,,religion ,,in ,,earnest4 ,a ,,memorial ,,of ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,lyth1 ,,of ,,york4 ,,by ,,her ,,son ,,john ,,lyth4 #ahfa4 ,,dedicated ,,to ,,the ,,memory ,,of ,,my ,,beloved ,,sister ,,eliza ,,hill1 ,,whose ,,rare ,,and ,,unostentatious ,,virtues ,,shed ,,fragrance ,,on ,,earth1 ,,but ,,are ,,only ,,recorded ,,in ,,heaven4 ,,preface4 ,in compiling the following sheets1 the ,author has discharged what he felt to be an act1 not merely of filial affection1 but of ,christian duty4 ,to his deceased and venerated ,mother he owes more than words can express2--a ,mother whose consistent example1 earnest piety and frequent effectual prayers1 perhaps even more than her oft-repeated counsels1 produced upon his mind1 while yet a child1 the settled conviction that religion is the one business of life4 ,but be believes it also due to the cause of ,christ1 that an example of ,religion in ,earnest1 so pre-eminent1 should not pass unrecorded and unimproved4 ,those who think the charm of biography consists in startling incident2 or who seek for material to gratify a literary taste1 will discover here little to meet their respective views4 ,we have only to offer them a simple record of one1 whose history possessed no romantic interest1 and who made no pretension to intellectual attainments4 ,but such as love to trace the development of ,divine grace in the human heart1 and to see its power uniformly exemplified in the several phases of every-day life2--who are willing to learn how much may be accomplished by decision1 simplicity of purpose1 and undeviating consistency2--in a word1 how every ,christian even in private life1 may become a centre of happiness1 life and power1 are in this volume presented with no common illustration4 ,the method of arrangement which the writer has adopted has been determined1 partly by his materials1 and partly by the desire to render his subject practical as well as interesting4 ,how far he has succeeded must be decided by the impression made upon the mind of the reader4 ,he now commends his work to ,god1 who alone can give success to every good purpose1 earnestly praying that ,christ1 who was magnified in the life of his now sainted mother1 may be yet more abundantly magnified in her death4 ,j4,l4 ,stetten1 ,o4,a4 ,cannstatt1 ,wrttemberg4 ,december #bgth1 #ahfj4 ,,contents4 ,,chap4 ,i4--,,antecedents ,,ii4--,,early ,,dawn ,,iii4--,,golden ,,opportunities ,,iv4--,,the ,,holy ,,estate ,v4--,,shower ,,and ,,sunshine ,,vi4--,,growth ,,in ,,grace ,,vii4--,,temple ,,service ,,viii4--,,passing ,,clouds ,,ix4--,,mid-,,day ,,toil ,x4--,,works ,,of ,,mercy ,,xi4--,a ,,dying ,,scene ,,xii4--,,country ,,life ,,xiii4--,,the ,,redemption ,,of ,,the ,,promise ,,xiv4--,,power ,,with ,,god ,,xv4--,,the ,,return ,,xvi4--,,the ,,sacrifice ,,xvii4--,,the ,,mother ,,in ,,israel ,,xviii4--,,light ,,in ,,darkness ,,xix4--,,the ,,inward ,,monitor ,,xx4--,,the ,,storm ,,xxi4--,,the ,,widow ,,xxii4--,,the ,,lights ,,and ,,shadows ,,of ,,evening ,,xxiii4--,,sleep ,,in ,,jesus ,,xxiv4--,,pleasant ,,memories ,i4 ,,antecedents4 ,a ,,good ,,man ,,leaveth ,,an ,,inheritance ,,to ,,his ,,children',s ,,children4 ,prov4 xiii4 #bb4 ,within the grounds attached to the mansion of the ,earl of ,harewood1 in the ,west ,riding of ,yorkshire1 is a substantial and well-built farm house1 furnished with suitable outbuildings1 and surrounded by a fine cluster of fruit-trees4 ,it stands on the side of a hill1 which slopes gently down to the river ,wharfe1 and commands a prospect1 which1 though not extensive1 is singularly picturesque4 ,in front1 a little to the right1 the ruined fortress of ,harewood peeps out of a scattered wood1 which crowns the summit of the hill1 and shelters one of the neatest and trimmest villages in ,england4 ,on the left flows the beautiful ,wharfe but soon loses itself among the adjacent heights4 ,behind1 towers the logan of ,arlmes cliff1 an interesting relic of druidical skill and superstition2 while ,riffa wood and ,ottley ,shevin complete the beauty of the landscape4 ,a row of trees1 protected by a lofty wall1 effectually conceals the house we have mentioned1 from the highroad1 which for some distance runs at the foot of the hill and almost parallel to the river4 ,formerly there was only a sandy lane1 which passed immediately in front of the house1 and winding up the hill1 entered the village between the castle and the church4 ,from this circumstance the adjoining farm was called ,sandygate1 but with the changes that have taken place1 the appellation is now almost forgotten1 although the house still retains the name of its original occupant1 and is known in the neighbourhood as ',stables ,house4' ,just a hundred years ago1 this house was built for the accommodation of ,wm4 ,stables1 a wealthy yeoman1 who resided at ,heatherwick 7now ,stanke71 about a mile from ,harewood2 and who1 successful in the cultivation of his paternal acres1 sought to extend his interests by renting the farm of ,sandygate4 ,his removal was however unpropitious to his domestic happiness2 for entering the new house before it was fully fit for occupation1 his wife1 already in a delicate state of health1 took cold and died2 leaving him with four children1 the eldest of whom was six years old1 and the youngest but an infant4 ,mr4 ,s4 is said to have been a shrewd and sensible man1 of strict morals and unbending integrity2 but withal stern and inflexible in disposition1 pharisaic1 and a bigoted churchman4 ,his punctuality in the performance of outward religious duties1 and the regular payment of his dues1 with now and then a fat sheep given to the poor1 secured him among his neighbours the reputation of being a good ,christian4 ,as might be supposed1 his children were trained with great severity1 and educated in the straitest sect of their religion4 ,collect and catechism were duly committed to memory1 prayers regularly read in the family1 the ,sabbath rigorously observed1 a stiff and precise order reigned through the whole household2 but it wanted the charm and life of spiritual feeling4 ,as the children grew up to maturity1 this state of things was destined to be changed by the introduction of a new and unwelcome element1 which seriously disturbed the never too profound tranquillity of the old man4 ,mary1 the youngest child1 whose mind had gradually opened to the truth1 although so defectively communicated1 became deeply convinced of sin under the ministry of ,mr4 ,jackson1 the parish clergyman2 and so painful and vivid were her views of her miserable condition1 that she cried aloud for mercy in the church4 ,her father was deeply concerned for her1 but1 as he was ignorant of spiritual religion1 he was utterly at a loss to understand her feelings4 ,as a last resource he sent for the minister1 but with no better result1 for he too1 frankly confessed that he did not understand the sorrow of which he had been the unwitting occasion4 ,a specimen of this gentleman's ability to administer spiritual counsel and direction is recorded in the characteristic autobiography of ,richard ,burdsall4 ,visiting ,mr4 ,stables in his last illness ,mr4 ,jackson asked him how he did4 ,mr4 ,s4 replied1 ',sir1 ,i am a miserable sinner4' ',do not say you are a miserable sinner1' replied the ,reverend gentleman1 'for you are a good man4' ,mr4 ,s4 answered1 ',o1 ,mr4 ,jackson1 ,i am a miserable sinner4' ,to this the parson replied1 'if you will be a miserable sinner you are like to be a miserable sinner1' and so came no more4 ,mary was thus left to seek relief and comfort where she could2 and having heard of the ,methodists1 who held a meeting every ,sabbath in a house about a mile distant from ,harewood1 she secretly resolved to attend1 if possibly1 she might find the hidden peace1 which she had hitherto sought in vain4 ,here she met with a few humble but sincere persons1 who could sympathise with her state of mind2 and from whom she received such instruction and encouragement1 that1 not long after while pleading with ,god in the secrecy of her chamber1 she obtained 'redemption through the blood of ,christ1 even the forgiveness of sins4' ,much to the chagrin of her father1 she now became an avowed ,methodist2 and was subjected to the petty persecution1 which usually awaits the first in a family that embraces vital godliness4 ,on one occasion1 her father locked her out of the house2 and1 on another1 threatened to shoot her1 but she remained firm to her profession2 until at length1 her consistent and steady deportment was rewarded by the conversion of her two brothers1 ,john and ,william1 and also of two of the servants4 ,the increased displeasure of the old gentleman was signally exhibited4 ,afraid lest ,elizabeth his eldest daughter should also become a ,methodist1 he resolved at once to free his house from all possibility of infection4 ,the two servants were dismissed without ceremony2 and the three delinquents banished to a farm1 which he had purchased1 at ,kirkby ,overblow1 a few miles distant4 ,these precautions were useless4 ,the removal of her sister and brothers1 together with the occasion of their banishment1 so much affected ,elizabeth1 that in fact it contributed to the result it was intended to prevent4 ,so foolish and vain are the thoughts of men when they attempt to arrest the operations of the ,spirit of ,god4 ,isolated and freed from control1 the young converts were now left to obey the dictates of conscience without further opposition4 ,in their new home they were thrown more directly in contact with the ,methodists1 and especially formed acquaintance with ,richard ,burdsall1 with whose class they at once connected themselves4 ,richard ,burdsall was one of those bold and distinctive characters1 whose sterling piety and ardent zeal shining forth from under a rude exterior1 gave such peculiar lustre to the age of early ,methodism2 and indicated an agency1 specially raised by ,god1 to break up the fallow ground and clear away the thorns1 that the incorruptible seed of truth might find a soil congenial to its germination and growth4 ,his conversion1 which occurred at the age of twenty1 was accompanied by indubitable proofs of its reality2 and instantly followed up by entire consecration to ,god4 ,the path of usefulness soon opened out before him2 and in spite of 'fightings without and fears within1' he pursued it with undeviating integrity to the close of a protracted life4 ,his shrewdness and originality of thought1 quaint and pointed method of expression1 combined with such an intimate acquaintance with the word of ,god1 that some said he had the scriptures at his fingers' ends1 and others nicknamed him 'old chapter and verse2' and above all1 his known integrity and uncompromising zeal for the glory of ,god1 amply compensated for the want of cultivation1 and rendered him as a lay preacher so exceedingly popular and useful1 that he was repeatedly solicited to enter a higher sphere1 and devote himself to the work of the ministry4 ,he was twice appointed by ,mr4 ,wesley to the ,york circuit1 in which he was resident2 and in six different instances1 invited to take charge of independent congregations2 but1 although he so far yielded to the request of the former as to make the experiment for nine months1 he voluntarily retired1 under the conviction that he was called to occupy an humbler but not less useful sphere4 ,his labours1 which were extended over a considerable part of ,yorkshire and ,lincolnshire1 were blessed by ,god to the salvation of thousands4 ,by day toiling at the vice or the anvil1 and by night preaching the glad tidings of the ,gospel1 his life was spent1 ',twixt the mount and multitude ,doing and receiving good until1 within a fortnight of his death1 at the advanced age of eighty-eight1 he delivered his last discourse1 and died shouting ,victory1 ,victory1 through the blood of the ,lamb4 ,at the period of oar narrative ,mr4 ,b4 resided at ,kearby1 about a mile from the ,kirkby farm1 where he soon became a frequent and welcome visitor2 and by his counsels and example1 contributed much to confirm the faith and piety of its inmates4 ,the two brothers became useful local preachers1 and remained faithful unto death2 and with ,mary commenced an intimacy1 which1 notwithstanding considerable difference of age and circumstances1 was ultimately consummated in marriage4 ,the story of the courtship is amusing and characteristic4 ,mary was fair to look upon1 and having moreover the prospect of a handsome fortune1 commanded many admirers4 ,one day when several of these aspirants for her hand were present1 ,mr4 ,b4 stepped in1 and1 perceiving how matters were going1 quietly slipped behind her and whispered1 ',i mean to have thee myself'4 ,this abrupt avowal had the desired effect4 ,the blooming damsel preferred the widower with four children1 though twice her own age1 to younger but not more worthy suitors2 a decision she never had occasion to regret4 ,the engagement thus strangely brought to a crisis1 was not entered into without much serious forethought and prayer4 ,the path of ,providence was distinctly indicated1 and there remained but one obstacle in the way of the proposed union1 and that was to secure the consent of ,mr4 ,stables2 which1 to quote ,mr4 ,burdsall's own words1 'to me appeared like asking him for his life'4 ,i was however providentially helped out of this difficulty2 for as ,i was returning from preaching one morning1 ,i met him in a narrow lane at some distance from his own house4 ,when he saw me1 he turned round as though he would not meet me4 ,the lane being strait1 he took hold of my mare and said1 ',what are you a riding preacher now'8 ,i answered1 ',to be sure ,i am1 for you see ,i am upon my mare'4 ,he then said1 ',are my sons right1 think you1 when they can go to a public house and drink with people and pay nothing'8 ,i replied1 ',you are not to give credit to what the world says of us ,methodists1 or of your sons4 ,i believe your sons fear the ,lord1 and are wishful to do what is right'4 ,he said1 ',well1 he that endureth to the end the same shall be saved'4 ,i replied1 ',that is ,god's word1 but it will not suit every one'4 ,he then wished to know whom it would not suit4 ,i answered1 ',it will not suit the unregenerate1 for were ,i to tell sinners1 that if they endured to the end in their sins they should be saved1 ,i should lie2 for they cannot be saved if they do3 neither will it suit the self-righteous1 for the word of ,god says1 ',except your righteousness exceed the righteousness of the scribes and pharisees1 ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven'4 ,what ,i said1 seemed to carry conviction to his mind4 ,he said1 ',they say you are a good preacher1 ,i shall come and hear you'4 ',i should be glad to see you'1 replied ,i1 'but ,i fear your master will not let you come'4 ,we then proceeded towards his house in friendly conversation1 and when we were just going to part he said1 ',they say you are going to marry my daughter4' ,i answered1 ',i doubt they grieve you with1 it4' ,he said1 ',nay1 not at all1 for my daughter shall marry whom she likes4' ',you speak very honourably1' said ,i1 'if you only stand to your word4' ,to this he replied1 ',i will1 she shall marry whom she likes4' ,i said to him1 ',i will make you this promise1 that ,i will not marry your daughter for the sake of her fortune1 for ,i do not believe you will give me any with her4 ,if ,i can be assured that it is of the ,lord1 ,i will marry her though you turn her into the street destitute2 and1 without this persuasion1 ,i would not marry her though you were to give her your whole estate to do so3 therefore do not blame me4' ,he said1 ',i cannot1' and we parted4 ,notwithstanding this plain conversation1 ,mr4 ,stables was highly displeased with the match1 and offered to give his daughter an additional portion on condition that she would not prosecute it2 adding1 ,if you do1 ,i'll give you sixpence a-week1 and you may go about singing ,methodist songs4 ,on their marriage1 which took place shortly after1 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,burdsall removed to ,york4 ,the offended father1 true to his word1 sent his daughter forth literally destitute2 not even permitting her to take her personal apparel4 ,it was not until twelve months had elapsed1 that any further communication took place4 ,the interview is thus related by ,mr4 ,burdsall in his own quaint style4 ,i happened to be passing near his house as he was going from it2 on my calling to him1 he asked what ,i wanted with him4 ,i said1 ',i want to know what place you mean me to have in heaven8' ,he smiled1 and asked1 ',do you mean to go there8' ',i hope so1' said ,i4 ,he then asked me why ,i had married his daughter4 ,i told him1 because ,i loved her and thought she would make me a good wife4 ,i added1 ',you know1 sir1 that ,i told you before ,i married her1 that ,i would not marry her for the sake of her fortune2 neither have ,i1 ,i do not expect any1 the ,lord blesses us without any1 and he will still continue to bless us4' ,he acknowledged the truth of what ,i said1 and we parted4 ,the fire of wrath was still smouldering in the heart of the old man1 and awakened in the mind of ,mrs4 ,burdsall feelings of painful anxiety1 especially1 as it was apparent1 that life was ebbing fast to its close4 ,mr4 ,b4 therefore1 a short time after1 addressed a kind but faithful letter to him on the great subject of salvation1 and concluded with these remarkable and expressive words1 ,i have no other reason for writing to you1 that ,i know of1 than this1 that the sun is going down4 ,this produced no immediate effect1 only1 whenever they met1 ,mr4 ,stables would say1 ,you write parables to me4 ,the allusion however so appositely and wisely put1 like an arrow directed to the mark1 had fastened upon his conscience1 and was secretly undermining the strength of long and obstinately-cherished resentment4 ,the marksman was skilful1 but still better1 a man of fervent effectual prayer4 ,as a ,prince he had power with ,god and with men1 and prevailed1 for when a man's ways please the ,lord ,he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him4 ,so it turned out4 ,mr4 ,burdsall says1 ,one time1 as ,i was returning home from preaching at a distant place in a very wet cold and hungry state1 and as night was coming on1 having to pass his residence1 ,i thought ,i would call and see if he would receive me4 ,i knocked at the door1 and he himself opened it4 ,seeing me he called his eldest daughter and said1 ',here is thy brother1 come and take his horse4' ,i alighted and went in4 ,he then accosted me as he had done once before1 asking1 ',what are you a riding preacher now8' ,i answered1 ',to be sure ,i am2 for ,i have ridden from ,york to ,seacroft1 and from thence to your house4' ',well1' said he1 ',i know you live well4' ,i replied1 ',we do2 but ,i have not lived so well to day as ,i might have done2 for ,i feel rather hungry4' ,he smiled1 and bid his daughter put on the tea kettle4 ,we then entered into conversation1 in which he said1 ',you write parables to me1 for you told me the sun was going down4' ,i answered1 ',i did so1 and my reason for it was1 ,i knew ,i had stirred up your wrath in marrying your daughter against your mind1 and was fearful lest the sun should go down upon it4' ,he burst into a flood of tears1 and was so melted down1 that for three hours1 ,i was prompted both by his feelings and my own to speak of the love of ,christ to poor sinners4 99 99 99 ,this was a night to be remembered as my reconciliation with ,mr4 ,stables was at this time effected4 ,the understanding thus happily brought about was never after interrupted2 and ,mr4 ,stables practically evinced the sincerity of his feelings by securing to his daughter an annuity for life4 ,in his last illness1 which occurred a few years later1 ,mr4 ,burdsall1 by his own request1 frequently visited him1 and ministered to his spiritual wants4 ,he died in peace on the #acth of ,june1 #aghg4 ,the first fruits of the union of ,richard ,burdsall and ,mary ,stables1 was ,mary1 the subject of the present memoir--the step-sister of the ,rev4 ,john ,burdsall1 who still survives4 ,she was born at ,york1 without ,bootham bar1 ,june #aith1 #aghb4 ,the house which no longer exists1 stood just under the shadow of the old gateway1 nearly opposite the modern crescent1 known as ,st4 ,leonard's ,place4 ,the foregoing facts1 which to some may appear superfluous1 are here introduced not merely with the view of making the reader acquainted with the antecedents of my honoured mother2 but the much higher object of illustrating the sovereign mercy of ,god1 and tracing the growth of the religious element in the family4 ,many a page deeply interesting and instructive might be written which would unfold the grace of ,god in the history of particular families1 flowing as a stream of light from generation to generation1 or diffusing itself in the collateral branches2 here swelling as broad rivers and streams1 and there narrowed down to a single channel4 ,the causes of such alternations might be profitably investigated1 and recorded4 ,the inquiry into one's ancestry would thus answer a nobler purpose than the gratification of human vanity1 or the recovery of an alienated inheritance2 it would exhibit the influence of the past upon the present1 afford important lessons of encouragement or admonition1 and discover our claim perhaps1 to something better than gold or silver for the good man even though he is poor1 leaveth an inheritance to his children's children4 ,how far the moral character as well as the physical constitution of a parent may affect the happiness and control the destiny of his children1 is a question1 which may be incapable of an exact and satisfactory solution2 but the general fact1 notwithstanding some strange exceptions1 7which however may not be altogether incapable of explanation17 is sufficiently established1 that examples of singular excellence1 or notorious profligacy may usually he traced to seeds sown in a former generation4 ,they are not therefore to be altogether regarded in the light of isolated phenomena1 but as the result of causes1 which may be more or less accurately determined4 ,at all events1 ,god reveals himself as a jealous ,god1 visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him1 and ,,shewing ,,mercy ,,unto ,,thousands ,,of ,,them ,,that ,,love ,,him ,,and ,,keep ,,his ,,commandments4 ,,ii4 ,,early ,,dawn4 ,,thou ,,hast ,,hid ,,these ,,things ,,from ,,the ,,wise ,,and ,,prudent ,,and ,,hast ,,revealed ,,them ,,unto ,,babes4 ,matt4 xi4 #be4 ,what solemn interest surrounds the dawn of immortal existence1--that precious portion of human life1 the first four or five years1 which may be termed the perceptive period1 too often treated as a mere blank1 in which nothing is to be attempted2 when the soul is all eye1 all ear1 continually storing up in an almost faultless memory1 impressions1 which go far to mould the future character1 and which reason1 so soon as it is able1 will certainly use as part of the material out of which it must form its conclusions6 ,how much of the future depends upon the kind of influence to which the infant mind is subjected6 ,happily for ,mary ,burdsall these early years were carefully watched and guarded4 ,the bold and uncompromising character of her father1 and the gentle piety of her mother1 secured to her a combination of influences particularly favourable to the development of moral and religious feeling4 ,lessons of truth and love1 as yet beyond the comprehension of the child1 were effectively taught by means of bright and living examples2 and hence grace began to operate with the first unfoldings of reason4 ,her earliest recollections were associated with the farm at ,sandygate4 ,when about four years old1 her grandfather ,stables1 now reconciled to his daughter1 proposed to undertake the charge of ,mary's training and education4 ,this arrangement was overruled1 providentially as it would seem2 for ,mr4 ,s41 although strictly moral and religious in his way1 was a stranger to experimental godliness1 and only obtained the knowledge of the truth in his last moments4 ,the occasion of her return to her parents was probably his increasing age and infirmity1 as the only impression she retained of him in after life was that of a somewhat crusty and ill-tempered old man1 with a huge bobwig1 who always laid in bed4 ,his last words to her1 which were vividly impressed upon her mind1 were1 that it was a pity she should go home to be spoiled by ,methodism4 ,the few months she spent at ,sandygate were not however without some good and permanent result4 ,her aunt ,elizabeth1 who was scripturally enlightened1 and in a great measure free from other engagements1 solicitously occupied herself in endeavouring to impress her tender heart with divine truth4 ,from her lips she learned to lisp the ,lord's prayer1 the ,apostles' creed1 several of ,watts' divine songs1 and in particular the hymn commencing ,how vain are all things here below4 ,with reference to this period she says in her journal3--,the spirit of ,god strove with me when but a little child4 ,one time1 ,i remember1 while repeating my prayers to my aunt1 the grace of ,god shone so sweetly upon me1 ,i was melted down into tenderness before the ,lord2 and it seemed as if the glory of the ,lord shone round about me1 while ,i repeated the well-known hymn ',glory to ,thee1 my ,god1 this night4' ,at another time1 the ,spirit of prayer was so poured upon me my sleep for a season fled4 ,thus the ,lord brooded upon my infant mind4 ,glory be to his adorable name6 ,shortly after her return to ,york she heard the venerable founder of ,methodism preach in ,peaseholm ,green ,chapel2 and though at that early age incompetent to retain any recollection of the sermon1 his saintly appearance made on her imagination a vivid impression1 which was perpetuated through life1 and often mentioned in the family circle with the liveliest feelings of pleasure4 ,on this occasion1 the last on which he preached in ,york1 ,mr4 ,wesley appears to have been in one of his happiest moods1 as he remarks in his journal1 ,the word was as fire1 and all that heard it seemed to feel the power thereof2 a circumstance which no doubt greatly contributed to fix the memory of his features upon the mind of a child so young4 ,and still more so1 as the venerable man1 on descending from the pulpit1 placed his hand upon her head1 and gave her his blessing4 ,the ,rev4 ,j4 ,burdsall1 who was also present1 once communicated to the writer an amusing and interesting incident1 that happened in course of the service1 which illustrates ,mr4 ,wesley's love of harmony1 even when1 he had lost the power to create it4 ,it is well known that he delighted to hear the men and women each take their proper part in congregational singing2 but it seems in this instance1 the men in the warmth of their feelings had transgressed the limits assigned them4 ,mr4 ,w41 whose ear was offended by the slightest discord1 somewhat sharply rebuked them4 ,as this failed to produce the desired amendment1 he stopped again1 and said1 ,listen to brother ,masterman1 who was at that time the leading singer4 ,still dissatisfied1 he stopped a third time1 and said1 ,listen to me1 at the same time taking up the strain1 but as his voice was cracked1 and broken with age1 it afforded such a miserable example as to excite a general titter4 ,as a child ,mary was distinguished by unusual vivacity of disposition1 and her fondness for fun and frolic often betrayed her into trouble4 ,at times she was wilful and passionate1--a spirit wisely checked by her mother1 whose discipline was equally strict and judicious4 ,such ebullitions were transient1 and invariably followed by feelings of regret and sorrow4 ,adverting to this subject in after life she said with deep gratitude1 ,i had a good mother and father to keep me in1 and restraining grace4 ,on several occasions her life was placed in imminent peril1 and1 but for that merciful providence1 which specially watches over the little ones1 she must have fallen a victim to her thoughtlessness4 ,one of these occurred when she was at school2 where1 by some means her dress caught fire2 happily the smoke and smell of burning attracted the attention of her teacher who rushed to her rescue1 and succeeded in extinguishing the flames1 but not until her outer garments were completely consumed4 ,her education was very slender1 being confined to the simplest rudiments of human knowledge1--a circumstance she often regretted1 although in after life the disadvantage was in a great measure overcome by diligent and select reading4 ,when about eight years of age1 the development of her early religious feelings received a partial check through the pernicious influence of a servant girl1 who perceiving her love for singing1 taught her1 without the knowledge of her parents1 a number of foolish songs4 ,two years later she gave decided indications of serious thought4 ,she began to take pleasure in being alone1 and acquired a remarkable love of solitude1 which characterized her through life1--a feeling which was strengthened by reading an article in one of the early ,arminian ,magazines4 ,sometimes she would steal off to the cottage of a pious old churchwoman of the name of ,halifax1 who lived at a short distance from her father's house2 and listened with delight1 while the good old lady read to her out of the ,psalms1 and talked about heavenly things4 ,on one of these occasions she was so deeply affected by a sense of her sinfulness and accountability1 that pointing to the cat which lay by the fireside1 she exclaimed1 ,i wish ,i was that cat2 and when asked why1 replied1 ,because it has not a soul to save4 ,the old lady gently rebuked the foolish thought1 and1 shewing her its wickedness1 endeavoured to lead her to ,him1 who said1 ,suffer the little children to come unto me4 ,not long after she began to meet in her father's class1 and received her first ticket at the hands of the ,rev4 ,francis ,wrigley1 at that time ,superintendent of the ,york circuit4 ,by weekly intercourse with the people of ,god1 her aspirations after divine sources of happiness gradually strengthened until she was twelve years old1 when they assumed a more definite form2 although1 in consequence of her tender age1 her views of evangelical truth were necessarily crude and defective2 for she still spake as a child1 understood as a child1 reasoned as a child1 ,it was during a few days' visit to her aunt ,elizabeth1 who now resided in the suburbs of ,york1 having married ,mr4 ,j4 ,hawkins of that city shortly after her father's death1 that she became so unhappy on account of her sinful and miserable condition1 that she could not refrain from much weeping4 ,the thought of entering eternity without a change of heart filled her with alarm4 ,every looming cloud had a voice which spoke of the judgment to come2 every unpropitious event awakened painful forebodings4 ,her fears1 which were the genuine fruits of divine influence1 were further aggravated by the popular excitement of the times4 ,france was threatening war with ,england1 and the prevailing apprehensions of the multitude communicated themselves with double force to the heart of the sorrowing child4 ,what1 thought she1 if they should come now1 and ,i should be killed in my sins4 ,indeed her trouble increased to such a degree that her aunt was grieved1 imagining that her mother would think she had been unkindly treated4 ,she therefore resolved to take her home4 ,on the way a number of circumstances occurred which to ,mary's childish imagination were pregnant with evil1 and prognosticated nothing less than the day of general doom4 ,the city was in a state of unusual commotion1 a report had gained ground that the invader was at hand1 some foolish person had caused the massive portcullis of the city gate to be let down1 several recruiting parties were parading the streets1 two of these she met1 and the shrill blasts of a few mounted trumpeters1 together with a dense and portentous cloud1 which just at the moment spread itself upon the horizon1 completed her dismay4 ,she reached home in tears4 ,her mother1 whose solicitude was awakened1 inquired the cause4 ,she replied1 ,mother1 ,i can't tell you1 but nothing in this world will make me happy4 ,suspecting the real state of her feelings1 her mother conversed kindly with her1 and administered suitable consolation1 but in vain4 ,after committing herself to ,god in earnest prayer1 she retired to rest with the conviction1 that she was the greatest sinner in the world2 but the next morning1 which was the holy ,sabbath1 broke upon her with healing in its wings4 ,she awoke with the words in her mind1 ,what a blessing to know that my ,jesus is mine4 ,her soul was immediately filled with a calm sweet joy1 which she was unable to describe4 ,she arose from her bed1 and went to the house of ,god1 her heart still glowing with these newly awakened emotions2 and while on her way thought within herself1 ,o that ,i had a voice that would reach to all the world1 ,i would tell them how happy ,i am4 ,this occurred on the #abth of ,february1 #agie4 ,but the transport of her feelings1 after enduring for a season1 at length subsided2 yet not without leaving a permanent though perhaps not easily defined impression4 ,it may be asked was this conversion8 was it genuine8 and in a child so young8 ,we answer it would be very difficult to prove that it was not4 ,one thing is certain1 that from this time there was a settled purpose to serve the ,lord1 which spite of fluctuating feeling and periods of wintry coldness was steadily kept in view2 ever and anon gathering strength until it ripened into maturity4 ,the sapling1 because it bends to the breeze is not therefore destitute of life2 unless it be torn up by the roots1 or scorched and withered by the noon-day sun1 or absolutely frozen by the winter's cold1 it will gradually wax and grow until its massive trunk is able to bid defiance to the storm4 ,conversing on this subject with one of her children at a late period in life1 when her judgment was matured1 and her views of divine truth rendered more clear by her approximation to a better world1 she said1 ,i lost my peace because ,i grieved the ,lord by a trifling disposition1 but the ,lord did not leave me2 then1 employing the language of the lamented ,david ,stoner1 she added1 ,i have been converted a hundred times4 ,to another of her children1 after using similar language she said with peculiar1 emphasis1 ,i have been aiming to please ,god all my life1 ,i can say that4 ,her conviction was that the work was real1 but that at the time1 she did not understand the nature of it2 and hence from causes clearly ascertainable1 it was as in many similar cases1 soon overshadowed by circumstances of doubt4 ,the truth is1 children are just as capable of experiencing the grace of ,god as persons of riper years2 but they are not capable of defining their feelings1 or of understanding the great doctrines of salvation1--and for this very reason1 they are more liable to be subjected to fluctuations both of feeling and purpose4 ,it would be well if some older people1 who do not take the pains to obtain a clear and intelligent view of the religion they profess1 were not equally unstable and from the same cause2 if there was no occasion for the apostolic admonition1 ,be not children in understanding2 howbeit in malice be ye children1 but in understanding be men4 ,the feelings of children1 when employed about the great subjects of religion and eternity1 are not lightly to be discouraged1 even when mixed up with much that a maturer judgment must condemn2 they should be fostered with solicitous care4 ,the tender plant requires gentle culture2 touch it not too rudely lest you check its development2 watch it carefully2 support its weak and fragile stem2 tenderly remove what is injurious2 and give it plenty of scope1 that it may put forth its young fresh leaves2 and it will bloom by and by with all the richer fragrance and beauty4 ,forbid them not1 cries the ,saviour4 ,let them come with their first fruits1 and lay the offering of their childhood unsullied by unholy communion with the world at the ,master's feet4 ,let them come with their cherry lips1 and sparkling eyes1 and loving hearts4 ,let them come before age has curdled their blood1 and the pleasures of life have blunted the keenness of their susceptibilities4 ,let them come1 let them come4 ,the ,saviour welcomes their approach4 ,the fragrance of the sacrifice they bring is precious in his sight1 and while he folds the little ones in his arms1 he lifts his eyes to heaven1 and rejoicing in spirit1 says1 ,i thank thee ,o ,father1 ,lord of heaven and earth1 that thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent1 and hast revealed them unto babes1 even so ,father1 for so it seemed good in thy sight4 ,providentially ,mary ,burdsall was under judicious direction1 and retained her religious purpose although she lost the sweetness of her enjoyment4 ,her experience assumed that unsettled phase which often characterises the earlier stages of youthful piety4 ,now miserable from a consciousness of having grieved the ,spirit of ,god1 and again hopeful1 confident1 and happy4 ,sometimes she was driven even to despair1 and admitted the thought that the day of grace was past for ever4 ,one day while in this state of feeling she overheard her father conversing with a friend on the awful case of ,francis ,spira1,footnote3 ,francis ,spira an advocate of ,padua1 ,ann4 #aede1 that being desperate1 by no counsell of learned men could be comforted2 he felt1 as he said1 the pains of hell in his soule1 in all other things he discoursed aright2 but in this most mad4 ,frismelica1 ,bullovat1 and some other excellent physicians1 could neither make him eat1 drink or sleep2 no persuasion could ease him4 ,never pleaded any man so well for himself1 as this man did against himself2 and so he desperately died4 ,springer1 a lawyer1 hath written his life4--,burton's ,anatomy of ,melancholie4 her mind was filled with great horror1 and she was constrained to seek refuge in prayer4 ,while she was pleading with ,god the words were applied1 ,turn ye at my reproof1 and the snare was broken4 ,during this period of mental conflict she steadfastly maintained her connexion with the church2 and thus escaped that total loss of spiritual feeling1 into which many1 in similar circumstances1 plunge themselves by withdrawing from the circle of religious influence4 ,her exceeding volatility of temper1 which was the cause of her instability1 often occasioned her bitter reflections2 and as it was a source of trouble to herself1 excited the anxiety of her mother1 who frequently said to her1 ,there's a wide world will tame thee4 ,her own words in reference to this stage of her history were1 ,they never turned me out of class1 but from my thoughtlessness and giddiness1 ,i am sure1 ,i was not a proper ,methodist4 ,still the struggle between grace and nature was secretly going on2 and every new proof of her own weakness but contributed to strengthen and establish her resolves4 ,about this time she became acquainted with ,miss ,barrett1 afterwards ,mrs4 ,zech4 ,taft1 from whose counsels and example she derived much advantage4 ,her first introduction to this excellent woman occurred while on a visit to her uncle ,mr4 ,wm4 ,stables1 who had succeeded to his father's farm at ,sandygate4 ,it seems her uncle and aunt were invited to meet ,miss ,b4 at a social party at ,harewood1 but being otherwise engaged1 it was agreed that ,mary should go in their stead1 accompanied by her aunt's sister4 ,as she left the house her uncle said1 ,i hope they'll convert thee4 ,on arriving at the place where the party was assembled she found a room full of strangers1 and among them ,miss ,b41 to whom she was specially introduced as ,richard ,burdsall's daughter4 ,this secured her a kind and hearty reception4 ,after tea followed a ,prayer-meeting in which petitions were particularly offered on her behalf4 ,her pride was wounded and she thought within herself1 ,if they would but pray for themselves it would be all very well2 but notwithstanding this revulsion of feeling the impression made by this interview was not only salutary1 but indelible4 ,she felt and wept much1 and from this time gave herself more diligently to the study of the word of ,god and prayer4 ,subsequently she had many opportunities of meeting with ,miss ,b4 in ,york1 and the spiritual benefit which she derived from these interviews led to a permanent friendship4 ,,iii4 ,,golden ,,opportunities4 ,,in ,,the ,,morning ,,sow ,,thy ,,seed4 ,eccles4 xi4 #f4 ,have you ever witnessed a glorious sunrise8 ,have you ever seen the orb of day go forth as a bridegroom to run his race1 arrayed in robes of crimson1 and purple1 and gold8 ,then nature has taught you the lesson that early opportunities are the brightest and best4 ,golden are the early hours of morning1 when the mind is most vigorous1 and the powers of nature1 refreshed by sleep1 are in full play4 ,golden too are the days of early youth1 before the heart is saddened by vanity1 and the spirit pressed down by the accumulating cares and responsibilities of life4 ,let them be diligently improved1 and they cannot fail to bring a rich and profitable return4 ,therefore in the morning sow thy seed4 ,mary ,burdsall was not indifferent to these opportunities4 ,in the beginning of life she formed the habit of early rising4 ,she rose with the lark and sang as merrily4 ,she cultivated a taste for reading and reflection2 and although the natural vivacity of her disposition was a constant snare in her path1 she never lost sight of the purpose she had formed of living for ,god4 ,in secret she communed with her own heart1 and1 the better to secure her growth in grace1 commenced a diary1 which1 with two or three short intermissions1 occasioned by sickness1 was continued until within a week of her death4 ,unfortunately a considerable portion of these manuscripts1 including a period of several years just preceding and following her marriage1 were destroyed by her own hands4 ,what remains1 is however no small proof of her diligence and perseverance1 as they extend to twenty quarto volumes containing about #e1jjj pages4 ,they contain1 besides the record of her inner and outer life1 copious summaries of the discourses she heard2 numerous extracts from books1 especially of passages calculated to impress the heart or direct the life2 and an extraordinary amount of original verse2 for from the first she appears to have adopted the practice of putting her thoughts into rhyme1--a practice which when unaccompanied by true genius is generally a profitless waste of time2 but which in her case was made a valuable means of personal edification1 as well as of administering counsel1 consolation or admonition to others4 ,few events of public or private interest1 in her own family or in the circle of her acquaintance1 could pass without provoking her ready pen4 ,subjects poetical and unpoetical were alike constrained into measured lines2 which1 if not always remarkable for rhythm1 were at least rich in evangelical sentiment1 and pervaded by deep spirituality of thought4 ,some of these productions are inserted in this volume1 in the order in which they occur in her diary1 not because they possess any literary merit1 but as eminently characteristic of her habits of thought and feeling4 ,in fact they are transcripts of her own heart1 and she seems often to have preferred this method of expressing her fervid emotions to the use of cooler prose4 ,a few examples of the entries made when she was fifteen will suffice to show what were the aspirations of her early youth3-- ,this is the last day of #agig4 ,o may ,i this day put off the works of darkness1 and put on the armour of light3 and begin a new life with a new year1--,lord1 help me this day to live to ,thee4 ,let ,thy love be shed abroad in my heart4 ,inspire the spirit of prayer4 ,let my few days be spent in praising ,thee1 the ,giver of all good gifts4 ,loose my heart from every earthly object1 and let my affections be set upon ,thee and things above4 ,lord1 pardon my coldness1 and help me in future to double my diligence to make my calling and election sure4--,during service my mind was very much troubled2 but glory be to ,god1 ,he gave me1 in a measure1 a praying spirit2 and ,i trust ,he will answer ,his own4 ,spirit's prayer4 ,lord1 speak the answer to my heart now4--,went with ,miss ,barrett to the ,poor-house4 ,she exhorted from1 ',i believe in the communion of saints1 and in the forgiveness of sins4' ,after that ,i went with her to the select band2 she then came home1 and slept with me4 ,the ,lord blessed my soul in her company4--,my mind is troubled2 but do ,thou1 who in every temptation makest a way for ,thy people to escape1 deliver my soul out of prison1 that ,i may praise ,thee4--,i went with ,miss ,b4 to see some sick people4 ,one man was mourning for redemption in the blood of the ,lamb2 but1 before we came away1 he rejoiced in the ,god of his salvation4--,lord1 keep me from the vanity of this alluring world4 ,may ,i love ,thee supremely4 ,the ,lord blesses my soul greatly4 ,blessed be ,his name1 ,he reproves me2 may ,i take the reproof4--,a gleam of love was let into my soul at the meeting2 but after1 ,i felt very dull and stupid4--,i think ,i am willing to be any thing1 or nothing1 only give me to feel ,thy love in my heart4 ,do1 ,jesus1 increase my faith1 but let it be now4 ,help me1 ,i pray ,thee1 to live as in ,thy sight all the day long4--,called to see ,ann ,f4 ,we went up-stairs and prayed together4--,i have had more of the presence of ,god the last few days4 ,the ,lord be praised4 ,i want to have my evidence made very clear4 ,o shine on my soul1 and make the darkness light before me2 that ,i may greatly triumph in the ,god of my salvation4--,i heard ,mr4 ,simeon at ,belfrey ,church2 it was a gracious time of refreshing from the presence of the ,lord4--,miss ,barrett spoke at ,clifton4 ,the power of the ,lord was evidently felt4 ,as it was a very wet night we went into a barn1 but it filled so fast1 we returned into the open air4 ,miss ,b4 prayed that ,god would stop the bottles of heaven for a few minutes2 and1 glory be to ,his name1 ,he answered her request4 ,the ,prayer-meeting continued some time1 and several souls were brought into liberty4--,i gave way to a light spirit1 which has done me much hurt4--,lord1 pardon me for giving way to lightness of spirit2 help me in future to redeem the time1 and to take due care to prepare myself for the great day4--,o1 ,jesus1 rouse me from my sins1 and give me to wake up after ,thy likeness4 ,do fill me with ,thy love4 ,let it flow into my poor disconsolate soul1 that ,i may serve ,thee with all my ransomed powers4--,o let not my heart be set on the creature more than ,thee2 but let me give myself to ,thee without reserve4 ,i go to school2 ,lord1 help me to learn the lessons of ,thy grace as well as arithmetic4 ,drive this dulness1 both of body and soul away2 that ,i may learn with speed and delight4--,thou knowest1 ,lord1 that ,i have not lived adorning my profession2 let the time past suffice1 and let me begin to glorify ,thy name4 ,lord1 save me from flattery1 for ,christ's sake4 ,amen4--,january1 #agii4 ,began to meet in band with ,sarah ,b4 ,o ,lord1 give us one spirit with ,thyself4 ,i want1 ,o ,lord1 to love ,thee supremely above all beside2 give me1 ,i pray ,thee1 the victory over myself4 ,these extracts bear1 no doubt1 the impress of childish thought2 yet they indicate that she had already formed large views of the nature of inward religion4 ,in her estimation it was a blessed reality of which she might have a clear evidence1 and which could only reach its perfection in the likeness of ,god4 ,its principle was love1 controlling the most secret motions of the heart1 and regulating the minutest details of daily practice4 ,this religion she proposed to herself as the purpose of life4 ,for this she earnestly prayed1 and to help her resolutions1 she sought and cultivated the society of such as were excellent in the earth4 ,the select character of the associations she formed was1 perhaps1 one main cause which contributed to her after proficiency4 ,she once mentioned to the writer1 as a matter of profound gratitude to ,god1 that she had always mingled among religious people1 and only remembered one week in her whole life which had been spent among persons not professing godliness4 ,she lived and breathed in the pure atmosphere of prayer and love1 where the ,holy ,spirit loves to dwell1 until she became one spirit with ,him4 ,the chosen companions of her youth were such as already enjoyed1 or like herself were seeking1 the experience of divine truth4 ,among other early acquaintance was ,miss ,nodes of ,skelton ,hall1 afterwards the wife of the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,newton4 ,this lady had recently become a ,methodist1 and burning with all the fervour of first love frequently came to ,mr4 ,burdsall for counsel and encouragement3 ,her first interview with ,mr4 ,newton occurred at ,mr4 ,burdsall's house in the following manner4 ,during the sittings of the ,district-meeting1 ,mr4 ,b4 had invited the ,revds4 ,messrs4 ,needham and ,newton1 with some others1 to dinner2 and sent an invitation to ,miss ,nodes to come and join them3 to this ,mrs4 ,nodes objected2 but promised to call the next day and apologize4 ,she did so in company with her daughter1 just as the party were about to kneel down to prayer1 and they were consequently invited in4 ,after prayer a hymn was proposed1 which was sung by ,mr4 ,newton and ,miss ,burdsall1 who had a clear and melodious voice of considerable compass4 ,miss ,nodes then remarked1 that at ,skelton they had to live by begging1 as they only had preaching occasionally2 and if one of them would go over and give them a sermon1 it would be a great charity4 ,mr4 ,n4 immediately promised to accompany ,mr4 ,burdsall the following day2 and from that time commenced an acquaintance which resulted in their union4 ,in many cases1 and very commonly in the case of young persons1 who have been religiously trained1 the process by which the mind reaches the assurance of faith is very slow4 ,the going forth of the ,spirit is prepared as the morning4 ,the first streaks of dawn bring a degree of comfort1 for there is promise of day2 but the clear and unclouded light of the ,divine favour is yet distant4 ,the doubtful twilight1 however1 continues to expand and brighten1 until at length the sun peeps above the distant hills1 or bursts through the morning cloud1 and all uncertainty is banished in a moment4 ,it was thus with ,mary ,burdsall4 ,two years later we find her still seeking the indubitable witness of the ,spirit4 ,the work of grace was slow and deep4 ,she writes3-- ,father met our class2 when he spoke to me ,i could not forbear weeping4 ,o that ,i could weep my sins away4 ,j4,t4 and ,b4,m4 prayed and mentioned me by name4 ,this touched my pride4 ,oh6 for simplicity6--,in the forenoon ,i went to ,pavement church to hear dear ,mr4 ,emmington4 ,his text was1 ',sirs1 what must ,i do to be saved8'--,a searching discourse4 ,o ,lord1 revive ,thy work in my soul2 probe me to the bottom4--,i feel a very hard heart2 but1 ,lord1 a touch1 a look from ,thee1 can break my heart of stone4 ,o melt me into love4--,alas for me6 ,i seem quite barren1 but is there not a cause8 ,yes4 ,lightness of spirit1 love of the creature1 pride1 and dislike1 are sins that so easily beset me4 ,i am overcome by them4 ,but1 ,o ,god1 ,thou hast all power1 now resume ,thy right4 ,let the powers of hell no more prevail4--,in the class father asked me1 if ,i ever went to pray2 ,i answered in the affirmative2 but1 ,lord1 ,thou knowest ,i am not so much in earnest as ,i was some weeks ago4--,father called upon me to pray2 ,i did not refuse1 but have since been tempted to believe ,i should be a greater hypocrite4 ,lord1 make me a ,christian indeed in whom there is no guile4--,lord give me to enjoy the reality of ,christianity1 ,i want to be thine4 ,god help me to give up my own will4 ,bless him whom ,i have given up with a very great growth in grace4 ,this entry refers to an attachment which met with the disapproval of her parents and was relinquished in the spirit of filial obedience4 ,just before tea1 ,mr4 ,spence asked me if my heart was right2 ,i could not forbear weeping4 ',god be merciful to me a sinner4' ,what an enemy is a light and trifling spirit6--,i was grieved because ,i had disobliged my mother4 ,o for a meek and quiet spirit4 ,the particulars of the next two or three years are only to be gathered from a few scanty notes attached to a small pocket ,bible1 in which she had carefully noted the sermons she heard with the impressions made on her own mind4 ,the greater part of these are written in short-hand1 and consequently useless4 ,but such as are intelligible prove that she was in the habit of weighing the words of the preacher and applying them to her own heart4 ,some expressions seem to indicate that the clouds which had so long overshadowed her spirit were beginning to disperse and give place to a serene and sunny sky4 ,we quote a few examples4 ,oh6 how happy was ,i6--,i did not hear to profit1 ,i was troubled in mind4 ,i felt it4--,i long to find my all in ,god4--,i felt the love of ,jesus precious4--,i am answered4--,blessed1 heart searching doctrine6--,a telling sermon but ,i was unmoved2 how hard am ,i4--,he like some of his brethren harps at the gown and cassock4--,i felt much softened4--,memorable6--,alas6 ,i profit little by all ,i hear2 surely it is because my faith is small4 ,ah4 me6 how long8 how long8--,a precious discourse to me4 ,he preached my experience4--,the solution of the text was a gratification1 while ,i heard profitably4 ,he made a very droll remark when describing those 'who make their belly their ,god2' he said 'they make their kitchen their temple1 their cook and butcher their priests1 and their belly their ,god4'--,i felt my soul blessed and encouraged while hearing of sin being destroyed1 with an earnest longing for its accomplishment4 ,i felt the burden of indwelling sin very heavy2 ,o when shall the happy period commence that ,god shall be all in all4--,i staid the communion for the first time2 how solemn6 ,i was humbled and melted down exceedingly4--,o how infinitely short ,i fall of walking with ,god6 ,the love-feast was immediately after2 the master of the feast was there3 ,i felt his presence and spoke4--,mr4 ,sutcliffe's farewell sermon2 may the ,lord bless and reward his labours in this place4 ,the most important memorandum is a collection of rules for the regulation of her own conduct1 adopted about the year #ahje2 and these1 we do not hesitate to add1 were written not merely with pen and ink1 but impressed by the ,spirit of ,god upon her memory and heart1 for those who knew her will be able to recognize in them the key of her after life4 ,they are as follow3-- #a4 ,let me rise early4 #b4 ,never let me trifle with a book with which ,i have no present concern2 in applying myself to any book1 let me endeavour to recollect what ,i may learn by it1 and then beg suitable assistance from ,god4 #c4 ,never let me lose one minute of time1 nor incur any unnecessary expense1 that ,i may have the more to spend for ,god4 ,when ,i am abroad let me be desirous of doing good2 let me have in readiness some subject of contemplation and endeavour to improve my time as ,i go along4 #d4 ,let me endeavour to render myself agreeable and useful to all around me2 by a tender compassionate friendly behaviour2 avoiding all trifling and impertinent stories2 remembering that imprudence is sin4 #e4 ,never let me delay anything1 unless ,i can prove that another time will be more fit than the present2 or that some more important duty requires my immediate attention4 #f4 ,o may ,i never enter into any long schemes about future events1 but in general refer myself to ,god's care4 ,direct me virtue's happy course to run1 ,and let me be instructed by thy ,son1 ,in every station say thy will be done4 #g4 ,o that ,i may be delivered from the least inclination to judge my neighbours2 and that henceforth ,i may find fault with none so much as myself4 ,to these are added several extracts from the general rules of the ,methodist ,societies2 particularly those which refer to the use of time1 the government of the tongue1 reading the ,scriptures1 private prayer1 and abstinence4 ,the standard of ,christian character at which she aimed was high2 and perhaps this very circumstance contributed to delay the happy experience she sought4 ,she looked at herself instead of looking directly to ,christ4 ,she contrasted her own deficiencies with the exact obedience required by a perfect law1 instead of simply casting herself upon the blood which justifieth not the righteous but the sinner1 which believeth in ,jesus4 ,the simplicity of salvation by faith was long overlooked1 but at last the snare was broken2 and about the close of the year #ahje she obtained the deliverance she so earnestly desired4 ,we here quote her own words4 ,while alone at ,mrs4 ,t4's1 the ,lord was graciously pleased to visit me with a manifestation of his love2 increasing my faith1 and applying these words with power to my mind2 ',the word is nigh thee1 even in thy mouth and in thy heart4' ,i had such a view of the willingness of ,christ to save by faith as ,i never had before4 ,notwithstanding1 ,i think1 if ,i had been better acquainted with the way of salvation1 ,i should e'er now have been able to claim the blessing through the merits of ,christ4 ,but it is so simple ,i overlooked it2 and thought myself wiser than ,i was4 ,now ,i begin to see with the ,psalmist how ignorant ,i am1 even 'as a beast' before the ,lord2 but blessed be ,his glorious name1 ,i feel my confidence is in ,his mercy3 yet ,i feel myself the most unprofitable of all ,his hands have made1 and wonder why to me this boundless love4 ,,iv4 ,,the ,,holy ,,estate4 ,,and ,,they ,,twain ,,shall ,,be ,,one ,,flesh4 ,matt4 xix4 #e4 ,wedded life1 perhaps more than any other1 is a test of character2 but when entered upon reverently1 discreetly1 soberly1 advisedly1 and in the fear of ,god1 contributes in a higher degree not merely to earthly enjoyment1 but to that which is the great end of life1 human salvation4 ,the constant action of two wills1 thus intimately brought into contact with each other1 must either inflame or mould the spirit1 just in the degree in which it is subjected or not to the influence of divine grace2 and where both parties are governed by ,christian principle1 the effect is mutual happiness and advantage4 ,nature is subdued1 and grace brought into full play4 ,the sorrows1 difficulties1 and temptations of life are lightened by reciprocal help and affection2 the inheritance in heaven is pursued with greater zest because of united effort and encouragement2 while the constant discharge of the respective duties of husband and wife serves for the development of the mind that was in ,christ4 ,hence the ,apostle ,paul speaks of the marriage state as a great mystery1 representing the union of ,christ and his church4 ,but marriage has reference to another and not less important object1 the training of a holy seed4 ,the union of parents is intended to secure blessings upon1 their children1 and where the divine requirement is prayerfully attended to1 there may be expected to be a fulfilment of the gracious promise1--,i will pour my ,spirit upon thy seed1 and my blessing upon thine offspring4 ,in the prospect of assuming the responsible relation of wife1 ,miss ,burdsall thought and felt deeply4 ,her first anxiety was1 that she might find in her husband one who would help her in the way to heaven2 and the next that she might be able to discharge the duties of her new station with efficiency and fidelity4 ,the predominating desire of her heart was to find her happiness in ,god1 and to be conformed in all things to his will4 ,two days before marriage she writes3-- ,i feel this day my soul aspires heavenward1 and my greatest bliss is derived from ,emanuel's side4 ,glory be to ,god1 ,i feel ,i love him1 but long for more conformity to his will4 ,mr4 ,lyth1 who had solicited and won her affections1 was the son of a respectable farmer residing in the neighbourhood of ,york4 ,originally designed for agricultural life1 he had forsaken the plough to undertake a flourishing business1 which had been commenced by an elder brother lately deceased3 and being early converted to ,god1 under the ministry of the venerable ,sutcliffe1 the proposed union was every way propitious4 ,the marriage was solemnized on the #ahth of ,february1 #ahjf1 in the parish church of ,holy ,trinity1 ,york2 and so far as the principal parties were concerned with intensely religious feelings4 ,indeed ,mr4 ,burdsall's loud and hearty responses to the prayers superseded the functions of the clerk1 and somewhat astonished the officiating minister4 ,the wedding dinner was spiced with the presence of the ,rev4 ,samuel ,bardsley1 whose portly person1 and beautiful simplicity contributed not a little to the amusement of the younger guests3 and the same evening1 the good old man preached an appropriate sermon1 selecting for his subject1 the marriage feast in ,cana of ,galilee4 ,mrs4 ,lyth's own feelings in relation1 to this event1 and during the first few years of wedded life1 are best expressed by herself4 ,memorable day6 ,i gave my hand to ,john ,lyth at ,hymen's sacred altar4 ,i endeavoured to do it by faith1 as well as ,i could2 but felt extremely stupified4 ,we went to spend the day at ,newton upon ,derwent4 ,with me it passed more pleasantly towards the close1 indeed1 while we were conversing about ,god on our way home1 ,i found it truly good2 but when we came in sight of lay new habitation1 the sensations that seized my mind are better felt than ,i can describe4 ,it is now six weeks since ,i began to wear the matrimonial chain4 ,i have clasped it without one thought of regret1 and through grace ,i hope ,i ever shall2 yet am conscious of my own incompetency to fill up the sphere ,i have entered4 ,oh6 my ,god1 help me1 help me4 ,i bless ,god my mind is drawn to seek my heaven in ,jesus1 although my earthly comforts are ready to ensnare me3 yet having been taught to know the uncertainty of all transitory things1 and that ',the fairest things below the sky ,give but a flattering light1' ,i would1 through grace strengthening me1 give ,god my undivided heart4 ,lord1 here ,i am1 take me1 and possess me wholly4--,glory be to ,god my soul lives4 ,i feel 'drawn by the lure of strong desire' to choose ,god for my portion4 ,the last week has been one of trial1 but ,i am constrained to believe the ,lord doeth all things well4--,we arrived in ,scarbro' after being much favoured during a showery day2 but praise belongs to our heavenly ,benefactor4--,we took a walk to the church and castle2 where my dear ,john unfortunately lost his watch4 ,after searching for it in vain for nearly an hour1 and thinking of returning home1 providence led him to the place where he had dropped it4 ,surely it can be esteemed no other than the gift of heaven1 since it had lain an hour exposed to the public crowds that resorted thither4--,the day was fine1 and we spent it in sitting a little in the house1 and in walking upon the sands and among the rocks1 seeking for shells1 the beauty of which1 with the wide ocean1 and surrounding prospect1 made me wish for the pen of a scribe and the imagination of a poet2 but ,i found wishing to be a vain employment4 ,about a quarter past eight in the morning my ,eliza was born4 ,blessed be ,god he graciously supported me in the trial4 ,o that mother and child may be devoted to ,thee1 thou ,god of infinite compassion4 ,give me more grace that ,i may walk unblameable in thy sight1 and before those over whom thy providence has place me4 ,teach me to order my conversation aright1 and to keep myself unspotted from the world4 ,o my ,god1 ,i have nothing to offer for all the blessings asked2 but help me to be thy devoted servant from this moment4 #ahjg4 ,my dear husband has made a purchase1 which is to me a source of anxiety2 but ,lord1 ,thou knowest1--,thou rulest over all1 help and direct4 ,o let us in all our ways acknowledge ,thee1 that thou mayest direct our steps4 ,keep1 ,o keep us from being a discredit to ,thy cause2 and in this particular set us right4--,i am left alone with my infant1 who begins to steal my affections more than ,i ever thought of4 ,o ,god1 take my poor heart1 lost a creaturely attachment be too strongly rooted within my breast4 ,lord1 ,thou knowest me altogether1 and the secret springs of my affection1 cleanse me from all defilement2 purify me from all my sins1 and let me this moment yield myself entirely to ,thee2 and as ,thou deignest to visit dust1 visit me4--,time glides away2 eternity approaches2 and yet1 alas6 my mind fluctuates as the wind4 ,o my ,god1 shall ,i never be firmly grounded upon ,thyself4 ,come1 ',desire of nations1' save me from anxiety respecting worldly things2 let all our temporal affairs be under ,thy management1 and our happiness centre in doing thy will4 ,how vainly have ,i sought in things beneath ,to place a confidence1 which faithless earth ,can never recompence6 ,o firmly fix ,my soul on joys above the smiling skies2 ,let ,jesus' love inspire1 and fill my heart4 ,god bless my dear companion4 ,settle and fix his affections on ,thyself1--the supreme good4 ,let every faculty of his mind be at ,thy command4 #ahjh4 ,twelve o'clock at night4 ,lord1 my mind aspires heavenward4 ,let heaven1 ,i beseech ,thee1 come into my soul4 ,let the radiance of ,thy love fill me with light and life divine4 ,give me sensibly to feel and know1 that ,thou art reconciled to me1 without ,thy grace1 effectually undone4 ,i feel something within my heart1 is it the effect of ,thy love8 ,if it is1 let it more powerfully affect my soul1 that ,i may live in constant readiness to take my flight to yon bright realms above4 ,but is that bliss prepared for me8 ,o let me feel it4 ,this afternoon my brother ,richard died4 ,alas6 how uncertain are all sublunary things6 ,he was just entering life1 and lo6 he is snatched away4 ,surely the all-wise ',i ,,am' saw evil gathering1 and kindly removed him to a happier clime1 safe from impending danger4 ,well1 my ,richard is gone2 while ,i1 four years older1 am yet alive4 ,mercy1 that took him1 spares me with the same gracious design2 'not willing that any should perish1 but that all might have everlasting life4' ,may that blessed end be answered in my poor soul1 which without ,thy enlivening presence feels an 'aching void' which the whole world cannot fill4 ,this day has been a day of affliction1 but it drives me to the ,lord4 ,my dear husband and children are entwined about my heart4 ,lord1 help me to give them freely up1 and do ,thou take1 and possess me whole4 ,the following lines were addressed to a valued friend3-- ,whitehead1 awake6 and sweep the lyre again ,with touch seraphic to a ,saviour slain2 ,a ,saviour1 worthy of sublimest verse1 ,a ,saviour's love too mighty to rehearse2 ,the purest theme that ever fired the tongue1 ,gave life to genius1--harmony to song2 ,fill thy enraptured soul with thought divine1 ,and pour its fulness on the glowing line4 #ahji4--;,have had a tooth drawn4 ,o that the dire root of sin were as effectually taken away1 never more to disturb my happiness2 and that pure perennial peace might succeed1--,i have been visiting the sick3 but oh6 how inadequate to the responsible task6 ,o my ,god awake my drowsy powers1 and fit me for every sphere ,i have to fill in life4--,i feel more heartfelt joy in leaning upon ,christ than anything else2 yet it is hard work to keep the mind disentangled from worldly cares4 ,things needful to me1 seem the most dangerous1 and what ,i am most liable to be ensnared by4 ,in visiting some infirm people my soul was deeply affected1 when ,i considered their age1 and ignorance1 and my own inability to instruct them4 ,how great is the ignorance of mankind6 ,o that ,god would apply some word spoken by his poor dust4 ,during the time the ,rev4 ,a4,e4 ,farrar was stationed in ,york1 her aspirations after purity of heart reached a crisis1 and she was enabled by faith to claim the promise2 ,faithful is he that calleth you1 who also will do it4 ,for some time her convictions were so clear and distinct1 that to use her own words she durst not say she had not received the blessing4 ,but this happy experience--the ,christian's highest privilege on earth--was soon interrupted by doubtful reasonings2 still her conscience was ,quick1 as the apple of an eye1 ,the slightest touch of sin to feel4 ,as an instance of her conscientiousness we mention a circumstance which took place somewhere about this time4 ,a farmer1 who owed my father a considerable sum of money1 had been repeatedly importuned for payment1 but without effect2 and it was at length given up1 as a bad debt4 ,one ,sabbath morning1 while she was sitting alone1 he unexpectedly called to settle his account4 ,she said1 ,we have nothing to do with receiving money on a ,sunday2 it is the ,lord's day1 and we do not think it right4 ,well1 replied the man1 holding the money in his hand1 you might as well take it while you have the chance of it4 ,but neither argument1 nor expostulation1 could induce her to touch the forbidden notes4 ,the man therefore pocketed the money1 and went away2 but not without an admonition on keeping holy the ,sabbath day4 ,no one eventually loses anything by the maintenance of principle1 and the debt was honestly discharged the following week4 ,the solitary record of the year #ahaj1 is contained in the following lines1 which may be regarded as expressive of her own feelings4 ,jesus1 ,thy glorious name shall still ,my musing thought and tongue employ2 ,whose presence doth creation fill4 ,be ,thou my portion and my joy4 ,jesus6 blest source of all my hope1 ,in whom my spirit finds its rest2 ,whose precious blood1 inspiring thought6 ,hath purchased heaven to make me blest4 ,where can a mortal language find1 ,to tell such love when angels fail8 ,god did so love the world1 and died1 ,that love by justice might prevail4 ,drawn by this love1 a witness ,i1 ,that ,god to all the ,saviour gave2 ,who willing are1 may testify1 ,he can unto the utmost save4 #ahaa4--;,i thank ,god for the blessed privilege of hearing the ministers of righteousness1 but lament their word makes so little impression upon my heart4 ,i seem a forgetful hearer1 or as one that hears the word with joy1 but little fruit appears to perfection4 ,yesterday1 irritated by some frivolous cause1 ,i was thrown off my guard1 and grieved the spirit of ,god4 ,this occasioned a sense of condemnation1 and though now the ,lord blesses me1 ,i cannot forgive myself4 ,o that ,i again enjoyed the sanctifying influences of ,his ,holy ,spirit6 ,until this is the case1 ,i shall be whirled about by my enemies within4 ,lord make me more in earnest1 that ,i may never rest till again the sweet power of sovereign love has possession of my heart4--,i rose early to attend the prayer-meeting1 and receiving grace from ,him whose birth we commemorated1 ,i fancied my hill stood strong2 and that ,i should be able to rise above everything ,i might have to try me3 but alas6 ,i again proved my own weakness4 ,my little charge were some of them sick1 others cross1 all wanted me2 so that all my graces were put to the test4 ,o that ,i had more patience1 that ,i might sit 'calm on tumult's wheel4' ,lord1 ,thou knowest me altogether1 ,i would not be a hypocrite1 neither wound ,thy cause by impatience2 ,thou hast promised strength for the day1 and ,i am determined to cast my whole soul on ,thee2--to have ,thee for my ,saviour4 ,at the lovefeast much was said respecting family prayer4 ,i bless ,god4 ,this duty is my delight4 ,to a friend slighted in love1 she writes-- ,alas my friend6 what can ,i say to cheer8 ,what sound is sweet to a distracted ear8 ,turn from the creature1 disappointed1 turn3 ,lament your folly1--deeply humbled mourn1 ,your disregard of ,him1 who died to gain ,your worthless heart1 and bid you love again4 ,o6 turn to him1 who gave himself for you1 ,your love1 your heart1 your life1 are all his due2 ,no fickleness or change in him is known1 ,he loves and will for ever love his own2 ,here place your treasure1 and here find your rest1 ,make ,god your all1 and be for ever blest4 #ahab4--,through grace ,i am resolved on the side of virtue4 ,i have peace in ,god1 and a growing desire to imitate him in my daily walk2 but no marvel if all my best actions need purging from their dross4 ,i seem all pollution2 yet my soul lays hold upon the ,saviour1 who alone is able to purify my nature4 ,on ,february #crd1 my sister ,anna died1 eleven years old4 ,i was called to witness the pleasing1 painful1 awful scene4 ,while kneeling by her bed1 after a paroxysm of extreme agony1 as she had a moment's respite1 my mother said2 ',ask her if she is happy to lift up her hand4' ,she did instantly and said1 ',a kiss1' and so turned recollectedly to each1 with a smiling countenance1 while her dying lips were but just sensible of the impression2 then after another short struggle she sweetly fell asleep in ,jesus4 ,so ,i alone am left to tell it4 #ahac4--;,after adverting to a number of painful circumstances1 she adds3--,praise ,god1 the seizure of my own body1 though by far the most painful of these occurrences1 has been the greatest blessing4 ,on the first attack ,i was stupified--but the ,lord liberated me and supplied grace in the hour of need4 ,thus have ,i experienced how suddenly the ,lord can take away the choicest of all blessings1 health4 ,being through mercy again restored1 my soul derives its happiness from ,god4 ,i see before me broad rivers and streams springing from that fountain1 whence all solid comfort flows2 but great weakness1 much unfaithfulness1 many omissions and errors in myself4 ,lord increase my faith1 that ,i may enter the holiest by the blood of ,jesus4 ,for some time ,i have met in band with ,mrs4 ,w4 ,we have had many precious seasons together4--,a circumstance occurring which was misconstrued1 put me suddenly out of temper1 and caused me much pain of mind1 besides displeasing others together with my dear partner4 ,o my ,god1 but for ,thy blood1 ,i should lose all hope of eternal happiness2 yet blot not1 ,i beseech ,thee1 my name out of the book of life2 but if ever my heart went with my words1 ,i entreat ,thee1-- ,chase this self-will through all my heart1 ,through all its latent mazes there4 #ahad4--,reflecting on the past--my mercies and ingratitude1 my warnings and neglect1 my privileges and non-improvements1 my affliction and restoration to health1 ,thy love1 ,o ,god1 in ten thousand instances1 and my small affection1 ,i wonder why ,i am still the object of ,thy care1 but ,i see the cause in ,jesus' blood4 ,there the reason lies4 ,o might ,i here my nature lose1 and gain the ,infinite4 ,musing on the loss of her children1 three of whom had died in infancy1 she writes3-- ,blest mother6 thus to yield to ,god ,the gifts so lately given2 ,blest babes ,i for you have cross'd the flood1 ,and safely 'scaped to heaven4 ,i have been very much harassed with temptation of an awful kind1--to blaspheme the blessed ,spirit4 ,my ,god1 preserve me4 ,i shudder at the thought1 and have necessarily been driven to ,god in prayer4--,i have to praise ,god for temptation2 for seeking refuge in ,jesus1 my only defence against my enemy1 ,i have a firmer confidence in ,him as my ,saviour4 ,whither1 ,o whither1 should ,i go8 ,to ,thy blest wounds ,i flee2 ,no refuge can ,i find below1 ,my help is all in ,thee4 ,the illumination6 a crowded city6 many devices6 ,the face of the people seems to speak peace1 but ,thou1 ,lord1 seest the heart4 ,set my heart right4--,as the clock struck three ,i was awoke with the words2 ',put on the helmet of salvation and the weapon of all prayer4' ,for a time fear crept over me1 lest my husband and child1 both from home1 should return ill2 but as ,i meditated1 the passage occurred2 ',all things work together for good to them that love ,god4' ,i was instantly delivered2 and all ,i could titter was1 ,glory be to ,god4 ,as ,i lay praising and praying1 these lines arose in my mind4 ,if time is so precious1 and death on the wing1 ,oh6 shelter me1 ,jesus1 secure from his sting2 ,now open the fountain1 and wash out my stain1 ,that to live may be ,christ1 and to die may be gain4 ,this1 this is the honour to which ,i aspire1 ,the grace to attain it is all ,i desire2 ,oh6 fill me with heaven1 through faith in ,thy blood1 ,then crown me with glory1 and lift me to ,god4 ,i have had a precious morning--arose a little before five1 and spent an hour alone4 ,god was with me4 ,glory6 ,glory6 ,how time hurries on6 ,another year has almost stolen away4 ,where am ,i8 ,what am ,i8 ,thus much of time is gone2 how much fitter am ,i for heaven8 ,i pause1--am alone1--but ',thou ,god seest me4' ,on my knees1 ,i ask ,thy mercy1 and implore ,thee to be mine for ever4 ,precious ,jesus6 ,i feel ,thee willing to save me1 and a sweet confidence ,thou wilt save me4 ,o6 the sweetness of union with ,god6--,my mind is troubled about the future4 ,sensible of my own weakness1 my children's welfare awakens my concern4 ,o my ,god1 take charge of my little ones4 ,while attempting to instruct them to-day1 my two little girls seemed affected4 ,o let this be the beginning of ,thy fear in their hearts1 that shall never1 never1 depart4 ,her anxiety on behalf of the salvation of her children was intense4 ,her efforts were commenced with the first dawn of intelligence1 and continued with unremitting ardour until they were rewarded with success4 ,by timely instruction and caution1 by counsel and expostulation1 by warning and reproof1 by a godly discipline1 by frequent letters in which the one thing was never forgotten2 by prayers and supplications mingled with tears1 as they knelt alone at her side2 by intercessions offered day and night in secret on their behalf2 by enforcing the punctual observance of religious duties1 such as reading the word1 family devotion1 and public worship2 and by her own pure example1 she never ceased to train them in the way that they should go4 ,but her chief strength lay in ceaseless and effectual prayer1 which was urged in the spirit of him who said1 ,i will not let ,thee go1 except ,thou bless me4 ,is it wonderful1 if her children and grandchildren are found walking in the truth8 ,for many successive years1 she was accustomed to address to each a few lines on the anniversary of their birth4 ,these were always replete with godly counsels1 and wisely suited to the age and circumstances of the individual4 ,the periodical effusion was anxiously looked for1 and highly prized4 ,to our young imaginations1 the productions of her pen glowed with all the fire of ,milton1 and flowed with all the softness and melody of ,spenser2 and if a riper judgement has robbed us of the pleasing fancy1 it has been at least replaced by the grateful conviction that they were the overflowings of a mother's heart1 and by the blessing of ,god1 contributed in a great measure to give an early bias in favour of religious truth4 ,a specimen written at this time is here inserted4 ,,to ,,my ,,richard4 ,unuttered feelings glow within my heart1 ,ah6 in what language can ,i paint them best8 ,that you1 my darling boy1 may know a part1 ,unconscious of what fills a mother's breast4 ,childlike and innocent your actions are1 ,no thought of guile as yet within your breast2 ,alas6 the wily foe1 not lurking far1 ,may soon corrupt and desecrate your rest4 ,might ,i unveil the snares1 that scattered round1 ,beset your path from childhood to old age2 ,but ,love allwise1 in mystery profound1 ,has hid in darkness all the varied page4 ,be it sufficient1 grace is ever nigh2 ,if in the path of rectitude you tread1 ,no ill shall harm you2 you will soon descry ,the tempter's snare1 however deeply laid4 ,choose virtue1 ,richard1 shun the path of vice1 ,let not ungodly youth your mind ensnare2 ,take this wise caution1 ,if they would entice1 ,consent thou not2 be sure that sin is there4 ,walk with the wise1 that you may wiser grow2 ,let age teach wisdom1 hear it with respect2 ,it can in time forwarn1 and danger show1 ,where you no secret mischief may suspect4 ,in useful learning all your youth engage2 ,from simple knowledge of your mother tongue1 ,proceed to figures2 then1 from stage to stage ,pursue each science1 though the way be long4 ,by knowledge learn your ignorance to know1 ,nor dream you have the height of wisdom gained2 ,no greater proof of ignorance below1 ,than loud to boast of what we have attained4 ,read useful books--the ,bible most prefer1 ,in it your ,maker's will is clearly shown2 ,then bend your humble knee in secret prayer1 ,that faith may make its precious truths your own4 ,if tales of fiction should themselves present1 ,too oft injurious to the mind of youth1 ,throw them aside2 and sacredly intent ,on your improvement1 follow after truth4 ,when you require relief1 be history true ,of your own land1 and other lands perused2 ,this will instruct1 give entertainment too1 ,while neither time nor talents are abused4 ,thus1 in your youth1 redeem the fleeting hour1 ,that you in future life may useful be2 ,by word and deed as far as in your power1 ,to stem the torrent of impiety4 ,remember1 as your present life is spent1 ,future reward or punishment is due2 ,oh6 then improve the precious moments lent1 ,and everlasting life shall wait on you4 ,praise ,god1 ,i have a partner desirous of joining heartily in the ,christian warfare2 often are we blest while we pour out our souls together before the ,lord1 ,o for a closer walk with ,god4 ,v4 ,,shower ,,and ,,sunshine4 ,,now ,,men ,,see ,,not ,,the ,,bright ,,light ,,which ,,is ,,in ,,the ,,clouds2 ,,but ,,the ,,wind ,,passeth1 ,,and ,,cleanseth ,,them4 ,job xxxvii4 #ba4 ,that stage of life which immediately precedes a ripe age1 when man is in the full vigour of his strength1 is not unfrequently like an ,april day mingled with sunshine and shower4 ,the care of a rising family1 and the accumulating interests of business and society1 bring constant alternations of joy and sorrow2 designed by ,god to soften and fructify the heart1 which might otherwise become too callous under the scorching blaze of the world4 ,happy is it1 when these kindly workings of a sublimer providence1 cause the graces of his spirit to shoot forth like the tender grass springing up out of the earth by clear shining after rain2 and when the experience acquired in seasons of vicissitude1 is treasured up in the heart for future use4 ,mrs4 ,lyth had her ,april weather preparatory to the summer of her usefulness1 as will appear by further extracts from her journal4 #ahae--,my father ,lyth left us to join the disembodied throng4 ,the last fortnight of his life was chiefly spent in prayer4 ,i believe he died penitent4 ,thou best of ,beings6 prepare me for the approaching trial4 ,in the fire may ,i lose nothing but sin4 ,fortify my mind1 and let patience have its perfect work1 that by no pain ,i may fall from ,thee4 ,here ,i call to mind1 that ,thou hast brought me through six troubles2 ,o leave me not in the seventh4 ,let me again prove ,thy faithfulness4 ,i scarcely know how the last fortnight has escaped4 ,o the rapidity of time6 well might one say1 ',o time than gold more precious1 more a load than lead to fools4' ,i am thankful1 all my solid happiness is derived from ,god2 and though ,i have many earthly comforts ,i can say1 ',all my springs are in ,thee4' ,i long to drink more freely of those living fountains1 and to draw constant supplies from the inexhaustible fulness of the ever-blessed and adorable ,jesus4 ,oh6 it is sweet to meditate on this loved theme4 ,rising into ,god we lose ourselves1 and seemed wrapped up in ,deity4--,having met with a little disappointment1 my mind is in some degree unhinged2 ,i have been begging of ,god to undertake the matter1 and overrule all for the best1 which ,i hope has been the case2 yet ,i find it hard to give up my own will4 ,lord1 help me4 ,i accompanied my father and mother to see cousin ,hannah1 who is apparently declining4 ,her prospects in life were exceedingly bright1 but happiness is not in them1 as there can be no enjoyment without health4 ,what a mercy1 afflictions spring not out of the dust3 ,i am again called to experience it4 ,our apprentice1 servant maid1 and ,eliza1 are all in the scarlet fever4 ,better than ,i could expect considering the pressure upon me1 ,i am constrained to say1 judgment is mixed with love4 ,may we lose nothing but dross1 and shine brighter for being in the furnace4--,i am informed by letter that cousin ,hannah is no more1--it says nothing how she left this world4 ,i long to know--will to-morrow inform me8 ,i purpose to be at her funeral1 if ,god give leave4 ,o ,thou1 who wast to the ,israelites both a pillar and a cloud1 if ,thou go not up with us1 suffer us not to journey2 for ,thou knowest my heart1 ,i wish to please ,thee4--,we went to ,kirkby to the interment of my late ,cousin1 who1 ,i am informed1 died happily4 ,nearly her last intelligible words were1 ',blessed are the pure in heart1 for they shall see ,god4' ,so she closed this mortal scene1 and left her blooming prospects1 fair estates1 and all the bright anticipations of youth1 for the lone silence of the tomb4--,i feel more endeared than ever to the invisible world1 being warned as ,i believe1 by some departed friend1 to give diligence4 ,i am also reminded by the death of my cousin how vain are all things here below4 ,perhaps it was her kind spirit--who can tell8 ,a ,,question ,,asked4 ,does marriage1 like the features of a fair and lovely face1 ,lose all its sweet attractions1 when age comes on apace8 ,do soothing acts of kindness and words of comfort go1 ,when troubles are assailing1 and pleasure's cup is low8 ,no1 surely heav'n design'd it more to ameliorate ,the lonely state of humankind1 when first ,he form'd a mate4 #ahaf4--;,i went to the ,school-room2 and never did my eyes behold a scene so pleasing3--boys and girls in different parts of the room crying for mercy2 while others were rejoicing in ,god4 ',out of the mouth of babes and sucklings ,thou hast ordained praise4' ,i longed for the salvation of my three children who were all there1 but ,i had no power to take any active part2 my mind seemed paralized4--,in the midst of our afflictions ,god has not forgotten us4 ,our ,waller an apprentice has obtained mercy1 and ,eliza's heart is touched4 ,o that ,god would save all our family4 ,i have had some 'seasons of refreshing2' but not enjoying the sanctifying influences of ,god's ,spirit1 ,i have felt a disposition to be discontented with the arrangements of ,providence respecting the health of my children4 ,i daily mourn this inbred corruption but not sufficiently1 or ,i should be more in earnest to get rid of it4 ,at present ,i feel a longing for the blessed liberty which many express4 ,o may ,i share in the baptism which is now so gloriously shed upon this city4--,the fifth day ,i have spent in my new habitation2 all is confusion1 and must remain so for some time to come4 ,this would be a matter of little moment1 if my mind were not distressed by the affliction of my ,eliza4 ,so ,i find every joy has its sorrow4 ,lord1 as ,thou knowest what is best for me and mine1 give me patience1 and let every dispensation of ,thy providence be sanctified4--,we opened our new shop4 ,the first customer demanded credit1 and the second took up her money with her goods1 and went away with both4 ,providentially it was restored4 ,we have now made a fortnight's trial1 and have great cause of thankfulness for the prospect of success4 ,the last few months have been full of toil and anxiety1 but thank ,god1 ,i can say3 ',while blest with a sense of ,his love ,a palace a toy would appear2 ,and prisons would palaces prove1 ,if ,jesus but dwelt with me there4' ,i have been aiming1 though feebly1 to give ,god my heart4 ,it is good to come to the ,lord in private2 it is there ,i find my greatest enjoyment4--,for several nights ,i have suffered much pain2 as much ,i think1 as my patience could endure4 ,in one of the paroxysms1 the passage was continually in my mind1 ',the wise shall inherit glory4' ,throughout yesterday found it very sweet4 ,i am in part deprived of the public ordinances1 but find solid happiness in breathing my wishes to the ,throne1 and derive sweet solace from ,him1 whose smile creates my day4--,find in private with my ,god1 ,i gain the most substantial peace2 at least ,i have not learned the noble art of being ''midst busy multitudes alone4'--,our servant was taken dangerously ill4 ,i think ,i did not feel any disposition to murmur2 but want firmer reliance on the power of ,god1 whose promise never fails4 ,have lately had some blessed meetings with my ,god1 perhaps preparatory to this trial4 #ahag4 ,to-morrow1 two criminals are to suffer death for the crime of murder4 ,how awful from an earthly judge to receive the last sentence of the law6 but how much more so to hear from ,thee that final sentence1 ',depart ye cursed6' ,o1 my ,god1 let the cry of the prisoners come up before ,thee4 ,in pity bow ,thy gracious ear1 ,incline the sinner's heart to prayer1 ,and draw him to ,thy ,son1 ,through whom1 though vile he is1 ,thou wilt ,remove the blackness of his guilt2 ,oh6 let it now be done4 ,thou ,friend of sinners1 if ,i may ,approach1 ,o give a heart to pray1 ,and let ,thy ,spirit plead4 ,but few the hours he has to live1 ,o give repentance and forgive1 ,forgive the bloody deed4 ,at intervals have found it good1 yea very good1 while upon my knees2 indeed ,i must say my happiest moments have been there4 ,why am ,i ever remiss in this duty1 which brings me more solid peace than anything beside8 ,there1 ,i converse with ,god2 there1 behold ,his glory2 there1 forget self2 there1 get love to cover faults2 there1 assimilate to the image of ,god4 ,this week has been marked by the affliction of my two youngest children4 ,how painful to a mother to see them suffer6 yet ,lord1 ,thou knowest1 ,i would rather see them droop and even die1 than that they should live to rebel against ,thee1 and shut themselves out of ,thy kingdom4 ,o my ,god1 on my knees1 ,i present them all to ,thee4 ,bless them with grace and understanding1 and save them for ever4--,i have had to grapple with rheumatism4 ,it is painful1 but what in duration1 when compared with eternity8 ,nothing4 ,may my soul1 evermore fly upward4 ,what need in health to prepare for sickness6 ,there is then plenty to do to hold fast whereunto we have attained4--,cousin ,john ,stables has exchanged life for immortality4 ,his last words were1 ',i am going to heaven1 ,i know ,i am4' ,blest knowledge in the hour of death6 but more exalted1 they who daily live with the assurance ',i am ,thine'1 centering in ,god their hope and wish1--,my dear little ,hannah died1 aged twenty weeks4 ,a sweet smile rested upon her countenance4 ,o ,death6 how art thou robbed of thy terrors1 when infancy smiles in thy presence6 ,have not been at my class for a long time in consequence of ill-health3 to-day ,i might have gone1 but with shame confess1 ,i forgot the time4 ,o ,lord lay not this sin to my charge4 ,my heart would not displease ,thee2 my soul delights in ,thee1 and derives its happiness and peace from ,god my ,saviour3 no merit in myself1 but ,christ is all in all4--,i would this evening offer ,thee my heart2 give me sincerity ,o ,god1 and let me know the sacrifice is accepted4 ,i am under deep obligation to ,thee for having so far removed the pain from which ,i suffered ,may ease be gratefully acknowledged by me1 and let my life show forth ,thy praise4 ,i bless the ,lord for all the good ,i possess1 and am constrained to say1 it is all divine4 ,have begun to read ,locke on the ,understanding4 ,lord enlarge my capacity4--,enjoy better health than for several months2 for this may my soul be truly thankful4 ,it is good for me that ,i have been afflicted2 ,i have learned to value my mercies as the gift of heaven4 ,my anchor is in ,jesus2 from him my peace perpetually springs4 ,i now feel he is my ,god4 ,yet the secret motions of my heart concur with the enemy of my soul to bring me into bondage1 ,i long for victory4 ,when will the happy moment arrive8 ,have lately thought the ,lord has something for me to do2 ,i would not bury my talents in the earth2 but do ,thou ,lord1 who knowest my insufficiency1 direct my way4 ,glory be to ,god1 ,i am blest while calling to mind his innumerable mercies4 ,it is like lifting up the lid of a casket to expose the jewels contained therein to the light of the sun1 whose radiance they reflect1 and whose heat they attract4--,how sweet to be at the throne of grace6 ,have had great freedom with the ,lord while interceding for a fallen friend1 over whom ,i lament4 ,o that ,god would reclaim the wanderer4 ,my soul is sweetly drawn out after more of the image of ,god1 for to the present ,i have but little imitated my ,lord4 ,god help me in my life to display every feature of his character4 ,my dear cousin ,ann is1 ,i fear1 sinking1 so true is it1 ',man cometh up as a flower1' and is cut down2 but she is happy in ,god4 ,this is cause of thanksgiving4 ,many of the excellent of the earth are retreating behind the veil4 ,may ,i work while it is day4 ,what a poor slothful soul ,i have been1 when heaven shines so bright above me4 ,now ,i feel resolved to work4 ,jesus1 ,thou seest my heart1 aid me that ,i loiter no more4 ,a full salvation is what my soul aims at2 but ah6 how grovelling and low are my desires6 language is too poor to express my poverty1 when seen in the light of the ,sun of righteousness4 ,o6 when shall ,i from sin set free1 ,bask in the light of ,deity8 ,expand my heart and fill the wide expanse4--,while ,mr4 ,haswell was preaching1 a woman cried out1 ',bless the ,lord2 bless the ,lord ,o my soul4' ,i trust she was under divine influence4 ,mr4 ,h4 gave out2 ',praise ,god from whom1' c4 ,i began to suspect the power of ,god was more eminently present than ,i imagined3 this led me to seek after it in my own breast1 and to long for a more powerful manifestation4 ,praise ,god1 ,i could say1 ',lo6 ,god is here1 let us adore4' ,on my return home1 ,i met the judge with his retinue returning from court1 lighted by torches4 ,how solemn6 ,but what1 when the ,judge of all the earth shall descend from heaven with a shout and with the trump of ,god6 ,at ,his bar must ,i appear1 and conscience that staunch witness1 give its unimpeachable evidence for or against me1 ,o that ,jesus1 the sinner's friend1 may then sustain my cause4 ,praised be ,his name2 faith springs up in my heart1 and encourages me to believe that ,i shall receive the crown of life4 ,blessed hope6--,mrs4 ---- breakfasted with me4 ,we had a truly blessed morning--our conversation was in heaven4 ,during the day ,i have been troubled with evil reasoning4 ,when shall this body of death be destroyed1 and ,christ be all in all8 ,visited ,miss ,d4 in the asylum4 ,she seems in dark despair2 ,i got her to her knees1 and found it precious to my own soul4--,glory be to ,god ,i dare believe4 ,keep me till ,i am fully saved4 ,am watching my ,william in the measles2 ,richard has just recovered4 ,what a mercy ,i am in health to attend them2 yet am afraid my too anxious care for them has checked my zeal4 ,through mercy my soul lives to-day2 ,i feel a divine appetite1 and am looking for the appearance of my ,lord to the destruction of all the carnal mind4--,at ,stockton lovefeast1 the ,lord opened my mouth1 both in the ,chapel1 and at a neighbouring house2 ,i was constrained to speak4 ,may the imperfect hints thrown out be as bread cast upon the waters1 and what ,i said amiss the ,lord forgive4 ,the peace of ,god ruled my heart4--,the mournful tidings of ,cousin ,mary's death has reached us4 ,the day before1 she was up sewing4 ,how sudden a transition from time to eternity6 ,although at the funeral1 ,i cannot learn how she died4 ,how my heart is oppressed6 ,she has left a fine smiling boy unconscious of his loss1 and her father1 whose displeasure she had incurred by her marriage1 unreconciled4 ,how my feelings are ploughed up6 ,the training of my children occasions me great solicitude4 ,how shall ,i safely steer1 where so many make shipwreck8 ,without ,thy direction and influence1 ,i too shall miss my way4 ,come then1 thou heavenly ,wisdom1 teach me to imbue their tender minds with truth1 that the impression may remain in riper years4--,another parliamentary election4 ,o my ,god elect me 'through sanctification of ,thy ,spirit4'--,my mind suffers keenly in consequence of a conversation with ----4 ,thou1 ,lord1 knowest exactly where the error lies2 let it be discovered4 ,if ,i am in the wrong make me willing to retract4 ,i want to be a ,christian in deed and truth4--,it was impressed upon my mind to call upon ,miss ,m4 ,h41 and urge her to seek salvation1 having long been a hearer of the ,gospel4 ,i scarcely knew how to break through1 as ,i had no particular acquaintance with her4 ,however1 passing by the same day1 providence so ordered it1 that she sat facing the door4 ,i passed1 but remembering my impression1 mustered courage and returned4 ,after inquiring about her health ,i told her my errand4 ,she was affected1 and said she had a very hard heart4 ,i replied1 ',it is not too hard for ,god to soften4' ,with much fear ,i undertook the charge of ,miss ,bentley's class1 in consequence of her indisposition1 but trust the ,lord will soon restore her to active usefulness4 ,the more willingly ,i offer myself to the ,lord1 the sweeter communion ,i find with ,him4--,repeated my visit to ,miss ,m4 ,h41 ,i believe in obedience to the influence of the ,spirit which constrained me--not intending to call at that time4 ,i found her sincerely seeking salvation1 and endeavoured to point her to the ,lamb of ,god4 ,my own soul was blessed while thus engaged4 ,how shall ,i praise ,god for ,his love to a worm8--,called again1 when she told me she had received a visit from the ,lord4 ,she durst not say her sins were forgiven1 but felt encouraged4--,having to pass through some things of a trying nature1 ,i felt fully resigned1 and the throne of grace easy of access4 ,keep me at ,thy feet1 ,o ,god1 that ,i may rise in ,thy likeness and in all things do ,thy will4--,mr4 ,moore remarked in his sermon1 ',happy is the man of one book2' my heart replied1 ,so he is1 for in all ,i read1 ,i find no book so sweet as the ,bible2 yet there are some which are precious1 and which ,i value as a treasure4--,another distinguished mercy4 ,after another attack of cramp the ,lord has been pleased to restore to me the use of my hands1 which have been locked from three o'clock in the morning until evening4 ,may ,i never forget the ,lord's mercy towards me1 but studiously labour to be found of ,him in peace1 that when the awful crisis arrives1 ,i may be ready4 #ahai4 ,i am still in a weak state of body1 unable to attend to my family4 ,o ,lord1 support my mind4 ,feel resolved to cast my soul on ,jesus2 and although ,i have to struggle to retain my hold1 will hang on the ,crucified4 ,this year was one of severe personal affliction1 which continued for several months4 ,at one time little hope was entertained of her recovery1 and none that she would ever again be restored to active life4 ,medical aid seemed utterly unavailing2 but the ,lord had chosen her in the furnace of affliction1 and by these means1 inscrutable at the time1 was refining and fitting her for remarkable usefulness4 ,at length when the process was complete1 contrary to the predictions of physicians1 and beyond the expectations of her friends1 she was given back again to her family1 and the church4 ,in reference to this affliction1 she says1 in a letter to one of her daughters3-- ,your brother ,samuel is put out to nurse2 he is a delicate little boy4 ,i am at ,mrs4 ,f4's out of ,walmgate ,bar1 for the benefit of my health2 if it please ,god to sanctify the means4 ,in some respects1 ,i am better1 but yet very feeble2 however1 ,i am in the ,lord's hands1 and have been for a long time his prisoner4 ,i wish to keep my cause in his hand4 ,poor ,samuel6 ,i every day expect to hear1 that he has escaped to glory4 ,my weakness reconciles me to his loss1 for the righteous ,judge of all the earth cannot but do right4 ,dear ,mary will discover from my writing1 there is an alteration in me4 ,to tell you the truth1 ,i can scarcely recollect how to spell2 my memory is so much impaired by this affliction4 ,but thank ,god1 ,i have the full use of my reason1 and my soul longs to awake after the image of ,god4 ,friends are very kind in visiting me which makes the days pass more pleasantly4 ,i ride out when the weather is fine1 but am able to walk very little4 ,on her recovery she writes3-- ,i would raise my song of gratitude to my ,god1 who1 ,i am confident has restored me in answer to prayer1 though ,i am still very weak4 ,during my affliction my mind has been variously exercised2 sometimes ,i could cast myself with all my concerns upon ,god2 at other times was much depressed2 once in the multitude of my thoughts within me1 it was suggested1 as if a voice spoke to me1 ',what things soever ye desire1 when ye pray1 believe that ye receive them1 and ye shall have them4' ,i thank ,thee for the comfort given1 ,when agonized with pain2 ,the love infused--the taste of heaven1 ,that cheered my heart again2 ,in answer to the faithful prayers ,of many a fervent soul1 ,disease retired--for mercy spares1 ,and makes the sinner whole4 ,,vi4 ,,growth ,,in ,,grace4 ,,as ,,the ,,tender ,,grass1 ,,springing ,,out ,,of ,,the ,,earth1 ,,by ,,clear ,,shining ,,after ,,rain4--#b ,sam4 xxiii4 #d4 ,god doeth nothing in vain4 ,cloud and sunshine1 stormy winds1 and steeping rains1 have each their appointed purpose2 and in their season contribute to bless1 and refresh the earth2 that it may bring forth its increase for the service of man and beast4 ,you have often seen1 how after a shower in the cheerful spring-time1 the green meadows have suddenly put on a fresher and livelier hue2 and the tender grass seemed to grow before your eyes4 ,just so1 in the higher economy of grace1 seasons of trial and affliction have their definite design2 only here the effect is not determined by an irresistible law2 but suspended upon the conduct of man4 ,the heart must be open to receive the genial influences1 which are thus mysteriously communicated2 the will must submissively bow under the dispensations of an allwise ,providence2 and1 especially1 seasons of affliction should be seasons of earnest prayer4 ,then will they be followed by a marked increase of spiritual life and power4 ,mrs4 ,lyth benefitted by her afflictions2 and although she more frequently mourns over her own unprofitableness1 her growth in grace is clearly apparent in her journal1 which we resume4 #ahbj4--;,although ,i have the victory ,i cannot yet say the old man is dead2 some seeds of peevishness yet remain to be destroyed4 ,praise ,god1 ,i hate the garment spotted by the flesh4 ',all peace1 all love1' is the desire of my heart1 and the longing of my soul4--,a day of fasting and prayer2 but separation from every thing that defileth is what is pleasing to the ,lord4 ,may this be my continual abstinence4 ,amen4--,not able to procure a substitute to meet my husband's class1 ,i ventured myself1 sensible of my own unfitness1 and earnestly begging ,god to speak by me4 ,one person went out1 but whatever was the cause1 thank ,god1 ,i felt that my work was with the ,lord4--,went to see poor old ,sarah2 found her confined to her bed but happy in the ,lord3 nature was fast sinking4 ,i wished her to have a nurse1 but she thought she could do alone1 as she had a candle1 and the ,lord was with her3 left her1 but found means to procure a nurse for the night4--,a few days ago ,i was awoke with the words1 ',what shall ,i do for thee8' ,my answer was1 ',lord1 that ,i may live more fully to ,thee1 and for ,thee4' ,unutterable sweetness filled my soul1 and now1 while ,i write1 ,i feel it still4 ,glory be to ,god1 ,his love is ever new4 ,to walk with ,him1 transcends all earthly enjoyment4--,during the last week ,i have learned my own weakness4 ,unaided by divine grace1 ,i have no power to check trifling conversation among professors2 especially such as are older than myself4 ,teach me how to act1 when to speak1 and when to be silent4 ,to-day felt it my duty to visit a neighbour1 and met with a more favourable reception than ,i expected4 ,he has long been ill1 and is now in trouble4 ,i told him that ,i had come to bring him good news1 that ',christ ,jesus came into the world to save sinners2' and while conversing with him on the necessity of an interest in the ,redeemer's blood1 in order to forgiveness1 he seemed to listen with attention4 ,may the ,lord make him a witness of the saving power of the ,gospel1 ,some little matters1 which require a patient and forgiving spirit1 have occurred to fill up my character as a ,christian4 ,lord1 help me and give me that spirit which in ,thy sight is of great price4--,thirty-eight years old6 ,how short the time appears6 yet how varied the scenes through which ,i have passed6 and how different the views ,i have had4 ,praise the ,lord4 ,with respect to the soul1 ,i have clearer views than ever4 ,my feet are upon the rock4 ,when ,i look over my life1 how blotted it appears6 am lost in astonishment1 that ,god1 who made all things1 and upholds all things by the word of his power1 should stoop to such a wretch as ,i4 ,o the depth of the riches of ,his mercy to me6--,i have received a letter from ,cousin ,ann1 in which she boldly confesses the cleansing blood4 ,hope it will prove a lasting blessing to me2 feel ashamed that ,i have not more openly acknowledged what the ,lord has done for my soul4 ,by this omission1 have clipped the wings of my faith1 and encouraged a diffidence1 which ,i long to have removed2 have hesitated upon the plea1 that ,i would wait and see whether the work was genuine or no4 ,o my ,saviour forgive1 and condescend to teach one of the dullest scholars in ,thy school4--,have found the five o'clock prayer-meetings very profitable1 and cannot be thankful enough that ,i have health to go4 ,at the prayer-leaders' ,lovefeast1 said ,i could give up all for ,god1 but have since asked myself1 ,is this true8 ,lord1 ,thou knowest it is the desire of my heart to give myself to ,thee without reserve3 accept the offering4 ,i feel ,thee now pouring in ,thy ineffable peace4 ,my soul has but one object1 inward and outward holiness4 ,o make me quite clear4--,the intercourse is open between my soul and ,god1 but yet ,i have had to struggle for it4 ,o save me fully4 ,this is what ,i want4 ,last ,tuesday ,i felt ,i could not doubt4 ,stamp me1 ,saviour1 with ,thy seal1 and keep me ever ,thine4 ,i again met ,mrs4 ,g4's class4 ,i feel myself more fit to sit at their feet and be taught2 but ,o ,thou1 who usedst clay to open the eyes of the blind1 use me for ,thy glory4--,some keen things uttered by a relative have wounded me to the quick4 ,i feel innocent1 yet1 ,lord1 how little ,i can hear6 ,give me the love that hopeth all things1 endureth all things1 which rejoiceth not in iniquity1 but rejoiceth in the truth4--,kirkby4 ,i am reading ,fletcher's ,life4 ,how it excites holy desire6 ,my earnest aspiration is after perfect love4 ,when shall it once be8 ,come1 ,lord ,jesus1 come quickly4--,we went to ,ribstone to see ,mrs4 ,r4 but did not pray at the close of the visit2 my mind was wounded on this account4 ,the ,lord pardon all my offences4--,cousin and ,i found it good to pour out our souls before ,god1 alone4 ,at first my mind felt hard2 but by and by1 the veil was drawn aside1 and ,i enjoyed a sweet manifestation of the ,lord2--a settled peace but no overflowing joy4 ,my earnest wish is to be quite clear1 for ,i am more than ever convinced of the reality of the blessing4 ,the cleansing power of ,god puts us in a capacity to 'grow in grace1' and live to the glory of ,god4--,we walked to ,barrowby1 and took tea with ,miss ,h4 ,she is a friendly girl1 possessing the advantage of a polite education1 but wants the main accomplishment--vital godliness3 she wept while ,i talked with her4 ,o that it may not pass away as the morning cloud6 ,on our return we had a blessed meeting with our ,god4 ,i felt the power to cast myself by faith upon the ,lord2 but still do not perceive the direct witness of the cleansing blood3 am resolved not to give up the point until ,i obtain my suit4--,i left ,kirkby1--a place so congenial to my inclinations1 secluded from scenes of noise and excitement1--and had a pleasant journey home1 where ,i found all well4 ,praise ,god4--,returning from the ,lord's house1 a beautiful rainbow attracted my attention1 and preached a second sermon to me2 putting me in mind of the covenant which the ,lord had made with ,his people4--,i am aiming to keep the prize in view4 ,i see lengths and breadths before me2 and my heart1 thank ,god1 is bent to pursue that which to me is most desirable1 viz41 holiness4 ,but ,i need stronger faith to enter in by the blood of ,jesus4 ,union with ,him is sweet4 ,this makes one thirst for more4 ,many temptations assault me1 but the reading of ,fletcher's ,polemical ,essay on ,christian ,perfection has been of advantage to me4 ,i am learning the method of bringing to ,god those evils and besetments1 which seem to be the main hindrances to my progress4 ,i have much cause of humiliation before the ,lord1 and wish to attain that sweet spirit of abasement1 which not only confesses its unworthiness1 but feels willing1 that others should be preferred before me4 ,i have need of vigilance2 my enemy is ready to seize upon the least advantage4 ,to ,thee1 ,o ,god1 my soul looks up4--,a dream1 ,i had this week1 powerfully impressed me with the necessity of being faithful with our relatives1 and of living near to ,god ourselves4 ,private prayer has been profitable1 but do not know that ,i was ever so much beset with peculiar temptation4 ,since ,i have become acquainted with the devices of the enemy1 have found another errand to the ,lord4--,spent the forenoon with some of the friends of ,god1 and the poor4 ,on attending one of the women's prayer-meetings1 find my name1 has been omitted1 but believe it is for the best4 ',make me little and unknown1 ,prized and loved by ,god alone4' ,last night ,i was troubled in my sleep1 but it was sweetly suggested2 ',god is our refuge--a very present help in trouble4' ,glory be to ,god for ,his promises2 may ,i hang upon them more firmly than ever4 ,to-day my soul has been drawn after ,god2 but when shall ,i be able to say with ,mr4 ,wesley1 ',now ,i have lived a day4'--,find patience a grace4 ,i especially need1 both with respect to myself1 my children1 my domestics1 and the world4 ,had not the sacred ,scriptures declared 'ye have need of patience1' ,i should be more ready to reason with the enemy than ,i am4 ,but the word of ,god is a strong tower against the assaults of the devil2 here the righteous find a refuge and a hiding-place4--,what a poor unprofitable creature ,i am6 ,lord1 ,i cast myself upon ,thee4 ,save a helpless soul1 that feels no merit but in ,jesu's atoning blood4 #ahba4 ,am ashamed to acknowledge ,i have felt a little impatience1 because my hands through stiffness1 occasioned by cramp1 have refused to perform their ordinary duty4 ,forgive me1 ,o my ,god2 nor ever let me repine at any of ,thy dispensations to a worm1 loaded with benefits as ,i am4 ,i seem a poor piece of useless lumber1 but ,thou bearest with me4 ,let me ever live to ,thee4--,although ,i usually sleep well1 last night ,i lay awake for some time1 but my meditations were sweet2 they turned upon ,peter's advice to those who had received like precious faith1 viz42 ',add to your faith virtue1 and to virtue knowledge1 and to knowledge temperance1 and to temperance ,,patience1' c4 ,i have felt its influence to-day4 ,praise the ,lord for so divine an admonition2 my soul needs it4--,the debt of gratitude ,i owe to ,thee1 ',o ,thou ,preserver of men1' ,i feel glad to acknowledge1 though ,i am unable to pay4 ,glory be unto ,thee for ,thy renewed mercy to a worm4 ,help me to repeat my vows to ,thee1 who hast graciously protracted my life1 and through another seeming death delivered me4 ,let the babe1 thy love has given me1 be unreservedly dedicated to ,thyself4 ,but oh6 how shall ,i tell of ,thy unbounded love to a worthless creature6 ,my soul longs to be wholly ,thine4 ,help my feebleness2 let me turn neither to the right hand nor the left1 but teach me all ,thy will4--,i am blessed with health1 surrounded by friends1 and encompassed by mercies4 ,how infinitely poor is my gratitude to the ,lord1 when all these are considered6 ,how is it1 ,lord1 that my affection for ,thee is so cold1 and my faith in ,thy infallibility so weak8 ,quicken me1 animate my drooping powers1 and let me every moment live in ,thee4--,i have the witness within me1 but daily feel my own weakness4 ,all my good comes from heaven1 and requires constant renewal4 ,i have faith in ,god1 but thirst for more4 ,i want to be deluged with the love of ,god4--,a trivial circumstance has been a source of mental exercise2 but thank ,god1 have had power to keep my tongue4 ,let the issues of my heart be kept by ,thee4 ,,on ,,the ,,death ,,of ,,napoleon ,,buonaparte1 ,,may #e,,th1 #ahba4 ,he falls6 ,napoleon ,buonaparte is gone3 ,who conquered thousands1 conquered now by one3 ,his strength diminished1 and his glory fled2 ,his kingdom taken1 and his honour dead4 ,though clad in warlike state1--without command2 ,a captive buried in a foreign land3 ,oh6 might we hope the captive now is free1 ,escaped from bondage into liberty4 ,in private ,i have been greatly blessed2 but1 oh6 the sense of ignorance ,i feel makes me ashamed3 yet ,i know not that ,i ever felt a deeper thirst for all that ,god can give4 ,come1 ,lord1 and diffuse ,thy presence through my soul4 ,i have been reading ,bramwell's ,memoir2 how desirable his life6 ,how enviable his death6 ,help me1 ,lord1 to follow after1 and to walk in close communion with ,thee2 that ,i may apprehend that1 for which ,i am apprehended in ,christ ,jesus4--,at4 ,st ,michael's ,church the ,rev4 ,john ,graham improved the death of the ,rev4 ,william ,richardson1 who for half a century has laboured in ,york1 and been much esteemed on account of his ministerial usefulness4 ,he gave a concise account of ,mr4 ,r4's literary and spiritual attainments4 ,his ,christian character was excellent4 ,his chief joy was in ,christ crucified2 and his constant prayer1 that he might not live longer than he could be useful4 ,his labours continued up to his last illness1 which lasted only a week1 and his last words were1 ',my pleasures are to come4' ,thus died this eminent minister of ,jesus ,christ1 aged #gf4 ,to me it was a season of especial profit2 angels seemed hovering around4 ,,reflections4 ,returning seasons bid reflection wake1 ,and o'er the past a winding passage take3 ,ah6 what a scene of change arrests the mind1 ,within the compass of five months behind6 ,in many a home is hushed the voice of mirth1 ,and sorrow1 as a flood1 o'erflows the earth4 ,here one1 by sad misfortune followed fast1 ,in hopeless indigence is plunged at last4 ,another1 by disaster thrown aside1 ,has got a crippled limb to prop his side4 ,there1 death has made a breach1 and left forlorn ,the widowed mother1 and the babe unborn4 ,here1 weeps the father o'er his orphan child1 ,who thinks it strange1 for formerly he smiled3 ,oh6 who can tell the sorrows of his breast8 ',tis sad experience must reveal the rest4 ,a few days since1 a mournful crowd appeared1 ,in sable garb1 and to the church repaired2 ,ask you the reason of their measured pace1 ,why silent all1 and tears on every face4 ,alas6 the ,pastor's dead1 who1 fifty years1 ,the ,gospel tidings sounded in their ears3-- ,a man of ,god1 endued with purpose strong1 ,who lived the truth he taught1 and hated wrong1 ,full thirty years1 the schools enjoyed his care2 ,the sick1 the poor1 the ,missions claimed a share4 ,but now1 we hear his friendly voice no more2 ,his course is finished1 and the fight is o'er4 ,come1 hear the accents of his flying lips1 ,my pleasures are to come2--the curtain slips1 ,and hides what follows from our curious eyes3 ,enough6 he joins the chorus of the skies4 ,another scene1 and melancholy too2 ,the bridegroom widowed1 ere he pleasure knew2 ,his hopes of bliss had soared unduly high1 ,and little dreamt he there was danger nigh2 ,but see6 the throes of death his bride arrest1 ,the barbed arrow strikes her beating breast3 ,his hands have touched the cup1 but ere he sips1 ,the wine is hurried from his burning lips4 ,such are the sorrows which around ,i find1 ,diverse1 and manifold as human kind4 ,let these suffice my gratitude to fire1 ,and with unfeigned praise my tongue inspire4 ,that ,i1 so undeserving1 still possess ,unnumber'd mercies1 through redeeming grace4 ,let each vicissitude my soul prepare1 ,by patience here1 for endless glory there2 ,where sickness ceases1 and where sorrows end1 ,where no misfortune can the bliss suspend2 ,where death is banished1 for the curse is o'er1 ,and love unrivall'd reigns for evermore4 ,i have greater pleasure in visiting the sick1 and the poor1 than in visiting those who1 as far as this world is concerned1 are better circumstanced2 in the former case1 my object is simply to do or get good1 but in the latter1 ,i find it is in danger of being mixed with other motives4 ,christ is the end as well as the source of my happiness4 ,oh6 to be saved in every word and thought1 this is what my soul covets4 ,i feel ,i am getting firmer hold of ,christ4--,i have been tempted to a spirit of fretfulness and ill-nature2 praise the ,lord for the victory4 ,i was enabled to come to him for help1 and power2 and by ejaculatory prayer1 found sweet access to the ,throne4 ,i can say it is my chief study to live to please ,god1 and to obtain a complete victory over myself1 which ,i find is no small conquest4--,the prospect of my children's return from school has supplied me with another subject of prayer4 ,i have asked for patience1 perseverance1 and firmness to guide them aright4 ,by simply coming to the ,lord1 ,i obtain help2 and am sure1 that while ,i continue to act faith in ,his power1 ,i shall be helped4 ,then help ,thy servant evermore to trust in ,thee4--,had purposed going to the ,prayer-meeting1 but was prevented2 ,i believe ,providence guided me1 and appointed me another work4 ,in talking to my family at home1 ,i felt great liberty2 the ,lord loosened my tongue4 ,oh6 that the seed may spring up1 and bear fruit4 ,i endeavour to pour out all my grievances before the ,lord4 ,i know that ,he hears my prayer1 and am resolved to tell ,him the worst of myself1 as far as ,his grace enables me to discover it4 ,i am decidedly resolved to be the ,lord's1 for ,i can obtain solid happiness from no other source2 but the name of ,jesus is a cordial to my soul4 ,more faith1 and more love1 is all ,i want4--,how frail ,i am6 ,conversing with a friend as ,i returned from the house of ,god1 ,i uttered an unnecessary word1 and immediately felt that ,i had grieved the ,spirit of ,god4 ,as soon as an opportunity of retiring presented itself1 ,i poured out my soul before the ,lord1 ashamed that ,i should so often offend ,him1 whom ,i desire to love and obey above all things4--,in my class ,i professed the enjoyment of the sanctifying influences of the ,holy ,spirit2 and1 blessed be ,god1 though ,i hold the blessing feebly1 ,i do hold it2 but the cry of my soul is1 fill me with all the life of ,god4 ,the following lines1 written after reading a piece in favour of snuff and tobacco1 will be edifying to smokers4 ,while some prefer the quid1 and some the smell2 ,there are who think that smoke doth both excel1 ,i smile to see these votaries so misled1 ,and think their several tastes are idly bred4 ,perchance one1 here and there1 may virtue find1 ,in 'bacco' fumes1 when much perplexed with wind4 ,but sure1 the human frame1 frail as it is1 ,is not so subject to the qualms as this2 ,three times a day to need the burning herb1 ,to cure the evils which so much disturb4 ',tis since the fall1 an idol demon tries1 ,by sophisms deep1 to close the wise man's eyes4 ,while musing on the sacred word1 they plead ,the blessing of the mind composing weed2 ,thus join their idol with ,divinity1 ,whose mandate is1 ,no other ,god but ,me4 ,but hear them plead their failing cause again2 ,it recreates the powers to work amain1 ,dispels the phlegm1 which on the stomach lay1 ,and fits us for the labours of the day4 ,but will not prayer1 and reading recreate1 ,much more than smoking thus in idle state8 ,and exercise effect more lasting good1 ,if they complain of undigested food ,i ,o be resolved1 ye smoking sinners1 do ,forsake your idol1 and your ,god pursue3 ,deny yourselves1 and nobly bear the cross1 ,esteeming all for ,christ but dung and dross4 ,at the ,prayer-meeting ,mr4 ,spence gave a short address on the subject of entire sanctification3 my faith was so much encouraged1 ,i could scarcely refrain from speaking aloud2 and while on my knees ,i exclaimed1 many times1 before the ,lord1 ',i will believe' ,on my way home the words were applied1 ',now ye are clean through the word which ,i have spoken unto you'--,at the ,acomb lovefeast1 ,i confessed that ,i could now give ,god all my heart4 ,i did not feel any doubt in so doing1 although the enemy suggested1 'you are deceived' ,lord1 if ,i am deceived1 speak for ,thyself2 for ,i am determined to be ,thine4 ,here1 in ,thy presence1 ,i humbly beseech ,thee to set the seal upon ,thy own work4 ,i dare believe4 ,let the transaction be ratified in heaven4 ,i am set apart for ,thee4 ,newton4 ,having a little time to wait for the coach1 ,i sauntered into the churchyard4 ,the solemnity of the place suggested the following lines1 while ,i stood and pondered4 ,still solitary place6 ,here silence reigns2 ,here griefs are hushed2 none ever here complains4 ,here no ambition agitates mankind1 ,within the limits of a vault confined1 ,around the whisp'ring breeze1 impressive1 steals1 ,and on my listening soul instruction seals4 ,the solemn truth sinks deep within my breast2 ,i1 mortal now1 immortal soon1 shall rest4 ,ended my journey1 with its hopes and fears1 ,my deep solicitudes1 and silent tears4 ,under some neighbouring sod1 my bones will lie1 ,and wait the summons from the flaming sky3 ,when ocean1 trembling in its briny bed1 ,and earth1 upheaving1 shall restore her dead4 ,roused by the voice1 that heaven and earth shall shake1 ,at that momentous period1 ,i must wake1 ,among my fellow clay unknown before1-- ,must wake with horror1 or with joy adore4 ,oh1 wondrous scene6 most awful6 most august6 ,th' event is certain1 and the purpose just4 ,the ,judge's eye will pierce the inmost soul1 ,each hidden record of the past unroll2 ,no word1 no motive1 no minuter thought ,escape exposure1 into judgment brought4 ,oh6 that these solemn truths1 with equal force1 ,might rule my soul1 throughout its earthly course2 ,that every scene1 and every hour1 may give ,true witness then1 to ,god alone ,i live6 ,so with the saints in glory shall ,i rise1 ,to hear the welcome plaudit from the skies1 ,well done4 ,unbounded love6 no tongue can tell ,what transports then my ravished heart shall swell4 ,a worm6 an atom6 less than nothing ,i6 ,by love redeemed from death1 and raised on high4 ,wrote a few lines to ,miss ,b4 concerning her soul's welfare4 ,she is very obliging1 but destitute of the 'one thing needful4'--,called upon ,mrs4 ,farrar--we prayed together4 ,how much happier should we live if the time1 so often wasted in chit-chat1 were occupied in prayer4 ,help me1 ,o ,god1 against this soul-robbing evil4 ,i found it profitable4--,the ,lord is teaching me the happy lesson of telling all my heart to ,him4 ,with respect to domestic grievances1 ,i do not feel them to be so great a burden as formerly4 ,my conscience feels tender1 and though not always equally happy1 ,i find prayer sweet1 and the ,bible my delightful study4 ,this is ,thy doing1 to ,thee be all the praise4--,passing a person1 who was standing at his own door1 ,i felt prompted to speak to him about his soul4 ,i turned back1 and did so1 inviting him to go to the ,chapel3 but1 alas6 ,i seemed as one that told an idle tale4--,i took tea with ,mr4 ,t4 ,while he was at prayer1 my soul was so lifted up1 ,i could scarcely help expressing my feelings aloud4 ,what a heaven1 is the enjoyment of ,god6 ,prayer is the life of my soul1 and the delight of my heart2 yet ,i have to mourn over my weakness in consenting to conversation1 which some may think very proper2 but which does not tend to edification4 ,i want to do all for eternity4--,we received a turkey and a basket of fruit from a friend4 ,i note this1 as it would appear1 the ,lord is resolved1 we shall lose nothing by entertaining his servants2--a preacher with his wife and three children1 strangers to us1 having come1 as they had no other place of refuge1 to stay with us till ,monday4 ',be not forgetful to entertain strangers1 for some have entertained angels unawares4'--,a very stormy day2 but where ,thy presence is how delightfully calm4 ,the ,lord does not leave me notwithstanding all my failings4 ,i am nothing2 ,i can do nothing2 yet1 thank ,god1 ,he has turned the bent of my heart to his testimonies1 and it is the delight of my soul to obey ,him4--,on my return from the ,lord's house1 ,i dedicated myself afresh to ,god2 fully surrendering my soul and body1 my time and talents1 to ,his service4 ,praised be ,his name1 ,he ratifies the surrender 'on the mean altar of my heart4' ,i feel the inward witness1 ',ye are clean through the word which ,i have spoken unto you4' ,o ,god1 ,i accept ,thee as my ,sanctifier1 my ,sovereign1 to govern and direct4--,i have many mercies to record1 among which health is not the least2 but of higher value than that1 are the favour and the peace of ,god4 ,lately ,i have experienced solid happiness in ,christ1 sweet access to the throne1 and delight in the ways of ,god4 ,in visiting the poor1 and also in acting in the capacity of prayer-leader1 ,i have had some doubts whether ,i was in the path of duty4 ,i laid the matter before ,god1 willing to work for ,him1 or to be laid aside for ,him4 ,on opening my bible1 just before ,i retired to rest1 my attention was arrested by these words1 ',they shall not labour in vain1 nor bring forth for trouble2 for they are the seed of the blessed of the ,lord1 and their offspring with them4 ,and it shall come to pass1 that before they call1 ,i will answer2 and whiles they are yet speaking1 ,i will hear4' ,blessed promises6 ,they appeared very applicable4--,by the midnight mail1 my husband was unexpectedly called from home1 on very precarious business4 ,may he be preserved from everything injurious to his soul1 however unfavourable to his health4 ,a day of much excitement1 scarcely time for reflection2 but in private it was sweet to pour out my soul before ,god4 ,i am desirous to know how my husband proceeds with the business he has in hand4 ,to know that the ,lord keeps him1 and gives him health1 would be a cause of thanksgiving4 ,he is in ,thy hands1 ,thou ,preserver of men1 save him fully4 ,for some weeks past1 ,i have been reckoning myself 'dead indeed unto sin2' but the last few days my children have been very noisy2 ,i have thus been under the necessity of speaking loud1 and sometimes felt a little hasty in reproving them4 ,this has awakened doubts of the reality of my experience4 ,unfold to me1 ,o ,lord1 ,thy truth1 for to the test of ,thy word1 would ,i subject my life and practice4 ,,vii4 ,,temple ,,service4 ,,holiness ,,becometh ,,thine ,,house1 ,o ,,lord1 ,,for ,,ever4--,ps1 xciii4 #e4 ,be ye clean that bear the vessels of the ,lord4 ,the command applied not only to the priest1 who served at the altar1 but to the ,levite1 to whom the charge of the sacred vessels was especially committed4 ,the inference is1 that the humblest officer in the ,church of ,christ ought to possess1 above every other1 this essential qualification1 holiness4 ,purity is the secret of the ,church's power4 ,wealth1 talent1 learning1 honour1 are but instruments1 which she can use2 but this is her life1 because it is the breath of the ,spirit of ,god1 giving vitality to her members1 and energy to her action4 ,god can use the weak things1 and the foolish1 and things that are despised1 yea1 and things that are not2 but he cannot use the things that are unclean1 unless it be for purposes of shame and dishonour4 ,when will the ,church learn this lesson8 ,and when will she adopt the divine standard of judgment1 and estimate men according to their resemblance to ,christ8 ,so soon as she shakes herself from the dust1 she shall go forth in the majesty of her strength1 and become the admiration of the earth4 ,mrs4 ,lyth aimed at purity4 ,she had passed the region of shadows1 and entered the unclouded light of the ,divine presence2 but that very light1 by its intensity1 only revealed more distinctly the sinfulness of her nature2 and created an absorbing desire after perfect holiness3 she was thus prepared by ,god for the service of ,his temple4 #ahbb4--;,in our private band-meeting1 ,mrs4 ,w4 mentioned a singular circumstance4 ,being restless during the night1 and troubled with wandering of thought1 she entreated the ,lord to impress upon her mind that which might be profitable4 ,she fell asleep1 and in a little time awoke with the words1 ',the ,lord gave1 and the ,lord hath taken away2 blessed be the name of the ,lord4' ,sleeping a second time1 she awoke1 with ',precious in the sight of the ,lord1 is the death of his saints4' ,a third time she slept1 and the words1 suggested on awaking1 were ',blessed are the dead which die in the ,lord from henceforth3 yea1 saith the ,spirit1 for they rest from their labours1 and their works do follow them4' ,a fourth time she awoke1 and the passage presented to her mind was1 ',the end of all things is at hand2 be ye therefore sober and watch unto prayer4'--,my soul is especially excited to prayer4 ,in myself ,i see no good thing1 but many imperfections1 and much weakness2 yet ,i hang upon the ,lord ,jesus1 and thirst for a deeper baptism of the ,spirit4 ,a few lines from ,cousin ,e4 inform me1 that dear ,ann1 given up by her medical attendants1 is rejoicing in the prospect of eternal glory4 ,praise the ,lord4 ,though separation is painful1 we cannot but rejoice in the blessed anticipation of seeing each other again4 ,it only remains for me to be faithful4--,my patience has been exercised by one of my children4 ,i scarcely know how to act1 so as neither to be too indulgent1 nor too severe4 ,o ,thou1 who hast promised1 that crooked things shall be made straight1 and the rough1 places plain1 give ear to my supplication1 and in this matter point out the path of duty1 that at the last1 ,i may present my whole family and say1 ',none that ,thou gavest me are lost4'--,while engaged in prayer1 my soul was blessed in such a manner1 that for some time ,i could say nothing but ,glory1 ,glory4 ,surely this was a foretaste of the bliss1 which shall never end4--,a letter informed me that cousin ,ann wished to see me2 so on the following morning1 putting myself under the protection of ,god1 who kindly took care of me1 ,i left home4 ,while travelling the spirit of prayer on behalf of those1 whom ,i had left behind1 was sweetly poured upon me4 ,i found my dear cousin suffering from great debility2 but living by faith on the ,son of ,god4 ,a sweet smile played upon her face1 like the soft radiance of the setting sun4 ,grace shone in every feature of her faded1 but still lovely countenance4 ,she tells me1 it is twelve years next ,october1 since the ,lord spoke peace to her soul4 ,we were kneeling in company with her sister1 and the servant1 by her bedside4 ,i was engaged in prayer at the time1 and for this reason she wished particularly to see me4 ,surely this is the mark whereby the world knoweth us1 'because we love one another4'--,as ,i was distributing tracts1 my heart was pained within me to see how many were employed on the ,sabbath morn2 and on my return1 ,i wept to think that1 in the face of day1 they could break a well-known command of ,god4 ,lord1 open their eyes that they may see4 ,the spirit of my ,ann has taken its flight to the paradise of ,god1 leaving many sorrowing friends4 ,our loss is her gain2 but nature feels4--,in company with ,mrs4 ,r4 ,i collected for the ,missions4 ,we were wearied2 but when ,i recollect1 how much more wearisome the work of the ,missionary1 cheerfully will ,i undertake this labour of love2 with a view to alleviate their toil1 and facilitate their success4 ,i proposed to ,mrs4 ,w4 and ,mrs4 ,r4 to meet me at the throne of grace1 every morning the following week1 to pray for the outpouring of the ,holy ,spirit3 we all agreed4 ,the appointed hour has been blessed to me2 ,i have dwelt under the shadow of the ,almighty1 and felt such a resignation to the will of ,god1 as ,i never felt before4--,i was providentially led to see ,miss ,b4 ,in our younger days we were companions2 but in the course of time we have become estranged4 ,she is now on the bed of affliction1 and wept while mother and ,i prayed4 ,she requested me to go again2 if ,i can be useful to her1 ,o ,lord1 open the way1 and speak by me4 --,i went to see a man walk upon the river1 which occasioned the following lines3-- ,i saw the man1 with wondrous skill4 ,walk on the yielding stream at will1 ,sustained by human art3 ,not so did ,peter1 when to ,thee ,he stepped upon the rolling sea2 ,faith did the power impart4 ,so while on life's tempestuous wave1 ,with timid steps ,i walk2 ,o6 save1 ,reach out ,thy hand to me3 ,my courage swells1 while ,thou art near1 ,nor foe nor accident ,i fear1 ,though wild the billows be4 ,but safely on through peril glide1 ,supported on the dangerous tide1 ,by looking unto ,thee3 ,impossibilities shall yield1 ,and faith a solid pathway build4 ,across the stormy sea4 ,i have had some family exercises2--scarce worth a thought1 if ,i had more of the mind of ,christ2 yet ,i have been able to tell my care to ,god1 and at his footstool1 ,i have got rid of my burden4 ,i enjoy the soul's calm sunshine4--,when ,i consider how time slips away1 and how little ,i effect for my own improvement1 and that of others1 ,i am ashamed4 ,my life appears so blotted1 ,i can only say1 ',god be merciful to me a sinner2' but praise ,god1 ,i can rely with greater confidence than formerly upon his promises4 ,i know ,i am his child1 and my happiness is in doing the will of my ,father4--,mrs4 ,taft is with us4 ,o that the disappointment she has met with1 7the refusal of the chapel17 may turn out rather to the furtherance of the ,gospel1 and more especially for the benefit of my family4--,i understand she spoke in the school-room with energy and power2 and at the prayer-meeting which followed1 my ,eliza was restored to the favour of ,god4 ,thus the ,lord out of seeming evil has brought good to my child4--,the one thing is daily the object of my desires and efforts4 ,i want more clearly to exhibit the fruits of righteousness in my ordinary conversation4 ,being naturally of a hasty temperament1 ,i need constantly to be baptized with the meek1 and lowly spirit of ,jesus4 ,grant me1 ,o ,lord1 my heart's desire4 ,i do feel ,thy sanctifying presence1 but ,o how ,i long for more4--,the ,lord is working amongst the children4 ,my ,richard1 at the new ,school vestry1 felt the drawings of the ,spirit2 and ,william1 ,i am told1 cried out aloud4 ,o that these early impressions may come to maturity4 ,my soul1 praise the ,lord for these beginnings4 ,how shall ,i best foster these tender plants3 ,lord1 teach me to cherish the good1 and to correct the errors of youthful feeling4 ,my father and mother have entered the house we have built for them adjoining our own4 ,we had a prayer-meeting on the occasion1 which was a blessed season to my soul4 #ahbc4--;,for the last time1 ,i visited ,jane ,s4 ,she was scarcely recollected2 but after a little time she requested me to pray4 ,she seemed very much in earnest4 ,i endeavoured to point her to ,jesus4 ,for a moment she revived2 but in the night she died4 ,so in one short week1 two are gone out of my husband's class4--,this morning ,i felt great power in prayer1 and an ardent desire for full deliverance from every besetment4 ,in this spirit ,i entered into my family1 resolving to watch with all diligence2 but alas6 imperfection is stamped upon all ,i do1--so many wanderings1 useless words1 and deviations from the perfect law of ,god1 that1 were it not for the blood of ,jesus1 all hope of heaven would be excluded4 ,yet in private ,i had sweet communion with ,god4 ,i have derived profit from the perusal of ,lady ,maxwell's ,journal4 ,some points of her experience correspond with my own3 this encourages me4 ,nothing seems so desirable1 nothing so amiable1 as momentary living to ,god4--,mr4 ,mc,kitrick brought me ,mrs4 ,king's class-paper1 requesting me to take charge of the class until she recovered4 ,i durst not refuse it1 although ,i felt my inability very great4 ,my mental struggles since have been many4 ,it is suggested ,i am influenced by pride2 that ,i imagine ,i can do better than another2 only by casting myself upon ,god1 and resolving to leave myself in ,his hands1 ,i find help4 ,o that ,i were satisfied1 ,i am called to this work6 ,by any means discover this to me1 and fit me by ,thy grace2 then gladly will ,i be spent for ,thee1 who gavest ,thyself an offering for me4--,i went in much fear to meet ,mrs4 ,k's little flock1 among whom ,i felt liberty2 but afterward1 my uneasy state of mind returned4 ,o ,god1 since all things are possible to ,thee1 subdue my heart2 let all within and all without submit to ,thy sovereign sway4 ,one of the members requested me to read the last chapter of the first ,epistle of ,peter1 which ,i have done several times1 and found it sweet4 ,as ,mrs4 ,k4 never recovered1 and indeed died shortly after1 ,mrs4 ,lyth's appointment to the office of leader was confirmed2 an arrangement1 which1 notwithstanding her deep sense of her own insufficiency1 met with the cordial approbation of the class4 ,one of the oldest members1 who was present on the occasion of her first meeting them1 says1 ,i well recollect1 with what profound humility1 and with what fear and trembling1 she undertook the office of class-leader4 ,while she was confessing to us1 that she felt utterly unworthy1 and unfit for such a responsibility1 my heart rejoiced1 that we were privileged with the appointment of one1 possessed of so many excellencies4 ,she said1 if the ,lord had anything for her to do1 she durst not refuse2 that ,he had often employed very weak instruments to carry on ,his work2 and added1 ,oh6 that ,he may use me for ,his glory6 ,friends1 you must pray that the ,lord may give me a double portion of ,his spirit1 for ,i feel my own helplessness4 ,then1 on her knees1 she poured out her soul to ,god with great earnestness1 that ,he would fully qualify her for the work which had been imposed upon her4 ,her own conviction of duty was however not so easily attained1 and several entries occur like the following3-- ,i again met ,mrs4 ,k's class1 and found it very profitable to my own soul3 yet ,i am not quite satisfied ,i am right4 ,o make it fully known1 and1 if this is the path of duty1 crown my feeble efforts4--,none but the true ,christian knows the sweets of communion with the ,father1 and the ,son1 through the blessed ,spirit4 ',them that honour me ,i will honour1 came sweetly to my mind yesterday2 by which ,i was led to see1 if ,i faithfully walk in ,his commandments1 ,he will honour me with ,his presence1 and clothe me with ,his free ,spirit4 ,while pouring out my soul in secret1 the nearness ,i felt to ,jesus is better felt than expressed2--unusual power to give my all to ,him without any reserve1 as far as ,i can judge of myself4 ,is this the work of entire sanctification8 ,set to ,thy seal1 ,o my ,god1 let the enemy no more rob me of this jewel2 but bear directly to my heart1 the witness of ,thy love4--,i have had many visits from above1 but not without interruptions4 ,the use of more words than necessary has1 on reflection1 occasioned feelings of pain4 ,oh6 when will all my powers be brought into captivity to the obedience of ,christ4--,my wedding day6 ,seventeen years ,i have worn the silken-chain2 during the last1 ,i have enjoyed more of the life and power of ,god1 and now the sacred flame burns brightly on my heart4 ,with respect to my marriage1 ,i believe it was solemnized in the fear of ,god2 and an increasing union exists between me and my dear companion4 ,we have many a blessed interview with ,god1 when shut in from all beside4 ,oh the goodness of ,god to me6 ,his mercies have far exceeded my trials1 and even out of my several sorrows ,he has brought my greatest blessings4--,at ,mrs4 ,k4's class the ,lord graciously sustained me with ,his presence2 my doubts respecting this work seem now to disperse1 and unless ,i am deceiving myself1 ,i am in the way of providence4 ,i inquired of one of the friends1 if any time was fixed to pray for the revival of the work of ,god1 and am told1 every ,friday--fasting2 hours of prayer2 six1 nine1 and twelve in the morning1 and three and six in the afternoon4 ,by the help of ,god1 ,i am resolved to join them4 ,the ,lord is blessedly with1 me this evening4 ,,to ,,my ,,honoured ,,father ,,entering ,,on ,,his ,,eighty-,,eighth ,,year4 ,bending with the weight of years1 ,see the hoary headed saint1 ,rise above tormenting fears2 ,suffer1 but without complaint1 ,ready1 as a shock of corn1 ,for the ,paradise above2 ,golden fruits his age adorn1-- ,fruits of holiness1 and love4 ,though the outward man decay1 ,inward strength is daily given2 ,nothing can his soul dismay1 ,succoured by the ,god of heaven4 ,he1 the wise man's laurel1 wears2 ,in the path of wisdom found1 ,lo6 his hoary head appears ,with unearthly glory crowned4 ,borne on time's untiring wing1 ,homeward fast his spirit flies2 ,now the city of the ,king1 ,flames upon his longing eyes4 ,brighter1 as the clouds recede1 ,blaze its walls of spotless white2 ,deeper1 from the throne proceed1 ,dazzling floods of purer light4 ,every birthday1 nearer hies ,that unknown but welcome hour2 ,when the saint in triumph cries1 ,i1 through ,christ1 am conqueror4 ,i went1 by request1 to visit a person who has long been confined to her bed4 ,she knows something of ,god2 but ah6 how slight is the knowledge of even1 professing ,christians6 ,after reading1 and conversing with her1 ,i proposed prayer2 but the master of the house sat still4 ,when we arose from our knees1 ,i spoke freely and plainly to him of his sinful condition4 ,o my ,god1 if ,i was moved by ,thee1 fasten conviction upon his conscience4--,i accompanied ,mrs4 ,k4 to collect for the ,clothing ,society1 and while our benevolent friends bestowed upon us the mammon of unrighteousness1 the ,lord blessed me with the true riches4--,having taken a little cold1 ,i was dull of hearing1 and afraid that ,i should not be able to hear the members of my class in the evening4 ,i betook myself to prayer1 and the ,lord graciously heard1 and so far restored me1 that ,i had no difficulty4 ,my soul was like wax before the sun1 while ,jesus shone upon it4--,my mind has been reproved for reproving4 ,lord1 ,i thank ,thee for ,thy secret admonitions2 forgive1 and take all my powers under ,thy control4 ,i called to see ,mr4 ,spence2 his natural powers decline1 but heaven beams on his countenance4 ,he said1 while he was putting on his neckcloth1 in the morning1 he had been struck with the meagre and ghastly appearance he presented in the glass2 but the sweet serenity of his soul compelled him to exclaim1 ',welcome old man6 welcome declining age6 welcome death6'--,i spoke at the ,prayer ,leaders' lovefeast1 but the enemy troubled me much afterward3 however1 this much ,i will affirm--to the grace of ,god ,i owe my all4 ,i feel decided in my choice1 hate sin1 have the witness that ,i am a child of ,god1 and enjoy the comforts of the ,holy ,ghost2 but the clear evidence of entire sanctification ,i do not hold1 though ,i believe ,i have many times received it1 and for a short time held it2 but1 for want of boldly confessing the faith1 have lost the blessed pearl4 ,o for the baptismal flame4 ,in the summer of this year she visited the ,rev4 ,john ,nelson1 then stationed in ,sheffield1 to whom she was much attached4 ,as was her constant practice1 when released from the claims of domestic duty1 she availed herself of every opportunity of doing1 and getting good4 ,every day was a sabbath of religious privilege4 ,the church1 and the chapel1 the social party and the sick bed1 were made subservient to purposes of spiritual improvement4 ,with reference to a party of friends1 who were invited to meet her1 she says1 ',after tea the females being left alone1 each of us prayed2 this is a blessed way to cut off religious chit-chat4' ,quarterly ,fast4 ,mr4 ,haswell called upon me to pray1 when the ,lord was pleased to humble me2 for which ,i would be truly thankful4 ,make me willing any way1 only let my soul be brought into conformity with ,thy will2--willing to be little1 that ,thou alone mayest be exalted4 ,my nature is not willing to be thought little4 ,during the day ,i felt a humble dependance upon ,jesus4 ,,on ,,observing ,a ,,sign ,,in ,,sheffield ,,worded1 ,,bride ,,cakes ,,and ,,funeral ,,biscuits4 ,ah6 is the bridal-day1 ,when festive pleasures meet1 ,the presage1 but of swift decay1 ,within the winding sheet8 ,what then is man at best8 ,a blooming1--fading flower2 ,immortal1 in a mortal vest1 ,the creature of an hour4 ,well then may death be joined ,unto our festal days2 ,well may our pleasures limit find ,within so short a space4 ,to seek eternal bliss ,within time's narrow span1 ,is man's best int'rest2--only this ,can form the future man4 ,let dying mortals then ,their foolish dreams forsake2 ,unto their rest return again1 ,and ,christ their refuge make4 ,then1 even timid youth ,may smile upon the tomb2 ,and festive moments welcome truth1 ,though clad in robes of gloom4 ,by ,jesus' death1 is broke ,death's dark and powerful spell2 ,and1 while to ,him by faith we look1 ,we know that all is well4 ,while meeting the little company my soul was blest4 ,o for spiritual discernment and grace1 that ,i may be truly helpful to them1 and deal faithfully4 ,visited a dying person who says1 she dare not rest on ,jesus2--yet ,,he is a tower4 ,,on ,,the ,,death ,,of ,,pope ,,pius ,,xiii4 ,his ,holiness1 the ,pope1 ,hath yielded up his breath2 ,he1 who could sins forgive1 ,hath no command o'er death2 ,how wonderful6 such power to have1 ,and yet to sink into the grave6 ,if sin1 the sting of ,death1 ,his ,holiness could draw2 ,why render up ,his breath ,unto a conquered foe8 ,either1 he fallible must be1 ,or sin hath gained the victory4 ,i am thankful for the decision of character ,i feel4 ,my daily want is more of the love 'that conquers all1 and every mountain moves4'--,my private communings with ,god are my most precious seasons4 ,there ,i can tell all my wants1 unbosom all my griefs1 reveal all my secrets1 expose all my temptations1 and there the ,lord graciously condescends to visit me with fresh manifestations of ,his love and power4 ,these visits humble me1 and give me to see1 where my strength lies4 ,come1 ,lord1 and dwell in me1 that every moment ,i may have the witness that all ,i do is right4--,i called to see my dear afflicted friend ,w41 whose eldest daughter is slowly sinking into the tomb4 ,as it was the hour we usually meet in band1 we retired to pour out our souls before the ,lord4 ,my friend seemed willing to give up her daughter1 if only she could be assured1 that a divine change had taken place4 ,the ,lord gave us the ,spirit of prayer to plead on this account1 and glory be to ,god1 in that same hour1 ,he imparted peace to the dying child4--,the night was awfully tempestuous4 ,i rose twice to pour out my soul to ,him1 who rules the storm1 and found sweet calm within4--,after tea1 ,mr4 ,spence asked me1 why ,i had invited my friends4 ,i replied1 it was my desire1 that we should help each other to heaven4 ,a conversation on holiness of heart ensued1 which to me1 and ,i trust to all present1 was profitable4 ,this conversation will leave no painful reflection4 ,i avowed that ,i held1 though with a trembling hand1 the power to love ,god with all my heart1 and felt the sweet assurance at the time2 but the next morning when ,i awoke1 it was suggested1 ,i knew not what ,i had avowed4 ,the satisfactory evidence was for a moment withdrawn2 yet by faith ,i still resolved to hang upon the ,saviour4 ,i did not long remain in doubt1 my peace of mind returned2 and in the evening1 while engaged in prayer 7,eliza being with me71 the divine influence sweetly overwhelmed my soul1 and not mine only1 my ,eliza felt its power4 ,glory be to ,god4--,i took tea with ,mrs4 ,e41 the person with whom ,i lodged during my affliction4 ,a sense of gratitude for past mercies stirred my heart to praise2 and the time1 which might otherwise have been spent in conversation to no profit1 was spent in prayer4--,i daily need the sprinkled blood1 and the clear assurance of the perfect love which 'casteth out fear4' ,i dare not doubt that ,i possess1 in a measure1 its blessed fruits2 but ,i long to rise higher1 that no scruple may remain4 ,,viii4 ,,passing ,,clouds4 ,,can ,,any ,,understand ,,the ,,spreadings ,,of ,,the ,,clouds4--,job xxxvi4 #bi4 ,who can explain the involuntary emotions of human mind8 ,how strange1 that often1 on the eve of some great misfortune1 a sensible cloud should spread over the spirit2 but whence it comes1 or why1 we cannot tell6 ,to say it is a coincidence is only an acknowledgment of ignorance4 ,ought we not rather to refer it to the secret agency of the spirit-world by which we are surrounded2 but of which we know so little8 ,perhaps ,god would thus timely warn us to seek refuge under the shadow of his wing1 just as we seek shelter from the storm1 which the cloud1 that spreads itself upon the face of heaven1 tells us is at hand4 ,at least1 it cannot be without advantage1 when such monitions occur1 to betake ourselves to more earnest prayer2 then1 come what may1 we shall find a safe asylum in ,him1 to whom belongeth everlasting strength4--,one of the first entries of the year #ahbd1 is ,,the ,,cloud ,,will ,,soon ,,blow ,,over4 ,though far1 and wide above my head1 ,the dull portentous cloud is spread2 ,with many a dark and massive fold1 ,love decks it with a rim of gold4 ,the sun is shining still behind1 ,the promise of a purpose kind2 ,and1 soon unveiled again1 will dart ,his cheering rays upon my heart4 ,far brighter will ,his face appear1 ,than if no cloud had gathered near4 ,then1 till the cloud is overpast1 ,my anchor1 hope1 on ,god ,i'll cast2 ,assured while ,he is throned above1 ,the cloud is only sent in love4 ,about a fortnight after penning these lines1 her father1 whose continued life she had1 every spring1 hailed with a new song of gratitude1 was suddenly seized with a fit of paralysis1 which in a few days terminated his earthly career4 ,a premonitory attack had occurred in the preceding autumn1 which at the time affected his speech1 but on recovering a little1 he expressed his confidence in ,god in these remarkable words3 ,it is rolled up2 it is rolled up4 ,i am satisfied2 ,i am quite satisfied4 ,i am ready2 when the ,lord pleases1 ,i am ready4 ,the ,lord hath given me eternal life4 ,i know the ,lord2 ,i shall not perish4 ,i shall not perish1 for ,i am the ,lord's4 ,during the winter he had rallied again1 and resumed his labours in his ,master's cause4 ,hopes began to be entertained1 that he might yet be spared a little longer2 but these were suddenly cut off4 ,about the beginning of ,february he was seized again1 and it was soon apparent that this attack would prove fatal4 ,his last testimony to the truth was strong and clear1 and continued to be borne until the power of language failed4 ,to the ,rev4 ,w4 ,mc,kitrick1 who came to visit him shortly before his departure1 he said1 in almost the same words the amiable ,addison used to ,lord ,warwick1 ,you are come to see a ,christian1 die2 and then added1 ,glory be to the ,father1 and to the ,son1 and to the ,holy ,ghost4 ,i used to sing that in the ,church1 when ,i knew not what it meant2 but now ,i do4 ,not a shadow of a cloud rested upon the valley2 it was full of light3 and on the #bdth of the month he died1 in the full triumph of faith1 esteemed and lamented by persons of every shade of opinion4 ,this day in former years1 ,i have hailed my dear father's stay among us2 but now1 he has left our dark abode to join his friends above2 and this day1 his death is to be improved by ,mr4 ,hopkins ,new ,street1 and ,mr4 ,mc,kitrick1 in ,albion ,street ,chapel4 ,for some weeks ,i have been under the chastening hand of ,god4 ,my patience has been severely tested2 but ,i am thankful1 in the moments of severest trial1 ,i have felt confident that not a stroke would be laid upon me more than would conduce to my real good4 ,though the waves roll around me1 ,i can venture myself on ,jesus4 ,here ,i find firm footing2 here is my resting-place2 and in the precious atonement of the ,redeemer1 my soul enjoys sweet repose4--,i have been suffering from sickness1 but have had many precious moments while musing upon my bed4 ,through mercy1 ,i am again able to sit up1 but am very deaf4 ,this has occasioned a train of reasoning4 ,i have been led to inquire1 whether the ,lord in ,his providence intends to depose me from meeting ,his people4 ,but in this1 and in every thing else1 ,i would resignedly say1 ',thy will be done4'--,the mercy of the ,lord is again repeated4 ,the deafness1 from which ,i have suffered1 is greatly removed4 ,bless the ,lord1 who can not only make the deaf to hear1 but the heart to praise4--,my little ,anna1 after being lent to me for seventeen days1 and finding nothing on earth to court her stay1 has closed her eyes on time1 and opened them upon heaven4 ,so uncertain is earthly happiness4 ,perhaps my heavenly ,father1 more securely to engage my heart1 has kindly resumed the gift2 and transplanted to a better soil the flower1 whose charms were insensibly stealing my affections4 ,i anticipated the delightful task of rearing this tender plant to be a future comfort2 but ,thou1 ,o ,lord1 art righteous in all ,thy ways4 ,my feelings have been peculiarly acute1 but to ,thee1 ,o ,lord1 my heart is known4 ,teach me due submission to ,thy will2 and as1 by this bereavement1 ,i shall1 if restored to health1 have more leisure1 may ,i dedicate it to ,thee4--,while ,miss ,o4 was praying with me1 ,i had such a blessed view of the inhabitants of the world above1 that for a moment ,i seemed to be there4 ,at the ,class ,i was led to see the privilege of living by faith every moment4 ,since then1 ,i have been able to realize present blessings4 ,the perusal of one of ,mr4 ,fletcher's letters has been of service to me2 also the recollection of what my father used to say2 ',i ask in faith1 and bring the blessing away with me4' ,surely this is our ,christian birthright4 ,faith honours ,god1 and 'without faith it is impossible to please ,god4' ,thanks be unto ,thee1 ,i can now live by faith2 but ,i want to lose myself in ,thee1 ,thou vast unfathomable sea of love6 ,covered with imperfections1 ,i want to be plunged in the precious blood of ,jesus4 ,precious ,name6 ,precious blood6 the sweetest cordial of the soul4 ,i have had such a view of the way of faith as ,i cannot express2 so simple1 yet so divine6 ,such a sweet deliverance from doubt6 ,while ,i feel myself nothing1 ,i have power to apprehend ,god as my sanctifying ,saviour4 ,what has the world to compare with this8--,i rose before six to hold communion with my ,god4 ,art ,thou my ,god8 ,yes2 by that exalted name1 ,i feel ,thou art mine4 ,my soul longs for ,thee4 ,when shall ,i wake up after ,thy likeness8 ,i have this evening met the precious charge committed to my care4 ,the responsibility seems greater than ever4 ,o may ,i watch as one having to give account4 ,sinnington4 ,nature now resumes its beauty1 but the removal of my beloved ,ann1 and the absence of my dear ,elizabeth1 make a mighty chasm4 ,well2 soon these separations will cease1 and my freed spirit soar to mansions of unclouded bliss4 ,i have been tempted by the enemy2 but hold fast my confidence3 may the faith1 which purifies the heart1 sanctify my lips1 that ,i may tell of all ,thy wondrous love4--,i visited ,mrs4 ,b4 a second time2 she is encouraged to believe the ,lord will save her1 for ,christ's sake-without any merit of her own4 ,her husband was more cordial than ,i expected from the account ,i had heard of him2 the tears started in his eyes while ,i conversed with him4 ,i feel ,i am employed as ,i ought to be1 when in this way ,i render the least service to a fellow-creature2 but ,o how poor and feeble are my efforts6 ,since ,i came here my mind has been variously affected2 sometimes clear1 sometimes clouded2 sometimes in prayer ,i have experienced unusual liberty1 and again a degree of coldness2 but always a sense of the approbation of ,god1 with a desire to be entirely conformed to ,his will4--,part of the day was spent in bidding the friends farewell1 and in visiting some of the poor2 and now ,i have finished my visit to this place1 ,i can say1 ,i have been endeavouring to please ,god1 and in some measure1 benefit my fellow creatures2 but my performances have been so mixed1 that ,i am ashamed before the ,lord4 ,nothing but the blood of sprinkling can wash away my defilement4--,i went to the vestry after the evening service1 and selected a place1 where ,i thought ,i should not be observed2 but the thought of the curse of ,meroz1 constrained me to leave my retired position4 ,i resolved1 if any opportunity presented itself1 to engage in prayer2 and truly ,god poured upon me the spirit of grace and supplication4--,this week ,i have paid a social visit both to ,mrs4 ,r4 and ,mrs4 ,w4 ,praise the ,lord1 ,i came away uncondemned on account of anything ,i had said4 ,this has not always been the case4 ,i am thankful for the inward teaching of the ,spirit2 for the desire that every power of my body1 as well as every affection of my soul1 may be wholly consecrated to ,god4 ,this is now my prayer4--,i have been much affected to hear that an old man1 whom ,i had intended to visit1 died yesterday4 ,o ,god1 forgive the omission and help me to be faithful4 ,i took an opportunity of seeing ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,g41 to converse with them on the necessity of salvation3 let ,thy spirit work4 ,the ,lord has been showing me what a poor empty creature ,i am2 but gives me confidence in ,his promise4 ,i can cast myself entirely upon ,him1 who is willing to save me to the uttermost4 ,glory be to ,god1 my soul dares lay hold on ,jesus1 as my full1 and all-sufficient ,saviour4--,this morning ,i gave ,wm4 ,b4 an invitation to chapel2 called on ,m4,t4,s41 who is in trouble1 and advised him to read the #aabth ,psalm2 saw ,esther ,s41 who is fast declining1 but seems to desire nothing so much as union with ,god2 also visited ,j4,c41 who is sick1 but happy in ,god4--,the means of grace are refreshing1 but these are not the only occasions on which ,i get blessed4 ,no2 while my hands are engaged with my ordinary duties1 ,i can look up and call ,god ,father4--,my husband presented me with a new visiting book1 the old ones having been called in after the death of ,mr4 ,spence2 and the whole concern placed in the hands of a committee4 ,having formerly felt my insufficiency1 ,i have sought help at the throne of grace1 and entreated the ,lord1 as the committee have thought proper to send me a book1 that ,he would give me a word in season1 and ,his blessing with my efforts4--,the souls committed to me have been laid very near my heart4 ,conscious of my own weakness1 ,i asked the ,lord to put ,his word into my mouth1 and bring it to my remembrance2 and to ,his honour ,i here record it1 that ,i have never experienced greater liberty4--,in the prayer-meeting ,i was silent1 and felt condemned in consequence2 and on ,saturday night the conviction of duty was still deeper1 but still resisted1 ,how much ,i need forgiveness6 ,as the result1 barrenness came over my soul1 which continued part of the next day4 ,the recollection of having petitioned ,god to take my soul and body's powers1 and then to refuse to employ my tongue in ,his service1 although ,he had promised to put words into my mouth1 fills me with shame and humiliation4--,for some days ,i have been hanging on ,christ by naked faith1 without much sensible comfort2 yet have felt as fully resolved to live to the glory of ,god as when bathing in the beams of ,his love4 ,to-night the sacred fire burns brightly 'on the mean altar of my heart4'--,i have many mercies to be thankful for1 though not recounted here4 ,a moderate share of health is not the least2 my class increases1 my family is well2 ,i am surrounded with friends2 and above all1 ,i enjoy peace of mind4 ',what shall ,i render to the ,lord for all ,his benefits8' ,the rapid moments fleet away2 ,and on their tireless wings1 ,death rides1 majestic in his sway1 ,subjecting ,popes and ,kings4 #ahbe4--,my daughter being out to tea1 ,i called to take her to chapel2 but the solicitations of her friends had induced her to relinquish her intention3 so ,i left her4 ,but my mind was much pained2 the case of ,eli forcibly impressed my mind4 ,i think ,i too easily yielded to what my better judgment condemned4 ,i need the forbearance of my heavenly ,father1 and wisdom to direct my children aright4 ,i see great danger in mixing with the world1 and the company of outward professors is equally perilous4--,while ,mr4 ,stoner was describing the character of those1 who have received ,christ1 my soul responded to the truth3 ,i felt the reality of the change in my own heart4 ,the evidence of the sanctifying grace of ,god has of late been more distinct2 yet never have ,i been more deeply convinced of my own nothingness1 nor of the exceeding riches of the divine grace4--,this eventful month 7,february7 is this year ushered in by answers to prayer4 ,having a cold1 and being dull of hearing1 ,i entreated the ,lord1 if he had called me to meet his people1 to give me power to hear4 ,he graciously condescended to my request and blessed me among them4 ,four new converts stepped in4 ,o for wisdom to instruct them4--,i had a very pleasant visit at ,miss ,c4's4 ,mr4 ,stoner1 ,sammy ,hick1 and two or three female friends were there4 ,we got to know one another's hearts upon our knees1 and the ,lord lent an attentive ear4--,my body is feeble1 but my soul pants after ,god4 ,i want totally to abandon self1 that ,christ may be all in all4 ,he is the chief object of my affection1 but ,i want to lay firmer hold upon ,his omnipotent strength4 ,it is faith that brings the power to exhibit the graces of the ,spirit1 and to act acceptably in the sight of ,god4 ,,christian ,,friendship4 ,friendship hails the rising joy1 ,and shares the falling tear2 ,breathes the sympathetic sigh1 ,and swells the common prayer4 ,how it soothes the troubled breast6 ,this charity divine ,breathes the balm of heavenly rest4 --,may such a friend be mine4 ,after my morning duties are discharged1 ,i intend to devote the ,thursday of every week to the ,lord1 so long as health and opportunity are afforded me2 especially in visiting the members of my class1 ministering to the sick1 and attending the school4 ,i went out feeling that ,i was the engaged servant of the ,lard1 and he has graciously blessed my endeavours4 ,one whom ,i visited is earnestly seeking the ,lord2 and another1 who has long been indebted to my husband1 gave me a sovereign towards the amount-unsought1 unasked1 and unexpected6 ,father of all1 and ,god of grace1 ,whose ever watchful eye ,surveys the depth and breadth of space2 ,yet sees the sparrow fly3 ,behold my heart--it pants for ,thee2 ,the temple for ,thyself prepare2 ,there let ,thy throne established be1 ,thy name engraven there4 ,much against my inclination1 ,i paid a formal visit to ----2 providentially ,i was seated near a friend1 who was willing to converse on things conducing to holiness4--,among the ,lord's poor my soul is often blessed4 ,this day1 the day ,i have set apart for ,god1 ,i wrote to ,miss ,b4 respecting the ,sunday class2 and1 after arranging my domestic affairs1 set forth to visit ,mrs4 ,d41 then ,mary ,h41 who was sitting up reading her ,bible4 ,as soon as ,i entered1 she began to tell me1 that a great change had taken place in her views and feelings2 and that prayer and reading the word1 were her greatest delight4 ,i asked her how long she had experienced this2 she replied1 ',about a month4 ,you had been praying with me2 many things you said fastened upon my mind3' then1 laying her hand upon her heart1 she added1 ',i felt such a weight here1 ,i knelt down to pray2 and after getting into bed again1 it seemed as if a voice spoke to me1 ',mary1 the door is open3' from that time ,i have felt such peace of mind1 and pleasure in reading the ,bible1 as ,i never did before4' ,lord1 ,thou art able to judge of this statement1 and bringest men to ,thyself1 by ways and means unknown to human sense4 ,this occurred on the first ,thursday ,i devoted to ,god4 ,lord1 make me faithful in the discharge of the trust reposed in me4--,i am this morning left alone2 yet not alone4 ,i feel a blessed sense of the divine presence1 which enables me to anticipate my heavenly inheritance2 but not for any merit in me3 oh no6 on ,jesus hangs my hope4 ,to me belongeth shame and confusion of face2 for my best doings are polluted1 and all my good is from ,himself4 ,praised be ,his name for the change effected in my mind4 ,the saints of ,god are my delight1 the word of ,god my treasure1 and communion with ,god my greatest joy4--,through mercy1 although feeble in body1 ,i am better than during last week4 ,yet even then ,i enjoyed peace1 and when weakest1 my faith has been strongest2 ,i could commit all into ,his hands2 still ,i see myself a poor empty creature4 ,it is all of grace1 through ,jesus4 ,precious name6 ,afflictions1 from ,thy gracious hand1 ,unmingled blessings prove2 ,the rod1 prepared at ,thy command1 ,displays a ,father's love4 ,beneath its weight1 submissive1 ,lord1 ,upward to ,thee ,i look2 ,expect according to ,thy word1 ,a blessing in the stroke4 ,may every pain be sanctified2 ,and every grace improve2 ,till freed from dross1 like silver tried1 ,my soul is only love4 ,no tear shall then bedew my eyes1 ,no grief my bosom swell2 ,the note of gratitude shall rise1 ,thou hast done all things well4 ,my dear mother has had a fall1 and has been much indisposed in consequence4 ,i am thankful to have her so near me1 as it is a pleasure to perform my duty as a child4 ,in this1 and every other relation1 may ,i be found faithful4--,i rose very early1 as ,i felt concerned about my dear mother2 and went to her room-door1 between three and four o'clock2 but as ,mary had fastened it within1 ,i could not obtain admittance4 ,however1 ,i betook myself to prayer1 and commended her to the ,lord4 ,this passage was strongly impressed upon my mind3 ',the ,lord will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing2 ,thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness4'--,i spent the day at ,h41 in the company of some friends not decidedly devoted to ,god4 ,the ,lord kept me1 and ,i am thankful ,i came home without condemnation4 ,i was favoured with an opportunity of speaking with each of them respecting their spiritual state1 and the things of eternity4--,for some time ,i have been surrounded by hurry and excitement1 and longing for a little retirement4 ,at length1 in a way ,i did not expect1 ,i am in part secluded from my family4 ,in this ,i am constrained to acknowledge the mercy of ,god to an undeserving worm4 ,brought apparently to the grave's edge1 ,i have been refreshed with ,his presence1 and had power to cast myself upon ,his fatherly love4 ,the enemy assaults me2 but aware of my own weakness ,i venture1 powerless as ,i am1 upon the boundless merits of ,jesus4 ,how sweet is still retirement6 ,how it calms ,the mind1 and aids reflection6 ,here my soul1 ,unfetter'd1 soars to converse with its ,god4 ,i hear his ,spirit whisp'ring round me now2 ,and love1 and gratitude subdue my heart4 ,yes1 ,solitude6 ,i love thee1 and enjoy ,in thy sequester'd depths1 the bliss1 in crowds ,i seek in vain4 ,my ,god6 my only joy6 ,yet1 ,o blest ,saviour1 when ,thy voice is heard1 ,amid the tumult springs a sudden calm1 ,and heaven-born peace pervades my happy soul4 ,a situation has offered for ,richard1 which we have hesitated to accept or refuse1 wishful to do right1 and afraid of doing wrong4 ,in this dilemma1 we cast ourselves at the footstool of mercy1 my husband and mother uniting with me1 and were fully enabled to roll our care upon ,god1 who wonderfully undertook for us4 ,i believe we have done right4 ,,ix4 ,,mid-,,day ,,toil4 ,,seek ,,that ,,ye ,,may ,,excel ,,to ,,the ,,edifying ,,of ,,the ,,church4 #a ,cor4 xiv4 #ab4 ,true religion is reproductive4 ,a converted man will try to convert his neighbour2 and the value of his own experience may in general be tested by the manner in which he uses his opportunities of doing good4 ,so true is this1 that the ,saviour said1 ,he1 that is not with me1 is against me2 and he1 that gathereth not with me1 scattereth abroad4 ,an inactive ,christian is a contradiction in terms2 for he is no copy of his divine ,master1 who1 morning1 noon1 and night1 went about doing good4 ,all the ,scriptural symbols of the kingdom of ,god are expressive of energetic action4 ,the little cloud attracts to itself the moist particles of the atmosphere1 until it covers the whole heavens4 ,the seed germinates1 and grows1 till it brings forth thirty1 sixty1 or a hundred fold4 ,the leaven1 which is but a minute form of vegetable life1 developes itself in every direction by means of little cells2 which again form others1 and thus by continual reproduction1 leavens the whole mass4 ,what ,is the lesson8 ,every heart in which the kingdom of ,god is set up1 becomes a centre of life and action1 exerting a healing influence upon the corrupting masses of society around4 ,and oh6 if every ,christian professor were thus endued with power from on high1 what could hinder the progress of the truth8 ,how would it spread and prevail1 until the whole world submitted to its sway6 ,mrs4 ,lyth was imbued with the true spirit of ,christian zeal4 ,by letter1 as well as by direct appeal2 by secret intercessions with ,god1 as well as by personal effort2 she sought to win souls to ,christ4 ,instant in season and out of season1 few came in contact with her without feeling the force of her religious character2 and her diligence in visiting the sick1 the needy1 and the careless1 superadded to the faithful discharge of home duties1 often affected her own health4 ,in the ,autumn of #ahbe1 she spent some weeks at ,hovingham1 a small watering-place in the west of ,yorkshire2 but1 though only delicate through recent sickness1 she sought her relaxation in doing good4 ,on the ,sabbath she went round the village to invite the people to the ,chapel1 and on the week-day visited the afflicted and infirm4 ,one case occurred here1 which well illustrates her persevering charity1 even under circumstances of discouragement4 ,a young gentleman1 educated for the legal profession1 and the son of one1 who at an earlier period had met with her in the same class1 had come to seek relief in an advanced stage of consumption4 ,she sought him out at a neighbouring village2 but when announced1 he refused to see her1 and sent the not over polite message1 that if it had been a clergyman1 it would have been another thing4 ,however the hostess1 who was a ,methodist1 said1 if she would come at such an hour1 she would be able to obtain an interview1 as he went out riding every day1 and was obliged to pass through her sitting-room4 ,she went at the time specified1 and for the purpose of introduction took with her a book1 which she offered to lend him4 ,he just turned over a few of the leaves1 and not finding it to his taste1 returned it1 saying1 she might take it back4 ,nothing disheartened1 she talked with him about his mother1 and her anxiety for his salvation2 until at length she prevailed upon him1 though not without a degree of reluctance1 to allow her to pray with him4 ,in a few days he was taken so much worse1 that he was obliged to return home2 and with the view of obtaining another interview1 she wrote a letter1 which she took to him1 with the request that he would kindly forward it1 as soon as he arrived in ,york4 ,this he courteously engaged to do4 ,on parting she said1 ,well1 sir1 as you are going to return1 ,i must say farewell2 perhaps we shall never see each other again4 ,what1 he replied1 do you think ,i am going to die8 ,no sir1 she returned1 but neither you nor ,i seem likely to live very long4 ,the nail was fastened in a sure place4 ,immediately on her return to ,york he sent for her1 saying to his mother1 ,you know whom ,i want2 she must come every day4 ,the account of the visit is given in her own words4 ,i called upon ,mr4 ----2 and am thankful to find a blessed change in his spirit4 ,i read to him the eighth chapter of ,romans4 ,he cried aloud1 and requested me to pray with him1 which ,i did2 then his mother1 then ,i1 then a stranger4 ,truly it was a blessed time2 such as they professed never to have experienced before4 ,my soul felt the divine influence4 ,these visits were continued1 until1 in a few weeks1 he exchanged mortality for life4 ,the last notice of him is1 ,i saw ,mr4----1 whom ,i found in a blessed state of mind4 ,as his outward strength decays1 his inward man is renewed day by day2 his hope blooms with immortality4 ,when ,i was coming away1 and bidding him farewell1 in hope of meeting him again in heaven1 he replied1 ',i have not a doubt of it4' ,i entertained the hope of seeing him again on earth1 but on ,saturday night he died3 so ,i must now urge my way to meet him at the right-hand of ,god4 ,we continue our extracts3 ,i find1 that unnecessary conversation1 even with religious persons1 and on lawful subjects1 has a tendency to destroy the fervour of my spirit4--,mrs4 ,r1 met the dear little company2 the power of ,god was generally felt4 ,i proposed that we should meet every day at the throne of grace1 to pray especially for the salvation of some amongst us1 as well as for our own prosperity2 and desired as many as approved to signify it by lifting the hand1 which was done by all4 ,i have had some blessed seasons while interceding on this account4--,i was pressed in spirit to visit the speechless man4 ,after pointing him to the sinner's only refuge1 ,i knelt down2 when the ,lord shed upon me such an unusual degree of the spirit of grace and supplication1 that ,i was fully convinced the man was blessed4 ,on rising1 ,i asked him1 if he believed the ,lord would save him1 to lift up his hand1 which he did4 ,i asked him to repeat the sign1 if he felt happy4 ,this he also did4 ,i am the more encouraged1 as1 on a former occasion1 ,i had solicited the sign in vain4 ,my soul praised the ,lord on his account1 and ,i came home rejoicing4 ,farewell departed day6 farewell for ever6 ,from earth alone1 thy flight1 my soul can sever4 ,my hope is anchored on the ',rock of ages2' ,the storm in vain with fury round me rages4 ,farewell ye passing cares6 though pain and sorrow ,may be my lot to-day1 joy beams to-morrow3 ,within the veil1 my soaring faith has entered2 ,and all my happiness in ,christ is centered4 ,a precious day to me4 ,the ,lord enabled me to witness to the truth before the great congregation4--,i paid ,mr4 ,stoner and his bride a visit4 ,he would have me pray a blessing on their union2 but ,i did not feel the same liberty ,i found in praying with the speechless man a little after4 ,he again lifted up his hand when asked if he believed the ,lord would save him4 ,i went to see an afflicted person in the hospital2 a friend was reading to her2 but when ,i entered1 she ceased1 seeming wishful to hear what ,i had to say4 ,as the ,lord enabled me ,i urged upon them the necessity of salvation4 ,before ,i came away the number of listeners was increased to seven4 ,the ,lord gave me liberty of utterance1 and they earnestly pressed me to renew my visit4 ,if this is from ,thee1 ,o ,lord1 open my way4 ,the afflicted person1 whom ,i have visited several times before1 professes to have found peace more than a week ago4 ,another of them wept1 because she found out she wanted something she did not possess4 ,upon the whole the ,lord appears to have directed my visit4 ,may it be followed by a permanent blessing4 #ahbf4 ,this afternoon was employed in seeking out the necessities of the poor4 ,on my return home ,i felt ,i had done my duty1 but nothing more4 ,i can trust in nothing but ,christ for salvation4--,all ,i do and say1 seems poor and insignificant4 ,i want greater power to live to ,god2 watching against the assaults of the enemy1 guarding against self1 repelling vain thoughts1 living a moment at a time1 praying always4 ,i know this is possible2 for 'all things are possible to him that believeth4' ,oh for living faith4--,visited a poor afflicted widow4 ,after reading and praying1 she began to pray of her own accord2 and shortly broke out into praise1 in a manner that astonished me2 but it was the ,lord's doing4 ,she expressed her confidence in such terms that ,i could not doubt the truth of her confession4--,mr4 ,slack divided ,miss ,bentley's class4 ,what will be the result8 ,in consequence of ,miss ,b4's indisposition1 the class had been met by ,mrs4 ,lyth for some time2 and had so much increased that division became necessary4 ,if ,i live till next ,sunday ,i must take my share of it4 ,but who is sufficient for these things8 ,anoint me1 ,o ,lord1 with fresh oil4 ,make fresh discoveries of ,thy love4 ,breathe the ,holy ,ghost4 ,inspire the living fire4 ,furnish me out of ,thy treasury with arguments to defeat the devil1 and plead the cause of truth4 ,armed with ,thy power1 ,i feel willing to be the hand1 or the foot1 only souls are saved1 and ,thou art glorified4 ,i was sent for by a member of ,miss ,b4's class1 who was very ill4 ,the ,lord was pleased to bless her while ,i was with her2 so that clasping her hands she shouted1 several times1 ',glory be to ,god4' ,as ,i returned home it was sweetly brought to my mind1 ',inasmuch as ye did it to the least of these my brethren1 ye did it unto ,me4' ,the infinite fulness of ,god surpasses all my thought2--a breadth without a limit1 a length without a termination1 a height without a summit1 and a depth without a bottom4 ,how ,i grieve that anything else should occupy my thought6 for sure ,i am1 ,he is the only bliss on earth designed for man to know4 ,two days ,i have been begging for the new ,chapel1 and still ,i am requested to canvass the opposite side of ,walmgate4 ,lord1 if this is the way ,thou choosest to humble my pride1 make me willing to be the hand1 or the foot1 to help on ,thy cause4--,at the close of the class1 ,e4 came to me1 and by her silent1 yet expressive1 countenance said1 'pray for me4' ,we continued a little time longer1 but she did not obtain her heart's desire4 ,lord1 forgive our little faith4--,my mother and ,i started for ,sinnington4 ,during the journey my soul rested in ,jesus2 and since our arrival ,i have had power to look up through nature to nature's ,god2 a gift not afforded to every one because of blindness of heart4 ,while cousin ,elizabeth and ,i were united in prayer1 the ,lord poured upon me such a blessing1 with the words1 ',ask what ye will1 and it shall be done unto you1' as ,i cannot express4 ,i earnestly long for the salvation of the inhabitants of this village4 ,took tea with ,mr4 ,b4 ,many dainties1 yet ,i have greater satisfaction in visiting the sick than in gratifying the palate4 ,how much need have we to watch in every thing6 ,o keep me ever on my guard1 and watching unto prayer4--,my birthday4 ,three years ago ,i was in ,sheffield1 and there resolved to devote myself to ,god2 and ever since1 ,i have been endeavouring to do it4 ,still ,i am but a dwarf in growth1 yet will ,i not be unthankful for what ,i am4 ,i feel the peace of ,god in my soul1 with an increase of those fruits that spring from inward religion4 ,to ,god be all the glory4 ,the more ,i possess of this divine power1 the less ,i see in myself4 ,o how great is the love of ,god6 ,to-day ,i would renew my covenant with ,him4 ,here is my heart1 ,o take and seal it2 and let it be ,thine for ever4 ,scarbro'4 ,i took up my cross1 and spoke to some old women2 but oh6 the darkness of the human mind6 ,my medical adviser gives me permission to bathe4 ,o ,lord1 give ,thy blessing4 ,i had a delightful view of the sea from the ,spa4 ,nothing on earth is to my mind a more striking image of ,almighty power than this uncontrollable mass of waters1 to which ,he only can say1' ,peace be still1' and it obeys ,him4--,when ,i went to the ,chapel1 ,i felt considerable drowsiness1 and was afraid ,i should fall asleep2 but ,i lifted up my heart1 and entreated the ,lord to remove it1 which ,he graciously did1 and ,i sat under ,his shadow with great delight4--,after first giving myself into the hands of the ,lord1 and asking ,his blessing1 ,i bathed in company with ,miss ,b----t4 ,afterward1 during prayer1 while in the machine1 the ,lord graciously watered our souls4 ,to me it was a refreshing season4 ,i was truly overwhelmed with the precious love of ,jesus2 so that1 when we parted1 ,i went on my way rejoicing1 and praising ,god for the rich baptism bestowed on ,his worthless dust4--,my ,richard was articled to ,wm4 ,matterson1 ,esq41 ,surgeon4 ,this has made me many errands to the ,lord2 and now1 ,o ,god1 ,i leave him in ,thy hands3 still offering up my earnest prayer that ,thou wilt be his director and guide4 ,i feel more anxiety for his soul than his earthly interests4 ',the ways of a good man are ordered of the ,lord4' ,i dare rest upon ,thy word2 therefore my earnest prayer is1 that he may be a man of ,god4 ,o blessed ,saviour1 let my fervent petition be heard4 ,save him1 and fit him for ,thy will4--,this morning my waking thought was3 ,rises the sun1 his course to run1 ,in robes of golden light2 ,so may ,i put the ,saviour on4 ,and walk with ,him in white4 ,as flowers adorn the brow of morn1 ,and scent the fresh'ning air2 ,new graces1 in my spirit born1 ,diffuse their fragrance there4 ,with feelings of gratitude1 ,i resume my pen1 which has been laid aside for some weeks1 in consequence of domestic and personal affliction4 ,god has once more restored us2 and ,i would therefore acknowledge his loving-kindness4 ,the rod has been needful1 and the desire of my heart is1 that it may be sanctified to me and mine4 ,my dear mother continues ill1 and much harassed by the enemy4 ,o6 for faith to take hold upon the ,saviour3 through ,him we tread down our foes4 ,i can venture upon his atoning blood4 ,how vast my obligations1 and how unprofitable my services1 language fails to tell4--,mr4 ,bourne1 an old friend of my honoured father1 came and conversed awhile with us on the things pertaining to the ,kingdom2 then gave out a verse or two and prayed4 ,on leaving1 he said1 ',well1 ,mary1 ,i shall remember you1 and your family1 and pray for you2 and if ,i live to come to ,york again1 ,i will come and see you4 ,i felt more pleased than if he had given me gold and silver4--,a day like spring2 so clear1 and warm1 and sunny4 ,i entered upon it with strong desires after ,god1 and a sweet sense of his favour4 ,his presence cheers my path1 and smooths my way4 ,visited a man apparently near death2 awakened1 but ,o how dangerous to delay repentance until the last hour6 ,after meeting my class1 ,i called upon ,mary ,d41 to whom the ,lord has graciously revealed himself2 we rejoiced together while she spoke of the ,lord's goodness4 #ahbg4--,while interceding on behalf of my dear mother1 ,i was encouraged by the application of several suitable promises1 particularly1 ',at evening time it shall be light4' ,the morning following she told me of the comfort she had experienced during the night4 ,this must sustain my faith in future4--,my husband has this week declined business4 ,thou ,god of love1 still guide our path4 ,let us not 'miss our providential way2' but draw us nearer to ,thyself4--,taking tea with a neighbour1 whose salvation ,i have long desired1 ,i felt it my duty to speak plainly with her on the subject2 and was greatly encouraged by the inward voice of the ,spirit1 as also abundantly blessed while engaged in prayer4 ,whether ,i was of any use1 ,i know not1 but my work is with the ,lord4--,i went forth to visit the poor1 not knowing whither to direct my steps4 ,i begged guidance from above1 and believe the ,lord heard me2 for1 quite accidentally ,i was led to the bedside of a woman1 who had wandered from ,god2 but in her affliction had found out her error4 ,she appeared much affected1 and wished me to go again4--,called upon ,m4,h41 upwards of eighty4 ,she quoted many promises1 which were especially sweet to her4 ,it is delightful to visit such2 another whom ,i saw1 has been a persecutor1 but is now seeking salvation4--,i called to see ,mrs4 ,fettes1 who has long been a mother in ,israel4 ,my spirit was refreshed1 while she spoke of her experience of the things of ,god4 ,afterwards ,i saw ,mrs4 ,r42 with whom ,i had a blessed interview1 especially at the throne of grace4 ,my soul thirsts after ,god4 ,i feel ,i am saved1 but ,i want more4--,mr4 ,jos4 ,mortimer conducted a meeting at ,st4 ,george's ,chapel1 in which sixteen or seventeen persons obtained the forgiveness of sins4 ,one man1 who had been struggling about two hours1 witnessed a good confession before many witnesses4 ,when asked how he felt1 he said1 ',i feel as if ,i were in heaven3' and indeed his countenance testified the happy change that had been effected4 ,my two sons1 ,richard and ,william1 were much upon my mind2 but they remain in good desires4 ,lord1 fasten conviction upon their hearts4--,the power of ,god was eminently present in the band-meeting4 ,my two daughters1 went to the penitent form1 seeking a full salvation2 and there1 glory be to ,god1 they found it4 ,o that they may hold fast their confidence4 ,my heart bounded at the glad news1 while tears gushed from my eyes4--,in ,fossgate school-room a great number were made happy in ,god2 ,i am told about fifty1 and among them three members of my class4 ,mrs4 ,r----e and ,mrs4 ,r----n joined me1 at the 'eve of evening1' to pray for them4 ,whether it is in answer to our prayers or no1 thankful ,i am1 prayer has been heard and answered4--,this evening twenty-three young persons1 who have received spiritual benefit1 came to my little class4 ,i felt myself very inadequate to instruct them2--complete poverty4 ,lord1 help me4 ,mr4 ,mortimer accompanied me to visit a sick man1 who1 before we left1 professed faith in ,jesus4 ,o the unbounded mercy of ,god6 ,i want more of it4 ,it is estimated that1 during the week1 not less than three hundred have been brought to ,god3 and among them my ,richard4 ,keep him1 ,o ,lord1 near ,thy side1 and teach him all ,thy will4--,i feel cause of gratitude to ,god for ,his mercy to my family4 ,william has this night been brought under divine influence2 glory be to ,god2--a child of many prayers and many fears1 but ,god has found him out4 ,o keep him1 blessed ,jesus4 ,now all my family are brought to know ,god excepting little ,john2 for whom ,i pray1 and believe ,god hears4--,mr4 ,slack divided my little company 7about seventy72 allotting thirty of them to ,miss ,g4 ,o ,lord1 send us both prosperity4--,i have lately felt the constant power to pray2 and1 though ,i have nothing in hand1 ,i come to ,jesus1 and receive 'out of ,his fulness1 and grace for grace4' ,on ,thursday ,i wrote to my dear uncle1 endeavouring1 though feebly1 to urge him to the pursuit of inward holiness4 ,o ,lord1 bless him1 for ,christ's sake4 ,i think ,i never felt a greater desire for the salvation of others4 ,in this city the ,lord still continues to carry on ,his work4--,i accompanied ,mr4 ,m4 to ,heslington2 we had a blessed little meeting4 ,three obtained the forgiveness of sins4 ,surely these are the latter days1 when times of refreshing are promised4 ,every day souls are saved1 and set apart for ,god4 ,in our parlour last ,tuesday1 ,mrs4 ,f4 found liberty1 as also her daughter a few weeks ago4--,mr4 ,mortimer has been our guest the last month1 and will remain another week4 ,he is a man of ,god4 ,next week we expect ,mr4 ,is4 ,clayton4 ,i esteem it an honour conferred upon us to entertain the ministers of the ,lord2 but a much greater honour1 that the ,lord condescends to dwell in my heart4 ,o may ,i ever walk1 and dwell in ,him4--,after a week of indisposition1 mingled with much excitement1 ,i feel solid rest in ,god4 ,we had a blessed time in the band-meeting4 ,i think ,i was never more fully delivered from the creature4 ,how sweet to live above the world6 ,as ,i returned4 ,miss ,c4 joined me1 and informed me what the ,lord has done for her soul4 ,she believes ,he has taken full possession of her heart4 ,i rejoiced while she imparted the blessed news4 ,she expresses herself clearly4 ,o may she ever hold it fast4 ,i gave the following lines to ,miss ,a4 ,a4 on her birthday2 may they be made a blessing to her4 ,how important the season6 ,big with eternal results6--born for eternity6 ,let it be a day of reflection1 dedication1 and prayer2 and if the following lines prove any assistance to you1 ,i shall be amply repaid4 ,again the happy morn appears2 ,and nature1 clothed in beauty1 wears ,her wonted colours2 and the rose ,in all its pride of lustre glows2 ,emblem of frail mortality6 ,it buds and blossoms but to die3 ,too soon its glory fades away1 ,the passing pageant of a day4 ,in this fair flower1 your image trace2 ,while youth sits smiling on your face1 ,secure those virtues1 which perfume ,the life1 when beauty fails to bloom-- ,the rich adorning first designed1 ,the vesture of a humble mind4 ,be yours1 in rich abundance given1 ,the treasure of an inward heaven4' ,hence virtue takes its deepest root1 ,and scatters fragrance in the shoot2 ,blossoms when youth hath passed away1 ,maturing for eternal day4 ,reflect2 the moment flies6 'tis gone6 ,the year its rapid course hath run6 ,what tidings have been winged to heaven1 ,since first the precious boon was given8 ,examine well2 nor fear to know1 ,what truth may in its mirror show4 ,is this1 your twentieth birthday1 blest ,with more of wisdom in your breast8 ,are your affections more divine8 ,do you in ,jesus' image shine8 ,more dead unto the world and sin1 ,than when you did the year begin8 ,if fraught with truth our moments are1 ,and swift to heaven the tidings bear2 ,how should we weigh each act and word1 ,and wisely think1 for thoughts are heard6 ,at this important period pause1 ,and unto ,god commit your cause2 ,with firm resolve and earnest prayer1 ,to meet ,him in the clouds1 prepare4 ,him first1 ,him last1 in all things own1 ,whose wisdom guides in paths unknown2 ,then1 as the winged hours ascend1 ,shall blessings fall upon my friend2 ,till1 full of years1 matured you rise ,to claim your birthright in the skies4 ,x4 ,,works ,,of ,,mercy4 ,i ,,desired ,,mercy1 ,,and ,,not ,,sacrifice4--,hosea vi4 #f4 ,mercy is the brightness of the glory of ,god2--the rainbow round about the throne2 wherein the pure light of ,deity1 too effulgent for the eye of sinful man1 is refracted1 and presented under an aspect1 which not only reveals his manifold wisdom1 and perfections1 but blends them in one bright manifestation of beauty1 which even sinners may dare to contemplate1 with wonder1 admiration and love4 ,jesus ,christ is the embodiment of the picture1 being the brightness of the ,father's glory1 full of grace and truth4 ,while ,he enters the lowly abodes of humanity1 to contemplate its sorrows1 and minister to its relief2 the dazzling effulgence of divine majesty is veiled under a covering of flesh4 ,nevertheless1 it is ,,god who weeps with ,martha1 and ,mary2 who wipes away the widow's tear1 and speaks words of comfort to the outcast4 ,incomprehensible ,mystery6 ,it is ,,god incarnate1 who suffers and dies upon the cross to purchase life for ,his enemies4 ,what a picture is this6 ,so far as it is capable of being reproduced1 ,god loves to see it revived in ,his children2 and never does a man become more truly great1 or more faithfully represent his ,master1 than when1 putting on bowels of mercies1 he seeks by every means to alleviate the sorrows and sufferings of his fellows4 ,blessed are the merciful1 for they shall obtain mercy4 ,at this period1 ,mrs4 ,lyth's journal abounds with instances of her benevolent exertions1 but a few of which we can transfer to these pages2 yet they are ever recorded with an humble consciousness of her own unworthiness4 ,she proceeds3-- ,i want to improve all my moments for ,god1 but1 on reviewing the past1 ,i find ,i need everywhere the blood of sprinkling4 ,i am ,thine1 save me4 ,i feel ,christ is precious now4 ,he has my whole heart1 yet ,i want an increase of every grace1 especially of patience1 and meekness4--,i feel my own poverty is great2 be it so1 let me only receive more largely out of ,thy fulness4 ,humble1 ,o humble me to the dust1 but let ,thy image shine in me4 ,while ,i write ,i am awed by the presence of ,deity4 ,oh let it continually surround me4 ,jonathan ,saville met my dear little flock2 ,i felt my own littleness1 while he spoke to us4--,i accompanied my husband to ,barnbow1 to invite ,mr4 ,dawson to come and preach ,dr4 ,mc,allum's funeral sermon2 which he consented to do4 ,to me it was a day of rich enjoyment1 for my soul was happy in ,god4 ,i recognized ,his presence in the heavens above1 and the earth beneath2 indeed everything spoke of ,him4 ,i took tea with ,mrs4 ,r----n1 who desired me to pay a little attention to the moral and religious character of her son1 resident for a time in ,york4 ,o what a responsibility6 ,i write it here that ,i may remember4--,mrs4 ,r----n has come to stay a few days with us4 ,on ,tuesday1 we breakfasted with a few praying friends at ,mrs4 ,f4's4 ,while pleading with ,god a blessed influence rested upon all4 ,i felt as if let into ,god4 ,what will it be when prayer is turned to praise8 ,to-day we had another baptism at ,miss ,c4's4 ,the same friends were present4 ,surely ,christian friendship is one soul in many bodies2 who can express the unity8--',jesus is bringing lost sinners to ,god2' ,glory be to ,god6 ,i feel it my duty to pay more attention to my boys2 praying for them is not enough4 ,i must warn1 and daily inculcate their duty and privilege4 ,lord help me4--,i visited ,mrs4 ,f41 and found it profitable to converse with an aged saint2 we were comforted together4 ,she said the ,lord had sent me4 ,it is true ,i prayed for direction1 and the promise is1 if we acknowledge ,him1 ,he will direct our steps4 ,evermore guide me4--,mr4 ,mortimer and his brother breakfasted with us4 ,while at family-prayer the latter1 who had backslidden1 began to cry aloud for mercy2 the ,lord speedily came to his deliverence1 and prayer was turned to praise4--,i went to the ,sabbath ,school tea-meeting2 but doubted whether ,i was in my proper place4 ,however1 ,i resolved to send ,william and ,john to the ,school1 simply with the hope that their minds might be impressed with divine truth4--,thursday4 ,a day devoted to works of mercy1 both to the bodies and souls of men2 in which ,i prayed to be saved from self1 and directed aright2 but how feeble and imperfect my efforts6 ,i feel myself a poor nothing4--,while visiting ,mr4 ,s41 who is in a dying state1 ,i was much encouraged4 ,he has long been a hearer1 but neglected to embrace salvation4 ,while ,i was pleading for him1 he exclaimed1 ',i believe1 ,i believe4' ,i saw him again the next day1 and on asking him if he felt ,christ precious1 he said1 after a short pause1 ',precious1 quite precious4'--,i was much affected by a circumstance related by the ,rev4 ,robert ,wood1 of an eminently pious man in ----2 who has not been seen to smile for four years1 and when asked the reason1 uniformly replies1 ',the word of ,god is true2 the wages of sin is death2 my son died in his sins1 and is now in hell4 ,how can ,i be cheerful8' ,may this make me more than ever in earnest in pleading for my sons4--,i am aiming to have a conscience void of offence in the sight of ,god and man2 but1 on examining my doings1 ,i am ashamed of them4 ,i might have used greater diligence1 evidenced more love1 spoken with greater propriety1 cultivated a more affable spirit4 ,i might have been more pointed in address1 more constant1 more humble1 and in many ways have acted with greater ,christian consistency2 but ,jesus is my refuge4 ,praised be ,his name1 ,i love ,him6--,at the lovefeast ,mr4 ,w4 stated1 that a man in ,l---- had five sons1 for whose salvation he had importunately prayed1 from the time of their birth until he died2 but without success4 ,they all followed his remains to the grave2 and1 as they were taking their last look at the coffin after the usual service1 one of them clasped his hands and exclaimed3--',i once had a praying father2 but there he lies2 and now ,i must pray for myself4' ,from that moment he commenced a new life1 and was soon brought to the knowledge of the truth4 ,within two years the rest were all truly converted to ,god3 encouragement for parents4--,i prayed that the ,lord would direct my steps in visiting the poor1 and in this ,he answered me3 for quite unexpectedly ,i was sent for to the bedside of a woman apparently dying1 and who1 being awakened to her lost condition1 lamented the neglect of past opportunities4 ,while a friend was praying she began to pray for herself1 faith instantly sprang up in her heart1 and she cried out1 ',i will believe1 ,lord help me1 ,i never felt it so with me before4'--,glory be to ,god1 ,i am still a witness of ,his saving grace2 though buffeted by the enemy within1 and exposed to temptation from without4 ,i see the path lies straight before me1--'looking unto ,jesus1' who is yet alive4 ,if ,i proceed1 ,i feel confident of conquest over all my enemies4--,mr4 ,barnabas ,shaw met my ,sunday class and said1 that once when preaching in ,africa1 he exclaimed3--',what is it makes the ,gospel so sweet8' ,one of the natives instantly arose and said1 ',jesus4' ,truly it is so4 ,my soul tangs on ,jesus2 here ,i find rest4 ,the last few days ,i have been endeavouring to live in the will of ,god1 with some power to do it4 ,to ,god be all the glory for the work ,he has wrought4 ,yesterday ,i took the sacrament with poor ,mary ,f41 who is praising ,god for the grace manifested to her on a death-bed4 ,how quickly time flies6 ,well1 let it go-- ,if ,jesus my companion be1 ,my words and actions shall agree1 ,the index of my soul2 ,meekness1 benevolence1 and love1 ,shall every secret purpose move4 ,and sanctify the whole4 ,the following letter was sent1 with the articles specified1 to some unknown person in ,nottingham2 and the subject of it remained a secret in her own bosom1 until the copy was found among her papers4 ,dear ,sir1--,having a little matter to put into your hands in aid of the ,methodist ,missions1 ,i take the liberty of addressing a few lines to you4 ,the approach of your ,annual ,meeting at ,nottingham reminds me of what ,i have seen and heard on such occasions2 viz41 that small donations1 and comparatively trivial incidents1 in the hands of your ingenious and able speakers1 have often been turned to good account1 and produced a very happy impression4 ,this consideration induces me to mention a few particulars relative to myself1 which otherwise would be impertinent4 ,when very young1 a kind friend of mine1 for whom ,i had a great affection1 gave me a piece of silver newly coined1 with which ,i was so well pleased1 that ,i was resolved to keep it for the sake of the giver2 or1 as the common phrase is1 to make a keepsake of it3 and this resolution ,i held so sacred1 that neither childish toy1 or youthful pleasure1 could wrest the treasure from me4 ,when in my twentieth year1 it pleased ,god to bring me to the knowledge of ,his salvation2 which so rejoiced my heart1 that the natural consequence was a readiness on all occasions to contribute my mite to promote the cause of the ,redeemer1 through whom ,i had experienced such unspeakable happiness4 ,on one occasion it happened1 that ,i had no money about me but this piece1 which ,i had so long and sacredly kept in remembrance of my friend4 ,as the collectors were handing the boxes round to the different pews1 ,i began to argue in my mind the propriety of giving away my piece1 as the best way of keeping it4 ,the thought of laying it out upon myself ,i could not entertain for a moment2 and was aware there would come a time when ,i could no longer retain it4 ,at length1 to test the propriety of giving it1 ,i supposed ,i had done so2 and afterwards met my much-loved friend in the world of spirits4 ,i imagined she was well acquainted with what ,i had done2 but1 on consulting her countenance1 ,i could not perceive the least mark of displeasure3 on the contrary1 ,i thought she gave me a smile of approbation4 ,this determined me2 accordingly1 when the box was presented to me1 ,i dropped my piece into it2 and from that moment to the present1 whenever the circumstance has occurred to me1 ,i have always felt perfectly satisfied with my decision4 ,at the present ,i have a few choice things1 bequeathed to me by a dear friend1 now1 ,i trust1 in heaven2 and ,i wish1 as in the former instance1 to keep them for the sake of the giver2 but ,i can think of no means so satisfactory as that to which ,i have adverted4 ,i therefore send them as specified in the margin2 ,footnote3 ,the articles were--a silver coffee-pot and stand1 a silver plated tea-pot1 a silver cream-jug1 do4 fish-knife1 and half-a-dozen do4 dessert spoons4 and request they may be appropriated to the furtherance of the ,gospel of our ,lord ,jesus ,christ4 ,perhaps some may be disposed to question the propriety of such a mode of preserving their treasure2 but1 ,i think1 ,i cannot do better than put the precious things to those which are most precious4 ,with most fervent prayer for the prosperity of ,zion1 ,i remain1 ,dear ,sir1 ,yours most respectfully4 ,my mother continues very ill2 how it will terminate ,i know not4 ,her affliction bows her down to the dust2 and though she casts herself upon the ,lord1 she seems to have no joyous feeling4 ,i have been with her night and day4 ,sometimes sorrow overcomes me2 but the promise1 which ,i received some months since1 when ,i was praying for her1 follows me daily3 ',at evening time it shall be light1'--,at the ,watch-night service ,mr4 ,wood desired us1 on our return home1 to take pen and paper1 and testify whom we would serve4 ,to ,thee1 ,o ,lord1 ,i plight my vows2 in the strength of ,thy grace1 ,i ,,will ,,serve ,,thee4 ,thou1 who seest me1 ratify the decision in heaven4 ,help me to perform what ,thou requirest of me4 ,my talents1 my time1 my body1 my soul2 be wholly ,thine4 ,amen1 and amen4 ,,mary ,,lyth4 ,here with the closing year1 ,i would my vows renew2 ,humbly before ,thy throne appear2 ,in mercy do ,thou deign to hear1 ,descend1 and bless me now4 #ahbh4--,when ,i awoke1 this blessed admonition was given me for a morning repast2 ',abide ye in ,my love2' and sweet it was to my taste4 ,a ,,birthday ,,thought4 ,no cold wish do ,i express1-- ,many birthday's happiness2 ,but in heart sincerely pray1 ,god may dwell in you each day2 ,every day1 a birthday prove1 ,born anew in ,jesus' love4 ,i was sent for to visit ,l4,g41 but she did not come to see me4 ,oh6 what a deplorable case6 without ,god6 without hope6 and without desire6 ,her friends1 who had come for me1 seemed concerned on her account4 ,lord1 lay to ,thy mighty hand2 the work is ,thine4 ,praised be ,thy name1 for opening my eyes1 once equally blind1 though at a much earlier period4 ,i am a much greater debtor to grace1 because of its long continuance1 great forbearance1 and incessant efforts to win my worthless heart4 ,,my ,,wedding ,,day4 ,,lines ,,addressed ,,to ,,my ,,husband4 ,full thrice seven years ,i've shared your home and name1 ,nor yet extinguished is affection's flame3 ,by reason tempered1 now with steady heat1 ,it brighter glows1 fed by endearments sweet4 ,hail then the day1 that made us one on earth1 ,yet not with pipe1 and song1 and foolish mirth2 ,bather to ,god let us our vows repay ,with hearts united2--at ,his footstool say ,we will be ,thine2 call us ,thy love1 ,thy bride1 ,and let us shelter in ,thy bleeding side4 ,so when dissolved the matrimonial chain1 ,we die1 to live2 and live1 to meet again4 ,transporting thought6 through our ,redeemer's love1 ,we have the promise of a house above2 ,death disappears1 with all his sable train1 ,and light1 and life1 and love for ever reign4 ,come then1 my love1 let us together rise1 ,forget the things behind1 and seek the prize2 ,by fervency of spirit daily show ,we pilgrims are1 and sojourners below3 ,and should some storm of fierce affliction come1 ,portending shipwreck in the sight of home2 ,in ,jesus anchored1 strength shall be supplied1 ,till we the fury of the storm outride2 ,and reach the haven of serene repose1 ,where all our sorrows shall for ever close4 ,amen1 so be it1 let our hearts reply1-- ,in ,christ made one1--in ,him to live and die2 ,in life1 our happiness united be1 ,in death1 divided not1--eternally4 ,i have given my husband a copy of these lines this morning1 proposing that we devote one hour for the special purpose of dedicating ourselves to the ,lord4 ,may we do it with unfeigned hearts4 ,i feel humbled on account of the past2 resolved at the present2 and encouraged for the future4--,having occasion to administer reproof1 ,i spoke with greater severity than the circumstances required4 ,o when shall ,i possess that self-government1 which tempers every word and action4 ,though suffering from indisposition1 my mind is kept in peace4 ,unworthy as ,i am1 ,christ is precious4 ,,addressed ,,to ,,my ,,little ,,john1 ,,this ,,day ,,seven ,,years ,,old4 ,linked with the memories of the day1 ,your name the first appears2 ,a little stranger1 did they say1 ,a transient visit comes to pay1 ,and still we hail your longer stay ,though now 'tis full seven years4 ,my lovely boy1 your sojourn here1 ,awakens anxious care2 ,your tender mind aright to rear2 ,your steps to guard from danger near2 ,oh6 might the ,god of mercy hear1 ,and bless a mother's prayer4 ,know then1 my child1 ,god speaks to-day1 ,my son1 give me thy heart4 ,oh6 will you not without delay1 ,in secret go to ,god and pray1 ,that he would take your sins away1 ,and ,his pure love impart8 ,i'm sure ,he loves to hear you pray2 ,to-day then1 do begin2 ,he'll hearken unto what you say1 ,and never turn ,his ear away1 ,but answer you from day to day1 ,if you will give up sin4 ,i love you1 ,john1 you know ,i do2 ,god loves you more than ,i2 ,as once on ,samuel1 now on you ,he calls1 ,o may you answer too2 ,speak1 ,lord1 ,thy servant's heart renew1 ,for at ,thy feet ,i lie4 ,good children ever are inclined ,obediently to live2 ,humble1 and teachable1 and kind1 ,they wish to know the ,saviour's mind1 ,and often seek that they may find1 ,what ,god alone can give4 ,as ,i went to meet my class it was suggested1 as it was also the last time1 ',who hath reaquired this at your hands8' ,is it from an enemy8 or am ,i in a wrong position8 ,the people seem to prosper1 and the ,lord gives me liberty among them2 but often has a cloud gathered over my spirit when ,i have been going to meet them4 ,o ,lord1 remove my doubts1 and guide me by ,thy counsel4 ,i wish to sink into ,thy will2 use me or lay me aside2 only let ,thy will be done4--,the last week has been to many a season of high enjoyment2 but for myself1 although ,i rejoice in the success of missions1 my soul has not yet learned to preserve its centre in the midst of the excitement1 which on such occasions often falls to my lot4 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,isaac were with us from ,monday till ,wednesday2 and on ,friday afternoon1 the ,yorkshire bard1 ,james ,montgomery1 ,esq41 with several other friends1 was with us at tea4 ,my mind was kept in peace1 and during singing and prayer ,i found it profitable4 ,mr4 ,montgomery presided at the ,missionary ,meeting1 which by some is pronounced the best they ever attended4 ,surely it was the presence of the ,great ,head of the ,church1 which made it so4--,we had a blessed season at the class4 ,afterwards ,i went to ,albion ,street ,school4 ,a class of girls retired with me into the little room1 for the purpose of conversation and prayer3 while they listened the tears started in their eyes4 ,i feel deeply concerned for their salvation4 ,the work is ,thine2 these souls are ,thine2 help me1 ,lord1 to do ,thy work faithfully2 that success may follow4 ,this morning ,i was much exercised4 ,afflictions sanctified ,are blessings kindly given2 ,they1 who the fiery test abide1 ,receive an inward heaven4 ,that ,kingdom1 ,lord1 be mine1 ,just as ,thy goodness wills2 ,a heart renewed1 a will resigned1 ,a soul1 that ,jesus fills4 ,then1 every grace shall grow2 ,its fruits in beauty shine2 ,from love shall every action flow1 ,and all the praise be ,thine4 ,i have been to see after two of my members1 over whom ,i fear ,i have cause to mourn4 ,one was gone out1 yet could not come to class6 ,the other was in bed6 ,i fear there is a dearth of spiritual feeling4 ,lord1 give me wisdom and faithfulness4--,after collecting for the ,missions1 ,i visited a member of mine in the hospital1 and prayed with several of the afflicted in the ward4 ,the person1 whom ,i went to see some time ago1 is recovering1 and wishes to join with us4 ,kirkby4 ,i arrived here yesterday about ten o'clock1 after a delightful journey2 and am resolved1 that change of scene shall make no difference in my religious feelings2 unless1 by the opportunity of retirement1 ,i get closer to the ,lord4 ,my hearing is a little dull1 but my prayer is1 that this affliction may be sanctified2 and removed1 when the ,lord pleases4 ,christ in me is the source of my happiness4 ,i hunger after righteousness2 more faith--humility--meekness--love4 ,o how beautiful are the fruits of grace6 ,the rich clusters of the heavenly vine1 invite my longing taste4--,spent two nights at ,follifoot1 with ,miss ,b4 ,i went with the resolution of conversing with her on the necessity of a change of heart2 and on reflection have no ground of condemnation2 only1 ,i might have used greater earnestness4 ,my time has passed more pleasantly than ,i anticipated4 ,we took a walk through the park to the late residence of a gentleman1 who has been obliged to leave the country1 in consequence of his own extravagance1 and imprudence4 ,his beautiful mansion is sinking in ruins2 and loathsome reptiles are its only occupants4 ,such is earthly grandeur2 and such the man1 that makes not ,god his refuge4 ,the grounds are delightful2 but for want of proper cultivation1 begin to show evident marks of the curse3--thorns and thistles springing up in abundance4 ,molly accompanied me back with the grey pony2 and1 as she walked by my side1 ,i warned her to flee from the wrath to come4--,walked to ,pannal2 here ,i found need of watchfulness1 and courage2 all--in nature's night2 blessed with earthly good2 but destitute of heavenly peace4 ,i prayed with the family each evening2 and spoke to each member1 with the exception of ,mr4 ----1 on the need of preparation for another world2 but my efforts were feeble4 ,my happiest hours have been spent in retirement1 and solitary walks2 one of which1 was extremely delightful4 ,the picturesqueness of the scenery1 combined with smiling heavens1 conspired to raise my mind to ,him1 whose forming hand has adorned all nature1 and has raised my soul from death to life4 ,the scene vividly called to remembrance my beloved cousin ,ann2 with whom on this very spot1 ,i had passed some of the happiest moments of my life4 ,i felt what ,i cannot put into words4 ,on my return to ,york1 ,i found ,eliza1 bathing her face after the application of leeches2 and ,mary1 putting ,john to bed1 in the measles4 ,such is life6 ,it is the ,lord1 and to ,his will1 ,i would patiently submit4 ,,xi4 ,a ,,dying ,,scene4 ,,precious ,,in ,,the ,,sight ,,of ,,the ,,lord ,,is ,,the ,,death ,,of ,,his ,,saints4--,psalm cxvi4 #ae4 ,how solemn1 and instructive1 is the scene of death6 ,what a satire upon the pride1 pomp1 and vanity of the world6 and yet1 when relieved by the cheering experience of divine truth1 what a blessed confirmation of all that the ,bible tells us6 ,the utterances of the dying ,saint1 come home to our hearts with peculiar force4 ,it is as if the spirit of the departing1 having reached the boundary of time1 and looking forth on the unclouded scene beyond1 shouted back to its companions yet enveloped with the mists and gloom of earth3 ,it is all true1 you have only to follow on a little further1 and the glorious prospect will burst upon you4 ,mrs4 ,lyth seems to have carefully treasured the last words of those1 who1 within the circle of her acquaintance1 died in the ,lord2 and in the case of particular friends1 these notices sometimes extend to several pages3 as if she delighted to linger on the borders of another world1 and to catch a momentary glimpse of its happiness1 and the distant sound of the harpers1 harping with their harps4 ,an example occurs in the course of the following extracts4 ,at the two o'clock class1 many were in tears2 while others testified of the ,lord's goodness4 ,we were1 as one of the little hills of ,zion1 refreshed by the dew from above4 ,in the evening ,i remained at home1 intending1 if the way opened1 to go and see my cousin ,elizabeth1 who is very ill4 ,john is recovering2 ,eliza is still unwell1 but ,i will leave them in the ,lord's hands4--,a little before six1 ,i left my cousin ,elizabeth much better1 and happy in ,god4 ,she told me that in the night she could scarcely refrain from singing3-- ',here we raise our voices higher1 ,shout in the refiner's fire1 ,clap our hands amid the flame1 ,glory give to ,jesus' name4' ,on analysing the feelings of my heart1 ,i find a disposition to brood over trifling grievances2 this robs my peace1 and encourages an unfavourable opinion of those who occasion them4 ,this is surely some of the filthiness of the spirit from which ,i must be cleansed3 ,i feel ashamed of it2 ,lord1 deliver me4--,have been to see ,fanny ,mc,d4 ,she is very ill in body1 but when asked respecting her soul1 she said1 ',i have had a feast to-day while alone with ,jesus1 my ,redeemer4' ,she is one of the ,lord's jewels1 like ,lazarus1 enclosed in a casket of rags4 ,after hearing ,mr4 ,vevers preach from 'we must all appear at the judgment-seat of ,christ1' ,i dreamt ,i saw the heavens melting with fervent heat4 ,i felt no condemnation1 but began to pray earnestly4 ,the impression1 which this has made on my mind1 has awakened increased earnestness--,a stranger came into the class1 who was much affected2 gladly would ,i have travelled in birth for her1 until ,christ was formed in her heart2 but our time was limited1 and she went mourning away4 ,from thence ,i went to ,albion ,street ,school1 to converse with some of the children2 several of them wept4 ,in the evening ,i attended ,st4 ,john's ,church4 ,i can enjoy a ,gospel ministry in the church1 as well as the chapel3 true religion destroys every wall of partition4--,i received a very affecting letter from cousin ,penelope4 ,elizabeth is in a very afflicted1 but happy state4 ,during the night ,i have been wakeful1 and much drawn out in prayer2 but felt reproved for having purchased something which ,i could have done without4 ,i acknowledge my weakness4 ,may the ,lord give me a deeper sense of my responsibility1 as the steward of ,his manifold gifts4--,retired from the bustle of the city to ,eastfield ,house4 ,i took a walk to the village1 and called to see ,miss ,h4 on my way to the class-meeting4 ,we joined in social prayer1 when my friend exclaimed1 ',i will believe1 ,i do believe4' ,it was a blessed season2--a time of the breaking of bonds4--,cousin ,samuel came with a gig1 to convey me to ,sinnington4 ,i found my dear cousin ready to take her flight to a better world2 or as she herself says3 ',gladly would ,i flee away1 ,loosed from earth1 no longer stay4' ,she has given up all1 and is now patiently waiting her dismissal4 ,it is a privilege to sit by the bedside of one thus fully prepared1 and sanctified through the merits of ,christ4 ',glory be to ,god1' she exclaimed1 'though it has cost me many tears for my unfaithfulness1 the ,lord has forgiven me3 yet ,i believe it will lesson that eternal weight of glory ,i might have had4' ,being asked if she had no wish for earth1 she replied1 ',o no1 not one3 ,i have but one wish1 and that is1 to be fully ripe for glory3' and added1 ',i should like to talk to you of the preciousness of ,jesus1 but ,i cannot4' ,while we were alone1 she stretched out her withered arms1 and drew me to her side2 then holding me fast1 she said1 ',let me request of you1 my dear cousin1 that you will stay a little with my sisters when ,i am gone3 it is my dying request4' ,i promised ,i would1 if possible4 ,could ,i do less8 ,she added1 'they have no one to comfort them1 and1 when they are low1 they are very low indeed3 it will relieve my mind if you will4' ,o ,thou1 whose ,i am1 and whom ,i serve1 direct my way4 ,i have said1 place me where ,thou wilt1 only let ,thy providence guide my steps4--,i left my ,william poorly1 and am hoping soon to hear from home3 meanwhile1 ,i am encouraged while bringing them to the throne of grace4 ,thank ,god1 for the privilege of casting my care upon ,him6 ,i feel ,he cares for me4 ,prayer by the side of my afflicted cousin has been a blessing to my soul4 ,surely ,i am privileged3-- ',the chamber1 where the good man meets his fate1 ,is privileged beyond the common walk ,of virtuous life1 quite on the verge of heaven4' ,this morning1 when asked how she was1 she replied1 ',this has been a precious night2 the ,lord has promised me1 ,he will be with me to the end4' ,her cough was very troublesome1 but she said1 ',i feel no disposition to murmur1 but ,i cannot help moaning4 ,the ,lord is very precious4' ,part of the day she lay greatly composed1 with her hands clasped4 ,on entering the room she accosted me with3 ',i am hard toiling to make the blest shore4 ,i have been much harassed by the enemy1 who tells me ,i shall be cast away2 but ,i rest on the blood and righteousness of ,christ3 ,i have nothing else to trust in4' ,after a severe fit of coughing she said1 ',the toil of life will there be o'er3' and again1 ',thankful ,i take the cup from ,thee1' c4 ,in the afternoon ,i visited old ,martha ,h41 whom ,i found in a happy1 and thankful frame of mind2 all her cry is1 ',bless the ,lord6 bless the ,lord6' ,so1 at both ends of the village1 ,god is fitting up ,his jewels4 ,i walked on to the churchyard1 and there found as many of my old acquaintances1 as are now living in the village4 ,i felt the solemn influence of association with the dead4--,hearing of a poor afflicted sinner1 ,i went to see him2 he appeared to welcome my visit1 but insensible to his condition4 ,during the night ,i could not sleep1 but got upon my knees1 and earnestly besought the ,lord to give me a clear witness of ,his sanctifying power4 ,he blessed me with a humble1 settled confidence1 and sweet peace4--,cousin had a restless night2 the enemy was again permitted to try her sorely2 but during the day1 she was enabled to tread him down under her feet4 ',i'll trust ,him with my all1' she said1 ',i'll trust ,him with my all4'--,the poor man above-mentioned1 sent for me1 apparently in an agony for the salvation of his soul2 but whether it is the fear of death and its consequences1 or sorrow for his sin1 how difficult to determine6 ,i endeavoured to show him that he was a helpless1 undone sinner2 and that all his hope was in the merits of ,christ3 staid with him nearly two hours1 during which he seemed earnestly seeking mercy4 ,i saw him again in the afternoon1 but he was not in such agony4 ,he thinks the ,lord will not cast him off4 ,the thought of the dying thief1 alone1 gives me room to hope4 ,oh6 would'st ,thou1 ,lord1 the veil remove1 ,and manifest ,thy pardoning love4 ,but how8 ,only through ,christ1 wilt ,thou exalt the riches of ,thy mercy by preparing this poor sinner's heart1 and snatching him as a brand from the burning4--,visited the poor man again1 and came home thankful1 that ,i had the opportunity to do it4 ,he now resolves on the side of virtue4 ,oh6 that his decision may be sustained by the strength of the ,lord6--,cousin was oppressed with sickness during the night1 but her cry was2 ',help me to suffer as a ,christian4'--,when ,i asked how she was1 she said1 ',i have had a sweet night-so many precious promises brought to my mind4 ,praise the ,lord2 'to them that believe1 ,he is precious4'--,much worse1 able to say little4 ,in the evening she desired me to pray2 it was truly a blessed season4 ,when ,i rose1 she exclaimed3 ',we'll shout by turns the bursting joy1 ,and all eternity employ ,in songs around the throne6' ',glory be to ,god1 cousin1 we shall2 yes1 we shall4'--,this morning ,i awoke a little before three1 and got upon my knees4 ,he1 who slumbers not1 was present to bless me4 ,at ten ,i accompanied my friends to chapel3 a blessed sermon6 ,i was so much affected while ,mr4 ,c4 was speaking of the ,lord's ability to deliver us from our spiritual foes1 that ,i could do nothing but weep for joy4 ,my enemies seemed all vanquished1 by the revelation which my faith realized of the power of ,god4 ',faith1 mighty faith1 the promise' saw4 ,o may ,i never doubt again4 ,i feel all peace1 and tranquility1 but no particular joy3 ,i perceive myself nothing2 but through the blood of ,jesus1 ,i claim salvation4 ,elizabeth is increasingly weak1 but enjoys great peace4 ,she was unable to turn herself2 but after an ineffectual attempt1 upheld by the power of ,god1 she exclaimed1 ',praise the ,lord6 ,i cannot praise ,him enough3 though ,he slay me1 yet will ,i trust in ,him4' ,this evening ,i overheard1 ',precious ,god1' ',salvation1' ',my ,jesus4' ,then turning her head1 she said1 ',since ,i have been afflicted1 the enemy has tried many ways to take away my shield2 but the ,lord has stood by me1 and ,i believe ,i shall come off more than conqueror4'--,about two o'clock we thought she was dying2 she stretched out her hand to each of us1 and drew us near1 to kiss her2 then shouted as loud as she could1 ',glory be to ,god6 ,i am going to glory2 glory be to ,god6' ,about five she revived again4 ,one said1 ',jesus is near1' she responded1 ',glory1 ,he is1 ,he is'--,i was with her from two in the morning2 she was restless1 and in much pain1 until about nine o'clock2 when she changed for death4 ,conscious that she was dying1 she desired to be placed in a chair1 and shouted with all the strength she had1 indeed louder than we could have supposed her capable of1 ',glory be to ,god6' ',glory be to ,god6' many times1 until her strength was exhausted4 ,she breathed till eleven1 and then1 without moving hand or foot2 without a sigh or a groan2 her happy spirit took its flight to the paradise of ,god4 ,thus died ,elizabeth ,stables1 in the thirty-fifth year of her age4 ,it had been for some time my prayer1 that the ,lord1 if it pleased ,him1 would grant her an easy passage1 and permit her to depart in the day-time4 ,in this ,he has mercifully heard me4 ,before the crisis arrived1 ,i felt a degree of timidity2 and therefore1 when ,i rose from my bed1 ,i bowed myself before the ,lord1 before entering the room4 ,he graciously dispersed my fears1 and filled my heart with peace4 ,to me the scene of dissolution was exceedingly solemn4 ,may my last end be like hers6--,i followed the remains of dear ,elizabeth to the grave1 to which we consigned them 'in sure and certain hope of a joyful resurrection4' ,surely this hope has preserved me from yielding to useless tears1 as on former occasions2--for ,i loved her4 ,henceforth may it be my constant study to be found ready1 that1 like her1 ,i may triumph in the prospect of dissolution4--,visited two or three afflicted persons in the village1 perhaps for the last time3 may ,i find them all again in the day of eternity4 ,took tea with ,mrs4 ,b4 and her daughter1 whom ,i would gladly have persuaded to accept the offers of mercy2 but the grace of ,god alone can affect the heart4--,after an absence of six weeks ,i returned home3 the day was fine4 ,truly mercy follows me4 ,through courtesy to a friend1 ,i wounded my own soul by yielding to converse on subjects1 which no way tended to promote fervency of spirit4 ,i felt humbled in consequence1 and as if ,i could not lift my heart to ,god2 but before the close of the service1 which ,i afterwards attended1 the ,lord graciously softened my hardness down--melting me into tears4--,i close the year fully bent upon giving myself to ,god4 ,while ,i write1 ,i enjoy peace4 ,o ,thou that seest me1 ,thyself unseen1 direct my pen1 and guide me to ,thyself4 ,here on my knees ,i surrender myself to ,thee2 if ,thou discoverest any guile in me1 reveal it to me1 and make me wholly thine4 ,surrounded with ,thy presence1 ,o fill me with ,thy love6 ,from henceforth1 may ,i dwell in the secret place of the most ,high1 and abide under the shadow of the ,almighty4 ,if fleeting moments silently report ,each action1 motive1 and unuttered thought2 ,may this fair page no added witness bring ,of time mis-used1 as musing thought may spring4 ,no1 rather let my muse abstracted turn2 ,forget to muse1 and of my ,saviour learn ,that rare humility1 so highly prized ,by ,him1 who sees the heart all undisguised4 ,from ,him my subject come1 my thought proceed2 ,to ,him my motive tend1 my action lead3 ,in all1 ,i henceforth think1 or speak1 or do1 ,the glory of my ,god be kept in view4 #ahbi4--;,i am permitted to enter another year1 but who can tell the event8 ,suffice it2 ,i can now say1 ,i am ,thine1 and am resolved to form my life1 whether long or short1 by ,thy precepts4 ,this morning an alarm is spread through the city--',the ,minster on fire4' ',shall there be evil in the city1 and the ,lord hath not done it8' ,o ,thou1 who canst alone educe good out of seeming evil send1 forth ,thy light and truth4--,visited ,mrs4 ,f----s1 we had a blessed interview3 ,heaven shed its rays around us4 ,here ,i proved that in ,jesus difference of age is lost3 all ages and sects can in ,him unite4--,the greater part of this day has been spent in reading1 praying1 visiting the sick1 and the public means of grace3 all of which have been sources of profit to my soul4 ,how great are my privileges6 ,i think ,i am stripped of all dependance upon them2 but fear ,i do not make that improvement of them which ,i ought4 ,thankful ,i am for the decision ,i feel2 but stand in doubt of myself1 should a storm of persecution arise1 whether ,i should be able to endure the fiery test4 ,clouds gather round about2 the signs of the times portend a season of trial2 my heart1 while ,i write1 says1 ',i will be ,thine3' but ,thou knowest how unstable ,i am1--,three strangers came to the class2 two of them were much affected4 ,i want to feel more deeply for souls1 and to do every thing with a single eye4 ,i have several times been to visit an afflicted neighbour1 who has often been warned to put away his sins2 but is yet unsaved4 ,never did ,i see friends more solicitous for the conversion of a relative2 his poor afflicted wife prays1 and entreats most earnestly1 with tears3 it has to me been an affecting scene4 ,o may her prayers be answered6--,another week gone2 a week of mercy1 warning1 blessing1 inward exercise1 and peace4 ,on ,tuesday night1 ,i witnessed the deathbed scene of a neighbour3 dying is hard work4 ,at the funeral on ,friday these lines were much impressed upon my mind3-- ',so live1 that1 when thou tak'st thy last long sleep4 ,dying1 may'st smile1 when all around thee weep3' ,i quoted them amongst the friends of the deceased1 and added such words as were given me at the time4 ,there was a deep silence3 what was the impression ,i leave2 ,i only discharged a duty1 and could only reach the ear1 but do ,thou1 whose instrument ,i am1 effectually touch each heart1 and save them all4 ,penelope informs me1 that the poor man ,i visited when in ,sinnington1 has begun to attend the house of ,god4 ,may his good desires end in sound conversion4--,i visited poor ,fanny2 with tears of joy starting in her eyes1 she said1 ',glory be to ,god1 ,i feel my soul so happy1 that ,i would fly if it were possible4' ,truly in this home of poverty1 the power of divine grace is exemplified4 ,i have also seen neighbour ,g4 for the fourth time2 it is delightful to visit her3 she appears fully sensible of her state1 and has received a little comfort2 but not the clear witness of her acceptance4--,in consequence of sickness1 ,i laid a little longer than usual2 but my meditations were sweet4 ,for a time my mind was borne as on eagles' wings1 far above the things of earth2 ,i seemed to breathe the atmosphere of heaven1 and to commune with ,jesus in heavenly places3 this baptism delightfully sustained my mind through the trials of the day4--,probably this is the last ,sabbath of my residence in ,york4 ,some think we are missing the path of providence3 ,i do not know2 but this ,i can say1 ,i am willing to stay1 or willing to go1 and earnestly desire1 that the will of ,god may be done in me and by me1 whether in public or retirement4 ,in silence1 lo6 ,i sit ,to hear ,thy gentle voice2 ,and lowly at ,thy feet1 ,share ,mary's nappy choice3 ,speak as ,thou wilt1 but speak within1 ,and make my nature wholly clean4 ,this day of hallowed joy1 ,the day the ,lord arose1 ,thy glorious power employ1 ,and vanquish all my foes2 ,to me the power of faith impart1 ,and reign triumphant in my heart4 ,another week has elapsed1 and we are still in ,york4 ,o ,lord1 direct our path1 and guide us by ,thy counsel4 ,i would leave all in ,thy hands3 ,i think ,i do4 ,,xii4 ,,country ,,life4 ,,come1 ,,my ,,beloved1 ,,let ,,us ,,go ,,out ,,into ,,the ,,field2 ,,let ,,us ,,lodge ,,in ,,the ,,villages4--,cant4 vii4 #aa4 ,in the spring of #ahbi1 ,mr4 ,lyth retired to a country residence1 which he had built upon a small estate1 between three and four miles from the city4 ,the propriety of this step1 as it seemed to involve the sacrifice of many religious advantages1 was by some intimate friends regarded with grave suspicion2 and it may fairly be doubted1 how far a ,christian man1 with the view of enjoying the fruits of his industry1 has a right to withdraw himself and his family from a sphere of usefulness1 and privilege1 to one of comparative retirement4 ,can he be equally useful8 ,will his family enjoy equal privileges8 ,if not let him pause1 for he is under a higher law than that of self-gratification1 or worldly policy3 besides1 his very object may be frustrated2 it may turn out1 that the change from an active to an idle life1 may bring disquiet instead of repose4 ,but in the present instance1 the disadvantage was overcome by the force of christian principle4 ,mrs4 ,lyth did not relinquish her exertions in the city1 while a new sphere of usefulness opened itself in the village1 near which they came to reside4 ,twice a week1 as often as health permitted1 she visited the city to meet her classes2 sometimes walking the whole distance there and back4 ,the day was generally spent in seeing her absent members1 visiting the sick1 or availing herself of public1 or social means of edification4 ,the effect of these exertions upon her own delicate frame1 was painful2 and1 combined with other causes1 occasioned1 during her four years' residence at ,eastfield ,house1 frequent and severe attacks of sickness4 ,but we resume her own notes4 ,i came to ,eastfield ,house1 which is now to be my home during my pilgrimage on earth4 ,thank ,god1 ,i feel ,i am but a stranger and a sojourner4 ,a variety of circumstances have engaged my attention1 and interrupted my quiet2 but when shut in from the world1 to hold converse with ,god1 ,i have tasted superior pleasure4--,i went early to ,york1 and spent the day in seeing the sick1 and other members of my classes2 visiting the school1 attending my band1 and meeting my class4 ,most of these engagements were profitable to me1 and ,i hope to others4 ,i went out with the conviction that ,i was the ,lord's labourer4--,my niece1 ,hannah1 is apparently near eternity4 ,she tells me she is happy1 and ,i cannot doubt it2 for last evening while praying with her1 my faith acquired such strength1 and ,i was so filled with love and confidence1 that when ,i rose from my knees1 ,i could not help saying1 ',the ,lord has blessed you4' ,she answered1 ',yes3' but whether at that moment1 or earlier in the day1 ,i cannot tell4 ,the work is the ,lord's4--,after an affliction1 of some months1 and a fortnight's confinement to bed1 ,hannah has left us4 ,for two days she was insensible1 but the last she was remarkably tranquil1 with a very pleasing expression of countenance4--,my greatest joy is in communion with the ,lord and ,his saints3 this has been a high1 day2 ,i have been unusually assisted in speaking to the ,lord's people2 and many appeared to feel the power of ,god4 ,at the close of the meeting1 ,mrs4 ,b4 called upon me1 and we went to ,mrs4 ,vevers'1 where we united in prayer2 and from thence to ,miss ,h4's1 where we held our little band-meeting1 ,mrs4 ,e4 was much affected1 but not able to lay hold of the great blessing3 ,o for more faith4--,the quarterly fast was observed in ,haxby for the first time3 ,i found it good to unite with them4--,during the last week we have been favoured with the company of ,mr4 ,mortimer1 returned from the ,shetland ,islands4 ,he retains the same ,christian simplicity1 and ,i feel it a privilege to entertain such a man under our roof4 ,i was benefitted among the dear people2 but my body was much wearied when ,i returned home1 and the folio wing day ,i was very unwell3 yet my mind was peaceful4 ,at the entreaty of my husband1 ,i remain at home to-day2 being only very feeble4 ,o shut me not out from ,thy presence2 but feed me with heavenly manna4--,i hail the returning ,sabbath1 ,glory1 glory be to ,god1 the sacred fire is kindled in my heart4 ,well might the ,psalmist say1 ',i would rather be a door-keeper in the house of my ,god1 than dwell in the tents of wickedness' ,the ,lord does carry on ,his work in my soul4 ,love destroys fear4 ,god is my portion1 and in ,him will ,i trust4 ,the week has been mixed with trial and blessing4 ,monday3 ,penelope left us1 after a visit of ten days4 ,tuesday3 ,felt it good while ,mr4 ,crowther admonished us to look to ,jesus4 ,wednesday3 ,our servant left us3 ,i had power to pray for her after she was gone4 ,thursday3 ,the ,lord was with us at our little meeting4 ,friday3 ,i spoke unadvisedly with my tongue1 which occasioned pain of mind2 but applying to ,jesus1 ,i found access4 ,o the condescension of the ,saviour6 ,the prayer-meeting was a blessed season4 ,saturday3 ,a day of toil1 but the ,lord was with me3 yet ,i want a constant mind1 that ,i may every moment hold converse with my ,god4 ',keep thyself pure' was the admonition of the ,spirit one morning this week4 ,may ,i ever remember it4 ,the following was the dying complaint of the ,miscellany1 a little family periodical1 which had a brief1 but happy existence4 ,confident1 on airy wing1 ,my vanity soared high2 ,like the nightingale ,i'd sing1 ,and with the eagle fly4 ,soon my sad mistake ,i found2 ,i warbling notes had none1 ,and scarcely rose above the ground1 ,before my plumes were gone4 ,flatt'ry whispered soft and low1 ,of wisdom1 fame1 and lore2 ,woe is me6 neglected now1 ,the pleasant dream is o'er4 ,pity1 then1 my humble state1 ,and if you can bestow ,tears upon my hapless fate2 ,pray let them freely flow4 ,i have around me some who exercise my patience1 and therefore need the wisdom of the serpent1 and the meekness of the dove1 that ,i may be preserved from offending4 ,last ,sabbath1 ,i was tempted to mistrust ,providence1 as ,i had not seen a rainbow since the rains commenced2 but the following evening--accompanying my husband to ,york in a very heavy shower--on our left1 we saw the broadest and most beautiful bow ,i ever beheld4 ,i could not help thinking it infinite condescension in the great ,i ,,am thus to remove my scruples4--,i walked to ,york alone3 but surrounded by proofs of divine wisdom and power1 my solitude was sweet2 my thoughts meandered like the river1 that swept at my side4 ,reverting to past scenes and circumstances1 ,i wrote with my pencil3 ,if1 through scenes of tribulation1 ,lies the pathway to the skies2 ,let me yield with resignation1 ,sure1 ,thy ways are always wise4 ,a friend has made application for my ,sunday-class4 ,in this matter1 ,i do not see my way clear2 however1 as ,i was requested to seek another place for it--the old one being required for another purpose--,i began to think it was an intimation that ,i ought to resign1 and therefore mentioned the subject to my members1 and left it4 ,but calling on a friend1 as ,i returned home1 she said1 'she was requested to tell me1 that ,mr4 ,h4 would be glad if ,i would meet the class at his house' ,so this difficulty is removed1 and there the matter rests4 ,o ,lord1 direct me by ,thy counsel4--,providence seems to thwart my purposes3 yet everything appears either to point1 urge1 allure1 or draw me to the skies4 ,i find the beneficial effect of these painful dispensations2 but nature struggles still1 and the cry of my heart is1 make me wholly ,thine4 ,two persons1 whom ,i have visited this week1 are no more4 ,one1 ,i doubt not1 is gone to ,abraham's bosom2 the other ,i must leave1 and profit by the admonition to prepare to meet my ,god4 ,i have been accused of doing as ,i would not be done by2 but my conscience bears we witness to the contrary4 ,help me1 ,o ,god1 ever to act as in ,thy sight4--,after the toils of ,saturday1 ,i was privileged with being at the band-meeting2 but when ,i reached ,miss ,b's1 ,i fainted1 through weakness and fatigue4 ,praise the ,lord1 ,o my soul6 ,is not every stroke of ,thy rod a proof of love1 admonishing me that ,i am but a tenant-at-will1 and may be removed at a moment's notice8 ,lord1 make me fully ready4--,i found it good in our little village prayer-meeting1 and remained with my husband at the ,sabbath-school committee4 ,he engaged to assist2 and ,i was constrained to offer my services once a month to converse with the female scholars1 which were readily accepted4--,in ,york1 ,i had the opportunity of visiting several afflicted persons3 one poor man was much afflicted3 it was a blessed day4 ,i have been to ,wigginton to visit the afflicted ,miss ,b41 to whom ,i tried to show the necessity of a change of heart1 and the sufficiency of the remedy1 with the danger of delay4 ,come1 heavenly ,spirit1 fill my breast1 ,with holy1 ardent love inflame2 ,breathe in my soul the perfect rest ,revealed in ,jesus' lovely name4 ,blest centre6 where ,i find repose2 ,my succour1 when in deep distress2 ,the only refuge from my foes2 ,jesus1 ,thy feeblest follower bless4 ,thy constant presence1 ,thine alone ,can satisfy my longing soul2 ,supply the good for which ,i groan2 ,thy presence1 ,lord1 shall make me whole4 ,just as the year closes1 ,i take my pen4 ,how solemn6 unseen by all but ,god6 ,how shall ,i proceed8 ,i am a sinner2 but thou art a ,saviour--my ,saviour6 ,o praise ,god6 unworthy as ,i am1 unprofitable as ,i have been1 ,thy peace fills my heart3 ,i am surrounded with ,god4 ,glory6 glory6 glory6 a worthless worm6 dust and ashes6 a potsherd of the earth6 yet ,jesus died for me4 ,o1 live in me2 fit me for ,thy service1 that ,i may be willing to do or to suffer ,thy will4 ,let me be a whole sacrifice4 ,jesus is near2 ,he is precious2 ,he has my heart3 let the union subsist for ever4 ,never let me leave ,thee more2 but through all the vicissitudes of life1 keep me2 and if ,i am entering upon my last year1 let it be the best of all4 ,let the odours of the celestial world waft upon me1 and invigorate my soul4 #ahcj4--,midnight4 ,the past year has been one of mingled trial1 affliction1 and mercy2 wisely blended to bring me nearer to ,god4 ,i think the end has been answered3 ,i feel looser from the world1 and my will is more fully subdued4 ,this is the ,lord's doing3 blessed be ,his name6 ,i rose early1 and shut myself up in my closet1 and there the ,lord gloriously revealed himself3 it was a blessed day1 especially1 in walking to the city2 and among the dear people4--,another piece of encouragement3 our servant1 who has been brought under serious impressions since she came to us1 was last ,tuesday enabled to believe unto salvation4 ,o may ,i walk as ,god's vicegerent here2 that my husband1 mother1 children1 and servants1 may all be led to give themselves more fully to ,thee4--,our servant man cried aloud for mercy in the chapel4 ,how and where1 shall ,i begin to praise ,thee for ,thy goodness to my family8 ,i am constrained to acknowledge1 that many things1 which appeared to be against me1 are now working for good4 ,every bitter has its sweet1 and every affliction its blessing2 wisely compounded1 to bring me more fully to ,god4 ,last night we had a prayer-meeting in our kitchen3 the spirit of prayer was poured out upon us4 ,one soul obtained peace3 and another remained upon his knees upwards of three hours1 but did not break through2 yet is determined not to rest without the pardoning mercy of ,god3 a third was seeking purity of heart4--,visited ,s4,h41 fast sinking in decline4 ,when asked the state of her mind1 she said1 ',christ is mine1 and ,i am ,his4' ,blessed assurance6 ,i spoke freely with her mother1 whom ,i found unacquainted with true religion4 ,two persons came to seek the ,lord at the prayer-meeting held in our kitchen--one obtained salvation3 truly the ,lord is among us3 a larger number attended than usual4--,we had a numerously attended prayer-meeting1 in which three bore testimony to the saving power of ,christ2 they praised ,god with a glad heart1 and a loud voice3 may they become pillars in ,god's temple4--,many sweet moments have ,i enjoyed1 while engaged in domestic affairs4 ,this morning1 ,i rose to the early prayer-meeting2 all nature seemed to congratulate me1 and the feathered choristers were singing their matin song of praise4 ,my walk to ,york afterwards1 seemed too short1 while musing on the love of ,jesus4--,in the still hour of night ,i have had some blessed seasons2 but my walk is not equal3 ,i want to live a moment at a time1 and all for ,god4 ,another of my members has passed into eternity1 to join the church above4 ,just before she expired1 she exclaimed1 ',what do ,i see8 ,glory4'--,i am not going to meet my class to-day1 my mother is so unwell2 yet ,i feel a struggle as to the path of duty3 but surely in this case duty and affection are one4 ,lord1 ,i aim to please ,thee2 ,o help me for ,thy name's sake4 ,,sitting ,,by ,,my ,,mother4 ,o would'st ,thou1 ,lord1 descend1 ,my mother's heart to cheer2 ,this unbelief to rend1 ,and dissipate her fear3 ,thou glorious ,sun1 unveil the skies2 ,with healing in ,thy wings arise4 ,thy promise1 ,lord1 ,i hold1 ',the evening shall be light1'-- ,the cloud its pinions fold1 ,and vanish out of sight3 ,o ,jesus1 come1 ,thy face display4 ,and eventide is turned to day4 ,proclamation of ,william the #dth4 ,in company with some friends1 ,i climbed to the top of ,clifford's ,tower1 in hope of seeing the procession2 but after waiting more than an hour1 ,i went away disappointed1 and grieved at the loss of my time4 ,let me learn from this1 always to do what ,i believe to be most needful2 for my mind was dissipated1 and ,i failed to recover in the class what ,i had enjoyed in the early hours of the day4 ,o how needful to keep the path of duty1 and retire from the multitude4--,the ,rev4 ,joseph ,agar has dies happily1 at ,portsmouth3 of brain fever4 ,an unusual feeling oppressed my mind on the afternoon of his departure2 why1 ,i know not4--,the ,rev4 ,e4 ,batty took tea with us1 and suggested a method of usefulness1 which has for some time been the subject of my thoughts2 but to choose1 or refuse are ,thine3 ',thy will be done4'--,i walked to ,acomb to visit a friend1 and on the way asked myself1 why ,i should go2 and not being able to answer for myself1 put the case into the hands of ,god1 beseeching him to make my way plain before me2 to bless me1 and make me a blessing4 ,i met with a kind reception--slept well--and rose about six with a desire to give myself to the ,lord4 ,in the afternoon ,i accompanied ,mrs4 ,r4 to her class3 it was the second time of their meeting4 ,mrs4 ,r4 read the rules2 and afterwards1 ,i endeavoured to speak a little to them4 ,when addressing the third1 she burst into tears through the disquietude of her soul4 ,we knelt down to pray2 and while ,mrs4 ,r4 was pleading1 the woman began to praise ,god for what ,he had done for her soul1 and said she had been unhappy for years--but that now the ,lord had given her peace4 ,we continued on our knees1 and in a little while another person1 who through unwatchfulness had gone astray1 professed that the ,lord had restored her soul4 ,the third 7for there were but three7 went away1 resolved not to rest until she had found the ,lord4--,we went to invite the people to the prayer-meeting in the evening1 and then visited the churchyard4 ,there1 the solemn silence1 dwelling among sepulchral stones and the falling leaves1 moved my soul to the consideration of my own mortality4 ,may ,i so live1 that ,i may hear the welcome words1 ',well done4' ,i feel deeply on account of my own nothingness4 ,the prayer-meeting to-night is proposed because ,i am here4 ,i am humbled at the thought4 ,what am ,i8 a poor worm4 ,oh6 wouldest ,thou use a thing of nought8 prepare the people1 prepare me1 and pour out ,thy holy spirit4 ,i was surprised at the number of people gathered together on so short a notice4 ,the presence of the ,lord overshadowed us1 and the woman1 who was seeking mercy at the class1 was filled with peace and joy through believing4 ,i felt humbled under the sense of my own unprofitableness4--,i have found retirement very blessed3 the ,lord poured into my soul a heavenly tranquility4 ,i hope that my visit here will be beneficial to me2 and that ,i shall learn some lessons from the kind family1 under whose roof ,i stay3 there is such a sweet submission to each other's will1 and such a disposition to prefer others to themselves1 as is amiable1 and worthy of imitation4--,my inward aspiration is1 make me all glorious within1 that from this pure well-spring1 all my thoughts and actions may flow4 ,i enjoy the peace of ,god1 and for some time past1 7to the glory of ,god ,i speak it17 ,i have had constant intercourse with heaven4 ,my will is more fully subdued1 and ,i have increasing power to take up my cross2 but the duties of life press upon me1 and ,i am in danger of being overwhelmed with care4 ,i thank ,thee1 ,o my heavenly ,father1 for this discovery2 and humbly but confidently1 ask ,thy protection from my foe4--,a day of unusual nearness to ,god3--in the ,lord's house2 in visiting the poor2 reading the rules of society2 and social prayer3 although dissatisfied with my performances1 ,i feel ,i have done what ,i ought4--,my spiritual strength has been increased by more frequently engaging in secret prayer4 ,by appointment1 ,i have daily met two friends at the throne of grace1 to intercede on behalf of our neighbours3 this has been made a blessing to my own soul4--,for the first time1 my whole family was assembled at ,eastfield2 but who can tell the emotions of my mind1 as ,i gazed on one and another8 ,i thought unutterable things2 but wisely is the future hidden from our view4 ,o my ,god1 be ,thou their ,god4 ,i feel the solemnity of the closing year3 its toils and cares are fled for ever2 only its comforts will be repeated1 if ,i hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life4 ,,near ,,midnight4 ,the year ebbs apace1 ,its sorrows are gone6 ,like one in a race1 ,its course it hath1 run3 ,its events1 once important1 now all disappear1 ,and time wafts us on to another new year4 ,then let us begin1 ,to aim at the prize2 ,leave earth1 self1 and sin1 ,for our home in the skies3 ,expecting the ,bridegroom will shortly appear1 ,let as watch his arrival--the coming new year4 ,,xiii4 ,,the ,,redemption ,,of ,,the ,,promise4 ,,be ,,not ,,afraid1 ,,only ,,believe4--,mark v4 #cf4 ,all the promises of ,god are in ,him1 yea2 and in ,him1 amen2 unto the glory of ,god2 then1 why doubt them8 since ,god's own honour1 and faithfulness1 which are dearer to ,him than aught beside1 are concerned in their fulfilment4 ,the christian believer has nothing to do with the difficulties1 or seeming delay of the accomplishment2 but only with the unfailing word of ,god4 ,if you find the promise1 take it1 hold it fast2 and1 according to thy faith1 it shall be done unto thee4 ,mrs4 ,lyth believed the word of ,god2 and when a promise was applied to her mind1 she did not lose sight of it2 but patiently waited until it was redeemed4 ,more than one instance occurs in her journal1 in which she refers back to some promise1 which she had previously received2 and the fulfilment of which1 she was expecting4 ,this was particularly the case with reference to her mother's experience1 who1 though not forsaken1 passed her latter days in mourning1 being pressed down by constant affliction1 and the weight of years4 ,mrs4 ,lyth felt acutely on this account2 but1 the promise given in answer to prayer1 ,at evening time it shall be light1 was held fast1 through a period of five years4 ,the period of its redemption was at hand4 #ahca4--',let ,thy statutes be my delight in the house of my pilgrimage4' ,as my journey shortens1 may the assurance of a happy reception at the end1 increase3 ,i think it does4 ,i have a blessed conviction that1 through the merits of my ,redeemer1 ,i shall see ,him without a veil between4 ,this hope makes my spirit rejoice1 when nothing external excites me4 ,musing on my way to the city1 upon the 'charity' that 'never faileth1' and its many excellent attributes2 ,i found myself deficient in that1 which 'thinketh no evil4' ,under some circumstances1 ,i am apt to draw hasty conclusions4 ,o forgive1 and help ,thy dust to be more guarded4--,a friend calling in1 ,i took up my cross1 7for it was one17 to go to the prayer-meeting2 the night being dark1 the roads dirty1 and the place distant3 but ,i was well repaid4 ,a goodly number were present1 and the ,lord was there4--,my husband was at ,york with the gig4 ,mr4 ,h4 called to inform us1 that in consequence of the wind1 and drifted snow1 he thought it would be impossible for him to return home4 ,concerned for his safety1 ,i sent a man and horse to meet him1 and betook myself to prayer2 which the ,lord condescended to hear1 and answer3 for after my husband had forced his way through many snow-drifts1 the harness broke1 just as the man met him2 and he could not have proceeded further without assistance3 so in the time of need there was help4 ,i could not but regard it as providential1 that ,mr4 ,h4 called2 and also that the man arrived at the moment he was required4 ,my obligations to the ,lord increase daily4--,the twenty-fifth anniversary of my wedding day4 ,,then1 my husband tells me1 the bloom of the rose sat on my cheek2 ,,now1 ,i am shrinking into an old woman1 hair grey1 teeth gone1 bloom faded1 and my eyes dim3 but1 through the mercy of ,god1 though my outward tabernacle is thus sinking in decay1 my spiritual strength is daily renewed2 the vigour of my mind is not abated2 my understanding is clearer1 and my faith stronger than ever4 ,and though1 by the light that shines upon my soul1 ,i discover more of my natural depravity2 the ,lord1 by his ,spirit1 graciously draws me to himself1 the true remedy2 and blesses me with a sense of his presence4 ,glory be to ,his name for an interest in the blood of sprinkling4 ,here is the source of my happiness1 and all ,i want is here4 ,,then--,i had a father and mother who loved and cared for me3 ,,now--my father is gone to his reward1 and my mother is sunk in decrepitude1 daily waiting her release2 and ,i1 myself a mother1 have resting upon me the care and anxiety of a family2 but ,i have inherited the promise1 which descends from generation to generation4 ,,then--,i looked forward to what might be my future portion3 ,,now--,i look back through five and twenty years1 in which goodness and mercy have followed me until now2 although my passage through the wilderness has all along been marked with unfaithfulness4 ,here my heart fills with gratitude4 ,what shall ,i render to the ,lord for all his goodness towards me8 ,,then--,i had many friends1 who are ,,now passed away2 but ,jesus is my never-failing ,friend1 and through ,his grace1 ,i hope soon to meet again those1 who 'through faith and patience have inherited the promises4' ,,then--,i had much to endure and suffer2 but ,,now--five and twenty years of trial and suffering are over1 with only one regret1 that ,i have not suffered more patiently1 and expected more largely from ,him1 who orders all things for the best4 ,what still awaits me is only known to ,thee2 but prepare me for the event1 and let ,thy will be done4 ,this is my heart's desire1 uttered ,i believe1 in the spirit of resignation2 but it is ,thy doing1 and to ,thee be all the glory4 ,and now1 ,i present to ,thee my dear husband1 and my five children3 let us all be ,thine--,thine to guide1 ,thine to save1 ,thine to govern1 and ,thine to crown4 ,seven years ago my dear father entered into rest4 ,this day1 replete with memories dear1 ,the well-known image brings to view ,of him1 whose name ,i still revere2 ,whose worth till lost1 ,i never knew4 ,my father1 7still the name is sweet67 ,now in a fairer region dwells3 ,him gladly will ,i go to meet1 ,though wild between us ,jordan swells4 ,my dear mother continues very feeble1 and much of my time1 night and day1 is devoted to her4 ,she suffers from manifold temptations2 yet ,i am encouraged to believe she will be delivered4 ,make no long tarrying1 ,o my ,god1--,yesterday and to-day ,i have been severely and painfully exercised on account of my mother3 still ,i hang upon the word of the promise1 ',in the eventide it shall be light4 ,yesterday she said1 ',the will of the ,lord be done4'--,she tells me this morning she enjoys peace4 ,her memory is much impaired4 ,my mind is much distressed1 but finds its rest in ,god4 ,it seems1 as if by diversity of trial1 the ,lord wills to purge my affections4 ,o let ,thy will be done4 ,help me1 however nature rebels1 fully to give up my own will4 ,blessed be ,god1 my soul enjoys peace4 ',i trust in ,him1 who stands between the ,father's wrath and me4' ,my dear mother's weakness increases2 but she says this morning1 she dare not doubt of going to heaven4--,i sat up with my dear mother4 ,about half-past twelve she was convulsed1 and felt sick2 then1 she dosed a little2 then sick again1--called for ,richard1--wandered1--evidently changed for death1 and had a severe struggle1 often saying1 ',do help me1 do4' ,her sufferings were acute4 ,once she said1 ',lord1 help me2' and again1 ',hope thou in ,god1 for ,i shall yet pr----2' but the words were interrupted by her sufferings1 ,my anguish of mind is known to ,thee4 ,as ,i stood by the fire the words were suggested1 ',thy warfare's past1 thy mourning's o'er2 ,look up1 for thou shalt weep no more4' ,i was comforted4 ,my dear husband1 cousin1 and ,mary1 found great consolation in prayer just before her departure4 ,her last words were1 ',pray1 pray2' ',lord1 ,lord4' ,thus1 about half-past one on the #bcrd of ,march1 my dear mother 'fell asleep1' aged seventy-two years and three weeks4 ,and though in ruin now her body lies1 ,a peaceful smile upon her face is spread3 ,the struggle o'er--her spirit upward flies1 ,to join the spirits of the blessed dead4 ,my dear departed mother was interred in ,st4 ,lawrence churchyard1 by the side of my beloved father2 leaving the impressive admonition--'prepare to follow4' ,i feel it--my heart determines--my will submits--,i have set about it4 ,lord help me to persevere4 ,,look ,,upward4 ,oh6 how uncertain all below6 ,our comforts cause us pain2 ,smiling1 they sting us as they go1 ,ne'er to return again4 ,then upward turn thy weeping eye2 ,nor1 like yon drooping tree1 ,bend downward to the earth2 on high ,see ,jesus looks on thee4 ,jesus6 what balm is in that sound6 ,it bids our tears away2 ,spreads life and happiness around2 ,converts the night to day4 ,to feel ,thy dying love1 be mine2 ,to hear ,thy charming voice2 ,the ceaseless whisper1 ',i am ,thine1' ,shall bid my heart rejoice4 ,dearer than sons or daughters2 ,thou2 ,dearer than mother's love2 ,gladly for ,thee ,i all forego1 ,and seek my bliss above4 ,i went to ,wigginton to visit a young woman1 whom ,i found praising ,god for having afflicted her1 and brought her to the knowledge of the truth4 ,to some others1 ,i was powerfully constrained to speak respecting their souls4--,miss ,bentley came for a few days4 ,we visited many of the villagers1 to put them in mind to prepare for eternity4--,mr4 ,hope announced from the pulpit1 that it was his wish ,i should commence a class in ,haxby on ,monday evening1 at seven o'clock4 ,the words occurred to me1 ',by whom shall ,jacob arise1 for he is small8' ,o my ,god1 to ,thee my obligations are great1 and my weaknesses are all known2 but if this is from ,thee1 bring it to pass2 let there be some token for good1 some rending of heart among the people4--,according to appointment ,i went to ,haxby1 to meet any who were desirous of fleeing from the wrath to come4 ,three persons came2 two of them backsliders1 and one who has never met before4--,visited several of the villagers4 ,at one place ,i felt much while bowed at the throne of grace4 ,a little boy1 to whom ,i afterwards addressed a few words1 burst into tears4 ,o that the ,lord would poor out ,his ,spirit1 and bow their hearts to ,his sway6 ,o ,lord1 let not my unfaithfulness hinder ,thy work4--,after meeting my class in the city1 ,i went on to ,heslington to see ,mr4 ,k41 who is apparently on his death-bed4 ,i endeavoured to speak faithfully2 but unless the ,spirit of ,god apply the truth1 vain is the help of man4 ,i feel much out of love with myself4--,walked again to see ,mr4 ,k41 who appears as teachable as a little child4 ,i feel encouraged to hope that he will lay hold upon ,jesus4 ,but ,o how dangerous to delay until death stares us in the face6--,went to ,haxby1 and found only one to meet me there3 but the ,lord met her1 which was better than numbers without ,him4 ,o ,god1 keep this precious soul--this asked-for token of ,thy love4 ,while sitting under the word1 the ,lord made it as a broad river to my soul4 ',blessed are the pure in heart1' was the subject4 ,tears of love and gratitude rolled down my cheeks1 and love filled my heart2 for ,i felt myself a partaker of this great salvation4 ,thus may ,i ever live1 ,and feel the power divine2 ,taught by ,thy ,spirit to believe ,this full salvation mine4 ,with a painful headache ,i walked to ,york2 but the satisfaction of mind ,i felt in keeping the path of duty1 amply repaid me4 ,i think a general blessing was experienced4--,while pleading with ,god1 these words were applied1 ',i am ,thy salvation4' ,i felt confidence1 but not all ,i want4 ,i seem only on the edge of living2 ,i want to be 'plunged in the ,godhead's deepest sea4'--,six months since my dear mother departed6 ,she is daily the subject of my thoughts1 and her memory becomes increasingly dear to me4 ,well1 it is but a short separation--a thin partition2 my earthly tabernacle feels the force of time--it crumbles and decays2 but by faith ,i look for a more durable habitation1 where ,i shall meet those who are gone before4 ,time rolls away--yet fresh the scene appears ,when my dear mother left this vale of tears2 ,then1 sorrow stamped its seal upon my heart2 ,nature recoiled--but grace relieved the smart4 ,mr4 ,r41 discoursing on the necessity of exercising a forgiving spirit1 illustrated his subject by the following anecdote3--,an officer in the army lying on his deathbed1 sent for one of the preachers to visit him4 ,on his entering the room1 the sick man asked him1 if he remembered that he was once insulted by a company of officers while he was preaching in ,dublin4 ,the preacher remembered it well4 ,he then told him1 that he had been one of the worst of them2 and had sent to ask him to pray for him1 and to teach him what he must do to be saved1--as he believed he was a dying man1 and was unprepared for another world4 ,the minister pointed him to the ,saviour2 and after praying with him several times1 was about to depart1 when the officer offered him a handsome present for his services4 ,this he refused1 and took his leave4 ,on passing through the hall1 one of the servants accosted him1 ,what a pity my master won't see his son1 and has cut him off with a shilling1 although he would gladly see his father4 ,the minister immediately returned to the sick man1 and repeated to him the ,lord's prayer until he came to the words1 'as we forgive them that trespass against us2' he then stopped1 and asked him if he forgave every one4 ,the officer paused a moment and replied1 ',there is one whom ,i do not forgive1 and cannot4' ',then1' said the minister1 'neither will your heavenly ,father forgive you your trespasses4' ,after some deliberation1 it was agreed that the son should be sent for4 ,he came1 fell on his knees at the bedside1 and with tears in his eyes1 pressed his father's hand to his lips1 and begged his forgiveness4 ,the father's relentings were kindled3 upon which the minister sung-- ',the op'ning heavens around me shine1 ,with beams of sacred bliss2 ,when-- ',when6' cried the officer1 'nay ,now1 ,jesus shows ,his mercy mine4 ,and whispers ,i am ,his4' ,called upon ,mr4 and ,miss ,k4 ,they had company3 ,i was preserved from unprofitable conversation1 and dared to speak for ,god4 ,on my return1 ,i passed through the churchyard1 where the remains of my dear parents are deposited4 ,it was a beautiful moonlight night2 and ,i stopped to shed a silent tear over the much-loved dust1 in hope of joining them again in the realms above4 ,lord1 help me on my way4--,i went to see a backslider1 whom the ,lord had made willing to return4 ,after conversing a little1 we knelt down to prayer4 ,her husband prayed2 then she began1 and while confessing her sins and pleading for mercy1 the ,lord looked upon her in compassion1 and healed her backslidings4 ,the same afternoon1 she came and joined herself with the people of ,god4 ,alone in the room where my venerated mother breathed her last4 ,though no famed eulogy proclaims her worth1 ,nor with her fellow-pilgrims ranked on earth1 ,a higher record doth her history trace2 ,in heaven's high register she claims a place4 ,retiring1 and unknown or but to few1 ,her latter days were hid from public view2 ,but ,i have often witness'd1 when alone-- ,the prayer uplifted1 and the sigh unknown4 ,when no eye saw her1 but with ,god shut in1 ,she pour'd her plaint to ,him1 who saw1 unseen2 ,then from the sacred word she succour drew1 ',to hoary hairs ,i bear1 ,i carry you4' ,this promise still her drooping spirit cheered1 ,and shed its starlight when the night appeared4 ,bold1 in her weakness1 close the foe pursued1 ,and oft the bitter conflict was renewed2 ,conqu'ror at last1 she calmly soared away1 ,and left a smile upon the passive clay4 ,i heard ,mr4 ,dawson1 from ',peter followed afar off'--a season1 ,i hope1 never to be forgotten2 for then ,richard made up his mind to accept the invitation1 and 'come near1' as ,mr4 ,d4 expressed it4 ,this to me is matter of joy and thanksgiving2 for since ,i knew that ,mr4 ,d4 was coming1 it has been my prayer1 that his visit might be made a blessing to some1 not particularly thinking of my son4 ,thus1 beyond my expectation1 has the ,lord condescended to my prayer4 ,,after ,a ,,fit ,,of ,,sickness4 ,while thousands in ,thy courts are found1 ,waiting on bended knee2 ,behold1 in solitude1 a worm1 ,that dares approach to ,thee1 ,to me the heavenly gift impart1 ,thy ,holy ,spirit send2 ,to fill and sanctify my heart1 ,and bid its wand'rings end4 ,then health or sickness let me share1 ,as wills eternal love2 ,for all is well1 if ,thou art near1 ,thy creature to approve4 ,my grateful thanks for ease ,i bring1 ,and every comfort given2 ,nor less for sorrows1 sent to wing ,my grov'lling soul to heaven4 ,great ,god6 to ,thee my wishes flow1 ,who dost my life prolong2 ,thy witness let me live below1 ,thy statutes be my song4 ,ere the day broke1 the ,lord broke in upon my soul with the words1 ',thy sun shall no more go down1 nor ,thy moon withdraw itself1 for the ,lord shall be thy everlasting light1 and the days of thy mourning shall be ended4' ,such light shone upon the whole chapter1 as filled my soul with gratitude for the rich promises given to the people of ,god4--,called to see a man and his wife1 both sick1 to whom the ,lord has blessed affliction4 ,the man was rejoicing in the ,lord1 and the woman is resolved not to rest short of salvation4 ,while we united in prayer she received some encouragement4 ,,xiv4 ,,power ,,with ,,god4 ,,for ,,when ,i ,,am ,,weak1 ,,then ,,am ,i ,,strong4--#b ,cor4 xii4 #aj4 ,do you ever receive answers to your prayers8 ,we do not speak to those1 who look upon prayer simply as an act of homage done to a superior being2 they do not expect any3 but to those1 who believe that prayer has power with ,god4 ,why are so many prayers ineffectual1 even of those who really expect an answer8 ,some lack earnestness2 they are too diffusive1 like the letter of the young maiden1 in which she asks a hundred questions1 which are forgotten as soon as she has attached the seal4 ,others want warmth2 they are too formal1 like a petition to a sovereign2 which may1 or may not1 receive a gracious and condescending reply4 ,others are importunate1 and earnest enough1 like the beggar's appeal for relief1 but without much hope of success4 ,but how few1 like the cry of a child1 who runs to his father with his one1 for the moment1 all-absorbing request1 never dreaming of a refusal1 and importunately urged till he succeeds4 ,yet such is the spirit of filial affection and confidence we are privileged to use before ,god4 ,for ,this is the confidence we have in ,him2 that if we ask any thing according to ,his will1 ,he heareth us2 and if we know that ,he hear us1 whatsoever we ask1 we know that we have the petitions1 that we desired of ,him4 ,mrs4 ,lyth's distinguishing feature1 was her love of prayer4 ,it was1 to use her own words1 the life of her soul1 her delight1 her greatest joy2 and her practice bore out the truth and sincerity of her words4 ,besides her own stated hours of private devotion1 which were frequent1 it was her practice for many years to conduct family worship three times a-day4 ,but beyond this1 innumerable occasions presented themselves1 which stimulated her thirsting soul4 ,the call of a friend1 or the arrival of a letter2 the prospect of a journey1 or a safe return3 the recollection of a promise1 or the reception of a blessing2 a wakeful night1 or a sunny day2 in a word1 whatever strongly impressed her spirit as a subject of thanksgiving1 or an object of desire1 was to her the signal for prayer4 ,and not unfrequently1 engagements were entered into with her intimate friends1 to offer at given times1 special intercessions for particular objects2 engagements1 which were faithfully fulfilled4 ,this ceaseless spirit of prayer was the source of strength2 for1 though naturally of a timid and retiring disposition1 ,as a prince she had power with ,god and man1 and prevailed4 ,these remarks1 a careful reader will find fully sustained by her own journal4 #ahcb4--,sent a letter to ,m4,w4,o may it be blest to her6 ,m4,w4 was at the class1 and seemed thankful for the admonition4--,i went to the village on the ,lord's errand1 praying ,he would make my going prosperous2 ,he graciously inclined one friend to accompany me to ,mr4 ,b4's class--,i am encouraged to hope there is a work of grace upon her heart3 ,o that it may prove lasting6 ,in visiting one of my members1 ,i found there was no family-prayer4 ,we prayed together1 and on her knees she appeared deeply to mourn her neglect1 and promised the ,lord to do better4 ,in two or three other little visits1 ,i found the ,lord among ,his people4--,had a precious interview with ,mrs4 ,benjamin ,a43 our souls were melted before the ,lord4 ,o how the world was eclipsed1 while our full hearts were aspiring after ,god6 ,i feel the effect still4--,how like a dream is life6 we view the scene1 and ere we are aware1 it is gone for ever2 but to every moment is attached the importance of eternity4 ,after a sharp fit of sickness1 how sweet is ease6 yet these seasons are blessed to me1 inasmuch as they lead me to look more closely into scripture declarations1 respecting the blessings associated with patient endurance4 ,my soul seeks shelter in the secret place of the ,most ,high4--,heard a faithful sermon from ,mr4 ,r43 ,i always profit under heart-searching sermons1 as they discover the secret lurkings of nature4 ,i feel the importance of endeavouring to enlarge the powers of my mind1 since ,i am accountable to ,god for their improvement4 ,i regret1 that ,i have spent so much time to such little purpose4 ,whither shall ,i go8 ,to whom shall ,i flee8 ,my heart says1 ',mould as thou wilt thy passive clay2' prepare my work1 and by ,thy grace helping me1 ,i will put my neck under ,thy yoke4 ,give me ,thy abiding ,spirit1 that in my age ,i may bring forth fruit to ,thy glory2 enlarge and fertilize the powers of my mind2 and teach me to cultivate the talents ,thou hast given me4 ,to aid my recollection1 ,i here write them down3 time1 health1 powers of mind--as memory1 understanding1 c42 powers of body--as tongue1 hands1 and feet2 money4--,i went to see a dying man1 but was denied4 ,however1 ,i knelt down with his wife1 and several others who were present1 feeling deeply concerned for their souls4--,my body is very feeble1 yet ,i wish to be fully resigned to the will of ,god1 even should ,i be entirely laid aside2 for1--thank ,god1--,i feel no disposition to repine at the dealings of providence4 ,i only regret that ,i have so little improved my health and opportunities1 for my own benefit and the good of my fellow-creatures4--,increasing symptoms of weakness2 but the joy of the ,lord is my strength3 my soul longs after ,him4--,to-day ,i sent a note to the chapel1 to announce that our house would he open for prayer at two o'clock2 earnestly requesting the praying friends to come1 and bring with them any of their neighbours1 who were desirous of fleeing from the wrath to come4 ,at the appointed time nine persons came2 and while we were united in prayer1 ,i enjoyed the softening power4 ,the cheerful breeze1 and sunny ray1 ,pour on the earth the sweets of day2 ,the blushing rose1 and lily vie ,with the carnation's deeper dye2 ,the dappled cloud1 and welkin blue1 ,with lights and shadows ever new1 ,in language loud to me declare1 ,lo6 ,god is here6 and ,god is there6 ,here--in ,his handy work1 ,i see ,his wisdom1 skill1 and majesty2 ,there--,his sublimer glories shine-- ,god over all1 in all1 divine6 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,isaac came4 ,the ravages of disease were painfully evident in him2 and on the following morning while breakfasting with us1 he had another attack of paralysis4 ,so uncertain is all on earth4--,on my return from ,sinnington1 as ,i was sauntering in the streets of ,malton1 expecting to meet my husband1 a person tapped me on the shoulder1 and asked me if ,i was not ,richard ,burdsall's daughter1 and being answered in the affirmative1 pressed me to dine with him4 ,so 'the memory of the just is blessed4' ,i have enjoyed a sweet calm1 and prayerful spirit4 ,acomb4--,visited some of the dear people1 among whom ,i was much encouraged4 ,at the prayer-meeting ,mr4 ,r4 requested me to speak to a person1 whom he believed to be seeking the ,lord4 ,with some reluctance ,i did so4 ,when ,i addressed him1 he said1 ',o ,i am miserable1 there is no mercy for me4' ,i bid him pray2 immediately he began to cry aloud1 and obtained some comfort1 but not confidence4--,had a very profitable interview with ,mrs4 ,c41 and from thence went to the chapel4 ,there the glorious ,lord was as 'broad rivers and streams' to us4 ,i felt the overwhelming power of saving grace4 ,about half-past ten ,i retired to rest2 and while engaged in prayer1 was drawn out on behalf of several friends1 and especially for the young man1 who was so deeply distressed on ,friday evening4 ,thus the ,lord puts us in mind of our fellow-pilgrims1 and teaches us to care for each other4--,this morning the young man sent for ,mr4 ,r41 wishing to see him1 and to inform him of the happy change wrought in his heart by the ,spirit of ,god4 ,mr4 ,r4 being out1 an interview was fixed for the afternoon4 ,he came1 and the rapture he was in exceeded anything ,i ever witnessed4 ,he stated1 that on the preceding night he retired to his own room about ten o'clock2 took his ,bible1 and on his knees at his bedside1 was praying till about eleven4 ,when he came to the last verse1 ',he that believeth on the ,son of ,god hath life1' c41 he resolved within himself1 ,i will believe3 and immediately the power was given him4 ,he rose from his knees 'rejoicing with a joy unspeakable1 and full of glory2' and went down stairs to tell his fellow-servants1 that he had found the pearl of great price1 and how easy it was to believe3 wishing them to share in the blessedness he felt4 ,he added1 ',o praise the ,lord1 ,o my soul6' ',my soul doth magnify the ,lord1 and my spirit rejoiceth ,in ,god my ,saviour6'--,after meeting my class in the city1 ,i started home1 not intending to visit the absent members3 but being deeply pressed in spirit ,i returned1 and calling upon one and another1 found one in deep sorrow4 ,i feel thankful ,i obeyed the inward impulse4--,saw old ,fanny1 laid on the bed of affliction1 and surrounded with poverty2 but praising the ,lord4 ,she said1 ',praise the ,lord1 ,i feel ,him precious6 ,glory be to ,god1 my prospect is as clear as noonday6 ,i can meditate upon ,his goodness1 when ,i am by myself1 in the night season3 yet the enemy tempts me sometimes4'--,during the last week family duties have been privileges4 ,while hearing the word read1 and addressing my heavenly ,father in prayer1 the streams flowing from the ,rock ,christ1 have refreshed my spirit4--,prevented from meeting with the dear people1 ,i betook myself to prayer4 ,here ,i felt humbled1 and melted down while pleading for them1 myself1 and mine4 ,thus to be shut in with ,god is sweet2 but what must it be to enjoy the unclouded glories of ,his presence8--being 'changed from glory to glory4'--,o my ,god1 give me a fuller discovery of ,thyself2 and though outwardly dull of hearing1 let me hear ,thy inward voice continually whisper in my heart1 ',i am ,thy ,god1 ,thy shield1 and ,thy exceeding great reward4' ,i have twice to-day joined with ,his worshipping people1 but in neither case experienced what ,i have felt to-night1 while pouring out my soul before the ,lord4 ,stripped of every plea1 ,i hang upon ,jesus4 ,through ,him alone my succour comes4--,though weak in body1 the morning damp1 and the roads dirty1 ,i got to chapel1 where ,i was amply repaid by a discovery of my obligations to the ,lord1 for having been taken to the house of ,god from the earliest period of my life2 the privilege being continued1 with1 a few intervals of necessary correction1 until now4 ,i felt myself more indebted to ,god1 and more culpable than any present for the little improvement ,i have made of my privileges2 but my heart was melted down in gratitude and love4--,on the verge of the old1 and the threshold of the new year4 ,solemn thought6 perhaps ,i now stand on the verge of eternity6 ,how stands my case in the sight of ,god8 ,on what do ,i build my hope1 and what is my confidence8 ,after close examination ,i can say1 ,i rest on nothing but the atoning merits of ,jesus4 ,i feel ,his mercy now4 #ahcc4 ,again from sickness raised1 to ,thee ,afresh my vows ,i plight2 ,while ,god in everything ,i see1 ,sickness or health is right4 ,thou canst not err2 ',thy will be done1' ,be full submission mine2 ,subjected to ,thy will alone1 ,my will be lost in ,thine4 ,these kind corrections from ,thy hand1 ,shall blessed ordeals prove2 ,to bow me to ,thy mild command1 ,and melt me into love4 ,my soul shall bless ,thee for the past1 ,and rest upon ,thee now2 ,the future--on ,thy promise cast1 ,and wait ,thy will to know4 ,i have been kept at home to-day through indisposition2 but have endeavoured to improve my time to the ,lord by prayer1 the exercise of my memory1 writing1--reading the ,word1 and also ',bickersteth's ,student's ,guide3' but imperfection is stamped upon all ,i do4--,the last night was very tempestuous1 and awoke me from sleep4 ,i got upon my knees and found my security in ,him1 who holds the1 winds in ,his fists4--,i have received letters from my three sons4 ,how pleasant are such communications6 ,how my heart would embrace them all6 and would not ,god embrace us all8 ,yea1 how much more8 ,o my slowness of heart to believe6 ,a friend from the village called2 and conversing on the low state of spiritual feeling among us1 we agreed to make the case known to ,god every forenoon at half-past ten4--,at the appointed hour ,i felt the throne accessible1 and my soul was revived and stirred up3 as to the village1 ,i know not what to say4--,praise ,god1 my soul is happy--happy still4 ,my appointment was brought to my recollection very near the moment3 my own soul was refreshed1 but ,i experienced little feeling for my neighbours4--,half-past ten3 a blessed softening season2 felt the village laid as a burden upon me1 for which ,i had power to plead4 ,these memoranda are continued1 and the voice of intercession was not in vain2 for within a short time1 thirty new members were added to the little village society4 ,,to ,,my ,,mary4 ,why does my ,mary look so sad1 ,and wear a pensive air8 ,where can the antidote be had ,to banish gloomy care8 ,say1 why your spirits sink and droop2 ,will ,jesus not return8 ,arise1 ,he calleth you1 look up2 ,o'er you ,his bowels yearn4 ,no sorrow can the bosom feel1 ,but ,jesus' love can cure2 ,the wounded spirit ,he can heal1 ,the fainting heart assure4 ,the humble1 contrite sinner shares ,his kind1 observing eye2 ,he sees your tears1 ,he hears your prayers1 ,and will regard your cry4 ,arise1 and shake you from the dust1 ,arise1 ',he calleth you2' ,with filial boldness dare to trust1 ,and find ,his promise true4 ,so gloom and sadness shall retreat1 ,and peace and joy return2 ,for while you sit at ,jesus' feet1 ,your heart with love will burn4 ,saw a letter from dear little ,john1 informing his sister that he1 with others of his school-fellows1 has entered the ,methodist ,society4 ,he is just about the same age ,i was1 when ,i received my first ticket2 and from connexion with this people my name has never been erased1 though hundreds of times ,i have not deserved the privilege of membership2 but the people have borne with me1 and more than this1 ,god has borne with me1 even till now4 ,glory be to ,god for ever6--,some struggle through life1 and through successive years1 are tossed on stormy seas2 others more calmly pass their appointed time2 but such as die in infancy1 fly as a bird to its rest1 and are privileged with an early entrance into glory4 ,so happy was ,james ,r41 who careless of all below1 smiled1 and bid the world adieu4--,had an interview with ,mrs4 ,b4,a4 ,we found it good to be at the feet of ,jesus4 ,i told her that ,i thought of resigning my ,sabbath class1 that ,i might turn my attention more fully to the village4 ,we agreed to bring it before the ,lord for a fortnight1 to ask his direction4--,i have written eight copies of ,mr4 ,stoner's ',rules for ,prayer-,meetings4' and given them to our prayer-leaders4 ,at the time of distribution1 a circumstance occurred1 which1 though distinct from them1 yet happening at the same time1 will possibly be connected with them in my future recollections1 and occasion mingled feelings4--,delivered my ,sabbath class-book to ,mrs4 ,a41 who1 in connexion with ,mrs4 ,c41 has kindly relieved me1 for the present1 of a responsibility1 which1 under existing circumstances1 ,i feel it right to decline4 ,acomb4--,accompanied ,mrs4 ,e----n to see several of the friends1 who were sick4 ,called upon ,mr4 ,m41 whose housekeeper died suddenly the night ,i came2 he seemed pleased with1 our visit1 and promised to join the people of ,god4 ,lord1 help him to perform his promise1 by taking possession of his heart4--,i got to the morning prayer-meeting1 and was unusually drawn out in prayer as ,i went1 that the ,lord would he with us and bless us2 and not in vain4 ,it was a blessed season1 and ,i believe others felt it also4 ,o that the ,spirit from on high may be poured out1 that ,satan's kingdom may have a mighty shake this ,whitsuntide6--,i felt it my duty to call upon a neighbour or two1 who1 as ,i am informed1 think themselves insulted by some1 who wished faithfully to discharge their duty1 in a matter of church discipline4 ,i went in the character of a peacemaker1 and after conversing with them on the necessity of seeking a higher state of feeling1 we prayed together1 and felt liberty4 ,o that in good earnest1 they may begin to seek the ,lord6 ,i told them that1 in my poor way1 ,i should remember them4 ,lord1 lay them upon my heart1 that ,i may not forget4 ,to-night my soul is truly happy in ,god4 ,i feel much drawn out in prayer that ,satan's kingdom may fall1 and the religion of ,jesus prevail in this village4--,i felt it unusually sweet to bow before the ,lord in secret1 and bear up my neighbours at ,his throne1 ,i felt ',the speechless awe that dares not move1 ,and all the silent heaven of love4' ,my best seasons have been in retirement4 ,called upon some of my sick neighbours1 and aimed to please ,god in all my visits4 ,o ,lord1 follow with ,thy blessing my weak efforts6 ,quicken the lukewarm1 and pardon the guilty4 ,i was glad to see some new faces at the evening preaching4--,met with my friends in band1 and proposed meeting every day at two clock1 to entreat the ,lord to deepen ,his work in our souls2 and especially1 to hear us on behalf of our friends4--,my soul was blessed1 while bowed before the ,lord with my little ,john4 ,surely the ,spirit of prayer was poured upon us4--,went to ,j4,s4 to tell him of his faults1 which1 ,i am sorry to find by his own confession1 supply just ground for censure1 though exaggerated by report4 ,yet ,i did not feel that sweet ,christian pity1 which ,i have felt to others in similar circumstances4 ,o for that yearning charity1 that endeavours to draw out of ,satan's snare the souls entangled by him6--,called to see my much esteemed friend1 ,miss ,c41 who is sinking through decay of nature4 ,she says1 ',i look for the accomplishment of the promise now2' and speaking of the ,lord's ,supper1 she said1 ',i do not think any particular preparation is necessary2 because1 if we do not always live ready to communicate1 we are not living as we ought4' ,when prayer was proposed1 she said1 ',pray that ,i may have increase of faith1 patience1 and resignation4'--,i addressed a note to ,richard on the subject of salvation1 and placed it where he might find it accidentally4 ,asked ,mrs4 ,r4 to let me have a prayer-meeting in her house on ,sabbath afternoon2 she readily consented4 ,o that ,god would meet us there6--,with a feeble body1 ,i set forward to the prayer-meeting2 inviting as ,i went some1 who seldom attend4 ,met with one whom ,i had never seen before1 who seems desirous of salvation1 and was glad to accompany me4 ,there the ,lord met with us4 ,one soul was made truly happy1 and another rejoiced in the ,lord1 having received good the week before4 ,it was indeed a blessed season2 but my poor body was pressed down with pain1 which rendered it necessary for me to lie in bed till ,monday evening4--,the two who have lately found peace1 came to our house2 we conversed1 prayed with them1 read the rules1 and gave them each a copy4 ,o bless my feeble efforts6--,in answer to prayer1 ,i awoke at five o'clock and arose1 and though my body is weak1 my spirit is alive4--,i am this day going to attempt the formation of a new class1 having secured a place in the village to meet in4 ,i leave the result with the ,lord1 who knows my heart1 and the hearts of the people4 ,empty me of self1 and if ,thou canst1 use me for ,thy glory1 and give me a proof that ,i am not going a warfare at my own charge4 ,visiting some of the villagers1 ,i felt that ,i was on the ,lord's errand1 and think ,i lost sight of self4 ,o might it never more steal in6 ,at half-past three1 ,i went to friends ,r41 who have kindly offered a room to meet in1 and have also given in their names to meet with us4 ,the two young women1 who have lately witnessed a good confession1 also joined with us1 making four in all4 ,o write each name in heaven6--,this evening thirty new members were admitted on trial4 ,what a privilege to be numbered with ,god's people6 ,but when ,i remember that the ,lord is a wall of fire round about them1 ,i wonder that ,i am not more in earnest4--,i found the throne easy of access4 ,i believe the influence in our little meeting was general4 ,what enjoyment has the world to equal communion with ,god8--,increased communion with ,god4 ,i was at the prayer-meeting in the morning1 and afterwards called upon several persons1 to whom ,i endeavoured to speak faithfully2 but who regards it8 ,lord1 ,i leave my feeble efforts with ,thee4 ,i write1 and why8 because the review of ,god's mercies proves a stimulus2 and often1 while committing to paper the ,lord's dealings with me1 ,his love flames brighter on my heart4 ,,all ,,shall ,,be ,,well4 ,if ,jesus be with me1 when sorrows assail1 ,and floods of affliction against me prevail2 ,his countenance lifted1 my passions shall still1 ,and all shall be well1 while ,i suffer ,his will4 ,if crosses perplex me1 and perils surround1 ,repose in my ,saviour1 my foes shall confound2 ,no weapon shall prosper1 or cause me to fear1 ,but all shall be well1 while ,his presence is here4 ,i repaired to ,mrs4 ,r4's to meet the dear people2 every part of my way seemed doubtful1 but the ,lord was graciously with me4 ,we were eight assembled1 and a blessed influence rested on us4 ,some were earnestly seeking pardon4--,had a deeply interesting interview with ,mrs4 ,b41 who is depressed on account of worldly circumstances1 and wants confidence in ,him1 who has commanded us to cast 'all our care upon ,him4' ,i felt a spirit of sympathy1 and the ,lord poured upon us the spirit of prayer2 our hearts melted1 and our months were filled with arguments4--,prayer has been very sweet to me2 ,i have increased power to rest upon the promises1 and through ,christ to claim them4 ,yet in myself1 ,i discover such a depth of vileness1 that1 when ,i think of the amazing love of ,god to me1 my soul is humbled and adores4 ,tears of gratitude overflow my eyes1 that ,god--the ,god of ,gods1 should condescend to such a worm as ,i4--,by a letter from my ,richard to his father1 ,i am encouraged to believe the ,lord is again working upon his mind4 ,it caused tears of joy to run down my cheeks1 and on our knees we united together to thank the ,lord4 ,may the good be permanent4--,at my own bedside the spirit of prayer was so abundantly given1 that ,i could scarcely cease pleading for my children1 especially ,richard1--,i welcome the return of the ,sabbath4 ,nature1 even at this advanced season of the year1 exhibits an unusual degree of verdure2 and invites me to adore the ,ruler of times and seasons1 who confers such rich and ceaseless blessings on rebellious man1--even upon me1 the most undeserving2 for by divine light ,i see that everything ,i do is defective2 yet1 by simply venturing upon ,christ in prayer and faith1 ,i receive peace and power4 ,i have received a very pleasing communication from ,richard1 describing the anguish of mind through which he has passed on account of sin2 and informing me1 that he has come to the cross and obtained deliverance through believing4 ,he says1 ',whereas ,i was once blind1 now ,i see4' ,on this account my soul rejoices4 ',o for a heart to praise my ,god4' ,our removal to ,york is now fixed to take place in three months 7,god willing74 ,so uncertain is everything upon earth4 ,fix ,thou the bounds of our habitation1 and encamp round about our abode1 and all shall be well4 ,,xv4 ,,the ,,return4 ,,to ,,see ,,thy ,,power ,,and ,,thy ,,glory1 ,,so ,,as ,i ,,have ,,seen ,,thee ,,in ,,the ,,sanctuary4--,psalm lxiii4 #b4 ,of all deprivations1 none is so great1 or as painfully felt by a truly devout soul1 as the loss of religious ordinances4 ,with what deep pathos does the ,psalmist lament his long exile from the scene of solemn rites and holy sacrifice6 ',how amiable are ,thy tabernacles1 ,o ,lord of ,hosts6 ,my soul longeth1 yea1 even fainteth ,for the courts of the ,lord2 ,my heart and my flesh crieth out ,for the living ,god4' ,he envies the birds of the air1 that free and unfettered1 build their nests hard by the temple of his ,god1 while he1 a banished man1 must seek a refuge in the wilderness4 ',yea the sparrow hath found an house1 ,and the swallow a nest for herself1 ,where she may lay her young2 ,even thine altars1 ,o ,lord of ,hosts1 ,my ,king and my ,god4' ,mrs4 ,lyth loved the habitation of the ,lord's house1 and deprecated the prospect of separation from its privileges1 which was rendered extremely probable by her increasing weakness4 ,eastfield ,house was about a mile from the village1 and between three and four from ,york4 ,in case of decided failure of health1 she would not only have been cut off from active usefulness in which she delighted1 but entirely excluded from christian ordinances4 ,with the view of a little relief1 she had already relinquished one of her classes in the city1 and turned her attention more exclusively to the village2 but now there was every likelihood that she must soon give up the other4 ,these circumstances1 with some others of less moment1 determined the propriety of a removal back to ,york4 ,shortly before this took place1 in one of her walks thither1 for the purpose of meeting her class1 a circumstance transpired which is worth relating4 ,she met on the road an odd old man1 whose extraordinary appearance made him1 at that time1 well known in ,york and its vicinity4 ,at one time above the average stature1 he was now bent nearly double with age1 and hobbled along with two sticks4 ,a huge bunch of the old fashioned matches1 attached by a string to his neck1 hung down before him1 and was sufficient sign of his occupation2 while a long white beard1 reaching well nigh to the ground1 completed the singularity of his appearance4 ,this latter appendage was1 however1 conveniently made to take off and on at pleasure4 ,he was fabulously reported to be a hundred and twenty years old2 and there was little doubt that he1 and also his wife who sometimes accompanied him1 were on the eve of celebrating their centenary1 if they had not already done so4 ,when ,mrs4 ,lyth met him1 she was strongly impelled to speak to him on the subject of religion2 but being alone1 and a little timid1 she passed on4 ,when she had proceeded about a hundred yards1 she felt so much pained with the omission of her duty1 that she hastened back1 and faithfully discharged her conscience4 ,we need only add1 that the old man and his wife began to attend the chapel1 and ultimately became members of ,mr4 ,lyth's class4 ,the old man got rid of his beard and his sins together1 and1 about two or three years later1 both died in the hope of eternal life4 #ahcd4--;,able to go to the village4 ,called to see ,mrs4 ,b41 who seems to have a desire to be saved1 but has to contend with great affliction4 ,another proof of the importance of seeking the ,lord in health4 ,poor old ,mrs4 ,l4 is much altered1 and did not recollect me4 ,so mutable and perishing is man4 ,on reviewing the day1 ,i think ,i have been aiming to please ,god2 but my performances are so poor1 that ,i have need to humble myself before ,god4--,i got to see ,mrs4 ,r41 most probably for the last time4 ,she is apparently near the close of life1 and patiently waiting the will of ,god4 ,from thence ,i went to visit ,m4,h4 in the county hospital1 but as dinner came in1 ,i left her to see ,mrs4 ,w41 who is in a precarious state1 and much encumbered with worldly care4 ,here the ,lord gave me power of utterance1 and the spirit of prayer4--,after six days spent at ,acomb1 ,i returned home much out of love with myself4 ,my visit on the whole has been pleasant4 ,with and without my friends1 ,i have visited many of the inhabitants4 ,in some cases ,i have derived profit2 but in others1 ,i have had to take up my cross3 yet ,i have had but one aim--to do1 and get good4--,i went to meet the dear people1 but ,i was so overwhelmed by a dull pain in my head--accompanied with drowsiness1 that ,i thought1 how shall ,i speak to them8 but the ,lord graciously removed the indisposition1 and blest my soul4--,the ,rev4 ,daniel ,isaac departed this life1 after a lingering illness4 ,he preached his last sermon in ,haxby1 and paid his last visit to our house2 but the place that knew him shall know him no more for ever4 ,so will it soon be said of me4--,jesus hath broke the bars of death1 and opened paradise4 ,in visiting1 ,i was much refreshed4 ,tears of contrition rolled down the face of ,mrs4 ,l4 and ,mrs4 ,e4 ,one was added to the little class4 ,all were present1 and ,i felt loath to take leave of them2 but so it must be4 ,thos4 ,y4 will now take charge of them4 ,thus ends my career in ,haxby4 ,and after the toil and trouble of removing1 ,i am now comfortably seated at ,grove ,terrace4 ,to ,thee1 the blessed ,donor of all ,i enjoy1 would ,i render thanks4 ,i have written an address to my ,haxby members4--,the division of my little class seems now to be working well4 ,o ,lord behold and come1 visit this vine2 let its young and tender branches twine round about ,thee2 yea1 let the whole be baptized with the ,holy ,ghost6--,the last moments of this beautiful month 7,may7 will soon have past for ever2 but the record will remain1 when the angel shall stand1 'one foot on the sea and the other on the land1 and swear that time shall be no longer4' ,solemn thought6 ,i feel the importance of it1 and the necessity of being clothed upon1 with the righteousness of ,christ4 ,well1 ,i have got into the stripping-room4 ,o for a full abandonment of self1 a full giving up6 ,praise ,god1 my heart yields1 and distrusting itself1 lays hold of ,jesus by faith4 ,i feel solicitous for the spiritual and temporal welfare of my family1 especially my two eldest sons4 ,my resolve is to cast my care upon ,god4 ,i feel power to leave them in ,his hands1 and believe ,he will work on their behalf4--,i opened my ,bible1 and my eye was caught by the words1 ',can ,god furnish a table in the wilderness8 ,behold ,he smote the rock1 that the waters gushed out1 and the streams overflowed4 ,can ,he give bread8 ,can ,he provide flesh for ,his people8' ,it appeared a broad answer to a conversation we had the night preceding4 ,i was encouraged to lay hold on it4--,only indisposed1 but made myself worse by going to the leaders' meeting1 as it came on rain4 ,in this1 ,o ,lord1 forgive my rashness1 for such it was1 another having kindly offered to go for me4--,quite laid aside with sickness and pain1 yet saved from murmuring1 and just patience enough4 ,the ,lord is wise1 and long-suffering in all ,his dealings with me4 ,i have to-day reached my fifty-second year1 and though in the school of affliction1 am patiently watched over by the kindest of instructors4 ,oh6 the unbounded love of my unwearied1 though oft offended ,god6 ,sinnington4 ,it is a week since my husband brought me from ,scarbro' to this place1 where my health is improving1 and my opportunities of retirement are less interrupted4 ,my mind has been more stayed and recollected1 and ,i enjoy greater peace4 ,i am learning to come direct to ,jesus1 who is ready to hear the cry of those1 who need ,his help4 ,being secluded from the world1 ,i want to secure some advantage1 that will appear in after time4 ,i am reading ,mr4 ,watson's ,life1 some parts of which ,i find profitable4--,in consequence of pain in my head1 it has been thought advisable to call in a physician2 but ,i would not trust in man1 nor make flesh my arm2 nevertheless it is right to use the means1 and ,god can give ,his blessing4 ,since my return from the country1 many cares and exercises have been my portion2 but1 knowing they are the appointments of my heavenly ,father1 it is in my heart to pray1 ',thy will be done4'--,my two friends1 ,b4 and ,r41 who enjoy great nearness to ,god1 came to join with me in interceding for my dear family1 three of whom are about to leave home1 and go into the world4 ,they were in a blessed frame of mind4--,my ,mary gave her hand to ,mr4 ,jackson4 ,the night previous1 pressed with the solicitude of a mother1 my sleep departed from me4 ,i was deeply prayerful2 my spiritual feeling increased1 and ,i was truly blessed1 while ,i frequently repeated with my heart the following lines3-- ,jesus1 ,saviour1 condescend ,at this marriage to attend2 ,for ,thyself each heart prepare1 ,grant that all ,thy love may share4 ,come1 thou great expected guest1 ,come1 and enter every breast2 ,lest the subtle foe steal in1 ,screen us with ,thy guardian wing4 7,early in the morning her daughter entered the room1 and begged her to pray for her4 ,she readily consented1 and embracing her1 said1 ',i have been praying for you from retiring until daybreak4'7 ,the morning was propitious2 and while ,mr4 ,c4 read the twelfth of ,romans and prayed1 the presence of the ,lord was among us4--,william started for ,sheffield to seek a new situation1 ,i trust under the care of ,god1 having the night before commended him1 by united prayer1 to the kind ,providence of our heavenly ,father4 ,for many days ,i have enjoyed the soul's calm sunshine2 yet1 ,i feel it is of mercy1 not of works4 ,jesus' blood is all my plea4 ,praise ,god1 who1 through the vicissitudes of this eventful month1 gives me tranquillity of mind4 ,now1 ,i am anticipating the return of ,richard to ,london1 to secure his diploma2 so that three out of four leave the paternal roof this month4 ,with respect to ,richard1 my mind is impressed with far more cheering hopes1 than when he went last year4 ,then1 fallen from his steadfastness1 he was wandering upon the dark mountains2 but now1 returned to the ,lord1 he is sensible of his obligations1 and wishes to make some return4 ,lord make me grateful for this proof of ,thy love1 and make my ,richard a burning and shining luminary1 wise to win souls4--,went to the ,haxby ,missionary ,meeting2 but to me all was disappointment4 ,some who professed much friendship when ,i left them1 looked very cool2 some ,i wished to see1 ,i saw not2 the chapel not full2 no missionary-boxes1 although ,i know of four in the place2 the collection not half the amount of last year2 the speeches did not profit me2 perhaps ,i did not keep the path of duty1 for ,i left my class to be met by another1 and neglected seeing one who expected me4 ,i was grieved with myself2 and1 with a burdened mind1 bowed my knees and poured out my complaints before ,god1 who listened to my cry and sent me help1 melting me down before ,him1 and making me willing to be more obedient in future4--,visited ,mrs4 ,c4 again2 she said1 ',i feel happy4 ,last ,thursday1 after you were here1 ,i pleaded with ,god1 until the words were applied-- ',believe1 and all your sins forgiven1 ,only believe1 and your's is heaven4' ,i thought surely this is for me1 and felt ,i could believe it was2' and then came the words1 'when thou passest through the valley of the shadow of death1 ,i will be with thee2' and ,i believe it4' ,my heart rejoiced with her4--,being indisposed1 ,i commenced a letter to my friends in ,acomb1 when1 just as ,i completed one side1 ,mrs4 ,r4 and little ,charles came in1 and glad ,i was to see them4 ,she told me1 that a friend of her youth who moves in high life1 having been awakened to a sense of her sinful condition1 had sent to her repeatedly for advice4 ,feeling interested for her1 she requested me to unite with her in pleading at the throne of grace2 to which ,i acceded1 knowing that it is not a vain thing to call upon ,god4 ,the appointed times are every ,tuesday1 at half-past nine in the morning1 and half-past nine in the evening4 ,this is recorded to aid my memory4 ,aid us by ,thy ,spirit1 or our efforts will be vain4--,the engagement1 though not at the exact time1 was remembered1 and ,i entered a little into the business4 ,miss ,c4 came to request me to meet a lady at their house1 who is convinced of her lost condition4 ,with some diffidence1 from a sense of my own unfitness1 ,i accompanied her1 and conversed with the lady on the dawn and progress of a work of grace in the heart2 lent her ',fletcher's ,address1' and after ,mrs4 ,c4 and ,i had prayed1 we parted4 ,but knowing the good that is done on the earth1 the ,lord doeth it1 ,i have made it matter of earnest prayer1 for she is much laid upon my mind4 ,this1 ,i believe1 is pleasing to ,god1 and the rather1 as this morning on opening the word of ,god1 ,i saw how ,ezekiel was humbled before the ,lord for the people of ,israel and ,judah4--,being in health1 ,i went forth1 praying for direction and the blessing of ,god4 ,some kind friends gave me twenty-two shillings to help a poor member4 ,this ,i took2 she received it thankfully4 ,visited ,mrs4 ,c41 she is able to rest in ,god4 ,called on ,mr4 ,s41 and left ',fletcher's ,address2' also upon ,mrs4 ,d41 and left a copy of the same4 ,o that the ,spirit may do his office6 ,why do ,i speak thus8 ,he waits to enter3 may they be willing to yield4--,went to ,pocklington to see ,mrs4 ,p4 ,there ,i met with ,e4 ,brookes1 ,esq4 ,his private walk bespeaks him a devoted man4 ,i esteemed it a privilege to lodge under the same roof4 ,my journey has been blest to both body and soul2 having acknowledged ,god1 my way was made plain1 and ,his presence has comforted me4 ,i returned home in ,mr4 ,b4's gig4 ,i had not arrived many minutes1 before ,miss ,h4 came to converse on spiritual things2 ,i thought it providential that ,i came at the time3 but who is sufficient for these things8 ,o bless the dear young disciple6 ,mrs4 ,d4 has received good1 indeed her countenance indicated the change4 ,she told me she purposed commencing family-prayer in the evening3 one mark of genuine conversion4--,i had a very profitable interview with a lady1 who came to converse on divine things4 ,how many opportunities have ,i missed1 which might have thus been employed to advantage4 ',my mouth as in the dust ,i hide4' #ahce4 ,able to meet my class3 seventeen present4 ,a fresh member turned in1 and appeared sensible of her lost condition4 ,my soul felt that painful struggling with the powers of darkness1 which ,i have often experienced when knelt by the side of a seeking sinner4 ,as the people withdrew1 a little girl was waiting for me to go and see her mother1 who is much worse4 ,i found her supported in bed by a neighbour1 the perspiration streaming down her face4 ,she held out her hand to me1 and told me ,christ was precious4 ,by-and-bye a whisper was heard1 ',i'll praise my ,maker while ,i've breath4' ,her voice failed4 ,while ,i prayed1 angels seemed hovering around4 ,i said1 you do not feel any doubt2 she replied1 ',no2 ,i rest upon the promise4' ,she died the next day4--,my mind was deeply impressed with the thought of eternity1 occasioned by the sound of the passing bell4 ,how leaden falls the deep-toned sound6 ,the heart is with its weight oppress'd2 ,a soul has cross'd life's narrow bound1 ,a soul--for ever lost or blest4 ,for ever6 what a word is this6 ,ye careless mortals1 be it known2 ,in everlasting woe or bliss1 ,this word1 for ever6 is your own4 ,momentous thought6 ,i feel it now2 ,this long eternity is mine3 ,my soul shall this duration know1-- ,a quenchless spark of life divine6 ,when ,i retired1 ,i besought the ,lord to awake me1 and give me health to go to the six o'clock prayer-meeting4 ,in this1 ,he condescended to answer me2 but my body inclined to rest4 ,for a moment1 ,i listened2 but my prayer and promise occurred to me1 and durst ,i thus offend the ,lord8 ,i rose1 conferring no longer with flesh and blood1 and was abundantly repaid4 ,the peace of ,god overflowed me as a river1 and while ,i write the effect remains4 ,my soul was much drawn out on behalf of some of my unconverted relatives4 ,a little after we had risen from our knees1 one of them came in1 and ,i seized the opportunity of pressing upon him the necessity of a change of heart4--,the spirit of prayer was given to me in an unusual degree1 especially on behalf of my dear son1 who believes himself called to the work of the ministry1 and has this day engaged to supply the place of one who has gone to his reward4 ,how important6 ,may the ,lord go with him4--,for some time ,i have thought of inviting ,miss ,m4,b4 to class2 but1 not knowing whether she had any concern for salvation1 ,i demurred4 ,still the impression followed me1 and to-day ,i told her of it4 ,the tears started in her eyes1 and she confessed with great frankness1 that she was convinced she must have the peace of ,god to be happy2 but she had never mentioned the subject to any but her mother4 ,surely this impression was from the ,lord1 and in answer to prayer3 for some time since1 her mother and ,i agreed to plead for our children every ,wednesday afternoon4 ,my affections1 divided to every member of my family1 meet in one point at the throne of grace2 where many a time my expectations are raised1 and my soul blessed4 ,to-day my husband takes a class2 may it be made an abundant blessing to his own soul4--,the quarter-day3 much excitement1 lest a rent should be made among us2 my dear christian friends1 ,a4 and ,b41 came to my house to lay the matter before the ,lord1 while the meeting was being held4 ,there1 indeed1 we did pour out our cause2 buffeted1 but much encouraged by the promise1 especially as it was given to two of us1 ',i1 the ,lord1 do keep it2 lest any hurt it1 ,i will keep it night and day4' ,we believed the ,lord would interpose1 and so it was4 ,we were told the case was wonderfully overruled4 ,o the condescension of our merciful ,high ,priest6--,mrs4 ,a4 brought me a sick visiting-book1 which ,i did not refuse3 for although ,i feel my disqualification1 yet am willing to do what ,i can1 only let me have heavenly aid4 ,at twelve at noon1 six of us opened a weekly meeting for intercession3 to me it was a blessed season4 ,i have at times great enlargement1 but abasing views of my own depravity1 with expanded perceptions of the love and power of ,god--great in wisdom1 great in love1 great in holiness1 and yet ,he deigns to visit me4 ',faith1 lends its realising light1 the clouds disperse1' and let a ray of the ,infinite into my soul4 ,thus1 in the midst of many things that are painful1 ,i am comforted4--,have been out to tea against my inclination1 and yet it was among my friends4 ,endeavoured to give a religious tone to the conversation1 but some1 who ought to have come forward1 were silent2 and to others without the least intention ,i fear ,i have given offence4 ,from this cause my mind is troubled2 but on reflection1 think1 ,i ought not to yield to such a feeling1 being conscious that my aim was to do right4 ,to ,thee1 ,oh ,saviour1 will ,i look to overrule 'my every weak1 though good1 design4' ,while ,i write my soul is happy4 ,glory be to ,god4--,i am now enter the last hour of #ahce1 much abased on the review of my own unfaithfulness1 yes earnestly desiring to commence anew1 if permitted a little longer to sojourn on earth4 ,oh6 take possession of my heart1 ,and let it hence ,thy temple be2 ,willing1 ,thou seest me1 now to part ,with all1 that is unlike to ,thee2 ,o let the ,spirit's seal be given ,the earnest of my future heaven6 ,to ,thee1 ,o ,lord1 ,i would present ,my life1 and health1 and talent1 now2 ,let nothing mar the pure intent ,and purpose of my solemn vow2 ,but now the covenant blood apply1 ,my feeble act to ratify4 ,come1 sway the sceptre in my soul1 ,its secret springs adjust and move2 ,model each word1 each thought control1 ,and fill me with the light of love2 ,so shall ,i do ,thy perfect will1 ,as angels1 who ,thy word fulfil4 ,ten minutes past midnight4--,to put me in remembrance1--my two friends at a quarter before two every day4 ,my one friend at three every ,wednesday4 #ahcf4 ,awoke with1 ',reckon yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin1 but alive unto ,god2' and ',be ye not of a doubtful mind4' ,i feel resolved henceforth1 thus 'to reckon4' ,i have been too long dying--not dead1 and dishonouring ,god by 'a doubtful mind4' ,i now enjoy peace1 with a firm determination to keep ,his commandments1 which are not grievous2 but ,i feel my weakness such1 that ,i cannot trust myself4 ,o my ,god1 help me to keep my covenant vows6 ,look high1 look low1 look far and near1 ,changes in every scene appear2 ,the blossom fades1 the day is gone1 ,and night succeeds the morning sun4 ,the clear blue firmament is seen4 ,but gath'ring clouds soon intervene2 ,the sun1 resplendent1 hastes away1 ,to give to other lands the day4 ,the vig'rous youth to manhood grown1 ,becomes a hoary sire anon2 ,the blooming maid becomes a bride1 ,a loving consort by her side1 ,the zenith point of earthly bliss1-- ,but ah6 a changing scene is this3 ,the fairest prospects earth can boast1 ,are poor1 and transient at the most2 ,and closest ties of friendship fail ,to stay the bliss1 we smile to hail4 ,after a fortnight's suffering1 my dear little grandson1 ,edward1 left our dark abode for everlasting day4 ,separation is painful1 but the prospect of eternal happiness brings sweet consolation4 ,a little before death he said1 'kneel down4' ,he was three years and ten months old--a child of much promise--but is now safely transplanted to nourish in a healthier clime4--,death strikes again--the infant1 and only surviving child of my ,eliza1 has escaped to glory4 ,several other afflictive occurrences have been permitted1 ,i am confident for my good3 yet ,i have better health than usual1 and the consolations of my ,god are not withheld4 ,the ,lord can make hard things easy1 and mingle the bitter cup with sweetness4 ,o that ,i could make better returns6--,thirty years ago1 ,i gave myself to my husband with mingled feelings of hope and fear4 ,the words1 'thy ,maker is thy husband1' have been impressed upon my mind4 ,endearing title6 wilt ,thou be ,a husband1 ,o my ,god1 to me8 ,then1 let me never grieve ,thy love1 ,nor ever disobedient prove2 ,watchful ,thy pleasure to obey1 ,thy precepts study night and day2 ,thy will at all times gladly do3 ,i will4 ,lord help me to be true4 ,had all the preachers to breakfast with a friend or two beside1--hoping the hour might be spiritually improved4 ,singing and prayer were sweet1 but ,i was disappointed in the conversation1 which was turned by two individuals upon a point that profited little2 one thing ,i learned1 to expect profit in the creature is not right1--,tried to bring about1 and by means of another1 effected a reconciliation between two opposing parties4--',who will this day consecrate his services to the ,lord8' was a question put to me this morning before ,i awoke1 and has been urged upon me since4 ,thank ,god1 my heart responds--,i will4 ,as ,i was walking1 musing1 and praying1 it was whispered to my soul1 ',my ,god shall supply all your need4' ,it is enough4--,again privileged to hear the ,rev4 ,robert ,newton4 ,i sat in my ,father's banqueting-house with delight1 and ,his banner over me was love4--,fifty-four years this day1 ,i have proved the sustaining power of ,god2 and forty-two or nearly so1 have enjoyed ,his redeeming love4 ,o what a debter am ,i6 ,here will ,i give myself away--'tis all ,i can do4 ,this day of consecrated rest1 ,proclaim within my longing breast ',i am the ,lord thy ,god2' ,here dwell and reign without control1 ,sole monarch of my willing soul1 ,according to ,thy word4 ,,xvi4 ,,the ,,sacrifice4 ,i ,,have ,,lent ,,him ,,to ,,the ,,lord2 ,,as ,,long ,,as ,,he ,,liveth1 ,,shall ,,he ,,be ,,lent ,,unto ,,the ,,lord4--#a ,sam4 i4 #bh4 ,neither will ,i offer burnt-offerings to the ,lord of that which cost me nothing1 said ,david1 when he purchased the threshing-floor1 and the oxen of ,araunah the ,jebusite1 that he might rear and altar1 and offer sacrifices1 and peace-offerings3 and yet it was a nobler act of sacrifice1 when he poured out before the ,lord the crystal draught which three of his mighty men had procured from the well that was by the gate of ,bethlehem1 at the peril of their lives1 and for which he had so earnestly longed4 ,in the one case he gave what he could well afford2 in the other1 he consecrated what his soul desired4 ,the preciousness of the gift is to be estimated1 not by its intrinsic value1 but by the amount of sacrifice which it requires2 hence1 some who bring much1 offer little1 and some who give but little1 offer much4 ,genuine love to ,god brings of its choicest and dearest1 and the sacrifice is accepted accordingly4 ,to give money as far as she had ability1 was to ,mrs4 ,lyth no sacrifice4 ,through life she practised a rigid economy1 that she might have the more to employ for ,god2 and during the last few years1 when she had an ample income at her own disposal1 after her few and extremely moderate wants were met1 the whole was sacredly consecrated to public and private charities4 ,she saved nothing4 ,her estimate of the riches of this world may be collected from the following1 communicated by a friend3--,she was much saved from the love of money4 ,i called upon her one day for advice and sympathy1 when ,i was in great trouble in consequence of a loss which ,i had sustained4 ,she very affectionately encouraged me to bear up under the trial1 and said1 the ,lord had some better thing in store for me2--that ,i must set my affections on things above1 and then1 to show that ,i was not alone1 told me that a thousand pounds had been left to her mother by a deceased relative1 which she had fully expected would revert to her1 as it was the intention of the testatrix2 but it proved to be a lapsed legacy4 ,she added1 ',the ,lord so graciously sustained me1 that the loss never deprived me of a single hour's sleep4 ,he knows what is good for us1 and ,if it had been ,his will1 ,i should have had it4' ,mr4 ,lyth1 who was in company with us at the time1 said1 ',so you see my wife turns all to gold1' which it is well known she did4 ,oh6 ,i wish ,i was like her4 ,but if she estimated worldly wealth only so far as it afforded her the pure gratification of doing good1 and it was therefore no sacrifice to her to give of her earthly substance2 she also gave that which cost her something4 ,her eldest son1 ,richard1 whom she prized above gold1 and all the more1 because of the tears and solicitude which she had expended upon him as a sickly and delicate infant1 was at the ,conference of #ahcf appointed to a distant and perilous sphere of missionary labour4 ,this was a demand upon her feelings1 which severely tested her love to ,christ and ,his church2 but the spirit in which she made the sacrifice1 is best displayed by her own private record4 #ahcf4 ,a letter from brother ,john ,burdsall1 who is at the ,conference1 informs me1 that he had some conversation with ,dr4 ,bunting respecting my ,richard and the ,friendly ,islands4 ,i feel as a mother1 yet assured that ,god is alike in every place1 my prayer is for resignation4--,oh6 the rapidity of time1 conference has commenced and will1 ,i suppose1 appoint my ,richard somewhere2 only be it the place assigned by ,providence--my will submits1 though nature would rebel4--,my desires tend upward1 but oh6 my wayward heart still clings to the creature--my children lie near my heart4 ,but1 do ,i wish to withhold my son from ,thee8 no2 my heart says no2--only let holiness be stamped upon his heart and character3 send him where holiness will be the most earnestly sought1 and will make the most powerful impression4 ,my will does yield1 but nature feels4 ,the solicitude ,i feel for my children depresses my spirit3 yet am comforted by the promises of ,god1 and increasingly resolved to roll my every care at the foot of the ,cross2 where1 like pilgrim1 ,i often find the strings of my burden unloosed1 and by faith beholding my unfailing ,friend1 am encouraged to believe the ,god who cares for me1 will care for mine4 ,in the face of my fears1 ,o ,lord1 ,i trust in ,thee4 ,my ,richard is appointed to the ,friendly ,islands4--,the cases of my three sons press upon my spirit2 but ,thy aid1 ,o ,lord1 ,i seek and ask and have4--,it is the ,sabbath morn4 ,i am fully bent to give myself and my family to ,god4 ,but now it is come to the point1 how weak ,i feel6 ,well1 but ,i will resign--,richard is ,thine2 ,i will through grace1 give him up to ,thee4 ,the time of his departure is at hand2 tidings have reached us that he is expected to sail in the ',royal ,george1' on the first of ,october4 ,o may ,he who sitteth above the water floods1 and reigneth a ,king for ever1 take charge of him2 and so succeed his errand1 that thousands may add lustre to his crown6--,at half-past six ,miss ,b4 and ,mrs4 ,a4 met me1 and ,hannah ,s4 who was seeking pardon4 ,after we had pleaded for a time1 the ,lord came down in power1 and she cried aloud1 ',i can believe1 ,i do believe4' ,we all shared the baptism4 ,my dear family all took tea together1 perhaps for the last time4 ,thank ,god1 we are a united family1 though we may separate wide from each other in our pilgrimage through the world4--,while pouring out my soul for my dear ,richard1 ,i felt the hallowing power2 ,i believe the ,lord will be with him and the people also4 ,things very painful to nature are now my frequent lot2 but through these1 the ,lord seeks to purge1 and knit me closer to himself4 ,lord give me grace to bear the sacrificing knife1 and let ',thy will be done1'--,had a few friends to breakfast to commend my dear ,richard to ,god3 it was a profitable hour1 but ,i should have liked more prayer4--,my soul was much refreshed1 especially in class4 ,what a fulness is treasured up in ,jesus3 and yet ,i only sip4 ,in visiting the sick1 and seeking out the wanderers1 feel ,i am right1 but seem to have little time for this work4 ,apperly ,bridge4 ,my ,richard's wedding-day4 ,while the bridal couple went to church1 ,i retired to plead a blessing on their union4 ,on their return1 ,i met them with lines which were on my mind-- ',blest in ,christ your union be1 ,blest to all eternity4' ,and so it will be1 while they cleave to ,jesus4 ,after breakfast we proceeded to ,leeds1 where we dined1 and took an affectionate leave of each other4 ,i then retired with the female part of the company to commend them to ,god4 ,her parting counsels1 which were inscribed in my brother's album1 were as follows3-- ,my dear son1--',be strong through the grace1 which is by ,jesus ,christ1 and the things1 which thou hast heard before many witnesses1 commit to faithful men1 who will be able to teach others also4 ,endure affliction as a good soldier of ,jesus ,christ1 and the ,lord give thee understanding in all things4 ,god is my witness1 how ,i long for you1 that your love may abound more and more1 in all knowledge and spiritual understanding2 that you may try the things that are excellent2 that you may be sincere1 and without offence1 unto the day of ,christ1 being filled with the fruits of righteousness1 which are through ,jesus ,christ1 to the praise and glory of ,god4 ,and when the ,chief ,shepherd shall appear1 you shall receive the crown of glory which fadeth not away4' ,this is the earnest prayer of your truly affectionate mother4 ,mr4 ,burrows came1 and talked sweetly to me of my privilege as a christian in giving all to ,god1 and prayed with us2 else1 during this week sorrow and joy have mingled in my breast1 but now ,i feel to rise4--,mrs4 ,r4 having agreed to meet with me to intercede for my dear ,richard and ,mary ,ann1 ,i went up accompanied by ,mrs4 ,w4--the ,lord blessed us together4--,i feel encouraged4--,a very stormy morning4 ,this led me to my knees1 to pour out my soul for my son and daughter3 ,o keep them in the hollow of ,thy hands6 ,william has not yet returned from seeing ,richard off2 ,i want to hear and know--yet am encouraged to hope all will be well4--,days of suspense--but the thought1 'all is well1' encouraged me2 this was realised1 when ,william returned in the afternoon4 ',bless the ,lord1 ,o my soul1' and praise ,his adorable name4 ,my dear ,richard sent me a letter1 written when sailing down the ,thames1 in which he says1 ',the ,lord is with us1 we will not fear4' ,sinnington4 ,after the morning prayer-meeting1 ,i called upon several of the villagers1 who kindly welcomed our visit4 ,prayed with every family but one1 and in each case felt the softening power4 ,spoke plainly with ,mr4 ,b4 respecting the alienation existing between him and ----4 ,o that they would seriously resolve6--,a very stormy day1 but braving the blast1 ,i visited two or three friends1 to have a last interview with them2 in one case to invite a person to join the people of ,god2 in another1 to urge the necessity of family-prayer2 a third was a young person apparently in dying circumstances1 and a fourth was a quaker friend1 whose disinterested friendship endears her to me4--,visited the ,lady ,mayoress at the ,mansion ,house1 and felt quite at ease4 ,had an opportunity of dropping a word in her ear1 which she seemed to receive kindly4 ,the noontide hour is wont to be ,a blessed means of grace to me2 ,when met1 the hallowing power to share1 ,in the sweet intercourse of prayer4 ,was drawn out in prayer for myself and others until a late hour1 and was much blest4 ,after ,i had retired and had been asleep1 ,i awoke with these lines3 ',soft and easy is ,thy pillow1 ,coarse and hard the ,saviour lay2 ,since ,his birthplace was a stable1 ,and ,his softest bed was hay4' ,my pillow seemed softer than usual1 and my soul was happy4--,very stormy4 ,such notes of the weather repeatedly occur at this period1 but nothing more3 her thoughts were after ,richard1 but her feelings were too intense for expression4 ,to a friend she remarked1 that for six months after her son's departure1 she dared not touch1 the subject4 ',i cannot write upon it1' she said1 ',i am obliged to leave it4' #ahcg4 ,took tea with ,mrs4 ,d41 with several christian friends2 our visit was blessed1 all shared in the heavenly influence3 if all visits were equally profitable1 ,i should regret to refuse an invitation4--,paid a visit not so beneficial1 though many good people were there1 and honourable too4--,rose too early by mistake1 but determined to profit by it1 so ,i bowed myself at the feet of ,him to whom ,i can most freely unbosom myself and told ,him all my cares1 which seemed to multiply as ,i spread them out before ,him2 found a little access1 but want the mighty faith that 'can the mountain move4'--,wm4 ,b4's two daughters and daughter-in-law took tea with me1 which afforded me an opportunity of conversing with them on the necessity of salvation4 ,presented each of them with a pocket companion4 ,providentially ,mrs4 ,r4 stepped in1 and prayed with us4 ,in the evening ,i met the dear people1 deeply feeling my own unfitness1 and greatly discouraged by their state4 ,to increase my difficulty1 a young stranger came in to hear in silence2 could get none to pray4 ,what shall ,i do8 ,resolved as soon as alone to roll my burden upon the ,lord1 which ,i did1 and felt encouraged4--,five months to-day since my last letter from ,richard4 ,two days after she writes4 ,the evening post brought me a letter1 and 'all is well4' ,when we had read it1 we bowed before the ,lord to acknowledge our gratitude4 ,my dear friends1 ,b4 and ,a41 came to meet ,mrs4 ,b4 to plead with the ,lord on her behalf3 she obtained power to say1 ',i love ,him because ,he first loved me2' but durst not affirm that her sins were forgiven4--,since the ,missionary ,meeting1 the recollection that ,i1 with the rest of the assembly1 lifted my hand and pledged myself to increased exertion1 has pressed upon my mind4 ,i am willing2 ,lord1 direct my efforts6 ,this resolution was not ineffective1 for shortly after1 she initiated the ,york ,ladies' ,missionary ,sewing ,meeting1 which for many years proved an important source of income1 and still exists1 under the name of the ',ladies' ,repository4' ,hull4 ,called upon ,mrs4 ,h41 and met there a lady1 who acknowledges my father as the instrument of her conversion4 ,she was on one occasion introduced into his class1 and being a member of the ,established ,church1 he asked her if1 when repeating the ,creed1 she believed 'in the communion of saints1 and the forgiveness of sins4' ,the arrow hit the mark1 and she never rested till she obtained the favour of ,god4 ,called also upon ,mr4 ,e41 whom we found indisposed1 but awakened to a sense of his lost condition4 ,was glad to hear him speak of his hard1 unfeeling heart1 as ,i felt convinced the ,spirit of ,god was working upon him1 and was encouraged to pray with and for him4--,after an agreeable journey1 we returned to ,york--so swiftly time passes1 how ,i long to improve it6 ,in the cabin of the packet1 ,i took up a book which lay on the table--written by ,baxter--on ',living for ,eternity1' and while reading1 deeply felt the necessity of so doing4 ,two young gentlemen sat at my left hand playing at a game of some sort1 and ,i was prompted to speak to them upon the importance of improving their youthful opportunities4 ,they received the admonition in a good spirit and said1 they wished they oftener met with kind reproofs4--,miss ,b4 and ,i collected for the infant school3 some of our visits were profitable--prayer sweetened our employment4 ,sinnington4 ,my dear uncle is evidently failing4 ,he has suffered much1 but the state of his mind is improving1 and he is more accessible4 ,he goes to bed very early1 and every night ,i have sat and prayed with him4 ,my own mind is in a composed frame4 ,all around me exhibits the finger of ,god4 ,the stillness of nature impresses me with ,his presence2 ,i hear his voice1 and all within me acknowledges ,him ,lord of all4 ,i have visited several of the villagers2 some wept1 but to others ,i seem to tell an idle tale4--,four o'clock in the morning3-- ,midnight stillness6 ,o6 how solemn6 ,now surrounded by my ,god2 ,how ,i long to breathe ,his fulness6 ,how ,i long to walk with ,god6 ,thou whose eyes1 unseen1 behold me1-- ,mark my inmost rising thought2 ,in this musing moment prompt me1 ,let my works in ,thee be wrought4 ,aid1 ,o aid my contemplation6 ,to ,thy cross my spirit lead2 ,humble1 while ,i view ,thy passion1 ,me1--that caused ,thy heart to bleed4 ,let it melt me1 ,o my ,saviour1 ,melt me into love again2 ,by ,thy death to life restore me1 ,in my soul for ever reign4 ,bring me into full salvation1 ,every secret thought control2 ,help my nature's imperfection1 ,sway ,thy sceptre in my soul4 ,let all nature point to ,jesus1 ,every scene reveal ,him there1 ,earthly good1 through ,him1 be precious1 ,voices chaunt ,him everywhere4 ,all ,i know1 or taste1 or handle1 ,be subservient to ,his will2 ,sun that shineth--stars that glitter-- ,flash ,his glory round me still4 ,as ,i came out of the chapel1 a person came to me with tears in her eyes and requested me to pray for her1 that the ,lord would cleanse her heart3 ,i was humbled but encouraged4--,my birthday3 rose before five1 and consecrated my body and soul to the ,lord4 ,at an early hour was sent for by the young person ,i saw a few days ago1 who is still very much afflicted4 ,inquiring what ,i should pray for1 she said1 ',that ,god may pardon my sins4' ,i thought this a good sign1 as she was in much pain2 and left her1 believing ,god would save her4 ,this word has been my motto for some days1 ',if ye keep my commandments1 ye shall abide in my love2' and my heart is bent on it4--,awoke early2 my meditations were sweet4 ,visited ,s4,p41 while praying with her she wept much4 ,o may these meltings of a broken heart end in conversion6 ,in the evening went to ,j4,b4's to break the ice for them in commencing family-prayer1 but he was out1 so after some close conversation with his wife on the subject1 we prayed together4 ,lord1 help her to take up her cross4 ,on my return ,i went and prayed with uncle2 ,i want to say to him everything ,i ought--,lord help me4--,i started early that ,i might invite some of the villagers to the chapel3 while thus engaged my heart was lifted up to ,god for a blessing on my endeavours4--,miss ,c4 came to inform me1 that last evening after returning from chapel1 feeling her need of justifying grace1 she retired to her closet--her sisters1 and the young ladies having remained at the prayer-meeting4 ,on their return1 several of them being deeply convinced of sin1 united in prayer2 and so powerfully did the ,spirit work1 that six were crying for mercy at once3 thus they continued to pray and wrestle until two in the morning1 when five of them were made happy4 ,on my way to ,acomb1 ,i called in to rejoice with them1 and was introduced to a young lady who has been for some time under religious impression2 whilst ,mrs4 ,r4 and ,i engaged in prayer1 she found comfort2 glory be to ,god4--,a year since my dear ,richard left the land of his birth1 to preach the gospel in the islands of the seas4 ,to commemorate the event1 we had about twenty friends to tea2 after which we had a prayer-meeting on behalf of my dear son1 and the cause of missions4--,the words of a ,minister should be as a stream from the living fountain1 and themselves as conduits1 through which the stream runs4 ,how needful then1 that we should bear them up before the throne1 that there may be written upon them1 ',holiness unto the ,lord4'--,have been to see some of my members4 ,two were out1 one ill1 a fourth indisposed1 and a fifth in a very unhappy frame of mind1 whom ,i purposely left without prayer1 not knowing how to pray for her--never left her before without bowing the knee4 ,on arriving at home1 ,i presented her case to ,god4--,have been put into the office of ,treasurer for the ,clothing ,society2 ,lord help me faithfully to discharge this labour of love for the poor of ,christ's flock4--,saw ,j4,p4 on his dying bed4 ,the enemy was making his last assault upon him4 ,i repeated several promises to which he listened with attention1 and then prayed with him4 ,in about half an hour the ,lord broke in upon his soul so gloriously1 that he desired his wife to come and tell me what the ,lord had done for him4 ,my soul rejoiced with him4--,this solemn moment ,i give myself to ,thee4 ,o let me henceforth be ,thy devoted servant1 willing at all times to yield my will to ,thine6 ,dost ,thou say to me1 ',i will strengthen thee2 yea1 ,i will help thee2 yea1 ,i will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness8' ,then it is enough4 ,i am the ,lord's1 and ,he is mine4 ,blessed union6 ,god is love2 ,i feel it now4 #ahch4 ,in converse with my friends1 ,i have endeavoured to keep a conscience void of offence1 and to walk in simplicity before the ,lord2 but ,oh6 when viewed in the glass of ,god's law1 how deficient6 ,yet will ,i aim at the perfect model4--,this morning1 a young man named ,calvert1 who is going as a missionary to the ,south ,seas1 called upon us4 ,with him ,i sent a letter to my ,richard1 having sat up the previous night writing1 and little thinking ,i should have such an opportunity of sending it4 ,old feelings revived in my breast2 but after he was gone1 while musing about my son and the perils of missionary life1 these words were sweetly applied3 ',it is not the will of your ,father in heaven1 that one of these little ones should perish4'--,the box sent to ,richard1 which has been lost for three months1 is just found in proper time to go with a missionary bound for the same islands4 ,there is a providence unseen by us1 whose watchful eye protects the minutest interests of ,his own2 ',even the very hairs of your heads are all numbered4'--,informed that poor ,mrs4 ,w4 was fast sinking1 ,i hastened to see her2 she was struggling with her last enemy1 but smiling in ,his grasp4 ,when told that she would soon join in singing ',hallelujah1' she smiled and said4 ',yes2' and shortly after exchanged mortality for life4 ,,my ,,friend',s ,,departure4 ,how solemn was the room6 ,how still that scene of death6 ,my friend 'mid twilight gloom1 ,lay gasping hard for breath2 ,the death dews on her temples stood2 ,she smiled adieu1 and crossed the flood4 ,angels were hov'ring round1 ,and breathing incense there2 ,almost ,i heard the sound ,of wings upon the air2 ,light as the breeze1 and clear as light1 ,her happy spirit took its flight4 ,back on that solemn hour ,my thoughts are often cast2 ,be mine such faith and power ,to triumph at the last2 ,with smiles to meet my latest foe1 ,and die eternal life to know4 ,i am like ,noah's dove4 ,the world is a dreary waste of waters without anything upon which ,i can set my foot4 ,my friends are dying1 and disappointments common4--,wrote to ,mr4 ,b4 on the importance of preparing to meet ,god2 and enclosed three sermons on eternity4--,four persons1 whom ,i have visited this week1 have passed into eternity4 ,these ,i have warned1 urged1 and pointed to ,jesus4 ,of three of them ,i entertain hope2 but ,oh6 the danger of delay1 and the responsibility of visiting sick beds6--,i have been much troubled with the inattention and neglect of a servant4 ,this is permitted for the trial of my faith and patience1 and my earnest prayer is1 that ,i may secure the good intended4 ,with respect to my inward experience1 ,i have access to ,god1 and can more implicitly pour my wants into the ears of ,him1 who waits to answer4 ,i now enjoy1 through ,christ1 solid peace4 ,many precious seasons for want of opportunity to record them pass unnoticed1 and some painful exercises1 in which ,i have to sing my deliverer's praise4 ,sinnington4 ,i have enjoyed sweet communion with my best friend1 and in pouring out my soul among my dear relations4 ,mr4 ,b4 has read the little book ,i sent him1 and carries it about with him in his pocket4 ,with me he appears more social2 but it is the work of ,god to change the heart4 ,still1 he is laid upon my mind to remember him before the ,lord4 ,my dear uncle1 although in apparent health for his years 7eighty-one71 is increasingly deaf1 and almost cut off from intercourse with society1 so that he seeks to be alone4 ,in a conversation ,i had with him1 he told me how the ,lord blessed him1 and how he meditated in the night season4 ,in this place ,i am secluded from my usual care4 ,lord help me to improve the opportunity4 ,i can truly say1 ,i long to sink1 to rise1 and grow in all the image of ,god4--,i felt much in parting with my friends1 especially my dear uncle1 who said he should perhaps see me no more4 ,i reminded him of our meeting above1 and endeavoured to urge upon him a preparation for it4--,on reviewing the week1 ,i have endeavoured to walk circumspectly1 redeeming the time1 and enjoyed union with ,god1 both in private1 and at the family altar2 but yet ,i want more uniformity in my walk with ,god4 ,mrs4 ,h4 accompanied me to see two poor widows2 and1 inviting some of the neighbours in1 we read and conversed1 and prayed with them4 ,i felt inclined to go again4--,a good class-meeting--after which ,i went to visit the widows2 four more persons came in4 ,my heart was enlarged while ,i endeavoured to exhort them to flee from the wrath to come1 and prayed with them4--,i have returned to spend the last hour of the year at home4 ,i feel a prayerful frame1 and a determination to give myself and all my powers to ,god4 ,though buffeted by the enemy1 my heart is fully resolved4 ,i will be ,thine1--save me4 ,oh6 ,thou1 who dost in secret see ,my lifted heart1 and bended knee2 ,while now my soul pours out the prayer1 ,o let it find acceptance there3 ,come now1 and claim me for ,thy own1 ,and make my heart ,thy glorious throne4 ,twelve o'clock4 ,another year is gone4 ,,xvii4 ,,the ,,mother ,,in ,,israel4 ,,the ,,hoary ,,head ,,is ,a ,,crown ,,of ,,glory1 ,,if ,,it ,,be ,,found ,,in ,,the ,,way ,,of ,,righteousness4--,prov4 xvi4 #ca4 ,there are some countenances which even in advanced life are singularly beautiful2 lit up with a heavenly lustre which rivals the freshness and bloom of youth4 ,such was the countenance of my venerated mother1 on the eve of threescore years4 ,her expressive features discovered the rich adornment of her soul4 ,it was the outbeaming of hidden glory within2--the reflection of beauty caught by constant and secret communion with ,god2--the bright halo of love1 joy and peace in the ,holy ,ghost4 ,though in the middle period of life the subject of frequent and severe attacks of pain in the head1 which1 for the time1 greatly enfeebled her1 she had1 by the blessing of ,god upon the use of suitable means in connection with her abstemious habits1 overcome the force of disease1 and recovered a degree of strength and vigour which was remarkable4 ,her step was light and active2 her gait erect2 and as1 in consequence of the removal of her children into active life1 she was now1 to a great extent1 freed from domestic duties1 she might often be seen in the streets of the city hasting upon her errands of mercy4 ,the care of three classes1 two of which were large1 together with her numerous engagements in every department of usefulness1 which the church opened out to her1 furnished her with continual employment1 and hence1 at this period1 her diary is a detail rather of ,christian activity than of inward experience4 #ahci4--,the ,covenant-service was a solemn season2 yet ,i did not feel so much sensible comfort as firmness of purpose to consecrate myself to ,god2 seeing how greatly it concerned my interest1 and what condescension it implied1 on the part of ,god1 to accept of one so unworthy4--,entered upon subscriptions for the new chapel4--,poor ,fanny ,mc,d4 has a second time been severely burnt4 ,i saw her this morning2 she was just able to say 'yes1' when asked1 if she was happy4 ,about twelve she expired4 ,i am thankful ,i had the opportunity of commending her soul to ,god4 ,it was good to go to the house of mourning4 ,for ten years ,i have collected1 or given her1 the amount of her rent2 and for one year provided a woman to wait upon her4--,as ,i was going to ,fanny's funeral1 ,i was accosted by a young woman1 who seemed to know me3 but of whom ,i had no recollection1 until she told me that she had formerly met with me1 but had wandered from ,god1 and was now made willing to return4 ,the next day being my class1 ,i invited her to come4 ,she did so2 and said1 that as she was going out the day before1 she was strongly impressed to pray for a blessing1 and thought within herself1 ',why should ,i8 ,i am not going to chapel4' ,she concluded that our meeting was providential4 ,god grant she may again get into the right way4--,a blessed ,sabbath to me2 it was good at the morning prayer-meeting2--good in the forenoon2--good to visit the house of mourning2--and good to point to ,jesus some old women who desired to behold ,him4--,i have this day surrendered my ,sabbath class into the hands of ,mrs4 ,h41 during her stay in ,york1 having latterly had so little time for reading1 and she desires employment4--,the perusal of some of my old ,,ms4,s4 has been the means of rousing my spirit4 ,save me1 ,o ,god1 from spiritual sloth2 ,i see the danger2 may ,i fear it more than ever1 never looking at others1 but always looking unto ,thee4--,the month of my nativity4 ,my obligations to ,god are twelve months deeper1 and myself a bankrupt--dependant upon the bounty of providence1 and abased under a sense of my ingratitude1 nevertheless my purpose is to live for ,god alone3 my faith strengthens1 and ,i have a little love-- ',tis but a drop1 ,o might it grow4 ,and all my happy soul o'erflow6 ,i accompanied my husband to ,harrogate1 where ,i now write1 having secured a quiet retired spot which just suits me4 ,help me1 ,lord1 to improve the opportunity which this quietude affords4 ,i can truly say my soul longs for ,god2 yea1 for the living ,god4--,much liberty in family prayer4 ,i was drawn out on behalf of the visitors who were about to leave in the forenoon4 ,the old gentleman seemed affected4 ,tears came into his eyes when ,i bade him farewell4 ,he thanked us for all our favours1 which could only refer to our presenting him at the throne of grace--a duty we owe to all men4 ,o ,lord1 help me more faithfully to discharge it6--,went to ,goldsbro'2 and accompanied ,mrs4 ,d4 to see a neighbour1 who was deeply affected under the sermon the previous ,sabbath4 ,our visit was welcomed1 and after a little conversation we got upon our knees1 when the ,lord was very present4 ,mrs4 ,w41 the person upon whom we called1 pressed us much to go again1 which we did after tea1 before we left the place4 ,she then expressed her confidence in ,god1 and determined to cast in her lot among the people of ,god4 ,sinnington4 ,i was much pressed in spirit to visit a certain family in the village1 and got cousin ,p4 to accompany me4 ,my errand was to urge the parents to seek the ,lord4 ,it was a softening time4 ,the ,lord opened my mouth1 and enlarged my heart4 ,both the master and mistress wept4 ,oh6 that it may not be as the morning cloud and early dew4 ,i feel hope4 ,the message of mercy came wrapp'd in disease1 ,destroying my comfort1 and spoiling my ease2 ,enclosed in the foldings a jewel ,i found1 ,and a circlet of diamonds encompass'd it round2 ,i eagerly seiz'd it1 and read on the seal ,a name newly graven1 ,i cannot reveal2 ,but1 where it is present1 no sorrow can dwell1 ,affliction is welcome1 and all must be well4 ,returning from chapel1 ,i met with a person who was a stranger to saving grace1 and invited her into a house1 where ,i was going to see a sick person4 ,there ,i prayed with them4 ,the woman seemed much affected1 and to me it was a season of refreshing4 ,in the afternoon ,i saw several afflicted people1 among whom ,i was encouraged and humbled1 thankful1 and almost overwhelmed with the troubles ,i was made acquainted with4 ,after the evening service1 in company with ,mrs4 ,r4 ,i visited another woman4 ,there is no hope of her recovery4 ,she is quite ignorant of salvation1 but exceedingly desirous of instruction4 ,we had much power in prayer1 and reluctantly left her4 ,i determined to go again in the morning1 but1 before ,i set off1 she sent for me1 ,i found her perfectly sensible1 but the hand of death was upon1 her4 ,i pointed her to ,christ1 and1 while engaged in prayer1 the power of faith was sweetly given4 ,when4 asked by her husband if she was happy1 she said with emphasis1 ',yes'4--,another half hour1 and the year #ahci is gone for ever6 ,how precious these moments seem6 ,but to the last1 my hand1 moved by the feelings of my soul1 shall write ,thy precious name--,,jesus6--my ,saviour6 my ,god6 my all6 ,i now stand on the brink of another important division of time4 ,what it will develope4 ,god only knows2 but my firm determination is to live for ,god4 ,on my knees--surrounded by the unseen ,deity--,i give myself to ,thee1--to reign in1 and rule over me for ever4 ,the moment is fled4 #ahdj4 ,saw ,mrs4 ,h41 whom ,i found in dying circumstances4 ,she was at class on ,new ,year's ,eve1 when ,i urged her to lay hold upon ,christ1--cautioning her not to remain unsaved1 and expressing my fears lest she should do so4 ,she appeared much affected1 and remained at the bottom of the stairs to kiss me1 ere we parted4 ,little did ,i think it would be the last time3 but such is the frailty of our nature4--,at the request of a lady1 whom ,mrs4 ,r4 and ,i were providentially called to visit1 we went to form a class in her house4 ,it was a blessed season1 although we had only herself to begin with4 ,this lady she continued to visit weekly for a considerable time1 until death rendered her visits unnecessary4 ,it is long since ,i heard from ,richard1 but the promise has been repeated3 ',though it tarry1 wait for it1 because it will surely come1 it will not tarry4' ,so for some days ,i have been hoping4 ,two days after she writes4 ,just as we were about to commence family-worship1 the postman brought two letters1--one from ,richard1 and one from ,mary ,ann4 ,the tidings are affecting1 and strongly exhibit the guardian care of ,providence4--,without a servant1 but in no wise discontent4--,i visited ,miss ,rosetta ,w41 who is declining fast1 and has for some time been under considerable depression4 ,the ,lord was pleased to remove the cloud4 ,the change was perceptible in her countenance4--,a memorable day in consequence of the fire at the west-end of the ,cathedral--occasioned1 it is supposed1 by the carelessness of a workman1 who was employed to repair the clock2 at least1 nothing further has been elicited4 ,the spectacle was awfully grand1 and supplied me with an errand to the throne4 ,the burning particles flew over several streets1 and descended like flakes of snow4 ,surely the ,providence of ,god preserved us4 ,visited a lady1 by her own request1 who is desirous of salvation4 ,she has attended ,mrs4 ,c4's class since it has been committed to my care4--,called on ,mr4 ,w41 and looked upon the remains of dear ,rosetta1 who left this suffering world in triumph1 waving her hand1 and endeavouring to shout victory1 the morning after ,i saw her last4--,while meditating on the #aeth chapter of ,john1 the word was conveyed with power to my heart2 but ,i want a constant spirit1 never to be weary in the search1 of truth4 ,i was led to see how the ,saviour's words1 ',without me ye can do nothing1' are often improperly applied1 and made an excuse for spiritual sloth2 since it is our own fault1 if we have not strength1 because ,he has commanded us to abide in ,him4--,mrs4 ,c4's class was met by ,mr4 ,e4 ,from this time ,i suppose ,i am to be recognized as the leader4 ,in accepting this additional responsibility1 ,i am affected by a sense of my own unfitness for the work1 and the honour which the ,lord puts upon me2 for ,i look not at second causes1 in thus placing me to watch over ,his people4 ,it is1 and may it ever be1 a stimulus to seek a closer walk with ,god1 that ,i may know ,his will1 and act in conformity with it4 ,walking down ,high ,ousegate about half-past eight in the evening1 in company with my daughter1 ,i had my pocket picked of a small silver box1 given me by a cousin4 ,i can1 and have prayed for the miscreant who did it2 but wish to have my box again3 ,i fear this is wrong2 it is not like ,paul1 who suffered the loss of all things without regret4--,several ladies commenced cutting out clothing for the poor4 ,may we be clothed with humility4 ,our interview was pleasant4--,on returning from my band1 ,i found a note from our landlord1 giving us notice to quit in six months1 in consequence of some proposed buildings in connexion with the railway station4 ,for a moment ,i was startled1 as we hoped our residence was fixed for the term of life2 but my mind soon fell into a profitable train of reflection4 ,i thought1 ere this term has expired1 a higher mandate may be sent to quit my clay tenement1 when ,i must give up my account4 ,my heart feels it is well1 and will be well4--,this morning ,i traversed the haunts of the 'navvies' to give tracts to as many as ,i could4 ,it has been my purpose this day to surrender the powers of my body and soul to ,god2 and ,i have steadily kept it in view4 ,still1 ,i need the 'blood of sprinkling' through which alone ,i can be accepted4--,finished my month's visitation to the school4 ,i might have better improved the opportunity2 but imperfection characterises all ,i do4--,had the honour of breakfasting with a few of the ,lord's servants1 and was much gratified with the firmness of one1 who stood almost alone in an opinion clearly right1 respecting a book called ',the ,centenary ,takings4' #ahda4--;,i had the junior members of my classes to tea1 to sew for the poor4 ,mrs4 ,a4 and ,mrs4 ,r4 came to assist in making our meeting a profitable one4--,my mind has been deeply impressed with the solemn occurrences of this day4 ,for some time ,i have been wont to visit ,mrs4 ,b4 every ,saturday1 to converse and pray with her4 ,i found her very ill2 and after rubbing her back for some time1 to relieve the pain from which she was suffering1 ,i knelt down and prayed with her1 being particularly drawn out for a present blessing4 ,when ,i rose1 ,i pressed upon her the necessity of taking hold of ,christ2 she replied1 ',i have nothing else4' ,thus ,i left her1 little thinking that ,i should see her no more2 but so it is1 for a short time after ,i had left1 she expired4--,my dear daughter ,mary commenced a class with two members4 ,mrs4 ,a41 ,miss ,b41 ,mrs4 ,m41 and myself1 assisted at the commencement4 ,how simple are the unadulterated truths of the ,gospel6 ',he was made an offering for sin' ,amazing love6 ',it pleased the ,lord to bruise him4' ,bow down1 my soul1 in humble astonishment and adoration2 and see in the cross the malignity of sin1 and the majesty of love1 ,o blessed cross6 that points us to the sky1 ,loosens from earth1 that we may soar on high4 ,thus suffering is our pathway up to bliss1 ,to dwell for ever where our ,patron is4 ,o blessed cross6 where ,jesus bowed ,his head1 ,baptized with precious blood1 for sinners shed3 ,happy are they who keep the words he brought1 ,and bear the cross by their great ,pattern taught4 ,went to ,bishopthorpe and saw the ,archbishop's ,palace4 ,the grounds are beautiful2 and nature1 at this season of the year in its splendour1 shewed them to advantage4 ,but what a responsible office does he fill6 ,how does his flock thrive8 ,o that he may be able to render his account with joy6--,not without thought and prayer1 ,i set off for ,sinnington4 ,all nature smiled around me1 and ,jesus whispered peace within4 ,my dear uncle bows under the weight of years2 cousin looks paler1 and more feeble2 but ,i was welcomed as usual4 ,,easter ,,day4 ,the ,sun of righteousness appears1 ,to set in blood no more3 ,hail ,him6 who wipes away your tears1 ,your rising ,god adore6 ,the saints1 when ,he resigned ,his breath1 ,unclosed their sleeping eyes2 ,behold6 he breaks the bands of death1 ,and bids the dead arise4 ,alone1 the dreadful course ,he ran1 ,alone1 the winepress trod2 ,he died1 and suffered as a man2 ,he rises as a ,god6 ,in vain the watch1 the stone1 the seal ,forbid the ,conqu'ror rise2 ,rising1 ,he breaks the gates of hell1 ,and opens paradise4 ,mrs4 ,r41 in band1 faithfully told me of my faults1 which1 by ,god's help1 ,i will try to amend4 ,a meeting of ,missionary ,collectors was held to distribute the books1 and to constitute a ,ladies' ,association4 ,i left to meet my class4 ,mrs4 ,c4 was elected ,treasurer1 ,mrs4 ,r4,w4 ,secretary1 and myself1 with all my unfitness1 ,president4 ,however1 being on my knees before ,i went to the meeting1 my covenant engagements were brought to my remembrance3 ',place me where ,thou wilt2 make me the hand or the foot2 a hewer of wood1 or a drawer of water4' ,therefore1 by ,god's help1 ,i am determined to do my best1 admonished by another sentiment of ,holy writ1 ',let not him that putteth on the harness boast as he that putteth it off4'--,christmas morn4 ,rose about four o'clock2 a beautiful starlight morning4 ,it seemed to me as if 'the morning stars sang together for joy' at the ,saviour's birth4 ,glory6 ,glory be to ,god6 #ahdb4--,nearly forty present at the sewing meeting4 ,i endeavoured to draw out the sympathies of the ladies present in behalf of those whose welfare we had met to promote4--,under the word the ,lord made such a discovery of myself to myself1 as completely stripped me of self-confidence1 and all hope1--except in the ,saviour's merits1 upon which ,i had power to lay hold4 ,oh the mercy of ,god to me1 a poor worthless worm6 ,after the prayer-meeting1 two of the friends begged me in future to engage occasionally in public prayer4 ,i have not done so latterly1 because it is a mighty effort to me4 ,but ,god forbid that my silence should be a stumbling-block to any4 ,at the morning prayer-meeting1 unasked1 but not unmoved1 ,i feebly opened my mouth1 believing it to be my duty2 and was blest in so doing4--,this morning ,i awoke with ',give unto the ,lord of ,thy substance4' ,being about to purchase wearing apparel1 ,i resolved to moderate my expenditure4 ,in this1 as in everything else1 my heart's desire is to act in the sight of ,god4 ,my son1 far distant1 is daily present with me4 ,i rejoice that he is gone on the ,lord's errand to the dark places of the earth2 and find here an additional motive to bring him daily before the ,lord1 whose he is1 and whom he serves4 ,i have been much drawn out in prayer for the ,fijian chiefs4--,called upon ,mrs4 ,k4 at her own request4 ,i had previously met her at a friend's house2 and1 in course of conversation1 had inquired after her mother1 whom ,i had frequently visited1 but of whose state of mind ,i entertained considerable doubt1 believing that she was resting short of sound conversion2 and whom indeed1 at our last interview1 ,i had warned not to deceive herself4 ,these fears ,i expressed to ,mrs4 ,k4 ,the same evening she saw her mother1 and repeated what ,i had said1 with some degree of concern4 ,the next time she called1 her mother said1 ',mary1 you must get somebody to pray with me1 or ,i am lost for ever4' ,however1 being unwell1 she went home to bed2 but could not sleep1 in consequence of what her mother had said3 so she rose at five the following morning1 and went to see her mother again4 ,she found that she had been in such distress of mind1 that at midnight she had aroused a neighbour to pray with her1 and not in vain2 for the ,lord graciously sent 'deliverance out of ,zion1' and spoke peace to her troubled spirit4 ,she lived about three weeks after my last visit1 and died rejoicing in the ,lord4 ,these circumstances have so deeply affected ,mrs4 ,k4 as to lead her to seek the ,lord1 and she is now pursuing her way to heaven4 ,glory be to ,god on high6--,in consequence of my uncle's declining health1 ,i returned again to ,sinnington2 and am now sat by his side4 ,he is restless1 but says nothing4 ,it is the midnight hour2 yet ',he that keepeth ,israel neither slumbers nor sleeps4' ,no sound salutes my ear but the pendulum of the clock1 which1 with every stroke1 admonishes me that time flies4--,alone with uncle4 ,he sleeps4 ,all is tranquillity and peace2 my soul is fixed on ,christ1 and enjoys undisturbed repose4 ,surrounded by ,him1 in whom ,i live1 move1 and have my being1 all nature1--the balmy air1--the rich verdure1--the growing beauties of spring enlivened by the great luminary of heaven1 conspires to raise this often wandering heart to ,him1 whom ,i desire above all things to love and obey4--,i asked uncle if his prospect was bright2 he replied1 ',aye1 ,i've no doubt4'--,i wonder at myself ,i make so little progress in knowledge1 or increase in holiness4 ,i purpose1 aim1 attempt1 yet daily have cause to mourn my unprofitableness2 but with one whose memoir ,i have lately looked into1 ',i must come the short way to ,god1 through the atoning blood of ,jesus4' ,his name is precious now4 ,i feel its balmy power4 ,o for ability to praise ,him in language adequate to the glorious task6 ,god is love4 ,creation with its thousand tongues proclaims ,him ',wonderful1 ,counsellor1 the ,mighty ,god2' and millions of intelligent creatures extol ,him1 'the ,everlasting ,father1 and ,prince of ,peace' ,i have written a letter to be read in the ,tuesday class4 ,visited ,mr4 ,m4--,my soul goes out after ,god1 and my faith claims ,him mine4 ,o what an exalting1 and yet humbling thought6 ,faith unites but love adores4--,how quickly time wastes away6 ,i have been here a month to-day2 not supposing uncle could live many days4 ,nothing solid has passed his lips for more than that period2 and yet1 though certainly weaker1 his strength is wonderful4 ,i begin to feel anxious about home1 and the dear folks among whom ,i meet4 ,may the ,lord bless them4--,my uncle evidently changed for the worse1 and so continued for two days1 until--on the #bast of ,june1 about five minutes past five1 he expired4 ,it is a week to-day since he spoke1 and six since he took his bed4 ,i have often been sweetly drawn out in prayer by his bedside1 and enjoyed peculiar liberty the day he died4 ,i went again to see ,mrs4 ,m41 who is also dying1 her friends weeping around her4--,returned to ,york4 ,the sewing meeting was but thinly attended2--chiefly young persons1 to whom ,i felt prompted to speak on their souls' welfare4 ,the result ,i leave4 ,,where ,,is ,,the ,,lord ,,god ,,of ,,elijah8 ,in the storm1 that sweeps along2 ,blazing fire1 and earthquake strong2 ,in the lightning's trackless flight2 ,gathering cloud1 and curtain'd night6 ,in the fragrant passing breeze2 ,thunders loud1 or raging seas4 ,stormy worlds1 or gentle flower1 ,god proclaims ,his sovereign power4 ,but the still small voice of love ,softly breathing from above1 ,speaks in spirit tones within-- ',jesus suffered for my sin2' ,till my soul--,his hallowed shrine-- ,melts in melody divine4 ,let me hear its whisper still2 ,melt1 and mould me to ,thy will4 ',i will greatly rejoice in the ,lord' is my motto this day4 ,i enjoy settled peace1 and am striving after the fulness offered in the word of ,god3 ',filled with ,god2' ',sealed with the spirit of ,promise2' ',dead to sin42' ',holy4'--,disturbed in the night by a person who had a quarrel with her other self4--,my ,john occupied the pulpit4 ,at the prayer-meeting after1 a person cried aloud for mercy4 ,the ,lord spoke peace to her soul on her return home4 ,she could not sleep during the night for praising ,god4 ,she came to the ,thursday class4 ,we were rejoiced to hear her statement4 ,,xviii4 ,,light ,,in ,,darkness4 ,,for ,,we ,,walk ,,by ,,faith1 ,,not ,,by ,,sight4--#b ,cor4 v4 #g4 ,in the wisdom of ,god1 and in harmony with the highest purposes of grace1 life is so constructed1 as to make man feel his own weakness1 and his dependance upon ,divine power4 ,the recurrence of seasons of trouble and sorrow1 makes a perpetual demand upon our faith4 ,reason tries in vain to disentangle the intricate dispensations of ,providence1 and nature sinks under the force of innumerable trials1 which1 like successive waves beat incessantly upon it4 ,the only resource is faith in ,god2 and when once we grasp the sure promise1 'all things work together for good to them that love ,god2' light springs up in the darkness3 and all that comfort1 which might arise from a clear discovery of the processes of ,providence1 is realized in the assurance that all shall be well1--an assurance given by ,him who cannot lie1 confirmed by an oath1 sealed with the blood of ,christ1 and verified by the experience of ,god's people in all ages4 ,it is thus the christian's privilege to rejoice always1 if not in ,his afflictions which are grievous1 yet in the ,lord1 who ruleth all things well4 ,mrs4 ,lyth knew this to be possible1 she aimed at it1 and though not always with equal success1 she walked by 'faith and not by sight4' #ahdc4--;,i have been privileged to attend the house of ,god1 after an absence of some weeks through affliction2 but with grief ,i confess1 that when ,i first got out to see my daughter1 who has also been ill1 ,i neglected the opportunity of social prayer and thanksgiving1 that we were again permitted to see each other4 ,my ingratitude stares me in the face4 ,against ,thee1 ,o ,lord1 against ,thee only1 have ,i sinned4--,my ,john is preaching his trial sermon4 ,my husband and servant are hearing him2 and ,i have been alone1 praying for him1 that he may neither go before1 nor stay behind the call of ,god4 ,i feel the ,lord is present1 and my heart goes out after ,him4--,i was called up a little after five to attend upon my daughter-in-law4 ,a beautiful morning4 ,i reproached myself for so often losing the sweet perfume of the morning air4 ,when ,i arrived the babe was born4 ,so another immortal spirit is added to my family4 ,praise ,god1 the promise reaches to them all4--,collecting for the missions in one of the poorest districts1 we peeped into a comfortless spot1 where lived a poor widow with five children4 ,we did not wish to ask for anything1 but were obliged to give a reason for our stepping in4 ,the woman said however1 that it was a good cause1 and she would give us something4 ,this was truly the widow's mite1 and will not pass unrewarded4--,as soon as ,i rose from my bed1 these lines were upon my tongue before ,i was aware-- ',mercy's full power1 ,i then shall prove1 ,lov'd with an everlasting love4' ,while repeating them it occurred1 this is an answer to prayer last night4--,i find it difficult to retain the truths ,i hear2 but1 having the law written in my heart1 ,i desire in all things to obey4--,the cases of several members of my family press heavily upon my spirit4 ,eliza continues very weak1 and ,john is in suspense2 my only refuge is in taking them to the throne of grace3 for it is written1 ',cast thy burden upon the ,lord1 and ,he will sustain thee4'--,the cloud begins to break1 and ,i feel abased before the ,lord1 that ,i should have had so little confidence4 ,my daughter is better1 and ,john has received satisfactory information2 so ,i am confident1 that in both cases the ,lord is mindful of us4 ,yesterday1 while bowed by my daughter's bedside1 the light broke in upon my soul1 and ,i believe upon her's too4 ,i felt power to rest upon the ,lord1 and leave her in ,his hands3 very different from what ,i have felt before1 although ,i have many times approached the throne1 and sometimes caught a glimpse of hope2 but this was the broad light of faith4 ,harrogate4 ,what shall ,i render unto the ,lord for all ,his mercies towards me8 ,i am living in the enjoyment of peace of mind2 desiring more of ,god2 distrustful of myself2 grieved that ,i love ,god no more1 and aiming to do better4 ,o ,lord1 the power impart4--,we returned home greater debtors to the ,lord than ever1 for the mercies both of the upper and nether springs4 ,my husband welcomed me with the class-book in his hand1 which at first1 ,i felt reluctant to take1 but found a blessing in taking up the ,cross4--,when ,i retired to rest1 ,i thought1 if the ,lord will condescend to give me some passage from ,himself1 which is not familiar to me1 it will strengthen my faith4 ,my request was granted1 and the words ',as one1 whom his mother comforteth1' occupied my thoughts much of the night1 and were first upon my tongue in the morning4 ,i saw my ,john off by train to ,colchester4 ,i feel deeply concerned for his health1 and for his spiritual welfare1 and for his prosperity in the work in which he is engaged3 but if a mother may be heard for her child1 7and ,i believe it17 my poor petitions shall be continually urged at the throne of grace1 that he may be all ,god requires4--,a week of toil is past4 ,my husband is under medical advice4 ,i am tried with my servant2 my words and actions are misconstrued1 but ,i have been aiming to speak and act as in the sight of ,god1 however imperfectly4--,alone4 ,in two hours the year closes1--a year of unnumbered mercies4 ,backward ,i turn1 and view the stream ,of mercy rolling rich and free2 ,here1 flashing with a silver gleam2 ,there1 tinged with hues of mystery4 ,through health and sickness1 hope and fear2 ,in griefs imagined1 never known1 ,its current flowed1 my heart to cheer2 ,and light upon my pathway shone1 ,but ah6 what poor returns are mine6 ,how weak my faith6 my love1 how cold6 ,yet will ,i praise ,thee1 ',i am ,thine1' ,thy faithful promise still ,i hold3 ,distrusting self1 ,i come to ,thee1 ,my vileness in ,thy wounds to hide2 ,when foes assail1 to ,thee ,i flee1 ,and in ,thy changeless love confide4 ,then speed1 ye fleeting years1 your flight2 ,i will not mourn the period gone2 ,but hasten to my home in light3 ,eventful1 rapid years1 roll on6 ,eleven o'clock4 ,i desire most unreservedly to surrender myself to the ,lord2 to be wholly ,his4 ,amen4 #ahdd4 ,in my walks through the city1 ,i met with the ,rev4 ,thomas ,richardson1 who1 kindly accosting me1 inquired after my husband's health and requested me to tell him1 'to be careful for nothing1 but in everything by prayer1 and supplication1 with thanksgiving1 to make known his wants and requests unto ,god4' ,he added1 ',i remember what you once said to me1 ',what thy hand findeth to do1 do it with thy might2 but the children of this world are wiser than the children of light2 and ,i fear this is sadly neglected2'--with additional kind advice4 ,to my mind it was a word in season1 and my heart warmed with the kind admonition4--,i went to see ,mrs4 ,l41 and was much surprised to find her daughter1 who is in attendance upon her1 lying ill on a bed by the side of her mother's4 ,after a little conversation with her ,i prayed1 and then turned and spoke a few words to the mother1 and again we united in prayer4 ,i asked the young woman if she found it good1 and1 though scarcely able to speak1 she clasped her hands and said1 ',very--very4' ,a little after seven the same evening1 she expired1 in the bloom of youth4--,the ,president1 the ,rev4 ,john ,scott1 and ,dr4 ,newton came to ,york to advocate the cause of education4 ,a tea was provided4 ,i was one of the ,committee1 and hoped to have had the opportunity of hearing those honoured servants of the ,lord2 but ah6 we are dust4 ,my dear husband1 after rising from dinner1 was preparing to go1 when he was seized with an attack of paralysis4 7,this being the second74 ,i immediately sent for medical aid1 and the ,lord graciously blessed the means1 and now1 ,i hope1 the stroke is turned aside4 ,so the purpose of meeting our friends was frustrated2 but this is for our good4 ,my mind was kept in peace4--,visited ,mary ,r41 who is fast sinking1--she said with rapture1 ',jesus is here1 ,jesus is here4' ,i am since informed1 that she has triumphed over her last enemy1 waving her hand1 and shouting1 ',glory6'--,a very blustering night4 ,waking a little after three1 ,i rose to pray1 and found the watchful ,keeper of ,israel ready to listen to my early cry4 ,i begged ,him1 if it pleased ,him1 to give me sleep1 and wake me at five4 ,i laid down1 slept1 and when ,i awoke1 looked at my watch1 which was just five minutes to five4 ,i felt1 and still feel my obligations to the ,lord1 and am resolved to commit myself to ,his guidance4--,my birthday4 ,i awoke a little after three1 and arose at half-past four1 with these words upon my mind1 ',who will consecrate his services this day unto the ,lord8' ,my heart responds1 ',i will4' ,yes1 ,lord1 ,thou1 who seest the breathing desires of my heart1 and only knowest its wanderings1 discover to me if there is any secret iniquity lurking there4 ,as far as ,i know1 ,i am sincere1 and would be wholly ,thine4 ,my soul is happy4 ,i am ,thine4 ,saw ,mrs4 ,n4 again4 ,when ,i entered the room she seemed quite exhausted1 but recovering a little said1 ',o1 ,i have had such a deliverance since ,i saw you6 ,after a severe struggle with the enemy1 ,i could not help saying aloud1 ,bless the ,lord1 ,i can believe without a doubt or fear2 ,i throw myself upon ,christ4' ,but you will think me better than ,i am4 ,i have been a poor loiterer4 ,i have not let my light shine as ,i ought4 ,what did ,i say8' ',i repeated all ,i could recollect4' ',yes1' she said1 'it is all true2 give my love to my dear sisters 7meaning her classmates71 and tell them to make much of their religion4 ,i love them all4'--,my mind is solemnly impressed4 ,death is taking away my friends on all hands4 ,well1 a little while1 and we shall see the end4 ,may we be blessed as they are1 and as free4 ,happy am ,i to learn that ,mrs4 ,n41 when conversing with her husband1 an hour or two before her departure1 said1 ',i shall soon be with ,christ2 go to bed1 and ,i will try to go to sleep4' ,she did so1 and woke no more1 literally falling asleep in ,jesus4--,i have this morning felt depressed with the thought of being closed up in the earth2 surely this is from an enemy1 for when death has done its work1 what matters where the body is8 ,there is nothing ,i desire so much as to live and die a ,christian4 ,i hold fast the hope through ,christ2 yet ,i cannot perceive improvement1 although ,i have at times been much led out in prayer4 ,last night1 while meditating on my state1 with earnest prayer for the direct witness of the renewal of my nature1 the assurance was given1 ',i have graven thee on the palms of my hands4' ,i want not to spend1 but to redeem the time with ,mrs4 ,d4 ,called to see ,mrs4 ,t41 who is very weak in body1 but trusting in the ,lord4 ,i knelt down to pray1 and had not uttered many words before she broke out in prayer and praise1 expressive of her firm confidence in the ,lord ,jesus4 ,it was a melting season4 ,it is encouraging to see the power of grace thus manifested in the midst of pain and weakness1 and bearing up the subjects of it4--,we met to make fresh arrangements for the ,clothing ,society1 when1 much against my own will1 ,i was reappointed ,treasurer3 but1 as it is a cross1 ,i will try to take it up4--,took tea with my daughter4 ,all the preachers and their wives were present4 ,i was both pained and profited1--profited in singing and prayer1 and pained whilst endeavouring to defend an absent brother4--,resigned my office in connexion with the sewing-meeting with peace of mind4 ,yet1 on reviewing the three years during which ,i have held it1 ,i can only say1 unprofitable servant2 for1 although ,i have endeavoured to please ,god in the faithful discharge of my duty1 my doings have been mixed with much imperfection4 ,called to see a young woman in the small-pox1 who is crying for mercy4 ,i have visited her several times4 ,her cry continues1 mingled with the hope that ,god will save her4 ,i am sure gratitude ought continually to burn upon the altar of my heart4 ,even when passing through darkness1 light has sprang up to illumine the path2 but when ,i consider my returns1 ,i am filled with humiliation4 ,what shall ,i do8 ,i will try to do better2 ,lord1 help me1 ,i am ,thine4 ,i am ,thine by purchase great1 ,made1 redeemed1 sustained by ,thee2 ,by surrender1 now ,i wait ,all ,thy pleasure upon me4 #ahde4 ,took tea with ,mrs4 ,w41 and had the opportunity of urging her husband to seek the salvation of his soul4--,my dear ,eliza was this morning again made a mother4 ,another little boy to put in the covenant grant4 ,just as ,i write the promise is given1 ',thy children shall be all taught of ,god1 and great shall be the peace of thy children4' ,so may it be2 ,i desire nothing more4 ,this afternoon ,i have had a fall1 and was miraculously preserved from injury4 ,i record it as an acknowledgment of the kind care which providence has exercised over me4 ,what will be the end of these struggles respecting ,maynooth ,college8 ,will ,romanism or ,protestantism prevail8--,i saw ,mrs4 ,r4 three times today2 the second she expressed hope in ,god2 the third the power of speech was gone4 ,awful crisis6 ,standing on the edge of two worlds6 ,it was a solemn moment4 ,while engaged in prayer ,i felt access4 ,how needful to be ready6--,near midnight4 ,i have this week been endeavouring 'to reckon myself dead indeed unto sin1 but alive unto ,god4' ,my faith is sometimes strong1 at others feeble2 but my purpose to hold fast the blessing was never more fixed4 ,thou1 who at this moment beholdest the inmost recesses of my heart1 and who1 by ,thy ,spirit1 givest me inward peace1 keep me from this hour2 and help me confidently1 through the merits of ,christ1 to confess with my mouth what my heart believes--that 'the blood of ,jesus ,christ ,thy ,son cleanseth me from all sin4'--,again visited ,mrs4 ,b4 ,the last time ,i saw her she wept1 and appeared to feel much2 but ,i was afraid she was imagining she had attained what she had not1 and resolved to call again at the first opportunity4 ,i found the ,lord had been powerfully working on her mind4 ,she felt it such a mercy that the ,lord had not cut her off in her sins1 that she had wrestled with the ,lord until ,he removed her load of misery1 and communicated peace3 this is the ,lord's doing4--,all is still2 only the moan of my afflicted cousin1 in her slumbers1 falls upon my ear4 ,the clouds of evening are richly tinted as the shadows of night draw on4 ,my soul enjoys sweet tranquillity4 ,jesus' merits being the only refuge of my soul4 ,when ,i asked cousin the state of her mind1 she said1 ',sometimes ,i have no doubt1 at others ,i am perplexed2' and then added1 with tears1 ',though ,he slay me1 yet will ,i trust in ,him4' ,oh6 what is life8 a passing cloud1 ,tinged with a rainbow light2 ,but let the sun his glory shroud1 ,where is the vision bright8 ',tis past and gone1 and in its place1 ,nought but the cloud appears3 ,it is the ,sun of righteousness ,must gild this vale of tears4 ,fulfilled some errands on the ,lord's account4 ,passing a spot where a person once a member resided1 ,i called to see how her mind was affected now4 ,she was much pleased1 and said the ,lord had sent me1 as she was wishing to see me1 having had her desires after eternal life revived4 ,some others1 to whom ,i was directed1 were equally disposed to unite themselves with the people of ,god4--,two days ago cousin evidently altered for the worse2 she has spoken little1 but been remarkably patient1 through her protracted affliction4 ,this morning she expressed her confidence in ,god2 and a few minutes after eleven her happy spirit returned to ,god4 ,we sorrow1 but not without hope1--,her remains were conveyed to ,sinnington for interment4 ,past recollections seemed to drink up my spirit2 only one survivor--upon the spot--of all those whom long association has endeared to me4 ,we called upon ,mr4 ,b42 but ah6 how changed6 completely paralyzed1--apparently incapable of much impression1 and yet1 ,i fear1 unsaved6 ,i spoke to him1 and also his son1 on the necessity of making their peace with ,god1 and then prayed with them2 but my mind was afterward pained because ,i had done the work so inefficiently4--,the last fortnight ,i have several times visited a little boy1 sinking in decline4 ,when first ,i saw him1 he appeared quite ignorant of his sinful condition2 but divine light has gradually beamed upon his soul4 ,the last time1 he expressed a confidence ,i had not observed before4 ,his mother tells me1 she has often heard him engaged in earnest prayer2 and once1 perceiving him much worse1 she said1 ',bill1 thou's very ill4' ',yes1' he replied1 'but ,i shall soon be better4' ,when near death1 he asked1 ',do you see who's come for me8' she said1 ',no1 who is it8' ,he answered1 ',jesus2' and clasping his hands1 said repeatedly1 ',lord1 help me6' then placing them together1 under his head1 gently passed away4--,while endeavouring to do my ,master's will1 ,i carry my heaven about with me4 ,my soul enjoys peace1 with a deep sense of my own nothingness4 ',christ is all2 other refuge have ,i none4' ,all praise to ,god1 whose sleepless eye1 ,observed my tender years2 ,and blessed me with parental love1 ,parental prayers and tears4 ,through every lane of life ,i trace ,his providential care2 ,in many a time of need1 ,his grace ,and guardian hand were there4 ,his still small voice of love ,i heard1 ,when in the blush of youth2 ,i paused1 and listened to the word ,of everlasting truth4 ,resolved ,i was1 and re-resolved1 ,but many a conflict knew2 ,till ,god1 in ,christ1 my sins absolved1 ,and unbelief o'erthrew4 ,what shall ,i render to the ,lord8 ,what can a sinner do8 ,i'll rest upon ,his precious word1 ,and take ,his grace anew4 ,,xix4 ,,the ,,inward ,,monitor4 ,,the ,,lord ,,shall ,,guide ,,thee ,,continually4--,isaiah lviii4 #aa4 ,who1 that is conscious of the solemn responsibility of life1 and of the perils by which it is beset1 but feels the necessity of continual direction8 ,how many emergencies daily arise1 in which there is need of wisdom superior to our own8 ,oh for a ,mentor1 whose constant presence and unerring counsels might always guide us aright6 ,the aspiration is not in vain4 ,god himself1 offers to be the guide of ,his people4 ,he will put ,his ,spirit in them1 who shall abide with them always1 and guide them in the way of all truth4 ,but how8 ,not by some irresistible impulse1 which overpowers the action of human will1 or by some new revelation1 which would render unnecessary the ordinary means of religious instruction2 but by the lessons of ,his holy word1 which is brought to the mind in the moment of requirement2 for the ,holy ,spirit brings to our remembrance whatsoever is there revealed for our comfort and instruction4 ,this shows the importance1 not only of the constant and diligent study of the ,word of ,god1 but of storing the memory1 while it is yet fresh and vigorous1 with ,scripture truth3 for it is obvious1 that cannot be brought to our remembrance1 which was never known4 ,further1 we must ask for direction1 committing all our ways to ,him2 and when ,he graciously indicates the path of duty1 at once obey4 ,he who acts upon these principles will never ',full direction need4 ,or miss his providential way4' ,god will guide him continually1 and often1 in a manner most wonderful1 supply light and counsel1 in times of perplexity1 or need4 ,mrs4 ,lyth had in early life committed to memory large portions of the ,word of ,god2 the ,bible was the book of her choice--her daily study2 and her love for it became more impassioned as life rolled on to its close4 ,hence1 as she was in the habit of prayerfully seeking direction in all her movements1 its precious truths were constantly brought to remembrance4 ,indeed1 in some parts of her diary1 scarcely a day passes without the record of some scripture thus applied1 most commonly as her first morning thought1 which furnished profitable reflection for the day4 #ahdf4--;,called to see one ,i saw on ,saturday1 but she is no more4 ,whither is she gone8 ,pursued my way to visit another sick friend4 ,when ,i approached her bedside1 she said she was very ill in body1 and very miserable in mind4 ,after a few words we knelt down4 ,the ,lord was graciously pleased to give the spirit of prayer2 and faith realized the blessing4 ,she cried out1 ',i am ,thine1 glory be to ,god6' ,how good it is when ,god comes down1 and melts our frozen nature6--,i have commenced reading ,matthew ,henry's ,commentary2 how far ,i shall live to read1 ,i know not2 but ,i have commenced it with prayer1 and by ,god's help intend so to continue4--,invited the ,clothing ,committee to tea4 ,for some days before1 ,i prayed that we might be directed into the love of ,god4 ,being1 as ,i believe1 the oldest1 ,i ventured to take the lead1 and we had a little band-meeting4 ,all spoke and prayed4 ,afterward ,i was painfully exercised2 but ,i cast myself1 with all my imperfections1 upon ,god4--,in visiting the ,school ,i felt prompted to speak a few words to the children1 and made the attempt4 ,the words impressed upon my mind were ',even a child is known by his doings4'--,sought out ,mrs4 ----1 to whom ,i spoke plainly2 also called upon another christian friend1 one1 who is placed in slippery places in public life2--prayed with them3 and now my work is before ,thee1 wilt ,thou be pleased to acknowledge my feeble endeavours to help ,thy people on8--,i have today been engaged in obtaining ,ladies' signatures to memorialize the ,queen for the suppression of houses of ill fame4--,a pleasant drive to ,harrogate4 ,came1 resolved to give myself to prayer1 and have felt it good to draw nigh to ,god4--,while sitting at my work about three o'clock1 the thought occurred1 ',look into the little book lying on the table4' ,i did so1 and on opening it1 read1 ',rise and pray4' ,i was thus reminded of my engagement with a friend1 and was thankful for the admonition4--,i felt reproved for uttering a matter which1 though true1 would have been better unsaid4 ,when will my tongue be brought into due subjection8 ,cleethorpes4 ,much of the day passed upon the terrace4 ,had a conversation with a ,church lady1 to whom the ,lord enabled me to speak of the things of ,god2 and have since been praying that conviction may fasten upon her conscience4--,was sent for to visit a lady upon a sick bed1 with whom ,i had a free conversation4 ,i have now seen her three or four times1 and she seems really in earnest to save her soul4 ,she has known something of the truth for fifteen years2 but is much depressed by a nervous affection4 ,i have been led to admire the harmonies and adaptations of nature4 ,can it be that ,god should thus provide for man in his fallen condition1 and will ,he forget to provide for ,his own8 ,never6 ,infinite ,power1 is infinite love4--,called to see a person who is sick1 but was disappointed4 ,however1 ,i conversed and prayed with her mother1 and afterward went to read to a poor blind woman who is in the way to heaven4--,called to see a person with whom ,i conversed a few days ago2--heard her groaning in great pain1 but did not see her4 ,the daughter1 who is also ill and much harassed with attending upon her mother1 said1 they had now no time for religion1 as affliction put every thing else out of their thoughts2 yet she admitted its importance4 ,i gave her a few words of counsel1 and when ,i left1 told her ,i should pray for them4 ,she looked at me with surprise1 and we parted1 probably to meet no more till we meet at the bar of ,god4 ,both of them knew something of religion years ago4 ,lord1 save me from trifling4--,left ,cleethorpes at six4 ,the ,grimsby packet was crowded1 and there were many wicked people on board4 ,i was glad when we reached ,hull4--,two of my members lie at the point of death2 one1 above eighty1 is perhaps already gone4 ,she has not been able to attend her class for some years1 but ,i have regularly visited her2 and often been encouraged while praying with her4 ,a wicked son has been a great trouble to her1 and1 ,i am informed1 often used her ill4 ,to the last she expressed confidence in ,god4 ,i have seen her several times since the commencement of this last affliction1 which has only been of a week's duration4 ,last night she was just entering the valley1 and the power of recollection was nearly gone4 ,the other1 whom ,i also saw last night1 is aged1 and with a happy expression of countenance declared her trust in ,god1 and hope of heaven4 ,two others that ,i saw1 both above eighty1 were joyfully waiting their release4 ,exiled from my ,father's home1 ,a pilgrim here below2 ,looking1--longing1 lo6 ,i come ,more of ,thy love to know4 ,let me here1 like ,mary1 sit2 ,claim ,thee every moment mine2 ,willing always to submit1 ,and lose my will in ,thine4 ,i retain the earnest desire after full dedication to ,god1 ,spared to see the last moments of another year2 ,i am resolved that ,god shall have my heart4 ,worthless enough6 ,but the atonement6 ,here is my hope and consolation4 ,yes1 my all centres here4 #ahdg4--;,a friend came to request me to write to a sister1 who is in trouble through bereavement4 ,never did ,i so clearly apprehend the responsibility of acting for the ,lord4 ,may the attempt be blessed4--,visited the ,school1 and was glad to find that some of the children remembered what ,i said to them a year ago4 ,this shows the importance of storing the youthful mind with what is worth remembering4 ,i requested them to commit to memory the #bcrd ,psalm4 ,six or eight have done so1 and repeated it correctly4 ,addressed and prayed with them4 ,this finishes my month of visitation4--,i have to record the merciful interposition of ,providence1 beyond my expectation1 in a matter which has occasioned me much pain4 ,on this account ,i wish to be thankful4 ,surely the ,lord has heard my prayer4 ,let this induce me to exercise a firmer reliance upon ,his promise1 being 'careful for nothing1 but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving1 making my requests known unto ,god4'--,in visiting some of the ,lord's people1 ,i think ,i was directed aright4 ,i would1 in every footstep1 move ,to meet the ,saviour whom ,i love4 ,called upon ,mrs4 ,w41 in dying circumstances4 ,i have seen her twice1 and feel encouraged4 ,the world becomes more empty4 ,christ is all4--,believing it to be my duty1 ,i visited the surviving sons of ,mrs4 ,w41 to urge them to follow their deceased parent4 ,they seemed to welcome my visit1 and invited me to call again4 ,sinnington4--,visited several of the villagers1 with an anxious desire that ,i might be useful to them4 ,visited my departed friends in the churchyard2 ,i hope to join them soon4 ,on one of the gravestones ,i read ',the grave has eloquence1 its lectures teach ,in language louder1 than divines can preach4' ,i was again solicited to take the presidency of the sewing meeting2--a position1 which to me appears increasingly important4 ,want of punctuality1 and other evils1 are creeping in4 ,lord1 ,i am ,thine1 ,i would do that which is right in ,thy sight1 teach me2 and1 by the control of ,thy providence1 let this organization be placed on the best footing1 that it may contribute to ,thy glory4--,mrs4 ,wilson from ,fiji1 came to spend the day with us before she returned home4 ,how sweet is the cement of prayer6 ,how it knits us to one another6 ,my heart filled when ,i saw her4 ,i could have wept4 ,she brings pleasing tidings from my son4--,after much deliberation we determined to go to ,harrogate4 ,i believe it is the right time4 ,while on my knees before the ,lord1 it was suggested1 ',he shall bless thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth1 and for evermore4' ,i felt it was from the ,lord1 and believed it4 ,we had an agreeable journey1 and on our arrival a person accosted us1 and asked if we required lodgings4 ,we went with her to look at them1 and found them congenial to our wishes4 ,the parties are members of our society3 another proof of our heavenly ,father's care4--,this evening ,i had the opportunity of speaking to one of the cavalry gentlemen4 ,he thanked me1 and said he would think about it4--,a day of severe exercise4 ,i was constrained to go to the throne of grace1 where ,i found help1 and was enabled to rise above what otherwise would have grieved me much4 ,the grand secret1 ,i believe1 was the giving up my own will4 ,may ,i ever have power to do it4--,in my sleep1 the words were continually running in my mind1 ',beloved1 think it not strange concerning the fiery trial1 which is to try you1 as though some strange thing happened unto you4' ,only enable me to endure2 let ,thy righteous will be done4 ,glorious ,lord1 appear1 appear ,to ,thy feeble follower here2 ,by ,thy grace my heart prepare1 ,all ,thy righteous will to bear4 ,the words1 ',i will be with him in trouble1' have greatly comforted me4 ,faith makes them mine2 glory be to ,god6--,at the sewing meeting ,i read the first section of ,bramwell's ,memoir4 ,during tea ,i took the opportunity of speaking of the propriety of improving our time while together1 admonished as we were by the sudden removal of so many around us2 also of the necessity of punctuality in our attendance1 that we might not offer a blemished sacrifice4 ,the sequel will show with what effect4--,as far as opportunity and strength permitted1 ,i have occupied these two days in visiting my members1 and my afflicted friend1 ,miss ,bentley4 ,she knew me1 and desired me to pray2 but soon fell into a slumber4 ,this was the last time she spoke to me4--,saw her again2 about half-past four she died--to live for ever4--,it is now the last hour of #ahdg4 ,i enjoy peace of mind and hunger after righteousness4 ,i long to fill up my time according to the will of ,god1 and if ,i live1 to be more useful than ,i have ever been4 ,oh6 let ,thy still small voice ,say to my inmost soul1 ',i am thy ,god2 believe1 rejoice1 ,i make the contrite sinner whole4' ,so be it4 ,i am only ,thine1 ,and feel1 through ,christ1 that ,thou art mine4 #ahdh4--;,a whole week ,i have been a prisoner1 in consequence of a swollen foot2 but ,i am sure it is permitted in love4 ,i see it to be my privilege patiently to submit1 and think ,i feel willing to do so2 but there are many intricacies in the human heart1 and ,i see no further than divine light permits4 ,advancing time is slow2 ,but ah6 how swiftly gone6 ,to mark its flight1 and show ,how 'vantage may be won1 ,is wisdom only few attain1 ,but wisdom yielding greatest gain4 ,called to see the ,rev4 ,thomas ,walker1 and found it good while praying with him4 ,he requested me1 whenever ,i bowed the knee1 to remember him4 ,he is daily brought to my recollection4--,memorable day6 ,my ,richard's birthday4 ,how little do we anticipate the events of life6 now among cannibals1 preaching the everlasting ,gospel4 ,glorious work6 ,thus highly honoured of the ,lord1 may he prove faithful4 ,than this1 ,i can have no greater joy4--,called a third time to see ,miss ,w41 who seems to be seeking the ,lord in real earnest4 ,i found her reading the ,bible1 and weeping4 ,saw her again4 ,she told me how happy she had been all ,thursday night2 and said she felt as if ,i had cured both body and soul4 ,since then she has been very ill1 but is still following on to know the ,lord4 ,her ,bible seems her greatest treasure4 ,afterward ,i had a happy interview with ,mrs4 ,isaac2--declining in body but alive to ,god4 ,she prayed sweetly4--,helmsley ,missionary ,meeting4 ,we were hurried from the dinner table to the chapel1 which precluded the preparation ,i like4 ,friends are so kind in making ample provision for the body1 that our souls are in danger of suffering loss in consequence4--,called to see ,miss ,w4 ,death was painted in her countenance2 but she roused up1 while ,i pointed her to the ,saviour1 and urged her to accept ,his mercy now4 ,after prayer she said1 with tears1 ',i do believe in ,jesus4' ,i read a psalm1 to which she listened with deep attention1 and then prayed again4 ,when ,i rose to depart she said1 ',you'll come again2' which ,i purposed to do1 but she died the following morning4 ,while at the committee for the distribution of clothing1 the ,lord blessed me with such a calm serenity of mind1 that it was observed by one of my friends4 ,was it in answer to prayer8 ,it is true1 before ,i left home1 my prayer was for a meek and quiet spirit2 also the preceding evening1 my friend ,b4 and ,i had unitedly agreed to pray that we might more evidently1 in our different spheres1 approve ourselves ,god's witnesses4 ,since then ,i have been endeavouring1 but not always with equal success4--,still confined to the house4 ,rose between six and seven1 and found the advantage of prayer4 ,i feel my unprofitableness1 but was never more resolved to cleave to my best ,friend than now4 ,during the week ,i have been much drawn out in prayer for the dear people committed to my care4 ,but ah6 ,i have not prayed half enough2 for this ,i feel humbled4 ,o ,lord1 impress their spiritual welfare more deeply upon my heart4 #ahdi4--;,here1 ,i dedicate anew ,my ransom'd powers to ,thee2 ,a worthless offering1 it is true2 ,yet deign to look on me4 ,the ,rev4 ,a4 ,bell called to say he wished ,mrs4 ,d4 to take my ,thursday class1 as he wanted female leaders on that side the bridge4 ,is it my unfaithfulness that will cause these dear people to be taken from me8 ,my dear husband says it is providential1 on account of my health4 ,well1 ,i wait the issue4--,not long ago1 a man1 who was crushed on the railway1 cried out1 as his companions were carrying him away upon a hurdle1 ',stop6' when asked if they hurt him1 he replied1 ',no2' and pulling his hymn-book out of his bosom1 added1 ',i want to sing'-- ',happy if with my latest breath1 ,i may but gasp ,his name2 ,preach ,him to all1 and cry in death1 ,behold1 behold the ,lamb4' ,he was conveyed to a neighbouring inn1 and medical aid immediately obtained4 ,the doctor felt his pulse1 and shook his head1 on which the sufferer inquired how long he should live4 ',perhaps till twelve1' was the answer4 ,he then repeated the verse commencing ',no room for mirth or trifling here1' c4 adding1 ',i shall be in heaven before twelve4' ,near that time1 he lifted up his hands1 and shouting victory1 victory1 expired4--,the practice1 which ,i have for some time adopted1 of retiring immediately after breakfast to pray for myself1 and those who are associated with me in church fellowship1 ,i find truly profitable4--,we set off early in the morning for ,gloucester1 to visit our son and daughter2 and had a pleasant and peaceful journey1 far beyond my expectation4 ,a lady1 who sat beside me1 gave me an account of her conversion to ,god4 ,the conversation was originated by some tracts1 which she carried for distribution4 ,about seven we arrived1 and found our children looking out for us4 ,thus past the last day of my sixty-sixth year--an epitome of my life--continual change4--,returned to ,york4 ,mrs4 ,j4 accompanied me in search of ,rosamond ,j4 ,we found her in very poor circumstances1 with four children1 and her husband gone off to seek work4 ,she instantly recognised me1 and burst into tears4 ,we prayed with her4 ,after tea ,i met ,mrs4 ,j4's class4 ,the ,lord was with us2 several were in tears1 conscious of their distance from ,god4 ,the ,lord assisted me in speaking to them1 and blessed my own soul4--,death is common4 ,the cholera prevails4 ,may this awful visitation be sanctified to us6 ,i was sent for to see ,mrs4 ,p42 she expressed her confidence in ,god1 and this morning died of cholera4--,i felt impressed to visit the adjoining neighbours1 and having bowed before the ,lord1 to ask his blessing and help1 ,i went2 and1 as the ,lord enabled me1 conversed and prayed with two families4 ,in one of them1 the wife1 who is much afflicted1 pressed me to go again1 and her husband seconded the request4--,several circumstances which have occurred in our ,society1 painful in themselves1 have turned out to my benefit1 destroying my dependance on man1 and pointing me to the ,rock which is higher than ,i4 ,in an unexpected trial ,i was divinely supported4 ,i went to see ----1 and there ,i met with his friend1 to whom ,i spoke plainly2 my heart was pained4--,instead of going to the house of ,god1 ,i was painfully exercised at home4 ,opprest1 ,i lift my heart to ,thee1 ,thou soother of my care2 ,oh6 let ,thy ear attentive be1 ,to this my heartfelt prayer4 ,thou seest my heart's desire1 to live ,obedient to ,thy will2 ,help me1 to ,thee1 my all to give1 ,with love my bosom fill4 ,whate'er in me is wrong remove1 ,whate'er is dark illume2 ,search1 try1 and purge me1 but in love1 ,lest ,thou ,thy dust consume4 ,to ,thee is all my sorrow known1 ,no secret would ,i hide2 ,the enemy his tares hath sown1 ,oh6 let him not divide4 ,thou only canst my burden move1 ,the woful breach repair2 ,oh6 send us succour from above1 ,and hear my instant prayer4 ,i am resolved1 through grace1 to seek a closer walk with ,god1 and sweeter communion by the ,holy ,ghost4 ,i want constancy1 and more faith4 ,i am convinced of my cowardice in not confessing the sanctifying grace of ,god which ,i enjoy2 and thus insensibly lose sight of it4 ,i desire continually to be led by the ,spirit4 ,i went to converse with a neighbour about having family-prayer4 ,the mother is an old ,methodist4 ,saw another person1 who is a widow1 and in trouble2 both heart-touching visits4--,in visiting1 ,i met with the son of one of my members1 whom ,i requested to read six verses of scripture every day2 got the whole family together1 and prayed with them4 ,there was considerable feeling among them4--,i am now entered upon the last hour of this eventful year1 in which thousands have been swept away by cholera1 and many by sudden death2 but it has not come nigh me4 ,i began it with the fixed purpose of living to ,god2 but ,thou1 ,lord1 knowest how often and wherein ,i have failed4 ,i feel ,i can plead nothing but the blood of atonement1 to which ,i come2 ,i want stronger faith1 and more love4 ,the unhappy divisions in our ,connexion have rather done me good2 for ,i feel a hungering after ,bible ,christianity1 and more of that love which 'never faileth1' and which 'thinketh no evil4' ,,xx4 ,,the ,,storm4 ,,the ,,lord ,,hath ,,his ,,way ,,in ,,the ,,whirlwind ,,and ,,the ,,storm1 ,,and ,,the ,,clouds ,,are ,,the ,,dust ,,of ,,his ,,feet4 ,nahum i4 #c4 ,the storm1 that spreads ruin and devastation in its path1 is no less a proof of a wise and overruling ,providence than the gentler phenomena of nature1 which1 with such constant and unvarying regularity1 refresh and bless the earth4 ,it cleanses the atmosphere1 and sweeps away the poisonous miasmata1 which have been engendered during a period of quiescence1 and which must1 if not removed1 prove prejudicial to human life4 ,a similar effect is exerted by those painful dissensions which too often arise in religious communities4 ,god permits them for the purification of ,his church4 ,what is useless or injurious is swept away2 what is good is confirmed2 and if unhappily many1 that are weak1 are injured1 it is because they do not seek shelter in ,him1 who is a hiding-place from the wind1 and a covert from the tempest4 ,during the fierce agitation1 which swept as a whirlwind over the ,methodist societies in #ahdi and #ahej1 ,mrs4 ,lyth never lost sight of the great purpose of life4 ,she stood faithful and unmoved at her post2 and meddled no further with matters of strife than positive duty required4 ,the questions which many loved to discuss1 and thought themselves quite competent to settle1 were never willingly the topic of her conversation4 ,they were the subjects of her prayers4 ,she retired to her closet2 she wept in secret over the breaches of ,zion2 she sought her refuge from the surrounding excitement in the secret place of the ,most ,high1 and hence that1 which in itself was a serious evil1 became to her a source of personal benefit4 ,happy would it have been for many1 who needlessly exposed themselves to the fury of the storm1 if they had been like minded4 #ahej4--,several perplexing circumstances have conspired to disturb the quiet of my mind1 however1 they could only ruffle the surface4 ,through ,christ1 ,i enjoy settled peace4--,in the course of discussion in the ,leaders' ,meeting ,i was given to see the amiableness of the meekness of wisdom1 which was exhibited by one of our leaders4 ,i came home praying for more of it1 feeling greater love for the ,lord's people1 and thankful that ,i am united with them4 ,o what a privilege6--,twenty-seven years since my dear father entered into rest2 and ,i am yet alive1 to see and hear of more discord among the professed followers of ,jesus than ever ,i saw4 ,nevertheless1 the ',word of ,god is sure1 the ,lord knoweth them that are ,his4' ,i praise ,god my heart is fixed1 let others do as they may2 yet it is painful to me to see them leaving the people of ,god4 ',i know in whom ,i have believed1' and in ,jesus ,i have peace4 ,copy of a letter written to a member1 late of my class3-- ,,my ,,dear ,,mrs4 ----1 ,my heart yearns over you2 and1 having been your ,leader1 ,i feel a responsibility resting upon me1 of which ,i cannot acquit myself1 without warning you of the danger1 to which you are exposing your own soul1 by giving place to a spirit not of love4 ,you have been offended2 go to the offender1 that the breach may be healed2 do not make the rent wider4 ,read carefully and with prayer1 our ,saviour's directions in ,matt4 #ahth2 and submit yourself at the feet of ,jesus1 who has said1 ',learn of me1 for ,i am meek and lowly in heart4' ,o my dear friend1 an enemy has gained an advantage over you2 and on cool reflection you will have cause to mourn4 ,suffer not this evil to rankle in your breast2 but go directly to ,jesus for power to forgive1 that you may be forgiven4 ,my love for your eternal welfare1 prompts me thus to write to you1 and ,i remain1 ,your sincere friend1 c4 ,my husband is gone to ,new ,street ,chapel1 the ,trustees having been summoned on the ',delegate' affair4 ,the ,lord reigneth4--,the past has been a week of painful disunion and insubordination in oar ,society4 ,alas6 ,yet1 through mercy1 my peace of mind continues4 ,my resolve to live for ,him1 who gave himself for me1 is more firmly fixed than ever4 ,while sitting under the word1 my mind was impressed to go and speak with ,m4,r42 ,i scarcely indulged the thought1 but when ,i returned home1 it still pursued me4 ,i took it to the ,lord1 and asked for wisdom1 courage1 and a plain path2 and then set forth4 ,my path was made plain1 courage was given1 and the spirit of meekness and love rested upon me4 ,the word of admonition was kindly received2 may it be as a nail fastened by the ,master of assemblies4--,the adjourned ,missionary ,meeting was held in the ,centenary ,chapel1 and concluded the annual services4 ,the collection was nearly #aj in excess of last year4 ,messrs4 ,e4 and ,g4 were present4 ,three cheers1 accompanied by the waving of hats1 c41 were given by certain persons for the 'expelled4' ,the like ,i never saw before1 nor ever wish to see again4--,my son preached in ,new ,street4 ,in his first prayer he was much drawn out4 ,the divine power reached my heart4 ,i felt it truly precious1 glory be to ,god1 who in mercy has called my children to spread the savour of his grace4 ,o that the prayer ,i have often presented for this son1 may be answered1 that he may be blessed to thousands who may sit under his ministry4--,collected for the ,missions4 ,several refused to give2 but a widow increased her subscription from two to ten shillings4 ,harrogate4--,a pleasant walk alone2 my meditations were sweet4 ,endeavoured to induce a few to go to the ,prayer-meeting1 but only prevailed upon four4 ,called on ,mrs4 ,b4 ,our conversation turned upon the present unhappy divisions4 ,how much are we in danger of getting wrong6 ,o ,lord1 let me be guided by ,thy ,spirit1 and if ,i err put me right4 ,in family prayer ,i was drawn out for each by name4 ,after retiring to rest my little grandson ,david got up1 and came to my bedside to ask me to pray for him4 ,may the ,lord make him a man after his own heart2 and1 if he live1 a preacher of righteousness4 ,i dreamt ,i was taking a long journey1 and felt the rolling of rough waters under me1 but was fearless4 ,when ,i awoke1 this stanza was on my lips1 ',where all is assurance and peace1 ,and sorrow and sin are no more4' ,my soul is happy4--,on leaving for home1 ,i was inwardly moved to pray with the family with which we had lodged4 ,the ,spirit of the ,lord assisted me4--,during the week ,i have been led out in prayer for my son ,john1 and for the ,conference4 ,if the enemy rages1 the men of ,god have access by faith to omnipotent ,power1 and unerring ,wisdom4 ,may each be clothed with humility1 and claim the grace they need1 that they may be wisely directed4 ,sinnington4 ,when we reached ,pickering1 we had a very awful storm1 accompanied with thunder and lightning4 ,my soul was kept in peace4 ,some women1 who were detained as well as ourselves1 seemed much afraid4 ,i was prompted to speak to them on the necessity of preparing to meet ,god4--,cousin ,samuel took me to ,whitby4 ,we climbed one hundred and ninety steps to the church1 and found many gravestones of little note2 but one attracted my attention1 as it bore my own and my husband's names4 ,how soon it will be said over us1 ',dust to dust1' ,i know not2 may we be found ready4--,called upon a sick neighbour1 but as it was not convenient to see her1 ,i retired into the drawing-room with a friend who was present1 to pour out our souls on her behalf4--,i have got a new servant1 who makes no profession of religion1 and feel desirous for her salvation4 ,yesterday morning on awaking1 the words were impressed upon my mind1 ',let him know1 that he which converteth a sinner from the error of his ways1 shall save a soul from death1 and hide a multitude of sins4' ,from this ,i derive encouragement4--,amid the conflicting elements afloat1 our business is to make ,christ our pattern and our guide4 ,i am trying to take up my daily cross1 and to watch the motions of my mind2 but ah6 how fitful4 ,i am nothing2--helpless and undone without ,christ1 my only hope is in his atonement4 ,precious refuge6 ,come ,lord1 come now2 ,i thirst1 ,i long for ,thy coming4 ,now baptize1 and overpower me with ,thy love4 ,if there is lurking in my soul1 any secret and undiscovered evil1 tear it away4 ',show me ,thy glory6' #ahel4--,my soul is drawn heavenward4 ,the sewing meeting is much laid upon my mind1 that it may improve in spirituality1 and that ,i may fill the post assigned me according to the will of ,god4 ,i long to spread the savour of ,christ among the dear people1 and make religion appear more lovely4--,finished my visitation at the ',school of ,industry2' the children repeated the #ajdth and #aaith ,psalms1 also the #abth of ,romans1 and the #bbnd of ,revelation4 ,i spoke a few words1 and prayed with them2 giving them a few small books1 and one for the library4--,a friend brought me her album1 requesting me to write in it4 ,i thought prayerfully on the subject1 and begged direction of the ,lord1 not knowing who might look upon it4 ,during my sleeping hours and the following morning1 the subject of the last ,sabbath's ,sermon 7,psalm #a47 was impressed upon my mind with such force and sweetness1 and ,i felt it to be so suitable to my friend1 that ,i determined to insert it4 ,my heart's desire is1 that it may be blessed to all who read it4--,as ,i passed the ,centenary ,chapel this evening1 a gentleman thus accosted me3 ',you don't know me4' ,i answered1 ',no sir4' ,he rejoined1 ',i sat in your pew about nine years ago4 ,mr4 ,curnock preached about ,noah's ,ark2 and a word you spoke to me afterward1 forcibly impressed my mind4 ,you said1 ',get into the ,ark1' and now ,i have got into the ,ark4' ,i had no remembrance of the circumstance1 but am thankful he has got in4 ,to ,god be all the glory6--,sitting by the fire this evening1 ,i fainted4 ,so graciously does my heavenly ,father deal with me1 that he blesses and chastens me in love2 for this1 my heart's desire is to praise ,him3 ,i thirst for a deeper baptism1 and more intimate communion with ,him4 ,,my ,,sixty-,,ninth ,,birthday4 ,now the evening shadows lengthen1 ,nature's feebleness appears2 ,every grace within me strengthen1 ,to sustain increasing years4 ,perfect in me all ,thy pleasure1 ,while ,i sojourn here below2 ,every fruit1 in richer measure1 ,through my dying ,lord bestow4 ,by the evening train a family party1 consisting of thirteen of us1 safely arrived in ,searbro'4 ,five went to the band-meeting1 which was very thinly attended4 ,one of the five spoke1 having been upwards of fifty years a member4 ,i went to ,mr4 ,f4's class1 and though ,i could not hear what the members said1 ,i heard the leader1 who made some very appropriate remarks4 ,when addressing me1 he related an anecdote of ,rowland ,hill1 who1 going to preach at a village1 was requested to visit a good1 but poor half-witted man4 ,he went accordingly1 and accosted poor ,richard with the question1 ',do you intend to go to heaven8' ',yes1' he replied1 'don't you8' ',but heaven is a long way off1' said ,mr4 ,hill4 ',i don't think so1' was the reply4 ',then what do you think8' ',i think1' said the man1 'it is only three steps4' ',well1 ,richard1 what are they8' ',the first step is out of self2 the second into ,christ2 and the third into ,glory4' ,so ,mr4 ,hill went back1 and told his friends that he had been to preach to ,richard1 but ,richard had preached to him4--,i ventured to speak to a friend1 who sat beside me in the ,chapel1 about coming to class4 ,to my surprise1 she said she had for some time thought of speaking to me on the subject4 ,surely this was the suggestion of the ,spirit4 ,the ,crystal ,palace has great attractions just now6 ,i hope to see the palace of angels and of ,god4--,quarterly fast4 ,it was good to be at the prayer-meeting in the morning2 better at noon2 best of all at night4--,after a very restless night1 my husband rose very poorly and feeble4 ,i prayed with him before he got up1 and now ,i feel it good to pray for him4 ,about noon he had another attack of paralysis1 which lasted about two hours1 and at tea time he was seized again4 ,through mercy1 he is better4 ,by looking to the ,rock that is higher than ,i1 my mind has been sustained4 ,while kneeling by the bedside of my afflicted husband1 ,i have been blessed1 and found that as my day so has been my strength4--,my husband and daughter are both better2 thanks be to ,god6 ,i cannot but acknowledge that ,he afflicts in love4--',because ,i live ye shall live also1' was a portion in one of my dreams this week4 ,i think of it with pleasure1 and believe it will be so2 my heart aspires after this inheritance1 but not with so much fervour as it ought4--,i purpose1 ,god willing1 to commence another afternoon class next ,tuesday1 at three o'clock1 for the benefit of some who may find it more convenient3 ,i trust it is with the approval of ,god1 whose blessing ,i implore4--,the dying year has been marked by many blessings to me and mine2--much nearness to my heavenly ,father2 but it has also seen many wanderings4 ,i have just now been endeavouring to surrender myself freely and fully unto the ,lord1 whose ,i am1 and whom ,i desire faithfully to serve4 ,i seem surrounded by ,his presence4 ,it is now eleven o'clock2 but how many will depart before twelve6 ,happy event to those who are prepared1 having built upon ,christ6 ,here rests my hope3 ',other refuge have ,i none4' ,glory be to ,god on high6 #aheb4--;,although ,i have been suffering from cold1 the ,lord deals very gently with me4 ,others of my dear family are now under the rod4 ,these things are painful2 but looking at them in the light of eternity1 ,i find love is mingled with them all4 ,oh6 that from these dispensations we may derive all the good our heavenly ,father designs4 ,we cannot believe ,he willingly afflicts the children of men1 especially ,his own children1 but for our own profit1 that we may be made 'partakers of ,his holiness4' ,i am reading ',angel ,james on ,christian ,charity4' with profit4--,i am again disappointed of meeting the ,lord's people4 ,though ,i am better than ,i have been1 it is not deemed prudent for me to go out4 ,this is taking up my cross1 but whether in the right way1 ,thou knowest4 ,i want in every thing to do right4--,when ,i rose ,i found it was only five o'clock1 but resolved to give myself to prayer4 ,after breakfast ,i went to see my daughter ,mary1 whose husband is very ill4 ,my soul was blessed in prayer with him4 ,he requested me to pray earnestly4 ,lord1 help me to pray in faith4 ,while endeavouring to do so ,i am blest in my own soul4--,this is a day of trouble and rebuke4 ,my daughter ,eliza is very ill2 ,mr4 ,jackson is also worse2--the medical man giving little or no hope respecting him4 ,in such cases1 how vain is the help of man6 ,the feelings of my mind are indescribable4 ,o ,lord1 undertake ,thou for us4 ,i feel ,thee near to me1 be near to my dear family2 and1 while thus ,thou art chastening us1 ,o sanctify the rod4--,mr4 ,jackson has had a very restless night1 and is much weaker1 but quite recollected4 ,while ,i prayed1 he responded4 ,i left him a little after eleven2 and after calling upon ,eliza1 went to the ,school of ,industry4 ,between one and two a messenger came for me to go to ,mr4 ,jackson's immediately2 but before ,i could arrive1 the lamp of life was extinguished4 ,he had 'found the rest we toil to find4'--,a week of painful exercise is past away2 but ,i see not the end4 ,through mercy ,i can look to ,god1 and find refuge there4 ,yesterday when ,i awoke1 it was sweetly suggested1 ',because ,i live ye shall live also4' ,this raised my drooping spirit2 and now ,i take my pen to acknowledge the loving-kindness of ,god1 manifested to us as a family2 even under the most painful events1 mercy is mixed in the cup4--,the last week--before ,i reach my seventieth year4 ,life has passed away as a dream6 ,the pleasing and the painful are both gone6 ,but from the earliest dawn of recollection1 the ,spirit of ,god has moved upon my mind4 ,much love1 and much patience1 have been shown to me by my heavenly ,father2 and now1 while the sun shines without1 ,i feel the cheering beams of the ,sun of righteousness upon my soul4 ,time hastens me on2 ,it soon will be gone1 ,and the term of my stay ,grows shorter and shorter1 as life wears away4 ,one thing ,i desire1 ,to this ,i aspire1 ,to live in ,his will1 ,whose mercy has spared me1 and blesses me still4 ,no merit ,i boast2 ,in ,him is my trust4 ,who gives me a place1 ,and a lot1 with ,his own1 through ,his infinite grace4 ,to-day ,i attained the term of life allotted to man4 ,rose a little before six1 and resolved to dedicate myself afresh to ,god4 ,wrote a few lines1 read a little1 and performed my customary duties4 ,worked till dinner1 after which ,i visited three poor widows1--relieved1 and prayed with them2 then collected subscriptions to assist ,g4,b4 ,called on ,mrs4 ,w41 who kindly welcomed me2 also ,mrs4 ,isaac1 with whom ,i found it good to engage in prayer4 ,went to the prayer-meeting1 where ,i endeavoured to give myself unreservedly to ,god4 ,remained to the band-meeting1 in which the power of ,god was manifestly revealed4 ,throughout the day ,i have enjoyed a calm repose1 and a fixed resolve to consecrate my services1 so long as ,i am spared1 to the ,lord4 ,harrogate4--,returning from ,chapel1 ,i observed a number of gentlemen sitting under a tree reading newspapers4 ,on the spur of the moment1 ,i stepped up to them1 and said1 ',gentlemen1 perhaps you had better lay aside the papers1 and read your bibles to-day4' ,one answered very roughly1 ',you go home and say your prayers4' ,i turned away1 and he continued talking as long as ,i was within hearing4 ,when ,i got home my soul was drawn out in prayer that ,god would have mercy upon them4--,through a continued rain ,i went to meet the ,lord's people2 but singular to relate1 though ,i waited ten minutes1 no one came4 ,just as ,i was about to return1 a stranger came in--desirous of fleeing from the wrath to come4 ,we spent the hour in prayer4 ,my friend found encouragement1 but not the power of faith4 ,it was a time to be remembered4 ,my heart yearned over her while1 in a low tone--mingled with tears--she poured out her soul before the ,lord4 ,,old ,,age4 ,does no bright star arise to cheer ,the ,pilgrim's downward way8 ,when age and feebleness appear1 ,and wrapt in cloud1 the night draws near1 ,can nought enfeebled nature cheer1 ,and save it from dismay8 ,jesus1 ,thy promis'd aid is sure ,to all who trust in ,thee2 ,thy strength in weakness shall assure ,frail trembling nature1 and secure ,the grace in patience to endure1 ,till death shall set me free4 ,during the last fortnight1 two persons--whom ,i have often visited in former afflictions--have passed away4 ,now--their knowledge far surpasses mine4 ,i am not at the ,lord's house1 as my husband desired me to remain at home with him4 ,yet ',i have loved the habitation of ,thy house4' ,age brings infirmity2 but ,i see a danger of yielding too much to increasing weakness4 ,lord1 save me from spiritual sloth4 ,while ,i write1 let inward religion be communicated4 ,,xxi4 ,,the ,,widow4 ,,she ,,that ,,is ,a ,,widow ,,indeed ,,trusteth ,,in ,,god2 ,,and ,,continueth ,,in ,,supplications1 ,,and ,,prayers1 ,,night ,,and ,,day4--#a ,tim4 v4 #e4 ,how often does it happen1 that when death first enters a family circle1 and creates a breach2 it is the signal of its speedy dissolution6 one falls1 then another1 and another1 until the central point of attraction is removed2 and the individuals who are left1 are by the force of circumstances1 each made to feel themselves the centre of a new circle of interests1 which in time will melt away as former ones have done4 ,the occurrence of such an event is to those immediately concerned a season of solemn admonition4 ,the question instinctively arises1 who next will fall8 and each may put it to his own heart1 ,lord1 is it ,i8 ,the death of ,mr4 ,jackson was the first breach in a family1 which by ,god's blessing had for many years enjoyed a happy1 and undisturbed unity4 ,twelve months had just elapsed1 when ,mrs4 ,lyth was called to mourn the loss of a husband2 and we a father1 whose retiring and unostentatious worth1 was best known within the sacred precincts of home4 ,their union1 at first entered into in the fear of ,god1 had been maintained through the chequered scenes of life in uninterrupted peace2 years had only more strongly cemented the bonds1 by which they were united1 and for nearly half a century the vow1 ,until death us do part had been annually renewed4 ,a year or two before death dissolved the contract1 it was found necessary to purchase a new wedding ring2 and the aged couple1 with an affecting simplicity1 solemnly repeated the marriage ceremony in token of their unchanged1 and unabated attachment3 but the hour of separation was at hand4 #ahec4--;,during the last six weeks1 many circumstances have occurred for the trial of our faith and patience2 which1 through grace1 ,i recognize as the appointments of mercy for my benefit4 ,they have led me to rest more simply on ,christ by faith1 which 'is the evidence of things not seen1 and the substance of things hoped for4' ,my soul pants after ,god4 ,he is my centre1 my joy1 my crown4 ,nevertheless1 my own unprofitableness would discourage me2 therefore1 stripped of all1 ,i hang upon ,jesus1 my ,saviour and my all4--,our highly esteemed friend ,mr4 ,whitehead has passed from earth to heaven4 ,twelve days ago he called upon us1 and conversed and prayed sweetly with my husband4 ,little did ,i think it would be his farewell visit4--,my husband and myself are both invalids4 ,he has had several attacks upon his chest1 and much difficulty of breathing4 ,at these times however1 his expressions of confidence in ,god are unwavering4 ,for myself1 ,i want no other refuge1 ,i only want more faith4 ,i would be all the ,gospel requires2--willing to live1 ready to die1 but oh6 ,i see much imperfection4--,these words are often running in my mind1-- ',until he doth the cloud remove ,he only chastens whom he loves4' ,my dear husband is increasingly ill4 ,he told the ,rev4 ,gervase ,smith1 who called in to see him1 that fifty years ago1 these words were blessed to him1 ',by grace are ye saved through faith2 and that not of yourselves1 it is the gift of ,god4' ,mr4 ,bourne visited us in our affliction4 ,my soul truly rejoiced in the ,lord1 while ,his servant spake of the things of ,god1 and prayed with us4 ,i am much comforted by my husband's state of mind4 ,although this is a painful ordeal1 through which ,i am passing1 ,god is with me1 and ,his grace supports me4--,my husband is no better4 ,when ,mr4 ,eastwood inquired the state of his mind1 he answered1 ',for ever here my rest shall be4 ,close to ,thy bleeding side2 ,this all my hope1 and all my plea1 ,for me the ,saviour died4' ,he cast upon me an expressive look--,i thought he wanted something1 and inquired4 ,he replied1 ',bless you1 bless you4'--,suffered much from oppression on the chest4 ,his medical adviser promised to send him something1 which would give him relief4 ,he seemed very desirous of its arrival4 ,in the meantime1 we bowed our knees to present our case before ,god1 and to ask ,his blessing upon the expected remedy2 when in a few minutes the oppression1 in a great measure1 ceased4 ,this was the ,lord's doing1 and to ,him we heartily ascribe the praise4--,the medicine continued the relief4--,the ,lord wonderfully supports my feeble frame1 and ,i have increasing power to claim the promises made to ,his people1 and by faith discover in them a greater fulness than ever4 ,my friend ,r4 informs me she has seen ,j4,h41 who had sent to request me to visit her4 ,she wished to tell me the ,lord had blessed her soul4 ,may she be made fully meet for glory4--,my husband still continues very ill4 ,had a distressing night4 ,the enemy assaulted him4 ,my faith seems to have no wings4--,enabled to rise4--,i asked him if ,christ was precious8 ,he replied1 ',yes4' ,he is apparently near death4 ,hitherto my mind has been graciously supported though sometimes painfully exercised4 ,he rallied again1 and slept calmly for awhile4 ,after tea1 the difficulty of breathing returned4 ,the ,rev4 ,david ,hay came in1 and prayed with him2 also ,mr4 ,thompson1 a little after4 ,it was evident the hand of death was upon him4 ,he could scarcely bear us to speak4 ,once he said ',mary'--perfectly recollected4 ,mr4 ,hill asked him1 ',is ,christ precious8' to which he replied in the affirmative1 and shortly after inquired1 ',what o'clock is it8' ,the answer was given ',about ten2' and at eleven the 'weary wheels of life stood still1' and my beloved husband left me to mourn his absence4 ,i sorrow1 but not without hope2 and hear a whisper in my heart1 ',thy ,maker is thy husband1 the ,lord of ,hosts is ,his name4' ,my mind is comforted2 my resolutions are quickened2 but my sense of abasement is great1 at the little improvement ,i have made of such lengthened privileges4 ',enter not into judgment with ,thy servant1 ,o ,lord4' ,her feelings under this painful bereavement were deep1--too deep for expression2 but she maintained under it a calm spirit of resignation1 which some might have mistaken for indifference4 ,the writer sees her yet1 as she stood for some minutes1 pale and motionless1 leaning on the side of the coffin1 just before it was closed2 and gazing in the face of the dead4 ,there was no tear2 she did not even imprint a kiss on the inanimate clay1 for it was but the image of him whom she had loved4 ,her thoughts were in heaven4 ,at length stroking the face1 now insensible to her touch1 she said1 ,poor ,john1 ,i shall soon meet you again4 ,my dear ,john was consigned to his bed of dust1 to wait until the resurrection morn4 ,mr4 ,bourne came home with us4 ,his conversation helped to cheer the gloom of parting for a little season4 ,my mind was consoled with the joyful hope of being guided through the wilderness by ,him1 who so condescends to a worm of earth as to say1 ',thy ,maker is thy ,husband4' ,amazing love6 ,i was again permitted to tread the courts of the ,lord's house4 ,visited ,j4,h4 in the afternoon1 and spoke plainly to her husband4--,met the dear people1 but was far from being satisfied with myself4 ,i want a stronger faith1 and more ardent love to the souls of those who are committed to my care4 ,my precious husband has now been fourteen days in the eternal world4 ,and can ,i wish him back1 ,again to suffer here8 ,no6 following on the track1 ,i haste to meet him there4 ,my soul goes out after ,thee1 ,o ,god4 ,thou art my treasure in this vale of tears--my friend1 my husband1 my ,god1 and my all4--,able to meet both my classes1 and felt energy of spirit while urging on the members the necessity of keeping up communion with ,god2 ,i requested them to give a quarter of an hour every day1 to pray for the prosperity of their class1 and of their own souls4 ,in the midnight of my grief1 ,up to ,thee1 ,i lift my eye2 ,grant1 ,o grant me sweet relief1 ,let me feel ,thy presence nigh2 ,nothing else can succour bring1 ,here alone ,i rest my hope2 ,to ,thy bleeding cross ,i cling1 ,lift the drooping sinner up4 ,i changed my residence for one in ,st4 ,saviourgate1 near the house of ,god2 for this ,i desire to be thankful1 and to dedicate myself to the ,lord2 having sincerely sought ,his counsel and direction1 ,i feel satisfied4 ,easingwold4 ,we were much led out in prayer1 that the ,lord would this day bring some one to seek ,him4 ,in the evening three persons came in1 one evidently desirous of salvation2 may this encourage the efforts of thy handmaid to seek the benefit of the people in this place4--,i feel much the absence of my dear departed husband4 ,his memory is dear4 ,o ,lord1 help me to quicken my steps to meet him in heaven4 ,my body is trembling and feeble2 but my soul is vigorous4 ,i have to-day resigned my office of ,treasurer to the ,clothing ,society1 which ,i have held nearly sixteen years4--,six months since my husband entered into rest4 ,he is daily in my thoughts2 but ,i see him not4 ,i do not wish him back again2 a little time will bring me to him1 and ,i shall be as learned as he4 ,time hastens on6--,at ten o'clock ,mr4 ,c4 changed worlds4 ,solemn hour6 ,all the morning1 ,i know not why1 he was strongly impressed upon my mind4--,i am alone1 all is still1 my soul feels after ,god4 ,this day feed me with the riches of ,thy grace1 that ,i may abide in ,thee1 breathe ,thy ,spirit1 live in ,thy smile1 and1 like ,apollos1 be 'approved in ,christ4' #ahed4--;,i would here gratefully record the mercy of ,god to me4 ,i have been brought low--very low1 but the ,lord helped me4 ,i felt no condemnation1 yet but little sensible comfort4 ,many promises were constantly passing through my mind4 ,thus the ,lord has been leading me by a path ,i had not known4--,i have not been to the ,sanctuary yet1 nor would ,i rest in the means2 but ,i want a clearer manifestation4 ,i see the scriptures hold forth more than ,i possess2 ,i want to be closer knit to ,jesus1 that ,i may bring forth fruit4 ,have declined the presidency of the sewing meeting4 ,on this resignation a letter1 numerously signed by the ladies composing the meeting1 was sent to her1 acknowledging her services1 and regretting that increasing age and infirmities had rendered it necessary4 ,this document is not forthcoming1 but the following is her own reply4 ,,my ,,dear ,,mrs4 ,,holgate1--,i sit down to acknowledge with gratitude the kind note you presented me with1 signed by so many kind friends1 in acknowledgment of my poor services in a cause which lies near my heart4 ,thankful ,i am1 that from a small beginning in our parlour1 about seventeen years ago1 this effort for the glorious cause of missions has flourished to this day2 and that now so many hearts and hands are engaged in its operations and success4 ,i still feel interested in its prosperity1 and if ,i have one desire above the rest1 it is that every one who assists in this good work may not only have her hands employed in it1 but her heart enriched by the blessed gospel she wishes to send to heathen lands1 and that every effort may have ,god's approving smile4 ,i am1 c4 ,i think ,i never felt more free to leave the world than now2 and yet quite willing to wait the ,lord's time1 that ,i may be fully prepared4 ,acomb4 ,mrs4 ,r4 took me to see some sick persons1 also some wayside hearers2 'but who is sufficient for these things8' ,speak ,lord1 and let them hear ,thy voice6--,at the prayer-meeting after the service1 a backslider was restored to the favour of ,god2 ,i was knelt by her side1 and a holy calm pervaded my heart1 when suddenly my soul1 as by an electric shock1 was filled with confidence in the willingness and power of ,god to save4--,went to see some of my absent members2 and passing by ,mrs4 ,o4's1 whose husband died about a fortnight since1 ,i called to inquire after her1 and to my surprise and grief1 found her in dying circumstances4 ,she died the same evening4 ,i fear for her2 yet she used to weep1 and for a time seemed in earnest4 ,have visited her many times in her afflictions4--,calling in at a neighbour's shop for a trifling article1 ,i learned that the daughter was depressed in mind2 ,i felt a desire to see her1 and asked permission1 which was granted4 ,after saying what was given me1 ,i prayed with her1 feeling sweetly assisted3 when we arose from our knees she unburthened her mind1 and told me she had 'grieved the ,spirit' and now1 not feeling ,his strivings1 she had ceased to pray1 and had given1 up all4 ,o that the ,lord may bring her out of this snare of the devil6 ,hark1 how they strike their harps of gold ,in yonder world above6 ,i wonder what its scenes unfold1-- ,for not a thousandth part is told1 ,of those bright lands of love1 ,not long-ere wonder shall expire1 ,in sweet fruition lost2 ,my spirit1 borne on wings of fire1 ,shall mount1 and revel1 and admire1 ,with all the heavenly host4 #ahee4--;,a letter reached us from my beloved ,richard1 bringing tidings of health1 both of body and soul1 and of his intended removal to ,auckland2 but holding out little prospect of his return to ,england1 by the words 'if ever4' ,thus is long cherished hope cut off1 when ,i thought it about to be realized4 ,about the beginning of this year she had a severe attack of bronchitis1 and all hope of her recovery seemed cut off4 ,although able to say little1 she maintained a calm and settled confidence in ,god1 and was evidently longing after home4 ,the morning after the crisis was past1 the doctor said to her1 ',well1 ,mrs4 ,lyth1 ,i have some hope of you4' ,she replied1 ',so have ,i1 but it is the other way4' ,after a sudden and severe attack of affliction1 ,i would most gratefully acknowledge the merciful care of my heavenly ,father1 who has not left me1 but comforted me by ,his word and ,spirit4 ,my friends also have not forgotten me2 ,i have every comfort during this inclement season4 ,the earth is covered with snow1 the cold piercing1 and the day gloomy2 but mercy folds me in on every side1 and my spirit rests on ,jesus1 my atoning ,saviour4 ,while ,i write1 my heart warms and kindles at ,his love4--,i am left alone this eighteenth of ,february1 which1 forty-five years ago1 was so important4 ,well1 it is written1 ',thy ,maker is thy husband1 the ,lord of hosts is ,his name4' and to ,him will ,i plight my vows4 ,alone1 on my knees1 ,i again surrender to ,thee my poor heart1 and again take the pledge of ,thy love4 ,from this time forth may ,i swerve from ,thee no more1 but walk my few remaining days with ,thee2 having the testimony that ,enoch had1 that ,i please ,god4 ,and now ,i am ,thine by solemn ties1 in the solemn silence of ,thy presence1 all praise be unto ,thee1 who dost thus condescend to ,thy dust4--,have just returned from a drive4 ,the air is very sweet1 and nature puts forth her loveliness4 ,my soul was led out to ,him who has prepared greater things than these for those that love ,him4 ,my spirit is revived4 ',bless the ,lord1 ,o my soul4'--,riding out yesterday1 ,i called to see my dear friend ,isaac1 who1 like myself1 is waiting until her change come2--a touching little interview4 ,she told me while she was praying for me in my affliction1 it was impressed upon her mind1 ',my power is unlimited4' ,o may it be exerted in my full preparation for eternal glory1 to meet my dear friend there4 ,i sometimes get transient glimpses of it4 ,i feel myself a helpless worm1 but the name of ,jesus is sweet4 ,there is none ,i desire in comparison of ,him4 ,though ,i cannot get out ,i am able to read1 and the word of truth is my constant companion4--,a beautiful day3 the sun shines in splendour1 but sin spoils all the beauty4 ,while my eyes are cheered with what ,i see1 my heart is saddened with what ,i hear4 ,one has fallen into sin1--one ,i have highly esteemed in time past4 ,what need to put on 'the whole armour of ,god1' and watch6--,i felt more vigorous in my classes to-day1 and spoke very plainly1 for ,i feel a great love for these souls4 ,thou art1 ,o ,god1 the life and light ,of all this wondrous world we see2 ,its glow by day1 its smile by night1 ,are but reflections caught from ,thee2 ,where'er we turn ,thy glories shine1 ,and all things fair and bright are ,thine4 ,i feel decaying nature2 but my soul does not lose its appetite for divine things4 ,in the midst of forgetfulness1 and other infirmities1 my only centre is in ,christ4--,as the day was fine1 ,i walked to ,heworth in search of an absent member1 and after many inquiries1 found out her abode2 but she was not at home4 ,i got some important information about her4 ,my walk was a most impressive one1--on a lovely road1 on either side overhung with foliage--but1 being autumn1 the way was strewed with withered leaves1 while every breeze1 though soft1 wafted others to the ground in showers2--fit emblem of my own decay6 ,i was much wearied4--,the ,rev4 ,robert ,young1 who has recently been on a deputation to the ,south ,sea ,missions1 selected ,fiji as the topic of his speech at the ,missionary ,meeting1 and gave a very cheering account of my ,richard1 in the midst of cannibalism4 ,i went into the vestry to speak with him2 but was overwhelmed with my feelings4 ,have been laid aside by affliction2 but the ,lord has been intimately near4 ,my faith has been strengthened1 and ,i cling more closely to my best ,friend4 ,many blessed promises have been brought to remembrance1 which have cheered me1 and created sweet peace4--,my faith wants to borrow the pinions of the eagle4 ,lord help me1 ,i am ,thine2 ,i dare trust in ,thee2 unprofitable as ,i am1 ,thou art my ,god4--,my thought before ,i rose this morning was3-- ,down life's declivity1 ,borne by the surge1 ,on to eternity1 ,swiftly ,i urge2 ,not without cheering hope1 ,when ,i am gone1 ,jesus will bear me up1 ,straight to ,his throne4 #ahef4--;,a few lines written at the commencement of this year1 contain the following reference to a circumstance1 which1 trivial as it was in itself1 had nearly occasioned the loss of her sight4 ,time rushes on6 ,another scene appears6 ,in springtide thought1 ,i stood upon the hearth2 ,when in a moment1 from the crackling flame ,a piece of burning ore flew in my eye1 ,and suddenly eclipsed the light of day4 ,but ,he who opened blind men's eyes of old1 ,restored my sight4 99 99 99 99 ,i am sensible of the want of gratitude for the sight ,i have2 though it is but imperfect1 ,i can1 by close attention1 read my ,bible1 which at first was all ,i desired4--,visited two of my members1 each of whom has had a fit1 one being deprived of the left hand1 and the other of the right2--humbling cause of gratitude that ,i can use mine4 ,youth with all its hopes is past1 ,and middle life-with care2 ,now1 in feeble age1 ,i cast ,my all on ,god by prayer4 ,exiled yet a little while1 ,but guided by ,his eye2 ,happy ,i live beneath ,his smile1 ,and happier still--shall die4 ,my meditations this morning have been sweet1 on the words1 ',thou shalt also be a crown of glory in the hand of the ,lord1 and a royal diadem in the hand of thy ,god4' ,i cannot increase ,god's glory2 but ,i--a worm--in the hand of my ,god1 become crowned with glory4--,my niece ,caroline has departed this life4 ,in a lucid moment1 one asked1 if ,christ was precious2 she answered1 ',yes' ,it was added1 ',just such a ,saviour as you need8' ',exactly1' was the reply4--,i have given up my own house1 and removed to my daughter ,eliza's hoping the blessing of the ,lord will attend the change4 ,my mind has1 beyond my expectation1 been preserved in peace4--,came with my daughter to ,haxby1 for the benefit of a change4 ,o that ,thou wouldst bless my coming to one soul6--,called upon ,mrs4 ,s41 and was glad to find her desirous of knowing the truth1 as also her daughter4 ,i feel peculiarly drawn out in prayer1 on behalf of the inhabitants of this village4 ,oh6 that a glorious revival may break out here4--,the means of grace are not so plentiful in ,haxby as in the city2 but here ,i enjoy the quiet of retirement1 and breathe a purer atmosphere4 ,often the ,spirit wafts me on to the better land1 and ,i contemplate with pleasure my everlasting home4 ,who can tell what shall be on the morrow8 ,but a few weeks elapsed after this visit to ,haxby1 when her daughter ,eliza1 whose loving and gentle spirit endeared her to all who knew her1 was taken away at a stroke4 ,on the day on which the following entry is dated1 she had exhibited an unusual degree of vivacity2 and with great confidence borne testimony in the class to the power of the grace of ,god4 ,a goodly number at the class4 ,in the evening ,eliza read to ,mrs4 ,c4 and myself the interesting adieu of the ,french ,protestant ,minister1 ,adolphe ,monod1 introduced into the ,november number of the ,methodist ,magazine for #ahef4 ,we sat down to supper1 and mournful to relate6 she was seized with a fit of apoplexy1 which lasted until nearly three in the morning1 when her spirit calmly took its flight4 ,how needful to be ready6--,my dear daughter was carried to the cemetery1 there to rest until the resurrection morn4 ,while passing through this painful dispensation1 ,i have enjoyed the sweet consolations of the ,spirit of ,god1 and been able to recognize mercy mingled with judgment4 ,the same evening my ,eliza passed into the skies1 my son ,william was appointed to meet a few of the ,lord's people4--,the year heaves its last sigh1 as ,i review the way in which ,god has led me4 ,very painful events have occurred4 ,scenes pleasant1 and sad1 have passed before me2 but around1 and over all1 mercy has spread a cloud of light2 and here will ,i raise my heart1 and say1 ',hitherto the ,lord hath helped me4' ,,xxii4 ,,the ,,lights ,,and ,,shadows ,,of ,,evening4 ,,the ,,day ,,goeth ,,away1 ,,for ,,the ,,shadows ,,of ,,evening ,,are ,,stretched ,,forth4--,jer4 vi4 #d4 ,have you ever observed the effect produced upon the eye by the rapid decrease of light1 which takes place as night draws on1 during that season of the year in which the twilight is shortest8 ,for some minutes there appears a rapid succession of light and shade1 each succeeding shadow deepening in gloom1 until the night sets in4 ,this phenomenon arises from the necessity which the pupil of the eye finds of adapting itself to the diminution of light2 and it has hardly done so1 before the increasing darkness requires a still further expansion of the visual aperture4 ,just so in human life1 when its brightness has departed1 and the night is at hand2 there is often a rapid succession of painful occurrences1 which fall like shadows upon the soul1 and it has continually to adapt itself to its altered circumstances4 ,the eye of faith can scarce keep pace with the demands made upon it1 and the effect is a sense of occasional depression1 which even the ,christian cannot altogether resist4 ,in the last two or three years of her life1 ,mrs4 ,lyth experienced what it was to be in heaviness through manifold temptations2 and although she wore the same happy smile1 exhibited the same unwavering1 and even triumphant confidence in ,god1 and to all around her1 it was evident she was fast ripening for her glorious reward2 her diary shows that she was1 in some of her solitary hours1 subject to momentary depression2 which1 as she made no allowance for altered circumstances1 and increasing infirmities1 she was in danger of attributing to a wrong cause4 ,it was not until after the death of her husband that there was any perceptible decline of her physical energies2 the snow of age fell lightly1 so that she still continued for some time to discharge her accustomed duties in the church1 until increasing weakness compelled her to relinquish1 one by one1 her visiting district for the ,benevolent ,society2 her collecting books for various ,institutions2 the ,visitation of the school2 the ,treasurership of the ,poor ,clothing ,society2 the ,presidency of the ,sewing meeting2 and last1 and to her the most painful of all--her ,class2 for like her ,lord1 having loved her own1 which were in the world1 she loved them to the end4 ,this unavoidable cessation from her more abundant labours1 and the life of passive suffering she was now called to endure1 perhaps more than anything else1 was sometimes a source of painful reflection1 and became an occasion of powerful temptation4 ,she could not1 however1 be inactive2 much of her time passed in reading and prayer4 ,her pen and her knitting-needle were in constant requisition1 and a fine day1 or a little renewal of strength1 often induced her1 at the peril of her own health1 to visit an unconverted neighbour1 or an afflicted friend4 ,the sudden removal of her daughter was acutely felt1 and elicited several efforts of her muse1 two of which are here given4 #aheg4--;,gone6 gone6 gone6 ,the empty chair ,i see1 ,but ah6 no smile1 as once1 alights on me4 ,in what bright region doth thy spirit rest8 ,since all are living1 thou art surely blest4 ,i ask no more1 the veil will soon remove1 ,and ,i shall come to dwell with thee above4 ,just before ,i awoke1 ,i dreamed ,i was reading2 and it was written1 ',he will receive thee to ,himself1 and give unto thee a kingdom4' ,it was repeated thrice4 ,,lone ,,musing4 ,doth her spirit hover near6 ,doth she ever watch o'er me8 ,am ,i still to her as dear ,as when in flesh she cared for me8 ,if she now1 with wistful eyes1 ,strives1 unseen1 to draw me higher2 ,let me wisdom doubly prize1 ,more and more to heaven aspire4 ,lo6 the ,spirit and the ,bride ,lovingly invite me on1-- ,seek my wandering heart to guide ,to the ,father1 through the ,son4 ,i will answer to the call2 ,thou my portion1 ,i ,thy child2 ,here in self-abasement fall1 ,trusting in ,thy mercy mild4 ,i am glad to hear that in ,haxby the ,lord has been giving 'showers of blessing4' ,mr4 ,mc,owan has given twenty-nine notes on trial4 ,i am the ,lord's prisoner2 looking up1 yet ,i feel my lonely position4--,it was suggested1 ',i am thy salvation4' ,i paused and asked1 from what8 ,from the world1 sin1 self1 and thy deadly foes4 ',i am thy salvation1' from all thy inward evils2 pride1 unbelief1 love of the creature1 from every thing contrary to love4 ,this salvation is all mine1 through ,christ1 by faith4--,rose a little after six2 very feeble2 nearly read through the book of ,ezra1 and saw how ,god helps the good in times of difficulty4 ,i feel depressed3 ,lord1 help me6--,i rode to the ,cemetery to see the spot where my ,eliza lies4 ,well1 a little while1 and ,i hope to join her among the spirits of the just made perfect4 ,i proceeded from thence to my brother's in ,dove ,street4--,have been a week in ,dove ,street4 ,through mercy ,i have been able to rise every morning at six2 and while reading ,dr4 ,clarke's ,theology1 my spiritual strength has been1 renewed4 ,i have enjoyed many blessings from the ,lord1 and my time has passed pleasantly1 but my poor brother is very1 very infirm4 ,i have called on several friends in the street1 and had the opportunity of praying in two families4--,latterly1 during the night season1 the enemy has afflicted my mind with painful temptations2 but ,i am not left to myself1 the ,lord is my helper4--,to-day ,i was much drawn out in prayer for one of my grandsons4 ,surely the ,spirit moved me4 ,after tea1 four of my grandsons1 and my daughter1 bowed with me before the ,lord4 ,it was a time to be remembered4 ,the ,lord drew near1 and ,i was melted down before ,him4--,weak yet pursuing4 ,my daughter ,mary unexpectedly read to me the words1 ',lo6 ,i am with you alway even to the end of the world4' ,the truth thrilled through my heart1 as a flash of lightning4--,sweet peace4 ,this evening a stranger1 brought by ,e4,f41 came to converse on spiritual subjects4 ,we prayed together1 and the ,lord drew near4--,alone2 but graciously moved by my heavenly ,father to pour out my soul in prayer2 ,i enjoyed sweet access by the ,holy ,spirit1 on behalf of many dear ones4 ,glory be to ,god1 that to a worm ,he manifests ,his presence1 and reveals ,his love4 ,mary had a note from ,richard1 informing us of a change of purpose respecting his return to ,england4 ,well2 if they commit their way unto the ,lord1 they will not err far4 ,this shall be my prayer for them1 while strength is continued4--,awoke by a fit of coughing1 ,i heard as if a voice spoke to me1 ',union with ,jesus gives the power of patience4' ,i feel it4--,met the ,lord's people in great weakness1 but with great longing for their spiritual health4 ,miss ,r4 read me a letter from ,miss ,k41 informing her of the happy change1 which had taken place in her mind4 ,my soul rejoiced to hear the news1 particularly as she had been for some time laid upon my mind whenever ,i approached the throne of grace4 #aheh4--,my ,john spent a few days with us4 ,i have enjoyed his company more than ever before2 perhaps ,i prayed more1 that it might be so4 ,i think ,i feel more deeply the hallowing influence of prayer4 ,my soul feeds on ,jesus4 ,glory be to ,god for a ,saviour4 ,while midnight shadows blended1 ,and nature seem'd to sleep1 ,me1 angel watchers tended1 ,who always vigil keep2 ,i felt them hov'ring o'er me1 ,though hidden from my view2 ,a veil was spread before me1 ,but is the thought less true8 ,watch'd by these heavenly strangers1 ',who all my paths attend1' ,and oft from foes and dangers1 ,my progress would defend2 ,o give me circumspection ,to guard against the foe1 ,then1 sure of their protection1 ,i on to conquest go4 ,only nine present at the class4 ,i spoke to them1 but felt the effect upon my feeble body for two days afterward2 yet it was good to talk to them of the love of ,jesus4--,i have been exercised by the common foe2 depressed in feeling1 but never left without the power to draw near to ,god in prayer4 ,thank ,god1 for some days past my spirit has been revived2 and this morning my heart is trusting in the ,lord1 ,glorious news from ,america6 ,the ,lord is saving by thousands4 ,o that the breath of heaven may reach our own shores6 ,o time how precious ,i what a load misused6 ,to catch its flight is wise2 to waste or loiter1 folly4 ,reader1 and writer1 mark6 ,thy time escapes3 ,to give it now a name is golden1 gain4 ,oh6 with true wisdom print thy passing hours1 ,so shall eternity proclaim thy fame4 ,my two sons1 ,william and ,john1 set forth to welcome their brother ,richard1 just returned by the ship ',duncan ,dunbar'--after an absence of more than twenty-one years--with a family of six children--a gracious providence having watched over him2 and now the happy brotherhood will1 ,i trust1 be perpetuated1 until consummated in heaven4--,my son ,richard1 with his lovely wife and family1 have arrived4--,i am now seventy-six years old4 ,how much cause of humiliation6 ,how much cause of gratitude6 ,here upon my knees ,i give myself to ,thee2 ,i am ,thine4 ,let ,thy presence be communicated with fresh power to my soul4 ,i do thank ,thee for peace1 and a full bent to please ,thee4--,my son ,richard conducted me to my new residence on ,heworth ,road4 ,often have ,i changed my abode1 supposing each would be the last remove3 yet ,i tarry4 ,all ,i want is to move under the smile of my heavenly ,father1 and to feel myself under his guiding eye4--,poorly4 ,inward conflicts4 ,went to see a person1 who was once a member of my class2 she is still in the way to heaven4 ,we prayed together4 ,here1 at the throne of grace1 ,i find myself at home4 ,i was at my class1 perhaps for the last time4 ,god bless the dear members4 ,graven on the hand divine1 ,bid me on ,thy strength lay hold1 ,look1 believe1 for ,thou art mine2 ,jesus makes me humbly bold4 ,though ,thy courts ,i may not tread1 ,thou art in my mouth1 and heart2 ,in ,thy holy book ,i read1 ,god in every place ,thou art4 ,with more love inflame my soul1 ,with more fervent zeal inspire2-- ,faith1 that can all power control1 ,fill the grasp of my desire4 ,let ,thy word of mercy spread ,freely1 all the village round3 ,speak to-day1 and wake the dead1 ,let the lost in ,thee be found4 ,my friends are gone to the ,sanctuary4 ,looking at myself in the light of the divine presence1 ,i see imperfection stamped upon all my doings2 and yet1 through mercy1 ,i have an interest in the precious blood of atonement1 and long that all around me may enjoy the same salvation4 ,while now my pen moves upon the paper1 move ,thou upon the hearts of the people1 who have long been favoured with hearing the voice of ,thy ministers4 ,arouse the careless2 stir up ,thy people2 and this day pour out ,thy ,spirit upon us all2 and now1 while alone2 help my infirmities2 visit me1 and give me increase of faith4--,inward conflicts and wandering of mind have brought me to my knees4 ,to ,god ,i tell my utmost care1 ,and find my place of refuge there4 ,by the help of the servant's arm ,i got to ,heworth ,chapel1 and heard a little1 but imperfectly4 ,my son ,richard came1 and conducted me home4 ,very faint and sick after ,i returned2 but ,i know not that ,i ever enjoyed a more refreshing sense of ,god's presence4 ,glory be to the ,father1 and to the ,son1 and to the ,holy ,ghost4--,clouds dark--rainy--trees fading--leaves falling--all things changing here2 but1 ',thou art the same1 and ,thy years shall not fail4' ,o1 while ,i hold my pen in my hand1 let me feel ,thy presence in my heart6 ,i have in ,thee a changeless friend4 ,glory be to ,thy name1 ,thou ever-blessed ,god6 ,give me more love1 and knit me more closely to ,thyself4--,the day fine4 ,i got to ,chapel1 and through mercy was no worse4 ,a stranger kindly accompanied me home1 who seems to be an inquirer after truth4 ,my soul yearned over her1 while ,i spoke a few words to her4 ,o may they sink deep6 ,in the course of reading1 the words1 ',let the peace of ,god rule in your hearts' especially struck me4 ,to rule implies government2 ,i may dwell where ,i have no power to rule2 and the peace of ,god must not only be felt1 but bring into subjection everything in my heart1 that would oppose itself to the will of ,god4 ,praise ,god1 my spirit longs for this complete subjection4 ,a star in its splendour attracted my eye1 ,as softly from slumber ,i woke2 ,i thought--as ,i saw the bright spot in the sky-- ',twas an angel of mercy which spoke-- ,of the hope1 that brings peace to the labouring breast1 ,and raises the sorrowful mind4 ,the sweet'ner of life1 and the solace of rest1 ,in ,jesus1 the ,saviour1 we find4 ,when troubles oppress us1 and nature decays1 ,his light in the darkness is given3 ,bright star of the morning1 ,o lend me thy rays6 ,and guide me safe homeward to heaven6 ,,sitting ,,by ,,myself1 ,,and ,,thoughtful4 ,alone8 no never6 that broad eye1 ,which fills all space1 is here2 ,my secret thoughts and actions he1 ,reveal'd as daylight clear4 ,i would not from ,thy presence fly1 ,thee only1 would ,i love2 ,with greater circumspection try ,in ,thy commands to move4 ,if in my heart ,i aught disguise1 ,the lurking evil slay2 ,if aught than ,thee more highly prize1 ,o take it1 ,lord1 away6 #ahei4--;,i concluded the year by reading the ,epistle to the ,philippians1 and prayer4 ,my soul longs for a richer baptism of love1 ,i am as well as usual1 and my soul pants after ,god4 ,i feel the word precious while ,i read1 and thirst for a fuller manifestation of ,god4 ,while thus employed1 ,i enjoy sweet peace through ,jesus4 ,here hangs my hope of heaven2 and though ,i have many a conflict with unbelief1 my heart is fixed4 ,,thoughts ,,on ,,ezekiel',s ,,vision1 ,,chapters #dc ,,and #dh4 ,,ezekiel ,,xlviii4 #ce4 ',the ,lord is there6' ,o happy place6 ,where ,god in ,christ unveils ,his face2 ,the city and the people bear ,his glorious name--',the ,lord is there4' ,the house all symmetry within1 ,the worshippers all white and clean2 ,how lustrous is the scene1 and rare6 ,it must be so--',the ,lord is there4' ,there1 from beneath the threshold1 teems ,the tide of truth in living streams2 ,and those who drink the waters1 share ,eternal life--',the ,lord is there4' ,the crystal waves spread deep and wide2 ,salvation rolls upon the tide2 ,so copious is the flood1 we dare ,no longer doubt--',the ,lord is there4' ,the healing virtue never fails2 ,for all 'who will1' it still avails2 ,within the city brought1 they wear ,a kingly crown--',the ,lord is there4' ,the glory of the ,lord is seen1 ,his voice is heard by all within2 ,the tribes of ,israel are ,his care1 ,who reigns1 the ,lord for ever there4 ,while reading and meditating on ,ezekiel's vision1 my spirit was refreshed2 and in the evening1 while praying with my servant1 my soul rejoiced in ,god my ,saviour4 ,tears of joy ran down my eyes1 and my soul overflowed4--,six years my dear ,john has been in paradise1 and ,i am still endeavouring to urge on my way2 feeble1 yet pursuing4 ,praise ,god for the encouragement ,i feel4 ,jesus is all the world to me2 there is nothing in my estimation equal to ,him2--nothing ,i desire in comparison of ,him4--,in the world there appears to be a glorious movement towards ,god4 ,the latter-day glory hastens on4 ,india is quiet1 and ,china opens her arms to the truth4 ,in ,america1 ,scotland1 and ,wales1 the ,spirit is descending plenteously4 ,o praise the ,lord1 for ,he shall reign2 'the government shall be upon ,his shoulder4'--,walked as far as ,heworth ,chapel1 and called upon ,miss ,c42 she asked me to pray with her1 being herself an invalid4 ,cause of gratitude1 being my longest walk this year4 ,the present circumstances of my children call for earnest persevering prayer4 ,let ,thy ,spirit help me4--,the beauties of inanimate nature have this week exhibited the finger of ,god in the rising bud1 and opening flower4 ,may ,i1 to whom is given1 an intelligent mind1 while beholding these works of ,thine1 be drawn into closer union with ,thyself4 ,yea1 while my hand directs the pen1 let my soul assimilate to ,thy likeness3 make me one with ,thee4 ,glory be to ,god1 ,i feel there is union1 for ,god is love3 but enlarge and fill my soul with all ,thy fulness4--,this afternoon the young clergyman visited me1 and made inquiries after my spiritual welfare4 ,my heart clave unto him2 and after he had prayed1 ,i heartily wished him success in his ministry4 ,tidings have reached me1 that my son ,john is going as a ,missionary to ,germany3 may it be of the ,lord4 ,my soul is exceedingly drawn out in prayer that it may be so2 and that it may be a blessing both to him and the people among whom he is about to labour4--,i am this day seventy-seven years old4 ,how quickly time departs6 ,i lack words to express the manifold mercies of my heavenly ,father during the past year4 ,one above all1 is the return of my ,missionary son1 after twenty-one years' absence2 and his1 and his family's kindness4 ,bless the ,lord1 ,o my soul4--,felt impressed to go and visit ,mrs4 ,m--1 whom ,i visited once last year2 went1 and had a happy interview4 ,hallow'd is the hour of prayer1 ,when the ,spirit helps me there2 ,when the soul is drawn above1 ,borne on wings of faith and love2 ,then1 released from earth1 ,i rise ,far beyond the starry skies2 ,see1 in ,christ's atonement free1 ,life for all mankind1 and me4 ,mrs4 ,c4 called1 and kindly took me to ,class4 ,i gave out the hymn my ,eliza sang the day before she died1 and prayed with them4--,i have been led by the ,spirit of ,god to my knees1 and find it no vain thing to wait upon the ,lord4 ,i am urged to look after my petitions1 and feel it good to be thus reminded4--,mrs4 ,hartley called to bid me good-bye4 ,i felt it very good while we prayed together4 ,on her return to the city she was taken very ill1 and sent a request by my daughter1 that ,i would pray for her4 ,i will4 ,felt blest in doing so4--,my two sons are going to widely distant localities1 but in their ,master's field4 ,oh6 how my heart longs that they may be richly endued with power from on high1 and made abundantly useful among those with whom they mingle1 and that many may be the saved of the ,lord4 ,john ,arthur and ,david are also1 this day1 going on the ,lord's errand4 ,o bless the lads6 ,make them wise to win souls to ,jesus4 ,my soul longs for their prosperity4--,nine of my dear grandchildren took tea with us4 ,for these and all the rest my soul earnestly longs1 that we may be an undivided family above4 ,i was blest while praying with them4--,my dear son ,john and his wife1 with five children1 left us on their way to ,germany1 hoping to reach ,london this evening4 ,o ,lord1 prosper ,thou his journey to yonder land6 ,i feel deeply for him4 ,o bless him1 ,lord6 ,oh6 what a world of care1 ,anxiety and grief6 ,how multiplied our sorrows are6 ,where shall we find relief8 ,our lov'd ones come1 and glad we are ,to see their smiling face2 ,but brief these transient visits are1 ,and then1 the last embrace4 ,mrs4 ,nightingale came to meet two women in distress for their souls4 ,they wept sore1 and found encouragement4 ,i felt it good to mingle my petitions with their's4 ,this was the commencement of a class at her own residence1 conducted by ,mrs4 ,n41 and formed especially for my mother's accommodation4 ,up to this time she was nominally a leader1 but since her removal to ,heworth1 she had but very occasionally been able to ride down to the city1 and mingle in the communion of saints1 a privilege1 the loss of which she had deeply felt4 ,the provision thus made was therefore a source of unspeakable comfort4 ,mrs4 ,nightingale says1 ,we found her at the appointed time1 but oftener before1 sitting in prayerful silence1 waiting upon ,god4 ,at such times her countenance was most heavenly2 lit up with a light and glory1 which bespoke her relation to1 and hidden life with1 her divine ,lord4 ,it was our privilege1 when she was able1 to listen to the words of wisdom and instruction which fell from her lips4 ,her deep acquaintance with the word of ,god1 and the holy unction with which she spoke1 caused those present to say1 ',this is none other but the house of ,god1 and this is the gate of heaven4' ,love to ,god and the souls of men burned brightly on the altar of her heart4 ,this was seen in the deep interest she took in each member of the class1 and in her prayerful concern for the members of her own family4 ',god is giving me answers to my prayers both on behalf of my children and grandchildren1' she would say4 ,but there were aspirations of soul after higher forms of spiritual life1 which could only be realized in the fruition of the divine presence4 ,for increase of years she made but little allowance1 so that1 whilst her love to ,god and heavenly meekness became increasingly apparent to others1 her diminished energy was sometimes to herself the occasion of painful conflict and introspection4 ,before ,i awoke ,i thought a letter was put into my hands1 the contents of which were ',through much tribulation ye shall enter the kingdom4 ,the ,lord giving me power1 ,i will fight my passage through4--,through the intensity of the weather1 and my own increasing indisposition1 ,i have been compelled to keep my bed2 but prayer has been the life of my soul2--the only sure refuge in trouble4 ,much drawn out for my dear ,john1 who1 we expect1 is this day holding an important meeting4--,the year is quickly passing into eternity4 ,it tarries not1 nor waiteth the hurried one to free4 ,defer not1 for the moment will soon pass away4 ,now touch the golden sceptre while it is called to-day4 ,believe1 believe in ,jesus1 who gave ,his life for you4 ,accept the rich gratuity1 for ,he hath purchased you4 #ahfj4--;,although not able to sit up to welcome the new year1 it broke upon me with these words-- ,jesus shall all my powers possess1 ,my hopes1 my fears1 my joys3 and thus my heart resolves4 ,yes1 ,lord1 the dying embers of my life are ,thine4 ,i thank ,thee1 ,thou dost not cast me off in my old age4 ',my soul shall magnify the ,lord1 and my spirit rejoice in ,god my ,saviour4'--,a few days ago1 my mind was filled with uncertainty respecting two members of my family2 however1 ,i laid the case before the ,lord1 and1 to my surprise and grateful acknowledgment1 in a day or two there was an opening in each case4 ,reader or writer1 think not highly of thyself1 others were praying as well as thee4--,my first thought this morning1 ',i have loved thee with an everlasting love1 therefore with loving kindness have ,i drawn thee4' ,a very cheering letter from my son ,richard4 ,praise the ,lord for such information1 both from heaven and earth4--,a beautiful sunny morning4 ,grant that the ,sun of righteousness may rise upon me with healing in ,his wings4 ,let ,him heal1 and form my soul anew4 ,this is my chief desire4 ,i do thank ,thee for peace1 but ,o enlarge my heart1 and fully fit me to behold ,thy glory6--,a quiet ,sabbath morning4 ,i am sitting alone4 ,the sun shines brightly upon me1 and all nature seems to join in hallowed harmony4 ,may my soul1 capable of far greater powers1 be expanded to receive far richer influences from the great source of my being--the inexhaustible fountain of all blessedness4 ,my soul drinks of the living stream4 ,praise ,god for these small draughts4 ,enlarge and fill1 and enlarge for ever6 ,,man',s ,,frailty4 ,see a flower of lovely hue1 ,dipp'd in beauty bright1 at ,spring1 ,blasted by a wind that blew1 ,ere it passed its blossoming4 ,such is man1 in best estate2 ,like a flower he buddeth forth1 ,till some unexpected fate ,brings him to his mother earth1 ,such a shadow of a shade1 ,human life1 a moment1 is3 ,now we live1 but soon conveyed ,past all life's uncertainties4 ,blooming youth and wither'd age1 ,infant charms and ripened years1 ,death assaults with equal rage1 ,unappeas'd by prayers or tears3 ,then1 the closely wedded pair1 ,soul and body sadly part2 ,yet to meet again--but where8 ,seek the answer in thy heart4 ',looking unto ,jesus6' ,this is the posture of my soul4 ,yea1 ,i long after ,god4 ,i have been peculiarly drawn out ,in prayer for several members of my family1 with great sweetness ,in my own soul4 ,glory be to ,god6 ,,xxiii4 ,,sleep ,,in ,,jesus4 ,,weep ,,not2 ,,she ,,is ,,not ,,dead ,,but ,,sleepeth4--,luke viii4 #fb4 ,when the shadows of evening begin to fall1 it is not difficult to prognosticate that the night is at hand2 and1 admonished by the increasing gloom1 man1 wearied by the tolls of the day1 gladly looks forward to the hour of repose4 ,universal nature shares in the feeling of presentiment4 ,the cattle seek the shed2 the birds fly back to their nests2 and the gentle flower folds its delicate petals1 as if for sleep4 ,is ,it wonderful that as life closes in1 especially when protracted to a good old age1 the human spirit should feel an instinctive consciousness of approaching dissolution8 or that the aged ,christian1 after long and patient endurance in his ,master's service1 should joyfully anticipate the hour of rest8 ,yes1 ,,rest1 not death2 ,for whosoever liveth1 and believeth in me1 saith the ,saviour1 shall never die4 ,christ has tasted death for him1 and the bitterness1 which is the reality of death1 is passed away4 ,his stedfast faith prevents the dawn of a brighter day1 and what matters it1 whether his sleep continue but a few hours1 or be protracted through a period of centuries8 ,the body can be sensible of no difference1 and the spirit1 transported far beyond the regions of dream-land1 enjoys a happy and conscious existence in the presence of ,him1 who died1 ,that whether we wake or sleep1 we might live together with ,him4 ,mrs4 ,lyth looked1 nay longed for the time of her departure2 and as the hour drew on1 seems to have had some pleasant premonitions of its approach4 ,about a month before it occurred1 she writes1 ,my first thought this morning was1 ',we soon shall be landed1 for death is in view1 ,almighty protection shall comfort us through2 ,released from our prisons1 to heaven we fly1 ,exchanging all sorrows for mansions on high4' ,a few days of beautiful spring weather permitted her to enjoy an occasional walk1 which was generally made subservient to some higher purpose than that of mere refreshment4 ,thrice her steps were directed to the ,sanctuary1 opportunities which she richly enjoyed4 ,of one of these she says1 ,i enjoyed the privilege of meeting my friends at the lovefeast1 and hearing them speak of the power of grace to save2 but my poor body is very feeble4 ,this short respite1 however1 excited in her mind no fallacious expectation of a much longer reprieve2 and more than once she expressed her conviction1 that1 as the summer advanced she would be no better4 ,the weather suddenly changed2 and the prevalence of north and easterly winds1 accompanied with rain1 confined her to the house4 ,to use her own expressive language1 ,june enters weeping1 and yet 7#ajth7 remains in tears4 ,this circumstance elicited almost the last effort of her poetic pen4 ,fairest month of summer's ,trine1 ,why dost thou remain in tears8 ,ask not4 ',tis the will divine2 ,this shall dissipate my fears4 ,he1 who ruleth in the sky1 ,knoweth what ,his creatures need2 ,he can every want supply1 ,trust ,him1 and ,his promise plead4 ,clouds may wear a frowning brow1 ,blasting winds may sweep around1 ,he1 who reigns above1 knows how ,best to make his love abound4 ,then1 ,i'll cast my every care ,on my promise-keeping ,god2 ,honour ,him by faith and prayer2 ,rest upon ,his faithful word4 ,should the cloud continue still1 ,thou for ever art the same1 ,all the workings of ,thy will ,but proclaim ,thy glorious name4 ,the last entries of her diary1 which with a solemn significance just fill up the volume1 we give in full4 ,june #aath4--,i expected to have received my ticket1 but no one came1 ,i clearly see no dependance can be placed upon the creature4 ,on ,thee1 ,o ,lord1 let all my confidence rest6 ,glory be to ,god1 though ,i am an isolated one1 ,i am not left alone4 ,i do feel drawn1 after ,god1 ,i have given myself to ,him1 and ,he is chief in my affection4 #aith4--,my seventy-eighth birth-day4 ,i had intended writing1 but the ,lord saw otherwise4 ,i was in bed three parts1 of the day1 and on the #bjth very ill1 having taken cold4 #bast4--,thursday the longest day4 ,i am very feeble1 but have taken my pen to acknowledge the goodness of ,god to me for so long a period4 ,at noon we had an awful thunderstorm1 during which my soul was calm and peaceful4 ,this is the ,lord's doing4 ,i felt sweet trust and confidence in my ,almighty ,saviour4 ,afterwards ,i received my ticket at the hands of the ,rev4 ,thos4 ,nightingale4 ,on the ticket there is written1 ',i have loved thee with an everlasting love1 therefore with everlasting kindness have ,i drawn thee4' #bdth4 ,,the ,,sabbath4 ,peaceful is the ,sabbath morn1 ,glad ,i welcome its return2 ,now ,thy presence ,i implore1 ,come1 and never leave me more4 ,it was hoped by her friends that1 with the return of milder weather1 her strength would rally2 but from this time it gradually declined4 ,her occupations were pursued as usual1 but her weakness became daily more apparent2 and1 every now and then1 intimations fell from her lips1 that her time was short1 and her work nearly done4 ,to those around her it was evident that she was standing ready1 and waiting for the coming of her ,lord4 ,this was particularly observable in the promptitude and fidelity with which she addressed all who came to the house1 in terms of exhortation or warning1 as if she was afraid of losing a single opportunity of speaking for her ,master4 ,earth with its comparative trifles was fast receding from her view1 and her spiritual vision occupied with the solemn and momentous scenes into which she was so soon to enter4 ,her daughter1 who1 for the purpose of ministering to her requirements1 occupied the same bed-room1 was often awoke1 in the stillness of night1 by the voice of thanksgiving and prayer2 for1 not content with making melody to the ,lord in her heart1 she gave vent to her overflowing feelings in singing and praise4 ,on ,thursday1 the #bhth1 the decrease of her strength was such that1 although no danger was apprehended1 it was deemed advisable to call in medical aid1 which afforded her a momentary relief4 ,but disease was insidiously working to an unfavourable issue1 and that day she plied her needle for the last time4 ,on ,saturday the doctor instituted a minute examination of her lungs1 and pronounced the case one of the worst forms of bronchitis2 yet still held out the hope of recovery1--a hope in which she evinced no sympathy1 for1 though from the nature of the complaint able to talk but little1 she spoke of her affliction1 not only without apprehension1 but with joyful anticipation4 ,to the doctor1 when he informed her of her danger1 she expressed her confidence that to die would be gain1 and urged upon him the importance of living always in a state of preparation for death4 ,he had no sooner left the room than1 turning to her daughter1 with a look of ecstacy1 she said1 ,i am going home1 ,mary4 ,in consequence of her extreme debility1 the difficulty of her breathing and expectoration occasioned her much suffering1 which she bore with exemplary patience2 and when it was referred to1 replied1 ,it is all right4 ,at another time when an allusion was made to her sufferings1 her reply was1 ,patient the appointed race to run4 ,her daughter read to her the beautiful hymn1 commencing1 ,the ,god of ,abraham praise1 to which she listened with great attention1 and on coming to the lines1 ,he calls a worm ,his friend1 ,he calls ,himself my ,god1 ,and ,he shall save me to the end1 ,through ,jesus' blood2 she exclaimed1 with her eyes raised to heaven1 and her hands uplifted1 ,glory6 glory6 ,during the night her daughter1 who watched by her side1 overheard her say1 ,my heart and my flesh faileth1 but ,god is the strength of my heart1 and my portion for ever1 emphasizing the last words4 ,it was whispered-- ,and above the rest this note shall swell1 when she instantly took up the words1 and with a heavenly smile completed the stanza1 ,my ,jesus hath done all things well4 ,the same tender solicitude for others1 especially those of her own family1 which had ever characterized her1 was still manifest in her utmost weakness4 ,twice1 says her daughter1 during those few anxious days1 while ,i was standing by her bed-side1 she looked at me tenderly1 and said1 ',the ,lord bless thee1 and keep thee2 the ,lord make ,his face to shine upon thee1 and be gracious unto thee2 the ,lord lift up ,his countenance upon thee1 and give thee peace4' ,on telling her ,i was going to write to my brother ,john1 she replied1 ',give my kindest love to him and ,susie1 and tell them to keep the one point in view4 ,to one who was ministering to her wants she said1 with great earnestness1 ',oh6 when one comes to the verge of another world1 of what avail are all things else1 if we are not on the sure foundation8 ,my whole care is to be ready--quite ready4' ,the rapid decay of her strength seemed to produce no corresponding impression upon her mind1 which1 up to within a few hours of her departure1 retained its wonted vigour and clearness of perception4 ,her utterances were carefully weighed1 and she grasped the full force of the words which were spoken to her2 hence1 when her daughter asked if she could say ,not a cloud doth arise ,to darken the skies1 ,and hide for one moment the ,lord from my eyes2 she replied1 ,i can't say that4 ,but1 mother1 you can trust ,him in the dark8 ,her ready answer was1 ,i can do that4 ,on ,tuesday morning1 ,july #crd1 the day preceding her removal1 for some hours she appeared rather better1 and on being lifted up in bed1 she asked for her spectacles1 the ,bible1 and also the hymn-book1 from which she read the hymn beginning ,how do ,thy mercies close me round1 which was one of her favourites4 ,as the day advanced her disease gained ground1 but1 beyond the difficulty she experienced in breathing1 there was no evidence of suffering4 ,she expressed a fear she was impatient1 but it was far otherwise4 ,not a murmur1 nor a breath of complaint passed her lips2 she possessed her soul in patience1 and her language was praise and prayer4 ,once1 while gasping for breath1 she repeated at intervals1 the verse ,o may ,i thus be found1 ,obedient to ,his word2 ,attentive to the trumpet's sound1 ,and looking for my ,lord4 ,in the afternoon her son ,richard arrived from ,torquay1 providentially in time to witness the last solemn and mournful scene1 and to administer words of comfort and encouragement4 ,the valley was fall of light1 and a momentary cloud which skirted the horizon1 occasioned by the deep sense she felt of her own unprofitableness1 melted away at the presence of ,him whom1 having not seen1 she loved1 and whose name was last upon her lips4 ,my brother says1 ,i found her very ill1 but most delighted and thankful for my arrival4 ',praise the ,lord1 ,i am glad to see you1' was her characteristic salutation4 ,well1 ,mother1 ,i find you resting on ,jesus8 ,yes1 was the reply1 but ,i have been so unfaithful4 ,you have nothing to do with that now2 you must look only to ,jesus4 ,you believe ,his atonement is sufficient to cover all your unfaithfulness8 ,oh6 yes1 ,i do4 ,you know that ,paul1 and ,mr4 ,wesley had nothing else to plead but this1-- ',i the chief of sinners am1 ,but ,jesus died for me4' ,from that moment1 looking off from herself1 she trusted in ,christ alone1 and was fully saved and sustained by divine grace4 ,leaning on her ,beloved1 she was now ready to pass over ,jordan2--not its swellings1 the stream was narrow1 and neither deep nor troubled4 ,a little time and she was on the opposite plains2 but before she landed1 she uttered words of triumph1 the sounds of which fell faintly on our ears4 ,in the devotions of the evening1 which we conducted in her room1 she participated with holy delight1 and listened to the former part of the #adth chapter of ,st4 ,john's ,gospel1 with an evident appreciation of its overflowing fulness of consolation4 ,in ,jesus she contemplated the revealed glory of the ,father1 and her believing ,amen made the blessedness of the revelation all her own4 ,after giving me some final directions1 especially with respect to her manuscripts and letters2--directions which were short and clear2 and given with her wonted happy expression of countenance1 and cheerfulness of manner2 she gradually yielded to the force of disease4 ,for three hours and a half she lay quiet1 occasionally slumbering1 but breathing heavily4 ,it was thus ,i found her in the morning at half-past two4 ,she was quite conscious and recollected1 and gave pleasing signs of recognition1 but the power of speech was almost gone4 ,she had reached the middle of the stream1 but her head was lifted up above the flowing waters1 for her feet were upon the ,rock4 ,mary quoted ,the ,lord is good2 a stronghold in the day of trouble2 and ,he knoweth them that trust in ,him1 and shortly after1 ,bright angels are from glory come1 ,they're round my bed1 and in my room1 ,they come to waft my spirit home3 ,all is well4 ,she caught the idea2 whispered ,bright ,angels1 and tried to say more4 ,i added the precious words1 ,having loved ,his own1 ,he loved them to the end1 also the lines of our own sweet singer2-- ,and ,god ,himself our ,father is1 ,and ,jesus is our ,friend4 ,another effort was made to speak1 and at intervals we caught the words1 ,praise1 ,glory1 ,my ,father1 ,my ,redeemer4 ,these were the last sounds we could hear2 the full expression of triumph was lost in the gentle murmurs of the river4 ,there was yet another signal of happy and exulting confidence4 ,for sometime1 she gazed intently upward1 and then around1 with a look of delighted surprise2 as if she saw scenes we could not see1 or heard sounds we could not hear2 and then gradually sunk into a state of unconsciousness4 ,a few more hours terminated her mortal panting after immortality2 and at twenty minutes past eight1 just as we commended her to ,god1 without an effort or a struggle1 she breathed her ransomed spirit into the bosom of her ,lord4 ,what was mortal remained with the mourners1--the spirit was with ,god4 ,thus1 on the #dth of ,july1 #ahfj1 after the toils and struggles of life1 protracted to a period of seventy-eight years1 and a few weeks2 my beloved1 and venerated mother fell asleep4 ,she rests in the cemetery about a mile from the city1 by the side of her loved ,eliza4 ,rich and poor united to pay the last tribute of affection and esteem2 and mingled their tears at the place of her repose4 ,a few weeks later1 on a ,monday evening1 in the ,new-,street ,chapel1 the ,rev4 ,thomas ,nightingale1 to a crowded audience1 improved the event1 not of her death1 but of her entrance into heaven1 from the words1 ,and it came to pass1 as they still went on1 and talked1 that1 behold1 there appeared a chariot of fire1 and horses of fire1 and parted them both asunder2 and ,elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven4 ,,her ,,children ,,arise ,,up ,,and ,,call ,,her ,,blessed4--,prov4 xxxi4 #bh4 ,shall we weep or repine at the thought she is gone8 ,shall we mourn for the spirit at rest8 ,no6 her children1 though many1 united as one ,now arise to acknowledge her blest4 ,not the tongue of the world1 or the praises that dwelt ,on the lips of report are the test2 ,in the home1 where the warmth of her presence was felt1 ,must you ask if a mother was blest4 ,we arise6 we arise in the name of the ,lord1 ,who gave us the good we possess'd2 ,with one heart1 and one voice1 we unite to record ,our thanks for the mother ,he bless'd4 ,not a joy but was sweeter when she was in sight1 ,not a grief but we hid in her breast2 ,and she seemed unto us as an ,angel of ,light3 ,so happy the circle she blest4 ,we remember her counsels1 oft mingled with tears2 ,the truths by example express'd2 ,an inheritance rich1 is the wealth of her prayers3 ,is the child or the mother more blest8 ,by the light in her eye1 and the smile on her face2 ,by her song in the night1 when opprest6 ,by a thousand impressions we love to retrace3 ,we know that our mother was blest4 ,but the soul of her joy1 and its fulness she drew ,from the source of all others the best2 ,for she trusted in ,him1 who is faithful and true1 ,she delighted in ,god1 and was blest4 ,then1 why should we weep at the thought she is gone1 ,since we know she hath enter'd her rest8 ,no6 her children will follow1 united as one1 ,in her steps to the home of the blest1 ,j4,l4 ,,xxiv4 ,,pleasant ,,memories4 ,,the ,,memory ,,of ,,the ,,just ,,is ,,blessed1 ,prov4 x4 #g4 ,although the preceding pages will enable the reader to form a general estimate of ,mrs4 ,lyth's religious character1 the writer deems it necessary to add a concluding sketch1 partly for the purpose of recording some particulars which could not so well be introduced elsewhere1 and partly to supplement his own remarks1 which might otherwise be liable to the charge of partiality1 with a selection from the numerous testimonies with which he has been favoured by ,ministers and other friends4 ,in person ,mrs4 ,lyth was of middle stature1 slender1 and1 before years had subdued her physical strength1 straight as an arrow4 ,her complexion was fair1 and her features1 rather pointed than full1 were regular and well formed4 ,the eyes1 of light blue1 generally wore a calm and gentle expression1 but kindled with an unearthly light when conversing on divine subjects4 ,then her whole soul flashed in her countenance1 and her features1 lit as with sunshine1 indicated how deeply her spirit had drank of that stream which maketh glad the city of ,god4 ,her hair1 which in youth was of a rich auburn1 turned grey at the early age of thirty1 and at length its silvery hue was superseded by a snowy white1 which gave additional impressiveness to a countenance upon which happiness1 purity and peace sat continually enthroned4 ,her dress1 the perfection of neatness1 was modelled after the most approved style of the ,society of ,friends1 not as now1 modified and robbed of its interest by all-powerful fashion1 but as it existed in its original simplicity fifty years ago4 ,though not gifted with any remarkable powers of mind1 she possessed a sound and vigorous understanding1 which however1 was rather quick than penetrating4 ,this she improved by a considerable amount of good reading4 ,her choice of books was in harmony with the set purpose of her life1 and seldom surpassed the bounds of religious literature3 for while she had no sympathy with those little minds that1 on the pretence of greater religiousness despise human knowledge1 she steadily kept in view the rule she adopted in early life1 never to trifle with any book with which she had no immediate concern1 and consequently preferred those which1 while they informed the judgment1 were also calculated to impress the heart4 ,within this limit her reading was widely varied4 ,to the better class of biography1 she added poetry1 history1 philosophy1 and divinity4 ,her favourite poet was ,young1 from whom she often quoted at length2 her favourite divine1 ,wesley2 and her favourite book the ,bible4 ,this last she not uncommonly read upon her knees1 seeking the assistance and blessing of the ,holy ,spirit1 who is the best expositor of ,his own word4 ,her knowledge of scripture was remarkable1 and her apprehension of its great doctrines distinct and clear as noonday4 ,with increasing ardour she continued to dig in this inexhaustible mine of truth1 until the close of life1 and within the last three or four years waded through the greater part of ,henry's ,commentary4 ,her study of divine truth was mainly prosecuted with a view to its experience and practice2 and hence her piety assumed that rare and exalted character which develops itself evenly in all the various relations of life4 ,in her1 the image of ,christ was not1 as in too many instances1 caricatured2 but presented in its just and fair proportions2 and1 as a necessary consequence1 ,impressed all who came in contact with her with the certain conviction of its genuineness4 ,zealous in the church1 she was equally active and faithful at home4 ,little duties were not neglected on the pretext of performing others of a higher character4 ,by a strict economy of time1 which she prized more than1 gold2 by early rising1 method and punctuality1 she found time for everything2 so that her house was a pattern of neatness and order1 and her family was as well provided for as though she had no public duties to perform4 ,she looked well to her own household1 and ate not the bread of idleness4 ,naturally of an active temper of mind1 she was always employed2 and1 from an habitual consciousness of her responsibility1 well employed4 ,her hand was ready at every turn1 and knew nothing of that silly squeamishness which leads a woman to suppose that she demeans herself by meddling with household affairs4 ,fond of singing1 and possessed of a good voice1 she lightened her daily toil with the voice of song1 and discharged the humblest duties as a sacrifice well-pleasing to ,god4 ,her conscientiousness in little things was remarkable4 ,she was a determined enemy of all trifling and tittle-tattle1 as not only unbecoming the ,christian character1 but destructive of religious feeling2 and the consciousness of having uttered a useless word1 or engaged in unprofitable conversation1 always occasioned her pain4 ,among other peculiarities she displayed a singular aversion to debt1 and if by any means such an obligation1 however small1 was incurred1 she never rested until it was discharged4 ,the writer remembers on one occasion walking a couple of miles to pay the trifling sum of sixpence to a party1 who was at the time indebted to his father as many pounds4 ,notwithstanding the severity with which she judged her own actions1 her piety was entirely free from asceticism2--it was always cheerful1 recollected1 and heroic2 and in her intercourse with others1 characterised by great humility and christian courtesy4 ,in prayer she was simple and earnest1 zealous without passion1 and often particularized in the devotions of the family the special cases of its individual members4 ,her's was the cry of a child to its father1 the appeal for help1 that felt confident of success4 ,her prayers1 which were offered continually1 day and night1 might truly be said to be mighty2 and her children1 even when distant from her1 have often felt conscious that her intercessions were going up on their behalf4 ,but they were urged for many1--for all2 and in particular for the prosperity of ,zion1 and the ministers of divine truth4 ,the ,rev4 ,john ,hartley writes1 ,i feel that in your mother's removal ,i suffer loss4 ,i have seldom been more affected than when she told me1 on the last occasion of my seeing her1 that not a day passed without her pleading with ,god for me4 ,who am ,i1 ,i thought1 that this saint of ,god should thus remember me in her prayers8 ,her zeal in the cause of ,god was constant1 patient and persevering2 not as we sometimes see1 now bursting into a furious blaze1 and then dying away2 it burnt with a bright and steady flame1--being fed by the secret supplies she obtained through constant communion with ,god4 ,although ready for every good work1 and glad to take her share in the mere machinery of the ,christian church1 her chief aim was the salvation of souls4 ,this she never lost sight of1 and generally1 when collecting for ,missions or other benevolent objects1 availed herself of the opportunity of warning1 exhortation1 or prayer4 ,one who frequently accompanied her on such excursions says1 ,we called at every house in the district4 ,some of the people were exceedingly poor4 ,at one door ,i said1 ',mrs4 ,lyth1 you will not beg here4' ,her reply was1 ',it is my duty to ask them1 if they give us but a penny1 it will not lose its reward4' ,in another case the people were ,roman ,catholics2 she at once exhorted them to come direct to ,christ1 and not allow the priest to come betwixt them and the ,savior4 ,in a third1 where a member of the family was sick1 we went in1 and ,mrs4 ,lyth prayed4 ,another writes1 ,i first became acquainted with her about #ahbc1 and have always found her the same consistent character4 ,she assisted me in the formation of my class in ,acomb4 ,her visits to us were always welcome and profitable4 ,her eye was single4 ,she had light in her own soul1 and it shone in every society in which she was cast4 ,many a round we have had together among the villagers1 to beseech them to be reconciled to ,god4 ,in this work she went1 perhaps1 even beyond her strength1 that sinners might be brought into the fold of ,christ4 ,she rejoiced to lend a helping-hand to the seeking soul2 warning the unruly1 comforting the feeble-minded1 and encouraging believers to seek after a full devotion of heart and life to the service of ,christ4 ,her faithfulness in the administration of reproof was exemplary2 and though naturally of a retiring disposition1 in the defence of truth and the cause of her ,master she became bold and fearless4 ,her ready pen1 for to the last she wrote a clear and steady hand1 was often in requisition to administer counsel1 encouragement1 or consolation4 ,whatever might be said of her bodily presence1 her letters were powerful1 and1 as they were accompanied with believing effectual prayer1 seldom failed to produce a happy effect4 ,the writer much regrets that the prescribed limits of this volume precludes the introduction of extracts from the voluminous correspondence placed in his hands4 ,it is sufficient to say here that her letters strikingly exhibit her oneness of purpose4 ,in all without exception1 the one thing is prominent1 and although ordinary topics are not overlooked1 they are invariably turned to good account1 and made the basis of apposite and profitable reflection4 ,one of her correspondents observes3 ,her letters were always refreshing to me1 and brought my mind in immediate contact with one who lived in the spirit of prayer and general devotedness4 ,i never knew one1 so far as my observation went1 who more constantly exhibited a oneness of aim to glorify ,god1 and promote the welfare of those with whom she came in contact4 ,some might object1 some might smile1 but there was a holy force of spiritual life in her1 which could not be concealed1 and which made itself felt everywhere ,my dear friend was as attentive to family duties as though the church had no claim upon her2 and ,i have often dwelt upon her character when far1 far away4 ,i have heard her regret that she did not more fully manifest tender affection1 when her heart was fall of love4 ,i need not say how rousing ,i found her remarks1 uttered in an humble gentle tone and manner2 and how often ,i have been taken into her closet to pray for many1 particularly her distant son4 ,another says3 ,i have been perusing some of her letters1 which ,i value above gold4 ,through them all1 breathes the same spirit of ardent love to ,jesus1 with a deep sense of her own helplessness4 ,her character was that of an humble soul constantly living tinder the rays of the ,sun of righteousness4 ,i have often heard her express fears concerning herself1 but never doubting the faithfulness of ,jesus1 in whom she trusted4 ,since ,i had the happiness of knowing her--which is more than thirty years--,i have seen nothing but what ,i could love and admire4 ,i have often been thankful that my lot was cast so near her in years gone by4 ,some of my most hallowed moments have been when bowed with her at the throne of grace4 ,under all circumstances she proved herself my friend2 by her strong faith in ,god she encouraged me to trust1 where ,i could not trace1 the dispensations of ,providence2 often comforted my mind by an appropriate passage of ,god's word1 and by her simple and earnest pleadings at the throne of grace1 led me nearer to the mercy-seat4 ,i owe much to the memory of my precious friend2 and her example has often stimulated me to increased diligence4 ,how forcibly did she remind others of the treasures of religion6 ,plain in reproof1 she was yet so transparent1 that none could be offended with her faithful dealings4 ,the department of usefulness in which she chiefly delighted1 and for which she was pre-eminently qualified1 was1 perhaps1 the class-meeting2 upon this service she entered at first with considerable hesitation1 but eventually conducted three large classes1 besides forming several others4 ,during my somewhat lengthened ministerial life1 says the ,rev4 ,john ,rattenbury1 ,i have met with no female class-leader1 that surpassed1 and with but few that equalled1 your sainted mother4 ,her religious character was beautifully moulded by the ,divine ,spirit4 ,tranquil1 fervent1 spiritual1 devoted2 she was a pattern to her people3 she was successful in attracting people to the ,society1 and what is of more importance1 and perhaps more difficult1 she was successful in retaining them4 ,her classes1 though large1 were well preserved1 and seldom did the column for backsliders gain addition from them4 ,she was of the earlier school of ,methodists1 and combined the simplicity1 plainness1 and fervour of the past age1 with the generous and more aggressive spirit of the present4 ,one of her members says3 ,it was my privilege to be a member of her class about eight years4 ,she was both deep and clear in her own experience1 and never failed to impress upon her members the necessity of daily growth in grace2 and was especially faithful1 in warning them against worldliness and trifling4 ,in her we had a pattern worthy of imitation4 ,as respects the improvement of time and talent1 she was always well employed1 and ever had for her object1 the good of others4 ,another writes3 ,as a class-leader1 ,mrs4 ,lyth appeared to stand almost alone--talented1 punctual1 humble1 and faithful4 ,once she reproved a young person in my presence for frequently neglecting the class4 ,when she had finished speaking and the party was gone1 she turned to me and said1 ',i think ,i was faithful with ,elizabeth1' ',yes1 ',i replied1 'and rather sharp2' she answered1 ',i don't want to have the blood of any of you on my skirt1' ,as to her general ,christian character and usefulness1 the following testimonies by the pens of well-known and esteemed ,ministers1 will be read with interest4 ,the first is from the venerable ,wm4 ,naylor1 and refers to a period of more than forty years ago4 ,though many years have passed over since ,i was stationed in ,york1 the remembrance of your esteemed mother is very refreshing to my mind4 ,i place her among the most excellent of the pious females of our ,society1 that it has been my privilege and happiness to number amongst my intimate friends4 ,her piety was genuine1 and her experience rich in the enjoyment of close and constant communion with ,god4 ,i admired her oneness of character and disposition--ever the same2 in sickness and trial1 calm and submissive1 confiding in the love of the ,saviour2 and in health1 delighting to do good to the needy and sick2 her religion was not the excitement of momentary feeling1 it was the habitual principle and power of grace4 ,in disposition she was kind and cheerful2 but it never degenerated into levity1 and few have more fully exemplified the ,christian rule of rejoicing with those that do rejoice1 and weeping with those that weep4 ,the ,rev4 ,luke ,wiseman writes3 ,my acquaintance with your mother was during the last three years of her life4 ,on arriving in the ,york ,circuit1 she was among the first who were mentioned to me as pillars in the ,church1 and ',mothers in ,israel4' ,i heard her name mentioned with respect by many1 who are themselves entitled to the highest regard1 sad was thus prepared1 before being introduced to her1 to meet with a venerable1 and lively disciple of our common ,lord4 ,nor was ,i disappointed4 ,what she was in her years of maturity others can relate4 ,in her days of bodily decline1 and feebleness1 ,i saw in her a beautiful specimen of a child of grace nearing the heavenly home4 ,her appearance1 worn1 and somewhat shrivelled1 yet retained marked traces of uncommon energy4 ,her features sharpened by age1 equally indicated penetration1 and benevolence4 ,her voice was still good1 her utterance remarkably distinct1 and when she spoke of the things of ,christ1 it was with no subdued or half-abashed tone1 but with the same full1 clear1 cheerful voice4 ,it was impossible to doubt that her heart was full of heavenly treasure from her very manner of speaking of divine things1--easy1 energetic1 unforced1 graceful4 ,i am afraid1 that being so far below her in divine knowledge1 my visits may have been of but little benefit to her3 but however this may be1 they were of great benefit to myself4 ,she shewed an ardent love for the cause of ,christ1 for ,his ministers1 and for all ,his people4 ,she appeared to feel being laid aside from active work1 and amongst her many inquiries about the ,society1 she would now and then utter an expression of regret1 that she was now no more amongst them as formerly4 ,she had a very clear conception of christian doctrine1 and ,i believe an equally clear1 and satisfying joy and peace through being consciously accepted in ,christ4 ,i never passed by her house1 so far as ,i can recollect1 without some such thought as this while going by1 ',within these doors dwells one whom ,jesus loves4' ,for the following we are indebted to the courtesy of the ,rev4 ,p4 ,mc,owan4 ,mrs4 ,lyth was in the decline of life before it was my happiness to form her acquaintance2 and consequently ,i am but ill able to do justice to her christian character1 or to point out the various modes of faithful pitying love1 by which she endeavoured in her years of prime to glorify ,god1 and serve her generation4 ,it was impossible1 however1 to visit her1 even in her invalid state1 without being impressed with her mental power1 eminent piety1 and scriptural intelligence2 without discerning that she was a 'mother in ,israel4' ,in my own case1 these impressions were so deep1 that1 though in my intercourse with her ,i had to sustain the ,pastor's part1 ,i often1 from choice1 occupied the seat of the learner4 ,her favourite themes of discourse1 were the love of ,god in ,christ ,jesus1 the grace and wisdom of ,divine ,providence1 the great and precious promises1 christian experience1 missions to the heathen1 and the revival and extension of the work of ,god in the earth4 ,i frequently proposed questions to elicit her views on these and kindred topics2 and when1 drawn out in conversation1 she often gave utterance to weighty and discriminating thoughts1 judicious counsels1 animating recollections of the past1 and bright anticipations of the future4 ,intercourse with her was truly a means of grace2 and ,i generally left her glorifying ,god on her account1 and longing for a double portion of her spirit4 ,mrs4 ,lyth1 like all who excel in piety1 was a diligent and devout student of the book of ,god4 ,she not only read the scriptures1 but she searched them2 she pondered their import1 and meditated in them day and night4 ,the result was1 the word of ,god dwelt in her richly1 in all wisdom1 so that she was able to teach and admonish others with singular propriety and power4 ,her accurate and extensive acquaintance with the scriptures gave a richness and impressiveness to her conversation1 which awed the trifler1 edified the thoughtful1 and shed light and comfort upon the minds of anxious inquirers4 ,many of her own sex resorted to her for counsel as to an oracle2 and as she generally joined in prayer with her inquiring friends1 her advices and cautions became in numerous instances1 as a nail fastened in a sure place4 ,her love for the ,sanctuary amounted almost to a passion4 ,in her inner life it stood identified with vivid views of saving truth2 rich manifestations of ,divine love1 and transforming effusions of sanctifying grace4 ,when in health1 neither weather1 nor company1 nor any surmountable obstacle1 could keep her at home1 when it was open for worship2 and when enfeebled by age1 she sought to improve each gleam of sunshine1 and each interval of returning strength1 by paying another visit to the sacred shrine1 as if she thought each one might be the last4 ,having yielded up her son at the call of the ,church to the perils of a ,missionary life1 in a land of cannibals1 she never revoked the gift1 neither grudged the sacrifice4 ,her maternal yearnings were often excited by the narration of his sufferings and privations2 but they were never suffered to rise in mutinous rebellion against the ,divine will4 ,for nearly twenty-two years she not only submitted to his absence with uncomplaining meekness1 but she abounded in thanksgivings on his account1 and gloried in the sacrificial services he was enabled to render to the cause of the ,redeemer1 in the high places of the field4 ,mrs4 ,lyth's religion made her habitually happy4 ,fully assured of her acceptance in the ,beloved1 walking daily in the liberty of the children of ,god1 and exercising herself to have always a conscience void of offence1 the smile of contentment rested on her countenance2 benignity beamed in her eye2 the law of love regulated her speech1 while kindness1 courtesy1 and a cheerful urbanity1 marked the whole of her deportment4 ,in her dress she was simple1 neat and economical4 ,in her habits1 she was a pattern of order1 early rising1 diligence1 promptitude1 and punctuality4 ,possessing inward peace1 she was calm1 self-possessed1 firm1 and full of trust in the providence of ,god4 ,doing one thing at a time1 and always intent upon doing that thing well1 she accomplished a great amount of holy service2 was seldom in a hurry1 and always in time at the ,sanctuary and ,class-meeting4 ,with such traits of character1 and modes of action1 it will not excite surprise that she became a centre of religions influence in the community to which she belonged4 ,the sick sought her prayers1 persons in spiritual distress1 and temporal perplexity1 applied to her for advice2 the poor appealed to her for relief1 the young listened to her counsels1 and those who were intent upon obtaining a full salvation1 coveted her friendship1 strove to imbibe her spirit1 and to imitate her example4 ,in age and feebleness extreme1 she was divinely supported by her ,saviour's might2 and was cheered by ,his love1 and the hope of beholding ,his glory4 ,no murmuring word escaped her lips1 no sign of impatience was visible in her appearance and manner2 but expressions of gratitude1 praise1 and thanksgiving1 flowed from her tongue1 and indicated the peacefulness and purity of her mind4 ,on her death-bed ,i found her calmly resting on the merits of her ,redeemer4 ,her countenance was full of interest1 a placid smile rested upon it1 and but for her laborious breathing1 and interrupted utterances1 hopes might have been entertained that she would yet be spared1 she was herself hopefully waiting the hour of her dismissal2 yet there was one earthly wish1 which she breathed out in meek submission to her heavenly ,father1 not yet gratified2 that was1 that she might once more see her ,missionary son1 before she quitted the clay tabernacle4 ,prayer was offered1 and among other petitions it was urged1 that her maternal desire might be granted4 ,she lingered on the border land1 till he arrived1 and soon after having kissed him1 and blessed all present1 she fell asleep in ,jesus2 the last accents of her lips being those of praise1 adoration1 and filial confidence4 ,we conclude these notices by the following kind words of condolence from the ,rev4 ,m4,c4 ,taylor4 ,i cannot resist saying how much ,i was affected by the tidings of the passing away of your sainted mother2 not that ,i could mourn for her1 but ,i felt deprived and bereaved of one of the most lovely and touching pictures of grace ,i have ever seen2 and ,i mourned for myself4 ,her name and memory are an inheritance indeed4 ,to have known her will be an honour and joy for ever1--to have belonged to her is more than great riches4 ,hundreds are this week glorifying ,god in her4 ,,london3 ,,printed ,,by ,,george ,,palmer1 ,,brownlow ,,street1 ,,high ,,holborn4 ,by the same ,author1 ,,the ,,living ,,sacrifice2 ,,or1 ,a ,,biographical ,,notice ,,of ,,sarah ,,bentley1 ,,of ,,york4 ,published by ,,john ,,mason1 #ff1 ,,paternoster ,,row1 and may be had of all ,booksellers4