,,the ,,little ,,pilgrim3               
,further ,experiences                   
,by ,margaret ,o4 7,wilson7 ,oliphant   
,i4    ,,the ,,little ,,pilgrim ,,in    
,,the ,,seen ,,and ,,unseen4      ,the  
little ,pilgrim1 whose story has been   
told in another place1 and who  had     
arrived but lately on the other side1   
among those who know trouble  and sorrow
 no more1 was one whose heart was always
 full of pity for the  suffering4 ,and  
after the first rapture of her arrival1 
and of the blessed  work which had been 
given to her to do1 and all the         
wonderful things she  had learned of the
 new life1 there returned to her in the 
midst of her  happiness so many         
questions and longing thoughts that     
,they were touched  by them who have the
 care of the younger brethren1 the      
simple ones of  heaven4 ,these questions
 did not disturb her peace or joy1 for  
she knew  that which is so often veiled 
on earth1--that all is accomplished by  
the  will of the ,father1 and that      

nothing can happen but according to ,his
  appointment and under ,his care4 ,and 
she was also aware that the end  is as  
the beginning to ,him who knows all1 and
 that nothing is lost that  is in ,his  
hand4 ,but though she would herself have
 willingly borne the  sufferings of     
earth ten times over for the sake of all
 that was now hers1  yet it pierced her 
soul to think of those who were         
struggling in  darkness1 and whose      
hearts were stifled within them by all  
the bitterness  of the mortal life4     
,sometimes she would be ready to cry out
 with wonder  that the ,lord did not    
hasten ,his steps and go down again upon
 the earth  to make all plain2 or how   
the ,father himself could restrain ,his 
power1  and did not send down ten       
legions of angels to make all that was  
wrong  right1 and turn all that was     
mournful into joy4    ',it is but for a 
little time1' said her companions4      
',when we have reached  this place we   
remember no more the anguish4' ',but to 

them in their  trouble it does not seem 
a little time1' the ,pilgrim  said4 ,and
 in her  heart there rose a great       
longing4 ,oh that ,he would send me6    
that ,i might  tell my brethren1--not   
like the poor man in the land of        
darkness1 of the  gloom and misery of   
that distant place1 but a happier       
message1 of the  light and brightness of
 this1 and how soon all pain would be   
over4 ,she  would not put this into a   
prayer1 for she knew that to refuse a   
prayer  is pain to the ,father1 if in   
,his great glory any pain can be4 ,and  
then  she reasoned with herself and     
said1 ',what can ,i tell them1 except   
that  all will soon be well8 and this   
they know1 for our ,lord has said it2   
but  ,i am like them1 and ,i do not     
understand4'    ,one fair morning while 
she turned over these thoughts in her   
mind there  suddenly came towards her   
one whom she knew as a sage1 of the     
number of  those who know many mysteries
 and search into the deep things of the 

,father4 ,for a moment she wondered if  
perhaps he came to reprove her for  too 
many questionings1 and rose up and      
advanced a little towards him with      
folded hands and a thankful heart1 to   
receive the reproof if it should be     
so1--for whether it were praise or      
whether it were blame1 it was from the  
,father1 and a great honor and happiness
 to receive4 ,but as he came  towards   
her he smiled and bade her not to fear4 
',i am come1' he said1 'to  tell you    
some things you long to know1 and to    
show you some things that  are hidden to
 most4 ,little sister1 you are not to be
 charged with any  mission--'    ',oh1  
no1' she said1 'oh1 no4 ,i was not so   
presuming--'    ',it is not presuming to
 wish to carry comfort to any soul2 but 
it is  permitted to me to open up to    
you1 so far as ,i may1 some of the      
secrets4  ,the secrets of the ,father   
are all beautiful1 but there is sorrow  
in them  as well as joy2 and ,pain1 you 
know1 is one of the great angels at the 

door4'    ',is his name ,pain8 and ,i   
took him for ,consolation6' the little  
,pilgrim  said4    ',he is not          
,consolation2 he is the schoolmaster    
whose face is often stern4  ,but ,i did 
not come to tell you of him whom you    
know2 ,i am going to take  you--back1'  
the wise man said4    ',back6' ,she knew
 what this meant1 and a great pleasure1 
yet mingled with  fear1 came into her   
mind4 ,she hesitated1 and looked at him1
 and did not  know how to accept1 though
 she longed to do so1 for at the same   
time she  was afraid4 ,he smiled when he
 saw the alarm in her face4    ',do you 
think1' he said1 'that you are to go    
this journey on your own  charges8 ,had 
you insisted1 as some do1 to go at all  
hazards1 you might  indeed have feared4 
,and even now ,i cannot promise that you
 will not feel  the thorns of the earth 
as you pass2 but you will be cared for1 
so that  no harm can come4'    ',ah1'   
she said wistfully1 'it is not for      
harm--' and could say nothing  more4    

,he laid his hand upon her arm1 and he  
said1 ',do not fear2 though they see    
you not1 it is yet sweet for a moment to
 be there1 and as you pass1 it  brings  
thoughts of you to their minds4'    ,for
 these two understood each other1 and   
knew that to see and yet not be  seen is
 only a pleasure for those who are most 
like the ,father1 and can  love without 
thought of love in return4    ,when he  
touched her1 it seemed to the little    
,pilgrim suddenly that  everything      
changed round her1 and that she was no  
longer in her own  place1 but walking   
along a weary length of road4 ,it was   
narrow and rough1  and the skies were   
dim2 and as she went on by the side of  
her guide she  saw houses and gardens   
which were to her like the houses that  
children  build1 and the little gardens 
in which they sow seeds and plant       
flowers1  and take them up again to see 
if they are growing4 ,she turned to the 
,sage1 saying1 ',what are--8' and then  
stopped and gazed again1 and burst  out 

into something that was between laughing
 and tears4 ',for it is home1'  she     
cried1 'and ,i did not know it6 dear    
home6' ,her heart was remorseful1  as if
 she had wounded the little diminished  
place4    ',this is what happens with   
those who have been living in the king's
  palaces1' he said with a smile4       
',but ,i love it dearly1 ,i love it     
dearly6' the little ,pilgrim said1      
stretching out her hands as if for      
pardon4 ,he smiled at her1 consoling    
her2 and then his face changed and grew 
very grave4    ',little sister1' he     
said1 'you have come not to see         
happiness but pain4  ,we want no        
explanation of the joy1 for that flows  
freely from the heart  of the ,father1  
and all is clear between us and ,him2   
but that which you  desire to know is   
why trouble should be4 ,therefore you   
must think of ,him  and be strong1 for  
here is what will rend your heart4'     
,the little ,pilgrim was seized once    
more with mortal fear4 ',o friend1' she 

cried1 ',i have done with pain4 ,must ,i
 go and see others suffering and do     
nothing for them8'    ',if anything     
comes into your heart to do or say1 it  
will be well for  them1' the ,sage      
replied3 and he took her by the hand and
 led her into a  house she knew4 ,she   
began to know them all now1 as her      
vision became  accustomed to the        
atmosphere of the earth4 ,she perceived 
that the sun was  shining1 though it had
 appeared so dim1 and that it was a     
clear summer  morning1 very early1 with 
still the colors of the dawn in the     
east4 ,when  she went indoors1 at first 
she saw nothing1 for the room was       
darkened1  the windows all closed1 and a
 miserable watch-light only burning4 ,in
 the  bed there lay a child whom she    
knew4 ,she knew them all1--the mother at
  the bedside1 the father near the door1
 even the nurse who was flitting  about 
disturbing the silence4 ,her heart gave 
a great throb when she  recognized them 
all2 and though she had been glad for   

the first moment to  think that she had 
come just in time to give welcome to a  
little brother  stepping out of earth   
into the better country1 a shadow of    
trouble and  pain enveloped her when she
 saw the others and remembered and knew4
 ,for  he was their beloved child2 on   
all the earth there was nothing they    
held  so dear4 ,they would have given up
 their home and all they possessed1 and 
become poor and homeless and wanderers  
with joy1 if ,god1 as they said1  would 
have but spared their child4 ,she saw   
into their hearts and read all  this    
there2 and knowing them1 she knew it    
without even that insight4  ,everything 
they would have given up and rejoiced1  
if but they might have  kept him4 ,and  
there he lay1 and was about to die4 ,the
 little ,pilgrim  forgot all but the    
pity of it1 and their hearts that were  
breaking1 and  the vacant place that was
 soon to be4 ,she cried out aloud upon  
the ,father  with a great cry4 ,she     
forgot that it was a grief to ,him in   

,his great  glory to refuse4    ,there  
came no reply2 but the room grew light  
as with a reflection out of  heaven1 and
 the child in the bed1 who had been     
moving restlessly in the  weariness of  
ending life1 turned his head towards    
her1 and his eyes  opened wide1 and he  
saw her where she stood4 ,he cried out1 
',look6 mother1  mother6' ,the mother1  
who was on her knees by the bedside1    
lifted her head  and cried1 ',what is   
it1 what is it1 ,o my darling8' and the 
father1 who  had turned away his face   
not to see the child die1 came nearer to
 the  bed1 hoping they knew not what4   
,their faces were paler than the face of
  the dying1 upon which there was light2
 but no light came to them out of  the  
hidden heaven4 ',look6 she has come for 
me1' he said2 but his voice  was so weak
 they could not hear him1 nor take any  
comfort4 ,at this the  little ,pilgrim  
put out her arms to him1 forgetting in  
her joy the poor  people who were       
mourning1 and cried out1 ',oh1 but ,i   

must go with him6 ,i  must take him     
home6' ,for this was her own work1 and  
she thought of her  wonderings and her  
questions no more4    ,some one touched 
her on the shoulder1 and she looked     
round2 and behind  her was a great      
company of the dear children from the   
better country1  whom the ,father had   
sent1 and not her1--lest he should      
grieve for those  he had left           
behind1--to come for the child and show 
him the way4 ,she  paused for a moment1 
scarcely willing to give him up2 but    
then her  companion touched her and     
pointed to the other side4 ,ah1 that was
  different6 ,the mother lay by the side
 of the bed1 her face turned only to    
the little white body which her child   
had dropped from him as he came out  of 
his sickness1--her eyes wild with       
misery1 without tears2 her feverish     
mouth open1 but no cry in it4 ,the sword
 of the angel had gone through and      
through her4 ,she did not even writhe   
upon it1 but lay motionless1 cut  down1 

dumb with anguish4 ,the father had      
turned round again and leaned his  head 
upon the wall4 ,all was over1--all over6
 ,the love and the hope of a  dozen     
lovely years1 the little sweet          
companion1 the daily joy1 the future    
trust--all--over--as if a child had     
never been born4 ,then there rose in    
the stillness a great and exceeding     
bitter cry1 ',god6' that was all1       
pealing up to heaven1 to the ,father1   
whom they could not see in their        
anguish1 accusing ,him1 reproaching ,him
 who had done it4 ,was ,he their  enemy 
that ,he had done it8 ,no man was ever  
so wicked1 ever so cruel but  he would  
have spared them their boy1--taken      
everything and spared them  their boy2  
but ,god1 ,god6 ,the little ,pilgrim    
stood by and wept4 ,she could  do       
nothing but weep1 weep1 her heart aching
 with the pity and the  anguish4 ,how   
were they to be told that it was not    
,god1 but the ,father2  that ,god was   
only ,his common name1 ,his name in law1

 and that ,he was the  ,father4 ,this   
was all she could think of2 she had not 
a word to say4 ,and  the boy had shaken 
his little bright soul out of the       
sickness and the  weakness with such a  
look of delight6 ,he knew in a moment6  
,but they--oh1  when1 when would they   
know8    ,presently she sat outside in  
the soft breathing airs and little      
morning  breezes1 and dried her aching  
eyes4 ,and the ,sage who was her        
companion  soothed her with kind words4 
',i said you would feel the thorns as   
you  passed1' he said4 ',we cannot be   
free of them1 we who are of mankind4'   
',but oh1' she cried amid her tears1    
'why1--why8 ,the air of the earth is  in
 my eyes1 ,i cannot see4 ,oh1 what pain 
it is1 what misery6 ,was it  because    
they loved him too much1 and that he    
drew their hearts away8'    ,the ,sage  
only shook his head at her1 smiling4    
',can one love too much8' he  said4     
',o brother1 it is very hard to live and
 to see another--,i am confused in  my  

mind1' said the little ,pilgrim1 putting
 her hand to her eyes4 ',the  tears of  
those that weep have got into my soul4  
,to live and see another  die1--that was
 what ,i was saying2 but the child lives
 like you and me4  ,tell me1 for ,i am  
confused in my mind4'    ',listen6' said
 the ,sage2 and when she listened she   
heard the sound of the  children going  
back with a great murmur and ringing of 
pleasant voices  like silver bells in   
the air1 and among them the voice of the
 child  asking a thousand questions1    
calling them by their names4 ,the two   
pilgrims listened and laughed to each   
other for love at the sound of the      
children4 ',is it for the little brother
 that you are troubled8' the ,sage  said
 in her ear4    ,then she was ashamed1  
and turned from the joyful sounds that  
were  ascending ever higher and higher  
to the little house that stood below1   
with all its windows closed upon the    
light4 ,it was wrapped in darkness      
though the sun was shining1 the windows 

closed as if they never would  open     
more1 and the people within turning     
their faces to the wall1  covering their
 eyes that they might not see the light 
of day4 ',o  miserable day6' they were  
saying2 ',o dark hour6 ,o life that will
 never  smile again6' ,she sat between  
earth and heaven1 her eyes smiling1 but 
her  mouth beginning to quiver once     
more4 ',is it to raise their thoughts   
and  their hearts8' she said4           
',little sister1' said he1 'when the    
,father speaks to you1 it is not for  me
 nor for another that ,he speaks4 ,and  
what ,he says to you is--' ',ah1'  said 
the little ,pilgrim1 with joy1 'it is   
for myself1 myself alone6 ,as if  ,i    
were a great angel1 as if ,i were a     
saint4 ,it drops into my heart like  the
 dew4 ,it is what ,i need1 not for you1 
though ,i love you1 but for me  only4   
,it is my secret between me and ,him4'  
,her companion bowed his head4 ',it is  
so4 ,and thus has ,he spoken to the     
little child4 ,but what ,he said or why 

,he said it1 is not for you or me to    
know4 ,it is ,his secret2 it is between 
the little one and his ,father4 ,who    
can interfere between these two8 ,many  
and many are there born on earth  whose 
work and whose life are ordained        
elsewhere1--for there is no way of      
entrance into the race of man which is  
the nature of the ,lord1 but by the     
gates of birth2 and the work which the  
,father has to do is so great and       
manifold that there are multitudes who  
do but pass through those gates to      
ascend to their work elsewhere4 ,but the
 ,father alone knows whom he has        
chosen4 ,it is between the child and    
,him4 ,it is their secret2 it is as you 
have said4'    ,the little ,pilgrim was 
silent for a moment1 but then turned her
 head from  the bright shining of the   
skies and the voices of the children    
which  floated farther and farther off1 
and looked at the house in which there  
was sorrow and despair4 ,she pointed    
towards it1 and looked at him who was   

her instructor1 and had come to show her
 how these things were4    ',they are to
 blame1' he said2 'but none will blame  
them4 ,the little life  is hard4 ,the   
,father1 though ,he is very near1 seems 
far off2 and sometimes  even ,his word  
is as a dream4 ,it is to them as if they
 had lost their  child4 ,can you not    
remember8--that was what we said4 ,we   
have lost--'    ,then the little        
,pilgrim1 musing1 began to smile1 but   
wept again as she  thought of the father
 and the mother4 ',if we were to go1'   
she said1 'hand  in hand1 you and ,i1   
and tell them that the ,father had need 
of him1 that  it was not for the little 
life but for the great and beautiful    
world  above that the child was born2   
and that he had got great promotion and 
was gone with the princes and the angels
 according as was ordained8  ,and why   
should they mourn8 ,let us go and tell  
them--'    ,he shook his head4 ',they   
could not see us2 they would not know   
us4 ,we  should be to them as dreams4   

,if they do not take comfort from our   
,lord1  how could they take comfort from
 you and me8 ,we could not bring them   
back  their child4 ,they want their     
child1 not only to know that all is well
  with him1--for they know that all is  
well with him1--but what they want  is  
their child4 ,they are to blame2 but who
 shall blame them8 ,not any one  that is
 born of woman4 ,how can we tell them   
what is the ,father's secret  and the   
child's8'    ',and yet we could tell    
them why it must be so8' said the little
 ,pilgrim4  ',for they prayed and       
besought the ,lord4 ,o brother1 ,i have 
no  understanding4 ,for the ,lord said1 
,ask1 and it shall be given you2 and    
they asked1 yet they are refused4'      
',little sister1 the ,father must judge 
between ,his children2 and he must      
first be heard who is most concerned4   
,while they were praying1 the ,father   
and the child talked together and said  
what we know not2 but this we  know1    
that his heart was satisfied with that  

which was said to him4 ,must  not the   
,father do what is best for the child   
,he loves1 whatever the other  children 
may say8 ,nay1 did not our own fathers  
do this on earth1 and we  submitted to  
them2 how much more ,he who sees all8'  
,the little ,pilgrim stole softly from  
his side when he had done speaking1  and
 went back into the darkened house1 and 
saw the mother where she sat  weeping   
and refusing to be comforted1 in her    
sorrow perceiving not heaven  nor any   
consolation1 nor understanding that her 
child had gone joyfully  to his ,father 
and her ,father1 as his soul had        
required1 and as the ,lord  had willed4 
,yet though she had not joy but only    
anguish in her faith1 and  though her   
eyes were darkened that she could not   
see1 yet the woman  ceased not to call  
upon ,god1 ,god1 and to hold by ,him who
 had smitten her4  ,and the father of   
the child had gone into his chamber and 
shut the door1  and sat dumb1 opening   
not his mouth1 thinking upon his        

delightsome boy1  and how they had      
walked together and talked together1 and
 should do so  again nevermore4 ,and in 
their hearts they reproached their ,god1
 the giver  of all1 and accused the     
,lord to ,his face1 as if ,he had       
deceived them1 yet  clung to ,him still1
 weeping and upbraiding1 and would not  
let ,him go4 ,the  little ,pilgrim wept 
too1 and said many things to them which 
they could  not hear4 ,but when she saw 
that though they were in darkness and   
misery1  ,god was in all their thoughts1
 she bethought herself suddenly of what 
the  poet had said in the celestial     
city1 and of the songs he sang1 which   
were  a wonder to the ,angels and       
,powers1 of the little life and the     
sorrowful  earth1 where men endured all 
things1 yet overcame by the name of the 
,lord4 ,when this came into her mind1   
she rose up again softly with a  sacred 
awe1 and wept not1 but did them         
reverence2 for without any light  or    
guidance in their anguish they yet      

wavered not1 died not1 but endured1  and
 in the end would overcome4 ,it seemed  
to her that she saw the great  beautiful
 angels looking on1 the great souls that
 are called to love and  to serve1 but  
not to suffer like the little brethren  
of the earth2 and  that among the       
princes of heaven there was reverence   
and awe1 and even  envy of those who    
thus had their garments bathed in blood1
 and suffered  loss and pain and misery1
 yet never abandoned their life and the 
work  that had been given them to do4   
,as she came forth again comforted1 she 
found the ,sage standing with his  face 
lifted to heaven1 smiling still at the  
sound1 though faint and  distant1 of the
 children all calling to each other and 
shouting together  as they reached the  
gate4 ',oh1 hush6' she said2 'let not   
the mother hear  them6 for it will make 
her heart more bitter to think she can  
never hear  again her child's voice4'   
',but it is her child's voice1' he said2
 then very gently1 'they are to  blame2 

but no one will be found to blame them  
either in earth or heaven4'    ,the     
earth pilgrims went far after this1 yet 
more softly than when they  first left  
their beautiful country1--for then the  
little ,pilgrim had been  glad1         
believing that as all had been made     
clear to her in her own life1  so that  
all that concerned the life of man      
should be made clear2 but this  was more
 hard and encompassed with pain and     
darkness1 as that which is in  the doing
 is always more hard to understand than 
that which is  accomplished4 ,and she   
learned now what she had not understood1
 though her  companion warned her1 how  
sharp are those thorns of earth that    
pierce the  wayfarer's foot1 and that   
those who come back cannot help but     
suffer  because of love and             
fellow-feeling4 ,and she learned that   
though she could  smile and give thanks 
to the ,father in the recollection of   
her own griefs  that were past1 yet     
those that are present are too poignant1

 and to look  upon others in their hour 
of darkness makes ,his ways more hard to
  comprehend than even when the sorrow  
is your own4    ,while she mused thus1  
there was suddenly revealed to her      
another sight4  ,they had gone far      
before they came to this new scene4     
,night had crept  over the skies all    
gray and dark2 and the sea came in with 
a whisper  which sounded to some like   
the hush of peace1 and to some like the 
voice  of sorrow and moaning1 and to    
some was but the monotony of endless    
recurrence1 in which was no soul4 ,the  
skies were dark overhead1 but  opened   
with a clear shining of light which had 
no color1 towards the  west1--for the   
sun had long gone down1 and it was      
night4 ,the two  travellers perceived a 
woman who came out of a house all lit   
with lamps  and firelight1 and took the 
lonely path towards the sea4 ,and the   
little  ,pilgrim knew her1 as she had   
known the father and mother in the      
darkened  house1 and would have joined  

her with a cry of pleasure2 but she     
remembered that the friend could not see
 her or hear her1 being wrapped  still  
in the mortal body1 and in a close      
enveloping mantle of thoughts  and      
cares4 ,the ,sage made her a sign to    
follow1 and these two tender  companions
 accompanied her who saw them not1      
walking darkling by the  silent way4    
,the heart of the woman was heavy in her
 breast4 ,it was so  sore by reason of  
trouble1 and for all the bitter wounds  
of the past1 and  all the fears that    
beset her life to come1 that she walked1
 not weeping  because of being beyond   
tears1 but as it were bleeding1 her     
thoughts  being in her little way like  
those of ,his upon whose brow there once
  stood drops as it were of blood2 and  
out of her heart there came a  moaning  
which was without words4 ,if words had  
been possible1 they would  have been as 
,his also1 who said1 ',father1 forgive  
them1 for they know not  what they do4' 
,for those who had wounded her were     

those whom in all the  world she loved  
most dear2 and the quivering of anguish 
was in her as she  walked1 seeking the  
darkness and the silence1 and to hide   
herself1 if  that might be1 from her own
 thoughts4 ,she went along the lonely   
path with  the stinging of her wounds so
 keen and sharp that all her body and   
soul  were as one pain4 ,greater grief  
hath no man than this1 to be slain and  
tortured by those whom he loves4 ,when  
her soul could speak1 this was what  it 
said ',father1 forgive them6 ,father1   
save them6' ,she had no strength  for   
more4    ,this the heavenly pilgrims    
saw1--for they stood by her as in their 
own  country1 where every thought is    
clear1 and saw her heart4 ,but as they  
followed her and looked into her        
soul--with their hearts1 which were     
human too1 wrung at the sight of hers in
 its anguish--there suddenly  became    
visible before them a strange sight such
 as they had never seen  before4 ,it was
 like the rising of the sun2 but it was 

not the sun4  ,suddenly into the heart  
upon which they looked there came a     
great silence  and calm4 ,there was     
nothing said that even they could hear1 
nor done that  they could see2 but for a
 moment the throbbing was stilled1 and  
the  anguish calmed1 and there came a   
great peace4 ,the woman in whom this    
wonder was wrought was astonished1 as   
they were4 ,she gave a low cry in  the  
darkness for wonder that the pain had   
gone from her in an instant1 in  the    
twinkling of an eye4 ,there was no      
promise made to her that her prayer     
would be granted1 and no new light given
 to guide her for the time to  come2 but
 her pain was taken away4 ,she stood    
hushed1 and lifted her eyes2  and the   
gray of the sea1 and the low cloud that 
was like a canopy above1  and the       
lightening of colorless light towards   
the west1 entered with  their great     
quiet into her heart4 ',is this the     
peace that passeth all  understanding8' 
she said to herself1 confused with the  

sudden calm4 ,in  all her life it had   
never so happened to her before1--to be 
healed of her  grievous wounds1 yet     
without cause2 and while no change was  
wrought1 yet  to be put to rest4    ',it
 is our ,brother1' said the little      
,pilgrim1 shedding tears of joy4 ',it   
is the secret of the ,lord1' said the   
,sage2 but not even they had seen ,him  
passing by4    ,they walked with her    
softly in the silence1 in the sound of  
the sea1 till  the wonder in her was    
hushed like the pain1 and talked with   
her1 though  she knew it not4 ,for very 
soon questions arose in her heart4 ',and
 oh1'  she said1 'is this the ,lord's   
reply8' with thankfulness and awe2 but  
because she was human1 and knew so      
little1 and was full of impatience1     
',oh1 and is this all8' was what she    
next said4 ',i asked for them1 and      
,thou hast given to me--' then the voice
 of her heart grew louder1 and  she     
cried1 with the sound of the pain coming
 back1 ',i ask one thing1 and  ,thou    

givest another4 ,i asked no blessing for
 me4 ,i asked for them1 my  ,lord1 my   
,god4 ,give it to them--to them6' with  
disappointment rising in  her heart4    
,the little ,pilgrim laid her hand upon 
the woman's arm1--for  she was afraid   
lest our ,lord might be displeased1     
forgetting 7for she was  still          
imperfect7 that ,he sees all that is in 
the soul1 and understands  and takes no 
offence1--and said quickly1 ',oh1 be not
 afraid2 ,he will save  them too4 ,the  
blessing will come for them too4'       
',at ,his own time1' said the ,sage1    
'and in ,his own way4'    ,these        
thoughts rose in the woman's soul4 ,she 
did not know that they were  said to    
her1 nor who said them1 but accepted    
them as if they had come  from her own  
thoughts4 ,for she said to herself1     
',this is what is meant by  the answer  
of prayer4 ,it is not what we ask2 yet  
what ,i ask is according  to ,thy will1 
my ,lord4 ,it is not riches1 nor honors1
 nor beauty1 nor  health1 nor long life1

 nor anything of this world4 ,if ,i have
 been  impatient1 this is my            
punishment1--that the ,lord has thought1
 not of  them1 but of me4 ,but ,i can   
bear all1 ,o my ,lord6 that and a       
thousand times  more1 if ,thou wilt but 
think of them and not of me6'           
,nevertheless she returned to her home  
stilled and comforted2 for though  her  
trouble returned to her and was not     
changed1 yet for a moment it  had been  
lifted from her1 and the peace which    
passeth all understanding  had entered  
her heart4    ',but why1 then1' said the
 little ,pilgrim to her companion1 when 
the  friend was gone1 'why will not the 
,father give to her what she asks8 for  
,i know what it is4 ,it is that those   
whom she loves should love ,him and     
serve ,him2 and that is ,his will too1  
for ,he would have all love ,him1 ,he   
who loves all4'    ',little sister1'    
said her companion1 'you asked me why   
,he did not let the  child remain upon  
the earth4'    ',ah1 but that is        

different1' she cried2 'oh1 it is       
different6 ,when you  said that the     
secret was between the child and the    
,father ,i knew that  it was so2 for it 
is just that the ,father should consider
 us first one  by one1 and do for us    
what is best4 ,but it is always best to 
serve ,him4  ,it is best to love him2 it
 is best to give up all the world and   
cleave  to ,him1 and follow wherever ,he
 goes4 ,no man can say otherwise than   
this1--that to follow the ,lord and     
serve ,him1 that is well for all1 and   
always the best6'    ,she spoke so hotly
 and hastily that her companion could   
find no room for  reply4 ,but he was in 
no haste2 he waited till she had said   
what was in  her heart4 ,then he        
replied1 ',if it were even so1 if the   
,father heard all  prayers1 and put     
forth ,his hand and forced those who    
were far off to come  near--'    ,the   
little ,pilgrim looked up with horror in
 her face1 as if he had  blasphemed1 and
 said1 ',forced6 not so2 not so6'       

',yet it must be so1' he said1 'if it is
 against their desire and will4'        
',oh1 not so2 not so6' she cried1 'but  
that ,he should change their  hearts4'  
',yet that too against their will1' he  
said4    ,the little ,pilgrim paused    
upon the way2 and her heart rose against
 her  companion1 who spoke things so    
hard to be received1 and that seemed to 
dishonor the work of the ,lord4 ,but she
 remembered that it could not be  so1   
and paused before she spoke1 and looked 
up at him with eyes that were  full of  
wonder and almost of fear4 ',then must  
they perish8' she said1  'and must her  
heart break8' and her voice sank low for
 pity and sorrow4  ,though she was      
herself among the blessed1 yet the      
thorns and briers of  the earth caught  
at her garments and pierced her tender  
feet4    ',little sister1' said the     
,sage1 'to us who are born of the earth 
it is  hard to remember that the child  
belongs not first to the parents1 nor   
the  husband to the wife1 nor the wife  

to the husband1 but that all are the    
children of the ,father4 ,and ,he is    
just2 ,he will not neglect the little   
one because of those prayers which the  
father and the mother pour forth  to    
,him1 although they cry with anguish and
 with tears4 ,nor will ,he break  ,his  
great law and violate the nature ,he has
 made1 and compel ,his own  child to    
what it wills not and loves not4 ,the   
woman is comforted in the  breaking of  
her heart2 but those whom she loves1 are
 not they also the  children of the     
,father1 who loves them more than she   
does8 ,and each is to  ,him as if there 
were not another in the world4 ,nor is  
there any other in  the world1--for none
 can come between the ,father and the   
child4'    ,a smile came upon the little
 ,pilgrim's face1 yet she trembled4 ',it
 is dim  before me1' she said1 'and ,i  
cannot see clearly4 ,oh1 if the time    
would  but hasten1 that our ,lord might 
come1 and all struggles be ended1 and   
the  darkness vanish away6'    ',he will

 come when all things are ready1' said  
the ,sage2 and as they went  upon their 
way be showed her other sights1 and the 
mysteries of the heart  of man1 and the 
great patience of our ,lord4    ,it     
happened to them suddenly to perceive in
 their way a man returning  home4 ,these
 are words that are sweet to all who    
have lived upon the earth  and known its
 ways2 but far1 far were they from that 
meaning which is  sweet4 ,the dark hours
 had passed1 and men had slept2 and the 
night was  over4 ,the sun was rising in 
the sky1 which was keen and clear with  
the  pleasure of the morning4 ,the air  
was fresh with the dew1 and the birds   
awaking in the trees1 and the breeze so 
sweet that it seemed to blow from       
heaven2 and to the two travellers it    
seemed almost in the joy of the new  day
 as if the ,lord had already come4 ,but 
here was one who proved that it  was not
 so4 ,he had not slept all the night1   
nor had night been silent to  him nor   
dark1 but full of glaring light and     

noise and riot2 his eyes were  red with 
fever and weariness1 and his soul was   
sick within him1 and the  morning looked
 him in the face and upbraided him as a 
sister might have  upbraided him1 who   
loved him4 ,and he said in his heart1 as
 one had said  of old1 that all was     
vanity2 that it was vain to live1 and   
evil to have  been born2 that the day of
 death was better than the day of birth1
 and  all was delusion1 and love but a  
word1 and life a lie4 ,his footsteps on 
the road seemed to sound all through the
 sleeping world2 and when he  looked the
 morning in the face he was ashamed1 and
 cursed the light4 ,the  two went after 
him into a silent house1 where everybody
 slept4 ,the light  that had burned for 
him all night was sick like a guilty    
thing in the eye  of day1 and all that  
had been prepared for his repose was    
ghastly to him  in the hour of awaking1 
as if prepared not for sleep but for    
death4 ,his  heart was sick like the    
watch-light1 and life flickered within  

him with  disgust and disappointment4   
,for why had he been born1 if this were 
all8--for all was vanity4 ,the night and
 the day had been passed in  pleasure1  
and it was vanity2 and now his soul     
loathed his pleasures1 yet  he knew that
 was vanity too1 and that next day he   
would resume them as  before4 ,all was  
vain1--the morning and the evening1 and 
the spirit of man  and the ways of human
 life4 ,he looked himself in the face   
and loathed  this dream of existence1   
and knew that it was naught4 ,so much as
 it had  cost to be born1 to be fed1 and
 guarded and taught and cared for1 and  
all  for this6 ,he said to himself that 
it was better to die than to live1 and  
never to have been than to be4    ,as   
these spectators stood by with much pity
 and tenderness looking into  the       
weariness and sickness of this soul1    
there began to be enacted before  them a
 scene such as no man could have seen1  
which no one was aware of  save he who  
was concerned1 and which even to him was

 not clear in its  meanings1 but rather 
like a phantasmagoria1 a thing of the   
mists2 yet  which was great and solemn  
as is the council of a king in which    
great  things are debated for the       
welfare of the nations4 ,the air seemed 
in a  moment to be full of the sound of 
footsteps1 and of something more        
subtle1 which the ,sage and the ,pilgrim
 knew to be wings2 and as they  looked1 
there grew before them the semblance of 
a court of justice1 with  accusers and  
defenders2 but the judge and the        
criminal were one4 ,then was  put forth 
that indictment which he had been making
 up in his soul against  life and       
against the world2 and again another    
indictment which was  against himself4  
,and then the advocates began their     
pleadings4 ,voices  were there great and
 eloquent1 such as are familiar in the  
courts above1  which sounded forth in   
the spectators' ears earnest as those   
who plead  for life and death4 ,and     
these speakers declared that sin only is

 vanity1  that life is noble and love   
sweet1 and every man made in the image  
of  ,god1 to serve both ,god and man2   
and they set forth their reasons before 
the judge and showed him mysteries of   
life and death2 and they took up  the   
counter-indictment and proved to him how
 in all the world he had  sought but    
himself1 his own pleasure and profit1   
his own will1 not the  will of ,god1 nor
 even the good desire of humble nature1 
but only that  which pleased his sick   
fancies and his self-loving heart4 ,and 
they  besought him with a thousand      
arguments to return and choose again the
  better way4 ',arise1' they cried1     
'thou1 miserable1 and become great2     
arise1 thou vain soul1 and become noble4
 ,take thy birthright1 ,o son1 and      
behold the face of the ,father4' ,and   
then there came a whispering of lower   
voices1 very penetrating and sweet1 like
 the voices of women and  children1 who 
murmured and cried1 ',o father6 ,o      
brother6 ,o love6 ,o my  child6' ,the   

man who was the accused1 yet who was the
 judge1 listened2 and  his heart burned1
 and a longing arose within him for the 
face of the  ,father and the better way4
 ,but then there came a clang and clamor
 of  sound on the other side2 and voices
 called out to him as comrade1 as       
lover1 as friend1 and reminded him of   
the delights which once had been so     
sweet to him1 and of the freedom he     
loved2 and boasted the right of man  to 
seek what was pleasant and what was     
sweet1 and flouted him as a coward      
whose aim was to save himself1 and      
scorned him as a believer in old  wives'
 tales and superstitions that men had   
outgrown4 ,and their voices  were so    
vehement and full of passion that by    
times they mastered the  others1 so that
 it was as if a tempest raged round the 
soul which sat in  the midst1 and who   
was the offender and yet the judge of   
all4    ,the two spectators watched the 
conflict1 as those who watch the trial  
upon which hangs a man's life4 ,it      

seemed to the little ,pilgrim that she  
could not keep silent1 and that there   
were things which she could tell  him   
which no one knew but she4 ,she put her 
hand upon the arm of the ,sage  and     
called to him1 ',speak you1 speak you6  
he will hear you2 and ,i too  will      
speak1 and he will not resist what we   
say4' ,but even as she said  this1 eager
 and straining against her companion's  
control1 the strangest  thing ensued4   
,the man who was set there to judge     
himself and his life2 he  who was the   
criminal1 yet august upon his seat1 to  
weigh all and give the  decision2 he    
before whom all those great advocates   
were pleading1--a haze  stole over his  
eyes4 ,he was but a man1 and he was     
weary1 and subject to  the sway of the  
little over the great1 the moment over  
the life1 which is  the condition of    
man4 ,while yet the judgment was not    
given or the issue  decided1 while still
 the pleadings were in his ears1 in a   
moment his head  dropped back upon his  

pillow1 and he fell asleep4 ,he slept   
like a child1  as if there was no evil1 
nor conflict1 nor danger1 nor questions1
 more  than how best to rest when you   
are weary1 in all the world4 ,and       
straightway all was silent in the place4
 ,those who had been conducting  this   
great cause departed to other courts and
 tribunals1 having done all  that was   
permitted them to do4 ,and the man      
slept1 and when it was noon  woke and   
remembered no more4    ,the ,sage led   
the little ,pilgrim forth in a great    
confusion1 so that she  could not speak 
for wonder4 ,but he said1 ',this sleep  
also was from the  ,father2 for the mind
 of the man was weary1 and not able to  
form a  judgment4 ,it is adjourned until
 a better day4'    ,the little ,pilgrim 
hung her head and cried1 ',i do not     
understand4 ,will  not the ,lord        
interfere8 ,will not the ,father make it
 clear to him8 ,is he  the judge between
 good and evil8 ,is it all in his own   
hand8'    ,the ,sage spoke softly1 as if

 with awe4 ,he said1 ',this is the      
burden of  our nature1 which is not like
 the angels4 ,there is none in heaven or
 on  earth that can take from him what  
is his right and great honor among the  
creatures of ,god4 ,the ,father respects
 that which ,he has made4 ,he will      
force no child of ,his4 ,and there is no
 haste with ,him2 nor has it ever  been 
fathomed among us how long ,he will     
wait1 or if there is any end4 ,the  air 
is full of the coming and going of those
 who plead before the sons of  men2 and 
sometimes in great misery and trouble   
there will be a cause won  and a        
judgment recorded which makes the       
universe rejoice4 ,and in  everything at
 the end it is proved that our ,lord's  
way is the best1 and  that all can be   
accomplished in ,his name4'    ,the     
little ,pilgrim went on her way in      
silence1 knowing that the longing  in   
her heart which was to compel them to   
come in1 like that king who  sent to    
gather his guests from the highways and 

the hedges1 could not  be right1 since  
it was not the ,father's way1 yet       
confused in her soul1  and full of an   
eager desire to go back and wake that   
man and tell him  all that had been in  
her heart while she watched him sitting 
on his  judgment-seat4 ,but there came  
recollections wafted across her mind as 
by  breezes of the past1 of scenes in   
her earthly life when she had spoken    
without avail1 when she had said all    
that was in her heart and failed1  and  
done harm when she had meant to do good4
 ,and slowly it came upon her  that her 
companion spoke the truth1 and that no  
man can save his brother2  but each must
 sit and hear the pleadings and         
pronounce that judgment  which is for   
life or death4 ',but oh1' she cried1    
'how long and how bitter  it is for     
those who love them1 and must stand by  
and can give no aid6'    ,then her      
companion unfolded to her the patience  
of the ,lord1 and how ,he  is not       
discouraged1 nor ever weary1 but opens  

,his great assizes year by  year and day
 by day2 and how the cause was argued   
again1 as she had seen  it1 before the  
souls of men1 sometimes again and again 
and over and over1  till the pleadings  
of the advocates carried conviction1 and
 the judge  perceived the truth and     
consented to it4 ,he showed her that    
this was the  great thing in human life1
 and that though it was not enough to   
make a  man perfect1 yet that he who    
sinned against his will was different   
from  the man who sinned with his will2 
and how in all things the choice of the 
man for good or evil was all in all4    
,and he led her about the world so  that
 she could see how everywhere the       
heavenly advocates were travelling1     
entering into the secret places of the  
souls1 and pleading with each man  to   
his face4 ,and the little ,pilgrim      
looked on with pitying and tender  eyes1
 and it seemed to her that the heart of 
the judge1 before whom that  great      
question was debated1 leaned mostly to  

the right1 and acknowledged  that the   
way of the ,lord was the best way2 but  
either that sleep  overpowered him and  
weariness1 or the other voices deafened 
his ears1 or  something betrayed him    
that he forgot the reasons of the wise  
and the  judgment of his own soul4 ,at  
first it comforted her to see how       
something  nobler in every man would    
answer to the pleadings2 and then her   
heart  failed her1 to perceive that     
notwithstanding this the judge would    
leave  his seat without a decision1 and 
all would end in vanity4 ',and oh1      
friend1' she cried1 'what shall be done 
to those who see and yet  refuse8'--her 
heart being wrung by the disappointment 
and the failure4  ,but her companion    
smiled still1 and he said1 ',they are   
the children of  the ,father4 ,can a    
woman forget her child that she should  
not have  compassion on the son of her  
womb8 ,she may forget2 yet will not ,he 
forget4' ,and thus they went on and on4 
,but time would not suffice to tell what

 these two pilgrims saw as they         
wandered among the ways of men4 ,they   
saw poverty and misery and pain1  which 
came of the evil which man had done upon
 the earth1 and were his  punishment1   
and could be cured by nothing but by the
 return of each to  his ,father1 and the
 giving up of all self-worship and      
self-seeking and  sin4 ,but amid all the
 confusion and among those who had      
fallen the lowest  they found not one   
who was forsaken1 whose name the ,father
 had forgotten1  or who was not made to 
pause in his appointed moment1 and to   
sit upon his  throne and hear the       
pleadings before him of the great       
advocates of ,god1  reasoning of        
temperance and righteousness and        
judgment to come4    ,but once before   
they returned to their home1 a great    
thing befell them2  and they beheld that
 court sit1 and the pleadings made1 for 
the last time  upon earth1 which was a  
sight more solemn and terrible than     
anything they  had yet seen4 ,they found

 themselves in a chamber where sat a man
 who had  lived long and known both good
 and evil1 and fulfilled many great     
offices1 so that he was famed and       
honored among men4 ,he was a man who was
  wise in all the learning of the earth1
 standing but a little way below  those 
who have begun the higher learning in   
the world beyond1 and lifting  up his   
head as if he would reach the stars4    
,the travellers stood by him  in his    
beautiful house1 which was as the palace
 of wisdom1 and saw him in  the midst of
 all his honors4 ,the lamps were lit    
within1 and the night was  sweet        
without1 breathing of rest and happy    
ease1 and riches and  knowledge1 as if  
they would endure forever4 ,and the man 
looked round on  all he had1 and all he 
had achieved1 and everything which he   
possessed1  to enjoy it4 ,for of wisdom 
and of glory he had his fill1 and his   
soul was  yet strong to take pleasure in
 what was his1 and he looked around him 
like ,god1 and said that everything was 

good2 so that the little ,pilgrim       
gazed1 and wondered whether this could  
indeed be one of the brethren of  the   
earth1 or if he was one who had wandered
 hither from another sphere4    ,but as 
the thought arose1 she heard1 and lo6   
the steps of the pleaders  and the sound
 of their entry4 ,they came slowly like 
a solemn procession1  more grave and    
awful in their looks than any she had   
seen1 for they were  great and the      
greatest of all1 such as come forth but 
rarely when the  last word is to be     
said4 ,the words they said were few2 but
 they stood  round him reminding him of 
all that had been1 and of what must be1 
and of  many things which were known but
 to ,god and him alone1 and calling upon
  him yet once more before time should  
come to an end and life be lost4 ,but   
the sound of their voices in his ear was
 but as some great strain of  music     
which he had heard many times and knew  
and heeded not4 ,he turned to  the goods
 which he had laid up for many years1   

and all the knowledge he  had stored1   
and said to himself1 ',soul1 take thine 
ease4' ,and to the  heavenly advocates  
he smiled and replied that life was     
strong and wisdom  the master of all4   
,then there came a chill and a shiver   
over all1 as if  the earth had been     
stopped in her career or the sun fallen 
from the sky2  and the little ,pilgrim1 
looking on1 could see the heavenly      
pleaders come  forth with bowed heads   
and the door of hope shut to1 and a     
whisper which  crept about from sea to  
sea and said1 ',in vain6 in vain6' ,and 
as they  went forth from the gates an   
icy breath swept in1 and the voice of   
the  ,death-,angel saying1 ',thou fool1 
this night thy soul shall be required of
  thee6' ,the sound went through her    
heart as if it had been pierced by a    
sword1 and she gave a cry of anguish1   
for she could not bear that a  brother  
should be lost4 ,but when she looked up 
at the face of her  companion1 though it
 was pale with the pity and the terror  

of that which  had been thus            
accomplished1 there was still upon it a 
smile2 and he said1  ',not yet2 not yet4
 ,the ,father loves not less1 but more  
than ever4' ',o  friend1' she cried1    
'will there ever come a moment when the 
,father will  forget8 ,,is there any    
place where ,he cannot go8'    ,then he 
who was wise turned towards her1 and a  
great light came upon his  face2 and he 
said1 ',we have searched the records1   
and heard all witnesses  from the       
beginnings of time2 but we have never   
found the boundary of ,his  mercy1 and  
there is no country known to man that is
 without his presence4  ,and never has  
it been known that ,he has shut ,his ear
 to those who called  upon ,him1 or     
forgotten one who is ,his4 ,the heavenly
 pleaders may be  silenced1 but never   
our ,lord1 who pleads for all2 and      
heaven and earth  may forget1 yet will  
,he never forget who is the ,father of  
all4 ,and every  child of ,his is to    
,him as if there was none other in the  

world4'    ,then the little ,pilgrim    
lifted her face and beheld that radiance
 which is  over all1 which is the love  
that lights the world1 both angels and  
the  great spheres above and the little 
brethren who stumble and struggle and   
weep2 and in that light there was no    
darkness at all1 but everything  shone  
as in the morning1 sweet yet terrible1  
but ever clear and fair4 ,and           
immediately1 ere she was aware1 the     
rough roads of the earth were left  far 
behind1 and she had returned to her     
place1 and to her peaceful state1  and  
to the work which had been given        
her1--to receive the wanderers and  to  
bid them a happy welcome as the doors   
opened and they entered into  their     
inheritance4 ,and thus her soul was     
satisfied1 though she knew now  nothing 
more than she had known always1--that   
the eye of the ,father is  over all1 and
 that ,he can neither forget nor        
forsake4          ,,ii4    ,,on ,,the   
,,dark ,,mountains4      ,when the      

little ,pilgrim had been thus permitted 
to see the secret  workings of ,god in  
earthly places1 and among the brethren  
who are still  in the land of           
hope1--these being things which the     
angels desire to look  into1 and which  
are the subject of story and of song not
 only in the  little world below1 but in
 the great realms above1--her heart for 
a long  time reposed and was satisfied1 
and asked no further question4 ,for she 
had seen what the dealings of the       
,father were in the hearts of men1 and  
how till the end came ,he did not cease 
to send ,his messengers to plead in     
every heart1 and to hold a court of     
justice that no man might be  deceived1 
but each know whither his steps were    
tending1 and what was the  way of       
wisdom4 ,after this it was permitted to 
her to read in the archives  of the     
heavenly country the story of one1 who1 
neglecting all that the  advocates of   
,god could say1 had found himself1 when 
the little life was  completed1 not upon

 the threshold of a better country1 but 
in the midst  of the ,land of           
,darkness1--that region in which the    
souls of men are left  by ,god to their 
own devices1 and the ,father stands     
aloof1 and hides ,his  face and calls   
them not1 neither persuades them more4  
,over this story the  little ,pilgrim   
had shed many tears2 for she knew well1 
being enlightened  in her great         
simplicity by the heavenly wisdom1 that 
it was pain and  grief to the ,father to
 turn away ,his face2 and that no one   
who has but  the little heart of a man  
can imagine to himself what that sorrow 
is in  the being of the great ,god4 ,and
 a great awe came over her mind at the  
thought1 which seemed well-nigh a       
blasphemy1 that ,he could grieve2 yet in
  her heart1 being ,his child1 she knew 
that it was true4 ,and her own little   
spirit throbbed through and through with
 longing and with desire to help  those 
who were thus utterly lost4 ',and oh6'  
she said1 'if ,i could but go6  ,there  

is nothing which could make a child     
afraid1 save to see them  suffer4 ,what 
are darkness and terror when the ,father
 is with you8 ,i am  not afraid--if ,i  
might but go6' ,and by reason of her    
often pleading1 and  of the thought that
 was ever in her mind1 it was at last   
said that one of  those who knew might  
instruct her1 and show her by what way  
alone the  travellers who come from that
 miserable land could approach and be   
admitted on high4    ',i know1' she     
said1 'that between us and them there is
 a gulf fixed1 and  that they who would 
come from thence cannot come1 neither   
can any one--'    ,but here she stopped 
in great dismay1 for it seemed that she 
had thus  answered her own longing and  
prayer4    ,the guide who had come for  
her smiled upon her and said1 ',but that
 was  before the ,lord had ended ,his   
work4 ,and now all the paths are free   
wherever there is a mountain-pass or a  
river-ford2 the roads are all  blessed1 
and they are all open1 and no barriers  

for those who will4'    ',oh1' she      
cried1 'dear friend1 is that true for   
all8'    ,he looked away from her into  
the depths of the lovely air1 and he    
replied3 ',little sister1 our faith is  
without bounds1 but not our  knowledge4 
,i who speak to you am no more than a   
man4 ,the princes and  powers that are  
in high places know more than ,i2 but if
 there be any  place where a heart can  
stir and cry out to the ,father and ,he 
take no  heed1--if it be only in a      
groan1 if it be only with a sigh1--,i   
know not  that place1 yet many depths ,i
 know4' ,he put out his hand and took   
hers  after a pause2 and then he said1  
',there are some who are stumbling upon 
the dark mountains4 ,come and see4'     
,as they passed along1 there were many  
who paused to look at them1 for  he had 
the mien of a great prince1 a lord among
 men2 and his face still  bore the trace
 of sorrow and toil1 and there was about
 him an awe and  wonder which was more  
than could be put in words4 ,so that    

those who saw  him understood as he went
 by1 not who he was1 nor what he had    
been1 but  that he had come out of great
 tribulation1 of sorrow beyond the      
sorrows  of men4 ,the sweetness of the  
heavenly country had soothed away his   
care1 and taken the cloud from his face2
 but he was as yet unaccustomed  to     
smile1--though when he remembered and   
looked round him and saw that  all was  
well1 his countenance lightened like the
 morning sky1 and his  eyes woke up in  
splendor like the sun rising4 ,the      
little ,pilgrim did  not know who her   
brother was1 but yet gave thanks to ,god
 for him1 she  knew not why4    ,how far
 they went cannot be estimated in words1
 for distance matters  little in that   
place2 but at the end they came to a    
path which sloped a  little downwards to
 the edge of a delightful moorland      
country1 all  brilliant with the hues of
 the mountain flowers4 ,it was like a   
flowery  plateau high among the hills1  
in a region where are no frosts to check

  the glow of the flowers1 or scorch the
 grass4 ,it spread far around in        
hollows and ravines and softly swelling 
hills1 with the rush over them of  a    
cheerful breeze full of mountain scents 
and sounds2 and high above them  rose   
the mountain heights of the celestial   
world1 veiled in those blue  breadths of
 distance which are heaven itself when  
man's fancy ascends to  them from the   
low world at their feet4 ,all the little
 earth can do in  color and mists1 and  
travelling shadows fleet as the breath1 
and the  sweet steadfast shining of the 
sun1 was there1 but with a ten-fold     
splendor4 ,they rose up into the sky1   
every peak and jagged rock all  touched 
with the light and the smile of ,god1   
and every little blossom on  the turf   
rejoicing in the warmth and freedom and 
peace4 ,the heart of the  little        
,pilgrim swelled1 and she cried out1    
',there is nothing so glorious  as the  
everlasting hills4 ,though the valleys  
and the plains are sweet1  they are not 

like them4 ,they say to us1 lift up your
 heart6'    ,her guide smiled1 but he   
did not speak4 ,his smile was full of   
joy1 but  grave1 like that of a man     
whose thoughts are bent on other things2
 and he  pointed where the road wound   
downwards by the feet of these          
triumphant  hills4 ,she kept her eyes   
upon them as she moved along4 ,those    
heights rose  into the very sky1 but    
bore upon them neither snow nor storm4  
,here and  there a whiteness like a film
 of air rounded out over a peak2 and she
  recognized that it was one of those   
angels who travel far and wide with     
,god's commissions1 going to the other  
worlds that are in the firmament as  in 
a sea4 ,the softness of these films of  
white was like the summer clouds  that  
she used to watch in the blue of the    
summer sky in the little world  which   
none of its children can cease to love2 
and she wondered now  whether it might  
not sometimes have been the same dear   
angels whose  flight she had watched    

unknowing1 higher than thought could    
soar or  knowledge penetrate4 ,watching 
those floating heavenly messengers1 and 
the  heights of the great miraculous    
mountains rising up into the sky1 the   
little ,pilgrim ceased to think whither 
she was going1 although she knew  from  
the feeling of the ground under her feet
 that she was descending1  still softly1
 but more quickly than at first1 until  
she was brought to  herself by the      
sensation of a great wind coming in her 
face1 cold as from  a sudden vacancy4   
,she turned her head quickly from gazing
 above to what  was before her1 and     
started with a cry of wonder4 ,for below
 lay a great  gulf of darkness1 out of  
which rose at first some shadowy peaks  
and  shoulders of rock1 all falling away
 into a gloom which eyes accustomed to  
the sunshine could not penetrate4 ,where
 she stood was the edge of the          
light1--before her feet lay a line of   
shadow slowly darkening out of  daylight
 into twilight1 and beyond into that    

measureless blackness of  night2 and the
 wind in her face was like that which   
comes from a great  depth below of      
either sea or land1--the sweep of the   
current which moves  a vast atmosphere  
in which there is nothing to break its  
force4 ,the  little ,pilgrim was so     
startled by these unexpected sensations 
that she  caught the arm of her guide in
 her sudden alarm1 and clung to him1    
lest  she should fall into the terrible 
darkness and the deep abyss below4      
',there is nothing to fear1' he said2   
'there is a way4 ,to us who are  above  
there is no danger at all2 and it is the
 way of life to those who  are below4'  
',i see nothing1' she cried1 'save a few
 points of rock1 and the                
precipice1--the pit which is below4 ,oh1
 tell me what is it8 ,is it where  the  
fires are1 and despair dwells8 ,i did   
not think that was true4 ,let me  go and
 hide myself and not see it1 for ,i     
never thought that was true4'    ',look 
again1' said the guide4    ,the little  

,pilgrim shrank into a crevice of the   
rock1 and uncovering her  eyes1 gazed   
into the darkness2 and because her      
nature was soft and timid  there came   
into her mind a momentary fear4 ,her    
heart flew to the ,father's  footstool1 
and cried out to ,him1 not any question 
or prayer1 but only  ',father1 ,father6'
 and this made her stand erect1 and     
strengthened her  eyes1 so that the     
gloom even of hell could no more make   
her afraid4 ,her  guide stood beside    
with a steadfast countenance1 which was 
grave1 yet  full of a solemn light4 ,and
 then all at once he lifted up his      
voice1  which was sonorous and sweet    
like the sound of an organ1 and uttered 
a  shout so great and resounding that it
 seemed to come back in echoes from     
every hollow and hill4 ,what he said the
 little ,pilgrim could not  understand2 
but when the echoes had died away and   
silence followed1  something came up    
through the gloom1--a sound that was    
far1 far away1 and  faint in the long   

distance2 a voice that sounded no more  
than an echo4  ,when he who had called  
out heard it1 he turned to the little   
,pilgrim with  eyes that were liquid    
with love and pity2 ',listen1' he said1 
'there is  some one on the way4'        
',can we help them8' cried the little   
,pilgrim2 her heart bounded forward     
like a bird4 ,she had no fear4 ,the     
darkness and the horrible way seemed as 
nothing to her4 ,she stretched out her  
arms as if she would have seized  the   
traveller and dragged him up into the   
light4    ,he who was by her side shook 
his head1 but with a smile4 ',we can but
  wait1' he said4 ',it is forbidden that
 any one should help2 for this is  too  
terrible and strange to be touched even 
by the hands of angels4 ,it is  like    
nothing that you know4'    ',i have been
 taught many things1' said the little   
,pilgrim1 humbly4 ',i  have been taken  
back to the dear earth1 where ,i saw the
 judgment-seat1  and the pleaders who   
spoke1 and the man who was the judge1   

and how each  is judge for himself4'    
',you have seen the place of hope1' said
 her guide1 'where the ,father is  and  
the ,son1 and where no man is left to   
his own ways4 ,but there is  another    
country1 where there is no voice either 
from ,god or from good  spirits1 and    
where those who have refused are left to
 do as seems good in  their own eyes4'  
',i have read1' said the little         
,pilgrim1 with a sob1 'of one who went  
from  city to city and found no rest4'  
,her guide bowed his head very gravely  
in assent4 ',they go from place to      
place1' he said1 'if haply they might   
find one in which it is possible to     
live4 ,whether it is order or whether it
 is license1 it is according to  their  
own will4 ,they try all things1 ever    
looking for something which the  soul   
may endure4 ,and new cities are founded 
from time to time1 and a new  endeavor  
ever and ever to live1 only to live4    
,for even when happiness  fails and     
content1 and work is vanity and effort  

is naught1 it is  something if a man can
 but endure to live4'    ,the little    
,pilgrim looked at him with wistful     
eyes1 for what he said was  beyond her  
understanding4 ',for us1' she said1     
'life is nothing but joy4  ,oh1 brother1
 is there then condemnation8'    ',it is
 no condemnation2 it is what they have  
chosen1--it is to follow  their own way4
 ,there is no longer any one to         
interfere4 ,the pleaders are  all       
silent2 there is no voice in the heart4 
,the ,father hinders them not1  nor     
helps them1 but leaves them4' ,he       
shivered as if with cold2 and the       
little ,pilgrim felt that there breathed
 from the depths of darkness at  their  
feet an icy wind which touched her hands
 and feet and chilled her  heart4 ,she  
shivered too1 and drew close to the rock
 for shelter1 and  gazed at the awful   
cliffs rising out of the gloom1 and the 
paths that  disappeared at her feet1    
leading down1 down into that abyss2 and 
her  heart failed within her to think   

that below there were souls that        
suffered1 and that the ,father and the  
,son were not there4 ,he1 the           
,all-loving1 the ,all-present1--how     
could it be that ,he was not there8     
',it is a mystery1' said the man who was
 her guide1 and who answered to  her    
thought4 ',when ,i set my foot upon this
 blessed land ,i knew that  there1 even 
there1 ,he is4 ,but in that country ,his
 face is hidden1 and  even to name ,his 
name is anguish1--for then only do men  
understand what  has befallen them1 who 
can say that name no more4'    ',that is
 death indeed1' she cried2 and the wind 
came up silent with a  wild breath that 
was more awful than the shriek of a     
storm2 for it was  like the stifled     
utterances of all those miserable ones  
who have no voice  to call upon ,god1   
and know not where ,he is nor how to    
pronounce ,his name4    ',ah1' said he1 
'if we could have known what death was6 
,we had believed in  death in the time  
of all great illusions1 in the time of  

the gentle life1  in the day of hope4   
,but in the land of darkness there are  
no illusions2  and every man knows that 
though he should fling himself into the 
furnace  of the gold1 or be cut to      
pieces by the knives1 or trampled under 
the  dancers' feet1 yet that it will be 
but a little more pain1 and that death  
is not1 nor any escape that way4'       
',oh1 brother6' she cried1 'you have    
been there6'    ,he turned and looked   
upon her2 and she read as in a book     
things which  tongue of man cannot      
say1--the anguish and the rapture1 the  
unforgotten pang of the lost1 the joy of
 one who has been delivered  after hope 
was gone4    ',i have been there2 and   
now ,i stand in the light1 and have seen
 the face  of the ,lord1 and can speak  
,his blessed name4' ,and with that he   
burst  forth into a great melodious cry1
 which was not like that which he had   
sent into the dark depths below1 but    
mounted up like the sounding of  silver 
trumpets and all joyful music1 giving a 

voice to the sweet air and  the fresh   
winds which blew about the hills of     
,god4 ,but the words he said  were not  
comprehensible to his companion1 for    
they were in the sweet  tongue which is 
between the ,father and ,his child1 and 
known to none but  to them alone4 ,yet  
only to hear the sound was enough to    
transport all who  listened1 and to make
 them know what joy is and peace4 ,the  
little  ,pilgrim wept for happiness to  
hear her brother's voice2 but in the    
midst  of it her ear was caught by      
another sound1--a faint cry which       
tingled up  from the darkness like a    
note of a muffled bell1--and she turned 
from the  joy and the light1 and flung  
out her arms and her little voice       
towards  him who was stumbling upon the 
dark mountains4 ,and ',come1' she cried1
  'come1 come6' forgetting all things   
save that one was there in the          
darkness1 while here was light and      
peace4    ',it is nearer1' said her     
guide1 hearing1 even in the midst of his

 triumph  song1 that faint and distant  
cry2 and he took her hand and drew her  
back1  for she was upon the edge of the 
precipice1 gazing into the black depths1
  which revealed nothing save the       
needles of the awful rocks and sheer    
descents below4 ',the moment will come1'
 he said1 'when we can help2 but  it is 
not yet4'    ,her heart was in the      
depths with him who was coming1 whom she
 knew not  save that he was coming1     
toiling upwards towards the light2 and  
it seemed  to her that she could not    
contain herself1 nor wait till he should
  appear1 nor draw back from the edge1  
where she might hold out her hands  to  
him and save him some single step1 if no
 more4 ,but presently her heart         
returned to her brother who stood by her
 side1 and who was delivered1  and with 
whom it was meet that all should        
rejoice1 since he had fought  and       
conquered1 and reached the land of      
light4 ',oh1' she said1 'it is long  to 
wait while he is still upon these dark  

mountains4 ,tell me how it came  to you 
to find the way4'    ,he turned to her  
with a smile1 though his ear too was    
intent1 and his  heart fixed upon the   
traveller in the darkness1 and began to 
tell her his  tale to beguile the time  
of waiting1 and to hold within bounds   
the pity  that filled her heart4 ,he    
told her that he was one of many who    
came from  the pleasant earth together1 
out of many countries and tongues2 and  
how  they had gone here and there each  
man to a different city2 and how they   
had crossed each other's paths coming   
and going1 yet never found rest for     
their feet2 and how there was a little  
relief in every change1 and one  sought 
that which another left2 and how they   
wandered round and round  over all the  
vast and endless plain1 until at length 
in revolt from every  other way1 they   
had chosen a spot upon the slope of a   
hill1 and built  there a new city1 if   
perhaps something better might be found 
there2 and  how it had been built with  

towers and high walls1 and great gates  
to shut  it in1 so that no stranger     
should find entrance2 and how every     
house was  a palace1 with statues of    
marble1 and pillars so precious with    
beautiful  work1 and arches so lofty and
 so fair that they were better than had 
they  been made of gold1--yet gold was  
not wanting1 nor diamond stones that    
shone like stars1 and everything more   
beautiful and stately than heart  could 
conceive4    ',and while we built and   
labored1' he said1 'our hearts were a   
little  appeased4 ,and it was called the
 city of ,art1 and all was perfect in   
it1  so that nothing had ever been seen 
to compare with it for beauty2 and we   
walked upon the battlements and looked  
over the plain and viewed the  dwellers 
there1 who were not as we4 ,and we went 
on to fill every room and  every hall   
with carved work in stone and beaten    
gold1 and pictures and  woven tissues   
that were like the sun-gleams and the   
rainbows of the  pleasant earth4 ,and   

crowds came around envying us and       
seeking to enter2  but we closed our    
gates and drove them away4 ,and it was  
said among us  that life would now      
become as of old1 and everything would  
go well with  us as in the happy days4' 
,the little ,pilgrim looked up into his 
face1 and for pity of his pain  7though 
it was past7 almost wished that that    
could have come true4    ',but when the 
work was done1' he said1 and for a      
moment no more4    ',oh1 brother6 when  
the work was done8' ',you do not know   
what it is1' he  said1 'to be ten times 
more powerful and strong1 to want no    
rest1 to have  fire in your veins1 to   
have the craving in your heart above    
everything  that is known to man4 ,when 
the work was done1 we glared upon each  
other  with hungry eyes1 and each man   
wished to thrust forth his neighbor and 
possess all to himself4 ,and then we    
ceased to take pleasure in it1          
notwithstanding that it was beautiful2  
and there were some who would have      

beaten down the walls and built them    
anew2 and some would have torn up  the  
silver and gold1 and tossed out the fair
 statues and the adornments  in scorn   
and rage to the meaner multitudes below4
 ,and we who were the  workers began to 
contend one against another to satisfy  
the gnawings of  the rage that was in   
our hearts4 ,for we had deceived        
ourselves1 thinking  once more that all 
would be well2 while all the time       
nothing was changed1  and we were but as
 the miserable ones that rushed from    
place to place4'    ,though all this    
wretchedness was over and past1 it was  
so terrible to  think of that he paused 
and was silent awhile4 ,and the little  
,pilgrim  put her hand upon his arm in  
her great pity1 to soothe him1 and      
almost  forgot that there was another   
traveller not yet delivered upon the    
way4  ,but suddenly at that moment there
 came up through the depths the sound of
  a fall1 as if the rocks had crashed   
from a hundred peaks1 yet all muffled   

by the great distance1 and echoing all  
around in faint echoes1 and  rumblings  
as in the bosom of the earth2 and       
mingled with them were  far-off cries1  
so faint and distant that human ears    
could not have heard  them1 like the    
cries of lost children1 or creatures    
wavering and straying  in the midst of  
the boundless night4 ,this time she who 
was watching upon  the edge of the gloom
 would have flung herself forward       
altogether into  it1 had not her        
companion again restrained her4 ',one   
has stumbled upon  the mountains2 but   
listen1 listen1 little sister1 for the  
voices are  many1' he said4 ',it is not 
one who comes1 but many2 and though he  
falls  he will rise again4' ,and once   
more he shouted aloud1 bending down     
against  the rocks1 so that they caught 
his voice2 and the sweet air from the   
skies came behind him in a great gust   
like a summer storm1 and carried it     
into all the echoing hollows of the     
hills4 ,and the little ,pilgrim knew    

that he shouted to all who came to take 
courage and not to fear4 ,and  this time
 there rose upwards many faint and      
wavering sounds that did not  stir the  
air1 but made it tingle with a vibration
 of the great distance  and the unknown 
depths2 and then again all was still4   
,they stood for a  time intent upon the 
great silence and darkness which swept  
up all sight  and sound1 and then the   
little ,pilgrim once more turned her    
eyes towards  her companion1 and he     
began again his wonderful tale4    ',he 
who had been the first to found the     
city1 and who was the most wise  of any1
 though the rage was in him like all the
 rest1 and the  disappointment and the  
anguish1 yet would not yield4 ,and he   
called upon  us for another trial1 to   
make a picture which should be the      
greatest that  ever was painted2 and    
each one of us1 small or great1 who had 
been of  that art in the dear life1 took
 share in the rivalry and the emulation1
  so that on every side there was a fury

 and a rush1 each man with his band  of 
supporters about him struggling and     
swearing that his was the best4  ,not   
that they loved the work or the beauty  
of the work1 but to keep down  the      
gnawing in their hearts1 and to have    
something for which they could  still   
fight and storm1 and for a little       
forget4'    ',i was one who had been    
among the highest4' ,he spoke not with  
pride1 but  in a low and deep voice     
which went to the heart of the listener1
 and  brought the tears to her eyes4 ,it
 was not like that of the painter in the
  heavenly city1 who rejoiced and was   
glad in his work1 though he was but  as 
a humble workman1 serving those who were
 more great4 ,but this man had  the     
sorrow of greatness in him1 and the     
wonder of those who can do much1  to    
find how little they can do4 ',my       
veins1' he said1 'were filled with      
fire1 and my heart with the rage of a   
great desire to be first1 as ,i had     
been first in the days of the gentle    

life4 ,and ,i made my plan to be        
greater than all the rest1 to paint a   
vast picture like the world1 filled     
with all the glories of life4 ,in a     
moment ,i had conceived what ,i should  
do1 for my strength was as that of a    
hundred men2 and none of us could  rest 
or breathe till it was accomplished1 but
 flung ourselves upon this  new thing as
 upon water in the desert4 ,oh1 my      
little sister1 how can ,i  tell you2    
what words can show forth this wonderful
 thing8 ,i stood before  my great canvas
 with all those who were of my faction  
pressing upon me1  noting every touch ,i
 made1 shouting1 and saying1 ,he will   
win6 he will  win6 when lo6 there came a
 mystery and a wonder into that place4  
,i had  arranged men and women before me
 according to all the devices of art1 to
  serve as my models1 that nature might 
be in my picture1 and life2 but  when ,i
 looked ,i saw them not1 for between    
them and me had come a ,face4'    ,the  
eyes of the little ,pilgrim dropped with

 tears4 ,she held out her hands  towards
 him with a sympathy which no words     
could say4    ',often had ,i painted    
that ,face in the other life1 sometimes 
with awe and  love1 sometimes with      
scorn1--for hire and for bread1 and for 
pride and  for fame4 ,it is pale with   
suffering1 yet smiles2 the eyes have    
tears in  them1 yet light below1 and all
 that is there is full of tenderness and
 of  love4 ,there is a crown upon the   
brow1 but it is made of thorns4 ,it came
  before me suddenly1 while ,i stood    
there1 with the men shouting close to   
my ear urging me on1 and fierce fury in 
my heart1 and the rage to be  first1 and
 to forget4 ,where my models were1 there
 it came4 ,i could not  see them1 nor my
 groups that ,i had planned1 nor        
anything but that ,face4 ,i  called out 
to my men4 ,who has done this8 but they 
heard me not1 nor  understood me1 for to
 them there was nothing there save the  
figures ,i had  set1--a living picture  
all ready for the painter's hand4    ',i

 could not bear it1 the sight of that   
,face4 ,i flung my tools away2 ,i       
covered my eyes with my hands4 ,but     
those who were about me pressed on me   
and threatened2 they pulled my hands    
from my eyes4 ,coward6 they cried1  and 
,traitor1 to leave us in the lurch6 ,now
 will the other side win and  we be     
shamed4 ,rather tear him limb from limb1
 fling him from the walls6  ,the crowd  
came round me like an angry sea2 they   
forced my pencils back  into my hands4  
,work1 they cried1 or we will tear you  
limb from limb4  ,for though they were  
upon my side1 it was for rivalry1 and   
not out of any  love for me4' ,he paused
 for a moment1 for his heart was yet    
full of the  remembrance1 and of joy    
that it was past4    ',i looked again1' 
he said1 'and still it was there4 ,o    
,face divine1--the  eyes all wet with   
pity1 the lips all quivering with love6 
,and neither  pity nor love belonged to 
that place1 nor any succor1 nor the     
touch of a  brother1 nor the voice of a 

friend4 ,paint1 they cried1 or we will  
tear  you limb from limb6 and fire came 
into my heart4 ,i pushed them from me   
on every side with the strength of a    
giant4 ,and then ,i flung it on the     
canvas1 crying ,i know not what1--not to
 them1 but to ,him4 ,shrink not from    
me1 little sister1 for ,i blasphemed4 ,i
 called ,him ,impostor1 ,deceiver1      
,galilean2 and still with all my might1 
with all the fury of my soul1 ,i  set   
,him there for every man to see1 not    
knowing what ,i did4 ,everything  faded 
from me but that ,face2 ,i saw it alone4
 ,the crowd came round me with  shouts  
and threats to drag me away but ,i took 
no heed4 ,they were  silenced1 and fled 
and left me alone1 but ,i knew nothing2 
nor when they  came back with others and
 seized me1 and flung me forth from the 
gates1  was ,i aware what ,i had done4  
,they cast me out and left me upon the  
wild  without a shelter1 without a      
companion1 storming and raving at them  
as  they did at me4 ,they dashed the    

great gates behind me with a clang1 and 
shut me out4 ,and ,i turned and defied  
them1 and cursed them as they cursed    
me1 not knowing what ,i had done4'      
',oh1 brother6' murmured the little     
,pilgrim1 kneeling1 as if she had       
accompanied him all the way with her    
prayers1 but could not now say more4    
',then ,i saw again1' he went on1 not   
hearing her in the great force of  that 
passion and wonder which was still in   
his mind1 'that vision in the  air4     
,wherever ,i turned1 it was there1--,his
 eyes wet with pity1 ,his  countenance  
shining with love4 ,whence came ,he8    
,what did ,he in that place1  where love
 is not1 where pity comes not8'         
',friend1' she cried1 'to seek you      
there6'    ,her companion bowed his head
 in deep humbleness and joy4 ,and again 
he  lifted his great voice and intoned  
his song of praise4 ,the little ,pilgrim
  understood it1 but by fragments1--a   
line that was more simple that came     
here and there4 ,and it praised the     

,lord that where the face of the ,father
  was hidden2 and where love was not1   
nor compassion1 nor brother had pity  on
 brother1 nor friend knew the face of   
friend2 and all succor was  stayed1 and 
every help forbidden1--yet still in the 
depths of the  darkness and in the heart
 of the silence1 ,he who could not      
forget nor  forsake was there4 ,the     
voice of the singer was like that of one
 of the  great angels1 and many of the  
inhabitants of the blessed country began
 to  appear1 gathering in crowds to hear
 this great music1 as the little  sister
 thought2 and she herself listened with 
all her heart1 wondering  and seeing on 
the faces of those dear friends whom she
 did not know an  expectation and a hope
 which were strange to her1 though she  
could always  understand their love and 
their joy4    ,but in the middle of this
 great song there came again another    
sound to  her ear1--a sound which       
pierced through the music like lightning
 through  the sky1 though it was but the

 cry of one distraught and fainting2 a  
cry  out of the depths not even seeking 
help1 a cry of distress too terrible  to
 be borne4 ,though it was scarcely      
louder than a sigh1 she heard it        
through all the music1 and turned and   
flew to the edge of the precipice       
whence it came4 ,and immediately the    
darkness seemed to move as with a  pulse
 in a great throb1 and something came   
through the wind with a rush1  as if    
part of the mountain had fallen--and lo6
 at her feet lay one who  had flung     
himself forward1 his arms stretched out1
 his face to the  ground1 as if he had  
seized and grasped in an agony the very 
soil4 ,he lay  there1 half in the light 
and half in the shadow1 gripping the    
rocks with  his hands1 burrowing into   
the cool herbage above and the mountain 
flowers2 clinging1 catching hold1       
despairing1 yet seizing everything he   
could grasp1--the tender grass1 the     
rolling stones4 ,the little ,pilgrim    
flung herself down upon her knees by his

 side1 and grasped his arm to  help1 and
 cried aloud for aid2 and the song of   
the singer ceased1 and  there was       
silence for a moment1 so that the breath
 of the fugitive could  be heard        
panting1 and his strong struggle to drag
 himself altogether out  of that abyss  
of darkness below4 ,she thought of      
nothing1 nor heard nor  saw anything but
 the strain of that last effort which   
seemed to shake  the very mountains2    
until suddenly there seemed to rise all 
around the  hum and murmur as of a great
 multitude1 and looking up1 she saw     
every  little hill and hollow1 and the  
glorious plain beyond as far as eye     
could  see1 crowded with countless      
throngs2 and on the high peaks above1 in
 the  full shining of the sun1 came     
bands of angels1 and of those great     
beings  who are more mighty than men4   
,and the eyes of all were fixed upon the
 man  who lay as one dead upon the      
ground1 and from the lips of all came a 
low  murmur of rapture and delight1 that

 spread like the hum of the bees1 like  
the cooing of the doves1 like the voice 
of a mother over her child2 and  the    
same sound came to her own lips         
unawares1 and she murmured 'welcome'    
and 'brother' and 'friend1' not knowing 
what she said2 and looking to the       
others1 whispered1 ',hush6 for he is    
weak'--and all of them answered with    
tears1 with 'hush' and 'welcome' and    
'friend' and 'brother' and  'beloved1'  
and stood smiling and weeping for joy4  
,and presently there  came softly into  
the blessed air the ringing of the great
 silver bells1  which sound only for    
victory and great happiness and gain4   
,and there was  joy in heaven2 and every
 world was stirred4 ,and throughout the 
firmament1  and among all the lords and 
princes of life1 it was known that the  
impossible had become true1 and the name
 of the ,lord had proved  enough1 and   
love had conquered even despair4        
',hush6' she said1 'for he is weak4'    
,and because it was her blessed  service

 to receive those who had newly arrived 
in that heavenly country1  and to soothe
 and help them so that like newborn     
children they should be  able to endure 
and understand the joy1 she knelt by him
 on the ground  and tried to rouse him1 
though with trembling1 for never before 
had she  stood by one who was newly come
 out of the land of despair4 ',let the  
sun  come upon him1' she said2 'let him 
feel the brightness of the  light1'--and
 with her soft hands she drew him out of
 the shade of the  twilight to where the
 brightness of the day fell like a smile
 upon the  flowers4 ,and then at last he
 stirred1 and turned round and opened   
his  eyes1 for the genial warmth had    
reached him4 ,but his eyes were heavy   
and  dazzled with the light2 and he     
looked round him as if confused from    
beneath his heavy eyelids4 ',and where  
am ,i8' he said2 'and who are you8'     
',oh1 brother6' said the little         
,pilgrim1 and told him in his ear the   
name  of that heavenly place1 and many  

comforting and joyful things4 ,but he   
understood her not1 and still gazed     
about him with dazzled eyes1 for his    
face was still towards the darkness1 and
 fear was upon him lest this  place     
should prove no more than a delusion1   
and the darkness return1 and  the       
anguish and pain4    ,then he who had   
been her guide1 and told her his tale1  
came forward and  stood by the side of  
the newly come4 ,and ',brother1' he     
said1 'look upon  me1 for you know me1  
and know from whence ,i come4'    ,the  
stranger looked dimly with his heavy    
eyes4 ,and he replied1 ',it is as  a    
dream that ,i know you1 and know from   
whence you came4 ,and the dream is      
sweet to lie here1 and think that ,i am 
at peace4 ,deceive me not1 oh6  deceive 
me not with dreams that are sweet2 but  
let me go upon my way and  find the end1
 if there is any end1 or if any good can
 be4'    ',what shall we do1' cried the 
little ,pilgrim1 'to persuade him that  
he  has arrived and is safe1 and dreams 

no more8'    ,and they stood round him  
wondering1 and troubled to find how     
little they  could do for him1 and that 
the light entered so slowly into his    
soul4 ,and  he lay on the bank like one 
left for death1 so weary and so worn    
with  all the horrors of the way that   
his heart was faint within him1 and     
peace  itself seemed to him but an      
illusion4 ,he lay silent while they     
watched  and waited1 then turned himself
 upon the grass1 which was as soft to   
the  weary wayfarer as angels' wings2   
and then the sunshine caught his eye1 as
  if he had been a newborn babe awakened
 to the light4 ,he put out his hand  to 
it1 and touched the ground that was     
golden with those heavenly rays1  and   
gathered himself up till he felt it upon
 his face1 and opened wide  his dazzled 
eyes1 then shaded them with trembling   
hands1 and said to  himself1 ',it is the
 sun2 it is the sun6' ,but still he did 
not dare to  believe that the danger and
 the toil were over1 nor could he       

listen1 nor  understand what the        
brethren said4 ,while they all stood    
around and  watched and waited1         
wondering each how the new-comer should 
be satisfied1  there suddenly arose a   
sound with which they were all          
acquainted1--the  sound of ,one         
approaching4 ,the faces of the blessed  
were all around like  the stars in the  
sky1--multitudes whom none could count  
or reckon2 but ,he  who came was seen of
 none1 save him to whom ,he came4 ,the  
weary man rose  up with a great cry1    
then fell again upon his knees1 and     
flung his arms  wide in the wonder and  
the joy4 ,and ',lord1' he cried1 'was it
 ,thou8  ,lord1 it was ,thou6 ,thine was
 the face4 ,and ,thou hast brought me   
here6'    ,the watchers knew not what   
the other voice said1 for what is said  
to each  new-comer is the secret of the 
,lord4 ,but when they looked again1 the 
man  stood upright upon his feet1 and   
his face was full of light2 and though  
he trembled with weakness and with      

weariness1 and with exceeding joy1 yet  
the confusion and the fear were gone    
from him4 ,and he had no longer any     
suspicion of them1 as if they might     
betray him1 but held out his  trembling 
hands and cried1 ',friends1--you are    
friends8 and you spoke to  me and called
 me brother8 ,and am ,i here8 ,and am ,i
 here8' ,for to name the  name of that  
blessed country was not needful any     
longer1 now that he had  seen the ,lord4
    ,then a great band and guard of     
honor1 of angels and principalities and 
powers1 surrounded him1 and led him away
 to the holy city1 and to the  presence 
of the ,father1 who had permitted and   
had not forbidden what the  ,lord had   
done4 ,and all the companies of the     
blessed followed after with  wonder and 
gladness and triumph1 because the great 
love of the ,lord had  drawn out of the 
darkness even those who were beyond     
hope4    ,the little ,pilgrim saw them  
depart from her with love and joy1 and  
sat  down upon the rocky edge and sang  

her own song of peace2 for her fear was 
gone1 and she was ready to do her       
service there upon the verge of the     
precipice as among the flowers and the  
sunshine1 where her own place was4      
',from the depths1' she said1 'they     
come1 they come6--from the land of      
darkness1 where no love is4 ,for ,thy   
love1 ,o ,lord1 is more than the        
darkness and the depths4 ,and where hope
 is not1 there ,thy pity goes4' ,she    
sat and sang to herself like a happy    
child1 for her heart had fathomed  the  
awful gloom which baffles angels and    
men2 and she had learned that  though   
hope comes to an end and light fails1   
and the feet of the  ambassadors are    
stayed on the mountains1 and the voice  
of the pleaders is  silenced1 and       
darkness swallows up the world1 yet     
,love never fails4 ,as  she sang1 the   
pity in her heart grew so strong1 and   
her desire to help  the lost1 that she  
rose up and stepped forth into the awful
 gloom1 and  had it been permitted1 in  

her gentleness and weakness would have  
gone  forth to the deeps and had no     
fear4    ,the ground gave way under her 
feet1 so dreadful was the precipice2 but
  though her heart beat with the horror 
of it1 and the whirl of the descent  and
 the darkness which blinded her eyes1   
yet had she no hurt4 ,and when  her foot
 touched the rock1 and that sinking     
sense of emptiness and  vacancy ceased1 
she looked around and saw the path by   
which that  traveller had come4 ,for    
when the eyes are used to the darkness1 
the  horror of the gloom was no longer  
like a solid thing1 but moved into      
shades of darker and less dark1 so that 
she saw where the rocks stood1  and how 
they sank with edges that cut like      
swords down and ever down into  the     
abysses2 and how here a deep ravine was 
rent between them1 and there  were      
breaks and scars as though some one had 
caught the jagged points  with wounded  
hand or foot1 struggling up the         
perpendicular surface  towards the      

little ray of light1 like a tiny star   
which shone as on  immeasurable heights 
to show where life was4 ,as she         
travelled deeper and  deeper1 it was a  
wonder to see how far that little ray   
penetrated down  and down through gulfs 
of darkness1 blue and cold like the     
shimmer of a  diamond1 and even when it 
could be seen no more1 sent yet a       
shadowy  refraction1 a line of something
 less black than the darkness1 a        
lightening amid the gloom1 a something  
indefinable which was hope4 ,the  rocks 
were more cruel than imagination could  
conceive1--sometimes pointed  and sharp 
like knives1 sometimes smooth and       
upright as a wall with no  hold for the 
climber1 sometimes moving under the     
touch1 with stones that  rolled and     
crushed the bleeding feet2 and though   
the solid masses were  distinguishable  
from the lighter darkness of the air1   
yet it could only  be in groping that   
the travellers by that way could find   
where any  foothold was4 ,the traveller 

who came from above1 and who had the    
privilege of her happiness1 sank down as
 if borne on wings1 yet needed  all her 
courage not to be afraid of the awful   
rocks that rose all above  and around   
her1 perpendicular in the gloom4 ,and   
the great blast of an icy  wind swept   
upwards like something flying upon great
 wings1 so tremendous  was the force of 
it1 whirling from the depths below1     
sucked upwards by  the very warmth of   
the life above2 so that the little      
,pilgrim herself  caught at the rocks   
that she might not be swept again       
towards the top1 or  dashed against the 
stony pinnacles that stood up on every  
side4 ,she was  glad when she found a   
little platform under her feet for a    
moment where  she could rest1 and also  
because she had come1 not from curiosity
 to see  that gulf1 but with the hope   
and desire to meet some one to whom she 
could be of a little comfort or help in 
the terrors of the way4    ,while she   
stood for a moment to get her breath1   

she became sensible that  some living   
thing was near2 and putting out her hand
 she felt that there  was round her     
something that was like a bastion upon a
 fortified wall1  and immediately a hand
 touched hers1 and a soft voice said1   
',sister1 fear  not6 for this is the    
watch-tower1 and ,i am one of those who 
keep the  way4' ,she had started and    
trembled indeed1 not that she feared1   
but  because the delicate fabric of her 
being was such that every movement of   
the wind1 and even those that were      
instinctive and belonged to the habits  
of another life1 betrayed themselves in 
her4 ,and ',oh1' she said1 ',i knew  not
 that there were any watch-towers1 or   
any one to help1 but came  because my   
heart called me1 if perhaps ,i might    
hold out my hand in the  darkness1 and  
be of use where there was no light4'    
',come and stand by me1' said the       
watcher2 and the little ,pilgrim saw    
that  there was a whiteness near to her1
 out of which slowly shaped the face of 

a fair and tender woman1 whom she knew  
not1 but loved4 ,and though they  could 
scarcely see each other1 yet they knew  
each other for sisters1 and  kissed and 
took comfort together1 holding each     
other's hands in the midst  of the awful
 gloom4 ,and the little ,pilgrim        
questioned in low and hushed  tones1    
',is it to help that you are here8'     
',to help when that may be2 but rather  
to watch1 and to send the news and  make
 it known that one is coming1 that the  
bells of joy may be sounded1  and all   
the blessed may rejoice4'    ',oh1' said
 the little ,pilgrim1 'tell me your     
name1 that ,i may do you  honor1--for to
 gain such high promotion can be given  
only to the great  who are made perfect1
 and to those who love most4'    ',i am 
not great1' said the watcher2 'but the  
,lord1 who considers all1 has  placed me
 here1 that ,i may be the first to see  
when one comes who is in  the dark      
places below4 ,and also because there   
are some who say that love  is idolatry1

 and that the ,father will not have us  
long for our own1  therefore am ,i      
permitted to wait and watch and think   
the time not long  for the love ,i bear 
him4 ,for he is mine2 and when he comes 
,i will ascend  with him to the dear    
country of the light1 and some other who
 loves  enough will be promoted in my   
place4'    ',i am not worthy1' said the 
little ,pilgrim4 ',it is a great        
promotion2  but oh1 that we might be    
permitted to help1 to put out a hand1 or
 to  clear the way6'    ',nay1 my little
 sister1' said the watcher1 'but        
patience must have its  perfect work2   
and for those who are coming help is    
secret4 ,they must not  see it nor know 
it1 for the land of darkness is beyond  
hope4 ,the ,father  will not force the  
will of any creature ,he has made1 for  
,he respects us  in our nature1 which is
 ,his image4 ,and when a man will not1  
and will not  till the day is over1 what
 can be done for him8 ,he is left to his
 will1  and is permitted to do it as it 

seems good in his eyes4 ,a man's will is
  great1 for it is the gift of ,god4    
,but the ,lord1 who cannot rest while   
one  is miserable1 still goes secretly  
to them1 for ,his heart yearns after    
them4 ,and by times they will see ,his  
face1 or some thought of old will  seize
 upon them4 ,and some will say1 ,to     
perish upon the dark mountains is       
better than to live here4 ,and ,i have  
seen1' said the watcher1 'that the      
,lord will go with them all the way--but
 secretly1 so that they cannot see      
,him4 ,and though it grieves ,his heart 
not to help1 yet will ,he not1--for     
they have become the creatures of their 
own will1 and by that must they         
attain4' ,she put out her hand to the   
new-comer and drew her to the side  of  
the rocky wall1 so that they felt the   
sweep of the wind in their  faces2 but  
were not driven before it4 ',and come1' 
she said1 'for two of  us together will 
be like a great light to those who are  
in the darkness4  ,they will see us like

 a lamp1 and it will cheer them1 though 
they know  not why we are here4         
,listen6' she cried4 ,and the little    
,pilgrim1 holding  fast the hand of the 
watcher1 listened and looked down upon  
the awful  way2 and underneath the sweep
 of the icy wind was a small sharp sound
 as  of a stone rolling or a needle of  
rock that broke and fell1 like the      
sounds that are in a wood when some     
creature moves1 though too far off  for 
footstep to sound4 ',listen6' said the  
watcher2 and her face so shone  with joy
 that the little ,pilgrim saw it        
clearly1 like the shining of the        
morning in the midst of the darkness4   
',he comes6'    ',oh1 sister6' she      
cried1 'is it he whom you love above all
 the rest8  ,is it he8'    ,the watcher 
smiled and said1 ',if it is not he1 yet 
is it a brother2 if  it is not he now1  
yet his time will come4 ,and in every   
one who passes1 ,i  hope to see his     
face2 and the more that come1 the more  
certain it is  that he will come4 ,and  

the time seems not long for the love ,i 
bear him4  ,and it is for this that the 
,lord has so considered me4 ,listen6 for
 some  one comes4'    ,and there came to
 these watchers the strangest sight2 for
 there flew past  them while they gazed 
a man who seemed to be carried upon the 
sweep of  the wind4 ,in the midst of the
 darkness they could see the faint white
 in  his face1 with eyes of flame and   
lips set firm1 whirled forward upon the 
wind1 which would have dashed him       
against the rocks2 but as he whirled    
past1 he caught with his hand the       
needles of the opposite peaks1 and was  
swung high over a great chasm1 and      
landed upon a higher height1 high over  
their heads4 ,and for a moment they     
could hear1 like a pulsation through    
the depths1 the hard panting of his     
breath2 then1 with scarcely a moment    
for rest1 they heard the sound of his   
progress onward1 as if he did  battle   
with the mountain1 and his own swiftness
 carried him like another  wind4 ,it had

 taken less than a moment to sweep him  
past1 quicker than the  flight of a     
bird1 as sudden as a lightning flash4   
,the little ,pilgrim  followed him with 
her eager ears1 wondering if he would   
leap thus into  the country of light and
 take heaven by storm1 or whether he    
would fall  upon the heavenly hills1 and
 lie prostrate in weariness and         
exhaustion1  like him to whom she had   
ministered4 ,she followed him with her  
ears1 for  the sound of his progress was
 with crashing of rocks and a swift     
movement  in the air2 but she was called
 back by the pressure of the hand of the
  watcher1 who did not1 like the little 
,pilgrim1 follow him who thus rushed    
through space as far as there was sound 
or sight of him1 but had turned  again  
to the lower side1 and was gazing once  
more1 and listening for the  little     
noises in the gulf below4 ,the little   
,pilgrim remembered her  friend's hope1 
and said softly1 ',it was not he8' ,and 
the watcher clasped  her hand again1 and

 answered1 ',it was a dear brother4 ,i  
have sounded the  silver bells for him2 
and soon we shall hear them answering   
from the  heights above4 ,and another   
time it will be he4' ,and they kissed   
each  other because they understood each
 the other in her heart4    ,and then   
they talked together of the old life    
when all things began2 and  of the      
wonderful things they had learned       
concerning the love of the  ,father and 
the ,son2 and how all the world was held
 by them and  penetrated through and    
through by threads of love1 so that it  
could  never fail4 ,and the darkness    
seemed light round them2 and they forgot
  for a little that the wind was not as 
a summer breeze4 ,then once more  the   
hand of the watcher pressed that of her 
companion1 and bade her hush  and       
listen2 and they sat together holding   
their breath1 straining their  ears4    
,then heard they faint sounds which were
 very different from those  made by him 
who had been driven past them like an   

arrow from a  bow1--first as of         
something falling1 but very far away1   
and a faint  sound as of a foot which   
slipped4 ,the listeners did not say a   
word to  each other2 they sat still and 
listened1 scarcely drawing their breath4
  ,the darkness had no voice2 it could  
not be but that some traveller was      
there1 though hidden deep1 deep in the  
gloom1 only betrayed by the  sound4     
,there was a long pause1 and the watcher
 held fast the little  ,pilgrim's hand1 
and betrayed to her the longing in her  
heart2 for though  she was already      
blessed beyond all blessedness known on 
earth1 yet had  she not forgotten the   
love that had begun on earth1 but was   
forevermore4  ,she murmured to herself  
and said1 ',if it is not he1 it is a    
brother2 and  the more that come1 the   
more sure it is that he will come4      
,little  sister1 is there one for whom  
you watch8'    ',there is no one1' the  
,pilgrim said1--'but all4'    ',and so  
care ,i for all1' cried the watcher2 and

 she drew her companion  with her to the
 edge of the abyss1 and they sat down   
upon it low among  the rocks to escape  
the rushing of the wind4 ,and they sang 
together a  soft song2 ',for if he      
should hear us1' she said1 'it may give 
him  courage4' ,and there they sat and  
sang2 and the white of their garments   
and of their heavenly faces showed like 
a light in the deep gloom1 so  that he  
who was toiling upwards might see that  
speck above him1 and be  encouraged to  
continue upon his way4    ,sometimes he 
fell1 and they could hear the moan he   
made1--for every sound  came upwards1   
however small and faint it might        
be1--and sometimes dragged  himself     
along1 so that they heard his movement  
up some shelf of rock4 ,and  as the     
,pilgrim looked1 she saw other and other
 dim whitenesses along the  ravines of  
the dark mountains1 and knew that she   
was not the only one1  but that many had
 come to watch and look for the coming  
of those who had  been lost4    ,time   

was as nothing to these heavenly        
watchers2 but they knew how long  and   
terrible were the moments to those upon 
the way4 ,sometimes there  would be     
silence like the silence of long years2 
and fear came upon them  that the       
wayfarer had turned back1 or that he had
 fallen1 and lay  suffering at the      
bottom of some gulf1 or had been swept  
by the wind upon  some icy peak and     
dashed against the rocks4 ,then anon1   
while they  listened and held their     
breath1 a little sound would strike     
again into  the silence2 bringing back  
hope2 and again and again all would be  
still4  ,the little ,pilgrim held her   
companion's hand2 and the thought went  
through her mind that were she watching 
for one whom she loved above the  rest1 
her heart would fail4 ,but the watcher  
answered her as if she had  spoken1 and 
said1 ',oh1 no1 oh1 no2 for if it is not
 he1 it is a brother2  and the ,lord    
give them joy6' ,but they sang no more1 
their hearts being  faint with suspense 

and with eagerness to hear every sound4 
,then in the great chill of the silence1
 suddenly1 and not far off1 came  the   
sound of one who spoke4 ,he murmured to 
himself and said1 ',who can  continue on
 this terrible way8 ,the night is black 
like hell1 and there  comes no morning4 
,it was better in the land of darkness1 
for still we  could see the face of man1
 though not ,god4' ,the muffled voice   
shook at  that word1 and then was still 
suddenly1 as though it had been a flame 
and  the wind had blown it out4 ,and for
 a moment there was silence2 until      
suddenly it broke forth once more1--    
',what is this that has come to me that 
,i can say the name of ,god8 ,it        
tortures no longer1 it is as balm4 ,but 
,he is far off and hears nothing4  ,he  
called us and we answered not4 ,now it  
is we who call1 and ,he will not  hear4 
,i will lie down and die4 ,it cannot be 
that a man must live and live  forever  
in pain and anguish4 ,here will ,i lie1 
and it will end4 ,o ,thou  whose face ,i

 have seen in the night1 make it        
possible for a man to die6'    ,the     
watcher loosed herself from her         
companion's clasp1 and stood upright    
upon the edge of the cliff1 clasping her
 hands together and saying low1  as to  
herself1 ',father1 ,father6' as one who 
cannot refrain from that  appeal1 but   
who knows the ,father loves best1 and   
that to intercede is  vain2 and longing 
was in her face and joy4 ,for it was he1
 and she knew  that he could not now    
fail1 but would reach to the celestial  
country and  to the shining of the sun2 
yet that it was not hers to help him1   
nor any  man's1 nor angel's4 ,but the   
little ,pilgrim was ignorant1 not having
 been  taught2 and she committed herself
 to those depths1 though she feared     
them1 and though she knew not what she  
could do4 ,and once more the dense  air 
closed over her1 and the vacancy        
swallowed her up1 and when she  reached 
the rocks below1 there lay something at 
her feet which she felt  to be a man2   

but she could not see him nor touch him1
 and when she tried  to speak1 her voice
 died away in her throat and made no    
sound4 ,whether it  was the wind that   
caught it and swept it quite away1 or   
that the well of  that depth profound   
sucked every note upwards1 or whether   
because it was  not permitted that      
either man or angel should come out of  
their sphere1  or help be given which   
was forbidden1 the little ,pilgrim knew 
not1--for  never had it been said to her
 that she should stand aside where need 
was4  ,and surprise which was stronger  
than the icy wind1 and for a moment a   
great dismay1 took hold upon her1--for  
she understood not how it was that  the 
bond of silence should bind her1 and    
that she should be unable to put  forth 
her hand to help him whom she heard     
moaning and murmuring1 but  could not   
see4 ,and scarcely could her feet keep  
hold of the awful rock1  or her form    
resist the upward sweep of the wind2 but
 though he saw her  not nor she him1 yet

 could not she leave him in his weakness
 and misery1  saying to herself that    
even if she could do nothing1 it must be
 well that  a little love should be     
near4    ,then she heard him speak      
again1 crouching under the rock at her  
feet2  and he said faintly to himself1  
',that was no dream4 ,in the land of    
darkness there are no dreams nor voices 
that speak within us4 ,on the  earth    
they were never silent struggling and   
crying2 but there--all blank  and still4
 ,therefore it was no dream4 ,it was    
,one who came and looked me  in the     
face2 and love was in ,his eyes4 ,i have
 not seen love1 oh1 for so  long6 ,but  
it was no dream4 ,if ,god is a dream ,i 
know not1 but love ,i know4  ,and ,he   
said to me1 ,arise and go4 ,but to whom 
must ,i go8 ,the words are  words that  
once ,i knew1 and the face ,i knew4 ,but
 to whom1 to whom8'    ,the little      
,pilgrim cried aloud1 so that she       
thought the rocks must be  rent by the  
vehemence of her cry1 calling like the  

other1 ',father1  ,father1 ,father6' as 
if her heart would burst2 and it was    
like despair to  think that she made no 
sound1 and that the brother could not   
hear her who  lay thus fainting at her  
feet4 ,yet she could not stop1 but went 
on crying  like a child that has lost   
its way2 for to whom could a child call 
but to  her father1 and all the more    
when she cannot understand8 ,and she    
called  out and said that ,god was not  
,his name save to strangers1 if there   
are  any strangers1 but that ,his name  
was ,father1 and it was to ,him that all
  must go4 ,and all her being thrilled  
like a bird with its song1 so that  the 
very air stirred2 yet no voice came4    
,and she lifted up her face to  the     
watcher above1 and beheld where she     
stood holding up her hands a  little    
whiteness in the great dark4 ,but though
 these two were calling and  calling1   
the silence was dumb4 ,and neither of   
them could take him by the  hand nor    
lift him up1 nor show him1 far1 far     

above1 the little diamond of  the light1
 but were constrained to stand still and
 watch1 seeing that he  was one of those
 who are beyond hope4    ,after she had 
waited a long time1 he stirred again in 
the dark and  murmured to himself once  
more1 saying low1 ',i have slept and am 
strong4 ,and while ,i was sleeping ,he  
has come again2 ,he has looked at  me   
again4 ,and somewhere ,i will find ,him4
 ,i will arise and go2 ,i will  arise   
and go--'    ,and she heard him move at 
her feet and grope over the rock with   
his  hands2 but it was smooth as snow   
with no holding1 and slippery as ice4   
,and the watcher stood above and the    
,pilgrim below1 but could not help  him4
 ,he groped and groped1 and murmured to 
himself1 ever saying1 ',i  will arise   
and go4' ,and their hearts were wrung   
that they could not  speak to him nor   
touch him nor help him4 ,but at last in 
the dark there  burst forth a great cry1
 ',who said it8' and then a sound of    
weeping1  and amid the weeping1 words4  

',as when ,i was a child1 as when hope  
was--,i will arise and ,i will go--to my
 ,father1 to my ,father6 for now ,i     
remember1 and ,i know4'    ,the little  
,pilgrim sank down into a crevice of the
 rocks in the weakness  of her great    
joy4 ,and something passed her mounting 
up and up2 and it  seemed to her that he
 had touched her shoulder or her hand   
unawares1 and  that the dumb cry in her 
heart had reached him1 and that it had  
been good  for him that a little love   
stood by1 though only to watch and to   
weep4  ,and she listened and heard him  
go on and on2 and she herself ascended  
higher to the watch-tower4 ,and the     
watcher was gone who had waited there   
for her beloved1 for she had gone with  
him1 as the ,lord had promised her1  to 
be the one who should lead him to the   
holy city and to see the  ,father's     
face4 ,and it was given to the little   
,pilgrim to sound the silver  bells and 
to warn all the bands of the blessed1   
and the great angels and  lords of the  

whole world1 that from out the land of  
darkness and from the  regions beyond   
hope another had come4    ,she remained 
not there long1 because there were many 
who sought that  place that they might  
be the first to see if one beloved was  
among the  travellers by that terrible  
way1 and to welcome the brother or      
sister who  was the most dear to them of
 all the children of the ,father4 ,but  
it was  thus that she learned the last  
lesson of all that is in heaven and that
  is in earth1 and in the heights above 
and in the depths below1 which the      
great angels desire to look into1 and   
all the princes and powers4 ,and it  is 
this3 that there is that which is beyond
 hope yet not beyond love2 and  that    
hope may fail and be no longer possible1
 but love cannot fail1--for  hope is of 
men1 but love is the ,lord2 and there is
 but one thing which to  ,him is not    
possible1 which is to forget2 and that  
even when the ,father  has hidden ,his  
face and help is forbidden1 yet there   

goes ,he secretly and  cannot forbear4  
,but if there were any deep more        
profound1 and to which access was not1  
either from the dark mountains or by any
 other way1 the ,pilgrim was not        
taught1 nor ever found any knowledge1   
either among the angels who know  all   
things1 or among her brothers who were  
the children of men4          ,,iii4    
,,the ,,land ,,of ,,darkness4      ,i   
found myself standing on my feet1 with  
the tingling sensation of having  come  
down rapidly upon the ground from a     
height4 ,there was a similar  feeling in
 my head1 as of the whirling and        
sickening sensation of passing          
downwards through the air1 like the     
description ,dante gives of his  descent
 upon ,geryon4 ,my mind1 curiously      
enough1 was sufficiently  disengaged to 
think of that1 or at least to allow     
swift passage for the  recollection     
through my thoughts4 ,all the aching of 
wonder1 doubt1 and  fear which ,i had   
been conscious of a little while before 

was gone4 ,there  was no distinct       
interval between the one condition and  
the other1 nor in  my fall 7as ,i       
supposed it must have been7 had ,i any  
consciousness of  change4 ,there was the
 whirling of the air1 resisting my      
passage1 yet  giving way under me in    
giddy circles1 and then the sharp shock 
of once  more feeling under my feet     
something solid1 which struck1 yet      
sustained4  ,after a little while the   
giddiness above and the tingling below  
passed  away1 and ,i felt able to look  
about me and discern where ,i was4 ,but 
not  all at once2 the things immediately
 about me impressed me first1 then the  
general aspect of the new place4        
,first of all the light1 which was      
lurid1 as if a thunder-storm were       
coming on4 ,i looked up involuntarily to
 see if it had begun to rain2 but  there
 was nothing of the kind1 though what ,i
 saw above me was a lowering  canopy of 
cloud1 dark1 threatening1 with a faint  
reddish tint diffused  upon the vaporous

 darkness4 ,it was1 however1 quite      
sufficiently clear to  see everything1  
and there was a good deal to see4 ,i was
 in a street of  what seemed a great and
 very populous place4 ,there were shops 
on either  side1 full apparently of all 
sorts of costly wares4 ,there was a     
continual  current of passengers up and 
down on both sides of the way1 and in   
the  middle of the street carriages of  
every description1 humble and splendid4 
,the noise was great and ceaseless2 the 
traffic continual4 ,some of the  shops  
were most brilliantly lighted1          
attracting one's eyes in the sombre     
light outside1 which1 however1 had just 
enough of day in it to make these  spots
 of illumination look sickly4 ,most of  
the places thus distinguished  were     
apparently bright with the electric or  
some other scientific light2  and       
delicate machines of every description1 
brought to the greatest  perfection1    
were in some windows1 as were also many 
fine productions of  art1 but mingled   

with the gaudiest and coarsest in a way 
which struck me  with astonishment4 ,i  
was also much surprised by the fact that
 the  traffic1 which was never stilled  
for a moment1 seemed to have no sort of 
regulation4 ,some carriages dashed      
along1 upsetting the smaller vehicles   
in their way1 without the least         
restraint or order1 either1 as it       
seemed1  from their own good sense or   
from the laws and customs of the place4 
,when  an accident happened1 there was a
 great shouting1 and sometimes a furious
  encounter2 but nobody seemed to       
interfere4 ,this was the first          
impression  made upon me4 ,the          
passengers on the pavement were equally 
regardless4 ,i  was myself pushed out of
 the way1 first to one side1 then to    
another1  hustled when ,i paused for a  
moment1 trodden upon and driven about4  
,i  retreated soon to the doorway of a  
shop1 from whence with a little more    
safety ,i could see what was going on4  
,the noise made my head ring4 ,it       

seemed to me that ,i could not hear     
myself think4 ,if this were to go on    
forever1 ,i said to myself1 ,i should   
soon go mad4    ',oh1 no1' said some one
 behind me1 'not at all4 ,you will get  
used to it2  you will be glad of it4    
,one does not want to hear one's        
thoughts2 most of  them are not worth   
hearing4'    ,i turned round and saw it 
was the master of the shop1 who had come
 to the  door on seeing me4 ,he had the 
usual smile of a man who hoped to sell  
his  wares2 but to my horror and        
astonishment1 by some process which ,i  
could  not understand1 ,i saw that he   
was saying to himself1 ',what a d----d  
fool6  here's another of those cursed   
wretches1 d---- him6' all with the same 
smile4 ,i started back1 and answered him
 as hotly1 ',what do you mean by        
calling me a d----d fool8 fool yourself1
 and all the rest of it4 ,is this  the  
way you receive strangers here8'        
',yes1' he said with the same smile1    
'this is the way2 and ,i only describe  

you as you are1 as you will soon see4   
,will you walk in and look over my      
shop8 ,perhaps you will find something  
to suit you if you are just setting  up1
 as ,i suppose4'    ,i looked at him    
closely1 but this time ,i could not see 
that he was  saying anything beyond what
 was expressed by his lips3 and ,i      
followed  him into the shop1 principally
 because it was quieter than the street1
  and without any intention of          
buying1--for what should ,i buy in a    
strange  place where ,i had no settled  
habitation1 and which probably ,i was   
only  passing through8    ',i will look 
at your things1' ,i said1 in a way which
 ,i believe ,i had1 of  perhaps undue   
pretension4 ,i had never been over-rich1
 or of very elevated  station2 but ,i   
was believed by my friends 7or enemies7 
to have an  inclination to make myself  
out something more important than ,i    
was4 ',i  will look at your things1 and 
possibly ,i may find something that may 
suit  me2 but with all the ateliers of  

,paris and ,london to draw from1 it is  
scarcely to be expected that in a place 
like this--'    ,here ,i stopped to draw
 my breath1 with a good deal of         
confusion2 for ,i  was unwilling to let 
him see that ,i did not know where ,i   
was4    ',a place like this1' said the  
shop-keeper1 with a little laugh which  
seemed to me full of mockery1 'will     
supply you better1 you will find1       
than--any other place4 ,at least you    
will find it the only place             
practicable1' he added4 ',i perceive you
 are a stranger here4'    ',well1 ,i may
 allow myself to be so1 more or less4 ,i
 have not had time to  form much        
acquaintance with--the place2 what--do  
you call the place8--its  formal name1  
,i mean1' ,i said with a great desire to
 keep up the air of  superior           
information4 ,except for the first      
moment1 ,i had not experienced  that    
strange power of looking into the man   
below the surface which had  frightened 
me4 ,now there occurred another gleam of

 insight1 which gave me  once more a    
sensation of alarm4 ,i seemed to see a  
light of hatred and  contempt below his 
smile2 and ,i felt that he was not in   
the least taken  in by the air which ,i 
assumed4    ',the name of the place1' he
 said1 'is not a pretty one4 ,i hear the
  gentlemen who come to my shop say that
 it is not to be named to ears  polite2 
and ,i am sure your ears are very       
polite4' ,he said this with the  most   
offensive laugh1 and ,i turned upon him 
and answered him1 without  mincing      
matters1 with a plainness of speech     
which startled myself1 but  did not seem
 to move him1 for he only laughed again4
 ',are you not  afraid1' ,i said1 'that 
,i will leave your shop and never enter 
it more8'    ',oh1 it helps to pass the 
time1' he said2 and without any further 
comment  began to show me very elaborate
 and fine articles of furniture4 ,i had 
always been attracted to this sort of   
thing1 and had longed to buy such       
articles for my house when ,i had one1  

but never had it in my power4 ,now ,i   
had no house1 nor any means of paying so
 far as ,i knew1 but ,i felt quite  at  
my ease about buying1 and inquired into 
the prices with the greatest  composure4
    ',they are just the sort of thing ,i
 want4 ,i will take these1 ,i think2 but
  you must set them aside for me1 for ,i
 do not at the present moment  exactly  
know--'    ',you mean you have got no   
rooms to put them in1' said the master  
of the  shop4 ',you must get a house    
directly1 that's all4 ,if you're only up
 to  it1 it is easy enough4 ,look about 
until you find something you like1 and  
then--take possession4'    ',take       
possession'--,i was so much surprised   
that ,i stared at him  with mingled     
indignation and surprise--'of what      
belongs to another  man8' ,i said4    ,i
 was not conscious of anything          
ridiculous in my look4 ,i was indignant1
  which is not a state of mind in which 
there is any absurdity2 but the         
shop-keeper suddenly burst into a storm 

of laughter4 ,he laughed till he  seemed
 almost to fall into convulsions1 with a
 harsh mirth which reminded  me of the  
old image of the crackling of thorns1   
and had neither amusement  nor warmth in
 it2 and presently this was echoed all  
around1 and looking  up1 ,i saw grinning
 faces full of derision bent upon me    
from every side1  from the stairs which 
led to the upper part of the house and  
from the  depths of the shop            
behind1--faces with pens behind their   
ears1 faces in  workmen's caps1 all     
distended from ear to ear1 with a sneer 
and a mock  and a rage of laughter which
 nearly sent me mad4 ,i hurled ,i don't 
know  what imprecations at them as ,i   
rushed out1 stopping my ears in a       
paroxysm  of fury and mortification4 ,my
 mind was so distracted by this         
occurrence  that ,i rushed without      
knowing it upon some one who was        
passing1 and threw  him down with the   
violence of my exit2 upon which ,i was  
set on by a party  of half a dozen      

ruffians1 apparently his companions1 who
 would1 ,i  thought1 kill me1 but who   
only flung me1 wounded1 bleeding1 and   
feeling  as if every bone in my body had
 been broken1 down on the pavement1 when
  they went away1 laughing too4    ,i   
picked myself up from the edge of the   
causeway1 aching and sore from  head to 
foot1 scarcely able to move1 yet        
conscious that if ,i did not get  myself
 out of the way1 one or other of the    
vehicles which were dashing  along would
 run over me4 ,it would be impossible to
 describe the miserable  sensations1    
both of body and mind1 with which ,i    
dragged myself across the  crowded      
pavement1 not without curses and even   
kicks from the passers-by1  and avoiding
 the shop from which ,i still heard     
those shrieks of devilish  laughter1    
gathered myself up in the shelter of a  
little projection of a  wall1 where ,i  
was for the moment safe4 ,the pain which
 ,i felt was as  nothing to the sense of
 humiliation1 the mortification1 the    

rage with  which ,i was possessed4      
,there is nothing in existence more     
dreadful than  rage which is impotent1  
which cannot punish or avenge1 which has
 to  restrain itself and put up with    
insults showered upon it4 ,i had never  
known before what that helpless1 hideous
 exasperation was2 and ,i was           
humiliated beyond description1 brought  
down--,i1 whose inclination it was  to  
make more of myself than was            
justifiable--to the aspect of a         
miserable  ruffian beaten in a brawl1   
soiled1 covered with mud and dust1 my   
clothes  torn1 my face bruised and      
disfigured1--all this within half an    
hour or  there about of my arrival in a 
strange place where nobody knew me or   
could do me justice6 ,i kept looking out
 feverishly for some one with an  air of
 authority to whom ,i could appeal4     
,sooner or later somebody must go  by1  
who1 seeing me in such a plight1 must   
inquire how it came about1 must  help me
 and vindicate me4 ,i sat there for ,i  

cannot tell how long1  expecting every  
moment that were it but a policeman1    
somebody would  notice and help me2 but 
no one came4 ,crowds seemed to sweep by 
without a  pause1--all hurrying1        
restless2 some with anxious faces1 as if
 any delay  would be mortal2 some in    
noisy groups intercepting the passage of
 the  others4 ,sometimes one would pause
 to point me out to his comrades with a 
shout of derision at my miserable       
plight1 or if by a change of posture ,i 
got outside the protection of my wall1  
would kick me back with a coarse        
injunction to keep out of the way4 ,no  
one was sorry for me2 not a look of     
compassion1 not a word of inquiry was   
wasted upon me2 no representative  of   
authority appeared4 ,i saw a dozen      
quarrels while ,i lay there1 cries of   
the weak1 and triumphant shouts of the  
strong2 but that was all4    ,i was     
drawn after a while from the fierce and 
burning sense of my own  grievances by a
 querulous voice quite close to me4     

',this is my corner1'  it said4 ',i've  
sat here for years1 and ,i have a right 
to it4 ,and here you  come1 you big     
ruffian1 because you know ,i haven't got
 the strength to  push you away4'       
',who are you8' ,i said1 turning round  
horror-stricken2 for close beside me    
was a miserable man1 apparently in the  
last stage of disease4 ,he was pale  as 
death1 yet eaten up with sores4 ,his    
body was agitated by a nervous          
trembling4 ,he seemed to shuffle along  
on hands and feet1 as though the        
ordinary mode of locomotion was         
impossible to him1 and yet was in       
possession of all his limbs4 ,pain was  
written in his face4 ,i drew away to    
leave him room1 with mingled pity and   
horror that this poor wretch should  be 
the partner of the only shelter ,i could
 find within so short a time of  my     
arrival4 ,i who--,it was horrible1      
shameful1 humiliating2 and yet the      
suffering in his wretched face was so   
evident that ,i could not but feel a    

pang of pity too4 ',i have nowhere to   
go1' ,i said4 ',i am--a stranger4 ,i    
have been badly used1 and nobody seems  
to care4'    ',no1' he said1 'nobody    
cares2 don't you look for that4 ,why    
should they8  ,why1 you look as if you  
were sorry for me6 ,what a joke6' he    
murmured  to himself1--'what a joke6    
,sorry for some one else6 ,what a fool  
the  fellow must be6'    ',you look1' ,i
 said1 'as if you were suffering        
horribly2 and you say you  have come    
here for years4'    ',suffering6 ,i     
should think ,i was1' said the sick man2
 'but what is that  to you8 ,yes2 ,i've 
been here for years1--oh1 years6 that   
means  nothing1--for longer than can be 
counted4 ,suffering is not the word4    
,it's  torture2 it's agony6 ,but who    
cares8 ,take your leg out of my way4'   
,i drew myself out of his way from a    
sort of habit1 though against my  will1 
and asked1 from habit too1 ',are you    
never any better than now8'    ,he      
looked at me more closely1 and an air of

 astonishment came over his  face4      
',what d'ye want here1' he said1        
'pitying a man8 ,that's something  new  
here4 ,no2 ,i'm not always so bad1 if   
you want to know4 ,i get better1  and   
then ,i go and do what makes me bad     
again1 and that's how it will go  on2   
and ,i choose it to be so1 and you      
needn't bring any of your d----d  pity  
here4'    ',i may ask1 at least1 why    
aren't you looked after8 ,why don't you 
get into  some hospital8' ,i said4      
',hospital6' cried the sick man1 and    
then he too burst out into that  furious
 laugh1 the most awful sound ,i ever had
 heard4 ,some of the  passers-by stopped
 to hear what the joke was1 and         
surrounded me with once  more a circle  
of mockers4    ',hospitals6 perhaps you 
would like a whole ,red ,cross ,society1
 with  ambulances and all arranged8'    
cried one4 ',or the ,misericordia6'     
shouted  another4 ,i sprang up to my    
feet1 crying1 ',why not8' with an       
impulse of  rage which gave me strength4

 ,was ,i never to meet with anything but
 this  fiendish laughter8 ',there's some
 authority1 ,i suppose1' ,i cried in my 
fury4 ',it is not the rabble that is the
 only master here1 ,i hope4' ,but       
nobody took the least trouble to hear   
what ,i had to say for myself4 ,the     
last speaker struck me on the mouth1 and
 called me an accursed fool for  talking
 of what ,i did not understand2 and     
finally they all swept on and  passed   
away4    ,i had been1 as ,i thought1    
severely injured when ,i dragged myself 
into  that corner to save myself from   
the crowd2 but ,i sprang up now as if   
nothing had happened to me4 ,my wounds  
had disappeared2 my bruises were  gone4 
,i was as ,i had been when ,i dropped1  
giddy and amazed1 upon the  same        
pavement1 how long--an hour8--before8   
,it might have been an hour1  it might  
have been a year1 ,i cannot tell4 ,the  
light was the same as  ever1 the        
thunderous atmosphere unchanged4 ,day1  
if it was day1 had  made no progress2   

night1 if it was evening1 had come no   
nearer1--all  was the same4    ,as ,i   
went on again presently1 with a vexed   
and angry spirit1 regarding on  every   
side around me the endless surging of   
the crowd1 and feeling a  loneliness1 a 
sense of total abandonment and solitude1
 which ,i cannot  describe1 there came  
up to me a man of remarkable appearance4
 ,that he was  a person of importance1  
of great knowledge and information1     
could not be  doubted4 ,he was very     
pale1 and of a worn but commanding      
aspect4 ,the lines  of his face were    
deeply drawn2 his eyes were sunk under  
high arched  brows1 from which they     
looked out as from caves1 full of a     
fiery  impatient light4 ,his thin lips  
were never quite without a smile2 but it
  was not a smile in which any pleasure 
was4 ,he walked slowly1 not  hurrying1  
like most of the passengers4 ,he had a  
reflective look1 as if  pondering many  
things4 ,he came up to me suddenly1     
without introduction or  preliminary1   

and took me by the arm4 ',what object   
had you in talking of  these antiquated 
institutions8' he said4 ,and ,i saw in  
his mind the gleam  of the thought1     
which seemed to be the first with all1  
that ,i was a fool1  and that it was the
 natural thing to wish me harm1 just as 
in the earth  above it was the natural  
thing1 professed at least1 to wish      
well1--to  say1 ,good-morning1 good-day1
 by habit and without thought4 ,in this 
strange country the stranger was        
received with a curse1 and it woke an   
answer not unlike the hasty ',curse you1
 then1 also6' which seemed to come      
without any will of mine through my     
mind4 ,but this provoked only a smile   
from my new friend4 ,he took no notice4 
,he was disposed to examine me1 to  find
 some amusement perhaps--how could ,i   
tell8--in what ,i might say4    ',what  
antiquated things8'    ',are you still  
so slow of understanding8 ,what were    
they--hospitals8 ,the  pretences of a   
world that can still deceive itself4    

,did you expect to  find them here8'    
',i expected to find--how should ,i     
know8' ,i said1 bewildered--'some       
shelter for a poor wretch where he could
 be cared for1 not to be left  there to 
die in the street4 ,expected6 ,i never  
thought4 ,i took it for  granted--'     
',to die in the street6' he cried with a
 smile and a shrug of his  shoulders4   
',you'll learn better by and by4 ,and if
 he did die in the  street1 what then8  
,what is that to you8'    ',to me6' ,i  
turned and looked at him1 amazed2 but he
 had somehow shut his  soul1 so that ,i 
could see nothing but the deep eyes in  
their caves1 and  the smile upon the    
close-shut mouth4 ',no more to me than  
to any one4 ,i  only spoke for          
humanity's sake1 as--a fellow-creature4'
    ,my new acquaintance gave way to a  
silent laugh within himself1 which was  
not so offensive as the loud laugh of   
the crowd1 but yet was more             
exasperating than words can say4 ',you  
think that matters8 ,but it does not    

hurt you that he should he in pain4 ,it 
would do you no good if he were to  get 
well4 ,why should you trouble yourself  
one way or the other8 ,let him  die--if 
he can--,that makes no difference to you
 or me4'    ',i must be dull indeed1' ,i
 cried1--'slow of understanding1 as you 
say4  ,this is going back to the ideas  
of times beyond knowledge--before       
,christianity--' ,as soon as ,i had said
 this ,i felt somehow--,i could not     
tell how--as if my voice jarred1 as if  
something false and unnatural was  in   
what ,i said4 ,my companion gave my arm 
a twist as if with a shock of  surprise1
 then laughed in his inward way again4  
',we don't think much of that here1 nor 
of your modern pretences in  general4   
,the only thing that touches you and me 
is what hurts or helps  ourselves4 ,to  
be sure1 it all comes to the same       
thing1--for ,i suppose it  annoys you to
 see that wretch writhing2 it hurts your
 more delicate1  highly-cultivated      
consciousness4'    ',it has nothing to  

do with my consciousness1' ,i cried     
angrily2 'it is a  shame to let a       
fellow-creature suffer if we can prevent
 it4'    ',why shouldn't he suffer8'    
said my companion4 ,we passed as he     
spoke some  other squalid1 wretched     
creatures shuffling among the crowd1    
whom he  kicked with his foot1 calling  
forth a yell of pain and curses4 ,this  
he  regarded with a supreme contemptuous
 calm which stupefied me4 ,nor did any  
of the passers-by show the slightest    
inclination to take the part of the     
sufferers4 ,they laughed1 or shouted out
 a gibe1 or what was still more         
wonderful1 went on with a complete      
unaffected indifference1 as if all  this
 was natural4 ,i tried to disengage my  
arm in horror and dismay1 but  he held  
me fast with a pressure that hurt me4   
',that's the question1' he  said4 ',what
 have we to do with it8 ,your fictitious
 consciousness makes it  painful to you4
 ,to me1 on the contrary1 who take the  
view of nature1 it  is a pleasurable    

feeling4 ,it enhances the amount of     
ease1 whatever that  may be1 which ,i   
enjoy4 ,i am in no pain4 ,that brute who
 is'--and he  flicked with a stick he   
carried the uncovered wound of a wretch 
upon the  roadside--'makes me more      
satisfied with my condition4 ,ah6 you   
think it  is ,i who am the brute8 ,you  
will change your mind by and by4'       
',never6' ,i cried1 wrenching my arm    
from his with an effort1 'if ,i should  
live a hundred years4'    ',a hundred   
years1--a drop in the bucket6' he said  
with his silent laugh4  ',you will live 
forever1 and you will come to my view2  
and we shall meet  in the course of     
ages1 from time to time1 to compare     
notes4 ,i would say  good-by after the  
old fashion1 but you are but newly      
arrived1 and ,i will  not treat you so  
badly as that4' ,with which he parted   
from me1 waving his  hand1 with his     
everlasting horrible smile4             
',good-by6' ,i said to myself1 'good-by6
 why should it be treating me badly  to 

say good-by--'    ,i was startled by a  
buffet on the mouth4 ',take that6' cried
 some one1  'to teach you how to wish   
the worst of tortures to people who have
 done  you no harm4'    ',what have ,i  
said8 ,i meant no harm2 ,i repeated only
 what is the commonest  civility1 the   
merest good manners4'    ',you wished1' 
said the man who had struck me1--',i    
won't repeat the words3  to me1 for it  
was ,i only that heard them1 the awful  
company that hurts  most1 that sets     
everything before us1 both past and to  
come1 and cuts  like a sword and burns  
like fire4 ,i'll say it to yourself1 and
 see how it  feels4 ,god be with you6   
,there6 it is said1 and we all must bear
 it1  thanks1 you fool and accursed1 to 
you4'    ,and then there came a pause   
over all the place1 an awful            
stillness1--hundreds of men and women   
standing clutching with desperate       
movements at their hearts as if to tear 
them out1 moving their heads as  if to  
dash them against the wall1 wringing    

their hands1 with a look upon  all their
 convulsed faces which ,i can never     
forget4 ,they all turned to  me1 cursing
 me with those horrible eyes of anguish4
 ,and everything was  still2 the noise  
all stopped for a moment1 the air all   
silent1 with a  silence that could be   
felt4 ,and then suddenly out of the     
crowd there came  a great piercing cry2 
and everything began again exactly as   
before4    ,while this pause occurred1  
and while ,i stood wondering1           
bewildered1  understanding nothing1     
there came over me a darkness1 a        
blackness1 a  sense of misery such as   
never in all my life--though ,i have    
known  troubles enough--,i had felt     
before4 ,all that had happened to me    
throughout my existence seemed to rise  
pale and terrible in a hundred  scenes  
before me1--all momentary1 intense1 as  
if each was the present  moment4 ,and in
 each of these scenes ,i saw what ,i had
 never seen before4 ,i  saw where ,i had
 taken the wrong instead of the right   

step1 in what  wantonness1 with what    
self-will it had been done2 how ,god 7,i
 shuddered at  the name7 had spoken and 
called me1 and even entreated1 and ,i   
had  withstood and refused4 ,all the    
evil ,i had done came back1 and spread  
itself out before my eyes2 and ,i       
loathed it1 yet knew that ,i had chosen 
it1 and that it would be with me        
forever4 ,i saw it all in the twinkling 
of an eye1 in a moment1 while ,i stood  
there1 and all men with me1 in the      
horror of awful thought4 ,then it ceased
 as it had come1 instantaneously1  and  
the noise and the laughter1 and the     
quarrels and cries1 and all the         
commotion of this new bewildering place1
 in a moment began again4 ,i had  seen  
no one while this strange paroxysm      
lasted4 ,when it disappeared1 ,i  came  
to myself1 emerging as from a dream1 and
 looked into the face of the  man whose 
words1 not careless like mine1 had      
brought it upon us4 ,our eyes  met1 and 
his were surrounded by curves and lines 

of anguish which were  terrible to see4 
',well1' he said with a short laugh1    
which was forced and harsh1 'how do  you
 like it8 that is what happens when--,if
 it came often1 who could  endure it8'  
,he was not like the rest4 ,there was no
 sneer upon his face1  no gibe at my    
simplicity4 ,even now1 when all had     
recovered1 he was still  quivering with 
something that looked like a nobler     
pain4 ,his face was  very grave1 the    
lines deeply drawn in it2 and he seemed 
to be seeking no  amusement or          
distraction1 nor to take any part in the
 noise and tumult  which was going on   
around4    ',do you know what that cry  
meant8' he said4 ',did you hear that    
cry8 ,it  was some one who saw--even    
here once in a long time1 they say1 it  
can  be seen--'    ',what can be seen8' 
,he shook his head1 looking at me with a
 meaning which ,i could not  interpret4 
,it was beyond the range of my thoughts4
 ,i came to know after1  or ,i never    
could have made this record4 ,but on    

that subject he said no  more4 ,he      
turned the way ,i was going1 though it  
mattered nothing what way  ,i went1 for 
all were the same to me4 ',you are one  
of the new-comers8' he  said2 'you have 
not been long here--'    ',tell me1' ,i 
cried1 'what you mean by here4 ,where   
are we8 ,how can one  tell who has      
fallen--he knows not whence or where8   
,what is this place8 ,i  have never seen
 anything like it4 ,it seems to me that 
,i hate it already1  though ,i know not 
what it is4'    ,he shook his head once 
more4 ',you will hate it more and more1'
 he said2  'but of these dreadful       
streets you will never be free1         
unless--' ,and here  he stopped again4  
',unless--what8 ,if it is possible1 ,i  
will be free of them1 and that  before  
long4'    ,he smiled at me faintly1 as  
we smile at children1 but not with      
derision4    ',how shall you do that8   
,between this miserable world and all   
others1  there is a great gulf fixed4   
,it is full of all the bitterness and   

tears  that come from all the universe4 
,these drop from them1 but stagnate     
here4  ,we1 you perceive1 have no tears1
 not even at moments--' ,then1 ',you    
will  soon be accustomed to all this1'  
he said4 ',you will fall into the way4  
,perhaps you will be able to amuse      
yourself to make it passable4 ,many do4 
,there are a number of fine things to be
 seen here4 ,if you are curious1  come  
with me and ,i will show you4 ,or       
work1--there is even work4 ,there is    
only one thing that is impossible1 or if
 not impossible--' ,and here he  paused 
again and raised his eyes to the dark   
clouds and lurid sky  overhead4 ',the   
man who gave that cry6 if ,i could but  
find him6 he must  have seen--'         
',what could he see8' ,i asked4 ,but    
there arose in my mind something like   
contempt4 ,a visionary6 who could not   
speak plainly1 who broke off into       
mysterious inferences1 and appeared to  
know more than he would say4 ,it  seemed
 foolish to waste time1 when evidently  

there was still so much to  see1 in the 
company of such a man2 and ,i began     
already to feel more at  home4 ,there   
was something in that moment of anguish 
which had wrought a  strange familiarity
 in me with my surroundings4 ,it was so 
great a relief  to return out of the    
misery of that sharp and horrible       
self-realization1  to what had come to  
be1 in comparison1 easy and well known4 
,i had no  desire to go back and grope  
among the mysteries and anguish so      
suddenly  revealed4 ,i was glad to be   
free from them1 to be left to myself1 to
 get a  little pleasure perhaps like the
 others4 ,while these thoughts passed   
through my mind1 ,i had gone on without 
any active impulse of my own1 as        
everybody else did2 and my latest       
companion had disappeared4 ,he saw1 no  
doubt1 without any need for words1 what 
my feelings were4 ,and ,i proceeded  on 
my way4 ,i felt better as ,i got more   
accustomed to the place1 or  perhaps it 
was the sensation of relief after that  

moment of indescribable  pain4 ,as for  
the sights in the streets1 ,i began to  
grow used to them4 ,the  wretched       
creatures who strolled or sat about with
 signs of sickness or  wounds upon them 
disgusted me only1 they no longer called
 forth my pity4  ,i began to feel       
ashamed of my silly questions about the 
hospital4 ,all the  same1 it would have 
been a good thing to have had some      
receptacle for  them1 into which they   
might have been driven out of the way4  
,i felt an  inclination to push them    
aside as ,i saw other people do1 but was
 a little  ashamed of that impulse too2 
and so ,i went on4 ,there seemed no     
quiet  streets1 so far as ,i could make 
out1 in the place4 ,some were smaller1  
meaner1 with a different kind of        
passengers1 but the same hubbub and     
unresting movement everywhere4 ,i saw no
 signs of melancholy or  seriousness2   
active pain1 violence1 brutality1 the   
continual shock of  quarrels and blows1 
but no pensive faces about1 no          

sorrowfulness1 nor the  kind of trouble 
which brings thought4 ,everybody was    
fully occupied1  pushing on as if in a  
race1 pausing for nothing4    ,the      
glitter of the lights1 the shouts1 and  
sounds of continual going1 the  endless 
whirl of passers-by1 confused and tired 
me after a while4 ,i went  as far out as
 ,i could go to what seemed the         
out-skirts of the place1  where ,i could
 by glimpses perceive a low horizon all 
lurid and glowing1  which seemed to     
sweep round and round4 ,against it in   
the distance stood  up the outline1     
black against that red glow1 of other   
towers and  house-tops1 so many and     
great that there was evidently another  
town  between us and the sunset1 if     
sunset it was4 ,i have seen a western   
sky  like it when there were storms     
about1 and all the colors of the sky    
were  heightened and darkened by angry  
influences4 ,the distant town rose      
against it1 cutting the firmament so    
that it might have been tongues of      

flame flickering between the dark solid 
outlines2 and across the waste  open    
country which lay between the two       
cities1 there came a distant hum  like  
the sound of the sea1 which was in      
reality the roar of that other          
multitude4 ,the country between showed  
no greenness or beauty2 it lay dark     
under the dark overhanging sky4 ,here   
and there seemed a cluster of giant     
trees scathed as if by lightning1 their 
bare boughs standing up as high  as the 
distant towers1 their trunks like black 
columns without foliage4  ,openings here
 and there1 with glimmering lights1     
looked like the mouths  of mines2 but of
 passengers there were scarcely any4 ,a 
figure here and  there flew along as if 
pursued1 imperfectly seen1 a shadow only
 a little  darker than the space about4 
,and in contrast with the sound of the  
city1  here was no sound at all1 except 
the low roar on either side1 and a      
vague cry or two from the openings of   
the mine1--a scene all drawn in         

darkness1 in variations of gloom1       
deriving scarcely any light at all from 
the red and gloomy burning of that      
distant evening sky4    ,a faint        
curiosity to go forwards1 to see what   
the mines were1 perhaps to  get a share 
in what was brought up from them1       
crossed my mind4 ,but ,i was  afraid of 
the dark1 of the wild uninhabited savage
 look of the landscape2  though when ,i 
thought of it1 there seemed no reason   
why a narrow stretch  of country between
 two great towns should be alarming4    
,but the impression  was strong and     
above reason4 ,i turned back to the     
street in which ,i had  first alighted1 
and which seemed to end in a great      
square full of people4  ,in the middle  
there was a stage erected1 from which   
some one was  delivering an oration or  
address of some sort4 ,he stood beside a
 long  table1 upon which lay something  
which ,i could not clearly distinguish1 
except that it seemed alive1 and moved1 
or rather writhed with convulsive       

twitchings1 as if trying to get free of 
the bonds which confined it4  ,round the
 stage in front were a number of seats  
occupied by listeners1  many of whom    
were women1 whose interest seemed to be 
very great1 some of  them being         
furnished with note-books2 while a great
 unsettled crowd  coming and going1     
drifted round1--many1 arrested for a    
time as they  passed1 proceeding on     
their way when the interest flagged1 as 
is usual to  such open-air assemblies4  
,i followed two of those who pushed     
their way to  within a short distance of
 the stage1 and who were strong1 big    
men1 more  fitted to elbow the crowd    
aside than ,i1 after my rough treatment 
in the  first place1 and the agitation  
,i had passed through1 could be4 ,i was 
glad1 besides1 to take advantage of the 
explanation which one was giving  to the
 other4 ',it's always fun to see this   
fellow demonstrate1' he said1  'and the 
subject to-day's a capital one4 ,let's  
get well forward1 and see  all that's   

going on4'    ',which subject do you    
mean8' said the other2 'the theme or the
 example8'  ,and they both laughed1     
though ,i did not seize the point of the
 wit4    ',well1 both1' said the first  
speaker4 ',the theme is nerves2 and as a
  lesson in construction and the        
calculation of possibilities1 it's fine4
  ,he's very clever at that4 ,he shows  
how they are all strung to give as  much
 pain and do as much harm as can be2 and
 yet how well it's all  managed1 don't  
you know1 to look the reverse4 ,as for  
the example1 he's a  capital one--all   
nerves together1 lying1 if you like1    
just on the  surface1 ready for the     
knife4'    ',if they're on the surface  
,i can't see where the fun is1' said the
 other4    ',metaphorically speaking4   
,of course they are just where other    
people's  nerves are2 but he's what you 
call a highly organized nervous         
specimen4 ,there will be plenty of fun4 
,hush6 he is just going to begin4'      
',the arrangement of these threads of   

being1' said the lecturer1 evidently    
resuming after a pause1 'so as to convey
 to the brain the most  instantaneous   
messages of pain or pleasure1 is        
wonderfully skilful and  clever4 ,i need
 not say to the audience before me1     
enlightened as it is by  experiences of 
the most striking kind1 that the        
messages are less of  pleasure than of  
pain4 ,they report to the brain the     
stroke of injury far  more often than   
the thrill of pleasure2 though sometimes
 that too1 no  doubt1 or life could     
scarcely be maintained4 ,the powers that
 be have  found it necessary to mingle a
 little sweet of pleasurable sensation1 
else our miserable race would certainly 
have found some means of  procuring     
annihilation4 ,i do not for a moment    
pretend to say that the  pleasure is    
sufficient to offer a just              
counterbalance to the other4 ,none  of  
my hearers will1 ,i hope1 accuse me of  
inconsistency4 ,i am ready to  allow    
that in a previous condition ,i asserted

 somewhat strongly that this  was the   
case2 but experience has enlightened us 
on that point4 ,our  circumstances are  
now understood by us all in a manner    
impossible while  we were still in a    
condition of incompleteness4 ,we are all
 convinced that  there is no            
compensation4 ,the pride of the         
position1 of bearing  everything rather 
than give in1 or making a submission we 
do not feel1 of  preserving our own will
 and individuality to all eternity1 is  
the only  compensation4 ,i am satisfied 
with it1 for my part4'    ,the orator   
made a pause1 holding his head high1 and
 there was a certain  amount of         
applause4 ,the two men before me cheered
 vociferously4 ',that is  the right way 
to look at it1' one of them said4 ,my   
eyes were upon them1  with no particular
 motive2 and ,i could not help starting1
 as ,i saw  suddenly underneath their   
applause and laughter a snarl of        
cursing1 which  was the real expression 
of their thoughts4 ,i felt disposed in  

the same  way to curse the speaker1     
though ,i knew no reason why4    ,he    
went on a little farther1 explaining    
what he meant to do2 and then  turning  
round1 approached the table4 ,an        
assistant1 who was waiting1  uncovered  
it quickly4 ,the audience stirred with  
quickened interest1 and ,i  with        
consternation made a step forwards1     
crying out with horror4 ,the  object on 
the table1 writhing1 twitching to get   
free1 but bound down by  every limb1 was
 a living man4 ,the lecturer went       
forwards calmly1 taking  his instruments
 from their case with perfect composure 
and coolness4  ',now1 ladies and        
gentlemen1' he said1 and inserted the   
knife in the  flesh1 making a long clear
 cut in the bound arm4 ,i shrieked out1 
unable  to restrain myself4 ,the sight  
of the deliberate wound1 the blood1 the 
cry  of agony that came from the victim1
 the calmness of all the lookers-on1    
filled me with horror and rage          
indescribable4 ,i felt myself clear the 

crowd away with a rush1 and spring on   
the platform1 ,i could not tell how4    
',you devil6' ,i cried1 'let the man go6
 ,where is the police8 ,where is a      
magistrate8 ,let the man go this moment6
 fiends in human shape6 ,i'll have  you 
brought to justice6' ,i heard myself    
shouting wildly1 as ,i flung  myself    
upon the wretched sufferer1 interposing 
between him and the knife4  ,it was     
something like this that ,i said4 ,my   
horror and rage were  delirious1 and    
carried me beyond all attempt at        
control4    ,through it all ,i heard a  
shout of laughter rising from everybody 
round4  ,the lecturer laughed2 the      
audience roared with that sound of      
horrible  mockery which had driven me   
out of myself in my first experience4   
,all  kinds of mocking cries sounded    
around me4 ',let him a little blood to  
calm  him down4' ',let the fool have a  
taste of it himself1 doctor4' ,last of  
all  came a voice mingled with the cries
 of the sufferer whom ,i was trying to  

shield1 ',take him instead2 curse him6  
take him instead4' ,i was bending  over 
the man with my arms outstretched1      
protecting him1 when he gave vent  to   
this cry4 ,and ,i heard immediately     
behind me a shout of assent1 which      
seemed to come from the two strong young
 men with whom ,i had been  standing1   
and the sound of a rush to seize me4 ,i 
looked round1 half mad  with terror and 
rage2 a second more and ,i should have  
been strapped on  the table too4 ,i made
 one wild bound into the midst of the   
crowd2 and  struggling among the arms   
stretched out to catch me1 amid the roar
 of the  laughter and cries--fled--fled 
wildly1 ,i knew not whither1 in panic   
and  rage and horror which no words     
could describe4 ,terror winged my feet4 
,i  flew1 thinking as little of whom ,i 
met1 or knocked down1 or trod upon in   
my way1 as the others did at whom ,i had
 wondered a little while ago4    ,no    
distinct impression of this headlong    
course remains in my mind1 save  the    

sensation of mad fear such as ,i had    
never felt before4 ,i came to  myself on
 the edge of the dark valley which      
surrounded the town4 ,all my  pursuers  
had dropped off before that time2 and ,i
 have the recollection of  flinging     
myself upon the ground on my face in the
 extremity of fatigue  and exhaustion4  
,i must have lain there undisturbed for 
some time4 ,a few  steps came and went1 
passing me2 but no one took any notice1 
and the  absence of the noise and       
crowding gave me a momentary respite4   
,but in my  heat and fever ,i got no    
relief of coolness from the contact of  
the soil4  ,i might have flung myself   
upon a bed of hot ashes1 so much was it 
unlike  the dewy cool earth which ,i    
expected1 upon which one can always     
throw  one's self with a sensation of   
repose4 ,presently the uneasiness of it 
made me struggle up again and look      
around me4 ,i was safe2 at least the    
cries of the pursuers had died away1 the
 laughter which made my blood  boil     

offended my ears no more4 ,the noise of 
the city was behind me1  softened into  
an indefinite roar by distance1 and     
before me stretched out  the dreary     
landscape in which there seemed no      
features of attraction4  ,now that ,i   
was nearer to it1 ,i found it not so    
unpeopled as ,i thought4 ,at  no great  
distance from me was the mouth of one of
 the mines1 from which  came an         
indication of subterranean lights2 and  
,i perceived that the  flying figures   
which ,i had taken for travellers       
between one city and  another were in   
reality wayfarers endeavoring to keep   
clear of what  seemed a sort of         
press-gang at the openings4 ,one of     
them1 unable to stop  himself in his    
flight1 adopted the same expedient as   
myself1 and threw  himself on the ground
 close to me when he had got beyond the 
range of  pursuit4 ,it was curious that 
we should meet there1 he flying from a  
danger which ,i was about to face1 and  
ready to encounter that from which  ,i  

had fled4 ,i waited for a few minutes   
till he had recovered his breath1  and  
then1 ',what are you running from8' ,i  
said4 ',is there any danger  there8'    
,the man looked up at me with the same  
continual question in his  eyes1--,who  
is this fool8    ',danger6' he said4    
',are you so new here1 or such a cursed 
idiot1 as not  to know the danger of the
 mines8 ,you are going across yourself1 
,i  suppose1 and then you'll see4'      
',but tell me1' ,i said2 'my experience 
may be of use to you afterwards1  if you
 will tell me yours now4'    ',of use6' 
he cried1 staring2 'who cares8 ,find out
 for yourself4 ,if they  get hold of    
you1 you will soon understand4'    ,i no
 longer took this for rudeness1 but     
answered in his own way1 cursing  him   
too for a fool4 ',if ,i ask a warning ,i
 can give one2 as for kindness1'  ,i    
said1 ',i was not looking for that4'    
,at this he laughed1 indeed we laughed  
together1--there seemed something       
ridiculous in the thought2 and presently

 he told me1 for the mere relief  of    
talking1 that round each of these       
pit-mouths there was a band to  entrap  
every passer-by who allowed himself to  
be caught1 and send him  down below to  
work in the mine4 ',once there1 there is
 no telling when you  may get free1' he 
said2 'one time or other most people    
have a taste of  it4 ,you don't know    
what hard labor is if you have never    
been there4 ,i had  a spell once4 ,there
 is neither air nor light2 your blood   
boils in your  veins from the fervent   
heat2 you are never allowed to rest4    
,you are put  in every kind of          
contortion to get at it1 your limbs     
twisted1 and your  muscles strained4'   
',for what8' ,i said4    ',for gold6' he
 cried with a flash in his eyes--'gold6 
,there it is  inexhaustible2 however    
hard you may work1 there is always more1
 and  more6'    ',and to whom does all  
that belong8' ,i said4 ',to whoever is  
strong enough  to get hold and keep     
possession1--sometimes one1 sometimes   

another4 ,the  only thing you are sure  
of is that it will never be you4'       
,why not ,i as well as another8 was the 
thought that went through my mind1  and 
my new companion spied it with a shriek 
of derision4    ',it is not for you nor 
your kind1' he cried4 ',how do you think
 you could  force other people to serve 
you8 ,can you terrify them or hurt them1
 or  give them anything8 ,you have not  
learned yet who are the masters here4'  
,this troubled me1 for it was true4 ',i 
had begun to think1' ,i said1 'that     
there was no authority at all1--for     
every man seems to do as he pleases2    
you ride over one1 and knock another    
down1 or you seize a living man and  cut
 him to pieces'--,i shuddered as ,i     
thought of it--'and there is nobody  to 
interfere4'    ',who should interfere8' 
he said4 ',why shouldn't every man amuse
 himself  as he can8 ,but yet for all   
that we've got our masters1' he cried   
with a  scowl1 waving his clinched fist 
in the direction of the mines2 'you'll  

find it out when you get there4'    ,it 
was a long time after this before ,i    
ventured to move1 for here it  seemed to
 me that for the moment ,i was          
safe1--outside the city1 yet not  within
 reach of the dangers of that           
intermediate space which grew clearer   
before me as my eyes became accustomed  
to the lurid threatening afternoon      
light4 ,one after another the fugitives 
came flying past me1--people who  had   
escaped from the armed bands whom ,i    
could now see on the watch near  the    
pit's mouth4 ,i could see too the       
tactics of these bands1--how they       
retired1 veiling the lights and the     
opening1 when a greater number than     
usual of travellers appeared on the way1
 and then suddenly widening out1        
throwing out flanking lines1 surrounded 
and drew in the unwary4 ,i could  even  
hear the cries with which their victims 
disappeared over the opening  which     
seemed to go down into the bowels of the
 earth4 ,by and by there  came flying   

towards me a wretch more dreadful in    
aspect than any ,i had  seen4 ,his      
scanty clothes seemed singed and burned 
into rags2 his hair1  which hung about  
his face unkempt and uncared for1 had   
the same singed  aspect2 his skin was   
brown and baked4 ,i got up as he        
approached1 and  caught him and threw   
him to the ground1 without heeding his  
struggles to  get on4 ',don't you see1' 
he cried with a gasp1 'they may get me  
again4'  ,he was one of those who had   
escaped out of the mines2 but what was  
it to  me whether they caught him again 
or not8 ,i wanted to know how he had    
been  caught1 and what he had been set  
to do1 and how he had escaped4 ,why     
should ,i hesitate to use my superior   
strength when no one else did8 ,i  kept 
watch over him that he should not get   
away4    ',you have been in the mines8' 
,i said4    ',let me go6' he cried4 ',do
 you need to ask8' and he cursed me as  
he  struggled1 with the most terrible   
imprecations4 ',they may get me yet4    

,let me go6'    ',not till you tell me1'
 ,i cried4 ',tell me and ,i'll protect  
you4 ,if they  come near ,i'll let you  
go4 ,who are they1 man8 ,i must know4'  
,he struggled up from the ground1       
clearing his hot eyes from the ashes    
that were in them1 and putting aside his
 singed hair4 ,he gave me a glance  of  
hatred and impotent resistance 7for ,i  
was stronger than he71 and then  cast a 
wild terrified look back4 ,the          
skirmishers did not seem to remark  that
 anybody had escaped1 and he became     
gradually a little more composed4  ',who
 are they8' he said hoarsely4 ',they're 
cursed wretches like you and  me2 and   
there are as many bands of them as there
 are mines on the road2  and you'd      
better turn back and stay where you are4
 ,you are safe here4'    ',i will not   
turn back1' ,i said4    ',i know well   
enough3 you can't4 ,you've got to go the
 round like the  rest1' he said with a  
laugh which was like a sound uttered by 
a wild  animal rather than a human      

voice4 ,the man was in my power1 and ,i 
struck  him1 miserable as he was4 ,it   
seemed a relief thus to get rid of some 
of  the fury in my mind4 ',it's a lie1' 
,i said2 ',i go because ,i please4 ,why 
shouldn't ,i gather a band of my own if 
,i please1 and fight those brutes1  not 
fly from them like you8'    ,he chuckled
 and laughed below his breath1          
struggling and cursing and  crying out1 
as ,i struck him again1 ',you gather a  
band6 ,what could you  offer them8      
,where would you find them8 ,are you    
better than the rest of  us8 ,are you   
not a man like the rest8 ,strike me you 
can1 for ,i'm down4 ,but  make yourself 
a master and a chief--you6'    ',why not
 ,i8' ,i shouted again1 wild with rage  
and the sense that ,i had no  power over
 him1 save to hurt him4 ,that passion   
made my hands tremble2 he  slipped from 
me in a moment1 bounded from the ground 
like a ball1 and  with a yell of        
derision escaped1 and plunged into the  
streets and the  clamor of the city from

 which ,i had just flown4 ,i felt myself
 rage after  him1 shaking my fists with 
a consciousness of the ridiculous       
passion of  impotence that was in me1   
but no power of restraining it2 and     
there was  not one of the fugitives who 
passed1 however desperate he might be1  
who  did not make a mock at me as he    
darted by4 ,the laughing-stock of all   
those miserable objects1 the sport of   
fate1 afraid to go forwards1 unable  to 
go back1 with a fire in my veins urging 
me on6 ,but presently ,i grew a  little 
calmer out of mere exhaustion1 which was
 all the relief that was  possible to   
me4 ,and by and by1 collecting all my   
faculties1 and impelled  by this        
impulse1 which ,i seemed unable to      
resist1 ,i got up and went  cautiously  
on4    ,fear can act in two ways3 it    
paralyzes1 and it renders cunning4 ,at  
this  moment ,i found it inspire me4 ,i 
made my plans before ,i started1 how to 
steal along under the cover of the      
blighted brushwood which broke the  line

 of the valley here and there4 ,i set   
out only after long thought1  seizing   
the moment when the vaguely perceived   
band were scouring in the  other        
direction intercepting the travellers4  
,thus1 with many pauses1 ,i  got near to
 the pit's mouth in safety4 ,but my     
curiosity was as great as1  almost      
greater than my terror4 ,i had kept far 
from the road1 dragging  myself         
sometimes on hands and feet over broken 
ground1 tearing my clothes  and my flesh
 upon the thorns2 and on that farther   
side all seemed so  silent and so dark  
in the shadow cast by some disused      
machinery1 behind  which the glare of   
the fire from below blazed upon the     
other side of the  opening1 that ,i     
could not crawl along in the darkness1  
and pass1 which  would have been the    
safe way1 but with a breathless hot     
desire to see and  know1 dragged myself 
to the very edge to look down4 ,though  
,i was in the  shadow1 my eyes were     
nearly put out by the glare on which ,i 

gazed4 ,it was  not fire2 it was the    
lurid glow of the gold1 glowing like    
flame1 at which  countless miners were  
working4 ,they were all about like      
flies1--some on  their knees1 some bent 
double as they stooped over their work1 
some lying  cramped upon shelves and    
ledges4 ,the sight was wonderful1 and   
terrible  beyond description4 ,the      
workmen seemed to consume away with the 
heat and  the glow1 even in the few     
minutes ,i gazed4 ,their eyes shrank    
into their  heads2 their faces          
blackened4 ,i could see some trying to  
secret morsels  of the glowing metal1   
which burned whatever it touched1 and   
some who were  being searched by the    
superiors of the mines1 and some who    
were punishing  the offenders1 fixing   
them up against the blazing wall of     
gold4 ,the fear  went out of my mind1 so
 much absorbed was ,i in this sight4 ,i 
gazed1  seeing farther and farther every
 moment into crevices and seams of the  
glowing metal1 always with more and more

 slaves at work1 and the entire         
pantomime of labor and theft1 and search
 and punishment1 going on and  on1--the 
baked faces dark against the golden     
glare1 the hot eyes taking a  yellow    
reflection1 the monotonous clamor of    
pick and shovel1 and cries  and curses1 
and all the indistinguishable sound of a
 multitude of human  creatures4 ,and the
 floor below1 and the low roof which    
overhung whole  myriads within a few    
inches of their faces1 and the irregular
 walls all  breached and shelved1 were  
every one the same1 a pandemonium of    
gold1--gold everywhere4 ,i had loved    
many foolish things in my life1 but     
never this2 which was perhaps why ,i    
gazed and kept my sight1 though there   
rose out of it a blast of heat which    
scorched the brain4    ,while ,i stooped
 over1 intent on the sight1 some one who
 had come up by  my side to gaze too was
 caught by the fumes 7as ,i suppose71   
for suddenly  ,i was aware of a dark    
object falling prone into the glowing   

interior with  a cry and crash which    
brought back my first wild panic4 ,he   
fell in a  heap1 from which his arms    
shot forth wildly as he reached the     
bottom1 and  his cry was half anguish   
yet half desire4 ,i saw him seized by   
half a  dozen eager watchers1 and       
pitched upon a ledge just under the     
roof1 and  tools thrust into his hands4 
,i held on by an old shaft1 trembling1  
unable  to move4 ,perhaps ,i cried too  
in my horror1--for one of the overseers 
who  stood in the centre of the glare   
looked up4 ,he had the air of ordering  
all that was going on1 and stood        
unaffected by the blaze1 commanding the 
other wretched officials1 who obeyed him
 like dogs4 ,he seemed to me1 in  my    
terror1 like a figure of gold1 the image
 perhaps of wealth or ,pluto1  or ,i    
know not what1 for ,i suppose my brain  
began to grow confused1 and my  hold on 
the shaft to relax4 ,i had strength     
enough1 however 7for ,i cared  not for  
the gold71 to fling myself back the     

other way upon the ground1  where ,i    
rolled backwards1 downwards1 ,i knew not
 how1 turning over and  over upon sharp 
ashes and metallic edges1 which tore my 
hair and  beard4--and for a moment ,i   
knew no more4    ,this fall saved me4 ,i
 came to myself after a time1 and heard 
the  press-gang searching about4 ,i had 
sense to lie still among the ashes      
thrown up out of the pit1 while ,i heard
 their voices4 ,once ,i gave myself  up 
for lost4 ,the glitter of a lantern     
flashed in my eyes1 a foot passed1      
crashing among the ashes so close to my 
cheek that the shoe grazed it4 ,i  found
 the mark after1 burned upon my flesh2  
but ,i escaped notice by a  miracle4    
,and presently ,i was able to drag      
myself up and crawl away2 but  how ,i   
reached the end of the valley ,i cannot 
tell4 ,i pushed my way along            
mechanically on the dark side4 ,i had no
 further desire to see what was  going  
on in the openings of the mines4 ,i went
 on1 stumbling and stupid1  scarcely    

capable even of fear1 conscious only of 
wretchedness and  weariness1 till at    
last ,i felt myself drop across the road
 within the  gateway of the other town1 
and lay there with no thought of        
anything but  the relief of being at    
rest4    ,when ,i came to myself1 it    
seemed to me that there was a change in 
the  atmosphere and the light4 ,it was  
less lurid1 paler1 gray1 more like      
twilight than the stormy afternoon of   
the other city4 ,a certain dead         
serenity was in the sky1--black         
paleness1 whiteness1 everything faint in
  it4 ,this town was walled1 but the    
gates stood open1 and ,i saw no defences
  of troops or other guardians4 ,i found
 myself lying across the threshold1  but
 pushed to one side1 so that the        
carriages which went and came should    
not be stopped or ,i injured by their   
passage4 ,it seemed to me that there    
was some thoughtfulness and kindness in 
this action1 and my heart sprang  up in 
a reaction of hope4 ,i looked back as if

 upon a nightmare on the  dreadful city 
which ,i had left1 on its tumults and   
noise1 the wild racket  of the streets1 
the wounded wretches who sought refuge  
in the corners1  the strife and misery  
that were abroad1 and1 climax of all1   
the horrible  entertainment which had   
been going on in the square1 the unhappy
 being  strapped upon the table4 ,how1  
,i said to myself1 could such things be8
 ,was  it a dream8 ,was it a nightmare8 
,was it something presented to me in a  
vision1--a strong delusion to make me   
think that the old fables which had     
been told concerning the end of mortal  
life were true8 ,when ,i looked back  it
 appeared like an allegory1 so that ,i  
might have seen it in a dream2  and     
still more like an allegory were the    
gold mines in the valley1 and  the      
myriads who labored there4 ,was it all  
true1 or only a reflection  from the old
 life mingling with the strange         
novelties which would most  likely elude
 understanding on the entrance into this

 new8 ,i sat within  the shelter of the 
gateway on my awakening1 and thought    
over all this4 ,my  heart was           
calm1--almost1 in the revulsion from the
 terrors ,i had been  through1 happy4 ,i
 persuaded myself that ,i was but now   
beginning2 that  there had been no      
reality in these latter experiences1    
only a curious  succession of           
nightmares1 such as might so well be    
supposed to follow a  wonderful         
transformation like that which must take
 place between our  mortal life and--the
 world to come4 ,the world to come6 ,i  
paused and  thought of it all1 until the
 heart began to beat loud in my breast4 
,what  was this where ,i lay8 ,another  
world1--a world which was not happiness1
  not bliss8 ,oh1 no2 perhaps there was 
no world of bliss save in dreams4       
,this1 on the other hand1 ,i said to    
myself1 was not misery2 for was not ,i  
seated here1 with a certain             
tremulousness about me1 it was true1    
after  all the experiences which1       

supposing them even to have been but    
dreams1 ,i  had come through1--a        
tremulousness very comprehensible1 and  
not at all  without hope8    ,i will not
 say that ,i believed even what ,i tried
 to think4 ,something in  me lay like a 
dark shadow in the midst of all my      
theories2 but yet ,i  succeeded to a    
great degree in convincing myself that  
the hope in me was  real1 and that ,i   
was but now beginning--beginning with at
 least a  possibility that all might be 
well4 ,in this half conviction1 and     
after  all the troubles that were over  
7even though they might only have been  
imaginary troubles71 ,i felt a certain  
sweetness in resting there within  the  
gateway1 with my back against it4 ,i was
 unwilling to get up again1  and bring  
myself in contact with reality4 ,i felt 
that there was pleasure  in being left  
alone4 ,carriages rolled past me        
occasionally1 and now and  then some    
people on foot2 but they did not kick me
 out of the way or  interfere with my   

repose4    ,presently as ,i sat trying  
to persuade myself to rise and pursue my
 way1  two men came up to me in a sort  
of uniform4 ,i recognized with another  
distinct sensation of pleasure that here
 were people who had authority1         
representatives of some kind of         
government4 ,they came up to me and bade
  me come with them in tones which were 
peremptory enough2 but what of          
that8--better the most peremptory       
supervision than the lawlessness from   
which ,i had come4 ,they raised me from 
the ground with a touch1 for ,i  could  
not resist them1 and led me quickly     
along the street into which  that       
gateway gave access1 which was a        
handsome street with tall houses  on    
either side4 ,groups of people were     
moving about along the pavement1        
talking now and then with considerable  
animation2 but when my companions  were 
seen1 there was an immediate moderation 
of tone1 a sort of respect  which looked
 like fear4 ,there was no brawling nor  

tumult of any kind in  the street4 ,the 
only incident that occurred was this3   
when we had gone  some way1 ,i saw a    
lame man dragging himself along with    
difficulty on the  other side of the    
street4 ,my conductors had no sooner    
perceived him than  they gave each other
 a look and darted across1 conveying me 
with them1  by a sweep of magnetic      
influence1 ,i thought1 that prevented me
 from  staying behind4 ,he made an      
attempt with his crutches to get out of 
the  way1 hurrying on--and ,i will allow
 that this attempt of his seemed to me  
very grotesque1 so that ,i could        
scarcely help laughing2 the other       
lookers-on in the street laughed too1   
though some put on an aspect of         
disgust4 ',look1 the tortoise6' some one
 said2 'does he think he can go  quicker
 than the orderlies8' ,my companions    
came up to the man while this           
commentary was going on1 and seized him 
by each arm4 ',where were you  going8   
,where have you come from8 ,how dare you

 make an exhibition of  yourself8' they 
cried4 ,they took the crutches from him 
as they spoke and  threw them away1 and 
dragged him on until we reached a great 
grated door  which one of them opened   
with a key1 while the other held the    
offender  7for he seemed an offender7   
roughly up by one shoulder1 causing him 
great pain4 ,when the door was opened1  
,i saw a number of people within1  who  
seemed to crowd to the door as if       
seeking to get out2 but this was  not at
 all what was intended4 ,my second      
companion dragged the lame man          
forwards1 and pushed him in with so much
 violence that ,i could see him  fall   
forwards on his face on the floor4 ,then
 the other locked the door1  and we     
proceeded on our way4 ,it was not till  
some time later that ,i  understood why4
    ,in the mean time ,i was hurried on1
 meeting a great many people who took   
no notice of me1 to a central building  
in the middle of the town1 where ,i  was
 brought before an official attended by 

clerks1 with great books  spread out    
before him4 ,here ,i was questioned as  
to my name and my  antecedents and the  
time of my arrival1 then dismissed with 
a nod to one  of my conductors4 ,he led 
me back again down the street1 took me  
into one  of the tall great houses1     
opened the door of a room which was     
numbered1  and left me there without a  
word4 ,i cannot convey to any one the   
bewildered consternation with which ,i  
felt myself deposited here2 and as  the 
steps of my conductor died away in the  
long corridor1 ,i sat down1 and  looking
 myself in the face1 as it were1 tried  
to make out what it was  that had       
happened to me4 ,the room was small and 
bare4 ,there was but one  thing hung    
upon the undecorated walls1 and that was
 a long list of  printed regulations    
which ,i had not the courage for the    
moment to look  at4 ,the light was      
indifferent1 though the room was high   
up1 and the  street from the window     
looked far away below4 ,i cannot tell   

how long ,i  sat there thinking1 and yet
 it could scarcely be called thought4 ,i
 asked  myself over and over again1     
,where am ,i8 is it a prison8 am ,i shut
 in1 to  leave this enclosure no more8  
what am ,i to do8 how is the time to    
pass8 ,i  shut my eyes for a moment and 
tried to realize all that had happened  
to  me2 but nothing save a whirl through
 my head of disconnected thoughts       
seemed possible1 and some force was upon
 me to open my eyes again1 to  see the  
blank room1 the dull light1 the vacancy 
round me in which there  was nothing to 
interest the mind1 nothing to please the
 eye1--a blank  wherever ,i turned4     
,presently there came upon me a burning 
regret for  everything ,i had left1--for
 the noisy town with all its tumults and
  cruelties1 for the dark valley with   
all its dangers4 ,everything seemed     
bearable1 almost agreeable1 in          
comparison with this4 ,i seemed to have 
been brought here to make acquaintance  
once more with myself1 to learn  over   

again what manner of man ,i was4        
,needless knowledge1 acquaintance       
unnecessary1 unhappy6 for what was there
 in me to make me to myself a  good     
companion8 ,never1 ,i knew1 could ,i    
separate myself from that eternal       
consciousness2 but it was cruelty to    
force the contemplation upon me4 ,all   
blank1 blank around me1 a prison6 ,and  
was this to last forever8    ,i do not  
know how long ,i sat1 rapt in this      
gloomy vision2 but at last it  occurred 
to me to rise and try the door1 which to
 my astonishment was  open4 ,i went out 
with a throb of new hope4 ,after all1 it
 might not be  necessary to come back4  
,there might be other expedients2 ,i    
might fall  among friends4 ,i turned    
down the long echoing stairs1 on which  
,i met  various people1 who took no     
notice of me1 and in whom ,i felt no    
interest  save a desire to avoid them1  
and at last reached the street4 ,to be  
out of  doors in the air was something1 
though there was no wind1 but a         

motionless still atmosphere which       
nothing disturbed4 ,the streets1 indeed1
  were full of movement1 but not of     
life--though this seems a paradox4 ,the 
passengers passed on their way in long  
regulated lines1--those who went        
towards the gates keeping rigorously to 
one side of the pavement1 those  who    
came1 to the other4 ,they talked to each
 other here and there2 but  whenever two
 men in uniform1 such as those who had  
been my conductors1  appeared1 silence  
ensued1 and the wayfarers shrank even   
from the looks of  these persons in     
authority4 ,i walked all about the      
spacious town4  ,everywhere there were  
tall houses1 everywhere streams of      
people coming  and going1 but no one    
spoke to me1 or remarked me at all4 ,i  
was as lonely  as if ,i had been in a   
wilderness4 ,i was indeed in a          
wilderness of men1  who were as though  
they did not see me1 passing without    
even a look of  human fellowship1 each  
absorbed in his own concerns4 ,i walked 

and walked  till my limbs trembled under
 me1 from one end to another of the     
great  streets1 up and down1 and round  
and round4 ,but no one said1 ,how are   
you8  ,whence come you8 ,what are you   
doing8 ,at length in despair ,i turned  
again  to the blank and miserable room1 
which had looked to me like a cell in a 
prison4 ,i had wilfully made no note of 
its situation1 trying to avoid  rather  
than to find it1 but my steps were drawn
 thither against my will4  ,i found     
myself retracing my steps1 mounting the 
long stairs1 passing the  same people1  
who streamed along with no recognition  
of me1 as ,i desired  nothing to do with
 them2 and at last found myself within  
the same four  blank walls as before4   
,soon after ,i returned ,i became       
conscious of measured steps passing the 
door1 and of an eye upon me4 ,i can say 
no more than this4 ,from what point  it 
was that ,i was inspected ,i cannot     
tell2 but that ,i was inspected1        
closely scrutinized by some one1 and    

that not only externally1 but by a  cold
 observation that went through and      
through me1 ,i knew and felt beyond  any
 possibility of mistake4 ,this recurred 
from time to time1 horribly1 at         
uncertain moments1 so that ,i never felt
 myself secure from it4 ,i knew  when   
the watcher was coming by tremors and   
shiverings through all my  being2 and no
 sensation so unsupportable has it ever 
been mine to bear4  ,how much that is to
 say1 no one can tell who has not gone  
through those  regions of darkness1 and 
learned what is in all their abysses4 ,i
 tried at  first to hide1 to fling      
myself on the floor1 to cover my face1  
to burrow  in a dark corner4 ,useless   
attempts6 ,the eyes that looked in upon 
me had  powers beyond my powers4 ,i felt
 sometimes conscious of the derisive    
smile  with which my miserable          
subterfuges were regarded4 ,they were   
all in vain4    ,and what was still more
 strange was that ,i had not energy to  
think of  attempting any escape4 ,my    

steps1 though watched1 were not         
restrained in  any way1 so far as ,i was
 aware4 ,the gates of the city stood    
open on all  sides1 free to those who   
went as well as to those who came2 but  
,i did not  think of flight4 ,of flight6
 ,whence should ,i go from myself8      
,though that  horrible inspection was   
from the eyes of some unseen being1 it  
was in  some mysterious way connected   
with my own thinking and reflections1 so
  that the thought came ever more and   
more strongly upon me1 that from  myself
 ,i could never escape4 ,and that       
reflection took all energy1 all  impulse
 from me4 ,i might have gone away when  
,i pleased1 beyond reach of  the        
authority which regulated               
everything1--how one should walk1 where 
one should live1--but never from my own 
consciousness4 ,on the other side  of   
the town lay a great plain1 traversed by
 roads on every side4 ,there  was no    
reason why ,i should not continue my    
journey there2 but ,i did not4  ,i had  

no wish nor any power in me to go away4 
,in one of my long1 dreary1             
companionless walks1 unshared by any    
human  fellowship1 ,i saw at last a face
 which ,i remembered2 it was that of the
  cynical spectator who had spoken to me
 in the noisy street1 in the  midst of  
my early experiences4 ,he gave a glance 
round him to see that  there were no    
officials in sight1 then left the file  
in which he was  walking1 and joined me4
 ',ah6' he said1 'you are here already1'
 with the  same derisive smile with     
which he had before regarded me4 ,i     
hated the  man and his sneer1 yet that  
he should speak to me was something1    
almost  a pleasure4    ',yes1' said ,i1 
',i am here4' ,then1 after a pause1 in  
which ,i did not know  what to say1 ',it
 is quiet here1' ,i said4    ',quiet    
enough4 ,do you like it better for that8
 ,to do whatever you please  with no one
 to interfere2 or to do nothing you     
please1 but as you are  forced to do    
it1--which do you think is best8'    ,i 

felt myself instinctively glance round1 
as he had done1 to make sure  that no   
one was in sight4 ,then ,i answered1    
faltering1 ',i have always held  that   
law and order were necessary things2 and
 the lawlessness of  that--that         
place--,i don't know its name--if there 
is such a place1' ,i  cried1 ',i thought
 it was a dream4'    ,he laughed in his 
mocking way4 ',perhaps it is all a      
dream2 who knows8' he  said4    ',sir1' 
said ,i1 'you have been longer here than
 ,i--'    ',oh1' cried he1 with a laugh 
that was dry and jarred upon the air    
almost  like a shriek1 'since before    
your forefathers were born6' ,it seemed 
to me  that he spoke like one who1 out  
of bitterness and despite1 made every   
darkness blacker still4 ,a kind of      
madman in his way2 for what was this    
claim of age8--a piece of bravado1 no   
doubt1 like the rest4    ',that is      
strange1' ,i said1 assenting1 as when   
there is such a  hallucination it is    
best to do4 ',you can tell me1 then1    

whence all this  authority comes1 and   
why we are obliged to obey4'    ,he     
looked at me as if he were thinking in  
his mind how to hurt me most4  ,then1   
with that dry laugh1 ',we make trial of 
all things in this world1'  he said1 'to
 see if perhaps we can find something we
 shall  like4--discipline here1 freedom 
in the other place4 ,when you have gone 
all the round like me1 then perhaps you 
will be able to choose4'    ',have you  
chosen8' ,i asked4    ,he only answered 
with a laugh4 ',come1' he said1 'there  
is amusement to be  had too1 and that of
 the most elevated kind4 ,we make       
researches here into  the moral nature  
of man4 ,will you come8 ,but you must   
take the risk1' he  added with a smile  
which afterwards ,i understood4    ,we  
went on together after this till we     
reached the centre of the place1  in    
which stood an immense building with a  
dome1 which dominated the city1  and    
into a great hall in the centre of that1
 where a crowd of people were           

assembled4 ,the sound of human speech1  
which murmured all around1 brought  new 
life to my heart4 ,and as ,i gazed at a 
curious apparatus erected on a          
platform1 several people spoke to me4   
',we have again1' said one1 'the old    
subject to-day4'    ',is it something   
about the constitution of the place8' ,i
 asked in the  bewilderment of my mind4 
,my neighbors looked at me with alarm1  
glancing  behind them to see what       
officials might be near4    ',the       
constitution of the place is the result 
of the sense of the  inhabitants that   
order must be preserved1' said the one1 
who had spoken  to me first4 ',the      
lawless can find refuge in other places4
 ,here we have  chosen to have          
supervision1 nuisances removed1 and     
order kept4 ,that is  enough4 ,the      
constitution is not under discussion4'  
',but man is1' said a second speaker4   
',let us keep to that in which we can   
mend nothing4 ,sir1 you may have to     
contribute your quota to our            

enlightenment4 ,we are investigating the
 rise of thought4 ,you are a  stranger2 
you may be able to help us4'    ',i am  
no philosopher1' ,i said with a panic   
which ,i could not explain  to myself4  
',that does not matter4 ,you are a fresh
 subject4' ,the speaker made a  slight  
movement with his hand1 and ,i turned   
round to escape in wild1  sudden fright1
 though ,i had no conception what could 
be done to me2 but  the crowd had       
pressed close round me1 hemming one in  
on every side4 ,i was  so wildly alarmed
 that ,i struggled among them1 pushing  
backwards with all  my force1 and       
clearing a space round me with my arms2 
but my efforts were  vain4 ,two of the  
officers suddenly appeared out of the   
crowd1 and  seizing me by the arms1     
forced me forwards4 ,the throng         
dispersed before  them on either side1  
and ,i was half dragged1 half lifted up 
upon the  platform1 where stood the     
strange apparatus which ,i had          
contemplated with  a dull wonder when ,i

 came into the hall4 ,my wonder did not 
last long4 ,i  felt myself fixed in it1 
standing supported in that position by  
bands and  springs1 so that no effort of
 mine was necessary to hold myself up1  
and  none possible to release myself4 ,i
 was caught by every joint1 sustained1  
supported1 exposed to the gaze of what  
seemed a world of upturned faces2  among
 which ,i saw1 with a sneer upon it1    
keeping a little behind the  crowd1 the 
face of the man who had led me here4    
,above my head was a  strong light1 more
 brilliant than anything ,i had ever    
seen1 and which  blazed upon my brain   
till the hair seemed to singe and the   
skin shrink4 ,i  hope ,i may never feel 
such a sensation again4 ,the pitiless   
light went  into me like a knife2 but   
even my cries were stopped by the       
framework in  which ,i was bound4 ,i    
could breathe and suffer1 but that was  
all4    ,then some one got up on the    
platform above me and began to speak4   
,he  said1 so far as ,i could comprehend

 in the anguish and torture in which ,i 
was held1 that the origin of thought was
 the question he was  investigating1 but
 that in every previous subject the     
confusion of ideas  had bewildered them1
 and the rapidity with which one        
followed another4  ',the present example
 has been found to exhibit great        
persistency of  idea1' he said4 ',we    
hope that by his means some clearer     
theory may be  arrived at4' ,then he    
pulled over me a great movable lens as  
of a  microscope1 which concentrated the
 insupportable light4 ,the wild1        
hopeless passion that raged within my   
soul had no outlet in the immovable     
apparatus that held me4 ,i was let down 
among the crowd1 and exhibited to  them 
every secret movement of my being1 by   
some awful process which ,i  have never 
fathomed4 ,a burning fire was in my     
brain2 flame seemed to run  along all my
 nerves2 speechless1 horrible1          
incommunicable fury raged in  my soul4  
,but ,i was like a child--nay1 like an  

image of wood or wax--in  the pitiless  
hands that held me4 ,what was the cut of
 a surgeon's knife to  this8 ,and ,i had
 thought that cruel6 ,and ,i was        
powerless1 and could do  nothing--to    
blast1 to destroy1 to burn with this    
same horrible flame the  fiends that    
surrounded me1 as ,i desired to do4     
,suddenly1 in the raging fever of my    
thoughts1 there surged up the           
recollection of that word which had     
paralyzed all around1 and myself  with  
them4 ,the thought that ,i must share   
the anguish did not restrain me  from my
 revenge4 ,with a tremendous effort ,i  
got my voice1 though the  instrument    
pressed upon my lips4 ,i know not what  
,i articulated save  ',god1' whether it 
was a curse or a blessing4 ,i had been  
swung out into  the middle of the hall1 
and hung amid the crowd1 exposed to all 
their  observations1 when ,i succeeded  
in gaining utterance4 ,my ,god6 my ,god6
  ,another moment and ,i had forgotten  
them and all my fury in the tortures    

that arose within myself4 ,what1 then1  
was the light that racked my brain8     
,once more my life from its beginning to
 its end rose up before me1--each  scene
 like a spectre1 like the harpies of the
 old fables rending me with  tooth and  
claw4 ,once more ,i saw what might have 
been1 the noble things ,i  might have   
done1 the happiness ,i had lost1 the    
turnings of the fated road  which ,i    
might have taken1--everything that was  
once so possible1 so  possible1 so easy6
 but now possible no more4 ,my anguish  
was immeasurable2  ,i turned and        
wrenched myself1 in the strength of     
pain1 out of the  machinery that held   
me1 and fell down1 down among all the   
curses that  were being hurled at       
me1--among the horrible and miserable   
crowd4 ,i had  brought upon them the    
evil which ,i shared1 and they fell upon
 me with a  fury which was like that    
which had prompted myself a few minutes 
before2  but they could do nothing to me
 so tremendous as the vengeance ,i had  

taken upon them4 ,i was too miserable to
 feel the blows that rained upon  me1   
but presently ,i suppose ,i lost        
consciousness altogether1 being almost  
torn to pieces by the multitude4        
,while this lasted1 it seemed to me that
 ,i had a dream4 ,i felt the blows      
raining down upon me1 and my body       
struggling upon the ground2 and yet  it 
seemed to me that ,i was lying outside  
upon the ground1 and above me  the pale 
sky which never brightened at the touch 
of the sun4 ,and ,i  thought that dull1 
persistent cloud wavered and broke for  
an instant1  and that ,i saw behind a   
glimpse of that blue which is heaven    
when we  are on the earth--the blue     
sky--which is nowhere to be seen but in 
the  mortal life2 which is heaven       
enough1 which is delight enough1 for    
those  who can look up to it1 and feel  
themselves in the land of hope4 ,it     
might be but a dream2 in this strange   
world who could tell what was  vision   
and what was true8    ,the next thing ,i

 remember was that ,i found myself lying
 on the floor of  a great room full of  
people with every kind of disease and   
deformity1  some pale with sickness1    
some with fresh wounds1 the lame1 and   
the  maimed1 and the miserable4 ,they   
lay round me in every attitude of pain1 
many with sores1 some bleeding1 with    
broken limbs1 but all struggling1  some 
on hands and knees1 dragging themselves 
up from the ground to stare  at me4     
,they roused in my mind a loathing and  
sense of disgust which it is  impossible
 to express4 ,i could scarcely tolerate 
the thought that ,i--,i6  should be     
forced to remain a moment in this       
lazar-house4 ,the feeling with  which ,i
 had regarded the miserable creature who
 shared the corner of the  wall with me1
 and who had cursed me for being sorry  
for him1 had  altogether gone out of my 
mind4 ,i called out1 to whom ,i know    
not1  adjuring some one to open the door
 and set me free2 but my cry was        
answered only by a shout from my        

companions in trouble4 ',who do you     
think  will let you out8' ',who is going
 to help you more than the rest8' ,my   
whole body was racked with pain2 ,i     
could not move from the floor1 on  which
 ,i lay4 ,i had to put up with the      
stares of the curious1 and the          
mockeries and remarks on me of whoever  
chose to criticise4 ,among them  was the
 lame man whom ,i had seen thrust in by 
the two officers who had  taken me from 
the gate4 ,he was the first to jibe4    
',but for him they would  never have    
seen me1' he said4 ',i should have been 
well by this time in  the fresh air4'   
',it is his turn now1' said another4 ,i 
turned my head as  well as ,i could and 
spoke to them all4    ',i am a stranger 
here1' ,i cried4 ',they have made my    
brain burn with their  experiments4     
,will nobody help me8 ,it is no fault of
 mine1 it is their  fault4 ,if ,i am to 
be left here uncared for1 ,i shall die4'
    ,at this a sort of dreadful chuckle 
ran round the place4 ',if that is what  

you are afraid of1 you will not die1'   
somebody said1 touching me on my  head  
in a way which gave me intolerable pain4
 ',don't touch me1' ,i cried4  ',why    
shouldn't ,i8' said the other1 and      
pushed me again upon the throbbing      
brain4 ,so far as my sensations went1   
there were no coverings at all1  neither
 skull nor skin upon the intolerable    
throbbing of my head1 which  had been   
exposed to the curiosity of the crowd1  
and every touch was  agony2 but my cry  
brought no guardian1 nor any defence or 
soothing4 ,i  dragged myself into a     
corner after a time1 from which some    
other wretch  had been rolled out in the
 course of a quarrel2 and as ,i found   
that  silence was the only policy1 ,i   
kept silent1 with rage consuming my     
heart4    ,presently ,i discovered by   
means of the new arrivals which kept    
coming in1  hurled into the midst of us 
without thought or question1 that this  
was  the common fate of all who were    
repulsive to the sight1 or who had any  

weakness or imperfection which offended 
the eyes of the population4 ,they  were 
tossed in among us1 not to be healed1 or
 for repose or safety1 but  to be out of
 sight1 that they might not disgust or  
annoy those who were  more fortunate1 to
 whom no injury had happened2 and       
because in their  sickness and          
imperfection they were of no use in the 
studies of the  place1 and disturbed the
 good order of the streets4 ,and there  
they lay  one above another1--a mass of 
bruised and broken creatures1 most of   
them  suffering from injuries which they
 had sustained in what would have been  
called in other regions the service of  
the ,state4 ,they had served like       
myself as objects of experiments4 ,they 
had fallen from heights where they  had 
been placed in illustration of some     
theory4 ,they had been tortured or      
twisted to give satisfaction to some    
question4 ,and then1 that the           
consequences of these proceedings might 
offend no one's eyes1 they were  flung  

into this receptacle1 to be released if 
chance or strength enabled  them to push
 their way out when others were brought 
in1 or when their  importunate knocking 
wearied some watchman1 and brought him  
angry and  threatening to hear what was 
wanted4 ,the sound of this knocking     
against  the door1 and of the cries that
 accompanied it1 and the rush towards   
the  opening when any one was brought   
in1 caused a hideous continuous noise   
and scuffle which was agony to my brain4
 ,every one pushed before the  other2   
there was an endless rising and falling 
as in the changes of a  feverish dream1 
each man as he got strength to struggle 
forwards himself1  thrusting back his   
neighbors1 and those who were nearest to
 the door  beating upon it without      
cease1 like the beating of a drum       
without cadence  or measure1 sometimes a
 dozen passionate hands together1 making
 a  horrible din and riot4 ,as ,i lay   
unable to join in that struggle1 and    
moved by rage unspeakable towards all   

who could1 ,i reflected strangely  that 
,i had never heard when outside this    
horrible continual appeal of the        
suffering4 ,in the streets of the city1 
as ,i now reflected1 quiet reigned4  ,i 
had even made comparisons on my first   
entrance1 in the moment of  pleasant    
anticipation which came over me1 of the 
happy stillness here  with the horror   
and tumult of that place of unrule which
 ,i had left4    ,when my thoughts      
reached this point ,i was answered by   
the voice of some  one on a level with  
myself1 lying helpless like me on the   
floor of the  lazar-house4 ',they have  
taken their precautions1' he said2 'if  
they will  not endure the sight of      
suffering1 how should they hear the     
sound of it8  ,every cry is silenced    
there4'    ',i wish they could be       
silenced within too1' ,i cried savagely2
 ',i would  make them dumb had ,i the   
power4'    ',the spirit of the place is 
in you1' said the other voice4    ',and 
not in you8' ,i said1 raising my head1  

though every movement was  agony2 but   
this pretence of superiority was more   
than ,i could bear4    ,the other made  
no answer for a moment2 then he said    
faintly1 ',if it is  so1 it is but for  
greater misery4'    ,and then his voice 
died away1 and the hubbub of beating and
 crying and  cursing and groaning filled
 all the echoes4 ,they cried1 but no one
  listened to them4 ,they thundered on  
the door1 but in vain4 ,they  aggravated
 all their pangs in that mad struggle to
 get free4 ,after a  while my companion1
 whoever he was1 spoke again4    ',they 
would rather1' he said1 'lie on the     
roadside to be kicked and  trodden on1  
as we have seen2 though to see that made
 you miserable4'    ',made me miserable6
 ,you mock me1' ,i said4 ',why should a 
man be miserable  save for suffering of 
his own8'    ',you thought otherwise    
once1' my neighbor said4    ,and then ,i
 remembered the wretch in the corner of 
the wall in the  other town1 who had    
cursed me for pitying him4 ,i cursed    

myself now for  that folly4 ,pity him6  
was he not better off than ,i8 ',i      
wish1' ,i cried1  'that ,i could crush  
them into nothing1 and be rid of this   
infernal  noise they make6'    ',the    
spirit of the place has entered into    
you1' said that voice4    ,i raised my  
arm to strike him2 but my hand fell on  
the stone floor  instead1 and sent a jar
 of new pain all through my battered    
frame4 ,and  then ,i mastered my rage   
and lay still1 for ,i knew there was no 
way but  this of recovering my          
strength1--the strength with which1 when
 ,i got it  back1 ,i would annihilate   
that reproachful voice and crush the    
life out of  those groaning fools1 whose
 cries and impotent struggles ,i could  
not  endure4 ,and we lay a long time    
without moving1 with always that tumult 
raging in our ears4 ,at last there came 
into my mind a longing to hear  spoken  
words again4 ,i said1 ',are you still   
there8'    ',i shall be here1' he said1 
'till ,i am able to begin again4'       

',to begin6 ,is there here1 then1 either
 beginning or ending8 ,go on2 speak  to 
me2 it makes me a little forget my      
pain4'    ',i have a fire in my heart1' 
he said2 ',i must begin and begin--till 
perhaps ,i find the way4'    ',what     
way8' ,i cried1 feverish and eager2 for 
though ,i despised him1 yet  it made me 
wonder to think that he should speak    
riddles which ,i could not  understand4 
,he answered very faintly1 ',i do not   
know4' ,the fool6 then it was only      
folly1 as from the first ,i knew it was4
 ,i felt then that ,i could treat  him  
roughly1 after the fashion of the       
place--which he said had got into  me4  
',poor wretch6' ,i said1 'you have      
hopes1 have you8 ,where have you come   
from8 ,you might have learned better    
before now4'    ',i have come1' he said1
 'from where we met before4 ,i have come
 by the  valley of gold4 ,i have worked 
in the mines4 ,i have served in the     
troops  of those who are masters there4 
,i have lived in this town of tyrants1  

and  lain in this lazar-house before4   
,everything has happened to me1 more and
  worse than you dream of4'    ',and    
still you go on8 ,i would dash my head  
against the wall and die4'    ',when    
will you learn1' he said with a strange 
tone in his voice1 which1  though no one
 had been listening to us1 made a sudden
 silence for a  moment1 it was so       
strange2 it moved me like that glimmer  
of the blue  sky in my dream1 and roused
 all the sufferers round with an        
expectation--though ,i know not what4   
,the cries stopped2 the hands beat no   
longer4 ,i think all the miserable crowd
 were still1 and turned to where  he    
lay4 ',when will you learn--that you    
have died1 and can die no more8'        
,there was a shout of fury all around   
me4 ',is that all you have to say8'  the
 crowd burst forth2 and ,i think they   
rushed upon him and killed him1  for ,i 
heard no more until the hubbub began    
again more wild than ever1  with furious
 hands beating1 beating against the     

locked door4    ,after a while ,i began 
to feel my strength come back4 ,i raised
 my head4 ,i  sat up4 ,i began to see   
the faces of those around me1 and the   
groups  into which they gathered2 the   
noise was no longer so                  
insupportable1--my  racked nerves were  
regaining health4 ,it was with a mixture
 of pleasure  and despair that ,i became
 conscious of this4 ,i had been through 
many  deaths2 but ,i did not die1       
perhaps could not1 as that man had said4
 ,i  looked about for him1 to see if he 
had contradicted his own theory4 ,but   
he was not dead4 ,he was lying close to 
me1 covered with wounds2 but he  opened 
his eyes1 and something like a smile    
came upon his lips4 ,a  smile1--,i had  
heard laughter1 and seen ridicule and   
derision1 but this ,i  had not seen4 ,i 
could not bear it4 ,to seize him and    
shake the little  remaining life out of 
him was my impulse2 but neither did ,i  
obey that4  ,again he reminded me of my 
dream--was it a dream8--of the opening  

in the  clouds4 ,from that moment ,i    
tried to shelter him1 and as ,i grew    
stronger  and stronger and pushed my way
 to the door1 ,i dragged him along with 
me4  ,how long the struggle was ,i      
cannot tell1 or how often ,i was balked1
 or  how many darted through before me  
when the door was opened4 ,but ,i  did  
not let him go2 and at last1 for now ,i 
was as strong as  before1--stronger than
 most about me1--,i got out into the air
 and  brought him with me4 ,into the    
air6 it was an atmosphere so still and  
motionless that there was no feeling of 
life in it1 as ,i have said2 but  the   
change seemed to me happiness for the   
moment4 ,it was freedom4 ,the  noise of 
the struggle was over2 the horrible     
sights were left behind4 ,my  spirit    
sprang up as if ,i had been born into   
new life4 ,it had the same  effect1 ,i  
suppose1 upon my companion1 though he   
was much weaker than ,i1  for he rose to
 his feet at once with almost a leap of 
eagerness1 and  turned instantaneously  

towards the other side of the city4     
',not that way1' ,i said2 'come with me 
and rest4'    ',no rest--no rest--my    
rest is to go on2' and then he turned   
towards me  and smiled and said1        
',thanks'--looking into my face4 ,what a
 word to hear6  ,i had not heard it     
since--,a rush of strange and sweet and 
dreadful  thoughts came into my mind4 ,i
 shrank and trembled1 and let go his    
arm1  which ,i had been holding2 but    
when ,i left that hold ,i seemed to fall
 back  into depths of blank pain and    
longing4 ,i put out my hand again and   
caught  him4 ',i will go1' ,i said1     
'where you go4'    ,a pair of the       
officials of the place passed as ,i     
spoke4 ,they looked at  me with a       
threatening glance1 and half paused1 but
 then passed on4 ,it  was ,i now who    
hurried my companion along4 ,i          
recollected him now4 ,he  was a man who 
had met me in the streets of the other  
city when ,i was  still ignorant1 who   
had convulsed me with the utterance of  

that name  which1 in all this world     
where we were1 is never named but for   
punishment1--the name which ,i had named
 once more in the great hall in  the    
midst of my torture1 so that all who    
heard me were transfixed with  that     
suffering too4 ,he had been haggard     
then1 but he was more haggard  now4 ,his
 features were sharp with continual     
pain2 his eyes were wild  with weakness 
and trouble1 though there was a meaning 
in them which  went to my heart4 ,it    
seemed to me that in his touch there was
 a certain  help1 though he was weak and
 tottered1 and every moment seemed full 
of  suffering4 ,hope sprang up in my    
mind1--the hope that where he was so    
eager to go there would be something    
better1 a life more livable than  in    
this place4 ,in every new place there is
 new hope4 ,i was not worn out  of that 
human impulse4 ,i forgot the nightmare  
which had crushed me  before1--the      
horrible sense that from myself there   
was no escape1--and  holding fast to his

 arm1 ,i hurried on with him1 not       
heeding where4 ,we  went aside into less
 frequented streets1 that we might      
escape  observation4 ,i seemed to myself
 the guide1 though ,i was the follower4 
,a great faith in this man sprang up in 
my breast4 ,i was ready to go  with him 
wherever he went1 anywhere--anywhere    
must be better than this4  ,thus ,i     
pushed him on1 holding by his arm1 till 
we reached the very  outmost limits of  
the city4 ,here he stood still for a    
moment1 turning  upon me1 and took me by
 the hands4    ',friend1' he said1      
'before you were born into the pleasant 
earth ,i had  come here4 ,i have gone   
all the weary round4 ,listen to one who 
knows3 all  is harder1 harder1 as you go
 on4 ,you are stirred to go on by the   
restlessness in your heart1 and each new
 place you come to1 the spirit of  that 
place enters into you4 ,you are better  
here than you will be farther  on4 ,you 
were better where you were at first1 or 
even in the mines1 than  here4 ,come no 

farther4 ,stay2 unless--' but here his  
voice gave way4 ,he  looked at me with  
anxiety in his eyes1 and said no more4  
',then why1' ,i cried1 'do you go on8   
,why do you not stay8'    ,he shook his 
head1 and his eyes grew more and more   
soft4 ',i am going1' he  said1 and his  
voice shook again4 ',i am going--to     
try--the most awful and  the most       
dangerous journey--' ,his voice died    
away altogether1 and he only  looked at 
me to say the rest4    ',a journey8     
,where8'    ,i can tell no man what his 
eyes said4 ,i understood1 ,i cannot tell
 how2  and with trembling all my limbs  
seemed to drop out of joint and my face 
grow moist with terror4 ,i could not    
speak any more than he1 but with my     
lips shaped1 ,how8 ,the awful thought   
made a tremor in the very air around4   
,he shook his head slowly as he looked  
at me1 his eyes1 all circled with  deep 
lines1 looking out of caves of anguish  
and anxiety2 and then ,i  remembered how
 he had said1 and ,i had scoffed at him1

 that the way he  sought was one he did 
not know4 ,i had dropped his hands in my
 fear2 and  yet to leave him seemed     
dragging the heart out of my breast1 for
 none but  he had spoken to me like a   
brother1 had taken my hand and thanked  
me4 ,i  looked out across the plain1 and
 the roads seemed tranquil and still4   
,there was a coolness in the air4 ,it   
looked like evening1 as if somewhere  in
 those far distances there might be a   
place where a weary soul might  rest2   
and ,i looked behind me1 and thought    
what ,i had suffered1 and  remembered   
the lazar-house and the voices that     
cried and the hands that  beat against  
the door1 and also the horrible quiet of
 the room in which ,i  lived1 and the   
eyes which looked in at me and turned my
 gaze upon myself4  ,then ,i rushed     
after him1 for he had turned to go on   
upon his way1 and  caught at his        
clothes1 crying1 ',behold me1 behold me6
 ,i will go too6'    ,he reached me his 
hand and went on without a word2 and ,i 

with terror  crept after him1 treading  
in his steps1 following like his shadow4
 ,what  it was to walk with another1 and
 follow1 and be at one1 is more than ,i 
can tell2 but likewise my heart failed  
me for fear1 for dread of what we  might
 encounter1 and of hearing that name or 
entering that presence which  was more  
terrible than all torture4 ,i wondered  
how it could be that one  should        
willingly face that which racked the    
soul1 and how he had  learned that it   
was possible1 and where he had heard of 
the way4 ,and as  we went on ,i said no 
word1 for he began to seem to me a being
 of another  kind1 a figure full of awe2
 and ,i followed as one might follow a  
ghost4  ,where would he go8 ,were we not
 fixed here forever1 where our lot had  
been  cast8 ,and there were still many  
other great cities where there might be 
much to see1 and something to distract  
the mind1 and where it might be  more   
possible to live than it had proved in  
the other places4 ,there might  be no   

tyrants there1 nor cruelty1 nor horrible
 noises1 nor dreadful  silence4 ,towards
 the right hand1 across the plain1 there
 seemed to rise  out of the gray        
distance a cluster of towers and roofs  
like another  habitable place2 and who  
could tell that something better might  
not be  there8 ,surely everything could 
not turn to torture and misery4 ,i      
dragged  on behind him1 with all these  
thoughts hurrying through my mind4 ,he  
was  going--,i dare to say it now1      
though ,i did not dare then--to seek out
 a  way to ,god2 to try1 if it was      
possible1 to find the road that led     
back1--that road which had been open    
once to all4 ,but for me1 ,i trembled   
at the thought of that road4 ,i feared  
the name1 which was as the plunging  of 
a sword into my inmost parts4 ,all      
things could be borne but that4 ,i      
dared not even think upon that name4 ,to
 feel my hand in another man's  hand was
 much1 but to be led into that awful    
presence1 by awful ways1  which none    

knew--how could ,i bear it8 ,my spirits 
failed me1 and my  strength4 ,my hand   
became loose in his hand2 he grasped me 
still1 but my  hold failed1 and ever    
with slower and slower steps ,i         
followed1 while he  seemed to acquire   
strength with every winding of the way4 
,at length he  said to me1 looking back 
upon me1 ',i cannot stop2 but your heart
 falls  you4 ,shall ,i loose my hand and
 let you go8'    ',i am afraid2 ,i am   
afraid6' ,i cried4    ',and ,i too am   
afraid2 but it is better to suffer more 
and to escape than  to suffer less and  
to remain4'    ',has it ever been known 
that one escaped8 ,no one has ever      
escaped4 ,this  is our place1' ,i said2 
'there is no other world4'    ',there   
are other worlds2 there is a world where
 every way leads to ,one  who loves us  
still4'    ,i cried out with a great cry
 of misery and scorn4 ',there is no     
love6' ,i said4    ,he stood still for a
 moment and turned and looked at me4    
,his eyes seemed  to melt my soul4 ,a   

great cloud passed over them1 as in the 
pleasant earth  a cloud will sweep      
across the moon2 and then the light came
 out and  looked at me again1 for       
neither did he know4 ,where he was going
 all might  end in despair and double   
and double pain4 ,but if it were        
possible that  at the end there should  
be found that for which he longed1 upon 
which his  heart was set6 ,he said with 
a faltering voice1 ',among all whom ,i  
have  questioned and seen1 there was but
 one who found the way4 ,but if one has 
found it1 so may ,i4 ,if you will not   
come1 yet let me go4'    ',they will    
tear you limb from limb2 they will burn 
you in the endless  fires1' ,i said4    
,but what is it to be torn limb from    
limb1 or burned with  fire8 ,there came 
upon his face a smile1 and in my heart  
even ,i laughed to  scorn what ,i had   
said4    ',if ,i were dragged every     
nerve apart1 and every thought turned   
into a  fiery dart1--and that is so1' he
 said1--'yet will ,i go1 if but perhaps 

,i  may see ,love at the end4'          
',there is no love6' ,i cried again with
 a sharp and bitter cry2 and the  echo  
seemed to come back and back from every 
side1 ,no love6 no love6 till  the man  
who was my friend faltered and stumbled 
like a drunken man2 but  afterwards he  
recovered strength and resumed his way4 
,and thus once more we went on4 ,on the 
right hand was that city1 growing  ever 
clearer1 with noble towers rising up to 
the sky1 and battlements and  lofty     
roofs1 and behind a yellow clearness1 as
 of a golden sunset4 ,my  heart drew me 
there2 it sprang up in my breast and    
sang in my ears1 ,come1  and come4      
,myself invited me to this new place as 
to a home4 ,the others  were wretched1  
but this will be happy1--delights and   
pleasures will be  there4 ,and before us
 the way grew dark with storms1 and     
there grew  visible among the mists a   
black line of mountains1 perpendicular  
cliffs1  and awful precipices1 which    
seemed to bar the way4 ,i turned from   

that  line of gloomy heights1 and gazed 
along the path to where the towers      
stood up against the sky4 ,and presently
 my hand dropped by my side1 that  had  
been held in my companion's hand2 and ,i
 saw him no more4    ,i went on to the  
city of the evening light4 ,ever and    
ever1 as ,i proceeded  on my way1 the   
sense of haste and restless impatience  
grew upon me1 so  that ,i felt myself   
incapable of remaining long in a place1 
and my desire  grew stronger to hasten  
on and on2 but when ,i entered the gates
 of the  city this longing vanished from
 my mind4 ,there seemed some great      
festival  or public holiday going on    
there4 ,the streets were full of        
pleasure-parties1 and in every open     
place 7of which there were many7 were   
bands of dancers1 and music playing2 and
 the houses about were hung with        
tapestries and embroideries and garlands
 of flowers4 ,a load seemed to be  taken
 from my spirit when ,i saw all         
this1--for a whole population does  not 

rejoice in such a way without some      
cause4 ,and to think that after  all ,i 
had found a place in which ,i might live
 and forget the misery and  pain which  
,i had known1 and all that was behind   
me1 was delightful to my  soul4 ,it     
seemed to me that all the dancers were  
beautiful and young1  their steps went  
gayly to the music1 their faces were    
bright with smiles4  ,here and there was
 a master of the feast1 who arranged the
 dances and  guided the musicians1 yet  
seemed to have a look and smile for     
new-comers  too4 ,one of these came     
forwards to meet me1 and received me    
with a  welcome1 and showed me a vacant 
place at the table1 on which were       
beautiful fruits piled up in baskets1   
and all the provisions for a meal4      
',you were expected1 you perceive1' he  
said4 ,a delightful sense of  well-being
 came into my mind4 ,i sat down in the  
sweetness of ease after  fatigue1 of    
refreshment after weariness1 of pleasant
 sounds and sights  after the arid way4 

,i said to myself that my past          
experiences had been a  mistake1 that   
this was where ,i ought to have come    
from the first1 that  life here would be
 happy1 and that all intruding thoughts 
must soon  vanish and die away4         
,after ,i had rested1 ,i strolled about1
 and entered fully into the  pleasures  
of the place4 ,wherever ,i went1 through
 all the city1 there was  nothing but   
brightness and pleasure1 music playing1 
and flags waving1 and  flowers and      
dancers and everything that was most    
gay4 ,i asked several  people whom ,i   
met what was the cause of the rejoicing2
 but either they  were too much occupied
 with their own pleasures1 or my        
question was lost  in the hum of        
merriment1 the sound of the instruments 
and of the dancers'  feet4 ,when ,i had 
seen as much as ,i desired of the       
pleasure out of doors1  ,i was taken by 
some to see the interiors of houses1    
which were all  decorated for this      
festival1 whatever it was1 lighted up   

with curious  varieties of lighting1 in 
tints of different colors4 ,the doors   
and  windows were all open2 and         
whosoever would could come in from the  
dance  or from the laden tables1 and sit
 down where they pleased and rest1      
always with a pleasant view out upon the
 streets1 so that they should  lose     
nothing of the spectacle4 ,and the      
dresses1 both of women and men1  were   
beautiful in form and color1 made in the
 finest fabrics1 and  affording         
delightful combinations to the eye4 ,the
 pleasure which ,i took  in all ,i saw  
and heard was enhanced by the surprise  
of it1 and by the  aspect of the places 
from which ,i had come1 where there was 
no regard to  beauty nor anything lovely
 or bright4 ,before my arrival here ,i  
had come  in my thoughts to the         
conclusion that life had no brightness  
in these  regions1 and that whatever    
occupation or study there might be1     
pleasure  had ended and was over1 and   
everything that had been sweet in the   

former  life4 ,i changed that opinion   
with a sense of relief1 which was more  
warm  even than the pleasure of the     
present moment2 for having made one such
  mistake1 how could ,i tell that there 
were not more discoveries awaiting  me1 
that life might not prove more          
endurable1 might not rise to something  
grander and more powerful8 ,the old     
prejudices1 the old foregone  conclusion
 of earth that this was a world of      
punishment1 had warped my  vision and my
 thoughts4 ,with so many added faculties
 of being1 incapable  of fatigue as we  
were1 incapable of death1 recovering    
from every wound or  accident as ,i had 
myself done1 and with no foolish        
restraint as to what  we should or      
should not do1 why might not we rise in 
this land to  strength unexampled1 to   
the highest powers8 ,i rejoiced that ,i 
had dropped  my companion's hand1 that  
,i had not followed him in his mad      
quest4  ,sometime1 ,i said to myself1 ,i
 would make a pilgrimage to the foot of 

those gloomy mountains1 and bring him   
back1 all racked and tortured as  he    
was1 and show him the pleasant place    
which he had missed4    ,in the mean    
time the music and the dance went on4   
,but it began to  surprise me a little  
that there was no pause1 that the       
festival continued  without             
intermission4 ,i went up to one of those
 who seemed the masters of  ceremony1   
directing what was going on4 ,he was an 
old man1 with a flowing  robe of        
brocade1 and a chain and badge which    
denoted his office4 ,he stood  with a   
smile upon his lips1 beating time with  
his hand to the music1  watching the    
figure of the dance4    ',i can get no  
one to tell me1' ,i said1 'what the     
occasion of all this  rejoicing is4'    
',it is for your coming1' he replied    
without hesitation1 with a smile  and a 
bow4    ,for the moment a wonderful     
elation came over me4 ',for my coming6' 
,but  then ,i paused and shook my head4 
',there are others coming besides me4   

,see6 they arrive every moment4'    ',it
 is for their coming too1' he said with 
another smile and a still  deeper bow2  
'but you are the first as you are the   
chief4'    ,this was what ,i could not  
understand2 but it was pleasant to hear1
 and ,i  made no further objection4     
',and how long will it go on8' ,i said4 
',so long as it pleases you1' said the  
old courtier4    ,how he smiled6 ,his   
smile did not please me4 ,he saw this1  
and distracted  my attention4 ',look at 
this dance1' he said2 'how beautiful are
 those  round young limbs6 ,look how the
 dress conceals yet shows the form and  
beautiful movements6 ,it was invented in
 your honor4 ,all that is lovely  is for
 you4 ,choose where you will1 all is    
yours4 ,we live only for this2  all is  
for you4' ,while he spoke1 the dancers  
came nearer and nearer till  they       
circled us round1 and danced and made   
their pretty obeisances1 and  sang1     
',all is yours2 all is for you2' then   
breaking their lines1 floated  away in  

other circles and processions and       
endless groups1 singing and  laughing   
till it seemed to ring from every side1 
',everything is yours2  all is for you4'
    ,i accepted this flattery ,i know   
not why1 for ,i soon became aware that  
,i  was no more than others1 and that   
the same words were said to every       
new-comer4 ,yet my heart was elated1 and
 ,i threw myself into all that was  set 
before me4 ,but there was always in my  
mind an expectation that  presently the 
music and the dancing would cease1 and  
the tables be  withdrawn1 and a pause   
come4 ,at one of the feasts ,i was      
placed by the  side of a lady very fair 
and richly dressed1 but with a look of  
great  weariness in her eyes4 ,she      
turned her beautiful face to me1 not    
with any  show of pleasure1 and there   
was something like compassion in her    
look4  ,she said1 ',you are very tired1'
 as she made room for me by her side4   
',yes1' ,i said1 though with surprise1  
for ,i had not yet acknowledged  that   

even to myself4 ',there is so much to   
enjoy4 ,we have need of a  little rest4'
    ',of rest6' said she1 shaking her   
head1 'this is not the place for rest4' 
',yet pleasure requires it1' ,i said1   
'as much as--' ,i was about to say      
pain2 but why should one speak of pain  
in a place given up to  pleasure8 ,she  
smiled faintly and shook her head again4
 ,all her  movements were languid and   
faint2 her eyelids drooped over her     
eyes4  ,yet when ,i turned to her1 she  
made an effort to smile4 ',i think you  
are also tired1' ,i said4    ,at this   
she roused herself a little4 ',we must  
not say so2 nor do ,i say  so4 ,pleasure
 is very exacting4 ,it demands more of  
you than anything else4  ,one must be   
always ready--'    ',for what8'    ',to 
give enjoyment and to receive it4'      
,there was an effort in her voice  to   
rise to this sentiment1 but it fell back
 into weariness again4    ',i hope you  
receive as well as give1' ,i said4      
,the lady turned her eyes to me with a  

look which ,i cannot forget1 and  life  
seemed once more to be roused within    
her1 but not the life of  pleasure2 her 
eyes were full of loathing and fatigue  
and disgust and  despair4 ',are you so  
new to this place1' she said1 'and have 
not learned  even yet what is the height
 of all misery and all weariness2 what  
is  worse than pain and trouble1 more   
dreadful than the lawless streets and   
the burning mines1 and the torture of   
the great hall and the misery of  the   
lazar-house--'    ',oh1 lady1' ,i said1 
'have you been there8'    ,she answered 
me with her eyes alone2 there was no    
need of more4 ',but  pleasure is more   
terrible than all1' she said2 and ,i    
knew in my heart  that what she said was
 true4    ,there is no record of time in
 that place4 ,i could not count it by   
days or  nights2 but soon after this it 
happened to me that the dances and the  
music became no more than a dizzy maze  
of sound and sight which made my  brain 
whirl round and round1 and ,i too       

loathed what was spread on the  table1  
and the soft couches1 and the garlands1 
and the fluttering flags  and ornaments4
 ,to sit forever at a feast1 to see     
forever the merrymakers  turn round and 
round1 to hear in your ears forever the 
whirl of the  music1 the laughter1 the  
cries of pleasure6 ,there were some who 
went on  and on1 and never seemed to    
tire2 but to me the endless round came  
at  last to be a torture from which ,i  
could not escape4 ,finally1 ,i could    
distinguish nothing1--neither what ,i   
heard nor what ,i saw2 and only a       
consciousness of something intolerable  
buzzed and echoed in my brain4 ,i       
longed for the quiet of the place ,i had
 left2 ,i longed for the noise in  the  
streets1 and the hubbub and tumult of my
 first experiences4 ,anything1  anything
 rather than this6 ,i said to myself2   
and still the dancers  turned1 the music
 sounded1 the bystanders smiled1 and    
everything went on  and on4 ,my eyes    
grew weary with seeing1 and my ears with

 hearing4 ,to  watch the new-comers rush
 in1 all pleased and eager1 to see the  
eyes of  the others glaze with          
weariness1 wrought upon my strained     
nerves4 ,i could  not think1 ,i could   
not rest1 ,i could not endure4 ,music   
forever and  ever1--a whirl1 a rush of  
music1 always going on and on2 and ever 
that  maze of movement1 till the eyes   
were feverish and the mouth parched2    
ever that mist of faces1 now one        
gleaming out of the chaos1 now another1 
some like the faces of angels1 some     
miserable1 weary1 strained with         
smiling1 with the monotony1 and the     
endless1 aimless1 never-changing  round4
 ,i heard myself calling to them to be  
still--to be still6 to pause  a moment4 
,i felt myself stumble and turn round in
 the giddiness and  horror of that      
movement without repose4 ,and finally1  
,i fell under the  feet of the crowd1   
and felt the whirl go over and over me1 
and beat upon  my brain1 until ,i was   
pushed and thrust out of the way lest ,i

 should  stop the measure4 ,there ,i    
lay1 sick1 satiate1 for ,i know not how 
long1--loathing everything around me1   
ready to give all ,i had 7but what  had 
,i to give87 for one moment of silence4 
,but always the music went on1  and the 
dancers danced1 and the people feasted1 
and the songs and the  voices echoed up 
to the skies4    ,how at last ,i        
stumbled forth ,i cannot tell4          
,desperation must have moved  me1 and   
that impatience which after every hope  
and disappointment comes  back and      
back1--the one sensation that never     
fails4 ,i dragged myself at  last by    
intervals1 like a sick dog1 outside the 
revels1 still hearing  them1 which was  
torture to me1 even when at last ,i got 
beyond the crowd4  ,it was something to 
lie still upon the ground1 though       
without power to  move1 and sick beyond 
all thought1 loathing myself and all    
that ,i had  been and seen4 ,for ,i had 
not even the sense that ,i had been     
wronged to  keep me up1 but only a      

nausea and horror of movement1 a        
giddiness and  whirl of every sense4 ,i 
lay like a log upon the ground4    ,when
 ,i recovered my faculties a little1 it 
was to find myself once more  in the    
great vacant plain which surrounded that
 accursed home of  pleasure1--a great   
and desolate waste upon which ,i could  
see no track1  which my heart fainted to
 look at1 which no longer roused any    
hope in me1  as if it might lead to     
another beginning1 or any place in which
 yet at  the last it might be possible  
to live4 ,as ,i lay in that horrible    
giddiness and faintness1 ,i loathed life
 and this continuance which  brought me 
through one misery after another1 and   
forbade me to die4 ,oh  that death would
 come1--death1 which is silent and      
still1 which makes no  movement and     
hears no sound6 that ,i might end and be
 no more6 ,oh that ,i  could go back    
even to the stillness of that chamber   
which ,i had not been  able to endure6  
,oh that ,i could return1--return6 to   

what8 ,to other  miseries and other     
pain1 which looked less because they    
were past4 ,but ,i  knew now that return
 was impossible until ,i had circled all
 the dreadful  round2 and already ,i    
felt again the burning of that desire   
that pricked  and drove me on1--not     
back1 for that was impossible4 ,little  
by little ,i  had learned to understand1
 each step printed upon my brain as with
  red-hot irons3 not back1 but on1 and  
on--to greater anguish1 yes2 but on1  to
 fuller despair1 to experiences more    
terrible1--but on1 and on1 and on4  ,i  
arose again1 for this was my fate4 ,i   
could not pause even for all the        
teachings of despair4    ,the waste     
stretched far as eyes could see4 ,it was
 wild and terrible1 with  neither       
vegetation nor sign of life4 ,here and  
there were heaps of ruin1  which had    
been villages and cities2 but nothing   
was in them save reptiles  and crawling 
poisonous life and traps for the unwary 
wanderer4 ,how often  ,i stumbled and   

fell among these ashes and dust-heaps of
 the past6 ,through  what dread moments 
,i lay1 with cold and slimy things      
leaving their trace  upon my flesh6 ,the
 horrors which seized me1 so that ,i    
beat my head  against a stone1--why     
should ,i tell8 ,these were nought2 they
 touched not  the soul4 ,they were but  
accidents of the way4    ,at length1    
when body and soul were low and worn out
 with misery and  weariness1 ,i came to 
another place1 where all was so         
different from the  last that the sight 
gave me a momentary solace4 ,it was full
 of furnaces  and clanking machinery and
 endless work4 ,the whole air round was 
aglow  with the fury of the fires2 and  
men went and came like demons in the    
flames1 with red-hot melting metal1     
pouring it into moulds and beating  it  
on anvils4 ,in the huge workshops in the
 background there was a  perpetual whir 
of machinery1 of wheels turning and     
turning1 and pistons  beating1 and all  
the din of labor1 which for a time      

renewed the anguish  of my brain1 yet   
also soothed it1--for there was meaning 
in the beatings  and the whirlings4 ,and
 a hope rose within me that with all the
 forces  that were here1 some revolution
 might be possible1--something that     
would  change the features of this place
 and overturn the worlds4 ,i went from  
workshop to workshop1 and examined all  
that was being done1 and                
understood1--for ,i had known a little  
upon the earth1 and my old  knowledge   
came back1 and to learn so much more    
filled me with new life4  ,the master of
 all was one who never rested1 nor      
seemed to feel  weariness nor pain nor  
pleasure4 ,he had everything in his     
hand4 ,all who  were there were his     
workmen or his assistants or his        
servants4 ,no one  shared with him in   
his councils4 ,he was more than a prince
 among them2  he was as a god4 ,and the 
things he planned and made1 and at which
 in  armies and legions his workmen     
toiled and labored1 were like living    

things4 ,they were made of steel and    
iron1 but they moved like the brains    
and nerves of men4 ,they went where he  
directed them1 and did what he          
commanded1 and moved at a touch4 ,and   
though he talked little1 when he  saw   
how ,i followed all that he did1 he was 
a little moved towards me1  and spoke   
and explained to me the conceptions that
 were in his mind1 one  rising out of   
another1 like the leaf out of the stem  
and the flower out  of the bud4 ,for    
nothing pleased him that he did1 and    
necessity was upon  him to go on and on4
    ',they are like living things1' ,i  
said2 'they do your bidding1 whatever   
you command them4 ,they are like another
 and a stronger race of men4'    ',men6'
 he said1 'what are men8 ,the most      
contemptible of all things that  are    
made1--creatures who will undo in a     
moment what it has taken  millions of   
years1 and all the skill and all the    
strength of generations  to do4 ,these  
are better than men4 ,they cannot think 

or feel4 ,they cannot  stop but at my   
bidding1 or begin unless ,i will4 ,had  
men been made so1 we  should be masters 
of the world4'    ',had men been made   
so1 you would never have been1--for what
 could genius  have done or             
thought8--you would have been a machine 
like all the rest4'    ',and better so6'
 he said1 and turned away2 for at that  
moment1 watching  keenly as he spoke the
 action of a delicate combination of    
movements1 all  made and balanced to a  
hair's breadth1 there had come to him   
suddenly the  idea of something which   
made it a hundredfold more strong and   
terrible4  ,for they were terrible1     
these things that lived yet did not     
live1 which  were his slaves and moved  
at his will4 ,when he had done this1 he 
looked  at me1 and a smile came upon his
 mouth2 but his eyes smiled not1 nor    
ever  changed from the set look they    
wore4 ,and the words he spoke were      
familiar  words1 not his1 but out of the
 old life4 ',what a piece of work is a  

man6'  he said2 'how noble in reason1   
how infinite in faculty6 in form and    
moving how express and admirable6 ,and  
yet to me what is this  quintessence of 
dust8' ,his mind had followed another   
strain of thought1  which to me was     
bewildering1 so that ,i did not know how
 to reply4 ,i  answered like a child1   
upon his last word4    ',we are dust no 
more1' ,i cried1 for pride was in my    
heart1--pride of him  and his wonderful 
strength1 and his thoughts which created
 strength1 and  all the marvels he did2 
'those things which hindered are        
removed4 ,go on2  go on6 you want but   
another step4 ,what is to prevent that  
you should not  shake the universe1 and 
overturn this doom1 and break all our   
bonds8  ,there is enough here to explode
 this gray fiction of a firmament1 and  
to  rend those precipices1 and to       
dissolve that waste1--as at the time    
when  the primeval seas dried up1 and   
those infernal mountains rose4'    ,he  
laughed1 and the echoes caught the sound

 and gave it back as if  they mocked it4
 ',there is enough to rend us all into  
shreds1' he said1  'and shake1 as you   
say1 both heaven and earth1 and these   
plains and  those hills4'    ',then     
why1' ,i cried in my haste1 with a      
dreadful hope piercing through my       
soul--'why do you create and perfect1   
but never employ8 ,when we had  armies  
on the earth1 we used them4 ,you have   
more than armies2 you have  force beyond
 the thoughts of man1 but all without   
use as yet4'    ',all1' he cried1 'for  
no use6 ,all in vain6--in vain6'    ',o 
master6' ,i said1 'great and more great 
in time to come1 why8--why8'    ,he took
 me by the arm and drew me close4       
',have you strength1' he said1 'to bear 
it if ,i tell you why8'    ,i knew what 
he was about to say4 ,i felt it in the  
quivering of my veins1  and my heart    
that bounded as if it would escape from 
my breast2 but ,i  would not quail from 
what he did not shrink to utter4 ,i     
could speak no  word1 but ,i looked him 

in the face and waited--for that which  
was more  terrible than all4    ,he held
 me by the arm1 as if he would hold me  
up when the shock of  anguish came4     
',they are in vain1' he said1 'in       
vain--because ,god rules  over all4'    
,his arm was strong2 but ,i fell at his 
feet like a dead man4    ,how miserable 
is that image1 and how unfit to use6    
,death is still and  cool and sweet4    
,there is nothing in it that pierces    
like a sword1 that  burns like fire1    
that rends and tears like the turning   
wheels4 ,o life1 ,o  pain1 ,o terrible  
name of ,god in which is all succor and 
all torment6  ,what are pangs and       
tortures to that1 which ever increases  
in its awful  power1 and has no limit   
nor any alleviation1 but whenever it is 
spoken  penetrates through and through  
the miserable soul8 ,o ,god1 whom once  
,i  called my ,father6 ,o ,thou who     
gavest me being1 against whom ,i have   
fought1  whom ,i fight to the end1 shall
 there never be anything but anguish in 

the  sound of ,thy great name8    ,when 
,i returned to such command of myself as
 one can have who has been  transfixed  
by that sword of fire1 the master stood 
by me still4 ,he had  not fallen like   
me1 but his face was drawn with anguish 
and sorrow like  the face of my friend  
who had been with me in the lazar-house1
 who had  disappeared on the dark       
mountains4 ,and as ,i looked at him1    
terror seized  hold upon me1 and a      
desire to flee and save myself1 that ,i 
might not be  drawn after him by the    
longing that was in his eyes4    ,the   
master gave me his hand to help me to   
rise1 and it trembled1 but not  like    
mine4    ',sir1' ,i cried1 'have not we 
enough to bear8 ,is it for hatred1 is it
 for  vengeance1 that you speak that    
name8'    ',o friend1' he said1 'neither
 for hatred nor revenge4 ,it is like a  
fire  in my veins2 if one could find    
,him again6'    ',you1 who are as a god1
 who can make and destroy1--you1 who    
could shake  ,his throne6'    ,he put up

 his hand4 ',i who am ,his creature1    
even here--and still ,his  child1 though
 ,i am so far1 so far--' ,he caught my  
hand in his1 and  pointed with the other
 trembling4 ',look6 your eyes are more  
clear  than mine1 for they are not      
anxious like mine4 ,can you see anything
  upon the way8'    ,the waste lay wild 
before us1 dark with a faintly-rising   
cloud1 for  darkness and cloud and the  
gloom of death attended upon that name4 
,i  thought1 in his great genius and    
splendor of intellect1 he had gone mad1 
as sometimes may be4 ',there is         
nothing1' ,i said1 and scorn came into  
my  soul2 but even as ,i spoke ,i       
saw--,i cannot tell what ,i saw--a      
moving spot  of milky whiteness in that 
dark and miserable wilderness1 no bigger
 than  a man's hand1 no bigger than a   
flower4 ',there is something1' ,i said  
unwillingly2 'it has no shape nor form4 
,it is a gossamer-web upon some  bush1  
or a butterfly blown on the wind4'      
',there are neither butterflies nor     

gossamers here4'    ',look for yourself1
 then6' ,i cried1 flinging his hand from
 me4 ,i was  angry with a rage which had
 no cause4 ,i turned from him1 though ,i
 loved  him1 with a desire to kill him  
in my heart1 and hurriedly took the     
other  way4 ,the waste was wild2 but    
rather that than to see the man who     
might  have shaken earth and hell thus  
turning1 turning to madness and the     
awful  journey4 ,for ,i knew what in his
 heart he thought2 and ,i knew that it  
was  so4 ,it was something from that    
other sphere2 can ,i tell you what8 ,a  
child  perhaps--,o thought that wrings  
the heart6--for do you know what manner 
of  thing a child is8 ,there are none in
 the land of darkness4 ,i turned my     
back upon the place where that whiteness
 was4 ,on1 on1 across the waste6  ,on to
 the cities of the night6 ,on1 far away 
from maddening thought1 from  hope that 
is torment1 and from the awful ,name6   
99       99       99       99       99  
,the above narrative1 though it is      

necessary to a full understanding of    
the experiences of the ,little ,pilgrim 
in the ,unseen1 does not belong to  her 
personal story in any way1 but is drawn 
from the ,archives in the  ,heavenly    
,city1 where all the records of the     
human race are laid up4