ladies' chain4 ,chaine ,anglaise double1 double right and left4 ,chaine des dames double1 all the ladies perform the ladies' chain at the same time4 ,chassez croisez1 do the chass step from left to right1 or right to left1 the lady passing before the gentleman in the opposite direction1 that is1 moving right if he moves left1 and vice vers4 ,chassez croisez et dchassez1 change places with partners1 ladies passing in front1 first to the right1 then to the left1 back to places4 ,it may be either quatre four couples--or les huit--eight couples4 ,chassez droite-- gauche1 move to the right--to the left4 ,le cavalier seul1 gentleman advances alone4 ,les cavaliers seuls deux fois1 gentlemen advance and retire twice without their partners4 ,changez vos dames1 change partners4 ,contre partie pour les autres1 the other dancers do the same figure4 ,demi promenade1 half promenade4 ,demi chaine ,anglaise1 half right and left4 ,demi moulinet1 ladies all advance to centre1 right hands across1 and back to places4 ,demi tour quatre1 four hands half round4 ,dos--dos1 lady and opposite gentleman advance1 pass round each other back to back1 and return to places4 ,les dames en moulinet1 ladies give right hands across to each other1 half round1 and back again with left hands4 ,les dames donnent la main droite--gauche-- leurs cavaliers1 ladies give the right--left--hands to partners4 ,en avant deux et en arrire2 first lady and vis--vis gentleman advance and retire4 ,to secure brevity1 en avant is always understood to imply en arrire when the latter is not expressed4 ,en avant deux fois1 advance and retreat twice4 ,en avant quatre1 first couple and their vis--vis advance and retire4 ,en avant trois1 three advance and retire1 as in ,la ,pastorale4 ,figurez devant1 dance before4 ,figurez droite-- gauche1 dance to the right--to the left4 ,la grande tour de rond1 all join hands and dance1 completely round the figure in a circle back to places4 ,le grand rond1 all join hands1 and advance and retreat twice1 as in ,la ,finale4 ,le grand quatre1 all eight couples form into squares4 ,la grande chaine1 all the couples move quite round the figure1 giving alternately the right and left hand to each in succession1 beginning with the right1 until all have regained their places1 as in last figure of the ,lancers4 ,la grande promenade1 all eight 7or more7 couples promenade all round the figure back to places4 ,la main1 the hand4 ,la meme pour les cavaliers1 gentlemen do the same4 ,le moulinet1 hands across4 ,the figure will explain whether it is the gentlemen1 or the ladies1 or both1 who are to perform it4 ,pas d',allemande1 the gentleman turns his partner under each arm in succession4 ,pas de ,basque1 a kind of sliding step forward1 performed with both feet alternately in quick succession4 ,used in the ,redowa and other dances4 ,comes from the ,south of ,france4 ,glissade1 a sliding step4 ,le ,tiroir1 first couple cross with hands joined to opposite couple's place1 opposite couple crossing separately outside them2 then cross back to places1 same figure reversed4 ,tour des mains1 give both hands to partner1 and turn her round without quitting your places4 ,tour sur place1 the same4 ,tournez vos dames1 the same4 ,tour aux coins1 turn at the corners1 as in the ,caledonians1 each gentleman turning the lady who stands nearest his left hand1 and immediately returning to his own place4 ,traversez1 cross over to opposite place ,retraversez1 cross back again4 ,traversez deux1 en dormant la main droite1 lady and vis--vis gentleman cross1 giving right hand1 as in ,la ,poule4 ,vis--vis1 opposite4 ,figure en tournant1 circular figure4 ,etiquette of ,courtship and ,matrimony 99 99 99 99 99 ,i4--,,first ,,steps ,,in ,,courtship4 ,it would be out of place in these pages to grapple with a subject so large as that of ,love in its varied phases3 a theme that must be left to poets1 novelists1 and moralists to dilate upon4 ,it is sufficient for our purpose to recognize the existence of this the most universal--the most powerful--of human passions1 when venturing to offer our counsel and guidance to those of both sexes who1 under its promptings1 have resolved to become votaries of ,hymen1 but who1 from imperfect knowledge of conventional usages1 are naturally apprehensive that at every step they take1 they may render themselves liable to misconception1 ridicule1 or censure4 ,we will take it for granted1 then1 that a gentleman has in one way or another become fascinated by a fair lady--possibly a recent acquaintance--whom he is most anxious to know more particularly4 ,his heart already feels the inly touch of love1 and his most ardent wish is to have that love returned4 ,at this point we venture to give him a word of serious advice4 ,we urge him1 before he ventures to take any step towards the pursuit of this object1 to consider well his position and prospects in life1 and reflect whether they are such as to justify him in deliberately seeking to win the young lady's affections1 with the view of making her his wife at no distant period4 ,should he after such a review of his affairs feel satisfied that he can proceed honourably1 he may then use fair opportunities to ascertain the estimation in which the young lady1 as well as her family1 is held by friends4 ,it is perhaps needless to add1 that all possible delicacy and caution must be observed in making such inquiries1 so as to avoid compromising the lady herself in the slightest degree4 ,when he has satisfied himself on this head1 and found no insurmountable impediment in his way1 his next endeavour will be1 through the mediation of a common friend1 to procure an introduction to the lady's family4 ,those who undertake such an office incur no slight responsibility1 and are1 of course1 expected to be scrupulously careful in performing it1 and to communicate all they happen to know affecting the character and circumstances of the individual they introduce4 ,we will now reverse the picture1 and see how matters stand on the fair one's side4 ,first let us hope that the inclination is mutual2 at all events1 that the lady views her admirer with preference1 that she deems him not unworthy of her favourable regard1 and that his attentions are agreeable to her4 ,it is true her heart may not yet be won3 she has to be wooed2 and what fair daughter of ,eve has not hailed with rapture that brightest day in the springtide of her life8 ,she has probably first met the gentleman at a ball1 or other festive occasion1 where the excitement of the scene has reflected on every object around a roseate tint4 ,we are to suppose1 of course1 that in looks1 manner1 and address1 her incipient admirer is not below her ideal standard in gentlemanly attributes4 ,his respectful approaches to her--in soliciting her hand as a partner in the dance1 c4--have first awakened on her part a slight feeling of interest towards him4 ,this mutual feeling of interest1 once established1 soon grows by what it feeds on4 ,the exaltation of the whole scene favours its development1 and it can hardly be wondered at if both parties leave judgment out in the cold while enjoying each other's society1 and possibly already pleasantly occupied in building castles in the air4 ,whatever may eventually come of it1 the fair one is conscious for the nonce of being unusually happy4 ,this emotion is not likely to be diminished when she finds herself the object of general attention--accompanied1 it may be1 by the display of a little envy among rival beauties--owing to the assiduous homage of her admirer4 ,at length1 prudence whispers that he is to her1 as yet1 but a comparative stranger2 and with a modest reserve she endeavours to retire from his observation1 so as not to seem to encourage his attentions4 ,the gentleman's ardour1 however1 is not to be thus checked2 he again solicits her to be his partner in a dance4 ,she finds it hard1 very hard1 to refuse him2 and both1 yielding at last to the alluring influences by which they are surrounded1 discover at the moment of parting that a new and delightful sensation has been awakened in their hearts4 ,at a juncture so critical in the life of a young inexperienced woman as that when she begins to form an attachment for one of the opposite sex--at a moment when she needs the very best advice accompanied with a considerate regard for her overwrought feelings--the very best course she can take is to confide the secret of her heart to that truest and most loving of friends--her mother4 ,fortunate is the daughter who has not been deprived of that wisest and tenderest of counsellors--whose experience of life1 whose prudence and sagacity1 whose anxious care and appreciation of her child's sentiments1 and whose awakened recollections of her own trysting days1 qualify and entitle her above all other beings to counsel and comfort her trusting child1 and to claim her confidence4 ,let the timid girl then pour forth into her mother's ear the flood of her pent-up feelings4 ,let her endeavour to distrust her own judgment1 and seek hope1 guidance1 and support from one who1 she well knows1 will not deceive or mislead her4 ,the confidence thus established will be productive of the most beneficial results--by securing the daughter's obedience to her parent's advice1 and her willing adoption of the observances prescribed by etiquette1 which1 as the courtship progresses1 that parent will not fail to recommend as strictly essential in this phase of life4 ,where a young woman has had the misfortune to be deprived of her mother1 she should at such a period endeavour to find her next best counsellor in some female relative1 or other trustworthy friend4 ,we are to suppose that favourable opportunities for meeting have occurred1 until1 by-and-by1 both the lady and her admirer have come to regard each other with such warm feelings of inclination as to have a constant craving for each other's society4 ,other eyes have in the meantime not failed to notice the symptoms of a growing attachment2 and some kind friends have1 no doubt1 even set them down as already engaged4 ,the admirer of the fair one is1 indeed1 so much enamoured as to be unable longer to retain his secret within his own breast2 and1 not being without hope that his attachment is reciprocated1 resolves on seeking an introduction to the lady's family preparatory to his making a formal declaration of love4 ,it is possible1 however1 that the lover's endeavours to procure the desired introduction may fail of success1 although1 where no material difference of social position exists1 this difficulty will be found to occur less frequently than might at first be supposed4 ,he must then discreetly adopt measures to bring himself in some degree under the fair one's notice3 such1 for instance1 as attending the place of worship which she frequents1 meeting her1 so often as to be manifestly for the purpose1 in the course of her promenades1 c4 ,he will thus soon be able to judge--even without speaking to the lady--whether his further attentions will be distasteful to her4 ,the signs of this on the lady's part1 though of the most trifling nature1 and in no way compromising her1 will be unmistakeable2 for1 as the poet tells us in speaking of the sex3-- ,he gave them but one tongue to say us ',nay1' ,and two fond eyes to grant6 ,should her demeanour be decidedly discouraging1 any perseverance on his part would be ungentlemanly and highly indecorous4 ,but1 on the other hand1 should a timid blush intimate doubt1 or a gentle smile lurking in the half-dropped eye give pleasing challenge to further parley when possible1 he may venture to write--not to the lady--that would be the opening of a clandestine correspondence1 an unworthy course where every act should be open and straightforward1 as tending to manly and honourable ends--but1 to the father or guardian1 through the agency of a common friend where feasible2 or1 in some instances1 to the party at whose residence the lady may be staying4 ,in his letter he ought first to state his position in life and prospects1 as well as mention his family connections2 and then to request permission to visit the family1 as a preliminary step to paying his addresses to the object of his admiration4 ,by this course he in nowise compromises either himself or the lady2 but leaves open to both1 at any future period1 an opportunity of retiring from the position of courtship taken up on the one side1 and of receiving addresses on the other1 without laying either party open to the accusation of fickleness or jilting4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ii4--,,etiquette ,,of ,,courtship4 ,in whatever way the attachment may have originated1 whether resulting from old association or from a recent acquaintanceship between the lovers1 we will assume that the courtship is so far in a favourable train that the lady's admirer has succeeded in obtaining an introduction to her family1 and that he is about to be received in their domestic circle on the footing of a welcome visitor1 if not yet in the light of a probationary suitor4 ,in the first case1 matters will in all probability be found to amble on so calmly1 that the enamoured pair may seldom find it needful to consult the rules of etiquette2 but in the latter1 its rules must be attentively observed1 or the course of true love will assuredly not run smooth4 ,if the gentleman be a person of good breeding and right feeling1 he will need no caution from us to remember that1 when he is admitted into the heart of a family as the suitor of a daughter1 he is receiving one of the greatest possible favours that can be conferred on him1 whatever may be his own superiority of social rank or worldly circumstances2 and that1 therefore1 his conduct should be marked by a delicate respect towards the parents of his lady-love4 ,by this means he will propitiate them in his favour1 and induce them to regard him as worthy of the trust they have placed in him4 ,young people are naturally prone to seek the company of those they love2 and as their impulses are often at such times impatient of control1 etiquette prescribes cautionary rules for the purpose of averting the mischief that unchecked intercourse and incautious familiarity might give rise to4 ,for instance1 a couple known to be attached to each other should never1 unless when old acquaintances1 be left alone for any length of time1 nor be allowed to meet in any other place than the lady's home--particularly at balls1 concerts1 and other public places--except in the presence of a third party4 ,this1 as a general rule1 should be carefully observed1 although exceptions may occasionally occur under special circumstances2 but even then the full consent of the lady's nearest relatives or guardians should be previously obtained4 ,what the ,lady should observe during ,courtship4 ,a lady should be particular during the early days of courtship--while still retaining some clearness of mental vision--to observe the manner in which her suitor comports himself to other ladies4 ,if he behave with ease and courtesy1 without freedom or the slightest approach to licence in manner or conversation2 if he never speak slightingly of the sex1 and be ever ready to honour its virtues and defend its weakness2 she may continue to incline towards him a willing ear4 ,his habits and his conduct must awaken her vigilant attention before it be too late4 ,should he come to visit her at irregular hours2 should he exhibit a vague or wandering attention--give proofs of a want of punctuality--show disrespect for age--sneer at things sacred1 or absent himself from regular attendance at divine service--or evince an inclination to expensive pleasures beyond his means1 or to low and vulgar amusements2 should he be foppish1 eccentric1 or very slovenly in his dress2 or display a frivolity of mind1 and an absence of well-directed energy in his worldly pursuits2 let the young lady1 we say1 while there is yet time1 eschew that gentleman's acquaintance1 and allow it gently to drop4 ,the effort1 at whatever cost to her feelings1 must be made1 if she have any regard for her future happiness and self-respect4 ,the proper course then to take is to intimate her distaste1 and the causes that have given rise to it1 to her parents or guardian1 who will be pretty sure to sympathise with her1 and to take measures for facilitating the retirement of the gentleman from his pretensions4 ,what the ,gentleman should observe during ,courtship4 ,it would be well also for the suitor1 on his part1 during the first few weeks of courtship1 carefully to observe the conduct of the young lady in her own family1 and the degree of estimation in which she is held by them1 as well as amongst her intimate friends4 ,if she be attentive to her duties2 respectful and affectionate to her parents2 kind and forbearing to her brothers and sisters2 not easily ruffled in temper2 if her mind be prone to cheerfulness and to hopeful aspiration1 instead of to the display of a morbid anxiety and dread of coming evil2 if her pleasures and enjoyments be those which chiefly centre in home2 if her words be characterised by benevolence1 goodwill1 and charity3 then we say1 let him not hesitate1 but hasten to enshrine so precious a gem in the casket of his affections4 ,but if1 on the other hand1 he should find that he has been attracted by the tricksome affectation and heartless allurements of a flirt1 ready to bestow smiles on all1 but with a heart for none2 if she who has succeeded for a time in fascinating him be of uneven temper1 easily provoked1 and slow to be appeased2 fond of showy dress1 and eager for admiration2 ecstatic about trifles1 frivolous in her tastes1 and weak and wavering in performing her duties2 if her religious observances are merely the formality of lip service2 if she be petulant to her friends1 pert and disrespectful to her parents1 overbearing to her inferiors2 if pride1 vanity1 and affectation be her characteristics2 if she be inconstant in her friendships2 gaudy and slovenly1 rather than neat and scrupulously clean1 in attire and personal habits3 then we counsel the gentleman to retire as speedily but as politely as possible from the pursuit of an object quite unworthy of his admiration and love2 nor dread that the lady's friends--who must know her better than he can do--will call him to account for withdrawing from the field4 ,but we will take it for granted that all goes on well2 that the parties are1 on sufficient acquaintance1 pleased with each other1 and that the gentleman is eager to prove the sincerity of his affectionate regard by giving some substantial token of his love and homage to the fair one4 ,this brings us to the question of ,presents1 a point on which certain observances of etiquette must not be disregarded4 ,a lady1 for instance1 cannot with propriety accept presents from a gentleman previously to his having made proposals of marriage4 ,she would by so doing incur an obligation at once embarrassing and unbecoming4 ,should1 however1 the gentleman insist on making her a present--as of some trifling article of jewellery1 c41--there must be no secret about it4 ,let the young lady take an early opportunity of saying to her admirer1 in the presence of her father or mother1 ,i am much obliged to you for that ring 7or other trinket1 as the case may be7 which you kindly offered me the other day1 and which ,i shall be most happy to accept1 if my parents do not object2 and let her say this in a manner which1 while it increases the obligation1 will divest it altogether of impropriety1 from having been conferred under the sanction of her parents4 ,we have now reached that stage1 in the progress of the courtship where budding affection1 having developed into mature growth1 encourages the lover to make ,the ,proposal4 ,when about to take this step1 the suitor's first difficulty is how to get a favourable opportunity2 and next1 having got the chance1 how to screw his courage up to give utterance to the declaration4 ,we have heard of a young lover who carried on a courtship for four months ere he could obtain a private interview with his lady-love4 ,in the house1 as might be expected1 they were never left alone2 and in a walk a third party always accompanied them4 ,in such a dilemma1 ought he to have unburdened his heart of its secret through the medium of a letter8 ,we say not4 ,a declaration in writing should certainly be avoided where the lover can by any possibility get at the lady's ear4 ,but there are cases where this is so difficult that an impatient lover cannot be restrained from adopting the agency of a billet-doux in declaring his passion4 ,the lady1 before proposal1 is generally prepared for it4 ,it is seldom that such an avowal comes without some previous indications of look and manner on the part of the admirer1 which can hardly fail of being understood4 ,she may not1 indeed1 consider herself engaged2 and1 although nearly certain of the conquest she has made1 may yet have her misgivings4 ,some gentlemen dread to ask1 lest they should be refused4 ,many pause just at the point1 and refrain from anything like ardour in their professions of attachment until they feel confident that they may be spared the mortification and ridicule that is supposed to attach to being rejected1 in addition to the pain of disappointed hope4 ,this hesitation when the mind is made up is wrong2 but it does often occur1 and we suppose ever will do so1 with persons of great timidity of character4 ,by it both parties are kept needlessly on the fret1 until the long-looked-for opportunity unexpectedly arrives1 when the flood-gates of feeling are loosened1 and the full tide of mutual affection gushes forth uncontrolled4 ,it is1 however1 at this moment--the agony-point to the embarrassed lover1 who doats yet doubts--whose suppressed feelings render him morbidly sensitive--that a lady should be especially careful lest any show of either prudery or coquetry on her part should lose to her for ever the object of her choice4 ,true love is generally delicate and timid1 and may easily be scared by affected indifference1 through feelings of wounded pride4 ,a lover needs very little to assure him of the reciprocation of his attachment3 a glance1 a single pressure of hand1 a whispered syllable on the part of the loved one1 will suffice to confirm his hopes4 ,refusal by the ,young ,lady4 ,when a lady rejects the proposal of a gentleman1 her behaviour should be characterised by the most delicate feeling towards one who1 in offering her his hand1 has proved his desire to confer upon her1 by this implied preference for her above all other women1 the greatest honour it is in his power to offer4 ,therefore1 if she have no love for him1 she ought at least to evince a tender regard for his feelings2 and1 in the event of her being previously engaged1 should at once acquaint him with the fact4 ,no right-minded man would desire to persist in a suit when he well knew that the object of his admiration has already disposed of her heart4 ,when a gentleman makes an offer of his hand by letter1 the letter must be answered1 and certainly not returned1 should the answer be a refusal2 unless1 indeed1 when1 from a previous repulse1 or some other particular and special circumstances1 such an offer may be regarded by the lady or her relatives as presumptuous and intrusive4 ,under such circumstances1 the letter may be placed by the lady in the hands of her parents or guardian1 to be dealt with by them as they may deem most advisable4 ,no woman of proper feeling would regard her rejection of an offer of marriage from a worthy man as a matter of triumph3 her feeling on such an occasion should be one of regretful sympathy with him for the pain she is unavoidably compelled to inflict4 ,nor should such1 a rejection be unaccompanied with some degree of self examination on her part1 to discern whether any lightness of demeanour or tendency to flirtation may have given rise to a false hope of her favouring his suit4 ,at all events1 no lady should ever treat the man who has so honoured her with the slightest disrespect or frivolous disregard1 nor ever unfeelingly parade a more favoured suitor before one whom she has refused4 ,conduct of the ,gentleman when his ,addresses are rejected4 ,the conduct of the gentleman under such distressing circumstances should be characterised by extreme delicacy and a chivalrous resolve to avoid occasioning any possible annoyance or uneasiness to the fair author of his pain4 ,if1 however1 he should have reason to suppose that his rejection has resulted from mere indifference to his suit1 he need not altogether retire from the field1 but may endeavour to kindle a feeling of regard and sympathy for the patient endurance of his disappointment1 and for his continued but respectful endeavours to please the lukewarm fair one4 ,but in the case of avowed or evident preference for another1 it becomes imperative upon him1 as a gentleman1 to withdraw at once1 and so relieve the lady of any obstacle that his presence or pretensions may occasion to the furtherance of her obvious wishes4 ,a pertinacious continuance of his attentions1 on the part of one who has been distinctly rejected1 is an insult deserving of the severest reprobation4 ,although the weakness of her sex1 which ought to be her protection1 frequently prevents a woman from forcibly breaking off an acquaintance thus annoyingly forced upon her1 she rarely fails to resent such impertinence by that sharpest of woman's weapons1 a keen-edged but courteous ridicule1 which few men can bear up against4 ,refusal by the ,lady's ,parents or ,guardians4 ,it may happen that both the lady and her suitor are willing2 but that the parents or guardians of the former1 on being referred to1 deem the connection unfitting1 and refuse their consent4 ,in this state of matters1 the first thing a man of sense1 proper feeling1 and candour should do1 is to endeavour to learn the objections of the parents1 to see whether they cannot be removed4 ,if they are based on his present insufficiency of means1 a lover of a persevering spirit may effect much in removing apprehension on that score1 by cheerfully submitting to a reasonable time of probation1 in the hope of amelioration in his worldly circumstances4 ,happiness delayed will be none the less precious when love has stood the test of constancy and the trial of time4 ,should the objection be founded on inequality of social position1 the parties1 if young1 may wait until matured age shall ripen their judgment and place the future more at their own disposal4 ,a clandestine marriage should be peremptorily declined4 ,in too many cases it is a fraud committed by an elder and more experienced party upon one whose ignorance of the world's ways and whose confiding tenderness appeal to him for protection even against himself4 ,in nearly all the instances we have known of such marriages1 the results proved the step to have been ill-judged1 imprudent1 and highly injurious to the reputation of one party1 and in the long run detrimental to the happiness of both4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iii--,,etiquette ,,of ,,an ,,engagement4 ,we will now regard the pair of lovers as formally engaged1 and bound together in that state of approximation to marriage which was in the ancient ,christian ,church1 and indeed is still in many countries of ,europe1 considered in a very sacred light1 little inferior to1 and1 in fact1 regarded as a part of1 marriage itself--the ,betrothment4 ,conduct of the ,engaged ,couple4 ,the conduct of the bridegroom-elect should be marked by a gallant and affectionate assiduity towards his lady-love--a dvouement easily felt and understood1 but not so easy to define4 ,that of the lady towards him should manifest delicacy1 tenderness1 and confidence2 while looking for his thorough devotion to herself1 she should not captiously take offence and show airs at his showing the same kind of attention to other ladies as she1 in her turn1 would not hesitate to receive from the other sex4 ,in the behaviour of a gentleman towards his betrothed in public1 little difference should be perceptible from his demeanour to other ladies1 except in those minute attentions which none but those who love can properly understand or appreciate4 ,in private1 the slightest approach to indecorous familiarity must be avoided2 indeed1 it is pretty certain to be resented by every woman who deserves to be a bride4 ,the lady's honour is now in her lover's hands1 and he should never forget in his demeanour to and before her that that lady is to be his future wife4 ,it is the privilege of the betrothed lover1 as it is also his duty1 to give advice to the fair one who now implicitly confides in him4 ,should he detect a fault1 should he observe failings which he would wish removed or amended1 let him avail himself of this season1 so favourable for the frank interchange of thought between the betrothed pair1 to urge their correction4 ,he will find a ready listener2 and any judicious counsel offered to her by him will now be gratefully received and remembered in after life4 ,after marriage it may be too late2 for advice on trivial points of conduct may then not improbably be resented by the wife as an unnecessary interference3 now1 the fair and loving creature is disposed like pliant wax in his hands to mould herself to his reasonable wishes in all things4 ,conduct of the ,lady during her ,betrothal4 ,a lady is not expected to keep aloof from society on her engagement1 nor to debar herself from the customary attentions and courtesies of her male acquaintances generally2 but she should1 while accepting them cheerfully1 maintain such a prudent reserve1 as to intimate that they are viewed by her as mere acts of ordinary courtesy and friendship4 ,in all places of public amusement--at balls1 the opera1 c4--for a lady to be seen with any other cavalier than her avowed lover in close attendance upon her would expose her to the imputation of flirtation4 ,she will naturally take pains at such a period to observe the taste of her lover in regard to her costume1 and strive carefully to follow it1 for all men desire to have their taste and wishes on such apparent trifles gratified4 ,she should at the same time observe much delicacy in regard to dress1 and be careful to avoid any unseemly display of her charms3 lovers are naturally jealous of observation under such circumstances4 ,it is a mistake not seldom made by women1 to suppose their suitors will be pleased by the glowing admiration expressed by other men for the object of their passion4 ,most lovers1 on the contrary1 we believe1 would prefer to withdraw their prize from general observation until the happy moment for their union has arrived4 ,conduct of the ,gentleman towards the ,family of his ,betrothed4 ,the lover1 having now secured his position1 should use discretion and tact in his intercourse with the lady's family1 and take care that his visits be not deemed too frequent--so as to be really inconvenient to them4 ,he should accommodate himself as much as possible to their habits and ways1 and be ever ready and attentive to consult their wishes4 ,marked attention1 and in most cases affectionate kindness1 to the lady's mother ought to be shown3 such respectful homage will secure for him many advantages in his present position4 ,he must not1 however1 presume to take his stand yet as a member of the family1 nor exhibit an obtrusive familiarity in manner and conversation4 ,should a disruption of the engagement from some unexpected cause ensue1 it is obvious that any such premature assumption would lead to very embarrassing results4 ,in short1 his conduct should be such as to win for himself the esteem and affection of all the family1 and dispose them ever to welcome and desire his presence1 rather than regard him as an intruder4 ,conduct of the ,lady on ,retiring from her ,engagement4 ,should this step unhappily be found necessary on the lady's part1 the truth should be spoken1 and the reasons frankly given3 there must be no room left for the suspicion of its having originated in caprice or injustice4 ,the case should be so put that the gentleman himself must see and acknowledge the justice of the painful decision arrived at4 ,incompatible habits1 ungentlemanly actions1 anything tending to diminish that respect for the lover which should be felt for the husband2 inconstancy1 ill-governed temper--all which1 not to mention other obvious objections--are to be considered as sufficient reasons for terminating an engagement4 ,the communication should be made as tenderly as possible3 room may be left in mere venial cases for reformation2 but all that is done must be so managed that not the slightest shadow of fickleness or want of faith may rest upon the character of the lady4 ,it must be remembered1 however1 that the termination of an engagement by a lady has the privilege of passing unchallenged1--a lady not being bound to declare any other reason than her will4 ,nevertheless she owes it to her own reputation that her decision should rest on a sufficient foundation1 and be unmistakably pronounced4 ,conduct of the ,gentleman on ,retiring from his ,engagement4 ,we hardly know how to approach this portion of our subject4 ,the reasons must be strong indeed that can sufficiently justify a man1 placed in the position of an accepted suitor1 in severing the ties by which he has bound himself to a lady with the avowed intention of making her his wife4 ,his reasons for breaking off his engagement must be such as will not merely satisfy his own conscience1 but will justify him in the eyes of the world4 ,if the fault be on the lady's side1 great reserve and delicacy will be observed by any man of honour4 ,if1 on the other hand1 the imperative force of circumstances1 such as loss of fortune1 or some other unexpected calamity to himself1 may be the cause1 then must the reason be clearly and fully explained1 in such a manner as to soothe the painful feelings which such a result must necessarily occasion to the lady and her friends4 ,it is scarcely necessary to point out the necessity for observing great caution in all that relates to the antecedents of an engagement that has been broken off2 especially the return on either side of presents and of all letters that have passed4 ,this last allusion brings us to the consideration of ,correspondence4 ,letter-writing is one great test of ability and cultivation1 as respects both sexes4 ,the imperfections of education may be to some extent concealed or glossed over in conversation1 but cannot fail to stand out conspicuously in a letter4 ,an ill-written letter infallibly betrays the vulgarity and ignorance indicative of a mean social position4 ,but there is something more to be guarded against than even bad writing and worse spelling in a correspondence3 saying too much--writing that kind of matter which will not bear to be read by other eyes than those for which it was originally intended4 ,that this is too frequently done is amply proved by the love letters often read in a court of law1 the most affecting passages from which occasion roars of laughter and the derisive comments of merry-making counsel4 ,occurrences of this kind prove how frequently letters are not returned or burnt when an affair of the heart is broken off4 ,correspondence between lovers should at all events be tempered with discretion2 and1 on the lady's part particularly1 her affectionate expressions should not degenerate into a silly style of fondness4 ,it is as well to remark here1 that in correspondence between a couple not actually engaged1 the use of ,christian names in addressing each other should be avoided4 ,demeanour of the ,suitor during ,courtship4 ,the manners of a gentleman are ever characterized by urbanity and a becoming consideration for the feelings and wishes of others1 and by a readiness to practise self-denial4 ,but the very nature of courtship requires the fullest exercise of these excellent qualities on his part4 ,the lover should carefully accommodate his tone and bearing1 whether cheerful or serious1 to the mood for the time of his lady-love1 whose slightest wish must be his law4 ,in his assiduities to her he must allow of no stint2 though hindered by time1 distance1 or fatigue1 he must strive to make his professional and social duties bend to his homage at the shrine of love4 ,all this can be done1 moreover1 by a man of excellent sense with perfect propriety4 ,indeed1 the world will not only commend him for such devoted gallantry1 but will be pretty sure to censure him for any short-coming in his performance of such devoirs4 ,it is1 perhaps1 needless to observe that at such a period a gentleman should be scrupulously neat1 without appearing particular1 in his attire4 ,we shall not attempt to prescribe what he should wear1 as that must1 of course1 depend on the times of the day when his visits are paid1 and other circumstances1 such as meeting a party of friends1 going to the theatre1 c41 with the lady4 ,should a ,courtship be ,short or ,long8 ,the answer to this question must depend on the previous acquaintanceship1 connection1 or relationship of the parties1 as well as on their present circumstances1 and the position of their parents4 ,in case of relationship or old acquaintanceship subsisting between the families1 when the courtship1 declaration1 and engagement have followed each other rapidly1 a short wooing is preferable to a long one1 should other circumstances not create an obstacle4 ,indeed1 as a general rule1 we are disposed strongly to recommend a short courtship4 ,a man is never well settled in the saddle of his fortunes until he be married4 ,he wants spring1 purpose1 and aim2 and1 above all1 he wants a home as the centre of his efforts4 ,some portion of inconvenience1 therefore1 may be risked to obtain this2 in fact1 it often occurs that by waiting too long the freshness of life is worn off1 and that the generous glow of early feelings becomes tamed down to lukewarmness by a too prudent delaying2 while a slight sacrifice of ambition or self-indulgence on the part of the gentleman1 and a little descent from pride of station on the lady's side1 might have ensured years of satisfied love and happy wedded life4 ,on the other hand1 we would recommend a long courtship as advisable when--the friends on both sides favouring the match--it happens that the fortune of neither party will prudently allow an immediate marriage4 ,the gentleman1 we will suppose1 has his way to make in his profession or business1 and is desirous not to involve the object of his affection in the distressing inconvenience1 if not the misery1 of straitened means4 ,he reflects that for a lady it is an actual degradation1 however love may ennoble the motive of her submission1 to descend from her former footing in society4 ,he feels1 therefore1 that this risk ought not to be incurred4 ,for1 although the noble and loving spirit of a wife might enable her to bear up cheerfully against misfortune1 and by her endearments soothe the broken spirit of her husband2 yet the lover who would wilfully1 at the outset of wedded life1 expose his devoted helpmate to the ordeal of poverty1 would be deservedly scouted as selfish and unworthy4 ,these1 then1 are among the circumstances which warrant a lengthened engagement1 and it should be the endeavour of the lady's friends to approve such cautious delay1 and do all they can to assist the lover in his efforts to abridge it4 ,the lady's father should regard the lover in the light of another son added to his family1 and spare no pains to promote his interests in life1 while the lady's mother should do everything in her power1 by those small attentions which a mother understands so well1 to make the protracted engagement agreeable to him1 and as endurable as possible to her daughter4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iv4--,,preliminary ,,etiquette ,,of ,a ,,wedding4 ,whether the term of courtship may have been long or short--according to the requirements of the case--the time will at last arrive for ,fixing the ,day4 ,while it is the gentleman's province to press for the earliest possible opportunity1 it is the lady's privilege to name the happy day2 not but that the bridegroom-elect must1 after all1 issue the fiat1 for he has much to consider and prepare for beforehand3 for instance1 to settle where it will be most convenient to spend the honeymoon--a point which must depend on the season of the year1 on his own vocation1 and other circumstances4 ,at this advanced state of affairs1 we must not overlook the important question of ,legal ,settlements4 ,these are matters that must be attended to where there is property on either side2 and it behoves the intending bridegroom to take care there is no unnecessary delay in completing them4 ,an occasional morning call in one of the ,inns of ,court at this period is often found to be necessary to hasten the usually sluggish pace of the legal fraternity4 ,on the business part of this matter it is not the province of our work to dilate2 but we may be permitted to suggest that two-thirds1 or at least one-half1 of the lady's property should be settled on herself and offspring2 and that where the bridegroom has no property wherewith to endow his wife1 and has solely to rely on his professional prospects1 it should be made a sine qu non that he should insure his life in her favour previously to marriage4 ,how to be ,married4 ,by this time the gentleman will have made up his mind in what form he will be married--a question1 the solution of which1 however1 must chiefly depend on his means and position in life4 ,he has his choice whether he will be married by ,,banns1 by ,,licence1 by ,,special ,,licence1 or before the ,registrar2 but woe betide the unlucky wight who should venture to suggest the last method to a young lady or her parents6 ,marriage by ,banns4 ,for this purpose1 notice must be given to the clerk of the parish or of the district church4 ,the names of the two parties must be written down in full1 with their conditions1 and the parishes in which they reside--as1 ,between ,a ,b1 of the parish of ,st4 ,george1 bachelor 7or widower1 as the case may be71 and ,c ,d1 of the parish of ,st4 ,george1 spinster 7or widow1 as the case may be74 ,no mention of either the lady's or gentleman's age is required4 ,where the lady and gentleman are of different parishes1 the banns must be published in each1 and a certificate of their publication in the one furnished to the clergyman who may marry the parties in the church of the other parish4 ,it seems singular1 albeit it is the fact1 that no evidence of consent by either party is necessary to this putting up of the banns1 as is it denominated2 indeed1 the publication of the banns is not unfrequently the first rural declaration of attachment1 so that the blushing village maiden sometimes finds herself announced as a bride-elect before she has received any actual declaration4 ,the clerk receives his fee of two shillings and makes no further inquiries2 nay1 more1 is prepared1 if required1 to provide the necessary fathers on each side1 in the respectable persons of himself and the sexton--the venerable pew-opener being also ready1 on a pinch1 to perform the part of bridesmaid4 ,the banns must be publicly read on three successive ,sundays in the church1 after the last of which1 if they so choose1 the happy pair may1 on the ,monday following1 be made one4 ,it is usual to give one day's previous notice to the clerk2 but this is not legally necessary1 it being the care of the ,church1 as well as the policy of the ,law1 to throw as few impediments as possible in the way of marriage1 of which the one main fact of a consent to live together1 declared publicly before an assemblage of relatives1 friends1 and neighbours 7and afterwards1 as it were by legal deduction1 before witnesses71 is the essential and constituent element4 ,marriage by banns1 except in the country districts1 is usually confined to the humbler classes of society4 ,this is to be regretted1 inasmuch as it is a more deliberate and solemn declaration1 and leaves the ceremony more free from the imputation of suddenness1 contrivance1 or fraud1 than any other form4 ,a marriage by banns1 it is understood1 can never be set aside by the after discovery of deception or concealment as respects residence1 and even names1 on either side4 ,the fees of a marriage by banns vary from #aas4 #f;d4 to #acs4 #f;d4 and #aes4 #f;d41 according to the parish or district wherein the marriage may take place4 ,hours in which ,marriages may be ,celebrated4 ,all marriages at church must be celebrated within canonical hours--that is1 between the hours of eight and twelve1 except in the case of special licence1 when the marriage may be celebrated at any hour1 or at any meet and proper place4 ,marriage by ,special ,licence4 ,by the ,statute of #bcrd ,henry ,,viii41 the ,archbishop of ,canterbury has power to grant special licences2 but in a certain sense these are limited4 ,his ,grace restricts his authority to ,peers and ,peeresses in their own right1 to their sons and daughters1 to ,dowager ,peeresses1 to ,privy ,councillors1 to ,judges of the ,courts at ,westminster1 to ,baronets and ,knights1 and to ,members of ,parliament2 and1 by an order of a former ,prelate1 to no other person is a special licence to be given1 unless they allege very strong and weighty reasons for such indulgence1 arising from particular circumstances of the case1 the truth of which must be proved to the satisfaction of the ,archbishop4 ,the application for a special licence is to be made to his ,grace through the proctor of the parties1 who1 having first ascertained names and particulars1 will wait upon his ,grace for his fiat4 ,the expense of a special licence is about twenty-eight or thirty guineas1 whereas that of an ordinary licence is but two guineas and a half2 or three guineas where the gentleman or lady1 or both1 are minors4 ,marriage by ,licence4 ,an ordinary marriage licence is to be obtained at the ,faculty ,registry1 or ,vicar-,general's ,office1 or ,diocesan ,registry ,office of the ,archbishops or ,bishops1 either in the country1 or at ,doctors' ,commons1 or by applying to a proctor4 ,a licence from ,doctors' ,commons1 unlike others1 however1 is available throughout the whole of ,england4 ,the gentleman or lady 7for either may attend71 before applying for an ordinary marriage licence1 should ascertain in what parish or district they are both residing--the church of such parish or district being the church in which the marriage should be celebrated2 and either the gentleman or lady must have had his or her usual abode therein fifteen days before application is made for the licence1 as the following form1 to be made on oath1 sets forth3-- 444 ,proctor4 ,,licence1 ,dated #ahg4 ,,vicar-,,general',s ,,office4 #ahg4 ,,appeared ,,personally1 ,a ,b1 of the parish or district of ----1 in the county of ----1 a bachelor1 of the age of #ba years and upwards1 and prayed a ,licence for the solemnisation of matrimony in the parish or district church of ----1 between him and ,c ,d1 of the district of ----1 in the county of ----1 a spinster1 of the age of #ba years or upwards1 and made oath1 that he believeth that there is no impediment of kindred or alliance1 or of any other lawful cause1 nor any suit commenced in any ,ecclesiastical ,court1 to bar or hinder the proceeding of the said matrimony1 according to the tenor of such ,licence4 ,and he further made oath1 that he1 the said ,a ,b or ,c ,d1 hath had his or her usual place of abode within the said parish or district of ----1 for the space of fifteen days last past4 ,,sworn before me1 ,here the document must be signed by the ,vicar-,general1 or a ,surrogate appointed by him4 ,this affidavit having been completed1 the licence is then made out4 ,it runs thus3-- ,,archibald ,,campbell1 by ,divine ,providence ,archbishop of ,canterbury1 ,primate of all ,england1 and ,metropolitan1 ,to our well beloved in ,christ1 ,a ,b1 of 1 and ,c ,d1 of 1 ,grace and ,health4--,,whereas ye are1 as it is alleged1 resolved to proceed to the solemnisation of true and lawful matrimony1 and that you greatly desire that the same may be solemnised in the face of the ,church3 ,we1 being willing that these your honest desires may the more speedily obtain a due effect1 and to the end therefore that this marriage may be publicly and lawfully solemnised in the church of 1 by the ,rector1 ,vicar1 or ,curate thereof1 without the publication or proclamation of the banns of matrimony1 provided there shall appear no impediment of kindred or alliance1 or of any other lawful cause1 nor any suit commenced in any ,ecclesiastical ,court1 to bar or hinder the proceeding of the said matrimony1 according to the tenor of this ,licence2 ,and likewise1 ,that the celebration of this marriage be had and done publicly in the aforesaid church1 between the hours of eight and twelve in the forenoon2 ,we1 for lawful causes1 graciously grant this our ,,licence ,,and ,,faculty as well to you the parties contracting1 as to the ,rector1 ,vicar1 ,curate1 or ,minister of 1 the aforesaid 1 who is designed to solemnise the marriage between you1 in the manner and form above specified1 according to the rites of the ,book of ,common ,prayer1 set forth for that purpose by the authority of ,parliament4 ,given under the seal of our ,,vicar-,,general1 this day of 1 in the ,year of ,our ,lord one thousand eight hundred and 1 and in the year of our translation4 ,the licence remains in force for three months only2 and the copy received by the person applying for it is left in the hands of the clergyman who marries the parties1 it being his authority for so doing4 ,in case either party is a minor1 the age must be stated1 and the consent of the parents or guardians authorised to give such consent must be sworn to by the gentleman or lady applying for the licence4 ,the following are the persons having legal authority to give their consent in case of minority3--#ast1 the father2 if dead--#bnd1 the guardians1 if any appointed by his will2 if none--#crd1 the mother1 if unmarried2 if dead or married--#dth1 the guardians appointed by ,chancery4 ,if none of the foregoing persons exist1 then the marriage may be legally solemnised without any consent whatever4 ,the following are the official forms for this purpose3-- ,,consents ,,required ,,in ,,case ,,of ,,minors4 ,consent of ,father4 ,by and with the consent of ,a ,b1 the natural and lawful father of ,b ,b1 the minor aforesaid4 ,guardian ,testamentary4 ,by and with the consent of ,a ,b1 the guardian of the person of the said ,c ,d1 the minor aforesaid1 lawfully appointed in and by the last will and testament of ,d ,d1 deceased1 his or her natural and lawful father4 ,mother4 ,by and with the consent of ,a ,b1 the natural and lawful mother of ,b ,b1 the minor aforesaid1 his or her father being dead1 and he or she having no guardian of his or her person lawfully appointed1 and his or her said mother being unmarried4 ,guardian appointed by the ,court of ,chancery4 ,by and with the consent of ,a ,b1 the guardian of the person of the said ,c ,d1 appointed by the ,high ,court of ,chancery1 and having authority to consent to his or her marriage1 his or her father being dead1 and he or she having no guardian of his or her person otherwise lawfully appointed1 or mother living and unmarried4 ,when no ,father1 ,testamentary ,guardian1 ,mother1 or ,guardian appointed by the ,court of ,chancery4 ,that he or she the said ,a ,b1 hath no father living1 or guardian of his or her person lawfully appointed1 or mother living and unmarried1 or guardian of his or her person appointed by the ,high ,court of ,chancery1 and having authority to consent to the aforesaid marriage4 ,the previous remarks have reference only to licences for marriages about to be solemnised according to the laws of the ,church of ,england4 ,marriage of ,roman ,catholics or ,dissenters by ,licence4 ,by the ,statute #fth and #gth ,william ,,iv41 #agth ,august1 #ahcf1 ,roman ,catholics and ,dissenters who may wish to be married in a church or chapel belonging to their own denomination1 can obtain a licence for that purpose from the ,superintendent ,registrar of the district in which one of the parties resides1 after giving notice thereof a week previous to the same officer4 ,the expense of the licence is #c #abs4 #f;d4 ,marriage before the ,registrar4 ,should the parties wish to avoid the expense of a licence1 they can do so by giving three weeks' notice to the ,superintendent ,registrar2 which notice is affixed in his office1 and read before the proper officers when assembled2 at the expiration of that time the marriage may be solemnised in any place which is licensed within their district4 ,the ,registrar of ,marriages of such district must have notice of and attend every such marriage4 ,the fee due to the ,registrar of ,marriages for attending the ceremony and registering the marriage 7by licence7 is #ajs41 and for certificate #bs4 #f;d2 and without a licence #es41 and certificate #bs4 #f;d4 ,marriages also by the above-mentioned ,act of ,parliament may1 upon due notice1 be celebrated in the office of the ,superintendent ,registrar1 with or without licence1 or with or without any religious ceremony2 but the following declarations1 which are prescribed by the ,act1 must be made at all marriages1 in some part of the ceremony1 either religious or otherwise1 in the presence of the ,registrar and two witnesses--viz41 ,i do solemnly declare that ,i know not of any lawful impediment why ,i1 ,a ,b1 may not be joined in matrimony to ,c ,d2 and each of the parties shall also say to each other--,i call upon these persons here present to witness that ,i1 ,a ,b1 do take thee1 ,c ,d1 to be my lawful wedded wife 7or husband74 ,it is highly to the credit of the people of this country1 and an eminent proof of their deep religious feeling1 that all classes of the community have virtually repudiated these ,marriages by ,act of ,parliament2 nor would we advise any fair maiden who has a regard to the comfort and respect of her after connubial life1 to consent to be married in the ,registrar's back parlour1 after due proclamation by the ,overseers and ,poor-,law ,guardians4 ,the ,bridal ,trousseau1 and the ,wedding ,presents4 ,the day being fixed for the wedding1 the bride's father now presents her with a sum of money for her trousseau1 according to her rank in life4 ,a few days previously to the wedding1 presents are also made to the bride by relations and intimate friends1 varying in amount and value according to their degrees of relationship and friendship--such as plate1 furniture1 jewellery1 and articles of ornament1 as well as of utility1 to the newly-married lady in her future station4 ,these1 together with her wedding dresses1 c41 it is customary to exhibit to the intimate friends of the bride a day or two before her marriage4 ,duty of a ,bridegroom-,elect4 ,the bridegroom elect has on the eve of matrimony no little business to transact4 ,his first care is to look after a house suitable for his future home1 and then1 assisted by the taste of his chosen helpmate1 to take steps to furnish it in a becoming style4 ,he must also1 if engaged in business1 make arrangements for a month's absence2 in fact1 bring together all matters into a focus1 so as to be readily manageable when after the honeymoon he shall take the reins himself4 ,he will do well also to burn most of his bachelor letters1 and part with1 it may be1 some few of his bachelor connections2 and he should communicate1 in an easy informal way1 to his acquaintances generally1 the close approach of so important a change in his condition4 ,not to do this might hereafter lead to inconvenience and cause no little annoyance4 ,we must now speak of ,buying the ,ring4 ,it is the gentleman's business to buy the ring2 and let him take especial care not to forget it2 for such an awkward mistake has frequently happened4 ,the ring should be1 we need scarcely say1 of the very purest gold1 but substantial4 ,there are three reasons for this3 first1 that it may not break--a source of great trouble to the young wife2 secondly1 that it may not slip off the finger without being missed--few husbands being pleased to hear that their wives have lost their wedding rings2 and1 thirdly1 that it may last out the lifetime of the loving recipient1 even should that life be protracted to the extreme extent4 ,to get at the right size required is not one of the least interesting of the delicate mysteries of love4 ,a not unusual method is to get a sister of the fair one to lend one of the lady's rings1 to enable the jeweller to select the proper size4 ,care must be taken1 however1 that it be not too large4 ,some audacious suitors1 rendered bold by their favoured position1 have been even known presumptuously to try the ring on the patient finger of the bride-elect2 and it has rarely happened in such cases that the ring has been refused1 or sent back to be changed4 ,having bought the ring1 the bridegroom should now put it into his waistcoat-pocket1 there to remain until he puts on his wedding vest on the morning of the marriage2 to the left-hand pocket of which he must then carefully transfer it1 and not part with it until he takes it out in the church during the wedding ceremony4 ,in ancient days1 it appears by the ,salisbury ,manual1 there was a form of ,blessing the ,wedding ,ring before the wedding day2 and in those times the priest1 previously to the ring being put on1 always made careful inquiry whether it had been duly blessed4 ,it would seem to be the wish of certain clergymen1 who have of late brought back into use many ceremonial observances that had fallen into desuetude1 to revive this ancient custom4 ,who should be ,asked to the ,wedding4 ,the wedding should take place at the house of the bride's parents or guardians4 ,the parties who ought to be asked are the father and mother of the gentleman1 the brothers and sisters 7their wives and husbands also1 if married71 and indeed the immediate relations and favoured friends of both parties4 ,old family friends on the bride's side should also receive invitations--the rationale or original intention of this wedding assemblage being to give publicity to the fact that the bride is leaving her paternal home with the consent and approbation of her parents4 ,on this occasion the bridegroom has the privilege of asking any friends he may choose to the wedding2 but no friend has a right to feel affronted at not being invited1 since1 were all the friends on either side assembled1 the wedding breakfast would be an inconveniently crowded reception1 rather than an impressive ceremonial4 ,it is1 however1 considered a matter of friendly attention on the part of those who cannot be invited1 to be present at the ceremony in the church4 ,who should be ,bridesmaids4 ,the bridesmaids should include the unmarried sisters of the bride2 but it is considered an anomaly for an elder sister to perform this function4 ,the pleasing novelty for several years past1 of an addition to the number of bridesmaids varying from two to eight1 and sometimes more1 has added greatly to the interest of weddings1 the bride being thus enabled to diffuse a portion of her own happiness among the most intimate of her younger friends4 ,one lady is always appointed principal bridesmaid1 and has the bride in her charge2 it is also her duty to take care that the other bridesmaids have the wedding favours in readiness4 ,on the second bridesmaid devolves1 with her principal1 the duty of sending out the cards2 and on the third bridesmaid1 in conjunction with the remaining beauties of her choir1 the onerous office of attending to certain ministrations and mysteries connected with the wedding cake4 ,of the ,bridegroomsmen4 ,it behoves a bridegroom to be exceedingly particular in the selection of the friends who1 as groomsmen1 are to be his companions and assistants on the occasion of his wedding4 ,their number is limited to that of the bridesmaids3 one for each4 ,it is unnecessary to add that very much of the social pleasure of the day will depend on their proper mating4 ,young and unmarried they must be1 handsome they should be1 good-humoured they cannot fail to be1 well dressed they will of course take good care to be4 ,let the bridegroom diligently con over his circle of friends1 and select the comeliest and the pleasantest fellows for his own train4 ,the principal bridegroomsman1 styled his best man has1 for the day1 the special charge of the bridegroom2 and the last warning we would give him is1 to take care that1 when the bridegroom puts on his wedding waistcoat1 he does not omit to put the wedding ring into the corner of the left-hand pocket4 ,the dress of a groomsman should be light and elegant2 a dress coat1 formerly considered indispensable1 is no longer adopted4 ,duties to be ,attended to the ,day before the ,wedding4 ,the bride now sends white gloves1 wrapped in white paper and tied with white ribbon1 to each of the bridesmaids4 ,the bridegroom does the same to each of the bridegroomsmen4 ,one portion of the wedding cake is cut into small oblong pieces1 and passed by the bridesmaids through the wedding ring1 which is delivered into their charge for this purpose4 ,the pieces of cake are afterwards put up in ornamental paper1 generally pink or white1 enamelled1 and tied with bows of silvered paper4 ,this pleasant old custom is1 however1 much on the wane4 ,the bridegroom's best man on this day must take care that due notice be sent to the clerk of the parish where the ceremony is to take place1 so that the church may be got ready1 and the clergyman be in attendance4 ,it is usual too for the bridegroom's best man to make arrangements for the church bells being rung after the ceremony3 the rationale of this being to imply that it is the province of the husband to call on all the neighbours to rejoice with him on his receiving his wife1 and not that of the lady's father on her going from his house4 ,the bridegroom furnishes to the bridesmaids his list for the ,cards to be sent to his friends2 of which hereafter4 ,on the evening of this day the wedding breakfast should be ornamented and spread out1 as far as possible1 in the apartment appropriated to it4 ,the bridesmaids on this evening also prepare the wedding favours1 which should be put up in a box ready to be conveyed to the church on the morning of the marriage4 ,a picturesque custom is observed in many country weddings1 where the bride's friends strew her path to the church door with flowers4 99 99 99 99 99 ,v4--,,etiquette ,,of ,a ,,wedding4 ,the parties being assembled on the wedding morning in the drawing-room of the residence of the bride's father 7unless1 as sometimes happens1 the breakfast is spread in that room71 the happy cortge should proceed to the church in the following order3-- ,in the first carriage1 the bride's mother and the parents of the bridegroom4 ,in the second and third carriages1 bridesmaids4 ,other carriages with the bride's friends4 ,in the last carriage1 the bride and her father4 ,costume of the ,bride4 ,a bride's costume should be white1 or some hue as close as possible to it4 ,fawn colour1 grey1 and lavender are entirely out of fashion4 ,it is considered more stylish for a very young bride to go without a bonnet1 but for her head to be covered with only a wreath of orange blossoms and a ,chantilly or some other lace veil4 ,this1 however1 is entirely a matter of taste2 but1 whether wearing a bonnet or not1 the bride must always wear a veil4 ,if a widow1 she may wear not only a bonnet1 but a coloured silk dress4 ,costume of the ,bridegroom4 ,formerly it was not considered to be in good taste for a gentleman to be married in a black coat4 ,more latitude is now allowed in the costume of a bridegroom1 the style now adopted being what is termed morning dress3 a frock coat1 light trousers1 white satin or silk waistcoat1 ornamental tie1 and white or grey gloves4 ,how the ,bridesmaids should be ,dressed4 ,the bridesmaids dress generally in pairs1 each two alike1 but sometimes all wear a similar costume4 ,pink and light blue1 with white pardessus or mantelets1 or white with pink or blue1 are admissible colours4 ,the bonnets1 if worn1 must be white1 with marabout feathers2 but1 of late1 bonnets have usually been discarded1 the bridesmaids wearing veils instead4 ,the whole costume of a bridesmaid should have a very light but brilliant effect1 and the tout ensemble of this fair bevy should be so constituted in style and colour as to look well by the side of and about the bride4 ,it should be as the warm colouring in the background of a sun-lit picture1 helping to throw into the foreground the dress of the bride1 and make her prominent1 as the principal person in the tableau4 ,arrival at the ,church4 ,the bridegroom meets the bride at the altar1 where he must take especial care to arrive in good time before the hour appointed4 ,order of ,procession to the ,altar4 ,the father of the bride generally advances with her from the church door to the altar1 followed immediately by the bridesmaids4 ,the father of the bridegroom1 if present1 gives his arm to the bride's mother if she be present1 as is now usual at fashionable weddings1 and goes next to the bridesmaids4 ,the friends who have come with the wedding party proceed next in succession4 ,the bridegroom with his groomsmen must be in readiness to meet the bride at the altar1 the bridegroom standing at the left hand of the clergyman1 in the centre before the altar rails4 ,we have seen on some occasions the bridegroom offer the bride his left arm to lead her to the altar1 but this should be avoided2 for by so doing1 the whole order of the procession to the altar becomes inverted1 and must then be arranged as follows3-- ,the father1 or some male relative or friend1 and the mother of the bride1 or1 if she be not present1 the mother of the gentleman1 or one of the oldest female relations or friends of the bride's family1 are to lead the way towards the altar from the vestry4 ,the friends who have come with the wedding party follow next in succession4 ,then come the bridesmaids and bridegroomsmen in pairs4 ,the bridegroom1 having offered his left arm to the bride1 now conducts her up the centre aisle of the church to the altar4 ,the parties in advance file to the right and left of the altar1 leaving the bride and bridegroom in the centre4 ,the ,marriage ,ceremony4 ,the bridegroom stands at the right hand of the bride4 ,the father stands just behind her1 so as to be in readiness to give her hand at the proper moment to the bridegroom4 ,the principal bridesmaid stands on the left of the bride1 ready to take off the bride's glove1 which she keeps as a perquisite and prize of her office4 ,it was ordered by the old ,rubrics that the woman1 if a widow1 should have her hand covered when presented by father or friend to the priest for marriage2 one of the many points by which the ,church distinguished second marriages4 ,a piece of silver and a piece of gold were also laid with the wedding ring upon the priest's book 7where the cross would be on the cover71 in token of dower to the wife4 ,the words ,i ,will are to be pronounced distinctly and audibly by both parties1 such being the all-important part of the ceremony as respects themselves3 the public delivery1 before the priest1 by the father of his daughter to the bridegroom1 being an evidence of his assent2 the silence which follows the inquiry for cause or just impediment testifying that of society in general2 and the ,i will being the declaration of the bride and bridegroom that they are voluntary parties to their holy union in marriage4 ,the words ,honour and ,obey must also be distinctly spoken by the bride4 ,they constitute an essential part of the obligation and contract of matrimony on her part4 ,it may not be amiss here to inform our fair readers that on the marriage of our gracious ,sovereign ,queen ,victoria to ,h4,r4,h4 the late lamented ,prince ,albert1 her ,majesty carefully and most judiciously emphasised these words1 thereby manifesting that though a ,queen in station1 yet in her wedded and private life she sought no exemption from this obligation1 and in this respect placed herself on the same level with the humblest village matron in her dominions4 ,this obedience on the part of the wife1 concerning which there is oftentimes much serious questioning among ladies old and young1 while yet unmarried1 is thus finely defined by ,jeremy ,taylor3--,it is a voluntary cession that is required2 such a cession as must be without coercion and violence on his part1 but upon fair inducements and reasonableness in the thing1 and out of love and honour on her part4 ,when ,god commands us to love ,him1 ,he means we shall obey ,him4 ',this is love1 that ye keep my commandments2 and if ye love me1' says the ,lord1 'keep my commandments4' ,now as ,christ is to the ,church1 so is man to the wife2 and therefore obedience is the best instance of her love2 for it proclaims her submission1 her humility1 her opinion of his wisdom1 his pre-eminence in the family1 the right of his privilege1 and the injunction imposed by ,god upon her sex1 that although in sorrow she bring forth children1 yet with love and choice she should obey4 ,the man's authority is love1 and the woman's love is obedience4 ,it is modesty to advance and highly to honour them who have honoured us by making us the companions of their dearest excellencies2 for the woman that went before the man in the way of death1 is commanded to follow him in the way of love2 and that makes the society to be perfect1 and the union profitable1 and the harmony complete4 ,the ,ring4 ,the ,rubric tells us the man shall give unto the woman a ring1 laying the same upon the book with the accustomed duty to the priest and clerk4 ,this latter rule is1 however1 not now observed1 it being usual to pay the fees in the vestry2 but to ensure the presence of the ring1 a caution by no means unnecessary1 and in some measure to sanctify that emblem of an eternal union1 it is asked for by the clerk previously to the commencement of the ceremony1 who advises that it be placed upon the book4 ,we pity the unfortunate bridegroom who at this moment cannot1 by at once inserting his hand into the corner 7the one most ready to his finger and thumb7 of his left-hand waistcoat-pocket1 pull out the wedding ring4 ,imagine his dismay at not finding it there6--the first surprise1 the growing anxiety1 as the right-hand pocket is next rummaged--the blank look1 as he follows this by the discovery that his neither garments have no pockets whatsoever1 not even a watch-fob1 where it may lie perdue in a corner6 ,amid the suppressed giggle of the bridesmaids1 the disconcerted look of the bride herself1 at such a palpable instance of carelessness on the part of the bridegroom thus publicly displayed before all her friends1 and the half-repressed disapprobation of the numerous circle around1 he fumbles in the coat-pockets1 and turns them inside-out4 ,a further but useless search causes increased confusion and general annoyance2 at length it becomes evident that the unfortunate ring has been forgotten6 ,we may observe1 however1 that in default of the ring1 the wedding ring of the mother may be used4 ,the application of the key of the church door is traditionary in this absurd dilemma2 and in country churches a straw twisted into a circle has been known to supply the place of the orthodox hoop of gold6 ,after the ,ceremony4 the clergyman usually shakes hands with the bride and bridegroom1 and the bride's father and mother1 and a general congratulation ensues4 ,the ,clergyman and ,assistant ,clergymen4 ,the clergyman of the church is invariably invited to attend1 although the ceremony may be performed by some clerical friend of the bride or bridegroom4 ,this is called assisting2 other clergymen who may attend in addition1 as is sometimes the case1 are said also to assist4 ,but as much ridicule has fallen upon the adoption of this custom1 and as the expression of assisting is considered an affectation1 it is much less in vogue than it was2 and it is no longer usual to mention the names of any other clergymen than that of the one who performs the ceremony1 and of the clergyman of the church1 who should be present whether invited or not4 ,it is1 indeed1 his duty to attend1 and he should insist on so doing1 inasmuch as the entry of the marriage in the parish register is supposed to be made under his sanction and authority4 ,it should not be forgotten that the presence of an assisting clergyman entails the doubling of the fees4 ,the payment of the fees is generally entrusted to the bridegroom's best man1 or some other intimate friend of his4 ,difference of ,religion4 ,where the bride and bridegroom are of different religions1 the marriage is usually first celebrated in the church of that communion to which the husband belongs2 the second celebration should immediately follow1 and upon the same day4 ,some1 however1 regard it as duly deferential to the bride's feelings that the first ceremony should be performed in her own communion4 ,there is a notion prevalent1 that in the case of a marriage between ,roman ,catholics and ,protestants1 the ceremony must necessarily be first performed in a ,protestant church4 ,this is erroneous--the order of the twofold marriage is1 in a legal point of view1 of no moment1 so long as it takes place on the same day4 ,the ,return to the ,vestry4 ,on the completion of the ceremony the bride is led to the vestry by the bridegroom4 ,the bridesmaids and bridegroomsmen follow1 the principals of each taking the lead2 then the father of the bride1 followed by the father and mother of the bridegroom1 and the rest of the company4 ,the ,registry of the ,marriage4 ,the husband signs first2 then the bride-wife1 for the last time in her maiden name2 next the father of the bride1 and the mother1 if present2 then the father and mother of the bridegroom1 if present2 next the bridesmaids and the bridegroomsmen2 then such of the rest of the company as may desire to be on the record as witnesses4 ,all the names must be signed in full4 ,the certificate of the marriage is then handed to the bride1 and should be carefully preserved in her own possession4 ,the ,wedding ,favours4 ,meanwhile1 outside the church1 as soon as the ceremony is completed--and not before1 for it is regarded as unfortunate--a box of the wedding favours is opened1 and every servant in waiting takes care to pin one on the right side of his hat1 while the coachmen1 too1 ornament therewith the ears of their horses4 ,inside the church the wedding favours are also distributed1 and a gay1 gallant1 and animated scene ensues1 as each bridesmaid pins on to the coat of each bridegroomsman a wedding favour1 which he returns by pinning one also on her shoulder4 ,every favour is carefully furnished with two pins for this purpose2 and it is amazing to see the flutter1 the coquettish smiling1 and the frequent pricking of fingers1 which the performance of this piquant and pleasant duty of the wedding bachelors and ladies in waiting does occasion6 ,the ,return ,home4 ,the bridegroom now leads the bride out of the church1 and the happy pair return homeward in the first carriage4 ,the father and mother follow in the next4 ,the rest stand not on the order of their going1 but start off in such wise as they can best contrive4 ,the ,wedding ,breakfast4 ,the bride and bridegroom sit together at the centre of the table1 in front of the wedding cake1 the clergyman who performed the ceremony taking his place opposite to them4 ,the top and bottom of the table are occupied by the father and mother of the bride4 ,the principal bridesmaid sits to the left of the bride1 and the principal bridegroomsman on the left of the bridegroom4 ,it may not be unnecessary to say that it is customary for the ladies to wear their bonnets just as they came from the church4 ,the bridesmaids cut the cake into small pieces1 which are not eaten until the health of the bride is proposed4 ,this is usually done by the officiating clergyman1 or by an old and cherished friend of the family of the bridegroom4 ,the bridegroom returns thanks for the bride and for himself4 ,the health of the bride's parents is then proposed1 and is followed by those of the principal personages present1 the toast of the bridesmaids being generally one of the pleasantest features of the festal ceremony4 ,after about two hours1 the principal bridesmaid leads the bride out of the room as quietly as possible1 so as not to disturb the party or attract attention4 ,shortly after--it may be in about ten minutes--the absence of the bride being noticed1 the rest of the ladies retire4 ,then it is that the bridegroom has a few melancholy moments to bid adieu to his bachelor friends1 and he then generally receives some hints on the subject in a short address from one of them1 to which he is of course expected to respond4 ,he then withdraws for a few moments1 and returns after having made a slight addition to his toilet1 in readiness for travelling4 ,in some recent fashionable weddings we have noticed that the bride and bridegroom do not attend the wedding breakfast1 but after a slight refreshment in a private apartment1 take their departure immediately on the wedding tour4 ,but this defalcation1 if we may so call it1 of the chief dramatis personae of the day1 though considered to be in good taste1 is by no means a popular innovation1 but is rather regarded as a prudish dereliction from the ancient forms of hospitality1 which are more prized than ever on so genial an occasion as a marriage4 ,departure for the ,honeymoon4 ,the young bride1 divested of her bridal attire1 and quietly costumed for the journey1 now bids farewell to her bridesmaids and lady friends4 ,a few tears spring to her gentle eyes as she takes a last look at the home she is now leaving4 ,the servants venture to crowd about her with their humble but heartfelt congratulations2 finally1 she falls weeping on her mother's bosom4 ,a short cough is heard1 as of some one summoning up resolution to hide emotion4 ,it is her father4 ,he dares not trust his voice2 but holds out his hand1 gives her an affectionate kiss1 and then leads her1 half turning back1 down the stairs and through the hall1 to the door1 where he delivers her as a precious charge to her husband1 who hands her quickly into the carriage1 springs in after her1 waves his hand to the party who appear crowding at the windows1 half smiles at the throng about the door1 then1 amidst a shower of old slippers--missiles of good-luck sent flying after the happy pair--gives the word1 and they are off1 and started on the long-hoped-for voyage6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vi4--,,etiquette ,,after ,,the ,,wedding4 ,the dress of the bride during the honeymoon should be characterised by modesty1 an attractive simplicity1 and scrupulous neatness4 ,the slightest approach to slatternliness in costume1 when all should be exquisitely trim from chevelure to chaussure1 would be an abomination1 and assuredly beget a most unpleasant impression on the susceptible feelings of the husband4 ,he will naturally regard any carelessness or indifference in this respect1 at such a time1 as a bad augury for the future4 ,the ,wedding ,cards4 ,the distribution of these has long been regarded as an important social duty2 it devolves1 as we have already said1 on the bridesmaids1 who meet for that purpose at the house of the bride's father on the day after the wedding4 ,the cards1 which are always furnished by the bridegroom1 are two fold--the one having upon it the gentleman's and the other the lady's name4 ,they are placed in envelopes1 those containing the lady's card having her maiden name engraved or lithographed inside the fold1 and have all been addressed some time before by the bridesmaids1 to whom the gentleman has given a list of such of his friends as he wishes to introduce to his home4 ,the lady generally sends cards to all whom she has been in the habit of receiving or visiting while at her father's house4 ,she too has now an opportunity of dropping such acquaintances as she may not be desirous of retaining in her wedded life4 ,this point of sending the cards has until recently been considered as one requiring great care and circumspection1 since an omission has frequently been regarded as a serious affront4 ,to those parties whose visiting acquaintance is wished to be kept up1 on the bride's card it has been the custom until lately to add the words ,at home on such a day4 ,but this usage is going out of vogue4 ,to send cards without an address is an intimation that the parties are not expected to call except in the case of friends who reside far away1 or when the marriage has taken place at a distance4 ,in fact1 the address is understood to denote ,at home1 by those who adhere to the custom2 it is better1 however1 that those words should be put upon the cards4 ,a practice has grown up of late1 more particularly where the circle of friends is extensive1 to send invitations to such as are not called to the wedding feast to attend the ceremony at church1 instead of issuing cards at all4 ,when this rule is observed1 it is usual in notifying the marriage in the newspapers to add the words ,no ,cards4 ,reception of ,visitors4 ,on the return of the wedded pair from their honeymoon trip1 about a month or six weeks after the wedding1 they were1 until recently1 expected to be ,at home2 but the formality of reception days is now generally exploded4 ,intimate friends1 whether ,at home cards have been issued or not1 will1 however1 be expected to pay them a visit4 ,but if reception days have been fixed1 the bride1 with her husband and bridesmaids1 will sit at home ready to receive those to whom cards have been sent1 the bride wearing her wedding dress1 and the company invited to partake of wedding cake and wine to drink the health of the bride4 ,returning ,visits4 ,the bride and her husband1 or1 in case he may not be able to attend her1 the principal bridesmaid--the last of whose official duties this is--usually return all the wedding visits paid to them4 ,those who may have called on the bride without having received wedding cards should not have their visits returned1 unless special reason exists to the contrary1 such visit being deemed an impolite intrusion4 ,these return visits having been paid1 the happy pair cease to be spoken of as bride and bridegroom1 but are henceforward styled the newly-married couple2 and then all goes on as if they had been married twenty years4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vii4--,,practical ,,advice ,,to ,a ,,newly-,,married ,,couple4 ,our advice to the husband will be brief4 ,let him have up concealments from his wife1 but remember that their interests are mutual2 that1 as she must suffer the pains of every loss1 as well as share the advantages of every success1 in his career in life1 she has therefore a right to know the risks she may be made to undergo4 ,we do not say that it is necessary1 or advisable1 or even fair1 to harass a wife's mind with the details of business2 but where a change of circumstances--not for the better--is anticipated or risked1 let her by all means be made acquainted with the fact in good time4 ,many a kind husband almost breaks his young wife's fond heart by an alteration in his manner1 which she cannot but detect1 but from ignorance of the cause very probably attributes to a wrong motive2 while he1 poor fellow1 all the while out of pure tenderness1 is endeavouring to conceal from her tidings--which must come out at last--of ruined hopes or failure in speculation2 whereas1 had she but known the danger beforehand1 she would have alleviated his fears on her account1 and by cheerful resignation have taken out half the sting of his disappointment4 ,let no man think lightly of the opinion of his wife in times of difficulty4 ,women have generally more acuteness of perception than men2 and in moments of peril1 or in circumstances that involve a crisis or turning-point in life1 they have usually more resolution and greater instinctive judgment4 ,we recommend that every husband from the first should make his wife an allowance for ordinary household expenses--which he should pay weekly or monthly--and for the expenditure of which he should not1 unless for some urgent reason1 call her to account4 ,a tolerably sure guide in estimating the amount of this item1 which does not include rent1 taxes1 servants' wages1 coals1 or candles1 c41 is to remember that in a small middle-class family1 not exceeding four1 the expense of each person for ordinary food amounts to fifteen shillings weekly2 beyond that number1 to ten shillings weekly for each extra person1 servant or otherwise4 ,this estimate does not1 of course1 provide for wine or food of a luxurious kind4 ,the largest establishment1 indeed1 may be safely calculated on the same scale4 ,a wife should also receive a stated allowance for dress1 within which limit she ought always to restrict her expenses4 ,any excess of expenditure under this head should be left to the considerate kindness of her husband to concede4 ,nothing is more contemptible than for a woman to have perpetually to ask her husband for small sums for housekeeping expenses--nothing more annoying and humiliating than to have to apply to him always for money for her own private use--nothing more disgusting than to see a man mollycoddling about marketing1 and rummaging about for cheap articles of all kinds4 ,let the husband beware1 when things go wrong with him in business affairs1 of venting his bitter feelings of disappointment and despair in the presence of his wife and family1--feelings which1 while abroad1 he finds it practicable to restrain4 ,it is as unjust as it is impolitic to indulge in such a habit4 ,a wife having married the man she loves above all others1 must be expected in her turn to pay some court to him4 ,before marriage she has1 doubtless1 been made his idol4 ,every moment he could spare1 and perhaps many more than he could properly so appropriate1 have been devoted to her4 ,how anxiously has he not revolved in his mind his worldly chances of making her happy6 ,how often has he not had to reflect1 before he made the proposal of marriage1 whether he should be acting dishonourably towards her by incurring the risk1 for the selfish motive of his own gratification1 of placing her in a worse position than the one she occupied at home6 ,and still more than this1 he must have had to consider with anxiety the probability of having to provide for an increasing family1 with all its concomitant expenses4 ,we say1 then1 that being married1 and the honeymoon over1 the husband must necessarily return to his usual occupations1 which will1 in all probability1 engage the greater part of his thoughts1 for he will now be desirous to have it in his power to procure various little indulgences for his wife's sake which he never would have dreamed of for his own4 ,he comes to his home weary and fatigued2 his young wife has had but her pleasures to gratify1 or the quiet routine of her domestic duties to attend to1 while he has been toiling through the day to enable her to gratify these pleasures and to fulfil these duties4 ,let then1 the dear1 tired husband1 at the close of his daily labours1 be made welcome by the endearments of his loving spouse--let him be free from the care of having to satisfy the caprices of a petted wife4 ,let her now take her turn in paying those many little love-begotten attentions which married men look for to soothe them--let her reciprocate that devotion to herself1 which1 from the early hours of their love1 he cherished for her1 by her ever-ready endeavours to make him happy and his home attractive4 ,in the presence of other persons1 however1 married people should refrain from fulsome expressions of endearment to each other1 the use of which1 although a common practice1 is really a mark of bad taste4 ,it is desirable also to caution them against adopting the too prevalent vulgarism of calling each other1 or indeed any person whatever1 merely by the initial letter of their surname4 ,a married woman should always be very careful how she receives personal compliments4 ,she should never court them1 nor ever feel flattered by them1 whether in her husband's presence or not4 ,if in his presence1 they can hardly fail to be distasteful to him2 if in his absence1 a lady1 by a dignified demeanour1 may always convince an assiduous admirer that his attentions are not well received1 and at once and for ever stop all familiar advances4 ,in case of insult1 a wife should immediately make her husband acquainted therewith2 as the only chance of safety to a villain lies in the concealment of such things by a lady from dread of consequences to her husband4 ,from that moment he has her at advantage1 and may very likely work on deliberately to the undermining of her character4 ,he is thus enabled to play upon her fears1 and taunt her with their mutual secret and its concealment1 until she may be involved1 guilelessly1 in a web of apparent guilt1 from which she can never extricate herself without risking the happiness of her future life4 ,not the least useful piece of advice--homely though it be--that we can offer to newly-married ladies1 is to remind them that husbands are men1 and that men must eat4 ,we can tell them1 moreover1 that men attach no small importance to this very essential operation1 and that a very effectual way to keep them in good-humour1 as well as good condition1 is for wives to study their husband's peculiar likes and dislikes in this matter4 ,let the wife try1 therefore1 if she have not already done so1 to get up a little knowledge of the art of ordering dinner1 to say the least of it4 ,this task1 if she be disposed to learn it1 will in time be easy enough2 moreover1 if in addition she should acquire some practical knowledge of cookery1 she will find ample reward in the gratification it will be the means of affording her husband4 ,servants are difficult subjects for a young wife to handle3 she generally either spoils them by indulgence1 or ruins them by finding fault unfairly4 ,at last they either get the better of her1 or she is voted too bad for them4 ,the art lies in steady command and management of yourself as well as them4 ,the well-known ,dr4 ,clark1 who was always well served1 used to say1 ,it is so extremely difficult to get good servants1 that we should not lightly give them up when even tolerable4 ,my advice is1 bear a little with them1 and do not be too sharp2 pass by little things with gentle reprehension3 now and then a little serious advice does far more good than sudden fault-finding when the offence justly occurs4 ,if my wife had not acted in this way1 we must have been continually changing1 and nothing can be more disagreeable in a family1 and1 indeed1 it is generally disgraceful4 ,an observance of the few following rules will in all probability ensure a life of domestic harmony1 peace1 and comfort3-- ,to hear as little as possible whatever is to the prejudice of others2 to believe nothing of the kind until you are compelled to admit the truth of it2 never to take part in the circulation of evil report and idle gossip2 always to moderate1 as far as possible1 harsh and unkind expressions reflecting upon others2 always to believe that if the other side were heard1 a very different account might be given of the matter4 ,in conclusion1 we say emphatically to the newly-wedded wife1 that attention to these practical hints will prolong her honeymoon throughout the whole period of wedded life1 and cause her husband1 as each year adds to the sum of his happiness1 to bless the day when he first chose her as the nucleus round which he might consolidate the inestimable blessings of ,,home4 ,how fair is home1 in fancy's pictured theme1 ,in wedded life1 in love's romantic dream6 ,thence springs each hope1 there every spring returns1 ,pure as the flame that upward heavenward burns2 ,there sits the wife1 whose radiant smile is given-- ,the daily sun of the domestic heaven2 ,and when calm evening sheds a secret power1 ,her looks of love imparadise the hour2 ,while children round1 a beauteous train1 appear1 ,attendant stars1 revolving in her sphere4 ,,holland',s ,hopes of ,matrimony4 ,how to ,dress ,well 99 99 99 99 99 ,i4--,,introduction4 ,no one disputes the fact that1 when our first parents were placed in the garden of ,eden1 they wore no clothes4 ,it was not until after they had acquired the knowledge of good and evil that they turned their attention to the subject of dress1 which is now the engrossing thought and care of the majority4 ,there are still to be found amongst the uncivilized races those who are contented with as small an amount of clothing as satisfied the first inhabitants of ,eden4 ,yet many of these show that they study personal appearance quite as much as the most fashionable of ,parisian belles2 for they bestow much labour1 time1 and thought1 and endure much actual suffering in the elaborate patterns with which they tattoo1 and1 as they vainly suppose1 embellish their faces and persons4 ,the ancient ,britons1 who painted themselves in various devices1 also bore witness to the natural craving after personal adornment1 which seems to be inherent in the whole human race4 ,the particular modes in which this craving exhibits itself seem to depend upon climate and civilization4 ,climate prescribes what is absolutely necessary2 civilization1 what is decent and becoming4 ,in some countries it is necessary to protect the body1 and especially the head1 from the power of the sun2 in others1 to guard it against extreme cold2 while many of the savage tribes1 inured to the scorching rays of the sun1 almost entirely dispense with clothing1 and yet have certain conceits and vanities which show that personal appearance is not disregarded4 ,the most hostile intentions have been averted1 and imminent peril escaped1 by the timely present of a few rows of bright-coloured beads1 or a small piece of looking-glass2 and the most trumpery ,european gewgaws have elicited more admiration1 afforded greater pleasure1 and effected more goodwill1 than the most costly treasures could purchase among civilized nations4 ,a love of finery seems to belong to human nature4 ,there is an attraction in bright and showy colours which the uncivilized cannot resist1 and which is equally powerful among those who are civilized1 though education and other causes may qualify it4 ,when we hear persons loudly declaiming against dress as a needless waste of time and money--when we hear them sighing for the return of the good old times when it was not so much considered1 we are tempted to inquire at what period in the history of the world those times occurred2 for we cannot learn that it was1 at any time1 considered to be an unimportant item of expenditure or thought4 ,we do not by any means affirm that it may not occupy too much care2 that there may not be instances in which it is suffered to engross the mind to the detriment of other things more worthy of consideration2 that it may not lead to frivolity and extravagance4 ,all this may be1 and no doubt often is1 true4 ,it is quite possible1 and more than probable4 ,but we also maintain that it is a great mistake to come down upon it with a sweeping denunciation1 and1 in ,quaker fashion1 avow it to be all vanity1 and assert that it must be trodden out of thought and eye4 ,even the ,quakers themselves1 who affect such supercilious contempt for dress1 are very particular about the cut of their headgear1 about the shade of their greys and their drabs and their browns1 and1 in their scrupulous neatness1 show that they think as much of a grease-spot or a stain as many a damsel does of the ribbon in her cap or the set of her collar and cuffs4 ,so that1 after all1 whatever professions people may make1 human nature and human wants are always the same4 ,it by no means follows that a person who is well dressed thinks a great deal about it1 or devotes much time to it4 ,to some persons it comes quite naturally4 ,they look well in whatever they wear2 and the probability is that it occupies less of their time and thoughts than many who arrive1 with infinite more labour and pains1 at a less pleasing result4 ,in submitting this manual to the public1 we do not presume to do more than offer such suggestions as may promote a better style of dress1 consistent with a due regard to economy4 ,no doubt many of our suggestions will have occurred to some of our readers1 and it may seem almost needless to have made them1 but we know by experience in other things that maxims are often forgotten and laid aside till something occurs to revive them4 ,it is easy enough for the rich to be in harmony with the prevailing fashion4 ,they have but to open their purse-strings1 and pay for any of those freaks of fancy which are called fashion4 ,to combine a good style with economy requires judgment and contrivance1 or1 what is generally called1 management4 ,there are certain points which may be considered as fundamental1 without which the most rigid attention to matters of dress will go for nothing4 ,for instance1 cleanliness1 which according to the old proverb1 is rated so high as to be placed next to godliness1 is one of these1 and of primary importance4 ,the most costly attire1 if unaccompanied by it1 is not only valueless1 but may become a positive disfigurement1 while the simplest dress1 combined with cleanliness1 may be absolutely refreshing4 ,there is no reason whatever why the most menial occupation should be admitted as any excuse for want of personal cleanliness4 ,it is always easy to distinguish between accidental dirt which cannot always be avoided1 and that which is habitual4 ,when it is considered that the object of nine-tenths of womankind is that they may marry and settle in life1 as their fathers and mothers have done before them1 it is very natural that they should endeavour to make themselves as captivating as they can2 only let them all bear this in mind1--let their rank and station be what it may1--that no man is caught by the mere display of fine clothes4 ,a pretty face1 or good figure1 may captivate2 but fine clothes1 never4 ,though it is said that fine feathers make fine birds1 yet no mail will be caught by a trimming or a flounce4 ,to what end then should attention be given to dress8 ,why should it be made of so much consequence as to write a manual upon it8 ,because it is one of beauty's accessories2 because as dress of some kind is absolutely necessary and indispensable1 it is better that people of all classes should dress well rather than ill1 and that1 when it is done1 it should be done sensibly and reasonably2 without carelessness on the one hand1 and without extravagance on the other4 ,when we may1 why should we not choose the best and most becoming8 ,why are we to mortify ourselves and annoy our friends by choosing something because it is especially hideous8 ,no law1 human or divine1 enjoins us to disfigure ourselves4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ii4--,,taste ,,in ,,dress4 ,in dress1 as in most other things1 there are two kinds of taste2 good taste and bad taste4 ,we use the word taste in a sense quite distinct from style4 ,it is a disputed point whether really good taste can ever be acquired1 or whether it is only inherent4 ,we are disposed to think that1 in its most perfect form1 it is inborn2 but that education1 association1 familiarity with it may1 and often does1 arrive at the same result4 ,for instance1 a person who has always lived on close and intimate terms with those who are conspicuous for their good taste1 becomes so familiarized with certain expressions of thoughts and ideas1 habits of mind1 and standard of life1 that he unconsciously adopts them1 views things from the same point1 and walks in the same groove1 quite irrespective of the natural tendencies of his own mind4 ,persons who have no natural gift or talent for painting1 may acquire a knowledge of the art so as to pronounce with tolerable correctness of judgment upon the works of the old masters1 from merely associating with those who are conversant with the subject1 living amongst the pictures themselves1 or from hearing discussions upon their respective merits4 ,in fact1 man is an imitative animal1 and can adapt himself very readily to the circumstances by which he is surrounded1 as well as acquire from others the results of their deeper research and greater experience4 ,living in an atmosphere where good taste prevails1 it is not wonderful that he should acquire that power of discrimination by which the selection of what is becoming and harmonious is made easy4 ,there is no doubt that dress is a very fair index of the mind of the wearer4 ,who but a ,widow ,barnaby would wear a bright emerald green satin dress in the morning1 and a bonnet profusely ornamented with large and brilliant scarlet flowers8 ,yet we have ourselves seen a lady1 of ample dimensions and advanced years1 similarly attired1 and could think of nothing but one of those large gaudy macaws which are to be met with in every zoological garden4 ,who that had any regard for his own liberty would marry such a strong-minded1 pretentious dame8 ,who could endure for life the vulgarity of mind that suggested such a costume for a fte in the country on a hot summer's day8 ,there are some persons who think to overpower their neighbours by the splendour of their attire4 ,it is much easier to point out what offends against good taste than to say in so many words in what it consists4 ,harmony of colour is essential to being well dressed4 ,there are colours which swear so awfully1 that no one with any pretension to good taste would wear them2 yet we not unfrequently find instances of them4 ,a yellow gown has been worn with a bright green bonnet2 red and green1 like our friend -la-macaw2 salmon colour and blue2 yellow and red2 green and blue4 ,two ill-assorted shades of the same colour1 such as a dark and light blue2 or a red lilac and a blue lilac2 or a rose pink and a blue pink2 or drab and yellow4 ,instances might be multiplied without end of incongruous inharmonious blending of colours1 the mere sight of which is enough to give any one a bilious fever4 ,there are colours which1 in themselves1 may be inoffensive1 but of which only particular shades assort well together4 ,blue and pink was a very favourite combination at one time2 but in order to be both pleasing and effective1 it must be one particular shade of each1 and these softened and blended by the addition of white4 ,again1 shades of scarlet and blue harmonize well together4 ,black has a wonderful power in softening down any intrusive brilliancy4 ,it tones down scarlet and pink1 blue and yellow1 and gives them an indescribable charm1 suggesting all kinds of pleasant things--the ,cachuca and castanets1 and the mantilla worn with such inimitable grace and coquetry by the ,spanish ladies4 ,black and white is also a pleasing combination4 ,white has generally the opposite effect of black4 ,it adds to the brilliancy of the colours1 and smartens rather than subdues4 ,many of those who aim at being well dressed1 rarely give sufficient attention to this harmony of colour4 ,one little thing will upset the whole4 ,the choice of jewels or the head dress may destroy all the effect which has been admirably conceived by an experienced dressmaker4 ,it is on this account that some milliners prefer to supply all that is requisite for a particular costume4 ,the man-milliner at ,paris is said to be very dictatorial on this subject1 and to decide very peremptorily as to what shall or shall not be worn4 ,in morning costumes1 a pair of gloves badly chosen will mar the effect of the whole4 ,imagine a lady dressed in mauve silk1 with a mauve bonnet1 and emerald green kid gloves6 or vice vers1 in green silk1 with a bonnet to match1 and mauve-coloured gloves6 ,dark green1 dark mauve1 or plum coloured1 dark salmon1 or dark yellow gloves1 are enough to spoil the most faultless costume2 because they interrupt the harmony of colour2 like the one string of a musical instrument1 which1 being out of tune1 creates a discord throughout all the rest4 ,variety in colour is another great defect in dress1 quite apart from the question of their harmony4 ,a multiplicity of colours1 though not in themselves inharmonious1 is never pleasing4 ,it fatigues the eye1 which cannot find any repose where it is disturbed by so many colours4 ,a bonnet of one colour1 a gown of another1 with trimmings of a third1 a mantle of a fourth1 and a parasol of a fifth colour1 can never form a costume that will please the eye4 ,it is laid to the charge of ,english people1 that they are especially fond of this kind of dress1 whereas a ,french woman will dress much more quietly1 though1 by no means1 less expensively2 but in her choice of colours she will use very few1 and those well assorted4 ,for instance1 a grey gown and a white bonnet1 relieved by a black lace shawl or velvet mantle1 indicate a refinement which may be looked in vain where the colours of the rainbow prevail4 ,among well-dressed persons it will be found that quiet colours are always preferred4 ,whatever is gaudy is offensive1 and the use of many colours constitutes gaudiness4 ,birds of gay plumage are sometimes brought forward to sanction the use of many bright colours4 ,they are indeed worthy of all admiration2 so also are flowers1 in which we find the most beautiful assortment of colours2 but nature has shaded and blended them together with such exquisite skill and delicacy1 that they are placed far beyond the reach of all human art2 and we think they are1 to use the mildest terms1 both bold and unwise who attempt to reproduce in their own persons1 with the aid of silks or satins1 the marvellous effect of colours with which nature abounds4 ,and yet it may be observed in nature1 how gay colours are neutralized by their accessories2 how the greens vary in tone and tint according to the blossoms which they surround4 ,the infinite shades and depths of colour with which nature is filled render it impossible for anyone to attempt to imitate it beyond a certain point of general harmony4 ,this is now more generally understood than it used to be2 but still we often stumble across some glaring instance in which a gaudy eye and taste have been allowed to run riot1 and the result has been the reproduction of something not very unlike a bed of tulips4 ,it is in a host of little things such as these that good taste lies1 and shows itself4 ,we remember an instance of a lady1 who was conspicuous among her fellows for her exquisitely good taste in dress1 being severely commented upon by two showily-dressed women1 who were the wives of wealthy merchants in one of our great seaport-towns4 ,this lady appeared in church quietly dressed in black1 with a handsome ,indian shawl1 of which the colours were subdued and wonderfully blended4 ,the two representatives of the nouveaux riches looked at the lady and then at each other2 they turned up their noses1 and shrugged their shoulders1 and gave vent to their feelings1 as they came away from church1 in loud exclamations of disdain3 ,well6 did you ever8 ,no6 ,i never did2 and she a lady too6 ,for their part they would be ashamed to wear such a shabby old shawl4 ,the shawl was worth about its weight in gold2 but because it was not showy1 it found no favour in their eyes4 ,as it is so intricate a matter1 and one of which a very slight thing can turn the scales1 it is not easy to lay down rules by which good taste may be acquired4 ,but there are instances of bad taste which can be avoided1 and among them there is one which is self-evident1 and does not relate either to harmony or to variety of colours4 ,we allude to the good taste of dressing according to our means and station4 ,there is an impression in the minds of some persons1 that fine feathers make fine birds1 and that the world in general thinks more or less of them according to the dress they wear4 ,therefore1 in order that they may impose upon their neighbours by their outward appearance1 and1 as children say1 make-believe that they are richer than they really are1 they dress beyond their means1 and1 at the cost of much privation of even the necessaries of life1 make a display which they are not warranted in making4 ,we have known those who have pinched themselves till they have brought on actual illness1 or have laid the foundation of a fatal disease1 in order that they might dress themselves in a style beyond their position in life4 ,in ,france this is often the case4 ,a lady who1 in her ordinary attire1 is as slovenly and as shabbily dressed as almost the very beggar in the street1 will appear at some evening party most exquisitely dressed1 and will carry on her back the savings acquired by months and years of penurious self-denial4 ,we respect those who struggle hard to maintain their hereditary position1 and reverence within certain limits the spirit of endurance which bears in privacy the changes of fortune in order to keep up a becoming appearance in the eyes of the world4 ,but we have no sympathy for those who1 having no such excuse1 having no high lineage1 and to whom fortune has not been unkind1 stint and screw that they may impose upon their neighbours with the notion that they are better off than they really are1--better off in money1 and better off in position4 ,imposture of this kind we confess we have no patience for4 ,we are very intolerant of it4 ,it is a vulgarity which1 wherever it may be found1 is most offensive4 ,we go even further still1 and are disposed to blame all who1 whatever their circumstances or condition may have been or may be1 dress beyond their means4 ,it is possible that some relics of past grandeur may yet remain to be worn on state occasions4 ,with that no one can quarrel2 but it is a mistake to make great and unwarrantable sacrifices in order to replenish the exhausted wardrobe on its former scale of magnificence4 ,it is better far to accept fate1 to comply with the inevitable1 and not waste time and strength in fighting against the iron gates of destiny4 ,no one1 whose esteem is worth having1 will respect us less because we dress according to our means1 even if those means should have dwindled into insignificance4 ,but if we toil unduly to make ourselves appear to be something that we are not1 we shall earn contempt and reap disappointment4 ,it is far more noble-minded to bid farewell to all our greatness1 than to catch greedily at any of the outlying tinsel that may remain here and there4 ,this indicates good taste more than anything4 ,to be what we are1 really and simply1 and without pretension1 is one of the greatest proofs of good feeling which1 in matters of dress1 resolves itself into good taste4 ,there is nothing more hateful than pretension4 ,the fable of the ,frog and the ,bull illustrates the absurdity of it4 ,yet it is of every-day occurrence1 and we continually meet with instances of it4 ,persons in humble class of life will often ape their betters1 dressing after them1 and absolutely going without necessary food in order to get some piece of finery4 ,fine gowns of inconvenient length1 expanded over large crinolines--silk mantles richly trimmed1--often conceal the coarsest1 scantiest1 and most ragged underclothing4 ,we have seen the most diminutive bonnets1 not bigger than saucers1 ornamented with beads and flowers and lace1 and backed up by ready-made chignons1 on the heads of girls who are only one degree removed from the poor-house4 ,servant-girls who can scarcely read1 much less write1--who do not know how to spell their names1--who have low wages1--and1 as little children1 had scarcely shoes to their feet1--who perhaps never saw fresh meat in their homes1 except at ,christmas1 when it was given them by some rich neighbour1--spend all their earnings on their dress1 appear on ,sundays in hats and feathers1 or bonnets and flowers1 and veils and parasols1 and long trailing skirts1 which they do not care to hold up out of the dirt1 but with which they sweep the pavement4 ,can it be said that this is good taste8 ,assuredly not4 ,it could not well be worse4 ,the question of station and of means does not seem to rule the world in general4 ,everything is considered to be suited to every body2 and the maid-of-all-work does not hesitate to copy1 to the utmost extent of her power1 the dress of the greatest lady in the land4 ,she does not see why she should not dress as she likes1 and is not restrained in her wish by good taste4 ,we do not wish to argue in favour of any monopoly1 but we confess that we should like to see people of all classes regulated by good taste in matters of dress4 ,on the ,continent we find the evils we complain of partially remedied by national costumes2 but these are fast diminishing1 and are only to be found in all their perfection in those parts into which the railways have not yet penetrated4 ,yet1 who does not look with pleasure upon the clean white cap of the ,french servant1 or bonne1 who goes to market and to church without a bonnet1 and with only her thick snow-white cap8 ,who does not delight in the simplicity of dress which the ,french1 ,norman1 and ,breton peasants still preserve8 ,contrast it with the dress of our servant-girls1 with their crinoline and absurd little bonnets1 and say which is the best taste4 ,after all that can be said there is no doubt that one of the objects of dress should be to enable people to do what they have to do in the best1 the most convenient1 and the most respectable manner4 ,at all events it should not interfere with their occupation4 ,did our readers ever see a ,london housemaid cleaning the doorsteps of a ,london house8 ,it is a most unedifying sight4 ,as the poor girl kneels and stoops forward to whiten and clean the steps her crinoline goes up as her head goes down1 and her person is exposed to the gaze of policemen and errand-boys1 who are not slow to chaff her upon the size and shape of her legs4 ,can this be called dressing in good taste8 ,would it not be wiser to discard the crinoline altogether till the day's work is done1 and the servants make themselves tidy for their tea and their evening recreation4 ,in some families this is insisted on4 ,but1 on the other hand1 it is complained against as an infringement upon the liberty of the subject1 which is an unreasonable complaint1 as the subject may go elsewhere if she dislikes to have her liberty so interfered with4 ,good taste in dress is a question which is1 by no means1 above the consideration of old and elderly women4 ,there are some who never can imagine themselves old4 ,whether it is owing to the eternal youth of their mind and spirits1 or to their vanity1 we do not pretend to say2 but one thing is certain that again and again have we been both amused and disgusted by the way in which old women dress themselves4 ,a lady with whom we were acquainted used to dress in blue or white gauze or tarlatan1 or any light material she could lay her hands on1 when she was past eighty1 and she vainly imagined that1 with an affectation of youth in her gait1 and with the aid of the rouge-pot1 she could conceal her age4 ,she would trip into the room like a young girl1 with her light gossamer dress floating around her as if she were some sylph in a ballet4 ,she was a wonderful woman for her age1 and1 no doubt1 had been so accustomed to the remarks that were continually made upon her agility and appearance1 that she had at last grown to think herself almost as young as she was sixty years ago4 ,it was but the other day that we saw an old woman with grey hair wearing a little hat placed coquettishly upon her head1 with a large chignon of grey hair filling up the back6 ,sometimes we have seen old women spurning the sober tints which accord with their years1 and coming out dressed like ,queens of the ,may in garlands and flowers2 and wearing bonnets that would be trying even to a belle of eighteen4 ,but when people resolutely refuse to accept the fact that they are no longer young1 it is not surprising that they should run into some extremes1 and offend against good taste by dressing in a style utterly unsuited to their years4 ,and yet there is no more pleasing sight than a good-looking old woman1 who is neither afraid or ashamed to recognize the fact of her age1 and wears the quiet and sober colours which belong to her years1 modifying the fashion of the day to suit herself1 that she may neither ape the young nor affect to revive in her own person the fashions of by-gone days4 ,affectation of all kinds is detestable4 ,so also there are rules for the young1 which1 if attended to1 will prevent their offending against good taste4 ,the young are1 of all people1 without excuse4 ,the freshness of youth has a beauty of its own which needs but little outward adornment4 ,the ravages of time have not to be repaired4 ,youth has charms of its own1 and the more simply it is attired the better4 ,everything is in favour of the young4 ,when they adopt elaborate or rich toilets1 when they make flower-gardens of their heads1 or wear strong and glaring colours1 the chances are that they disfigure themselves4 ,a young girl should never make herself conspicuous by her dress4 ,let it be as good as she pleases1 as costly as she can afford1 still let it be simple and unobtrusive4 ,let the general effect be pleasing and grateful to the eye2 but at the same time let it be impossible to say in what it consists1 or to remember her on account of any peculiarity in it4 ,if she is beautiful1 let her dress aid her beauty by not drawing away the attention from it4 ,if she is plain1 let her not attract all eyes to her plainness4 ,let not people say of her1 ,did you see that ugly girl with that scarlet feather in her hat8 or1 with that bonnet covered with pearl beads1 contrasting with her dark and sallow complexion8 or1 with that bright green gown1 which made her look so bilious8 ,it is in small things1 as well as in great1 that good taste shows itself4 ,well-fitting gloves and boots1 things of small moment in themselves1 tell of a neat and refined taste4 ,quiet colours1 well assorted2 an absence of glare and display1 nothing in extremes1 betoken a correct eye and good taste4 ,it is1 then1 in the harmony of colour2 in the use of a few colours at one and the same time2 in dressing according to their means1 according to their station1 as well as according to their age1 that people may be said to show their good taste in dress4 ,there are1 doubtless1 other points of detail which will suggest themselves to the minds of our readers2 but we are confident that1 if attention is given to the points which it has been our wish to place prominently before them1 there will be fewer of those startling peculiarities and eccentricities which offend against good taste4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iii4--,,fashion ,,in ,,dress ,it is very difficult to say what constitutes ,fashion4 ,we allow our ,french neighbours to prescribe what we shall wear1 and at certain seasons of the year1 ,english milliners of any pretension flock to ,paris to learn their lesson1 and on their return to ,london1 announce to the public and to their customers that they are prepared to exhibit the greatest novelties in style1 form1 and colour1 which they have been able to procure4 ,the variety that is presented1 as having been just imported from ,paris1 convinces us that there exists everywhere1 even in the great ,french capital itself1 the greatest possible diversity of taste2 and1 if we may judge from the extraordinary specimens which are introduced to our notice1 we should infer that the ,parisian taste is by no means faultless4 ,we do not mean to insinuate that a really well-dressed ,frenchwoman is not better dressed than most ,english women1 or that the ,french have not a peculiar knack of putting on their clothes to the best advantage2 for there is no doubt upon the matter4 ,but1 if we maybe allowed to judge from the examples brought over to us in the shape of bonnets and head-dresses1 and other articles of a lady's toilette1 we should say that there must be a considerable inclination among our foreign neighbours to what is both gaudy and vulgar4 ,when anyone complains to a milliner of the style of any of the articles she has on sale1 she replies that she is obliged to provide for all kinds of taste2 that it would not answer her purpose to limit her supply to those who have a faultless eye2 that1 in order to make her business succeed1 she must be prepared to accommodate all persons1 and cater for them all alike1 studying to please each individual in whatever way she may be disposed to be pleased1 and never presuming to do more than merely suggest some slight improvement or modification4 ,ladies are apt to take offence at their taste being too severely criticized1 and dressmakers do not always find it the easiest possible task to steer clear between securing their own reputation as artistes of fashion and good taste1 and avoiding giving offence to their patronesses4 ,it is the public who are to blame4 ,when some one remonstrated with ,braham for his florid and vulgar style of singing1 he replied1 it was the people and not he who was at fault4 ,it was alike his duty and interest to please the public1 and not to instruct it4 ,he sang to be listened to and encored1 not to be hissed and snubbed4 ,it does not answer for any tradesman not to be able to supply what his customers demand4 ,it is the public who are to blame4 ,if they insist upon being supplied with certain articles of consumption or of dress1 the shopkeepers have no alternative but to supply them4 ,if ladies prefer what is ugly and misbecoming1 the dressmakers have to make it4 ,it is the old story over again of the demand creating the supply4 ,there will always be persons who do not know how to dress well2 who have ideas of their own to which they are determined to give expression4 ,when they think they are doing their best1 and are bent upon astonishing the world1 they somehow appear to the worst advantage4 ,they endeavour to rival their neighbours in strength and variety of colours2 and1 if they see a beautiful woman becomingly dressed1 they at once copy that woman1 quite regardless of their personal appearance1 which may be the least fitted to the style which has taken their fancy4 ,it reminds us of the story of a fashionable shoemaker1 who1 having made a pair of shoes for a lady who was remarkable for the beautiful shape of her foot1 was applied to by another lady to make her a pair exactly similar to ,lady ,so and ,so's4 ,the shoemaker looked with dismay at his new customer's foot1 which bore no resemblance whatever to that of her friend4 ,at last he looked up at the lady1 shrugged his shoulders1 shook his head1 and said3 ,madam1 it is impossible2 you must bring me a foot like her ladyship's before ,i can make a shoe like hers4 ,the rebuke was well deserved3 but his honesty lost him a good customer4 ,the assortment and choice of colours1 though chiefly a matter of taste1 is yet under the direction of fashion4 ,at one time one colour predominates1 at another time another2 while two colours may be used together at one time1 which at another are almost interdicted4 ,there is nothing more capricious1 more inexplicable1 more wayward1 than fashion4 ,it is true that1 taken as a whole1 there is a certain conformity in the rules it prescribes4 ,for instance1 as the crinoline diminishes in size and the area which petticoats cover in their circumference is lessened1 so also bonnets have grown smaller1 and the enormous plait of hair which has taken the place of the chignon1 keeps in countenance the extraordinary length of ladies' trains4 ,if any one cares to be amused she might investigate the fashions of by-gone days4 ,the transitions are wonderful1 and do not appear to be guided by any rule4 ,those of the gentlemen are simply absurd4 ,since the days of ,vandyck1 there has been nothing attractive in their dress2 nothing picturesque4 ,it has been as ugly as possible1 and continues to be so4 ,the nearest approximation to anything less hideous than the present fashion is in the knicker-bockers1 which are generally worn by sporting men and pedestrians--men who shoot1 or who are addicted to walking tours4 ,there was an attempt on the part of one or two individuals to introduce them1 by means of velvet and silk hose1 for evening wear2 but the example was not followed1 and the swallow-tailed coat still prevails4 ,in order to dress strictly according to fashion1 and to comply with the ever-changing caprice1 it is necessary to have a large and well-filled purse1 and a wardrobe that is not too extensive2 because1 as the fashion varies with almost every season1 a large number of dresses involves either a great and needless waste of money1 or the necessity of always being a little behind the fashion of the day4 ,besides which1 as this capricious goddess has prescribed what shall be worn for driving1 for walking1 for morning1 noon1 and night2 and demi-toilettes and full-dress toilettes have each their own peculiarities1 it really becomes a very serious item of expenditure for such ladies as make it the business of their lives to follow the fashions of the day4 ,fashion prescribes rules for all4 ,all classes of society bow1 more or less1 to her decrees4 ,the fine lady who frequents the ,court1 as well as the servant-girl who sweeps out the area of a ,london lodging-house1 and all the intermediate classes1 are guided by ,fashion4 ,crinolines and bonnets prove this1 as well as the length of the skirts which are suffered to trail along in all the dirt and dust of pavement and crossings4 ,it always takes some time before a fashion which has been adopted by the higher orders prevails among the lower2 but1 if it is a fashion which survives beyond the moment1 it invariably finds its way downward in the course of time4 ,fashion prescribes the size and shape of bonnets1 the make of gowns1 their length and their size--the number of breadths and gores--the trimmings1 the petticoats1 which have become like a second gown1 and all the other paraphernalia of a lady's toilette4 ,there is no part of a lady's dress too minute for her inspection and care and legislation4 ,the colour of gloves1 the dye of hair1 the application of false hair1 the make of boots and shoes1 the choice of ornaments1 are all ordered and arranged4 ,fashion is a sort of act of uniformity1 which would bring all flights of fancy within certain prescribed limits4 ,it defines the boundaries within which ladies may safely indulge their own conceits4 ,the best-dressed persons are not always those who are led blindfold by the prevailing fashion1 nor by any means those who are strong-minded enough to defy it1 and set it at nought4 ,any one who defies the fashion of the day1 and1 when long skirts and small saucer-like bonnets prevail1 dares to walk abroad with very short petticoats1 which she holds up unnecessarily high2 displaying a foot and ankle that had better be hidden out of sight2 who spurns a crinoline1 and therefore looks like a whipping post2 who wears a many-coloured shawl because cloaks and mantles are the rage2 who adorns her head with a bonnet that is of the coal-scuttle cut1 over which she fastens a large1 coloured gauze veil1 because she desires to protest1 as far as she can1 against the innovations of fashion2 such a one will never attract1 nor influence the public mind4 ,she will provoke a smile1 but will never recommend her own peculiar and independent style of dress4 ,and she who follows fashion like a slave1 wears what is prescribed without regard to her own personal appearance2 who considers neither her age1 nor her figure1 nor her station1 nor her means2 who simply allows herself to be an advertisement for the milliner she employs1 will often appear eccentric1 and generally ill-dressed4 ,it is never sufficiently considered that every one has her points1 and that nothing so much offends as discrepancies4 ,we remember a discussion upon female beauty1 when instances were brought forward of persons who were conspicuous for their good looks1 but who could not boast of one really perfect feature4 ,the effect of the tout ensemble was good1 and most attractive1 but when the faces were pulled to pieces1 it was impossible to say in what the beauty consisted4 ,one of the critics wisely said1 that it was to be found in the perfect harmony of feature and expression4 ,all the features were on the same scale2 no one feature overpowered the other1 and the expression called into activity all features alike1 so that there was perfect unity and harmony throughout4 ,to compare small things with great1 we should say that this supplies a good rule for dressing well4 ,there should be no discrepancies4 ,it should be harmonious1 not only in itself1 but harmonious with the person whom it is intended to adorn4 ,it should be in keeping with face and figure4 ,no two persons are exactly alike4 ,every one has her points1 which constitute her beauty and her charm2 and these points have to be attended to carefully4 ,a woman who does this1 with due regard to the rules of fashion1 will always be well dressed4 ,she will not buy or wear a thing simply because it has just come from ,paris1 nor be influenced by milliners and shopmen who assure her that the ugly article they exhibit is original in shape and style4 ,though fashion dictates1 and she follows1 yet she follows in a way of her own4 ,she is never behind fashion1 and never in advance of it4 ,perhaps her most admired toilette has been made at home1 under her own eye1 which has directed how far a compliance with the prevailing fashion suits her4 ,she does not startle the world with a combination of strange colours1 nor entertain her friends with a peculiarity of style and make4 ,what she wears is prettily arranged1 well made and well put on1 and the effect is both pleasing and refreshing1 and people inquire what house in ,paris she patronizes4 ,she is prudent2 and1 keeping her own secret1 does not offend the fastidiousness of her fashionable friends by letting the truth eke out1 that her much-admired ,parisian toilette is1 in every sense1 of home-produce1 but smiles at their approval1 and follows her own plan1 which is so successful in its results4 ,her costume is not expensive1 and she contrives that1 whatever she wears shall not offend against the laws of ,fashion1 while she declines to be its slave4 ,she is not addicted to sham jewellery2 she has no weakness for tinsel4 ,what she wears is good of its kind1 even when it is not costly4 ,wherever she goes1 she impresses everyone with the fact that she is a true gentlewoman4 ,she knows what is suited to her station and age1 and1 without conceit1 understands what are her points4 ,she is well aware that no woman can afford to be indifferent to her personal appearance1 and that no law1 human or divine1 requires her to disfigure herself4 ,a married woman has to bear in mind that she must dress not only to please her husband1 but also to reflect credit upon his choice4 ,the unmarried to impart to herself as prepossessing an appearance as will be likely to attract the opposite sex4 ,neither before or after marriage can any woman neglect her person with impunity4 ,nor can she set her face entirely against the fashions of the day4 ,she may modify them to suit herself1 and to bring out her points2 but she cannot safely disregard or defy them4 ,fashion gives1 as it were1 the key-note--supplies the hint1 which is taken and followed as people can4 ,it is absurd to suppose that its laws are stringent1 and not elastic1 or that all persons must conform exactly to its dicta4 ,who shall say that all must dress alike8 ,tall and short1 fat and lean1 stout and scraggy1 cannot be made equally subject to the same rule4 ,in such a matter as dress there must be some margin allowed for individual peculiarities4 ,nature has not made us all in the same mould2 and we must be careful not to affront nature1 but must accept her gifts and make the best of them4 ,there is one point connected with the following of fashion which requires some attention1 and which1 if attended to1 will preserve us from incongruities4 ,we allude to the disposition of some persons to use various fashions together4 ,they are inclined to be eclectic4 ,they select from by-gone fashions1 and endeavour to blend them with those which prevail4 ,the result is a painful incongruity4 ,who would dream of placing a ,grecian portico to an ,elizabethan building8 ,why then endeavour to combine old fashions with new8 ,why attempt to wear a bonnet of almost primitive form with dresses of modern dimensions and style8 or why wear flounces when they are out of fashion1 and full skirts when everything is gored into plainness8 ,it is necessary to pay some attention to the present style of dress1 if ladies desire to avoid peculiarities and wish to please4 ,but it1 of course1 requires a certain sense of propriety and of fitness4 ,a bonnet of diminutive form which suits to perfection a young girl with a small oval face and slender throat1 is quite misapplied when adopted by a woman of a certain age1 whose figure has escaped beyond the limits of even embonpoint1 whose throat is not perceptible1 and whose face and head are large4 ,she requires something of more ample dimensions1 that bears some affinity in size with the head and face it is intended to ornament2 something which will modify1 if not conceal1 the imperfections which time has developed4 ,a dress of a light and airy kind does not become a matron2 nor can that which suits a slight and elastic figure be worn with impunity by what is called a comely dame4 ,fashion prescribes all sorts of rules about breadths1 gores1 flounces1 and such like1 and these are the hints which she gives1 and which ladies must take and apply to themselves to the best advantage4 ,there is ample margin allowed for each one to adopt what is best suited to her own particular style of beauty4 ,perhaps there never was a time when so much liberty was allowed to ladies to dress according to their own fancy4 ,of course we mean within certain limits4 ,if any one will consent to keep within those limits1 and not do actual violence to the decrees of fashion1 she may1 to a considerable degree1 follow her own fancy4 ,if the general idea which fashion has submitted to society as the sine qu non of being well dressed is borne in mind1 she is very tolerant of the various modifications which ladies1 for the most part1 wisely adopt1 that they may not make guys of themselves4 ,nothing illustrates this more than the hats and bonnets which are worn4 ,their variety is so great that their names might be termed legion2 and a pretty woman may adopt all kinds of conceits1 providing she neither offends the eye nor defies the prevailing fashion4 ,one may come out as a shepherdess1 another like a ,spanish cavalier in the time of ,charles the ,second1 another with a three-cornered hat such as state-coachmen wear on drawing-room days1 only of course a very small edition of it2 another with a little coquettish hat that suggests one of ,watteau's most successful pictures2 but no one may wear one of those large mushroom bonnets which were worn some five-and-thirty years ago1 and which were ornamented by large bows of ribbon stiffened with wire1 and by great nosegays of flowers which resembled a garden flower-pot4 ,it is only on condition that no violence is done to the decrees of fashion or to the ideas she would suggest1 that so much liberty is allowed4 ,we think that the result is most satisfactory1 as there is an infinite variety to please the eye1 and there are abundant opportunities for every one to attend to her own comfort and ease4 ,of course there have been1 and still are1 certain fashions which are quite dirigueur among the really fashionable world1 and which are annoying to the public generally1 such as large crinolines and long skirts1 and more especially the long trains which are now in vogue4 ,crinolines1 though reduced in size1 are not discarded1 except in some instances which1 as our eyes are not yet accustomed to their absence1 present a scarcely decent appearance4 ,one word more before we close this division of our subject4 ,if persons are inclined to rail against ,fashion and denounce it1 let them remember that there is a fashion in everything4 ,in thought1 in politics1 in physic1 in art1 in architecture1 in science1 in speech1 in language1 and even in religion we find fashion to have a guiding and governing power4 ,how can we otherwise account for the change which has taken place in language1 which is not the same that it was fifty years ago8 ,there are phrases which have become obsolete2 there are words which have been almost lost out of our vocabulary1 which have changed their meaning1 or which fashion has tabooed4 ,and in other matters we find alterations which can only be accounted for by the fact that fashions change4 ,they are not the result of development simply1 which may and must frequently occur in sciences2 but they are the result of those variations in custom and usage for which it is impossible to find any more expressive word than that of ,fashion4 ,why then should not dress have its fashions also1 and why should not those fashions change as time advances1 and why should not fashion rule in this as in other things8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,iv4--,,expense ,,of ,,dress4 ,this is a portion of our subject which awakens the liveliest interest in persons of both sexes4 ,it is the complaint of many men of our times that the dress of women is a very costly affair4 ,the complaint is often made apparently under a sense of wrong1 as if they had been made to suffer from it4 ,some time ago considerable attention was directed to the subject by some letters which appeared in one of the leading journals of the day1 in which grave reflections were made upon the exceeding costliness of dress at the present time4 ,it was said to exceed that of any former age1 and to be the reason why so many young men flinch from the idea of matrimony4 ,among these requirements dress occupies a prominent place4 ,the style and variety of dress which is affirmed to be necessary for young ladies in the highest grade of society renders it no easy matter for them to find men both qualified and willing to afford them sufficient funds to procure what custom had created into a necessity4 ,it may be owing to the quantity of material which the dressmakers require in order to make a dress1 as well as to the variety which fashion has prescribed4 ,at all events1 let people say what they may1 we believe that there is no doubt whatever that the expense of dress has become very much greater than it was thirty years ago4 ,a dressmaker could then make a very first-rate gown1 suited to any function at ,court or elsewhere1 for ten or twelve pounds1 whereas now the most ordinary gown1 suitable to wear only at a family dinner-party1 cannot be made for less than fourteen or fifteen pounds4 ,a ball gown will cost eighteen or twenty pounds2 and in ,paris a thousand francs1 7forty pounds17 is considered nothing out of the way2 and evening and ball dresses often cost two thousand francs each4 ,it is not surprising then that1 if this is the ordinary expense of a lady's dress1 men should hesitate before they embark in matrimony1 and add so large an item to their expenditure4 ,we remember to have heard it said that five hundred a year pin-money was a very small allowance for a young married woman2 that it would require the most wonderful management to enable her to dress well and keep within her income4 ,of course every one knows that there are many women who dress upon infinitely less2 but we are speaking of those who profess to dress well1 and whose position in society requires them to be well dressed4 ,what then is the reason why dress has become so expensive8 ,is it because the materials which are in use are costly1 or is it because the needlewomen are better paid1 and1 wages being higher1 dressmakers' charges are also higher in proportion8 ,we do not believe that either of these are the cause2 but simply that a larger quantity is required1 and that variety has become a sine-qu-non4 ,some years ago the cost of a silk dress was about half what it is now1--not because the price of silk has increased1 but because a much larger quantity is required4 ,perhaps of the two1 silk is cheaper than it used to be2 but where ten and twelve yards sufficed1 twenty and twenty-three are scarcely sufficient4 ,then the variety that is considered indispensable adds to the cost of dress4 ,where three or four dresses constituted the wardrobe of many1 three times that number are now considered a scanty supply4 ,some ladies do not like to wear the same dress twice at the same place2 and1 if they visit in the country1 take with them luggage enough for a twelvemonth1 and appear daily1 and1 in some instances1 three times a day1 in some fresh costume4 ,it may perhaps be said that these are exceptional cases1 but they are not so4 ,ladies-maids1 servants1 and even village girls have more gowns now than persons of the same class had formerly4 ,this adds to the cost of dress1 and makes it altogether a more expensive affair than it used to be4 ,our fore-mothers who rejoiced in farthingales had1 no doubt1 the most costly attire1 but it lasted longer1 and became the inheritance of children and children's children2 besides which their wardrobes were not by any means so expensive as that of a grande dame of #ahge4 ,materials are an important element in the matter of dress1 and we propose1 in the few remarks we shall make on the subject of expense1 to offer some suggestions which shall tend to make it less4 ,in the first place every young lady is without excuse who spends a large sum annually upon her dress1 for she possesses in her youth that which makes the most simple and inexpensive attire the most suitable and becoming4 ,everything is appropriate to youth4 ,the freshest flowers of the garden1 the plainest muslins1 tarlatans and tulles do not come amiss4 ,in the country fresh flowers are more admissible than those that are artificial4 ,in ,london it is the reverse4 ,the heat of a crowded ball-room soon makes the brightest flowers wither2 besides which there would be an affectation in a young lady's making her appearance in a ,london ball-room decked1 like the goddess ,flora1 with real flowers2 while all the world prefer the artificial as the least troublesome and the most enduring4 ,for the young1 cheap and inexpensive materials are often the most effective4 ,heavy silks and satins are out of place4 ,it is more a question of colour and make than material4 ,how often a bright green and white muslin1 or even cotton1 well made and well put on1 worn by a pretty girl with a good complexion and graceful tournure1 puts to shame and thoroughly eclipses a more costly and elaborate toilette6 ,how often we have been charmed by the appearance1 at the breakfast table1 of a young fresh looking girl1 who in her simple and unpretending1 but well-selected attire1 suggests all that is most beautiful in nature1 the early sunrise1 the opening rose-bud1 encased in its calix of tender green6 ,such a sight has refreshed while it has gratified the eye1 and if the young only knew how very little is required to add to those charms which are the property of youth1 they would not be at so much pains to copy those elaborate toilettes which seem to be invented only to repair the inroads and damages of years1 and to enrich the dressmakers1 and which are quite de trop1 quite out of place with the young4 ,many are the materials which suit the young and which are inexpensive4 ,alpacas of various shades1 muslins1 foulards1 tarlatan1 tulle1 light silks1 light in texture as well as colours4 ,these are not expensive materials4 ,we remember at this moment an exceedingly effective costume1 made of white alpaca with a narrow green stripe1 which was worn with a crinoline bonnet trimmed with mauve4 ,the bonnet and dress did not cost more than #b #ajs41 and scarcely as much4 ,it was made at home1 and all that was required for the gown was nothing when compared to the bills which the most ordinary dressmaker would have run up for tapes and buttons1 and hooks and eyes4 ,but dressmakers have their fortunes to make1 and it is well for them that there are people in the world who are rich enough to employ them4 ,some dressmakers refuse to make up what is called the lady's own materials1--that is1 they require their customers to buy the materials of them1 and therefore it is by no means difficult to understand that1 under such circumstances1 a dressmaker's bill may reach any amount1 and their profits become enormous4 ,compared with the supplies of thirty years ago there is no doubt that the materials out of which ladies may make their selection have increased very considerable4 ,the variety of foulards1 of gauzes1 of alpacas1 of camlets1 of poplins1 poplinettes1 and ,japanese silks1 and even of silks themselves1 which vary from three shillings to eight and nine shillings the yard1 of satins1 of velvets1 and velveteens1 have brought dress within the scope of moderate incomes4 ,each year some novelty is introduced1 and a clever hit in the name given to it makes it popular2 just as that of ,japanese silk made people run eagerly after a material of home manufacture1 which is made of silk and cotton4 ,there are a host of other materials cheaper still1 which may be obtained for a few shillings the dress1 some of which are not by any means to be despised4 ,with so great a supply1 it is strange that dress should be so costly2 but the fact is1 that this is an age in which people are more disposed to ape their betters than to dress according to their means4 ,if1 however1 they desire to spend only a small sum1 they must take some trouble about it1 and must contrive how to produce a good result with simple and even common materials4 ,the great improvement in muslins and in calicoes--the good patterns which are printed on common linens--have made it quite inexcusable for people to dress ill4 ,some of the prettiest costumes that we have seen have been made in cheap materials1 and persons who have admired them have been quite astonished to find that they have bestowed their admiration upon an inferior article4 ,for autumn wear there are camlets1 alpacas1 and serge of all colours1 which are designated ,yachting and ,sea-side ,costumes1 but which are suitable for all places4 ,their effect is exceedingly good1 braided or otherwise4 ,they may be got anywhere1 though ,cowes boasts of having the best assortment4 ,we have seen white braided with black1 or with a pattern printed on it in black2 blue1 light and dark2 brown2 green braided in white1 the effect of which has been good2 and we have seen scarlet1 which is very trying1 and more suited for winter4 ,it is effective when toned down with black velvet1 but it looks rather heavy and overpowering4 ,for winter1 there are droguets1 reps in worsted and in silk1 merinos1 tweeds1 linseys1 and velveteens4 ,we do not mention silk1 because it is universally acknowledged that there is nothing so well suited to all seasons4 ,it looks better than anything else1 is the pleasantest to wear1 and may be procured of almost any substance4 ,velveteens have a very good effect--better than most materials2 and when they are braided well1 they are very effective4 ,the black looks the best1 and is the most serviceable2 and when worn with a mantle1 or cloak1 or jacket to match1 it makes one of the best costumes for walking or driving4 ,the brown velveteen is effective4 ,it is considered warm and light1--two most important qualities for clothing2 for1 with the amplitude of modern skirts1 it is absolutely essential that materials should be light as well as warm4 ,for spring and summer it is needless to specify more materials than have been already named4 ,the only point to be considered is that in spring1 dress should be1 in our uncertain climate1 suited to changes of weather1 and temperature1 and should be in harmony with the season when nature is putting on her best apparel1 and woods and fields become hourly more green and full of vegetation4 ,in summer1 dress should be light and cool and quiet2 because1 beneath a glowing sun1 bright colours do not please1 unless they harmonize with the blue sky or green earth4 ,the second important point in matters of dress is the make or cut4 ,upon this depends the question whether cheap materials can be worn4 ,an ordinary stuff or calico well made1 fashionably made1 and well put on1 is never out of place4 ,it1 not unfrequently1 puts to shame many richer materials which are not so well made nor so well selected4 ,this question of make or cut 7call it which you please7 is not sufficiently considered1 especially by the young4 ,some people think no one can be well dressed who is not expensively dressed1 whose gown is not richly trimmed2 but it is a great mistake4 ,many persons are absolutely ill-dressed who spend a fortune upon their clothes4 ,the young should bear in mind that simplicity is what harmonizes best with youth1 but care must be taken to avoid the simplicity of the school-room and of a miss in her teens4 ,we can call to mind a young lady who made her appearance at an evening party in ,london1 where all the world and his wife were collected together1 and when it was necessary to be somewhat smart1 in a rather skimp spotted muslin1 with a black belt and a few black cherries in her hair4 ,she looked1 as the reader will easily believe1 like a young lady in her teens1 who1 as ,byron said1 smells of bread and butter4 ,she was much on the wrong side of twenty4 ,by her side stood a young girl who had not passed nineteen summers1 dressed in the freshest costume of plain white tulle1 with bright turquoise blue flowers in her hair1 the very impersonation of youth and loveliness4 ,the cost of the dress of these two young ladies was about the same1 but the appearance of the two was by no means the same4 ,the one was fresh and simple2 the other simple but unfresh4 ,the one attracted2 the other repelled4 ,at the same time we saw two sisters1 one a blonde and the other dark1 dressed unadvisedly alike in dark blue tarlatan1 with an infinite number of beads round the body1 peplum1 and sleeves4 ,it was in the height of summer1 and the costume looked fusty and oppressive2 while not far off stood a young girl in a white and green tarlatan dress prettily trimmed with old lace and green ribbon1 with one large white flower in her hair--the very type of spring and early summer4 ,none of these costumes were expensive1 but they had widely different results4 ,we return to our former assertion that it is the make which renders a common material wearable in any1--even the very best society4 ,it requires1 of course1 a knowledge of the prevailing fashion1 which may easily be arrived at by the simple process of taking in ,le ,follet1 or some good monthly publication on fashions4 ,it requires also a correct eye and a good taste to select such materials as shall harmonize well with the style which is in favour4 ,it requires1 above all1 a good workwoman1 who knows how to cut out1 how to put in the gores1 how to arrange the breadths1 where to put the fulness2 where to make the dress full1 and where tight1 how to avoid creases1 how to cut the sleeves1 and how to put them in1 how to give the arm sufficient room so that the back shall not pucker1 how to cut the body so that short waisted ladies shall not seem to have too short a waist1 nor long-waisted ladies too long a one4 ,this important question of a good lady's-maid is one upon which depends the probability of being well dressed and economically dressed4 ,it is absolutely necessary for a person of moderate means1 to whom the needless out-lay of a shilling is of real importance1 to make her things at home4 ,if she cannot make them herself1 she must find a clever needle-woman who has learned her business1 and knows milliner's phraseology and the meaning of terms1 and how to cut out to the best advantage4 ,she will then be able to use common material1 buy smaller quantities of them1 and will always look well dressed4 ,her gown will always be ironed when it wants ironing2 it will be mended whenever a stitch has broken loose2 the collars and cuffs will always be clean and of the right shape and size2 and no one will enquire into the quality and cost of the material of which the effect is so pleasing4 ,a lady's-maid that is quick and efficient is the best friend a lady can have who wishes to be well dressed and at a small expense4 ,she saves her wages again and again4 ,but not so with a lady's-maid who does not understand her business4 ,if she is always requiring assistance1 and cannot make the simplest gown without a needle-woman to help her1 and will not attempt a smart dress at all1 or who makes it so slow that either the occasion for which it is required slips by1 or a much longer notice is necessary than the most fashionable dressmaker would demand in the very height of the ,london season1 instead of being useful1 she is an incumbrance4 ,the dressmaker's bill is not avoided4 ,a steady lady's-maid who is quick at her needle and quick with her eye1 can always command good wages and a good place1 and they who possess such a treasure will never be willing to part with her4 ,any one who has not thoroughly gone into the question would not believe what a saving it is to make at home4 ,it is not only that the milliner's bill is saved1 but the materials which are used do not cost so much4 ,nor is this all1 an efficient lady's-maid can clean and turn and re-make dresses so as to give them the look of new4 ,to those who have but small incomes1 it is of great importance not to be under the necessity of making frequent additions to their wardrobes1 and anyone who can1 by good management1 enable them to wear a dress longer than they otherwise would1 saves them1 in the end1 considerable outlay4 ,we have heard ladies say that nothing has provoked them more than the way in which their maids can make up for themselves dresses which they have laid aside4 ,they can1 by dint of sponging and washing1 and pressing1 and ironing by turning1 and many other ways known to them1 make their ladies' cast off clothes look as good as new1 and many a lady has1 before now1 looked with envy upon an old dress which reappears in a new character1 looking quite as fresh and attractive as ever1 under the magic hand of a clever and practical needle-woman4 ,we maintain then1 that1 though the present style of dress may be expensive on account of the enormous quantity of material which is required1 there is no real reason why it should be so costly as it is supposed to be4 ,if ladies will give some attention to the make or cut and style of their dresses1 the most simple materials will look exceedingly effective4 ,it only requires judgment1 good taste1 and some forethought and contrivance4 ,we recommend as of primary importance1 in order to be well and economically dressed1 that people of slender means should have their dresses made at home1 and should secure the services of a clever needle-woman who knows how to cut out and make1 and has learned the mysteries of the art of dressmaking4 ,with her assistance there is no reason why a home-made dress should not bear comparison with those of ,madame ,descon of ,london1 or of ,mr4 ,wirth of ,paris4 ,it is in the style1 that first-class dressmakers excel4 ,it is not in the actual needlework1 which is often a very inferior affair4 ,if1 with the help of ,le ,follet1 ladies will give some attention to the subject of dress1 and will assist their maids with suggestions and approval1 they will find themselves amply repaid1 not only by their own personal appearance1 but also by the small outlay of money4 99 99 99 99 99 ,v4--,,accessories4 ,there are an infinite variety of things which are necessary in order to make a woman thoroughly well dressed1 which do not come under the category of dresses4 ,some of these must be discussed1 as they are of great importance4 ,to begin with bonnets4 ,how much of a lady's toilette depends upon her bonnet6--upon its make1 its shape1 its style1 and the materials it is made of6 ,in these days1 bonnets are much less ugly than they formerly were4 ,they are not set at the back of the head as they used to be1 when they made every woman look as if her neck had been broken4 ,they offered no advantage4 ,they did not screen the face from sun and wind1 and no ladies could keep them on their heads without the help of long pins like skewers4 ,the bonnet1 as now worn1 scarcely deserves the name of a bonnet4 ,it is more like a cap than a bonnet2 but1 such as it is1 it is exceedingly becoming to the young--more especially the style which has most recently come into fashion1 in which1 while it ties behind1 below the chignon or large plait of hair1 long ends of tulle1 or lace1 or blonde fall round the cheek1 and fasten under the chin with a brooch or a flower4 ,the effect of the lace against the face is very preferable to that of the fold of hard ribbon which was generally worn1 and which was utterly devoid of all grace4 ,besides which1 we have heard ladies praise the last fashion as being the most comfortable1 because the absence of strings fastened under the chin enables them to eat1 and sing1 and talk without the necessity of taking off the bonnet1 or of untying it4 ,the extreme lightness of the modern bonnet is in itself a great recommendation4 ,but if a bonnet is intended as a protection to the head from sun1 wind1 and rain1 then1 indeed1 it must be allowed that the present fashion does not fulfil any of those intentions4 ,a small saucer of tulle1 or three-cornered bit of lace ornamented with a few flowers1 which fits on the head in the small space that intervenes between the front hair and the beginning of the chignon1 where it stops in order that the huge mass of hair now worn at the back of the head may be fully exhibited1 does not do more than make a very pretty toilette4 ,useful and serviceable as a protection1 it is not4 ,but when it is contrasted with bonnets which were worn a few years ago1 or with those which our mothers and grandmothers wore1 we confess that we are glad of the change4 ,no lady ought to be indifferent about her bonnet4 ,it is to her face what the setting is to a jewel4 ,the arrangement of the lace or blonde2 the way it accords with the countenance2 the harmony of colour with the rest of the dress1 which in some instances it tones down by its quietness1 and in others brightens and freshens by its contrast2 all these are points to be considered4 ,it is impossible not to be guided by fashion in the selection of a bonnet1 and the same fashion will prescribe how it is to be trimmed1 but1 as a rule1 we protest against beads and tinsel of all kinds4 ,if beads must be used1 they should be used sparingly4 ,we saw a bonnet this year which was nothing but black beads1 which were designated by the high-sounding name of black pearls4 ,the bonnet was heavy1 and very ugly2 and when we remonstrated against it1 we were assured it had just arrived from ,paris--as if the announcement of such a fact was1 in itself1 enough to silence all objections4 ,but it had no effect upon us1 for the bonnet was objectionable on every ground--on account of its weight and appearance4 ,in ,london1 as it is necessary to have a succession of bonnets1 which soon become discoloured and spoilt by the soot and dirt of our great metropolis1 all that really signifies is that they should look fresh and clean1 and in harmony with the dresses with which they are worn2 and therefore it is important they should be cheap4 ,to give three guineas and even more1 and perhaps five1 for a bonnet which will last for only one month is an expensive proceeding2 and when it is considered that really pretty bonnets can be bought for eighteen shillings1 which look quite as well as those which are more costly1 they are without excuse who do not manage to have always one nice-looking bonnet for special occasions4 ,we have known some ladies who are clever and wise enough to make their own bonnets1 and then the cost of them is about five or six shillings each4 ,if the lady's maid is clever and handy1 and knows how to make them1 she will probably make them quite as well as any professed milliners4 ,all that is required is to understand what fits and suits the person for whom the bonnet is intended4 ,every one finds that one shape suits her better than another4 ,the next point in making a bonnet is that the artiste should have a light hand1 and should make it off-hand1 without letting it lie about to get soiled or tumbled4 ,things which are not expensive1 but are made of common materials1 should look fresh4 ,if they have that merit1 no one will examine them very closely to see whether the lace is real1 or the flowers of the first quality4 ,satisfied with the general effect and style1 no inquiries will be instituted into the cost of the materials4 ,people are not so particular where their eye is pleased4 ,on the contrary1 where the effect is good1 cheapness increases its value in the estimation of those who know that one and one make two4 ,no one can make bonnets1 or indeed any kind of headgear1 without one of those hideous figure-heads called blocks1 upon which the bonnet or the cap is made1 without risk of injury4 ,this is the only way in which the milliner can form any idea of the effect of her handiwork4 ,she can turn it about to get the full1 side1 and back view of her performance1 without touching the article in question1 which1 if it is mauled about ever so little1 soon loses its freshness4 ,as we have long ago discarded the picturesque from bonnets1 and the famous chapeau de paille has been laid aside1 there is an advantage in the fact that the present style is unobtrusive2 and strong-minded women who cling tenaciously to their beloved old coal-scuttle shape1 and deride the present fashion1 indignantly exclaiming against it1 ,call that thing a bonnet1 indeed8 certainly tempts us to reply to their prejudiced and absurd reflections1 ,physician1 heal thyself2 for if there is one thing more ugly than another1 it is the old-fashioned bonnet with crown1 curtain1 and poke1 to which a few old maids rigidly adhere--just as ,quakeresses do to their hideous and antiquated style4 ,there is a kind of self-righteousness in the protests of these ladies1 with which we confess that we have no sympathy4 ,we do not mean to recommend them to adopt the bonnet of a girl of eighteen1 but we do advise them to conform to the fashion of the day1 and wear a modified edition of the present and prevailing costume4 ,it is remarkable how straw always retains its hold as a material for bonnets4 ,a straw bonnet1 is1 however1 a more expensive article than one of tulle2 but then it is more enduring1 and better suited for country wear4 ,there is also another advantage in straw3 it never looks vulgar4 ,a country lass in a bonnet of silk1 or lace1 or tulle1 does not look one-half as well as one in a straw bonnet1 neatly trimmed4 ,straw is becoming to persons of all ages and of every station4 ,it makes a vulgar woman look less vulgar1 and the lady more refined4 ,though common1 it is never so in an offensive sense4 ,caps have become an important item1 from the fact that women of all ages wear something of the kind4 ,the young girl who has passed from girlhood into matrimony1 considers it necessary that some of those little caps made of lace and ribbons and which have such a coquettish look about them1 should form part of her trousseau4 ,she is as glad to exercise her new privilege of wearing a cap as an undergraduate is of wearing his cap and gown4 ,it is a sign that she has passed to what she considers the higher state1 although she knows that there are many high authorities for the contrary2 but she remembers that doctors differ1 and she hails her privilege as one to which she has been always taught to look forward4 ,what can be more becoming than some of those jaunty caps which seem to mock at age8 ,here1 again1 we have a manifest improvement in the head-gear of ancient times4 ,think of the turbans1 the gigantic hats and caps of blonde which were made to stand erect by means of wire1 and which surrounded the face like fans at full stretch1 or 7more gracious simile7 like the nimbus round the head of a medival saint4 ,contrast these with the little caps which ornament the head with lace1 as only lace can ornament it1 and you will see at once how superior the present fashion is4 ,it is not only that these pretty and mysterious fabrics of lace and ribbon are an ornament to the loveliest and most youthful2 but they have worked a revolution in the caps of elderly ladies4 ,instead of the cap with its frill of blonde intermixed with narrow ribbon or small flowers1 fitting close to the face like a fringe and tying under the chin1 we see small and becoming head dresses of lace1 which sufficiently furnish the cheeks and cover the hair4 ,where it can be done1 the cap of the most elderly woman should appear to dress and furnish her head rather than her face1 though1 if need be1 it can be made to soften the asperities of age where they have marked the countenance4 ,mantles or cloaks are a difficult question4 ,when everybody of every station wears a cloak or mantle we are disposed to recommend shawls1 especially as a really good ,indian shawl cannot be imitated1 and denotes the quality and condition of the wearer4 ,every servant girl1 every maid of all work1 has her ,sunday cloak4 ,none but the rich can sport an ,indian shawl4 ,it requires falling shoulders and a tall and graceful figure4 ,it should not be fastened round the throat as if the wearer suffered from a severe cold in her throat2 but it should have the appearance of being loosely put on2 neither fastened tightly on1 nor falling off4 ,square shawls are always more ugly than not4 ,if the wearer has not a very erect carriage1 and if her shoulders are not well thrown back1 the chances are that the effect of a square shawl will be anything but pleasing4 ,if the lady stoops1 or is at all round-shouldered1 the shawl will have the effect of a window that has been cracked by a stone--it will look starred--it will not be smooth and even1 but will present the appearance of lines radiating from the defective shoulders4 ,for grace there is nothing like a scarf shawl1 but only a few can1 or know how to1 wear it4 ,under these circumstances a cloak or a mantle are safer4 ,there is an infinite variety to choose from1 but as the names and the fashion vary year by year it is useless to specify any4 ,for the same reason1 this constant change1 it is best not to invest much capital in the purchase of one4 ,young people can wear smaller and shorter mantles than their elders1 who require something larger and more imposing4 ,in winter there is nothing to compare to a seal skin2 so much so that even an imitation is not to be despised4 ,velvets are ladylike1 but they are expensive1 and have not the durability of a seal skin4 ,velveteen cloaks are good and reasonable4 ,blue cloth or serge1 braided with black1 look well1 and have been in favour for some time4 ,we have seen a grey cloth cloak braided with black which has been much admired2 also one of dark green cloth lined with grey1 and1 vice vers1 of grey lined with green4 ,for winter1 the effect of lining a cloth cloak with another colour in good contrast is decidedly good4 ,but everything depends upon the shape and cut of the cloak4 ,it is the shape that tells far more than the material4 ,in ,france we find gloves and shoes have a prominent place among the accessories of a lady's toilette4 ,to be bien chaussee et bien gantee is essential to being well dressed4 ,good1 well fitting gloves and shoes tell more than most other things among the ,french4 ,at least a somewhat shabby and unpretending gown and bonnet1 if accompanied by gloves that are of a good quality and colour and that fit well1 and by shoes or boots that also fit well1 and are of good style and make1 will pass muster anywhere1 while the reverse will fail4 ,it is remarkable that there is nothing which distinguishes a foreigner from an ,englishwoman more than her gloves4 ,they fit like a glove2 they are of a good colour1 according well with the rest of the costume1 neither too light nor too dark1 but rather light than dark4 ,there are no ends or corners of the fingers which are not well filled2 there are no creases indicative of the gloves being of a wrong size1 nor are they put on crooked with a twist given to the fingers1 so that the seams of the glove do not appear straight4 ,in short1 a ,frenchwoman does not put on her glove anyhow as an ,englishwoman does4 ,to her it is a matter of great importance2 to our country-woman it is a matter of indifference4 ,we think the ,frenchwoman right1 because it is by what are called trifles that good and also great effects are produced4 ,we come now to an accessory of considerable importance--the hair4 ,as a great amount of time is expended upon hair-dressing1 and as no one ever thinks of wearing it in its natural state1 and as nothing is more under the influence of fashion than the hair1 it has become by consent of all an accessory of great importance4 ,will any one affirm that it is a matter of indifference how the hair is dressed8 ,whether in plaits or bows8 ,whether in a crop1 or twisted up in a coil8 ,there is nothing which affects a lady's personal appearance more than the style in which she dresses her hair4 ,we confess that we have a strong prejudice against a too submissive following of the fashion4 ,because in the first place we deny that fashion is always in the right1 and in the second it rarely happens that the same style exactly suits two persons alike4 ,nothing requires more consideration than the hair4 ,it is one of a woman's greatest ornaments4 ,we have high authority for saying this4 ,hair should always have the appearance of being well cared for4 ,it should set off the shape of the head if it is good1 and not aggravate any of its defects4 ,a small head1 well set on1 is a great beauty4 ,it tends more than anything else to that distinguished look which enhances all other beauty4 ,beauty1 if accompanied by a look of refinement1 is worth more than mere animal beauty1 and nothing is more indicative of refinement and noble birth as a well-shaped head4 ,it is the head which gives the impression of intellectual power4 ,the well formed brow should not be demoralized by ringlets1 which are suggestive only of a wax doll1 nor should it be disfigured by being surmounted by a kind of cushion or roll of hair which gives the idea of weight and size4 ,nor should the hair have the appearance of a bird's nest1 and look tumbled and untidy4 ,this was lately the beau ideal of a well dressed head4 ,it was desired that it should appear unkempt and uncombed1 as if it had been drawn through a quickset hedge4 ,the back of the head1 if well shaped1 has a beautiful appearance1 reminding one of a stag1 which is so graceful in look and motion4 ,but when it is disfigured by a large mass of hair1 resembling a large pin-cushion1 all that peculiar native grace which we so much admire is lost sight of4 ,when all heads are made to look alike and equally large1 there is no advantage in having a small and well shaped head4 ,it seems as if the study of the present day were to make the head look large1 and to conceal all its points4 ,we miss the smooth braids of hair which set off the expanse of forehead1 and the coils of plaits of hair1 which ornamented1 but did not conceal the back of the head4 ,we miss the glossy look of the hair which indicated care1 and prefer it infinitely to that which simulates neglect4 ,it is perfectly true that one style does not suit all persons alike1 any more than that the powder which was worn by our great-grandmothers was equally becoming to all4 ,a low forehead1 if the points of the brow are good1 should have the hair drawn off it1 whereas a high forehead which does not betoken any great intellectual power is disfigured by the same process4 ,smooth braids will not become a long face1 nor puffs a broad one4 ,a forehead which is already too high cannot bear to be heightened by coronets and cushions of hair1 nor a countenance which indicates weakness to be made weaker still by limp luxurious curls4 ,a stern face requires to be softened1 while a weak one requires strength4 ,the hair can generally do this4 ,it depends upon how it is dressed4 ,they who are no longer young endeavour to impose upon the world by the use of wigs and fronts4 ,these are an abomination1 and in every instance they are easy of detection4 ,there is something in the way in which false hair protests against the face and the face against it1 which infallibly exposes it to be false4 ,a lady with all the signs of years about her face makes her age the more apparent by the contrast of glossy dark hair which belongs to youth4 ,why is she afraid to wear her own grey hair8 ,grey hairs are no reproof1 and we are quite sure they would harmonize better with the other marks of age than the wigs and fronts which prevail4 ,there is something in the white hair of age which has a charm of its own4 ,it is like the soft and mellow light of sunset4 ,but unfortunately an old woman is not always inclined to accept the fact that she is old4 ,she would rebel against it1 but rebellion is useless4 ,the fact remains the same4 ,she is old notwithstanding her rouge pot and her front1 and she is growing older day by day4 ,jewellery is another accessory4 ,jewels1 real jewels1 are in the possession of only a few4 ,they are so costly that only millionaires or the heirs of heirlooms can have them4 ,they are very beautiful1 and have this one merit1 that a few jewels1 judiciously selected and worn1 make a person well dressed at once4 ,a diamond necklace and brooch1 diamond earrings1 and a few diamond stars glittering in the hair1 will make almost a shabby dress pass muster at ,court4 ,but jewellery is a term that is applied to ornaments generally1 and not to jewels only4 ,sham jewellery is an abomination4 ,it is a lie1 and a pretension4 ,at no time was so much sham jewellery made and worn4 ,every damsel has her brooches and her earrings4 ,in nine cases out of ten they are mere trumpery1 but1 such as they are1 no maid of all work will go out for her ,sunday walk without her brooch and earrings and chain4 ,she must have her locket too1 fastened round her throat with black velvet1 but it is all1 with the exception of the velvet1 a sham4 ,ladies too have a weakness for sham jewellery4 ,they will wear massive bracelets1 cameo brooches of target dimensions1 earrings1 chains1 all of what they pleasantly call ,french manufacture4 ,it is called ,french in the shops in order to soften down its imposture1 and to play upon the weakness of our country women who are apt to think that whatever is ,french must be good4 ,but in many cases they are of ,birmingham manufacture4 ,we enter our protest very strongly against the use of sham jewellery1 though we must own without much hope of success1 for1 it must be admitted1 that a great quantity of it is exceedingly pretty4 ,we are not surprised that it should be popular1 for who can resist the opportunity of making herself fine and beautiful for ever at the cost of a few shillings1 which is all that is necessary to lay in a fair stock of jewellery4 ,this sham jewellery is continually mistaken for real1 so good is the resemblance4 ,if a duchess were to wear it everyone would take for granted that it was real1 because she would not be supposed to wear anything that is unreal4 ,we have heard of a lady who1 possessing but very few jewels1 always makes up for the deficiency by wearing sham diamonds4 ,they are good of their kind1 and no one ever suspects them to be false1 simply because there is no reason why she should not have real diamonds1 but1 on the contrary1 so far as the world knows1 every reason why she should4 ,in the use of jewellery more than in anything else we maintain that all persons should dress according to their station and their means4 ,if they can afford it--let them--but we recommend them not to act too much upon the old saying1 that fine feathers make fine birds1 but to bear in mind that being well dressed means something more than well-fitting1 well-selected clothes4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,vi4--,a ,,few ,,words ,,more4 ,it is very difficult1 we might say impossible1 to give any definite rules about dress4 ,fashions change so continually1 that if we were to write a dissertation upon peplums1 and trains1 and gores1 or give directions how to cut them out or make them1 almost by the time this manual should come into circulation1 they would have become portions of the past1 and our hints would seem absurd and out of place4 ,all that has seemed feasible to us we have done1 which has been to give certain hints that the rocks upon which so many split1 who make great endeavours to be well dressed1 might be avoided by our readers4 ,there is no doubt that every one wishes to dress well1 whatever her means may be2 and that no one thinks she dresses ill1 whatever the world may think of her performance4 ,we look at ourselves through coloured glass1 and are apt to take the most favourable view of our own peculiarities-- ,o1 wad some power the giftie gie us1 ,to see ourselves as others see us4 ,there are rules in dress1 as there are in painting1 which1 if observed1 will prevent our making frights of ourselves4 ,anyone who starts for herself on a new line1 and1 throwing to the wind the received laws1 adopts and carries out some crude theory of her own1 however much she may entertain herself by her experiments1 runs a great chance of making a figure of herself1 and will infallibly obtain a reputation for conceit and affectation4 ,no woman1 unless she is a star of great magnitude1 or a belle of note1 can with impunity set at nought the received customs4 ,she is by no means bound to follow fashion so implicitly and subserviently as to mar her own beauty4 ,but a clever woman will always be able to avoid affronting fashion while she takes a line of her own4 ,we use this phrase with a certain limitation1 because if a woman were to take a line of her own unrestricted by certain convenances of society and of fashion1 she would certainly fall into the very error which we should be the first to declaim against1 namely--the error of eccentricity4 ,a due regard for these convenances will ensure that sense of propriety in dress which will make everyone remember both her station and her means4 ,the fine lady will not effect the simplicity of the village girl1 nor the village girl aspire to be mistaken for the fine lady4 ,both will maintain their own positions1 and will be respected while they maintain them4 ,let it also be borne in mind that a bonnet or cap1 mantle or gown1 may be very pretty in itself and very becoming to some persons1 but not necessarily to everyone2 generally to only a few4 ,the young and the old have each their privileges4 ,the one must not dress like the other4 ,though we have seen some who have been foolish enough to forget the years that have passed1 and cannot realise the fact that they are no longer young1 and vie with the youngest in the youthfulness of their attire1 we do not1 we admit1 often find the young endeavouring to make themselves look older than they are4 ,one who has thought much and written well on this subject says1 ,doubtless if there were any way of making old people young1 either in looks or anything else1 it would be a delightful invention2 but meanwhile juvenile dressing is the last road we should recommend them to take4 ,in conclusion1 let every woman bear in mind that dress denotes character1 that there is a symbolism in dress which they who have studied the matter can read without difficulty4 ,,how ,,to ,,carve4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,dinner-,,table4 ,so long as the taste for dinners la ,russe shall continue1 it does not seem absolutely necessary for lady or gentleman to take the trouble to learn to carve4 ,but the idle and wasteful fashion of employing servants to cut up your food after their own fancy1 and of sitting round a board bereft of all appearance of dinner except the salt-cellars and glasses1 to watch flowers and fresh fruit decay and droop in the midst of the various smells of the hot meats1 while waiting to receive such portions as your attendant chooses to bestow on you1 is so opposed to the social1 hospitable1 and active habits of an ,english gentleman that it must soon pass away1 and the tempting spread on the generous board1 pleasant to the eye as well as to the taste1 resume its place4 ,dexterity1 grace1 and tact in carving and distributing the delicate morsels of the dish1 have been many a man's passport into popularity4 ,nor is this accomplishment unworthy of cultivation in the elegant woman2 affording a pretext1 too1 for that assistance of some favoured neighbour which men love to offer to the fair4 ,the number of guests to be invited to constitute an agreeable dinner is no longer restricted to the old rule of never less than the number of the ,graces1 nor more than that of the ,muses4 ,large tables1 well-trained servants1 dinners la ,russe1 and a greater facility in furnishing the viands for the table than formerly existed1 have enabled families to extend the number received1 and dinners of from twelve to twenty are common1 and more convenient than several small dinners4 ,the invitations should be sent out1 if possible1 a fortnight previous to the dinner1 to avoid disappointment2 and etiquette commands the reply to be immediate1 to allow the host to fill up his table in case of refusals4 ,the size of the table must always be a first consideration1 for all enjoyment of the good things spread before them will be marred if people be crowded2 and on the contrary1 the table must not be too large for the party3 nothing can be more gloomy than a scattered company or an empty chair4 ,from #b-a_/b to #c feet is a fair calculation for each person1 especially since the dimensions of crinolines is lessened2 but no more should be allowed4 ,there is another grand point to remember in issuing invitations--the important social arrangement of the guests4 ,no man of good sense would invite the ,,capulets to meet the ,,montagues1--a blunder which inevitably checks many topics of conversation1 throwing a damp on all attempts to promote universal enjoyment4 ,be careful at any rate to assemble1 as far as your convenience and judgment permit1 the elements of harmony1 and you have fulfilled your duty4 ,it is desirable not to have many great talkers1 but if you invariably must have some1 then match them with good listeners4 ,in laying the cloth1 care should be taken1 not only that the table should occupy the centre of the room1 but that the cloth should be spread to leave the pattern in the centre of the table1 with the design proceeding from the head1 and as the cloth is now almost universally left on the table for the dessert1 lay-overs or slips are placed round1 broad enough to reach two or three inches beyond the plate1 to be carefully removed in folds when the crumb-brush has been used after the dinner is removed4 ,the table being spread1 and the dinner announced by the butler or principal waiting servant1 the lady of the house must quietly indicate the arrangement of her guests according to rank1 age1 or any local or occasional distinction1 the master of the house leading out the first lady1 and the mistress following last with the most distinguished gentleman1 who1 seated at her right hand1 is her assistant in the duties of the table4 ,the soup and fish are usually placed on the table together1 and the covers removed at once2 the soup to the lady1 the fish before the master2 or if two soups1 and one should be turtle1 that must be at the head4 ,soup is sent round without inquiry to everybody1 to be accepted or rejected at pleasure4 ,sauterne1 sherry1 or ,madeira may be offered after the soup4 ,after turtle soup1 punch is the correct liquor4 ,the fish is carved and served round in the same way as the soup1 if only one kind of fish be served2 if more1 the choice must be left to the guest4 ,after the soup and fish are served1 the ,removes1 as they are generally termed1 that is1 the pieces de rsistance1 the stronghold of the dinner1 are brought in2 but before they are carved1 two or more entres are usually handed round1 and if champagne be introduced1 this is the time for it to be offered4 ,in carving the removes1 a servant must be at the side of the carver with the plate1 which he must as quickly as possible pass to the guest for whom it is required1 another servant following with the vegetables or sauces4 ,if only one servant be employed1 the vegetables should be on the table1 that the guests may help themselves1 for nothing can be more vexatious than to have to wait for them for a quarter of an hour after you have been served with the meat4 ,the same may be said of the sauces1 so often1 at a scantily-attended table1 withheld until you no longer care for them4 ,such wines as the master of the house chooses to bestow must be offered when needed4 ,water caraffes will be within the reach of all1 and beer1 if called for1 must be served4 ,in the matter of carving1 it should be held in mind that the flavour and the digestibility of the meat depends greatly on the careful mode of cutting it4 ,a delicate stomach may be disgusted with a thick coarse slice1 an undue proportion of fat1 a piece of skin or gristle2 and therefore the carver must have judgment as well as dexterity1 must inquire the taste of each guest1 and minister discreetly to it4 ,this delicate duty is more fully set forth in the direction for carving each dish4 ,one point it is well to remember3 never use a knife when you can help with a spoon4 ,the lighting the dinner-table well is of some importance4 ,people like to see their dinner1 but lamps and candles on the table are liable to accidents4 ,gas is also objectionable2 the heat from it is oppressive1 and the light too glaring to be pleasant to the eyes1 or becoming to female beauty3 chandeliers with wax lights or a suspended and shaded lamp we would recommend as most favourable to the banquet and the company4 ,few dishes are now placed on the table at dessert4 ,there should be at least three glasses placed before each guest1 one of which must be of coloured glass1 and water-tumblers here and there at hand4 ,to each1 also1 a dessert-plate1 a knife1 fork1 nut-crackers1 and d',oyley2 the decanters of such wines as the host chooses to bring forth1 on their proper stands2 and salt-cellars1 and sugar-vases with perforated ladles1 must also be on the table4 ,when the lady of the house perceives that her female guests have taken the wine they wish1 she signifies by a slight inclination the request to leave the table1 and on her rising some chivalrous gentleman opens the door for the ladies to pass into the drawing-room1 where it is the duty of the mistress of the house to offer the usual amusements to her friends--music1 books of drawings1 or conversation2 but few efforts are required among well-bred guests4 ,coffee should then be brought in4 ,if only one servant be employed1 every lady must prepare her own cup4 ,when there are two servants1 the cups are on one tray1 and the second attendant follows with the coffee-pot1 and fills the cup of each person4 ,if the gentlemen in the dining-room do not join the ladies immediately1 coffee is served to them at table when required2 and when they appear in the drawing-room1 tea is handed round4 ,the greatest aid to the pleasure of a mixed party is that ease of manner which the habits of good society produce4 ,when the hosts are composed and cheerful1 the company commonly follow the example1 and awkward restraint disappears4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,carving4 ,though in the present day no lady would be permitted to perform the heavier duties of carving for a large company unassisted1 yet it is by no means inconsistent with the character of a well-bred woman to understand1 and occasionally to practise1 the duty4 ,in the middle classes this duty is not unusually taken by the wife of a man whom business may often detain from his home2 and a skilful and economical carver is no bad helpmate for a hard-working professional man4 ,men ought to know how to carve any joint or dish set before them1 or1 however high their standing in the world1 they appear awkward and clownish2 and1 therefore1 all men should practise the art of carving in their youth4 ,the first necessary provisions for carving are the proper utensils2 the most skilful of artists would be defeated in his aim if he had not his tools4 ,the carving-knives and forks are now made specially for the various dishes4 ,the fish-carvers1 of silver or silvered metal--the touch of steel destroys the flavour of the fish--should be broad1 so that the flakes be not broken in raising4 ,for the joints of meat1 a long1 very sharp steel blade2 and for poultry and game1 a long-handled but short and pointed blade1 to be inserted dexterously between the small joints of the birds4 ,the forks must be two-pronged1 and the dish must be sufficiently near to the carver to give an easy command over it4 ,having the needful utensils for work1 all now depends on the coolness1 confidence1 and dexterity of the carver1 with that small knowledge of anatomy that enables him to know what joints there must be in the piece before him1 and where they are situated4 ,in butcher's meat1 one rule is almost universal3 the slice cut must be cut across the fibres of the meat1 and not along them2 a process which renders it more easy to masticate and digest4 ,the exceptions to this rule are the fillet or under-cut in a sirloin of beef1 and the slices along the bone in a saddle of mutton4 ,in cutting a joint of meat1 the strong fork is used to steady it2 but in carving poultry it is the fork which is most useful in removing the wing and leg by a jerk1 without leaving any ragged remains adhering to the body4 ,all this must be accomplished by dexterity1 not by strength1 and any lady may acquire the art by a little observation and practice4 ,a knife should never be used for pies1 entres1 or sweet dishes2 a spoon wherever a spoon can be used4 ,in helping to choice dishes1 stuffings1 c41 the carver should always calculate the number of the company1 and proportion the delicacies discreetly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,fish4 ,,turbot4 ,there is more art in delicately carving the imperial turbot than any other fish1 in order that every one may be supplied with the rich skin and fins1 so highly appreciated by epicures4 ,it is always brought to table with the white or under-side uppermost1 as this is the most delicate part4 ,the point of the fish-knife must be drawn done the middle to the bone1 and from thence deep cuts made at right angles1 and the squares1 thus made1 carefully raised1 including the portion of fin attached to each4 ,after the upper part is consumed1 the back-bone may be removed1 and the lower part divided in the same way1 neatly1 and without breaking the flakes4 ,brill1 a fish much inferior in quality1 but sometimes introduced as turbot1 must be carved in the same way4 ,illustration ,,cod-,,fish4 ,next to turbot1 a cod's head and shoulders is the handsomest dish of fish brought to table4 ,the fish-knife must be passed through the back from #a to #b1 and then transversely in slices4 ,no fish requires more care in helping1 for when properly boiled the flakes easily fall asunder1 and require a neat hand to prevent the dish looking untidy4 ,with each slice should be sent a portion of the sound1 which is the dark lining underneath the back-bone1 to be reached with a spoon4 ,part of the liver may be given if required4 ,the gelatinous part about the eye1 called the cheek1 is also a delicacy1 and must be distributed justly1 according to the number of the party4 ,illustration ,,salmon1 ,,etc4 ,illustration ,the best part of a large salmon is a thick piece from the middle4 ,it must be carved by first making an incision down the back1 #a to #b1 and a second from #e to #f2 then divide the side #c to #d1 and cut the slices1 as preferred1 from the upper or thick part1 or from the lower richer thin part1 or give a little of each4 ,salmon trout1 as it is usually called1 haddocks1 or large whitings are carved in the same way4 ,,mackerel4 ,it is usual to split the fish from head to tail1 and1 if not very large1 to serve it in two pieces4 ,most of the smaller fishes may be carved in this way1 if too large to serve whole4 ,in every case1 one grand rule in carving fish must be attended to--not to break the flakes1 and to help compactly1 not in detached fragments4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,joints4 ,,haunch ,,of ,,venison1 ,,or ,,mutton ,,as ,,venison4 ,it is very necessary that every one who undertakes to carve a haunch of venison should be aware of the responsibility of his duty4 ,an ill-cut or inferior slice1 an undue portion of fat1 or a deficiency of gravy is an insult to an epicure4 ,the joint must first have a deep incision across the knuckle1 #a to #b1 to allow the gravy to flow2 then long parallel thin slices along the line #c to #d1 with a portion of the fat1 and1 if required1 of the rich kidney fat lying under the loin2 the gravy also1 which is1 or ought to be1 very strong1 must be discreetly portioned out according to the number at table4 ,the haunch of mutton must be carved in the same way4 ,illustration ,,mutton ,,and ,,lamb4 ,,saddle ,,of ,,mutton ,,or ,,lamb4 ,this very handsome joint is commonly and easily carved in long thin slices from each side of the bone1 with a little additional fat cut from the left side4 ,or1 with a little more care1 the newer mode may be followed of carving oblique slices from the centre1 beginning at the bone near the tail1 and cutting the slices through the joint1 thus mingling the fat and lean4 ,a saddle of lamb1 a pretty dish in season1 must be carved in the same way4 ,illustration ,,leg ,,of ,,mutton ,,or ,,lamb4 ,the best part of this joint is in the middle1 between the knuckle and farther end1 and the best way to carve it is to make a deep cut at #a1 and continue to cut thin slices as far as #b1 on each side of the first incision2 but as more fat is usually required than lies with the slice1 a small neat slice may be added from the broad end at #c4 ,the cramp-bone may be extracted1 if asked for1 by cutting down at #d1 and passing the knife under in a semicircle to #e4 ,the delicate fine meat of the under side1 which lies beneath the ,pope's eye1 is sometimes demanded by epicures4 ,illustration ,,shoulder ,,of ,,mutton ,,or ,,lamb4 ,make an incision at #a down to the bone1 which will then afford a deep gap1 from which on each side you may help thin slices1 adding a little fat from the outer edge marked #b4 ,if the demands are more than can be supplied at the first opening1 additional slices may be obtained by cutting down to the blade-bone1 marked #c1 on each side4 ,some of the party may prefer slices from the under side1 the meat of which is juicy1 though less fine in grain2 these must be cut horizontally4 ,,loin ,,of ,,mutton4 ,a loin of mutton is always brought to table with the joints of the bones divided2 it is therefore merely necessary to begin at the narrow end1 and cut off one chop at a time1 with a small portion of the kidney if required1 or of the rich kidney fat4 ,,neck ,,of ,,mutton4 ,the joints of a neck of mutton are always divided before cooking in the same way as those of the loin1 and the carving is simple4 ,it is only necessary to begin at the long bones1 where the best meat lies1 the scrag1 as it is usually called1 being coarse and gristly1 and frequently taken off before the joint is dressed for the table4 ,,lamb4 ,lamb is generally carved in the same way as mutton1 but rather more sparingly1 as there is less meat on the joint2 but when sent to table in the quarter1 as it commonly is when young1 it must be cut up after its own fashion as follows4 ,,fore ,,quarter ,,of ,,lamb4 ,illustration ,this consists of the shoulder1 ribs1 and brisket4 ,the shoulder must first be raised from the rest by passing the knife under the knuckle in the direction of #a1 #b1 #c1 leaving a good portion of meat adhering to the ribs4 ,a slice of butter1 seasoned with pepper and salt1 is laid between them1 and the juice of a lemon squeezed over the ribs4 ,this must remain a minute1 and the shoulder may then be removed to another dish1 for the convenience of carving the rest4 ,the ribs and brisket must then be divided in the line #c1 #d1 the ribs separated1 and brisket cut into small divisions1 giving each person the choice of a rib or piece of the brisket4 ,the shoulder1 if required1 must be cut in the same way as a shoulder of mutton4 ,,beef4 ,,sirloin ,,of ,,beef4 ,the principal joint of beef1 the sirloin1 must be carved outside or inside1 according to the taste of the guests4 ,the rich delicate meat under the bone1 called the fillet1 is carved in parallel slices across the joint and along the grain1 contrary to the usual mode of cutting meat4 ,the outer part is carved in long slices cut down to the bone in the direction #a1 #b1 beginning at the edge1 the brown being the first slice4 ,many prefer to cut the slices across the joint1 beginning in the middle2 certainly easier for the carver1 but destructive to the future appearance of the joint1 nor is the meat so tender thus crossed4 ,a portion of the under fat should be reserved for the upper slices4 ,illustration ,,ribs ,,of ,,beef4 ,must be carved like the upper part of the sirloin4 ,there is no fillet in this joint4 ,it is usual to begin the slices at the thin end4 ,,round ,,of ,,beef4 ,with a sharp thin-bladed knife shave off in a horizontal manner the first slice1 leaving the round flat and smooth4 ,the meat is disfigured if this smoothness is not preserved2 it is therefore necessary that your knife be sharp and your hand steady4 ,it must be served in very thin slices4 ,illustration ,,the ,,aitch-,,bone1 ,,or ,,edge-,,bone ,is usually skewered and boiled with part of the rump1 forming a sort of round1 to be carved the same way as the round4 ,the soft1 marrow kind of fat is at the back of the bone1 below #d1 and must be supplied when required2 the harder fat is at the edge of the meat1 #c1 and will accompany each slice4 ,,rump ,,or ,,buttock ,,of ,,beef4 ,in carving the rump1 buttock1 or other joints of beef1 it is merely necessary to observe1 that every slice should be as neatly as practicable cut across the grain4 ,even in the brisket1 the slices must be across the bones1 and not through4 ,illustration ,,tongue4 ,the tongue may be sent to table either rolled or in length4 ,if rolled1 slices are cut as in a round of beef2 if not rolled1 it must be cut nearly in the middle1 not quite through1 and slices taken from each side1 with a little of the fat which lies at the root1 if liked4 ,illustration ,,veal4 ,,calf',s ,,head4 ,the half-head is often sent to table2 but when a whole head is served1 it is only necessary to know the delicate parts and to distribute them impartially4 ,long slices of the gelatinous skin1 cut down to the bone from #a to #b1 must be served4 ,the throat sweetbread1 as it is called1 lies at the thick neck end2 and slices1 from #c to #d1 must be added to the gelatine4 ,the eye is also a delicacy3 this must be extracted with the point of the knife1 and divided at discretion4 ,the palate1 situated under the head1 must also be apportioned1 and1 if necessary1 the jaw-bone should be removed1 to obtain the lean meat below it4 ,,loin ,,of ,,veal ,is usually divided into two portions--the chump end and the kidney end2 the latter of which1 the most delicate part1 must be separated in bones which have been jointed before cooking4 ,part of the kidney1 and of the rich fat which surrounds it1 must be given to each4 ,the chump end1 after the tail is removed and divided1 may be served in slices without bone1 if preferred to the richer end4 ,illustration ,,fillet ,,of ,,veal4 ,the fillet of veal1 corresponding to the round of beef1 must be carved in the same way1 in horizontal slices1 with a sharp knife to preserve the smooth surface4 ,the first1 or brown slice1 is preferred by some persons1 and it should be divided as required4 ,for the forcemeat1 which is covered with the flap1 you must cut deep into it between #a and #b1 and help to each a thin slice1 with a little of the fat4 ,,breast ,,of ,,veal4 ,the breast is composed of the ribs and brisket1 and these must first be separated by cutting through the line #a1 #b4 ,the taste of the guests must then be consulted2 if the ribs be preferred1 the bones are easily divided2 if the brisket1 which is thick1 and contains the gristle1 which many like1 it must be in small transverse squares4 ,the sweetbread is commonly served with a roast breast of veal1 and a small portion of it must be given with every plate4 ,illustration ,,knuckle ,,of ,,veal4 ,this part is always boiled or stewed1 and the fat and tendons render it a dish much esteemed3 some good slices may also be cut1 and the marrowy fat which lies between two of the outer bones must be carefully portioned out4 ,,shoulder ,,and ,,neck ,,of ,,veal4 ,though the shoulder of veal may be carved in the same way as mutton1 it is usual to turn it over1 and cut moderately thick slices from the thick edge opposite to the bone1 and parallel with it4 ,the neck1 of which the best end only is usually roasted1 and stuffed under the skin1 must be divided in the same way as a neck of mutton4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,pork4 ,,leg ,,or ,,hand ,,of ,,pork4 ,illustration ,commonly the joints of pork are carved in the same way as the similar joints of mutton1 in slices across1 cut very deep1 as marked #a1 #b4 ,in the leg1 however1 the close1 firm flesh about the knuckle is more highly esteemed than in the same part of a leg of mutton1 and must be dealt out impartially4 ,the hand is a delicate joint1 and may be carved from the blade-bone as in mutton1 or in thin1 slices across1 near the knuckle4 ,,spare-,,rib ,,of ,,pork ,is usually accompanied by apple sauce to correct the richness of the gravy4 ,the fleshy part is first cut in long slices1 and the spare bones are then easily divided4 ,,ham4 ,illustration ,the usual method of carving the ham is by cutting down directly to the bone three or four thin slices in the direction #a1 #b2 then by passing the knife along the bone1 you completely detach them1 and give a due portion of fat to each4 ,if you wish to be more economical1 you must begin at the knuckle and gradually work onward1 leaving a better appearance than when cut in the middle4 ,a more extravagant method is by scooping a hole in the middle1 and cutting circular slices round1 on the principle of keeping the meat moist and retaining the gravy4 ,this is obviously a wasteful plan4 ,a ,,sucking ,,pig4 ,before it is sent to table1 the head is removed and opened1 and the body split in two1 thus rendering it very easy to carve4 ,first separate the shoulders1 then the legs from the body4 ,the triangular piece of the neck between the shoulders is reckoned the most delicate part1 and the ribs the next best4 ,the latter are easily divided according to the number of guests1 being commonly little more than gristle2 there are choice bits also in the shoulders and thighs2 the ear also is reckoned a delicacy4 ,the portion of stuffing and gravy must not be forgotten by the carver4 ,illustration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,poultry ,,and ,,game4 ,be careful first to have your proper carving-knife2 and next to consider the number of the company4 ,if a small number1 it will only be necessary in carving a goose1 turkey1 or cluck1 to cut deep slices from each side of the breast1 without winging the birds4 ,in a large party they must absolutely be cut up4 ,,goose ,in carving a goose1 the neck must be turned towards you1 and the skin below the breast1 called the apron1 be removed in a semicircular direction1 to enable you to reach the stuffing inside4 ,some carvers choose to pour in a glass of port wine1 or claret mixed with mustard1 before beginning to cut up4 ,the slices first cut are on each side of the breast-bone1 marked a1 b4 ,then1 if required1 the wing may be removed1 by putting the fork into the small end of the pinion1 and pressing it close to the body until you divide the shoulder-joint at #a1 carrying the knife on as far as #b1 and then separating by drawing the fork back4 ,the leg must be removed in the same manner in the direction #b1 #c1 and the thigh1 which is by many considered the best part1 must be separated from the inferior drumstick4 ,the merry-thought may be removed by raising it a little from the neck1 and then passing the knife beneath1 and the delicate neck-bones are taken off the same way4 ,the rump is looked on by epicures as a dainty4 ,after each plate has been supplied with the part asked for1 a spoon must be introduced at the neck to draw out the proper portion of stuffing4 ,illustration ,a green goose is carved much in the same way1 but is not stuffed1 and only the breast regarded as very delicate4 ,,turkey ,the prime part of the turkey is the breast1 and it is only after this is exhausted that the real cutting up of the bird is required4 ,the knife must be passed down close to the bone and through the forcemeat which fills the breast1 and then thin slices1 with a due portion of the forcemeat1 distributed2 and except in a very large party1 this usually is sufficient2 but if more be required1 the pinions and legs must be taken off like those of the goose4 ,the thigh is good2 the pinion and drumstick are usually tough1 and reserved till the last2 the side or neck-bones are delicate2 also the small round piece of flesh on each side of the centre of the back called the oyster4 ,beyond these the turkey requires no more carving4 ,a ,,fowl4 ,the fork must be firmly fixed in the centre of the breast1 draw the knife along the line #a to #c1 and then proceed to take off the wing1 by inserting the knife under the joint at #a1 and lifting the pinion with the fork1 drawing off the wing with a slice of the breast attached4 ,the leg1 cut round1 is easily released in the same way4 ,the merry-thought may next be detached by turning it back from the breast2 the neck-bones which are beneath the upper part of the wings are easily raised4 ,then the breast must be divided from the back by cutting through the ribs close under the breast4 ,the back may then be turned uppermost1 press the point of the knife in the midst1 and raise the lower end to separate it4 ,then remove the rump1 and cut off the side bones which lie on each side of the back by forcing the knife through the rump-bone and drawing them from the back-bone2 these side bones include the delicate morsel called the oyster4 ,the breast and wings are the choice parts2 the liver1 which is trussed under one wing1 should be divided to offer part with the other wing1 the gizzard being rarely eaten2 but the legs in a young fowl1 and especially in a boiled fowl1 are very good2 the merry-thought too is a delicacy4 ,if the fowl be very large1 it is commonly carved like a turkey1 with slices first cut from the breast4 ,when a fowl is sent to table cold at luncheon or supper1 it is often carved first and then neatly tied together with white ribbons4 ,this looks well1 and is very convenient in a large party4 ,illustration ,,duck4 ,a duck1 if large1 must be carved as directed for a goose1 by cutting slices from the breast1 and afterwards removing the wings and legs2 but if a very young bird1 it is commonly disjointed first and then served in the same way as a fowl4 ,the seasoned onions and sage placed under the apron may be removed with a spoon if required1 but some have an objection to the strong flavour1 and it is necessary to know that it is not disagreeable to them before you place it on the plate4 ,,wild ,,duck4 ,the choice part of a wild duck is the breast1 which is cut in long slices from the neck to the leg4 ,it is rarely the bird is required to be disjointed1 but if it be necessary1 it can be cut up like a fowl4 ,,pheasant4 ,in the same manner in which you carve a fowl fix your fork in the centre of the breast2 cut slices from the breast2 remove the leg1 which is considered excellent1 in a line at #c1 and the wing at #c1 #e4 ,to draw off the merry-thought1 pass the knife through the line #f beneath it towards the neck1 and it will easily be detached4 ,in other respects serve it in the same way as a fowl1 the breast and thigh being most valued4 ,illustration ,,grouse4 ,the first unrivalled bird of game1 due on the #abth of ,august1 breaking up the senate of the kingdom1 and accessible only to the few whom wealth or privilege give the entre into the preserved regions1 has1 when even thrown into the market by the mercenary scions of the great1 a considerable value2 and perhaps it is only in the ,north that it is properly cooked and appreciated4 ,a moor bird requires a particular sagacity in carving1 which is a secret to the uninitiated4 ,you may carve it like a common fowl2 but the epicure alone knows that it is in the back that the true flavour of the heath is found1 and in the ,north the back is recognized as the chief delicacy1 and must be carefully proportioned among the guests4 ,,partridge4 ,the partridge is always well received in dinner society2 and if the party be large and the supply of game small1 the partridges must be jointed like a fowl1 to make the most of them1 but in a small party it is only necessary to fix the knife in the back1 and separate the bird at once into back and breast1 dividing it then according to the number of guests1 always remembering that the back of a well-fed partridge is by no means a despicable morsel4 ,,woodstock ,,or ,,snipe4 ,the great peculiarity in carving the woodcock or snipe is1 that the bird is not drawn like other birds1 but roasted as it is plucked1 suspended by the head1 with a toast beneath1 on which the trail1 as it is called1 or internal part1 is allowed to drop2 and when the birds are roasted1 which should be rapidly done in twenty minutes1 the trail should be spread over each toast and the bird served up on it4 ,it is then only necessary to carve each bird through the breast and back1 with its due proportion of the trail and toast4 ,the best part1 however1 if carved1 is the thigh4 ,,pigeons4 ,as the pigeon is too small a bird to disjoint1 it is the fairest division to cut it through the middle of the breast and back in two equal parts4 ,another mode is to insert the knife at #a1 and cut on each side to #b and #c1 and forcing them asunder1 to divide each portion into two2 but this is not needed except in a large party4 ,illustration ,,small ,,birds4 ,fieldfares1 larks1 corn-crakes1 quails1 plovers1 and ruffs and reeves1 should be always cut through the breast1 and served only for two helps4 ,,hare4 ,illustration ,the old way of carving a hare1 still insisted on at many economical tables1 is somewhat elaborate4 ,you must first insert the knife in the point of the shoulder marked #a1 and divide it down along the line to the rump1 #b2 and doing the same at the opposite side1 the hare falls into three pieces4 ,pass the knife under the shoulder1 #b--a1 and remove it2 then the leg1 which is really good1 in a similar manner4 ,the animal must be beheaded1 for it is necessary to divide the head1 which must be done by turning the mouth towards you1 holding it steadily down with the fork1 inserting the knife through the bone between the ears1 and forcing it through1 entirely dividing it4 ,half the head is given to any one that requires it1 the crisp ears being first cut off1 a delicacy some prefer4 ,the back1 which is the most tender part1 must now be divided through the spine into several pieces2 it is only after the back is distributed that it is necessary to have recourse to the shoulders and legs4 ,if the hare be old1 it is useless to attempt to carve it entirely at table1 the joints become so stubborn with age2 and it is then usual to cut long slices on each side of the back-bone4 ,a great deal of the blood usually settles in the shoulders and back of the neck1 giving the flesh a richness which epicures like2 and these parts1 called the sportsman's pieces1 are sometimes demanded4 ,the seasoning or stuffing of a hare lies inside1 and must be drawn out with a spoon4 ,,rabbit4 ,the rules for carving a hare sufficiently direct the mode of carving a rabbit1 except that1 being so much smaller1 the back is never divided into more than two or three pieces1 and the head is served whole1 if demanded4 ,the wing is thought a choice part by many4 ,toasts and ,sentiments4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,amatory4 ,british belles and ,british fashions4 ,laughing lovers to merry maids4 ,love and opportunity4 ,love's slavery4 ,love without licentiousness1 and pleasure without excess4 ,love1 liberty1 and length of blissful days4 ,love without fear1 and life without care4 ,love for one4 ,life1 love1 liberty1 and true friendship4 ,love in every breast1 liberty in every heart1 and learning in every head4 ,love at liberty1 and liberty in love4 ,love3 may it never make a wise man play the fool4 ,artless love and disinterested friendship4 ,all that love can give1 and sensibility enjoy4 ,a speedy union to every lad and lass4 ,beauty's best companion--,modesty4 ,beauty1 innocence1 and modest merit4 ,beauty without affectation1 and virtue without deceit4 ,community of goods1 unity of hearts1 nobility of sentiment1 and truth of feeling to the lovers of the fair sex4 ,charms to strike the sight1 and merit to win the heart4 ,constancy in love1 and sincerity in friendship4 ,here's a health to the maid that is constant and kind1 ,who to charms bright as ,venus's adds ,diana's mind4 ,i'll toast ,britain's daughters--let all fill their glasses-- ,whose beauty and virtue the whole world surpasses4 ,may blessings attend them1 go wherever they will1 ,and foul fall the man that e'er offers them ill4 ,love without deceit1 and matrimony without regret4 ,love's garlands3 may they ever entwine the brows of every true-hearted lover4 ,lovely woman--man's best and dearest gift of life4 ,love to one1 friendship to a few1 and good-will to all4 ,long life1 pure love1 and boundless liberty4 ,may love and reason be friends1 and beauty and prudence marry4 ,may the lovers of the fair sex never want the means to defend them4 ,may the sparks of love brighten into a flame4 ,may the joys of the fair give pleasure to the heart4 ,may we be loved by those whom we love4 ,may we kiss whom we please1 and please whom we kiss4 ,may the bud of affection be ripened by the sunshine of sincerity4 ,may a virtuous offspring succeed to mutual and honourable love4 ,may the presence of the fair curb the licentious4 ,may the confidence of love be rewarded with constancy in its object4 ,may the honourable lover attain the object of his wishes4 ,may the lovers of the fair be modest1 faithful1 and kind4 ,may the wings of love never lose a feather4 ,may the blush of conscious innocence ever deck the faces of the ,british fair4 ,may the union of persons always be founded on that of hearts4 ,may the generous heart ever meet a chaste mate4 ,may the temper of our wives be suited to those of their husbands4 ,may true passion never meet with a slight4 ,may every woman have a protector1 but not a tyrant4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,bacchanalian4 ,may we act with reason when the bottle circulates4 ,may good fortune resemble the bottle and bowl1 ,and stand by the man who can't stand by himself4 ,may we never want wine1 nor a friend to partake of it4 ,may our love of the glass never make us forget decency4 ,may the juice of the grape enliven each soul1 ,and good humour preside at the head of each bowl4 ,may mirth exalt the feast4 ,may we always get mellow with good wine4 ,may the moments of mirth be regulated by the dial of reason4 ,champagne to our real friends1 and real pain to our sham friends4 ,come1 every man now give his toast-- ,fill up the glass--,i'll tell you mine3 ,wine is the mistress ,i love most6 ,this is my toast--now give me thine4 ,cheerfulness in our cups1 content in our minds1 and competency in our pockets4 ,come1 fill the glass and drain the bowl3 ,may ,love and ,bacchus still agree2 ,and every ,briton warm his soul ,with ,cupid1 ,wine1 and ,liberty4 ,good-humour3 and may it ever smile at our board4 ,full bags1 a fresh bottle1 and a beauty4 ,good wine and good company to the lovers of reasonable enjoyment4 ,a friend and a bottle to give him4 ,a hearty supper1 a good bottle1 and a soft bed to every man who fights the battles of his country4 ,a full purse1 a fresh bottle1 and beautiful face4 ,a full bottle and a friend to partake of it4 ,a drop of good stuff and a snug social party1 ,to spend a dull evening1 gay1 social1 and hearty4 ,a mirth-inspiring bowl4 ,a full belly1 a heavy purse1 and a light heart4 ,a bottle at night and business in the morning4 ,beauty1 wit1 and wine4 ,clean glasses and old corks4 ,wine3 may it be our spur as we ride over the bad roads of life ,while we enjoy ourselves over the bottle1 may we never drive prudence out of the room4 ,wine--for there's no medicine like it4 ,wine--the parent of friendship1 composer of strife1 ,the soother of sorrow1 the blessing of life4 ,wine3 the bond that cements the warm heart to a friend4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,comic4 ,may the tax-gatherer be forgiven in another world4 ,to the early bird that catches the worm4 ,to the bird in the hand that is worth two in the bush4 ,our native1 land3 may we never be lawfully sent out of it4 ,sound hearts1 sound sovereigns1 and sound dispositions4 ,the ,queen1 and may true ,britons never be without her likeness in their pockets4 ,the land we live in3 may he who doesn't like it leave it4 ,the three great ,generals in power--,general ,peace1 ,general ,plenty1 and ,general ,satisfaction4 ,the ,bank of ,england's passport to travel with1 and the ,queen's picture for a companion4 ,may the parched pea never jump out of the frying-pan into the fire4 ,the three ,r's3 ,reading1 ',riting1 and ',rithmetic4 ,may evil communications never corrupt good manners4 ,may the celebrated pin a day1 of which we have heard so much1 always make the groat a year4 ,may the groat a year never be unwisely invested in a ,joint-,stock ,company4 ,may that man never grow fat ,who carries two faces under one hat4 ,here's to the best physicians--,dr4 ,diet1 ,dr4 ,quiet1 and ,dr4 ,merryman4 ,here's to the feast that has plenty of meat and very little table-cloth4 ,here's to the full purse that never lacks friends4 ,may fools make feasts1 and wise men eat them4 ,here's to the man who never lets his tongue cut his own throat4 ,here's to the man who never quarrels with his bread and butter4 ,here's to the man who never looks a gift-horse in the mouth4 ,here's to the old bird that is not to be caught with chaff4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,conservative4 ,a health to those ladies who set the example of wearing ,british productions4 ,may ,her ,majesty's ,ministers ever have wisdom to plan our institutions1 and energy and firmness to support them4 ,confusion to all demagogues4 ,may the productions of ,britain's isle never be invaded by foreigners4 ,may the throne and the altar never want standing armies to back them4 ,our old nobility4 ,the man who builds up rather than he who pulls down4 ,the loyal adherents of the ,queen and the true friends of the people4 ,the equilibrium of ,state1 may it always be preserved4 ,the ancient ways4 ,judicious reforms and reformers4 ,the universal advancement of the arts and sciences4 ,all our independent nobles and noble hearts4 ,may the dispensers of justice ever be impartial4 ,may ,french principles never corrupt ,english manners4 ,may the interests of the monarch and monarchy never be thought distinct4 ,may the worth of the nation be ever inestimable4 ,may taxation be lessened annually4 ,may the ,gallic cock be always clipped by ,british valour if he crows too loud4 ,may the sword of justice be swayed by the hand of mercy4 ,may the seeds of dissension never find growth in the soil of ,great ,britain4 ,may the love of country be imprinted in every ,briton's breast4 ,may our statesmen ever possess the justice of a ,more and the wisdom of a ,bacon4 ,queen and ,country4 ,liberty1 not licence4 ,confusion to all men who desert their party4 ,party ties before all other ties4 ,the ,queen3 may she outlive her ,ministers1 and may they live long4 ,a lasting cement to all contending powers4 ,the protectors of commerce and the promoters of charity4 ,a revision of the code of criminal laws4 ,the ,bar1 the ,pulpit1 and the ,throne4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,gastronomic4 ,old ,england's roast beef3 may it ever be the standing dish of ,britons4 ,our constitutional friends--the ,baron and the ,sir-loin4 ,roast beef3 may it always ennoble our veins and enrich our blood4 ,the roast beef of old ,england4 ,the ,union dish3 ,english beef1 ,scotch kale1 and ,irish potatoes4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,english4 ,england1 home1 and beauty4 ,english oak and ,british valour4 ,england for ever3 the land we live in4 ,england1 ,scotland1 and ,ireland3 may their union remain undisturbed by plots or treachery to the end of time4 ,england1 the queen of the isles and the queen of the main4 ,may old ,england's sons1 the ,americans1 never forget their mother4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,irish4 ,a high post to the enemies of ,ould ,ireland1 ,erin1 the land of the brave and the bold4 ,ireland2 sympathy for her wrongs1 and a determination to redress them4 ,the country that gave ,st4 ,patrick birth1 the birthplace of wit1 and hospitality's home--dear ,ould ,ireland4 ,may ,great ,britain and ,ireland be ever equally distinguished by their love of liberty and true patriotism4 ,may the enemies of ,great ,britain and ,ireland never meet a friend in either country4 ,justice to ,ireland4 ,ireland1 ,scotland1 and ,england3 may their union be happier than it has been4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,scotch4 ,a health to the friends of ,caledonia4 ,caledonia1 the nursery of learning and the birthplace of heroes4 ,scotland and the productions of its soil4 ,scottish heroes1 and may their fame live for ever4 ,scotland1 the birthplace of valour1 the country of worth4 ,the ,queen and the ,scottish ,union4 ,the nobles of ,caledonia and their ladies4 ,to the memory of ,scottish heroines4 ,the ,rose1 ,thistle1 and ,shamrock3 may they flourish by the common graft of union4 ,to the memory of ,scotland's heroes4 ,to the memory of those who have gloriously fallen in the noble struggle for independence4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,liberal4 ,annihilation to the trade of corruption4 ,an ,englishman's birthright3 trial by jury4 ,addition to our trade1 multiplication to our manufactures1 subtraction to taxes1 and reduction to places and pensions4 ,all the honest reformers of our country4 ,britain3 may the land of our nativity ever be the abode of freedom1 and the birthplace of heroes4 ,britain's annals3 may they never suffer a moral or political blot4 ,confusion to those who barter the cause of their country for sordid gain4 ,confusion to those who1 wearing the mask of patriotism1 pull it off and desert the cause of liberty in the hour of trial4 ,confusion to those despots who combine against the liberties of mankind4 ,disappointment to all those who form expectations of places and pensions on the ruin of their country4 ,everlasting life to the man who gave the death-blow to the slave trade4 ,community1 unity1 navigation1 and trade4 ,faith in every kind of commerce4 ,freedom to the oppressed1 and slavery to the oppressors4 ,freedom to all who dare contend for it4 ,oblivion to all party rage4 ,humanity to all created beings1 especially to our own species1 whether black or white4 ,no party except mankind4 ,may the meanest ,briton scorn the highest slave4 ,old ,england3 and may those who ill-use her be speedily kicked off4 ,may ,great ,britain and ,ireland be ever equally distinguished by their love of liberty and true patriotism4 ,may every succeeding century maintain the principles of the glorious ,revolution1 enjoy the blessings of them1 and transmit them to future ages unimpaired and improved4 ,may the whole universe be incorporated in one city1 and every inhabitant presented with the freedom4 ,may ,britons share the triumphs of freedom1 and ever contend for the rights and liberties of mankind4 ,may freedom's fire take new birth at the grave of liberty4 ,may our country be1 as it has ever been1 a secure asylum to the unfortunate and oppressed4 ,high wages1 and sense to keep them4 ,may the freedom of election be preserved1 the trial by jury maintained1 and the liberty of the press secured to the latest posterity4 ,may the tree of liberty flourish round the globe1 and every human being partake of the fruits4 ,may truth and liberty prevail throughout the world4 ,may all partial and impolitic taxes be abolished4 ,may ,britons never have a tyrant to oppose either in ,church or ,state4 ,may the sons of liberty marry the daughters of virtue4 ,may ,britons never suffer invasion1 nor invade the rights of others4 ,may the miseries of war be banished from all enlightened nations4 ,may our trade and manufactures be unrestrained by the fetters of monopoly4 ,may the whole world become more enlightened and civilized4 ,may revolutions never cease while tyranny exists4 ,our constitution as settled at the ,revolution4 ,may the people of ,england always oppose a bad ,ministry1 and give vigour to a good one4 ,the ,british ,lion3 may he never rise in anger nor lie down in fear4 ,the majesty of the people of ,england4 ,the memory of our brave ancestors who brought about the ,revolution1 and may a similar spirit actuate their descendants4 ,the sacred decree of heaven--,let all mankind be free4 ,the ,british ,constitution2 and confusion to those who dislike it4 ,the people--the only source of legitimate power4 ,the subject of liberty and the liberty of the subject4 ,the non-electors of ,great ,britain3 may they speedily be enfranchised4 ,the greatest happiness of the greatest number4 ,may the nation that plots against another's liberty or prosperity fall a victim to its own intrigues4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,literary4 ,toleration and liberty of the press4 ,the ,fourth ,estate4 ,the liberty of the press1 and success to its defenders4 ,the ,press3 the great bulwark of our liberties1 and may it ever remain unshackled4 ,the glorious literature of ,scotland4 ,the glorious literature of ,ireland4 ,the glorious literature of ,england4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,loyal4 ,,queen ,,victoria3 and may her royal offspring adorn the position they are destined to fill4 ,all the royal family4 ,a speedy export to all the enemies of ,britain without a drawback4 ,a lasting peace or an honourable war4 ,a health to our ,english patriots4 ,agriculture and its improvers4 ,all the societies associated for promoting the happiness of the human race4 ,all the charitable institutions of ,great ,britain4 ,an ,englishman's castle--his house3 may it stand for ever4 ,britons in unity1 and unity in ,britain4 ,british virtue3 may it always find a protector1 but never need one4 ,great ,britain's rising star3 the ,prince of ,wales4 ,holy pastors1 honest magistrates1 and humane rulers4 ,improvement to the inventions of our country4 ,improvement to our arts1 and invention to our artists4 ,may the sword of ,justice be swayed by the hand of ,mercy4 ,may the love of country always prevail4 ,may ,st4 ,george's ,channel be the only difference ever known between ,england and ,ireland4 ,may the eagles of the ,continent never build their nests in this little island4 ,may ,british valour shine when every other light is out4 ,may ,britons1 when they do strike1 strike home4 ,may the populace of our country be remarkable for their loyalty and domestic happiness4 ,may our sons be honest and fair1 and our daughters modest and fair4 ,may every ,briton's hand be ever hostile to tyranny4 ,may the annals of ,great ,britain's history be unstained with crime and unpolluted ,with bloody deeds4 ,may our jurors ever possess sufficient courage to uphold their verdict4 ,may every ,briton manfully withstand corruption4 ,may we never be afraid to die for our country4 ,our wives1 homes1 country1 and ,queen4 ,may the health of our sovereign keep pace with the wishes of her people4 ,may every ,briton manfully withstand tyranny4 ,may the glory of ,britain never cease to shine4 ,may the honours of our nobility be without stain4 ,may ,britons be invincible by united force4 ,may the olive of peace renovate the sinking fund of the ,british nation4 ,may the throne and the altar never want standing armies to back them4 ,may ,britons secure their conquests by clemency4 ,may we as citizens be free without faction1 and as subjects loyal without servility4 ,may loyalty flourish for ever4 ,may liberty ever find an altar in ,britain surrounded by devoted worshippers4 ,may the ,british bull never be cowed4 ,may our hearts ever be possessed with the love of country4 ,may the ,british soil alone produce freedom's sons4 ,may the brave never want protection4 ,may sovereigns and subjects reign in each other's hearts by love4 ,may we ever honestly uphold our rights4 ,may we never cease to deserve well of country4 ,may ,britons ever defend1 with bold unflinching hand1 ,their throne1 their altar1 and their native land4 ,may the liberties of the people be immortal4 ,may the heart of an ,englishman ever be ,liberty ,hall4 ,may the brow of the brave be adorned by the hand of beauty4 ,may we never find danger lurking on the borders of security4 ,may the laurels of ,great ,britain never be blighted4 ,may all mankind make free to enjoy the blessings of liberty1 but never take the liberty to subvert the principles of freedom4 ,may ,britannia's hand ever be armed with the bolts of ,jove4 ,may the ensign of loyalty float over us--the jack of pure patriotism lead us--and may the pendant of every ,british man-of-war serve as a cat-o-nine-tails to whip our enemies with4 ,may ,england's name and ,england's fame stand for ever pure1 great and free4 ,may every true ,briton be possessed of peace1 plenty1 and content4 ,may every ,briton leave his native land at honour's call1 ,to fight1 to conquer1 or1 like ,wolfe1 to fall4 ,may every ,briton act the patriot's part4 ,may victory spin the robe of glory for the brave1 and fame enrol his deeds4 ,may the laws never be misconstrued4 ,may the weight of our taxes never bend the back of our credit4 ,may increasing success crown the island of traders1 ,and its shores prove the grave of all foreign invaders4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,masonic4 ,may every worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day1 be happy at night with his friend1 his love1 and a cheerful glass4 ,may all freemasons be enabled to act in a strict conformity to the rules of their order4 ,may our actions as masons be properly squared4 ,may masonry flourish until nature expire1 ,and its glories ne'er fade till the world is on fire4 ,the female friends of freemasons4 ,may the brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their regular lives2 more than by their gloves and aprons4 ,may concord1 peace2 and harmony subsist in all regular lodges1 and always distinguish freemasons4 ,may masonry prove as universal as it is honourable and useful4 ,may every brother learn to live within the compass1 and watch upon the square4 ,may the lodges in this place be distinguished for love1 peace1 and harmony4 ,all noblemen and right worshipful brothers who have been grand masters4 ,may peace1 harmony1 and concord subsist among freemasons1 and may every idle dispute and frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion4 ,all regular lodges4 ,all the friends of the craft4 ,as we meet upon the level1 may we part upon the square4 ,all faithful and true brothers4 ,all brothers who have been grand masters4 ,every brother who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders1 but cheerfully gives it to a worthy brother4 ,every brother who maintains a consistency in love and sincerity in friendship4 ,every worthy brother who was at first duly prepared1 and whose heart still retains an awful regard to the three great lights of masonry4 ,golden eggs to every brother1 and goldfinches to our lodges4 ,honour and influence to every public-spirited brother4 ,all freeborn sons of the ancient and honourable craft4 ,may the square1 plumb-line1 and level regulate the conduct of every brother4 ,may the morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by freemasons4 ,may the hearts of freemasons agree1 although their heads should differ4 ,may every mason participate in the happiness of a brother4 ,may every brother have a heart to feel and a hand to give4 ,may discord1 party rage1 and insolence be for ever rooted out from among masons4 ,may covetous cares be unknown to freemasons4 ,may all freemasons go hand in hand in the road of virtue4 ,may we be more ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother4 ,may the prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue4 ,may unity and love be ever stamped upon the mason's mind4 ,may no freemason desire plenty but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent4 ,may no freemason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness1 nor more freedom than tends to the public good4 ,may the deformity of vice in other men teach a mason to abhor it in himself4 ,may the cares which haunt the heart of the covetous be unknown to the freemason4 ,prosperity to masons and masonry ,relief to all indigent brethren4 ,to the secret and silent4 ,the great lodge of ,england4 ,the great lodge of ,scotland4 ,to the memory of him who first planted the vine4 ,to the perpetual honour of freemasons4 ,the masters and wardens of all regular lodges4 ,to all masons who walk by the line4 ,to the memory of the ,tyrian artist4 ,may all freemasons live in love and die in peace4 ,may love animate the heart of every mason4 ,may all freemasons ever taste and relish the sweets of freedom4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,military4 ,may our commanders have the eye of a ,hawke and the heart of a ,wolfe4 ,to the memory of ,wellington and all like him4 ,chelsea ,hospital and its supporters4 ,to the memory of ,sir ,thomas ,picton1 and all our brave countrymen who fell at ,waterloo4 ,may every ,british officer possess ,wolfe's conduct and courage1 but not meet with his fate4 ,may the enemy's flag be surmounted by the ,british standard4 ,may the arms borne by a soldier never be used in a bad cause4 ,may ,british soldiers fight to protect1 and conquer to save4 ,may the gifts of fortune never cause us to steer out of our latitude4 ,may the brow of the brave never want a wreath of laurel to adorn it4 ,may the army of ,great ,britain never feel dismayed at its enemies4 ,may the brave soldier who never turned his back to the enemy never have a friend turn his back to him4 ,may bronze and medals not be the only reward of the brave4 ,may no rotten members infect the whole corps4 ,may the laurels of ,great ,britain never be blighted4 ,may all weapons of war be used for warlike purposes only4 ,may the soldier never fall a sacrifice but to glory4 ,to the memory of ,sir ,john ,moore1 and all the brave fellows who fell with him in the action of ,corunna2 and may their gallant conduct stimulate every ,british soldier in the hour of danger4 ,to the memory of all brave soldiers who fall in defence of their country4 ,the memory of a great general and splendid genius1 though ambitious and tyrannic--,napoleon ,bonaparte4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,naval4 ,may our iron-clads do as much as out-brave old oaks4 ,may ,john ,bull ever be commander-in-chief of the ocean4 ,may ,old ,england1 a world within herself1 reign safe for ever in her floating towers4 ,to the memory of ,nelson1 and all like him4 ,greenwich ,hospital and its supporters4 ,may every ,british seaman fight bravely and be rewarded honourably4 ,may rudders govern and ships obey4 ,may no true son of ,neptune ever flinch from his gun4 ,may no son of the ocean ever be devoured by his mother4 ,may our navy never know defeat but by name4 ,may our sailors for ever prove lords of the main4 ,may the deeds never be forgot that were done at ,trafalgar and ,waterloo4 ,may the cause of ,british liberty ever be defended by her hearts of oak4 ,may our officers and tars be valiant and brave4 ,success to the fair for manning the navy4 ,may gales of prosperity waft us to the port of happiness4 ,may our seamen1 from the captain to the cabin-boy1 be like our ships1 hearts of oak4 ,more hard ships for ,britain1 and less to her enemies4 ,may the pilot of reason guide us to the harbour of rest4 ,may the memory of the noble ,nelson inspire every seaman to do his duty4 ,may the tar who loses one eye in defence of his country1 never see distress with the other4 ,should the ,french come to ,dover1 may they mis-,deal in their landing4 ,to ,nelson's memory here's a health1 ,and to his gallant tars1 ,and1 may our ,british seamen bold ,despise both wounds and scars2 ,make ,france and ,spain1 ,and all the main1 ,and all their foes to know1 ,britons reign o'er the main ,while the stormy winds do blow4 ,the ,british navy1 the world's check-string4 ,the heart of a sailor3 may it be like heart of oak4 ,though our bold tars are fortune's sport1 may they ever be fortune's care4 ,the flag of ,england3 may it ever brave the battle and the breeze4 ,the sea1 the rough sea1 the open sea3 may our lives be spent upon it4 ,the sea1 the sleepless guardian of the world4 ,the memory of ,lord ,howe and the glorious #ast of ,june4 ,safe arrivals to our homeward and outward-bound fleets4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,religious4 ,the friends of religion1 liberty1 and science in every part of the globe4 ,the honest reformers of our laws and religion4 ,the clergy of the ,united ,kingdom who have always supported the good cause3 may they continue to do so4 ,the ,pulpit1 the ,bar1 and the ,throne4 ,the friends of religious toleration1 whether they are within or without the ,establishment4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,sentimental4 ,may we ever have a sufficiency for ourselves1 and a trifle to spare for our friends4 ,may we always look forward to better times1 but never be discontented with the present4 ,may the miseries of war never more have existence in the world4 ,may the wing of friendship never moult a feather4 ,may our artists never be forced into artifice to gain applause and fortune4 ,may solid honour soon take place of seeming religion4 ,may our thoughts never mislead our judgment4 ,may filial piety ever be the result of a religious education4 ,may real merit meet reward1 and pretension its punishment4 ,may prosperity never make us arrogant1 nor adversity mean4 ,may we live happy and die in peace with all mankind4 ,may the unsuspecting man never be deceived4 ,may noise and nonsense be ever banished from social company4 ,may the faults of our neighbours be dim and their virtues glaring4 ,may industry always be the favourite of ,fortune4 ,may the rich be charitable and the poor grateful4 ,may the misfortunes of others be always examined at the chart of our own conduct4 ,may we never be so base as to envy the happiness of another4 ,may we live to learn1 and learn to live well4 ,may we be more ready to correct our own faults than to publish the faults of others4 ,may we never hurt our neighbour's peace by the desire of appearing witty4 ,modesty in our discourses1 moderation in our wishes1 and mutuality in our affections4 ,may we never envy those who are happy1 but strive to imitate them4 ,may we derive amusement from business and improvement from pleasure4 ,may our faults be written on the sea-shore1 and every good action prove a wave to wash them out4 ,may virtue find fortune always an attendant4 ,may we never repine at our condition1 nor be depressed by poverty4 ,may reality strengthen the joys of imagination4 ,may we never make a sword of our tongue to wound a good man's reputation4 ,may our distinguishing mark be merit rather than money4 ,a total abolition of the slave trade4 ,a heart to glow for others' good4 ,a heart to feel and a heart to give4 ,a period to the sorrows of an ingenuous mind4 ,a health to our sweethearts1 our friends1 and our wives3 ,may fortune smile on them the rest of their lives4 ,may genius and merit never want a friend4 ,adam's ale3 and may so pure an element be always at hand4 ,all that gives us pleasure4 ,all our wants and wishes4 ,all our absent friends on land and sea4 ,an honest guide and a good pilot4 ,as we bind so may we find4 ,as we travel through life may we live well on the road4 ,may truth and liberty prevail throughout the world4 ,may we never engage in a bad cause1 and never fly from a good one4 ,may domestic slavery be abolished throughout the world4 ,may the fruits of ,england's soil never be denied to her children4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,sporting4 ,may the lovers of the chase never want the comforts of life4 ,may every fox-hunter be well mounted4 ,may we always enjoy the pleasures of shootings and succeed with foul and fair4 ,the staunch hound that never spends tongue but where he ought4 ,the gallant huntsman that plunges into the deep in pursuit of his game4 ,the clear-sighted sportsman that sees his game with one eye4 ,the steady sportsman that always brings down his game4 ,the beagle that runs by nose and not by sight4 ,the jolly sportsman that never beats about the bush4 ,the huntsman's pleasures--the field in the morning and the bottle at night4 ,the joys of angling4 ,the jolly sportsman who enters the covert without being bit by the fox4 ,may the pleasures of sportsmen never know an end4 ,may the jolly fox-hunter never want freedom of soul nor liberality of heart4 ,may we always gain fresh vigour from the joys of the chase4 ,may the sportsman's day be spent in pleasure4 ,may strength the sportsman's nerves in vigour brace2 ,may cruelty ne'er stain with foul disgrace ,the well-earned pleasures of the chase4 ,may the love of the chase never interrupt our attention of the welfare of the country4 ,may every sport prove as innocent as that of the field4 ,may the bows of all ,british bowmen be strong1 their strings sound1 and may their arrows fly straight to the mark4 ,may we always run the game breast high4 ,may those who love the crack of the whip never want a brush to pursue4 ,may the heart of a sportsman never know affliction but by name4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,miscellaneous4 ,the three ,a's3 ,abundance1 abstinence1 and annihilation4 ,abundance to the poor4 ,abstinence to the intemperate4 ,annihilation to the wicked4 ,the three ,b's3 ,bachelors1 banns1 and buns4 ,bachelors1 for the maidens4 ,banns for the bachelors4 ,buns after the consummation of the banns4 ,the three ,c's3 ,cheerfulness1 content1 and competency4 ,cheerfulness in our cups4 ,content in our minds4 ,competency in our pockets4 ,the three ,f's3 ,firmness1 freedom1 and fortitude4 ,firmness in the senate4 ,freedom on the land4 ,fortitude on the waves4 ,the three ,f's3 ,friendship1 feeling1 and fidelity4 ,friendship without interest4 ,feeling to our enemies4 ,fidelity to our friends4 ,the three ,f's3 ,fat1 fair1 and forty4 ,the three generals in peace3 ,general peace4 ,general plenty4 ,general satisfaction4 ,the three generals in power3 ,general employment4 ,general industry4 ,general comfort4 ,the three ,h's3 ,health1 honour1 and happiness4 ,health to all the world4 ,honour to those who seek for it4 ,happiness in our homes4 ,the three ,l's3 ,love1 life1 and liberty4 ,love pure4 ,life long4 ,liberty boundless4 ,the three ,m's3 ,mirth1 music1 and moderation4 ,mirth at every board4 ,music in all instruments4 ,moderation in our desires4 ,the three golden balls of civilization3 ,industry1 commerce1 and wealth4 ,the three companions of beauty3 ,modesty1 love1 and constancy4 ,the three blessings of this life3 ,health1 wealth1 and a good conscience4 ,the four comforts of this life3 ,love1 liberty1 health1 and a contented mind4 ,the three spirits that have no souls3 ,brandy1 rum1 and gin4 ,the three ,l's2 ,love1 loyalty1 and length of days4 ,the three ,m's2 ,modesty1 moderation1 and mutuality4 ,modesty in our discourse4 ,moderation in our wishes4 ,mutuality in our affection4 ,,the ,,musician',s ,,toast4--,may a crotchet in the head never bar the utterance of good notes4 ,may the lovers of harmony never be in want of a note1 and its enemies die in a common chord4 ,,the ,,surgeon',s ,,toast4--,the man that bleeds for his country4 ,,the ,,waiter',s ,,toast4--,the clever waiter who puts the cork in first and the liquor afterwards4 ,,the ,,glazier',s ,,toast4--,the praiseworthy glazier who takes panes to see his way through life4 ,,the ,,greengrocer',s ,,toast4--,may we spring up like vegetables1 have turnip noses1 radish cheeks1 and carroty hair2 and may our hearts never be hard like those of cabbages1 nor may we be rotten at the core4 ,,the ,,painter',s ,,toast4--,when we work in the wet may we never want for driers4 ,,the ,,tallow ,,chandler',s ,,toast4--,may we make light of our misfortunes1 melt the fair when we press them1 and make our foes wax warm in our favour4 ,,the ,,hatter',s ,,toast4--,when the rogue naps it1 may the lesson be felt4 ,,the ,,tailor',s ,,toast4--,may we always sheer out of a lawsuit1 and by so doing cut bad company4 ,,the ,,baker',s ,,toast4--,may we never be done so much as to make us crusty4 ,,the ,,lawyer',s ,,toast4--,may the depth of our potations never cause us to let judgment go by default4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,latin4 ,ad finem esto fidelis4 ,be faithful to the end4 ,amor patriae4 ,the love of our country4 ,dilige amicos4 ,love your friends4 ,dum vivimus vivamus4 ,let us live while we live4 ,esto perpetua4 ,be thou perpetual4 ,palmam qid meruit ferate4 ,let him who has won bear the palm4 ,pro aris et focis4 ,for our altars and fireside4 ,vox populi vox ,dei4 ,the voice of the people is the voice of ,god4 ,,the ,,end4